From: nsn@ee.mu.OZ.AU (Nick Nicholas)
Subject: Re: Why can't I have two shoulders?
Keywords: bizarre, upset, hobbits
Organization: Electronic and Electrical Engineering - University of Melbourne 
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 14:11:19 GMT

Why is 'hobbits' a keyword? Because it *can* :)

heard@franklin.cc.utas.edu.au (The Cute and Loveable George Heard) writes:

>G'day marvelous people...

*hug* hi yourself, ya big lug :)

>[]and I try to be a good shoulder and ear for friends, particularly when
>their problems spring from accepting what they truly feel...

And 'tis a good and noble service you provided, and I have benefited from
many a such person... and of course, you know that you come first, and if
things get too hairy, you can always walk. Easy to forget, but very very
true.

>   I left a good friend in need to try and help someone who probably didn't
>deserve my caring ears and shoulder. I really feel I have let someone down for
>no real good reason. I don't think either person read this newsgroup, I don't
>really know why I'm wasting bandwith sometimes. I just wish that I had two
>shoulders...

I *must* be bi when I can empathise with both of them [bitter smile].

I *hope* I don't know either of these folks; if I do, don't tell me...

The guy did deserve your time, George; he obviously didn't make much good
use of it, but it's easy for many people (particularly the ones who hang
around irc --- and I make no aspersions on any of us in saying so :) to
feel uncomfortable in such a situation. The poor dear was confused and
scared, so the rendes-vous didn't work out; them's the breaks, and for
you to tell him you're there for him was the right thing to do; eventually,
he may well be together enough to avail himself of your help properly. Give
him time, and if need be, let him go a bit, and not have him dependent on
daily doses of you. It can hurt, I know... but you're not much use to him
or yourself if he stresses you out.

As for the other guy... *sigh* I know what it's like, staring at an irc
terminal, waiting for something, *anything* to happen. It is the most
unimaginably hellish emptiness. And I'm sure I've irritated my fair share of 
people in my time, trying to milk support off them. And yet... you can't
be omnipresent, George. You had made a date; you could well have been out
of town. I can well guess how he may have felt, I've felt so often enough,
and yet... and yet you only have one self. Two shoulders, but both on the
same bod. Try not to fret it. Your friend will live to see another day
(ok, some don't live to see another day... I'm not going to understand
them, nor pretend to... just hope you don't run into one, because it's
a *very* bad trip to try and talk someone like that back into the light)
(flames from the formerly suicidal among you are not particularly welcome).
You will be there for him another day. And it gets gradually better...
for all of us. Even if we're too caught up to notice.

And remember that there is none k00ler on the hellish isle of Tassie than
laurie8! :)

Take care. Next year, in Jerusalem^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HMelbourne!

*******************************************************************************
 A freshman once observed to me:         Nick Nicholas am I, of Melbourne, Oz.
 On the edge of the Rubicon,             nsn@munagin.ee.mu.oz.au (IRC: nicxjo)
 men don't go fishing.                   Account expires end of February 1993.
   - Alice Goodman, _Nixon In China_     Mail me! Mail me! Mail me! Or don't!!