From: rjr@idm.com (Ray J Rueb)
Subject: Mytho-Poetic men's movement (Warriors)
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 00:01:20 GMT
Distribution: world,public
Organization: Information Data Management
Keywords: Real issues for men

>> polly@iastate.edu (Y. B. Normal) writes:
>>AAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
>>
>>I have heard enough about circumcision.
>>at least the anal sex discussion is about sex.    
>>
>>Paula 

> sdoe@nmsu.edu (Stephen Doe) writes:
>
>Hear, hear!  I've learned more than I ever needed or wanted to know
>about circumcision.  Let's start kill this thread, please.
>
>SD

Personally, I have felt bored with this newsgroup recently...
Though the shaving stuff of late is worth a couple of smiles.

SOOOOO....

[Note: this is long, but I feel the real men's stuff is at the end]

dgross@polyslo.csc.calpoly.EDU (Dave Gross) recently posted an
introduction to men's movements (V 2.1) containing what I consider
a very rough description of the Mythopoetic Men's Movement.
It characterizes this rather large and diverse movement as "These are
the ones you see on TV and in magazines wearing masks and beating drums".
I feel this really is turning a caricature into ridicule. I felt hurt
because Dave has totally missed the point of Robert Bly et al. I feel
that their position is more one of: HEAL YOURSELF before you try to
heal the world.  I also feel that the drums, mythology and poetry are
strong metaphors for the personal power in each of us; they are not an
end unto themselves.

I am a member of an organization known as ``Warriors''.
Some of the men I know appeared on the Donohue show.
The term ``Warrior'' is a metaphor for that part inside each of us which
enables us to overcome our fear and deal with our problems. This metaphor
is described in the book _King Warrior Magician Lover_ by Robert Moore and
Douglas Gillette.  As an organization, the Warriors sponsor weekends where
men come to deal with one issue in their life which is holding them back.
It is an emotionally wrenching weekend.
It is NOT as Jon Tevlin writes of his ``Wild Man Weekend'':
    "How did I get to this particular orange shag carpet at
     this particular Methodist bible camp in Mound, Minnesota,
     crawling around with a dozen middle-aged men with torn
     athletic socks and smelly feet, snorting and mooing and
     sniffing under the orders of a diminutive psychologist
     from San Francisco."
Indeed, a Warrior weekend is NOT a ``Wild Man Weekend''; I have seen men
howl and scream in their pain, but NO ONE _E_V_E_R_ MOO'ED!!!
The Warriors also sponsor support (integration) groups after the weekend.

The way it seems to work is that the weekend tends to open the door;
a first step on a path to healing. The support groups pick up where the
weekend leaves off by providing a SAFE place for discussion, growth and
personal work.

The following might seem to be advertisement, but I feel I must include
it to dispel the notion that the Warriors is some kind of ``cult'',
which it is not. The cost for the weekend is currently $550.00. It was
$450.00 two years ago when I went through my weekend (Nov `90). The cost
for the support groups is $100.00 for the first eight weeks. Thereafter
it is free. [If you want more information call (312) WARRIOR and ask for
a brochure.] The members of the support group are taught to lead themselves
in their work. If group members find they need professional help to deal
with a specific issue they can use their existing therapist, or, many
warriors are trained psycho-therapists and accept other warriors as
short term patients. These sessions tend to be extremely focused since
the group member is usually ready to work.

As you can see, the Warriors is not a cult, nor is it a religion. The
Warriors is also not a social organization. It exists to serve a purpose.
They have no financial interests except to continue to grow the weekends.
The organization is structured closer to AA than a religion. The weekend
and integration groups function nothing like AA meetings.

There are Warrior weekends held in: Chicago, Milwaukee,
Minnesota, San Diego, Indianapolis, Washington D.C., Houston, Philadelphia
amongst other locations. At least five new locations are expected to be
added next year. Each weekend is sponsored by a local organization.
There is one full time executive director who reports to an unpaid, elected
board of directors. There is no other full time staff. The weekends have
at most 30 participants with an equal number of staff members. Most staff
members are unpaid or pay a small fee. Many staff members are psychology
professionals. There is always a physician on staff, and the warrior
organization has a high limit on their liability insurance. When I staff
a weekend (I recently staffed my second weekend), I do it because I
believe in this process. I have seen the change that it brings to many men.

After my weekend I was quickly able to drop my therapist of 2 1/2 years.
I clearly was making much more progress with my integration group than
in my therapist's office.  On my weekend I felt emotional pain and anger;
the first feelings I had allowed myself in many years. Many men cried on
my weekend, though I did not. I have since learned to grieve, and to feel
joy. In fact, until men in my support group modeled it for me, I did not
know what joy was.

My recent work has been to uncover and feel my feelings surrounding an
episode of abuse that occurred when I was ten. This is but one of my
wounds that I am healing through my Warrior work: I am still unable to
contribute to charities or to do charity related work (even at Christmas);
I still feel the need to put others down to `prove' that I am better;
I still fear being `controlled' by men with power over me; I feel unworthy
of praise and will self destruct to prove it; I endeavor to become and
remain a victim; the list is sooooo long (heavy sigh).

On the other hand, I have come far through my Warrior work: I am able to
face another man's anger without fear; I am able to let a woman be angry
without making her anger mine; my relationship with my daughter is soooo
much better than my father's relationship with me; my wife and I can
communicate our wants, needs and desires (though there is still quite a
power struggle going on between us); I trust myself; I love and accept
myself; I love and accept others, just the way they are.

Now, aren't these real men's issues?

Ray (Angry Fox) Rueb

Oh, ahhhh.... usual disclaimers do apply, don't they?
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