HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kauffman@slab.unt.edu (DON KAUFFMAN)
Subject: Grossest Late Night Moments
Organization: School of Library & Info Sci, UNT
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 02:02:25 GMT


	I saw one show with Penn & Teller where the big one swallowed
	a bean, and after a few minutes of making gross noises, made
	it come out his eye.  I've never seen anything like it.

	Sonic Youth were great!  Dave and Paul were total dorks.
	That song didn't need five guitars, two drummers, and
	keyboards too.  Give it a break, Paul.

	The band does sound pretty good, though.  I read that one of
	them sings in the Army "Be All That You Can Be" commercial.
	I think it might be Will Lee.  Did anyone else hear that?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: chuck@iastate.edu (Charles C Ruehling)
Subject: Re: >>>> MY NEWSGROUP <<<<
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, IA
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 00:30:52 GMT

In article <drice.715448244@ponder> drice@ponder.csci.unt.edu (Keith Rice) writes:
>In <1992Sep2.073811.3736@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> dnadams@nyx.cs.du.edu (Dean Adams) writes:
>
>>In article <la8pkrINNt28@aludra.usc.edu> cokin@aludra.usc.edu (Darren Cokin) writes:
>>>In article <1992Sep2.013702.22281@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mperlman@nyx.cs.du.edu (Marshal "Airborne" Perlman) writes:
>>>>HEY..it was my idea..and I don't even get the FIRST message?
>>>>
>>>>Some clearly insane person TOOK IT..I WANT REVENGE! <or a steak>
>>>
>>>YOU LYING RAT BASTARD!!!
>>>
>>>I suggested this newsgroup on alt.config about 6 months ago.  It was MY idea.
>>>
>>HEY!  "me too" !!   I remember some pathetic losers over there not
>>thinking it was a good idea, WELL...  I have seen more activity on
>>this new group TODAY, than on any other new group I can remember!
>
>NO!!!!!!!!
>It was MY idea.  It's been my idea for _40_ years!!!  ;-)
>
>--
>D. Keith Rice -- University of North Texas -- drice@ponder.csci.unt.edu
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>Beta Test: To voluntarily entrust one's data, livelihood and sanity to
>           hardware or software intended to destroy all three.  In
>           earlier days, virgins were selected to beta test volcanoes.
Gee I hope I am doing this right, HI WORLD.


Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: thomasc@ms.uky.edu (Thomas Campbell)
Subject: Re: Dave's Behavior With Interesting Guests
    <1992Sep4.230806.5338@inmet.camb.inmet.com> 
    <1992Sep5.132537.3083@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 16:24:22 GMT
Organization: University Of Kentucky, Dept. of Math Sciences

The only problem that I ever have when Dave is talking to a "interesting"
guest is when they were doing the "Fastest BagBoy/Girl" stuff.  One year
they had a Boy on and Dave did some joke (which of course I can't remember
and the next year they had on a girl and he said the exact *same* joke!
I couldn't believe it I was so disappointed in Dave.  Does anyone remmber
this besides me?

Alex

p.s. what waws really sad is they showed the boy as a repeat the week before
     the girl came on.  May have even been the same week.
From: unknown@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (tuu)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: dave's love life
Date: 8 Sep 1992 01:09:15 GMT
Organization: University of California; Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: ucscb.ucsc.edu


In article <1992Sep7.231535.23550@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bscott@nyx.cs.du.edu (Ben Scott) writes:
}one does get curious.  I missed the Walters interview - what else was said?

	Watch for yourself. It's going to be repeated sometime this week..
I saw an ad last week for it.
-- 
/unknown@ucscb.ucsc.edu   used ADB trackball WANTED          Apple II Forever!\
\Mail me:Get INFOCOM GAMES RERELEASED for //s, ULT VI GS done,for UNIX GS info/
What the world needs now is another folk singer like I need a hole in my head.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: bscott@nyx.cs.du.edu (Ben Scott)
Subject: Re: dave's love life
Summary: No way 
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 92 23:15:35 GMT

In article <dlcogswe.715479957@vela> dlcogswe@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Dan Cogswell) writes:
>Weeelll...  He *is* divorced, used to date Meril Marco (former writer
>and washed-up comic), and said on Babara Walters that he wants to marry
>again and have kids.

Geez, he SAID this?  Because there was a psychic on the show once who
predicted he'd be married within a year, and he said "Now I KNOW this one is
wrong - I was married once and I GUARANTEE..." (audience laughter)

(at least that's how I remember it)

Anyway, Dave is pretty closed-mouthed about his personal life.  We know he
has a (living) mother, he's mentioned a sister, and that he was married.  Oh,
and he has a dog, and a Porsche, and he got his license taken away for a
while... he's from Indiana, of course, and was a grocery sacker and a
weatherman in the past.  Went to school with Marilyn Quayle.  what else...
well, not much that I can remember.  So, short of reading the tabloids,
there's not many ways to learn about him.  Not that it's that important, but
one does get curious.  I missed the Walters interview - what else was said?

.                            <<<<Infinite K>>>>
 
--
|Ben Scott, professional goof-off and consultant at The Raster Image, Denver|
|Internet bscott@nyx.cs.du.edu, or call the Arvada 68K BBS at (303)424-6208.| 
|"Don't you see it?  EVIL, pure and simple,|The Raster Image IS responsible |
|from the 8th Dimension!" - Buckaroo Banzai|for everything I say! | *Amiga* |
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman,alt.sex.bestiality
From: pjyamamo@watdragon.uwaterloo.ca (Peter Yamamoto)
Subject: Speaking of animals... (Re: Dave- a ninny among animals...)
Keywords: dave and aniumals...
Organization: Data Structures Group, C.S. Dept., U. of Waterloo
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 16:22:15 GMT

Fans can correct me if I am wrong but...

I am not a regular viewer (anymore) but it seems that very often
when I watch Dave that he uses sexual innuendos/jokes regarding animals.

I was going to post last time I heard one but decided it was just my
imagination!-)

Last night Dave had on the guy (lead singer) from Spinal Tap and also
a star on Sessions (a new show this fall). He was desribing a scene
from the new show in which they depict one of his fantasies.

He was being shy/careful and was slowly describing the scene (him and
two women). Rough quotation...

[he hasn't mentioned "women" yet though...]
I'm in bed with two large [pause]... largely [pause]...
largely endowed [pause]...
(Dave interrupts) horses?

I also notes that while Dave found this amusing (wide white grin)
the guest and the audience didn't really seem to react.

I can't think of any other examples but I know they are there.
Can any fans contribute any others?

Does Dave have a "thing" for animals?

Peter
From: ph111-bx@violet.berkeley.edu (;;;;7202)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: Hal (& bonus top ten list)
Date: 6 Sep 1992 20:28:13 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: violet.berkeley.edu

In article <BRENNAN.92Sep6011210@yosemite.hal.com> brennan@hal.com
(Dave Brennan) writes:
>Top Ten John Tower Pickup Lines   
[list deleted :-(]

John Tower monologue joke:

The lengthy confirmation hearings are making him anxious.  He was
hoping to have his office setup in time for National Secretaries Week.
From: mcirvin@husc8.harvard.edu (Mcirvin)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: Dave on Mork and Mindy?
Keywords: Mork and Mindy
Date: 9 Sep 92 21:58:37 GMT

dlcogswe@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Dan Cogswell) writes:

>kachun@spot.Colorado.EDU (Ka Chun Yu) writes:

>>Anyone see the episode of Mork and Mindy with David Letterman as a guest
>>star--or I'm pretty sure it was him.  I saw this last spring (I think) as
>>a re-run on one cable station or another.  Dave plays this slick dealer in
>>holistic medicine, or meditation.  He wore a 70s type suit with a big 
>>shiny medallion from his neck.  Anyone know what I'm talking about?
>>Anyone?

>Yup.  Dave kept telling people to "sit down and shut up."  I don't
>remeber the medallion around his neck, but that show was probably the
>defining moment for Dave's horrible hair cuts.  Truly a mess.

[expression of utter, complete shock and realization]

OH MY GOD!  THAT WAS DAVID LETTERMAN!

I saw that episode when it first aired, a zillion years ago.  It's
the one with the thing called "ERK" that's a parody of est, right?
And the character you're talking about is the Werner Erhard figure,
right?  He keeps saying that everything is "just a concept," and at
the end his car gets trashed somehow and Mork tells him his car
is now "just a concept."  Right?

And he says at one point that ERK "might just *be* space," and Mork
gets upset because he, of course, knows all about space.  Right?

I remember at least that much of it fairly vividly, yet I never
made the connection.  That was Dave!?!?!?!?  If I saw it again,
I'm sure it would be obvious.

-- 
Matt McIrvin, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: colinm@max.carleton.ca (Colin McFadyen)
Subject: Re: Dave's best "imitation"!
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 17:25:42 GMT

  I like his "Sparky Anderson listening to a post-game question"!!

-- 
Colin McFadyen -- Carleton U. Computing and Communications Services
Ottawa, Ontario, CANADA K1S 5B6                  
colinm@ccs.carleton.ca

Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: rpb@noaacrd.colorado.edu (Robert Baptist)
Subject: Re: If Dave moves, all the band comes with, right?
Organization: NOAA Climate Research Division
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 01:15:17 GMT

In article <1992Sep7.171639.18624@news.iastate.edu> jsturges@iastate.edu (Jason L Sturges) writes:
> Just our of curiosity (sorry if I missed this in an earlier post), but the
>whole band will move, right?  Of course Paul has to come, but what about the
>bassist, Will Lee?  He'll come too, right?
>
>							-- Jason Sturges
>

   On the Barbara Walters special, Dave said he'd never do the show 
without Paul... After all, who would do all those dumb gags at 100% like
he does?
  
   Does anyone remember when Dave introduced Paul and he started talking
about his mother and called her an expletive?  Later in the show, 
Dave called her up and told her to watch.. Does anyone recall exactly
what Paul said?

   - Robert




 

Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: barriost@gtephx.UUCP (Tim Barrios)
Subject: Origins of the Top 10 List
Organization: AG Communication Systems, Phoenix, Arizona
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 16:57:18 GMT

I think the original "Top 10 Lists" were the best.  In the beginning,
they were list of two usually unrelated items separated by "and" or
"or".  My personal favorite was the "Top 10 Body Parts or VanPatten
Family Members", which went something like:
  10. Pat
   9. Spleen
...
   1. Dick

With the obvious ambiguity of the #1 item.  They would do the same
thing with "and" where they would put together two seemingly
unrelated topics and make it funny (although I can't think of an
example now).

The new "Top 10 Lists" aren't quite as creative but they also do them
almost every night.  Back then, they only did them now and then.

-- 
Tim Barrios, AG Communication Systems, Phoenix, AZ
UUCP: ...!{ncar!noao!enuucp | att}!gtephx!barriost
Internet: gtephx!barriost@enuucp.eas.asu.edu or barriost@gtephx.att.com
voice: (602) 582-7101        fax:   (602) 581-4390
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: aoek774@chpc.utexas.edu (David Letterman)
Subject: Re: Speaking of animals... (Re: Dave- a ninny among animals...)
Keywords: dave and aniumals...
Organization: The University of Texas System - CHPC
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 92 17:20:15 GMT

In article <Bu9pH4.2rr@watdragon.uwaterloo.ca> pjyamamo@watdragon.uwaterloo.ca (Peter Yamamoto) writes:
>
>Does Dave have a "thing" for animals?
>
>Peter

Aw...C'mon now!!


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
David R. Heim						
aoek774@hermes.chpc.utexas.edu				          
The University of Texas at Austin			      
Dept. of Aerospace Engineering/Engineering Mechanics	       

		There's not a man, woman, or child alive today
	     	    who dosen't enjoy a lovely beverage!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman,alt.sex.bestiality
From: m14430@mwunix.mitre.org (Lawrence Larson)
Subject: Re: Speaking of animals... (Re: Dave- a ninny among animals...)
Keywords: dave and aniumals...
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 16:59:55 GMT

vgriscep@wam.umd.edu (VGR (Craig Pell)) writes:

>>Does Dave have a "thing" for animals?

>I have noticed that bestiality (oops --- zoerastia :-)  ) seems to be widely
>hinted at in Hollywood.  

SOMEBODY's got to date Sarah B.....

Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: norris@athena.mit.edu (Richard A Chonak)
Subject: Re: Dennis Miller on the Emmys
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 06:13:38 GMT

In article <1992Sep4.064344.22407@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> dnadams@nyx.cs.du.edu (Dean Adams) writes:
>
>saunders@luther.che.wisc.edu (Brian E. Saunders) writes:
>      >Dave also doesn't get as political as Miller did, 
>      >...which I find very annoying.  
>      >It is one thing to joke about hillarious situations that the 
>      >politicians get into (Bush's vomiting, Quayle's gaffs, 
>      >Clinton's *affairs*, etc...), 
>      >and it is another thing to sit there and comment why Clinton's/Perot's 
>      >ideas are better than Bush's.  
>They don't do that.  

This is exactly what Miller did on the big show this week.  Dave asked him
about the campaign, but instead of giving the audience some real jokes,
he just expressed his personal views with the usual sneer.  

This guy is no competition for Mort Saul, even.
--RC
---
(writer's embellishment)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: keith@cco.caltech.edu (Keith Allan Schneider)
Subject: Re: General Electric, a reason to boycott
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 08:51:30 GMT

cwwhite@vax2.concordia.ca (Stephen White) writes:

>Just for the record, GE does make major components for nuclear offensive, first
>strike nuclear weapons, including the proposed minute man missiles.  For more

>could leave no viewer with any feeling other then contempt to General Electric.

 someone has to make them...

>There is little doubt in my mind that David Letterman is sincere in his hatred
>of GE, and would want all of us to join the renewed call for a freeze on
>nuclear technology (in military applications), and to boycott GE or at least
>to avoid them where possible.

if Dave doesn't liek GE, it is not because they make weapons, but because
the management won't let him do all the wacky things he desires.

>At the very least, if you are opposed to purely offensive nuclear devices,
>then PLEASE I implore you to let your opinions be known, and write a simple
>letter to GE saying so.  Get the address off the back of any product, and

So, how many missles are being made these days?  None?  Besides, these
missiles keep the peace.  If we didn't have them (or at least some of them)
there would be more conflicts, I'll bet.

>Is that honestly too much to ask?????  I'd love to offer to pay for the
>postage, but hey it's only a few cents, and you'll take more time flaming this
>message it will have taken you to write the letter.  Please do this simple
>thing, not for me (hell I'm not getting paid for this, this is a call for
>acton from the heart, you think I want to waste my time typing this?  I just
>want a better world for all us and all that utopian crap) but for everyone.

I don't see how having fewer nuclear missiles is at all going to make this 
world more peaceful.  Surely we will always have enough to cause another
mass extiction.  There are many more pressing issues to be concerned with
-- perhaps you should devote your energy to them.

keith

>Thanks for your time and patience,
>                                                                --Stephen White

>| "Live simply that others may simply live" --Mohandas K. Gandhi               |
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: rlopez@loanstar.tamu.edu (Robert Lopez)
Subject: Re: Ghostly Images (was Re: Letterman Qoutes
Organization: Academic Computing Services
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 21:15:47 GMT

In article <1992Sep8.105432.10684@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, dnadams@nyx.cs.du.edu (Dean Adams) writes:
|> rlopez@loanstar.tamu.edu (Robert Lopez) writes:
|>  >Or when the water in the fountain got replaced with mouthwash?
|>  >"The Prancing fluids..." 
|> 
|> NO, it is the DANCING WATERS forever!  :->
|> 
|> But PAUL did have "Paul Shaffer's Prancing Fluids, jr." that one time.
|> 

no dude, when the water got replaced by Lavoris, the fountains
also got renamed.

-- 
----------------------------------------------------------
Robert E. L\'{o}pez       |       Internet:
Texas LoanSTAR Program    |       rlopez@loanstar.tamu.edu
The Hosequarium South     |       rlopez@cs.tamu.edu
----------------------------------------------------------
                 Texas A&M University 
                   boohoo.onyou.edu
----------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: scasburn@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Steven M Casburn)
Subject: SPY Magazine Dishes Dave
Organization: The Ohio State University
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 16 Sep 1992 00:14:39 GMT

     The current issue of SPY magazine (October, with Clinton on cover) has an 
unflattering column in it about our boy Dave. I won't type the whole thing in, 
but I'll give you the highlights:

     -- Dave is an anal-retentive fussbudget
     -- His "pathological angst and irritability" are a constant strain on his 
         staffers.
     -- Steve O'Donnell is the only writer Letterman will talk to.
     -- Dave is a slave-driver, demanding that his writers produce up to five 
         times the amount of material necessary for a night's show.
     -- Dave spends most of his time at home and has forbidden LNWD staffers to
         call him there.
     -- Morty is a "celebrity-schmoozer" who has no creative input into the 
         show.
     -- Dave has "deflowered" at least one of his young female assistants.
     -- GE officials actually *like* Dave making fun of them.
     -- NBC officials are, however, less amused.

     Want more than that? Buy the mag then, cheapskates! :-)

                                        Steve
|
-- 
    Steve Casburn (scasburn@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu)
    *The* Ohio State University
    I was a Cal Bears fan when they couldn't even beat a high school team!
       I think I can live with a loss to Purdue.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: veatch@cs.toronto.edu ("Timothy R. Veatch")
Subject: Re: WHATS WRONG WITH THE SHOW
Reply-To: veatch@cs.toronto.edu
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Toronto
Distribution: na
Date: 15 Sep 92 03:26:46 GMT

ph111-bx@violet.berkeley.edu (;;;;7202) writes:
>This isn't to say Letterman succeeds everytime.  The hallmark of the
>show, and what really separates it from virtually everything else on TV,
>is it's inventiveness and innovation.  The staff and show seem to
>thrive on trying virtually anything and it's a testament to their
>brilliance that it works so often.  Sticking cameras anywhere, calling
>payphones, flying falcons across office buildings, setting off
>fireworks in the studio, doing skits with stage and production staff
>and news and sports people, doing shows from their production offices.
>What other show attempts so much?  Carson was so formulaic and
>predictable that it seemed that if it wasn't for it being past their
>bedtimes, his prime audience would be the rest home crowd, since it
>wouldn't excite them too much while they were spoon fed their strained
>vegetables and drooling into their bibs.

Besides, who else puts their writers, producers, directors, cameramen,
stage hands, ..., and even pages on the screen almost making them
household names?  This, along with the ongoing gags/expressions
raises the level of *intimacy* with the TV audience.  The audience
feels close to the show and ultimately to its guests.

Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: mconners@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Michael R Conners)
Subject: Re: Dave's Morning Show
Organization: The Ohio State University
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 19:22:22 GMT


     I remember Dave's Morning Show- I was working at a NBC affiliate in
Columbus in the Traffic department. We handled all of the local commercial
Traffic (What commercials run when,etc.)

     We couldn't give the program away. The time period was all wrong, not
enough promotion, etc. The real problem was that the audience was NOT into
Dave's brand of entertainment. (But the daypart DOES enjoy soap operas...you
tell me who's got comprehension problems...)

     Dave bombed during the day, an evening slot came open and well, the
rest is history....
-- 
:  Michael R. Conners              : "Beware of all enterprises that require :
:  THE Ohio State University       :  new clothes."                          :
:  College of Business             :               - Henry David Thoreau     :
From: quennevi@IRO.UMontreal.CA (Nyarlathotep)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: more quotes...
Date: 11 Sep 92 03:40:00 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Universite de Montreal


 what about:
   
    beauty is my bidness
           and
    the actor/singer is dead!!!!

--
=======================================================
 "J'ai le vertige quand je vois de petits enfants, non
  pas parcequ'ils me donnent de fortes emotions, mais
  bien parceque je suis tres grande."
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: kena@ngc.com (Ken Anderson)
Subject: Re: Dave's Morning Show
Organization: Network General Corporation
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 18:19:40 GMT

In <1992Sep14.164723.15933@gdwest.gd.com> good@gdwest.gd.com (David L. Good) writes:


>Hey, does anybody remember back before "Late Night" (around 1980 I think)
>when Dave had a show that was on 9:00 - 10:00 *AM*.  I don't remember too

I remember that show.  I remember one show in particular.  The guest
was Steve Martin.  Steve agreed to go on the "early" morning show
as long as he didn't have to get out of bed.  So they rolled him
out in a bed and Dave went over to the bed and conducted the interview.
When it was over, Steve was rolled back off the set.

I don't think the morning show lasted very long.  A few months is 
a pretty good guess.

ken

-- 
ken anderson   kena@ngc.com
Disclaimer: insert your favorite disclaimer here
From: stephen@cs.utexas.edu (Stephen Craig Mautner)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Bill Murray
Date: 8 Sep 1992 12:52:55 -0500
Organization: U Texas Dept of Computer Sciences, Austin TX
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: priddy.cs.utexas.edu

One of my favorite guests on the show has been Bill Murray.  
Can anyone enlighten me on the show a few years back where Bill pulled
an obnoxious guy out of the audience and then brought him down to the stage.
While holding the guy's arms back, Bill said something like 
`Go ahead Dave, hit him.`  Dave declined. Then Bill replied 
`This man [Dave] has sworn not to hit another person until we have world peace`
or something bizarre like that.  Then Bill threw the guy off stage.

It seemed to me like it had been staged, but then Bill can do some 
really screwed up things some of the time.  So what's the scoop?  Was this
staged by the LNWDL staff, or did Bill arrange this on his own, or is it 
possible that this guy was really a regular audience member? 
Dave seemed kind of surprised by the whole thing.

stephen
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman