HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'Krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: stopping cutting
Date: 6 Jan 93 05:03:34 CST
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

In article <1ib2heINNs54@flash.pax.tpa.com.au>, anon.33@pax.tpa.com.au writes:
> anon-1498@twwells.com (Sierra) said:

>>I've been reading the recent discussions of cutting with quite a lot of 
>>interest (yes, it has a lot of personal application :-().  One thing
>>I've found very useful is to make myself wristbands.  I get in moods
>>where the only thing I can do is stare at the veins in my wrists and
>>think how easy it would be....  My lover cut up a pair of old socks and
>>made me wristbands out of the tops of them.  Now I usually have the
>>sense to put them on when I start feeling that way, instead of actually
>>slicing.  It makes me feel much safer to have the material against my
>>wrists; I think of it as a nurturing thing, that I love my wrists (and
>>so does she - it helps that the wristbands are a gift from her).
>
>i was told in the hospital to use rubber bands.  they help two ways:
>you can feel something, hopefully, and stay grounded and also
>you can tug at them in a repetetive way (at least that's what i do
>because my cutting is very repetetive and mesmerizing).  Actually,
>a third way: i think they help me feel bounded in myself too.

Wow.  That seems to simple and bleepin' obvious!  I should have thought of
that...  And I can see where it will help, now that my cutting knife is now in
the possesion of someone else.  (For at least 6 months, she'll hold onto it
longer, if nessesary!)  (And ironic factor that's slightly humorous...  She
made use of the pocket knife within an hour of my handing it to her.  And she
*ACCIDENTALLY* cut herself on it...)

Poohbear,

Thanks for posting this.  I think it will help.  :)

<><><><>
Krikket (a.k.a. Doug Krick)  ---  krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us
#include<std.disclaimers>    ---  an294@anon.penet.fi
anon-1214@twwells.com        ---  anon.77@pax.tpa.com.au

 "And the Germans killed the Jews.  And the Jews killed the Arabs.
  And the Arabs killed the hostages.  And that is the news."
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: warton@ssd.intel.com (Peter Warton)
Subject: Re: Relationships are complicated!
Organization: Supercomputer Systems Division (SSD), Intel
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 00:35:00 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.220308.3116@fuug.fi> an4617@anon.penet.fi (Phoenix)
writes:


>    I was just reading someone else's post about being lonely and shy
> and it struck a cord with me.  I think I have a more complex problem.
>  I at one time was *not* shy or introverted, in fact, I was quite the
> opposite (call me "social butterfly").  Somehow during my past
> relationship all of my emotional energy got transfered to my SO, so
> that now that that relationship no longer exists, I am having a
> difficult time learning how to be with other people again.  The sad
> thing is that during my extroverted times in the past I ended up
> getting into relationships with men that were based on purely
> physical intimacies; they were really lacking in the emotional and
> intellectual intimacy that I now seek.  Now it seems like I can sort
> of find the latter, but the men that can relate to me in this way are
> not physically attracted to me.  From my standpoint, it is the
> emotional connection that makes a man physically attractive to me.
> Why is it that I just can't get what I really want, which is both
> things (emotional and physical connection)?
> Phoenix

Phoenix,

Your post has finally brought me to post again.

I too was once not shy.  I was a very outgoing and extroverted person,
and I loved to be the center of everyone's attention.  Since I began to
deal with my abuse and related issues, I started to feel more and more 
awkward socially.  The trend has not reversed, and there are times when 
I feel so intensly uncomfortable being around people, even those that I 
really like and care about, that I start to space out in a serious way.
I have come to belive reccently that this has a lot to do with me getting
in touch with my feelings of shame.  I often feel (though I wont consciously
think it) that I am not worthy of being in other people's company, that
they can see how stupid and fake I really am.  I am working on it, but it
just seems to have gotten worse recently.  I am so discouraged that I don't
even do my normal care-taking things.  Of course these feelings aren't all 
from being uncomfortable socially, but it does make me feel lonely and sad.

Thank you for jolting me from my apathy.  And thanks to the many others whose
words have loosened the death-grip I have upon my soul.


Peter
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Warton (The h was dropped     | Against my better judgement (not to
over 800 years ago)		    | mention the advice of my friends) I
warton@ssd.intel.com		    | speak for myself.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor)
Subject: Re: confrontations
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 02:24:26 GMT


               *******spoiler*****


I read here what people have to say about confrontations and I have
to ask, what do you do when you can't confront them?  Not my father
for doing it, nor my mother for allowing it ( when he did it right
in front of her, she had to know).  

They are both dead.

This leaves a lot of issues, anger and pain unresolved.

Not only for me but my sisters as well.  And for one neice. 
He raped her when she was eight and because she was too...small,
he took a knife and...enlarged her.  So, she has no recourse either.

I have forgiven my mother. I feel more pity than anything else.  She
was never a very strong woman and she did the best she could.

--
                  You got to love me with a feeling,
                  Or you don't love me at all.
                                      -- ?
From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'Krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: More Letters  *Minor Spoiler*
Date: 12 Jan 93 05:22:08 CST
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

2:11am
1/12/93

Help.

     After a month of reading, I finally finished _The_Courage_To_Heal_.  This
from someone who has been known to read one and a half paperback novels in an 8
hour period...

     Panic set in at first.  "This can't be all!  There has to be more!  I'm
not done yet!"  Still haven't quite reached an equilibrium yet.  (This is being
written 20 minutes after finishing,)

     ASAR has helped a *LOT* so far.  When the holiday's started, I failed to
realize how big of a chunk of my support net asar was, and how much of it was
going to be out-of-contact.  (And, of course,  received email from many people
volunteering to listen [until they returned].  Foolish of me to forget to write
down their Net Addresses!)  Most of the people I was leaning on (and
visa-versa) have yet to return to the Net.  (And Sarah, I suspect a bit-bucket
has appeared between us.)  [ Ed Note: Nathan, I just received your email a few
minutes ago.  Didn't realize you were back in town.  Looks like the bit bucket
that snagged Sarah's Email also snagged yours!  (And so both of you know, that
error has been fixed!)]

     Odd how I've based so much on pacing myself through _CTH_.  When I finally
have some cash to spend, I'll be investigating the resource guide (and Section
5 of the FAQ) first-hand.  I just feel kinda scared meanwhile, if that makes
any sence!  (I don't get it, but I'll accept it...)

     And so I wearily write on.  Exaustion has come, even though I'm well
rested.  Ahh well.

     Tommorow I get paid, and can do some things I *NEED* to get done.  Fill my
new prescription given my the psych, get the brakes fixed on my car - so I'm no
longer a hazard on the road.  Cover bounced checks.  Pay Bills.  Etc.  Wish I
had money I could spend on me.  Oh well.  Life sucks.

     The burn marks are now almost gone.  Looks like some of the cuts are
scarring.  Don't know if I should feel happy or sad.  And the dance goes on...

     Now excuse me before (while?) I flip-out.  (ha-ha-only-serious)

<><><><>
Krikket                      ---  krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us
#include<std.disclaimers>    ---  an294@anon.penet.fi
anon-1214@twwells.com        ---  anon.77@pax.tpa.com.au

  "You'll pay to know what you really think."  J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: GOOD NEWS
Keywords: GOOD
Date: 6 Jan 93 00:57:02 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: stein.u.washington.edu

starbran@stein.u.washington.edu (Harvin Queen) writes:

[ lotsa good news omitted ]

>I will continue to watch you guys....Im just telling you this about us 
>because I want you to know that there are real people at these keyboards
>here and that what is said here DOES matter (as if you didnt know).

>- Emilio

hey, emilio.  that's great.  i'm really happy for you.  thanks for letting us
know.  you don't know how much a ray of warm sunshine can mean around here.
hang in there, and try and get your SO some net access if you can!  :)
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: kadie@cs.uiuc.edu (Carl M. Kadie)
Subject: Re: Kadie's post on Ritual Abuse
Organization: University of Illinois, Dept. of Comp. Sci., Urbana, IL
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 22:18:41 GMT

sbecker@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu writes:

>Carl Kadie suggests in a recent post that Ritual Abuse isn't an appropriate
>topic for ASAR <excuse me for not excerpting his post--I don't know how>.
[...]

I meant to say that, in my opinion, *debate of the reality* of ritual
abuse in ASAR is rude. Such debate is welcome in sci.skeptic.
If I was unclear, I'm sorry.

- Carl
-- 
Carl Kadie -- I do not represent any organization; this is just me.
 = kadie@cs.uiuc.edu =
From: arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk (Angus H Rodgers)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Thanks for nothing..bleah
Date: 11 Jan 93 21:52:09 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Dept, QMW, University of London

In <1ir3kaINNhla@flash.pax.tpa.com.au> anon.79@pax.tpa.com.au writes:

>[...] I don't want to lose messages..I don't save them usually,
>to avoid having "incriminating evidence" in my account.

Is it not safe to save them under boring-looking file names?

(Sorry if this is just a silly suggestion -- from one paranoid
to another.) :-)

----

>Hello to all the new people, and safe healing.

Thanks.

(Still not sure if I belong here, but what the heck -- 
if I don't, people will soon tell me to get lost.)
--
Gus Rodgers,  Dept. of Computer Science, | Cinema's worst romantic dialogue? --
Queen Mary & Westfield College, Mile End | "Mechagodzilla's brain is  installed
Road, London, England.   +44 71 975 5241 | in my stomach!" "I don't care if you
E-mail (JANET):   arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk | are a cyborg  --  I still love you!"
From: anon.79@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Thanks for nothing..bleah
Date: 11 Jan 1993 16:50:58 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.79@pax.tpa.com.au
NNTP-Posting-Host: flash.pax.tpa.com.au


Hello all.

Last night I wrote an incredibly long and painful message to post
here, which answered some of the threads that have been going on here.
I sent it to twwells.com, and tonight I get a message that the
mail has not been received by twwells, and that it will not be resent.
So, it is lost.  I can only hope that someone did not read it inbetween,
but I think they probably did.  So I will not use twwells anymore, 
just because I don't want to lose messages..I don't save them usually,
to avoid having "incriminating evidence" in my account.

Free Amazon, Apple, where are you?

Silver Tiger
who is not really as silent as she seems, her messages just don't get
thru

Hello to all the new people, and safe healing.


--
** Anonymity & Privacy by PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) **

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For dialup Unix access phone +61-8-235-9010 - online registration.
From: v039eag3@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Amy R Phillips)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Hi...a re-introduction to all
Date: 9 Jan 93 07:22:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


    Hi! My name is amy and I used to read this group a long time ago, but 
had lost touch.  I am finally beginning to really deal with all of my problems
and needed a place to let some of it out.  Thank you all for being here!
    A little about myself and my situation....I was first abused by my father
at the age of 5 or 6.  This time I have almost completely blocked out and 
now with the help of my therapist and soon with hypnosis, I am trying to get
some of this back.   
    Then at about the same time in my life, I was abused by my mother's boy-
friend who lived wuth she and I at the time.  This time I have some memories of
but they are rather vague.  So it this age, I went from my mom's house during 
the week with that perp, to my father's house on the weekends.
    When I was in 7th grade, two of my peers told me that they would fix my 
bike if I took it in their barn.  Well, they did not fix my bike, but they 
tried to rape me.  Then in high school, I was forced to preform oral sex upon
a "friend" who was walking me home to "protect" me.
    I never told anyone about these incidents until I was 20, but now they seem
to be ruling my life.  I am trying to help myself, but soemtimes I just cannot
seemn to get myself out of bed, so all the work involved with healing seems a
bit much.
    But, I am can truly say that I am ready to at least try.  And getting back
to this group is a big step for me, thanks!!

hugs and courage to all that need...
amy
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: maxwell@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Mark Story)
Subject: I'm back!
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 04:22:59 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

I am actually back in two senses :                   

  1. I have terminal access again.  For a while I had a piece-o-junk terminal
     that barely functioned at all.  Yippie - At least, I'm excited.

  2. I'm back in the program, and today I celebrate 14 days.  This is the   
     most durable sobriety I have experienced since I left treatment almost
     a year ago.  (I drank the day I got out of treatment...  Oops.)

Ok, I guess I don't have anything truly signifigant to say, but I feel rather
celebratory today!  Maybe I'll drink a six-pack of soda pop.

Mark
From: scimitar@suction.acme.gen.nz (Robert Singers)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Re: My sobriety date
Date: Wed, 06 Jan 93 18:33:51 +1300
Organization: Barbed Wire Cat Productions

an3203@anon.penet.fi (Andrew) writes:

> I can tell you that your reason for not continuing to drink was
> something that didn't work for me.  I didn't stop drinking because
> I didn't like the stuff.  Cause I do.  I love the stuff.  My mouth
> still waters when I even hear someone mention "rum & coke."
> I quit the stuff because it was killing me.

Perhaps I sould clarify slightly.  I don't dislike every alcoholic 
beverage (the thought of rum & coke does make me slightly ill tho').  
It's more that I don't like the way it effects my body afterwards.  You 
know, waking up the next morning with the feeling that you are 
recovering from a mild case of poisoning, and I'm not even talking about 
having a hang over.  It's also a matter of once I learnt to have fun 
sober, then having fun whilst drinking pales in comparison.

And I've just been given a small bottle of something like Bailey's Irish 
Cream as a new years present which will languish in my fridge until I 
can find someone deserving to give it to.  (Hello Mr. Plughole).


Robert Singers               | Nothing I say or do should be taken as
scimitar@suction.acme.gen.nz | a reflection of any form of reality or
                             | consensual hallucination.
** It's not my spelling (much) that's faulty.  It's this keyboard! **
From: scimitar@suction.acme.gen.nz (Robert Singers)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Re: I'm back!
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 93 14:43:40 +1300
Organization: Barbed Wire Cat Productions

maxwell@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Mark Story) writes:

> Ok, I guess I don't have anything truly signifigant to say, but I feel rather
> celebratory today!  Maybe I'll drink a six-pack of soda pop.

Man, I'd never had a hang over like the one I got when I went to a night 
club, and drank two jugs of lemonade.  Don't do it, the sugar, 
flavouring, colouring, and preservative will kill you.

I suggest 1/2 tonic water / 1/2 orange juice.  It's quite palatable, but 
it's not the sort of drink that you want to guzzle down.  It way a good 
way for me to learn not empty glasses in quick succession.

Robert Singers               | Nothing I say or do should be taken as
scimitar@suction.acme.gen.nz | a reflection of any form of reality or
                             | consensual hallucination.
** It's not my spelling (much) that's faulty.  It's this keyboard! **
From: an3835@anon.penet.fi (George)
Subject: Re: "We are not allied with any sect or denomination" - Really?
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: alt.recovery
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 01:40:17 GMT

What a concept!  Fire your old God, and make a new one of your own.
I still consider myself a Christian, but I get to let go of my old
fears, guilts, and pain.

George

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
Due to the double-blind system, any replies to this message will be anonymized,
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Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: sanders@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sue Sanders)
Subject: Re: "We are not allied with any sect or denomination" - Really?
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 14:25:45 GMT

Just for the record, AA is not for newcommers only.  You certainly have to
give it away to keep it but I have to continue to work on myself and AA 
helps me to do that.  I am constantly changing, constantly my god is 
revealing more to me.  

Oh, and by the way, when I was five years sober I had to play on a newcommer
volleyball team.  Where I come from I'm still not an oldtimer and I have 
9 years.  Quite frankly, I prefer to be kept humble that way.

Sue
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: jerpseth@sd.cadence.com (James Jerpseth)
Subject: Sobriety Date (was: Clean Time)
Organization: Cadence Design Systems, San Diego Center
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 17:47:10 GMT

From the original title (clean time) I can assume that this
was originally an NA article. I have no idea about how that
peculiar organization is run but in AA, a program which I
am familiar with sobriety is the sole concern. (Perhaps
it is not much of a concern in NA because no-one ever
seems to get very much of it -- clean time that is.)

Sobriety is the one and only goal of AA and it recovery program.
  Perhaps a quick review of the traditions would be nice here.

Therefor sobriety counts.

When confronted by one of these well meaning treatment center rejects
that says all that is important is the fact that I am sober today,
I ask them the following questions --

   "Since I got sober on 25 March 87, if I drank yesterday but am
    sober today can I keep that date as my sobriety date or do I
    have to change it to today, 10 Jan 1993?"

   They always answer that I must change it to today, 10 Jan 1993.

   "Well, what if we compromise?", I ask. "I'll change my sobriety
    date to 26 not 25 March 1987. I've been sober all of those days
    except one of them, and since it does not matter what day it was
    that I drank, I choose to move it to the front of the list, and
    just move my sobriety date up one day."

   By this time they are usually angry, upset, and bewildered. It offends
their 17 days or 63 days or 8 months for me to presume that I can drink
tonight and still stay in front of them, sobriety date wise. This may
seem cruel to you panty-waists who think sobriety is supposed to be nothing
but laughs and positive affirmations from the lastest psycho-babble
print mill, but it does a wonderful job of re-directing someone's
thoughts about the idea that sobriety is not the main object. I then
usually suggest that they read the tradition section of the 12 X 12.

James Jerpseth aka jerpseth@sd.cadence.com
				   
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: porta@wam.umd.edu (David Palmer)
Subject: Re: I'm back!
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 16:17:55 GMT

	Enjoy your sodapop.  Jolt is one of my favorite.

-- 
***************************** porta@wam.umd.edu ****************************

                     Still looking for an interesting quote.
From: info@ccsvax.sfasu.edu (SFASU Anonymous account)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Seeking CODA in Houston Area
Date: 5 Jan 93 23:24:45 CST
Organization: Stephen F. Austin State University

I am lookingg for a list of CODA groups or meetings in the Houston or North
Harris County (Texas) area.

If you can help please send replies to:  SMTP%"Z_WOODSJL@CCSVAX.SFASU.EDU"

If at all possible please include meeting times.

Thankyou.
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-)
Subject: Re: I'm back!
Organization: OFSA
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 13:28:26 GMT


Welcome back Mark! Congrats on the 14 days...keep it going!

Steve