From: DeadHead@cup.portal.com (Bruce M Ong)
Newsgroups: ba.singles
Subject: Re: Bimbo/Jerk Definitions (Was:Re: Singles Expo in Palo Alto o
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 93 13:06:54 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: ba

>
>     I have directed follow-ups to soc.singles.
>
	I took soc.singles out of the distribution list for this msg. Sheesh.
That group is  a place I NEVER want to be in.
>
>     I did not take notes, but I did acquire Dr. Jerry Murray's definitions.
>Here they are:
>
> Jerk:
>   1) A Superhuman
>      Complex         :  A jerk has a need to feel superior.  He places
>                         an overemphasis on masculinity, competence,
>                         abilities, and anything that makes him stand out.

	I dont see anything wrong with it. An entire body of philosophy
has been developed based on the innate human desire to achieve.  Read 
Friedrich Nietzsche's "Thus Spake Zarathustra." and some of his other
writings. There is a problem when somebody tries to feel superior by stepping
on those around him, stabbing others in the back, etc. But if he is only
competing with himself, I have no problem with that.

>                         Because of his need to feel superior he has an
>                         almost complete inability to accept criticism
>                         from a woman, especially his lady.  When
>                         criticized he retaliates by attackin

	Logical Phallicy (sic). I do not see the connection between somebody
who genuinely is trying to be the best he can be, and his inability to 
listen to criticism. If somebody is really interested in reaching his full
potentials as a humanbeing, then it only is logical that he listens to
criticisms from others and he listens to suggestions from others. A lot of
famous sports stars who are on top of their games have great coaches, you know.

>                         withdrawing. The woman must be strong enough not
>                         to require anything of him beyond his
>                         protestations of prowness, and weak enough not
>                         to threaten his need to be superior.

	Now that's a jerk.

>
>   2) Sissy Fear      :  A jerk is always concerned someone my think he
>                         is a "Sissy."  He has a fear of vulnerable
>                         feelings, such as grief, shame, guilt, and
>                         embarrassment.  He even avoids expressing
>                         positive feelings such as love and tenderness
>                         if he fears their expression will make him
>                         vulnerable.
>
	A lot of people have the sissy fear. That doesnt make them jerks.
It's a *FEAR* -- it happens to both men and women. If you get to know these
people, you'll realize that -- for most of them -- they do yearn to express
their feelings. Some of them are not articulate enough to do so, some of
them lack the emotional tool. But most of them *respond* well to expression
of emotions, grief, guilt, etc. Many people have a wall built to keep them
from *expressing* their 'sissy' feelings. But a lot of people do *respond*
well to such expression from others.

>   3) Lord & Master
>      Orientation     :  A jerk wants to be Lord and Master of the
>                         relationship.  He denies equality between the
>                         sexes and has an inability to accept a woman
>                         as a partner.  He relegates her to "Trophy"
>                         status and thinks of her as a possession -
>                         valuable when giving, a nuisance when needing.
>                         He treats a relationship as a Sole
>                         Proprietorship, not a Partnership.

	Now that's a jerk. 
>
>   4) Bedroom-Kitchen
>      Focus           :  A jerk depersonalizes a woman by reducing her
>                         value to what she can do for him in the bedroom
>                         or the kitchen.  He only sees value in her if
>                         she can provide him sexual gratification or
>                         aid and comfort.  He is unable to relate to a
>                         woman as a whole person and value her as a
>                         human being.
>
	Ahem. that's pretty jerky too.

>
> Bimbo:
>   1) Value Fluff     :  A bimbo has materialistic values.  She is
>                         attracted to a man for superficial reasons
>                         such as appearance, wealth, and the degree of
>                         excitement he generates.

	Nothing wrong with that. Very few people in this world is not
materialistic. I know I am. totally -- but I also know that I like the
spiritual stuff, too. It's a balance. Even if she is attracted to a man
for those superficial values, I still dont see anything wrong. One woman
told me her mom once said to her, "If you want to get married, get married
to one of the 3 types: 1) HE is totally rich -- but that's all he has or
2) He is totally handsome -- but that's about all or 3) He is totally talented.
"

	I think that's a pretting interesting advice.
>
>   2) Sugar Daddy
>      Hunger          :  A bimbo feels incomplete, frightened, and
>                         inadequate by herself.  She wants a relationship
>                         so someone can "take care of here."  This
>                         overdependence on a man leads to a failure to
>                         develop life skills.  She lacks personal goals
>                         and ambition and craves a life of comfort and
>                         ease.  She doesn't like to expend disciplined
>                         effort or defer gratification.

	For every woman who is looking for a sugar daddy there is a sugar
daddy to be had. Just the way it is...  There are men who have a pattern of
being the sugar-daddy. THey operate best in a relationship as as sugar-daddy.
As long as they are happy together, who is to say it's a bad deal...

>
>   3) Sex Appeal
>      Addiction       :  A bimbo is addicted to the need to be desirable.
>                         This is manifested by an obsessive emphasis on
>                         her physical appearance, especially those
>                         features which make her "sexy".  Her greatest
>                         fear is the fear of losing her attractiveness
>                         and being unwanted and alone.
>
	Speaking as a guy, I like women who pay attention to their physical
appearances. But being obssesive about it is too neurotic for me to deal with.

>   4) Body Swapping   :  A bimbo is willing to swap her body for the
>                         comfort she craves.  She treats her body as a
>                         commodity giving it in trade for the favors she
>                         desires.  She packages her sex appeal and markets
>                         herself as a product then looks for a "buyer"
>                         using her body as "bait" to catch a man.
>
	Well. It's supply and demand issue. Something has to be said about
those men who treat women only as sex objects.
>-- 
>    Reggie elected into Hall of Fame!    +---------------------------------+
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> /   //  W. David Rohwer     // Amiga ++---------------------------------+
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