Via:        UK.AC.LEEDS.GPS; 26 SEP 92 17:35:49 BST
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.dipl-l
Date:         Sat, 26 Sep 1992 17:34:00 BST
Reply-To:     amt5man@SUN.LEEDS.AC.UK
From:         amt5man@SUN.LEEDS.AC.UK
Subject:      THE DIPLOMACY PLAYER'S DRINKING SONG

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((Reprinted from Graustark 317, 14th September 1974.))

                  THE DIPLOMACY PLAYERS' DRINKING SONG
                         BY EVAN JONES

All those who've used the Dippy board
Or allies have impaled, sir,
Have great distrust for spoken word
Or they've already failed, sir.
But one thing that we've all intoned
As it would well appear, sir!
That when we play, we should be stoned
And drink a sixpack a year, sir.\footnote{ At six cans a year, ten
years a game, and ten games a year, you can have six
hundred cans a year, excluding interludes of imbibulation between
games.  Makes a man glad to be alive! (EJ)  It cannot be stressted
too strongly that this means a sixpack per *game* year, *not* per
calendar year. (JB)}


When Allan Calhamer was young,
Of one thing we are sure, sir:
The thought of cold beer on his tongue
For him was quite a lure, sir.
With talent like Shakespeare, sir,
And when he grew, that A. B. C.
Designed the great Diplomacy
With the help of a sixpack a year, sir.

Whenever Resinsel plays a game,
He's ground beneath the hoof, sir.
Hawaian Punch his mind will tame,
And this provides us proof, sir,
That sober souls are swept aside
By diplomatic cheer, sir.
All decent players must abide
By the rule of a sixpack a year, sir.

O great von Metzke, honored one,
He is a superstar, sir;
To him great honor still be done,
The greatest one by far, sir.
He says, ``You soon will be all right''
``If to the left you veer, sir.''
``And trimuph in our well-fought fight''
``If you drink a sixpack a year, sir.''


When John Boardman was in his prime,
He knew it straight and clear, sir,
That even in a decade's time
He still would print his `zine, sir,
That quality was guaranteed,
And that he'd have no fear, sir,
That if, when GRAUSTARK was in seed,
He'd drink his sixpack a year, sir.

When Robert Lipton tied for first
In `71EC,
He said, ``If Borman didn't thirst''
``For beer, I'd have won easy.''
``We *both* drank till we nearly died''
``And though it may seem queer, sir,''
``We drank the same, and so we tied;''
``We both drank a sixpack a year, sir.''

Continued Lipton, ``Though well brewed,''
``Your logic I'll refine, sir:''
``Your ann'l sixpack should include''
``A quart of Rhenish wine, sir.''
``So to this hearty supplement''
``Your fancy now endear, sir:''
``I hope you keep your elbow bent---''
``Drink a quart and a sixpack a year, sir.''

The great Birsan I'd not neglect,
Almighty  he should stand, sir.
And if to Godhood we'd elect
Someone, he'd win offhand, sir.
But to the greatest God he bows
And will bring up the rear, sir;
To ale, full credit he allows
And he drinks his sixpack a year, sir.

Beshara says, ``It is (for me)''
``Impossible to think, sir,''
``Unless you play Diplomacy,''
``Make merry, eat and *drink*, sir.''
``I drink by day and drink by night;''
``To my oath I adhere, sir:''
``All forms of temperance I fight,''
``And I drink my sixpack a year, sir.''

``Now Duncan Smith's a man to beat;
If done you'd show some pride, sir.
And though he may have some conceit,
It's surely justified, sir.
He says, ``The only way to win''
``Is gurgle down the beer, sir:''
``To reach success, you can't begin''
``Till you drink your sixpack a year, sir!''

O hERbErt BARenTs, hail to thee,\footnote{There are *no* typos from MN in
this verse!}
To you we give a cheer, sir.
Your `zine's of highest quality;
You gulp your ale and beer, sir:
A cheerfual chap like Tony Belch,
Not tragic, like King Lear, sir,
But one who thinks of nothing elch
But his games and a sixpack a year, sir

About Ray Heuer, there's no room
For doubt that he'll succed, sir,
For with a great `zine like *Carn Dum*
He'll soon be great indeed, sir.
For Gilbert Neiger, I will vouch
He's wiser than a seer, sir!
O genius, now behind *The Pouch*!
And they both drink a sixpack a year, sir.

Penelope we'll ne'er forget,
We mourn to see her gone, sir.
*Memoria cius incendet*:
Her memory burns on, sir.
We mourn to see the old girl's death,
For her we shed a tear, sir;
And I am sure with her last breath
She drank a sixpack a year, sir.\footnote{A New York Conspiracy injoke
about with *The Pouch* ---MN}

Now Kasanov has done me wrong
(That day he's gonna rue, sir)
By ripping off this drinking song\footnote{reference to *The Pocket
Armenian* \# 1, last page ---EJ}
And I am gonna sue, sir.
With reputation I will dim;
I'll uin his career, sir,
For plagiarizing this great hymn
And degrading a sixpack a year, sir.

When you hear Ulanov agree-
ing with the IDA, sir.
You'll soon see his subscibers flee-
Ing on that fateful day, sir.
How can *The Pouch* support that crow
Of level-headed drear, sir,
Who our most sacred rite eschew:
To drink a sixpack a year, sir.

Ver Ploeg and Rocamore too,
Verheiden and the rest, sir,
Lakofka, Power, great ones who
Assist us in our quest, sir,
For greater things in life, you see,
And though some morons jeer, sir,
We must resolve --- both you and me\footnote{Sorry about that, heh heh!
Poetic license, you know! --- EJ}
To drink a sixpack a year, sir.

To Bytwerk, Naus, Antosiak,
To Eller, Smythe, and Ward, sir,
All those who stab us in the back,
We hail with one accord, sir.
Zelansky, Prosnitz, Beyerlein,
Bring wisdom to your car, sir,
Right temperance and give the sign
Of approval to sixpack a year, sir.

Of beer you can't imbibe too much.
Say sages quite profound, sir;
The drink improves the mind, as such
And makes the world spin round, sir.
So we will drink the livelong day
And let our minds be freer, sir;
We'll watch that map of Europe sway
To the tune of a sixpack a year, sir.

If you desire to rise to fame
And your opponents hedge, sir.
Just bolt it down between each game
And give yourself the edge, sir.
And our revels and our fun,
We'll shout it loud and clear, sir,
``We'll drink from dusk to rising sun''
``We'll drink a sixpack a year, sir!''
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Retyped by Mark Nelson for email distribution through the dipl-l
discussion group on 26th September 1992.

I could write a paper explaining all the references, in-jokes and
providing a comments, but
I can't be bothered. I just
hope that most people get the general idea.

amt5man@sun.leeds.ac.uk
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Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU