From: anon.30@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: relatives
Date: 31 Dec 1992 21:29:57 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.30@pax.tpa.com.au
NNTP-Posting-Host: flash.pax.tpa.com.au


I've been thinking about writing to various of my relatives.  Because of the
stupid holiday season.  because they keep writing *me* because of the stupid
holiday season (we are not fond of these holidays if you haven't figured that
out, but then I think we have reason for that)  So anyway, I wrote one aunt
this letter -- where I told her that I had been abused.  by people in the 
family.  didn't say who.  said some other stuff.  

wasn't sure I wanted to send it.  so kept it.  don't think I want to send it.
too much a chance she talk to the abusers (she doesn't know who they are,
but they are her sisters (and possibly brother) so its likely.  Tonight,
thinking about how to find out stuff.  like where people slept at grand-
mothers house. so, we got this idea that owuldn't get out of head & got up
to write it, so we could sleep.

wrote DIFFERENT letter to aunt.  almost totally fake.  said I was doing a 
sort of research project, that started for a class but I'm continuing it for
personal interest (well -- I first 'member I was a survivor in a class -- 
and started trying to find out stuff -- and I'm continuing that work for
personal interest) and its basically about my family & how my family was
different from people's I've met -- 'cause we had pretty close-knit 
extended family, lots of aunts/uncles/cousins all living inthe same area
and constantly in and out of each others lives.

asked her if she would mind talking to me about her growing up -- especially
when it had to do with me -- asked her some specific question, like what
the bedroom layout of grandma's house was -- how often I was there & stuff.
think we like it.  said she could ask other family people too.  said that if
we really going to make big project of it should organize some set of quesitos
and send to everybody.  asked her what she thought of that.  think we made it
sound like something vaguely academic, vaguely just from ongoing personal
curiosity.  don't *think* sounds like we trying to find out what the abuse 
was.  hope it produces some benefit.  think will trying write to other family
people -- maybe wait until get 'sponse.  

this aunt is apossible supporter, but really not sure.  oh, and we said 
stupid things we didn't mean about feeling bad for missing Christmas & sorry
we won't be able to make it back for a visit any time soon (said we couldn't 
afford it -- and we can't -- emotionally anyway)  was fun saying things
that are true -- but in a way that they will be interpreted differently.

we had mostly cut off contact with family.  but we keep complaining about it
because we want to ask them about stuff -- won't totally trust what they
tell us -- but we could use some other info about stuff than our not even
thinking about being clear memories.  So we do what good for us -- which 
is not real contact with family, finally not trying for real contact, we
knew how fake that letter is.  but -- maybe get something useful from it.

maybe go away & write other letter now.  other letter to here, but differnt
'cause it needs spoilers.

us peoples
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
anon.30@pax.tpa.com.au    (prefered address)

an1308@anon.penet.fi
anon-1410@twwells.com


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