From: fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen)
Subject: My wife's first visit to her OB doctor was scary...
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 13:05:41 GMT

 	The year was 1949 and we were just married. These were wonderful 
times which are to be remembered forever. Emotions were at their highest, and 
I think my hormone count was higher than my I.Q. An early pregnancy was out
of the question, because I had just finished school, owed quite a bit of money
for my education (GI Bill didn't begin to cover everything), and was just learning
a new job, and had a new wife whom I was simply crazy about. So I was under
a lot of pressure, and my wife was under a lot of different pressures, not the 
least of which was that there wasn't anywhere near enough money. But she did
a magnificent job under difficult circumstances, and these adversities then 
gave her strengths that would eventually become great assets.
	Elizabeth (my wife, and I am her husband----she belongs to me, and I
belong to her, but this is another story) knew pretty well when her period would
occur, and she knew about when she would ovulate. On top of that, we used the
absolutely safe (ha) condoms most of the time just to be sure. Well, we'd been
married about 7 weeks and she missed a period. But of course there are a lot 
of reasons a woman can miss her period, right? Then she missed her SECOND
period. So we went to some sort of a back ally place that didn't cost much and
she had a pregnancy check; they somehow sacrificed a rabbit to determine that
her test was POSITIVE. But I knew better that this, she COULDN'T be pregnant.
	She really wanted a female doctor. Baring her private parts to a strangemale just wasn't her thing. And I didn't like the idea either. But she was sick
most mornings now, and then there were few (make that "no") women doctors,
let alone an OB specialist. She was trapped with no way out and that's just the
way she felt. Sometimes I think she inadvertently hated me for her condition; of
course she didn't mean it, and I was frantic too. So with both of us not really
rational, you can see how bad things were. But after much soul searching and 
anguish, she made an appointment with a male OB doctor.
	When the day came, I wanted to go with her. But in those days a 
husband wasn't even allowed in the OB waiting room, let alone the exam room.
But she was lucky, because her doctor was a professional with great 
compassion and understanding. He redid her pregnancy test (another rabbit) and 
she WAS pregnant. Her internal exam went much better than she had expected,
she felt no pain and only slight discomfort when her vagina was extended to
present an easy view of her cervix which measured to be large enough for the 
delivery to come. So for her, and to a much lesser extent, for me, the inititial
fears proved to be groundless, so now she could relax more and carry to term
more normally. Love is much more important at these times than anyone can 
ever explain. These days the media is full of the word "sex" (it sells) and no
mention is made LOVE which is a thousand times greater than sex. And yet in
the early days of pregnancy, love is SO important. If you don't have 2 people
whose hearts are together, well, what else is there on this earth? I don't 
discount religion here, it's just that we were made to have 2 suppottive hearts
together at the difficult times I've described here. Love can take your heart and
mind and soul and enable you to see and do things that other modes of life
can't even envision.
	We've been married 43 years now, and I still love her dearly.Is our 
marriage perfect? Absolutely not. We've had many arguments, and the next day
I can't usually remember what we argued about. But I ALWAYS tell my wife I
love her before we go to sleep, and I appologize to her even if I think  I'm
right. Love has given me the power to do many things, and love can do the 
same thing for you.


		Bye now.   John Fippen