From: an2967@anon.penet.fi (Tierney Dhewitrei)
Subject: about me, is it familiar?
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: alt.transgendered
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 16:14:00 GMT

I am posting this to both trans.gendered and cdforum, please excuse the
duplication.  BEWARE.... it is very long.....  Having problems with anon
service.

I've noticed a lot of bios are real specific with when persons first 
CD'ed.  I guess my memory is not that good.  The only way I can nail
it down is because my parents moved often and I remember which house
I first CD'ed.  Anyway I first recall somewhere between the ages of
5 and 7.  These memories are really vague so we will leave this time
and move on.  I'll try and hit the highlights.

I was fortunate to have a sister just a bit younger so between her
and my mother I could find whatever I needed.  At first it was just
panties.  I then tried a wool skirt of my sister's.  I had gone to the
bathroom and turned on the shower for cover.  Unforunately, I had not
properly locked the door and one of my brothers/sisters (I don't
recall which) came in.  I did the only thing I could think to do and
that was to jump in the shower.  Well I was discovered anyway and my
mother then called my father.  I can still recall sitting on the floor
next to my mother crying and pleading that they not send me away.  I
just knew I was crazy.  It seems my mother was more concerned with the
wool skirt I had probably ruined.

Around the same time frame I remember coming home covered in mud after
playing at a home construction site.  My mother told me to remove my
jeans in the laundry room and then go up to take a bath.  As I removed
my jeans, I found I had completely forgotten that I had a pair of my
sister's panties on.  My excuse, which certainly seemed plausable to
a 10 year old mind, was that I couldn't find a pair of underwear so I
got dressed without them and that her panties must have been caught
inside my jeans from the dryer.  I don't recall any real concern on
my mothers part at this time.

The last time I was caught was in high school.  By now I did not
feel right without a bra and panties whenever I CD'ed.  In a bold
move I put on one of my mothers bras and stuffed it with socks.  I
then put on a relatively heavy sweat shirt and after looking myself
over in the mirror I convinced myself I could get by walking about
the house amongst the whole family without being caught.  I did so
and was standing in the kitchen when I caught an unusual look from
my mother.  All I could figure out was that I had been found out.  I
immediately went to the bathroom and removed my panties and bra and
hid them under the sink.  I vaguely remember my mother telling me
that it was very obvious and why was I 'mocking' the female body.
To her this was a terrible sin, being the good Roman Catholic she
was.  (Indicative of upbringing more than religious affiliation.
Not meant to offend, I attend Church regularly myself)

I continued to CD through high school wearing panties when the urge
hit me and a bra under a shirt and sweater during the winter.  I started
to shop lift bras to supplement my 'wardrobe' and got caught once.
Fortunately, I convinced the salesman it was a high school prank and
my parents would kill me if they found out.  He let me go with a verbal
slap of the hand.

I continued to CD once I was on my own and attending college.  I
would purchase via mail order, mostly from Sears.  I would often
wear panties, stockings and bra to class under a sweatsuit I had
at the time.  After multiple trips in this outfit, I caught the
image of my back in a mirror in a restroom in school and to my
horror you could plainly see my bra straps and back through the
jacket.  I knew that the back of this jacket was thinner because
it was designed for bicycle riding but never realized that it
showed through.  I had to skip the rest of my classes that day and
headed home.  The next day I thought everyone was looking peculiarly
at me.  I still don't know how many persons actually realized what I
had been doing.

I once wore a lightweight bra under a tank shirt to school one day.
I had again convinced myself that it could not be seen.  I made just
about the whole day and was headed to my car when an attractive young
lady approached me and with a genuine smile told me my bra strap was
showing and proceeded to adjust my tank top strap over it.  I was so
stunned I didn't say a thing.  I couldn't look back at her as she walked
past me towards the school as I quickly headed to my car.

I have attempted to pass once.  Whether it was successful, I'm not sure.
I guess it was psuedo-pass really.  I had to make a trip and made the
return trip en femme. (is that correct?)  I stopped in a motel and paid
for one night.  I then got my wardrobe that consisted of a modest pair
of jeans, a light cotton blouse, pantyhose, lace panties, Sears 'Ahhh'
bra (my personal favorite), a pair of clip on earrings, a modest gold
neclkace and a pair of black flats.  I curled my hair as best I could,
shaved as close as I could, put on a full complement of makeup and got
completely dressed including appropriately sized water balloons in my
38B bra.

Relying on the cover of darkness and once I was completely dressed, I
left the motel key locked in the room and headed out on my trip I knew
had to end at my home.  It was a 300+ mile drive.  As I drove I tried
to take notice if anyone noticed me.  I did not get any unusual looks.
I attempted to go into a number of 'Waffle House' type restaurants but
failed each time to build up the courage.  I did make myself visible
a number of times by stopping at phones for an excuse to get out of
my car.  Each time persons that passed either took no or little notice.
Once the trip was finished I was exhilarated and disappointed.  It was
great, but I didn't want it to end.

Well now I routinely CD with bra, panties and pantyhose to work.  I have
quite a commute to work and wear the bra with appropriately sized water
balloons the round trip.  I have noticed that people don't really look
at other people in cars.  They mostly look at the other cars.  This is
not to say that I don't attempt to hide my obvious breasts when I feel
it is necessary.  Half my trip is usually under cover of darkness, the
other half I will temporarily disguise my breasts a number of ways,
whether I put on a jacket, change my stature or worst case, temporarily
remove my breasts.  I always remove my bra before entering work and
put it back on after I leave the parking lot.  I have gotten real good
at getting dressed in a moving car. :-)

I am het., don't have any homosexual tendencies at all.  I have been
known to scream (only so I could hear it) at the top of my lungs
(while CD'ed) that I wish I had a women's body.  I don't want to be one
all the time though.  I want a switch or a drug I can use to swap back
and forth.  SRS is not an option for me, I don't know if that is a
blessing or a curse.  The man in me loves women, rock climbing, football 
rock 'n' roll, and sports facial hair.  The women in me cries easily,
loves lacy underwear, wants to shave her legs and listens to soothing
classical music.

Well I hope many of you have gotten this far without falling a sleep.
I warned you it was long, but felt I wanted to tell as much of my
story as I could.  Thank you all for the support I am now finding here.
I will be back, hopefully, to support some of you as I have been
supported.


Hugs, hugs longer then this bio
Tierney

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