Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: (thickhead users) Re: Stupid Virus People
From: nunn@nutmeg.ntu.edu.au (JsNO  BAR---NUNN)
Date: 2 Sep 92 22:37:58 +0900
Distribution: world
Organization: Information Technology, Northern Territory University
Keywords: Unknown


In article <6053@pdxgate.UUCP>, richv@rigel.cs.pdx.edu (RichardD Vanderwal) writes:
.
.
. 
> I still remember the greedy looks on the faces of the people where I work:
> "Do you think we have that virus they mentioned on the news?  Cool!"

  It's not so cool when a virus plot's a mandel-brot set on the FAT track
  of a disk that contains the annual ACC's/Payable :) (being PC specific)

> 
> Now, when anything goes wrong with any of the office machines here, people
> get all exited and talk about viruses (viri?) as if a circus is coming to
> town.

  What is it with some stooooooooooppppid users that think getting a virus
is some hot shit thing. When I was doing this major project in COBOL (yuck!)
last year on a Vaxon, I was coding in this very small common room that stunk
of flaming coffee (I became a tea drinker because of that bad experence). I was
in that room from Monday to Tuesday for 5 weeks. Every day these people used
to come in at round about 10 to 11am. These people were...how do you say...
cocky know-it-all novices. All they used to talk about was Dbase, WP, Lotus,
PC's and viruses.
  In that little room I had a triple whammy. Not only did it have this STOOPP
COBOL project to do and the coffee smell that shortened my temper, but I
also had to listen to these thick heads that knew nothing. What annoyed me
the most was their discussions on viruses. Any talked about such things as
catching viruses by putting disks next to each other (via magnetic fields
inprinting another disk), viruses that have super intelligence and about
viruses attacking NASA computers that would set off bombs that would blow the
shit out of Russia etc. The thing is though, is that that would talk about it
all the time...they would just iterate and reiterate and reiterate the
same subject over and over and bloody over a again.

  After about a week I couldn't take it. I dreaded going in to uni and going
my project about of those people. I had to think of away to get rid of them.
I had a plan....

  The plan was that I would save all my printing for when they come in. I
removed the noise arrester from it so that the sound would be deafening. It
worked!. They would poorly attempt to talk over the printing...but they failed..
miserably :). This was fine until the printer blew up in week 4 of my project.
I then had to rely on a printer 1Km away from my terminal.

  By the 4th week I was depthly buried into the implemention of list processing
concepts and as any COBOL programmer will tell you is >>bloody tedious<<. I
had some serious bugs. This people then started there usual, by coming into
the room, firing up the coffee machine while dribbling shit. The tension built
up and up. Three days later I couldn't take it any longer. 4 Weeks of flamey
tension finally relased from within me. As they were standing
their dribbling about the #1 hot topic: Dbase 4 for the 1,000,011 time,
I got up walked up the the wall and punched it as hard as a could. I then walked
out of the room, and as I did this I shouted:

  "GET OFF THE F*KING DRUGS AND GET A GRIP ON LIFE YOU STUPID MORONS!!!!"

  I'm the type of person thats polite amongst and well mannered round my olders
(they are in their 40's - 50's),but that day, I really didn't give a shit. In
fact it did me a world of good.

> 
> Boy, it's hard not to sound flamey when you're talking about stupid things.
> 
> 							---->Rich
> 
   Tell me about it :(.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  GET SET TAX DODGERS (and perspective COBOL freaks)...it's JsNO BAR----NUNN
                                  DARWIN, NT
   Physican's on the side of compiler boxes say that COBOL reduces your
 fitness. Sociologist's will tell you that it's responsible for 22% of public
 service deaths. Historians will tell you that it caused the fall of the
 British Empire. Politicians will tell you that it creates negative growth
 in the economy and Acid addicts will tell you that COBOL gives you a bad trip.
   Did you know that Managers have caught programmers peeing
 on their disk packs when there COBOL program's didn't work. So here's some
 advice from a COBOL programmer:
 Man is not a SELECT INPUT-FILE ASSIGN TO "INPUT.TXT": Stay away from COBOL!.
                          nunn@pandanus.cs.ntu.edu.au
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