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Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: The Definitive STAR TREK Parody Chapter 14 (DS9)
Date: 24 Jan 93 19:06:59 GMT
Organization: SOCS, McGill University, Montreal, Canada


                     The Definitive STAR TREK Parody

                                Chapter 14

                          The Legacy of Locutus

On the bridge of the Excelsior, Captain Sulu presses a button on the 
right hand side of his chair.  "Captain's Log, stardate ... whenever:
the Excelsior has engaged the Borg, a race of cyborgs who conquer
civilizations in search of new technology.  Somehow, they have managed
to assimulate my old friend Captain Montgomery Scott who now calls 
himself Locutus the Second.  My old friend is now my greatest foe."

O'Brien interupts.  "With all due respect, Sir, can't this wait?"

Sulu nods.  "Back when I was a Lieutenant on the Enterprise, the Captain
would choose the most precarious moments to stop and update his log.  He
said it helped calm his nerves."

"Does it?"

Sulu sighs.  "I've been sent seventy years into the future and now face 
death at the hands of a former crewmate who's been made into a cyborg."

O'Brien nods.  "Understood."

Sulu shakes his head.  "How is it possible that Captain Scott can be 
alive after all this time?"

O'Brien raises his eyebrows.  "The Enterprise-D received a distress call
from the U.S.S. Jenolan.  When we went to investigate, we found it had
crashed on a Dyson Sphere with all hands lost -- or so it had appeared.
We found Captain Scott in a transporter pattern buffer, the transporter
having been locked into a diagnostic loop.  Anyway, he said he was on 
his way to the Norpean colony so we gave him a shuttlecraft and sent him
off."

Sulu looks devasted.  "This is all a bit much."

O'Brien nods.  "Sir, I understand what you're going through.  The Borg 
assimulated Captain Picard of the Enterprise-D but we were able to get
him back."

"How?" Sulu asks matter-of-factly.

"We beamed him off their ship using a shuttlecraft.  We then used his 
link to the Borg collective to put them in regeneration mode, rendering
them inert."

Sulu shakes his head.  "Our shuttlecrafts don't have transporters."

O'Brien nods.  "It wouldn't work anyway.  The Borg learn from previous
encounters."

Sulu looks puzzled.

"All Borg everywhere are part of a single mind.  The individual ships 
are independant only so far as subspace communication isn't 
instantaneous."

Sulu stares at O'Brien in disbelief.  "So what *can* we do?"

O'Brien looks thoughtful for a moment then answers.  "There *is* a way
to get past their shields."

"Well?"

"We could beam antimatter through a subspace rift."

"A subspace rift?"

"Yes Sir!  I'm sure I could create one using the transwarp drive."  
O'Brien smiles.  "The Borg would never suspect such a manoeuver."

Sulu looks doubtful.  "Not even with Captain Scott a part of their 
collective?"

O'Brien is hesitant.  "The technology may be from his time but our 
understanding of subspace has improved a great deal since his day."

Sulu nods.  "Proceed."


Down in Engineering, O'Brien explains his idea to the Excelsior's Chief
Engineer.  "Rather than using the transwarp drive to propel us, we can 
use it to create a subspace rift between here and the Borg ship."

The engineer shakes his head.  "It'll never work."

O'Brien leans forward.  "Sir, as one Engineer to another: I can do this."

The engineer shrugs his shoulders and allows O'Brien to proceed.  When
everything appears to be ready, O'Brien tells the Excelsior's 
transporter chief to prepare to transport the contents of several
anti-matter containers to the co-ordinates of the subspace rift on his
mark.  O'Brien says "Now!" and opens the subspace rift.  The antimatter 
is sent through.

"Do you think it worked?" O'Brien is asked.

O'Brien looks unsure.

Meanwhile, on the bridge, Lieutenant Baka makes an announcement: "Sir, 
their shields are dropping!"

Sulu stands up.  "Transporter room, beam Captain Scott aboard!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
goes the Borg ship.

"Transporter room?"

"We've got him, Sir!"

Captain Sulu smiles.


O'Brien proceeds to Sick Bay to speak to Captain Sulu.  There, the 
Excelsior's Chief Medical Officer is removing Scotty's cybernetics.

Scotty shakes his head.  "They took me apart, piece by bloody piece ...
and then they used me to kill.  I couldna fight 'em.  No matta how 
hard I tried, I couldna fight 'em."

Sulu nods.  "It's over now."

O'Brien steps forward.  "How did it happen?"

Scotty looks at him.  "You're from the Enterprise-D, aren't you?"

O'Brien nods.  "I was there when they found you."

Scotty takes a deep breath.  "I found a way to modify the shuttlecraft
engines -- had it going at warp 9.9!  There I was, in uncharted space.
Then, the Borg ship arrived."  He trails off.

Sulu turns to the doctor.  "Look after him."  He goes to activate an
intercom on the wall.  "Lieutenant Baka, take us back to Deep Space Nine."

O'Brien nods.  They go to the bridge.


On the bridge, Sulu makes a point of thanking O'Brien.  "The Federation
will probably give you a commendation for this."

O'Brien smiles.

Lieutenant Baka makes an announcement: "Captain, we have Deep Space Nine
on long range sensors."  He pauses.  "Sir, it appears to have been 
attacked."

NEXT: "Holocaust"

Martin Phipps
SCAVIE AWARD WINNER
LOULA@hep.physics.mcgill.ca
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative