Newsgroups: bit.listserv.christia
Date:         Fri, 10 Apr 1992 14:27:23 MST
From:         Becky Harris <ISPBJH@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: Becky and Mormonism

On Wed, 8 Apr 1992 13:09:04 PDT Doug Gould said:

>I'm truly saddened by your expression of former faith in the Church, and
>Joseph, the Prophet.  They're very dear to my heart.  And I can imagine
>they were to you, too, at one time.  Like you, I would feel a great loss if
>I reached the conclusion you have, to renounce them.

Doug, you're confused here, what I feel is a great disappointment in them.

>>. . . When I started reading things
>>on this list from Nuzz, I decided that I would find the books he quoted
>>from somehow, and read all that I could, because the things he posted
>>were offensive to me. . . .

Let me restate here for you, that the things I researched from Nuzz's
references were *exactly* as he had stated them.  They had not been
changed in ANY way.

>May I ask: was Nuzz the beginning of your "rude awakening" to some of the
>mysteries and more difficult doctrines of the Gospel?

No, I have always been in search of what is true about the God I want to
worship.

>I just find it very disheartening to think that his influence was the
>beginning of your falling away.

I do not consider what happened to me as a falling away.  What happened
was an active decision to remove myself from a church that had been,
and will probably remain deceitful.

>>. . . Some of the things that I had
>>learned that I did not believe like polygamy, men becoming Gods, they
>>would eventually hear, just as I had.  I knew I would have to stand on
>>one side or the other with these issues.  I knew eventually they would
>>ask me and I wanted to be honest. . . .
>
>I think you were right to want to get to the bottom, so to speak, of these
>doctrines in order to not confuse your children.  It's a shame you weren't
>more carefully taught, yourself, growing up in the Church, so you would be
>prepared with the faith and understanding to know how to deal with them.

Doug, what is it with you...either I was never converted because I never
believed in polygamy, or I was never converted because I was not taught
correctly, and I am sure that as soon as I deny this one, you will find
another reason to explain why I left this church.  The facts speak for
themselves; these doctrines you cling to are simply not true.

My denial:  I *was* taught very carefully.  I could quote the 13 articles
of faith to you just like your own children can.  I have a notebook full
of perfect attendance awards for primary and mutual, and have a diploma
that certifies that I completed all junior and high school requirements
to graduate from seminary.  I had all my yearly bishops interviews that
were required.  My parents were both active in leadership positions all
my life.  I hope you are getting the picture by now, if not I could
go on and on.

>so you would be prepared with the faith and understanding to know how
>to deal with them.

I was very carefully taught. The fact is, my family, my priesthood leaders,
and teachers went to great lengths to prepare me.  I consider most of them
to be as deceived as I once was.

>You see, in all humility, I don't have a difficult time accepting polygamy,
>nor what I consider to be a glorious concept that all sons and daughters of
>our Heavenly Father may progress eternally until we receive our crown of
>glory and become gods, even as He has done.

Doug, have you taught your own sons and daughters, line upon line, to
embrace the practice of polygamy?  Do you encourage your daughter to
prepare for the day of its return to earth.  Do you and your wife expound
its virtues to your children in family home evenings?  Have you ever told
your daughter (if any) that you look forward to her participation in the
practice of polygamy?  Have you shared with your family your anticipation
and your ease of acceptance to this principle?  I doubt not, and if I am
wrong, I would very much like to know what your daughter's response was.
I have a daughter, and hope for wonderful things for her.  It is beyond my
comprehension to know how you can wish for such a disgusting thing to ever
come near your own daughter.  And if you have taught her line upon line,
then I assume that you have been doing the opposite of what people in my
life did.  Can I assume that you have prepared her faith in polygamy, as
a child, as a young girl, and as a young women.  Did you, in the beginning
keep the language simple so she could follow you, and gradually as she got
older became more explicit the process of revelation of this principle.
Is this what you mean when you say "line by line, precept upon precept"?
Have you told your wife what's in store for her when you become your own
God?

What is truly sad about this, is once she was a precious little girl
who didn't believe in polygamy and like most little girls who grow up
probably thought she would some day give her heart away to a man who
would love only her.

>Somewhere along the way it seems someone (or perhaps several someones)
>dropped the ball.

Wrong again Doug.  Has it ever occurred to you that the "lie" just couldn't
be propped up any longer?

>>All of his responses were in reference
>>to my question of whether men could be gods, and whether our Heavenly
>>Father was inferior to His own God. . . .
>
>From your description, it seems to me your stake president didn't spend
>enough time listening and teaching, nor did he show you enough love or
>spiritual discernment in order to sense how deeply disturbed you must have
>been.  I am truly saddened by this realization.

Maybe my description was not clear.  He was just as pleasant and sweet
as you are Doug, and gave me just about the same answer...I don't know,
I don't know, and I don't know.

>>My search is not over.  I have found it lonely and difficult to leave the
>>church.  My family has shown their disappointment in me, and this is hard
>>to accept.  I've found myself without the community of friends that the
>>Mormon church had provided, because one of the first things I was taught
>>was that anything outside the LDS church was an abomination to God.
>>Thankfully, this isn't so.
>
>I'm also thankful this isn't so, Becky.  I'm am sorry you were told that
>anything outside of the LDS Church would be an abomination to God, because
>it simply isn't so.  There is much that is "virtuous, lovely, or of good
>report or praiseworthy" in other Christian denominations--indeed, in many
>of the other religions of the world.  I hope you recognize where that quote
>comes from: Joseph Smith's inspired recording of the Articles of Faith.  In
>closing, I'd like to quote just a little more of article number 13: ". . .
>we follow the admonition of Paul," Becky, "We believe all things, we hope
>all things, and hope to be able to endure all things."  I wonder if you
>have pondered these thoughts recently.

I want to believe all things that are true, hope all things that God has
promised, and endure all things that are in the will of God.  I left the
church to do this.  The rest of this article of faith says, "If there is
anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek
after these things".  I do this too.

>you were seemingly unable to
>"believe all things" when you learned of eternal principles that you hadn't
>been taught at an earlier age.  It seems you were not able to "endure all
>things" when the buffetings and the trials came your way.  I'm truly sorry,
>and saddened by your story.

You're right Doug, I am unable to believe that God may be having sex with
one of his wife's at this moment.  I am unable to believe that there are
billions of Gods in the heavens.  I am unable to believe that you Doug, will
someday be a God that will populate another world with spirit babies.  I am
unable to believe that I should teach and encourage my children to look
forward to the practice of polygamy.  I am sad that you have compromised
so much.

>Would that it weren't so, and that it could still have a happy ending.

God is very able to provide a happy ending to my story.  You, on the other
hand are dependent on your own abilities, how much you can do to please
him, on your temple attendance, and many other works.  I have trusted the
Lord to care for me and my family.  What you say about my ending, you say
about all who don't join or choose to leave your church, what is offensive
and misleading is that you *don't* say it, instead you say there are many
things that are lovely, virtuous, and of good report in other churches.

Becky Harris
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