From: jessica@wrs.com (Jessica Hart)
Subject: Miscellaneous Inspiration
Organization: Wind River Systems, Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 00:30:44 GMT


I guess this group is for us all to encourage each other in
our new healthstyles. (Well, I hate the word "diet," it conjures
up pictures of such hollow-eyed deprivation and sadness. Anyone
else have suggestions for a word for "eating better"?)

So here is what encouragement I can offer. I hope it helps. 

One day I just decided not to be a fat person. Not to have
chocolate, ice cream, cakes, and Doritos as major figures in
my emotional life. I was flooded with a feeling of power. I felt
the weight of the future, all those years that haven't
happened yet, as the weight of a weapon in my hands.

Another word I hate is "willpower." It implies a constant effort
to resist an almost overpowering temptation. I've tried to remove
the feeling of temptation itself. This is getting pretty metaphysical.
There may be a term in psychology for this type of behavior
modification. I just stopped thinking that Doritos are the next
best thing to sex... well, actually, better than sex, because a bag
of Doritos lasts longer. I just took a deep breath and relaxed. "So what
about food?" I thought. Food is no big deal, I decided. If I want a
doughnut, I'll just have one. I'll just become a person who only wants
a doughnut about once every two months. 

I don't mean to say it was Just That Easy. Or to be flip or belittle
the effort that I know is involved. It did take years and years for
this change to happen, but when it did, it seemed to happen all at
once. Maybe some of the others here have felt something like it. It's
nice to have a pint of Haagen-Dasz in the freezer and just leave it
there for weeks. It doesn't interest me, normally. Now, occasionally
it does interest me so I eat some. Not the whole thing, because I
start to feel sick way before that now. I think this may be how
"not fat" people eat. (I wouldn't know, having always eaten like
a fat person.)

What is my point? I guess I'm only trying to say that the new way
of eating itself can be a reward and a joy, all by itself. Whether
you are changing the shape of your body or not. I haven't lost
any additional weight for months (I haven't been very strict over
the summer, but now I'm getting back on the "losing weight" goal)
but I just feel better, happier, and more like a human being than
I ever have. Exercise is also a vital part of this. It's more fun
than anything else I do, just about. Yes, I've finally solved
the riddle of the relationship between Doritos and sex. The less
I have of the former, the more of the latter. Vice versa also seems
true.

I'm trying to share how you
can get inspired just by the act of changing something in your life.
This can help overcome the frustrating focus on goals met and pounds
per week lost. I just try to experience, and truly feel, how wonderful
it is to go to bed feeling just right instead of painfully stuffed.
To feel happy and comfortable after an hour of Sweatin' to the Oldies. 
(Now I usually pop in another tape and keep sweatin'!)

And maybe I don't look much different, but I FEEL like a thin person!
A competent adult! Yes -- a sexpot!

Now here's a new question that just occurred to me: Maybe not all
overweight people are as obsessed about food as I used to be. Maybe
what I'm really talking about here is something unrelated to
"losing weight" as such. It's really a mental thing. Is this making
any sense? Anyone out there overweight but not particularly
emotional about food? I mean, can you have
JUST the physical side of it but NOT the mental side?

Organization: Student Employment Office, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA