HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: A slight objection (Re: some more things that MYG Hmmmm...)
Date: 14 Aug 92 18:26:50 GMT
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera

In article <1992Aug06.131925.5017@openage.openage.com>, gryphon@openage.openage.com (The Golden Gryphon) writes:
>>		The dark elf finally digs himself out of the gimungous
>>	peanut pile.  After dusting himself off, he looks over the new
>>	list that has started on the chalkboard.
>
>>		"What if the Big One had sunk California in 1848?"
>
>The Golden Gryphon speaks up, "I feel I must raise an objection to this. I'm
>not a geologist, but I've watched a lot of PBS.  The continent California is
>on is moving North East, and the continental US (Nevada and East) is moving
>West!  This means that everything EAST of the San Andres (sp?) Fault will
>eventually plunge into the Pacific Ocean!!!  If anything the next 'Big One'
>will bring more of the continent to the surface, making the california
>beaches bigger."

Er, actually, if you want to know which way California west of the San Andreas
Fault is moving, there's a song you ought to listen to.  StM places a call to
Radio Free Colorado, and see we hear the song "North to Alaska."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Huh? who are these people? Did someone say something?
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 01:34:23 GMT

Danger Mouse does _not_ hear Stranger-No-More's request for a description.

"Say, S-N-M, are you sure you set your post distribution to 'world' when
you posted your introduction? A lot of us folks live in some pretty weird
places!

"But anyway, I can see what you are after, and I shall deliver as soon as
I grumble about the slowness of my newsfeed. Only today has my machine
decided to grab all of the posts from the past three days. And it hasn't
bothered to grab them in the right order, either - which has severely
shaken my faith in causality. :-) It's not easy reading twenty replies
to a convoluted thread in random order before seeing the original post!

"Anyway, for your edification, S-N-M, my RL name is David Mar, and I am
a PhD student in astrophysics at the University of Sydney, Australia. I
have lived in Sydney all my life, and am quick to point out its inherent
superiority to all other places. :-) I am 183 cm tall and a little over
80 kg, with straight black hair, brown eyes, and somewhat tanned skin.
A lot of that physical make-up comes from my Chinese father, but most
people seem to place me as southern European (for reasons I don't really
understand).

"My VR persona goes by the name of Danger Mouse, chosen merely because
the cartoon character's initials are the same as mine. Some people call
me that in RL, and quite a few use DM to address me. I have never
described my VR appearance in all the 16-odd months I've been here,
prefering to leave that up to the imaginations of the patrons. I would
tell you how _I_ imagine myself appearing, but that would spoil it. :-)
My preference for drinks changes a lot, but is always non-alcoholic.
My personality here is basically the same as in RL.

"I think that about does it. Now, if this silly machine will just keep
receiving new posts at a reasonable rate..."

- Danger Mouse.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: bsackste@AFIT.AF.MIL (Bernadette M. Sacksteder)
Subject: The New Kid
Organization: Air Force Institue of Technology, WPAFB OH
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 12:37:39 GMT

The New Kid steps up to the bar and clears her throat for attention. Silence 
falls and she coughs slightly before beginning. 
"Ahem. Um, I know I haven't been here very long, and I wish things were 
different with all my heart, but I have to leave again. You see, the summer 
job that gave me net access is ending and with it I go back to indefinite 
lurking. It's been great being here, and I'll miss all of you VERY much. My 
peanut-throwing skills have never been better. :-) But, this, however, is 
how it goes, and, well... I guess what I'm trying to say is good-bye and I'
ll miss you and I'll be back as soon as I possibly can. Until then, for my 
last toast...

To Friends and Places To Meet Them In, and most especially, TO MIKE!"

Gulp! Crash, Bash, Bang, New level of broken shards in the fireplace. The 
New Kid bows and heads off into the darkness of the back of the room. 

P.S. If anyone wants to stay in touch they could e-mail me and I'd be glad 
to give them my snailmail address...
From: jim@oasis.icl.co.uk (Jim Cheetham x3121)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Wumpish Naming Competition
Date: 13 Aug 92 09:12:25 GMT


From Kimberley MonTemplar came ...
>
>The Wumpus writes:
>>    "Names for baby Software
>> ...
>> CID "Sid" Customer Interaction Database
>> SINNER Simple Interactive Novell Network Enquiry and Request system
>> CUJO Customer/User Job Organisation
>> DRAT Dynamic Request Access and Tracking
>  CHUND Combined Helpline/User Needs Database
>  PHONE Phone Help/Other Needs Enquiries
>  ORACLE Oh Rats! A Customer's Looooong Enquiry
>  HYACINTH Help! It's Another Customer In Need of Techincal Hand-holding!
> ...
> Lessee... ODC (Out Damn Customer!) is out, cos I seem to remember that's
> already used somewhere else in ICL :-)

	Indeed it is - an add-on tool to the OFFICEPOWER software, by the
	name of Officepower Document Converters (and oddly enough, the
	only part of the software that lets you delete more than one file
	at a time ... go figure ... convert your documents to heat elements
	feeding out of the fan into the entropic bit bucket ...)

	Actually, HYACINTH went down quite well, but we couldn't tell
	users (oops, customers, must be Politically Correct ...) what
	it stands for! (If it stands for nothing, it must fall for
	everything ...)

	PHONE smacks of being GNUishly self-referential ... nice ...

	Any more offers? Or are you going to let Kimberley win ?
-- 
-jim cheetham  <jim@oasis.icl.co.uk> or  <J.Cheetham@bra0116.wins.icl.co.uk>
 International Computers Ltd. ICL BRA01 +44 344 424842 x3121 (ITN 7263 3121)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite)
Subject: The Hay Ride Continues - Part Three!
Originator: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 17:31:22 GMT

----<--<@

The orange and maroon wavy striped road zig-zags its way along in a
curiously uninhibited fashion ... merrily zigging between woodlands of 
oak, pine, banksias, maples, redwoods, apple, and cherry trees, 
while zagging beside corn and golden wheat fields!  (Is that actually
possible?  Only in VR!)  Not only that, but the lane is almost jouncier 
than the wagons themselves as it dips into hollows and climbs up hilly 
mounds.  In fact, some of our company are beginning to enquire as to the 
availability of motion sickness remedies when suddenly:

"Hey, everyone!  We have arrived!" announces Nathan, who has been
keeping a very sharp look-out, and who for once has managed to upstage
the -Sprite!

And, sure enough, there before them, rising high upon its promontory,
is a castle of immense proportions and sparkling intensity, a banner
or flag flying from every turret and rampart!

Immediately in front of the travellers is spread a/the field of
honour, ringed about by booths and tents in multi-hued canvas and
vavious other materials, all with noisy signs and placards proclaiming
the wonders to be found within.

But before the patrons can find a place to park, there is the gate,
and ticket sellers to be negotiated!

Double stone turrets rise majestically on either side of the road
with a large, imposing lattice-work gate barring the way.  Some-
how, however, all worries about gaining entry dissolve as the
banner hanging between the turrets sings out:

	   "Welcome to the Didi-Sprite and her Party!
            On this most Auspicious Thursday, August
	    13th ... And, a Very Happy Birthday to 

			  BRANDON 

            in whose Honour we are Holding this Faire!"



And the double gate swings open allowing all the wagons to pass 
through without paying a single pittance!

----<--<@

Happy Birthday Brandon!
You knew I would get to this
eventually, didn't you?

Here is a special Birthday << HUG!!! >> just for you!

----<--<@

The Didi-Sprite
Montreal * Canada

braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca

Brandon = allbery@NCoast.ORG

----<--<@
From: lower-tony@CS.YALE.EDU (Tony Lower)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Oh, pun! season
Date: 12 Aug 92 16:34:19 GMT
Organization: Yale University Computer Science Dept., New Haven, CT 06520-2158



   Manx's eyes narrow very slightly as he comprehends the fact that
the Doctor has issued as much as a formal challenge.  His right hand
twitches near his hip in an ancient gun-fighter reflex.  After a
moment of tension, he relaxes and signals confidently for a ginger
ale.

   "Ah, Doctor, so sorry to be tardis in my response.  First off, I
am not now, nor have I ever been a cat.  I've gotten LOTS of puns
about that.  The first few were just f'line, but I've been getting
them in spades, and I'd really like to see the problem fixed before
it starts to litter my reading.  AS(cii) to your puns, I can see
that you're a man of letters, and one of great character besides,
and I simply advoraked your key-n wit, but I did object to delete-ll
fact that you keyboard-ering us to laugh at your puns."  At this
point, Mike hands Manx his ginger ale.  "Thanks Mike, put it on my
tab and I'll return to pay it later.  You know I'm not the shifty kind
of fellow who would try to feed you a line."

   Manx takes a sip, then picks up his subject again "If the puns are
good, YOU shouldn't have to provide (and I quote) 'Sounds of gagging,
dismay and breaking glasses'.  We'll do that for you.  Zounds, those
sounds are our way of showing we liked the pun!  Providing your own
responses takes all the spice out of the puns, and wastes thyme
besides; we'll decide whether you've done enough tumeric our groans.
I guarantee, if you think of an oregano-ll pun, Callahans Basil be
quick to provide the praise you've got cumin."

   Manx finishes off the ginger ale and sits back with a luxurious
stretch of his back.  "This all reminds me of a little town in Italy.
Every time someone did something very good for the town, they would
ring the church bell just for them.  Finally, they realized that the
person who was doing the most good was the bell-ringer, for making
everyone feel good about themselves.  They decided he deserved a
special bell-ringing just for him.  So they told him, of course..."

   Manx hefts the glass in his hand and pauses dramatically.

   "Musician, peal thyself!"

	>CRASH<
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Quote Happens [Time]
From: jwwalden@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu (P'relan)
Date: 20 Aug 92 10:41:15 -0500
Organization: Dept. of Physics

In article <9208181842.AA07420@yrloc.ipsa.reuter.COM>, dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.com (Gillett, David) writes:
>     When Thoreau was writing, it was still almost practical for a family farm
>   to support itself, almost totally independent of society, of barter or trade.
>   But his friend clearly demonstrates that an illusion of dependence *within*
>   the web of society and economy had already emerged.
>     This is where I disagree with the most rabid net.libertarians.  Their
>   concept of independence and individual liberty is based on outright denial
>   of the web of society and economy.  It may still be *possible* to live in
>   America outside of this web, but I wouldn't call it *practical*, and I sure
>   wouldn't agree that anyone with net.access *is* living outside the web!

Well, my father lived on his grandparent's farm in Tennessee in the 30's and
40's and they weren't that much of a part of the web you're talking about. 
Certainly they couldn't produce absolutely everything - glass and metal to work
are some examples of that - but most other items were produced, consumed, and
reused there without much interaction.  Certainly it wasn't total independence,
but probably about as much as Thoreau had when he was writing (though these
weren't my great-grandparents on the Walden side of my family :-).  And no,
it's not something I'd do myself...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 P'relan (and Birith)      	   ``Time stand still -
 jwwalden@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu      I'm not looking back -
  or jwwalden@miavx1.bitnet	     But I want to look around me now.'' - RUSH
From: mbr2@quads.uchicago.edu (Curious Of All Natures)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: who are these folks?
Date: 17 Aug 92 19:33:09 GMT
Reply-To: mbr2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: Universtiy of Chicago

Stranger-No-More finishes scribbling down Mort's vital stats, flips...
and is startled to find that the next page of his scratchpad has
already been filled.  It reads:


Curious Of All Natures, aka COAN, Matt Ryan

Patron of Callahan's since November '91.  He is a full felimorph,
entirely comfortable existing around as either a pony-tailed
philosophy major or a grey undescribably-patterned cat or anywhere in
between, often inadvertantly.  COAN doesn't realize that he's usually
described from prespective more scient than himself.  But the owner of
said perspective identifies with COAN completely.

Recently, after grappling with the inherent difficulties of
communicating important ideas directly through ASCII, COAN has been
curled up on an X-windowsill while indirect communications happen
around him.  It's hard to get what he's trying to say since then, but
this is as it should be, since it's always hard to get the important
things people say, and if one uses direct language folks often think
they've got it figured out pretty easily.

Current puzzles: searching for a self-affirming direction to take my
life after spring '93 graduation; unlearning an overly paternal
behavior pattern toward friends; figuring out what to learn in its
place; trying to teach myself how to be more affectionate in friend-
ships without causing confusion and misunderstanding; searching for
ways to give folks about whom I care more power over their own lives.

Current solutions: take classes I enjoy, pay attention on many levels,
risk mistakes, confuse and intrigue people, collect quotes, allow
myself the eternal transitional state of not-knowing-answers, hang out
with folks in a certain bar, and nourish my wisdom and curiosity on
both their own grapplings with life and their welcome responses to my
thoughts.


Matt Ryan,
lover of questions, questioner of traditions, untraditional of loves,
mb-ryan@uchicago.edu                Curious Of All Natures
==================================  ====================================
If I'm dreaming, never let me wake. You'll never see the end of the road
If I'm awake, never let me sleep.   When you're traveling with me.
               -old chinese fellow                        -Crowded House
==================================  ====================================
From: /G=Rhodri/S=James/O=SJ-Research/ADMD=INTERSPAN/C=GB/@MHS-RELAY.AC.UK
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: What a concert!
Date: 21 Aug 92 14:34:11 GMT

Windsinger and the Parrot listen to DM's enthusiastic concert review from
the quiet corner they have been secluded in for some weeks now, buried under
a deluge of work.

>"I took Stumpy's advice and went to see The National Youth Choir of Great
>Britain last night. They performed in concert with the Sydney Philharmonia
>(Australia's leading choir) and the Sydney Male Choir, and they absolutely
>blew them away! Mere words are not adequate to describe how wonderful the
>Youth Choir were!

  <<Have you ever heard the National Youth Choir?>> Windsinger asks.

  {{...then the V flag will be set and the C flag clear, and we don't care
about that register... pardon?}}

  <<Have you ever heard the National Youth Choir?>>

  {{Yes, they're quite good.  Better than some bunch of Aussies, anyway.
Oops, did I say that?}}

  They listen to the concert programme, indulging in happy memories over the
German Magnificat and Short People, ({{You've got a four-part arrangement
as well, haven't you...?}}) and having a brief allergic reaction to
Lloyd-Webber.  And then...

>                                         And then for the finale, all
>three choirs got on stage together to do _Zadok's_Prayer_ (or was it
>_Priest_Zadok_? something like that) by Handel, followed by the
>_Hallelujah_Chorus_ from _Messiah_.

  <<Wow!  A triple-force version of Zadok the Priest!  Real blow your ears
off stuff.>>  They launch into a passable imitation of the orchestrial
introduction, before realising that people are staring at them.  <<The one
and only piece of coronation music.  It's very... effective.>>

  {{Oh come on, "I was glad", the *other* piece of coronation music.}}

  <<Oh yes, how could I forget it.>>

  The parrot rumages around, produces a book entitled "Full Swell" and turns
to the glossary.  {{Zadok the Priest:  "Zadok the Priest!  For the first
time I get that introduction right AND YOU DON't COME IN!!!!!"}}

  <<Thanks for the review, DM, I will go and see the Youth Choir once
they're back.>>


                        Zadok the Priest and Nathan the Prophet
                        annointed Solomon king.  And all the people
                        rejoiced and said: "God save the King, long
                        live the king, may the king live for ever.
                        Alleluia.  Amen."

---
Windsinger  -  Rhodri James    *  "If hot food is what you're cravin'
                               *   No throat lining's worth the savin'
Rhodri.James%gb.INTERSPAN.sj   *   If your stomach's got you ravin'
            @mhs-relay.ac.uk   *   Come into the Curry Queen!"
   or                          *
rmj10@phx.cam.ac.uk            *               -- Me

---
Richard Crook  -  a small norwegian blue
Purveyor of pigs to programmers

Richard.Crook%gb.INTERSPAN.sj@mhs-relay.ac.uk

"The door's not shut on my genius, but
I just don't have the time!"          
                            -- Michael Flanders
From: jevans@ius.indiana.edu (JEVANS)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Manx und Brandon
Date: 13 Aug 92 19:01:55 GMT


              The Doctor rose from Table 82 and made his way to Manx.
          Resting his hand on Manx's shoulder, he said:

              "Manx, my friend, you know my travels have taken me
          among the far and near reaches of space and time. I've been
          many places, done many things. But one thing I've found to
          be a constant, even among all the myriad other races I've
          encountered, is something I've come to call "The Shithead
          Syndrome". There are some disgusting wastes of protoplasm
          out there, and indeed on this planet, who seem to exist for
          aught else than seeing what a complete ass they can make of
          themselves. This leads to other phenomenon I've encountered,
          and you folks even have a name for it, "Human Nature".

              Manx, I don't care how non-violent one claims to be,
          there are times when you feel a primordial urge to remove
          someone's spleen by way of their toenails. Countless
          arguments to the contrary, this is indeed human nature. Some
          act on it, some don't. As to WHY you felt like this to the
          one particular schmuck, who can say? Just don't bother
          yourself about it.

              Now, Brandon...... Happy Birthday, mi compadre'. Happy
          Birthday, indeed."

              The Doctor bought two God's Blessings, downed them both,
          and proposed the following toasts:

              "To Human Nature!"

               >*---CRASH---*<

              "To Brandon's Birthday!"


               >*---CRASH---*<

******************************************************************************

    "More to the point, what are you young people doing inside my TARDIS?"

                                The Doctor
            Current Album: Star Trek:The Unofficial Comedy Album
               Current Read: Doctor Who: The Nightmare Fair
            Current Videos:Doctor Who:The Hartnell Years, Doctor
          Who:The Troughton Years, Doctor Who:The Brain Of Morbius and
                 Roger Waters:The Wall:Live In Berlin 1990
                   EMail me at: JEVANS@IUS.INDIANA.EDU

******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Degrees for Teaching?
From: jwwalden@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu (P'relan)
Date: 13 Aug 92 20:01:39 -0500
Organization: Dept. of Physics

In article <1992Aug13.161526.18735@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca>, aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey) writes:
> "In Alberta, at least, there is a B.Ed. degree(and a M.Ed. and an Ed.D., I
> think), specifically for teachers.  You can go partway through the program and
> get a 'certificate', but most people go for the degree--and now that I think
> about it, certificates are mostly for those who already have other degrees, and
> want to teach below the university level...
> 
> "Is this not the practice at other institutions?  Is Education just another
> B.A. subject elsewhere?"

P'relan grins, "Well, no actually it's not, what people get at Miami University
(Ohio, remember) is a B.Sc. in education.  We do have a School of Education &
Allied Professions separate from the School of Arts & Sciences, but the degree
is still called a B.Sc.  Even business majors got B.Sc.'s in business (You
*might* be able to get A.B.'s (I don't know why B.A. is usually abbreviated
A.B. here) but I've never seen one)."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 P'relan (and Birith)      	   ``Time stand still -
 jwwalden@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu      I'm not looking back -
  or jwwalden@miavx1.bitnet	     But I want to look around me now.'' - RUSH
From: rmarsh@waikato.ac.nz
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: RE: Who's Hungary??
Date: 19 Aug 92 17:13:24 +1200
Organization: University of Waikato, Hamilton, New Zealand

In article <92231.084801U3E67@wvnvm.wvnet.edu>, Cathy Ridings <U3E67@wvnvm.wvnet.edu> writes:
> A very embarrassed Kaitlin goes off to a corner to study.

  Stumpy looks rather sheepish. "Sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable,
I just couldn't resist the opportunity for a pun. Perhaps we'd better flag
that one away, I wouldn't want to make another poster feel bad. For 
pennants I'll offer you a drink and a hug if you're willing, just give me a
sign..." ;-)
-- 
Robert 'Stumpy' Marsh | 95 Fairfield Rd | I can't reply to E-Mail, but 
rmarsh@waikato.ac.nz  | Hamilton        | don't let that stop you sending.
+64 7 855 4406        | New Zealand     |
Newsgroups: alt.callahans