From: jswitzer@afit.af.mil (Chip Switzer)
Subject: Far left's new "bill of lefts"
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 18:16:59 GMT

What fun!  I'm always up to a good misrepresentation battle...  Here is
my own entry into the fray:


                              Ammendment 1
Congress shall make laws restricting the natural expressions of religious
freedom to the churches and homes only.  It shall under no circumstances be
displayed in public where people actually live.  The freedom of speech will
hereby be granted only to those who put forth reasonable ideas.  Assemblies
will be tolerated, however unreasonable speakers will be shouted down
and made to leave.  

                              Ammendment 2
A well regulated militia being completely antagonistic to the cause of
peace both in this country and in the world will not be tolerated.  Arms
are hereby banned and only those that are smuggled in and sold on the 
black market will be sanctioned.

                              Ammendment 3
No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered.  If by some fluke of
social engineering, war happens to errupt, soldiers will volunteer quickly,
defense industries will spring up from nowhere and we will defend
ourselves after a brief training period.

                              Ammendment 4
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers,
and effects will be subjugated to the rights of the accused criminal.  All
evidence gathered in support of the prosocution of said criminal is
a violation of his rights and will be thrown out.  

                              Ammendment 5
No person shall be required to testify in a court of law.  All evidence
will be collected from news reports and activists campaigning for a guilty 
verdict.

                              Ammendment 6
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall ejoy the right to a speedy
and public trial.  His jury will consist of opinion polls and news 
analysts and if for some reason the unnecessary jury does not concur, 
the people will have the right to burn and loot their cities and receive 
prompt restitution from the federal government for any damage to their
property, and an immediate job.

                              Ammendment 7
Jury trials, being unnecessary in light of the availability of sophisticated
recording equipment, will be conducted only to let the accused believe he has
a chance at a fair trial.

                              Ammendment 8
Bail shall not be tolerated.  No accused criminal's rights will be violated
by putting him in jail until such time as a guilty verdict is returned by 
a jury.  If and when a criminal is put in jail, he will be afforded the best
accomodations money can buy and be given furloughs to visit the community 
whenever he desires them.

                              Ammendment 9
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall never be
considered addequate and will be reinterpreted for each generation based
on the political ideology of the day.

                              Ammendment 10
The powers not delegated to the United States by the constitution, shall
not be given to any State.  All powers that have been in the past weilded
by the States shall henceforth be given up in order to make the federal
government as large as possible.

-- 

Chip Switzer                            "A witty saying proves nothing." 
jswitzer@afit.af.mil                              -- Voltaire