From: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Subject: Re: Two year old tantrums, vomiting, and bedtime
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio, (USA)
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 21:05:45 GMT


     If you are giving him lots of quality time, I wouldn't expect that it
was sibling rivalry, but it could be; he could just be afraid because he
thinks he's being "replaced" as the baby.  I don't know how good he is
at helping, but I'd try to get him involved a lot in getting clean diapers
and little things like that, so he can become proud to be the big brother.
My Aunt Cyndy has had lots of success at defusing the rivalry that way,
but of course her kids are 3 to 4.5 years apart.
     Okay, the main thing here is that he is trying to maintain his
independence, but still wants attention.  He is much like Judy's
Mitchell; I recall her saying in a post that he could throw tantrums
that could shake the neighborhood.  Brad seems to be the type who
will go after the t.twos with a vengeance - I imagine Judy will post
something on how she tried everything, and finally ignored them and
got to expect them to say "no," because it's their job at that age.  I
wouldn't worry about the vomitting; Brad's recent tantrums don't sound
much worse than Mitchell's must have been to merit the description they
did; it's just that Brad has a weaker stomach, and all that screaming will
upset it.  My cousin Dan, now 12, would throw up if he was really
worried, or if he'd been crying somewhat hard at that age.  In fact, he
was so nervous that it wasn't until he was 8 that he would eat several
full meals the day of a soccer or baseball game he was in, because his
mind would be on the game so much and it would upset his tummy.
(Athletics' pitcher Dave Stewart doesn't eat on days he pitches, and he's
35 or so!)  So, he probably just has a weaker stomach.
     Brad is choosing sleeping among the things to challenge you on that
are available to 2YOs. (Eating and getting dressed are the others.)  While
I can offer some suggestions on how to get him to sleep, they are better
suited for kids 3 or older; you really just have to put up with it to some
extent.
     First, find something that will calm him down - music, a tape of you'
reading to him, anything to get him to settle.  Let him pick it out every
night.  You'll probably need to stick with it; I don't know if the conse-
quence of not having it available if he doesn't get to bed is available at
2 - I don't know if they can comprehend.  By 2.5 or 3  revoking privileges
like this can be done.
     Also, tell him when it's a certain length of time he understands till
bedtime.  Have a ritual that is foolproof; i.e.: having the baby asleep or
awake can't disrupt it.
     Also, get a gate for his bedroom door so he can't crawl out of his
room.  He'll eventually get the idea that he needs to sleep, even if he
does so on the floor or somthing.
     I wouldn't recommend letting him lay in the vomit; when he's older,
perhaps making him clean it up is okay, but it seems it would be too
unsanitary, though it would be unpleasant enough to make him stop
IF he realized that the tantrums were causing it, which I don't think
he can at this age.
     It sounds like you're doing a lot of the things I'd suggest, so all
I can say is - good luck!  It gets better.
-- 
Doug Fowler: dxf12@po.CWRU.edu      :    "Every baby born into the world is
Real home: Canton, Ohio             :  finer than the last."--Charles Dickens
 Trying to follow in the path of our :     "A baby is an inestimable
Lord;anything close will be a success:  blessing and bother."--Mark Twain
Newsgroups: misc.kids,misc.rural