HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: gosper@opal.cs.tu-berlin.de (Carsten)
Subject: Re: General Theory of Depression
Organization: Techn. University of Berlin, Germany
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 10:27:05 GMT

"I am moving towards the second and have been for at least six months now.
I am never happy--manic occasionally, but certainly not happy.  I don't enjoy
life (at least not the the second and have been for at least six months now.
I am never happy--manic
occasionally, but certainly not happy.  I don't enjoy life (at least not the
things that made up life thus far) any more, and thus have stopped living
all together.  Beauty in music, nature, humans is what kept me on this
fucking planet for twenty years--but for some reason, it now longer re-
vitalizes me like it used to.  

I figure at this rate I will either have to get religeoius or find a nice
high bridge..."

Welcome to the club of potential suicide candiates... I really don't know what
exactly it is that happens to so many people at the age around twenty, but 
having been there myself I can strongly relate to what you described.

First time I started feeling down and completely unmotivated was right after
school; I was wondering whether all the plans I had made for the future were
"right" (in terms of being successful one day  - whatever that means- ,
achieving all the goals I had set for myself). Also, I had this constant
fear of missing out on something... that I wasn't making the most the of
present.

Within a year life became a nightmare - I had a hard time enjoying myself,
became a loner - good therapy when you're depressed ;-) - all my basic skills
of socializing were gone. When depressed, you not only tend to torture 
yourself, but in addition you become surprisingly good at pissing everybody
else off, too.
But I believe there's one good aspect about severe depressions: spending
all that time "inside" my mind gave me a chance to reflect upon all the
things of the past - although, at times it seemed almost impossible to
acknowledge and/or accept them - and wonder about the "meaning of life"
(DON'T EVER DO THAT - IT ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE !). But wanting back my old
life and the way I used to look at it, I had to take the initiative. Talking 
to my friends and parents helped me a great deal - now, I truly appreciate 
peace of mind...
To be totally honest, I thought of suicide (I guess everyone does sometime...)
but I reached the conclusion that no matter how frustrating and senseless
life might appear it's not worth wasting !
Try getting something out of "Dead poets society" - it worked for me.


That's all...

carsten


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 gosper@cs.tu-berlin.de		"Gravity is a myth - earth sucks !"
    cae@dcon1.hmi.de
From: llama@tramp.cc.utexas.edu (sine nomine)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: Sexual Angst
Date: 8 Jan 93 19:15:25 GMT
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Alan Dye (adye@mail.boi.hp.com) wrote:

: He went so far as to say that, "a woman feels quite lucky if she can get
: it many times in an evening."
: [...]
: Going with the flow of the conversation, I enquired about the method (i.e.
: quality) since it seemed that it was of little import.  His reply was that,
: "quantity, not quality, is key."  To me this seemed a bit frantic, and I
: must confess that I imaged, in my mind, pictures of various animals in 
: rut.  To me, it seemed a wanton disregard of his partner's needs.

he's full of himself. and full of shit.

: I invite your affirmation or condemnation.

although it's flattering and fun when someone occasionally wants to
more than once or twice in a given night, your roommate's idea of sex
sounds like it would be boring, not to mention painful. if all i
wanted was that, i could buy a vibrator that squirts. sheesh.

: Alan 'Oh God, am I putting this in the right spot?..." Dye

if you don't know by now...

--
sine | deb
sorry, couldn't resist.
From: zlsiida@fs1.mcc.ac.uk (dave budd)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Correct pronunciation of Xibo
Date: 8 Jan 93 15:22:26 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre

At one time this was practically Xibo's personal group, so I guess he can 
post pretty much what he wants.
Let's see if the famed K..i..b..o spots this one.
The "Correct pronunciation of" string might trigger his omniscience.

        Never believe an experiment until it is confirmed by theory 
    Dave Budd, MCC, Oxford Rd, Manchester, England    (44|0)61-275-6033  
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: bucknerb@bnr.ca (Brent Buckner)
Subject: Re: Back To Work Angst
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ontario, Canada
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 23:14:52 GMT

In article <dsmither.726547581@cunews> dsmither@alfred.carleton.ca (Diane Smithers) writes:
>In <1993Jan5.222635.20374@bnr.ca> bucknerb@bnr.ca (Brent Buckner) writes:
>
>>In article <dsmither.726269830@cunews> dsmither@alfred.carleton.ca (Diane Smithers) writes:
>>>I am feeling better
>>>lately in this city I moved to (Ottawa, Canada) to begin this degree
>>>(that can only be referred to as the City That Fun Forgot), but
>
>>Unlike sunny tOOson and National Lab sites (as I've read),
>>Ottawa has the distinction of being close to Fun places.
>>I am sure that this makes it all the worse if you can't escape.
>>So close and yet so far (and all that).
>
>How do YOU cope?

The question pre-supposes that I am coping.  To pose a rhetorical 
question:  if I were, what would I be doing in alt.angst?

-- 
at Bell-Northern Research
voice:        (613) 765-2739
Canada Post:  P.O. Box 3511, Station C, Ottawa, Canada, K1Y 4H7
I do not claim that BNR holds these views.  
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: fsquared@eff.org (Fawn Fitter)
Subject: Re: Sexual Angst
Originator: fsquared@eff.org
Organization: The Electronic Frontier Foundation
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 18:04:01 GMT

It may be that your roommate's SO likes it that way. I, however, am afraid
that I would find him a greedy, grasping, selfish toad -- and those are
_not_ sexy.

Don't be angstful about this. The only thing you need to worry about in
bed is the person you're with at the time.
From: pyro@gu.uwa.edu.au (Jay)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: you win some, you lose some (kinda long)
Date: 11 Jan 1993 13:18:30 GMT
Organization: The University of Western Australia
NNTP-Posting-Host: mackerel.gu.uwa.edu.au

hammett@sbsu1.aukuni.ac.nz (Tim Hammett) writes:

>I've also noticed that admitting to being a Computer Programmer tends to kill
>conversations. I've often thought about lying about my profession, but
>I've never been able to think up a suitably socially acceptable profession
>that I could lie convincingly about.

I don't think your problem is what you do but rather who you are.  No, I don't 
mean you have an atrocious personality, because I don't know you.  It is your
presentation of yourself and what you do that is your problem.  I myself am a 
student of an antisocial type of proffession, in fact if you're not careful 
people run very fast in the opposite direction as soon as you mention it.  
The trick is to say "I'm in computer science" or whatever antisocial 
proffession you belong to with confidence expecting a positive response.  
You'll get one! You are what you are not what you do, otherwise all people 
of the same proffession would be the same.  Goodluck and get back to us after 
you have tryed this.

kylie
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: despair@netcom.com (Scott Hanson)
Subject: Re: Petty "relationship angst"
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 05:13:12 GMT

Diane Smithers) writes:
>As a new participator in this newsgroup, I wonder if someone could
>tell me if this kind of anti-relationship-angst crusader thing
>happens very often and perhaps offer some creative theories as to why?
>Also, is there some kind of historical debate here in this group about
>what constitute "legitimate, *serious* angst issues"? (or, alternatively,
>should I just get lost and go read an archive or something?)

My advice (and you will get lots of conflicting opinions) is that you learn
how to use a killfile.  That way these people only bother you once, and you
decide what the group is like for you.  It isn't a perfect solution since
you'll see replies to the things evasive action has been used against, but
what is perfect in this world?  Besides dreams.

Regards.

-- 
Scott Hanson		This has been a recording.
despair@netcom.com
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: dsmither@alfred.carleton.ca (Diane Smithers)
Subject: Re: Back To Work Angst
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 02:46:21 GMT

In <1993Jan5.222635.20374@bnr.ca> bucknerb@bnr.ca (Brent Buckner) writes:

>In article <dsmither.726269830@cunews> dsmither@alfred.carleton.ca (Diane Smithers) writes:
>>I am feeling better
>>lately in this city I moved to (Ottawa, Canada) to begin this degree
>>(that can only be referred to as the City That Fun Forgot), but

>Unlike sunny tOOson and National Lab sites (as I've read),
>Ottawa has the distinction of being close to Fun places.
>I am sure that this makes it all the worse if you can't escape.
>So close and yet so far (and all that).

How do YOU cope?

- just curious.


Diane Smithers

Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: callahan@biffvm.cs.jhu.edu (Paul Callahan)
Subject: Re: communication
Organization: Johns Hopkins Computer Science Department, Baltimore, MD
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 00:18:42 GMT

hagop@edison.seas.ucla.edu (Hagop D. Janoyan) writes:

>In article <Jan.7.11.17.36.1993.25752@presto.ig.com> stuczyns@presto.ig.com (Martin Stuczynski) writes:

>>If they can't even scribble a couple sentences on a card and drop it
>>in a mail box are they worth keeping as friends?

>Good question...

Some people are letter-writers; some aren't.  Such people may indeed be worth
keeping as friends (give them a call; stop by to visit), but they are 
probably not worth writing letters to.

>I've also tried to maintain contacts with many people I've never met before.
>(ie. pen-pals)  At first, they seem so interested in writing, but eventually
>they never write back, or worse, they write you two sentences after you've
>spilled your guts to them.

I've had people who were close to me do this.

>It's the same here on the net...although I've never had the problem with the
>people on this newsgroup.

I'm having some pretty good correspondence right now, though it's all a little
new to me.  I normally use e-mail to keep in touch with friends and make the 
odd Usenet response.

>I don't have an answer to your question, but from my experience, I never 
>spend time writing back to people who write me crappy, short letters.  Some
>people only seem interested in writing "I'm okay here, school is fine, nice
>classes, don't have much more to say..."

I'm usually happy to hear just about anything from a friend (especially
by genuine U.S. mail).  I agree it can be disappointing if you are expecting
a lot and just get a basic "keeping in touch" letter. 
--
Paul Callahan (callahan@biffvm.cs.jhu.edu)   
..who wouldn't mind Usenet so much, 
except you have to go out for espresso,
and there's nobody shouting "Go, Daddy, Go!"
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: brm@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Brian R. Murphy)
Subject: Re: more depression
Organization: very little
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 03:03:35 GMT

In article <1id5h5INNka6@news.gac.edu> emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp) writes:
>>Thad_Engeling@quickmail.natinst.com (Thad Engeling) writes:
>>>>Sometimes I wish I were dead, but that happens to everyone.
>
>>No it doesn't.  I heard some statistic that like 20% of people in the
>>US often think of suicide.  
>
>What a logically silly thing to say.
>1) How frequently is "often?"
>2) He didn't imply that everyone thinks of suicide "often."

Well, Stanford may be a little atypical, but they conducted a fairly
extensive survey of the psychological health of students a few years
ago whose results showed that just 16% of students had EVER thought
that life wasn't worth living.  There were respectable rates of
"unhappy" and "lonely," so it's not just that everyone here is all
cheery, either, even if you exclude the grad students...

--
					-Brian
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: jc@apple.com (jc)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: My New Year's Eve, too...
Date: 9 Jan 93 01:26:03 GMT
Organization: those who must be kept

In article <1993Jan9.005113.17431@mumbo.apple.com>, jc@apple.com (jc) writes:
> 
> the earlier part of the day was marred only by a "you should 
> be saving your money instead of doing anything interesting or 
> fun" (which, in turn, induced a great amount of 
> financial/debt-type angst, but that's another story).  So, 

Uhh... So before the gods of cut and paste frowned upon me, that said:

 the earlier part of the day was marred only by a "you should 
 be saving your money instead of doing anything interesting or 
 fun" talk from my mother.
      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

jc

ObAngst:  Mysterious Disappearing Things Angst.  Things are mysteriously
disappearing.  The propane at my house (10 gallons a day) and my coffee
creamer at work (about 10oz a day).  At first, I suspected a leak and
theiving co-workers, respectively, but that is too obvious.  I believe
now that it is all part of an evil plot to drive me insane...
From: mph@gomez.physics.lsa.umich.edu (Marc Hertlein)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: more depression
Date: 9 Jan 1993 02:40:28 GMT
Organization: University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
NNTP-Posting-Host: gomez.physics.lsa.umich.edu

In article <20912@acorn.co.uk> ABienek@acorn.co.uk (Alex Bienek) writes:
>In article <1htj35INNkbc@natinst.com> Thad_Engeling@quickmail.natinst.com (Thad Engeling) writes:
>
>
>
>> He has been
>>mooching off of her for the last two years. He dropped out of high-school, has no job,
>>is a junkie, and has no goals in life. According to Emily he is a total fucking loser.
>>So it turns out that the night that I called to ask her out, Ali was going out with
>>Chris - giving him another chance.
>>Why.
>>Nice guys always lose.
>
>This is *so* true ! But why ? 
>I actually had the opportunity to question three girls about this sort behaviour, and
>try to get a straight answer to the the question 'What is it you look for in a guy/relationship ?'
>But it was totally impossible to get any kind of consistent answer. I must have spent two
>or three hours talking to them, and was absolutely none the wiser afterwards.
>Strange.
>
>Alex.

I asked women a similar question. There's not really a pattern, I think, 
and most of them sort of have their own idea of the ideal SO. But there seem
to be some for initial attraction, I believe: The guy needs to have
confidence, and be somehow mysterious, which means the women can't see
through them right away, so the guy is interesting and seems like he has
something to offer. (Sometimes, aggressiveness and obnoxoiusness can be
mistaken for confidence, I think, which is why the guys who don't care
about the women get lots of dates)

Somehow I think "good looks" is only secondary (just look at how many
ugly guys have dates), since that is highly subjective and can change
in someone's view. I know it's not so important because quite a few people
have told me that some women/they find me attractive, but after they get
to know me, they aren't interested any more ("you're a really nice guy,
but...).

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to fake confidence, since every
rejection makes it a lot harder (I've gone through a lot, and exclusively.
One success would make it a lot easier).

Seems to me like Darwin at work. The guys who can show off and pretend they
can provide are the winners. Women just have to sit there and be beautiful,
they don't need to be aggressive. (Mysteriousness helps them a lot though,
too) They can pick and choose, men need to go after them.

Please don't take this stereotyping too seriously, I am just trying to
find patterns, individuals might be different...

Moral: Go figure.

						M.
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: The eternal questions...
From: emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp)
Date: 5 Jan 1993 23:30:57 GMT
Organization: Gustavus Adolphus College
NNTP-Posting-Host: ancho.gac.edu

>hmm. yeah, although i tend to be more obscure and weird when i meet people..
>men or women. then they have to ask a lot of questions to find out who i am 
>and why i'm there. ... and if they don't bother, my doubts are confirmed.
>
>bah.

Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: New Year's
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 16:29:02 GMT


You want to hear about a geeky New Year's Eve?  Well, too bad... here it is, 
anyway.

We were playing Trivial Pursuit.  (No, wait, it gets worse.)  We paused just 
long enough to toast the New Year, then went back to playing.

It was my turn to ask a question.  I look down at the card, look up, and with a
perfectly straight face, asked, "Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never
brought to mind?"

Pause for two beats, then big laffs.  AFTER which, the person that was being 
asked the question says, "Well, it COULDA been a real question."

1993 is going to be a thrill, I can tell already.

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Monday, 11 Jan 1993 08:41:58 MST
From: <IDJMW@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: General Theory of Depression
Distribution: world
 <Z1Z7wB2w165w@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca>

I don't know if anything i have to say will "explain" or help males in
general to understand women any better, especially those of us that have
been abused in one way or another.

Most people i know, and 99% of the men i've dated, i don't tell that I was
abused by my ex-husband. its not that i try to keep it a secret, it just isn't
relavent to my life anymore. sometimes, in certain situations, it will creep
back to haunt me, but not too much anymore. Its kind of like having drug
flashbacks, i guess. for example, this past week, some unidentified tv show

playing in the background as I worked on the computer, drew my attention from
the small Mac screen to the larger boob tube screen. someone's live-in had
beat the crap out of her. she was weeping. minutes later, so was i. but
it isn't something that happens often.

what does happen, and what i try to work thru, day by day, is the combination
of feelings you're left with after that type of a relationship. you feel
helpless and worthless. then you feel outraged and angry. this anger lasts
for a very long time and is very hard to get rid of. then you feel defensive
and accusing, a victim. but you work thru it, you work past it. you have to.

i'm not angry anymore, i don't hate the ex for what he did, i actually have
no opinion on it one way or the other. i helped him contact someone for
therapy, and he's in a support group now, and i hope that he works out
his problems with women before getting involved with one again. the
experiences i have been thru have a positive side--i'm a much stronger
person than i was, i have a much stronger sense of self-worth, of self-
esteem. but it didn't come easily. and its not something i can stop
working on.

all i feel now is sad. sad for all the doomed people out there who will just

never get it.........


jo
From: pmarlowe@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (philip marlowe)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: General Theory of Depression
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 93 01:05:00 EST
Distribution: world
Organization: darkpark

> > > ObAngst: Every woman I've ever had more than a superficial 
> > > conversation with has related a tale of sexual abuse and/or
> > > rape. I think the statistic "one in three women" is, unfortunately,
> > > too low. Another "image appreciated in our society" would appear
> > > to be that women are punching bags.
> > 
> > never know how to react. I mean, such a "confession" has so god damn many 
> > aspects...on the one hand, they're giving you a sign of trust by telling 
> > you something painful and private, but on the other hand, there always 
> > seems to be some psychological undercurrent which I can never quite 
> > grasp. Almost...I dunno...like they take some kind of perverse pleasure 
> > out of showing their scars. Or are trying to let you know that they're 
> > strong enough to get past something like that. Or testing to see how you 
> > react to such a horror story. Or something.
> >
> 	Actually, I've seen that some women make up sexual abuse
> stories to get sympathy. After all, how can we _not_ believe
> them? One girl I knew ALWAYS had an abuse story about a
> previous boyfriend -- fortunately I knew the boyfriends and her
> enough to know the BS she spewed. 

 Yeah, but it's a fine line...I mean, the "she must be making it up 
because the perp. is such a nice guy!" attitude has lead to a LOT of 
bullshit. Just look at Freud's similar "reasoning" behind the Electra 
Complex...


> 	Another girl I know called every _bad_ sexual experience
> a "rape". If she didn't enjoy sex -- she was raped. 

 Yeah, another danger, but I'd say it's the exception. Which means that 
either you disbelieve the majority, who HAVE been assaulted, or believe 
the liar, who's probably out to ruin a bad lay...


> 	I question anyone with such a story, which is too bad
> because obviously some people have serious problems.

 Understandible, but not an attitude I care to take. Especially since I'm 
not a judge, and don't have to make any earth-shattering decisions based
upon such questionable evidence. I choose to believe with quiet, marginal 
skepticism.


marlowe

------------------------------------------------------------------darkpark BBS
pmarlowe@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (philip marlowe)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Karen Ronan <ronan@mendel.berkeley.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: General Theory of Depression
Date: 11 Jan 1993 21:29:25 GMT
Organization: None
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: kos2mac24.berkeley.edu
X-UserAgent: Nuntius v1.1.1d10
X-XXMessage-ID: <A7771A6A7002805E@kos2mac24.berkeley.edu>
X-XXDate: Mon, 11 Jan 93 12:36:58 GMT

In article <1993Jan9.105843.9941@leland.Stanford.EDU> Richard Thompson,
tullfan@leland.Stanford.EDU writes:

>one thread that caught my interest: the reason nice guys often finish
last is
>because something about this society makes alot of women not comfortable
in 
>a relationship unless there is some degree of emotional or even physical 
>abuse.  I know this to be true of women I've dated.  Something about
nurturing
>and loving didn't appeal--maybe its the desire to have a macho
destructive 
>male (after all that is the male image that is appreciated in our
society).

I've seen this philosophy before.  It's a gross generalization that all
women want the same thing.  Some women do have an attraction for men who
are crumbs (previously stated by someone else, it often stems from
childhood abuse).  Maybe the self-proclaimed "nice guys" also have an
attraction for women who are confused or have low self-esteem, although
these characteristics might not be obvious.  The woman might look
extremely successful and seem to have it all together.

Every person isn't under the thrall of society's images or ideas.  Women
are not merely the puppets of "society."  Some women pursue
self-destructive relationships and others have no interest in abuse
whatever.
Newsgroups: alt.angst