HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rbw@fico.uucp
Subject: Re: Food Vending Machines
Reply-To: rbw@fico.UUCP (Randy Wong)
Organization: The Fair, Isaac Companies, San Rafael, California
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 19:20:58 GMT

In article <1992Aug12.151827.24228@dickens.com> jd@dickens.com (Joe Dudar) writes:
>In article <1992Aug11.155024@axion.bt.co.uk> pcellik@axion.bt.co.uk (Peter SPHINX Cellik) writes:
>>
>>In article <4687@balrog.ctron.com>, tavares@danville (Jack Tavares) writes:
>>|> echyatt@eos.ncsu.edu (EDWARD CRAIG HYATT) writes:
>>|> : In article <1992Jul30.091712@axion.bt.co.uk> pcellik@axion.bt.co.uk (Peter SPHINX Cellik) writes:
>>|> : >
>>|> : >In article <1992Jul29.175742.8642@cbnewsl.cb.att.com>, saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal) writes:
>>|> : >|> In article <1992Jul23.191425.618@ncsu.edu> echyatt@eos.ncsu.edu (EDWARD
>>|> : >|> CRAIG HYATT) writes:
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> >In article <y!gm=2b@lynx.unm.edu> evilted@vesta.unm.edu (Evilted) writes:
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> >>In article <1992Jul19.185325.17058@ncsu.edu> echyatt@eos.ncsu.edu
>>|> : >|> >>(EDWARD CRAIG HYATT) writes:
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> >>>In article <oa65NB3w165w@major.panix.com> dos@major.panix.com (Dave
>>|> : >|> >>>O'Shea) writes:
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> >>>>> Did Mike get his 50 cents back from the vending company?
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> >>>>Hey, we don't know that he never got his soda...
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> >>>I'm sure that either way, he was crushed.
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> >>But was it orange or grape?
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> >Don't know, but by the time he got to
>>|> : >|> >drink it, it had gone flat.
>>|> : >|> 
>>|> : >|> And when he got back to his cubicle, his boss canned him.
>>|> : >|> -- 
>>|> : >
>>|> : >I think it was a Diet drink, he was looking pretty thin.
>>|> : >
>>|> : No. No. No.  He was canned because he was
>>|> : spreading himself too thin.  And it wasn't
>>|> : a diet drink, it was a crash diet.
>>|> : -- 
>>|> : --------------------
>>|> : Craig Hyatt
>>|> : NCSU@Raleigh, NC USA
>>|> : echyatt@eos.ncsu.edu
>>|> : --------------------
>>|> 
>>|> Oh, i thought it was an orange crush!
>>|> 
>>Yea, it was a diet orange crush, but it was flat, real flat.
>>
>I guess I'm IMPRESSED that this thread has continued for sooooo long.
>-- 

Gee . . . I started all this with a little anecdote about getting ripped off by
food vending machines . . . I guess I'm IMPRESSED too!  :-)

So, where's the credit?



********************************************                             
* Randy Wong                               * "A lot of time has been wasted   
*                                          *  arguing which came first ...
* rbw%fico.uucp@apple.com                  *  the chicken or the egg ...  
* !uunet!(apple,well)!fico!rbw             *                           
* c/o Fair, Isaac and Company              *  It was obviously the rooster!"
* 120 North Redwood Drive                  *                             
* San Rafael, CA  94903-1996               *        -- /usr/games/fortune -o
********************************************
From: RROXBY@MAINE.MAINE.EDU (Robert Roxby)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Band Names
Date: 17 Aug 92 22:12:19 GMT
Organization: University of Maine System

Dow Jones and the Industrials.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mwasserm@diana.cair.du.edu (MARC Y. WASSERMAN)
Subject: Re: NAMES - FUNNY
Organization: University of Denver, Denver, Colorado
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 92 19:58:45 GMT

>In article <46009@shamash.cdc.com> ria@dash.udev.cdc.com (Richard Askew) writes:
>>Well! In in Bedfordshire (UK) there was/is the Rigid Tool Company
>>whose car stickers read "Some day you'll wish you had a Rigid Tool"
>>--
>>Richard 
>

Funnies one I have ever seen was an ad for Hooover Vaccuum cleaners
in the Arizona Daily Sun.   The ad showed the vacuum witht he line
"You can be sure that Hoover Vacuums really suck."

Marc Wasserman

-- 
"So you're choosing to run from your own people in a rackety old TARDIS?"
		     D  O  C  T  O  R     W  H  O
				30 Years
"Why not?  After all, that's how it all started!"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: monty@kilcom1.ucis.dal.ca
Subject: RTFM
Keywords: Read the F....... Manual
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 14:14:15 GMT

I read a posting a while ago that had various levels of computer user
rated by their understanding of RTFM (Read The F'ing Manual).  I did no save 
it.  I would appreciate it if some wise person in net land would e-mail it 
to me.  my address is monty@sbabdi.sba.dal.ca

Ob. Joke

668 the neighbour of the beast
From: jorge@tfs.com (I shall return)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Need jokes for a 40th birthday party
Date: 12 Aug 92 21:59:00 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: TRW Financial Systems

Here is one for the 40 year old celebrant:

	Sex at 40 is like the weather.  Fair with a slight chance of
					participation.
From: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM (Fil Feit)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: nursery rhymes
Date: 20 Aug 92 16:51:49 GMT
Reply-To: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems

In article 23303@dxcern.cern.ch, ashok@regulus.Inria.Fr (Ashok Kumar) writes:
>
>Mary had a little sheep
>With the sheep she went to sleep
>The sheep turned out to be a ram
>Mary had a little lamb.


Mary went down to the pond,
Upon the ice to frisk.
Wasn't she a little fool,
Her little *

-f2
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Woody and Mia
From: rivero@mdcbbs.com
Date: 20 Aug 92 16:42:06 GMT
Organization: Electronic Data Systems, Unigraphics Division, Cypress CA
Nntp-Posting-User: rivero

In article <Bt9E6B.IL4@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, mcwg9235@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Marsha Cook Woodbury) writes:
> I am waiting.  The subject is ripe with possibilities.
> Where are the jokes?
> -- 

  Now we know how he got the name "Woody"!

  Is it true Woody Allen is dating Rosemary's Baby? 



<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
|  Michael Rivero rivero@mdcbbs.com  Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Animator   |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: anton@gagme.chi.il.us (Andrzej Borowiec)
Subject: Re: POLACK JOKES
Originator: anton@gagme
Keywords: degenerate, slimeball, grandparents, sex, duct tape 
Organization: Gagme Public Access UNIX, Chicago, Illinois.
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 18:40:50 GMT

In article <1992Aug18.164544.3597@island.COM> fester@island.COM (Mike Fester) writes:
>In article <1992Aug16.071713.22894@gagme.chi.il.us> anton@gagme.chi.il.us (Andrzej Borowiec) writes:
>
>Look guy, this is rec.humor. You don't like it, unsubscribe.
>

Same goes to you.

(deleted)

>>
>>Andrzej A. Borowiec
>
>Can I buy a vowel?
>

I don't think so.

>>p.s. I'm really getting tired of you buttheads not x-posting
>>Polish jokes to soc.culture.polish
>
>Why? do you need to read them twice before you understand them?
>

Huh? Wait... Let me plug in my brain prosthesis module...
OK... yes... oh! I get it!

>Mike
>-- 
>Disclaimer - These opiini^H^H damn! ^H^H ^Q ^[ .... :w  :q  :wq  :wq! ^d  X ^?
>exit X Q  ^C ^? :quitbye  CtrlAltDel   ~~q  :~q  logout  save/quit :!QUIT
>^[zz ^[ZZZZZZ ^H  man vi ^@  ^L  ^[c  ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help  helpquit ^D  ^d 
>man help ^C ^c help exit ?Quit ?q CtrlShftDel "Hey, what does this button d..."

Andrzej Polack Borowiec

ps. Mike, my point is - if you can't tell an ethnic joke to the particular group
of which it makes fun - keep it to yourself. 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: carder@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Darrell Carder)
Subject: Re: nursery rhymes
Organization: Motorola Inc., Austin Tx.
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 15:36:34 GMT

In article <9ZkTPB2w165w@ersys.edmonton.ab.ca> rich@ersys.edmonton.ab.ca (Richard Hempsey) writes:
>ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller) writes:
>
>- In a previous article, ashok@regulus.Inria.Fr (Ashok Kumar) says:
>- 
>- >Mary had a little sheep
>- >With the sheep she went to sleep
>- >The sheep turned out to be a ram
>- >Mary had a little lamb.
>- 
>- Mary had a little lamb
>- It fattened as it grew
>- And when it died sweet Mary cried
>- And dined on Mutton stew...
>- 
>- Mary had a little lamb
>- Its stash was white as snow
>- And everywhere that Mary went
>- They both enjoued the blow...
>- (George Carlin)
>- 
>- Baa, Baa black sheep, have you any wool?
>- Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
>- One for my master, ande one for my dame,
>- And one for the government (taxes are a pain!!)
>- 
>- Little Baby Bunting,
>- Daddy's gone a-hunting
>- The game warden has took him in
>- The season still had not begin
>
>Mary had a little lamb,
>With her it used to sleep.
>The lamb turned out to be a ram
>And Mary had a sheep.
>
>
>Old Mother Hubbard
>Went to the cupboard
>to fetch poor rover a bone.
>
>When she bent over,
>Rover drover her,
>'Cuz Rover had a bone of his own.

Mary had a little lamb,
Her daddy shot it dead.
Now she takes it to school with here,
Between two slices of bread.

-------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
 In heaven there is no BEER, that's why we drink
 it here. And when we're gone from here, our
 friends will be drinking all our beer.
--------------------------------------------------
Darrell Carder, Motorola DSP
--------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rsadve@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Adve)
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Organization: Syracuse University, Syracuse, NY
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 10:56:11 EDT

>>
>>We get to name our machines at work here, and I am 
>>in desperate need of a new machine name in a hurry!  
>>Can you help me?  
>>
>>I've come up with itchy, scratchy, krusty (all from 
>>the Simpsons in case u were wondering), elvis, 
>>thefarside, oohbaby, whoababy, woobaby (stolen from 
>>the net), ohbaby, themall, thelake, thebeach, and 
>>thegap, but none of these is all that great, or 
>>appropriate for work....please please help me, it 
>>just needs to be somewhat clean, you know, suitable 
>>for the workplace.
>>
>
>toaster, blender, canopener, eggbeater, macintosh
>
How about computer.

--
Raviraj S. Adve
Dept. of Electrical Engg. 318 Link Hall.        Ph: 443-4450.
From: st1ns@rosie.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: coming and going
Date: 12 Aug 92 23:17:00 GMT
Organization: University of Houston
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <183022@pyramid.pyramid.com>, craigs@pyrtech.pyramid.com (Craig Shipley) writes...
>In article <1992Aug10.183628.17574@emr1.emr.ca> kasvand@ccrs.emr.ca (Tony Kasvand) writes:
>>In article <380@sbmsg1.UUCP> acw@sbmsg1.UUCP (Alvin White) writes:
>>>>: > > Make like a shepard and get the flock out of here.
>>>>: >Make like a newborn and head out.
>>>>: Make like a breach baby and butt out!
>>>>Do like a tree and leave
>>>>Make like a bottom and split
>>>>Do like Jesus and leave us
>>>                                                                    
>>> 
>>>Make like horse shit and hit the trail.
>>Make like diarrea and run.
>Make like a hockey player and get the puck outta here.
>Make like a bakery truck and haul buns.
> 

Variation on the theme:
  She was so fat that if somebody told her to haul ass, she'd have to make three trips.

