From: fred_s@earwax.pei.com (Fred Scott)
Subject: EIA: Nutshell News #9
Organization: Nerds On Parade
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 02:11:17 GMT

Apologies to all and sundry for the delay in broadcasting which caused quite
a buildup of "back logs", so to speak.

However, the seemingly endless chores of putting the government in order
around the Palace here have been without letup for months since we finally
disposed of that pretender.

There's friends and cronies to be reinstated in office, corruption to
reinstitutionalize, and land counter-reform to be seen about.  Talleyrand and
I just cannot agree about how much power a state minister should have.  (Is
it normal for one to such intiment access to the queen that late at night?)
And I was detained in the antechamber for a short while by some of the imperial
guard playing keep away with the crown.  It seems they're a bit miffed about
not actually having an emporer to guard anymore.  (Apparently "Royal Guard"
just doesn't do it for them.  "It's faggy", they said.)

When I think about it, this isn't at all like what Mr. Pitt said it would be -
I was *supposed* to be the boss around here...

In any case, the following represents the last five logs from the South San
Fransisco Empires in Arms Society, comprising four Wednesday night sessions
(the last a week early due to an indvertent marriage by the Austrian Emporer)
plus one special Saturday session.  Our scribe is Ken Fishkin, the Spanish
King and the most measly of the hated "Gang of Five".  I'll try to keep my
comments brief at the end, owing to the length of the post.

signed,

Fred Scott, a.k.a. Louis XLVI (d'johnny-come-lately) of France
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Ken's EIA log, 8/1811 - 11/1811...session played 7-8 - fhs)

Chapter XV, "Sex, lies, and Austria"

STATUS QUO ANTE
Russia is at war with Austria. All other countries are at peace.

AUGUST 1811

Furious over Austria's refusal to aid them in April, Prussia [-3 PP]
    DOWs on Austria.

Austria sues for peace with Russia. Russia demands unconditional
    terms, which Austria rejects.

Prussian siege of Theresienstadt: no effect.
Prussian siege of Krakow: breach. 10,000 Austrian militia POW.

An elite force of 10,000 Austrians (6,000 Guard, 4,000 Cavalry) confidently
    storms Zurich, defended by 8,000 Russian peasant militia.  To everyone's
    surprise, the militia repulses the assault: 4,000 militia die, but so do
    2,000 Austrian cavalry.

The Franco-British "phony war" becomes a bit less phony, as France moves into
    Holland. The British garrison defending Amsterdam, lulled by years of
    complacency, surrenders without firing a shot.  18,000 British infantry
    POW.

The main French army moves east into Austria. Russian and Turkish stores
    report runs on asprin.

SEPTEMBER 1811

Peace-loving Austria offers to surrender to both Prussia and Russia. Both
    hold out for unconditional terms, which Austria rejects.

The Prussians capture Koniggratz, scooping up 2,000 Austrian infantry as POWs.

The Prussians steamroll over the 4,000 man garrison at Brunn: the garrison
    is able to report the composition of the attackers (64,000 infantry,
    14,000 cavalry) before they are overwhelmed.

Another unwary cossack is slaughtered at Vienna, by a force of 54,000
    Austrians.

Prussia [+1 PP] conquers the Palatinate from Austria [-1 PP].

France [+1 PP] conquers Holland from the UK [-1 PP].

The main French army moves further east into Austria. Russian and Turkish
    stores report runs on pepto-bismol.

OCTOBER 1811

Once again, Austria sues to Prussia and Russia. Once again, the bloodthirsty
    Prussians and Russians demand unconditional terms. Once again, Austria
    declines the terms.

An Austrian force of 72,000 under Charles attacks a Prussian force of 78,000
    under Brunswick. When Charles decides to "Echelon" into the Prussian
    "Cordon", things look bleak for the Austrian side.  Superior morale,
    however, tells the tale, as the Prussians break in the 3rd round.
    20,000 Prussians die (2,000 cavalry). 22,000 Austrians die, but they hold
    the field. Austria +1 PP, Prussia -1 PP.

The main Prussian army, under Hohenloe, counterattacks the weakened Austrian
    force.  Charles is able to Withdraw, averting certain disaster for the
    Austrian side.

The main French army moves further east into Austria. Russian and Turkish
    stores report runs on qualudes.

NOVEMBER 1811

Once again, the peace-loving Austrians sue for peace with Prussia and Russia.
    The Prussian and Russian rulers, after intensive negotation with their
    Austrian ambassadors, both agree to Conditional surrenders.  The Austrian
    emperor regretfully informs them that his overzealous ambassadors
    overstepped their bounds, as he prohibits both rulers from taking Austrian
    home nation provinces.  The infuriated Czar settles for a royal marriage
    [Russia +2 PP], and Reparations.  Prussia takes Venice, and a long peace.
    Prussia +3 PP, Russia +3 PP, Austria -5 PP.

The main French army moves west: the Russian and Turkish stock exchanges
    gain 150 points in heavy trading.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Ken's EIA log, 12/1811 - 10/1812...session played 7-22 - fhs)

Chapter XVI, "Zzzzzzzzz"

STATUS QUO ANTE
Except for the Anglo-French "phony war", all countries are at peace.

DECEMBER 1811

Nothing happens

JANUARY 1812

Nothing happens

FEBRUARY 1812

Nothing happens

MARCH 1812

Nothing happens

APRIL 1812

Prussia [+1 PP] allies with Russia [+1 PP]

MAY 1812

Nothing happens

JUNE 1812

Nothing happens

JULY 1812

Austria [-1 PP] DOWs on Corsica, run by slothful Spain [+1 PP].

AUGUST 1812

Austria [+1 PP] conquers Corsica from Spain [-1 PP].
Prussia [-1 PP] forces access from France in order to run some troops home.

SEPTEMBER 1812

Nothing happens

OCTOBER 1812

Nothing happens

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Ken's EIA log, 11/1812 - 8/1813...special Saturday seesion, played 8-15 - fhs)

Chapter XVII, "The Gang of 5"

STATUS QUO ANTE

Except for the Anglo-French "phony war", all countries are at peace.

NOVEMBER 1812

Nothing happens

DECEMBER 1812

Nothing happens

JANUARY 1813

Nothing happens

FEBRUARY 1813

Overwhelemed by ennui, King Carlos of Spain declares war on his game-long
    ally Turkey. King Carlos' only explanation is that he was outraged by
    the behavior of the Moroccan runners in the recent Barcelona Olympics.
    The fact that Morocco is presently a Spanish possession somehow had not
    prevented him from blaming this on the Sultan. Spain -5PP, as the
    alliance is broken.

After intense diplomatic discussions, Turkey decides to call no allies:
    there are worse wars to fight than a 1-on-1 war with Spain.

Austria [+1 PP] and Prussia [+1 PP] ally, vowing to put the unpleasantness
    of recent months behind them.

Prussia pays an exorbitant ransom [-7 PP] to restore Blucher to command.

Spain lands an expeditionary force in Naples: their first assault is
    ineffective.

MARCH 1813

Nothing happens, as Spain decides to await more reinforcements before
    assaulting Naples.

APRIL 1813

The Second Great Anti-French Counter-revolutionary coalition is formed, as
    Russia, Prussia, and Austria all declare war on France, joining England.
    These 4, with their partner in crime Spain, are dubbed "The Gang of 5"
    by the jeering French press.  Russia [-5 PP], breaking an alliance.
    Prussia [-4 PP], breaking a royal marriage.  Austria [-6 PP], breaking
    an alliance and a marriage.

Austria [+1 PP] and Russia [+1 PP] ally, vowing to put the unpleasantness
    unpleasantness behind them.

Austria [+1 PP] and UK [+1 PP] ally, vowing to put the unpleasantness
    unpleasantness behind them.

An assault of Naples pits 58,000 screaming Spaniards against 40,000 heathen
    Turks. The Spanish screaming, unfortunately, has rendered their commanders
    hoarse: while they inflict 24,000 casaulties against 12,000 of their own,
    they are unable to exploit the breach, and retreat in disorder. The Sultan
    thanks King Carlos for doing him the favor of attacking him: Turkey +1 PP.

The Gang of 5 fails to break in to Erfurt.

A (relatively) small French force led by Massena puonces on a smaller
    Prusso-Russian force led by Barclay. The 90,000 French "Assault", while
    the 50,000 defenders attempt to "Withdraw" without success. 32,000
    defenders are slaughtered trying to free, while the French attackers
    lose not a single man. France +1 PP, Prussia -1 PP, Russia -1 PP.

MAY 1813

Disgusted by the recent Prussian reverses, a number of Prussian satellite
    states revolt: Palatinate, Kleves, Mecklenburg, and Venezia all throw
    off their Prussian shackles.

An immense British-Russian fleet of 196 ships dares to run the mighty guns
    of Toulon. The port guns sink 14 ships. The 182 survivors press home
    the attack, sinking 27 French ships. The 22 remaining French ships sink
    a measly 4 attackers. The final casaulties are: 27 French, 14 English,
    3 Russian, and 1 Swedish ship sunk. France -2 PP, UK +3 PP, and
    Russia +2 PP (this after a long discussion in which we decide that the
    Nelson bonus does not apply to allies).  (fhs - This point was decided by
    die roll, *not* mutual agreement.  The English commandeer was quite adamant
    that Nelson's (also Napoleans's) bonus should apply to allied PPs as well
    as England's (France's for Nappy).  I felt just as strongly that the
    opposite was true.)

The Spanish again breach Naples: 10,000 POW to Spain.

JUNE 1813

France scuttles the remaining fleet in Toulon, rather than see England/Russia
    gain yet more glory. France -1 PP.

Many small assaults are launched by the gang of 5:
Assaults of Montpelier, Turin, Milan, Erfurt, Bordeaux, La Rochelle,
    and Hanover are all ineffective.
A breach at Mareilles: 20,000 English infantry roll over the 2,000 hapless
    French defenders.
A breach at Erfurt: 6,000 French POW to Prussia.
A breach at Kassel: 54,000 coalition troops are repulsed by 30,000 Hessians,
    the attackers losing 10,000 men and the defenders 14,000.
A breach at Hanover: 20,000 Swedes assault 22,000 Hanoverians. The
    assault is repulsed, 6,000 Swedes and 4,000 Hanoverians perishing.

A massive battle at Dresden, as the Gang of 5 attacks La Grand Armee.  The
    attacking coalition musters over 550,000 men: this vast army is,
    amazingly enough, the smaller of the two, as Napoleon brings nearly
    600,000 men into battle. Europe has never seen such a battle! Napoleon
    somehow manages to coordinate all 600,000 men into a vast "cordon"
    defense. He has forgotten, again, the presence of Englishmen in the
    attacking force, as they again commit their allies to a straightforward
    "Assault". Luck favors Napoleon early in the day, but as the day proceeds
    Lady Luck swings to the other side: the French army breaks in the 3rd
    round, and suffers horrific pursuit casaulties. The Gang of 5 loses
    98,000 men, all of them Prussian: by an amazing coincidence, the English
    troops escape without a scratch.  The French lose a staggering 232,000
    men: the vultures of Dresden will feast for many days. Austria, Prussia,
    Russia, and the UK all gain 3 PP: France loses 5 PP.

Spain assaults Taranto, taking 2,000 Turkish POWs.

Spain [+1 PP] conquers Naples from Turkey [-1 PP].

JULY 1813

Seemingly unfazed by last month's battle, Napoleon turns his attention to the
    invasion of Southern France. At La Rochelle, two French corps led by Soult
    pounce on a small leaderless coalition force.  The 72,000 French attackers
    choose "Assault", while the 24,000 defenders desperately choose "Escalated
    Counter-attack". The French easily crush the defense, losing only 2,000
    men, and inflicting 10,000 casaulties.  France +1 PP, Prussia -1 PP,
    Russia -1 PP.

The Spanish invade Crete, taking 2,000 Turkish POWs.

Coalition assaults of Kassel, Minden, Milan, and Turin are fruitless.
    A breach at Flanders results in 2,000 French militia POW to England.
    A breach at Hanover pits 74,000 coalition troops against 18,000
    Hanoverians.  The Hanoverians break in the second round: 12,000 die in
    the battle, 4,000 are packed off as POWs to Russia, and 2,000 to Prussia.

A breach at Minden results in 2,000 French militia POW to Russia.

Turkey [+1 PP] conquers Berg from Spain [-1 PP].
Prussia [+1 PP] conquers the Duchies from France [-1 PP].

AUGUST 1813

Prussia [-1 PP] DOWs on Mecklenburg, run by Turkey [+1 PP].
Austria [-1 PP] DOWs on Venezia, run by Turkey [+1 PP].

The war cools a bit, as Napoleon retreats into central France and the
    coalition slowly pursues. Many small seiges are fought:

Coalition assaults at Turin, Milan, Grenoble, Kassel, and Amsterdam are all
    fruitless.

A breach at Poitiers, as 10,000 Russians roll over the 2,000 defenders.
A breach at Soissons yields 2,000 French militia POW to England.

Prussia [+1 PP] conquers Hanover from France [-1 PP].
Russia [+1 PP] conquers Bavaria from France [-1 PP].
UK [+1 PP] conquers Flanders from France [-1 PP].

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Ken's EIA log, 9/1813 - 10(partial)/1813...session played 8-27 - fhs)

Chapter XVIII, "Hey, whose 'Outflank' chit is this?"

STATUS QUO ANTE
Austria, Prussia, Russia, and the UK are all at war with France, with two
    huge armies advancing into France.  Spain, their "silent partner" is
    performing a public service by attacking Turkey.

SEPTEMBER 1813
Auxiliary coalition forces mop up behind the front lines:
A Prussian seige of Kassel is ineffective.
A Russian/UK assault of Amsterdam pits 48,000 attackers against 12,000
    Hessian defenders. The Hessians are wiped out to a man.
Grenoble falls to Russia: 2,000 French infantry POW to Russia.

In a very important assault, Paris herself is beseiged by a monstrously large
    army. The walls are breached, and the 48,000 French militia pressed into
    the defense of the city surrender without a fight. 12,000 French militia
    POWs to each of Austria, Prussia, Russia, and the UK.

On the French turn, Napoleon comes to the rescue of his beloved capitol.
    Both sides scurry to deploy their armies, in a battle that makes even
    the epic battle of Dresden seem but a skirmish. The coalition generals
    unwisely invite a correspondent from the "Madrid Times" in to their
    deliberations, deliberations which decide to "Outflank" the sinister
    Napoleon. The correspondent from the "Madrid Times" strolls over to
    the French lines, and interviews Napoleon:

Napoleon: "Oui, Monsieur?"
Reporter: "How do you think you'll do against the coalition's Outflank?"

Coalition spies inside Napoleon's camp report this ghastly intelligence
    debacle. After frenzied debate, the generals decide to stick with
    their previously agreed-upon "Outflanking" maneuver.

Napoleon smells a rat: the conniving Spanish must be trying to trick him:
    even a Spaniard isn't stupid enough to reveal such vital information!
    He decides to "Assault" instead.

The battle pits 502,000 French soldiers against 456,000 Coalition soldiers.
    Truly, a battle for the ages, as almost a _million_ soldiers take the
    field. Mother Nature smiles on France, as a driving rainstorm muddies
    the field, wets powder, and further confuses the already difficult
    maneuvering of such enormous armies.  Despite the flawless execution of
    the outflanking manuever by the Austrian and British troops, the first day
    ends without grievous casaulties on either side: weather has robbed the
    coalition of her victory [In other words, both sides had lousy die rolling
    all day long].

On the second day, Napoleon reforms his troops into an "Echelon" attack.
    The Coalition generals decide to "Counter-Attack". Superior French morale
    turns the tide of battle: on sunset of the second day, both sides commit
    their guards! The French guard breaks the coalition troops, while the
    Coalition guard succeeds in slowing down the French pursuit.

The battle ends, with an almost incredible 334,000 total casaulties. France
    has suffered 174,000 to the Coalition 160,000, but has held the field:
    an epic victory for La Belle France. There are so many casaulties that
    even a few English soldiers perish! Austria -2 PP, Russia -3 PP, UK -2 PP,
    Prussia -3 PP, France +4 PP

Prussia [+1 PP] conquers Mecklenburg from Turkey [-1 PP].
Austria [+1 PP] conquers Venezia from Turkey [-1 PP].

OCTOBER 1813
    
France sues for peace with England, Prussia, and Russia: Austria is left out
    in the cold. The 3 all choose unconditional surrenders, and France accepts
    them all, leaving France at war only with Austria.  The 3 attackers all
    choose to remove Napoleon. England also chooses a 3 year peace, and the
    plums of Holland, Hesse, and Lombardy. Russia takes reparations and
    access. Prussia takes a royal marriage, and the vaunted French I corps on
    loan. England +5 PP, Prussia +7 PP, Russia +5 PP, France -8 PP.

Austria, furious at being left alone to face nearly the entire French army,
    demands that England [-2 PP], Prussia [-2 PP], and Russia [-2 PP] break
    their alliances.

France [+1 PP] allies with Prussia [+1 PP].

the session ends in the middle of the reinforcement phase.....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Ken's EIA log, 10(partial)/1813 - 12/1813...session played 9-4 - fhs)

Chapter XIX, "France bounces back"

STATUS QUO ANTE

Austria finds itself alone against a wrathful France, which has just
    surrendered to Prussia, Russia, and the UK.

Spain is slowly advancing into Turkey.

OCTOBER 1813 (cont.)

The French army splits into two, part attacking the nearby Austrians at
    Soissons, and part force-marching all the way from Paris to Grenoble to
    attack the main Austrian army.

At Grenoble, the incredulous Austrians watch as their 10 corps under
    Schwarzenburg are attacked by a mere 2 corps under Soult! More incredibly
    yet, the 2 corps have the nerve to attempt an "Outflank", the same maneuver
    as the main Austrian army. The Austrian army contains 238,000 men to
    82,000 men in the French. After a few hours, however, the French plan
    becomes clear, as a large reinforcing force of 172,000 men streams onto
    the battlefield.  Foreign observers experience deja vu all over again
    as the battle of Marengo is replayed. The befuddled Austrian army breaks,
    losing only 28,000 men, while the victorious French lose 24,000. France
    +3 PP, Austria -3 PP.

At Soissons, the situation appears dire for Austria, as 3 corps under Charles
    is attacked by 8 corps under Massena. Charles cracks under the pressure,
    as he is unable to "withdraw" before the French "Assault".  The savvy
    French only had 112,000 men in the attacking force, which routs the
    74,000 Austrians. Only 4,000 French perish, while nearly 40,000 Austrians
    are slain. France +2 PP, Austria -2 PP.

Even though Napoleon is no longer commanding them, his Marshals have obviusly
    learned well!

The remnant of the northern Austrian army is able to break into Strasburg:
    the 36,000 attackers rout the 14,000 defenders at the loss of only
    2,000 men. A French eagle falls into Austrian hands: a small but
    important victory for Austria, as it keeps them out of Instability.
    Austria +1 PP.

An immense naval maneuver in the Aegan lands 6 Spanish corps at Salonika,
    and 2 at Athens.

The 2,000 valiant defenders of Salonika stand fast.  At Athens, 54,000
    Spaniards assault a defending force of 18,000 Turks.  The defenders hold
    firm, inflicting 4,000 casaulties, even though they lose 8,000 men.
    Turkey +1 PP. The Sultan once again thanks King Carlos for declaring war
    on him.

NOVEMBER 1813

Prussia [-3 PP] DOWs on Austria. Austria decides not to call allies.

UK [-1 PP] DOW on Kleves, run by France [+1 PP].

Austria sues to both Prussia and France. Both demand unconditional surrenders,
    which Austria grants to both. France takes a royal marriage, the provinces
    of Tuscany, Romagna, and Venezia, and access. Prussia takes a long peace,
    no trade with Great Britain, and the Austrian I corps on loan.
    Austria -8 PP, France +7 PP, Prussia +5 PP.

Europe is now at peace, except for the Spanish sideshow in Turkey:

At Athens, the Spaniards once again breach the walls. This time, the 10,000
    defenders are slaughtered by the 50,000 attackers. Spain +1 PP.

At Salonika, the 2,000 defenders hold firm yet again!

At Albania, a solitary Spanish corps obliterates the 2,000 defenders.

DECEMBER 1813

France [-1 PP] DOW on the Palatinate, run by Austria [+1 PP]

Salonika finally falls, but not before detailed reports of Spanish troop
    strength reach the Sultan. The Sultan awards a Unit Commendation
    (posthomous) to the defenders.

The Bosnian feudal corps, in a frenzy of patriotism, force-marches across
    the mountains in winter in order to lay seige to Albania. The seige is
    unsuccessful, and 14,000 Bosnian soldiers die, but the Sultan is
    untroubled: a new class of recruits is aborning!

UK [+1 PP] conquers Kleves from France [-1 PP]
Spain [+1 PP] conquers Berg from Turkey [-1 PP]

ECONMIC INTERPHASE SUMMARY:

Septempber, '11
(nothing interesting - fhs)

December, '11
(nothing interesting - fhs)

March, '12
(nothing interesting - fhs)

June, '12
(nothing interesting - fhs)

September, '12
Prussia [-1 PP] cedes Berg to Spain.

December, '12
(nothing interesting - fhs)

March, '13
(nothing interesting - fhs)

June, '13
(nothing interesting - fhs)

Septempber, '13
(nothing interesting - fhs)

December, '13
(nothing interesting - fhs)

VPs awarded:
NATIONS As of   Jun '11 Sep '11 Dec '11 Mar '12 Jun '12 Sep '12 Dec '12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Austria         200     206     211     217     223     229     236
France          249     262     274     285     296     306     316
Great Britain   182     193     203     213     223     233     243
Prussia         194     199     206     213     221     229     237
Russia          198     206     216     226     236     246     256
Spain           195     203     211     219     227     235     243
Turkey          203     211     219     227     235     243     251

NATIONS As of   Mar '13 Jun '13 Sep '13 Dec '13 Needed  % of Total
------------------------------------------------------------------
Austria         243     250     256     260     341     76.25
France          326     333     341     351     433     81.06
Great Britain   253     268     279     292     395     73.92
Prussia         243     249     255     265     322     82.30
Russia          266     276     284     294     353     83.29
Spain           249     256     263     271     328     82.62
Turkey          259     267     275     283     319     88.71

This after 81.82% of the game, with 8 phases remaining.

POWs:
    Spain: 7 Turkish I

ALLIANCES:
    Austria: Spain
    France:  Prussia, Turkey
    Prussia: France, Russia, Spain, UK
    Russia: Prussia, Spain, Turkey, UK
    Spain: Austria, Prussia, Russia, UK
    Turkey: France, Russia, UK
    UK: Prussia, Russia, Spain, Turkey

MAY NOT ALLY:
    Austria and France: up to 4/1814.
    Austria and Prussia: up to 10/1814.
    Austria and Russia: up to 10/1814.
    Austria and UK: up to 10/1814.
    France and Russia: up to 4/1814.
    Spain and Turkey: up to 2/1814.

ENFORCED PEACE:
    Austria and France: up to 5/1815
    Austria and Prussia: up to 5/1815 (11/1816 for Austria)
    France and Prussia: up to 4/1815
    France and Russia: up to 4/1815
    France and UK: up to 4/1815 (10/1816 for France)
    Russia and Turkey: up to 5/1814 for Turkey

ROYAL MARRIAGES:
    Austria and France
    Austria and Russia
    Austria and UK
    France and Prussia
    France and Spain
    Russia and Spain
    Turkey and UK

CORPS ON LOAN:
    French I corps to Prussia up to 10/1814
    Austrian I corps to Prussia up to 11/1814

yr obdt svt,

-Ken
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, how, do I say it?  I guess I made a little

                >>>>>>!!!!MISTAKE!!!!<<<<<<
                          ^^^^^^^

not picking three years peace against Prussian player when I had the chance.
However, at least my (ahem) little mistake was neither as serious in
implication nor (I egotistically believe) as apparent as the Austrian mistake
of underestimating the residual hostility from some of the previous "mutual
recriminations" phases, reported in past logs.  As it turned out, I managed
to redeem myself at his expense. At this juncture, the French Empire (er, make
that Kingdom) is little the worse for wear, missing lots of its army - but
then, so are the allies - and Napolean - but then, he never did me many favors
anyway.  Just dragged down my PPs when I lost a battle with him.

It seems likely that the Turks will win the game outright.  What's less clear
is how long they will take to do it and who will go out with them (on manpower
points).  Stay tuned sports fans - the next Nutshell News may be the final one.

Fred
Newsgroups: rec.games.board