From: jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: B&B:  A weak's worth
Date: 25 Jan 93 12:38:46 GMT
Article-I.D.: neptune.9301252238.AA20354
Organization: Computer Science, Indiana University
Content-Type: text
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4beta PL16]
Content-Length: 14709


     O.K., ladles of germs, I finally have time to write the
long-aweighted week long update of B&B -- otherwhys known as
"That Was the Week that Wasn't".  Didja ever notice how when
a sweeps month approaches, storylines approach a pace that
makes glacial look like an express train?  Now, considering
that I have a five, count 'em get a life five, pages of
notes on last week's epislows, do you think I'm going to
give you a blow-by-slow scene-by-scream accounting of how
many different ways poople can say "Let's go over to the
hospital and get a blood test?"  You're darn pollutin' I
ain't.  I'm going to give you the loooooooong overview, and
if you heathen rabble want detales, then you'd better prove
to me that you exist by posting something to the three-days-
behind-the-masst stupid newserver which is still giving my
scoops from last Friday, and not a ring inbetween.  For
whatever reason.  Now, it would be a big help if someone e-
mailed me the exact moment, the exact time that they saw
this, because if the oldnewsserver stays true to norm, then
by next month I might know if you guys and gals get to read
my stuff!  Copy and out.

Friday a week ago:

     Sheila's home from a puzzling trip to Genoa City, and
Brad got a piece.  Lauren's getting all 12.  Sally tells
SleazyRandy the fashion journalist about the questionable
Forrester paternity.  Brooke and Taylor debate the uses of
the baby and how Taylor will hold on to Ridge in the face of
Ridge's paternal devotion.  Brooke accuses Taylor of having
to poison Ridge's mind against his own daughter.  Sheila
visits Eric and tells her she had a great trip.  Eric asks
if her mom is better, and also that she gets "sick" a lot.
Sheila tells her no problem, and Eric-the-dolt skips over
it.   SleazyRandy checks the story with Steph, who denies it
just like Buckingham Palace denied that Chuckie and ToDifor
were on the outs.  Taylor accuses Brooke of being a
manipulative bitch, as Steph thinks she is.  She tells her
she almost hopes the baby is Ridge's -- because they can
raise her in a loving home, and Brooke would neglect her
while chasing men.  Slap!    Sheila inquires about Eric's
course of action if he's the father.  Whatever's best for
the baby.  Sheila says it's out of our hands (ha), it all
depends on the test results.  Sally is gloating over the
Forrester scandal when Stephanie shows, and we get this
super dialogue:  Steph:  "You're scum.  I detest you."
Sally:  "I'd be losing my edge if you didn't."  Steph:  "You
live in the gutter and can't go any lower".  Sally:  "Just a
page from your book!"  Sally notes that Stephanie never
invited Macy to any holiday parties.  "How're you gonna
react, Stephanie?  It's a helpless feeling, and you're going
to FEEL it!"

Monday:

     Jack and Taylor discuss the long-range projections of
the paternity.
       Steph and Sal continue their friendly conversation.
Sally says you'll get your comeuppance, and I'll enjoy
watching you squirm.  Steph asks how she got her info, and
she says from a hospital visit to Brooke.  Stephanie covers
the family's bare backside, saying it was just a routine
test.  Sally wavers.  Steph tells her to leave her family
alone, and notes that nobody trusts her.  She goes to leave,
nearly bouncing off Jack.  He wants to know why she's there.
An unscheduled "meeting" with Sally.  In the discussion,
Stephanie perceives that he's seeing Sally again.  It
doesn't matter, she says.  You're both obnoxious, and
untrustworthy.
     Sheila wants to talk to Doc Tracy about the test.  Lots
of stress on the family -- what if I helped draw blood?
Good idea, Tracy says, but it's covered.  By me.  Stymied!
Can't you make an exception?  Not without clearance.  Sorry.
Later, Mike the guard surprises Sheila.  She smiles.  He's
got the new codes.  She smiles more.  I'd love to know more!
she tells him.
     Ridge comes to see Brooke and the baby.  He holds
Nameme.  She's in love with you already, you're so good with
her.  He's got to get going.  No, I want to talk.  Brooke
thanks Ridge for caring.  Of course he does.  Not everybody
-- Stephanie and Taylor both blame her for getting pregnant
and orchestrating the delivery in the mountains.  I'm sick
of it!  I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it
anymore!  Ridge tells her not to get upset.  But you've got
someone, it's been a tough seven months for me.  Am I trying
to trap you?   she asks.  He wouldn't have come if she had
(besides, they can't have sex until mid-February, anyways).
They discuss the test.  She says there are no obligations if
the baby isn't his.  He says they have strong feelings for
the baby and Taylor accepts the baby too.  They hug --
things are going to be alright.

Tuesday:

     Ridge comes home to Taylor by the fire.  Dinner's in
the oven.  He tells her he went to see the baby.  Brooke
says you and Steph double-teamed her.  Let's lighten up and
be a little more sensitive, O.K.?  Taylor tells him that
Brooke said she still loves him.  He knew that weeks ago.
And you didn't tell me?  Why, and have a fight about it?
All for domestic harmony, Taylor says?  Right.   I married
YOU, and what Brooke wants or loves makes no difference.
Brooke's irrelevant?  Taylor echoes, even if she tells you
she loves you?  Be serious, Doc, am I going to let you get
away?  Taylor tell him not to hold back Anything.
Everything he and Brooke discuss, down to the punctuation
marks (A.D.).  You're joking.  No, she never jokes while
making love.  They go down for the mount while dinner burns.
Post-flesh, Taylor says something significant happened.
"I'll say!" Ridge says (A.D.)  No, not plate tectonics, but
now all the cards are on the table.  Ridge volunteers never
to look at Brooke again, if that's what Taylor wants.  She
has everything she wants.  Including Eric as the baby's
father?  he asks.  Either way, it won't change anything.
     Stephanie comes to see Eric at the condo.  Brooke and
the baby are somnolent.  Tells Eric that the paternity
puzzle almost made the headlines.  Eric nearly busts.  She
covered it with Sally, but...  the blood test comes up.
Sally discloses a fear of needles, tells Eric not to laugh.
He suggests a sedative.  And ruin the test?  (Unlikely -- a
blood test for drugs and a DNA test don't work the same).
She tells him that if he's the father, maybe the baybe would
benefit from two loving EXPERIENCED parental units.  Like
she and him.  What about Sheila?  If he's the father, she
might not stay.  Would Brooke stay -- after all, any
Forrester is better than no Forrester at all (A.D.)  There's
been no loving commitment.   This is kind of off-the-wall,
but we've been loving parents to four kids.  Do I have to
paint a picture?  Brooke's not a real mother.  Think about
it.  She kisses him.  Eric is astonished, the home crowd is
really nauseous!
     Sheila in the hospital -- gets Mike the guard to come
to the gene lab.  She tells her one of the Genentechs might
have left an incubator on.  He opens up, S-L-O-W-L-Y
punching in the code so Sheila can see all four numbers.
Once inside (he doesn't go inside with her -- that's
believable!) she scopes the lab.  Finds the refrigerator
with the samples.  Checks out the computer, but she can't
break the genetics file without the right password.  (Try
DADDY.)  She's going to get it, then.  Mike the guard
finally comes in, and tells her that he has to fill out an
incident report, leaving an incubator on is dangerous.  But
it wasn't on!  Are you covering for someone?  I'd be a good
friend, wouldn't I?  Maybe you and I could be GOOOD friends
(wink wink wink).  Let's get out of here (pant pant).

Something happened in Washington D.C. on Wednesday and B&B
was pre-empted.

Thursday:
     Ridge and Eric meet at the office.  Cover story -
annual family checkup.
     Brooke and Stephanie face off at the hospital.
Stephanie tells Brooke it's too bad she's saddled with
another baby.  No complaints -- on the contrary, things are
great.  Brooke asks Stephanie who she thinks the father is,
Eric or Ridge?  "Oh, I suppose the blood test could identify
any number of candidates!"
          (I actually laughed!)
  Later on, Tracy gets a sample from everybody.  Stephanie
goes last, with obvious trepidation.  Brooke makes fun of
her, amazed that the glacier queen has a crevasse or two!
She tells Stephanie that the needle is really, REALLY big.
Eric tells Brooke she's being cruel.  Stephanie steels
herself and goes through with it.
     Daddy Spencer lectures Karen on how to be the picture
of a proper major general (G&S).  Karen's mind is elsewhere,
namely on her being the real #2 in the connubial lottery.
She tells Dad.  She explains that she found out all about it
-- Thorne seeing Macy kissing Jake, not getting it.  Spence
tells her that being with Thorne is not wrong.  Karen says
she can tell him, so he can be with the one he really loves.
WHAT?  Spence says.  I can get them together, tell Thorne
the truth about Macy and Jake.  They would be together, he
just misread the moment.  Spence says Thorne and Macy had
problems for a long time.  He tells her you love him, love
may grow.  But it might not be real, Dad!  It might just be
a miscalculation.  You mean more than that, he insists.  I
don't think so, she tells him.  Sorry.
     Sly's at the bar.  The other bartender (OTB) sees
Thorne come in, tells Sly he was hitting on his lady.
That's O.K., he used to be married to her.  Still is.  OTB
says "Ouch!"  Thorne wants to talk to Sly.  How long have
you been seeing her.  Do you care for her?  Yeah, but
there's a problem.  She still has it for you, Thorny.  She
has it for lots of guys.  I saw you together.  That was a
show!  Sly insists.  (But being up against Macy in a bikini
wrapped in a towel deserves an encore!)  Thorne says I've
got a lady, and we're moving on.  You too, w/Macy if you
want.  You tell her, Thorne says.  It's more convincing
coming from you.  You two should get together.  Why?  Thorne
asks.  Maybe I care about her more than I realize.  Thorne
tells Sly to go for it.  Are you going to divorce her?  When
the time is right.  Sly urges him to talk to Macy.  About
what?  (dork) I've got commitments.  You do it.  Karen calls
-- she wants to have dinner.  She has something to tell him
that will make him happy!
     At the office, Eric tells Brooke she was cruel to
Stephanie.  They talk about how sure she is that Ridge is
the father.  It amazes me how much you believe it!  I don't.
Ridge was worried about what he was doing to me, so you
weren't doing the deed as often.  And you delivered a full-
term nine-month baby exactly nine months after our party
with Hans Kleber!  The odds are 50-50, but I think better!
Get ready for a shock, Brooke, because it's not Ridge, it's
me!  Brooke gives him a hard look, and leaves.  In the hall,
she says No!  It can't be!

Friday:

     Sheila sends the second puzzle piece to Lauren, with
precautions so Lauren won't know where it's from.  She looks
at the Eric picture, and with Ridge = Father of Nameme,
we'll be together!  I've got one week to mess up the
results.  Gotta get the password -- maybe I know someone.
She goes to have a coffee break with Sheila, and tells Mike
the guard, who's working on a computer degree part-time,
that smart guys rev her engines!  Do you know a lot about
computers?  she asks.  I know my way around a HARD drive he
says (A.D. -- I would've added "but software is really
exciting").  Gray's her favorite color.  You mean gray
matter, as in brain?  Yup, Sheila says, licking her lips,
show me a hot GIF and watch me go.  I'll bet you can do a
lot with a computer -- even get it to make love?
     (Do you ever get the impression somebody's talking to
you?)
     They continue on this dialogue, with Sheila practically
panting for Mike to run his fingers all over her soft keys,
and she wants to see a demo.  There's no terminal in the
guard station, but there is one in the gene lab.  They're
about to head down there to do some programming and natural
gene-splicing of their own, but Mike gets a security call.
Maybe another time?  Sure, but I can't (pant) wait (pant)
much (pant) longer (pant), Sheila hyperventilates.  SURE!
Mike says.  After he leaves, Sheila can't believe how close
she was!  But she'll get into that genetics computer!
     Jack comes to see Stephanie at the house.  He has to
talk -- about Ridge and Taylor.  He's worried about their
marriage.  The crisis has made them stronger, Stephanie
reports.  Unlike me, Jack says, a crisis messed up an
important relationship.  We were different.  Past tense?  Do
you think about me?  he asks.  Who cares -- you're involved
with somebody else.  What's the line on the Daddy?  Line?
It's a gambling term -- what're the odds?   Eric would be
the best of two bad choices.  You never gave up on Eric, did
you?  I did once, I thought I had a future with someone
else.  But I won't talk about it.  Please leave!  After Jack
leaves, Steph has a heartache.
     Brooke is going nutso in the office.  Can't believe
Eric might be right!  She checks the calendar as Ridge comes
in.  Why're you so crazy?  he asks.  Help me figure out when
the opportunity was -- my luscious, sexy self provided
plenty of motive.   She can't imagine it isn't his, she
wanted it to be his, it would be perfect.  I can't imagine
it isn't yours, but Eric has sown the seeds of doubt in my
mind.  They figure April 1 was the day (April Fool's day --
how appropriate), and that was the Kleber party.  How was
our relationship?  Brooke asks.  Well, it's not like I was
keeping a diary!   Sheila shows up in the hallway to hear
the last of this:  The April date jives with reality.  But
we don't know for sure.  Eric thinks so.  But that's not
what Brooke wants!  You love little Nameme -- she should be
able to call you father!  Ridge insists they'll accept the
results and move on.  The baby's the most important thing.
It's best either way.  Can you accept it?  Brooke says she
can't -- she wanted the baby to be theirs, and never wanted
anything more.

     (So now Sheila will partially justify her actions as
making Brooke a happy Pamper-er, too.)

     I'm done.



============================================================
|  James G. Acker                       Occasional Genius  |
|  jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov        Regular Swimmer    |
|                                                          |
|  "Animal-based research in this field ignores the fact   |
|  that in humans much sexual behavior has little to do    |
|  with reproduction both psychologically and physio-      |
|  logically..."                                           |
============================================================
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps