HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: "ryan nyberg" <ryan.nyberg@execnet.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: calling howard: (was
Date: 24 Jul 92 23:06:41 EST
Reply-To: "ryan nyberg" <ryan.nyberg@execnet.com>
Distribution: alt
Organization: Executive Networks Information

RH>In article <1992Jul15.080031.10509#mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> dnadams@nyx.cs.du.edu (Dean Adams) writes:
>I'm also beginning to wonder if you might not just making this all up
>only to be annoying...  I mean really, it sounds like that show would
>make "Wayne's World" look like Emmy award winning material!
>
RH>"this week in joe's basement is a *real* television show on chicago public
RH>access; it's the kind of show that stern's only *pretends* to be.  it's

Wonderful. So go and start your own newsgroup. Or to put it *bluntly*,
find some one who cares and send redundant e-mail to *them*
---
  DeLuxe/386 1.25 #9362  Your mother bakes urinal cakes
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Executive Network Information System  (914) 667-4567
International ILink Host
From: pr@devmail.UUCP
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: "Baldy" has hair, (and "Sorry, Mark Shneyder")
Date: 27 Jul 92 14:43:12 GMT

Despite what you might think from Howard's show, John DiBella
still has _some_ hair.

I had the misfortune of finding this out when I saw the front
cover of the 7/22/92 Radio World. There for all to see is a picture of "Baldy"
in the WMMR control room, with others in the background looking
embarrassed to be in the picture.  The middle-aged-looking man
does have hair on the side of his head...but the top looks like
the moon. The caption on the color photo says "Inside WMMR: Morning 
host John DaBella holds court in the control room of "Philadelphia's
Home of Rock 'n' Roll.  For more on the station, see p. 18."
The  article just discusses the studio they rebuilt.

In another note, I'm sorry if I offended you, Mark Shneyder 
(who sez there has to be a "c" in "schneider"), by saying what
I did.  Actually I had a Monty Python routine in mind as I typed
it (on the order of "any one can come on radio and *say* they've
got three cheeks, but our viewers need proof!" - John Cleese)
but of course, you wouldn't know that!

Today on the radio Howard said that only Richard Johnson (who wrote
the article I posted) got the story right!

Can I send you a tape of Howard on the radio as a peace offering? (Not that I
owe you anything, for all the wonderful names you called me in front of
everyone, like "puke", but I suppose I qualify as the initial offender so
I'll make the initial offer)


Peace,

PR
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
From: lewine@mirage.rtp.dg.com (Eric Lewine)
Subject: Re: Favorite Shows
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 92 14:14:39 GMT
Organization: Data General Corporation, Research Triangle Park, NC

In article <1992Jul21.164849.24041@netnews.noc.drexel.edu>, barisajj@duvm.ocs.drexel.edu (Joe Barisa) writes:
|> I am just curious what other peoples favorite bits, shows, songs, guests
|> etc on the radio show.
|> 
|> Some of my favorites are:
|> 
|> At the end of April 1991 during a Forchenough (spell?) Diamond comercial
|> Howard
|> started harassing Fred about giving his mother a CookiePuss (ice cream
|> cake from
|> Carvel) for mothers day. When Fred started to become defensive Howard
|> used his
|> Harmonizer to make his voice sound just like the commericial for the cake.
|> 
|> If you have never seen the CookiePuss commericials on TV it probably
|> would not be 
|> as funny.

That was great!

I think some of Richard Simmons' appearances have been some of the funniest
moments.  "Richard, Do those Deal-a-meal cards have little pictures of cub
scouts on the back?"

Maybe my favorite Simmons gag was when Richard was in and he wanted to talk
to people on the phone and give away tapes.  Every call, Howard would interupt
and talk in Richard's loud, obnoxious voice and make fun of people.  Anyway,
he finally told Richard he could do one himself and Fred called in (as Bruce)
and talked like Richard over the phone.

I also can't get enough of one time I have on tape where Fred and Howard made
fun of John's stutter for at least 10 minutes straight. 

|> 
|> Other bits
|> 
|> Lost in Space
|> Lincoln History note
|> Gilligan's Island
|> Butman
|> Butt Cheeks Fever

|> All in the Pat Cooper Family

Who told ya that?

-- 
Eric Lewine
lewine@dg-rtp.dg.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
From: firebug@techbook.com (Sam Guidice)
Subject: Re: Favorite Shows
Organization: TECHbooks --- Public Access UNIX --- (503) 644-8135
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 13:57:45 GMT

In article <1992Jul21.164849.24041@netnews.noc.drexel.edu> barisajj@duvm.ocs.drexel.edu (Joe Barisa) writes:
>I am just curious what other peoples favorite bits, shows, songs, guests
>etc on the radio show.

Hill El Street Jews..
Mr. Nixon's Neighborhood

ANY of the WNBC bits IMHO were much better than the later stuff.
 
 Any1 remember the bits he would do about Phrank?

Sam
From: dcrosgr@uoft02.utoledo.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: Re: Sounds problem solved
Date: 27 Jul 92 14:59:18 EST
Organization: University of Toledo, Computer Services

In article <Jul.27.08.43.59.1992.513@dartagnan.rutgers.edu>, watrous@dartagnan.rutgers.edu (Don Watrous) writes:

> 
>>Don has agreed to become a file server for binaries.
> 
> Don't bother.  I already have them.  Part of your "argument" was that
> this was going to be one posting, not a regular thing.  If you're
> going to have frequent binary postings you're misrepresenting
> yourself.  If you're going to make a regular thing of posting
> binaries, you'll definitely lose the Stern group for some of us.  You
> don't believe that, do you?

Not at all. I had two that were requested--"Shut up. Sit Down!" and 
"Bobaboey". However, I have several more that people might want. Most
of them off of his Crucified by the FCC compact disc.

> 
> If you're really concerned about getting people email access to Stern
> sounds, try getting them onto an archive with an email interface.  Is
> that too much for you to handle?

Nope. I hope you'll have no probelm setting it up.
(Since you now seem no longer willing to mail them to anyone who wants them)

DC
From: dcrosgr@uoft02.utoledo.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: Re: Sounds
Date: 26 Jul 92 22:18:02 EST
Organization: University of Toledo, Computer Services

In article <1992Jul26.190044.21221@scifi.uucp>, njs@scifi.uucp (Nicholas J. Simicich) writes:
> In article <1992Jul25.170515.8936@uoft02.utoledo.edu> dcrosgr@uoft02.utoledo.edu writes:
> 
>>Sorry. Mr. I-own-the-board-and-I-will-delete-sounds has said he will
>>do just that.
> 
> Look, dickhead, I have said what I will do, and why I will do it.  The
> fact that you are too stupid to read and respond to the reasoned
> arguments that I and others have put forth here leads me to believe
> that you are simply the sort of person who decides what they want and
> steamrolls over everyone in their way.  Name calling and so forth
> seems to be the peak of your ability to argue.  Complete sentences
> formed into rational arguments are clearly beyond you.  Understanding
> of same seems to be well beyond you.

Some people do not get the binary groups. Some people do not have ftp access.
Other newsgroups let a binary or two slide by, as most net managers object to
the huge traffic of the groups devoted to binaries. (Remember, that was
'devoted to' used there.) However, when the binary relates to a specific
newsgroup, what is the diff between an 800 line binary and 8 100 line posts?

BESIDES the fact you don't want the binaries posted?

My response to all of your arguments is real simple. Some people want them
posted, some do not. If the person who moderated this board wanted them on,
they would be on. As the person who moderates and deletes what he does not
approve of does not want them on, they will not be posted.

You also want us to be happy that a censor runs this board???

If binaries were posted here, would the Net-Gods scream in anger? Would systems
crash all over the world? Would Usenet writhe into an unmanageable blob
of interconnection?

No, you would get pissed because you would have to d/load it into your machine.
And, you would then delete it.

Y'know it is interesting that a newsgroup devoted to Howard Stern has such a
stickler at the controls.


> 
> Terminology.  It is a newsgroup, not a 'board'.  Your misuse of
> terminology makes it clear that you don't understand usenet.  Go read

Oh gee, I typed 'board' instead of 'group'. Yeah, real clear I don't know the
difference. (Reminds me of a story about a cop on a motorcycle chasing an
automobile. Cop says, "Pull that truck over!" Auto keeps going. Cop shouts, 
"Pull that truck over or I'll blow out the tires!" Driver keeps going.
Cop shoots out the tires, vehicle crashes. As the cop is putting handcuffs on
the driver, he asks, "Why the Hell didn't you pull over when I told you to?"
Man replies, "You said to pull over a truck. That was an El-Camino I was
driving, not a truck!")

DC
From: "ryan nyberg" <ryan.nyberg@execnet.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: stern axed
Date: 24 Jul 92 23:06:41 EST
Reply-To: "ryan nyberg" <ryan.nyberg@execnet.com>
Distribution: alt
Organization: Executive Networks Information

RH>and it starts to add up to a potentially unprofitable [for the stations]
RH>televison show.  british knights pulled out from sponsoring the show.
RH>i don't know why that happened but my observation is that stern's
RH>plugs [on both radio and tv] are horrible - it's as though he lets
RH>his ego get in the way and starts ad libbing so much that you start
RH>to think that *he's* the subject of the commercials.  in chicago a
RH>lot of the commercials were for 1-900 telephone numbers [with the
RH>way things are going for those operators as far as telephone access
RH>is concerned, this is probably not the most reliable source of
RH>advertising revenue these days].

Stern's style of plugging his sponsor's products may seem unorthodox,
especially if your more accustomed to pedestrian entertainment such as
"This Weak (sic) in Joe's Basement". However, his radio show has by way
of this method of advertising, made a fortune for some products that
were not well known (see Snapple beverages).
As goes chicago, so goes the world. NOT!
---
  DeLuxe/386 1.25 #9362  Your mother bakes urinal cakes
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Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
From: staggers@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Ken Staggers)
Subject: Howard In Chicago
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 22:26:10 GMT

I asked Doug Blair, who is a DJ here in Chicago at Q101 radio, about any and
all rumors concerning Howard coming to Chicago.  Here is what he speculated
on:

>And since you are in the business Doug, do you know, or can you even guess
>which Chicago radio stations have been talking to Howard Stern about
>simulcasting his morning radio show here in Chicago?  Just very curious.

OK - pure speculation here.  There was some discussion about carrying Howard
on the Loop AM and splitting Jonathan Brandmeier's simulcast. The Loop
has made a $32 million dollar offer to purchase WWBZ pending approval of
FCC rules which would allow them to own more FM stations in the same
market. I assume that if they did that they might try to put Howard there.
WWBZ's debt service is high and I don't think they can afford the price
of the Howard Stern show in market number three, which is reportedly about
$600,000 / year.  That price tag also keeps the show off some perhaps more
willing licenses in the burbs, which would just LOVE to strike a deal
to carry Howard Stern like they carry Larry King or Rush Limbaugh.

Actually, it is in the LOOP's, WLS's, and the LOOP AM's best interest to
keep Howard Stern _out_ of Chicago.  His programming, while more tasteless 
and thanyour traditional midwest market fare, would attract audience who
now listens to Johnny B and Steve & Gary and so forth.  As the leading
carrier of Personalities With An Attitude, the show makes the most sense
on WLUP AM, but Evergreen Communications might be foolish to air something
that would cut into the success of their own morning show.  At the moment,
therefore, absent a radical change at say WCKG (unlikely) or XRT (impossible)
I think we're going to have to stick with channel 66 for our Howard fix
for a while.

--Ken
From: molmos@atlas.nafb.trw.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: READ/NEXTRe: Question for LA fans about Tonight Show)
Date: 23 Jul 92 10:10:30 PST

  refering to the Tonight Show taping:
> It would be VERY cool to go to the taping and get
> thrown out for screeming BOB-ABOUIE and being unruly in general!
> -joe       "You cockerspanial... you motherfather you! God darn it!"
>                           -old man red doing Tropicana comercial

  Did anybody see the Dennis Miller show last night?
  While he was interviewing Judy Tenuta, someone in the audience
  starting screaming something. Dennis was curious, so he told
  the guy to repeat what he was saying.  It sounded like he 
  said "HOWARD STERN FOR PRESIDENT"! The camera than showed the guy
  and he looked _extremely_ strange (he had a large shoe strapped
  to the top of his head and he was speaking into a megaphone).
  Dennis proceeded to make fun of the guy and told him to
  "get a life".

  Mark O.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
From: dvw@cbnewsh.cb.att.com (diane.v.wilkerson)
Subject: Re: Favorite Bits
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 18:12:22 GMT

In article <1992Jul23.160700.9940@dg-rtp.dg.com> lewine@mirage.rtp.dg.com (Eric Lewine) writes:
>
>One of my favorite song parodies is "I Like Men's Thighs" to 
>the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" about Townsend's coming out.
>
>-- 
>Eric Lewine
>lewine@dg-rtp.dg.com


I don't remember this one, but the parody of "Behind Blue Eyes" that I like
is the Sammy Davis, Jr. tribute, "Behind One Eye":  "No one knows what it's 
like, to be Sammy, behind one eye, kookookachoo."

And also the phone call to Davis' hotel room, where he gets out of the
bathtub to answer the phone: 

Davis: "Don't you guys believe in preambling?"

And, of course, anything with "Bob and Ray" (currently in hiatus).

Beautiful.
-- 
Diane Wilkerson    | 
AT&T Bell Labs     | Honk if you hate all of the presidential candidates...
..!att!cbnewsh!dvw | 
(908) 615-2704     |
From: watrous@dartagnan.rutgers.edu (don Watrous)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: Re: Sounds
Date: 30 Jul 92 17:50:00 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

kretz@remus.rutgers.edu (Kevin Kretz) writes:

>In article <1992Jul26.190044.21221@scifi.uucp>, njs@scifi.uucp (Nicholas J. Simicich) writes:

>> Look, dickhead, I have said what I will do, and why I will do it.  

>     Well, all arguments over whether Dick^H^H^H^HNick is right or
>wrong notwithstanding, unless I'm wrong, he can only delete posts at
>his site and those upstream.  

You are wrong.  If he refuses to accept/redistribute a newsgroup, it
will only effect people downstream.  If he issues a cancel, it will
remove the article everywhere the cancel goes.

>                              Well, I haven't seen a big rush of
>interest from the Peekskill area so I wonder if it will matter if he
>does delete it.

Since I offered to mail out what Stern sounds I have, I've received a
total of 2 (two) requests.  I stand by my offer to mail out the sounds
to anyone needing them.  If I get overwhelmed by requests, I will make
arrangements for automatic email-ftp access.  I have not offered to
create and manage a sound archive, though someone has attempted to
twist my offer into such a proposal.  To elaborate on my offer, I have
the following sounds:

	stupid-moron
	shutup-sitdown
	jackie-sound
	baba-booey1
	baba-booey2
	jackie-robin-laugh
	john-laugh

I have not played them.  I will mail them as a single package to
anyone requesting them.  That is all.

>                 As someone already said, by blathering about how he
>can and will do, and how people are dickheads, and so on, he has
>wasted more space than all the binaries combined.

This is an interesting misconception.  In terms of annoyance, there
has probably (no, definitely) been more from this discussion than if
the sounds had been posted.  In terms of space, you're way off.

Over the weekend, I did some quick calculations.  We had 10 days
traffic from this newsgroup online.  (How many days does your site
keep?)  During those ten days, there were 76 articles containing 2868
lines.  The file of Stern sounds I have is 5463 lines, so (re)posting
that one time would be effectively double the last 10 days traffic
(including all this blather).

>                                           So could you post them here,
>anyway, Don?  

I stand by my offer to mail out the sounds to those needing them
(which was apparently too much for the first offerer).  If you're
interested, and it's not apparent, you can also ask me my opinion of
who the dickheads, etc. are.  But lets cut the crap out of this
newsgroup, ok?

>						Kevin

Don
-- 
{backbone}!cs.rutgers.edu!watrous        watrous@cs.rutgers.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
From: bradletm@ntmtv.UUCP (Tim Bradley)
Subject: Re: New Howard Cities Announced
Originator: bradletm@rastaban
Organization: Northern Telecom Incorporated
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 22:23:22 GMT

From article <Jul.22.13.26.23.1992.25445@remus.rutgers.edu>, by kretz@remus.rutgers.edu (Kevin Kretz):
> 
> 	Comedy Central, the comedy network, has a comedy news segment
> in its Short Attention Span Theater.  Today they announced the
> cancellation of the TV show, but also mentioned the upcoming movie 
> 
> 	*** AND *** 
> 
> 	new cities for the radio show!  Including:
> Cleveland
> Dallas
> Chicago
> San Francisco
> 
> 	and a couple more that I couldn't remember.  Anyone receiving
> this group have a local radio station on the Infinity network?  Maybe
> that doesn't matter - the LA station isn't one, I think.
> 
> Kevin
>  

When?  What stations?  This is great news...I'm a Howard Stern fan and
have never heard his radio show.  If anybody knows where and when the
show will start in the San Francisco Area please let us left-coasters
know.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
From: saf@netcom.com (Steve A. Feinstein)
Subject: Re: New Howard Cities Announced
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 05:54:50 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)

In article <Jul.22.13.26.23.1992.25445@remus.rutgers.edu> kretz@remus.rutgers.edu (Kevin Kretz) writes:
>
>	Comedy Central, the comedy network, has a comedy news segment
>in its Short Attention Span Theater.  Today they announced the
>cancellation of the TV show, but also mentioned the upcoming movie 
>
>	*** AND *** 
>
>	new cities for the radio show!  Including:
>Cleveland
>Dallas
>Chicago
>San Francisco
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Can anyone confirm this, anyone got an Idea on a time frame....
 Ooooooooooh I can't wait!

>
>	and a couple more that I couldn't remember.  Anyone receiving
>this group have a local radio station on the Infinity network?  Maybe
>that doesn't matter - the LA station isn't one, I think.
>
>Kevin
> 


-- 
  Steve A. Feinstein | saf@netcom.com | Now's your chance. I'm currently 
360 Cowper Street #9 | (415) 326-8224 | available for employment. If your
Palo Alto, CA  94301 |                | company is worthy of me, let me know!

Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
From: tmark@cognet.ucla.edu (Terence Mark)
Subject: Re: Favorite Shows
Organization: UCLA Cognitive Science Research Program
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 07:09:17 GMT


Mayberry KKK was pretty funny.
From: mikeu@dinar.sbi.COM (Michael Urbanski)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: Re: Tonight Show Appearance
Date: 31 Jul 92 15:00:33 GMT
Organization: Salomon Brothers Arbitrage Support, NY,NY

In article <h7lm#=+.garyd@netcom.com>, garyd@netcom.com (Gary Dietz) writes:
|> I am no fan of Howard. 

Then get lost.  This is alt.fat.howard-stern.  Why torture yourself?

|> While Howard may be obscene and stuff,

Howard is not obscene.  If he were, he would be off the air.  Obscenity
is not permitted on American airwaves by the FCC.

|> he certainly isn't the original shock
|> jock that does comedy bits on the radio.  I can think of Imus, Jay Thomas
|> (in NY and CA), and well, you get the idea.

Jay Thomas is a bore.  He should stick to spinning records and announc-
ing time and call letters.  He couldn't hack it in NYC, so he went to 
the #2 market.  Imus's major contribution to morning radio is duck noises
at the time checks and providing Howard with amusing stories about Imus's
drunkeness.  As a long-time listener to NY radio, I remember Imus when
he had nothing to say on the air.  He would play a bit over and over
again and play records.  Until Howard came around, Imus didn't know
what to do on the air, except slur drunkenly.
|> 
|> I have no problem with you calling Howard a god and all (even though
|> you are wrong), and even saying that he breaks new ground (or wind :-) )
|> but Howard is certainly not original.
|>
Michelangelo was not the original painter.  Edison was not the original
inventor.  Howard is merely the best.  
 
|> gary
|> 
Is this BABABOO-IE?                     

#############################################################################
# Michael L. Urbanski # (212)783-6843         # HAPPY! HAPPY! #
# Salomon Bros. Inc.  # mikeu@daffy.sbi.com   #   JOY! JOY!   #
# 7 World Trade Center# uunet!sbi!daffy!mikeu #               #
# NY, NY  10048       #                       #  Ren & Stimpy #
###############################################################
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
From: usscoop1@bnr.ca (Chuck McCusker P015)
Subject: Re: Favorite Bits
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, BNR-RTP 
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 15:06:52 GMT

In article <9207221240.AA06289@phoenix.Princeton.EDU>, bijans@PHOENIX.PRINCETON.EDU ("Bijan M. Salehizadeh") writes:
|> 
|> Since we're on the subject of favorite bits, what about these:
|> 
|> When Howard and Robin contacted Len Bias after his death (tasteless but FUNNY)
 Some other bits deleted
|> Add your own....

My favorite was a dial-a-date segment on his radio show around '85-'86
He had an all-female metal band in the studio (3 girls I believe) and
had 3 callers. One of the callers was a pilot who flew transplant
organs to hospitals for free. When going over the callers in summery,
Howard described the man as 'the guy with flys on his organ'. It killed
me.

Chuck Ross - we don't get Howard in NC - but we'd like to.
From: grr@cbmvax.commodore.com (George Robbins)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.howard-stern
Subject: Re: New HS station!!!!
Date: 29 Jul 92 06:01:47 GMT
Reply-To: grr@cbmvax.commodore.com (George Robbins)
Organization: Commodore, West Chester, PA

In article <1992Jul29.001228.27126@athena.mit.edu> bamini@athena.mit.edu (Bob Amini) writes:
> 
> 	She was all pissed off, saying that he should stay in new york
> 	and that the whole entity known as "local radio" is going to
> 	die because of him, and what's the matter mister millionaire?
> 	Not enough money yet?  and random flamage like that.
> 
> 	For four years I've been waiting for Howard to come to Boston...
> 	I'm psyched.  Though I did like Annalisa.  I'd rather
> 	Howard take over WBCN (an Infinity station) so I can listen to
> 	them both.

I wouldn't worry too much.  If she's good she'll pop up in the next best
slot in Boston or elsewhere.  In the longer run, Howard will come and
Howard will go - the syndicated stations will only keep him around as
he generates bigger ratings/more bucks at less cost than local imitations.

Things still look pretty solid in Philly and DC doesn't matter, so LA will
probably be the acid test of whether he can get and keep top ratings in
a national market...

-- 
George Robbins - now working for,     uucp:   {uunet|pyramid|rutgers}!cbmvax!grr
but no way officially representing:   domain: grr@cbmvax.commodore.com
Commodore, Engineering Department     phone:  215-431-9349 (only by moonlite)