From: grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject:  Big Time
Distribution: world
Date: 1 Oct 92 21:29:01 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love


Shelia fidgeted in the bucket seat of her Camero.  I knew something 
was wrong.
Finally she broached what was bothering her.
"Grendel?" 
I don't say anything.
"It's Boy...I mean he's a nice kid and all but, you know,...weird."
"You mean he's weird or weird things have been happening."
She fidgets some more. "Yeah, weird things have been happening...like", 
she stops self-consciously as if saying it aloud will make her crazy.
"Like, size, things", she mutters. "Oh, forget it. Just get the 
creepy little git out of my apartment."

We get to her apartment and walk through the front door just in time to 
see Boy riding Shelia's cat.

Shelia starts to scream, I slap my hand over her mouth and kick the door 
shut behind us.
"Shut up! Shut up!", I hiss. "It's no big deal he can fix it."
Shelia just stood there shaking and pale, back pressed against her wall.

I walk slowly into the living room and stare at Boy.
"Boy, fix it...now."
Boy climbs off the cat and immediately it shrinks down to normal housecat 
size.
"I thought we had a deal, ya little freak."
"I did not know she would be returning early. I apologize if I have 
alarmed her."
As per usually, he says this with no inflection or expression.
Boy never smiles or frowns; never laughs or cries.
I love Boy.
He is small and extremely dangerous and therefore, a lot of fun.

We exit stage right before Shelia has a nervous breakdown and get on 
the train going up town.
Boy sits in my lap and bestows, what I believe to be, the only sign of 
affection he knows how.  He gently pinches...No, kneads the flesh on my 
forearm between his puggy thumb and forefinger while he sucks the thumb 
of his free hand.
Boy is 4 years old.  I think.  He only stands 2' 3/4" tall. His eyes are 
green and his hair is so black it looks like someone up-ended unrefined 
crude on his little head.
"Boy, we're going to the Grand Canyon."
"Why Grendel?"
"Why not Boy?"
"Why not indeed. Again I am disarmed by your Taoist logic. I bow before your
superior intellect."
"Damn straight, you little snot."

We get my car and get grooving.  I awake to find Boy's finger poking me up 
my left nostril.
"Uh, was I weaving? How long have I been out?"
"Only 3 hours and no you weren't weaving. My hand is tired of holding the 
wheel and you were beginning to accelerate."
Yawning I reach down and grab a Snickers bar off the floor, rip it open and 
cram most of the bar into my mouth. Nutrition the American way.

"How close are we Boy?" Boy looks down at his calculations. "We should be 
there in a day."

Suddenly, I see a lot of debris in the road ahead of us and I slow the car 
down. As we get closer I see what's left of a motorcycle at the side of 
the road.  Sitting next to it is a woman dressed in motorcycle leathers 
looking dazed.

I pull over and jump out and look at what's left of her Seca II. "Wipeout?", 
I ask.
"No, a worthless trucker. Damn! I just bought this bike."
Boy is staring out her intently.
"Are you o.k.? Looks like this guy could have wasted you."
"Sure, sure. I'm o.k. The asshole probably thought on these back roads he 
could get away with this crap. Can you give me a lift?"
I give her one of my toothy grins, the one that shows my abnormally pointy 
incisors.
"I'll do better than that, I'll find the bastard and have Boy take care of him."
I look down and see Boy is still staring. "Boy that's rude."
Boy snaps out of his revere and says, "I did not mean to be impertinent 
but...you look amazingly like Velma from Scooby Doo."
"I DO NOT!"
"Yes you.."
"Shut up Boy and get in the car.", I say and soon we're off.

"Boy, which way did he go and how far off track will it take us to catch the 
piece of crap."
"2 hours at the most north on route 240." The woman in back looks askance 
at Boy. "How do you know?"
I laugh. "Don't worry he knows."

Two hours later the back of a truck comes into view. "That it lady?"
"Oh shit!, it sure is.", she says in amazement.
I punch the accelerator until the car pulls up along the side of the cab. 
I stick my head out of the window and call out to him over my car roof.
"Hey, hey sir! You owe this lady an apology." He looks a the woman hanging 
out of the back window and laughs. 
He gobs a big tobacco loogy onto the hood of my car.
He curses at me.
I pull my head back in and look at Boy. "Boy, wave good by to the nice man."
I hold on to the seat of Boy's pants as he leans out and waves. 
Then he touches the side of the truck. Then the truck disappears.
"What the...", her head keeps flipping back and forth between looking at 
Boy and looking through the rear window. "What happened? Where'd he go?"
"I made him real small.", Boy says. 
Well, that's not really correct. He made the truck real small. The driver,
however, stayed big; which means we don't really want to go back and 
look at the aftermath.

We let her out at the next town. She didn't seem to want to stick around.

We hit the Canyon. It doesn't look like we're even on the same planet any more.
"Everything here is real pointy.", I say. 
"That's a very Zen observation."
After that Boy seems entranced with the view and then he looks up at me and 
says,"Why are we here?"
I look around so that my gaze can encompass all the natural beauty that 
surrounds us.
"I thought here would be as good as any to be big."
Boy continues to look at me and then squints into the setting sun. 
"You want to be big?"
"Yeah Boy. I want to be big."
"Then look into my eyes."

I look into his eyes and feel my chest expand and my feet crumble the ground. 
My arms flail out as I try and catch my balance and I clear acres of canyon. 
My legs stretch and I my head strikes the sky. I shake the clouds from my 
face, reach up and through the sky over my shoulder. I am Big. 
Space frosts my hair with ice and I howl at the moon, then suck it 
through a space in my teeth. It is a light snack.
I am cold. I will drink the plasma of the Sun to warm my stomach.
I am Big, now it's dark and I am tired.
I gather the stars for my pillow and get ready for sleep.
God short sheets my bed.
God says, "Get out asshole."
I crash to Earth a burning glob of ignorance.

I open my eyes and see Boy standing over me.
"So how was it?"
"It was the Big time."

--
"So I'm minding my own business...no, really. | ...uunet!canetoad!grendel
 And I see him, the HIM in big impressive     | canetoad!grendel@uunet.uu.net
 letters. And he owns me, I mean the way      |
 pigeons own N.Y...damn I'm had again."       |