HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ar_mill@pavo.concordia.ca (MILLEN, ANDREW R.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: The Mime Problem
Keywords: Red Herring Extract
Date: 7 Apr 92 18:55:00 GMT
Organization: Concordia University
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

The following short article was taken from McGill U's humor magazine,
The Red Herring...I die laughing everytime I read it...


           Call for suggestions for the mime problem
           ----------------------------------------- 

  The McGill Task Force on Street Mimes is now accepting ideas to turn these 
useless pests into (relatively) functional members of society.  We are not
accepting proposals for merely disposing of these irritants (ie., throw them
into vats of pirhana and watch them scream) but want actual uses for them.
The task force has so far come up with the following ideas (note that those
followed by a star are destructive and are not approved of by the Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Mimes.)

Visual aids for the deaf              Vanna White's new replacement
Silent Auctioneers                    Emergency organ donors  *
Moving large panes of glass           Directing Traffic
Crash Dummies  *                      Models for Gargoyles
Milli Vanilli's backup singers        Window mannequins
Student Government                    Information counter employees
Lab animals for makeup companies  *   Lineups for otherwise uninteresting bars
Multi-purpose furniture               Dancers for rock videos
CHOM morning DJ's                     Untrained stuntsmen  *
Demonstrating to small children how to be seen but not heard
Flight Attendants                     Telephone operators
Mine clearance in Kuwait  *

If you have any other ideas for what to do with these pesky creatures, write
The Red Herring or call 555-MIME between the hours of 2 and 5 AM.  All
suggestions will be held in the strictest confidence.
                -------------------------------------
Better yet, why not post your original ideas and start an obnoxious thread?

  %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%              %%      \ | /      %%    H a p p i n e s s   i s . . .    %%%
%%    A. R. M.   %% |     - o    |  %%       /_ /_ |\| /_ / | /             %%
%%               %%  \__________/   %%       \/ \  | | \  > | >             %%  
%%%              %%                 %%    Front-row Tickets in Montreal!!! %%%
  %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: toney@kenyon.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re:the best Elephant joke going!
Date: 10 Apr 92 21:27:33 GMT
Organization: Kenyon College

What did the Elephant say when he first saw Adam for the
very first time???

Cute! But can you eat peanuts with it????

Dom
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re:hmmmm
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 19:34:53 GMT

In article <rgfuller.702055138@unix2.tcd.ie> rgfuller@unix2.tcd.ie (Rupert Fulle
r) writes:

>>>>>>>>a
>>>>>>>by                                                                 
>>>>>>cat                                                                 
>>>>>duke                                                                 
>>>>eagle                                                                 
>>>fellow                                                                 
>>genetic                                                                 
>happened                                                                 
idiotical

-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
From: naras-r@acsu.buffalo.edu (Ramprasad Narasimhan)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: OXYMORONS WANTED...
Date: 8 Apr 92 18:53:36 GMT
Organization: UB


 hi


	how about  LOGICAL OXYMORON ??

Isn't that one itself ??

RamP.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.tv.tiny-toon,aus.jokes,aus.jokes.d
From: ss1@bofur.unh.edu (The Rink)
Subject: Re: cmsg cancel <1992Apr10.212538.1736@nic.csu.net>
Organization: Turkey Hall
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 19:55:35 GMT

>>This message was cancelled from within rn.
>
>That's funny. If you have more of this jokes, can you please post
>a compilation of it?

I've already got the Canonical list of Cancelled Messages....
--
This message was cancelled from within rn.
This message has been cancelled.
This message has been cancelled by rn.  This is a public service broadcast.
This message does not really exist.
This message has been cancelled.  Please do not read it.
This message is not available at your system, due to weather interference.
This message was murdered by rn.  Investigations are taking place.
This message has been murdered.  The alleged killer is still on the loose.
This message has been murdered, and thus, is not currently available.
This message is a figment of your imagination.
This message has been terminated by news gremlins.
This message is outta here.
This message has been cancelled, and you are too late to read it, you stupid.

Any more I'm missing...?


-- 
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
|   Samuel Stoddard   a.k.a.   The Rink    |   I LOVE DISNEY -- and   | o o |
|       University of New Hampshire        |        proud of it!      |  U  |
| "All those email addresses!  Wow, I feel +---------+----------------+ \_/ |
|     important!  But such choices...."              |I'm a sig virus.+-----+
|  * ss1@kepler.unh.edu * s_stoddard@unhh.unh.edu *  |Copy me into your sig |
| * ss1@bofur.unh.edu * s_stoddard@hilbert.unh.edu * |  and join the fun!   |
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
From: forda@gtephx.UUCP (Andrew Ford @ AGCS, Phoenix, Arizona)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: A found riddle!
Date: 8 Apr 92 22:59:50 GMT
Organization: gte

In article <1992Apr2.183354.11399@newscan.canada.sun.com>, davidbw@superjack.Canada.Sun.COM (David B. Wadsworth  Sun Toront) writes:
> thousAnd
> 
> 
>     ^        David Wadsworth (davidbw@Canada.Sun.COM)
>    /|\	     Sun Microsystems of Canada     
>   /---\	     100 Renfrew Drive,                      "Putting Canada First"   
>     |	     Markham, Ontario, CANADA
> 
> >I found this riddle while cleaning out my filing cabinet.  Don't
> >remember where I got it from but I thought I would post it.
> 
> 
> >What's the first number in the English language that uses the letter
> >A"?

One hundred and one.


> >
> 
> 
> >Give it a try.
> >I'll post the answer tomorrow.
> 
> >Rob C.


-- 
It's a wonderful feeling when you voted for the winner, but the time to vote for
the guy who "could win" is past: vote your conscience - Marrou/Lord in 92!
Andrew Ford INTERNET: gtephx!forda@asuvax.eas.asu.edu
            UUCP: !uunet!samsung!romed!asuvax!gtephx!forda
From: randy@rls.UUCP (Randall L. Smith)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Pittsburgh Drivers Test
Keywords: farse, comedy, jokes, humor
Date: 6 Apr 92 16:32:03 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: The Internet

I recently got question number seven as my fortune cookie.  Maybe there
*is* something to fortunes.:-)  It was labeled the Pittsburgh Drivers
Test (PDT).  Out of curiosity I greped through the cookie file for any
other references to the PDT.  I only found question number eight. 

} (7) The car directly in front of you has a flashing right tail light
}     but a steady left tail light.  This means;
} 
} 	(a) one of the tail lights is broken; you should blow your horn
} 	    to call the problem to the driver's attention.
} 	(b) the driver is signaling a right turn.
} 	(c) the driver is signaling a left turn.
} 	(d) the driver is from out of town.
} 
} The correct answer is (d).  Tail lights are used in some foreign
} countries to signal turns. 
} 
} (8) Pedestrians are;
} 
} 	(a) irrelevant.
} 	(b) communists.
} 	(c) a nuisance.
} 	(d) difficult to clean off the front grille.
} 
} The correct answer is (a).  Pedestrians are not in cars, so they are
} totally irrelevant to driving; you should ignore them completely.

Personally I think (c) and (d) should get partial credit. :-)

Are there other questions and/or does anybody have the other questions
to this comical test?  Thanks for your help.

Cheers!

- randy

randy@rls.uucp  <backbone>!osu-cis!rls!randy  rls!randy@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu
It's a fax from your dog, Mr. Dansworth.  It looks like your cat.  - Larson
Xref: sparky rec.humor:16323 rec.humor.d:1413
From: marc@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (marc)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
Subject: Jewish Jokes Wanted
Date: 13 Apr 92 19:17:13 GMT
Followup-To: poster
Organization: Purdue University

Does anyone out there have a list of jewish jokes?

marc

marc@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
(still waiting for that perfect .sig)
From: pankaj@coos.dartmouth.edu (Pankaj K. Dugar)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Army songs
Keywords: coco-cola,pay
Date: 7 Apr 92 05:04:48 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH

They say that in the army 
the pay is mighty fine
they give you fifty dollars
but they take back forty-nine

THey say that in the army
the drinks are mighty fine
they say it's coco-cola
but they give you turpentine

They say that in the army
the food is mighty fine
they say it's spicy chicken
but they give you rotten swine.

The chorus as I've heard is:

Colonel, I wanna go
"Where the hell do you wanna go?"
Colonel, I wanna go home.

-Pankaj.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: washburn@jupiter.sun.csd.unb.ca (Kim Washburn CSD)
Subject: Re: "Make like a..."
Organization: University of New Brunswick
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 16:44:38 GMT

In article <1992Apr10.170046.1959@yogi.hsc.ucalgary.ca> steve@yogi.hsc.ucalgary.ca writes:
>>>>>>>Make like the wind and blow.
>>>>>>Make like a tree and leave.
>>>>>>Make like a fetus and head out.
>>>>>>I'm off like a dirty shirt.
>>>>>I'm off like a prom dress.
>>>>Make like a banana and split.
>>>>Make a hockey player and get the puck outta here.
>>>Make like a drum and beat it.
>> Make like horse shit and hit the trail.
>Make like a bird a flock off.
Like a foreskin i'm off.

-- 
Kim Washburn
University of New Brunswick
Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
INTERNET washburn@unb.ca
From: ewm@mdavcr.mda.ca (Eric W. Mitchell)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Humorous euphamisms for screwing...
Date: 9 Apr 92 20:54:02 GMT
Organization: MacDonald Dettwiler, 13800 Commerce Parkway, Richmond, BC, Canada  V6V 2J3


Doing battle with the purple helmeted warrior.


-- 
==========================================================================
Eric Mitchell                      |   "We're Screwed!!!"
Ph. 604-278-3411 Fax. 604-278-2936 |
email  !uunet!van-bc!mdavcr!ewm    |	- Spaced Invaders.
    or ewm%mda.ca@wimsey.bc.ca     |--------------------------------------
    or ewm@mda.ca		   |     Standard disclaimers apply.
==========================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: chappell@mercury.stat.wisc.edu (Rick Chappell)
Subject: Re: Oxymorons wanted...
Organization: Dept. of Statistics, Univ. of Wisconsin
Distribution: rec.humor
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 92 16:44:32 GMT

civil engineer?
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: iplt_ltd@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Ilana Plutzer)
Subject: Purity Test?
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 92 22:15:30 GMT

		Does anyone have the 500 question purity test on file that 
could possibly send it to me. Thanx.
From: vanor@vax1.mankato.msus.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Elephant jokes wanted
Date: 8 Apr 92 18:28:21 GMT
Article-I.D.: vax1.1992Apr8.122822.1677
Organization: Mankato State University

Hello, could who ever posted the list of elephant jokes eather repost them or
send them to me -Vanor 
I wish this realy was a cartone -= Roger Rabit
From: jensting@ee.ic.ac.uk (Jens Tingleff)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: steve wright jokes...
Keywords: Steve Wright
Date: 13 Apr 92 09:25:07 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Elec. Eng. Imperial College, London

A joke from his winter -92 appearance in London (a bit shorter here..)

I went skiing recently. As I was going up in the lift, this man next to me
said 
	"this is the first time I have been skiing for 25 years"
	Oh, yes, how come ? 
	"I was in prison" 
	erhm, what for ?
	"I pushed a total stranger of the top of a ferris wheel!"
	OH, I remember you!

-- 
Mr Jens Tingleff, M.Sc.EE. PhD student at 
     Imperial College, Dept of EE,  Exhibition Road, London SW7 2BT, England
jensting@titan.ee.ic.ac.uk or jensting@ee.ic...  (used to be jensting@diku.dk) 
 E: "Concentration Camp Erhard? HAHAHAHA" T: "I thought you'd react like that"
From: oldman@coos.dartmouth.edu (Prakash Das)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: lots and lots of money???
Date: 16 Apr 92 03:45:22 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH

In article <1992Apr14.085518.6782@muddcs.claremont.edu> awells@jarthur.claremont.edu (Adam "Servo" Wells) writes:
>I have a question for people not in the United States.
>
>When I post an article, i get the following message ...
>
>This program posts news to thousands of machines throughout the entire
>civilized world.  Your message will cost the net hundreds if not thousands of
>dollars to send everywhere.  Please be sure you know what you are doing.
>
>Are you absolutely sure that you want to do this? [ny]
>
>So, what I was wondering, is, if someone were to post from Italy, for
>example, does it say, "Your message will cost the net millions, if not
>billions, of lira to send everywhere"?
>
>Pondering the complexity of existence,
>
Well, the lira would have to be converted to dollars; then tax,
financial and bank experts would have to be hired for the 
unavoidable legalities; then the government takes over, at 
which point it gets all entangled and meshed up in government
regulations, bureaucracy, red tape, ...., you name it. So,
I guess posting from Italy has to involve months, and years
if not decades of careful planning, strategy, and homework,
unlike some of us here.

Or, one could go to Italy to find out.....

Afraid, just couldn't avoid it!
:-) :-) :-) :-)
(Note smiley faces!)

-PD
From: 00jdbecktel@bsu-ucs.uucp
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: hmmmm
Date: 13 Apr 92 19:02:36 GMT

In article <apfhbvyb@cck.coventry.ac.uk>, lah014@cck.coventry.ac.uk (Richard Marshall) writes:
> In article <1992Apr6.193453.23066@venice.sedd.trw.com> gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore) writes:
>>In article <rgfuller.702055138@unix2.tcd.ie> rgfuller@unix2.tcd.ie (Rupert Fulle
>>r) writes:
>>
>>>>>>>>>>a
>>>>>>>>>by                                                                 
>>>>>>>>cat                                                                 
>>>>>>>duke                                                                 
>>>>>>eagle                                                                 
>>>>>fellow                                                                 
>>>>genetic                                                                 
>>>happened                                                                 
>>idiotical
> jokes
kin
						-Sherlock
Xref: sparky rec.humor:16458 alt.fan.monty-python:3040
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
From: stanger@otago.ac.nz (Nigel Stanger)
Date: 15 Apr 92 14:20:01 +1300
Organization: University of Otago, Dunedin, New Zealand

In article <1992Apr13.235905.57504@yuma.acns.colostate.edu>, 
maxwell@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Mark Story) writes:
> In article <3iq6iB1w165w@goonsquad.Spies.COM> bbs.groon@goonsquad.Spies.COM writes:
>>maxwell@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Mark Story) writes:
>>
>>> In article <Pyw3iB2w164w@arghouse.UUCP> jbreen@arghouse.UUCP (Magnum) writes:
>>> >dougger@bluemoon.rn.com (Doug Stevenson) writes:
>>> >
>>> >> dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Korth) writes:
>>> >> 
>>> >> > In <1992Apr08.060333.45618@yuma.acns.colostate.edu> maxwell@lamar.ColoSt
>>> >> > 
>>> >> > >In article <dragon.702618622@camelot> dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matth
>>> >> > >>In <1992Apr06.051634.41805@yuma.acns.colostate.edu> maxwell@lamar.Colo
>>> >> > >>
>>> >> > >>>In article <1992Apr6.010309.10819@nic.unh.edu> ss1@kepler.unh.edu (Th
>>> >> > >>>>>>>I've told you once...
>>> >> > >>>>>> No, you haven't.
>>> >> > >>>>>Yes I have.
>>> >> > >>>>No, I haven't.
>>> >> > >>>This isn't an argument, it's just contradiction!
>>> >> > >>No it isn't.
>>> >> > >You just contradicted me!
>>> >> > No I didn't!
>>> >> This is futile!
>>> >but verrrry interestink
>>> No, I am afraid that it is quite boring.
>>Wrong again. This is _exciting_. That'll be $5, please.
> That was never five minutes!

You're quite right! It was five dollars instead! And I'm afraid
that now, because of inflation and sales tax, you now owe me
$567,590,192,761,298,762 in small change. Come on, pay up!

Nigel who's callin' 'round da boyz to come an' break yer kneecaps.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Stanger,                  Internet: stanger@otago.ac.nz
University of Otago,            Phone: +64 3 479-8179
Dunedin, NEW ZEALAND.           Fax:   +64 3 479-8311
"BIFF!! KAPOW!! ZOWIE!!" -- Batman TV series
From: ajs@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Alan Silverstein)
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 18:47:15 GMT
Subject: Re: A found riddle!
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: rec.humor

Polock answer (that's OK, I'm a polock):  ahhh...

Therefore, it's the first number.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ruelle@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Travis Ruelle)
Subject: Re: Request for Star Trek drinking games
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 16:20:00 GMT

In article <1992Apr16.152244.17186@fs7.ece.cmu.edu> farmer@henry.ece.cmu.edu (Alan A. Farmer) writes:
>Does anyone have any of those ST drinking game files lying around?
>Old Trek, New Trek, I'll take anything.  It looks like I'm heading
>to an all night Trek and BEvERage thing tonight, and those games
>looked strangely fun.
>
>Email rather than post them, please, unless a lot of other people
>want to see them again.

	Post, please...chances are I speak for more than myself...
From: widyono@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Dan Widyono)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: How fat is she?
Date: 16 Apr 92 03:12:57 GMT
Reply-To: widyono@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Dan Widyono)
Organization: UPenn of Phila, PA: BioEngineering Dept.

[Another line bites the dust, WOOF!]

Previously, syspb@smartstar.com (Paul) wrote:
>My ex-wife is so fat, whenever she goes for a walk,
>it registers 6.5 on the Richter scale.

Listen to Weird Al Yankovic's FAT song.  Dontcha call me pudgy portly!
If I eat one more pie a' la mode, I'm gonna need my own zip code! Ham on,
Ham on, Ham on whole wheat- alright!

Cheers and jeers,
Dan

--
Daniel Widyono					BE PreMed UPenn, Philly, PA
Chord On Blues, Penn Band (Cornet 2)		widyono@eniac.seas.upenn.edu
Would you call my name, if I saw you in heaven?  I must be strong and carry on,
for I know I don't belong... here in heaven.		-Eric Clapton
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: me@asmodeus.u.washington.edu (My Account)
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Organization: University of Washington
Distribution: na
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1992 12:32:15 GMT

I believe that the ocf.berkeley.edu cluster of machines has a complete script  
for this under /usr/local/Library/python

If any of the ocf.berkeley.edu users could take a peek, and maybe post it, we  
wouldn't have to make a thread out of it.

-Cohort
From: gvg@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Greg Goebel)
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 14:35:27 GMT
Subject: Re: Communists and sperms
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Loveland, CO
Newsgroups: rec.humor

>
>    ****** ALL RIGHT, COMMIES.... FLAME ME ************
>

I thought they were extinct ...

   Wile E. Coyote at the Acme Online Support Organization For The SouthWest
--
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|                               DISCLAIMER                                   |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|   Who cares what I think?  I don't take MYSELF seriously, why should you?  |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Greg Goebel                             NET:     gvg@hpislx                |
| Hewlett-Packard                         HP DESK: gvg(hpislx) / HP0900 / UX |
| MSO Marketing                           PHONE:   Telnet/303 679-3424       |
| POB 301 / MS-CU312 / Loveland CO 80539  FAX:     Telnet/303 679-5957       |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Xref: sparky alt.sex.wizards:987 rec.humor:16085
From: vinniej@sco.COM (One Sick Individual)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.wizards,rec.humor
Subject: Re: Sex at Disneyland?
Date: Thu, 09 Apr 92 18:47:20 GMT
Organization: The Santa Cruz Operation, Inc.


In article <1992Apr7.030045.27438@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> roll@skybridge.SCL.CWRU.Edu (Kevin 'Rat' Roll) writes:
>In article <lcnj7cp@lynx.unm.edu> evilted@vesta.unm.edu (The Semi-Christ) writes:
>>Ok, Mickey Mouse goes to his lawyer and tells him he wants to divorce
>>......
>Of course you've heard that Snow White was fired from Disneyland. She
>threw Pinocchio on the ground, sat on his face, and screamed "Lie to me!
>Lie to me!"

Do you know why they didn't build Disneyland in Japan?

Because everyone was too short to get on the good rides.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Vinnie Jordan                           The Santa Cruz Operation, Inc.
E-Mail: vinniej@sco.COM                 Software Inspector II
Work Phone: (408) 425-7222 ext. 4418 
"These are my opinions: I hope you don't like them!!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: elephant jokes
From: rivero@mdcbbs.com
Date: 6 Apr 92 14:42:52 GMT
Organization: M&E (Division of EDS), Cypress CA
Nntp-Posting-User: lems

In article <robinson.15@odie.ee.wits.ac.za>, robinson@odie.ee.wits.ac.za (Michael Robinson) writes:
> Dear all
> 
> Please feel free to mail more elephant jokes to me, as well as an assessment 
> of the ordering of some of the jokes.  Please use e-mail since my news is 
> erratic.  Please anyone, also mail me an up to date list of things you call 
> stupid people, since I lost that thread.
> 

  What are the dark spots between elephants toes?
Slow natives!

What do elephants use for tampons?
Sheep!



<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
|  Michael Rivero rivero@mdcbbs.com Homo Cyberneticus-Computational Man  |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bianc@next00csc.wam.umd.edu (WierdnesS)
Subject: Re: Sam Kinison's last words
Organization: Workstations at Maryland, University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 00:34:04 GMT

In article <1992Apr11.160531.25908@fcom.cc.utah.edu>  
knechod@stacc.med.utah.edu (Kevin Nechodom) writes:
> My apologations to anyone offended by my lack of sensitivity.  I
> really got a kick out of the guy.
> 
> What were Sam Kinison's last words, right before his fatal car crash?
> 
> "AAHH!!  AAHH!  AAAAHHHH-H-H-H-H!!!!"
> 
> [Kevin, you're sick!]
> 
> 
> 
> 
I saw Kinison on SNL a few years back he asked what JESUS's last words  
were and then fell to the ground, hitting the floor:


(hit,hit, hit) AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(hit, hit, hit) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(hit, hit, hit) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

('twas 'cause o' this and some jokes about crack that the the church lady  
refused to appear next time he hosted)



LATER DUDERS!


BIANC!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: skydiver@dispates.u.washington.edu (People have real lives?)
Subject: Re: Steven Wright Jokes...add on!!
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 13:00:44 GMT

"I would tell you about sado-necro-beastiality, but that would be beating a
   dead horse."

-Cohort
From: Bob.Underdown@f1040.n391.z1.FidoNet.Org (Bob Underdown)
Sender: UUCP@p0.f1060.n391.z1.FidoNet.Org