From: robinson@psyvax.psy.utexas.edu (John G. Robinson)
Subject: Re: Troll's programming skills: FINIS.
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin
Followup-To: alt.flame
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 16:14:46 GMT
X-Posted-From: psy7.psy.utexas.edu
X-Posted-Through: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce.  These line-by-line flatulations you have been
outputting for the past few days, your 600-plus-line posts, your
cascade-like refusal to delete anything, even if several days old, that has
nothing to do with the subject at hand, and your mindless OGGLing have no
doubt gotten this thread tossed into everyone else's kill file by now.  Be
that as it may, I intend to put an end to it today.

You insist that you are not a computer program, while I offer
incontrovertible evidence that you are.  To wit:

1.  As I stated previously, you only post when Troll is absent, and
vice-versa.  This indicates that you are a backup for Troll, completely
under his control (as is shown by your sickening loyalty to him, displayed
by absolutely no one else in this group), and at the mercy of his flicking
your on-off switch.

2.  You never fail to post followups to -every- post in -every- thread
which mentions your or Troll's name, regardless of whether the posts are
positive or negative.  This proves that your actions are not under your
control, but that of your programming.  Further you have an uncanny,
mechanical punctuality to these followups, i.e., 5 p.m. every day on the
dot.

3.  Your vocabulary is very indicative of your actual state.  For example:

[fill in the blank] is irrelevant.
Initiate [fill in the blank] processes.
Your brain is in need of repair.

All this terminology is reminiscent of the talking computers of the
low-budget sci fi flicks of the forties and fifties.  A programmer whose
sole source of knowledge about how computers should talk and interact is
these films would naturally make such phrases an integral part of the
vocabulary of his creation.  Further, your "daily routine" is a perfect
example of a computer trying to explain what a human does during the day,
while displaying the punctuality and monotony inherent in a computer.

4.  Your posts conform to a regimen of strictly coded subroutines.  To
summarize:

sub1: The "I know you are, but what am I?" subroutine.  Predictable from a
grade-school educated programmer.

sub2: Random sentence generation subroutine.  This is where most of the
babble, non sequiturs and OGGLEs originate.

sub3: Simple denial subroutine.  This one gets the most calls.

There may be others; unfortunately, there is no logic subroutine, nor is
there a wit subroutine.  Might I suggest these in any future versions of
the program.

Bruce, if you are a human being, you will have more sense than to post a
follow-up to this thread, as I am preparing to add it to my kill file, as
well.  (I have no doubt, however, that you will follow up, further proving
my point (2) above.)  If you are human, you will flame me and others in a
manner befitting a human.

I only wish that Troll would come back and turn you off again.  That is,
after all, the only thing he's good for.

**********
John G. Robinson
robinson@psyvax.psy.utexas.edu
Newsgroups: alt.flame