Date: Tue, 14 Apr 92 19:30:4 EDT
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: joel@jellotrees.esd.sgi.com
Subject: An ad for TownBank (original)
Keywords: original, chuckle

This evening I got a phone call from my TownBank representative.  I'm
always happy to hear from my TownBank representative; they always have
so many useful suggestions.  Tonight was no exception.  I was offered
excellent financing on aluminum siding.  As usual, the TownBank
representative was well educated and informed.  When I explained that
I didn't feel that I needed aluminum siding for my apartment, he told
me that my landlord would probably cut my rent due to the savings on
utilities.  And besides, the TownBank financing package just couldn't
be beat.  Needless to say, my TownBank representative was right!  It
was an excellent deal!

After I sat back down to my cold dinner, I extolled the virtues of
TownBank to my family.  The TownBank representatives are always
willing to spend the time to explain the benefits of their programs to
me.  I've heard that time is money--you wouldn't know it with
TownBank.  What other organization takes the time to write down my
social security number when I'm making a purchase?  Now that's
service!  And TownBank treats me like a friend!  They call me several
times a month--more often than my mother!  And always with something
new and exciting.

Why just the other night they called me up to tell me about a fabulous
new TownBank credit card protection program.  Before they had called,
I hadn't realized that such a program existed, let alone that I needed
it.  But let me tell you, after the phone call, I rolled over and went
back to sleep much easier knowing I was safe.  As the TownBank
representative explained, if my card should be run over by a
bulldozer, the numbers would be flattened, and I couldn't use my card
any more.  But with the new TownBank credit card protection program,
TownBank guarantees that no matter how my card is damaged, they will
replace it in under 30 days.  And all for only $2.50 a month!  You can
bet I told my TownBank representative to sign me up!

VOICE OVER:
	At TownBank, we don't treat you like a customer, we treat you
	like our best friend.  We're always calling to let you know
	about our best deals.  And if we ever offer you something you
	don't feel you want, don't worry.  Our TownBank
	representatives will be glad to take all the time you need to
	explain the benefits to you.  And if you still aren't
	interested, that's OK too.  Well gladly call you up next week
	with an offer more to your liking.  At TownBank we work
	weekends!  We work through the night!  We even skip meals!  At
	TownBank, our time is your time!

Last weekend, my TownBank representative called to tell me about an
exciting new vacation program.  "Sign me up!", I told her.  When I cam
back from the phone, my family told me about the winning touch down,
and I told them about the great program I had signed us up for.  For
only the costs of transportation, food, and lodging, plus a nominal
10% handling fee, TownBank would arrange for us to go anywhere we
wanted, absolutely free!  And all for only $50 a year!  My family was
ecstatic!  See you this summer on the beaches of Kansas City!

VOICE OVER:
	Remember, your friends may come and go, but with TownBank,
	we'll always keep in touch!


				Joel Tesler



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