From: eclipse@netcom.com (Brian McCullough)
Subject: Re: California is NOT representative of the US as a whole
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 22:43:53 GMT

st1ns@elroy.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.) writes:
: In article <i3558.725901920@newsie>, i3558@newsie.dc.dk (Soren Michael Roug) writes...
: >I seems to me that this discussion is mostly, if not completely carried
: >out by americans. My advice to you is that if you want to improve your
: >english language then learn the King's english, not those barbarian dialects
: >the yanks choose to utter. It is my understanding that the yanks find a
: >properly spoken UK accent "cute". Well, I won't call myself an expert, but
: >I have been to USA several times, and some of those wordings one get to
: >hear notably in California make my toes curl. And behold; In some restaurants
: >they don't give people utensils to eat with.
: >-- 
: 
: Only a Californian would call California a part of the civilised world.  The 
: rest of us know that not everything "edible" is palatable, and that inventing 
: a new (and illogical) usage for an existing word or phrase (or an equally 
: illogical construction for an existing usage) is neither a profitable activity
: nor one which is likely to increase the degree to which one is making himself
: understood.  I dread the prospect of having to visit California.  For all 
: their slurred and slang-infested modes of speech, I prefer talking to someone
: from southern Louisiana than a vacuocephalic Californian.  (I sometimes wonder,
: though, if that designation is not redundant?)
: 
: The worst part of the situation is that the disease (Californitis?) seems to
: be spreading.  It has even shown up in such isolated places as Cut & Shoot, 
: Texas (a real place, just north of Houston), much to the dismay of many.  If
: it continues, I may have to establish a new detoxification program to deal
: with the afflicted, something along the lines of a Californiacs Anonymous,
: with classes in Getting On With It, Differentiating Between Gratuitous
: Criticism and Actual Insult, and Eating Without Analysis.  I welcome any
: suggestions for additional items to add to the curriculum, and there is 
: some urgency involved since there is a small danger that I may have to move
: to California this year.  Fortunately, I've already been immunized.  And
: even more important, I have discovered that there are still enclaves of the
: unafflicted even in the L.A. basin, although they often adopt the outward
: appearance of the multitudes as protective coloration.  
: 
: Sadly, I doubt that I will be able to pass as a Californian myself at any
: time in the near future.  I refuse to wear clothes that do not fit properly,
: I don't wear footwear that is designed to be used without socks, I loathe
: beaches, I keep my skin untanned and my hair unbleached, and my voice is 
: at least two octaves too low.  
: 
: I guess I'll just have to get my groceries in Nevada.
: 
: 

Complaints about uncivilized behavior -- from a TEXAN???


..Brian McCullough (a Coloradan exiled to California for criminal lack of
prejudice)

ObJoke:

How many Colorado Springs residents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it better be a man.  If a woman is caught doing the screwing,
her civil rights will be revoked.

-- 
---------------------------------
Brian C. McCullough   eclipse@netcom.netcom.com  Opinions of self only

"The early worm goes forth with zeal to give the hungry birds a meal.
His brother has no such intention, and lives to draw his old-age pension."
         -Montagu C. Butler
Newsgroups: rec.humor