From: jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: B&B:  Tuesday trauma
Date: 27 Jan 93 06:55:30 GMT
Article-I.D.: neptune.9301271655.AA16724
Organization: Computer Science, Indiana University
Content-Type: text
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4beta PL16]
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     Thanks everybody for confirming that my updates are
still reaching the great connected Republic, even though
I can't be sure.  Today's episode featured some lame writing
that set up an absolutely delicious finish.  And plus,
it was a simple show -- easy to update.

     WHY ISN'T JACK HERE?  HE'S THE BETTING MAN

     At the Forresters, Eric is telling Stephanie his
deductions regarding the high likelihood he was inserted in
the right place at the right time for high paternal
probability.  Steph says the only person that will find that
really good news is Taylor.  On cue, Taylor comes in, and
Eric explains his 9-month-to-the-day (like I believe him
now), scenario for impregnation and gestation.  Taylor tends
to think it's likely.  Enter Ridge, who dashes everybody's
hopes of a swift resolution when he tells about the doctor's
second opinion -- that no one can know for sure because of
the ten-day "orifice of opportunity".  Ridge should know
about that!  What he doesn't know is the day-to-day schedule
of lovemaking between him and Brooke in that timeframe.  He
confides that he was worried everybody would get crazy
trying to guess.  They all need to reduce their stress
levels and chant some mantras until the test results come in
-- which is the only way we'll know for CERTAIN.

     A FAMILY HEART-TO-HEART

     Back in the garden house, Ridge and Taylor further
discuss the situation.   Taylor wants to know how Ridge felt
when it looked like Eric was the likely father figure.
Ridge says he felt connected to that little girl after he
delivered her.  He "wouldn't be disappointed" to be the
father.  They agree that he'd make a good father, but so
would Eric.   Taylor notes that Brooke has a major
preference for Ridge to be the father.  Taylor asks what if
he (Ridge) turns out to be the father.  Then we'll make a
place for the little girl in OUR family, he reassures her.
They hug on the couch.  Very sweet.

     A FAMILY NOT-SO-HEART-TO-HEART

     (This scene was inevitable).  At the condo, Karen is
still readying herself to tell Thorne about what really
happened between Jake and Macy, but Thorne cuts her off at
every conversational pass.  Thorne doesn't know how to
listen -- no wonder he's a lousy husband (I've been reading
my "getting ready for marriage" books).  He insists that he
wants to put the past behind him and concentrate on making
Karen the number 1 priority in his life, starting with
tonight's feast and frolic.  Karen says "Really, Thorne?
Really?   You really want to do that?  For me?  Really?
Absolutely?  Positively?  Darn tootin'?  No joke?  For
real?"  Her valiant attempts to fill in the space which the
Great Clueless One uses for a brain are to no avail.  She
gives in, gets completely snowed by a kiss, and abandons the
honesty gambit.
     (JJ looked as appealing as I've seen her in these
scenes, BTW.  Dumb outfit, though.)

     SPINNING WHEEL KEEPS ON TURNIN';
     PROUD SHEILA KEEPS ON BURNIN'

     In the lab, with both labels off the tubes and stuck on
her hand, Sheila confronts a livid Mike the guard.  He was
waiting for a long time in room 207 and she never showed!
She tries to say that she had to change the assignments in
the computer.  There's a terminal at the nurses' station, he
tells her.  But it wouldn't look as suspicious if I did it
from the gene lab computer, she says.  Turning on the
seductive vixen voice, she asks Mike if he's angry with her.
Yes, and if she doesn't explain why she's in the lab, he
might have to report her.  Would you do that to pore widdle
me?  Let's hear it babe, Mike says grimly.  Sheila concocts
a story about passing by the lab when one of the techs got
an emergency call and asked Sheila to finish doing what the
tech had been doing, labeling the tubes.  (Mike earlier
spied the tubes and asked what they were for.  Sheila put
them in a rotating holder -- Eric's on the left, Ridge's on
the right.).  Now, as she spins her fib, Mike casually rocks
the holder back and forth, back and forth.  This is a big
clearance violation, he tells her.  She says if you report
us we'll all get in trouble!  Well, it couldn't have been
THAT important if the tech ran off and left you with these
samples, he says, but I didn't like you leaving me all
alone! --  and angrily gives the holder a spin, causing
Sheila to nearly go into hysterics.  You idiot, you
beanbrain, you imbecile!  she shrieks.  She orders him to
Get the hell out of here!  You're nuts!, Mike says, leaving
(at least one person's got a handle on her).  Alone, Sheila
tries to figure out which tube was Eric's and which was
Ridge's but she can't -- they're identical.  She soliloquies
"all I had to do was switch labels, and then it would have
WORKED!"  She looks at one tube, then the other.  Finally,
giving up, she puts Eric's label on one tube and Ridge's
label on the other.

     Getting Mike and Sheila into the lab was lame.
     Spinning the test tube holder was brilliant!
     So now, the paternity test could be right or wrong.
     WOW!

     I'd still lay odds on the test SAYING Ridge is the
father, so that Sheila thinks she's clear -- but the baby is
actually Eric's, and down the line, such a revelation would
come back to haunt everybody.  With Ridge the putative
father, Sheila can make blackmailing Lauren her top
priority, while Brooke sets sights on derailing Taylor and
Ridge.  Hoo-haw!

     Tune into tomorrow, when Sheila visits Jack and asks:

     "Can I have a few pointers on roulette?"



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|  James G. Acker                       Occasional Genius  |
|  jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov        Regular Swimmer    |
|                                                          |
|  "A good time to get revenge on your enemy is when he    |
|   is having an orgasm -- at least if you are a stump-    |
|   tailed macaque."                                       |
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