From: hira@cme.nist.gov (Ron Hira)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian
Subject: Re: Lighten up people!
Date: 23 Jul 92 13:34:37 GMT
Reply-To: hira@cme.nist.gov
Organization: National Institute of Standards and Technology

In article <1992Jul21.184718.1@wharton.upenn.edu>,
kamdar64@wharton.upenn.edu writes:
|>From: kamdar64@wharton.upenn.edu
|>Subject: Lighten up people!
|>Date: 21 Jul 92 23:47:18 GMT
|>
|>
|>								July 21,1992
|>
|>Hi everybody!
|>	I just came across this newsgroup yesterday!  Well I really didn't get
|>to read all the files, but I have some comments to certain people in
|>particular!
|>	To Venu (I believe that's your name) I think I read the most absurd
|>comment from you! (no offense!) You made it seem like IA women have it
so much
|>easier than IA men!?!?!?!? That's ridiculous (Of course, that is,
coming from a
|>female perspective!) Wait, where are the other female opinions on this
subject-
|>I can't believe I'm the only one who disagrees!
|>	To Saeed, I think you had some really interesting points, but GEEEEEZ
|>OH MAN!  Don't you think you were getting a little carried away with
nightmares |>about your parents arranging your marriage?  Seriously?!
Just chill and don't
|>worry about things like that. (Sometimes fate does the most unexpected!)
|>	To all those confused parents about raising your kids in America- Don't
|>worry about it! Just do what you think is right and keep an open mind.
I'm an
|>ABCD ( and I actually think that is a misleading name, because I'm not really
|>confused about being a desi) but anyways my family does tons of mixed
American
|>& Indian activities!
|>	Well, I hope I didn't offend anyone!  And if you have any comments
|>please send it to me or through the news group.  Well thanx for your time!
                           
As Venu pointed out in a later article, I started the discussion about desi 
women. However, I never stated explicitly that they have life any *easier* 
than desi men (but maybe I did it implicitly). Many desi women have a much
tougher life than desi men, when the family is conservative. I know of several
examples where a son was allowed to go away to college, but the daughter was
forced to live at home and commute to college. These draconian measures are
pretty appalling to me.

My point was that white american society seems to view desi females differently
from desi males, particularly in dating. Obviously, white american society
is not monolithic, but we can make some generalizations here. 

I'm an ABCD and I'll admit that I'm quite confused about being a desi, which
is one reason that I read this forum (definitely not for the a.c.k flames).
I sometimes thought that my feelings toward society were pretty unique, 
especially since I had and have few desi friends, but I'm starting to see
a lot of parallels in the discussions going on. Certainly I could use a bit 
of lightening up, but that's what I have weekends and evenings for. Oh yeah,
I'm going to the Blues festival in Philly this weekend, maybe it should 
hold off until next weekend :-).

Now for something completely different. How do your parents view race 
relations within the US, this is mostly directed towards those who've 
grown up here. My folks have sympathy with african americans, but definitely
no empathy for them. In fact, they get on my case when I talk down about 
white society, and have quite a different perspective towards white society
than I do. I have a few ideas about why, but I'd like to hear what other 
people think first.

Ron
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian