HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: Honesty, Your word, and Trust -- a crisis?
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 13:52:32 GMT

In article <ewright.728090833@convex.convex.com> ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:
>In <MARTINC.93Jan25233544@grover.cs.unc.edu> martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>
>>The part that seemed reminiscient of someone in particular is the part
>>where they (1) over-literalized (2) transformed your statement into a
>>crisp black-and-white statement (3) realized that wasn't precisely what
>>you meant, 
>
>So, Charlie, do you *ever* say what you mean, or mean what you say?
>
>And just what did you mean by this post, anyway?  
>
 
Its pretty damn obvious what he said. Right on target too.
You know it or you wouldn't have responded but in the lifestyle of
beating a dead horse here we go again.

 
================================================================================
 Steatopygias's 'R' Us.          doh#0000000005 That ain't no Hottentot.
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. AMA#669373 DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 21:34:39 EST
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Credibility...
 <ewright.727573793@convex.convex.com> <1993Jan21.081657.8326@netcom.com>
 <ewright.727732668@convex.convex.com>

In article <ewright.727732668@convex.convex.com>, ewright@convex.com (Edward V.
Wright) says:
>
>Oh?  But you discount others' experiences all the time.  Anyone
>who does not believe your bald claim that it's easy for anyone,
>no matter what they look like, to find someone of the opposite
>sex who finds them attractive, is called a liar.
>

In the interest of being horribly cheerful and optimistic, 'attractive'
is a neccesary but not sufficent condition.

I'm reasonably attractive on the basis of past opinion expressed by
instances of the female population I considered attractive, so I ought
to be fine.

Problem is, the general consensus would appear to be that I'm about
as pleasant a prospect for a long term relationship as, say, joining
a team that trains religiously for skink purree chugging contents.

All of the things that this lack of interest appears to be sourced in
are things I can't do much, or anything, about, so I have a limited
number of options.

I could become catestrophically morose - this doesn't seem to be helpful.

I could delude myself that I'll someday find the perfect woman - I'm not
that good at self delusion.

I can keep looking, but not try to plan my life on the assumption that
I'll find someone - seems sensible.

I can not base my self worth on things like my degree of romantic
involvement or reproductive potential.  This is *very* useful, because
the former leads into option 1 up there *very* fast and the latter
leads straight into an abused child's attitudes about what being a kid
is like.


I suspect many of the people on the net asserting happiness at being
single are, very much as I am, making the best of a short list of options.

However, I think there is good evidence for belief systems that allow
people to value _something_ more than they would value even being
for their own self loved by another above all things.  How lasting those
belief systems are is another good question - Trygve's valuation of
his free time may indeed be such at this time, and quite different when
he's 30 or 40.

Graydon, who's decided to value what he knows he can get above something
        of a finite, but not measureably large, probability.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
saundrsg@               "Praise then Darkness and Creation unfinished"
   qucdn.queensu.ca                   - U. K. LeGuin
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: sitar@oosik.sprl.umich.edu (Robert J. Sitar)
Subject: Re: Honesty, Your word, and Trust -- a crisis?
Reply-To: sitar@pitts.sprl.umich.edu
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 21:54:12 GMT

In article <1993Jan22.202821.29542@infodev.cam.ac.uk>  
gdb15@grebe.cl.cam.ac.uk (Guy Barry) writes:
> In article <JMD.93Jan22123711@lion.bear.com> jmd@bear.com (Josh Diamond)  
writes:
> >
> >I think that the way to do something about this is to just go ahead
> >and break with precedent -- create a present which is completely
> >different from the past.  Go ahead and trust -- creating an
> >environment where the people you meet understand that their word means
> >something -- and that you will not stand for broken agreements.
> >And be honest -- creating trust in those around you.  And above all
> >else, trust yourself, and be honest with yourself.
> 
> Fine words, but what if no one else is willing to do the same?

That's their choice.  I think the operative words are "creating an  
environment...".  I will admit that there may be some danger in doing  
this,  but if you are going to succeed, you're going to have to take some  
chances.  


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: gdb15@grebe.cl.cam.ac.uk (Guy Barry)
Subject: Re: *How* did you meet your SO (And do they know?)
Reply-To: gdb15@cl.cam.ac.uk
Organization: U of Cambridge Computer Lab, UK
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 15:36:28 GMT

In article <1jmc6bINNs1h@lynx.unm.edu> blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes:
>In article <1993Jan21.113151.16829@infodev.cam.ac.uk> gdb15@cl.cam.ac.uk writes:
>>>>>"We met at nine..." "we met at eight..." "I was on time..." "no, you
>>>>>were late..." "Ah yes, I remember it well."
>>>>For the totally clueless out there, this is from _Gigi_.
>>>And for those under 30, "Gigi" was a broadway musical from long back. :)
>>I'm under 30, and I posted the original quote.  Doesn't anyone listen
>>to any decent music any more?
>Yeah, we do, that's why we had to tell people where the quote was from.

Ha bloody ha.  Someone who'd like to see all decent songwriting consigned
to oblivion, no doubt.



--
Guy Barry, University of Cambridge | Phone: +44 (0)223 334757 
Computer Laboratory                | Fax: +44 (0)223 334678
New Museums Site, Pembroke Street  | JANET: Guy.Barry@uk.ac.cam.cl 
Cambridge CB2 3QG, England, UK     | Internet: Guy.Barry@cl.cam.ac.uk 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright)
Subject: Re: Credibility and Trueness
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 03:27:41 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <1993Jan24.001651.1625@sol.UVic.CA> atovorni@engr.UVic.CA (dreas) writes:

>We MUST get into some Ed history here. He has on occasion admitted to
>never having had a relationship. How does he know what a relationship 
>would be like?

Oh?  Really?  Strange, I don't remember "admitting" that.  Nor can I
imagine why I would "admit" something that's not true.

I may have said something along the lines of "The longest relationship
I've ever had a relationship lasted all of four dates."  I don't see how 
you could equate that with "never having had a relationship" unless you
graduated from the Charlie Martin School of Mathematics.


>The trouble is that people blame themselves for things that go
>wrong in their lives, 

Which is sometimes justified and sometimes not.  Unfortunately,
some people, such as Charlie Martin, have accepted the idea that
anything which makes them unhappy is somehow their fault.  Which 
is probably why Charlie, when not reinventing logic and mathematics,
is busy having his head shrunk.


>It takes a considerable amount of working on yourself emotionally.
>I don't claim to be an expert at being content all the time, but I
>must admit that I am content and at peace with myself more of the 
>time than I was, say, five years ago.

The problem with being content is that it ensures you will never
achieve anything more than what you've already got.  Change requires
some effort, and summoning that effort requires some level of discontent.
You just have to be content with that. ;-)

Discontent can, however, rise to the level where it paralyzes you.
To prevent this, it is important to recognize the fact that you may
fail, at least temporarily.  As Dirty Harry said, "A man's got to
know his limitations."


>It's more like pulling a bulldozer up a 15% grade than throwing a switch.
>If it were as easy as throwing a switch, then we'd all be very much at
>peace, AND drugs are not the answer.

If all you want to achieve is mindless contentedness, drugs
probably are the answer.


>If you help somebody by doing a good deed, you feel good about having
>done the deed. The person you do the deed for appreciates it when you
>give of yourself to help them. The loneliness in your mind is not
>gone, but it's diminished to an extent. 

Maybe for you.  For me, it takes someone whose apprecation goes
beyond what he or she can "get out" of me.  It's one thing for
someone to be pleased that I do something; it's another to be
pleased that *I* do it.





Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: rna@leland.Stanford.EDU (Robert Ashcroft)
Subject: Re: Flirting How To Guide/Backrubs
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 93 06:46:13 GMT

In article <C1ByvC.Cxp@CAM.ORG> souchay@CAM.ORG (Francois Souchay) writes:
>In article <1993Jan23.155401.8134@netcom.com> aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine) writes:
>
>>Please note that in my original article, I said the following:
>>"Would you like your feet rubbed?"  At this point, if she's completely
>>uninterested, and doesn't offer any alternative, you're probably better
>>off finding someone else (assuming your taste in physical contact is
>>similar to mine).
>
>Hear, hear. I gotta say I fully agree with Aahz on this one. The backrub
>criterion does help to sort out the folks who want/need massage from those
>that don't. Robert prefers to avoid them ( from what I can tell ), so he'd
>rather choose someone who feels the same way.

Huh?  I don't like spinach much either.  Does this mean I avoid those who do?
Tell me: I'm dying to know what my preferences are, since you seem to know
so much more about me that I do.

I think you're a little out of your depth, deciding my SO preferences for me.

So, am I a spinach-lover hater?

RNA
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Flirting How To Guide/Backrubs
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 08:26:42 GMT

In article <JULIE.93Jan25184327@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu> julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright) writes:
>
>Well, Trygve, you make a very valid point here.  After all, it's clear
>that those of us who don't like backrubs are physically unaffectionate,
>sexually disfunctional, cold-hearted, and generally no fun at all.  The
>rest of you should stay well away from us out of fear of our lack of
>mental stability and ability to care about others.  Besides, you might
>never get laid with someone who didn't get into activities involving
>lying still.
>
>Tee hee hee.  

But, darling, backrubs are so much fun if they're done right--I've 
massaged one woman out of migraine headaches and have found that some
areas of the back are especially sensitive and can be used to bring
someone to climax, after which they do, I must admit, often have 
trouble continuing to lie still, so the backrub usually segues into
a front rub or who knows what else.  (Personally, I'd definitely 
prefer someone who didn't mind giving backrubs--I could especially 
use a bit of massage after working my trapezius, deltoids, and pecs
until they feel like you could cook food on them.)

Trygve   (Of course, someone could always have other redeeming 
          characteristics that could help make up for a lack of
          fondness for backrubs--poetry-writing skills or a deep
          appreciation of lemurs, for example--but she'd still
          have to be willing to put up with face and scalp 
          massage and foot rubs, at least occasionally.)
--
"'Somewhere in this cemetary, the vampyre lies hidden,' the
grave-looking man with the stake said cryptically."
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: Credibility and Trueness
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 23:41:48 GMT

In article <1993Jan25.202114.1328@netcom.com> barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry) writes:
>In article <ewright.727981082@convex.convex.com> ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:
>>In <1993Jan25.051224.25468@netcom.com> barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry) writes:
>>>	Seems Charlie owes me a sheepskin. Ed, here's your clue: 4 dates
>>>does not constitute a relationship, 
>>
>>The dictionary defines relationship as follows: a romantic or 
>>passionate attachment.  No mention of time.
>
>	So go beat off with a dictionary. Any normal human being could
>probably figure out for himself that there's a qualitative difference
>between going out with someone 4 times, and having a major involvement.
>And if he couldn't, having that fact confirmed for him by more
>experienced parties should do the trick.
>
>>You shouldn't try using big words like that unless you know
>>what they mean.
>
>	Ed, go fuck yourself; no one else will.
>
>						Kayembee

 
================================================================================
 Steatopygias's 'R' Us.          doh#0000000005 That ain't no Hottentot.
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. AMA#669373 DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: adam@wam.umd.edu (Adam L. Greenberg)
Subject: Re: Flirting How To Guide posters, readme please!
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 21:39:35 GMT

In article <1993Jan20.223303.13882@bsu-ucs> 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a pause.) writes:
>

Can someone post the original or mail it to me?

adam@wam.umd.edu -- another Jewish guy...
From: danb@zx.qsp.UUCP (Daniel Benbenisty)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: *How* did you meet your SO (And do they know?)
Date: 27 Jan 93 21:02:30 GMT
Organization: Quality Software Products, LA, CA

In article <1993Jan21.113151.16829@infodev.cam.ac.uk> gdb15@cl.cam.ac.uk writes:
>I'm under 30, and I posted the original quote.  Doesn't anyone listen
>to any decent music any more?

<WARNING - OFF THE SUBJECT>

I will heartily agree that almost all the new music you hear on the radio
today is pure crap, and lacking in originality.  However, it is also true that 
most of the stuff you might have listened to on the radio 15-40 years ago was 
pure crap, and lacking in originality.

The only difference is that you mostly listen to the 'best' stuff from the 
'old days' nowadays - the music that (presumably) by dint of its integrity 
has survived to get more airplay in proportion to its peer music than it 
used to.  If you were not aware of this, you would naturally conclude that 
older music was proportionally 'better.' What you should be aware of is that 
most of popular music you hear now, which is designed for quick consumption 
rather than for staying power, won't be heard by people 20 years from now; 
these people of the future may conclude (as you do now) that music from the 
1990's was superior to music from the 2010's, and so on down the corridors 
of time...

I mostly listen to music from 1700-1850, myself.  Beethoven's my favorite.

>>>===Pan-Handle-Dan===>	danb@qsp.com
Daniel Benbenisty		Guitarist for EARWURM		
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: Second Date
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 03:19:41 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <16652@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:

>You go out to a dinner and a movie.  Afterwords you go back to your
>place and have really great sex.  In the morning you get up, shower
>together and then go out to breakfast.  The question is:  Who pays
>for breakfast?

If it was really great sex, you both forget about the food and the
fact that there was even a waiter and a restaurant, and you wander
out to the car and forget to even pay.  Unless the excited waiter
accosts you, in which case it's whoever has their wallet handiest.

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"Shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have all of this,
 and, passionate kisses, passionate kisses, passionate kisses, from you?"
- "Passionate Kisses" Lucinda Williams
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: ISObabe
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 07:53:24 GMT

In article <C1HLpD.4B2@panix.com> sethb@panix.com (Seth Breidbart) writes:
>Dreas has been posting about meeting an ISObabe.  Since I missed the
>definition of that term, I'll suggest several (number 3 is my personal
>favorite).
>
>1. [standards] Someone who meets the International Standards
>Organizations specifications for babeitude.
>
>2. [personals] Someone In Search Of a babe.  (This is unlikely; this
>meaning might describe Dreas, not the person he's writing about.)
>
>3. [chemistry] Someone who is just like a babe, except twisted.

Hmmmm...I'd always assumed it was

4. [math] Someone with whom one could have a relationship that is
   both onto and into.

Trygve 
--
How many commutative groups are there?
Abelian!
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: La Biere(was: could be worse)
Date: 25 Jan 93 10:50:24
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
	<MARTINC.93Jan23131855@grover.cs.unc.edu>
	<1993Jan25.143437.18809@cbnewsd.cb.att.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: grover.cs.unc.edu
In-reply-to: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com's message of Mon, 25 Jan 1993 14:34:37 GMT

In article <1993Jan25.143437.18809@cbnewsd.cb.att.com> nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci) writes:

   >Czech it out, Dreas.
   >   It is brewed at the Pilzenski Prazdroj in Pilzn(or Pilzen, both are OK).
   >I thought it was (even worse) Plzn.

   Jeeze.  You're all wrong.  The Czechs refer to Pilsen as Plzen.  The "n" is
   pronounced like the Spanish n with a tilda, and the Pl together are
   pronounced like "pull" ....  so it's "pull-zay-nyuh" only cut
   that to two syllables.

   Or forget it.  Go get "Fast and Easy Czech"  (comes with a casette)

Fast and easy Czechs are some of my favorite people.
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Anonymous Postings
Date: 21 Jan 93 09:58:14
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
NNTP-Posting-Host: grover.cs.unc.edu
In-reply-to: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA's message of Thu, 21 Jan 93 04:41:15 GMT

In article <1993Jan21.044115.21761@sol.UVic.CA> atovorni@engr.UVic.CA (Die Fledermaus) writes:

   We have to vote on this one, folks.

   Do you want to see anonymous postings in this newsgroup?
   I am in contact with the sysadmin for the anon.service

   A simple "yea" or "nay" via email to me will do.

   "Yea" means you want to see them and "nay" means you don't.
   This time, I hope I'm being clear to all of you. </.Q

Right procedure, wrong question.  I don't care about anonymous postings
-- although I think posting anonymously is for wusses -- I just don't
want soc.singles taken over by "MAM looking for SAF geisha with own
shamisen". 

--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Could be worse (was: Re: Upper Midwest
Date: 21 Jan 93 11:15:44
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
	<MARTINC.93Jan20235409@grover.cs.unc.edu> <lltfktINN81p@news.bbn.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: grover.cs.unc.edu
In-reply-to: dhardin@bbn.com's message of 21 Jan 1993 15:17:49 GMT

In article <lltfktINN81p@news.bbn.com> dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:

   In article <MARTINC.93Jan20235409@grover.cs.unc.edu> martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
   >
   >I just tend real strongly to be a top.

   I knew there was a reason I liked you.

So sneak away for a wild weekend.  I'm just about to set up my waterbed
again.... 
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 21:24:45 EST
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Trygve's shower
 <lm0sdmINN7rv@news.bbn.com> <1993Jan23.060520.17722@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
 <9009@news.duke.edu>

In article <9009@news.duke.edu>, diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) says:
>
>>Trygve   [flaunting sybaritic bathing facilities in planning]
>
>Oh, my.
>
>I happen to have a weakness for well-designed bathing areas.  When you
>get it finished, let me know if you need someone to help scrub your
>back.
>
>                        --Diamond (I hope that one part of the 'other
>                                   stuff' doesn't turn out to be
>                                   a robotic back-scrubber).

Permit me to opine that a back scrub, applied with feeling and
malice aforethought, is inherently superior in kind and quality
to any probable mechanical contrivance used for the task.

'course, I just gave Trygve an oppourtunity to have _really_
odd tastes in public, so who knows what will happen.

Graydon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
saundrsg@               "Praise then Darkness and Creation unfinished"
   qucdn.queensu.ca                   - U. K. LeGuin
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Regarding Lauren's Valentine's Day Personal Ad...
Date: 26 Jan 93 15:48:04 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

phantasm@iastate.edu writes:

>What I do in my spare time:
> 
>  I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing
>ice.  I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch
>breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.
>I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning
>operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for
>three days in a row.  .....

phantasm, I'm glad that you took my advice and posted some more personal
stuff about yourself.

Apropos to the subject, here is my favorite Cathy cartoon:

<Cathy collapsed in front of the TV> "I got a few things done today. I
deserve a nice rest anywhere I want."

<TV> "Tonight's story is about <female name>, who launched a 3 million
dollar greeting card company in her spare time between remodeling her
husband's doctor's office, raising 3 bilingual children, and hand-knitting
sweaters for local charities."

<Cathy leaps up and attacks the TV, then collapses on the floor> "Nothing
gets me moving like a good role model."

--
Stef                   To see which way the tides are flowing, you have 
stef@apple.com         to feel the tea leaves.
                                          --New-age cliche hall of fame