From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: hypocritical Guvmints
Date: 22 Jul 92 15:16:58 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Edinburgh University

egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:


>Extra peeve: Home owners expecting to be bailed out of the mortgages
>which they can no longer afford. Owning a house is an investment -
>sometimes the price goes up, sometimes it goes down. If these same
>homeowners had sold their houses for a massive profit I don't suppose 
>they'd be falling over themselves to put some extra money back into
>the kitty, would they? Fuck 'em, I say.a

I think I can help you here Dr. Jeremy. You see  it's essential to the
Economic Recovery which is in sight just around the corner where
conditions are right and confidence has been rightly restored by the
re-election of the Tory Guvmint, that house prices are once more set on
their rising path.

The reason for this is that if house prices rise, people can have faith
once more that you can get money for nothing and so don't really need to
work for it. It's also a large advantage to the Country as a whole that
as much of people's savings is ploughed into houses because of all they
produce for the economy. To encourage folks to do this, the Government
pays one third of the interest on the first whack of the property. This
makes it a tax advantage to invest in property just in case there are
people out there who'd do something stupid like invest it in industry or
a business or something silly like that. Imagine the damage to the
economy if that happened.

The Guvmint must of course obtain this money from elsewhere and so in
order to give 75 pounds per month to everyone who owns a house, they
take money from everyone, whether they own a house or not. You see,
people who cannot afford a house want to feel that they have some stake
in this Boon To The Economy and so they are delighted at the opportunity
to contribute to the house of someone who can afford to buy one. This
also helps raise the price of houses even more thus removing any
lingering doubt about whether they might become an actual house owner.
They're very grateful that this doubt has been removed. We all know what
a problem doubt can be.

Building Societies are also benevolent organisations who will give you
ten or twenty times your savings in order that you can bid even more for
a house and ensure that as much money as possible is locked into the
domicile. Of course this kind of bidding is only possible in a limited
market. Again, Guvmint saves the day by ensuring that where there is
cheap land, it's impossible to build a house. This is known as Planning
Laws.

So you see, the Free market in housing makes it literally the powerhouse
of the economy. Children can be brought up in the sure knowledge that
House Prices Will Rise Forever. This is because housing is not like any
other form of investment, financial token, or commodity. People you see,
have to live in houses. This is what gives them the magical power to
increase in value regardless of the economic laws that govern other
assets. Borrowing money to buy a house is thus not speculation, but
investment. It's a Sure Thing and the Best Way To Beat Inflation. Not
only that, folks can talk endlessly over suburban dinners about all the
profit they've made with their genius for investment.

Now, you might be thinking here: "hang on a tick. House prices have been
dropping and I don't just mean in real terms, I mean literally
decreasing in value".

Now, admittedly it does look a bit like this. It is however important to
note that while they are in fact dropping in the Country As A Whole.
they are not dropping In Your Area. Your Area has been granted special
dispensation by the House Price Fairy. The Building Societies have also
told us that this is just a Blip and also a Healthy Breathing Space if
not actually a Plateau from Which Prices Will Rise Even Higher. In fact
they're forecast to Triple Again By The Year 2000. We are told that
houses are Now More Affordable Than Ever and this is especially the case
for The First Time Buyer who can get all sorts of Special Deals and who
Is Crucial To The Market since she Doesn't Need To Sell A House. Not
that houses won't sell, not if they are Realistically Priced. So while
there are Bargains Available you'd best Get On The Ladder since There
Are Signs Of Interest and prices will soon Resume Their Upward Trend.

Of course it'd be better if the Guvmint kept the Stamp Duty holiday
since houses should not only be exempt from Capital Gains Tax but from
any sort of tax whatsoever. There are also a Tiny Minority who have not
kept up payments on their mortgages and worse still, their houses are
somehow worth less than the mortgages. Not that the Building Societies
made any sort of mistake lending to these people or that the Guvmint
might have been a bit precipitate telling them all to buy a house. No.
It'd be best though if the Guvmint could see its way clear to maybe
subsidising these people a little more. Maybe instead of paying all
of their mortgage after 16 weeks, it might do it right away? After all,
it isn't these folks fault that they bought something with debt that was
too expensive for them to service. And while we're at it, thses folks
that have houses worth less than their mortgage can't move since they'd
be in debt once they sold. That means they can't buy another house.
Clearly this is very bad and the Guvmint would like to do something
about it? Maybe mortgage interest relief should be increased to help
them out? We'd all be delighted to pay more taxes to ensure that they
keep a house they can't afford. Maybe the Guvmint should even make good
their losses. I mean who would have expected the value to go down? It
wasn't like they were buying shares or anything.

So, once house prices start rising again the economy will turn the
corner and both will soar up and away into a glorious future where all
house owners will live happily ever after.

Peeve: I've met a lot of people who believe all of the above.

>-- 
>-Jeremy Henderson        egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk   

FoFP
Newsgroups: alt.peeves