HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: peterd@polari.com
Subject: Re: Polish Army
Organization: Seattle Online Public Access Unix.  (206) 328-4944 (all lines telebit-equipped)
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 09:07:43 GMT

Bob.Underdown@f1040.n391.z1.FidoNet.Org (Bob Underdown) writes:

> TOS> Hey, let's not forget those brave Polish cavalry charging the 
> TOS> Panzers.
> TOS> 
> TOS> People wonder why there are machine guns on top of some tanks.
> TOS> 

>The great irony of the whole cavalry vs tanks story is that the Germans had
>more cavalry troops than anyone else in the world in 1939 and the US Army
>actually had a cavalry troop in the Philippines in 1941.

> * Origin: The Human Race Is Still In Beta Testing! (1:391/1040.0)

details: polish cav unit had just successfully done what cav units do:
pounded patoot out of a regualr infantry unit.  While withdrawing
across an open field (lots of 'em on the Polksy steppe) they were
caught by a tank unit.  Bad juujuu bawana, did more than scare the
horses.

chus
pyotr
From: 00jwsipes@bsu-ucs.uucp (Frodo)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Helen Keller Jokes
Date: 9 Apr 92 01:26:20 GMT
Article-I.D.: bsu-ucs.1992Apr8.202620.5912

In article <1992Apr1.220041.6581@mcs.gvsu.edu>, ebling@turing.mcs.gvsu.edu (Aaron Ebling) writes:
> Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?
> You would to if your name was  AAAHHHAAARRRHHARH!!!!
> 
> How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
> She answered the iron.
> 
> How did she burn the other side?
> They called back.
> 
> ---That's all I can remember for the moment.
> -- 

Some more to add to the list....they might not be typed the way that you heard
but they are basically the same jokes.


Why was Hellen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind too.

One day Hellen Keller fell down a well and broke three fingers yelling for help

How did Hellen Keller burn her hand?
She tried to read the waffle iron.

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
1) Moved the furniture.
2) Left a plunger in the toilet.

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?
So she could moan with the other.

Did you hear about the new Hellen Keller doll?
1) You wind it up and it walks into a wall.
2) You wind it up and it does nothing.



I am having a Hellen Keller block.  I know more but can't remember them.  When
I do I will post them.

-- 
/------------------------------------------------------------------------------\
|   Josh Sipes                                                                 |
|   Indiana Academy for Mathematics, Science, and Humanities                   |
|   Ball State University   Muncie, IN 47306                                   |
|                        00jwsipes@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu                           |
|       "Fasten your condoms" -- Steve Martin -- "Father of the Bride"         |
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------/
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jd@cc.gatech.edu (Mike JD Espig)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Lion Joke
Date: 9 Apr 92 13:30:46 GMT
Article-I.D.: cc.1992Apr9.133046.20170
Reply-To: jd@cc.gatech.edu
Organization: ICS Lab

.....
%The hero, now sober, clapped a hand to his head. "Great Jehosophat!", he
%cried, "Don't tell me that lion was real?!?" and promptly fainted.
%(-bennett serf)
%

|He wasn't that drunk.
|
|He could still walk a strayed lion.
|
|--
|     / \      Reverend fnord

>Ha!  Good one, fnord!  You're putting the pride back into lion jokes!

don't think we have to take this kind of humor lion down,
these jokes are supposed to have some maneing to them.

(and i've never veldt more strongly about obscure references)

(... like the last one)
					-Mike (jd@cc.gatech.edu)
---
From: igokhale@bonnie.ics.uci.edu (Ishaan M. Gokhale)
Subject: Re: Call for humor behind cars
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Organization: Univ. of Calif., Irvine, Info. & Computer Sci. Dept.
Date: 14 Apr 92 17:14:42 GMT
Distribution: usa

A bumper sticker I just saw:

"WARNING: I am as bad a driver as you are"

A License plate I just saw:

"NJINERE"


--
     Ishaan M. Gokhale
igokhale@bonnie.ics.uci.edu
 eauu016@orion.oac.uci.edu
From: dws@margay.cs.wisc.edu (DaviD W. Sanderson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: List of : -)
Date: 9 Apr 92 18:59:03 GMT
Reply-To: dws@cs.wisc.edu
Organization: UW-Madison Computer Sciences Department

In <1992Apr9.085330.3708@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu> malehman@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu (Wheat Lehmann) writes:
>And me as well

To stave off any more "me, too"s, here's my form letter:

My smiley program (containing the largest and most comprehensive
collection of smileys ever posted) was most recently posted in
comp.sources.misc, volume 23.  See your nearby comp.sources.misc
archive site to obtain it.

The comp.sources.misc index line:

v23i102   smiley/part01      smiley - smiley server, version 4, Part01/01

Here are a few anonymous FTP sites and paths:

wuarchive.wustl.edu:
	usenet/comp.sources.misc/volume23/smiley/part01.Z
uunet.uu.net:
	comp.sources.misc/volume23/smiley/part01.Z

Ask your system administrator if you don't know what anonymous FTP is.

DaviD W. Sanderson (dws@cs.wisc.edu)
-- 
DaviD W. Sanderson (dws@cs.wisc.edu)
From: sly9y@cc.usu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Blond Joke (encoded)
Date: 15 Apr 92 11:37:12 MDT
Organization: Utah State University

In article <c315-30.703328295@manning>, c315-30@cs.UAlberta.CA (Gerald Oskoboiny) writes:
> chris@iowegia.uucp (Chris Lyons) writes:
> 
>>How does a blond part her hair?
>>
>>She spreads her legs.
> 
> Can someone please tell me how to decode this?
> 
> --
> Gerald

Dumbass!!!  you translate it from ancient Sioux.
hehehehe
From: gvg@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Greg Goebel)
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 14:32:32 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: Polish/Italian joke
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Loveland, CO
Newsgroups: rec.humor


> PS any German jokes?

Ve chermans are not funny.  Ve only laff ven ordered to by our superiors:

"You may laff now!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."

"SHTOP!"

"JAWOHL, MEIN HERR!"

   Wile E. Coyote at the Acme Online Support Organization For The SouthWest
--
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|                               DISCLAIMER                                   |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|   Who cares what I think?  I don't take MYSELF seriously, why should you?  |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Greg Goebel                             NET:     gvg@hpislx                |
| Hewlett-Packard                         HP DESK: gvg(hpislx) / HP0900 / UX |
| MSO Marketing                           PHONE:   Telnet/303 679-3424       |
| POB 301 / MS-CU312 / Loveland CO 80539  FAX:     Telnet/303 679-5957       |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: jgold@aeras.uucp (Jeff Gold)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: A found riddle!
Date: 6 Apr 92 19:36:13 GMT
Reply-To: jgold@aeras.UUCP (Jeff Gold)
Organization: Arix Corporation, San Jose, CA.

In article <1992Apr2.183354.11399@newscan.canada.sun.com> davidbw@superjack.Canada.Sun.COM writes:
>>What's the first number in the English language that uses the letter
>>A"?
>
>>
>
>
>>Give it a try.
>>I'll post the answer tomorrow.
>
>>Rob C.

a response was:
>thousAnd
>
what about "one hundred And one"? Counts?

Jeff "...and why not?" Gold
From: dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu (David 'Mishael' Green)
Subject: Re: Things that make you go hmmm
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 02:59:33 GMT

->>Why do the needles used in lethal injections have to be sterile?
->>
->>Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
->
->Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
->
->Why do noses run and feet smell?

Why is it that night falls, and dawn cracks, but day breaks?
-- 
dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu				   David "Mishael" Green
		    Have you scritched your local Furry today?
********************************************************************************
Life is too confusing for novices; we should hire professionals to do it for us.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps... er.. Oktay Ahiska)
Subject: Re: Oxymorons wanted...
Organization: Computer Science Department, University of New Hampshire
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1992 22:42:05 GMT

>Artificial Intelligence (yeah I do not believe in Turning-test)

>Nik
>--
>I passed Turning-test, and I contradict Chinesse-room-argument. Conclussion?
>Ergo sum.
>--

What is this Turning test that you are talking abuout?  Something like
Turing test?  :-)  FYI, Turing didn't think that it was a complete
test of intelligence either. 

Oktay

-- 
_________________________________________________________________
\  Oktay Ahiska     \ I speak for myself.      \  Send me mail.  \
/ Dept. of CS, UNH  /  The ideas are mine,     / Send me mail.   /
\  Durham, NH 03824 \ the computers are UNH's. \  Send me mail.  \

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jrh28614@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (CatStyle )
Subject: Re: FTP sites for jokes?
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 15:51:38 GMT

In article <1992Apr14.121020.2641@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> jbuckner@lonestar.utsa.edu (James A. Buckner) writes:
>
>FTP to deja-vu.aiss.uiuc.edu (Numeric address is 128.174.53.10)
>
>Go to the misc/fun directory and have fun.
>
>BTW, the files are compressed

Between 5 and 6 tonight (CDT) the archive will be largely unavailable as I will
be updating the material there (which I haven't done for over a month) and 
removing the ^M that currently appears on the end of each line caused by moving
files from a DOS system to a UNIX system.

Jason R. Heimbaugh (CatStyle)
Technical Support Staff, AISS
jasonh@joker.aiss.uiuc.edu
From: steve@yogi.hsc.ucalgary.ca
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: "Make like a..."
Date: 10 Apr 92 17:00:46 MDT

>>>>>>Make like the wind and blow.
>>>>>Make like a tree and leave.
>>>>>Make like a fetus and head out.
>>>>>I'm off like a dirty shirt.
>>>>I'm off like a prom dress.
>>>Make like a banana and split.
>>>Make a hockey player and get the puck outta here.
>>Make like a drum and beat it.
> Make like horse shit and hit the trail.
Make like a bird a flock off.

-- 
[*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*]
[*]                                 [*]                                 [*]
[*]    Steve Hocevar                [*]                ravecoH evetS    [*]
[*]    Calgary, Alberta, Canada     [*]     adanaC ,atreblA ,yraglaC    [*]
[*]                                 [*]                                 [*]
[*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*][*]
From: gt0501c@prism.gatech.EDU (Ben Combee)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: DUMBEST COMMERCIAL OF THE WEEK
Date: 8 Apr 92 22:49:30 GMT
Article-I.D.: hydra.53991
Organization: Home of the Big G Burger

In <1992Apr8.152358.15066@visus.com> atf@porkchop.visus.com (Annie Franusich) writes:

>I think Pepsi's made a real boo-boo with their new slogan, "I've gotta  
>have it!".  Reminds me of a Spike Lee film of a few years back.. (She's  
>Gotta Have It) ;>)

What makes this commercial even more funny is that one of the "Gotta have
it people" is convicted rapist Mike Tyson.  Looks like he had to get it!

-- 
Benjamin L. Combee                 |  -===-
Internet: gt0501c@prism.gatech.edu | =   ___  "Home of the Big G Burger" 
1991-1992 joint enrollee           | -     =    -- MST3K, Comedy Central
C, Modula-2, C++ resource          |  -===-
From: DCM115@psuvm.psu.edu (Doug Morack)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Sam Kinison is DEAD???????????
Date: 12 Apr 92 03:15:14 GMT
Article-I.D.: psuvm.92102.231514DCM115
 <kuf486INNqh4@nunki.usc.edu>
Distribution: usa
Organization: Penn State University
Organization-][: The Calcium Cult
X-Subliminal-Message: oomogswoc rules!!!!


    May he rest in peace.

                                                   -Doug
Xref: sparky rec.humor:16062 alt.fan.monty-python:2674
From: jprlarib@cs.ruu.nl (Jan Peter Laribij)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Date: 9 Apr 92 13:39:31 GMT
Organization: Utrecht University, Dept. of Computer Science

In <MORJENS.92Apr8102145@vipunen.hut.fi> morjens@vipunen.hut.fi (Jens B von Weissenberg) writes:


>   >>>>>>>I've told you once... 
>   >>>>>>No, you haven't.
>   >>>>>Yes I have.
>   >>>>No, you haven't.
>   >>>I'm sorry but your time is up, That will be $5.
>   >>That was *never* five minutes!
>   >I'm afraid it was.
>   No, it *wasn't*!
I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to argue anymore.


Jan Peter *** Incontinentia Buttocks (fart) *** nudge,nudge, know what I mean?
           ^                                 ^
	   |                                 |
PS.   This | is not an aka                   |
                                             |
PPS.  neither is this -----------------------|

--
Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass. A good bookshop is just a
genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. - Terry Pratchett
   "Help, I'm having space-time distortions in my room!"

Be Aware Of Rocket Blast - The Vanishing Point - Slammin' Sammy Miller

Now, anyone else feel like a little giggle when I mention my fwiend
Biggus Dickus? - Monty Python

Look very carefully, I will show this only once! - 'Allo 'Allo
-- 
Jan Peter Laribij, Student Computer Science. E-mail : jprlarib@praxis.cs.ruu.nl
From: malenovi@plains.NoDak.edu (Nikola V. Malenovic )
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Oxymorons wanted...
Date: 11 Apr 92 10:12:19 GMT
Article-I.D.: plains.16670
Organization: North Dakota State University, Fargo, ND

In article <299@sbmsg1.UUCP> acw@sbmsg1.UUCP (Alvin White) writes:
>I can't believe that I haven't seen this one
>
>RAP MUSIC
 ^^^

you misspelled it! it has "C" in front! :)

other oxy's? well :

User Friendly Computer Systems
The VI User's Handbook...
Artificial Intelligence (yeah I do not believe in Turning-test)



can't think of any more...


Nik
--
I passed Turning-test, and I contradict Chinesse-room-argument. Conclussion?
Ergo sum.
--
Xref: sparky rec.humor:16000 alt.fan.monty-python:2645
From: morjens@vipunen.hut.fi (Jens B von Weissenberg)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Date: 8 Apr 92 08:21:45 GMT
	<1992Apr07.100449.23333@cs.ruu.nl>
Organization: Helsinki University of Technology, Finland

In article <1992Apr07.100449.23333@cs.ruu.nl> jprlarib@cs.ruu.nl (Jan Peter Laribij) writes:

   >
   >>>>>>>I've told you once... 
   >>>>>>No, you haven't.
   >>>>>Yes I have.
   >>>>No, you haven't.
   >>>I'm sorry but your time is up, That will be $5.
   >>That was *never* five minutes!
   >I'm afraid it was.
   No, it *wasn't*!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: lots of license plates!
From: jtinkle@sparc1.sparc1.csubak.edu (j. tinkle )
Date: 10 Apr 92 20:46:53 PDT
Organization: California State University, Bakersfield
Keywords: rumored tag
Summary: IB6UB9

I've heard a rumor that this plate made it past the California DMV years ago:

		IB6UB9

Jennifer@new.net.poster
From: smoore@dartmouth.edu (Sean Moore)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Oxymorons wanted...
Date: 13 Apr 92 12:55:50 GMT
Distribution: rec
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH


While perusing through the grocery store, I picked up a carton of
grits.  The product was 'Quaker OLD-FASHIONED Grits', with an
additional emblazonment stating 'MICROWAVEABLE!!'
- S
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sanjayp@hubcap.clemson.edu (patel sanjay)
Subject: Re: Oxymorons wanted...
Organization: Clemson University, Clemson SC
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 16:35:25 GMT

In article <299@sbmsg1.UUCP> acw@sbmsg1.UUCP (Alvin White) writes:
>I can't believe that I haven't seen this one
>
>RAP MUSIC

Fucking virgin

Xref: sparky rec.humor:16141 eunet.jokes:1081 aus.jokes:527
From: lkoh@elman.austin.ibm.com (Lisa Koh;Austin)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes,aus.jokes,afronet.humour,asia.funny
Subject: TOP 10 REASONS WHY GUM IS BETTER THAN MEN
Keywords: may be offensive!
Date: 8 Apr 92 19:13:06 GMT
Reply-To: ...@cs.utexas.edu:ibmaus!auschs!YOURCOMPUTER.austin.ibm.com!YOURLOGIN
Organization: IBM Austin, TX

sorry, kids...i botched that big time!

somehow the title got deleted; it was
 TOP TEN REASONS WHY GUM IS BETTER THAN MEN!!!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: fester@island.COM (Mike Fester)
Subject: Re: Computer translations
Organization: /usr/local/rn/organization
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 18:35:58 GMT

In article <1992Apr3.225513.15690@acuson.com> miklg@acuson.com (Michael Goldman ) writes:
>fester@island.COM (Mike Fester) writes:
>>Also, there was sports drink marketed there which was patterned after Gatorade.
>>The name; Pocari Sweat!
>
>	Pocari is a verb meaning "take care of" or "replenish".  sweat is
>	from the English, so tyhe name of the drink is roughly:
>		"Takes Care of Sweating"

Actually, "pocari" comes from the sound the Japanese use when someone is
knocked out by a hit on the head ("pocari" is NOT a verb). Thus, you could 
translate "Pocari Sweat" to mean "Bashed in the head with sweat" or any other
combination of sweat and KO.

Mike
-- 
Disclaimer - These opiini^H^H damn! ^H^H ^Q ^[ .... :w  :q  :wq  :wq! ^d  X ^?
exit X Q  ^C ^? :quitbye  CtrlAltDel   ~~q  :~q  logout  save/quit :!QUIT
^[zz ^[ZZZZZZ ^H  man vi ^@  ^L  ^[c  ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help  helpquit ^D  ^d 
man help ^C ^c help exit ?Quit ?q CtrlShftDel "Hey, what does this button d..."
From: les@ulysses.att.com (Leslie Johnson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: How HOT IS IT?
Date: 9 Apr 92 18:33:35 GMT
Article-I.D.: ulysses.16515
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Murray Hill, NJ, USA

It was so cold, I saw a chicken with a capon.

  - Leslie Johnson  (les@ulysses.att.com) 1+908-582-5493
       "One Bell System - It Works"
From: ar_mill@pavo.concordia.ca (MILLEN, ANDREW R.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: bumper stickers
Date: 6 Apr 92 19:18:00 GMT
Organization: Concordia University
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

A bumper sticker I saw yesterday:
"Don't get too close or I'LL FLUSH!"

  %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%              %%      \ | /      %%    H a p p i n e s s   i s . . .    %%%
%%    A. R. M.   %% |     - o    |  %%       /_ /_ |\| /_ / | /             %%
%%               %%  \__________/   %%       \/ \  | | \  > | >             %%  
%%%              %%                 %%    Front-row Tickets in Montreal!!! %%%
  %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
From: vlasis.bbs@cybernet.cse.fau.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: PC Manifesto v2.0
Date: 15 Apr 92 01:55:14 GMT
Organization: Florida Atlantic University, Boca Raton

snail@lsl.co.uk writes:

> In article <rdippold.702180868@cancun>, rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dip
> >>God this is tripe, this is like saying that people who who dislike people w
> >>commit rape, really want to commit rape. I assume this started of in Americ
> > 
> > Further proof that as soon as you turn PC your sense of humor is the
> > first thing to go (or is it the other way around)?   It's a spoof of
> > the great floating "homophobe" wars.  Completely wasted on numbwits...
> 
> So you like rape... ha ha I bet she did to!

>>>
>>>  if you think think rape is fun, how would you like to be raped ?
>>>
>>>  some people need a life and a personality, specialy those who
>>>  think rape is fun ...

>>>  Maybe these "people" should talk with rape victims in order to
>>>  find out how much "fun" rape is .

>>>  enough said ...
From: ee4grd@castle.ed.ac.uk (G Dods)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: TONGUE TWISTERS
Date: 16 Apr 92 13:37:04 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University


 Try this one then:

Six sexy song thrushes sang six silly songs.

I've never been able to say this one (we were asked to make up tongue
twisters at primary school, 15 years or so ago)

Graeme
From: dbwebe@bb1t.monsanto.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: April fool's day jokes?
Date: 8 Apr 92 15:48:48 CST
Organization: Monsanto Company, St. Louis, MO

In article <1992Apr7.155731.1757@admin1.memst.edu>, awheeler@admin1.memst.edu writes:
>> 
>> Did anyone hear of any funny April fools day jokes/stunts.
>> 
>> Well, let's hear 'em!
> 
> This one may be old news to some, but I will tell it again because it works.
> 
> We left a message for our boss to return Mr. Lyon's phone call.  The number
> that we put on the note was for the ZOO.  She calls the number and asks to 
> speak to Mr. Lyon.  The person on the line has to convince her that someone
> is playing a joke on her and that Mr. Lyon is really Mr. Lion.
> 
> She fell for this in a big way.  She has vowed pay back!
> 
> Anthony Wheeler


Last year, we used Ms. Ellie Fant. Our co-worker fell for it, believe it
or not. If I'd a known it was going to be THAT easy...
From: strassbm@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Star Trek Joke
Date: 9 Apr 92 07:13:21 GMT
Distribution: rec.humor
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

]In article <1992Apr7.161157.11008@sjuphil.uucp>, pastino@sjuphil.uucp (Sal Pastino) writes:
> 
> Dr McCoy was involved in a shuttle craft accident and he was left trapped
> inside the damaged ship. While Captain Kirk was waiting for the emergency
> crews to free his comrade he pounded on the ship and shouted, "Bones, Bones!
> Do you think your all right? Are you badly hurt?" To which Dr. McCoy
> replied, "Damn it, Jim! How should I know? I'm a doctor, I'm not a lawyer!"
> 
> 
> Okay, okay so it's a little corny. But I thought it was funny.
> 
> 
>                                             Thanks, Sal Pastino

As long as we're on the subject of Star Trek jokes...
  Q: What kind of noise do Vulcan popguns make?
  A: T'Pau.

Laugh at your leisure...
From: sram@lccinc.UUCP (Sidharth Ram)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: German jokes
Date: 13 Apr 92 22:05:16 GMT
Organization: LCC Inc., Arlington VA


The one I recall is about the mad german scientist,
who insisted that all clocks should go 
"tick tock tick tock ...."
so they managed to get all clocks going  thata way
except for one stubborn english one dating back
to WW II. it kept going Tick Tick TIck ....
SO finally the madman looked straight into it
and uttered  in a guttural tone




"We haff ways to make you tock"


siddharth
uunet!hallofjustice!sram
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Korth)
Subject: Re: Purity Test?
Organization: Bradley University
Date: 13 Apr 92 22:58:55 GMT

In <45177@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> marc@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (marc) writes:
>In article <92102.141456JRH133@psuvm.psu.edu>, JRH133@psuvm.psu.edu (John Hennessey) writes:
>> Could someone send me the 500 entry list too? Thanks.
>> --
>>   /~\       .          ~|   |
>>  |   |  __ /|__  .__    |---|  _   __  __   _   _   _   _   . .
>>  `\__|/|__| |  |/|  |/' |   |\|_|_/| |/| |_|_|_/_)_/_)_|_|_/|_/~~
>>     /|                                                       /|
>>    / |                                                      / |
>>   (_/'           jrh133@psuvm.psu.edu                      (_/
>Instead of a bunch of "me too's" why dosen't someone post the list?

Or even better: why don't the people who want it read the alt.sex FAQL?
The addresses for ftp'ing the tests are there.
--
*** Matt Korth *** dragon@camelot.bradley.edu *** dragon@buhub.bradley.edu ***
You are confused.  Black does not represent evil.  Black represents
anxiety.  Sen. Jesse Helms represents evil.

			--the Omniscient Usenet Oracle
From: v128juxa@ubvmsc.cc.buffalo.edu (Schuyjuannah)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Date: 6 Apr 92 14:54:00 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: SUNY@Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <32146@darkstar.ucsc.edu>, gross@cats.ucsc.edu (Mike Gross) writes...
> 
>maxwell@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Mark Story) writes:
> 
>>In article <1992Apr6.010309.10819@nic.unh.edu> ss1@kepler.unh.edu (The Rink) writes:
>>>>>>I've told you once...
>>>>> No, you haven't.
>>>>Yes I have.
>>>No, I haven't.
>>This isn't an argument, it's just contradiction!
>No, it isn't.    
Yes, it *is*!