From: krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith)
Subject: thermal underpants
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 20:03:31 GMT

I had always hated to wear thermal underpants, no matter how bad the
weather was, because I had never found any that fit me.  As I am rather
small-boned and slim, though athletically built (ie., hard-to-fit),
I tend to find the nearest-fit in men's thermals to be barely big enough
in the legs, while being way-too-big in the waist.  This weekend, as I
was/am bound and determined to have some good cold-weather-workout gear,
I went shopping for thermals...... determined to find something that
_would_ fit, and not to go home w/o same.  I went to the biggest army/navy
store downtown (I. Goldberg's), and scoured the racks of men's thermals
in the hopes of finding something to fit.  The smallest size in men's
thermals is apparently 30-32 waist.  I have a 27 waist.  I also have
a pair of 30-32 men's thermals at home that I can barely get my thighs
into, and usually wear those with a safety-pin in the waistband.....
.... not an ideal situation.  I was on the verge of becoming frustrated,
when it occurred to me to look thorough the racks of women's thermals.
My inner self paused for a moment, saying, "Keith, what are you doing?
You _know_ that manly-men don't wear women's underpants".  My other inner
self said, "Keith, if you find a pair that looks as if they'll fit, then
buy 'em dammit!".  My second inner self won the debate, so here I am poring
through the racks of women's thermal pants, only to discover that they are
sized either in "women's sizes" (ie., 5,6,7, and so on), or by hip size,
though a few of them are sized by waist size, the way that men's underwear
are.  I compares the "specs" on a number of different brands, with their
own separate sizing schemes, and determined that a women's small should
fit me properly.  I opened a package.  The legs looked long enough,
(I stand 5'11") they looked about big enough around in the thighs and
in the hips, and the waistband looked just-right!  The only thing missing
was that flap that they put in the front of men's jockey shorts and thermal
underpants.  As for me, I haven't used "the flap" since I was about 14,
and for the life of me, I cannot understand why they still make 'em that
way, when it is so much more convenient to simply pull down the waistband
in the front when you have to "go".  At worst, the flap is an extra obstacle
to surmount when you _really_ have to "go".

Anyway, I got ta' thinkin' about men and women and underwear.  I thought
about a previous SO who enjoyed wearing my jockey-shorts.  I thought that
it was strange behavior at the time, but she assured me that the cotton
was a much healthier environment for FSO's than a lot of that synthetic
material that lots of women's undies are made from.  My response was: 
"That is all well and good, but would you consider buying your own?".
If I were still seeing her, she would probably want to wear these thermals
that I just bought.  She was certainly tall enough.  She was sorta'
light-boned, slender, and athletic-looking... much like my sister would
look, that is, if I _had_ a sister.  Her waist was about an inch smaller
than mine, her hips were a coupla' inches bigger (that was why my jeans
looked better on her butt than on mine), her thighs were noticeably bigger
than my own, and her calves were quite-a-bit bigger (ballet training
_tells_, folx).  She stood about 5'7" or 5'8", and 130-n-change.  To make
a long story short, my new thermals would be safe, because, though the waist
and hips would fit, she would not be able to get her legs into them.
If she went with the next-larger size in order to fit her heavenly
shaped-and-toned legs, then she would have to do the safety-pin-bit
with the waistband...... the _same_ problem that _I_ have with the
men's thermals!

I can't help but think that _one day_ the folx who make athletic gear
(you know, those garments that _have to_ fit men/women of athletic
proportions), would get together with the folx that make thermal undies,
and a KILLING would be made!

What do ya' think, folx?

Keith R