HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: avdh@dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Heide)
Subject: Re: A rat is a pig-headed moron is a ...
Reply-To: avdh@dazixco.ingr.com
Organization: Integraph - Boulder
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 21:24:41 GMT

In article 16374@odin.corp.sgi.com, zursch@whizkid.wpd.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide) writes:
>I am a committed Fruitarian; I only eat things that can be taken 
>without killing the plant. You senseless and vicious slaughterers of 
>carrots, onions, and rutabagas have the juice of innocent plants 
>on your hands!!

WHAT!?!?  That apple, pear, or grape which you cruelly rip from the loving
grasp of its mother branch is the offspring of that plant, and itself has the
potential, and therefore the right to grow into a productive self-actuallized
adult plant.

You sir, are a foul murderer of plant foetus's.  A plant abortionist as it
were.  You should be ashamed!

Alain "learning to subsist on minerals" van der Heide

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: avdh@dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Heide)
Subject: I Don't Care
Reply-To: avdh@dazixco.ingr.com
Organization: Integraph - Boulder
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 16:31:59 GMT

Peeve1:  Is it just me, or has this Amy Fisher business gone on far too long?
(A brief explanation for those of you who are lucky enough not to be exposed
to this US media circus:  Amy Fisher is this Lolita who attempted to off the
wife of her alleged 30-something lover.  She claims "He told me to do it."  He
sez "I never laid a hand on her.")  It's your basic sordid, stupid, violent,
tacky affair, which, in a sane world, would have been worth two days coverage
in the New York Post (or equivalent), plus occasional spreads in the Enquirer
(or equiv.).  The three count 'em three TV movies were bad enough, but again
this morning the Today show dedicated almost 15 minutes to an interview with
Ms. Fishers sleazebag lawyer (sorry for the redundancy).  Thank goodness for
mute buttons.

Peeve2:  What torqued me was that the report this AM began with one of the
talkingheads saying "This story has an endless fascination for the American
People."  Wrong, you hypocephalic cockroach.  It has an endless fascination
for the American Media.  I don't know one person, with the possible exception
of my mother-in-law, who gives half a rats ass (arse for brit-speakers) about
this story.  I've seen this happen before and it peeves me every time.  Some
low level news drone gets a wild hair about some marginally newsworthy story,
and the next thing you know, every news hound from Wabash to Walla Walla is
slobering all over it like it was some particularly fragrent chunk of road
kill. Because one hack finds some pathetic domestic dispute interesting, I get
to spend months avoiding the constant replays of said dispute on every channel
and in every newspaper.

Peeve3:  I don't particularly care where Bill Clinton's homely spawn goes to
junior high.  I certainly don't think anybody anywhere has a right to second
guess him on it.  Listen media slime:  It was the Clinton's decision, they
made it, we're tired of it, now drop it.

---
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Alain van der Heide                      |                                  |
| Intergraph Electronics Products          | "Lawyers are Politicians         |
| "The opinions expressed above are mine-  |  in the larval stage."           |
| mineminemine, and you can't have them."  |                                  |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Larry's Confusion... (Was: women without rhythm)
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 15:45:59 GMT

<In article <LARRY.93Jan4085708@peak.psl.nmsu.edu> larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:

[MackBandy's situation, etc. de-leted]

<Mack> !Peeve: Half of my wife has natural rhythm.

<Good thing the old wiffy don't read the news, eh, bandy?

	Yer confused, Larry, it's the NEW wiffy that Bandy
	don't let read the news.....
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Re: My First Car Peeve
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 08:38:40 GMT

okes@essex.ac.uk (Simon Oke) writes:
] In article <1993Jan9.223727.10234@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
] |
] | ps: Technical Question: how can I get rid of the
] | remaing tread in an effective manner?
] |
] A few good bouts of wheel-spinning should do the trick.


forgive me, but is that like the old <insert vendor here> FE joke
about how does an FE know that he/she/it is out of Petrol?

a: they have rotated all four tires and it
	still will not go....


ciao
drieux

ps: or do they save the FE jokes for fourth
year students? In the Class:

"HardWare: ToolOfTheDevil[tm] or SatanicKultRitualIsm"



-- 
MajorModernDayProblems: "Olivia Newton-John is the grand-daughter 
of Nobel Prize-winning physicist Sir Edmund Newton-John." --Frank

Clear Proof Of Genetic Superiority, eh No????
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: I Don't Care
Date: 8 Jan 93 18:24:18 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1993Jan7.131506.13927@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:
>|> 
>|> 	She played both.  Trust me.  Or look it up.
>
>No, "Both" was a different character in Star Wars. Looked like a cross between
>a penguin and an iguana. Or was that Madonna in "Dick Tracy"?


No, "Both" was played by Ricardo Montalban.

"Both! Both! De plane!"

ER

--
"Peevers bite, though painful, is not deadly. Males often battle one
another. There are more grotesque appearing than dangerous."
		--Festive NM tarantula postcard edited by Dan Hillman
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The Los Altos Rod & Gun Club
Date: 11 Jan 1993 15:34:57 GMT
Organization: FizzBall Racing
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Curtis Yarvin) writes:
>Refreshments were provided by that gracious host, JZ, and his
>lovely wife Linda, who have impeccable taste in housing and
>videotape.

I have no idea how hard Jill is going to slug you when she next sees
you, but I want to be there to witness it.

Jeffie and I have not done any partner swapping lately, so get this
straight, you festering fragment of feral fool flesh: Jill is Jeffie's 
little woman.  Linda is my live-in fuckbuddy.

drew
banta@abigdon.sun.com
--
"I remember a few years ago watching a docu-drama about Nazi atrocities;
at one point, a stormtrooper grabbed a cowering old man, and slapped the
yellow Star of David onto his coat.  The guy I was watching the show with
remarked, 'Guess he's the sherriff now.'"               -- Brian Scearce
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Swearing
Followup-To: alt.wesley-dodd.hang.hang.hang
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 93 17:37:00 GMT

In article <xd5fs*sR0@prolix.apana.org.au> dac@prolix.apana.org.au
(Andrew Clayton) writes:
>> >Now here's a frightening thought - I wake up one morning to some strange
>> >woman who keeps shaking me and saying "dac!  wake up or you'll be late!"
>> >
>> >YIKES!  Just the thought of it gives me the willies!
>> 
>> Well, there's the little bit of absurdity that will clue you in to the fact
>> that you're having a nightmare.
>> 
>> After all, we all know Dac doesn't HAVE a willy!
>
>I see that one half of the Baldwin Posters has decided to take my
>little jibe about being a reprobate, and run with it. 
>
>I'm certain that your vapid comment was jolly amusing, for the
>phytoplankton-level readers out there reading the net.
>Otherwise, as predictable as buttered toast landing on the carpet
>with the messy side to the floor. And just as welcome.
>
>Bill was stating that such a thought gives _him_ the willies.  My
>own sexual equipment wasn't mentioned.

Sure it was.  The description was just too small for you to notice it...

>Didn't pindick flames go out with 2400bps network access?

I didn't know that 2400 bps networks had hit Oz yet.  Interesting...

>Peeve/!Peeve: We're getting a new cat from the RSPCA. 

Cool!  I'll bring a 12 gauge and do that one up right!  Anyone got a camera
I can borrow?

   don
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: People Who Think I Have Nothing To Do
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 14:33:41 GMT

In <1iskgqINN2be@mirror.digex.com> sheehey@access.digex.com (Jenni Sheehey) 
writes:

>Peeve:  There *is* no tactful way to tell someone "I work with you 8 
>hours a day, can't I have at least a small break in the middle to be 
>alone?

PeeveTangent:  trying to tell my SO, tactfully, that I don't appreciate being 
groped while I'm washing dishes.  I don't like doing dishes, and I want to get
it over with as soon as possible.

!Peeve:  not only did she get the message, but she helped with the dishes!  
Nasty task over with much sooner, serious mutual groping commenced earlier, 
etc.

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: I Don't Care
Date: Thu, 07 Jan 93 15:34:45 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <1993Jan6.184629.10497@dazixco.ingr.com> avdh@dazixco.ingr.com writes:
>>Peeve1:  Is it just me, or has this Amy Fisher business gone on far too long?
>
>Peeve1a:  I just found out that the little trollop starred in a pornie.  The
>peeve is that we are unlikely to see any of the good parts on broadcast
>teevee.

Right, what was the title? I want it for a videopeev.fest, which
will include the most peeving movies I can find.

Number one on the list of all time peevful flicks?

"It's a wondeful life"...The bloody thing was on more or less
continuous broadcast from Oct. to New Years Day.

Suggestions for more peevful flicks to add to the show are hereby
solicited.

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf)
Subject: Did we read the same book?
Organization: /home/ludviga/cindy/.organization
Date: 7 Jan 93 22:40:27

The feeling you get when you see a movie or play, based on a book
you've read and loved, and not only do you find the movie/play
disappointing, but you don't even understand how they got this mess
out of the book.

The first time this happened to me was _2010_.  I do not understand
where that crap in the movie came from.  I understand that the plot
was a bit involved for a movie, so they cut out the Chinese space
station cum spaceship and the fun stuff on Europa.  I do not
understand why the Russians were transformed into cold, mindless
automata, nor why a near-war was created back on earth.

Some of the dialogue was also created for the movie, and it is as
corny as hell.  The final message HAL transmits to Earth does not
include the end lines "USE THEM TOGETHER - USE THEM IN PEACE" in the
book; i found them ridiculous.  Why would this higher power that
humans can't even understand be concerned about the petty squabbling
going on?

The second time was a play i went to see this summer, based on
_Kristin Lavransdatter_, a book that i have read many times and am
still not tired of.  Some local people put on a play "based" on the
book as part of our St. Olav's Days (big cultural shindig held in this
city every summer).  I went and couldn't figure out what point they
were trying to make, if any.  Most of the incidents were liften from
the book, but there seemed to be no pattern to the incidents chosen.
Also, Kristin herself never spoke.  There was probably a reason for
this, but damned if i can figure it out.  The costuming and
accompanying music was a surrealist's nightmare.  In short.... i hated
it.

Recently there was something in the newspaper that made me remember
this... A woman was writing a letter to the editor explaining why she
thought Norway must stay out of the E.C.  (Writing a letter to the
editor is a Norwegian's favorite way to fight the injustices of the
world.)  She quoted Ibsen as saying "He is strongest who stands
alone."  As far as i remember, this quote is from _Peer Gynt_.  _Peer
Gynt_ is more than mildly satirical about Norwegians who take exactly
that attitude.  Lady, old Henrik is looking down and laughing at you.
(Just as i'm sure he's amused that there's a parking garage named
after him in Oslo... but i digress.)

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondheim, Norway
From: eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com (J. Erik Radmall)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Global Warming Is Just Around The Corner (
Date: 8 Jan 93 15:44:08 GMT
Reply-To: eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com
Organization: Xerox Corporation

In article 93Jan7141043@gauss.nmsu.edu, ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
[stuff deleted]
> 
> 	My, that doesn't fit with what the eco-weenies were 
> 	screaming less than a year ago; where's that warming
> 	trend?
> 
> ObPeeve: people with no background in analytical science or physics
> 	 claiming that they "know" what the climate will be in
> 	 future.
> 
> 	Stay tuned, folks, there's already talk that the increased
> 	CO2 in the air (if it's really increased..) may cause
> 	more clouds to form, reflecting more heat into space
> 	and thus causing an Ice Age....if so, we're back to the
> 	Chicken Littleism of the late 1970's, "Ice Age Imminent".

This works especially well for "global warming" and the OhMiGod "melting
ice caps" that'll drown NYC. The excess clouds will form from the
increased temperature, lower the ocean level, and, like you said,
reflect more solar radiation, cooling the earth, decreasing the cloud
cover, re-warming the earth, and -- voila! Homeostatis! Get a f****n
clue you eco-fools! This has been going on for, oh, say well over 1
billion years!

> 
> ObPeeve: that people really believe mere humans can influence
> 	 such a huge system as the atmosphere; volcanoes have
> 	 been dumping chemicals (and gases) into it for millions

Mt. Pinatubo (sp?) spewed more "harmful" chemicals into the atmosphere than
humans have since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution.

> 	 of years. To think that us unhairy apes can outdo 
> 	 volcanoes is a form of hubris.
> 
[stuff deleted]
From: potler@umbc3.umbc.edu (Laura Potler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Larry's Confusion... (Was: women without rhythm)
Date: 6 Jan 1993 11:53:50 -0500
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
NNTP-Posting-Host: umbc4.umbc.edu

>[MackBandy's situation, etc. de-leted]
><Mack> !Peeve: Half of my wife has natural rhythm.

so she's come out of the coma? or is this some sort of nervous system twitch?

-l "better knock her out again before she realizes you're married" p

-- 
-lp  *******************************
*     "...even God is uneasy..."   *
*		--Davies & Seeger  *
************************************
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Language Improvement (Was: Orientals . . .)
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 16:40:58 GMT

In article <1993Jan11.185813.28317@lmt.mn.org> ChazL@county.lmt.mn.org (Chaz Larson) writes:

[the arithmetic of whatever deleted]

<ObPeeve: the particular phrase "person[s]/people of color".
<I can appreciate what the coiners of the phrase were after, but it's the most 
<cumbersome phrase I've heard in a long time.


	Ok, why not shorten it to "colored people"?

	Or has that term been used before?
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: women without rhythm
Date: 4 Jan 93 20:39:55 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

Mack Daddy writes:
>Don't you hate it when you're fucking a woman who has no sense of
>rhythm?  Rather than getting plenty of friction when you're humping
>her, she's either having an epileptic fit or she perfectly matches your
>backthrust with her outthrust.
>
>I've concluded that they have the same gene that [white] folks who go
>to concerts have -- you know, the ones who clap on the up-beat rather
>than the down-beat and can't even do that regularly, trashing the
>entire crowd within 4 bars.
>
>!Peeve: Half of my wife has natural rhythm.

Hmm, I believe that there are classes available to help solve this problem.

Notice I didn't say who the classes would help...

    don "two left feet" baldwin
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Don't Mess With Texas
Date: 4 Jan 93 21:51:56 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Ant Refuge




The BootThang decided last June that life was not exciting enough (hah!)
and made a midyear resolution to travel. I tell ya, life gets exciting
when you travel. Kind of like the Chinese curse.

I treated y'all to my tales of locking the keys in my trunk in ABQ
and meeting Dan's black widow spiders.

I spared you the tale of Tahoe altitude migranes.

I had no peeves about San Diego really, but commented on Tiajuana being
like the interzone.

So, let me tell you about Houston drivers...

Some of the absolute worst driving I have ever seen has occurred in
the testosterone fog we call Texas. Texas comes from the word "tejas",
which is supposed to mean friendly. Hah! Friendly? Well, the tailgating
is so bad there that I think Texans believe if you get two cars close
enough together at 70MPH they will mate and the lucky owner of the
female car gets to keep the puppies. 10 feet at 70MPH. Whee! I think
I left my fingernails in dad's dashboard.

Then there was the weather. Now, I saw scary footage of black ice accidents
in the midwest and really feel for those people. But, you get one little
drizzle and the roads in Tejas are coated with swamp slime. (They have
humidity there, what a concept.) I'm sitting in Bubba's car riding shotgun
and we come up on a curve. We come up on a curve. We are on the curve.
We are past the curve. We are airborne. We are in a ditch. Bubba is freakin'
and I am composing this article in my mind and chuckling to myself.

Tejas really is a friendly place. It was a country road and it was 10:30PM.
Every single car that came by stopped and offered help. Every one. We got a
ride back to my dad's. A weird thought hit me. Is dad going to spank us?
Make us sit in a corner? Old patterns die hard. Dad wound up being worried
and helpful. I got AAA to pull the car out of a ditch and threatened to
arrange a blind date for Bubba with the semi-hostile female state trooper
who came to check things out.

Peeves: Humorless state troopers. A sore neck. DFW Airport is not Dallas-
Fort Worth Airport, its Died From Waiting Airport. Too much rain and grey
skies.

!Peeves: Lone Star Beer in a bistro on the Riverwalk(San Antonio).
Limestone caves.  Dinosaur tracks. Galveston. Free black eyed peas on
New Year's Day (for good luck). New cowboy boots. Seeing a longhorn for
the first time (moo).  The Magritte exhibit in Houston.

-- 
E. Richards  fernwood!autodesk!booter or booter@Autodesk.COM
"God must hate the common people, because he made them so common."
			--Philip Wylie
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: I Don't Care
Date: 7 Jan 93 15:43:53 GMT
Organization: FizzBall Racing
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide) writes:
>I put my sister's mood ring in the freezer in the depths of the 70s to turn
>it black. It did, and it never turned back to any other color. I killed it.

And you were too stupid to realize the foreshadowing of all
your subsequent relationships.

>Just goes to show...

that so little is surprising in this life.

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
 by those who have not got it."
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: I Don't Care
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 23:16:46 GMT

In article <1993Jan6.163159.9945@dazixco.ingr.com> avdh@dazixco.ingr.com writes:

> [ ... ]
>Peeve3:  I don't particularly care where Bill Clinton's homely spawn goes to
>junior high.  I certainly don't think anybody anywhere has a right to second
>guess him on it.  Listen media slime:  It was the Clinton's decision, they
>made it, we're tired of it, now drop it.

In this interregnum there isn't much to write about.  Yesterday I saw a
quarter of a page devoted to how Fleetwood Mac would be disinterred,
hosed down, and exhibited for one of the inaugural "balls", singing the
song the Clintons liked so much during the recent campaign.  FM's handlers
promised this would be a one-shot reunion, but also let fly the news that
"Don't Stop ..." would be re-released in a Special Edition to coincide
with the ascension to White Housery of Hilary and Bill.  Gag me with a
mood ring.

I've heard too many people call Clinton a hypocrite for sending his kid
to a private school.  What would be hypocritical would be to send her
to a public school as a Stoopid Symbolic Gesture to placate the mass of
dysliterate bozos.

Large Peeve: Dizzy is gone.  Now there's no-one to vote for in the next
presidential election.

>| Alain van der Heide                      |                                  |

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "Loud is good." 
rickg@netcom.com |   -- Frank Loesser