HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box)
Subject: flames
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Summary: fire and brimstone
Keywords: fun
Reply-To: buckets of fun
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 16:29:37 GMT

well, i have suddenly realized that i have recently written two flames
with what could be called raw language in them. oh no. i wonder if i will
go to hell for this. i wonder if i will lose my account for this. i wonder
if i should remove my head now and put it back in the jar where i found it
in the first place. i am writing this by order of my priest who, when i
confessed these graves sins to him, suggested i post an apology to the
net. i told him that would be stupid and then stabbed him several times
with a beautiful silver crucifix he had above his door. he bled on me
which not only was messy but also slightly incriminating so i wiped all
the blood on his cassock. it was black (the cassock) so you really
couldn't tell. i guess now that i have written this here though i have
pretty much admitted my guilt. fortunately i hid the body in a eally large
bottle of urea so i doubt there will be much inside that cassock when the
authorities show up. i am going to use the large bottle as a halloween
prop. i will leave the cassock in it and just tell people it is where i
dissolved a priest. i bet it will go over well, mainly because some people
will not be sure if i am joking. i don't if i'm joking. all i know is that
the phone at my bank is perpetually busy and i can't talk to them about my
loan so i wrote this drivel. yee haw. i think i will think for a while now.

--
	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
               "i am such a stupid,ignorant son of a bitch.
                           please kill me now."
               me, last month when i had a cc.utah.edu acct.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Re: Thunderstorm's a-comin'
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 92 21:18:55 EDT
Organization: onetwothreefour

In article <1bi89hINNo6@terminator.rs.itd.umich.edu> ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano) writes:
>
>The thunderstorm's a-comin'
>
>we've gotta bring in the hick'ry nuts
>
>and bolt the finches down.

It's true.

SPECIAL WEATHER STATEMENT
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DETROIT MI
846 PM EDT WED OCT 14 1992

 ..THUNDERSTORMS CONTINUE TO MOVE ACROSS SOUTHEAST LOWER MICHIGAN...

AT 840 PM...RADAR INDICATED AN LARGE AREA OF SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS
OVER SOUTHEAST LOWER MICHIGAN. THE THUNDERSTORMS ACTIVITY EXTENDED SOUTH
FROM THE CITY OF DETROIT THROUGH LIVONIA TO BRIGHTON. THE STRONGEST STORM
WAS OVER OTTAWA LAKE IN MONROE COUNTY...53 MILES SOUTHWEST OF DOWNTOWN DETROIT.
HEAVY RAIN...DANGEROUS LIGHTNING...AND SMALL HAIL HAD BEEN REPORTED WITH
THESE STORMS AS THEY MOVED TO THE EAST AT 45 MILES AN HOUR.

THESE THUNDERSTORMS WILL MOVE EAST INTO CANADA AND WEST LAKE ERIE BY 900 PM...
WHILE AT THE SAME TIME THUNDERSTORMS WILL RE-ENTER WASHTENAW AND LENAWEE
COUNTIES.

WHEN THUNDERSTORMS ARE OCCURRING...PEOPLE SHOULD MOVE INSIDE A
STRONG BUILDING. DO NOT STAND NEAR WINDOWS. DO NOT USE TELEPHONES
OR ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES UNTIL THE STORM HAS PASSED. MOTORISTS
SHOULD AVOID LOW WATER CROSSINGS.

STAY TUNED TO THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE WEATHER RADIO FOR
FURTHER UPDATES.

And I've got to bicycle home.  Maybe if I get struck by lightning
it'll cure my cold.

ljd
fuck my luck
From: gmr6139@ultb.isc.rit.edu (G.M. Richard)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: My Own Short Comfession
Date: 12 Oct 92 16:27:18 GMT
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Originator: gmr6139@ultb

I must admit my own shortcomings:  I listen to music like Ministry, Nine
Inch Nails, Front 242, Bach, and Mozart.  I terebly despize country and
rap, almost to the point of personal injury.

And, just to conform, my second confession is I often feel an undeniably
strong desitre to conform to a society which demands non-conformity as a
popular trend.


-- 
  _  _                __                         gmr6139@ultb.isc.rit.edu
 /| /|  __  _/__/_   /__) ' __  /_  __ ,_  __/  gmr6139@george.cs.rit.edu
/ |/ |_/-/__/__/____/ \__/_/___/ /_/-/_/__/_/  gmr6139@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
____________________________________________  gmr6139@ritlav.isc.rit.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: Sanity
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 19:59:54 GMT

In article <5500@balrog.ctron.com> mattb@olympus.ctron.com (Matt Brown) writes:

>
>I thought of all kinds of nasty things to reply, but you are really such a
>decent guy that I didn't have the heart to say anything nasty. 
>
>*Hugs*
>
>Matt
>too much a.r.c will do that to you. Now that I think about it, this is 
>probably about the cruelest thing to do to somebody in t.b. Sorry, Rob,
>I won't do it again.
>Darn! I can't stop. This is getting scary. Somebody help me!
>(bad mistake made while under the influence of a.r.c)


BARTENDER!

*Hugs* all around!

On me! :-) tee hee

a.r.c is somewhat like a viral brain cancer.
From: dolan@XENON.BERKELEY.EDU (Kent Paul Dolan)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: inelastic demand for drugs
Date: 15 Oct 92 19:20:27 GMT

CJ sez:

> Kent, you ignoramous, why don't you go look up "elastic
> demand" and "inelastic demand".  Hint: demand for some
> drugs is inelastic, and hence price insensitive. Come
> back when you've actually done some reading about the
> concepts.  You'll look like less of a fool.

Sigh. Notice that nice little weasel word "some"? As I recently posted,
a study one can trust -- no self reporting, no self selection of study
participants -- shows that the demand for cocaine, explicitly, is quite
dollar price sensitive, even when the larger social costs to military drug
users are are prohibitive beyond the drug effects.

What does that say about the likely effect, in the USA, of making
cocaine cheaper by legalizing street drugs?

CJ, I got my "A" in Economics 101, out of Paul Samuelson's text,
roughly the time you cut your first molar.

Next fool?

Kent, the man from xanth.
"The Birthright of humankind is the stars!"
--
Ignore the header, and don't expect me to see a news reply.  We don't get news.
Use email to: <dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil> or <dolan@192.138.87.240>
From: richh@netcom.com (richh)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep is One Who Walks Away From Omelets
Date: 15 Oct 92 16:19:12 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)


...because Ursula K. won't bring the eggs to room temperature first.


RICHH
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box)
Subject: .jpg files
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 03:52:28 GMT

i got the .jpg image file just posted. i am not sure how to view it
though. i can view .gif files using a program i have for our mac but it
will not read .jpg files. oh well. any input out there?  ciao etc
--
	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
               "i am such a stupid,ignorant son of a bitch.
                           please kill me now."
               me, last month when i had a cc.utah.edu acct.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: k206027@smog.DKRZ-Hamburg.DE (ce)
Subject: Re: KAIWA REVISITED
Keywords: hajimemashite
Organization: Deutsches Klimarechenzentrum GmbH, Hamburg
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 92 08:29:14 GMT

In article <gerald.719177521@gerald> gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com writes:
>   A:	Sumimasen. Ginkoo wa doko desu ka?
>   B:	Soko desu. Sono tatemono desu.
>   A:	Are wa nan desu ka?
>   B:	Are wa daigaku no toshokan desu.
>   A:	Are mo toshokan desu ka?
>   B:	Iie, ano tatemono wa byooin desu.
>   A:	Doomo arigatoo gozaimashita.
>   B:	Iie, doo itashimashite.
>
Watashi no tennisu ga joozu ja arimasen.

-Bakayaroo Banzai
From: rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: GEST Expert System Tool Available to Academic Institutions
Keywords: artificial intelligence
Date: 14 Oct 92 19:08:09 GMT
Organization: Soviet Socialist Society, Incorp.

IN COMP.AI jg10@prism.gatech.EDU (GILMORE,JOHN F) writes:
)
)     Georgia Tech's Generic Expert System Tool (GEST) is now available to
)academic institutions for classroom use.  GEST is a blackboard system
)internationally licensed by Georgia Tech for expert system applications.

CARASSO Tech's SLATE (Stupid Lame Artificial Tool EEEEEY!) is now available
to academic institutions from kindergarden and up.  SLATE is a blackboard
material internationally used throughout the world for learning.

)     GEST incorporates a number of knowledge representation techniques
				    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
...RAM *AND* DISK DRIVES!

)and inference engine gearing mechanisms to provide users a repertoire of  
)knowledge structures to draw upon in developing application systems.
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

...STRUCT *AND* UNION KNOWLEDGE STRUCTURES!

)A tutorial demonstration expert system is included with the GEST
)software and is included as a chapter in the documentation.

-- 

IVAN IQTOVITCH,		"WORKERS UNITE  OVER IMPERIALIST PIG"
COMMUNIST PARTY,		--IVATOLI STEPHANIVIC,
MUSMAK DEVISION			  BRAVE MARTAR
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mneeley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Neeley)
Subject: just curious
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 22:44:25 GMT

Anyone besides me give the MST3K treatment to the last two
parts of the Star Wars trilogy shown on HBO Monday?

	Mark
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 20:42:07 EDT
From: <JMC159@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Six
 <1992Oct11.183406.8109@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
 <1bci3lINNqcq@terminator.rs.itd.umich.edu>

Are you thinking about Blossom's Friend on that tremendous television program,
"Blossom"?
 Jill
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Blood Clot Boy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: oh, gross
Date: 13 Oct 1992 08:16:37 GMT
Organization: The International House of Secretions
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4

In article <1bcloqINNeu3@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
*I just got the pop-tab on my Coke can stuck
*in my left nostril.

Kent!  She's snorting coke!  Sic her!


Mark "This is your brain on pop-tabs" Lippert
From: chrisl@sancho.sybase.com (Xian the Drive)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: TOP 5 THINGS I ATE ON YOM KIPPUR
Date: 13 Oct 92 17:19:10 GMT

In article <1992Oct9.004400.16434@netcom.com>, rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST) writes:
|> IN TALK.BIZARRE rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST) writes:
|> )
|> )TOP 5 THINGS I ATE OR DRANK ON YOM KIPPUR
|> )-----------------------------------------
|> )5. Bitten fingernails
|> )4. Condensated water in the air
|> )3. Stray dust particles
|> )2. Mucous from the back of my throat
|> )1. N.A.
|> 
|> 
|> I forgot to mention that this was my obligatory jewish joke so that
|> fucking politically-correct oldbies don't go into menopause early.
|> 


No, Roger.

If that were true, number one would have been:

|> )1. CHRISTIAN BABIES (I cheated)




+------------+
|    xian    |	``i wish you could see the huge bulge in my spandex shorts.''
| ----<--<@  |		                	- jonathan byrd
+------------+	
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: A Most Pressing COncern
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 13:48:44 GMT

In <1992Oct10.014520.29248@cs.cornell.edu> sussman@cs.cornell.edu (Stephen H. Sussman) writes:
>robart@agora.rain.com (Robert Barton) writes:
>>In article <BvtEHB.B9y@nic.umass.edu> csulaima@titan.ucc.umass.edu (CYNTHIA R SULAIMAN) writes:
>>>In article <1992Oct7.215715.12363@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
>>>>latarra@buhub.bradley.edu (Lisa Ehren) writes:
>>>>As has already been clearly Established,
>>>>If there is NO POTENTIAL FOR GESTATION
>>>>there can be NO SEX.
>>>So, there is no such thing as homosexual sex.
>>  That's correct.
>Hmmm ... you're on shaky ground here.  If a guy wears a well-made condom there
>is no possibilty of gestation either, yet most people would have no trouble 
>calling it sex ...

Hmmm ... you're on shaky ground here.  If someone posts a well-made joke
there is no possibilty of your understanding it, yet most people would have
no trouble calling it funny ...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Subject: Re: Frightening Halloween ideas wanted
Organization: house of finch horrors
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 07:00:43 GMT

In article <1992Oct6.172854.6162@news.ysu.edu> ag349@yfn.ysu.edu (David S. McMeans) writes:
>  I've been assigned to oversee a 'room' in a community haunted house
>this year, and I want to make it very frightening.  The problem is I have
>only one room.  I don't have the entire 'house' to work with.  So, I'm
>looking for good ideas.  I want to stay away from the typical monster-
>jump-out-at-you-and-all-the-females-scream type approach as this works
[...]
>  I should also mention that the 'theme' of my room is Hell, so the more
>hellish the better.  Note: the fire marshall won't allow open flames.
>of those areas), so I want my area to be exceptionally disturbing,
[...]

Alexander Cockburn and Andre Marrou having a panel discussion
moderated by Rush Limbaugh.  The amplification would be loud and the
reverb heavy.

AjD
From: mcsbc3ktp@dct.ac.uk (Kirk Potter)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Whats the point???????
Date: 12 Oct 92 15:05:11 GMT
Organization: Dundee Institute of Technology

Can anyone tell me why BIC byro pens have a little hole in the side of them??

#############################################################################
# Kirk P at D.I.T. (Dundee Institute of Technology, Dundee, Scotland, U.K.) #
#                                                                           #
# Janet    : mcsbc3ktp@uk.ac.dct                                            #
# Internet : mcsbc3ktp%dct.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk                         #
#                                                                           #
#############################################################################
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.non.sequitur
From: mneeley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Neeley)
Subject: gooley template (Re: Behold! the fish fly up your nostrils)
Followup-To: alt.non.sequitur
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 13:41:04 GMT

==========================================================================
                                                       teleprompter (TM)
to
in
                                                         phrases
                                                                 dentures
            me"
let's
                                                                  Bibb
                               elementary
                                                            one
                                                            included
                                                                sex
    computer
                                                while
butter
                                 aphorism
                         &
                                            Jefferson
                              of
                                       yet
     sheepgut
                                                 to
                                  in
                                     mummifying
                                                         apices. 
                a
                                  her
                                                             and
                                                           as
                                                            and
                                                            he
                                                               Turbot,
was
                                                          Snopes
                                                              married
       Zanucks.
                                 had
                                                         and
                                              such
                                     insurance
corpse, 
          enough, 
         be
                                                entertaining 
                                                             hot
For
                                a 
                                       into
                  would
     me.
=============================================================================

	Mark
From: larne@canetoad.UUCP (Larne Pekowsky)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep picks a scab
Distribution: world
Date: 13 Oct 92 21:46:17 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

"I want that one... yeah, the frisky one in the corner."

--
...uunet!canetoad!larne                          canetoad!larne@uunet.uu.net
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Subject: Imminent dearth of Usenet predicted (Re: jws & "new light")
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 18:19:04 GMT

In article <BvGtyA.3M3@news.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
>I can attest to this being absolutely true.  Ever since I got my girlfriend
>a replacement organ, she's been on edge all the time.  I think it's all the
>Bach fugues that causes it.

J.S. Bach had 15 kids.

And one hell of an organ, apparently.

				--Blair
				  "Insert corpus-callossum-size war here."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box)
Subject: yee haww!!!!
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Summary: satan has not beaten me yet 
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Keywords: a car
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 92 23:03:22 GMT


well, i have been waning to buy a car for about a month now. i have had
financing set up for about two weeks. i do not have a car now. it became
obvious to me that it is very hard to shop for a car if you don't have
one. this seems to fall under the category of "it takes money to make
money". in any event, life was somewhat simplified when my friend went out
of town and left me his car to use for this week. i scoured the want ads
daily for that '87 jetta gli i wanted to buy so much. i had seen it
earlier in the month but then the ad was dropped. had a copy of an old
papaer around so i called the people. i was pleasantly surprised to find
it was not sold. way cool. today i drove it and checked it out. nice. it's
5800 with new front tires, new brakes, and a new windshield. way super
cool. it drove nicely as well. monday i will bring it to a dealership and
have them check it for any screwed up type things. i hope it is cool and i
will have a car. ciao etc.


--
	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
               "i am such a stupid,ignorant son of a bitch.
                           please kill me now."
               me, last month when i had a cc.utah.edu acct.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST)
Subject: Re: RICHH MISSES HIS BIG CHANCE--BUT FINDS ANOTHER
Organization: Soviet Socialist Society, Incorp.
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 23:44:01 GMT

gypsy@alembic.acs.com (drunk in the snow with a gun) writes:
)
)roger: my real name is meredith laurel tanner..weigh 180 lbs..bad
)skin, and a prominent mole on my right outer labia...i myself am half
)polish...christians...i live at 2544 chain bridge road apt 201,
)vienna, VA, 22181...i make $15,780 a year...
)
)in my free time, i play guitar...sew my own clothes...i also enjoy
)cooking...my favorite actor is donna dixon...
)
)i have a loud voice and an unpleasant maryland accent, and 
)i talk too much...i dress like a male redneck motor-
)head most of the time...i do not shave my legs...
)i am alienated from most of my friends...
)
)...i have a high school equivalency certificate...my SAT scores were
)something like 460 math and 540 english...


Gypsy, forgive me.  I'm sorry for picking on you.  

I didn't know your life was so bad.  I didn't know you were a hopeless
loser.  I will never pick on you, your hairy armpits, your 180lbs,
your high paying job, you wonderful friends, your SAT scores, your
loud voice, your supportive parents, your male redneck motorhead style
of dress, or your labia.

)i recommend you masturbate to a printout, rather than directly
)on the screen of your terminal; you could use the printout to
)clean up afterwards.

Please.  Show some grace and accept that fact that you're a white
trash hick.  Don't take out your agression on the successful.


Warmest regards,

Charles Winchester III,
Society for Non-Racist Snobs
.

-- 

IVAN IQTOVITCH,		"WORKERS UNITE  OVER IMPERIALIST PIG"
COMMUNIST PARTY,		--IVATOLI STEPHANIVIC,
MUSMAK DEVISION			  BRAVE MARTAR
From: echeverr@scf.usc.edu (5150)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: birthday greeting
Date: 9 Oct 1992 21:07:10 -0700
Organization: <censored>
NNTP-Posting-Host: skat.usc.edu

In article <1992Oct8.154821.3472@msuinfo.cl.msu.edu> 17158ABR@MSU writes:
>We have a special request. Our friend and coworker, Kel, (he's a guy) is
>having a birthday Saturday, and we would like to surprise him.  Would you
>send a birthday greeting to him at:
>17158ku@msu.edu
>You can send it anytime beginning today.  Thanks for being sports!
>-Donna, Andrea, and Dan

% telnet msu.edu 25
220 msu.edu Sendmail 4.1/SMI-3.0DEV3-ucs+2.7 ready at Fri, 9 Oct 92 18:25:22 CDT
mail from: 17158ku@msu.edu
250 17158ku@msu.edu... Sender ok
rcpt to: root@msu.edu
250 root@msu.edu... Recipient ok
data
354 Enter mail, end with "." on a line by itself
you think you're so cool cuz you have power over us, but you're nothing but
a loser geek. now fuck off.
.
250 Mail accepted
quit
221 msu.edu delivering mail
Connection closed by foreign host.

5150
happy birthday to you
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: RICHH MISSES HIS BIG CHANCE--BUT FINDS ANOTHER
Date: 16 Oct 1992 15:23:38 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <schnitzi.719178215@eola.cs.ucf.edu> schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius) writes:
>For another alternate use of computing machinery, consider this:  the
>computer lab in our office used to have two concentric semicircles of
>CRTs, about fifteen in all, as well as two TVs mounted on the wall.
>This was handy because in the center of the room there was a focal
>point where we could actually make microwave popcorn.

Wavelength is too long for effective heating.  What you need is a
ground approach radar system....
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: billbill@wetware.com (Bill Bill)
Subject: it's okay to punch "Infinite Repeat"
Followup-To: misc.test
Organization: Castle Wetware
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 02:46:33 GMT

when you put the CD in the CD player, it's
okay to remember to turn on the amplifier.

if you look at the CD player when the killfile
is running and notice the numbers ticking, it's 
still okay to remember to turn on the amplifier.

if you look at the CD player when deciding whether
to save a particular post and you notice the numbers
ticking in silence, it's important to turn on the 
amplifier and do whatever the first four words tell
you to do.

bill                    bill         @          wetware.                    com
           it                  is        still                  ok
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre