From: oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil)
Newsgroups: alt.feminism
Subject: Re: birth control [Was: Re: Choice for men]
Date: 14 Sep 92 16:50:48 GMT
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha

zen@death.corp.sun.com (d) writes:


>In article <j-yn0ff.tyger@netcom.com> tyger@netcom.com (Kitty in the Middle) writes:
>> In article <1992Sep13.221346.824@cco.caltech.edu> peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri) writes:
>>>awerling@nmsu.edu (WERLING) writes:
>>>>Seems to me the pressure for birth control is about equal...men are
>>>>pressured into using condoms and women are pressured into using the
>>>>pill.  

May we point out that using the condom is not life-threatening, whereas 
using the pill can very well have very adverse effects for the woman?  A woman
who uses the pill must have her blood pressure monitored periodically.  She
may only get three months supply at a time so that her doctor can make sure
that the pill is not causing problems for her.  Every year at Planned 
Parenthood, a woman must sign forms stating that she understands the 
side effects of the pill may include blood clotting and some types of breast
cancer.

>  Not quite... it seems to me that you have two basic types of birth
>control; one type is one partner's task to ingest, put in, whatever,
>that is often done before sex (a pill, iud, diaphram, whatever), and,
>most importantly (for the men), doesn't decrease sensitivity or
>sensation for the man.

The pill must be taken every single day at approximately the same time for it
to be effective.  It is not simply taken before sex.  It is a form of birth
control that the woman must be very conscious of since she must remember to
take her pill every day at the same time.  Other types that you mention above
must be inserted by a doctor, requiring a visit to the doctor's office.

>The other kind is the more insidious method --
>one that needs to be donned (by either partner) right before the
>critical moment (before intercourse or oral sex, if you're a
>safe-sex-kind-of-person, which I know you all are...), and affects
>sensation and spontaneity.

Condoms and foam (you folks always remember to use a second type of birth
control with your condom, increasing its effectiveness from 70 percent to
more than 90 percent, don't you?) need not destroy spontaneity.  If the 
woman helps to seductively place the condom on the man's penis and if the 
man helps to seductively put the foam or gel into the woman, it can be part
of the sexual act.

>  Now, if everything were equal, the best thing to use would be the
>thing that's the easiest and least invasive for the couple.  For men,
>the choice is usually fairly clear -- if at all possible, condoms
>(pretty much the only widespread effective option for men, sans surgery)
>are not that desirable, for three reasons -- sensation, loss of
>spontaneity, and, perhaps best of all, they don't have to hassle with
>the details of birth control.  The pill seems to be the easiest to use
>and is the least invasive, at least from the man's point of view, but
>has various side effects.

If the couple is not worried about HIV, that is, if the couple have both
tested negative and are mostly just worried about birth control, there are
condoms which are thinner, allowing more sensation.  Again, the condom 
should be accompanied by contraceptive foam and gel.  

>  What does this all lead to...?  It seems to me, in my less than vast
>experience and perceptions, that during fairly casual sex condoms are
>often used, but during longer relationships the burden of birth control
>is often placed on the woman's shoulders, er...  well, you know :-)

This is very likely true.  There are ways to at least have the man shoulder
part of the burden of birth control that the woman usually has to take upon
herself.  I suggest that the man pay for 50% of the pill, including 50% of
the physical exam the woman must undergo before the pill and once yearly 
after starting the pill.  I also suggest that when foam and gel are used that
the man, not the woman, insert the foam or gel in the woman -- this can help
add spontaneity to the act by being made part of foreplay.

Personally, all I ask is that my boyfriend be made aware of the burden I
undergo to avoid pregnancy by doing what I describe in the above paragraph:
I ask that the take 50% of the financial responsibility of contraception.
When we do use methods like foam and gel, I ask that he help me use it so
that he is conscious that avoiding pregnancy is part of his responsibility
as well.

>  Anyway, a tiny bit off the birth control track, it also seems that
>condoms are becoming more and more popular, thanks to a smorgasbord of
>diseases, but I haven't heard if this is causing women to use less of
>the "traditional" birth control methods or not.

I hope not, since condoms aren't all that effective: around 70-80% depending
on how well they're used.

>> [...]
>> While I would agree that 
>> women are urged to go with the pill, I don't think there is anyone out there
>> holding guns to women's heads saying "Ortho-Novum or DEATH!" If the pill
>> causes problems for you....use those condoms, whether it's you or your 
>> partner!

Remember, the pill is about 99% effective if used correctly.  Condoms are
much less effective than the pill.

>  Of course, from reading this newsgroup, it seems that men are so loath
>to take on any kind of responsibility at all that I'm not at all
>surprised that there aren't other effective options for men than what
>currently exists.

In my own personal opinion and in my own relationship, communication is part
of contraception.  If a man is so loath to take on any kind of responsibility
then it is my opinion he has no business have sex with his girlfriend.  There
are ways for him to take responsibility, as I have pointed out, even if it
means just paying for half (50%) of her prescription.