From: jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: B&B:  Update for Tuesday's games
Date: 30 Sep 92 22:05:24 GMT
Organization: Computer Science, Indiana University
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	My newslink is down, so I'm doing this the old-fashioned way.


     Tuesday on "The Bold and the Beautiful"

     MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL, IF YOU WERE REFLECTED,
I'D TAKE A FALL

     Coming home from the cocktail party, Ridge helps Taylor
unzip her dress, which she wriggles out of, revealing a
black satin number that got a buzz out of this observer's 
attention meter while she combed her hair in the mirror.
Ooh la la!
They discuss who Taylor talked to (all the men) and who
Ridge fought off (all the women).  Taylor asks if he thinks
he deserves a medal, he says he does, she asks where she
should pin it (were I writing this, I would have said "Where
should I hang it?", but that's just sweet little ol' me).
Ridge suggests a location, tosses Taylor onto the sheets, and
they do what comes naturally.

     THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RUSH THINGS

     Brooke is in the lab again, post-party.  Bad news from
the boys downstairs;  the fabric is leaching, the colors are
running, and the Rebs are heading back to Atlanta, Miss
Scarlett!  This is a problem.  Brooke calls Ridge.
     Ridge is exhausted after Taylor showed him a few new
twists, but after a few finger-sketches on his broad back,
he's up for more!  But Brooke practices telephonus
interruptus, and Ridge exits the bed prontus, leaving Taylor
unfulfilled and blaming Brooke's timing.
     In the lab, Brooke explains the problem.  They didn't
heat the fabric long enough (48 hours), and so the formula
didn't take.  Whaddawedo, whaddawedo?  Ridge asks.  I've
already taken steps, Brooke says, if we treat smaller
quantities we can get it done.  Batch 1 is in the oven and
I've ordered another dryer.  So what can I do?  Go back to
your wife, we'll make it by the morning.  I doubt she'll let
me make it anymore tonight, but thanks, Brooke.  You know,
Ridge says, you don't bring me flowers anymore.  It's all
just business with you.  Yet you're working hard, your eight
months preggers (conveniently timing the birth for SWEEPS
MONTH everbuddy), and you're more attractive than ever.
Ridge bustles off for home.  Once alone, Brooke is glowingly
triumphant.  The more I put you off, Ridgey, the more you
WANT it from me.  It's working, Igor, it's working!

     WHERE ARE WE GOING?  WHY ARE WE HERE?  WHERE DID WE
COME FROM?  MORE WINE?

     Jack and Stephanie discuss the state of their
relationship.  Riveting.  Jack is on the verge of coming
clean on his recent gambling activities and his family's
past, but doesn't open up.  Stephanie perceives that his
reluctance and distance might have something to do with
Taylor.  Stephanie also asked him if he was unfaithful to
her or unfaithful to his ex-wife, and Jack vehemently denies
it.  But he admits he hurt his family.  Not much to grab on
to here, folks.

     SHEILA AND LAUREN DO THE OLYMPICS

     Lauren once again threatens to phone home, I mean the
police, but Sheila disconnects the phone.  She's still cool,
pleading her case with Lauren, but Funnomore is far beyond the
forgiveness stage.  I'll go down and get security and bring
them up here to get you!  Lauren threatens.  There is
substantial arguing, insult-throwing, threats of prison, the
FBI, and bringing Paul and Scott in on the case (No!
anything but that, this is a relatively fast-paced soap!)
and then EVENT 1:  wrestling.  After an ineffectual arm-
lock, Lauren scores a takedown on Sheila (into a chair) and
goes for the door.  EVENT 2:  Fencing.  Sheila parries
Lauren's attack, telling her that it's very unlikely hotel
security or the police are going to believe she's being
menaced by a ghost or resurrectee in room 907. 
Room 906, maybe, but not room 907. 
Lauren backs off, thinking.  Big mistake.
EVENT 3:  Javelin.  The barbs are flying seriously now, and
Sheila has lost all pretense of nicety, her voice edgy and
dangerous.  EVENT 4:  Shot put.  Lauren wisely realizes you
have to work up to this event, and starts with a vase.
EVENT 5:  Lying to the press;  as in "No, I've never taken
steroids."  "Then why do you have a beard, Miss
Monongahela?"  Won't work, Lauren, because I've got a gun in
my purse!  Lauren believes it, competing in EVENT 6:  The
two-meter dash.  Dashing to the purse, she finds that Sheila
won Event 5, because there is no gun!  Too late, though,
Sheila is already competing in EVENT 7: The hammer.  The
hammer comes down on Lauren's head (the vase), which Lauren
tossed to Sheila in practice for the relay.  Doesn't look
like Lauren will be in the relay, as Sheila also wins a
gold-medal in EVENT 8:  Boxing, by scoring a knockout.
Sheila briefly contemplates entering Lauren in EVENT 9:
Platform diving onto asphalt.  However, she realizes that if
Lauren misses a dive, it might disqualify Sheila from EVENT
10: The rhythmic gymnastics all-around with Eric.  Quickly,
Sheila enters EVENT 11:  Calf-roping (this is the Calgary
Olympics), tying up Lauren with the phone cord.  Sheila
rushes off for the awards ceremony.

     O.K., now that the update is done, I believe that the
writers are putting themselves into a corner.  I can't see
how Sheila can be awarded for this despicable behavior, so
if Lauren gets a chance to spill the beans, where do they go
with Sheila if not "up the river"?  Looks like Sheila should
practicing rowing or canoeing without a paddle.

     Jim "this is actually getting fun" Acker
     jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov

I am, however, suffering from Macy/Rhonda withdrawal.
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps