From: alpinist@eskimo.celestial.com (David Butler)
Subject: Re: Merry Christmas Ashers!
Organization: =>ESKIMO NORTH (206) 367-3837 SEATTLE, WA.<=
Date: Sun, 23 Aug 1992 17:46:50 GMT

In article <ogorman.714516859@unix1.tcd.ie> ogorman@unix1.tcd.ie (Lucifuge) writes:
>In <1992Aug21.025623.18029@eskimo.celestial.com> alpinist@eskimo.celestial.com (David Butler) writes:

>I tend to agree that people often lack perspective but what you seem to
>suggest is a simple inversion. Instead of concentrating on the negative,
>concentrate only on the positive. This is myopic to the point of
>blindness. Pain and negativity are parts of life like beauty and love.
>Living is acceptance of life, the bad as well as the good. There is a
>balance there and it is not static. Sometimes the sun shines and the
>world is fair and joy is yours, sometimes the sun is torn from the sky
>and devoured. To ignore either is to ignore half your life and destroy
>the other.

    Actually, this is largely the point I was trying to make.  That there is
balance.  Posts were being made that it is more realistic to be cynical.
People were seeming to express that negative experiences mean that it is
alright to dwell only on the negatives and feel bad all the time.  I was
pointing out that positive experiences are just as valid as negative ones.
And that focusing on negative experiences only creates an imbalance of bad
feelings.  While ignoring all negative experiences and saying life is nothing
but a rose garden would be unhealthily myoptic, there is nothing wrong with
giving the positive experiences equal or even a little greater weight in
importance than the negative ones.  Enough people posting here seem to be
giving negative experiences the greater weight and totally discounting the
positives.  It is just as valid to go the other way.

>>     My origional post was just an attempt to show that there are other ways
>>of looking at things and that it is a matter of personal choice.  Whenever
>>someone comes along with an even partially positive message on this group
>>I've noticed a number of replies that tend to be defensively negative.  Many
>>of the people are hanging onto their unpleasant feelings and beliefs and
>>react as if they really don't want that to change - and then try to argue
>>that they have no choice in the matter.  You get used to feeling bad then
>>it becomes comfortable and familiar and changing (even for the positive) is
>>so unfamiliar that it becomes threatening so people put up a smokescreen of
>>denial or rationalization so that they can continue to feel bad, while not
>>pleasant is at least predictable and they are used to it.
>
>Oh please. You are paraphrasing Mary J. At least be original. 

     Hmmm, my observation was origional.  But if both of us came up with a
similar perception perhaps there is a bit of truth to it.

>> But I did say, and still havent changed my mind, that
>>you choose how you feel and you choose how you react to others and situations.

>Shall we agree to differ?

   Sure.

-- 
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* Dave                          *               The Alpinist               *
* alpinist@eskimo.celestial.com *            DARE to be stoopid!           *
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