HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska)
Subject: Re: none
X-Advertisement: Use Emacs
Comments: You lose what you don't use.
Organization: Springfield Elementary School
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 05:28:29 GMT
X-Posted-From: wilbur.unh.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu


Jeff Brackin <jefb@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> writes:

=> who are you?

I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
--
The opinions expressed above are my own, and not necessarily those of UNH.

                               HUG ME!
From: petitc@vccnw04.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: none
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 01:24:14 GMT

charles@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Charles Jacob Cohen) writes:

>In article <-=m2!cl@rpi.edu> plutnj@aix.rpi.edu (James Matthew Plutnicki) writes:
>>>>>>>>	[ Attributions deleted to save space--you know you you are, anyway. ]
>>>>
>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>>>>>>>>> >>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
>>>>>>>>> >>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
>>>>>>>>> >>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
>>>>>>>>> >>Back in the first season?"
>>>>>>>>> >Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
>>>>>>>>> >alone beat up Wesley....
>>>>>>>>> O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
>>>>>>>>> Captain Miles..."
>>>>>>>>Geordie:  Enough!  I'm transferring all Warp, Impulse, APR,
>>>>>>>>and life support power into the holodeck for my new
>>>>>>>>"Wild Wanda and her Wanton Whips" program.  The rest of
>>>>>>>>you can suck cold vacuum.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Barkley: "Hey I helped program that, can I come in too????"
>>>>>>Wesley:  Hey! I programmed Wanda's Whips---you know, just the way you like it?
>>>>> Troi:  Geordie, your Star Fleet Battles training is showing.   I also sense
>>>>> great perversions....
>>>>	"Oh, boy..."
>>>Troi:  I sense a great mind.  A mind from the past.  Someone who as lived
>>>many lives, leaping from one to another....I also sense cigar smoke...
>>>
>>"I sense a small explosive that is tuned to detonate the next time Troi says '
>>I sense...'"  (Cheers are heard from the audience)
>Troi:  I sense great stupidity.   
[We hear squealing sounds of a dying bomb---the bad joke killed it]



>-- 
>"I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense,
>reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." - Galileo
>"I'm an engineer, not a dictionary!" - Me
-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: fpitt@cs.toronto.edu (Francois Pitt)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Toronto
Date: 17 Dec 92 17:17:01 GMT

ranger@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Net Ranger) writes:


>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>Back in the first season?"
>>>>>>>>>>>> >Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
>>>>>>>>>>>> >alone beat up Wesley....
>>>>>>>>>>>> O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
>>>>>>>>>>>> Captain Miles..."
>>>>>>>>>>>Geordie:  Enough!  I'm transferring all Warp, Impulse, APR,
>>>>>>>>>>>and life support power into the holodeck for my new
>>>>>>>>>>>"Wild Wanda and her Wanton Whips" program.  The rest of
>>>>>>>>>>>you can suck cold vacuum.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Barkley: "Hey I helped program that, can I come in too????"
>>>>>>>>>Wesley:  Hey! I programmed Wanda's Whips---you know, just the way you like it?
>>>>>>>> Troi:  Geordie, your Star Fleet Battles training is showing.   I also sense
>>>>>>>> great perversions....
>>>>>>>	"Oh, boy..."
>>>>>>Troi:  I sense a great mind.  A mind from the past.  Someone who as lived
>>>>>>many lives, leaping from one to another....I also sense cigar smoke...
>>>>>>
>>>>>"I sense a small explosive that is tuned to detonate the next time Troi says '
>>>>>I sense...'"  (Cheers are heard from the audience)
>>>>Troi:  I sense great stupidity.   
>>>P> [We hear squealing sounds of a dying bomb---the bad joke killed it]
>>Piccard: Computer start self-destruct sequence.  This has gone too far!
>Riker: NO the first officer does not concuur, I have taken orders from some
>balding shakspearian throwback long enough, I'm taking over; worf set phasers
>on kill and terminate the captain. 
>[cheers are heard from the crew and audience as Picard dies in a show of 
>expensive special effects]

Meanwhile, Bart, unnoticed by everyone else, had started fiddling with the
transporter, and Lore has been beamed on board...

Lore: Well, if it isn't my "good friends"...
      Computer, terminate all life support!!
From: moz@csource.oz.au (Maurie Halkier)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: TNG books
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 18:49:42

Hi Katharine,

 s3> From: s334147@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au

 s3> What do people think of the latest TNG books?  Up until recently I was
 s3> buying everyone, but I've stopped now because I think the
 s3> books aren't worth
 s3> the AUS$10 (aprox).
 s3> The authors may have written wonderful books with their own
 s3> characters, but
 s3> mostly, the next gen characters are just not believable.
 s3> There are of course, a couple of exceptions (eg Imzadi)

 s3> What do people think?

I have bought a few.  However where do you get a copy of Imzadi?  I have been
looking for it for a while.  Alternate Worlds has not had a copy and I have
rung minotaur with no success...


 s3> Katharine Shade
 s3> disclaimer: I'm a musician

And so am I... Percussion.. (welll actually a drummer... :-) )



Regards


Maurie Halkier
moz@csource.oz.au

 * Origin: Eastern Mail Centre VIC. OZ +61-3-725-1621 (3:632/386)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: emm@daneel.rdt.monash.edu.au (Wendigo)
Subject: Re: What next?
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 01:11:34 GMT

[Please note, I tried to mail this to the original author, but if
kept bouncing, so I'm posing it here.  No flames please.]

In alt.startrek.creative you write:

>I've been thinking about what I'll write when DwarfTrek's finished. I've 
>narrowed it down to three possibilities:

>1. Foundation and Federation

>2. Untitled (as yet) - I have a few suggestions for the title of
this one:
The Borg's Biscuit
Gambit
Era
The end of an Era
Irrelevance
Two's company...
One's company...
Solitude
Solitair  (sp?)

>3. The ULTIMATE crossover - again, a title or two:
The convention at the end of the universe
42  (Or what ever the number was that was the answer to life, etc)
Why is the sky black?

>Votes to my Email address please... cs_d637@uk.ac.king.ceres ...
Again, couldn't email so it's posted here, hope you see it.

My vote would be for 2 or 3.
I never could grasp the attraction of the Foundation series.
If I was to pick one I would most want, it would be 2.

Please let me know what you thought of the title suggestions and
which you will probably do next.

Evan McLean
-- 
Wendigo                                    | Every day in every way I'm getting
          [ Occasionally thought of as     | better and better, at least that's
            emm@daneel.rdt.monash.edu.au ] | what the little green men from
   { Sometimes answers to Evan McLean }    | mars keep telling me!
From: scifi@ccvax.ucd.ie
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: HELP, STORIES NEEDED !!!!!!
Date: 17 Dec 92 21:09:12 GMT
Organization: University College Dublin

HI THERE,

	AT TGHE BEGINNING OF THIS ACADEMIC YEAR, I MADE A PLEA FOR SHORT 
STORIES TO BE SUBMITTED TO ME FOR PUBLICATION IN MY UNIVERSITY SOCIETY'S
MAGAZINE.  LUCKILY WE WERE SUCESSFUL TO A DEGREE, BUT THE TIME HAS COME, I MUST
MAKE ANOTHER REQUEST, FOR MORE STORIES

	IF ANYONE HAS A SHORT STORY 20000 WORDS OR ABOUT THAT, ON ANY TOPIC IN
THE FIELD OF SCIENCE FICTION OR FANTASY, AND THE WOULD LIKE TO TRY TO GET THAT
STORY PUBLISHED, IF THEY WOULD GET IN CONTACT WITH ME, I WILL GIVE THEM MORE
DETAILS

HOPING FOR THE BEST, A MERRY CHRISTMAS


RONAN FARRELL
PRO
UCD SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY SOCIETY
  
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: charles@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Charles Jacob Cohen)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 00:38:33 GMT

In article <-=m2!cl@rpi.edu> plutnj@aix.rpi.edu (James Matthew Plutnicki) writes:
>>>>>>>	[ Attributions deleted to save space--you know you you are, anyway. ]
>>>
>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>>>>>>>> >>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>>>>>>>> >>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
>>>>>>>> >>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
>>>>>>>> >>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
>>>>>>>> >>Back in the first season?"
>>>>>>>> >Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
>>>>>>>> >alone beat up Wesley....
>>>>>>>> O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
>>>>>>>> Captain Miles..."
>>>>>>>Geordie:  Enough!  I'm transferring all Warp, Impulse, APR,
>>>>>>>and life support power into the holodeck for my new
>>>>>>>"Wild Wanda and her Wanton Whips" program.  The rest of
>>>>>>>you can suck cold vacuum.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>Barkley: "Hey I helped program that, can I come in too????"
>>>>>Wesley:  Hey! I programmed Wanda's Whips---you know, just the way you like it?
>>>> Troi:  Geordie, your Star Fleet Battles training is showing.   I also sense
>>>> great perversions....
>>>	"Oh, boy..."
>>Troi:  I sense a great mind.  A mind from the past.  Someone who as lived
>>many lives, leaping from one to another....I also sense cigar smoke...
>>
>"I sense a small explosive that is tuned to detonate the next time Troi says '
>I sense...'"  (Cheers are heard from the audience)
Troi:  I sense great stupidity.   

:)


-- 
"I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense,
reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." - Galileo
"I'm an engineer, not a dictionary!" - Me
From: shabby@Athena.MIT.EDU (Chris Shabsin)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: Re: none
Date: 16 Dec 1992 02:43:27 GMT
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Distribution: world
	<Bz98Bo.93v@math.uwaterloo.ca>
	<1992Dec14.234701.22227@zip.eecs.umich.edu> <latarra.724383967@camelot>
	<1gjeo8INNr34@bigboote.WPI.EDU>
NNTP-Posting-Host: podge.mit.edu
In-reply-to: bdsm@fermat.WPI.EDU's message of 15 Dec 1992 02:09:12 GMT

In article <1gjeo8INNr34@bigboote.WPI.EDU> bdsm@fermat.WPI.EDU (Billy Don McConnell) writes:

   In article <latarra.724383967@camelot>, latarra@camelot.bradley.edu 
   (Lisa Ehren) writes:
   |> Charles Jacob Cohen writes:
   |> >(Murray S. Kucherawy [MFCF]) writes:
   |> >>mlandaue@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael C Landauer) writes:
   |> >>>osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
   |> >>>>Jeff Brackin <jefb@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> writes:

   |> >>>>=> who are you?

   |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?

   |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
   |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"

   |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"

   |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."

   |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"

   Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."

Barclay: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get of Wesley forever..."
--
-Chris Shabsin
-shabby@athena.mit.edu
-member, SIPB, PWLCSBHNM, MITMB, VWA, MITCC, PWN, LSI
-"You got the power, you got the might, get ready for battle, beat
	that Black Knight!"
					-Black Knight pinball game...
From: jsmcgi01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: Re: More Wars ][
Date: 17 Dec 92 21:06:08 GMT
Organization: University of Louisville

In article <92352.125825U52885@uicvm.uic.edu>, <U52885@uicvm.uic.edu> writes:
> In responding to "alt.lwaxana.die.die.die" I argued that Lwaxana was the
> most interesting character on the show, which got me to thinking about how
> boring the rest of "The Next Generation" has turned out.  Granted that
> space wars scenes are probably very (too) expensive to produce week after
> week, but the most interesting show from last season was the alternate-time-
> line episode because we got to see that great "dogfight" between the
> Enterprise and the Klingons.
> 
> The producers of the show, just like the original "Star Trek" team, want
> to use the science fiction situation to explore the human condition without
> the distractions of the real world confusing things and taxing their
> writers.  Unfortunately, the characters on the show are very thin and
> the actors are directed in a way that makes the characterizations wooden.
> One only realizes how boring the show is when a huge character like Lwaxana
> comes on and stirs things up, or when there's a good space-fight and lots
> of weapons firings.
> 
> So, the producers need to make a decision:  either better acting and writing
> or more action.  Frankly, if I want good acting and writing I'll watch
> "I'll Fly Away".  What I watch "Star Trek" for is action!  Fire those
> phasers, blast away with the photon torpedoes!  Yay Enterprise!  Boo
> Romulans!  Go Go Go!

