From: bhate@graphite.csee.usf.edu (Neeta Bhate)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: MAMA'S BOYS HAVING A GOOD TIME IN THE U.S.
Date: 14 Apr 92 17:27:26 GMT
Reply-To: bhate@graphite.csee.usf.edu (Neeta Bhate)
Followup-To: bhate@sol.csee.usf.edu
Organization: Univ of South Florida, Dept of Computer Science


In article <1992Apr7.212608.26022@gatech.edu> you write:
|> I have read many debates on the net reg.
|> arranged vs love marriage and was amused that
|> Indian students are wasting their time debating
|> on this, when they don't practice it (love m'ge) at all.   
|> 
|> I find 99% of Indian men still tied to MAMA's
|> pallu, in other words, they DO NOT DARE to choose
|> their own life partner. They might freak out here
|> with Indian girls ( if they find someone) and with
|> American girls too. But finally, when it comes to
|> marriage, they run back home to choose possibly the
|> prettiest of the living dolls they see in the numerous
|> living rooms they visit and marry her in a couple of days.
|> 
|> I can attribute a couple of reasons for this:
|> 
|> 1. These guys don't like independent women as they prefer
|>    DOMINATING over some docile creature who will have no
|>    alternative but to tag with their whims and fancies.
|> 
|> 2. They are  terrified of the prospect of having to convince
|>    their parents about their choice since most parents find some
|>    objection to anybody their children choose in this manner.
|> 
|> There is also the category who are really "TOO SHY" to even 
|> interact with girls, whose handicap I can understand but 
|> the others, why are you bothering to give lame excuses for 
|> preferring arranged marriages ( as some of u have done). 
|> 
|> Hope all of you agree with me, atleast at heart.
|> 
|> From
|> 
|> An Indian Independent woman.
|> 					
|> 					-New User (newuser@cc.gatech.edu)
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I agree with the above completely. I have come in contact with  numerous
such wimps. I think it is a case of wanting to have the cake and eat it
too, If these mama's boys were to restrict themselves to American women
it would at least not be so bad because for the most part American women
don't expect the kind of commitment that we Indian women do. What
bothers me the most is that if an Indian woman is involved it takes a
long time for her to recover from the whole thing emotionally while Mr
Foriegn returned eligible bachelor gets married to mama's choice and
lives happily ever after!!
 
What these men need to ask themselves is the following : Would they
approve of another guy doing the same to thier sisters ?
 
I personally know of one case where this smart aleck Mr X (just to be
polite) went out with this Indian girl for two whole years (TWO WHOLE
YEARS) and then one fine days calls her up (doesn't even have the guts
to face her) and tells her he can't marry her because she he not from
the same caste -- GIVE ME A BREAK -- Did this just suddenly strike him
-- that they are not from the same caste!! So Mr goody two shoes goes
home, gets married to a girl who is not half as good looking, smart or
educated. But check this out-- the wife has the same name as the Indian
girlfried he dumped. What a coincidence !!! Now to top it all off he
comes back and tells the ex-girlfriend-- Well, atleast she has your name !!
The jerk. 

In cases like these, I feel sorry for the wife and for the Indian
girlfriend --as for the guy, maybe he will pay the price sooner or later
in life.

I know this story is too bizarre to believe, but its true. Now, many of
you actually believed Anita Hill ?

Would like to know what you all feel about this. I think this story
needs to be turned into a book or a movie.

--Neeta Bhate.