From: ender@uunet.uu.net (Pete Walsh)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: A blast from the past... sorta...
Date: 11 Sep 1992 01:26:19 -0400
Organization: UUNET Technologies Inc, Falls Church, VA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: rodan.uu.net




		In space no one can hear you... sing.


   Even Ender, captain and sole occupant of the dread space-pirate frigate
"Blind Luck", had grown tired of the singing by now, but of course it
was all his fault.  He'd programmed Wasaefafai (short for "What a sorry
excuse for a freakin' Artificial Intelligence") to apply the lyrics of
the Marine Hymn to any musical piece it could find, in preperation for
attending SpaceChat 2068.  Wasae went at it with gusto, and when Ender
brought up the options menu to turn the sound of he was presented with the
following:


			HIT ANY KEY TO CONTINUE...

		HIT ANY OTHER KEY TO TURN OFF THE SPEAKER...

   So he was doomed to endless hours of the Marine Hymn done to various tunes,
old and new.  His only consolation was that he'd soon get a chance to unleash
them upon the Chatters.

   Halfway through the new lyrics to "I Don't Love Ya But I Nebula" the singing
stopped.  Ender had a few blissful seconds of silence when suddenly Wasae
began speaking, "But sir...  Lock phasers on target...  There's no honour
in that..." and so on...

   "Waste... er, Wasae, what the HELL are you talking about?  And why the
    funny accent?"

   "Well, Captain Ender, you told me to sound like a Klingon if ever there
    were a ship approaching...  It's the best Worf I can do..."

   "Sound the KLAXON you idiot, not KLINGON!  Geez, I really gotta get
    Dohram to look into those voice recognition modules of yours.  Wait
    a sec...  Did you say, er imply, that there's a ship approaching?"

   "Yes...  Shall I return to my singing now?  From the Halls of Monte..."

   "Shut up and scan that ship!  What's the distance?  Scan for life forms!
    Any weapons?"

   "Distance, 3 meters..."

   "THREE METERS?  We need to get you a new dictionary, you're way off on
    the meaning of approaching... continue."

   "Singing?  to the shores of Tripo..."

   "NO!  With the REPORT!  Your intelligence might be artificial, but your
    stupidity sure comes natural...  continue.  WITH THE REPORT!"

   "Life forms:  One humanoid, probably of Terran origin, male.  One rodent,
    unknown origin, also male.  More weapons that I can currently count."

   "That's not saying much...  this ship has more weapons than you can
    currently count..."

   "Is it MY fault my designers only gave me three fingers on each hand?"

   "No, I suppose not... Wait...  One human guy and a rodent?  Does the
    ship's signature match anything in your database?"

   A silhouette of the unknown vessel appeared on the display and behind it
   a red and blue ball with odd shaped holes cut in it.  Wasae manipulated
   the ball and silhouette until he found a perfect fit.

   "Looks like it's the 'Spaced Out', sir."

   "ACK!  That means we're being invaded by...


SppppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccceeeeeeeeeCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDEEEEEETS!!"




Oh Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade...  ball's in yer court...  or anyone else who wants to
chime in... =)



=============================================-=================================
Ender, Secretary to the President of the RFA | InterNet: ender@triryche.uu.net
	   CoHost of the ARC/RFA BeaChat '92 | UUCP:  {anysite}!triryche!ender
  & Dino/Grace's Big Bro and Official Poster |  The following is umop apisdn.
=============================================-=================================
   "Microsoft Service.  Can you hold for an hour?" - Tom Servo, MST3K
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Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat