From: hutch@hutch (Stephen Hutchison)
Subject: [KQ] [Nowhere]  In a Dark Quiet Place
Reply-To: hutch@ibeam.intel.com
Organization: Intel Corp., Hillsboro, Oregon
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 92 19:01:31 GMT

Darkness, a cocoon of velvety soft darkness.

Silence, unbroken by even thought.  Then, a dawning realization.

I am aware.  I think.

I think, therefore I rule.

Where am I?  There are no other minds nearby.  I cannot see.  I feel no
bonds, but I am constrained.  My senses are numbed - no smells touch
my sensory tentaclines.  No sounds reach my ears.  No pressure waves touch
on my body.  My fingers feel no texture, my skin feels no heat nor cold.

This is wrong.  My sense of balance is present.  I know I am seated, in
a relaxed position, therefore my kinesthetic sense is present.

What do I remember.  Odd - a sort of gauzy softness between my mind and
my recollections.  I see dimly, shapes.   This is not acceptable.  I WILL
remember my past, it is mine and nobody will rule me.  If I were one of
those who could be ruled by others, I would have remained at home, in the
subterranean cavern, to be directed like a mere foodbeast by the Great
Brain.  I choose my - aha!  That was a memory!  I left home.  I travelled.
I learned many things, the arts of the alchemist.  I have mastered the
first entity of herbs, and the second, and thus I am immune to the common
and uncommon poisons.  I have learned the first entity of fire and the
creation of the alchemic flame.  I took a sideline in my researches.

Yes.  That was the mistake that led to my downfall.  I allowed myself to
be drawn into that foolish conspiracy, that Elstrek creature's try for
power.  I allowed my hungers to rule me; the prospect of a whole city of
dependent foodbeasts, the idea of having the mass of their minds to tap
into and control.  Something must have warped my thinking, somehow.  For
I know that without metamorphosis into the Brain state, I would never be
able to tap the minds of the whole city, and the Brain state requires an
entire city of illithid to feed and protect it, and the sunlight is an
impediment to our powers.  This meddling is unacceptable.  Who has... ah.
There.  The suggestion was placed in my mind when I spoke with Seer.

But it wasn't him.  He must be the puppet of some other being.  Ah, now
I see it.  His continual dithering about his mother, more than the simple
madness it appears.  Some sort of greater power, controlling him, must
have used him to distract me as it insinuated itself past my defenses.

What then.  Weeks, no, months of work, making that drug more potent, more
useful.  Foolish.  The drug spoils the taste of the brains, makes the
nerve endings rot.  What happened next? I remember the attack.  I remember
the lizard and his trident.  Why would I be so foolish as to provoke an
attack from such a being?  More of that interference.  Then the cyberknight
and his Traveller companion.  Even more interference.  I would never waste
the energy required to dominate two such minds - if I were fool enough to
attack them, it would be with the mind-scrambler blast.

It is clear to me.  I was driven to a state of complete paranoia, to a
megalomania which is incompatible with the perfection which is my goal
as an alchemist.  The meddler, whatever it was, will come to regret this.

But first, I must know where I am, what is happening to me.  My name is
Quruuminias, I am an illithid, I have the heritage of powers of mind.
I am somehow blocked from those powers I use to manipulate others, by
this sense of numbness, of leaden heaviness.  I cannot use those powers.

But my powers are not only of mental influence, but also of intellect
and of learning.  I must apply these powers.  First, what is the evidence
of my senses?  I sense no gravity.  My kinesthetic sense would tell
me if there were gravity, thus, I am in a place where there is none.
Since I feel no need to breathe, I am outside of the material planes.
I feel no discomfort, yet I can feel the nerves, in balance, so there
is nothing which could cause pain, nothing hurting me.  That means I am
not in an elemental plane, since they all cause damage in a short time.
Since I feel no other thoughts penetrating my body, I am not in the
Astral plane.  By elimination, I am in the Etherial plane.  I have no
use of some of my senses, yet others remain intact.  If I were injured,
I would be dead by now, especially here where the scavengers are of
an especially lethal nature.  Thus, I must be in constraint and also
guarded.  Probably a stasis of some kind.  This would explain the numb
sensation cushioning my thoughts, as well.

My memories grow more ordered now - I recall, first, the nightmarish
time when I was held in the Traveller's illusion.  I was thrown clear
of the Material plane.  Compulsion siezed me.  I fetched the notes
and samples from the office, foolish - I was at such a low ebb, it cost
me most of my remaining strength.  I went aimlessly through the ether,
too weak to reach any of the other planes.  The white creature came up
to me, I remember the trident, the unthinking fear it inspired.  Why
should I fear the trident?  It has no specific power over me, no more
than any other weapon of power.  It must be something that the other
entity feared, and I was sharing the echo of that fear.

I remember, the intense curiousity of the white creature as it probed
into my mind, the numbness as it stopped the frantic loops of paranoia.
I owe it for that service, even though it was an effrontery.  I will
repay both, in time, but there are other things to consider first.

I will wait - it must intend to return, or it would not have warded me.
Thus, once it has returned, once I am free, when I am better prepared,
I will destroy that foolish Seer and the creature that rules him, that
"mother" he babbles about.

I will wait.  I will regain strength.  I think.  Therefore I rule.