From: crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford)
Newsgroups: rec.music.christian
Subject: TANGENT: Re: Dancing with commitment & dating & sex
Date: 27 Jan 93 14:57:21 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In article <1993Jan26.232748.12044@titan.tsd.arlut.utexas.edu> conditt@tsd.arlut.utexas.edu (Paul Conditt) writes:

>I brought up the idea of having a Bible
>study led by a counselor from the Minirth-Meier Clinic on the topic of
>sexuality, especially as it applies to singles.  I did this in a single's
>study.  The response I got was much less than positive.  The class sponsor,
>who is a man about 45 yrs old, replied that he'd support it, but couldn't
>offer any insight since he's been married since he was 19.  One of the
>single girls was adamant about studying it from the perspective of what
>to do when you're in a committed relationship and how to exercise self-
>control.  The others mostly just squirmed in their seats...

For what it's worth, I would be extremely uncomfortable in a co-ed Bible
study on sexuality.  A single-sex group, on the other hand, would be
great.  Is it possible that some of the squirming you got in your group
would be alleviated by asking just men, separately, if they'd be
interested in a men's group that discussed issues relating to sexuality? 
My church has sponsored a number of such groups over the years, and there
have been some excellent conferences on male sexuality in the Philly area
as well.  Those conferences were for men alone, which makes sense to me.

Forgive me if I've already mentioned this, but the book _Eros Defiled_ by
John White is absolutely wonderful.  Another book that's tremendously
useful in helping one come to terms with what it is to truly be a man or
woman and a sexual being is _Pursuing Whole Sexuality:  How Jesus Heals
the Homosexual_ by Andy Comiskey (the accompanying workbook is also
excellent).  I recommend this book *regardless* of one's sexual
orientation.  I read this book when I worked for a local ministry to
homosexuals.  My attitude was "Well, this will help me understand better
what homosexuals deal with."  

Surprise, surprise:  God powerfully used
every page of that book to help me come to terms with my *own* warped
sexuality.  I came to realize that all sexuality is fallen in this fallen
world, that sexuality is core to our being and represents far more than
the act of sex itself, and that part of the healing, sanctifying work God
wants to do in all our lives will necessarily involve touching on that
sexual core.  I can't recommend the book enough; I think it's put out by
Creation House (_Eros Defiled_ is put out by, I think, InterVarsity Press).

One final book I would recommend to anyone is _Crisis in Masculinity_ by
Leanne Payne.  As a woman, I didn't find the various case histories
helpful, but I very much appreciated her more general sections on the
masculine, the feminine, and what happens when societies fall out of
balance.  




-- 
I can identify with steelworkers.  I can identify with workers that have
had a difficult time.      -- Former Vice-President Danforth Quayle
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lauren Crawford  //  crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu
Newsgroups: rec.music.christian