HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ahsiung@bbn.com (Anita Hsiung)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 16 Nov 92 18:46:58 GMT
Article-I.D.: news.lgfr52INN9a7
Reply-To: ahsiung@labs-n.bbn.com (Anita Hsiung)
Distribution: usa
Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman Inc., Cambridge MA
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com

In article <1992Nov15.153551.13462@bnlux1.bnl.gov> schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder) writes:
>In article <009639BA.741609A0@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>
>>I agree with everything John said, with one caveat:  I don't think it's a good
>>idea to be alone too long.  I know a awful lot of men and women who've done
>>such a fabulous job of adjusting to singlehood that they no longer date, simply
>>because it's too much trouble and they can't be bothered.  Literally.  I found
>>myself falling into the same trap;  so, I resolved to make more of an
>>effort to get out of the d*mn house!
>
>I like to make the effort too, but I start to wonder: what's the point
>of going out to the bars with friends all of the time ? (Not even good
>friends, mind you, but it's that "effort".)  You know you should go if
>they ask, otherwise you might not get asked anymore.  Too many refusals
>is usually a sign to people.

Hmm, I don't find being alone to be a "trap".  I think it's fantastic!
You can get together with friends whenever you want, you're not
accountable to anyone if you want to work late, or go shopping after
work, or go to the bookstore.  There's no conflict about spending time
with your family, no one to fight over TV shows with, no one to bother
about money.  I have time to do all the things I want to do without
worrying about "quality time" I'd need to spend with an SO otherwise.
Hey, life is great!

	-- Anita --

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Anita Hsiung       | "See how easy life can be?" -- Johnathan Raven     |
| ahsiung@bbn.com    |                                                    |
| BBN Canoga Park    | "Someday we'll look back on this moment...and      |
| California, USA    |  run smack into the car in front of us."  -- Ski   |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: net.hugs? (apology)
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 04:34:25 GMT

Sorry for the stupid outburst, but this article was the proverbial straw that
broke the camel's back.  I've been having lots of problems, financially and
otherwise, that have to be resolved now.  And, yes, I can and do fly off the
handle sometimes, but quickly recover.  That's my biggest fault (IMHO).

I apologize again for the silly outburst and subsequent waste of bandwidth.

Sometimes you've just gotta scream.  I must remember not to post it, though.

:&)

-- 
Dreams are the only thing/That keep me aloft/Ephemeral, unreal and not likely
to ever happen/They are still the most beautiful things to me/In this dreary
, grey thing that we all call life./Is life a gift?/I think not/I see it as
a cruel joke/We were thrown out/Will we ever be worthy to get back in?
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: Famous Composer
Subject: what kind of flowers indeed
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 12:43:52 GMT
Organization: The University of Birmingham, United Kingdom

Flowers are all well and good but they wither and die, just like love
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: khoo@nyx.cs.du.edu (kokmun hoo)
Subject: Need advice.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix (sponsored by U. of Denver Math/CS dept.)
Disclaimer1: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University of
Disclaimer2: Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
Disclaimer3: control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 92 12:58:22 GMT

I have a situation here:

I am 23 yrs old and she is 3 yrs older. We first met during 
1989 Christmas. We then exchange letters for a while until
my sister found out. This girl 'Z' is also my sister's friend.
My sister told me that this Z is very desperate in looking for
a boyfriend and she is afraid that I might get hurt by Z. So
she asked me to stop it. I didn't!. I keep on writing to her
as a friend and I had written very clearly as to what I want 
out of this relationship,.... just friends. 

Last Christmas, I went home(Malaysia) and we went out in a group,
with my sis and friends. She tried to ignore me, I think it's because
Z know my sister knew about us and Z don't want to put me into
a awkward position. It's not just my sister's opinion about Z,
my sister's friends who are also Z's friends had the same impression
on her. Although I have not seen it with my own eyes, I am
pretty much convinced by them. I need some advice here before
I do anything else.

Should I keep corresponding/seeing Z despite all the advices?
Or should I do the above in secret (w/o my sis knowledge)?
Should I just ignore Z?

If you want to know my feeling towards Z, I have no intention
to have a relationship with Z but just friendship.

What should I do?

Please respond by stating your sex, so I know if it's a male
or female opinion. Ask me any questions if you need to know
something else. I am glad to give them out. I don't know what
else to put up here.

Thanks a lot.

Confused and need help.

Please write to this email address:
hkz38257@vax1.utulsa.edu
khoo@nyx.cs.du.edu <- my temp email address.(to write netnews)

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: First date on Friday the 13th
Organization: Clark University
Date: 16 NOV 92 00:00:46 GMT

Ok, I had a first date on Friday the 13th.  Is this a good thing?

/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
|  \  /                                                              \  /  |
|  /  \               From the Desk and Mind of Mitch                /  \  |
|   /\                                                                /\   |
|  \  /                   MCohen@Vax.Clarku.Edu                      \  /  |
|   \/                                                                \/   |
|            Any opinions expressed are clearly someone else's!            |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Date: 20 Nov 1992 13:45:53 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.41

In article <20NOV92.00324238@vax.clarku.edu> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>In a previous article, ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen) wrote:
>>well folks, since we are on this topic...what are some common
>>flirting actions that some of you use? i'm curious
>> 
> [Stuff deleted]
>Smile a lot.  And what I've found very important - touch, touch, touch.  
                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Do *not* do this in the UK or else we will kill you. Yeurgh. :-)

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: A book
From: <NIEDFELD@MIAMIU.BITNET>
Date: Sunday, 22 Nov 1992 20:12:16 EST
Organization: Miami University - Academic Computer Service

In article <4284@bcstec.ca.boeing.com>, pierceha@bcstec.ca.boeing.com (Heather
Pierce) says:
>
>   I've been reading some of the posts and a lot of them reflect the confusion
>   that appears when one sex is attracted to another (for all I know, it could
>   be true in same-sex attraction too).  Anyhow, I have found a book that
>   discusses romance yet is not a how-to manual.  It does a lot of explanation
>   yet it is very supportive.  I have distributed this book or its title and
>   so far, none of the people (all of whom bought it) have been dissappointed.
>   Of course, this is a larger audience...
>   Anyhow, I am willing to recommend this book and take whatever flack the
>   recommendation generates.  It is called 'A Fine Romance'.  I is found
>   all over and locally here at the U of W bookstore.  I hope that if you
>   get to read it that you enjoy it (unless of course, you'd rather not
>   enjoy it) and feel as comfited by its information as I am.
>
>   Heather
 
I have had this book for a long time along with a few hundred similar to
it. I believe this is one of the better ones. If I remember right it
discusses some of the ups and downs of relationships. It talks about
when a couples relationship goes from being perfect with good communication
to a one where one or both partners distance themselves from the other.
I found it very informative. It is by Judith Sills Ph.D.  I think you can
still get the book through mailorder (cheap) if you can't find it in stores.
 
I have a favorite discount book company that I deal with. They have lots
of social science books as well as other types of books real cheap. You can
e-mail me if you want the address for a catalog. They don't list a ph #.
If you want, I can email you my list of social science books. Many have
come from this book company. I always advocate reading these types of books
so you know what to expect in a relationship or marrage. I dislike the term
'self help' books because that implies that anyone who reads them has some
sort of problem. I like to think of it as studying and preparing for
social happiness. I would like to see educators make these types of
books mandatory reading in grades 1-12. IMHO there is not enough
training in schools dealing with dating, relationships, marrage, child
raising, etc....
 
John Niedfeldt
Miami University
Oxford, Oh
niedfeld@miamiu.acs.muohio.edu
From: kath@pico.dr.att.com (54626-LeeK(DR1971)210)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Two hearts can meet....................
Date: 19 Nov 92 16:37:41 GMT

In article <BxytvC.CxE@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen) writes:
|> 
|> 	Recently it's been said that "Romance is fiction" and I want to label that as 
|> the myth it is. But there is no denying the fact that romance is a gentler 
|> meeting of two hearts and that such a joining generally doesn't take place in 
|> high intensity situations or crowds. Romance must be given a chance, and that 
|> chance will come in situations such as: sitting in the grass on the quad at UI 
|> and talking until 3 am (this happened to us in '47, but no one would do it 
|> today because we'd both probably get beat up and she might get raped); take a 
|> long walk in the woods holding hands ( Naveena Michael mentioned this in her 
|> post ); walking along a beach on a moonlight night (this has great appeal to me 
|> because in Illinois beaches are rare); a picnic for 2 in the park; a long 
|> telephone call or an internet chat (I've never done this but I know two hearts 
|> can touch when far apart); or maybe a canoe ride for two down a river or along 
|> a lake front.
|>         These are some ideas; there are hundreds more. Just remember that 
|> romance thrives in gentler places, not at a cocktail party with 40 people 
|> present. And bars are the absolute worst; whiskey breath will chill the most 
|> ardent heart.
|>         I know these things because I've loved my wife for 45 years and 
|> experienced many of them and wish to experience the others. Romance does not 
|> die when you're 70. Sex is for the moment, but love is for life.
|> 
|> John Fippen   married 43 years and still love my wife.
|>                                 email       fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu


	THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
		kath
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: maci9154@mach1.wlu.ca (macivor dawna)
Subject: Invitations
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 18:58:19 GMT

There's a formal coming up after Christmas (in February), and I'm looking
for an interesting way to invite a guy I know.  Any ideas?

Thanks in advance!


=) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug*
*   Life is too short not to share your hugs and smiles!              *
*      Keep smiling! =)                                               *
*   Dawna MacIvor  Waterloo, Ontario, Canada                          *
*   maci9154@mach1.wlu.ca                                             *
=) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug* =) *hug* (= *hug*
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Sappy stuff.
From: mistry@splinter.coe.northeastern.edu (The Destroyer)
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 14:58:10 GMT
Distribution: alt.romance
Organization: College of Engineering, Northeastern University

hello everyone out there in net land.... 
I was wondering if any of you out there have any cool pictures, ie
hearts, flowers, and stuff like that ... that a guy could mail to his
gf...  i have a girlfriend who mails me about every day on the net and
this is the easiest way to chat.... and for an interesting change i am
thinking about including cute or sappy pictures in with my text...
just for fun....... 

So.. if any of you have any pictures at all.. please mail them to me..
:)... anything at all... weather it's extremely stupid. or extremely
sappy.. the more the merrier.... :) 

thanx..... 
--
N   N IIIII CCCCC K  K     M   M IIIII SSSSS TTTTT RRRRR Y   Y
NN  N   I   C     K K      MM MM   I   S       T   R   R Y   Y
N N N   I   C     KK       M M M   I   SSSSS   T   RRRRR  YYY
N  NN   I   C     K K      M   M   I       S   T   R  R    Y
N   N IIIII CCCCC K  K     M   M IIIII SSSSS   T   R   R   Y

	EMAIL: mistry@splinter.coe.northeastern.edu

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: Re: "Made" or "Just Happens"?-An Answer of sorts
Reply-To: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 15:50:00 GMT

In article <1992Nov20.154724.12183@bsu-ucs>, 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.) writes:
>In article <BxvBr5.GD0@acsu.buffalo.edu>, v119qkv2@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (POE) writes:
>> 
>> Does it just happen or do you have to make it happen?  etc.

C'mon gang, how do you *make* someone fall in love with you?
As far as I know, it can't be done.  Sad but true.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: diana@wetware.com (CatWoman )
Subject: Re: wish me luck
Organization: Castle WetWare MouseCatcher
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 00:27:27 GMT

weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:

] chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy Horwitz) writes:
] >Hi,
{going to send an anonymous invitation for dinner}

] Hi, Cathy.
] 
] That does sound romantic, but I do not think it is practical.  If that
] had happened to me when I was in college I would probably not
] shown up. Some people are more adventurous than others, of course. Some
] people want to know your whole life story before they will date you,
] others don't even need to know your name.

Agreed.

Michael's suggestions deleted.

Mine:

Find out what he IS interested in - does he play 
frisbee, music, go to the library?  If he's involvd
in any spectator-friendly activity, become a 
spectator - or become involved in the activity.

I did that with a person I wanted to know - I found
out he played frisbee - so I became a frisbee 
spectator.  Then I'd join in the crowd of folks
sitting around post-game, and go watch them at
the tourneys.  Wound up meeting TWO guys through
that...

Diana
From: u0b06@keele.ac.uk (JA Carty)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Two hearts can meet....................
Date: 23 Nov 92 17:51:01 GMT
Organization: Keele University, England
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]

I'll tell you my idea of romance....crashing concorde into the statue
of liberty.....and trailing " I LOVE YOU " behind it....
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: daniel@clsi.COM (Daniel Barclay)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: CAD Language Systems Inc.
	<DANIEL.92Nov18101233@algol.clsi.COM> <+9x10sb@rpi.edu>
Date: 19 Nov 92 12:05:56

> |> Keep those quotes:  A perfect world would support (in the "implement" sense)
> |> physical (not just verbal or mental) hugs!  Oops, I guess I'm showing part
> |> of my colors.  (Now where did that 'u' go?)
> 
>   Ok.  How about we impliment VR on the net? What do ya say? :&)

I doubt it would be the same.

--
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daniel S. Barclay			CAD Language Systems, Inc.
					Suite 101, 5457 Twin Knolls Rd.
Why can't _I_ think of a signature?	Columbia, MD  21045  USA
From: bushmanangel@bvc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: meeting Mr. Right
Date: 20 Nov 92 15:40:40 CDT
Organization: Buena Vista College, Storm Lake, IA

I've been seeing my lover since before last Easter.  We live over 1000 
miles apart, but I wanted to relate to you all the comedy of our 
involvement.  Perhaps there are others out there, too, with humorous 
stories of how they met . . .

We're on a small campus, so George and I vaguely knew each other.  We also 
had some mutual friends, but we never seemed to be interested in each 
other until one night he came into the library.  I had been studying but 
was very exhausted and had fallen asleep.  I woke up with the sensation 
that someone was watching me, and there was George!  He was laughing and 
said I looked so peaceful that he didn't want to wake me, but if I wasn't 
too tired, would I join him and a bunch of other cast members (in the 
spring musical) at the bar.  I said maybe, and that he could find me in my 
room or in the computer center after rehearsal.  So we went to the bar as 
casual acquaintences that night.  

Like I said, we casually knew each other, so George had asked me to help 
him out by posing for a photography project.  I said sure, I love to have 
my picture taken.  He said that for my help he'd buy me dinner sometime.  I 
said okay, and I want a ride on your motorcycle too.

So this had all happened over the course of a couple of weeks, with brief 
meetings in between when we just happen to be in the same place at the same 
time.  Meanwhile, a good friend of mine in the musical cast is telling me 
that George wants to go out with me.  I'm thinking "no way--I don't want to 
get involved."  I didn't really think I was attracted to him or wanted to 
even date him.

One Thursday, I'd had a really stressful week and an interview for my 
summer job (internship) early in the morning.  I'd been in a really hot 
suit all day and then went to a speech by an AIDS victim.  The auditorium 
was packed, and one of the few seats left was near George.  So I sat down 
and as the speaker spoke of his gory hospitalizations and treatments, I got 
queasy.  To make a long story short, I passed out.  George was really quite 
concerned so he took me outside to get some fresh air, got me something to 
drink and walked me back to my room.  We took a motorcycle ride to get more 
fresh air.

Friday, we took another ride because George wanted to make sure I was 
feeling better.  We ended up walking through a park and he told me that he 
was attracted to me.  I told him that I was attracted to him too, but that 
I couldn't believe I had just said that.  My unconscious mind must have 
totally taken over, because I hadn't really been attracted to him, despite 
the fact that he was generally good-looking.  He went to work, but we saw 
each other later that night in the bar and we danced. And we shared our 
first kiss.

Funny, I still think it was my fainting that really attracted him.


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: Michel Goudeseune <marcelg@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Re: Is it me?
Organization: ZOOiD BBS
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 04:24:06 GMT

weird@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (john.t.erhardt) writes:
>
>To my last post I just wanted to add something.  Christian teach that
>sex should only be used between maried couples and for making babies only.
>Well if sex was for making babies, it wouldn't feel so good!

Clarification: the Catholic Church says nothing about how you should feel/act
when having sex.  Likewise, your reasons are your own.  The only comment it 
makes is that there should *be a possibility* of conception.  Whether or not
conception takes place is immaterial.

Note that this is my understanding of the Church's position, and is not an
"official" statement.  

No flames, please.

Michel Goudeseune
marcelg@zooid.guild.org
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Subject: RE: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Reply-To: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 00:30:33 GMT


In a previous article, mcohen@vax.clarku.edu () says:

>In a previous article, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) wrote:
>>In article <20NOV92.00324238@vax.clarku.edu> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>>>In a previous article, ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen) wrote:
>>>>well folks, since we are on this topic...what are some common
>>>>flirting actions that some of you use? i'm curious
>>>> 
>>> [Stuff deleted]
>>>Smile a lot.  And what I've found very important - touch, touch, touch.  
>>                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>Do *not* do this in the UK or else we will kill you. Yeurgh. :-)
>> 
>Oh, how depressing!  You people take romance lessons from Chuck & Die? :-)

Mitch...don't listen to Stewart...He's just being bitter.... ;)
Trust me....my sweetie is English, and from day one he's been
a  "touch, touch, touch"  kinda guy......  

=D
-- 
We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds;
our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

                                           --- Goethe
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14092 soc.singles:30835
From: crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 16 Nov 92 17:12:19 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In article <009639BE.A2CB4B80@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:

>Question:  How long did you know your SO before they became your SO?
>
>Five minutes? or five years?  How many of y'all knew your SO, but the timing
>really didn't synch?  And what changed?

One and a half years.  More or less.  We were sort-of friends, then
friends, then romantic.  He liked me for about 6 months before I liked
him; I was ditzoid over someone else at the time, and _he_ liked my best
friend.  She, on the other hand, was seriously dating _another_ guy, whom
she later married.  It was one of the wackier chains I've ever been part
of.  Did I mention that there was a woman who liked my SO at that point,
too, while he liked me?  

Woman A liked man #1 (my current SO).
Man #1 liked me.
I liked Man #2.
Man #2 liked woman B.
Woman B liked man #3 (and later married him.

Yeah, I think timing is important.

-- 
The trick of reason is to get the imagination to seize the actual world --
if only from time to time.     -- Annie Dillard, "An American Childhood"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lauren Crawford  //  crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu