HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU ARE JENNY. PLEASE
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 20:11:31 GMT

In article <BxvAzD.431@cs.dal.ca> Steve Franklin writes:

>I am about to do what I abhor the most... Post email. You see, I feel I 
>should reply to this in email, but jennie won't let me. If I mail back,
>I will be reported to my sysadmin for harassing her (?!?!?!) and will 
>undergo supreme torture and a violent yet slow death.

Your time has just about expired, Franklin.  If you have any last words
you'd like to be remembered by, better post them today.  You've made a
name for yourself, as I suspected you would.  In the future, when some
assholic lackwit barrages this newsgroup with insipid, information-free
drivel, your name will come up as the standard by which the newcomer
will be measured.  Debates will doubtless cloud the issue: "Yeah, I
I agree this moron is a hopeless case, I know he can't find his ass
with a roadmap, I know his posts read like spellchecked line noise, but,
dammit, he's no Steve Franklin!"

Congratulations, and enjoy your day.

>aasdSteveFranklin-Subliminal Psychology Major.ks;dlasBlueJaysRULEkasdfeahsdbfl

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "She Broke My Heart So I Busted Her Jaw" 
rickg@netcom.com |   --- One of those country songs you never hear anymore
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING
Keywords: I HATE DICKHEADS
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 13:11:40 GMT

In article <lgh9bpINNcmu@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:

>
>Nope.  You talk too much.  Shut your trap, bitch.
>
>Dan is basically looking for a woman that knows when it's time to
>talk and knows when it's time to suck.  If you *ever* think it's
>time for the former, you're wrong.
>

Actually, I wasn't talking when I posted the message to which you are
responding.  I was typing.  I touch type.  So I don't even need to turn
my head to face the keyboard.

Being a fairly well-coordinated type, I'm quite capable of doing two things
at once.  In other words, it's possible for me to post a retort and suck
AT THE SAME TIME.

Jenny "Making the most of my new status" Gutbezahl


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.religion.kibology
From: asb@media.mit.edu (Amy Bruckman)
Subject: Kibo's .signature
Keywords: I HATE CROSSPOSTERS
Organization: MIT Media Laboratory
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 20:27:34 GMT

>_____________________________________________________________________________
>
>"100% gist-free!"  -- Amy S. Brockman on Kibo's .signature.
>                      Compliment... or CONSPIRACY?
>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I've made it into Kibo's .signature!  I'm famous!  Kibo, I'm touched--
you even remembered to spell my name wrong!
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Debugging the group
Date: 22 Nov 1992 23:20:30 -0500
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
NNTP-Posting-Host: cathy.na.cs.yale.edu

alrobins@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Amanda Robinson) writes:
>My vote: he stays.  Whether you consider him a genius or a nut, he has the
>right to express his opinion.  If you don't like it, edit your "Kill" file
>or just junk his articles as they come in.

Peeve: First Amendment geeks.  Usenet is not a right.  But even if it were a
right that would mean nothing.  That someone has the right to post pathetic
nonsense doesn't mean that he should post pathetic nonsense.  Many things
which are mildly obnoxious are also legal.  Should all of them be done?
Obviously not.

This confusion between legality and desirability seems rather common.  It
also manifests itself in people who attempt to outlaw everything which they
find undesirable.

> SOMEONE'S got to stand up for him.

Automatically defending someone might be a good idea, if the person in
question had something novel to say.  But defending people who post boring
gibberish encourages only the worst segment of the local population.

--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
	Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.
From: dinn@ug.cs.dal.ca (Michael 'Moose' Dinn)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Landlord Peeves!! (was Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING)
Date: 17 Nov 92 22:35:48 GMT
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada

In article <Bxp385.6yD@cs.dal.ca> williams@ug.cs.dal.ca (Nevin E. Williams) writes:
>Curtis honey... (btw: my old landlord was named Curtis, and he's evil)
>It'll take more than a .sig flame to get on my bad side.   

Yes, I agree. Curtis the landlord was evil.

I lived with Nev for 2 months -- he was there for only one of them. After he
left, the interesting things started happening. You can imagine my suprise
when one Tuesday I got a knock on the door at 8 am (!!) and being the nice
person I am, I answered in sweatshirt/pants, as politely as I could.

"Whaddya want?"

"We've come to take your toilet."

"huh?"

"You know, your toilet. The thing-ah-ma-bob you sit on."

"oh."

So while I went and IRCed for the morning (class was looking unattractive
that day) Curtis the evil landlord and his short
henchman-whose-name-I-never-did-figure-out came in with wrench, hammer, etc,
and removed my toilet.

This was not a problem until I needed to relieve myself if that god-awful
can of lemonade I drank that morning. Venturing into the washroom, there
resided a hole about 4 inches in diameter, of which I had no hope of hitting
unless I laid on top of it.

All I can say is thank you for McDonalds  :-)

--
 Michael Dinn, CS Student  |  dinn@ug.cs.dal.ca, dinn@appliedmicro.ns.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING
Keywords: I HATE DICKHEADS
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 22:15:05 GMT

In article <BxqpBH.3EA@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:

>
>	Sorry Jim, but much as I like Jenny's attempts, Banta and JZ are
>the flame-masters of alt.peeves; Geoff Miller can be a very close third

WHAT!  You don't think I'm *the* very best, not even second or third.

Well, you kow what, Dan, you're a stupid-head.  A doo-doo face even.

Hah!!

Jenny "those lesson's from Steve are paying off, now, yeah" Gutbezahl

-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: BDIVOs in general
Date: 20 Nov 92 18:15:46 GMT
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



Sonja writes:

>I am pleased to hear, Charles, that you were a completely perfect
>driver the very first time you were ever behind the wheel of a car.
>I cower in the shadow of your greatness, and fervently hope that
>I may someday achieve a small measure of your comptetence.

It has nothing to do with whether Charles was a perfect driver right
from Day One, Sonja.  Inexperience is well and good -- even Juan
Fangio and Jackie Stewart started out as novices, after all -- but the 
point is that if you're so timid behind the wheel that you're nervous 
about even *changing lanes,* then you're not ready to be out there on 
the highway.  You're not doing yourself any favors by placing yourself
in a driving environment in which you're skittish.  

You'll have to face the freeways and expressways eventually, of course, 
but you'd be well advised to stick to secondary roads with slower
speeds and less traffic until you build your confidence a bit.


>Incidentally, I have not yet even come close to causing an
>accident.  I've never even been honked at. 

By your own admission, you just got your license!  The meager
experience you've managed to accumulate thus far is statistically
insignificant.


>Frankly, no one has in any way indicated that they were displeased 
>with my driving, although I fear that the driver of the car behind
>me when I missed an opening yesterday may have been slightly
>peeved.

The key word here is "indicated."  Some people are too polite or
unassertive to make their feelings known, particularly drivers
is less urban areas.  That doesn't mean that you can blithely
dismiss the possibility of others being annoyed at you.  If you're 
not an experienced driver, then it naturally follows that you're 
not experienced at watching for such signals and nuances.



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:17497 alt.folklore.urban:29354
From: phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: No trespassing
Date: 23 Nov 92 00:58:05 GMT
Organization: a2i network

In article <1ekvdoINNck@darkstar.UCSC.EDU> carolo@cse.ucsc.edu (Carol Osterbrock) writes:
>
>
>Now I myself have to say that as near as I can tell every square inch
>of this great country of ours belongs to somebody, and unless you know
>them it is probably a bad idea to go out shooting deer on their land,
>but apparently if somebody only puts up a sign that says "No
>Trespassing", they can't have your 10-pt buck, and if they put up a
>sign that says "Posted no trespassing by C. Osterbrock" they can.
>And the law says they have to be every quarter mile or something along
>the property line, too.

"Property Ownership" is one of the great fictions of our species: Property
belongs to whomoever had the better weapons the last time the property
was seriously contested.  My house sits on land that I bought from 
someone who bought it from someone who bought it from someone who
.... was given the land by the King of Spain.  Now, how did the King
get the land?  Feh.

