HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: colby@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (Kenneth Colby)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Suicide
Date: 27 Dec 92 19:58:46 GMT
Organization: UCLA, Computer Science Department

my thanks to stan brown for the help with the garbled message.
I'm new to the net and can use all the help I can get. Happy
New Year.
	       Ken Colby
	       MAIW
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: zaphodb@brahms.udel.edu (Angela Marie Watson)
Subject: Re: Oh, God, I'm DYING for a cigarette!!!
Organization: The Eternal Order of Chaos 
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 12:53:03 GMT


	If you're _dying_ for a cigarette... well, won't the damn thing
kill you anyway (although rather slowly)??? so go ahead.... unless you
_really_ want to quit...

	Of course Nicotine can be gotten in other ways... besides visiting
the doctor for some of those nifty patches, you could always just take
the stuff straight.  Crudely distilled Nicotine is rather easy to make...
and since it can be hard for most to measure the potency and/or purity
of the resulting liquid, taking a fatal dose can be an easy mistake to
make... 

	BTW, I think there is a group for people quitting their nicotine
fixes... try asking the alt.support people, they'd probably know better
than us death-mongers...

		Psycho Kitten
		(just waiting for my window of opportunity...)
	

Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: bob@nmt.edu (Bobsickle (tm))
Subject: Re: Christmas comes but once a year
Organization: New Mexico Tech
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 01:04:02 GMT

In article <1992Dec26.61225.24935@ms.uky.edu> justin@hp750.ccs.uky.edu (Justin Sullivan) writes:
>Life is not crappy and unfair. <surprise!> People are. More to the point,
>UNHAPPY people are. Life is beautiful.. Society isn't. We build cities

Life IS crappy and unfair.  There is no underlying justice to the universe.
Moreover, our bodies and minds are designed to ensure that PAIN is the
strongest stimulus, FEAR is the strongest emotion.  This is to enforce
survival.  Evolution has crafted us to reproduce and die.  Nothing else.

The joy you get out of life is meager, you must WALLOW in it.  You must grab
life and wrest it into a form that pleases you.  You must help others enjoy
the short, desperate time they have.

Never take life for granted.  Mommy was wrong.  Everything's not going to
be OK.  But the proper attitude and appreciation for life's simple pleasures
will help.  A lot.

Bob.
(Pensive, but happy?)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: brown@NCoast.ORG (Stan Brown)
Subject: Re: LIFE ROCKS!
Organization: Oak Road Systems, Cleveland Ohio USA
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 12:05:23 GMT

In article <1992Dec18.030125.3078@peanut> wilsonandrew@bvc.edu writes:
>[stuff deleted] 
>So. The only problem remains is how the task will actually be performed. 
>I figure, the messier the better. 

Yesterday I started watching my old tapes of {Life on Earth}, and in the
volcano scenes, I thought of a really fabulous way to go:  Throw oneself
into a volcano.  It's suicide, and at the same time serves humanity by
propitiating the volcano gods so that the lava will miss inhabited areas.
-- 
Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems                      brown@Ncoast.ORG
"If you click on its capital, Ouagadougou, you'll hear its name
pronounced--in this instance, a most helpful feature."  
                                  --PC Magazine, 92/12/22, pg 352
Newsgroups: wpi.students.vox,alt.suicide.holiday,rec.arts.poems,alt.personals
From: bacon@mtu.edu (Jeff Bacon)
Subject: Re: No more dead kitties! :( (Re: Kittens - C&C Welcome)
Organization: Michigan Technological University
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 05:52:29 GMT

In article <1992Dec28.194429.13635@pegasus.com> alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe) writes:
>>>>>Stop..you're making me laugh and I might choke on my coffee..hmm
>>>>>suicide by laughing?..anyway..I love cats but I also am so very
>>>>>*evil*;->
>>>>*WAAAAAH*
>>>>poor widdle kitty cat...
>>>yeah..I know....so wicked I am..
>>yes you are :(
>>shame on you :(
>>-bacon
>>save the cute widdle kitty cats!
>Ah..see how unfair life is? *I* didn't post the pic of the poor little
>cat..now I'm getting the blame..sigh..but I did laugh..but then I laugh
>when I'm hurting..don't you?  Keeps the idiots fooled ya know;-)
>
>goodie..*shame* on me;->

nope, I'm not blaming you for the pic, I'm blaming you for laughing...
but then again I suppose you're right...ok. you're kind of off the hook. :)

-bacon
an idiot and a fool and damn proud of it cause it's a hell of a lot more
interesting than a lot of other things I could name
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: fraser@munta.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Fraser Wilson)
Subject: Christmas comes but once a year
Organization: Computer Science, University of Melbourne, Australia
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 06:17:12 GMT

Well, it's that time of year again.  I tested my laser-forged never
needs sharpening wonder-knife on my wrist this morning, but being a guy
who never liked injections, I don't think it's a good way to go.  And I
didn't even break the skin, although it was slightly painful for a while
afterwards.  Actually, I wouldn't mind going out via the ol' wrist
slash, because what I could do would be to get a whole bunch of litre or
pint containers, and try to fill as many of them up before losing
consciousness.  Does anyone have any estimates on a reasonable maximum?
I'll ask a mate to post the results, if I ever get around to it and stop
being such a fucking wuss.

Well, its christmas eve.  I'm about to go and be happy with some people.
I think most of my life has been spent trying to make people think I'm
happy, not much point really, especially when it all breaks down like it
did the other day and I had to spend the afternoon in a pub just so I
could get the speech for my brothers wedding done.  Then I had to go to
dinner with my brother's fiancee's family, and just before we went in I
told my family just how fucked everything is, which is not a nice thing
to hear just before your son gets married.  But that was OK, because I
was happy again by the time I got in, but I think I overdid because then
I had an incredibly pissed lady next to me attempting to feel me up.
Sigh.  But why the hell am I telling you this?

Merry fucking Christmas.

Fraser (who wishes he'd forged this article, but its too late).
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: freier@mail.physics.utah.edu (rodney james freier)
Subject: Re: Christmas comes but once a year
Organization: University of Utah - Physics Department
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 92 06:58:29 GMT

In article <1992Dec26.61225.24935@ms.uky.edu>, justin@hp750.ccs.uky.edu (Justin Sullivan) writes:
|> 
     [ more things deleted.  so sue me. ]
|> 
|> Life is not crappy and unfair. <surprise!> People are. More to the point,
|> UNHAPPY people are. Life is beautiful.. Society isn't. We build cities
|> that aren't fit to live in, work and play around things that aren't
|> good for us, and deal with laws that only help to make us unhappier still.
|> 
|> (I was walking the dog when that hit me..)
|> 

   Careful.  You're getting a little too close to anger.  That might make
you try to do something to change society, heaven (or the equivalent) forbid.
You know what kind of dissapointments and disasters THAT would lead to.  

Rod

P.S.  Stay away from your dog.  He seems to be a revolutionary.
  
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Christmas Survivors?
Date: 1 Jan 93 17:03:22 GMT
Organization: AND Software BV Rotterdam

In article <1992Dec28.195801.13866@pegasus.com> alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe) writes:
|Looks like most of us survived Christmas this year..now we brace for
|New Years..for some of you (from past writings) this seems to be a
|bad time..it has never bothered me..I ususally either party and get
|drunk or just forget it and go to sleep..

Christmas is a pagan party. It was a pagan party and it will always
be a pagan party! Bring in the booze!

|Christmas was easier for me this year because I had company from out
|of the country..and it was fun to show them around..be around new
|people and I *do* enjoy little Killi..we roam the malls together..

Aaaaaarrrrrghhh! Not those silly malls again! I *hate* malls! I'd
rather kill myself than going into one of those horrible things! (shiver)

|And ..it *is* open season for little screaming spoiled kiddos all year!

There should be a constitutional law against those little noisy dwarfs!

|Hope the rest of you found it as painless as possible..    

Well, it's january the first here and it's just that terrible hangover
that's trying to kill me now ... and there's still some blood left in
my champagne veins (burb)

toodle pigs,

Jos aka The Dutch Mountain Man
From: brown@NCoast.ORG (Stan Brown)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Christmas comes but once a year
Date: 24 Dec 92 16:01:53 GMT
Organization: Oak Road Systems, Cleveland Ohio USA

In article <9235917.11404@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU> fraser@munta.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Fraser Wilson) writes:
>afterwards.  Actually, I wouldn't mind going out via the ol' wrist
>slash, because what I could do would be to get a whole bunch of litre or
>pint containers, and try to fill as many of them up before losing
>consciousness.  Does anyone have any estimates on a reasonable maximum?

Reminds me of a scene from "health" class my freshman year in college:

        Coach:   How much blood is there in the human body?
        
        Student: Four to five quarts.
        
        Coach:   And how much of it can you lose?
        
        Student: All of it.
        
Yes, I know that's not the question you asked.  But I like the story.
     
        
-- 
Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems                      brown@Ncoast.ORG
"If you click on its capital, Ouagadougou, you'll hear its name
pronounced--in this instance, a most helpful feature."  
                                  --PC Magazine, 92/12/22, pg 352
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: underdog@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dwight Joe)
Subject: Re: Christmas comes but once a year
Organization: Miners for a Heart of Gold
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 92 00:14:49 GMT

In article <9235917.11404@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU> fraser@munta.cs.mu.OZ.AU
(Fraser Wilson) writes:
>...
>Sigh.  But why the hell am I telling you this?

Don't question "it"; just accept "it".

>Merry fucking Christmas.

I bought the latest (December 28, 1992) issue of "Time" magazine; I highly
recommend the feature article titled "What Does Science Tell Us About God?".
This is not a preachy article and approaches the matter from an atheistic/
agnostic view.

This should have special appeal for this newsgroup since, according to
the survey that I conducted earlier in the year, 56%+ of the a.s.h.
readers are devout atheists.  An even higher percentage is composed
of atheists and agnostics.

I intend to conduct an experiment in which I will be drunk out of my
mind and will be reading the article again.  Maybe, I can get some insight
(possibly from God, if he exists) as to why life is as crappy and unfair
as it is.

I plan to conduct the experiment sometime during Christmas.
If I come up with anything interesting, I'll let you all know.

------------------------------------------------------------------+------------
Jinsei no imi wa nan desu ka.                Sister, can you      |   \|  |`
Shitte itara oshiete kuremasen ka.           spare a coin?        |    | -+-
                                                                  |   /| / \
Copyright 1992.  Disclaimer:  1 + 1 = 3                           |
------------------------------------------------------------------+------------
From: alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe)
Subject: Re: Christmas Survivors?
Organization: Pegasus,  Honolulu
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 92 08:39:13 GMT

In article <1hqc1pINNia4@life.ai.mit.edu> jprovo@Gnu.ai.mit.edu (The Wandering Pedestal of Angst) writes:
>
> alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe) writes:
>>Looks like most of us survived Christmas this year..now we brace for
>>New Years..for some of you (from past writings) this seems to be a
>>bad time.
>>[deleted]
>>Hope the rest of you found it as painless as possible..    
>
>sorry, nope.
>december is vile...has been since I was about 7 or so [mists of memory].  At
>least the cold on my outside can try to match the inside...
>
>Why, pray tell, does my memory fade for all but trivia and pain?
>
>joe, knowing he'll get more than he wants for that one.
>-- 
>Disclaimer: "I'm the only one foolish enough to claim these opinions as mine."
>jprovo@gnu.ai.mit.edu                                       jzp@gene.ummed.edu
>    Russell Street UN*X Consultations and Development     (NIC handle: JZP)
>                            Rev. Dkr. Nick LaRG0, ASC 

December is normally a vile month..I'm beginning to think there is something
about more sunshine.  THis is my second Christmas in the islands and well..I
...(confession coming)..uh..well..I put up a small living tree..about 2 ft
high..there I said it..me..the hater of christmas..put up a tree..gave and
received presents..amazing..it wasn't great but it wasn't awful.

Things that would have thrown me into a dark terrible funk a year ago..don't
even elicit a tear..i don't know if I'm permanently numb or slightly cured.

But..then..I fear..what happens if we leave here?  I'm not  a bundle of
happy happy joy joy..but I'm not plunging into the dark abyss anymore.

.
:wq
On the other hand..I'm exhibiting my recurrent sort of too much sleep
and too much reading and avoiding people behavior that I exhibit about
every three months.

oh well..New Year's is coming;->

-- 
**************************************************************************
"I don't ask for much..just your heart on a silver platter;-)"
						-Kali
**************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: justin@hp750.ccs.uky.edu (Justin Sullivan)
Subject: Re: Christmas comes but once a year
    <1992Dec26.61225.24935@ms.uky.edu> <1992Dec26.065829.9839@fcom.cc.utah.edu>
Organization: University Of Kentucky, Dept. of Math Sciences
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 1992 07:28:39 GMT

freier@mail.physics.utah.edu (rodney james freier) writes:

>   Careful.  You're getting a little too close to anger.  That might make
>you try to do something to change society, heaven (or the equivalent) forbid.
>You know what kind of dissapointments and disasters THAT would lead to.  

Alright.. I was hoping to avoid having to do this, BUT..
I'm going to have to get mushy.

Do you remember the first time you realized you weren't as wise in the ways
of the world as you thought you were? The first time it happened to me was
just recently.. I was talking to someone who I thought was a complete
bubblehead... My close friends and I always discuss society in your 
typical (dry) 'intellectual' fashion, and so I would expect this to come
from them, but here is a perfectly 'normal' person who you'd never expect
to say something even remotely 'revolutionary..' 

Ahem.. Anyway, as we were talking, I found that we agreed on a lot of things.
It wasn't the fact that she agreed.. It was that I suddenly realized that most
EVERYONE 'agrees' that (as I stated earlier) civilization and society are 
outmoded and not very suitable for people seeking happiness. Talk to someone
in a nice, friendly manner.. let them do most of the talking, and I bet in
no time you'll find they think like you do in many ways. Well, *I* was
surprised! Made me feel like a fool for assuming that I was smarter than
'they' were..

Such a 'discovery' made me feel MUCH better.. I believe that if you just
imagine green grass and blue skies, you will be happy (for the moment, at
least). If EVERYONE imagines green grass and blue skies (and most people seem
to), then eventually, everyone will come around and society will change
to come closer to that daydream. Green grass, blue skies, sweet smells and
warm winds.. Isn't that a pleasant thought? 

>P.S.  Stay away from your dog.  He seems to be a revolutionary.

It's a little toy poodle. Five pounds of fluff with Christmas bows, a kerchief
and named 'Buffy.' Not exactly 'revolutionary' material, but she never does
what she's told..
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: rpowers@panix.com (Richard Powers)
Subject: Re: I have nothing left.  Clarification and continuation.
Organization: PANIX Public Access Unix, NYC
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 02:30:42 GMT

In <C08y74.93F@panix.com> rpowers@panix.com (Richard Powers) writes:

>I found out yesterday that my two "best friends" went to a party New
>Years Eve.  Obviously they didn't invite me.  Now, what gets me is this:

To anyone who got the idea that the two people in question went
"together" as in dating, sorry.  I didn't mean to give that
impression.  Is is _definately_ not true.

>When Steve (friend #1) told me about this, I was shocked.  I told him
>"You realize I'm pissed."  He gets all defensive, like I have no right...

He called me up today.  After the hellos, he says: "I guess you're
still pissed".  I said "yeah".  

Silence.

HIM: "Well, I guess I'll let you go... You can call me when you feel
like talking".  No apology, no nothing.  I just said: "yeah,
whatever", and hungup.


Wanda I haven't heard from, as usual.  Even though I _did_ try to call
her New Years Eve and left a message.

>Well, I wasn't exactly on an even keel at this point anyway, so this
>tottally set me off- adrenaline rush- I was back in before I even
>realized it and I get in a shouting/pushing match with Chris (my...

By the time Chris and the rest got home, it was late and I was asleep.
I got up about 1:30pm, and stayed in my room.  Chris went back up to
school, and never attempted to say anything to me, not even goodbye.








-- 
 Richard Powers    / Disclaimer: My keyboard is \   Computer=Amiga
rpowers@panix.com <  screwy.   Missing  letters  >  Music=Industrial
   Hail Eris!      \ should     be    expected. /   Food=Vegetarian
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: freier@mail.physics.utah.edu (rodney james freier)
Subject: Re: Christmas comes but once a year
Organization: University of Utah - Physics Department
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 92 06:52:34 GMT

In article <1992Dec26.55805.22706@ms.uky.edu>, justin@hp750.ccs.uky.edu (Justin Sullivan) writes:
|> fraser@munta.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Fraser Wilson) writes:
|> 
|>  [stuff deleted.   No. I'm not going to appologise.]
|> 
|> Most people live their lives trying to fool everyone (including themselves)
|> into believing they're happy. You remind me of a friend of mine who
|> always tries to make a nice point, but has to buy a third shoe because he has
|> one in his mouth so much. Your brother and his friends/family may not ever
|> invite you to another one of their reindeer games.. The temptation to tell
|> people how pointless everything is can become quite strong, but I always
|> find myself apologizing about it sooner or later. The irony is that
|> everyone will get a puzzled look on their face when they find you in a pool
|> of your own blood.. You just TOLD them how miserable you were (in so many
|> words), but they'll all ask: "Why would he do something like that?" 
|> Duh..
|> 

I second the motion.  Duh....

Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: underdog@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dwight Joe)
Subject: Re: I have nothing left.
Organization: Miners for a Heart of Gold
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 93 01:43:41 GMT

In article <C08y74.93F@panix.com> rpowers@panix.com (Richard Powers) writes:
>The things in my life that I consider positive have finally dwindled
>down to nothing. ...
>I found out yesterday that my two "best friends" went to a party New
>Years Eve.  Obviously they didn't invite me.  Now, what gets me is this:
>...
>Not just that they didn't especially _want_ me around, but that they
>wanted me out of the picture badly enough that they were willing to
>hurt me this badly.  My guts feel like they're being put through the
>wringer.  I haven't felt this bad since my mother died.  ...And they
>did this to me on purpose.  That isn't something you do to a "friend".

Richard, they aren't friends.  They are something, but they aren't friends.

>... After I hung up on Steve after he got his attitude, I was a wreck.
>MAJORLY upset.  So I slammed the door on my way out of the house, and
>I'm going to get in my car.  My brother bursts out of the house
>something about "slam the door- blah, blah- I'll kick your ass!". ...
>brother).  He's yelling, I'm yelling, and he's threatening me because
>I slammed a fucking door!  After a bit of this, I storm out, all the
>while he's shouting at me.  Shit like- "yeah I _will_ kick your ass"
>"right now", "you _better_ leave!", "and don't come back", and
>assorted "fuck you"s and such were exchanged.

Richard, Chris isn't a brother.  Chris is something, but he isn't a brother.

>.. I've been dealt a shitty hand.  I think its getting time to fold up
>and reshuffle the deck.

How about burning the deck and admitting that life isn't fair and
never will be?

>Lets see if I last 'till my birthday on the 15th...
>... where _is_ that methods file?  What did it say about CO poisoning?

You could try talking this out with Miller and Coors.  They are top
shrinks.  Tops.

------------------------------------------------------------------+------------
Jinsei no imi wa nan desu ka.                Sister, can you      |   \|  |`
Shitte itara oshiete kuremasen ka.           spare a coin?        |    | -+-
                                                                  |   /| / \
Copyright 1992, 1993    Disclaimer:  1 + 1 = 3                    |
------------------------------------------------------------------+------------
From: jprovo@Gnu.ai.mit.edu (The Wandering Pedestal of Angst)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Christmas Survivors?
Date: 29 Dec 92 20:22:17 GMT
Organization: Russel Street UN*X and Caffeine
NNTP-Posting-Host: wombat.gnu.ai.mit.edu
X-method-of-the-minute: dissolve one kilo of cocaine in warm tub. swab entire
X-method-of-the-part-2: body with DMSO. jump in and see if you live to see your
X-method-part-3: heart come thundering out your chest.


 alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe) writes:
>Looks like most of us survived Christmas this year..now we brace for
>New Years..for some of you (from past writings) this seems to be a
>bad time.
>[deleted]
>Hope the rest of you found it as painless as possible..    

sorry, nope.
december is vile...has been since I was about 7 or so [mists of memory].  At
least the cold on my outside can try to match the inside...

Why, pray tell, does my memory fade for all but trivia and pain?

joe, knowing he'll get more than he wants for that one.
-- 
Disclaimer: "I'm the only one foolish enough to claim these opinions as mine."
jprovo@gnu.ai.mit.edu                                       jzp@gene.ummed.edu
    Russell Street UN*X Consultations and Development     (NIC handle: JZP)
                            Rev. Dkr. Nick LaRG0, ASC