HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: werewolf@cwis.unomaha.edu (Eric E. Buckner)
Subject: Re: The Philosopher's song?
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 18:38:18 GMT

goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
> In article <1992Oct30.135958.21380@DIALix.oz.au>, meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma) writes:
> > cw7r+@andrew.cmu.edu (Christopher Werry) gets down on his LOUSY STINKING KNEES AND BEGS:
> 
> ***Now look, there is NO NEED TO BEG around here. Just ask for it, OK?
> > 
> >>A couple of questions about Monty Python that I figure the experts
> >>may know: 
> > 
> >>1. Can you tell me what record or videotape the skit about Thomas Hardy
> >>writing a novel is on?  Its the one where a huge crowd gathers to watch
> >>the great novellist compose,  and it is all set up like a sports commentary.
> > 
> > One album it sits on is "The final rip off" (the one with the guts on the
> > outside), along with...
> > 
> >>2. Can anyone supply me with text of the philosopher's song ?
> > 
> > I can, but I'm not going to tell you.  So there.
> > 
> >>Thanks.
> > 
> > Not at all !
> > 
> >>Chris.
> > Meetch aka And now for something totally unexpected - Eric the talking slug.

The philosopher's song was here somewhere....I should know I posted it.
By the way all though I can talk: I AM NOT A SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- 
Never trust the obvious.-- "This," I said pleasantly, "is known as getting it 
on." Charlie Decker, from Stephen King's "Rage"-- "Oh, shit!" anon. wise man--
ALBATROSS!-- It's amazing what you can do, if you don't know you can't do it.
"Denn die Toten reiten schnell." passanger from Bram Stoker's "Dracula"-------
From: goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT.
Date: 18 Nov 92 09:13:54 CST
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

In article <BxvoF0.3sn@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
> la_ind03@blurt.oswego.edu writes:
>>I've had it with this newsgroup and a certain executive officer making
>>unfounded allegations.  Later, folks.  I apologize to everyone who was not
>>involved in such a waste of time and space.
> 
The allegations were not unfounded, they were in response to old
postuings that were read AFTER you sent the letter and I didnt realize
the difference in the dates. Can we please lay off my case now?
in
> Hold on. Remember this is Usenet and all things said on here
> are for the most part NOT serious or real. Except the part
> about me and Gina in the shower.....
> 
Did I have fun there?
>>Meredith taking a long vacation
> Jester aka we will miss you.
Gina aka Do you miss me too?
> -- 
> Join the Omnipotent Overlords of the Omniverse today. Add to intelligent    	
> political, environmental, and social discussions. Buck the growing trend of 
> apathy in the world today, and most importantly have some well earned fun.  
> Read all about us on alt.overlords or e-mail : jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu    
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Subject: Re: Jester did WHAT??
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 20:52:03 GMT

blum@ils.nwu.edu writes:
>jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
>>goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
>>>Gina aka wot's goin on 'ere? 
>>Jester aka I'm coming on you
>I think that the least he could do is wear a condom... how cheap can
>you get?

Real cheap..........she has had 137 of my children already

>Dan aka No Sexual Innuendo Unless It's An Emergency
Jester aka no protection, no infection
-- 
Join the Omnipotent Overlords of the Omniverse today. Add to intelligent    	
political, environmental, and social discussions. Buck the growing trend of 
apathy in the world today, and most importantly have some well earned fun.  
Read all about us on alt.overlords or e-mail : jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu
From: BAB137@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: holy grail
Date: 20 Nov 92 21:20:03 GMT
Organization: Penn State University

does anybody know where the monty python bbs is or send me a copy of the script
 to the holy grail?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Spanish Inquistion
From: djohnson@cayenne.gac.edu (Daniel P Johnson)
Date: 15 Nov 92 22:28:53
Organization: Fill is a dope
In-reply-to: jos@and.nl's message of 14 Nov 92 13:26:45 GMTLines: 48

In article <3862@dozo.and.nl> jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
.In article <1992Nov12.184805.2276@gacvx2.gac.edu> phygod72@nic.gac.edu (Phil ) writes:
.|In article <1992Nov12.090616.13794@aber.ac.uk>  writes:
.|} 
.|} 	In article <1992Nov7.172556.2181@gacvx2.gac.edu> 
.|} 	phygod72@nic.gac.edu (Phil ) did say :
.|} 
.|} ->In article <BxB8Hw.Exw@ccu.umanitoba.ca>  writes:
.|} ->} NOOOObody expects the Spanish Inquistion!!!
.|} ->
.|} ->Uhhhh, I expected it.
.|} Well, I was not going to say anything but I expected it too...
.|} 
.|} However, due to an unfortunate accident I got the Spamish Requisition.
.|} A bit of a pisser really.
.|} 
.|} Pag aka I ask again what happened to all the aka's ?
.|
.|I am a liscenced aka carrier...however, due to rampant disreguard for what I  
.|thought was an *exculsive* liscence, I have quit using them.  Actually, the  
.|idea was put forth some time back, but it would seem the instigator has  
.|reverted back to his normal mode.

.Yes, I'm completely normal again ... all the time ... well, not when
.it's dark, but normally, when I can see properly (ANTELOPE!) I don't
.behave silly any(UNDIES! UNDIES! UNDIES!)more ... Now, would you
.please (LET GO OF MY LEG DAMMIT!) excuse me, I have normal, serious
.things to (zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZT!) do ...  I wanted to be a gynaecologist.

Jossy!  You're alive!  I thought you were a goner!  When I saw you
sucked into that corn-picker and the blood spattered all over my nice
white shirt and your arm when flying across the field and you screamed
horribly until your neck was rent apart and your head was crushed and
your brain oozed into the dirt and your feet were ground into a pulp
and your chest was never fond... I was sure I'd lost you!  But thats
all behind us now, I've found you.  Sigh.  Now about my white shirt...

.|However, I did not wish to make my name blatently known, for fear of the Comfy  
.|chair.  
.|
.|XXXXXXX squig does that explain it?
. ^^^^^^^ I can see the word `Phil' shining through or am I mistaken here?
.Jos aka Founder Of The Akas! (12.142 points) BONG!

Dan aka User of the stuff founded by the founder of the aka's who
founded the stuff I use that was founded by him who did the founding
of the founded find and whose fiddled fortitude forced him to be found
finding finds and founding finded founds.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Forsooth!
From: djohnson@cayenne.gac.edu (Daniel P Johnson)
Date: 15 Nov 92 21:49:11
Organization: Fill is a dope
In-reply-to: csg191@cch.coventry.ac.uk's message of Fri, 13 Nov 1992 14:17:41 GMTLines: 20

In article <BxnrpH.n4K@cck.coventry.ac.uk> csg191@cch.coventry.ac.uk (Ibanez) writes:

.Forsooth quile bonny day mon garson.  Methinks thIS
.Could be the beginning of something very fruity parp.

.Burp - goddnight!
.--
	 The  __________   __
	      \         \ /\ \
	       **********/  **
		/ **    /  **___    ________    _______    _______   ________

Umm... quite.  Yes, that certainly is...uh... interesting.

Dan aka

        The   ___________  ______ __
	     /           \/     / \ \
	     \  _____***  **  *** **
	     / / *****      \\    * **** _____ *** * *______ ____
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: blum@medici.ils.nwu.edu (Dan Blum)
Subject: Re: Jester & Gina sitting in a tree, K_I_S_SI_N_G
Reply-To: blum@ils.nwu.edu
Organization: The Institute for the Learning Sciences
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 01:01:05 GMT

Whipper-snapper?  I beg your pardon.  I was being silly on a computer
when you were knee-high to Ramsey Macdonald!  But enough of this gay
banter.  What I still want to know is what is the point of picking up
your boxer shorts.  I still don't see it at all.

Richard M. Nixon
Not the President of the United States
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: ssipila@vipunen.hut.fi (Seppo K Sipil{)
Subject: Re: Spot the looney
Organization: Helsinki University of Technology, Finland
Date: 23 Nov 92 18:35:16 GMT

In <1992Nov23.145726.10505@ncsu.edu> kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (CHESTNUTT) writes:
>|> 
>|> So, in the early 70's this kind of thing was a Monty Python joke.
>|> Nowadays, I've heard, you might not be taken into a hospital without
>|> the proper health insurance (in the USA). Spot the looney! Is it me or
>|> the Western Civilization (tm)?
>|> 
>Of course a hospital in the USA will take in people who don't have any
>money.  The hospital will simply remove a major limb such as an arm or leg
>in place of money.  Arms and legs are worth quite a lot in the USA

Oh, I understand, yes...nothing like a handsome arm or leg above the
mantelpiece, eh?

Seppo
From: jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: le gumby celebre
Date: 18 Nov 92 21:16:27 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet wonders out loud:
>In article <1992Nov16.210551.5549@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>, jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) writes:
>> In <1992Nov13.145640.3954@wkuvx1.bitnet> goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
>>>In article <1992Nov12.032632.8022@ils.nwu.edu>, blum@medici.ils.nwu.edu (Dan Blum) writes:
>>>> Sorry, but I've been right off that since I got out of Dannemora.  You
>>>> couldn't keep your boxers up for two minutes together there.
>>>> 
>>>> Nice of you to offer though.
>>>> 
>>>> Dan "Tool of Satan
>>>Sorry, my boxers keep falling down. Want to pivk them up for me,
>>>though?
>> 
>> If I wanted you to pick them up, I wouldn't keep pulling them
>> down, now would I??

>So YOU are the one that's doing that, then!!!> 
>>>Gina aka tool of venus
>> Jamus <=== tool of ginas
>Guaranteed forever?
Long as you'd like it ...
From: brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage)
Subject: Re: Jester's Burning song
Organization: The Hexagon
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 01:49:23 GMT

Live from the Grill-O-Mat, Paignton.
It's the Burnt Food Song

Burnt for youuuuuuuu
Burnt for me.... Burnt it together...... completely
I burn iiiiiiit during the daaaaaaaaaaay
I burn iiiiiiit during the eeeeeevvvveeeeeeennnning
I served to my sister
I burnt it for a snifter
I served to my mother
I burnt it like no other
I gagged OISmn for singing
I sued Eccles for living
I paid Gina for larking
I shot Jester for farting

David aka next song please.
BTW, what ever happened to the afmp band?
From: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: The deadliest joke in the world
Date: 20 Nov 92 16:54:52 GMT
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Originator: kchestn@c00391-346dan.eos.ncsu.edu


In article <1992Nov20.013338.19086@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au>, brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage) writes:
|> Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
|> Path: taco!rock!stanford.edu!agate!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!wupost!uunet!munnari.oz.au!bruce.cs.monash.edu.au!monu6!yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au!brom
|> From: brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage)
|> Subject: Re: The deadliest joke in the world
|> Message-ID: <1992Nov20.013338.19086@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au>
|> Sender: news@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au (Usenet system)
|> Organization: The Hexagon
|> X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]
|> References: <fischers.722096072@hphalle4>
|> Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 20:33:38 EST
|> Lines: 23
|> 
|> Samuel Fischer (fischers@Informatik.TU-Muenchen.DE) wrote:
|> : nieboer@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Doctor Gonzo) writes:
|> : 
|> : >	This may be old news, but I need a translation of the deadliest 
|> : >joke etc....I have the German version, but, being German-illiterate, I
|> : >can't understand a word. So here it is:
|> : 
|> : >	Q: Venn ist das nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer?
|> : >	A: Ya! (sp?) Beigerhund das oder Flipperwaldt gersput!!
|> : 
|> : >Thanks
|> : 
|> : Being no german illiterate ... here is the very accurate translation :
|> : 
|> : 	Q: whan is the nawnstuw tak and smithidip?
|> : 	A: jes! (sp?) bruwnidog the or Flipperforestd sparken!!
|> : 
|> : I hope I was able to help;)
|> : 
|> OK Sammy. Can you translate this into German?
|> How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
|> 
|> David B.
|> 
or how about:
How many boxes would a boxer box if a boxer could box boxes.

chestnutt working at UPS does wonders for the soul
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: blum@medici.ils.nwu.edu (Dan Blum)
Subject: Re: Bored are we?
Reply-To: blum@ils.nwu.edu
Organization: The Institute for the Learning Sciences
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 20:07:04 GMT

goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
>In article <1992Nov19.124528.21726@ils.nwu.edu>, blum@medici.ils.nwu.edu (Dan Blum) writes:
>>>goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
>>>In article <1992Nov18.181329.9773@ils.nwu.edu>, blum@medici.ils.nwu.edu (Dan Blum) writes:
>>>> Yes.
>>>> 
>>>> Dan aka I've already pissed off 35 people today, and it's not even lunchtime
>>>Sorry Dan, I'm not pissed off. 
>>>But did I tell you the one about the Englishman who....
>> 
>>>Gina aka the goddess of bad jokes
>> 
>> You can't piss off all of the people all of the time, but you might as
>> well give it your best shot.  
>> 
>> Actually I was referring to people here, not a.f.m-p denizens... I've
>> been mailing limericks out when I have nothing better to do, and I
>> never have anything better to do... I expect to be lynched soon.
>> 
>> So, Gina my little hedgehog, what can I do that WILL piss you off?
>You can't piss me off. I'm in a wonderful mood AND NOONE CAN GET ME
>OUT OF IT.  UNDERSTAND???   	good. now then....

OK, then, what can I do that will make you ecstatic with joy?  Bearing
in mind that I'm several hundred miles away...
 
>> Dan aka This is a boring reply isn't it
>Gina aka there have been worse
Dan aka No there haven't, by Imperial Fiat (a 1973 Spider)

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: ins450m@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (T.F. Eccles)
Subject: Re: Sex sells...
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 11:51:46 GMT

pmcgaley@unix1.tcd.ie (Wibble) writes:

>In <1992Nov13.142557.3946@wkuvx1.bitnet> goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:

>>>>Um... wotsername... oh yeah... Sonia.
>>> how far does simon go?  oh, *very* far, i assure you...
>>> he certainly did last night...
>>he did you too?

>I'll have to have a word with him...

SONIA!!!! THE othe loml!!!
Where have you been,draling - the newsgroup has been crying out
for your ....peculiar... brand of sleaze!!!!


>>>>I Go... far. Further than you could dream. Beyond this universe.
>>>>(I'm just having porblums regaining contact.
>>> 
>>> well, i thought we were in contact pretty well, dear...
>>> i certainly felt that spanking..
>>> 
>>i felt something too, but it wasn't a spanking...

>He'll feel something & it won't be nice....

Put that broomstick down.


>>>>>>>leather aka warming up the custard
>>>>>> Eccles aka Getting his cutaway wetsuit.
>>>>>Gina aka why ask why, just do it
>>>>oISnm... I could agree more... come 'ere.
>>> aren't i allowed to play?  *pout*
>>> 
>>you can play too I guess. After I get through. Wanna take turns with
>>him? Could be *fun*!!!

>Excuse me, he's mine.

I thought you were mine....... <lips trembling>


>>> leather aka 6 times on the bathroom floor simon, COUNT!
>>Gina aka where's my......oh there you are!!!!

>Sonia aka The Armpit in disguise.
Eccles aka Nobody in this tent,
From: dran@spectrx.saigon.com (Dran)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: AKA
Keywords: AKA
Date: Sat, 14 Nov 92 20:00:21 PST
Organization: SPECTROX SYSTEMS (408)252-1005 Silicon Valley, Ca

        People have stopped adding AKA's to their messages!
Why has this otherwise popular fad died out so suddenly?  Why
do we no longer quote the text of entire scripts in the AKA's
after our names!  Why do we care!  Why am I typing all this!
To make up for the slacking off of others, I will personally
include six AKA's in my post.  Don't worry: this is legal
because I am a multiple personality victim.

And so am I.

         - ADAM 'DRAN' RIGGS       [ariggs@walrus.mvhs.edu]
AKA  I want to have an argument
AKA spam meister
AKA defender of bicycles oppressed by Communism
AKA Children's Hour Lecturer
AKA I
AKA I'd like to give some blood please...

--
dran@spectrx.saigon.com (Dran)
SPECTROX SYSTEMS +1.408.252.1005  Silicon Valley, Ca

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: le pouff celebre
From: djohnson@cayenne.gac.edu (Daniel P Johnson)
Date: 15 Nov 92 22:00:20
Organization: Fill is a dope
In-reply-to: goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet's message of 13 Nov 92 14:56:39 CSTLines: 21

In article <1992Nov13.145640.3954@wkuvx1.bitnet> goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
.In article <1992Nov12.032632.8022@ils.nwu.edu>, blum@medici.ils.nwu.edu (Dan Blum) writes:
.> Sorry, but I've been right off that since I got out of Dannemora.  You
.> couldn't keep your boxers up for two minutes together there.
.> 
.> Nice of you to offer though.
.> 
.> Dan "Tool of Satan
.Sorry, my boxers keep falling down. Want to pivk them up for me,
.though?

Sure, sure, I'll do that for you!  Here, hold this for me while
I...Hmm?? oh, its my cousin Muriel's stomache.  Mm?  No, she isn't
dead yet, but I thought I had best get her stomache while it was still
fresh.  Hmm.. I can't seem to get these...[yank RIP] Oo!  I've gone
and torn your lovely underwear!  Here, why don't you use tie my hankie
around like...there, thats much better.. Oop!  It doesn't seem to
want...to stay.  Lemme grab a stapler... Now hold still...

.Gina aka tool of venus
Dan aka Loot of Sevun
From: jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: I hope this irritates somebody
Date: 17 Nov 92 15:59:57 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

In <christea.16.721939593@dhhalden.no> christea@dhhalden.no (CHRISTER ANDR JAKOBSEN) writes:

>In article <1992Nov16.012639.5723@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au> brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage) writes:
>>From: brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage)
>>Subject: I hope this irritates somebody
>>Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 01:26:39 GMT
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>>SEMPRINI!

>How funny can one get?

I had a *really* great response planned, but by the time I got
to the end of the post, I forgot what it was.

Jamesa squig How long is it?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: Martin A Laster <mlaster@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
Subject: Write a short story
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 20:14:05 GMT


This is for all you creative story writers.  Let's see how well you can write.

If you could create a character for you to be for only one night at your
favorite night club, what would you think would happen that night at that
club.  Explain in detail the following;
 
	1) your character (i.e. employee, user)
	2) your night at the club (i.e. things you did, people you met)
  
Please keep it as realistic as possible, but also creative as possible.
This is for a study that I am doing for a night club owner who is planning
to open a new club.

Send all replies to this post to vlusane@magnusug.acs.ohio-state.edu

Have Fun !!!!!!!!!

Thank you


Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (CHESTNUTT)
Subject: Re: Jesters Erection Lesults 
Originator: kchestn@c00808-247dan.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (CHESTNUTT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 17:10:12 GMT


In article <1992Nov17.204346.16748@tamsun.tamu.edu>, hnb5164@tamuts.tamu.edu (Heather Noel Bobbie) writes:
|> Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
|> Path: taco!rock!stanford.edu!bcm!tamsun.tamu.edu!tamuts!hnb5164
|> From: hnb5164@tamuts.tamu.edu (Heather Noel Bobbie)
|> Subject: Re: Jesters Erection Lesults 
|> Message-ID: <1992Nov17.204346.16748@tamsun.tamu.edu>
|> Sender: news@tamsun.tamu.edu (Read News)
|> Organization: ~/lib/organization
|> References: <BxqHBJ.BFC@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> <ins450m.721980714@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au>
|> Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 15:43:46 EST
|> Lines: 23
|> 
|> In article <ins450m.721980714@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au> ins450m@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (T.F. Eccles) writes:
|> >jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
|> >
|> >>kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT) writes:
|> >>>jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
|> >>>|>>>>chestnutt aka its so nice to have a penis
|> >>>|>>>Court Jester aka if you say so.....
|> >>>|>>J Seam aak so!
|> >>>|>JReste aka grrr.......I want to be an airbourne ranger
|> >>>You want to be a fair haired major?
|> >
|> >>No. I want to be a red-headed stranger
|> >You mean you want to own a red-headed stranger
|> here i am!  redheaded, and stranger than most!  of course i am
|> already owned (by an englishman, no less:)) but i spose
|> you could negotiate with him...

If he is not less than an englishman, where does that place him

chestnutt aka too much prolog and predicate calculas

|> >>>chestnutt aka i'll bet you'ed be cute
|> >>Jester aka that is what she said after i HAD her
|> >eCcles aka Liar liar pants are on fyre
|> leather aka  better take a cold shower then
|> 
|> 
|> 
|>