From: jewell@MACE.CC.PURDUE.EDU (Larry Jewell)
Newsgroups: soc.veterans
Subject: 'NamVet Newsletter Annual #2 1/7
Date: 26 Jul 92 01:25:51 GMT


     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

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     |        The International Newsletter for Vietnam Veterans       |
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                                                           DATA NUMBER
     Editor in Chief: Todd Looney     Viet Vets Valhalla     <down>
     Managing Editor: G. Joseph Peck  VETLink #1         (413) 443-6313
     Distribution Manager: Bob Morris Pole Climber 2     (203) 287-4085
     NAM VET's PAPERBOY:   Jerry Hindle                      7:48/0
                         --- Section Editors ---
     PTSD:    Kathleen Kelly, Ph.D.   NY Transfer        (718) 448-2358
     AGENT ORANGE:     Martin Kroll   Ft Mountain BBS    (404) 695-8703
     MIA-POW:        Glenn Toothman   Commo Bunker TX      1:387/801
     VA INFO:          Jim Hildwine   ZEPHYR BBS         (703) 620-5418
     HOMELESS:       Lefty Frizzell   Executive B'rdroom   1:106/449
     INCARCERATED VETS: Todd Looney   Viet Vets Valhalla     <down>
     WOMEN VETS:   <OPEN>
     MEMORIES:       G. Joseph Peck   VETLink #1         (413) 443-6313
                                |
                               )|
     NAM VET  is a special _+|__|_   electronic newsletter dedicated to
              * VIETNAM   |---  --|  VETERANS *   around the world  and
     ------------------------===========================  provided as a
       \_______________________________________________)free service to
                                                           participants
     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^     in  the
     International Vietnam Veterans EchoConference (IVVEC) available on
     many bulletin boards throughout the United States, Europe, Canada,
     and Australia.
                                                   _
       Not all of the articles appearing in here   |   are  written  by
     participants in the IVVEC, but NAM VET        |   is very  much an
     electronic newsletter by, of            -----/_\-----     and  for
     Vietnam veterans,  their   -O==============<  :  >==============O-
     friends, wives, and lovers.         ( )     (...)      ( )
     The newsletter is comprised of articles and items from individuals
     and other sources.
                              |
       We are not responsible | for the content of this information nor
     are any of NAM VET's     |____====________        contributor's or
     Section Editors          ||__________}____)==================|)
                   =============---------------------===_____
                 /|         |          |         |         |\\
                   \________|__________|_________|_________|/
                     \\(O)___(O)___(O)___(O)___(O)___(O)//
     
     Duplication in any form permitted for noncommercial purposes only.
     For other use, contact:  Todd Looney     at  (408) 947-7668
                              G. Joseph Peck  at  (413) 442-1660
     

     =================================================================

                     T A B L E   O F   C O N T E N T S

     
     1.  EDITORIALS
          louds, Rainbows and Prisms ..............................  1
          VETERANS, SPEAK OUT AND BE HEARD! .......................  4
          A Soldier Known But to God" .............................  6
          You Bet Your Sweet Bippy I am!! .........................  8

     2.  Missing!!!
          Two Kinds of American Hero .............................. 10
          They haven't forgutten US!!! ............................ 12

     3.  Touchin' Where We Live
          Dear Dad ................................................ 13
          Mommy, Did You Kill Anybody In The War? ................. 16
          The Silent Shot - A Remembrance ......................... 17
          Not On This Wall ........................................ 23
          Ho Chang ................................................ 27
          Yahrzeit '88 ............................................ 30
          Why Do We Feel So Guilty? ............................... 33
          The Other Forgotten Warriors ............................ 36
          And I waited... ......................................... 40
          Two Walls ............................................... 43

     4.  Our Flag!!!
          Stars and Stripes! ...................................... 46
          War ..................................................... 58
          The "OLD GLORY" Story ................................... 59
          A Different Battlefield ................................. 61
          Homecoming III .......................................... 63

     5.  Veterans' Benefits
          Veterans' Appeals Court Seeks Home ...................... 64

     6.  Agent Orange
          Are You listening, President Bush? ...................... 67
          Let Me Tell You Where I've Been I ....................... 70

     7.  Remember Them!!!
          Viet Vets In The Justice System ......................... 74
          A visit or note once in awhile? ......................... 78
          HOMELESS ................................................ 79

     8.  In The Silent Times
          The Silent Warrior ...................................... 82
          Brother Rat's Gourmet Cooking ........................... 84
          The Boonie Rat Song!!! .................................. 89

     9.  On The Lite Side
          Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations ...................... 91
          Sermon from Mount Dong Quang ............................ 93

     10.  Guide To IVVEC Articles
           ........................................................ 94
          Familiar? ............................................... 95
          NamVet 1- 01, 1-02 ...................................... 96
          NamVet 2-01, 2-02 ....................................... 97
          NamVet 2-03, 2-04, 2-05 ................................. 98
          NamVet 2-06, 2-07 ....................................... 100
          NamVet 2-08, 2-09, 2-10 ................................. 101
          NamVet 2-11, 1st Anniversary Issue ...................... 102
          NamVet 2-12, 3-01, 3-02 ................................. 103
          NamVet 3-03, 3-04, 3-05 ................................. 104
          NamVet 3-06, 3-07, 3-08 ................................. 105
          NamVet 3-9, 3-10 ........................................ 106
          NamVet 3-11 ............................................. 107
          Some Gave All... ........................................ 108

     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                      Page    i
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989



     =================================================================
                            E D I T O R I A L S
     =================================================================

                      Clouds, Rainbows... and Prisms
                           by G. Joseph Peck
                              NAM VETs Managing Editor
                              VETLink #1  Pittsfield, MA
                              (413) 443-6313
     
        Well, the deadline is fast approaching when, no matter WHAT or 
     HOW I feel about not receiving Todd's editorial, this Second 
     Anniversary Issue of NAM VET --MUST-- go to press.  Step by 
     painful step I'm coming to learn how many of YOU must have felt 
     when it was time to be pulled from an AO and you knew some of your 
     troops were still scrambling to reach rendezvous and exit point.  
     Alone, in a sense, I prepare this issue KNOWING that m' brother 
     TRIED... and just didn't quite make it.
     
        When Todd and I published the first NAM VET on 11/11/87, I 
     don't believe either of us realized the good that a simple ol' 
     electronic newsletter could accomplish - both for ourselves and 
     for our brother and sister veterans around the world.  We've heard 
     about it from fellow veterans, seen it written about in newspapers 
     and magazines, and viewed the dogeared copies lying around in our 
     Vet Centers and veteran organizations.  We've also seen NAM VET 
     circulation rapidly grow from its tiny beginnings to what is now 
     near-world-wide distribution.  That tells US that we must be 
     putting together at least some of the things you, our readers, 
     want to read - that what we're trying to do for each of you fills 
     a need.  
     
        'Round about last May, some legal troubles came Todd's way that 
     mandated he sell his computer and shut down the Vietnam Veterans' 
     Valhalla.  In order to continue the "mission" of NAM VET, it 
     quickly became clear to me that the responsibility for carrying on 
     should fall upon one of the founding fathers - me <arghhh!>... 
     and, with a persistence and determination similar to that which 
     sustained me during my 18-1/2 year arduous battle with the VA and 
     other bureaucracies, I have tried to do the best job I could of 
     producing what YOU have requested and/or submitted for all of us 
     to read... 
     
        I'd like to take THIS opportunity to thank each and every one 
     of you - Section Editors, contributors, those who download the NAM 
     VET, and those who share it - for all that producing NAM VET has 
     taught ME...  about the ambush in Happy Valley; about the lonely 
     widow with 3 children who lost her husband to Agent Orange; about 
     the homeless and incarcerated veteran; about our Missing In Action 
     - Prisoners Of War (MIA/POW); and, most importantly, about trying 
     to walk where YOU have walked.  I've found part of me in almost 
     every one of you and, ya know, I don't feel so alone anymore!
     
        Like so many of you, before I entered the service I was pretty 
     confident that Life was orderly and predictable and that my future 
     would be more or less under MY control.  I really and truly 
     believed I WAS a good and worthwhile person and that MY efforts 
     COULD make a difference.  <Don't laugh... I'm bein' painfully 
     honest here <arghhh!>>  Although I didn't get to the 'Nam, it 
     
     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  1
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

     seems like the military and American society did for me what it 
     did for many of you when they discharged me with a "label" as the 
     unit I was assigned to (69th Sig Bn) was split and went to 'Nam 
     and to Germany.  I often wonder how many of those I served with 
     made it back - and I often, too, feel guilty 'cause I wasn't there 
     WITH them to do the job I was trained to do.  (I've found two of 
     'em who came back... one works for a national news network in New 
     York City; the other, after experiencing all kinds of 
     unexplainable illnesses and weight loss, went to California to 
     spend what were possibly his last days in warmth and sunshine 
     instead of the bitter cold of the Northern U.S.)
     
        After my military service, like so many of you, I tried to feel 
     proud of my efforts for this country - but it was hollow and had 
     no meaning when I KNEW, except for my pre-accident performance of 
     my duties, that I had done really nothing to be proud of.  I soon 
     learned that if I wanted a decent job, I should NOT mention my 
     military service.  I'm a determined cuss, though:  a veteran and 
     damned proud of it!  Needless to say, with my service-incurred 
     disabilities which the VA refused to recognize coupled with the 
     general public reaction I encountered, there wasn't much I could 
     find other than apprentice-type or menial labor positions.
     
        Following the lead that so many of you have provided - or 
     leaving footprints that others may easily follow, claims were 
     presented to the VA only to be denied or seen as confirmation that 
     an erroneous military diagnosis was correct.  I couldn't afford 
     private physicians, therapists or counselors and I either had to 
     find a way to deal with it myself or let it overwhelm me.
     
        Yup...  we've been under a very similar cloud.
     
        But then one day I saw a rainbow...  and followed it.  A 
     newspaper reporter, writing about my struggles with the Small 
     Business Administration, called me a "service-connected disabled 
     Vietnam vet" ... and I began to look deeper into some problems 
     that all - ESPECIALLY Vietnam veterans - might be having at that 
     time (1976).  The rainbow, with its multiple colors and differing 
     shades of light it shed on things, pointed me towards 
     Massachusetts a few years later and steered towards the 1983 
     CompuServe Identity of "Vetlink - The Point Man" and then to the 
     1987 creation of VETLink #1.  Eight months later, after constant 
     and continued involvement in the IVVEC and just about the time I 
     was beginning to find HOPE again, a faraway candle flickered as 
     Todd asked that I join with him in creating NAM VET for all of us.
     
        For me - NAM VET has really kept the lights near-bright and has 
     constantly reminded me of the kinship we all share!
     
        And, speaking of "kinship," let's not forget Todd.  He's had 
     problems, like many of us, prior to his most recent difficulty.  
     He's mentioned to me that he's not proud of what's happened, and I 
     can understand that.  I can also understand confidentiality and 
     allegiance and loyalty and acceptance.  Todd and every one of you 
     have taught me in a much better way that I was ever shown prior to 
     IVVEC and NAM VET.  
     
        There's a "cloud" in HIS life right now and sometimes I wonder 
     whether or not my internal guidance system of "not abandoning a 
     
     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  2
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

     brother/sister - or leaving someone behind" might be more harmful 
     than good for Todd.  It is "I" who had the police check on his and 
     Nancy's well-being when I received no answer from their telephone 
     for four or five straight days; It is "I" who constantly hounded 
     him and asked that he US Snail me his editorial until we found a 
     way to get the Valhalla back off-the-ground; it is "I" who have 
     constantly tried to pull him back into something he seemed to care 
     very deeply about.  Maybe I should have just let him go - but, to 
     me, he's a brother veteran who's shared some very important and 
     insightful things with us all, and I have a real problem with 
     that.
     
        It is also "I" who believe that we who contribute to NAM VET 
     and the IVVEC can see the iris of the clouds, can restore hope for 
     at least one when all the world once seems lost - through our 
     words and efforts and prayers, can see another person's actions 
     illuminated in the light of fraternal understanding and concern...
     
        And it is "I" who can see clouds and rainbows and prisms and 
     KNOW that it is nature's way of saying: "Thank You, Vietnam 
     Veterans - it DOES mean sumpin'!"
     
                            'Til our next issue
     
                     Show a brother or sister veteran
     
                             That YOU care!!!
     
                              Ci'ao for Ni'ao
     
                                   -Joe-
     



























     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  3
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

                     VETERANS, SPEAK OUT AND BE HEARD!
                            By: Martin H. Kroll
                                NAM VETs Agent Orange Section Editor
                                Fort Mountain BBS  Chatsworth, GA
                                (404) 695-8703
     
          As another Veteran's Day draws near there are many things on
     my mind.  One of them is the fact that Veteran's Day this year is
     on a Saturday.  I have always wondered why we have a Veteran's Day
     that allows Government workers and bank employees a paid holiday
     when most of the Veterans themselves end up having to work unless
     they are employed by a bank or the Government.  It just doesn't
     seem fair does it?  Oh well, this is just a small trifle compared
     to some of the other things that bother me.
     
          One of the "biggies" that stays on my mind is that I am
     thoroughly disgusted with the way the Government has handled the
     Agent Orange issue and shortchanged the Viet Nam Veterans.  This
     is what has prompted me to write a letter to President George Bush
     seeking his assistance in helping Veterans that may have been
     exposed to Agent Orange.  You see, although I feel that
     "radicalism" may have it's place in many circumstances, I don't
     think that this issue is ready for that approach.  I read a
     statistic just the other day that pointed out the fact that one
     out of every six home mortgages in this country are backed by the
     Veterans Administration.  Since you have to be a Veteran to get VA
     backing of a home loan, it is obvious just how large a portion of
     the population is comprised of Veterans.  Theoretically, if you
     talk to just five non veterans we can reach the vast majority of
     our voting population.  It is very plain that if all Veterans
     agree on just a few issues we can hit them where it really hurts
     them.
     
          Congress is again seeking a pay raise that will increase
     their pay from $85,000 per year to $127,000 per year.  I think
     that this is obscene when you consider the way they have done
     their foot dragging on the Agent Orange issue.  Then too, the
     amount of their requested pay raise is more than most Veterans
     even earn in a year's time.  Congress found out the last time
     around that the people can speak in force and they proved that
     yes, the almighty Congress listens to the people, at least for the
     time being.  Do you see what I am getting at?
     
          If all veterans united and spoke out on any one issue, then
     there would be sufficient numbers to force Congress and the
     Government to do what ever we reasonably requested.  We can do
     that and it is imperative that we do.  Veterans that were exposed
     to Agent Orange are running out of time.  They are now middle aged
     and many are dying from cancer and afflicted with other ills due
     to their service in Viet Nam.  They need medical care now while
     there is still a chance that something can be done to help them.
     After the fact settlements to survivors twenty years from now will
     not help the Veterans.   Now if Congress was doing their jobs as
     they should I don't think many Veterans would have any objection
     to giving them a reasonable pay raise.  After all, we are the ones
     that have that power and authority in the final analysis.  It is a
     shame that Viet Nam Veterans have been treated the way they have
     when it comes to the Agent Orange issue.
     
     
     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  4
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

          Now I have no idea if my letter to President Bush will get
     any results but I do know that united we can get what we want.  I
     am asking each and every one of you reading this to join in and
     help the cause.  Don't agree or disagree with me, just pitch in to
     help.  You have my permission to publish this article and my
     letter to President Bush in any publication, as long as they are
     both published together and remain in the original unedited form.
     We should tell Congress that so long as they continue to drag
     their feet on the Agent Orange issue we will "JUST SAY NO" when it
     comes time to approve their pay raises and again when it comes
     time to go back to the voting polls.  That's the ticket
     folks.....hit em where it really hurts!
     
         Here is what I am asking you to do.     First, make several
     copies (at least 10) and have your friends and neighbors sign 2 of
     them.  Second, send one copy to your Congressman and the other to
     the White House.  This won't cost you much at all.  This course of
     action should create a virtual flood of letters of support for
     immediate action on the Agent Orange issue.  The trick is though,
     you have to DO IT NOW....Go ahead and start printing as soon as
     you are finished reading this article!  Third, please attempt to
     get this article and my letter to President Bush published in your
     local newspaper or any newsletter or magazine that you can.  This
     is very important!  The more people that we can get this to, the
     more support we will get.  If you are reading this in a newspaper
     or elsewhere, please tear this article out, sign it, and send it
     to your Congressman.  While you are at it, photocopy several for
     your friends to do the same.
     
          We can do it folks!  Don't do this for me, do it for
     yourselves and your brother and sister Veterans.  After all, were
     it not for our Veterans you could very well now be living under
     communist or dictatorial rule.  If it were not for our Veterans
     you could very well be living in poverty.  It does no good to
     gripe about what our Government owes us when we fail to help
     ourselves.
     
          Let's make this a Veteran's Day to be remembered for years to
     come.  Let's make this a Veteran's Day that started a flood of
     support that showed Congress and the Government just where we
     stand and that yes.....We do know how to hurt them in the worst
     way.  We do not have to resort to violence or radicalism to get
     what is rightfully ours, but rather "we can and will" resort to
     the good old American way and work within the system.  So in
     leaving you, I urge you one more time......DO IT NOW!
     













     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  5
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

     
                            "A Soldier Known But to God"
                                By: Jim Hildwine
                                    NAM VET's Federal Benefits Editor
                                    Washington Zephyr BBS
                                    (703) 620-5418
     
     In 1921, an American Soldier - his name "known but to God" - was
     buried on a Virginia hillside overlooking the Potomac River and
     the city of Washington.  The Arlington National Cemetery burial
     site of this unknown World War I soldier became the personi-
     fication of dignity and reverence for America's veterans.
     
     Ceremonies occurred earlier in England and France, where an
     "Unknown Soldier" was buried in each nation's highest place of
     honor (in England, Westminster Abbyey; in France, the Arc De
     Triomphe).
     
     These memorial gestures all took place on November 11 at 11
     a.m.,  November 11, 1918 (the 11th hours of the 11th day of the
     11th month).  The day became know as "Armistice Day."
     
     Armistice day officially received its name in America in 1926
     through a Congressional resolution.  It became a national
     holiday 12 years later by similar congressional action.
     
     If the idealistic hope had been realized that World War I was
     "The War to end all Wars," November 11 might still be called
     Armistice Day.  But shortly after the hoilday was proclaimed,
     World War II broke out in Europe and shattered the dream.
     Sixteen-and-a-half million Americans took part.  Four hundred
     and six thousand died.  The families and friends of these dead
     longed for a way to honor their memory.
     
                       "To Honor Veterans of All Wars"
     
     An answer to the delemma of how to pay tribute to those who had
     served in this latest, great war came in a proposal made by
     Repesentiative Edwin K. Rees of Kansas: Change Armistice Day to
     Veterans Day, and make this an occasion to honor those who have
     served America in all Wars.
     
     President Eisenhower, in 1954, signed the bill proclaiming
     November 11 as Veterans Day, and he called for Americans
     everywhere to rededicate themselves to the cause of peace.
     
     On May 30, 1958, two more unidentified American war dead were
     brought to Arlington Cemetery from overseas and interred in the
     plaza beside their Comrade of World War I.  One was killed in
     World War II, the other in Korea.  A law passed in 1973 provided
     for the interment of an unknown American who lost life in
     Southeast Asia during the Vietnam era.  For several years no
     qualifiying remains were discovered so a memorial plaque was
     placed in the Amphitheater's Memorial Display Room.  On Memorial
     Day 1984, however, the Unknown Serviceman from that conflict was
     placed "In Honored Glory" alongside his fellow countrymen.
     
     To honor these men, symbolic of all Americans who gave their
     lives in all wars, an Army honor guard, the 3d United States
     
     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  6
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

     Infantry (The Old Guard) keeps day and night vigil at the
     tombsite.
     
                       "Date Too Significant to Change"
     
     A law passed in 1968 changed the national commemoration of
     Veterans Day to the fouth Monday in October.  It soon became
     apparent, however that November 11 was a matter of historic and
     patrotic significance to a great number of our citizens. 
     Congress, therefore, enacted legislation (Public Law 94-97)
     which returned the observance of this speical day to its
     traditional date beginning in 1978.
     
                      "Once belonged to Robert E.  Lee"
     
     The focal point for ceremonies conducted by the Veterans Day
     National Committee continues to be the Arlington Memorial
     Amphitheather built around the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington
     National Cemetery.  The site, established in 1864 is now
     operated by the Department of Defense, lies on property that
     once belonged to General Robert E.  Lee.
     
     At 11am on Veterans Day a combined color guard reresenting
     all military services honors the UNKNOWNS by executing "present
     Arms" at the Tomb.  The Nation's tribute to its war dead is
     symbolized by the laying of a Presidental wreath.  The bugler
     sounds "Taps."  The balance of the ceremony, which includes a
     brief address, takes place at the Amphitheater.
     
     Veterans Day ceremonies at Arlington and elsewhere in the Nation
     are coordinated by the President's Veterans Day National
     Committee.  Chaired by the Secretary, Department of Veterans
     Affairs, the group has an executive committee which includes
     representatives of eighteen national veterans organizations
     chartered by Congress.  The remaining members represent other
     national veterans' service associations.
     
     (Taken from the Veterans Day Guide provide by the Dept Vet
     Affairs)
     



















     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  7
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

                   YOU BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY I AM!
     
                       Input by: G. Joseph Peck
                                 NAM VET's Managing Editor
                                 VETLink #1  Pittsfield, MA
                                 (413) 443-6313
     
     The following letter appeared in the April, 1989 edition of
     THE VETERAN - a publication of Vietnam Veterans of America:
     
     Dear Editor...
        In the January 1989 VETERAN, Kenneth R. Fuhrmann wrote a
     letter that clearly expresses the feeling shared by probably
     over 90 percent of Vietnam veterans.  Being a proud Vietnam
     veteran is something we can all feel WITHOUT having to feel
     guilt, or suffering from PTSD, or going into fits of rage, or
     being divorced (and blaming it on our Vietnam experience), or
     hating the VA, or being unemployed, or incarcerated, or
     homeless.  All of these are true for some Vietnam veterans.
     But there are many MORE of us who have been able to cope with
     our traumatic combat experiences and who are active,
     contributing American citizens, husbands, fathers, and members
     of our communities.
     
        Truthfully, many of us are very tired of the image of the
     Vietnam veteran as a homeless, alcoholic, wife-beating "Rambo."
     Most of us went to Vietnam as proud Americans, served as proud
     Americans, returned "home" as proud Americans, and today are no
     less proud than we ever were.  One reason so many Vietnam
     veterans would not (and many still will not) admit they served
     in Vietnam might be because they did not (and do not) WANT to be
     associated with an image that does not fit them.  They are no
     less proud than anyone else who served, and it makes me ill that
     they are often not accepted as "real" Vietnam veterans simply
     because they have chosen to dress in neat clothes, do not drink
     alcohol or talk about war memories that still hurt, are not tall
     and slim anymore, or fit into anybody's mold of how they should
     act or be.  They went to war as individuals who were not going
     to let their agemates fight, and bleed, and die alone.  They are
     Vietnam veterans in the finest tradition, and their quest for
     individuality has never changed.
     
        Most people would not guess that I am a Vietnam veteran.  I
     am not tall, and I still can put on the same uniform I wore when
     I was commissioned at the age of 19.  No, I was not there very
     long, three months and 21 days in all, but I spent over three of
     the next five years in the hospital "being fixed up."  I am
     retired, and I am rated 100 percent disabled because of my
     wounds.  My little brother was killed in Vietnam with four or
     five of his men in May 1970, and my father spent four tours in
     Vietnam.  Am I a proud Vietnam veteran?  You bet your sweet
     bippy I am.
     
        Vietnam was a million-dollar experience I would not pay a
     nickel to repeat, but I think about it 20 or 30 times a day.  I
     remember my tour in Vietnam with pride and honor, not with guilt
     and shame.  Nobody likes war, and I wish there never was a
     Vietnam WAR, but there was, and I hold my head high in honor of
     my friends who gave their lives so other soldiers could live.
     
     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  8
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

     
        A couple of years ago, I read that one out of four helicopter
     pilots did not survive.  I am proud to have served with these
     men and the 58,000 who gave their lives so bravely.
     
        Like Kenneth Fuhrmann said, let's have more articles about
     the Vietnam veteran who has "regrouped" and has been able to fit
     back into the community.
     
                                James P. Meade, Jr., Ph.D.
                                San Diego, California
     















































     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page  9
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989



     =================================================================
                            M i s s i n g ! ! !
     =================================================================

                        Two Kinds of American Hero
     
                       From: The Wall Street Journal
                             July 5, 1989
                         By: Stephen T. Banko, III 
                             Decorated Vietnam veteran from
                             Buffalo, New York
     
            As reprinted in VVA 351's 8/89 Chapter Newsletter
     
                             Input by: G. Joseph Peck
                                          NAM VETs Managing Editor
                                          VETLink #1  Pittsfield, MA
                                          (413) 443-6313
     
       The final democracy of death has provided 2 departed souls with 
     eternal  equality in recent months.   One was the world's  oldest 
     Yippie, Abbie Hoffman.   The other was Col.  James Nicholas Rowe, 
     who spent five years in a North Vietnamese prison camp.
     
       Mr.  Hoffman  died  by  his own hand and attracted  a  ream  of 
     newsprint   attention   and  miles  of  videotaped  eulogies   on 
     television stations across the country.   The media's fascination 
     with  Mr.  Hoffman  was a result,  no  doubt,  of  Mr.  Hoffman's 
     fascination with the media.
     
       And  when he died of a drug overdose earlier this year,  he was 
     recalled  by Mike Royko of the Chicago Tribune as a loveable guy, 
     something  akin  to a playful puppy who is nice to pet but  still 
     does  dirt on your best Oriental rug.   Mr.  Royko said that  Mr. 
     Hoffman  was just having a little fun with America,  just joshing 
     and  tweaking  the country's collective nose with his  outrageous 
     behavior.  Mr. Royko said the nation would sorely miss Abbie.
     
       But  now  every  nose  in America in those  crazy  days  needed 
     tweaking.   A  lot of 17,  18 and 19 year old noses needed wiping 
     and other Americans went to Vietnam to take care of that chore.
     
       One  of them was Col.  Rowe.   In pre-60's America,  Col.  Rowe 
     might have been considered a hero.  He graduated from West Point, 
     became  one  of  the nation's elite Special Forces  and  went  to 
     Vietnam  as an adviser in 1963.   He was in Vietnam for 3  months 
     when  he  was  captured  by  the  Viet  Cong  after  a  ferocious 
     firefight.  He spent the next 5 years i prison camps, coping with 
     starvation, disease,  torture and thirst -  23 of those months in 
     complete isolation in a box with a 21-inch screen, Col.  Rowe was 
     confined  in a bamboo cage,  three feet by four feet by six feet.  
     Delicacies were the meat he could capture in the form of rats and 
     snakes  that  ventured  too  close to his  cage.   Three  of  his 
     comrades died of starvation while in captivity.
     
       But worse than the physical isolation of the prison routine was 
     the emotional isolation inflicted by Col.  Rowe's captors.   They 
     showed   him  newspaper  photographs  of  teenagers  burning  the 
     American  flag  in  the  shadow of the  Washington  Monument  and 
     
     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page 10
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

     college campuses sporting the flag of the Viet Cong.
     
       He  escaped  three times,  only to be recaptured.   After  each 
     failed attempt, he was severely beaten in retribution.   Finally, 
     on his way to his own execution on New Years Eve, 1968, Col. Rowe 
     escaped  when  the execution detail was surprised by a flight  of 
     American helicopters.
     
       Nick Rowe was an intense,  soft-spoken man of firm convictions.  
     None  of  those  convictions were stronger than his love  of  his 
     country.   His  years of captivity and deprivation had not robbed 
     him  of  his  sense of humor.   In 1983,  speaking at  a  Vietnam 
     veterans  luncheon in Buffalo,  NY,  Col.  Rowe was served  rice.  
     "Could  I  speak with the man responsible for today's  menu?"  he 
     asked,  flashing his Texas grin.   "I want to know if he worked a 
     POW camp in Phuoc Long."
     
       Col.  Rowe's  speech  that  day never made  the  nightly  news.  
     Perhaps  it was his subject matter.   For he spoke not of hate of 
     war or killing,  but of love:  love of his country,  love of God, 
     and love of his comrades-in-arms.  He spoke in hushed tones about 
     suffering  and  the  price of his love.   He spoke  with  a  deep 
     conviction  and quiet confidence that radiated through the packed 
     room.   Anyone  there that day in 1983 knew he was in the company 
     of a true hero; not the comic book, hyperbolized heroism of Rambo 
     and  Norris and Schwartzenegger,  but heroism in the tradition of 
     real people with real feelings and real courage.
     
       On  April  21,  the Philippine communists did  what  Vietnamese 
     communists  had  been  unable  to do:   They  killed  Nick  Rowe, 
     assassinating him as he drove to work, still on active duty.
     
       Abby Hoffman and Nick Rowe, two men on two different paths; one 
     to  fame  and fortune and the other to duty and  sacrifice.   One 
     death   stylized  in  print  and  videotape,   the  other   death 
     commemorated  by  the  mournful  notes  of  "Taps"  at  Arlington 
     National Cemetery.  It's strange how we pick our heroes.
     





















     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page 11
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

     
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                       " Bring them home --- NOW !!! "
     












     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page 12
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989



     =================================================================
                T o u c h i n '   W h e r e   W e   L i v e
     =================================================================

                                   Dear Dad
                                   by: Lindy Harris
                                       Friends BBS  Omaha, NE
                                       (402) 896-2669
     Dear Dad,
     
     It's that time of year again when we all think of you and miss
     you so much. Holidays of any sort should be happy, but there
     is one holiday that tears my heart to pieces and it isn't one
     of our national holidays.  The Celebration of TET is one of
     sorrow and grief for us.
     
     I was only 6 years old when you left for Vietnam, and 10 when
     it dawned on me that you wouldn't be coming back, I felt so
     lost and abandoned.  Mom took things pretty hard, and Chet and
     I had to sort of take over things for awhile.  Mom is okay, and
     as I've grown up I've come to understand that it was her that
     had the tough time to begin with.  Chet's and mine came later
     when we understood what death meant.  We are all okay, until
     TET comes around and then we all go into a spin.  We finally
     made the trip to The Wall, and seeing your name there gave me
     a feeling of having known you much longer than I did.  I saw
     the other names that were there on the day you died, so I know
     you weren't alone.  I can only pray that you did not suffer,
     and that you've found the peace you fought for.
     
     We wanted to leave a letter at The Wall, but all we could do
     was do was cry. What's The Wall, you ask?  It's the most
     beautiful and yet the saddest monument that has ever existed.
     The war in Vietnam was so dark and tragic, and the monument,
     nay,the Memorial which every NamVet calls "The Wall," is also
     dark and tragic. It's a black slash in the earth made of black
     marble that carries the names of all the men and women Killed
     In Action. When we walked, stopped, cried and cried and went
     on to the next panel, there were more tears. A man walked up
     to us and asked if there was a name on the wall that belonged
     to us.  We told him yes, and when he found out you were a
     Marine and the outfit you were with, he asked us to wait about
     an hour while he looked up a buddy that might have known you.
     His buddy arrived and although he couldn't remember you
     specifically, he told us what it was like and how we had WON
     the Tet Offensive!
     
     Each of us have mourned your death in our own way and it took
     awhile to get our lives to settle down to a modest roar at all
     the injustices that went on during the years of the Vietnam
     War era.  Things are looking up for all of us now, and I'd
     like to tell you about everything that's happened to us, but
     I'll try to be brief, at least this time.
     
     Chet?  Well, I think you would be very proud of your son.  He
     graduated last year form M.I.T., and will be joining the
     Marines as soon as he has his bills paid. (He owes Mom a
     bundle!) I don't think it will take too long.  Mom says he has
     one of your questionable traits of character, he is either
     
     NAM VET Second Anniversary Edition                        Page 13
     Volume  2, Number  1                            November 11, 1989

     going full bore for something or other he wants badly, almost
     a workaholic, and won't quit until it's perfect, or he sits on
     his duff "thinking".  I don't have time to sit for very long,
     but I wish a bit of the drive he inherited from you had rubbed
     off on me.
     
     Mom remarried last April, and Don is a fine man.  Mom is happy
     and he treats all of us wonderfully. And he is one heck of a
     fisherman, which I thought you might like to know.
     
     Me?  It's a difficult thing to try and tell you what's going on
     in my life.  I met, fell in love with a man that was sort of
     like what I remembered about you, and married him.  I kept
     comparing him with what little I remembered about you, and
     what Chet and mom told me over the years, and it's pointless
     to say he wasn't a bit like you.  When we both discovered what
     the problem was, we ended a miserable marriage.  We have been
     friendly most of the time, and share equal custody of our two
     beautiful children.  How I would love to have you see them, even
     though I can't quite see you as a grandfather.  You were my
     dad, and I still have my childs vision of you.  Our kids know
     a lot about you, since we drag out all the movies, photos and
     tapes you sent to us from Vietnam, plus the movies the whole
     family were in while you were with us.  We do that at least
     once a year when we manage to get the whole Corps in the same
     city and house.
     
     We've all been watching Tour of Duty, which is a television
     program that is trying to tell us what it was like in Vietnam,
     and though it's a dramatization, most of the NamVets I've
     talked to says it comes close.  It's a great deal different
     than the war we saw on the nightly news on television.  It's
     frightening to get a glimpse of what happened over there to
     you and your buddies.  We have tried to understand what
     happened to us as a Nation during the 60's and 70's, but I
     think you would like to know that America has finally got it's
     act together and is recognizing that the War in Vietnam that
     took you and thousands of others from us, is finally over and
     that the healing is taking place.
     
     I'm back in school again, after putting my dreams on hold
     while I tried and failed to be mother, wife and wage earner.
     Making ends meet isn't the easiest thing to do, but I'm in the
     upper 10% of my class and I'll be getting my degree and
     graduate in June.  Mom and Don help with the children, and
     it's amazing how things have fallen into place at last.  All
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