From: jimc@cobabe.b11.ingr.com (Jim Cobabe)
Subject: kids and morals
Reply-To: jimc@cobabe.b11.ingr.com
Organization: Intergraph 
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 13:55:23 GMT

In article <4340.29DCFFC7@umagic.FIDONET.ORG>, Christian.Walters@p0.f14.n373.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Christian Walters) writes:
(stuff deleted)
|> The problem is complex. We can't just start banning things. Kids are
|> going to find out about them one way or another, and if the subject of
|> sex or drugs is taboo at home, they will think there's something to it
|> all. Also, once you start banning books and movies, it's hard to stop.
|> Reverend Wildmon's crowd showed us how easy it is to find something
|> offensive in the most innocuous of books.

I think you make it more complex than necessary.  If parents take a
consistent and reasonable approach to this issue in their own homes,
their children learn moral values gradually and relatively painlessly.
I guess the problem shows up when parents have not prepared their
children to deal adequately with the challenges of becoming responsible
adults.

And an effective approach does not allow a vacuum to exist, so there
is no subject that is "taboo at home".  In my home, we just "know" when
things are appropriate for us, and when they are not.  I often find these
days that my children are more anxious than I am to avoid inappropriate
activities.  We have taught them that we want to do "the right things",
and they have internalized this idea.  Now they are becoming able to
apply this concept to specific instances where judgement is required
without any intervention from me.

This approach is apparently only good with young children, however.
I suppose if parents neglect the education of their children until they are
teen-agers, they are preparing themselves for lots of grief.
 
|> It goes without saying that I find the churches unsatisfactory as a
|> moral roadmap in these situations :)

A church is not a "moral roadmap".  At best, a church can serve as a
support organization for parents and familes.  Parents must teach
their children the basics of morality in their homes.  Moral values are
intrinsic -- they seem to come from somewhere within our selves.
Not from a church.

|> SO what do we do? I think the best thing is to be candid about it with
|> your kids when they're young and impressionable. If you remove the shock
|> value from words like "vagina," you will upset many traditionalists, but
|> your children will be inured to it.

I suppose this is something like what I was trying to say above.  :-)
 
|> At least I think so, but who knows? I might turn out to be a lousy
|> parent someday.. :)

Try it, you'll like it.  :-)

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