From: krueger@galileo.physics.arizona.edu (Ted Krueger)
Newsgroups: rec.music.christian
Subject: Re: What do you do when your child thinks Metallica is cool?
Date: 18 Nov 92 22:02:41 GMT
Organization: University of Arizona, Tucson AZ

>Ive given quite a bit of thought to this matter, especially since
>I was one of those kids who totally rebelled against their parents
>in the area of Music, and this is what Im going to do with *my*
>kids :)
>
>1.  Allow them to listen to any style of Christian Music that they wish,
>be it Rap, metal, whatever.
>
>2.  Actually go out with them to the local Christian Bookstore and
>purchase for them the kind of music they want to listen to.
>
>3.  Purchase for them their own stereo that they can put in their
>room to listen to their Christian music, any style.
>
>4.  Forbid them to listen to Secular music.
>
>Im hoping that by supporting them in numbers 1, 2, and 3, that theyll
>not rebel when it comes to number 4. :)
>
>Still, no guarantees however.  I suppose if my boy wants to rebel, there
>really isnt anything I can do about it.  I just hope for the best :)
>
>Regards,
>
>Dave.

In my experience (I have been both a Christian and public school teacher), 
rebellion nearly always occurs in children.  The intensity of that rebellion 
is almost always linked to children feeling a lack of control over their 
lives.  As a child gets older, responsibility for their actions should 
increase, as should the ability to make decisions for themself.  As little 
children, their parents must make all decisions for them.  As eighteen 
year-old, nearly high school graduates, they should likewise make many 
decisions themselves. The progression of the percentage of decisions that 
they should be given the power to make should follow something like a 
diagonal line.  While children are very small, parents should be something 
like dictators, yet by the time children are ready to leave home the role 
of the parent should be nearly completely that of advisor.  It is not at 
all profitable for parents to be controlling (or attempting to control) 
every aspect of an eighteen year-old's life.  It is, however, essential 
that older children be held personally responsible for decisions that they 
make. 

Now back to the main question.  It should be acceptable for a parent of 
a five year-old (or perhaps a ten or twelve year-old) to expressly forbid 
their children to listen to certain kinds of music.  At this age, children 
expect, no need, boundaries to be set.  This is the time of life where you 
use your parental influence to the fullest extent, attempting to train up 
your children in the way that you desire them to go.  But, if it is your 
desire to teach your children that listening to Metallica is wrong, and 
they do not agree with you by the time they are seventeen, you are too late, 
and forbidding them to listen to that band will have undesired effects.  
(Such as, going to someone else's house whose parents will allow them to 
listen to such music, or hanging around with the wrong crowd simply because 
they listen to this music.)

The bottom line is, if you, as a parent, are still acting dictatorial when 
your children reach the age of, say fifteen to seventeen, then you are too 
late.  The only constructive thing you can do at that point is to talk at 
length with your child, and see if you can get them to get into some serious 
prayer with you.  You are most likely not going to be able to reason 
with your children.  Only the Holy Spirit can teach them the things that 
you were remiss in teaching them.

Hope this helps.

From a practicing father (In Christ),

Ted

-- 
"We will bury you! We will bury you! We will bury you!"
      - some ex-Soviet leader            
                   krueger@galileo.physics.arizona.edu
Newsgroups: rec.music.christian