From: sfm@manduca.neurobio.arizona.edu (Stephen Matheson)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.football.college
Subject: Re: STANFORD/ARIZONA TRASH
Date: 10 Nov 92 03:37:48 GMT
Organization: University of Arizona UNIX Users Group

From article <1dmr5bINN7dn@spica.usc.edu>,
by valdis@spica.usc.edu (Valdis Kalejs):

>>> Seriously -- why is it that the USC Band plays the same music over and
>>> over again?  It's not just Conquest and Fight On (although those are
>>> pretty bad) -- I heard them playing the same song they played for
>>> either pregame or halftime during the third or fourth quarter.
>>
>>Has anyone ever met anyone in the USC band?  [pause]  I thought not!
>>My theory: the "band members" aren't people at all, but rather the
>>band is composed of motorized mannequins wielding prerecorded 
>>instrumentation triggered by any of a number of carefully programmed
>>stimuli: changes in barometric pressure, wind speed, crowd noise,
>>deficit in score, etc. with a minimum delay between outbursts such
>>that the strains must come forth every, say, 3 minutes.  My theory
>>is based on my understanding of musicians and their aversion to
>>uncreative monotony.  Actually, any person with reasonable intelligence
>>and a little self-respect has this same aversion.
>>
>>Why the robots?  Why short delay on the trigger?  Well, perhaps
>>the AD and Larry Smith felt that the constant droning would
>>make the team feel the same on the road as they do at home
>>(namely, irritated and thinking to themselves, "can't those clods
>>shut up for more than 3 minutes!?"), thereby negating the opponent's
>>home-field advantage.
>>
>>> Most college bands I know of try to vary our song selection a bit,
>>> except for the fight song(s), which are generally only played in
>>> their entirety after scores.  You will rarely, for instance, hear
>>> the Stanford Band play the same song twice from the pregame rallies
>>> to the postgame tailgaters, again except for our fight songs.
>>
>>Or maybe the USC band is made up of classless dopes who love to
>>hear themselves play, but don't know how to play more than 3 tunes.

[deleted ranting]

> Now as far as Stevie's comments, when the little kittys come to
> town we'll see who the "classless dopes" are. Most likely they'll
> sitting in the Arizona section, with Curtis Conway's footprints up
> one side and down the other. Besides if look above you'll see he's
> from something called "The Program in Neuroscience" or better known
> a "The Program of the Braindead"
> 
> Fight On, Crush The Cats!!
> 
> Valdis Kalejs

Okay, Valdie (can I call you Valdie?).  Take a deep breath.  Relax.
There.  Everything's going to be OK.  Now, I'm sorry about all
that mean stuff I said about your awesome band.  Personally, I
thought the robot thing was pretty funny.  But the classless dopes
deal...now that *was* a little harsh.  My sister is an Arizona
State fan, and she hates USC because of the band.  She told me
how the ASU band went to play for the USC band one night and got
halfway through before the Trojan band struck up (what else?)
Conquest.  But hey, that doesn't make them classless, does it?
Well, anyway, they might not be dopes.

I'm not going to answer your woofing (goofing?) because I'm
terrified of the woofing gods, and besides, it sounds, well,
braindead.  If you ever come to town to watch the Trojies
lose (check the history books, especially the last 2 years),
look me up.  I'll show you some of the interesting things I've
learned in the Program in Neuroscience  :-).

Love,   Stevie
--

Steve Matheson   Program in Neuroscience   University of Arizona
sfm@neurobio.arizona.edu