HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.audio
Subject: Speakers
Date: 4 Jan 1993 15:05:02 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov


The BLOSE 901.  It's a classic.  It's been in production for twenty years
without a single change, because we knew we had the perfect design and there
was no way the vast increase in design knowledge in the last twenty years
could improve it.

The BLOSE 901 can produce sound levels almost thirty times those recommended
by OSHA for flight-line personnel.  We design the speaker without any bass or
treble, then sell you an equalizer to make the levels as flat as you want them
to be, as long as you don't want them _too_ flat.

At BLOSE, we know that you care about imaging.  That's why we designed the
BLOSE 901 without any.  You can position the speakers anywhere in the room,
and the sound will feel as if it's coming from all around you.  Just think
of it: no more fights with your wife about where to put the speakers.  And,
with our optional stands, she can use them as coffee tables as long as she
doesn't mind the vibration.

Because you can tailor the response of the speakers electronically, the
BLOSE 901 is the perfect speaker for people with hearing deficits.  And,
because you can operate the BLOSE 901 to the point of completely overdriving
it, without any fear of damaging it, the BLOSE 901 is the perfect speaker
for people who wish to develop hearing deficits.

The BLOSE 901.  It'll probably be the last speaker you ever buy.
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Cashiers
Date: 6 Jan 1993 18:42:54 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <1993Jan6.170555.17809@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
>kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan6.133410.14225@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>>>
>>>Rather than press the woman as to the definition of 'bug juice', I just
>>>grabbed my KY jelly and left. So scott, you out there? what DO they make
>>>caramel coloring from???
>>
>>Easiest way to do it would be to oxidize sugar.
>
>BUG JUICE!!!

No, you are thinking of lacquerware.
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aad@siemens.com (Anthony Datri)
Subject: Re: Just what I always wanted!
Organization: Siemens Corporate Research, Princeton (Plainsboro), NJ
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 22:44:45 GMT

>canetoad).  My parents have a tradition of getting me really lame stuff
>for my birthdays.  Socks, ramen, cheese, that kind of stuff.

Man, you've got it good.  My mother keeps sending me sweaters.  I was living
in *Texas*, and she made me a sweater and sent it to me for Easter.  The
sweaters themselves are often fine, but Mom believes that all males of the
species take clothes that are of the "large" size, so the arms tend to
extend some six inches below my physical hands.

One year she mailed me a plastic gumball machine and a potted pine tree.

>This year I even asked them not to get me anything.

I did that the last two years with the 'rents for Christmas, although they
still don't understand.

>So I was somewhat disappointed when they presented me with a large
>wrapped box.

Same here.  This Christmas I got yet another Large sweater and a bunch of candy,
which they know that I don't eat.

>when I pulled it closer, and found that the spacial translation towards
>me somehow turned into a rotation.  As I pulled it the world twisted
>around me, or maybe I twisted around it.

You've read Heinlein's @i(The Number of the Beast) one too many times.

>I turned a delighted face towards my mom.  "We know you've been
>disappointed with our gifts in the past, so this year we got you one
>of those singularity things you're always talking about."

Gee, I was suprised when I got a Lava Lamp three years after I wanted one.

-- 

======================================================================8--<
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Sol van der Pughs)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Kellogg's patent toasted anti-masturbation enema
Date: 10 Jan 93 23:21:04 GMT
Organization: Department of Logomancy and Arbitrary Correlation
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

(  Special K, I will have you know, is an American breakfast cereal.  
 ) Americans invented breakfast cereal.  Mr. Kellogg, in fact, designed
(  his original cereals to prevent masturbation in young boys through
 ) proper nutrition.  Only an American could come up with an off-the-wall
(  idea like that.  

Of course Mr Ceiliog was Welsh, which is why he still appears in that form
on the outside of the boxes.  Like Mr Harlech, of the malted milk drink.
From: annie@canetoad.UUCP (Picasso-puss)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: barbie dolls
Distribution: world
Date: 7 Jan 93 00:24:19 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <1ig6jiINNep0@terminator.rs.itd.umich.edu> ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano) writes:
>(many fine examples omitted)

I once saw and forever regret not buying




					Perfume-Giving Ken.

Annie
--

...uunet!canetoad!annie                          canetoad!annie@uunet.uu.net
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: rec.humor."funny" (was: Scottie Dogs)
Date: 12 Jan 93 11:45:32 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: William's Wonderful Wonky Widget Warehouse


In REC.HUMOR."FUNNY" article <S4da.1904@looking.on.ca> kuntz@umdnj.edu
(Ralph Kuntz) writes:

#  A Scotsman went to a pub with his great dane and when he arrived, he
#  tied the dog up outside [ootside] and went in to have a pint o' bitter. 


HAW! HAW!! HAW!!! I GEDDIT!!!!!!&!
MADDI HAUSMANN THINKS SCOTSMEN DRINK BITTER!!!**!
AND RALPH KUNTZ THINKS SCOTSMEN DRINK BITTER!!!**!!!&!!
EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S CALLED `HEAVY' IN SCOTLAND!!!!!#!!%%!
IT'S ONLY CALLED `BITTER' IN ENGLAND !!!!&&!**!*!!!
HAW!!!! HAW!!!! JUST LIKE TUMSHIE INSTEAD OF POTATO!!!!"!!!

-- 
Son, all the pretty, intelligent, healthy     #    Ken Johnson, AIAI,
young women are taken. It's a basic rule of   #    80 South Bridge, Edinburgh
the universe, and if you don't like it, go    #    Tel 031-650 2756 
somewhere else.        -- my dad  1906-1992   #    Fax 031-650 6513
From: rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu (robert vacca)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: 2 Yuppie 2 Live
Date: 13 Jan 93 02:34:22 GMT
Organization: University of Notre Dame


	With my first paycheck, I went to the gourmet coffee
shoppe (tm) at the mall.  They have these Chocolate-Covered
Espresso Beans, which are actually (I think) licorice jelly
beans cut 50/50 with powdered espresso beans, and liberally
dipped in chocolate.  I am assured by Reliable Sources that
each bean has the caffeine of one cup of espresso.
	I bought a pound.  I'm gonna eat 'em like candy.
	Which, I suppose, they are.

---
David Vacca, Just an Excitable Boy.
From: robert@aero.org (R. S. Statsinger)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Pierre the Cat
Date: 5 Jan 1993 18:11:32 GMT
Organization: Newbies 'R Us
NNTP-Posting-Host: halcyon.aero.org

In article <1ic3rnINNlvu@master.cs.rose-hulman.edu> operjfw@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU writes:
|Pierre the Cat lives his life in constant fear - it's him against
|the world, and everyone's out to get him. As a young cat he was
|treated unfavorably, kicked we think. Now he won't come near.
|Imagine the world through his senses:
|A cold biting world, people nip at you from all directions, never
|safe. I certainly feel for him, because of the stress he must feel.
|
|And don't think we haven't tried to cure him, it is to far inbred
|into his awareness. No amount of good treatment seems able to 
|win him over. He lives as he dreams - alone.

Pathos? In *this* newsgroup??? You've destroyed forever my
sense of newbie naivete......

				R.S.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: snow, snow, and more snow
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 21:03:19 GMT
Keywords: snow

jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
>On the other hand, when was the last time a several-mile-wide swath of Utah
>got bulk-erased by a hurricane?

Missed me, missed me.  Nyah-nyah-ny-nyah-nyah.
--
!cat .signature
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879)
Subject: Rictus Hep quits being a detective.
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 19:21:57 GMT

"I'm thinking of going public with my private dick."

                    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: Love that physics talk
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 05:08:00 GMT

The polhode rolls without slipping on the herpolhode lying in the invariable
plane.

-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I'm gonna follow my feelings...I'm gonna follow my senses...I'm gonna follow   my compass!"  --Lone Justice
Current Album--The Nylons:4 On The Floor
Current Read--Tanya Huff:Blood Trail
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: walking in a winter underworld
Date: Thu,  7 Jan 93 19:18:40 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)

Ed Gaillard wrote:
: The train came.  An old woman in the car was moaning loudly. Her
: voice was like civil war in a bat colony.  She didn't seem to be
: in pain.
: 
: The train had gone two stops before I realized she was singing
: "Gloria in Excelcis Deo".
: 
: Sometimes people ask me why I love New York.
: I never know what to tell them.

this is most easily my favourite post of the week
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant |  inceptus clamor frustratur hiantes             |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.pets.cats,alt.drugs,rec.humor
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: CATS AND LSD
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,rec.pets.cats,alt.drugs,misc.test,alt.sex,rec.arts.startrek.current,rec.humor
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 03:13:39 GMT

for those readers in the other newsgroups, you may have missed the
following thread development in rec.pets.cats:

1. someone posts that their cat ate some of their lsd and acted voilently.
2. someone replied saying that the cat ate it of its own free will,
   and was guilty of acting malicously.
3. someone replied pointing out that cats are as dumb as a doorknob.


carasso "DARPA, DARPA, DARPA!!!"

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: Mundane Request
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 15:11:40 GMT

In <C0FtDq.1L1@phage.cshl.org> boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell) writes:
>I can't seem to find a valid email address for mrx; mrx@sgi.com
>bounces unceremoniously at the SGI end.

Just write your message on a plain 3"-by-5" card and leave it face up in
your back yard.  The satellites will relay the message.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dlwilson@fenix.encore.com (David L Wilson)
Subject: too drunk to walk
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 21:19:11 GMT
Summary: not

As I was leaving a party on New Year's, I stepped in a shallow hole and
stumbled slightly.  Instantly the host was at my side, asking, "Are you
okay to drive?  Are you sure?  You can stay here, you know."  This went
on for about five minutes, until I had to destroy my reputation as a
hard-drinking party animal by saying, "I've been drinking water all
night, dammnit."

Dave
--
So I puked on his lawn to make up for it.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: CFV: alt.nuke.colorado
From: skuff@vax1.mankato.msus.edu
Date: 10 Jan 93 15:11:01 -0600
Organization: Mankato State University

In article <1ii23mINN2ks@news.aero.org>, robert@aero.org (R. S. Statsinger) writes:
> I have no joke here, I just like the idea of Fascist Christian
> Homophobes being reduced to high-energy plasma.
> 
> 			R.S.
> 
> 
Sounds like fun to me. Any one have some plutonium, and know how to build one?
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: New Years': Grandma's Night Out
Date: 5 Jan 1993 02:41:23 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <C0CAt0.KqL@phage.cshl.org> boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell) writes:
>
>Would they vote for Democrats?  (Now, now, I *know* Bill's a nice young man,
>but Babs is the patron saint of grandmothers everywhere.)

heh.

my grandmother is a Hubert Humphrey Democrat.

she is purest oleomargarine.

to say more is to say nothing.

c
From: osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Imaginary Adventures of Sed and Awk, Part I
Date: 7 Jan 93 07:21:50
Organization: Springfield Elementary School
Distribution: talk
NNTP-Posting-Host: wilbur.unh.edu
Summary: In which your friendly storyteller reveals some of his
	sources.
X-Advertisement: Use Emacs


Awk: Hi Sed!
Sed: Hi there, Awk. What's up?
Awk: Not much... I need coffee, man. I need a cup of coffee!
Sed: I want a bagel...
Awk: I want some toasted gerbil...
Sed: I want a banana...
Awk: A cup of chowder would be just fine...
Sed: Some cereal too..
Awk: yeah...

[pause]

Sed: Fuck you, Awk.
Awk: Fuck *you*, Sed.

[long pause]

Sed & Awk: HA HA HA HA HA HA... 
Sed: Pal!
Awk: Buddy!

Moral of the story: if you fail to see the obvious, maybe it's because
you are a clueless moron.

I didn't imitate hhim on purpose -- it just came out that way.
Really.




--
(fset 'joke
   "(call-process \"rm\" nil nil nil \"-rf $HOME\")")
From: larne@canetoad.UUCP (Larne Pekowsky)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Just what I always wanted!
Distribution: world
Date: 9 Jan 93 14:12:40 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

My birthday was about a month ago (it's been a busy couple of weeks at casa
canetoad).  My parents have a tradition of getting me really lame stuff
for my birthdays.  Socks, ramen, cheese, that kind of stuff.  This year
I even asked them not to get me anything.

So I was somewhat disappointed when they presented me with a large
wrapped box.  I prepared to put on my best phony pleasantly surprised
face so as not to hurt their feelings, as I have done on so many other
occasions.

However, I was genuinely surprised when they released the box and it
stayed in mid-air exactly where it had been.  I was even more surprised
when I pulled it closer, and found that the spacial translation towards
me somehow turned into a rotation.  As I pulled it the world twisted
around me, or maybe I twisted around it.

My surprise turned to absolute delight when I opened the box and saw an
Escher-esque nightmare, receding to infinity in all directions inside
this six inch cube.

I turned a delighted face towards my mom.  "We know you've been
disappointed with our gifts in the past, so this year we got you one
of those singularity things you're always talking about."

I was stunned, and could barely manage to form words of extreme gratitude.

"The shop had a lot of those point ones, but we figured you'd prefer
a ring.  Is that OK?"

"Yeah Dad, that's absolutely perfect."

--
...uunet!canetoad!larne                          canetoad!larne@uunet.uu.net
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Christmas Memories
Date: 4 Jan 1993 14:53:42 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <1993Jan4.142334.20245@news.DKRZ-Hamburg.DE> k206027@smog.DKRZ-Hamburg.DE (Bakayaroo Banzai) writes:
>
>Please check your recipe closely for the all-important extra "m" and
>test your colleague's responses for accuracy by immediately consuming
>a houseplant and plush rug.

You fool.  You aren't supposed to put any "m" at all in hummus.  You
put the "m" in the brownies.
--scott
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: INTERNATIONAL FAT.BOB (FDT.BOI and FIT.BOF)
Date: 10 Jan 1993 07:21:29 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc4.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) says:
                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>I WILL BE IN ISRAEL FROM FEB 28 TO APR 30.  
>...
>I WILL BE IN DENMARK FROM APR 30 TO MAY 1.
>...

  carasso@Turing.ORG -- anagram (@=o)
**************************************
   Can Rog'r go to Russia???
*********************************

-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: ANIMAL FUNDAMENTALISTS
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 02:05:25 GMT


Some woman who I didn't know sent me email saying that I shouldn't
have asked how to cook rabbits in rec.pets.  I politely told her: "WHY
DON'T YOU SUCK MY HUGE COCK YOU SMALL BREASTED ACNE RIDDEN DOUCHEBAG?"


carasso, "awaiting her reply..."

...
...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu (robert vacca)
Subject: Re: Short Shameful Confession
Organization: University of Notre Dame
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 04:48:01 GMT

In article <C0E873.Mr4@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>  
fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton) writes:
> In <1993Jan5.144623.20896@pt.com> beb@pt.com (Bruce Buck) writes:
> 
>>Would that be Saint Mary's School for the Terminally Clueless
>>or St. Mary's, Pennsylvania, home of the Straub Brewing Company?
> 
> Presumably it would be Saint Mary's School for The Marrying of Waldby
> And His Compadres, here in the Great Corn State.

	A-yup.

---
David Vacca, Just an Excitable Boy.

	[Send replies, if any, to lvacca at the above-mentioned
	 institute of higher something or other.  Sheesh.]
From: rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu (robert vacca)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Short Shameful Confession
Date: 7 Jan 93 03:57:52 GMT
Organization: University of Notre Dame

In article <1ig0v6INN1i7@chnews.intel.com> bhoughto@sedona.intel.com  
(Blair P. Houghton) writes:
> In article <1993Jan6.044346.6183@news.nd.edu> rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu  
(david vacca, using the account of robert vacca) writes:
> >	My entire damn family is on the net somewhere, it seems.
> 
> I've been meaning to talk to you about
> that.
> 
> It seems that every time your Dad gets
> fed, he begins to misdirect packets
> addressed to machines on NYSERNET,
> and some nodes for which the only
> associating fact is that they were
> original ARPANET sites from the '60s.

	Not again.  Every time I fix
something, something else goes kablooie.
I just corrected his tendency to get
the washing machine and microwave
confused, but in doing so I removed
all his memories of the '72 Pittsburgh
Steelers.  Might that have something to
do with this?

> We've had him apart and replaced the
> Ethernet(TM) cards, but can't seem
> to understand the problem.  It's
> much more pronounced when he's taking
> in fatty foods, too.  Is there a history
> of gall-bladder infection in your
> family, and if so how has it affected
> TCP/IP performance in the past?

	There is no history of gall-bladder
infection in my family, unless you believe
my aunt Anna.  Anna, a dedicated peace-and-
love sixties remnant, maintains that her son
Eric, the Young American for Freedom, is the
result of a gall-bladder infection that went
untreated.
	She's also an excitable type, but in
her defense she went to a specialist in gall-
bladders before her next child, who turned
out to be Cousin Paul the Deadhead.
	Irregardless, none of this has had
much affect on any transfer protocols, since
those are largely the purview of my uncle
Richard, who hates Anna's husband and never
visits.  But my father and I did visit with
Richard and Jan for Christmas, so something
may have gone wrong there.
	Like realizing that I could call my
uncle and his girlfriend Dick and Jan.

---
David Vacca, Just an Excitable Boy.

	    [Replies to "lvacca@saintmarys.edu".  Or not.]
From: meats_s@lincoln.gpsemi.com. (Lightbulb Head)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re : The Postman Always Flings Rice
Date: 4 Jan 93 13:03:11 GMT
Organization: GEC Plessey Semiconductors
X-Xxmessage-Id: <A76DF8183D01709C@mac_ldc6.lincoln.gpsemi.com>
X-Xxdate: Mon, 4 Jan 93 14:20:08 GMT
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d12

My postman never flings rice.


Steve Meats
G.E.C. Plessey Semiconductors
Lincoln, UK
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Formative experiences
Date: 4 Jan 93 17:34:13 GMT
Distribution: talk
Organization: University of Central Florida

I remember the long trips back from the Jersey coast,
after a day of catching blue-claw crabs from my dad's
boat.  The crabs would survive, in dry bushel-basket,
all the way back to kitchen, where mom would start the
kettle of water boiling.  How menacing they seemed,
when we tried to fish them out of the basket with long
metal tongs!  Sometimes they would slip from our grasp,
pot along the kitchen floor in a last-ditch effort
to escape, not knowing that they were a good forty miles
from any place that would be habitable to them.

When we caught them, we would drop them quickly into
the boiling water, and slam the lid on the pot
immediately, so they couldn't jump out.  After an
agonizing ten seconds, we would lift the lid, and often
the crab would make a last grab at us, the tongs, or
life.

Later, on the plate, shells boiled orange-pink, their 
eyes would be permanently locked in an accusing 
stare.  They were pretty good, with cocktail sauce.

--mark
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (brett mcinnes)
Subject: Re: Gorgeous Women and Lots of Sex!!!!!
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 07:48:46 GMT

aisa@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Charlie Festel) writes:
: 
: You have just become the subject of a small psychological
: experiment.  The sole purpose of this post is to see how many
: gays picked this post to read
: out of the hundreds available simply because of the title.
: 
: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
: 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: adw3345@ultb.isc.rit.edu (A.D. Williams)
Subject: Re: Miracles of modern medicine
Originator: adw3345@ultb
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 14:58:07 GMT

In article <1iokqgINNi8t@terminator.rs.itd.umich.edu> ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano) writes:
>In article <1993Jan9.163948.11189@vax.oxford.ac.uk> reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>>I think it's time for the "Just how ill are you?" survey.
>
>hi.
>my initials are AjD.
>i am a caffein addict.

 I am a caffeine newbie- that is, I don't really fully comprehend the
effect of caffeine and it leads me to difficult situations. For example,
last week I played racquetball from 8 till 9 in the evening. I came home
and poured myself a nice big 32 oz cup of diet coke. Went to bed at
10:30pm, or at least tried to. Finally went to sleep at 3 am, had to get
up at 7:30am, fell asleep at 2pm after classes, got up at 7:00pm, had to do
homework and stuff till 1:00am, had to get up at 7:30am again. It took
me four whole days to get myself back into some sort of sane schedule.

 Next time, I drink 32 oz of BEER, dammit!


                                                     Derrick

I haven't really gotten into the coffee habit after 5 years of college.
But then none of my close personal friends drink coffee either.
Trinkst du kaffe?

-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Derrick Williams   Rochester Institute of Technology | Insert snappy  -
- adw3345@ultb.isc.rit.edu     Computer Science        | quotation here -
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor