From: koohi@crchh46.BNR.CA (Shane Koohi)
Subject: Poor Programmer
Reply-To: koohi@crchh46.BNR.CA (Shane Koohi)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 15:04:25 GMT

Greetings,

For those of you Computer majors who will later work in the real
world, (some developing software), this piece of humor is very 
relevant. Believe me, you will have customers like this!!!!

(O.K. O.K.... this may not belong in soc.culture.iranian, but 
it's funny!!!)

Rooz Bekheir,

Shane 
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                   IF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE PROGRAMMERS...


Dear Mr. Architect:

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you
should use your discretion.

My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the
plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring
the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also,
bring me the cost breakdowns for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily
pick one at a later time.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I
am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the
deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates
when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in
them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs
as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features
like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify
aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used
in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most
up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be
designed to accommodate (among other things) my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

To assure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, you
will need to contact each of my children, and also our in-laws. My
mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be
designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh
all of thses options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however,
retain the right to overrule any decisions that you make.

Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the
overall plans for the house and get the big picture. At this time, for example,
it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpeting. However, keep
in mind that my wife likes blue.

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the
house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and
specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house
to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that
sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should
have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you
finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the potential homebuyers in my
area that they like the features this house has.

I advise you to run up and look at the house my neighbor build last year, as we
like it a great deal. It has many things that we feel we also need in our new
home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I
believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the
construction cost.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time
to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be
advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of
construction costs as a result of later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be
able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in
your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as
possible with your ideas and completed plans.


PS:  My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
     instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your
     responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past
     and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this
     responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please
     advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.


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