From: andra@cs.widener.edu (Robert Andracsek)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Purity Tests
Date: 4 Oct 1992 19:50:36 -0400
Organization: Widener University CS Department, Chester PA
NNTP-Posting-Host: betty.cs.widener.edu

Ok, people, here it is...  all 1000 questions of it...  no more requests...

THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y    T E S T
Version 5.1 (1000)
Final (?) Release
23-Nov-1990
_________________________________________________________________
_____
Public domain; no copyright.  All rights wronged, all wrongs
reversed.  Up with  going down.  The risen flesh commands:  let
there be love.  Murphy's law on sex:  Love is a matter of
chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.  Chaste makes waste. 
Virginity can be cured.
_________________________________________________________________
______
Purity Test Genesis/History:
        Version 1 (100) 
Created at MIT's Baker House.  Two parallel versions; one for
male, and one for female.  Not much is known about this version. 
It was ported to CMU by ps in 1982.
        Version 2 (247) Spring 1983 
CMU/jb, pd, kr, ps, ts, mt, et al. Expanded to 247 questions. 
This marked the beginning of the unisex versions. The story goes
that they intended it to be 250 questions, but got tired that
night and said  "we'll  think of three more tomorrow", and
tomorrow never got there.
        Version 3.3C.1 (400) on 05-Dec-1984
First  formal  release  general of the test, version 3.xx. All
former versions were short-lived and tended to be bug-ridden.
Does not discriminate against gays or bi's. Good correspondence
of  scores (especially in the higher score ranges) between this
version and version 2. Added Genesis/History section.
        Version 3.4 (400) on 29-Jan-1985
Internal version;  never  released.  Source  code  accidentally
destroyed,  much  to  the  consternation of one of the authors.
Cleaned up many bugs. Added sections: Disclaimer of  Liability,
Instructions for Use, Scoring, and Warranty Information.
        Version 3.5 (400) on 10-Apr-1985
Rebuilt from the 3.3C.1 source and the 3.4 (only surviving copy)
Xerox X9700 laser printer hard copy.  Cleaned up same bugs in
3.4; wiped out a duplicate question.  Added in verbose history
section.
        Version 3.5A (400) on 13-Apr-1985
CMU/da, fa, tc, no, dt, sv, rz, et al. Found  that  we  had  431 
questions  instead  of 400. Version 3.5B (400) on 18-Mar-1986:
Yale (Pierson College)/ as Intermediate release, with footnotes
integrated into main body of text and some grammatical errors
cleaned up.  Begun in Fall, 1985; finished in April for the
benefit of a friend at MIT (where it all began), who hadn't seen
any versions except the antique Version 1.0
        Version 3.5C (400) on 17-Jan-1988
Yale (Pierson College)/mmd (CLARINET@YALEVM). Grammatical errors
corrected.  Introduction and history cleaned up.
        Version 4.0 (500) on 23-April-1988
Yale (Silliman College)/dfc, ad, dcg, mlm, and Dartmouth (Alpha
Theta)/alb.  Original 400-question version expanded to 500
questions. Obtained at UVa spring 1990.
        Version 5.0 (1000) "Perverts Anonymous Qualification Exam
(PURITY TEST II) Ver 2.2.75 12:38:34.88 14.IIII.90" Found in
Usenet newsgroup alt.sex, and downloaded. Original author's
identity lost to save space. If you are the original author,
consider an apology given, but the damn thing isn't copyrightable
anyway- see disclaimer and a lawyer on "look and feel"
copyrights. Obtained UVa fall 1990.
        Version 5.1 (1000) Minor revisions made, and put into word
perfect format by some Damn fool editor who felt like it, also
"anonymous."
Instructions for Use:
        This is a fairly long test consisting of one thousand
questions.  It starts out tame and gets progressively worse (or
better, depending on your viewpoint). There are many ways of
going about taking this test.  You can, of course, as your right,
guaranteed by the Constitution, be anti-social and sequester
yourself in your room and take this test all by yourself;
however, we feel that the finest way to utilize this test is to
hold a Purity Test Party.  All you need is one copy of the test,
and a bunch of friends.  (Lots of writing implements and paper
would be useful too; xeroxing the answer sheet reduces the
general paper need, but leaves evidence.)  The person with the
copy of the test is the test administrator; s/he reads the
questions out loud and everybody else writes down their answers. 
We have no definite rules as to whether the participants are
required to divulge their answers; that is up to the group to
decide.  However, each person's purity score should be made
common knowledge.  (The person with the highest score gets to be
giggled at for the rest of his/her life, or until they correct
this.)  This works great at parties and lets everybody know who's
easy and who isn't, so you'll know who to go home with.  Don't
leave home without it.

        We would now like to bring to your attention that there is
no passing nor failing score.  Therefore, one really shouldn't
worry too much about getting a high score...  even if you do get
giggled at for the rest of your life.

        On the whole, this is biased for experience and, hence, age.
If you're still too young to qualify, well, these things take
time. Remember: the conjugation is "I am erotic, You are kinky,
They are perverted."
DEFINITIONS: (for the innocent, naive, or too busy)

All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened
to you subsequent to your weaning and babyhood/infancy.  Anything
that may have happened before that time is considered not
standing and void.

        Mutual masturbation: refers to someone masturbating you
AND/OR you masturbating someone else, not exclusively both at the
same time.

        Necking: the kissing or stroking of a persons head or neck,
the stroking of arms hands or back.

        Petting: the above plus the caressing or fondling of other
portions of anatomy; through or underneath clothing.

        Sexual activity: all of the above, plus what your puerile
imagination dreams up.

        "Having sex" in the homosexual case: homosexual sex has
occurred when both partners are of the same sex and one of the
partners has an orgasm while there is some contact between the
genitals of both partners.

        Posslq : "person of the opposite sex sharing living
quarters." Bureaucrat for live-in lover.

        Thought about doing: Given serious consideration as to
doing, not just a passing thought.

Most of all, this is entertainment. Have as much fun in the
taking as was had in the making. And yes, technicalities count.
  I   Good Clean, 'Wholesome' Activities

Have you:

  1.hugged somebody?
  2.kissed a friend or stranger as a friendly gesture?
  3.kissed a friend or stranger as an unfriendly gesture?
  4.held hands with someone?
  5.been on a date?
  6.been on a date past one a.m.?
  7.stood someone up?
  8.dated someone on a regular basis?
  9.slam danced?
 10.slow danced?
 11.copped a feel while slow dancing?
 12.tangoed?
 13.waltzed?
 14.french kissed?
 15.necked?
 16.attended sub races, watched for UFO's, or similar activity?
 17.hot tubbed in mixed company (jacuzzi or hydropool)?
 18.hot tubbed in the nude?
 19.hot tubbed in the nude in mixed company?
 20.while hot tubbing been groped under the water?
 21.while hot tubbing groped someone under the water?
 22.saunaed or steam bathed in mixed company?
 23.saunaed or steam bathed in the nude?
 24.saunaed or steam bathed in the nude in mixed company?
 25.put suntan lotion, cocoa butter, or baby oil on someone (at
beach or pool)?
 26.had someone put suntan lotion, cocoa butter, or baby oil on
you?
 27.played post office (or other kissing game)?
 28.played pony express (post office with more horsing around)?
 29.played Twister?  (Extra point for Naked Twister)
 30.been picked up?
 31.picked someone up?
 32.picked up sailors (marines, soldiers)?
 33.had a one night stand?
 34.been hit by a thrown chalk eraser (by the teacher)?
 35.been in intellectual combat with an unarmed person, and not
given them a running head start?
 36.been on a pub crawl?
 37.slept on watch?
 38.slept in your undies?
 39.slept in the nude?
 40.slept in class?
 41.interrupted a lecture with your snoring?
 42.bundled (archaic, the sharing of sleeping arrangements by
persons of the opposite sex while clothed. In theory, nothing
goes on.)?
 43.played footsie or 'kneesie'?
 44.played footsie or 'kneesie' with someone not your date,
significant other or spouse?
 45.been unable to share a bed, sleeping bag or other sleeping
arrangements without something steamy happening?
 46.used tickling as a pickup or getting to know you better
activity?
 47.lusted in your heart for someone without their knowledge?
 48.been in or started a food fight?
 49.photocopied parts of your body, such as your face, hands or
feet?
 50.read the Song of Solomon?
 51.read The National Geographic?
 52.played doctor?
 53.kissed and told?
 54.been unable to cuss someone out in language acceptable in
polite society (e.g. is your cursing run of the mill, or do you
have some class)?
 55.used 'fuck' or 'shit' as a noun, adverb, adjective, pronoun,
infix, suffix, prefix or prepositional article in a sentence?
 56.done something that you don't want someone to know about
(parents, employer, boy/girlfriend, spouse, roommate)?
 57.never been amused about something you thought too
embarrassing to explain to another?
 58.cussed in your sleep?
 59.worn a strapless gown?
 60.skipped class?
 61.skipped class with teacher?
 62.refused to be with someone because they whistled dirty songs?
 63.been a bore?
 64.been bar hopping?
 65.been overcome by celibacy and didn't like it?
 66.been to a cocktail party?
 67.drank beer because you liked to piss?
 68.dyed a pet strange colors (green, pink or purple)?
 69.dyed your hair an outrageous color (deliberately)?
II   Autoerotica (No, it doesn't mean 'love of cars')

Have you:

 70.scratched and sniffed any catalog?
 71.had an arousing or sexually explicit dream (Wet dreams and
the like)?
 72.read or bought erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit
periodicals?
 73.read or bought pornographic material that might be described
as really gross?
 74.subscribed to any erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit
periodicals? (include newsgroups such as alt.sex,
alt.sex.whatever)
 75.read erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit books?
 76.read classic pornographic books (Candy, Fanny Hill, Naked
Came the Stranger)?
 77.been bored while reading erotic, pornographic or sexually
explicit literature?
 78.been afraid you were slipping into monogamy?
 79.written erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit literature
(lust letters count)?
 80.misspelled 'dirty' words, or misspelled other words as
'dirty' words?
 81.read any sex manuals (e.g. Joy of Sex, More Joy of Sex,
Everything you always wanted to Know about Sex (but were afraid
to ask))?
 82.read Krafft-Ebing's Psychopathia Sexualis?
 83.read the Kama Sutra?
 84.read any Presidential report on obscenity?
 85.underlined, or marked 'good' parts?
 86.made an obscene phone call anonymously (to someone you didn't
know)?
 87.received an anonymous obscene phone call?
 88.received an obscene phone call and had it turned you on?
 89.called any recorded phone sex number (The 976 numbers)?
 90.called any live sex numbers?
 91.recorded an obscene call for later playback?
 92.worked at a live phone sex number?
 93.masturbated?
 94.masturbated more than four times in 24 hours?
 95.masturbated on a regular basis (more than once a week)?
 96.masturbated to orgasm?
 97.fantasized about someone while masturbating?
 98.fantasized while masturbating that you were of the opposite
sex?
 99.masturbated while reading erotic, pornographic or sexually
     explicit literature?
100.masturbated while reading textbooks (biology or human
sexuality don't count)?
101.masturbated while watching an R or X rated movie in private
(cable, videotape, or film)?
102.masturbated while watching an R or X rated movie in public (a
theater)?
103.been "caught" masturbating?
104.adjusted your genitals in public (you'd think they'd be set
at the factory)?
105.affected an accent (SCA or Theater doesn't count)?
106.asked a female friend, of her new male friend, '.. is he
hung'?
107.sent a strip o gram?
108.done a strip tease for someone?
109.been to a burlesque show (Rocky Horror counts)?
110.participated in a Rocky Horror Picture Show production
(costume etc)?
111.been to a peep show?
112.been to a live sex show?
113.been to a erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit movie?
114.been to a private showing of a erotic, pornographic or
sexually explicit movie (The classic 'stag' party, even if you're
female)?
115.held a private showing of an erotic, pornographic or sexually
explicit movie?
116.practiced autoerotic asphyxia (trying to heighten your sexual
pleasure through semi-suffocation)?
117.bought or made a codpiece or padded bra?
118.worn a codpiece or padded bra?
119.wished you were of the opposite sex?
120.decided that if you were to be of the opposite sex you'd want
to be homosexual?
121.had a friend of the opposite sex that you traded clothes
with?
122.had a sex change operation?
123.worn clothing that was "revealing" (either of your figure, or
that emphasized 'strategic' locations)?
124.worn clothing that you didn't know was THAT revealing (like
the seat has ripped out or such)?
125.gone for more than one day in the same set of underwear?
126.been in public without wearing underwear?
127.photocopied personal portions of your anatomy (tits, ass or
genitals)?
128.programmed a computer to orgasm (yours or theirs, doesn't
matter)?
129.cruised (in an automobile)?
130.cruised the bars?
131.cruised the gay bars?
132.cruised the leather bars?

  III   Ethical Considerations

Have you:

133.plotted to murder someone (commission is covered LATER)?
134.told bad jokes?
135.made puns?
136.made puns on obscenities (e.g. "Knock knock." "Who's there?"
"Fornication." "Fornication who?" "Fornication like this you
should wear a black tie.")?
137.told shaggy dog stories?
138.flubbed a punch line?
139.held a grudge?
140.recited limericks?
141.served cheap booze?
142.passed cheap booze as the expensive stuff?
143.not paid your library fines?
144.lied?
145.been in adultery (technically it's only if you were married,
but counts if you weren't)?
146.started a fight?
147.started a bar fight?
148.started a brawl?
149.instigated a raid (panty or otherwise)?
150.instigated a border raid?
151.instigated a border war?
152.watched Benny Hill, Monty Python, Dr. Ruth, Donahue, Geraldo
or Oprah?
153.watched prime time soaps?
154.not considered living together without benefit of clergy or
legal sanction a sin (can't live in sin if you don't believe in
it)?
155.not respected the sanctity of living in sin (e.g., hit up on
someone regardless of whether they lived with another)?
156.implied greater or lesser (non-sexual) experience than you
actually possessed?
157.implied greater or lesser sexual experience than you actually
possessed?
158.had sex with someone whose name you didn't know at the time?
159.had sex with someone whose name you still don't know?
160.had sex with someone whose name you don't remember?
161.had sex with someone whose language you don't (or didn't)
know?
162.had sex with someone whose name you didn't want to know?
163.had sexual activity with someone ten or more years younger
than you?
164.had sexual activity with someone ten or more years older than
you?
165.had sex with someone half your age?
166.had sex with someone twice your age?
167.had sex with someone for revenge (on them, on their current
or ex-, on your current or ex-)?
168.lied about how old you were for purposes of sexual activity?
169.lied about how old you were in order to obtain alcohol?
170.broken your word, vow or promise?
171.told someone you loved them when you did not?
172.were nice to someone in hopes of having sex with them?
173.told someone that you loved them strictly because you wanted
sex with them?
174.fantasized during sexual activity about somebody other than
the one present during sexual activity?
175.fantasized during sexual activity that you were somebody
else?
176.faked orgasm (guys too)?
177.told them they were great when they weren't?
178.intentionally 'eavesdropped' while others were engaged in
sexual activity?
179.plotted conspiracy?
180.shown erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit movies or
videos to get someone in the mood?
181.used alcohol to lower someone's inhibitions about sexual
activity (yours included)?
182.used another drug to lower someone's inhibitions about sexual
activity (yours included)?
183.dipped into capital (been unable to live on one's investment
income. An 'Old Money' no-no. If you have to ask the answer is
'no.')?
184.traded on inside information?
185.ignored someone because you didn't want to admit you had had
sex with them?
186.wanted something or someone that someone else has, simply
because they have it and you don't (coveted)?
187.gone steady with two or more people with one person unaware
of the other(s)?
188.gone steady with two or more people with all aware of the
other(s)?
189.implied having had sex with someone when you hadn't?
190.denied having sex with someone when you had (not telling your
parents is merely survival, and doesn't count)?
191.gossiped?
192.been in military service?
193.put an ad in the persons to persons?
194.put an ad for a sex partner?
195.advertised for a sex partner including a photograph?
196.answered an advert for a sex partner?
197.exited through a window because someone came home
unexpectedly?
198.taken someone someplace to be seen in their company?
199.taken someone someplace to be seen in their company by
someone in particular?
200.been in a wet t-shirt contest?
201.judged a wet t-shirt contest?
202.given your kids humorous unusual names (Shanda Lear, Laurel
Ann Hardy)?
203.given your cat or dog a mohawk or a punk hairdo?
204.given your kids unusual names (Dweezel)?
205.gone to a scary movie as an excuse to get close to someone?
206.fed live animals to pets (e.g. baby chicks to the pit bull)?
207.fed someone 'tref' (i.e. non-kosher food. Only counts if they
were keeping kosher at the time)?
208.mixed meat and dairy?
209.eaten 'tref' (i.e. non-kosher food. Only counts if you were
keeping kosher at the time)?
210.eaten during daylight during Ramadan?
211.eaten red meat on Friday (an old Roman Catholic no-no)?
212.fed someone dog food?
213.been in a gross out contest?
214.been in a gross out contest, and won?
215.hired someone more for their looks?
216.wife-(or husband)swapped?
217.wanted to trade them in for a working model?
218.been willing to trade 'em off cheap?
219.told somebody something "for their own good"?
220.had sex without the use of a birth control method more
effective than prayer (Oh God don't let me/her get pregnant)?
221.had sex without the use of even prayer (They call people who
do this frequently "parents".)?
222.welshed on a bet or wager?
223.offered sexual favors as payoff for a wager?
224.offered another's sexual favors as payoff for your wager?
225.feared that you might be (or caused someone to be)
unintentionally pregnant?
226.always accepted sex (never refused it regardless of race,
creed, color, religion, age, gender or condition)?
227.found out you were (or caused someone to be) unintentionally
pregnant?
228.offered sex for money or other consideration (a better grade,
raise, "services rendered")?
229.had sex with someone who was merely doing you a favor?
230.demanded sex for money or other consideration ("Put out or
walk"/"I'll scream if you don't" are but the more blatant forms)?
231.coerced someone into having sex with you (you were going to
be impossible to be with unless your hormone level was lowered)?
232.accepted sex for money or other consideration (a better
grade, raise, "services rendered")?
233.offered a sympathy fuck?
234.offered a sympathy fuck, and been rejected?
235.drank all but the last quarter inch from the milk carton or
water bottle and put it back in the cooler (so you wouldn't have
to refill it)?
236.attempted to corrupt someone's morals?
237.attempted to corrupt someone's morals and discover it is too
late?
238.attempted to corrupt someone's morals only to discover they
know things you don't?
239.woke up the next morning with the computer keyboard on your
pillow (you might be programming too much)?
240.tried to convince your partner that intercourse would help
prevent/relieve cramps?
241.tried to convince your partner that oral sex was good for the
complexion?
242.considered sperm a protein supplement?
243.questioned someone about their sex life when they were
incapable of not answering (e.g. they were truly wasted, or
talking in their sleep)?
244.questioned a significant other about their sex life when they
were incapable of not answering?
245.used whatever they said against them?
246.kited checks?

