From: rsr@soda.berkeley.edu (Roy S. Rapoport)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Clueless hetboys and bi's
Date: 25 Jan 1993 10:48:20 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley, CS Undergraduate Association
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu

In article <1993Jan22.000051.10916@midway.uchicago.edu> elle@midway.uchicago.edu writes:

->I might add that the worst soc.bi generally has to deal with are the
->clueless straight boyz who Just Want to Watch.

Umm, this is just probably due to _my_ experiences, but this sort of made me
cringe ...

I read this as sort of a putdown of straight, voyeuristic men.

Pardon me for not having the Right Opinions, but what's wrong with just
wanting to watch?   

Certainly, I know enough women who drool at the sight of two men making it,
and I find it somehow sexist to single out the men, possibly because they're
the only people would would admit it publicly.

It's more than that, I suppose ... I was involved in a foursome last night
(two men, two women.  I was one of the men), in (one of my ) straight best
friend's hotel room, on his bed.  He was invited to join in, declined, and
spent the rest of the night (well, some of it.  He went to sleep about 90
minutes before we were finished) watching us (actually, he declined by
saying he had the best view from where he was).

I dunno ... It's just that when I read your comment, I automatically applied
it to him, and was offended, y'know?

It's like these days, I may get offended at the people who so easily, so
naturally put down men who think of going to bed with two women (though it
seems like you'd have to be awefully clueless to want to go to bed with two
lesbians (though I want to go to bed with a few straight men I know)) ...
there's this assumption that brands them automatically as hetboys who want
the two women to serve them, etc etc etc ...

Political Correctness is a fun thing :).

Look, I'll admit it.

I was in bed with two women.  It was nice.  It was wonderful seeing my love
happy (well, she was more than happy, but you get the point).

Yes, I had a _lot_ more fun because of Him, and what we did together, but
there were two women in the bed.  I'm sorry.  I found the situation
extremely erotic, and I found both of them extremely beautiful, I found each
of their interaction with my love beautiful.  

Now, granted, I'm bi.  This let me enjoy his beauty, his body, his ... well,
pardon me, I'm going into ecstatic-mode again.  It was incredible.

It also let me be a lot more comfortable with having another man in the bed
with me (actually, this isn't strictly true.  I couldn't have dealt with
being in bed with two women alone.  I would have taken the chair.  But you
get the point).  A heterosexual man isn't as lucky, and therefore might only
feel comfortable with a woman / two+ women in bed.  

We keep assuming this fantasy that some hetmen have about being in bed with
two women is chauvinistic, sexist, wrong.  I don't think it can
automatically be branded as such, while still 'allowing' some women to have
their fantasy about two men with them.

I dunno ... it's just this vague discomfort I have with branding thoughts,
fantasies, as, in essence, politically incorrect.  I think it's wrong.

-roy
-- 
Roy S. Rapoport     internet: rsr@soda.berkeley.edu      bitnet: rsrsoda@ucbocf
anonymous mail: wi.5836@n7kbt.rain.com        androphile, gynophile, kerryphile
"What I used to think is me / is just a faded memory." -NIN
"No mayonnaise in Ireland"