From: kzim@watserv.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Monday Night Raw - 11/1/93
Keywords: The definitive Monday Night Raw review by YOUR favourite USA reviewer
Date: 12 Jan 93 23:53:59 GMT


WWF Monday Night Raw, shown on the USA Network 11.1.93

Sean Mooney is standing in front of the arena, apparently so he can play  
bouncer to Bobby Heenan.

Credits...eh.  I've seen better.  Lots of Hart and Ramon...no Hogan.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Macho Man Randy Savage, and Rob Bartlett (from  
WFAN--mentioned here and on the show), who provide all commentary.  The crowd  
looks pumped.

Koko B. Ware v. Yokozima (Zomething different!)  Koko comes out to the "High  
Energy" theme...sigh.  Bartlett on Ware:  "I always wondered if Gary Coleman  
ever grew up."  Fuji seems to have bought some better girls.  Bartlett on  
'Zima: "He's got an ass like an amphitheatre."  My, you wouldn't hear that on  
a show that was (pick one) cut, censored, or cooked!  Looming, "you are  
there" shot through 'Zima's legs.  Lockup after about half an hour, Koko is  
powered away.  Repeat.  Koko tries a shoulder block, but 'Zima doesn't move.   
Repeat.  Koko tries a dropkick, but nothing.  Repeat.  By now, I'm wondering  
why r.s.p-w spent a week discussing the big man vs. little man matchup.   
Yokozuna decides to step aside and introduce Koko's neck to the rope, and  
down he goes.  'Zima with the Hogan leg drop, which looks a lot more painful  
when he does it.  'Zima with choke, throw into the corner, banzai zplash, and  
the big zitdown.  No zuplex, though.  1,2,3.

Ad for Rumble Royale.

Fairly good looking ring girl with a "Monday Night Raw" card.

Bobby Heenan (via tape) with "Narcissus" interview #2.

The Steiner Brothers v. The Executioners.  Yes, even the jobbers are the  
flashy ones for the debut.  The Clown makes an appearance, complete with  
sling.  Bartlett calls him "Dork," and it takes awhile for McMahon to correct  
him.  Pain and Agony are worse than ever.  During this match, Vince makes  
reference to that Buffalo Bill everyone is talking about.  We can presume Mr.  
McMahon is already readying his Tom Brokaw voiceover for outtakes from NFL  
Films.  Steiners finish with a reverse LOD finisher, presumably because they  
didn't want to try a live Frankensteiner the first week.

Heenan, dressed as Bartlett's aunt, is not let in by Mooney, who takes awhile  
before seeing right through the disguise.

Promos:  ICOPRO (Hart), Slim Jim (Savage), WWF game Cartridges

Vince interviews Razor Ramon.  It took Bret Hart eight and a half years to  
get the title, but it only took Ramon eight and a half months to get the  
shot.  Ramon throws the toothpick (tm) at Vince and the fans cheer.

Headlock on Hunget card reviewed, and address given.  I don't know if you  
caught "All-American Wrestling" (and why would you?) but they showed video  
from some benefit where WWF stars were.  Hidden amongst the faces was...Papa  
Shango.  No makeup, but a nice top hat.  The cameras tried to obscure him  
hangin' out with the faces by setting the camera to pick up things in front  
of him, but that top hat was always peeking out of the top, in the  
background.
Hrm.

Shawn Michaels v. Max Moon for the intercontinental title.  Look, Max Moon!   
I thought he was just like Duggan...oh wait, he is.  Lockup, Michaels with  
arm drag, reverse, ah hell, it's just too fast.  Crowd is chanting "Let's go  
Shawn..." Bartlett: "Coming up...Mayor Dinkins vs. Cardinal O'Connor!"   
Vince: "Uh, time permitting of course."  DAMN.  Will Moon's arm bar last  
through the ad break?  Let's hope so.  When we come back, we are treated to  
Michael's whipping Moon from corner to corner but missing when he follows  
Moon in.  Vince:  "Assuming Michaels wins, he'll be defending the title at  
the Rumble Royale against Marty Jannetty..." Geez Vince, way to suspend my  
disbelief.  Suddenly, we are privliged to an interview via phone with Mike  
Tyson, who sounds a helluva lot like Bartlett.  This was a waste of time.  I  
can hear the negotiations now..."Well, I'd like to be guest commentator, but  
I've gotta get a Tyson impersonation in somehow..."  Moon gets the grand  
momentum swing and a nice cradle, but Michaels (amazingly!) gets out at 2.   
Moon misses one move, and it's over.  The side suplex happens on the second  
attempt, and the three count is forthcoming.

WWF Mania ad.  "It's 100% caffeine free!"  Hey, so's steer manure.

I'm amazed that no real gimmickry has taken place in the ring yet.  I tell  
the guy sitting next to me, "I'll bet Papa Shango walks in on the  
Undertaker/DeMento match."

Mean Gene Okerlund with the RRR, sponsored by ICOPRO.  "You know, you've  
gotta want it."  New match:  Michaels/Jannetty for the IC title.  Sherri,  
after two months of ICOPRO, will be at ringside, but in whose corner will she  
be in (tm)?  Maybe she'll turn into a Miceli, too.  Hah.  Boring "she's mine"  
interviews from the combatants.  I'm just hoping Martel wears less than or  
equal to her SummerSlam outfit (hey, sue me).  Rumble:  Flair, Tatanks, IRS,  
Backlund, Lawler, Perfect (interview), DiBiase, Crush, Model, Yokozuna (Fuji  
"YOSH" interview), Savage, Shango, 'Quake, Berzerker, Undertaker, NEW:  "The  
Great Tenryu," El Matador Tito Santana, Typhoon, Headshrinker Samu,  
Headshrinker Fatu, Hacksaw Jim Duggan (interview in which he "can't guarantee  
I'll win..." heh heh).  And of course, the title matchup.

Mooney denies Heenan a third time.  This time he's dressed as Bartlett's  
uncle, a rabbi.

Let us take you back to Kamala.  He saw the light, you know.  All the  
commentary has been removed, a subtle improvement.  At least you can hear  
Slick's passion as he gives his lines.  I don't understand it:  After he was  
walloped by Kim Chee, shouldn't he have lost his amnesia and turned heel?

Damien DeMento v. The Undertaker.  Quite a staredown.  'Mentos with three  
chops, and two to the throat, but Undertaker slams his head into the canvas.   
Into the corner, arm wringer, tightrope walk, chop to the head, back into the  
corner, choke, into the opposite corner.  DeMento manages a knee, two chops  
and Undertaker rises.  'Mentos misses clothesline and goes down.  Tombstone  
piledriver (no "bounce" for the loser this time) for 3.  No Shango.  Hmmm.

Next Week:  Steel Cage Match - Woody Allen vs. Mia Farrow.  I think it was a  
joke.

Promos:  Cybergenics Phase 1 (Piscopo), Bicycle Playing Cards, Super High  
Impact Football Cartridges.

Vince interviews Doink, who badmouths Crush, who just happens to walk by.   
Slapstick chase around the ring ends with Crush posing and Doink in a  
laughter seizure.

Mooney and Heenan are on the roof.  As the closing copyright fades on screen,  
Mooney lets Heenan in the building.

Overall:  I liked it, except for the Tyson bit.  Bartlett: (A) has good  
writers, (B) ad libs pretty good.  I'd say it's 50-50.  Considering how much  
wrestling knowledge he has (ie: hardly any),  he's not a bad commentator.   
Boot Savage and put Heenan in, and you'd have a good team.  Vince seemed at  
ease, especially during the interview segments, and didn't really bother me,  
so lay off the man already.  Still, I wish it had been two hours.  Only four  
matches, of which one wasn't a downright squashfest (Moon/Michaels, although  
you knew the ending), but still good action (for WWF).  Thumbs up, but  
there's always room for improvement.

I have to add this about Titan employing already-employed people (NYC DJs) to  
do work for them, when there are so many other people (ie: me) without jobs  
(well, ok, non-campus jobs).
Think about it.

Christopher Zimmerman           =I have my Royal Rumble ticket=
  / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu / zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu /