From: msanghvi@sol.ulowell.edu (Mehul Sanghvi)
Subject: Re: Desi friendships (was Re: Who are you more attracted to?)
Reply-To: msanghvi@cs.ulowell.edu
Organization: UMass-Lowell CS Dept.
	<1992Jul14.130659.503@ibmpa.awdpa.ibm.com>
	<1992Jul14.193639.26916@watson.ibm.com>
	<1992Jul17.180955.4063@ibmpa.awdpa.ibm.com>
	<1992Jul20.191931.18655@draco.macsch.com>
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 22:09:18 GMT


   In article <1992Jul17.180955.4063@ibmpa.awdpa.ibm.com>, usp@blondie.austin.ibm.com (Uma S. Pandey) writes:

>> I guess one of the reasons for this is because I don't speak
>> south indian language or Gujrati, and most of desi people I come in contact 
>> with are either Gujrati or South Indian, And whenever we desi guys meet, it
>> happens a lot of time that southerners start to speak their southern language
>> and gujrati starts speaking gujrati, and I feel foreigner among desi's. But
>> when I socialize with non-desi, at least everybody speaks the same language
>> "English", and I feel that these non-desi are real DESI's and desi's are
>> Non-Desi.
 
> I've never found the native language to be a barrier when I make friends
> with "desis". I don't speak Gujrati or any of the South Indian languages
> either. You just have to tell them that you don't speak their language
> and they will quickly switch to English. Besides, the desis I hang out
> with are more likely to speak English than their native language.

>> This is the catch, see, I am all alone, like most of the other desi's, and
>> since I don't have that many desi friends, I don't go to desi get-togethers
>> like you do. And Hence, you get to meet a lot of Desi Gals/ and I don't.

> How about making desi friends and going to desi parties with them?
> Since you know some Gujratis, go to a "garba" with them at Navratri.
> Go to an ISA function at the local University. You can meet desi girls
>at lots of places, just don't expect to meet them at the nearest bar.

>> Saeed, yes it is nice to have a very settled family in US.

> Its helpful, but not necessary. 

> Rohit


yes i agree with Rohit, if u ask your desi friends to speak in english they 
will stop speaking in their native language, you might have to say it quiet a 
few times in the begining but eventually they will do it without you having to
tell them (although my guess is that by that time you urself should've picked a
bit of the their lingo as well).

My roommates and i have quiet a few non-desi arikan friends and we've known
them from say a year to year and a half and when we do have gatherings at my
place we usally have a pretty mixed crowd since that is what our group is, but 
non of them have any complains of us starting to speak in Hindi in fact they 
join us in it. it started with food and swears but they have picked up quiet 
a bit. their most fav line is "chaal tere ghar pe ja ke khaana khate hain" 
(lets go to ur place and have some food)

i guess it is just a question of making an effort on both sides (i am not
criticising anyone just making an observation)

also the suggestions Rohit makes are pretty good ones and bars are only 
a possibility if you're in a big city like Boston or NY or LA etc (a remote one
at that as well)

a well settled family is very helpful but not definately not neccesary

just putting in my $0.02



peace

--
===============================================================================
Mehul "raja lakhan" Sanghvi    | University of Massachusets at Lowell, CS Dept.
Inet: msanghvi@cs.ulowell.edu  | US Mail:  754 Aiken St. #11
UUCP: harvard!ulowell!msanghvi |           Lowell, MA. 01850-1804
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian