From: sallyb@qiclab.scn.rain.com (Sally Bowley)
Subject: Re: something I just wanted to complain about
Organization: SCN Research/Qic Laboratories of Tigard, Oregon.
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 00:01:50 GMT

In article <2A61F3B8.18661@noiro.acs.uci.edu> cortese@skid.ps.uci.edu (Janis Maria Cortese) writes:
>I don't suppose this REALLY belongs here, but then neither did my rant
>about the medical industry either.  This has just gotten me pissed, and
>I thought that this was a decent forum to bitch about it, and it might
>start some fruitful and thoughtful discussion.

hi janice, i'll join you on your bitch! 
(stuff about cool world and boob size deleted for bandwidth)

>And, now we have a MOVIE -- another movie -- that capitalizes on this!
>Yay!!  This, ladies, is what we're supposed to look like!  Get naked and
>stand in front of a mirror -- you think THAT'S a woman's body?!?  Hah!
>Think again, sweetheart!

i know what you mean and i agree with you completely. we're constantly
abused by billboard and newspaper/mag advertizing, tv commercials etc
telling us what women *ought* to look like; no wonder there's so many
of us suffering from food-related dis-eases or surgery related
catastrophes pouring into the medical system (which itself, is
dominated by men). my question has always been "ought to look like for
*whom*?" not ourselves, that's for sure - seems to me that women
weren't as obsessed with looking "better" for men before patriarchy
destroyed women's self image. or more recently, before tv, movies, the
media's intervention - before the "improvement" of women's bodies
became a money-making business. 

>Okay -- sorry.  I guess I should add the mandatory disclaimer that I'm
>talking about men in general and AM NOT ACCUSING ANYONE IN PARTICULAR,
>that I'm ranting about societal values more than any single man or group
>of men.  Again, I don't know if this rant is appropriate here, BUT you
>people seem open-minded enough to allow me to blow off some steam, and
>to wring some meaningful discussion out of this.

i don't know if what i have to add will be meaningful to the group -
it's meaningful to me tho, and that's all that matters ;-). and i
think this is very important in this kind of discussion. in my 35
years in this body, i've fallen into the trap of trying to change to
please others - i've run the gamut of "my boobs are too small, my legs
are too short, my hair's too straight so i'll perm it, my eyes are
boring so i'll wear coloured contacts" etc etc. al this to try and
look more like the media idea of what woman should look like in order
to be attractive (presumably to men - when did you last see an ad for
a perfume that had another woman presenting the female wearer witha
bunch of flowers.........). a pet peeve of mine is the ad for
"feminine" deodorant - women of the nineties, for gawd's sake don't
let your natural body odours be smelled by anyone who happens to be
down that way ... cover it up by smelling like a bunch of flowers.
what a load of crap. 

we're constantly being told that what we *are* as women is not good
enough - the ads suggest that if you douche, use your feminine spray,
stick on a scented pad, then you'll be acceptable to the outside
world. (altho how using a vinegar and water douche will bring this
about, i don't know - seems to me you'd smell more like a fish and
chip shop.... ;-)). 

i think things are changing tho - for it seems that for as many of the
above ads, we're also seeing as many horror stories from women who
bought them hook line and sinker. and the more of us that begin to
reclaim ourselves in all of our goddess-given natural beauty and
reject the messages that movies such as "cool world" spew out, the
fewer of us will be hurt. we have to come to a place where we are
proud of our bodies just the way we are, in all of our female-ness. 

this isn't easy in the face of the assault upon us every day, but we
*can* do it. we *need* to do it to get back our self esteem and to be
beings of consequence again. i was at a women's sweat lodge a couple
of weekends ago - the first i'd attended. there was about 15 women
present - all ages, all sizes. it was the most wonderful feeling to be
able to be naked with these women and feel safe, unjudged and accepted
just as you were. cellulite didn't matter. stretch marks and boobs
succumbing to gravity because of age and childbirth were seen as
powerful reminders of maturity and giving of life. my little boobs
were every bit as beautiful as those i would have envied a while ago.
there was no ego, there was just woman, in all of her beauty and
strength. and a lot of the reason i felt this way, was because there
were no men present to make me wonder about my body and how it looked.
we  - i - have a long way to go still; we have to eradicate hundreds
of years of damage done by the patriarchal system. and just incase
some of you automatically assume i'm a rabid feminist/lesbian/manhater
(and some of my best friends fall into all of the above, thank
goodness ;-)), my husband would be the first one to agree with me. 
sally

>Pardon,
>Janis
> 
>