HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: Angela Johnson <Angela_Johnson@med.umich.edu>
Subject: Re: Do Women Really Want A Guy That Makes Them Laugh?
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 15:35:44 EST
Organization: The University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1



In article <stone.724361679@cwis> Travis Stone, stone@cwis.unomaha.edu
writes:
>I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
>woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor".  Well, pardon
>me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague.  Just what do
>women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
>
>I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
>who can make me laugh."  There *must* be a hell of alot more to
>it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
>should be dripping with women.  Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>What else are you looking for?  
>
>---- T.R. Stone

Well, I'll try explaining it from my point of view.  I happen to
like men who are mature regarding relationships and know how
to communicate openly and honestly.  I also like a sense of 
humor - someone who doesn't take life *too* seriously - seriously,
but not to the point where he never laughs or finds time to
enjoy himself.  Some men get so wrapped up in their work or 
themselves that they don't take time to *enjoy* life.  I don't
like it when guys act foolishly and have an immature sense of humor
but people CAN have a mature sense of humor. In fact, there are
even times in bed that you should be able to laugh WITH each other.

Hope this helps - it somewhat hard to describe/explain but here
is my view of a wanting a "sense of humor".

-Angela
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: macl6441@mach1.wlu.ca (macleod heather)
Subject: Re: How do you win someone back.
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 17:34:36 GMT

In article <BzC4uB.IJp@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> alex@mentor.cc.purdue.edu ( ) writes:
>In article <92349.181945IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU (World Leader) writes:
>>If any of you have succeeded at this, let me know how you
>>did it!!!  I've tried expensive gifts and everything.  I am
>>at the end of my rope.  I was going to be married to my man in
>>April...I love him dearly.
>>
>>Andie.
>
>Naturally, I'll get flamed beyond comprehension for saying this, but
>the point is: you don't try.  I lost someone I believed I loved a few
>years back when they went out with someone else, and I hurt myself
>very badly by trying to get them back.  If they really want to come
>back, they will.  If they don't there's no way you can *make* them
>love you.  "If you love someone, let them go.  If they come back,
>they're yours, if not, they never were."  It's time to start deciding
>where things went wrong and ask yourself if you really want to fix
>them.  It's possible you may hurt yourself more by trying to get
>him back and being rejected, than to move on and let him come back in
>his own time.
>               
>                                                 -Alex
>Flames Accepted, Stupidity Ignored.
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>Warning:  This post has been written by a noted Cynic and may be
>          Dangerous to your mental stability.
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
Alex:

Why do you think you're going to be flamed for this?  You're dead on!  I'm
currently struglling with staying with what I know or moving on to new
things, and whichever way I decide, nobody's going to "win" me back.  It's
my choice how I'll live my life, and no amount of gifts will change it!

Heather MacLeod   macl6441@mach1.wlu.ca
Wilfrid Laurier University
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett)
Subject: Re: How do you win someone back.
Organization: University of Hawaii, Dept. of Electrical Engineering
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 23:41:15 GMT

>In article <92349.181945IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU>  writes:
>> If any of you have succeeded at this, let me know how you
>> did it!!!  I've tried expensive gifts and everything.  I am
>> at the end of my rope.  I was going to be married to my man in
>> April...I love him dearly.
>> 
>> Andie.
>

Love is sometimes letting go without trying to hold on to it with materialistic
offerings.  A relationship is not money in the bank but a bonding of heart and
mind.  If the other person has broken that, no amount of giving gifts will 
re-establish it.  Look to the circumstances of the breaking up to solve rather
than "forget and make up" tactics.  You probably know what the score is and
whether or not it will work.  I think acceptance of that has not entered your
life and the fear of loss is very strong to hang on.  If so, let time be 
your answer to all your questions and the love of the bond prove it's worth
in the future.  As it is said if it doesn't come back on it's own, then it 
wasn't meant to last.

dB
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Epilogue to Fred & Wilma
Keywords: scrooge love fred wilma flintstones barney dumped
Date: 14 Dec 92 17:53:45 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1gcfjqINNs3c@agate.berkeley.edu> bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:
>Which leads me to my next question:
>How morally ethical does the a.r.netland feel about the following situation
>(not yet a personal problem, just want to know in case it does come up)
>
I will stick with what is practical. I find that what is unethical is
almost always impractical. If you are honest with yourself about
what is going on, and realistic about what is likely to happen, 
there is usually a good practical reason to not behave unethically.

>Say your friend is dating someone you find attractive. (we'll call him
>B and her, C)
>Say C finds you attractive.
>What would you do if C asks you to go out with her in a more than just
>friends situation?
>
If that was clearly the case, I would turn her down politely, and tell
her I did not feel comfortable going out with her while she was dating
my friend.

>What would you do if you felt like asking C out in a more than just friend
>way?
>Would you ask C out?
>
No. Unless it was clear that there was not much going on between B&C, 
I would not put myself in a position to break them up. I want someone
who is going to stick with me, and if C is going to treat B this way,
how is she going to treat me? Also, if she feels I caused her to 
break up with B, she will hold this against me. Not a good way
to start a relationship that should be based on trust.

>Would you ask her out if C breaks up with A because of you?
>
Probably. But again, I would not put myself in a position where 
I felt it was my fault that they broke up. Of course, if she
thought she was leaving him for me, that might cause trouble
in the future, when she decides that she should have stayed 
with him.

>Would you ask her out if C breaks up with A not because of you?
>
Yes. The only problem with this is that B may feel jealous or 
betrayed. If I want to be more than friends with C, I doubt
if this will keep me from asking her out. Of course, I would
try to be tactful about it. I would let him know that I am
seeing her (so he is not surprised, you can't keep a secret 
forever), but I try to keep from being with C around B.

Peace,
Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: Re: "We could still be friends"
Reply-To: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 21:27:23 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.025624.24035@unislc.uucp>, erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:
>David Barrett (deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu) wrote:
>
>The types of women who do this are very often the ones who, time after time,
>get involved with men who manipulate them, use them, then dump them, leaving
>them "heartbroken".  They seldom realize that it's *their* selection process

I heard it phrased this way:  "It's not that you  attract inappropriate,
abusive men, it's that you give them your phone number."


>gave love the time it needed to grow.  This "chemistry" stuff that I hear
>women dishing out to seemingly evade personal responsibility isn't love -
>very often, it's hormones.

Okay, so what's your point?  :)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone)
Subject: Re: More Poems
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 21:24:03 GMT



Well, how about this:

Upon smashing the humble Atom
The whole world was intent;
And now someday
The humble Atom may
Return the compliment.

          ....Ogden Nash

Or:

Barney's dad was really bad
So Barney hatched a plan;
When his dad said "eat your peas!"
Barney shouted "No!" and ran.

Then Barney tricked his mean 'ol dad,
And locked him in the cellar;
His mom never found out where he'd gone
'Cause Barney didn't tell her.

There his dad spent his life,
Eating mice and gruel;
With every bite for fifty years
He was sorry he'd been cruel.

         ....Bill Watterson,
             "Calvin and Hobbes"

Or:

The very law that moulds a tear,
And bids it trickle from its source;
That law preserves this Earth a sphere
And guides the planets in their course.

         ....Anonymous (1896)


...T.R. Stone
 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: MUTE
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 22:40:07 GMT

In article <BzD57y.631@acsu.buffalo.edu> v064myby@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Christophr J Quaranta) writes:
>
>	I need some help.  I'm a 25 year old guy and I just met this girl who
>I like a lot.  Anyways, I've never been able to keep a relationship going
>for any length of time.  I still get tongue tied when I try to talk to her 
>on the phone & it's driving me nuts!!  
>	I've been told I'm a pretty funny guy but I usually have to have 3 or 4
>drinks just to get to the point where I can socialize with anyone.
>If anyone has some advice to help me out of this situation please let me know!!
>I don't want to lose this one & I hate feeling like an awkward teenager when 
>I'm on a date.
>					

Practice helps. I suggest you try talking to other people as much as
you can. But you don't have to wait till you are a wonderful
converstationalist to talk to this girl.

It doesn't really matter what you say to this girl, as long as you say
something. Keep this in mind. You aren't trying to impress her with how
clever you are, you are trying to communicate a sincere interest in
her. Try to keep the focus on her, and let her do most of the talking.
You should guide the conversation by asking questions.  Offer bits of
information about yourself, *as they relate to what she is saying*, but
don't dwell on youself.

Don't worry that you will look nervous and awkward, or that you are
going to be boring. The important thing is your attitude, which should
be warm and open. If you have an attitude like that, she should see any
difficulties that you have speaking as showing that you are going to
some effort for her sake. Which is flattering. Try not to speak negatively
about anyone -- this can make her feel that you will be talking negatively
about her next.

When you start a conversation, you usually want to ask safe questions
that are sure not to cause her any discomfort. Ask about recent events,
or talk about your immediate surroundings. Or even talk about the
weather. Once the conversation gets some momentum, you can ask more
personal questions.  A good 'trick' is to memorize some questions about
things you would like to know about her. Whenever the conversation
slows, you can bring up one of these questions.


Good Luck,
Michael.
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Let's Make the World a More Loving Place
Date: 15 Dec 92 13:47:41 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.41

In article <stone.724359796@cwis> stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes:
>petitc@nuge113.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:
>
>>[It's Christmas, so let's hug more <blearh!>]

>What *you* may see as "innocent" may jolly well not seem that way to
>another person; how are we (I am using the "editorial 'we'") to know
>what your motivations are?  No, the problem is that we can't divine
>your intentions---and until we can, we want our "personal space"
>kept inviolate.  It's a largely American thing, I think---I have
                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>noticed Europeans aren't bothered by proximity and casual contact,
         ^^^^^^^^^
>but it bugs the bejeebers out of me when they get right in my face,
>or start putting a hand on my arm.  I can't help the way I feel, and
>they can't help doing what they do---both for the same reason: that's
>how our respective cultures raised us to be.

I hope Travis is using "European" in the "continental European" sense.
The Frenchies, etc. are certainly well into hugging, but us Brits are well
at arms length.

Thank heavens too. Count me in for the "minimal hugs" crowds. It's
*wonderful* between lovers, and quite nice between close friends (when
the person I'm hugging is female :-)), but that's as far as it goes, IMHO.

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
From: bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: "We could still be friends"
Date: 15 Dec 1992 00:10:48 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley, CS Undergraduate Association
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu

In article <1gilgbINNjvn@bHARs12c.bnr.co.uk> dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
 >Say: "OH NO!!! NOT AGAIN!!!".
I did.
 >
 >Then: cry a lot.
Moping and sulking.... close though.
 >
 >And then: prepare yourself for a long drawn out obsession.
Yup yup.  Agreed.
 >
 >Finally, either: realise the futility of it all and think about ending things;
 >Or: wake up to the fact that they weren't that nice a person after all --
 >but still lust after them like hell.
 >
 >Eventually: find someone else to make the same mistakes over...
That too happened.  Vicious Cycle.  (and it's not my mountain bike)
 >
 >
 >Well, it happens to me this way :-)
You too, ai?  Welcome to the club :-P
>Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be

Smile.  Lifes but one huge drawn out tragicomedy. :-P

-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------------
*	Billy H. Chan		<bhchan@ocf.berkeley.edu> 	*
*	Lost at Cal!!!   	<bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu>	*
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jav56209@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Villanueva)
Subject: Re: John Fippen
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 22:04:22 GMT

  Dear John,
    I'd like to thank you too for sharing your wonderful life with us...
    with me.  It's so very nice to hear about TRUE love.  I wish you
    and your wife a joyful holiday season!

    Pleasant thoughts,
    Julie
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Juliet A. Villanueva  					University of Illinois
e-mail:jav56209@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu			College of Engineering
       jv7016@coewl.cen.uiuc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How do you win someone back.
From: dgartner@dion.gac.edu (David M Gartner)
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:25:16 -0600

In article <92349.181945IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU>  writes:
> If any of you have succeeded at this, let me know how you
> did it!!!  I've tried expensive gifts and everything.  I am
> at the end of my rope.  I was going to be married to my man in
> April...I love him dearly.
> 
> Andie.

What happened?  Being able to win someone back depends on the  
circumstances.  Give us some more information.
--
David M. Gartner
dgartner@nic.gac.edu		--NeXT Mail preferred--
"Ignorance is the night of the mind without stars or moon."
							Shakespeare
								
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@nuge101.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Cost of the Twelve Days of Christmas
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 17:31:36 GMT

Here's something interesting.  I figured out about how much it would cost to
really do the Twelve Days of Christmas.  Note:  I do things like the song,
literally---so we need 12 partridges, 1 per day for 12 days, and 22 turtle
doves---2 per day for 11 days, and so on...

We also need the pool for the swans to swim in, and we 'rent' the people for
about an hour or so, each day.  Anyhow, here it is:

Item			Qty.	Cost/Unit	Sub-Total	Total

Partridge		12	100		1,200		1,200
Pear Tree		12	500		6,000		7,200
Turtle-Doves		22	100		2,200		9,400
French Hens		30	200		6,000		15,400
Calling Birds		36	150		5,400		20,800
Golden Rings		40	200		8,000		28,800
Geese-a-laying		42	150		6,300		35,100
Swans-a-swimming	42	150		6,300		41,400
Pool			1	8,000		8,000		49,400
Maids-a-Milking		40	150		6,000		55,400
Pipers playing		36	200		7,200		68,600
Ladies dancing		30	150		4,500		73,100
Lords-a-leaping		22	300		6,600		79,700
Fiddlers fiddling	12	250		3,000		82,700


-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right
to say it."  - Voltaire.
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Romantic Relationships and Friendships
Date: 17 Dec 92 01:41:33 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1gkojqINNe3c@bHARs12c.bnr.co.uk> dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
...
>Can you say a bit more about this "chemistry" stuff, Marcia? I think some
>of my problems (and maybe others') lies in the area of the mysterious
>"chemistry". 
>
>Is it a euphemism for "animal lust" or other such basic instincts, or do
>you think it is some higher-level emotional link? Is it just body language 
>or some unspoken communication? Pheronomes? (Now we're *talking* chemistry!)
>
I don't like to use the term chemistry, but people I talk to who do
generally mean "we get along and I can't explain why". In other words,
it is a non-explaination to give to those who require an explaination for
everything. I perfer to simply say 'I like her' or 'we get along well'
and leave it at that. I feel no need to justify liking someone or 
enjoying someone's company or getting along with someone. 

Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mboothe@Turing.ORG (Matt Boothe (N4VOR))
Subject: Re: Romantic Relationships and Friendships
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 15:35:42 GMT

>When you met your SO: 
>1. Were you seeking only friendship and were surprised by the 
>   subsequent development of romantic interests?
>2. Were you seeking friendship knowing that there was the possibility
>   of mutual interest in a romantic relationship?
>3. Did you pursue a romantic relationship soon after meeting each other,
>   with the friendship developing later on?
>

In my case, it was case 3.  In my experience, turning long-standing
friendships into romances has proven disastrous (case 2).  Case 1,
I guess, seems more plausible to me, but I have still not had good
luck with this.

In my opinion, the initial 'spark' is not really something that can be
grown into; it just seems to happen.
>
>Ken H. Chin	- Graduate Student in search of work
>email	kchin@cs.stanford.edu
>campus	(415) 497 - 9297


-- 
Matt Boothe
mboothe@turing.org
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Save Me!
From: s206001@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au
Date: 18 Dec 92 12:08:03 GMT

In article <Dec15.172834.43218@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU>, gregk@longs.LANCE.ColoState.Edu (Gregory Krueger) writes:
> In article <0096505A.E137AF00@Msu.oscs.montana.edu>, oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
> |> Do men ever want to "sweep a girl off her feet"?  
> 
> Granted I am not every man, but yes, "sweeping a girl off her feet" is 
> definately something that I would consider cool to do.  It just seems
> so hard to do amymore, what with all the movies destroying romance and
> stuff like that.  I ocasionally have rescuer fantasies too.  They just
> kind of seem to come from the old society norms that we all know about...
	There is something nice about "being swept off your feet" but not many
men do that these days.  And there is nothing wrong with some of the old
society norms - not if they're taken in context with current ones.  And
definitley not when it comes to romance.
> |> 
> |> Okay, so I'm bored....
> |> 
> |> Cheryl
> Me too.....
> Greg
Shall we go for a Me three.. :) or just a general group boredom..at any rate
count me in..Christmas lag..I wish it could be jet lag.
Irene
> 
>                             . -  ~ ~,
>                          .~_ . -  ~.'~_~.
>                          .--~-.    | {
>                         '-~ -. `      }.;
>                              _`.__|`.~.'             _ _ .-:
>                               `---._ ."          .-~  .-~  }
>                                     \ \__     .~  .-~   .~
>                                      \ \'     \ '_ _ -~
>                                       `.`.    //
>                              . - ~ ~-.__`.`-.//
>                          .-~   . - ~  }~ ~ ~-.~-.
>                        .' .-~      .-~       |/~-.~-./|
>                       /_~_ _ . - ~                 ~-.~-._
> 

PS. I love the rose Greg.
Organization: Junior, Math/Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 19:09:31 -0500 
From: "Stephen M. Lacy" <sl31+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Hands through hair, NOT A SIGN.

Excerpts from netnews.alt.romance: 16-Dec-92 Re: Complete
stangers/frien.. by Davis@po.cwru.edu 
> >hands through her hair at least 2-3 times during the class.  I don't want

This is the biggest and most troublesome hangup I've heard that girls
have with guys.  Here's the explanation: For some reason guys think that
its really sexy and an 'invitation' if I could call it that, when a girl
runs her hands through her hair.  Well, let me tell you something: it
usually means nothing at all.  I've never had my hair as long as I have
it right now (bangs reach bottom of my nose -- they used to be about 1"
long)  and I find myself running my hands through my hair all the time,
just because its there, and becuase it gets in the way a lot.  So,
imagine what its like to be a girl where your hair hangs down to your
shoulders, well, its gonna get annoying, and you're going to want it out
of the way, and you'll run your hand through your hair just to do that.

Now, don't get me wrong.  If the other cues are right, the running of
the hand through the hair can be a well-placed romantic sign.  (i.e.
you're in a resturant and she says "well, where should we go now" and
runs her hand through her hair.  Now, this is a wee bit exaggerated, but
I think you get the idea.  

I've known girls who know guys who just about rip up their pants when
they see a girl running their hand through their hair, and thus, as a
method of torture, do it all the time.  Thanks girls.   :)

Steve


"No matter what happens, never believe that you have learned something
you were not supposed to know." -Steve Lacy

Newsgroups: alt.romance