HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: cfg@cray.com (Cindy Glass)
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 27 Aug 92 15:58:52 CDT

In article <1992Aug26.142059.12441@dgbt.doc.ca> michele@dgbt.doc.ca (Michele Guillet) writes:
>In article <1992Aug25.222935.684@news.acns.nwu.edu> drmax@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Marianna Max) wrote:
>>I can't say that it took any of the kind of life experience you guys talk
>>about for me to come to this conclusion, actually my first realization that
>>I simply was much better off writing my own script came to me in 9th grade
>>(I think I was mostly living that way all along anyway but it was my first
>>concious realization that not everyone did this). My mom is definately not
>>this way herself, she tries to please everyone in
>
>I don't remember when I started to think that I was better to be in control
>of my own life, or when I started to believe that I would always want
>to be in a position not to depend on anyone else. I think it started 
>really early, I was somewhat of a tomboy as a child and my parents
>were hoping for a nice little girl. 

I don't think that I ever knew that there was a 'difference' or that 
'women were supposed to depend on someone else'.  I came along after 
my folks had 5 boys - we lived on a farm, so what ever needed to be 
done everybody did to the best of their ability until the job was over.  
I know that my Mother was somewhat disappointed that I didn't take to 
frilly dresses and prefered jeans and climbing trees.  But hey, look at 
all the money that was saved by giving me my brothers 'hand me downs'!!  :-)

>And my parents never quite accepted that their daugther became an
>engineer. Not a profession for a woman. My father eventually got used to the idea.

My family wasn't too thrilled about my joining the National Guard either - 
my life!  For 2 days of 'training' I had food money for the month while
I went to school the rest of the time and still worked a couple of part
time jobs.  My brothers tried to talk me out of working for Cray too - 
at the time, it was a start up company and "just how many of these things 
could the world use anyway?!"  That was *MANY* years ago!!

>I have been living alone since I can afford it and there are a lot of things
>I like about living alone. I have a house and a dog and have never been married
>or in a bad relationship.

Some of us are luckier than others.

Cindy 

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: gerg@netcom.com (Greg Andrews)
Subject: Re: Where the best posts come from
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 21:25:35 GMT
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Keywords: intelligence insight

(Kiran Wagle) writes:
>(Aahzmandius) writes:
>>
>>9.1 on the Suckup Scale.
>
>No, Aahz, this is an easy ten.  You better recalibrate your SuckUpMeter...
>

Ah so.  Is THIS the "Amazing Ronco Suck-O-Meter" I've heard so much about?


-- 
 .------------------------------------------------------------------.
 |  Greg Andrews   |       UUCP: {amdahl,claris}!netcom!gerg        |
 |                 |   Internet: gerg@netcom.COM                    |
 `------------------------------------------------------------------'
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Lurkers...
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 07:49:08 GMT

johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) inquires:
>as Diamond is going to drop us when she meets someone from the University.  
*laugh*

>Read anything by james.dutton and Anglewing, especially the cute little
>sayings she puts next to her signature.
*laugh*

>One more bit of advice. Kiran is a man.  O.K.  We've all asked Trygve how
>he pronounces his name (where's that guy with the FAQ), but some of us
>probably don't how Kiran pronounces his name.  Kiran?

If i told ya, i would lose the pleasure of hearing all the creative
attempts.  (Actually some years ago a friend mispronounced it in such
a sonorous way I decided never to correct her.  Have lost touch with
her, alas.)

But it's like most people pronounce the Japanese beer.

-- 
"(2) In southeastern Africa, the Wart Hog is called Indhlovudawani, a
 name which means 'Oh, bother, there's that awful animal again.'"
 ..................................Will Cuppy, _HT Attract the Wombat_
-- 
Kiran Wagle     <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>     (812) 335-0420
From: diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Desperation (was Re: Commitment--The C-word?)
Date: 31 Aug 92 21:55:54 GMT
Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.

In article <kiran.715217790@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu> kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>>diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
>>
>>Anyway, I found this post interesting, because somebody pointed out
>>to me recently that I've been doing exactly what's described above;
>>interpreting interest as 'desperation' and pursuing only people
>>who weren't acting interested.  
>
>Did this get you any relationships?

Actually, it does work a surprising amount of the time.  Many people that
don't *act* interested turn out to be, and are merely too shy or too worried
about giving offense to act on their impulses.  I do a lot of the pursuing,
but that doesn't mean I wind up doing all of the- er- relating once the
relationship has actually begun.  I wish it *didn't* work as much of the
time as it does, because I might have given it up by now.

>I would guess it is
>becuse for some unfathomed reason, you  do not _want_ a relationship.
>(Of course, if pursuing ppl who are not interested gets you satisfying
>relationships, then clearly my theory is out to lunch.) 

The problem is, it does get me relationships, but usually not ones that
are ultimately satisfying.  Since the people I often find myself dating
aren't interested enough in a steady relationship for their interest to
overcome their shyness, inertia, etc., these people are either
*really* introverted, or *really* self-sufficient, or whatever.  (Not
that being self-sufficient is a flaw, as everyone's mentioned, but people
who are totally self-sufficient don't need partners by definition).  
I might be willing to believe that I secretly don't want a relationship, but
I'm not sure I'd be as convinced that I secretly want only unsatisfying
relationships.  (I guess the answer might be that I'm secretly afraid
of commitment, so I seek out people who are even more afraid of it than
I am, but I don't think so).

>>(And any rehabilitation suggestions for a sufferer)? 
>
>Start paying attention to ppl who are interested in you?

It's possible to change my actions, but it's hard to change my perceptions.

>-- 
>"Frogs are so greedy that two frogs sometimes attempt to swallow each
> other.  According to the Law of Swallowed Bodies, it can't be done."
> .................Will Cuppy, footnote in _How to Attract The Wombat_
>-- 
>Kiran Wagle     <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>     (812) 335-0420

				--Diamond
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: Seesters, I want the seesters.
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 13:13:30 GMT

In article <4085@moscom.UUCP> wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien) writes:
>james.j.dutton (jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com) wrote:
>:  Oh sure lead the guy around(as if a ring in the nose). Over hill,
>: through yonder trail, up over the log, swim that damn, lift that barge,
>: and right at the climax(its a literature term) of the story - Wham, Bam,
>: gotta go, hasta, chow, exit stage left, I'm outta here even.
>: It's no wonder guys are(shhhh) S-E-N-S-I-T-I-V-E.
>
>Ahh... S-E-N-S-I-T-I-V-E like a bruised elbow, hmm?

Watch as I magically respond to not one. not two, but three posts
at once:
B-I-N-G-O.
Mr Crabbats would be the husband of the lady that always looked
in the window of Darrin & Samantha Stevens. Get it?
My hamster's name is (drumroll) - - - - - - Kiran Wagle.
 
Thank you. Thank you.
 
================================================================================
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: smaus@nyx.cs.du.edu (Scott Maus)
Subject: HI YOU ALL!!
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 17:41:58 GMT


Hi!! My name is Scott MAus and I am one of the many lonely hearted of
today's world!! Am seeking out friendship with the female gendre and my
interests include reading, movies, spending time together with that
special person, and meeting/making new friends!!

If interested, mail me at smaus@nyx.cs.du.edu and I shall respond back to
that special lonely hearted female!!! Hope to hear from you soon!!

" Mystery Man "

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: fredw@mks.com (Fred Walter)
Subject: Re: Desperation (was Re: Commitment--The C-word?)
Organization: Mortice Kern Systems Inc., Waterloo, Ontario, CANADA
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 20:25:38 GMT

diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
>I'm pretty forward, but I draw the line at mugging complete strangers

But just think of what you could do with the proceeds of mugging a couple of
complete strangers ...

	fred "Gee, do I have to include the smilies ?" walter
-- 
Disclaimer: everything I write is my *personal* opinion and does not represent
or reflect the opinion of the company which employs me.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: cfg@cray.com (Cindy Glass)
Subject: Re: Hark tis it the wind.
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Distribution: na
Date: 27 Aug 92 15:24:45 CDT

>In article <1992Aug27.131009.8943@cbfsb.cb.att.com> jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton) writes:
>In article <1992Aug26.233558.25302@walter.cray.com> cfg@cray.com (Cindy Glass) writes:
>>> 
>>> No no Dawn don't try to set me up out of the gutter. 
>> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>> Excuse me James - just what were you implying here?!
>>
> 
>Sorry call me cryptic. This implys I have taken to the bottle and
>need the Salvation Army to grab me by the scruff of the neck and
>pull my boots up and life will be a rather large bowl of cherries if
>it weren't for all the damn fruit fly's.

Sorry - it wasn't the way I read it!  If things have gotten that bad,
are you *really* sure that it is your boots that need to be pulled up??
 
>>
>> By the sounds of it - she understood you *VERY* well!!  Congrats Dawn!! :)
> 
>Errrr....

Again - so sorry - and after you had said that I have given your
life meaning too!!  My humblest apologies James!
 
>>My hands - it's been too many days of 16+ hours of work a day - software
>>problems, hardware problems - and here I am - dreaming of being able
>>to retire in less than 6 years (AND *STILL* be under 40!!!! :)  )  Go
>>for my dreams of some place in the woods...YESSSSSSSSSSS!!  No more
>>computers/errant software for me!!!
> 
>Don't kill yourself in an effort to retire. After all I want to share
>your money with someone.

I'm amazed...and you are saying that you might just consider sharing 
my money with me!?  What a guy!
 
>Come on down to big jim's house of campers. Take the I-94 west exit,
>pass by the quiant(sp?) little house of Cindy and her cats(make sure you beep
>and wave). Hurry, hurry, hurry. Remember this sale expire's after one
>year so bring the friends, bring uncle festus, bring the nieces, nephews.
>Hook on that trailer hitch and make a day of it.

"Cindy's Cat House" and "Jim's House of Campers" (both on one interstate
exit) - now, there is a tourist trap, if I've ever heard of one! :)  Of 
course, there will have to be signs and gimmicks at *LEAST* 3 states/provinces
away!!  (ie. "Wall Drug", "Ruby Falls", "House on The Rock", "Corn Palace",
"House of Mud".  Every state has one - what's yours?!?!?)

Unfortunately James, I don't want to be near *ANY* interstate - nor do 
I want a tourist trap.
 

Cindy :)
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: 3 Sep 92 00:07:04 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Patrick D. Buick (buick@belay) wrote:
: Oh.. you mean personality... oops ... You mean I have to be a *bad*
: dude companion etc... I have to quit being so nice all the time... 
: doesn't that take me out of trademark? [sigh....]

I see... a bad goon a-rising...

-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Bananas
Date: 29 Aug 92 16:56:17 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien) writes:

>Stef Jones (stef@Apple.COM) wrote:

>: Shhhhhhhh...

>Eek, sounds like somebody sprung a leak.  I *told* you to be careful with those
>teeth! :-)

They always spring a leak sooner or later, alas.    :-)

--
Stef                         Dear Miss Manners -- Is it proper for a 
stef@apple.com               gentleman to compliment a lady on her tattoo?
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: greg@netcom.com (Greg Bullough)
Subject: Re: Can we can the suck-up bit?
Date: Tue, 01 Sep 92 16:57:19 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Keywords: encourage friendship?

In article <1992Sep1.135102.21012@cbnewsd.cb.att.com> nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci) writes:
>Men will be leery of agreeing with a woman's point of view here because
>they don't want someone to accuse them of doing so to win her affectations.
                                                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^
 
But Nance, I always thought that the best thing about Mid-Western women was
that they didn't have any affectations!
 
Greg
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Why do the lurkers / so furiously lurk together?
Date: 28 Aug 92 19:38:55 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Norman Hill (hillnr@hamlet.uncg.edu) wrote:
: >>Reading soc.singles without posting isn't eavesdropping; 
: >Then what is it?
: 
: To equate lurking with eavesdropping is absurd.  It presumes that there
: is a private conversation - not a public discussion.


True, soc.singles is a spectator sport.  I don't object to 100,000 people
reading my messages; I knew that was possible before I posted.  What I
do object to  is the idea of tailoring ones posts to suit people who you
don't even know who are or what their preferences are.  Think of it as
television with a somewhat higher information content;  if you don't like
what you're seeing, change the channel.
-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Oh, no! Statistics! Run!! :-)
Date: 28 Aug 92 00:45:10 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <71744@apple.Apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
|margoli@watson.ibm.com (Larry Margolis) writes:
|
|>In  <14304@auspex-gw.auspex.com>  johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
|>> |] margoli@watson.ibm.com writes:
|>> |] >No, women like men with Snap-On tools.  :-)
|>>
|>> I would have figured the Snap-off quality was pretty desirable as well.
|
|>Bingo - some women like to make sure the tool's safely stored at home
|>when their man's not.  :-)
|
|Some women just want to make sure there is a tool at home even when their
|person's not.

And you can recognize a guy that is a "rescuer" if he is reluctant to
give up the tool when they're not there.  These guys just don't think
a woman is capable of using the tool as well as they can.
-- 
+============================================================================++
| John Fereira            "Is that all you ever think about?"                |
| johnf@auspex.com                                                           |
+============================================================================++
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: Where the best posts come from
Date: Wed, 02 Sep 92 06:10:38 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <14405@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>In article <gwjn7=j@lynx.unm.edu> hays@TECHNET.NM.ORG writes:
>>Well, *I* think that it's pretty hard to beat that 'Purple hays' guy...
>>He's really entertaining.
>Anyone that has the balls/gall/chutzpah/ability to suck up to himself 
>deserves a perfect 10.0 on the suckup scale.

I think the term is 'flexibility'.
r. 

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: Can we can the suck-up bit?
Date: Tue, 01 Sep 92 06:32:27 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque
Keywords: encourage friendship?

In article <14390@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>As I said a couple of months ago there is nothing wrong with complimenting
>someones thoughts or ideas.  Some people find it entertaining however to
>take what is actually a compliment and rate it as if it were merely a suckup.
>I see nothing wrong with that either and see it as a refreshing change to
>flame wars.

Yeah, but even this same old routine gets really old.
Pretty soon, people will be posting *HUGS* and *GIGGLES* and we'll be 
all straight back into alt.romance.chat. *BLEAH* :)
No, this ain't a call to move to 'dry boring' topics, but at least find a new
joke, ok?
r.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: myhui@bnr.ca (Michael Hui)
Subject: Re: Boink?
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd., Ottawa, Canada
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 01 Sep 92 19:47:24 GMT

In article <71890@apple.Apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>aahz@netcom.com (Aahzmandius) writes:
>>I'll be in Toronto from Oct. 1 to 4, then in Detroit until the evening 
>>of the 5th.
>Count me in, I'll be in Toronto then, too.

Sounds like fun.
At least it's half the distance from Ottawa compared to Boston!
From: gary@igor.tamri.com (Gary Schwartz)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Friendly Cities
Date: 27 Aug 92 07:02:38 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <1992Aug25.185918.46916@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu> jm0i@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JOSEPH ALOYSIUS MCVEIGH) writes:
>gds@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
>>Is Denver friendly to everybody?  Does every person get spoken to by
>>passers by on the street?
>
>New York's got that beat - that town is so friendly that there doesn't even
>have to be another person around for people to converse on the street.

Having grown up in New York, I wasn't accustomed to being approached by
passers by on the street.  Well, let's say I wasn't accustomed to finding
it pleasant being approached by passers by :)

Anyway, the first time I visited the Bay Area, I got on a bus in San
Francisco one morning.  When the driver said "hello" I turned to see who
he was talking to, and only after I saw noone else there did I realize he
was talking to me!  I said "oh, hi" back and wandered onto the bus.  
Fortunately, 11 years in the Bay Area has modified my behaviour somehwat
and I can now be friendly to bus drivers (and occasionally others too :)

But it's interesting being on the receiving end of the startled look when
I go back to New York.

gary


-- 
--
Gary Schwartz					gary@igor.tamri.com
Toshiba America MRI, Inc.		
280 Utah Ave					phone:	(415) 875-3483	
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Desperation (was Re: Commitment--The C-word?)
Date: 2 Sep 1992 16:12:30 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com

In article <1992Sep2.021923.23929@sfu.ca>, probst@selkirk.sfu.ca (Scott Probst) writes:
> >
> i hope this doesn't muddy the waters too much, but it seems to me that there's
> this equation of the word "need" with things like "codependency" (one of the
> current favourite buzzwords in psychology), and some general weakness of 
> character, etc. is this really sound? i mean, it seems like the word "need"
> is what people are most worried about, rather than what is actually happening
> at the personal level. surely it would be okay to say that you need something
> or someone, as long as the underlying meaning is not that you feel you
> couldn't survive (etc) without it or them. eh?

I agree (at least, I think I agree if I follow your point.)  There's times 
in a longterm relationship where you ARE going to need your partner for
things that you can't provide for yourself.  It's important to be with
someone who can handle that.  (Trust me, I'm speaking from experience here.)
It's a general, never-ending, emotional neediness that's dangerous.

Dawn
From: rawdon@colby.cs.wisc.edu (Michael Rawdon)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: How'd You Get Here?? (Was:Lurkers)
Date: 30 Aug 92 21:05:42 GMT
Reply-To: rawdon@colby.cs.wisc.edu
Organization: University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Dept., Madison, WI

I started reading and posting to the net in the Fall of 1989, starting in
talk.abortion, where I quickly became one of the most prolific posters on
all of USENET.  (For the record, I'm strongly pro-choice.)

After I got bored with that group, I moved over to rec.arts.startrek where
I spent most of my time being bewildered that people actually think that
Star Trek: The Next Generation is a good TV show, and remaining one of the
most prolific posters on the net.

I got tired of r.a.s last fall, in large part because it was recently
subdivided into several smaller groups which has been an unmitigated
fiasco and has made the group no fun at ALL to read.  Being recently
single-ized, soc.singled seemed like a logical place to move.  However, for
various reasons, I have slowly ceased to be one of the most prolific posters
on the net.

I read about 70 newsgroups, though only a few in any depth.  I'm also an
advocate of the "better newsreaders solves newsgroup volume problems,
splitting the group does not" philosophy.

-- 
Michael Rawdon	    rawdon@colby.cs.wisc.edu  [Note new address!]
University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Department, Madison, WI

"A pretty sight it seemed to be; an avenue of eternal peace,
 but he said, 'What is here can soon burn down... I'm the king of sunset
	town."
						- Marillion
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown)
Subject: Re: Oh, no! Statistics! Run!! :-)
Organization: I can't see any in the immediate vicinity...
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 04:56:08 GMT

In article <1992Aug25.192721.39783@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.ibm.com writes:
>In  <1992Aug25.004519.16716@nuchat.sccsi.com>  kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
>> Hmm...wonder if women go for guys with Sears Craftsman tools.  :-)
>
>No, women like men with Snap-On tools.  :-)

Ouch!  That wouldn't be because Snap-On tools are so expensive, and thus
a guy with Snap-On tools has a lot of money, would it?  :-)

>Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)


-- 
				Kevin Brown

			    kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com
			    kevin@taronga.taronga.com