From: kevin@daffy.ee.lbl.gov (Kevin Gong)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: Asking someone his "nationality" (Today's "Dear Abby")
Date: 23 Jul 1992 17:33:44 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory, Berkeley
Distribution: na
Reply-To: kevin@daffy.ee.lbl.gov (Kevin Gong)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.112.42

In article <yuan1.711896952@husc9> yuan1@husc9.harvard.edu (Nina Yuan) writes:
>jpak@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Jim Pak) writes:
>>Seems kind of pointless to me.  If the thought of mentioning your ethnicity
>>to a curious stranger is truly offensive to you, then just simply say, "I'd
>>rather not discuss my ethnicity."  Then, if they really meant where you came
>>from rather than your ethnicity, the stranger will simply say something like,
>>"Oh, I didn't mean your ethnicity; I really wanted to know where you came
>>from", and then you can tell them (unless you don't want to tell them that,
>>either).  But to be purposefully coy doesn't serve much purpose, IMO.
>
>I don't think I'm trying to be coy, and I certainly have no desire to lecture
>strangers on the semantics of their questions, I'm just answering their
>question with the truth.

The original question was "Where are you from?"  Now, maybe I'm a little
strange, but when someone asks me where I'm from, the last place on my mind
is China (especially considering I've never been there).

I've asked people that question, and they've asked me, and I can't remember
it ever having hidden meanings.  When I ask someone where they're from, I
expect them to tell me where they're from.

If you asked a 4th or 5th generation American with a southern accent where
they were from, and they said "Scotland," you'd probably be offended.

>>OK, a few more comments.  Yes, I know a "typical" white or black person who
>>doesn't have a "foreign" accent doesn't get asked that question with the
>>hidden meaning attached to it.  But so what?  Maybe I'm just getting older
>>and mellower (doubtful), but among life's inconveniences caused by race,
>>this one's pretty low on my scale.  Actually, like Huy said, it can be a
>>nice conversation opener.  And why assume (unless they ask it like an asshole,
>>in which case they deserve to get nailed by you) that non-Asians think you're
>>not Real Americans[tm], rather than the simpler assumption that they know
>>you're American too and meant to ask about your ethnicity but were simply too
>>careless to phrase the question precisely?
>
>Granted, this is not an earth-shaking problem.  But lots of the problems
>faced by Asian-Americans today can be traced back to a confusion on the
>part of everyone else over the difference between "Asian" and "Asian-American"
>(i.e. Japan bashing and similar incidents).  What disappoints me is that
>Abby, who has succeeded in many ways in educating people though her column,
>has also failed to make this distinction.

I'm not offended if someone asks me where I'm from.  I simply tell them, the
SF Bay Area, simply because I never think they're asking me my ethnicity.
I'm not offended if they ask me my ethnicity.  The simplest way to ask is to
just guess.  I've had people ask me if I'm Chinese.  I've had people ask me
if I'm Filipino.  I answer them.

I agree with Nina...This is not an earth-shaking problem.  But "Abby"
should realize that there are Asian-Americans, and they consider themselves
Americans, and when someone asks them where they are from, they will reply
"Cincinatti," not because they're avoiding an implied question, but because
they're answering the stated one.  It is important that Americans realize
the difference between "Asian" and "Asian-American."  Maybe it seems strange
to tell this to an advice columnist, but imagine all the people across the
country who read it.

 - kevin