From: aberno@godel.questor.wimsey.bc.ca (Anthony Berno)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Extended Sex
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 16:38:14 GMT
Reply-To: aberno@godel.questor.wimsey.bc.ca

In article <1992Sep25.014946.16511@riacs.edu> drogers@riacs.edu (David  
Rogers) writes:
> Extended sex
> 
> One of the sexual distinctions I hear little about is sex that lasts a 
> relatively short time (say, up to a few hours) versus sex that may 
> extend for days or even weeks.  
> 
> At first, this distinction may seem silly, about as profound a measure
> as counting orgasms, but I claim there's a lot more to it than that...
> that in drawing out the act people can attain a form of heightened 
> consciousness and a closeness I've never achieved otherwise.

There is no doubt that there are a lot of ways to have some very  
interesting sexual experiences. Some people go for withholding  
ejaculation, others get much of what you describe through medium or long  
term bondage.

I don't know how others feel about it, but I find that the current need  
for safer sexual practices, and the subsequent requirement that certain  
acts be avoided or the appropriate precautions taken, really affects the  
way in which sex is experienced. While the "quckie" is not really  
compromised, other than for the few seconds one must chase that little  
rubber thingy that keeps flying across the room, the extended /  
transcendental / ultra-cosmic sexual experience is seriously hampered by  
having to be conscious of procedure and the restrictions involved. 

Unless, unlike myself, one is blessed with a monogamous lover who is HIV-,  
such experiences, which ideally require the release of all the inhibitions  
associated with modern life, are not really part of the sexual buffet.

On the other hand, if neither party *wants* to fuck (which, unfortunately,  
I would *like* to do 24 hours a day) things might be different.

Perhaps a devil-may-care attitude towards HIV, indicating that one is  
willing to share whatever fate may be in store a loved one, could be both  
intensely romantic and strongly bonding. Unfortunately, in analogy to the  
fact that we don't *actually* drink lye when mourning a romantic  
disillusionment, such ideas are often better in theory than in practice.



As a footnote to this article, in a rather different tone, I shall mention  
that there really *is* a wide spectrum of consciousness-altering aspects  
to sex. On one level, a simple intensity of sensation can push ones mind  
into a hitherto unexplored realm; I have, for example, occasional sexual  
encounters with a rather uncommunicative fellow who I refer to as the  
"Unnamed". Part of his sizzle is his brute forcefulness, and when he  
twists my nipples and violates my corporeal being with his rather enormous  
tool, the result is an instant out-of-body experience. (For some reason,  
he also makes my teeth tingle, an ability that only my dentist shares.) 

On a more complicated level, the rhythms of sex can induce a trance-like  
state which, if one carries it as far as it will go, can lead one into  
some very strange realms. I had always wondered about the experience of  
"synesthesia", in which one hears light, or feels sound... that is, until  
late one night a few years ago, when I "woke" (not quite!) from sleep to  
find my body wildly humping that of my lover, who was at the time quite  
awake and highly amused by the spectacle. From my end, the experience was  
entirely transformed in ways that are difficult to describe; although I  
was fairly lucid, and able to understand that I was having a synesthetic  
experience, my sense of my own body was so transformed that it was quite  
some time before I could figure out what I was actually doing. It was as  
if the world had been passed through a great Fourier transform, so that  
locations, objects and the like were expressed as spatially and temporally  
periodic pulses. It was not unlike being inside some fantastically  
complicated automation with rows and rows of identical mechanisms all  
doing something simultaneously. It was at once both extremely strange and  
extremely pleasurable. 

Fortunately, (or unfortunately as the case may be?) John is generally  
awake for these episodes, which allows him to discreetly prevent me from  
doing anything potentially hazardous to my health. (He is HIV+.)  
Nonetheless, he certainly seems to enjoy being awakened in the middle of  
the night by such strange pokings as I am wont to generate. :-)


-Anthony
Newsgroups: soc.motss