From: farthing@leland.Stanford.EDU (ljf)
Subject: Re: Bias in Academia?
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 06:37:05 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.235821.19114@ils.nwu.edu> lynch@ils.nwu.edu (Richard Lynch) writes:
>In article <1992Oct2.105047.12112@leland.Stanford.EDU> farthing@leland.Stanford.EDU (ljf) writes:
>   [deletions]
>>Much childcare is catch-as-catch-can, relatives, neighbors, children
>>being kept in someone's house.  The good childcare centers are usually
>>packed and there are waiting lists.  Librarians complain of children
>
>Your idea of catch-as-catch-can is my idea of a better plan.  I *trust* my
>relatives and neighbors more, or at least know enough about them to know which
>to trust with children.

It may sound good to you, but how about the people who end up caring
for the child?  My older sister had a child by the time she was 18.
She went back to school and worked and her husband was working.  My
parents, my younger sister, and I ended up doing a lot of childcare.
Now that sounds good since we loved (love) my niece and took good care
of her.  There were problems, though.  My parents were going through a
particularly stressful time in their marriage and babysitting an
infant five days out of the week added much stress.  In fact, that
time is the closest that my parents have come to divorce.  I spent
time babysitting when I wanted to do other things--sports, socialize,
more homework, work, etc.  The same thing happened to my younger
sister, who still resents my niece for the time she took from my
mother when my sister was just entering adolescence.

I can't tell you the number of times that we had huge family blowouts
when we were waiting for my brother-in-law to show up to take my niece
home.  It would be midnight, one am, and my dad would be at work, my
mother about to drop and knowing that she had to get up at 5 am to go
to work, and me wondering if I would be awake enough to pass an exam
that day.

It left enough marks on my sister and me that neither of us has ever
wanted children.  My mother wants grandchildren (there's only my
niece), but my dad has said that he would shoot himself if he ever had
to babysit a grandchild as often as he did my niece.  (To which the
rest of us said, "But you hardly ever did babysit her!!")

I suppose we all (except my mother) sound like selfish jerks, but it
definitely was a rough time.  Rough for my sister and her husband, of
course, but rough, too, for the extended family.

>>coming from school to the public libraries because there's nowhere
>>else for them to go, thus the libraries act as babysitters.  And we've
>>all heard of the latch-key kids.
>
>Actually, a library is a pretty decent place for kids to be.  I wouldn't mind
>paying more taxes for daycare in a library.  Wanna bet the government wouldn't
>go for it?

I agree that libraries are good places for kids, but librarians are
not babysitters and shouldn't be expected to be.

>>It's not about giving adults more free time, it's about helping a
>>single parent hold down a job.  It's about providing constructive
>>activities for a child who otherwise has to go home alone to watch TV.
>
>Take that TV part out please.  The kids *can* do a lot of other good things at
>home alone.  A lot of them can be constructive, too, come to think of it.

Of course they can do other things.  But how many of them will end up
watching tv, if for nothing else, for the sense of not being alone
that tv can give?

>I agree it's our problem.  I'm not sure tax dollars for daycare is the answer.

I don't see any alternative.  I grew up in a very small town in the
Southeast (US).  We had the same neighbors for years.  Our situation
seems like an ideal family situation.  But when my niece was born, my
sister and brother-in-law didn't know their neighbors.  He wasn't on
good terms with his family.  My sister's friends would babysit a bit,
but not frequently.  They were on their own, except for my family.