HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Just Wondering...
Date: 12 Oct 92 05:29:59 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

amy@vineland.pubs.stratus.com (Amy McNulty) writes:

>In article <16010001@hpdmd48.boi.hp.com> jqtaylor@hpdmd48.boi.hp.com  
>(John Quill Taylor) writes:
>> 
>> This has bothered me for a long time, because I cannot figure it out.
>> Any explanation will be greatly appreciated, especially from a woman.
>> 
>>           The Question: Why do women wear shoulder pads? 

>Now why does the fashion industry put them in clothes in the first  
>place?

Becuase you dumb cunts keep buying clothes with them.

Next question, please.
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: Lou Reed (was Re: credit card peeve)
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 17:23:43 GMT

In article <1992Oct14.015720.8532@dg-rtp.dg.com> A. Jing Hippy writes:

>Peeve: Incredibly poor excuses.  Buddy Holly died before I was born. [ ... ]

By the portentously cruciform pacifier of Sweet Baby Jesus, Dave, this is
the news that has changed my world-view.  All this time I've thought of you
as the Conscience of a Generation, a sage elder statesman of the seed-holes-
in-the-tshirt contingent.  Now the truth is revealed, a crueler revelation
there never was.  Before you were BORN?

ObPeeve: Cat Stevens on the Muzak in the Safeway.

>|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "Often in error, never in doubt." 
rickg@netcom.com |   --- Universal Marketing Department motto
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: credit card peeve
Date: Fri, 09 Oct 92 00:26:06 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <tyhp22b@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
>Peeve: Raving lunatics and screaming children come from miles around just
>to make my life "interesting." (Speaking of which, where's that computer,
>Baldwin?)
	Do you mean to imply that I am a Raving Looney? That'll cost ya,
Hillman! I was gonna throw in the HandyDandyMacPlusCarryingCase for free,
but you blew it. Now you gotta pay extra for it. The picture of the chickens
that is taped to the front of it is NOT for sale. You can go to IHOP and
steal your own. Anyway, if you want it so bad, you've got a car. Come by 
and get it. Sheesh!

ObPeeve: Selling my Mac+. It sucks and both disk drives are broken and
it is missing the 'b' key. The screen flickers a lot and the fan is
really loud. But, I've had it for 7 years and I've grown quite attached 
to it. After all it never ate all of the stuff I had on it's hard drive, 
unlike a certain Mac LC that I could mention. 
	I really can't blame the machine as it looks like a particulaly
destructive virus did the real dirty work. But my Mac+ never let anything
like that happen. 

>Peeve: Paying tax on airplane tickets. Why not just include the tax in the
>listed fare?
	Same reason they don't on most things. If they did, some smart
cookie would advertise their price without the tax and the braindead
public would buy from that person, all the while thinking they were
getting some great deal.

-- 
"Hey, Guido! It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and
you're the lemon merchant. Getit? And he knows it! That's why he's gonna kill
us. So we gotta beat it. Yeah, before he lets loose the marmosets on us! - Ren
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:15474 talk.religion.misc:18047
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,talk.religion.misc
Subject: Re: Oh How the Pope has taken oveer Geoff's Mind
From: kmagnacca@eagle.wesleyan.edu
Date: 11 Oct 92 01:40:27 EDT
Organization: Wesleyan University

In article <1992Oct9.143029.2970@wetware.com>, drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
> ] 
> ] Why do people say "'Roman' Catholic?"  Isn't that redundant?  I'm not
> ] aware that there's any other kind.  
> 
> 
> You are doing very good now....
> 
> Just Keep Thinking that and forget all the AngloCatholics
> as a starter.....
> 
> Why do you think they are commonly called 'Anglicans'
> 
> Because they have all the Angles????

   Are you a total idiot?

   The Anglicans are not "AngloCatholics."  They hold many of the
same traditions but do not have the Pope as head of the church, a
rather fundamental difference.

   BTW, there are other Catholics.  There is the Old Catholic Church
(which is very small, I don't know much about it) and also the Maronites
in Lebanon, who are the leftovers from the brief union of the Eastern
Orthodox and Roman Catholic churches who still remain under the Pope.
I believe there are several other small churches that use the name 
Catholic (catholic -> catholikos, universal).

Karl

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 22:23:48 GMT


>Tim Mefford writes:

>>It just tasted bad.  The group has been somewhat boring lately anyway,
>>someone should post some recipes that actually work.

The trick is to start with foods that are already in edible form before you
start.  For example: pre-baked pie crusts.  As long as you use a ready to
eat filling (e.g. canned peaches, Bacos, mustard, Spam, head cheese, marinated
artichoke hearts, Gummi bears) it's hard to go wrong.

And never forget, you can NEVER have too much horseradish.


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan H. Evans)
Subject: Re: Alarm Surprize! (was Big mac's and student
Reply-To: allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU
Organization: School of Geography, UNSW.
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 00:55:14 GMT

In article 6tfpptj@lynx.unm.edu, hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
>potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>>
>>unrelatedpeeve: setting your alarm at night and waking up the next morning
>>	to discover that the station you've set to has completely different
>>	programming in the morning.
>
>RelatedPeeve: Without fail, that waking-up song will go through your
>        head until lunch, sometimes longer. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhgh!!!
>
>K-Tell's Theorem: The length of time a song will remain lodged in one's
>        head is in direct proportion to its undesirability.
>     
>(Dare I say it? What the hell...)
>
>d "that's the way, uh huh uh huh, i like it" h 

Oh my GAWHD. Not again... this problems seems to afflict me more than 
most people. I had some godawful tune running through my head for 
*THREE DAYS* earlier this week... TORTURE. I will not attempt to 
remember what it was... I have placed a mental block in place to stop
the endless loop.

Of course this does not apply to: "Me an' you, an' a dog named Boo..."

Al
---
_______________________________________________________________________________
| I think I have seen this thread before. Also this rope.                     |
| Allan H. Evans * School of Geography * UNSW * PO Box 1 Kensington 2033 Aust.|
| allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU  Remote Sensing and Spatial Information Systems |
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: 8 Oct 92 17:16:01 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu

In article <1992Oct8.065828.901@mel.dit.csiro.au> jen187@mis.csiro.au (Graham Jenkins +61 6 276 6812) writes:
>In article <1ash0rINNfsd@bigboote.WPI.EDU> padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:

>>Peeve: KFC Popcorn Chicken tastes really good. Unfortunately, you need a
>>	tub of Maalox afterwards...

>Perhaps you might care to explain to we inhabitants of the better
>end og the planet what Maalox is. Do you eat it? Rub it on your skin?
>Stick it up your arse?  All of the above?

So sorry. I guess I'm just another one of those Damn American Hegemonists...

Maalox is an antacid which you can get in tablet or liquid form. My mother
brings it home from the hospital (where she works) all the time, which
is why I mentioned it instead of "Rolaids" or "Pepto-Bismol" (are those
world-wide at all?)

Eating it usually will suffice, though if you feel particularly sick,
I suppose sticking it up one's bottom may help. Or at least make you
forget that you were sick.

Peter!
From: The_Tea_Which_Will_Drink_You@ed.ac.uk (The Ob Tea)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Freshers
Date: 7 Oct 92 13:36:59 GMT
Reply-To: The_Tea_Which_Will_Drink_You@ed.ac.uk (The Ob Tea)
Organization: The Hot Drink

In article <26629@castle.ed.ac.uk> JHenderson writes:
> 
> I don't think there's any need to expand on the peeve implied by the
> subject line, so I'll pass on to peeve #2

Let's expand this a wee bit, shall we?

Now, freshers are not necessarily a peeve. Actually, they may provide
with a very good laugh every now and then. For example, consider
the signs in JCMB which help people pointing in the correct direction
when they get completely lost in the building. Now that you've
considered them, take a pair of them at random and swap them. Repeat
200 times. Position yourself in the 14 corridor, and watch the fun.

AntiPeeve. I was going to get some boiling water to make my tea (I.e.
to make myself). Just outside the office I see one of the new students
coming along the corridor. I go up to the coffee room, fill the kettle,
turn it on, wait the 2 hours needed for it to boil, fill the teapot and
come back. Just as I exit in the 25 corridor, the same student is just
arriving, considerably more tired. When he sees me, he has a moment of
doubt, than concludes: "You obviously know a shorter way to get here!"

--
The Ob Tea
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan H. Evans)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Reply-To: allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU
Organization: School of Geography, UNSW.
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 00:49:43 GMT

jen187@mis.csiro.au (Graham Jenkins) writes:
>padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:
>>
>>Peeve: KFC Popcorn Chicken tastes really good. Unfortunately, you need a
>>	tub of Maalox afterwards...
>
>Perhaps you might care to explain to we inhabitants of the better
>end og the planet what Maalox is. Do you eat it? Rub it on your skin?
>Stick it up your arse?  All of the above?

All of the above. Apparently, according to one of my illustrious co-workers,
an Australian example might be something called "Gaviscon"... although he
did not know how that was spelt exactly. 

At any rate, 

1) do not eat for 24 hours
2) drink 15 VB interspersed with "Prairie Fires" (tequila + tabasco)
3) eat hot "Thai" 
4) pass out without chundering
5) wake up at 5am
6) you will now crave Maalox, and possibly Pepto-Bismol (sp?)

Al

---
_______________________________________________________________________________
| Translations done, cheap.                                                   |
| Allan H. Evans * School of Geography * UNSW * PO Box 1 Kensington 2033 Aust.|
| allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU  Remote Sensing and Spatial Information Systems |
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Is it just me, or is it HOT IN HERE? (Was: Just Wondering...)
Date: 8 Oct 92 03:32:07 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <ATAYLOR.92Oct7172340@gauss.nmsu.edu> you write:
><In article <122860047@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> reykja@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Reykja Sigurdsson) writes re: shoulder pads:
><	    I've yet to figure that one out myself! I hate the bloody 
><   things! I think it may have been this sort-of sick nostalgia thing 
><   where all the designers started imitating the styles of the '40s. 
>
>	Huh? The 40 Smith and Wesson is still relatively new; 
>	how can there be nostalgia for the 40's when the cartridge
>	has only been on the market for a couple of years?

Well, actually the ballistics of the 40 Short & Weak look rather
like the old downloaded Bren 10 load after the *real* load was found
to be too hot.

Still isn't worth the lead in the jacket of a .45 "flying ashtray".

Peeve: unrelated posts in inappropriate newsgroups.  I don't have the
ability of a drieux to select inappropriate enough groups that they
somehow fit after all... still, I'm OK at the unrelated posts part.

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home
Will hack unix for food 		(.sig stolen from dt - sorry, dt)
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The wrong retains the blame.
Keywords: Losers
Date: 16 Oct 92 12:54:33 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford) writes:

>The technological advances of the last twenty years are truly mind 
>boggling.  People take for granted technologies that were beyond the
>imagined possibilities of 1970. 

This betrays a limited imagination. According to a list I made out in
the 70's, I've personally been short changed of:

Lunar Holidays
Personal flying cars
Maglev Trains
Household androids, realistic and programmed for every function ;-)

>People don't put any thought into 
>how things are accomplished.  Like a fifties sci-fi flick where suddenly
>cars, electricity, and watches all stop at once, 

I saw that one. Gort Ikthu Flobadob Klaatu.

>people think in terms
>of magic works or doesn't work fluid flowing around them.  So, once again,
>I will state for all to hear: Anyone who drops any amount of money to 
>use a fax machine for transmission of text is an idiot.  Period.

Except on Bank Holiday Tuesday.

>I'm really losing it.  Earlier this week I found myself saying to
>my boss, "To paraphrase The Who: Here are the new results, same as the old 
>results."  What next?  "Give me three steps and I won't derive anymore?"

Lack of Integrity, that's the problem.

>When I was growing up everyone had an Archenemy:  Holmes and Moriarty,

Holmes and Henderson surely? Who's this Moriarty character?

>Superman and Lex Luthor, Sonny and Cher.  Everything that went wrong 
>for James Bond could be traced back to Blofeld.  I wish I had an Archenemy.

Be ambitious. Blame God.

>I'm having trouble pinning the blame for my problems on anyone but myself.

No, *you* are responsible for *my* problems. Expect retaliation. 

FoFP
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Geoff: Tool of the Vatican or Catspaw of the Pope?
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 02:01:04 GMT

In <ATAYLOR.92Oct12140505@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:

>	compared to some folks in Rus during The Great Scism.
                                                       ^^^^^

Rhymes with "jism," right?
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Yea Unto the Good Old Days....
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 03:06:22 GMT

russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
] In article <Bw2J4H.A1n@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:
] [I reordered the paragraph]
] 
] >                Heck, even I remember smokes being around $0.75 not
] >that long ago.  I also remember $0.40/gallon gasoline, and I'm not
] >*that* old.
] 
] Youngster - I remember *selling* gasoline (petrol for the folks that
] spell with extra 'u's) at $.30/gallon, and smokes at $.45/pack, $4.00
] for a carton.


Not That I would EVER wish to suggest that you could
not Bargin Your Way out of a GiveAwaySoupKitchen; But

Once upon a time, Persons in the Black Market^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H
EuntrePrenurailFreeMarketAssociations were
Providing American Cigarettes at $2.00 RETAIL!
Yea, and Unto that Gasoline was running
under $0.25/gallon(us).

Put You Know what Happens when the Bleeding heart
WimpLiberals take over.....


ciao
drieux



-- 
Modern Day Problems:

ME? engage in Hyperbole?
I have rarely been more than a first Order Function!!!!
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Bike peeves
Date: 15 Oct 92 06:20:17 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

>Future space will be reserved for the pressing issue of Lycra,
>and why grown men with grown jobs feel the need to appear in
>public looking like a cross between a Castro streetwalker and
>Jon Bon Jovi.

Because it makes all the women get sprung, duh.

-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
From: mzraly@ra.cs.umb.edu (Cheesy Vitriol)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Recipes for the New Depression
Date: 9 Oct 92 04:21:57 GMT
Organization: UMass/Boston Dept. of Math & CS

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>
>mzraly@ra.cs.umb.edu (Cheesy Vitriol) writes:
>
>>Extra-Peeve:  Posting software that filters out the all but the first
>>four lines of a .sig file without asking the poster if he wants to edit
>>it first.
>
>So cut-and-paste your .sig from an adjacent window; that's what I do.
>
>Geoff

If I were using a window system, I might, but I don't.  All I have is
this here vt320 (though I use a '125 at home).

And yes I can just read in the .sig with the editor.  What pissed me
off was that I was not given the chance -- I mistakenly assumed that my
new 6- or 7-line .sig would make it in automatically as my other .sigs
have.  It's not like it would have been difficult to implement a chance
to edit the damned things.

ObPeeve#1: Alarm clocks that don't, and getting to work late as a
result.

ObPeeve#2: Supervisors who "need to speak to you" 10 minutes before the
shift begins, when the shift is a dull eight hours overnight with
plenty of idle time.  Doubly a peeve when combined with #1.

-- 
Mike Zraly		Dawn, n.: The time when men of reason
mzraly@cs.umb.edu	go to bed.  -- Ambrose Bierce
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 20:33:14 GMT

In <1992Oct9.183830.12277@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:

>Jesus, what adolescent crap...and hypocritical to boot.  Words out, banta,
>you make all your friends in bathroom stalls in bus stations.

I wasn't aware that was possible.  It's obvious that you spend some time
in bus station bathrooms.

Besides, this banta friend met him in person at a tree in a park.
Well, behind the tree, really.  And there was the Monty Python theme
playing in the distance.  Or maybe he was the tree - I forget.  I was
looking for a tree named "Bill," as I recall.

Oh well, banta is more than capable of making quick work of lackwit
pecksniffs such as you.  I've seen it happen too many times.  It always
starts out the same and the endings are always the same, too.

Peeve:  The fact that I haven't the slightest inkling of what goes on in
        bus station bathrooms.  That's indicative of my sheltered life, I
        suppose.

Perhaps you could tell us of your experiences there, esp51?
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
From: artn@bert.eecs.uic.edu (Stephan Meyers)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: When I am old I shall be purple
Keywords: Losers
Date: 15 Oct 92 22:57:02 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago

z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:
>	Praise the Lord and pass the Geritol!  Having turned 25 today, this
>being the anniversary of the Battle of Hastings (Normans 1, Saxons 0), I
>have noticed a few things.
<< Major peeves about Teeth (wisdom & other), arthritis, fuel economy,
	and age>>

Ditto, ditto, ditto.

	I am 24 1/2, and I am already feeling like I am on a rocket sled
to death.  Is it supposed to be this fast?

		sbm
-- 
--
Stephan Meyers | artn@uicbert.eecs.uic.edu
(Art)^n Laboratories, inventors of the Stealth Negative PHSCologram
(312) 567-3762
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.folklore.urban
From: jlacey@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (james.w.lacey)
Subject: Re: McDonald's and the IRA (Re: Big mac's and students)
Organization: AT&T
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 21:26:57 GMT

In article <1acmdbINNq63@bigboote.WPI.EDU> padutton@joseph.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:
>
>In any case, this brings up a related peeve: Protesters at St. Patrick's
>Day parades who hold up signs saying "Give Ireland Back To The Irish" and
>such, not caring that the average participant doesn't care for much more
>than finding the next mug of green beer. And that the IRA are a bunch
>of twits. And I'm Catholic, so I can say that.
>
>Of course, when it comes right down to it, I'm sure that there is enough
>twittitude to go around for both sides, as in most conflicts.
>
>Peter!
>
>(Give Ireland Back To The British!)

Peeve:  Why are the British (or as they pronounce it "Brish") so
determined to give back Hong Kong, but so detemined to keep
Northern Ireland ?  If there was a Hong Kong version of the
IRA who were trying to unite Hong Kong with China, would the
Brish change their minds and decide to keep Hong Kong ?  Maybe
the best compromise is rather than having Northern Ireland
part of either the UK or the Republic of Ireland, make it
part of the People's Republic of China -- make it a two
for one deal.


-- 
     Jim Lacey  --  my own opinions    
     email:  att!cbnewsl!jlacey  or  jlacey@cbnewsl.cb.att.com
     D'ou venons-nous? Que sommes-nous? Ou allons-nous?
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Commercials!Commercials!
Date: 16 Oct 92 17:22:55 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Oct16.133606.24880@wetware.com> diana@wetware.com (CatWoman ) 
writes:

>Bacground:  Out here in California (and possibly
>around the world - I only know here), there's
>a chain of Pizza stores called Little Ceasar's.


I've never tried their pizza, but Little Caesar's won my heart with a
commercial they ran a few years ago for some kind of UltraMeat pizza.

It was filmed from the perspective of a pizza delivery person, with the 
camera looking over the top of a boxed pizza and down a hallway.  The
person carrying the pizza suddenly stopped and turned to a door marked
"Vegetarian Society."  The door swung open to reveal three women and a 
man, all organic-looking Birkenstock types; the guy was strumming a
guitar.  The box was opened to display the pizza, which was covered with 
heaps of various types of meat, and the bunny huggers went berserk,
screaming in horror.

I was rolling on the floor.


Geoff


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"If I've missed the boat, Mr. Nolan "'Proverbial' Argument for the 
Re-establishment of Natural Selection" Hinshaw, it's because there's
    a limpet mine attached to the bottom--and you're on it.  Bon Voyage."
						-- Tom Dennis
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