From: rwalton@tehmi.next.com (Robert Walton)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.advocacy
Subject: A Guide to Gamer Species
Date: 15 Sep 92 23:47:58 GMT

This is a cross posting from rec.games.board, for your enjoyment, at the  
tail end of a thread on "Hostility towards certain game(r)s"...

--------

Walton's Gaming Law:  Your enjoyment and comfort as a gamer is directly  
proportional to the amount of affiliation you are able to achieve with the  
people you play with [including the GM].  Corollary:  In RPGs, a great GM  
is a necessary, though not sufficient, condition for an enjoyable time.

As in society at large, gamers tend to form groups around their  
affiliations and become territorial and defensive when forced to interact  
with those of a different affiliation (particularly at conventions).

For those of you unfamiliar with the types of gamers out there, here is a  
short list of the major "species" or affiliations I've encountered over  
the past 18 years:

Droolers:  hard core RPGers (and some other gamers, though a  
disproportionate number appear to be RPGers) who are painfully thin or  
grossly obese, fish-belly pale, hygiene-impaired, gracelessly attired  
(insisting upon hats, uniform pieces, or tacky tee-shirts), goateed (badge  
of the drooler) and pitifully out of touch with reality.  Often affiliated  
with the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA), and the chronically  
un(der)employed.  First appearing in numbers in the mid to late 70s, they  
have defied the onslaught of time [and good taste] to propagate at  
conventions, and maintain the same basic appearance throughout their  
useful gaming life, which [alas] seems indefinite.

Munchkins, Tiny-Tots:  Grade school to High School RPGers (do they ever  
play anything else?) who are having the kind of unencumbered fun the rest  
of us wish we could have.  Some are really quite smart -- all are  
obnoxiously precocious, having lost any fear and respect of there  
enfeebled elders through trashing their characters or saving them from  
demise at the hand of the ref/ump.  Only respect you for how many levels  
you have achieved or how many hit points you can take.  Easily dealt with  
by getting them to fight amongst each other in comparisons between  
monsters or super heroes regarding who is better than who or could whop  
whom (endless drivel will follow and you can return to playing the game).   
Related species at this larval stage -- Micro-nerds.  Many evolve into  
Droolers, though some may become Lead Pushers, Compu-gamers, or even  
Bored-gamers.

Lead Pushers:  hard core military history buffs who are often smug,  
arrogant, defensive, and not much more in touch with reality than RPGers  
(no, Battletech doesn't count...) who tend to lump all RPGers as droolers  
[actually, they think pretty much everyone else is a drooler...] through  
'guilt by gaming association'.  Like Tiny-Tots, they can be easily  
distracted.  Challenging their sacred knowledge, such as the penetration  
of 88mm German AT guns, or trashing their arcane wisdom regarding some  
obscure (and probably fictional) aspect of Ney's cavalry charge at  
Waterloo will set them to chest whomping and eventually to whimpering in a  
sullen depression.  Some borderline Lead pushers may be 'out' about their  
RPG habit and also be cross-over droolers.  Related species --  
Bored-gamers.

Micro-nerds:  Little guys who play so many computer arcade games they  
often appear as if their Game-Boy or Lynx grows out of their forearm like  
an appendage.  No interest in anything that doesn't have to do with  
computers, robots, comics or TV.  They'll undoubtedly require the instant  
gratification of Virtual Reality by the time they grow up.  Related  
species -- Tiny-Tots/Munchkins.  I'm not sure they ever grow up.

Bored-gamers:  Similar in many respects to Lead Pushers, the distinction  
is that Bored-gamers prefer more structure and rules than are feasible in  
miniatures games.  They insist that Lead Pushers argue too much about  
ambiguity while at the same time they are caterwalling to each other over  
shades of nuance and interpretation between rule 1.1.3.4 and 6.5.5.6 for  
each move.  ASL fanatics step to the front.

Compu-gamers:  These individuals are "socially-challenged".  Most want to  
do or be something they haven't the slightest hope of being, and don't  
like the interaction of other sentient creatures (or even droolers 8^)).   
Can't deal with losing to someone else (the computer will never tell) and  
are fascinated with gadgets and high-technology.  A dedicated few are  
simulation nuts, craving the thrill of flying or driving vicariously.   
These people can't wait for Virtual Reality, and will undoubtedly drive up  
VR access costs simulating an F-15 or Battletech Mech while the rest of us  
wait in line trying to run 'Cindy Crawford' VR programs when they're  
available.  Were probably a Micro-nerd, unless they're over 30 now...in  
which case there were no gaming computers when they were kids.

Miserable Outcasts:  This is a strain of anti-social malcreants that runs  
through all species.  These individuals are labeled as 'assholes' and  
'bastards'.  They cheat while accusing others of cheating, argue over  
everything that doesn't go their way, nit pick over rules (unless it's in  
their favor not to), and are obnoxious winners and graceless  
losers both at games and in life.  Despised and only barely tolerated by  
all the major species, they generally combine the worst traits of each.

Know any other species?  Can you stereotype your friends?  Yourself?  Are  
you a 'breed?

8^)  For the humor impaired, no I'm not trying to blast anybody, but  
having a little fun on a long day...

Happy gaming, regardless of your species or gaming preference...