HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rone@aludra.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: please continue
Date: 7 Sep 1992 22:07:58 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu

aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Alfvaen) writes:
 osa@orville.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
  Ron Echeverri <rone@aludra.usc.edu> writes:
   andsol@owlnet.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg) writes:
    aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Alfvaen) writes:
     osa@orville.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
      Alfvaen <aaron@space.ualberta.ca> writes:
       adam@castle.ed.ac.uk (Adam Hamilton) writes:
        eepmatt@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Matthew Friedman) writes:
         rone@aludra.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri) writes:
          nj writes:
He plunged his hands into the vat of teeming lice, then poured them over his
mother, making sure to cover her well.  "Ok, Mum, when you're ready, make sure
to put the hat on." He ignited the butane torch and slowly approached the
terrapin tank.  Carefully opening the lid at arms length he pushed the flame
back into the torch with his right hand while his left hand was grabbing the
small furry animal, which stood silent all the while, but which started to
swing its tails around frantically while he positioned it in front of the torch
and unbuttoned his overalls.  The grebe winced, for Elmer's sheer size was
beyond big and bordering disgusting. "Hey rube, ever considered a diet?"  Elmer
asked himself.  Which was kinda stupid, considering the fact that his mother
was right there, albeit covered with teeming lice, and she had never held back
any money from him. "Mum, why'd you name me Elmer? It's so stultifying." "Now,
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: borud@solan.unit.no (Bj|rn Borud)
Subject: Re: HARM
Organization: Norwegian Institue of Technology
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 92 16:41:07 GMT

In article <BuBFuy.F89@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, ata@sage.cc.purdue.edu (ata boy) writes:
 > Over the summer a friend showed me around one of the TI plants 
 > near Dallas where the High-speed Anti-Radar Missle (HARM) is 
 > being built.  A couple of those on top of my car and I'll never 
 > get another speeding ticket in my life.
 > 
 > ata boy

Hey, order one for me while you`re at it. =:)

borud@solan.unit.no
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:29254 rec.humor:28093
From: psg+@pitt.edu (Paul S Galvanek)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor
Subject: Re: Civil Servants
Date: 8 Sep 92 16:46:29 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

In article <1992Sep8.131253.25202@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>
>>>I always thought that a civil servant is someone who gets paid to do no work
>>>and can't lose his job.  
>>
>
>Well, this is a MYTH. First off, I do work. Why, just today I had to spend
>FIFTEEN MINUTES gathering fine money before I could log on to usenet.
>FIFTEEN MINUTES! And they say I do no work.....


Yo buddy!  I hope you got a break in there some where.  I mean fifteen 
minutes, you friggin work animal you shouda had a least seven minutes
in there somewhere.  If not we needs to hook youz up wit a good union ,
ifin you ain't already in one.  We gotta put an end to these god damn
slave drivin bosses.

Union bruddas to the end, YO!

Rocky
From: mha1@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL H. ALAIMO)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: clues for newbies
Date: 5 Sep 92 16:07:44 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

>Clue #8:  Flaming is when you put somebody down.  Think of all the
>          expletives you can, string them all together, and form them
>          into the worst insult you can.  Then post it.  We love to
>          see flames.  A well-crafted flame is a thing of beauty. A
>          wonder to behold.  Share it with the world.

AND DON'T FORGET THOSE CAPITAL LETTERS!!
-- 


: MIKE ALAIMO        :    ************************
: Brain Surgeon      :    *       BUSH-FREE      *
: Rocket Scientist & :    *        IN '93        *
: General Neophyte   :    ************************
                        "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: Misogynist
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 02:35:28 GMT

In <Bu89HF.1xB@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> ata@sage.cc.purdue.edu (ata boy) writes:
>The other day I looked up the word "racist" in Websters out
>of curiosity.  Webster defines it as one who believes in or practices
>racial discrimination, segregation, persecution, and domination, based on
>racialism.  Based on how it is used on the net I had assumed that it 
>meant "one who disagrees with the abolitionists' agenda."

Well, OK, so he didn't quite write that.  He doesn't know how to correctly use
an apostrophe, for example.

Well, Duh[*], it seems that your discovery that talk.bizarre is filled with
intelligent and literate people who don't share your Medieval viewpoint on the
status of women has gotten your wee-wee all knotted, and apparently you've
decided to go on a one-"person" (and I use that word oh-so-loosely) crusade
to turn talk.bizarre into talk.abortion.back-in-the-kitchen.annex.  While this
tends to conjure up delightful images of cron jobs mailing hourly uuencodes of
SPICE coredumps, it looks instead like people have decided to ridicule you in
public; after all, ridicule is one of the Three Pillars of Talk.Bizarre.  So,
if you are going to insist on hanging yourself up down at the boxing ring,
you gotta expect to get used as a punching bag.  You ought to be used to it
by now, Duh.

[*] For those joining the Talk Dot Bizarre Show late, "ata boy"'s real name
is Duh Dudson.
From: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Birthright Party '92 feeler
Date: 8 Sep 92 23:57:01 GMT
Organization: Computing Something Division

In article <pjla22g@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com writes:
>I'm so sorry for taking this seriously.  But here I go.
>I suggest the following changes in Kent's platform:
>1. A flat tax is regressive.  Rethink this.
>2. Legalize all drugs.  Yank all gov't subsidies for
>   drug manufacturers (like tobacco companies).  Tax 'em.
Hell. Yank gov't subsidies for most any products.  Figure most of the food
and dairy production corporations are huge conglomerate arms of fascist
multinationals that exploit their worker drone farmers and help with
Caterpillar price fixing. Yeah.

>3. Put the army to work building highways, bridges, and
>   mass transit, teaching in schools, and caring for the
>   nat'l forests.  Infrastructure, infrastructure!
Even better, give real people those jobs. I don't want someone who was
willing to kill other people because he was told to 'sic em to take care of
kids or plants. And i don't want him/her operating heavy machinery.

>4. Support an equal rights amendment, one that mentions
>   sex & sexual orientation.

For that matter, help people who are pro-choice to have a choice, not just
dead-end welfare and poverty vs. abortion. Support child care programs (more
jobs!) job training programs and parental support programs throughout
communities.

>5. Make nude male jello wrestling a mandatory manhood ritual.


<snort.> My Son Bryant, who is NOT a small town in Texas, is a man.
What would oedipus say.


Then again, i think home ec should be mandatory for the boys and shop or
automotives should be required for girls.


but hey, what do i know. haven't shaved since '88.
-- 
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.   \  (414)CRUSH-13
T. Flynn's Casa de Interesting: 1755 N Cambridge Ave #306 Milwaukee WI 53202    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: patten@lumchan.ifa.hawaii.edu (Brian Michael Patten)
Subject: Re: short sharp shock
Organization: Institute for Astronomy, Univ. of Hawaii
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 05:20:28 GMT

In article cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
|> ---
|> People have been calling me this morning to check that I'm 
|> still alive.   Apparently this weekend a techwriter, graduate 
|> of UC Berkeley, was discovered strangled in her Honda on a 
|> road next to SGI.  The superficial similarities to me are 
|> very strong.
|> 
|> I am, however, still alive.  I spent this weekend setting up
|> a fishtank and washing my cats.  Prosaic, but I am alive 
|> while someone else is not.  
|> 
|> ---
|> c j silverio
|> and mark twain


  When I read this the first thing I thought of was the movie 
_The Terminator_.

  It was just a thought though.  No need to panic.  Really.


------------------------


Brian
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: DATE CALCS (mon - sun)
From: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)
Organization: The Man With Ten Cats
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 04:51:27 GMT
Reply-To: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)

In article <18juojINNcbk@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka) writes:
>
>In a previous article, reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk () says:
>
>>This is going to have to stop.
>
>What about Mutlu?


What?  He's doing date calcs now?

I heard he'd given up the net, and was traveling door to door selling
Turkish Taffy.

-- 

Rick Kelly	rmk@rmkhome.UUCP	unixland!rmkhome!rmk	rmk@frog.UUCP
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: WHOS THE BIGGER NAZI?
From: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)
Organization: The Man With Ten Cats
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 04:18:56 GMT
Reply-To: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)

In article <1992Sep3.193638.10349@athena.mit.edu> dmatic@athena.mit.edu (Davor Matic) writes:
>In article <!-lncsk.rdc@netcom.com>, rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy) writes:
>|> HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL:
>|> 
>|> DURING WWII, THE CROATIANS WERE THE NAZI LOVERS, ONLY TOO HAPPY TO
>|> HELP THE NAZI'S AND KILL SERBS.  TODAY, THE SERBIANS ARE ACTING LIKE
>|> THE NAZI'S KILLING THE CROATIANS.
>|> 
>|> QUESTIONS:
>|> 
>|> WHO'RE THE BIGGER NAZIS, SERBIAN OR CROATIANS?  HOW MANY ARE IN FAVOR
>|> OF DROPPING TWO NUCLEAR BOMBS ON YUGOSLAVIA, REMOVING THE SERBIAN AND
>|> CROATIAN SCUM, AND DESTROYING THOSE GOD AWEFUL YUGO'S TO BOOT.
>
>I think we should drop you in the middle of old Yugo right now
>with a birth certificate saying that your mother is Croatian and 
>your father is Serbian.  Then you'd probably need two pocket 
>nuclear bombs to defend yourself if going gets tough...


Old Yugo.  Wasn't that a movie about a dog?

-- 

Rick Kelly	rmk@rmkhome.UUCP	unixland!rmkhome!rmk	rmk@frog.UUCP
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:29742 rec.humor:28390 rec.arts.startrek.current:12946 alt.jubjub:17
From: jwlr@okeeffe.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor,rec.arts.startrek.current,alt.jubjub
Subject: Re: STAR TREK PRANKS
Date: 11 Sep 92 19:24:37 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

In <1992Sep11.155102.27393@hobbes.kzoo.edu> tweaver@hobbes.kzoo.edu (Tim Weaver) writes:

>>Come on now, don't mock us about! There are none because if they did
>>try to push some five-armed, one-eyed, furry creature on us, we would laugh.
>>Remember the old series? Nowadays we would gauck at that trick.

>Aren't you forgetting about the exxon monster and the crystaline entity?
>I know there are other examples.  What about the life form that was turning
>vital ship components into sludge?  If your going to make an exception for
>tribbles, I'm assuming the old trek is fair game.  There's the Horta, the
>mist creature that Kirk chased half way across the Galaxy, the Medusa,
>the creature that fed off of hate and anger.  These are off of the top of
>my head, I know there are others, you're just not looking.

Yes, but when are they going to run into a super-intelligent shade of blue?
I-)	I-)

			James Willer
{the opinions above are probably NOT those of
 anyone at all}
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Master of the InfoMercial
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 04:27:17 GMT

aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey) writes:
: I'd just like to point out that I had a Trivial Pursuit question today
: to which the answer was "Ronco".  Luckily my familiarity with the Weird Al
: song "Mr. Popeil" allowed me to figure out the answer.
: 
: (Yes, it's just another coincidence dammit!  I always feel compelled to point
: out the mappings between my life and talk.bizarre...)

I also feel compelled to point out that after the Suzanne Vega album mentioned
below is over, I'll be listening to the Weird Al album with "Mr. Popeil" on it.

This would have worked out a bit better if I'd listened to a couple more tapes
sometime this week...

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"You better hope and pray that you're gonna awake
 Back in your own world..."  ---Shakespear's Sister
Current Album--Suzanne Vega:Days of Open Hand
Current Read--Robert Heinlein:The Past Through Tomorrow
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: CARASSO need an account
Date: 14 Sep 92 13:46:22 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania
In-reply-to: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu's message of 12 Sep 92 20:12:45 GMT

In article <1992Sep12.201245.12242@cs.ucla.edu> jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry) writes:
>	$100 Quatloos to the first person to provide CARASSO with an account 
>	 with access to net news.

You know, I could do this.  I've done it before.

I'll have to think carefully now.  And weigh the advantages on both sides.

$100 Quatloos?

OR

Not have to read another buch of brainless crossposts from
alt.fan.letterman and alt.politics bush?

Yes, I could do it.  

But I WON'T.

Burn in Hell, Roger.

--

                And for to se, and eek for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Arrrggh!
Date: 15 Sep 92 14:59:51 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton) writes:
|I think you should get a katana.  Or a wakizashi if your apartment
|is particularly small.

Once I had business dealings with a local wingnut like this once. He
walked into my house wearing some form of sword armament.

I asked him about it, and he began an incredibly boring story about
its history and function. Fortunately, I have forgotten all of this.

Then we sat down to do business. Because of the size of the weapon, he
took it out and carefully laid it on our couch, clear across the
house, then toddered back to the table to talk price.

At this point I knew I had offered too much money.

mr HEINOUS
In bridge, you should never bid more trump than you and your partner
are holding. 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: boutell@cshl.org (Tom Boutell)
Subject: TB: take my car, please
Summary: Lord, take this vehicle 
Keywords: LegitimateBasisForYouKnowWhat
Organization: Cold Spring Harbor Labs
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 19:11:26 GMT

BENIGN DICTATORSHIP OF BOUTELLIA
MINISTRY OF TRANSPORTATION

Re: 4 - wheeled albatross

Approximate costs report assuming extraNewYorkian voyages 1/mo:

Absurd bird:
------------

Expense			Per Month
---------------------------------
Gas      		$60
Tolls     		$10
Loan			$200
Insurance		$200 (single male 21 - year - old schmuck)
Maintenance		$25
Total			$495 *

*: fails to include eventual coronary from lack of exercise, arguments
over insurance claims, cost of inevitably being hit by drunken 18 - year - old

Bus:
----

Expense			Per Month
---------------------------------
Monthly Pass		$28
Newark, 1/2mos, train	~$40 (per mo)
Boots, Umbrellas	~$4 (amortized)
Rechargeable Batteries	~$2 (amortized)
Tapes more recent than
"Boi - Ngo"		~$5
Newspapers		$7
Total			$86 *

*: fails to include discount for lack of parking tickets, successful
existential reductionism, moral environmentalist smug self - satisfied 
triumph, benefits of walking to "King Kullen" for toilet paper

Results of shooting albatross:
-------------------------------
Net gain:		$409/mo

Anybody want to buy a '91 Toyota Tercel with a 4 1/2 - year loan on it?
It's blue and pretty and has a nifty CFC - laden air conditioner.

-- 
Tom Boutell, boutell@cshl.org

Clausthaler is the best non - alcoholic beer in the known universe.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: sean@stat.tamu.edu (Sean Barrett)
Subject: Re: Greetings from College Park, MD
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 02:20:12 GMT

kimy@cs.umd.edu (Yong-Mi Kim) writes:
>_The Diamondback_, the student rag, runs this ad from some place
>called University Wine & Spirits, which includes helpful directions
>on how to get there.

Keep an eye out for the classified ad from "Freddie"...

buzzard
From: klein@frith.egr.msu.edu (Jeffrey Klein)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Rutabaga and Stephie
Date: 13 Sep 92 15:47:23 GMT
Organization: Michigan State University College of Stunt Piloting

In article <8egfCmS00VAtN_3IAa@andrew.cmu.edu> Faisal Nameer Jawdat <fj05+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>Rutabaga wrote assembler to make his machine crash.
>Stephie had a marine boyfriend
>Rutabaga was happy - he could make his box go down.
>Stephie hangs out at frats

[yadda yadda yadda]

When I started reading this post, I autoomatically tried
singing it to "Ob-la-dee, Ob-la-dah".

Didn't work.

-- 
Jeff Klein             | "Happily, Ral doffs his outer clothing for a
Browsing Boy of the LNH|  refreshing dip in one of the dangerous 
klein@kira.egr.msu.edu |  chemical vats." - Ty Templeton 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Koschei the Deathless)
Subject: Re: Arrrggh!
Organization: The International House of Secretions
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 03:57:39 GMT

In article <1992Sep14.222545.24864@alembic.acs.com> gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte) writes:
*In article <1992Sep14.022341.27465@uwm.edu> grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Koschei the Deathless) writes:
*>Last night, I met a wonderful woman named Brenda.  She's gorgeous and
*>intellegent and more importantly, she's as weird as I am.
*[...]
*>Then I learned she has a boyfriend.  Fuck.
*
*i've been thinking about buying a shotgun lately,
*and i'll be needing target practice.  give me his
*address and i'll take care of him.

Oh my, I wish I could.  However, he wasn't there, she just mentioned him.
How, oh how could she tell me about the Japanese fighting fish she named
Jeffery Dahmer, and NOT expect me to fall for her.  She must have a sadistic
streak.  That's OK.

*and since i'm here, i'll solicit opinions; for
*home defense, should i get a pump action or a
*semi-auto?

Pump action.  Much more dramatic when they see you in the doorway .09 seconds
before the buckshot flies.


Mark "Kill kill kill" Lippert 
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:29541 alt.config:5647 rec.humor:28240
From: rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.config,rec.humor
Subject: Re: STOP this Crap/bush
Date: 10 Sep 92 12:21:33 +0200
Organization: University of Cape Town

In article <HH1iqB16w165w@mantis.co.uk>, mathew@mantis.co.uk (mathew) writes:
> act@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops) writes:
>> rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za writes:
>> >> alt.politics.bush	love bush
>> >Whose bush?
>> A Bush in the hand is likely to upset her husband, thats who.
> 
> One in Kate Bush is worth two in the hand.
> 
That's Kate's Bush, surely?
              ^^^^
 _________________________________________________________________________
|                                 |                                       |
|  Ed Rybicki                     |    Now you've got the hang of it      |
|  Dept Microbiology              | There's nothing you can't do with it  |
|  University of Cape Town        |         If you're very into it        |
|  PB Rondebosch 7700             |         You can't go wrong....        |
|  South Africa                   |                                       |
|  fax 27 21 650 4023             |              - Mad John               |
|  ed@micro.uct.ac.za             | (Ogden's Nut-Gone Flake, Small Faces) |
|_________________________________|_______________________________________|
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1992 10:48:53 GMT
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00 beta rel2

In article <BuAG6p.13F@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM>, John F. Woods writes:

> After following up an article by Gooley, I discovered that "ata boy" and
> "Cyclops" had also followed it up.
> 
> I had no choice but to kill my article.  Thank goodness I had a different
> reply, otherwise I'd have had to kill myself, too.

There is this theory that states that this has already happened
...

Dac
--
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry)
Subject: CARASSO need an account
Originator: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu
Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 92 20:12:45 GMT


   Well, that semi-annual event we all so look forward to has happened again.
CARASSO lost another netnews account.  Be sure to send your sympathy messages
to carasso@inference.com.   Also, I was asked to pass on Roger's message:


     $100 Quatloos to the first person to provide CARASSO with an account 
      with access to net news.


hugs,
John

-- 
v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-
    "Reality is a sandwich that I did not order."
			       Zippy the Pinhead (for president)
^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor,rec.arts.startrek.current,alt.jubjub
From: mcbride@owlnet.rice.edu (Doug McBride)
Subject: Re: STAR TREK PRANKS
Organization: Rice University
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 15:42:43 GMT

In article <Btvx0G.GLJ@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, chenault@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Bill Chenault) writes:
>
> 	But these jokes would appear as if they would work for the first
> 45 minutes of the show (plus ten minutes of commercials).  It would take
> that long for one of the main characters to read the script, suddenly
> recall that there was a "ST mischievious-activity detector" on board, 
> suggest to the captain that it be engaged, and that brief, poignant pause
> before Piccard (sp?) says "Make it so," and everybody has to drink again.
> 
...
> Bill

Congrats to Bill for summing up every other STTNG episode!  Very funny.

---------------------------------------------------------------
"Look for my corpse in the color supplement!" -- Andy Partridge

Doug McBride			        mcbride@owlnet.rice.edu
---------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre