From: mvij@novell.com (Manish Vij)
Subject: Re: Did anyone attend the IA convention last week?
Summary: Yes, and look what it started...
Organization: Novell Inc., San Jose, California
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 00:32:01 GMT

In article <1992Aug19.230756.5767@nas.nasa.gov> raghavan@wk21.nas.nasa.gov (Venkatraman Raghavan) writes:
>Did anyone in the San Francisco Bay area attend the indian-
>american convention last weekend? Some big names (Mrs.Bush, 
>Mr.Quayle etc.) scheduled to come but I doubt if they made it.
>
>-raghavan

I went to the Unity Convention last weekend at the Fairmont in San Jose.
Although I didn't shell out the cash for a banquet ticket, I probably would
have heard if anybody of that level came; I didn't.  By the way, there was
an ad in India West with the names and mugs of approximately 40 bigwigs,
from Barbara Bush and Dan Quayle to (CA gov'nr) Pete Wilson and Bill
Clinton, who were "attending" the convention.  This is one of the most
blatant forms of deceptive advertising I've ever seen.  Bush naturally
would be at the Republican Convention this week, and Clinton had just
81 days until Election Day, during which he presumably is campaigning
as hard as possible to as many people as possible.

Corret me if I'm wrong, but Clinton didn't show up; he could have, considering
that he was in the East Bay at the time.

I was a panelist in the Youth Forum (thanks to all who sent suggestions for
forum topics, esp. Ron Hira) and, as usual, it turned out to be a rather
shallow means of discussing the issues.  However, we did discuss things which
normally are not discussed, and I did learn several things.  This was because
of the focus on sexism in the Indian culture and because of the presence
of a mini-panel of parents.  Also, I got to talk with
Kumar Bharve, a Maryland state assemblyman, and Priya
Agarwal, author of _Passage From India_.

Both Bharve and Agarwal were quite down-to-earth people and very approachable;
I wasn't sure what to expect from a politician and an author :-).
Bharve had won his seat with the traditional door-knocking, hand-shaking,
cute baby photo-carrying approach.  He was very bullish on American politics
and did not complain about discrimination.  Agarwal is quite young, 23-24,
so I could relate to her.

Some interesting stats from her book:

* 50% of 2nd-gen Indo-Americans plan to be M.D.'s

(This is fertile ground for a career thread.  I'll flame this later
when I have time.)

* 90% are against arranged marriage in the most traditional sense, but
  many are not opposed to being introduced by parents

There's more, but I'll have to post it when I get my notes from the
convention.

Of the forum: I was surprised to find the number of tolerant parents that
I did.  I think the less-tolerant ones did not speak out as much; I know
that mines didn't.

Of politics:  My father, who's otherwise a fairly reasonable guy, generally
a moderate, who supports Clinton but features Republican-type views on
welfare and the "Land of Opportunity", turned to me the other night
after Pat Buchanan's speech and said, "I agreed with everything he said."

Which, considering Buchanan's views on everything from immigration to
"family values" to gays and lesbians, is pretty horrifying to me.

THIS lack of tolerance, this bleated mantra of "family values" as if
Democrats were familial anarchists, this emphasis on conformity, this
intolerance of homosexuality, THIS ultraconservative viewpoint reminds me
very strongly of traditional Indian culture and what it is about it that
I dislike.

At the forum, some people claimed that American family values are the same
as Indian family values.  That's true, to an extent; American ideal culture
is certainly for strong families.  However, there are strong differences
between the American and Indian ideals, especially in the areas of
individualism and gender roles.  The subjugation of individual wishes to
the family's is selfless, sometimes, but is suffocating in many respects.
The belief that an egalitarian Indo-American male will be a henpecked husband
is a shame.

My dad says, "But Hillary Clinton believes that 12-year-olds should be able
to sue their parents, and that marriage is like slavery."

This has got to appeal to those men who can't handle strong women.  Wording
from a 1973 legal case taken out of context can be twisted into anything
that Pat Buchanan wants it to mean.  I haven't looked up the case, but
I'm willing to bet that in this specific case, the child had been abused
by his/her parents and was suing as an adult for civil damages.  I'm also
willing to bet that Mrs. Clinton likened marriage to bondage in the context
of domestic violence.  Regardless of how obviously easy it is to twist
the truth (Reagan's quote during his speech which he attributed to Abraham
Lincoln wasn't actually written by Lincoln), what I see in this attack on
a very smart lady is an appeal to base sexism, pure and simple.

I am mixing politics with Indian culture because I see similarities in
attitudes between the hard-core right-wingers of the GOP and the traditionalists
of Indian America.

And if I disagree with these beliefs, I'll be damned if I'll subscribe
wholesale to a culture for fear of not propagating it.  It's not a loss to
follow your beliefs; it's a gain.  You don't exist for future generations;
you exist for yourself.  You don't exist to propagate the culture; the
culture exists to enhance your life.

So . . . from those of you who are older: How feasible has your balancing
act been?  I'm not suggesting we throw out the baby with the bathwater;
I'm suggesting we keep the wonderful elements of Indian culture and throw
out the not-so-wonderful ones.

Manish
                                          /-\o /-()  -- -  --   -
   Manish Vij    ::    '89 EX500          \_/ \\/ )  -- -    --
   mvij@ocf.berkeley.edu                       |/_\  -- -  --   - 
   mvij@novell.com                              \_/.  .  . . ........