From: ender@uunet.uu.net (Pete Walsh)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Space Cadets episode 8 [LOOOONG... sorry!]
Date: 30 Sep 1992 03:22:50 -0400
Organization: UUNET Technologies Inc, Falls Church, VA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: rodan.uu.net


I apologize for the length of this...  but a writer's gotta write!



Spaaaaaaaaaace Cadets, episode #8:  "Clone Encounters for the Third Time"

{Dohram and I worked through the night on our little AI project, learning
 quite a bit about the flounders of Nymph.}

"MROC!"

{Er, the FOUNDERS of Nymph.  We were still working the next morning when a
 bleary eyed Ender came into the lab...}

===============================================================================

D:  Uh, in your condition I suggest you stay in the gravity field, Ender.
    Zero-gee and hangovers don't mix well.

MROC:  Kids, don't drink and float...  vomit gobs are...

D:  Shut it bit-brain!

E:  I had a thought...

MROC:  Be gentle with it, it's in a strange and alien place...

E:  Very funny.  Who's the model for your humour, or lack thereof, modules?
    Emo?  Dice?  Gallagher?

D:  Actually, I think he gets most of it from you...

E:  Oh.  *ahem*  Anyway, MROC, what's the progress report on the arrest of
    my clones?

MROC:  Scanning...  Reports say they have all been arrested and are being held
       at the Nymph Institution for Correction and Education of Anti-Social
       Seditionists.

D & E [aside to "audience"]:  N.I.C.E. A.S.S.?!?!

E:  Hmmmmm...  They're ALL being held there?

MROC:  Yes.  Apparently there's a whole wing given over to them.  There was
       plenty of space.  Crime seems to be rare on Nymph.  In fact N.I.C.E.
       A.S.S. is the only correctional facility on the planet.

E:  Well, that'll make things a bit easier then...

D:  Uh oh.  I've seen that gleam in your eye before.  WHAT are you plotting?

E:  Well, MROC will have to do most of the preliminary work, but here's
    my idea...

===============================================================================

{I went to work on Ender's idea as soon as each new facet became clear, or
 at least less murky.  I was still working on the flound... er, founders
 as well, thanx to my incredible multi-processing capabilites (what Ender
 often refered to as WaCkyBOS, or WCBOS - Walk and Chew Bubblegum [at the
 same time] Operating System).  Dohram and Ender were still plotting
 when I chimed in...}

MROC:  I've done the impossible!

E:  A funny Gallagher routine?

D:  Found a way to boil toast?

MROC:  No!  Found out how to carry out Ender's plan, find out about the
       founders of Nymph, AND solve the problem of the clones!

E & D:  HOW?!

MROC:  Simple.  With a time machine we...

E:  Time machine?!

D:  We don't have a time machine.  NOBODY has a time machine!

MROC:  Shush.  Listen, let's SUPPOSE we had a time machine, okay?  We take
       this supposed time machine and we sneak it in to N.I.C.E.A.S.S.

D:  Sneak a time machine into a PRISON?!

MROC:  Well, let's SUPPOSE that we could.  We give it to the clones and
       tell them to set it for, let's say two minutes from now, and that
       it should put them in this here hangar.

E & D:  You gotta be kidding!!

MROC:  Well, if we SUPPOSE all of that then, in two minutes we should
       have two hundred Ender's knocking on our door.  We then tell them
       that in return for their continued freedom and life they must 
       use the time machine to spread themselves out over the history of
       Nymph and discover its founders.  We won't tell them that Ender
       intended to spring them all along because he couldn't bear to 
       consider 200 people just like him spending the rest of their lives
       in prison, and that considering having them killed off was worse.
       Whaddaya think, sirs?				<-(get it Dohram? =)

D:  I better start running a few diagnostics on MROC, Ender.  I think he's
    slipped a disc somewhere or something.

E:  You said it pink boy!  He's seriously nuts!  Why the very idea that...
    Wait...  do you here knocking?

D:  Yeah...  sounds like it's coming from the airlock...  do you think...

E:  No way!  It's probably just the girls...

D:  Yeah!  I mean, if it was 200 clones of you they'd know the access code
    and wouldn't have to...

[a faint swooshing sound is heard...  almost like air being cycled through
 an airlock]

MROC:  The clones have arrived.

E:  Coincidence...  right?

D:  Yeah...  they freed themselves and headed here...  naturally.

Clones of Ender:  Greetings!

E:  Geez!  Not so friggin LOUD...  there ARE 200 of you, you know!!

CoE:  200 of YOU/US you mean.

E:  Whatever.

D:  I suppose you came here by time machine right?  *snicker*

CoE:  Of course...  thanx by the way, your better at inventing than I/We
      thought!  [turning to Ender, the Original]  And thanx for springing us
      we KNEW you wouldn't let us rot.

E:  You'd do the same for me.

CoE: Of course.

MROC:  Gentlemen, and I use the term loosely...

E, D, & CoE:  Good.  We're loose gentlemen.

MROC:  Ahem.  Be that as it may, we need you to do something, as a recompense
       for our efforts to free you and for your continuing survival...

CoE:  Sorry to interrupt, you overblown HP-11C, but we already did that
      boppin' through history jag.  We just came to report before we head
      back to the Founder's Party and get out of your hair permanently.

E & D:  You already did all that?

CoE:  Yeah, thanx to Dohram's time machine.

MROC:  So who is/are the founder(s)?

CoE [chuckling]:  Ender is.

E & D:  HUH?!  

CoE: It's a very long story, mostly boring, but this period of time is its
     nexus.  To sum up, we've all been through this time loop several times
     previously, only we Clones of Ender can remember it, being tied to the
     loop.  We, all of us Clones, Ender the Original, Dohram, etc., couldn't
     find a solution.  Ender the O. got really frustrated and smashed the time
     machine to break the loop.  When that happened we arrived with another
     time machine and another loop began.  Then Ender stole our time machine
     and went far back in time.  There he discovered another Ender the Original
     who also had  stolen a time machine from us on another loop.  Now we have
     a nearly inifinite number of Clones and Originals (yes, multiple
     Originals) tramping about the timescape, but these two Originals find
     out a truly interesting piece of information.  Dohram and Ender are
     originally from Terra circa the 20th century... or should I say, they
     WILL be...

E, D, MROC:  HUH?!  *WILL* BE?!

CoE:  Yes,  time isn't linear... it's more like a bowl of Jell-O, but we 
      digress.  Anyway, these two Originals return to 20th century Terra,
      disguise themselves and rendevous with Ender and Dohram.  The REALEST
      of the REAL Ender and Dohram.  Over the years the maintain a tenuous
      contact with the two and also slowly introduce higher and higher
      technology to the world, with Dohram as own of the principle movers
      and shakers in hi-tech.  They appeal to Ender's adventurous side and
      convince him to join the pioneer movement.  After a particularly
      bad spat with a female co-worker he jumps the gun a bit, steals a
      colony ship currently being used as a movie set and heads for the
      stars...  with several stars trapped on board...  together they found
      Nymph.

E:  Unbelievable!

D:  Impossible!

MROC:  Presumably these movie stars are the root ancestors of todays clone
       population on Nymph?

CoE:  Correct.

MROC:  Two questions then.  If Ender was a founder, why no clones of him?
       And how did this resolve the time loops?

CoE:  Ender was long gone before the cloning had to start.  He disappeared with
      one of the actresses.  She eventually returned, but wouldn't speak of
      Ender's whereabouts.  As for the loops, they began collapsing as soon
      as we found out that Ender founded Nymph, when we return to the party
      they will have all collapsed.  Time will be whole once again.

E:  But...  But...  But... uh, if you're at the Founder's Party won't that
    screw things up?  I mean...  originally wasn't the REAL Original Ender
    the only Ender there?

CoE:  You misunderstand...  we're not going to the FOUNDING Party.  We're going
      to the FOUNDER'S Party.  It's about 12 billion years from now, when 
      Ender the Founder returns from his sabatical with the actress he left
      with and we find out that the actress that returned to Nymph wasn't
      really...

D:  Enough!  Just get!  Leave!  MAN HAVE I GOT A HEADACHE!

E:  Glah!

Kathy [entering with Andrea]:  Why does he always say that when I show up?!

CoE:  Goodbye!

[The 200 Clones of Ender slowly wink out of existence]

===============================================================================
  Confused yet?  No?  Then stay tooned for the next exciting episode of:


SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEE  CCCCCAAAADDDEEEETTTSSSS!!!!



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