From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Pickup Lines (and likely responses)
Organization: AT&T
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 20:04:17 GMT
Keywords: go get bent..

In article <C0Huvs.6xr@news.cso.uiuc.edu> dmd39855@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Daniel DuBois) writes:
>
>Top 25 Pickup Lines 

 ... and responses one might expect:
>
>1)  Hi.

Not any more, it wore off after the buffet.  Bye!

>2)  If I could change the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

But then they'd have to rearrange the encyclopedia and what would that
geeky kid in the Brittanica commercials do?

>3)  I have a lot of money.

Then you should have far better clothes.

>4)  Help.

You're beyond help.

>5)  Hi!  I'm Irish.  Do you have any Irish in you?  Would you like some?

If I do I'll sit on a bottle of Bailey's.

>6)  Can I buy you a drink or would you just like the money?

I'd like you to have sex with one of my creditors.

>7)  I look like Tom Cruise.
>8)  I know Tom Cruise.
>9)  I am Tom Cruise.

I think you're late for your cruise ...

>10) So is that your boyfriend?  Well how long have you had this problem?

How long have you been here?

>11) Gee, I've been so tired since I won the state lottery.

I bet - learning to speak without spitting can wear one out, but
keep at it.

>12) The doctor says it will go away in a week.

Will it take you with it, I hope?

>13) If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

If I told everyone in this place that YOU had a nice body, could you
stand the laughter?

>14) Baby, as long as I have got a face, you have a place to sit.

I *thought* you looked kinda like varnished wood ...

>15) Gee, that dress would would look great on the floor next to my bed!

I'm sure.  When it's not on me, it works part-time as a throw rug.

>16) Hey bitch get your hat and coat, were leaving.

It's 106 F outside, asshole.

>17) Hey baby, I gots me a giant cheese wheel back at the apartment I
>        wouldn't mind sharing with a lovely woman like you.

Oh, I think I saw your hamster scurry over THAT way ...

>18) I'm tired of passion... All I want is someone to play pictionary with.

I know an unemployed Brittanica kid you might want to meet!

>19) Hi!  You breathe air like I do?  What a coincidence!  We are destined
>        for each other!

No, I don't breathe air like you do.  I keep my mouth closed and I
don't drool.

>20) Are you male or female? 

Well I have a penis, but I keep it in my boyfriend's crotch.

>21) I only have 2 hours to live..

Then I guess an acid trip is out?

>22) Hey.

Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't know where else to spit that chive I finally
sucked out of my molars.

>23) Gee... You sure don't weigh much for a fat bitch!

I'm not fat.  I'm pregnant with your father's litter.

>24) So, do you have single or multiple orgasms?

It depends on what speed I have it on.

>25) Hi, I am a really deep and emotional, caring, sensitive guy.  Wanna fuck?

Fuck?  No.
-- 
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Nance Colucci                                      att!ihlpl!colucci
"It'll be better than before.  Yesterday's gone.  Yesterday's gone!"
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