From: johnl@gss.com (John Light)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Relkie
Date: 20 Aug 92 01:19:05 GMT
Organization: Graphic Software Systems, Beaverton, OR

In article <9v0mp9f.enigma@netcom.com> enigma@netcom.com (Enigma) writes:
>A number of people have pointed out that Relkie is being manipulative.
>But what I don't think people are recognizing is that Relkie is only
>16 and has just been through an experience that would tend to make her
>act even younger.  "Manipulative" is an awfully adult word to apply to
>someone who is really just a little kid.  I know before this all happened
>she sounded pretty mature for her age.  But think about the circumstances:
>She thought someone she liked and trusted was going to rescue her.  But
>first she wound up having sex, which is something that hasn't happened
>to her since she was abused as a child.  Then she wound up homeless and
>broke, unable to find a job, unable even to get a government agency to
>help her.  Sleeping in a homeless shelter by night, wandering around
>hopeless and desparate during the day trying to find a way out of the
>mess she found herself in.  Finally going back to the mother that she
>had just accused of being abusive and asking to be taken back (as far
>as I know, her mother has received absolutly no support in dealing
>with this situation - put yourselves in *her* shoes for a minute!).
>
>And you wonder why Relkie might not be acting like a calm, rational,
>emotionally healthy adult?  Come on!  She can't even start therapy
>until the end of September, because of a lot of bureaucratic red
>tape.  I can certainly understand someone not having the strength to
>deal with her issues - I felt drained and exhausted by it at times
>myself.  It was incredibly frustrating not to be able to help her,
>for one thing.  But please don't flame her for being manipulative -
>children are by their very nature manipulative.  They have to be, 
>they're utterly powerless.  And Relkie has discovered just how
>powerless she really is right now.  Please, people, just cut her
>some slack.
>-- 
>Holly McGrath   <enigma@netcom.com> 
>1803 Mission Street, #339          
>Santa Cruz, CA 95060              
>(408) 479-4072  (voice mail)     

I second this appeal.  I tried to say the same thing in an earlier post
(in my incompetent male way).  Holly has found a excellent words to
describe Darella's predicament.

Let me add that I think many of you were taken in by an image that Darella
presents of maturity and wisdom beyond her years.  She is *very* bright,
but she really is just a kid.  In her earlier posts she described situations
where this image got her either into trouble or out of help.  I suspect this
image hurt her a lot in dealing with recent troubles with Canadian
authorities.  (For instance, I suspect some of the authorities are convinced
that she is "experienced", and lying about her background.)

This false image is a result of her earlier abuse.  It helped her deal with
the world until she hit the teen years.  Now it is dragging her down.
The rest of the world may use that image against her.  We shouldn't.

This is not to say that everything she says about Bill Wells or what
happened is true.  We are evidently going to be told two elephant descriptions
by two blind people.  Ignore the stories or not, but don't do what often
happens to abuse victims: "You didn't tell your story right, so you must be
wrong."

John Light
johnl@gss.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery