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Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 12:46:12 EST
Reply-To:     Bill McGarry <wtm@sheldev.shel.isc-br.com>
From:         Bill McGarry <wtm@sheldev.shel.isc-br.com>
Subject:      Handicap Digest # 3120

                             THE HANDICAP DIGEST

                                 Issue # 3120

                         Thursday, January 28, 1993

Today's Topics:


                                ******


                                    Pain
                              Anti-depressants
                                   Lament
                              RE: Chiropractors
                            Re: Looking Disabled?
                RE: Greetings from a new person on this echo
                              RE: Back Problems
                                RE: Re: argh
                             RE: TENS TREATMENT
                              RE: help!!!!!!!!!


                                ******


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Subject: Pain
From: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org (Michael Rooney)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:106/737 - AirBoat OnLine, Houston TX


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

LC> > The source of my pain is unknown.  An MRI study indicated 2 disc
LC> > herniations at C4-C5 and one at L4-L5, but I do not think this is
LC> > the source of pain.  Pain is mostly in the legs, but sometimes in
LC> > the arms.  When the pain becomes intense, I cannot think about
LC> > anything else.

LC> > I need some advice on asking for pain medication.  I am afraid my
LC> > doctor will think I am a drug abuser and refuse to treat me.

LC> > Is there any way I can put myself at ease about
LC> > running out or not being able to get pain medication.

Stay with the same doctor and make sure he understands and is a specialist
in dealing with your problem. I live on drugs, without them I would be a
basket case off in some corner. Addiction is always a possibility when taking
some drugs, and one neither I nor my doctor is fond of. No prescription is
for more tham one month and I see him every month. He asks how I am doing,
checks flexibilty, asks about any side effects and says I'll see you next
month. Then I go for blood tests and urine tests that are both to see just
how active the disease is, keep an eye on the continuing damage to my kidneys
from the drugs and to test for drug abuse. The doctor is good and works with
me to try and keep me in a comfortable lifestyle, painwise not moneywise.<G>

LC>If you can learn some relaxation techniques, this might help you learn to
LC>control your pain.  I have a file here if you're interested.
LC>Linda

This is an excellent suggestion that works if you work at it. Not a cure all
but sure does and can take the edge off.
Mike...
 ~ SLMR 2.1a ~ Nag - A wife who is all peaches and scream.

--
Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!106!737!Michael.Rooney
Internet: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: Anti-depressants
From: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org (Michael Rooney)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:106/737 - AirBoat OnLine, Houston TX


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

SW> -=> Quoting Ruthie Hoffman to Bill Waller <=-

SW> RH> ... I have some ear-ringing (tinitus) but the doc isn't saying
SW> RH> that that is a side effect of the drug yet because I also have had a
SW> RH> real bad time in the past month with an ear infection! (fun..wow)
SW> Ruthie,

SW> I'd be interested to know how things go with the tinitus and
SW> anti-depressants. after I started taking anti-depressants I got
SW> tinitus, but the doc says it's unrelated. Hmm. I'm not so sure.
SW> So ... anyone else out there ...?
SW> Stefan

Don't know about the anti-depressants but several years ago I couldn't get
a prescription for indocin since the GP I was seeing wouldn't and I didn't
want to see a specialist just to get it soooooo I used aspirin. Lots of it,
12-16 250 mg. a day. I started getting ringing in my ears, forgot it was
a side effect of aspirin since I hadn't used it in a while. Saw the doctor
and he asked me about taking aspirin and that was the answer. He gave me one
prescription for indocin and told me to see a specialist. No more tinitus.
I had other problems at the time including extreme paranoia and started
to think there were little people following me around with bells.<G> Mike...
 ~ SLMR 2.1a ~ Democrats taxing the imagination is nothing new.

--
Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!106!737!Michael.Rooney
Internet: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: Lament
From: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org (Michael Rooney)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:106/737 - AirBoat OnLine, Houston TX


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

SW> Hello all.  Yes, you, and you, and you.  And you there, over in the
SW> back.

SW> I've been thinking and hesitating to broach this subject.  Now it's
SW> time to boost the battery charging circuts.  This is a lament close
SW> to my heart.  I'd like to hear from you.

SW> I've taken a turn for the worse this week.  Hope the pain increase is
SW> temporary--though, when illness is chronic, any downturn can make the
SW> black wave close overhead.  I'm running out of air.  I think about
SW> suicide more often, not seriously, but I think about it.  The
SW> ultimate out.  When I focus on something, the grey cells go on
SW> strike: I feel like oatmeal for brains.  I'm also feeling a deep and
SW> abiding sense of loneliness for female companionship.  In the past,
SW> I've been blessed with 6 and 8 year relationships.  I live alone now
SW> (with help from friends and family) and feel a hole in my heart of
SW> lacking--oh woe--company and intimacy.  I miss the conversations with
SW> slippery puns; and the purple tongues from eating blueberry muffins
SW> together; and the walking on the beach; and the curling up spooning
SW> sleep.  I'm not sure how I'd get there.  With the limits that
SW> challenge me, I don't imagine how I'd manage if I did. (Hmm.  Some
SW> interesting twists in that.)
****deleted****
SW> This is heartache though.  I just want to feel loved.  I'd even like
SW> to feel loved from myself.  I don't find or recognize what myself is
SW> anymore.  Chronic pain mists up the visibility.  Hmm.  Defogger?
SW> windshield wipers?
SW>Thanks,
SW>Stefan

Stefan, I've written to you about this before so you know how I feel about
the "ultimate out". There is a quote from Milton that fits your situation.
"The mind is it's own place, and in itself can make heaven of Hell, a hell
of Heaven." Oscar Wilde said "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong
romance".

It all goes back to something that has been talked about here before,
attitude. I remeber nearly seven years ago, May of 1986, when in a group
therapy session the counselor had everyone say what they liked about
themselves. When it came my turn I just sat there. I realized, for the
first time, that I really hated myself, not dislike, but hate. I finally
said "my beard" just to get him to go to the next person, but that
realization was scary and was also the start of a new beginning. It made
me look at myself, slowly at first, but to take an inventory of what I had
to offer, both to myself and to others. I spent four weeks in that hospital
and was about the most uncooperative patient you could imagine. I was smart
enough to know just what to tell the doctors to make them happy, but at
the same time I found I could no longer lie to myself. I associated myself
with people who would call me on it when I started back into old habits.
I just wanted something better than I had before and made the effort to get
it. Again, I could not have done it without the help of others, but I also
could not have done it had I not wanted to no matter what others wanted for
me. You must love yourself before you can really allow someone to love you.
You may not be able to do anything about your physical body but you can do
something about your emotional mind and your spiritual soul. And these two,
more than anything else, control your life.

One final thought. Don't know if you have a bible, but if not borrow one
and read I Corinthians 13. Some very powerful stuff. You asked me once
before to explain where my faith came from. Read the Ten Commandments and
tell me there is a better answer to the ills of the world. Straight forward
and plain. Read the Sermon on the Mount. Whether you believe Jesus Christ
is the Son of God or not, you cannot read it and not be made to think about
the power of the words. And finally, try the Lord's Prayer. Some say it is
the perfect prayer. A friend lent me a book several years ago that anylyzed
the Lord's Prayer from a spiritual prespective. It changed it's meaning for
me forever.

Maybe you see a common thread in all this babble. I had to do the work, I
had to put forth the effort, but the rewards have been more than I could
ever have dreamed. I no longer have expectations of what things should be
for me but just live life as it comes and have found a true peace. A peace
that I often screw up with my negative thoughts, my negative actions, but
a peace that is just waiting there for me to embrace. Seven years ago I
wanted to die and was afraid to. Today I want to live but am not afraid
to die. Makes quite a difference in how I live my life and in the quality
of my life. And it all is up to me. I can put my life in the hands of GOD
and let HIM help me or I can take it over and take up where I left off.
My choice.

Stefen, if you want things to change to is all up to you. No one can make
you whole as a person, they can only compliment you. And if you don't learn
to love yourself how do you expect someone else to do it. You will be in
my prayers, take care, Mike...
 ~ SLMR 2.1a ~ Body by Fisher - brains by Mattel

--
Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!106!737!Michael.Rooney
Internet: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: RE: Chiropractors
From: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org (Michael Rooney)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:106/737 - AirBoat OnLine, Houston TX


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

ML>Hello Linda and to all.  I'm new here, but I'm glad I've found this area.
ML>Humor is the best medicine when you are living from day to day in chronic
ML>pain. There are days when I feel I cannot take it another day and wish I cou
ML>just make it end.  I continue to load myself up with medications just to mak
ML>it through, but they cannot remove all that overwhelms me.  A smile goes a
ML>long ways and I have found many friends across the lines who have given me a
ML>reason to smile.  I know there must be a reason that I have been dealt this
ML>pain that continues to haunt me, but I'm still looking for it.  Maybe it has
ML>always been there, but I have failed to see it.

ML>                        Thanks for listening,
ML>                                               Mike

I don't believe GOD has singled us out for our particular disease or physical
problem. What I do believe is that how we handle it is what is important.
The "Why me Lord" syndrome does more harm and no good, but the way we cope
can help not only us to lead better lives but also others through our
example. Since we are human we all have problems, some of us more so than
others. How we handle these problems, the choices WE make, determine whether
we suffer and bemoan life or prosper and enjoy life.

Mike...
 ~ SLMR 2.1a ~ I was abducted by a UFO and am having Elvis's baby.

--
Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!106!737!Michael.Rooney
Internet: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: Re: Looking Disabled?
From: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org (Michael Rooney)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:106/737 - AirBoat OnLine, Houston TX


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

SW> -=> Quoting Stefan Welch to Linda Cummings<=-

SW> It certainly can be demanding and feel self demeaning to be
SW> publicly glum when we all grew up with "Put your best foot
SW> forward" and "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say
SW> anything at all" and the health/youth/beauty conscious culture.

SW> I'll have another new opportunity to practice making "bad" first
SW> impressions: I have a new course starting--I'm making
SW> arrangements for an appointment with the UCSF pain management
SW> center on January 22. I'm looking forward to a thorough
SW> diagnostic workup, and not looking forward to doctor's
SW> appointments and procedures. ... more as the time approaches.

IMHO this is one time when you don't have to be anybody but yourself. They
need to know just how you feel, both physically and mentally. Our mental
outlook (attitude, that word again) has a lot to do with the pain we live
with.

SW> LC> maybe I was giving off wrong signals.  I was giddy and humorous, when
SW> LC> I should have been sullen and pain-looking.
SW> LC> Now, with them, I can see it.  But with friends and family, I put on
SW> LC> my face and don't act like I'm hurting as much as I really am.  I

SW> With friends and family I too "fake it." Often, sometimes too
SW> often. I find it internally deceptive to put on a good face and
SW> make the best of it (which is, of course, absolutely essential
SW> when managing chronic pain), and at other times let people know
SW> that I feel rotten (so the compassion has room for interplay).
SW> TTFN,
SW> Stefan

Sometimes it is obvious I am hurting real bad and if asked I make no bones
about it. I just don't dwell on it since, if at the same time, I wallow in
it, I just feel worse. Putting on a "happy" face is not always bad. It is
the first step in changing our mental "face". Think about this. How many
"normal" people ask each other "Hi, how you doing?" and really don't want
or expect anything but "Great!". I used to give answers like "terrible",
"can barely walk", "I ache all over", "my dog just died", "car got stolen"
and you would be suprised at the number of people who would say "Hey, great"
and just go right on with the conversation. Most people don't want to hear
about your problems. It's all surface and no substance. I had a secretary
at the time who knew what I was doing and would just laugh her head off.
If you really told people exactly how you felt no one would want to talk
to you, to depressing. I tell people just what I want them to know and
nothing more, and this includes my family. If I started telling them
exactly how I felt we would all get depressed and I prefer the upbeat.
Mike...
 ~ SLMR 2.1a ~ I'm NOT anthropormorphic! Now get your foot off my tail.

--
Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!106!737!Michael.Rooney
Internet: Michael.Rooney@f737.n106.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: RE: Greetings from a new person on this echo
From: Elizabethann.Hawhee@f119.n283.z1.fidonet.org (Elizabethann Hawhee)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:283/119 - The Mouse College, Cedar Rapids IA


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

In a message to Elizabethann Hawhee written on Monday, January 11,
1993 at 2:50:00, Shoshona Bieman writes:

SB > he does appreciate. I still feel bad that he does so much more
SB > than me - but he is pretty accepting of me & what I can't do.
SB > Life...

Boy, I know how that feels. Sometimes I feel so guilty when the house is a
disaster but Jerry is great about it. It took me a long time for me to get
used to him doing the dishes but we came to an agreement about it. He does
everything except the pots and pans. I do those because he tends to get
frustrated with them and dent them! And they are heavy duty stainless steel.

We have only been married two years, so are still working some things out.
Still haven't managed to combine all of our 'stuff' one tends to collect in a
non cluttered way. We shift stuff from one room to another to another trying
to organize it all. Someday we will manage.

Take care,
Elizabeth

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Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!283!119!Elizabethann.Hawhee
Internet: Elizabethann.Hawhee@f119.n283.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: RE: Back Problems
From: Elizabethann.Hawhee@f119.n283.z1.fidonet.org (Elizabethann Hawhee)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:283/119 - The Mouse College, Cedar Rapids IA


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

In a message to Elizabethann Hawhee written on Monday, January 11,
1993 at 12:37:51, Linda Cummings writes:

LC > Liz, there are many medications out there and you have to find
LC > the one that is right for you.  I'm on a combination of
LC > anti-depressants at night to help me sleep, Flexaril to control
LC > the spasticity/spasms, muscle cramps, and we switch
LC > from Tylenol #4 to Vicodin and back, etc., for the pain control.
LC > It took some time to get to this combination, though.
LC > You planning on winning the lottery? [grin]  Those things are
LC > expensive! But,

With my strange body the more 'medication roulette' that is played with
chemically similar drugs causes my body to have reactions to all drugs in a
similar catagory. This is why I can no longer take even the most common
anti-inflammatories. The neurologist tried me on many anti-depressants and now
I react violently to them. I have one more I am suppost to try- Zoloft but
franky am scared to. The last medication I was put on (baclofin) I was told it
would have no side effects. Three doses and a hallucination later I quit
taking that one.
As for the lottery, actually I am counting on Ed McMann showing up on my
doorstep any day now. (Big grin)

Take care,
Elizabeth

--
Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!283!119!Elizabethann.Hawhee
Internet: Elizabethann.Hawhee@f119.n283.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: RE: Re: argh
From: Mike.Long@f119.n283.z1.fidonet.org (Mike Long)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:283/119 - The Mouse College, Cedar Rapids IA


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

Hello Wayne, I've been to pain clinics, but I have found most to be a rip-off.
It always looks good on paper and as long as you have the money or ins. to pay
for it they are more than happy to help you, but once you run out of either
it's oh, I'm sorry, we are unable to continue treatment.  They might not all
be this way, but when I went and the nurses who ran the clinic said you have
to stop taking this and that after I went through years of going to local
hospitals, doctors and Mayo who said this is the way to treat your disease you
don't know who to believe or trust.  Also the clinics wanted to repeat test
that had already been done by Mayo a month earlier.  I lost a little faith
real fast as there was no reason for this, but for them to get an extra buck
from the Ins. company.
                         Take Care,  Mike

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Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!283!119!Mike.Long
Internet: Mike.Long@f119.n283.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: RE: TENS TREATMENT
From: Mike.Long@f119.n283.z1.fidonet.org (Mike Long)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:283/119 - The Mouse College, Cedar Rapids IA


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

Hello Renee, I also have a Muscular Dystrophy Disease called
Charcot-Marie-Tooth-disease.  May I intrude and ask what form you have. At
first they thought I had a slow progressing type, as there are two types, but
I wasn't as luckly as they first thought.  The doctors still can't explain why
there is so much pain caused by the disease and I really wish I knew.  I tried
the tens unit a few years back with no luck, but it seems to help many others.
Anything is worth looking into if theres a chance it will help.  I look
forward to hearing from you.

             Take care,  Mike

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Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!283!119!Mike.Long
Internet: Mike.Long@f119.n283.z1.fidonet.org




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Subject: RE: help!!!!!!!!!
From: Kelli.Sheets@f515.n104.z1.fidonet.org (Kelli Sheets)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:104/515 - The Gates of Deliri, Aurora Co


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

EH>Hope you do not mind me butting in Kelli but two years ago when
EH>I had to make an emergency 1000 mile drive I ended up using an ice bag on
EH>my back. Yes, I
EH>know it sounds crazy but for me ice works where heat does not. I
EH>put the bag next to my skin and the cold blocks pain better than anything
EH>other than super  strong pain pills.

I cannot abide ice. I use moist heat. It sure would be alot easier if I
could tho, as it's much easier to use ice on a long ride, then it is HEAT!
(Grin)

EH>Hope you find something that works and congratulations on your
EH>upcoming wedding.

Thank you kindly!

--
Uucp: ..!uunet!bunker!hcap!hnews!104!515!Kelli.Sheets
Internet: Kelli.Sheets@f515.n104.z1.fidonet.org




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                  End of Issue # 3120 of the Handicap Digest

                                ******
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