From: no from line please resubmit
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Ode to the Length of My Phallus
Date: 21 Nov 92 22:38:50 GMT
Reply-To: root@uunet.uu.net,kibo@world.std.com,root
Followup-To: alt.slack,alt.toolkits,rec.hamburger,alt.jeans.levis,alt.slacks,alt.BoZo
Organization: the DESK of the BOB 9000 Series Computer

FUCKING BULLSHIT.


Hamstrung on a halfpipe halfwit for a sixpence halfman
with a bowel movement next to one ear and a Jesus Christ for
President bumper sticker taped over the other.  My anus ERADICATES
the void, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.

I like to sing Blue Velvet.

God rest ye merry gentlemen, may nothing you dismay
you know that Christ our Saviour got drunk on Christmas day
it's everybodies right to get a bottle in a bag
and drink it all within an hour to end up on the rag

OOoooooohh! OOoooooh!

Beer of wonder!  Beer of light!
Beer of royal beauties bright!
Deathward thinking
I'm still drinking
Beer that I saved from last night!

So .. they killed him Pa-rum-pa-pum Pum.
they nailed him up real good Pa-rum-pa-pum Pum

Bloody Romans.

Ouch!  Fuck! STOP THAT!  That FUCKING hurts you STUPID imbecile Romans!  What
the FUCK are you doing in my country ANYWAY?  Shit!  STOP THAT!  OW!

Ode to the Length of my Phallus, Part I, Section 2, Paragraph 4:

The officers in question then arrived at the door and were invited in.

"Get the fuck DOWN, NOW!"

They proceded to subdue the defendant, who was antagonizing them, and resisting
arrest.

"Oh shit, man, Oh, God, Stop, I can't take no more!"

Love Letters from Satan, I received in the mail.
Groupies gang banging GARBANZO! Carbonara!

The mighty Oak.

The mighty Oak.

Hit me with your rythym stick, Hit me.  Hit me!
Hit me with your rythym stick, hit me hit me hit me!

It's 2am; I'm climbing up the stairs outside the building to see if I can
get into her apartment.  I've got a job to do, and that's all.  Me?  I'm a
rapist.  I get no money for my work, except what I steal, but I don't like
to think about that because I'm not a thief, I'm a rapist, and we've got to
keep those two separate and distinct.  My current victim is napping within
the confines of what she believes is her safe apartment.  Tonight, she is
beautiful.  Usually, I don't care, though, I've been told that rape isn't
about sexual gratification, it's about intimidation -- and now I believe that.
It's my job to intimidate, and also to defame and demoralize those I come in
contact with, heretofore called 'bitches'.  I really don't care what they
look like, or how much they weigh, or all the other things that these bitches
seem to care about to attract guys like me; I'm really just in it for the
intimidation.  I want them to know exactly what it feels like to be used and
abused, and the best way for me to do this is, of course, through sex.

In the times of the early Greeks and Romans, sex was a philanthropic thing --
you gave it away to just about anyone or anything that you came in contact
with; male, female, animal, plant, and so forth.  Today, we don't do that;
and let me tell you why.  In the earlier times of our history we thought
ourselves a relatively small peopl in a relatively small race; out tribes
were about the same size as now, but the number of tribes was much, much
smaller.  This low population gave us a very big chance of accidental genocide
should some cosmis distrubance threaten our planet; if a giant tsunami came
by, or a rather heinous meteor shower threatened us, there was a greater chance
that the whole of the human race could have completely disappeared off the face
of the earth.  The early emphasis on sex and sexual behaviour was due primarily
to our survival instincts.

Mommy!  Baby wants to Fuck!

Around the Middle Ages we had grown a bit and it became very unlikely that
humanity would just quit, so sex went into the closet, or rather, public sex
and talk about sex went into the closet.  Sex became taboo, because it was no
longer necessary to screw anything that moved.  This was the root of conserv-
atism, and fundamentalism; and this is why these things are still around today.

DON'T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME.

Homosexuality was very prevalent in all our culture throughout history, and
this is a mistake that historians often make.  Many believe that somewhere
around the middle ages homosexual practices tended to wan off, with the public
shunning homosexuality; however, this was due not to a generic hatred of
homosexuality within the populace, or a dislike or Greek society, but in fact
it only appears to have faded due to the general concealment of all sexual
practice during the Middle Ages.  The truth is that homosexuality during the
Middle Ages actually rose to astonishing proportions, yet all within the
confines of people "private lives".

Homosexuality is the best all-around cover an agent could ever have.

The main reason for the upheval of homosexual activity during this period
was simply because of the way the societies were laid out; specifically,
it was due to the lack of separation between the church and the state ...
Homosexual activity propagated through the educational system of the time,
with the cirriculum set by the religious organizations which gave them the
teachers who committed the 'crimes' against their students, who in turn 
secretly continued their homosexual activities just like their neighbors.
We must understand that by taking hundreds of pubescent boys away from their
families and placing them to live in schools with no girls present, their
sexuality had lost the choice to develop heterosexual behaviour, since there
were no females to practice it with.  

Let's hit the fucking road.
Newsgroups: alt.slack