From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: A Balanced Diet (Was Re: Halloween Stories)
Date: 10 Nov 92 23:07:03 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California

In article <1992Nov6.214712.21269@crd.ge.com> vivier@hamal.crd.ge.com (Barbara Vivier) writes:
>
>There are two facets to this situation:
>1) He prefers to rummage through the cheese drawer than eat most meats,
>vegies or fruits

Let him eat cheese.  Seriously, have you ever binged on a food?  Generally
it doesn't take long to burn out on the food and crave something else.  BUT
the child must be alert enough to his body to understand this.  And for that
the child must be able to regulate his own food in order to learn how to 
listen to his body.

>2) He prefers to have almost anything sweet instead of most meats, vegies
>or fruits
>

Well, fruits are sweet.  In fact, we consider them a dessert.  My guess is
that you don't let him try for himself and are the kind of person that would
just freak out before allowing your child to eat a hot fudge sundae for dinner.

If this is the case, then he has already picked up the message that sweets
are somehow less desireable than meats, fruits, or vegetables (by the way,
why aren't grains in this list?).  

>So:
>
>1) if one adopts the attitude of letting them eat whatever and whenever
>they want, how does one avoid making separate meals for them and having
>wasted food when they choose other foods than the ones you've just prepared?
>

Well, the obvious answer is to ask your child what he wants for dinner
before preparing the meal.  That's what my husband asks me.  I am never forced
to eat meat loaf because he made meat loaf.  If I want a ham sandwich I am
free to make one for myself.

I believe that if you do serve family meals then people who prefer not to eat
that meal, for whatever reason, should have the option of preparing a snack
for themselves.  Obviously at age 2 you can't really let them do the whole
preparation, but we keep crackers and cheese and apples available and that
doesn't require a lot of effort to stick those on a plate.

>2) if they want to snack on even "healthy" foods 10 minutes before dinner,
>what happens when the rest of the family sits down to dinner?  (or is that
>a myth about the family dinner?)

The myth is that children are capable of waiting for food when they are hungry
in the way that adults are.  The younger the child the more this is true.  So
what happens if they snack?  Does that mean they don't have something valuable
to add to the conversation even if they aren't hungry and don't want to eat.

What do you do now when your children finish eating before the adults do?  If
they only have to be at the table while they are eating, then you will have 
a problem if a child has already eaten.  But if you have dinner time to not
just eat, but also provide the family with some social time together, the child
can learn to sit at the table and converse (at least by 4, but not for hours
at a time).
>
>3) How does one encourage (but not force ;-) ) a child to try new foods?
>
>

By eating them yourself.  I have yet to find myself eating something that my
children don't immediately want a bite of.  In fact, for the past year
Mitchell has had a real dislike of spicy foods.  We had some Szechuan (along
with milder versions of chinese food) Saturday night.  I said, "It's spicy.
You probably won't like it."  But he wanted to try it anyway.  He told me it
was not too spicy and he did too like it.

>I do believe in the philosophy presented.  We need help with the
>implementation details.
>

Then you should not follow it.  Because you cannot follow a procedure with
your children that you don't believe in.  If you don't believe in it because
you are convinced it won't work, I offer you my children as an example that
it does, at least so far.  If you don't believe in it because you believe that
white sugar really is evil, then you and I differ on opinions regarding
nutrition.  Either way, I am not trying to make converts.  I am simply sharing
what works, and works well, for us.

I recommend it not only because it works (my children eat a wide variety of
foods and thus have nutritionally balanced diets) but because it also makes
life so much easier on both parents and children.  Food battles are a major
source of aggravation between many parents and children (witness the mother
who made 5 dinners to ensure her toddler would eat enough - last week's
20/20).  Eating disorders are far too common among not just our young people.
And making food a contest of wills between parent and child is such an
unnecessary waste of time, not to mention the destructive repurcusions.

I recommend this method because it simplifies our lives.  
-- 
Judy Leedom Tyrer

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"	- William Blake