From: mcoffin@IASTATE.EDU (Marie A Coffin)
Newsgroups: alt.usage.english,soc.bi
Subject: Re: Out of the closet (was Re: Dictionary of American and British Usage)
Keywords: different definition
Date: 13 Apr 92 14:34:49 GMT
Article-I.D.: IASTATE.1992Apr13.093449
Reply-To: mcoffin@IASTATE.EDU (Marie A Coffin)
Organization: Iowa State University

In article <1992Apr11.155500.28826@macc.wisc.edu>, anderson@macc.wisc.edu (Jess
Anderson) writes:

>                 [previous quotes deleted]
> I doubt that I can define it very rigorously, but I think
> the most common usage refers to lesbian, gay, and bisexual
> people accepting -- primarily in our own minds, but by
> extension also referring to public perceptions of us -- that
> our sexuality is what it is, prior social conditioning to
> the contrary notwithstanding.  It's the primary thrust of
> the Queer Nation slogan, "We're here; we're queer; get used
> to it!"
> 
> Coming out in that sense, probably originally derived from
> the debutante tradition, means presenting yourself *as you
> are*, the devil take the hindmost if someone doesn't like
> it.
> 
> Further extensions include such things as admitting publicly
> that you have HIV infection, "outing" in the sense of
> others revealing your secrets, and many other (often
> controversial) contexts.
> 
> The closet, in this context, is where the light of truth
> does not shine, the sanctuary of illusions, etc.
> 
> -- 
> Jess Anderson <> Madison Academic Computing Center <> University of Wisconsin
> Internet: anderson@macc.wisc.edu <-best, UUCP:{}!uwvax!macc.wisc.edu!anderson
> NeXTmail w/attachments: anderson@yak.macc.wisc.edu  Bitnet: anderson@wiscmacc
> Room 3130 <> 1210 West Dayton Street / Madison WI 53706 <> Phone 608/262-5888


This is closer than previous suggestions, but still not quite how I have heard
the phrase used.  "Coming out of the closet" does _not_ refer to accepting
one's
sexuality.  It refers to revealing one's sexual preference to another.  We
have,
for example, National Coming-Out Day, a day for gay, lesbian and bisexaul
people to declare their preferences.  Gays and lesbians frequently do this by
stages:  one might hear the phrase "I came out to my parents last year",
meaning
that last year the speaker told his parents he was gay.  Although it is
frequently shortened to coming out, the full phrase is "coming out of the
closet."  

I have no authority to cite here, but I have always assumed that the
"closet" did indeed refer (metaphorically) to a small and confining place.  I
have never before heard a suggestion that it referred to a public toilet, and I
very much doubt that it does, as the phrase is (apparently) American in origin,
and toilets are never called closets here.  I believe "coming out of the
closet"
stems from the use of closet as an adjective meaning secret or hidden, which led
to the phrases "closet homosexual" and "closet queen", which in turn led to
"coming out of the closet".  I'd like to know which usage came first -- if
anyone has information on this point, please send e-mail.

I believe that coming out originally referred only to sexual orientation.  In
recent years, I have also noticed its being used to denote revealing other
things about oneself.  For example, I recently overheard one acquaintance
telling another that he had "come out" to his father, meaning that his dad now
knew that the speaker liked to play bondage games with his girlfriend.  So
coming out now refers generally to revealing to another person something that
is personal and was previously hidden.

Does anyone else agree with me, or this only how the phrase is used here in
the midwest?  Incidentally, I don't believe that "devil take the hindmost"
was correctly used here, but that's probably the topic for another controversy.

Marie Coffin
Xref: sparky alt.usage.english:3031 soc.bi:4485