HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andrews)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: CSIRO Division of Mathematics and Statistics, Australia
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 00:13:44 GMT


In a recent article, Juha Taina  taina@cs.helsinki.fi writes...

> I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net.  What
> is the value of them?  Would you also hug and kiss a stranger in real
> life?

alt.romance as you have probably guessed is a fairly 'touchy-feely' group
filled with nice, kind people who like to be nice to each other. Also,
electronic mail/news can tend to be quite intimate in it's nature between
the 'right' people. People express their feelings and thoughts much more
readily in email/news than they do face to face.

I guess, while in a person-to-person situation, you might want to share
a <hug> or <kiss> with someone, you might feel a little shy or something.

Perhaps you could say alt.romance and like groups are a 'perfect world'
where people aren't shy to express themselves and show their true
colours.

I probably wouldn't <hug> or <kiss> in person a lot of the people 
<hug> and <kiss> in alt.romance, but that is more likely because I am shy,
or frightened of how they might interpret it than because I don't want
to.

Note also that there are different kinds of <affectionate actions>

A hug come in many varieties, there is just plain <hug>, <reassuring hug>
<I know what you're going through hug>, <I'm thinking of you hug>,
<good luck in your exams hug>, and just like real life, they all mean
very different things. A hug isn't an outright declaration of undying love,
it depends on it's context, just like real life...

Kisses? Well, similar, but I for one only <kiss> one person in email/news,
and that is my SO. Kisses are a little more intimate than hugs methinks.

There are lots of other <affectionate actions> or just <actions> too..

Try <kiss>, <smooch>, <zerbit> (don't ask!), <sigh>, <laugh>, <confused smile>
<smiles>, <laughs till he cries>, <giggle>, <strange look>, 
<here we go again look>...

Basically, put any expression/action into words..

hope this helps... and keep on <kiss>ing!

g

-- 
  "Two to the power of one hundred thousand to one against.
    That's pretty improbable you know" (Ford Prefect)

"I do not agree with what you say, but I will fight to the death
 for your right to say it" (Voltaire)
################################################################################
Stuart Andrews (stuarta@syd.dms.csiro.au)
Opinions posted here are mine and do not necessarily comply with those of CSIRO
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: guppy@wixer.cactus.org (Jennifer Mery)
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
Summary: What do they expect of me?
Organization: Real/Time Communications
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 07:59:58 GMT

In article <1992Nov16.191144.25469@jetsun.weitek.COM> weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
>
>I personally am guilty of saying 'we should get together' without meaning
>it, but I don't remember ever saying I would call, and not calling. Sometimes
>that meant calling when I would rather not, but to me it sounds like a 
>promise.
>
This is the one that gets to me, I guess. The exact wording that it's
usually given to me is "Let's do something sometime, give me a call." I
say okay, but really I don't think it's fair that the getting together
should be left up to me when it was their idea. Am I right? Is there a
right answer? 

And what's all this about people wanting to keep in touch, and therefore
giving me their phone numbers? When I genuinely want to keep in touch
with someone, I ask for their phone number, not give them mine. Is this
the beginning of some kind of blame game? "How come you never called?"
Reminds me of my grandmother (who has my phone number and never calls
me, either). Well guess what... I never call those people who force
those phone numbers on me. I guess I'm not a very good friend, or maybe
we're just not close friends, I dunno. I wish I could explain all this
better, because I get caught in this situation all the time, and don't
know what's expected of me. Another friend said on the phone "So you're
going to give me a call sometime, aren't you?" What could I say? I lied,
and said I would call, but I'm not interested enough in this person to
really call. 

I'm beginning to think I'm a snob.

jam

-- 
==============================================================================
Jennifer Mery |
Austin, Texas | guppy@wixer.cactus.org
==============================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone)
Subject: Re: Two hearts can meet....................
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 18:57:51 GMT

Angela Johnson <Angela_Johnson@med.umich.edu> writes:



>In article <BxytvC.CxE@news.cso.uiuc.edu> J. Fippen,
>fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu writes:
>>
>>Sex is for the moment, but love is for life.

>I couldn't agree with you more!

Bravo!  Well said!  Alpha-plus to J. Fippen---Ten out of ten!

T.R. Stone  

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: maci9154@mach1.wlu.ca (macivor dawna)
Subject: Re: Description of the Fetal Remains from an Abortion
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 23:18:13 GMT

In article <1992Nov16.234644.9072@ncsu.edu> dsh@eceyv.ncsu.edu (Woody Allen) writes:
>
[article deleted]
>
>   Sue Hertz, _Caught in the Crossfire: A Year on Abortion's Front Line_,
>   Prentice Hall Press, 1991, pg. 104.

For some reason I fail to see why an article such as this has been posted in
alt.romance.  If you're anti-abortion, fine.  Just find a more appropriate
place to post this.  Personally it disgusted me, and I don't appreciate it
at all.

Dawna MacIvor
From: 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Opinions wanted!! (Please?)
Date: 23 Nov 92 02:18:17 GMT
Organization: The Corporation.


	Can two people who are totally different ever have a romantic
relationship?  What I am looking for here are opinions.

	An example-how about terms of rich vs. poor, region vs. region, and so
on?

	Thanx

-- 

 ______________________________________________________________________________
|Kyle S. Davis	 
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 18:39:42 GMT

In article <lgnjnfINNldj@news.bbn.com> dhardin@spcink.bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
>In article <MARTINC.92Nov18222436@hatteras.cs.unc.edu> martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>>
>>I would like to know more about these zerbit's though.
>
>A zerbit is when one takes a baby, pulls its undershirt up to bare its
>chubby little stomach, puts one lips onto bare stomach, and says "BLLLBPTH!"
>The baby then squeals with joy, and rips a handful or two of hair out to
>show its appreciation.
>
>I suppose you could do it to older people to, but they probably won't squeal
>and as far as I'm concerned that's the whole point.

I've found that they DO squeal....
-- 
  Dave Johnson

"You're not too smart, are you?  I like that in a man."
    --Kathleen Turner in Body Heat
From: bradl@neptune.informix.com (Brad Levy)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Getting Married: Grounds for Insanity Plea?
Date: 17 Nov 92 02:35:13 GMT
Organization: Informix Software, Inc.

Original poster:
>>it's the way he leaves rings on the coffee table with his beer cans. 

Cheryl:
>
>So, give him a coaster.  :)
>
>
>IMHO, people expect too much.  A good marriage is a truckload of work and
>effort and never a day off.  But if you're in love, you'll do it gladly.
>
>Cheryl


I think Cheryl is right.  Its an attitude.  If you look on every nit-pick as
an excuse to dislike your spouse, or move apart from your spouse, the
marriage will end up in the dumps.  But if both people love each other,
and know how to communicate with each other, they look for solutions (sometimes
as simple as a coaster :-) ) to the problems, and with each "problems solved
or overcome" grow closer, instead of apart.  Its not easy, but can be very
rewarding.

-Brad
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine)
Subject: Kevin gets a girl! (was Re: Being Alone?)
Organization: Don't blame me, I voted for Bill 'n' Opus
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 19:28:08 GMT

Congratulations!  Tell us all about it!
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
specification is that it should run noiselessly.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
From: helie@bach.udel.edu (Ray Helie)
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 06:30:50 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware

(Mike Coleman) writes:
  " oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
    |This happened to me again this weekend;  went out Friday, guy says let's 
    |get together tomorrow night, I'LL CALL YOU, and then never did (I 
    |thought he would, too). "
 
  " It may be painful, confusing, and annoying as hell, but there is a blessing
    here, too:  you found out something important about this guy in under 24 
    hours that might have taken you months to discover. "

Beautiful!
 
************************************************************************
   Ray Helie         8-)                   University Of Delaware
   [helie@bach.udel.edu]                   Newark, DE
************************************************************************
From: jaker@csugrad.cs.vt.edu (Jake Rose)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Is it me?
Date: 15 Nov 92 20:06:49 GMT
Organization: Virginia Tech Computer Science Dept, Blacksburg, VA

weird@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (john.t.erhardt) writes:


>To my last post I just wanted to add something.  Christian teach that
>sex should only be used between maried couples and for making babies only.
>Well if sex was for making babies, it wouldn't feel so good!

Those Christians probably tag it as "satanic influence" or something.  There's
certainly a very good scientific, evolutionary reason for reproductive
activities to feel good, though, isn't there?

>John Erhardt
-- 

Wulf                    |"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!"
jaker@csugrad.cs.vt.edu |
From: pa_ross@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Mr Rossy)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: H*ll of a situation!
Date: 20 Nov 92 11:40:44 GMT
Organization: University of the West of England, Bristol

>>1.  I'm too nice of a guy and I should start being more of a bastard.

Alas it is often the case, women do tend to go out with real bastards. I don't
know why, I think it must be a sadistic streak in them.

>>2.  There are no really nice women around anymore.

Very few nice women that are single.

>>3.  Women think my personality is to good to be true.

I think they are just flattering you. Always beware of making women feel
trapped to early on. IE coming on really heavy with them, saying that you
want to marry them.

>>4.  Because of my good looks and personality, women assume that
>>    I'm already taken.(Don't laugh...I've actually been told this
>>    by some of them)

Well, in that case you should go for better ladies if the ones you are chasing
find it hard to believe that you are interested.
I know it's a bitch of a game to play, no rules and deffinately requiring
alot of different skills, but the end is always worth it.

						 Paul
						=----=
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bassama@microsoft.com (Bassam Abukarroum)
Subject: Re: H*ll of a situation!
Date: 16 Nov 92 17:16:29 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corporation

In article <1992Nov12.163019.1802@ccsvax.sfasu.edu> z_arthurjk@ccsvax.sfasu.edu writes:
>I haven't met a nice young woman to have a rewarding relationship
>with in over two years.  Love just isn't on my side.  I'm sort of shy
>around women but I don't think that's the main problem.  People
>have given me a number of answers to this situation.  
>Among them are:
>
>1.  I'm too nice of a guy and I should start being more of a bastard.
>  
>2.  There are no really nice women around anymore.
>
>3.  Women think my personality is to good to be true.
>
>4.  Because of my good looks and personality, women assume that
>    I'm already taken.(Don't laugh...I've actually been told this
>    by some of them)
>
>This is one h*ll of a situation to be in!
>What, if anything, can I do to get out of this predicament?
>This is not a joke! I'm serious.
>
>Jay

I don't know about number 4 above, but totally disagree with number 2.
As for 1 and 3, I know exactly what you mean. I usually attract women
because "I'm really a nice guy." I treat them like queens and try hard
to make their happiness my desire. More than once I've told "you are
such a nice guy. You are so special." I can understand being rejected
and dumped for being a jerk, but I have hard time reasoning with rejecting
someone because they are "too good to be true" and because "they are
so nice."

I thought about starting to act on the bastard side, but that's not me.
I can't justify acting like that just to please that someone. Because,
sooner or later they'll find out that I'm a nice guy and then gues what...
it's all over.

My advice, just be yourself and you'll run into that special one who 
appreciates you and your qualities

Best of luck.
Sam
From: cress@enterprise.ksu.ksu.edu (Garrett C Cress)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: childish guys - what about girls
Date: 15 Nov 1992 19:05:56 -0600
Organization: Kansas State University
Distribution: na
NNTP-Posting-Host: enterprise.ksu.ksu.edu


In article <1992Nov10.041623.2147@geovision.gvc.com>, barry@geovision.gvc.com (Barry Comer) writes:
>All this talk about childish guys is all well and fine, but what about the
>women of the world.  I for one find a slight childish streak(not a brat type
>of thing, but youthful) in a lady rather refreshing.  What about it folks?
>
>cheers
 ^^^^^^
>Barry
>
>-- 
>
>===========================================================================
>	I would write a signiture file but I don't have the time.  Then again
>	I guess I just did, go figure.  Funnier things have happened.....



I'll drink to that! {;)-<--<

                               the gmeister
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: lana@magenta.corp.sgi.com (Lana Mountford)
Subject: Re: Is it just me....
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 21:25:57 GMT

In article <1992Nov13.153229.22308@panix.com>, jis@panix.com (Jack Szwergold) writes:
|> Is it just me, or is it harder to meet people nowadays (for men and women)
|> Is this due to health risks (AIDS and the such)
|> Is this due to lack of stability in the country as a whole? (I know this
|> sounds fruity, but could a "mass-hysteria" like thing be considered a factor)
|> Is this due to.... whatever....

I think a lot of it has to do with the economy (at least in my age
group).  "Job security" just doesn't exist anymore.  In the past 5
or so years, I've been working harder for more hours each day than
ever before.  A normal work day starts around 8:00am, and I might
finally get out of the office by 8:30pm, if then.  And if I decide
I don't want to work those longer hours?  There are plenty of folks
looking for work who are just itching to replace me.  Add to that
a 1+-hour commute each way, and my day is pretty well shot.  No
time for dating during the week.  What about on weekends?  I 
occasionally have to work on Saturdays (at least once a month),
and there usually isn't much warning.  So, it's difficult to plan
dates, other than perhaps Sunday afternoons (which I tend to leave
open).

I meet a lot of people at work (my company employs about 3500
people), but we're all pretty much in the same boat -- too busy
to *do* anything about it.
-- 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|    /)                      | Lana Mountford    
|   / /  __    ___    __     |    
|__(_/__(__)\__/  )__(__)\__ |   
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bross@spartan.ac.BrockU.CA (Brian J Ross)
Subject: Re: A book
Organization: Dept of Computer Science, Brock University
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 23:31:11 GMT

pierceha@bcstec.ca.boeing.com (Heather Pierce) writes:
: 
:    Anyhow, I have found a book that
:    discusses romance yet is not a how-to manual.  It does a lot of explanation
:    yet it is very supportive. [...] 
:    It is called 'A Fine Romance'.  I is found
:    all over and locally here at the U of W bookstore.  I hope that if you
:    get to read it that you enjoy it (unless of course, you'd rather not
:    enjoy it) and feel as comfited by its information as I am.

Excellent recommendation, Heather!  I bought and read the book this
weekend. The author Judith Sills seems pretty astute.  There are a 
few minor points on which I disagree with her.  First, she seems very 
biased about the merits of marriage over singledom.
She also unfairly judges "singles places" (bars, dances, clubs).
But other than that, a good read, and I want to read her earlier book now.


-- 
Brian Ross                         "How do we arrange lures in our tackle box?
bross@sandcastle.cosc.brocku.ca     From left to right, according to size and 
                                    frequency of use." -- Anal-Retentive Chef.
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Plea
Date: 18 Nov 92 19:48:54 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Nov18.010332.12466@cs.uwp.edu> itzenhui@cs.uwp.edu (Steve Itzenhuiser) writes:
>
...
>I am now interested in one particular woman (who I really hope doesn't
>read this).  She is intelligent and wise (a combination hard to find), and
>also quite stunning.  She has expressed interest in me, though I don't
>know to what extent, though that in itself can keep me in check for some time.
>My biggest problem, however, is that I become very absorbed into a woman
>and thus become anxious.  I don't know what to think when she does this or
>that, I don't quite know how to act and react.  I know that I should be
>myself, but I do so much want to be with her but I do not want to push her
>away.  I become quite stressed.  Do I relax, do I tell her of my anxiety,
>or what?  I would really appreciate a bit 'o advice.
>

Steve:

It is natural to feel some anxiety when trying to start a relationship.
Try to relax, enjoy your time with her and not take things too seriously. 

