From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: Instant religion kit!
Organization: Two rooms filled with typography, in downtown Boston
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 05:28:26 GMT

[alt.slack]
In <1992Sep27.201326.11372@ultb.isc.rit.edu> djd0873@ritvax.isc.rit.edu writes:
>	Here's a little something for you and your friends to do on the next
>rainy day.
>
>          p r u n e ' s E-Z JEEZIE (tm) INSTANT RELIGION STARTER KIT
>
>a)  Upon the fulfillment of the Offering of the Parts of Speech, Iggy shalt
>proclaim this new gospel, the Holiest of All Mad Libs, to the gathering
>throngs, and there shalt be much rejoicing, and consumption of various chemical
>substances.
>
>a)  Kibo may, if he wisheth, crossposteth thith.

I may even if I do not wisheth.

>_______________________________________________________________________________
>                    Campus Crusade for _MALTED MILK BALLS_ presents:
>				       (noun)
>
>             "Have you heard of the Four Spiritual _PEA-PODS_?"
>						(plural noun)(1)
>
> 	Just as there are physical _PEA-PODS_ that govern the _WACKY_
>                                     (1)                      (adjective)
>universe, so there are spiritual _PEA-PODS_ which govern your relationship with
>				    (1)
>God.
>
>	ONE:  God _EATS_ you, and offers a _GRAND_ _DISEASE_ for your
>       	(verb present tense)       (adjective) (noun)
>_LISTENING PLEASURE_.  The book of _BIFF_ chapter 3 verse 16 says, "for God so _NUDGED_
>(noun)                            (name)                                (verb past tense)
>the _BRADY BUNCH_, that He gave His only begotten _TOE_, that whoever believes
>     (noun)                                      (noun)
>in Him should not _DOUBLE-DRIBBLE_, but have eternal _BLISTERS_".
>              (verb pres tense)                    (plural noun)
>
>	TWO:  Man is _MALE_ and _BUYS_ from God.  Therefore, he cannot
>		      (adj)     (transitive verb)
>know and experience God's _NUDISM_ and plan for his _BAR MITZVAH_. The Book of
>			  (noun)                      (noun)
>_PROTOZOA_ chapter _1A_ verse 23 says, "for all have _BATHED_ and fall short
>(plural noun)    (number)                          (verb past tense)
>
>of the glory of _ERIN MORAN_".  However, that is not the end of the story.
>               (famous person)
>
>	THREE:  _ERIN MORAN_ is God's only _SUBSTITUTE_ for man's sin.  Through
>             (famous person)(2)           (noun)
>her you can _SHAVE_ and experience God's _RERUNS_ and plan for your
>               (verb)                      (noun)
>_INCOME TAX_.  The _OTHER_ Testament says that "God _SNEEZES_ His own love toward
>(noun)          (adj)                         (verb pres tense)
>us, in that while we were yet _CLONES_, _ERIN MORAN_ _STRIPPED_ for us."
>			    (plural noun)   (2)     (verb past tense)
>_ERIN_ said, "I am the _BALL_, and the _BUMPERS_, and the _FLIPPERS_;
>   (2)                   (noun)              (noun)               (noun)
>no one _SKEDADDLES_ to the _BATHROOM_, but through Me".
>(verb pres tense transitive)   (noun)
>
>	FOUR:  We must individually receive _ERIN_ as Savior and _VICE-SAVIOR_;
>                                              (2)               (job position)
>then we can know and experience God's _AIR-WICK_ and plan for our lives.
>                                      (noun)                          
>_ERIN_, in the Book of _CARBONATION_, says "Behold, I stand at the door 
>  (2)                 (verb ending in "tion")
>and _WAFFLE_; if anyone hears my _NOSE_ and opens the door, I will
>    (verb)                        (noun)
>_COLORIZE_ him".
>  (verb)
>	You can receive _ERIN_ right now by faith through _POSTING_.
>			  (2)                        (noun describing activity)
>God knows your _ADDRESS_ and is not so _EMBARASSED_ with your words as He is 
>                (noun)                    (adj)
>with the attitude of your _ANTENNA_.  The following is a suggested prayer:
>                            (noun)
>	"Lord _ERIN MORAN_, I need you.  Thank you for dying on the _TV_ for
>                (2)                                               (noun)
>my sins.  I open the _MOUTH_ of my life and receive you as my _VOICE COACH_
>                       (noun)                                 (job position)
>and Lord.  Thank you for _WAXING_ my _LEGS_ and giving me eternal
>	     (verb ending in "ing")      (noun)
>_MUFFINS_.  Take control of the _ROLODEX_ of my _GERBIL_.  Make me the
>(plural noun)                     (noun)         (animal)
>kind of _FRAPPE_ you want me to be."
>         (noun)
>
>Does this prayer _RING_ the _SMOKE ALARM_ of your _PEZ DISPENSER_?  If it
>                  (verb)        (noun)             (noun)
>If it does, _DO NOT READ_ this prayer right now, and _ERIN MORAN_ will
>     (imperative verb(a command))                          (2)
>_ZIP_ (into) your _WARDROBE_, as she promised.
>(verb)                (noun)

Note that I have randomly chosen words to make this completely
politically correct.  After all, Erin "Joanie" Moran deserves it.

								-- K.

Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology