From: mba2@Rosie.UH.EDU (D-Poon)
Subject: Re: Ms. Indian American and I (Re: Indian/Indian-American communication)
Reply-To: mba2@Rosie.UH.EDU
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 19:38:48 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.201804.25589@Firewall.Nielsen.Com>, mgundeko@pcserver2.Naitc.Com (Murthy Gundekota) writes:
>In article <POPAT.92Aug28132134@image.mit.edu> popat@image.mit.edu (Kris Popat) writes:
>>>I'd like to start a discussion about any barriers that might exist to
>>effective verbal communication between people who grew up in India and
>>Indian-descended people who grew up in the U.S.
>>What barriers exist, and how might they be overcome?
>
>What barriers exist, huh? Let me kick this thing off with a recent encounter
>with a couple of Indian-descended people of opposite sex. 
>
>Ms. Aroma and I
>================
>
>Ms. Aroma and I have agreed to dine in the name of a blind date. So we
>pick this place where they serve some goob, which later I've smelt on
>Ms.Aroma's burp (hence that name folks) and discovered to be cheese
>inside a deep dish pizza. This is how the conversation began, ``Oh,
>Indian boy, you seem to know plenty of English words. How did you get
>them.'' !!During my chicken pox, at eight. I have nothing to do, so I
>kept myself or my body busy by reading soft porn by James Hadley
>Chase. Then I go to this school where they talk only in English,
>otherwise my hair would've been shaved. Of course, my parents wouldn't
>touch me with a broomstick if I didn't call myself bastard before
>every meal, every morning after getting up and in front of strangers.
>I can speak in English.!! ``Okay, Indian man, now that you are grown
>up, what do you want from life?''  !!You see, I am grown up, but not
>tall. There is a subtle difference, if you've noticed how these tall
>American women look down upon me. By the way, that is not the reason
>why I've agreed to see you today. To answer your question, I am grown
>up to be a virgin. Is that good enough for you?!! ``Indian dude, you
>are fraying my nerves. Are you going to stay here for ever?'' !!Of
>course, babe...er...Ms.  Aroma...thanks for reminding me your
>name...how can I leave United States and go back to that pre-historic
>cave-land? Are you going to give me company while I rot here?!! ``See
>ya, Indian drooler. I've a lot of things to do this weekend. My boy
>friend is coming over and my room-mate has plans to clean the
>apartment. I haven't washed my clothes in weeks. My toothbrush needs a
>change of handle. And my panties need a new elastic.'' !!All right, I
>will catch your breath again.!!
>
>
>Ms. Vegetarian and I on the phone
>==================================
>
>``So, my father tells me you are interested in me.'' !!Is that so? He
>told me you wanted to talk to me. No matter what, we are talking to
>each other. That's very important.!!``What did you say?''!!I meant we
>are communicating.!!``I trust my father too much. I shouldn't any
>more.'' !!Good inference but bad thinking.!! ``He said you are a
>vegetarian.''!!I am. I eat vegetables when I don't want to eat
>meat.!!``What? Are you saying you eat meat?''!!No, only when I don't
>like to eat vegetables.!!``Did you eat meat any time?''!!Did you have
>sex any time?!!``What's the relation?''!!That way I can verify what
>your father said about you.!!``No kidding, that old man. I trust him
>too much. He is a hotelier. That's all.''!!So you haven't answered my
>question.!!``No woman will answer that question. You are not my boy
>friend. Know your limits.''!!You aren't my mommy either babe. If you
>care about my food habits, I care about your sex habits. See the
>connection.!!``This has gone far enough. Let's hang up. I don't think
>it will work between us.''!!Yeah, yeah, that's what my mom said when I
>was young. All you women are same. This time I didn't even want a
>woman. Your old man calls me, as if he is croaking on his death bed,
>then asks me to call you. He tells you are 26, single, and getting
>older fast. Your American talk won't fool me. Nope, not me. I am no
>kidder. I eat meat. I drink vodka. I date women. Whenever I want.
>Wherever I want. Whatever it takes. However it ends up. Moreover I am
>not getting much action with women lately. So please, please, will you
>agree to go out on a date with me?!!``No way. We are through. My
>father is stupid. He told me that you are dying to meet a vegetarian.
>I thought you are not getting any vegetarian food in your
>neighborhood, so I can give you some restaurants addresses.''!!Yeah,
>yeah, I will go alone, give the addresses. Damn vegetarian women.!!
>
>
>Have fun folks,
>
>Murthy

Truly Interesting, I hadn't quite gotten the same impression as you
about this particular matter.  Ain't it terrible knowing somebody
that actually knows that you are a VEGETARIAN.  Yes, you are right
VEGETARIANS, damn them all.  

But Folks,  I somewhat agree but not completely with the above.  IK
have experienced problems myself commnunicating with certain FOBI's (II)
versus ABCI's (IA).  It's mainly with the gentlemen.  I find that 
they have a misconception on how to treat other's from the homeland.
Particularly with women.  At the same time, I do not make it a habit
to call on IA or II ladies at their home.  If I can get their shcool
or work numbers, I try to call them there. We live in society (Indin)
that's double standard get's in the way.  In a way the above scene can
actually exist.  My father is a classic example of this with my sister.
When someone calls at the house for her, he is always curious as to
who it is, and what "HE" wants.  Ahh... but that is an interlude.

I think most II/IA problems exist because of the way we think and
associate with people.  IA's tend to associate with A's much more
readily and are more comfortable in a freer atmosphere, where the
the II atmosphere is confining.  If you go out with an II or even
and IA everybody in the community knows and is expeting marraige.

This is not a wise option at such an early age.  I'm beginning to
ramble.  Talk at you all soon.

D-Poon
Vaya Con Dios 
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian