From: bu850@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Karla M. Alwan)
Subject: Re: PBS documentary "Promise Not To Tell"
Reply-To: bu850@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Karla M. Alwan)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 92 20:22:18 GMT


In a previous article, boserj@netcom.com (Jeffrey Boser) says:

>In article <1992Jul28.171039.23690@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> bu850@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Karla M. Alwan) writes:
>>>     Several lawmakers came forth to say they would fight for
>>>stiff penalties for false accusations of child sexual abuse.  In a
>>>poll taken by a TV station, 87% of Utahans agreed this would  be a
>>>good idea.  9% disagreed.  The other 4% were undecided.
>>
>>Oh great!  that's all we need...  more laws to protect the 
>>child abusers.  When the fuck are people gonna wake up and start
>>making laws to protect the abused?!?!?
>
>Karla, it is now common practice in this country for women to accuse
>the fathers of sexual abuse in separation proceedings.  During the
>hate and pain involved in the separation, these accusations ruin
>the relationship of the father with his children, often get the women
>custody, and also hurt the father's relationship with the community.

I think this is very rare.  Far more often, someone that
is guilty, is set free, than someone wrongly convicted.  It is
extremely difficult to fake child abuse.  IMHO it is very rare
that someone is wrongly convicted of child abuse, especially
sexual abuse.  Most of the current laws do far more to protect the 
accused, than the accuser...

>
>Before we strike out from our pain, and declare war on what caused it,
>lets make sure who our enemies are, ok?  False accusations can cause
>alot of damage and pain to those involved.  And I dont like the idea
>of sacrificing our rights in our war against what hurt us.  The
>founding fathers knew that alot of people would get away with some
>terrible crimes because the laws they made...  if we give up that
>burden, all or our lives would be forfeit to others, those claiming
>rape or murder against us, using the law as a weapon.

Maybe some of how I feel is because of what happend to me.  But it
is also because of what I haer happening to others.  The child
abuse in the country is astounding.  Anyone living here ought
to be horrified by it.  Furthermore, I have no intention
of sitting back and saying "we are doing the best we can."  Because
we aren't.  We are never doing the best we can until child abuse
is at a minimum.

>
>The same laws that protect others protect you.  How would you feel
>if some neighborhood kid decided to deny is father abused him and
>claimed *you* did it.  Assuming innocence is the only thing that
>keeps others from taking your kids away, from taking our house away,
>from killing us or locking us up.  And we have been slowly giving
>up that right because we are afraid of drugs, because we are afraid
>of guns..  People who want this say:  'so?  The world is a safer place
>because of it'...   I ask if we get the rights back after the war
>is over, after we are safe again.  The war never ends.  We are never
>safe.

It would be difficult to prove I had abused I child I didn't know.
I think it is very difficult to convict someone innocent...

>
>There is no world where people dont hurt one another.  There is no world
>where fathers dont rape their baby daughters, where mothers dont hit and strike
>their children into silence..  however much we want that love, that peace,
>from the world, it will never come.  The only thing we can do is bind
>those we love to us, hold them in our arms and hope the world never comes
>between us, while knowing that nothing lasts forever.  Its a hard thing
>to face, reality is.  And you cannot help but cry if you see it, the
>pain it brings...  but it is painfully and sadly beautiful, and occassionaly
>something happens, like a friend, or love, that makes it worth while.

Granted, there will always be child abuse.  That doesn't mean I have to
like it.  Child abuse could be a lot less than it is.  It doesn't have
to be as bad as it is.  All I am saying is that we (through the law)
make an attempt to slow it down a little, rather than worrying about 
speeding it up too much...

>
>
>.....jeff
><warm embraces for those who need them>
>

-- 
|alwan573@pirates.armstrong.edu   <=== USE THIS ONE!          
|Karla.Alwan@lambada.oit.unc.edu             |
|ng548@dsom_op.pnl.gov                       |
|bu850@cwns16.ins.cwru.edu                   |
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery,alt.support,soc.women