   As I went walking, <mumble>
   I saw a sign that, said No Trespassing,
   But on the other side, it didn't say nothing,
   That side was made for you and me.

       W. W. Guthrie

Phil "I dunno, must have been the roses" Gustafson
-- 
Phil Gustafson <phil@rahul.net>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donp@twg.com (Don Pette)
Subject: Re: How 'bout a CatFight
Organization: WollyWorld, Palo Alto, CA
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 18:39:09 GMT


In article <By1p6w.Doo@cscns.com> rks@cscns.com (Island's Child) writes:
>donp@twg.com (Don Pette) 'the cross Nolan must bear' writes:
>
      My witty reparte' deleted, thank you
>
>
>      Are you the same Don Pette who used to work at HP in Santa Clara
>in the mid-eighties?
>
>      Someone knows you in Colorado.
>
 
There exists the possibility that I am the person of which you make
reference. Of course, there's also the possibility that I am not he
at all. There's many a Pette in these here states. Why, Pette's almost
as common as...Vertck...Verktky...Alex. So lets clear this mystery up by
answering a simple question. Does this have anything to do with kids?


-Don 'the frost Nolan must wear' Pette
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mikey has Dain Bramage
Date: 16 Nov 92 18:49:36 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

OK, now wait a minnit here....... I destroyed approximately 63% of my brain
cells on one particular week-long binge back in in 1972 (I think), and even
*I* can follow this one....

In article <1992Nov16.081039.8920@ac.dal.ca>, 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
|> In article <1992Nov15.201814.13525@midway.uchicago.edu>, thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank) writes:
|> > In article <1992Nov15.150627.8904@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
|> >>> !Peeve: The thought of cross-posting Mikey's alt.tasteless hazing stories
|> >>>         in response to the next time he claims frats don't haze.

"hazing stories".  It never says "hazing stories from Mikey's fraternity".

|> >>Yawwwnnnn. Ted, I've never written a hazing story to alt.tasteless
|> [Ted forgets to include the "I don't haze" disclaimer. How convienent.]
|> >>I suppose lying must be in your genes, and that's why you make 
|> >>such a good lawyer. 

"I've never written a hazing story to alt.tasteless".  It never says, "I've
never written a hazing story about my fraternity".

|> [stroy deleted. Bandwith saved. Birds sing].

Or even a hazing stroy.

|> Ted you idiot, that was about another fraternity entirely! Nice to see you 
|> editing my posts so creatively. You'll notice I have NOTHING WHATEVER in
|> the way of a part in this story. I'm not even a member in this fraternity,
|> you idiot! Christ.

Now it says "Um... obviously, I *did* write a hazing story in alt.tasteless,
but it's not about *my* fraternity so it doesn't count."

|> Do go away Ted. You're really starting to sound like a fanatic. Hey, maybe
|> you could take your show on the road and get poor people in trailer parks
|> to give you money. Let's face it, it's a more honourable profession than
|> the legal trade.

And sums up with the ObAdHominemArgument.  Typical.

Peeve: I can't believe I've stepped in this.  Anybody got an old napkin that
       I can wipe my heel off with?

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|I don't know what to do. I'm always in the dark.  |
|I'm livin' in a powder keg and givin' off sparks. |
|                             --Bonnie Tyler       |
+--------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,rec.motorcycles
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Clearly the VICTIM OF LIBERALISM!!!!
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 22:25:13 GMT

nolan@twg.com writes:
] 
] Peeve: BrainDeadIdiotVehicleOperators

{put a [tm] on that, and you can 'own it'!}

] Any selfrighteous operator of a DangerousSelfPropelledWeapon is a threat to
] the well being of all other vehicle operators on the road. Gratuitous
] tailgating is as bad as gratuitous roadhogging. Both types of drivers belong
] anywhere but on the road.

NOW HOLD ON RIGHT THERE BUD!

When was the LAST TIME you ever saw anyone
have an accidnet with a 155mm SP?

JUST because YOU LIBERALS will not allow us our GOD GIVEN
CONSTITUTIONALLY PROTECTED RIGHTS to owna dn Maintain
Self Propelled Artillery, AAA, and SAM units, is NO REASON
to go complaining about folks who DRIVE THEM!!!!

I say that those WimpLiberalDriversOfGodDamFeriegnJunk
would think MORE THAN TWICE about being Stoopid when
they KNEW that folks were able to target them with
anything from a 20mm ChainGun and UP!

But will YOU WimpLiberalTypes Support the AMERICAN ECONOMY?????

ciao
drieux

ps: I still say that a soviet ZSU-4-23 makes a lovely
duck hunting blind....


-- 
Modern Day Problems:
Little Miss Muffett, sat on a ToughtIt,
Eating her Kurds and Weighs, Along came a Spider,
and she drove off with the Neat Guy with a HOT CAR!
From: bill@wabworld.atl.ga.us (Angus MacPeevy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Halfwits.
Date: 17 Nov 92 00:30:37 GMT
Organization: Shaque d'Amour

smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:

> 	That was below the belt.


I doubt if Sean has anything below the belt anyway, in which case dre 
scored a 'miss.'  Sorry, dre.

BTW, is that pronounced "dree" or "dray?"

Inquisitively,
  Bill, the adjunct scrutinizer

--
"I'm not only the Hair Club president, but I'm also a client."
  -Sy Sperling
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:17188 rec.motorcycles:39408
From: ericm@microunity.com (Eric Murray)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,rec.motorcycles
Subject: Re: fucking BDI motorcycle drivers
Date: 17 Nov 92 00:33:07 GMT
Organization: MicroUnity Systems Engineering, Inc., Sunnyvale, CA

In article <1e9bk3INN8tn@roche.csl.sri.com> mhunt@csl.sri.com (Mike Hunt) writes:
>
>I have a method that drives tailgaters nuts, but is not
>so dangerous as slowing to 20 MPH on the expressway (but
>it requires a vehicle with at least moderate acceleration
>to be truly annoying):

[...]
>  3) If they keep their distance, the games up, but if
>     they try to close again, then (this requires superb
>     timing) downshift (or hit the brakes) while they are
>     still accelerating -- causing them to have to SLAM on
>     their brakes.  8*O  
>     (Note: If you slow down too soon or too late, the 
>     effect is diminished. Also, only the really aggressive
>     tailgaters are forced to SLAM on the brakes.)

Yea, and it really dimishes the effect when they run you down from
the back and CRUSH YOU LIKE AN OVERRIPE TOMATO:

   "But officer, I didn't SEE him".


I'm sometimes tempted to slow down in front of tailgaters, 
but using the throttle is a lot safer than depending on someone
who you already KNOW to be a bozo (they're tailgating you, right?)
to see you in time and slow down.

If you really must annoy them before you use your superior
hp/weight ratio to escape, adjust your back brake's brakelight
switch so that it turns on the brake light with just a slight
movement of the lever before the brake comes on.  Then use it
to turn on the brake light and make them THINK you're slowing down
without actually putting yourself in danger.




--
Eric Murray   ericm@microunity.com   Ride fast, die young, wear black leather.
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 10:22:42 GMT
 <Bxx79v.AD4@nic.umass.edu>
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00 beta rel2

In article <Bxx79v.AD4@nic.umass.edu>, Jenny Gutbezahl writes:

> >> In article <lgh9bpINNcmu@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
> >> 
> >> >Dan is basically looking for a woman that knows when it's time to
> >> >talk and knows when it's time to suck.  If you *ever* think it's

> To which I responded quite simply and honestly:

Simply, because you had no other choice, and honestly? Who cares!

> >> Actually, I wasn't talking when I posted the message to which you are
> >> responding.  I was typing.  I touch type.  So I don't even need to turn

> And Dackie-Boy complains:
> 
> >Ye ghods.  Jenny, that sort of dimwit pedantry went out with
> >75baud teletypes!  Get a grip, woman!

> I don't see that this is being pedantic.  I was merely pointing out

I see.

You would be the type of maverick who would point out to people
that 'I called an hotel about a reservation I had made' is
_correct_ english usage.  Most other people call it pedantry.
Those who lack nouce call it 'wanking.'

Your lack of vision is nowhere near as unimportant as your lack
of self worth.

> >People who say "I can do multiple
> >things at once!" are a source of constant amusement for me. As if

> Jeepers, boy!  I warn't gloating.  I think most people can do
> two things at once.  Some can do seven or eight.  It's no big
> deal.  I was simply pointing out that Andy's options of post or
> suck were not mutually exclusive.

Boy?  Sheesh.  34 [and a half] and you refer to me as a 'boy'.
How quaint.

Gloating?  Did I mention gloating?  No.  I pointed out how
unpeeved I was at various people's ejaculations that they can do
'more than one thing at once.' You provided the impetus for that
!peeve:  I thought it stood by itself.  You took it _personally_?
No smoke without fire, Jenny-my-girl.

> Why I'm quite certain many people could do as much.  I wouldn't be surprised
> in the least to discover that you posted the flame to which I am responding
> while plyaing the skin flute of one of your Ozzies.

A bit tepid, Jenny?  Can't you bring up your level of flaming
past genitals?  And surely the ostracisation of homosexuals is
olde worlde discrimination, in these enlightened times, so your
allegory is both UN-PC, and uninteresting.  Try another clue from
your vast repertoire of three!

> >Your current status could be coelesced down to "Lost and
> >bewildered in Usenet"

> Well, seeing as you seem just as bewildered as I, I hope you're enjoying
> the barrel.

Only to your precious uninformed way of thinking, dear.

I think it's time you changed hands, or risk clitoral burnout.

Dac
--
dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING
Date: 22 Nov 92 06:41:49 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Andrew Clayton) writes:
>Boy?  Sheesh.  34 [and a half] and you refer to me as a 'boy'.
>How quaint.

Uh, Dac?  I think what you were searching for is:

"Boy?  Missy, I got a yard o' dick, a washtub o' balls, and 'nuff
hair on my ass to weave a carpet and you're callin' me boy?!"

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
".....what I was encouraging women to do is to
get a life, not necessarily a career. I think
a career is a poor substitute for a life."
                                               -- Germaine Greer
From: shampton@jarthur.claremont.edu (Scott M Hampton)
Subject: Re: Genetic aberations and armchair existe
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 03:21:38 GMT

In article <lgqplaINNf9e@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM writes:
>
>Something that's always mystified me are those signs that say, "Posted - No
>Trespassing."  I don't know about the rest of you, but "No Trespassing" pretty
>much says it all for me.  Unless it has some addition meaning that I'm not
>aware of, all the word "posting" adds is a notification that somebody put
>(i.e., "posted" the sign there).  So the end result is a sign that means,
>"Somebody Put This Sign Here - Keep Out."  Which is silly, because I can
>*see* that somebody put the sign there!

Oh dear, you have mistaken the purpose of that sign. You see the sign and
you think, "Gosh, somebody put a sign up on the fence to mark off that land
as private!"  But the person who put the sign up was thinking, "The next
time those god damned kids come neck here I'm a gonna put a 12 gauge size
load of rock salt up their ass!" The wording is specially designed to make
it totally clear what up.

Now, if were to assume nominally functional intelligence in people, they
would realize that the FENCE - the BARBED WIRE FENCE - the ELECTRIFIED BARBED
WIRE FENCE was originally installed to keep the outside people out and the
inside livestock in. But no, at 2am I've had my Remington while I explained
to people who hadn't noticed that, yes, indeed, this is "FUCKING PRIVATE
PROPERTY!" After a few occasions of this I did some research and discovered
that the law that applies to these marking said, way back in 18xx, that it
was necessary to "...clearly post that trespassing will be prosecuted." Of
course, some cumwad had gotten off the rap because they had ignored a sign
that merely said, "Private Property". It obviously does not say "Posted:
Private Property." And there you are.

Just be glad the signs don't read:  "Clearly Posted Private Property".

I got one that said, "Trespassers will be Persecuted."
-- 

Scott M. Hampton             Woulffe            shampton@jarthur.claremont.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves