From: mrn3@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MATTHEW R. NARBY)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.football.pro
Subject: Re: Bills Suck!
Date: 27 Jan 93 21:10:44 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1993Jan25.214548.21239@math.ucla.edu>, rfedkiw@crenshaw.math.ucla.ed
u (Ronald Fedkiw) writes:
>I've heard a lot of whining about the Bills winning this one.
>No Way.
>Kelly sucks... he spends more time looking over his shoulder at Reich's
>clipboard, than he spends looking at the Defensive Backs coverages.
>Bruce Smith sucks... all he's interested in is looking good. If he gets
>1 sack, he won't even try the rest of the game. He'll get his big $$.
>Thomas sucks... he'll be two busy worring about Emmitt vs. Thurman to
>remember the plays. 'Hey where is my playbook? Must've left in in my helmet!'
>Andre Reed... is just looking to get traded.
>Loften... is looking for his wheelchair.
>Beebee.... is looking at Reich's clipboard.
>(None of the recievers are looking for the ball.)
>Bennet, Conlan, and Talley... are argueing whose the most over(and under)
>rated of the three.
>Tasker.... has been nominated to so many all-etc teams that he couldn't
>care less about the Super Bowl.
>Jones..... is looking for an INT so bad, he'll probably get burned for at
>least two touchdowns.
>
>This team sucks. They just want personal glory. None really care about the
>win as long as the STATS and CASH are in their hands.`
>
>Dallas on the other hand is the BEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF FOOTBALL.
>Obviously true since they beat S.F. in S.F. in a DO OR DIE situation.
>No other team has done that to S.F. this year. (The Bills LUCKY, SQUEAKY,
>win doesn't count, it should be stripped. It wasn't do or die.)
>
>My team ratings are:
>(1) Dallas
>(2) S.F.
>(3) Philly
>(4) Washington
>(5) N.O.
>(6) Minnesota
>... note the incredible superiority of the NFC. Especially the East.
>(7) Miami
>(8) Houston
>(9) San Diego
>(10) Pittsburg
>... note that Buffalo isn't even in the top ten.
>
>Let's keep our finger's crossed as usual and say...
>
>Prediction: Dallas 100
>            (21 from Kelly's 4 INT's,
>             21 from Emmitt G. Smith... the G. stands for god,
>             21 form Aichman throwing bombs to burn Jones,
>             7 on the play where Bruce Smith cracks three more ribs,
>             21 on Thomas's fumbles caused from a superior NFC East Defence,
>             7 more on a K.Davis fumble, after Thomas breaks his legs,
>             2 when Buffalo's NEWEST trick play is ran... they snap directly
>               to Thomas who hands off to Beebe on a reverse, Beebe runs ten
>               yards down field then laterals back to Kelly who throws a
>               hail mary to the eligible Tackle, the Tackle laterals to
>               to Loften who fumbles on purpose to act as a decoy,
>               it's picked up by Bruce Smith who was playing Center and no one
>               noticed, Bruce back tracks to his own 1 yard line, then laterals
>               to Kelly in the end zone, Kelly throws a 99 yard bomb to Kelso
>               who was playing wide out and no one noticed, and Kelso runs
>               99 yards in the wrong direction to score a Dallas safety.
>               Two many concusions have Kelso dizzy and mixed up. He gets them
>               in the parking lot after practice. It seems someone named
>               Reich keeps hitting Kelso over the head with a baseball bat,
>               mistaking Kel-so for Kel-ly.)
>
>            Buffalo 6
>            (3 of of Smiths only sack, 3 off of Jones only INT)
>
>
>--
>Ron Fedkiw (rfedkiw@joshua.math.ucla.edu)
>
>The meek shall inherit the Earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.
>
I like the humor approach! As I can tell, the opinions expressed above are not
necessarily those of anyone else's or those of the air pocket that wrote them.
But hey, if you ever need a literary agent for miraculous fiction and/or
fantisy fiction, or maybe (if it is true) horror fiction, let me know.
 
-- 
-Matthew Narby-
Buffalo BILLS
One Bills Drive
Orchard Park, N.Y.
Colors: Red, Blue and White
Rich Stadium
(80,020) NFL