HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rkf@wildrose.infoserv.com (Ray Fink)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What is gold-digging?
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 00:52:30 -0700
Reply-To: wildrose!rkf@infoserv.com
Organization: Wild Rose Refugee Camp

oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
>rkf@wildrose.infoserv.com (Ray Fink) writes:
>>crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:

>>>If a man asks me out, and I don't know him very well, I assume he's
>>>paying.  If he doesn't, he's got no class whatsoever, IMO.  Frankly, it
>>>hasn't happened to me (though it did happen to a friend of mine).  

>>Three-fourths of the women I've gone out with expected me to pay for 
>>everything.  For a while, I put up with that nonsense for a few
>>dates, but I found that most women who were willing to share expenses
>>at all either insisted on, or offered, sharing right from the start.

>You know, it has a lot to do with how a woman is taught.  I would say that
>most women are taught to expect the guy to pay.  My folks, on the other hand,
>taught me that I should pay my own way in.  When I was first dating as a 
>teenager, in fact, my dad would give me the money to cover my share of the
>evening.  He told me that the guy wouldn't be able to pull anything like, "I
>paid for this date.  Now you /owe/ me something..."

Yes, most women I've met were taught (directly or indirectly) to expect
the guy to pay.  To me, though, it's yet another gender stereotype that
I'm trying to avoid. I've learned that it's not my job to try to change
somebody else's behavior to fit my view of the world.  I can be 
sympathetic to the fact that "that's what they learned", but I'm not
willing to foot the bill for their fantasies. 

>>Oh yeah, I probably do have no class whatsoever, I don't even open
>>car doors for women.  Another useful sorting criterion, I've found ;-)

>You and I should talk.  I'll usually let a guy open the car door, if he
>insists, but it really, really, really ANNOYS the hell out of me. 

Can you explain that... I'm curious what part of it you find annoying.
One of ex-wife's (numerous :-)) complaints was that I didn't make her
feel special by opening car doors for her.  So when I first started 
dating again, I thought "ok I'll try this".  Some women liked it,
some objected...but after a while it became like the "who pays"
problem:  I'm looking for a partner and equal for an equal partnership,
and I found it enormously difficult to view somebody as an equal 
while at the same time treating them as incapable of opening a car
door.  

Along those lines... a business acquaintance of mine opens car doors
for *everybody*, if it's his car he unlocks the passenger door first
and opens it as a courtesy.  I found that disconcerting at first.
But he's the *only* person I know who opens car doors outside of
dating situations.

-- 
-- Ray
From: infante@acpub.duke.edu (Andrew  Infante)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: New Relationships...
Date: 17 Dec 92 18:36:10 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.

In article <1992Dec14.034342.38078@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.IBM.com writes:
>In <oneil.724227891@cwis> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
>>
>>How important /is/ sex to a relationship?
>
>I'd rank it right up there with breathing.
>
>I figure that if she can go for hours, or even days, on end without sex, then
>we're just not compatible.
>--
>Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)

Well put, Larry!

I commend you on your candor.  However, while I feel _somewhat_ the
same way, there's obviously more to a _special_ relationship. :)

Anyway, whatever.

later,

andy
From: tps@jptcs.COM (Tim Sailer)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What is gold-digging?
Date: 14 Dec 92 07:47:52 GMT
Organization: JPT Computer Solutions
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]

S. Wukovitz (SXW103@psuvm.psu.edu) wrote:
: In article <oneil.724176019@cwis>, oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) says:
: >You and I should talk.  I'll usually let a guy open the car door, if he
: >insists, but it really, really, really ANNOYS the hell out of me.
: Hmm, I LIKE this.  Then again, it's HIS car, sort of a "welcome
: to my car" gesture.  If it were my car (can't afford one at the
: moment) then I would open the door for him.  If we are walking
: towards a building, whoever gets there first holds the door for
: the other one.  Etc.

Well, *I* like to open doors, etc. for women... I was raised to believe
that things like that were just 'Manners'. Now, if we're just running
around, you get your own car door, but if we're out, and you're wearing
a skirt/dress, I'll ALWAYS get the car door so you can get in the car
easily without you hemline ending up around your waist, or closing the
door on your coat/dress/skirt.... As for opening the door to a building
for someone, I'll always hold the door for the person behind me, regardless
of who/what gender they are, and then follow them in. I know... so I'm
strange.... I can deal with it! :)

Tim
-- 
Tim Sailer
JPT Computer Solutions - SCO Sales/Consulting/Administration and Mangling
Port Jefferson Station, NY
(516) 331-9001
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (Piglet)
Subject: Re: Over 40 and single....Anyone that "OLD"?
Organization: never had it, never will
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 04:15:49 GMT

In article <lj1chmINNo8q@news.bbn.com> dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
>gadfly@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (Gadfly) writes:
>I know where I was when Kennedy got shot.  My mom, who was eight
>months pregnant with me, was flushing the toilet when the handle
>broke off and slashed her wrist open.  So I was inside of my mother
>in the emergency room as she tried to convince the doctor that she
>hadn't tried to commit suicide and she didn't need to have an emergency
>C-section for psychiatric reasons, she just needed her damned arm sewn
>up.  And the police were asking my father how depressed she had been
>lately and how often he beat her, and he was trying to explain that she
>had just flushed the toilet.

Holy gods and goddesses!!  YOU'RE YOUNGER THAN I AM!!!!  Ack!

Thanksgiving Day, almost a decade ago.  It's about 4 o'clock in
the afternoon, we've been waiting for the turkey all day, Mamma
hasn't let us eat lunch (you'll spoil your dinner, which was
_supposed_ to be at 2)...  Finally the turkey comes out.  My
father gets ready to carve.  Step 1:  sharpen the knife.  On
the last stroke he intends to make, he glances over his shoulder
(don't ask me why), and misses the sharpener, peeling off a
thin strip of skin from the back of his hand on the way to the
counter.  Blood _everywhere_, including a drop or two on the
turkey platter, which we promptly wipe off (no way are we 
letting a little blood get in the way of this food--I mean,
heck, it's an animal, right?  It started with blood in it...)

So, off go Mom and Dad to the emergency room, leaving us kids
with _strict_ instructions not to touch the turkey.  And of
course we don't dare eat anything else, because they might be
home at any moment.  NOT!!

When they finally do get home, my dad can't stop laughing.  
The whole time they were taking care of him, they kept 
saying, "so, you cut the back of your hand while sharpening
a knfe", and looking directly at my mother, or asking "now,
how did this happen exactly?"  Mamma wasn't _quite_ as
amused.


Piglet
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ksand@apple.com (Kent Sandvik )
Subject: Re: Truth
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 05:14:15 GMT
Organization: (Evil Eye Creature from Mars, Inc.)
Followup-To: soc.singles,alt.pagan,alt.romance,alt.sex,alt.polyamory,talk.religion.misc

In article <DN9uVB5w165w@kalki33>, kalki33!system@lakes.trenton.sc.us
wrote:
> lothie@syrinx.umd.edu (Lothie) writes:
> > I have a LOVELY definition of Truth that I'd like to share with everyone.
> > 
> > 	Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty; that is all
> > 	Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

> Yes, this is nice. The greatest beauty therefore is the greatest truth.
> That is God, the Absolute Truth, Who is absolute beauty.

Hard to see the connection, but it you really wish that is the case
-- fine for me. I don't think you could that easily map truth = God,
especially when you look at the mainstream concepts of what God
really is. Then again if you have a mysticism-inspired notion of God
you have better luck comparing beauty and truth with God.


Kent
-------------------
Kent Sandvik (UUCP: ....!apple!ksand; INTERNET: ksand@apple.com)
DISCLAIMER: Private activities on the Net.		
"Don't just do something!  Stand there!"  -- Mystery Science Theater 3000
Xref: sparky soc.singles:34395 soc.women:21688 soc.men:21457 ba.singles:2745
From: barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women,soc.men,ba.singles
Subject: Re: Duck and Jive (was Re: Pre-Sex Contract )
Date: 19 Dec 92 18:02:38 GMT
Organization: QQQCLC

In article <1992Dec19.031130.12430@cfctech.cfc.com> kevin@cfctech.cfc.com (Kevin Darcy) writes:
>In article <1992Dec16.190828.20581@netcom.com> desiree@netcom.com (Desiree Champagne) writes:
>>	I am grossly tired of men that whine about double-standards
>>in this here life.  Yes, I understand that are plenty of double-standards
>>that we as a society have introduced.  And we all should be attuned to
>>those "false" double standards and strive to rid ourselves of them.  But
>>the bottom line is:  there are natural double standards over which
>>we shouldn't have any control.  
>
>What's "natural" about state-mandated child support in the first place 
>though? Seems to me that the "natural" behavior for an unwilling father is 
>to just walk. It's the woman who keeps on insisting on an artificial, 
>socially-constructed "solution" to her "natural" problem. 

	Exactly. And the "artificial, socially contructed solution" is
called "civilization". Civilization is why children unwanted by anyone
don't simply starve to death. And civilization is why single parents
without enough income to support their children get assistance, be it
child support from the absent parent, family aid, or both.

	80% of the households receiving family aid are single parent
households headed by mothers. Except in a very few cases where the other
parent is dead, all are legally entitled to child support from the
father. Most would not be eligible for family aid if they got full child
support; those still entitled would be entitled to less.

	It's real simple, guys: when dad takes a hike and doesn't
support his kids, taxpayers pick up the slack. And it comes to a hefty
sum out of each and every taxpayer's wallet.

	Let me put it in plain language, Kevin: if you father a kid you
don't want, you've got my sympathy up to the point where I and my fellow
taxpayers end up paying for it. And that's what happens more than half
the time - single mothers not getting child support account for about
80% of family aid. I'm happy to pay to keep kids from starving, but I
insist the first obligation is the parents', both of them. You may not
want to pay, but I don't, either, and I didn't even get to fuck her :-).
Don't expect sympathy or support from me for your failure to be a
responsible adult. The sexual equality argument is bullshit. What you
are really asking for is public financial support for certain men's lack
of responsibility. Forget it. No way. They owe; they pay.

-  From the Crow's Nest  -                Kenn Barry
----------------------------------------------------------------
ELECTRIC AVENUE:    			barry@netcom.com
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.men,soc.women,alt.flame
From: gadfly@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (Gadfly)
Subject: Re: Duck and Jive (was Re: Pre-Sex Contract )
Organization: AT&T
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 22:10:18 GMT
Followup-To: soc.singles
Summary: Do the bossa nova.

In article <1992Dec18.085047.23945@netcom.com>, rohwerwd@netcom.com
(Mr. Tickle Monster) writes:
>      If you are so fucking bored, why the hell are you responding???
> ...  I would rather die than fuck you.  I saw you at the party and
> although you are physically pretty, I think that, overall, you are an
> extraordinarily ugly bitch.

Gee, I don't know, Des, I think he's got a crush on you.  Some guys
have a lot of trouble showing affection, you know.

               *** ***
Ken Perlow   ***** *****
18 Dec 92   ****** ******   28 Frimaire An CCI
            *****   *****   gadfly@ihspc.att.com
             ** ** ** **
...L'AUDACE!   *** ***   TOUJOURS DE L'AUDACE!  ENCORE DE L'AUDACE!
From: mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Attraction -> Acquiantance or vice versa?
Date: 13 Dec 92 19:39:30 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network

In article <thurlow.724263927@convex.convex.com> thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow) writes:

>I'd have to agree that your voice is one of those deluxe models pulled
>from the top shelf, Mel.  I agree, a sexy voice is a big asset.  It's

Thank you, kindly, sir. 

>surprisingly easy to improve your voice beyond what you got issued to
>you at birth, too.  There's a few friends who could really make good
>use of a basic "use your voice" class or two.

Yup.  It's one of those things that can fall in the category of
"use what got" and make the best use of it.  Many men ( and probably
women) don't realize just what a positive effect their voice can
have.

I had the pleasure of working with a guy once who had the most
amazing voice. It didn't matter what he was talking about, he could
always command my attention and I would be enrapt just listening to
his voice and this wasn't someone I was particularly 'interested'
in, but he could speak in such a way and with this voice that could
make garbage disposals a fascinating topic.
 

--
              For flavor, instant sex will never supercede 
              the stuff you have to peel and cook. 
                                  -- Quentin Crisp
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: It's a funny feeling..?
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 13:27:05 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <Bz4nz2.LEA@CAM.ORG> souchay@CAM.ORG (Francois Souchay) writes:
>I coulda either been a computer geek or a chef. At least chefs get to chase
>people around with cleavers when they invade their workspace.
>Whapping at a salesdroid with a floppy disc just doesn't have the
>same impact, somehow. 

Try your keyboard. :)
r.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: cocoa@netcom.com
Subject: Re: Woman: will you go out with shorter man?
Organization: Bourbon Street
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 01:31:33 GMT

In article <75570@apple.apple.COM> pooh@Apple.COM (Pooh) writes:
>In the referenced article, margoli@watson.IBM.com writes:
>>
>>I've found that in bed, height differences don't generally matter...
>
>I beg to differ!  In certain positions, differing thigh lengths
>can make a frustrating difference ...

Much to my occasional dismay, this also holds true for torso lenghts.
Makes it harder to reach several things at the same time.  The answer?
Yoga probably.

Just me,

little 'e'


-- 
*  *  *    Chocolatier at Arms, and Castle Wetware Liason            *  *  *
*  *  *    e-mail: cocoa@netcom.com   -    voicemail: 415-337-4940   *  *  *

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: michele@dgbt.doc.ca (Michele Guillet)
Subject: Re: Women, Cats, & Chocolate
Organization: The Communications Research Centre
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 20:52:35 GMT

In article <lipq0uINN89v@news.bbn.com> dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
>
>I'm curious why somebody should be a lifelong cat freak and then suddenly
>fall head over heels in love with some stray dog?  I'd always adored
>cats and thought dogs were, as you say, walking drool generators, when 
>this stray dog informed me that she was moving in with me.  

I too always adored cats and tought that dogs were somewhat stupid
and walking drool generators. I never was able to have cats as
a kid because my sister had asthma and allergy to cats (my parents
didn't want to get rid of my sister). So one of the first thing
I did when I got my own place after graduating was get a cat only
to find out that I too had severe allergy to cats.

I was devastated even more so when after years without pets, I
decided to go back to the allergist and tell him that I had to have
a cat that there must be some breed of cats that I could still breath  
when around. 

The allergist told me to get a dog. It took me a while to accept
the idea. A few weeks later, I went and got a puppy. For about
a month I tought I was crazy to have gotten a stupid dog.
It has been five years now, and not only do I adore my dog 
but I couldn't imagine living without a dog anymore.

-- 
Michele Guillet 			The Communications Research Centre 
3701 Carling Avenue, Ottawa, Ontario, CANADA, K2H 8S2	tel:613-998-2384
Internet: michele@dgbt.doc.ca
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Kissing Frogs
Date: 15 Dec 92 01:22:34 GMT
	<MARTINC.92Dec12161427@hatteras.cs.unc.edu>
	<1992Dec14.162348.10685@netcom.com>
Distribution: na
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: cocoa@netcom.com's message of 14 Dec 92 16:23:48 GMT

In article <1992Dec14.162348.10685@netcom.com> cocoa@netcom.com writes:

   In article <MARTINC.92Dec12161427@hatteras.cs.unc.edu> martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
   >In article <92347.125341SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA (Graydon) writes:
   >
   >   In article <7894@news.duke.edu>, diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) says:
   >   >This reminds me of something one of my friends (one of my MALE friends,
   >   >mind you) says about men.
   >   >
   >   >"All men are either clueless or assholes.  If you meet one who seems
   >   > to be neither, he's probably an asshole."
   >
   >   Oh, drat.  Yet another data point that sugguests I really *am*
   >   an alien.
   >
   >Maybe you're just clueless.

