From: ap.597@cupid.sai.com
Newsgroups: alt.personals,alt.personals.ads
Subject: How to write an ad (not a flame, but long)
Date: 12 Nov 92 17:04:19 GMT
Reply-To: ap.597@cupid.sai.com
Followup-To: alt.personals
Organization: EZ-Intro Contact Service
X-Ecs-Version: ECS 1.0
X-Iso: SM

Women are here.  We lurk.  You see them in other groups.

In the interest of improving the ads and reducing frustration, here
are some clues about how to get ads answered by me, and by women like
me.  I assume I'm fairly typical.  I also get responses to my postings
saying things such as "yours was the most well-written and appealing
"iso *M" post I've seen in quite a while".

I'll probably ignore most of the replies and follow-ups to this
article because I want to END the discussion and read some good ads.
Also, there are far too many nice people to whom I'd like to send
email, when I get to it.  (Please be patient.)

1) Most women are looking for friendship or love.

If you want to get laid with no emotional strings attached, that's
what prostitutes are for, and not what this newsgroup is for.  I know
prostitutes are illegal, but other women probably aren't interested in
a fast f*ck for free.  Likewise, if you want a pretty decoration, buy
a poster or a statue.  Don't look for a person.  Women aren't things.

2) Put gender, age, and location in the subject.

I, for one, much prefer email correspondence with people whom I could
actually meet some day if we feel like it.  "SWM seeks SWF" will
seldom even get read.  I often only look at subjects because of the
high volume.  If you disbelieve in geography, then at least put
something more unique into the subject, something interesting that
will make someone want to read the article.

3) Concentrate on the essentials.  Keep a balance.

If you say you want to hear from absolutely anyone female, it looks
desperate and people don't really believe you.  Specify too much, and
you frighten women off.  If you say "under 5'6"", a taller woman may
well assume you would not be interested in her, but it's more subtle
than that.  If you say YOU'RE fit and good-looking, she'll assume that
SHE must be, and many women think they are less attractive than they
actually are, partly because commercials to make them think so sell
"beauty" products effectively.

A good approximation of the list of essentials is "What do all
of the people who attract me have in common?" and "What is missing
from the people who tried very hard to attract me and failed."  I
discovered, for example, that for me, intelligence and overlapping
interests are essential and wealth is not.

4) Don't always describe.  Attract.

Don't only specify who you are looking for.  Phrase the ad to invite
a response from the kind of person you want.  For example, intelligent
people respond more to interesting ads than to boring ads that specify
"intelligent".

5) Be realistic

A genius with the body of a model and the patience of a saint probably
already HAS a lover.

I do mean this constructively.  I hope it helps.

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