From: snail@lsl.co.uk
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: God/Jesus jokes - offensive to zealous Christians
Date: 10 Apr 92 11:41:16 GMT
Organization: Laser-Scan Ltd., Cambridge

In article <1992Apr9.010324.1@pomona.claremont.edu>, jtravers@pomona.claremont.edu writes:
> In article <1992Apr3.180556.6956@cs.tu-berlin.de>, koelln@cs.tu-berlin.de (Florian Koelln) writes:
>> All right, I have one, too:
> 
> Jesus came upon the angry mob about ready to stone the prostitute...
> 	"Stop," he said.  "Let the one among you who is without sin cast the
> first stone."
> 
> As he smugly began to walk away, he heard a cry behind him and turned to see
> the prostitute laying on the ground with a cut on her forehead and blood
> running freely.  Bewildered, Jesus looked about the crowd.  Upon sighting
> someone in the crowd, he called out loudly, "Mother, I told you to stay home!"

Seeing this has prompted me to write one that I read In St George's Hospital
Rag Mag (London) a few years ago. I was saving it but....

Jesus is walking through the desert, when in the distance he sees a crowd of
people. One seeing this he thinks "aha! more people to spread the message" and
starts to walk towards them. As he gets closer he can heare shouting and then
sees that they are all holding large stones. The crowd is standing in a circle
around a woman. Jesus makes his way through the crowd and steps into the
circle. He asks the leader of the crowd "What is happening here?"
"Well my lord, this woman has sinned, she has broken one of your ten
commandments...she has committed adultery. And for this we are going to stone
her to death!"

Jesus thinks for a while, and then "Hmmmm, er, well yes you are right, and she
has broken one of the ten commandments, but since your are all mortal, I'm
sure that each and every one of you has sinned at some time in your life. So
let the first stone be cast be someone who has committed no sin."

At this all the crowd put there stone down, because they know they have 
committed a sin at some time. After about five minutes, the crowd on the far
side of the circle starts to part and a really old haggard lady shuffles
forward, carrying the most enormous boulder anyone had every seen. She shuffles
up to the woman in the center of the circle and drops the boulder on the woman,
SPLAT! killing her outright.

And Jesus says "OK Mother, no need to show off!"

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