HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mcregor@s.psych.uiuc.edu (Meloney Cregor)
Subject: Re: buying things
Organization: Dept. of Psychology, Univ. of Illinois, Urbana
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 00:15:16 GMT

In article <1992Apr6.151353.28217@casbah.acns.nwu.edu> drmax@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Marianna Max) writes:
>
>Hey Mel, I know of this really great beach along the Yucatan Penn that you
>have to hike (from where the bus drops you off) two miles of jungle to get
>to. Bordering it is an old coconut plantation with some old buildings. The 
>beach lies along a lagoon protected by a reef. Absolutely the clearest
>bluest water imaginable. On a headland in the middle of the lagoon is an 
>old ruin of a Mayan lighthouse. Coconuts year round, fish and conch and
>lobster in the reef that you can spear. The jungle is interesting too,
>orchids and iguana and an occasional unidentified. I didn't see another 
>soul the whole week that I camped there. 


    SOLD!!!!!!

Where do I sign?  Sounds like heaven to me.



Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson)
Subject: Re: Why? Bud Dry?
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 92 21:29:23 GMT

In article <1992Apr8.161127.5356@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com> puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com (Software Dude) writes:
>
> GCTHORNE@idbsu.idbsu.edu shouts uncontrollably:
>>        You win DAN! WIN WIN WIN.
>
>Say it ain't so!!!! I was hoping that DAVE would win the decathalon.

Me too.  I wanna see his name in all the headlines.

-- 
  Dave Johnson

"You're not too smart, are you?  I like that in a man."
    --Kathleen Turner in Body Heat
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Wednesday, 15 Apr 1992 19:38:38 CDT
From: <U53644@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Love: Is it a power thing?

The previous writer asks if love is a power thing..................

     That depends on what you mean by love. Certainly one can easily find
     people who will tell you that they are in a relationship who operate on
     that level, but I wouldn't call that love. Sex would be about it.

     Love, among other things, includes a GREAT concern for the other's
     happiness and well being. One treats one's SO fairly and kindly not
     because s/he is in a strong negotiating position, but because one wants
     to. What you're describing here sounds more like a business arraingement.

     Pardon me if this strikes you as trite or naive, but if your SO is
     operating on this level, can you really say that you put a lot of trust in
     in this person? After all, power games imply the willingness to take
     advantage of the other. If you can't trust your SO, if you can feel no
     more at ease with her or him than with an unusually nasty business
     associate, what is the point of having a SO? Sex? A prostitute could do as
     much for you (either gender). I'd hope for a lot better than that (and
     definitely would offer better than that).

                                 Joseph B. Dunphy
                                "A little knowledge is a terrible thing.
                                 That's why I have to get two grad degrees
                                 to get my first job. AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: Larry Margolis <margoli@watson.ibm.com>
Subject: Re: More helpful Hints
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 19:50:50 GMT
Distribution: soc
Reply-To: margoli@watson.IBM.com
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: The Village Waterbed

In  <1992Apr13.093740.11655@vax5.cit.cornell.edu>  swt@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
>
> Besides, they make great gifts for friends.  And strangers.  And
> especially enemies.
>
> (Welcome to Peach Tree Circle!  With every purchase you get a free
> cucumber!  WHETHER YOU WANT ONE OR NOT.)

I suppose I shouldn't ask where you get it.  And whether it varies for
friends and enemies...

Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women,soc.men,alt.fan.q
From: tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Request : Dating advice from women
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sun, 5 Apr 92 21:40:46 GMT

In article <1992Apr4.045739.17088@access.digex.com> deja-q@access.digex.com (Lin Yon Q) writes:
>In article <92087.002219U53644@uicvm.uic.edu> <U53644@uicvm.uic.edu> writes:
>>As the subject suggests, I'd like to encourage any women reading this to give
>>their advice on dating in general. [...]
>
>My dating advice:  don't date feminists.  Everyone knows they're bad
>in bed.

Whooo-boy, I have to disagree with that one.  I have absolutely no
complaints about the effects of feminism on bedroom enjoyment.

Trygve    (Ah, memories....)

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: want-sex(women) < want-sex(men)
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 92 20:39:27 GMT

In article <kuouosINNcdt@news.bbn.com> dhardin@spcink.bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
>In article <1992Apr15.184422.10973@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>>
>>You know, I've been in a fairly lusty mood lately myself--I may just go
>>get a few more data points myself.
>
>
>ANALYZE ME, ANALYZE ME, you brute.

Why, you're in luck--I just happen to have my, ah, test equipment with
me....

Trygve    (First, we'll need to check depth and duration--and then we'll
           hook up the frequency counter....)
From: rawdon@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu (Michael Rawdon)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: The 'first' 'move' (was Re: A R C )
Date: 10 Apr 92 05:18:13 GMT
Reply-To: rawdon@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Dept., Madison, WI

In <1992Apr9.192721.22280@morrow.stanford.edu> FA.TJM@forsythe.stanford.edu (thom mckean) writes:
>In article <1992Apr9.155415.5466@spool.cs.wisc.edu>, rawdon@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu (Michael Rawdon) writes:
>>I think that the person who asks for the date made the first move.
>>Especially if he is not certain that there IS any mutual interest.

>What if the date is set up by a third party?  Ya know, one of those
>"Oh, I've got a friend you should meet" kinda thangs.  Is the third
>party responsible for making the first move?  And if there is a
>third party, why wasn't I invited to the first two?

>Extrapolating from this, if two people meet at a party, is the
>person throwing the party responsible for bringing those two
>together?  If so, does it follow that the holder of the party gets
>the "aggressive" notch, and consequent power over the relationship?

>If I'm promised to another at birth, did my parents make the first
>move?

I think that your questions bring up an important point:  What is the
MEANING of having made the "first move"?  Certainly not some sort of "power
over the relationship" or anything like that.

In the case of a third party, making the "first move" might mean that the
third party who brought two people together would have the right to feel
like he did a good thing if things work out (though hopefully not be
obnoxious about it).  It would NOT, I think, make the other two indebted to
him.

In the case of one person asking another person out, what I think that it
means is that the person who makes the "first move" is the one risking
rejection, and whatever events that rejection entails.  (Feeling stupid
for not knowing that the askee was already married, for instance.)

Um... okay.  Your ball.

-- 
Michael Rawdon
rawdon@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu
University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Department, Madison, WI

After the fire, the fire still burns;
The heart grows old, but never, ever learns;
The memory smoulders, the soul always yearns.
After the fire, the fire still burns.
					- Pete Townshend
From: eyc@acpub.duke.edu (EMIL CHUCK)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: The "first" "move" (was Re: A R C )
Summary: Phone numbers
Keywords: Phone numbers
Date: 14 Apr 92 01:01:53 GMT
Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.


I often ask or phone numbers when I ask girls/women to write me and give
them my address and phone number. Although I'd write them letters, I hope
that they take the initiative to call me if they really, really like me
that much. More often than not, I'll surprise them with a phone call when
they least expect it. (Of course, sometimes, I call them when they'd rather
not get calls: the "boyfriend is within full body contact" deal.)
-- 
Emil Thomas Chuck		DUKE BLUE DEVILS: 1992 ACC CHAMPIONS!
Biomedical Engineer 1993	1992 EAST REGIONAL CHAMPIONS!!
Duke University, Durham, NC	AND 1992 NCAA NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: The Second Move
Date: 17 Apr 92 20:12:29 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Apr17.035455.12847@u.washington.edu> hevern@cac.washington.edu (M. Hevern) writes:
|In article <1992Apr15.184218.7839@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>, kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
|> Yes, there would be fewer problems if women tried to achieve real
|> communication and not this vague read my signals stuff. Communication
|> that included words.
|
|**BINGO** We have a winner. Words will do wonders when used in a descriptive and coherent way. On the other hand I've got a weege(sp?) board...

The problem is that sometimes it is difficult to easily communicate using
words with every MOTAS that you come in contact with.  What I mean is that
the person might be across the room or in a crowd. Before communicating
using words you might need to send signals and try to interpret signals
from the other party.  Sometimes those signals are going to be subtle but
they are an important part of the communication process.  You can communicate
with all the words you want but if the other party doesn't want to be 
approached at all by you the words aren`t going to do any good.  If you can,
however, establish through eye contact, a smile, more eye contact, another
smile, a stolen glance back your way, a blush, or any other signal that you
have learned through experience that the other party may want to be approached,
communicating with words is going to be a whole lot easier.

-- 
+=============================================================================+
| John Fereira                Al Bundy for President          
| johnf@auspex.com         "He's as good as the next guy"                     |
+=============================================================================+
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Peeking through the curtain
Date: 9 Apr 92 08:51:14 GMT
Article-I.D.: lynx.byrjs0+
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

Gee, I'm starting to feel like Ed W. here ';-)

There is nothing wrong with open relationships...I've never seen one work, so
I can't say anything from personal observation, but I can believe they are a
viable option for two consenting adults.

Part of how this discussion got started, though, was on cheating on an SO
or spouse. That's what I was directing comments towards- I >know< that open
relationships are dandy...(though certainly not for me.)
r.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: drmax@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Marianna Max)
Subject: Re: Newspaper personals phenomena
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 13:28:05 GMT

In article <1992Apr16.230656.28523@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> mcregor@s.psych.uiuc.edu (Meloney Cregor) writes:
>In article <1992Apr16.191119.27712@spool.cs.wisc.edu> rawdon@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu writes:
>
>>You mean that I just need to put food out on my doorstep and wait a while?
>
>Could be.  When I read this I had visions of a champagne picknick on the
>back step.  Could be an interesting approach to meeting folks.  Set it up
>and see who shows up. 
>
>
Better set it up on the front steps or all you'll attract are people who wander
the backyards and alley ways.

MaX
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: michele@dgbt.doc.ca (Michele Guillet)
Subject: Re: Needing not to Need
Organization: The Communications Research Centre, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 92 18:36:28 GMT

In article <BM9L6v.1yq@world.std.com> unicorn@world.std.com (unicorn) writes:
>New subject: How does one stop needing?
>
>I know that need is not an attractive quality, and think of the type
>of person you'd probably meet if it were, but how do you stop needing?
>
>The tradegy is that the only time that I feel like I have a chance of 
>freeing myself from my deep seeded need is when I am with a woman.  I 
>start taking emotional changces again, risking, living.  But with that 
>comes dealing with old pain and rejection that has been hidden for eons.
>Then I start needing affection to overcome the the old pains, ( putting some
>
>So tell me please, how do you give up the need?  How do you ignore the 
>fact that you can actually have what you always want?  When I'm with a
>woman I care about I feel like a starving man at a banquet.  But when I
>start wolfing down food, I get kicked out.  How can I stop wolfing?
>
>Any suggestions?


A few.

Deal with old pain, and that usually means experiencing it
and not ignoring it. Like a number of people have suggested therapy is
a good way to deal with it. 

Nurture yourself so that you aren't aas needy. That requires you to take
care of yourself in ways that will meet your needs if you are like most
people you probably will need to try different ways before finding what
work for you. 

Find other sources of emotional support in addition to the person
you are romantically involved with. Invest in friendships, strenghten
family relationships (if you have good family relationships),
give to people in need (volunteer at your favourite charity, become
a Big Brother, get involved in your community, ...)

If you like animals, get a pet. Dogs provide as close to 
unconditional love as it can be. Cats also make nice companions.

By having your needs met at different sources you are not as likely
to go dry and not as likely to overwhelmed people.

-- 
Michele Guillet 			The Communications Research Centre 
3701 Carling Avenue, Ottawa, Ontario, CANADA, K2H 8S2	tel:613-998-2384
Internet: michele@dgbt.doc.ca	
Organization: Senior, Civil Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Date: Thu,  9 Apr 1992 20:52:56 -0400 
From: "Peter A. Simon" <ps3p+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Avoiding dating married people
	<1992Apr9.152507.5084@dgbt.doc.ca>

>That's one thing I insist to have with the men I date, their home numbers
>and I make sure to tell them that I will call and I do call without
>giving a specific time.
> 
>That's a relatively easy way to find out if someone is involved
>in a live-in relationship or is married. The other thing I do is ask
>up front, a number of people who wouldn't tell you, will not deny
>it when directly asked.
> 
>Since I don't want to get involved with someone who is seriously
>involved with someone, these two things are useful.

I have a second line going into my study.  I keep the ringer on the
phone disabled and it is hooked up to an answering machine.  When a
woman I am dating asks for my number, this is the one she gets.

So Michele, your paranoia is wasted.

Peter
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.couples,soc.men,soc.women
From: hevern@cac.washington.edu (M. Hevern)
Subject: Re: Older men and younger women (advice needed)
Organization: U.W. Information Systems
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 07:15:47 GMT

In article <rtkc8INNgao@agate.berkeley.edu>, epg@nature.berkeley.edu writes:
> How much stigma is really attatched to dating someone older/younger?  Is
> dating a younger woman something that men want to do in fantasy, but not
> reality?   I don't want to have this happen every time I start a
> relationship with someone older than me, so if you have any
> advice/wisdom to share, I'd like to read it.

Well I don't know about men, but with women alot! Or, to quel the flames "some" women. I met my X-SO when I was 19. She was 38. Whe knew each other for about a year, then fell in love. Yea, love.

We spent two years dealing with the age thing upfront. ie: I don't want my freinds to know about you. Don't tell anyone how old you are. etc, etc...

This was a real drag. Then one day her mother came to visit (after 6 years), and after telling her my age it ceased to be an issue. Also, I was 27, we lived in another part of the country, and kinds of other good reasons (besides time) made it easier for her to deal with.

As someone on the recieving end of that, I can tell you it has *REAL* bad effects on the relationship. Your "elder" finds ways to try to push you out the door. You definitley need to be in love to put up with the shit, and deal with the pain inflicted on you for no apparent good reason. You also need to watch out for the "Me adult. You child." routine, because the person dealing that line is not an adult.

Needles to say, with time the issues changed, Thus we have a story about my X-SO.

-- 	MH (Love, like ingnorance, is bliss)
       *--------------------------------*------------------------------*
       | Michael Hevern			| Voice: (206) 685-3229        |
       | University Of Washington	| * "I can't dance...          |
       | Information Systems		|    I can't talk...           |
       | 4545 15th Ave. NE		|    The only funny thing about|
       | Seattle, WA 98105		|    me is the way I walk."    |
       | Mail Stop: JE-41               |       -- Genesis             |
       *--------------------------------*------------------------------*
	Disclaimer: If I said it I probably meant it.  My employer isn't
		responsible for my opinions.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: rmelvil@hughes.hacgate.UUCP (Richard Melville)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Discussion Of Romantic Songs
Date: 15 Apr 92 17:29:29 GMT
Organization: Hughes Aircraft of Canada Limited, Calgary AB
In-reply-to: wjb@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM's message of 8 Apr 92 14:48:45 GMT

In article <3840056@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM> wjb@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Bill Buse) writes:

> For a change of topics, how about a discussion of romantic songs or 
> favorite songs that could be considered to be romantic.  :-)  

4 Tops, "Loving you is sweeter than ever"

--
----------------                        "I want to spend more money on bikes.
Richard Melville			 I think I need to see a psychiatrist."
Hughes Spatial Data Systems Division     Dave Bridges
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Burp. (was Re: THE ELEMENTS OF SEDUCTION)
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 92 20:52:10 GMT

In article <1992Apr15.170541.4176@mks.com> fredw@mks.com (Fred Walter) writes:
>tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>>I absolutely don't want to resurrect the "men want it more" argument, but
>>I'm still puzzled by just how emotionally important "men wanting it more"
>>seems to be to a lot of men.
>
>Try this explanation on for size :
>
>	A typical male wants some sex. But he's not getting any, because,
>	in general, women are not interested in having sex with him. It's
>	more comforting for him to believe that emphasis is on "women are
>	not interested in having sex" rather than on "with him". The former
>	belief is less damaging to his self-esteem.

Good point--that makes more sense than the reason that I'd posted (though
I'd suspect that mine may also occasionally come into play).  

>>The only even plausible reason I can think of for this would be a very deep,
>>ego-threatening fear of not being able to satisfy women sexually if they
>>really have the high sexual appetites that they certainly seem to.
>
>That's what other women are for. Of course, you then run the risk of your
>girlfriend liking the other women more than she likes you and dumping you.

Hey, it's happened to me often enough--but usually I know in advance that,
though they'd consider a fling with a man, they wouldn't actually want a
serious involvement with one.  

>	fred "I think it was the gas that made me post this" walter
>-- 
>Disclaimer: everything I post is my *personal* opinion and does not represent
>or reflect the opinion of the company which employs me.

Trygve 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: FA.TJM@forsythe.stanford.edu (thom mckean)
Subject: Re: DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER...
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 21:16:44 GMT

In article <12345@auspex-gw.auspex.com>,
johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>In article <1992Apr6.164453.11923@u.washington.edu> intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu
>(Angelwing) writes:
>|In article <1992Apr6.130849.17065@cbnewsd.cb.att.com> nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com
>|(nancy.l.colucci) writes:
>|>
>|>Lick-'m-Aid?
>|>
>|>-Nance
>|
>|Flavor Straws?
>|
>Care for a Pez?  I've got a Pez dispenser in my desk.  There's only
>a few red ones left.
>
Pixie Stix.  Cocaine for kids.

Thom

and didja hear about the kid who died when he drank soda while
eating Pop Rocks?
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Trygve's 'Masculinity'
Date: 10 Apr 92 05:51:13 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <MARTINC.92Apr8101722@grover.cs.unc.edu> martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>Wait, Ron -- are you claiming that you *do* understand men?

I sure as hell understand them better than I understand women, who still
blessedly and evilly confuse me to no end on many an occassion...
r.
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Monday, 6 Apr 1992 15:14:35 CDT
From: <U53644@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: THE ELEMENTS OF SEDUCTION was (Re: Request : Dating advice from wo
 <1992Apr2.194932.16457@adobe.com> <1992Apr5.195219.18854@tigger.jvnc.net>
 <1992Apr6.150735.27547@casbah.acns.nwu.edu>

(reference is made to comment about a man desiring a relationship more because
 of the initial hostility (well founded), MaX asks if one now understands why a
lot of women might fear the 'guy next door')

I certainly would understand why a woman would want to avoid someone who
thought like that, but it really wouldn't be fair to suggest that most men did,
any more than it would be fair to suggest that most women play 'hard to get'.
Obnoxious people aren't more numerous, just more noticable. Definitely, though,
it is an argument for trying to get to know someone well(common activities,etc)
before placing oneself in a vulnerable position.



Newsgroups: soc.singles