Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Tuesday, 17 Nov 1992 13:54:43 CST
From: <U16244@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh,rec.arts.comics.misc
Subject: LNH: ANARKY QUEST! The Madness Lives On.

[When we last left the Integrity Questors, Lost Cause Boy ASSUMED that
everyone was hanging around to go into the Comic Conspiracy, maybe.  That
depended on the author.  But they were supposed to go off together.  But now,
LCB, Panta and Curly are hanging around, waiting for Anarky to show up.]

The opposite rear cover has LCB looking at his watch, Panta holding her ear to
the ground and Curly scratching his head.  LCB is speaking. "I thought you
gave him directions."

*             *            *               *            *           *

Lost Cause Boy looked up from his watch, looking at Curly. "You did tell him
where to meet us, didn't you?  You did tell him I forgot about Star-writer who
was trapped in the heart of ERNIE's main complex."

"Uhhhhhh, yeah coitenly," Curly said.  He turned and started slinking off.

Panta looked up. "I told you he'd screw up.  Curly, you told Kid Anarky that
we were waiting for him to look for Star-writer, right?"

"Kid Anarky?  I t'ought you was talkin' about Kid Koiby," Curly spoke up as
a figure in brilliant Golden Armor (tm) showed up.

"What mortals summon the assistance of... oh, it's you guys?  Have fun during
the Comics Conspiracy?" KK asked.

LCB glanced towards Curly, who started making the "nyah-ah-ah-ah-ah" noise,
then started barking.  LCB pulled out a power drill, his hair suddenly shaping
to a Bowl #4 haircut. "And you thought the spirit of Ron Post was bad..."

"Wait!" Panta spoke up, going between the pair.  LCB lowered the power drill.
"It was an honest mistake.  Besides, you were the one who blew his feeble
Liefeld brain-cells with those Moore issues of Miracleman."

"Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk," Curly chuckled, stepping closer to LCB.

"Remind me to murder you later," LCB snarled, returning to his normal form.
He looked at Kid Kirby. "Sorry about that.  I didn't realize that I was pulling
the rug out so fast.  Considering we went through dozens of issues just
rescuing an LNH'er, and not even real writers, this series COULD have gone
on for an Etern..."

"Look," Panta said holding up a comic book.  On the cover was Kid Anarky,
looking confused, the word balloon going vertical as he called for them.

"Cripes!  He got his own series!" LCB cried.

"Not only that, but he called us the Four Horsepersons," Curly said, pointing
it out. "Cool!  LNH action figures!!!"

LCB wacked Curly in the face with the Vertical Ascent issue.  He saw the back
cover, with them on it, in an inverted form. "Oh great.  Wojtowicz!!!"

(Yes?)

"Uhhh, are you responsible for this?" LCB asked, showing the inverted backup
feature. "This looks like a frickin' issue of Youngblood!"

(Well, I didn't want Kid Anarky to feel left out.  Besides, you guys weren't
doing anything because I didn't see any more issues of the Comics Conspiracy.)

LCB looked to Panta. "And this guy is my creator.  Someone shoot me."

>B L A M M O ! <

LCB got off the ground as Kid Kirby lowered his arm cannon. "Well, you asked
for it."

"Thank you no end," LCB croaked. "Now, while I'm recovering from internal
injuries, why don't you join the knucklehead and try and find Anarky."

"Okey dokey, but I thought she was your girlfriend," Curly said, putting his
arm through the crook of Panta's.  Panta flipped him over like Droopy
flipping the wolf in an old MGM cartoon.

"Well, we're not going to be getting anywhere fast.  We'd better do something
to make this series truly huge and full of all kinds of guest stars," Panta
said.

Curly shook his head. "Well, if you're actin' that way about it..."

"A swear, the last issue had more guest stars than a Woody Allen..." LCB
froze. "Wojtowicz!!!!!!"

The rumble of irate LNHer's charged towards the trio as they were frozen,
like deer in headlights.  Kid Kirby managed to take off, flying into an
escape orbit before the trio were trampled.

(Huge double double gatefold splash page of every member of the LNH stomping
all over LCB, Curly and Panta.)

Panta glanced at LCB. "We're going to have to work on your problem."

"Just be glad I wasn't explaining a Cheer's episode," LCB groaned, laying
back.

Just then a portal opened up from kepler.unh.edu, depositing a lone, unknown
figure into the fray as the LNH took off.

He watched as LCB panicked, picking up the limp, lifeless form of Curly,
rushing him to the Doctor who had helped out Panta.

He stepped closer as LCB returned, shaken, leaning on Panta's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" asked the lithe, catwoman, breathing deeply and making the
newcomer strangely uncomfortable.

"It's Curly.  It's horrible.  Unbelievable..." LCB sobbed.

"What!  What ees eet mahn?" Panta snarled.

Just then, a short, dumpy black and white figure stood in the door, with
Curly's head, only its tongue hanging out, and wishker's growing from it's
cheeks.  Beneath the head was the body of a cat.

"That derranged Doctor... has transformed Curly yet again.  He's... now...
>sob, gasp, heavy sigh< a PROTO-STIMPY!!!!!" LCB exploded, bawling onto
Panta's shoulder as she clutched him.

"Oh, that poor... idiot?" Panta asked as Curly went hopping along. "Dah!
I will now be the new mascot for the Three Horsemen."

"No!  First Anarky!  Now Curly?!?  How will we recover?" LCB bawled.

"Uh, I'm sorry.  Someone named Mike said I'd meet with you people?" the
figure said.

LCB perked up. "Do you have a name or identity yet?"

"Uh, no, but my creator should be posting to this list any moment now, and
I'll have an identity, and possibly become a member of your team.  At least
he said that much.  But what about Kid Anarky?" the figure asked.

"Yes!  We have to follow in the wake of Anarky as he goes about his quest to
answer the mystery that is his life!  The first mission for the Four Horsemen
and Curly will be... LNH: ANARKY QUEST!!!  An even larger crossover,
introducing more mayhem, and possibly branching off into a battle against
the Defactoed alt.fan.bugtown!!!  EEEEEEYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!"

LCB started walking down the hall, Curly skipping brainlessly behind him,
tongue wagging in the wind, as LCB started counting off on his fingers.

"We'll have  the Crosspost Brothers again.  We'll call in the entire legion
every time I say the 'w' word.  We'll blow through alt.fan.tv.ren&stimpy in
a quest for the new father of Curly after he got stomped all over by
Captain Ret-con.  We'll go and rescue Star-writer, get on Good Morning
America, have two hot new SEGA video games, an IBM interactive CD game,
a breakfast cereal, a cheesy Saturday morning cartoon on one of the networks,
and a daily in syndication, I'll work a deal with Beretta for the
official Anarky Quest Commemorative Beretta 96 in .40 S&W..."

Panta looked back to the readers on the net. "Lord help us, we are
SCREWED!!!"

Lost Cause Boy (tm) Douglas P. Wojtowicz.
Panta (tm panting) Hubert Bartells.
Mysterious figure (tm) Mike Escruita (?) spelling
Kid Anarky (missing in tm) Stephane Savoie
Curly (tm impaired)  Douglas P. Wojtowicz.

ALRIGHT KIDS! (Captain Capitalize here) START JUMPING UP AND DOWN LIKE
HYPERACTIVE IDIOTS RIGHT NOW!  INTRODUCING....
ANARKY QUEST!  THE SEARCH FOR KID ANARKY A whole new unlimited limited
series with Crossovers in every part of the know universe!!!!  Get your
Anarky Quest Action playset RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!!
Xref: sparky alt.comics.lnh:182 rec.arts.comics.misc:7656