HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: radio stuff
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 22 Jul 1992 22:48:13 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
Distribution: na
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <92204.161904JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu> Jenni Sheehey 
<JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:

>ObPeeve: Sometomes the BDI driver is a friend of yours. 


I know whatcha mean.  Last Friday, I took half the day off and accompanied
a friend of mine up to San Bruno to look at a house that's for sale; he
drove.  On the way back -- the long way, down the coast highway -- he
was all laid back, looking around at the scenery.  So was I for that
matter, but I could afford to, since I wasn't driving.  Glancing in
the right-hand mirror from time to time, I couldn't help noticing that
there was usually another car rather close behind us, and I realized
that we were doing about five miles per hour below the speed limit.
(Despite the increasing number of car-hating granola heads in Subarus, 
Third World immigrants in Toyota Camrys with lace doily antimacassars,
and miscellaneous other numbnuts drivers out here, the majority of us 
still use the posted speed limit as a vague guideline, an absolute 
minimum, rather than something to be taken seriously.)  

I was reluctant to say anything, even though my friend is one of the 
more relaxed people I know and wouldn't have taken offense, simply 
because I didn't want to be a pain in the ass on what was supposed to 
be a badly needed day off.  And it was driving me crazy.  When I'm 
behind the wheel, I'm really attentive to people behind me who seem 
to want to drive faster than I am, and I'll move over for them in a 
heartbeat.  You'd expect that, because people who fail to do that
are one of my biggest peeves when I drive.  

Then there are the people who'll say something like, "If you don't like
my driving, then get out and walk!" at the first sign of a passenger's
discomfort, however subtle and diplomatic one tries to be about it.
I don't remember the last time anyone ever said that to me, and I don't
really think anyone ever has, but I've observed it and heard about it from
others.  Such people deserve to be forced to confront their own idiocy:
"Whassamatter, is that the best you can do?  Are you really *that*
insecure?  I bet you haven't gotten laid in a coon's age, with a shitty
attitude like that!  HAW HAW HAW!  <snort>"

Peeve:  hitch-hiking.



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-



Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: slv@camembert.cs.wisc.edu (Scott L. Vandenberg)
Subject: Vending Machines
Organization: UW-Madison Computer Sciences
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 21:05:56 GMT

Vending machine peeves have been welling up inside me for the last
few months and now they've reached critical mass.  The following is 
a partial list.

VMP1:  I just put 75 cents into an ice cream machine; the ice cream 
costs 60 cents.  Three nickels came out of the change return slot at
a high rate of speed.  I don't mean they just fell onto the floor from
the slot, these things rocketed out with a great deal of noise and
momentum.  To make things more entertaining, they came out at 2-second
intervals.  The first went across the hall and under another vending
machine.  The second hit me in the leg then spun on the floor for about
an hour and a half before settling down.  The third hit the floor, 
rolled across the hall, rolled back, and came to rest under the
vending machine whence it came.  So at least I got one of them back.
But stay tuned, this gets even better ...

VMP2:  A continuation of VMP1.  After retrieving the remaining
nickel I reached into the machine to get my ice cream bar, the kind
in which a rectangular-like slab of ice cream has a piece of wood
protruding from it with which to grasp it, the whole encased in a
thin, loose-fitting paper wrapper.  Grasp it I did, and
held it vertically in front of my face.  As I watched in amazement
it slowly drooped to one side until it was parallel to the ground
instead of perpendicular to it and little drops of brown stuff 
oozed from the wrapper.  I shifted it in my hand slightly and the
paper wrapper broke, covering my right hand in chocolate.  I was
not amused.  The thing was completely melted (there was nothing solid
left to eat except the wooden stick, which was delicious), and I had paid
70 cents to have my right hand coated by a 60-cent ice cream bar.

VMP3:  The same machine, different day.  It used to sell wonderful
coconut ice cream bars.  One day I thought I had purchased one
because that's what the sign on the machine told me I was buying.
Silly me.  Did you know that coconut is brown and tastes an awful lot
like chocolate?  A few days later they corrected the sign.
From: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: A Terrorist is Threatening your next journey
Date: 23 Jul 92 09:55:28 GMT
Reply-To: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Organization: Penicuik People's Revolutionary Sheepdog Liberation Front

And lo, Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist) spake unto the masses saying:
>
> Now I am recovering. I am only subscribed to one group, alt.peeves.
> And I decided that today I am going to unsubscribe to it and go back
> to real life. Renew your travel insurance, I am taking my old job.

Hah! You should go into politics. Why? I see a distinct resemblance between
a politician saying...

"I'm resigning so that I can spend more time with my family"

...when he means...

"I'm resigning because I in fact have *two* families, neither of which knew
 about the other until very recently."

...and Claudio's...

"I'm stopping reading alt.peeves because of various high-minded ideas such
 as working, getting back to international terrorism and getting a life."

...when the truth is in fact...

"I'm stopping reading news because the newsreader at HP where I'm working
 at the moment is *really lousy* and I can't reasonably telnet back to
 Edinburgh to read it there because the line is so bad the round trip is 19
 seconds."

So while I would expect him to disappear for the time being, he'll probably
be back in September when the 19 second delay of telnetting in from Bristol
is replaced by the 10 second delay we normally experience when trying to do
anything here at Edinburgh.

--
		Not Al Crawford - Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk
     "The water shines/A sheepdog skips across the face/A dozen times"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU (Bruce Elliott)
Subject: Re: Cryin' baby express ... what to do?
Organization: Yale University Computer Science Dept., New Haven, CT 06520-2158
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 21:22:50 GMT

In article <24038@castle.ed.ac.uk> egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
>
>Just to throw my oar in, as it were, I am proud to inform the Peevetown
>residents that I have, for the third time this year, given up smoking. 

I did some smoking this past semester because three of my office mates
smoked and I found that the smoke bothered me a lot less if I was smoking
as well.

The funny thing is, I never noticed any physical effect from smoking and
when the spring semester ended and my office mates left for the summer
I gave it up with no problem at all.

Peeve:  If you have smoked the night before, there is a part of your
        hard pallette right by your teeth where the end of your tongue
        rests that tastes really horrible.


Alex Elliott
The Lemming.
elliott@minerva.cs.yale.edu
From: tjc@castle.ed.ac.uk (A J Cunningham)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Bike Helmets
Keywords: bikes, safety, law
Date: 30 Jul 92 17:06:53 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University Colouring Book Software

Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:


>In response to being beeped at, he moved
>into the centre of the road, making overtaking impossible. The bus driver
>then beeped again, so the courier (and this is the bit that got me)
>*stopped dead*. Quite what he was trying to achieve, I don't know, 

He was showing the driver of the bus what a fuckwit he was. Drivers who
hassle cyclists deserve to be shown that they're not the only people on
the road and if they insist on acting like complete arseholes they'll be
treated that way.

>He then gave the driver the
>finger and tore off down the road, going straight through a red light and
>turned off up a side street.

Well done that man. I only wish I had the courage to act like that when
a motorist is harassing me. UInfortunately if I tried that in this part
of the world I'd probably end up under some kevin's XR3i.

Peeve: Motorists who harass cyclists. Actually motorists in general.
T

-- 
Tony Cunningham, Insignia Solutions. 				   tjc@ed.ac.uk

Yes, I carry a grudge. If someone pokes me in the eye, I'll poke both of
their eyes. larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)
From: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Cryin' baby express ... what to do?
Date: 21 Jul 92 07:33:39 GMT
Reply-To: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Organization: The Exploding Hot Drink

cs226a030@husky1.stmarys.ca writes:
> 
[ the Blue Haired Stretch Polyester Queens (tm) ]

> There's only one way to shut her up:
> 
> "And where are you going, dear?"
> 
> "Home. I just got out of (local penal institute) for second degree murder."

I'm sure it works, but I can shut her up a lot quicker by just showing
my passport. Draw attention to my name. Or, even better, to the photo.

--
Claudio.Terrorist Mauro Pietro "The ObTerrorist" Calvelli
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: Oh, and one more. . .
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 16:36:56 GMT

In article <l6oltdINNo2@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
   In article <k5am9hm@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) 
writes:
   >>Sure, Prometheus with fire, Vulcan with his forge, Venus in the passenger
   >>seat. Plenty of folklore in a Porsche. Apollo in his chariot carrying the
   >>Sun through the sky. Let's look at car names, eh? Mercury? Pontiac was
   >>an Indian chief. Taurus is a sign in the Zodiac.

   It's amazing how few people know how to pronounce such a common name.
   Contrary to popular belief, it's "TAW-russ," not "TORR-us."  A "torus"
   is the geometric shape described by a donut, not the name of an astro-
   logical sign or a Ford.

And Nova is Spanish for "Won't Go".

L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Yo! Bottoms up! US motto. Boy!
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: Men's Cologne and Other Proof of Satan's Existence
Organization: peevish
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 00:47:29 GMT

In article <5630@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
(Please Fondle My Buttocks) writes:
>larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:

>>There's a good short book around called Class (can't recall the author)
>>which talks about such things, in a very interesting fashion.

>AUUUUUUAAUAUAUUAUGUUGUGHGHGHGHHH!@!! FUCK ME HARDER!

>If this is the very least time I hever hear of that goddamn book, it won't
>be too fucking son.

and other wasted bandwidth along the same topic.

You're wrong and you're outvoted.

Go away.

+++++++++++++++++++++Seth      sethb@fid.morgan.com+++++++++++++++++++++
 The fact that my cat happens to be dead and pining away in a box (pun
intended) has no impact on her winning the common-sense comparison here.
-- warlock@ecst.csuchico.edu (John Kennedy) in news.admin
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From: serget@syma.sussex.ac.uk (Serge A Thill)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Radio stations
Date: 22 Jul 92 02:08:14 GMT
Organization: University of Sussex

adwright@iastate.edu writes:
: 
: Is there any known way to stop "achy breaky heart" from playing inside my head?

Get a disk from Duran Duran that features "The Reflex". Listening to that song
once should be sufficient. 

--
Serge Thill.      E-mail: serget@cogs.susx.ac.uk
                  Other Networks: serget@syma.sussex.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU (Bruce Elliott)
Subject: Re: Self-serve gas stations
Organization: Yale University Computer Science Dept., New Haven, CT 06520-2158
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 05:07:03 GMT

In article <1992Jul29.124043.1361@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu> sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu writes:
>The self-serve aspect of these stations is a peeve unto itself,
>I remember the days when a grown *man* with a complete high school
>education would trot, well perhaps trundle, out to my 12 year old
>person on a YZ125 dirt bike, filler-up, take my money into the office,
>return with my change and cheerfully continue with his other work.
>Now-a-days they charge you 20 cents extra for a fat, greasy, non-
>communicative, grammar school drop-out to come out and fill your
>tank. Forget about the windows, tire pressure or oil. You gotta 
>insist they do it and HOPE they aren't packing a .38.
>

One of the redeeming features of New Jersey is that self-serve gas stations
are illegal.  All gas stations are full-serve, they wash your windows and
check your oil, and the prices are comparable to Pennsylvania or Delaware
self-serve prices and about 20 cents cheaper than New York or Connecticut
self-serve prices.

I even got a free lunch from a friend's mother for filling up her car
at a self-service station in PA because she was from NJ and had never
touched a gas pump in her life and was afraid to do so.  

Of course, NJ has the highest auto insurance rates in the country by quite
a large margin, so maybe it isn't so great after all.


Alex Elliott
The Lemming.
elliott@minerva.cs.yale.edu
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Trundling along, looking for the right bandwagon
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 14:10:07 BST
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:
> In article <23996@castle.ed.ac.uk> fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
> >Curtis the yapping poodle write:
> >>>Old ones:  Heinlein, Elison, Clarke, Kornbluth, Pohl, LeGuin, others.
> >>Slop-mongers all.
> >Well, I liked Pohl's Gateway books.
> 
> Don't mind Curtis, he's prone to taking positions just to be annoying.
> I think Pohl is a wonderful author, as are the others that I mentioned.
> 
> Curtis probably just figures that reading a star trek novelization makes
> him an authority on science fiction...

If "Elison" is a reference to Harlan Ellison, Curtis should be shot as a
warning to others.


mathew
-- 
This disclaimer does not represent the views of Mantis Consultants Ltd

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Maj. D. I. Saster)
Subject: Re: Newbie Alert!
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Dept of Redundancy Dept
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 17:41:36 GMT


In article <mhart.712577976@blackjack>, mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil 
	(Michael Hart) toasts E. Richards, scratcher of fate's door:

|>Now just a goddamn minute here, MS. Richards.  Let me remind you that
|>_you_ work for the private sector, and therefore are not, repeat,
|>not, entitled or allowed to "take a Civil Service attitude (or
|>attitute, whatever _that_ is) and sit on your, no doubt cute,
|>butt."
|>
|>_I_ work for the Fed, Dept. of Damnedexpensiveshipsplanesandmissles,
|>no less, and if anybody around here is gonna cop an attitute and 
|>sit on their butts, IT'LL DAMN WELL BE ME!

AT EASE, Mister! We have a code of misconduct here, and Glorious Traditions
(tm) to uphold. Ancestor worship is part of both - senority is sacred, and all
that. So try again with the proper attitute.

--
Nolan "Kowtows ONLY when and as appropriate" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Lawd! Lawd! Can you dig me in dish hyeah fish?" Lord Buckley
From: richard@asis.unimelb.EDU.AU (Richard Begg)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: A Healthy Dose of Sarsaparilla
Date: 27 Jul 92 10:11:58 GMT

al677@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jerry Cosyn) writes:


|     Hanging in my living room is an advertising poster from sometime
|in the late 1800s.  It hangs in my house largely because of the
|wonderful artwork: a lovely, angelic, round-cheeked young girl, with

[ CHOP! ]

Haven't I read this before?

Peeve: People who repost articles.

--
Richard Begg (richard@asis.unimelb.edu.au)
Admin Systems and Info Services - University of Melbourne.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Josef Stalin)
Subject: Re: Drug testing and welfare
Originator: yarvin@turquoise.CS.Yale.Edu
Organization: Directorate for Strategic Deception
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 10:04:09 GMT

dab@ism.isc.com (David A. Butterfield) writes:
>cs226a030@husky1.stmarys.ca writes:
>>doing drugs is wrong because it's against the law
>
>Peeve:  People who think some law defines what's right and wrong.  It
>	doesn't.

No!  Get this shit about right and wrong out of alt.peeves!  None of us care
what your stupid definitions of right and wrong are, and we certainly don't
want to hear you repeating them endlessly in an effort to brainwash other
people into believing them.  This newsgroup is for peeves, not for preaching
about morality.


--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
 "It is a mystery how I could possibly have derived pleasure from music."
    -- Darwin
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Cryin' baby express ... what to do?
Date: 30 Jul 92 09:51:50 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <l7dfmrINNnbk@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
=>
=>
=>In article <24249@castle.ed.ac.uk> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
=>
=>>=>The rate of suicide and alchoholism is higher in Sweden. It must
=>>=>be all those parents whose kids are driving them up the wall.
=>
=>>I know it's kinda boorish to bring Facts into Peevetown (check 'em at the
=>>gate, honey) but this is an invention of Old Mr Eisenhower, and has no
=>>basis in reality.
=>
=>
=>What?  You mean there's really no Swedish Olympic Suicide Team?!?!
=>
=>(Why would Pres. Eisenhower have cared about Swedish demographics?)

He was trying to say that socialism leads to suicide, and therefore all
you Murkins should be praising the lord that you have a thriving, suicide-free
society.



-- 
-Jeremy Henderson        egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk   

(or am I?)
From: larry@summit.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: 35, and the mind is already starting to go.....
Date: 21 Jul 92 14:58:34 GMT
Article-I.D.: summit.LARRY.92Jul21075834
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory

CRS strikes another youth. (Can't Remember Shit)

If you think it is bad now, try again at 45. Then you start noticing that
your arms are barely long enough to read the paper, and *other* things are
barely long enough too.

L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
The first time I had sex, I was terrified. I was alone..
From: serget@syma.sussex.ac.uk (Serge A Thill)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drug testing and welfare
Date: 31 Jul 92 09:00:17 GMT
Organization: University of Sussex

fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
: Just because I don't think the Guvmint should be doing the job doesn't
: mean that I believe taht everyone should put in the effort to do it
: individually. I have no problems with people getting together to
: disburse charity funds. Folks already do this through churches. There
: are also major charities who will do the job for you, feel free to
: choose. In fact, if some folks figure that a Guvmint agency would be the
: best way to do this then I'm all for their right to send a cheque to the
: Guvmint. What I'd like to see is some competition where folks can decide
: for themselves which agency is doing best at the job of receiving money
: from folks who have it and distributing it to folks who need it.
:                          [...]
: Depends how much money does get passed on, how efficiently, and how well
: targeted. I believe that any competition would allow options that were
: more efficient than the welfare state bureaucracy. 

I don't think to be very wrong in thinking that this has been the feeling
and policy of the people who have held power here for the last thirteen 
years. 

Without saying that this is wrong by principle and will never end up working, 
the way in which these principles are being applied here makes me venture to 
state that the patient will have died ages ago when they finally end up 
working properly.

--
Serge Thill.      E-mail: serget@cogs.susx.ac.uk
                  Other Networks: serget@syma.sussex.ac.uk
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drug testing and welfare
Date: 30 Jul 92 09:54:46 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

[Mike's Randroid Manifesto mercifully deleted.]

Has anyone seen Mike and Ronald Reagan together in the same room? Are
they actually the same person? I think we should be told.
-- 
-Jeremy Henderson        egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk   

(or am I?)
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Oh, and one more. . .
Keywords: Losers
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 92 10:15:32 BST
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach) writes:
> quite right too. I have no wish to be labelled as a Caire Bear. I
> *would* like to be remembered as the man who caught the Care Bears and
> put paid to their evil ways with a car crusher, but it's already been
> done. Sigh.

Try '"Bob's" Favourite Comics' from Rip-off press.  Particularly the story
"Care Dog Meets Pee Bear".  I particularly liked the picture of the four
horsemen of the apocalypse riding My Little Ponies.

Oh, yeah, the comic's banned in Canada.  It was seized and destroyed by
Canadian customs, apparently.


mathew
-- 
Buddy, can you spare a paradigm?