From: joe@spdcc.com (Joseph Francis)
Subject: Unsafe/safe,Unsafer/safer,Unsafest/safest
Organization: S.P. Dyer Computer Consulting, Cambridge MA
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 13:30:43 GMT

Since some of the debate has started (riskiness of Oral Sex), I'd like
to keep it going with a few experiential views of oral sex vs. anal
sex, which has been prompted by some private mail.

In the last ten (the HIV years) years of my sexual history, When I've
had anal sex passively and actively, I've always had it with a condom.
I haven't always used special water-based lubricant, sometimes I've
had to do with saliva, which wasn't a clever choice. In ten years,
I've had condoms break twice while I've been fucked, and at least
three or four times that I recall when I was fucking. The times the
condoms broke while I was getting fucked, they were properly put on
and lubricated. Both times I didn't find out that the condoms had
broken until the person pulled out. I usually did my best to void
myself of whatever sperm was there, but who knows. I didn't have
access to a douche. The time the condom broke while I was fucking, I
wasn't quite aware but things started feeling different, so I
eventually pulled out and voila. I don't ever cum while inserted so
granted I had tested HIV- and hadn't cum, I didn't feel too odd.

In all the time I've had passive or active oral sex the last ten
years, which is with much more frequency than anal sex, I've had
someone cum in my mouth once, and that was because the sex was really
bad and I wasn't paying attention. In that case, I spit out the sperm,
rinsed my mouth out thoroughly, and swashed coca cola for a minute. In
all cases when I have oral sex, I usually rinse out my mouth
afterwards.  If I'm in the house I have orange juice or mineral water,
or if I'm in a club have a beer or soda. Even before one knew about
AIDS, I rinsed my mouth out, cleaned up somehow, because I salivate
very freely.

I feel that oral sex, for me at least, is less risky than anal sex
with condoms.

1) The 10% (I assume total) failure rate for condoms (usually cited)
is not good odds. In the past ten years I estimate that I have been
fucked maybe 150 times (the highs and lows are quite different;
estimated times

(1992 - 2  (mostly top year, fucked about 30 times); 
 1991 - 15 (mostly bottom year, Dutch HIV- daddy, condom broke once);
 1990 - 5  (too much travelling; mostly oral and J/O);
 1989 - 6  (sex club j/o, oral; 2 known HIV+ lovers, 5 HIV- lovers);
 1988 - 6  (unfuckish year, 1/2 spent in Borneo w/Chinese HIV- lover)
 1987 - 2  (very dry year, 1/2 spent in Borneo, though London is frisky)
 1986 - 1  (long, difficult year in college, no more fucking in sex clubs)
 1985 - 15; 1984 - 25; 1983 - 30) peaking in 1982-1981 when I often would
 have unsafe sex with 10-20 people a weekend, fucked at least twice a week,
 and really riotus weekdays and nights in summer in LA. For all of
these numbers, I would have oral sex at least three to five times as
often, and j/o six to ten times as often. I cum two or three times a
day, I'm getting older, I used to be lots friskier when I had the time.

So. For breakage, if it is 5% or 2% it isn't good odds.  Even with
using a Nonoxyl-9 based lubricant, and the condom breaking, knowing
the fragility of the mucosa in the rectum I wouldn't feel secure.
Rinsing the rectum out after a condom breakage isn't a real
possibility most of the time, and as opposed to the mouth (since it
has a sense of taste), you can't be relatively sure even if you do
rinse that everything has been voided.  If you have anal sex with
condoms twice a week, you have a good chance of 2-10 condom breakages
a year. In addition, you must depend upon your partner to sense the
breakage, and pull out; you must depend upon your partner not to
ejaculate in your rectum. This is not the taking responsibility for
your own possible exposure to the HIV virus which we have long been
advised to do.

2) If one practices good oral hygene - doesn't have gingivitis, minor
oral lesions, herpes, cuts or abrasions, or bleeding gums, and doesn't
allow partners to come in the mouth (which is very easy to control),
rinses the mouth afterward, at least with water or with something that
has an virucidial property (alcohol or an acidic drink, perhaps I
tread on thin water) then I suspect the chance of infection is
extremely low. The oral mucosa are quite strong, and of a very
different nature than the rectal mucosa (except, perhaps, the
sublingual mucosa). There are salivary ducts scattered all over the
mucosa which are actively lubricating and flushing the surface with
polysaccharide-digesting enzymes; The sublingual mucosa are perhaps
the most active.

3) I don't think telling people that fucking with condoms is less
risky than oral sex is good advice. I feel that if oral sex was
remotely as risky as protected anal sex, I wouldn't be seeing people
populating gloryholes for blowjobs who have been around for the last
10 years, and the 10 years before that, and so on. The people who lay
down, dropped their pants, and offered their ass to all comers have
all but disappeared. 

4) Telling people that oral sex is less risky than fucking with
condoms isn't to tell people to run out and double their amount of
oral sex. This is tantamount to saying that freely available abortion
increases teenage pregnancy.

5) As the long past posting on the riskiness of oral sex uncovers, the
North American medical authorities who should know and speak out
unhestitantly on the subject are of incredibly varying opinion. As
several have noted in contrast, European medical authorities are in
accord that it is relatively risk-free.

-- 
US Jojo; damp, slighly soiled, but tasty nonetheless.