From: jjprice@eos.ncsu.edu (JEFFREY JAMES PRICE)
Subject: Re: Adoption is an answer
Originator: jjprice@c00067-100lez.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: jjprice@eos.ncsu.edu (JEFFREY JAMES PRICE)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 16:29:34 GMT


ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Eric Huppertz) writes:

|>I'm glad to see that alt.adoption was finally created. I just hope
|>it doesn't turn into alt.dear-abby like some other groups |^).  
|>
Me too :-)

|>For the last few years I have watched the anti-abortion factions
                                               ^^^^^^^^
Don't you mean Pro-Life or should we refer to Pro-Choice people as 
anti-life. This is ridiculus...

|>with some interest, as the debate heated up and came down to a 
|>*very* close call in the Supreme Court. But most of the efforts
|>of the anti-abortion faction (e.g. human chains around clinics,
|>lobbying/demonstrating to get the laws changed, etc) are at best

Please... Not all of us do these things I am very much Pro-Life but I
will Not resort to violence to get my views accepted.

|>misguided.  What would they have if they won?  A hollow victory,
|>wherein the law would forbid abortion but it would continue to 
|>happen on a regular basis because none of the attitudes have
|>changed.
|>
Good Point we need to change society and not the laws.

|>I can't understand why all these people who stamp their feet and
|>scream about the horrors of abortion don't switch their tactics and
|>turn their efforts toward encouraging adoption as an alternative to
|>abortion.  Nobody would publicly discourage such a campaign, 
|>especially if it were handled as well as Nancy Reagan's "Just Say
|>No to Drugs" or MTV's "Rock the Vote."
|>
Sounds like a good idea.. Do you know where one can get in touch with 
others that would be interested in something like this.

|>And in today's society, this campaign is what we need most, above 
|>all the hatred and intolerance and violence.  Take a look at this
|>society's attitude toward girls with unwanted pregnancies:  Rather
|>than being taken in and consoled, they are treated like "sinners"
|>in much the same way AIDS victims are regarded.  (If you disagree,
|>cf. the current public opinion of Magic Johnson.)  So to the girl
|>who finds she is pregnant, NO MATTER WHAT the law says, her best
|>option is to abort the pregnancy before anyone finds out about it.
|>Ask my girlfriend, who went to a Catholic school, about the girls
|>who were kicked out for being pregnant when the girls who had had
|>secret abortions were of course still in school.  I don't know...

There is a very good reason. I went to a Catholic school to and they did
not tolerate actions that might cause one to get pregnant it was stated
in or handbook clear as day.Get Pregnant get kicked out. It may the
wrong course of action but it definetly cut down on risky behavior.

|>couldn't one interpret this as a Catholic school ENCOURAGING
|>abortion? (This is not flame-bait, but an aside; I'm leading up

Catholic schools teach that all life is meaninful and this would 
Not ENCOURAGE abortion. I'm not flaming you I just want to let my
views be known. You did bring up good points.

|>to a point.  I'm just saying that it's one possible interpretation
|>and I don't want to get into *that* debate.  :-) )
|>
Neither will I (truce after I finish this article OK) :-)

|>What I'm saying is, why doesn't a school like that just take the
|>girl aside, offer her some support, and say "look, we know mistakes
|>happen; you don't have to worry about aborting your baby or raising
|>a child if adoption is your choice"?  Wouldn't that attitude 
|>coming from a religious school encourage acceptance and level-
|>headedness?  
|>
That is definitely a good solution but the schools are trying to prevent
this type of behavior in the first place with strict rules. Now she should
still be kicked out but I do feel the school should still counsel her.

|>The one thing I absolutely cannot fathom is this society's intolerance
|>toward giving a child up for adoption, in a time when that would be
|>an answer to a good many problems.  One talk show I saw featured a 
|>young couple who were having some kind of problem.  The girl mentioned
|>that she had given her baby up for adoption because she didn't think
|>they had enough money to raise it.  At that point a woman in the 
|>audience jumped up and said angrily, "just because you don't have
|>enough money is no reason to give your child up for adoption."  And
|>the whole audience clapped and cheered.  I was so mad I wanted to 
|>punch that lady!  What, is an unwanted baby your "punishment"?  Are

Add a punch for me too will ya.

|>women to be *forced* to keep and raise their child, even though they
|>feel they are not properly suited for it, or have the resources to 
|>give the child the kind of life s/he deserves?  Nice attitude. What
|>a loving display of compassion.
|>
|>Yes, I have a personal interest in this matter.  Just over four years
|>ago, my girlfriend got pregnant.  We considered abortion but for 
|>several reasons we decided to go ahead with the childbirth and give
|>the baby up to a better home than we could ever provide.  You wouldn't
|>believe the grief we got for this decision!  Amazement followed by
|>anger was usually what we saw.  "How can you THINK about giving your
|>baby up?"  This is what one of my best friends said.  My girlfriend's
|>own mother began a tirade of emotional warfare, saying things like
|>"but the baby will have your EYES!" to try to force her into keeping
|>the child, even though we were both only 20 and still in college, with
|>no possible way to give any child a good home.

You made a very good choice and the best for all concerned.
|>
|>Sadly, my baby boy died after nine days in neonatal intensive care. We
|>were prepared to stick by our decision had he lived, and I still am
|>consoled by the fact that he would have gone to a home with loving and
|>caring parents.  Statistically, adopted children are among the smartest,
|>most well-adjusted members of society.  I have no doubt that our son
|>would have been given the greatest of care, and that adoption was the
|>most loving thing we could possibly have done.
|>
Unfortunately there are factors we never think about but at least your 
child knew it was loved. Giving a child up for adoption is not a sign
that you don't love him but probably one of the biggest acts of love.
You knew you could not provide for him and loved him so much you wanted
the best for him and decided on adoption. I congratulate you.

|>Is there anyone out there who has experienced the same attitude toward
|>adoption that I have?  And doesn't it seem that the anti-abortion
|>faction would probably serve their own interests best by campaigning
|>in favor of better support for pregnant girls  to choose adoption? 
|>
I totally agree with you and I feel that the majority of this group will

BTW- The Purpose of this group is not about abortion but adoption. Eric
does bring up an interesting point that should be dealt with and is
good discussion for this group but lets not get into the legality/morality
of abortion if you are interested go to talk.abortion.

|>-e.

PS. Could someone tell me if I have a .sig quote?

-Jeff Price  -not this siq the next one
-- 
-Jeffrey Price
_____________________________________________________________________
| "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were |
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Newsgroups: talk.abortion,alt.abortion.inequity,soc.men,alt.child-support,alt.da