Newsgroups: soc.women
Subject: Re: Help! I need romantic ideas.
From: rivero@mdcbbs.com (Michael Rivero)
Date: 6 Oct 92 09:36:47 PDT
Distribution: world
Organization: M&E (Division of EDS), Cypress CA

In article <cannon.26.718310800@scs.unt.edu>, cannon@scs.unt.edu (Dustin Cannon (Lab 3460)) writes:
|> 
|> 
|> 	Hi everybody,
|> 	I have recently been told that I am not romantic, which is true (
|> long story).  My girlfriend said it was little things that I was overlooking 
|> like flowers, cards, etc..  I was wondering if you had any other little 
|> romantic things I could do that would make my SO think I am the most 
|> romantic guy ever!  I'm just a college student, so nothing too expensive.  
|> Any ideas will be greatly appreciated.  Thanks in advance.
|> 


  Part of our socialization sifferences is that women are socialized  to
view things more as symbols and appearences, whereas men are socialized more to
a "nuts and bolts" approach to life. One of the things I was never able to
communicate to my ex was that giving her a swiss army knife, and putting 
road flares and an Earthquake kit in her car meant "I love you" just as much as
flowers.... only longer!

  However, always quick to realize when I am doing something wrong, especially
when I've had a road flare thrown at me (thankfully unlit), I started to
really check out just what women (or at least this partocular one) seemed to
respond to.

  I discovered that, like those romance novels at the supermarket, women prefer
life/love to be reduced to the simplest elements and the fewest complications;
the sort of world where the most complex human problems can be solved simply
by changing perfumes ( a world view encouraged by the sellers of perfumes, I
might add).  Like men who like the "dumb blond", women like a strong
"silent" type as such people provide emotional/sexual fullfillment with a 
minimum of intellectual obfuscation.

  However, there will always be complications in the real world. New perfume
will not solve your problems relating to other humans. For that matter,
weekends weren't made for Micholobe, and Paco Raban and Riuniti on ice
won't really help you seduce anyone with an IQ higher than a UHF TV station.

  So, it's hardly suprisong that those same romance novels you see at 
the supermarket feature huighly unreal people in highly unreal locations. In 
short, a fantasy!

  My suggestion is therefore (and this is what worked for me in those
heady days prior to the abortion) that you play a bit of detective and find out
as much as you can about how your love mate fantasizes about herself,
and play to that role both in tokens, and mannerisms. That should do it.

  One word of warning. Fantasies are never reality. I always had a fantasy of
taking my ladylove for a gondola ride in Venice, Italy.  My fantasy never
included things like trying to wake her up to catch the 3 A.M. train 
from Milan, fending off the pickpockets, and the horrid smell of the canals! *








*  But I'm still glad I did it!
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|  Michael Rivero rivero@mdcbbs.com  "Middle-aged Mutant Ninja Animator" |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|   "I want my name in the press.  Why? Because I can make a lot         |
|    of money! I figure if I'm going through all this pain and           |
|                   suffering, I'm getting a Ferrari!"                   |
|                                                                        |
|     Amy Fisher, just prior to her plea bargain for attempted murder.   |
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Newsgroups: soc.women,alt.feminism