HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: unpronounceable names (was Re: Drivers from Hell)
Date: 13 Aug 92 14:13:37 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute

In article <41407@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg) writes:
>In article <BsvwEH.Lzt@wpi.WPI.EDU> padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan
>Dutton) complains about an admittedly fairly inane post that suggested
>that he sign his name "Dick!":
>
>His point is that the rest of us don't know how to pronounce your
>name. It is unclear whether we should say "peter bang" or "peter
>factorial" or simply assume that your name is meant to be read in a
>slightly louder voice than the preceding text. As names go, it's
>slightly easier to come to terms with than "Mike *smirk*" which I for
>one would not even try to pronounce ("mike star smirk star" is just
>cumbersome, and trying to combine a smirk with the utterance of the
>name "Mike" is too hard on my facial muscles, although I suppose if
>that's your name you'd get used to it.)

Well, all I had meant to do was distinguish my sign-off from the one
or two others who sign simply "Peter". (I can't bring myself
to use a .sig yet. I'm still denying the fact that I tend to post 
enough that I may need one). I had no idea that anyone was reading my
posts aloud, and to those who do, I apologize. The exclamation
point has no significance (to the person who wrote me a letter: no,
it doesn't mean I have a hard-on right now!), but if you wish to
pronounce my name in a slightly louder voice, or with a "bang"
or "factorial", then go right ahead. Perhaps one of those "clicks"
like in those African bushman languages (!Xosa, or something like
that)...
>
>yours in puzzlement,
>Paul?

On second thought, maybe the exclaimation point is a sign of
self-assurance. I am me! 

Oh, and a peeve so that this slides right back into the proper
newsgroup:

Peeve: $1325 worth of transmission repairs, which is about three
weeks' pay, after taxes. I might as well have taken three weeks
off and learn to fix it myself! Of course, I'd probably save it
until the last day, and do a lousy job...

Peter! (click)
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: peevefest east 92
Summary: i'll be the one with the dead armadillo
Keywords: who? me?
Date: 19 Aug 92 22:21:46 GMT
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus

peeve: not having handy gif utilities so i'd know what some of these
	folks look like. how's this gonna work? we need a plan here.

-l "what's a nice peever like you doing in a place like this?" p



-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: Please Ignore mikey at Dalhousie
Organization: peevish
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 01:06:51 GMT

In article <793mz9+.rickg@netcom.com> rickg@netcom.com
(Rick Gordon) writes:

>Besides, sac, nobody *feeds* pigeons here ...

Of course we do.  Alka-seltzer.  Oops, sorry, wrong newsgroup.

Of course we do.  We feed them to the cats.

ObPeeve: AI programs with net.access.

++++++++++++++++++++Seth      sethb@fid.morgan.com++++++++++++++++++++
 Contrary to your quest, you will not be receiving any flames.  But
for participating you'll receive, within five working days, a
self-inflating liferaft and a handy plastic applicator courtesy of the
Kotex Corporation.  Please follow the insertion instructions on the
package, then tug sharply on the string to, uh, make sure it's
inserted properly. -- banta
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 17 Aug 92 11:49:58 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky) writes:

>not that it happened to me, i had been forewarned. the tester even said
>"now if you open the door *right*, you've passed". 

In the UK, Testers used to talk to folks. Then they got so many
complaints from BDI's who they'd "mislead" into failing their tests that
they now have a list of instructions which must be given *very*
formally.

FoFP
From: malc@pyramid.unr.edu (Malcolm L. Carlock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Yosemite peeves n' !peeves
Keywords: Yosemite
Date: 18 Aug 92 06:40:35 GMT
Organization: Xinaian Tourist Bureau

!Peeve:  The way Yosemite Park is run by the Park Service and the Curry Co.
         These guys have thought of EVERYTHING, and the service, from the
	 dining rooms to the bicycle rental desk, was impeccable and unvary-
	 ingly polite and cheerful.  On two separate trips even.  Other than
	 hotel rooms, stuff isn't even all that expensive.  I am absolutely
	 impressed as hell.  

!Peeve:  They even thought of an ice cream stand at the base of Vernal Falls
	 (far back in the trees where it doesn't interfere with the scenery).
	 Not to mention the strategically placed, plenty-o-water-pressure
	 drinking fountains along the trail.

Peeve:   It closed before we got back from the top.

!Peeve:  The great signs with the stick man being swept over the edge of
	 the falls, with the statement that "if you slip on the rocks and
	 fall in, you will die."

Peeve:   There's no drinking fountain OR ice cream stand at the base of
	 Bridalveil Falls.  We found this out after riding our bikes there
	 without having brought canteens (we had some juice in the daypack,
	 but ran out.)

!Peeve:  The bicycle rental setup.  Brilliant.  Cool fat-tired bikes, good
	 bike trails, no need for bike-locks, and lots o' folks ride instead
	 of driving their cars.

!Peeve:  Standing directly under Bridalveil (not so much water during this
	 period of drought) and swimming in the pool below.

Peeve:   My SO didn't want me to swim in the (thundering mist-sprayed) pool
	 below Vernal Falls.  Strangely, no one else was swimming there either.

!Peeve:  She did say that if I ever did decide to swim there, that she wanted
	 to come with.

!Peeve:  This time, we had Tioga road all to ourselves for the most part
	 and the few people driving slower than us were kind enough to pull
	 over when turnouts came up.

Peeve:   The slowpoke BDI's who didn't pull over the last time until 4 or
	 so cars behind them had been flashing their brights for 20 or more
	 minutes.

Peeve:   The restrooms at Tioga Pass were closed, apparently permanently.
	 And after I'd waited during the whole drive across the park, just
	 so I could preserve the great driving situation described above.
	 A most glaring and, from my point of view at the time, egregious
	 omission by an otherwise essentially impeccable park administration.

Peeve:   People capable of concluding an otherwise erudite and charming
	 posting with a discussion about public restrooms.
--
Malcolm L. Carlock                      Internet:  malc@unr.edu
                                        UUCP:      unr!malc
                                        BITNET:    malc@equinox
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Blueberry pie
Date: 18 Aug 92 16:01:52 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

(Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>antipeeve:
>	SO: you know what they say, gram,... if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Several years ago, a friend of mine who had been desperately
celibate for some time used the line "If it works, don't fuck
with it."  I promptly asked him how long ago he had determined his
penis worked.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"If you add a teaspoon of wine to a barrel of sewage, you get sewage.
If you add a teaspoon of sewage to a barrel of wine, you get sewage.
This, my son, is entropy."
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mall of America
Date: 18 Aug 92 21:50:05 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <1992Aug18.003026.1@gumby.mgi.com> thompson@gumby.mgi.com writes:
>They still haven't learned. There isn't a square foot of carpet or anything
>else that might absorb sound in the entire Mall of America. The whole place is
>one big echo chamber. There's nothing quite like the background noise of
>100,000 people in a concrete, glass and steel building.



Way cool! Let's go there and scream our lungs out every day for a week.

They will get carpeting in there.

Or toss us all out.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mall of America or whatever it is
Date: 17 Aug 92 18:43:16 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <1992Aug15.095250.29786@mr.med.ge.com> hinz@picard.med.ge.com (David Hinz Mfg 4-6987) writes:
>Elaine Richards (booter@Autodesk.COM) wrote:
[Its cold there]
> 
>Yes, but we can BREATHE THE AIR.
>
>: Of course, I solved that by living in California.
>
[rant about how awful California is]

Its still cold there. When its not cold, there are mosquitos the size
of small dogs hurling their bodies through the air.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
From: russ@bbx.basis.com (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 20 Aug 92 16:38:38 GMT
Organization: BASIS International, Ltd., Albuquerque NM USA

In article <25041@castle.ed.ac.uk> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
>In article <25031@castle.ed.ac.uk> scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach) writes:
>=>And my point is that this isn't alt.isnt.is.isnt.is.
>
>'Tis so.

'Tisn't.

-- 
Russ Kepler, Basis International Ltd. russ@bbx.basis.com  phone: 505-345-5232

                 Do not throw rocks at this signature
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Krazy Sailors ( was: ]<razy ]<atz (was: Packaging and Stuff)
Date: 19 Aug 92 13:03:02 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:

>In article <17507@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:

>>Peeve: Nautical terminology. I go sailing with one fellow and he is
>>very fussy. Its "looward", "starboard", "port", "reefing", "Jib" (but
>>not "jib sheet", and so on. I sit there and say, "Can you say that in
>>English please?" as the boat heels so far over I am kissing Bay water.

I remember reading Michael Green's "Coarse" books when I was a kid. In
"The Art of Coarse Sailing" a Coarse Sailor is defined as "one who in
dire emergencies shouts 'For God's sake TURN LEFT!!'"

Not all of the Coarse books are extremely funny, but this one and "The
Art of Coarse Golf" are definitely good for starters.

FoFP
From: Gordon.Riddell@prg.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Brookside
Date: 18 Aug 92 10:38:23 GMT
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3


In <24930@castle.ed.ac.uk> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) seems to want to
demonstrate his fallability by repeating a mistake I'd already corrected:

|>In article <9208171452.AA08344@merlin.comlab.ox.ac.uk> Gordon.Riddell@prg.oxford.ac.uk writes:
=>In <24725@castle.ed.ac.uk> Jeremy Henderson shows he isn't an avid watcher of
=>Brookside :

|>That's fighting talk, sonny. See you behind the bike-sheds.

=>Margaret is also not a catholic,

|>Oh yeah? So what's she doing "worshipping" in a Catholic Church?

Far be it from me to correct you again but it was quite clearly stated before
Margaret attended her papist shrine with the randy Father Derek that she was
a good and wholesome Protestant. She had ben beguiled to attend Mass by her man
to impress his sister Dee-Dee. You probably didn't notice she didn't take 
communion given your repeated refusal to register the truth when it hits you
slap bang in the gob.

Any good catholic girl would have been racked with far more guilt at being 
rogered by a priest than she was.

So if we meet behind the bike-sheds be sure and wear your specs or you 
obviously won't see me without them.

Gordon


|>Could be worse - you could be watching Eldorado.

Oops, didn't I put that in my list, silly me!!


-- 
==================================================================
-Jeremy Henderson            |  Une souris verte
 egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk	     |  Qui courrait dans l'herbe
==================================================================
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:13486 talk.bizarre:25913
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: uk.misc,alt.peeves,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Handwriting (was: Spelling Flame)
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 12:05:33 BST
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

john@pharaoh.cyborg.bt.co.uk (Alive and Kicking) writes about pens vs
computers:
> But can you use your Psion Series 3 for important things such as:-
[...]
> 4. Gouging out Earwax.

No, you use cotton buds for that.

Actually, the stupid warnings on the back of packs of cotton buds really
annoy me.  You know, the ones that say "DANGER: DO NOT STICK COTTON BUDS IN
YOUR EAR".

Well, pardon me, but apart from sticking them in your ear (or someone else's)
the only use I can think of for cotton buds is cleaning the heads of cassette
decks.  Perhaps I'm just not imaginative enough.  I'd love to know what the
manufacturers think they're for.


mathew
-- 
"Even the most bizarre of the unions (probably that between a cat's gall
 stone and a single note 'G' from CNN's ident theme) managed to convey a
 sense of rampant impropriety."  -- 'Fortran Five', Simon G. Lawrence Leonard
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Packaging and stuff
Date: 12 Aug 92 20:19:24 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <1992Aug12.152109.27017@access.usask.ca> nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca (Mark Nesdoly) writes:
>cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:
>>5) What sadist invented the glue that they use on that first sheet of
>
>SortofrelatedbathroomPeeve:  Why do women insist upon putting those fuzzy
>       seat covers on toilets?  These devices from hell make it hard for
>       men to piss, since one has to hold the seat of the toilet up, while
>       relieving yourself in a doubled-over position (It's especially
>       bad for me, since I'm 6'3").  


Heh. Heh. Its a plot to force men to close the lid again.

Actually, I think they look really stupid. I mean, if you are going
to sit on the loo, the seat should be up, because there is not other
reason to sit there.

Peeve: Bathroom kitsch. Toilet paper covers lovingly crocheted in
acrylic hot pink yarn, cute little lithos of small children in the
tub or taking a leak, fuzzy anything, overdone towels, all make me
shudder. 

A woman I know had a bathroom that was stunningly simple. YOu walk in and
just see a toilet, sink and drain in the floor. "WHere's the shower, Mary?"
"Look up, booter." The whole bathroom was the shower. You clean yourself,
you clean the bathroom. Brilliant.

>'NutherPeeve:  Women who complain about men leaving the seat on the toilet 
>               up.  Is it so hard to turn around and look to see if the 
>               seat is down?  

I leave mine down because the cats get in it. I used to leave it up
and did not care. Then, Mehitabel jumped on a windowsill above the
toilet and knocked three plants over. One landed on poop in the litter
box, another landed in the toilet, and a third landed in the sink.
Later that year, I got up after using it and Mehitabel jumped off
that windowsill and landed in the head. I gingerly let her out and
chuckled at revenge for the time she peed on my sleeping bag.

Peeve: Foreign objects that won't stay put.


ER
--
	>elle@midway.uchicago.edu writes: >>drp@dosbears.uucp writes:
	>>Robin's Egg Blue      69-er                           69-ee
	>It's quite a trick, working out the difference between the two.
	>(Is this like "let's do 70:  you do me and I'll owe you one"?)
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:13623 alt.angst:3044 alt.tasteless:9091
From: malc@pyramid.unr.edu (Malcolm L. Carlock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst,alt.tasteless
Subject: Closed restrooms as a symptom of the decline of Western Civilization
Date: 18 Aug 92 06:44:43 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Xinaian Tourist Bureau

Peeve:   So I had to "visit the facilities" while driving out of Yosemite via,
	 Tioga Road, but in order to preserve what appeared to be a great
	 driving situation (no other cars in sight), decided to wait until
	 we'd reached Tioga Pass (heh) and use the restrooms there.  So we
	 get to the pass and find that the restrooms there had been closed
	 and padlocked, apparently permanently -- even the "men" and "women"
	 signs had been removed from above the doors.  Given the remarkable
	 level of service in the rest of the park, this particular omission
	 seemed particularly glaring, and, given my situation, particularly
	 egregious.  Made me want to "leave a deposit" at the closed
	 drive-up check-in window where the road leaves the park, but
	 "dropping a hint" in this manner would, IMO, be sacreligious in
	 Yosemite.  Plus the Park Service guys probably don't need any more
	 headaches.  The idea was tempting though...

!Peeve:  There was an appropriately equipped campground a few miles down the
         road.  Aaaah, civilization.

Peeve:   They permanently closed the public restrooms in the parks in Evanston,
	 IL back when I was living there as a wee bairn, and to the best of my
	 knowledge these strange, small, half-sunken bunker-like buildings are
	 still sitting there like mausolea, or remnants of Nazi machine-gun
	 nests at Normandy, or strange, overgrown, vaguely frightening pre-
	 Roman tumuli.  Why they don't just tear the ding things down after 25
	 years of permanent closure is beyond me.  I hate to think I might
	 "have to go" near there someday and that the only public bathrooms in
	 sight are closed.
--
Malcolm L. Carlock                      Internet:  malc@unr.edu
                                        UUCP:      unr!malc
                                        BITNET:    malc@equinox
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Hell wouldn't have him (was Re: !Peeve of the century)
Date: 13 Aug 92 19:12:15 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <834m=+l.rickg@netcom.com> rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon) writes:
>In article <5685@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> bandy writes:
>
>>Got a phone call from my lawyer yesterday!!!!!!!
>
>It's a miracle.
>
>So, bandy: What's it like on the other side?
> 
>>real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
>


Ask Cher, Madonna, or Angelica Huston how they are doing, while you're at it.


ER
--
	>elle@midway.uchicago.edu writes: >>drp@dosbears.uucp writes:
	>>Robin's Egg Blue      69-er                           69-ee
	>It's quite a trick, working out the difference between the two.
	>(Is this like "let's do 70:  you do me and I'll owe you one"?)
From: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: A simple proposal
Keywords: Losers (Lawyers in this case)
Date: 13 Aug 92 18:57:07 GMT
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu
Organization: Up the,


     Everyone is aware of the spate of large award liability suits
in the last 25 years that have driven everyone from kiddie train 
rides to makers of single engine aircraft out of business, and caused
the rest of us untold inconvenience.  The settlements usually have two
parts, compensatory (i.e. lost earnings, suffering, etc.) and, of course,
punitive.  

     As an example, suppose Sears sells some scaffolding with a safety
catch made of tissue paper.  Among many injuries, one person who has
broken a leg, resulting in a year of missed work, actually gets a judgement
against the corporate lawyers.  The punitive damages are necessary to 
deter Sears from selling completely shoddy products because the compensatory
damages, one year of pay to one guy, is chicken fodder to a big corporation.
But what is the result of the types of awards we've been seeing? One
window washer has $800,000 dollars to buy all the Bud-light, truck-pull
tickets, McDonald's hamburgers, Playboy magazines, and cigarettes he and 
his friends can use.  A half dozen lawyers can all buy new Beamers and 
spend another year looking for deep-pockets to pick.

      And that is really the point, this glut of ridiculous liability
suits is the result of lawyers taking on cases for a share of the huge
punitive awards.  My proposal is simply to give the punitive damages 
awarded by juries to the government, thereby reducing both the deficit
and bilious stench of cash gorged attorneys.  The victimized can still
be fairly compensated and the negligent still fairly punished.


Obpeeve: (obvious isn't it?) No more Cessnas; even bungee jumping in Florida
          has fallen victim.

ObBob: Feller
--
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The wages of sin are death, but the benefits include dental, major
medical, two week paid vacation, pension fund, and stock options.
Actually, taken as a package, it's a rather attractive deal.
          Tim Mefford___________________tim@physics.orst.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan Evans)
Subject: Re: Random Peeve
Summary: More drivel.
Organization: University of New South Wales
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 01:19:42 GMT

"Guess whoo" from ac.dal.ca writes:
> allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan the Ass from Oz) writes:
                                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Very original Mikey

> >> allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan (call me Linda)Evans) writes:
> >                                                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > Is this your personal fantasy? Sorry, I'm years younger and a different sex. 
> > Oops... I nearly forgot... that sort of thing makes *you* wet.
> 
> What, attractive women with a personality? You bet.

How long have you thought that Linda Evans was not a woman?

> Or perhaps "presunptuous".

This is in *your* dictionary? I realize that you did not realize that
Shakespeare has more than one "a" in it, but believe it or not, I think
you may have trouble finding presunptuous in any dictionary.

> >> GASP! caught! *smirk* (Al, please note: This is sarcasm).
> > Quoth he.
> 
> Well, I know I thought *this* was the best comeback I've seen in a bit.
> NAWT.

You certainly exhibit a lack of literary knowledge. Perhaps you should read
a book now and then instead of comic books. Wayne may have a funny world, 
but... listen closely... the real world is subtly different.

> > Please look up the definition of obtuse. 
> Oh, maybe you'd like me to explain. Have trouble with the alphabet, perhaps?
> Obtuse:more than 90 degrees and less than 180 degrees.
> How's that?

I thought as much. You are looking in the glossary of an Engineering text...
a dictionary is not quite the same thing. Which fraternity are you a member of?
DU's in Alberta tended to take pride in having a vocabulary larger than that
of a centipede, of course many of the Kappa Sigmas used to have trouble spelling
their names. 

> >> this post, you'd think I was Shakespere ( I say "was" instead of "were" 
> >                                ^^^^^^^^^^
> > Show this to mommy. You may get spanked... don't get too wet now.
> 
> Thanks. but my dear old Mommy (the English teacher) thinks I'm a pretty good 
> writer... I don't think spankings would be in the works if I were to show her 
> this stuff. 

It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury;
Signifying nothing.

		-William Shakespeare, Macbeth.
                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^

If your mother thinks *you* are a good writer, the fate of the next generation
is to be literary buffoons.

Al
_______________________________________________________________________________
| Yes, I know my return address is messed up. Petition my sysadmin..........  |
| Allan H. Evans * School of Geography * UNSW * PO Box 1 Kensington 2033 Aust.|
| allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU  Remote Sensing and Spatial Information Systems |
Newsgroups: alt.peeves