From: v124jw4y@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (Benjamin R Pierce)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.dnd
Subject: Most Powerful Spell Ever
Date: 17 Nov 92 21:12:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

This was being circulated at GenCon this year--I have no idea who the author
is, but I  sure got a laugh out of it:

ELMINSTER'S GYGAX REMOVAL

     This is the single most powerful spell ever created.  It has 
been known to destroy or alter entire worlds, and eradicate entire
races and classes from the face of a planet.  This spell has
transformed the foundations of Greyhawk forever.
     No one is sure who created the spell or cast it upon Greyhawk.
Elminster is the mage who first realized that some fundamental
alteration had occurred.  Many sages say it was a curse (or perhaps
a blessing) from the gods.  Others say there was no spell cast, but
that the change on Greyhawk occurred by the powers of nature and the
universe.
     The spell warped the entire history of the Greyhawk universe.
Not all of the changes can possibly be listed here, but what follows
is a chronological account of the metamorphosis according to Elminster:

(1) Barovia and Castle Ravenloft disappear into the Ethereal mist.
(2) Evocation spells become limited in power (Max Fireball of 9d6)
(3) Magic Missile spell becomes impotent.
(4) Great Wyrms are seen for the first time.
(5) Thief/Acrobats mysteriously forget their profession.
(6) Clerics become dissatisfied with the general clergy and specialize.
(7) Magic users are able to cast illusions for the first time ever.
(8) Druids and Rangers become less powerful. 
(9) Paladins remain as annoying as ever.
(10)The AD&D center of the universe shifts from Greyhawk to Toril.
(11)The psionically endowed temporarily lose their abilities. They
    are thwarted in their attempts to regain their powers until the
    High Council of Psionics publishes a handbook for use in
    retraining the psionic mind.
(12)Psionicists remain perplexed by the findings of the High Council.
(13)"Dragonlance" continues to be a poor idea for a campaign.
(14)Bards, still recovering from their most recent transformation,
    find themselves in yet another revised state.
(15)Assassins simply vanish.
(16)Every race suddenly seems to have priests.
(17)Almost every profession on the planet begins to use new titles:
       - Thieves become Rogues
       - Magic Users become Wizards or Mages
       - Clerics become Priests
       - Fighters become Warriors
(18)Knowledge of demons and devils suddenly disappears.
    A perplexing new taxonomy is invented to describe
    invaders from the outer planes.
(19)Artifacts and relics begin to lose their powers.
(20)Bigby, Mordenkainen, and Otto fade into obscurity.
(21)Many players begin to feel very, very old.


     It is rumored that research into a reverse of this spell was 
once started by an old, powerful mage.  Unfortunately, the mage was
assassinated (allegedly by "close friends:) before the spell 
could be completed.  A few sages (who wish to remain anonymous) say
it is still possible to conjure a "Gygax Restoration" spell.  However,
they also warn that even if a mage were powerful enough to gather the
required material components (100 million platinum pieces plus legal
fees), it may well cost the mage his immortal soul.



Top that, anyone? :)

                                                --Ben
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.dnd