From: rks@cscns.com (Dancing With synergy)
Subject: Re: One hell of a wake-up call.
Followup-To: alt.support,soc.motss
Organization: Community_News_Service
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 15:52:36 GMT

Scott C. Kennedy (sck@watson.ibm.com) wrote:

: He feels very strongly about the stubbornness and "un-christian" behavior
: of the people who oppose the congregation's choice for pastor. He explained
: that he "wanted to become gay" (his words) to make himself a target for the
: injustices that are committed against homosexuals.

I can understand his outrage but one can not just 'become' homosexual. It
is not like that. 

: 1: He is not homosexual. (I don't believe he is in denial) He vows that he would 
: not be unfaithful to his wife and not take a lover, but "would have a partner." 
: Whomever his partner is could get seriously hurt. (mentally and emotionally) and
: by "becoming gay" he is saying that he believes homosexuality is a person's
: choice not something that can only be a certain way. (I don't know how else to
: say this, but I believe that a homosexual person is homosexual at birth, and
: there is nothing that can be done to make that person "be" heterosexual.)

I agree with you entirely. As a bisexual, I know that I have just always
been that way. It is not something I acquired because it is 'in' or because
I wanted it. My gay acquaintances make it very clear that they have never
been any other way. 


: 2: He seems to wish to be a martyr, but I think his method will hurt and insult
: more than help and aid. The community that he wishes to help may view him
: as an outsider or worse an enemy. And therefore he coul cast off some of his 
: friends to only have his new friends shun him. (Not a very tenable situation)

I think your first line says it all. The best thing he can do is to contact
lesbigay-friendly organizations and work with them. If he can find an 
organization that deals with civil rights in general. He can actually be
*more* effective, making a honest statement about how he feels and his
perspective rather than trying to become something else. 

Almost any university has a lesbigay organization. He could contact 
them and find out where he could be most effective. He could call Janie
and ask her which organizations could be helpful. I would suggest FLAG. 
That should be listed in the phone book. 

I understand his perspective. I really do. When I was a late teenager, I
was outraged about the way Jews have been treated throughout history. 
I went so far as to study for conversion to Judaism. In retrospect, I 
can see that it was a stupid attempt to become something I am not. Somehow
I thought I could make more of a difference from *inside* the oppressed
group rather than from the outside. I finally figured out the way *I*
treat others is the way to begin dealing with oppression. Wanting to 
become gay or Jewish or poor or... is not the way to solve the problem. 
It is just as naive as wanting to become Black in order to fight Black 
oppression. 

I hope your father will re-think this whole thing. I applaude him for 
caring as much as he apparently does but he needs to find something
really effective. Reacting from emotion and impulse won't help anyone.
It will just hurt him. And presuming that he could find a partner who
would agree to this "plan", both could get hurt. 

I am making an assumption here that your father is a straight, White male.
He probably thinks he can't be effective without actually experiencing
the oppression for himself. And he is right. We will never understand
it on a personal level. I have experienced some of it as a woman but
even that pales in comparison to some of the oppression going on. And I
used to detest my own heritage because we are the primary oppressors. 
(I am Scandinavian -- the true "aryans" according to most. Blonde,
Blue-eyed Super-Race. Bleah.) The reality is that none of us is totally
to blame. It is economic oppression that creates racial/etc. oppression. 
That is the place to begin the fight. 

: 3: There must be better ways for a heterosexual person to fight the injustices
: against homosexuals than to artifically become one. 

You are absolutely right. Why don't you print out all of the responses
you get and give/mail them to him?


: Am I off base? 

Hardly.



//gisle


Newsgroups: alt.support,soc.motss