From: Student Pugwash USA <uspugwash@igc.apc.org>
Newsgroups: alt.org.pugwash
Date: 14 Dec 92 11:43 PST
Subject: Re: *Tough Questions: Fall 92 News
Nf-ID: #R:cdp:1758700030:cdp:1758700033:000:5450
Nf-From: cdp.UUCP!uspugwash    Dec 14 11:43:00 1992


Tough Questions - Conference Issue 1992

WEAPONS ADDICTION
By Theodore Taylor

     During his participation in Student Pugwash USAUs Seventh 
International Conference, Theodore Taylor was often called upon to 
speak of his experiences  in the field of weapons development.   A 
retired physicist, Theodore Taylor worked on the Manhattan Project 
and was instrumental in RminiaturizingS the bomb.  In the 1960Us, he 
worked at the Pentagon under Robert McNamara, then Secretary of 
Defense.  Later, in 1965, Mr. Taylor made a decision to separate 
himself from weapons development and to work, instead, toward the 
abolition of all nuclear weapons. 

     We asked Mr. Taylor, having once worked so enthusiastically on 
the design of nuclear weapons, about his individual decision to shift 
his focus from weapons development to disarmament and environmental 
responsibility. 

********************************************************************

     Soon after I reported for work at the Los Alamos Laboratory in 
November 1949, I showed symptoms of an addictive disease.  I became 
fascinated with the inner workings of nuclear explosives.  
Astronomical temperatures and pressures caused by the release of as 
much energy as in a pile of high explosive as big as the White House 
were contained, for an instant, in a sphere of plutonium no bigger 
than a tennis ball.  I became obsessed with pushing the designs to 
absolute limits.  Could we design an atom bomb small enough to be 
fired out of a canon or carried in a suitcase, or big enough to 
destroy all of Moscow?  Each successful test of one of these bombs I 
helped design triggered an intense high.  I developed a sense of 
personal power over global events.  I kept wanting more.
     My mother and my wife, Caro, asked how I could work on anything 
designed to kill as many people as possible.  My answer was the same 
as my governmentUs: We at Los Alamos were, in fact, the worldUs front 
line of peacemakers.  We were making war impossible by making sure it 
would be completely devastating.  This answer didnUt wash with Caro 
or my mother.  I continued to search for new highs for some 16 years.

     Like drug addiction, my disease is incurable.  The only way to 
control it is total abstinence.  To take control requires bottoming 
out.  This means feeling such profound despair about the future that 
the addict has no acceptable choice but to admit the addiction and quit 
Q absolutely and forever.

     This happened to me in 1965, while I was working in the Pentagon. 
The wars in Korea and Vietnam proved that our 30,000 nuclear warheads 
were not preventing devastating wars.  I also became totally alarmed 
with the lack of understanding in Congress on nuclear weapons matters. 
I was present when Congress was told by the highest authorities in the 
Defense Department that we had no problem in terms of actually using 
our deterrents.  I was the last witness at those hearings and sort of 
spilled a lot of beans.  Somehow that crowned the whole architecture 
of the new form in which I saw nuclear weaponry.  At that point I 
said, RItUs bad, itUs wrong, itUs immoral, itUs the work of the devil, 
we must get rid of that.S  I had engaged in self deception, to feed my 
addiction, and I realized that my wife and mother had been right all 
along.

     Since that time I have devoted myself to the worldwide abolition 
of all nuclear weapons for all time.  For 25 years it has troubled me 
deeply that my country is prepared to kill millions of innocent people 
in retaliation to acts committed by a few insane leaders.

     I think itUs up to all of us to change the direction weUre headed 
in now.  For reasons I donUt understand, I think all of us, all people 
on earth, are now being put upon to take responsibility.  This is the 
time for passion.  Passion is whatUs needed to keep us off this 
reckless drive which has no end but death, really.  I think the signal 
of where to get off this freeway is the receptiveness of people to 
expressions of good feeling and trust.  We need to start looking at 
some of the things that we can do together.  We need to become 
dependent on working together.  For example, take a tiny fraction of 
our military spending and, starting tomorrow, put it into a project 
to find some way to purify the aquifers in the Commonwealth of 
Independent States and the United States that are now contaminated 
with pesticides.  ThatUs the way to go.  I just wish weUd get on with 
it.

********************************************************************

     Building upon his personal vision of a sustainable world, Mr. 
Taylor  has dedicated his work not only to nuclear disarmament but 
also to the promotion of environmental responsibility.  Currently, 
Mr. Taylor is the president of Southern Tier Environmental Protection 
Society (STEPS), a non-profit organization which provides pathways 
for concerned citizens to take RstepsS to promote renewable energy 
sources, energy conservation, environmental education, and 
environmental renewal.  STEPS involves citizens in action in areas 
of energy, the environment, and education.  Mr. Taylor is also a 
consultant for the Federation of American Scientists.  He currently 
writes, lectures, and testifies about nuclear arms control and 
disarmament, ethical and moral issues facing scientists and 
engineers, environmental issues, and space technology for peaceful 
uses.