From: cjmchale@dsg.cs.tcd.ie (Ciaran McHale)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Who am I anyway?
Date: 20 Aug 92 16:03:15 GMT
Organization: DSG, Dept. of Computer Science, Trinity College Dublin

In <17886@acorn.co.uk> osmith@acorn.co.uk (Owen Smith) writes:
>[...] The surprising thing is, there aren't many (any?) postings on
>soc.bi like this. Have you all got yourselves together or what?

It is very easy to read the discussions on soc.bi and think that all
the posters are perfectly at ease with themselves (and especially their
sexuality). While this is probably true for some people, I know several
people here (certainly myself included) who are _not_ totally at ease
with ourselves and who find participating in soc.bi to be quite
therapeutic. For example, when I participate vigorously in a discussion
on soc.{bi,motss} it is often because the discussion touches on issues
that I am trying to work out for myself. Often these discussions are
serious in nature, but sometimes I use humour as a tool to work through
particular issues. For example, over the past few months I have
contributed quite a lot to the humorous discussion concerning "hi bi
chicks." This was partially motiviated because I thought it would be
fun to take the piss out of this stereotypes. However, the main reason
was that *I* believed in this particular stereotype (to a certain
extent) and so I was trying to get rid of my own prejudices and
misconceptions.

>Anyway, the person I was talking to asked in what way soc.bi was helpful to
>me, since she'd felt a bit shunned and ignored when she posted here.

It's a matter of chance whether a particular posting will be followed up
or not. One should try not take it personally if one's postings appear
to be ignored. I once sat down and made a list of reasons why I might
not followup an interesting posting. I came up with about a dozen
distinct reasons. From the top of my head:

	o I'm too busy to reply.
	o I'm too busy to reply this minute; perhaps I'll do it after
	  lunch (but I'll probably forget).
	o I want to reply but I'm not sure what I want to say so I'll
	  wait until after lunch so I can gather my thoughts. (After
	  lunch, I'll probably have forgotten.)
	o It's an interesting topic but I don't have enough
	  relevant experience to be able to post a worthwhile followup.
	o I think somebody else can give a better response than I could.
	o I don't have anything to add to what the poster said.
	o The poster didn't make any generalisations so I have no reason
	  to post a flame ;-)
	o I got bored with the subject a few posts ago and put it in my
	  kill file so I didn't see the post.

If I thought for a few minutes then I could probably think of another 5
or 6 reasons. Note that none of the above reasons mentions wanting to
shun or ignore the particular poster. 

>My reply is below. Please tell me if I'm raving mad,
>
>Owen.
>[...]
>There are hundreds of people on soc.bi, and all of them think I'm
>perfectly normal. Wow!

I would have phrased it differently. I think you are perfectly perverted...

>PS. You did not upset me when you called me "Gwen". It's just that I've
>realised that I want to be a woman called "Owen". I don't think it'll
>work though. Owen is not a female name. Bugger.

Well, since the only difference between "Owen" and "Gwen" is the first
letter, I think a compromise is in order. Let's see...

	... G H I J K L M N O ...

The letter half-way between G and O is K so we'll compromise and call
you Kwen. :-)


<> To assert that the earth revolves around the sun ``is as erroneous as to
<> claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin.''
<> --- Cardinal Bellarmine 1615, during the trial of Galileo.

Ciaran.
-- 
Ciaran McHale                                                             ----
Department of Computer Science, Trinity College, Dublin 2, Ireland.       \bi/
Telephone: +353-1-7021539 FAX: +353-1-772204 email: cjmchale@dsg.cs.tcd.ie \/