HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: Daniel.P.Johnson@mailbox.bison.mb.ca (Daniel P Johnson)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Comedy Survey
Date: 25 Sep 92 00:36:53 CST

Organization: Fallen Prey to Entropy

In article <1992Sep23.135828.21524@ncsu.edu> kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT) writes:
.In article <1992Sep23.061716.5196@news.acns.nwu.edu>, petersen@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Julie Petersen) writes:
.|> Xref: taco alt.comedy.british:1738 rec.humor:90984 rec.humor.d:7012 alt.tv.ren-n-stimpy:3039 alt.tv.seinfeld:872 alt.fan.monty-python:13936 alt.fan.howard-stern:2354 alt.tv.simpsons:12430
.|> Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british,rec.humor,rec.humor.d,alt.tv.ren-n-stimpy,alt.tv.seinfeld,alt.fan.dice-man,alt.fan.monty-python,alt.fan.letterman,alt.fan.howard-stern,alt.tv.simpsons
.|> Path: taco!rock!stanford.edu!ames!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!usc!wupost!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!news.acns.nwu.edu!casbah.acns.nwu.edu!petersen
.|> From: petersen@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Julie Petersen)
.|> Subject: Comedy Survey
.|> Message-ID: <1992Sep23.061716.5196@news.acns.nwu.edu>
.|> Keywords: comedy, humor
.|> Sender: usenet@news.acns.nwu.edu (Usenet on news.acns)
.|> Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.
.|> Distribution: usa
.|> Date: Wed, 23 Sep 92 02:17:16 GMT+5:00
.|> Lines: 24
.|> 
.|> I'm a graduate journalism student at the Medill School of Journalism at
.|> Northwestern University in Chicago. For our "thesis" we create a prototype
.|> magazine and develop a 5-year business plan for a magazine launch. One of our
.|> proposed ideas is a magazine covering the world of comedy including stand-up,
.|> movies, tv shows, animated shows (like Ren-n-Stimpy), books, political humor,
.|> et. al. Comedy has long been the stepchild of the entertainment industry and
.|> we want to give it a home. Think of it a one-stop fix for all your comedy needs.
.|> 
.|> We are considering an editorial mix of both industry "insider" information and
.|> humor in the form of columns by known commedians and profiles on "behind the
.|> scenes" people such as the writers for "Murphy Brown." What we would like from
.|> you are your comments: Would you, or a comedy junkie you know, subscribe to
.|> such a magazine? What would you like to see covered by such a magazine? What
.|> would turn you off? What other comedy/humor needs do you have? 
.|> 
.|> I am collecting comments until Thursday Morning. It would be extremely helpful
.|> if you could include your name and a brief description of you (e.g. job title
.|> and AGE would be nice) with your comments.
.|> 
.|> Thank you-
.|> Julie Petersen
.|> jp@darkstar.com
.|> or
.|> petersen@casbah.acns.nwu.edu
.|> 
.I'd like to big cans of spam and men dressed as women.

I'd like a tall person named Harold, 12 Jewish sailing enthusiasts, a
roach motel, and the Prime Minister of Pakistan.  To go.

Dan aka Oh, and make sure you give me a straw.

 * Origin: The Electronic Mailbox (1:348/7.0)
From: valeu@hpsdde.sdd.hp.com (John Valeu)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: The Rutles
Date: 30 Sep 1992 11:07:50 -0700
Organization: Hewlett Packard, San Diego Division
NNTP-Posting-Host: hpsdde.sdd.hp.com

Rhino Records has released 'The Rutles' on CD with about
4-5 previously unreleased tracks....


Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: parrot sketch
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 06:57:04 GMT

>
>	In article <1992Sep28.121517.25166@aber.ac.uk> 
>	dlc@csthor.NoSubdomain.NoDomain (David Louis Cheseldine) did say :
>
>->
>
>Well that was a lot..............
>
>Pag aka this is an ex-parrot
Ratboy aka this is a slug
From: jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: FAQ list
Date: 29 Sep 92 16:45:34 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

>>>>>>>>>Question 1		Is Vic there ?
>>>>>>>>Question 2		Is your refrigerator running?
>>>>>>>Question 54 oops 3      How does Anne Elk's (not an elk) Brontasaurus theory
>>>>>>>                        affect SPAM farming in the Congo?  
>>>>   Question 3b		Whose theory is it?
>>>>>>Question 4		There is NO QUESTION 4!!!
>>>>>>Question 6		What are the odds that I am an infinite number of
>>>>>>			monkeys typing for an infinite number of hours?
>>>>>>Question 7		How?
>>>>>>Question 8		Why didn't you include 'Question 5'?
>>>>>>Question 9		Lemon Curry?
>>>>>>Question 10		Why did you say 'Good Morning'?
>>>>>>Question 11		What are you doing with that nectari...URRGH! <thump>
>>>>> Question 12            Would you like a 16 ton weight dropped on top of
>>>>>			_you_,Eric?
>>>>> Question 13		Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
>>>>> Question 14		Do you want to come back to my place?
>>>>                                                              Bouncy, bouncy?
>>>>> Question 15		Do you want to come upstairs...or have you come
>>>>>			to arrange a holiday?
>>>>  Question 16		What's that penguin doing on the telly?
>>>>  Question 17a		What is your name?
>>>>  Question 17b		What is your quest?
>>>>  Question 17ci		What is your favorite color?
>>>>  Question 17cii	What is the air-speed velocity of a sparrow?
>>>>  Question 18		Could somebody post the script for ****** ?
>>>>  Question 19		Is your name not Bruce, then?
>>>>  Question 20		Are you insinuating something?
>>>   Question 21		Can we borrow your head for a piece of animation?
>>>   Question 22		Did those feet in ancient times walk upon England's
>>>			mountains green?
>>>   Question 23		Did somebody here say "mattress"?
>>>   Question 24		What do we mean when we talk about things?
>>>   Question 24a		What do I mean by the word "mean"?
>>>   Question 24b		What do I mean by the word "word"?
>>>   Question 24c		What do I mean by "what do I mean"?
>>>   Question 24d         What do I mean by wasting your time like this?
>>    Question 25         What does "aka" stand for?
>>    Question 26         Que?
>>    Question 27         Is the Third Test in here?
>>    Question 28         Dinsdale?
>>    Question 29         What's all this then?
>>    Question 30         You mean poo-poos?
>>    Question 31         Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now?
>>    Question 32         What do penguins eat?
>>    Question 32a            Henri Bergson?
>>    Question 33         Is your wife a....a goer?
      Question 34	A tiger?  In *Africa*??
>     Question 35         What? What's that a chicken up there?
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: St. Jester's Day
Keywords: Jester is my hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 30 Sep 92 13:54:23 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center

jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (JW) coughs up phlegm:
}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jestie) goes on and on about tea and how they don't make it properly here, do they:
}>jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (Jamie) enjoys being cut up into little pieces:
}>}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) vents his righteous fury:
}>}>jwlr@gauguin.cc.rochester.edu (Dead Meat!!!!) insults me one last time:
}>}>}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (St. Jester) flies off the handle all too easily:
}>}>}>}>>p.s.  I have never kissed the editor of alt.fan.monty-python
}>}>}>}>Silly person.  There *is* no editor of alt.fan.monty.python!  Unless you
}>}>}>}>count Jester, of course...
}>}>}>}I object!  Jester is certainly not the editor!  There *is* no editor,
}>}>}>}oh misguided one.  Jester is our patron saint.
}>}>}>well. then..i proclaim today September 23, St. Jester's day.
}>}>}>you now must all go out and give gag gifts to strange people
}>}>}>on the street......
}>}>}How about if I just gag people and strangle gifts?
}>}>that would look bad towards the general populace and
}>}>give me a bad name..so don't!!!
}>}Oh? I thought you already *had* a bad name...
}>well bring that little fact into account....
}>look....i have had it iwht you..time to 
}>call in the heavy artillery.......MOM!!!!
}Quit calling me that! I hate being called that!

well then don't whip me so hard and force-feed my lima beans.

}>}>}>}.Chris squig All well and good. . .
}>}>}>}Dan squig Lets build him cathedral!  I'll post the plans if there is intrest!
}>}>}>St. Jester squig look...I'd like to approve these b4 you post them....
}>}>}Jamesa <=== Oh, so you *do* want to be the editor, then??
}>}>Editor Jester squig yes...now lets see, what i can fix in this post.
}>}Jamus allies Nothing! My posts ar alwus prefect!!
}>Editor Jester squig and where did you learn to spell????
}James fnork I bin too collej!
Editor Jester squig which one?? it desperately needs to be burned down.
-- 
I am the cloud that rains on your hit parade.
I am the no. 90 sunblock that will stop your burn.
I am the clipper that trims your hedges.
I am the jailor that throws away the key.
From: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: The struggle of class against class
Keywords: The Almighty Grod
Date: 27 Sep 92 16:49:34 GMT
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Originator: kchestn@c00475-224wi.eos.ncsu.edu


 Miles and miles of header

|> I object to the recent objection by an object which objects to the quoting
|> of the objections of objecting pesants who object to an objectable caste 
|> system in which the working classes are repressed by passing noblemen who's
|> power they object to.  I also object to the objection that we should present
|> the objector with all the backround material from which the quoted material was
|> taken.  Get off your lothesome, spotty behind and go down to your local
|> video store and Watch the bloody film again!  Next he's going to wan't us to
|> wipe his ass for him!
|> 	Actually, I object to all objections, particularly those made in this
|> newsgroup, and saying that, I must object to my last statement.  I also object
|> to all these people  having to repost entire threads just so they can add 
|> their own two lines of text and beat the topic over the head with a (pointed)
|> stick, but it just won't die until finally it takes three and a half hours 
|> just to read the fucking thing, and it's a pain in the ass when you're searching
|> through the newsgroup looking for the right thread on which to make your return
|> to the newsgroup.  Why, when I was a lad, we had to start are own threads.  
|> We made them out of...
|> 	STOP THAT, you're not going to start THAT one again!
|> 
|> 
|> >..>>--
|> >..>>@>-->----- (rose)
|> >..>>azeena@nic.gac.edu
|> >..>>azeena@gacvx1.gac.edu
|> > 
|> >--
|> >}@======== (hose)
|> >junglequeen@nicholas.GustavusAdolphusCollege.educationalinstitution
|> >SmurfCups@BurgerKing.near.you
|> 
|> Won't you touch my monkey
|> Howard M. Green a.k.a. Charles U. Farley
|> 
|> 	-"What God Wants, God Gets"-
|> 				-Roger Waters
|> 
Well, when I was a lad we didn't have to start threads all over again, we had
them forced upon us by overbering generals with riding crops and made to sing 
the threads that were old.  Even if they didn't rhyme.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: 00124961@ysub.ysu.edu
Subject: Re: Compliant
Organization: Youngstown State University
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 11:31:21 GMT

In article <1992Oct02.050219.1339@DIALix.oz.au>
meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma) writes:
 
>
>In <1992Sep30.201148.11853@galileo.cc.rochester.edu> jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) writes:
>
>>>>>>>>>>->I wish to register a complaint !
>>>>>>>>>>Ermmm.... Hello Miss......
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>I'm sorry, I have a cold...
>>>You think this is cold, Matey? Why, when I was young...
>>You were lucky!! In my day we didn't have Temperatures.
>>We had to go put our tongues against the lampposts to see
>>if they would stick!
>Tongues?  LAMPPOSTS???  You were lucky!  The only way we
>could tell if it was cold was to sit around and die of
>hypothermia!  If it was hot we'd borrow our neighbours
>blender, sit in it and catch the draft it produced.
>
>>>>>>>>>>->Kezzle.
>>>>>>>>>>Pag aka not a dead parrot called Lisa, Erik or anything else for that
>>>>>>>>>>        matter..
>>>>>>>>>Lisa aka I'm not a parrot..I'm a 'alibit
>>>>>>>>>Chris aka You're not fooling anyone, you know.
>>>>>>>Ratboy aka But I *am* a newt!
>>>>>>Lisa aka welcome back, oh Rat god that you be :)
>>>>>Ratboy aka Oh how I love me fans...:)  Missed you the most Lisa...
>>>>>   WORSHIP ME!!!! (sorry, Jes...no diety infringement intended...)
>>>>>Chris aka You're in for it now!  Back away, everyone.  Don't want to be hit
>>>>by the lightning, you know!
>>>Ratboy aka Ahhhh....lightning shmightning...I ain't afraid o' no stinking
>>>  lightning...
>>ZZZZAP! Instant Ratboy steaks (well-done)!
>Ooooohhh!  The cat's eaten it.
>
>>James octopud Lightning!
>Meetch akak Thunder!  Thor!  Vikings!  Spam spam spam sp*THUD*
Chris aka SMOG!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
From: Jeremy_Reimer@mindlink.bc.ca (Jeremy Reimer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Creosote Explodes (meaning of life?)
Date: 5 Oct 92 07:35:39 GMT
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Distribution: world

It was a MINT that was WAFER-thin.

So you both win.

And you both lose, as well.

Jeremy aka Not just another boring person doing cascades


--
Jeremy_Reimer@ |"Anti-ninjas were the most feared assassins in the world.
mindlink.bc.ca | Instead of appearing out of thin air, throwing metal stars
---------------| and messing around with bo staffs and numchuks they simply
aka THE JAGUAR!| shot people and then drove everyone mad with pointless
---------------| conspiracy theories for years afterwards."
Stealth Sig#42 |  --From "N-Man #3"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: huntp@coch5.alleg.edu (Patrick Hunt)
Subject: The Gospel According to Brian
Reply-To: huntp@alleg.edu
Organization: Allegheny College
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 18:59:16 GMT


Hello all,

	I was talking to this guy that I worked with this summer and he  
told me that the original name for "Life of Brian" was "The Gospel  
According to Brian", and Brian was supposed to be an extra apostle who was  
always showing up late for fishing, meetings and the such. Is this true?  
If so, it would have been hilarious. If any of you out there know the  
whole story of this almost title, drop me a line and tell it to me, I  
would love to hear it. 

C-YA
Pat
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: 00124961@ysub.ysu.edu
Subject: Re: Aka
Organization: Youngstown State University
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 23:16:47 GMT

In article <3502@dozo.and.nl>
jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
 
>
>In article <1992Sep24.090817.21525@aber.ac.uk> aep@aber.ac.uk (Andrew Pagett) writes:
>|
>|       In article <3486@dozo.and.nl>
>|       jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) did say :
>|
>|<stuff dipped in lemon curry and then added to my strawberry `rat' tart>
>|->|>|>What is Aka.......
>|->>>|
>|->|>|i would like to know too.
>|->|>
>|->|>Archaic Kitchen Appliances ...
>|->|>
>|->|>                                                O/  O/
>|->|>                                               <|  <|/
>|->|>Jos aka Look: I used to be two ballet dancers: /'\ /`<-------
>|->|Chris aka What's this then?-----------------------------------|
>|->
>|->That's me aunt Muriel, imitating my pet hippopotamus, while singing
>|->the Eskimo national anthem all backwards. Didn't you recognize her?
>|Aha... but what about the farting it sideways bit..
>
>Oops! Sorry, how silly of mine ... Yes indeed, she used to fart sideways
>too, ya know. But that was before I gave her a frontal lobotomy with
>my axe. She really appreciated it; she's such a cute old lady she is.
>But now she smells a bit funny ...
>
>|->
>|->Jos aka I used to be a turbot. But not anymore, it didn't pay well ...
>|Pag aka a halibut called Erik.
>
>Jos aka but I _do_ have a spare leg.
Chris aka Believe it!  I saw it stashed in his trunk before he closed the
lid on me to take me to throw me into the Thames.
From: xrt-22@King_Arthur.Camelot.Uk (Editor of Alt.Fan.Monty_Python)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: St. Jester
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 20:10:05 GMT
Organization: Camelot
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.22.68.65

In article <1992Oct1.193256.12234@tamsun.tamu.edu> mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver) writes:

>>>>>>>>>}>}>}>>p.s.  I have never kissed the editor of alt.fan.monty-python
>>>>>>>>>}>}>}>Silly person. There *is* no editor of alt.fan.monty.python!  Unless
>>>>>>>>>}>}>}>count Jester, of course...
>>>>>>>>>}>}>}I object! Jester is certainly not the editor!  There *is* no editor,
>>>>>>>>>}>}>}oh misguided one.  Jester is our patron saint.
>>>>>>>>>}>}>well. then..i proclaim today September 23, St. Jester's day.

Silly nates, I am the Editor of Alt.Fan.Monty-Python! 

What? I am so, just looke at me name!

How dare you ingrats smatter my imaage by saying I ain't so.
Imageen, if I went around denying *your* existiance, yooooo wouldn't like
it very mucz, now would you?
From: un027054@wvnvms.wvnet.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Words to "69" song, misc. ramblings.
Date: 3 Oct 92 15:41:24 GMT
Organization: West Virginia Network for Educational Telecomputing

First of all, right off the bat, isn't Python the tits??  Second, I have a
question, also regarding song lyrics.  What is the last line of "Sit on my
Face", right after the line "Life can be fine if we both 69..."??  Try as I
might, I cannot seem to figure it out.  Last, but not least, what do "Raising
Arizona", "Die Hard I", and every Monty Python movie and show have in common??
They only start getting really good after you watch them at least 10-15
times!!!!   
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jcb7@po.CWRU.Edu (Jeremy C. Bargen)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Song Lyrics
Date: 7 Oct 1992 01:29:26 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: jcb7@po.CWRU.Edu (Jeremy C. Bargen)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc5.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet () says:

>In article <1as86kINNa8l@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, jcb7@po.CWRU.Edu (Jeremy C. Bargen) writes:
>> 
>> Does anyone have the complete lyrics for the Dennis Moore song? I only
>> remember the verse that goes, "Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, et cetera, et
>> cetera."
>> 
>> I also need:
>> 	Sheet music for the tune played in the background of the Cheese
>> 		Shop Sketch
>> 	A tin of Spam
>> 	The Maltese Falcon
>> 	Queen Elizabeth II in a light white wine sauce
>> 	A teaspoonful of neutronium
>> 	The naughty bits of a lady
>> 
>> that is, if it's not too much trouble.
>> 
>> Vermin ralph with a bag of things
>Well ralph, what's in the bag? 
>Do ladies have naughty bits? 
>Where? 
>when? how much? how long? at what price?
>

Well then, it looks like you need a course in "How to Recognize Parts of
the Body."  Come on over to my place and I'll instruct you personally...

Vermin wang Number seventeen...the larch
From: af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa M. Stanar)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: new topic
Date: 5 Oct 92 22:58:37 GMT
Reply-To: af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH


In a previous article, jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) says:

>Vote for your favorite a.f.m.per here.


geez, how can you eat..um......er...CHOOSE...just one?

>
>Vote for your top 3 fav's and I will tabulate
>the winner in one week......
>

geez, how can you choose just three.....hmmmm, should I pick Jester, or 
Ratboy, or Meetch, or the other lisa, or Tia.......*Lisa being boggled*


>Just something to still the boredom....
>
>Jester aka vote for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


NO NO NO...vote for Lisa...she has campaign EXPERIENCE...and she gives 
political favors *wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?*


>-- 
>I am the chill that runs down your spine.
>I am the surprise in your cereal box.
>I am the hair on the lens of your projector.
>I am the metal key on the sardine can of justice.
>
Lisa aka EVERYONE'S favorite
-- 
"Ten, ten, ten, ten for everything, everything, everything, everything."
                        kiss off by the violent femmes
From: lawrence@ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: LLAP-Goch
Date: 30 Sep 92 20:23:19 GMT
Reply-To: lawrence@olympus.ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

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The fantastic secrets of the SECRET, WORLD FAMOUS method of self-defence, kept
secret for centuries because of their deadly power to maim, kill, smash
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at his own risk, provided you promise to maim, crush, disembowel and so on
only in self defence. (*this is just to cover ourselves, you understand.)

No longer need you feel weak, helpless, indecisive, not fascinating and
ashamed of your general dimensions. No more need you be out-maneuvered in
political debate! Goodby HUMILIATION, wisecracking bullies, karate experts,
boxing champions, sarcastic vicars, traffic wardens, entire Panzer divisions,
will melt to pulp as you master every situation without inadequacy. PROTECT
YOUR LOVED ONES!

After seeiing your expert disabling techniques, women will leap into bed
with you! Although we can't guarantee this, it's extremely likely and 
worth learning LLAP-Goch for.

Only a FOUR-SECOND-A-DAY WORKOUT and you will really be able to harm people!
Develop 36" BICEPS! Grow up to 12" TALLER! Lose up to 40" OF FAT IN YOUR
FIRST WORKOUT! Prolong your life by UP TO 1,000 YEARS!

GO TO BED WITH UP TO ANY NUMBER OF GIRLS YOU CARE TO THINK OF! (*provided
you realize the phrase "up to" clearly includes the number zero.)

If you agree to never abuse the principles of LLAP-Goch (and never consult
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