From: MYERS@AB.WVNET.EDU (Roger Myers)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Adoption services and a tip
Date: 1 Sep 92 15:08:43 GMT
Reply-To: MYERS@AB.WVNET.EDU (Roger Myers)
X-Fidonet: Blink Talk Conference

Index Number: 24118

Here is some info about an adoption service from NFB which I found
useful and a very useful tip for anyone contemplating adoption.

Debby Day runs the NFB adoption services from her home at (206)
733-8159.  If you are trying to adopt a blind child, are a parent
of a blind child, or just interested in raising blind children she
can help.  She has a very small budget and mostly uses volenteers
to help.  She can send information on why blind persons make good
parents and will even write a letter of recommendation for you to
your social worker if needed.  She has people from around the
country send her info on waiting blind children which she will send
to you if you are trying to adopt.  The cost is minimal.  She only
asks for several stamps to offset her costs and you usually need to
call her instead of her calling you because like I said, she has a
very tight budget.  Her service is excellent and if you are
interested in adoption and are blind I highly recommend calling
her.  (I am sure she would also be glad for any donations or
volenteer assistance)

I am a blind programmer at Alderson-Broaddus College.  Drema and I
have been trying to adopt for about a year.  The adoption social
worker had many questions about how I could manage children, "How
could you tell if your child was doing something dangerous?", "What
would you do if your child ran out into the street?", "How would
you change diapers?", etc.  We had no background raising children
so I got Debby Day to write a letter for me to explain many of
these things to my adoption social worker.  Also I got my mother to
write a letter about how she raised a blind child, my uncle Frank
to write a letter about what it was like to grow up as a sighted
child of a blind father, and my rehab counselor to write to inform
her about how he knew many successful blind parents.  Debby Day
also sent along copies of several articles about blindness and
parenting which my social worker read and put in my file.  After
this I had no more problems with my adoption as regards my being
blind.  It is important that the adoption social worker be informed
if she is to represent you to prospective birth mothers
and other social workers and it is important that she be totally convenced
that blindness will not make a person a bad parent.

That was this past Spring when our home study was being compiled.
In July a birth mother chose us to adopt her beautiful healthy
newborn boy.  He has lots of long very dark brown hair and an
apitite you wouldn't believe.  So it is only a myth that birth
mothers will not want their child to be raised by handicapped
parents.  But as I said above, your social worker being totally
convenced that you will make good parents is the starting point.
The following tip I believe helped us a good deal and would also
help anyone trying to adopt.

Note:  I am not a member of NFB but simply a very greatful recipiant of
       very good quality adoption services.  If others know of similar services
       that help handicapped persons with adoption and/or parenting issues,
       lets here them.

Here is a tip for anyone trying to adopt.  Gather many photographs
of your childhood, your spouses childhood, your marriage, and life
together.  Make sure that they show interesting events or are cute
pictures.  Be sure that you include pictures of your home, yard,
and the baby's room if it appropriate but do not let any pictures
identify your city or anything which will allow the person viewing
them to figure out where you live.  Next, arrange them on pages and
type a brief description under each picture.  Again be sure that
the descriptions do not identify who you are or where you live.
They can say your first name but not your last name, your brother's
and sister's first names, identify parents as mother and father,
etc.  Do not tell names for other people in the pictures for
example:
"Roger's third grade teacher helping him paint a picture."
Take all of these pages of pictures to a print shop and have a
hundred copies of each page printed, collated, and stapled.  Give
about half of these packets to your adoption social worker to send
out with your home study and also to show birth mothers.

The picture booklet will help your home study to really stand out
from all others received by a social worker or birth mother.  Just
imagin it.  If you had a large stack of home studies with only 1
fuzzy portrait of the couple in each except for 1 which had 50
pictures showing the couple as children playing and having fun,
camping, picnicing, sewing, woodworking, etc. and showing their
home, neighborhood, yard, and even the room in which the child will
stay then which would you choose?  Birth mothers are usually only
shown a single page of very general information about Mr. and Mrs.
X.  If your page can be augmented by a several page picture booklet
showing your lives it might just give the birth mother a sense that
she knows your family and can trust you to provide a rich childhood
for her child.

Also if you are interested in adoption or birth parent issues you
may wish to join the adoption mailing list.  Send your request to
ADOPTION-REQUEST@THINK.COM.  The actual mailing list is at
ADOPTION@THINK.COM.

				Roger

Internet address:  MYERS@AB.WVNET.EDU

Mailing address:   Roger Myers
                   Route 3, Box 269-D
                   Philippi, WV  26416