From: yal@cltr.uq.oz.au (Yvette Lian)
Subject: Re: Questionnaire for HIV-negative people
Keywords: HIV negative AIDS safer sex psychology gay bi
Organization: Centre for Language Teaching and Research, Uni of Queensland, AUSTRALIA.
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 1992 13:09:22 GMT

>In article <Bzn32w.Cr2@world.std.com> wij@world.std.com (William I Johnston) writes:
>:I am writing a book about the social and psychological issues
>:that face gay and bisexual men who learn that they are HIV-negative.


In article <Bzn6JE.6L8@demon.co.uk> gtoal@pizzabox.demon.co.uk (Graham Toal) writes:
>Is it just me who's callous and insensitive, or does anyone
>else think this is all just getting rather silly?
>
>How about a support group for people who haven't contracted multiple
>sclerosis this week?
>
>How about a support group for guilt-ridden Liberals who didn't die
>of starvation this week?
>
>How about going out and helping people who *need* help, if that's how
>you get your jollies.
>
>"I don't believe it.  Oh no, I haven't got Aids.  Why me?"  Sheesh.  Guilt
>like that people can live with, OK?


This is the first time I've been really inclined to call any of the regular
soc.bi'ers a fool.  But really Graham... you're it!  Fool.

<bitch mode off>

While you mightn't be incredibly concerned about the effects of the
possibility of having AIDS, others are.  First of all, there are those
whose lives are turned around by the fact that they might have AIDS.  I'll
briefly describe to you the case of a friend, to make it clear why I'm calling
you a fool:

Rob does something silly and goes to a minimum security prison for two
months.  During that time, he gets assigned to work in the infirmary,
because of his own poor health.  Used needles are lying around everywhere.
He happens to stick himself with one of them.  He finds out later one of
those needles was used on a patient who is HIV-positive.  Result: when he
is released from jail, he must deal with the possibility that he might
become HIV-positive, that he might well pass it on to his wife etc.  

Fine, I hear you say, so what.

The fact is that for some people it ISN'T so easy to go have an antibody
test.  This guy tore himself up for months to try to convince himself that
he had to go have this test, to put his mind at rest.  He was scared that
it would ruin his wife's life, that he might have given it to her somehow,
that he might have hurt his children somehow, that he might die, leaving
his wife and kids to fend for themselves.. among other things.  He
experienced everything from anxiety, guilt, self-hatred, to name just a few
things you seem to think are trivial!

Ends up he went and had the test, and it came up negative.  But that's not
really what this guy (the dude thinking of writing the book) is on about,
Graham!  
He's talking about the feelings, the emotions, the stresses, anxiety and
frustration that comes with having HIV tests.

So please, Graham, don't make a joke about this.  It's not funny.  

You mightn't feel anything about it, but for others it's a big concern.
Apart from the people who actually have HIV tests, there are counsellors,
doctors, friends and lovers who would really be interested in the sort of
information he's trying to get through the survey.  Don't try to belittle
him or his efforts.  Just complete the survey and pour the next cup of
coffee.

Fool.


--
Yvette Lian
yal@lingua.cltr.uq.oz.au 
FIDO: 3:640/352 
IRC nick: Maxine2
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