From: njs@scifi.uucp (Nicholas J. Simicich)
Subject: Re: Recipes For The Cooking Inept??
Summary: Gravy for the cooking inept
Organization: Nick Simicich, Peekskill, NY
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 1992 04:12:39 GMT

I was amazed to see, on the shelf in the store a while back, a can of
gravy.  I was surprised that something so simple to make would be
canned as if it was hard to make.  At the end of this lesson, you will
be able to make your own gravy, from scratch, amazing your friends and
confounding your S/O.

You might want to be able to make gravy at any time.  The ingredients
are basically staples, that you'll be able to keep on a shelf for over
a year.  You can buy gravy fixins once, and you'll have them for a
year, except for the milk.  I'm going to give both a method and a
philosophy of gravy below.  But if you could make gravy at a moments
notice, think about how the addition of gravy would change the six
things you can make (no, macaroni and cheese with gravy is not an
option).

Things you should buy and keep: 

  Wondra flour.  Get the tube with the shaker top.  Yep, this flour is
  really a wonder.  Why?  Because it dissolves without tending to form
  lumps, instead of lumping up.  This phenomenon, 'lumpy gravy' was
  the bane of many moms, and the name of at least one record album.
  You still have to stir, some, but not as much.

  Boullion.  I'm not a fan of boullion cubes, but they are better than
  nothing.  However, these little jars of Bouvril are really good.
  Get beef and chicken.  Or whatever you think you will like.

  Salt.  Yep.  But if you use boullion, you probably won't need it.

  Pepper.  "Makes no difference if its black or white."

  Do you like dark brown gravy?  Chances are that it arrives at this
  color with a concoction called "Kitchen Bouquet".  This only has
  limited use in the kitchen, or so I feel.  It is carmelized
  vegetables, and is the home cook's version of caramel color.  But
  for making dark brown gravy without sweat, it works real well.

  Herbs.  Sage helps the flavor of gravy.  But you will probably be
  perfectly happy with something that you can buy called 'Poultry
  Seasoning' that contains sage and some other stuff.  You can use
  this in lots of stuff, and it does well in gravy, and keeps you from
  using an herb mix that is too unbalanced.

You've spent about 10 bucks.  You can now make gravy about 20 times.

What should prompt you to make gravy?  Well, pan drippings from frying
for one, or the liquid from cooking the fowl that you are too inept to
cook.  In fact, whenever you look at the liquid in a pan, you should
be thinking, "Is it time for gravy?  How about these burgers.  What if
I made gravy and served them open faced with hot gravy?  How about
this liver and onions?  Would it taste good with gravy?  Should I make
gravy with this chicken that I wasn't supposed to cook because I was
so inept?  Instead of eggs for breakfast, how about gravy made with
the bacon drippings over Pillsbury poppin fresh biscuits, (which can
be made by anyone who has an oven and a timer)."  One of my favorites,
that I eat very rarely these days, is fried kidneys made in Kidney
gravy.

For that matter, some folks like gravy so much that they will fry
onions until they get real brown to make onion gravy, or they will fry
a little beef fat to make beef gravy (but that doesn't work as well).

Step 1:  Pour off most of the grease.  You want only a couple of
tablespoons of drippings to start with, unless you plan on making a
whole couple quarts of gravy, you don't want it too greasy.  If you
don't have a couple of tablespoons of grease, supplement with
vegetable oil.  If you must, you can start with plain vegetable oil.
Add extra boullion to the water in step two.  Consider browning a
little onion or garlic in plain oil, or a slice of bacon.

Step 2: Prepare the stock that will go into the gravy, eventually.  If
you have non-greasy pan drippings, (or skim the grease) well, just
warm them over low heat or zap them.  If not, boil a couple of cups of
water, and drop in your favorite boullion liquid or cube.  One secret
is to put nearly boiling liquid into the mix at the appropriate point.
If you know you are going to make gravy, start heating your boullion
about the same time you start your burgers, or a few minutes after you
turn your chicken.

Step 3: Heat the pan to slow-medium frying temperature.  Put in about
a half again as much flour as you have grease.  In other words, if you
started with two tablespoons of grease, put in three tablespoons of
flour.  Fry.  Stir.  The mixture should be pretty stiff.  If it isn't
stiff enough to where it seems a little dry, use the shaker top to
shake some flour on.  If you get it too dry, don't worry.  Keep
stirring.  When it browns just a little, or is sticking to the pan,
you are ready for step 3.

Step 4: It is time to make the gravy.  Real simply: Add the hot water
a little at a time. Stir lots between additions.  A whisk helps here,
but a fork will do.  You know what consistency you want your gravy to
be.  Add more liquid a little at a time, stirring between additions,
until it approaches that consistency.  At one point, you may have a
single lump, sort of attached to your fork.  Add more hot liquid, and
stir, stir, stir.  Allow it to boil.  Taste it.  It probably tastes
flat.  Add some pepper.  Add some salt.  Taste it again.  If it gets
too thick, add some more liquid.  If it is too thin, add some flour.
Too thin is better than too thick.  Add some herbs, not too much.
Maybe 1/4 tsp, then boil for a minute, then taste, then maybe add a
little more.  Let it boil, not too hard, for 3-4 minutes after you add
flour the last time.

Step 5:  Brown gravy only --- add a couple of drops of Kitchen Bouquet
(the jar will stick closed, hot tap water will loosen it).  White
chicken gravy should probably be finished with a dollop of milk.

[My grandmother used to add her water a tablespoon at a time, and use
a little soy sauce for color.  Your job is much easier, because you
have Wondra and Kitchen Bouquet on your side.]

Now, if you were cooking stuff in the pan, probably some crud got on
on the pan, like if you were cooking burgers, bits of browned meat
stuck to the pan.  This will boil off of the pan, and become part of
the gravy.  If you browned onions, the onions will partially dissolve
in the gravy and add flavor.  This is a feature, a desirable goal, and
is one of the marks of an excellent gravy, unless the stuff on the pan
was really burned black.

Again if you are making chicken gravy, I find that adding a dollop of
milk (not more than 1/4 cup) after I turn off the gas off and stirring
it in helps the flavor.

Advanced topics:  If I have prepared a seasoned/herbed flour to dredge
chicken in, I will always make the gravy with that seasoned flour.
Cayenne pepper dresses up a gravy in moderate quantities.  There are
many other styles of gravy, but this is the one I think you are likely
to use the most often.  It is also the simplest.

Gravy is one of the simplest things I make.  Sometimes, if I'm feeling
charitible to the dogs, I'll make gravy anyway, even though I don't
want it, and pour it over their food.  They tell me that they like it
a little blander than I usually make it.  It is so easy that it really
doesn't take up any extra time.

-- 
Nick Simicich - uunet!bywater!scifi!njs - njs@watson.ibm.com
SSI #AOWI 3958, HSA 318, NAUI #14065
Join the movement ---  turn 'to bush' into a verb.