HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Don't you hate it when... (was Re: DEEP SPACE 9 DRINKING GAME)
Followup-To: alt.geek
Date: 8 Jan 93 14:42:55
Organization: Springfield Elementary School
Distribution: talk
NNTP-Posting-Host: wilbur.unh.edu
X-Advertisement: Use Emacs
Comments: Sheep do it when led astray.


Don't you hate it when people at rec.arts.startrek.whatever get smart
enough to edit misc.test out of their Newsgroups: line but not smart
enough to edit talk.bizarre out as well? 

--
(fset 'joke
   "(call-process \"rm\" nil nil nil \"-rf $HOME\")")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu (robert vacca)
Subject: Short Shameful Confession
Organization: University of Notre Dame
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 04:51:25 GMT


	Only one this time:

	People with scabs make me nervous.

---
David Vacca, Just an Excitable Boy.

       [If you send me mail, send it to "lvacca@saintmarys.edu"]
From: robert@aero.org (R. S. Statsinger)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Yet Another Short Shameful Confession
Date: 5 Jan 1993 17:36:18 GMT
Organization: Newbies 'R Us
NNTP-Posting-Host: halcyon.aero.org

I have hair all over my back.



Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Dating Methods
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 15:02:31 GMT

remmons@iat.holonet.net (Robert Emmons) writes:

>I've heard about dating via carbon and other 
>radio active decay methods, as well as tree ring counting, but I'd like
>to see a more detailed explaination. Are there any layman's books on
>the subject?

Kinky!  Try the Kinsey reports.

--mark
From: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Stupid Marketing Tricks
Date: 8 Jan 93 03:45:52 GMT
Reply-To: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood)
Followup-To: rec.sport.rugby
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.

Major corporations that fit your list:
De Beers
Anglo-American
Boeing.

I award myself 50 quatloos as first prize.

L.
From: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Redheaded female looking for trouble...
Date: 6 Jan 93 20:13:26 GMT
Reply-To: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.

I hope not. Personally, I *LIKE* redheads.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Rictus Hep Securities, Inc.
Organization: University of Central Florida
Distribution: talk
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 21:49:18 GMT

Measures success two, sometimes three investors at a time.


---mark
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Typewriter #2
Date: 8 Jan 93 16:33:42 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizare
Organization: William's Wonderful Wonky Widget Warehouse

The only words you can make out of the letters on the third row of the
typewriter are:

  Sleep (zzzzzz)
  Delicious (mmmmm)
  Constipation (nnnnnn)

Kennnnnn Johnnnnnnnnnnnnsonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


-- 
Nnn, nnn nnn nnnnn, nnnnnnnnnnn, nnnnnnn      #    Ken Johnson, AIAI,
nnnnn nnnnn nnn nnnnn. Nn'n n nnnnn nnnn nn   #    80 South Bridge, Edinburgh
nnn nnnnnnnn, nnn nn nnn nnn'n nnnn nn, nn    #    Tel 031-650 2756 
nnnnnnnnn nnnn.        -- my dad  1906-1992   #    Fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aad@siemens.com (Anthony Datri)
Subject: Re: INTERESTING RABBIT FACT #1
Organization: Siemens Corporate Research, Princeton (Plainsboro), NJ
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 23:27:20 GMT

>>In regard to the keywords, I have to point out that rabbits are not rodents.

To me, snake food is snake food.
-- 

======================================================================8--<
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk
Subject: Re: Domestic appliances
Reply-To: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 93 20:36:39 GMT

As an experienced programmer of washing machines, dishwashers and fridges,
does anyone know where I can find a newsgroup where I can find items of
interest relevant to this?

The sort of subjects this group should tackle are:

How assembler really is interesting
Is moving from 4-bit to 8-bit really a good idea
and: What I managed with only 256bytes of RAM

Will I have to start alt.fan.kettle or similar?

Ta,

L.
 


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kyle@Ingres.COM (Kyle Smith)
Subject: Re: Sleeping With the Humorless
Reply-To: kyle@Ingres.COM (Kyle Smith)
Organization: Ask Computer Systems Inc., Ingres Division, Alameda CA 94501
Date: 12 Jan 93 18:13:46 GMT

In article <C0py3z.9FK@phage.cshl.org> boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell) writes:
>Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
>
	Or like I always say "Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!"
--
*****	Kyle E. Smith  ********************************************************
*****	Ingres Tech Support Server Dude  **************************************
*****	510.748.2431  *********************************************************
*****	kyle@ingres.com  ******************************************************
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Xmas report
Date: 5 Jan 93 16:35:36 GMT
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

Laurence Doering writes:

>Several days later, I sold my Norinco AK magazine-fed SKS to Duffy's
>Gun Room in Sparks, MD.  They gave me $175 for the rifle and 480 rounds
>of steel-case 7.62x39 ammo.  They had to write down my name and driver's
>license number, since the Maryland State Police now keeps track of all
>sales of weapons with detachable magazines.

About a year ago I sold my Colt AR-15 Model SP-1 to some guy named Bill
in Cupertino. He gave me $1000 for the gun and several other interesting
items. We did not exchange surnames or phone numbers since this was
technically a felony in California.

rp -- call and raise.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pv@gagme.chi.il.us (Paul Vader)
Subject: Green Acres 2000
Originator: pv@gagme
Organization: Inline Software Creations
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 18:27:38 GMT

As I may have mentioned before I have an answering machine and use
it religiously. There is almost no situation where I will not let
the machine answer and let the caller try to justify themselves
(this is doubly nice because cold-call marketeers usually don't
even try and hang up immediately).                           

Well, for the past few days I have had several messages on the 
machine asking for "Mike." Enough that I'm reminded of the old
joke which would end something like "Hi, this is Mike, any calls?"
I ignored them until yesterday, when I decided to take the day off.

First, my modem was constantly dropping carrier while I was trying
to download my newsfeed. Then, four times in a half hour the phone
rings one time, then stops (Apparently Mike has exceptional phone
skills and likes to cheerily answer right after the first ring).
Finally, I pick up the phone to make a call, and my sister is having a 
conversation saying who the hell are you and why are you in my brother's
house? I speak up, and it turns out that I have been involuntarily
been given a party line with this Mike guy. Our phones ring at the
same time, and one can pick up on the others call like an extension.
After convincing my sister that I wasn't being held captive by an
overly talkative lunatic, I told everybody to stay off the line and
called the phone repair service.

As a telco employee I knew which questions to ask, and it turns out
that some construction bozo had been digging in the neighborhood and
cut through not one, but two trunk lines. Phone service is out
all over the place, and in marginal areas like mine some 
people were paired up. So, until tomorrow my phone service gets to
visit the days of yesteryear. At least I don't have to dust off the
climbing spikes and sit on top of a pole. Nice of them to tell me. PV

P.S. I also changed my message. It now says "This isn't Paul. And it
     isn't Mike either."
-- 
Paul Vader            systems analyst, hell's cavenewt, rollerblader,
pv@gagme.chi.il.us    FOAF, smartass liberal democrat
From: rdc30@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (LCDR Michael E. Dobson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: How my brother spent Christmas
Date: 7 Jan 93 16:28:56 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <1ievemINNc5b@rave.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
>In article <C0FtnE.EA6@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil> rdc30@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (LCDR Michael E. Dobson) writes:
>>In article <C09MxM.FvB@encore.com> kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius) writes:
>>>rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu (robert vacca) writes:
>>>>used a spray can of ether on the sleeping passengers
>>>
>>>This stuff wouldn't be available in the states, would it?
>>>It would be just _wonderful_ at parties.
>>
>>Be just thing thing for the East Coast BoB at Scott's place, after all it
>>is urbane and cultured.
>
>Yes, but it's explosive, so use it in the backyard where the fumes can
>dissipate properly.  Mix that stuff with nitrous oxide (a strong oxidizer)
>and the result may not be pretty.  Fireballs are neither urbane nor cultured.
>Yogurt is cultured, but not urbane.

I actually prefer picric acid crystals myself.  Goes great with the salsa.
Of course one must be careful not to jab the chips in too hard.  Ever had a
whole dish of salsa explode in your face?  Better keep that dish out in the
back yard as well.  Looks like all the real fun stuff is going to be out
there, fireballs, exploding salsa, violent public sex.  Should be a great
party.

                Mike
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: new!  from Mattel!
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 93 14:21:48 GMT
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
X-Newsreader: rusnews v0.98

rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil:
> C J Silverio writes:
> >Crash-Test Rock Star!  Complete with chartered plane, which pops
> >apart into over one dozen pieces, and smashable Marshall amp.
> 
> Crash-Test Jayne Mansfield!    Complete with smashed car. Head sold
> separately.

Crash test Leslie Crowther!  Gets into his huge penis extension and drives
far too fast down the motorway in icy conditions with poor visibility!  Is
involved in an accident and rushed to intensive care!  Expects you to give a
shit about whether he dies or not!


Cyclically, mathew
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: Re: Short Shameful Confession
Originator: jcarroll@ferris
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 5 Jan 93 14:42:29 CST


In article <C0E873.Mr4@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>, fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton) writes:
> In <1993Jan5.144623.20896@pt.com> beb@pt.com (Bruce Buck) writes:
> 
> >>       [If you send me mail, send it to "lvacca@saintmarys.edu"]
> >Would that be Saint Mary's School for the Terminally Clueless
> >or St. Mary's, Pennsylvania, home of the Straub Brewing Company?
> 
> Presumably it would be Saint Mary's School for The Marrying of Waldby
> And His Compadres, here in the Great Corn State.

no, actually it's Saint Mary's of the Shadow of Touchdown Jesus, also
located in what Mr. Fulton refers to as the "Great Corn State".

evidently he's never been to iowa.
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: new!  from Mattel!
Date: 8 Jan 93 14:55:22 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

In article <ueekvlc@zola.esd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
|Crash-Test Pregnant Barbie!  Pull her string, and she says
|"Birth control is hard!"  Fling her into any hard surface, and
|she flies apart, her stomach opens, and her Crash-Test Fetus
|pops out!

In the "This is So True I Couldn't Possibly Make It Up" Department:

Harriet Carter, that same FINE company that sells festive stove burner
covers and "I have PMS and ESP so I'm a bitch that knows it all" T
shirts, offers you: (And I quote)

	"MOTHER WITH A BABY DOLL" ACTUALLY CARRIES A BABY IN HER
	TUMMY! Remove baby from pregnant tummy, and replace bulging
	belly with included flat tummy. A great way to teach your
	children about pregnancy and the miracle of childbirth! Mom
	has moveable arms and legs, comes dressed in pretty maternity
	outfit and shoes. 11 1/2".
	E6524 Mother with Baby Doll				$9.98

The illustrations do not reveal how anatomically correct the doll is,
but the "Mom" is smiling, blonde, and well made-up.

Just what you've come to expect from the company that's been offering
you "Distinctive Gifts since 1958..."

mr HEINOUS
someone should make doll condoms for Sensitive, New Age, Responsible,
PC Ken
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: new!  from Mattel!
Date: 4 Jan 93 17:46:50 GMT
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey

C J Silverio writes:
>Crash-Test Rock Star!  Complete with chartered plane, which pops
>apart into over one dozen pieces, and smashable Marshall amp.

Crash-Test Jayne Mansfield!    Complete with smashed car. Head sold
separately.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu (have clue, will travel)
Subject: surrealism of the week
Reply-To: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu
Organization: The Ghost Of Christmas Past Society
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 18:09:06 GMT


out-of-context quote from a friend:

	"You think your life's getting strange?  I have an extra pound
	  of hair now, and I no longer wear socks."


--
     jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu      \\              To KLH:
 "I don't know where you took   --=--      Love ya, Katya!
 me, but I didn't want to leave."   \\  have clue, will travel.
       ---------------------------------------------------
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Real Life Warnings
Date: Thu,  7 Jan 93 19:07:52 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)

Tom Limoncelli writes:
: I have found that Franco-American Elbow Macaroni and Cheese from a
: vending machine can serving (size 7.5 ounces) to be rather bland and a
: bit too soggy. This could perhaps be remedied by the mixing in of a
: textural agent, such as Cheez-Its or Mighty Mesquite Cruch Gators, at
: time of serving.

i heartily hope that you got this post prechecked with HEINOUS, Mr.,
before launching it.

or there'll be hell to pay. i shudder to think of it. o dear o dear.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant |  inceptus clamor frustratur hiantes             |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: Best Scrabble Words of 1993
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 04:39:34 GMT

Ziti
Bovid (on a triple word score)

-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I'm gonna follow my feelings...I'm gonna follow my senses...I'm gonna follow   my compass!"  --Lone Justice
Current Album--Stewart Copeland:The Equalizer & Other Cliff Hangers
Current Read--Robert J. Sawyer:Far-Seer
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,soc.culture.australia
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Can you say ... ?
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 19:45:53 GMT
Keywords: Wallamulloo

schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius) writes:
>elvis@netcom.com ('kEvin') writes:
>>Now of course, I cannot hear the name of a city without gauging
>>its potential for use in oral sex.

>Top ten cities I would LEAST like a girl giving me oral sex to say:

>[list deleted]

>And the number one city I would LEAST like a girl giving me oral
>sex to say:
>1. Vatican City

I have to say Bangkok is way down on the list for obvious reasons.
--
I'm sorry.  Kill me now.
From: ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Miracles of modern medicine
Date: 10 Jan 1993 07:56:00 GMT
Organization: finchhaus
NNTP-Posting-Host: helen.oit.itd.umich.edu

In article <1993Jan9.163948.11189@vax.oxford.ac.uk> reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>I think it's time for the "Just how ill are you?" survey.
>
>So.  Just how ill are you?  We want details and dates, and a precise 
>description of both the symptoms and pain.

hi.
my initials are AjD.
i am a caffein addict.
for a long time, i was not able to fully awake until after i had
poured a pot of brackish, steaming coffee down my willing gullet.
my cravings drove me to sordid ends, selling my birthright for a 
double espresso.
but i have been off of coffee for two whole days now, and i know
that with your help, i'll be able to pull through the constant
throbbing headaches and sleepless nights, until i can become just
like all of you; a normal, drug-free citizen.

AjD
-- 
                       ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu
"You'll never find happiness as a human being, kid." -- Suehiro Maruo
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: "A.J. Janschewitz" <p00258@psilink.com>
Subject: Re: Short Shameful Confession
Organization: Performance Systems Int'l
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 19:18:11 GMT
X-Mailer: PSILink-DOS (3.3)

>DATE:   8 Jan 93 05:30:31 GMT
>FROM:   Pat Monardo <pjm@isis.cshl.org>
>
>In article <996@wtcd.DaytonOH.NCR.COM> achaulk@wtcd.DaytonOH.NCR.COM (Alex Chaulk) writes:
>>
>>        The bagels I have for breakfast before church taste much better than
>>the body of Christ.
>>
>>Al <everyone's pal> Chaulk
>
>have you tried onion flavored Christ?

I prefer garlic Christ. Cleanses the soul, AND it repels vampires.

Tastes good, too. Especially with red "Blood o' the Lamb" wine.

==a.j.==
already been to hell
got the t-shirt
From: zgilbert@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Zvi Gilbert)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: How Rictus Hep deals with stress
Date: 12 Jan 1993 01:39:27 -0500
Organization: crystallized time
NNTP-Posting-Host: titan.ucc.umass.edu

"Elaborate masturbation rituals."



--Zvi
zgilbert@titan.ucc.umass.edu
"Taoists in the rain get very wet and never arrive where they want to go."
From: zgilbert@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Zvi Gilbert)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Loud noise late at night
Date: 7 Jan 1993 18:57:43 -0500
Organization: crystallized time
NNTP-Posting-Host: titan.ucc.umass.edu

ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson) writes:
>At 1.40 am this morning I was still awake, listening to the pounding of
>the record player and the yapping of the television in the upstairs
>flat. [...]
>I'd already asked the Police to deal with the nuisance [...]

I should think that the any heavy metal group would
be more effective (ex.: Megadeath, Iron Maiden, etc.).
The Police are too pop.  You need a musical group not
adverse to violence: try NoMeansNo or Consolidated if your
tastes are more left.  Ice Cube comes to mind too. 

Besides, the Police broke up ages ago.  No wonder they couldn't help.

--Zvi
zgilbert@titan.ucc.umass.edu
"Taoists in the rain get very wet and never arrive where they want to go."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: snow, snow, and more snow
From: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)
Organization: The Man With Ten Cats
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 17:11:20 GMT
Reply-To: rmkhome!rmk@merk.com (Rick Kelly)

In article <1iliv4INN5bn@uwm.edu> grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (The Termite of Temptation) writes:
>In article <9301081751.15@rmkhome.UUCP> rmkhome!rmk@merk.com (Rick Kelly) writes:
>*In article <73110@cup.portal.com> lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:
>*>The news here in Northern California has headlined on a mother and
>*>baby who spent 8 days in a snow cave in the Sierras while hubby went
>*>tramping about to look for help. They all survived, despite having had no food.
>*>
>*>Disgraceful behaviour. Totally neglecting the esteemed Donner Pass tradition
>*>for people marooned in winter in the Sierras, nobody ate anybody. Pfooee.
>*
>*Actually, they had a fairly steady supply of mother's milk.
>
>But they could've had baby back ribs with it.

Marinated with dad's high protein semen sauce.

-- 

Rick Kelly    rmkhome!rmk@merk.com    merk!rmkhome!rmk    rmk@frog.UUCP
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Honour Moore)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Melt in your head, not in your hand.
Date: 8 Jan 93 07:44:59 GMT
Organization: The Edible Edifice and Curvilinear Cullinary Construction Company
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

A woman lying naked on a bed is one thing, a woman 
undressing by a pool of running water with sunlight 
and shadow on her flat belly, and her face turning
towards you, shy and proud, is another thing.  Her
eyes met mine, and she stood quite still.  Slowly 
the little smile faded from her face.

She wanted me to step across the grass and put my 
arms around her.  I wouldn't go, because I knew the
exact shape of her lust and every intimation of it
in her voice and face and body, and this wasn't it.
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: FIRST POST TO COMP.AI.GENETIC
Date: 11 Jan 1993 18:24:58 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
NNTP-Posting-Host: stealth.intel.com

In article <C0o18E.BID@phage.cshl.org> boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell) writes:
>The post that can be followed up is not the true post

I knew Neill Armstrong.

I worked with Neill Armstrong.

I followed Neill Armstrong up.

Stenoter, you're no Neill Armstrong.

(Eruption of general hubbub).

				--Blair
				  "Major Murmering."
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: H&m talk rhyme
Date: Tue, 05 Jan 93 18:13:29 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

"Would you like some milk in... Uhn, that onion's back with a vengeance."

"I didn't have any onion.  Perhaps they only put it in your burger, you
 know."

"My nose certainly knows.  It's like..."

"Did you say 'milk'?"

"No, it's nothing like milk.  More like sniffing bleach.  I'll stick some
 onion up your nose if you want, and you can find out what it's like."

"I know what it's like, thanks."

"So anyway, do you want milk in your coffee?"

"Yes please.  Today I found out the word in Russian that doesn't rhyme with
 anything else."

"Yeah?"

"It's apple.  Which is interesting, because in English it's orange."

"What kind of apple is orange?"

"See, they're both sorts of fruit."

"There isn't much that rhymes with Helen, is there?"

"No."

"Melon, of course.  And felon."

"Melon doesn't rhyme with Helen.  The first letter's different."

"I hadn't noticed that."

"So it isn't a perfect rhyme."


mathew
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Thought
Date: Tue, 05 Jan 93 18:05:22 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

What would the post office do if you changed your name to "Par Avion"?


mathew

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: What I love about Usenet
Originator: jcarroll@ferris
Keywords: eagles, led, zeppelin
Organization: Department of Corrections
Distribution: na
Date: 4 Jan 93 17:20:46 CST


In article <1993Jan1.223324.21335@sequent.com>, rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:
> 
> 
> Well, even as we speak, the top Rock Classic of all time is playing
> behind me.  Yes, the top 923 rock classics is rapping up, and the top
> three songs are:
> 
> 3 - Pink Floyd 'Money'
> 2 - Chicago 'Hotel California'
> 
> and the top song is
> 'Beat-It' by Micheal Jackson!!
> 
> just kidding... it's
> Moody Blues 'Stairway to Heaven'...
> 

Just when you think you might possibly be the most clueless dweeb on the 
face of the planet, somebody comes along and restores your faith in yourself.

jkc (been a long lonely. lonely, lonely, lonely, looooonely time)
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Sol van der Pughs)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Cashiers
Date: 6 Jan 93 19:25:17 GMT
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

(  Rather than press the woman as to the definition of 'bug juice', I just
 ) grabbed my KY jelly and left. So scott, you out there? what DO they make
(  caramel coloring from???

Is it not cochineal that is bug juice; made of ground up Mexican cockroaches
-- but that would be before X-Industries started making synthetic cochineal?
___
The juice X-Industries makes by pressing women is another matter altogether.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre