HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright)
Subject: Re: letters, opinions, women, romance
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 19:23:11 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <MezRHkq00Vp=IHFVdL@andrew.cmu.edu> Timothy James Davison <td1k+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:

>One problem I have with letter and writing in general, is that often you
>lose some of the tone of the msg.  If someone sends an e-mail msg that
>is jokingly insulting, you can't see the smile on the person's face who
>is writing it.  

There is a skill, which, if you master it, allows you to extract
that tone from the person's words.  It's called "reading."  'used
to teach that in schools.

(Of course, no one on Internet knows how to do that any more,
which is why people have to use smiley-faces instead.)

>If I jokingly insult someone I almost always have a big
>smile on my face and the person just has to look at me and know that I'm
>doing it out of affection.  

I take it you don't watch British comedy, eh?


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: maci9154@mach1.wlu.ca (macivor dawna)
Subject: Re: Where do I go from here?
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 16:11:57 GMT
Keywords: West Seneca, 14224

In article <BxKMxC.GnA@acsu.buffalo.edu> v119qkv2@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (POE) writes:
[stuff deleted] 
>
>3 months or so, Jenn (She) and I have become very good friends.  Problem - she
>was already involved in a very unpleasant relationship with a friend of mine,
>Walter (He).  Well, (supposedly) that relationship is no more. 
>	Now what do I do?  They've only been broken up for a week.  For how
>long do I keep my distance?  Remember - Jenn is very attractive and will most
>likely have many guys coming on to her.  I don't want to come off as a 
>insensitive jerk and push her into anything too fast, but it would kill me if I
>lose her to anyone because of my hesitency.  Do I start calling her more often?
>Do I ask her out on a date?  Do I go about business as usual & play the waiting
>game?  For the last two weeks, I really haven't had a meaningful conversation
>with her or spent any quality time with her.  What does this mean?  She was just
>using me to help ease her troubles with him?  She needs time to sort things out
>on her own?  Is she avoiding me?  Is it just coincidence?  Is there breaking up
>a direct result from the kindness I've shown towards her?  Am I living in a 
>fantasy world?  What do I do?  Any advice you wise and all-knowing people could
>give would greatly be appreciated.
>
>- Mike Poe

I hope this is a bit of a help, Mike.

I'd suggest just being honest with her about your feelings, but whatever you
do, DON'T PRESSURE HER!  I don't think she'd be ready for a new relationship
so fast.  Ask her the same questions you asked here - that's the only way
you'll get the answers.

Take some time to sit and talk to her - take her to a nice place for a
coffee (or whatever if you don't like coffee) and just talk to her.  She'll
appreciate your honesty and hopefully you'll get your answers.

Isn't romance confusing?  I'll think positive thoughts for you!

Smiles,
  Dawna =)


=) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug*
*   Life is too short not to share your hugs and smiles!              *
*      Keep smiling! =)                                               *
*   Dawna MacIvor  Waterloo, Ontario, Canada                          *
*   maci9154@mach1.wlu.ca                                             *
=) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug*
From: bushmanangel@bvc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Song of Solomon...............a different view.
Date: 13 Nov 92 11:24:54 CDT
Organization: Buena Vista College, Storm Lake, IA

In article <BxMKs6.Lo@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen) writes:
> ong of Solomon as seen with different eyes.
	[stuff deleted]
>         But I must disagree with Noring completely as his interpretation is 
> quite different than mine. I have been a Methodist for 70 years and we have 
> attended dozens of churches ( I spent 34 years in the USAF and have been all 
> over the world ) and of many denominations, especially Catholic as many of my 
> friends are Catholic, and I have NEVER seen the Song considered as an 
> "embarrassment" or that sexuality was considered as "dirty or a necessary evil 
> to be performed by the wife for the sole purpose of bearing children". 
	[more stuff deleted]
>                 John Fippen   age 70   in love 45 years  
> fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu
> 

I missed the original post, but I think John is very fortunate to have had 
the religious experiences he has had.  In my limited Lutheran experience, 
not once have any of my lessons included the Song of Solomon--it was 
virtually ignored.  I discovered it totally on my own.  In my experience, 
church has been a home of hipocracy (sp?), and I have subsequently rejected 
the tenets of nearly every religion I have explored.  I do, however, still 
believe the Bible to be an incredible source of wisdom and insight.  I just 
don't believe in the interpretations of any one given religion.

Like I said, the Bible is a great source of wisdom, but I think most people 
have not explored the Bible as they perhaps should--they accept everything 
written as face value, believing it is still as valid today as it was when 
written.  Most people know little to nothing about Biblical history--such 
as the vengeance between certain writers (I think Paul and Job (?) had 
personal differences, and thus wrote in a way to contradict, or shun, the 
other).  Also, most of the Old Testament was passed on for thousands of 
years before it was ever written, just like a "fish story."  An analytical 
teacher of mine once asked, "How big do you think Goliath really was?"

I know I've ventured a bit from the "romance" line, but I think these are 
interesting things to consider:

1.  Where in the Bible does it say that there is no such thing as 
reincarnation?

2.  Where in the Bible does it say that women should not be priests?

I think the entire world would be filled with much more love if we could 
all realize that there are different interpretations of the Bible, and 
that we need to accept or respect each others' beliefs.  Especially if your 
spirituality is important to you, this is a very important issue between 
lovers/life partners.
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: letters, opinions, women, romance
Date: 7 Nov 92 01:22:24 GMT
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II

In article <1992Nov6.195655.12581@Virginia.EDU> kmc8z@Virginia.EDU ("***** Tina C *****") writes:
>	I had a major discussion with someone I used to date
>about how he would NEVER write back (i wrote 3-4 times a month)
>and he just didn't understand the difference between writing
>and calling.  

Somehow, it's just not as romantic to carry around a printout of a phone
bill and take it out several times a day and smile a secret, small smile
as you read it and think of your SO. Same for hardcopy of email.
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: Re: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Reply-To: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 17:54:42 GMT

In article <1992Nov6.010633.4788@unislc.uucp>, erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:
>Christopher Jon Petit (petitc@nuge101.its.rpi.edu) wrote:
>
>:   What I want to know is:  Are there many women out there who will just TELL 
>: you when they're interested,

No, not many.  It generally doesn't work.

 or do most women simply flirt and hope that their
>: signals (vague as they are) are interpreted correctly?

Yes.  It generally doesn't work.

>Most women expect men to be psychic.  To be fair, most men expect women to be
>the same way.
>
>And yes, I *am* psychic...

Hey, I am too!  I hope it works better for you and your relationships than it
does for me and mine....

Cheryl

>Ed Carp, N7EKG          erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com         801/538-0177
>"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
>all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
>seeker, therefore, is concerned with one thing only: to become aware of what
From: DUDE@OSWEGO!UB! ( )
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Becoming attracted to friends
Date: 11 Nov 92 19:43:10 GMT
Organization: oswego state
 
   I'd like to say that your situation is not so unusual. I have a close female

friend that I am very much attracted to. We met last spring and kept in
touch over the summer through letters. During the summer she began to date
someone else, but that relationship crashed with the coming of fall. At the
moment I know she isn't seeing anyone and we spend all are time together.
We go out every weekend and yet our relationship has remained purerly on
a platonic level. I know she has some feelings for me yet she seems very
much afraid of commitment. I am aware that she has had very poor experience
with dating and she tells me that although she's attracted to me,she feels
much safer as just friends.
  There are many things that stand between us. Our political view are com-
pletely opposite and we are from different religious backgrounds. She
worries that relationships hinder independence, while I think they make
a person more free.
  She was beaten as a child and her father abandoned her, Thus she is in
a way distrustful of men.
  On the other hand, as friends we could not be closer. I still want more
from the relationship. The only thing I can do is continue to be there for
her and to show her that I truly care. I hope that in this way she will
eventually see that I am not a threat to her. Perhaps someone out there
on the net will have some useful advise.

  I would like to mention that I'm not just trying to get her in the
sack. She is an important person to me and when I say more out of the
relationship, I am more concerned with emotional love than physical. I
desire a permanant relationship.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@nuge112.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Nice Guys:  A Solution (?) (was Re: H*ll of a situation!)
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.
Distribution: ca
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 20:15:26 GMT

In article <1992Nov13.175836.14672@cognet.ucla.edu>, pablo@eye1.cognet.ucla.edu (Pablo Lapuerta) writes:

|> I hear the same things.  I think nice guys finish last.  People tell me  
|> that I should be patient, that eventually kindness and consideration will  
|> be appreciated,  and the more aggressive, obnoxious, and selfish type gets  
|> dates but isn't the type that a good woman will marry.  I'm not sure I  
|> believe it.

  IMHO, the only problem is that you don't show these women your passionate,
raw animalistic sides.  I'm NOT saying beat her over the head with a bat and
drag her off to your cave (that's alt.sex.caveman :&) ), but you may be too
afraid to express passion, so she doesn't _see_ you in that way.  Flirt with
the woman you're interested in, and hit on her _a bit_.  This way, you can be
a nice guy and still get the girl.

|> Recently someone told me that there are all sorts of wonderful women who  
|> complain that they can't find a good partner, either.  So I said  
|> "introduce me to them!"  Nothing came of it.  Where are they?

  Probably hiding out at home, feeling there are no Nice Guys in the world.  

  So, to meet a Nice Girl (tm), BREAK INTO WOMEN'S HOUSES AND DRAG THE NICE
WOMAN OUTSIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET!  :&)

(Note:  This smiley captioned for the humor impaired)

-- 
Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and terrible
scarcity.
MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for MADD)
From: petitc@nuge112.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
Date: 13 Nov 92 20:20:47 GMT
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.

In article <1992Nov11.215835.6103@informix.com> billd@informix.com (William Daul) writes:

>The dead get over it...I hear!  :-)

  Everyone except Elvis, but we all KNOW he has a great social life up there.
In fact, I think he causes the thunder...*AHEM!*... :&)

-- 
Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and terrible
scarcity.
MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for MADD)
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Childish Guys
Date: 6 Nov 92 21:35:49 GMT
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II

In article <wallich.721014764@pepper> wallich@ncd.com (Ken Wallich) writes:
<a wonderful article that if you haven't read you ought to go back and read>

>Becoming and "Adult" does not mean having to put aside enjoying things
>you enjoyed in your youth. 

When I was much younger, I always felt that when I became an "adult" that
all the secrets of the universe (or at least of living) would somehow become
revealed to me, and that something inside would change, and I wouldn't like
"childish" things anymore. The funny thing was, the secret was that there is
no secret...and that liking all those things doesn't necessarily have to
change.

What did change is the fact that I felt I had to hide it. Those who visit my
office now know in no uncertain terms that I like weird things and toys - I
have a yo yo, a bag of rubber guts, glow in the dark mealworms and cockroaches,
a whizzer top, a slinky, some plush animals, and a large button collection on
the wall, to name a few. I would have felt I had to pretend I didn't like
these things when I was younger.

>Now, granted, some people
>just are not ready to openly accept the responsibility of being an
>adult.  Like it or not, when your parents stop feeding you and telling
>you what to do (or you stop being told what to do), you are becoming
>and adult and are on your own.

I think you've hit the nail on the head - this is the difference between the
adult and the child. Adults know and accept repsonsibility for their actions,
and make choices appropriately. Something my father kept repeating: the
other side of freedom is responsibility. You don't really have one without the
other.
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
From: davidc@rapnet.sanders.lockheed.com (David P. Cavanaugh)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Songs about Lori ?
Date: 9 Nov 92 21:11:54 GMT
Organization: Defense Systems Division, Lockheed Sanders

In article <1992Nov5.230420.24669@news.acns.nwu.edu> lls@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Lori Smallwood) writes:
>From: lls@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Lori Smallwood)
>Subject: Re: Songs about Lori ?
>Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 23:04:20 GMT

>In article <1992Nov5.161217.680@njitgw.njit.edu> lcm1501@hertz.njit.edu (Lawrence C. Mc Abee) writes:
>>
>>       Hello romantics.  Since I am in love with a woman named Lori, I would
>> appreciate it if any people out there could clue me into any songs about Lori.
>> E-mail to lcm1501@hertz.njit.edu any relevant information.
>>
>>                       Thanks.

>Oo!  Email them to me, too!  :-)

>-- Lori



And I will take one too......

=================================================================
David Cavanaugh

Lockheed Sanders
MER24-1139
PO Box 868
Nashua, NH 03061
(603) 885-2425

davidc@rapnet.sanders.lockheed.com
=================================================================
From: ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: letters, opinions, women, romance
Date: 6 Nov 92 21:20:29 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <1992Nov5.140359.11520@bsu-ucs> 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.) writes:
>In article <Bx8GBn.DHF@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, bzb47596@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Phaedrus) writes:
>	I have a question you don't have to answer, but what do you do if she
>tries to bring up "deep" discussion in a conversation?  You know, like asking
>the ever-popular "What are you thinking, dear?" or other stuff like that?

My ex SO still asks me that question, "what are you thinking? "
because i tend to zone out and contemplate things on my own. We are
still good friends but i'm not sure how to respond to the question
since sometimes i don't think of anything...kinda like a trance...
anybody have any clues or suggestions? email me or post at your
discretion... thanks


Dzu
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
Date: 10 Nov 92 23:42:53 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1dn3ohINN85u@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> aa762@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Babinsky) writes:
>
>It has been 2 months and 10 days since my girlfriend of 3 and a
>half years has broken up with me.  After begging and pleading and
>even calling her about 4 weeks ago (like a dummy), I was wondering
>if you ever get over feeling lonely or missing that special 
>someone to share life with?
>
Give it some time. It seems like a long time to you, but two months
and three days is not long enough to forget about someone you were
with for three and half years. Time seems to drag when you feel 
heartbroken, but it will pick up as you feel better.

Eventually, you will want to start considering other women to 
replace your girlfriend. But right now might be a good time
to work on being more happy without someone special. Find out
what you like. Find friends that are interested in the same 
things you are. Anything that takes your attention away from
yourself will make you feel less lonely.

Peace,
Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Subject: Re: Songs about Lori ?
Organization: Youngstown State University/Youngstown Free-Net
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 06:00:28 GMT


Okay....all this time I thought I was just crazy to think this:


[bunch deleted about liking people with the same names]





for what it's worth....my sister and I have had relationships
with guys who all shared the same two names:   Mark and James.


common names, i know...but interesting all the same

(we never dated the same guy, by the way...)

she dated 2 Marks and a James
I dated 2 James and a Mark



she's now with Mark; I'm with James...




back to your regularly scheduled weirdness......
-- 
..Who else but us could find our joy walking home
                 through the puddles;
  With a milkshake in your pocket
                       .....and a box on my head.      dsb '87
From: v119qkv2@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (POE)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Tell me....
Date: 9 Nov 92 21:24:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <199211080532. jbell@mihi.une.edu.au (Master of Puppets) writes...
                                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>how much pain does it take
>before your heart breaks?

Wow, such deep thoughts from the "Master of Puppets"?  Who'd of thunk it? :-)

>/------------------------jbell@mihi.une.edu.au--------------------------\
>| Strange how laughter looks like crying with no sound, | Justin Bell   |
>| Raindrops taste like tears without the pain.          | +61-67-72-6247|
>\-------------90 Taylor St., Armidale, NSW, 2350, AUSTRALIA-------------/

"Trust I seek, and I find in you        "I'm all alone 
 Everyday offers something new           And it's another rainy night
 Open mind for a different view           without you"
 And nothing else matters"                     - Queensryche
	- Metallica

- Mike Poe
From: bzb47596@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Phaedrus)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: letters, opinions, women, romance
Date: 5 Nov 92 07:47:46 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

I am interested in knowing the opinions of a.r men and women on the effective-
ness and usefulness of writing letters (man-->woman, or woman-->man) because
I have found myself spilling my guts a lot more often in letters than in
person.

Its not that I hide behind writing letters or anything.  Sometimes its a 
physical seperation that causes the letter, sometimes its just a need to 
express myself in a more rigid media than a conversation.  With some women
I find it hard to move the topic away from mundane things to 'deep' things
and a letter provides me a place where i can be open and honest and complete
about my emotions, and she can't shrug it off or change the subject like
might happen in a conversation.  It also allows me more of a chance to gather
my complete feelings than trying to remember everything I wanted to say in
the heat of a conversation.

So what's the viewpoint out there?


-- 
Phaedrus - Master of the Tao of Pooh             internet: phaedrus@uiuc.edu 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
     "The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous,
      the sensible man hardly anything."   --Goethe
From: jav56209@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Clarice M. Starling)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: RE: What kind of flowers?
Summary: The meaning of colors of flowers/roses
Keywords: roses birthday friend
Date: 12 Nov 92 23:51:28 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

I may be wrong, but I thought that white roses meant "Forget-me-not"
and yellow roses mean "friendship".  Hmmm...what else?

Sorry, that's all I can remember..

Good luck...hope there's more help out there..ask a florist :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Julie Villanueva				University of Illinois 
email: jav56209@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu		College of Engineering
		"...and we will all go down together..."
					-Billy Joel
_______________________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: moonbeam@iastate.edu (Timothy J Cockerham)
Subject: Hi. Uhhh, I have a question...
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 04:57:34 GMT

Hi. This is my first posting on here. But I'll just get on with it.
I have a question that I would love to have answered.
How does one overcome shyness? I would like to meet girls, but I just seem
to close up whenever the chance arrives. I need suggestions please.
Thanks.
-Tim-
Please send me e-mail. 
moonbeam@iastate.edu


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: lani@askinc.ASK.COM (Lani Barton)
Subject: Re: Wedding Vows (was Re: H*ll of a situation!)
Reply-To: lani@askinc.ask.COM (Lani Barton)
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Inc.
Date: 13 Nov 92 17:39:57 GMT

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
|> If you *are* as blessed as you indicate here, perhaps you're not looking in 
|> the right places ... or sending the right signals. From personal experience,
|> put a wide gold band on the ring finger of your left hand. Quasimodo could 
|> have gotten hit on if he'd been married. 

  Do any of the charming ladies out there have any idea WHY it is that people
seem to hit on people the most that are already taken?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I don't know - ask the men here.  It seems there's a lot of posts from
guys here pining over women who already have boyfriends.