From: leo@cpd.Tandem.COM (Leo Hejza)
Subject: Re: Please ...
Organization: Tandem Computers Inc., Cupertino CA
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 17:54:34 GMT

In article <C16Dxp.7uB@undergrad.math.waterloo.edu>, gdnikoli@cayley.uwaterloo.ca (Greg Nikolic) writes:
>In article <1993Jan20.052004.28232@fuug.fi> an3159@anon.penet.fi (Megara) writes:
>>Prove to me that there are worthwhile, educated, virile men out there
>>that can enjoy the intellectual and sensual pleasures of a large woman.
>>I'm not a dog, really! My ex-husband says I used to be an 8-1/2 (rating)
>>in my thinner days. So, can someone tell me ... give me hope that there's
>>someone out there who could love me until I get the `thin me' back?
> ^^^^^^^
>Someone? Someone "worthwhile, educated, virile", and presumably someone you
>found attractive. Difficult situation. 
>See, here's the problem: in this world people generally accept a partner at
>least as desirable as themselves. Right or wrong, looks do matter. And being
>healthy, looking slim, is an important component of appearance.
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Perhaps in your book you equate healthy, and looking slim. And it sounds
like you equate these things with appearance. Not all of us do Greg. I
know a number of people who are not "slim" but are in execellent physical
health. Attractive appearance, while important, has far more components
that you are alluding to here. What about the attractive effect that really
liking, and accepting yourself for who you are, has on a person. What about
the effect of being a genuinely likeable person has on ones appearance.

  
>     How badly do you want a "worthwhile, educated, virile" man? Badly enough
>to work hard on improving yourself, your appearance? Wishing idly for a good
>man without doing something about your own situation is a waste of time, in my
>book.

But doing something can mean a lot of different things. If I work on my body
it will sag a little less, and perhaps age a little bit more gracefully,
but if I work on self acceptance, how I relate to and treat others, who
I am as a human being, then these things will improve with age.
 
>     I suppose the good news is, that you *will* be able to find a man who can
>love you and meet your needs no matter your shape and size. The only problem is
>... will _he_ be good enough to meet _your_ standards? I wonder.

Perhaps he will be good enough to meet _HER_ standards. That is for her to say.
You of course, can use you own criteria when selecting a parner.
 
>     If you demand high quality in a partner, you have to be prepared to give
                                                                          ^^^^
>it back equally.
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

No basic argument about needing to give something away in orger to receive it
back, I just disagree with you definition of "IT".

> And that DOES mean physical fitness. A taut, sexy body is a
>very powerful inducement.

So is the companionship, frienship, and love of an individual who accepts both
themself, and you for who you are, and not who you can be.

 And that is simple to achieve....just hard. You need
>a permanent change in diet. That is to say, three square meals a day that are
>high in carbohydrates and protein and very low in saturated fat and artifical
>sugars.  
>     Are you prepared to lose pizza, chips, all the tasty little conveniences?  And then there's exercise. Intense aerobic activity. And I don't mean low-impact"intro-fit" aerobics classes. I mean cycling on stationary bikes, running,     
>squash, whatever it takes... Sweat and exertion, hours a week, for weeks and
>weeks. Eventually you WILL succeed if you want it bad enough. Do you?
>     If you're happy with yourself, great. But sometimes life demands more of
>us than that, if we want more of life. 
>     
>
>>
>>Thanks in advance, fellas.
>>
>>Megara
>


Greg,
I support your right to define, and seek those things which are important to
you as an individual. I do get some buttons pushed though, when you insist that
all of us see things the same way as you do.

Megara,
There are men out here who enjoy the senusal and intellectual pleasures of a woman. Large or small nas nothing to do with it. Keep looking for what you want.
I hope all the responses to you post are from the same feeling level as yours
was, and for what it's worth, stay in touch with Megara, not Megara's dress size.

-- 
Life would be so much simpler if I could just look at the source code.