From: CREECH@LSTC2VM.stortek.com (Teresa Creech)
Subject: Re: Working full-time out of choice
Organization: StorageTek SW Engineering
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 19:39:09 GMT

I have strong feelings on this subject, so I couldn't resist
posting.
 
I work full time out of choice (partly my choice, partly my husbands).
I have 4 children: ages 8,6, 3, and 3.  I HAVE stayed home.  I
stayed home for 3 months with my first baby and then went back full
time out of economic necessity.  I can't say that I hated staying
home, but I sure was glad to be back at work.  Kelly got LOTS of
attention from us.  We used to fight over who got to take care of
her after work and I don't know of a baby who has been more places
than she did.
 
For baby number 2, I decided that I was going to be a 'good mother' and
stay home full time until my leave of absence ran out.  It would cause
some financial hardship, but we would survive.  Well, when Katie was 2
months old, Kelly came up to me and said "When are you going back to
work, Mommy?  I miss my friends and you are no fun to stay with."  I was
crushed - here I was, being a good mommy and my 2 1/2 year old didn't
appreciate it.  Fortunately for me, the company that I worked with
started a program where I could work part time while on my leave of
absence.  Needless to say, I was the first one in line.  My husband and
daughter commented on how happier I seemed.  Working part time was like
having the best of both worlds.  (This company has since refined this
program so that you even get prorated vacation and sick time while working
parttime!!!!!
 
Eventually, I had to go back to full time, but we managed.  Two children
and full time work worked fairly well.  Everyone seemed happy and the
company was flexable enough for me to get to programs at school, etc.
Having a housecleaning service come in once every other week helped give
us more time for the kids.
 
When we decided to try for baby #3, I figured that I'd take do the same
thing - work part time as long as possible and go back full time when
the baby was a toddler.  Things went according to plan, untill baby #3
decided to be babies #3 and #4!  Unexpected expenses wiped out our
savings (when you have a car that seats 5 and your family is going to
have 6 people, you HAVE to do something!!)  I worked part time from
the time Tim and Tom were 3 months old until they were about 15
months old.  Financially it was tough, but everyone was happy.
 
My bosses were satisfied with my work.  I was happy.  My husband was
happy (being a workaholic, he didn't take kindly to having to stay home
with sick children.  He is a wonderful and helpful father who does
all the same chores I do, but he can't stand to miss work.)
 
Unfortunately, this story doesn't have a happy ending.  The company that
I work for now doesn't have a clue about working mothers (or fathers
for that matter), but I had to quit my old job and this was the only
one available at the time.  I don't have nearly enough sick/personal
business time to do the things I need to do with my children.  I don't
get to school as often as I should.  The kids are sometimes hurt, but
for the most part they 'understand'.  I wish I could quit, but can't
(money again!, isn't it always?)  I am working on solutions, but it's
slow.  To top it off, One of my sons has had some problems and I think
that he will have problems in school.  I need to be able to give him
the help he needs.
 
I guess that what I am trying to say is that companies need to allow
more parttime work and jobsharing.  I know that parttime works - I have
seen it work.  Everybody benefits.  Why can't employeers see that
we need some flexability???????
 
I have to deal with a lot of self-imposed guilt because of working full
time, but I realize that I would NOT be doing my children a favor by
staying home full time.  They don't need to stay home with an unhappy
and mean woman.
 
Thanks for listening!
Teresa