IV.   Legal technicalities

Have you:

247.deliberately bounced a check?
248.shoplifted?
249.'borrowed' something of value with no intention of returning
it ("borrowing" kleenex, condoms or tampons, doesn't count)?
250.written graffiti?
251.committed murder? (SEE, I said it was covered later.)
252.attempted to commit suicide?
253.succeeded? (Note: Only the attempt actually is illegal;
success isn't.)
254.had a fake id?
255.manufactured fake id?
256.speeded (automotive, not pharmaceutical)?
257.drag raced (on the street)?
258.driven without a license?
259.driven while suspended?
260.bought or sold anything on a black market?
261.stolen any item or cash?
262.stolen a kiss?
263.used bootleg software?
264.plotted felony (that's conspiracy and may count)?
265.operated a vehicle or piece of heavy machinery while
intoxicated?
266.plotted treason (betrayal of state secrets)?
267.lead someone to believe they were the father when they
weren't?
268.lead someone to believe they weren't the father when they
were?
269.been liable for arrest on a morals charge (pandering,
pimping, prostitution, impersonating a human being)?
270.been a pool, card or chess shark?
271.been to a dog or cock fight?
272.incited to riot?
273.plotted a coup (civic class doesn't count)?
274.committed sedition (plotting to overthrow the government)?
275.committed sedation (bored an audience to sleep)?
276.committed treason?
277.been thought politically unreliable?
278.been thought politically reliable?
279.sacked, looted, raped, pillaged or burned (The Barbarian
Pentathlon: sacked= captured a city, castle, other semi-fortified
location for the sake of it's wealth; looted= taken selected
portions of the wealth; raped= forced sex with the inhabitants;
pillaged= taken everything of value indiscriminately; burned= set
fire to it)?
280.bought alcohol for minors?
281.sent a chain letter?
282.started a chain letter?
283.made unregistered explosive devices (bombs)?
284.made or acquired 'elint' (electronic intelligence) equipment
(bugs)?
285.installed or used 'elint' equipment (wiretaps, tape
recorders, etc)?
286.been in the badger game?
287.stayed for a second feature having paid only for the first?
288.removed the tag that says "do not remove under penalty of
law"?
289.rode public transportation w/o paying?
290.raised tuition/rent by streetwalking?
291.pistol whipped someone?
292.been a bigamist?
293.carried concealed weapons?
294.evaded taxes?
295.evaded custom duties by not declaring something subject to a
duty or tax?
296.had someone buy you alcohol while you were still a minor?
297.been cited in divorce proceedings as the other woman/man?
298.been cited in divorce proceedings as the other woman/man and
wish you actually were?
299.deliberately failed to pay child support?
300.bought your own alcohol while still a minor?
301.been drunk while still a minor?
302.had sexual activity while under the age of consent
(masturbation doesn't count)?
303.had sexual activity while under the age of consent with
someone over the age of consent?
304.had sexual activity since reaching the age of consent with
someone under the age of consent?
305.plagiarized?
306.been to a "public bath"?
307.patronized a prostitute?
308.been to a "massage parlor"?
309.been to a brothel as a customer?
310.been to a brothel as an employee?
311.contracted a 'social' disease (not just the common cold)?
312.contracted mono?
313.been treated for exposure to a STD (sexually transmitted
disease) because someone you'd been with had been?
314.had sex with someone knowing you had been exposed to a STD?
315.had sex with someone knowing they had been exposed to a STD?
316.gotten a 'frequent flier' bonus at the free clinic?

V   Things to do and people to do them with. (The nitty and the
gritty)

Are you now, or have you ever been...

317.engaged in heterosexual activity (with a member of the
opposite sex)?
318. If you answered 'Yes' to #317, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you considered doing so?
319.engaged in homosexual activity (with a member of your sex)?
320. If you answered 'Yes' to #319, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
321.engaged in incestuous activity (with a member of your
family)?
322. If you answered 'Yes' to #321, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
323.engaged in homosexual incest (with a member of your family
and gender)?
324. If you answered 'Yes' to #323, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
325.engaged in bisexual activity (defined here as sexual activity
with both genders on a relatively even ratio for the period of
time in question)?
326. If you answered 'Yes' to #325, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
327.engaged in bestiality (sex with non-humans, not the merely
sub human)?
328. If you answered 'Yes' to #327, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
329.engaged in xeno-eroticism (sexual activity with alien life
forms)?
330. If you answered 'Yes' to #329, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
331.engaged in pedophilia (sexual activity with pre-teenage
children)?
332. If you answered 'Yes' to #331, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
333.engaged in bondage ('voluntarily', you had some control on
initiation.)?
334. If you answered 'Yes' to #333, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
335.engaged in sodomy (defined as either: 1) copulation with a
member of the same sex or with animals or 2) non-coital
intercourse, esp anal or oral copulation with the opposite sex)?
336. practiced zipitage (picking other people's zits)?
337. If you answered 'Yes' to #336, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
338. performed analingus ("oral stimulation of the anus")?
339. If you answered 'Yes' to #338, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
340. crossed dressed (dressing in clothing of the opposite sex),
other than for a costume party?
341. If you answered 'Yes' to #340, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
342. crossed dressed for a party or as a joke and discovered you
liked it?
343. If you answered 'Yes' to #342, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
344. practiced necrophilia (sex with the dead)?
345. If you answered 'Yes' to #344, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
346.practiced zombiphilia (sex with the undead)?
347.had a leather fetish?
348.had a rubber fetish (insisting on the use of rubbers doesn't
qualify)?
349.performed anal intercourse ("That'd have to be in the butt,
Bob")?
350. if you answered 'Yes' to #349, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
351.cause another person pain for your pleasure (it's called
sadism)?
352. If you answered 'Yes' to #351, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
353.had another inflict pain on you for your own pleasure (it's
called masochism)?
354. If you answered 'Yes' to #353, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
355.tied up a masochist and refused to cause them pain (its
called cruel)?
356.used Schedule I (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (synthetic
opiates, meth-amphetamines, marijuana, hallucinogens, LSD)? (with
over 145 drugs scheduled, we're not listing them all... here.
Contact for a catalog.)
357. If you answered 'Yes' to #356, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
358.used Schedule II (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (opium, coca
leaf products (Coca Cola is doesn't count))?
359. If you answered 'Yes' to #358, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
360.used Schedule III (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (barbiturates,
lysergic acid, amphetamine)?
361. If you answered 'Yes' to #360, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
362.used Schedule IV (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (Barbital,
chloral Hydrate, Phenobarbital)?
363. If you answered 'Yes' to #362, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
364.abused Schedule V (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (codeine)?
365. If you answered 'Yes' to #364, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
366.intentionally urinated on someone (it's called 'golden
showers', 'water sports', or piss fights)?
367. If you answered 'Yes' to #366, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
368.intentionally defecated on someone (it's called sick)?
369. If you answered 'Yes' to #368, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
370.intentionally urinated on yourself?
371. If you answered 'Yes' to #370, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
372.intentionally defecated on yourself?
373. If you answered 'Yes' to #372, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
374.mutilated animals for your own pleasure?
375. If you answered 'Yes' to #374, would you do it again; if
'No,' have you thought about it?
376.flirted?
377.flirted with in-laws?


VI   Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll

Have you:

378.considered the song "I want to hold you hand" suggestive?
379.considered "why don't we do it in the road" a reasonable
question?
380.been intoxicated from alcohol?
381.been intoxicated from some other drug?
382.been intoxicated from a controlled or illicit drug?
383.introduced someone to 'drugs' in general?
384.introduced someone to a new (to them) drug?
385.used over the counter drugs for purposes of getting
intoxicated?
386.taken any drug that you weren't sure what it was, just to
find out what it does (foolish you)?
387.used prescription drugs that you didn't 'need' or have the
prescription for ("abused" a controlled substance)?
388.bought or sold a controlled or illicit drug?
389.bought or sold a controlled or illicit drug, wholesale?
390.sold as a controlled or illicit drug a non-drug item (burned
somebody)?
391.bought a controlled or illicit drug in bulk for personal use?
392.frequently bought controlled or illicit drugs in bulk for
personal use (like weekly or there about)?
393.had a standing order with your supplier?
394.taken a non-prescription opiate (heroin, morphine, or opium)
more than 4 times?
395.ingested cocaine (bolivian marching powder)?
396.smoked crack?
397.freebased?
398.chugged?
399.sniffed glue?
400.smoked the killer weed (tobacco)?
401.smoked the killer weed (marijuana)?
402.smoked the killer weed (oregano)?
403.smoked banana peels?
404.smoked clove cigarettes?
405.chewed tobacco, or snuff?
406.gargled with hard liquor (No more mediciny breath!)?
407.had alcohol for breakfast?
408.drank Coke & nutmeg?
409.drank Coke & aspirin?
410.made Alice B. Toklas Cookies (marijuana or hash brownies)?
411.eaten Alice B. Toklas Cookies?
412.inhaled nitrous oxide (laughing gas) for recreational
purposes?
413.injected any non-prescription drug into yourself?
414.injected any non-prescription drug into yourself on more than
one occasion?
415.injected more than one non-prescription drug simultaneously
into yourself?
416.injected more than one non-prescription drug simultaneously
into yourself on more than one occasion?
417.injected any non-prescription drug into someone else?
418.injected any non-prescription drug into someone else on more
than one occasion?
419.injected more than one non-prescription drug simultaneously
into someone else?
420.injected more than one non-prescription drug simultaneously
into someone else on more than one occasion?
421.spiked a punch with alcohol?
422.spiked a punch with other drugs?
423.taken any synthetic hallucinogen (MDA, STP, Deep Purple, or
Sandoz)?
424.did you understand the examples in the last question?
425.ingested any 'natural' hallucinogen (peyote, mescaline,
'shrooms, ergot)?
426.had a bad trip?
427.gotten a bad batch?
428.taken hallucinogens for enlightenment, or other philosophical
reason?
429.taken PCP or other veterinary drug?
430.taken any 'designer' drugs?
431.used the list of controlled drugs as a checklist (USC title
21, sec 812)?
432.been to a rock concert?
433.been to a heavy metal concert?
434.been to a Frank Zappa rock concert?
435.been to a Barry Manilow concert?
436.listened to acid rock?
437.listened to acid rock while on acid?
438.been a groupie?
439.been a roadie?
440.thought about starting a band to meet groupies?
441.thought about starting a band to get good dope?
442.told someone you were with the band?
443.told someone you were with the band, and it worked?
444.played records backwards to hear the secret messages?
445.found the secret message recorded backwards on an album?
446.sung dirty songs, the kind with no subtlety in the lyrics
(e.g. Let's get drunk and Screw)?
447.sung bawdy songs (e.g. Polka Dot Undies, Do your ears hang
low, the Bottle Song)?
448.composed bawdy lyrics?
449.done speed or meth-amphetamine?
450.made or synthesized your own drugs?
451.made or synthesized drugs, 'commercially' (been the lab)?
452.grown your own?
453.bred your own?
454.bought "moonshine" (any alcoholic beverage made outside the
Federal limit of 200 gallons annually for personal consumption)?
455.brewed your own?
456.had sex while stoned or drunk?
457.used any drug when you were to wasted to know if it had any
effect (e.g. smoked pot while blitzed)?
458.taken mood altering drugs without prescription (valium or
quaalude)?
459.been told you had sex the night before and you can't recall a
thing?
460.awaken the next morning wondering where you were?
461.awaken the next morning wondering if you had a good time?
462.awaken the next morning wondering where you were, and who's
that next to you?
463.awaken the next morning wondering who you were?
464.felt like the Three Bears (who's been sleeping in my bed)?
465.felt like Baby Bear (who's that sleeping in my bed)?
466.ever thrown up from too much alcohol (a.k.a. driven the
porcelain bus, blown chips, tossing your cookies, the technicolor
yawn, praying to the porcelain god, called for the car (There's
Ralph's Buick))?
467.ever had blackouts (periods where you don't remember what
happened)?
468.been hung over?
469.had a hangover last more than one days?
470.taken the hair of the dog that bit you?


VII   The Erotic, the Kinky, the Tacky and the possibly Perverted

Have you:

471.been a member of a fraternity or sorority?
472.said "I'm normal, its everyone else that's weird?
473.told dirty jokes in mixed company?
474.Discussed masturbation?
475.french kissed below the waist?
476.Discussed oral sex techniques (In general, not as part of a
lesson)?
477.asked for instructions in oral sex techniques (again, lecture
not lab)?
478.given lessons in oral sex techniques ("Pay attention, I'm
only going to do this once...!")?
479.demonstrated oral sex techniques with a "visual aid" (carrot,
cucumber or taco)?
480.demonstrated oral sex techniques with an assistant?
481.demonstrated oral sex techniques for more than one person at
a time?
482.played any game which required the removal of clothing (strip
poker, Monopoly or Chess)?
483.deliberately lost a game which required the removal of
clothing (folding with four aces)?
484.owned a collection of underwear not your own?
485.been attracted to someone more by an article of their
clothing than by their body?
486.been a voyeur (without their knowledge)?
487.accepted an invitation to watch?
488.made an invitation to watch?
489.disrobed in public?
490.been to a nude beach?
491.sunned your buns or tanned your can?
492.paraded about in the nude (sprints don't count, nor does
while searching for undies)?
493.been sad because someone you knew was getting married?
494.been sad because someone you knew was getting married and now
you'd never get to sleep with them?
495.used your hair for the sexual arousal of others (beards
count)?
496.searched for the G-spot?
497.searched for the G-spot and found it?
498.told him he had when he hadn't but you just wanted him out?
499.rooted for the Klingons?
500.felt sad because Skywalker killed the Emperor?
501.rooted for the Wicked Witch?
502.contemplated the political, social and geometric
possibilities of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?
503.wondered where Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty to wake
her up?
504.wondered about the sex life of Smurfette (the only female on
the whole damn show)?
505.accidentally entered a public restroom of the opposite
gender?
506.accidentally entered a public restroom of the opposite
gender, not realizing it till you were through?
507.intentionally entered a public restroom of the opposite
gender (how else can you read the graffiti)?
508.won the pig pen award for your floor, dorm,
fraternity/sorority, college or state?
509.pissed on an electric fence?
510.streaked, flashed or otherwise intentionally displayed your
body to the general public (without pay, topless dancing doesn't
count)?
511.streaked, flashed or otherwise intentionally displayed your
body to the general public as part of the job (modeling doesn't
count)?
512.posed nude or semi nude for private drawings, paintings or
photographs as a 'favor'?
513.posed nude or semi nude in public (e.g. art classes) as a
'favor'?
514.posed as a model for purposes of erotic, pornographic or
sexually explicit art?
515.asked someone to pose nude or semi nude for private drawings,
paintings or photographs as a 'favor'?
516.asked someone to pose nude or semi nude in public (e.g. art
classes) as a 'favor'?
517.asked someone to pose for erotic, pornographic or sexually
explicit art or photographs?
518.asked someone to pose for erotic, pornographic or sexually
explicit photographs and there was no film in the camera?
519.made lewd, licentious or suggestive gestures while dancing in
public?
520.helped to cover for someone's escapades (provide alibi,
accommodations, opportunity)?
521.been besieged by someone who thought they could satisfy you
and make an honest person of you?
522.been late to work, class or an appointment because you were
involved in sexual activity?
523.read anything by the Marquis de Sade?
524.drank blood?
525.been nicknamed for a behavior pattern of yours ('Sleepy')?
526.been nicknamed for an aberrant behavior pattern of yours
('Sleazy')?
527.been interrupted by the police while necking, and they were
more embarrassed than you?
528.been an exhibitionist?
529.had sexual activity with siblings (brothers or sisters not
your own, not necessarily simultaneous)?
530.had sexual activity simultaneously with both (or however
many) siblings?
531.had sexual activity with a parent and child, not your own
(mother/daughter, father/son, mother/son, father/daughter)?
532.both at the same time?
533.shaved your head?
534.shaved your pubic region (pits don't count)?
535.have someone else shave your pubic region?
536.shaved someone else's pubic region?
537.had sex during menstruation?
538.had oral sex with a menstruating woman?
539.mooned or goosed someone you knew?
540.mooned or goosed someone you didn't know?
541.mooned or goosed someone you thought you knew?
542.stimulated your partner anally (with your finger, vibrator or
whatnot)?
543.been stimulated anally (with a finger, vibrator or whatnot)?
544.had a spouse, posslq, or date leave you for someone of their
gender (e.g. your husband left you for another man)?
545.left a spouse, posslq, or date for someone of your gender?
546.picked your nose in public?
547.picked someone else's nose (in private, we don't want to know
about your perversions)?
548.had someone else pick your nose?
549.sexually harassed someone (e.g. made unwanted sexual
advances)?
550.graded someone's act of sexual harassment?
551.handed out condoms as party favors?
552.discussed favorite brand of condom?
553.comparison shopped for condoms (plain or ribbed)?
554.inflated a condom?
555.chosen a condom or spermicide for its taste (or lack of)?
556.bought condoms by the case (wholesale, not just the 'family
pack')?
557.bought any other birth control item (contraceptive jelly or
foam, or the pill)?
558.bought any other birth control item in bulk (the Pill, unless
you got it for more than one month at a time, doesn't count)?
559.used Coke as a contraceptive douche?
560.carried a condom "just in case"?
561.tasted your own sexual fluids?
562.tasted another's sexual fluids?
563.complimented someone on their taste?
564.been complimented on your taste?
565.had your ears pierced?
566.had your nose pierced?
567.pierced someone else's ears?
568.worn body paint?
569.worn obscene or suggestive t-shirts?
570.worn t-shirts with obscene or graphic messages in a language
you didn't read?
571.written dirty fortune cookie fortunes?
572.have you a tattoo?
573.have you an 'obscene' tattoo (words or pictures)?
574.have you a tattoo normally concealed by your clothing (George
Schultz has a tiger on his butt)?
575.Have you a tattoo in an intimate location?
576.have you a tattoo normally concealed by your pubic hair?
577.used any object, longer than it is wide, for sexual purposes
(Coke bottle, rolling pin or feather duster)?
578.used a feather or other tickling device for the sexual
arousal of someone?
579.been to a funeral as a form of entertainment (ala Harold of
"Harold & Maude")?
580.Do you consider sex the price a woman has to pay for being
married ('just close your eyes and think of England')?
581.used whipped cream for sexual purposes?
582.put gravy, syrup, honey or other spreadable food on your
partner and licked or eaten it (things go better with butter)?
583.had spreadable food put on you and eaten, or licked off?
584.used a vibrator for sexual stimulation?
585.bought ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
586.given or received ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
587.asked someone to wear a particular article of clothing not
because it was 'sexy' but because it turned you on?
588.tried to figure out the words to "Louie Louie"?
589.Been to a John Water's film (Pink Flamingos, anything
starring Divine)?
590.more than once?
591.seen Eraserhead?
592.more than once?
593.thought of becoming a Veterinary because your first love died
of hoof & mouth?
594.had sex with a dead animal?
595.had sex in the presence of animals?
596.thought of becoming a vegetarian because the saddest day in
you life was when your first love was sent to market?
597.thought to make a contribution to science in similar fashion
to Madame D'Stael?
598.urinated anywhere other than in an acceptable location or
receptacle (i.e. in a sink, fireplace or wastepaper basket)?
599.defecated anywhere other than in an acceptable location or
receptacle (i.e. in a fireplace, car seat, or wastepaper basket)?
600.tasted or eaten shit?
601.more than once?
602.tasted or drunk urine?
603.more than once?
604.been a member of the Order, Aryan Nation or the like?
605.kept unmarked biology specimens in the refrigerator?
606.kept feces (crap) in the refrigerator (lab specimens do not
count)?

VIII   Bondage

Have you ('voluntarily'):

607.improvised bondage extemporaneously during sexual activity
(e.g. holding someone's wrists over their head)?
608.do you consider Bondage a way of showing that you care for
another person?
609.been tied up for erotic purposes (ropes, scarves, ties)?
610.been tied up and fucked?
611.been tied up and masturbated upon?
612.been tied up and had to watch others?
613.been tied up knowing you might be seen by others?
614.been tied up with the intention of being seen by others?
615.willingly had your head inserted in a toilet bowl?
616.inserted someone's head in a toilet bowl with their
consent/acquiescence?
617.tied someone up for erotic purposes?
618.tied someone up and fucked them?
619.tied someone up and masturbated on them?
620.tied someone up and had them watch?
621.tied someone up and shown them to others?
622.been bound in chains (handcuffs, leg irons or plain chain)?
623.been bound and had someone whip you?
624.been whipped until you bled?
625.had your tongue pierced?
626.had your lips pierced?
627.had your other lips pierced (or penis)?
628.had your nipples pierced?
629.practiced flagellation?
630.gotten any good at it?
631.fantasized of being tied up for erotic purposes?
632.fantasized of tying someone up for erotic purposes?
633.fantasized of tying someone up to show them to others?
634.fantasized of tying someone up to have them watch?
635.pierced someone else's lips?
636.pierced someone else's tongue?
637.pierced someone else's other lips (or penis)?
638.pierced someone else's nipples?
639.bound someone in chains (handcuffs, leg irons or plain
chain)?
640.bound someone and whipped them?
641.whipped someone until they bled?
642.bought bondage & discipline literature?
643.read "The Story of O"?
644.read both volumes of "The Story of O"?
645.seen the movie "The Story of O"?
646.posed for B&D drawings?
647.posed for B&D photographs?
648.asked someone to pose for B&D drawings?
649.asked someone to pose for B&D photographs?
650.asked someone to pose for B&D movies?

IX   Non-Platonic Activities (The steamy part.) Part 1.

With a male not your spouse or posslq,  have you:

651.been propositioned by a man for necking or petting?
652.been propositioned by a man for any sexual practice?
653.been pinched or patted on the buttocks by a man?
654.been kissed below the neck, but not on the hands and arms?
655.received a hickey (or had the attempt if you are hard to
get)?
656.received a hickey in an intimate location?
657.received scratch marks or nail marks?
658.been bit or nibbled upon?
659.been bit in an intimate location?
660.had a man fondle or stroke your clothed legs?
661.had a man fondle or stroke your clothed body?
662.had a man stroke or fondle your clothed breast or nipples?
663.have a man pet, stroke, fondle or otherwise handle your
covered genitals?
664.had a man fondle or stroke your bare legs?
665.had a man fondle or stroke your bare body?
666.had a man stroke or fondle your bare breast or nipples?
667.have a man pet, stroke, fondle or otherwise handle your bare
genitals?
668.propositioned a man for necking or petting?
669.propositioned a man for any sexual practice?
670.pinched or patted a man's buttocks?
671.kissed a man below the neck, but not on the hands and arms?
672.petted above or below the waist?
673.given a hickey?
674.given a hickey in an intimate location?
675.left scratches or nail marks?
676.left teeth marks?
677.left teeth marks in an intimate location?
678.fondled or stroked a man's clothed legs?
679.fondled or stroked a man's clothed body?
680.stroked or fondled a man's clothed breast or nipple?
681.petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled a man's
covered genitals?
682.fondled or stroked a man's bare legs?
683.fondled or stroked a man's bare body?
684.stroked or fondled a man's bare breast or nipple?
685.petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled a man's bare
genitals?
686.been involved with pelvic thrusting while clothed?
687.had you fingers licked or sucked?
688.licked or sucked a man's fingers?
689.had your ear, or ear region licked, breathed upon, sucked or
nibbled?
690.licked, breathed onto, sucked or nibbled a man's ear or ear
region?
691.fondled a man who was asleep?
692.woken up being fondled?
693.had sex with a man who was asleep and he didn't wake up?
694.had sex with a man who was asleep and he did wake up?
695.slept through sexual activity (him doing it to you)?
696.woken up in the midst of a man having sexual activity with
you?
697.given a man a back rub or massage with ulterior motives?
698.given a man back rub or massage with ulterior motives and it
worked?
699.been petted to orgasm?
700.petted to orgasm?
701.performed fellatio ("oral stimulation of the penis" Webster)?
702.gagged when they came in your mouth?
703.received oral sex?
704.performed mutual oral sex ('69')?
705.performed mutual masturbation?
706.watched while a man masturbated?
707.had a man watch while you masturbated?
708.orgasmed in him (if possible)?
709.had him orgasm in you?
710.orgasmed on him?
711.had him orgasm on you?
712.kissed a man (or boy) on a first date?
713.necked with a man (or boy) on a first date?
714.petted with a man (or boy) on a first date?
715.had oral sex on a first date?
716.given oral sex on a first date?
717.fucked on a first date?
718.had oral sex instead of intercourse?
719.been seen naked under good lighting by a man (note: nude is
expected (e.g. in a shower room or at a nude beach), naked is
when you didn't expect to be seen (e.g. in the bathroom).)?
720.seen a man naked under good lighting?
721.undressed under good lighting, knowing a man was watching
you?
722.been in a man's company while both of you were nude without
anything steamy happening?
723.bathed or showered with a man?
724.let a man wash you when you were perfectly capable of doing
it yourself?
725.washed a man who was perfectly capable of washing himself?
726.had sex while in the shower?
727.had sex while taking a bath?
728."seduced" a virgin?


X   Incestuous Relation of Steamy Part; Part 2.

With a female not your spouse or posslq,  have you:

729.been propositioned by a woman for necking or petting?
730.been propositioned by a woman for any sexual practice?
731.been pinched or patted on the buttocks by a woman?
732.been kissed below the neck, but not on the hands and arms?
733.received a hickey (or had the attempt if you are hard to
get)?
734.received a hickey in an intimate location?
735.been scratched or marked by her?
736.been nibbled or bit?
737.been nibbled or bit in an intimate location?
738.had a woman fondle or stroke your clothed legs?
739.had a woman fondle or stroke your clothed body?
740.had a woman stroke or fondle your clothed breast or nipples?
741.had a woman pet, stroke, fondle or otherwise handle your
covered genitals?
742.had a woman fondle or stroke your bare legs?
743.had a woman fondle or stroke your bare body?
744.had a woman stroke or fondle your bare breast or nipples?
745.have a woman pet, stroke, fondle or otherwise handle your
bare genitals?
746.propositioned a woman for necking or petting?
747.propositioned a woman for any sexual practice?
748.pinched or patted a woman's buttocks?
749.kissed a woman below the neck, but not on the hands and arms?
750.petted above or below the waist?
751.given a hickey to a woman?
752.given a hickey in an intimate location?
753.left scratches or nail marks on her?
754.left teeth marks?
755.left teeth marks in an intimate location?
756.fondled or stroked a woman's clothed legs?
757.fondled or stroked a woman's clothed body?
758.stroked or fondled a woman's clothed breast or nipple?
759.petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled a woman's
covered genitals?
760.fondled or stroked a woman's bare legs?
761.fondled or stroked a woman's bare body?
762.stroked or fondled a woman's bare breast or nipple?
763.petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled a woman's bare
genitals?
764.been involved with pelvic thrusting while clothed?
765.had you fingers licked or sucked?
766.licked or sucked a woman's fingers?
767.had your ear, or ear region licked, breathed upon, sucked or
nibbled?
768.licked, breathed onto, sucked or nibbled a woman's ear?
769.fondled a woman who was asleep?
770.woken up being fondled?
771.had sex with a woman who was asleep and she didn't wake up?
772.had sex with a woman who was asleep and she did wake up?
773.slept through sexual activity (she doing it to you)?
774.woken up in the midst of a woman having sexual activity with
you?
775.given a woman a back rub or massage with ulterior motives?
776.given a woman a back rub or massage with ulterior motives and
it worked?
777.been petted to orgasm?
778.petted to orgasm?
779.performed cunnilingus ("oral stimulation of the vulva or
clitoris")?
780.received oral sex?
781.performed mutual oral sex ('69')?
782.performed mutual masturbation?
783.watched while a woman masturbated?
784.had a woman watch while you masturbated?
785.orgasmed in her (if possible)?
786.orgasmed on her?
787.had her orgasm on you?
788.kissed a woman (or girl) on a first date?
789.necked with a woman (or girl) on a first date?
790.petted with a woman (or girl) on a first date?
791.had oral sex on a first date?
792.given oral sex on a first date?
793.fucked on a first date?
794.had oral sex instead of intercourse?
795.been seen naked under good lighting by a woman (note: nude is
expected (e.g. in a shower room or at a nude beach), naked is
when you didn't expect to be seen (e.g. in the bathroom).)?
796.seen a woman naked under good lighting?
797.undressed under good lighting, knowing a woman was watching
you?
798.been in a woman's company while both of you were nude without
anything steamy happening?
799.bathed or showered with a woman (non-coed facilities don't
count)?
800.let a woman wash you when you were perfectly capable of doing
it yourself?
801.washed a woman who was perfectly capable of washing herself?
802.had sex while in the shower?
803.had sex while taking a bath?
804."seduced" a virgin?

XI   Locality
        Have you done it on a plane,
        Have you done it on a train
        Have you done it in your bed,
        Have you done it on your head"
        Have you, have you,
        Had green eggs and ham?
                                 (with apologies to Dr Seuss)
Have you:

805.necked while hot tubbing?
806.had oral sex while hot tubbing?
807.fucked while hot tubbing,?
808.in a sauna or steam bath, ever necked?
809.in a sauna or steam bath, had oral sex?
810.in a sauna or steam bath, fucked?
811.necked/petted in a place of religion?
812.had oral sex in a place of religion?
813.fucked in a place of religion?
814.necked/petted in a place of the dead (morgue, cemetery,
mortuary, crypt, coffin, Egyptian Pyramid)?
815.had oral sex in a place of the dead?
816.fucked in a place of the dead?
817.necked/petted in a movie theater?
818.had oral sex during a movie?
819.fucked during a movie?
820.necked/petted in a sports area (stadium, court, track, or
ballfield)?
821.had oral sex in a sports area?
822.fucked in a sports area?
823.necked/petted in a stationary vehicle of less than 3000
pounds GWT (a car or small pickup)?
824.had oral sex in a stationary vehicle of less than 3000 pounds
GWT?
825.fucked in a stationary vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT?
826.in a stationary vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT (a van,
pickup), necked/petted?
827.in a stationary vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT, had
oral sex?
828.in a stationary vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT, fucked?
829.necked/petted in a stationary vehicle of more than 10000
pounds GWT (a semi or RV)?
830.had oral sex in a stationary vehicle of more than 10000
pounds GWT?
831.fucked in a stationary vehicle of more than 10000 pounds GWT?
832.necked/petted in a moving vehicle of less than 3000 pounds
GWT (a car or small pickup)?
833.had oral sex in a moving vehicle of less than 3000 pounds
GWT?
834.fucked in a moving vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT?
835.in a moving vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT (a van,
pickup), necked/petted?
836.in a moving vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT, had oral
sex?
837.in a moving vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT, fucked?
838.necked/petted in a moving vehicle of more than 10000 pounds
GWT (a semi or RV)?
839.had oral sex in a moving vehicle of more than 10000 pounds
GWT?
840.fucked in a moving vehicle of more than 10000 pounds GWT?
841.necked/petted with the operator of a moving vehicle?
842.had oral sex with the operator of a moving vehicle?
843.fucked the operator of a moving vehicle?
844.as the operator of a moving vehicle, necked/petted?
845.as the operator of a moving vehicle, received oral sex?
846.as the operator of a moving vehicle, fucked?
847.necked/petted on horseback (just don't scare the horses)?
848.had oral sex on horseback?
849.fucked on horseback?
850.had sex at a public event (such as a rock concert, rally, or
riot)?
851.had sex with a hermaphrodite?
852.necked/petted on a train?
853.had oral sex on a train?
854.fucked on a train?
855.necked/petted on a boat?
856.had oral sex on a boat?
857.fucked on a boat?
858.had oral sex on a ship?
859.fucked on a ship?
860.necked/petted in an aircraft in flight?
861.had oral sex in an aircraft in flight?
862.fucked in an aircraft in flight?
863.necked/petted on public transportation (bus, subway, tram or
trolley)?
864.had oral sex on public transportation?
865.fucked on public transportation?
866.necked/petted in a telephone booth, voting booth, hall closet
or other small, non-moving enclosure?
867.had oral sex in a telephone booth, voting booth, hall closet
or other small, non-moving enclosure?
868.fucked in a telephone booth, voting booth, hall closet or
other small, non-moving enclosure?
869.while in an elevator, or on an escalator or other people
mover, necked/petted?
870.in an elevator, on an escalator or other people mover, had
oral sex?
871.fucked in an elevator, on an escalator or other people mover?
872.necked/petted on the roof of a building?
873.had oral sex on the roof of a building?
874.fucked on the roof of a building?
875.necked/petted on the roof of a building where others might
see you?
876.had oral sex on the roof of a building where others might see
you?
877.fucked on the roof of a building where others might see you?
878.necked/petted in the snow?
879.had oral sex in the snow?
880.fucked in the snow (now that's fucking cold)?
881.had oral sex out of doors?
882.fucked out of doors?
883.had oral sex in a semi-public location where there was a
possibility of discovery?
884.fucked in a semi-public location where there was a
possibility of discovery?
885.because there was a possibility of discovery, had oral sex in
a semi-public locale?
886.because there was a possibility of discovery, fucked in a
semi-public locale?
887.necked/petted in a library?
888.had oral sex in a library?
889.fucked in a library?
890.necked/petted in a free flowing body of water (river, lake,
swimming pool, ocean)?
891.had oral sex in a free flowing body of water (river, lake,
swimming pool, ocean)?
892.fucked in a free flowing body of water (river, lake, swimming
pool, ocean)?
893.had sexual activity in a household room other than the
bedroom (kitchen, hallway, living room)?
894.had sexual activity on the floor?
895.had sexual activity on a piece of furniture not normally used
for resting humans on (i.e. microwave, washing machine,
television [acrobatic aren't you])?
896.showered with a member of the opposite sex in a 'non-coed'
facility (locker room, dorm shower, whatever)?
897.had oral sex while showering with a member of the opposite
sex in a 'non-coed' facility (locker room, dorm shower,
whatever)?
898.fucked while showering with a member of the opposite sex in a
'non-coed' facility (locker room, dorm shower, whatever)?

XII   Style
Have you:
899.pointed and laughed?
900.eaten oysters?
901.eaten prairie oysters?
902.eaten a banana in a provocative manner?
903.eaten an ice cream cone in a provocative manner?
904.used an aphrodisiac?
905.used amyl nitrate?
906.taken something to "improve" your performance?
907.coined 'pet' names for your genitalia?
908.coined 'pet' names for your partner's genitalia?
909.taken notes during arguments, in order to remember the good
lines?
910.volunteered to sleep in the wet spot?
911.accepted sex and now wish you hadn't?
912.turned down sex and now wish you hadn't?
913.didn't think it promiscuous having different partners
annually?
914.didn't think it promiscuous having different partners
monthly?
915.didn't think it promiscuous having different partners weekly?
916.didn't think it promiscuous having different partners daily?
917.didn't think it promiscuous having more than one partner in
at a time?
918.considered having to installed a 'take-a-ticket' machine (as
in "now serving number ..")?
919.made or taken a phone call during sexual activity with
someone?
920.during sexual activity, had your partner make or take a phone
call with their parent, spouse, or other important type person?
921.had a general emergency arise during sexual activity (e.g.
flood, fire, hurricane, airplane crash into the building)?
922.had a minor emergency during sexual activity (e.g. muscle
cramp, asthma attack, somebody at the door)?
923.during sexual activity had any crisis that now causes you
great merriment (e.g. the bed broke, couldn't get the condom on,
airplane crash into the building...)?
924.had nude snapshots taken of you?
925.taken nude snapshots of someone else?
926.given nude snapshots, drawings or other art work, of yourself
to someone?
927.engaged in sex for more than three hours in a single session
with the same partner?
928.engaged in sex for more than three hours in a single session
with multiple partners?
929.performed ritual sexual activity as part of a religious
practice (Tantric Yoga or Fertility Rites)?
930.had or caused multiple orgasms?
931.had sex until one of you was sore?
932.intentionally been bruised or injured during any sexual
activity?
933.intentionally bruised or injured someone during any sexual
activity?
934.spanked anyone before or during sex?
935.been sore on the morning after?
936.had sex to Ravel's Bolero?
937.had sex to the Blue Danube?
938.had sex to any other classical selection?
939.disturbed others with the noise from your sexual activity?
940.been a screamer?
941.fucked dorsally ('doggy' style)?
942.fucked in the female superior position?
943.fucked sitting up?
944.fucked standing up?
945.fucked while still clothed ('down with trousers, up with
dresses!')?
946.fallen asleep during sex?
947.talked dirty during sexual activity?
948.fainted as a result of orgasm (give them a stud point!)?
949.had sex before breakfast?
950.had sex instead of lunch (good aerobics and low on calories)?
951.had a 'quickie'?
952.had your partner fall asleep during intercourse or oral sex?
953.had your partner faint during intercourse or oral sex as a
result of orgasm (take a stud point!)?
954.been in intimate contact with more than one nude person at a
time?
955.had sex more than five times in twenty four hours?
956.had sex with more than 1 person in a 24 hour time period?
957.gone in public after sex w/o bathing (and you're sure
everyone can tell it too)?
958.had sex with both genders in a 24 hour period?
959.been involved in a gang bang (banger or bangee; gang rape
doesn't count)?
960.had sex with spectators?
961.been, or kept, a mistress?
962.been, or had, a 'kept man'?
963.been involved in a menage-a-trios?
964.been invited to be involved in a menage-a-trios?
965.invited someone to join in a menage-a-trios?
966.participated in an orgy or similar group activity?
967.made an invitation to join in an orgy or similar group
activity?
968.been engaged in sexual activity when the
parent/spouse/[boy/girl]friend of either of you returned
unexpectedly?
969.been engaged in sexual activity when the
parent/spouse/[boy/girl)friend of either of you returned
unexpectedly, have them excuse themselves and tell you to
continue?
970.been engaged in sexual activity when the
parent/spouse/[boy/girl)friend of either of you returned
unexpectedly, have them excuse themselves and tell you to
continue, and you were able?
971.walked in on your significant other while they were engaged
in sexual activity with someone else?
972.walked in on your significant other while they were engaged
in sexual activity with someone else, excused yourself and left
them to continue?
973.walked in on your parents?
974.walked in on others, unaware that they were engaged in sexual
activity?
975.walked in on others, to discover them engaged in a sexual
activity you thought was too weird?
976.walked in on others, to discover them engaged in a sexual
activity you hadn't thought possible?
977.walked in on others, unaware that they were engaged in sexual
activity, and been asked to join and did so?
978.had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
activity and declare 'I didn't think that was possible'?
979.had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
activity and declare 'too weird'?
980.had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
activity and ask to join?
981.had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
activity and you asked them to join?

        (For the following eight questions, #982-989, are where you
have been attracted to someone because of their social status)

982.initiated sexual activity with a member of the medical
profession (Your doctor, nurse or therapist)?
983.initiated sexual activity with someone in authority (your
parole officer, psychiatrist, or babysitter)?
984.initiated sexual activity with a member of the legal
profession (lawyer, judge, or paralegal)?
985.initiated sexual activity with a member of the academic
community (Professor, instructor, TA)?
986.initiated sexual activity with an intellectual (librarian,
author, essayist, or scribe)?
987.initiated sexual activity with someone in uniform (Army,
Navy, Marines, Post Office, Cub Scout)?
988.initiated sexual activity with a member of an 'out' group
(someone you wouldn't take home to meet the family, e.g. a biker,
air head or securities broker)?
989.had sexual activity with a member of a sports team (or
cheerleader)?

XIII   Testing.
Have you:
990.had an unauthorized crib sheet for a test?
991.flunked an IQ test?
992.had to study for a blood test?
993.lied on a Purity Test to improve you score?
994.done something with the intent to 'improve' your Purity Test
scores, or used a Test as a source of inspiration or a checklist
of "things to do"?
995.been jealous of, or impressed by, someone else's test scores?
996.read a Purity Test aloud, without omitting sections or being
embarrassed?
997.administered a group Purity Test?
998.taken a group purity test?
999.written or rewritten a Purity Test?
1000.remembered something by taking a Purity Test?

XIV   Extra Credit:


        If you have read de Sade's "Justine." add five points.
        Add ten points if you have read de Sade's "120 days of Sodom
& Gomorrah."
        If you know (no guessing) who followed Hendrix at Woodstock,
add one point.
        Add ten points if you were at Woodstock.
        If you know (by personal experience) what a Scot wears under
his kilt, add three points (and 3 more if you're female).
        If you have worn a strapless gown and are male add one
point.
        If you've tied someone naked up and shown them to others,
add one point.
        If you've tied someone naked up, shown them to others and
they were unaware this was intended, add five points.
        If you've been tied up knowing you might be seen naked by
others, add five points.
        Add ten points if you've been tied up knowing you would be
seen naked by others.
        If you've carried a condom 'just in case' and you are female
add one point.

        Subtract one point if you have had a partner turn out to
have been underage, and you hadn't suspected.
        If you thought the section on Bondage would involve Banks
and Corporate Debt subtract one point .
        Subtract two points if something was later revealed to be
see through (tent, clothing, curtains).
        If you had to have an obscene phone call explained to you,
subtract two points.


Now total your score.

To get your purity percent, subtract the number of yes answers
from 1000 and divide the result by 10.0
Don't forget the extra points- they get added to the yes answers.

