From: jacobw@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jacob Solomon Weinstein)
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Originator: news@nimaster
Organization: Princeton University
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 04:25:28 GMT

In article <1992Nov12.162326.16772@tolten.puc.cl> mbfarah@isluga.puc.cl (MIGUEL BRAXTON FARAH) writes:
>THOMAS LUNDQUIST (thomasez@dhhalden.no) wrote:
>: In article <gunnarh.241.721248782@dhhalden.no> gunnarh@dhhalden.no (GUNNAR HORRIGMO) writes:
>: >From: gunnarh@dhhalden.no (GUNNAR HORRIGMO)
>: >Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
>: >Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 18:53:02 GMT
>: >From: slb22@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Seth L. Blumberg)
>: >Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
>: >Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 02:48:42 GMT
>: >
>: >rbw%apple.com@fico.UUCP (Randy Wong) writes:
>: >>dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>: >>>sdoran@sam.ksu.ksu.edu (Steven Marcotte) writes:
>: >>>>bgohari@wam.umd.edu (Babak Gohari) writes:
>: >>>>>tilden@sportster.ksu.ksu.edu (Tilden-Master of Illogic) writes:
>: >>>>>>dlutz@willamette.edu (David Lutz) writes:
>: >>>>>>>dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>: >>>>>>>>brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard) writes:
>: >>>>>>>>>galt%peruvian.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu writes:
>: >>>>>>>>>>Michael Schmahl [Black-Robe Mage] writes:
>: >>>>>>>>>>>lairdpg@lub001.lamar.edu writes
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>22161-bunz writes:
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>Brett G Person writes:
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>smith@ctron.com writes:
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IronEagle writes:
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Matt Welsh writes:
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HA! _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex Sinclair!
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Top THAT!
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm running NextStep on Atari 2600 Video Game System. 
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>Just last night I was able to get Windows to boot on my Sears PONG
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>game.
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer on my
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>Game-Boy.
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>I just installed a 10 Gigabyte Drive to handle all the replies!
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>However, it only runs at 230,000 Baud due to the large drive
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>slowing it down.
>: >>>>>>>>>>>I fear I will not be getting news any longer...  The batteries on my
>: >>>>>>>>>>>calculator-watch are running out.
>: >>>>>>>>>>My calculator-watch is solar...  And if I turned off the lights, NO
>: >>>>>>>>>>ONE would be getting news...
>: >>>>>>>>>Feh. I'm so slick NASA just awarded ME the TERADATA contract to run on
>: >>>>>>>>>my TV remote! They liked my proposal mainly because I'm ALSO able to
>: >>>>>>>>>shoehorn in the TEXAS SUPERCOLLIDER computations between commercials!
>: >>>>>>>>>Beat THAT!
>: >>>>>>>>Well, well, well. SSC calculations, huh. I built a system out of 2
>: >>>>>>>>inches of wire, 3 pennies and a AA battery that does realtime
>: >>>>>>>>calculations of particle vectors during the Big Bang. A complete
>: >>>>>>>>simulation of the first 2 years of the life of the universe, accurate
>: >>>>>>>>to the theoretical limit, takes about 5 seconds.
>: >>>>>>>And you guys think you are so great.  I just spent the last half hour
>: >>>>>>>getting X11 to run on my slide rule.  I am still having problems
>: >>>>>>>connecting it to the net around here, but I would welcome any
>: >>>>>>>suggestions.
>: >>>>>>So what!!! I'm running Xinitrc, TWMRC, Internet, and 27 muds off of a
>: >>>>>>paperclip.  Not to mention the fact that I am designing a new form of
>: >>>>>>television with 7000 pixels based off a piece of tissue paper.  Next!!!
>: >>>>>Man, that's baby stuff.  I'm running a particle accelerator utilizing
>: >>>>>matter-antimatter reactions in my doorknob, and calculating everything in
>: >>>>>the fourth dimension using a single dip switch and a large glass of water.
>: >>>>Child's play, I have an old piece of cheese that is, at this very moment, 
>: >>>>raytracing an actual model of the universe five hours from now, while
>: >>>>at the same time calculating the heat produced from the new intel
>: >>>>Pentium.
>: >>>And you people think that you are hackers! I'm currently engaged in a
>: >project
>: >>>which involves simultaneous simulation of multiple universes (To see what
>: >>>would happen if various constants change. Pi=8.4 is an interesting one.) My
>: >>>hardware consists of a single wooden pencil (no paper). With it, I can do
>: >>>real-time simulations of 2^32 universes in parallel.
>: >>You guys are wimps!!  I've just finished converting a microwave oven into a
>: >>paradimensional teleportation device.  The only problem I'm having so far is
>: >>that my breakfast bagel keeps disappearing!!  May have to eat it raw . . .
>: >
>: >Sorry, that's my fault.  I'm afraid that the high-energy laser-pumped
>: >negentropic vortex generator I made from my own nostril hair, which is
>: >currently cranking out entire new universes at the rate of 7.6 per picosecond,
>: >was breaking the FCC emissions limits and gronking your microwave's control
>: >panel.  It should work properly now.  Also, my cat Arthur was FTPing hundreds
>: >of terabytes of PD software from Epsilon Eridani in the year 4741 A.D. over
>: >the faster-than-light Ethernet interface I built for him, and this may have
>: >been loading the Net a little yesterday.  My sincere apologies to everyone who
>: >noticed any performance degradation.
>: 
>: Damn, I thought I was doin' smoe really advanced R&D. But I only have a 
>: humble feather pen with build in spell checking. It checks all languages 
>: since Adam & Eve plus a few forthcoming languages. But after what I've seen 
>: here, thats not good enough for a Nobel Price..I have to work harder...
>: Maybe some of the languages from outer space will help ?? I just have to 
>: use my FingerNail Time&Universe Transporter(tm) to get there and learn them.
>
>You're all a bunch of lazy pseudo-programmers. When you have, as I, set
>up an entire University Unix net (with Mail, IRC, more than 2 MUDs, ano-
>nymous ftp, etc etc etc etc etc ) on a Turing Machine, we'll talk.

Hahaha! Fools! You think that's impressive? I've wired together every
computer on the Internet with Quantum-Thin Wire (tm), and programmed it
to act like a really big abacus. Running 8 x 10^100^10^10^10^4
calculations a millisecond, I hope to solve the equation 5x = 10
by sometime next week. Now _that's_ progress.