HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: More old coots tests
Date: 3 Oct 92 22:16:01 GMT
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <8414.11128@stratus.SWDC.Stratus.COM>, jane@soave.swdc.stratus.com (Jane Beckman) writes:
=Jilara looks nostalgic.  "Ah yes, Bob Clampett.  That man had
=a wicked sense of humor that I only really began to appreciate
=when I watched some of his stuff as an adult.  Rather the way
=you can't full appreciate Rocky and Bullwinkle when you're a
=kid, either.  (Who remember's Jay Ward's first show, "Crusader
=Rabbit?")

StM, doing his best Hobbes imitation, sniffs, "*I* think they should've called
the show _Rags_, after the *IMPORTANT* character."

For those of you not familiar with the show, Rags was Crusader's sidekick, a
tiger.  Hobbes is, of course, the tiger in the comic strip _Calvin_&_Hobbes_.
From: olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Chip Olson@somewhere.out.there)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Pet cats
Date: 28 Sep 92 02:40:49 GMT
Organization: Spam-On-A-Rope Inc.
In-reply-to: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk's message of Sun, 27 Sep 1992 15:44:46 +0000

In article <717633886snx@redunser.demon.co.uk> mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk (Alan Ralph) writes:

>In article <u906451.717509551@bruny> u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien Saunders) writes:

>> Have you got anything to slow a small black cat down???

>Only one thing stops a cat - cat food, the more the better! After that they
>have to go and sleep it off somewhere...

Oh, there's other ways... friend of mine was liiving in a house where one of
the housemates had a marijuana patch in the *front* yard (this particular
housemate was a few French fries short of a Happy Meal).  One day Suzanne
(my friend)'s two cats and the other cat in the house got into it and chewed
up several plants.  They wandered around stoned out of their tiny little minds
for a while, then went to sleep for several hours.  And upon waking they 
bolted straight for, you guessed it, the cat dish.  

--
-Chip Olson. | ceo@silver.lcs.mit.edu | ceo@gnu.ai.mit.edu 
"I get drunk, drinking Guinness with Creme de Menthe in it. It's really
bad for you."  -Shane MacGowan.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Cultural Exchange (was Re: Schooling)
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 18:21:03 GMT

Space cadet writes:
>Ray Bradbury once said,
>
>"At 17 you think you know everything. If at 27 you still think you know
>everything, then you're still 17."

     "Hmm. I know I don't know everything... So, that must mean I'm on the
  good side of 17 !" DJ. :-) :-)

-- 
 Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science
 jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
  "Is it the weekend yet ?" me :-)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rlm7337@tamsun.tamu.edu (Richard L. Mcmahon)
Subject: Re: College advice for John
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 01:06:06 GMT

In article <1992Sep22.062837.8433@nntp.uoregon.edu> JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason)) writes:
><Jason ponders for most of the day over what John Carney has asked about
>college life, and thinks back on his recent (and not-so-recent) college
>experiences. After a while, he decides how to reply.>
>
>    Um, John? I guess I -am- in a pretty good position to answer your
>questions. I spent five years in college as a student, and since then have
>worked another eight years or so as a college administrator of the type
>that hires students regularly. For seven years of that time I ran a
>computer lab that had a staff of about twelve student employees. Plus I
>just finished an extensive run through the gauntlet of job searches, so I
>can give you survival advice on that mill too.

Jason-
You've helped me a lot...you've given me an armload of good advice and
a place to begin.  I'll post back soon (hopefully) with some updates.
[John bows casually to Jason] if you ever have need of my assistance, please
do not hesitate to ask..and thanks to Pegasus as well..


>
>     Hope that is useful to you. <Jason>
>
><With that, Jason folds up his powerbook, and goes to the kitchen to call
>his wife. That hot tub in the back that everyone's enjoying looks awfully
>inviting, and he is going to ask Pegasus to come down and join him for a
>soak. (In her human form. No room for her other form unless that tub is a
>lot larger than it looks!)>
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>If my life is a soap opera, where is the channel changer?
>

[as Jason leaves, John (now standing) steps up to the bar and orders another
Dr. Pepper]  Save some room in the tub...I have a lot of work to do, and I may 
need some therapy soon...

John Carney
Castle BBS
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
ReplyTo: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Subject: Re: Reminicing about alt.callahans past
Distribution: world
X-Mailer: cppnews $Revision: 1.18 $
Organization: Chez MonTemplar, Redunser
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 00:58:05 +0000


In article <Bv5pMo.Hs8@agora.rain.com> feath@agora.rain.com (Feather) writes:
> As Feather recovers fom her episode with the forklift, she is starting
> to feel the aftereffects of such a major mind-effort.  Too much PK effort
> for one little bird.  With humor, Feather moans:
> 
> "MY BRAIN HURTS!"
> 
> ....and immediately orders another double Brandy Alexander.  With time, and
> several sips, Feather is finally able to compose a coherent question for 
> all the veteran Callahaners:
> 
> "Someone here talked about what they called 'callahan's coots', and the 
> memories THEY would have of the Place.  Well, I have only been lurking
> here since early this past spring, so I don't have much of a history here
> to draw from.  
> 
> Please, veteran Callahaners, could you share with all of us some of the
> greatest moments of this Place?  What stands out in your memory the most?
> How did it get started, and what was the Place like then?  Anything you
> could add on your own would be wonderful.  Maybe you could repost some
> of the most classic moments for us newbies to enjoy."
> 
> -Feather
> "Just a small gray bird of an unknown specie."

MonTemplar steps over and offers Feather some of his pistacchios (yep, he's
still got some left, after all these months! :-) )

"I started reading alt.callahans in the Summer of 1991, and finally unlurked
in October of that same year - which means I've been here almost a year now."

"At about the time I showed up, the Place was in the middle of a Coming Out
Party hosted by one Laughing Cat (where is she now?). Then came the pillow
fights, closely followed by the custard pies and peanuts... very messy, but
heaps of fun! During the course of this, the young MonTemplar roamed the
Place, rewarding any particularly bad puns with a blast of the dread Splurge
Gun... until he blundered into an ambush organised by Meredith and friends (a
classic posting!) Eventually everyone was worn out so it was into the Hot Tub
for a clean-up... *SPLOSH!*"

"The rest is pretty much a blur... in April this year I met up with some of
my fellow Callahaners, at the abode of the Urban Spaceman at Kingston - great
fun was had by all... Nick Chopper let on as to how old he was, starting the
'old coots' threads... and Didi-Sprite developed her now-famous Birthay Post
Extravaganzas... and here we are now!" [FX: mops brow]

(Side note: I've had to drastically trim my alt.callahans message base, cos
there wasn't enough space left in memory for me to edit followups... close to
300 posts collected over the last few days!)
--
Alan Ralph, AKA Kimberley MonTemplar (when in alt.callahans)
aralph@cix.compulink.co.uk  OR  mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Cominatcha' c/o Demon Internet Services - Internet for a tenner a month!
From: rlm7337@tamsun.tamu.edu (Richard L. Mcmahon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Friends ... forever ...
Date: 29 Sep 92 01:47:37 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station

As Callahan's regulars move out the back, a tall figure wrapped in a volumous
cloak follows.  He stands at the back as the others make their offerings, and
tries to feel the sorrow of his new friends.

"I didn't know you, Artful Dodger,"  he whispers to himself, "but I know if I
had, it would have been a great honor.  I mourn thee, and hope you find a better
world than this."


Incarnadine
From: olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Chip Olson@somewhere.out.there)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: colorfully descriptive phrases
Date: 1 Oct 92 02:50:32 GMT
Organization: Spam-On-A-Rope Inc.
In-reply-to: feath@agora.rain.com's message of Wed, 30 Sep 1992 15:36:40 GMT

In article <BvEE15.3E8@agora.rain.com> feath@agora.rain.com (Feather) writes:

>"Hey you guys, how many others can come up with colorfully descriptive
>phrases like that?  Let me start off by writing that Happy Meal phrase
>here on the chalkboard..."
>
>She does so.
>
>"...and then add my own."
>
>And then proceeds to write:
>-  As welcome as a hyperactive puppy at a housecat convention.

Castellan starts manipulating X-windows, then changes his mind. "No, I'm
not going to post my insults file... too easy.  I do have a contribution, 
though."  Proceeding to the chalkboard, he writes:

As noisy as two skeletons fucking on a tin roof in a hailstorm



--
-Chip Olson. | olson@husc.harvard.edu | ceo@{gnu.ai,silver.lcs}.mit.edu 
"Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, silhouetted
by the sea, circled by the circus sands, with all memory and fate driven deep 
beneath the waves; let me forget about today until tomorrow"  -Bob Dylan.
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason))
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Autumn ... and Other Returning Entities!
Date: 22 Sep 92 06:52:35 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture

In article <1992Sep21.171557.16885@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca>, aaron@helios
(Aaron Humphrey) writes:
> 
> John Charles Fiala (jf2z+@andrew.cmu.edu) wrote:
> : He gets up, and, followed by Em'ly, who is careful-quiet stalking one of his
> : loose shoelaces, walks over to the -sprite, who is surrounded by her
> : faithful compainions.  He greets her as Em'ly finally decides to protect
> : the world from stray shoe-laces.
> : 
> :      "Nice to have you URK.  EM'LY!  Leggo!"
> : He bends over and picks up the kitten-cat, giving her a head-scratch as
> : he continues.
> 
> "A friend of mine(the same one who bought me SimEarth)had cats that were very
> much like that.  My friend's theory was that shoelaces are actually full of
> invisible monsters that humans cannot see, but cats can, and it is their duty
> to protect us from them.  So, non-cat-people beware!  Get Velcro shoes, rather
> than risk the danger of the Shoelace Monsters!"
> 
> --
> ---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
> "Yesterday I saw a subliminal advertising executive--just for a second."
>    ---Steven Wright
> Current Album--Animotion:Strange Behaviour
> Current Read--Sheri S. Tepper:Raising The Stones
> 
> 

But playing with shoelaces, or better yet long, thick bootlaces, is the
favorite game of my two housecats, George and Harry. They love to chase
"snakes".

<Jason>
From: turner@reed.edu (I'm not you)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Colorful Phrases
Date: 5 Oct 92 23:07:32 GMT
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon

Caithelin wanders in and decides she needs to add her two cents.

In article <oenbE5O00WAJEkpcx1@andrew.cmu.edu> John Charles Fiala <jf2z+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>Hmm...
>
>I've always liked the following, culled from rec.humor back, lo so many
>years ago, when I read it:

>"Make like a hockey player and get the puck out of here."

"Hmm.  My dad's favorite along those lines (and understand from the
beginning my dad is a hippy): let's make like hippies and blow this joint."

>"About as sharp as a bowl of Jello."

"From a song that I particularly like is 'one blade shy of a sharp edge'.  I
should write down the lyrics sometime and sing them in here...it's a pretty
amusing but cutting song.  So to speak..."  She realizes she'd better duck
after that kind of a pun.  

	Lots of love,
	Caithelin
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: hollombe@polymath.tti.com (The Polymath)
Subject: Re: schools re: Old Coots Test
Organization: The Cat Factory
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 23:44:42 GMT

In article <keulen.717827108@possum> keulen@possum.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Mike van Keulen) writes:
}Splash puzzles about the use of an unfamiliar term: sophomore.  I've read it
}before, but never worked out what one is.  Freshman (hasn't it turned to
}fresh-person, or fresher (we have _them_ here), or freshie, or something less
}gender-based?) is pretty obvious, and I can guess at juniors and seniors, but
}what's a sophomore?  Comes from a non-American background ... reminds me how
}much of the world I haven't seen ... yet  :-)

"I think the word translates, roughly, to 'wise-fool'.  Sophomores (second
year students) have usually progressed to the point where they have just
enough knowledge to get themselves into serious trouble.  They're also
still arrogant and ignorant enough to do so, jumping in where angels fear
to tread, as the saying goes."

The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, M.A., CDP, aka: hollombe@polymath.tti.com)
Head Robot Wrangler at Citicorp                   Turn the rascals out!
3100 Ocean Park Blvd.   (310) 450-9111, x2483     No incumbents in '92!
Santa Monica, CA  90405
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Suicide (Was: Friends ... forever ...)
Date: 29 Sep 1992 04:40:46 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <1992Sep28.151404.18466@openage.openage.com>, gryphon@openage.openage.com (The Golden Gryphon) writes:
>I will miss Arty myself, but I can't help thinking that suicide is the
>cowards way out.  I have talked many of my friends out of suicide, and they
>are mostly better for it.  I don't think suicide makes your problems go
>away, I think you will be forced to deal with them in the next life, or the
>one after that.

Of course, an equally supportable position is that continuing to live only
because of the fear of what may come afterward is the coward's path.  I believe
a fictitious prince of Denmark had something to say on that topic.

>And then there are all the people you left behind...

True.

>There were a thousand places he could have turned for help.  That includes us.
>I still think he took the easy way out.  Life is much harder than death. 

Perhaps.  But does anybody know the source of the rather perverse (and
hypocritical) attitude prevalent in much of our society that maintains that
the harder path somehow has something intrinsic to commend it?  If taking the
easy way is so much worse than taking the hard way, why aren't we all out there
raising wild crops with nothing better as farm tools than sharpened sticks?
From: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Colorful Phrases
Date: 6 Oct 92 16:48:56 GMT
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Originator: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca

In article <1992Oct6.145311.13578@samba.oit.unc.edu> Jack.Smoke@bbs.oit.unc.edu (Jack Smoke) writes:
>One of the things my father used to say, as he made his rounds
>(My father was one of the last doctors to make house calls):
>"I'm off like a herd of Turtles."
>

"Hi, Smoke!  *My Dad* used to say:  "I'm off like a herd of Turtles in
a windstorm!  

"And, there there is:  I'm off like a dirty shirt!
"And:  As slow as molasses in winter ... running uphill!
"And:  Apple pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze!"

----<--<@

The Didi-Sprite
Montreal * Canada

braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.com (Gillett, David)
Subject: Re: Old Coots Test (was A grinning Nightstalker)
Reply-To: dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.com (Gillett, David)
Organization: Reuters APL Software Division
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 11:00:10 GMT

     Soprano claims she never heard of "High School" being anything *but*
grades 9-12.  And then she prompty refers to some new-fangled idea called
"Junior High" which is grades 7 and 8.
     Pooh!  In my day, "Public" or "Elementary" school went all the way to
grade 8, and the notion of separate larger schools for grades 7 and 8 was still
considered radically experimental.
                                      Mentor the Sage (Young Coot)

-----------Message forwarded from IPSA Mailbox-------------
From: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Autumn ... and other returning Entities!
Date: 29 Sep 92 15:56:44 GMT
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Originator: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca

In article <920923.12321300.079529@USM.CP6> JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE) writes:
>
>>Didi giggles ... "Gosh SEA, i think Dreamy Jim missed us !"
>>
>> And Didi throws her arms around DJ's neck for one more huggable
>> squeeze ! "Ummmmmm ... yum !"
>
><b----l---u---s---h !> starting with the face, then the ears, then
>the entire head's visible flesh, then the arms, then the hands, ...
>
>"whooooshh !" DJ.
>
>... { a short time later } "Yes I did miss you both greatly !" DJ.
>
Didi turns to SEA,  "Oooooooo!  Don't he blush pretty?"

----<--<@

The Didi-Sprite
Montreal * Canada

braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca  (The Didi-Sprite)
Subject: Re: College advice for John
Originator: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 02:08:31 GMT

In article <1992Sep28.010606.26507@tamsun.tamu.edu> rlm7337@tamsun.tamu.edu (Richard L. Mcmahon) writes:
>
>[as Jason leaves, John (now standing) steps up to the bar and orders another
>Dr. Pepper]  Save some room in the tub...I have a lot of work to do, and I may 
>need some therapy soon...
>
>John Carney
>Castle BBS

----<--<@

The Didi-Sprite grins at John:  "There's always room for one more in our
hot tub ... isn't that right, Kitkat?  Especially for a birthday boy!
Don't work too long!"

----<--<@

The Didi-Sprite
Montreal * Canada

braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jhitch@crash.cts.com (Jeffrey Hitchin)
Subject: Re: Christmas is busting out all over!
Date: 30 Sep 92 17:12:38 GMT

	"Gypsy," Grant says. "I just thought of something.  We're leaving
out other factions here.  Shame, shame.

	"Let's see what we can do to rectify this."  Grant pulls out two 
rubber stamps.  One is a large menorah, the other is a smaller stamp, a 
candle.  "There we go, now all we have to do is stamp one candle for each
day.  Oh, here's my dreidel stamp.  Yet another two-stamp set.  The dreidel
is blank, and the other stamp has the letters on it.

	"Now we need some wreath people."
From: ajm@wag.caltech.edu (Abner J. Mintz)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: schools re: Old Coots Test
Date: 30 Sep 1992 23:23:41 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: picasso.wag.caltech.edu

>>A friend of mine who is now a teacher refers to them as 'hormones with feet.'

>Yup - I agree wholeheartedly!  We've got one right now, and talk about hormones
>- there are so many racing around in her it's not difficult to forget about the
>rest of her!  Any idea when we can expect some form of recovery?

Well, Splash, most people start recovering by age 45 ...  A few lucky ones
don't recover until they're in their 80's or 90's!   =8)

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Thank you Liralen ! Re: Song of Sixpence - Part Five
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 19:27:23 GMT

Liralen writes:
>>  "I guess I have reached the party ! I need a place to park my truck
>>and unload these pumpkins ! " DJ.
>>
>>  "Right over there DJ !" Didi.
>>
>>  "What do you have in pumpkins," SEA.
>>
>>  " I have an elf, a balrog, a kzinti, a sprite, a dragon, a knight,
>>a fractal { rather hard for ol' Shorty to carve }, a firelizard,
>>and a robot. I hope you like them," DJ.
>
>Liralen is *quite* fascinated by the fractal pumpkin.
>
>---- a little later...
>
>> "<umph> This thing is heavy !" DJ.
>>
>> "There, Liralen ! Happy Birthday !" DJ.
>>
>> <A huge box, about 1 meter x 1 meter x 1 meter wrapped in silvery
>>paper with green, gold, blue, and orange ribbons.>
>>
>>  "Whoosh ! This is going to take a while to open !" Liralen.
>>
>>  "Well, it has a hinged lid. It opens right here." DJ.
>>
>>  "Oh ! I can hardly wait !" Didi.
>>
>>  <Liralen opens the box>
>>
>>  Inside all can see a large mound of fresh blueberries, with a small
>> blue package on top of them.
>>
>>  <paper being torn open>
>>
>>  "Its a harmonica !" Liralen
>>
>>  "It plays harmony, in more ways than one ! When you play it, it will
>>play the harmony of a song, and produce harmony in those who are
>>within hearing range !" DJ.
>
>Liralen looks at Dreamy Jim in astonishment, and then brings up the
>harmonica to her lips.  And, sure enough, the melody that comes out is the
>harmony to "Deep in the Heart of Texas"... she laughs and hugs Dreamy Jim
>"Thank you!" 

    "You are most welcome ! I haven't heard that song in ages... <sniffle>
 A great big Texas Thank You !

     'The stars at night are big and bright,
      Deep in the heart of Texas !'

     Yahooo !" Dreamy Jim. <hugs right back !>
-- 
 Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science
 jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
  "Is it the weekend yet ?" me :-)
From: aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Pet cats
Date: 27 Sep 92 05:36:41 GMT
Organization: Bill 'n' Opus for Prez

In article <u906451.717509551@bruny> u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien Saunders) writes:
>
>Has anyone considered how hard it is to read the articles here with a mad
>pet cat running around the house???
>
>Have you got anything to slow a small black cat down???

Well, the ProblemOlderWoman and I are sitting here reading News, with
Selkie sitting quietly (modulo a steady purr) in my lap, accepting our
worhsip with the dignity that she considers her due.
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
specification is that it should run noiselessly.
From: dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu (David Green)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Colorful Phrases
Date: 6 Oct 92 22:59:56 GMT
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711

I used one the other day and I'm still not sure where it came from:

That was about as coincidental as death following from decapitation.

Not necessarily pretty, but I think it got the point across... :)
-- 
dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu				   David "Mishael" Green
		    Have you scritched your local Furry today?
***********************Who ordered the muon? -- I. I. Rabi**********************
	    Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans