From: kdc5072@cs.rit.edu (Kevin D Colagio)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: what's been happening (subtitle: is this unusual?)
Date: 26 Jul 92 17:55:57 GMT
Followup-To: soc.bi, sender
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, NY

This may be long (no idea yet...<grin>) and it is kinda goning to be
looking for opinions, advice, who knows what...just as a warning.

I seem to have run into a "problem" at this point in life.  I think I will
start from the begining to make things clearer...

Three years ago or so, I was going out with a guy name Chris.  Now Chris
was a year older than me (I was 18, he was 19) and we were happy, for a
while.  What started causing problems was that Chris started doing
EVERYTHING that I was involved in...to the exclusion of his own interests.
He quit 2 activities that he was involved in (Racquetball and Fencing) so
that he could do things that I was doing (and he had no interest in except
for the fact that I was doing them...)

Soon after this started happening, we broke up for that very reason (I
could not stand being worshipped) and things went well.  We were still
friends, and he understood my reasons.  I told him (in much gentler words)
that when he was himself, and not a copy of me, I would love to get back 
together with him.  Time passed, and we didn't get back together for
whatever reason (my work, his work, lack of money to do ANYTHING, etc...)
so we never started dating again.

I have since come up to school (Rochester, New York) and he stayed (as he
should have...) down in Pennsylvania (he should have because that was where
work was for him...).  I went down on the 4th of July and we got together.

Well, he has changed, and all for the better.  I love him as much now, as I
did before, and he loves me too... He has a boyfriend, but that is OK
because we get along well also.

The problems are manyfold (I want him, can't have him, etc...) but the
biggest thing that is messing me up now is wondering about myself.  I have
been comfortable with the idea of being a bi-sexual since the age of 16,
but since the 4th, things have been thrown into the twilight zone...

I am not sure of what I want...although I do have an idea of what I would
like....

    Kids...I definately want to have kids (my own, or maybe adopted)
	a partner...I do NOT want a wife, or a husband, but rather a partner to
          go through life with
    a relationship...not something that will desolve overnight, but that
          will last for years
    to be happy...a good job, someone to spend time with, people to pass
          what I have learned onto...

Part of the problem is the old hormones...they are saying "go haave sex,
doesn't matter with who, but do it..." but at the same time, my rational
part of the gray matter is saying "wait for a while, for a VERY good
possibility to come along"

So what happens?  I meet someone, and I start appraising them as a sexual
partner (even if I know they are straight...) I try and control that, and I
start to act clinically...(read clinically: cold, proper terms for things,
etc...)

And to think, life use to be SO much easier....

comments, concerns, critisizisms, hints, suggestions??????

Thanks for listening if nothing else.....

*hug*

p.s. I am now 22....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|                                                                |
|   Kevin Colagio         I happen to like    My other computer  |
|        aka              me the way I am!   is a Commodore 64C. |
| kdc5072@cs.rit.edu            huh?            yeah,  right!    |
|                                                                |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~