From: stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andrews)
Subject: Re: ADVICE GIVERS - help me please
Organization: CSIRO Division of Mathematics and Statistics, Australia
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 09:53:05 GMT

In article <251@cnmhnet.UUCP> keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard) writes:
>In article <1992Dec15.182908.18991@penet.fi> an2517@anon.penet.fi writes:
>>Howdy,
>>          I need some help with a problem of mine.  It involves my
>>          So here is the problem, he is really grumpy lately.  He
>>          i AM almost at my wits end.  i find that these comments hurt
>
>Dump this guy!  Your first line is wrong.  You don't need help.
>HE DOES.  He is grumpy.  His comments hurt you.  Why
>are you putting up with this?  Move on.  Life is too short
>to spend it with someone like him.
>--Keith

YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!!! I *am* *MAD*. What kind of a statement is that?
Just because the guy has a bit of a problem he has no right to be in
a rrelationship? I think not. Chronic depressives are people too.

(I'm not saying that this is the problem, but I do agree with the
suggestion of another poster, the symptoms do seem similar).

The problem... if it is depression, can be a tough one on the SO, but
with a bit of work and understanding, it can be dealt with. I've had
such a problem (chronic depression) for many many years, and only in the
past couple have I started to deal with it to my satisfaction. One of the most
important bit's as I see it is for the sufferer to learn about him/herself and
to be able to recognise when he/she is irritable/grumpy/cranky/whatever and
to, if not fix it, at least deal with it such that it is as little hassle
as possible for those around him/her.

The learning comes in many ways. An important point. See a shrink. and
don't be ashamed about it. Shrinks are not like in the cartoons and the
jokes - no couches, no lying down and talking about your mother. You
just sit on the lounge chair and talk. It's kinda frustrating in a way,
you go to some guys office, sit in a chair, and talk about yourself and
your feelings for 45 mins and pay him a whole shitload of money just
for listening!!! It is worth it though, they do have a knack for getting you
talking!!!

Like all problems, reconise that there is one. (Step one), and go from there.

Methinks in this case, talk with him... ask if he recognises that he is
being such a pain... see if you can talk him into seeing a head doctor of
some kind (Psychiatrist, Psycologist, whatever) and get sussed out for
a diagnosis. Those guys are pretty good at putting a finger on what is up and
will specify an appropriate treatment. Can't go wrong methinks..  but if
you get a doc you don't feel comfortable talking to, say so, and move on...
You *must* be able to talk to sort stuff out...

DON'T whatever you do chuck it in... Whatever it is, there's not much
doubt its not so hard to fix... I put myself right in a few short
months (I still have the depressin and the irritability etc, but NOW I
can deal with it) on my own... with the help an support of a SO, you'll
have no probs whatsoever...

Look, I could rave on about this for hours. Have a think, If there's anything
at all I can do to help, please ask...

stuartb

>


-- 
 "Murder is nothing more than a common assault with unfortunate consequences"
                                                (Rumpole, of the Old Bailey)
################################################################################
Stuart Andrews (stuarta@syd.dms.csiro.au)
Opinions posted here are mine and do not necessarily comply with those of CSIRO