HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jlane@Ingres.COM (Judi Lane)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Part Two of "Dryads' Dailiness"
Keywords: Nymphette, Nympho
Date: 2 Sep 92 16:21:40 GMT
Reply-To: jlane@Ingres.COM (Judi Lane)
Organization: Ask Computer Systems Inc., Ingres Division, Alameda CA 94501

In article <1992Sep2.071143.6511@sequent.com> rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:
>In article <BtvqIF.Gz5@bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au> coates@newton.physics.uq.oz.au (Tony Coates) writes:
>>In article <1992Sep1.002635.11945@pony.Ingres.COM>, jlane@Ingres.COM (Judi Lane) writes:
>>|>     Thanks, Paul! *alittlehug'cuzI'mstillalittleshyforbein'new* 8^)
>>|>     I'm glad to see that not every guy here on ARC has his brain
>>|>     wasting away in the dank recesses of cerebral gutters!!  (Read
>>|>     into this what will, o guilty parties... we all know what those
>>|>     plain brown paper packages on _your_ doorsteps are... and they
>>|>     ain't from Avon!!)
>>|>
>>|>     Oh, yeah... the above-mentioned lashing of the guilty does NOT
>>|>     include you, my sweet TiggerVictor.  *hug hug* 8^)
>>|>
>>|>
>>|>     Judi
>>|>     The Official Dryad of the RFA
>>|>     (justwhenIfinishmy.sigIprobablywon'twantitanymorenuts)
>>
>>Judi, Judi, Judi!  Am I to be accused of possessing dank recesses?  Gee,
>>how was I to know forsee that 'Nymph' would turn into 'Nympho', in the
>>hands of other (not mentioning any names ...).  As for brown paper
>
>No need.  I gladly take the blame for that!  I mean it takes a
>warped, twisted, sick mind to think up stuff like that... the world
>needs more warped, twisted, sick minds.
>
>>packages, I think that *such* magazines are offensive to women, at least
>>the ones that I think you were referring to!
>
>You mean those smut mags? Or Vanity Fair, and Cosmo?  Or even Better
>Homes, which assumes that men have no interest in how the house looks
>or what to serve for dinner.  Don't you think mags like that are
>degrating to men?

    (The Official Dryad attempts to fax crude comments regarding men's
    allergies to domestic duties to a certain individual at Sequent, 
    but she gets her crystal pendant jammed in the feeder.  "Help!
    Somebody! Anybody!  <dramatic pause>  hey!  where'd everybody go??
    It's not lunch time yet!!  Somebody!!  Help meeeeeeeeeeeee...")
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave)
Subject: Re: Looking for help
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 20:13:11 GMT

>>>>>>So tell me, what would be good ways to start?
>>>>>>Or is the rumor right, that you'll never find anybody while you're
>>>>>>looking? If that's the truth, I'm looking forward to a _really_ lonely
>>>>>>future :-(
>>>>>>
>>>>>>So, dear netland, what are your opinions? How does one 'look without
>>>>>>looking'?
>>>>>
>>>>>The rumor is true in my experience.  Whenever I went looking I was
>>>>>invariably disappointed.  Eventually I gave up and decided to be happy on
>>>>>my own, and I met someone almost immediately.
>>>>>
>>>I think the original poster has an important point, which is it is
>>>possible to try too hard.  While there's alot to be said for taking
>>>matters into your own hands, sometimes the best thing to do is just relax
>>>and not worry about it.  The trick is knowing the balance between the
>>>two.
>>>
>>>Jeremy
>> 
>> Someone once told me that before you can love someone else, you must first
>> love yourself.
>> 
>> Be happy with who you are and don't pull yourself down in self pity. People 
>> who see a person who is (so to speak) in love with him/herself will see the
>> 'good vibes' that you have and they will be attracted to that. 
>> 
>> --Joel
>> -- 
>	Even then, there can be extreme cases of this (what you have stated as 
>a requirement for a solid relationship.)
>
>	I knew this one guy who was so in love with himself he couldn't keep a 
>steady girlfriend.  Sure, he had a great body, but even the dimmest of the girls
>he would get never lasted more than a week because they realized what a creep he
>was.  (In other words, so in love with himself that he really didn't give any 
>positive attention to them.)
>
>	Since he was really muscular for a guy, they would all sleep with him,
>but then realize what a jerk he was.  I can actually only feel sadness for him
>because he doesn't really know what it is like to love somebody else, or to
>have somebody else love him.
>
>	Food for thought.
>
>		Kyle

An extreme case for sure.  I think Joel hit the nail on the head,
though.  He doesn't mean loving yourself to the point of conceit.  I
think he means you must first like who you are.  You have to be
comfortable with yourself.

Jeremy


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Subject: =)
Organization: Youngstown State University/Youngstown Free-Net
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 13:41:30 GMT


It's friday......


                        ............I'm in love.
-- 
Irony is hygiene of the mind      --Elizabeth Bibesco
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jmwise@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Ms. Johanna Wise)
Subject: Re: Lopsided Beginnings
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sun, 23 Aug 1992 22:17:10 GMT

I just wanted to say.....i started everything with me and my SEU (hey I like
that acronym!). yet we both immediately consented with one another, i
think it was just a question of time as to who got to it first. I guess i just
wanted to let him know I was crazy over him more :-) .

and no we havent met. we've done the usual, proper  letters, talks,
email, phone calls, sending tapes, photos, gifts etc etc etc.

j.
-- 
Johanna M. Wise                         VMS: jmwise@gold.ucs.indiana.edu
Music is a life-long love affair.      NeXT: jmwise@cherokee.ucs.indiana.edu
                                       Unix: jmwise@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: MoreIncrediblySageAdviceNeeded...
Organization: Clark University
Date: 26 AUG 92 15:41:30 GMT

In a previous article, 01sybok@ac.dal.ca wrote:
>Funny how one gets this odd grin on one's face while reading this.
> 
>I have a problem. Well several, but one in particular.
> 
>Met this girl I've known for a long time on Friday night. It turns out she
>got hired at my favorite bar. I asked her if I could call her. SHe said sure.
> 
>Called her Monday. Asked her if she wanted to come to Twin Peaks on Friday
>(the movie, not the town ;-)
> 
>She said sure... but she'd have to check to make sure she wasn't working.
> 
>Called her a little while ago. SHe still hadn't checked.
> 
>She works two jobs, so I figure this might explain why she didn't have time
>to check her schedule at one of them.
> 
>I need advice.
>Should I:
> 
>1) keep trying or 
>2) give up?
> 
>Also if you think (1), can any of you think of anything charming I can do next
>time I ask if she's checked? Bear in mind I'm sorta shy and won't do anything 
>too elaborate (I'd die of embarrassmant (sp?))
> 
>Oddly enough, a couple of minths ago or so, the SAME THING happened at the
>SAME BAR (except the girl I met that time I hadn't known from before), so
>if this story sounds familiar, that's why. Turned out the last girl had a 
>boyfriend ;-(.
>Please send replies ASAP, since the movie starts on Friday, and it's Tuesday 
>night. Please EMAIL any suggextions, I might not have the time to go through
>this newsgroup.
> 
>Thanks!
>Mike
> 
> 
>-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>I have a fondness for big hair, and the industrial strength heavy-duty 
>environment-mangling aerosol hair spray that creates it. 
> 
>								Laura LeMay
>-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

TWIN PEAKS as a First Date movie????  I try to stay away from the violent, 
emotionally-wrenching flicks on the first date...

/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
|  \  /                                                              \  /  |
|  /  \               From the Desk and Mind of Mitch                /  \  |
|   /\                                                                /\   |
|  \  /                   MCohen@Vax.Clarku.Edu                      \  /  |
|   \/                                                                \/   |
|            Any opinions expressed are clearly someone else's!            |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
From: chil@fraser.sfu.ca (Keith Lim)
Subject: Re: A Piece of Advice
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 09:09:06 GMT

dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:

>In the referenced article kklai@napier.uwaterloo.ca (Betty Boop) writes:
>>In article <Btw0AK.D4u@wpi.WPI.EDU> gryphon@wpi.WPI.EDU (The Emotional Yo Yo) writes:
>>>I have discovered, through practical and painful experience, that, should you
>>>wish to destroy a relationship utterly, there is no better way to do it than
>>>with three little words:
>>>
>>>I love you.
>>
>>Yes but it is also the best way to create a long lasting relationship. Though
>>sometimes it may destroy a relationship in most cases it will lead you to the
>					    ^^^^ 
>					I beg to differ.
>	
>>relationship that you have been searching for...
>>
>>Betty Boop

>Yes, but can you afford to lose some of the good friendships along the way?
>It's more of a dilemma than some people seem to appreciate. Some people are
>just (un)lucky, I suppose. No more, no less, but...

Sorry for the long quote. The last three lines (beginning with "Yes, but...")
are the only ones I want to respond to, but the rest of it seemed 
necessary for context.

What I don't understand is the idea that saying "I love you" is something
that is likely to destroy a good friendship. Worst case scenario I can
envision is a LJBF reply, which means only that the relationship should
continue on as it had previously, and not develop into something deeper.
If there was a misinterpretation of intent involved, there is always time
for explanations, and, if necessary, apologies. A "good friendship"
should be able to stand up to a misunderstanding without being harmed.

I do not know what the "dilemma" referred to in the second-last line (of
the quoted text) refers to. It might mean--I don't know if it is
supposed to--having to decide if the relationship is one of "friends"
or "lovers". This may be a false dichotomy, indeed, I consider it so.
Can not a person be both? And by saying "I love you", could not a person
be saying, in effect, that he/she wants to be both to the other? 

-- 
Keith_Lim@sfu.ca   Simon Fraser University, Burnaby B.C., V5A 1S6, Canada
Forum (Cog Sci); Senate; CDSU; ASC. ...but all opinions are my own only.

"Adults lie because they've built entire lives on sham and illusion,
 which they try to maintain by kidding themselves and everyone around them."
                                             --Matt Groening, "Life in Hell"
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Flirting (was: Re: LJBF again)
Date: 4 Sep 92 00:47:50 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Sep3.035908.8970@wam.umd.edu> huesmann@wam.umd.edu (Joseph Edward Huesmann) writes:
>Well, then it isn't very nice of them to flirt with us hopeless masses
>then, is it?
>
>Joe
>
No! It is very nice of them.

First, it helps us hopeless masses a chance to cheer up.
Second, it gives a hint early on that they aren't looking.
Third, it is good practice for when you find someone special.
Fourth, by flirting with someone who is taken, you might make
a good impression with someone who is not.

From my experience, in a mixed social group, that women who are
taken will flirt, and women who are not taken will be a bit shy, unless
they are totally disinterested.  I would guess that women would find
that men act the same way.  So I flirt with the flirts, but I make sure
I talk to the shy ones.

Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re:  Love
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 92 01:40:28 GMT

In article <annie.02v0@canetoad.UUCP> annie@canetoad.UUCP (Annie) writes:
>Okay. Point taken. BUT:
>The latest stuff I've read on a.r has been all about describing "love"
>in terms of how it *feels*. If I say I feel all warm in my belly and
>my palms are sweating, I could be in love, or I might just have eaten
>a pizza and walked up six flights of stairs. Same feeling! What I was
>pulling folks' legs about was the confusion between love and "feelings".
>I find them quite distinct. In your case, for example, do you really
>wish to stop "loving" this other person, or do you wish to stop feeling
>the way you do towards him/her? Yes, feelings are real and sometimes 
>do not go away, but I find love in actions, not feelings.
>

Yes, feelings are transient. I would say that love is deeply held
attitude toward another person in which the lover finds that the loved
one's well-being is about as important as his (or her) own, and is
sensitive about the loved one.  This sensitivity makes for some strong
feelings, feelings which we might happen in other circumstances, but
usually not as strongly.

When I said I had wished that I could stop loving someone, I was
thinking of unrequited (unrepaid) love. I am (I hope) getting over a
nasty bout of this. Naturally, I am not too happy about the situation,
but also she has feelings of guilt and insecurity. I enjoy feeling love
for her, but I want to do what is good for her and I hate feeling that
any suggestion of love may cause her discomfort. I don't want to turn
off my emotions, I just want to see her as an ordinary person, since
I feel it is best if I treat her as such.

I am curious what you mean when you say you find love in actions. Do
you mean that you know you love someone by your actions, or that you
know they love you by actions, or that you have a loving relationship
because of your (joint) actions?

Michael.
From: I.A.Inman@newcastle.ac.uk (Ian Alexander Inman)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: So when is it my turn?
Keywords: Broken Hearted.
Date: 26 Aug 92 17:08:18 GMT
Organization: Computing Laboratory, U of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK NE1 7RU.



Nobody loves me.
Nobody cares.
Noone for me,
For my life with to share.

Why is it everyone else get's a date.
I'll be left alone on the shelf at this rate.
I've no prospect in site,
No flame to light,
No reason to stay out late.

So when is it my turn,
For my heart to burn,
With love for that special Miss right.
I yearn and I yearn,
And toss and turn,
For that feeling that makes life so bright.

					The Broken Heart.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: partee@iastate.edu (Jonathan F Partee)
Subject: Universal Energy
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, IA
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 14:18:25 GMT

>The body has full capability to heal itself of any disease, if we
>have the right thoughts in our head.  There are documented cases of
>people with multiple personalities for which one personality has
>a disease, like diabetes, and another personality is completely
>healthy.

>It actually goes way beyond "positive thought."  There is no positive
>and negative thought, it's all just energy.  You have to totally
>change your belief system into one drastically different from
>what society uses, and live it down to your very core, down to the
>cellular level.  You have to get completely out of society's limiting
>energy field, or rather than remove yourself from it, remove it from
>you - and keep it out.  Everything you see, hear, feel, smell, touch,
>think, sense, etc is all made up.  It's all an agreement among the
>humans of the earth.  You have to break the agreement.  Once you
>break the agreement, quit making everything up the way everybody
>else makes it up, you can make up anything in any way that you desire.
>Such as healing your body, healing others' bodies, or even creating
>anything material that you want, tranforming the universal energy
>that's out there everywhere into any form you desire.  People
>have done it for thousands of years, (Jesus was no more the son
>of God than anybody else (if you even believe in Jesus and what
>he supposedley could do), he just had mastery over matter).

Both arms cut off in a farming accident?  Remove yourself from society's
limiting energy field and believe that your arms AREN'T hamburger and voila,
they will reappear!

Were you walking alone one night and you were raped?  NO!  Of COURSE you 
weren't raped.  You were foolishly partaking in the seeing, hearing, feeling,
smelling, touching, thinking and sensing that all the humans of the earth
agreed to make up.  We all got together last thursday and agreed that you
would be raped.  You missed the meeting so ...

What?  You still have to work?  Everything you desire can be had by universal
energy!  Make a SO out of universal energy!  Make gold, silver, diamonds out
of universal energy!  Even make US currency out of universal energy.  (Although
the treasury department may take a dim view of that!)  

But I can't write a long response.  I plan to make a Ferrari out of universal
energy tonight and by tomorrow I plan to transform my body until I am 6'2"
190 lbs.  I can't believe that you all agreed to make me 5'10", 145.  What
were you thinking? 

Jonathan
-- 
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Jonathan Partee      |email:                  | "And you shall know the    |
|Graduate Slave       |  partee@iastate.edu    |  truth and the truth shall |
|Iowa State University|                        |  make you free"    Jn 8.32 |
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Looking for help
Date: 2 Sep 92 18:58:43 GMT
Reply-To: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Organization: BNR Europe Limited, London Road, Harlow, Essex, GB

In the referenced article jorichar@csws19.ic.sunysb.edu (Joel Richard) writes:
>jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave) writes:
>>burger@convex1.tcs.tulane.edu (The Rodman) writes:
>>>ejs@sybase.com (gator fodder) writes:
>>>>frank@rniwi.rni.sub.org (Frank Mogaddedi) writes:

[Gobs of really great stuff, sadly deleted due to irrelevancy]
>
>Someone once told me that before you can love someone else, you must first
>love yourself.
>
>--Joel

Yes, but that's really rather a subtle phrase, isn't it! I heard it first
many years ago and only *now* am just begining to vaguely grasp what it
actually *means*, rather than just says.

I used to think "sure, *of course* I love myself; I know plenty of losers
that I'm not like; I know plenty of weirdos that really do seem to belittle
themselves and I'm not like that at all; I *deserve* to be loved". 

However, what it seems to mean to me these days is a *contentment with 
yourself without the feeling of need for another*.

Thus, when the Enlightenment :-) of being happy being on your own is
achieved, thence will ye be ready for True Love (or something like that!).

No? Clarity please. Cut the pat phrases! :-)

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
From: petitc@vccsouth01.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Religion (was Re: Together and other dating services)
Date: 27 Aug 92 14:10:29 GMT
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.


  A quick question:  About what percent of women are religious/extremely
religious?  And what percent of men? (I'm hoping that there's someone who works
for the US Census Bureau to help me out :&) )

-- 
"The mightiest weapon in the history of science fiction is the writer's pen"
"Although the pen is mightier than the sword, I know which one I'd choose to
fend off a murderer."
"Stop, or ELSE."  "Or else WHAT?"  "Oh.  Never mind."
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Opinion/insight- becoming friends with an ""ex""
Date: 27 Aug 92 13:02:02 GMT
Reply-To: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Organization: BNR Europe Limited, London Road, Harlow, Essex, GB

In the referenced article mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>
[Deleted: following breakup 7-8 years ago, other party still wants to avoid
 contact at all costs, even via mutual friends.]
>
>Anyone out there been through a similar situation?  I'd be particularly 
>interested in the point of view of one who did NOT want to be approached by an 
>"ex", to get a better point of view on what she might be going through.  
>Anything appreciated!
>
>|  \  /                   MCohen@Vax.Clarku.Edu                      \  /  |


Failing at trying to be more positive in this newsgroup, but...

I haven't been in this situation yet, but could be one day (I was one half of
a big break-up some years ago -- mutual friends do not exist yet, to my
knowledge, but may do one day), so some thoughts:

- I felt the more 'injured' party in my breakup -- I would find it *very*
  difficult to cope with being approached by my ex. It might ruin my life for
  yet another extended period. I've coped with the breakup now; I'm 'over' it. 
  I wouldn't want to risk a whole wodge of pain being brought back from the 
  dead. Second time around, I might not recover...

- "Let sleeping dogs lie" is a good adage to keep handy.

- Sometimes when you pick at scabs or scars, rather than finding healing
  underneath you make the wound start to bleed again and postpone healing.

- Whatever the rational & moral motive of the poster, the other party may
  simply be one of these people that are unable to talk things out. Such
  people exist (and should be culled, come the revolution, IMHO! ;-))

- Just because *you* want to clear the air and think the status quo is "wrong", 
  doesn't mean the other party wants to, or needs to do anything about it. If 
  you force the issue, you are being *selfish*.

- "Write her a letter" as someone suggested, would be a good idea, if
  despite the above, you *still* want to try to do anything about it.
  Remember though, it they are still sore after 7-8 years, this person
  probably wants to be left alone, IMHO.

Good luck -- and tell us what you decide! :-)

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
From: petitc@vccnw02.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Friends First or Not?
Date: 29 Aug 92 23:38:05 GMT
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.


 Is it better, in your opinion, or not, to be friends before dating?  On the
one hand, if you're friends first, you know a lot more about the person, but
(s)he will get too comfortable with your friendship, and will tend to find it
harder to love you.  On the other hand, if you date first, you may not know a
lot about the person, but at least you're "used to" dating each other.

-- 
"The mightiest weapon in the history of science fiction is the writer's pen"
"Although the pen is mightier than the sword, I know which one I'd choose to
fend off a murderer."
"Stop, or ELSE."  "Or else WHAT?"  "Oh.  Never mind."
Xref: sparky alt.romance:11050 alt.romance.chat:17812