From: zzaascd@hpa.ee.man.ac.uk (Colin Dente)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Some fears and doubts about my sexuality
Date: 28 Sep 92 08:21:00 GMT
Organization: Electrical Engineering Dept Manchester University

In article <xdzqbdzp@cck.coventry.ac.uk> idx009@cck.coventry.ac.uk
(the Crisco Kid) writes:
> In article <1992Sep24.002312.3553@spdcc.com> pentangl@spdcc.com (Scott Moir) writes:
The attributions are a bit messed up here, but, looking at the
> >>Perhaps we don't yet have a "bisexual culture"; but it did feel there
> >>as though there might be the germination of such a thing. [...]

I'm not entirely happy with the idea of a "bisexual culture" - if
we form one, then we are (inevitably?) going to get all the shit that
comes with such a thing - like fashion.  I for one find the "all
inclusiveness" of current bispace (such as I have experienced) to be
one of it's most attractive features.  I would hate to see that
endangered by notions of fashion, as seems to be the case in "gay
culture" (using "gay" to mean gay, lesbian and homosexual (Note to
Americans: that was a sarcastic reference, as is this :-))

> >The gay culture (Gad, I hate the implications of that) was only so
> >obvious because it ran counter to mauch in the way of expected gender roles.
> >We do the same, but by being 'in the middle' we are bringing in aspects of
> >both het and gay culture.
>
> I'm not sure it's quite so simple.  I don't think we simply 'middle'
> between the het cultureplex and the gay one - at least, it hasn't felt
> that way for me.

I quite agree - take the issue of polyfidelity as an example: (gross
generalisation alert) both het and gay cultures seem to be organised
(in this specific area) around ideas of either monogamy or (please
don't read any negative connotations into my use of the word)
promiscuity.  The notion of polyfidelity, whilst (IMHO) quite well
accepted in bisexual circles seems quite alien to monosexual culture.

> It's hard to explain just what it felt like at Norwich; perhaps a
> kind of half-wise half-innocent embracing and exultation... Clive?
> Bethan? Colin?  HELP!  what did it feel like?

Well, (never one to ignore a plea for aid), that's what it was like
for me - definite exultation, though, as I keep trying to remind
myself, it might have been a rather less joyous, and more frightening
time for some people.  Half-wise?  I'm not so sure.  Do those of us
who are out enough to attend the conference really know what it's like
for the vast majority of bisexuals, many older, perhaps in marriages
with (non-understanding) straight partners...  As for half-innocent
(depending on your definition of innocent! :-)) yes, and I for one
want to keep it like that.  The day I cease to open my eyes wide at
some new wonder in myself and others like me will be a sad day for me.
Ooh, I've waxed all poetical...

> I for one hope we never develop a bi culture. I would rather have it so
> that people can be themselves without worrying about someone else taking
> offence. Diversity IS our culture.

That'll teach me to read the whole of the article before starting to
reply.  My first paragraph could probably just be replaced with "Yeah
- what Kay said", but I'll let it stand as I think I explained my
feelings a little more fully (or should that be "a little less
concisely?")

> That's why I said "a" not "the" bi culture, Scott.  Exactly, exactly,
> what you said!

I'm not sure that I understand this.  I thought that I agreed with
Kay, and I would say "No, exactly *not* what Scott said" (sorry
Scott).  I think we need to start with *throwing away* both het and
gay (sexual) culture: we have a chance to do it right, which, in a
way, means not doing it at all...

Colin

  Colin Dente                     | JANET: dente@uk.ac.manchester
  Manchester Computing Centre     | ARPA:  dente@manchester.ac.uk
  University of Manchester, UK    | UUCP:  ...!mcsun!ukc!manchester!dente
             	   ... I can't even *think* straight ...