From: darichte@.stern.nyu.edu (David Richter)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Don't read this
Date: 9 Apr 92 22:14:35 GMT
Organization: NYU Stern School of Business

From @WUVMD.Wustl.Edu:J4S5@WUGOLD.BITNET Wed Apr  1 01:13:36 1992
Flags: 000000000401
Received: from WUVMD.Wustl.Edu by rnd.stern.nyu.edu (4.1/1.34)
	id AA00465; Wed, 1 Apr 92 01:13:22 EST
Resent-Message-Id: <9204010613.AA00465@rnd.stern.nyu.edu>
Received: from WUVMD by WUVMD.Wustl.Edu (IBM VM SMTP V2R1) with BSMTP id 4526;
   Wed, 01 Apr 92 00:13:12 CST
Received: from WUVMA by WUVMD (Mailer R2.07) with BSMTP id 1184; Wed, 01 Apr 92
 00:13:10 CST
Received: by WUVMA (Mailer R2.07) id 3532; Wed, 01 Apr 92 00:11:00 CST
Resent-Date:  WED, 01 APR 92 00.09.50  CST
Resent-From: "SHAPIRO,JOEL DAVID" <J4S5%WUGOLD.bitnet@WUVMD.Wustl.Edu>
Resent-To: "don't read this" <darichte@rnd.stern.nyu.edu>
Received: by WUVMA (Mailer R2.07) id 3494; Tue, 31 Mar 92 23:49:38 CST
X-Resent-Date:  TUE, 31 MAR 92 23.48.41  CST
X-Resent-From:  "GUPTA,MALINI" <M5G6@WUGOLD>
X-Resent-To:    "SHAPIRO,JOEL DAVID" <J4S5@WUGOLD>
Received: by WUVMA (Mailer R2.07) id 2109; Tue, 31 Mar 92 00:15:20 CST
X-Resent-Date:  TUE, 31 MAR 92 00.14.39  CST
X-Resent-From:  "SHAPIRO,JOEL DAVID" <J4S5@WUGOLD>
X-Resent-To:    "GUPTA,MALINI" <M5G6@WUGOLD>
Received: from husc8 (husc8.harvard.edu) by HUSC3.HARVARD.EDU (PMDF #12087) id
 <01GI93QLEFW09FMH8H@HUSC3.HARVARD.EDU>; Mon, 30 Mar 1992 10:42 EST
Received: by husc8; Mon, 30 Mar 92 10:42:36 -0500
Date: Mon, 30 Mar 92 10:42:36 -0500
From: mjnowak%HUSC.bitnet@WUVMD.Wustl.Edu
To: j4s5@wugold.BITNET
Message-Id: <01GI93QLEFW09FMH8H@HUSC3.HARVARD.EDU>
X-Envelope-To: j4s5@wugold.BITNET


----------------------------Original message----------------------------


                       WITH SEX ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

       This paper has been sent to you for good luck.  The original has bee
       worn out from having passed through the hands of so many people.  It
       had travelled around the world 69 times [Dear Reader: please help ke
       this count current.  If this letter falls into your hands after just
       completing one more circuit of the world, please add one to the
       count.]
       The luck has now been sent to you.  You will experience great sex
       within four days of receiving this letter, provided you send it on!
       Since the copy must tour the world, you must make twenty copies and
       send them to others.  This is no joke.  Send no money.  Send copies
       to people who need to get laid within 96 hours.

       After he passed this letter on, a Montana Spinach Control Officer go
       his penis stuck in a cow-milking machine and had the longest series
       of ograsms of his life.  John Elliot tried to pick up a prositute,
       but, because he broke the chain, was picked up by the police instead
       When they searched his home, they found magazines of little boys whi
       they showed to his neighbours.  In a suburb of Paris, Don Loray's
       trousers were ripped by an unsatisfied erection, 51 days after faili
       to circulate the letter.  However, before this happened, a condom
       machine gave him three condoms for the price of one.  (was this the
       consolation prize?)

       Do note the following:  Hebert Pudstrom received the chain in 1953.
       He asked his secretary to make twenty copies and send them out.  A
       few days later he encountered her in a red-light district making
       more than he had every paid her at work.  General George Patton,
       who sent the letter on, saw what he thought was a quarter in the
       street.  When he bent down to pick it up, a beautiful woman in a
       miniskirt walked by, and he got a great view.  His aide, Colonel
       Roger Bumswiver, who did not pass on the letter, tried to pick up
       a similar object but was fucked up the ass by a desperate gay when
       he bent over.  Heywood Daddit, an unemployed chicken choker, receive
       the letter and forgot that it had to leave his hands within 96 hours
       His wife then went bowling with his best friend and never returned.
       Later, after finding the letter again, he mailed twenty copies.  A
       few days later he got a wife and discovered that his old wife, who
       he thought was wonderful, had made love to him like a dead salmon
       for all these years!  Alan Fairchild received the letter and, not
       believing, threw the letter away.  Nine days later he spilled hot
       coffee in his crotch.

       In 1987 the letter received by a young woman in Texas was faded and
       barely readable, so she did not realize that this paragraph applied
       to her.  She promised herself she would retype the letter and send
       it on, but she put it aside to do later.  She was plagued with
       problems including herpes and other venereal diseases she contracted
       in her futile attempts to find Mr. Right in a singles bar.  The lett
       did not leave her hands in 96 hours.  She finally typed the letter
       and found a man with a 10-inch penis.

          You must distribute at least twenty copies within 96 hours of
       receiving this letter.  Those who do will find their love lives more
       fulfilling.  Those who do not will be doomed to one-night stands wit
       mechanical devices.

       Enjoy...