 Test results: Biographic Stats
____Age
____Gender
____Primary orientation
____    (A)Single
        (B)"Posslq"ed
        (C)Married
        (D)Divorced



I Good Clean, 'Wholesome' Activities
  1)__  2)__  3)__  4)__  5)__  6)__  7)__  8)__  9)__ 10)__
 11)__ 12)__ 13)__ 14)__ 15)__ 16)__ 17)__ 18)__ 19)__ 20)__
 21)__ 22)__ 23)__ 24)__ 25)__ 26)__ 27)__ 28)__ 29)__ 30)__
 31)__ 32)__ 33)__ 34)__ 35)__ 36)__ 37)__ 38)__ 39)__ 40)__
 41)__ 42)__ 43)__ 44)__ 45)__ 46)__ 47)__ 48)__ 49)__ 50)__
 51)__ 52)__ 53)__ 54)__ 55)__ 56)__ 57)__ 58)__ 59)__ 60)__
 61)__ 62)__ 63)__ 64)__ 65)__ 66)__ 67)__ 68)__ 69)__

II Autoerotica (No, it doesn't mean 'love of cars')
                                                       70)__
 71)__ 72)__ 73)__ 74)__ 75)__ 76)__ 77)__ 78)__ 79)__ 80)__
 81)__ 82)__ 83)__ 84)__ 85)__ 86)__ 87)__ 88)__ 89)__ 90)__
 91)__ 92)__ 93)__ 94)__ 95)__ 96)__ 97)__ 98)__ 99)__100)__
101)__102)__103)__104)__105)__106)__107)__108)__109)__110)__
111)__112)__113)__114)__115)__116)__117)__118)__119)__120)__
121)__122)__123)__124)__125)__126)__127)__128)__129)__130)__
131)__132)__

III Ethical Considerations
            133)__134)__135)__136)__137)__138)__139)__140)__
141)__142)__143)__144)__145)__146)__147)__148)__149)__150)__
151)__152)__153)__154)__155)__156)__157)__158)__159)__160)__
161)__162)__163)__164)__165)__166)__167)__168)__169)__170)__
171)__172)__173)__174)__175)__176)__177)__178)__179)__180)__
181)__182)__183)__184)__185)__186)__187)__188)__189)__190)__
191)__192)__193)__194)__195)__196)__197)__198)__199)__200)__
201)__202)__203)__204)__205)__206)__207)__208)__209)__210)__
211)__212)__213)__214)__215)__216)__217)__218)__219)__220)__
221)__222)__223)__224)__225)__226)__227)__228)__229)__230)__
231)__232)__233)__234)__235)__236)__237)__238)__239)__240)__
241)__242)__243)__244)__245)__246)__

IV Legal technicalities
                                    247)__248)__249)__250)__
251)__252)__253)__254)__255)__256)__257)__258)__259)__260)__
261)__262)__263)__264)__265)__266)__267)__268)__269)__270)__
271)__272)__273)__274)__275)__276)__277)__278)__279)__280)__
281)__282)__283)__284)__285)__286)__287)__288)__289)__290)__
291)__292)__293)__294)__295)__296)__297)__298)__299)__300)__
301)__302)__303)__304)__305)__306)__307)__308)__309)__310)__
311)__312)__313)__314)__315)__316)__

V Things to do and people to do them with. (The nitty and the
gritty)
                                    317)__318)__319)__320)__
321)__322)__323)__324)__325)__326)__327)__328)__329)__330)__
331)__332)__333)__334)__335)__336)__337)__338)__339)__340)__
341)__342)__343)__344)__345)__346)__347)__348)__349)__350)__
351)__352)__353)__354)__355)__356)__357)__358)__359)__360)__
361)__362)__363)__364)__365)__366)__367)__368)__369)__370)__
371)__372)__373)__374)__375)__376)__377)__

VI Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll
                                          378)__379)__380)__
381)__382)__383)__384)__385)__386)__387)__388)__389)__390)__
391)__392)__393)__394)__395)__396)__397)__398)__399)__400)__
401)__402)__403)__404)__405)__406)__407)__408)__409)__410)__
411)__412)__413)__414)__415)__416)__417)__418)__419)__420)__
421)__422)__423)__424)__425)__426)__427)__428)__429)__430)__
431)__432)__433)__434)__435)__436)__437)__438)__439)__440)__
441)__442)__443)__444)__445)__446)__447)__448)__449)__450)__
451)__452)__453)__454)__455)__456)__457)__458)__459)__460)__
461)__462)__463)__464)__465)__466)__467)__468)__469)__470)__

VII The Erotic, the Kinky, the Tacky and the possibly Perverted
471)__472)__473)__474)__475)__476)__477)__478)__479)__480)__
481)__482)__483)__484)__485)__486)__487)__488)__489)__490)__
491)__492)__493)__494)__495)__496)__497)__498)__499)__500)__
501)__502)__503)__504)__505)__506)__507)__508)__509)__510)__
511)__512)__513)__514)__515)__516)__517)__518)__519)__520)__
521)__522)__523)__524)__525)__526)__527)__528)__529)__530)__
531)__532)__533)__534)__535)__536)__537)__538)__539)__540)__
541)__542)__543)__544)__545)__546)__547)__548)__549)__550)__
551)__552)__553)__554)__555)__556)__557)__558)__559)__560)__
561)__562)__563)__564)__565)__566)__567)__568)__569)__570)__
571)__572)__573)__574)__575)__576)__577)__578)__579)__580)__
581)__582)__583)__584)__585)__586)__587)__588)__589)__590)__
591)__592)__593)__594)__595)__596)__597)__598)__599)__600)__
601)__602)__603)__604)__605)__606)__

VIII Bondage
                                    607)__608)__609)__610)__
611)__612)__613)__614)__615)__616)__617)__618)__619)__620)__
621)__622)__623)__624)__625)__626)__627)__628)__629)__630)__
631)__632)__633)__634)__635)__636)__637)__638)__639)__640)__
641)__642)__643)__644)__645)__646)__647)__648)__649)__650)__

IX Non-Platonic Activities (The steamy part.) Part 1.
651)__652)__653)__654)__655)__656)__657)__658)__659)__660)__
661)__662)__663)__664)__665)__666)__667)__668)__669)__670)__
671)__672)__673)__674)__675)__676)__677)__678)__679)__680)__
681)__682)__683)__684)__685)__686)__687)__688)__689)__690)__
691)__692)__693)__694)__695)__696)__697)__698)__699)__700)__
701)__702)__703)__704)__705)__706)__707)__708)__709)__710)__
711)__712)__713)__714)__715)__716)__717)__718)__719)__720)__
721)__722)__723)__724)__725)__726)__727)__728)__

X  Incestuous Relation of Steamy Part. Part 2.
                                                729)__730)__
731)__732)__733)__734)__735)__736)__737)__738)__739)__740)__
741)__742)__743)__744)__745)__746)__747)__748)__749)__750)__
751)__752)__753)__754)__755)__756)__757)__758)__759)__760)__
761)__762)__763)__764)__765)__766)__767)__768)__769)__770)__
771)__772)__773)__774)__775)__776)__777)__778)__779)__780)__
781)__782)__783)__784)__785)__786)__787)__788)__789)__790)__
791)__792)__793)__794)__795)__796)__797)__798)__799)__800)__
801)__802)__803)__804)__
XI Locality
                        805)__806)__807)__808)__809)__810)__
811)__812)__813)__814)__815)__816)__817)__818)__819)__820)__
821)__822)__823)__824)__825)__826)__827)__828)__829)__830)__
831)__832)__833)__834)__835)__836)__837)__838)__839)__840)__
841)__842)__843)__844)__845)__846)__847)__848)__849)__850)__
851)__852)__853)__854)__855)__856)__857)__858)__859)__860)__
861)__862)__863)__864)__865)__866)__867)__868)__869)__870)__
871)__872)__873)__874)__875)__876)__877)__878)__879)__880)__
881)__882)__883)__884)__885)__886)__887)__888)__889)__890)__
891)__892)__893)__894)__895)__896)__897)__898)__

XII Style
                                                899)__900)__
901)__902)__903)__904)__905)__906)__907)__908)__909)__910)__
911)__912)__913)__914)__915)__916)__917)__918)__919)__920)__
921)__922)__923)__924)__925)__926)__927)__928)__929)__930)__
931)__932)__933)__934)__935)__936)__937)__938)__939)__940)__
941)__942)__943)__944)__945)__946)__947)__948)__949)__950)__
951)__952)__953)__954)__955)__956)__957)__958)__959)__960)__
961)__962)__963)__964)__965)__966)__967)__968)__969)__970)__
971)__972)__973)__974)__975)__976)__977)__978)__979)__980)__
981)__982)__983)__984)__985)__986)__987)__988)__989)__

XIII Testing.
                                                      990)__
991)__992)__993)__994)__995)__996)__997)__998)__999)__1000)__

XIV Extra Credit:

-- 
|R. Andracsek  |  andra@cs.widener.edu  |  Voice (215)447-0412  
|  Coach:"Do you think losing is funny?!?"
|  Player:"Not at first, but once you get the hang of it..."
|                 ---The Mighty Ducks