HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.cobol
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
From: <REGHC@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Date: Thursday, 23 Jul 1992 10:29:02 EDT
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center

It is nothing to feel shameful about, just knowing Cobol is a good experience
to have.  I learned Cobol on IBM 360 a few years ago and would like to now
brush up on my skills.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: More Distortions
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 16:48:51 GMT

I NEVER said I thought we should reduce the national deficit by selling
'rape passes' which would allow people to freely rape Special Olympics
participants and nuns. This is more propaganda from the Republican dirty
tricks machine.
From: peerson@neyman.ucdavis.edu (Jan Peerson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
Subject: Re: BUSH
Date: 22 Jul 92 03:21:05 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre

In article <28dmd!g.rdc@netcom.com> rdc@netcom.com (Bob D. Crane) writes:
>
>just to get the fire going for this new group:
>
>
>	Clinton is a homo.

. . . sapiens.
From: thinman@netcom.com (Technically Sweet)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep: Trekkie
Date: 24 Jul 92 19:27:52 GMT
Organization: International Foundation for Internal Freedom

"They should have killed her with pepper".

-- 

Lance Norskog

Data is not information is not knowledge is not wisdom.
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Business (100 words)
Date: 24 Jul 92 13:15:56 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


``Let's put it over there, in the sun, where people will see it.'' 
``No, leave it in the shade. Heat damages seafood.''
They stood around the wooden cart, arguing.
``We'll sell crabs and eels and mussels and cockles.''
``We'll just stick to our mission statement.  Mussels aren't on that
statement.''
``I'll be Sales Director.''
``Being in the shade is no longer appropriate.''
``Sales Executive.  But corporate structure decisions are taken by the
Commercial Executive.''
``Did you bring anything to sell?''
Johnson had been right all along. Between them, they could not run
a whelk stall. 

-- Ken "Look around you" Johnson


-- 
////  Advice to dieters:          ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////    Never eat more than       ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////    you can carry.            ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////               -- Miss Piggy  ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
From: rufus@cis.umassd.edu (Rui N Campos)
Subject: Re: AIDS and those damn democrats
Organization: University of Massachusetts Dartmouth
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 22:26:48 GMT

In <2A7034C8.24687@ics.uci.edu> craigm@chateau-rouge.ics.uci.edu (Craig MacFarlane) writes:

>Since this is alt.politics.bush, can anybody confirm or deny the following
>statement made by Bush?  Paraphrased, "AIDS is not the government's
>responsibility.  And AIDS will not go away until teenagers stop having sex."
>I'll restrain from letting loose on this one until I find out whether
>or not he actually said this.

>Craig

I don't know if he said this, but I wouldn't be surprised!  But regardless of
wether or not he said this, this quote is pure idiocy!  One only has to draw
a parallel to the bubonic plague to see how stupid this is:
"The Plague is not the government's responsibility.  And the Plague will not
go away until teenagers stop playing with dead animals."
Absolutely stupid!

(sarcasm alert)
I suppose we moral people should just stand by and let 
these promiscuous heathens die!  I mean our morals are much more important 
than the lives of your children.  
(sarcasm off)

The unfortunate truth is that because AIDS infection is tied to sex 
(especially because of homo-sex), and drugs, that there is a huge stigma
surrounding solutions to stop its spread.  The answers to the problem are
morally unacceptable to a relative minority of the population, and 
therefore are unthinkable, and undoable!  It just proves once again that
anyone who claims to be a moral person should take a closer look at themselves.
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Homophobia
Date: 29 Jul 92 01:08:42 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

CJ:
|>I've always had a problem with hidebound straitjacketed thinkers,
|>who act as if language were regulated by some kind of LOGICAL
|>RIGID RULE SYSTEM.  Living languages aren't, they haven't ever, 
|>and they won't.  Usage is language is usage.  

This from the person who refuses to accept timeframe, hopefully, and
irregardless as words.

Sheesh, at least I got to play Boggle with trademarks as allowable
words.

mr HEINOUS
knowing full well how foolish he is to kid a REFERENCE LIBRARIAN
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: What Pisses Me Off
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 92 04:37:13 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)

: Ya know what really pisses me off.  It's when there's some guy driving 
: in the fast lane of the freeway, and he's matching the speed of the 
: lane to his right, even though there's a mile and a half of empty lane
: in front of him.  
: 
: Thats it.  As of today, I'm instituting a new law on the freeways of 
: California:  
: 
: Thou shalt move faster than the vehicles in the lane to your right, or get 
: thy slow ass out of the lane.  

Brilliant. Absobloodylutely Brilliant.
welcome to america.

and congratulations on having had the bizarre experience of Waking Up
and noticing that there exists no such thing as Lane Discipline 
in the consciousness of the average american driver.

see, the reason they drive side by side is because they ALL KNOW EACH OTHER!
but i bet they don't know You, do they?
that's because you're asleep.
get a clue.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant | how DARE they cancel Dennis Miller?             |
| poisoned electric head |                               andrew palfreyman |
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rdc@netcom.com (Bob D. Crane)
Subject: My co-workers (WAS: Re: can't make a dlee work)
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 92 00:35:03 GMT
Organization: Symbolics Institute


"I'm a moron."
    --David 'Milhouse' Lee,
      dlee@usc.edu

"Tunamelts.  Nope.  Plain and simple: they just can't be beat."
    --Dave 'neural net' Noelle,
      dnoelle@cs.ucsd.edu

.









-- 
_________________________________________________________________
Bob D. Crane
Research Programmer,			Programmer		
Blue Engineering Project		Project Soar6
Symbolic Institute			School of Computer Science
University of Illinois
	
E-mail:  rdc@netcom.com
_______________________________________________________________

"The spear in the others heart is the spear in your own,
			you are he"   
	                     ---------  Attributed to Surak.
From: gj@comlab.oxford.ac.uk (Craig Shergold)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Lass Dich geh'n und Du wirst Koenig sein
Date: 28 Jul 92 23:43:43 GMT
Organization: Scrabster and Eriboll Armoured Kilt and Exploding Sporran Company
X-Current-CD: Brave and Crazy, Melissa Etheridge

---
Nothing takes the taste out of Marmite toast like unrequited love.
The sky is blue, the grass is lush and ripe to sleep on.  Sleeping
is all she will though.  Damn.  Well the boot is on the other shoe
now.  Oh, no man knows: through what wild centuries roves back the
rose.  I always wanted to be different, and now I are.  You should
never have a hobby that eats.  I am nothing, and everything.

I am old enough to have heard of her, but too old to remember.  We
shared a continental breakfast, of Huit Heures Bix au Lait.  I was
happy enough to levitate a small cow.  Well you know what they say
about best laid plans.  Never fear to love the imperfect beauty of
a perfect girl.  A closed mouth gathers no feet.  Lack of patience
is often an asset.  Fools rush in the minute McDonalds' opens.

I kissed her on the hand.  One has to start somewhere.  Before you
meet your handsome prince you have to kiss a lot of toads.  I have
no angst to grind.  Lost lanes of Queen Anne's lace.  The hour for
truth and her.  And again, in solitary pantomime.  This, too, will
pass.  I do not find philosophy very helpful.  Ah, bidets are here
again.  It is dangerous to tell the people that laws are not just.
The business of Government is not the government of business.  Pas
d'elle yeux Rhone que nous.  If we complicate things they get less 
simple.  Yes.

Come into the xystus, Melissa.  One yuppie in the morning can ruin
your whole day.  The absolute certainty of love does not excuse it
of its courtesy.  An Irish bull is always pregnant.  Even Margaret
Thatcher cannot live for ever.  You know, I live in this wonderful
part of town: you see them all, on a Sunday morning, washing their
video recorders.  If the Germans ever come back lad, I am lighting
flares.  The combination is delightful and new.  It makes you look
like a warm, caring, sensitive human being.  Can I help you madam?

Sorry, cannot think of any jokes.  Maybe next time.  That came out
a bit glib, don't you think?
---                                                              /
                                                                /
Damn, and I always thought cj /was/ Jane Austen.               / g
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Sex survey
From: mborgerding@desire.wright.edu
Date: 29 Jul 92 13:53:54 EST
Organization: Wright State University 

TWIMC,
	I was wondering a few things about the *average* person's sex life.
Please take the time to fill out this survey, please try to be truthful.
I will post (anonymously) some statistics/responses.  Don't feel obliged to 
answer any question that feels intrusive.

1. How many sexual partners have you had in your lifetime?

2. How often do you have sex?

3. Do you masturbate?

4. How long does one f**k usually take you?

5. Are you circumcised? (not necessarily a male-only question)

6. Have you ever had sex involving:
Ropes or other tying/binding intruments?

Food (whipped cream,pickles, ice cubes,etc.)?

oils?

strange clothing? (underoos don't count)

more than one partner?

7. What is the most positions you have ever done in one night?

8. Have you ever had sex with someone whose last name you never found out?

9. Do you enjoy giving oral sex?

10. How many orgasms do you have in an average night of passion?

11. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10

12. Describe yourself as a lover.

13. Pertinent info:
	Age:
	Gender:
 	Race:
				Mark "just curious" B

					-Mark just-curious B 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Rapture of the Junkie
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 20:46:36 GMT


The beach, the wonderful beach. Im lying on the beach, the hot sand beneath
me and the waves, the water splashing over me. How tranquil, an idyll.

No wait, this is not the beach. This is downtown DC, and the water is not the
briny deep but a cop splashing water on my face. I guess now would be a good
time to put my clothes back on.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dsh@cslvs4.csl.ncsu.edu (Doug Holtsinger)
Subject: Re: BUSH
Reply-To: dsh@csl36h.csl.ncsu.edu (Doug Holtsinger)
Organization: North Carolina State University
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 17:12:42 GMT

In article <1992Jul26.210349.1@msscc.med.utah.edu> 
finerty@msscc.med.utah.edu (I_AM_NOTHING_AND_KNOW_EVEN_LESS) writes:

>dsh@csl36h.csl.ncsu.edu (Doug Holtsinger) writes:

>>finerty@msscc.med.utah.edu (I_AM_NOTHING_AND_KNOW_EVEN_LESS) writes:

>>> the types of abortion in which limbs and head etc. are visible 
>>> enough are late 2nd and 3rd trimester abortions which
>>> constitue a very small percentage (sorry no data for this). 

>> Sometimes these fetuses are born alive after an abortion attempt. 

> what are you trying to say by this. 

That fetuses are sometimes born alive after an abortion attempt.

> an abortion attempt implies failure
> which implies that no real harm was done. 

And an abortion success implies that the fetus is killed. 

> if the amnion was broken then most
> likely the foetus would die, unless it was in the very late 2nd or 3rd terms.

I thought you were only referring to late 2nd and 3rd trimester fetuses.

> foetus' at this point are often capable of living outside the womb with
> extensive medical attention. 	

So why don't they get a chance to live?


Doug Holtsinger

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.smouldering.dog.zone,to.wasatch
From: finerty@msscc.med.utah.edu (that's mr. wonderful to you)
Subject: sad utah story  :(
Organization: University of Utah Computer Center
Date: 29 Jul 92 10:39:15 MST

so...i have been here almost one year and it has taken until now for me to get 
the best utah story yet. since the department i am in is associated with the 
medical school here, we are right next to the hospital and as such the hospital 
cafeteria as well. two days ago i go down to the cafeteria to buy myself an 
apple fritter for a snack. i am wearing my black Guinness shirt purchased (but 
not by me) in dublin. everything is going smoothly until the woman who is 
working the cash register, who i have seen almost every day since i got here, 
makes the following remark. "is that the book of records?" she says pointing at 
my shirt. i almost burst out laughing and crying at the same time. i managed to 
keep my composure (in a small bottle) and told her that it was a beer from 
dublin. she responded,"i feel so cultured now!". now i know i am in utah. 
actually, something similar happened a short while ago. a woman working in the 
cafeteria was happy to see i was wearing a Guinness shirt ( a different one, i 
have three). i asked her if she ever had it (Guinness) and she said yes, in 
malaysia, where she is from. this other guy working there, who i previously 
thought was hip, had never heard of it. i try to remind myself that i am a 
patient boy, i wait, i wait, i wait. (fugazi). oh well.


	PJF--->Biochem. grad student. "suffering *is* my game."


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Minister of Marqaha)
Subject: Re: Spontaneous Bifucation
Organization: Ministry of M.
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 00:59:32 GMT

waterman@cs.brandeis.edu writes:
>
>  [BRILLIANT THEORY of T.B BIFURCATION...]
>
>  In summary, then, a species of t.b under-dwellers is evolving,
>existing in a niche fostered by their almost immediate inclusion
>into cognoscenti killfiles, which also permits them the ability
>to communicat amongst themselves almost without fear of detection.
>The delineable bifurcation is furthered also by the inclusion of
>established t.b society members into under-dweller killfiles,
>limitting their direct vulnerability to reprisal.
>
>--ts	Anyone have a good name for them?

I call them 'The Tumor'.

A few weeks ago, when I first became aware of this phenomenon, I 
envisioned the topology of t.b space as having developed a sizeable
region of non-bizarreness, which (because of killfiles) was folding 
in on itself to form an isolated bubble.  This bubble contains pure 
boredom (like most of Usenet), yet it remains lodged within the sphere 
of bizarrness.  Fortunately, the rest of us can still see each other 
if we lean a bit, and we can shout to one another around the bubble.  

The question is:  will the bubble shrink or grow?

At first, I believed it would shrink of its own accord, as the parties 
responsible for maintaining it grow bored with each other and slip 
away, one at a time.

But I was foolishly overlooking something important.  This bubble is
responsible for roughly 50% of the articles posted to t.b, and that
is what outside world sees when it looks in.  Because of this, the 
bubble has begun recruiting new boring people.  The bubble is *growing*.

That is why I call it 'The Tumor'.

----------   ----------   ----------   ----------   ----------   ----
Rigler                             (I have spoken.  I pass the pipe.)
From: snyeva01@uctvax.uct.ac.za
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Bouncing song
Date: 23 Jul 92 11:00:32 GMT
Organization: University of Cape Town

In article <1992Jul22.141038.202079@uctvax.uct.ac.za>, mncmic02@uctvax.uct.ac.za writes:
> I like boincing
> Boing boing boing
> Up and down 'till I get a pain in me groin
> 
> Met this girl named Dennis
> And in passing I mentioned I was very good at tennis
> She said "That doesn't need announcing, 
>           judging by the way your balls are bouncing"
> 
>   
> 
> Aren't sig files great?
> -----
>   Gus (not while I'm eating vomit) the Gorilla
> 
> "Get it while it's hot" 
>               -Gus
> 
> "Or even if it's cold"
>               - Gus again
> ----

 Where is your sense of decency? Do you have no respect for the immortal
 "Not the nine 'o clock news" team? The correct and proper version goes
 something like this:

   Bouncing down the club with this bird named Dennis
   I said to her in passing I was pretty good at tennis
   She looked me up and down and said it doesn't need announcing
   Judging by the way your balls are bouncing!

   I like bouncing..........

   
 And while I'm in the mood what is this "Gus (not while I'm eating vomit)
 the Gorilla".  Do you insist on showing your obviously unimaginative sense
 of humour by trying to rip off the GODS of comedy, MONTY PYTHON.

         You deserve to be poked with a pointed stick
         ..how about a punch in the head
         ..or a dagger up the clitoris?


     pppp         sss     i
     p   p       s   s    i
     p    p     s         i
     p   p       s        i
     pppp         s       i
     p             s      i
     p          s   s     i
     p           s s      i
     p            s       i

                                                           Dead people are cool       
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: SEX
Organization: University of Virginia
Distribution: misc.misc
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 18:33:29 GMT

In article <1992Jul29.170537.8174@asuvax.eas.asu.edu> ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes:
>rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>> is there really ANY thread which should be in talk.bizarre, 
>> soc.culture.british, AND alt.sex.
>
>     Don't have any Brit friends, do you Rob.
>

No, and judging by the frighteningly DULL thread which inspired my first
question, Im glad i dont.....
From: nj@magnolia.Berkeley.EDU (The Automatic Pnews)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: to catch a phrase
Date: 26 Jul 92 01:52:57
Organization: Postcarcinogenic Bliss, Inc.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: magnolia.berkeley.edu


	       "carasso is the dot that separates misc and test"

				     is the

	      "carasso is the dot that separates talk and bizarre"

								...OF THE 90'S!

 ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #(
 The Automatic Pnews attributes half this wonderful realization to Mx Silverio
 ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #( (@ @+ ^# #(
From: news@netarch.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Re: DONT CROSS POST TO TALK.BIZARRE
Date: 29 Jul 92 16:46:58 GMT

This is an automatic reply.

Your article was received here on Wed Jul 29 09:46:58 PDT 1992.
"netarch.com" is Network Architecture Consulting, located in Fremont,
California.  We run C News here.  

Internet:       postmaster@netarch.com
UUCP:           decwrl!netarch!postmaster
Voice:          +1 510 713-8152

Your article as received here follows:
==========
From: jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu (Larry Jewell)
Newsgroups: misc.test
Subject: Re: DONT CROSS POST TO TALK.BIZARRE
Date: 27 Jul 92 00:27:38 GMT
Organization: Purdue University

In article <5745@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>Reading this I am reminded of the immortal words of Starcap'n Ra:     
>
>                       "Fuck off, geek."
>
>rp -- recycling othe peoples shorts

Actually, you're one of the few people he speaking to in such a fashion (since
he's in my kill file, he can't speak that way to me.)
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Primarily because you're the kind of geek who'd take that abuse.

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Sorry, forgot to mention that last one was the last one.

BTW, you go into the kill file too.  Bye bye.

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-- 
#Larry W. Jewell (ex-USN) WWII-L Listowner    jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu     # 
#"Sunday's horoscope is noteworthy because of its strange, sudden and wholly#
#unpredictable and inexplicable occurrences, affecting all phases of life." #
#--"Your Horoscope," L.A. Evening Herald Express, Saturday, Dec. 6, 1941.   #
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: sex survey
From: mborgerding@desire.wright.edu
Date: 24 Jul 92 14:32:01 EST
Organization: Wright State University 

In article <1992Jul24.015007.28341@udel.edu>, bower@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Tyson Bower) writes:
> Why don't you just ask us to all send in our answers to the 500 question
> purity test? 

	Because then I wouldn't get my jollies reading the answers.

> What are you, some kind of sicko?  Stick your nose up someone else's
> sex life.

	Yes, and that's not my nose.

> Or better yet, get a sex life of your own.  You obviously sound like
> you need a good lay.
	I have one, thanks. Yes, Your wife/mother hasn't been doing the job
very well.

> I'm sure someone around here would offer to whip you for your ignorance,
> but I have no doubt you'd enjoy it thoroughly.
	I don't do pain, man.

This followup to my survey disproves my theory that nobody who reads t.b is
*seriously* uptight.  How'd your toilet training go when you were a child,
Tyson?  Did your mother breastfeed you (she did me)?
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:23732 alt.drugs:13660