Newsgroups: soc.motss
From: dgilly@us.oracle.com (Daniel Gilly)
Subject: Re: Homosexuals raising children
Organization: Oracle Corporation, Redwood Shores CA 94065
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 18:06:12 GMT
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by an unauthenticated user
              at Oracle Corporation.  The opinions expressed are those
              of the user and not necessarily those of Oracle.

In article <1992Nov11.163711.22396@lsa.umich.edu> 
		 ttoon@saxon.ling.lsa.umich.edu (Thomas Toon) writes:
} At first I wasn't going to reply to this post, mostly because I
} thought I'd just get mad.  Several other posters have been able
} to sustain a belief in the original posters good will, so I'll
} give it a try.

I'd like to add to the responses I've seen and say that I, too,
appreciate your story.  Obviously this was a tough situation.
Glad to hear it turned out well.  Your son's reaction was
certainly better than the one my SO received from his adult
kids.

} 	You ask the wrong questions, but since they are the
} 	standard questions, here my experience.  I was a
} homosexual parent for years before my sons knew I am gay.  That
} is, there are a lot of homosexuals out there raising children
} who don't know they are homosexual.  Does that concern you as
} well?  

I'm hoping that this does address some of the original poster's
concerns.  Unfortunately, I got the feeling that the poster has
some deeply entrenched stereotypes, and since your situation is
not quite what he had in mind (at least, that's my take on it),
it may not satisfy his concerns.  My impression is, the example
he was thinking of involves two openly homosexual motss raising
children, or "children" as he put it.  At least one person took
issue with the quotes, facetiously (?) implying that the poster
was somehow putting down same-sex couples as real parents.  

I found the quotes mildly disturbing, but I interpreted them as
references to adopted children or to the idea that they weren't 
biological offspring of *both* parents.

} When I told my older (sixteen year old) son I am gay, his
} immediate reply was, "How many people know?"  After he heard the
} answer, he said, "I wish I had been the second person you told
} rather than the sixth."  He then asked me what's for lunch.
                           ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This struck me funny, in an endearing sort of way.  How often
do we steel ourselves for a supposedly momentous revelation,
only to be deflated by a reply of, "So??"  (I guess this is 
preferable to an angry, vengeful reaction, hunh?)

} Several weeks later, he and his brother and mother sat down to
} dinner with me and my lover.  Later in the evening he stopped by
} again with several of his friends to that they could meet my
} lover.  When we had a chance to talk about it, I asked him whom
} he was telling, and his response was simple, "this is not
} something to hide, dad."

Again, I applaud your son.  I'm reminded of a foursome (two
men, a girl, and a boy) I saw marching in the San Francisco 
Gay Pride, each wearing a white T-shirt with different labels:

1)  Gay Father
2)  Other Gay Father
3)  Gay Father's Daughter
4)  Gay Father's Daughter's Boyfriend

Kinda makes you wonder if there shouldn't be a kids' group
to complement P-FLAG.
-- 
Daniel Gilly                                   dgilly@us.oracle.com 
                                               Oracle Corporation
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