HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ez012344@chip.ucdavis.edu
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: NAMBLA? In Silicon Valley? Don't know.
Date: 26 Jan 93 00:02:04 GMT
Organization: Computing Services, UC Davis
Originator: ez012344@chip.ucdavis.edu

I picked up this message off a BBS and am wondering whether William
Steen, mentioned in the article, was active in NAMBLE; or whether he was not:
Here's the message, I didn't get the paper cite other than knowing that the
story was printed in the Sacramento (Ca.) Bee:
>>>>      
 The man was William Steen from somewhere in Silicon Valley. He was using his
computer system to distribute child porn as well as to contact boys. He even
visited one boy in Sacramento and took him out for pizza, though he didn't
make sexual overtures at that time. He did, however, give the boy computer
equipment as a gift and included some pornography. He was arrested on child
porn charges, which may have included distribution of porn to minors. While in
jail, he offered $2000 to an undercover officer to have the Sacramento boy
killed, since he was a potential prosecution witness. Murder solicitation
charges are being added to Steen's case. All of the above allegations were
cited in Tony Bizjak's article in the Sacramento Bee on Friday, January 15.

 The man at the SPCUG meeting on Wednesday was Bill Spernow, who is a private
investigator and works on such cases with the Department of Justice. He was a
bit heavy-handed in his presentation, but he was trying hard to get people to
take the dangers seriously. He definitely startled many people in the
audience. The Bee may yet do a follow-up story.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dan
deherrin@ucdavis.edu
-----------------------
Hopefully, someone from NAMBLA, who I'm sure reads this newsgroup, can 
confirm or deny this guy's participation in their organization.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: fag2@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Farul A Ghazali)
Subject: Question about Flirting.
Reply-To: fag2@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu 
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 06:54:46 GMT


I've been going out with my SO for the past 5 months. She's a
wonderful person and our relationship has gone along very well, but
one thing that bothers me is that sometimes she flirts quite openly
with some of her male friends. This has not affected our relationship
in any way so far, and when I think about it, I flirt too, although to
a much lesser extent. I don't want to restrict her in any way but at
the same time I do feel somewhat annoyed and perhaps even jealous at
her behavior. What I'd really like to know is how other people react
to these kinds of situations? How do you feel, and how do you think
you should feel? Any replies/advice is greatly appreciated.

fg,
cu, nyc.
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 16:52:23 EST
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Concerned about relationship

In article <1993Jan22.174352.10021@fuug.fi>, an7616@anon.penet.fi says:
>
>Tania has been legally separated from her husband for more than a year, but
>they have yet to file for divorce.

How long has Tania been married to her husband?  How old were they when
they married?

>Will she go back to him?  Will our relationship fall apart because of her
>indecisiveness with the added strain of an indefinite LDR?  What do people
>think???

I think a great deal depends on why they're having troubles now.  I think
the chances are very good that she would get back together with him,
based on the information you provided.

I think your relationship doesn't have such a good chance, because of the
indefinite LDR and the fact that she doesn't know what she wants.

-Sonja
------
SEK@psuvm.psu.edu SEK@PSUVM.BITNET
Love is not enough.  It must be the foundation, the cornerstone --
but not the complete structure.  It is much too pliable, too yielding.
                                            - Bette Davis
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ssimmons@convex.com (Steve Simmons)
Subject: >>>> Sex After Childbirth
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 12:49:03 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.


> We have a 7 month old son, our first. He's happy and healthy. I've
> enjoyed almost every moment he's been with us. We tried for a long
> time, 1 year or so  so our sex life was not so great (or normal) for
> that time.
>
> Since childbirth, sex has been nonexistant. I'm only 30 years old, and
> am having a hard time dealing with this. My wife and I have
> been together for over ten years, six of which have been in marriage.
> We've talked about it, but nothing seems to be changing. I love my wife
> and child, but I have needs too!
>
> I have tried many times to rekindle her interest. I am pretty much
> out of ideas. Any comments or suggestions would be welcome.

For most people, their sex lives after childbirth take time to start up;
however, 7 months is a long time.  At this point, it is going to be 
increasingly more difficult to start and so you better make plans. 
After the first time, it should get easier.  In fact, your wife may be
concerned that you don't find her as attractive with stretch marks
and other baby birth scars and so YOU must disprove it. 

First, your wife is probably consumed with the baby and much of her energy
is consumed.  Therefore, you will need to get away from the baby.  A
night out will not be good enough because she will constantly wish to call 
home.  A weekend in a relaxing environment is probably the best. Avoid
places like the Poconos or Las Vegas where there is too much activity. 

Try a weekend at the beach or in the mountains; these are places where 
there is not much to do.  Eventhough it is a January, a weekend at the 
empty may be more romantic (and cheaper) than many other alternatives. 

Also, make sure your baby is left in good hands. Hopefully, you have 
parents, in-laws, or friends in the area.  Inform them about your objectives 
so they know not to call you unless there is an emergency. 

On the other hand, don't force your wife (too much).  If she is not ready, 
then she is not ready.  However, you should be candid with her about your 
concerns. 

Thank you. 

						Steve Simmons
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: mlee@post.RoyalRoads.ca (Malcolm Lee)
Subject: Re: A Question...
Keywords: last names
Organization: Royal Roads Military College, Victoria, B.C.
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 22:38:50 GMT


In article <106120@netnews.upenn.edu>, pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo) writes:
|> Here's a question that I'd like people's opinions on:  What do you
|> think about the practice of a woman taking the man's last name when
|> they get married?
|> 
|> Personally, I think that it's a good idea for a married couple to
|> share a last name, both for the sake of convinience and because I
|> think it is a clear reminder that they are family to each other.
|> *However,* I really object to the idea that it must be the woman who
|> gives up her name to take the man's name.  In "the bad old days" this
|> was symbolic of the fact that she was his legal property, and, in the
|> eyes of the law, they were one person -- him.  But why do we still
|> need to do this?  What's wrong with both of them taking her last name,
|> or a totally new one?  Or some combination of the two?  
|> 
|> It seems like a lot of couples I know have gone the route of having
|> the woman either keep her own last name or having the woman take hers
|> hyphenated with his.  Rarely does the man take a hyphenate name.  Does
|> it seem strange or unfair to anyone else that the woman is expected to
|> make the change, but never the man? 
|> 
|> I know a few men who seem to think it is solely a woman's problem and
|> solely her decision.  She has the option of keeping her name or taking
|> his or hyphenating them, but he does not expect to have to do anything
|> at all.
|> 
|> Personally, I think it is deeply symbolic to change one's name and
|> take another's.  I see it as very appropriate in marriage.  But I
|> don't think I'd be willing to make that sacrifice for someone who
|> wasn't willing to make that sacrifice for me.
|> 
|> Any reactions?
|> 
|> ajp
|> 

I see your point.  My SO and I plan to get married shortly and we did
discuss this matter of changing names briefly.  She said that she wanted
to keep her maiden name but would answer to Mrs Lee if someone called
her that.  As for me changing my name to hers, I would do it if it would
please her.  I have never asked her to change her name and so I wouldn't
expect that she would ask me to do so.  I guess, the name thing is not
so important to me, the marriage is.

I think a more burgeoning problem would be what to name the kids.  Whose
last name should they bear?
|> 
|> 
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: apdolan@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (dolan andrew)
Subject: interracial couples
Summary: interracial couples
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 05:26:36 GMT
Keywords: interracial couples

 
 I have been involved in a variety of       
 interracial relationships, as a white man with black women,
 and am interested in learning about any
 support groups and other related activities
 that may exist that readers may know about or have
 been involved in. The primary one I know of is
 the Interracial and Biracial Clubs in Buffalo and Chicago.
 Are there other groups out there?
 You can post on this board or email to me
 at  apdolan@uxa.cso.uiuc

 Some books that may be of interest:

 "Marriage Across the Color Line" Larsson, 1965
 "Black and White Mixed Marriages"Ernest Porterfield

 If anyone has other relevant information, anecdotes,
 or just wants to talk, use the above email address.
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 19:07:58 EST
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: A Question of Etiquette
 <93021.085627SEK@psuvm.psu.edu> <luden.77.727653077@lehigh.edu>

In article <luden.77.727653077@lehigh.edu>, luden@lehigh.edu (Dean E. Nelson)
says:

>Are their people we can pay to worry about these things for us?

Yep.  They're called professional wedding consultants.  Sometimes
I feel like I should have hired one, and then I remember that the
most annoying thing is figuring out what I want, not hiring someone
to carry it out.  If I hired a wedding consultant, I'd still have to
tell *them* what I wanted...

-Sonja
------
SEK@psuvm.psu.edu SEK@PSUVM.BITNET
Love is not enough.  It must be the foundation, the cornerstone --
but not the complete structure.  It is much too pliable, too yielding.
                                            - Bette Davis
From: clark@umbc.edu (Ms. Kathleen Clark)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Concerned about relationship
Date: 22 Jan 1993 13:36:30 -0500
Organization: University of Maryland, Baltimore County Campus
NNTP-Posting-Host: umbc8.umbc.edu

In article <1993Jan22.174352.10021@fuug.fi> an7616@anon.penet.fi writes:
>I am involved in a situation about which I would like some advice/opinions.

[stuff deleted]

>Given my SO's
>wavering, I am really concerned about our future.  I fear the combined
>impact of:
>
>1. Her love and conflicting feelings towards her ex and me (I believe this
>   is the main issue);
>2. Our being in an LDR with no light at the end of the tunnel, and;
>3. Her ex being nearby and making renewed overtures.
>
>Will she go back to him?  Will our relationship fall apart because of her
>indecisiveness with the added strain of an indefinite LDR?  What do people
>think???
>

	Well,  I think you know the answers.. at least it seems like
you do.  I have a bad feeling, that this will not work whatsoever.
Basically, you need to let go, let her know that you do love her, but
let her make her own decision.  If you pressure her too much, she will
pull away from you.  That is not what you want to happen.  LDR's are
very hard, I was in one for a year and a half.... the last 6 months
were the worse.. I felt lonely and wanted very much to be with my SO.
It worked out, now he lives with me, so they can work.. but like you
mentioned, we had a light at the end that we could see.  Her ex, is
also a big problem.  They were married... they have a lot of past memories,
and their relationship, no matter how bad it was, was more serious than
yours is with her.  That's something that is in her mind.  Plus, does
she really love you?  I mean, not telling her family about you?  That
sounds kinda weird... if she's so happy with you, she would want her family
to know that, right?  I personally think it's a no win situation... and
I'd try to pull yourself away from it, and find a healthy relationship
for yourself!

Just my opinions... doesn't mean it's right!

Kathy
>Many thanks in advance!
>
>P.S.  Polyamory is out of the question because it is unacceptable to her
>ex, and I'm not too keen on it either.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
>Due to the double-blind system, any replies to this message will be anonymized,
>and an anonymous id will be allocated automatically. You have been warned.


Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: matt@severian.chi.il.us (Matt Crawford)
Subject: Re: need money advice - how do we spend money on ourselves?
Organization: The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 03:11:35 GMT

I've been there before and I'm there again now.  Both times, my
(or rather, our) chosen solution is the same.  Divide the money into
"his", "hers", and "joint."  Put as much money in the joint account
as you need to cover essentials and some frivolities.  (For instance,
going out to dinner and movies together is done with joint money.)
Use of the "individual" money is not accountable.

I can see that this might be tougher to get used to when coming from
an "all money is joint money" arrangement.  I've never been in such,
so it's quite easy to move from "mine is mine, yours is yours" to
"yours, mine, and ours."

But the one thing I can do without is the more-committed-than-thou
people on the net who think that any arrangement other than full
mingling indicates moral inferiority.  Oh, can you tell this topic
has come up before?   :-}
__________________________________________________________
Matt Crawford       matt@severian.chi.il.us       Java Man
From: aland@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Alan D.)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: A Question...
Keywords: last names
Date: 25 Jan 93 20:39:03 GMT
Reply-To: aland@cs.brandeis.edu
Organization: As little as possible

In <106120@netnews.upenn.edu> pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo) writes:

>Here's a question that I'd like people's opinions on:  What do you
>think about the practice of a woman taking the man's last name when
>they get married?

No real preference, although I was glad to read my girlfriend's post
saying that she will take my surname. ;)  I'm not sure she's realized
that then people will equate her with not only me but the rest of my
family as well...  I hope she doesn't reconsider. *grin*

>I know a few men who seem to think it is solely a woman's problem and
>solely her decision.  She has the option of keeping her name or taking
>his or hyphenating them, but he does not expect to have to do anything
>at all.

An amusing anecdote which Amy (mine, not Amy Pezzillo) has heard
already; I have a female friend who is engaged (more or less); she has
a very simple last name, her fiancee has a fairly complicated one.
They have agreed that they will both take the "more asthetically
pleasing" name, but disagree on which it is.  *gag*

	-=Alan
From: michael@neuron6.jpl.nasa.gov (Michael Rivero)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Great strip joints
Date: 27 Jan 93 02:55:51 GMT
Article-I.D.: jato.1993Jan27.025551.17543
Organization: JPL Pasadena CA

In article <1993Jan26.214434.1468@newshub.ccs.yorku.ca> sosc1048@wc11.writer.yorku.ca (Joel Cohen) writes:
>
>Help!
>I need a strip joint where there is some HOT BUTTS?
>I need a strip joint where there is some HOT HONKERS!
>I need a strip joint where there are HOT CHICKS with HOT P@SSY$
>I need a joint>!!>
>
>Please tell me where I can find this strip club, so that I may view 
>women the way they were meant to be viewed!
>
>Thank you guys and girls who respond.  P.S. If any girl wants to give me 
>SH@T over this posting better be HOT, otherwise I'm not listening.
>
>                          ONE MAN - ONE Can!
>                 And you better not miss the seat



  Somebody left their terminal unattended again!!!!!!!!!!!



-- 
Michael Rivero michael%neuron6@jpl-mil.jpl.nasa.gov
From: kevin@clsi.COM (Kevin Cameron)
Subject: Re: Two questions (lengthy background)
Originator: kevin@dubhe
Reply-To: kevin@clsi.com
Organization: Rien A Faire
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 23:18:57 GMT


01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a pause.) wrote:

> HELP! ....

Kyle,

time to write a letter I think. State your case, and if she doesn't see it your
way - give up.

Some people like to ignore good advice and don't know who their friends are -
looks like you found one.

Better luck in future,
Kev.
-- 

Living in a screwed-up place in a screwed-up time with screwed-up people,
does not necessarily mean you are screwed-up. ("Pump Up The Volume")
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 09:11:51 EST
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: A Question...

In article <106120@netnews.upenn.edu>, pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J.
Pezzillo) says:

>Personally, I think that it's a good idea for a married couple to
>share a last name, both for the sake of convinience and because I
>think it is a clear reminder that they are family to each other.

I agree, but I'm still not convinced that I want to change my last name.
I'm thinking of just keeping it, and not bothering to get upset if
people call me "Mrs. Pfeifer."  This saves me the trouble of having to
change my passport, driver's license, credit cards, etc.  However,
it adds additional problems.  People are used to calling married women
"Mrs.," but I couldn't ever be "Mrs. Kueppers."  I would have to remain
"Ms. Kueppers."  People will no doubt get confused, as in, "yes, but
what's your *real* name?"  (Reminiscent of the Peter, Paul, and Mary
25th anniversary special, in which Mary recounts how she's always being
asked which of the two men she's married to, and she says neither, and
the person she's talking to says, "no, really, which one are you married
to?" Her comment was, "you'd think I'd *know*!")

>I know a few men who seem to think it is solely a woman's problem and
>solely her decision.  She has the option of keeping her name or taking
>his or hyphenating them, but he does not expect to have to do anything
>at all.

My fiance is like this.  He doesn't seem to care what I do with *my* name,
but he doesn't want to change his name in any way.  For example, I suggested
at one point that he replace his middle name with my last name, and
he didn't want to do this because his mother would get upset if he removed
his grandfather's first name from his name.  (I then suggested having
*two* middle names, which the paper-pushing beaurocracy would just love.)
Changing his last name to my last name seems to be completely out of the
question, and I admit that it strikes me as a little odd that it's not
completely out of the question for *me* to change my last name.
I find the whole situation very frustrating.

4 more months to make this decision...

-Sonja
------
SEK@psuvm.psu.edu SEK@PSUVM.BITNET
Love is not enough.  It must be the foundation, the cornerstone --
but not the complete structure.  It is much too pliable, too yielding.
                                            - Bette Davis
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: matt@severian.chi.il.us (Matt Crawford)
Subject: Re: A Question...
Keywords: last names
Organization: The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 02:42:50 GMT

If only all the Colsmiths in the world weren't temporarily residing
overseas, one of the two of them might post to tell what they did.
They chose a new name and both adopted it.

By the way, if any of you are ever faced with a difficult decision on
a name change, you should appreciate having the choice.  My sister
got married in Germany and the laws there are very restrictive.
Either spouse may take the name of the other, or both may keep their
own.  *After* taking the name of the other, that spouse may re-insert
their former name to have a hyphenated surname.

Oh, and when it's time to name your baby, there are restrictions on
that, too!
__________________________________________________________
Matt Crawford       matt@severian.chi.il.us       Java Man
From: rll1@kepler.unh.edu (Robert L Lamothe)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: >>>>> Adult women seducing male children
Date: 22 Jan 1993 18:57:52 GMT
Organization: University of New Hampshire  -  Durham, NH
NNTP-Posting-Host: kepler.unh.edu

In article <cos.727660009@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> cos@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Ofer Inbar) writes:
><RFM@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>  Now this is not to deny that actual molestation does exist, when one
>person takes advantage of another.  But people being taken advantage
>of exists at all ages and in all areas of human life.  When we
>criminalize all sexual relationships below a certain age, we cause
>more problems than we could hope to solve.
>
>  --  Cos (Ofer Inbar)  --  cos@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu

	I'll agree that that being taken advantage of happens to members of
every age group, religous group, race, creed and sex.  But somewhere we have
to draw the line, are you suggesting that a 12 year old can really be 
considered to be an emotionally mature self-realized individual?  How about
a 5 year old?  Are you going to tell me that there is a child somewhere who
is cognative enough and has enough experience to make healthy choices about
sexuality?  In many states the age of consent is 16, in others it can be
as low as 14 but at least there is some legal protection for young people.
I'll concede that a 6 year old boy and girl playing Dr. is a relatively 
harmless thing, but when an 18+ year old male plays Dr. with a 6 year old
male or female then we have a clear case of perversion and a legal adult
who should be tried for molestation.  To say that we should take this on 
a case by case basis is barking at the wind.  Proffesionals can rarely 
agree on what's what.  Show me one proffesional who'll say one thing and
I'll show you another who will say something totally different, and if 
I pay them enough they'll tell me what I want to hear.  Children need 
protection and guidance until such time as they are capable of taking
the responsibilities for their actions and decisions, the law says that
this is 18, but I know few 18 year olds that are truly ready for adulthood.
However at least by the age of 18 most kids are starting to figure out 
who they are and are more capable of making decisions that can affect 
their lives.  In a nut shell its up to us to provide children with the
time they need to figure out who they are before we ask them to make 
choices they arne't ready to make.
`						-Bob

-- 
---
 Robert L. Lamothe                           University of New Hampshire  
 rll@unh.edu                                 Interoperablity lab room 220  
                                                                             
 Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.  
---
Newsgroups: soc.couples