From: v100ra7t@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (O.G.)
Newsgroups: alt.vampyres
Subject: REPOST (altered):  *** Gothic *** ... part two
Date: 10 Nov 92 08:35:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

Continued...

CHAPTER III:  MARISA WILD -- As transformation completed
    The realization of our transformed state left me stunned.  Johann seemed 
better able to comprehend all of what had happened to us within the last few 
hours, while I could not help but feel as though the events of the night were 
being experienced and heard in a nightmare that had yet to end.  Indeed, I
could not help wishing and praying for it to mercifully end.  Between us, I 
had always been the dreamy one, while he was the more rational one--that 
had not changed.  I did not want to accept what had happened.  Yet, the truth
could not be evaded forever, and this I would quickly learn that first night
and the sensations of our awakening to the transformation.
    For some time, I lay against Johann outside in the night, his strong arms 
around me giving me a yearned for sense of security.  I imagine we sat like
this for half an hour or so.  He had regained a little, but not much strength,
and I became his bedfellow while he recuperated.  We sat in silence, if not
in deep thought.  He may have been thinking, but I do not recall what I was
thinking, if anything, for as I said, I was left dazed by the incredibly 
uncanny experiences of the night, and my thought capacities were minimal.
    I did not even notice my environment, though perhaps I perceived the
color of the nightsky, the scents in the air, the sounds of the outdoors at
night, the feel of the breeze.  I may have sensed them all, but none of these
left an impression upon me; nothing registered upon my psyche, not then.
    Then, unexpectedly, a wave of wrenching pain suddenly gripped me, and I 
pulled away from my brother's embrace quite abruptly.  The aching throbs began 
deep within me, and gnawed and gnashed as though I were being devoured from 
the inside out.  Mindlessly, I was bent double and clutching at my body.  My
hands balled into fierce fists and I felt my eyes grow round in agonized 
horror as tears sprang to my eyes.
    "Marisa!  What is it?"  My brother's expression clouded with dark concern.
    I did not know, and this only augmented my growing fright.  My first 
reaction was sheer panic, because I felt convinced of the macabre notion that 
some sort of parasitical monster had taken up existence within my body and 
was feeding off of my insides; I even considered an entire colony of such 
creatures within me, for the pain was unbearably spread and great.
    But, the wave gradually subsided, and I recognized the sensation in its
dullest throbbings as hunger; I had felt hunger of such magnitude and force
that it left my brain exhausted.  This did nothing to mollify my fears.
    Quickly, another wave gripped me, though as strongly as the first, and I  
I tried to sit up, thinking a shift in position would abate the pain that was 
concentrated now in my abdomen.
    "Marisa!  Tell me!"
    "It hurts." I murmured.
    "What hurts?"
    "My stomach.  I'm so hungry."
    I slowly lifted my eyes, fighting vertigo and nausea, and met his in 
silence.  We both understood what this meant.  Still, he asked in a quiet, 
wary voice, "Do you want food?  I can get something from the kitchen."
    "No.  I'm not hungry for food.  Oh, but, I'm ravenous, Johann.  I need to
eat."  I arose to my feet.  I was unsteady at first, but soon found my bearings
and equilibrium.  Johann was still weakened from Valerien's attack and remained
where he was.
    "What are you doing?  Where are you going?"
    I had cast him one sad look, and began to leave him.
    "I don't know.  I only know that I desperately need to find food."
    How odd it felt as I spoke that I should refer to our sustenance as food.
    "Marisa," my brother began, but did not continue.
    "There is no other way."  I proceeded to speak rapidly.  "I will go and 
bring back nourishment for us both.  Oh, Johann!  I'll return soon!"
    Driven by hunger and a fiercely demanding compulsion I had never known 
before which I would later understand to be greatly honed nocturnally
predatory instincts, I hurried past the three erected crosses into the mist-
laden barren fields--there grew no harvest here this year--my feet feeling 
impossibly light on the ground.  I felt a cool welcoming breeze before me lift
my hair and press my nightgown against my legs, and the scents and sounds of 
the night seemed sharper to my senses.  I heard without fear the calls of owls 
and wolves, smelled the perfume of foliage and dew.  Above, the stars were 
still out, and the crescent moon lit my path.
    At the edge of the field, I tore through the woods surrounding the farm. 
Though the field covered an expanse of land, I did not feel the effects of
exertion, and my pace never slowed as I ran.  I did not know my destination, 
but I felt compelled onward by hunger.  It felt as though I had not taken
nourishment in days; but though my body felt starved and empty, I was not 
lacking in the strength required to seek food.  I felt only the mildest 
exhaustion, perhaps from the ordeal of having fed both Valerien and Johann 
that night, but it was far from enough to stop me.
    Past moss-covered trees and flowering shrubs, I ran.  When we were little,
Johann and I used to come here to weave fantasies of unicorns and fairies.
In those days, we had been told they were make-believe, yet held onto those
dreams as our very own.  We used to believe we were the only ones to believe
them, so they were ours and ours alone.  Those days had held no darkness or
danger.  I looked back on them with longing, but my present need drove such
thoughts from my mind.
    Here, the sounds and scents were everywhere.  I heard the scamper of
feet, smelled the presence of animals.  But it was not any forest creature
that I sought.  My hunger did not lead me toward four-legged prey.
    At the edge of the woods, I came upon another farm.  It was our nearest
neighbor,  Frau Dorff's place, and I did not think that I had consciously 
thought of, or even considered, this place as I had run, but the sight of it 
gladdened me. 
    Frau Dorff was a widow older than my mother, overbearing, but respectable
and well-intentioned.  She lived with her five nearly grown children and two 
boarders.  One of the boarders had been with them for many years, and he 
worked at saloon keeper, but the other boarder had only recently arrived.
    It was the second boarder, Herr Kupfer, that came to my mind immediately 
as I set my sights on that farmhouse.  I had seen him in town several times
over the past few months, and we had been introduced.  I did not know why I
thought of him, but I considered no one else of the household but him.
    The front door was locked--this had been one of the safety precautions
that the rash of inexplicable murders had led the people to take--but circling
the house, I saw that several of the bedroom windows had been left open for
the night.  I entered the farmhouse silently through Herr Kupfer's open window.
    He lay asleep on his bed, a heavyset man of medium height.  Silently, I
stole over to his bed and bending over him, gently shook him awake.
    "Herr Kupfer?" I whispered.
    He awoke groggily.  "Hnh?  What?  What is this?"
    I brought my finger to his lips.  "Shh.  It's only me.  Marisa."
    "Marisa?  What on earth are you doing here?"  He looked about his darkened 
bedroom, trying to comprehend what was happening, then focused his attention
on me when he realized I wore only my nightgown.
    I took on an air of distress.  "Please, sir.  I need your help."
    "My help?  Now?  How did you get in here?"
    "My brother is missing, and I don't know what could have happened to him."
    "Maybe he's gone out.  Young men do like to enjoy themselves, Marisa."
    "I don't know!  I fear something's happened!  He hasn't returned yet, and 
the saloon is closed.  I hurried here and was let in by Herr Wernig as he was 
returning from town, but he is drunk and has gone to bed.  I don't know who 
else to go to."
    "Alright, Marisa.  Let me get dressed."
    "We must be quiet, though.  I don't want to awaken Frau Dorff or her 
children."
    "Wait outside.  I'll be there."
    Nodding, I left his room through the bedroom door, and went out the front
door.  My hunger was insistently gnawing at me, but now, I could anticipate
an end to it.
    It took him fifteen minutes before Herr Kupfer joined me outside and led 
me to the barn where we saddled his horse.  I noted that he had dressed rather
stylishly and had done his hair.
    "How long has he been gone?"
    "I awoke and he was gone.  I don't know when he left."
    We rode on his horse to our farm, myself seated behind him, crowded into
the narrow saddle behind his heavy build.  We arrived at the farmhouse shortly,
in a fraction of the time it had taken me to get to Frau Dorff's farm.  There, 
we dismounted and I led him inside.
    "He has not returned yet."  I said.  "I am growing worried."
    "Don't worry, Marisa.  I remember when I was young, I was out until four
in the morning most nights.  Men like to keep themselves in the company of
agreeable females, and you know your brother is a healthy young man."
    It sickened me that this man would vulgarize Johann in this way, but I 
said nothing and kept my disgust hidden.
    "But, the murderer.  No one is to go out at night, anymore, since all 
these killings have begun."
    "Chances are, your brother is fine, my dear.  It may even be some time
before he returns.  If you'd like, I can keep you company until he returns."
He seated himself on a couch.
    His eyes had changed from impersonal to insinuating.
    "Would you like that, Marisa?"
    "Oh, yes, Herr Kupfer.  You are too kind."
    "For you, gladly."  He watched me.  "You're a very attractive girl, and 
I find your company very enjoyable."
    I lowered my face as though I were blushing.  In reality, I was grimacing.
"Thank you."
    "Do you enjoy my company, being with me?"
    "Yes, I do."
    "Then, why don't you come closer to me, Marisa?  Sit with me."
    Slowly, I advanced toward him, and seated myself on the other end of the
couch.  He patted the cushion beside him, and I obediently moved closer to
him.  His arm went around me, stroking my back with his wet hand.
    Sitting so close to him, I could smell the sweat on his skin and the 
blood flowing beneath his skin.  The latter excited me incredibly, but I kept 
my composure, knowing what I was to do.
    "How old are you, Marisa?" he asked.
    "Sixteen."
    "Sixteen?  What a child you are!"
    "I'm old enough." I replied indignantly.
    He laughed.  "Oh, really!  'Old enough?'  Old enough for what, Marisa?"
    I remained silent and he brought his face closer to mine.
    Seeming to find great pleasure in that phrase, he continued.  "Are you old 
enough to be with a man?  Is that it?  Old enough to make agreeable company?"
And he lunged forward, his mouth targetting mine.  Before I could dodge him, 
his mouth was invading mine with repulsive lust, the stench of his mouth 
overwhelming me.
    "No!"  I struggled from his grasp, leaping to my feet before he could
get a stronger hold on me.
    "No?  Oh, come now, Marisa!  Your brother is out for the evening and you 
come to get me--whom you hardly know--of all the people in this town, actually
entering my bedroom while I'm asleep wearing only your little nightie!  You 
bring me here, rather than have me take you into town, and entertain me alone.
You can't tell me that you didn't want my attentions!  What sort of girl are 
you?"  He grew angrier by the moment.
    I sought to calm him, becoming very fearful that he would leave.
    "I'm sorry, Herr Kupfer.  Don't be mad.  It's just that I would really
like to go outside right now.  It's a lovely night for a stroll, and I think
that would be so romantic."
    I watched as Herr Kupfer regained his composure and with a cold smile,
rise to his feet.  "Very well, Marisa.  If it's a romantic stroll you want."
    Taking his arm, I led him out into the backyard.
    Sensing he was still angered and afraid he might still try to leave, I
said cheerfully, "Isn't it a lovely night?  I used to be so afraid of the 
nights when I was little, but now I find them so much more welcoming."
    "You aren't afraid of the dark?"  I was winning him over.
    "Not anymore.  I find it so mysterious and alluring."
    He spoke to flatter.  "That is strange.  It's you I find mysterious and 
alluring.  I've noticed you from the first time I saw you.  I also know that 
I'm not the only one who finds you lovely, and I consider it my great fortune 
to be here with you."
    "How kind you are!"
    "It's true."  His eyes were again lustful, his smile sinister.
    I led him to where Johann lay a few feet away, but before Herr Kupfer 
could notice my brother lying on the ground, I stepped in front of him.
    "Do you know what I would like most in this world, Herr Kupfer?"  I asked,
smiling coyly.
    "What is it, Marisa?  Jewels?  Dresses?  To visit glamorous cities?  Any
thing you would like, I would get for you.  Any place you want to see, I would
take you to."
    "No, none of those."  I lowered my lashes.  Instinctively, I was seducing
this man using wiles I had never known I possessed.  "What I would like is
knowledge: to know more about this world, and what it means to be a part of it.
I want to be worldly, like you.  Teach me what that means."
    And this time, he lowered his face slowly toward mine, and I was able to
escape his kiss at the last moment.
    My arms clutching his shoulders with abandon, I could smell his blood
rushing through his thick arteries and veins beneath his clammy skin as my open 
mouth pressed fiercely against his throat.  In an instant, I felt two of my 
teeth piercing the soft, flabby flesh on the side of his neck.  Before he could 
realize what was happening and try to resist, I felt all my teeth enter into 
him, ripping open wider the warm wound, and sighing in feline contentment as 
the blood filled my open mouth.  Hungrily I sucked the bittersweet, thick 
liquid into my throat, taking in the dark red liquid in huge greedy swallows.
    Quickly, my hunger pains subsided, and then my hunger was appeased, and
sated, I lowered the dying man onto the ground as his strength to stand ebbed.
I saw his frightened, bulging eyes as the prospect of death appeared to him.
    "Johann, drink.  There is still much left, and perhaps drinking now will
help you heal faster, as a sick person eating will restore his energy."
    Johann glared at me.
    "How the hell could you have done this?"
    His unexpected reaction brought tears to my eyes.
    "I was so desperate to eat, Bruder, and you yourself said that we would 
choose only the bad people.  His death will be attributed to the killer.  
Please, don't be angry at me about this, now.  I couldn't take it, now."
    Johann looked away.  "It isn't that.  I'm not angry at you for having
killed Kupfer."
    "Then, why?" I asked, my voice pleading.
    "Forget it.  It isn't important."
    "No, please tell me!"
    "I said, forget it."  He was cold, and unapproachable.
    Resisting my attempt to aid him, he staggered over to the dying man and 
lunged ravenously for his throat.  No, not just ravenously; there was savagery 
in Johann's consumption.  With a ferocity that shocked me, Johann tore into 
the man for his blood.  I knew that I had not been thus, and I had lost more 
blood than he.
    Johann drank angrily from the man on the ground, then abruptly stopped. 
With his newfound energy, he stopped his feast and his hands fiercely punished
the pitiable man's body--in deliberate, calculated blows, he violently and 
maliciously broke every bone in Herr Kupfer's hands, his arms, his back and 
legs as his mouth had just punished the man's throat.  I looked on, puzzled by 
my brother's actions.  There was something barbaricly savage in Johann's 
appearance at that point, but rather than frighten me, it perplexed me.
    Managing only horribly weak, gurgling screams in the unspeakable agony he
must have felt, Herr Kupfer was killed as Johann resumed his feast, glutting 
himself on the man's blood.
    Strengthened if not yet completely healed, Johann stood up unfalteringly
and hauled Kupfer's body into the distant woods and abandoned him there,
thus purging our farm of his foul presence.
    Returning, Johann returned to his old self to my great relief, and I 
thought it best not to question him, for fear of antagonizing him.  It was not 
that I was afraid of my brother because I knew with all my heart that he would
never hurt me, but I abhorred it when he became remote and silent toward me,
shutting me out.  I was always hurt and saddened when he became this way; he 
sometimes would be that way for great lengths of time and it was always 
difficult to draw him out as hard as I tried.  But the coldness had melted
on its own, and he walked over to the graves as I went to the well.
    Then, as he stood, he suddenly clutched his throat with his hands, his 
face twisting torturously.  His low voice cried out in a howl of raging agony.
    I ran to him, and watched in horror as the sides of his throat began to
enlarge and swell.  The swellings became a deep purple color.
    "What's happening?"  He asked when he saw my worry.
    "I don't know.  Your throat is swelling, Johann."
    He groaned as the pain grew, and I stood, helpless and not knowing what 
to do.  Then, as another groan tore out of him, he cried, "Bite me, Marisa!"
    My expression was hesitant.
    "Please, Marisa!  The blood is rushing into my head!  I can't stand this,
it feels as though I'll explode!  Drink the blood.  Now!"
    Nodding, I reached up to his throat as he bent toward me, and I drank from
him.  From the first moment my teeth punctured him, the painfully tensed 
muscles of his body began to relax.  Each passing moment he grew more at ease.
I drank gently and sparingly, keeping the puncture wound small.  I felt him
wince at the feel of my bite, but he did not move away or tell me to stop.
    After a few moments, I pulled back.  "Bite me, Johann.  I don't want you
losing blood.  Drink from me as I drink from you."
    I returned to his throat, and I felt him lift my hair.  The breeze kissed
the sensitive skin of my throat for briefly before his lips did.  I felt his
teeth tentatively grazing my throat, before I felt his teeth reopen the healing
wound caused by Valerien.
    It did not hurt so much this time, and I concentrated on sipping from him
to forget the pain.  But, my torn flesh no longer no longer felt the stinging
pains; and where the hurting had been, I felt a sort of pleasure.  I did not
recognize it as pleasure at first, but the sensation grew stronger.  It was 
pleasure combined with dull, tolerable pain.  At the same time it ached, it 
felt incredibly good.  Gradually, the pleasure overrode all the pain, and my 
head was spinning from the sensations I was feeling.  I felt myself floating 
away, my body abandoned and my mind ignored.  Only sensations were left, and 
they ruled my body with exciting and dizzying ferocity; only sensations now
mattered, and I wanted to cry out for them to go on and on.  I trembled as the 
intensity of it overwhelmed me.
    His blood was being taken down my throat all the while.  There was great
pleasure to be felt from the drinking, and to be felt from being drunk from.  
Combined, it was all but indescribable.
    I don't know how long we were like this, but we were clutching each other 
tightly, desperately, needing and wanting and demanding.  Neither of us had 
ever felt anything like this.
    I knew innately that Johann felt the sensations.  I could feel the length 
of Johann's body against my own, and he was shaking hard.  I knew he felt the 
pleasure, and that it was affecting him as profoundly as it was me, perhaps
more so.  His grasp tightened as the waves of sensations washed over us.
    He cried out, unable to control himself, and the sound of his voice brought
me back to the situation.  Slowly, I pulled away from his throat to inspect his
throat, and he reluctantly stopped his feeding, too.
    "Your throat isn't swollen, anymore."  My voice was breathless.
    "I think it was swelling because I had never been bitten, yet was taking
in blood." he told me.
    "Does it still hurt?"
    "No."
    Our eyes met and locked.
    "Marisa." he said softly.
    I tore my eyes away.  "Come on.  Let's wash off the blood."  Making my 
voice cheerful, "It looks rather gruesome to be all covered in blood, you know."
    After washing the blood off of us from the water in the well, we continued
to sit outside in the dark near the graves for the rest of that night.  We did
not know what to do, where to go, and it seemed only natural that we should 
seek the comfort of our parents, if only from their graves.  We did not state
that this was our intention, but we had been continually gravitating toward 
the crosses all night, and finally took our positions beside them for the
last part of the night.  I sat beside Johann, who kept his arm around me.
    A growing sense of dread overcame me as the night neared daylight, but
I could not elaborate to any extent as to why.  I voiced my concerns to Johann,
who told me he felt it, too.  It was as if a weight had been laid on our
hearts that grew heavier as time passed.
    Then the first band of lilac appeared in the dark violet sky as it began 
to lighten, and to my shock, the dim light became blinding in my eyes; though 
I knew that the sky must barely be a dark shade of blue in the horizon, I had 
to squeeze my eyes shut.  The air was heating rapidly around us.
    "Johann!  The sun burns!" I cried, raising my hand to shield my eyes from 
the lightening horizon.
    "I feel it.  Hurry!  Inside."
    Holding hands, we rose and fled into the dark house together.
    "The cellar!"  He pointed to the stairwell leading down into the depths
I used to fear as a child.  I had outgrown my fear, but retained an
apprehension of the lower level.  Something about going below the earth
had always unnerved me.
    "Come, Marisa!"
    Nodding, I descended with him into the lower level, where there were no
windows and we were submerged in complete darkness once we shut the door
behind us.  To my surprise, I felt not even a twinge of my previous appre-
hension of the dark.  I welcomed it with all my heart.
    "Here, we'll be safe." he reassured me.
    "But, why has the sun grown so bright?"
    "The sun hasn't changed, Marisa.  We have."
    "So now we are no longer able to go out in the sun.  We have become true
creatures of the night."  There was no sadness in my voice as I said this,
only finality.  "We are to exist only by night, never to see the sun, again."
    "From now, we must find shelter before the sun rise."  Able to sense 
the locations and positions of the objects in the cellar despite the pitch 
black, Johann took my hand and led me to a trunk that lay on the floor.
"We must get our rest during the day, so that we will have all the night.  The 
coming morning is raising the temperature of the cellar.  If we close ourselves 
off, perhaps it will stay cooler."  Instinctively, we were both driven to the 
act of burrowing into the darkness.
    The two of us lay together in the trunk, which served as our bed during
that first slumber.  I followed him, stepping in and stretching out inside.  
Johann pulled the lid down over us, sealing us off from the rest of the world.
It did remain cooler in that pure, dank darkness than in places where the sun's
rays, no matter how faintly or diffused, were able to penetrate, and I lay
close to Johann in the pitch black, lying on my side against him as he lay
on his back.  His arms were around me, and we held one another closely.
    Though we had shared a bed often in the last year, there was something
about this time that was somehow different.  Our existences had been irrevo-
cably altered, and we were still unsure of all that had happened, and what we 
were to expect.  We were not entirely the same people we had been before the 
night, no matter what Johann would have us believe.  This I knew, and I 
sensed that Johann knew this, too, no matter what he actually had said.  Even
lying here in my brother's arms, I felt very differently.
    My mind reeled as I remembered the sensations that had rocked us when we 
were drinking off of one another.  I had never felt such pure sensation in my
life.  I did not know whether it was good or bad, but it had been absolutely 
overwhelming.  It had overrode my mind and thoughts, until all I could feel 
were those earth-shattering sensations.  They had been created by the act of
being bitten.  And if only for the feelings, I wanted very much to be bitten 
again.  Lying here, I wanted to ask Johann to bite me, again, yet there was 
something about the sensations that had disturbed me.  It had felt somehow so
unsettling to feel such mindless pleasure at Johann's hands, for he was my
brother, whom I had always considered virtuous, reserved, and just.  Such
feelings had transcended all thoughts and devastated all reason, and there
was something unpure about them that I could not equate with my brother. 
    Another reason for this change in my feelings in lying with Johann, an
undeniable one, was because Johann had spoken of his love for me.  It had felt 
odd, if not really unpleasant, hearing my brother say such things to me, and 
I had not known how to respond.  He had wanted me to himself, had always loved
me so deeply.  His love had been vast, and yet unacknowledgeable, forbidden.
Until now, when such rules no longer applied.  We were refuting those laws
of mankind that banned or limited sensuality and passion, and in doing so, it
was as though we were creating our own laws.
    I thought of Friederich, and his courtship.  For several months he had
been very persistent in wooing me, and I had returned his fondness, I suppose.  
He had been very attentive and entertaining.  I had certainly thought him quite 
good-looking with his brown waves and blue eyes, and I had liked looking at 
him.  He was knowledgeable and worldly, yet also pleasantly cheerful and some-
times quite jocular, and I found myself enjoying his company very much.  Away 
from the eyes of other people, we would walk hand-in-hand.  When we drove in 
his carriage, he would put his arm around me, and I still remembered the 
small thrills I had felt at being held by him.  Still, they had been nothing
compared to what had just transpired between Johann and me.
    Friederich's death had truly affected me, and as I thought of this, I 
fully realized for the first time that Valerien had been his murderer; he had 
killed my suitor, perhaps for the purpose of getting at me.  I shivered 
uncontrollably at the thought.
    "Are you cold?" Johann whispered.
    "I'm not cold."  I pressed closer to him.  "Johann?"
    "Yes?"
    "Did you mean what you said earlier to me?  Did you always want me for 
yourself?"
    He swallowed.  "Yes."
    "Even when Friederich was courting me?"
    "Yes."
    "Then, always you've loved me more than you should have?"
    "Love?  It was--is--much more than love I feel for you.  Marisa, you've 
always been a part of everything I thought or felt.  It's an obsession."  
He was silent for a moment.  Then, with quiet resolution, he spoke again.  
"Marisa, had Friederich not been killed by Valerien, I would have killed him 
myself.  I would gladly have broken all his bones as I did Kupfer's."
    I gasped.  "Johann!  You can't mean that!"
    "It's true.  At that time, I hated him because you were mine, and yet he
he was winning your heart."
    "I'm your sister, Johann.  Then and now."
    "That you were so close to me in kinship and spirit only gave me more
cause to love you."
    I said nothing.  I did not know what to say.
    "We have all the time in the world, Marisa.  If you won't hear me now, I
will not talk of this anymore."  His voice was low, but strong.  "You are 
mine.  You've always been mine and always will be."
    In silence, we lay.  His hold on me was firm as I lay against him.  I felt
his heart beating under my ear.
    I felt as though I ought to say something, felt the need to speak, but I
remained silent.  Swiftly, a whirl of thoughts danced in my head.
    Had he really felt such devotion to me, it would have been incestuous. 
Incest!  Between brother and sister?  Didn't such alliances result in disfi-
gured or demonic offspring?  It was condemned by every law of God and man.  
How wrong of him to have loved me so!  
    But then, what right had I to anything holy or spiritual?  What right had
I to claim anything in the name of the law or of God?  Did I not deliberately 
go out and seduce a man to his death?  It would not be the last time for 
either Johann or myself.
    The laws of mankind and Heaven no longer pertained to us.  We could not
live by such laws, and these laws that used Death as the ultimate punishment
had no effect on those who could not die.  Laws punished wrongdoers, but they
could not punish us; therefore, though laws only maintained peace and order,
we need not live by peace or order.
    Did right and wrong matter anymore?  Was Johann right in saying that
morality only mattered to the mortal?  If so, we had no use for such concepts
as right and wrong, good and bad.  Everything was neutral, and we could justify
any action we took.
    Oh, I did not know anything anymore.  All I knew at that moment was that I 
did love Johann so very much, and he loved me, and we could never bear being 
parted.
    I had always felt so much more for him than for anyone else, even my 
parents and uncles.  Had he died, the grief would have driven me mad.  For 
him, I felt such fierce devotion, as I knew he felt toward me.  For me, he 
would have done anything--I did not doubt that he had harbored murderous 
thoughts of Friederich.  And now I understood why he had been as vicious in
his treatment of Kupfer as he had been--because Kupfer had wanted me, and I
in turn had seduced him.  Perhaps, he had seen Kupfer as Friederich during
his frenzy.  Had I always sensed the intense depth of my brother's love all 
along?  I realized I must have, and still did nothing to dissuade him.  And I 
knew I had made his love for me grow in my actions toward him; I had always 
been an affectionate child, and especially so with my reserved brother.  I 
could never have turned him away, had he come to me.
    In creating our own laws, erotic pleasures and forbidden loves were not 
to be denied us.  Our only concern was that we be permitted to love one 
another wholly and completely, and spend all eternity together.  The outside
world and its laws and rules could no longer affect my brother and me.  We
hd created our own world, with our own laws and goals.  As we had when we 
were children, we had created our own world of dreams and solitude.
    I felt his hand rubbing my back, his heartbeat growing faster.  I thought
for a moment that I heard his breathing grow harder, but it was a sigh.
    As a completely irrelevant realization suddenly hit me, I spoke it aloud, 
"Johann, we aren't breathing.  I suppose that's how we are able to remain in
this sealed box.  But, what does this mean?  Are we still alive?"
    "I couldn't tell you, Marisa."
    Nothing more was said, and his hand grew still on my back as we lost 
consciousness to the daylight hours.

TO BE CONTINUED
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