From: jjj@mits.mdata.fi (Joni Jarvenkyla)
Subject: This guy really makes me sick
Organization: Microdata Oy, Helsinki, Finland
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 19:02:47 GMT


This guy really deserves flames in all sizes, shapes and colors. He
probably thinks he's very funny posting this goddamn crap all over the
world and even encourages others to do the same.

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>From jchapman@deeptht.armory.com Sat Dec 12 15:18:23 1992
From: Jeffrey Chapman <jchapman@deeptht.armory.com>
To: alias@deeptht.armory.com, astroid@deeptht.armory.com, atomx@ucscb.ucsc.EDU,
        caity@deeptht.armory.com, chaos@deeptht.armory.com,
        horny@deeptht.armory.com, iruiz@uk.ac.strath.cs, jah, jjj,
        jlerner@oxy.edu, maxwell@deep-13.gizmo.com, penguin@deeptht.armory.com,
        qually@utopia.hacktic.nl, tomh@cyb.UCSC.EDU,
        rstevew@deeptht.armory.com, slacker@deeptht.armory.com,
        snozer@deeptht.armory.com, spirit@deeptht.armory.com
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 23:18:23 PST
Message-Id:  <9212122318.aa19628@deeptht.armory.com>
Status: RO

    WITH SEX ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

        This paper has been sent to you for good luck.  The original has been
        worn out from having passed through the hands of so many people.  It
        had travelled around the world 69 times [Dear Reader: please help
        keep
:
        this count current.  If this letter falls into your hands afterjust
        completing one more circuit of the world, please add one to the
        count.]
        The luck has now been sent to you.  You will experience great sex
        within four days of receiving this letter, provided you send iton!
        Since the copy must tour the world, you must make twenty copiesand
        send them to others.  This is no joke.  Send no money.  Send copies
        to people who need to get laid within 96 hours.
        After he passed this letter on, a Montana Spinach Control Officer got
        his penis stuck in a cow-milking machine and had the longest series
        of ograsms of his life.  John Elliot tried to pick up a prositute,
        but, because he broke the chain, was picked up by the police instead.
:        When they searched his home, they found magazines of little boyswhich
        they showed to his neighbours.  In a suburb of Paris, Don Loray's
        trousers were ripped by an unsatisfied erection, 51 days afterfailing
        to circulate the letter.  However, before this happened, a condom
        machine gave him three condoms for the price of one.  (was this the
        consolation prize?)

        Do note the following:  Hebert Pudstrom received the chain in 1953.
        He asked his secretary to make twenty copies and send them out. A
        few days later he encountered her in a red-light district making
        more than he had every paid her at work.  General George Patton,
        who sent the letter on, saw what he thought was a quarter in the
        street.  When he bent down to pick it up, a beautiful woman in a
        miniskirt walked by, and he got a great view.  His aide, Colonel
        Roger Bumswiver, who did not pass on the letter, tried to pick up
        a similar object but was fucked up the ass by a desperate gay when
        he bent over.  Heywood Daddit, an unemployed chicken choker, received
        the letter and forgot that it had to leave his hands within 96 hours.
        His wife then went bowling with his best friend and never returned.
        Later, after finding the letter again, he mailed twenty copies. A
        few days later he got a wife and discovered that his old wife, who
        he thought was wonderful, had made love to him like a dead salmon
        for all these years!  Alan Fairchild received the letter and, not
        believing, threw the letter away.  Nine days later he spilled hot
        coffee in his crotch.

        In 1987 the letter received by a young woman in Texas was faded
       and barely readable, so she did not realize that this paragraph applied
        to her.  She promised herself she would retype the letter and send
        it on, but she put it aside to do later.  She was plagued with
        problems including herpes and other venereal diseases she contracted
        in her futile attempts to find Mr. Right in a singles bar.  The letter
        did not leave her hands in 96 hours.  She finally typed the letter
        and found a man with a 10-inch penis.

           You must distribute at least twenty copies within 96 hours of
        receiving this letter.  Those who do will find their love lives more
        fulfilling.  Those who do not will be doomed to one-night stands with
        mechanical devices.

        Enjoy...

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