From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Callahans Chronicles
Summary:  more Halloween fun and nonsense
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 00:29:43 GMT

Now that everyone has arrived for the Halloween partying, Danger Mouse
decides to check out some of this allegedly "haunted" house's rooms. He
excuses himself from the food preparations in the kitchen and begins
wandering at random.

Before long, he comes across a door which seems to have passed unnoticed
so far, despite the many adventurous wanderings of previous Callahanian
explorers. Slinging his scythe over his shoulder, DM gingerly reaches for
the doorhandle. The large brass knob resists at first, but slowly relents
and turns under his grip.

"Hmmm," DM peers through the door into the inky blackness beyond, "A torch
might be a good idea." He takes the burning brand from the sconce next to
the door and waves it through the open portal.

"Gosh, hoopy. It's a good thing I'm not afraid of spiders."

Smoothing his robe down, DM steps through the door, being careful not to
touch any of the webs. The path through the room is narrow, with thick
sheets of web defining a tunnel down which he walks slowly. The baleful
flickering of the torch reveals only dim hints of shapes behind the webs,
although logically there must be something there to support them.

After a few minutes of walking, DM looks back and is not surprised to see
that the door has disappeared. He stands in what appears to be an endless
corridor, defined only by the oddly angled shapes of the floor paving and
the grey draperies of the webs.

"Just a second..." DM stops and takes a careful look through the web,
gently parting a small hole for a clearer view. He sees that beyond the
wall of the webs there is no floor, merely a chaotic pattern of silk,
fluttering gently as if in a light breeze, descending as far as the torch
light penetrates. "Why does this remind me of a certain demon queen's
lair?"

Not having much else to do, DM continues walking along the path. His
footsteps click hollowly on the flagstones, but the sound is muffled by
the webs so that there are no traces of echo. The complete lack of
extraneous sound only makes the high-pitched chittering all the more
noticeable when it starts up, ahead and to the left.

"Sounds like some sort of evil chittering," DM mumbles to himself. He
attempts to catch a glimpse of whatever strange entity is creating the
noise by squinting through small gaps in the webs. A brief glint of orange
light reflected from a shiny black carapace betrays the sudden motion of
something large and multi-legged.

DM drops his torch and unslings his scythe just as the spider breaks
through the webs and lands squarely on the path before him. It rears on
its six hindmost legs, waving its forelegs threateningly in the air. Its
palps hinge back and forth in eager expectation of a juicy meal, and its
long fangs drip smoking venom two full metres from their gleaming tips
down to the floor.

"My, aren't you a nasty looking one?" says DM, nonchalantly bringing his
weapon to bear and swinging it in a long arc towards the abomination.

The thing chitters wildly as it attempts to fend off the blade with its
forelegs. It fails miserably and the extremities go flying into the web,
tearing holes in it as they arc across and down into the blackness below.
With a keening wail it lunges at DM, baring its fangs in a grotesque
expression of hatred. DM attempts to recover his weapon from its follow
through, just managing to block the monster's attack by jamming the back
of the scythe blade under its fangs. The tips of the wickedly pointed
teeth come within centimetres of DM's face.

DM pushes hard against the weight of the spider. Instead of throwing it
off, however, he succeeds only in unbalancing his own footing. His left
foot slips on the stones and flies from beneath him. He collapses back on
his crumpled leg and flails a hand out to arrest his fall. It brushes
through a section of web and falls into empty space, rapidly followed by
the rest of the arm.

There is a loud thump as DM's torso slams into the paving, immediately
followed by a grunt as the wind is knocked from his lungs. His arm comes
up quickly to brush aside the web which draped his face as he fell. His
other hand slides up the shaft of the scythe, gaining better control of
the weapon as its blade swivels down under its own weight.

The torch lies burning on the stones beside him, and DM sees the reflected
glint of movement above him. Quickly grabbing the scythe handle with both
hands, he swivels it so that the blade is pointing directly upwards.

The lunging horror descends swiftly but senses, at the last moment, the
postion of the blade and adjusts its attack to avoid it. A chitinous leg
lands beside DM, then another, and another, and another...

DM looks upwards slowly, meeting the gaze of the monster's sixteen eyes,
each with a tiny reflection of the dancing light of the torch playing
deep within its glistening black surface. The ghastly fiend regards DM
carefully with its alien arachnid intelligence. The stumps of its two
forelegs wave forlornly in the air. Its palps stretch outwards and it
bares its fangs once again with an evil hiss.

Not having enough room to wield his scythe effectively, DM desperately
kicks out with a foot. He connects with a nearby leg and the articulated
appendage flies outward, brushing the torch as it moves. The spider,
still with five legs planted firmly on the flagstones, is unmoved, but
the torch skitters across the floor and falls through a hole it creates
in the web curtain.

"Oops..." DM understates as he turns briefly to watch the fitful
flickering of the flaming brand descend through the masses of web below.
As it vanishes from sight, he faces upward again. "Sorry matey, you seem
to have me at a bit of a disadvantage," he says to the now invisible
creature, and then rolls himself over and off the stone path.

"I hope that was a good idea," he mutters to himself as he falls, robes
billowing in the rushing air.

The darkness explodes into the warm light of a friendly fireplace and DM
lands with a heavy bounce on the covers of a large bed. Looking up
quickly, he sees only the canopy of the huge four-poster stretched over
the bed frame. "Whoah, some ride."

He gets up and attempts to brush himself off, but the webs are quite
sticky and require some work. With the help of the large wall mirror, he
manages to clean himself off fairly well after a few minutes. Once done,
he surveys the room carefully.

An open window reveals that it is still night outside. There are a dresser
and a couple of bureaux opposite the bed. The fireplace is medium sized,
with split logs laid carefully. DM realises that the fire has been lit
only within the past few minutes. "Must have been where the torch fell.
Lucky it wasn't the other way around."

Above the mantelpiece is a large oil portrait of a dashing young
gentleman in military attire. He stares resolutely across the room, while
a large battle rages in the background. He appears somehow saddened,
although not by the fighting.

DM looks at the bed again and realises that he is in a lady's bedchamber.
Thoughtfully, he slings his scythe and steps to the door. He opens it and
passes through into a hallway. The sounds of Callahanians laughing and
joking drift to his ears.

As DM closes the door behind him he notices a tiny daddy-longlegs walking
up the wall next to the door frame. "Hey there. I just met one of your
relatives."

DM smiles and heads back to the kitchen.

- Danger Mouse.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans