From: telsor@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Robert Morieson)
Subject: Re: anchovies and a filk
Organization: Monash General Access UNIX System
 
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 06:44:56 GMT

>		It's a wonderfully humid 80 degree type day in Boston
>	(there, that covers the hot/cold thread) as the dark elf wanders
>	into Callahan's just in time to hear Telsor order anchovies on
>	his pizza.
>
>		"Ye Gods, Telsor, don't you remember what the J. Geil's
>	Band said:
>
>			'And the lesson we learn from this
>			story is, next time you place your
>			order, don't forget to say,
>			"NO ANCHOVIES, PLEASE."'
>				-No Anchovies, Please
>					from the album "Love Stinks"
Barbarians, obviously :-)

>
>		Anchovies are bad. 

	Telsor goes pale

	        Anchovies are evil.  

	Shock starts to set in.

		Anchovies will sneak up behind you and jump you.  

	Telsor falls to the floor

		Anchovies are worse than bad.clams, 

	Telsor wimpers and agonised "nooo, it's not true..." when he hears

		and...wait.  Actually, I've never tried anchovie pizza.

	Anger and disbelief play across telsor's mind ( and there's lot's
	of empty space to play in )

>		"Never mind.  I guess I was just being silly and that
>		song popped up in my head-

	Anger seems to be winning as telsor staggers to his feet, arms 
	outstretched....

>		"SILLY?!?  SONGS?!?  ARRRRRGH!"

	....and staggers, like something out of a frankenstein movie
	towards the dark elf, when

>		The dark elf races back home 

	Drat, missed...

>		and quickly returns, his filk book under his arm.

	Mmmm, filk book, Mmmm, OK, that earns you a bit longer, but it
	better be good....

>		"Ye Gods, it's been about a month since I posted a
>	filk.  I feel so negligent.  Darn, darn, darn...
>
>		"Well, anyway, today's selection is <drum roll>...
>
>
>
>			CHOCOLATE

That's a very good start.

>		Lyrics: Virginia Taylor
>		Copyright @ 1991 by Virginia Taylor
>		Music: "The Marvelous Little Toy," by Tom Paxton
>		reprinted here without permission
>
>		
>	Nutritionists have warned me that I am just what I eat,
>	And if I would be healthy I should eat only lean meat.
>	I must eat lots of vegetables, drink milk, eat fruit and bread,
>	But when I do, I find most days I'd rather stay in bed.
>
>	Balancing my calories, I plan out all my meals,
>	And I'm not really hungry.  No, that's just the way it feels.
>	One apple (small), a slice of toast, no butter, I regret.
>	This would go down more easily if it were choco-let.
>
>	Chorus:
>		It goes crunch when it's hard and squish when it's soft
>		And splash when it's hot fudge.
>		My taste buds just can't enough
>		But fat cells hold a grudge.
>
>	At night I dream of fudge and cake and Easter Bunny ears,
>	And ice cream sundaes haunt me for this diet may take years.
>	And even if I lose the pounds there will be no respite
>	For I will gain them all right back if I touch choco-lit.
>
>	(Chorus)
>
>	I wonder if it's worth the pain and cravings I endure
>	But giving up my M&M's may be the only cure,
>	Along with daily exercise to get me into shape.
>	If I can't have a candy bar I'll eat Jane Fonda's tape!
>
>	(Spoken: Did you ever notice that VCR tape is the same color as
>			chocolate?)
>
>	(Chorus)
>
>	If I don't get some chocolate soon I'm sure that I will die.
>	My diet lasted half an hour.  It was an honest try.
>	When Toll-house cookies smell so good, I can't resist the bait.
>	Just like a fish, I'm truly hooked, and it's too choco-late!
>
>	(To the refrain of "Waltzing Matilda")
>		Thinking of chocolate, thinking of chocolate,
>		Thinking of chocolate makes me put on weight.
>		And I sing as I'm jogging - to the corner candy store -
>		Thinking of chocolate makes me put on weight.
>
>
>
>		"Hope you enjoy."

Very much, for that, you *only* get thrown in the pool <grab>. 
Chocolate's one of the few foods I prefer to anchovies <aim>. 
After all, I wouldn't eat Anchovies on anything but Pizza <throw>

	   SSSSS  PPPPP  L      AAA   SSSSS  H   H    
	   S      P   P  L     A   A  S      H   H   
	   SSSSS  PPPPP  L     AAAAA  SSSSS  HHHHH   
	       S  P      L     A   A      S  H   H
	   SSSSS  P      LLLLL A   A  SSSSS  H   H

No don't scare me like that again!

telsor


-- 
I stab myself with the knife of life, to burn away the pain.
Telsor@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
Robert Morieson
Newsgroups: alt.callahans