And if you just want pure action watch A-team reruns.  
Star Trek is a mixture of both (more on the story than action as of late,
though).  It cannot vary too much into one extreme.  I agree that there has
been too much emphasis on bottle episodes lately and not enuf action, but 
hopefully that will be rectified soon.

BTW, has anyone noticed how the Enterprise, the jewel of the federation, cannot
win a fight.  She was recently taken by two *old* klingon ships and only got
*ONE* shot off.  Geez, what next, aboy scout troop attacks and boards the
Enterprise!?!?!  As easy as the Ferengi made it look, I wouldn't doubt it!
Also, has Worf, Mr. perfect warrior Klingon, ever won a fight??  We have seen
him win one (against another Klingon) but he has had his butt kicked so many
times that it doesn't bother me that he never sits down.  Even Deanna beat him
up, not once but *twice*!!  He can't even use a phaser, he fired at a prone,
open, standind ferengi with no cover who just beamed in and missed!!!!
Sigh, maybe Worf and the "E" will win a fight one day.
Xref: sparky alt.startrek.creative:2752 rec.arts.startrek.misc:12578
From: jfy@cis.ksu.edu (Joseph F. Young)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: Star Trek story archive (weekly FAQ -- automated posting)
Followup-To: alt.startrek.creative
Date: 13 Dec 1992 11:59:36 GMT
Organization: Kansas State University, Dept. of Computing and Information Sciences
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: depot.cis.ksu.edu
Summary: Description of archive of ST stories and how to access it
Keywords: Stories, FTP, Mail Server, ST, TNG

Last updated: 30 Nov 92

------------------------------FTP--------------------------------------
I've seen many inquiries about an anonymous ftp archive for the
stories that appear in alt.startrek.creative.  As others have
mentioned, I maintain an archive on ftp.cis.ksu.edu (129.130.10.80) in
the directory /pub/Startrek/stories.  All files are compressed using
the ZIP format, used by INFO-ZIP's "zip" and "unzip" and PK-WARE's "pkzip"
and "pkunzip" programs, among others.
Programs, both in binary and source form, to handle this format are available
on other archive sites.
If you cannot find a program to handle ZIP files, use the
archive mail server described below.

If you find a story that I've missed, especially any of the ones that
appeared early in the life of this group or in the rec.arts.startrek.*
groups, mail it to me (jfy@cis.ksu.edu) or upload it to /pub/upload on
the archive site.

If you have any contributions to the archive, suggestions, etc. you
may also email them to me.

-----------------------------Mail--------------------------------------
For all those unfortunates who don't have Internet ftp access, I've
setup a mailserver to provide access to the archives on
ftp.cis.ksu.edu.

This mailserver can be contacted via mail one of the following
addresses:

...!rutgers!depot!mailserver  (UUCP)
mailserver@cis.ksu.edu        (Internet)

The server accepts commands given in the body of the mail messages;
help is available with the command "help".  

A listing of the files in
the story archive may be obtained by "dir -l /pub/Startrek/stories".

Since the story archive consists of ZIP files, they must
be uuencoded before they are sent on their way.  To specify this mode,
use the command "encode uuencode"  To retrieve the files, use the
"send" command (ex:  send /pub/Startrek/stories/Bestseller.zip).

If you have a system which cannot handle ZIP files, you may use
the "unzip" filter ("encode unzip") 
which will send you the uncompressed (but not uuencoded) version of the file.

Here is an example mail message:

% Mail mailserver@cis.ksu.edu
Subject: request 
help
encode uue     
send /pub/Startrek/stories/Bestseller.zip
^D
%

Please note that this is completely experimental and is not bug free.
Questions and problems about this mailserver may be directed to
"mailserver-reply@cis.ksu.edu".



-- 
Joseph Young, Systems Programmer
KSU Department of Computing and Information Sciences
Manhattan, Kansas 66506  FAX: (913) 532-7353  Phone: (913) 532-6350   
Internet: jfy@cis.ksu.edu  UUCP: rutgers!depot!jfy 
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: bdsm@fermat.WPI.EDU (Billy Don McConnell)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: Re: none
Date: 15 Dec 1992 02:09:12 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: fermat.wpi.edu
Originator: bdsm@fermat.WPI.EDU


In article <latarra.724383967@camelot>, latarra@camelot.bradley.edu 
(Lisa Ehren) writes:
|> Charles Jacob Cohen writes:
|> >(Murray S. Kucherawy [MFCF]) writes:
|> >>mlandaue@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael C Landauer) writes:
|> >>>osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
|> >>>>Jeff Brackin <jefb@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> writes:

|> >>>>=> who are you?

|> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?

|> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
|> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"

|> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"

|> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
 
|> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"

Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: ctk@well.sf.ca.us (Cassandra T. Kamuchey)
Subject: Re: another request: "A World of Two Moons: Part II:"
Organization: Whole Earth 'Lectronic Link
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 07:11:09 GMT


	Me Too!  I'am also looking gor a copy of "World of Two Moons: Part
II".  Please e-mail to me at <ctk@well.sf.ca.us.>  I promise to post as soon
as I receive it so that I won't receive too many copies.  Thanks in advance.
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: slhood@bluemoon.use.com (Stephen L. Hood)
Subject: Submitting a script
Organization: Blue Moon BBS ((614) 868-998[024])
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 92 09:04:32 EST

What procedures do I need to go through to submit a script for ST:TNG?  I 
know that there is a writer's guide and other guideline books;  how can I 
get a hold of them?

Also, if I should post this script in the future, would that disqualify my 
work for consideration?  Or vice vera?

Thanks for any advice...




| Stephen L. Hood                  Ask me about GNO/ME, the multitasking |
|  Micro Center, Inc.                    environment for the Apple IIGS! |
|  slhood@bluemoon.rn.com                  "My Woz, my Woz, why have you |
|  slhood@pro-works.cts.com                               abandoned me?" |
From: jefb@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Jeff Brackin)
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 12:21:53 GMT
Subject: none
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative

who are you?
From: maxc0452@ucselx.sdsu.edu (Legene)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: the *REAL* ST: VII plotline revealed! :)
Date: 16 Dec 92 20:02:47 GMT
Organization: San Diego State University Computing Services


     Ok, everbody's heard that ST:VII may be in the works, and that it
might involve the ST:TOS characters meeting the ST:TNG characters.
     Well, I have it on very good authority (say it in the Bigfoot
newsgroup) that the following is essentially it.

     The story takes place 20 years after ST:VI

Kirk: Spock!  Spock!
Spock: Eh?
Kirk: You were supposed to get new batteries in that thing.
Spock (sheepishly): I did, but the hearing aid just isn't shaped right
for my ear.  Keeps falling out.
Kirk (giving up):Have you located the bran muffins?
Spock: I believe they are located in aisle 2, Admiral.

They wheel the shopping cart to aisle 2, the candy and diet foods
section.

Kirk: Gosh durn it!  Why do they always put the diet foods next to
      the candy in these places? (looks mournfully at chocolate bars)
Spock: The subject really needs more study, Jim.

A little boy at the other end of the aisle is having a discussion --
a loud discussion -- with his mother.

Mother: You go put that right back!
Little boy: Mother, is an instance of utter barbarity!. (Turns, walks rigidly
            down the aisle, puts the candy bar back.
Mother: Jean-Luc, you're going to drive your mother to an early grave!
        You know that, don't you?

Kirk (shaking head): I just don't understand the younger generation.

Spock and Kirk get 40 bran muffins and exit.  

Closing credits.


A
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative