From: sokay@cyclone.mitre.org (Stephen J. Okay)
Subject: MiniAngstCon Part 1
Originator: sokay@cyclone
Organization: Mitre Corporation, McLean, VA
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 17:55:20 GMT


Mini-AngstCon:The transcript(not to be confused with M-A the film, M-A
the book, or M-A the toilet paper)

The Players:
Armadillo/Steve---sokay@mitre.org
Rachel---Our Mistress of angst, rperkins@as.arizona.edu
Lightning Man/Jeff: That wacky fun-a-minute jlewis@as.arizona.edu


Thursday Afternoon:
Well, I am at Dulles, having just weeded my way through the security checkpoint,
given the droids there fits at the number of pockets my jacket contains only
to find myself stuck on a 737. Yeah, right...I'm going to fly this all the way
to Az. As if....Hey, I get nervous taking these down to Florida, not to mention
cross-country....

ObAngst: The Airfone keeps hanging up on me. Some engineer designed it so the mouth
piece is right next to the switchhook. It keeps hanging up everytime I go to talk
into it. Bah!. I'm going to owe a bundle in phone charges as well in parking 'cause
I can't get a hold of anybody back to get my car out of hock at Dulles parking.

thursday pm
armadillo:
Rachel has met me at the airport and we are at a small mom 'n' pop kitchenette
type place, which isn't all that bad except for some extremely pitiful
touristy artschlock on the walls. She was right. She is tall, smart, and she
does have big boobs.  Jeff Lewis shows up about an hour later to whisk us off
to Dennys.

Dennys, Tucson: Definitely ZONE-a.
The cacti are real. She had the biggest roundest...oh well we'll get to
that later....

rachel:
back at the hovel...lightning man brings up the subject of the rental car
angst. armadillo had reserved one, but was informed at the time he arrived
in sunny t00son that the name on his credit card had to match that on his
license....since he had mother armadillo's card, this was impossible.
therefore, we were hosed, and had to take the shuttle to aforementioned
hovel. lightning man is going to try to acquire a rental car via his
place of marginal employment.
dennys has provided us with the necessary caffeinated products (two
coffees and a coke) to continue our convention late into the night.

ObAngst: lightning man has instituted a two dollar fine for inadvertent
wayne's world quoting...i already owe a bundle...bah.

lightning man: i can only hope that sedation or death comes before the
weekend is over...help me....

Armadillo:....gee and I thought I was being at least mildly entertaining
and amusing. "The audience was put off by his thick Welsh accent and
abusive adlibs.." Oh well, perhaps I should fulfill his above wish and
throw myself on a cactus. It would be the ASH-ful thing to do. Bah!(tm)*

*Bah (and its derivitives) is a trademark of Rachel Perkins

friday am
Armadillo:
We have both woken up far earlier than we're used to, or at least I'm used to.
A question burbles up from the depths of my mind, it seems like a tension-relieving
ice-breaker:
So, if you were a quark, what kind of quark would you be?

Rachel: that'd be in the butt, bob...oops, wrong newsgroup.
it's much too early, but at least we got to watch mr. wizard and
 dangermouse...
lightning man is to arrive at 8am and we are to take him to work in return
for the use of his truck so we can visit the center of the sci.astro
universe: kitt peak.

Armadillo:Yes, dangermouse! He's the greatest, He's fantastic! Dangermouse,
Dangermouse!....oh, am I being referential again?--sorry. Well, we don't
feel like being cooped up here in the hovel as we still have quite a bit
of time before the Lman arrives, so were are going to try to forage for 
our own breakfast.

rachel: no breakfast, denied.. ...starvation angst. not even a circle k for blocks and
 blocks. typical of sunny t00son....bah. 

armadillo:Stuck with Heathcliff on Nick. Do I *really* want to get into
 animation when its industry puts out stuff like that? Bah
Hey at least the flora are pretty cool. The cacti are actually pretty neat.
Although given their prevelance,walking around here drunk could provide a
lot of Perforation Angst.  
Give me Phood!!!!!!

rachel: yeah, phood is definitely in order...but i think we will hafta
wait  until we have safely deposited lightning man at his place of
marginal employment. at last the object of the previous sentence has
arrived...food is within our grasp...

lightning man:
help!!!!!! i am being forced to type senseless dribble.....this is not fun
..i have seen fun..and this is NOT it....LM

Steve:okay, well it looks like camping is off and we're going be hanging
 out in Lovely t00son(I still think it should be Toosun), so we go to her
400A Astrophysics class and learn how to calculate the radii of stars and
other stuff and the professor is spitting out these formulae that I'm trying
to type into the palmtop and graph and they make these really crazy crazy
patterns. Rachel appears rather bored, but I'm kind of interested. Its not
as angstful or boring as she made it out to be. Does this mean I'm a geek?
(Or even more of one than I used to be?). Class is over and so we trot on
over to the computer room. We read her news for a while, poked through her
 mail and into the various private parts of her e-life and are now
 sitting in Mi Niditos' described by the aforementioned Ms. Perkins as
 the "tackiest yet best Mexican in Tucson"  And yet again we are typing...

rachel: yeah, well we didn't want to go camping anyway. bah. we are
 therefore going to put off kitt peak until tomorrow, and attend a party
 at a friend of mine's, consume some alcohol, and generally relax. we seem
 to have about a ten minute wait ahead of us here at mi nidito
 (my little nest, for all you non-southwest types).

Steve:So, I have been here in 'zona for about 18 hours or so and have come
 to several conclusions:
1. Her main wish is already taken care of. t00son has already been nuked
 in some past life. She is not at all happy with the civilization or lack there of that has sprung out of the ashes and still maintains it should be hit again.    
2. Her angst is completely and totally justified, esp. in terms of geographical angst.
I can't think of a a single reason why people would come here unless they REALLY wanted
to study at UofA. How you could make this out to be a partyschool I'll never know. But
then again, the bowheads were never able to figure that out in time, hence their
appearance here. They THINK 'zona is a happenin' place, but any place will be happenin'
when you're drunk off your ass.
3. Given the above, I vote that all future AngstCons be held here in sunny t00son,
angst purveyor to the universe(Well okay, at least to the local cluster).

rachel: all commercials on mtv are either for clothes or for candy. and i'm really sick of
that levi's big jeans commercial. bah. it's too hot here (said with newly justified angst).

armadillo: So, Rachel, have you ever noticed how all Heavy Metal ballads sound the same?

rachel: hey, just because all the songs def leppard ever wrote do doesn't mean all of them
do. consider the ever cool and forever in my collection scorpions...

armadillo: So we end up going to this place called "The Olive Garden" for dinner and
dinner becomes much of what it will be for the next several nights. After mulling over
the menus for a few minutes and presenting our desires to the waitroid, we lapse into
yet another endless session of quotes from MST3K, Wayne's World, Monty Python, Red Dwarf,
LA Story and others. They are laughing, but I can't tell if they are amused or annoyed.

rachel:
much later, after italian food...it's a party! this is my friend ruth's housewarming.
since we are unable to go camping due to lack of car rental, we are going to coppercon
in phoenix tomorrow. my very first sci fi convention ever. luckily i have my sca garb to
double as a 'costume'...hope we find a place to crash...oh, and the '@' party...indeed.  

lightning man:
i have found myself in a very unenvious position of introducing rachel to a scifi con.
the world may never be the same after tonight  god help us all   i need sleep  

help i am being forced to lie about the most basic properties of my being

armadillo:
So we are taking Rachel to a con tomorrow, probably the only way two people can
deflower a (con)virgin at once.

rachel: i'm getting a little worried about this...
DENIED!  we were mistaken...coppercon is next weekend...bah. so, on to plan q...

armadillo: Well, I myself am personally bummed, I mean PERSONALLY, I mean it was like they
knew I was coming and said "Oh, well lets move it to the next weekend after he leaves
then.." BaH!
Plan Q....plan Q, what is plan q?
What happened to plans C-P? I don't know...

        
-- 
Stephen Okay  sokay@mitre.org
"You see, I'm kind of this control freak who likes to create his own
personal hells before the real one can get to him. I like to beat hell
to hell so to speak".--Spalding Gray "Monster in a box"
Newsgroups: alt.angst