From: martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Male visual orientationREFRESH
Date: 4 Apr 92 18:56:49 GMT
	<1992Apr2.200752.6651@cs.yale.edu> <1814@asuvax.eas.asu.edu>
	<1992Apr3.020907.11762@cs.yale.edu>
Organization: /theta/theta5/unc/martinc/.organization
In-reply-to: loosemore-sandra@CS.YALE.EDU's message of 2 Apr 92 21:08:56 GMT

In article <1992Apr3.020907.11762@cs.yale.edu> loosemore-sandra@CS.YALE.EDU (Sandra Loosemore) writes:

      ... I was just upset that
      she took the clothes off before I got a chance
      to fuck her.

   Personally, my experience has been that men get much more enthusiastic
   when I *do* take my clothes off.  :-)

Just as a thought, try *not* taking them *all* off.  (One of my favorite
memories back in my medieval Japanese phase was the time when
lady-friend and I were both dressed in Kamakura drag, I made tea in tea
ceremony, then we made love like in the pillow books, with clothing
artfully moved aside at just the right places.)

	   The point is that many men are very
      sensitive to visual stimulation and variety
      in same, and are pleased when women dress
      in a provocative manner from time to time.
      ... If you're smart, you'll just
      shrug and say to yourself, "So, this stupid
      little outfit gets him hot, eh?  I'll have
      to wear it more often."

   I guess the thing I *don't* understand is why you (or is it men in
   general?) find dressing like a whore to be appealing in the first
   place.  

I think one problem is whatiznames' choice of terminology, or our social
standard for the implications of it.  Dressing in an explicitly
provocative manner -- which appears to mean "dressing in a way that we
already know many men find sexually provocative" -- becomes "dressing
like a whore" because of course no woman would dress in a way to provoke
sexual desire unless she were a chippie.  At best.  Underlying all this
in my opinion is the hidden assumption that women don't really want to
be wanted sexually.

   Prostitution, after all, is an incredibly degrading and
   demeaning activity for women.  Why do you think it's "smart" for women
   to *want* to glorify prostitution?  Do you find the idea of impersonal
   sex with a prostitute more exciting than the idea of sex with a woman
   who cares for you as a person?  Why would you want a woman *you* care
   about to humiliate herself in this way?

There are a whole *lot* of assumptions in this that I don't think ought
to be argued with in soc.singles [you all thought you'd never hear me
say that, right?] but what right have you to assume that his feeling
this way about his steady SO has *anything* to do with wanting
impersonal sex?  What it appears to *me* to be saying is "I like it when
you do things that make me feel like you want me, by doing things that
make me feel sexy."
--
Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu/(ne crm@cs.duke.edu) 
O/Department of Computer Science/Sitterson Hall/UNC/Chapel Hill, NC 27599
H/3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to
grow sharper.  -- Eden Phillpot, I'm told.  Anyone have a better reference?
Newsgroups: soc.singles