From: Crawford_Kilian@mindlink.bc.ca (Crawford Kilian)
Subject: Fiction Advice 14: Dialogue
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 04:32:06 GMT






"Let's Talk About Dialogue," He Pontificated

Dialogue has to sound like speech, but it can't be a mere transcript; most
people don't speak precisely or concisely enough to serve the writer's needs.
Good dialogue has several functions:

*To convey exposition: to tell us, through the conversations of the
characters, what we need to know to make sense of the story.

*To convey character: to show us what kinds of people we're dealing with.

*To convey a sense of place and time: to evoke the speech patterns,
vocabulary and rhythms of specific kinds of people.

*To develop conflict: to show how some people use language to dominate
others, or fail to do so.

Each of these functions has its hazards. Expository dialogue can be dreadful:

"We'll be in Vancouver in thirty minutes," the flight attendant said. "It's
Canada's biggest west coast city, with a population of over a million in the
metropolitan area."

Dialogue can convey character, but the writer may bog down in chatter that
doesn't advance the story.

"When I was a kid," said Julie, "I had a stuffed bear named Julius. He was a
sweet old thing, and whenever I was upset I'd howl for him." (Unless Julie is
going to howl for Julius when her husband leaves her, this kind of remark is
pointless.)

Dialogue that conveys a specific place and time can become exaggerated and
stereotyped:

"Pretty hot ootside, eh?" remarked Sergeant Renfrew of the Royal Canadian
Mounted Police. "Good day to get oot of the hoose and oot on the saltchuck,
eh? Catch us a couple of skookum salmon, eh?"

Dialogue that develops conflict has to do so while also conveying exposition,
portraying character, and staying true to the time and place:

"Gadzooks," said Sergeant Renfrew as he dismounted from his motorcycle.
"Wouldst please present thy driver's licence and registration, madam?"

"Eat hot lead, copper!" snarled Sister Mary Agnes as she drew the .45 from
within her habit.

Some Dialogue Hazards to Avoid:

Too much faithfulness to speech: "Um, uh, y'know, geez, well, like, well."

Unusual spellings: "Yeah," not "Yeh" or "Yea" or "Ya."

Too much use of "he said," "she said."

Too much variation: "he averred," "she riposted"

Dialect exaggeration: "Lawsy, Miz Scahlut, us's wuhkin' jes' as fas' as us
kin."

Excessive direct address: "Tell me, Marshall, your opinion of Vanessa." "I
hate her, Roger." "Why is that, Marshall?" "She bullies everyone, Roger."

Some Dialogue Conventions to Consider:

Each new speaker requires a new paragraph, properly indented and set off by
quotation marks.

"Use double quotations," the novelist ordered, "and remember to place commas
and periods inside those quotation marks."

"If a speaker goes on for more than one paragraph," the count responded in
his heavy Transylvanian accent, "do not close off the quotation marks at the
end of the first paragraph.

"Simply place quotation marks at the beginning of the next paragraph, and
carry on to the end of the quotation."

Use "he said" expressions only when you must, to avoid confusion about who's
speaking. You can signal increasing tension by moving from "he said" to "he
snapped," to "he snarled," to "he bellowed furiously." But the dialogue
itself should convey that changing mood, and make such comments needless.

Action as well as speech is a part of dialogue. We expect to know when the
speakers pause, where they're looking, what they're doing with their hands,
how they respond to one another. The characters' speech becomes just one
aspect of their interactions; sometimes their words are all we need, but
sometimes we definitely need more. This is especially true when you're trying
to convey a conflict between what your characters say and what they feel:
their nonverbal messages are going to be far more reliable than their spoken
words.

Speak your dialogue out loud; if it doesn't sound natural, or contains
unexpected rhymes and rhythms, revise it.

Rely on rhythm and vocabulary, not phonetic spelling, to convey accent or
dialect.

If you are giving us your characters' exact unspoken thoughts, use italics.
If you are paraphrasing those thoughts, use regular Roman type (I'm using
asterisks to indicate italics):

*Now what does she want?* he asked himself. *Isn't she ever satisfied?*
Marshall wondered what she wanted now. She was never satisfied.

If you plan to give us a long passage of inner monologue, however, consider
the discomfort of having to read line after line of italic print. If you wish
to emphasize a word in a line of italics, use Roman: *Isn't she* ever
*satisfied?*