HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kgatling@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Keith E Gatling)
Subject: Re: I don't want to be scrooge (long)
Organization: Syracuse University, Syracuse, NY
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 15:05:08 EST

Well, I had posted this privately, but since so many other people have since
posted to the net, and this just might help out a few others down the line
(especially men who need to take a serious hint from this), I figured I'd
post it to the world at large.  Here goes...

====================

Judi:

Well, I've thought about this for a bit from my perspecitive of marriage and
family, and let me tell you what I think about the whole situation.

First of all, I really believe that part of my job as Cheryl's husband is to
defend her against other people, especially and including my family (Cheryl
added that this doesn't include things like accusations of being an ax
murderer), and that her job description includes the same.  I am to defend
her against me family *even when it might get me in hot water with the rest
of my family*...and vice versa.

Now...that having been said, it seems from what I read of your situation
that your husband (in *my* opinion...we have to be very careful not to
insult here) isn't doing his job.  He's letting *you* get walked on because
he doesn't want to upset mama.

The thought occurred to me that perhaps your mother-in-law went through
exactly what you're going through when she was first married and once the
coast was clear for her to do things *her* way (I can't recall whether or
not you said that she grew up here or moved to this country away from her
family) she was going to do it for as long as she could force it upon
others...the same way it was done to her.  It's nice to be understanding
about this, but you still need to stand up for not only your rights, but the
rights of every other person who married one of her kids to have their
family traditions considered too.  Who knows, it could be that they *all*
want to have things changed but don't have the guts to go up against Mama.

There is one good thing to this...as your kids grow up and they enter into
relationships with members of the opposite sex, you can let them know how
important it is to consider the traditions of *both* families when they get
married...and even to create new ones of their own.  To tell them that they
need to work these things out equitably between themselves and to not feel
like you're still trying to force *your* family tradtions on them once
they've left the nest.

No...I think that just forgetting about it to not make waves is only going
to make it worse for everyone in the long run, and that you should really
try getting some sort of equitable solution.  Of course, *I'm* not the one
who'll have to pick up the pieces if this all blows up in your face.

Well...let me know what happens.


-- 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* Keith E Gatling                                  kgatling@mailbox.syr.edu *
*          Opinions?  I've got plenty of them.  Just ask my wife!           *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
From: mark@whizbang.wariat.org (Mark W. Schumann)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: "Private Time" with the Kids
Date: 21 Dec 92 02:36:25 GMT
Reply-To: mark@whizbang.wariat.org
Organization: The Software Sweatshop, Cleveland, Ohio USA


Ahelmers@umiami.ir.miami.edu writes:

 > In article <85551@ut-emx.uucp>, wiebe@ut-emx.uucp (Anne Hill Wiebe) writes:
 > 
 > > (BTW:  where are these
 > > children who actually sleep 12 hours out of 24, that the baby
 > > books talk about???  Mine won't nap at daycare and sleeps about
 > > 8-9 hours at home.)

 > The "secret"?  Probably partly constitutional but both my children are
 > *EXTREMELY* active.  I always suspect that if you run a kid enough you will get > a lot better sleep.  This is my own personal theory, but I know that mine are
 > constantly on the move, not very into television, and extremely physical. 
 > They're just tuckered out :).  The other thing is we keep a pretty firm
 > schedule.  But then again, that just follows from them being tired.  If they
 > weren't it wouldn't make much sense to force 'em into bed.

Yep.  My little <adele@whizbang> is just like that.  We've also observed
that on the nights when I am primary caregiver (which is not all that
often) she sacks out earlier... probably because we do a lot more
chasing and crawling and banging on the piano and throwing the Big Red
Ball around.  And Adele at 16 months still sleeps about twelve hours a
day.  (Yeah!)

--
Mark W. Schumann/3111 Mapledale Avenue/Cleveland, Ohio 44109-2447 USA
Domain: mark@whizbang.wariat.org                      CIS: 73750,3527
"We're not nuts or anything; I mean *I'm* not nuts." <whizbang!judy>
From: rollo@xylogics.com (Dena Rollo)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: "my wife and I are pregnant" - NO WAY
Date: 16 Dec 92 18:52:16 GMT
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu


A recent post contained the statememt: "My
wife and I are pregnant..." There's no point
in naming the poster, as this is something I
read/hear quite often.

Now, I *know* it is meant to convey the fact
that the man  is involved, concerned, supportive,
etc.

It always annoyed me on principle, because it's
inaccurate. But now that I've carried a pregnancy
to term, it makes me crazy.

So here's a message to all non-pregnant partners of
pregnant women: YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT. Your *partner*
is pregnant. She is experiencing all kinds of emotions,
sensations, aches and pains, flutters and kicks that you
are not experiencing.

I know that if Michael had used this terminology, not
only would I not have considered it supportive - I would
have considered it as trivializing the pregnancy and
my experiences.

So, isn't there another way to express your feeling of
being part of the team?

thanks, Dena
Xref: sparky misc.kids:30672 alt.dads-rights:2987 alt.child-support:3990 soc.men:21302 soc.women:21568
From: sbishop@desire.wright.edu
Newsgroups: misc.kids,alt.dads-rights,alt.child-support,soc.men,soc.women
Subject: Re: Neglected or Abused Children, CPS, Foster Care and Prison
Date: 17 Dec 92 06:30:27 EST
Organization:  Wright State University 

In article <1992Dec16.133216.27083@philabs.philips.com>, rac@philabs.philips.com (Regina Conrad) writes:
> In New York State, a teacher is required by law to report a child being
> left home alone.     Age, persoality, time duration, place,  etc... , as I 
> understand it, cannot be taken into acount by the teacher.
> 
> However, one cannot call CPS and get permision to leave a child.

You can, however, call them up and say, 'I can't keep my child because of
xxxx (I'm on drugs, there's no food in the house, my kid is uncontrollable
and I don't want them, if you don't get this kid away from me I'm going
to kill it, I'm going into drug rehab and I have no place for my kids.......)

> You need to be reported, investigated, and deemed "not unsafe or neglectful".
> (As I understand it,  they can't say "It's safe", cause you can
> sue them if something happened to your child. ??)

You can self-report.

> 
> Or lie and teach your child to lie to authorities ( I can't do that.)
> 
> I would be interested in "the law " and any procedures involved.
> Shiela Finn

Talk to your local CS, they can tell you exactly what their guidelines are.
In our county, money is so tight that they have trouble finding funds to
put a child into foster care.
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: tigger@satyr.Sylvan.COM (Grace Sylvan)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Sesame Street is HARMFUL to children (Was something else)
Date: 20 Dec 92 21:26:42 GMT
Organization: Sylvan Associates

My daughter really enjoys Sesame Street, and she has learned some of
her alphabet and numbers and it continues to spark her interest in
reading. I don't consider it high education, but it is surely better
for her than most of the rest of the stuff on TV, and it gives her a
quite activity to do for a while that doesn't involve *me*.

She also loves Barney, and while Sesame Street has inspired her with
numbers and letters, Barney has inspired her with singing. (As did the
kindergym class at the YMCA, the audio tapes we play and sing along
with, etc). Barney and Sesame Street are the bulk of her TV watching,
and not every day, either.
-- 

Tigger (Grace Sylvan)                Mom of Katherine Yelena, 8/8/89,
tigger@satyr.sylvan.com              Corey 1/31/91; we loved him so,
                                     Robin Gregory born 2/28/92

 "It seems to me that our large goal is to find the ways to help our
 children become humane and strong."
 
              - Dr Haim Ginott quoted by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
From: gpalo@digi.lonestar.org (Gerry Palo)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: After the Stork catalog
Date: 11 Dec 92 23:03:58 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: DSC Communications Corp, Plano, TX

In article <Bywqzp.9AH@acsu.buffalo.edu> birgenom@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (T.B. Shows/ Maureen Sion) writes:
>Hello.  I have just received the After the Stock sale catalog.
>There are a few things that I would like to order but I've
>never ordered through this company before and I'm wondering
>what the quality of the clothes is and if their sizes are
>fairly accurate.   Does anyone know?
>
>Thanks,
>Maureen
>BIrgenom@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu

My wife has found that their quality is pretty good, but they
have botched up so many orders and been so late so often that
she has stopped ordering from them.  She wrote a letter, 
complaining but considerate, pointing out among other things
that with infants and small children a delay of several months
can render an item too small by the time you get it.  They
never answered our letter, sent us a refund for the returned,
useless item (not what we ordered  for the third time, and by 
then too small for our three year old), but they continue to 
send their catalogs.

For good cotton clothing, check out Hanna Anderson in Portland
Oregon.  Excellent quality and service.

Meanwhile, hopefully they will get their management act together.
There are too few good sources for the kind of clothing they 
offer.

Gerry Palo (73237.2006@compuserve.com)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: jxl@philabs.philips.com (Judith A. Lucian)
Subject: Choosing the sex of your baby
Organization: Philips Laboratories, Briarcliff Manor, NY.
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 20:46:55 GMT



This is the first time that I have posted in this net. I was wondering if
anyone had any informative data on this subject.  My husband and I have a
beautiful little girl but my husband wants a son and I would like to know if
anyone out there has any feedback on this.  I am doing some research on it
through library books that I have taken out but I was wondering if anyone on
the net has had any experience with this personally.
Thanks, 
Judy Lucian

E-mail or post
jxl@philabs.philips.com
From: kid@kibnet.kiber.vladimir.su (kid)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: I want to have a pen-friend. I'm russian boy.
Date: Thu, 10 Dec 92 18:28:39 +0300
Distribution: world
Organization: KIBER Kovrov Company
Reply-To: kid@kibnet.kiber.vladimir.su



My name is Sasha Usachev. I am 13. I study in the 8th form.
My favourite subjects are P.T. and Chemistry. I like to
take pictures,play football and basketball,listen
to music and watch TV.I want to have a pen-friend,
a boy.
From: ken@advtech.uswest.com (Kenny Chaffin)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: A few facts about circumcision
Date: 17 Dec 92 15:49:18 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: U S WEST Advanced Technologies

In article <1992Dec16.194527.1073@dsd.es.com> ksouth@dsd.es.com writes:
>In article <1992Dec15.181822.27762@newstand.syr.edu>, kgatling@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Keith E Gatling) writes:
>> As a circumcised male who likes the ease of maintenance which circumcision
>> affords, who has found that it has not interfered with my sex life, who did
>> anyone else have anything *good* to say about it?  Surely I'm not the only
>> one who feels this way?
>> 
>
>Yeah, me! I'm female, my husband was circumcised, and any sons we have will
>likely
>be circumcised. I haven't seen that my husband has suffered in any way 
>whatsoever for being circumcised. He agrees with me. I really don't care what
>is currently fashionable as regards the question of to-circumcise-or-not-to-
>circumcise. I see the whole thing as a wash. If and when the vast  majority of
>males born in the USA are not circumcised, then I would not want a newborn
>son to be circumcised. The important thing is not to cause the kid unnecessary
>psychological problems simply because his parents wanted to be different. I
>think having genitals that don't look like the majority in the locker room
>could certainly cause some personality types psychological problems! If my
>husband felt differently, I would certainly go along with his views. He has
>a lot more experience being male than I do :)
>
	Sorry, but this is stupid. First you say it's a wash and then you go
ahead to say you are going to remove a God-given piece of any sons you have.
You go on to say this is to prevent any psychological damage. Well honey I
tell you if being different is going to damage your kids psychologically, the
you havent done your job as a parent--Every kid is different and they must
be taught to respect themselves both physically and mentally. Being the
same as everyone else is _not_ the answer. Looking inside and knowing
one's self is.

KAC

Opinions? Can anyone actually _have_ opinions or are they no more 
than dust motes floating in the sunlight of collective intellect.

Kenny A. Chaffin                      {...boulder}!uswat!ken
U S WEST Advanced Technologies         ken@dakota.uswest.com
4001 Discovery Drive  Boulder, CO 80303	     (303) 541-6355
 
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: silverm@bcstec.ca.boeing.com (Jeff Silverman)
Subject: Re: Choosing the sex of your baby
Organization: Boeing Computer Services
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 22:43:48 GMT

6197110@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM writes:

>I have an aunt who once told me this method of choosing the sex of your
>baby:

>If you want a girl, sleep with girl clothes under your pillow.
>If you want a boy, sleep with boy clothes under your pillow.

>:)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)

>(I guess this isn't the kind of information you're looking for, though, is
>it?)

>Ramona
 I think she is looking for information along the lines of altering the pH of
the vagina or optimal timing to push the odds in the direction they want them 
to go.  The reason I cite these examples is that, once upon a time, I was told
that male sperm swim at a different rate than female sperm, and had different
susceptibilities to pH - but I forget the details.
In any event, I have a little girl who wants to be a Blue Angel, to get in
a fighter airplane and make the world safe for democracy (or at least further
American geopolitical interests) so maybe one shouldn't pin one's happiness
on the gender of one's offspring - but rather one seeing that the offspring
can be a real, responsible, human being.

Jeff Silverman, Boeing (we don't make Navy fighters, incidentally, so this
isn't a plug)

Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: ishizaki@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com (Audrey Ishizaki)
Subject: Re: AMA Calls for Ban on Infant Walkers
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 17:45:34 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Laboratories Palo Alto,CA

>Dena Rollo (rollo@xylogics.com) wrote:
>: 
>: Kate Gregory writes (in a post I thought was
>: a good response to questions about walker safety):
>: 
>: 
>: As for why they are banned, that is another issue. Does the danger
>: outweigh the benefit? Is there any benefit? Can alert parents
>: counteract the danger? 
>: 

I used a walker with my son before he could crawl.  We followed (at my
insistence) very strict rules about usage.  Dale could not be in the
walker longer than 20 minutes at a time.  We never used the walker more
than one 20 minute session in a two hour period - in fact, we tended to
use it only at our mealtimes.  One parent had to be in eye contact with
the baby while in the walker.  Once he started crawling/creeping, Dale
could no longer use the walker.

Our house is all one level (indoors, that is), and has wood floors thru
most of the house.  Dale loved being able to maneuver himself around (and
learned to circle the kitchen island).  It was handy for us to use, so
my husband and I could eat together, but there's no denying that Dale
enjoyed his time in the walker.

As to developmental delays, it's impossible for us to know, but he crawled
at 7 months and walked at 11 months, which is both well within norms.

audrey ishizaki
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: mwalker@taimyr.Colorado.EDU (Marilyn Walker)
Subject: Re: Nursing chair recommendation
Organization: University of Colorado at Boulder
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 23:34:22 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.200646.1475@dsd.es.com> ksouth@dsd.es.com writes:
>
>I'm wondering what kind of chair to get for the nursery. I would really like
>it to rock easily, but I don't think all-wooden rockers are comfortable. Has
>anyone bought one of those padded rockers that sort of swings back and forth
>as opposed to truly rocking. Are they junk? Do they hold up? Does your baby
>like the movement? I'm sure a La-Z-Boy would be comfortable, but I really
>want to generate a lot of movement if that is what baby prefers. Does anyone
>have an all-wooden rocker that really is comfortable for nursing? If this
>discussion has been exhausted at some point in the past, maybe someone can
>pass on info. they collected at the time.
>
>Thanks!
>
>-- 
>Kerri South, Evans & Sutherland Computer Corporation
>Design Systems Division, P.O. Box 8070, 
>Salt Lake City, Utah 84108        (801) 582-5847 
>INET: ksouth@dsd.es.com

We have a lazy boy type chair that reclines but doesn't rock, an antique wood
rocker with a high back, and two of the glider rockers that you asked about,
one with an ottoman that also glides.  I use them all, as they are all in
different parts of the house, and each has its advantages.  The lazy boy is
wonderful as I can lay back and fall asleep with the baby on my chest, and 
in his earliest weeks my husband and I both spent parts of nights sleeping 
there.  After _finally_ lulling him to sleep, we didn't have to move him.  
It is also comfortable for nursing, as the original poster noted.  The wood
rocker has the best motion, and it is plenty comfortable.  The trick is nice
soft pillows to sit on and lean back against.  The gliders are the least amount
of effort to create the rocking motion, and the matching ottoman is really nice.
Having your feet up while nursing saves your back and arms.  If I had to choose
one, I would get a lazy boy that rocked.  If it wasn't  easy to rock, I'd go
for the glider with the ottoman.  Mine both have lifetime warranties on the
rocking mechanism, so holding up doesn't seem to be an issue.

Marilyn Walker
mwalker@taimyr.colorado.edu
From: vnoronha@dagwood.intel.com (Valerie Noronha)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: >>>A few facts about circumcision
Date: 18 Dec 92 22:30:24 GMT
Reply-To: vnoronha@dagwood.intel.com (Valerie Noronha)
Organization: Intel Corporation, Santa Clara, CA USA


In article <ssimmons.724600316@convex.convex.com>, ssimmons@convex.com
(Steve Simmons) writes:
|> My question is what is the folklore behind both the Jews and Moslems
requiring
|> circumcision.  I am Jewish myself and have been told that it is merely 
|> custom. 

The reason for circumcision dates back to the Bible.  My husband and I recently
looked it up out of curiosity.  It is mentioned in Genesis where God makes a
covenant with Abraham that he will be the father of the chosen people, the
Jews.  As a sign of this covenant, Abraham was to have his sons circumcised
on the eighth day and so on with all descendants.  I believe that Moslems
also following this practice as many Jewish prophets are their prophets
as well.  Perhaps a Moslem can confirm this, though. This, of course, changes
in the New Testament in which Paul states Jesus came to save all, not just the
Jews; hence, Christians are not bound by the covenant of circumcision as with
other Jewish rituals.

Valerie Noronha
From: mpaul@unlinfo.unl.edu (marxhausen paul)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: A few facts about circumcision
Date: 16 Dec 92 13:56:29 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Nebraska--Lincoln
NNTP-Posting-Host: unlinfo.unl.edu

kgatling@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Keith E Gatling) writes:

>have to ask isn't there anyone else out there willing to defend it?  Doesn't
>anyone else have anything *good* to say about it?  Surely I'm not the only
>one who feels this way?

I've followed all these articles, read the FAQ, with great interest as we
have another child on the way.  To me, the accounts that strike home with
the greatest persuasion are a couple of respondents who _did_ have urolo-
gical complications later in life that required them to be circumcised _then_, 
with far more pain and difficulty.  Their position was, "I sure wish I'd had 
it done as a baby".
--
paul marxhausen .... ....... ............. ............ ............ .......... 
 .. . .  . . . university of nebraska - lincoln .  . . .. . .  .. . . . . . . .
 .     .    .  .   .     .   .  .    .   .  .   .    .   .  grace .   .    .  . 
   .         .       .      .        .        .      .        .   happens .
From: valjorge@leapyear.EBay.Sun.COM (Valerie Jorge)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Christmas toys
Date: 14 Dec 1992 18:18:13 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: leapyear.ebay.sun.com


I think you are right in there for a great gift.  My 9YO stepdautger
asked for both a microscope and chemistry set.  We bought her a
microscope at Toys R Us for $29.99 (they ranged from about $20 to $100)
It has a microscope, some slides, tweezers, scaple, etc.

We also got her a kitchen chemistry set (I didn't want anything that
she would use in her room that needed water, made a mess, or would
ruin the carpet or burn down the house :-).  We got the kitchen
chemistry set at Imaginarium (I don't know where you are, but
there is an Imaginarium at both Stanford in Palo Alto and Valley
Fair in San Jose, CA).  I also got her (at Imaginarium) an
electronics set that makes 5 different toys that move by
remote control or something.  Dad is into electronics so this
goes right in line with his stuff.  Jenny really likes to
do things with her dad.

Happy shopping!

Valerie


In article <1992Dec12.000522.1767@pacdata.uucp> jimh@pacdata.com (Jim Harkins) writes:
>I've got a 9 year old niece, and as it's been mumble years since I was that age
>I thought I'd ask some of you.  I've been avoiding the barbie doll-homemaker
>crap so far, now I'd like to get her a science kit of some sort.  Is 9 too
>young for a chemistry set, or microscope?  The packages say 9 and up, but I
>don't know how accurate those are.  What do you all think?
>
>Maybe I should just trust myself.  Last year I got her a kids encyclopedia,
>she said 'Yuck uncle Jim'.  My sister was telling me last month the thing has
>been with her since I got it, she loves it.  Bet that damn barbie is under
>the bed somewhere :-)
>
>To keep up my 'uncle from hell' rep I also got her a tiny microphone that
>xmits on a radio band.  I'll be sure to suggest places she can put it.....
>
>jim
>
>-- 
>Plumbers Motto:  A flush beats a full house.
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>Jim Harkins                         [ucsd|uunet]!pacdata!jim
>Pacific Data Products               jim@pacdata.com
>--------------------------------------------------------------
>