From: jans@iplmail.orl.mmc.com (Jan Schonhoff)
Subject: Transitioning from Crib to Big Bed
Keywords: Crib, Big Bed
Organization: Martin Marietta
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 22:28:32 GMT


Help!!!.... I am in the process of trying to transition my 28mo daughter from
the crib to the "big bed". I am "ferberizing" her, and have been at it
for almost 2 weeks.  And I am very frustrated to say the least.  I have
read the "Crib to Bed Transition" FAQ, and unfortuneately, most parents who
responded to it had tykes who stayed in the bed for the transition.  Not my
daughter!!!!

To give a little background:

  We ferberized her at 4-6 months to learn to put herself to sleep in her
crib.  It was somewhat difficult for us as parents, but worked very well, and
she has been a great sleeper, both for naps and bedtime for the last year and
a half.  I am expecting our 2nd child in 6 weeks, so about 2-4 months ago, we
took the cribrail off one side of the crib, and put up a bedrail to begin the
transition to a "big bed".  She never once tried to get out of the crib, even
with the bedrail.  She seems to respond well to, and need confinement, i.e. the
crib rail or the bedrail to keep her in the crib.  (Same applies to a high chair
versus a booster chair..she eats well in the high chair--confined to it-- but a
booster chair allows her movement, so she is constantly up and down).  Right 
after Christmas, we decided to move her to the big bed and a new room, so we 
moved her toys, clothes and things one afternoon while she was sleeping, then 
when she woke up, we got her to help us move more of her things to her new room.
She was so excited.  That night we said if she wanted she could sleep in the big 
bed.  She wanted to and she did great for 4 days and nights.  Then the newness 
wore off, and she realized that she could get out of the bed at any time. (She
is in a queen size bed, and the bedrail is on one side, the other side against
the wall, but the bedrail does not fit the full length of the bed, so she can
crawl down at any time.)  This is what we have been fighting for the last 2 weeks.

  I put her in bed at naptime, and leave the door open.  When she gets down, I
put her back in the bed, and close the door for some number of minutes.  She 
wants the door open, but as soon as the door opens, she is down running into
the family room with the biggest grin on her face as if to say "Look, I can 
get out of bed!!!!"  It is a big game to her.  I put her back in bed, and close
the door again.  She constantly gets down and plays in her room until she
is good and ready to go to sleep, no matter how many times I put her back in the
bed and close the door.  This typically takes 45 minutes to an hour.  Just when
I am about to call it the end of naptime, she falls asleep in her bed.

  For bedtime, it is about the same, except she will stay in the bed while the
door is closed.  Once it opens, however, she is down and in the family room.
Bedtime takes typically 1 hour to an hour and 15 minutes for her to finally give
it up.  Both she and us parents are exhausted.  

  I have seen some (minimal) progress, but I am looking for suggestions or ideas
for such a headstrong little girl.  She was losing 2-3 hours of sleep a day, when
we first started this method, now it is only about 1 and 1/2 hours.  She does
eventually fall asleep on her own and in her bed, but it is rough working this
twice a day, and I work full time, but come home at naptime (I live close 
enough) to work it, as I felt allowing the nanny to work it until we got some
progress going was not the right thing to do.  My husband is a big help and 
working the issue with me, but we are both tired and frustrated and wondering
if we ought to try something else.

  We have considered getting a second bedrail and overlapping the two rails
to cover the length of the bed to see if the confinement would settle her
back down.  Or getting a child safety gate and confining her to her room (only
at nap time then she would just play for an hour at least!!).  Or sitting
in her room and making her get back in her bed when she tries to get down.
I know the "ferber" method typically works, but am beginning to question if it
will work on our little one, or if we just need to modify it somewhat, and if
so, to what???  I don't want to put her back in the crib because of the new
one coming so soon, and at first we did put her back in the crib when she
got down from the big bed, but she didn't really mind that either, just like 
she doesn't really mind the door closing.

  Sorry to make this so long, but as I said in the beginning, my husband and
I are tired and frustrated, and want to work the issue, but need some input as
to how to continue this transition.  Thanks.


Jan Schonhoff

email @ jan-schonhoff@orl.mm.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids