HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Weaver)
Subject: Re: Need a Sanity Check....
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 92 17:58:48 GMT

In article <1992Jul20.180808.22382@linus.mitre.org> jcr@mbunix.mitre.org (Rogers) writes:
>Experienced a mild rejection last night and I'm wondering if I jumped
>too quickly to an entirely unwarranted conclusion -- or was my reaction
>not completely unreasonable?  Here's the story....
>
(followed by a description about perhaps-overly-friendly behavior
 of ex-girlfriend, which leads to Jeff asking what is going on).

I think you did the right thing. 

It seems from what you said that she, having some difficulties with her
current boyfriend, wanted to spend some time with someone who she
wasn't in conflict, which turned out to be you. Having been close to
you in the past, she naturally fell into acting the way she did.  As
you know, most of what people do, they do not decide to do -- they just
semi-consciously follow their emotions and preconceptions.

My feeling is that if she is arguing with her boyfriend, then she is not
ready to leave him, because she is still trying to work through things.
However, it might be a sign that that relationship is in trouble.

You could tell what she was doing, but you could only find out her
intentions if she told you what they were. She probably had not thought
about what she was doing with you. But you could not tell if she had
not thought about it, or if she was pretending not to have thought about
it in order to lower your resistance to getting involved. Now you know
better what is in her mind, and she knows better how you expect her
to behave.

Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: artc@iplmail.orl.mmc.com (Art)
Subject: Words..........
Organization: MMC
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 13:19:41 GMT



words can rhyme in a poetry,
  smooth as the water in the backyard stream,
words can be rough and bumpy,
  well -> like the words I used in this little post,
words can embrace you,
  like making love in a cold cold winter night,
words can also cut you,
  like a sharp razor blade in the morning shave,
words is something I used in our fight,
  so I can sleep on the sofa last night,
words is what the love songs are made out of,
  and also something started a war,
words can hurt so much,
  especially in your higher pitch,
words can feel so comforting,
  when you whisper into me ear,
words are what I used,
  to tell you "I LOVE YOU", 
words are what you used,
  to tell me you I am meaningless to you,
words can be exchanged,
  like the bullets in a war,
words can be cofusing,
  that's how I feel right now,
words can also be swaped,
  when we say we're sorry,
words are what I will use,
  to whip you off your feet tonight,
words don't have to be used,
  let's just kiss and make up.........................
  
  
  
  
  
  to all those love-birds out there, wish me luck tonight!!!!!
  
  
                       Art
From: mysti@sybase.com (word salad)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Dates from Hell
Date: 21 Jul 92 20:51:31 GMT
Organization: Sybase, Inc.

In article <l66cgqINNf3d@mizar.usc.edu> montagna@mizar.usc.edu (Catherine Montagna) writes:
>Please tell me I'm not alone -- has anybody out there had
>dates from hell they'd wish to tell us about?

Well, there was the bloke who met me for dinner, and then
began to harangue me about his mother, who had been driven
out of business by the Evil Oil Companies, and then finished
up dinner with a full-volume discussion of how he'd quit
being an MP because he liked hitting people too much.
His point was about how sensitive he was.  Sigh....

There's a book which is a collection of hellish date stories.
I wonder how many are urban legends...

Mysti
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bicker@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Subject: Re: Females more likely to receive kindness from strangers
Reply-To: Brian.C.Kohn@att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Organization: The Internet
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 13:50:34 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance

In article <1992Jul29.173540.2003@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> mvb@po.CWRU.Edu (Michael V. Barreca) writes:
>>...This would surely explain why men
>>tend to go barreling into relationships and women are typically
>>resisters, and then men lose interest just when women want to put a
>>stake in the ground.
>I disagree.  I think that if you are to be in a serious relationship,
>you have to be able to see the problems of your RP and accept them.

Actually, you don't disagree.  I agree with you completely.  What one
"[has] to be able to" do and what people "tend to" and "typically" do
are two completely different things!

Thanks for finishing my thought.  :>

-- 
Brian Charles Kohn               using !bicker's account
Poet-Magician of "Quality"       E-MAIL: att!hoqax!bicker  (bicker@hoqax.ATT.COM)
    'Hope, not fear, is the most positive advocate of action.' - S.R. Lawhead
                   Stamp Out "SO": "RP" = "Romantic Partner"
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: Cologne (was Re: male sex appeal)
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Followups-To: alt.flame
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 21:53:06 GMT

tlr@penguins.East.Sun.COM (Tammy Roncadori - Administrator Sun Washington D.C.) writes:

: >How RUDE!  What an ASSHOLE....
: >-- 
: >Ed Carp, N7EKG	
: 
: I think it is VERY rude to get off the subject also and that person is a 
: major ASSHOLE....  I do believe the article revolved around cologne, not
: flaming smokers.  If you don't like cigarette smoke, start a thread where
: appropriate otherwise, keep your feelings to yourself.  Thank you very
: much Mr. Carp.

Uh ... who died and made you net.god{dess}?  Take your insults to alt.flame,
which is where followups are (appropriately) directed to.
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG		erc@apple.com	<-- preferred email address!
"In wildness is the preservation of the world."  - Henry David Thoreau
** Member, Linux port team - uucp division ** :)   801/269-8125
Xref: sparky alt.romance:10394 alt.romance.chat:16007
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: AIDS
From: mzener@eagle.wesleyan.edu
Date: 29 Jul 92 11:40:31 EDT
 <1992Jul29.045441.14120@cs.aukuni.ac.nz> <1992Jul29.061049.8115@mintaka.lcs.mit.edu>
Distribution: world,australia
Organization: Wesleyan University

code@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu () writes:
> what I heard on the radio I think, a few days ago is that the retrovirus
> (self-mutating) now also exists in a version that does NOT show up in AIDS   
> tests

   There have been a fewe  documented cases of people displaying opportunistic
infections (signs of a severaly weakened immune system) without testing
positive for HIV antibodies.  However, these cases are _widely_ scattered, thus
lending no creedence to the idea of a new virus (which would start in one
specific area).  Furthermore, it is already known that a window of opportunity
exists for the virus to start killing T-cells before antibodies are made.

   Basically, the chances of a new "stealth virus" are so low as to not get
worried about.  Still, let's be careful out there.

Max Zener
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: amymw@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Amy Wisotsky)
Subject: Re: confused by physical contact, need advice
Organization: Brandeis University
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 14:53:36 GMT

[article deleted...you know what you said. *grin*]

Dear anonymous,
	Be careful.  She could spend months allowing physical contact
but no real relationship.  You don't want to be strung along like
that.  If she never tells anyone about the relationship, she can fool
around with you, and also see other people, and no one would ever
know.
	On the other hand, she could be completely honest, and really
not sure of what she wants.  In this case, you need to give her some
time to decide how she feels.  I think you should keep your date for
the concert, but I would be wary of physicalities with her until you
know where you stand.

	Good luck...					-Amy- 
							 :)
----                                      
Amy M. Wisotsky -- amymw@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu 
"Once upon a time, in your wildest dreams...." 
				-Moody Blues   
        				  ----


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: u924185@postoffice.utas.edu.au
Subject: love  or gibberish?
Organization: University of Tasmania, Australia
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 05:44:52 GMT

Hi all,

This is my first posting to this news group, so I'm a little shy ;-)

Why does falling love with someone transform one into a gibbering,
half brain death, yet emotionally energised individual?

There is a young, female on campus who just fries my brain when
I see her, but I am just terrified to walk up to her and say Hi!

I think she is just perfect, but this makes me all the more insecure
about myself.

Anyone got any useful advice, please email.

=============================================================================
Love, it cuts like a knife, but we keep going back for more.
                                     - author unknown.
=============================================================================
From: bmeyer@feds12.prime.com (Robert A Meyer x2557 14-13)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: blind date
Summary: go for either option 1 or 3
Date: 30 Jul 92 21:19:38 GMT
Reply-To: bmeyer@feds12.UUCP (Robert A Meyer x2557 14-13)
Organization: Prime Computervision, Bedford MA


   You feel you have 2 choices:
  
      1) go on the blind date 
      2) don't go on the blind date

  of these I recommend the first. There is a third choice you may not have
  concidered:

      3) Organize (or have your friends organize) an activity/outing that 
         includes you, the girl and your friends. Hopefully more fun
         and less pressure for all invloved.

      And concerning dates from hell, they have anecdotal value that should
  not be underestimated, whether you are the offending or offended party, it
  makes for a great story.

      And concerning the fact that you are a shy young man. I think you should
  be seeking out rejection rather than trying to avoid it. Why...everyone gets
  rejected sometimes and it's always unpleasant, the sooner you learn to handle
  it the easier and less unpleasant it becomes.

  Watcha gonna do?

  Bob (who's been there)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: "dal" <p00056@mail.psi.net>
Subject: Re: Essence of Relationships
Organization: 1st Penn Pacific Life Ins.
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 18:41:47 GMT
X-Mailer: PSILink (3.01)

>DATE:   21 Jul 92 13:07:09 GMT
>FROM:   Rachana D Patel <rpatel@eniac.seas.upenn.edu>
>
>Hello.
>I was thinking about relationships in general and would like to hear some
>input from the rest of you. I am trying to figure out the true meaning
>or philosophical meaning of the need to have relationships. 
>Basically, I would like to undertand the difference between a relatioship
>and a strong/close friendship. 

I tend to believe the urge to interact and have relationships is caused
by the our fear of death. Or to say, that empty fear in the pit of our 
being that says..this is it..I am going to die and thats that. Notice how
incomplete some people are without a relationship, kinda like the fear is
getting to them. Some people need others to hold them and say you are not
alone...
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: tokorhon@messi.uku.fi (Tommi Korhonen)
Subject: Re: SH&LC: Totally f*cked up.
Date: 22 Jul 92 07:36:37 GMT
Organization: University of Kuopio, Finland

Hi Sam!
shulick@yankton.ucs.indiana.edu (Sam Hulick) writes:
>WELL.. how do you help a hurt person?  She's realy depressed, but it's not
>because of me.  She only told me that she's sick of friends screwing her
>over and stuff lke that.. I called her, but I didn't get to say a lot
>before she said "I gotta go" and hung up.  How can I talk to her?  Do I just
>wait for her to call..?  Or do I .. what??  What the hell am I supposed to
>do?

Uh oh. There seems to go another...
Help a hurt person? In a relationship? You hardly do. You MUST be 
good friends with her. Really give something to trust. Not to sway under
ANY conditions. Maybe she will understand the value of it. Consciously.
Now, it seems that you might not have easy to get on contact with her, but 
give her couple of days. Then approach real carefully. Like you would approach
an animal. (really, sounds bad, but that's it. Like scared animal. Honest 
and slow. No rush.)
You should not wait for her call, unless you are *sure* it will come.
If this is the same case we have been hearing before, then you must the 
friend for her. You told he hung up? It might have been just a moments 
anger to everything or to men or anything. (I can not tell, not that I
knew the case, but that I can't get a grip of this part in women.)
But if you'll get in touch with her and she has calmed down a bit, then 
you might be the one to save the day!
Usually it's just time which heals, good friends help, but they must not 
be too exaggerating (sp?).

You must have lotsa guts to face these things with calmness and reassurance.
But hey! It is not much worse than being eaten by a Dragon!

* Sorry if this annoyes you by being in public, but I think the situation 
needs it. Good luck.

-- 

It's Tkorho above there, at tokorhon@messi.uku.fi
"The Black Crow of love"
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jasonbr@next14pg2.wam.umd.edu (Jason Bert Rust)
Subject: Jason's LJBF problems
Organization: Workstations at Maryland, University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 06:15:10 GMT

 Hi, its Jason. I'm the guy who was complaining that I'm infatuated with a  
friend named Pheobe....
 Wow, I didn't think I'd get so many personal bits of advice from my post.
I've printed them all out, and I'm going to read them again. I haven't
decided on a course of action yet, I may just try and go out to lunch
with her and some other folks. Yes, the old "pretend I don't want to date
you, and I really just want to have lunch" approach!
 I'll repost if I figure out my life.
-Jason the Potato Virus
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: pierre@cs.UAlberta.CA (Pierre Honeyman)
Subject: Re: Advice on this problem much appreciated...
Keywords: advice, romance, touching, advances
Organization: University of Alberta, Edmonton, Canada
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 17:13:56 GMT

hbsperki@kraken.itc.gu.edu.au (James Perkins) writes:

>I am currently in the beginning stages of a relationship with a friend of
>mine, and it seems to be going OK at this point.  She has come over to my
>place for dinner, and we have gone out for coffee and a long chat.  It's
>been fun.

>However, I have a question: I am unsure on how to proceed.  For too long I
>have been unsure of myself with regards initiating physical intimacy.  I
>know that this relates to my upbringing (and I could enter into a big debate
>here, but I won't), but it is still difficult for me.  What I suppose I am
>asking is: how do I know when it is appropriate to give a hug or a kiss or

Ask her.

>other expressions of affection?  I haven't even established at this point
>whether she is looking for a platonic or romantic relationship.

Ask her.

>Despite my age (all I will say is that I am under 25) I am very unsure about
>these sorts of things.  I want to express my affection non-verbally but I am
>extremely inhibited physically.  I haven't even held hands with her yet.  I
>have no real problems once a relationship gets going...inhibition and
>insecurity is not an issue there.  It is just in this initial stage, when we
>are still establishing our "norms" or what it is acceptable and not
>acceptable to do, that I have problems.

>Any ideas?  Replies from both males who have been in a similar situation
>(I'm sure you all have...everybody has to decide on their mutual behaviours
>at some point, although I suspect it's probably not as conscious as I am
>trying to make it) and from females who can provide advice on what they do
>on such occasions are most welcome.

>Could you please send any replies to me direct via e-mail as I don't always
>have access to the net...e-mail will ensure that I receive them.

>Thankyou.

Crikey, why don't people talk?  It makes life a lot easier.  I have found
that if you are confused about a point in a relationship, ie: what is ok
physically and what isn't, TALK ABOUT IT!!!!  It's really not that hard
once you get started.

I used to be all closed mouthed too, but recently I have found that when
you open up about your desires and ask questions, things are so much easier.
It may not be comfortable for you to ask if it's all right to kiss her, but
think of how uncomfortable it would be for you to find out by first kissing
her and then having her go "Eeeew, get away".

	Pierre
From: markway1112@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Pre-marital Sex and Relationships
Date: 29 Jul 92 10:34:55 -0500
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

Hi!

This has always been something I've been curious about.  I'd like
to conduct a short e-mail poll (don't post responses, please.. I know
people get sick of poll responses on the newsgroup).  In your opinion,
does pre-marital sex do more to enhance the relationship, or harm it?
I have read several articles about researchers debating the issue.. some
say that pre-marital sex will make the ensuing marriage stronger; others
claim that it can break down faith in one's spouse's fidelity and
be a precursor for divorce.  If a virgin came up to you and said
that he/she was considering having sex with their serious boyfriend,
what would you recommend based on your own experiences?

Thanks, and everyone have a "bouncy" day-

love,
Tigger (the female one)

Please e-mail responses to markway1112@iscsvax.uni.edu
:)

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: daw@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (Dave Webb)
Subject: Ideas and suggestions on long distance relationships.. PLEASE?
Organization: HAC - Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 15:11:15 GMT

I have just started dating a girl who lives in New York City.. I'll be going up
this Friday to spend the weekend.  I live in Baltimore.  Needless to say, I'll
need another job to pay for the phone bills that have accumulated so far.. hehe.Everything has been going great and I was just wondering what to expect and what
to avoid in having this long distance romance.  ANYONE have any advice or 
stories to tell in regard to this?  I'm curious on how you all view this sort of
relationship.  We live about 3 to 3.5 hours away from each other and plan on 
spending as much time as we can together.  I'll be looking to hear what you
have to say.. you can e-mail or post here.  I REALLY appreciate it!
			
					Dave Webb

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson)
Subject: Re: A Romantic Idea
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 23 Jul 92 10:41:42 CDT

In article <NEV.92Jul22152753@bonsai.stl.stc.co.uk>, nev@stl.stc.co.uk (Neil Vince) writes:
|> 
|> 	Here's the scene, a week on Sunday I will have been dating my
|> girlfriend for a year and I want to do something special!  I live in London
|> at the moment and she lives in the South of Scotland so when I go and visit 
|> her every fortnight it involves a 400 mile drive which takes a long time. 
|> So saying that she thinks that me just coming home is special, we've done all
|> the usual things (don't ask) that young (early 20's) do AND just at the 
|> moment I am broke, but thats nothing new.  I just would like some ideas of
|> what we could do that is completely different yet romantic.  Any of you
|> budding romantics got any good ideas?

this is something i've wanted to try, but haven't yet.

(it requires your SO being out of the house for a short period
of time...takes place at night...and may involve sex)

from just inside the front door (or whichever door your SO will be
reentering the house from) begin a trail of flower petals, with a note 
explaining that your SO should follow the trail.  have 
the trail lead into another room, where the trail will come to 
something special for your SO (maybe a single rose, or something
specific to YOUR SO).  with this first item, leave a romantic
note (tell your SO how you feel about them, allude to what will 
happen when they reach the end of the trail).  continue the trail
of petals to another item (a small gift, ie. for a female: a small
gold heart pendant on a fine filigree chain), which will of course
be accompanied by a note as well.  continue the trail to *your room
of choice* (i would choose the bedroom, so that's what i'll describe).

once your SO is at the door to the bedroom, they will see the trail
of petals leading up to the bed.  on the bed there are scattered wild
flowers and loose rose petals, and around the bed are a few candles 
which provide the only light in the room.  you are sitting off to the
side, waiting for your SO, and once they enter the room...

you're on your own.

c

+===============================================================+
Christine Nelson           Going out of my mind...   
nelson@eastrg1                     ...back in 5 minutes.
Xref: sparky alt.romance:10306 talk.bizarre:23306 misc.test:8929
From: regan1046@bestsd.sdsu.edu (MARCEL SCHWANTS)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,talk.bizarre,misc.test
Subject: Re: oh, puh-leeze...(was: ed is lord)
Summary: I think not, ladies.
Date: 25 Jul 92 00:01:00 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: San Diego State University - Dept. of Redundancy Dept.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1

In article <1992Jul24.174629.15076@lambda.msfc.nasa.gov>, cfar@lambda.msfc.nasa.gov (Carol Farquhar)  writes...
>nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson) writes:
> 
>>i don't know about all the other women of the world, but i for one
>>am sick and tired of men assuming that whenever a woman gets upset, she
>>must have PMS.  men are allowed to act like witless bastards at will,
>>because they're MEN, and they're not responsible...it's the 
>>testosterone.  but women?  nope...they're supposed to remain like  
>>mrs. brady, or mrs. cleaver, or mrs. cunningham (now aren't they
>>realistic role models?  chee-yah, right).  
> 
>Ditto!!
> 
>Carol
> 
 <Joe Pesci mode> UkayUkayUkay...
 My darling Christine, first of all, I do have the required testostorone level
 for a male, but to conclude that *THAT* is what makes the over-generalized,
 stereotyped, insensitive jerks described by you, is an indication that
 you're not meeting the right guys. I am *NOT* a "witless bastard" and never
 act like one at will, whatever that means. That is comparable to saying
 you're PMSing because of your outspoken anger.

 Peace to you, and may you find better company of males to be in. :)

 Marcel, 
 the Boy Wonder
> 
>-- 
>Carol Farquhar-New Technolgy,Inc    = "The degree of a peoples civilization is
>Huntsville, AL                      =  reflected in its attitude towards 
>cfar@lambda.msfc.nasa.gov           =  animals."
>Opinionated ravings are all mine!