From: prauda@dol-guldur.hut.fi (Kristiina Prauda)
Subject: CASTLE: Christmas preparations
Organization: Helsinki University, Finland
Date: 05 Jan 93 14:55:07 GMT



Happy New Year to everyone!!!


So, Christmas is over, and it's time to see how it went in the
Castle of the ARCLand... Here are some preparations, for starters
(others will follow, won't they? :-)). 


Kristiina 
Official FireDancer of the RFA
prauda@dol-guldur.hut.fi


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"The years turn, in a Wheel Eternal, and though each year comes 
as new, it shall always be the same. Always the same, in Time and 
Reality, until Time and Reality both come to an end, and all shall 
be made anew, and what comes after, is yet unknown..."

The words whispered through Kathrea's mind - part of an old 
religious text from her own world; words that had engraved themselves 
deeply into her being even as a child, even though she did not
entirely subscribe to the views of that old prophet. Yet, tonight,
as she stood looking out into the icy darkness of a winter night 
that surrounded the Castle, they felt again as true as during those
everturning, neverchanging long years. This time of the year always
made her depressed, until the snows came... and the time of 
celebration that her people had called "baelyon", which meant
approximately "shard of light in the dark", or simply Midwinter 
Release ...and these people called Christmas. 

In fact, it was now almost Christmas, and the Castle was already in 
a high-spirited frenzy of preparation. Happiness and love were in the
air - well, they were *always* in the air in the Castle of Romance, 
but now there seemed to be an overflowing abundance of warmth, smiles,
laughter, song and happy whispers of Christmas secrets. It seemed to
Kathrea that, even though this festival was basically the same in
principle to the one celebrated in her world, its spirit was very much
different. It was not as holy and reverent and full of ancient white
light as Baelyon used to be - it was more down-to-earth, the light
golden and red and green rather than white. The difference could also 
be described as that between the tolls of a majestic bell - the 
Tahilyan bell of Release Morning, she remembered with an unexpected 
shiver of longing - and the jingle of tiny golden bells. And yet it was 
just as well - these people had their own customs,their own culture, no 
better or worse than hers. 

Indeed, certainly not worse. 

Kathrea was, by now, fully recovered from the exhausting days of the 
Telling of her story and the dangerous adventure of the NightMare, 
and she took part in the Castle life as any others did, no longer 
an outsider in any form or spirit. There had been a wordless 
acknowledgement of her position as the supreme magician in the Castle
long before she herself came to realize it, and even though it made
her wince at the responsibility, there was really nothing she could
do about it, except bear the matter with humour. After all, it WAS
rather amusing (even ridiculous, if her opinion had ever been asked 
on it) ..."Sorceress Supreme", indeed! 

She had noticed this curious change in her only lately, it had been 
so gradual: she was able to bear much more matters with humour than
she used to be. There was a new, calm, almost detached amusement in 
her as she regarded the everyday life of the people around her, as 
though only now she was able to truly look at them and not stare at 
everything through her own black despair. She was indeed healing - it 
was no longer to be denied - and, curious enough, she could not even 
feel enraged or sad about it, as she used to. It was simply something 
that was happening, and she could observe it in the same manner as she
observed others. 

Observation - she repressed her shudder this time, for it was a 
violent one. Could she ever now use that word without remembering 
the battles in the DreamWorld that she had witnessed, helplessly, 
unable to do anything else than sit and wait? Oh, it had been so hard
- harder than anyone could imagine. It had certainly been a fair
reprimand for her unwillingness to act in the War against the Dark
One... to see her friends, her people fighting for their lives, and
to know that you had the power to help them, at least somehow... but
to have no way of using that power... She had bit her lip, squirmed
in her chair, and cried for frustration, as her heart fought with the
Feral Knight, Mikandric, Alwir and the poor driven creature that they
called NightMare. All she could do was to clutch the sleeping Brianna's
cold hand in hers, as she watched her dear friend tortured in the
Dream... 

It had felt like ages, the torment of passive watching, of waiting
...and yet it had only been a matter of hours, really. She remembered
how her vigil had been interrupted - just once - as there was an urgent
banging at the door. She had fought to answer from the partial trance
that was upon her as she watched the Dream unfold before her eyes...

"We are not to be disturbed," she had called with a slow, cold voice,
as if in a dream herself. 

"But, my Lady," a worried voice cried from the other side of the door,
barely audible to her ears, "there are matters that demand decisions, 
and there is no-one to make them now! And the - uh - Lady of the 
Tygerwood wishes to speak with you about the current events in the
Castle."

"Tell her I cannot be disturbed now. None of us can!"

"But - my Lady - she is very persistent... And - and we are all afraid
for the safety of you and our Lord and Lady..."

Kathrea smiled at the memory - that had been the first time anyone
had used that title for the Feral Knight, but since then, it had stuck.
He chafed at the implied responsibility (though it was no more than he
had always done) just as much as Kathrea did, and that at least brought
her a sense of amused companionship. 

But by then, there had been no smile on her face, as she cried, her 
temper rising despite the trance, 

"No-one is to enter! Do so and you risk the death of your Lord and
Lady as well as three others! They MUST NOT BE DISTURBED!!!"

"But Lady, who will take responsibility..."

"*I* take responsibility for anything that is happening here, and I
intend to see it safely *through*! As to the rest of the Castle, I 
don't care if you give the responsibility to the damn *elves*, just as
long as they stay away until your Lady and the others are back safe 
and well!" Her voice was a steely hiss that cut through the door and,
it seemed, through the protestations of whoever it was behind the
door. 

"And *you*!" she added before the person could leave, as she fought 
to stay in contact with reality and hold to her DreamVision at the
same time. "Stay there and guard us from further intrusion! If I hear 
*any* more disturbance short of the end of the world, you will respond 
to me personally - with your *life*!"

"As is your wish, my Lady," she heard, uttered with a shaking voice,
before she had slipped altogether back into the Vision. 

She did not understand why Brianna and the Feral Knight had thought
it so hilarious when they heard about the exchange later on. Did
they really doubt that she would have killed the man, had he caused
some havoc that would have disturbed the spell of sleep and leave 
them trapped - or worse? 

Of course they did, and they were right. Kathrea pouted - there was 
simply no respect for wizards these days, not even among closest
friends. Or *especially* among those. 

But, oh, the relief when her friends had returned safely!! Even now,
for the hundredth time, as she looked out into the darkness, she 
clasped her hands together and thanked God for the sight of Brianna
opening her eyes and sitting up, and the Feral Knight rushing to 
embrace her. The image was rather hazy, though, since her eyes had
been filled with tears...

She had slipped out then, leaving her friends in their privacy (Mikandric 
had already wandered away), and pausing only to snicker at Steven's
answer to Mikandric's quiestion. The Force! Now what would be next??
The man she had ordered to stand guard was still outside the door
(he blanched noticeably when she came out), but she simply dismissed
him and went to have some rest. 

And now it was all in the past, and for a while, at least, there
had been no sight of new adventures or other troubles... For Kathrea,
it was certainly a welcome change - this was really the first time
she could freely enjoy the peace, both around her and inside her. 

She was simply waiting to see what the new year might bring, for
despite anything that old wizened prophets had ever said, there
was always the possibility of change. Maybe nothing in the scale
of the everturning wheel of the ages, but certainly in the smaller
scale of a life. Her life, the only one she had. 

Staring dreamily into the darkness, she did not notice Brianna 
approaching her, until the Lady of the Castle stopped on the other
side of the window and drew the heavy velvet curtain aside. Brianna
had also recovered from the nightmares she had experienced, although 
they might have added a grey hair or two into the prematurely snowy 
strands in her auburn hair. Yet, she seemed to grow more beautiful
every day, as Love shone through her - Love to the Land, to its
people, and to the one man that was the Land's Champion. Kathrea 
smiled protectively at her: it was so very easy to feel protective
towards Brianna. There was a strangely young and vulnerable feature
in her bearing, something that could never quite be banished, even
though the strand of steel in her character was at least as strong,
if not many times stronger. 

"What were you thinking of?" Brianna asked softly.

"Times past, and times to come", she answered with a half-mocking, 
half-wistful smile. " Deep things, mostly. Unhealthily deep, I'd say
- this time of the year always depresses me enormously."

"Yes, it's a pity that the snows have been late in coming", Brianna
said, understanding her meaning perfectly. "We were hoping for a white
Christmas, but I fear the hope will not be fulfilled this year."

"Have you decided on that gift yet?" 

Brianna blushed slightly. "Well, yes, actually I have."

Kathrea grinned. "But you want to keep it secret from everyone,
right?"

"Right. And have *you* decided on that dress for the party?"

"Oh, not really - but I'll think of something. I'm tired of looking
always the same... if I could only decide whether to concentrate
on the fabric or on the skin it doesn't cover..."

"Kathrea!" Brianna cried in astonishment, until she noticed a 
mischievous glint in the wizard-girl's eye. 

"Who says the elves are the only ones here who get to show off?"

So they turned away from the darkness behind the window, laughing, 
and went to help the elf-girls and Lady Elaine with the preparation
of Christmas decorations. And yet, as Kathrea glanced behind her,
to the inky-black sky, a thought formed in her mind - one that made 
her smile again, just as mischievously. 

"Why not? Maybe they could be... encouraged a bit," she thought to 
herself. 

Organization: Masters student, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA