HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith)
Subject: Re: how to get to root of strange behavior
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 22:26:15 GMT

In article <14DEC199216362551@vax2.concordia.ca> raw writes:
>hello out there,
>i hope someone can suggest how to patch up a relationship:
>
............... lotsa stuff deleted for brevity ..................
>
>i know what you're all gearing up to say:  DUMP HIM!  but if i do, i will 
>have no one again, and i don't think i can cope with that right now.  too 
>much is going wrong in my life, and i want to be happy.  

Ask yourself, "Am I happy?".  Not that I think that it is the place of another
person to "make you happy", but a person who just won't do right, can sure
take the wind outa' your sails.  This guy sounds like a real "slickster"
to me.  I know you don't want to hear/read this right now, but you are
better off w/o him.

>i have left out 
>some details for brevity's and clarity's sake.
>
>here are my questions.  pls e-mail if possible, otherwise posting is ok (it 
>may help someone else):
>
>-- How can i LEGALLY AND CHEAPLY check up on this guy?  (so far, his only 
>crime against me is breaking my heart and messing up my life.  contrary to 
>what my "friend" thinks, i am not rich, even though my salary is higher
>than his.)

Ask yourself, "Why do I want to be with a guy that I feel the need to
check-up on?".
>
>-- How can i make him stop treating me like crap, without compromising my 
>beliefs and values?  (ie. not by sleeping with him, living together/getting 
>married)

If you are really bent on sticking with this guy, then tell him that if
he doesn't treat you better, then you (the plural you, as in couple)
are through..... and make it stick.  He will either "come around", or
go "bye-bye".  In any event, you will be better off than you are now.
>
>-- How do i ask him to take me out on a date, but make sure he pays, the 
>way a gentleman should?  (common protocol seems to dictate that whoever 
>does the asking does the paying.  however, if i pay the way one time i will 
>be expected to pay ALL the time, and that's not right.)

What is wrong with going dutch?  You can go to better places, and more
often, two incomes to split the tab.  How about taking turns with dating
expenses?  If he balks at taking his turn, _dump_ his ass!
>
>please forgive such a long message, but i need help.  this is my first 
>boyfriend, and he did treat me halfway decently at one point.  i have given 
>him umpteen second chances -- why can't i get one, or at least a decent 
>goodbye?
>
>rosemary

Rosemary,
The "first love" always makes the deepest mark on your heart.  You must
remind yourself that you have a life too, and that you deserve better.
Maybe this guy will "come around", and maybe he won't, but judging by
your own words, I wouldn't hold out much hope.  It really sounds to
me, like this guy wants to be free of you, but is not honest/strong
enough to just tell you so.  You may just have to be strong enough to
tell _him_ goodbye, and then get on with your life.

Keith R
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: Sparky
Subject: Re: clarification (was Re: how to get to root of strange behavior)
Summary: Re: clarification (was Re: how to get to root of strange behavior)
Organization: None
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 15:33:10 GMT

In article <16DEC199215303639@vax2.concordia.ca> rwarren@vax2.concordia.ca
(Rosemary from Montreal) writes:
>>DUMP HIM.
>yep, i've heard that from just about everyone.  one person started off 
>saying "don't dump him" but then seemed to change their mind partway 
>through.  i guess when i first met sunday he reminded me of me with my last 
>sweetheart:  so starry-eyed innocent, wanting to spend as much time 
>possible with their beloved, wanting to hear their voice and see their face 
>constantly.  some of the things he's said to me i've said, word for word, to 
>other people!
>
>i must end this before all your news readers runneth over.
>"I just want you to recognize me in the temple ..."
>	Michael Jackson, "Jam"
>
>Rosemary Warren         rwarren@topaz.concordia.ca
>Montreal's Favorite Jacksonmaniac !!!
>

So you've gotten a lot of advice from different people. And "just about
everyone" has said to dump him.  Are you going to ignore the advice?
Why did you ask for advice if you're only going to ignore it?  It has
been said that people only ask for advice when they have already made
a decision that is uncomfortable for them and they need additional
justification and/or support. You seem intelligent and sensitive; I hope
you've made an intellignet decision.   I don't know what decision you have 
made,but I wish you the best. 
--Sparky
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: CMIS27@maccvm.corp.mot.com (Roda Farrell)
Subject: Re: Anniversary Gift Ideas?
Organization: Motorola
Date: 16 Dec 1992 08:25:51 CST

------------------------- Original Article -------------------------
From: roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle)

Next week we will have been married 12 years.  I am interested in
finding out what sorts of gifts readers of this newsgroup feel would
be appropriate for a woman after 12 years.  (I'm thinking about
in the $100-$300 range.)

Since our anniversary on the Winter Solstice falls so close to
Christmas, I might combine the two presents -- e.g. earrings for
Anneversary, ring for Christmas (and increase the budget approx.
to, say, $800).

What do womem think it's a good idea to combine anniversary and
Christmas presents, or is that not advisable, in your opinion?

Curt Roelle
roelle@sigi.jhuapl.edu
----------------------------------------------------------------------

How about renting a limo to take her to get a manicure/pedicure or
a facial?  My husband was going to set this up for me for Christmas
until I asked for something else.  Basically give her some time to
herself to get pampered.

As far as combining gifts, I am vehemently opposed to the idea.  My
birthday is four days away from Christmas; I've put up with combined
presents for years.  People wouldn't combine gifts if the other
occasion were in June, so why do it in December?  My anniversary is
the day after my birthday, but we keep the three days (and gifts)
distinct.  But since your plan is to give related gifts rather than
one, I would try to get a feel for how your wife will react.

Good luck!
Roda
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: bab2@nestor.cc.bellcore.com (barter,elizabeth)
Subject: Re: long distance couple
Organization: Bellcore, Livingston, NJ
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 21:15:45 GMT


This is hard, and you have to work at it - A LOT, EVERY DAY.
I've been in a relationship for 9 years, 7 of it long distance 
(with a few breakups here and there).  It's a long story and 
we're still trying to work things out, but the main thing you 
have to make sure of is that you communicate, communicate, 
communicate!! You hear it all the time, but it's true.  Dave and 
I made the mistake of putting on our "happy faces" all the time because
we didn't want to ruin the weekends/vacations, and we are just
now realizing how much this hurt the relationship.  If something
bothers you, even the small stupid things, you have to speak up
right away before it turns into a big thing.  

It also helps (if the distance isn't too far and you can afford it) 
if you try to see each other often, every 2 weeks or so.  The problem 
is that both of you have separate lives out of necessity and this very
easily can take precedence over the life you are trying to build
together.  Try not to let your schedules run wild, make the time
to see each other often if it is possible.  Otherwise be prepared
for big phone bills and writers cramp!

Also both of you should meet each others' friends, family, coworkers,
etc.  That way each of you will have a mental picture of how the other's
day was when you say something like "had lunch with John" or whatever.  
Then you can still share in the day to day stuff somewhat.  It's not
the big stuff that causes problems, it's the little things, I've found.
If someone had told me what this would have been like, I'm not so
sure I would've gone for it - but then love makes us do crazy things,
doesn't it?  Good luck!  If you want to talk more, email me.

Beth
              ___                           
             /\  \    
            /  \/ \    A fool, a fool!  I met a fool i' the forest
       ___  \   O /  ___   A motley fool; a miserable world!
      /    \ \   / /    \     As I do live by food, I met a fool.
     /   __ -    -  __   \             - As You Like It
    /___/ | <>   <> | \___\   
    O  ___|    ^    |___  O
     /     \  -^-  /    \    Beth Barter
    /   /\  \_____/ /\   \    Bellcore
    \_ / /          \ \_ /   Livingston, NJ
    O   /   /\   /\  \  O   nestor!bab2
         \ /  \ /  \ /   
          O    O    O


Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: sarinana@Ingres.COM (Linda Sarinana)
Subject: going away with boyfriend....
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 18 Dec 92 18:16:01 GMT


Please ignore my previous post, we've decided NOT to go to Reno....thanks
anyway!!!  -Linda 
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: jtamdor@iastate.edu (Jason T Amdor)
Subject: Re: how to get to root of strange behavior
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 22:36:26 GMT

please email me or post a email address..

thanks..jason

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle)
Subject: Anniversary Gift Ideas?
Summary: Looking for ideas for anniversary gift
Organization: Johns Hopkins University
Distribution: usa
Date: 15 Dec 92 20:53:50 GMT

Next week we will have been married 12 years.  I am interested in
finding out what sorts of gifts readers of this newsgroup feel would
be appropriate for a woman after 12 years.  (I'm thinking about
in the $100-$300 range.)

Since our anniversary on the Winter Solstice falls so close to 
Christmas, I might combine the two presents -- e.g. earrings for 
Anneversary, ring for Christmas (and increase the budget approx. 
to, say, $800).

What do womem think it's a good idea to combine anniversary and
Christmas presents, or is that not advisable, in your opinion?

I'm sorry if this is an inappropriate topic for this newsgroup, and
if so you may wish to indicate this by e-flame or lack of response.  
E-mail preferred, but your information may benefit other couples as well.

Many thanks,

Curt Roelle
roelle@sigi.jhuapl.edu

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: rwarren@vax2.concordia.ca (Rosemary from Montreal)
Subject: Re: clarification (was Re: how to get to root of strange behavior)
Summary: Re: clarification (was Re: how to get to root of strange behavior)
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Concordia University
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 19:31:00 GMT

>So you've gotten a lot of advice from different people. And "just about
>everyone" has said to dump him.  Are you going to ignore the advice?

	WHO SAID I WAS GOING TO IGNORE IT ?

I am going to do the following:

-- write (and mail) a carefully-worded goodbye note (no apologies, no begging
	for forgiveness, not too much nastiness)

-- if he ever phones back, repeat what i put in the note (i'll work on the 
	wording this weekend) and not go back on my word!

-- get on with my life!

what you folks out in silicon heaven have done for me is given me the 
courage to actually DO all this, instead of feeling sorry for myself or 
wishing how things could/should be.

what a nice xmas present!  thank you, everyone.

"Well, I'd like to be with you,
 And you know it's Friday too ..."
	Janet Jackson, "Escapade"

Rosemary Warren		rwarren@topaz.concordia.ca
Montreal's Favorite Jacksonmaniac !!!
From: willemsdawnm@bvc.edu
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: wedding custom?
Date: 17 Dec 92 17:42:34 CST
Organization: Buena Vista College, Storm Lake, IA


I am currently doing a paper on wedding customs of different societies.  I
would appreciate any information anyone can provide for me. 
Please send info to willemsdawnm.bvc.edu

thanks
dawn
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: sarinana@Ingres.COM (Linda Sarinana)
Subject: Going away with boyfriend...
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 18 Dec 92 17:33:37 GMT


I need your help again.....we're leaving TONIGHT for Reno and I need to know
the weather conditions.  I've been watching the news and to me, it doesn't
look too safe to drive out there, but my boyfriend is insistent on going.  We're
driving from Oakland, so could anybody please give me some information on the
weather?  Thanks a lot!!  -Linda 
Newsgroups: soc.history
Newsgroups: soc.history
Subject: _Inside the Third Reich_ by Albert Speer
From: <L98CC@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Date: Saturday, 12 Dec 1992 17:11:44 EST
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center

I am reading _Inside the Third Reich_ by Albert Speer, and wondering
how truthful he is.  It seems  he's very honest, but he had considerable
time to do research after he got out of Spandau.  (On the other hand, he
supposedly lived in seclusion for 3 years or so after his prison term.)

Some other questions come to my mind:
-- Was there any ghost writers behind this book?
-- The book reviews in scholary juournals were mostly negative.
   _The rise and fall of the Third Reich_ also got generally negative
   reviews as well.  It seems to me that professional historians do not
   regard these two books very highly.  Why?
   (Most popular magazine reviews were very favorable to both books.)
-- Did Albert Speer deserv 20 year prison sentence?
   (According to him, he deserves it.  But, it seems to me he's trying
   to unburden the "guilt of all German" from German people, and carry
   it all by himself.)
-------
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
 \\\                             Justin Bach                         \\\
  \\\                        l98cc@cunyvm.cuny.edu                    \\\
  ///               sh941727%ccnyvme.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu           ///
 ///                   Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You mere mortals!  :-)        ///
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: cramer@optilink.COM (Clayton Cramer)
Newsgroups: soc.history
Subject: Re: _Inside the Third Reich_ by Albert Speer
Date: 14 Dec 92 17:46:58 GMT
Organization: Optilink Corporation, Petaluma, CA

In article <92347.171144L98CC@CUNYVM.BITNET>, L98CC@CUNYVM.BITNET writes:
> I am reading _Inside the Third Reich_ by Albert Speer, and wondering
> how truthful he is.  It seems  he's very honest, but he had considerable
> time to do research after he got out of Spandau.  (On the other hand, he
> supposedly lived in seclusion for 3 years or so after his prison term.)
> 
> Some other questions come to my mind:
> -- Was there any ghost writers behind this book?
> -- The book reviews in scholary juournals were mostly negative.

I'm sort of surprised.  You have to take any work written by a 
participant with a grain of salt, but Speer's book provides a lot
of interesting first-hand accounts that would be impossible to
obtain (or verify) anywhere else.

I wonder if the reason for the hostility was that Speer was, after
all, one of the major participants in the second greatest criminal
enterprise in the history of man.  It's hard to separate that from
Speer's book.

>    _The rise and fall of the Third Reich_ also got generally negative
>    reviews as well.  It seems to me that professional historians do not
>    regard these two books very highly.  Why?

Hmmm.  My modern European history professor thought Shirer's book was
a reasonable source to use.

>    (Most popular magazine reviews were very favorable to both books.)
> -- Did Albert Speer deserv 20 year prison sentence?

Yes.  He got off light.

>    (According to him, he deserves it.  But, it seems to me he's trying
>    to unburden the "guilt of all German" from German people, and carry
>    it all by himself.)
> -------
>  \\\                             Justin Bach                         \\\

Probably.  But the quantity of guilt available from the Third Reich
is quite adequate to burden Speer and all the other beneficiaries
and ringleaders.

-- 
Clayton E. Cramer {uunet,pyramid}!optilink!cramer  My opinions, all mine!
C++ is to C, as lung cancer is to lung.
Newsgroups: soc.history
From: sos@oz.plymouth.edu (Steffan O'Sullivan)
Subject: Re: IRISH: Easter Rising 1916??
Organization: Plymouth State College - Plymouth, NH.
	<1992Dec16.154508.10444@oz.plymouth.edu>
	<JMC.92Dec16084005@SAIL.Stanford.EDU>
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 18:03:59 GMT

jmc@cs.Stanford.EDU writes:
>Steffan O'Sullivan ends two very informative posts with:
>
>     As I said, pointless but interesting speculation.  I wonder
>     if the Easter Uprising did more harm than good to Irish
>     Catholics in the long run?
>
>Irish nationalism often did not take a Catholic vs. Protestant form.

This is very true, and I confess my phrasing above is puzzling, even to
me.  I think I meant something more like: I wonder if the Easter
Uprising did more harm than good to the Irish people?

>John McCarthy, Computer Science Department, Stanford, CA 94305

Did you know we're related?  Carthy, to use the Anglicised formats, was
the son of Sullivan.  Carthy's children split into two groups: those
who decided to emphasize Carthy in their names, and those who
emphasized Sullivan.  (Mac means "son of" and O' means "descendant
of."  Women in Ireland use Ni, BTW, as in Ni Carthy: "daughter of
Carthy.")

-- 
  - Steffan O'Sullivan		         sos@oz.plymouth.edu
Newsgroups: soc.history
From: brian@garfield.cs.mun.ca (Brian Paquet)
Subject: The Hitler Stalin Pact
Organization: CS Dept., Memorial University of Newfoundland
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 00:45:20 GMT

 I think all things considered Stalin was right in signing the
infamous pact with Hitler. 

   If you consider how western attitudes could be percieved
and what the Germans faced [this is BEFORE da blitzkrieg].
and if you look at the gains Stalin made, all in all the 
pact is a good idea if looked at without the benifit of
hindsight  [IMP>!!! without knowing the success of
the outnumbered Germans [and their pz I and II  ohhhh
scary  that composed their fair share of their armour.]

Comments  [anything but this 20 10-page post whine fests going on here]

Newsgroups: soc.history
From: schoinas@fox.cs.wisc.edu (Yannis Schoinas)
Subject: Re: Rome and Slavery (was: Re: Robert's "Book")
Organization: U of Wisconsin Madison - Computer Sciences
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 11:45:58 GMT

barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry) writes:

>In article <1992Dec7.203454.19583@panix.com> gcf@panix.com (Gordon Fitch) writes:
>>Ah, an argument about Nietzsche.

>	Moreover, the general notion that Christianity brought down the
>Roman Empire is quite dubious. It really looks more a case of the Church
>picking up as many of the pieces as it could after the collapse of the
>West, and trying to hold things together.

Highly dubious, if I may add, since the empire lasted just about 11 centuries after 
christianity became its official religion.

							Yannis.
From: c23st@kocrsv01.delcoelect.com (Spiros Triantafyllopoulos)
Newsgroups: soc.history
Subject: the memory of 2.5 million is not that silent
Date: 14 Dec 1992 09:22:03 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

sera@zuma.UUCP (Serdar Arxid) writes:
re: "Schuerzinger" insults the silent memory of 2.5 million Muslim people.

Arxid Bey,

judging from the amount of crap coming out of your account, I do not
find the memory of the '2.5 million' people that silent.

In fact, I have a good reason to believe that they've all risen from 
the dead and started reading and posting news, all using your user-id...

Bah Bah Bah

Spiros
--
Spiros Triantafyllopoulos                    "Ne mutlu anti-Argic diyene ?
c23st@kocrsv01.delcoelect.com                 Ne mutlu anti-Mutlu diyene !"
From: cramer@optilink.COM (Clayton Cramer)
Newsgroups: soc.history
Subject: Re: SECRET PURPOSE OF FALKLANDS WAR
Date: 18 Dec 92 19:49:32 GMT
Organization: Optilink Corporation, Petaluma, CA

In article <1992Dec15.210400.2846@cnsvax.uwec.edu>, mcelwre@cnsvax.uwec.edu writes:
>    The plan calls for NUCLEAR WAR ONE to erupt by September of
> this year 1982!!  It is this fast-approaching nuclear war threat
> that caused the so-called Falklands crisis to erupt now.

Damn!  I missed NUCLEAR WAR ONE!  No one ever tells me ANYTHING!
-- 
Clayton E. Cramer {uunet,pyramid}!optilink!cramer  My opinions, all mine!
C++ is to C, as lung cancer is to lung.
Newsgroups: soc.history
From: jmc@SAIL.Stanford.EDU (John McCarthy)
Subject: Re: Mexican/American War Question
Reply-To: jmc@cs.Stanford.EDU
Organization: Computer Science Department, Stanford University
	<JMC.92Dec10153204@SAIL.Stanford.EDU>
	<1992Dec13.210720.20952@cbnewsl.cb.att.com>
Date: 13 Dec 92 15:05:22

You didn't say "isn't necessarily the opinion" but rather "isn't the
opinion", thus inadvertently committing your employer.  I was simulating
a PC type.  I can never remember how to make the different kinds of
smileys and don't feel like studying the matter.
--
John McCarthy, Computer Science Department, Stanford, CA 94305
*
He who refuses to do arithmetic is doomed to talk nonsense.

Newsgroups: soc.history
From: c9119870@wombat.newcastle.edu.au (ANTIGONE)
Subject: IRISH: Easter Rising 1916??
Organization: University of Newcastle, AUSTRALIA
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 03:47:06 GMT

Could any of you Irish History scholars fill me in with the
particulars of the 1916 Easter Rising?

Was it considered a success? (By the Catholics, that is)

Thanks,

Matthew
Newsgroups: soc.history
From: tom@europa.lonestar.org (Tom Kimball)
Subject: Re: Mexican/American War Question
Organization: Moria Mining Guild (BBS) -- Dallas, Texas, USA
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 20:34:44 GMT

In article <53RS3JCNI@linac.fnal.gov> robin@severian.chi.il.us (Robin Carkhuff) writes:
>
>>chris@dhvx20.csudh.edu writes
>>>In the Mexican/American War, is it true that the U.S. Marines killed millions
>>>of children which were called "Los Ninos Heroes" (The Children Heroes)?
>
>Chapultepec, a fortified hill south of Mexico City, was a traditional
>home of Spanish viceroys and Mexican rulers.  During the M-A War, it
>was home to Mexican cadets.  It was stormed by the Americans in 1847,
>who knew it to be a guarded military fortress, but didn't know who
>guarded it.  The cadets put up a brave defense, but were defeated.
>The castle is now a historical museum.
>
>I guess My Lai was nothing original.

Explain how the above relates the the Vietnam My Lai massacre?
It seems like a military operation to me.

-- 
Tom Kimball  			tom@europa.lerctr.org    
tom@europa.lonestar.org		tom%europa@egsner.cirr.com
Newsgroups: soc.history
From: brian@garfield.cs.mun.ca (Brian Paquet)
Subject: Re: kill file
Organization: CS Dept., Memorial University of Newfoundland
Distribution: soc
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 23:42:31 GMT

jmc@SAIL.Stanford.EDU (John McCarthy) writes:

>Wow!  22 postings to this newsgroup, and my kill file zapped them all.
>No-one without a vigorous kill file is likely to survive this
>newsgroup.
>--

I quit this newsgroup a few months ago because of you know who..
Then I switched to nn. I loike [sp intentional] nn. I see a 
big list of who know who posts and I just press space bar
and bye bye. 
[Note This is not intended to start a rn vs nn thing. Just
some usefull advice, another way to bypass idiots without
useing a kill file.]

Newsgroups: soc.history