From: "ron kulick" <ron.kulick@execnet.com>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: christian joke
Date: 9 Sep 92 21:24:32 EST
Reply-To: "ron kulick" <ron.kulick@execnet.com>
Distribution: rec
Organization: Executive Networks Information

             In article <1992Aug31.172252.3908@island.COM>
                         MIKE FESTER writes...

MF>He said "I don't understand it. That always used to work for Me".
MF>Peter turned to Jesus and said, "Lord, I think I see the problem.
MF>It's these holes in your feet"

MF>Disgusting, isn't it? Does anyone else encounter filth like this?
MF>Post it, that we might all smite it with our Holy flames.

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At Timecon '91 in San Jose, CA, John Levene ("Doctor Who"'s Sgt. Benton)
told the following story.  He claimed it was true.  {ed Yeah, right.}

John was staying in Sicily for a few weeks, and rather than live in a
hotel, he was staying with a Sicilian family.  Now, he'd heard about
Sicily and the mafia, and he said it was kind of rough, but you got used
to it.

Anyways, the family he was staying with had a small boy, who came up to
John while he was reading a book.  The boy said "Mr. John, Mr. John, I
just wanted to tell you that I've always liked London, and for years
I've dreamed of owning a Raleigh 10-speed bicycle" (John is British,
Welsh, or something silly like that).  John looked at the little boy and
said "well, have you ever thought of writing Father Christmas for it?".
The little boy immediately responded "oh yes!  I've written him every
year for the past eight years, and I never got one!".

At this point, John said "well, you might try going a step higher -
write a letter to Jesus".  The little boy got a smile on his face and
said "oh yes, that's a good idea.  I'll do it right now", and he sat
down at his desk, pulled out a piece of paper and started writing.  John
went back to his book, but he kept watching the boy out of one eye.  The
boy started his letter.

 "Dear Jesus, all of my life I've wanted a Raleigh 10-speed
  bicycle."

He stopped writing at this point, crumpled the piece of paper up, and
threw it into the fireplace.  After a minute, he pulled out another
piece of paper and started writing again.

 "Dear Jesus, I would love to have a Raleigh 10-speed bicycle."

Again, he stopped, crumpled the paper up, and threw it in the fireplace.
Now John was getting interested.  The boy sat there thinking for a
minute, and then he got up and walked over to the mantel.  It's sort of
an Italian/Sicilian tradition to have an icon of the Madonna on your
fireplace mantel, and this family had one - white, about 8 inches high.
The boy walked over to the mantel and very gently took the Madonna down
and carried it back to the desk.  He took a white towel, wrapped the
icon very carefully in the towel and laid it down on the desk.  He then
got up and walked back to the mantel, where he removed a brick from the
fireplace and pulled a key out from behind it.  Throughout this, John
was watching, somewhat bemused.  The boy put the brick back and returned
to the desk, where he unlocked a small drawer that John hadn't even
noticed.  He got out another white towel and laid it in the drawer, and
he then laid the wrapped Madonna in the second towel, closed up the
towel, shut the drawer, locked it, and returned the key to its hiding
place.  He then walked back to the desk, sat down, pulled out a third
piece of paper, and started writing again.

 "Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again..."

               Jim
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