Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv

For the few Eerie Indiana fans that are out there here is the start of a
quotes file for the show. The quotes were collected by the people on the
Eerie Indiana mailing list. The format of the file is the same as some of
the other quote files that have been posted in the past so the same
programs can be used. I have included a UNIX shell fortune type program
that somewhat randomly selects a quote from the file.

--
Loren Heisey           lorenh@hpcvra.cv.hp.com


The UNIX shell program:
==== cut here ====
#!/bin/sh
# Originally by mae@aplpy.jhuapl.edu (Mary Anne Espenshade)
# Modified by Joe Smith to determine highest numbered quote automatically,
#   and to not discriminate against higher numbered quotes.
# Modified by Loren Heisey to put the path of the quotes file in a variable.
#
# Replace everything to the right of the equals with the full path and name
#   of the quotes file.
quote_file=/users/lorenh/text/eerie/quotes
a=`tail -1 $quote_file | cut -c1-5`	# Determine the highest numbered quote
y=`date +%y%m`			# Because $$ is a low number after a reboot
a=`expr \( 19$y + $$ \) % \( $a + 1 \)`
# echo Eerie Indiana quote \#$a:
expr "     $a" : '.*\(.....\)'  | \
join -t% -o 2.2 - $quote_file
exit 0
==== and here ====

The quotes file:
==== cut here and at end ====
    0%"BETTER WEIRD THAN DEAD!"
    1%"In Eerie, Indiana, when you scrape away the surface weirdness, what
    1% you find is ... more weirdness."
    2%"Sometimes I wish we collected stamps for fun, instead of battling the
    2% forces of Weirdness."
    3%Marshall: "Right, here's the key to the evidence locker. You know what
    3%           to do if I don't come back."
    3%Simon:    "I go straight to the President, and if I can't get through
    3%           to him, I tell your mom and dad."
    3%Marshall: "Check."
    3%    -- _Foreverware_
    4%"I have designed for you something very special:  a new, radical, 
    4% experimental, prototypical, one-of-a-kind retainer."
    4%    -- Dr. Eukanuba, _The Retainer_
    5%"Even though Mr. Chisel was cleared on all counts of bank fraud, the
    5% judge sentenced him to 1000 hours of community service - just in case."
    5%    -- Marshall,  _The ATM Machine_
    6%"I guess the rule is, if something's too good to be true, then it's
    6% probably too good to be true."
    6%    -- Marshall, _The ATM Machine_
    7%"There's trouble, and there's trouble. Eating ice cream before dinner is
    7% one thing, but never had I been in the kind of trouble where they'd
    7% throw my Dad in Jail."
    7%    -- Marshall, _The ATM Machine_
    8%"What are you talking about? You heard Mr. Wilson, its all from a flush
    8% fund."
    8%    -- Simon, _The ATM Machine_
    9%"Mr. Wilson told me he gets the money from a big slurpy fund, like all
    9% the government guys."
    9%    -- Simon, _The ATM Machine_
   10%"He was flying, but like they say, what goes up - must come down."
   10%    -- Marshall about Simon, _The ATM Machine_
   11%"Now here's tonight's news. The fire department had its hands full with
   11% a two engine blaze today. The problem is we only have one engine."
   11%    -- News Anchorman, _The ATM Machine_
   12%"It's just phenomenal. Mr. Wilson did upwards in 40,000 dollars in
   12% business over the weekend. Funny its all withdraws though."
   12%    -- Marshall's Dad, _The ATM Machine_
   13%"Perfecto garceo"
   13%    -- Marshall's Dad, _The ATM Machine_
   14%"We had no choice but to stuff and lick a deposit slip for every man,
   14% woman, and child in Eerie. Simon will never be the same. Neither will
   14% my tongue."
   14%    -- Marshall, _The ATM Machine_
   15%Simon:    "You know what's weird?"
   15%Marshall: "Besides Eerie?"
   15%Simon:    "They always tell you you can't buy friends.  But I think you
   15%           can.  You know, guys like Nick and Eddie.  But it's like
   15%           buying expensive tennis shoes.  They cost way too much and
   15%           they don't last very long."
   15%Marshall: "Can I use that?"
   15%           [high five]
   15%    -- _The ATM Machine_
   16%"The problem with losing stuff is that it always happens when you're not
   16% watching. Of course if you were watching I guess the stuff wouldn't get
   16% lost, would it."
   16%    -- Simon, _The Losers_
   17%Marshall: "... So now Dad's all freaked out that he's got this old
   17%           people's disease that makes him lose stuff. He's pushing 35,
   17%           you know."
   17%Simon:    "Scary."
   17%    -- _The Losers_
   18%"I'm a certified Misappropriation Engineer."
   18%    -- Lodgepoole, _The Losers_
   19%Syndi:    "Marshall, quit goofing around with your friends and answer
   19%           the door."
   19%Mummy:    "Who was that?"
   19%Marshall: "Your worst nightmare."
   19%    -- _Scariest Home Videos_
   20%Trick or Treater #1: "Cool costume."
   20%Trick or Treater #2: "Hey, what smells."
   20%    -- _Scariest Home Videos_ with mummy nearby
   21%Mummy:    "What did you say this projector in a bottle is called?"
   21%Marshall: "Television."
   21%Mummy:    "Truely dreadful invention. I do hope it never catches on."
   21%    -- _Scarest Home Videos_
   22%Marshall: "Poor lady, she doesn't stand a chance."
   22%Simon:    "Harley (tap, tap on TV screen), Harley, Harley Schwarzenegger
   22%           Holmes, you leave that poor lady alone right now or I'm going
   22%           to come in there and blister your butt. Do you hear me?"
   22%Harley:   "Hee Hee"
   22%Marshall: "Oh he's really scared now."
   22%    -- _Scarest Home Videos_
   23%Marshall's Dad:  "Anything good on the old boob tube?"
   23%Simon's brother: "You do not want to know."
   23%    -- Edgar and Harley, _Scarest Home Videos_
   24%Syndi:    "Marshall, quit goofing around with your friends and answer
   24%           the door."
   24%Mummy:    "Who was that?"
   24%Marshall: "Your worst nightmare."
   24%    -- _Scariest Home Videos_
   25%Marshall: "And when he bit down on the remote control he caused some
   25%           sort of video feedback timewarp zapping thing."
   25%Mummy:    "Of course, why didn't I think of that."
   25%    -- _Scariest Home Videos_
   26%"Wow, never thought I'd see a mummy, a dead person, and a movie star
   26% all in one day."
   26%    -- Simon, _Scariest Home Videos_
   27%Simon:    "How did he get in there anyhow?"
   27%Marshall: "Does the word mega-eerie-voodo-weirdness mean anything to
   27%           you?"
   27%    -- _Scariest Home Videos_
   28%Mummy: "Heavens to burgitroid, what is that detestable little yard
   28%        ape doing in my movie. He's ruining it."
   28%Simon: "You should see what he does to my bedroom."
   28%    -- _Scariest Home Videos_
   29%"Where's a good victim when you need one"
   29%    -- Simon, _Just Say No Fun_
   30%"Undercover is my life"
   30%    -- Simon, _Just Say No Fun_
   31%"Thanks for the heart attack son."
   31%    -- Marshall's Dad, _Just Say No Fun_
   32%"Of course you know this means war."
   32%    -- Syndi to family, _Just Say No Fun_
   33%"If he kills me, you can have my stuff."
   33%    -- Simon to Marshall after Dimsdale eats the gum, _Just Say No Fun_
   34%"...But until you get your eyes checked by the Eerie school nurse, you
   34% ain't seen nothing yet."
   34%    -- Marshall, _Just Say No Fun_
   35%"All work and no fun makes Simon a good boy."
   35%    -- Simon, _Just Say No Fun_
   36%"I'm not a zombie."
   36%    -- Simon, _Just Say No Fun_
   37%Nancy:   "Just Nancy."
   37%Marilyn: "Oh, like Cher."
   37%Nancy:   "Not quite."
   37%    -- The school nurse and Marshall's Mom, _Just Say No Fun_
   38%Nancy: "...but I've seen your type before."
   38%Mars:  "Yeh, cool and sauve."
   38%    -- The school nurse and Marshall, _Just Say No Fun_
   39%"I'll show you fun. Simon, let the games begin."
   39%    -- Marshall, _Just Say No Fun_
   40%Nancy: "Boys, where do you think you're going?"
   40%Mars:  "We're going to the FBI."
   40%    -- The school nurse and Marshall, _Just Say No Fun_
   41%"Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse."
   41%    -- Devon Wilde, _Heart on a Chain_
   42%"But guys, she's a *girl*."
   42%    -- Simon, _Heart on a Chain_
   43%"A girl - cool? What's so cool about a girl?"
   43%    -- Simon, _Heart on a Chain_
   44%"Hi, I'm Simon. Are you a girl or a lady?"
   44%    -- Simon (to Melanie), _Heart on a Chain_
   45%"To Melanie: Welcome to Mars - I mean welcome to Eerie - Mars."
   45%    -- Melanie reads Marshall's card, _Heart on a Chain_
   46%"Want my advice little boy?  Buy her something tender and nice - 
   46% like a Cadillac."
   46%    -- Elvis, _Heart on a Chain_
   47%"Just remember little paper boy - love's a heart breaker."
   47%    -- Elvis, _Heart on a Chain_
   48%"Mom, this isn't 'Happy Days'. Could we have a little privacy."
   48%    -- Marshall (with Melanie in the attic), _Heart on a Chain_
   49%"Hey buddy, wanta go look for UFO's?"
   49%    -- Marshall to Simon, _Heart on a Chain_
   50%"Note to myself, this is probably not the best joke to pull on a girl
   50% with a heart problem."
   50%    -- Marshall (after Melanie opens his gift), _Heart on a Chain_ 
   51%Marshall: "Say - aren't you...?"
   51%Elvis:    "You in love, little paperboy?"
   51%Marshall: "Well, uh... uh, maybe.  How'd you know?"
   51%Elvis:    "It's the eyes.  They give you away every time."
   51%Marshall: "That's it.  I'm gettin' sunglasses."
   51%    -- _Heart on a Chain_
   52%"My heart belongs to you - Devon Wilde, esquire."
   52%    -- Melanie reads Devon's card, _Heart on a Chain_
   53%"Late that night, something really creepy-mondo-weird was happening at
   53% my house."
   53%    -- Marshall, _The Dead Letter_
   54%"I just hate being second banana on this show."
   54%    -- Simon, _The Dead Letter_
   55%"As we walked deeper and deeper into that musty old house, I kept asking
   55% myself - Marshall, why are you such a bone head."
   55%    -- Marshall, _The Dead Letter_
   56%"Its tough to battle the forces of weirdness when you're under 18 and
   56% your parents can still boss you around"
   56%    -- Marshall, _Who's Who_
   57%"Note to myself: never make a deal with your parents without a lawyer."
   57%    -- Marshall, _Who's Who_
   58%Simon:   "Radford, what's going on here?"
   58%Radford: "You've heard the expression you break it, you buy it?"
   58%Simon:   "Yeh"
   58%Radford: "These guys are buying everything in the store."
   58%    -- _Who's Who_
   59%Marshall: "Who do these Tasmanian devils think they are, anyway?"
   59%Sara Bob: "My brothers."
   59%    -- _Who's Who_
   60%"When we saw my bike parked out front my mind was flooded. Unanswered
   60% questions were playing tiddlywinks with my grey matter. It looked
   60% like my bike, and felt like my bike, but..."
   60%    -- Marshall, _Who's Who_
   61%"Simon and I booked back to my house with the bike and Sara Bob's
   61% drawing. As usual something weird was going on."
   61%    -- Marshall, _Who's Who_
   62%Syndi: "Hey Mom, what di you think of my drawing?"
   62%Mom:   "Ah, well, I'm not quite sure. Is it upside down, abstract,
   62%        autobiograhpical?"
   62%    -- _Who's Who_
   63%"To serve and control, that's our motto, that's what we do."
   63%    -- Policeman, _Who's Who_
   64%Syndi:     "Hey, aren't you at least going to rough him [Marshall] up?"
   64%Policeman: "Maybe later, Mam."
   64%    -- _Who's Who_
   65%"Wow spelled backwards is wow."
   65%    -- Marshall, _Who's Who_
   66%"Coincidence is one thing, but this thing with the bike was bordering
   66% on mega strange."
   66%    -- Marshall, _Who's Who_
   67%"This ain't 'The Partridge Family'."
   67%    -- Marshall refering to Sara Bob's family, _Who's Who_
   68%"Major bizarro."
   68%    -- Marshall, _Who's Who_
   69%Marshall: "It's too quiet. I don't hear the pitter-patter of little
   69%           monsters, Simon."
   69%Simon:    "Bad sign."
   69%    -- _Who's Who_
   70%"Holy Yornado!"
   70%    -- Simon, _Who's Who_
   71%"We've been Eerified again!"
   71%    -- Simon, _The Lost Hour_
   72%Howard Raymer: "This - is a radioisotopic thermally generated cyclonic
   72%                acoustic data storage unit.  I built it myself."
   72%Simon:         "I guess you'd have to."
   72%    -- _Tornado Days_
   73%"Come and get me?  You big bag of wind??  I'm no expert, but I'm pretty
   73% sure it's not smart to tease a tornado."
   73%    -- Marshall, _Tornado Days_
   74%"You mean to tell me a twister's mad because I missed a picnic?!?"
   74%    -- Marshall, _Tornado Days_
   75%Mom:  "Marshall, Simon, time to go to the picnic."
   75%Mars: "I'm not going."
   75%Dad:  "It's our first Tornado Day!"
   75%Mars: "How can you even *think* of going?  Every year a tornado named
   75%       'Old Bob' strikes Eerie on the same day - and they've turned it
   75%       into some sort of mondo, voodoo, pagan ritual."
   75%    -- Marilyn, Marshall, and Edgar, _Tornado Days_
   76%Marshall: "Simon - if anything happens -"
   76%Simon:    "I can have your bike?"
   76%    -- _Tornado Days_
   77%"Come and get me Bob.  This time it's personal!"
   78%Marshall: "Why do you have gray hair?"
   78%Dash X:   "I'm starting a trend, OK?!?"
   78%    -- _The Hole in the Head Gang_
   79%Marshall: "Hey, Mr. Radford.  How come you aren't pressing any charges
   79%           against that impostor guy?"
   79%Radford:  "Well, in spite of all his faults, 'that guy' was one hell of
   79%           a salesman.  He moved more merchandise in six months with me
   79%           tied up in the basement than I made in my best year.  You
   79%           just can't find help like that anymore."
   79%    -- _Hole in the Head Gang_
   80%"Philately can be a very rewarding passtime if you give it a chance.
   80% Stamps are beautiful.  They're a good investment.  And they can't kill
   80% you like a gun!"
   80%    -- Simon, _Hole in the Head Gang_
   81%Radford:  "Well boys, you're my first customers in quite some time.
   81%           Drinks are on the house; what'll you have?"
   81%Marshall: "Uh - Black Cow with a nip of java."
   81%Radford:  "Black Cow with a nip of java." [Turns to Simon]
   81%Simon:    "Ditto."
   81%Radford:  "Ditto.  Coming right up."
   81%    -- _Hole in the Head Gang_
   82%Marshall: "Hey, Mr. Radford.  How come you aren't pressing any charges
   82%           against that impostor guy?"
   82%Radford:  "Well, in spite of all his faults, 'that guy' was one hell
   82%           of a salesman.  He moved more merchandise in six months
   82%           with me tied up in the basement than I made in my best year.
   82%           You just can't find help like that anymore."
   82%    -- _Hole in the Head Gang_
   83%Simon:   "Y'know Mr. Radford."
   83%Radford: "Yes, young man?"
   83%Simon:   "How are we supposed to know for sure if you're the real Mr.
   83%          Radford?"
   83%Radford: "You don't."
   83%Simon:   "Oh.  Thanks."
   83%    -- _Hole in the Head Gang_
   84%"I'm doomed to wander around here aimlessly for eternity...or until they
   84% demolish the mill for a mini-mall, whichever comes first."
   84%    -- Grungy Bill, _Hole in the Head Gang_
   85%Dash-X: "Do things like this happen to you often?"
   85%Simon:  "Oh, at least once a week."
   85%    -- _Hole in the Head Gang_
   86%"Yo Simon, are you there?  Simon.  I'm on station at Wolf Base One.
   86% There's a high chance of mega-weirdness.  Try to stay in contact.
   86% Yo Simon.  Come in!"
   86%    -- Marshall, _Mr. Chaney_
   87%"Puberty -- now that's eerie."
   87%    -- Simon, _Mr. Chaney_
   88%"Marshall, it was the biggest, hugest raccoon you ever saw - enormous"
   88%    -- Syndi, _Mr Chaney_
   89%"Uh, to 13 more years good luck and - uh - low taxes."
   89%    -- Radford, _Mr. Chaney_
   90%"Simon, you stay here with the werewolf.  If he comes to, kabong him."
   90%    -- Marshall, _Mr. Chaney_
   91%Marshall:  "So... what exactly happened to all the guys who saw the wolf
   91%            before?"
   91%Mr Chaney: "Uh... they're in... Spain."
   91%    -- _Mr. Chaney_
   92%"To 13 more years of good luck and, uh, low taxes."
   92%    -- Radford [dejected], _Mr. Chaney_
   93%Simon:    "Think we should call a doctor?"  
   93%Marshall: "Simon, he's a werewolf.  An animal."
   93%Simon:    "Should we call a vet?"
   93%    -- _Mr. Chaney_
   94%"C'mon Marshall - hurry up...  I'm hungry.  (To wolf)  Stay here."
   94% [Simon goes over to counter, dives into apple pie.  Werewolf awakens
   94% but Simon is oblivious.  Werewolf creeps up, and Simon gradually
   94% becomes aware something is wrong.]  "Uh oh."  (Turns to see werewolf.)
   94%"Arghhh.  Arghhh.  Help!  Help!  omanoManOManOManOMANOMANOMAN!
   94% Down boy!  Down boy!"
   94%    -- Simon, _Mr. Chaney_
   95%"We did it!  We shot the werewolf with the silver bullet!  OK, so we
   95% just winged him, but we cured Mr. Chaney.  He'll never again turn
   95% into this mega-ugly monster terrifying Eerie every 13 years.  But what
   95% about me?  That was Radford's only silver bullet.  Who was gonna cure
   95% me?"
   95%    -- Marshall, _Mr. Chaney_
   96%"Simon's not himself."
   96%    -- Marshall, _No Brain, No Pain_
   97%"The poor guy's got nothing... except one handsome haircut."
   97%    -- Simon, _No Brain, No Pain_
   98%"Thanks to the brainalyzer, my nine year old buddy Simon has an
   98% Einsteinian intellect - and a pretty snobby personality to boot."
   98%    -- Marshall, _No Brain, No Pain_
   99%"Did they steal your brain, too?"
   99%    -- Charles Furnell to Syndi, _No Brain, No Pain_
  100%"Where's the tape with Simon's brain on it?"
  100%    -- Marshall, _No Brain, No Pain_
  101%Mom:  "Oh man... Shouldn't we?..."
  101%Syn:  "Don't even think of that Mom.  That guy is the *Mad Whacker*!"
  101%Sim:  "Syndi's right.  They call him the whacker because he uses his axe
  101%       to kill his victims."
  101%Dad:  "Now, come on!  I've heard rumors he was Eerie's last living
  101%       liberal, but"
  101%Sim:  "What's a liberal?"
  101%Dad:  "I'll explain it to you when you're older."
  101%Mom:  "Well, I don't care whether he's a liberal or an axe murderer,
  101%       I want you boys to stay clear of him.  Understood?"
  101%Mars: "Yes, Mom."
  101%    -- _No Brain, No Pain_
  102%"Poor guy's got nothing - except one handsome haircut."
  102%    -- Simon, _No Brain, No Pain_
  103%"In the meantime, one false move and Simon here becomes
  103% vice-presidential."
  103%    -- Dash X, _No Brain, No Pain_
  104%"What?!?  I invented the brainalyzer for the good of humanity.  To
  104% preserve intelligence for coming generations.  And then that 'great
  104% woman' sold us out.  She negotiated a multimillion dollar deal with Ed
  104% Meese to steal the 1980 election by pumping MacGyver's brain into
  104% Ronald Reagan, quadrupling his IQ."
  104%    -- Charles Furnell, _No Brain, No Pain_
  105%Simon:    "People say they run things.  People say you'd better do as
  105%           they say."
  105%Marshall: "Have people noticed they're a bunch of goons in stupid hats?
  105%           C'mon."
  105%    -- _The Loyal Order of Corn_
  106%"Plus and minus?? What kind of a stupid name is that? You guys are a
  106% constant source of embarrassment."
  106%    -- Dash X, _The Loyal Order of Corn_
  107%"What is this?  Some kind of intergalactic video zapping portal kind
  107% of thing?"
  107%    -- Dash X, _The Loyal Order of Corn_
  108%"Coming up: our definitive answer to the JFK assassination, the Iran
  108% contra coverup, the cure for the common cold, and our hidden videotape
  108% of Madonna's torrid affair..."
  108%    -- Anchorman, _Zombies in PJs_
  109%"My brain is very important to me. That's why I'm super careful about
  109% what I put into the little laboratory on my neck."
  109%    -- Marshall, _Zombies in PJs_
  110%"Just when you think you have a handle on how weird Eerie is during the
  110% day, the whole town does a bellyflop at night."  
  110%    -- Marshall, _Zombies in P.J.s_
  111%"Just can't get enough... Just can't get enough... Just can't get enough..."
  111%    -- _Zombies in P.J.s_
  112%Marshall:   "You gotta stop this.  They don't even know what they're
  112%             buying."
  112%The Donald: "Hey, it's the American way."
  112%Marshall:   "Listen, mister.  Nobody turns my family into zombies and
  112%             gets away with it."
  112%The Donald: "They're not zombies, they're consumers."
  112%Dash-X:     "Yeah, besides, how can you tell the difference?"
  112%    -- _Zombies in P.J.s_
  113%Edgar/Francis: "These lines aren't that hard to memorize. It isn't as if
  113%                we were doing Chekhov here."
  113%Marshall/Omri: "What's 'Star Trek' got to do with it?"
  113%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  114%"Where's he going?"
  114%"Where does any red-blooded teen star go when they get cancelled?  On a 
  114% crime spree."
  114%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  115%"Sic Transit Gloria Omri."
  115%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  116%"Hey, wait a minute.  This is a script!  There must be a writer around
  116% here somewhere."  
  116%"Ya know, I never thought of it, but there's a logic to that.  Otherwise,
  116% everybody'd make things up as they go along, and we'd have chaos."
  116%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  117%Script writer: "Rrrah!  I smell Emmy!!"
  117%Marshall:      [frown] [sniff] [sniff]
  117%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  118% "I stayed up all night learning my line."
  118%    -- Julie Condra/Syndi, _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  119%"If I have to say one more air-headed big sister line, I'm going to 
  119% vomit on a producer."
  119%    -- Julie Condra/Syndi, _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  120%Marshall:  "What are those?"
  120%Prop Man:  "Squibs, for when the bullets hit you."
  120%Marshall:  "What's he using, an uzzi?"
  120%Dash X:    "Oh Lyle, Lyle, those won't be necessary.  We'll be doing 
  120%            this take _au naturel_."  [evil chuckle]
  120%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  121%Marshall/Omri: "Wait... uh... What's my motivation?"
  121%Joe Dante:     "Your motivation is you say a few words, you go outside,
  121%                you get shot, and you die. Because I said so."
  121%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  122%"Every kid dreams of being the star of their own TV show. Take it from
  122% me, it's a living hell."
  122%    -- Marshall, _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  123%"Eerie had collided with a parallel reality called NBC.  
  123% *I* was being written off the show.  Correction:  Killed off the show.  
  123% Double correction:  Killed dead!"
  123%    -- Marshall, _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  124%Marshall:      "Wh-wh-what do you mean wh-when you say - 'dead'?"
  124%Jose Schaefer: "I mean 'offed'"
  124%Dash X:        "'snuffed'"
  124%Jose Schaefer: "'kicked the bucket'"
  124%Dash X:        "'pushing up daisies'"
  124%Jose Schaefer: "'bought the farm'"
  124%Dash X:        "Did I mention 'rigor mortis'?"  [chuckle]
  124%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  125%Syndi: "The Wilson twins give it two fingers up."
  125%Simon: "Which finger?"  [laughs]
  125%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  126%Syndi:    "'Revenge of the Corn Critters' is a good monster movie sequel.
  126%           It's got all the gore of the original plus some romance, but
  126%           never gets all mushy [so] as to gunk it all up.  You won't be
  126%           sorry."
  126%Marshall: "Since when did you become such a cinephile?"
  126%Syndi:    "You better watch your mouth."
  126%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  127%Radford:  "How about a Black Cow on the house in honor of your being my
  127%           first customer of the day?"
  127%Marshall: "Thanks, Mr. Radford."
  127%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  128%"My name is Marshall Teller, and I've learned an important lesson about
  128% Reality.  In this life you can either follow the script they give you,
  128% or demand a rewrite.  Here in Eerie, Indiana, _Weirdness Central USA_,
  128% you've gotta be ready to improvise."
  128%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  129%"Simon, we have major Eerie mega-weirdness here."
  129%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  130%"You're all a bunch of pod people!"
  130%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  131%"Eerie, Indiana.  The Last Testament of Marshall Teller.  I had come to
  131% the end of the line.  Hunted.  Lost.  Nowhere to hide.  And then I
  131% saw - home.  The safest place there is.  But like everything else,
  131% it turned out to be fake."
  131%    -- Marshall, _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  132%"I had to work fast.  If that writer guy wouldn't change the script,
  132% I'd have to do it myself."
  132%    -- Marshall, _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  133%"Mr. Radford - something mondo-bizarro is goin' on here."
  133%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
  134%"Things had gone from the ridiculous to mega-voodoo-primetime!"
  134%    -- _Reality Takes a Holiday_
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