HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: tigger@satyr.Sylvan.COM (Grace Sylvan)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: "Love" Triangle
Date: 19 Aug 92 20:23:09 GMT
Organization: Sylvan Associates

When reading another post, it dawned on me that there might be another
way to handle the situation which might help with the long term
picture.

The children really are old enough to be held responsible for their
actions concerning getting along and not causing you a lot of trouble.
Sure, some days will not work out well, but most should. So, you
should state that there are certain rules to be followed in your house
(to all the kids). You know the specifics of what they do to get into
each other's hair, but something like "No teasing, share toys, etc".
Say that if they can't play together nicely, then the guests can't
stay. Tell them that they will get one warning, but if you need to
come because they can't get along, that out they go. Then do it and be
firm. They'll soon figure out how to handle the little conflicts on
their own, instead of dragging an adult and the adult's attention into
the situation.

Then, do give them a few minutes to try and work out conflicts on
their own before you intervene. Be very consistant. If you come back
and they tell you things are ok, just be sure that everyone says that
they're ok, and leave the kids to work it out. When you come back the
first time, remind them that this is the first time, so this is a
warning. You might have some period of time (a hour?) to reset the
warning count. And if the neighbor kids are kicked out, you might let
them all try again in a hour or two. (or after mealtime, or whatever
works for you)

I once wound up watching 8 kids, ages infant - 7  one evening for a
family gathering. The two infants were asleep, and the older ones were
running around making lots of noise. I told the older ones to quiet
down. When it started up again, I told them that if they woke the babies
up, that they would all be sent to bed immediately. I had to remind
them once. The second time a loud noise happened, there was an
immediate 'shush' to be heard, and the noise level quieted down.

My Katherine, who just turned 3, understands about playing nice or not
being allowed to play, and while she can't always do it, she can
manage a good portion of the time.

I also think that giving the girls some time to play w/o Matthew
around is also a good idea.

-- 

Tigger (Grace Sylvan)                Mom of Katherine Yelena, 8/8/89 &
tigger@satyr.sylvan.com              Robin Gregory born 2/28/92

 "It seems to me that our large goal is to find the ways to help our
 children become humane and strong."
 
              - Dr Haim Ginott quoted by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
From: ishizaki@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com (Audrey Ishizaki)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Warming baby bottles
Date: 12 Aug 92 21:20:55 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Laboratories Palo Alto,CA

Re: microwaved breast milk
>(Dawn M. Adelsberger-Mangan) writes:
> ...My understanding was that the immunoglobulins in breast
>milk were broken down by the microwave radiation.  So where as the 
>nutritional quality of the breast milk was not damaged-the disease
>fighting benefits were lost.

Also, because the disease fighting benefits are killed, it's been found
that bacteria grows much more quickly in microwaved breast milk; it spoils
faster [I read this in a recent magazine -either Parents or Baby Talk].

audrey ishizaki
From: CREECH@LSTC2VM.stortek.com (Teresa Creech)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: twins
Date: 12 Aug 92 16:06:45 GMT
Organization: StorageTek SW Engineering

I have been watching the alt. area for alt.twins.  Did it never get started?
If it didn't, I understand - we are all very busy.  I just wanted to make
sure I wasn't overlooking it!
Thanks, Teresa
From: chirlian@fieser.brynmawr.edu (L.E. Chirlian)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Books about Toddlers (Summary)
Date: 16 Aug 1992 21:17:34 -0500
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

      Here's a summary of the suggestions I received in response to my post
requesting titles of good books about toddlers.  The books generally fall 
into two catagories:  "child development" and "parenting skills for dealing 
with childrent".  (These are just terms I'm using to try to organize the 
summary, it's not really so cut and dried.  I'm not wedded to these terms 
so if you'd like to substitute others feel free but this is the best I can 
come up with right now).  

CHILD DEVELOPMENT

"1, 2, 3...The Toddler Years" written by the people at the Santa Cruz
Toddler center--they set up the center to follow the teachings of Magda
Gerber. 

The series "Your One Year Old," "Your Two Year Old," "Your Three Year Old,"
etc.  They're by Louise Bates Ames (and a co-author) of the Gesell
Institute at Yale University. 

_The Second Twelve Months of Life_ by Frank and Theresa Caplan.  A month by
month look at your toddler. 

_Parents Book for The Toddler Years_, by Adrienne Popper.  This is
put out by Parents Magazine.


PARENTING SKILLS

"How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk"
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (I've read this and used the techniques
succesfully on some of the students I work with.  LEC)

_Parenting Young Children_ by Dinkmeyer, McKay and Dinkmeyer.  (This
is the STEP book for young kids.)  

TODDLER TAMING by dr Christopher Green (Fawcett Columbine). (He has also
written BABIES! How to Survive (and Enjoy) Their First Year.) 

      Well, I know I said the books all fall into two catagories, but I was 
reminded of a book I've read that is more an explanation of the workings of 
a child's mind.  The book is "Tha Magic Years" and by Selma Fraiburg 
(Charles Scribner's & Sons 1959 (!)).  I thought it was fascinating.  I
read it just after Libby was born and I expect I'll reread it again as she 
grows up.  

      Thanks again to everyone who sent me suggestions.  I'll be looking 
for some of these books which should keep me busy for the next few months.  
      				Lisa

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Lisa Chirlian                                  chirlian@fieser.brynmawr.edu
 Department of Chemistry, Bryn Mawr College, Bryn Mawr, PA 19010
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: tbachman@hamline.edu (Toni Bachman)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Youngest Going To Kindergarten
Date: 12 Aug 92 21:00:32 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Hamline University, St. Paul, MN.

Hi:

I'm just curious - how many of you out there in net land have their
youngest child going off to kindergarted this fall?  And, if you do
how are you preparing that child for it?

My son has experienced all day nursery school, and all day at home with
dad who works nights, I'm sure he is not afraid - but I was just 
wondering if anyone has any neat "gettin' ready for school" rituals
they would like to pass on?????

I know what I have done already is made a calendar so he can cross off
the days, I took him school supply shopping, clothes shopping, fabric
shopping (I sew for them), but are there any other things I could do???

(I mainly want him to get even more excited than he is - my other two were
not too excited and I think it has a direct affect on their feelings about
school now  (MAYBE?????)  

Anyway, I always tend to ramble here, oh well -  Anyone have ideas????

Toni

tbachman@hamline.edu

Kids are only kids are only kids are only kids are only kids - LOVE UM!
From: rollo@xylogics.com (Dena Rollo)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Homeschooling
Date: 20 Aug 92 13:31:23 GMT
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu


This discussion of homeschooling (and how swell
it is) really gets me going. Here's my dissenting
view:

I think homeschooling is selfish, arrogant, anti-social, and
irresponsible, PLUS damaging to children. That may sound
strong, but I mean every word:

selfish: having your kid(s) to yourself. not willing
to deal with conflicts created when "family" meets
outside (real) world. not willing to share the time,
resources, and good ideas you obviously have re education
with a broader community of children

arrogant: you are the only ones who can teach your 
children the kind of values/skills you want them to
have. you and your children belong to some elite
group that must remain "untainted" by the masses and
is so "gifted" that it needs special treatment

anti-social: I believe that public education is THE
most important resource we have. homeschoolers seem
to believe that it won't matter if every parent with
the time and money to do so pull their kids out of that
system. in this way they are not so different from
private schoolers, just more extreme - they prefer
that their kids not have much contact (except as 
controlled by them) with any kids whose values might
challenge their own

irresponsible: see 'anti-social', above. we have an
obligation to keep the public school system functioning,
to improve it, to support it.

keeping your kids in a bubble won't protect them and
may harm them.


I understand the impulse to expose my child to the things
I think are important, and protect her from ideas/values/rules
I think are ignorant, harmful, silly.

BUT - IMO it makes much more sense to make sure she learns what
we think is important (in our family it's respect for others,
that everyone has the responsibility to contribute to the
community, that racism,classism,sexism, heterosexism are stupid
and wrong, that those in authority do not always know best,
etc etc etc) and then to SEND HER OUT INTO THE WORLD, where
she can figure out how to hold on to her values (or choose to 
change them ;<) amid others. And to be there for her if/when
she comes home confused. And to supplement her education where
I think it's lacking.

I do understand how those whose only choices are physically
dangerous schools or home schooling might choose the latter -
I would have a hard time sending my child to a school where
she was scared for her safety. That's a hard place to be, but
not one I think the majority of home schoolers here are posting
from. And let's all remember that the parents of the kids who
have no choices don't find it any easier, and that having the
parents with choices abandon the system like a sinking ship is
a disservice to us all.

-Dena

PS - I expect to hear from those of you homeschooling for
religious reasons. Don't bother, PLEASE: everything I've
written here goes for you, too.
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: No TV On Weekdays (Was:Misch.Child)
Organization: AT&T
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 13:51:01 GMT

In article <1992Aug14.201604.2201969@locus.com> judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer) writes:
>
> ... I have found that the most successful people I have
>ever known in life have been the ones who did NOT take "no" for an answer.

Bravo.  Thank you Judy.  I certainly know, by THAT general rule, that my
son will be the most successful person on the planet.
>
>Of course, you'd go insane if you tried to live in our house.  I view it as a
>kind of comfortable chaos in which no one really knows what will happen next 
>but the odds are good it will be a lot of fun.

After several years of knocking myself near-dead to maintain a home
"like my mother" did, I gave up when I found a nifty comfortable phrase
to describe my home:  It's one my child can relax and grow up in.

-Nance
-- 
Nance Colucci  *^*^*^*^*^*    o__    *^*^*^*^*  |  Work that body!
att!ihlpk!colucci            _.>/               | Stay fit for life.
                            (_) \(_)                           
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: nelson@mdd.comm.mot.com (Mike Nelson)
Subject: Re: Whole milk verses 2%
Organization: Motorola - Mobile Data Division; Richmond, BC
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 22:39:21 GMT

In article <2219@devnull.mpd.tandem.com> rrt@amadeus.UUCP (Robert Teisberg) writes:
>In article <1992Aug12.151818.18894@kodak.kodak.com> salvaggi@sunshine.Kodak.COM (Nanette Salvaggio) writes:
>>
>>My son is now 9 months old.  The doctor has told us to switch
>>him to milk, which he seems to like just fine.  My
>>question is that our doctor has said whole milk,  yet
...
>>are concerned about his fat intake.  What is the net experience
>>and knowlegde on this subject?
>
>
>There have been documented cases (sorry, I don't have references)
>where children have ended up mentally retarded because their parents
>fed them a virtually fat-free diet.  I doubt anyone knows the minimum 

Hardly relevent to the whole VS 2% milk debate!


>and mine, and what is good for an adult could be bad for a baby.
>After his first birthday, your son's system will be more mature and
>you can safely switch him to a lower-fat diet.  In the meantime, whole

I would suggest a transition phase not a switch after 12 months. Makes
more sense.


>milk won't make him fat; it will help to make him smart.

I resent this! My daughter had breast milk and then SOY formula.
I doubt very much that she would be any smarter had she had cows milk.

>Bob Teisberg @ Tandem Computers, Inc. | rrt@mpd.tandem.com

Mike N.

Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: kerri@admin.acadiau.ca (Kerri Brewster)
Subject: Re: Waterbeds
Organization: Acadia University
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 19:43:46 GMT

In article <1992Aug18.175625.25958@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov> lauraf@classy.Jpl.Nasa.Gov (Laura Floom) writes:

>In article <1992Aug18.173915.21610@cs.ucla.edu> grace@maui.cs.ucla.edu (Grace Chen-Ellis) writes:

>>waterbeds are supposedly dangerous for babies if they get caught between
>>the mattress and the frame -- when our kids were small, they'd sleep
>>between us - so, getting caught wasn't a problem. Now, they are 4 and 2
>>and often nap on the waterbed by themselves -- they are too big to get
>>caught.

For that reason you should probably not plan on sleeping with your baby. I 
loved sharing our (regular) bed at our camp with Katy, but couldn't do the 
same at home on our waterbed for safety reasons.

>It is also dangerous if they are face down on the waterbed. They can 
>suffocate that way.

>Another possible danger, still being debated, is the danger to a young child,
>and a deleveloping fetus if you use a heater. The EMF may be dangerous. Experts
>(and the net) havent yet agreed, but I wouldnt take the chance. Same goes
>with electric blankets.

When I found out I was pregnant, I immediately bought an EMF-shielded 
waterbed heater because of that possibility. I have no idea if the older, 
non-sheilded heater would have ACTUALLY posed any danger to the fetus, but 
the peace of mind I got was well worth the extra cost (and hassle) of 
replacing the heater. If your mother's waterbed is older than say, 1988 (?) 
you may want to look into whether or not the heater is shielded. 

I'm not saying this to send anyone off into a panic. Any relationship 
between EMF and miscarriages etc has yet to be proved. 

- Kerri
From: m13079@mwunix (Mary Anne Walters)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Youngest Going To Kindergarten
Date: 13 Aug 92 19:43:15 GMT
Article-I.D.: linus.1992Aug13.194315.2355
Organization: MITRE Corporation, McLean VA

In article <1992Aug12.210032.25683@uc.msc.edu> tbachman@hamline.edu (Toni Bachman) writes:
>Hi:
>
but I was just 
>wondering if anyone has any neat "gettin' ready for school" rituals
>they would like to pass on?????
>
>Toni
>

Well, my dad, the shutterbug, used to take pictures of us each year on
the first day of school, dressed in our best little outfits, walking down
the sidewalk alone, off on the big adventure.  

Interestingly enough, part of this ritual was for us -- making a big deal
out of the first day of school -- and the other was for my parents.  My mom
always kept these pictures, and always bought the school pictures, so in 
case, God forbid, anything would happen to us she always had a recent (within
6 months) photo.  I think we still have a whole album for about 12 years
each of the three of us setting off.  We also still take pictures of each
of us (ages 33, 28, and 24) hanging up Christmas stockings on Christmas
eve!  :-)

Mary Anne

--
--Mary Anne  
"What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all
that we love deeply becomes a part of us."  Helen Keller
                                                 [for Alexander]
From: kati@glnserv.UUCP (Lady Dragon)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: differences between boys and girls?
Date: 22 Aug 92 14:30:51 GMT
Organization: Vermi-net, Houston, Tx. 77098

cathe@xanadu.ucsb.edu (Cathe Gordon) writes:

> Hello,
>
> My husband and I were watching our 1 year old last night as
> he pushed is little wooden soapbox car around the room
> making car noises up and down the roads (legs, arms, whatever
> was in his way).  I'd never seen him do this and I certainly
> don't make car noises when we play.  My husband stated that
> he thought boys would NATURALLY have this trait and a girl
> wouldn't.  You can imagine the discussion that followed that
> sort of remark.  My question is this...does anyone know
> of a good child development book which discusses the issue of
> boys/girls developent.  Nature vs nurture and so on...
> Any other opinions on the subject are welcome.  We have a 1 year
> old and expect our second (surprise, it's a girl, we were told it
> was a boy, but an ultrasound last week at 25 weeks says a girl!
> the doctor said 99% guarantee it's a girl) on Thanksgiving Day.
> I'm hoping to prove my husband wrong (he said he'd be happy to admit
> defeat if he had a girl who made car noises).
>
> Cathe Gordon
> cathe@ece.ucsb.edu

The latest study (in the past year) said that boys will be boys and girls
will be girls. You can fuzz the line some by offering mixed toys to each
(and I did) but mostly they prefer their own toys.

* * email address: nuchat!xcluud!glnserv!kati * Houston, Texas, USA, Earth * *
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: AS.LOG@forsythe.stanford.edu (PR&T LOGIN)
Subject: Re: Cute things they say, 9 year old
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 22:52:04 GMT

Harley, 3-1/2 year old son, will see a person of a certain
charateristic and associate them to a name of someone else he knows
with those characteristics.  It can be embarrasing and amusing...

For example, he has a friend, Steven, who is black.  Every time he
sees a another child who is black, he calls him Steven.  Even
Steven's big brother, Zeke, is called Big Steven!  His Afghani (sp?)
friend, Omar, is another example.  The latest are his 2 cousins,
Charlie & Chipper.  First it was Big Charlie and Little Charlie.
When I tried to explain the name difference, I confused him more, so
now it is Big Chipper & Little Chipper.

He does recognize people as individuals, he just has problems with
their individual names.  Until he grows out of it, I hope he doesn't
get beat up at the playground for calling someone the wrong name...
(shrug)   :-)

Becky  - Proud Mom of Harley and in 6 more months his brother or
         sister...
From: kati@glnserv.UUCP (Lady Dragon)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Plain Talk About When Your Child Starts School (LONG)
Date: 22 Aug 92 14:03:56 GMT
Organization: Vermi-net, Houston, Tx. 77098

vivier@hamal.crd.ge.com (Barbara Vivier) writes:

> I find it hard to assimilate this kind of article when my child
> has been in very good quality day care since he was an infant.  In fact,
> we alternate (unconsciously) between calling it school and calling
> it day care when talking about it with him.
>
> Can anyone cite any articles that take the child's experience into
> account?  I believe the day that he enters kindergarten could
> be a big day (altho' the current plan is to have him stay in his present
> day care facility for their all day kindergarten program); but I wonder
> if this day will be a bigger milestone for me or for him.
>
> Perhaps first grade will be the bigger adjustment: bigger classes, more
> structured, etc.
>
> I'd be interested to hear the experience of other parents (& their children)
> to the first day of public school, following 4-5 years of center-based
> day care.  (BTW, no hurry responding.  We've got another year to prepare.)
>
> Barbara

My daughter went to a very good school/daycare. I too, call it either one.
They called it Excel Academy. She first went in at 2-1/2 YO and she
learned basic stuff like how to sit and how to get along with other kids
and teacher-types. At 3-1/2 YO, she moved up to the (pre)Kindergarten type
class which they called their 4YO room. In here they began teaching her
the same things they have in a "real" Kindergarten class, including the
same letter workbooks. My main fear was that she would learn so much, that
she would be bored when she got into regular classes. But it worked out
okay, since the school had a Kindergarten that was divided up into groups
and each group was taught according to its ability. It turned out that she
worked her way to the top quickly and has gone on to be in the Gifted
classes ever since. Now she goes into 4th grade Gifted.

I only hope we can do as well for our son who is 2YO now. But unless I get
a job to pay for it, I'm not sure we can.

* * email address: nuchat!xcluud!glnserv!kati * Houston, Texas, USA, Earth * *
From: kati@glnserv.UUCP (Lady Dragon)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Talk talk TALK talk
Date: 22 Aug 92 14:10:01 GMT
Organization: Vermi-net, Houston, Tx. 77098

snorthc@nswc.navy.mil (Stephen Northcutt) writes:

> Thanks for the e-mail and post replies on this thread.  I have
> learned two things already: it probably is not a phase :-(
> And that there are other parents with older (7,8,9,10 yr old kids)
> yeah, I knew it, but I still feel sometimes all the misc.kids are in
> diapers :-)

I agree with this. I also look at ALT.PARENTS-TEENS so I can see what the
older kids do also. Between the two sections, I can get answers to all my
questions.


* * email address: nuchat!xcluud!glnserv!kati * Houston, Texas, USA, Earth * *
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: reid@metis.tti.com (Reid Kneeland)
Subject: Re: Paper vs Cloth? 
Organization: Transaction Technology Inc.
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 15:14:42 GMT

In article <BsuD1E.B2o@news.cso.uiuc.edu> weller@osiris.cso.uiuc.edu (Bonnie Weller) writes:
>I realize this is probably a reoccuring thread to this news group,
>but being new to this group I have not seen the subject arise yet.

Wow, you ARE new!  This is one of our perennially favorite topics for
jiha... excuse me, discussion.

>Basically I would like to use cloth unless baby and I leave the house
>and then paper would be the way to go.  I have heard however that
>there is little advantage, other than to the environment, in using
>cloth diapers (and even that is debatable).

It is somewhat debatable.  The long-term view favors cloth, but in the
short term there are issues of local water availability which may
favor disposables.  I don't think Urbana is a drought-striken area,
though. :-)

>But I just bought a
>washer and plan on hanging the diapers out on the line, so I think it
>would be better for the environment.  

Consider using a diaper service; check your yellow pages.  They are
generally a bit cheaper than disposables, though not as cheap as
washing your own.

>What are the best diaper
>covers?  Do the velcro diaper wraps work best?  

They are great.  Brands vary somewhat; the best we found were Nikkys,
which are (surprise) among the most expensive.  A good source is mail
order from Baby Bunz & Co. I don't have the address or number, but
they advertise in most of the baby magazines.  We did not like
Diaperwraps at all (they may have imporved in the last three years).
They leaked, but that probably depends a lot on how your baby is
shaped.  I'd recommend cloth covers over plastic, since it "breathes".

=====================================================================
Reid Kneeland
reid@ttidca.tti.com  (that's MISTER reid@ttidca.tti.com to you!)
{philabs,psivax,pyramid,quad1,rdlvax,retix,rutgers}!ttidca!reid
Transaction Technology Inc., Santa Monica, CA, USA (310) 450-9111 x2499
The opinions expressed above do not necessarily etc etc...

Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers.