From: maufd@csv.warwick.ac.uk (Mr J S Graley)
Newsgroups: alt.flame
Subject: Re: Graley, and cute graphs
Date: 12 Dec 1992 01:41:12 -0000
Organization: Computing Services, University of Warwick, UK
NNTP-Posting-Host: clover.csv.warwick.ac.uk

In article <1992Dec11.130436.1@acad.drake.edu> vsg001@acad.drake.edu writes:
|The British have critized the Americans for using too many polls. I have now
|found something that they do, which annoysthe hell out of me. Graphs. Graley
|seems to have found God in the creation of graphs. I have thought of my own,
|which I believe should have considerable bearing on Graley. These graphs have
|been inspired through the language of his posts.
|
|GRALEY-O-METER (Size of Penis, in mm, when at rest):
|
|*-----50----^55-----60-----65-----*
|	    |
|	    |
|      this is when he is asleep
|
|WITH WIND FACTOR: (Walking into the wind)
|
|*-----50-----55--^--60----65----*
|		 |
|		 |
|            this should be obvious
|
|BEFORE FLAMING:
|
|*----55----60-^--65----70----*
|	      |
|	      |
|	He is now sitting at the terminal, thinking...and thinking...
|
|AFTER FLAMING:
|
|*----25----30---^35----*
|		|
|		|
|	It should be obvious as to what happened.
|

Hmmm...

Let's take a look at the OriginalityOMeter(tm) after feeding in the above
posting by Phan-twat-tom (alt.flame's resident mr. imaginative):
                           ___________________
                       ___/   4   5   6   7   \___
                    __/    3                 8    \__
                  _/   2 **                      9   \_
                 /   1     **                      10  \
                /  0         **                      11 \
               |_______________**________________________|
               |                                         |
               |                  ()()()                 |
               |                   ()()                  |
                \_______________________________________/                          

It appears that your post has an originality quotient of two and a half out
of eleven. When we key this result into the OriginalityQuotientAnyliser(tm)
we get this result:

                 +-------------------------+
                 |   7 8 9   /\  O O O o   |
                 |   4 5 6   \/            |
                 |   1 2 3     Originality |
                 |     0      Quotient     |
                 |           Anyliser   +--+_________
                 +-------------------------+    \ ...\____
                                                 \________\____

The printout reads as follows:

         Originality Anyliser Output.

         Test specimin: Phantom

         Result:
           The subject appears to be highly unoriginal in terms of the
           concept, methodology and execution of the postings he or she makes
           to alt.flame. It is clear that he or she is capable only of 
           copying the ideas of other posters, and utterly failing to
           credit the original authour of the concepts he plagerises.
           A streak of hypocrisy also manifests itself in the extrodinarily
           low originality result, suggesting he or she is likley to steal
           ideas from the very people he or she seeks to criticise. This 
           includes, but is not limited to, 'limeys', and other
           non-American people.

         Appropriate communication technique:
           Gratuitous swearing is the only way to communicate with the
           subject. Any attempt at coherent assembly of intricate prose
           will render the subject instantly unconsious due to shock, and
           amnesia is likley to result, making the original attempt entirely
           redundant.

         Synopsis:
           The poster is a fucking arsehole. His fucking brain is a lump of
           fish turd which got lodged in the cavity between his ears
           when he was trying to frig off his auntie by doing double entry
           using a dead pirahna and his ulcer-covered tongue.  

The printout says it all. Finally it is necissary to place Phantom's posting 
in the BestPlaceForCrapLikeThis(tm):
                    ____
                      \ \___
                    +  \__  \     +
                    \    /  /     /
                    |    \_|      |
                     \           /
                     |          |
                      \________/

~THE GREAT NAME
                
-- 
    Don't worry,
     Its like in the comic books...
      ITS NOT REAL!