HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: It's in the dictionary!
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 00:26:04 GMT

In article <Aug.29.13.02.00.1992.28277@math.rutgers.edu> jdare@math.rutgers.edu (James Dare) writes:
>In article <1992Aug27.001843.7626@venice.sedd.trw.com> gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore) writes:
>
>> From the Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, 1979 Edition:
>> 
>> booboisie \boob wah 'zee\ n : a class of the general public that is 
>> composed of boobs.
>> 
>
>I think this word was the invention of H.L. Mencken, the curmudgeon's
>curmudgeon.
>
Could be, but it definitely is in Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, 1979 Edition.

>|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
>| James A. Dare          | Hammered a screwdriver into my ear, to my brain.   |
>| E-mail:                | I'm watchin' my life swirl down the drain          |
>| jdare@math.rutgers.edu | And I'm feelin' about as Abel as Cain              |
>| Snail-mail:            | But I guess that that's the price of fame          |
>| P.O. Box 4104          | When you're destined to live on a STREET OF SHAME! |
>| Highland Park, NJ      |                        --Foetus                    |
>|            08904-4104  ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
>|                        | I saw an x-ray of a girl passing gas!              |
>|                        |                        --Butthole Surfers          |
>|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
>| Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.|
>|	   		-- Vice President Dan Quayle                          |
>|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||


-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
Xref: sparky rec.humor:27679 soc.culture.polish:2287 alt.censorship:7336
From: mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
Subject: BB (was Re: Polack joke)
Date: 2 Sep 92 17:41:12 GMT
Organization: The Ohio State University

In article <2529@bsu-cs.bsu.edu> joemays@bsu-cs.bsu.edu (Joseph F. Mays) writes
>In article <1992Sep1.193027.4913@unislc.uucp> miket@unislc.UUCP (Michael Thomp
son,B2C04,4560) writes:
>>I'm not sure what a TP44 is; however, a BB (Ball Bearing) gun is a very
>>low powered air rifle.  Like I said before a BB is very small, ~one eighth

>Even this might give a false impression of exactly how low-powered a BB gun

     Wait!  Didn't this thread start out as a joke about BBs in
a batch of cookies?  What I want to know is why the second
poster didn't know what BBs were, but was familiar with the
phrase 'jerking off.'

-???????
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: smackinl01@cc.curtin.edu.au
Subject: Re: Humor
Organization: Curtin University of Technology
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 04:12:52 GMT

In article <1992Sep01.212008.27828@CS.ORST.EDU>, reidyj@CS.ORST.EDU (Jay Reidy) writes:
> 
>   How come this is called 'rec.humor'?
A: Because Americans can't spell `humour'.
-- 
Simon.
Have you got a form 27/b?
From: ria@dash.udev.cdc.com (Richard Askew)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny sign
Date: 1 Sep 92 10:04:18 GMT
Organization: Control Data Systems Inc., London, UK.
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3

std_gibson@hg.uleth.ca (Jason Gibson) writes:
: In article <1992Aug27.171916.4654@ra.msstate.edu>, bill@AEC.MsState.Edu (bill balcerzak) writes:
: >
: >If you sprinkle
: >When you tinkle
: >Please be neat
: >And wipe the seat.
: >-- 
: 
A variant:
If you sprinkle
When you tinkle
Be a sweetie
And wipe the seatie
From: ahsen@sbstaff2.cs.sunysb.edu (Ahsen Sabih)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Nursery Rhyme
Date: 2 Sep 92 16:52:57 GMT
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook

In article <1992Sep1.163802.2863@island.COM> kin@island.COM (Kin Blas) writes:
>Don't remember where I heard this one:
>
>Hickory dickory dock
>The mouse ran up the clock
>The clock struck one
>And the mouse got away with minor injuries
>
>
 The version which I read was in MAD and it went like this.

 Hickory dickory dock
 Three mice ran up the clock
 The clock struck one 
 Two got away with minor injuries


>Kin Blas
>kin@island.com


  -ahsen
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
From: bcschu@skws02.monsanto.com (Brett Schultz)
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Organization: Monsanto Company
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 20:43:21 GMT

berne@nova3.stanford.edu (Jean-Francois Berne) writes:
: 
: I believe that telling ethnic jokes should be done only by people
: from the ethnicity being ridiculed. E.g. in France, comedians telling
: jewish jokes are Jews themselves -otherwise they'd quickly end-up
: in front of a court. Also I remenber that at the beginning,
: belgium jokes were told by a Belgian. This guy had found a way to lift
: himself out of anonymity, but actually he very often took polish jokes
: told in America, and replaced "polish" by "belgian".
: 
: Ethnic jokes ARE offensive. They upset the people ridiculed by those
: jokes. Are they really necessary? Do they develop some kind of
: addiction in the joke-teller brain?
: Why not avoid broadcasting them on the net?
: 


Ethnic jokes may be offensive, but so are many other kinds of jokes.
Are you suggesting that blonde jokes only be told by blonds, fat jokes only
by fat people, etc...???

I am sure there is some blonde out there offended by some blonde joke as well
then right??

Where do you draw the line?
From: dsew@troi.cc.rochester.edu (David Sewell)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: American joke
Date: 2 Sep 92 17:30:24 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester Computing Center

This must have been posted to rec.humor sometime but I don't 
remember seeing it in the latest round.  It's the best
of the genre I know.

Q: Why do Americans prefer to make love doggy style?
A: So they can both watch the TV.

[ouch.]
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: palmer2@sscl.uwo.ca (The Econoclast)
Subject: Rule of Thumb
Organization: The Economics Institute for Journalists
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 02:47:40 GMT

	What is the origin of the phrase, "Rule of Thumb"? I've been to
several different libraries researching the origin of "rule of thumb,"
and here's what I've found so far:

Reference #1 says:

	Rule of thumb: used in shoe-fitting. One must be able to fit
one's thumb between the side of the client's heel and the shoe for a
proper fit. Originated by the cobbler, Hans Andresen, in Copenhagen.


#2:
	Devised by the last of the emperors of the holy Roman Empire,
Charlemagne, as a measure of distance. The width of his thumb came to
be a standard measure of length during his regime. Upon his death, his
thumb was coated in platinum and placed on display in the Paris Bueau
of Weights and Measures, where that precise width is now the basis of
the American "inch".


#3:
	The Rule of Thumb orginated under King John in England during
the Crusades. His guards, who were left in England to guard his
country and the women of his crusaders, used the rule of thumb as
follows: The wives of the crusaders were paraded before the menfolk of
the village or town. Any man whose organ then became longer than the
thumb of the guard was immediately consigned to the castralto section
of the choir.


#4:
	The most obscure origin of the rule of thumb is believed to
have lain with the diminutive baker, John Horner, who used his thumb 
to test the adequacies of various plum confections, including Christmas pies.


#5:
	Although Anglos and Judeo-Christians claim originality with
the rule of thumb, recent anthropological studies reveal that the rule
of thumb actually originated with the Samoans and possibly the
forebears of the Micronesians. In these societies, it was traditional
that the males who could best use their thumbs to manipulate the
clitores of the women would become the rulers, hence, "Rule of Thumb".
Men practiced often, and women debated many hours about the practical
standards to be applied in assessing "best."
-- 

  Regards,

  John Palmer      London, Ontario     Voice: (519) 661-3533     FAX: 672-3185
  reply to palmer2@vaxr.sscl.uwo.ca    The Economics Institute for Journalists
  ============================================================================
  The New Economics: Overlapping Generalizations & Rationalized Expectorations
From: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu (lawrence finkel cis stnt)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Fun with cats
Date: 27 Aug 92 18:28:52 GMT
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.

In article <21391@nntp_server.ems.cdc.com> you@ems.cdc.com writes:
>In article <1992Aug26.201939.21922@smartstar.com>, syspb@smartstar.com (Paul) writes:
>|> Try pouring some beer in a saucer, preferably warm beer with lots of fizz.
>|> Your cat will try to drink it.  Watch his reaction.
>|> 
>|> Take 4 baggies and 4 rubber bands.  Put a baggie on each of your cats
>|> paws, and put the rubber band around it to hold it on (not too tight).
>|> When your cat trys to walk it looks pretty funny.
>|> 
>|> Try taking a piece of fish, and putting tabasco sauce or some other
>|> hot sauce on it.  Then when the cat starts begging, give it to him.
>|> 
>|> Another good trick is to get a mousetrap.  Bait the mousetrap with some
>|> tuna, and set it outside.  When a nosey neighbors cat comes along,
>|> he'll get a surprise.
>
>Singer Judd Struk always used cat gut on his guitars for 2 reasons:
>
>1. Love of fine misic.
                    ^
		    |______  I love fine misic too. And fine whine (hic!)
			     Am I wording my slurs. Im not frunk and 
			     thats dinal. Besides I have till sober to 
			     Monday up anyway. I tell yew, I'm not
			      under the affluence of inkahol.
			      Hey, barkeep another round here.
>
>2. Hate of cats.


-- 
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
#                     Lawrence Finkel: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu                 #
#   "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."   #
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cariapa@Tied-House.Stanford.EDU (Sandeep Cariapa)
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Organization: EECF, Stanford University
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 92 23:40:20 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.212559.27584@bnr.ca>, bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash) writes:
	[crap deleted]
|>                 
|> I don't get it.  Where's the joke?
|> 
|> (BTW...most humor comes from the suffering of others)
|> 
|> ObJoke:  Hey, guys! Guess what Woody Allen's next movie is
|>          going to be called!  <click-click> *BANG* thud


	Don't tell me, don't tell me, lemme guess...Honey I screwed the kids? 

Boy that's funny! Har har har har!! *choke*... *sniff*..


-- 
 Sandeep Cariapa, cariapa@eecf.stanford.edu, (415) 723-1004 (work address)
 System programmer, EECF, Stanford University. 
 Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com ("Johnson")
Subject: Re: C Programmers needed
Reply-To: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Wireless Enterprises, Schaumburg, IL
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 22:09:44 GMT

In article <1992Aug20.030842.20273@mongrel.uucp>, amdunn@mongrel.uucp (Andrew M. Dunn) writes:
=) In article <BARR.92Aug18110752@silver.NNTP> barr@silver.NNTP (J. Hunter Barr) writes:
=)>A consulting and solutions enabler firm that helps organizations to
=)>design, build, and and implement networked information systems has two
=)>positions open for C Programmers.  Candidates must have the following:
=)>
=)>    Strong C programming kills (3-6 yrs.)
=) 
=) If it's that lethal, why offer an opening for C programmers?   :-)
=) 
Obviously, because of the high turnover rate.
-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  "Johnson"                              | "                               " |
|  johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com |               -- Marcel Marceau   |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  Disclaimer:  It's just my Tourette's Syndrome acting up again.             |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: SML108@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 28 Aug 92 19:12:12 GMT
Organization: Penn State University

In article <1992Aug28.164326.18511@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>,
marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) says:
>
>"Jesus is hanging on the cross and down below at the bottom
>of the hill, Peter is mourning the loss of their saviour and leader.
>Suddenly he hears a faint voice calling to him..."Peter....Peter"
>and he turns and starts to run up the hill toward Jesus on the cross.
>Before he can get to the top the Roman soldiers shew him away and,
>dejected, he goes back down the hill."
>
>
>I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
                             :Hmmmm... You must be very experienced
                              with filth to know it when you see it,
                              wink wink nudge nudge SAY NO MORE!
>a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
         :like yourself?                         :No wonder you're
                                                  so worried!

>willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
  :Expanding on the above, just what                     :VILE SINNER!
   WOULD you do for a Klondike Bar?

>but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
               :and this is a typo, what's your point?

>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.

Well, first of all, we're very busy have black masses where we sacrifice
missing children to our Sweet Dark Prince...  Second, everyone knows
Jesus rose from the dead so what's the kick?  I mean if you could be
nailed to a tree and know full well you would be resurrected, wouldn't
you do it for kicks too?  If I could do that, I'd even try naked bungee
jumping!  And finally, if you're going to be a total A**H*** and
actually bother to whine about religious jokes, at least pick a funny
one so we can all feel guilty about laughing at it...

Grumpy Old Man
"I HAVE SEEEEEEEENNNNED!"
Xref: sparky rec.humor:27594 alt.politics.clinton:3728 alt.politics.bush:3747
From: prem@prem.lbl.gov (Shirdi R. Prem)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton,alt.politics.bush
Subject: Re: How many Bush Vice-Presidents...
Date: 1 Sep 1992 18:48:18 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory
Distribution: usa
Reply-To: prem@prem.lbl.gov (Shirdi R. Prem)
NNTP-Posting-Host: prem.lbl.gov

In article <17us29INNc7c@early-bird.think.com> dm@think.com (dave mankins) writes:
>
>How many Bush Vice-Presidents does it take to change a lite-bulbe?

	Er...... Twoe ??

	Prem!

  How many Iraqi air force officers does it take to change a light-bulb ??

  -- One, provided he does it while standing between the third and fifth
     steps of his ladder. Or else, the USAF will send in 300 fighters to
     bomb baby-food factories in Baghdad, in order to save the Shi-ites
     who are so beloved to George Bush, especially in an election year....

================================================================================
==  George Bush's New World Order :                                           ==
==	Big white hegemonists beating up little brown hegemonists.            ==
================================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Brian R. O'Hern (BRO'HERN)
Subject: Fat Lady
Followup-To: same
Reply-To: ohernb@lonexb.rl.af.mil
Organization: USAF Rome Laboratory
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 92 11:08:30 GMT
Expires: soon

She was sooo big, before we could hobble:

I had to submerge her in water and look for the bubbles.
         Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. (repeat, I know)
         Yell HELLO! and time the echo.
         Send my dog in after training it with her underwear.


BRO'HERN (Electronics Engineer)
____________________________________________________________________________
           STD DISCLAIM APPLIES ('disClaim dat I make is no lie...)
Unless otherwise noted, I say what I say about what I think or thought with
total disregard for what the U. S. Air Force says or thinks and vice versa.

____________________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cjudd@esk.compserv.utas.edu.au (Craig Thomas Judd)
Subject: Re: Grammar
Organization: University of Tasmania at Launceston
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 92 07:06:30 GMT

In article <!-ln!8#@lynx.unm.edu>, bantolph@carina.unm.edu (Bard's are the Best) writes:
>
>	Tis iz fer al u nurdz hoo, Ar stuk oN; kerrrektin gramir? wId diss
>rtikel yoo kIN hav lotz uv funn: an kerect (stuf untle (yer hartz desir@
>may be wile yer Buzy fiksin thiss u wil leve evry litel misteak Thatt 
>apeerz in odder artikels an stopp ANoyiN de resst uv uss wid yer anel 
>retentiv natur! hOO cars iff sumbudy fergot ann a-postrivfe merk sumware.
>
>
>	IFF ENYBUDY fIKSEZ DIS DEY R HOPLES!

*Ahem*

"This is for all you nerds who are stuck on correcting grammar. With this
article you can have lots of fun and correct stuff to your heart's desire.
Maybe while you're busy fixing this you will leave every little mistake that
appears in other articles, and stop annoying the rest of us with your anal-
retentive nature! Who cares if somebody forgot an apostrophe mark somewhere?


        IF ANYBODY FIXES THIS THEY ARE..."

*Uh... couldn't quite get the last bit...* 

:-)

Yours hopelessly;

-- 
   \/\ "Turn out the lights! Or do you want everyone for miles around to /\/
====\/\      know about our secret base?!" - Colonel, AKIRA Book 2      /\/====
=====\/\  WANT ANY MANGA ARTWORK DONE? Email me! (NO Anthropomorphs!)  /\/=====
      \/\   cjudd@esk.compserv.utas.edu.au      a.k.a. KUROTO Shiro   /\/
From: kkniaz@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Krzysztof W. Kniaz)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish
Subject: Re: POLACK not POLACK funny POLACK
Keywords: Empire Jagiellonian Scandinavian slob smote Shakespeare
Date: 1 Sep 92 14:26:19 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

Could you please look at your headers, before posting polack joke?
Erasing soc.culture.polish from it is so easy!

Thanks



--

Krzysztof Kniaz, University of Pennsylvania | If you can't learn  
Lab for Research on the Structure of Matter | to do it well,
Philadelphia, PA, 19104, USA                | learn to enjoy doing it badly.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN)
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 22:07:00 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.164326.18511@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>, marios@ecs.comm.
mot.com (mario smarduch) writes...
> 
>"Jesus is hanging on the cross and down below at the bottom
>of the hill, Peter is mourning the loss of their saviour and leader.
>Suddenly he hears a faint voice calling to him..."Peter....Peter"
>and he turns and starts to run up.... {rest of Blasphemy [oo-oo, don't
you just LOVE the sound of that word]  deleted to save space}...
> 
>I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
>a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
>willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
>but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.
> 
	Yo, Mario!  Take a valium!  Better yet, take a look at the
name of the newsgroup (rec.humor, not rec.humor.christian).  Do us all
a favor and try to develop a sense of humor before you read it again, 
please
	Say, Mario, I guess you didn't see the joke I posted here about
a month ago.  You're gonna love it.
	Q: How did Jesus get ready for the crucifiction?
	A: By cross-training.
Hope you like it :->
					dylyn

	"Christianity is stupid"---Negativland

 dylyn (aka, d prosser) == S7356911@UCSVAX.UCS.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rp@llex.ll.mit.edu ( Richard Pavelle)
Subject: knock-knock
Originator: rp@llex
Organization: MIT Lincoln Laboratory
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 23:32:56 GMT


Please send a list of these to me. Thanx.
From: speers@opus.mcds.com (Daniel E. Speers)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: The "education"party needs educating!
Keywords: lips, potato, quayle, recession, unemployment, re-election?
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 92 21:13:18 EDT
Organization: Dan's Domain, Randolph, New Jersey

sybok@athena.mit.edu (The Rifleman) writes:

> In article <1992Aug20.183546.28010@smartstar.com> syspb@smartstar.com (Paul) 
> >How can the Republicans call themselves the education party
> >when the Vice President can't even spell 'potato'.

 [ More removed... ]

> >Well George only has 2 months to fix everything it took 4 years to screw
> >up.  He'll have to do some fast talking
> 
> I've seen Clinton's economic plan and . . . you know what?  I think
> he _did_ inhale!

  Picture this:  George Bush sitting in a doctor's office.  Into
                 his left arm is an IV and the on the IV bag is
                 says, "Foreign Policy."  In his right hand is
                 a BIG joint on it's side it says, "Domestic
                 Policy."  Attempting to smoke it, Bush says,
                 "No matter what I do, I just can't seem to inhale."

                 Just to add to the picture, there is a line
                 of people out the door of the doc's office each
                 with a needle that says, "SIG."

......
Please send all complaints to:  complaints@dev.null

All others just post...

Newsgroups: rec.humor