From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Only $39.95 + $6.00 S & H to "Phaseout"
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 17:35:24 GMT

The latest infomercial scam I've seen is a little plastic widget (I
believe it is called "Phaseout") for punching air holes in the filters of
cigarettes. The ad goes into all sorts of quasi-scientific bullshit about
cooling air and condensation, with 81% reductions in harmful tar and
nicotine, etc. and "no difference in taste". All illustrated by a fairly
disgusting group of test smokers, inhaling deeply and attesting to
this fact.  The hype is specifically designed to provide a means for
smokers to pretend to try to do something about their habit without
actually doing anything: "You can taper off and quit, or just reduce
harmful tars and nicotine."

The widget has a little plastic shaped block which you insert a whole pack
of _frajos_ into, squeeze, and presto! twenty beautifully perforated
filters. Evidently you get several "phases" of the widget, different
versions which poke progressively more/larger air holes.

And all for only $45.95, including the shipping and handling!

Interestingly, many of us having first-hand experience with the nicotine
monkey remember a commercial brand (I'm wanting to say it was Tareyton,
but that's not right), which came out with the perforated filter several
years ago. It was quite flat as cigarettes went. Most people who bought a
pack or carton ended up putting scotch tape around the filters to cover the
air holes, just to get some "flavor" out of it.

As a longtime smoker who suffered to stop six years ago, I still have
a lot of sympathy for people who smoke. And I view such devices and ads as
another ploy to exploit the miseries of the nicotine junkie. I suspect the
number of people who have actually succeeded in stopping with this device is
miniscule.

Pack'o'Cigarette Peeves:

1)	"Flavor" and "taste" used to describe the experience of smoking 
	cigarettes. "Dizzy" I might accept..

2) 	Cigarettes and all the grief they cost. The American Indian's true
	revenge on the white man.

3)	People who have never smoked being disgustingly self-righteous
	about smoking, in particular, insisting how easy it is to quit.

4)	Tobacco companies, now peddling the poison overseas to offset the
	declining U.S. market. (Another distinction of the U.S. is 	
	that we make the best commercial cigarettes on earth..)

Anti-peeve: the CO has now quit, clean as of April 1. With both of us
stopped, we are saving well over $2000 per annum on cigs, at todays carton
prices. (Of course, I'm awarding her a $1K gift next April 1, but we're
still way ahead.) And we don't have to listen to each other gagging and
coughing up lungers every morning.

L.  
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Because the plot demands: an EVIL man!