HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: sokay@cyclone.mitre.org (Stephen J. Okay)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: I meet The Ruby Goddess and lived..
Date: 13 Oct 92 02:59:08 GMT
Organization: Mitre Corporation, McLean, VA
Originator: sokay@cyclone

I got to meet our ruby-clawed goddess last week in the flesh....

I'm standing in Tyson's II malL, a bastion of yuppiness usually, waiting for her
when all of a sudden, it gets dark outside, the cloud rolls in, and the light
turns from its brilliant cyan blue to a deep crimson shade for as far as the
eye can see. They sun turns a deep ichoric yellow and bleeds into the sky...

A silver mid-size pulls up to the curb and an aging, black-robed figure 
steps out(I am serious about this, this is what she was wearing) and
]grins a knowing smile. There's no question as to who she is and to who I am
either.  iWe embrace and I feel a sharp stabbing in in my back. When we pull back, I feel something  slideout  of my chest and she hold up a single claw
dripping crimson. She puts it to her mouth and tastes it with an expert air
about her. After a moments thought, she puts her palm to my chest and I feel a warm sensation shoot through and envelop the wounded area..The healing spell
goes to work instantly , mending the hole she pierced seconds before...

"A few more years my dear " she grins a pseudo-deathshead smile, "And it will
be perfect. I'll await its arrival in my claws eagerly...". 

That done, we move upstairs, grab some food and talk. And talk, and talk, and
look at the pictures of her trip to Europe, and talk some more..and look
at some of the pictures from Delft and Venice and talk some more.

I found her to bejust as charming and dark and funny and Kali-like in 
person as she is in the net.  We talked a lot about ASH and all the stuff 
we've shared over time and I found her to be a really cool person. She 
REAlly does have this dark air or sense about her, even beyond what has
been projected on this group...

Anyways, she assures me that she will be back on here in about another week 
iready to wreak havoc again...

OH, yeah, I got to see a picture of her daughter Killi. She's a babe!, she's a 
Megababe!...schwing!!! 

---StevE
-- 
Stephen Okay  sokay@mitre.org
"You see, I'm kind of this control freak who likes to create his own
personal hells before the real one can get to him. I like to beat hell
to hell so to speak".--Spalding Gray "Monster in a box"
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: allens@yang.earlham.edu (Allen Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday,sci.med
Subject: Re: Killing...
Date: 13 Oct 92 06:21:49 GMT
Organization: Earlham College, Richmond, Indiana

In article <1992Oct12.153631.14561@udel.edu>, Psycho Kitten writes:
> 	What next... Thanks for the reminder about loweered light 
> levels.  If this is the beginning of a downturn, I'll hate to see what
> the bottom is.  I might acutally get lights this year.  An additional
> note -- some types of flouresent lights (like those used in public
> schools) can rob the body of certain vitamins/minerals.  The humming
> and flickering can cause migrane headaches.  It's a good idea to 
> get faulty lights fixed quickly (to avoid the extra background        
> annoyance).  I don't remember exactly which study I'm referring to...
> I can try and find it if anyone _really_ wants to know.
> 
	Umm... I don't think that you'd get problems with 
vitamins/minerals from flouresent [sp?] lights, other than possible 
Vitamin D deficiency from lack of the proper UV wavelengths if the 
flouresent coating is too efficient. But that problem is there with 
incandescent lights also. The solution for us night owls? 
Multivitamin-mineral tablets.
	-Allen
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: sokay@cyclone.mitre.org (Stephen J. Okay)
Subject: Re: involuntary incarceration and violent means
Organization: Mitre Corporation, McLean, VA
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 23:22:20 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.202516.19187@udel.edu> awatson@pecan.cns.udel.edu (angela watson) writes:
>				Psycho Kitten
>				stuck at the University of Dela-Where...
>				where there are no intelligent people that
>				I can converse with...
>				(why does everyone on the net have to live
>				so far away???)

True....most of us are scattered across the globe, but at the same time, 
you can take us anywhere. No matter where you go in the country or even the
world, as long as you can get to a phone and a modem, we'll be there.
There are a lot of people on the net I'd like to have geographically close
to me and it really gets me bummed sometimes 'cause I know they're not, but
thats set off partially by the fact I know they will be everywhere I go...

---Steve
-- 
Stephen Okay  sokay@mitre.org
"You see, I'm kind of this control freak who likes to create his own
personal hells before the real one can get to him. I like to beat hell
to hell so to speak".--Spalding Gray "Monster in a box"
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: Echo W. Who
Subject: *thunk*thunk*thunk*
Summary: *thump*bang*crash* 
Originator: awatson@pecan.cns.udel.edu
Organization: The Eternal Order of Chaos 
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 00:19:47 GMT


	...just me throwing things in the closets as I clean the 
	house like a whirling dervish...

	Now that I'm currently not depressed (or manic), I'm torn between
being social and spending all my time researching means of mass destruction.
I was going to the library tonight, but since there was a possibility
that *gasp* I might bring someone home with me, I just _had_ to tidy
up a bit.  I finished cleaning a bit late to goto the library tonight...
suppose it's for the best (since my SO was worried that I might meet the
serial rapist that is stalking our town).

	Time to relax and spend the night 'talk'ing to people...

	(Hoepfully I'll have more good news tomorrow...)

	E.W.W.  (aka Psycho Kitten)


-- 

Psycho Kitten   \ zaphodb@brahms.udel.edu    \ Check my .plan \ Just a Grim
Angela M. Watson \ awatson@pecan.cns.udel.edu \ for more info  \ Reaper wannabe
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Thursday, 8 Oct 1992 23:53:46 CDT
From: <U56503@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Fork in the Road: Binary Decisions
 <1992Oct8.222456.10398@leland.Stanford.EDU>

In article <1992Oct8.222456.10398@leland.Stanford.EDU>,
underdog@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dwight Joe) says:

>Today, I finalized a decision, which will forever change my future.
>There's no turning back, effectively.  Knowing me, I probably picked
>the wrong alternative.

Are you suggesting we ask about it?
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Friday, 9 Oct 1992 22:10:57 CDT
From: <U56503@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Fork in the Road: Binary Decisions
 <92282.235346U56503@uicvm.uic.edu> <1687BD685.EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu>

In article <1687BD685.EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu>, EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu says:
>
>In article <92282.235346U56503@uicvm.uic.edu>
><U56503@uicvm.uic.edu> writes:

>>In article <1992Oct8.222456.10398@leland.Stanford.EDU>,
>>underdog@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dwight Joe) says:

>>>Today, I finalized a decision, which will forever change my future.
>>>There's no turning back, effectively.  Knowing me, I probably picked
>>>the wrong alternative.

>>Are you suggesting we ask about it?

>    He probably is; it certainly looks like fish bait to me.  O.K. who, wants
>to bite this one??

Okay.  Okay.  I'll do it. (Chomp)

Dwight's a good "Joe."

Here goes:  (seriously)

Dwight, What? decision did you make?  Why will it forever change your future?
Why can't you turn back?  And what alternative did you choose?  Why do you
feel you would of course choose the wrong alternative?  Why can't you
change your decision again?  Why do you lack faith in your decision-making
abilities?


Brady

>Euclid (aka Omar the Iron Bender, Pokey, Iron Maiden, L.C., Gumby, and, yes,
>             elizabeth kupfer (also known in real life as Emily Kemp, but
>              what difference does that make??).

=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=Brady Woodward ~=~ U56503@UICVM=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
  SATAN to NEW-COMER: The trouble with you Chicago people is that you
  think that you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely
  the most mumerous. --Mark Twain  (All other thoughts are mine alone.)
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: euclid@mrcnext.cso.uiuc.edu (Saint Joan of Arc)
Subject: Re: involuntary incarceration and violent means
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 22:58:49 GMT

There's death by electrocution.  Would this be considered violent or not?

St. Joan

--
elizabeth kupfer, euclid@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu (preferred)
standard disclaimers apply
Hold fast to the center --Tao Te Ching
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: alpinist@eskimo.celestial.com (David Butler)
Subject: Re: sdf.lonestar.org: /u/df/suicide_quux
Organization: =>ESKIMO NORTH (206) 367-3837 SEATTLE, WA.<=
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 19:48:28 GMT

In article <1992Oct10.011708.17107@udel.edu> Psycho Kitten writes:
> Of course people encourage you to live... they don't
>want to deal with all the loose ends that death leaves for the living.  

  You may be right.  Once people have tied up all thier loose ends
(ie homeless) people don't care nearly so much if they live or die.
 

-- 
****************************************************************************
* Dave                          *               The Alpinist               *
* alpinist@eskimo.celestial.com *            DARE to be stoopid!           *
****************************************************************************
From: kay@bigwpi.WPI.EDU (k)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: it's raining again...
Date: 12 Oct 92 00:49:00 GMT
Organization: the institute for applied wedge physics and petrarcosmology
NNTP-Posting-Host: bigwpi.wpi.edu

...i hate rain...

...i love rain...

...it reminds me of all the other things I love and that makes me hate it...

...all the things I love remind me of all the things I hate and are in many
cases the same things and that makes me hate it...

The night and the rain put together make me reflective, and remember what I 
am and what I was, what I have and had, all the things that have made me who
and what I am today...

...and I realize, most of them suck.

I miss them.

k, being very paradoxical, and not liking it much
-- 
mosh!  nosh!  mosh!  don't stop moving!  or: the problem of dining punks
just one of the many pressing metamechanical problems being addressed at
the institute for applied wedge physics and petrarcosmology  worcester ma
kay@wpi.wpi.edu    searching for a way to fill up this last line properly
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: underdog@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dwight Joe)
Subject: Re: Fork in the Road: Binary Decisions
Organization: Miners for a Heart of Gold
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 92 05:03:46 GMT

In article <92283.221057U56503@uicvm.uic.edu> <U56503@uicvm.uic.edu> writes:
>In article <1687BD685.EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu>, EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu
>(Elizabeth Kupfer)  says:
>>    He probably is; it certainly looks like fish bait to me.  O.K. who, wants
>>to bite this one??

Hey, Elizabeth, how's it going?

>Okay.  Okay.  I'll do it. (Chomp)
>Dwight's a good "Joe."
>Here goes:  (seriously)
>Dwight, What? decision did you make?  Why will it forever change your future?
>Why can't you turn back?  And what alternative did you choose?  Why do you
>feel you would of course choose the wrong alternative?  Why can't you
>change your decision again?  Why do you lack faith in your decision-making
>abilities?

I don't discuss my personal life in public.  My original post began with
a question, followed by the limited background information that I provided.

What I wished to be addressed was just the question, which you conveniently
deleted.  I'll repeat it:

   "How does one really know if a choice among alternatives is the
    best?"

"... I still haven't found what I'm looking for ..." - U2
"... With or without you ... she makes me wait ..." -U2

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seikatsu no imi wa nan desu ka.            \|  |`      | Don't buy from Toyota;
Shitte itara oshiete kuremasen ka.          | -+-      | especially, don't buy
                                           /| / \      | from Capitol Toyota in
Copyright 1992.                 Disclaimer:  1 + 1 = 3 | San Jose, California.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: U56503@uicvm.uic.edu
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: a cheap holiday in other people's misery
Date: 14 Oct 92 02:40:11 GMT
 <92285.154029U56503@uicvm.uic.edu> <ogorman.718912705@unix1.tcd.ie>
 <92286.171925U56503@uicvm.uic.edu> <ogorman.718983423@unix1.tcd.ie>
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago

In article <ogorman.718983423@unix1.tcd.ie>, ogorman@unix1.tcd.ie (Lucifuge)
says:

>And imperceptable.

Is that you?

>expect me to repeat myself?

Do you think you do?

>I'm too old for politics. Then again the title 'Supreme uberfuhrer,
>primus Illuminatus and overlord for life (and potential afterlife) has

Delusions of grandeur too?

>Not the only touch I have Brady.

Daring-do?

What kind of touch are you referring to:

Touch of insanity?
Touch of auto-eroticism?
Touch of "crass"?
Touchy?
Touche'

Brady

=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=Brady Woodward ~=~ U56503@UICVM=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
  SATAN to NEW-COMER: The trouble with you Chicago people is that you
  think that you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely
  the most mumerous. --Mark Twain  (All other thoughts are mine alone.)
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
Xref: sparky alt.suicide.holiday:2269 rec.arts.poems:9805 alt.prose:1364 alt.personals:20161
From: megazone@obsidian.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23)
Newsgroups: wpi.students.vox,alt.suicide.holiday,rec.arts.poems,alt.prose,alt.personals
Subject: Relativity
Date: 10 Oct 1992 00:42:43 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: obsidian.wpi.edu

This is something new I tried. I'd appreciate any comments on the new style
and/or content. Thanks.

Relativity

Rack
Time stretches onward
     the
Back to the beginning
         slide
Distaste for the rules
Muzzle
Withdrawal from society
       pressed
Avoid the constraints
               to
Living on the edge
                  skull
Comfortable alone
Hollowpoints
Lies became truth
Safety
Identity lost
       off
Automaton
Firm 
Realization
     grip
Illusions shattered
Polished
Confusion
         chrome
When lies are truths
Finger
And truths are lies
       on
Trust is impossible
          trigger
Without trust
Slight
Love is impossible
       pressure
Without love
Violence
Life is impossible
Darkness

megazone, trying something a bit different, 10/9/92
From: U56503@uicvm.uic.edu
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Columbus Day: Start? Winter Depression Season
Date: 11 Oct 92 21:35:49 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Supersedes: <92285.162229U56503@uicvm.uic.edu>

Hi ASHers,

Here's the post people asked me to make this summer.

Remember this summer?

People on ASH this summer were happy and cheerful in part.
Why, things were so downright friendly, people that hated each other
all winter were agreeing and getting alone.  We marvelled at this
phenomenon and basked in the sunshine outside our computer rooms.

We discussed Winter Depression then too.  We talked a lot about it.
We saw that the mood of the group was so upbeat on the whole in the
summer.  Sure, some of the "regulars" were not here, but other dour-
in-winter members found themselves inordinately cheery and hopeful.
This was duly noted.

We discussed how the onset of negativity usually comes around
Columbus Day.  I myself discussed that this is the time I notice
a diminution of mood and got out my lights.

We discussed how mood descendings might begin even earlier this
year due to the dust from Mt. Pinatubo cutting out more light.

Now, I logon to a.s.h. to see people going for each other's throats
and it is Columbus Day Weekend.

Just thought I would post the above as pause for thought to each
individual ASHer.  Wishing us all a winter of stability.

Brady

=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=Brady Woodward ~=~ U56503@UICVM=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
  SATAN to NEW-COMER: The trouble with you Chicago people is that you
  think that you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely
  the most mumerous. --Mark Twain  (All other thoughts are mine alone.)
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: sokay@cyclone.mitre.org (Stephen J. Okay)
Subject: Re: Columbus Day: Start? Winter Depression Season
Organization: Mitre Corporation, McLean, VA
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 12:55:32 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.134624.19342@solace.hsh.se> tomten@solace.hsh.se (Kare H. Pettersson) writes:
>In <92285.163549U56503@uicvm.uic.edu> U56503@uicvm.uic.edu writes:
>
>>People on ASH this summer were happy and cheerful in part.
>>Why, things were so downright friendly, people that hated each other
>>all winter were agreeing and getting alone.  We marvelled at this
>>phenomenon and basked in the sunshine outside our computer rooms.
>
>Could it be, that some of us, especially we silent readers of ASH,
>simply didn't find the discussion worthwhile during the summer.  That
>we felt too shitty to get involved of your happy little talks?  I,
>for one, eneded up in hospital during August.

Yes, I agree...lovely how she speaks for all of us isn't it....?

---Steve
-- 
Stephen Okay  sokay@mitre.org
"You see, I'm kind of this control freak who likes to create his own
personal hells before the real one can get to him. I like to beat hell
to hell so to speak".--Spalding Gray "Monster in a box"
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: U56503@uicvm.uic.edu
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Winter Depression Light Sources?
Date: 16 Oct 92 08:40:55 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago

Repost for new readers.

This post is for general information purposes, and does not
offer any professional recommendations or guarantees.  The decision
rests with the reader as to whether the information is helpful
to her/him.

As promised, I am reposting the sources for lights used in some
medical centers, like Northwestern here in Chicago, for treating
winter depression.  I reiterate that I have no affiliations (or stock)
in either company.

Medic-Light, Inc.
34 Yacht Club Drive
Lake Hopatcong, NJ  07849
1-201-663-1214

Duro-Test
9 Law Drive
Fairfield, NJ  07007
1-800-BUY-DURO
1-201-808-1800

I have lights from both companies and they are both on here now since
last week, since there is less light this fall earlier due to Mt.
Pinatubo.  I have consulted with an MD who heads the winter depression
program at Northwestern, and she recommends both of these light
sources, but I offer no personal guarantees or recommendations.

The latter focuses on light simulating natural light and includes
some ultra-violet as part of the natural light spectrum.  The former
focuses on light intensity with a minimum intensity being 5000 lux.
They provide instructions on when and how to use the lights.

Neither company makes formal guarantees regarding use for winter
depression.  Neither do I other than saying they seem to work for me.


Happy winter!

Brady

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+Brady Woodward PhD +=+ U56503@UICVM+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
  SATAN to NEW-COMER: The trouble with you Chicago people is that you
  think that you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely
  the most mumerous. --Mark Twain  (All other thoughts are mine alone.)
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: jage@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (I like redheads.)
Subject: Re: Bipolar, Anyone?
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 22:23:43 GMT

In article <1992Oct13.220644.23581@udel.edu> awatson@pecan.cns.udel.edu (angela watson) writes:

(triple quoting deleted)

>
>	Me too!  I do feel like homicide instead of suicide this week...

Forgive me if I am wrong, but don't you *always* fell like homicide
instead of suicide??  ;) 

>
>	...but intense emotions aren't my reason for living.  I can't
>stand when people act all huggy... just makes me want to spew (or
>take them out with blowdarts).
>
>	
>-- 
>
>Psycho Kitten   \ zaphodb@brahms.udel.edu    \ Check my .plan \ Just a Grim
>Angela M. Watson \ awatson@pecan.cns.udel.edu \ for more info  \ Reaper wannabe
>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  "When I'm bad, I sit in a tree,            
   and spit on people who walk under me."       
		-The Dead Milkmen

   jage@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
   johnsojt@feserve.cc.purdue.edu                    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: barman@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Dilip Barman)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Propane
Date: 15 Oct 92 06:08:00 GMT
Organization: The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill



I found the list of suicide techniques interesting to read through.  I
thought the propane idea sounded quite unique.  Would one die by just
putting one's hand in a jar of propane?  It sounds unlikely!  Although
it is very commonly available, it only comes in sealed drums.  How do
you get the liquid out into an open container?  Curious minds want to
know ... please email replies to me.

-- 
  Dilip Barman
  Dept. of Computer Science:		Home:			
  University of North Carolina		5129 Oakbrook Drive
  Sitterson Hall 365, CB 3175		Durham, North Carolina 27713-8005
From: zlsiida@fs1.mcc.ac.uk (dave budd)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Names and identities
Date: 14 Oct 92 09:28:01 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre

In article <Bw1H71.DHu@NCoast.ORG> brown@NCoast.ORG (Stan Brown) writes:
>In article <1basssINN11u@bigboote.WPI.EDU> megazone@obsidian.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23) writes:
>>I have a few reasons why I haven't changed my name yet legally, mostly due to
>>the cost. But I am looking into getting a DBA (Doing Business As) ID which 

>Are you _assuming_ that legally changing your name is costly, or have
>you actually researched it?  
>As always, laws vary by state.  But a year or so ago I changed my name,
>and it cost me $50 at the courthouse.  (It might have been $45, it might
>have been $55.)  As is true in most states I believe, no lawyer was 
>required.  The staff were wuite helpful.  I had to fill out _one_ form.  

In the UK, at least until recently, and possibly still, it was free - you 
just start using your chosen new name, and inform all relevant authorities.  
But it was easier to convince them that no scam was involved if you paid a 
lawyer a small fee to draw up a Deed Poll.  I've done it - twice!



              Have another day    [Armageddon, the musical] 
  Dave Budd, MCC, Oxford Rd, Manchester, England   (44|0)61-275-6033
From: brown@NCoast.ORG (Stan Brown)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Columbus Day: Start? Winter Depression Season
Date: 16 Oct 92 00:36:50 GMT
Organization: Oak Road Systems, Cleveland Ohio USA

In article <1992Oct14.125532.10703@linus.mitre.org> sokay@cyclone.mitre.org (Stephen J. Okay) writes:
>In article <1992Oct12.134624.19342@solace.hsh.se> tomten@solace.hsh.se (Kare H. Pettersson) writes:
>>In <92285.163549U56503@uicvm.uic.edu> U56503@uicvm.uic.edu writes:
>>
>>>People on ASH this summer were happy and cheerful in part.

Probably just a coincidence that college campuses were nearly empty
then!
-- 
Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems                      brown@Ncoast.ORG
Cleveland, Ohio, USA
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday