From: rcf@pnet01.cts.com (Bob Forsythe)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.nordic
Subject: San Diego Responds to Potential Dane Invasion
Date: 24 Jul 92 02:16:16 GMT
Organization: People-Net [pnet01], El Cajon CA


     At the beginning of the year, Lego Systems, Inc. announced that they were
considering San Diego as a possible site for an American Lego World.  This set
off a local newspaper writer who said (tongue firmly in cheek) that the rides
might be "snapped" together, that the legos would migrate from the park as his
child's do in the house, that Lego wasn't an American company, and that San
Diego probably wouldn't want to be known as the "Billund of the U.S."  Lego
responded, and I reprint, in part, his reaction to that response.

I ride fearlessly into the valley of the shadow of mixed metaphors, crying
havoc and letting slip the guard dogs of alarmism, alerting San Diego to the
creeping menace of...
  Lego World!
Back in February, I warned readers of a Danish plot to capture the city and
turn it into a "theme Park."  I'm no gourmet chef, but I can spot a recipe for
disaster:
Take an estimated 1.5 million annual visitors, most of them kids.
Add an approximately 4 mega-bazillion Lego parts.
Mix well.
Relax, urges David Lafrennie, Lego World - or, as the public relations manager
of LEGO Systems Inc. refers to it, LEGO WORLD - will be "an entertainment
attraction that is quite unique with the emphasis on younger children and
their families and with strong interactive and educational values."
Seems the offending column reached Lafrennie's office in Enfield,
Conn.  Taking exception to my puctuation, arguments and existence, the PR guy
gamely defended these plastic horrors, maintaining that "some points need to
be clarified for the sake of accuracy."

1.  Rides and attractions will not be 'snapped' together from Legos. 
'Rather,' Lafrennie writes, 'they will be made from sturdy materials in order
to resemble or product.'  I see.  So you're proposing LOOKS KINDA LIKE (BUT
REALLY ISN'T) LEGO WORLD.

2.  'You need not worry that LEGO toys wiwll migrate from the park and have
adverse environmental impact.  All the modesl in the Park will be glued for
display purposes.'  Oh, right.  The standard equation measuring romper room
havoc (child + toy x torque) proves that more missles would fly out of Lego
World than Cape Canaveral.

3.  'Regarding the "America First Test"...we at the Enfield facility are proud
to be associated with a company that emplys approximately 1,000 Americans in
the Connecticut/Massachusetts area.'
Well, before I launch my star-spangled rebuttal, check out Lafreenie's final
point.  It's a real doozie:

4.  'Although Billund, Denmark (home of the original Lego World) will never be
mistaken for San Diego, California, you should be aware that LEGO Systems,
Inc. has received over 700 proposals from cities and towns in the U.S. that
would relish the opportunity to be "the Billund of the United States" and the
home of LEGO WORLD.'

<Deleted is a discussion with a woman from Norton, Mass. which has a wildlife
refuge that a local developer has offered to Lego Systems free of charge>

Lafrennie said yesterday that San Diego is still in the running - a final
decision is expected next February - but I figure we'll sit out the Danish
Marathon.  Anyone who expects to be given a few hundred acres of local real
estate is a few plastic bricks short of a load.

As for Lego World's red-white-and blue credentials, Graf (the woman from
Norton) read in the Boston papers that the original Legoland is long on
European style (cute tableaux) but short on American values (rides with high
vom-O-meter readings).
"So a reporter asked what they were going to do to attract American kids, who
want more action," Graf said.  "They said they were thinking of offering hot
dogs."


     Now folks, I reprint this (without permission, written by Peter Rowe of
the San Diego Union-Tribune) because Legos are one of the more insidious plots
Europeans have foisted upon this country.  The things multiply, they move from
room to room, they hurt when you step on them, and the kids go beserk when you
step on them.  This is an obvious example of how Europeans are determined to
ruin American feet (Italian shoes being the other) through the introduction of
seemingly harmless objects.  Well I, for one, won't stand for it.  When I send
my 1 dollar contribution to Bill Clinton, it will contain a letter demanding
that he denounce the Lego plot and vow to keep America safe from this terrible
menace.

-Bob
rcf@pnet01.cts.com

(some local references replaced with more generic names)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.nordic