From: gmr6139@ultb.isc.rit.edu (G.M. Richard)
Subject: A Modern Reenactment of Schroedinger's Cat
Originator: gmr6139@ultb
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 20:37:41 GMT


     Project CatVax: A Modern Reenactment of Schroedinger's Cat


   Although many philosophers have discussed this topic over many 
years, the only actual documented experiments were performed here 
at the Rochester Institute of Technology.  There are many points of 
which I am still unsure, since I just recently came upon the 
research data one day looking through /usr/tmp files on our Unix 
machine.  
   Apparently, the Microelectric Engineering staff were trying to 
find a way, through warped physics, of creating a third logic 
state: I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW, or Idak for short (as opposed to True 
and False).  This reaserch project was dubbed Project CatVax by a 
couple of grad students.  While nothing productive was ever 
comcluded from the experiments, the results are quite interesting.  
There were also some quide odd occurances on campus during the 
execution of the experiments, which this report lists and gives 
possible explinations.
   The experiments were started March 21st, in the spring of '84. 
The official end of the research was March 28th of the same year, 
but there are still rumors of ongoing research.  Just last year, a 
Micro-E grad student was reportedly seen buying large quantities of 
cats from local animal shelters, but this report couldn't be 
justified.  In addition, large hairballs have been found from time 
to time in the ion implanter's mass-flow controller sub-assembly.
   During the week of experimenting, the cafeteria food suddenly 
and unexplainably increasesed in edibility.  The local Computer 
Science House also cleaned out their entire storage of useless junk 
then proceded to let any average Joe get a disk quota on their 
intensive Vax network. The offices of Residence Life and Apartment 
Life had their first meeting to discuss a possible line of 
communication between the two.  In addition, the Campus Expansion 
Committee actually considered building a steel and glass rec 
center (You need to experience RIT first hand to understand the 
last two).  These were all quite extraordinary occourances in 
themselves, but considering they happened during Project CatVax, 
they must be anything but coincidental.

   Concerning the cat:  Professor Bob Smith, the faculty advisor 
for the project, sums it all up in one quote:

        "Well, ya know, Sometimes ya just feel like a nut.  And
        sometimes ya don't.  But if ya can't make up yer mind,
        then yer screwed. "
        
   Apperently, the Microelectronic Engineering lab just got a 
series of diffusion furnaces from M&M/Mars, and they were all 
excited about it.
   There is also the matter of the radioactive substance, if that 
is what the experiment used.  How could you get an Excimer laser to 
shoot a beam at half-frequency?  What is the half-life of a 
half-probable radioactive gas?  Or, if it was a computer set up 
with a 9mm Beretta, (yes, one was actually used!!) how much force 
is necesary to half-pull the trigger?  How many licks does it take 
to get halfway through a Tootsie-Pop?  What's a strange quark if 
you cut it in half? (a semi-normal, half-charmed electron?)  These 
matters were expanded upon for great lengths in the discussion area 
of the reports, but I didn't include it here for obvious reasons 
(it goes on for seventy pages!!).  And what should the box be made 
from?  Should it be painted?  Polished to a shine?  Or should Amish 
Hex signs be placed upon it? 
   There are many mysteries concerning the practicality of an 
entire computer constructed of Schroedinger Cat boxes.  Someone 
would need to feed them, water them, and let them out to do their 
business.  This would cause considerable down time, even if the 
cats were all placed on the same eating/drinking/business schedule. 
As for the size of the system, the estimated building size was 
larger than Grand Central Station and all the surrounding cities.
    The most expensive part of the whole CatVax is having a false 
logic statement.  This means the cat needs to be either removed 
from the box or simply killed.  This also makes the processimg 
speed a bit slow.  (Vacuum Tube Logic never looked better!!)
    In the end, however, the CatVax didn't really work.  The 
Microelectronic Engineering department lost its research grant with 
Purina, and had no source of cat food.  But a few interesting 
things did emerge from Project CatVax.  It was concluded that a cat 
can produce a new logic state, called I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW, when 
placed under a Schroedinger's Cat environment.

     Here's a few memorable quotes from the research:
     

"Aaaack, Pffffftttt!"   -Bill, the first cat to survive The Box

"I dunno.  He sure as hell acts dead, but he keeps saying he's 
  alive."  -Professor Bob, immediately after a grad student gets 
  trapped in a box

"I've had dreams of being in a room full of pussy!" - The same 
  grad student, immediately before becoming trapped.

"Wow!" - an anonymous, innocent bystander

"How many gigaflops are you up to?" - a jesting Computer 
  Engineering student, jealous because his Senior Design project 
  only drove an RC car in circles.


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