From: Ann.Thomas@f6.n290.z1.fidonet.org (Ann Thomas)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: Shoulder Amputation & Feelings
Date: 24 Jul 92 13:40:17 GMT
Reply-To: Ann.Thomas@f6.n290.z1.fidonet.org
Organization: FidoNet node 1:290/6 - Karma *VS* Dogma, Des Moines IA
X-Fidonet: Amputee Conference

Index Number: 23284

[This is from the Amputee Conference]

 WB> THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE & CALLS. My wife was in the same room
 WB> and  I was selfconscious & embarassed to talk on a feelings
 WB> level. I haave done OK in not upsetting her until a few days
 WB> ago we were driving and she asked me what I will miss most.
 WB> IMMEDIATELY without thinkin I said "Having 2 arms to hold you
 WB> with ..nothing else is as important" and started crying.

        I have been talking to Bear and agree with him that the crying
        is a good start.  As for the part about having two arms to hold
        a lover.  I have it on good information that when the mood is
        right the lack of limbs, or vestigal limbs work just as well,
        you just change position and technique.

        If your taking care of your self, your wife will be better able
        to deal with her own self care.

    WB> Since Dr. Ezacki said that she thought shoulder disarticulation
 WB> was the thing to do; my mental status has improved: I now can
 WB> remember a 7 digit phone number long enough to make a phone
 WB> call, I no longer wake up depressed or anxious, there is no
 WB> depression or conscious anxiety at bed time (had to get
 WB> sleeping pill to go to sellp ofter sleeping 1 time for 2 hours
 WB> in three dayY (YES, Denile is neiter in Egypt nor a river- HA!.

        Sounds like your worrying about tomarrow a lot.  It doesn't
        matter.  Take care of today and tomarrow will just fall into
        place.  ODAAT!  Bear says your a believer.  Well, my experience
        that the Goddess [or whomever your personal higher power is]
        always semms to take care of me.  Not the way "I" want it, just
        ok in the long way.  The trick is doing today and letting your
        HP take care of tomarrow.

 WB> For years I was & told my patientsthat I was "licing death on
 WB> Valium". This was because of not wantin g people to develop
 WB> cross addictions, valium addictionrebound anxiety, impairmn at
 WB> work or driving the person dosen't realize and a smug desire to
 WB> be superior as well as a belief that except for (a) persons
 WB> with potentially life threating diseases such as colitusm &
 WB> etc. and (b)  folks who had to tell their kids that a parent
 WB> died oe need help thru an extremely stressful 24-72 hour
 WB> period; it wasn't a good way to treat anxiety. NOW I'M HAVING
 WB> TO TAKE VALIUM BECAUSE OF THE MUSCLE SPASMS IN MY
 WB> NON-FUNCTIONAL ARM (no place else) and I'm eating crow.

        Its what you have to do.  Pull the Recovery echo and talk to
        Nadine Thomas about having to use medications that otherwise are
        addictive.  I think I will forward this message to Nadine and
        then cross post her reply.  OK?  She is really sweet person with
        several disabling conditions, and major pain/energy problems.

 WB> Dr. Ezaki couln'd get both an OR & a qualified assistant until
 WB> 8-17. 8-12-90 was when I was attacked. 8-91 Charlotte had a
 WB> major depression & also was planning to divorce me, 8-17-92 a

        Ya know that digging up the past over something like this really
        makes it harder.  While it needed that issues rom the past need
        to be grieved, if they are brought up as a form of pity then
        they become distructive.  Take my word for it, I am an expert.
        In one of the 12 step programs they have a saying about beuing
        in the past and in the future;  If one foot is in the past, and
        the other is in the future your pissing all over today.

 WB> So we are headed to see Dr. J. Ryy at Thomason Hospital Tech.
 WB> Tech. Medical School in El Paso. Dr. Ruy leave & moves to
 WB> Virgnias the end of this month! --- MacWoof Eval:03May92

        I already know that you were too sick for the surgery.  It will
        happen when its supposed to, not one instant earlier or later.
        Let your God take care of it while you do the work needed today.
        Take care of your self.  you sound like you have a cat-a-9-tails
        out and have been beating your self with it.

        Be kind to yourself.  OK?

'Here's hooking at ya, babe.'  Anna

... A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

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