HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: lefty@apple.com (Lefty)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: flaming
Date: 15 Sep 92 22:52:53 GMT
Organization: Our Lady of Heavy Artillery

In article <1992Sep11.172257.11673@news.iastate.edu>,
tzau4@isuvax.iastate.edu wrote:
> 
> flame the newbes and there wont be any!

This is clearly untrue.  We operated under this hypothesis for quite a
while, but there is apparently an endless supply of newbies.

I personally suspect that newbies are the first symptom of the Imminent
Heat Death of the Universe [tm].

--
Lefty (lefty@apple.com)
C:.M:.C:., D:.O:.D:.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: Short Shameful Question.
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 14:07:47 GMT

In article <1992Sep15.131049.10004@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mbur@nyx.cs.du.edu (MAC) writes:
>In article <6244@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>>What was that address for Craig Shergold again?
>
>Who is Craig Shergold?

Craig Shergold is my friend.
--scott
From: psg+@pitt.edu (Paul S Galvanek)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Date: 8 Sep 92 19:11:29 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

In article <pjlkr7o@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>
>The problem is that I feel guilty about them.  I read
>the stories about the California budget.  I read about
>welfare cuts and school funding cuts.  I think about
>California's crumbing highways and homeless people with
>drug-resistant TB.  And I think about my expensive speakers.
>And I wonder if I should do something else with that money.
>
>But it's my money.  And Lance's old B&O speakers are lacking
>somewhat on the high end, though they sound a hell of a lot
>better when driven by my Adcom amp than by his consumer
>electronics shit.  And I listen to music almost continuously.
>
>Materialism versus social responsibility.
>      Music versus politics.



Think of it this way c.j.  if you buy the speakers then years from now you'll
still be able to enjoy your music and have a fine piece of quality hand made
equipment to show for your money and you've helped some poor slob in the speaker
company employed..

If you give you money to the poor they'll only do something like buy food with 
it and in a weeks time it all end up as so much shit spilling into an already
over burden public sewage plant.  That can only lead to more dagame to the 
world's fresh water supply and the decomposing waste produces methane which
adds to the greenhouse problem and in the end your feeble attempt to help the
poor is just one more blow to the environment and the people you helped feed
are all hungry again.

So you see buying the speakers is the socially responsible thing to do!

PSG
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Koschei the Deathless)
Subject: Re: The Temptation of Saint Anthony
Followup-To: alt.pez
Organization: The International House of Secretions
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 21:48:28 GMT

In article <MJD.92Sep14002535@saul.cis.upenn.edu> mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Mr. Midshipman Hornblower") writes:
*I'd really like to have a Pez dispenser with my own head on it.

But then when you'd try to eat any, they'd fall out the hole in your neck.


Mark "And blood would drip down the handle" Lippert 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: josh@cqs.washington.edu (Josh Hayes)
Subject: Re: The Moral of The Story
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 16:25:56 GMT

rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Michael Rigler) murmurs:

>James Smyton laboriously types in:
>> [...that delightful old "foo shits wear it" joke...]

>James...dear James.  Sweet, dear little James...

>Jim.

> [graphic description omitted]

Not the jugular, Mike. That would just ooze a lot. You want
the carotid artery. Pierce that sucker juuuuust right and you'll
get a jet of blood TWELVE FEET IN THE AIR. Trust me on this; I
used to teach anatomy until that unfortunate incident with the
nursing student and the cadaver and the blunt probe and the big
vat of formalin ooooOOOOOOooo lovely.

doctor


--
Josh Hayes, Quantitative Sciences HR-20 U of Washington
josh@mowgli.cqs.washington.edu             206 685-2793
Exclaimer: Hey!           Plan: Birth School Work Death
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,aus.flame
From: act@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops)
Subject: Re: DAC, DAC, DAC and when you thought it done more DAC
Organization: University of Canberra, Camaroon
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 92 23:37:45 GMT

(Andrew Clayton) quote plonks unquote:

>Young Cyclops - a dipstick I'm sure
>likes to suck on the festering sores
>      of the roadside remains
>      oozing pus, shit and brains
>made from animal roadkill, and bores.

Whenever the going gets tough
Poor DAC runs off at the muff
His sailor like language
Does certainly manage
To sound like an onion'y fluff.

OR

When the demand is to be clever
Ole DACCY poo's lost his lever
Of verses inane
In poetry vain
To the killfile he goes forever

><fucking big *plonk*>

Self abusive plagiarisation.

