From: mfc1493@venus.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Subject: Re: I nominate this group to be renamed...
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 1992 22:34:00 GMT

In article <14498@mindlink.bc.ca>, Jeremy_Reimer@mindlink.bc.ca (Jeremy Reimer) writes...
>Something like alt.juvenile.stupid.useless.cascade seems about right to me.

Since no one asked you...bugger off!

You know, I almost said "fuck off"--I even had it typed in--but I thought, "Hmm.
Why should I pull myself down to his level? I mean, back when I was in grade
school, and me Pop used to thrash me with his belt that he won as a door prize
to the Bum-Biter's Anonymous meetings before he fell off the wagon and ran
throught he park biting bums all day...female bums...male bums...pigeon bums...
even a bum's bum...and got caught by that nice policeman with the checkered 
scarf and tattoo of the Windsor Coat of Arms right there on his bum, then me
Pop bit him in the tattoo before his pants could even hit the ground and
got carted off to the clinker with the muggers and murderers and politicians
that got caught doing naughty things with choirboys and sheep and didn't even
have the decency to close the curtains so the neighbors wouldn't stare and gape
and take pictures for their children up in the north who couldn't come down
for the holidays because Uncle Louie's got this rash on his thingy that even
Dr. Maltin can't cure, and I don't have to tell you how much *he* knows about
thingies, so they had wait four hours in the hospital waiting room reading those
bleeding Highlights magazines and some bastard already worked all the puzzles
and found all the hidden pictures and the damn things are only three years old
anyway, until finally a nurse named Ms. Moist came out and took Cousin Charley
the cripple back behind the desk and did who-knows-what with him but, my, he
sure came back with a smile and an empty specimen bottle that he kept in a grip
so tight it took ten minutes to pry it away from him with a shoe horn so I
could go get my share of watered down coffee from the cafeteria that wasn't even
bleeding open because of an epidemic of anorexia going around that had killed 
dozens of people and put grocers out of business all the way to Luton where the
church said the Devil had his headquarters or at least some post of importance
maybe the Social Securities which I'll never see because all the crooked bankers
and politicians skimming off the top and there won't be any left by the time I
get there to skim my share so I'll end up selling dead rats in the street just 
to feed my pet badger that keeps running away to join the Foreign Legion even
though I told him a thousand times that only pooftahs join the Foreign Legion
so I guess I should have been concerned when he started wearing my mother's
high heels and stockings and I didn't realize she was so small that she could
fit into a badger's clothes even though she did get that quarter from under the
table without even bending over and showing her leather panties that whe always
wore when the neighbors were mowing the yard because you know me Pop doesn't
get out of prison for another five years and she sure gets lonely at home by
herself when Pop is there with all those men who love him and why couldn't she
have been the one to go to prison and wear one of those lovely black and white
striped outfits even though stripes make her look fat, even fatter that Aunt
Milton who used to be Uncle Milton until that mixup in the Navy."

Funny how the mind works...

Ratboy the Long-Winded
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python