From: lisas@pucc.princeton.edu (Lisa S. Lewis)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Sleep Question (Please no Ferber)
Date: 7 Jan 93 17:46:39 GMT
     <29316@optima.cs.arizona.edu> <4570312@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com>
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In article <29316@optima.cs.arizona.edu> Beth Weiss,
bweiss@cs.arizona.edu writes:
>> dmac@julia.math.ucla.edu (saki) writes:
>
>>I personally made the choice that progressively teaching
>>the child to sleep on its own by letting it cry was not for me. Nor for
>>my son, who is now 13 months.
>
>If I recall your original post, your child didn't sleep through the
>night until he was 10 months old, long past the point where he needed
>night nutrition, even if he was hungry.
>
>Diane Lin asked if you'd read Ferber's book.  I bought it last week,
>read it, and implemented the procedure (although we couldn't handle
>the 5/10/15/15 minute intervals, and went more like 3/5/5/10/10 and
>then didn't need another one)


I have read Ferber, have used Ferber, SWEAR by Ferber (just so you know
up front where I'm coming from :) )  I had to "Ferberize" my older child
three times, when infections or whatever disturbed his sleep pattern.
With my younger son we've been very lucky (so far.)  I never had to nurse
or rock him to sleep. He seemed to prefer going into his bed awake, and
he settles himself very well.  He's 13 months old.

If someone can't stand using Ferber's technique, that's their business,
though as Beth Weiss points out the intervals can be as short as you want
them. 

But there is another consideration here.  If you don't mind getting up
once or twice or TEN times a night, great.  I always felt (after my son
was about seven months old) that I simply could not go to work all day,
and then take care of him in the evening, if I didn't get at least seven
hours of undisturbed sleep.   I used this technique because I HAD to get
more sleep!  What always surprises me are the posters to this list who
are dying to get a night's rest, but can't bear two minutes of screaming
for a couple of nights.  No pain no gain!  I  realized that the original
poster is looking for a painless way to get their child to sleep through
the night.  To my knowledge, it doesn't exist.  And that's why these
postings are *always* followed by a flood of Ferber articles.  But Ferber
is the kindest method I've ever read.  

I used 5/10/15 minute intervals.  With our son, this NEVER took more than
three nights.  For me, it was well worth the extra rest.  As I said, if
you can cope with the exhaustion than fine.  But if you can cope with it,
you wouldn't be posting to misc.kids to begin with, right?

I guess my point is that if you can deal with getting up with your baby,
then the heck with Ferber (or Leach or anyone else.)  But if you have a
child who doesn't NEED to nurse at night, and you do need to get some
rest, you'll be amazed at how quickly your child will learn to put
himself to sleep on his own.  And this *isn't* cruel.  Babies who get
uninterrupted rest are happier babies, in my opinion.  Or at least, mine
was.  And what's tolerable (say once a night) at a year might seem less
acceptable as time goes on.  A woman I know swore this method was cruel,
and her son didn't stop waking up in the middle of the night until he was
almost four.		

Lisa Lewis

P.S. This caused a terrible argument with my husband, the first night we
did it.  Our son had been sleeping through the night for months and then
boom...he woke up one night and he was into a new pattern.  My husband (a
softie) said he didn't want to let Sam cry.  I told him, ok, then YOU
deal with him and I'll stay in bed.  He decided maybe it wasn't such a
bad idea after all. And when it only took three nights he was a firm
believer.

I also believe that it is true, as Ferber states, that the longer you let
the pattern go on, the longer it will take to "cure".  A six month old
learns to sleep by himself in a couple of days...at a year it would
probably take a little longer.
From: rwharton@hprnd.rose.hp.com (Robert Wharton)
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 05:01:20 GMT
Subject: Re: Home Diaper washing question
Organization: HP Roseville Networks Division