HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: robertac@uhunix.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu (Roberta Currier)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Sexual Tension Quiz
Date: 29 Sep 92 02:28:26 GMT
Organization: University of Hawaii at Manoa

Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try
to determine what the object or thing is that is being
described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2
points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points.

If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more
sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in
need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are
classed as having a great sex experience. Now please begin.

"CLUES"

1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
   When I'm not well, I drip.
   When you blow me, you feel good.

2. I'm spread before I'm eaten.
   Your tongue gets me off.
   People sometimes lick my nuts.

3. I assist an erection.
   Sometimes big balls hang from me.
   I'm called a big swinger.

4. Over 1,000 people went down on me.
   I wasn't maiden for long.
   A big hard thing ripped me open.

5. You stick your poles inside me.
   You tie me down to get me up.
   I get wet before you do.

6. When I go in I cause pain.
   I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow.
   I can fill your hole.

7. A finger goes in me.
   You fiddle with me when you're bored.
   The best man always has me first.

8. All day long, it's in and out.
   I discharge loads from my shaft.
   Both men and women go down on me.

9. I go in hard.
   I come out soft.
   You blow me hard.

10. If I miss, I hit your bush.
    It's my job to stuff your box.
    When I come, it's news.

11. I offer Protection.
    I get the finger ten times.
    You use your fingers to get me off.

12. I have a stiff shaft.
    My tip penetrates.
    I come with a quiver.

13. My business is briefs.
    I am a cunning linguist.
    I plead and plead for it.

14. I make some guys shoot in the air.
    I usually have a little pecker.
    I'm better in your hand than in your bush.


(answers below)
























Answers:

1. nose 2. peanut butter 3. crane 4. Titanic 5. tent
6. dentist 7. wedding ring 8. elevator 9. chewing gum
10. newspaper boy 11. glove 12. arrow 13. attorney
Xref: sparky rec.humor:30568 aus.jokes:1508 alt.folklore.computers:14849 aus.computers:320
From: monalisa@wam.umd.edu (Joe Leger)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Date: 7 Oct 92 03:23:35 GMT
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park


As a matter of fact, I find this drivel quite amusing.  My brother who is
a Comp/EE major also finds this funny, as he does't muh care for Mac's or
anything that is basically mouse driven.  Real men _type_ in commands they
want to use.........


-Joe
From: cobe101@emory.edu (Christopher C. Chung)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: American Jokes
Date: 27 Sep 92 20:21:21 GMT
Organization: Emory University, Atlanta, GA
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3


Isn't the subject redundant?

:)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jwk@sequent.com (John "Just Say Noe" Kramer)
Subject: Re: The *best* we can do for Election '92
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems Inc.
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 17:07:08 GMT

In article <deuelpm.717868192@craft.camp.clarkson.edu> deuelpm@craft.camp.clarkson.edu (Hobbit) writes:
>I heard on the radio this morning that there was a congressional election
>in Arizona which ended up in a tie vote.  Apparently, in Arizona, it is
>allowed to settle the tie with a game of chance.  The opponents (in "Old
>West" fashon, the newsreader said) played 5-card stud.
>
>The Republican won with a pair of 7's.
>
>
>
>Points to ponder:
>
>o With what we've got to choose from this year, I think a big poker game
>would be appropriate. . .  
>
>o Clinton might opt for strip poker, though, so the media will reject this
>idea.
>
>o Since the Republicans (or at least, Bush) is on a big family values kick,
>should we now legalize gambling???
>
>
>What do you think?  Post other "points."  I'm curious to see what sarcastic
>comments can come from this. . .
>

o Ross Perot won't take part because he won't use the same deck of cards
  as the other two and anyway, he says the media would be against him.

o Clinton wants to play stud poker, Bush says "That's a lie!"

o Ross Perot joins in the game after all

o Ronald Reagan, four years late, remembers he wants to play but hasn't
  grasped the rules.

o Latest: Ross Perot just folded his hand

o Dan Qualye wants to play but only knows how to play Pokere, and anyway,
  if he got more than a four card run he'd lose count.

o Bush says "Read my lips". Shame, now everyone nows his cards, and there
  isn't a trump card anywhere in his hand. Bush folds.

o Even Later: Ross Perot picks up his hand again. Shame the games has ended
  and nobody cares Ross!

The games over and America has lost once again!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: srd33435@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Of the hood.)
Subject: Re: Sorority Jokes by request
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 20:34:05 GMT

cobe101@emory.edu (Christopher C. Chung) writes:


>DELTA DELTA DELTA 

>Tridelt ...... everyone else has.

Need a date?  Tri-Delta...
From: vander@flab.fujitsu.co.jp (Mike van der Velden)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Life  3.I
Date: 3 Oct 92 09:29:14 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu Laboratories Ltd., Kawasaki, Japan


 In article <"30-Sep-92.21:16:02.PDT".*.Henry_Cate_III.OSBU_North@Xerox.com> Cate3.osbu_north@xerox.com writes:

>     Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson
>Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate.
>Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and
>great effort pushing boulders into a single word.
>     It can be seen from 10,000 feet, silhouetted against the snow.
>Government officials exchanged memos full of circumlocutions (no Latin
>equivalent exists) but failed to word an appropriation bill for the
>destruction of this cairn, that wouldn't alert the press and embarrass
>both Parliament and Party.
>     It stands today, a monument to human spirit.  If life exists on other
>planets, this may be the first message received from us.
>		-- The Realist, November, 1964.


So, what was this word?
 
--
Mike van der Velden
Distributed Systems Laboratory, Fujitsu Laboratories Ltd., Kawasaki, Japan
e-mail: vander@flab.fujitsu.co.jp

ps. If you send me a picture postcard      Mike van der Velden
    from your area to the address at       Fujitsu Unoki Dormitory, room 227
    right, I'll send you one from Tokyo.   2-17-18 Unoki, Ota-ku, Tokyo 146
    Postcards must be received by          Japan
    November 15, 1992
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cotera@woods.ulowell.edu
Subject: Wanted: Rupture Jokes
Organization: University of Lowell
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 14:18:46 GMT

Anyone hear any rupture jokes?

E.g. When you're swimming in a swamp
     And a turtle takes a chomp
     That's a rupture
--Ray Cote
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: Military putdown (Re: Military humor)
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 17:51:50 GMT

In article <1170007@hpgrla.gr.hp.com> sandyr@hpgrla.gr.hp.com (Sandy Reutter) writes:

>And who in the Navy ever stood a "Mail Buoy Watch"?  Or went
>after Relative Bearing Grease?

Did you ever notice that when someone comments they'd "served their time",
you have to ask if it was in the military or in prison?


-- 

Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"...I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down, then I
From: ychen@sp1.csrd.uiuc.edu (Yung-Chin Chen)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.joke
Subject: Re: Find the Bug
Date: 2 Oct 92 18:14:29 GMT
Article-I.D.: sp1.YCHEN.92Oct2111429
Organization: /homes/ychen/.organization

In article <1992Oct1.164635.19852@inesc.pt> usenet@inesc.pt (USENET News System) writes:

	   The following deduction has a bug. C if u can figure where...

	   Three guys rent a three-bed room in a hotel, each one paying $10.
	   Late that night, the hotel manager finds ou he made a mistake:
	   The price of the room was not $30 but $25, so he called an
	   employee and told him to give the $5 back to the clients.
	   And so it went. But the employee started thinking: How am I going to
	   split the money between the 3 guys ? I better keep $2, and so give
	   $1 to each of them,
	   Conclusion:
		   Each client payed $9 ($10 - $1), and 3x9 = 27 plus the 
	   $2 the employee kept, that makes $29...

	   Where is the missing $ ???

In fact, each client payed $9 ($27 in tatal): $25 went to hotel and $2
went to the employee. Am I right?

ychen
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Just *whom* should we elect?
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Date: Tue, 06 Oct 92 17:09:36 PDT
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

rivero@mdcbbs.com writes:
> > Anyone who can get a nude centerfold to agree to being taped to a reactor 
> > containment vessel, and then get on and have a good time, is certainly 
> > more persuasive, inventive and daring than the candidates we have now!
> > Of course, you failed to mention the gender of the centerfold in question
> > and what activities in particular were in progress, but with Barbarella
> > as a resume credit, I presume I can take a guess.  
> 

Hey, if the Eyetailyams can elect a gorgeous porno star, why can't we?
I nominate Amber!

--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: krol@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Ed Krol)
Subject: Re: wanted: catholic jok
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 20:26:36 GMT

A nun goes into a liquor store and wants a fifth of wiskey.
The store owner says, "I don't know if I should sell this to 
you, I didn't think you were supposed to drink". 

The nun says, "Its for medicinal purposes only, my mother
superior uses it for a laxitive".  So he gives it to her
and she leaves.

Later the guy closes the store and is walking home he stumbles
over the nun drunk in the gutter.   He says, "I thought this
was a laxitive for your mother superior".

She says, "It is when she sees me she's sure gonna shit".
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect)
Subject: Re: Dark is Faster than Light
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 20:45:27 GMT

>   WOWWW! I thought the tungsten just broke after so much heat stress...
>This is facinating. Is there a way I can empty the Darktrons out of my
>light bulbs to they never blow. But then I'll bet I'd need a black hole
>to pour them into. Maybe I'll just empty them next to my washer & dryer
>there must be a black hole somewhere in that area.
>
>   So that would mean the sun is actually a big darktron absorber... This is
>too deep...
>
>
>   WOW

Just as a public service anouncement.
          Portable Black Holes are available from
          Bud's Scientific supply & surplus
          1313 Toxic Street
          Slag-Heap, NJ 12345

          They also have reconditioned reactors, rebuilt particle
          accelerators, slightly used Plutonium and Uranium pellets
          ICBM parts, Do it Yourself Chem-War kits, Boilogy kits
          including the most popluar "Neighborhood Plague Kit 101".

          They also do custom orders and have great combo deals.

-ara

Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
From: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Subject: Re: dead president sketch
Originator: kchestn@c00485-224wi.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 13:31:28 GMT


> Excellent header but a bit much for these few words


|> 			The Dead President Sketch
|> 				 is by:
|> 			     Monty Python
|> 	    except for the nasty bits which were written by:
|>              Elizabeth Barrett Revulsion and Whiplash Smile
|> 		
|>               (Ms. Revulsion is actually fond of liberals.
|> 		          Whiplash Smile is not.)		 
|> 
BRAVO- crowd sceen; clap clap clap clap.
From: bjhille@iastate.edu (Brian J Hille)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Mother Jokes (Your Momma is so...)
Date: 30 Sep 92 04:55:33 GMT
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA

Your mom's so fat, her yearbook picture was an aerial photo.

Your mom's so fat, I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

Your mom's so fat, I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.

They say that beauty is only a light switch away, with your mom I had to use a
black light.


Hope you liked them.
			Brian
From: deepak@konark.njit.edu (D'EE'pak Kakadasam)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Movie Dialogues please........
Date: 30 Sep 92 23:03:43 GMT
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.


If someone out there has a list of movie dialogues that were interesting
could you please mail them to me. If I do get a load of them, I will
post the entire collection here.

Example: Movie 'Blues Brothers' Dan Aykroyd & John Belushi.

"Its a 106 mi to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 a pack of
cigarettes, its dark and we 're wearing sun glasses"

"Hit it"
***************************************************************************** 
--
VLSI:=> "Getting High On Low Voltage"       ** 
E15WNJTPXE15x280WXR1TL21NXL4TL17NXR10TL->    **    Those who can, DO
You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish.**    Those who cant, TEACH.
*******************************************************************************
From: burens@4ccvw70.scg.hac.com (Mark Burens)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Lawyer jokes
Date: 1 Oct 92 02:06:36 GMT
Reply-To: burens@hacgate.UUCP (Mark Burens)
Distribution: la
Organization: Hughes Aircraft Co., El Segundo, CA

Just passing these along from an instructor of mine.

     Why do they bury lawyers 50 feet deep?

     Because deep down thier not bad.

**********************************************

    What's the difference between a dead skunk
    in the road and a dead lawyer?

    There's skid marks ins front of the skunk.

**********************************************

Sorry if these are repeats. I enjoyed them.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dagr@edb.tih.no (Dag Rambraut,o92a)
Subject: Re: Hello
Posting-Front-End: Winix Conference v 92.05.15  1.20 (running under MS-Windows)
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 09:58:05 GMT

>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>>>Yeah, to Norway...
>>> HELL NO!
>>WE WON'T GO!
>HELLO, JOE. WHADDYA KNOW?
Well, I don't think so.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: amorgan@csd-d-3.Stanford.EDU (Crunchy Frog)
Subject: Re: Telephone answering machine messages
Originator: amorgan@csd-d-3.Stanford.EDU
Organization: /usr/lib/news/organizatoin
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 19:28:02 GMT

In article <1992Oct4.041618.7021@unlinfo.unl.edu> 
  aberigan@nde.unl.edu (A. Berigan) writes:
>steinl@idt.unit.no (Stein Lang|rgen) writes:
>
>>I'm writing the definative work on pain, and I would like you
>>to tell me how the machine makes you feel.  Remember, be honest.  This
>>is for posterity." <beep>
>
>Sheesh, hasn't someone corrected this one yet?  It comes from the movie
>"The Princess Bride", and a more accurate version is:

Actually it comes from the book "The Princess Bride".

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~aberigan@nde.unl.edu (Greg Berigan)

C "Some people" Frog
From: xdedcj@atom.NoSubdomain.NoDomain (dave c jarzabek)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Yogi Berra lines
Date: 2 Oct 92 12:30:17 GMT
Organization: Oryx Energy, Dallas, Texas.

In article <1992Sep28.030542.54062@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, jkp1@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (Jeffery K. Pierson) writes:
|> Yogi Berra (not Yogi Bear) would always come up with interesting yet almost
|> paradoxical verses unintentionally.  For example he once said:
|> 
|>         NOBODY goes to that restaurant anymore because it is to
|>         crowded.
|> 
|> Does anyone out there have any other Yogi Berisms.  I would love to hear some
|> of the other things that he said.
|> 
|> Thanks
|> 
|> Jeff
|> -- 
|> _______________________________________________________________________________
|> |                              |                        |
|> | Jeffrey Pierson              | Lehigh University      |
|> | jkp1@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu       | 29 Trembly Dr.         |
|> | jkp1@cs1.cc.lehigh.edu       | Box D139               |
|> | jkp1@pl122a.eecs.lehigh.edu  | Bethlehem, PA. 18015   |
|> |______________________________|________________________|


You can't forget the classics:

It ain't over 'till it's over...


It's like Deja Vu all over again...
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: phone answering
Date: 6 Oct 92 12:31:00 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <69820@hydra.gatech.EDU>, gt8834a@prism.gatech.EDU (William Lang) wri
tes:
>I thought I'd seen a list in here a long time ago about different things
>to say when answering the phone; i.e. "Joe's abortion clinic, you rape
>'em, we scrape 'em" or "In and out burger, may I take your order please?"
>
>If anybody has a list, or just a few on their own... please post 'em.

My personal favorites:

Rob's Bakery, which crumb do you want?

Hello, is Kevin there?

This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Startship Enterprise.

Phil's hardware, what nut are you looking for?

You: Hi. I'd like to order a large pepperoni Pizza
Other end: What... but...
You: Oh, I'm sorry. You must have the wrong number. <click>
Makes everyone's day a little more surreal.
    (This one blatantly stolen from Calvin & Hobbes)

Bethlehem Police Department, this is operator 42.

If you have any more please mail them to me.
    -TMA
-- 
+ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - +
|         ///   ///    ///////                   -=FORTY-TWO=-              |
|        ///   ///   /////////           We *ARE* The meaning of life!      |
|       //////////  //   ///                                                |
|      //////////      ///                TMA4@LEHIGH.EDU - Terry           |
|           ///      ///                  SLR7@LEHIGH.EDU - Stephanie       |
|          ///     ////////               MRP2@LEHIGH.EDU - Matt            |
From: okes@essex.ac.uk (Oke S)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Date: 2 Oct 92 15:59:39 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Essex, UK.
In-reply-to: roberts@syacus.acus.oz.au's message of 2 Oct 92 00:37:14 GMT

In article <1992Oct2.003714.19220@syacus.acus.oz.au> roberts@syacus.acus.oz.au (Robert Salier) writes:
| >I thought an Apple was a fruit and a Macintosh was a raincoat?
|
| I thought IBM stood for "I Bought Macintosh"

The in your case it must stand for "I'm bloody mad"

--
This signature is copyright 12/6/1992 Simon Oke. All rights reserved. If you
like it and keep a copy for your own use, you owe me $20. Please pass it on
to your friends with all documentation.              Email okes@essex.ac.uk.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"God I hate floppies" - Karl Brandt.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: campagna@cousins.RICH.nt.com (Mark Campagna)
Subject: Re: drummer joke
Keywords: musician
Organization: Northern Telecom, Inc.
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 17:24:42 GMT

Q:  How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A:  Zero, they now have a synthesizer to do that!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: 11mwarner@gallua.gallaudet.edu
Subject: Re: Yogi quotes
Organization: Gallaudet University
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 07:53:13 GMT



I've got a few of those.  Let me go through my mental file...

Waitress:  "Would you like your pizza cut into six pieces or eight?"
Yogi:      "Better make it six, I don't think I can eat eight."

Phil Garner:  "You just said a Yogi-ism."
Yogi:         "What's a Yogi-ism?"

(In the clubhouse in the '60s)
Player:  "Hey, Yogi.  Wanna go see a dirty movie?"
Yogi:    "Nah, I don't wanna see a dirty movie."
Player:  "Come on!"
Yogi:    "Well, who's playing in it?"
(Note:  This was before porn stars got famous or anything)

Guess that's all I can think of for now.  If I think of more, I'll post them.

						PSYCHO
						11MWARNER@gallua.galludet.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Hello
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Date: Thu, 01 Oct 92 11:56:53 PDT
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
> >>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
> >>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
> >>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
> >>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
> >>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
> >>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
> >>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
> >>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
> >>>>Why not today.
> >>> BTW... :-)
> >>Throw the "C" manual away !
> >I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
> BASIC is here to stay!
12 year olds sure like to play!

--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
From: paco ojeda <ffoogg@macmailgw.dfci.harvard.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Looking For Gay Limerics
Date: 27 Sep 1992 15:59:53 GMT
Organization: Thinking Machines Corporation
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: macdrf_43.dfci.harvard.edu
X-UserAgent: Nuntius v1.1.1d11
X-XXMessage-ID: <A6EB54AEE3014F9B@macdrf_43.dfci.harvard.edu>
X-XXDate: Sun, 27 Sep 92 17:08:14 GMT

Greetings!
Could anybody please share with me, either here or directly to my e-mail
address, any gay limerics you might know?
Funny, witty, rude, kinky, you name it!

Thanks

Paco
ffoogg@macmailgw.dfci.harvard.edu
From: cl129501@ulkyvx.louisville.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: WANTED -- list of DYSLEXIC JOKES
Date: 29 Sep 92 16:27:51 GMT
Article-I.D.: ulkyvx.1992Sep29.122751.1
Organization: University of Louisville

The title says it all  Here's a good start:

* Has anyone heard of the agnostic dyslexic insomniac who stayed awake
  all night wondering if there was a dog?

* Has anyone heard of the suicidal dyslexic who tried to kill himself by
  throwing himself behind a bus?

* Impression of a dyslexic bank robber:
  < action of person pointing gun to himself > Gimme the money or I'll shoot.

If anyone has any more dyslexic jokes or a collection please post it or mail to
me.  Thanks a lot, 

  Darren
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: aphelps@vicstoy.UUCP (Austin Phelps)
Subject: Re: Hello
Organization: vicstoy: Public Access Unix, Orlando, FL
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 16:00:50 GMT

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>>>Why not today.
>>>Go away.
>>Yes, right away.
>OK, OK!!
But I want to stay!


-- 
  Austin Phelps - aphelps@vicstoy.oau.org - austin.phelps@oau.org
           UUCP - {peora,ge-dab,tous,tarpit}!bilver!vicstoy!aphelps
                - vicstoy Public Access Unix, Orlando FL
                - (407)299-3661  1200/2400/9600 V.32  24 hours  8N1