HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: c60a-gx@danube.Berkeley.EDU (Jeffrey Twu)
Subject: Re: Liking too many people
Keywords: liking people like
Organization: University of California, at Berkeley
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 23:44:54 GMT

In article <1bhtl0INN3pj@agate.berkeley.edu> bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:
>Don't really know if this topic has been covered before or
>anything, but anyway, I'll try to keep this short. 
>Basically, I find myself liking almost every female I come
>in contact with.  I'm not really sure if it's healthy (ie,
>am I just overflowing with hormones, is that normal/natural?)
>Does this count as lechery, and if it does and I want to
>remove my lecherousness, any ideas on that?  For instance,
>there's this female in my class that I really like.  I've asked
>her out and such, and I think I like her alot (think about her
>alot and such), but a few days ago, I met this other female
>(who's involved with my suitemate, which makes me feel doubly
>guilty/evil for liking her) and I think I like her too.  Any
>ideas, help, etc?  Thanks in advance.

The key word, here, is "like."

You have the right to like (lust after?) as many people as you want.
After all, you know that in any long-term relationship (if that's what
you're after, I hope), ya' gotta know each other on an emotionally
intimate level.  And before you get there, you have to at some time be
attracted to them, whether by intellect, personality, or whatever.

Besides... you "like" your <friends>, don't you?  And would any
prospective girlfriend be offended by that?

Just watch the motives behind your "liking"; on one hand, it's very
upright/nice-guyish(TM) to like people because of their wonderful
personality/humor/companionship, but it's a bit short-sighted to <just>
lust.  Personally, I think it's ok to lust, as long as it's accompanied
with a judicious amount of "nice" likes...

Jeff
 _Please_remember:__________________________________________________________
|	Take it easy.							    |
|		...and don't forget that human touch.	   	            |
|<c60a-gx@danube.berkeley.edu>_________________________________<Jeffrey Twu>|
From: heckler@lab4.smcm.edu (David B. Heckler)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: how to tell if you are in love
Date: 12 Oct 92 00:57:11 GMT

In article <00961ED0.FF677700@Msu.oscs.montana.edu>  
gcv2010@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
> In article <16021@umd5.umd.edu>, heckler@lab5.smcm.edu (David B.  
Heckler) writes:
> >Love or Infatuation?
> 
> I think you need to give credit to Ann Landers for this one.

I got this from a friend of mine and decided to forward it since the  
thread was going through here anyway.  No intention of authorship was  
meant.

David

ps. why couldn't I reply to both replies at once? <smile>
From: dbc@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: request for hugs
Date: 16 Oct 92 20:49:33 GMT
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada


  
     A friend of mine recently broke up
with his live in girlfriend of 6 years
and is feeling down. She was especially
cruel during the breakup. I think he needs
a group e-mail hug to let him know just 
how special he really is.

     Send your good thoughts and love to:

     LUPUSAG@AC.DAL.CA

     Thank you for making Paul's life a little
brighter.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Liking too many people
From: jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner)
Date: 14 Oct 92 20:55:13 EST
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:
> Basically, I find myself liking almost every female I come
> in contact with.  I'm not really sure if it's healthy (ie,
> am I just overflowing with hormones, is that normal/natural?)
> Does this count as lechery, and if it does and I want to
> remove my lecherousness, any ideas on that?  For instance,
> there's this female in my class that I really like.  I've asked
> her out and such, and I think I like her alot (think about her
> alot and such), but a few days ago, I met this other female
> (who's involved with my suitemate, which makes me feel doubly
> guilty/evil for liking her) and I think I like her too.  Any
> ideas, help, etc?  Thanks in advance.

don't worry too much. sounds healthy to me, as long as you don't take 
any of it too seriously. the best way to make sure it's not just 
lechery is to take the opportunity to really get to know the people. 
then it's no longer just lust and fantasy. once you know what they're 
-really- like you can get down to the business of  making friends, 
having fun & maybe even finding that one special person.

you seem to be fairly comfortable approaching these people,
which is something a lot of people wish they could do. don't
waste it.

jason

--
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`
`,`  "I'd explain it to you, but your head would blow up." - S. Wright  `,`
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu ,`,`,`
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: dks@sr.com (Dave K. Sprow)
Subject: Re: What's Romantic?
Reply-To: dks@srhqla.UUCP (Dave K. Sprow)
Organization: Silent Radio, Los Angeles
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 17:51:45 GMT

In article <5gzz74n@rpi.edu> petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>
>  Just a simple little thread.  What do you think is more romantic: 
>
>(A) Really big romantic getaways,
>
>or
>
>(B) More romantic 'little things'? (e.g. a little card for no reson)
>

Yes...

>-- 
>Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and terrible
>scarcity.
>MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for MADD)
>
>
>
>
David S.
From: 01ksdavis@bsu-ucs.uucp (Rebel without a clue.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: What to bring on a first date?
Date: 12 Oct 92 23:36:03 GMT

In article <92286.001619MBUTCHER@MIAMIU.BITNET>, MBUTCHER@MIAMIU.BITNET writes:
> I have a question for everyone.  I have been out of the dating scene for about
> six years and now I find myself back in there.  My question is What is the
> best thing to bring on a first date?   Thanks for any and all advice.
>  
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Marc Butcher                   | I may not agree with what you say but I'm
> MBUTCHER@MIAMIU.ACS.MUOHIO.EDU | willing to defend to the death your right to
>                                | speak it. (apologies to whomever)
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-- 

	Well, you know, you really can't have a date without one important
thing.

	Money!

 ______________________________________________________________________________
|Kyle S. Davis				                                       |
|2000HD	1MbRAM//                                Hot VWs               1973     |
|1084s       //  Only Amiga makes it possible,    \/   Take 2 home-   311      |
|Oki 20   \\//   All others make it plausible.   \/\/  They're small.          |
|
|______________________________________________________________________________|
From: jml@cs.bham.ac.uk (Jane Littlehales)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re:  Won't have Sex with a Fat Guy
Date: 14 Oct 92 17:49:04 GMT
Organization: School of Computer Science, Birmingham Univ. UK

P.8188 in message <1992Oct13.161621.6126@bnr.ca> writes
>	She is totally turned off by his naked appearance to a point where 
>	she doesn't want to have sex with him anymore.

Its not just the fat that is at issue here but his attitude towards himself. Some
fat people are happy with themselves, like themselves and have a positive
outlook. Some don't particulary like the way they look, recognise this and try to
do something about it. Others have done what is typically described as 'let
themselves go'. It implies that they don't care about how they look anymore, or
not liking themselves anymore.

How people feel about themselves is very important to me. A confident, happy
person, of any shape or size can be attractive. Just as the most perfectly formed
greek god can be a real turn off if he doesn't care about himself. Maybe this is
what your friend is really talking about.

Consider it another way round. You are dating a beautiful woman. She spends some
time making sure she looks good (not *too* much, that can be even worse!),
clothes, hair, trim figure etc. You marry / settle into some kind of established
relationship. Out goes the freshly washed hair etc, in comes the curlers, slobbing
in front of the TV, putting on weight etc. 

Jane
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Subject: Re: Romance
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 06:03:36 GMT

In article <Iep6XyK00YV983Inxx@andrew.cmu.edu> "Paul S. Hrynko" <ph2a+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>There are rocky roads on every romance.  The timeless "If you love
>someone, set them free example" is practical but not applicable if you
>feel so tied to her that you can't possibly let her go.  Life is emotion
>and if you can't separate your feelings FOR her FROM your consciousness,
>you might as well forget "Giving her space."

I would say in this case, not only is it applicable, but mandatory. A
healthy relationship can't be built when there aren't two individuals who
can stand alone, but who will build something greater by standing together,
joining their strengths. If you are so entwined with someone that you can't
stand alone, you are leaning on them for strength, and thus sapping that
which could go into the relationship.
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
From: rbyrnes@alsvid.une.edu.au (Rod Byrnes)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: postings about sex
Date: 6 Oct 92 08:54:32 GMT
Organization: University of New England - Northern Rivers (Lismore)

From article <1992Oct1.041545.10537@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu>, by bakerb@helium.gas.uug.arizona.edu (Bryan W Baker ):
> I'm new to this, so bear with me.
> In response to those people who are avidly opposed to others posting 
> letters dealing with various sex related topics; they should realize that 
> in numerous areas (namely colleges, and certian companies) the powers that 
> be simply do not allow access to alt.sex or any of its' genre.  There are
> several such accounts here that don't allow access to those newsgroups.
> In fact, several of my close associates didn't realize that the was a
> news group alt.sex.  
> So, while it might be annoying at times to wade through all the sex talk 
> to get to the romance parts; at least your fortunate enough to have access
> to all, or most, of the newsgroups... AND if you don't like reading about
> penises (or is it peni ) then don't.  There is always 'n'.
> 
Allow me to add that if alt.romance turns into another alt.sex then those
organisations that disallow alt.sex will pretty soon disallow alt.romance
too. Then nobody benefits.

-- 
Rod Byrnes  Internet:  rbyrnes@alsvid.une.edu.au   Phone:  +61 66 891067
    University of New England, Northern Rivers (Lismore) NSW Australia
From: mlb@CISCO.COM (Marcia Bednarcyk)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Anniversery Gift Suggestions?
Date: 9 Oct 92 00:35:29 GMT

In article <1992Oct3.014333.19731@yang.earlham.edu>, patrickl@yang.earlham.edu writes:
|> 	Hi!  My girlfriend and I are about to celebrate our first 
|> aniversery and I'm searching for ideas for a gift (or gifts.)  I'm 
|> trying to make our anniversery an extra special one and I'm at a loss for
|> ideas.  Any suggestions?

Yes. Think back about all the good times you've had together. Think about the
ones that she seemed to have the best time with - the ones she talked about,
the ones that made her eyes light up. Think about what she's talked about
liking to do. Think about the things you've given her, and what she's 
appreciated most.

Now, with all these thoughts, look for the common thread. That should tell
you what she really likes. Find a gift that fits :-).

In short, we can't tell you what she'd like because we don't know her. But
you do. And the best gifts are the ones that take into consideration the
recipient's tastes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                        ADDRESS: mlb@cisco.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."
"... the meaning of life is to be happy, try not to hurt people, and hope
you fall in love."
Hey, did this make it out to alt.romance?
From: patstew@oz.plymouth.edu (Pat Steward)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Won't have Sex with a Fat Guy
Date: 15 Oct 92 16:49:05 GMT
Reply-To: patstew@oz.plymouth.edu (Pat Steward)
Distribution: na
Organization: Plymouth State College - Plymouth, N.H.

In article <1bk31aINNrhv@bigboote.WPI.EDU> walkerr@bigwpi.WPI.EDU (Robert A Walker) writes:
>
>       What is worse is when your SO constantly complains about how big they
>are getting and nevers does anything about, even with constant help, like come
>on lets go work out, or "I jsut bought you an excersize bike that you asked
>for, now can you at least sit on it once?"  What do i do in this type of
>situation?  There is consent on both sides that said person needs to lose
>weight, but said person refuses to do anything about it. Said person also
>complains consatantly about being over weight.  Whats the deal, I don't get
>it will someone please explain it to me.  Please

The deal is that, for some people, overeating is a *disease*, similar
to alcholism.  The alternative deal is that we've been culturally
trained to think there's something "wrong" with fat people -- why is
that?
-- 
Pat Martin Steward                          patstew@oz.plymouth.edu
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is;
I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express senti-
ments that differentiate me from a doormat.       Rebecca West, 1913
From: aa595@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dan Duvall)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: .		2 haikus
Date: 9 Oct 92 03:49:39 GMT
Reply-To: aa595@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dan Duvall)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc5.ins.cwru.edu


Every happy man
has a devastated twin
with a shattered heart

	* * *

I sit in the dark
playing sad songs on my flute
as tears warm my cheek
 				 -D. Duvall   9/4/92
-- 
aa595@cleveland.freenet.edu  /// :::::::Dan Doooovall:::::::  ///
Organization: Junior, Psychology, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
From: erisande@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Kryst the Philosopher)
Subject: Concerning CASTLE (Please Read)
Organization: Quitters Inc.
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 07:23:38 GMT

	Can someone help me with the CASTLE series?  I need to have
some things to work with:

	The main castle's name
	Character names and descriptions in the series
	A mailing list of people who write in the series

	I would enjoy hearing from each and every one of you in the
series by EMail, especially the descriptions of the characters.  I
would also like to know if anyone has a complete archive of the series
so I can see what has happened in the past.  I would like to build my
'Life Beyond' story into the scenery, and make it a part of what goes
on.  I would like to have permission to use character sketches in the
stories to make the story more connected with the other areas.  As I
say, please EMail me a reply.  Thanks...
							Erin -
-- 
He waits to hear her say 'forgive',
but she just drops her pearl-black eyes
and prays to hear him say 'I love you',
but he tells no more lies.
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: robg@citr.uq.oz.au (Rob Geraghty)
Subject: Re: romantic things
Organization: Prentice Centre, University of Queensland
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 04:03:17 GMT

johnsons@cheshire.oxy.edu (Sarah Curtis Johnson) writes:

>In article <robg.718440364@citr.uq.oz.au> robg@citr.uq.oz.au (Rob Geraghty) writes:
>>Oh, by the way - gotta run home and make some inroads into the punnets
>>of strawberries waiting for me there (must get some ice-cream on the
>    ^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>way)...  ssllllluuuuuuuurrrrrppppp!!!!
>>see you all tomorrow while I'm recovering ;-)
>>PS Strawberries here I come... yay!!

>Wait!!  I'm not ready!!  I gotta clean my room, and I have this reading to do, 
>and...oh, I get it.  Um, never mind...:)

It's OK Sarah - the only way I'll be sharing strawberries with you is in
cyberspace - so it doesn't matter how messy our respective rooms are ;)
(I don't think I'd be paying much attention to the state of the room
anyway ;)

>*jealousy*
>I wanna pig out on strawberries too...*pout*

Pout not!  There's plenty more where they came from 
All you have to do is drop by and - oh but you're in
um.. oh dear

Have a bucketful of virtual strawberries on me ;)

Better still, here's a chocolate fondue to dip them in!
<sluurrrrpppp> :-)

Now, what else can we add to the fondue?  Let's see - there's imperial
mandarins, kiwi fruit, raspberries, some delicious apples, grapes...

<growwwlll>

Oops I think my stomach has noticed my train of thought - gotta go
shopping folks - byee!

Rob
Official Journeyman-Harper of the RFA

--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rob Geraghty                         | Time, flowing like a river
robg@durian.citr.oz.au               | Time, beckoning me
CITR                                 | APP
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: coates@newton.physics.uq.oz.au (Tony Coates)
Subject: Re: expectations
Organization: Physics Dept. The University of Queensland
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 07:21:32 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.170405.10595@pony.Ingres.COM>, jlane@Ingres.COM (Judi Lane) writes:
|> 
|> [well thought out discussion about relationships deleted for brevity -
|>  if you haven't read it, I recommend it!]
|> 

Living as I do in Australia, it does occur to me that meeting someone
over the net is likely to lead to such geographical problems; you
probably are best off in LA, since this is where many correspondents
seem to come from.  Mind you, Rob the Journeyman Harpist works just in
the next building from me here, so sometimes we're not all so far apart,
but in any case Rob and I aren't each other's type :-) .  What do you
do?  Well, unless you can both direct your careers (geographically) to
the one place, clearly there is little you can do, except to be friends.
	As the world gets smaller, and people travel more, this becomes
more of a problem, as compared to earlier times when people tended to
stay put for the duration of their lives.  Those of us who work overseas
are also at risk of meeting someone "there", and then having to return. 
What do you do then?  Yes, of course it's easier when one partner gives
up his/her ambitions, but I wouldn't like to have to ask someone to do
that for me, though such principles can often fall prey to pragmitism.
	Some might argue that the answer is not to seek a single partner
for life, but to change as life and career changes.  I always feel ill
at ease with such suggestions, however, particularly if the couple have
children; my experience is that children whose parents split up never
really learn to cope fully with the shock, in the sense of overcoming
fears that their lives are likely to go the same way.
	In any case, if you want to meet a partner who lives in the same
region as you, the Internet is not the place to go - try a tennis club,
or origami lessons.  After all, what could be more frustrating than
meeting the right person, but one who lives in the wrong place.  Better,
perhaps, to choose the best person who lives in the right place; all
such choices are compromises, since none of us are perfect.
	Anyway, enough of my opinions!
					*hugs to all*
							Tony.
[Knight Defender of the Grail of Human Dignity]
From: darin@KAMAN.COM (Darin S. Lory)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Poem: White Rose
Date: 9 Oct 92 21:46:12 GMT
Reply-To: Darin S. Lory <darin@kaman.com>
Organization: Kaman Sciences Corporation - Utica, New York, USA


This one is Evie, my love....

                "A White Rose"
 
The red rose whispers of passion,
        And the white rose breathes of love;
Oh, the red rose is a falcon,
        And the white rose is a dove.
 
But I send you a cream-white rosebud,
        With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest,
        Has a kiss of on the lips.
 
 
	-Darin
From: crerar@rodan.UU.NET
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: The passing of a friend...
X-OLD-Message-ID: <1behu9INNaip@rodan.UU.NET>
Date: 13 Oct 1992 09:11:37 -0400

The Journeyman Harper (Rob Geraghty) writes:
>Apologies to the irrelevance of this post to the tone of the group, but
>I wanted to ask the opinions of some sensitive, caring people ;-)

No need to apologize.  That's what we are here for.

>A very good friend of mine died of cancer recently and I would like to
>write to his family expressing my condolences.  Could I ask for some
>feedback on some words I want to send?  I hope that this doesn't sound
>trite or fake - he was a good friend and a poet himself.  I'd like to do
>justice to his memory.

[A touching remembrance regretfully deleted.  Flip back through your news and
read it again.]

Rob, I think it is a very kind and thoughtful gesture to write to his parents.
Whether you express yourself in poetry or prose, you will be doing them a 
kindness.  I'm certain they will be happy to know that their son is remembered
and that he made a difference in someone's life even though his own was cut
short.  You should not worry about whether your words sound trite as long as
they are true.

>Rob
>Official  Journeyman-harper of the RFA
>
>Mourning the loss of a better harper than he...

**friendly hugs** I hope there is someone as thoughtful to help you through 
your grief.

The Official Raconteur
-- 
Andy Crerar                     crerar@uunet.uu.net
CS Administrative Asst.         uunet!crerar
From: t923335@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au (IronEagle )
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: romantic french phrases
Date: 14 Oct 92 07:30:47 GMT
Organization: RMIT Computer Centre
NNTP-Posting-Host: minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au

robg@citr.uq.oz.au (Rob Geraghty) writes:

>t923335@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au (IronEagle ) writes:

>>>>>> Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?        :-)
>>>>>>Which is:  Would you like to go to bed with me?

>>Hmmmm.....I seem to remember an advert on the television for
>>yoguht(sp?) which had a similar line to the above in it....
> ^^^^^^
> yoghurt :)

So, I cant spell!  =)

>There *was* an advertising campaign used a while ago with the line

>"Voulez-vous Nestle' avec moi ce soir?"

>It was advertising some really nice desserts
>(with lots of french models making suggestive faces...)

>Don't remember Yoplait using the same line... :-/

Hmmmm.....well that sounds right...... =)

>Rob
>Official Journeyman-Harper of the RFA

-IE!

-- 
 ############################################################
 ##  Never assume the obvious, as it is rarely the truth!  ##
 ## t923335@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au Iron@Eagle.aero.rmit.oz.au##
 ############################################################
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: roth@sitter.ips.id.ethz.ch (Martin Roth)
Subject: Re: Another Story from theGypsy
Organization: ETH Zurich (Swiss Federal Institute of Technology)
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 12:32:09 GMT

bz687@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (E. Andi Woods) writes:
>
>                          The Birthday Bouquet
>                          --'-,-<@    @>-,-'--
>
> [yes, deleted...]

I liked that one very much, although I can't exactly tell you what
makes me feel like this. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Martin Roth                  |    "Live is something to do when you can't
email: roth@ips.id.ethz.ch   |                             get to sleep."
finger: roth@sitter.ethz.ch  |                             -Fran Lebowitz
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
[don't trust the "from:" line. I know it's wrong. Use the adr in the sig]


Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat