HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: lm8637@tnessd.sbc.com (Lou Montgomery (214+464-1049))
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Hypocrite Litmus Test
Keywords: Hypocrite, spelling
Date: 11 Sep 92 18:54:31 GMT
Organization: Southwestern Bell

In article <1992Sep8.210024.8981@pbhyg.PacBell.COM> jcnerne@pbhyg.PacBell.COM (Jim C. Nerney) writes:
>
>How do you get a "sniviling hypocrite" to laugh?
>Tell her that Dan Quayle made a spelling mistake.
>
>Speaking of spelling mistakes and hypocrites:
>Does Bill Clinton still spell "America" with a "k"?
>
      Speaking of butt-dumb politicians....

        Heard on the radio today.....

        "They come-up with great technologies like the Patriot missle
        which will go through doors and down chimneys.  We all saw this
        on television."
                                        Gov. Bill Clinton  9-9-92

        I suppose being stupid as squid shit is required to run for
        public orfice these days.
               ^^^^^^

                     Ah ha ha ha ha........,
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mccart@mdd.comm.mot.com (Gary McCartney)
Subject: Re: Names
Reply-To: mccart@MDI.COM
Organization: Motorola, Mobile Data Division - Seattle, WA
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 19:56:29 GMT

What do you call a woman with no arms and one leg?
Eilene

what do you call a japanese woman with no arm and one leg?
Irene
From: cm182s182@pdrome.UUCP (Clayton Miner)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 3 Sep 92 23:25:18 GMT
Organization: The PowerDrome BBS [(716)825-3614 CNet]
X-BBS-Software: EXCELSIOR! v0.95f

Gee, I guess that we all should just curl up with the Good Book, flagelate 
ourselves and have a guilt transfusion.  My god, man/woman/whatever!  Have you 
no sense of humour whatsoever?  I think you are taking things too seriously, 
after all, God him/herself must have a sense of humour to have created a bunch 
of self-indulgent twits like the human race (and I don't want to hear any 
self-molifying mumbo-jumbo about the fall of man, original sin, and the 
evility of tapioca pudding, okay?).  Learn to relax before your arteries 
harden..your attitudes already have but there may be hope for you yet...
 
And now a joke (I hope)...
 
Representatives of three faiths; one Rabbi, one Catholic Priest, and one 
Presbyterian minister are sitting around discussing churchly business.  The 
topic of dividing the collection fairly came up.  The Rabbi proceeded to tell 
the other two that when he went to determine how much to give to the church 
and how much to keep for his own needs he said that he drew a circle on the 
floor and stood inside it with the collection plate.  He then threw the 
contents into the air and anything that landed outside the circle he used for 
the church.  The Catholic Priest remarks that he uses the same method only 
that he uses the donations that land inside the cirlce for godly ends.
"Boy are you two a bunch of pikers", exclaimed the Presbyterian minister, 
"when I throw the collection money anything that stays up there God is welcome 
to!"
 
Skeksis - Presbyterian by upbringing, pagan by inclination
From: tgh3_ltd@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Timothy Gerald Harrnacker)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: My friend's nineteenth birthday
Date: 9 Sep 92 13:58:33 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester (Rochester, NY)

Today is my friend Rena's nineteenth birthday.
Please flood her with all sorts of wierd and sick birthday greetings.
Her e-mail address is rtbm_ltd@uhura.cc.rochester.edu
Many thanks.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: tcurrey@aisg.com (Thomas E. Currey)
Subject: Request for Proctology Jokes 
Reply-To: tcurrey@aisg.com (Thomas E. Currey)
Organization: Accura Innovative Services Inc.
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 92 18:25:34 GMT



Is there a list,  or send them to me and I will make a 
list of Proctology Jokes.

There has got to be something funny about people who stick
their hands up peoples butts for a living.

	Thanks
From: che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Speed of dark
Date: 10 Sep 92 10:20:49 +1000
Organization: Computer Centre, Monash University, Australia

In article <=4rnk4k@lynx.unm.edu>, jfreter@triton.unm.edu (The Myth) writes:
> In article <1992Sep8.192524.6108@seas.gwu.edu> ahmad@seas.gwu.edu (Aftab Ahmad) writes:
>>	Read it in a comics book.
>>Speed of light is 186000 miles/sec. The speed of darkness cannot be measured.
> 
> Well, since light and dark are opposites, and in number theory to some
> opposite means negative whil to others it means reciprocal

No, no, no, no! Dark is not the opposite of light, merely the absence of it!


> 
> the speed of darkness is obviously -1/186000 miles per second.

Do you mean -186000 miles per second?

> 

David B.
From: 01jmbrown@bsu-ucs.uucp
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Pearl Harbour (was Re:Agnostics and Athiests)
Date: 10 Sep 92 00:48:45 GMT

In article <1992Sep7.200406.49637@ccvax.ucd.ie>, wboatclb@ccvax.ucd.ie writes:
> In article <1992Sep6.185842.182694@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, gtr0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (GLEN TORLEIF RYEN) writes:
> 
>>     Over?!?  Nothing is over until we say it is!  Was it over when the Germans
>> bombed Pearl Harbor?
>> 
>>                                 John Belushi (RIP)
>   
> I think the Japanese deserve the credit here. 
> 
> - Rob.

Rob, hurry to your local video store and rent Animal House. You're missin' out.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: d4dodd@student.business.uwo.ca (David Dodd)
Subject: Need Jokes in a Bad Way!
Organization: University of Western Ontario
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 07:53:27 GMT

Help!
If anyone has some jokes about business types, MBA's, etc. please send 
them to me as soon as possible. I am desperate . . . 

Please send to d4dodd@student.business.uwo.ca

Thanks, and here's laughing at or near you.

d4dodd@student.business.uwo.ca (David Dodd)
Western Business School  --  London, Ontario
From: lee@equinox.unr.edu (Lee T Grasseschi)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Bar joke
Date: 4 Sep 92 22:53:19 GMT
Organization: University of Nevada, Reno

A guy goes into a bar and meets a girl.  They talk, they have drinks, one
thing leads to another and they go to his place.  They're getting ready to
make love and the gal says, "There's something you should know about me.  I
have acute angina."
The guy replies, "That's good, because your tits are nothing special."  
-- 
	Lee Grasseschi				Opinions are strictly my own.
	University of Nevada, Reno              Who else is this belligerent?
	Mackay School of Mines
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: st1ns@rosie.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.)
Subject: Re: Proctology
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 02:48:00 GMT

In article <BuJ8A2.Gt1@knot.ccs.queensu.ca>, kirkwood@qucis.queensu.ca (Scott Kirkwood) writes...

>-------------------- kirkwood@qucis.queensu.ca ----------------------



>  YAAAAP - Yet Another Association Against Acronym Proliferation

We of the American Association for the Abolition of Acronym Abuse Regional Group 
Headquarters (AAAAARGH) wish to request that you not post this line in areas which
might be visible to persons using our terminals.  We find the effect on our 
employees to be quite disquieting, indecorous, unproductive and perplexing.  

Thank you.
From: harley@engrhub.ucsb.edu (Hahn)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: R U lokoing for Lydia?
Date: 13 Sep 92 18:06:18 GMT

In article <7294@lib.tmc.edu> drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez) writes:

>There is also an old movie in which a little girl sings this entire song (or
>most of it) to a couple of visitors. I think it might have been "The
>Philadelphia Story", or possibly the inferior musical knock-off "High Society".

It was The Philadelphia Story and the little girl
did not sing nearly the whole song.

The song: Lydia, The Tattooed Lady
was written by E. Harburg with the music by Harold Alden in 1939.

Here is the song as I remember Grocho singing it during his Carnagie
Hall concert.  This is slightly different from the published version.
However, after singing it countless times, Groucho must have made just
those necessary minor adjustments that make the song work best.

[..] a word that Groucho pronounces with an accent
- indicates rhyming anomalies
-- indicates pauses to make lines scan properly

BTW, does anyone know what "Kinkankee" is? 

LYDIA, THE TATTOOED LADY
========================

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, oh have you seen Lydia?
Lydia the tattooed lady
She has eyes that men a-dore so
Even more-so than her tor-so
Lydia oh Lydia, an encyclopedia,
Lydia the queen of tattoo,
On her back is the Battle of Wa--terloo
And also the Wreck of the Hesperus too
And proudly above waves the red, while and blue--
You can loine [learn] a lot from Lydia

La la la - la la la
La la la - la la la

When her robe is unfurled she will show you the world
If you'll stand up and tell-her-where
For a dime you can see Kinkakee [?] or Paree [Paris]
Or Washington crossing the Delaware

La la la - la la la
La la la - la la la

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia?
Lydia the tattooed lady
When her muscles start relaxin'
Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson
Lydia, oh Lydia, an encyclopedia,
Lydia the queen of tattoo
For two bits she'll do a mazurka in jazz
With a view of Niagara like nobody has
And on a clear day you can see Al-catraz--
You can loine [learn] a lot from Lydia

La la la - la la la
La la la - la la la

Come along and see Buff'lo Bill with his lasso
Just a little classic by Mendel Pacasso
Here's Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon
Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on

La la la - la la la
La la la - la la la
La la la - la la la
La la la - la la la

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia?
Lydia the queen of them all
She once swept an admiral clear off his feet
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat--
But now the old boy's in command of the fleet
Cause he went and married Lydia

I said Lydia, I said Lydia
I said Lydia the queen of tatto  Ole!


==== END OF SONG ====

Note: Of course, the whole thing is so terribly
politically incorrect.  After all, there is no reason
to assume that an admiral is a man...

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jwk@sequent.com (John "ECU" Kramer)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Keywords: n
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems Inc.
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 92 23:55:11 GMT

In article <1992Sep11.183543.15676@hou.amoco.com> zcjm0f@wwnv42.uucp (CJohn Mace) writes:
>>>	In case u don't have enough culture, Portugal is that small country
>>>next to Spain, not a region in the USA. 
>>
>maybe we should have let the Germans win the war...  then at least we 
>wouldn't have to listen to this crap...  :-)

How many Americans does it take to tour Europe?

100...1 to read the map, 99 to say "The McDonalds doesn't taste the same"

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: lectro@milton.u.washington.edu (Jonathan E. Maier)
Subject: Re: Grammar
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 05:37:01 GMT

In article <17500168@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> reykja@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Reykja Sigurdsson) writes:
>In rec.humor, bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash) writes:
>> In article <!-ln!8#@lynx.unm.edu>, bantolph@carina.unm.edu (Bard's are
>> the Best) writes:
>> |>	Tis iz fer al u nurdz hoo, Ar stuk oN; kerrrektin gramir? wId diss
>> |>rtikel yoo kIN hav lotz uv funn: an kerect (stuf untle (yer hartz desir@
>> |>may be wile yer Buzy fiksin thiss u wil leve evry litel misteak Thatt 
>> |>apeerz in odder artikels an stopp ANoyiN de resst uv uss wid yer anel 
>> |>retentiv natur! hOO cars iff sumbudy fergot ann a-postrivfe merk sumware.
>> |>
>> |>	IFF ENYBUDY fIKSEZ DIS DEY R HOPLES!
>> |>
>       This is for all you nerds who are suck on correcting grammar. With
                                   stuck--^^^^
>this article, you can have lots of fun and correct stuff until your 
>heart's desire. Maybe while you are fixing this, you will leave everyone 
                              busy--^                     every--^^^^^^^^
>little mistake that appears in other articles and stop annoying the rest
>of us with your anal retentive
>
>       AAAAAAAAA!!!! This borink...

ahem  ;->
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dennis@fnbc.com
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Organization: First National Bank Of Chicago, Chicago IL, USA
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 92 13:47:59 GMT

In article <1992Sep3.023905.20627@u.washington.edu>  
twain@milton.u.washington.edu (Barbara Hlavin) writes:
> In article <1992Aug31.200124.1198@bnlux1.bnl.gov>  
schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov 
> (gary l. schroeder) writes:
> >
> >
> >>(Am I in the right solar system yet?) 
> >
> >Alas, that's a question that I can't answer for you, Barbara.  Which  
one
> >are you in?
> 
> 
> Why, this one, this one... this one right here.  This one, that's a 
> part, a promontory of Europe, or its continent, as that great 
> philosopher de Bergerac said, although maybe not in this century.  The 
> one that, that... it's near Jupiter. 
> 
> Or if not near, not far, either.  
> 
> Or neither.  Whatever. 
> 
> Just what do they teach you kids in geometry these days, anyway?
> 
> 
> --Barbara, just a bird in a bush 

THANK GOD (IF S/HE/IT EXISTS), THAT THE CASCADE IS OVER
--
Dennis D. Box          	|   (312) 732-6329 	| "Its FUN to have fun,
My own opinions, not 	| dennis@fnbc.com      	| but you have to know 
my employers. Your 	| ddb@vpnet.chi.il.us	| how!"   -T. Geisel
reactions may vary. 	|  Kill Your Television.  
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mpetro@brtph126.bnr.ca (Myron Petro P030)
Subject: Re: Hiya
Organization: BNR, Inc. Research Triangle Park, NC
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 15:48:19 GMT

  Humor concerning Physics, actually all undergrad lab courses
 (or how to know which lab class you're in)

 If it's green it's Biology
 
 If it stinks it's Chemistry 

 If it doesn't work it's Physics


 ***************************************************************
 All opinions are mine and mine alone. 
 ***************************************************************

Organization: Sophomore, Math/Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Sat,  5 Sep 1992 21:50:27 -0400 
From: Robert Agustin <ra00+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT DOUBLE SPEAK????
	<1992Sep05.230556.3057@CS.ORST.EDU>

On 05-Sep-92 in Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT DOU..
user Jay Reidy@CS.ORST.EDU writes:
>From: reidyj@CS.ORST.EDU (Jay Reidy)
>Subject: Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT DOUBLE SPEAK????
>Date: 5 Sep 92 23:05:56 GMT
> 
>In article <1992Sep5.090658.42797@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu>
miner@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu 
>writes:
>>In article <1992Sep4.171522.1@orca.alaska.edu>, sxjwg@orca.alaska.edu writes:
>>> Anyone heard of any "politically correct" phrases during this election.
>>> 
>>> I have two for you.
>>> 
>>> Some hospitals call a patient that dies on the operating table:
>>> 
>>> NEGATIVE PATIENT OUTCOME
>>> 
>>> The Pentagon called the Army operation by airborne troops:
>>> 
>>> A PRE-DAWN VERTICAL INSERTION
>>> 
>>> A book by the name DOUBLE SPEAK is supposed full of this stuff. 
Don't know 
>the
>>> author's name though.
>>
>>Author's name is William Lutz (English Dept., Rutgers).  I think he
>>has more than one book out.  Here are some more of his:
>>
>>CHILDREN:
>>When children are bossy they "exhibit leadership charisma."
>>When they misbehave they "engage in negative attention-getting."
>>Reading is "interacting with print."
>>
>>SOCIAL SCIENCE:
>>The elderly are "the chronologically gifted."
>>Retirement homes are "senior congregate living communities for the
>>[yep] chronologically gifted."
>>Retirement homes in California are "disengagement communities."
>>
>>My favorites are:
>>	"revenue enhancement" (tax increase)
>>	"career offender cartel" (mafia organization)
>>
>>I don't call this PC though.  It's just that a lot of people like to
>>pretend that society is essentially clinical.  Scary.
> 
> 
> 
>  Flipping a coin is interacting with a digital decision generator.
> 

Sort of reminds me of a George Carlin HBO special

Shell-Shock becomes "Post Traumatic Disorder Syndrome"
Mental/Physical Retardation becomes "Being Differently Abled"
A manhole cover becomes a "Personhole cover"...
A ladies' man is a "person's person"...
"I'm not Handicapped!  I'm HANDICAPABLE!!!"

Robert

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: lectro@milton.u.washington.edu (Jonathan E. Maier)
Subject: Re: Fun with cats
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 21:08:30 GMT

Hey, I missed these cat posts.  Could someone repost them?  I was just
given a new kitten and would like to have some fun. ;-)

  Jonathan E. Maier             # ## #                lectro@u.washington.edu
 -----------------------------  # ## #  --------------------------------------
  Weekend Operator             ## ## ##              University of Washington
  UCS Operations              ##  ##  ##                  Seattle, Washington
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: v.narinian@ic.ac.UK
Subject: Re: Practical Joke
Organization: Imperial College of Science, Technology and Medicine
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 14:54:05 GMT

>[stuff deleted]
>	What we are attempting to do is have as many keys sent to
>him from different locations as possible. Your help would be 
>deeply appreciated. He knows who's behind the joke and thinks its
>funny, but doesn't know how we're doing it.
>
>	Consequently, we have declared Sept 28, 1992 as 
>		      SEND LEE A KEY DAY!
>To participate, all you have to do is put any old key in an 
>envelope and send it to him with no explanation. We hope that we
>can get all 50 states as well as Canada and several foreign 
>countries. Any other day will work just as well but we would like
>to jam his mail box on one or two days.
>
>[...]
>Your help is appreciated and he will get a big kick out of this.
>						Thanks!!
>						A Friend Of Lee's	

Surely you don't expect us to do it for free, do you? ;-)
From: slz1@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Samuel L Zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: A Religious View of Life
Date: 12 Sep 92 19:38:22 GMT
Reply-To: slz1@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Samuel L Zimmerman)
Organization: Columbia University

In article <1992Sep3.212222.4492@newstand.syr.edu> mary@erc.cat.syr.edu (Mary Papp) writes:
>I don't know if this has been posted before, but this is really funny (or
>so I think it is)...
>
>
>
>                A RELIGOUS VIEW OF LIFE
> 
>Taoism: Shit Happens.
>
>Confucianism: Confucius Say, "Shit Happens."
>
>Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
>
>Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
>
>Hinduism: This shit happened before.
>
>Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
>
>Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
>
>Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
>
>Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
>
>Agnosticism: What is this shit?
>
>Atheism: I don't believe this shit.
>
>
You are missing one of my personal favorites...

Jehova's Witness: Knock. Knock. Shit happens.



*******************************************************************************
Matt Connors, upon arrival at Columbia U.:"Why don't we get a few Super Soakers
   and shoot some people."
Sam Zimmerman: slz1@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu
From: gc2m+@andrew.cmu.edu (Ghim-Sim Chua)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Elephant joke
Date: 6 Sep 92 19:39:23 GMT
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"you breathe through that THING?"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mauax@warwick.ac.uk (Brazil)
Subject: Re: Speed of dark
Organization: Computing Services, Warwick University, UK
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 10:19:58 GMT

In article <=4rnk4k@lynx.unm.edu> jfreter@triton.unm.edu (The Myth) writes:
>In article <1992Sep8.192524.6108@seas.gwu.edu> ahmad@seas.gwu.edu (Aftab Ahmad) writes:
>>	Read it in a comics book.
>>Speed of light is 186000 miles/sec. The speed of darkness cannot be measured.
>
>Well, since light and dark are opposites, and in number theory to some
>opposite means negative whil to others it means reciprocal
>
>the speed of darkness is obviously -1/186000 miles per second.
>


Actually the speed of darkness is 186000 miles per second so obviously light
and darkness are one and the same.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes
From: dos@major.panix.com (Dave O'Shea)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Jokes to offend almost everybody (repost, these aren't my jokes)
Date: Fri, 04 Sep 92 17:26:33 EDT
Organization: Hurts rent-a-dungeon, Inc.

tim@hpdstma.ptp.hp.com () writes:

> Nuke the gay whales!

For Jesus!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: usenet@inesc.pt (USENET News System)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Reply-To: jota@iguana.UUCP (Joao Pedro Martins)
Organization: INESC - Inst. Eng. Sistemas e Computadores, LISBOA, PORTUGAL.
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 14:28:13 GMT

In article <18l5a4INN78s@early-bird.think.com> shaig@Think.COM (Shai Guday) writes:
>Isn't that [Portugal] the country that was almost purchased by Disney for
>use as the European Disney World?  As I recall the deal fell
>through because the Disney people felt that Portugal wasn't
>a good choice - Too many people there running around and shouting
>that they were not American. 

	I answer u the same way Quayle would :

		To your, I only have one word:
			"GO TO HELL"
				:-)
					(This was supposed to remind you of the ridiculous
					 *thing* u have as a VP)

----
 joao Pedro Martins, Lisboa, Portugal - jota@tutor.UUCP
 
 "Carpe Diem, she muttered, and laughed. We seize the day.	
  Well, sometimes, the day seizes back !" (Psychodrome)
From: pv02@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (PETER VOROBIEFF)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: amusing system errors & general brain meltdown
Date: 15 Sep 92 00:36:15 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University


>
>I remember my first DOS-PC saying :                                   
>               "keyboard not connected - press F1 to continue ..."
>

Too many floppies in drive A:

Write read-only memory error
 
            (or vice versa it's even better) -

Read write-only memory error

Mouse found in drive A:
Remove and press any key to continue...

and so on up to:

Invalid user. Replace and press any key to continue...


-- 
Thus spake Kalmoth the Vile, Slayer of the Seven Pigs of the North.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers
From: res@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (Rich Strebendt)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: AT&T
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 23:01:05 GMT
Followup-To: alt.folklore.computers

In article <u734120.716281450@bruny>, u734120@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (John Lamp) writes:
> dos@major.panix.com (Dave O'Shea) writes:
> 
> >peter@taronga.com (Peter da Silva) writes:
> 
> >> Hibberts Law #14:
> >> 
> >> 	When two technologies are competing for the marketplace,
> >> 	the inferior one always succeeds.
> >> 
> 
> >That would explain MS windows, wouldn't it? :)
> 
> And VHS winning over Beta ;->

Actually, I think that the VHS/Beta contest is an example of the rule
that the best marketed/advertized/promoted technology will win,
irrespective of technical merit.  This rule may then lead to the
consequence noted in Law #14, assuming that a technically strong
company is likely to be weak in marketing.

Happily, this latter observation does not apply to my employer!!

					Rich Strebendt
					...!att!ihlpb!res
					r.strebendt@att.com
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Jokes
Date: 15 Sep 92 12:32:48 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

>Here are a few of the many blonde jokes I`ve collected over the last year:
>[whole lot of blonde jokes]
>
>If you've heard of any other ones that aren't on this list, please post them.
>
HOW DOES A BLOND TURN ON THE LIGHT AFTER HAVING SEX?
    She opens the car door.

WHAT IS A BLONDE'S IDEA OF SAFE SEX?
    A padded dashboard.

WHAT DOES A BLOND SAY AFTER HAVING SEX?
    "So, are you guys all on the same team?

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING A BLOND DOES WHEN SHE GETS UP IN THE MORNING?
    Walk home.

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN A BLOND DYES HER HAIR BROWN?
    Artificial intellegence.

I'm sure I have more, I just can't remember them all at once.

    -TMA4@Lehigh.EDU    "Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're
                         not out to get you"