From: dave@cs.arizona.edu (Dave Schaumann)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: Short story -- "The Interview"
Date: 11 Nov 92 05:28:30 GMT
Organization: U of Arizona CS Dept, Tucson


I just had an idea for a story today, so I wrote it up.

However, it does contain some small spoilers for the new episodes
"Rascals" and "A Fistful of Data's", so...

SPOILERS....

Original idea by Dave Schaumann.  Characters (except for the MC) and
events based on the Paramound television show "Star Trek: The Next
Generation".


		The Interview

		    by

		Dave Schaumann
		November 10, 1992



MC:  "Hello!  Good day, ladies, gentlemen, and sentients everywhere.  Today,
  on _Issues in the Federation_, we are very fortunate indeed.  We are coming
  to you live via subspace from starbase 196, to bring you what should hopefully
  be quite an extraordinary interview.  Today's guest was the first Klingon
  admitted to Starfleet Acadamy, and is now chief security officer aboard the
  Federations flagship, the U.S.S. Enterprise.  Please join me in welcoming
  Worf, son of Mohg!"
  
Applause.  Worf enters, and sits in a chair opposite the MC.

MC: Tell me, Worf -- how is it to be the first Klingon to serve duty
  in Starfleet?

WORF: It is an honor.  Captain Picard has shown himself to be a true warrior.

MC: You've been chief of security for, what, 4 years now?

WORF: Yes.

MC: How well would you say you've done at the job?

WORF: I've had several commendations, including --

MC: And a reprimand.

WORF: What?!

MC: When you killed Duras.  Captain Picard gave you a reprimand.

WORF: I was not aware that /that/ was common knowlege.

MC: Isn't it true that Duras had a legitimate claim to lead the Klingon
  Empire, and you had a personal motive to see he didn't gain that position?

WORF (obviously working to control his temper): That is NOT a matter I am
  free to discuss.

MC: Very well, very well.  Let's take a look at your record as security
  officer.  Isn't it true, that in spite of being a Klingon warrior, you've
  been physically overpowered on a number of occasions while on duty?

WORF: We have encountered a number of extraordinarily powerful beings.  And
  while it is true that some have gained a temporary advantage, we have
  always proved superior to those who would challenge us.

MC: Would you call the Ferengi ``extraordinarily powerful''?

WORF: What?!  No -- of course not.  They act rashly, and have no honor!
  they are only motivated by `profit'.

MC: And yet a small band of Ferengi with little more than two surplus
  Klingon ships were nearly able to take the Enterprise, reportedly so
  they could sell it to the highest bidder.

WORF (not really in control of his temper): We repelled those vermin
  from our ship.  Perhaps there is MORE vermin that need repelling...

Worf gets up from his chair.

MC: Now, now lieutenant!  I'm a journalist, and --

WORF: And I am a KLINGON!  If you have doubts about my ability as a
  warrior, challenge me, and you will have a first-hand knowlege of
  my ability!

MC (backing away): Eh, uh, no... ah -- perhaps we should move along
  then.  Ah.. holodecks!  How do you feel about holodecks on starships?

WORF (calming down): They are an excellent tool.  They provide tireless
  opponents to hone a warriors essential skills.

MC: Yes, of course.  But they're not without there dangers, are they?
  In fact I believe that on several occasions, members of the Enterprise's
  crew have been endangered by a malfunctioning holodeck.

WORF: Where do you get your information?!  You must have a SPY on board!
  When I find them, it will be most unpleasant.  First for them, then
  for you.

MC (not noticing Worf's comment):  In fact, you were recently trapped
  in the holodeck, and reportedly surrendered a prisoner because of
  extortion.

Worf says nothing, just growls and stares.  The MC continues obliviously.

MC: In fact, this behavior took place in front of your son, did it not?

WORF: MRRRAAARRRGGG!

Worf leaps up, grabs his chair, and begins chasing the MC around the
studio.  The MC escapes barely in time.

MC:  Aaaah!  Oh! Oh, dear!  I'm... I'm afraid that's all the time
  <duck>  we have for _Issues <dodge> in the Federation_ today.
  Be sure to join us <skid> next week for <trip><whack!><THUD>

WORF: Next week's broadcast is going to be... postponed.

(fade to <grab> black)

<whimper>
--
Dave Schaumann			dave@cs.arizona.edu