HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: betsey@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Elizabeth Fike)
Subject: Re: Traditional drinking songs.....
Followup-To: alt.folklore.college
Reply-To: betsey@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Elizabeth Fike)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 18:31:39 GMT

Oh boy oh boy oh boy...

In the Columbia University Marching Band, we have a lot of
drinking songs.  A verse from the last post reminded me of this
one...

Oh, the itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Up came the sun and dried up all the rain
And the itsy-bitsy-son-of-a-bitch went up the spout again

Oh, Harvard's run by Radcliffe, Radcliffe's run by Yale
Yale's run by Vassar, Vassar's run by tail
Princeton's for the pretty boys
The jocks all go to Penn
But high above Cayuga there's
A race of hairy men 

Oh we are a race of hairy-chested men
Hairy-chested men, hairy-chested men
Oh we are a race of hairy-chested men
We are from Cornell
We are from Cornell, we are from Cornell
Oh we are a race of hairy-chested men 
We are from Cornell.

But what are we REALLY?

Oh we are a bunch of simple farmer boys, etc.

And what do we take?

Oh we all take hotel administration, etc.

And what do we wear?

Oh we all are clad in polyester...

We are the Cornell Band

And what do WE wear?

Oh we all are clad in Turbo-Acrylic

We are the Columbia Band

*note -- the CUMB wears ugly powder-blue TurboAcrylic (tm)
sweaters.  It's a hate-hate relationship.  The Cornell Big Red
band wears "traditional" marching band attire and marches
accordingly.  Yuck.

If you want more drinking songs, ask! 
We have a great one sung to our Alma Mater...

betsey



*******************************************************************************
Betsey Fike <betsey@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu>
CC '94/SEAS '94, Computer Science/Electrical Engineering

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: enw2049@zeus.tamu.edu (WALKE, ERIK N)
Subject: Re: Renaming Hallowed Institutions
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 19:57:00 GMT

In article <1992Sep30.153549.11396@news.unomaha.edu>, sdavis@cwis.unomaha.edu (Scott Davis) writes...
>In an earlier post, G Fowler mentioned that two BYU cafeterias were
>given more appropriate names by the student body -- the Cannon Center
>was known as the Cancer Center, Morris Center as Morbid Center.
> 
>Here, UNO doesn't stand for University of Nebraska at Omaha, but rather
>University of No Opportunity.
> 
>Any others? 

       Both my parents and brother have graduated from the

                     University of Northern Iowa 

       in Cedar Falls.  They all report that various campus wags and 
       malcontents state that the school's initials-UNI-actually stand 
       for either "University of Neglible Importance" or "University of 
       No Intelligence."  Being the third-largest (ie, smallest) state
       university, UNI sometimes suffers an institutional inferiority 
       complex . . .

***************************************************************************
  All opinions expressed by this user are well-reasoned and insightful. 
  Needless to say, they are not those of his advisor or university.
**************************************************************************
From: sverkerw@meryl.csd.uu.se (Sverker Wiberg)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: how to identify a freshman
Date: 13 Oct 92 23:53:19
Organization: CS, University of Uppsala, Sweden
	<Sep.16.20.00.02.1992.15657@remus.rutgers.edu>
	<1992Sep17.180105.14940@vax5.cit.cornell.edu>
	<zlsiida.193@fs1.mcc.ac.uk>
NNTP-Posting-Host: meryl.csd.uu.se
In-reply-to: zlsiida@fs1.mcc.ac.uk's message of 7 Oct 92 09:27:52 GMT

In Sweden we use 'recentior' or 'recce'. 
--
Sverker Wiberg  <sverkerw@student.docs.uu.se>
  o===[----	Har du knuffat n}gon varg idag?
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: hhyeoh@IASTATE.EDU (Yang2 Hui1 Huang2)
Subject: looking for 'stories' about hampshire coll
Reply-To: hhyeoh@IASTATE.EDU (Yang2 Hui1 Huang2)
Organization: Iowa State University
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 16:56:37 GMT

Hello,
	.....er, I'm not sure whether I've posted to the correct group. Anyway, I'm
very keen to know more about Hampshire College in Amherst. I'd be very much
appreciated if anyone who wants to share some 'stories' about Hampshire College
with me could e-mail me at the above address. TNXE6.

Best regards,
hwang.
From: henrydm@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Omar and Jeff's Mom.
Date: 14 Oct 1992 20:52:46 GMT
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Reply-To: henrydm@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: hydra.rose-hulman.edu



	This is a great one.


	
		Omar was on the phone with his girlfriend last year. (One
	that he had met over the vax and had never even seen.)  He was talking
	about a computer or something (rr rr rr rr is the convention we use for
	Omarspeak). So he was talking...rr rr rrr rr.   The call waiting
	thingy beeps and Omar hits the button.  For some reason, Omar thought
	he was still on the phone with his girlfriend and kept right on
	talking.  The person on the other end happened to be Jeff's (omar's 
	roommate) mother.  She kept saying "Is Jeff there?" "Is Jeff there?"
	"Can I talk to Jeff?"  "Where is Jeff??"  "Why won't you answer me?"
	"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH JEFF!!??"  She was ready to call the police
	because she thought Omar was a psychotic madman that had killed her
	son.  Eventually, his mom hung up.  Omar kept on talking.  True story.
	Jeff's mom called later and found that it was just Omar.  

		In fact, Omar is sitting across from me at this moment and his
	hearing aids are beeping a lot today.  He looks like has a nosebleed
	too.

             					-Henrydm@rosevc.rose-hulman.edu


	Jeff's mom called 



	Omar kept on talking...
From: jeffrey@cygnus.com (Jeffrey Osier)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Renaming Hallowed Institutions
Date: 16 Oct 92 04:55:26 GMT
	<BvonoE.3EI@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>
	<OLDMAN.92Oct6202813@titan.ucc.umass.edu>
Organization: /s1/users/jeffrey/.organization
In-reply-to: oldman@titan.ucc.umass.edu's message of Wed, 7 Oct 1992 01:28:13 GMT


How about the ole fav'rite...

Uncle Charlie's Summer Camp


Jeffrey Osier, grateful graduate of the University o' Calif. Santa Cruz
--
   _    			    __
  / \   			   /  \
 /   |  			  /    \      o
 |   |  			  |    |                 
 \   / /\  /  /  /\   /\ \  / 	  \    /  /\  |   /\  /\
  \_/ (/__/__/__/ /__(/___\/       \__/  /__)_/__(/__/ /___'
   /     /\ /\           /
  /     / // /          /		Cygnus Support
_/      \/ \/        __/		814 University Ave
					Palo Alto, CA  94301
Ah, for just one time I would take	415 322 3811, 415 322 3270 (fax)
the Northwest Passage, to find the	jeffrey@cygnus.com
hand of Franklin reaching for the Beaufort Sea....
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: oldman@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Tig Stone)
Subject: Re: Computer Lab Operator Geeks
Organization: University of Massachusetts at Amherst
	<37240@uflorida.cis.ufl.edu> <1992Oct7.140856.6614@samba.oit.unc.edu>
	<Oct.7.13.57.08.1992.24459@remus.rutgers.edu>
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 21:31:14 GMT


In article <Oct.7.13.57.08.1992.24459@remus.rutgers.edu> zelek@remus.rutgers.edu (Grey Wolf) writes:

> moore@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (Hall Moore) writes:


>>luser:  Can you help me?
>>lab a.: What do you want to do?
>>luser:  I don't know...

>>I rest my case.

>    This is news?  I get at least three or four people per shift coming up to
> me asking me if I can help them, and then when I try to get SOME SORT of
> specifics from them, they're turn into a gibbering pile of stupidity.  *sigh*
> Not the thing you need to have happen to you three users in a row on a bad
> day....

> Can you help me, I seem to have forgotten my name,
> Chris [zelek@aramis.rutgers.edu]

	Yeah, but at least you're on a shift (i.e. it's your job).  I
get asked these questions, and answer them for free (out of the
kindness of my heart).  Unfortunately, when this happens, the dam
bursts, and I'm helping everyone.
	Sometimes, they ask ME, even when there IS someone on duty...	

Tig "I don't work here, you know" Stone
(oldman@titan.ucc.umass.edu)
From: sjsmith@cs.umd.edu (Stephen Joseph Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Hmmm.
Date: 8 Oct 92 13:48:19 GMT
Organization: Dept. of Computer Science, University of Maryland at College Park

mancuso@pilot.njin.net (Tina Mancuso) writes:
>One popular thing to
>do is to replace the person's LOGIN.COM (this is on a VAX, of course)
>with a bogus login file that won't let them do *anything*, and says
>things like "No files found" when they type DIR, and "No help
>available" then they type HELP.  It also won't let them log out.

Mmm.  Used to be you could finagle around this by something like
dir == dir
or so I thought.  Checking on the Vax I used to play around with, this
is no longer true.  Of course you can always log in again and PKILL
yourself, if worst comes to worst.

>A meaner tactic is to place a line that says "logout" in the
>beginning of their login.com...but that one's not used that much, nor
>is putting "del *.*;*" in.

However, if you know or suspect someone has done this, you just do (let's
say your username is, uh, SMITH):

Username: SMITH/NOCOM
Password: ******

Welcome to a generic Vax system, unless you are breaking into it, in which
case you are not welcome

$ ! This skips execution of LOGIN.COM on entry.


- Stephen
Former VMS user
From: lhp@daimi.aau.dk (Lasse Hiller|e Petersen)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Computer users
Date: 16 Oct 92 01:29:18 GMT
Organization: DAIMI: Computer Science Department, Aarhus University, Denmark

megazone@joseph.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23) writes:

>I saved this of the nets a while ago... 

>Apparently I cut off the header, which included the orignal author...

>To the deleted author, I appologize, I wish I had a record of who wrote this.

I saw the "nine types of users" while gophering around recently.
(Its on the University of Minnesota gopher, gopher.tc.umn.edu, port 70)

You'd better save all headers in the future.

Here are the headers:
>This section is from the document '/fun/Humor/Types of Users'.
>
>From rec.humor.funny Mon Mar 16 10:38:56 1992
>From: samjones@leo.unm.edu (Sam Jones)
>Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
>Subject: Nine Types of Users
>Keywords: original, original, funny, computer
>Date: 14 Mar 92 00:30:05 GMT
>
>	This is my own, though the style is a blatant copy of Matt Groening.

--
Lasse Hiller|e Petersen -lhp@daimi.aau.dk / "I AM THE CRAWLY CATERPILLAR, WHO
lassehp@imv.aau.dk- Info.&Media Science  / IS THE COCOON, WHO IS THE BUTTERFLY,
Aarhus University, DENMARK              / ALL AT ONCE. RIGHT NOW." -Vaughn Bode
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: rsrodger@wam.umd.edu (Robert Stephen Rodgers)
Subject: Re: Renaming Hallowed Institutions
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 20:26:14 GMT

In article <10OCT199214574636@zeus.tamu.edu> enw2049@zeus.tamu.edu (WALKE, ERIK N) writes:
>In article <1992Sep30.153549.11396@news.unomaha.edu>, sdavis@cwis.unomaha.edu (Scott Davis) writes...
>       No Intelligence."  Being the third-largest (ie, smallest) state
>       university, UNI sometimes suffers an institutional inferiority 
>       complex . . .

	Here in the Maryland/DC/Va area we have a lot of schools like this.  For instance, Montgomery is "Harvard on the Pike" and UMBC is "Unfortunately Many Boring Children."  Better ones, IMHO, are UDC (University of the Districe of Columbia) which has the apt nickname, "University of Dumb Children"--and a competing name of "Unbelievably Desparate Choice".  

--------------------------rsrodger@wam.umd.edu----------------I-want-.QWK!!--
Please god, just let me graduate.. let me graduate... unnnghhnn.. ... 
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz... i'll do it in the morning.. the morning... ZZzzzz...
-------->Titania:  Pray thee gentle mortal, sing again.<---------------------


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: dtasman@NMSU.edu (Dan Tasman)
Subject: Re: permanent temporary buildings.
Organization: New Mexico State University
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 00:56:33 GMT

Iv201lrxa@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (BILL S. PRESTON, ESQ.) writes:

: on our south campus at ub, there are maybe half a dozen aluminum/cinderblock
: buildings that were built 20 or so years ago as temporary 'annexes' to the
: buildings they were built next to. hayes hall has three or four such annexes.
: anyway, these buildings were built around 1970 as temporary structures, and
: are still called temporary today. go figure. hell, they survived the blizzard
: of 77......that's about as permanent as you can get :)

Buff State still has an inflatable "building" that was first put up about 15  
years ago. The Bubble, it's official name on campus maps, is used as an indoor  
athletic building.  It was intended to be "deflated" when the permanent  
arena/fieldhouse was completed, but it's still up there.  Amazingly, it also  
survived the Blizzard of '77 (TM).

UB used to have a bubble on the North Campus but it was removed when Alumni  
Arena was finished.

obFolklore: There were SIX Elicott Complex-like structures originally planned  
for UB-North.  Buff State was supposed to have twenty "Tower Dorms" instead of  
the four that are currently there.  Any other overblown college plans from the  
past?

--
   Dan Tasman                                       dtasman@dante.nmsu.edu
                                                     molson@rever.nmsu.edu
   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
   "I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree
    Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
                                                                Ogden Nash
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: etlanar@slartibartfast.ericsson.se (Alan Arthur)
Subject: Re: Iowa State University Towers
Organization: Ericsson Cellular Division
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 08:32:37 GMT

>
>>I heard that they sway so much in strong winds that the water sloshes
>>out of the toilets.  I remember trying to organize a field trip to the
>>Towers during one perticuarly nasty storm to verify this rumor.  I
>>couldn't, however, get anyone to walk the 12? blocks with me in a
>>driving rain storm.
>
>I don't blame them.  :-)  I've heard the rumor about the water in the toilets,
>but I don't think they sway quite *that* much.
>
>-- 

Erm my in my first floor flat, the water sloshes about in the toilet when its
a strong wind, but only because the wind is blowing up the overflow pipe....



--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alan Arthur                                                        DoD #1314
EMail : etlanar@deep-thought.ericsson.se                  MEMO : ETL.ETLANAR
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: rhanlon@beta.tricity.wsu.edu (Richard Hanlon)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: frosh and computers
Keywords: heh
Date: 7 Oct 92 13:56:42 GMT
Organization: Washington State University Tri-Cities, Richland

I remember when I was a computer lab assist at SWOSU.  A female frosh
came in and was having a hard time with the Data General.  She was in
the Pascal class and was trying to do a simple compile, but couldn't
figure how to do it.  So, she asked me for help, and then, when I told
her politely how to do so, she wouldn't believe that I was telling her
the truth.  She kept looking at me as if I would lie to her.  And it
wasn't just a questionable acceptance, she would not compile her program
the way I described.  I finally I had to just say, fine, do it your own
way and leave.  It was really an unusual experience.

Richard Hanlon
tired, broke, over worked grad student
rhanlon@beta.tricity.wsu.edu
From: jdahl@rchland.vnet.ibm.com (Jared Dahl)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Computer Lab Operator Geeks
Date: 9 Oct 92 16:45:13 GMT
Organization: IBM Rochester
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM

In article <OLDMAN.92Oct8163114@titan.ucc.umass.edu>, oldman@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Tig Stone) writes:

|> 	Yeah, but at least you're on a shift (i.e. it's your job).  I
|> get asked these questions, and answer them for free (out of the
|> kindness of my heart).  Unfortunately, when this happens, the dam
|> bursts, and I'm helping everyone.
|> 	Sometimes, they ask ME, even when there IS someone on duty...	

But of course, it always helps if the person who needs help 
it an attractive young woman!!

Jared "OOOOOHHHHHH, YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU need help" Dahl
-- 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
| Jared Dahl             | "My heart is human, my blood is boiling, | 
| Systems Programmer     |  my brain IBM"                           |
| IBM - Rochester, MN    |              -- STYX,  "Mr. Roboto"      |
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Opinions expressed are mine, not IBM's.
From: c3zx@vax5.cit.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: How to identify sophomores
Date: 9 Oct 92 18:35:10 EDT
Distribution: world
Organization: Cornell University

	I think we have seen umpteen ways to identify freshman and seniors.
However, how could I tell if someone was a sophomore or a junior? Here are
some ways to identify sophomores, and I hope someone else will come up with
a list of techniques to identify juniors.

1. Are suddenly the campus experts on everything they knew nothing about a
   year ago, i.e., which classes to take, where to live, where to eat, where
   to have fun, etc.

2. Enjoy dispensing advice on topics listed in #1.

3. Expect to be respected by the freshman, and are puzzled when that doesn't
   happen.

4. Expect a modicum of respect from their elders, and are bewildered to find
   that they don't receive it.

5. May experience a sudden drop in academic performance (early burn out).

6. Aren't as eager to go/call home.

7. Haven't learned the etymology of the word sophomore.
From: mancuso@pilot.njin.net (Tina Mancuso)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Class Rings
Date: 9 Oct 92 01:08:48 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

In article <92282.125901ICSCH@ASUACAD.BITNET>, ICSCH@ASUACAD.BITNET writes:
> Any class ring folklore?

I can't think of any *college* folklore attached to rings (at least
not here at Drew)...but I remember that in high school you were
supposed to get a number of people (as many as the last 2 digits of
your graduation year) to turn your ring.  There were special rituals
and guidelines on some of the turnings, i.e., first (or was it last?)
person had to kiss you; your best friend had to be last (or was it
first?); etc.

Do any colleges have customs like this?  I know that in high
school, rings were a big production -- everyone ordered and received
them at the same time, etc. -- but when I got my college ring, I
simply ordered it from the Herff-Jones rep who vists the University
Center a couple times a year, received it in the mail, and that was
that.  No big deal.

--Tina
--
	  Tina Mancuso, Student Manager, Academic Computer Center
		      Drew University, Madison, NJ
     tmancuso@drunivac.drew.edu		mancuso@pilot.njin.net
"What you think of yourself is more important than what others think of you."
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: jac1@ra.msstate.edu (Jennifer Cox)
Subject: Re: Grand Designs (was Re: permanent temporary buildings.)
Organization: Mississippi State University
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 04:53:10 GMT

wells@athena.cs.uga.edu (Scott Wells) writes:


>Yes, as an avid fan of the University of Georgia's history, we have a
>few of our own. As U.Ga. afflict-cianados well know, the campus is
>divided into the aesthically-enrapturing historic North Campus
>(liberal arts, law, business :^P, fine arts) and the soul-wretching
>South Campus (hard science, math, CS, ag, vet...you get the point)
>which is full of ugly-o-rama sixties' metal buildings. The original
>plans would have extended them more than three times there current
>scope. Thank God for budget cuts.

I must agree.  Even the prettiest south campus building makes
Miss State's ugliest look like damn appealing architecture.

>In the sixties, there were also plans for a campus-wide monorail
>system, which also never saw the light of day. (We have the best
>campus bus system in the country, though.)

Yes UGa does have the best bus system around.  

I was heading to work from one of the dining halls this summer and a 
group of high school summer campers got on to ride across the parking
lot and before they got off the bus they rolled 3 oranges down the
isle.  It was hilarious because when we went up the next hill they
all rolled back down.
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 18:09:52 EDT
From: <DAM137@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Computer Lab Operator Geeks
Distribution: world
 <1992Oct2.145554.17379@cybernet.cse.fau.edu> <37240@uflorida.cis.ufl.edu>
 <1992Oct7.140856.6614@samba.oit.unc.edu>
 <1992Oct9.132415.15312@vax5.cit.cornell.edu>

In article <1992Oct9.132415.15312@vax5.cit.cornell.edu>,
h2m@vax5.cit.cornell.edu (JA) says:
>me:do you know anything about Comet (Cornell's standard terminal emulator and
>communications package.... most everybody uses it)?
>op: comet? what's that...
>me: never mind....

At Penn State it goes like this:
User:  Like, I just finished my minitab project and now I need to print it.
       How can I do that?
Op:    Well, I really have never used minitab before.  Did your TA give you
       instructions on how to use minitab.
User:  Well, yes, but I sorta lost them and I was wondering if you could take
       a look and tell me how to print.
Op:    But I never used minitab.  I can find a manual for you to use if you
       want.
User:  Oh....nevermind.

5 minutes later......

User:  I still can't get minitab to print out.  Can you just show me how to
       print?
Op:    If I knew how to I would gladly show you, but I don't.  Would you like
       a manual to look it up?
User:  Why can't you just show me how to print?
Op:    'Cause I never used minitab.  If you want a manual, I can get that for
       you and you can look up how to print, but otherwise I can't do anything.
User:  Well, I can't understand why you are being so (*censored*)...I just
       need to know how to print.

Usually at this point, I refer the person to the policy about calling the
police to deal with abusive users.

I think anyone who has ever worked as a computer operator for a period of time
has had this experience.  The problem is that there are too many different
software packages being used.  If I had to know every software package that
was used by Penn State, I would never have time for my own studies and
my own life.  I find that in most cases, it is the user's responsibility
to get a clue as to how to use the software they need and not the ops.

Dave...

PS:  I don't know how it is at other places, but at Pepsi State, when we are
trained as lab attendants, we are given a list of 7 responsibilities and
helping out the users is stressed as being the least important of all the
jobs.