From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (David Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: HaircutPeeves (was: own private idaho)
Date: Sun, 06 Sep 1992 02:18:49 GMT
 <la9oa0INN2nn@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> <17573@autodesk.COM>
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00 beta rel2

In article <17573@autodesk.COM>, Elaine Richards writes:

> Peeve: Chatty hair girls. Nice to know men have the same problem

Avoidance mechanism: Don't get your hair cut.

> 	I just want to say, "cut it" or "dye it" and then sit meditatively
> 	while someone frobs my hair.

When explaining the elegant simplicity of FOAD to someone at
work, they replied that FROB was their favourite back in the
seventies.

Fuck Right Off, Boy.

Which sounds pretty damned strange when put into the context you
used.

For the definitive explanation [tautology be damned] of FOAD,
here's one networkers efforts from Oz [Kimberley Heitman]:

////////////////// begin included article //////////////////////////

 KH > FoaD
  
 JS > What's is the exact definition??? eh???

I'm glad you asked that question. The term "FOAD" is an acronym
from the first letters of the phrase "Fuck Off And Die".

F for Fuck.
O for Off.
A for And.
D for Die.

Get the picture. *F.O.A.D.* You , Joel Sutton , particularly ! 

Now , within this pithy expression lies a clever cluster concept,
designed for maximum information exchange within the framework
of four letters. It's quite elegant how far advanced miniature 
concept engineering is within this echo , but this is perhaps not
the best of examples as the term is only intended to be used in
one solitary instance.

When a useless consumer of oxygen such as yourself wanders in.

So , to reiterate , the term provides you with a useful sequence
of recommended activities , with the result that you will cease
to annoy with your presence and begin to delight with your absence.

"Fuck Off" means to go away , only very much so. The keywords 
implicit therein are "Right Now" and "By Any Means" , but in fact
any method of rapid Joel-removal may be employed.

"And Die" is the rider , indicating that it is not considered likely
that you have the self-control to stay away of your own accord. Some
sort of permanent Joel-extinction is recommended here. The expression
is used in this manner so as to emphasise that from your horrid 
messages may be gained the certain knowledge that you will never make
an utterance worthy of recording by echo-mail , the typewriter or 
indeed a yellow crayon.


///////////////// end included article ///////////////////////////

> !Peeve: I found an unchatty hair girl. She does damn fine work too.

Last time I got my hair cut [November 1988], it was at the behest
of a 'home hairdresser' who said she would cut my hair for free
if I would let her. So being a cheapskate, I did let her. 

Peeve:  The 'Mel Gibson' haircut that ensued was directly
	responsible for my personal development being smashed
	back to the seventies.

<Anyone replying with "and your personal development has stayed
level with that of the seventies" can frob!>

> ER

Dac
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