From: rfedkiw@crenshaw.math.ucla.edu (Ronald Fedkiw)
Subject: Bills Suck!
Organization: UCLA Mathematics Department
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 93 21:45:48 GMT

I've heard a lot of whining about the Bills winning this one.
No Way.
Kelly sucks... he spends more time looking over his shoulder at Reich's
clipboard, than he spends looking at the Defensive Backs coverages.
Bruce Smith sucks... all he's interested in is looking good. If he gets
1 sack, he won't even try the rest of the game. He'll get his big $$.
Thomas sucks... he'll be two busy worring about Emmitt vs. Thurman to
remember the plays. 'Hey where is my playbook? Must've left in in my helmet!'
Andre Reed... is just looking to get traded.
Loften... is looking for his wheelchair.
Beebee.... is looking at Reich's clipboard.
(None of the recievers are looking for the ball.)
Bennet, Conlan, and Talley... are argueing whose the most over(and under)
rated of the three.
Tasker.... has been nominated to so many all-etc teams that he couldn't
care less about the Super Bowl.
Jones..... is looking for an INT so bad, he'll probably get burned for at
least two touchdowns.

This team sucks. They just want personal glory. None really care about the
win as long as the STATS and CASH are in their hands.`

Dallas on the other hand is the BEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF FOOTBALL.
Obviously true since they beat S.F. in S.F. in a DO OR DIE situation.
No other team has done that to S.F. this year. (The Bills LUCKY, SQUEAKY,
win doesn't count, it should be stripped. It wasn't do or die.)

My team ratings are:
(1) Dallas
(2) S.F.
(3) Philly
(4) Washington
(5) N.O.
(6) Minnesota
... note the incredible superiority of the NFC. Especially the East.
(7) Miami
(8) Houston
(9) San Diego
(10) Pittsburg
... note that Buffalo isn't even in the top ten.

Let's keep our finger's crossed as usual and say...

Prediction: Dallas 100
            (21 from Kelly's 4 INT's,
             21 from Emmitt G. Smith... the G. stands for god,
             21 form Aichman throwing bombs to burn Jones,
             7 on the play where Bruce Smith cracks three more ribs,
             21 on Thomas's fumbles caused from a superior NFC East Defence,
             7 more on a K.Davis fumble, after Thomas breaks his legs,
             2 when Buffalo's NEWEST trick play is ran... they snap directly
               to Thomas who hands off to Beebe on a reverse, Beebe runs ten
               yards down field then laterals back to Kelly who throws a
               hail mary to the eligible Tackle, the Tackle laterals to
               to Loften who fumbles on purpose to act as a decoy,
               it's picked up by Bruce Smith who was playing Center and no one
               noticed, Bruce back tracks to his own 1 yard line, then laterals
               to Kelly in the end zone, Kelly throws a 99 yard bomb to Kelso
               who was playing wide out and no one noticed, and Kelso runs
               99 yards in the wrong direction to score a Dallas safety.
               Two many concusions have Kelso dizzy and mixed up. He gets them
               in the parking lot after practice. It seems someone named
               Reich keeps hitting Kelso over the head with a baseball bat,
               mistaking Kel-so for Kel-ly.)

            Buffalo 6
            (3 of of Smiths only sack, 3 off of Jones only INT)


--
Ron Fedkiw (rfedkiw@joshua.math.ucla.edu)

The meek shall inherit the Earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.