From: anon.29@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: friends and lovers
Date: 10 Jan 1993 08:21:26 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.29@pax.tpa.com.au
NNTP-Posting-Host: flash.pax.tpa.com.au


Is so hard for me to keep remembering the differences.  I feel like I'm
back in 6th grade when I simply *couldn't* get the difference between
friends and girlfriend/boyfriend.  I mean, I knew it wasn't just sex, because
most of the people I knew didn't have sex or even kiss -- and I also knew
grown up people who had sex with friends & they were girlfriend/boyfriend
(or girlfriend/girlfriend or boyfriend/boyfriend)

but I knew that there was a difference, I could never just figure out what it
was.

and I feel that way sometimes now too -- I still don't think I have figured 
it.  Perhaps because I am almost always attracted to and fall in love with
my closest friends.  Usually those friends are either of an inappropriate 
sexual orientation, or inappropriate relationship status (like folks who
are in a monogamous relationship).  

But what about those *Friends* that I am attracted to, that I love, who
love me, who are attracted to me....but we are friends and we aren't sexual
with each other -- and part of me thinks it would probably be a bad idea
for us to be sexual with each other -- but I don't really know -- and I'm
griping here, sorry.

it just really confuses me sometimes.  And I also always have in my mind
that because of having been sexually abused I mix up sex and love a lot.
Like if I love someone that means I must want to have sex with them, and
so I should be happy about having close, loving relationships that arent'
sexual, but sometimes I *want* to have sex with these peoples, and sometimes
they want the same thing with me -- but it doesn't always fit in the situation
and sometimes I don't know if I am just making excuses or what....

shit, I'm sorry I know I'm being really incoherant here, but I FEEL incoherant.

-christina
 _____________________________________________________________________________
 Christina M. Pierce              I    I'm glad to be a woman
 Oberlin College                  I    so glad
 scp8340@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu    I    glad to be alive
 an1691@anon.penet.fi             I    glad for the will to survive
 anon.29@pax.tpa.com.au           I                               -Betsy Rose?
 _____________________________________________________________________________
               I'd rather question my sexuality than not have it.
 _____________________________________________________________________________


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