HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rlm7337@tamsun.tamu.edu (Richard L. Mcmahon)
Subject: Re: And in this corner...uh, where's the corner?
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 00:49:32 GMT

In article <19tua6INNiba@gap.caltech.edu> ajm@wag.caltech.edu (Abner J. Mintz) writes:
>>-John Carney lists his favorite authors:  
>[stuff gone]
>Abner notes:
>>[more stuff gone]
>John Carney continues:
>[ain't you glad I edit this?]
>Yes, and I've read his books, but they're more expanded humor essays about
>a common theme than books with an actual plot.  Not to put down Dave's work,
>which is very good!            
>
>*chuckle*  If Dave Barry were God, he'd probably collaborate with Gary Larson
>and redo the entire universe ...
>
My point is, I don't define a book as having a plot, or even a story.  To me,
and book is a bunch of pages between some kind of cover, and an author is 
whoever wrote all the words on the pages between the covers.  Besides, Dave
Barry has got some books with plots:  The Taming of the Screw, Babies and Other
Hazards of Sex are all I can think of right now.  They're great books too.

>>Mike, give this guy a drink on me...he's thinking too clearly :)
>
>Abner looks over at Mike, who shakes his head.  Both agree that the gag's been
>overused.
>
>"First time I've ever been accused of thinking too clearly, but I'll gladly
>take a mixture of Dr. Pepper and Orange Juice!"
>

Sorry...you gotta remember, I'm new here.  It'll take me awhile to catch up
to the running gags (pun intended..I know, it's cheap humor)
DP and OJ is fine, I take my DP straight tho...

John Carney  (Incarnadine)
Castle BBS
From: seawasp@vm2.cis.pitt.edu (Sea Wasp)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Old Coots Test (was A grinning Nightstalker)
Date: 3 Oct 92 12:19:33 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh
Originator: seawasp@pmax1.cis.pitt.edu

In article <2OCT199220321739@pavo.concordia.ca> se_schn@pavo.concordia.ca [ Ranfry ] writes:
>In article <1992Sep30.003236.5751@ra.msstate.edu>, jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce) writes...
>>   "My first such game was Tunnels and Trolls by Flying Buffalo, about 1977.
>>After i got tired of the solo adventures,

>	Hey, wild, I remember Tunnels and Trolls. Twas a very fun game. Simple

	Yeah, I remember that new game T&T too. It was fun and simple...

>gaming group I gave it up after playing with better ones, such as Role Master, 
>Chivilary and Sorcery, etc.  Now I am working on my Game system, including the

	RoleMaster I could see, but *C&S* BETTER? AAAAUUUGGGGHHH!


                                 Sea Wasp
                                   /^\
                                   ;;;
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mschiffer@engin.umich.edu (Michael S. Schiffer, LHN)
Subject: Re: Cultural Exchange (was Re: Schooling)
Date: Tue, 06 Oct 92 09:51:29 EDT
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations

In article <1992Oct5.225727.8388@ucc.su.OZ.AU> neilb@physics.su.OZ.AU (RiemannZeta(s)) writes:

>Now in order to really stir up some trouble, if that is the case then I
>claim that any first grade rugby union or rugby league side could
>give any gridiron team a run for there money, and our state sides could
>probably beat all comers. From what I have seen of gridiron (which is
>not much) Australian players could run you off your feet, assuming that we could
>pass the ball backwards as often as we liked.

	"Well, personally my interest in any of the myriad forms of
football/rugby/whatever is pretty close to nil, but if what you say is
true I have to ask why they don't?  Given the money to be made in the
US football market, I would think that you would be able to hand pick
a team from your state sides willing to go expatriate for a few years
on multi-million dollar contracts.  And US football scouts are
generally interested in looking for better players to make such offers
to-- I seriously doubt they'd much care about the nationality of the
players.  Alternately, the rugby team could schedule an exhibition
game at a suitable price-- the endorsement potential alone would make
rich men of them if they won."

Michael
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: schools re: Old Coots Test
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 22:45:00 GMT



>Spacey says ...
>>: He also said the level of maturity is so different between noisy ninth
>>: graders and tenth graders.  I do agree with him, although I think 
>>: kids from the 6th grade to 12th grade are not human but some abomination; 
>>: god's wrath or the devil playing some cruel joke on teachers.  

>A friend of mine, who is now a teacher, refers to them as 'hormones with feet.'


kitten, wicked stepmother to a live-in 15 year old and a non-live-in
17 year old (both male) and a 19 year old female (not to mention a
"mother-in-law" !) agrees....

or, to quote lee...."punish me now...throw me to the babes!"

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: More for Liralen...
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 19:47:00 GMT

In article <1992Oct6.001950.16543@ucc.su.OZ.AU> mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar) writes:

>"Happy Birthday!" He reaches into a pocket and extracts what looks like
>one end of a piece of string... only it's not string... He places the
>loose end in her hand.

She smiles at the touch of the familiar wool.

>"Australian Merino wool, for you to use in your knitted creations. The
>other end is back in a sheep-shearing and wool-carding and spinning shed
>somewhere in the outback of New South Wales. As you can see, it's been
>washed but not bleached or dyed. Makes for some wonderful natural tones
>in finished garments. And, of course, it will never run out.

Liralen laughs, delightedly.  "Danger Mouse, if I ever make it down to your
part of the world, would you be able to take me out to those sheering
sheds?  I've been using Austrailan Merino for the last four or five years
of my spinning and knitting career, and I've always wanted to go to
Australia to ship home a raw fleece or two."

She smiles, "Just about six months ago, I bought a single pound of
Australian Sharlea Merino, the finest wool known to people, at $24 for the
pound, which is about eight times what I pay for normal, local wools.  And
it's been *well* worth it.  Now I want to find more... but, if possible, at
a smaller price..."

She fingers the soft luxury of the Australian wool, wondering a little if
the New Zealanders will have a good rebuttal, and sits back to enjoy more
of the party.  Even as she sits back, though, a circular knitting needle
comes out of a bag, and the yarn starts to slowly move...
--
Liralen Li
li@inigo.Data-IO.com

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Thyra))
Subject: Re: Coming in for a landing, ArchTeryx!
Organization: The Polyhedron Group
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 04:08:44 GMT

In article <BvoFxJ.DDq@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu
(Barbara Trumpinski) writes:
> 
> 
> ahhhhhh, the plan is WORKING....feather and StM have got archteryx
> distracted... and didi is keeping him occupied with a glare! (and a
> glare from the sprite will keep anyone busy... :)
> 
<snip>
> 
> kitten sneaks up behind archteryx....not an easy thing to do...and
> kateri and sea sneak up behind kitten...suddenly he notices the
> bubbles and butterflies that have started filling the air....
> 
> he turns around and is suddenly surrounded by semi-dressed women and
> hugs.... 
> 
> kitten says, "archteryx...we sort of let your birthday slide by...and
> i know it was rough ....which is too bad, 'cause 21 should be a very
> special birthday...so this is for you...."
> 
> and suddenly there is a giant nick chopper birthday banner....just for
> our fave archteryx...
> 
<snip>

<And as Archteryx gapes at the bevy of beauties on that side, Thyra and
several of the other women in the Place pounce on him from behind, with
more hugs.>

"Happy Birthday Archteryx!", giggles Thyra. "Congrats on your big 21st!
Even if we are a bit late." <and she gives him a quick kiss on the side of
his beak.>

<Jason and several of the men in the bar also come forward to offer their
congratulations.>

"Happy Birthday Archeterix!" says Jason. "When I had my 21st, I was in the
Navy, several hundred miles from shore in the middle of the Atlantic ocean.
No way to party there. When we finally hit land, it was in a state where
the legal age was 18. I didn't really get to appreciate turning 21 for
another month or two, when we hit port in a different state. Normally I
offer a birthday person a bottle of their favorite potent beverage, or at
least a drink, for a 21st birthday. But given your past comments about how
alcohol affests you, and the more recent comment about the barrage of
peanuts, can I buy you something to eat, rather than a drink?"

Thyra and
Jason
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rlm7337@tamsun.tamu.edu (Richard L. Mcmahon)
Subject: Re: Caramel apples
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 23:00:24 GMT

In article <1992Sep30.235116.18105@data-io.com> li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus) writes:
>In article <jhitch.717828590@crash> jhitch@crash.cts.com (Grant) writes:
>>	"One condition, though.  Imposed by me, of course.  You have to
>>dip your own!  Trust me, that's half the fun!"
>
>A little Asian girl with wide eyes comes up to the table, and, on tiptoe,
>manages to snag an apple and a stick.  Phee wrinkles her nose, and the tip
>of her tongue sticks out as she carefully puts the stick against the
>apple.  Then she *pushes* with all her might!!  And the stick only goes
>about a quarter of an inch into the apple.  She frowns at it, her lower
>lip starting to stick out a little.  She looks at it.  She looks at the
>table.  She puts the apple on the table, grabs the stick, and then pulls
>down with all her weight.
>
>The stick gets stuck in the apple...
>
>Almost halfway *through* the apple...
>
>At a rather odd angle...
>
>Phee 
>li@inigo.Data-IO.com

John Carney walks over and takes a stick in hand.  Twriling it in his 
fingers a moment, he looks at Phee with her prize, then gets a wild grin
on his face. He takes hold of an apple and *plop* spears it though the side.
Takeing it to the pot, he dips it, then whirls around in a slow circle,
letting carmel sparkle out in spiral around him.  
As the carmel lands in a circle around him, he aims his grin at Phee, and
says, "you sure know the fun way to do this!" He then returns to his chair,
prize in hand...

John Carney  (Incarnadine)
Castle BBS
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: Callahan's is for everyone
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 18:11:08 GMT


Uhm... sorry if this rains on anyone's parade, but... piffle.

Callahan's is a news group.

It is *not* a bunch of people who have the professional know-how to 'help'
everyone.  STM looks like he could use some help that *really* knows what
its doing as opposed to a bunch of well-meaning, but rank amateurs.  Even
the Polymath, who has a degree in mind-work, will not claim to be able to
fix things for anyone here.

We can give support, and, sometimes, a willing and accepting heart is enough.

But, sometimes, it isn't.  

Look, I've spent my time at 3am in Feburary on a cold kitchen floor trying
to hold onto someone's life through a goddamned telephone line, and I was
damned lucky and the guy lived to see the morning, and is still alive.
But not because of ME.  I've given a room in my house to a Callahan's guy
for six months because he was looking for a job.  I've talked to several
patrons at 1 or 2 in the morning because they needed an ear.  And that was
cool.  I asked for it, and they said it helped.  But all that also burnt
me out so badly there was a time when I never wanted to see this newsgroup
again.

I have no magical power to 'fix' anyone's life.  I have no responsibility
for anyone's choices.  They are theirs to make.

It doesn't mean that I won't help when I can or when asked, but, sigh... as
an example, if the guy that I talked to that one night decided to die now,
I won't go around beating my breast and saying "If ONLY he'd called me."
because I know that it wasn't ME that decided that he was going to live
that next day.  It was him.  For his own reasons, and for his own goals.  I
had not a damned thing to do with it.

In the same way I never will ask Susan to live for me.  Because if she can't
live for herself and by her own decision, I have no *right* to demand that 
she face what she cannot face.  Maybe you folks who keep saying that
suicide is Wrong should get a job at a suicide prevention clinic and see
just how far that line will get you with someone who is *feeling* suicidal.

My religion tells me that I should help those that need it WHEN I can
afford it myself.  And I don't *have* the power or capability or the
ownership of everyone's life to even pretend that I can fix them.

----
Liralen Li 
li@inigo.Data-IO.com
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: I Never Thought . . .
Date: 28 Sep 1992 20:12:23 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <_09nb#f.aahz@netcom.com>, aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine) writes:
>Would someone mind explaining, in technical terms, just how this feat
>was done?  It just doesn't make sense to me that it would be possible to
>block an account's access to certain newsgroups based on whether the
>account was being dialed in from a modem.

Oh, it would certainly be possible.  It wouldn't even be all that difficult. 
You simply have the newsreader software check to see whether the user's on a
dial-in terminal or not.  If he's not, give him full access to the newsgroups.
If he is, then every time you get to the place in the code where you're going
to send a GROUP command to the NNTP server, check the group name against
the list of allowed/disallowed groups.  If the group in question is disallowed,
don't send the group command, and tell the user he doesn't have access.

Of course, at this point, all the user has to do is to bring in his own copy of
newsreader software, and he's avoided the restriction.  So the next thing you
do is to protect the network device, and give the official version of the
software the privs required to access the device.  Of course, you also have to
give any other programs that are supposed to be used for network communications
(e.g., telnet, ftp, rcp,....) the same privs.

Now, assuming that the policy doesn't also say that people who've dialed in
aren't allowed to telnet out, the determined news.addict still has an option
open to him:  He can get a copy of RFC977, telnet to port 119 on the nntp
server, and handle the protocol himself.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk (Alan Ralph)
ReplyTo: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Subject: Re: Pet cats
Distribution: world
X-Mailer: cppnews $Revision: 1.18 $
Organization: Chez MonTemplar, Redunser
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 15:44:46 +0000


In article <u906451.717509551@bruny> u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien Saunders) writes:
> Greetings unto the bar from Damien.
> 
> Has anyone considered how hard it is to read the articles here with a mad
> pet cat running around the house???
> 
> Mike there's a dollar.
> 
> Have you got anything to slow a small black cat down???
> 
> Damien.
> Southernmost member of the bar.

Hey, you think you've got problem? I live with *two* cats! They have a knack
of coming in and pestering me to feed them just as I'm composing a lengthy
posting, or editing a file, or worst of all in the middle of a game.

Only one thing stops a cat - cat food, the more the better! After that they
have to go and sleep it off somewhere...

--
Alan Ralph, AKA Kimberley MonTemplar (when in alt.callahans)
aralph@cix.compulink.co.uk  OR  mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Cominatcha' c/o Demon Internet Services - Internet for a tenner a month!
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: krisj@cssc-syd.tansu.com.au (Kristina Johansson)
Subject: re:Schooling
Organization: AOTC - CSSC
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 07:24:01 GMT

Raven looks over at Splash discussing school systems
"Hey, yours sounds alot like mine, but i went to school in Vancouver,
Canada.  Elementary School was for Kindergarden, & Grades 1 - 7, High
School for Grades 8-12.  College was the first two years of a BA and
certificate courses, while university was the place where one did 4 years for a
BA - for honours, you simply did more courses.
My elementary school worked on the open area principle, and the two
closest years would mingle so you would have a goup a year 5's , a group
of year 5-6's and a group of year 6's. Anyone else have a system similar
to that?"



Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rich@theophilus.msfc.nasa.gov (Rich Krum)
Subject: Re: Radio Information?
Reply-To: rich@theophilus.msfc.nasa.gov
Organization: Boeing Computer Support Services
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 21:04:37 GMT

11 Metre CB radios are currently unregulkated in the US.

Up to 5 watts may still be used.

most "new" radios have 40 channels.

Radio Shack and Discount warehouses have them--the last one I bought was 
for a car--5 watts, TINY 40 channel rig, and it does work.

toy radios are a pain.

Fiddling with the innnards is A)illegal, and B) not worth the trouble IMHO.

--rich AKA Boss Troll
---
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"My opinions are my own, and my employer (Boeing Computer Support Services)
 denies any responsibility for me, all opinions in general, and anything 
 I may say, do, or be otherwise associated with outside of work for them.
 -- Use at your own risk, your mileage may vary, no news is good news."

 E-MAIL REPLY TO:  rich@troll1.msfc.nasa.gov     PLEASE KEEP IT "G" RATED
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bard@spuddy.uucp (Mike Whitaker)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: ANOTHER MIA LIST
Date: 26 Sep 92 00:25:58 GMT
Organization: Spuddy's Public Usenet Domain

The Bard queues up to read the MIA list, then addresses the company.
"I am in regular contact with the Grey Lady - she is in fact more correctly
ABESC - Absent through Enforced Study Crisis..." A small blue fire lizard
materialises above his head and lands on his shoulder. "Oh - hello Luth." The
fire lizard chatters to him. "Alright - yes, ok. I'll tell them. Sheeesh." He
pats Luts affectionately. "Messages to her as jmh@cipric.mn.org will reach 
her eventually, but should they bounce, jmh@starfire.mn.org is a less 
frequently checked alternative." He grins wryly. "As a last resort, I call
her voice once a month or so, so messages via me will reach her."

-- 
    "Bard's just *know* things" - Me to the Grey Lady, in a rash moment
E-mail to: mikew@mdcbbs.com, mwhitaker@cix.compulink.co.uk or bard@spuddy.uucp
And remember folks, Spuddy sez dial 0203 638780 for free Usenet access - Mrowr
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rcb33483@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (ArchTeryx)
Subject: Re: Coming in for a landing, ArchTeryx!
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 16:36:46 GMT

lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals) writes:

>In article <BvLx25.7r0@agora.rain.com>, feath@agora.rain.com (Feather) writes:
>=Feather is having fun, having surprised ArchTeryx with her use of his beak
>=for a landing-place.  ArchTeryx has asked "What can I do you for?"
>=Feather ruffles her feathers and considers the question a bit.
>=
>=Well, I do enjoy this grand tradition of Callahaners always buying drinks
>=for each other.  Would you mind buying me something?  Could I order a
>=Brandy Alexander and put it on your bill?"
>=
>=Feather happily anticipates a taste of her favorite drink...

>But does she anticipate the barrage of peanuts (sorry, ArchTeryx) that head her
>direction in response to that pun?  Can her newly acquired telekinetic
>abilities protect her?

ArchTeryx responds to you BOTH.  He takes Feather 'under his wing' literally, 
grabbing the small bird gently in his three-fingered handclaws and tucking her under a wing. To the barrage of peanuts he gapes wide...VERY wide...over three
feet wide...and most of the thrown peanuts land squarely in his maw.  After he 
has a good beakfull of them, he closes up, and moments later there is a loud
*GULP*.  All that is left of the peanut attack is a rapidly fading bulge in his
slim neck.

"Ah, that's much better.  I haven't eaten in oo long...thanks, Feather!"

ArchTeryx then takes the rather flustered bird and puts her on his shoulder,
and drops two Dino-Dollars on the bar.  "Mike, a Brandy Alexander for the
Feather-ball, and a Sprite and Fruit punch for me." At Didi-Sprite's invariable
playful glare, he adds, "And please hold the fairy-dust. :>"


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R. Cody Buchmann                             ^.^  
  "ArchTeryx"                          "Of *course* I understand you--I speak 
email: rcb33483@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu       1406 intergalactic avian dialects!"  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: More old coots tests
Date: 28 Sep 1992 23:41:34 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <1992Sep24.195511.23411@ttinews.tti.com>, hollombe@polymath.tti.com (The Polymath) writes:
=In article <920922.18553720.078197@USM.CP6> JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE) writes:
=}
=} "Gee Polymath, I didn't know Cecil had a tail. ...
=
="Oh, he had one, but no one ever saw it.  (Not surprising, considering he
=started out as a hand puppet made from an old sock).
=
="One of Bob Clampett's daughters (Sheri, I think) used to torture people
=by telling them Bob had described Cecil's tail for her, then swore her
=to secrecy.  (She's otherwise a very nice person.  Really. (-:{ )"

I could've sworn that in one episode of Beany & Cecil, Cecil was shot across
the sky and we saw a spearhead-shaped tail.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: Yet Another Periodic Return...
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 01:28:02 GMT



>The dull blue-white glow in the corner barely has time to fade when the remarks
>of a Callahan's patron cause the Unbeliever to materialize once more.  He
>approaches Speaker To Minerals with a strange look in his eyes.  Nobody in the
>room can remember Unbeliever looking so... angry.  But when he reaches StM, he
>displays enough self-control to impress even Mike.

>"I am given to understand that you are currently rather sick, and are subject
>to some rather violent mood swings.  For this reason, and because of the
>respect I have for the FRIENDLY, TOLERANT atmosphere of Callahan's, will I not
>complete the posting I was 90% finished with, in which I viciously responded to
>your unwarranted attacks upon myself and my persona."

kitten looks helplessly at unbeliever and still hugs the big
kzin..."don't fight....please."

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson