HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mlsa@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Pickup Line List wanted!
Date: 20 Nov 92 03:16:33 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Nov19.180339.3834@iscnvx.lmsc.lockheed.com>, record@force.ssd.lm
sc.lockheed.com writes:
>In article <4f2fcQS00iV1Q65IUr@andrew.cmu.edu>, Steve Luis Sirotzky <ssab+@andr
ew.cmu.edu> writes:
>>
>>
>>Here's some that I've heard:
>>
>>    "Hey, Come here often... You could with me."
>>
>>    "Hey you know that dress would look great on my bedroom floor."
>>
>>    "If I were to tell you that you had a great body, would you hold it
>>against me?"   (Think about it)
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Those are just three that stick in my head. If people could post more,
>>That would be great. I'd like to see them.
>>
>How about: "I'm new in town.  Could you give me directions to your apartment?"
>
If you happen to meet a chick while she is shopping for a new outfit? "Do you
know what would look absolutely terrific on you?  Me."
-- 
MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN
758-0207
MLSA

"I really do appreciate the fact you're sitting here, you're voice sounds so
wonderful but your face don't look too clear so barmaid bring a pitcher,
another round of brew, why don't we get drunk and screw?"- J. Buffett
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b)
Subject: Re: The Real GGBJ posted, finally!
Posting-Front-End: Winix Conference v 92.05.15  1.20 (running under MS-Windows)
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 10:45:13 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.164814.7242@spectra.com>, johnson@spectra.com (boyd johnson) writes:


>In article <16100061@hpsad.sad.hp.com> marsh@hpsad.sad.hp.com (Marshall Ward) writes:
>>
>>The joke is............
>>ON YOU!  There is NO GGBJ!
>>IT DOES NOT EXIST!  
>
>Alas the inside jokes about both the GGBJ and BOFH are out.
>So many people requesting the Green Golf Ball Joke and the
>Bastard Operator From Hell series and neither one of them
>really exists.  We've all had our laugh, now it's time to 
>put them away until next semester and start teasing some 
>new students.
>
>;-)
>
>-- 
>======== Boyd Johnson    nosc!spectra.com!johnson  San Diego, Ca. ========

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wrong, cretin...by now, we all know there IS a ggbj....and most of us
have read bofh 1-15 too.
Insiders are not always insiders, because sometimes myths are TRUE...

-- 
Terje Johansen at Trondheim College of Engineering, Norway.

Bury me deep. The next generations will be hungry.
From: guyh@hpubvwa.nsr.hp.com (Guy Hyde)
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 18:38:41 GMT
Subject: Re: >> Other ways to say vomit..
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Bellevue Sales
Newsgroups: rec.humor

Calling into the porcelain mug for "RALPH" and "EARL" .
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: meposner@cayley.uwaterloo.ca (Marshall Posner)
Subject: Re: Christmas songs
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 21:08:54 GMT

In article <1992Nov17.034931.163190@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, tes0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (THOMAS EDWIN SCHMIDLIN) writes:
> No, no, no, it goes like this
> 
> 8 comic books
> 7 packs of smokes
> 6 packs of touk cords(?)
> 5 GOLDEN TOUKS
           ^^^^^
What the hell is a TOUK?  Don't you mean toque?
It's what we Canadians wear when it gets cold, so we don't freeze our brains
that know how to spell.



                      meposner@undergrad.math.uwaterloo.ca
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The material you have just read may |:|            Toronto Argonauts 
have contained words or phrases not |:|         1991 Grey Cup Champions
suited for all members of the audi- |:|            Toronto Blue Jays
ence. Reader discretion is advised. |:|       1992 World Series Champions
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"When you get to university, you realize that biology is really chemistry,
chemistry is really physics, physics is really math, and math is really tough."
 							-Barney Matisko

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: 002519m@ace.acadiau.ca (KRISTIAN AARON MACCALL)
Subject: Re: Wanna buy a duck?
Organization: Acadia University
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 17:29:20 GMT

In article <sf0OtpW00iV087i7lM@andrew.cmu.edu> Christopher Bradley Devlin <cd1i+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 20:08:05 -0500 
>From: Christopher Bradley Devlin <cd1i+@andrew.cmu.edu>
>Subject: Wanna buy a duck?
>A duck.
>
A duck you can pluck
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: 10 reasons why girlfreinds are better
From: alanb@sdl.mdcbbs.com (Alan Braggins)
Date: 16 Nov 92 16:08:13 GMT
Organization: Shape Data (Division of EDS), Cambridge UK
In-reply-to: tumidity@netlink.cts.com's message of Fri, 13 Nov 92 16:39:11 PST

>>>>> On Fri, 13 Nov 92 16:39:11 PST, tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry) said:

> terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b) writes:

>>  10 REASONS WHY GIRLFRIENDS ARE BETTER THAN COMPUTERS

Copied from a posting on another system...

    So does anyone out there have an answer to Calvin's (of Calvin and Hobbes) question

    "Is happiness really all about fast cars, women, and money?

    or is it just fast cars and money?"


    On the car side -
    At least when a car lets you down it doesn't lie to you as well.
    A car doesn't use the icy weather as a reason not to see you - till July.
    A car doesn't spend two hours telling you how wonderful it's new
    driver is, then apologize for being tactless, and promise not to do it
    again because he isn't that important anyway.
    A car doesn't spend two hours telling you how wonderful it's new
    driver is, then apologize for being tactless, and promise not to do it
    again because he isn't that important anyway *AGAIN*.
    I have three cars - none of them want me to get rid of the others.
    A car doesn't try telling you that you deserved a better model anyway.
    Cars are safer.
    My friends don't tell me I'd be better off without my cars.

    On the other hand -
    We're talking about a statistically small sample here.
    She's still a friend - I've no idea where my ex-cars are.
    My friends don't keep telling me what I need is another car.
--
     Alan Braggins, alanb@sdl.mdcbbs.com, abraggins@cix.compulink.co.uk
Shape Data - A division of EDS-Scicon Limited.   Cambridge, UK +44-223-316673
   "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."
 "My employer does not necessarily share my views - but I'm working on it."
From: abl1@jaguar.uofs.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: re Green golf ball joke
Date: 23 Nov 92 22:22:47 GMT
Organization: University of Scranton

I'm tired of these green golf ball joke rubbish,  here's the joke

	Little johnny's teacher decides to be fair about assigning homeowrk
onthe weekends.  Every Friday afternoon she asks the class a question.  If the
class can answer the question they will be permitted to forget their homework
for the weekend.  Every Friday for months the teacher asks a different question
, but the 3rd grade class cannot answer. Little johnny hates the homework and
can't take another week of it. FInally, little johnny has an idea.
He takes to gold ball and paints them green.  That friday, just as the 3:00
bell rings and the teacher prepares to ask the question, little johnny rolls
the balls up the aisle.  The teacher picks up the balls and says "Alright,
who's the funny guy with the green balls?"
	Little Johnny raises his hand an jumps up "i know, I Know, it's kermit"
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
From: demes@chopin.udel.edu (James A Demes)
Subject: REQUEST:Clinton letter-rearrange joke.
Followup-To: poster
Keywords: Clinton
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 08:14:04 GMT

The other day, someone posted a funny observation on Bill Clinton's
name - the letters rearranged said something cool, but I forget
now what it was.  Can someone send me his full name and what it is
rearranged???  Thanks in advance.

--
UU    UU      Jim Demes  (demes@chopin.udel.edu or demes@freezer.cns.udel.edu)
UU    UU      210 Pencader Hall B /------------------------------------------|
UU  DDDDDDD   Newark, DE 19717   /  "If there's nothing wrong with me, maybe |
UUUUUUUU  DD  (302) 837-1067    / there's something wrong with the universe!"|
    DD    DD  Alpha Phi Omega  /     - Beverly Crusher, ST:TNG "Remember Me" | 
    DDDDDDD     Zeta Sigma    /----------------------------------------------|
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kmadden@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Karen T Madden)
Subject: 50+ ways to dump a blind date
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 14:37:47 GMT

Thanks to everyone who sent me a copy of this.  I really appreciate it.
--Karen
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: eric@homebase.vistachrome.com (Eric Brunson)
Subject: Finish this joke.
Keywords: Breakfast Club Poodle Salami Naked
Organization: Vista-Chrome Incorporated
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 21:50:31 GMT

Fans of the movie "The Breakfast Club" will reconize this joke.

While Judd (sp?) Nelson is crawling through the suspended ceiling he 
is talking nervously to himself and begins to recite this joke:

A naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two
foot salami under the other.
The bartender says, "I guess you won't be needing a drink."
and the lady says...

That's when Nelson falls through the ceiling into the hall.

Has anyone ever heard the rest of the joke (if there ever was one)
or can anyone come up with a good punchline?

-- 
| | Dear Auntie Em,            |     Eric Brunson
|o|    I hate Kansas.  I hate  |     eric@vistachrome.com
| |    the farm.  I hate you.  |     brunson@math.fsu.edu
| |    I'm leaving.            |
| |               Dorothy      |
|o| P.S.                       |
| |   Took the dog.            |
 ------------------------------
From: john@attcan.UUCP (John Benfield)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: ggbj
Date: 20 Nov 92 20:57:15 GMT
Organization: AT&T Canada - MIS Network Development

In article <16NOV199214224311@rosie.uh.edu>, inde7fw@rosie.uh.edu (Loftis, Danny) writes:
> 
> 
>       okay, the fun's over.  the joke doesn't actually exist.  it was created
> to drive people crazy.

Newbies....

They're just soooo cute <ack!>

*Cujo*
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dionc@ireq.hydro.qc.ca (Claude Dion ETUDIANT sept-dec 92)
Subject: Re: Male Toilet Habits
Organization: Institut de recherche d'Hydro-Quebec, Quebec, Canada
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 18:51:27 GMT

To more types to had to the list:

SHARP-SHOOTER TYPE
 Leans back on wall opposite to urinal, pisses accross the room.

TIMID AND EMBARASSED TYPE
 Hides tool by pressing himself against urinal.  Can be recognized
 by wet spot on front of shirt.


(These opinions are not my employers, not even my own)

"I didn't do it.  Nobody saw me do it.  Can't prove anything"
   -Bart Simpson
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mechalas@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (John Mechalas)
Subject: Re: In search of e!!!
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 13:54:01 GMT

In article <1992Nov20.220338.609@bradford.ac.uk> D.G.Legros@bradford.ac.uk (DG LEGROS) writes:
>Brian J. Cail, University of Massachusetts (cail@ecs.umass.edu) wrote:
>: IN SEARCH of e!!!
>: 
>: If anyone has or can generate a approximation of the number e (2.71828 . . .)
>: could you please e-mail me the output?  I'd like an approximation to 50,000
>: decimal places to fit next to a print-out of Pi to the same decimal place.
>: 
>: 					Bri
>: 					<Cail@ecs.umass.edu>
>: 
>: -----
>: what would the world do without engineers?
>
>
>And why pray-tell is this in rec.humor, huh?

Well...that fact that someone would want e or pi to 50,000 decimal places 
*is* kind of humorous...  ;)

-- 
John Mechalas                      | If you think my opinions are Purdue's, then
mechalas@mentor.cc.purdue.edu      |      you vastly overestimate my importance.
Purdue University Computing Center |             Help put a ban on censorship :)
General Consulting                 |                       #include disclaimer.h
From: brettb@bcarh991.bnr.ca (Brett Buckingham)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Quotes in a list seen on T shirts
Date: 18 Nov 92 22:19:39 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Distribution: world
Organization: Bell Northern Research Ltd.

In article <1992Nov10.124034.25355@spock.UUCP> friar@spock.uucp (Tom Walcott) writes:
>In article <jh25s56.4uus@sycom.mi.org> jh25s56@sycom.mi.org (Jim Harvey) writes:
>>   To do, is to be.....     Plato
>>   To be, is to do.....     Sarte
>>   Do be do be do......     Sinatra

To be,... or,... to be, NOT!... Wayne & Garth

--
R. Brett Buckingham    HPSOS development group       Any opinions expressed
brettb@bnr.ca          Bell-Northern Research Ltd.   are my own.
(613)763-7273          P.O. Box 3511, Station "C"
                       Ottawa, Ontario K1Y 4H7
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Dave Jensen <djensen@claven.idbsu.edu>
Subject: Re: UNIONS
Organization: Morrison Center for the Performing Arts
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 07:18:05 GMT

How can you tell the union members kids at the playground?

They're the ones standing around watching the other kids play.
From: Mark.Steiger@f4018.n282.z1.tdkt.kksys.com (Mark Steiger)
Sender: FredGate@tdkt.kksys.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Mommy Mommy
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 02:02:27 -0600

Mommy Mommy!  Why is daddy so pale??
Shut up and keep digging..


 * Origin: The Igloo BBS Minneapolis 612-574-2079 (1:282/4018)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rhino@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Lothar of the Hill People)
Subject: Re: Green Golf Ball Joke
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 04:22:11 GMT

In article <1992Nov20.020334.29061@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> kstrohm@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Kyle W Strohm) writes:
>    Ok...I've got it.  Somebody give me the joke in morse code....
... --.-.  .-.---.-.   -.-.- -.-. ---. -.-. -. -. -.-.-.-.- .-. -. . ... -.
.--..- -..- -.- --..- --- .-. --.  .-...  -...-. -. .-.---.. .--.-.-.-

hahahahahahahahahahahahah!

-- 
Purdue University, Where the fun never begins!
rhino@sage.cc.purdue.edu   

Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.tasteless.jokes
From: jstark@mcshh.Hanse.DE (Jens Stark)
Subject: Re: Car Acronyms
Organization: Point of Presence & MCS Hamburg
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 16:39:34 GMT

gckchin@ntuix.ntu.ac.sg (Kelvyn Chin) writes:

>Thi Van Ausdal (ausdal@ece.scarolina.edu) wrote:
>: 
>: > FIAT - Fix It Again Tony
>: 
>: 
>: >Well there you have it!! Add on if you can!!
>:

>FIAT-  Fuck in a Taxi.

v
>kelvyn 

FIAT - feces in all tires...

Anything for VOLVO and SAAB ?

Piss Off, Ruthless Shiteater Coming Here Everytime ? Nah ! thats a bad one...

   Jens
From: pdlemass@unix2.tcd.ie (Something original)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Haha GGBJ!
Date: 18 Nov 92 09:06:29 GMT
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin

In <1992Nov17.011558.1948@gn.ecn.purdue.edu> orlando@gn.ecn.purdue.edu (Peter J. Orlando) writes:


>I for one have gotten a good laugh at seeing everyone requesting
>the Green golf ball joke.  Geez,  I remember when everyone was requesting
>for it a couple of years ago.  It is funny how some people dont learn  or
>even catch a clue.  To the people who posted that they have it or have seen it,
>its a sort of good prank.  Sort of like to go get a bucket of steam or even
>get a knot puller (knot from a tree).  And to the people who keep 
>requesting for it.  This is not a slam but think about it people.
>Think about the comment a sucker born every minute.
>    

I cannot believe how long the prank went on for . HOW do these people 
actually get into college ? and who gives them computer accounts to mess
about on.
Ah well I have to rush ,-I must collect the keys to the yard so as I can
deliver the glass hammer to my commanding officer.
BTW does anyone know where I could buy a black-pudding bender? In the US
perhaps?
Peter.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b)
Subject: Re: Dinosaurs and Elephants
Posting-Front-End: Winix Conference v 92.05.15  1.20 (running under MS-Windows)
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 20:58:33 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.153924.23882@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel) writes:


>In article <1992Nov18.163039.12279@waikato.ac.nz> rgtysec19@waikato.ac.nz (Shar
>lene Mehrtens) writes:
>>
>>
>>Q:  What do you get if you cross a homosexual dinosaur with an elephant?\
>>
>>
>>A:  A Megasouras (mega sore ass)
>
>Elephant?  Why elephant?
>
>-Mark

ok, I leave it to you. YOU try to cross a homosexual dinosaur with 
ANYTHING.

-- 
Terje Johansen at Trondheim College of Engineering, Norway.

Bury me deep. The next generations will be hungry.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: friar@spock.uucp (Tom Walcott)
Subject: Re: Green Golf Ball Joke
Organization: Choate Rosemary Hall
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 23:42:20 GMT

In article <27494@dog.ee.lbl.gov> /dev/null writes:
>	Having seen all the fuss about the GGBJ, I posted the damn thing to
>	close the topic for good (hopefully). It seems that the postnews
>	facility at my site has been acting up lately, and the article did
>	not make it to all sites on the net...... Did most of you get it ??
>
>	If not, __DO NOT__ send me email. I will __NOT__ respond to email
>	messages.
>
>	I know I risked my usenet access privileges by posting the GGBJ, but 
>	I guess it was worth it.       :-)
>
>	Hey folks, anybody got an alternate punchline to the GGBJ ?? Maybe a 
>	witty repartee from the vicar or the tart ??   8->
>
>	Prem!

Why, yes.  I got it just fine.  Some of the other good punchlines that I have
heard include:
   From the Waitress: "So, would you like some root beer with, or without ice?"
   From the Tart: "Ah, well.  Here we go again."

Friar
-- 
     "Don't damn me when I speak my piece of mind, 
     'cause silence isn't golden if I'm holdin' it inside."
                           --- W. Axl Rose

friar@choate.edu
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes,rec.humor
From: teskey@plains.NoDak.edu (Dr. Snake Voivod)
Subject: Re: Pickup Line List wanted!
Summary: More lines
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 21:18:08 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: North Dakota Higher Education Computing Network

In article <4f2fcQS00iV1Q65IUr@andrew.cmu.edu> ssab+@andrew.cmu.edu (Steve Luis Sirotzky) writes:
>
>Here's some that I've heard:
>    "Hey, Come here often... You could with me."
>    "Hey you know that dress would look great on my bedroom floor."
>    "If I were to tell you that you had a great body, would you hold it
>against me?"   (Think about it)

How about these favorites:

Your place or my car?

How about a pizza and a fuck?  HEY!  Don't you like pizza?

So, howzabout the two of us going back to my place and you run your fingers
through the hair on my back?

Heres a beaut..

Excuse me.. want to dance?
(if she says no, then say..)
Maybe you didn't hear me.. I said you look really fat in those pants!

and finally.. "Gee.. you sure don't perspire much!"

============================================================================
Mark W. Teskey                            

INTERNET:                  teskey@plains.nodak.edu		o/
BITNET:                    teskey@plains                       <|   stayin'
UUCP:                      ...!uunet!plains!teskey	       / >  alive!
============================================================================
-- Hi! I am a .signature virus. Copy me into your .signature to join in! --


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bill@gaza.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu (William J. King)
Subject: Request for the ACSII 'Screwed' cartoon, anyone?
Organization: University of Hawaii
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1992 00:16:37 GMT


Is there an ascii version of the guy with a large screw thru his
abdomin available?

--
    bill@uhunix.bitnet 
    bill@uhunix.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu 
    21.19 N.LAT by 157.52 W.LONG          
    Fish on the Byte
From: da003b@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Vogon Poet)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: The Green Golf Ball Joke
Date: 20 Nov 92 23:55:47 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

I told the green golf ball joke at lunch today, with a twist, and it was
twice as funny!

The twist is simple, replace the one-legged nun with a bald one.  HA!
-- 
| Darrell Anderson         | aka Vogon Poet                                |
| CPU Box 274046 U of Roch | internet: da003b@uhura.cc.rochester.edu       |
| Rochester, NY 14627-4046 | "Freedom is not the right to do what we want, |
| (716) 274-3672 [x4-3672] |  Freedom is the power to do what we ought."   |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: carlos@morgan.ucs.mun.ca (Miguel Borges)
Subject: Re: The Real GGBJ posted, finally!
Organization: Memorial University of Newfoundland
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 20:54:34 GMT

ronaldd@cbnewse.cb.att.com (ronald.h.davis) writes:

>>In article <16100061@hpsad.sad.hp.com> marsh@hpsad.sad.hp.com (Marshall Ward) writes:
>>>The joke is............
>>>ON YOU!  There is NO GGBJ!
>>>IT DOES NOT EXIST!  
>i know the joke does exist because i posted it a year ago on april 1.
>even if i hadn't been the one to post it would still be obvious that
>this statement is ridiculous.  i figure, this wouldn't keep coming up
>if there weren't something to it.  don't you think???

I read the Green Goldball Joke a few  months ago.  In fact, I may have
it filed away here somewhere... 

Send me e-mail if you are really desperate for it.
-- 
C. Miguel Borges        and his EVIL TWIN BROTHER (tm)        Carlos M. Borges
carlos@morgan.ucs.mun.ca <-------------------------> carlos@garfield.cs.mun.ca
##############################################################################
Memorial University of Newfoundland, St. John's, NF. Canada []*[] <-cheap flag
From: "frank rosenbaum" <frank.rosenbaum@execnet.com>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: sexual jokes desired
Date: 13 Nov 92 17:25:00 EST
Reply-To: "frank rosenbaum" <frank.rosenbaum@execnet.com>
Distribution: rec
Organization: Executive Networks Information

CHIn article <1992Nov2.010338.1#vax1.mankato.msus.edu> zeeni@vax1.mankato.msus.edu writes:
>JOKES OF SEXUAL NATURE DESIRED URGENTLY!!!!!!
>
>
>
>
>ZEENI@MKVAX1.MANKATO.MSUS.EDU

CHAlso send to hollenbk@chezmoto.ai.mit.edu


Chris.

Back in the days of the king Castration,
the counts, that is the no counts and the low counts
were all sitting around the square table shooting camel turds
for in those days, bull shit was unheard of.
Along comes little Davie, riding in on his creamy white camalot.
"Sit down" says the king.
"I'd rather not" says little Davie.
"You dare defy the word of a king?".
"Yep".
Little Davie was thrown to the lions with but one bar of chocolate
X-Lax to survive on.  "I'll starve" says little Davie.
"You'll shit" said the king.
The lion was released, he put his left paw on little Davies right 
shoulder and his right paw on little Davies left shoulder.
"That tickles" said little Davie.
"What tickles?" said the lion.
"Testicles ha ha."
For his breave deed, Little Davie was summoned to come fourth, but 
slipped on shit and came fifth.
The shit flew at random, random ducked.  The shit hit the king, SHIT 
said the king.  All at once 50,000 pair of metal pants hit the floor 
and the lords and ladies were squatting and squirting.
"Where's the Queen?" said little Davie.
"Oh she's up in bed with Gonnoreah."
"You mean that bastard is back in town?"
"Where's the princess?" said little Davie.
"FUCK the princess!"
Once again 50,000 pairs of metal pants hit the floor, and there was a 
mad dash to the princess's room.  Little Davie got there first tho and 
closed and locked the door.
"Roll over Princess." said little Davie
"I'll be fucked if I do."
"You'll be cornholled if you don't"
Seeing the gravity of the situation, little Davie rode away on his 
creamy white Camalot, never to be heard of again.

_________________________________________________

               Frank
---
  1st 1.01 #710  I'm in bed by 10:30pm, home by 1:00 am
--
Executive Network Information System  (914) 667-4567
International ILink Host
From: vaccaro@novavax.UUCP (N. Trafford Vaccaro)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Babies
Date: 21 Nov 92 07:31:07 GMT
Organization: Nova University, Fort Lauderdale, FL

In article <1992Nov16.095754.1762@guvax.acc.georgetown.edu>, gillon@guvax.acc.georgetown.edu writes:
> How do you make a baby float?
> 
> 	Take your foot of its head.
> 
> 
> What a sad state of human affairs when some consider this funny.

Yeah, especially since the answer is: 1 can of root beer, add 1 scoop
of baby.