From: news@umd5.umd.edu (USENET)
Newsgroups: alt.personals,alt.personals.ads,alt.personals.bondage,alt.personals.poly,alt.personals.misc
Subject: -=-=-=-< alt.personals.* FAQ >-=-=-=-
Summary: the FAQ, ma'am, just the FAQ.....
Date: 27 Dec 92 01:00:59 GMT
Followup-To: doug:  < doug@eng.umd.edu > : < doug@lpf.umd.edu >
Organization: Hah!  we don't need no steenkin' organization!
Cc: doug@eng.umd.edu,doug@lpf.umd.edu
Originator: doug@lpf.umd.edu



	-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-< rev. 921226 >-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


 #  what is a FAQ? 

	there are a number of questions that a new reader to alt.personals.*
  might have about the newsgroup(s) and how they are run.  even 'old-time'
  users of the alt.personals group might run across some confusion every
  now and again.  there then arise a number of frequently asked questions
  on the net about these things.  that's what this list is - answers to
  those Frequently Asked Questions.  please - if you have a question, look
  for the answer in here first before posting to the net as a whole.  do
  not mail questions to the administrator of this list, they may be
  discarded, un-answered, or you may get a strange and twisted reply.....
  *{touch bin/smiles/#7}*


 #  the list:

  #  Frequently Asked Question List.
  #  the contents of this list:
  #  what is alt.personals.*?
  #  what is a personals/personals ad?
  #  who can post to the alt.personals.* group, and how?
  #  '.sig' and sig-files
  #  what is acs (anonymous contact service)/and anonymity in general?
  #  what do all those abbreviations mean?
  #  other popular abbreviations.
  #  what are the guidelines for alt.personals.*?   
  #  where to take discussions instead of alt.personals/alt.personals.ads:
  #  why don't i get all those groups/how come i can't get *.* group?
  #  posting style.
  #  other questions.


 #  what is alt.personals.*?

	alt.personals.* is a hierarchy of groups, at this time, consisting
  of 5 groups, (alt.personals and alt.personals.ads, alt.personals.bondage
  alt.personals.misc, and alt.personals.poly) where people can meet people,
  electronically.

	in the beginning......

	1st there was alt.personals.  its original purpose was to provide a
  place on the net where anybody could place a personal ad.  its gone a bit
  beyond that in its current incarnation, and there is a lot of discussion(s)
  about single people and about people who place personal ads, and general
  observations, criticisms, humor, poetry, and a general forum for people to
  interface, as well as to place personal ads.  since it is an 'alt' group,
  it has no official charter, only some guidelines.  some of those guidelines
  appear below.  it is not moderated, meaning, there is no one in control of
  the posting other that the 'net.gods' who own the machines, and your local
  systems administrators, (sysadmins/sysops), who are responsible for their
  newsgroups.
	at some point in mid 1992, traffic on the alt.personals group had
  become so great that the 'noise' to ad ratio caused enough discussion that
  someone created an alternative 'alt.personals' group, dedicated strictly to
  ads.  while the idea was motivated by the highest idealism, the new group,
  alt.personals.ads, rather quickly turned into a duplicate or redundant
  alt.personals.  all that applies to alt.personals also applies to
  alt.personals.ads, alt.personals.bondage and alt.personals.misc.

	there is a specific group, called alt.personals.bondage.  this is
  still an alt.personals.* group, and this FAQ applies (generlly) to it, as
  well, however, this group is specifically aimed at the needs of a specific
  group of people, and has a few minor but significant varaitions.

	in addition, there is alt.personals.misc, a group specifically for
  the continuation of discussions that may appear on the alt.personals.*
  groups, yet not be appropriate for continuance there.

	finally, there is alt.persoanls.poly, which caters to multiple
  and/or polygamous types of realtionships....



  #  what is a personals/personals ad?

	from webster's ninth new collegiate dictionary and collegiate
  thesaurus  (1st digital edition):

   1: of, relating to, or affecting a person: PRIVATE <done purely for
	personal financial gain>
   2a: done in person without the intervention of another; also: proceeding
	from a single person
     b: carried on between individuals directly <a personal interview>
   3: relating to the person or body
   4: relating to an individual or his character, conduct, motives, or private
	affairs often in an offensive manner <a personal insult>
   5a: being rational and self-conscious <personal, responsive government
	is still possible <John Fischer>
     b: having the qualities of a person rather than a thing or abstraction <a
	personal devil>
   6: of, relating to, or constituting personal property <a personal estate>
   7: denoting grammatical person 

   personal n

   1: a short newspaper paragraph relating to the activities of a person or
	a group or to personal matters
   2: a short personal or private communication in a special column of the
	classified ads section of a newspaper or periodical

	while all the meanings could technically apply, and i, myself, have
  even justified certain posts that way, the generally accepted notion of a
  'personals/personals ad' is most appropriately, for our purposes, the noun,
  definitions 1 & 2. (for all intents and purposes, we are a 'periodical')
	while many times it is impossible to control the urges, given many
  strong provocations, try to keep in mind the general purpose of the group.


  #  who can post to alt.personals.*, and how?

	anyone with the proper access to internet/usenet, via a machine
  that carries the specific newsgroup to which you wish to post, (and,
  assuming you have posting privelege on your machine), can post.  such
  priveleges are just that, priveleges; *NOT* a right.  abusing the
  privelege(s) can result in loss of access, loss of account(s), and
  various legal civil and criminal proceedings.  most unfortunate, should
  you end up there.  it generally depends on the offense, the intent, the
  systems administrator(s) whom you may annoy or anger, and or any superiors
  (such as your boss) who may not appreciate your 'representation'.

	generally, internet or usenet sites are of three origins:  public
  access systems (pay to play), universities and educational institutions
  (by far, the largest group) , and large and small private corporations.
  there is a fourth, the federal government, however, it is severely
  restricted, in some cases, and sort of falls outside the general rules,
  (as is the case of most things concerning the federal government....)
  it costs someone, some where, *REAL* money to carry and maintain a site,
  and it isn't wise to upset these people.  generally, they don't care what
  petty squabbles occur on the net, but should a problem come to their
  attention, they may well question their support, and this usually means
  a set of very unfortunate circumstances.  this is a thing generally to be
  avoided.

	usually, a large system with newsgroups is running something like
  'readnews', and when you first start reading news, you get a one time
  synopsis of 'how to use' readnews.  while new to a system or program,
  often, such details sail right by, and after a while, you might forget.
  on UNIX systems, there is a command called [man].  it is a manual entry
  call command, and when followed by a command, (ie., readnews) it will
  look up the information on that command in the 'on line manuals.'  in
  ULTRIX, a similar function exists also called [man].  VMS uses the [help]
  command, which give you the help tree.
	things you may wish to learn about is the posting procedure for you,
  on your machine.  each system is a little bit different, although there
  are many similar and/or identical features.  you may wish to familiarize
  yourself with the editor, as well as the posting procedure.  this saves
  major headaches later.
	basic posting procedure on UNIX and ULTRIX systems is going to start
  with the command [Pnews].  you will then be prompted on a number of things
  called 'fields':  which group(s), the subject, the distribution,
  article(s) you wish to include, etc..  learn to use your editor.
  cut down on un-necessary verbiage.  (ie. trim your article as much as
  possible.)  don't use all caps.  (this is generally taken as SHOUTING!
  and is very annoying to read.  try to taylor your line length to the 
  standard screen width, so that sentences don't wrap in the middle of
  words.  *USE A SPELL CHECKER OR EDIT YOUR WORK* before you send it out!
  there are few things more irritating (or amusing) than a horribly mangled
  post.  it can lend some rather amusing factors to an otherwise irritating
  post, but generally, it is a sign of poor technical and language skills.
  	after you have edited your fields, the body of your text, and (if
  you are advanced enough) your 'sig' (that clever little 40 line thing that
  follows some posts), then you are ready to send it out.   once it is sent,
  there are ways to retrieve or stop it, but it still gets out a little way
  before you can stop it, so, be sure you mean to say what you say, *before*
  you hit that 'send' command.

  #  '.sig' and sig-files:

	speaking of those 'clever little 40 line things...'  they are called
  'sigs', or signatures.  for most systems, you create a file (using an editor)
  that you call '.sig'  (the '.' is important), in your 'root' directory.  in
  that file you put a clever saying or some clever ascii art, or a combination
  of the two... whatever you like.  you then save it.  depending on your
  system, you may have to logout, then login again for it to become active,
  but in any event, whenever you post or email something, it gets appended.
	however, when posting to the net (as in a newsgroup) it is generally
  not polite to get too carried away with these .sigs.  try not to let them
  get too far out of hand or too long, possibly limiting them to maybe 4 - 6
  lines.  there is no rule, but it is the 'nettiquette'.
	also, be careful how you delineate it, as some posting software will
  clip it right out, especially the acs software, which is notorious for 
  this.  additionally, you may not want it to go out when you post
  anonymously, as there may be those who know you by it, or can trace you
  through it.
	what *i* like to do is to have a few files with different 'sigs' in
  them, and in my editing mode, i use a pipe [ | ] or tilde [ ~ ] sequence
  to append them where i wish.  this avoids sending them out automatically
  when i don't mean to, or accidental duplications and only costs a few
  keystrokes.  your mileage may vary.....


  #  what is acs (anonymous contact service)/and anonymity in general?

  is there a way to post anonymously?

	no.  a person with enough knowledge of systems, and having some
  skills with hardware can get into anything/anywhere.  this requires
  *some* special knowledge and access, but not all that difficult a thing
  to accomplish.  (for more on security matters see alt.security, and a
  couple of other groups, and you will be appalled at just how easy it is!)
  a reasonable 'rule of thumb' is don't send out anything you don't want
  everyone to know!"

  acs:

	there are a lot of myths and misconceptions regarding the newsgroup
  alt.personals.* and the acs, and their relationship.
	acs is *NOT* a part of internet or the alt.pesonals.*, except in
  that it posts to the net.group, just as an individual would.  it is subject
  to the same rules and regulations as an individual poster.

  what is acs?

	acs means 'anonymous contact service' and it is a 'service', provided by
  a person or persons who donate their time and machinery/system to the
  general or specific portions of the public.  it is a method by which the
  poster *MAILS* his/her post to a specific address, and certain software
  running on that machine modifies the headers, and keeps track of where it
  came from, assigns an anonymous number or name, and then sends the post
  back to alt.personals.* as a post.

	there are at least 5 different anonymous services in use, that i
  know of, and 2 are on alt.personals/alt.personals.ads, one is on
  alt.personals.bondage, one is on alt.sex.bondage, and i have another.
  4 of these services are open to the (general - within the bounds of the
  owners' rules) public.  one, (for now, - mine) is not.

	*NOTE*  you are completely at the mercy of the person or persons
  running the service (regardless of what they say) and you have no real
  way of knowing who else has access to that system and the information
  you have so trustingly sent there.  if they wish to discriminate or not
  anyway they wish.  they *also* must take the legal and administrative
  headaches that can go with running such a service, and that alone has
  been the major downfall of many acs services, in the past.  they also have
  access to that complete data bank of names and addresses.  you are putting
  your trust in the person running the service.  however, things can happen.
  systems go haywire, and have, and strange things occur.  even recently.
  'caveat emptor' or let the buyer beware!  you get what you pay for, and if
  it seems too good to be true, it usually is.....
	i do not post anonymously.  it is a personal choice.  to me, it is
  less honest.  there are, however, those out there who have legitimate
  work concerns, or certain sexual practices they would rather not have the
  general populace examine too closely.  however, there is a major potential
  for abuse by users.  we have seen it quite recently in the alt.personals.*.
  there are no 'net.police', and  we have to 'police' ourselves.  harassment,
  practical jokes, blackmail, and other abuses can and have too easily
  occured.  be careful about what you say, and to whom.  once out there in
  the public domain, it becomes public property, for better or worse, and
  there are those who are all to ready to shut down an open system like
  this.  don't let it happen because of you.

	anyone who has a machine, and the software, can run an acs.  it is
  NOT a part of the alt.personals.*.  this is a common mistake.  it is
  overlaid on the system, and you need not use one, if you do not wish to.
  simply post directly to the alt.* with the Pnews command.
	in order to use an acs, you must mail to the address provided by
  the acs service, (generally in their acs FAQ or how to post to ACS, which,
  like this FAQ, comes out periodically).  read the instructions provided by
  the service you chose, and then carefully follow them.  do not post to the
  group asking how to do this.  look at the bottom of a post from that
  service. 
	if you should wish to start your own acs, write to me, and i will
  provide you with the address of the authors of three versions of the acs
  software that *i* know of.  most likely, they would be more than happy to
  send it to you, as they did for me.


  #  what do all those abbreviations mean?

  ap/apa/apb/apm/app - alt.personals/.ads/.bondage/.misc/.poly
  "*" is generally a wildcard and is used to mean "anything" as in;
	alt.personals.*, where "*" could mean "ads" or "bondage" or "d"
  "d" at the end of a group (ie. alt.personals.d) will generally refer to
	"discussion"  or a place where discussion is appropriate

  usually, the abbreviations for people are in groups of 3.
  the 1st is (usually) status, the 2nd, (usually) race and the 3rd,
	(usually) sex/gender.

  some common status examples:
  S - single, M - married, D - divorced, G - Gay, Bi - bisexual,

  some common race abbreviations:
  W - white, B - black, A - asian, I - indian, H - hispinac, O - oriental
	while not exactly race, sometimes:
  J - jewish, C - christian

  some common sex abbreviations:
  M - male, F - female, L-lesbian, C - couple, X - transexual/crossdresser
	(I - idiot (non-specific gender))

	often, people posting use the wildcard '*' in place of any of the
  above. this means that the person does not care about that preference.

  Some examples:

  SWF - single white female
  BiWM - bisexual white male
  GBM - gay black male
  S*F - single "any race" female
  BiWC - bisexual white couple
	etc.


  #  other popular abbreviations:

  ISO- in search of
  SO - significant other (lover, spouse, etc)
  MOTSS - member of the same sex
  MOTAS - member of the appropriate sex
  MOTOS - member of the opposite sex
  TV/TS - transvestite/trans-sexual
  X - cross or trans, as in X-dresser or X-sexual
  S&M/B&D - sadism & masochism/bondage & discipline
  BTW - by the way
  IM(NS)(H)O - in my (not so) (humble) opinion
  FYI(A) for your information(amusement)
  SF - san francisco
  RTFM - read the f***ing manual
  ESADMF - if you don't know what it means, don't worry about it!
 

  #  what are the guidelines for alt.personals.*?

	since the purpose for creating the group was for placing personal
  ads, it is greatly preferred by many of the readers of alt.personals.*
  that you only place personal ads there, and keep the discussion portion
  out of alt.personals.* and put it in its appropriate group.  a vast
  number of people ignore this, but since alt.personals.* is neither
  chartered nor moderated, you can post just about anything you want.  the
  usual USENET guidelines and regulations exist, of course, the main one
  here being do not post any advertisements for products or services, only
  personal ads.  this leads to the question of "what, exactly, is a
  personals?"   i will deal with this question later.  postings seeking
  illegal substances or activities is also frowned upon.  posting obvious
  slander or harassing messages is frowned upon as well, and can lead to
  some very nasty legal consequences, in certain situations, while posting
  someone's private e-mail without their permission is merely a breach of
  "nettiquette", and considered very bad manners.

	some specific guidelines for alt.personals.* exist as well.
  probably the most important one, especially in groups like these, is to not
  post anything derogatory concerning a person's sexual preference or habits.
  these groups have men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men,
  women seeking women and bi's seeking either, as well as married individuals
  seeking additional partners or groups, and couples seeking the same.  one
  group (apb) supports leather fetishes, bondage, s&m, and other, alternate
  lifestyles.  if this bothers you, the general recommendation is that you
  don't subscribe to this group.  if you do subscribe, please don't harass
  other posters on the basis of their sexual preference, or morality.

	other guidelines include not posting EPS, TIF, GIF or JPEG (picture)
  files.  stories and/or erotica or poetry (except in the context of a
  personals post,) don't really belong here, either.  postings containing
  foul or abusive language are not good, and "flames" are asked to be
  directed to alt.flames.  discussions are going to occur, but if you are
  looking for a specific group for discussions, please look at the list
  below.  it isn't a complete list of groups, (i have over 2,500 available
  on my machines, and some have more) just some groups that might be of
  interest to alt.personals.* readers.  you should (but not always) find a
  more open audience to discussions about particular topics in those groups
  than in alt.personals.*.


  #   where to take discussions instead of alt.personals.*:

  discussion over alt.personals posts issues:  alt.personals.misc
  talking about singles and singles issues:  soc.singles 
     "      "   couples' "  couples   "   :  soc.couples
     "      "     men    "    male    "   :  soc.men
     "      "    women   "   women    "   :  soc.women
     "      "    gays    "    gay     "   :  soc.motss
  looking for pen-pals:  soc.pen-pals
  s&m or b&d:            alt.sex.bondage
  flames:                alt.flame
  test posts:            misc.test
  erotica:               rec.art.erotica
  sex stories:           alt.sex.stories
  humor:            	 alt.humor, alt.humor.funny
  sick humor:            alt.humor.tasteless
  gifs:                  alt.binaries.* (where "*" is the specific type)
                      	 or alt.gifs
  bigoted, morality bashing, preaching of any kind, unpleasant and
	otherwise inappropriate stuff :     dev/null


  #  posting style:

	everybody has their own unique personality, and it is generally
  recommended that you try and bring forth this personality when you post
  a personal ad, if you are looking for best results.  important factors
  to consider for your ad -
  - your age and the age range of people you are seeking.
  - your physical location and geographic region from which you are
	seeking contact.
  - your interests and what you find interesting in people
  - your intent - pen-pals, friends, possible relationships, just talk,
	or whatever.
  - while creativity is good, inordinately lengthy and verbose will generally
	bore some or lose the readers' interest.  try to limit the length to
	100 words (or so).

	posting ads blatantly looking for sex are generally ignored, but not
  always and a good number of them are hoaxes, so use caution or common sense
  when either posting or responding to an ad looking for sex.  there is an
  old saying,   "if it looks too good to be true, it probably is..." or
  "caveat emptor!"

	if you are a woman posting either a personal ad or a general post, be
  prepared, as female posters generally receive a pretty good response. don't
  be surprised if you receive over 100 pieces of mail in response to a
  personal ad.  be prepared for that.  also be prepared for some of them to
  be less than literary.

	If you are a man posting ISO a woman, don't be surprised if you get
  very little, if any response.  the key is to be persistent and original.
  read the group a while to get the feel of ads - you'll notice that a lot
  of them start sounding the same rather quickly.  try to imagine yourself
  as a woman who has to respond to your ad - would you respond to yet another
  boring or crude post or to an ad that shows some originality and
  personality.  its been 'proven' that original and lively posts get the best
  responses.  a sense of humor is almost a requirement.

	it is generally a buyer's market, and it seems that the women are
  in the buyer's position.  while it may seem that there are not many out
  there, posting, that can be rather deceiving. there are *MANY* more men
  and women out there who are watching or 'lurking', than who actually post.
  often, a clever post will draw a response.  more often than not, the
  reason that you may not get an immediate response is because of your post,
  not because there is no one out there.
	in brief, originality will go a very long way for you.

	if you think that you will go out and find your 'wet-dream' situation,
  through posting on the net, then serious re-alignment may be in order. 
  while it might happen, the reality is that if you are having personality
  problems connecting with people in person, the net *IS NOT* going to solve
  them.  you will still have to deal with other persons, and eventually, you
  will have to face and deal with your problem.

	don't whine and snivel how there are no good women or men out there
  in '.net-land'.  1.) it isn't true, 2.) nobody wants to listen to you 
  whine.  try looking at yourself realistically, and changing yourself/post
  first.  this is not to say that there are no rude or cruel people out 
  there.  there are.  get over it.....

	harassment happens.  generally by males who haven't learned the trick
  of living in a mixed gender group yet (an unfortunate fact the rest of us
  have to deal with).  be wary of what you say/write and to whom (regardless
  of your or their gender) as all the people have to judge you on is your
  post/response.
	there are ways, quite legal, to deal quite effectively with harassment
  situations.  examine your post or replies.  if you are satisfied that you
  are reasonably blameless, collect your notes and posts, and any mail from
  the harasser, and save them in a file.  ask your systems administrator what
  you can do, or the best way to procede.  another thing is to send a note
  to his/her sysadmin, (usually the staff or postmaster@the.home.machine of
  the harasser), along with a copy of the posts.  this usually will have
  the desired effect.  if, unfortunately, you have to take it further,
  talk with your sysadmin, as to what s/he suggests is the best form of
  legal action to persue.  always start with a polite, yet firm request that
  s/he discontinue all further communications.  make it crystal clear, but
  do not make any threats.  always keep a record or documentation of all
  incidents.


  #  other questions:

  why isn't there a soc.personals?

	every so often, there is a proposal and then a vote on splitting the
  alt.personals groups into categories, but the votes have, so far, failed.
  there is currently no proposal on the discussion table for creation of a
  soc.personals, so you all just have to get along.

  where can I go to find help about USENET?

	try news.announce.newusers for helpful posts about the USENET system.
	you can try the [man] pages or supplimentary help files, online.


	if you feel that something is missing from the FAQ, or you wish to
  address *constructive* criticism to me, you are most welcome.  i don't 
  have to like you to agree with you, nor do i necessarily have to agree
  with you just because i like you.  you are free to dissent without 
  prejudice.



History of Alt.personals FAQ:
original: 25-May.92(rON. blowfish@carina.unm.edu)
update  : 02-Jun.92(rON. blowfish@carina.unm.edu)
admin passed on 02-Jun.92 to (doug. doug@eng.umd.edu)
revised 92-11-11 (doug. doug@eng.umd.edu) 
update: 92-12-26(doug. doug@lpf.umd.edu)


	this has been a public service message.....

	and, as always, i am/at:

             doug:  < doug@eng.umd.edu > : < doug@lpf.umd.edu >

           -=-=-=-=-=-=-< a ghost in the machine >--=-=-=-=-=-=-

        "Omnia anima tristum, post coitem est."
	                           -Vergil, or Aquinus, or somebody.
Newsgroups: alt.personals,alt.personals.ads