From: dam@dcs.glasgow.ac.uk (David Morning)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.europe
Subject: Re: English Words and Behavior
Date: 13 Oct 92 15:32:13 GMT
Organization: Glasgow University Computing Science Dept.

A.Bulogiorgos@bradford.ac.uk (A BULOGIORGOS) writes:

>Some words and phrases that have a stupid meaning in English in
>another country than England.

>Do you know that English people use very strange the English language?
>For example when they want to say chips instead they say 'crisps' 
>while 'chips' has the same meaning as 'french fries'!  So if you want
>to buy a pack of chips you must say: 'a pack of crisps please!...'

Except that 'chips' are about 4 times the size of those skinny frizzled things
they call 'french fries'
Crisps are called crisps because they're..well...crispy!


>This story proves how "perfect" they can speak English these
>"proud" people. That's probably why they drive from the left hand 
>side of the street.

No. We drive on the left hand side of the road for the express purpose
of eliminating foreign tourists.

>But there is more!

>In the North of England, for instance, in West Yorkshire, they can't
>pronounce the 'a'.  They say 'ou' instead of 'a' in words such as bus,
>much, cup, love and generally words which include an 'u'. They tend to
>pronounce these words as: bous, mouch, coup, louve and so on...  More 
>or less lets say the gorila's dialect.
>E.g.: Where the bus is going?  In Yorkshire they say:
>Whouere the boush is gouing?

..and if you come to Scotland, they'll say buhs and if you go to Cornwall
they'll say something different... and if you work for the BBC...ahhhhh!


>That's not the end however.

>English people never say 'antenna' they are always say 'aerial'. Which
>actually means something on the air including antenna of course. But the
>right word is 'antenna' which only means antenna and nothing else.

Yes, beetles and wasps have very good antennae, just right for receiving
the BBC though they haven't gotten round to developing satellite dishes for
them yet.


>If you live in this country for some time you will discover a whole lot of
>strange things and behavior. For instance the front door handle is not
>opening from the right hand side from the inside but from the left! In other
>words their doors are made for left handed people!!!

Mine does!! Doors are handed (the side they open at) on the basis of internal
construction of the house. Lot's of different types of houses - lots of
different handing.

>A motorway in England means a highway or autoband or autostrada. Which of 
>these words would you perceive better as a street with many lanes and a
>separating "pavement" (for example) where cars are allowed to run fast?

>And why they say 'dual carriage way' when they are reffering to a street
>without the separating "pavement" in the middle. 'Dual carriage way' means 
>a street where only two carriages (with horses) can travel (and a lot of
>horse shit on their trail).

Nope, you've got that wrong. A street without a seperating bit in the middle is
called a 'single carriageway", A street with a seperator is called a dual
carriageway' and a street with a seperator AND an extra breakdown lane called
the 'hard shoulder' on the left is called a motorway. Motorways are usually
easily distinguished from dual carriageways as they are usually littered
with clumps of broken cars piled on top of each other. Popularly known as
"pile-ups".
Best way to get involved in one of these is to drive at high speed on the
hard shoulder in fog. You will inevitably come across a 30 tonne truck parked
in it and when you hit the truck, you can rest assured that all the people who
were following you, thinking you knew a short cut will do likewise.

>Have you ever heard of the word "Eurosceptics". A word created in England
>from those oposing the Maastricht treaty. It is like saying "Computer-
>sceptics". Do we really require this technology or not?  (Thats the style
>of a questions they ask in England when they see something new). A Computer-
>sceptic will say:  "I thing we don't really need computers to do our job
>better. We managed pretty well all these years without these blody
>machines..."

Europhobe any better?

>And that's only a small taste of the strange behavior of English people
>who believe their standard of living and their methods are the best in
>the world!

..and so they are!


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