HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Celestial Seasonings
Date: 6 Jan 1993 07:30:28 GMT
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department
Reply-To: gm@apple.rcd.com (George Martin)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.12.117

derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne) writes:
  +
  +I heard that Celesial Seasonings Tea was the result of a bar bet between 
  +Two science fiction writers to see who could come up with the most
  +convincing Herbal beverage.  I think it was between Douglas Adams and 
  +L.Ron.Hubbard.   [rest of plausible story deleted.]

George Harrison had to start Celestial Seasonings when he lost a
bet to Ringo on whether the public would think that it was Paul
or John was dead.  It's true, it's in the liner notes of _Past
Masters:  Volume IV_.


Terry "Or just ask Charles Lasner" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division   | Internet:  TWChan@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory      | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720  | Yeah, right.
From: popec@unkaphaed.gbdata.com (William C. Barwell)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: CD Legends
Date: Mon, 04 Jan 93 03:42:54 GMT
Organization: Unka Phaed's UUCP Thingy, Houston, TX

dannyb@panix.com (Daniel Burstein) writes:

> a **VERY REAL** problem with cds:  In thge old days of vinyl analog
> recordings, when **they** wanted to send secret messages to their agents,
> **they** would place them backwards on the record.  So, for example, the
> secret news that "John was dead" was, in fact, brought out to the public.
> 
> But now, with CDs, **they** can use this medium securely.  I've tried to
> play my CDs backwards, but nothing happens.  I've held them upside down,
> reversed teh (ac) plug, even pressed the buttons in reverse order.  But
> nothing seesm to work.
> 
> Hmm, maybe I should really be posting this to "alt.conspiracy" <g>
> 
> any suggestions on how to play a cd in reverse?
> 
> <dannyb@panix.com>


I can think of no way that would not involve reprogramming the ROM that 
controls the electronics of a CD player. Far beyond our skills.  
  What you can do though, is copy your CD to a casseette, Open the 
cassette shell, take the tape out, reverse and then put the cassette 
shell back together.  Now when you plat it it will be in reverse.  You 
will probably have to play with the tracking to get a decent output.
  Option #2.  If you have a sound board in you computer, you could dump 
it to Hard Disk and the using your soundcard's software, reverse the 
'sample'.   A stereo CD by the way takes about 670 megs of hard disk 
space, at a 44 sampling rate.

Have fun.

--
popec@unkaphaed.gbdata.com (William C. Barwell)
Unka Phaed's UUCP Thingy, Houston, TX, (713) 481-3763
1200/2400/9600/14400 v.32bis/v.42bis
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dtasman@NMSU.edu (Dan Tasman)
Subject: Re: Amusing street names
Organization: New Mexico State University
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 21:20:42 GMT

kasprj@isaac.its.rpi.edu (Jim Kasprzak) writes:

:  Some street names that can be found in just about every city in New York:
:  
:  Fulton
:  Erie
:  Clinton (furrfu, they didn't even wait for his inauguration)
:  Hudson
:  Cuomo
   ^^^^^
   Maybe in a few years ...

:  Mohawk
:  Iroquois

In Western New York, just about every town has a "Buffalo Road", but "Buffalo  
Road" in Buffalo is a one block alley on the South Side.  

On another note, I've got the folowing imponderables about street names ...

* Does any city have a "Martin Luther King Boulevard" in a neighborhood that  
isn't predominantly African-American?  If so, was the surrounding neighborhood  
opposed to the name change?  Did the neighborhood change solely because of the  
new name?

* Owing to all the Martin Luther King Boulevards throughout the Unites States,  
is there a "Malcom X Boulevard" anywhere?  

* Amherst, an upscale suburb of Buffalo, has horribly long and unpronouncable  
German names mixed in with the typical "elegant" British and suburbany street  
names commonly seen throughout the town.  A typical subdivision in Amherst  
might have the following streets .... Carriage Hill Way, Windsor Hill Close,  
Oak Post Road, Arbordale Drive and Schleckenhauser Court.  I have some theories  
about historicl property owners, old streets that were covered by modern  
subdivisions and so on, but still ... 

* How did "Avenue Street" in Toronto get it's name?


: ------------------------------------------------------------------
:      __  Live from Capitaland, heart of the Empire State...
:  ___/  | Jim Kasprzak, computer operator @ RPI, Troy, NY, USA
: /____ *|          he who refuses to do nonsense  
:      \_|          is doomed to talk arithmetic.
:       ====  e-mail: kasprj@rpi.edu or kasprzak@mts.rpi.edu 

--
   Dan Tasman                                       dtasman@dante.nmsu.edu
                                                     molson@rever.nmsu.edu
   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
   "I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree
    Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
                                                                Ogden Nash
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: SNAFU list
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 17:00:22 GMT

figmo	fuck it, got my orders
fujimo	fuck you jack i'm moving on

Jon "JFC ==Jesus F. Christ, or is it J. Terry Christ?" Papai
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: kasprj@isaac.its.rpi.edu (Jim Kasprzak)
Subject: Re: Etymological matters (was Re: African-American-top)
Reply-To: kasprj@rpi.edu
Organization: The Big Wedge 
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 19:56:50 GMT

In article <1993Jan11.234415.28946@news.cs.indiana.edu>, "Paul Purdom" <pwp@cs.indiana.edu> writes:
|> cel@nsscmail.att.com (clayton EDward LEIHY iii) writes:
|> 
|> >If I can trace at least once of my ancestor as being Egyptian,
|> >can I call myself an Afro-American??  (for the geography-impaired,
|> >Egypt is in the north(eastern) part of the African continent.
|> 
|> During the Carter administration there was a ruling that any one
|> who thought of himself as an Afro-American could call himself one.
|> (I sure that if I have oversimplified this ruling someone will
|> fill in the details.)
 
 When the wondrous bureaucracy of the US government was busy passing laws
to determine just who was and was not an African-American, Bill Cosby had
a nice routine which included this memorable quote:
 
 "The law says that if your ancestry is at least one-sixteenth black, 
you're officially an African-American. Okay. Let's say that I (obviously
black, you can see it) go to a party with fifteen white people. Somebody
had better change the music."
------------------------------------------------------------------
     __  Live from Capitaland, heart of the Empire State...
 ___/  | Jim Kasprzak, computer operator @ RPI, Troy, NY, USA
/____ *|          he who refuses to do nonsense  
     \_|          is doomed to talk arithmetic.
      ====  e-mail: kasprj@rpi.edu or kasprzak@mts.rpi.edu
From: andor@inode.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: CD LEGENDS
Date: 11 Jan 93 09:05:11 EST
Reply-To: andor@inode.com
Distribution: world
Organization: inode BBS, Usenet Access for NYC (212-679-9146)

 -=> Quoting Alewis@gibbs.oit.unc.edu to News <=-

 Al> the bone), there is the example of the old Dead standard, Dark Star. 
 Al> First appearance, two minutes and spare change (on the first album, I
 Al> think).  Later version, twenty minutes plus (the European tour album?).
 Al> No change in the words (four lines), just sort of musical whacking off

Yes, but ALL of Grateful Dead tunes sound alike, at least in concert:

20 	minutes of tuning up.
5 	minutes of song
20 	minutes of jam

repeat for 2 hours.


... Reality-ometer:  [\........]  Hmmph!  Thought so...
--- Blue Wave/QWK v2.10
#! rnews 6
From: phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Rush!Rush!Rush!
Date: 7 Jan 93 19:33:02 GMT
Organization: Famed Parquet Floor

In article <28254@dog.ee.lbl.gov> TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan) writes:
>
>Terry "Does anybody know the name of some BAD groups?" Chan
>--
Blue Cheer.  Vanilla Fudge. The Electric Prunes, who win the pretention/talent
chase with their "Mass in D minor".  Or maybe B minor.  About all the three-
guys-and-a-bank-of-Marshalls groups except Hendrix and Clapton.  Most groups
founded after maybe 1971.  Quite a long list.

phil
-- 
|play: phil@rahul.net
|work: (Under Construction)              | Phil Gustafson 408-286-1749      |
|         Opinions outside attributed material are mine alone.              |
|        Satirical matter is not necessarily identified as such.            |
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dolonsgh@unix1.tcd.ie (DL)
Subject: Conspiracy_Theory theory
Keywords: conspiracy
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 16:19:23 GMT

I am wondering why conspiracy theories make such good stories-what the
attraction is that makes people almost want to believe them.

Some ideas:
-CT's help people deal with randomness by giving a pattern to seemingly
patternless events.
-they give people a vivacious "buzz" from supposed knowledge of secret
or illegal actions.
-real life drama?
-a need for scapegoats-someone to blame for wars,depressions,etc.
-paranoia?

The point is,conspiracy theories,like all folklore,say more about the
people who tell them than the people they are told about.

Any suggestions?

Donal O Loingsigh
dolonsgh@unix1.tcd.ie


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: styri@balder.nta.no (YuNoHoo)
Subject: Kidneynapping report
Organization: Norwegian Telecom Research
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 93 23:28:40 GMT

Here's another heartbreaking report from the organ rip-off market.
The story is translated from Norwegian and rewritten by me, and it
was translated from russian by the Norwegian paper Dagbladet.
But, I did read it in the paper - honestly.


KIDNAPPED FOR SELLING A HART

Moscow (Dagbladet) Thursday, Jan. 7th, 1993

Russian television have documented that healthy people have been
abducted and operated.

"I was plainly kidnapped by an ambulance on a Moscow street.
 Two male nurses forced me to a secret clinic down town. 
 I was tied to the operating table, but I managed to escape,"
tells a Moscowite on russian tv.

The man was anonymous and was only filmed from behind, but the
journalists managed to find the private company 'Ekomed'. The
company is founded by one of the largest hospitals, 'Sklifosovskij'
and is selling kidneys and hearts to the western world. The
management at Sklifosovskij refuse any knowledge of Ekomed, but
the journalists have documents that proves the connection.

"I spotted at least three surgeons working in the operating theatre.
 I was told that I would be submitted to kidney surgery, but I knew
 that I was fit as a fiddle," told the man that was abducted. He
managed to escape and went straight to the police. He was, however,
unable to find the way back to the secret clinic.

According to Ekomed documents they sell 600 kidneys annually. The
Sklifosovskij hospital, however, does not report that many deaceased.

Police colonel Aleksej Dubjagin states that it's likely that innocent
people are kidnapped, forced to donate a kidney and killed. He assumes
that there are more than one company doing this in order to sell
kidneys to the western world.

[interview with Dubjagin continues, telling us that 4 persons
 disappear from the streets of Moscow every day. I just love
 his final statement...]

"A person giving a public statement about this kind of business
 will most certainly loose his job. [...]"

------------

I feel sorry for the police colonel who probably will loose his
job. (Ok, maybe something got lost in the two translations.)

---
YuNoHoo "nuff quoted for one day"
From: twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Amusing Street Name Consequnces
Date: 9 Jan 1993 17:55:25 GMT
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department
Reply-To: TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.12.117

Ted "None dare call me Terry" Frank writes:

  +Ted "why isn't there an alt.wendys?" Frank

There could be.  This sounds like a call for Joel Furr.  Cross-
post to alt.config?


Terry "But shouldn't it be alt.fan.wendys?" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division   | Internet:  TWChan@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory      | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720  | Yeah, right.
From: twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: FAQ These DIFFS
Date: 4 Jan 1993 18:19:15 GMT
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department
Reply-To: TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.12.117


284c274,276
< T. Nobody came up with any good stuff on the origins of Daylight Savings Time.
---
> T. Nobody came up with any good stuff on the origins of Daylight Saving Time.
> Fb.A newspaper spellchecker sub'd "In the African-American" for "in the black."
322,324c315,316
<    that 'Lost in Space' was better than 'Star Trek' [TOS] comes close.)
< U. IBM ordered a whole bunch of "THIMK" signs; but printer changed to "THINK".
---
>    that 'Lost in Space' was better than 'Star Trek' [TOS] came close.]
> U. IBM ordered a whole bunch of "THIMK" games; but printer changed to "THINK".
421a414
> T. There was a version involving bar codes which was a hoax.
534a527
> F. In great desperation, mother lifts car off of trapped child.
600c593
<    [Also said of Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Sammy Davis, Jr, Robert Redford,
---
>    [Others: Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Sammy Davis, Jr, Robert Redford,
610c603
< F. Soupy Sales was canned for telling kids to send him pieces of paper with
---
> F.*Soupy Sales was canned for telling kids to send him pieces of paper with
612c605
< T. He was suspended for a week.
---
> T.*He was suspended for a week.
614a608
> [The alt.drugs FAQ list has lots of interesting info.]
630a625,626
> F.*Banana peels and peanut shells contain hallucinogenic substances.
> F.*"Street" acid (LSD) is frequently cut with strychine.
778a775
> F. Number of stars on _Playboy_ cover is # of times Hef banged the centerfold.
780d776
< 
909a906,907
> F. Queen Victoria so loved "Alice..." she requested all L.C.'s books. Was
>    ticked with copy of _Symbolic Logic_.
917a916
> F. The US has 70% of world's lawyers.
924c923
< Fb.Power windows in cars trap kids' limbs, necks.  Kill or maim them.
---
> Ft.Power windows in cars trap kids' limbs, necks.  Kill or maim them.
963a963
> Tb.There are some lights w/sensors for emergency vehicles.
990,991c990,992
< F. Someone never gets tickets because his plates say "NONE".
< U. Freon can be used to break Kryptonite locks.
---
> F. Someone never gets tickets because his license plates say "NONE".
> Tb.Freon can be used to break Kryptonite locks.
> Tb.No self-respecting car thief would use it though.
1039a1041,1047
> T. Many variations on above with urine samples in bottles and bags of garbage.
> Tb.In WW2, Russians fed dogs under tanks, then released them in battle with
>    anti-tank explosives having an antenna-like trigger on their backs.
> Tb.Dogs ran under wrong ones, German tanks didn't smell like Russian tanks.
> T. Most Russian tanks were diesel, most German ones weren't.
> T. German high command counters by spreading rabies rumors, encouraging
>    soldiers to shoot every dog they see.
--
Energy and Environment Division   | Internet:  TWChan@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory      | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720  | Yeah, right.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.politics.correct,alt.usage.english
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: "Back in the African-American"
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 07:27:56 GMT

In article <1993Jan04.060338.27349@rose.com> bill.dehaan@rose.com (bill dehaan) writes:
>I've seen it. In the Toronto Star (local paper), there was a retraction
>a few months back because the city budget had been reported as trying
>"to get back in the African-Canadian"; it was supposed to be "back in
>the black", of course.
>
>However, I expect that this was more likely the result of an automated
>thesaurus function, rather than a deliberate attempt by a writer to be
>politically correct to the level you've described (although I expect
>that the person programming the thesaurus was probably PC).

This is the third or fourth paper I've now seen it attributed to.  I'm
beginning to suspect that this is becoming another "That oughta hold the
little bastards" or "That'd be the butt, Bob"--one of those things that
everyone swears they've personally seen, but never actually happened.

I know that I've seen local papers report this anecdote amusingly about
other papers.  Could it be that someone saw the joke and thought it was
an actual correction?  Has anyone actually *seen* the original article
that the alleged correction was made for?

One of these days, I'll do a database search for this phrase.  I bet I
find a bunch of stories reporting the anecdote, but never any actual
occurrences.  I'd mark this one "Fb."  

Ted "I will if you move that damn cat" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Re: African-American-top
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: AFU Missing Persons Bureau
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 17:06:02 GMT


In article <CINDY.93Jan7213834@solan10.solan.unit.no>, cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:

|>How often do i have to post so people know i'm not dead?

Daily. Bang! Next case.
--

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dsegard@nyx.cs.du.edu (Daniel Segard)
Subject: Re: scientology
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 93 16:31:26 GMT


       I have talked to a person who worked for a B.Dalton's store in
California who said that "people" would come into the store and buy cases
of L.Ron Hubbard's books still in the boxes.  He also remarked that they
would often get in boxes of the book which appeared to have been shipped
previously to other stores (Waldenbooks for example) which did seem to
indicate that "people" were buying cases of these books from other chains
as well.  Finding an address sticker for B.Dalton's over an address
sticker for a Waldenbooks store with a "received (date)" stamp on it tends
to be a clue....

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: davew@willow03.cray.com (Dave Wagner)
Subject: Re: googol (was google??)
Originator: davew@willow03
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 12 Jan 93 14:27:29 CST


> 
> Barth "I could think of literally GOOGLES of clever things to say here, but
> I will refrain" Richards
> 
Oh come now.  I've told you a googol times, don't exaggerate.
-- 
Dave Wagner                               "Tongue-tied and twisted,
davew@cray.com , uunet!cray!davew          just an earth-bound misfit, I"
(612) 683-5393                                  -- Pink Floyd
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:32625 rec.arts.startrek.misc:13272
From: mrk@gvgspd.gvg.tek.com (Michael R. Kesti)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: Re: Sex, the Final Fronti
Date: 6 Jan 93 02:40:12 GMT
Organization: Grass Valley Group, Grass Valley, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: gvgspd.gvg.tek.com

In article <1993Jan5.160226.21259@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
                    PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:

>	The club wants a judge to order all copies destroyed,
>noting that the lawsuit has made the $1.75 comic book a
>collector's item at more than $10.

I think somebody is missing the big picture here.  They certainly won't be
ALL destroyed, and the value of those that remain will certainly rise!

-- 
============================================================================
Michael Kesti  Grass Valley Group, Inc. | "And like, one and one don't make
    mrk@gvgspd.GVG.TEK.COM              |  two, one and one make one."
    !tektronix!gvgpsa!gvgspd!mrk        |         - The Who, Bargain
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: enterprise vs. love boat
Organization: The Ohio State University
 <15821@hq.hq.af.mil>
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 20:41:44 GMT

I got to thinking the other day about the amazing similarities
between Star Trek: The Next Generation and the Love Boat.
This has to be more than just coincidence.

_Category_				_ST:TNG_	_Love Boat_

Ship					Enterprise	Princess CL.

Bald Captain				Picard		Steubing

Black guy				Bartender	LaForge

Goofy significant character		Gopher		Data

Slut					Julie		Troi

Doctor					(name?)		Crusher

Annoying child on ship			Captains	Doctors
					daughter	son

Horny frequent celebrity guest		Charo		Lwaxana


ObSimilarity:  The new troll character in _Hagar the Horrible_
looks amazingly like the Don Martin characters in _Mad_.

-J.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com (Craig Becker)
Subject: Re: FIZZIES (was: Re: Cheese popcorn)
Originator: jlpicard@woofer.austin.ibm.com
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 16:13:09 GMT
Reply-To: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com
Organization: IBM Object Technology Products


schumach@stortek.com (Kurt Schumacher) writes:
> When I was in grade school, we had an annual field trip to the local zoo.
> One year, we were sitcking branches through the fence at the camel enclosure,
> watching them eat the leaves.  Then we started feeding them the apples from
> our lunches.  One of my classmates slipped a Fizzie to one of the camels, who
> proceeded to run around the enclosure making horrible noises.
> 
> The next year at our trip to the zoo, when we came up to the camel enclosure,
> the camel came charging up to the fence, stopped right in front of the guy
> who gave him the Fizzie the year before, and spit right in his face.
> 
> I was present at both occasions; the second year I was standing right next to
> the guy (I even got splashed with camel spit).  I know it was the same camel,
> because they only had two and this one was larger and had a distinctive scar
> on his side.

Well, I've heard that camels are actually supposed to be pretty intelligent
beasts. Am reminded of a story about some Arabian king-type person who had
heard that camels were much like people, so he put it to a test: he blind-
folded an adult male camel and it's mother, and let them "go to it" (ie,
have sex). After the act, the blindfolds were removed and the camels, upon
realizing that they had committed incest, acted so morose and ashamed (with
a camel, how can you tell? But then, maybe that's why I'm not an Arabian king)
that the king had them put to death out of mercy.

Craig
-- 
-- "You will have the tallest,    Craig Becker, Object Technology Products --
--  darkest leading man in               Internet: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com --
--  Hollywood."                     IBM TR: jlpicard@woofer.austin.ibm.com --
--   - Merian C. Cooper to Fay Wray               VNET: JLPICARD at AUSVM1 --
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: One more for the FAQ
From: rhuss+@EDRC.CMU.EDU (Robert Huss)
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 17:00:55 GMT
Organization: Carnegie Mellon University
Keywords: In article <C0EHH2.L5B@taligent.com>, cep@taligent.com (Christophe Pettus) writes:

|> >Add to the science section of the FAQ
|> >
|> >F. 10% of the population are homosexuals.
|> >   [The origin of the figure is a missaplication of a 1930's study]
|> >
|> >Recent studies say 3-5% of men are homosexuals, and about half as many 
|> >for women.
|> 
|> How do these "recent studies" define "homosexual"?
|> --
|> -- Christophe
|> 
|> "Bad analogy!  No biscuit!"

And what sort of error do these "recent studies" have?  How do they compensate
for the tendency of homosexuals to hide their preferences? Etc, etc, etc...

	Personally, I don't think the percentage of homosexuals in the
population  should be on the FAQ one way or another. It's not an UL.

Bob "90% of all statistics is bunk" Huss
.