From: davevh@cs.arizona.edu (Dave "~{Mr4sP[~}" Van Horn)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Re: Me, Jay Paul Chawla
Date: 23 Jan 93 04:17:15 GMT
Organization: Where I stole the margarine.


	This is not a warlord.  If don't want to read anything except
warlords, now would be a good time to press 'n'.

	I found this in alt.religion.kibology .  He does too good a
job of self-warlording for me to try and top him.

In article <1993Jan23.031829.11424@wam.umd.edu> chawla@wam.umd.edu (Jay Paul Chawla) writes:
} I am overwhelmed by religious fervor!  I am reborn, or re-pre-teen'ed,
} in the Net!  Now you all must see what God has shown me.  It's very
} bad, and I'm very proud of it, so I hope you all will humor me.  I'd
} better post this before I realize I'm making a fool of myself, but I
} never will, the years are fading away, I have completely forgotten the
} intense shame of being me!  I'm cool again, lalalalala, I know you are
} but what am I?, I'm not listening I have my hands over my ears
} lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala I can't hear a word you are saying!
} 
} Well, I've completely redesigned my .sig for the new model year, and
} let me tell you: boy am I going to be popular in '92!  Your eyes will
} pop out of your head once I've learned how to put those funny commands
} that make the screen go boldface or underlined or whatever, into my
} signature.  You will notice that my, Jay Paul Chawla's, name appears
} only three times in my current signature, but soon it will appear
} cleverly overlaid on the cool text lots more times, so my name can
} appear ten times total, making me ten times as cool as most of you,
} and exactly forty times cooler than Kibo, whose name only appears 1/4
} of a time, except when he prints his whole signature, which he'll
} never do again because he knows that I'll just append his signature to my
} signature with all the "Kibo"'s, even the ascii-pic ones, changed to
} "Jay" and then I'll print every single letter of my signature on
} everything I post, breaking the net before HappyNet is ready to take
} over the load.  I might add that including Kibo's .sig would also give
} me room to overlay my name about 1000 more times than I do currently,
} but I would have to convert all the white space to periods so you
} could see it better.  I'll have to write a program to do it, but
} that's okay; like all cool people, I like to "say it with C code."
} Then I'll get a shorter name so I can become even cooler.  Maybe I'll
} shorten my name to zero letters so I can be infinitely cool and
} infinitely advertised without even posting a thing!  Or maybe I'll
} break into Net Headquarters and in all the Usenet articles I'll
} replace-string "Kibo" with my new 50000-character signature.
} 
} <boldface ascii-pic signature overlay will look like this} 
} ........*...*......*...*......*...*......*...*......*...*......*...*......*...*
} .........*.*........*.*........*.*........*.*........*.*........*.*........*.*.
} ...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*..
} ...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*..
} ...*.****.....*.****.....*.****.....*.****.....*.****.....*.****.....*.****....
} ***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*....
} 
} "I had to become infinitely cool because that's the only way I could
} be even cooler than myself." -- Jay Paul Chawla (quote soon to appear in
} lots of signatures near you, maybe even YOURS!)
} 
} --
} ******JAY*********   ****JAY PAUL CHAWLA****  **J**A**Y**!**!**!** | THE "IBO"
} LEWD, CRUDE, AND IN THE NUDE!  I'M NOT A HIGH SCHOOL KID ANY MORE, |IS SILENT!
} ^I THINK THIS LINE WILL GET ME WOMEN (1-301-935-5846)! SO WATCH OUT!BANDWAGON-
} ^JUST KIDDING!  I THINK *THAT* WITTY AND CLEVER LINE WILL GET ME WOMEN!!EER!
} NOW CALL ME AND TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED MY ARTICLE SO MUCH THAT YOU READ ALL THE
} WAY TO THE END!!! NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!!!!!

	If you've gotten this far, that implies that you liked it.
I'm glad I could brighten your day.  :-)

				--Dave, sacrificing '>'s to inews.
--
Dvae, err... Dave Van Horn. ( ~{Mr4sP[~} )
#include <std_disclaimer.happy.happy.joy.joy>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord