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Date:         Wed, 19 Aug 1992 12:04:00 +1000
              <AUTISM@SJUVM.BITNET>
From:         LNCJB@CC.NEWCASTLE.EDU.AU
Subject:      Re: Thanks for the congrats...
X-To:         AUTISM%SJUVM.BITNET@pucc.Princeton.EDU

Dan,

I had similar experiences in the past, but I have always considered that it
was the 'claustrophobia' I feel on such occasions that produces the violent
physical reactions. I can't stand crowded places at any time, but I am
particularly adverse to crowded restaurants....especially in winter when they
have all the doors closed and the air-conditioning on 'warm'. The food smells
and the effect of the B.O. whether perfumed or not (perfumed is worse of
course) neveer fails to bring on a migraine and if I don't get out of that
place when this happens, I pass out and wake up to vomiting and diarrhoea.
Usually though when I pass out, some kind person takes me out into the fresh
air and I fine in a matter of minutes.

There have been many such occasions, but the worse one was at my wedding
reception . I was already annoyed with myself because I knew I didn't really
want to marry Bob - I was quite content to just live with him having already
born two of his children. We were happy then but I instinctively knew that
things were going to change the minute I attached my name to a marriage
certificate....I had evidence of his jealousy before hand which I had been
able to control as a 'free woman' but once I became his 'possession' my fears
were realised - but I've digressed again. By the time we arrived at the
reception I was already feeling quite lousy. Although I was having difficulty
breathing I did manage to finish my meal, although I wasn't hearing anything
that was going on around me. After taking my first sip of coffee, the migraine
hit (the worse 'hit' I've ever received). I got up to go to open a window,
only took two steps and passed out; as soon as I came to, I made a mad dash
for the ladies room; just inside the door I passed out again; coming to this
time covered in vomit and excretia.....I collapse in a corner in tears, while
my matron of honour retrieved my 'going away' clothes for me to change into.
Fortunately, I was able to have a shower and clean myself up somewhat. When I
felt well enough to rejoin my company, I ventured out again. The proceedings
were hurried up immensely, so that I could make a hasty retreat before it
happened again. I managed to make it to the top of the stairs, as we were
leaving, before I passed out again and took a tumble down the stairs (about
10)....I was lucky I didn't break any bones. I passed out one more time before
I made it to the pavement outside. Bob and I never had a 'wedding night', I
spent all night in the toilet. That episode taught me never to 'do' anything
that 'I don't want to' and never go to crowded restaurants on a cold winter's
night.

The only time I ever go out to dine now is on Monday or Tuesday nights to some
quiet intimate place with only my family or one other person.....never with
strangers in the group.....the stress of interacting socially with them in
unfamiliar surroundings is more than I can handle.

Carolyn
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