From: rfd@po.CWRU.Edu (Richard F. Drushel)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: "The Ballad of John Henry, the Thinkin' Man"
Date: 9 Sep 1992 21:01:12 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: rfd@po.CWRU.Edu (Richard F. Drushel)
NNTP-Posting-Host: thor.ins.cwru.edu


	Here is something you folks should enjoy.  If any of you are
really desperate for the actual record info, I could dig around in my
attic and find the record.  The transcript is good, but the recording
is naturally better :)

**********

"The Ballad of John Henry, The Thinkin' Man"
 
      performed to the traditional tune
             by The Brothers Four
  at the U.S. Naval Academy, Annapolis, MD
         Columbia Records circa 1960
 
[Note:  sung lines are indented; the rest is spoken by a Narrator]
 
        When John Henry was a little baby,
        He was settin' on his mammy's knee,
        When he picked up a slide rule and a book on mathematics,
        Sayin' "Thinkin's gonna be the job for me."
        Sayin' "Thinkin's gonna be the job for me."
 
   When John Henry was just a little baby, he decided that, when
he grew up, he was gonna be a Thinkin' Man.  So he decided to go to
college and learn all about Thinkin'.  Well, he did, and he learned
all about:
 
   Algebra and Thinkin'
   Geometry and Thinkin'
   Trigonometry and Thinkin'
   Calculus and Thinkin'
 
   (But he always had a little trouble with English, though)
 
        Grammar's gonna be the death of me, Lawd, Lawd,
        Grammar's gonna be the death of me.
 
   (He didn't do too well in Greek, either)
 
        Homer's gonna be the death of me, Lawd, Lawd,
        Homer's gonna be the death of me.
 
   Well, John Henry finished college, and became a very competent
Thinker (which is unusual).  So he went out into the business world,
where they do a lot of heavy Thinkin', and got himself a job as a
Thinkin' Man.
 
   His first job was with the John Birch Society.....Thinkin' up Communists.
 
   He had a little trouble with his next job, though.  That was with the
Ford Motor Company.  Ha ha!  He Thought up the Edsel!
 
   Then John Henry got a job with the CIA.....Thinkin' up excuses.
 
   Now as you all know, the government is very economy-minded, always
tryin' to cut down on costs.  So one day the CIA brought in an efficiency
expert, tryin' to cut down on manpower.  Well, he looked around and
hollered out:
 
        Automation!  Automation!  Automation!
 
        Now the expert said to John Henry,
        "I'm gonna bring me a Computer out.
        "I'm gonna bring me a Computer, an Electronic Brain,
        "Cybernetics gonna put the answer down.
        "Computers help to keep the payroll down."
 
        Now the man who invented the Computer
        Was from a place called M.I.T.
        Well, he punched out cards and tapes by the yards,
        Hummin' "Nearer My God To Thee."
        Hummin' "Nearer My God To Thee-ee-ee-ee."  [typical hymn ending]
 
        Now John Henry said to the inventor,
        "All your tubes don't mean a damn.
        "All your wires and your circuits, they are just a modern quirk.
        "It's never ever gonna beat a Thinkin' Man.
        "They are never gonna beat a Thinkin' Man."
 
   So it was proposed that John Henry and the Computer have a race.
 
   The inventor punched out a card for the Computer.
 
   John Henry stepped into the isolation booth.
 
   Ralph Edwards read him a question.....the race was on!
 
        John Henry started in a-Thinkin'
        'Til his head glowed cherry red.
        There was smoke from his ears, and his eyes poured tears,
        And he Thunk 'til his brain dropped dead!
        Think!  Thank!  Thunk!
        Thunk 'til his brain dropped dead.    [very somber]
 
        They took John Henry to the bughouse,
        But still his legend grows.
        Now, please don't get us wrong; there's a moral to this song --
        "Don't ever doubt the Thinkin' power of men."
 
But, on the other hand.....
 
        "Don't ever sell your stock
        "In I--B--M!"
-- 
Rich Drushel ** rfd@po.CWRU.edu *** Biology Ph.D. Student ** Cleveland FreeNet
Co-Sysop, Coleco ADAM Forum --- Assistant Sysop, Science Fiction & Fantasy SIG
"Solda pung apfashat ro des-marno, / Marn ladir o armag noth yeni arno. / Hell
miryat it, / Jambo iat it, / Os lasse wei ticip kati baldo." / Old Ennish poem