From: sbishop@desire.wright.edu
Newsgroups: alt.child-support
Subject: Re: IMHO
Date: 21 Jan 93 06:26:36 EST
Organization:  Wright State University 

In article <1993Jan18.194604.6459@ll.mit.edu>, yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich) writes:
> In article <1993Jan17.075332.6631@desire.wright.edu> sbishop@desire.wright.edu writes:
>>
>>Sorry, Bob, I've encountered so much hostility from Alan and The Beav, that
>>I responded harsher than I'd planned.  This group should be more of an 
>>information sharing group, not one where people get attacked when they 
>>try to share their problems.  I've corresponded with several women who
>>have dropped out of the group, they just don't want to even try to participate
>>when posts like the ones Lisa has posted get so immediately attacked 
>>and cause such negative response.  
>>It's funny, if a 'woman' was to be so entirely negative about a man's problems,
>>she is accused of male-bashing.  But when Lisa posts her problems with 
>>collecting childsupport, she is immediately attacked, very nastily by
>>both Alan and the Beav.
>>Everything that they get involved with in this group is only viewed by
>>them from their own personal viewpoint.  They make no effort to try to
>>look at anyone else's.  
>>Has anyone else noticed that the group is slowly becoming almost totally
>>male?  Most women are afraid or reluctant to post since they get so
>>heavily attacked.  
>>Maybe this group needs to be renamed alt.child-support.male-only.
>>
>>Sue
> 
> 	It has always been mostly male.  And for good reason.
> 	90+% of NCP's are men.

So, the group SHOULD be alt.child-support.male-only?  Because 90+% of NCP's
are men?  Yep, there you go again, saying that this is only a one sided
problem.  I hate to keep bursting your bubble, but there are *women*
out there losing their homes, trying to go to school, pay child-care, 
pay for food, work full-time, and struggling along on not quite enough
to live on because their ex is not paying child-support.  

> 
> 	But your point is well taken.  I'm not sure that as many women
> 	are "afraid" to post;  I mean it doesn't "hurt".  There just
> 	aren't as many.  And we've had our share of women NCP's who
> 	are getting the same treatment.

What do you mean that 'as many women are 'afraid' to post?  I've personally
gotten e-mail from four of them, all who just don't want to put themselves
in Lisa's shoes, and be the target of such nasty hostility.

> 
> 	Hey, nice to have a good conversation for a change.

Right.


> 	The problem is, exactly, the problem.  You won't get square
> 	one here.  Most NCP fathers are not assholes like the one that
> 	you describe.  But they have the right to be based on the harsh
> 	system that exists.  Your story is just an artifact of what
> 	*most* men are feeling, but not acting on.
> 

Not most, only the ones who are either in a bad situation or have made
a bad situation worse by their hostility or neglect.

> 	Women are not heavily attacked here; the system is.

Gee, you mean all those nasty things you said about Lisa and me were
really directed to the system?  Wow, I'm so relieved.


> 
> -- 
> 	Alan Yasutovich
> 	"inquiring  (and nosey) minds WANT TO KNOW!!!"
> 	I can remember when "safe sex" meant having a padded headboard!!
> 	Tick Tock.....Tick Tock......Tick Tock .....Tick Tock......

Sue