From: baindur@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (Satyen G Baindur)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian
Subject: Inter-racial Dating survey ....
Date: 27 Jan 93 16:28:20 GMT
Organization: Homewood Academic Computing, Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, Md, USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu



 I came across an 'Inter-racial Dating Survey' on soc.couples recently.
I had earlier posted results of a similar 'attitude survey' I conducted 
on s.c.i. and s.c.i.a ( our short-lived pre-cursor). I am posting here 
a subset of the soc.couples survey where there was an Indian mentioned as 
part of the couple. The entire survey is long, and can be seen in 
soc.couples. All the couples described are IAF/WM. I thought  we 
could gain by reading and discussing this issue ....

Selected sections from article follow ...


------------------------------------

I am 19 years old and have been living the states ever since I was a
baby.  I am originally from India and have very orthodox parents.  They
believe in arrange marriages etc.  I have been dating a guy who is a
Mormon for the past year though out of the year he has been on his
mission for the past 5 months and still has 19 more left before he gets
back to see me again.  While he is on his mission he can not date other
girls and we are practically engaged.  My parents don't have the
knowledge of as to what has been going on.  His parents love the idea
that we want to get married when he returns from his mission.  His
community has accepted us as one.  Its the Indian community that has
been having a hard time to accept us and they have not been talking to
me ever since I started going out with him.  What I feel is the his
community accepts the relationship with a more open mind as compared to
mine.

------------------------------------

In my experience (she's from India, I'm caucasian), it hasn't been a
problem. Over the holidays we went and visited just about every family
member I have, and we experienced nothing out of the ordinary. Of
course, I'm fortunate in that my family is far from the uptight,
narrow-minded bigot type. Our ages may also have something to do with it
(late 20s - early 30s); when teenagers get involved interracially
parents sometimes see it as some sort of rebellion statement as opposed
to a real relationship.

There's a fairly decent book on this subject called "Different Worlds"
which I found at the local library. Although aimed at teenagers, it
gives a good idea of what life can be like for an interracial couple.

------------------------------------


I've been dating this sikh indian girl (asian, of course) for over 5
years.  This year we have plans on getting married since I will be done
with my education.  The only people who know about us, on her side of
the family, is her only sister and a cousin in California.
        
Telling a sikh girl's parents that the person she's going to marry is an
american is a death wish, for all involved.  I'm not sure her parents
are at all understanding, for if they were we would have told them by
now.
        
I guess the thing which bothers me the most is that her parents have
decided to come to america over 15 years ago.  They are not strong in
their religious beliefs, but they have very stong feelings on who their
daughter will marry.  Stubborn, yes.  Racist, yes.  Will they accept me,
probably not, but who knows.  If they do, they gain a son, else, they
lose a daughter.

--------------------------------------


-- 
   "History is not high mystery for high priestly historians"
                       John Charmley, Lecturer in History,
                      University of East Anglia at Norwich