  

act@csc.canberra.edu.au       ceteris paribus
Look Once...         .-)      
   Look TwEyece..    .-) .-)       
      Half See...    .-)         
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:30130 alt.non.sequitur:68 alt.cascade:1888
From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.non.sequitur,alt.cascade
Subject: Re: This Group Is Perfect For Deep Thoughts
Date: 15 Sep 92 02:03:31 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <1992Sep14.023713.8096@tc.cornell.edu> mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh) writes:
>In article <Sep14.021145.78760@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU> arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith) writes:
>>Defending Kumquats and Kiwi Fruit are noble pursuits.
>
>ALL RIGHT, YOU! I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT THIS TIME! 
>
>The next time any mention is made of Kiwi and/or any of its/her derivatives,
>you are going to be in some SERIOUS TROUBLE with the moderators of alt.kiwi.
>How many times do I have to stress how absolutely important it is to
>stay in between our agreed-upon lines, laid down in the charters of
>alt.kiwi, alt.kiwi.d, alt.kiwi.binaries.pictures, and (the newly created)
>rec.sport.kiwi? Go back and read the FAQ, my friend. You have some
>serious catching up to do; I reccommend the command 'g news.answers'
>at this point, followed by 'q' and then a 'Pnews' to alt.kiwi with a 
>prudent and timely reply/apology. 
>
>What is it with these guys from Colorado anyway?
>
I wonder if it's possible to genetically engineer Kiwi birds so they can fly 
again?
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:29475 alt.fan.letterman:628
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: Ghostly Images (was Re: Letterman Qoutes
From: mcirvin@husc8.harvard.edu (Mcirvin)
Date: 9 Sep 92 22:17:50 GMT
 <1992Sep7.171537.20865@tamsun.tamu.edu> <1992Sep8.105432.10684@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> <1992Sep9.161522.20325@cs.cornell.edu>

glazer@cs.cornell.edu (Scott Mathew Glazer) writes:

>Recently (I hate to say it) Late Night has started to seem more like a 
>(shudder) Talk Show than a comedy piece.  Maybe Dave's just slacking off
>in his (rumured) final days with NBC, though.

Best line in last night's show:

Paul Reiser: "It's your show."
Dave:        "But for how long?"

Audience applauds.
-- 
Matt McIrvin, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: SSC
Date: 11 Sep 92 20:01:17 GMT
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

I like to finger people repeatedly after I send them email to I can see their
"unread mail" message change.

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"Don't fight it--it's over your head."
Current Album--King Crimson:The Compact King Crimson
Current Read--Robert Heinlein:The Past Through Tomorrow
From: elambert@qualcom.qualcomm.com (Eber Lambert)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Thanks CJ
Date: 14 Sep 92 18:53:28 GMT
Organization: Qualcomm, Inc., San Diego, CA

Re: Dobson on Fems

Just a thought but it seems to me that by encouraging Lesbianism
society would reduce the number of abortions. 

X-rated movies would also improve.

eel
 
---------
" Abortion must be murder so we'll send our troops to war,
  peace comes thru smart bombs, to make me rich you must be poor"
  .........Cheesefoot.......
  ............................................................
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.flame,aus.flame
From: richh@netcom.com (richh)
Subject: DAC limerick fest--please continue
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 92 19:01:58 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Followup-To: alt.flame




In article <XAcGr*660@prolix.apana.org.au> dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton) writes:
>In article <1992Sep14.021656.16476@cs.rose-hulman.edu>, persimmon writes:
>
>> 
>> In article <78xn29-.richh@netcom.com> richh@netcom.com (richh) writes:
>> > There once was an Aussie named Dac,
>    Self-abusing, Onanist smack,
>etc. etc.
>
>Persimmon and Houghton see Richh,
>that consummate talk.bizarre bitch
>    preen, curtsey, and wave
>    whilst proffering a stave  
>begging clues in the form of tristich. 
>

Hmmm.

Dac, you pathetic, flatulent cow,
Gangrenous goblet of ciao
   You invent the word 'tristich'
   One assumes you mean 'triptych',
But that's not what you mean anyhow.

Oh DAC,
just a few things:

1.  I'm not quite sure what your logic was in mentioning me in your 
original "haiku", but I'm kinda glad you did, because it means Lindsa(e?)y'll
start in on you soon, and that's always a fest.

2.  I told you how to do this before, but apparently you got confused.
There's a group called 'control'.  Post to it, but include in the header the
line Control:  newgroup aus.bizarre.  You might even want to try restricting
the distribution to aus.  So now you can just copy all the stuff you
seem to adore here in tb and post to to ab and be worshipped as the 
mewling pusillanimous toadwart you know you are.  
If you still can't figure out how to create the group, just ask Roger.
He'll be happy to.


3.  A 'tristich' is a three-line poem.  A limerick is not a tristich.
Persimmon's entry was not a tristich.  If anything a 'tri-stitch' is what
your mom used when she sewed your name on labels into all your underwear
before sending you off to school.

3.  In 1852 a man named Peter Mark Roget wrote a little something I like
to call a thesaurus.  Get one.  Trust me.  "Tristich"??  Moron.  Spelling
and grammar *do* count, despite Roger's posts.  Tristich.  

4.  Read over the limericks again.  Note how much better mine is than
yours.

5.  Your turn.

RICHH
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.sex,alt.non.sequitur,alt.whine
From: mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh)
Subject: Re: My life
Organization: Cornell Theory Center
Date: Wed, 16 Sep 1992 01:42:38 GMT

In article <92259.211324JMC159@psuvm.psu.edu> <JMC159@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>You know, my best friend April decided that I am not good enough for her and
>then she stole my diary and let other people read it and then she spread rumors
>about me to everybody and then she told lies about me and then she "forgot" to
>say thank you for the birthday present I bought her then she didn't even buy me
>one and then she told my old boyfriend that I burned all the stuff he bought me
>and then she left for college and then I never saw her again.  I'm so glad the
>bitch is gone.

I think this, in itself, carries enough clout to warrant the creation of
alt.masturbation. Who wants to send the control message?

mdw

-- 
Matt Welsh    mdw@tc.cornell.edu        +1 607 253 2737
Systems Programmer, Cornell Theory Center
  "I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!!"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.prose,alt.butt.harp,rec.puzzles,bit.listserv.words-l
From: richh@netcom.com (richh)
Subject: RICHH:  PLOOK!
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 92 20:23:33 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Followup-To: alt.prose.d

     
     Was drinking at Paul's bar the other day when I scribbled out
this series on a napkin:

1
11
21
1211

It's called The Gleichniszahlen-Reihe Monster, which is German for
"the likeness sequence", I believe.  I heard of it from a local
netter.  Well, I haven't stumped Paul with one of these yet so I
asked him what the next line in the series was.  He looked it over,
mixed me up a 'Purple Hooter'(his creation:  a kamikaze w/Cambered
instead of lime juice and just a little sour mix--an amazing shot)
and looked it over for a bit.
     "It's not normal, is it?"  he said.
     "No--"
     "Oh, I got it," he said.
(Hit 'M' then 'N' now if you care to figure it out on your own. 
It's really not all that tricky.)


     "Okay, what?"
     He said, "Kinda neat.  One.  One one.  Two ones.  One two and
one one.  Next line's one one, one two, two ones--111221."
     "Hey--I guess I owe you a shot."
     He did his hooter and grabbed a waiter.  "Hey Mike, look at
this.  What's the next line in the series?"
     Mike walked away with the napkin and came back an hour or so
later waving it proudly.
     "*I* got it," he said.  
     "Let's see."
     He put down the napkin which had all sorts of heiroglyphs
scribbled down and crossed out on it. On the back side, it read:
1
11
21
1211
PLOOK
     Paul and I just looked at each other.
     "Plook!"
     After we stopped laughing, we asked him why he wrote down
'Plook' right there.
     "It just seemed to fit."
     And you know, you really can't argue with that, so Paul mixed
up a pitcher of purple hooters and we got drunk with the manager.

RICHH
--plook!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio)
Subject: Re: Birthright Party '92 feeler
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 17:33:55 GMT

---
I'm so sorry for taking this seriously.  But here I go.
I suggest the following changes in Kent's platform:

1. A flat tax is regressive.  Rethink this.
2. Legalize all drugs.  Yank all gov't subsidies for
   drug manufacturers (like tobacco companies).  Tax 'em.
3. Put the army to work building highways, bridges, and
   mass transit, teaching in schools, and caring for the
   nat'l forests.  Infrastructure, infrastructure!
4. Support an equal rights amendment, one that mentions
   sex & sexual orientation.
5. Make nude male jello wrestling a mandatory manhood ritual.

---
c j silverio
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: tzau4@isuvax.iastate.edu
Subject: Srg Baker
Reply-To: tzau4@isuvax.iastate.edu
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, Iowa
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 00:27:03 GMT

My name is sargent baker and Im going to teach
you the game of warfare!

Yes sir! Yes sir!

Stripped!

You are just a bit like me I said
RIGHT
LEFT
RIGHT 
LEFT

--------------------------------------------------------
Tommy the cat is my name, and i say onto the:
Say baby you wanna lye down with me
say baby do you wanna lay by my side
say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
SAY BABY! SAY BABABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAy!
--------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Koschei the Deathless)
Subject: Short springful confession
Organization: The International House of Secretions
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 02:28:24 GMT


I bought a Slinky(tm) today.  Mite is scared to death of it.


Mark "Alone or in pairs" Lippert 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor,rec.arts.startrek.current,alt.jubjub
From: aph016@cch.coventry.ac.uk (ozzy)
Subject: Re: STAR TREK PRANKS
Organization: Cov. Uni. ABusenet
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 09:58:41 GMT

In article <1992Sep3.174321.15416@bnlux1.bnl.gov> schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder) writes:
>In article <1992Sep2.005801.10161@gucis.cit.gu.edu.au> cweller@gucis.cit.gu.edu.au (Catherine Weller) writes:
>>chenault@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Bill Chenault) writes:
>
>>>	Isn't it convenient for the guest actors that all the alien life
>>>forms that have speaking roles (this excludes tribles, etc) are humanoid
>>>with 1 mouth, two eyes, and a nose?  They also all have human hands.  Does
>>>this mean that humanoid is the perfect life form, or is this just a nice
>>>plot device, like Jorde's (sp?) shades/ visor?
>

I was led to believe that the humanoid form is one of the more adaptable
forms that were around. I suppose you could philosophise the pros and cons
of it, but I'm not.


>Yeah!  Is it too much to ask that the production staff find some
>non-humanoid actors, with two mouths maybe?  This really pisses me off.
>
>Where did all the great non-humanoid actors go, like...uhh...well, how
>about that guy from....hmmmm.  Okay, so I can't recall seeing any right
>off the top of my head, but I'm sure that there were some!
>

how about flipper, lassie or skippie the bush kangaroo, a couple of food
colouring dyes and heavy make up and we've got a non-humanoid alien,
couldnt be simpler could it?

>
>
>-- 
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Gary Schroeder	                |  Warning: prolonged exposure to this
>schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov         |  .sig may cause retinal damage and 
>Brookhaven National Laboratory  |  blistering skin rashes. 


yup
ozzy

-- 
ozzy :)
aph016@uk.ac.cov.cch
From: echeverr@scf.usc.edu (5150)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The Scene (please continue)
Date: 15 Sep 1992 21:14:09 -0700
Organization: <censored>
NNTP-Posting-Host: phakt.usc.edu

Alfvaen writes:
 Rob Dobson writes:
The scene was set. The room was neat and unthreatening. A motet by Josquin
de Pres droned softly in the background. Wilber was ready, now if only
his 'guest' would arrive, he could finally see about unloading that horrible
katana and wakizashi Bunny had left him with.  At the thought of Bunny, his
eyes filled with tears, remembering how he had last seen her--rotting in her
own excrement, humming commercial jingles, and babbling about Dan Rather's
cute tush.

"Hi cutie."  "Hi handsome."  Sustained eye contact.  He said, "Had any

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Subject: Re: flat tires
Keywords: flat indeed.
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 18:18:24 GMT

In article <1992Sep13.002538.484@fcom.cc.utah.edu> PJF writes:
>
>also, did you notice the lack of anything insulting in this post?

No.  I did, however, notice the lack of anything interesting therein,
though only because

(a) you have the same initials as Philip Jose Farmer, and it bugs me

and

(b) I'm trying to decide whether you're worth sullying my shiny new
killfile with yet another hj-line.  Elegance versus practicality.
Beauty versus pain.  These are the things which try geeks' souls.

Maybe if you followed me up with something you thought was clever,
I could make a decision.

c
From: adw3345@ultb.isc.rit.edu (A.D. Williams)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Where are all the newbies?
Date: 13 Sep 92 03:06:34 GMT
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Originator: adw3345@ultb

In article <6219@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>It seems that the much ballyhooed onslaught has failed to materialize.
>By my (admittedly unscientific) survey, the volume of t.b seems to have
>actually decreased of late. By as much as 30-40%.
>What's the trouble?


 They're all over at rec.arts.startrek . I'm sure they'll discover t.b
when they begin to tire and look elsewhere.


                                                           Derrick
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Derrick Williams   Rochester Institute of Technology | Insert snappy  -
- adw3345@ultb.isc.rit.edu     Computer Science        | quotation here -
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: rone@aludra.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Hmmmm
Date: 7 Sep 1992 21:12:58 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu


Who nominated John F. Woods as talk.bizarre's Designated Flamer?


5150
i thought it should be put to a vote
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: something to remember
Followup-To: soc.culture.boorish,soc.culture.lack.utah
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 12:56:56 GMT

> jenine@netcom.com (Jenine Abarbanel) writes:
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>no matter how cool he seems, you're still dealing with
>a male.
>
>j.j, still figuring that one out
>------------------------------------------


rog's new account?!?!?!

o well, all you fuckers from netcom are the same person, one entity,
carrasogooleyrcihhchaosjenine.

nice to meet you carrassogooleyrichhchaosjenine.
charmed, im sure

r

Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:29961 alt.non.sequitur:50 alt.cascade:1853
From: mbrockma@bank.ecn.purdue.edu (Matt Brockman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.non.sequitur,alt.cascade
Subject: Re: This Group Is Perfect For Deep Thoughts
Date: 14 Sep 92 03:45:05 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network

In article <Sep14.021145.78760@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU> arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith) writes:
>In article <1992Sep12.015924.3677@NeoSoft.com> arielle@NeoSoft.com (Stephanie da Silva) writes:
>>In article <HANS.92Sep11105742@ravn.iesd.auc.dk> hans@iesd.auc.dk (Hans Huttel) writes:
>>> donald@sq.sq.com (Donald Teed) writes:
>>> >> hans@iesd.auc.dk (Hans Huttel) writes:
>>> >> But what has that got to do with type inference in a country cottage ?
>>> > Please don't post articles about lipstick to this group.
>>> This must be the worst cricket match I have ever attended. 
>>Excuse me, but is this the way to the Galleria?
>Defending Kumquats and Kiwi Fruit are noble pursuits.
I'm sorry, the bank is closed for remoldeling.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: tzau4@isuvax.iastate.edu
Subject: flaming
Reply-To: tzau4@isuvax.iastate.edu
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, Iowa
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 17:22:57 GMT

I can not believe I got flamed for being a newbe!
My flamer says its an act!
Is that why I cant figure out how the ftp works or Project Vincent
here at ISU? NAhhhhh it must be Im a moron

FUCK YOU!!!!!!

flame the newbes and there wont be any!
From: dlee@aludra.usc.edu (ROGER DAVID CARASSO)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Runaways
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test,talk.bizarre
Date: 14 Sep 1992 19:21:01 -0700
Organization: ROGER DAVID CARASSO
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu

in alt.missing-kids lindae@netcom.com writes:
)
)------ IF YOUR JACKALOPE RUNS AWAY ------
)
)1.  Check with your jackalope's friends, school, neighbors, relatives, or
)anyone else who may know of your jackalope's whereabouts.  Ask them to notify
)you if they hear from the jackalope.
)
)2.  Provide the police with a recent photo of your jackalope.
)
)3.  Make sure your police departmetn enters your jackalope's name and
)description into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) computer.
)This information will NOT give your jackalope a police record, and it may
)aid in his or her safe return.
)
)4.  If your state has a clearinghouse on missing jackaloperen, make sure that
)the police pass on the necessary information about your jackalope to
)the clearinghouse.
)
)5.  If your local police will not enter your jackalope into the NCIC computer,
)the FBI will.  The Missing Jackaloperen Act of 1982 mandates this.  Contact 
)your nearest FBI field office for help.  Remember:  No matter what you
)have been told, there is no law requiring a waiting period for reporting
)the jackalope missing to the police or for entry into NCIC.  Some police
)department procedures may still involve a waiting period; therefore,
)you may have to go to the FBI yourself to get your jackalope entered into
)NCIC.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mneeley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Neeley)
Subject: just curious
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 92 14:15:52 GMT

Why does hair grow faster out of moles than out of
any other area of the body?

	Mark

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre