From: yanoff@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Scott A. Yanoff)
Subject: How to Make Atom Bomb
Originator: yanoff@csd4.csd.uwm.edu
Organization: University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee, WI
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 14:34:25 GMT


                        How To Make an Atomic Bomb

The pro-
ject will cost
between $5,000 and $30,000
dollars, depending on how
fancy you want the final product
to be.  Since last week's
column,  "Let's Make a
TimeMachine", was received so
well in the new step-by-step
format, this month's column
will follow the same format.

2.  CONSTRUCTION METHOD

1.  First, obtain about 50
pounds (110 kg) of weapons
grade Plutonium at your local
supplier (see NOTE 1).  A
nuclear power plant is
recommended, as large
quantities of missing Plutonium
tends to make people
unhappy.  We suggest that you
contact your local terrorist
organization, or perhaps the
Junior Achievement in your
neighborhood.

2.   Please remember that
Plutonium, especially pure,
refined Plutonium, is somewhat
dangerous.  Wash your hands
with soap and warm water after
handling the material,  and
don't allow your children or
pets to play in it or eat it. 
Any left over Plutonium dust is
excellent as an insect
repellent.  You may wish to
keep the substance in a lead
box if you can find one in your
local junk yard, but an old
coffee can will do nicely.

3.  Fashion together a metal
enclosure to house the device. 
Most common varieties of sheet
metal can be bent to disguise
this enclosure as, for example,
a briefcase or a
Buick.  Do not use tinfoil.

4.   Arrange the Plutonium into
two hemispherical shapes,
separated by about 4 cm. 
Use rubber cement to hold the
Plutonium dust together. 
Gelignite is much better,
but messier to work with.  Your
helpful hardware man will be
happy to provide you with this
item.

6.  Pack the TNT around the
hemisphere arrangement
constructed in  step  4.  If
you cannot find Gelignite, feel
free to use TNT packed in with
Playdo or any modeling clay. 
Colored clay is acceptable, but
there is no need to get fancy
at this point.

7.   Enclose the structure from
step 6 into the enclosure made
in step 3.  Use a strong glue
such as "Crazy Glue" to bind
the hemispherical arrangement
against the enclosure to
prevent accidental detonation
which might result from
vibration or mishandling.

8.   To detonate the device,
obtain a radio controlled (RC)
servo mechanism, as found in
RC model airplanes and cars. 
With a minimum of effort, a
remote plunger can be made that
will strike a detonator cap to
effect a small explosion. 
These detonator caps can be
found in the electrical supply
section of your local
supermarket.  We recommend the
"Blast-O-Mactic" brand because
they are no deposit-no return.

9.   Now hide the completed
device from the neighbors and
children.  The garage is not
recommended because of high
humidity and the extreme range
of temperatures experienced
there.  Nuclear devices have
been known to spontaneously
detonate in these unstable
conditions.
Under the kitchen sink will be
perfectly suitable.

10.   Now you are the proud
owner of your own
thermonuclear device!  It is a
great ice-breaker at parties,
and in a pinch, can be used for
national defense.

3.  THEORY OF OPERATION

     The device basically works
when the detonated TNT
compresses the Plutonium  into a
critical mass.  The critical
mass then produces a nuclear
chain reaction similar to the
domino chain reaction
(discussed in this column,
"Dominos on the  March" March,
1968).  The chain reaction then
promptly produces a big
thermonuclear  reaction. 
And there you have it, a 10
megaton explosion!

4.  NEXT MONTH'S COLUMN

     In next month's column, we
will learn how to clone your
neighbor's wife in six easy
steps.  This project promises
to be an exciting weekend full
of fun and profit. Common
kitchen utensils will be all
you need.  See you next month!

5.  NOTES

1.  Plutonium (PU), atomic
number 94, is a radioactive
metallic element that you should not eat, drink,
or have sex with.....
-- 
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