From: adean@weber.ucsd.edu (Anthony V. Dean)
Newsgroups: alt.irc
Subject: Re: Offensive language. *warning*
Date: 27 Sep 1992 03:34:59 GMT
Organization: University of California at San Diego
NNTP-Posting-Host: weber.ucsd.edu


After reading Anthony Dean (adean@weber.ucsd.edu) 's post about:
 > Crap! #hotsex is educational, fun and easy to use. (...)

andreww@win3 (Andrew Watts) from Down Under asked this question:
 > Sorry, what planet did you say you were from?
 > Why dont you try a *REAL* channel like, /quit ? or /signoff ?

With that, he hit the S)end option, tilted  his  head  back,  and
with  incredible delicacy, stretched the lowerlid of his left eye
downward. He began to roll the now exposed left eyeball slowly in
the  opposite  direction.  From his right hand, and with Olympic-
like precision, he squeezed the thin white bottle and squirted  a
drop  from the industrial-strength Blood-shot-Away(tm) container.
It irritated him for a split second. But he was ok. The pain soon
went  away.  He  repeated the process with similar conviction and
grace for the right eye then reached for a tissue but  accidently
poked  Boner,  the  cat, right in the eye, instead. It snarled at
him. He screamed. Then they both broke out in senseless laughter.
Everything  seemed ok  ... or was it?

Across the Atlantic ocean at about the same time ...  

asamonte@hertz.elee.calpoly.edu  (Just  some  loser...)
had just finished his fourth bong for the night. He smiled at the
dancing letters on the screen and reached out with his left  hand
to  catch  one  of  them.  He caught one. He let out a victorious
laugh, then lit fire to the Unix manual on the  table.   Laughter
turned  into  anguish  when  he  realized that it wasn't the Unix
manual he was burning. It was the Bio book he had  been  studying
from  for  the  midterm  the next day. Too late, he thought. He's
taking the class for Pass/No Pass, anyway.  With  that,  he  took
another  drag and pounded 'n' on the keyboard. It took him to the
next alt.irc article.  A moment of intense silence and concentra-
tion passed. Then another.  Then another. A frown appeared on his
face and his eyes began darting from one corner to another.  Sud-
denly,  his fingers were jumping all over the keyboard.  BANG! He
finally slammed the pinky with all his strength on the RETURN key
and sent the following words flying across internet:
  > Gee, it's a wonder how many of the humorly impared (or should
  > I say humorly challenged?) who post here.  Even  I  could  see  
  > the blinding sarcasm in his post.  (...)

Meanwhile, and unbeknown to Boner and andreww@win3 (Andrew Watts)
(who  by  now  have reduced themselves to just a fashionable gig-
gling,) a man called bosman@fwi.uva.nl (Dr.D) from the Netherland
had this to say after having read the same article:
  > Are some people just dumb, or was I the only one  seeing  the
  > sarcasm?  

And with that, he added:
  > bleh.

Down the street, Elvis was caught and charged  with  shop-lifting
at  a  local 7-11. Still no words yet as to how he'll plead. Back
to the laughing duo. Boner has now quieten down  and  was rubbing
himself  against  the couch.  andreww@win3 (Andrew Watts) watched
with curiosity for a few moments, his eyes resolutlely  fixed  on
Boner,  his  head shaking in amazement. Some thoughts came across
his mind, but we wont mention it here, for fear of minors reading
this  article.  His  attention is now back on the monitor screen.
After a few minutes he realized that he needed to turn it on again.
He  did.   Before  long, he found himself at the unix prompt once
more. This looks familiar, he thought. With that,  he  typed  'rn'
and pinkied the return key.

Boner is now smiling again as he staggered across the living room
and  walked  head-on  into  the  television.  There,  he remained
motionless but still smiling. Meanwhile ...  andreww@win3 (Andrew
Watts) has spotted the comment from our European contributor.  

  > geez, I saw the sarcasm, I used some in reply.. blah blah.. 
He snapped back in defense and quickly sent the reply on its  way
across  internet. By now, Boner 's smile has turned into a rather
awkward grin. He tried to get up but to no avail. All  that  rub-
bing, although satisfying, has reduced him to a temporary vegie.

Down at the local Cop Shop, Elvis turned out to be a fanatic 
Japanese  fan/impersonator.  The authorities were suspicious of his
authenticity when the alleged Elvis kept on bowing every 30 seconds 
while rendering something to this effect.   "Rough me tender, rough 
me good ..."  He was booked on the shop-lifting charge as well as
impersonating a dead fat guy.

Now.

While there isn't exactly a moral to this story, there are a cou-
ple  important things one can learn from this. While 'boner' is a
witty name for a cat, careful not to let the animal  live  up  to
its name by wearing out the furniture. While laughter is the best
medicine and the universal language, there are some who  wont  be
cured and cannot read.  And that ...
 > You may have been being sarcastic, but  there  is  plenty  who
 > really  beleive what you said. " 
                                                         The End.
-- 
-- avDean