   And that makes you what Charlie?  Just what *does* that make you? :)

I'm not sure, actually.  I've just been suffering from the delusion that
*I* might be the person Beth was talking about ....
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
From: keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Kids suck...Get an Abortion!
Date: 11 Dec 92 18:32:26 GMT
Organization: California-Nevada Methodist Homes

In article <1992Dec9.205524.21117@jarvis.csri.toronto.edu> allisson@turing.toronto.edu (H. Allisson Roome) writes:
>I personally have made both choices and I know that I could repeat one
>of the choices again, if I were in a position where I had to, but I
>couldn't surrender a child to adoption again.  Before anyone gives me
>grief, I'm adopted and I know other adopted and adoptive parents so,
>I know that it my own sense of loss not a problem with the notion of
>adoption.

Hey Allisson, I appreciate your opinion on this subject, since you
are coming at it from an interesting vantage point.  However, I'd
like to add a couple of thought since I, too, have an interesting
vantage point.
I, too, am adopted, as well as my sister, and I am 36 years old.
I grew up in a wonderful household, where we took vacations every
year, and me & my sister had cars when we turned 16, a we went to
the college of our choice.  When I was in my late 20's, out of 
curiosity, I began to search for my birthparents.  I had two
questions; why was I given up for adoption, and what did my biological
parents look like.  After a couple of years of searching, I was 
put in touch with my biological mother[BM].  I discovered that I had
two biological half-sisters, as well.  Anyway, I met the BM and she
satisfied my curiosity to both of my questions.  We don't 
particularly get along, and I haven't talked to her in years now, 
but I have to say that I am glad I found her.  Finding her did two things
for me.  It satisfied my curiosity, and it made me appreciate the
family I grew up with, my *real* parents.  As it turned out, my BM
ended up on welfare, raising my two BH-S's, and they had a hard
childhood.  I ended up certainly for the best.  
What is my point?  Well, Allisson, I don't know if you know the
whereabouts of your adopted-out child, but if not, then maybe my 
story will give you a feeling that your child is growing up in a 
good home, and that you made the right decision.  I personally 
think that the abortion is probably an easier decision to make, 
since you are not dealing with a born human being.  But I think
it would be a very difficult decision to make to give up a 
baby that you had carried and delivered.  I have to admire anyone
who does that.  I also think it is a good thing to do, as there 
are so many couples out there who can't have children of their
own, who would love to give a child a good home.  I'll say it
again, thank you Allisson for having the courage to make a good
decision.  
--Keith

Xref: sparky soc.singles:33894 soc.women:21467 soc.men:21166 misc.legal:21352 alt.sex:39564 ba.singles:2621
From: jmw@angelo.amd.com (John Wincn)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women,soc.men,misc.legal,usa.legal,alt.sex,ba.singles
Subject: The trouble with subtlety, after all...
Date: 15 Dec 92 01:16:58 GMT
Organization: Advanced Micro Devices, Santa Clara, CA

In article <1992Dec14.190259.6733@oracle.us.oracle.com> mfriedma@uucp (Michael Friedman) writes:
>>If after reading this it still isn't clear to you, try dialing:  
>> 	384-3333 
>
>What area code?

(For you, and others who have asked)

When properly arranged, the corresponding letters spell:

			DUH-EEEE

It was a little subtle amusement for a Friday.  I hope you liked it. 

sic friatur crustulum (c), otherwise.  
--
J. M. Wincn                           jmw@angelo.amd.com (408) YUP-BEER 
               Standard DISCLAIMER available on request. 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: It's a funny feeling..?
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 21:39:03 GMT

In article <92342.2217042971047@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> 2971047@QUCDN.QueensU.CA writes:
>
>              Define love.  Can you do it in one sentence?

LOVE, n, that deep and strong feeling that is, to the greatest extent
         possible, utterly and completely unlike the feeling you experience
         when picking up a tub of cottage cheese by the lid and realizing
         that it is way, way, way past the expiration date just as the 
         bottom of the tub leaps free and deposits its multicolored 
         contents on your left foot.