From: wohlenbe@inter-tel.com (Greg Wohlenberg)
Subject: The misc.fitness TOP TEN list
Reply-To: wohlenbe@inter-tel.com
Organization: Inter-tel, Inc.
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 21:49:51 GMT

     To introduce a lighter  note  to this newsgroup, I have created the "Top
Ten Best Topics and Phrases in Misc.Fitness" list.   Warning:   If  you don't
have a  sense  of  humor,  please skip this note and procede to read the next
highly informative and well-researched posting.  If  you  do  have a sense of
humor, please put on your seatbelt.


10. Cross Training

     Yes, cross training.  We all know this one.  "I love  to  ride  my bike,
inline  skate,  use  the  stairmaster,  run,  play  raquetball,  play tennis,
trampoline, climb rocks, and have sex  30  times a week.  Is is possible that
this much aerobics might affect my weight training?"   No,  not  really.  You
probably just need to cut down on the sex.

9. Injuries

     Injuries?   What  are  injuries?   My  favorite  is  the  stuff  like "I
completely blew out both knees while doing downhill  ski racing.  Is it OK to
attempt a maximum squat (you know, 1000 lbs.  or so) while my knees are still
pinned and braced?"  The great  thing  is  that  we have so many "doctors" in
misc.fitness that you're  sure  to  get  a lot of different answers to choose
from.

8. Studies

     You know, those  great  scientific  studies  produced  by  our reputable
scientific institutions around the world?   "I  saw  this  study  showing how
people lost body fat and  gained  muscle muscle mass by hopping around on one
foot all day and eating lots of  an  herb  only  obtainable  from Madagascar.
Should I  start  doing this?"  Well, don't let us stop you.  Those scientific
studies  are  quite  useful  when  you  have some help interpreting them from
newspapers such as the Enquirer.  Don't worry about the fact that most of the
studies are observational and contain a variety of inappropriate conclusions.

7. Love Handles, Body Fat, Abs, Etc.

     You know this  one--"I've  got  a set of love handles and my significant
other demands I get rid of  them  or  I'm out on the street".  There's always
one  poster indicating that they need to do 100 situps a day.  That poster is
then bombed by 500 people gently reminding him or  her that you CAN'T F*#$ing
SPOT REDUCE.

6. Covert Bailey

     Yes, good old  Covert.   You  had  better  not  mess  with  him  in this
newsgroup.  It is a lot like messing with God  himself.   Sure,  Covert  is a
great guy but  with  a name like his you've got to figure he's trying to hide
something.

5. Steroids

     Let's see.  "Do those fine people in the muscle magazines use that nasty
steroid stuff?"  What, are you stupid or something?  Didn't you know that all
IFFB events are drug tested?  It's really  not  that hard to get to 290 at 6%
bodyfat  if you're work hard enough at it.  You probably just don't know what
hard work is.

4. Sets and Reps

     Hmmm.   "Could  somebody  please  look   at   my  workout  plan?   I  do
approximately 25 sets per bodypart on a 6-on 1-off schedule.  I  haven't made
any  gains  for a few years, though.  What's wrong?"  Well, just a wild guess
but it might have something to do with the lack of list entry #5.

3. Supplements

     Here's another beauty.  "Joe Weider said that I can't  possibly  get big
and strong unless I eat  tons of supplements including individual servings of
at least 2000  calories.   Is  this  true?"   Well, we all know the answer to
this--OF COURSE IT'S TRUE.   Who  are  you  to  question  the  mastur "bater"
blaster, the inventor  of  the  Weider  Money  Making  Principle (my favorite
Weider principle).

2. Arm Wrestling

     Wow, did I learn something here.  I never knew that arm wrestling was so
important to fitness!  I  promise  to  eat  a nasty concoction of vanilla ice
cream,  chili  dogs,  tabasco  sauce,  and  jalapeno  peppers followed by 200
hanging leg lifts every day until I learn my lesson.


And the number one answer is...

1. Hope This Helps (HTH)

     I don't know about you, but this one is really unfair!  To put things on
an even playing field,  I  would  like to formally introduce the sister phase
Hope This Confuses (HFC).  That way you  can always make you intentions clear
no matter why you posted!


HTC,


Greg Wohlenberg          ||  Voice: (602) 961-9000
Inter-tel, Inc.          ||    Fax: (602) 961-1370
6505 W. Chandler Blvd.   || E-mail: wohlenbe@inter-tel.com
Chandler, Arizona, 85226 ||         wohlenbe%intertel.uucp@asuvax.eas.asu.edu

Newsgroups: misc.fitness