HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: markw@cltr.uq.oz.au (Mark White)
Subject: Re: Vacation..all i ever wanted...
Organization: Centre for Language Teaching and Research, Uni of Queensland, AUSTRALIA.
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 10:56:02 GMT

ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott) writes:


>Salutations.....

G'day!  ;)

>Just thought i'd pop on a question to get those creative
>juices flowing around here...

>Where is the most romantic place in the world?  

Hmm - tough call.  But since you asked, I'll list a few places that
I'm particuarly fond of......

- Quebec City.  A Friday night on the boardwalk over looking the
  St. Laurence, near that huge statue of one of the French kings and
  the Chateau Frontenac.  Maybe a quiet dinner in one of the many
  fantastic French restaurants nearby.....

- Sunset at Cape Croker, Ontario.

- Sunset/Sunrise almost anywhere ;)

- Mt Cootha in Brisbane.  It's (geographically, at least) a big
  city, and at night you can pretty much see it all from the lookout.
  What a view.


I could probably think of lots more-- Oh, for someone to share them
with.... 
--
Mark White                                        | 
National Centre for Studies in Travel and Tourism | EMail: markw@cltr.uq.oz.au
James Cook University of North Queensland         | Fax:   +61 7 371 8485
P.O. Box 705 Indooroopilly QLD 4068  AUSTRALIA    | Phone: +61 7 870 9212
From: jlewis@astro.as.arizona.edu (Jeff Lewis)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: test
Date: 19 Aug 92 22:19:48 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ

sorry...just testing ..been having problems posting.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: Lopsided Beginnings
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 92 21:27:54 GMT

In article <1992Aug17.183452.20109@bnr.co.uk> dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
>In the referenced article jcr@mbunix.mitre.org (Rogers) writes:
(various stuff deleted)
>>
>>These situations seem to crop up fairly often, where one party
>>in a now-successful relationship professes to initially have
>>felt absolutely no attraction for their partner, or even to
>>have felt repulsion. (Far as I can tell, the initially-unattracted
>>one is more often the woman.) Then, "somehow," things changed.
>>
>>-- Jeff R.
>
>I agree with Jeff's observation. Is it simply down to men depending more
>upon appearance in choosing partners and therefore more rarely going back
>on their first (visual) impressions; whereas women, who depend less on
>that first visual impression, are more likely to grow to like a person as
>they get to know them over time (all other factors constant)?
>
>Could make a humble man feel quite bad about choosing against such a
>superficial metric! :-/
>
I think a better explanation might be in our culturally sanctioned
roles as men and women. Women are expected to choose among men who
have already shown an interest in them, while men are expected to
choose among women without expecting them to have already expressed
interest. Now, these are stereotype roles, but to the degree that people
follow them, I would expect a woman to avoid getting interested in 
a man until he had shown interested in her, or at to avoid admitting
having been interested in the man before he was interested in her.

Michael.
From: goldberg@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Mark Goldberg)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Need advice...
Date: 13 Aug 92 14:51:31 GMT
Reply-To: goldberg@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Mark Goldberg)
Organization: Naval Surface Warfare Center, Annapolis, MD

[Elaboration on planned vacation with soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend plus
accout of meeting someone new deleted]

If you and your current girlfriend have planned the specific time of
your breakup, then for all intents and purposes the relationship is
over now.  You have no business travelling together, unless your doing
it with a glimmer of hope that you might salvadge the relationship.

If you have met someone new that your are interesed in, I recommend
cancelling the vacation and focussing on this new person.  No sense
prolonging something with no future.  And this new person may go on
to other options while you are away.

   /|/| /||)|/  /~ /\| |\|)[~|)/~   |   Everyone's entitled to MY opinion.
  / | |/ ||\|\  \_|\/|_|/|)[_|\\_|  |      goldberg@oasys.dt.navy.mil
========Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein=======
From: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: fantasies
Date: 19 Aug 92 20:10:56 GMT
Reply-To: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH


In a previous article, fsjm1@acad3.alaska.edu () says:

>Just because you asked . . .
>I would like to make love
>on the hood of a car
>at outside
>at night
>in a ragin' thunder and lightning storm
> 
>
I have to agree that being in the wild outdoors is possibly
the most exciting place to make love....

but instead of the thunder and lightning....

I kinda like the idea of a being out in a snow storm...


-- 
"To you, Baldrick, the renaissance was just something that
 happened to other people, wasn't it?"
                       
                            -- Black Adder --
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Sunday, 16 Aug 1992 20:54:45 MST
From: <ICSAA@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Lopsided Beginnings

(This got a little long)
Original poster, here, although I _still_ don't know how to copy
text from one message to another (help, help).  About not wanting
to date Eric for the five months I'd known him, there were  many
circumstances which made me not want to be involved with him, that
it probably wouldn't translate well to other people's stories.
 But it did help when the circumstances changed, and though he
insisted that our first dinner out was a date, nothing happened until
I did DECIDE that the person inside was worth getting to know.

And yes, to a later post, I did leap upon him, verily and forsooth.
Wonderful, confused man, asked, "Do you really want to do this?"  And
though I maintain that his seductive presence made a move on my part
an inevitability, and, in fact, he had kissed me goodnight the first
evening out, it was me.  Snugglebunnies and all.

 I think I had decided that sex had sometimes worked to my emotional
disadvantage, opening up emotions for people who didn't return them.  (mom
was right.)
was right.)  So, in this case, I wanted to fall in love with him, since
I'd mentally checked off all of his stellar qualities, so sex helped here.

I think I was just lucky, and he seems pretty delighted, too.

Again, I wouldn't advocate this.  It's just what happened to me (although
 a somewhat sanitized version :)!!!!
From: dkl@xcluud.sccsi.com (David Karl Leikam)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Let's just be friends?  Or get off my case?
Date: 12 Aug 92 20:15:33 GMT
Organization: Greater Montrose UFO Appreciation Society & Data Haven

In article <1992Aug11.005451.1279@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> jpalmer@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (John D Palmer) writes:
>    Before a flamefest starts, let's decide which "Let's Just Be Friends"
>we are talking about.  Are we talking about type 1:
>
>[...] I don't want to commit to a relationships, so let's just be friends so I
>can keep getting all the benefits with none of the associated
>responsibilities."  (Yes, there do exist people who do this.)  
>
>     Maybe type 2:
>
>     "I don't want to go out with you. . . and I really don't want to SEE you.
>But I don't like being honest, so I won't say that I really don't enjoy your
>company.  Let's just be friends so I can blow you off more easily."
>
>     Or, the type Jonathan seems to be referring to, type 3:
>
>     "I love you. .. really, I do. . . but not with the love that makes a 
>relationship.  I don't see my feelings changing in the near future, or to be
>honest, ever. . . but you are a good person, I do like you. . . can you

  You left out type 4, or maybe it's type 1a, viz: "I've been jerking your
chain and having a really good time watching you chase your own tail over
me, but I'm wussing out now that you're acting like you're serious."
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How does this happen?
Date: 13 Aug 92 17:36:02 GMT
Reply-To: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Organization: BNR Europe Limited, London Road, Harlow, Essex, GB

In the referenced article pfleming@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Patrick E Fleming) writes:
[Sad story deleted]
>
>So what in the hell makes people feel so damned undeserving of love?  Why can't
>some people allow themselves to feel loved?  Why can't some people indulge 
>themselves in the right to be imperfect and still be loved anyhow?
>
>I don't get it.
>
>     - Pat

But Pat, what makes you so sure that this is what's going on in this case?
If this is the explanation, it's probably good ol' self esteem -- a very popular
deficiency amongst young US women, from what I read on the net.

On the other hand, remember that past relationships can really screw you
up. Perhaps she's had some bad past experience(s). I know I will find it
hard to trust again (if I ever get past the damn LJBF stage! :-/).

Life is tough. People are weird. Just because you love someone, you *must
not* expect it back. That's what makes it wonderful when it *is* returned.

Look elsewhere. You'll only upset yourself pursuing this. 

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
From: aatresa@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: PMS
Date: 13 Aug 92 18:46:00 GMT
Organization: Yeah, *right* !
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <13AUG199212362987@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov>, afdenis@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes...
> 
>Oh, I've been told that I have a rather sexy voice on the phone... uh... 
>anybody lurking out there want to back me up on this ? :-) :-)

Sure...but I don't lurk anywhere. 

He's got great eyes, too, ladies.  <sigh>

-- Teresa

		Life -- just for the FUN of it!!!!
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: A positive vacation - Now what?
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 17:50:19 GMT

Brad Levy (bradl@informix.com) wrote:

: She is old enough that having kids together is out of her picture. (She
: is widowed, and has three now.)  I am younger (35).  I am still unresolved
: in my own mind about how important progeny would be to me.  I am afraid of
: the relationship deepening quickly (as it feels like it so easily could)
: without my resolving this issue first, and then breaking it off if I decide
: that fathering a child is too important to me, causing her pain in the process.

This sort of scenario causes one to really examine one's motivations.  Why
do you want to have kids, if at all?  Is it a "proof of virility" thing?
Is it "to carry on" your memory in some way?

I had to look at those questions seriously a while back - I was dating a
woman 16 years my senior who had been through menopause.  I decided that
a wonderful relationship without kids was more important than a lousy one
with kids.  The way people (and relationships) are these days, if this
relationship works, I'd hang on to it - and to hell with the "having kids"
stuff.
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG     erc@apple.com                801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Vacation..all i ever wanted...
From: cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Clare West)
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 10:17:37 GMT
Organization: Dept of CompSci, U of Auckland

ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott) writes:
>
>In a previous article, ccolling@nyx.cs.du.edu (Lady Firebird) says:
>
>>ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott) writes:
>>>
>>>I need some honeymoon destination ideas.....and i know
>>>i can count on this bunch!  =)
>>
>>It would help if we knew what you were looking for ina destination....
>>
>>Lady Firebird
>>
>At the risk of sounding completely undecided and phlematic...
>the truth is i don't know...but being forced to think about it ;)
>
>i would have to say the following:
>
>a place to be unbothered by modern life as we know it (no NYC!)
>beautiful scenery  (natural or man-made)
>fresh air.....
>and good food  =9  !!
>
>it can either either hot or cold there...we want to get married
>in december..BTW....

Cold: Venice (my pick for most romantic city in the world - people
tell me it's hell in summer - I'm just never going there in summer in
that case)

Hot: New Zealand especially the South Island - the good food might
take some hunting out tho.

clare

-- 
Oh, why didn't I listen when they said "Never do a   |  cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz 
 masters and try to have a life at the same time"?   |  clare west
                 BigSis to Chris, Eric and Kristiina
                    Official Welcomer of the RFA
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: LJBF and Happiness
Date: 20 Aug 92 22:37:42 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Aug20.065835.24937@rniwi.rni.sub.org> frank@rniwi.rni.sub.org (Frank Mogaddedi) writes:
>jlewis@astro.as.arizona.edu (Jeff Lewis) writes:
>
>[...]
>>...but I am the most
>>content when I can make someone else happy...is this being romatic
>>or just plain stupid?
>
>Hi Jeff,
>I think it's both. I feel similar and think that - yes - it's romantic.
>Or so people told me. But it's also stupid, if you're being exploited
>without noticing it. Or...
>
Love is when you start treating the other persons well-being as if it
was your own.

>Well, who said being in love, loving, or being romantic makes sense
>or can be rationally explained :-} ?
>
I don't think that love is just irrational -- but when under
strong emotions, you get less rational. Some people think
self-sacrifice is irrational, but this is circular logic:
I must be self-serving -> I must not be self-sacrificing
-> being self-sacrificing is irrational -> I must be self-serving.

>As long as it makes you happy to make someone else happy, I think every-
>thing is OK. There are people out there who really appreciate that. Or
>so I've been told.
>
I think most everyone appreciates it. It is just that most people can't
graciously accept unless they really trust you, and are feeling very
secure.


Peace,
Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: kjell@elixir.e.kth.se (Kjell Rilbe)
Subject: Re: WHAT IS LJBF???????!!!!!!
Organization: Dept. of EE, Royal Institute of Technology, Stockholm, Sweden
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 14:48:47 GMT

In article <12AUG199213541754@venus.lerc.nasa.gov> edsum02@venus.lerc.nasa.gov (Doug Darling) writes:
>...
>I'm new to the net and I would like to ask a.r a very important question.
>At the risk of sounding stupid could someone please tell be what LJBF means?
>...

Yes, while we're at it, I have a few questions on these abbreviations, too.
This is what (I think) I have figured out:
LJBF - Let's Just Be Friends
IMO - In My Opinion
IMHO - In My Honest Opinion
RP - Relationship Partner
SO - Significant Other

Could you guys out there please tell me if this is correct, or if I got
some of the wrong!??!? Thanx a thousand! :-)

/Kjell Rilbe
From: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: What is LOVE ?
Date: 19 Aug 92 20:07:26 GMT
Reply-To: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH


In a previous article, ankolamb@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Guess Who ?) says:

>
>Just a question....
>
>What is LOVE ??
>
My favourite --albeit somewhat jaded-- definition comes 
from Fran Lebowitz:

   "Romantic love is a mental illness -- but it's a
    pleasurable one.  It's a drug.  It distorts 
    reality -- and that's the point of it.  It would
    be impossible to fall in love with someone you
    really *saw*."



-- 
"To you, Baldrick, the renaissance was just something that
 happened to other people, wasn't it?"
                       
                            -- Black Adder --
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ma1248378@ntuvax.ntu.ac.sg
Subject: Re: Vacation..all i ever wanted...
Organization: Nanyang Technological University - Singapore
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 10:38:37 GMT

In article <1992Aug13.213907.21438@news.ysu.edu>, ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott) writes:
> 
> Salutations.....
> 
> Just thought i'd pop on a question to get those creative
> juices flowing around here...
> 
> Where is the most romantic place in the world?  
> 
> I need some honeymoon destination ideas.....and i know
> i can count on this bunch!  =)
> 
> cheers...
> 
> 
> Dawn
> 
> 
> -- 
> 
>              Nothing is so aggravating as calmness.
> 
>                       -- OSCAR WILDE --




   Why don't you try a remote island in the South EastAsia.
   TIOMAN island would do splendidly.It is located on the east 
   of MALAYSIA ,a country near Singapore.For more info you
   could try the Malaysian Embassy in U.S............


                                      Have Fun...
    
                                      ****** Bolero 69*******

Xref: sparky alt.romance:10915 alt.romance.chat:17465
From: tvechins@eng.auburn.edu (Toni R. Vechinski)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
Subject: The Shadowette....
Date: 21 Aug 92 19:21:24 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Auburn University Engineering


     Good day, my fellow readers.....You have, by no doubt, met my cousin 
THE SHADOW from the previous letter.

     Sha (that's what I call him for short, for only fellow lurkers of the
night may do so) introduced me to alt.romance and alt.romance.chat and I 
must concur that they are most enjoyable.

     I'm not quite the poet my cousin is (for he started this business long 
before I), but to introduce myself....

          I believe in the soul and eternal life, the American flag, best
                friends and snuggling.
          I believe in the small of a woman's back, a man with strong hands
                and broad shoulders, baseball, and country music.
          I believe in Walt Disney, pickup trucks, sexy underwear, roses,
                and banana splits with lots of whipped cream.
          I believe in exercise and being healthy, the fiddle and mountain
                music, long walks and holding hands, and slow dancing.
          I believe in the love between a man and a woman, sunsets, back
                massages, and as Crash Davis said,
          "I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last for
                three days."

      As my cousin is, so am I......a graduate student that is -- at least
during the day...............

     (A darkened fog-filled alley appears)

     For.....WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF WOMEN?

              .........THE SHADOWETTE KNOWS.........
                    ........Mueheeheeheeheeheeeeee...................

     (sinister laughter fades out)
     (The sound of running feet can be heard and the form of a shadow dances
      across the alley walls and into the night...........)


~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~
*                                                                          *
*    There is no better psychiatrist than a puppy licking your face.....   * 
*    Except, maybe, a man licking your face........Any takers?             * 
*        *seductive smile* *blink* *blink*                                 *
*                                                                          *
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: cfg@cray.com (Cindy Glass)
Subject: Re: What is LOVE ?
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 20 Aug 92 09:38:46 CDT

In article <1992Aug17.234809.15524@ucunix.san.uc.edu> ankolamb@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Guess Who ?) writes:
>
>Just a question....
>
>What is LOVE ??
>
>-MA

As we grow in experience and wisdom, our perceptions of things such 
as love - grow and mature.  The love we thought was, when we were 
young - was but the bud of the love that we begin to see as time 
progresses....the love that we truely yearn for and desire.  If we 
are VERY lucky the love that started when we were young will grow 
with our perceptions and desires.  For many of us, this is not the 
case - the perceptions grew, our wisdom grew....that young love
remained the same and did not grow...eventually, it withered and died.

So, we continue to hold in us our maturing perceptions of the love
that is 'right' for us - when we find it, it is different from what
we knew...but we know it is our love.

Cindy
From: sah@ecs.soton.ac.uk (Hellberg S.A.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How does this happen?
Date: 14 Aug 92 14:44:49 GMT

In <1992Aug13.172351.6264@jetsun.weitek.COM> weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Weaver) writes:

>In article <1992Aug12.214156.17595@javelin.sim.es.com> pashdown@javelin.sim.es.com (Pete Ashdown) writes:

Various munging ...

>>
>>I've recently discovered that if you make it a "privilege" for the other
>>person to go out with you, then it IS a privilege for them to go out with you.
>>If they give you a hard time, let them know to their face of your
>>disatisfaction.  Don't sit back and whimper about how you'll never meet
>>another person like them, so you have to "take whatever they dish out."  YOU
>>WON'T meet another person like them, but you WILL meet someone who is better,
>>or worse, but always DIFFERENT.  TRUST ME, the best way is to respect
>>yourself.  Believe that you are better off alone than with someone who doesn't
>>respect you and suddenly the world becomes a different place.  

>This is good advice. It is a hard fact, but if you appear too anxious
>to give, you will be judged to be a parasite, only interested in
>taking.  On the other hand, if you appear selfish you will be judged
>capable of giving. The reason for this of course is that if you were a
>parasite and wanted to get your way through manipulation, you would
>start out by appearing giving. (Unless you thought two moves ahead and
>realized that appearing selfish would better serve your ends).

Michael,

I couldn't quite see what you were getting at here - how is it that
you will be judged a parasite for being `over' giving?  And likewise
being selfish leading to being seen as capable of giving?  I'm
confused, seems like a contradiction.  What am I missing?

Anybody else shed any light?  Is this a widely found attitude?

From a worried eager `giver' !?

Stephen.