HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: v089l3s3@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (JER HORWITZ)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: best friend gets my "dream girl"
Date: 24 Dec 92 06:23:00 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <tai-231292220649@slip-x48.ots.utexas.edu>, tai@utaphy.ph.utexas.edu (peter) writes...
> 
>Recently i've met a girl, not just any ordinary girl, we're talking about
>the girl of my dream.  She's everything that i've ever wanted in a woman. 
>So we meet and talk and she ends up being my best friend's girl. 

Whoever answers the above, try this one on for size, too...

I met a girl who fits the above description perfectly, and I tried my 
best (although I'm admittedly inexperienced in such things) to get her
to go out with me or whatever. [I was totally honest with her in every
way, so you need not recommend anything on that subject.] She never
really responded, but said we'd talk later, and then she seemed to be
avoiding me when I saw her again (or, perhaps, was avoiding me).
Meanwhile, I still think she's perfect [save this slight problem], 
but she then asked a friend of mine (who is her exact opposite in
values/morals/mindset/theology/etc.) and he turned her down -
because she was his opposite.

Any advice? Just forget her? 
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Re: Equality...
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems, Inc.
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 93 01:23:27 GMT

In article <93003.182634ICSJM@ASUACAD.BITNET> <ICSJM@ASUACAD.BITNET> writes:
>1--women don't have the same strength as men....a 110 lb. woman can not carry
>    her partner 25 miles back to a pick up point, and arrive on time

I don't think a 110lb male could carry his partner that far either.
I do agree with you that men are naturally stronger, but then men are
also bigger and more heavily boned, therefore able to carry the extra
muscle around...

>2-I don't care WHAT kind of training a woman has, she still cannot hit as hard
>    as a man.

With the right training, she doesn't have to.  A good roundhouse kick
from a woman will put down just as fast as one from a man.

>3-  Men have an inate behavior towards violance.....a woman would have to be
>    trained, and the training would be too time consuming.
>4- A woman could not do what my partner and I did, in NAM.....I don't care how
>   much training she had, a woman would not have survived.

I don't think anyone is saying that a woman could do what you did in
Nam, and I don't know if I even want to know what that was.  There
are, however, some things in a combat situation that a woman could do.

I think too much emphasis has been put on a woman's "enate"
disposition to perserve life.  Men have that also.  Just because we
don't bring babies into the world, doesn't mean that we value life any
less.

*Anyone* can be trained to kill, and will kill if put in the right
set of circumstances, I don't care *what* they say.  You push the
right buttons, and a woman will lean toward violence just as much as
a man.

I think going back and forth on this is really pointless, we are all
agreeing on the basic ideas here, women can't funtion the same way as
a man in a combat situation, and yes, there are some things that a
woman just can't do.  I just don't buy that a woman will not kill
just because she is a woman.

But by Gawd this is a stimulating thread!

rip
-- 
While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: kkwwkk@mixcom.com (TA Shaw)
Subject: Re: Equality between men and women; is there such a thing?
Organization: Milwaukee Internet Xchange BBS, Milwaukee, WI U.S.A.
Distribution: na
Date: Sun, 03 Jan 1993 05:44:22 GMT

In article <1993Jan3.012253.22642@mercury.cair.du.edu> charon@zephyr.cair.du.edu (Spaz) writes:
>
>Equality between men and women.  Equality straight across the board.  Not 
>Equal when it suits a purpose, Not Equal just when it's convenient, but
>Equality at ALL times be it good, or bad.  Knowing this, do you still
>wish to be equal?


Yes complete equality is possible and such a thing can exist.

I guess it depends upon the individuals whether or not
they want such a thing.

Regards,

BDC
-- 
  May I walk in beauty.  Make my eyes      | TA Shaw          |        oOO 
  ever behold the red and purple sunset.   | shaw@mixcom.com  |  _____ OO 
  Make my hands respect the things you have+------------------| (_/-\_)..
  made, and my ears sharp to your voice - Chief Yellow Lark   | ==(0).
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Subject: Re: DRIEM
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
Date: 28 Dec 1992 18:05 EST  

In article <1992Dec28.213551.5120@unislc.uucp>, erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes...
>Dave - Silon (Gleeep@cup.portal.com) wrote:
> 
>: REMEMBER: There are no 'answers,' only people in search of
>: Reddy Kilowatt's parents.
> 
>Naaah.  Answers are all around us - 

Sure, Ed ... the question is "Will I Find Love ?",  but the only answer that's
floating around is 8 x 10E(-2) ... somehow, that's too existential even for 
me ! :-)


>... just learn to open your eyes to the wonder of life...

Is it ok if I just open my eyes and wonder *about* life ? It seem to be a 
natural combination these days. 

>Who and what would you be if you went beyond your deepest fears?

Uh ... Dan Quayle ?!?!? 

-- Stephen

{Experimental .sig # 30245/T}

Humans -- 

	Beings stupid enough to create their own monsters, and then 
	curse their luck when they run into them.
From: gunter@tartarus.uwa.edu.au (Gunter Ahrendt)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: This Really BITES IT! (Pardon My Language)
Date: 1 Jan 1993 12:37:22 GMT
Organization: The University of Western Australia
NNTP-Posting-Host: tartarus.uwa.edu.au
Keywords: Rats, RATS, RATS!!!!!!

jturner@lonestar.utsa.edu (John M. Turner) writes:

>Well, I can say I'm in a similar boat.  I'm down here in San Antonio (South
>Texas, that is :-) ) and I manage to meet a very wonderful woman who lives
>in Minnesota.  After looking at assorted maps, I find that we live 1012 miles
>apart, give or take a few.  However, I certainly don't hold the record for
>long distance.... (but I bet I can compete on the long distance bill *grin*)

Lets see, i'm in Perth, Western Australia, and the one i love...in NY 
That's opposite ends of the earth...can't get much further apart than that :(
But not for too much longer ;)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen)
Subject: Keith et al.
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 1992 12:21:05 GMT

	Yes Keith, I'm out here and today is Christmas. Most of the things 
you describe WILL happen. Our youngest daughter and her husband will join
us for Christmas dinner which will be "the best" as it always has been
with Elizabeth making the meal.
	In a more serious vein, Keith, let me say this: I have many blessings,
a life after a Vietnam brain tumor (I served with the Aussies there), 
survival after open heart surgery, etc., but there is NO blessing as 
great as my Elizabeth who is the love of my life.
	What else can I say?


		John Fippen   fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: lkahn@mitre.org (Larry Kahn)
Subject: Dating survey (Only 2 questions)
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 15:15:37 GMT

Hi,
   I've had this discussion with a number of friends and decided to put it 
on the net and compile the results.  I've also posted this to soc.singles 
so please respond only once.  
   Question 1 - (Only relevant if you're married, been married, engaged, 
or in a fairly formalized permanent relationship).  How many different 
people did you have to date until you found the person that you ended up 
with and how old were you when it happened?  For my purposes, "date" 
includes any specifically arranged meeting, even if you only saw them once 
(like meeting via a personal ad) but wouldn't include going to a party and 
meeting a bunch of people there.  Obviously, if the number is large just 
give a reasonable order of magnitude estimate.
   Question 2 - Approximately what percent of the people that you meet do/did 
you feel at least have/had a reasonable chance of being a good match for you?  
Or conversely, what percent could you rule out fairly quickly? 

   If you'd like to respond, please e-mail (preferable, so as not to 
clutter up the net) or post, and I'll post the results in a few weeks.  
Thanks,
                Larry

   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
   | Larry Kahn                       |                                  |
   | The MITRE Corporation            |   BE REASONABLE. DO IT MY WAY.   |
   | lkahn@mitre.org                  |                                  |
   |---------------------------------------------------------------------|
   |  These opinions may not coincide with my employer's (not that they  |
   |  pay any attention to an insignificant lackey like me, anyhow).     |
   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@vccnw04.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: I think it's over..
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 22:22:59 GMT

<ICSJM@ASUACAD.BITNET> writes:

>it appears she has more respect for her parents then she does for you.  I know
>it's hard to get through this....I know, I'm doing it now, when things get real
>bad, I think about all the fantasic things we did together, when we were
>together.....helps for a while, kinda takes the edge off...I still really
>hurt, but am still trying to remain friends....false hopes (maybe)

 Not so much false hopes as wishful thinking.  IMHO, if someone breaks up
with you, for ANY reason, you MUST get distance ASAFP (e.g. not speak to
them at all), for quite some time, to let the wounds heal.  Otherwise, you'll
never get over her.

-- 
Cat Owner/Passionate Romantic/Poet/Singer/Dreamer/Philosopher...
That's me!  Modest?  Sometimes.  Crazy?  BETTER BELIEVE IT!! :&)
"The greatest beauty in the world is beauty that is private."
"Protect endangered species!  Contribute to the Exxon Supporter's Fund!"
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Wednesday, 23 Dec 1992 12:30:54 MST
From: <IDMLH@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: The "snydrome" (was re: I think it's over)
Distribution: na
 <92357.144140ICSJM@ASUACAD.BITNET> <!+t2q7=@rpi.edu>
 <23DEC199213504361@nssdca.gsfc.nasa.gov>


I have been married for 3+ years.  The whole time I felt
that my husband thought I was his maid/sex kitten.  That's it,
nothing else but those two things.  He has never been able to
express his feelings very well and sometimes steps on mine.
Though I get angry at his insensitivity it does no real good.
He just gets upset because I'm upset with him (quoting the
Energizer Bunny:  "it keeps going and going and going")!
But this last summer I had had enough!  I was tired of being
treated like a kid sister instead of a wife.  I had interest
in someone else.  But to my surprise my husband was actually
trying his best to communicate how he felt about me.  I saw
that he was trying and decided to try again too.  So, you see
two people can come together in the middle.  It just takes
open, honest communication.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bipin@iastate.edu (Bipin K Dalmia)
Subject: any newsgroup about married life??
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, IA
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 17:26:53 GMT

are there any newsgroups that discuss MARRIED LIFE? or is that an
oxymoron as i believe???

bip

-- 
bipin k. dalmia               the other night i was lying on my bed, looking
bipin@iastate.edu             up at the beautiful stars, and i said to myself, 
n2.bkd@isumvs.iastate.edu     'where the F*CK is my ROOF !!'
--
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: "What shall I get my husband for Christmas?"
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 20:51:40 GMT

fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen) writes:

>My wife asks me every year "What shall I get you for Christmas?" and 
>this is a difficult question because I already have drawers full of socks, shirts,
>ties (which I never wear!), thermal underwear, pj's, etc. So you can see that
>I really don't NEED any of these THINGS, and so I don't want any THING for 
>Christmas. In this world full of hate, killings, rapes, muggings, robbery, 
>movies with a killing a minute,four letter words at every turn, well, what I 
>really want is for my wife and daughters to tell me they love me, hug me, and
>be happy in this house. Love isn't just something, it's EVERYTHING. If we will
>all love one another the world will be a better place. Love, try it.

 Wow!  I thought I was romantic, but this guy blows me away.  Such a lovely
sentiment.  Problem is that, as you said, the world is about as FAR from loving
as it can get without degenerating into endless civil wars.

 A quote to think about:

 "Romance is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

 In that case, I have one HECK of an imagination.  :&)


-- 
Cat Owner/Passionate Romantic/Poet/Singer/Dreamer/Philosopher...
That's me!  Modest?  Sometimes.  Crazy?  BETTER BELIEVE IT!! :&)
"The greatest beauty in the world is beauty that is private."
"Protect endangered species!  Contribute to the Exxon Supporter's Fund!"
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Communication between the sexes.
From: soswald@charlie.usd.edu
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 17:37:33 GMT
Reply-To: soswald@charlie.usd.edu
Organization: The University of South Dakota Computer Science Dept.

Hi folks,


good.  At least from a female perspective.  And the men that I talked to that
had read it, said it was accurate from a male perspective.  It was very 
informative and helped me answer some questions for myself about a relation-
ship that went sour.  

Thought you might be interested.
Sandy 
SOSWALD at Charlie.USD.EDU
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: altinbay@netcom.com (John Altinbay)
Subject: Re: help!  worried about friends...
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 04:04:56 GMT

In article <278@cnmhnet.UUCP> keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard) writes:
>In article <1992Dec28.035809.29078@samba.oit.unc.edu> Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes:
>>Help!
>>Two friends of mine (ages 17 and 19) are engaged, which in itself is not 
>>necessarily a bad thing, but...
>
>Do your friends have access to the Net?  If so, they can receive
>all the advice they need from here.

iWhich newsgroup would you suggest?  The bulk of the advice they are likely
to get on the net unless you choose the group really carefully is going to
be really bad.

>  Another alternative is YOU.
>Can't you help your friends out?  Or do they want an unbiased
>third party observer?  

If they are really willing to listen, this could work out well.

I'm afraid they're very unprepared for marriage if they haven't dealt with
the obvious issues.  There are a lot of aspects of having a relationship
that you just can't know about unless you get there or listen very well to
those with experience.

They won't listen to this, but I would strongly suggest that they wait
and discuss and work out a lot of things before they go ahead.  Can
anyone out there recommend any good relationship books for them to go
through?  They can do a lot worse than to start with Dr. M. Scott Peck's
"The Road Less Travelled".

Good luck to the pair - they'll need plenty.


-- 
John Altinbay   -   altinbay@netcom.com
===============================================================
There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end.
Xref: sparky alt.romance:15576 soc.men:21947 soc.women:21979 alt.sex:40650 soc.couples:4493 soc.singles:35095
From: satan@wpi.WPI.EDU (Matthew James Meyer)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.men,soc.women,alt.sex,soc.couples,soc.singles
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
Date: 31 Dec 1992 17:26:10 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu

In article <stone.725819462@cwis> stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes:
>******************************************************************
>
>Strong enough to keep from *breaking* a heart, through thoughtlessness,
>lack of love, or indifference....
>
>****************************************************************** 
>
>T.R. Stone
>
>


Strong enough to open the package a condom is in...


-- 
*******************************************************************************
* satan@wpi *
*           * my lips may promise, but my heart is a whore - nin
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: barrett@server.cs.jhu.edu (Dan Barrett)
Subject: Re: expectations and idealism
Reply-To: barrett@cs.umass.edu
Organization: Johns Hopkins Computer Science Department, Baltimore, MD
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 1992 02:47:04 GMT

>The Rodman (burger@convex1.tcs.tulane.edu) wrote:
>: In article <22DEC199209121423@iago.caltech.edu> lanny@iago.caltech.edu (Hsieh, Lai Lanny) writes:
>: >  [ Lots o' stuff deleted. ]
>: >  Synopsis: She loves him.  He is understated in word and in deed.  She 
>: >            feels unappreciated.  He makes it seem like it's her fault. 
>:     IMHO, it sounds like he's taking you and your relationship for granted.

In article <1992Dec23.215700.28002@plx.com> asgard@sparky (J.R. Stoner) writes:
>After hearing this response to a genuine question, I now feel that his (the
>unasked remote lover's) behaviors are more honest than yours....  Has it
>ever occurred to you that the remote one demeanor is *natural*.  There is a
>whole world of people who have genuine feelings and emotions, yet are not so
>promiscuous in their display.

	Yes, maybe her boyfriend is naturally quiet.  But there is a
difference between "being quiet" and "not communicating."  It sounds to me
like there is a definite lack of communication in this relationship.
Regardless of who is at fault, if this non-communication persists, the
relationship is going to get progressively unhappier, at least for her.

                                                        Dan

 //////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
| Dan Barrett -- Dept of Computer Science, Lederle Graduate Research Center |
| University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA  01003  --  barrett@cs.umass.edu |
 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////////////////////
From: bobert@informix.com (Robert Murphy)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: ADVICE GIVERS - help me please
Date: 21 Dec 92 23:47:16 GMT
Organization: Informix Software, Inc.

an2517@anon.penet.fi writes:
>          I need some help with a problem of mine.  It involves my
>boyfriend who, has moved to my hometwon for the year to make some
>money to travel.  His family lives 5 hours away, and we met when we
>were at University together and have been going out for 2 years.
>We both just graduated and took some jobs just to make some cash,
>these jobs aren't expected to last more than another 6 months.  Since
>our families live in different cities, we thought it would be nice if
>we could spend the year together, instead of having it long distance,
>which we usualyy do over the summers.
>          So here is the problem, he is really grumpy lately.  He
>complains about everything in my hometwon.  He hates his job, hates
>the weather, hates the fact that it takes us 5 hours to drive to see
>his friends.  I understand, and try to be as sympathetic as possible,
>but there is anly so much that I can take.

	<Story about party/unhappiness removed>

I would suggest that at the end of your six-month jobs, you move to his
city for six months.  That will tell you whether his attitude problem is
really due to living in your hometown, or because of something that's wrong
in the relationship.  (My guess is that it's something wrong in the 
relationship.)

Regards,
Bob
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: burger@convex1.tcs.tulane.edu (The Rodman)
Subject: Re: expectations and idealism
Nntp-Posting-Host-[nntpd-4858]: convex1.tcs.tulane.edu
Organization: Tulane University, New Orleans, LA
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 20:27:16 GMT

In article <22DEC199209121423@iago.caltech.edu> lanny@iago.caltech.edu (Hsieh, Lai Lanny) writes:
>
>  [ Lots o' stuff deleted. ]
>  Synopsis: She loves him.  He is understated in word and in deed.  She 
>            feels unappreciated.  He makes it seem like it's her fault. 
>
    IMHO, it sounds like he's taking you and your relationship for granted.
    Whatever you feel is geniune.  You should never let anyone invalidate or 
    dismiss your feelings if the only basis on which they can attack them is 
    that they are "petty."  Listen to what he's saying here.  He's saying,
    "I think your feelings are petty."  If he can't (or even worse won't)
    respect your feelings, ask yourself (and probably him as well) how he
    really feels about you and your relationship.  Relationships are not a 
    passive undertaking.  They require a lot of continuous effort and hard 
    work by both sides.  But from what you've described, he has failed to
    live up to his end of the deal.  And it doesn't sound very promising
    for the future if he's already resigned himself to experiencing the
    rest of his life vicariously through Channel Z. 

       --The Rodman

---------Form .sig-----------Cut Here-----------Form .sig--------------
Brought to you by ______burger@convex1.tcs.tulane.edu__________.
	 	         (clever handle/net address)

Obligatory Disclaimer:  The (views/flames/falsehoods) expressed above
   are not representative of those of ______________________________.
                                         (reputable organization)

Obligatory Rhyming and/or Philosophical Verse:  The road foresaken,
                                                Is the road worth taking,
                                                For the man unshaken,
                                                In himself.
----------Form .sig-----------Cut Here-----------Form .sig--------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
From: Richard Iswara <ri0a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Date: Fri,  1 Jan 1993 22:40:06 -0500 
Organization: Masters student, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

In article <C04LDD.BL3@world.std.com> aep@world.std.com (Andrew E Page) writes:
>Strong enough to keep two hearts from breaking.
>
>(Any more along this line?)

There are a lot of responses already. But I'll pitch in. So, how strong 
should a man be? (not just a man, I think)
IMHO, a person should be strong enough to endure, survive and triumph over
the trials of his life and emerge with his enjoyment and enthusiasm for
life intact.

Richard
From: sdares@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: American High School & bits......
Date: 25 Dec 92 23:46:46 -0400
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <BvC5v3.C69@kingston.ac.uk>, is_b420@kingston.ac.uk (Brendan Rooney) writes:
> 
> To all American readers:
> 
> 	Could someone pleeeeease explain to me about all this stuff in
> high school - y'know the school yearbook - the prom etc....  What does it all 
> mean? Does it mean anything? (No offence to anyone intended)  I see movies
> about some part of American life and it shows people looking in their yearbooks
> to see themselves in years past -- is it a requirement that everyone's face 
> appears there?   What exactly is the prom?
> 
> 
>      If someone could be kind enough to explain to a totally unknowledgeable
> guy (me) about all of it, I'd be chuffed!
> 
> 
> 	Brendan Rooney.
> 	is_b420@king.ac.uk
> 
> -------------------------------------------------
> Kingston University,
> Kingston-Upon-Thames,
> Surrey, ENGLAND (UK etc...)
> -------------------------------------------------