From: chris@unicorn.resun.com (Chris Von Hendy)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Hello everyone!
Date: 5 Sep 92 19:10:49 GMT
Reply-To: chris@unicorn.resun.com
Distribution: na
Organization: Metalogic, S.a r.l.
X-Mailer: uAccess - Macintosh Release: 1.5v3


In article <185lmvINN4nk@smaug.West.Sun.COM> (soc.bi), lorico@boomboom.Eng.Sun.COM (Lori Cotton) writes:
> In article <la4siqINN8ff@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> fishnets@soulsteppin.Corp.Sun.COM (Spanky) writes:
> >
> >
> ><big breath>
> >
> >Hello!
> >
> Hi Emily!
> 
> >After reading soc.bi for a coupla months now, I decided that it was time
> >to take the plunge and de-muffin.  Everyone here seems like an extremely
> >nice group of people, and I wanted to get in on all the hugs ;^) 
> >
> 
> I've noticed everyone here is extremely nice too and I want to get in
> on the hugs too, so I guess I'm de-muffining too!  (Phew, that wasn't
> so bad I guess :^)  )

Big hugs and welcome to both of you.
>     
> >I just recently came out to my dearest love, and boy, what a relief!
> >

This can be difficult, can't it.  You never know how they will react. 
I've always tried to be up front and honest with the people I love, but
it has not always been easy.
> 
> girlfriend my husband decides to get angry with the situation.  He 
> unfortunately started drinking heavily and our arguments started getting
> more violent.  I just recently left him and moved in with my SO, Stacy.
> I'm happier than I've ever been and my daughter is too.  (Being a five
> year old she understood the tension in the house and is relieved that it's 
> over and loves Stacy to death!)
> 
> Because this happened recently, I still feel really guilty about leaving
> my husband (he had to move back in with his mother, he's 25, I'm 29 and
> the bread winner).  I guess sometimes when I put my happiness in front
> of others I feel bad.  Anyone out there have any kind words or hugs, or
> anything else they want to give me ;^)

You did not put your happiness in front of anyone.  You did what you
had to for the sake of your mental health, your child, and believe it
or not, his mental health.  I know how painful it can be to have to
break off a relationship because it just is not working.  I did not
even have the fact that our arguments were violent to use as an excuse
for breaking it off.  Just the fact that both of us were tense and
miserable with each other.  Neither of us could be what the other
really wanted in a spouse.  He could not handle the fact that I need an
open relationship and I could not deal with making all the decisions
for the household.  The pain would only get worse, so I stopped it.
It was the smartest thing I ever did, for both of us.  He went off and
found a woman who was everything I could not be, and they have been
happily married for the past nine years.  I was able to move into a
relationship that filled my needs with a SO who loves, not only me but
all that I am.  
> 
> Thanx for listening!

No problem. :-)  And a second big hug.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris Von Hendy            "If we shadows have offended,
Escondido, California       Think but this, and all is mended,
ncr-sd!blkhole!chris  or    That you have but slumbered here,
chris@unicorn.resun.com     While these visions did appear." Puck