Newsgroups: bit.listserv.hellas
Date:         Tue, 1 Sep 1992 09:39:40 EDT
Reply-To:     Styliani Nikouli <nikouli@ACSU.BUFFALO.EDU>
From:         Styliani Nikouli <nikouli@ACSU.BUFFALO.EDU>
Subject:      KOMMATIA THS ELLINIKHS PSYXHS
Comments: To: hellas@uga.cc.uga.edu

AFIERWSH: Ston ALEKSI HOBSON kai stin psyxi tou ws touristas....

BASOS DASKALAKHS  (1900-1944)

ENA AHMANTO EPISODEIO (Apo: p. "N. Estia", 1943)


    Htan polles meres pou eixame arxisei tin gkrinia, diladi, gia na pw tin
ali0eia, egw eixa arxisei tin gkrinia, mi tin anagkaza etsi kai sikwnotan
moni tis ki efeuge. Alla neuriaza omws ki ali0ina, oloena kai pio polu, pou
epitelous de sikwnotan moni tis nafeuge. Tis milousa apotoma i' de tis milousa
ka0olou. Eixa papsei, apo sxedio, na tin pairnw polles fores mazi mou eksw ta
vradua, opws vgainame prin, paraggelna kai tis servirizan moni tis fa.i. sto
dwmatio, ki otan guriza spiti polu arga, malista apo parea pou na me eixane
akomi perissotero neuriazmeno me tipota peiragmata an den eixa epitelous
kataferei na to ksefortw0w to amore mou, -katalavaina pws tromaze stin opsi mou
ka0ws empaina ki etrexe na me dextei, kai polles fores tin antilamvanomoun na
klaiei, ki as prospa0ouse auti toso polu na mi fainetai.
   Me enoxlouse eksairetika auti i katastasi. Ka0e fora pou guriza arga ti
nuxta, elega mesa mou pws de ginetai, apopse asfalws de 0a ti vrw pia spiti,
0a'xei fugei. Frontiza kai ksexnousa sto komodino upervolika arketa xrimata,
kai guriza epitides akomi pio arga.  Kai molis anoiga tin porta ki ekana na
idw mesa, i idia panta istoria, -eixe niwsei ta vimata mou sto diadromo ki
etrexe na prolavei na mou anoiksei ekeini.  To portatif me to prasino ampazour
anave to idio panta ekei stin akri sto trapezaki me tin plexti polu0rona, kai
to vivlio itan akomi anoixto sto xeri tis i' kanena poukamiso mou, pou mou
kentouse sto sti0os marka.
    Tis milousa apotoma i' den tis milousa ka0olou.
    Omws, na parei i orgi, den itan eukolo na kratietai kanenas to idio panta,
-fores fores sto proswpo tis an ekana kai tin kuttaza tetoia stigmi, itan
xumeni mia tetoia va0eia kai tromagmeni aporia. ena tetoio fovismeno sastisma
opws stilwne apanw mou sastismena ta matia, pou dustuxws de ginotan na krati0ei
kanenas alugistos sto sxedio tou, ki elega kamia imerwteri kouventa.  Auto
itane vevaia pou eixan na poun oloi oi filoi mou oti toumpariazomouna eukola
san eparxiwtis.  To metaniwna ki egw ka0e fora kai mou kostize polu tin alli
mera, otan ksanavriskomoun monos mou eksw, kai ta'vana me ton eauto mou, pou
den eixa kamei ena kouragio akoma na ksemperdeuw pia, kai na fugei apo panw mou
oli auti i ekkremotita.
     Omws, na to eksetasei kanenas kala, eixa ki egw, na parei i orgi, ta
dikia mou, giati de mou dine aformi, kammia 0etiki aitia, pou na vrw mesa mou
ena patima. Tin paramikri aformi de moudine. Viaza ton eauto mou kai fernomoun
etsi, ton viaza kai fernomoun alliws, tipota. Eixe katantisei na pairnw allous
dromous kai na pigainw se alla, entelws agnwsta kentra, pou den eixa paei pote,
gia na min tuxei kai sunantisw kanenane apo tis parees mas, pou me kserane me
tin Evelina. H idea pws 0a mou ginotan pali kammia erwtisi, kanena anosto
peiragma kai pws ta pragmata itane to idio simera opws kai xtes, m' ekane
anw katw.  To adiko den itane vevaia sto peiragma, pou 0a mporousa na valw ton
ka0ena sti 0esi tou, itane se menane.  Htane s' auti tin a0lia adunamia, pou
eixa arxisei twra twra na paratirw ki o idios sto xaraktira mou, na mi mporw
na ksempleksw apo ena toso trexoumeno, ka0imerino peristatiko.
    Eixa vrei mia gwnia s' ena gnwsto kafeneio kai ka0omoun wres ekei ta
vradina toutes tis teleutaies meres kai sungkentrwnomoun. H ali0eia einai pws
ama analua ta pramata oso ginotan pio polu, ta'vlepa ki egw ka0ara oti i
kopella kerdize pragmatika ena edafos mesa mou, pws sto va0os va0os kataferne
me to ena me to allo na mou ksupna adikaiologita mia sumpa0eia olo kia pio
upervoliki. Etsi itan. Den ekane to paramikro parapono pou den tin epainra
mazi mou eksw opws prin, ki oxi mono auto, alla oute kai moni tis elege na
vgei opws to upologiza egw. Ekson gia kamia diki mou douleia ta prw.i.na, kai
na to' xw pei o idios.  Olo ton allo kairo les kai itane i xara tis na ka0etai
kleismeni mesa na sugurizei to ena kai to allo kai na vriskei douleies. An
0elw malista na eimai dikaios apenanti ston eauto mou, ofeilw na omologisw
fanera pws pote allote to dwmatio mou den itan valmeno me toso gousto, kai
pote allote ta pramata mou den itane etsi noikokuremena kai me tosi taksi. Oute
mantilia i' kaltses mou xanontan pia i' mou allazontan stin plusi, oute
mperdepsies eixa kai ksanaplirwmata me tous logariasmous.  Eixe ena tetradio
kai moluvi sto surtaraki tou komodinou tis kai ta parakolou0ouse kataleptws
ola, pou oso gi' auto, pote den imoun etsi anegnoios me tis mikres upo0eseis
mou. Merikes malista fores mou ekane pragmatika entupwsi, pou enw gia mena
iksere na mi mou leipei tipota, ma oute to pramikro, ti stigmi pou 0a to
xreiazomoun, -oute ksurafakia na poume gia ti zileta mou i' xarti sto grafeio
mou ap' auto pou eixa adunamia na ka0oumai ta vradua na grafw tipota, -ekeini
paramelouse entelws ta dika tis, kai ton eauto tis.  Ton teleutaio kairo oute
den evafotane kan.
   -Eida kati poukamisa ektata, polu kali timi, kai lew pws 0a sou aresan gia
prw.i.na, mporouse na mou pei.
   -Kala, kala, pare mou, apantousa apotoma.
   Htane se 0esi na ferei anw katw olokliro to Parisi gia na vrei akrivws
ekeino pou i0ele, kai na mou to vrei oikonomika.  Ki ofeilw na omologisw pws
kai sta pswnia tis episis eixe polu gousto.  An tuxaine na ksexastw kai na to
deiksw, pws mou arese kati pou eixw agorasei, kai m' evlepe na prosexw
euxaristimenos, 0arreis kai tis xarizan kanena ourano, toso polu petouse apo
ti xara tis, ki as prospa0ouse kai s' auto toso polu na mi fainetai gia na mi
me enoxlisei.

			(SYNEXIZETAI)
GIA THN ANTIGRAFH
	STELLA NIKOULI
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