From: pprior@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Paul A Prior)
Subject: [joke] An oldie but a goodie...
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 01:54:03 GMT

Don't remember who wrote it, but here is a Dr. Demento favorite...

                                  WET DREAM
 
     It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year.  I was driving in
downtown Atlantis.  My barracuda was it the shop so I was in a rented
stingray and it was overheating, so I pulled into a shell station.  They said
I'd blown a seal.  I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out
of it, Okay pal."  While they were doing that, I walked over to a place
called the oyster bar, a real dive, but I knew the owner, he used to play for
the Dolphins.  I said, "Hi Gill!" (You have to yell, he's hard of herring.)
 
     Gill was also down on his luck.  Fact is, he was barely keeping his head
below water.  I bellied up to the sand bar.  He poured me the usual, rusty
snails, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred, with a peanut butter and
jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the Mako.  I slipped him a fin, on
porpoise.  I was feeling good.  I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for
Jerry's Squids, just for the halibut.
 
     Well, the place was crowded.  We were packed in like sardines.  They
were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal.  What sole!
Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna, Salmon chanted evening,
and the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers, probably there to see the
bass player.
 
     One on them was this cute little yellow tail, and she was giving me the
eye, so I figured this was my chance for a little fun, you know, piece of
pisces.  But she said things I just couldn't fathom, she was too deep. Seemed
to be under a lot of pressure.  Boy could she drink, she drank like a... She
drank a lot!  I said, "What's your sign?"  She said, "Aquarium."  I said,
"Great, lets get tanked!"
 
     I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait.  I said, "Come
on baby, it'll only take a few minnows."  She threw me that same old line,
"Not tonight, I got a haddock."  And she wasn't kidding either cause in came
the biggest, meanest looking haddock I've ever seen come down the pike.  He
was covered with muscle.  He came over to me and said, "Listen shrimp, don't
you come crawling around here."  What a crab!  This guy was steamed.  I could
see the anchor in his eyes.  I turned to him and said, "Aaa bologna.  You're
just being shellfish."  Well, I knew there was going to be trouble and so did
gill because he was already on the phone to the cods.
 
     The haddock hits me with a sucker punch.  I catch him with a left hook.
He eels over.  It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a
mackerel, kelpless.  I said, "Forget the cods gill, this guy's gonna need a
sturgeon.  Well, the yellow tail was impressed with the way I landed her
boyfriend.  She came over to me and she said, "Hey big boy, you're really a
game fish, what's your name?"  I said, "Marlin."
 
     Well, from then on we had a whale of a time.  I took her to dinner.  I
took her to dance.  I bought her a bouquet of flounders, and then I went home
with her.  But what did I get for my troubles?  A case of the clams.
 



-- 
--------pprior@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu----(614) 621-8240----------------
Paul A. Prior    Ban anchors, not reef tanks   "With friends like this,   
3rd year medical student		          who needs anemones?"
The Ohio State U. College of Medicine   Tobacco Kills- Please don't smoke!
Newsgroups: alt.aquaria