I would not advise telling her about your anxiety, since this will tend
to make it look like you are taking things too seriously, which might
scare her off. But don't worry about appearing nervous around her,
either. This can be cute, and shows that you have a real interest in
her.

Don't try to read something into everything she does. You aren't going
to be able to figure out what she thinks this way. At this point in the
relationship you should be trying to get her to enjoy having you around.
Concentrate on this, and don't worry too much about whether she likes you.
Have faith that if there is a potential for a relationship, she will
develop that interest in time, and a few mistakes on your part are not
going to change that.

Besides being yourself, you want to communicate you are interested in her.
It may be obvious to you, but you need to show so that she has no doubts.
Don't do this by telling her how much you like her, though, because this
tends to sound too serious (like you are pressing for something in 
return). Talk to her, and listen to what she says. Ask questions, and
get her to talk about herself. Pay attention to what she says. Compliment
her on what you think are her good points. Do this with a loving attitude:
be accepting rather than critical, be positive, don't give advise. Smile.
You will find it is much easier to be yourself if you are concentrating
on her. If you concentrate on what you are doing, you become self-conscious
and thus artificial.

Good Luck,
Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: lisad@dynamo.ecn.purdue.edu (Lisa Dominique)
Subject: Re: It's coming
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 21:13:48 GMT

In article <Bxyw7t.M6n@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-) writes:
>
>It's coming....BITE!....the chronicles of a compassionate vampire.
      ^^^^^^
Is that supposed to be spelled with an "o" or a "u" ??   ;-)


Lis, The Official Good Romantic Witch
and Honoured Former President
of the Romantic Fire Association

p.s.  Heaven is a *Hug* and a *Smile*
      the Joy of Music and the Beauty of Silence
From: t923335@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au (IronEagle)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: worried...
Date: 18 Nov 1992 02:51:32 GMT
Organization: RMIT Computer Centre
NNTP-Posting-Host: minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au

ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-) writes:
>jrsalt@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Julie Salter) cheerfully says:

>>ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-) shares: 
>>>jrsalt@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Julie Salter) gives it away:

>>*sigh*  How'd you get so good?

>Hey, it's just me...nothing special.

You said it bud.

>>The only problem with that is it hurts me to see you wince when you are
>>carrying in the wood.  :(

>Those are just exercises I do to keep the face muscles in tone.

Hmmmm......yeah, sure thing...

>>>>Does that make sense?
>>>I'll ask my sense-ei.
>>Ok.....*confused look*

>Sorry, pun on sensei...as in "instructor in martial arts",
>"teacher"...

*yawn*

>>Now darlin', why would you want to do that?  So all the women would start
>>propositioning you again?  Hummmmm????

>Naw...don't want that.

Yeah, cos it isnt possible.

>>I already told you that I emailed the entire female population of netland
>>and told them it was over, the best was gone, tough luck.  Do I have to resort
>>to more extreme tactics?

>That's ok honey...put down the Uzi...they won't bother us.

Yeah, they have been running for the hills for years..

>Steven

-CBMIEB!

-- 
 ############################################################
 ##  Never assume the obvious, as it is rarely the truth!  ##
 ##t923335@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au Iron@Eagle.aero.rmit.edu.au##
 ############################################################
From: CE42@lafibm.lafayette.edu (CE42)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Whippin' in the vat...
Date: 19 Nov 92 02:52:05 GMT
Organization: Lafayette College
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <1992Nov17.204536.6745@orphan.nashvil.ingr.com> puter@orphan.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude) writes:
>>Yummmmm....What a good idea PuterDude.  We should have whipping in the
>>vat more often!  *chocosmooch*
>
>And look at how you float on the top just like a cherry. By golly,
>I think that I've got somethin' here...   I hope it doesn't ruin
>any dinner I had planned...

Didn't I see a lady walking around with a frying pan...? ;-)

Emily
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat