From: mgundeko@pcserver2.Naitc.Com (Murthy Gundekota)
Subject: The Gundekota File: Olympian Effort
Organization: Somewhere near Chicago
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 15:50:02 GMT



The Gundekota File-Entry#4: Olympian Effort
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Generally speaking, there are only two male prototypes in the world,
according to my friend Cranium. They are: black muscular and white
blonde. The rest of the men, according to Cranium, are puny wimps. You
can say, as I will, Cranium is a female, feminist, from India. Or
Cranium could be a homosexual. I don't know for sure because I
correspond with Cranium by e-mail. The upbeat is, Indian olympians are
neither black muscular nor tall blonde, according to Cranium, and so
don't have a chance; so why blame them? Seems like an idler's argument
to me like that guy who sang ``Sittin' on the Docks and Watching Ships
Come and Go''  

The quest for perfection is the essence of Olympics, if the IOC for
the Indolent Olympic Committee (of India) didn't already know. The
Greek tradition is not meant for ordinary mortals. I wonder whether
Greeks won major medals in the olympics. Anyway, I don't want to dig
deep into the historical roots because olympics the way they are
currently are really hi-tech. So let's visit the laboratory of
Dr.Q in the IOC compound, of course, a top secret place in Delhi.

``Howdie Dr.Q! It's nice to see your facade, if not your face. I
guess, not every one can be a 007. Tell me, why is this wing of IOA 
such a secret place? I have to pay quite a chunk of money to the
sports ministry to be here.''

``Secret, my fly. Take a look around. Do you see anything you haven't
seen back in states in your university?''

``No. But what's that thing moving under the table cloth?''

``Oh, that's the belly button of the morning angel. You
see...pssst...every one needs a wake up call.''

``I get it. Wink. Wink. Take me to the showers.''

``You mean the pool. Always a pleasure.''

``Forget it. Let's watch the athletes on the monitors.''

``Oh, those monitors. Those are not for athletes. Those are the
communication devices RAW uses to keep in touch with us.''

``But why?''

``You don't get it, do you? We are top secret for them.''

``All Right Dr.Q. Let's watch some athletes in action.''

``Okay. There goes Scindia's daughter. Cute little pumpkin'. She has
just turned 19. And already she can swim, dive and synchronize
everything.''

``But, Dr.Q...isn't that kinda too unfocussed?''

``Hey, I just do what they tell me to do. These are VIP's. They know
what they want and I give it to them. No questions.''

``So where are the non-VIP common athletes that represent our country
in the olympics.''

``Who? Oh, those folks. They must be out there in the midan. Sun is
good for them. By the way, meet Pritiyanka. She is the rising olympian
in the Gandhi family. Any day, she could be winning a gold.''

``But where?''

``In the IOC olympics, of course.''

``What are IOC olympics?''

``But why? Indoor Original Courageous olympics.''

``I see. What's your operating budget?''

``Well, if everything goes well we should be able to train the Indian
contingent starting next year.''

``I gotta go Dr.Q. By the way, are your children being trained here?''

``No chance pal. I gotta be a socialist parliamentarian for that.''