From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The wages of Stupidity are Death
Summary: If you receive this article before I change my mind and cancel it, enjoy
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 16:03:37 BST
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] The Knight of Stubstaff Keep") writes:
> In article <9208051906.AA01322@helium> dolan@noarlw.UUCP (Kent Paul Dolan) wr
> >   Tobacco, cocaine and the ilk, and AIDS are intelligence tests.
>
> I can't imagine a more useless and cruel metaphor.

Nevertheless, you have to admit that smoking is pretty fucking grade A
stupid, which makes it surprising that CJ apparently does it.

Still, as she points out,

Article <o6tlbio@fido.asd.sgi.com> by cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio):
> women in the silicon valley have it made...
> if they like their home decor to come from Fry's
> if their idea of romantic chat is irc

So:
even if she's unable to enjoy food properly...
even if she smells awful and has stained teeth and fingers...
even if she gets ratty whenever she misses a nicotine fix...
even if the premature arteriosclerosis hits and results in her legs being
   amputated for gangrene...
even if she needs a tracheotomy and spends the rest of her life breathing
   through a plastic tube...
even if she ends up in a wheelchair coughing up tar and mucus...
even if she needs chemotherapy cancer and loses all her hair...

... the chances are she'll always be able to find a mate.  Assuming the lung
cancer and throat cancer don't just kill her outright, of course.

Cigarette smoking is just so darn attractive and sophisticated, isn't it?

Of course, it might be worth the risk if there were some sort of benefit
derived from it.  I mean, hang-gliding is dangerous too, but at least one can
get something out of it.

But with cigarettes, the "enjoyment" and "pleasure" come from temporarily
feeling normal again rather than craving the next fix, or from social
pressures which are usually a good indication that it's time to find a new
set of friends.  First-time smokers find the experience unpleasant --
revolting, even -- and have to "practice" (read: get addicted) before they
begin to enjoy it.  So in some respects it's one of the worst self-destructive
habits mankind has developed.

I realize that by posting this I'm going to lose popularity faster than
Carasso in a Mosque, but quite frankly I don't want to be friends with
anyone who smokes.  This is not simple prejudice on my part, either.

Firstly, it distresses me to see people killing themselves.  Particularly
when those people are witty, amusing, and otherwise intelligent.  Saying "You
shouldn't smoke" is pointless; everyone already knows that.  Begging them to
stop doesn't seem to work; I've tried it on the few remaining members of my
immediate family who smoke.

Secondly, it makes my life a misery to be next to smokers, as it gives me
asthma and makes my eyes water.  And that's ignoring the dangers of passive
smoking.

But the worst bit is that smokers are not only gradually dooming themselves
to a painful and lingering death.  They are also paying their murderers large
amounts of money for the privilege of being allowed to die painfully, because
the addiction (both chemical and psychological) has them convinced that they
get pleasure from it.  It distresses me that people can be so stupid.

Alcohol, LSD, hang-gliding, do whatever you want in moderation.  I drink
alcohol from time to time, and I find the idea of LSD quite tempting.  As far
as I'm aware, neither are appreciably risky in moderation, unless you do
something stupid like driving a car afterwards.

But don't make me participate in your smoking, and don't expect me to enjoy
watching anything which involves you destroying your body.  If you have to
disfigure and ultimately kill yourself with cigarettes, do it somewhere where
I don't have to watch.

Besides, what *is* a moderate amount of smoking if every cigarette chops
about five minutes off of your life?


mathew
[ I may be an opinionated and sometimes obnoxious git, but I'd like to think
  that I at least insult people for the right reasons.  I point this out
  because the only possibly bizarre aspect of this entire thread is the
  incongruity between my motivation and my methods. ]
-- 
"Even the most bizarre of the unions (probably that between a cat's gall
 stone and a single note 'G' from CNN's ident theme) managed to convey a
 sense of rampant impropriety."  -- 'Fortran Five', Simon G. Lawrence Leonard

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre