From: dkulkarn@mozart.helios.nd.edu (Dinesh Kulkarni)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: Re: MAMA'S BOYS HAVING A GOOD TIME IN THE U.S.
Date: 17 Apr 92 03:47:56 GMT
Article-I.D.: news.1992Apr17.034756.13278
Organization: University of Notre Dame, Notre Dame


In article <3401@screamer.csee.usf.edu> bhate@graphite.csee.usf.edu (Neeta Bhate) writes:
>
>I agree with the above completely. I have come in contact with  numerous
>such wimps. I think it is a case of wanting to have the cake and eat it
>too, If these mama's boys were to restrict themselves to American women
>it would at least not be so bad because for the most part American women
>don't expect the kind of commitment that we Indian women do. What
>bothers me the most is that if an Indian woman is involved it takes a
>long time for her to recover from the whole thing emotionally while Mr
>Foriegn returned eligible bachelor gets married to mama's choice and
------------------------------------
>lives happily ever after!!

This type of stereotyping is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. I know guys who have
been treated no better by Indian women both in India and here. Do you think
that it is a wonderful experience for such guys ? 


> 
>What these men need to ask themselves is the following : Would they
>approve of another guy doing the same to thier sisters ?
> 
>I personally know of one case where this smart aleck Mr X (just to be
>polite) went out with this Indian girl for two whole years (TWO WHOLE
>YEARS) and then one fine days calls her up (doesn't even have the guts
>to face her) and tells her he can't marry her because she he not from
>the same caste -- GIVE ME A BREAK -- 
......
>The jerk. 
>

Much has been said about attitudes of Indian men, esp. of those in the
U.S. in a stereotypical fashion. I would like to remind you that not
a few people have had problems with Indian women's attitude. In particular,
nubile Indian women (eligible spinsters ??? or whatever the PC term is)
in U.S. act extremely pricey simply because of the skewed sex ratio. They
expect too much attention and all kinds of peonic services from guys who
are interested in them. Well, you might say that guys should not oblige.
But you'll always find suckers like the Indian bride from your story.

Back in India, money-oriented attitudes are rampant on the brides' side.
Their primary interest in most arranged marriages w/ "foreign returned"
guys is money and comfortable life in U.S. One of my friends recently
put it rather nicely - guys are being treated like vehicles for coming
to U.S. These women are waiting with all their bags packed and passports
ready for the first availble flight (aka a foreign returned man who is
a victim of your stereotype based bashing). Recently, one of my friends'
engagement was called off by the bride's side because he didn't have a
green card - the assurance that the bride would be able to live in U.S.

However, it would be WRONG to conclude that all contemporary Indian women 
                     ------
are nasty or materialistic or ... (fill in your favorite counterpart of 
mama's boys, jerks etc.). The point is that given the chance, some men
AND women do behave in an unacceptable fashion. Use of nasty adjectives
might be a fashionable thing in the feminist circles, but it is unfair
and unreasonable. 

>Would like to know what you all feel about this. I think this story
>needs to be turned into a book or a movie.
>
>--Neeta Bhate. 

Dinesh Kulkarni
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian