HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: misc.kids

I have a daycare problem I need help with. I like our provider alot and she
is perfect in other ways it is just that she is not very positive. She is
constantly saying NO and I have never heard her say a positive thing to the
kids. My son is the only fulltime child. She has her own 9mo old and just
3yr old. The 3yr old whines alot and she complains that he never listens.
She says things like "you need to quiet down please" or "No running", No
climbing on furniture, please" etc. 

Receintly she told me that she tells my son NO (he is 10 months) when he bangs
on things such as the highchair or table. I told her that I only say no when
he is about to hurt himself or others or destroy property. I minimize these
by babyproofing so really the only no I use is when he hits me or tears my
books . I told her

that I thought that he is old enough to start to be able to tell the difference
between banging on the highchair and banging on people. I also said if he
doesn't comply with the "no banging please" what can she do to remove him
from the situation, she would have to stop feeding him to remove him from the
highchair. She said this hasn't been a problem because he stops banging.

She said that she doesn't go around saying no to my son all day, just with the
banging. By the way he is not banging alot or very loudly. At home I give him
a pot and a wooden spoon and he bangs away.

So my questions are: how do I go about helping her to be more positive as in
"good walking" vs "NO running". I want to be able to do this without hurting
her feelings and sounding like I am coming down on her. She really is trying
very hard and it's a tough job as we all know.

Also is it bad to have different rules at daycare and at home?

She doesn't use and physical force to get the daycare kids to comply other than
removing the baby's from the situation. She does spank her own 3 yr old 
though when she has tryed reasoning with him to no avail.
From: twriter1@pencom.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Giving birth under water
Date: 1 Oct 92 21:36:00 GMT
Reply-To: twriter1@pencom.com
Organization: Pencom Software

I am interested in delivering my babies under water (when it's 
time to have them).  I forget the name of the method.  
Does anyone have any info?  Pros and cons? Anyone out there
ever done it?

Thanks ahead of time.

-----
Tanya Herlick
From: kgatling@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Keith E Gatling)
Subject: Re: No Santa Claus ???
Organization: Manlius Pebble Hill School
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 92 10:45:06 EDT

In article <1992Sep24.200911.17379@porthos.cc.bellcore.com> jackie8@dasher.uucp
(Jackie Brady) writes:

   > Do you ever feel that your kids might feel like they missed out
   > on something when they find other kids excited about Santa.  I
   > just never really knew anyone (who wasn't a Jehovah's Witness or
   > Jewish) who didn't use Santa as a part of Christmas, so I really
   > don't have anyone to ask.  I would be afraid that one day my
   > kids would be so disappointed to not have what the other kids
   > have.  I truly don't want to get into the "Christmas is all
   > commercialism anymore" type of discussions.  I know everyone has
   > their own opinion on that subject.   I'm just interested in this
   > from a kid's point of view.

Well I remember learning all the stuff about how there were so many Santas
around because they were most likely Santa's helpers while the real one was
still up at the North Pole getting everything ready, and how this explained
the fact that the Santa at Muir's knew who I was while the one at Sears
didn't know me from Adam.

I also remember, though, telling my parents I wanted one particular thing
for Christmas, that they told me I wasn't getting, and then deciding to ask
Santa for it, figuring that of course *he'd* get it for me, and then being
extremely disappointed on Christmas Day when he let me down.  I also
remember wondering why it was that poor kids didn't seem to get as good
presents from Santa as we did.

Did it bother me when I figured out that there was no Santa?  Not at all, as
long as I still got the presents, I didn't really care.  I tend to suspect
that the kids who get upset when they find out he isn't real are worried
that the gifts will stop too.

We never had this problem ourselves, but I can understand some people being
concerned that once the kid finds out that Santa was make believe, and then
makes the logical connection with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, they
will then assume the same applies to God (please, no flames from people who
aren't religious...this concern only applies to those of us who *are*).

On the other hand, though...we *do* have a Blanket Fairy in our house.  This
is the person who covers up a person when they've fallen asleep on the couch
without a blanket.  We got this idea from "A Very Brady Christmas" where one
of the daughters says to her husband, "Did you think it was the Blanket
Fairy?"

But I seem to have strayed a bit, so I'll end here.
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Monday, 5 Oct 1992 11:23:21 MST
From: <ICKAD@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Names (don't do this to your kids)
Distribution: usa
 <1992Oct5.151424.23118@cbnewsm.cb.att.com>

Christine Dakes' OB/GYN's first name is "Concepcion".  The name of the OB/GYN
I had while I was pregnant with Jamie is John Holmes.  When people would ask,
and I would tell them, I'd get the strangest looks (sometimes also a little
giggling).  Later I was told that there *was* a more famous John Holmes once
upon a time--he was a porno star.

--Jamie's Mommy (Karen Davis)
From: dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Diane Segelhorst)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Cookies (was Re: Dr.Spock and the Milk Controversy
Date: 1 Oct 92 12:28:15 GMT
Reply-To: dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Diane Segelhorst)
Organization: Annapolis Detachment, CDNSWC

In misc.kids, bhjelle@carina.unm.edu writes:

<deleted stuff about milk controversy>
>2. The "no more milk and cookies" refrain should be addressed to
>the cookies (which have no redeeming nutritional value) more
			 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I take STRONG exception to this point. True, many cookies are just sugary
nothings, with nothing but empty calories.  However, some cookies are
a good and healthy as well as enjoyable snack.  I make oatmeal chocolate
chip cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies that have a fairly low (for
cookies) sugar content, lots of healthy oatmeal, etc.  And my son loves
them.  I see nothing wrong with cookies for a snack occasionally.  Since
they are not forbidden or restricted, my son sees them just as another
possibility.  He is just as likely to request cheese or grapes for his
snack, as he is to request cookies.  In fact, on the rare occasions
that he requests cookies for breakfast, I give them to him.  They are
certainly better than most kids cereals (which I won't have in the house.)

Diane Segelhorst
dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil
Mom to Brad, 2.2 years, and Carrie, 3.5 months
From: steveg@src.dec.com (Steve Glassman)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: How to get your child take medicine? (babies)
Date: 6 Oct 92 20:19:48 GMT
Article-I.D.: src.1992Oct6.201948.29465
Distribution: usa
Organization: DEC Systems Research Center

I didn't see this technique in your list so here it is.  It works with
liquid medicine for small babies. 

Blow in the babies face immediately after squirting the medicine in.

Babies have a swallow reflex when you blow in their face and so they
will swallow the medicine.

We learned this from our doctor's nurse and it works great.

Steve
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: cepek@vixvax.mgi.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: SUMMARY: Micaela/Mikaela/Mikayla
Date: 27 Sep 92 21:58:39 GMT
Organization: Management Graphics, Inc.

Thank you all for your responses to my query about naming our imminent
child (almost certainly a girl).  We had three spellings in mind for
"Mih-KAY-lah".  This is what people's preferences were:

       Micaela:   1.5               (I interpreted some statements
       Mikaela:   9.0                as 1/2 vote for one name
       Mikayla:  28.5                and 1/2 vote for another.)

A "write-in" name of Michaela got mentioned 7 times.  Other variations 
which were mentioned included the following:

      Michela         Mc...           Mikaila          Makayla
      Micheala        McKayla         Mikayela
                                      Mikhaila         Mekayla
      Mika                            Mikiala          Mekela

(5) men responded; (31) women responded; (3) I couldn't tell (sorry!)

People asked about a few things I neglected to mention in my original post:
	- Is my name (Michael) a factor here? -- no.
	- We have two boys, Joshua Todd (7) and Adam Michael (3.5).
	- We're trying to roughly follow a Hebrew naming style (for
	  "biblical" reasons, not genealogical).
	- Cepek (SEE-peck) is Czech (but, again, not an issue here).
	- Middle name preference for our new girl:  Marie.

It looks like we will go with Mikaela as a compromise -- I like
Mikayla best, Kia (KEY-yah, my wife) likes Micaela best.

It was way cool to get responses from all over the U.S.  Here are a few
of my favorite comments:  
   "Neat name!   -- [from] Betty  (definitely *not* a neat name ;) )"
   "Congratulations on avoiding Meghan and Jennifer."
   "Brave soul, asking us great unwashed masses for advice!"

I have a (neatly edited) compilation of all responses I got.  Send me 
email if you're interested in that.

Once again, thanks to all.

______________________________ Mike Cepek ______________________________
Newsgroups: misc.kids,alt.sex
From: cbs@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca (Chris Syed)
Subject: Re: Female "Circumcision"
Organization: UTCS Public Access
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 16:40:56 GMT

In article <1992Oct1.235614.21407@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mdicker@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mike Dickerson) writes:
>waseems@sco.COM (Waseem Siddiqi) writes:
>
>I agree with whoever said that such things should only be done with
>the informed consent of the person involved.  NEVER against their
>will.  Same applies to the male version.

   Just as a point of interest, in a recent statement, the College of
   Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario (our licensing body), went even
   further. They state:

     "A physician who is requested to perform this procedure
      [circumcision, excision, infibulation], must decline and
      also refuse to refer the matter to any other person.
      In the event that a physician learns of a person performing
      female circumcision, excision or infibulation, the matter
      should immediately be brought to the attention of the
      College."  -- College Notice Newsletter, 25; March 1992.

   This is in accord with World Health Organization feelings on the
   topic, from what I can gather. 
-- 
--- 
       "We cannot think without imagining."  -- Thomas Aquinas
            cbs@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca (Chris Brown-Syed)
From: arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk (Angus H Rodgers)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Rubbing backs to put children to sleep
Date: 30 Sep 92 18:23:41 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Dept, QMW, University of London

>In article <GeraldR.88.0@sunfish.ratsys.com> GeraldR@sunfish.ratsys.com (Gerald Ruderman) writes:
>>My 9 year old still likes having her back rubbed to help her go to sleep. I 
>>think this started in day care around the time she was 2 or 3.
>>
>>I don't remember ever wanting this. Do other children like it?  

My wife discovered that Emma (now 9 months, but this started months
ago) could be sent quickly back to sleep (if she had woken on being
laid down in the cot) by having her chest rubbed for a few seconds, 
which apparently fools her into thinking she is still being cuddled.
(She loves to fall asleep on top of a human pillow!)
--
Angus H. Rodgers  (PhD student), | arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk  
Dept. of Computer Science, Queen | [ +44 | 0 ] 71 975 5241   
Mary & Westfield College,  Mile  | This space has not been left blank,
End Rd., London E1 4NS, England  | intentionally or otherwise.
From: scott@Apple.COM (scott douglass)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: 6-mo-old refuses to nurse
Date: 1 Oct 92 04:54:52 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

>>In article <1625.9209211749@bonzo.xylogics.com> rollo@xylogics.com (Dena Rollo) writes:
>>
>>>[Isabel, who is 8 months old] sometimes gets
>>>through 24 hours on as little as 8 or 9 oz. of formula,
>>>which is about half of what she "should" be drinking...
>>

My second, Jeffrey, would never take a bottle, and by around six months
wouls only nurse twice a day.  He couldn't drink from a cup, so apart
from solids he couldn't have been getting much.  I mentioned theis
to the pediatrician, and she said, well his skin looks good, his hair
looks good, he's not dehydrated, he's not losing weight, so I guess
whatever he's getting is what he needs!  I think that's one of the great
things about breastfeeding -- you never know how much they're getting
so you never have to worry about them eating "the right amount".  Just
feed her whatever she wants and try not to worry about it.

		--  maggie
-- 
				--scott douglass
Any opinions above may be mine and are not necessarily those of Apple Computer.
domain: scott@apple.com  UUCP: {nsc, sun, voder, well, dual}!apple!scott
CSNet: scott@Apple.CSNet  AppleLink: Douglass1
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: barb@sq.com (Barbara Burrows)
Subject: Re: How to get daughter more career-minded?
Organization: SoftQuad Inc., Toronto, Canada
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 13:47:01 GMT

In article <1992Sep28.160918.12999@engage.pko.dec.com> pub@riscee.pko.dec.com (Publius) writes:
>We have a 4 years old daughter who is really bright.  Her preschool
>teacher, an elderly lady, told us that in her many decades of
>experience as a preschool teacher, she has only met two preschoolers
>this bright.  No need to say that we have great hope for her.
[Stuff Deleted]

>want to be a doctor.  I want to get married when I grow up."

[Stuff Deleted]  

>things.  I guess we have yet to get our message across.
>
>Any suggestion for us to turn the things around?  
>

Hurray for your little girl! It's great to be bright! 

Here comes my few cents worth again.  My suggestion is to lay off. 
You're turning something into an issue unnecessarily.  Your daughter is just
four....I'd make a big wager that she'll want to be a great number of different
things before she is an adult.....and even then she still may change her mind
and explore life and its possibilities to the fullest.....I'm 37 and I still 
don't know what I want to be when I grow up! ;-}  

My concern here.....for what it's worth.....is the amount of pressure you may
be placing on your daughter to achieve.  Yes, it's good to have high 
expectations and to help her achieve her potential (do any of us really achieve
our potential?)....BUT!....I've seen examples of kids who deliberately 
underachieve because of the fear of failure.....the fear of letting their 
parents down....the fear of having their success pointed out in front of 
the class....the fear of appearing stupid when everyone "knows" you're 
smart.....is too great....and so, they back off. 

Relax.  Let her find her way!  
					
					|
Barbara					| Oh the thinks that you can think! 
					|
From: seanna@bnr.ca (Seanna Watson)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: No Santa Claus ???
Date: 28 Sep 92 18:17:34 GMT
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ottawa, Canada

In article <1686D6E25.CREECH@LSTC2VM.stortek.com> CREECH@LSTC2VM.stortek.com (Teresa Creech) writes:
> 
>I do understand that some people don't have Santa and that is fine with me.
>I just hope that your children understand that some kids (under age 7) do
>believe and that their fun shouldn't be ruined.  The first grade teacher said
>that there is always some kid going around announcing that there isn't a
>Santa, just to make the other kids unhappy.  That's mean.
> 

My family does not "have" Santa--ie my kids (now almost 6 & 8) have
always been told that Santa Claus is a pretend person, like Cookie
Monster.  

The 'ruining of fun' risk is one of the main reasons why we do not
tell our kids that Santa is a real person--we want them to trust us
to tell them the truth.  We do tell them that other kids believe in
Santa Claus, and they should respect other people's beliefs even when
they are different.  But kids who have never believed in Santa Claus
may be less likely to debunk Santa maliciously than kids who have 
only recently found out the truth, and as a result are feeling resentful.
Also, though I am a Christian now, I was raised Jewish, and subjected
to much gloating by kids who told me that I could not get any presents
from Santa.  An understandable response of a child to such a taunt
would be to retort that Santa was not real anyway. (I can't remember
if I did this.  I suspect not; I was fairly shy, and I probably just
sulked (and/or skulked) away.)

Another reason that we do not do Santa, is that as Christians, we 
want to emphasize the Christian aspects of Christmas, and I think that
the quasi-religious nature of Santa belief conflicts with this.  Modern
Santa Claus is  very far away from St. Nicholas.  (No flames please:  
I am not suggesting that anyone who is not a "practicing" (as opposed 
to "cultural) Christian should celebrate the religious aspects
of Christmas; as a matter of fact, I would prefer that they did not
feel obligations to celebrate that which they do not believe.
Maybe we should go back to having secular celebrations of midwinter,
with Santa, and leave celebrations of the birth of Jesus Christ to 
the Christians.) 
-- 
Seanna Watson   Bell-Northern Research, 
(seanna@bnr.ca) Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Opinions, what opinions?  Oh *these* opinions. | It's hard to seize the
No, they're not BNR's, they're mine.           | day when you must first
I knew I'd left them somewhere.                | grapple with the morning.
From: pfieland@citron.sw.stratus.com (Peggy Fieland)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!
Keywords: kindergarten
Date: 30 Sep 92 20:09:03 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Software Engineering

In article <1ack2nINNrc2@gap.caltech.edu> hough@seismo.gps.caltech.edu (Susan Hough) writes:
>My 5-yr old started kindergarten this month--this would be his third week
>except that he missed the entire second week because of  a bad cold. 
>He seems to like different aspects of school well enough, and is an
>old hand at the business by virtue of 1 1/2 yrs in a preschool between
>the ages of 3 and almost-5.  The problem is that we are already hearing,
>"I don't want to go to school!".  A couple of mornings I have had
>to dress him myself, in the midst of protests.  Part of the trouble is having 
>to be in school by 8:00 am--he is the only one of my kids who is inclined
>to sleep at all late, although over the summer he was up by 7:15 most of
>the time.  There is an afternoon kindergarten but I don't want to switch
>him--his a.m. teacher is very good and if he still persisted in
>fighting school, it would fall to his babysitter to have to deal with it. 
>
>I try to encourage him by pointing out all the fun things that he gets
>to do at school.   I have also (finally) told him that we don't have a 
>choice in the matter--that he's required by law to be in school.
>I am concerned that he really does enjoy school but is also starting
>to enjoy this morning game.  Any ideas for motivating a behavior change
>before this is established as morning routine?
>
>Sue


Well, the first thing is to figure out WHY he's reluctant to go to 
kindergarten.  My 5-year old is currently suffering from "fear of
the bus stop".  There are about 15 children waiting at the bus stop,
among them our 8-year old, but all in all it's pretty intimidating
for a five year old. There are unfortunately a couple of the kids
who tease Chris if there isn't a parent waiting with him.  We've
spoken to the parents involved, but for now our solution is to
wait at the bus stop with him until the bus comes.

When our oldest, now 10, went to Kindergarten, he ended up having
trouble with the work -- he's left handed, with weak fine motor
skills.  The solution for him was to get him help on the fine motor
skills, as well as to reinforce that it was OK to write with his
left hand, even though his teacher had demonstrated writing with
her right hand (she was right handed), saying, "This is how you 
hold the pencil". Amazing how literal kids can be.

If your son is tired and enjoying the attention that dawdling brings
him,  how about getting him to bed a little earlier?  What would happen
if you didn't dress him?  Other posters have suggested sending preschoolers
to school in their PJ's.  Would this work?  And how does he feel about
going to school? Is he really trying to avoid it?  Maybe you could 
offer to play a game with him or read him a story if he gets dressed
quickly, so he'd have some kind of payback for getting dressed by
himself.

Anyway, good luck with this.
From: sjk@strl.labs.tek.com (Steven King)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: How to get daughter more career-minded?
Date: 30 Sep 92 16:56:42 GMT
Reply-To: sjk@strl.labs.tek.com (Steven King)
Followup-To: misc.kids
Organization: Software Technology Research Lab, Tektronix, Inc.

In article <1992Sep29.154948.4420@informix.com>, cathl@odin (Catherine Lyman) writes:

|> In article <1992Sep28.160918.12999@engage.pko.dec.com>  
|> pub@riscee.pko.dec.com (Publius) writes:
|> > We have a 4 years old daughter who is really bright.  Her preschool
|> > teacher, an elderly lady, told us that in her many decades of
|> > experience as a preschool teacher, she has only met two preschoolers
|> > this bright.  No need to say that we have great hope for her.
|> > Maybe, we think, she will become a great lawyer upholding the rights
|> > and the liberty for many; or at least, she can be a doctor relieving
|> > the pains and the sufferings of the sick.  
|> > 
|> etc.
|> 
|> I would relax if I were you. She is only 4....she has a lot of
|> growing up to do. Pushing such an issue will probably just cause
|> major rebellion in her teens. I've seen it happen in my family.

We have some married friends whose daughter did exactly this.  She was
the "perfect" daughter.  Career-minded and lady-like.  Achievement-
oriented and people-oriented.  Good grades, many activities, stayed
out of trouble, etc.  Her parents, with the best of intentions, really
pushed her.  They wanted her to attend the Naval Academy.  Thus, they
pushed hard on grades, extra-curricular activities (and not being a
cheerleader - which is what she wanted) and achievement, achievement,
achievement.

She also happened to be our baby-sitter at the time.  We had many long
talks when I drove her home.  She was feeling a great deal of pressure
at home, and her parents constantly pushed her to maintain their image
of the ideal daughter.  She had no adults to talk to, and I certainly
didn't know what to do!  So I listened.

About two years later, when she was in Sr. High, she was diagnosed with
Anorexia.  The reason she "had" anorexia was to rebel against her parents.
It was her silent way to control her destiny.  After two years of family
counseling, and much change for both the parents and daughter, things are
much better.  She is now attending a major university and intends to become
a family counselor - so that she can help others overcome similar problems.

In retrospect, the parents feel badly about pushing her so hard and
setting _their_ expectations upon her.  Fortunately, they saw the results
and were willing change themselves in order to (literally) save their
daughter.

Just one possible outcome from pushing your children too hard.  Fortunately
this one has a very happy ending.

Steven (sjk@strl.labs.tek.com)

"Sometimes if you have a cappuccino and then try again it will work OK."
(Dr. Brian Reid)  "Sometimes one cappuccino isn't enough." (Marcus Ranum)
"A double vanilla latte always works."  (Me)