HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: c60b-1gs@web-1e.berkeley.edu (Allen Tom)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: ? Did you know ?
Date: 28 Sep 1992 05:05:19 GMT
Organization: Not!
NNTP-Posting-Host: web-1e.berkeley.edu
Keywords: Heat Musky damp moist steaming

In article <1992Sep27.231218.10121@walter.cray.com> jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll) writes:
>
>* One out of five dwellings in Great Britain is unfit for human habitation.
>

Then it isn't a dwelling, is it?

wubba wubba wubba!!

-- 
 _________________________________________________________________________
|Allen Tom  c60b-1gs@web.berkeley.edu |          Our Prime Directive:     |   
|           atom@ocf.berkeley.edu     |         PICCARD / RIKER for 92    |   
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: the 1914 generation
Date: 29 Sep 92 01:24:25 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
NNTP-Posting-Host: eno.wpd.sgi.com

---
One of the major tenets of the JW faith-- more notable even than
their rejection of such Big Christian Beliefs as the Trinity and
the immortality of the soul-- is their belief that the World as
We Know It came to an end in 1914.  Christ came, and the
beginning of the end was upon us.

The JWs feel very smug, because in the 1870s they predicted
Something Big would happen in 1914.  They trumpet this in their
magazines.  Of course, these magazines conveniently fail to
mention that what they actually predicted in the 1870s was the
beginning of Christ's Presence in 1875, and the Big Armageddon
in 1914.  They shift it slightly, cough, and cover their
mouths.

WWI was pretty big & muddy, but it wasn't Armageddon.  Not by
a long shot.  Oops.  Well, okay.  What this means, they said,
is that the world will end IN THIS GENERATION.  Like in Matthew
24, this generation will not pass away, you dig?

So, what's a generation?  Interesting question.  The JWs can't
seem to settle on an answer to that.  First, it meant that
adults in 1914 would see the end in their lifetimes.  "Millions
now living will never die!" they trumpeted in books & magazines
in the 20s.  Then it meant that people who were "old enough in
1914 to understand what happened" would see the end.  Then, as
those people got old & crusty around the edges, they redefined
the generation of the end to be people who were alive in 1914.

If you were born in 1914, you're 78 now.  Tick, tick, tick.

Then there is the JW Date Prediction Thing.  They predicted the
end in 1925.  They predicted that WWII would be the end.  They
predicted the end in 1975.  (They lost a lot of members in
1976.)  But the prediction that's really going to nail them is
this 1914/generation thing.  What are they going to do when 2014
hits and the end still hasn't come? 

Silly JWs.  They exploited "plausible deniability" about the
1976 thing, but it's gonna take a lot of shredders to cover up
78 years of 1914 Watchtower articles.

---
c j silverio
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: PJF4081@CC.UTAH.EDU (big daddy hate box)
Subject: Re: RACIST
Summary: duh
Keywords: duh
Reply-To: big daddy hate box
Organization: xenophobes of utah
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 92 05:33:07 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.24

In <UemBkva00VRBQJgq5D@andrew.cmu.edu> fj05+@andrew.cmu.edu writes:

% and if you couldn't figure it out - I don't hate Israel - it was an
% example for the sake of example
% 
% cool place - the govenment makes some annoying decisions, but it
% deserves to be there at this point just as much as any of its
% neighbors

	you should not waffle so much unless you first ask for syrup.
	please give yourself a frontal lobotomy and return when you
	have formed an opinion on something. thank you.

fi fj05+@andrew.cmu.edu
         name:  Faisal Nameer Jawdat
  affiliation:  Sophomore, Physics
      project:  to get through life without ever needing a computer

   login name:  fj05
 account used:  Wed Sep 30 23:00 (2 hours 33 minutes ago)
     new mail:  one message, which arrived Wed Sep 30 23:12 (2 hours 20
                minutes ago)

       e-mail:  fj05+@andrew.cmu.edu

         plan:  lines starting with dots are randomly genarated
.       quote:  don't believe what they say - it's the size
.        mike:  hej!  you is reading my plan - send me mail
.       quote:  rome wasn't built in the daytime
.        john:  cheer up - it will give you something to do
.       quote:  rome wasn't built in the daytime
        phone:  (412) 268-4878     (412) CMU-GURU
      fiz off:  unix5.andrew.cmu.edu
        since:  Thu Oct 1 00:57:00 EDT 1992


	PJF--->Biochem. grad student.
					React with this!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mbur@nyx.cs.du.edu (MAC)
Subject: Re: stopping the plague
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 92 22:41:48 GMT

In article <1992Sep28.161021.2820@Princeton.EDU> greg@phoenix (greg Nowak) writes:
>In article <1992Sep22.230040.26584@nmsu.edu>, sabbott@nmsu (SDA) writes:
>
>}I registered people at a voting booth last week.
>
>}The ones who registered republican got a 12 GHz blast from a horn
>}antenna aimed at the genital area while they were signing their name.
>
>You remind me of the old geeze at the voting booth the last time I
>voted in New Jersey who was "joking" about charging people  $5 for
>voting... People fought and died for the privilege of being able to go
>into a polling place and register for whatever political party they
>wanted.  Back when it was a burning-cross-on-the-lawn issue a lot of
>them were trying to vote for a Republican named Abraham Lincoln. 
>
>ANY fucking around with people's right to vote, no matter how
>innocent-seeming and playful, is hideous. Don't sell out your values
>to win the battle but lose the war.
>
>--greg                                     greg@phoenix.princeton.edu
>
>"Excuse me, but I created alt.sewing, and participated in the move to
>rec.crafts.textiles."        --sloane@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu (Bob Sloane)

<ding-ding-ding-ding-ding>

Ladies and Gentleman, we have a winner!

Sean, give this man a 12GHz blast from the horn antenna for taking
himself too seriously and thinking this is talk.politics.


TTFN
M
From: dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil (Kent Paul Dolan)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: dumbing down shakespeare
Date: 6 Oct 92 19:51:57 GMT

Chris Lyman sez:

> one of the riff-raff at the Globe Theatre ever asked Shakespeare
> to 'dumb down' his stuff

This man has obviously never read Archie and Mehitabell, in particular
the dynamite little satire, "horse shakespeare and me".

Trust me, the man who wrote those sonnets dumbed down his plays for the
crowd, very likely under management orders.

Kent, the man from xanth.
"The Birthright of humankind is the stars!"
--
Ignore the header, and don't expect me to see a news reply.  We don't get news.
Use email to: <dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil> or <dolan@192.138.87.240>
From: plord@pioneer.uspto.gov (Paul Lord)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep studies Reader-Response theory
Date: 2 Oct 92 08:30:57 GMT
Organization: United States Patent and Trademark Office


"Um, what exactly does Holland mean when he says, 'The self is a text?'"

-- 
paul - nothing, really, but he signifies a bunch
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Motorcycle Safety for Gay Men
Date: 6 Oct 1992 21:19:12 GMT
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com
NNTP-Posting-Host: eno.wpd.sgi.com


In article <9210061731.AA12080@helium>, dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil writes:
|CJ sez:
|> KPD Doesn't know that the Motorcycle Safety Foundation exists. ...
|Which reminds me, for all the gay men out there: the Navy Base
|Moffett Field mandatory motorcycle safety course attendance
|sticker on my ID card

You passed the course, and you STILL did the damn-fool-idiot
thing you did?  You're too stupid to live, Kent.

So I noticed you posted another bunch of articles to t.p.drugs
today, in which you did your usual thing of:

    - accusing your opponents of being brain-damaged by drugs,
      even the ones who don't use any
    - failing to substantiate any of your points with research
    - announcing that you won't be doing any research of your own
    - denigrating your opponent's citations by announcing that
      research is garbage
    - arguing ad hominem

I also noticed that you still haven't responded to my post about
rights.  If you had any self-awareness, you'd be ashamed of your
behavior.  As it is, the responses in t.p.d make it clear that
you have zero credibility.  Maybe you'd better just give it up.

---
cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com	C J Silverio/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720
"Allow me to say that the arguments with which you have supported this
extraordinary application have been as frivolous as the application was
misjudged.  You have widely mistaken my character, if you think I can be
worked on by such persuasions as these."  Jane Austen
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cjo@ukc.ac.uk (C.J.Ojeda)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Reunion
Summary: Blaaah
Date: 5 Oct 92 13:29:58 GMT
Reply-To: cjo@ukc.ac.uk (Cesar? )
Organization: Nepotism and Sons.

Nervous and tense, he knocks on the door. Choose a stance, quick!
The door opens. It's been ten or more years now but she still looks
the same. Carefully prepared lines, phrases run off into the 
depths of his mind. He knew it would be that way but still he
planned, mapping out a whole conversation based on vague memories
of an unknown character. All he can manage is a casual 'Hi' delivered
like a green actor who's unsure of his character.
 'You changed your mind.' She smiles, invites him in.
 'Yeah. I think I can cope with the idea now.' Improvisation seems to
be working and he relaxes, not too much though, this is important to 
him now. Got to get it right.
 'Not going to run out on me this time I hope?' Teasing.
 'I'm sorry Meddy but, you know, it was all too sudden last time. I
needed time to think.' Bit too whiney for his liking. He summons up
some nerve, assumes a move positive posture, must get his body 
language right. 'You rushed me. You know it's a hard decision to make
but you never gave me any time.'
 She waves off his protestation, walks out to the kitchen, checks the
pot then walks back in.
 'No doubts?' Serious this time. The tone of voice reminds him of a
teacher from his youth; stern, making it clear that no compromises
will be accepted.
 He looks around the room for the first time. Drab colours, all of 
them in dark shades. A spider is on its web in the upper left-hand
corner of the room ingesting its latest catch. In the recess of a bay
window, a crow in a cage regards him, unblinking. He looks her in the
eyes. Shakes his head.
 'None.'
 She exits again, this time heading down the hall to her bedroom. She
calls to him over her shoulder as she enters her sanctuary.
 'Give me some time to prepare, I'll call you when I'm ready.'
 He waits in silence, the past decade replaying for the benefit of
his mind's eye; the failiures, the disappointment, the bitterness.
All as she had predicted the night he'd left her. He had nothing to
lose.
 She called. He went. The room was just as he remembered it. The
memory engraved in his mind which occupied all his idle moments. 
Which caught him unawares and rose, screaming for attention, from the
pit where he'd repeatedly buried it. The bed, enormous. The knives,
shining in the candle-light. The, the... tentacles, reaching for him.



Cesar.
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:33010 rec.arts.comics.misc:3498
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Wheaties")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.arts.comics.misc
Subject: Re: I Hate It When This Happens
Date: 6 Oct 92 21:19:47 GMT
Followup-To: rec.arts.comics.misc
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: aaron@loki's message of 3 Oct 92 03:08:07 GMT

In article <1992Oct3.030807.20860@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca> aaron@loki (Aaron Humphrey) writes:
>   Yesterday I pick up the latest issue of "Love And Rockets" and find out that
>   Los Bros Hernandez are going to be in Calgary next Thursday.  

    They were at Fat Jack's, my comic store, on 15 September.  I saw the
sign, and thought about going to see them, and then I decided that the
last thing I needed in my life was to sit around with a bunh of drooling
fanboys discussing when Maggies was going to lose weight.  Since the
Bros. were going to show up at 4 PM and I rarely go to the comic sotre
on Tuesday anyway, I decided that as long as I didn't make a special
effort to show up, I would be safe, and that no extra precautions were
necessary, and so I dismissed it from my mind and forgot all about it.

    However, that day I had venireduty, and so I was not at work; I was
at City Hall, in Center City.  They dismissed me about 3:15, and I took
a leisurely walk back to the office.  I stopped at several bookstores
and I also stopped at Fat Jacks.  At 4:00 I was just leaving and I saw
the sign on the door on the way out and Gilberto coming up the walk.

    I shrugged and walked off in the direction of the Walnut Street
bridge.  ``That was a close call,'' I said, as I shut the door behind
me.  ``I will have to be more careful in the future.''

--

                And for to se, and eek for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: patten@lumchan.ifa.hawaii.edu (Brian Michael Patten)
Subject: Re: Nothing else seems to work so here goes!!
Organization: Institute for Astronomy, Univ. of Hawaii
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 06:02:22 GMT

In article <96914@bu.edu>, schin@acs.bu.edu (neil schier) writes:
|> Hello
|> 
|> 
|> I have been trying with absolutely zero success to find the recent whereabouts
|> of Vanessa Southern (Stanford '90) and Sarah Roff (Yale '90) I have tried
|> the alumni association on both campuses, alt.misc.personal and the other 
|> relevant bboards. 
|> 
|> Does anyone know these two people? If so, please let me know directly.
|> (617)352-7612  or e-mail
|> Regards
|> NEil Schier
|> 


  What?  You haven't heard what happened to these two?  It was so brutal
that the CBS News decided not to run the story.  The other networks decided
not to use the pictures they got from the police.  I saw the pictures in
one of the local papers.  I couldn't sleep for a week. 

  Geez, I'm getting sick just thinking about it.

  Brian
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: ballade
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 20:42:32 GMT


screaming flutes, bassons played with some abysmal technique it sounds like
a big truck with no muffler, a harp thats out of tune...well, despite the
fact that her voice sounded like all of these things at once, i was still
strangely drawn to her. Perhaps i remembered her from that time in another
lifetime when she was a grubworm and i was a bird and i ate her.
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Brown Stuff
Date: 6 Oct 92 10:48:26 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


Having been advised by a woman who is paid to Know These Things that
since I was taking it fifteen times a day or more I might be addicted
to it, I have for the next couple of weeks given up coffee. 

Talk.bizarre readers will, doubtless, want to hear that I had great
difficulty giving it up, that I weaken in the evenings and at nights and
brew a pot without putting the kitchen light on so nobody will notice,
that my hands shake, I stammer, I can't sleep and when I do I have
nightmares, I hear voices in my head chanting `Maxwell House, Maxwell
House', I see dancing elephants and snakes, I cannot concentrate and I
am laid up, sick, merely the sorry wreckage of what was once a computer
scientist. 

I'm sure that Gypsy, in particular, would find such a description
hysterically funny and deeply gratifying and crow like a supercharged
cockerel while posting a flurry of tasteless junkie `humour'; Alas, it
did not happen that way.  I just stopped drinking coffee and started
drinking fizzy water instead.  No ill effects, no cravings, no
hallucinations, no shaking hands.  I wasn't addicted to the brown stuff
in the first place.  It doesn't even save money: a glass of fizzy water
and a cup of coffee cost about the same. 

-- Ken "It's easy to get your own back on the smarmy woman with
   ear-rings and the art dealer who flies by Concorde" Johnson

-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
From: annie@canetoad.UUCP (Annie)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Architect
Distribution: world
Date: 6 Oct 92 18:08:04 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

He is back and he is more beautiful than ever. Beauty is only
as deep as the lie he tells when the lights are on.

He turns off the light and speaks the truth: When he was in Tokyo,
he thought that it was New York with the signs painted over in
sweeping cross stitch. Everyone hurried just as much.

He noticed one building. And then another. Buildings as long and 
tall as our own twin towers. What difference did he see? The twin 
towers gripped the earth and strained toward the sky. Posture
stiff, as though they were about to get their knuckles rapped
for slouching.

The buildings in Tokyo--no matter how large--danced and floated,
and the people hurried because they knew that these structures
had only touched down for a visit.

--
...uunet!canetoad!annie                          canetoad!annie@uunet.uu.net

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Subject: Re: Hauslabjoch Man
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 08:19:30 GMT

gstecker@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (George Stecker) writes:
: 
: 	I am trying to track down a spurious rumor which an associate of mine 
: caught on a FIDONET echo somwhere regarding the Hauslabjoch Man, an ancient
: northern-european type whose body was found frozen and well-preserved 
: somewhere in or near Germany, I think.  The story was apparently carried in
: major newspapers worldwide.  The FIDONET rumor said that there was semen 
: found in the body's anal canal.  We have been unable to verify whether this
: is true or not.  Has anyone heard anything else regarding this subject?

This was covered on alt.folklore.urban. The story was a hoax.

Bill
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: train ride
From: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)
Organization: The Man With Ten Cats
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 03:16:49 GMT
Reply-To: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)

In article <schnitzi.718289224@eola.cs.ucf.edu> schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius) writes:
>reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>
>>In article <1992Oct2.194040.2412@fcom.cc.utah.edu>, PJF4081@CC.UTAH.EDU (big daddy hate box) writes:
>>> well soon i will embark on what seems to be a fun adventure. a couple of 
>>> friends and i are going to jump on a freight train to wyoming. one of the 
>>> guys going used to work in a train yard and spent a year riding them around
>>> the country so i think we will be ok. i'm pretty excited about the whole
>>> thing. hope you all have equally exciting weekends. anyone else done this?
>
>>We're all glad for you. We're all glad for ourselves too because, presumably,
>>you won't be able to post to talk.bizarre whilst being sodomized by five
>>railway engineers.
>
>>Jason
>
>He mentions trains, and immediately you think "sodomy".  Been having those
>dreams again lately, have we?


I just hope that they keep an eye on him when he's on the Underground.

-- 

Rick Kelly	rmk@rmkhome.UUCP	unixland!rmkhome!rmk	rmk@frog.UUCP
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Subject: Short, shameful confession
Organization: finchhaus
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 07:37:10 GMT


I have decided that it is very important that i have
a copy of the Baltimore Catechism.  I don't know why.
None of the used bookstores around here have one.


AjD
and i'm not able to
fetch my old copy from
my parents' house.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: network jargon finally understood
From: dhoward@desire.wright.edu (sparky-desire)
Date: 27 Sep 92 22:42:51 EST
Organization: Wright State University 

poking around the net, via one particularly noisy modem, from a
place called panhandle, texas, which is in fact right smack in
the middle of the texas panhandle, just east of amarillo, and for
the life of me i can't understand why they call this place a god
damned panhandle because it doesn't look anything like one, but
on to other things for the sake of being brief, for the longest
time, (you know, you get into net.jargon, and if you keep your
trap shut, then nobody will think you're a dipshit), but for the
longest time, i thought that the abbreviation SO meant senior
officer, and that these people who used that kind of lingo were
actually in the military.

but now, i understand finally, and feel about as dumb as i did
when i didn't understand the meaning of all that weird stuff
people do with the punctuation and brackets and such.

-- 
.sparky.
		(;;.%%]]]SO[*.;,,}

	(i think i got it all down now)
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: DEMOCRATS ARE BETTER FOR THE ECONOMY
Date: 4 Oct 1992 06:12:48 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc4.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, jvogel@math.rutgers.edu (jeff vogel) says:

>>Why didn't the voters keep electing Democrats?
>
>That's a very good question. In each case, there's a fair answer.
>[...]
>
>Why weren't more democrats elected? In each case, there's a fair answer.
>[...]
>
>So you see: the Democratic Party has a long history of candidates who were
>strong, shrewd players of economic hardball, hampered by congenital
>insanity. 

Well, then, can we ignore the polls and safely conclude that
WAR is the #1 issue, NOT the economy, because the voters keep
returning to Republican presidents, who fuck up the economy,
but are good at bombing the shit outta foreign troublemakers?
-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: billbill@wetware.com (Bill Bill)
Subject: separate  powers
Followup-To: misc.test
Organization: Castle Wetware
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 06:21:26 GMT

In  between  each  of  these  pairs  of  words,  I
picked  up  something  off  the  floor.

Is the floor half-clean or the article half-dirty?

bill                    bill         @          wetware.                    com
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: I need Dod Sod's US Mail Address.
Date: 27 Sep 92 03:30:44 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
NNTP-Posting-Host: eno.wpd.sgi.com

---
aslakson@pico.cs.umn.edu (Brian Excarnate) writes:
|gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte) writes:
|>congratulations on your eggs.  i'm about to 
|>become a mother.  what would you name a female
|>kitten whose parents were named Spooge and
|>Big Head?

|Hieronymus Bosch.

I am planning on naming the next pair of pets
I have "Sed" and "Awk".  After the lovely tarsiers
on my lovely shirt.

We have an opossum now.  Well, "have" in the sense of 
"it eats Science Diet from our cats' dishes and doesn't
run away when we go into the kitchen".  I want to name
it "Grep" but Lance refuses.  He says "Opie" is better,
but I refuse to name a pet after a Ron Howard character.

Name our opossum.

---
c j silverio
From: carasso@inference.com (C A R A S S O)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: freeze-dried gulliblity in plethora sauce
Date: 5 Oct 92 21:02:41 GMT

gooley@netcom.com (Markian Gooley) writes:
)
)I nipped into a handy brick wall and came out disguised as Aneurin
)Bevan, forgetting that he had been dead for some years.  

I've always had a special place in my heart for the Japanese people.