HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: s9000289@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au (Cameron Hooper)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Left vs Right 
Date: 5 Jan 93 23:01:57 +1000
Organization: University of New South Wales

Here is proof that it is natural to drive on the left hand side of the
road.

In olden times, when roads were first beginning to emerge, the sword
was the prefered weapon.  As most people are right handed the sword
was worn on the left side of the body.  Now when our sword wielding
traveller wished to mount his horse, he would have to do so from the
animal's left hand side.  Otherwise, his sword would interfere with
his mounting action.  If his horse was on the left hand side of the
road, the armed tourist could mount from the safety of the edge of 
the road.  However, if his horse was on the right hand side of the
road he would have to approach it from the centre of the road, thus
exposing himself to the danger of being trampled by some other
traveller.  Natural selection would quickly weed out the right hand
riders, leaving the left hand riders with greater opportunity to
breed.

When that just about proves t is guess.


-- 
************************************************************************
*  Cameron Hooper                        University of New South Wales *
*  s9000289@csdvax.csd.unsw.oz.au                                      *
************************************************************************
From: gt2841c@prism.gatech.EDU (gt2841c)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: ASCII Monkey??
Date: 8 Jan 93 20:16:46 GMT
Organization: Georgia Institute of Technology


Hello, I would appreciate it if somebody could post/send me/tell me where
to find ASCII drawings of monkeys or other nonhuman primates, preferably
holding bananas.

advTHANKSance,

-Koushik

ObJoke: My social life...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: etbeteille@happy.colorado.edu
Subject: Top Ten Things Environmentalists Forget
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: 5 Jan 93 14:29:47 MDT


From the home office in Colorado Springs, Colo., here are the
TOP TEN THINGS ENVIRONMENTALIST FORGET:

10. VEHICLE EXHAUST ADDS FLAVOR TO ORDINARY BLAND AIR
 9. ALUMINUM TOILET PAPER
 8. BULIMICS ARE HABITUAL RECYCLERS
 7. WE'RE NOT JUST LOSING A PLANET, WE'RE GAINING A PLANET-IN-LAW
 6. SOLAR POWERED FLASHLIGHTS
 5. WITHOUT AN OZONE HOLE, THE SPACE SHUTTLE COULD NEVER GET BACK IN
 4. NUTRITIONAL VALUE OF PRAIRIE DOG POT PIE
 3. OAT BRAN SUCKS
 2. ORIGAMI IS THE ANSWER TO WORLD PEACE

and the #1 thing environmentalists forget:
    IN THE END, IT'S ALWAYS HAMMER TIME.



By E.T. Beteille and H. Tofu, as printed in
"Prairie Dog Stacking: The Top Tens" from
MHI Publishing.

Reprinted with permission of the authors.
From: gvg@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Greg Goebel)
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 20:22:05 GMT
Subject: Re: Knackers
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Loveland, CO
Newsgroups: rec.humor

I liked this ... cultural questions:  what are "pavies" and "Hi-Ace van" and
"knackers" (the last sounds a little like "blokes").

   Wile E. Coyote at the Acme Online Support Organization For The SouthWest

                     "ACME -- The Name You Can Trust!"
--
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 |                               DISCLAIMER                                   |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 |   Who cares what I think?  I don't take MYSELF seriously, why should you?  |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 | Greg Goebel                             NET:     gvg@hpislsup              |
 | Hewlett-Packard                         HP DESK: GREG GOEBEL               |
 | VXD Marketing                           PHONE:   Telnet/303 679-3424       |
 | POB 301 / MS-CU326 / Loveland CO 80539  FAX:     Telnet/303 679-5957       |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Chris O'Donovan <odonovan@physun.physics.mcmaster.ca>
Subject: Re: Seriously, a joke.
X-Xxdate: Wed, 6 Jan 93 23:36:00 GMT
Organization: McMaster University
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d12
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 22:33:31 GMT

In article <3300313@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM> Greg Goebel,
gvg@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM writes:
>   Wile E. Coyote at the Acme Online Support Organization
For The SouthWest
>
>                     "ACME -- The Name You Can Trust!"

Did you know that ACME is an acronym?

A
Company that
Makes
Everything

Chris O'Donovan

odonovan@physun.physics.mcmaster.ca
From: obrien@acf3.nyu.edu (Julia R. O'Brien)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Adult Smilies
Date: 13 Jan 93 03:18:37 GMT
Organization: DON'T MESS WITH THE O(BRIEN), Inc. <New York University>

pelton@ecf.toronto.edu (PELTON MATTHEW ALAN) writes:
>In article <1700@ozz.oasis.icl.co.uk> cwa@oasis.icl.co.uk (Chris Adams) writes:
>>Yea what do all these wierd symbols mean anyway. I see loads of
>>
>>	:-)
>>
>>	8)
>>
>>And other such stuff on the net, What the hell to they mean?
>>
>>Excuse me if I'm being really slow..

>  I know that, but I'm sure it's been answered.  I've been off net for
>a while, though.  I want to know what OBTW means...

Perhaps, "Oh, By The Way..."  *smile*

-Julia




--
Julia R. O'Brien	  -*- -*- -*-	              obrien@acf3.nyu.edu      
New York University	     -*- -*- -*-	obrien@acfcluster.nyu.edu
Academic Computing Facility	-*- -*- -*-	          IRCnick: OBRIEN      
  -*- -*- -*-  DON'T MESS WITH THE O(BRIEN), Inc. (c) 1992  -*- -*- -*-
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.british
From: skip@rosalyn.stat.uga.edu (Skip Gundlach)
Subject: Re: ...where angels fear...  INDEED
Organization: UGA Statistics Department
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 14:42:24 GMT

In article <1993Jan6.220745.10937@pony.Ingres.COM> garrett@Ingres.COM (WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS) writes:
>In article <20220.2b495adf@ul.ie>, mckeonj@ul.ie         
>>(This is for Brits only)
>>Did you see where some guy last year was done for speeding
>>in a Reliant Robin? Clocked 105 mph!
>>Top that, Del Boy.
>
>HAH! I once got my volkswagon Bug up to 110 mph!
>(of course it was on a loooonng downhill, and after 95 mph I had to
>shift into neutral)
>
Did you have a death wish at the time?  

Seems to me, given the shape, weight, etc, that it might get a little
lighter and thus less controllable.  Likely the tires weren't rated
for anything close to that speed, either...

I see you survived the trip :-)

>>"Ich am of Irlonde" (medieval fragment used by Yeats)
>>John McKeon, Material Science Dept. University of Limerick, Ireland


-- 
Skip Gundlach .nosig (Sorry, that's the best I could do on short
notice, and I'm not even an electrician...)
From: thall@epcot.spdc.ti.com (Tom Hall)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: QUOTE OF THE DAY
Date: 12 Jan 93 00:10:05 GMT
Organization: TI Semiconductor Process and Design Center

Quote of the day sounds great, send 'em to me!!

Thanks,

T.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bs@wucs1.wustl.edu (Bala SWAMINATHAN)
Subject: Marriage quotes
Organization: Washington University, St. Louis MO
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 20:46:27 GMT


Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for
and institution.
		     -- Mae West

At American weddings, the quality of food is inversely
proportinal to the social position of the bride and
the groom.
		     -- Calvin Trillin

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have;
the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
		     -- Agatha Christie

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
		     -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and
his second wife to his success.
		     -- Jim Backus

Love is only the game that is not called on account
of darkness.
		     -- M. Hirschfield

Men have better time than women; for one thing they
marry later; for another thing they die earlier.
		     -- H. L. Mencken

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of
many men for the inattention of one.
		     -- Helen Rowland

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself
would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
		     -- S. T. Coleridge

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair
that some men should be happier than others.
		     -- Oscar Wilde

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the
same human being.
		     -- Benjamin Disraeli

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you
take it out, you lose interest.
		     -- Prof. Irwin Corey

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
		     -- Unknown

I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man
being required by law to sleep with me everynight.
		     -- Carrie Snow

In a great romance, each person plays a part the other
really likes.
		     -- Elizabeth Ashley

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
		     -- Lord Dewar


Cheers
S_Bala
From: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM (Fil Feit)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: A actual joke
Date: 5 Jan 93 12:45:34 GMT
Reply-To: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems

From The Greaseman, coming soon to a radio station near you:

A man and a woman are getting it on in bed, when they hear the front
door open.  The woman says, "It's my husband!  You'd better hide."

She throws his clothes under the bed, and he hides behind the curtains.
Her husband comes in, sees her all hot and sweaty and the sheets all
messed up.  He looks around, and sees a big bulge in the curtains, and
a pair of feet sticking out underneath.  He whips the curtains open, and
says, "Who the Hell are you?"

The man says, "I'm the moth inspector."

The husband says, "Moth inspector?  Why are you naked?"

The man looks down, and says, "Damn.  I'm too late."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: A.M.Salt1@lut.ac.uk
Subject: Another blonde joke
Reply-To: A.M.Salt1@lut.ac.uk (Honey Monster)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 93 13:21:51 GMT

 A blonde is suffering froma sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She
 explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out 
 his torch and says "Open wide".
 "I can't," replies the blonde," the chair's fitted with arms."

 Why do blondes wear knickers?   
 To keep their ankles warm.

 Could anybody send me the complete blonde jokes list?

 "Sigless" Alun. 

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gk@castle.ed.ac.uk (G Kerr)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Elvis
Date: 8 Jan 93 18:33:38 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

Not a joke, this is fact.

The bookies in Britain have stopped taking bets on Elvis appearing at his
anniversary concert - they say its too big a risk!?! *8^>

Gav



email:  gk@dcs.ed.ac.uk
	gk@castle.ed.ac.uk
	gkerr@nyx.cs.du.edu

*******************************************************************************
If everything seems to be going well, its an ambush! - Murphy  (3rd law of war)
Im not paranoid,but see the guy behind me...
*******************************************************************************
Im a .signature virus : Copy me into your .sig and join in the fun         *8^>
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: csanoy@bcars689.NoSubdomain.NoDomain (Cynthia Sanoy)
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Keywords: Funky Christian Names
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 17:44:18 GMT

Two annecdotes:

A friend of mine had three Vietnamese with the surname of Nguyen in one of his classes... 
Truc, Car and Van, all unrelated, I believe.

A fellow I know, Ted Moens, was threatening to name his daughter Farrah. His
wife vetoed.
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cynthia Sanoy                    |   #include <std/disclaimer>
Dept 0367, DCR Development       |
Prism Systems Inc                |  "A train of thought was passing by
132 East Drive,                  |   I caught it
Brampton, Ontario                |   And spent the day
L6T 3T9                          |   In wond'rous reverie..."
CANADA                           |       CAS - Sept 4/87
PHONE (416) 452-4923             |
FAX   (416) 452-3342             |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: smithrud@advtech.uswest.com (Gary Smithrud)
Subject: Liquid Solutions
Organization: U S WEST Advanced Technologies
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 03:23:58 GMT


Heard on a local radio station:

Q:  What do you call a mixture of holy water and castor oil?

A:  A religious movement.



Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: drizzt@spock.uucp (Neela Jacques)
Subject: Re: READ MY LIPS...
Organization: Choate Rosemary Hall
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 00:49:15 GMT

In article <19218@mindlink.bc.ca> Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark) writes:
>        If there is a moderator on "rec.humor" why the fuck isn't he (she or
>it) doing his (her or it's) job by removing ALL offensive (non-humourous)
>material.
>
>        I logon to this group for only one (count 'em, ONE (1)) reason and
>that's to read humour.  I am getting bloody sick and tired of having to wade
>through political, religious, and other misc shit.  There is a place for this
>crap and it's NOT on rec.humor so stick it where it belongs.  I can just
>imagine what would happen if I attempted to post a nice juicy adult joke to
>the religious group.
>
>        I know I am NOT alone in this regard so my personal message to any
>existing moderator is this... do your fucking job and do it properly or find
>someone that will.
>
>        If I sound slightly pissed off I apologize then I have not got my
>message across... I am ROYALLY pissed off!  Please forward all flames to me
>personally at:  Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca
>

I don't agree it's very funny to hear people being so pathetic!





Xref: sparky rec.humor:37379 soc.religion.quaker:380 soc.culture.celtic:8548 soc.culture.jewish:24567
From: morna@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Morna J Findlay)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: Seriously, a joke.
Date: 5 Jan 93 11:03:59 GMT
Reply-To: morna@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Morna J Findlay)
Organization: Laboratory for the Foundations of Computer Science, Edinburgh U

In article <1993Jan3.203648.11085@philmtl.philips.ca> ray@philmtl.philips.ca (Ray Dunn) writes:
>In refd article, trifid@agora.rain.com (Roadster Racewerks) writes:
>
> >Scots had to be thrifty because they (Highlanders, at least) came from a
> >place where it could be very hard to make a living, and often had little
> >to share.  They were noted for their hospitality, but did *need* to drive
> >a hard bargain.
>
>Nice theory, I suppose, but could apply to most people in most places.
>
>There's no evidence that the Scots sterotype for stinginess is based on
>anything other than it was cultivated by Scottish Victorian music-hall
>artistes as part of an otherwise artificial personna.

I belive the stereotype of Scots as thrifty or stingy may derive from
the earlier stereotype held by the English that Scotland was a poor -
nay, virtually famine-stricken land, fortunate to be saved from ruin by
the Union with England.

I am presently re-reading "The Expedition of Humphrey Clinker" by Samuel
Smollet in which a party of Welsh gentry and their servants are going on
a tour of Britain. When they arrive in Scotland, much is made of the fact
that the people *do* seem to have food to eat, crops in the fields and
animals in the byres. Later ( as I remember, 'cos I haven't got to that
bit yet) they admire the beautious scenery and coutesy of the local
inhabitants.

Smollett was a Scot of course and this book should be partly seen as a
defence of his country against the slanders popular in England at the
time.


I ( or the protaganists, rather) am presently in Doncaster where the
narrators ( it is an epistolary novel) ate shocked to see rude and
libllous graffiti defaming "the Scotch Nation" "scratched on every
window" of the Inns from there on north, that they pass through. 
Scottish travellers, they note, do not seem to have retaliated in kind.

The notes to the text give a reference which looks like it may list some
of these scandelous verses, and one day, maybe I'll look them up :-)


M

-- 
Morna Findlay 					JANET:morna@uk.ac.ed.dcs 
	Thanksgiving For a National Victory (Robert Burns)
Ye hypocrites! are these your pranks? To murder men and give God thanks?
Desist, for shame! Proceed no further: God won't accept your thanks for murther.
From: pmclaugh@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Date: 7 Jan 93 20:22:48 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.194605.17959@jato.jpl.nasa.gov>, vsnyder@math.jpl.nasa.gov (Van Snyder) writes:
> In article <8280@lib.tmc.edu> drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez) writes:
>>In article <6497.3139.uupcb@synapse.org> doug.hewko@synapse.org (Doug Hewko)
>>writes:
>>>Don't forget Ima's famous sister, Ura Hogg.  (Don't mean to be nit-
>>>picky, but when I saw their names (along with Alberta Canada) on the 
>>>TV, the last name was spelled "Hogg".  Is it "Hog" or "Hogg"?)
>>
>>Aaaaaaaggghhhhhh! "Ima Hogg" was real. "Ura Hogg" is a joke!!!!
>>
>>Ima Hogg was the daughter of some dead Texas politician with a cruel sense of
>>humor.
>>
>>David Gutierrez
>>drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu
> 
> Then there's Bill Lear's daughter Crystal Chanda Lear.
> -- 
> What fraction of Americans believe   |  Van Snyder
> Wrestling is real and NASA is fake?  |  vsnyder@math.jpl.nasa.gov

My sister, Claire Barrett, plans to name her firstborn Grinnin'.

Tricia McLaughlin
pmclaugh@ecs.umass.edu
From: cwa@oasis.icl.co.uk (Chris Adams)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Speaking of stupid commercials...
Date: 5 Jan 93 11:50:10 GMT
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3

There is a wine over here in the UK called "Black Tower" that is white wine
in a black bottle. It's being promoted as, wait for it: "Black out of white".

     .-----------------------------.----------------------------------.
     |   .  .     ____    _   _    | WARNING: This Superman suit does |
     |  /| /| .-.    /   |_| |_>   | not enable the wearer to fly.    |
     | / |/ | |     /___ | | |     `----------------------------------|
     |      aka Chris Adams                cwa@oasis.icl.co.uk        |
     `----------------------------------------------------------------'
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: murali@charles.polymer.uakron.edu (Murali Cotah)
Subject:  READ MY LIPS... TOO
Organization: Institute of Polymer Science, University of Akron
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 02:45:14 GMT

Keywords: 

>>If there is a moderator on "rec.humor" why the fuck isn't he (she or
it) doing his (her or it's) job by removing ALL offensive (non-humourous)
material.
>>

Whose interpretation of offensive (non-humourous) : yours, mine, his, hers, it's ??

>>I logon to this group for only one (count 'em, ONE (1)) reason and
that's to read humour.
>>
I like that. Thats "rather" funny.

>>I am getting bloody sick and tired of having to wade
through political, religious, and other misc shit.
>>

Pardon me -- I thought they were funny too (duh) .

>>I can just
imagine what would happen if I attempted to post a nice juicy adult joke to
the religious group.
>>

Laugh ?

>>I know I am NOT alone in this regard so my personal message to any
existing moderator is this... do your fucking job and do it properly or find
someone that will.
>>

Robyn Clark for moderator (hear, hear).

>>If I sound slightly pissed off I apologize then I have not got my
message across... 
>>

Since this is "rec.humor" - i thought it was a joke. 

>>I am ROYALLY pissed off!

What ever turns you on ....
-----------------------------------------------
I enjoyed your "piece". If only people could have your sense of humour we would be guaranteed of 
one (count 'em, ONE (1), single, numero uno, ....) humourous (hence : non-offensive ?)
"whateveryouwanttocallit". I think you should write more often. Nice reading ya ...

cotah
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: garrett@Ingres.COM (WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS)
Subject: Re: Naeem: don't emulate american, its a ghastly accent
Summary: Denmark  
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: language
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 8 Jan 93 02:48:28 GMT

In article <2662@eagle.ukc.ac.uk>, srd@ukc.ac.uk (S.R.Davies)                                  writes...
>In article <1993Jan6.025316.2017@pony.Ingres.COM> garrett@Ingres.COM (WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS) writes:
>>In article <i3558.725901920@newsie>, i3558@newsie.dc.dk (Soren Michael Roug)                     writes...
>>>I seems to me that this discussion is mostly, if not completely carried
>>>out by americans. My advice to you is that if you want to improve your
>>>english language then learn the King's english, not those barbarian dialects
>>>the yanks choose to utter. 
>>   [...]
>>	Secondly, English is one of the most basterdized languages
>>in the world. It's a mish-mash of a dozen different languages (and that's
>>not even including the multiple dialects in that tiny little island of yours.)
> 
>	That first sentence is a good example. You may be interested to
> know that Denmark is not an island !

Thanks for letting me know that. It's a good thing I wasn't talking 
about Denmark.
> 
> Regards, Steve.

-garrett
Xref: sparky rec.humor:37469 soc.religion.quaker:385 soc.culture.celtic:8576 soc.culture.jewish:24629
From: trifid@agora.rain.com (Roadster Racewerks)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: Seriously, a joke.
Date: 6 Jan 93 12:43:37 GMT
Article-I.D.: agora.C0FnCq.8pE
Organization: Open Communications Forum

In article <1993Jan4.053526.18627@rock.concert.net> darkshot@rock.concert.net (Michael B Garrett -- Chudys) writes:
>Thrifty Scots are in direct response to Adam Smith's "Wealth of Nations",1776
>
>The stereotype did not exist prior to publication of this treatise.
>
>Smith was right- and so of course he was damned for his trouble. So much so
>that "Scrooge McDuck" and such are cultural icons.
>
>
>I'm part Scot- and I don't give a damn WHAT anyone thinks. I'm part Irish,
>too- and I think that the joke about the wheelbarrow is funny. I guess
>I'm just secure in my heritage.
>
>'Shot


Bless you!

That makes two of us.  :)

(People who object to such things so strongly remind me of the jerks who are
re-naming a whole batch of American pioneer towns from things like "Poverty
Flats" to "Mira del Mar" (200 miles from the sea) because it doesn't sound
"nice" for the new developments they're pushing... The hell with history if
it doesn't all happen to be "nice", and Politically Correct"!  )-:<

What kind of people are we if we can't look our history in the eye, so to
speak, and take from it what we need and chuckle at the rest?

Suze

Give generously to the Society to Assist the Humor Impaired...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dwr@cci632.cci.com (Donald W. Rouse II)
Subject: Re: Left vs. Right
Organization: [Computer Consoles, Inc., Rochester, NY
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 1993 02:40:01 GMT

In article <1993Jan9.235258.3711@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> s9000289@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au (Cameron Hooper) writes:
>In article <1993Jan8.001625.1@jaguar.uofs.edu>, dfm2@jaguar.uofs.edu writes:

> [...]  Of course, if you
>can demonstrate the correctness of driving on the right, I will be
>most interested in comparing notes.

If you drive on the left hand side of the road in the USA,
a cop will give you a ticket.  There.  I guess I showed you.
If you protest that you are from England or some other
insignificant country, then all I can say is too bad.
Other countries don't count.
Only what happens in America is important.

					A true American,
					Donald Wallace Rouse II
From: dos@major.panix.com (Dave O'Shea)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Rudolf's nose is dimming
Date: 6 Jan 93 14:50:23 GMT
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department

santa@northpole.org writes:

> We have a crisis on our hands.  Rudolf's nose is slowly dimming!
> We require more hope in the world to light it back up!  Do what
> you can to assist.  Give money to the homeless, be nice to your
> mother, give an ex-girlfriend a kiss, whatever your heart will
> allow.

I've got as solution to two of the problems: Feed the homeless to the
hungry!