Newsgroups: bit.listserv.words-l
Date:         Sun, 16 Aug 1992 03:10:00 EDT
From:         Gilbert Smith <N567126@NCSUADM.ACS.NCSU.EDU>
Subject:      WHTMIQR12
Comments: To: English Language Discussion Group <words-l@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU>

W....12
---------------
45) So, little -ggs, unable to stay out of trouble, walks down
the beach at 2 in the morning and passes a couple *in flagrante*
worshipping the Mayan gods right there by the surf, and he just
walks on by without saying a word, without pointing out that these
youngsters are performing an unnatural act in full view of
passersby, of which there are none other than -ggs.  So, he then
perches on a dune not far away and transfixed, cant keep his eyes
off the sillouette of this pareja doing some funny things, and
notices that one of the palace wink wink security guards is
standing in the shadows watching this ritual, also.  Life is
so much fun.  Couple decide that they have had enough, get up and
just walk right in front of little -ggs sitting on the sand,
pretending that he did not see.
46) Some thirty minutes pass, and the full moon and the white
sand and the raging surf proves to be too much so -ggs rips off
his skimpy Speedo and frolics in the surf en pelotas, as they
say in the Hispanic World.  Then, he runs up to the edge of the
deserted, destroyed hotel next to the Palace, left by Hurricane
Gilbert, appropriately enough, still in his b'day suit and
suddenly realizes that Sr. Hotel Security is *watching* him from
the shadows.  So what? he thinks, and Sr. HS comes over and says
what are you doing here are you in the hotel I am the security
staff.  What I am doing is enjoying the beach and yes I am in the
hotel and I'm in room 210 and I did *not* steal any towels.  So
he says to me, as I stand there en pelotas, get back down by the
water, you cant be up here because this is where the turtles come
up to lay their eggs when the moon is full.  Neat, yeah, really
neat, so I go back down to the water and wait for an hour for
the f*cking turtles who never come but Sr. HS stands in the
shadows and watches me the entire time.  Wierd!  But, a nice
last night on the beach in Cancun....   Then I just go back to
his hotel, swinging my room key, and my little butt, pretending to
be Dorothy McGuire in _Written On The Wind_ as she goes up that
staircase dragging her mink stole and looking over her shoulder
at her brother Robert Stack looking like screw you I'll do what
I want to do.
47)  Get up on Thursday and check out.  -ggs very nervous as there
is a delay in confirming the Visa charge, thinking this is it they
have us there is no escape send the wordslers a message to come get
-ggs out of the stinking Mexican jail quick it is over will anyone
even miss me?  Confirmation comes and Sr. Checkout Man says thank
you very much please come again and we get in taxi and speed to the
airport for $15 and arrive an hour ahead of our 8:45 flight to
Miami and a four hour wait for the 4:30 flight to RDU.  Flight, of
course, cant leave because seven local mechanics cant figure out
how to make the engines start, so they tell us to go get a free
breakfast and come back at 11 am.  Too late, sorry, for the Miami-
RDU flight.  So, -ggs, taking matters in his little hands, goes up
and says there is a direct flight to RDU at 1:30, I want two seats
on it and they say no problem, take my Cancun-Miami boarding passes
and, with a ball point pin, marks out Miami and writes RDU and marks
out the seats and writes in new ones.  You're all set, and tc is
beaming with love and admiration for her -ggs who bought a toy he
didn't need when she was still in what was once Czechoslovakia.
48)  Nice free breakfast, then a long wait, enough time to shop
in the airport stores, where everything was *cheaper* than in the
market, but tc is unhappy because they wont bargain.
49) Time to board direct flight (which we couldnt book in June
because it cost $200 more) airport personnel appologizing for
our discomfort not knowing that this was the flight I wanted all
the time, and lots of people yelling at the American Airlines
ticket agents because they were not going to get on this plane and
home before tomorrow.....  and they called our row numbers and we
moved to the boarding gate and the women said NO.... Miami passengers
must step over there and wait.  And........
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--ggs (thought this would be it be there is more...... )
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