From: walner@tramp.Colorado.EDU (Shimon Walner)
Subject: Here I am!
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1992 20:06:32 GMT


Hi folks.  Hineni here.  Yes, Hineni.  Otherwise known as Shimon Walner.

I just got back from a trip back to Chicago and told all my close friends
about being abused, and when I returned I finally got a chance to tell that
one dear friend (with net access that I wanted to hear the news from me and
not over the net).  So I now feel free to drop my anonymity.

All these talks went so wonderfully.  For most folks, I just used the 
'factual' approach, since that's the safest.  I just told people that I was
abused without getting into my feelings or the specifics.  Since I usually
don't share much about myself with most of the folks I told (old work peers
for the most part) I didn't feel safe getting into everything.  But I'm
quite happy with myself and with the results.

For those who don't (or didn't) know, "Hineni" (pronounced Hee NAY nee) is
Hebrew for "Here I am", which I thought was an appropriate alias for this
group.  (BTW, thanks to Matthew Fields for immediately recognizing it and
welcoming me to asar.)

My given name "Shimon" (pronounce Sheem' OWN) is Hebrew for "one who
hears/listens".  Seems pretty apt to me, score (a rare) one for my mother.

I know that being non-anonymous is a major thing for many folks, and I know
I wouldn't have posted for quite some time without the anonymous service
(Thanks Peter).  But now it doesn't seem like a big deal at all.  Thanks to
everyone who is a part of this group for making it easier for me to feel
that way.

Today is chore day and tax day for me.  I'm swamped with work (beta-release
and FCS deadlines) and class (the famed "killer" course of the computer
science curriculum), so it's felt good to get back to the physical world by
cleaning the house.  Still, I won't be able to post much until May 13 or so.

But naturally I can't pass up the opportunity to say a few short things:

Bron: good for you for standing up for yourself!
Ladyhawke: welcome
Paul: great work on meeting Control Man.  I hope you can learn to trust each 
other.
Sim:  Love your posts, and please don't feel that you're 'intruding' if you
post on some of the things Prisoner and I have posted to each other.  After
all, we _are_ posting on the net, not talking via e-mail.  And I value your
contributions.
Cloister: Great work on the FAQ.  I'm planning on deleting the copies I have
of the stuff I sent you.  Please mail me if you think I ought to keep any of
it.
Prisoner: I liked your suggestion (and the reasoning behind it) of
soc.abuse-recovery.sexual.  And I have many thoughts on other things, but time
(that most precious commodity) for posting is in short supply these days.  I
am glad you're here and I have been enjoying your recent posts.  I think your
tone (as Black Pearl pointed out) is --?-- less likely to produce hostile
reactions.  
Robert: Way to go; you're doing great!
Alan Emtage: Thanks for your clarifying letter.
Black Pearl: Kudos.  I am happy for where you are in your healing.
changeling: I've been constantly impressed with the work you're doing.

Thanks to those folks (Jay, Robert, and ??) for the feedback on the anger 
stuff, I always like to know if those things are helpful to folks or not.
(And Black Pearl, I was happy to see your similar posting.)

Everyone else: I have had so many things to say to you guys and I've
forgotten them.  I'm sorry for that; I know I always enjoy a post directed
towards me.

Oh, I keep forgetting:  
for those looking for a therapist, the American Association for Marriage and
Family Therapy (AAMFT, a well-respected institution in the states) has a 
toll-free number for folks looking for a marriage or family therapist:

	1-800-374-AMFT

Personally, I highly recommend the family therapy approach for folks looking
for _individual_ therapy, for reasons that I'll explain if anyone is curious.
It's a free call, and I think it's definitely worth a shot.
(But I should also say that I don't have first hand experience with 
calling them.)

Shimon
(Hineni)