Newsgroups: bit.listserv.allmusic
Date:         Sat, 9 Jan 1993 11:43:36 CST
From:         Little Inquisitor <U33963@UICVM.BITNET>
Subject:      Elvis may have slept here

This is not a hoax. I'm not a crackpot. I'm not high on rope. I'm not undergoin
g an existential crisis or an out-of-the-body experience. I haven't been put un
der a voodoo spell, nor have I been kidnapped by aliens.  This is not a message
 from outer space.  I haven't flipped out or suffered a nervous breakdown.  And
 this is not plagiarized from one of the tabs at the check-out counter in the s
upermarket.

In fact, I've often wondered whether to post this or not, fearing that it might
 tarnish my (hopefully) sterling reputation.  I'm merely going to relay the fac
ts as they were told to my wife and myself when we moved into this house on Jan
uary 1, 1983.  When we moved into 1915 W. Henderson St. the occupants of the ho
use next door (Butch, Frank and Conrad) told us we were fortunate to live here
because Elvis had often visited this house back in the 60s to see a distant cou
sin.  They also informed us that for years after the cousin had left this abode
, people would come by the house, stop their cars and stare at the house.  They
 were very explicit with details about Elvis's visits: limousines parked in fro
nt, incessant onlookers and what-not.  All this sounded mildly amusing but ther
e was no clear way of verifying it.  For one thing, the records at city hall wo
uld only list the owners (not the renters), the original owners at the time
have long moved on (presumably to the Promised Land), and informers' recollec-
tions are notoriously skimpy.  Moreover, one has to contend with the character
and personality of the three "original" purveyors of the story: Frank was a mos
tly unemployed trucker-biker type, whose wife Linda, a bartender, left him
when she found him fooling around with another woman; Butch was (probably still
is) a city worker, who, upon arriving home, would light up several joints, and
sit in a double-parked car listening to hard rock at peak volume.  On more than
one occasion I had to check to see whether he was OK.  The glassy-eyed, lost
look certainly didn't inspire much confidence.  Both Frank and Butch have moved
on to parts unknown.  But there's still Conrad, and that's the rub: an old man,
 he lives in a miserable "garden" -- that's Chicago for basement -- apartment.
It's extremely difficult to understand him because he speaks with a huge speech
 impediment.  My wife says that she understands perhaps 10% of everything he
says.  Still, about a month ago, he repeated -- or seemed to -- Frank's and
Butch's assertions about Elvis staying in this house.  He's not joking either,
but whether he's telling the truth is an entirely different story.  We believe
he's sincere but how to know the basis of his beliefs?

So this morning I decided to try to get to the bottom of the story by calling
up Lee, the 75 yr-old lady who lives on the other side of us.  When I asked
her about all this, she laughed up a storm and told me not to believe a word
of what the others had said.  She's lived in the same apartment for over 40
years and asserts that she's never heard of any such things.  In fact, she
told me to talk to Merle directly across the street, and who's lived in the
same house for about half a century.  When I see her I'm going to see what
she says.  All this, you should realize, is not without some risk to my good
name and standing in the community -- after all, I'm perceived as someone who
might well be teaching the families' children or grandchildren.  But if I
find anything else -- or there are any new developments -- you'll of course be
the first to know.  I promise.

In the meantime, just know that we've seen no Elvis ghosts around here; no sequ
ined or spangled spirits.  Just as well too since the "King" is certainly not a
mong my favorites, but we'll leave that one alone for now.

                       Renato (Always on the Case) Barahona
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