HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: re.ritual abuse info?
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 07:07:29 GMT

anonymus+703@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu wrote:

: I've been told by a friend who is a ritual abuse survivor
: that the times when I "flip out" coincide closely with the
: "ritual abuse" calendar.  She urged me to get more info about
: the "cult calendar" as she called it.  So here I am.  Does anyone
: have info about special dates for cult stuff that they'd be
: willing to share with me?  Thanks ahead of time ...

Common dates for this sort of thing are the solstices, and the pagan holidays.
Watch your friend closely around Oct. 31...

Generally, pagans celebrate holidays about every 1-1/2 months, and misguided
people seek to "gain spiritual power" by doing ritual abuse, ritual murder,
etc. of either people or animals (cats are frequently a target around Oct. 31)
on or around these dates.  Check your local "New Age" bookstore for more
information and literature.
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG                  erc@apple.com                     801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: larry@bradley.bradley.edu (L. D. Stratton)
Subject: Re: Child ***** !!! SPOILER !!! *****
Organization: Bradley University
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 18:23:29 GMT

In <1992Oct9.171425.7557@muddcs.claremont.edu> uribe@jarthur.claremont.edu (Lydia Uribe) writes:

>Ode writes:
>> I *LIKED* the sexy things he did to me. Though I didn't know anything
>> about sex, and had no idea what the word sexy meant, he made me feel
>> so good in ways that no one else did. Some of the things he did to me
>> then are among the things that I love having done to me now. This guy
>> knew how to push the right buttons. If he had been a normal guy who 
>> liked women, he'd have been the most popular guy in town. Instead, he
>> used all his talents on me. And I loved it. I think sexuality is
>> instinctual, and I was responding to that instinct, even though I was
>> a tiny little girl. 
  Lydia adds:
>Oh god, the chord this struck in me!  I too could have written this -- and
>I still can't forgive myself for having enjoyed it and gone along with it
>for six or seven years.  And I can't forgive myself for sometimes
>remembering some of what was done to me and *still* getting aroused at the
>memory!  What my father did to me was wrong and sick, and I enjoyed it -- so
>what does that make me??

   Don't feel you are alone.  My entire education about sex was at the 
   hands of my father.... and I enjoyed the sexual awakening of my own
   body.  I too went along with it, for 10 years.  My rationale:  sure
   I enjoyed the experience but that was inside of me,  the other things
   that were inside me were not me but the appendages of the person who
   was supposed to protect me but rather used and deceived me.

   What does the feeling that I enjoyed it make me? ---- Human.


Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: stote@tomcat.den.mmc.com (M. Stote)
Subject: Re: holidays...
Organization: Martin Marietta Astronautics Group
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 20:04:33 GMT

Hi Ted,

	I'd write to the friends too, except I know that for me Michael 
gets pretty pissed with peopel being presumptuous enough to talk to him
without his initiating it - a lot to do with being a teenager I think :).

(Note all you who responded to Michaels cry for help last week, this is 
not aimed at you.  We both thank you from the bottom of our hearts for
your responses :) )

Geeze this is a long way of saying that I don't have any great ideas.  I really
just wanted to thank you for raising the question, cause Shelly has been 
getting a little on edge and I didn't make the connection :(.  Once I know
it just makes it a lot easier to deal with, otherwise I tend to just assume
it has soemthing to do with me!

Anyway take care & here's lots of hugs if they are safe!

--
Fare Well

Mike Stoughton
stote@den.mmc.com
From: anon-1253@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Yet another test msg
Date: 7 Oct 92 15:32:47 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

Sorry to have to clutter everything up with yet another test msg...
Just wanna see if this will actually post anon before I say anything.



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: stuck
From: anonymus+322@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (poohbear)
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 17:36:21 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service


Bear began to sigh, and then found he couldn't 
because he was so tightly stuck; and a tear rolled
down his eye, as he said:
"Then would you read a Sustaining Book, such as
would help and comfort a Wedged Bear in Great
Tightness?"





help
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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: --none given--
From: anonymus+1401@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (darkangel)
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 00:46:54 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service

this is for Peter(?)...


thanks...

but, in accepting me, haven't you also really accepted yourself?  :)

and there is no reason for you to feel guilty....
you were a child, you were hurt, and you were offered comfort(unfortunately, by
those who hurt you...which just confuses things.).  So naturally, you accepted that comfort.  Because you
were hurt...not because you accepted what they had done to you..(how could
you?? you were a child...and you really have to try to remember that.)


(and, believe me..I know this all makes sense in terms of logic...but actually
feeling that it is true is the hard part...
I'm working on that one myself.)

Maybe the way they acted after abusing you would make more sense to you if you
knew their motives...(?)

Again, here I wish I could help..but I'm not clear on this myself yet.

(and it feels kind of strange knowing I'm writing to an electronic
phantom...even though I know there is actually someone who will read
this...which seems even funnier since I don't do well with people I don't
know.. :) )

I hope some of this makes sense....


darkangel 



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From: bsherman@acsu.buffalo.edu (Brian C. Sherman)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: where the perps are?
Summary: read it.
Keywords: something I've always wondered...
Date: 15 Oct 92 01:28:10 GMT
Organization: UB

Where are they today?  What are their lives like?  Have they suffered?
Do they realize what they've done?  Do they have remorse?

I know where one of mine is.  He's had a hard time.  He's a few years older
than me, had an abusive childhood too.  His dad was an alcoholic.

The other, I don't know.  She's probably around 25 - I heard that she had
a kid, and is living with her boyfriend.  I don't know if her home life
was shitty, but considering the age at which all this occurred, although
she was a 'partner in crime' she could have been really warped by the
whole experience as well.

I don't have any hatred towards them, because I realize this.  It's
kinda strange.  I just feel sorry for them.



-Brian
From: anon-1287@twwells.com
Subject: karla
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 06:45:35 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com


goodbye, karla.   love.



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From: zitsky+@CS.CMU.EDU (Mark Ryan Miller)
Subject: Re: hi..
Organization: Carnegie Mellon University
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 20:44:53 GMT

|> >and things like that, another just kept saying things and touching me, and the
|> >last (and most recent) I think of as the worst, not only because the perp was
|> >my cousin, but because again here I am confused as to what to call it..he had
|> >also touched me.  This one only my so knows about...
|> >
|> >Anyway, I have gotten help..I really needed it..and I think it is safe to say
|> >that I wouldn't be alive to type this right now if not for my beloved so...who
|> >was the first decent male I have met in a long time..he's been unbelievably
|> >helpful..but he needs people to help him understand things..
|> >

It is really confusing when you don't know how to stop people from hurting you.
Sometimes people try to convince you that it's normal.  Fortunately for both
of us, we're learning how to say 'NO'!!

Hope everything goes well with you.

--Mark
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: doug@cdc.hp.com (Doug Sojourner)
Subject: Re: Emotional Letter
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 21:09:38 GMT
Reply-To: dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
Organization: HP California Design Center, Santa Clara, CA
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.4 PL6]

D. 'krikket' Krick (krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us) wrote:
Origionally when I wrote the following letter, I was going to just throw it in
the trash heap, since it seems that many of my posts here lately have been just
about as usefull...

	krikket,

	I've found use in a number of your posts, so I'm glad
	you aren't throwing them in the trash heap.


[Very emotional letter deleted for bandwidth]
I'm just feeling lost in this world of emotion, and I wish I could just give
up.  (Not suicide, just give up all emotion.)

	Sorry to hear the emotions seem to be overwhelming you.  I
	don't have any advice, or any words to make you feel better,
	but I want to say I care.  HUGS if you want them!

	I have the opposite problem -- I have feelings inside that
	feel like they should be expressed with gushing tears and loud
	shouts, but I can't seem to do that (even a little bit). Oh
	well, ...

	Doug Sojourner

	dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
	anon-1158@twwells.com
	anonymus+444@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
From: nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu (Nancy Lebovitz)
Subject: Re: LOVE !!!
Organization: UDel, School of Life & Health Sciences
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 01:10:43 GMT

Congratulations!
From: blackbourner@bvc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Idiotic Surveys (was: Please Help)
Date: 9 Oct 92 08:45:26 CDT
Followup-To: /dev/null
Organization: Buena Vista College, Storm Lake, IA

In article <61017@mimsy.umd.edu>, scottk@cs.umd.edu (Scott King Walker) writes:
> In article <58710001@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com> kingsley@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com (Kingsley Morse) gives no explaination, and yet asks:
>>              Please answer these 9 questions and return.
> 
> Everyone, Yes, I KNOW... when someone posts something like this, I should
> just let them hear silence... OR, if I have to say something, I should say
> it right back to the person who posted this.  *sigh*  I just can't do that
> right now, I am sorry.
> 
> Dear Kingsley.  This has NOTHING to do with our recovery, nor do I think,
> with yours.  Please go away, or at least stop posting such things.  If you
> had any legitimate excuse for asking us these questions, you would have 
> explained what this personal information was to be used for, and you would
> have given a guarentee of confidentiality.  
> 


It was posted to many different groups. 

Erin Sue
From: zitsky+@CS.CMU.EDU (Mark Ryan Miller)
Subject: Re: Short Message
Organization: Carnegie Mellon University
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 20:50:58 GMT

Well, krikket, I was tempted to pass up your note, but I responded to
one of your earlier ones...

I haven't been on asar very long, but it would probably help you more
if you stay.  I don't know if anyone is ostracizing you.  That depends
on whether you want help, or are just saying 'Look what I did!'.

Wish you well.

--Mark
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: males only:  shaving
From: emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp)
Date: 7 Oct 92 20:03:11 -0600

In article <Bvo7I3.8D7.2@cs.cmu.edu>  writes:
..
>Maybe those reasons are partially right, but the real  reason was
>none of them.  I  realize that now and I realized it then as soon
>as I finished doing it and  first  put  my  hand down and touched
>myself.  *I felt like a little boy again!*   I am sure I was trying
>to  recapture  my  innocence, my boyhood, my (please don't laugh,
>this  is painful to  talk  about)  virginity.    Yes,  if  you're
>wondering, I had been fucked.
>
>When I think how dangerous it  was  to  cut off those first hairs
>with my father's straight razor, I shudder.   And although I used
>a  safety  razor  to  shave my balls after  that,  I  can't  help
>wondering  if  secretly  I would like to castrate myself.    This
>thought really chills me.

Perhaps you lost your *normal* composure when you decided to confront
something buried so deep in your past. Using a dangerous razor might
have felt appropriate!!
Xref: sparky alt.sexual.abuse.recovery:6775 soc.motss:43068 soc.bi:13719
From: rsr@soda.berkeley.edu (Roy S. Rapoport)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery,soc.motss,soc.bi
Subject: Re: Abuse and Homosexuality
Date: 13 Oct 1992 20:33:11 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley, CS Undergraduate Association
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Oct9.132856.9103@zip.eecs.umich.edu> fields@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Matthew H. Fields) writes:

->That one's sexual orientation would be such a concern suggests A) problems
->of our societies and B) unexamined concerns left over from abuse imho.

*grin* Was there a doubt of (A)? :)

->Percents: that strongly suggests to me that you're male. We boys tend
->to keep stats on all kinds of things, from our Kinsey numbers to the
->size of our members. :-)

Actually, I quite resent that comment.  Only 45.223% of men have a
fascination with stats.

:)

->this to some other newsgroups (see the newsgroup line above).  You
->may find it interesting to lurk as a reader of those for a while, too,
->and see if you learn anything about how you feel about yourself
->and sexuality from the experience.  But my gut feeling says that

Well, I'd definitely agree ... lurking/posting has helped me _ a lot _ .

->Dr. Matthew H. Fields
->Bisexual intellectual Jewish atheist anarchosocialist eco-feminist
->vegetarian incest-survivor academic classical composer and sometimes
->computer person

*blink* *blink*

Wow.


-- 
Roy S. Rapoport          rsr@soda.berkeley.edu            bdsm@ocf.berkeley.edu
#include <stdio.h>
float kinsey(){int c=random()%601;return (c/100.0);}
main(){srandom(time(0));printf("And now I'm %.2f\n",kinsey());}
From: anon-1201@twwells.com (Jasmyne)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Please Help
Date: 9 Oct 92 03:01:18 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes


              Please answer these 9 questions and return.

1.) Do you think equal rights for men and women is generally a good idea?
Yes                  [ x]
Sometimes            [ ]
No                   [ ]
Haven't heard enough [ ]
Other                [ ]

2.) Are you pro choice?
Yes                  [x ]
Sometimes            [ ]
No                   [ ]
Haven't heard enough [ ]
Other                [ ]

3.) Are you in favor of adoption?
Yes                  [x ]
Sometimes            [ ]
No                   [ ]
Haven't heard enough [ ]
Other                [ ]

4.) Do you think men should be allowed to legally terminate their parental
rights and responsibilities before fetal viability?
Yes                  [ ]
Sometimes            [ ]
No                   [ ]
Haven't heard enough [x ]
Other                [ ]

5.) What sex are you?
Male               [ ]
Female             [x ]

6.) How old are you?
Under 18           [ ]
19 to 65           [ x]
Over 65            [ ]

7.) What religion are you?
Protestant         [ ]
Catholic           [ ]
Jewish             [ ]
Other              [x ]

8.) What political party are you affiliated with?
Democratic         [ x]
Republican         [ ]
Other              [ ]

9.) How many years of education have you completed?
Grade School       [ ]
High School        [ ]
College            [x ] i'm still in this..does that count?
More               [ ]


hope this helped

 Jasmyne



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anonymus+703@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Subject: Re. Music as therapy
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 14:09:28 GMT

Well . . . I use music as therapy, but not so much the singing
or performance of it as the listening to it and dancing to it.
I find that certain types of music and certain songs are excellent
for anger work, particularly because I'm the type of person who
doesn't even know they have angry feelings until something else
brings it out.  Personally, I'd rather have it be a good, raunchy
industrial or hardcore tune bringing out the anger than another
person's (probably unknowing) button-pushing.  So every once in a
while, I crank up some really loud, crashing and raging music,
and dance and scream to the lyrics.  Some that are particularly
effective include "Stigmata" and "Flashback" by Ministry; "Shiver
and Shake" by the Cure; "F*ck You" by the Feederz; "Time Bomb" by GBH;
"Murderous" by Nitzer Ebb; several tunes by the Violent Femmes including
"Never Tell," and "Add It Up"; "Nazi Punks F*ck Off" and "Moral
Majority" by the Dead Kennedys; "My Old Man's a Bum" by DOA . . .
well, you probably get the idea.
If you're interested, I'm making a mix tape with some of this
music (with the quaint title "Eine Kleine Ragemusik") that a fellow
Survivor and I are going to be using for our own anger release,
and once I get it made, I'd be happy to mail you a copy if
you feel safe about giving an address for me to mail it to. If
not, I can give you more ideas for music along this line
you could look for.  This stuff literally saved my life,
and I'd be glad to pass it on if anybody wants it.
Peace & Freedom,
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From: anon-1296@twwells.com (Jasmyne)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: well...
Date: 15 Oct 92 20:12:59 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

i've been having some address changes and my anon-id has changed so if
anyone tried to send me email.....and i know someone did..i wasn't able
to receive it..the forwarding on my new id wasn't turned on..the problem
should have been corrected by now..i hope. Whoever you were..could you
resend it?
i hope that made since.....
other than that..i'\m still alive so i suppose that's a good thing...
Jasmyne



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From: anon-1252@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: where the perps are?
Date: 15 Oct 92 04:44:23 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes


>I don't have any hatred towards them, because I realize this.  It's
>kinda strange.  I just feel sorry for them.

You're a more forgiving sould than I.  If my SO would tell me her perp's
name, I swear I would track him down and kill him.  She won't, unfortunately,
because she doesn't want to see me go to prison over a piece of shit like
him.

JASO



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