From: sykopath@leland.Stanford.EDU (Mickey)
Subject: Re: Any suggestions for when you feel depressed for no reason?
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 06:16:45 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.194439.22444@cbnewsm.cb.att.com> jeffj@cbnewsm.cb.att.com (jeffrey.n.jones) writes:
>In article <1992Oct11.222308.1960@gacvx2.gac.edu> emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp) writes:
>>Somewhere in here, Mickey (that's me!) writes:
>>>Should I go and look for a friend (or is that just being dependent)?
>>>
>>>....she thought it funny that I even needed to ask, because of *course*
>>>she had enjoyed our earlier conversation.
>>>
>>>This helped a lot, actually, as my impression of that conversation had
>>>been one of the things supporting my depression.
>>
>>Sounds like you need to re-examine the way you perceive things.

Um...yah, this is true.  It's also just a *wee* bit self-evident...:)
But yes, I think I often tend to perceive things more negatively than
they actually are, when it involves myself (I tend to perceive other 
people more positively than a hypothetical "neutral observer" would, 
but myself more negatively).
This is apparently a common characteristic of us NF types (Myers-Briggs, 
anyone?  :)

I'm working on it...

>There is a lot of truth to bother of your comments on how we perceive 
>things. I have found that when I am really down in the dumps I am much
>more sensitive to how people react to me. In fact I was going through

Um...you guys are all going to hate this...but reputable studies have shown
(and yes, I can provide references on request, or you could just take my
word for it...I've been a psych major for uncounted ages...:) that depressed
people have much more accurate world views than non-depressed people.

Basically, yes, when I am down in the dumps I am more sensitive
to how people react to me...
...in large part because I perceive it more accurately, instead
of through the normal rose-colored stained glass sunglasses that
most people view the world through...

>"Did I adhere to normal standards of behavior and conversation when I
>talked to them?". If so, then if they took it wrong it is totally out

Excellent viewpoint, whether depressed or non-depressed.
The reason that I found the conversation with my friend upsetting
was that I had *NOT* stuck strictly to normal standards of behavior
and conversation (I rarely do), and wasn't *certain* how she'd
taken that (turns out she'd taken it fine, but in my depressed
state I was far too aware of the possibility that she wouldn't...)

>get highly sensitive to what we say or do. I have angonized for days over
>stuff I said or did while the other person had no recollection of it at all.

I hate that.  There are things that I used to kick myself over for years
afterward...
...only to find out that no one else remembered it, or would have cared 
if they did.

>In fact I still think of those times every once in while. I guess the whole

One comment on this...
1) there are still things which happened *SEVEN YEARS* ago, which will
make me cringe internally and blush with shame just to remember them.
(for example: I was part of a Bible Quiz competition once, and after
the competition (my team won) they asked me to do the closing prayer.
I thought they just wanted a closing prayer...
...they actually wanted a closing prayer *and* grace for lunch.
Everyone laughed at me.
I felt so small, it's not even funny.
And...I haven't been really able to pray for a group in public since then,
because it reminds me of that experience.
Nor have I told anyone about this since then.)
2) there is hope!  In fact, for me at least, there is a cure.
It's so simple, it's almost unbelievable how reliably and completely it works.

Tell someone.

Like I just did there.

It works *much* better in person than on the net...
...but then, it's much harder to do in person, too.

But if you have a horrible past mistake that you just can't bear to think
about, consider finding a dear and trusted friend, and just telling them
about it.  The incredible relief that follows makes almost any amount of
effort worthwhile to achieve it.

(I'd give an example of some really embarrassing thing I've dealt with
this way, but...quite honestly, I can't even remember them anymore...:)

Your mileage may vary...but I hope this helps you!

>point of these ramblings is that you are not alone and others of us have
>gone through the same things. Good luck and good recovery to you!

*grateful hug*  Thanks...:)
I appreciate that.

*hugs*,

Mickey "(skilfully curled)" Phoenix.