From: sgokhale@lonestar.utsa.edu (Shashank S. Gokhale)
Subject: Re: Help...?
Keywords: ex-boyfriends
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 01:48:22 GMT

In article <1993Jan24.150231.13906@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mreinker@nyx.cs.du.edu (matthew Reinker) writes:
>Disclaimer:  I'm using my current boyfriend's account to do this, and it
>is my problem.  I'd rather not use my name so I'll use "Companion".
>
>THE PROBLEM: I was home recently from college to do taxes(yuck) and went
>through what little mail I have there.  Mostly bank statements but then I
>got to the envelope that had been left sitting conspicuously on the piano.
>	It was a Valentine's Day card from an ex-boyfriend, to be
>truthful, an ex-fiancee. He says he still is always been thinking of me,
>he apologized for "whatever" he did wrong in our relationship and he said
>something to the effect that he would like to get back together if I'm not
>"already engaged to someone else".
>	It has been over a year since I broke up with him. I decided that
>I couldn't get married and skip college to become a military wife, which
>he wanted.  I do want to get married, but I think it would be better after
>college. Plus my parents weren't too fond of him, although this was not
>the deciding factor in the break-up.
>	He and I were "fooling around" but never had intercourse.  I told
>him I wanted to wait until we were married, but whenevr it got hot, he
>would be begging me to have sex with him. Sometimes, when I'd say no or
>stop, he'd be very slow about it and then when we were apart, he'd
>apologize profusely, making me feel guilty for not having sex.  I broke up
>with him because I felt he was pressuring me, and I did it on the grounds
>(I thought) that it would cool us off and then we'd get back together.
>	The night we broke up (he also knew that I thought it would be
>temporary) he went to my best friend's house and cried all on her and then
>made out with her.  She confessed to me and then informed me that he had
>been "sleeping around" while we had been dating!  I asked him about it,
>and he said it was true, after repetedly denying it. Everyone in our small
>hometown knew he was doing it while I was away at college. So I broke up
>with him for good, and he immediately took another girl to bed.
>	Since then, I've basically said LJBF and forgave him, plus I
>developed a loving relationship here at college (a story in itself).  My
>ex and I were maybe secretly engaged for a month, and told my parents a
>week or two before we broke up, maybe two months all together.  I don't
>want to write him off completely, but I'm afraid he's obsessed with me, he
>seems to have this thing for dating a girl and getting them in bed, I
>broke his record, so to speak, I'm afraid to see him again, because of
>what could happen should we end up alone somewhere.
>	Gals and Guys of AR, please send advice c/o :
>		
>		Mattre@linfield.edu
>	It would be appreciated, or just post here.
>P.S. Yes, my current love knows about this, he sat here to help me type it.
>
>--
>My Ideas and opinions are my own. I don't share.
>Any errors you find in grammer or spelling are not mistakes, but ART!
>
>"I'm going slightly mad!"      Queen


i would say that you forget about him do not reply to his mail and get
on with your own life.