From: fms@sw.stratus.com (Faith Senie)
Newsgroups: rec.radio.amateur.misc
Subject: Re: Sexist Statement
Date: 8 Sep 92 15:48:49 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc.

I was going to stay out of this -- I really was.  For the most part, I could
care less about the "guys" stuff -- I use the phrase for mixed groups, myself. 
But this last one, well, I just couldn't ignore it.

In article <6_pn32b@dixie.com>, jgd@dixie.com (John De Armond) writes:
> winter@Apple.COM (Patty Winter) writes:
> 
> >Stop and think how you'd like it if, like Sharon, you showed up to help put
> >up a tower and were asked to cook food for the other workers. Not that 
> >feeding the workers isn't important, but why should someone assume just
> >because of your appearance that cooking is the most important skill you have
> >to offer?
> 
> Because MOST women ham ARE more interested in cooking for the guys
> than in manhandling a tower guywire.  No different than when I
> go with my wife to glass art meetings.  She does stained glass and 
> I do fused and slumped glass art.  I am in no way offended when someone 
> tells me of the "husband events" or tells me where the guys are
> off talking about whatever.  As a matter of fact, I'm honored that someone
> was that concerned with my pleasure.
> 

But remember, John,  the glass art is only one little hobby.  Imagine if EVERYTHING
YOU DID involved having people come up to you and tell you that "the menfolk were
gathering over there"?  Think about being one of only a small handful of men
in a college that was 80% female.  Imagine going into an occupation that was
predominantly female.  Then start several hobbies that are female-dominated.

THEN come tell us that we're taking it too seriously.

I've gone to college alumni gatherings where other (male) alumni from classes
10-20 years before mine will come up, introduce themselves to my husband and
start up a conversation.  When my husband introduces me as class of '85, they
look at me, say "oh, hi" and carry on the conversation with my husband as if
I wasn't even present.  My college was 80% male when I was there -- the ratio
was much worse when these fellows were there, so they automatically assume that
anybody female at an alumni gathering is automatically spouse of alumnus, never 
thinking about the fact that the woman might just be an alumna.

I've gone on interviews where (male) receptionists have called the (male)
interview contact to say "there's a lovely young lady here to talk to you".
I've never heard any of them say "there's a handsome young gentleman here
to see you" when the men come to interview.

I was taking a videotape course through my company's education center.  The only
other person taking the course was male, and our contact in the ed-center was
male.  When I first walked into the classroom, the ed-center contact was in 
full conversation with my classmate.  When he finished his conversation, the
ed-center fellow turned to me and said "hiya, honey, who are you?".  Not a
terribly professional turn of phrase, in my opinion.  And, at the end of the
semester, my classmate told me he was initially disappointed to have a woman
in the class with him, because he didn't want to have to keep helping me with
the homework.  It was only at the end of the semester, after I had spent most
of the semester helping _him_ with the homework, that he told me this.

So what does this have to do with Ham Radio?  Nothing -- and everything.  PLEASE
don't judge whether you point somebody at the kitchen or the guy wire by what
gender they happen to be!  I'd be much happier pulling guy wires than I would
in the kitchen.  Just because most of the female hams YOU know are more
interested in cooking than in hoisting towers doesn't mean we ALL are.  And
I'm sure there are many male hams out there who would be much happier
in the kitchen than they would hoisting towers, but everybody assumes they
want to do the tower work, so they never get the chance in the kitchen.

Don't assume for anybody -- give people a choice!  "We've got a group over
here pulling the tower into place, and there's another group in the house
working on feeding the herd.  What's your preference?" is a very simple thing
to say, and offends nobody -- male OR female.  THink about it this way.  If
you replace male/female with white/black in what you are thinking/saying/doing
and don't find it racist, then you're probably not going to offend anybody.
But if replacing male/female with white/black makes it racist, then chances
are pretty good that at least one of the genders in question would be offended.
You wouldn't make racial distinctions in your actions -- why make gender
distinctions?

My apologies for the excess bandwidth here, but having somebody say that women
have an attitude when I'm getting this crap from all sides just hacked me off.
Damn straight I've got an attitute -- I earned it!

73 de Faith N1JIT


-- 
Faith M. Senie            InterNet: fms@vos.stratus.com
Stratus Computer, Inc.    InterNet: fms@hoop.sw.stratus.com
55 Fairbanks Blvd.       Pkt Radio: n1jit@ka1srd.ma.usa.na
Marlboro, MA 01752           Phone: (508)460-2632

"I'm afraid I don't know very much about Romulan Disruptor settings" --Spock
Newsgroups: rec.radio.amateur.misc