HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Rudolf's nose is dimming
Date: 4 Jan 1993 20:01:51 GMT
Organization: Univ. Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center

In article <hohoho@northpole.org> santa@northpole.org writes:
>We have a crisis on our hands.  Rudolf's nose is slowly dimming!
>We require more hope in the world to light it back up!  Do what
>you can to assist.  Give money to the homeless, be nice to your
>mother, give an ex-girlfriend a kiss, whatever your heart will
>allow.

I have a better idea - just have him buggered by the Energizer Bunny, you fat
bastard.

David Gutierrez
drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu

"Only fools are positive." - Moe Howard

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dan@resonex.com (Dan Kell)
Subject: Re: Another blonde joke
Organization: Resonex Inc., Sunnyvale CA
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 14:00:29 GMT

My wife just came up with a NEW blonde joke. She tought it fairly clever,
I said I heard before and ended up on the couch. So here Goes:

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?

A: To avoid the draft.


So did I deserve the couch?



-- 
Dan Kell 
email to dan@resonex.com
"Experience is something you don't get until just after you needed it most."
                       Murphys laws of computing
From: wvogel@MtHolyoke.edu (keeper of the tone)
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes,rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bunch of baby jokes
Date: 11 Jan 1993 08:30:04 -0500
Organization: Mount Holyoke College
NNTP-Posting-Host: slab.mtholyoke.edu
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

whats red and white on the outside and red and white on the inside??



campells cream of dead baby soup

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: waw0026@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Subject: Re: READ MY LIPS...
Reply-To: waw0026@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 14:10:25 GMT

In article <19218@mindlink.bc.ca>, Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark) writes:
>
>        If there is a moderator on "rec.humor" why the fuck isn't he (she or
>it) doing his (her or it's) job by removing ALL offensive (non-humourous)
>material.
>
>        I logon to this group for only one (count 'em, ONE (1)) reason and
>that's to read humour.  I am getting bloody sick and tired of having to wade
>through political, religious, and other misc shit.  There is a place for this
>crap and it's NOT on rec.humor so stick it where it belongs.  I can just
>imagine what would happen if I attempted to post a nice juicy adult joke to
>the religious group.
>
>        I know I am NOT alone in this regard so my personal message to any
>existing moderator is this... do your fucking job and do it properly or find
>someone that will.
>
>        If I sound slightly pissed off I apologize then I have not got my
>message across... I am ROYALLY pissed off!  Please forward all flames to me
>personally at:  Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca

Oh, GOOD.  A message like THIS complaining about offensive inclusions in the
newsgroup.  Hey, good thinking. 

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sosc1003@wc13.writer.yorku.ca (Jenny Chan)
Subject: Me too please !
Keywords: Answer machine messages
Organization: York University
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 18:44:50 GMT

Whoever's sending a copy of machine messages around, please send one to me  
too!!  Creative ones is what I'm looking for.

sosc1003@highway.writer.yorku.ca
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: butchern@zeus.swindon.rtsg.mot.com (Neil Butcher)
Subject: Re: So this guy goes to the doctor and...
Organization: Motorola LTD
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 11:33:10 GMT

In article <1993Jan9.182407.1@gallua.gallaudet.edu>, sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust) writes:
> In article <1993Jan8.154815.15247@schbbs.mot.com>, butchern@zeus.swindon.rtsg.mot.com (Neil Butcher) writes:
> > In article <1993Jan8.152913.14499@schbbs.mot.com>, TUK067@maccvm.corp.mot.com (David Wheeler) writes:> 
> 
> 	[Brit joke about kippers and pizza deleted]
> 
> > It's good to see us Brits can still outdo the Yanks on the joke front!!
> 
> > -- 
> > Neill Butcher,
> > [Private Pilot, Glider Pilot (instrument rated)]
> 
> 
> 	I thought that was because you Brits are the only ones who understand
> those stupid kinds of jokes. Of course I could be wrong, after all, most Brits
> are legends in their own minds.
> 
> 
> 	ObJoke: What has 2 greay legs and 2 brown legs?
> 
> 		An elephant with diarrhea.
> 
> _______
> 
> 		Scott A. Rust | "A stupid person can do anything
> 	 Gallaudet University |           except think."
>   sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu |                   Bob Dobbs, Jr.
> 
> 		   "Why? Why because I laugh."
>                                     - Sherwood Anderson -
Hey everybody, I've caught a live one!

-- 
Neill Butcher,
[PPL ASEL (IR)]
Mechanical Designer
Motorola,
16 Euro Way,
Blagrove,
Swindon.
Wiltshire.
England. SN5 8YQ.
Tel No  +44 793 545434
Fax No  +44 793 541228
E-mail  butchern@zeus.swindon.rtsg.mot.com
uunet!motcid!zeus!butchern


                                  ___________                                                              
                                       |                                                       
                                       ^                                        
     ---------------------------------(_)---------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dwr@cci632.cci.com (Donald W. Rouse II)
Subject: Re: READ MY LIPS...
Organization: [Computer Consoles, Inc., Rochester, NY
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 1993 01:42:16 GMT

In article <19218@mindlink.bc.ca> Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark) writes:
>
>        If there is a moderator on "rec.humor" why the fuck isn't he (she or
>it) doing his (her or it's) job by removing ALL offensive (non-humourous)
>material.
>
>        I logon to this group for only one (count 'em, ONE (1)) reason and
>that's to read humour.  I am getting bloody sick and tired of having to wade
>through political, religious, and other misc shit.  There is a place for this
>crap and it's NOT on rec.humor so stick it where it belongs.  I can just
>imagine what would happen if I attempted to post a nice juicy adult joke to
>the religious group.
>
>        I know I am NOT alone in this regard so my personal message to any
>existing moderator is this... do your fucking job and do it properly or find
>someone that will.
>
>        If I sound slightly pissed off I apologize then I have not got my
>message across... I am ROYALLY pissed off!  Please forward all flames to me
>personally at:  Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca

Hey, that's not funny!
You shouldn't be posting to this group
unless you have something funny to say.
I logon to this group for only one (count 'em, ONE (1)) reason
and that's to read humour.  I am getting bloody sick and tired
of having to wade through postings by people complaining about
having to wade through shit of various kinds.

Come to think of it, wading through shit is kind of funny ...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: vsnyder@math.jpl.nasa.gov (Van Snyder)
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Keywords: Funky Christian Names
Organization: Jet Propulsion Laboratory
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 19:48:34 GMT

In article <3924@mowgli.mdavcr.mda.ca> jschulz@mdavcr.mda.ca (Jason Schulz) writes:
>My mother works as a nurse in the recovery room.  The other day a patient of 
>Vietnamese origin came in for a circumcision.  His name:
>
>Long Phuk [sp?].

We had a Vietnamese fellow working with us.  His name was Phuoc Pham.
We called him Delphin.
-- 
What fraction of Americans believe   |  Van Snyder
Wrestling is real and NASA is fake?  |  vsnyder@math.jpl.nasa.gov
From: gb03@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (GEORGE PHILIP BLUHM)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Obscure joke
Date: 12 Jan 93 21:39:00 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <3114@tymix.Tymnet.COM>, filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM (Fil Feit) writes:
>In article 19213@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu, gb03@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (GEORGE PHILIP BLUHM
) writes:
>>In article <31640022@hpcuhe.cup.hp.com>, rinker@hpcuhe.cup.hp.com (Eric Rinker
)
>>writes:
>>>
>>>You're the only one who knows what a fetlock is.
>>>
>>
>>Obviously you do not know a horse behind from a hole in the ground, or rather
>>his leg.
>>
>>Phylee THEE MacNasty
>
>What he doesn't know is a horse's leg from an old, front-loading gun.
>
>And when was the last time you needed a FET, anyway?
>
>--f2
>
>-------------------------
>  "You may wait here in the sitting room,
>   or you can sit here in the waiting room."
>

I have had little use for Field Effect Transistors lately.

Phylee THEE MacNasty
From: dag@col.hp.com (David Geiser)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Brilliant Woody Allen Joke
Date: 12 Jan 1993 16:01:12 GMT
Organization: HP Colorado Springs Division
NNTP-Posting-Host: hplsdor.col.hp.com

> 
> I ask you, just *where* do I come up with these pearls?

Probably from reading rec.humor where it was posted six months ago.
-- 
To know recursion, you must first know recursion.
--

Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.arts.movies
From: elf@ee.ryerson.ca (luis fernandes)
Subject: Re: New Pepto-Bismol Ad
Organization: Ryerson Polytechnical Institute, Toronto
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 23:28:34 GMT

ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides) writes:
>dascoser@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (david serchay) writes:
>>dhanwada@IASTATE.EDU (Chalapathy Dhanwada) writes:
>>
>>> greenkj@ucbeh.san.uc.edu writes:
>>> > davidg@meaddata.com (David Galehouse) writes:
>>> > > scottm@spruce.ppc.ubc.ca (Scott Morgan) writes:
>>> > > |> schumach@convex.com(Richard A. Schumacher) writes:
>>> > > |> |> 
>>> > > |> |> >>>>>So there's this new ad on North-American tv for Pepto-Bismol
>>> fast-acting
>>> > > |> |> >>>>>formula.  The scene involves a man who is having (ahem) abdomi
>>> distress
>>> > > |> |> >>>>>during a movie.  He has to leave the movie (and disturb all th
>>> people in
>>> > > |> |> >>>>>his row) because of it.  Fortunately Pepto-Bismol comes to the
>>> rescue.
>>> > > |> |> >>>>>The last cut shows the happy couple leaving the movie theatre,
>>> and there
>>> > > |> |> >>>>>is NOTHING on the movie marquee overhead!!! Here's the rec.hum
>>> challenge: 
>>> > > |> |> >>>>>what movie did they see?  What would you have liked to see on 
>>> marquee?  
>>> > > |> |> >>>>>How about:  "Logan's Run"?  Any other movie suggestions?
>>> > > |> |> >>>
>>> > > |> |> >>>>"Silent and Deadly".
>>> > > |> |> >>>>"The Black Hole"
>>> > > |> |> >>>"Silent Running" 
>>> > > |> |> >>>"Run Silent, Run Deep"
>>> > > |> |> >>>"See You Next Wednesday"
>>> > > |> |> >>>"Bringing Up Baby"
>>> > > |> |> >>>"48 Hours"
>>> > > |> |> >>The Blob
>>> > > |> |> >>A River Runs Through It
>>> > > |> |> >>Squeeze Play
>>> > > |> |> >>City Slickers
>>> > > |> |> >>Lethal Weapon
>>> > > |> |> >>Deliverance
>>> > > |> |> >Howard's End
>>> > > |> |> "That Uncertain Feeling"
>>> > > |> |> "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"
>>> > > |> |> "Popi"
>>> > > |> |> "Birth Of A Nation"
>>> > > |> |> "My Dinner With Andre"
>>> > > |> |> "Diner"
>>> > > |> |> "Eating Raoul"
>>> > > |> |> "Seven Days In May"
>>> > > |> |> "Some Like It Hot"
>>> > > |> |> "Night Moves"
>>> > > |> How about  "King Ralph" ?
>>> > > Two more: "High Anxiety"
>>> > >           "Blazing Saddles"
>>> > Every Which Way But Loose???
>>> Cannonball run
>>> Never say never again
>>The Shape of Things to Come
>Firestarter


"Gone With The Wind" ?

--
elf@ee.ryerson.ca
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: fester@island.COM (Mike Fester)
Subject: Re: Naeem: don't emulate american, its a ghastly accent
Keywords: language
Organization: /usr/local/rn/organization
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 19:42:45 GMT

In article <2662@eagle.ukc.ac.uk> srd@ukc.ac.uk (S.R.Davies) writes:
>In article <1993Jan6.025316.2017@pony.Ingres.COM> garrett@Ingres.COM (WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS) writes:
>
>>In article <i3558.725901920@newsie>, i3558@newsie.dc.dk (Soren Michael Roug)                     writes...
>>>I seems to me that this discussion is mostly, if not completely carried
>>>out by americans. My advice to you is that if you want to improve your
>>>english language then learn the King's english, not those barbarian dialects
>>>the yanks choose to utter. 
>
>>   [...]
>>	Secondly, the English is one of the most basterdized languages
>>in the world. It's a mish-mash of a dozen different languages (and that's
>>not even including the multiple dialects in that tiny little island of yours.)
>
>	That first sentence is a good example. You may be interested to
> know that Denmark is not an island !

Why on Earth would anyone be interested in THAT? Is it important to anyone? 

BTW, the King has been dead lo these many years, so I really don't see why
anyone would choose to learn HIS English. 

Mike
-- 
Disclaimer - These opinions are not so much opinions, as pearls of wisdom. Any-
one disagreeing is obviously either a) a snivelling, whining, mentally-
deficient, weak-willed, inconsequential, namby-pamby tool of some vague but
conveniently defined conspiracy, or b) my wife.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: caper@bnr.ca (Joe Smith)
Subject: Re: DEEP SPACE 9 DRINKING GAME (Please send)
Reply-To: caper@bnr.ca (Joe Smith)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 93 15:44:28 GMT


Could someone out there please either repost or email (preferred method)
the ST:DS9 drinking game rules to me. I missed it the first time around.

Thanx, Joe


+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Joe Smith                                                              |   
| Bell-Northern Research Ltd      ////       Ottawa, ONT  Canada, eh!    |
| EMail : caper@bnr.ca           (o o)                                   |
+-----------------------------ooO-(_)-Ooo--------------------------------+
Xref: sparky rec.humor:37549 soc.religion.quaker:391 soc.culture.celtic:8602 soc.culture.jewish:24726
From: cc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Chris Cooke)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: History (was: Seriously, a joke.)
Date: 7 Jan 93 14:32:04 GMT
	<1993Jan3.203648.11085@philmtl.philips.ca> <C0FMyu.8FG@agora.rain.com>
	<C0HL5L.4y8@dcs.ed.ac.uk>
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Edinburgh, Scotland

In article <C0HL5L.4y8@dcs.ed.ac.uk> morna@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Morna J Findlay) writes:
   In article <C0FMyu.8FG@agora.rain.com> trifid@agora.rain.com (Roadster Racewerks) writes:
   >
   >I also think you ought to look into why the earlier versions of Highland
   >dress were considered obscene... ('Nother hint. They seldom wore pants,
   >or kilts.  Men's natural "accoutrements" were considered something to be
   >proud of, and were often hidden by only a dagger or pouch. Think of the
   >sporran without the kilt...  8-)

   You -  are - JOKING hen!

   Unless the climate here was substantailly - SUBSTANTIALLY - better
   then than it is now, I'll bet you several big ones that's a lot of 
   total tosh.

Compromise suggestion: maybe they let it all hang out during battle, but at
other times protected themselves from the weather?  Certainly if their
willies were exposed all the time, they'd drop off.  Seriously, a Highland
winter is NOT the time to go streaking through the glens.  But I gather that
ancient Irish warriors used to fight in the buff to scare their opponents;
maybe their Scottish cousins had similar battle habits.
--
	-- Chris. 	cc@dcs.ed.ac.uk   (on Janet, cc@uk.ac.ed.dcs)

		
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: richs@cogs.sussex.ac.uk (Richard Salter)
Subject: Re: Test
Organization: University of Sussex
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 12:24:17 GMT

In article <1993Jan6.151519.1@ulkyvx.louisville.edu>, cpsigd01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu writes:
|> In article <8791.8589@stratus.SWDC.Stratus.COM>, bruce@godzilla.swdc.stratus.com (Bruce Overby) writes:
|> > In article <-hc=Vg@engin.umich.edu> pka@engin.umich.edu (Payman Khalili) writes:
|> >>In article <1993Jan5.164636.3686@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> s9000289@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au (Cameron Hooper) writes:
|> >>>In article <1992Dec19.062934.133234@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, cej0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (CHARLES EDWARD JAMES) writes:
|> >>>> In article <1992Dec18.143400.6456@bmerh85.bnr.ca>, coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr.ca (Dav
|> >>>> id Smith) writes:
|> >>>>>In article <1992Dec18.020436.2148@news.arc.nasa.gov> nicholso@pioneer.arc.nasa.
|> >>>> gov (Melvin H. Nicholson YBH) writes:
|> >>>>>>In article <BzF6E3.Lp7@cck.coventry.ac.uk> cei352@cck.coventry.ac.uk (The Frea
|> >>>> k) writes:
|> >>>>>>>In article <1992Dec17.102719.13134@bsu-ucs> 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu write
|> >>>> s:
|> >>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Rich
|> >>>> man) writes:
|> >>>>>>>>> In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@euler.Berk
|> >>>> eley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
|> >>>>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Tw
|> >>>> yman) writes:
|> >>>>>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas
|> >>>>  Orphanides) writes:
|> >>>>>>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron H
|> >>>> uang) writes:
|> >>>>>>>>>>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (
|> >>>> Vilas Khare) writes:
|> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
|> >>>>>>>>>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
|> >>>>>>>>>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
|> >>>>>>>>>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
|> >>>>>>>>>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
|> >>>>>>>>> This is starting to make me snore.
|> >>>>>>>>is this the rec.humor people adore?
|> >>>>>>>Ommes it porn,which is hard core.?
|> >>>>>>Haven't when been through all this before?
|> >>>>>No, have some BEER and let me pour!
|> >>>> Why have one when we can have four!
|> >>>Get throughly pissed and sleep on the floor.
|> >>Hilary Clinton loves Al Gore!
|> > This is one cascade I really abhor.
|> Hilary Clinton is really a Wh-- 
I have this strange feeling, there's far more in store.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: OXYMORONS
From: dehaney4905@mtroyal.ab.ca
Date: 12 Jan 93 13:48:35 MST
Organization: Mount Royal College, Calgary, Alberta

guyh@hpubvwa.nsr.hp.com (Guy Hyde) wrote:
> Vida Morkunas (vida@mdavcr.mda.ca) wrote:
> : The latest and newest oxymoron on television happened this past weekend,
> : regarding the new Star-Trek spin-off, Deep Space Nine.  The show had
> : been "premiering" all week on different networks, but the clincher came
> : when one of the channels decided to show the pilot for a second time.
> : The booming voice-over proudly announced:
> 
> : "Be sure not to miss the ENCORE PREMIERE of Deep Space Nine!!!"
> 
> Heard last night on the local news -
> 	"Well, this looks like 'De Ja Vu' again."

Here's one (State-side).
"Peace-Officer"

     :              ,&&&&..         ,,$$$$$$$$$,           +   .*.######       
    :        +     &&:..  ''       ;$'      '$$$:         /*.*.*.######!+###   
    %        :      ''&&&&&..      $:        $$$:       //*.*.*&*######!+##    
   .%        %            '&&&,    $     ,,,,,$$:      //######&######!!+##    
   %.       ,%.    |       ,&&.    ;$,,''   '$$:'     //######&'      `!+#     
   .%.     ,%:.    &.     ,&&...    $'       ,::  ___/(________________________
    ''%%%%%:''      '&&&&&&&..'     |       ,$'    Dehaney4905@MtRoyal.Ab.Ca
                      ~~~~~~' 
      "The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein/H.A.Lorentz
From: x87bennett@gw.wmich.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: So this guy goes to the doctor and...
Date: 11 Jan 93 14:48:43 EST
Organization: Western Michigan University

> Two in every one people in this country are schizophrenic.

You mean that two in every one people in this country have multiple 
personalities.

"I most certainly do not"

"Shut up!"

The both of us:   Joe Bennett (and Joe Bennett)
x87bennett@gw.wmich.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sobejana@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com (Regina Sobejana)
Subject: BIG Mermaid
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 19:07:14 GMT
Organization: Bill & Dave's Garage
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.4 PL6]

My friend was reading the movie review section of the paper when 
he said something like below that gave me a chuckle:

"Hmmm... 'Scent of a Woman'?.... I thought it was about Al Paccino(sp?)
playing with a FISH or a BIG Mermaid!"


Oh well... it was funny when he said it.


d8^)
-ginnie
-- 
@>--`--- @>--`-- @>--`--- @>--,--- @>--`--- @>--,--- @>--`--- @>--,--- @>--`--
; HEWLETT-PACKARD Laboratories      * "The OPTIMIST affirms, the PESSIMIST   |
| internet: sobejana@hpl.hp.com     *  denies Life."  -- Albert Einstein     ;
@>--`--- @>--`-- @>--`--- @>--,--- @>--`--- @>--,--- @>--`--- @>--,--- @>--`--
From: acw@siesoft.co.uk (Andy Watson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: More Damned Roses Stuff
Date: 7 Jan 93 20:25:38 GMT
Organization: Siemens Nixdorf Information Systems Ltd.
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

From my school days, an insult of great sophistication : - 

	Roses are red
	Violets are Blue
	If I looked like you
	I'd be in the zoo

I'm sure that would appeal to my 5 year old niece.


===============================================================================
    Smile they said, for things could be worse, so I did, and they were ...
Andy Watson - Consultancy Department - Siemens Nixdorf Information Systems 
Bracknell, England                     E-mail   : A.Watson@siesoft.co.uk
===============================================================================
From: pelton@ecf.toronto.edu (PELTON MATTHEW ALAN)
Subject: Re: Wedding Songs
Organization: University of Toronto, Engineering Computing Facility
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 1993 00:57:07 GMT

In article <C0rHq4.K9t@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu (John Mechalas) writes:
>In article <C0rE70.6nB@news.udel.edu> thuyan@ravel.udel.edu (Thuy-An Hartman) writes:
>>
>>I heard 2 songs at a wedding a while back and I haven't been able to
>>find out their titles or who sings them.  Can anyone help?
>>
>>One of them goes: "You piss me off, you fucking jerk..."
>
>This first one is called "The Rodeo Song" ... I can't remember who sings it.
>
>
  It's Bowser and Blue's favorite song.  (They're a Montreal comedy duo.)

Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.british
From: jlloyd@cc.uow.edu.au (Jonathan Lloyd)
Subject: Re: ...where angels fear... INDEED
Organization: University Of Wollongong
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 93 22:43:37 GMT

It seems that in our younger and more foolish days we have all been up
to some pretty adventurous antics in little under powered cars:

>>>(This is for Brits only)
>>>Did you see where some guy last year was done for speeding
>>>in a Reliant Robin? Clocked 105 mph!
>>>Top that, Del Boy.

>>HAH! I once got my volkswagon Bug up to 110 mph!
>>(of course it was on a loooonng downhill, and after 95 mph I had to
>>shift into neutral)
>Did you have a death wish at the time?  

>Seems to me, given the shape, weight, etc, that it might get a little
>lighter and thus less controllable.  Likely the tires weren't rated
>for anything close to that speed, either...

I remember a scary drive down the "Neath Bank" on the Heads of the Valleys
road in South Wales about 10 years ago. The car was a 1000cc Mini clubman.
It was the early am on a Sat night. My brother and I were returning from
spectating on the Rhigos Mountain stage of the RAC rally.

I think my brother wanted to emulate his rally heroes.
We successfully put the speedo needle up against the zero stop from the 
other side, i.e. it wanted to start its second revolution!!
I know that they are inaccurate and I've no idea how fast we were going
but it must have been over 100mph. Actually the beast felt quite stable!!
I do remember worrying about what would happen if we needed to stop.
The little drum braked (not servo assisted) would have been less than 
adequate!

Perhaps we should start a new newsgroup:
"alt.brit.small-car.bullshit.stories"

-Jonathan.

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** These views are my own and do not reflect upon the policy *******
** or views of the University of Wollongong, only of a young *******
** welshman in a land down under ---Cymru am Byth ******************
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Phone +61 42 213018     Fax +61 42 213112       Email J.Lloyd@uow.edu.au