Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk (Mary Branscombe)
Subject: No subject 
Reply-To: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 11:53:00 +0000

up and down, round and round
Mary wanders over to the bar from where she's been sitting quitely 
near CD.
"Hi Mike. I'd like something special, please. For celebration and 
affirmation and to make a really neat and brightly-coloured 
fireball!"
She doesn't recognsise the contents of the glass she receives from a 
grinning Mike and looks around the bar. "Mmmmmm, this is great. 
Anyone got any idea what it is?"
Draining the small glass, she heads over to the chalk line and hefts 
the drink.
"CD, I really feel for you. Stuff in my life lately has been reaching 
a point where I thought it was awful. Subconscioulsy, I've been 
waiting for another crisis. Things in my life have ended and changed 
that I thought were like a polestar, bright and fixed and central. 
Your navigation goes a bit iffy when those things change. You may 
think the world is falling apart, or it's you that's falling apart - 
is it all my fault because of something? Am I hurting, are they 
hurting - because of me?
But as someone else here said recently - what goes around comes 
around. It's bad sometimes (it's almost unbearable sometimes) - but, 
oh, it does get better. You never get any certainties - *life* 
*isn't* certain. But it can - and will - be wonderful again.
If it hurts when something breaks, then it was acting as shell to 
protect you from the world and no shell is going to last forever - 
and as long as it lasts, if it doesn't grow with you, it's going to 
limit you and cut into you and *harm* you. Breaking hurts, but it 
seems to be part of growing. Your love for yourself and the world is 
the best shell because it keeps you and others warm. It may be awful 
for ages, or just for a while, but even if you get so down that 
you're just looking for it to go on being awful - it will suddenly 
become wonderful. Job, friends, family, lovers - yes, Mr Micawber, 
something will turn up. That's what we celebrate at the turning of 
years and seasons, solstice and halloween and new year to christmas 
and birthdays. Hope and the human spirit, turning and renewal.
You may be alone, and feel alone, and then you'll meet a friend. Or 
meet part of yourself. See the flowers bloom. Smell the wind and the 
rain and feel the dance of the stars. It may be something new and 
special, it may have been there all along and you just need to wake 
up and see it. Life isn't all entropy! As I have found, there's an 
opposite force (Ignatz tells me about "extropy" which works the other 
way - you may find your own name for it).
Even when you're expecting it to stay bad and get worse, it gets 
better, sometimes in spite of you, sometimes as you watch, surprised 
and delighted with open mouth."
Mary smiles broadly, with her whole face
"And it's wonderful. It's life. And it's probably time for me to 
close my mouth for now! I'm happy and I didn't expect that at all 
just now. I didn't expect any of it! Yes, I *am* surprised - and 
delighted. Mmmmmm. Mmmmmmmm! So"
she steps up to the line and raises the small, heavy glass.

"To people, people. To life and growth and pain and endings and 
beginnings and realising and remembering it's a journey - we don't 
stay static - and to reaching the next wonderful place on the road, 
just when you thought you were stuck in roadworks for the foreseeable 
future! To the pasts and the places and the people and the 
happenstances that make futures for us. To us and the Place.
Allez-oooop!"
She hurls the glass into the fireplace and the crash-tinkly is 
followed by a gentle 'whoosh' and a very pretty coloured ball of 
flame.
"Aaah. Nice. Mike, a mango tea to relax with please."
and Mary heads off around the place, a smile of real happiness on her 
face, looking for some friends to hug and maybe a cat to stroke.

+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| Ommmmmm, said the lift                    |maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk |
| Organisation: Me? You're joking, right?   |maryb@cix.compulink.uucp  |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+