HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: lou@netlink.cts.com (Louis Puccio)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: FuNnY NaMeS
Date: 26 Jul 92 04:26:15 GMT
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

chimps@binah.cc.brandeis.edu writes:

> My sister knew a girl whose full name is Mundi Morning Mail. Poor kid!

did she get the blues frequently?

--                    
INTERNET:  lou@netlink.cts.com (Louis)
UUCP:   ...!nosc!ryptyde!netlink!lou
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sybok@athena.mit.edu (The Rifleman)
Subject: Re: chicken/egg debate
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 04:58:37 GMT

In article <1992Jul27.034602.3437@cs.uow.edu.au> u9147063@cs.uow.edu.au (Richard Barry Ling) writes:
>rhall@ruacad.ac.runet.edu (Robert Hall) writes:
>
>> The age-old question of which came first -the chicken or the egg-
>> has finally been answered!  Logic dictates it must have been the
>> chicken because the egg is not yet sexually mature. 
>
>Rubbish!
>
>Eggs were invented over 1 billion years ago by marine invertebrates.
>
>Birds weren't invented until around 60 million years ago, let alone
>the particular species which is the domestic chicken.

Invented?  Yeah, scientists on Mars worked hard to invent these things.
I suspect you meant "evolved."  

Actually, however, archeologists have discovered a petrified bucket of KFC
inside a 65 million-year-ago sedimentary layer of rock near the
Mediterranean Basin.  Inside, a platinum tablet inscribed with a bizarre
language of symbols, recently deciphered by a Cray III, provides a derivation
of the 11 secret herbs and spices directly from the relativistic Schroedinger
Equation!

Xref: sparky rec.humor:24265 seattle.general:2274 pnw.general:1594
From: bchurch@oucsace.cs.ohiou.edu (Robert Church)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,seattle.general,pnw.general
Subject: Re: Who said "Wherever you go..." (was Stupid Road Signs)
Keywords: Buckaroo Banzai, 8th dimension, novel, read
Date: 23 Jul 92 00:35:43 GMT
Organization: Ohio University School of Art,. Athens

In article <54msNB1w164w@eisley.seanews.wa.com> wood@eisley.seanews.wa.com (Ken Wood) writes:
>siemion@milton.u.washington.edu (John Siemion) writes:
>
>> kurt@eskimo.celestial.com (Kurt Cockrm 762-6417) writes:
>> 
>> >In article <crystal.710741719@glia> crystal@glia.biostr.washington.edu (Crys
>> >>In <josh.710444061@mowgli> josh@cqs.washington.edu (Josh Hayes) writes:
>> >>
>> 
>> >kurt@grogatch.celestial.com (Kurt Cockrum)
>> >"Wherever you go, there you are" (who originally said this?)
>>   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>> 
>> Rent a copy of "The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai" and you'll find out.
>> 
>> siemion@u.washington.edu
>> 
>
>
>     Better yet read the book if you can find a copy.  It's even better 
>than the movie.  Really, trust me.
>
It's not really 'safe' to attribute lines to BB. One of the beauties of
this classic is the way they played on previous movies and especially 
music. Like the references to Quinn the Eskimo. I didn't know about the
book. I'll have to find it. The video has been rereleased after moratorium
and is now selling for $9.95.



-- 
*********************************************
*    bob church                             *
*    bchurch@oucsace.cs.ohiou.edu           *
*    D-8195 NFS #27                         *
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dunne@rtsg.mot.com (Jim Dunne)
Subject: Re: Advice For the Newly Married
Keywords: Marriage
Organization: Motorola Inc., Cellular Infrastructure Group
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 23:19:11 GMT

In article <19338@optima.cs.arizona.edu> jaw@cs.arizona.edu (Jim Wilson) writes:
>Someone wrote:
>.>	I'm going to be the MC at my cousin's wedding, where
>.>I'd like to share some humorous advice with the newly married
>.>couple.  Got any suggestions?

   What's the best advice on getting married?
   Don't...
   (this one is something like 2000 years old, ancient Greeks or someone)


   After all, marriage *is* the leading cause of divorce.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: smithrud@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Carolyn Louise Smithrud)
Subject: Re: JOKE
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 19:35:43 GMT

In article <13710@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>In article <1992Jul23.174142.9209@b8.ingr.com> ratter@b8.ingr.com (Ray Ratte) writes:
>|Came across this joke in another group on the net.
>
>[elevator joke deleted]
>
>If you would have asked me about this joke that I posted to that other group
>I would have told you that I posted this joke a couple of weeks ago here.
>
>I guess this isn't the first time that the same joke has been posted here
>twice.  If I see that dyxlexic anorexic joke one more time I'm going to
>puke.
>

You really should wait for the bulimia jokes first.  :-)
From: dlf@aber.ac.uk (David Fenerty)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Stupidity (was Re: that'd be in the butt, bob)
Date: 22 Jul 92 14:34:39 GMT
Organization: University of Wales, Aberystwyth

I was once talking to a none-too-bright friend of mine about the Commonwalth
Games, to be staged in Edinburgh, about to be boycotted by some countries
because of Britain's stand on apartheid.

"It's a shame America isn't going in for these Games" he commented, "I reckon
Russia will clean up now"

I asked him "Don't you know what countries are involved in the Commonwealth
Games?"

"Sure I do" he replied "It's all of the countries in the Common Market isn't
it?"
From: stevek@providence (Steven Klitzing)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Denny's and Dan Quayle
Keywords: raw restaurant joke, political joke
Date: 30 Jul 92 17:26:09 GMT
Organization: Informix Software, Inc.

I went to "The Last Laugh" in San Jose and heard a comedian tell this  
amusing joke:

"It takes the human body 24 hours to turn food into sh_t.  However, it
only takes Denny's 6 minutes."

Then he told a Dan Quayle joke.

"What did Dan Quayle get on his IQ test?  --Drool."
From: tdh@ksr.com (Dave Hudson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: 1992 dimisms
Date: 31 Jul 92 12:58:03 EDT
Distribution: usa

Some variations on an old theme:

w/ Bush: "Buddy, can you spare a dime?"
w/ Quayle: "Buddy, can you spell `a dime'?"

w/ Clinton: "Buddy, can you spend a dime?"
w/ Gore: "Buddy, can you spill a dime?"

w/ Marrou: "Buddy, can you C-Span a dime?"
w/ Lord: "Buddy, can you splint a dime?"

w/o Perot: "Buddy, can you spoil a dime?"

				David Hudson
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: schmburg@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Greg Schomburg )
Subject: Re: foo
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 19:12:05 GMT

This seems particularly funny to me, as three years ago here at the
U of Illinolis some misguided youths attempted to burn the word 'foo'
into the turf at memorial stadium.

Instead of the desired result, they nearly burnt the whole stadium down,
and the entire turf had to be replaced at the cost of around a couple of
million dollars.  I guess the stadium really was FUBAR, though, so 
count it!

(I bet if it was the library that burnt down it would have had to
wait a few years)


-- 
greg schomburg                          If we shadows have offended,
schmburg@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu             Think but this and all is mended,
schom@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu                That you have but slum'bred here
                                      While these visions did appear.  -W.S.  
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gnoer1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Geoff Noer)
Subject: Re: French Jokes
Organization: Swarthmore College
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 15:04:17 GMT

In article <1992Jul23.123748.17853@news.columbia.edu>,
pw15@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Philip  Wang) writes:
> 
> >>A man bought three kittens and brought them home.  One day, he was 
> >>outside working on the yard, and the kittens decided to play in the
> >>fountain.  The kittens fell in and started drowning, so the man had
> >>to save them.  He told them, "You better not play in the fountain
> >>because I might not be here to save you next time."
> >>
> >>A few weeks later, the kittens decided to play in the fountain again.
> >>They fell in, and a stranger saw them, but he got there too late to save
> >>them.  The stranger went up to the front door, and when the man answered,
> >>the stranger said, "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq."
> >>
> >
> >Maybe I'm just not with it today but I don't actually get this joke.......
> >-- 
> Maybe if Roger had mentioned that there were actually four kittens and that 
> their names were Un, Deux, Trois, and Quatre...

No, there are three.  If the french is mispronounced, you get "Un, deux,
trois, cats sank"

------------
Geoffrey J. Noer       gnoer1@cc.swarthmore.edu
Disclaimer: I don't speak for anyone but
myself.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:24737 alt.folklore.urban:19967
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Radio pranks
Date: 28 Jul 92 20:14:28 GMT
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

disab@autodesk.com (Dave DiSabatino) writes:
> Where do they get their information that all these people deny it?

There is a record album by the Credibility Gap (including Harry Shearer)
that has one of the most spot on imitations of the Carson show that I
have ever heard.  When I played it off a cassette tape in college, 
several people claimed to remember seeing it.  It had gags like the
effeminate homophobe being put down by the Macho gay Air Force officer,
and the sexy product lady coming out and JC asks 
"And what kind of work do you do?"
"I am a prostitute"  <Big cheers from audience>
"Well, I never know what to say to a prostitute, except
Thank you, and good night!"
Maybe the same thing happened to you.

--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: lange@reg.triumf.ca (QUANTUM PARTICLE: THE DREAMS OF WHICH STUFF IS MADE)
Subject: Re: Band Names
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: TRIUMF: Tri-University Meson Facility
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 01:24:00 GMT

Here is some Canadian University Folklore:

	A few years back, (well, make that many years back. ~10 or so.) at the
University of Saskatchewan (in Saskatoon for those of non-culture) there was a
student band that went by the moniker of "The Flaming Hemerroids" (sp?)

	Some big-wig at the school didn't like the name of the band and so
banned, a la Toronto and the "Bare Naked Ladies",  them until they changed
their name, which they promptly did...



	to "The Burning Sensations".








				Ya Gotta Love It !

---
TLB:  MP's should be restricted to two terms in office: one in Ottawa and one
	in Kingston.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: oneputt@anuenue.cba.hawaii.edu (MARK LEE)
Subject: RE: JOKES MAILING LIST
Organization: SML Student Network, CBA/UH
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 21:06:34 GMT

PLEASE ADD ME TO THE LIST.  THANKS.

MARK...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Food Vending Machines
From: Simon.Cole@comp.vuw.ac.nz (Simon Richard Cole)
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 20:48:51 GMT
 <1992Jul23.191425.618@ncsu.edu> <1992Jul29.175742.8642@cbnewsl.cb.att.com> <1992Jul30.091712@axion.bt.co.uk>
Organization: Dept. of Comp. Sci., Victoria Uni. of Wellington, New Zealand.


In article <1992Jul30.091712@axion.bt.co.uk>, pcellik@axion.bt.co.uk (Peter SPHINX Cellik) writes:
|> 
|> In article <1992Jul29.175742.8642@cbnewsl.cb.att.com>, saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal) writes:
|> |> In article <1992Jul23.191425.618@ncsu.edu> echyatt@eos.ncsu.edu (EDWARD
|> |> CRAIG HYATT) writes:
|> |> 
|> |> >In article <y!gm=2b@lynx.unm.edu> evilted@vesta.unm.edu (Evilted) writes:
|> |> 
|> |> >>In article <1992Jul19.185325.17058@ncsu.edu> echyatt@eos.ncsu.edu
|> |> >>(EDWARD CRAIG HYATT) writes:
|> |> 
|> |> >>>In article <oa65NB3w165w@major.panix.com> dos@major.panix.com (Dave
|> |> >>>O'Shea) writes:
|> |> 
|> |> >>>>> Did Mike get his 50 cents back from the vending company?
|> |> 
|> |> >>>>Hey, we don't know that he never got his soda...
|> |> 
|> |> >>>I'm sure that either way, he was crushed.
|> |> 
|> |> >>But was it orange or grape?
|> |> 
|> |> >Don't know, but by the time he got to
|> |> >drink it, it had gone flat.
|> |> 
|> |> And when he got back to his cubicle, his boss canned him.
|> |> -- 
|> 
|> I think it was a Diet drink, he was looking pretty thin.
|> 
Possibly, I thought it was Decaffinated as well - he was looking twitchy
|> 
|> ====================================================
|> === Kill others only if you wish to be killed.   ===
|> ===                                       SPHINX ===   
|> ====================================================
-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|								              |
| "ONE MAN CAN CHANGE THE WORLD WITH A BULLET IN THE RIGHT PLACE" - if...     |
|									      |
From: boucher@hpcc01.corp.hp.com (Richard A Boucher Jr)
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 21:59:57 GMT
Subject: Babies
Organization: the HP Corporate notes server
Newsgroups: rec.humor


Position DOES influence the sex of your child...


3 pregnant gals are sitting around discussing the sex of their children to be.
The first says "I know I'm going to have a boy because my husband was on top".

The second says "I know I'm going to have a girl  because I was on top".

The third sits there quietly until one of the others prompts her "So, what are
you going to have?"

Looking embarrassed and sheepish she replies "Well.....puppies, I guess".
From: lupusag@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Newbie Alert!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 30 Jul 92 16:08:46 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

	A good friend of mine just got her user name and now has an e-mail
account. Would anyone out there send her some mail, say hello, and, while your
at it, tell her your favorite dumb blonde joke. Her name is Angela and you
can reach her at   AMBC@AC.DAL.CA    . So, let's fill up her node with
nonsens!!!


	many thanks,

	PAG

lupusag@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ggreene@gimliasd.contel.com (Gerald Greene)
Subject: Re: > Jokes mailing list
Reply-To: ggreene@gimli.asd.contel.com
Organization: GTE Federal Systems
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 12:46:14 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.203415.25046@porthos.cc.bellcore.com>, jjp@dancer.uucp (24476-power) writes:
|> Please add me to the list also
|> Jim
|> jjp@dancer.cc.bellcore.com
|> 
Please put me on the jokes mailing list too!!!!
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: French Jokes
Date: 25 Jul 92 00:30:15 GMT
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

The French they are a peculiar race
Parlez Vous
The French they are a peculiar race
Parlez Vous
The French they are a peculiar race
They piss with their feet and they fuck with their face
Hinkey Dinkey Parlez Vouz

(From old war song - please don't flame me).

--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hargrove@ramirez.mitre.org (Paul H. Hargrove)
Subject: Re: NAMES - FUNNY
Organization: Mitre Corporation, McLean, VA
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 14:50:35 GMT

In article <MICHAEL.92Jul21164834@adriaan.bu.edu> michael@adriaan.bu.edu (Michael Chaplin) writes:
[stuff deleted]
>Then there's the one we've all seen on Carson:
>Merry Christmas.

My mother actually knew a Mary Chrysmus (sp?) in college,
and ther was a Buffy Beverage in my high school.
--------
Paul H. Hargrove, speaking for myself.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: fred@dickens.com (Fred Stearns)
Subject: Re: Bank Names
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 13:09:36 GMT
Organization: Dickens Data Systems, Inc.

In article <ecacoB2w164w@opus.mcds.com> speers@opus.mcds.com (Daniel E. Speers) writes:
>hallan@cix.compulink.co.uk (Hugh Allan) writes:
>
>> Well for me certainly the best ever band name cropped up on the Comic
>> Strip Live album:
>> 
>> Severed Head and the Neck Fuckers
>> 
>
>  Barbecue Bob & The Spare Ribs  (for real!)

Some friends of mine in High School had a band that they called:

Plastic Jesus and the Fuzzy Dice


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: schurko@ccu.umanitoba.ca (Robert Schurko)
Subject: Re: Band Names
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Canada
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 23:05:35 GMT

A classic punk sort of name:



		Joe Puke & and the Chunky Bits

-- 
*************************************************************************
*Rob Schurko			schurko@ccu.umanitoba.ca		*
*Chemistry Department		rob@one3.chem.umanitoba.ca		*
*University of Manitoba							*
From: sut@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Secure Unix Team KID01)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Road signs
Date: 29 Jul 92 11:47:55 GMT
Organization: ICL Bracknell, UK

In article <1wgLoB2w164w@netlink.cts.com> lou@netlink.cts.com (Louis Puccio) writes:
>cadams@athena.cs.uga.edu (Clark Adams) writes:
>
>> In article <1992Jul22.160218.24946@smartstar.com> syspb@smartstar.com (Paul) 
>> >There is a park nearbye called 'Tuckers Grove'.  The other day I went by
>> >there and somebody had changed the 'T' to an 'F'.  Now the sign says
>> >'Fuckers Grove'.  I thought it was pretty funny.
>> 

One of our Conservative Members of Parliament (Alan Amos, NO relation!) 
resigned just before this year's general election. He'd been found "performing
an act of gross indecency" with another man. Funny thing is, they were
caught in a place called Gobblers Gultch, on Hampstead Heath. Big blow
for his career, that.


-- 
 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 | Martyn Amos -- Secure UNIX Team, ICL Kidsgrove, Staffs., ST7 1TL    O/  |
 | mra@skoda.zen.icl.co.uk -- Tel. (0782) 771000 Ext. 3152            /|   |
 | >>>>>>>>>>>>>> T E R M I N A L L Y   G R O O V Y <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<   / >  |
 |            Disclaimer: My mental state is not ICL's fault.              |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jim@n5ial.chi.il.us
Subject: Re: NEEDED: C to Cobol converter
Originator: jim@eddie
Reply-To: jim@n5ial.chi.il.us
Organization: me?  have you seen my desk?  : -)
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 20:43:22 GMT

In article <92211.132553MDSQC@CUNYVM.BITNET> <MDSQC@CUNYVM.BITNET> writes:
>What's IMHO?

IMHO is an FLA --- in other words, YABA.  usually found in listings of the
more common TLAs/FLAs (goes along with IMNSHO).  other common TLAs, FLAs,
etc., include WYSIWYG, WIMP, ST:TOS, ST:TNG, and so on....  :-)

say, for future reference, anyone know how to reply to such a question
using virtually nothing but TLAs, FLAs, and lots of smileys at the end?  :-}

>Send it to me.

just did.
   --jim

PS:  IMHO == in my humble opinion

\input std_disclaimer                     % 73 DE N5IAL (/9)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"[...] the plural of `mongoose' ought to be `polygoose'." [Jargon file 2.9.10]

INTERNET:  jim@n5ial.chi.il.us  |  grahj@gagme.chi.il.us  |  j.graham@ieee.org
UUCP:  gagme!n5ial!jim@clout.chi.il.us
AMATEUR RADIO:  n5ial@n9hsi (Chicago.IL.US.Earth)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: chaw@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (S. S. Chawathe)
Subject: Re: Stupid Road Signs 
Organization: CS Department, Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: 31 Jul 92 20:25:56 GMT


In article <1992Jul13.171108.215@ucsu.Colorado.EDU> rob@spot.Colorado.EDU (Rob Cuthbertson) writes:
>Saw one yesterday, "NO PARKING IN MIDDLE OF STREET"  Is this really a problem?

Spotted this on the SF Bay Bridge today: "NO STOPPING OR TURNING ON THE BRIDGE"

-Chaw
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Political Pun
From: asturman@casper.cs.uct.ac.za (A Sturman)
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 14:19:36 GMT
Distribution: global
Organization: Computer Science Department, University of Cape Town

What music does the Democratic VP candidate dance to?

               algorithms  :)

(apologies to pun-haters everywhere)
Andrew

/////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Andrew Sturman          :  Jack In
asturman@zaphod.cs.uct.ac.za   		: Turn On
University of Cape Town, South Africa			: Burn Out
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\//////////////////////////////////////////

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rwright@nmsu.edu (WRIGHT)
Subject: Napoleon XIV
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Distribution: rec
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 05:48:52 GMT

Howdy.

We've been listening to Napoleon XIV's tape as re-released on Rhino
Records and started to wonder about this guy.  Anyone out there have
any information, biographical or otherwise, about him?  Please respond
via private email.  Thanks.

Allen Wright  rwright@nmsu.edu
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: JOKES MAILING LIST
Date: 29 Jul 92 00:17:06 GMT
 <92210.172153EEG3@psuvm.psu.edu>
Organization: The Ohio State University

<EEG3@psuvm.psu.edu> writes in Message-ID: <92210.172153EEG3@psuvm.psu.edu>
>
>Please do not add me to the list
>
>Thank You
>Eric Grele

Me neither.

J.P. Papai
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: aa395@yfn.ysu.edu (Perry Tarantine)
Subject: Re: Snigglets
Organization: Youngstown State University/Youngstown Free-Net
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 20:45:33 GMT


ESSO-ASSO - The person who cuts through the gas station on the 
     corner to avoid a red light.

BEVIMIRAGE - The Black ring on a two litre bottle of cola that makes
     it appear to still contain soda when empty.
-- 
Perry Tarantine  aa395  /*/       ///     /*/ Amiga: Computer for the
SysOp of the RPG Sig   /*/       ///     /*/     Creative Mind.
Type "Go RPG" and     /*/    \\\///     /*/No. 1 complaint of comic strip chars
Join the Adventure   /*/      \XX/     /*/     "I don't have thumbs!"
From: vida@mdavcr.mda.ca (Vida Morkunas)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: MESSAGE FOR WOMEN
Date: 30 Jul 92 22:58:35 GMT
Organization: MacDonald Dettwiler, 13800 Commerce Parkway, Richmond, BC, Canada  V6V 2J3

In article <10180@disc.dla.mil> iqr0028@disc.dla.mil (Robin Szwec) writes:
>
>A WOMAN IS OFTEN MEASURED by the things she cannot control.  She is measured
>by the way her body curves or doesn't curve, by where she is flat or straight
>or round.  She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers, by all
>the outer things that don't ever add up to who she is on the inside, and
>so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can 
>control, by who she is and who she is trying to become, because as every 
>woman knows, measurements are only statistics, and STATISTICS LIE.

That's from a Nike advertisement, by the way.  Not original work from Ms Szec.