HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: 20 Nov 1992 20:01:57 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com

In article <64z158_@rpi.edu>, petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:

>   Yes, there is a difference.  However, to some of us, when we get dumped by
> someone we care for, it HURTS.  Apparently, this is not true for you---since
> this is for romantics (people who care deeply for others), it really hurts to
> get dumped---moreso than for non-romantics.

Sigh.  When I got dumped, it hurt a whole lot, and I was really scared because
I hadn't dated since I was nineteen.  So I looked around the net looking
for friends and I saw a group of people who were very funny and insightful
and intelligent and I saw another group of people who whined a lot.  Now,
the people who read ARC don't think they're whiney -- they think they're
sensitive.  And we who read soc.singles don't think we're insensitive -- 
we think we have at least half a brain each.  So you get the kind of support
you want and I got the kind of support I wanted.  There are two groups
because there are two different types of people.  The problem, if there is  
any, comes when someone crossposts.  It doesn't bother me personally
because it's fun to see you folks get all hot and bothered about the
silliest things.

>   As for Reality, if it's what I see on TV, I can see why we have such problems.

I can see why you might be having a problem.  TV is not reality.  Turn off
Sesame Street and come back later.

>   No, but you ARE saying that other people mean very little to you, since you
> can't be hurt by them.  Psychological invunerability is only possible if 
> nobody means anything to you, which seems to be the case here, if you insist
> that you can't get hurt.

Surely you must know that you're just being silly, don't you?  Do you 
measure the quality of your relationships by how badly they hurt you?

>   Well, as I said before, there are SOME TIMES when we all need hugs.  And,
> apparently, your dates/SO mean nothing to you, so you can't be hurt by them.

Why do you think of "dates/SO's" as a source of pain?  What's so romantic 
about hurting?

Dawn

Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved.
"Folk Song" by Bongwater
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14267 soc.singles:31145
From: jmd@bear.com (Josh Diamond)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: 18 Nov 92 20:36:43 GMT
	<PRAUDA.92Nov18000038@dol-guldur.hut.fi>
	<1992Nov18.135945.10491@cbfsb.cb.att.com>
Distribution: na
Organization: Bear, Stearns & Co. - FAST
In-reply-to: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com's message of 18 Nov 92 13:59:45 GMT


About all this hugging stuff...

I think that the whole world would be a hell of a lot more peacefull
if we could learn to give hugs just a bit more freely -- without
making any judgements about the other person, without any sexual
overtones.

Maybe if we would hug more as a culture then there would be less
violence. Less anger. Less racism and homophobia.  

Yes, I'm an unrepentant hugger!

Hugs to all!   

				Spidey!!!



PS -- I choose 4!


--
 /\ \  / /\  Josh Diamond                                          jmd@bear.com
//\\ .. //\\ AKA Spidey!!!                        ...!ctr.columbia.edu!ursa!jmd
//\((  ))/\\
/  < `' >  \                                              Do whatever it takes.
From: mgrassin@ub.d.umn.edu (Odessa Black)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: What kind of flowers?
Summary: Does it have to be roses?
Date: 17 Nov 92 23:34:56 GMT
Organization: University of Minnesota, Duluth
NNTP-Posting-Host: ub.d.umn.edu

I agree with the person (sorry, forgot name) who asked if it had to be roses.
I think there are more beautiful flowers out there.  Orchids are great.  My
personal favorites are daisies....

			Odessa Black
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 92 11:13:56 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <Bxvxyx.Mqq@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU> stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andrews) writes:
>Try <kiss>, <smooch>, <zerbit> (don't ask!), <sigh>, <laugh>, <confused smile>
><smiles>, <laughs till he cries>, <giggle>, <strange look>, 
><here we go again look>...
>Basically, put any expression/action into words..

Hey, stuart, does this include, perchance, *shudder*?
:)
r.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: helie@bach.udel.edu (Ray Helie)
Subject: Re: HELP: Sucks to be me!!!
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 22:07:49 GMT

bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:

" ...
  Plus, it's easy to see things when you're looking for them.  For instance,
  lets say that I like a girl (we'll call her Judy).  Judy's in my class.
  Sometimes, when I look around during lecture, I see her staring at me.
  She even says "hi" and comes up to me and starts talking to me out of the
  blue.  No, this doesn't mean Judy's interested in me romantically, she's
  just a friendly person who likes to stare into nowhere (AKA daydream).
  But me, looking very hard, might just think that she likes me (in the
  romantic way), and misinterpret most heinously. "

Going off on a slight tangent ...

You shouldn't even bother wondering if she likes you based on how she acts 
(unless she showing intense signs of disinterest  8-).  If you are 
interested in a woman, then take some initiative: try getting to know her.  
Even if she shows no interest to begin with, she may become very 
interested as she gets to know you.  Why worry about mis-interpreting it?

You might be trying to avoid feeling like a fool by knowing ahead of time
if she's interested in you (*very* understandable 8-)  The funny thing is, 
many people don't always know ahead of time -- sometimes it take time.  
Take a chance!  The main thing you need to worry about is if you might 
be interested in her, then take it from there ... life's too short!


Ray  8-)

**  Ray Helie         8-)                   University Of Delaware     **
**  [helie@bach.udel.edu]                   Newark, DE                 **
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: Opinions wanted!! (Please?)
Organization: Clark University
Date: 23 NOV 92 04:27:39 GMT

In a previous article, 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.) wrote:
> 
>	Can two people who are totally different ever have a romantic
>relationship?  What I am looking for here are opinions.
> 
>	An example-how about terms of rich vs. poor, region vs. region, and so
>on?
> 
Hell yeah!  If anything, my more successful relationships have been with women 
who were most different than me.  I grew up in an upper-middle-class religious 
Jewish family.  My most successful relationship was with a lower-middle-class 
athiest.  I'm a "computer person"; I've never dated another, nor had any 
interest.  I'm non-musical, and most of my girlfriends have been musical...

If anything, I look for diversity in a relationship.  I don't want to date a 
female version of me.  I have more interest in those I can "learn" from, those 
who are unlike me.  There needs to be something in common, but I look for that 
more in philosophy of life than what they do, where they come from, etc.

/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
| > <    Mitch Cohen * Multimedia consultant * MCohen@vax.clarku.edu       |
|  ^          Any opinions expressed are clearly not my own.               |
|  v     I'll come up with something intelligent to put here later.        |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
From: kath@pico.dr.att.com (54626-LeeK(DR1971)210)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Plea
Date: 18 Nov 92 18:40:42 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.010332.12466@cs.uwp.edu>, itzenhui@cs.uwp.edu (Steve Itzenhuiser) writes:
|> 
|> I am only 24 years old, but believe in previous lives (though I do not
|> know what they were) and believe that I know a lot about this world

	This is your first incorrect assumption, that you know alot about this world...
	From your spelling of the word bizarre (below, spelled bazaar - a flea market)
	to the inconsistent stance that you know so much because of your understanding
	of yourself vs.  the fact that you say you become absorbed into a woman.  People
	with a strong sense of self (strong understanding of self) do not become 
	"absorbed into" other people.  

	Maybe you should take a little time out and learn more about the world, about
	yourself, about your insecurities, which are displayed in your arrogant and
	pompous rattlings, before you attempt a relationship.  


|>--the
|> way it works and why things happen when they happen, etc.  My
|> understanding of the world lies in my understanding of myself.  This may
|> sound truly bazaar to some of you, but I know that there are others out
|> there like me and my friends--you're not alone.  However, out of all the
|> knowledge that I have gained over the X-amount of life times that I have
|> been on this earth, I can not, for the life of me understand LOVE!!!
|> I am now interested in one particular woman (who I really hope doesn't
|> read this).  She is intelligent and wise (a combination hard to find), and
|> also quite stunning.  She has expressed interest in me, though I don't
|> know to what extent, though that in itself can keep me in check for some time.
|> My biggest problem, however, is that I become very absorbed into a woman
|> and thus become anxious.  I don't know what to think when she does this or
|> that, I don't quite know how to act and react.  I know that I should be
|> myself, but I do so much want to be with her but I do not want to push her
|> away.  I become quite stressed.  Do I relax, do I tell her of my anxiety,
|> or what?  I would really appreciate a bit 'o advice.
|> 
|> 
|> "If there's a new way, I'll be the first in line."
|> 				-Dave Mustain
From: pierceha@bcstec.ca.boeing.com (Heather Pierce)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: A book
Keywords: romance
Date: 18 Nov 92 23:05:43 GMT
Organization: Boeing Computer Services, Seattle


   I've been reading some of the posts and a lot of them reflect the confusion
   that appears when one sex is attracted to another (for all I know, it could
   be true in same-sex attraction too).  Anyhow, I have found a book that
   discusses romance yet is not a how-to manual.  It does a lot of explanation
   yet it is very supportive.  I have distributed this book or its title and
   so far, none of the people (all of whom bought it) have been dissappointed.
   Of course, this is a larger audience...
   Anyhow, I am willing to recommend this book and take whatever flack the
   recommendation generates.  It is called 'A Fine Romance'.  I is found
   all over and locally here at the U of W bookstore.  I hope that if you
   get to read it that you enjoy it (unless of course, you'd rather not
   enjoy it) and feel as comfited by its information as I am.

   Heather
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: michalek@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Libor Michalek)
Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 08:45:47 GMT


Back in high school (at the time I didn't know I was a manic depresive) a
similar situation happened( don't want to go into the details), but I almost
lost one of my fingers to lonelyness. One morning  I was just numb from the
pain and I took a knife to one of my fingers ( being tierd I hit it alot
harder then I wanted to). About 2 hours later in school I passed out in 
(I had put a rag over my hand and went because I thought I would get in 
trouble from my mom) from blood loss. My point is talk to someone and talk alot
shit happens.

That was the one time in life I felt truly alone. I got over it (still have
all 10 fingers)and life went on
   
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: tuff@ellis.uchicago.edu (Geoff Tuffli)
Subject: Re: wish me luck
Reply-To: tuff@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 19:59:22 GMT

In article chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy Horwitz) writes:
>Hi,
>I'm new to this board, but I thought I'd share my (I think) very
>romantic idea.  I have never asked out a guy before, but I am VERY
>interested in someone.  I don't know his name or anything about him.  There
>is little chance that I will meet him if I don't approach him.  So... I am
>going to find out his name and mail him an anonymous letter asking him to
>meet me for dinner at my dorm.  Do you think he will come?  (To the guys)
>What would you think if someone did this to you?

Assuming that I wasn't going out with anyone at the time, I think I'd go;
out of curiosity, if nothing else. (Curiosity killed the...never mind ;-) )
It's sort of like a non-arranged blind date...hmmm....:-)

	Geoff Tuffli
	The Green Griffin

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: tchambers@trentu.ca (Terrence Chambers)
Subject: Re: wish me luck results
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Trent University Computer Services Department
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 20:37:00 GMT

In article <Q1HTB541@cc.swarthmore.edu>, chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy 
Horwitz) writes...

> Now the only problen is how do I get over lusting over him?  I want to
> date him badly, and I'm spending about 50% of my time thinking about him. 
> At the moment there is really no chance, so I wish I could just get over
> it.
>
Hey, can't you just get to know him as a friend for now?  I mean, you don't 
even know him!  Now is your chance to find out what this guy is really like 
and be sure that he is really is so great.  Sure, you won't be able to 
expect him to fall in love with you or anything right now...but you can be 
there as a friend for now.  Then, eventually, if you still like him, he may 
be ready to try another relationship.
If you just try to forget about him...it won't work because you have been 
thinking about him so much and these postings will only remind you of him.  
Get to know him and take it slow!
Good Luck Cathy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"All through my wandering years          |  tchambers@trentu.ca
 I always said I was biding my time      |  Terrence Chambers
 But alone in the dark I'd face my fears |  Trent University
 That no other heart would come to mine" |  Peterborough, ON CANADA
                       -Peter Cetera     |  EMAIL RULES!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 18:36:08 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.182113.20746@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith) writes:
>In article <1992Nov18.130850.24192@dgbt.doc.ca>, michele@dgbt.doc.ca (Michele Guillet) writes:
>
>|> I agree with you. I think we forget easily that touch is needed, 
>|> infants that aren't held don't develop normally. It is sad when the
>|> house pet gets more attention and touch than the people living there.
>|> I have notice that friends who comes to my house will almost always
>|> pet my dog but often will not hug me or kiss me. Of course, my dog
>|> is hard to ignore, she makes it clear that she wants and expects
>|> a pet. I learned from her to ask for hugs and kisses, know what,
>|> I am getting a lot more since I started asking.
>
>Hmmm...the last time I tried walking up to someone, rubbing up against
>their leg and putting my nose in their crotch, I getsmacked. Maybe that
>was the wrong approach?

Well, Jeff, you shouldn't have done it to a guy....
-- 
  Dave Johnson

"You're not too smart, are you?  I like that in a man."
    --Kathleen Turner in Body Heat 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: First date on Friday the 13th
Organization: Clark University
Date: 16 NOV 92 23:53:10 GMT

In a previous article, amymw@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Amy Wisotsky) wrote:
>aland@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Alan D.) writes:
> 
>>jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner) writes:
>>>spp@zabriskie.berkeley.edu (Steve Pope) writes:
>>>> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>>>> >Ok, I had a first date on Friday the 13th.  Is this a good thing?
>>>> How are we supposed to know?  You tell *us* whether it was a good thing!
>>>oh wow! my SO & i had our first 'real' date on Friday the 13th as well.
>>>didn't even think about what that was supposed to mean. was too happy
>>>with (barely) getting tickets to see Dracula. (good movie. go see. twice.)
> 
>>I had a job interview on Friday the 13th...  I _THINK_ it went well; I
>>should find out this week... ;)  Not very romantic in & of itself, but
>>if I get the job my girlfriend will be happy ('cause it means I will
>>definitely be staying in the area after grad school... *grin*)...
> 
>>	-=Alan
> 
>Well, he found out and....YAY!!!!!!!!  *jump for joy*  I get to keep
>him nearby!  *silly grin*
> 
>								-Amy-
>								 :)
Hey, looks like Friday the 13th was a good day for many.  My original post was 
more silly 2AM comment than anything else, but I'm glad I checked back.  Four 
replies to my first alt.romance posting...wow.  [And aside, it does seem to be 
a good thing].  And hooray for Alan and Amy.
..Mitch (I know, huge .sig, gotta fix that!)

/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
|  \  /                                                              \  /  |
|  /  \               From the Desk and Mind of Mitch                /  \  |
|   /\                                                                /\   |
|  \  /                   MCohen@Vax.Clarku.Edu                      \  /  |
|   \/                                                                \/   |
|            Any opinions expressed are clearly someone else's!            |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: Falling in love via phone?
Organization: Clark University
Date: 16 NOV 92 23:57:02 GMT

I seem to remember coming across a recent novel on this topic while browsing
at the bookstore.  The novel was "Vox", and was in a black cover, but I
don't remember the author.  Looked very interesting, those interested in
this might want to seek it out.  (If anyone has read this, any opinion?)

/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
|  \  /                                                              \  /  |
|  /  \               From the Desk and Mind of Mitch                /  \  |
|   /\                                                                /\   |
|  \  /                   MCohen@Vax.Clarku.Edu                      \  /  |
|   \/                                                                \/   |
|            Any opinions expressed are clearly someone else's!            |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Trying Too Hard
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 13:57:17 GMT

  There's been some discussion about how much effort one has to put into dating
and relationships in general.  Here's more fuel for the fire:

  It's a lot easier for women to say that you shouldn't try too hard---when
women go out, it's a lot easier for them to get attention than it is for a
guy.  Observe:  If a woman sits  quietly in a corner, she can get dates, but if
a guy does the same thing, no dates (unless he gets fortunate enough to be
approached by an assertive woman).

  Maybe this is related to the fact that most women won't ask guys out.  Face it;
it's _HARD_ to lay a bit of your ego 'on the line' (so to speak) whenever you ask
someone out that you're interested in.  And it's even harder to ask if you're
already a person's friend---that could be why it gets hard for friendship to
become more.  In other words, why _should_ women start asking guys out?  They
already can get dates, so why work harder for what you already have?

  So, I guess that's why women say don't try to get into a relationship.  And,
men have to do most or all of the dating 'work' so it seems natural for them to
feel you must seize the fish (Carpe Diem :&) ).

   Personally, I'd like to know how many people are in the middle---feeling that
with some people you've gotta push the relationship, and with others, you've
gotta 'drift.'

-- 
 *HUGS*, a @>---'--,----, and a :&) to whoever needs them.
"Whoever said that life was fair never read the rules, and found out that
there were none."
"Mysteries are for detectives; confusion is what the rest of us get."



Xref: sparky alt.romance:14083 alt.personals:22350
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.personals
Subject: Re: WANTED: REWARD OFFERED
From: <NIEDFELD@MIAMIU.BITNET>
Date: Sunday, 15 Nov 1992 17:20:34 EST
Organization: Miami University - Academic Computer Service
WANTED:    Anyone & Everyone

REWARD     I can write to you for the next 18 1/2 years  or  until
OFFERED:   YOU get tired of writing back. Not really ISO net.romance.
 
 
John   (Long letter specialist...among other things)  ;)
 
niedfeld@miamiu.acs.muohio.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: I'll Call You
Reply-To: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 16:17:06 GMT

I wanted to thank everyone who responded to my plea..I got a lot of email, but
wasn't able to reply to it all.

Of course, I never *said* I'd respond.... :)

				Cheryl

p.s.  I was surprised at the number of people who said the guy was a bum for
not calling.  Gee, my dog liked him....
Newsgroups: alt.romance,rec.arts.poems
From: nagji@ntc02.tele.nokia.fi
Subject: Though I have released you
Organization: Nokia Telecommunications.
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 17:39:35 GMT

I'm posting this on behalf of a special friend


Though I have released you

-----
In my mind, in my heart,
I have let you go.
I will never understand
what caused things to go awry,
unless someday, 
you choose to tell me why.
But I have let you go anyway,
Because I must.  

But this does not mean that
I will stop caring.
I can never do that, 
though it seems to be something
that you are capable of.

No.  I have let you go,
I have purged the painful
memories from my heart.

I am certain now, that
to you, I have become
nothing more than
a dusty, tattered memory.
A yellowed, fading page,
stuffed in the back
of a junk drawer.

I too, am putting away my 
memories. 
It has taken me longer,
because my caring runs deep
like a vein of gold in rocky ground.
I am slowly putting away 
the painful memories.  
In time, I will discard them. 

But there is one set of images 
I will never discard: 
The softness of your touch. 
The sound of your laughter.
The sparkle of mischief in your eyes
when you smiled at me.

Though I have released you,
Though I no longer need you,
These are memories which rarely
occur in one's lifetime.
Memories to cherish.

These I will keep,
Close to my heart,

Always.
From: fretlord@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Ryan Stryker)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Hug
Date: 23 Nov 92 05:15:47 GMT
Reply-To: fretlord@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Ryan Stryker)
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin TX
Originator: fretlord@tigger.cc.utexas.edu

Just wanted to offer my affections.   

-Ry


-- 

==============================================================================
"Interjections show excitement or emotion.  They're generally set apart from a
 sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma if the feeling's not as strong.
 So when you're happy....     HURRAY!"
======================================= - Schoolhouse Rock - =================
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14175 soc.singles:30990