From: leo@ph.tn.tudelft.nl (Leo Breebaart)
Subject: Kronto Singles Reviews Vol.2, #12
Followup-To: rec.music.misc
Summary: 29 Jul - 20 Aug
Originator: recmusic@galaxy
Reply-To: leo@ph.tn.tudelft.nl
Organization: Delft University of Technology
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 13:15:18 GMT

This is part twelve of my 1992 new singles reviews. It's a review of more-
or-less new singles that have come to my notice over the last few weeks. 
All opinions expressed are humbly mine. The rating system is simple:

****  = "Excellent", by the time you read this I will already have begged, 
        stolen or borrowed the album this song is on.
 ***  = "Above Average", if this song comes on the radio, I turn the volume
        up, and I will certainly try to get a hold of the album.
  **  = "Ok", this song is quite literally 'average', in the positive sense
        of the word. 
   *  = "Below Average", if this song comes on the radio, I turn the volume
        down, and pray for it to finish quickly.
 (0)  = "Worthless", songs that I can't understand *anyone* would like.

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WINNER OF THE WEEK:

CHEB KALED - Didi (***)

Hope I spelled the title right. To a purist, this song will be a horror:
Cheb Kaled's eastern rai song made thoroughly palatable to western 
audiences by using a conventional rhythm section + sax + Don Was
production. I have to be honest and admit however that I like this
westernized song much much better than any 'real' rai song I have heard
so far. This one is definitely recommended.


LOSER OF THE WEEK:

CELINE DION & PEABO BRYSON  - Beauty And The Beast (0)

>From the Quincy Jones / James Ingram / Patti Austin school of soft soul
ballads comes another tepid, insipid, uninspired MOR offering. This is the
type of music that has caused the death of soul -- nobody appears to be 
making any soul with guts, with balls anymore. (Come to think of it, 
where *is* Terence Trent d'Arby when you need him?)


OTHER SONGS:

GEORGE MICHAEL - Too Funky (***)

This is the first time in ages that Georgie surprises me with a song that
is fun and memorable. This is mainly caused by the cute synthesizer arpeggio
thingy, that I'm almost sure he borrowed from a 70s/80s disco tune.
Anybody recognize it? "Bad Mama Jama" comes to mind, but I'm not sure.


SOPHIE B. HAWKINS - Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover (**)

Competent blue-eyed rock/soul number by a graduate of the Melissa Etheridge
school for gutsy female vocalists. Too standard MOR to be very interesting,
I'm afraid.


MADONNA - This Used To Be My Playground (0)

Madonna was never at her best in the ballads, because here her lousy
voice really becomes an obvious problem. In addition, 'playground' is
an overlong, mindlessly boring, completely unoriginal drone of a song,
and its unfortunate popularity is a complete mystery to me. And
I used to think 'Live To Tell' was bad...


KRISS KROSS - Warm It Up (0)

I always like to come to the rescue of commercial acts that the 'cool people'
on the net feel nothing but contempt for. But in the case of Kriss Kross even 
I must admit defeat. Some fat men in expensive suits are laughing themselves 
silly over this while the dollar signs light up in their eyes. These kids
are manipulated, we are manipulated, the music is a travesty without any
redeeming value, and the dollars just flow and flow and flow.


TOM COCHRANE - Life Is A Highway (**)

Average rock song. A bit too slick, perhaps. What else to say?


BOBBY BROWN - Humpin' Around (***)

I never cared much for Brown's previous stuff, so this high-energy, funky
dance-song came as a very pleasant surprise. Memorable, danceable, and
just different enough to set it apart from others of its kind, I think
this is rightfully going to be a big hit everywhere. I hope Whitney
Houston gets similarly inspired by her relationship with Bobby for *her*
next release (but when?).


ROTTERDAM TERMINATION SOURCE - Poing (0)

This song is #2 on the Dutch charts, heaven help us. It consists of
nothing else but some drum-beats and an endlessly repeated sample of
a computer-game type 'poing' sound. No vocals, no synths, not even
a bass. This has got to be most horrible song I have heard in a 
*long* long time. For your sake I hope it never makes it big outside of
the Netherlands...


COVER GIRLS - Wishing On A Star (*)

I don't mind covers of good songs, and Rose Royce's classic *is* a 
good song, but this is one of those add-nothing covers, that make
you wonder why they ever bothered in the first place. There is
absolutely no reason not to prefer the original over this (admittedly
competent, if somewhat sterile) new version.

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All remarks, agreements, disagreements, additions, or factual error
corrections welcome.

-- 
Leo Breebaart  (leo @ ph.tn.tudelft.nl)

Newsgroups: rec.music.reviews