From: cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz (Phil Ross)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Keywords: Religous Jokes.
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 16:05:57 +1200
Distribution: World
Organization: The Hovel Bulletin Board System


marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
>a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
>willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
>but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.

Mario, you're obviously a big authority on deciding what should be posted
and what shouldn't, so read these, make your decision, and shove it up
your ass... Enjoy.

Jesus and two of his disciples are out fishing in a boat.  Jesus says, "Oh,
I forgot my fishing pole.  I'll be right back."  As Jesus goes to step off
the boat the disciples start becoming excited because they are going to see
their Lord walk on water, so you can imagine their surprise when Jesus steps 
off the boat and starts to sink!
The disciples quickly grab him from the water and ask, "Lord!  What happened?"
to which Jesus replied..."Damn.  I should have known better.  The last time
I tried that I didn't have these holes in my feet..."
********************************************************************************
Jesus, the Pope and a priest were out fishing in a boat one day. Everything
was pretty calm. Suddenly, Jesus turned to his fishing mates and said,"I'll
be back. I forgot my net. " So, he gets out of the boat-walks across the 
water-gets his net from the shore-walks across the water-and gets back in
the boat.
Now as you could probably understand this shocked the heck out of the
priest. The Pope continued as though nothing had happened, and so did Jesus.
"Wow" The priest thought. Well, they just continued fishing.
An hour later, The pope says"I forgot my extra rod." So he gets out
walks across the water-gets his rod-walks across the water-and gets back in
the boat.
By now, the priest thinks he is going crazy. But, Jesus and the Pope
continue as though nothing special had happened. 
The priest began thinking, "This must be a test or something. I
must do as they have or be shamed." So he spent a few minutes trying to think
of an excuse. "Ummm.....I forgot my....Hat. My hat yeah. I'll be back."
Jesus and the pope looked at him. The priest stepped out of the boat and
fell in the water.
Jesus turned to the pope and said, "How come you didn't tell him
where the stones were?"
********************************************************************************
Jesus is up on the cross when he spies Judas at the back.
"Judas," he shouts, "come here."
"But Lord," Judas shouts back, "I have dropped you in the shit, I am
ot worthy even to speak your name."
Jesus shook his head. "Come here, Judas."
Judas, astonished, made his way to the front of the crowd and stood
before Jesus.
"What can I do for you, Lord?" he asked.
"Take these nails from my feet, Judas." replied Jesus
"But Lord, I am not worthy to touch your feet." Judas whimpered.
"Take these nails from my feet."
So Judas got to work and pulled out the nails. As he stood back,
watching the blood running from the holes, Jesus kicked him viciously in the
face.
"Take that, you grassin' bastard."
********************************************************************************
Jesus was walking through town one day when he noticed a crowd on a corner.
Pushing his way through, he saw that they were about to stone a girl for
prostitution.  Climbing up in front of the crowd, he bade them to stop, saying
"Let the person who has never sinned cast the first stone."
A rock came flying up from the back of the crowd, grazing Jesus' temple.
After looking to see who threw the rock, he shook his head and muttered,
"You know mom, sometimes you really piss me off..."


--
cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz    X Phil Ross
cybapunk@tornado.welly.gen.nz  X Sysop of The Hovel BBS
cybapunk@sideways.welly.gen.nz X Author of Lords And Ladies, _THE_ BBS door!
     ... If at first you don't succeed, redefine success ...