(Still no sig, yet.)
   }}}An equal opprtunity offender.  Replace the pronouns of your choice in the above to
   form any suitable politically incorrect statement without fear of retaliation by me!{{{   
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: matt@unidata.ucar.edu (Matt Hicks)
Subject: Re: Canine Pleasure
Organization: Scientific Computing Division/NCAR Boulder, CO
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 05:37:17 GMT

Dave J <djensen@claven.idbsu.edu> writes:

>Q-Why does a dog lick his balls?

>A1-Because he can. 
>A2-Because he can't make a fist.


>I'd heard A1 long ago, but A2 is new to me. Any others lurking about?

Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking its
balls. One guy turns to the other and says, "Gee, I wish I could do that."
The other guy replies, "Well, I dunno... I think you're gonna have to pet
him first."
--
_________________________________________________  /\_/\  _________________
Matthew  B.  Hicks     | Unidata Program Center | ((ovo))  The spotted owl:
matt@unidata.ucar.edu  | UCAR, PO Box 3000      | ():::()  the other "other
303/497-8676	       | Boulder, CO 80307-3000 |   VVV    white meat."   
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton,talk.politics.guns
From: ski@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Andrew John Urbanski)
Subject: Re: Gun control (was Re: democratic platform)
Summary: I'm a fraid knot! 
Keywords: joke, very funny, haha, etc. 
Organization: The Collective Unconscientiousness
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 16:26:10 GMT

Guns don't kill people, bullets do.  People with gun just do it
more efficiently!  :-)

+-----------------------------------/\-----------------------------+
| ski@.csd4.csd.uwm.edu            /()\                            |
| Urbanski, Andrew John           /    \         Illuminated       |
| Seeker of True Wisdom          /      \                          |
+-----------------------------------><-----------------------------+
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: goss@micor.ocunix.on.ca (Timothy D. Goss)
Subject: Re: The boy stood on the burning deck...
Organization: M.B. Cormier INC., Orleans (Ont)
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 06:47:56 GMT

blew off both his KNACKERS (sp?)

defn : stupid word for balls 

Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish
From: podgorny@npac.syr.edu (Marek Podgorny)
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Organization: Northeast Parallel Architectures Center at Syracuse University (NPAC)
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 92 21:51:16 EDT

In article <1992Aug18.183738.17605@tin.monsanto.com> bcschu@skws02.monsanto.com (Brett Schultz) writes:
>It was just a joke.  I really don't think that Polish have any less brain power
>than anyone else.
>
>Brett
>
>


How nice, Brett! I really hate to be in debt, so I declare herewith that
I really don't think an average anglosaxon women has more likelihood
to a horse that anyone else.

Marek

PS: Why do the Scottish bury their dead family members on the frontyard
with their asses up? Well, they can save on the bike standers, ha, ha.
From: che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Bar Trek, other TV shows
Date: 17 Aug 92 14:58:07 +1000
Organization: Computer Centre, Monash University, Australia

By now most of you will have read the BarTrek rules.
There should be sets of rules for other programs (eg Dr Who, soapies,
Ba-Ba Walters, political speeches, etc.)
Alyone who would like to contribute to a set of Dr Who rules (eg Female
companion screams   :   1) mail your suggestiona to:

      che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au
or       brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au


David B.
From: bower@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Tyson Bower)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: The Tent Joke
Date: 20 Aug 92 03:39:56 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: The Land of UD

That's a really cute story.  I wish I got the punchline.

Could someone tell me what play on words is being made there, and to
what famous book/play/movie/performance/??? he is referring to?

The Winter of Our Discount Tent?  (confusedly shaking head...)

      ....hmmm 
    8-|
From: bchurch@oucsace.cs.ohiou.edu (Robert Church)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Oxymorons revisited...
Date: 14 Aug 92 22:11:58 GMT
Organization: Ohio University School of Art. Athens

In article <1992Aug13.191743.19600@infonode.ingr.com> wilsonk@infonode.ingr.com (Keith Wilson) writes:
>Taxi Cab Drivers
>Prison Reform
>Government Subsidies
>Foriegn Imports
>Strip Mining
>System Manager

Bosnian Cease-Fire


-- 
*********************************************
*    bob church                             *
*    bchurch@oucsace.cs.ohiou.edu           *
*    D-8195 NFS #27                         *
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From:  (Kelly James Clark)
Subject: depressed at 50
Organization: Calvin College
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 17:41:55 GMT

Mistake on my colleague's address. Send birthday or rabbit jokes to Ken at

konyk@calvin.edu.

Thanks



Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton,talk.politics.guns
From: reid@metis.tti.com (Reid Kneeland)
Subject: Re: Gun control (was Re: democratic platform)
Keywords: joke, very funny, haha, etc.
Organization: Transaction Technology Inc.
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 18:26:19 GMT

>>Guns don't kill people, bullets do.  People with gun just do it
>>more efficiently!  :-)
>
>Guns can't kill people, bullets can't kill people, but _I_ can use
>THEM to kill people; I don't though because I prefer hatpins.

"It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole." - Laurie Anderson

=====================================================================
Reid Kneeland
reid@ttidca.tti.com  (that's MISTER reid@ttidca.tti.com to you!)
{philabs,psivax,pyramid,quad1,rdlvax,retix,rutgers}!ttidca!reid
Transaction Technology Inc., Santa Monica, CA, USA (310) 450-9111 x2499
The opinions expressed above do not necessarily etc etc...

Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers.
From: mehdizadeh@asl.slb.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: american indian joke
Date: 18 Aug 92 17:53:58 GMT
Reply-To: mehdizadeh@asl.slb.com
Organization: Schlumberger/Anadrill Sugar Land, TX

Three squaws were pregnant and all were ready to deliver.  Three animal hides
were placed on floor of the wigwam for the occasion: a buffalo hide, a bear
hide, and a hippopotamus hide. 

The squaw on the buffalo hide gave birth to a baby boy papoose.

The squaw on the bear hide gave birth to a baby girl papoose.

The squaw on the hippopotamus hide gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl
papoose.

What this simply shows is that the squaw of the hippopotamus hide is equal to
the sum of the squaws of the other two hides. 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kwfriber@mtu.edu (Kenberg Frieth)
Subject: Re: Engineering jokes needed!
Organization: Michigan Technological University
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 13:18:55 GMT

In article <frank2.23@underdog.ee.wits.ac.za> frank2@underdog.ee.wits.ac.za (FRANK D N) writes:
>I desperately need a repetoire of jokes about engineers/engineering.
>
>So far all I've got is:
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
>An engineering student was walking across campus when she came across an 
>arts student.
>"Hey," said the arts student, "like what's that you're carrying in that 
>bag under your arm there?"
>"Drawing boards," replied the engineering student, "and if you guess how 
>many I've got, you can have them both!"
>"THREE!" answered the arts student.
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>As you can see, I am in *desperate* need, not only because of the humour 
>level of this joke but also because it's so unrealistic - who ever heard of 
>an engineering student speaking cordially with an arts student?
                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

But all engineers beleive in being kind to idiots...at least to their faces.
(What we say about them behind their backs may be a different matter
entirely).

Ken Friberg
From: whitem@jester.usask.ca (Matt White)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Date: 12 Aug 92 17:16:59 GMT
Organization: University of Saskatchewan
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

lisa writes:
: 
: We get to name our machines at work here, and I am 
: in desperate need of a new machine name in a hurry!  
: Can you help me?  
: 
Our manager here went on vacation for a month, and during that time, his
computer go an ethernet card and was put on the network.  We set it up for
him and called it OOPS.  Now we're going to install mail software on it so
we can mail him at bill@oops.usask.ca.  When the computer's booted it says:

NETWORK STARTING FOR......OOPS

: 
: ~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^
:  lkoh@cdc017.austin.ibm.com  /  I do not speak for my employer.
: 
: ~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^

--
Matt White                      |  whitem@jester.usask.ca
User Support & Training         |  white@sask.usask.ca
Dept. of Computing Services     |  Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, CANADA
University of Saskatchewan      |  My other terminal is an Amiga...
Xref: sparky rec.humor:26567 soc.culture.polish:2020
From: ahummel@ems.cdc.com (H. Austin Hummel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Date: 20 Aug 92 12:08:46 GMT
Reply-To: you@ems.cdc.com
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Empros Systems International, a division of CDC

In article <1992Aug18.183738.17605@tin.monsanto.com>, bcschu@skws02.monsanto.com (Brett Schultz) writes:
|> It was just a joke.  I really don't think that Polish have any less brain power
|> than anyone else.
|> 

Since most cultural centered jokes tend to be based upon the local area,
one finds white jokes in Hawaii, Mexican jokes in South-West, Polish
jokes in east, and unfortunately black jokes all over. 

We should take a stand and change all ethnic jokes to blondes :-)
From: ben@bailey.UUCP (Ben Bailey)
Subject: Re: Bathroom humor
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: 16 Aug 92 23:36:15 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Ben Bailey's Home..Tampa Fl.

Along the same thread:

Here I sit in all my vapor
Took a shit,
What! No Paper?
Late to work and must not linkger;
Lookout ass, here comes my finger!

--
Ben Bailey                 ben@bailey.uucp -- bailey!ben@uunet.uu.net
12210 Shady Forest Dr.     ben@bailey.tscs.com
Riverview, Fl. 33569       -- The main thing is to keep the main
813-677-5021                  thing the main thing.  Mainly.
From: tjgerman@53iss6.Waterloo.NCR.COM (Trevor German)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: FUNNY SIGNS.
Date: 14 Aug 92 15:26:56 GMT
Organization: Imaging Systems Division, NCR Corp, Waterloo, Ont., CANADA


	This sign permenantly sits outside a bible chappel
south of Winnipeg, Canada.

              -----------------------------------
	      !	JESUS HEALS, SAVES AND DELIVERS !
              !                                 !
	      !	THURDAYS FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS. !
              -----------------------------------

........................hi Murphy.
From: VSLARRY@WEIZMANN.WEIZMANN.AC.IL (Larry Israel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY BANNER
Date: 16 Aug 92 05:59:13 GMT
Organization: Mail to News Gateway at Wang Labs

An active sex life after fifty is a grandchild every year.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hosehead@bluemoon.rn.com (Bill Moser,Jr.)
Subject: HELP - ADVERTISING JOKES NEEDED
Organization: Blue Moon BBS ((614) 868-998[024])
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 92 12:36:43 EDT


I need some advertising jokes for a speech I've been drafted to give.
I'm particularly interested in direct mail jokes.

thanks

 This is from
     hosehead@bluemoon.rn.com
who doesn't have his (or her) own obnoxious signature yet
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal)
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Organization: liver ---> spleen
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 14:45:55 GMT

In article <80@byu.edu> earlyd@ee.byu.edu (David Early) writes:

>There is also a net in our building that uses the names of Star Trek characters from
>both the new and old versions: Worf, Picard, Troi, Kirk.  Spock is the server.

So THAT'S why Spock needs srervice only every 7 years.
-- 
Sam Saal      kingfish!saal OR saal@kingfish.att.com
		Note new machine name
	Vayiftach HaShem et Peah Ha`Aton
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jalapeno@leland.Stanford.EDU (J. Bradley Materick)
Subject: Deep Thoughts Pleeze
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 92 21:49:20 GMT

Hello, could someone also send me the list of _Deep Thoughts_ by Jack
Handy or tell me where to ftp them from.

Thaanx, Brad Materick (jalapeno@leland.stanford.edu)

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J. Bradley Materick           '''''''''''''''''''''''''''':  '':  '':      ''''
jalapeno@leland.stanford.edu  ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::|  ::|  :::::::|  :::
PO Box 14707                  ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]  ||]  ||]  _____|||
Stanford, CA 94309            ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]O  ]]O  ]]O  ]]]]]]]]