From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Some Peeves
Date: 9 Sep 92 15:56:57 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <43469@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk>, Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
> Peeve 1: Being unable to think of a more interesting subject line.
> 
> Peeve 2: Well, Claudio has just left the office to buy something for his
> dinner in the Peevacentre. We may never see him again. For, lurking amongst
> the shoppers is...the "Jesus Loves You" woman.
> 

Hahahahaha! I can beat this peeve out. I used to live with a "Jesus Loves You"
woman-in-training!

In my defence, I did *NOT* know she was a jesus freak until after she moved in.
I walked into her room one day, and realized she was the religious 
equivalent of a New Kid on the Block fan. There was religious stuff EVERYWHERE!
She had:
2 3-D holograms, one of Jesus and one of the Virgin (no kidding)
4 religious posters
8 bumper stickers with religoius sayings on them.
5 sets of rosary beads.
2 Jesus Loves you coffee mugs.

This amazed me, to say the least. I ahd no idea you could buy this stuff.

What was really peevesome was she would be on the phone ALL  the phucking
time, talking to her priest. You'd think she'd get tired of the same subject
but nooooo... I'd come in at any hour you care to think of and there'd
she be, gabbing away about some incredibly obscure point. This kept eating
away at me in a way Ripley from _Alien_ would instantly recognize, until one 
day I snapped.

I came in late one friday after a night of heavy boozing. It was two or three 
in the morning, and sure enough, there was the roomie, gabbing about Jesus.

I snapped. I can alter my voice so it sounds just like that devil dude in 
_The_Legend_, and so I did, put a weird bug eyed look on and said:

"Rozelyn Wizen, I am Satan, and I have come to drag you to to the
deepest stinking pits of Hell!"

The look on her face was, shall we say, priceless. I thought she was literally
going to die. As it was, she let out a shriek that *must* have been heard 
three streets down and bolted for her room. She locked the door, and I could 
hear her screaming (hell, I'm surprised people in Austrailia couldn't hear
her screaming) all the way at the other end of the house. I wandered down to
her room and said:

"I I took this earthly vessel some time ago. I have been watching you. I want 
you to be my Queen of the Damned, Mistress of All that is Foul and Evil!" (hey
I was on a roll, ok?)

She screamed something like:
"I command you in the name of God..."

"God has no power here. He abandoned you long ago,"I interrupted,"You are 
mine!" It was really difficult not to laugh through all this, especially 
since the other roomates were up at this time and were laughing themselves 
silly.

By this time I really believe she was scared witless, because all I could
hear from her room was screams and sobs. I went to bed, and passed out right 
away.

The next morning I got up, and found out that Roz had told the other roomates
(she was too scared to talk to me) that she was leaving. Unfortunatly they
convinced her to stay.

Peeve of the Story: Theatre students and Jesus freaks for roomates. Neither
has a sense of humour.


Mike
Newsgroups: alt.peeves