From: bfrg9732@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Brian F. Redman)
Subject: CIA on the Prowl!
Summary: The cat-astrophic spy case
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 20:54:43 GMT
Keywords: treachery trickery deceit deception


                     CIA on the Prowl!
                     =================

"One example of the material excised from Marchetti's book [The 
CIA and the Cult of Intelligence] might suffice. The CIA, having 
access to extraordinary scientific minds through the promiscuous 
use of public funds for which it need not account, set a group of 
geniuses to work on the problem of eavesdropping at cocktail 
parties. The ordinary tape recorder was next to useless due to 
background chatter, the clinking of glasses and other sounds not 
sought by the scientists. This proved to be the case even when 
skilled surgeons, on loan to the CIA for this secret project, cut 
open a cat, inserted a transmitter in his abdominal cavity and 
ran an antenna up through the unfortunate feline's tail. The cat, 
after having recovered from major surgery, was set free at a 
cocktail party as otherwise serious experts huddled around a 
receiver in a nearby room to monitor the results of their 
innovative enterprise."

"Just as we have the ability to focus our vision upon differing 
objectives at different times, we have the gift of centering in 
on sounds which interest us and blocking out the rest. The cat at 
the cocktail party was nothing more than an ambulatory recording 
device without the ability to discriminate between a diplomatic 
indiscretion and the proffer of another canape [snack]."

"The well-paid experts were neither disappointed nor deterred; 
they were merely challenged."

"Several million dollars and a few operations later, the scarred 
and bewildered pussy cat was released at another cocktail party. 
The scientists had recalled that it was the cochlea that 
permitted animals, including humans and, hopefully, cats, to 
focus in on sounds of particular interest. The recording device 
had been attached to that part of the cat's ear in a series of 
intricate and innovative, not to mention outrageously expensive, 
operations."

"The cat stalked the diplomats. The decoding experts were poised 
in headquarters, headsets firmly affixed. The scientists looked 
on and wondered what they had wrought. The cat, stiff tail in the 
air, betrayed no interest in the talk of the guests. It looked 
longingly at the canapes [snacks] lavishly decorated with caviar, 
stared at exquisite fish balls, and was suddenly attracted by a 
sound behind the baseboard, which the listening scientists, upon 
analysis, concluded might have been made by a mouse."

"The experiment had failed. The cat did not share his tormentors' 
interest in espionage."

"The following week, as the finest of scientific minds met to 
examine this latest challenge, the cat escaped from its safe 
house, recklessly crossed the street in search of feline female 
companionship and was run over and killed by an eighteen-wheel 
truck."

"The CIA finally abandoned the project. It is difficult to 
imagine that the published story would have endangered the 
security of the nation. Indeed, it may have affected it 
positively, since the CIA's counterparts throughout the world 
could well have been temporarily incapacitated by laughing fits."

"It would be wrong, however, to conclude that nothing was 
accomplished by the experiment, or that the unknown cat gave its 
life, and suffered substantial pain and mutilation, for nought. A 
friendly nation received an anonymous message that its embassy 
very likely housed some mice. An examination ordered by the 
ambassador proved that the intelligence estimate had been 
accurate, and exterminators were hired at once."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Transcribed by Brian Redman
(bfrg9732@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu)
"Ah yes, Armageddon. I remember it well."
Excerpted from the book "Plausible Denial" by Mark Lane
Published by Thunder's Mouth Press, New York  1991