From: asente@adobe.com (A Usenet Pal)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Devil CD's
Date: 15 Dec 92 06:27:06 GMT
Organization: Adobe Systems Incorporated

In article <1992Dec14.000732.1791@spdcc.com> dyer@spdcc.com (Steve Dyer) writes:
>As far as I can tell, a CD can be made to sound indistinguishable from its
>corresponding vinyl...

From rec.audio many years ago:

 
		    NEW PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENT
		    ------------------------
 
	    The LIRPA CD Enhancer/LP Record Simulator:
	    ==========================================
 
A revolutionary new device for all those who believe that CD players
produce "mid-fi" results, and that analog recordings (LPs) are superior
to CDs.
 
 
PURPOSE:
~~~~~~~~
 
	This device allows you to taylor the signal produced by the
	Compact Disk medium to more closely resemble that of LP records.
	It can be placed between the Compact Disk player and your
	receiver, in a tape monitor loop or external processing loop, or
	between the preamp and power amplifier of your stereo system.
 
 
STANDARD FEATURES:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
    o	HARMONIC DISTORTION GENERATOR:  Adjustible from 0% to 100% THD
	(total harmonic distortion).  This allows you to increase the total
	harmonic distortion of the Compact Disk from 0.01% to levels found
	on typical LPs played with "top-of-the-line" stereo cartridges
	(commonly 1% THD +).  An additional benefit is found in that this
	control also contributes to that ultra-sonic information above
	22kHz which was lost in the digital process.
 
    o	SEPARATION-REDUCTION CONTROL:  Permits variable blending of left and
	right channels over a range from 90dB separation (found on Compact
	Disks) to full blending (monophonic sound).  Adjustment of about
	30dB separation is recommended to simulate the typical "state-of-
	the-art" stereo cartridge.
 
    o	DYNAMIC RANGE COMPRESSOR:  Now you don't have to worry whether your
	power amplifier or your speakers are "Digital-Ready".  This knob
	allows you to reduce the dynamic range of the Compact Disk from
	90dB to as low as 45dB.  This is a definite "must" for those who
	prefer the TELARC 1812 LP to the TELARC 1812 CD (suggested adjustment
	for this recording:  65dB).
 
    o	SUB-SONIC DOPPLER DISTORTION GENERATOR:  Superimposes sub-sonic
	information on top of the "music" from the Compact Disk (variable
	in the 4Hz to 8Hz bandwidth from "slight warpage" to "fully warped").
	This re-creates that breath-taking (and amplifier power-robbing)
	doppler distortion created by those subtle warps found only on
	analog records but missing from all known Compact Disks.
 
    o	SURFACE NOISE GENERATOR:  Creates that "sea shore" sound so familiar
	with LPs, especially between tracks.  Allows you to know whether
	there is more music to come or if the CD has come to the end.
 
    o	RANDOM POP GENERATOR:  You could never tell where that next "pop"
	was going to come from when playing your favorite LPs, despite
	meticulous cleaning on your part.  As the Compact Disk does not
	contain this useful "pop" information, this switch can be turned
	on to produce that familiar noise while listening to your CDs.
	The variable adjustment allows simulation ranging from "virgin
	vinyl" to that wonderful noise found only on your favorite, well-
	played LPs.
 
    o	PREDICTABLE POP GENERATOR:  This can be set at 33 1/3, 45 or 78
	to generate repetitive pops, simulating scratches on an LP at the
	various standard speeds.
 
    o	WOW, FLUTTER & RUMBLE GENERATOR:  Everyone knows that there is no
	measurable Wow, Flutter, or Rumble on a Compact Disk, and what a
	bummer to not get something like that after paying $16.95 for a
	CD!  Now you can return to the sounds of yesterday with a simple
	adjustment of this knob -- GET WHAT YOU PAYED FOR AND BE ABLE TO
	MEASURE IT TOO!
 
 
OPTIONAL ACCESSORY PACKAGE:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
    o	MOVING COIL CARTRIDGE SIMULATOR:  Introduces a 6dB peak at 19kHz,
	simulating those energetic resonances at very high frequencies
	typical of MC cartridges.  This causes the music to sound bright,
	with added "definition and detail".
 
    o	"KA-CHUNK" SIMULATOR:  Adds an assortment of interesting sounds
	to the information contained on the Compact Disk, including
	"familiar sounds of dust covers closing", "needle hitting the
	groove", and "end of record 'thunk'".
 
    o	ACOUSTIC FEEDBACK LOOP PROCESSOR:  Allows your speakers to howl
	when the volume is turned up.  Especially good for simulating
	the effects of a turntable mounted on top of a speaker cabinet.
 
    o	DIRT BALL SIMULATOR:  Muddles the music from the CD to mimic
	the sound of a dirt clot clinging to the diamond during the
	playing of an LP.
 
    o	MANUAL RECORD PLAYER SIMULATOR/END OF CD ALARM:  This useful
	accessory emits an audible alarm at the end of the playing of
	a Compact Disk.  The alarm sound resembles this:  "kathwoosh,
	kathwoosh, kathwoosh,".  It is programmable for the usual
	33 1/3, 45, and 78 RPM.
 
    o	FLOOR VIBRATION SENSING UNIT:  It is very difficult to get a
	Compact Disk to skip, but with this deluxe addition to your
	Lirpa Enhancer you can actually sense when people walk by your
	CD player.  Features a sensitive accelerometer which can be
	mounted to the floor with a few simple household tools.  Movement
	of the floor near the sensing unit causes a small electrical
	signal to be transmitted to the motorized unit (included) which
	mounts to the CD player directly.  The motorized unit can then
	shake the @#$%& out of your CD player until it causes the CD
	to skip, simulating some of the finest analog equipment available.
 
 
PRICE INFORMATION:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    o	100% Solid State Model:
	-----------------------
 
		STANDARD PACKAGE:	$ 2499.95	(U. S.)
 
		ACCESSORY PACKAGE:	$ 1499.95
 
 
    o	Vacuum Tube Model:
	------------------
 
		STANDARD PACKAGE:	$ 6499.99
 
		ACCESSORY PACKAGE:	$ 4499.99
 
...............................................................................


      -paul asente
	   asente@adobe.com   ...decwrl!adobe!asente   moo-bear@cs.stanford.edu

Later Reginald, another remarkably well-set-up young man from the village,
provided everyone with the most astonishing little device.
Newsgroups: soc.motss