From: jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Subject: B&B:  Monday's episode is history
Content-Type: text
Organization: Computer Science, Indiana University
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 16:23:32 -0400 (EDT)
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4beta PL16]
Content-Length: 6808      

	I'm using the backdoor because the news server is dead, Jim.
	Somebody e-mail me to tell me this was read and received!
	On with the recap...


********************************************************************


     The episodes of Thursday and Friday are now confined to
a nebulous underworld, a limbo of magnetic media.  They
exist in the minds and memories of the devoted watchers,
perhaps held in some vibrant words of those who might seek
to describe the scenes and acts which passed ethereal over
the screen of imagination.  In the history of mental
compilation, these episodes will always be spoken of but
never envisioned, understood to have occurred yet never
witnessed.  They float, only once, to where they can be
received and appreciated, then disappear, as if the
diaphanous unreality they represent passes incorporeal
through our bodies, allowing us to hear if only we have made
prior preparation to listen.  But if it is not so -- then they are
lost forever, consigned to the greyness of that which never
was nor ever seemed to be, nothing more than paintings on
the tides.


     In other words, I taped the episodes of Thursday,
Friday and Monday, but they are currently being taped over
by today's episode and tonight's Vice-Presidential debates.
C'est la tape.  I DO know that Taylor was reunited with
Zach, and they cried a lot.
     I watched Monday's episode in real-time, my finger
twitching on the fast-forward button every time a commercial
showed up.

     And this had some fun stuff.

     Monday on "The Bold and the Beautiful"


     SHE'S NOT MANAGING VERY WELL

     Macy is home, steaming over the corporate re-
arrangement at Spectra.  Thorne offers an encouraging ear
and Macy tries to lick it, but that's out of bounds.  Tough
day at the office, dear?  he asks.  Sort of like morning in
Cairo yesterday, she says.  I thought you were looking
forward to meeting the new partner?  Up until the point he
walked in the door, Macy says -- it's mag magnate Bill
Spencer!  Whoa doggie, Bill Spencer?  Thorne recapitulates.
You got it, and furthermore, he installed your roommate and
mine, Karen Dearest, as his on-site watchdog, pit bull, and
coffee clubber!  And she makes better coffee than me!  I
can't take this!  Then I guess it wasn't too smart of you to
slam her abilities this morning, eh?  Thorne inquires.  You
got that right, Macy answers.  What's Sally think of it?
Thorne asks.  She thinks you've got to take a spoonful of
sugar to make the medicine go down, and she doesn't know
that Karen is sharing the premises, so she said to make the
best of it.  Macy stalks off to the bedroom (and I'm saying
"Yes, Yes!  Go for the diaphanous stuff!"), but we don't get
a lingerie show.  Macy comes back in and says how much she
loves Thorne, wants to get on with a real marriage, and
eliminate Karen in the process.  She's sorry for the
position she put him in that allowed him to invite Karen
over for foot-rubs by the balcony.  She still wants to be
his one-and-only love!  she says emotionally.  They embrace
powerfully.  Thorne is moved (but more importantly, where?)

     BILL SPENCER --  THE MAN, THE MANIPULATOR

     Bill is in his office, thinking about the fact that
Thorne is numero uno boyo in his book, and that Caroline was
better off with him than the well-photographed in
shenanigans Ridge.  Now Caroline's gone, but I can install
Karen as Thorne's "raison d'etre".  Or something like that.
Knock knock.  Who's there?  Karen.  Karen who?  Karen who is
tired of fighting over the paper clips with Macy, that's
who!  Karen looks bushed and beleaguered.  Dad offers
encouragement.  Pretty soon you and Thorne will be together
and all of this will seem like a dream.  Bill tells her that
Thorne is sensitive and smart, forthright, insistent, and
responsible.  She tells him that she still luvs the haick
out of ol' Thorny!  They hug.

     ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME GUY -- ME?

     The reunited Hamiltons check out Taylor's office.
Taylor is glowing, smiling, and also wearing a brown sweater
that is tighter than a crying child's grip on a lollipop at
the doctor's office! (knowwhutImean, Vern?).  They start to
discuss what Zach is doing now -- the new job, and Jack
informs Taylor that Zach even has a girlfriend!  Well, I
hope it's not too serious, because I have got one of the
best catches on the beach for you to meet -- my sister-in-
law, Felicia!  Felicia?  Yes, she's cute, honest, buff bod -
- you'd like her, Zach.  Uh, Zach chuckles, I have somethin'
to tell you, it's kind of crazy but...  Interrrrrrupting,
Taylor and Jack say you'd be doing Felicia a favor by
getting her away from the low-life scum-sucking rat-face no
good irresponsible bad hair fly-by-night boyfriend she's
currently involved with.  Jack also adds that Stephanie,
with whom he shares the romantic entanglement, thinks
Felicia's boyfriend deserves to burn in the La Brea Tar
Pits.  Jack does a 180 on the revelation scenario, confirms
the Stephanic low opinion, tells Taylor that she's still the
bestest with the mostest and has the biggest of the
breastest, and opts to go to work.

     TRY TO GET A HANDLE, A GRIP, AND A CLUE

     Back at the Bikini Bar, the waves are tubing to
tenners, but Felicia can't jam because it's like the San
Diego Freeway out there!  she tells Sly.  She speaks of Zach
and the family reunion, and Sly opines that Felicia is the
best thing to happen to him.  Felicia wonders if sis is
anything like Bro, and PhilosoSly says that'd be impossible
-- one crazed maniac is enough!
     Zach arrives and gets into it immediately with the
lovely Felicia.  But he's troubled and suggests a meander on
the marina, a stroll on the strand, footsteps in the sand,
i.e. a walk on the beach.  Outside on the quartz, Felicia
asks her to characterize Stephanie's opinion of him.  I
guess it's fair to say that she has some reservations...
She hates me, Zach finishes, and furthermore she hates my
father for getting us all involved with gambling and Ganz,
almost getting you a free ticket to St. Peter's Heavenly
Version of Disney World, and allowing you to surf all day
instead of working at Spectra, correct?  "Hate" is a strong
word, Felicia answers.  Try "loathe" or "detest".  Well, we
got a problem, because the man she's falling in love with
and the man she hates/loathes/detests (take your pick) are
one and the same.  My last name, the H on the board, is
Hamilton.  I'm Zach Hamilton, Jack's son, Taylor's brother,
and we got trouble in Crystal City.  Felicia is dumbfounded.

     
     Tune in last Friday, when we heard my new fiance' say:
     "YES!"

     E-mail with questions, congrats and gift certificates
to Victoria's Secret.

     Jim "I ain't kidding and this is the real thing" Acker
     jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov


     

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