HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Why do the lurkers / so furiously lurk together?
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 13:09:53 GMT

jbuck@forney.berkeley.edu (Joe Buck) definitively states:

>This is kind of a strange statement, Kiran.  You obviously couldn't be
>bothered by it all that much, considering that you post quite a bit here.

No, I am slightly bothered by it, but it does influence what I say.

>You're free to hop over to news.lists and check out the estimates of the
>size of the net.  
I have.

>And you really don't want all these people introducing
>themselves.  If each lurker were to post one message, this would result
>in around the same number of messages that have been posted since the
>Great Renaming (give or take a factor of two). 

Let's see, there are about 85K lurkes.  There are 250 working days in
the year.  That's 340 messages a day.  I cede the point.  

>The group would be completely unusable.
*laugh* As if it isn't already?

>It is these people (the lurkers) that subsidize you, [...]
>YOU certainly aren't paying the full cost of your postings.
Another good point.

>Many people have found that talking about their personal issues is
>theraputic.  The lurkers are all providing you with free nondirective
>therapy -- you talk, they listen, not objecting to anything you say.

I don't use the net for therapy.  

>So why are you bothered by them?

Would you be bothered if 85,00 invisible people eavesdropped on your
conversations?

>How weird.  Kiran, get over it.  Post when you have something to say.
I do. :-)  

>If you want people to know that you're there, then make sure that your
>site is sending in an Arbitron report to Brian Reid (see news.lists),
All that tells them is that someone is out there.  Doesn't tell em who.

>so that the readership statistics are accurate.


>Reading soc.singles without posting isn't eavesdropping; 
Then what is it?

>posting random bullshit
>just to let people know you are there isn't a contribution, it's an

I have not suggested that, but I feel that if _I_ read a group for a
year, I can find _something_ productive to say so that others know I
am out there.  This isn't true on every group, but it is true of many.

>Now, I'd welcome more contributions from anyone who is witty, articulate,
>wise, entertaining, an excellent writer, etc., etc. 

That's exactly what I'm hoping to encourage.  
-- 
Kiran Wagle     <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>     (812) 335-0420
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: rock@medch.b17b.ingr.com (Chris Hudson)
Subject: Re: Can we can the suck-up bit?
Keywords: encourage friendship?
Reply-To: rock@medch.b17a.ingr.com
Organization: Intergraph Corporation, Huntsville, AL.
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 22:26:21 GMT

In article <1992Sep1.154037.13101@u.washington.edu>, intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing) writes:
|> In article <kiran.715316945@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu> kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
|> >johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
|> >>Some men actually like to do nice things for people (even if they happen
|> >>to be female) because they get enjoyment from doing nice things for people.
|> >
|> >And some people misinterpret being helpful as attempting to control.
|> >Guess the easy solution is to stop being helpful.
|> 
|> Right!  There you go!  See?  Just what I was talking about earlier.  That
|> is the very same reason men quit opening doors or letting women out of
|> elevators first or all those other polite things.  A few bad apples - of
|> the feminist type - snarled once too often "I can do it *myself*!" and now
|> there's a whole generation of men afraid to open a door for fear they're
|> going to get smacked!  I'm with John - every helpful action is not a
|> political statement, nor an opportunity to manipulate.
|> 
|> Angelwing -  I do draw the line at dropping hankies.

I open doors for women.  I also open doors for men.  I say thank you, yes sir, 
and no sir.  If I'm in a position to open a door, I open it, but I don't go 
running to the door to get there unless they have their hands full.  I've had 
women hold the door for me.  It's all a matter of politeness, not a matter of 
sucking up or male chauvanism or feminism.  Some people just can't see that.

Chris Hudson

PS - I'd pick up your hankie for you if you dropped it, Angelwing, but I'd 
leave your towel on the floor.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Exactly what I mean by "unattached"...
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sun, 23 Aug 1992 21:54:34 GMT

tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>Are zebra crossings white paint with black asphalt stripes or black
>asphalt with white paint stripes?  

Trygve!  They're not asphalt at all.  They're black _tarmac_ with white paint.

>Not if there's a really good movie on, no, but the point is that it
>is possible; people are not unable to control their feelings.

The only control one has over one's emotions is to repress them, and
(a) eventually they all go and (b) someday they all come back at once.

People are, i think, indeed unable to control their feelings.  
They can control their values (perhaps, if they are sufficiently
introspective) but the only way they can "control" an emotion is by
changing the underlying value... and when they do that, they will change
not only the pesky emotion--they will get stuck with all the other
instantaneous value-jugdments (which we call "emotions") that arise
from this new value.

People _can't_ control their emotions (at least in a conscious sense.)
They can control their values, which is quite different.  And one sign
of how well those values have been internalised is whether one's
emotional reactions are in accord with one's claimed values, or
in conflict with them.

>Anyway, the important thing is that "requires effort" and "impossible"
>are two very different things and I think people would be a lot happier
>if they understood that changing their emotions was the former rather

Substitute "values" or "philosophy" for emotions and I think we shall agree.
-- 
Kiran Wagle                             <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
P.O.Box 2083 Bloomington IN 47402-2083                  (812) 335-0420
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Oh, no! Statistics! Run!! :-)
Date: 27 Aug 92 19:57:51 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

margoli@watson.ibm.com (Larry Margolis) writes:

>In  <14304@auspex-gw.auspex.com>  johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>> |] margoli@watson.ibm.com writes:
>> |] >No, women like men with Snap-On tools.  :-)
>>
>> I would have figured the Snap-off quality was pretty desirable as well.

>Bingo - some women like to make sure the tool's safely stored at home
>when their man's not.  :-)

Some women just want to make sure there is a tool at home even when their
person's not.

--
Stef                 In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a 
stef@apple.com       sentence with words in the proper order then 
                     why can't he?                         /fortune
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: rudoff@mdd.comm.mot.com (Doug Rudoff)
Subject: Re: Desperation (was Re: Commitment--The C-word?)
Organization: Motorola, Mobile Data Division - Seattle, WA
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 20:47:06 GMT

In article <6#bnydj.barry@netcom.com> barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry) writes:
>In article <1992Aug25.183926.12962@mdd.comm.mot.com> rudoff@mdd.comm.mot.com (Doug Rudoff) writes:
>>[3 stories of "desperate" women deleted]
>>as long as I'm
>>attracted to the desperate person, I have no problem with desperation.
>>But when the attraction is one-sided, it's best to avoid the person.
>
>	I don't get it. Read your anecdotes, failed to find any sign
>of desperation in the women's behavior. The only real point to the
>stories I saw was the one you almost make in the quote above: what
>you have actually described are one-sided attractions; desperation
>has nothing to do with it.
>
>						Kayembee

What can I say? They seemed desperate to me.

Maybe because I considered myself desperate in the past when I have
been attracted to a women who wasn't attracted to me. Given my
complete lack of success in pursuing women who aren't interested in
me, I look at it as a sign of desperation. Maybe we just have
different definitions of desperate.
-- 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Doug Rudoff          Motorola, Seattle    INTERNET:rudoff@mdd.comm.mot.com
                                            USENET:uunet!mdisea!rudoff   
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: michele@dgbt.doc.ca (Michele Guillet)
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Organization: The Communications Research Centre
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 92 14:20:59 GMT

In article <1992Aug25.222935.684@news.acns.nwu.edu> drmax@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Marianna Max) writes:
>I can't say that it took any of the kind of life experience you guys talk
>about for me to come to this conclusion, actually my first realization that
>I simply was much better off writing my own script came to me in 9th grade
>(I think I was mostly living that way all along anyway but it was my first
>concious realization that not everyone did this). My mom is definately not
>this way herself, she tries to please everyone in

I don't remember when I started to think that I was better to be in control
of my own life, or when I started to believe that I would always want
to be in a position not to depend on anyone else. I think it started 
really early, I was somewhat of a tomboy as a child and my parents
were hoping for a nice little girl. 


And my parents never quite accepted that their daugther became an
engineer. Not a profession for a woman. My father eventually got used to the idea.

I have been living alone since I can afford it and there are a lot of things
I like about living alone. I have a house and a dog and have never been married
or in a bad relationship.

-- 
Michele Guillet 			The Communications Research Centre 
3701 Carling Avenue, Ottawa, Ontario, CANADA, K2H 8S2	tel:613-998-2384
Internet: michele@dgbt.doc.ca
From: bruce@StarConn.com (Bruce Michael Roberts)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: GE
Date: 30 Aug 92 18:02:21 GMT
Organization: Starnet-Public Access UNIX--Los Altos, CA  415-949-3133

I was thinking of buying a membership in Great Expectations.  I'm
interested in some serious feedback about the following:

1. Were there certain income expectations that you were looking for?
   I have a friend who joined GE and some of the women he dated told
   him flat out that as a senior programmer earning $42K in So.
   California, he didn't meet their expectations.

2. How much weight did you put on personal appearance?  For example,
   ladies: if you saw a video and the man had a full head of hair,
   and you discovered  (after a few dates) that he was wearing a hairpiece, were   you disappointed?
   Would you have selected him anyway? (Be honest---)  I know this
   sounds dumb but the folks who sell hair replacement put great
   emphasis on this point.

3. If you belonged to other video dating services, how did GE compare?
   Was it worth the time and money?

   Thanks much...
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Lurkers...
Date: 1 Sep 92 21:08:35 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

trygve lode (tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu) wrote:
: 
: Trygve    (Though I must admit that when I get a letter consisting
:            of one of my messages quoted in its entirety with the
:            line "awwright dude!" appended to the end, I can be at
:            a loss for words.) 

Well, that's easy.  Get a dictionary.  Next time that someone sends you mail
like that, reply.  Send "Aardvark".  Cross it off in the dictionary.  Next
time, move down to the next work.  That should hold you for quite a while,
as well as confuse them mightily.  Unless of course they saw this post, but
that's the chance you take :-)
-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: Ross Ridge <ross@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Re: Ring for sale (The ballad of a Guy & Girl)
Organization: ZOOiD BBS
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 23:24:56 GMT
Keywords: diamond, engagement, ring, forsale

nastasi@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (joseph.l.nastasi) writes:
>Guy and Girl fall in love.  Guy buys beautiful 3/4 carat,
>heart-shaped, diamond engagement ring.  Guy says, "Hey
>ain't good enough for MY Girl!"  So Guy has ring re-mounted
>in a beautiful scroll-type setting that contains six diamond
>chips on each side (total 3/4 carat). 

Guy fell for a DeBeers advertising campain...

							Ross Ridge

-- 
Ross Ridge - The Great HTMU					     l/	 //
								    [OO][oo]
ross@zooid.guild.org						    /()\/()/
uunet.ca!zooid!ross						     db	 //
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark)
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Organization: Computing Services Division, University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 12:41:42 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.220334.7795@hpcvca.cv.hp.com> watson@hpcvcah.cv.hp.com (Jeffrey Watson) writes:
>One of the biggest fears I have is that I won't know what to say.  What
>I usually do is to compliment them on some feature that I found
>particularly attractive--their smile or their eyes for instance.

That's a nice miniskirt your have on.  Terribly sexy and short.  I have one
just like it at home (proceed to giggle, blush, and turn head away).
From: lana@magenta.corp.sgi.com (Lana Mountford)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Desperation (was Re: Commitment--The C-word?)
Date: 2 Sep 92 19:09:04 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

In article <kiran.715453016@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>, kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
|> lana@magenta.corp.sgi.com (Lana Mountford) writes:
|> 
|> >The point I'm trying to make, I think, is that there are some people who
|> >honestly believe they are not whole persons unless they have a MOTAS in
|> >their lives.  They will do anything (just about) to make sure they are in
|> >some kind of relationship at all times, even to the point of staying in a
|> >bad one because they really believe that they can't be "whole" without a
|> >relationship.  I don't happen to feel that way.  
|> 
|> Do you think there's something wrong with people who feel that they
|> (or their lives) are not complete without a (happy) relationship?

No, I don't believe I said there was anything _wrong_ with them.  Different
strokes for different folks, no?  Also, I said "some kind of relationship"
above; you said "(happy) relationship."  There's a big difference, for
example, between a woman (or man) who remains in an emotionally abusive
relationship KNOWING that s/he's in an emotionally abusive relationship,
who won't leave because s/he's afraid of being without any relationship
at all, and a person who prefers to be in a happy satisfying relationship
but who is "OK" without one.  At least, I see a difference in those two
scenarios.  The first says "desperation"; the other doesn't.  And to me,
desperation isn't very attractive.
-- 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|    /)                      | Lana Mountford    
|   / /  __    ___    __     | Silicon Graphics  
|__(_/__(__)\__/  )__(__)\__ | Mountain View, CA 
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: buick@belay (Patrick D. Buick)
Subject: Re: Subtlety (was Re: Exactly what I mean by "unattached"...)
Organization: Belay Enterprises Inc. Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 18:51:57 GMT

In article <kiran.714661094@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu> kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>haroome@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>>And a *large* number of unattached women who would like to find a
>>place where we can meet and pay attention to men without them seeing
>>us as threatening, forward, trollopy [...] ball-breaking-bitches, 
>
>Oh no, not this again!  How many times do we gotta tell you, 
>size doesn't--er, men _like_ aggressive women.  Men _want_ to be asked
>out, and paid for too.  We are _fed-up_ with always having to make the
>First Move.
>
>>(BTW - that's what the banana trick is - entertainment like the sword
>>swallower in a freakshow).
>
>Yeah right.  The banana trick would be a perfectly good come-on if you
>didn't bite the end off. :-) 
>
>-- 
>Kiran Wagle                             <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
>P.O.Box 2083 Bloomington IN 47402-2083                  (812) 335-0420

Ummm.. if Allisson finds such a place, lemme know... It'd be worth
my while to go there for.... lessee.... a fortnight...
:-)
Patrick
-- 
==========================================================
Patrick D. Buick EMT, EET  | Internet: buick%belay@uunet.uu.net
Belay Enterprises Inc.     | Internet: buickp@cuug.ab.ca
Calgary, Alberta, Canada   | UUCP:...!calgary!pixel!belay!buick
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: probst@fraser.sfu.ca (Scott Probst)
Subject: Re: Diamonds
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 19:21:50 GMT

In article <1992Sep2.181953.20637@beaver.cs.washington.edu> dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson) writes:
>In article <1992Sep2.073804.19451@zooid.guild.org> ross@zooid.guild.org (Ross Ridge) writes:
>>diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
>>>change my userid to my last name.  Boring, but simple.
>>
>>I'd say keep the name and find a better song.  Maybe Pink Floyd's
>>"Shine on you Crazy Diamond", or the Beatle's "Lucy in the Sky with
>>Diamonds".
>
>Or how about David Bowie's "Diamond Dogs", or Joan Baez's 
>"Diamonds and Rust"?  Whoops, getting a little depressing again.

or 'diamond lives' (sade), or 'diamonds on the soles of his feet', or...
'om mani padme hum' (lit: 'the jewel in the lotus'). oops, went a little
sideways on that one. sorry.

scott

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: clever@torsqnt.tor.sequent.com (Cathy Cleverley)
Subject: Re: Exactly what I mean by "unattached"...
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems (Canada) Ltd.
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 17:10:06 GMT

thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow) writes:

>Actually, I think a lot of people are in potentially happy circumstances
>but have convinced themselves they want to feel miserable because they
>lack some part of their dream.  I think I was doing that, and I was
>absolutely critical to decide I wasn't going to make myself unhappy
>anymore.  Nothing is really going to make you happy until you decide
>that happiness is what you want and deserve.

>Rob T
>--
>Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
>The sun is gonna shine again / We're gonna make it 'round that bend
>I'll walk another mile with you, 'cause you're my friend
>The sun is gonna shine again.			- Graham Parker



"Though it's been said many times, many ways....."
What Rob has said above is so very true.  Annoying as it may be all those one
line sayings like "bloom where you're planted", "live in the moment" and
only you are responsible for your own happiness have been coined for 
because they are true.


Cathy
clever@seqeunt.com

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie (Emma Williams)
Subject: Re: Powerful forces of nature conspire
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 11:37:50 GMT

In <1992Aug27.104954.26803@uwm.edu> markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark) writes:


>It was 60 in February and it doesn't snow much here anymore.

>And that's no joke.

	No snow???  Well, that's another one crossed off my list 
of places to live!

	What is the point of living somewhere you can't 
occasionally look out the window and see white flecks of 
silence blanketing the world?  Or be able to roll around
in it and laugh with the sheer joy of living?
Or build snow people and fortresses and have snowball fights?
Or sled down hills and plough into high drifts at the bottom
spraying white powder everywhere so you have to blow it
off your eyelashes?

Or be adventurous and stand outside in a blizzard with the driving
wind and snow flakes streaming against your face?
Or cuddle up afterwards by a roaring fire inside, smiling and drinking
hot chocolate laced with brandy, while the wind howls outside and the
snow pummels against your window and you watch your dreams in the
flames of the fire?
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Major suckup (was: Re: Where the best posts come from)
Date: 2 Sep 92 20:10:20 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Sep2.073804.19451@zooid.guild.org> ross@zooid.guild.org (Ross Ridge) writes:
|diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
|>Actually, 'Diamond Smiles' is a pretty depressing song, and I'm not
|>nearly as depressed a person as I was back when I first selected a
|>userid... anybody got any better ideas?  Maybe I'll just have them
|>change my userid to my last name.  Boring, but simple.
|
|I'd say keep the name and find a better song.  Maybe Pink Floyd's
|"Shine on you Crazy Diamond", or the Beatle's "Lucy in the Sky with
|Diamonds".
 
Diamond Girl - "Seals and Crofts"

-- 
+============================================================================++
| John Fereira            "Is that all you ever think about?"                |
| johnf@auspex.com                                                           |
+============================================================================++
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jdnicoll@watyew.uwaterloo.ca (James Davis Nicoll)
Subject: Re: Powerful forces of nature conspire
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 17:10:44 GMT

	Wind? Hah! Trying experiencing 6" of rainfall in as many hours
while living a foot above water level and  at the  bottom of mountains
with a creek  trying to funnel far too much water 10 m from the house.
That's entertainment!

	It is also Brazil, not Canada. I kinda miss the way the water 
glowed green  at night...

							James Nicoll

	(We did have a custodian freeze to death one  year at Wilmot 
Township SPS, though.)

	
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: Las Vegas strikes again
Organization: AT&T
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 21:00:00 GMT

In article <71745@apple.Apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>Oh this is precious -- I just received from Mr "Form-Letter" Las Vegas
>what appears to be part of a .gif.

I got it too.  I haven't got the slightest idea what it's supposed
to be, but when I unfocus my eyes and watch it scroll up my
screen, it looks like upside-down rain.  Pretty!

-Nance
-- 
Nance Colucci  *^*^*^*^*^*    o__    *^*^*^*^*  |  Work that body!
att!ihlpk!colucci            _.>/               | Stay fit for life.
                            (_) \(_)
From: phd85@seq1.keele.ac.uk (D.H. Holden)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: lurkers!????
Keywords: lurking.
Date: 26 Aug 92 17:05:55 GMT
Organization: University of Keele, England


    If you dont want people "lurking" on your "conversions"
    use Email and save bandwidth!

    Eavesdroppers Anonymous.