HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: garrison@kodak.com (Laurie Garrison)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Date: 21 Aug 92 17:40:45 GMT
Reply-To: garrison@kodak.com (Laurie Garrison)
Distribution: usa
Organization: Image Processing Algorithms Laboratory, Eastman Kodak Co.

In article <kiran.714383694@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>, kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
|> garrison@kodak.com (Laurie Garrison) writes:
|> 
|> >boy this statement bothers me.  does this mean that if i get married
|> >and have children and decide to stay home to raise them through preschool,
|> >i am making a 'selfish lazy choice'??? 
|> 
|> naw, you're choosing the more enjoyable option.

who says?  somehow staying home all day with only toddlers to
talk to who still need diaper changes doesn't strike me as a 'more
enjoyable option'  :)

|> 
|> >choosing to stay home with a baby is LAZY???  
|> 
|> Not at all.  But choosing to stay home without a baby and read all day
|> (as one of my friends is now doing) does seem a bit lazy.  (And no,
|> her husband does the cooking. (Nobody cleans. :-))) 

i meant only the case where there are children.  

|> 
|> >sometimes i think i would like to find a man who would be willing to
|> >stay home and let *me* work...i think work is easier!
|> 
|> Work may be easier, but perhaps helping a new mind discover the world
|> is more rewarding?

sure, i used to teach and it was wonderful.  which is more
rewarding (raising children or working) is debatable.

|> 
|> >in some ways, it is *more* selfish and lazy to go to work and
|> >not stay home with the kids.  
|> 
|> Work can be rewarding, but it can also be unrewarding drudgery.

like i said, it depends.  my job can be *very* rewarding.  and even
when it gets boring, at least i get to talk to big people about
politics and other fun stuff!
|> 
|> Childrearing can be drudgery, but in my (limited) experience with
|> children, it is tremndously rewarding. 
|> 

i don't think we are disagreeing here.  i just don't like the idea that
staying home to raise children is 'lazy'.  it's pretty disappointing
to believe that people will think i am lazy if i quit my job to
raise my kids... (not that i would do that, i honestly don't know 
and i am not in the position to worry about it, thank goodness)


laurie

------
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I'd figured out, 	
I have to learn again...
				- Don Henley
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: 6069870@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Organization: Lockheed Missiles & Space Company, Inc.
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 92 17:59:01 GMT

RE: men in thirty something groups ***

is it possible that they are just shy?
is it possible that they do not have the gift of gab?
is it possible that most women now days expect too much
from a man?

what is your conclusion?












Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kimnach@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (GREG KIMNACH)
Subject: Re: Various ramblings
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center
Distribution: na
Date: 21 Aug 1992 10:31 EST  

In article <--#n_jk@lynx.unm.edu>, blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes...
>In article <1992Aug19.175750.25412@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> smith@mot.com (Jeff Smith) writes:
>>kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
>>> Now that I've experienced what it's like to have a real engine powering
>>> the car [Mustang GT], I'll never go back.  :-)
>>Real engine?  Neanderthal, over-weight, cast iron pushrod V-8s are *not*
>>real engines.  Oh, wait...this thread was about relationships, wasn't it?
>>Sorry...   :-)
> 
>Yeah- don't you know it....women always go for those big hulky gas-guzzling
>engines while nice quiet engines measured in 'litres' stay home idling on
>Saturday nights....
>r.
That's because the big v-8s respond immediately to any and all demands.  
No turbo-lag!  An talk about smoooooth....

>(Lets Just Be Less Mechanically-Inclined....)
> 


Greg
----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Remember: The crow flies in square circles.
                            "Either do or do not!  There is no 'try!'"--Yoda
    "It's not what we do, it's what we know.  And we know what to do!"
                                                                --R. Lebron
 Another version:
"It's not what you know, it's what you do.  And you don't know what to do!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: aahz@netcom.com (Aahzmandius)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Various ramblings...
Date: 20 Aug 92 18:33:36 GMT
Organization: Bill 'n' Opus for Prez

In article <1992Aug19.174804.9804@zooid.guild.org> Ross Ridge <ross@zooid.guild.org> writes:
>kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
>
>>If their successes are so limited, why are they bothering with the model at
>>all?  Peace of mind or something?
>
>Consider fishing.  The fisherman knows that if he doesn't use bait
>or a lure, he will fail to catch any fish.  This is part of his "model"
>of fishing.  But even with bait, he's not going to very successful,
>most of his casts will fail to catch any fish.  However, the fisherman
>doesn't define success that way, all he needs to be happy to go home
>with a fish or two.  A lot of people find fishing fustrating and
>unjoyable, but fishermen enjoy it because the don't feel they have
>to succeed on every cast, they enjoy the simple act of fishing,
>and being outdoors.
>
>To me you're someone who wants a fish, but doesn't like fishing.
>
>>So: what have you found works best for you?
>
>I think a fish would be nice, but I don't think it's worth the
>effort to go fishing for, so I don't expect to be having one
>any time soon.

.....alternatively, you could just happen to be someone who likes
sitting down on the lake-shore, enjoying the view and all.  You don't
feel any need to go fishing, but if one jumps out at you, you wouldn't
throw it back.  OTOH, while you're staring at the fish, a cute moose
might come up behind you.....
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

"I 'got a life'.  Now what?"
From: kgorman@star-trek.bbn.com (Karen Gorman)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Mr. Happy
Date: 19 Aug 1992 17:21:19 GMT
Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman Inc., Cambridge MA
Reply-To: kgorman@BBN.COM (Karen Gorman)
NNTP-Posting-Host: archive.bbn.com

In article <1992Aug19.161026.17729@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.ibm.com writes:
>In  <l94hsnINN1qa@news.bbn.com>  kgorman@star-trek.bbn.com (Karen Gorman) writes:
>> In article <14127@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>> >You'd throw up too if someone grabbed you by the neck and tried to jerk
>> >your head off.  There, there now Mr. Happy, no reason to get upset.
>> >
>> >Oh no, he's getting mad again.  His face is turning red.
>>
>> But he is so cute when he is mad. :-)
>
>You just like him because he stands up for you.  :-)



It's the applause, it gets me everytime!  :-)






Karen

Kg@bbn.com
From: oviedo@LAB.ULTRA.NYU.EDU (Miguel D Oviedo)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Major problems
Date: 18 Aug 92 04:56:05 GMT


I am posting this in a last ditch effort to get some answers
and maybe a direction to head in.

Lets see, where to start..

A brief overview:
-----------------
I am a pathalogical liar (approx 30% of the time), 
fiscally irresponsible, unemployed, obsessed and losing
the love of my life after 4 years.


Details:
--------

I am a 22 year old male, who met this drop dead beautiful
27 year old woman approx. 4 years ago at a friends party.

We hit things off really well, and soon started dating.
At the time I was working at a univeristy and she assumed
I was a professor or something and I was alot older, It
was awhlie before she found out I was 18 and just a programmer.
(Problem 1)

She soon got over the age thing, but the fact that I mislead 
her into this realtionship, still comes up.

After I left the university, I got a job with a large company
on wall street as a programmer, getting a great salary for a 20
year old. Things were going OK with the realtionship now, but
the were slightly rocky.

Some problems arouse in the job and I was terminated in an
ugly fashion, and am still quite unsure about why (but thats
a story in itself)  This is when things got really bad in the 
relationship. 

I have tried to get a job since but and even started working, but
after about 2 weeks they got a background report back from my
previous job and I was terminated again. So I have been unemployed
for about 5 months now. (Problem 2)

In the past 2 months the relationship has gotten really BAD. She
kept saying she wants to date others (which she is currently)
and wants no contact with me for awhile.  The reason she wants
a breakup is:

		I cannot hold a job.
		I am obsessive (calling her alot, showing up to meet her)
		Fiscally irresponsible.
		Lie quite abit.

	On the few bright points she does care for me, and she is very 
close to my family (as she has no real family), and she does enjoy my
company. (When I am not obsessive)


	The bottom line is I am unemployed, have no money, no friends
 and losing the most important person im my life. She is at the point now
where she says she wants NO contact with me, physical, verbal, NOTHING,
NADA, ZIP, NONE!  How do I deal with this.. losing a person who
used to sleep over my house 2-3 times a week, see each other almost everyday,
almost get engaged (Yes! I had a ring and all).

	Also, I should mention that she was also my first real 
relationship, ie: my first sexual experience. Which adds to the variables.

	What I am asking for is some help/suggestions on how to deal 
with this overall shitty feeling, the kinda feeling where you just 
want to crawl in a corner a die. 

	 I can just go on for pages and pages with more variables in
the relationship, but there is no use taking up bandwith, If anyone
wants more info drop me a line, or for that fact just drop me a line and
say "Hi!"
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Organization: AT&T
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 20:33:33 GMT

In article <kiran.714384225@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu> kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>garrison@kodak.com (Laurie Garrison) writes:
>
>>besides the obvious, she *could* make more than he does :)
>Yeah, she could, but does she?

Yes.

Oh, wait.  You mean with or without child support payments?  :-)

-Nance
-- 
Nance Colucci  *^*^*^*^*^*    o__    *^*^*^*^*  |  Work that body!
att!ihlpk!colucci            _.>/               | Stay fit for life.
                            (_) \(_)                           
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 17:45:29 GMT
Keywords: commitment,marriage,reluctance

In article <1992Aug17.170336.9918@cbfsb.cb.att.com> sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein) writes:
>
>Why do some women focus more on the reasons not to persue a relationship
>rather than focus on the positive aspects (or possibilities) that could
>be gained from a relationship?

People do that, not just "some women."  I think just about anyone who's
been badly hurt in the past is going to either jump head first into
anything that comes along, or back off in fear when what looks like
a "sure thing" comes their way.

It depends on an individual's reflex style.  Boing.

-Nance
-- 
Nance Colucci  *^*^*^*^*^*    o__    *^*^*^*^*  |  Work that body!
att!ihlpk!colucci            _.>/               | Stay fit for life.
                            (_) \(_)                           
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Organization: Indiana University
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 07:54:54 GMT

garrison@kodak.com (Laurie Garrison) writes:

>boy this statement bothers me.  does this mean that if i get married
>and have children and decide to stay home to raise them through preschool,
>i am making a 'selfish lazy choice'??? 

naw, you're choosing the more enjoyable option.

>choosing to stay home with a baby is LAZY???  

Not at all.  But choosing to stay home without a baby and read all day
(as one of my friends is now doing) does seem a bit lazy.  (And no,
her husband does the cooking. (Nobody cleans. :-))) 

>sometimes i think i would like to find a man who would be willing to
>stay home and let *me* work...i think work is easier!

Work may be easier, but perhaps helping a new mind discover the world
is more rewarding?

>in some ways, it is *more* selfish and lazy to go to work and
>not stay home with the kids.  

Work can be rewarding, but it can also be unrewarding drudgery.

Childrearing can be drudgery, but in my (limited) experience with
children, it is tremndously rewarding. 

-- 
"As they trot around in the grass, rooting for insects and such,
 Armadillos remind some observers of young pigs.  Oddly enough, 
 young pigs never remind them of Armadillos."
-- 
Kiran Wagle                             <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
P.O.Box 2083 Bloomington IN 47402-2083                  (812) 335-0420
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Ugly hands
Date: 19 Aug 92 21:58:43 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <l93595INN2l8@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> lemay@lorelei.Eng.Sun.COM (Laura "Treekiller" Lemay - IWTFM) writes:
>> huston@access.digex.com (Herb Huston) writes:
>> >Instead of distinct heart and head lines, I've got a simian crease,
>> >one line running straight across from the radial to the ulnar edges.
>
>That means you're a serial killer.
>
On a similar note,  I once saw a thing on various forms of "fortune telling".
Tarot card readers, palm readers, psychics (how come you never see a headline
that reads: PSYCHIC WINS LOTTERY?), and astrologers were all covered.  All 
of the members of the audience had given the pertinent information to an
astrologist and then were given an envelope which had their "reading".  
Everyone in the audience opened their envelope and were asked to comment on
the reading without disclosing the content.  Almost everyone talked about how
accurate it was for them.  After six or so talked about it they were told that
envelopes all contained the exact same reading and that the reading was `
actually one that performed on a serial killer from Utah.


-- 
+============================================================================++
| John Fereira            "Is that all you ever think about?"                |
| johnf@auspex.com                                                           |
+============================================================================++
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: Larry Margolis <margoli@watson.ibm.com>
Subject: Re: men dancing with men just because they're friends.
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 03:47:44 GMT
Reply-To: margoli@watson.IBM.com
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: The Village Waterbed

In  <14072@auspex-gw.auspex.com>  johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
> In article <1992Aug14.212829.33958@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.ibm.com writes
> >In  <2219@catfish.ocpt.ccur.com>  luzenko@catfish.ocpt.ccur.com (Bill Luzenko)
> >>
> >> Why men can't dance with men in america without some stigma attached to it .
> >
> >Well, gee, if I knew there was a stigma attached, I'm sure I wouldn't have
> >done it.
>
> Usually when I've got my stigma attached, I end up dancing with a women
> rather than men.  Are you sure you've got it attached correctly.  The pointy
> end goes out.

Are you sure?  The last time I offered it to a woman, that's not what
she told me to do with it.

Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
From: hymowitz@whatever.cs.jhu.edu (Hymie!)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Criteria for friends and lovers
Date: 13 Aug 92 23:04:08 GMT
Organization: Creative Sensualities dept, Jacquie's House of Underwear

rudoff@mdd.comm.mot.com (Doug Rudoff) writes:

>This is a usual male lament here on soc.singles: Why are my female
>friends only interested in being friends? Doesn't it make sense that
>two people that are romantically involved to have friendship as a
>basis for their relationship?

hmmm... interesting question.

i dated a girl who i was one of my closest friends in high school.  it
started with the 'typical' harmless flirting; as the friendship grew,
so did the attraction.  so we dated for almost 4 1/2 years, from the very
end of high school to six months after (her) graduation.  being
at separate colleges in separate towns, the relationship was a bit
strained, but managed to last before she felt she needed more and
found a new boyfiend.

end result?  she and i are no longer speaking.  the group of (4) friends
we had in high school, all now living on the upper east side of
manhattan, are not speaking to me.

she broke up with me on 8 dec 91.  i haven't dated since then, for several
reasons.  the main one is, friends are hard to come by.  i can't afford
to lose them that quickly.

>But I don't recall a woman on soc.singles saying the same thing. Is
>this friend/lover thing a particular male perception?

the only answer i can give to that is,  the guy she's now dating
was one of her closest friends from college.

>How do the criteria that women have for friends and lovers differ?
>(I know all women don't have the same answer, but I'm curious to see
>some responses.)

i'm not a woman, but i will say that my criteria are basically the same,
and that seems to present a problem.

p.s. there, stef.  are you happy?

--hymie
hymowitz@cs.jhu.edu                                         hymie@jhuvms.bitnet
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is no 'try.'  Only 'do.'  Or do not.
--Yoda
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: greg@netcom.com (Greg Bullough)
Subject: Re: 032 Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 92 22:46:37 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <66#nd7c.barry@netcom.com> barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry) writes:
>In article <92232.48427.6069870@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM> 6069870@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM writes:
>>In article <m70mw6l.barry@netcom.com> barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry) writes:
>>>	I wanna be a woman next time around.
>>
>>Why wait until next time around?
>
>	Still some "E" tickets in this body I wanna use up.
>
>						Kayembee

Then again, if you remember, really remember, what an "E" ticket is, 
you're on the way towards washed-up.
 
Greg


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Oh, no!  Statistics!  Run!!  :-)
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 92 18:10:48 GMT

In article <1992Aug18.033557.26217@nuchat.sccsi.com> kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
>
>  I can
>think of a couple of things to work on.  For instance, my body.  I
>can get in shape.  That'll take a lot of work, but it might be worth
>it.  It wouldn't be so bad if exercise weren't so damned *boring*.
>And it might *not* be worth it, either.  How do I figure out whether
>or not it is before I try it?

Well, then find an exercise that you don't find boring--bicycling can
be a relaxing and pleasant way to focus on some nice scenery that's
not in .gif format while improving your fitness; you like speed and
power, well, the experience of speed and power is more visceral on
a bicycle than in a Mustang.  (Plus it's a great sport if you have a
fondness for cleavage and toned legs.)

I do happen to like weightlifting--the concentration and degree of
involvement with your own body can be quite a sensation, almost
meditation-like in a way, while you're pushing your body to new
limits on a daily basis.  (And it gives me a chance to listen to
some of the CDs that I've bought that I hadn't gotten around to 
listening to yet.)

Try swimming, racquetball, co-ed softball, tennis, or any of the
other social sports that are out there--softball and ultimate
frisbee, in particular, seem to provide effective ways of meeting
MOTOS as well.

>Help!!!  I haven't a clue what to talk about with people!!!  The only
>reason I have friends at all is that there are lots of people (male, of
>course) who share my interests.  *These* people I can talk to.

Well, you can ask them what they do for a living and talk about that;
you can ask them what brings them to the place you're talking to them
in; you can as what their hobbies are or what they do for fun outside 
of work and talk about that.  If you run out of things to say, ask a
question that shows you're interested in them and give them a chance
to lead the conversation.

Trygve
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: BOINK! BOINK! BALLOONBOINK IN ALBUQUERQUE!
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 03:26:13 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <1992Aug18.173542.5801@asuvax.eas.asu.edu> ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes:

>johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>> ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes:
>> >I must say that either of the two sunsets 
>> >beats the piss out of California's.
>>  
>> Yea, but we've got a better view of the ocean.

>     For now.  Hehheh.

"And if California slides into the ocean,
 As the mystics and statictics sat it will,
 I predict this hotel will be standing,
 Until I've paid my bill."  -- Warren Zevon

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
The sun is gonna shine again / We're gonna make it 'round that bend
I'll walk another mile with you, 'cause you're my friend
The sun is gonna shine again.			- Graham Parker