From: barnejd@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh,rec.arts.comics.misc
Subject: LNH: The Cosmic Conspiracy, part 8 - Conclusion at last!
Date: 23 Nov 92 19:58:12 CST
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

Here it is, the end of the road (at last!) for the CC mini.  I again
apologize for the extreme lateness of the entire mini; life just got in the
way!  :+)  So, here we go...

CHAPTER EIGHT:
  Continuity Champ crawled out from under the wreckage of the fallen
ceiling.  Parts of the underground lair's structure had collapsed due to
the tremendous energies released from the burst.
  Dr. Killfile stood before him, his skin glowing with an unearthly
radiance and a look of rapture set on his face.  "So much power," he
murmured to himself.
  The Champion started forward, hoping to stop Killfile before he had fully
asimilated the celestial energies he had stolen.  The evil doctor, however,
noticed the LNHer.  He smiled evily and waved his hand.
  Continuity Champ felt his muscles begin to stiffen.  As he struggled to
keep moving, his body began to freeze in place.
  Dr. Killfile laughed at CC's futile attempts.  "My dear, dear Champion,"
he purred, "you just won't give up until you're dead, will you?"
  The Champion noticed Obscure Trivia Lad struggling to his feet behind
Killfile.  The explosion had destroyed his control device; with it gone,
OTL would be free to attack him.  CC tore his gaze back to the doctor and
renewed his struggling against the holding field.
  Killfile's smile twisted into an evil glare.  "This is my moment of
triumph, you cretin!  You should bow before me!  Accept your fate, worm! 
You are powerless before my might!  I am power incarnate!  Now and forever,
I AM KILLFILE!"
  Obscure Trivia Lad struck him from behind.  The doctor fell to his hands
and knees.  "You ungrateful wretch," he spat at the android.  "I would have
made you my lieutenant, my right hand."  He stood slowly.  "A pity I must
destroy you."
  A flash of energy nearly blinded CC.  Somewhere, he heard a thud.  When
his vision cleared, Killfile had grown to be ten feet tall and was holding
Obscure Trivia Lad by the neck.
  The giant nerd laughed.  "You surely didn't think you'd win, did you? 
Hahahahaha!"
  With the doctor's concentration focused on OTL, the Champ felt the
holding field fade.  He was free!
  And he had a plan, one which might well stop Killfile.
  Killfile shook Obscure Trivia Lad like a rag doll, laughing madly. 
Obscure Trivia Lad was unable to use his new shapeshifting powers; Killfile
had blocked them.
  Finally, the doctor grew tired of tormenting the android.  "Away with
you," he cried, and hurled OTL's form.  He struck the wall with incredible
force, but, even worse, he hit an electrical box.  Electricity flowed
through his prone form.
  Killfile turned, only to see that Continuity Champ was gone.
  "Good," he laughed heartily, "a test of my new powers.  You cannot hide
from me, my good Champion."  He began to use his celestial senses to track
CC's flight...
  ...when he felt arms lock around him from behind, catching him in a full
nelson.  He struggled against his would-be captor, unamused for the first
time.  But Continuity Champ held firm, his weary muscles powered with a
strength born of desperation.
  "You fool!  I'll vaporize you!"  The doctor twisted one arm so as to
blast the Champ.  Power began to emanate from the limb.
  CC only smiled.  "You've made your first - and last - mistake, Killfile."
  Killfile's new smile faded, as he felt his energies weaken.  "No," he
said huskily.  "What are you doing to me?"
  "You didn't think you'd be able to hold my power forever did you/  My
power is as much a part of me as your hands are to you," he snickered,
leeching away more of his power.
  "Nooooo!"  Killfile flopped about like a fish on land, but it was no use. 
As more of the Champion's power returned to him, his strength grew and his
wounds healed faster.  CC felt his cosmic powers return in a rush he had
not felt in weeks.
  As the last of his energies returned, he noticed that Killfile had passed
out from the strain.  While CC had no compunctions about killing in the
line of duty when it could not be averted, he was not a cold-hearted or
cold-blooded murderer.  On the other hand, he could not let the doctor just
go free; he might retain a part of the cosmic awareness he had siphoned
from the Champ.  As he looked around for a solution, the Champion's gaze
fell upon a perfect answer to his dilemma, one which would punish Killfile
and make sure he would be a threat no longer.

                ****                 ****                ****          

  Within an hour, Killfile had been dealt with and CC had returned to find
Obscure Trivia Lad regaining consciousness.
  "How do you feel?"  he asked the android gruffly.
  OTL shook his head slightly.  "Obscure Trivia Lad feels as though Obscure
Trivia Lad has lost his cosmic powers."
  "Perhaps Killfile blocked them and it hasn't worn off yet."
  "No, Obscure Trivia Lad does not think so.  Obscure Trivia Lad thinks it
may be because of that electrical box he was hurled into."
  Continuity Champ looked down at his official Time-Waster Lad wristwatch. 
"It looks like it's past time to go.  Waaay past time, as a matter of fact;
this miniseries was due to be over a month ago.  Can you fly?"
  "Obscure Trivia Lad thinks Obscure Trivia Lad still possesses that and a
few other cosmic powers.
  As the two Legionnaires flew off toward the setting sun, a thought struck
one of them.
  "Obscure Trivia Lad has a question."
  "Yes?"  CC sighed.  "What now?"
  "What did you do with Killfile?"
  Under the mask, the Champion smiled wickedly.  "I put him somewhere where
he'll be comfortable for a long time."

                ****                ****                ****

  Killfile awoke, his whole body racked with pain.  His stomach felt as
though someone had turned it inside out.  His temples throbbed mercilessly. 
He groaned in pain and tried to move, only to find himself tied down with
leather straps to a table.  
  His motions, however, activated a video monitor within his line of sight. 
It snapped on.  Continuity Champ's masked countenance appeared.  "Hello,
Killfile.  For your crimes, you deserve to suffer, but I will not murder
you.  I've arranged a suitable... alternative instead." 
  "I'm sure you recognize the machine you're hooked up to.  It's your
EXTRACTor, with a few modifications of mine."
  "No," the doctor breathed, his eyes as big as saucers.
  "Oh, yes," the recorded image replied.  "You see, it will feed you
intravenously for quite some time, allowing your body to live.  Your
mind... well, you know the nasty habit the EXTRACTor has of erasing
memories..."
  "Your cultists may return in time to find what's left of you.  I'd advise
you to spend what little time you'll have left with your mental facilities
to switch religions."  The screen faded to black, and the machine began to
hum.
  "No," Killfile said again, thrashing against his bonds.  "No!  Noooooooooo!"
His screams echoes throughout the devastated base, but no one was left to
hear them.  No one at all.

THE END (at last)

-Drizzt
Xref: sparky alt.industrial:759 alt.sex:36321 alt.cyberpunk:5815 alt.prose.d:247