HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson)
Subject: Re: Legal language
Organization: Famed Parquet Floor
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 18:31:39 GMT

Ad absurdum per aspera writes:
>> Why is the legal profession not supposed to have its own jargon?  
>> I don't get it.
>
>Because doctors, linguists, computer people, and truck drivers don't
>have a long history of using complicated and deeply encoded language
>to swindle their fellow man.  Most lawyers don't do this, but lawyers
>who are inclined in this direction are uniquely qualified for it.

I would add doctors and priests to the list of professionals who increase
their authority by obfuscation.  It's only in the last couple of decades
that many people have started insisting on real information and lists of
alternatives from their physicians: It used to be "I'm the doctor and I 
know all these big words, just do as I say and shut up."  And many religions
add to their charismae by offering services and ceremonies in whole languages
thier congregations don't understand.  Even the marvelously poetic King James
Bible was written in language that was archaic _at the time_ to increase its
sonority.

Jeff Davis adds:
>People are so impatient, so to speak. Prior to the 20th century,
>I imagine iatrogenic deaths outnumbered all other deaths except for 
>dehydration from diarrhea in infants. 

I had to flip out my big dic to check this one, but "iatrogenic" means
what the context would suggest: "Exacerbated by the doctor".

Panati's _Extraordinary Endings, etc._ has an entertaining chapter on
medical misfeasance.  He cites medical historian Lawrence Henderson, who
believed that doctors had less than a fifty-fifty of helping their patients
until the second decade of this century.  Famous people whose deaths were
hastened by their attendants include Napoleon (who was given purgatives,
including antimony, for his stomach cancer) and James Garfield (who was
wounded by an assassin, but done in by his doctors).

Until well into this century, much of medicine involved cleaning imagined
poisons from the ill by bloodletting, emetics, laxatives, and enemas.  The
17th-century French developed the enema into an art, with the most entertaining
form involving tobacco: the _limonadier des posterieurs_ shoved a hollow
clyster up the passage, took a mouthful of smoke, and blew.  The nicotine
was absorbed efficiently, and the recipient got rather a rush.

Until the 1920's, some surgeons, led by Nobel prize winner Elie Metchkinoff,
routinely removed entire perfectly healthy colons, fastening the end
of the small intestine directly to the rectum.  This led to a messy life
for the surviving patients, but allegedly kept their systems clean.

And even today, ritual sexual mutilation of at best questionable medical
merit is practised around the globe, and millions spend their money on
homeopaths, chiropracters, acupuncturists, and other quacks.

Phil "_limonadier des posterieurs_ is French, but you can figure out what
it means" Gustafson
-- 
|play: phil@rahul.net
|work: (Under Construction)              | Phil Gustafson 408-286-1749      |
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31149 alt.drugs:19700
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.drugs
Subject: Re: UL: Monumental LSD overdose taken (was: Re: Brands of LSD)
From: derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne)
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 20:09:58 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand

In article <1ghkhtINNm8s@agate.berkeley.edu> curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

[Lots of ravings of an obviously morally unsound<tm> individual deleted]
 
>LSD?  Shit, that's nothing.  That's just a toy.  What you want
>is some Khat - the killer Somalian weed.  That shit is deadly.
>It makes LSD look like Brach's.  And if you've got any, I want
>some!  

Looks like you need to join the US marines son. 


Derek "Operation Restore Dope" Tearne


-- 
Derek Tearne.   --   derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz   --    Fujitsu New Zealand   -- 
 _______
 _______} This is a Usenet condom<tm>.  Roll the condom over the .signature 
	  file before posting to protect yourself from .sig retro-virii
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.computers
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: Jackpotting ATM's for $$$$
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 22:40:50 GMT

morris@grian.cps.altadena.ca.us (Mike Morris) writes:

>Earlier in this thread a person (sorry, didn't keep it and the article
>has expired) commented that the average ATM is 3000 pounds.  True.
>
>But there are two basic sizes of ATMs - the in-wall monstrosities, and
>the ones that you use inside a branch.  These smaller ones are about the
>the size of a large podium. .....


American Heritage Dictionary writes:

podium  n. pl. -dia or -diums.  1. An elevated platform, as for
an orchestra conductor or lecturer.  2. (archit.) A low wall
serving as a foundation. 3. A wall circling the arena of an
ancient ampitheater.  4.  (Biol)  A structure resembling or
functioning as a foot.

lectern  n.  1. A reading desk with a slanted top holding the
books from which Scriptural passages are read during a church
service.  2. A stand that serves as a support for the notes or
books of a speaker.


	So, does that mean this ATM looked like a big foot
, a large low wall, or a big platform?

Jon "Podiatry n. 1. The study and treatment of ATM ailments." Papai
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: n9020351@henson.cc.wwu.edu (James Douglas Del-Vecchio)
Subject: Re: Making Urban Legends - Carjacking
Organization: Western Washington University
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 19:55:48 GMT

csa09@seq1.keele.ac.uk (Paul Singleton) writes:
>the safety of the "Underground" (we had Guardian Angels a few years ago). 
>The victim later admitted to inventing the bit about being taken from a 
>train.


The founder of the Gaurdian Angels recently admitted that he had over
the years faked about eight crimes against himself (kidnapping, assaults,
murder attempts, death threats, etc) merely to get attention.

It was this attention that got and kept his organization going, apparently.

What a fucking nut, imo.

JD
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
From: quetzal@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Quetzal)
Subject: Re: Mnemonics
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 03:06:19 GMT

In relation to my last article - 

Bugger - I meant that the perihelion distance plus aphelion distance
equals TWICE the semi-major axis.

Oops.

Tim Pickett
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.fan.lemurs
From: obrien@netcom.com (Robert O'Brien)
Subject: Re: OH NO! Lemurs in Sci. American
Keywords: The key to our evolutionary past
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 11:51:38 GMT

I'm really not very good at interpreting what little communication they
(the ones that hang out on my patio some nights while I'm logged in)
deign to give me, but the way I understand it, the lemurs are really the
natives, *we* are the aliens (rejects, left here by the dominant species
on our home-world who were tired of all the *whining*) and the lemurs have
been trying all this time to reactivate the cows' ship and program it to
send *us* back, or just about anywhere.  But the cover story will be
at least as good as the Douglas Adams "B Ark" story, so most of us
will be very happy to go...

Hmm, I thought they were gone, and it'd be safe to type this, but they're
back now, and clearly doing what passes for a lemur laugh, so I guess I've
been taken in again...  one born every minute ...

	Bob "now they're paying attention:-}" O'Brien

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.shenanigans
From: boenne@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Robert C. Boenne)
Subject: mailing for almost nothing (was Re: Send ....)
Keywords: money
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Distribution: Here.......there. 
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 06:10:29 GMT

In article <dwarner.16@milo.ub.com# dwarner@milo.ub.com (Dave Warner) writes:
#In article <Bz50y0.9Bt@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> william@sage.cc.purdue.edu (jon) writes:
#
#>In article <1992Dec11.084341.11480@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> sbooth@lonestar.utsa.edu (Simon E. Booth) writes:
#
#>   Another thing I leared was how to mail regular letters for 2 cents!  I tried
#>it, and it works. I'll post it if anyone's interested.
#
#Yeah, I might be interested in seeing this.  Put it up if you get time.

Well, I'm interested too but correct me if I'm wrong, but if you make the return
address the same as the sending address and don't put a stamp on it, it'll get
there.


	Robert


-- 
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the
young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving,
and tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life
you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com (Bruce Tindall)
Subject: Re: Why Not?
Originator: sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 22:46:18 GMT
Organization: SAS Institute Inc.


In articles <blah>, various people write:
> [student invokes archaic but still-in-force custom or law then
> kills self in fit of noblesse oblige]

My English Constitutional History professor told us that a woman
party to a lawsuit in England (circa 1830) invoked the disused 
privilege of "trial by combat" in lieu of "trial by jury," and,
being female, also invoked the provision that she could hire a 
"champion" to fight on her behalf.  The astounded judge found that
the statute [or common-law provision] providing for trial by
combat had never been repealed [or overruled by decision or
statue].  I forget what he said happened in that particular 
lawsuit, but the next session of Parliament passed the necessary
legislation to abolish trial by combat/ordeal/whatever.

O English barrister types with your silly wigs and transatlantic
version of Lexis, pray tell, is this true or false?

Bruce "or I shall taunt you a second time" Tindall
-- 
Bruce Tindall, Core Testing Mgr., SAS Institute Inc., Cary, N.C. 27513
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: obrien@netcom.com (Robert O'Brien)
Subject: Re: ring-pulls/ cats-eyes/ zips/ etc...
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 09:07:00 GMT

v462etnn@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (David L Anderson) writes:
> 
> Well, according to a documentary I saw on some quasi-educational
> channel, the flute playin/singin guy from Jethro Tull (Ian???)
> owns a salmon company.  So, you too can get Jethro Tull salmon.
> 
> Sorry, don't remember what the name of it was.
>
> David Anderson
        ^^^^^^^^

I'm still trying to figure out how _you_ could forget Ian's family name...

	Bob "no problem remembering the last name of Colm Meaney's 
		character 'Miles' in Star Trek-the next generation"
--
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.sex,alt.flame
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: New Idea
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 03:49:57 GMT

Speaking of police states:

As seen in Columbus Dispatch,  Dec. 15, 1992
....................................
Headline:Law Would Protect Police Animals
...
The Columbus City Council last night began considering a law to
make it a first-degree misdemeanor to assault a police dog or
horse.  The assailant would face up to six months in jail and a
$1,000 fine.
	"This would prevent anyone from taking advantage of or
abusing an animal in an enforcement mode," Saftey Director
Leonard P. Keller said.
...
	The law would be the first of its kind in Ohio, said
Officer Alan Shaub of the police legal bureau.
	Ohio lawmakers, however, are considering a bill to make
attacking a police animal a felony, he noted.
...
	The council will vote on the proposal next Monday.
.................................................

	I guess Alex Karras wouldn't be such a bad ass in this town.

Jon "What about police lemurs?" Papai
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: cdantoni@abacus.bates.edu (Chuck D'Antonio)
Subject: Re: Making Urban Legends - Carjacking
Organization: Bates College, Lewiston, Maine
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 21:38:29 GMT

twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan) writes:

>I suppose the Charles Stuart case in Boston comes to mind.  Off hand,
>I recall the following details.  Son of wealthy furrier family was
>supposedly returning home from Lamaze class with his pregnant wife.
>Police get a call from him on his cellular phone.  They were lost
>in a "bad" part of town.  A black man accosted them, shot and killed
>her and shot him in the stomach.  BPD get a description and arrest
>someone who fits the "description."

Charles never claimed to be lost, but had made the call from Mission
Hill, near a housing project -- our of the way from the route to
Reading, MA, where the two lived, but he never claimed to be lost.  He
was not the son of a wealthy furrier (worked selling furs).  The
arrest was based on Chuck's identification of an individual when
looking through mug books in his hospital bed as he recovered from his
stomach wounds.

>Turns out, Stuart shot his wife and then himself to fake an injury.
>Provided a bogus description.  He and his brother helped hide the
>gun (threw it in the Mystic river?)  A brother 'fesses up, Charles
>commits suicide, innocent black fellow released.  City, mayor, BDP,
>etc. end up totally embarassed.  

Charles through _himself_ in the Mystic River as soon as he found out
that his brother was due to turn him in.  He had no part in hiding the
gun -- he passed the gun and some of his wife's possessions to his
brother the night of the killing and his brother dumped them in the
Saugus river.

Embarassed seems to be an understatement -- disgraced, perhaps.  The
DA should be included at the top of that list.

>This sounds more or less correct?  Dick?  Someone out there?

More or less, yes.  

>Terry "Rumor!" Chan

Chuck
-- 
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- WRBC--91.5 FM -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Chuck D'Antonio			      <>   "Sleep is for lightweights"
internet: cdantoni@abacus.bates.edu   <>                 -- Henry Rollins
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  Apple II Forever -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: Why Not?
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 07:08:36 GMT

sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com (Bruce Tindall) writes in:
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 22:46:18 GMT:

>My English Constitutional History professor told us ......
    ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^

	Wait a minute.   I thought England didn't have
a constitution.   Or do you mean an Professor from England
who taught 'History of the American constitution' ?

-J.
From: de@moscom.com (David Esan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Poisoned Cocaine Legend?
Date: 15 Dec 92 22:51:45 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corporation, Pittsford NY

In article <1992Dec14.062051.16381@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com> billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson) writes:
:diane@Apple.COM (Diane Patterson) writes:
:: 
:: A friend told me the story about how a FOAF of his wanted to try
:: cocaine and a friend of his (how many friends down the line are we
:: now?) said, "I'll get some for you." And so he did and the two made a
:: date for the FOAF to try it. Well, the FOAF was late, so the guy who
:: got the cocaine said, "I'll start without him," and voila! The cocaine
:: was poisoned and the guy died. It was only by virtue of (insert
:: favorite excuse for being late here) that the FOAF didn't die himself.
:: 
:: I didn't see it in the FAQ, so I ask the group: how old and how
:: widespread?
:
:I haven't heard this particular variant, but it is an example of the
:class of "Accidentally to late for the accident" variety. There are
:many of them.

While we can classify this story type as a UL, I can relate one that
truly happened.  My father-in-law got married on a three day pass during
WWII (the big one).  For reasons never really explained (and I'm not
really sure that I want to know) he was late returning to camp.  The
ship that he missed by being late was torpedoed on its way to Greenland
with a near total loss of life.  He took the next ship to Greenland.

-- 
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -->     David Esan      de@moscom.com  
 
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: harris.minter@ehbbs.gwinnett.com (Harris Minter) 
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: WAY stupid things to
Date: 14 Dec 92 05:53:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Ed Hopper's BBS - Berkeley Lake, GA - 404-446-9462
Reply-To: harris.minter@ehbbs.gwinnett.com (Harris Minter) 

>>>Speaking of which, has anyone ACTUALLY caught a bullet or arrow
>>>inflight? No tricks now, just reflexes.
>>

>There have been a few magicians who _seemed_ to do this.  I think a lot of
>them died while performing the trick.  I think it was usually done with a
>small caliber (.22).

The way the trick worked, was the magician showed everyone a live
round, have a shill write something on it, then load the rifle with it.
Actually, at the last moment, he'd palm the live round and insert a
blank.  He'd have a once-fired bullet (with markings matching the ones
made by the shill) hidden in his mouth, and therefore be shot by a
blank.  Then he'd spit out the bullet.....  One or two magicians
fumbled the swap of the blank and the live round, and got shot as a
result.

A .22 was used because:
1) Small bullet, easy to hide in the mouth.
2) Low power blank - even a blank was enough power to injure or kill,
   at close range.
                                                                                             
----
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------+
|       Ed Hopper's BBS - ehbbs.gwinnett.com - Atlanta, Georgia         |
|  USR/HST: 404-446-9462                  V.32bis: 404-446-9465         |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: rsc@watson.ibm.com (R. Camm)
Subject: Re: Amusing signs
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 23:28:59 GMT
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: IBM T.J. Watson Research Center

In article <guest.724539004@cs.wisc.edu>, guest@veronica.cs.wisc.edu (Guest account) writes:
|> 
|> Would someone please provide a translation of "einbahnstrasse" for the
|> german- impaired?
|> 
|> -Tim Petlock
|> petlock@turing.org

       -----------------|\
      |                    \
      |      One Way        *
      |                    /
       -----------------|/ 


-- 
Bob "My Way" Camm     (rsc@watson.ibm.com or RSC at WATSON)
                      AIX High Performance Computing Cluster Support
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: bwatson@nyx.cs.du.edu (bruce watson)
Subject: Re: Chelsea clinton
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 92 18:46:59 GMT

Political comedian Will Durst says he will not pick on Chelsea. He
says she will have enough problems of her own. "Can you imagine
undergoing puberty in front of Sam Donaldson?"


--
Bruce Watson  wats@nyx.cs.du.edu  Toy Cows, Toy Cows in Africa, Toy Cows
                                                       --- Chance
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31291 rec.arts.startrek.misc:12708
From: trevor@advent.co.uk (Trevor Pretty)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: Re: Mnemonics
Keywords: KIBO = Knowledge In Bozosity Out
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:02:36 GMT
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban
Organization: Advent Imaging Ltd.,Henley,England


>For me, I've always remembered that P is the leftmost letter in posh,

POSH?

As any Englishman (none of this namby pamby englishperson here (this will cause flames!)) will tell POSH was stamped on tickets when going to India (back in the days when we had an Empire). It simple stood for

Port, Out, Starboard, Home 

as these were the coolest cabins


Trevor
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: Bruce.Tindall@launchpad.unc.edu (Bruce Tindall)
Subject: Fellatio laws, cases cited (was: Re: FAQ list)
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 01:27:30 GMT

In article <1992Dec11.143338.1@icrf.icnet.uk> r_pearce@icrf.icnet.uk writes:
>It is widely believed in this country (UK) that fellatio is actually illegal
>in (some states of) the USA. Is this true? Some of you Yanks must know.
>(Yes, OK, I know, I only put that word in to annoy you.)

Fellatio is illegal in North Carolina under a generally-worded "crimes
against nature" statute that traces its heritage back to statutes of
Henry VIII and Elizabeth I.  The maximum penalty is 10 years' 
imprisonment and/or a fine.  It is probably used only as an additional
charge to ensure conviction, or lengthen the sentences, of rapists and
child molesters, but there's nothing in the statute or related court
opinions to prevent its being used against consenting adults, even
consenting married couples.

The statute is N.C.General Statutes 14-177 and reads in its entirety:
"If any person shall commit the crime against nature, with mankind or
beast, he shall be punished as a Class H felon."  Various court opinions
have interpreted "crime against nature" to include oral and anal sex,
irrespective of the gender of the participants.
 
It was held that "persons of ordinary intelligence would conclude a
fellatio between a man and a woman would be classified as a crime against
nature and forbidden by this section.  This keeps it from being 
unconstitutionally vague."  State v. Poe, 252 SE2d 843 (NCApp 1979),
State v. Singleton, 354 SE2d 259 (NCApp 1987).

"The legislative intent and purpose . . . is to punish persons who
undertake by unnatural and indecent methods to gratify a perverted
and depraved sexual instinct which is an offense against public decency
and morality."  State v. Stubbs, 145 SE2d 899 (NC 1966), State v. Adams,
264 SE2d 46 (NC 1980).

All this comes from the annotations to the statute, which also cites 
some law review articles, the most recent of which was 58 N.C.L.Rev.
1326 (1980).  It also cites the 400-year-old English statutes as
25 Henry VIII, c. 6, and 5 Eliz., c.17.  

By the way, in North Carolina, a husband cannot be prosecuted for
raping his wife.  (Technically, he can be prosecuted, but the fact
that he's the victim's husband is explicitly recognized as a defense
in the statute.)  This is known as "family values".  There is some
agitation to repeal this in the next session of the legislature.

Those with e-z access to full text of the fellatio cases are welcome to
look 'em up.  The facts might be fascinating.  However, with my 
bookshelves full of SAS manuals, I have no room for a full set of
South Eastern Reporter.

Bruce "Hey you tonguing Mother Nature, this is a bust!" Tindall

--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31427 alt.drugs:19881
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.drugs
Subject: Re: Usenetters are all dope fiends?
Date: 17 Dec 1992 01:37:03 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 23180@microsoft.com, leecr@microsoft.com (Lee Crocker) writes:
> Usenet, and this group in particular, is dedicated to facts, not
> popular hysteria.

I assume that you're referring to the alt.drugs half of the
distribution, here.

Brian "alt.hysteria.popular" Scearce
---
Brian Scearce                                           bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
              The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
                  "You can't fit the truth on a t-shirt, man."
                                 "That'd fit."

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban