From: martin@adpgate.UUCP (Martin Golding)
Newsgroups: rec.motorcycles
Subject: An apology, and a change of .sig
Date: 6 Apr 92 22:23:44 GMT
Article-I.D.: adpplz.1272
Organization: ADP Dealer Services R&D, Portland, OR


I have a long, sad tale to tell of Martin "No Harley Yet :{(" Golding,
a silly old fool who spent all his savings on trinkets and gizmos and
somehow lost his dream by the wayside.

So if you're posting from a "no tears" area, you better just hit "n" now.


Some five or so years ago, I began explaining to my wife that it was
necessary that I get a Harley Davidson. I wasn't getting any younger,
they weren't getting any cheaper, and besides, I deserved one. (I didn't,
but she was too nice to contradict me.)

She got convinced when I explained that elderly^H^H^H^H^H^H^H old^H^H^H we
mature men have a tendency to go through a psychological trauma as we aged,
and that we were likely to acquire one of a mistress, a red sports car, or
a big motorcycle. She considered purchase and upkeep and allowed that under
the circumstances a Harley was probably the most survivable choice. (Unless
I could find a mistress that did windows, which I considered unlikely.)


About two years ago we made a deal that I could liquidate a stock option
so I could finally afford one of them Harley things. That gave me a 
budget in the ~$5000 range. I needed a motorcycle that could carry both
of us in reasonable comfort, and we're both larger sizes. So I started
looking for a reasonable condition big Harley cruiser, all of which are
~$6000 and up. I was patient, but determined. No advertisement escaped
my gaze, and the local Harley shop was becoming annoyed by my unprofitable
attentions. But the best price I could find on a _running_ Harley was
still about five hundred to a thousand out of range.

About a year ago, I found the net, whereon was the usual ongoing discussion
of the merits of the BMW GS. Kind of a neat idea, I thought, big old twin
cylinder large displacement motorcycle with extra protection for bouncing
off rocks and trees. But not a Harley, no? So I asked the nice net people
to please change the subject, or start discussing some of the downsides
of the GS. I got stuff like this:

(John Osborn:)

> They look silly with a springer front-end.
> Instead of finding yourself wanting to buy lots of expensive Harley-Davidson
>   accessories, you find yourself wanting to buy lots of expensive BMW
>   accessories.  BMW key ring, BMW beach towel, BMW gloves, BMW leathers, ...
> Instead of getting together with Harley riders to go drink beer, you
>   end up getting together with other BMW riders to go drink beer.

[This is supposed to help?]


(Ed Green:)

> It's ugly.

[Like a HD is a work of modern sculpture? Although the GS wins hands down.]


(ericm@microunity.com:)

> Parts are very very expensive.  Even more than harley parts.
> But then, they never need them.

[cute. Not helpful, but cute.]


(Ron Miller:)

> The seat gets kinda hard after about 4 or 5 hours riding.
> Adjusting the valves is a smaller job than it oughta be.
> It's too easy to go fast on backroads. It's worse on gravel roads!
> It's not ready to take me home when the clock says it's time.

> And what I *really* don't like about it is that I have to work for a
> living and so it doesn't get ridden as much as I'd like!


(Chuck Cole:)

> Idles at a high 600-900 rpm, not 500-800.
> No reverse gear option, nor hydraulic center stand option.
> No factory chrome side panels.. and few swastikas offered anywhere
> JC Whitney doesn't offer options for mounting foxtails and wheel lights


Anyway, many of you driveled on for page after page of that stuff, and I'd
like to point out that except for Tim Keane:

> bmw's are great for thousands and thousands of passionless faultfree miles.
> the ultimate faceless commuter bike.  if that's what you want, then buy it.

NOBODY WAS ANY HELP AT ALL! In case anybody else has a problem, and was
thinking about asking rec.moto to assist, don't bother.


So we were driving home one evening soon after and I said to my wife, 
"Talk me out of an R100GS"  and she said "What's that?" and I said "sort of
a BMW scrambler type motorcycle" and she said "I've always wanted a BMW". 
(Go figure. It isn't like she drives these things herself.) 

So I chatted with people on the net and shopped around, and discovered that
while nobody sold used GS's that still ran, it was possible to get a
touring sized BMW for very much less than big Harleys. In fact, one could
get a touring sized BMW and a pocket sized Harley _both_ for less than a
touring sized Harley, with a little luck. So I went back to Carol and said: 
"Actually, what we need is two motorcycles" and she said "OK" (not for sale,
not for trade, she's all mine.)

Within a month we were the proud owners (well, she was proud, anyway) of
an R100/7, which she began referring to as "our motorcycle" with an 
occasional careless "_her_ motorcycle". And Carol made the garage magically
clean and empty, and the BMW moved right in, much to the surprise of my
poor Virago who had spent the last ten years out in the rain rusting.
(Some of you know her from the poem "Wasserman's Ride" recently posted here)


And instead of a two-person $5000 HD cruiser, I was in the market for
a ~$3000 sportster. Which as it turns out are also built of large quantities
of the rare and valuable metal "unobtainium". Harley Davidsons seem to be
always $500 more than I can afford.

In the meantime, I'd been harassing Chris Perez about all those Ducatis
in his garage, and he'd begun to explain to me the Mysteries of the
Ducati Grin. (Ducati riders wear fullface helmets so when the grin meets
in back, the slipstream doesn't catch under their nose and rip the top of
their head clean off.) One day I made the mistake of remarking that it
didn't matter, I couldn't _afford_ a Ducati, and he said they could be
had for less even than Harley sportsters. In fact, given the HORRIBLE
alternative of seeing me ABUSE myself in such an AWFUL way, he allowed as
to how he might, given the right incentive, even consider selling me one
of his GTs, if he ever got some of them working.

The incentive turned out to be an incredibly complicated deal where we
got his truck and one of the Ducatis, and he got my RD400 Daytona Special,
both of our dead LeCars, and a great deal of money. But not as much
as for a sportster, so I had enough left over that when I found an old R5
in a salvage shop and remembered how much more fun my RD350 was than
my RD400, I could buy it. (The RD400 chassis was redesigned to keep the
front wheel on the ground. An incredible misapplication of engineering.)

Which pretty much spent all my motorcycle money, what with my wife's
Toronado breaking, along with the R100/7's alternator and a wheel bearing
on my sidecar rig, and me replacing the exhaust system on my Virago like
I promised Gary Wasserman.

So here I am, after only a year on the net, broke, my garage stuffed full
of lesser breeds, with neither cash nor room for my dreambike, which seems
more and more impossible every day. Log off now, don't let this happen
to you!


So, with an abject apology for all the noise, and a gloomy reconstruction
of my .sig (some of it, at least, appears salvageable), I creep humbly
into the outer silence with nothing but all of my newfound friends and
an eclectic collection of broken motorcycles to keep me company.


So why can't I stop smiling?

Martin (no middle name) Golding    |        BMW R100/7  "Britt"
DoD #236 BMWMOA #55952 WMTC #0002  |  BMW 750/6/2+Ural  "Treaty of Leningrad"
      and KotP                     |     Ducati 860 GT  "the White Lady"
                                   |         Yamaha R5  "Dead Ringer"
[motcsd!]mcspdx!adpgate!martin     |     Yamaha XV750J  "Julia Tiberius"
Newsgroups: rec.motorcycles