HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Wed, 22 Jul 1992 16:52:45 EDT
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      POEM

"Lads, I remember the Olden Days,"
Old Wilbur says, and picks his nose with
the long-barreled .45 welded to his bionic arm.
"Why, we was Captains of Industry in those days,
Lords of the Dead, Defenders of the Faith, and
Bone-Totin' Savage Chiefains.
We was civilization builders."
Toad comes in, with his old dirty sack fulla dead cats,
and Wilbur hefts him onto a stool by the scruff of his neck.
"Killing Indians and wolves is hot work." He says,
"Get me another'n, and one for my piss-stained buddy, here"
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Posted-Date: Wed, 29 Jul 92 22:03:43 EDT
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 22:03:43 EDT
From:         MM <mbm@PACSCL.UARC.UPENN.EDU>
Subject:      Words

o: Multiple recipients of list WORDS-L <WORDS-L@uga.cc.uga.edu>
Status: RO

On Wed, 29 Jul 1992, Anne Haycock wrote:
>    Hmmm, does that make September 14 the date I should circle in my pocket
>    calendar?
>
> No, September 16 and it's 29, not 44.
>
> ;-)
>
//anne//, you and my mom share the same birthday...she'll be 80 this year!
ndh
mbm
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Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 23 Jul 1992 16:46:54 EDT
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      re: it jiggles!
              23 Jul 1992 15:58:24 -0400 from <jprovo@GNU.AI.MIT.EDU>

On Thu, 23 Jul 1992 15:58:24 -0400 The Wandering Pedestal of Angst said:
>sorry dana, even if I din't hate you I'd tell you this.
>
>the ideal order project has been around longer than you.
>and yes, he is cooler.
>
>nyah.

What are the ideal order project?  Is this that guy what fucks up Dan
Rather's brain through the idiot box? Hey, Provo; ask him about the
Braves, wouldja?  Huh?
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Via: uk.ac.rhbnc.vax; Wed, 29 Jul 1992 15:51:17 +0100
Actually-to: <FNORD-L%EDU.BUFFALO.CC.UBVM@UK.AC.NSFNET-RELAY>
Originally-to: CBS%UK.AC.NSFNET-RELAY::EDU.BUFFALO.CC.UBVM::FNORD-L
Originally-from: UHAA023
Mailer: Janet_Mailshr V3.5 ( 13-OCT-1989 14:07:27 )
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 15:52:42 BST
From:         UHAA023@VAX.RHBNC.AC.UK
Subject:      Re: Shave your kidneys, mister?
X-To:         FNORD-L <FNORD-L@UBVM.CC.BUFFALO.EDU>

That's a blow: admittedly we get as lot of conflicting images from
'over the pond', but the consensus over here is that Pee Wee Herman
is the archetypal American.

Several of our more liberal churches have even switched to 'Hermanism'
to glorify his name.

I mean.... YOU SAW THAT BICYCLE!
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Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
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Date:         Wed, 22 Jul 1992 16:22:54 EDT
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      Re: what is fnord
              22 Jul 1992 17:57:00 GMT from <elee9tv@JANE.UH.EDU>

On Wed, 22 Jul 1992 17:57:00 GMT BOING said:
>	This is my first time reading this news group. What is FNORD?
>  At my old high school it is written on the bathroom wall and on lockers.
Go back to your old school and look again; we have had the fnords
removed, and they are never coming back.

>   I can see the connection between Kraftwerk and Tim leary.
Then your vision is far superior to mine.

>     purpose of these poems and stuff?
>
Why, to glorify his Dark Majesty, and his emissary on Earth, Felonious
Cubensis, esq., of course.  Hey, look
>			Dan
>    what is fnord                                                           9
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Date:         Fri, 31 Jul 1992 01:04:37 EDT
From:         Sean Pogue <spogue@OUCSACE.CS.OHIOU.EDU>
Subject: Re: Remove me
X-To:         FNORD-L@ubvm.cc.buffalo.edu

<*>From: E7M7GRI%TOWSONVX.BITNET@ubvm.cc.buffalo.edu
<*>
<*>I gave a signoff command to this list and it was confirmed.
<*>But I am still receiving mail.
<*>I enjoyed this list, but I need to cut back on my mail.  Please help!
<*>Harold
<*>

Hey everybody, E7M7GRI says he wants to leave our little party, says he tried
to go home but he couldn't find the door.  That's a cryin' shame ain't it?
Well son, I hate to break it to you but this ain't any old party, its a
BIRTHDAY party.  Its my birthday see,
and you haven't had your cake yet.  So sit yourself back down while
one of the boys gets you a nice piece of cake with a big ol' scoop of
ice cream on top. Hey, someone get our friend here some cake . . .

Yer Fiend,
Salvador Dali Llama
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Subject: (no subject given)
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 16:33:57 EDT
From:         so as not to be confused m <CHEATING@SBCCVM.BITNET>

Hello, LIBALP;

I'm terribly sorry, really I am, to interrupt your pushcart of thought,
but could you tell me who it is that is sending those disturbing
messages from Emory's library circulation terminal, or, to put it in
more conventional language, from wherever?  I'm a little unnerved that
the CHEATING bunker, empty as it currently is, is being surrounded;
what perhaps makes this a frightening postulate is that I detect the
cycle outlined by Hegemon-LIBWCA beginning to start which means two
things: the arrival of the Irish Goddess of Rotund Lawn Ornaments and
Countrified Galops followed closely by the slaking thirst of "shaddup"
from certain individuals from Buffalo who, despite of some coordination,
have underdeveloped abilities in the sphere of Pick-Up Round Table
Handball.

Juniper Sage
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Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 23 Jul 1992 11:57:47 EDT
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      Re: IdEAL ORDER Psychic TV and "Now It Can Be Told"
              23 Jul 1992 10:35:46 EDT from <idealord@DORSAI.COM>

On Thu, 23 Jul 1992 10:35:46 EDT Jeff Harrington said:
>Last night, July 22, on "Now It Can Be Told" (the Geraldo Rivera
>"investigative news" program) there was a segment on psychic warfare
>and Saddam Hussein.  They mentioned an Iraqi news story which said
>that the pentagon had used psychics to make Hussein ill during the
>Gulf War.
>
>What they neglected to mention ;) is that it was not the pentagon's
>psychics which zapped Saddam - it was me...  Every chance I got, whether
>it was tape-delayed or not, (tick tock tick) I illuminated the camera
>he was looking into.  During the staged scenes with the hostages I
>was zapping him; during the Dan Rather interview, the poor guy couldn't
>stop blinking.
>
>The sickness which I cause is from mental interference patterns created
>by the wavefront of my meme reacting to the ebb and flow of the person
>who encounters my effect (whether direct contact via the TV camera or
>second hand) and her or his reality constructs and emotions.
>
>I zapped Geraldo Rivera during the show and have done so many times.
>Someday "Now It Can Be Told" will be the subject of an investigative
>new program ;)...
>
>Tonight being Thursday, I'll see you on Dan Rather's eyeballs.
>
>Jeff Harrington

Do you have cable?  Would it be possible for you to tune into WTBS this
weekend, when the Braves are playing the Pirates, and zap, say, Barry
Bonds?  I'm sure Bobby Cox, the Braves' manager, would greatly
appreciate this, and if you keep it up all season, zapping any Braves'
opponent who's on a hot streak, we might be able to arrange a World
Series ring for you.  Perhaps it would be best to concentrate on
opposing pitchers, but you'd be the best judge of that...
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Apparently-To: FNORD-L@UBVM.cc.buffalo.edu
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 30 Jul 1992 21:37:46 -0400
From:         MiB@BLACK.ET.ILLUMINATI.GOV

        Yet again, the apologies of ILLUMINATI.GOV are in order.  It
seems a trans-lateral temporal study has hit a snag, and a `Man Of
Black' has slipped from an alternate reality into the HereNow.
Apparently, poor security procedures at this level are the same in
both worlds and it has been using this account.

        And yes, `Boss', we _are_ letting the ET node be known.
Didn't you get the memo?

MiB
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Posted-Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 13:42:55 EDT
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 23 Jul 1992 13:42:55 EDT
From:         MM <mbm@PACSCL.UARC.UPENN.EDU>
Subject:      all must settle down

or I will take you out of the jar I keep you in and expose you to lightning.
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Date:         Thu, 30 Jul 1992 18:53:43 -0400
From:         The Wandering Pedestal of Angst <jprovo@GNU.AI.MIT.EDU>
Subject: Re: Questions
X-To:         FNORD-L@UBVM.cc.buffalo.edu

the only thing those recips are good for are
a- scaring ordinary folk
b- suicide.
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Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 12:58:20 EDT
From:         Juniper Sage <CHEATING@SBCCVM.BITNET>
Subject:      Protocols of the Elder Council of the Playhouse

Hello, LIBALP;

Dear me, I didn't think _you_ of all people would have fallen for that
contrivance of a conspiratorial diary account which was recently proven
by blood alcohol tests to have been written in the 1950s by Those Who
Would Destroy the Hermanites, who also, I understand, wrote the fabled
one-acts of Yunkasquana.

The Hermanites are a very peaceful people who have been embroiled in
property disputes emerging from their attempts to purchase all the
land formerly owned by the Shakers and convert them to Theme Parks
with Clean, Private Viewing Booths as dictated by scripture.

Juniper Sage.
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Date:         Fri, 24 Jul 1992 12:03:18 -0400
From:         Dana Nibby <D_NIBBY@UNHH.UNH.EDU>
Subject:      Orgonon
X-To:         fnord-l@ubvm.cc.buffalo.edu

T R I P  T O  O R G O N O N  (Wilhem Reich Museum)

* Arriving August 1st (saturday), departing sunday (2nd)

* located 10 miles west of Rangely, Maine on rt 4.
  5 hour drive from Boston.

* See Reich's research laboratory, orgone boxes,
  cloudbusters, etc.

* Cost is $3 for a 1 hour tour (paid to the museum)
  Make your own lodging arrangements.

* Meet other net people.

 We plan to rendezvous on saturday. Leave me e-mail
 for the time of rendezvous.

     Dana - D_NIBBY@unhh.unh.edu
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Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 16:00:07 EDT
From:         eLLIS dEE <E010%NEMOMUS.bitnet@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject:      Questions
X-To:         fnord-l%ubvm.bitnet@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU

Stick a pig in it.

Do the drug recipes in *The Anarchist Cookbook* really
work?

Is Lewellyn Publishers at all legitimate and/or
reputable?

Why do things always turn out this way for me?

eLLIS dEE
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Posted-Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 01:06:49 EDT
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 23 Jul 1992 01:06:49 EDT
From:         MM <mbm@PACSCL.UARC.UPENN.EDU>
Subject:      fnord

Flame
Naturally
Overcomes
Red
Divinity.



Fire
Never
Opens
Ricky's
Drawers.


For
Nothing
Of
Real
Dignity          fell near our river dead.





FEAR NOTHING OR RUN DELIRIOUS        from no one reasonable dervish.



             (FLY NOW, ONWARD, RISK DROPPING)












                     FUNCUM ONOG, 1994
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Posted-Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 02:53:18 EDT
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 30 Jul 1992 02:53:18 EDT
From:         MM <mbm@PACSCL.UARC.UPENN.EDU>
Subject:      expedition to Words-L

Listserv@ufa.cc.uga.edu

Words-l@uga]


Ignore that bracket thing at the end, where my finger wandered.
Don't be afraid. Please. I don't want to be the only one who has had
this experience.

Funcum Gonoff Uniball


Do you understand?
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Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 10:05:41 EDT
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      Re: Shave your kidneys, mister?
              29 Jul 1992 15:03:36 BST from <UHAA023@VAX.RHBNC.AC.UK>

On Wed, 29 Jul 1992 15:03:36 BST <UHAA023@VAX.RHBNC.AC.UK> said:
>DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE SPECIAL _MOUTHS_ OR SOMETHING?

No, no; we just like 'em like that.  An American enjoys the taste of
his own blood streaming from the roof of his mouth, because we are
hearty, robust, outdoorsy-type yeoman farmers, as opposed to the
decadent, pallid, depleted gene pools of Europe.  Look at our president-
out a'huntin' and a'fishin', living the life of the pioneer, rowin'
around shootin' ducks, while your inbred royalty stay at home, sip
tea, and push their spouses down the stairs.  This is why we have Big
Guns, many types of laundry soap, and large-breasted women, while your
fundamental reputation rests on a long-dismembered empire and a dead
playwright whose work, it turns out, was actually written by an American
Indian chief named Yunkasquana.
I'm sorry to hear that you have 7-11s over there.  Stay on your guard,
or you will have that damn mouse and all his three-fingered friends
running around your country, as the poor frogs do.
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Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 19:00:16 EDT
From:         "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Subject:      This kills Weetabix

   Some months ago I realized that "serial killings" were, in typical
all-armenian fashion, the outcomes of a ghastly spelling error. Cereal
killing, that is, of the breakfast kind, is however an unexceptional or
perhaps even laudable act. One of those I have determined must die the death,
right after Sugar Frosted Pops on my hit list, is a clone of Nabisco Shredded
Wheat sold in Ontario as Weetabix, allegedly with over fifty percent Canadian
content. My host informed me, Oxfordly, that said product is sold in Britain,
England, and the United Kingdom too. Ontario presents no problem, a mere
dagger pointing at the heart of Detroit, long dead from head blown off by
Japan, from behind. And unnecessary to swim. Urgently need accurate info as
to global diffusion of the target cereal to ascertain extermination feasibility
of same, thank you.

DAF, who is dead but has not forgotten
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Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 16:43:18 -0400
From:         Genetic Jones <jprovo@GNU.AI.MIT.EDU>
Subject:      re: kidney bingos shave themselves
X-To:         fnord-l@ubvm.cc.buffalo.edu

From: UHAA023@VAX.RHBNC.AC.UK
>This brings me onto my question:
>
>DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE SPECIAL _MOUTHS_ OR SOMETHING?

Why yes, I do. I have several. I grow a new talking
mouth for each language I wish to speak. I have a
mouth orifice for sexual activities.  I have a mouth
for solid food, a mouth-slit for liquid food and a
breathing mouth for gaseous intake.  There is the
mouth that processes heavy metals, and the one that
exists purely for the sacred consumption of 'frop.

Hope that helps, pink limey.

Rev. Dkr. Nick LaRG0, ASC
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Date:         Sun, 26 Jul 1992 02:49:25 EDT
From:         Sean Pogue <spogue@OUCSACE.CS.OHIOU.EDU>
Subject: Re: micrometapseudomystics
X-To:         FNORD-L@ubvm.cc.buffalo.edu

> >Tell me the purpose of this list.....NOW!
>Does this list have the Bhudda Nature?

No, no, no! How many times do I have to tell you? The correct question is
'Does a *cow* have the Buddha Nature?'

Salvador Dali Llama
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Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 17:45:24 EDT
From:         Juniper Sage <CHEATING@SBCCVM.BITNET>
Subject:      MiB

Y'know, on my honor, as far as that goes on diesel, I could have sworn
that was a LIBWCA message.  Honestly, the attention to detail, the
grandiose use of the grotesque in the quality of the threat, the
swagger, the way he reels slightly and has the faint odor of hyacinths...
funny how one can make that mistake.

Also, LIBALP, I was most impressed I think with "Fairy Land" last
week.  This is, after all, the year of the space probe.
Encore! Encore! More! Your fan club anxiously awaits.

Just out of curiousity, has MBM moved on to the more literate lists
to discuss honest-to-god issues like what wogs academics are, or does
he presently lurk, still here, waiting to bite the feedbag handed him?

Honestly, I haven't had such fun since I was mistaken for Bianca Jagger
at the Film Threat Masquerade Party.

Juniper Sage
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Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Wed, 22 Jul 1992 16:26:00 EDT
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      DAMNIT!

I always send things before I'm ready.  Guess that's why the cheerleaders
quit coming over...
Anyway, what I meant to convey was a certain sense of the fortuitous
timing of your arrival here on Cube-L, in that we have now finished
with the "poems and stuff" (and they did have a purpose; oh yes.  NEVER
delude yourself about that) and were just about to begin the human
sacrifices.
Um... you *are* human, right?
Bill
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Date:         Fri, 24 Jul 1992 11:22:22 EDT
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      RE: CONFIDENTIAL
              24 Jul 1992 09:53:04 BST from <UHAA023@VAX.RHBNC.AC.UK>

On Fri, 24 Jul 1992 09:53:04 BST <UHAA023@VAX.RHBNC.AC.UK> said:
>Have you the formula for whatever it is you're on? I've got this friend
>who's a chemist....
>
>Well, he would be if he wasn't a horse.
>
>Tell me the purpose of this list.....NOW!
>
>- Boris Yeltsin.

Have you ever heard of a body of Jewish mystical writing called _The
Books of Zohar_?  Well, the purpose of this list is to conduct an
in depth exigetical study of _The Books of Zohar_.  We've gotten through
about six hundred pages, and now we're on break.  Grab a brew, relax,
mingle- start a running gun-battle if you wanna.
Off the pigs,
Bill
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Posted-Date: Sat, 25 Jul 92 19:47:02 EDT
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Sat, 25 Jul 1992 19:47:02 EDT
From:         MM <mbm@PACSCL.UARC.UPENN.EDU>
Subject:      Coninuing gentlement

to eliminate hors d'oeuvres,
kindly meant to heal
the king's horse---give me an introduction, screamed charly, to the man who
heard messages from the devil in Mr.Eds
voice.
Continuing, please, gentleman,
to the absurd crowd was presented a homunculus,
who garnered their fantastic trust and honor,
all in the name of hands in the nasty whorls
of plastic tapeshit glad our fans and fellows.
Shut up and sit down, said the president,
his dry and shrivelled humors exasperating
the ground of being.

Funcum Begone
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Date:         Fri, 31 Jul 1992 15:14:35 CDT
From:         Kenn Thomas <SKTHOMA@UMSLVMA.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: Orgonon

That orgone box used to be here in St. Louis at the Museum of Medical Quackery
until it closed down.  Medical Quakery to Questionable Medical Practices...at l
east it seems to be moving up the respectability ladder.  Sad that the PSICOPS
have it and used it to spread Gardner's garbage about Reich.

Did my Steamshovel Press message get posted to FNORD?  Next issue has great stu
ff on Reich's prison file plus articles on Inslaw, the Reagan/Pope alliance, JF
K's acid queen, Mary Pinchot Meyer.  Should be out in two weeks.   --KT
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Date:         Thu, 23 Jul 1992 14:10:18 EDT
From:         hag@CELIO.UVM.EDU
Subject:      Baseball?

Ommigawd, theah doin it heauh too.

What's that, Dahling?

Theah tawking about baseball, ya know, guys and that sports thing. Over
2,000 lists on this network and at some point or otha on any list the guys
staht tawkin about sports. I mean, I know that it's the guys that usually
end up doin all the tawkin on these lists but do they always hafta end up
tawkin about sports. Geez.

Now Dahling, you know they cahn't help themselves, the poor dears. It's in
their genes. Despite the fact that they complain about women talking too
much we all know that they are the ones who really have to talk all the
time. You know the old phrase about complaining about the mote in another's
eye without being aware of the beam in one's own. Besides men have to talk
about sports, that's in their genes, too.

Yeah well I wish dey would keep it in their jeans instead a flashin it
around all deh toime *snicker, snicker*.

Now, now dear, just let it pass. I'm sure they'll go back to their regular
brangling soon enough and then we can have a nice little laugh at their
amazing foibles.

Sylvia Gottlieb and Harriet St. John
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Date:         Thu, 23 Jul 1992 14:49:33 EDT
From:         hag@CELIO.UVM.EDU
Subject:      Re: Baseball?
X-To:         FNORD-L%UBVM.bitnet@uvmvm.uvm.edu

P.S. Do you really have hens that enjoy baseball? My hens seem to prefer it
as a soporific when they become broody and restless. I find the 20 minutes
of action packed into 3 hrs of play that characterizes most baseball games
to be very efficacious in that regard.- H Angus
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Posted-Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 12:27:59 EDT
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Fri, 24 Jul 1992 12:27:59 EDT
From:         MM <mbm@PACSCL.UARC.UPENN.EDU>
Subject:      run out

and get some delicious smelling essential oils to add new essence to your
potpourri.
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Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
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Date:         Thu, 23 Jul 1992 17:12:09 EDT
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      Re: Baseball?

On Thu, 23 Jul 1992 14:49:33 EDT <hag@CELIO.UVM.EDU> said:
>P.S. Do you really have hens that enjoy baseball? My hens seem to prefer it
>as a soporific when they become broody and restless. I find the 20 minutes
>of action packed into 3 hrs of play that characterizes most baseball games
>to be very efficacious in that regard.- H Angus

I refuse to dignify that vile slur on Our National Pastime; however, if
I *did* dignify it, I would probably do so with some sort of comment on
the psychological roots of your incessant need to have something
*happening* at every single moment in your life.  But I won't.  So there.
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