From: pac9897@zeus.tamu.edu (SMELLS LIKE JOHN MAJOR....)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.celtic
Subject: Why the English are to blame for Everything
Date: 16 Apr 92 05:07:00 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

People often say to me, they say, "Why do you have a near-racist hatred of
the Enlgish?" so I cook up a pack of lies and tell them "Anything bad that
has ever happened can be placed directly at the door of the English who
are alive today". Then my therapist puts my straight jacket on and
administers my morning dose of Loopy Juice.


It is a well known fact that the English are to blame for everything,
here are some well known examples where the English scum played a key role
in causing distress and trouble to others:

1, World War Two, everyone knows that had the lilly-livered yellow bellied 
   English not declared war on Germany in 1941 then Hitler would never have 
   taken power. Those proud celts the Irish however, did a wonderful and brave
   job at being neutral throughout World War Two.

2, The Sinking Of The Titanic, I mean everyone knows it was the English
   scum who secretly planted the iceberg as a cunning way of getting insurance
   payments out of our friends the Americans.

3, The failure of the Bay Of Pigs invasion in Cuba, why if the British had
   only gone ahead and given Cuba those Leyland buses then Cuba would have
   ground to a standstill as they all broke down. But they didn't - did
   you ever stop to ask why?

4, The Great Flood that killed all animals except those on the Ark, need
   I say more - this was a typical callous act of the heartless animal-torturing
   English.

5, 1066, the English in fact dressed up as Norman French and invaded the British
   Isles to give themselves a legitimate excuse for the subdjugation of the
   proud tribes of Celt, Scoti and Picti.

6, Cold bathrooms in the morning, you thought it was because it was cold outside
   and you forgot to set the thermostat last thing last night, didn't you -
   well you were wrong, their is proof (see IRA bombers Weekly) that it
   was the English who froze your nice celtic bathroom in order to help
   weaken the Celtic race first thing in the morning whilst brushing their 
   teeth.

7, Murder of the First Born - in the bible it says King Herod, this is 
   because in the King James bible they wanted to hide the fact that in
   fact this horrible deed was in fact done by the ENGLISH King HAROLD!!!

8, The crucifiction, see above, it took place in COVENTRY not Calgary at
   the hands of those murdering English swine.

9, The invention of the Sinclair C5, a deliberate attempt to slow down the
   celts as they travelled to work etc. etc..

10, The failure of Ireland to win the World Cup was in fact an English
    plot by Jackie Charlton - who is an Englishman - he only got them
    further than any other manager in post-war history as a cover for
    his evil plan.

Need I say more? Quite obviously these English are to be blamed for everything
and quite frankly cannot be trusted and so would be much better blown up.
Obviously....... 
Philip A. Carney		On Exchange from Lancaster University,
Texas A&M University, TX	England.

**********ALL VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE MY OWN, NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF**************
******TEXAS A & M UNIVERSITY, LANCASTER UNIVERSITY OR THEIR ASSOCIATES**********

"The lust for power is rooted not in strength, but in weakness..." - Erich Fromm

Newsgroups: soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.british,uk.politics