Newsgroups: alt.romance

   This is my first time posting here so please bear with me on the
composition as well as all grammer, or lack thereof. I have a question
in which I would like to have other's input, so here goes.

 Are second chances in a relationship ever possible (or probable) and
how are people's feeling on how one would go about getting that second
chance?

 Here's the story: (I'll try not to be long)
  
 After a broken marrage (13 years) I've had several relationships which did 
not go anywhere until a year and a half ago when I started a relationship 
with a girl I'll call Mindy. The first year was good (actually great) but 
in the last six month's it became apparent that we where not growing closer 
or really sharing our feeling with each other (more on that later). Two weeks 
ago Mindy decided to end our relationship due to that fact. I have also learned 
that because I was not paying attention to her in the last few months she 
has become interested in someone else. Now after she ended this relationship 
I sat down and did some deep deep soul searching of myself, and not only have I
realized how much I love her, (and I believe she still has a love for me
that is hidden under the hurt and pain that I created) but I have come
to learn a lot about myself. Kinda like a bolt of lightning hitting me.
I have come to realilize that for the first time in my life I have found
someone I really do love. I have also come to realize that I have had a exstream
fear of rejection which is the cause of myself not allowing someone to love me
or myself from loving someone else. I tend to pull away when I or someone else
starts to get to close. I was afraid of getting hurt. I have
never been very good at communication either in personal relationships or
any other type relationship. This also is because of that fear of rejection
of either myself or my ideas. I have never had any close fiends in who I
could or would talk intimatly with about my feelings. Now I am trying hard 
to do a 180 degree change in that area. I have talk to two fiends (people
I knew but have never talk to before about myself) but have been extreamly
helpful to me in bringing out my feelings and openning up. Now I know its
possible Mindy will never give me a second chance but this is my feeling on
the possiblity. I know I cannot demand or be pushy but I know it would be 
worth taking the chance. As of now I have told her my feelings, my fears,
and everything else. (Things that have occured in my life that I tend never
to let people know about.) Now I must let her make her decisions but I want
to be fiends with her so that if at all possible we can have that second
chance. Now Mindy has stated when she ended our relationship that she wanted
to remain friends, therein lies my hope. This has refused to see me this 
last week and I understand but has told me to call her next week and we maybe
able to get togather to talk but only as friends. Thats ok, if I must I will
be the best friend one can be, and I will continue on with my life, but I
would also like to have that second chance if things don't work out for her.
There is more I could put in here but I think that is enough for now.


Newsgroups: alt.romance