HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton)
Subject: Re: Fan Mail I receive
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 18:10:33 GMT

>In article <1992Nov6.090943.16935@spider.co.uk> andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon) writes:
>>I'd just like to share this delightful piece of fan mail I received. I must
>>compliment Mr Davidson on his eloquence and professional use of capitals.
>>
>>What do you think he's trying to tell me ?
>>
>>>> From: ROBERT DAVIDSON <davidsor@math.concord.wvnet.edu>
>>>> Subject: Short Shameful Confession
>>>> 
>>>>  SUCK MY DICK

Hmmm.  I got a similar notice, only mine said

> SHIT

I assumed it was a typo.

-- 
ben
fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Government is sanctioned violence.
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: short shameful trivia (was Re: Election 92:...)
Date: 9 Nov 92 03:39:29 GMT
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Originator: jcarroll@ferris


In the Commonwealth of Virginia, voters cannot cast write-in votes
for president.

jkc (registered in the State of Indecision)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kohli (Mr. Bad Judgment)
Subject: Re: CJ'S FOUR WORD CHALLENGE
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Reply-To: kohli@aslmr.med.ge.com (Mr. Bad Judgment)
Organization: Cheesewursts Unfettered, Ltd.
X-Clue: or at least, spelt korrektly
	<s6q21k8@zola.esd.sgi.com> <s7b6k9k@zola.esd.sgi.com>
	<BxK88C.9JF@phage.cshl.org>
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 92 22:25:50 GMT

in article <BxK88C.9JF@phage.cshl.org>, Tom Boutell writes:
>
<In article <s7b6k9k@zola.esd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>>---
<>cj@sgi.com writes:
>>	Fucking Princeton Mensa Wank
<>
>
<"I'm not certain why you have to bring rotary engines into everything,"
>Dr. James said, stretching langourously on the purple futon, the color of
                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^
<which is irrelevant. "There we are, going along beautifully, doing
>the traditional internal-combustion in-out in-out, 'fucking' as it
<were, and all of a sudden you start talking about Mazdas. Wankel
>rotary engines my ass." He stretched langourously again, as if
                                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^
<maliciously intending to force a dull repetition on the part of the
>author. "If I weren't up for tenure at Princeton I'd never do this."
<With that he slid his tongue down the dean's transmission.
>
<-T
>
you realize, of course, that pet names
should be capitalized.

but if it's just a euphemism, i guess it's
okay.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: igb@fulcrum.co.uk (Ian G Batten)
Subject: Re: Clearly NOT a FORGERY
Organization: Fulcrum Communications
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 08:53:46 GMT

In article <6943@ac13.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@ac13.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>                    USENET NEWS STANDARD FOLLOW-UP FORM

This is my favourite post of the year.

ian
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Subject: Mail service
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 08:46:51 GMT

I have some friends who are collectively known as the "Waimanalo Party
Boys from Hell", for the obvious reason that they periodically throw 
huge parties at their house out in Waimanalo.  (Small town on the Windward
side of Oahu, for those who care.)

Over the years, their friends have learned that it really isn't necessary
to put any specific address on mail sent to this household, and have 
stopped doing so, especially when sending postcards.  Thus they have received 
(for instance) a postcard from Paris addressed only to "Faggot Pervert Hippy 
Scumballs, Waimanalo, Hawaii", or from India addressed to "Party Boys
_Not Faggots!!!_, Waimanalo, Hawaii."  In fact, if you put virtually anything
weird in the addressee or address, and follow it with the words "Waimanalo, 
Hawaii", they will get it, usually with a pencilled note attached: "try 
xxx-xx Hihimanu Street."

I'm not sure why this makes me feel so good, except perhaps that it's 
nice to know that there are still some areas in modern society where 
human judgement intervenes.

  -- Clifton

--
Home: cliftonr@netcom.com     +1 808 521 9073
Work: clifton_r@verifone.com  +1 808 625 3234
Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Whatever flames upon the night/Man's own resinous heart has fed." - W. B. Yeats
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: bathrooms 2
From: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)
Organization: The Man With Ten Cats
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 18:33:16 GMT
Reply-To: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)

In article <aslakson.721461337@pico> aslakson@pico.cs.umn.edu (Brian Excarnate) writes:
>cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio) writes:
>>In article <josh.721431539@mowgli>, josh@cqs.washington.edu writes:
>>|And of course, for men there is the additional question
>>|of how you choose which urinal to use, and what you look
>>|at while you stand there.
>
>>Please do let me know what the algorithm is.
>
>And please check for possible correlations with where people stand in
>elevators, and what they look at while they stand there.

When I ride in an elevator, I usually position myself so that I can read the
date on the inspection certificate.  If the date isn't in the current decade,
then I think about how many strands might be left in the cable.

-- 

Rick Kelly	rmk@rmkhome.UUCP	unixland!rmkhome!rmk	rmk@frog.UUCP
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mbur@nyx.cs.du.edu (MAC)
Subject: Re: bathrooms 2
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 20:37:50 GMT

In article <s6nosrk@zola.esd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>---
>Women choose stalls this way:
>
>- If all stalls are empty, choose your "favorite" stall.  This
>  stall is usually at the end of a row, the larger handicapped
>  stall, or otherwise more desirable than the other(s).
>

Check.

>- If some stalls are occupied, choose a stall not next to any
>  occupied stall.
>

Check.

>- If that is impossible, fill stalls from the restroom door in.
>

I think men do the reverse.  Fill the stall furthest from the door first.

>I can't speak about men's behavior.  Perhaps a men's room
>observer could let me know if stall-filling behavior is 
>sex-independent.
>

I think we need more data points.

>---
>c j silverio


TTFN,
M
From: ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Bigfootf spaceman?
Date: 7 Nov 1992 08:41:02 GMT
Organization: finchhaus
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: helen.oit.itd.umich.edu

found in alt.religion.kibology:
In article <69001@cup.portal.com> John_-_Winston@cup.portal.com writes:
>Dear Bigfoot Observers: I haven't heard what they say about men
>with big feet but I can guess. Maybe if we can learn something about
>how to treat Bigfoot then we can learn how to treat ourselves. 
>John Winston

this belongs in talk.bizarre.

AjD
12 1/2
-- 
                       ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu
'i have had my ups and downs but wotthehell wotthehell' -- mehitabel
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: prokopy@sage.cc.purdue.edu (dave)
Subject: IT'S A MAN-RAY KINDA SKY (was Re: I'M SORRY (was Re: CALLING ALL RADIO TRANSMITTERS!))
Organization: elsewhere
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 00:52:38 GMT

(pale blue eyes) writes:
>(dave) writes:
>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>(dave) writes:
>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>(dave) writes:
>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>(dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>(dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>(dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>(dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(Dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(Dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(Dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(Dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(pale blue eyes) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(Dave) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>put that put that put that up your wall.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>suspicion yourself, suspicion yourself; don't get caught.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>she should know, she's been there twice.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>chronic town, poster torn, reaping wheel
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>not only deadlier, but smarter too.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>it was 'round about midnight, eastern time ....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>reason it could polish up the grey.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>... a two-headed cow
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>martyr misconstrued
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>not everyone can carry the weight of the world.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>pass the magic pillow underhead.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>eleven gallows on your sleeve
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>did we miss anything?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>we could gather, throw a fit.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>conversation fear!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>could it be that one small voice doesn't count in the world?
>>>>>>>>>>>>up the stairs, to the landing; up the stairs, into the hall.
>>>>>>>>>>>tell now what is dreaming; when we try, listen with your eyes, oversimplify.
>>>>>>>>>>a handshake is worthy, if it's all that you've got.
>>>>>>>>>wrap your heels in bones of steel.
>>>>>>>>the city on the river has a girl without a dream.
>>>>>>>god-damn your confusion.
>>>>>>if your friend took a fall, are you obligated to follow?
>>>>>what will be your look this season?
>>>>i thought i'd left you behind.
>>>i fell by your bed once; i didn't want to tell you.
>>but everybody else in town only wants to bring you down.
>jefferson, i think we're lost.
somewhere near the end it said, "you can't do this."  i said i can.

-- 
( dave prokopy - prokopy@en.ecn.purdue.edu or prokopy@sage.cc.purdue.edu    )
( "silence means security.  silence means approval."                        )
(  - r.e.m., "begin the begin"                                              )
From: caz@owlnet.rice.edu (HWRNMNBSOL)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Date: 13 Nov 92 03:42:20 GMT
Organization: Rice University

In article <1992Nov12.234608.7397@netcom.com>, richh@netcom.com (richh) writes:
|> 
|> I have a problem maintaining an erection during most Andy Rooney segments
|> on 60 Minutes.

"Do you ever wonder why your erection never overinflates and bursts?  I know
I do......."

--
HWRNMNBSOL
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh)
Subject: Re: Leg Wraps/rub downs/hosing...
Organization: Cornell Theory Center
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 19:28:48 GMT

In rec.equestrian, meganb@sequent.com (Megan Breninger) writes:
>I show Hank quite a bit, as you all are well aware of by now.

Oh, show Hank to me, please...

mdw
-- 
Matt Welsh    mdw@tc.cornell.edu        +1 607 253 2737
Systems Programmer, Cornell Theory Center
  "She's like jelly roll, like sculpture!"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: John Austin <jea1@Cornell.edu>
Subject: Re: i want my own group
X-Xxdate: Mon, 9 Nov 92 19: 03:31 GMT
Nntp-Posting-User: jea1@cornell.edu
Organization: BTI
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d9
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 18:58:23 GMT

In article <1992Nov6.201604.3564@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> big daddy hate box,
pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu writes:
In article <1992Nov6.201604.3564@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> big daddy hate box,
pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu writes:
>i think i should have my own group. i think it should be something like;
>
>alt.busted-big-time.finerty
>of course it shouldn't be made unless i actually do get busted.
>i'll let you know, especially Ilana. later, 
>					
>--
>	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
>               "i am such a stupid,ignorant son of a bitch.
>                           please kill me now."
>						          "React with this!"


Now, what I'd like to see is PJF dodging the bullet this time, continuing on
to wild success in his chosen field, and posting to the net all the time with
the same tired .sig.

Eventually, the Scorched Earth Party drafts him as a presidential candidate,
and, oddity of oddities, he wins!

He posts an exuberant victory notice, properly entitled "Gloat", complete with
.sig as above.  THEN the FBI nabs him.


Misc.test followups echo interminably.


.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .
John Austin (jea1@cornell.edu)                                                 
Grafix 'R Us                                                this space for rent
Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research                                    
123456789112345678921234.sig *still* under construction...961234567897123456789
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Sickness")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: S S C
Date: 9 Nov 92 05:53:20 GMT
	<RANJIT.92Nov8221220@unagi.cis.upenn.edu>
Followup-To: sc.misc
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: ranjit@unagi.cis.upenn.edu's message of 9 Nov 92 03:12:20 GMT


Southern South Carolina.
--

                And for to se, and eek for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: short, curious, confession
Date: 6 Nov 1992 17:16:11 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Distribution: world
Reply-To: jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: jd-next.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
Keywords: duh


I couldn't stand it anymore. I went and looked in misc.test to see how many  
posts were there from the re:gloat thread.

52 so far. 

Any side bets on how many more there will be?

--
************************************************************************
 the Lost Cause                       jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
(hardwaire guy extraordinaire)       MACTech,NeXTtech; NeXTmail accepted
                      "Everything is relative."
************************************************************************
From: orc@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Mr Orc, computer killer at large.
Date: 12 Nov 92 20:43:32 GMT
Organization: Department of Atomic Text Units

... and so I turn on the computer, and start playing games.

"Odd, things seem to be running slowly.  It's almost as if math has
gotten slower in its old age."

Turn off the game, reboot the computer.

"Processor:   80486
 Coprocessor: none" Sez the computer.

  So, well, I've just performed a successful mathecomy on my 486 box.
  I wonder if I should add it to my resume.

                ____
  david parsons \bi/ This is why I didn't become an electrical engineer.
                 \/
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams)
Subject: six inch spike
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 22:27:28 GMT


you've worn the hat...
you've done the drug...

now see the movie.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry)
Subject: Re: teenagers letters to satin
Organization: American Garments, Inc.
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 92 21:40:10 GMT

In article <5510@gold.gvg.tek.com> mikea@zorba.gvg.tek.com (Michael P. Anderson) writes:
>
>	deer satin,
>
>		are you my mom/and can i have those car keys..hmm?
>		I touched myself today..whats this all about
>		Jack Kemp?
>

  Dear Mike,

       No you cant have the car keys, and besides the seats in your car are
       vinyl.  Whay would anyone put satin seats in a car?  Jack kemp doesn't
       wear satin, in general, but mostly wool suits.  Send hugs to your
       mom for me.

				Satin.



-- 
v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-
    "Reality is a sandwich that I did not order."
			       Zippy the Pinhead (for president)
^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: Ferret Feeding
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 16:11:42 GMT

In article <1992Nov11.160553.15032@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
>in rec.pets, king@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (joyce.l.king) writes:
>)I always fed IAMS, but after Codo died, Gumby started losing her hair.
>
>MAYBE GUMBY WAS LONELY AND HORNY, AND NEEDED A LITTLE POKEY.
>
>
>carasso,


that was fucking hysterical. thanks for the best laff ive had all day.
im so glad you're back on the net.
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Evile
Date: 9 Nov 92 19:18:35 GMT
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

This should have started out as a "tapes on my desk" post, but C (young,
pretty, but not so bright co-op student from local community college) came
over to my desk, saw the tapes and said "Oh! What kind of music do you
like to listen to?"
Knowing that her knowledge of music does not extend beyond Reba
MacIntyre I decided to have some fun.
"Christian rock."
"Really!" Giving me the eye. "You?"
"Yeah! See this one, Jesus Jones? Well Jones is slang for an addiction
and these guys are hooked on Jesus."
C gets a confused look on her face.
I go on. 
"And this one, Nine Inch Nails, is a reference to the nails
used to crucify Christ. Why here, look at this song, 'Help Me, I Am
in Hell" it's about what awaits all sinners."

Even *I* don't belive it, but she's buying it. I drop the A bomb.

"And these guys call themselves 'Ministry' cause that what they use
their music as."
She walks off, thinking of me in a new light. 
I expect things will be different tomorrow after she talks to her
boyfriend Melvin (his real name, no shit!) tonight.

rp -- Jesus built my SPARCstation.
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:36976 alt.cesium:237 alt.non.sequitur:616
From: lindsay@green.cs.wisc.edu (Joe Lindsay)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.cesium,alt.non.sequitur
Subject: Re: My Favorite Molecule (or, Short Shameful Addiction)
Date: 6 Nov 92 05:37:22 GMT
Organization: U of Wisconsin Madison - Computer Sciences

Spammity Spam - wonderful Spam?

-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe "Keeper of the Cheese" Lindsay -- lindsay@cs.wisc.edu
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Why make sense, when you can make pizza?"
                                             -Zippy the Pinhead
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: sol@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Ana)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: And Still the Moon
Date: 9 Nov 92 22:30:59 GMT
Organization: Chaos
In-reply-to: andrewc@spider.co.uk's message of 6 Nov 92 13:49:04 GMT


Andrew, 

I'm impressed. Spider must be a hell of a place to post news
to work at. Can you put in a nice word for a stressed out PhD-student? 

Thanks,

Ana
--
Guy Fawkes died for *you*.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: benth@microsoft.com (Ben)
Subject: RE: PFinerty is alive (so far)
Date: 12 Nov 92 21:28:32 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corp.

polson@msscc.med.utah.edu writes:
>Hi this is a friend of PJF.  The SS showed up at lab.  They found found
>Finerty here and called him at SantaFe.  He is nat arrested yet.
>He will meet with them on thursday.  PJF send send his best and
>regards to St.Tarry. 

Cut it out, Roger.

BENth



Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: silver@xrtll.uucp (Hi Ho Silver)
Subject: Re: Short, Shameless Hussy
Organization: What you won't find on my desk.
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 01:57:16 GMT

Sayeth gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Craig Shergold):
$Quoth Mark.:
$(  Damn, I knew I should have checked the setting on that "coffee grinder"
$ ) before I sold it to her.  I was trying for a Felicity Kendal (suitably
$(  rejuvenated).
$I know this is the wrong thread, but... `old' is old enough that            /
$you don't think there's much wrong with Felicity Kendal `as is'.           / g

   Y'mean when I get old I'll want a girlfriend with miniscule tits?

silver "that'd be a change, sure"
-- 
|I know that sometimes my jaw clicks when I eat.  Void where prohibited.|
|Have you seen this boy?  Lust never sleeps.  I say hurl.  Honey, I'm   |
|home. _________________________________________________________________|
|_____/ silver@bokonon.UUCP    ...!{uunet|becker|xrtll}!bokonon!silver  |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh)
Subject: Moliere and the Feral Alpaca
Organization: Cornell Theory Center
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 06:45:15 GMT

Moliere and the Feral Alpaca

Life as an elevator musician has been becoming progressively difficult as 
the market is overcrowded with rookies and members of the post-modern Real
Lift movement that's sweeping department stores and office buildings worldwide.
For example, my twenty-minute rendition of the Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the
U.K." was turned down recently by Best Western and Howard Johnson's in one
fell swoop. Disgruntled, I went back to composing only for Wal-Mart in hopes
of gaining some much-needed clout within the musak cabal. The real kicker 
which I may never grow accustomed to is motion sickness from the elevator
ascending and descending all day long, as I sit on top of the passenger car 
with my viola and harmonica, strumming out drab tunes day in and day out. Most
passengers are oblivious to the fact that I am indeed providing live elevator
music for their transportative entertainment, but the few who notice are kind
enough to leave a small monetary donation in the hat conspicously left in
the corner of the lift. 

After I'm relieved from my 22-hour shift by Luigi, former guitarist for
Bruce Spingsteen's E Street Band, and perpetrator of that hated attitude
carried around by most rock-guitarist-turned-elevator-musicians that all life
is pain, and everyone should become a vegetarian to disseminate hatred towards
plants, I head to Subway for a meatball-and-cheese. On the way I generally
run into Jim, who's either window shopping for computer software or pestering
store proprietors to give him complimentary stationery or other such 
paraphrenalia. So Jim and I head down to Subway together, where he gets a 
double veggie sub with all the fixings: including an entire baked potato, 
sunflower seeds, and tofu pudding, all wrapped in a phallic whole wheat bun. 
Interestingly enough, we fear that Jim's vegetarianism is due to the 
aforementioned hatred towards plants. I've tried to convince him that such 
antipathy towards the vegetable kingdom is not only rash and uncalled for, but 
also isn't quite consistent as plants are indeed vital to the respiratory cycle 
of sunlight, oxygen, and carbon dioxide that serves as the life-blood for the 
planet's ecology. He refuses to listen, however, and ravishly munches away on 
his carrot sticks and organic peanut butter.

Kids these days, they'll do anything to rid themselves of angst.

mdw

-- 
Matt Welsh    mdw@tc.cornell.edu        +1 607 253 2737
Systems Programmer, Cornell Theory Center
  "She's like jelly roll, like sculpture!"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre