From: mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.edu.au (Mylene Pijpers)
Subject: very LONG summary: back to "normal" after pregnancy
Keywords: spring clean
Organization: Elec Eng, Univ of Western Australia
Date:  2 Sep 92 08:56:11 GMT

Hi,
I am just cleaning up my directory and find this collection of 
(mostly) postings regarding the subject "back to normal after
pregnancy".
There were a few requests for a summary, so here it is...

Comments:
I noticed a tendency in the whole collection, from defining "normal"
to "weight" and "fitness-programs"

No more comments (I rush off to do the rest of my spring clean :-)
Here they are:


Mylene

--**********************************************************----


----------------
Yes! I know the feeling, and I didn't get it until after I stopped breastfeeding
- Katie was five months old. (I had a c-section too!)
                lynn
------------------
In article <mylene.711776752@swanee> mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.oz.au (Mylene Pijpers) writes:
>Some months ago I just walked in the sun and I thought: YEP! I feel
>physically normal again, like I felt before Josanne was born. (Say
>8 months, she is 11 mo. now)

Its been 6 months for me, and I finally feel perfectly normal when walking
and lifting things, though my c-section scar is still pink and has a 
slight burning sensation. 

Please post the responses ....I remember trying to find information about
how long it takes to get back in shape after the birth and not finding any.

For me, (and I think a lot of other women) a lot of feeling physically 
and psychologically normal again has to do with losing that weight. There's
something demoralizing about having a closet full of clothes that you can't 
fit, not to mention having people ask you if you're pregnant AFTER you've had
the baby.

All of the weight hasn't gone yet, though ...still 8-9 lbs more to go, 
which is not bad, since I gained 50.  This is my first baby.  Next time I'll 
try not to get so fat.

I actually haven't done any exercise (i hate exercise) just 4-5 months of 
breast-feeding and eating only when hungry. Besides, when you're not 
getting much sleep, who can exercise?   I lost 23 lbs the first two
weeks after Lea's birth (she weighed 10 lbs), then about a lb a week for
16 weeks (for 14 lbs) after that.  Then it got real slow ...now losing
about a pound every 2-3 weeks...though my sister swears that you never lose
those last 10 lbs.

>- What factors do you think are involved: during pregnancy, maternity 
>  leave, psychological factors, having more children, work before/after
>  birth, the newborn itself, the amount of work you have to do in
>  the house, and how do you think they affected your "extended recovery".

I had 5 months of maternity leave but don't think that mattered.  IMHO 
how well your body bounces back depends on your age (i'm 39), your general 
health, whether you've had a c-section, and how much exercise you do. Feeling 
psychologically normal again?  Never felt really abnormal - though now I 
definitely feel more fulfilled.

diana
--------------------

In misc.kids, choi@wk59.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi) writes:
>In article <mylene.711776752@swanee> mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.oz.au (Mylene Pijpers
>) writes:
>>Some months ago I just walked in the sun and I thought: YEP! I feel
>>physically normal again, like I felt before Josanne was born. (Say
>>8 months, she is 11 mo. now)
>
>Its been 6 months for me, and I finally feel perfectly normal when walking
>and lifting things, though my c-section scar is still pink and has a
>slight burning sensation.

I just wanted to post a counterexample, so people wouldn't think that
a c-section necessarily means 6 months of not feeling normal.

Carrie was born almost 5 weeks ago, via c-section following relatively
long labor.  I felt physically back to normal, including swinging my
32 pound two year old over my head, by the time four weeks had passed.
I get a little tired in the afternoon, but I think anyone whose sleep
is broken at 3 am would feel the same.  And now for a little bragging
- I'm down to 4 pounds BELOW my prepregnancy weight, after five weeks!
Breastfeeding is a great way to diet!

(Lest anyone think I am some physical fitness maniac, I really could
stand to lose another 25 pounds, and hate to exercise unless it is doing
something fun.)  This is just meant to show that a c-sectin doesn't
have to put you out of commission for months.

Diane Segelhorst
dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil
Mom to Brad, almost 2, and Carrie, 5 weeks

----------------

I'm not sure I understood the original post, but I still don't feel *normal*
At least, not what I used to feel as 'normal'.  But I've come to realize
that normal-prepregnancy and normal-postpregnancy are two entirely different
states.  Neither is *better* than the other, just different.
 
The one aspect of my life that I've had the hardest time adjusting to is our
sex life.  Mostly because I've had a hard time getting enthused, but not for
a lack of trying on my husband's part.
 
I've been incredibly lucky, before-during-after pregnancy, I gained 55lbs
but not only did I lose them in five mo, without trying, I have lost an add-
itional 18lbs, again without trying.  I was 30-35 lbs overweight prior.
 
I don't believe in diets, I believe in changing my lifestyle if I'm not happy
with something.  Diets don't usually work.
 
I've had a hard time feeling...sexy...though my friends and hubby insist
that I am.  Everyone says it's the extra weight after preg.---what's my
excuse?  I'm thinner now than I've been in years, I love it, but that
feeling of sexiness is still elusive.
 
Time away from my son doesn't change matters, sexy clothes/lingerie doesn't
matter.  I've even been trying that positive thinking idea--that's been the
most successful.
 
Oh well, I don't know what else to add--I'll post again if I think of any
 
Ellie
Living, Laughing, & Learning everyday.

------------------


Mylene,

	During the burth of my son, I felt a ripping sensation when I
tried to push.  I told the DR. to cut me (episiotomy), but that gave no relief.

	Quite awhile after he was born, when I was all beter, I used my
foot to move something heavy across in front of me and felt that pain
again, althought I recognized exactly where it was, turns out it is a
"groin pull".  I still get it, it is just as painful, and have decided
that it won't go away, and will most likely cause me pain again in
January when this baby is born.  My son is now 2 1/2.

	Other than that, I felt pretty normal as soon as my episiotomy
healed totally.  Sexually, though, is an entirely different story, I
still do not have the drive I once had, and couldn't care less.

	Weight-wise, I started dieting in Dec. to get rid of the last
15 lbs before I got pregnant again (which we planned for May - God
loves me!).  After I lost it, I didn't feel like I had a mother's body
- save those stretch makes and saggy anatomy ;-)

-Shirl
------------------

In article <1992Jul22.163008.6631@nas.nasa.gov> choi@wk59.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi) writes:
>In article <mylene.711776752@swanee> mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.oz.au (Mylene Pijpers) writes:
>>Some months ago I just walked in the sun and I thought: YEP! I feel
>>physically normal again, like I felt before Josanne was born. (Say
>>8 months, she is 11 mo. now)
>
>Its been 6 months for me, and I finally feel perfectly normal when walking
>and lifting things, though my c-section scar is still pink and has a 
>slight burning sensation. 

My Cesarean scar was pink and raised for 2+ years, and a doctor commented
that it was likely to stay that way.  Sometime during my second pregnancy/
delivery, though, the scar flattened and turned almost the same color as
the surrounding skin.  Don't ask me why.  8 years later, it is 
barely perceptable.
 
>Please post the responses ....I remember trying to find information about
>how long it takes to get back in shape after the birth and not finding any.
>For me, (and I think a lot of other women) a lot of feeling physically 
>and psychologically normal again has to do with losing that weight. There's

It took me 9-18 months to get back to pre-pregnancy weight after my
3 deliveries, but I would say that I felt pretty much "back to normal"
much sooner than that.  For me, I think, getting back to a regular exercise
schedule may be the key, and that happened by about 3-4 months each time.

Sue
------------------------

In article <mylene.711776752@swanee> mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.oz.au (Mylene Pijpers) writes:
>Some months ago I just walked in the sun and I thought: YEP! I feel
>physically normal again, like I felt before Josanne was born. (Say
>8 months, she is 11 mo. now)
>
>What I would like to know from other mothers is things like:
>
>- Did you get this feeling I tried to describe, if so, when did you 
>  notice it.

Yes, I got this feeling too, but not until my son was 10 or 12 months
old, I think.  At that point, I had finally lost all but 2 or 3 pounds
of my pregnancy weight, my skin had tightened back up again, I'd been
exercising long enough to feel back in shape, and I was getting a
regular full-night's sleep every night.  For me, this feeling was
based solely on how I felt physically--emotionally, psychologically,
and logistically, my life will never be back to "normal." 

>- What factors do you think are involved: during pregnancy, maternity 
>  leave, psychological factors, having more children, work before/after
>  birth, the newborn itself, the amount of work you have to do in
>  the house, and how do you think they affected your "extended recovery".

For me the factors involved were sleep, exercise, and hormones.  It
is my own personal theory, totally unsubstantiated by anything other
than my own experience and speculation, that post-pregnancy hormone 
levels take a LONG time to get back to normal.  For me, probably a year.   
Plus, it takes me a long time to adjust my sleep patterns back to
sleeping all night long after so many months of pregnancy-induced
sleeplessness and baby-induced sleeplessness.  I can harbor a sleep
debt for a long time, and even though my six-month-old daughter has
been sleeping through the night for over three months, I'm just now
feeling like I'm not a sleep-deprived walking zombie.

Psychologically, Going back to work has helped quite a bit in feeling 
normal again after both my pregnancies.  My family is in a pretty 
established routine that feels sort of normal now.  When we had our 
second child, it took me a much shorter time to adjust to having two 
kids than it did to having the first.

We started our family four years ago when I got pregnant with our 
first, and ever since then I've been asking myself "Is this normal?"  
"Is _this_ normal?"  "Is THIS normal?" at pretty regular intervals.  
The answer is always "I guess so."

Judy Drake

-----------------------------

In article <22612@oasys.dt.navy.mil>, dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Diane
Segelhorst) says:
>
>is broken at 3 am would feel the same.  And now for a little bragging
>- I'm down to 4 pounds BELOW my prepregnancy weight, after five weeks!
>Breastfeeding is a great way to diet!
>

I'd like to add my recommendation for the "breastfeeding" diet.  I also
lost about 5 lbs below my prepregnancy weight while nursing.  Now that
Doug is weaned, I've gained a couple back and am probably about my normal
weight.

I'm not sure what the original poster meant about feeling "normal", but
I was surprised at how quickly I recovered.  After a few weeks, my body
was doing fine, stitches healed, etc.  It took a few months to catch up
on the sleep part, and I find I go to bed earlier now--both because I'm
just more active (chasing a baby is work!) and because we regularly rise
at 6 AM (even on weekends :-( ).  But now, ten months after giving birth,
it all seems far away...I think it's true what they say about forgetting
the pain of labor, I KNOW it HURT, but I can't really remember that part.
What I find coming back now and then is the heart swelling feeling the
first moment I touched my son--it still makes my eyes water.

Chris Himes
--------------------------------

I was wondering if pregnancy and childbirth actually caused physical
changes to the body of the mother and if so what was the mechanism
behind this.

For instance:  We are now the proud parents of a 3.5 yr old girl and a
1.6 year old boy.  Since my son was born my wife is back down to her old
weight and is perfectly healthy.  On the other hand, there are some un-
mistakeable changes.  For instance, her feet are longer and wider so
that her old shoes and boots no longer fit.  Another:  my wife is in 
incredibly great physical condition, but she appears to be wider and
her abdomen is not as flat as before.  She has had to get rid of a sig-
nificant proportion of her wardrobe.  What happened?

Please don't tell me my wife is not in shape, because she can aerobicize
me and virtually anyone into the ground.  She also lifts weights, swims
and runs.

bsirvine
-------------------------------

In article <mylene.711776752@swanee> mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.oz.au (Mylene Pijpers) writes:
>Some months ago I just walked in the sun and I thought: YEP! I feel
>physically normal again, like I felt before Josanne was born. (Say
>8 months, she is 11 mo. now)

My son is 8.5mo and I'm feeling reasonable physically normal
again. Off course, there's the tiredness, partly because Cees is
still drinking once or twice every night. But at least I was back
to my pre-pregnancy weight in three months (but when I tried some
pre-pregnancy clothes I was shocked to discover that I wasn't
back to my pre-pregnancy figure :-). And now I'm even six kg's below
my pre-pregnancy weight (and a little too skinny) thanks to
breastfeeding with a restricted diet (no milk, dairy products, or
anything with milk in it, etc). I really enjoy dressing in sexy
clothes again.

What really made me consider myself 'normal' again was the fact
that I got my period back last week. Now that I'm ovulating again
I feel that my body is ready to contain another little one. Never
thought that once I would be very happy with my period!

>- What factors do you think are involved: during pregnancy, maternity 
>  leave, psychological factors, having more children, work before/after
>  birth, the newborn itself, the amount of work you have to do in
>  the house, and how do you think they affected your "extended recovery".

What helped with my recovery: maternity leave and parental leave.
In Holland we have sixteen weeks paid maternity leave (by law) of
which you get four to six weeks before birth and at least ten
weeks after birth. (I got seven weeks before birth and twelve
thereafter because Cees was three weeks late). I really enjoyed
the twelve weeks after birth to get used to the new addition to
the family.

After maternity leave I used my parental leave which allows you
to work half time for half a year. By law this leave is unpaid,
but my company pays half my salary for the time I'm not actually
working (which results in about 90% of your netto salary for only
50% working). I think it would have been difficult to work full
time at three months post partem. Now I'm going to work full time
from August 18th on, so we'll see how I will manage that.

The amount of work I do in the house has drastically decreased
since Cees has joined us. We have lowered our standards, but we
don't really like the chaos our household is. But then we'll
learn to live with that. At least the baby is happy, because he
doesn't mind the household, but he minds the playing and the
nursing and he gets a lot of both.

What still is not physically okay is my belly, which is still
dropping a little bit, when I'm going to lie on my side. It's not
like the first weeks (when it really was a terrible sight) but I
would like it to go away alltogether. Maybe I will have to
exercise more?

                                       Karen
                                       (mom to Cees, 8.5mo)

-- 
Sander Plomp                                        Internet: sander@cwi.nl
---------------------------
In article <1992Jul22.163008.6631@nas.nasa.gov> choi@wk59.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi) writes:
>In article <mylene.711776752@swanee> mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.oz.au (Mylene Pijpers) writes:
>>Some months ago I just walked in the sun and I thought: YEP! I feel
>>physically normal again, like I felt before Josanne was born. (Say
>>8 months, she is 11 mo. now)
>
>Its been 6 months for me, and I finally feel perfectly normal when walking
>and lifting things, though my c-section scar is still pink and has a 
>slight burning sensation. 

My Cesarean scar was pink and raised for 2+ years, and a doctor commented
that it was likely to stay that way.  Sometime during my second pregnancy/
delivery, though, the scar flattened and turned almost the same color as
the surrounding skin.  Don't ask me why.  8 years later, it is 
barely perceptable.
 
>Please post the responses ....I remember trying to find information about
>how long it takes to get back in shape after the birth and not finding any.
>For me, (and I think a lot of other women) a lot of feeling physically 
>and psychologically normal again has to do with losing that weight. There's

It took me 9-18 months to get back to pre-pregnancy weight after my
3 deliveries, but I would say that I felt pretty much "back to normal"
much sooner than that.  For me, I think, getting back to a regular exercise
schedule may be the key, and that happened by about 3-4 months each time.

Sue
--------------------------------

In article <mylene.711776752@swanee> mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.oz.au (Mylene Pijpers) writes:
>Some months ago I just walked in the sun and I thought: YEP! I feel
>physically normal again, like I felt before Josanne was born. (Say
>8 months, she is 11 mo. now)
>
>What I would like to know from other mothers is things like:
>
>- Did you get this feeling I tried to describe, if so, when did you 
>  notice it.

Yes, I got this feeling too, but not until my son was 10 or 12 months
old, I think.  At that point, I had finally lost all but 2 or 3 pounds
of my pregnancy weight, my skin had tightened back up again, I'd been
exercising long enough to feel back in shape, and I was getting a
regular full-night's sleep every night.  For me, this feeling was
based solely on how I felt physically--emotionally, psychologically,
and logistically, my life will never be back to "normal." 

>- What factors do you think are involved: during pregnancy, maternity 
>  leave, psychological factors, having more children, work before/after
>  birth, the newborn itself, the amount of work you have to do in
>  the house, and how do you think they affected your "extended recovery".

For me the factors involved were sleep, exercise, and hormones.  It
is my own personal theory, totally unsubstantiated by anything other
than my own experience and speculation, that post-pregnancy hormone 
levels take a LONG time to get back to normal.  For me, probably a year.   
Plus, it takes me a long time to adjust my sleep patterns back to
sleeping all night long after so many months of pregnancy-induced
sleeplessness and baby-induced sleeplessness.  I can harbor a sleep
debt for a long time, and even though my six-month-old daughter has
been sleeping through the night for over three months, I'm just now
feeling like I'm not a sleep-deprived walking zombie.

Psychologically, Going back to work has helped quite a bit in feeling 
normal again after both my pregnancies.  My family is in a pretty 
established routine that feels sort of normal now.  When we had our 
second child, it took me a much shorter time to adjust to having two 
kids than it did to having the first.

We started our family four years ago when I got pregnant with our 
first, and ever since then I've been asking myself "Is this normal?"  
"Is _this_ normal?"  "Is THIS normal?" at pretty regular intervals.  
The answer is always "I guess so."

Judy Drake
--------------------------------

In article <92205.094352CLH7@psuvm.psu.edu>, Chris Himes
<CLH7@psuvm.psu.edu> wrote:
> 
> In article <22612@oasys.dt.navy.mil>, dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Diane
> Segelhorst) says:
> >
> >is broken at 3 am would feel the same.  And now for a little bragging
> >- I'm down to 4 pounds BELOW my prepregnancy weight, after five weeks!
> >Breastfeeding is a great way to diet!
> >
> 
> I'd like to add my recommendation for the "breastfeeding" diet.  I also
> lost about 5 lbs below my prepregnancy weight while nursing.  Now that
> Doug is weaned, I've gained a couple back and am probably about my normal
> weight.

Can somebody let me know how I can construct a 'kill file' for
posters who actually got back to their pre-pregnancy weight?
I gained over 60 pounds when I was pregnant, and its all still
there, every single #@$%^ pound of it. I breast fed for over 3
years, and I didn't eat like a pig, honestly.

I'd love to get my body back, but I think that there's 
just some changes you have to learn to live with....

sigh. Juliet

--------------------------

> Carrie was born almost 5 weeks ago, via c-section following relatively
> long labor.  I felt physically back to normal, including swinging my
> 32 pound two year old over my head, by the time four weeks had passed.
> I get a little tired in the afternoon, but I think anyone whose sleep
> is broken at 3 am would feel the same.  And now for a little bragging
> - I'm down to 4 pounds BELOW my prepregnancy weight, after five weeks!
> Breastfeeding is a great way to diet!

That's great!  But it's making me feel insecure.  I had a normal vaginal
delivery, and after 3 months, still feel tired and not the least normal.
And Paul's been sleeping thru the night for over two weeks.  I also still
have 15 lbs to go (gained 40), and I've even started running again.  I'm
jealous... BTW, I am breasfeeding, too, but haven't lost *any* weight since
Paul was 5 weeks old!

Donna

----------------------------------

In article <3782@wyse.wyse.com> donna@wyse.wyse.com (Donna Diloreto x2231 dept302) writes:
>> Carrie was born almost 5 weeks ago, via c-section following relatively
>> long labor.  I felt physically back to normal, including swinging my
>> 32 pound two year old over my head, by the time four weeks had passed.

>That's great!  But it's making me feel insecure.  I had a normal vaginal
>delivery, and after 3 months, still feel tired and not the least normal.
>
>... (parts erased)
>Donna

I had a vaginal delivery and had gained 50 pounds. I nursed for eight
months. I remember that at six months I still could not walk at a even
slightly accelerated pace without major pain in my lower body. I
thought that this was normal and did not see a doctor for this. It
finally went away.

In spite of nursing Sebastian I still have 10 pounds left at 18 months
now. I don't think highly of dieting. So I won't do that. I feel slim
but it seems that my body composition simply has changed. I have this
theory that women with relatively low weight at the beginning of their
pregnancy have a harder time getting back to prepregnancy weight. Can
anyone support or refute this?

Emotionally I was back to normal after Sebastian started sleeping
through the night at 12 months. The hormonal chnges after the birth
were certainly destabilizing but sleep deprivation was just the worst
thing. 

Is there anybody else out there who took a long time to feel "normal".

   Cheers,

------------------------

In article <3782@wyse.wyse.com> donna@wyse.wyse.com (Donna Diloreto x2231 dept302) writes:
>> Carrie was born almost 5 weeks ago, via c-section following relatively
>> long labor.  I felt physically back to normal, including swinging my
>> 32 pound two year old over my head, by the time four weeks had passed.
>> I get a little tired in the afternoon, but I think anyone whose sleep
>> is broken at 3 am would feel the same.  And now for a little bragging
>> - I'm down to 4 pounds BELOW my prepregnancy weight, after five weeks!
>> Breastfeeding is a great way to diet!
>
>That's great!  But it's making me feel insecure.  I had a normal vaginal
>delivery, and after 3 months, still feel tired and not the least normal.
>And Paul's been sleeping thru the night for over two weeks.  I also still
>have 15 lbs to go (gained 40), and I've even started running again.  I'm
>jealous... BTW, I am breasfeeding, too, but haven't lost *any* weight since
>Paul was 5 weeks old!
>
>Donna


Just to make Donna feel better:  after 6 months I too have 15 pounds to go.
However, I only gained 22 pounds and had a 7 pound baby.  Hmm 22 - 7 = 15!
I lost some weight in the first 2 weeks but then gained it all back plus
some (now that's discouraging!).  Yes, I breastfed for 3 months, but it
didn't magically melt the pounds off.  In fact, I was usually so hungry
that I think I got into poor eating habits which I'm now finding it hard
to break.  However, I had the same pattern with my first baby 3 years ago.
I took 1.5 - 2 years to lose all the weight, but I did it eventually (just
in time to decide to get pregnant again!).
-- 
Susan Gauch
sgauch@flora.ccs.northeastern.edu
--------------------------------

In article <l7frgnINNonr@earth.cs.utexas.edu> adf@cs.utexas.edu (Angela Dappert-Farquhar) writes:

   In article <3782@wyse.wyse.com> donna@wyse.wyse.com (Donna Diloreto x2231 dept302) writes:
   >> Carrie was born almost 5 weeks ago, via c-section following relatively
   >> long labor.  I felt physically back to normal, including swinging my
   >> 32 pound two year old over my head, by the time four weeks had passed.

   >That's great!  But it's making me feel insecure.  I had a normal vaginal
   >delivery, and after 3 months, still feel tired and not the least normal.
   >
   >... (parts erased)
   >Donna

   I had a vaginal delivery and had gained 50 pounds. I nursed for eight
   months. I remember that at six months I still could not walk at a even
   slightly accelerated pace without major pain in my lower body. I
   thought that this was normal and did not see a doctor for this. It
   finally went away.

   In spite of nursing Sebastian I still have 10 pounds left at 18 months
   now. 

I recently read a reference to a study that purported to demonstrate
that contrary to the La Leche propaganda and old wive's tales,
breastfeeding does not help a woman lose the extra weight she put on
during pregnancy.  Does anyone have more details on this?  I know that
in my family, the weight doesn't come off until the child weans.  Will
is still nursing (at two years, four months);  I hope that when he
weans, I'll lose the few extra pounds I still have- just in time for
his high school graduation :)

   Emotionally I was back to normal after Sebastian started sleeping
   through the night at 12 months. The hormonal chnges after the birth
   were certainly destabilizing but sleep deprivation was just the worst
   thing. 

   Is there anybody else out there who took a long time to feel "normal".

Yes.  Will didn't sleep through until he was TWO, despite all our best
efforts and Ferberizing.  I found the sleep deprivation horrible.  I
would like another child, but my husband says he would find it hard to
go through all that sleep deprivation again, and I have to agree.  I
tell my husband that we're due for a sleeper next time, but what if we
get another baby who takes **no naps** for the first nine months of
his life, and wakes up every two hours at night?  

-- Anne
anne@dolores.stanford.edu
-------------------------------

In article <l7frgnINNonr@earth.cs.utexas.edu>, adf@cs.utexas.edu (Angela Dappert-Farquhar) writes:

 I have this
> theory that women with relatively low weight at the beginning of their
> pregnancy have a harder time getting back to prepregnancy weight. Can
> anyone support or refute this?

I don't know about this theory.  My normal prepregnancy
weight is 116 lbs (I'm 5'6").  I gained the same amount of weight each
pregnancy, 20 pounds, delivered big babies (8.5 and 10 lbs) and was back at PP
weight within a week or so.  I then went down another 10 pounds, and although
I'm still nursing my daughter I suspect I will again go back up to my normal
weight after she weans.  Anyway, the smartest thing I did was have a skinny
mother!  To get back to your theory, I think weight gain and retention probably
have more to do with whatever metabolism a woman has, heavy or thin.  In other
words women I've known who have to watch their weight when not pregnant seem to
gain more and have a harder time losing it.  But this is strictly my
observation, so please don't deluge me with stories--I know YMMV!

> 
> Emotionally I was back to normal after Sebastian started sleeping
> through the night at 12 months. The hormonal chnges after the birth
> were certainly destabilizing but sleep deprivation was just the worst
> thing. 
> 
Bingo!  I don't want to jinx it but my daughter has now gone a week sleeping
through, and I already feel like I have more hours in the day somehow.  Maybe
it's because I'm not spending the day wishing I could nap :). 

What I've found about getting "back to normal" with the second baby is that it
has taken just about this long (9+ months) postpartum to resettle our family
into its new configuration.  It wasn't the physical changes that took a long
time to pass, it was the need to develop new ways of mothering two rather than
one.  From the simple:  feeding two hungry little ones, bathing two tired
wigglers, just loading two into the car and careening through the grocery
store...to dealing with jealousy from the elder, and never having any time for
ourselves as a couple.

But oddly enough, now somehow two seems easier to manage in some ways!  I find
myself tossing them in the van and just heading out for errands that I used to
try to do alone when I only had one child.  And the bond that is developing
between them is wonderful to see.

So, when does life get back to normal?  Well, what's normal?!

Ann Helmers
------------------------


In article <l7frgnINNonr@earth.cs.utexas.edu>, adf@cs.utexas.edu (Angela Dappert-Farquhar) writes:
|> ....I have this
|> theory that women with relatively low weight at the beginning of their
|> pregnancy have a harder time getting back to prepregnancy weight. Can
|> anyone support or refute this?

I'm sure that the fact that I was over my "ideal weight" before I
got pregnant is why I'm now only four pounds over my pre-pregnancy 
weight, three months after my son's birth. I'm hoping that
continued nursing will get me below my original weight.

I'm a lot more than four pounds *fatter*, though. Oh, well, getting
back in shape is a lot more fun than not eating is. Walking is much
better exercise when I'm carrying Will in his Sara's Ride carrier.

The effect of nursing varies from one person to another. It increases 
your caloric expenditure, but the hormone prolactin tends to increase 
fat reserves, so it can go either way. I've seen reports of studies
where the prolactin antagonist bromocriptine has been used as a diet
drug, evidently with some success. Not that I'd try it if I were
dieting (obviously when not nursing).

Paula Burch
pburch@bcm.tmc.edu

Cute thing: I'm wearing my wedding ring on a chain around my neck, 
because my fingers are still fatter than before I got pregnant, and 
I'm nursing Will as I type: Will's been playing with it as he nurses, 
and now he has my ring on the middle finger of his right hand!

---------------------------

In article <l7frgnINNonr@earth.cs.utexas.edu> adf@cs.utexas.edu (Angela Dappert-Farquhar) writes:
>Emotionally I was back to normal after Sebastian started sleeping
>through the night at 12 months. The hormonal chnges after the birth
>were certainly destabilizing but sleep deprivation was just the worst
>thing. 
>
I certainly agree about the sleep deprivation. My son started sleeping
through the night more-or-less consistently at age 2.5 or so; it took
me another 6 months to train myself to sleep through the night again,
and only then did I start feeling back to normal. (I'm fairly athletic
and compete off and on, so maybe I'm more particular about what 'normal'
is).

As for fat - even with breastfeeding and plenty of exercise, it took
me 11 months to lose the 22 lbs excess gained with the first baby, and
much more than a year for the second baby. And with the added stress
that children create, it seems much, much harder to keep from gaining
weight than it did before.

--
Caroline Lambert  				
--------------------------

In article <1992Jul30.141844.13730@umiami.ir.miami.edu> ahelmers@umiami.ir.miami.edu (Ann Helmers) writes:
>In article <l7frgnINNonr@earth.cs.utexas.edu>, adf@cs.utexas.edu (Angela Dappert-Farquhar) writes:
>
> I have this
>> theory that women with relatively low weight at the beginning of their
>> pregnancy have a harder time getting back to prepregnancy weight. Can
>> anyone support or refute this?
>
>I don't know about this theory.  My normal prepregnancy
>weight is 116 lbs (I'm 5'6").  I gained the same amount of weight each
>pregnancy, 20 pounds, delivered big babies (8.5 and 10 lbs) and was back at PP
>weight within a week or so.  I then went down another 10 pounds, and although
>I'm still nursing my daughter I suspect I will again go back up to my normal
>weight after she weans.  Anyway, the smartest thing I did was have a skinny
>mother!  

Well, this theory holds for me--my normal size is about 118 lbs (5'5"), and
it takes me a year or a year and a half to get back to my prepregnancy
weight.  I am a big weight-gainer when pregnant, though--45 lbs. the first
time and over 50 the second.  My daughter is now 6.5 months old and I still 
have 10 lbs. to go.  With two kids, I don't have a lot of time to exercise 
any more, so that may have something to do with it.

I also did not lose weight when nursing.  I dropped a few pounds immediately
in the week or two after my daughter was born, and then plateaued for 
the rest of the two months I nursed her.  It was only after weaning her
that I started to lose weight (VERY gradually) again.

I was also going to say before I saw Ann's post that I knew of an exception 
to the theory--I saw a picture of Ann H. taken when Caroline was just a 
tiny baby and she (Ann) looked fantastic (so did the baby, BTW).  It was 
disgusting! ;^) ;^) I guess Caroline did a pretty smart thing having a 
skinny mother too!

Judy Drake

---------------------------

In article <3260@master.CNA.TEK.COM> judyd@aspen.CNA.TEK.COM (Judy E. Drake) writes:
>In article <1992Jul30.141844.13730@umiami.ir.miami.edu> ahelmers@umiami.ir.miami.edu (Ann Helmers) writes:
>>I'm still nursing my daughter I suspect I will again go back up to my normal
>>weight after she weans.  Anyway, the smartest thing I did was have a skinny
>>mother!  
>
>I was also going to say before I saw Ann's post that I knew of an exception 
>to the theory--I saw a picture of Ann H. taken when Caroline was just a 
>tiny baby and she (Ann) looked fantastic (so did the baby, BTW).  It was 
>disgusting! ;^) ;^) I guess Caroline did a pretty smart thing having a 
>skinny mother too!

HA! I *do* have a skinny mom (well she was before menopause) and it didnt
do me a bit of good. I guess the same person who advised Ann and me to get
a skinny mother forgot to mention skinny fathers too! I went for a stocky
father with a weight problem. Lucky me!

I am still 30 pounds over my prepregnancy weight (with Jeffrey), and it looks
like I will have to wait a while before trying to loose it. I was just at the
breaking point with my weight and about to seek out weight watchers when I
got pregnant! 

And to all you people who are complaining about being 5-10 pounds overweight
a big *THPTTTH* to you. And to those who let us know how quickly you bounce
back to your original weight a double *THPTTTH*!! I wont even say anything to
Diane who is now 5 pounds less, cause I may get bounced off the net. :-)

Feeling FAT and grumpy!
Laura Floom

----------------------

In article <l7frgnINNonr@earth.cs.utexas.edu> adf@cs.utexas.edu (Angela Dappert-Farquhar) writes:
>
>In spite of nursing Sebastian I still have 10 pounds left at 18 months
>now. I don't think highly of dieting. So I won't do that. I feel slim
>but it seems that my body composition simply has changed. I have this
>theory that women with relatively low weight at the beginning of their
>pregnancy have a harder time getting back to prepregnancy weight. Can
>anyone support or refute this?
>

  Funny thing; I've always thought the opposite - from my own experience,
and that of several slender friends, it seems to me that they have a much
easier time getting back to their pre-pregnancy weight, even if they 
didn't want to.  I have always been very slender, but fairly tall, and
I gained 28 pounds with both my pregnancies.  I lost most of that rapidly,
and without effort, and the last 5 went after I stopped nursing.  I've
had several slender friends that did the same.  
  One factor that could make the difference in thinking about this is
whether you are talking about women that are slender, but have to work
at it, or whether the group is made up of women that were just born to
be thin.  I'm definately in the latter category ("slender" is the polite
word; most would call me "skinny", or worse), and so are the people I've
got in mind.  I eat a fairly normal amount, but apparently burn it all
up just in the course of daily living.  Pregnancy does not seem to have
changed that one bit.
  Now, if you are talking about body **shape**, I can tell you for sure
that my weight re-distributed itself, and no amount of spot toning has
changed that.  My waist is bigger and my bust is smaller (I know, you
are supposed to get bigger after pregnancy/nursing, but there is a
quiet minority out there that gets smaller after every baby.  I have
no idea why that should be, but it is my theory that the small get
smaller, the big get bigger, and a certain number in between stay the
same!)
  Now we have two theories to debate -- weight loss and bust loss!
 
					Susanne Gilliam

----------------------

Just another data point...

While I know of a few people who lost weight while breastfeeding, it seems to
be more common (at least from the people I've heard about) to maintain more
weight while breastfeeding.  In spite of the fact that the body burns a 
tremendous number of calories while nursing, I think it's also more common
that the body holds on to the fat stores during that time (I've heard more 
stories of people who suddenly dropped 10 lbs. immediately after they
stopped nursing).

So, for those of you (like myself!) who don't seem to lose the weight so fast,
be patient, give the kid what they need, and you'll get there eventually!

Mary
mwyllie@at4cad.intel.com
--------------------------

In article <1992Jul30.215909.10459@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov>, lauraf@classy.Jpl.Nasa.Gov (Laura Floom) writes:
> And to all you people who are complaining about being 5-10 pounds overweight
> a big *THPTTTH* to you. And to those who let us know how quickly you bounce
> back to your original weight a double *THPTTTH*!! I wont even say anything to
> Diane who is now 5 pounds less, cause I may get bounced off the net. :-)


Well there is skinny but then there is also the fact that I could *almost* toss
the flab on my tummy area over my shoulder! :)  Weight certainly doesn't tell
the whole story...   Not to mention the fact my daughter gave up nursing from
my left breast COMPLETELY 3 months ago, which enhances that rather bizarre
Sandra Bernhard/Madonna composite effect.

Don't feel fat and grumpy Laura...remember it is definitely for a good 
cause! :)

Ann Helmers
---------------------

Susanne Gilliam writes:

>  Now, if you are talking about body **shape**, I can tell you for sure
>that my weight re-distributed itself, and no amount of spot toning has
>changed that.  My waist is bigger and my bust is smaller (I know, you
>are supposed to get bigger after pregnancy/nursing, but there is a
>quiet minority out there that gets smaller after every baby.  ...

For me, they both got bigger ...but after the fat goes, there'll probably
be no difference. But I've heard many tales of women getting smaller and only 
a couple tales of women getting larger.  I remember that a common reason for 
breast enlargements was to restore what disappeared after pregnancy.

Other changes that I have noticed are larger feet, a larger ringsize, bigger
hips and a bigger rib cage. Does this happen with each pregnancy?  If you 
have 12 kids do you end up with humongous feet?

diana
-----------------------

In article <1992Jul31.204851.14915@nas.nasa.gov>, choi@wk59.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi) writes:
|> Other changes that I have noticed are larger feet, a larger ringsize, bigger
|> hips and a bigger rib cage. Does this happen with each pregnancy?  If you 
|> have 12 kids do you end up with humongous feet?

I was assuming that my larger ring size was due to fatness, due to not 
being in shape after being unable to exercise for several months. Is 
needing a larger ring size common? 

Due to the design of my wedding ring, resizing to a larger size will not 
be trivial, although I do still know the artist at least. This has been 
my biggest motivation to get back in shape--I can live with the altered 
size and shape otherwise, but I would so like to be able to wear my 
wedding ring again!

My feet seem to have returned to their previous size, but it's hard to tell, since I never wear shoes. 

Paula Burch
pburch@bcm.tmc.edu

(Yes, I wear sandals. I know it looks as though I claimed to go barefoot 
all the time!)