From: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA (Andreas  Tovornik)
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Reply-To: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA
Organization: University of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 92 05:17:00 GMT

In article 717639272@convex.convex.com, ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:
>
>How did our close ancestors really choose their mates?  According
>to Edward O. Wilson's textbook on sociobiology, "Because of the
>exitance of a high level of cooperation with the band, a legacy of 
>the original Australopithecus adaptation, sexual selection would
>tend to be linked with hunting prowess, leadership, skill at tool
>making, and other visible attributes that contribute to the success
>of the family and the male band."  So, if you really want to say
>you're choosing your mate the same way our ancestors did, you should
>value an engineering degree (toolmaking skills) at least as highly
>as physical appearance.

 Ed, could it be that you are now overcompensating? First you claim to
be physically unattractive. Now you try to woo us with your Engineering
degree. An engineering degree is only as attractive as the one who holds
it. When you take that degree and flaunt it, it becomes a form of intel-
lectual snobbery. Nobody likes a snob or a smartass. From the general
tone of your letters, you look down on us as inferiors. If your degree
is better than mine, if your tastes and ideas are better than mine, if
your job is better than mine (ad nauseum) and you cram that down my
throat, my first impulse is to puke.

 When something makes me want to puke, I don't want to be around it. 
If you are one third the braggart you are here with the women you meet,
it could just be that they are turned off because you try to be such a
superior being to the rest of us. You are  aloof in public, as one of your
colleagues who knows you pointed out. People don't want to be near you
because your body language tells them to stay away. Lighten up. 

 You are trying so hard to impress people that you are doing the opposite.
An anecdote:

 Last night I was on a date with these two lovely and interesting Norwegian
girls. I met them by walking into a pub and just politely asking them if
I could join them. But that was two weeks ago, I digress. Last night we 
were at a little folk dance and we stepped outside for a breather. This 
other guy came out and started talking at us, not to us. He talked about
producing films and on and on. He never let us say a word, because he was
so full of himself. At one point, he said that the movie industry was the
only place to be because people always wanted to be entertained.
 At that point, the phrase, "you got that right, Spielberg" popped into
my mind and immediately issued forth from my mouth. He sort of looked at
me, but kept on going with his incessant monologue. He was trying to impress
the girls with his great achievements to the exclusion of everything else.
 Such a biased behavior made me feel like puking. The three of us just left.
We had a good laugh over the Spielberg thing. I asked one of the girls what
she thought of "Spielberg" and she said," Well, he has a nice body, but I'd
never go out with him. He's a pompous ass."

 So here I am with these two lovelies, everything's going great, and I'm
a short, fat, balding guy. Mister physically attractive Spielberg is prob-
ably thinking that he's a physical slouch because he didn't get lucky. I
don't look at girls that way. There is no stress or pressure, and I just
be myself. Even if I were to have a million and a half dollars, a great
car and a Nobel Prize, I would never ram it down anybody's throat. So
probably you're a normal looking guy with an attitude problem. 
 I tell you that it's my humble opinion that women are more attracted to
men who are genuine, than any other kind of man no matter what he looks like.
They want a man who listens and I mean really listens to them instead of
spouting off about how great he is.

Andy.

PLEASE EXCUSE MY OBVIOUS IGNORANCE.


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