From: smithm@columbia.dsu.edu (Matthew P. Smith)
Subject: Book of Emotion
Organization: Dakota State University
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 20:27:32 GMT



Lovers

no one to hold
when I'm sad and alone
no one to care
when I'm on my own
no one to love me
but as I have been shown;
life is for lovers
who talk on the phone
walk with each other
and are never alone
that speak to each other
in a soft, tender tone
whose hearts are now sand
though they may once have been stone
and through each other
they both will have grown;
now gently, softly
turn to her
and let her know
just how much
you truly love her.
-mps



As Before

dreams erupt
on the moment
past experience
all forgotten
has this happened
illusory vision
evading my eyes
that I may see
everything
meaning something to me
distances dim
I grow fatigued
darkness closes in
all that is left
solitary illsion?
no, I gaze in your eyes
nothing left
nothing more
but You
my Heart
and the world as before
-mps



Years Together

you are more than just a woman
you are a lady and a friend
and when our time is almost gone
I will turn and say to you;
 "You are all I have in this life
  And all I want in the next
  All our years have slipped away
  And our memories have all been spent,
  You and I, we are one of a kind
  And we will never part,
  Because, baby, You know, You and I,
  We are joined at the heart."
-mps



My Garden

'round and 'round my heart is pounding
soaking warmth, soaking heat
spinning, spinning, I am falling
falling heart over heels for you
maddening race for time and pleasure
mad are they that seek that kind
blessed am I, for I am falling
cursed am I for falling blind
given heart and hand and mouth
time is but a weeded garden
bearing ever fruitless harvests
growing weeds that choke out light
I'm a harvester searching for fruit
mournful am I at this barren soil
is this not the ground on which I did toil?
and I leave empty-handed and sad
returneth I the very next day
with garden hoe in patient hands
dismayed am I at the sight I ponder
one plot of earth took on infinite spans
-mps



Answer My Glances -- song by mps

when the night comes alone to haunt me
thoughts of you pervade my soul
and when the morning just cannot forget me
well, honey, you are all my thoughts know
and when noontide comes, and I'm out in the sun
your face is all I can recall
oh, well, it's easy to see
just what you mean to me
but, darlin', I need a reason to fall

(chorus:)
babe won't you answer my glances
please give me a reason to love
smile at me, I hate taking chances
I need you to give me a shove
tell me what you'd want from me
I'll give it to you, just you wait and see
I can be anything you want me to be
sweetheart, all I'll ask of you is your love

time explodes tonight in my eyes
I can hear it saying goodbye
I just can't sleep, for this insatiable need
I'm too shy to ask you, but I don't know why
and when dawn approaches the edge of my mind
my eyes have not closed but have cried
and when I see you, I know it is true
'cause when I leave you I have died

-chorus-

...what I want from you is your...
love



Now, Soon

the night passes over
longing to die
as the sun rises
to reach for the sky
and the moon's demise
in the cold fall air
looking to find  me
but I am nowhere
for I'm stuck alone in the night
I gave up without even a fight
and if you think I will I just might
but as for now the time isn't right
consider all I say and do
consider what I might feel
think of me when the moon's in your eyes
for when you think of me I am real
just how can you go on; day in, day out
when I'm all alone in my room
for I cannot think of me without you
I need to be with you, now, soon
...
where can I go when the lights are down low
and the lovers play games in the dark
what will I see, now that you're all I need
walking alone at night in the park
what can I do now that I'm turning blue
you're invisioned in all of my dreams
I keep dreaming that you will notice me too
this sleepless burden is more than it seems
...
Oh, but I wish the time was now right...
-mps



Faces

newer worlds, newer sorrows
fewer todays, less tomorrows
luck and time roll right on past
as if my past wasn't ever really there
winter lags, northwinds blow
empty footprints in drifting snow
curious longing in the deepest of shadows
I'm always there where nobody knows
burning the pages of a calendar
like a cedarwood fire
smell how sweet
like a woman's desire
do I look that pitious
like a rogue in the morn
a book full of precious pages torn
or are they, too, being burnt in the fire
a yellowing fire
bent on time the aging require
of an elderly scholar,
a strapping young squire?
...
I count my moods to match my faces
one for each day of the year
one for each person I see
but which of those are we?
I see many things
out of many eyes
through so many tears
and through other's lies
in whose heart is fate
to one fate does ignore
I don't know
but the eyes tell the lore
enter oneself
in a sheepish disguise
and tumble the walls
and those lonely old lies
then conquer yourself
it is then you will find
that with out a true love
you'll have your heart on your mind
your eyes are tender and your faces are lined.
-mps



The Promise Land

I walk alone in the night
the night is all I've ever had
the wind against me
it sings me to sleep
I ride alone in the world
aback my insights and my poems
my hurts compel me
my sorrows dispel me
unattached and unafraid
gaining ground while losing life
no common bond shared with another
no family to speak of 'til I'm in my grave
and all the while the moon shines
casting luminous spells
and enchanting dreams
that etch my soul and spark my fires
and shine forth arrays intense with desires
marking its prey and savor the urge
but dreams cannot ease the longing surge
the stars burst forth with a sparkle of life
I reach out to grasp it, to cease my strife
intangible needs, the spur of the moment
the waning will sings in utter despair
and cannot remit this suffocating air
I fear no mortal but one man's potential
I fear my own for it defies my grasp
to single it out and release my tension
roads come to an end and I'm out of time
I need someone to walk with, to hold my hand
and cross me over the bridge to the promise land.
-mps



(untitled)

I love you
though I did not act so
unbelievable to me
that I could mistreat you so
sticking the dullest of knives
into the dullest of lives
my heart afire
with pain and desire
I know now
for now I see
you are all
there is for me
everyone I've ever wanted
everything I've ever needed
and I ignored you, left you be
though your eyes pleaded
what a fool! a royal fool!
I threw it all away
my very last chance
to find romance
and now it's dusking day
the clouds overhead
rebuke me bitterly
contemplating my only choice
the rains come
my heart adrum
I long to hear your voice
like an angel, the truth rings clear
commit the sin, the tides roll in
now I can never have her near
I took that route, the tides roll out
and the wind stills
as the moon beams through the clouds
and shines a single point of light upon me
the stars remain hidden
yet the air smells sweet
dispelling the notion of winter aloof
and a single raindrop falls
into the palm of my hand
tasting it I find it salty
and I could swear it:
I hear weeping in the distance
I woman's voice
lone and low
it burdens my heart
saddens my soul
but for a second
then sweeping the voice away
a gale wind blows anew
with the anger and vigor
of a sorrowful man
whose deeds none know
but for he
and the night becomes forever
entombing me with his knowledge
and his identity
and his sorrow and torment
woe to he, woe to me!
for now hell is upon us
with pulsating wrath
an ire inspired by pain
and lost chances
and lost hopes...
-mps



No Wind In Sail

rounding corners in my life
losing, leaving, all behind
knowing I'm not young forever
all the same just wasting time
second fiddle to the best
I'm so fed up with losing ground
deep inside I am betrayed
inhibition floating 'round
I cannot sleep, I cannot eat
I cannot think so thick the shroud
how lost can I be in my need
how thick and black, surrounding cloud
protective walls raised in defense
noone knocks 'cause I'm not in
to break the walls and jump the fence
There is no end without begin,
No wind in sail, nor love to win.
-mps



Nobody Knows

warmed by the air
I shiver with cold
reminders of care
those my heart sold
I shiver again
though heat surrounds
with absense I pray
with cold in my eyes
and loverless praise that brought my demise
how cold can it be
astounding surprise
wrought full of cheers, resounding replies
to awake and I find
alone in my room
the fire won't mind
the tormenting gloom
it lashes a finger
a jab at my pain
the cold will win out
enforcing its game
and cheerful voice tense
with lonely old lies
will scream with the wind
release my disguise
forget what I will
that haunts my repose
ask who has ears...
but nobody knows.
-mps



Who Will It Be

now comes the point in my life
I grope and grasp as darkness surrounds
I cannot eat and, oh, I can't sleep
and this feeling I hide abounds
sleepless days and dreary nights
things are first sharp and then dull
the torrential sea overwhelms my ship
for I have a cracked and worn hull
sinking quickly into the myre
that drags my heart into hell
a voice cries out "a fire! a fire!"
and all that I've left is a shell
this ruinous game that I always play
is driving me slowly mad
and I find myself alone in my room
wishing I wasn't so sad
how and when do I overcome
my stuttering lips and heart beating drum
my absence of words, my bad social grace
my falseness, my hurt, my needed embrace
how will I know when to take the chance
that everything gamble that leads to romance
who will it be to ease my pain
who will let me in from the rain?
-mps



Come To Me

 Part I
carressing you,
slow, gentle hand,
can you feel it
on your skin?
in your eyes
deep and lovely
hidden passions
hidden prayers
are you too cold
to feel my warm breath,
on your face,
on your neck?
secret excitement
welling from within
bursting forth
from a world of sound
but only silence
is to be found;

 Part II
singing in chorus
the voices astound
beautiful sky
the heat all around
one hundred degrees
from light to dark
bold, joyous journey
on which I embark
valleys and rivers
that never run dry
sweet mountain peaks
that reach for the sky
thick is the forest
in the warm, moist dell
attempting to conquer
the mountainous swell
heaving our sighs
we collapse from exhaustion
I call for her eyes
those liquid blue pools
and gaze there for hours;
my sleepless passion.
-mps



We'd Never Part

I look for a friend
fabled to care
a lovely young maiden
to soothe my longing
intense and desirous
I lose my apathy
compassion is warmth
to belong to my epitaph (sp?)
a legacy I leave
of unfullfilled dreams
desires amid
an icy planet
of cold, lonely souls
who care of their pain
and reach for a star
but burn a lost hand
and cry for its worth
such lonely worth
that I could restore
and I alone
by losing the hand
that I've never shown
and sharing to me
in turn will replace
with gentle recourse
a beautiful face
and unfading smile
to sweeten my heart
making life so worthwhile
that we'd never part.
-mps



Papers

I spout like a fountain
rhymes from a mountain
words so uncertain
as I draw the curtain
is this my destiny
not what I long to be
papers, my company
replace who I want with me
emotions written down
in a room without sound
staring agelessly at the clock
ignoring every knock
releasing words of glory
redeaming my own story
venting off my deepest fears
letting go of relentless tears
papers of pain, papers of dreams,
papers of sorrow worse than it seems,
papers are plenty, mountains that grew,
papers to Burn, but lovers are few...
-mps



You! You!

Fast! Fast! the waking hour
coming fast upon my mind
taking me off of my tower
and leaving me so far behind

Soon! Soon! it's coming near
it's coming fast, it's coming here
to take your eyes from my sight
to exhaust me and take my might

Dim! Dim! it's fading gray
it's breaking up, it's going away
it's driving me out of my mind
It's making you so hard to find

Help! Help! I'm going blind
I've lost my sight to my grief
the darkest night left me behind
and torments me without relief

What! What! what can I do
I'm turning color, I'm turning blue
what happens so to make me die?
Why do you leave? please, tell me why!

Gone! Gone! I hear it none
a heart so vibrant, a heart so clear
has gone away, left me alone
has gone away, just disappear

Now! Now! the time is now
to bring you back, bring my heart too
I wish I could; I don't know how
but I believe, I believe you do.
-mps



Fool

I wanted to ask you
but I sat there a fool
anxious and nervous
but playing it cool
how could I help it
my heart in my throat
you in your castle
and I in your moat
"Repunzal!" I cried
"Please, let down your hair"
but you couldn't hear me
my lungs held no air
silently drowning
my song had no note
with you in your castle
and I in your moat
I swam to the surface
and looked into the air
but only to find
you were no longer there
I should have swam sooner
out of that pool
but now I'll sit here forever
I'll sit here the fool
-mps