From: hsu_wh@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (William H Hsu)
Subject: Slogans composed during the Republican National Convention
Followup-To: poster
Summary: no flames, please
Keywords: slogans, bumper stickers, jokes
Organization: HAC - Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 21:39:24 GMT


Some slogans I thought up during the Republican National Convention (some
of these may be suitable for bumper stickers):

"Bushkin Robbins: 31 vetoes"

"Bar B/Q"  (based on a sign at the Convention reading "Vote B/Q")

(T-Shirt for disk manufacturers, distributors, etc.) "Media Elite"

Top 10 list for favorite RNC speech topics:
(would someone please mail me the real Letterman list, if such exists?)
        10. Blame Congress.
        9. Blame Congress.
        8. Blame Congress.
        7. Take off gloves.
        6. Bash Liberals.
        5. Bash Bill Clinton.
        4. Bash Hillary Clinton.
        3. Bash Murphy Brown [media elite].
        2. Bash everybody else. <-- (or perhaps something about being better
                                        off than we were four years ago)
        1. Inhale.

"America: Highest in Lip [Il?]literacy"

"George Bush: Lipslick"

"`Slick', Mr. Reagan?  SLICK is what came out of the Exxon _Valdez_; SLICK
is what Saddam Hussein left behind in Kuwait; slick is not Bill Clinton."

"When Bob Dole can't tell the difference between `affordable haircuts' and
`affordable health care', you know we're in trouble." (was that slip obvious
enough?)

"Now I know Dole WISHES that all liberal congressmen were in Canada..."
(another Spoonerism he made a bit later; I think the intended phrase was
"liberal candidates for Congress" and was uttered as "liberal congress in
Canada" or something similar)


And now, the low cuts:

"DQ == !IQ" (a sign for wherever you find C programmers)

"I knew [Howdy Doody | Stimpy | Murphy Brown]; [Howdy Doody | Stimpy | Murphy
Brown] was a friend of mine; Mr. Vice President, you're no [Howdy Doody |
Stimpy | Murphy Brown]!"

"Quayle Doesn't Inhale (which explains a lot)"

"Inside Mr. Bush is the heart of an 18-year-old fighter pilot... the stomach
of an 18-year-old Garth [a la Wayne's World], and the thyroid gland of a
118-year-old Vulcan."

Captions underneath a photo of President Bush tossing sushi in the lap of
Miyazawa this spring:
"A Bucket For Monsieur!", or
"The 100-cm hurl", or perhaps
"Never before have so few puked so much on so many." (nahh)
and the best one (by Brad Needham):
"Bushido"

"You say potatoe, I say potato, let's call the whole thing oaf."

(an opportunity for Clinton) "If America is better off after four years of
George Bush and Dan Quayle, then my hair is naturally dried."


And my favorite:

"`Tree huggers'? Mr. Quayle, are you reversing your stance on family values?"
        (okay, okay, now I know that's *really* getting insulting, and I know
        he's a lot more intelligent than he's occasionally made out to be, so
        no flames please :-)

	After some of these appeared on RHF, I emended the above to:
"A popular Republican slur nowadays is `tree hugger'. I don't suppose some
of those lumberheads on the Bush bandwagon are reversing their stance on
family values?"

	If you don't like these, please make up some of your own and send
them to me.  If you do like them:

(1) Let me know if by any chance you actually make a bumper sticker or
T-shirt out of any of them.
(2) Make up more! Post 'n' mail!

- William H. Hsu
hsu@cs.jhu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor