From: wing@pegasus.com (Wing Ng)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.hongkong
Subject: Re: Acts of love was Re: MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER!!!!
Date: 6 Oct 92 02:38:39 GMT
Article-I.D.: pegasus.1992Oct6.023839.23222
Organization: Pegasus,  Honolulu


 <@adelphi-msc.army.mil:chang@assb01> writes: [about Peter]
>         Basically,  you  made a mistake (tellng her you loved her
> so early-- I guess it was unsolicited),  and it is unlikely  that
> you will be able to patch things up.
 
I don't think it was a mistake.  If she does not love you, it is
better to find out early.  Two weeks is already plenty of time for
her to form an impression.
 
>         From what I've gathered,you really scared her.  Maybe she
> liked you too,  but "I love you" is a rather serious thing to say
> to  some  people.   Some people say it and hear it all  the  time
> without thinking much of it,  to others it is the be all end all.
> So,  quite possible she was scared.   She probably thought, "Gee,
> Peter  is really serious about me.." or something quite  similar.
> Now,  she is probably a nice girl, so she didn't want to lead you
> on or have you like her more than "as a friend".
 
Why are there such girls around raised in cosmopolitcan HK, in the
1990's ?
 
They surely watched HK TV.
 
>         The  solution to this kind of dilemna is OFTEN manifested
> as one of the following behaviors :
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------
>         1) "make him not like me so he won't be hurt",
>         2) "ignore him and maybe he'll get the hint or go away or
> not like me anymore",
>         3) "RUN!!!!".
> -----------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
>         These behaviors are all similar and to the person who  is
> being  ignored,  they come off to be the same thing  ---- "Person
> who used to be nice to me is totally blowing me off, and I DIDN'T
> DO ANYTHING WRONG...."
>
>         Needless to say,  the person being ignored typically gets
> quite upset.  I know you're no stranger to this phenomenon.
 
Maybe she likes you but not love you.  It still is no excuse for
her to treat you cruel.  Maybe it is is Chinese cultural trait, or
maybe it is a genetic female problem ... .  If she decides to act
conceited, mean and insensitive, maybe it is her character flaw.
 
>         Unfortunately, the damage to the relationship is probably
> permanent.   It has been an escalation of bad feelings.  You feel
> bad,  she  feels  worse,  you  feel  even worse  because  she  is
> uncomfortable..
 
Quite true.  Taken as whole, Fo has done a very good analysis.
 
>         I  can tell how your heart must ache,  but let me try and
> explain  things in a coherent way (as typically only  people  not
> involved  can).   This turned out to quite long,  but it is  very
> detailed and I hope I can help soothe your feelings.  It may seem
> harsh  at times,  but please don't take it that  way.   Sometimes
> what happens and what you want to happen don't mesh.
 
Sigh, can't have everything in life.  There is this almost classic
in which Kwan Jing-Kit ~{9XU}=\~} sings: "Why are there always
obstacles in this world's true love? ...  When love is brutally
interrupted, the pain is too much to convey in words."  Ancient
problem, has been plaguing humans for least several thousand years,
and been the source of the most moving of literary works.
 
Wing
Newsgroups: soc.culture.hongkong