From: swongta@csws17.ic.sunysb.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Smilies :)
Date: 9 Oct 92 17:03:49 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Originator: swongta@csws17.ic.sunysb.edu

**** A Comprehensive List of Smilies ****

(-; compiled by a computer user who had nothing better to do ;-)


 :-o    Wow!                       :-c     Real unhappy

 :-|    Grim                       :-C     Just totally unbelieving

 := |   Baboon                     :-B     Drooling

 :-v    Speaking                   :-,     Smirk

 :-V    Shout                      :-||    Anger

 :-w    Speak with forked tongue   :-)     Smiling

 :-r    Sticking tongue out        :-(     Frowning

 :-*    Oops!                      '-)     Wink

 :-T    Keeping a straight face    ;-)     Sardonic Incredulity

 :-D    Said with a smile          %-<I>   Drunk with laughter

 :-x    Kiss kiss                  :-"     Pursing lips

 :-[    Pouting                    :-#     My lips are sealed

 :-X    A big wet kiss!            :-P     Tongue hanging out in anticipation

 :-Y    A quiet aside              8-|     Eyes wide with surprise

 >-<    Absolutely livid!!         &-|     Tearful

 |-{    "Good Grief!"  (Charlie Brown?)

 :-}	"Thish wine tashted pretty good"

 8-]	"wow, maaan"

 8-O	"Omigod!!" (done after "rm -rf *" ?)

 :-,	"Hmmmm."

 |~(	"Someone just busted my nose".

 :^D	"Great! I like it!"

 B-D     "Serves you right, dummy!!"

:-)   Your basic smiley. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
      joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
;-)   Winky smiley. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
      More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smiley.
:-(   Frowning smiley. User did not like that last statement or is upset
      or depressed about something.
:-I   Indifferent smiley. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as 
      good as a happy smiley
:->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:->  User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->  Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.

Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:

(-:   User is left handed
%-)   User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*)   User is drunk
[:]   User is a robot
8-)   User is wearing sunglasses
B:-)  Sunglasses on head
::-)  User wears normal glasses
B-)   User wears horn-rimmed glasses
8:-)  User is a little girl
:-)-8 User is a Big girl
:-{)  User has a mustache
:-{}  User wears lipstick
{:-)  User wears a toupee
}:-(  Toupee in an updraft
:-[   User is a Vampire
:-E   Bucktoothed vampire
:-F   Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-7   User just made a wry statement
:-*   User just ate something sour
;-(  User is crying
;-)  User is so happy, s/he is crying
:-@   User is screaming
:-#   User wears braces
:^)   User has a broken nose
:<)   User is from an Ivy League School
:-&   User is tongue tied.
+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-)  User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-)  Same thing...other side
|-I   User is asleep
|-O   User is yawning/snoring
:-Q   User is a smoker
:-?   User smokes a pipe
O-)   Megaton Man On Patrol!  (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P   Nyahhhh!
:-S   User just made an incoherent statement
:-D   User is laughing (at you!)
:-X   User's lips are sealed
:-C   User is really bummed
<|-)  User is Chinese
<|-(  User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
:-/   User is skeptical
C=:-) User is a chef
@=    User is pro-nuclear war
*<:-) User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
:-o   Uh oh!
(8-o  It's Mr. Bill!
*:o)  And Bozo the Clown!
3:]   Pet smiley
3:[   Mean Pet smiley
d8=   Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
:-9   User is licking his/her lips
%-6   User is braindead
[:-)  User is wearing a walkman
(:I   User is an egghead
<:-I  User is a dunce
K:P   User is a little kid with a propeller beenie
@:-)  User is wearing a turban
:-0   No Yelling!  (Quiet Lab)
:-:   Mutant Smiley
      The invisible smiley
.-)   User only has one eye
,-)   Ditto...but he's winking
X-(   User just died
C=}>;*{O)  Mega-Smiley... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft,
                          a mustache, and a double chin
:] - Gleep...a friendly midget smiley who will gladly be your friend
:) - Happy
:> - hmm, let me think...
:D - Laughter
:I - Hmmm, not funny!
:( - Sad
:[ - Real Downer
:< - what pretences!
:{ - oh boy, the headmaster!...
:O - Yelling
;( - Crying
[] - Hugs and
:* - Kisses


  :-1	smiley bland face
  :-!		"
  :-$	smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
  :-6	smiley after eating something sour
  8-)	smiley swimmer
  :-*	smiley after eating something bitter
  :-&	smiley which is tongue-tied
  :-0	smiley orator
  (:-(	unsmiley frowning
  =:-)	smiley punk-rocker
  =:-(  (real punk rockers don't smile)
  +-:-)	smiley priest
  :-o	smiley singing national anthem
  :-p	smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
  :-[	un-smiley blockhead
  :-]	smiley blockhead
  :-{	smiley variation on a theme
  :-}	ditto
  {:-)	smiley with its hair parted in the middle
  }:-)	above in an updraft
  g-)	smiley with pince-nez glasses
  :-\	undecided smiley
  :-/	lefty undecided smiley
  :-|	"have an ordinary day" smiley
  ;-)	winking smiley
  :-<	real sad smiley
  :-x	"my lips are sealed" smiley
  :-c	bummed out smiley
  :-v	talking head smiley
  :-?	smilely smoking a pipe
  0-)	smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
  :<	midget unsmiley
  :>	midget smiley

:-)	ha ha			~~:-(	net.flame
|-)	hee hee
|-D	ho ho
:->	hey hey
:-(	boo hoo			  X-(	net.suicide
:-I	hmm
:-O	uh oh			 >:-I	net.startrek
:-P	nyah nyah		 3:o[	net.pets
|-P	yuk

Male	:-
Female	>-

\:^)  - gumby smiley
8-o   - Mr. Bill smiley
:-{)  - moustache smiley
:^{)> - moustache and beard smiley
B^)   - Hornrimmed glasses smiley

   =|;()***<=====|    <---laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund
                            sideways -- this is the basic figure

   =};()****<=====|   laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
        F                   holding a gun

   =};()****<====|    laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
       =]                  carrying bedtray w/ glass of milk

   =};()****<^===|    lauging monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
                           w/ erection

   =};()****<====|    laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
         P                 carrying klaxon or posthorn


          /_
        /
   =}8()****<=====|   laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
        \  _               and opera cape and mask
          \

   =};()****<=====|   laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
       o0               carrying a large puffin
       v

   =};()****<=====|   laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
       <)___)= oooo     and Jetson jet-pack.

   =};()****<=====|   laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
         -- - - O        dropping a bowling ball or pumpkin.

   =};()****<=====|   laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,

                =o     and pet rabbit, noticeably  fatigued
     v           G
     |
   =};()****<=====|   laughing monocled man in tux and cummerbund,
     |                and unusually long Steve Martin-arrow-through-head trick
     V


From ccoffey Wed Apr  8 22:52 EDT 1992
Received: by engws1.ic.sunysb.edu; Wed, 8 Apr 92 22:52:31 edt
From: Craig Coffey <ccoffey>
Return-Path: <ccoffey>
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 92 22:52:27 EDT
To: mrovner (Marc D Rovner)
Subject: Re: i resign on 4/16
Status: RO

Marc (and all onlookers),

	How's this sound?


	Setting: 	S.U.N.Y. Stony Brook,  User Services.
	Time:		About 4:00, April 8th 1992.


	  Sarn sits in his office and wallows in the pathetic
	little cynical world that he has entered, waiting for
	a sign from God... No such sign comes.  What does come
	is far worse...

	(*Knock knock*)

	Sarn:			"Who the hell is it?"

	Enter: Craig

	Craig:			"Sarn, I heard you wanted to 
				 resign... is there something
				 wrong?"

	Sarn:			"Yeah, I'm sick and tired of 
				 this shit! I've worked my ass
				 off in this club, and nothing
				 seems to go right. This wasn't
				 in the job description!"

	Craig:			"So you're gunna dish it off to
				 someone else?  Do you think 
				 anyone will do a better job?
				 What the fuck is wrong with 
				 you? I happen to think you've
				 done the best with what you
				 have available to you, and I'm
				 sure everyone would agree."

	Sarn:			"Yeah, well maybe my best is
				 good enough for you, but it's
				 not good enough for me."

	Craig:			"*sigh* Ok! Now you've done it! 
				 I have to pull out the BIG guns..."

		<dramatic pause>

	Craig: 			"When you took office, we came to
				 your house and took you to Mt. Sinai.
				 When there, we had a small electronic
				 device installed at the base of your
				 skull, brainwashed all knowledge of the
				 procedure from your head, and returned
				 you to your home. This device contains 
				 a small charge of C-4 plastic explosives
				 and is armed to detonate with the 
				 push of a button."

	Sarn:			"What-   "

	Craig:			"Wait, there's more... Each member of
				 SBCSS has a detonator and was advised
				 of the proper time and manner to use
				 it.  Your resignation was one of those
				 times..."

	Sarn:			"So... You mean... If I resign..."

	Craig:			"KABLAM! Pieces of Sarn everywhere..."

	Sarn:			"How could you! I... You... They...
				 I'm gunna kill- HEY! Wait a minute.
				 You almost had me... You didn't do
				 all that... You're just saying that
				 so that I don't resign."

	Sarn pulls out a piece of paper and begins to write his resignation

	Craig:			"I wouldn't do that- "

	Sarn:			"Just shut the hell up... You tried,
				 go back to your scheming friends and
				 tell them that you failed! I'm still
				 resigning!"

	Craig:			"Boy, we sure can't pull a hood over
				 your eyes... say, what's that on your
				 shirt?"

	Sarn looks down:	"Where?"

	(*THWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*)

	Sarn falls to the floor with a sickening thud.

	Craig:			"Sorry Sarn, we tried the easy way..."

	Enter: Marc

	Marc:			"I see he didn't buy it..."

	Craig: 			"Yeah, had to resort to plan B.
				 you got the device?"

	Marc:			"Yep, and Bill's on his way with 
				 the surgeon, let's get set up
				 in the meantime."


	Craig and Marc lie Sarn's listless body on the desk face down.
	and begin setting up the proper tools.  Craig sees Sarns 
	resignation lying on the floor.  He picks it up, reads it,
	and just chuckles a bit as he crumples it up and throws it out.

	Scene fades to black...




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