From: loszewski_im@sage.hnrc.tufts.edu
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: More on "Iguanas and more..."
Date: 31 Jul 92 17:16:36 GMT
Organization: USDA HNRC at Tufts University

In article <1992Jul31.061532.16705@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
> In article <1992Jul31.024314.4622@news2.cis.umn.edu> rose@wagner.cbs.umn.edu (Rozalie Enriquez) writes:
>>
>>This is rose, in Minnesota - you know, the gal with the "boyfriend,
>>iguana, and baseball bat"....
> [...]
>> 
>>Now, lets get some things straight.
>>
>>1.  I was *NOT* serious!  The imagery presented in the posting was
>>supposed to be funny.  Sorry if you did not see the humor...
>>The entire story is fiction.
> 
> Really?  Oh, gosh--is my face red!  I should have realized that your
> story was just too absurd to be true--nobody would name her iguana
> "Clyde."   
> 
> But since you were the third person this month to ask a question about
> her boyfriend, a baseball bat, and an iguana, I'd simply assumed that
> you were just yet another of these poor folks in that situation. 
> (Granted, the other situations weren't *exactly* like yours--usually
> the slogans were different--but for some reason, they were always beer
> slogans--and in one case they boyfriend was doing something much more
> interesting with a catcher's mitt instead of a bat, but on the whole it
> seems to be a pretty common problem that probably is some sort of metaphor
> for the decay of moral values in out technological society.)
> 
> Oh, well; where was I?  Oh, yeah....
> 
>  
>          "Tastes great!"
>          "Less chafing!"
>          "Tastes great!"
>          "Less chafing!"
>          "TASTES GREAT!"
>          "LESS CHAFING!"
>  
>       People all over America are fighting over new "Bedd's Spread
> Country Crotch," the delicious new spermicidal lubricant and dessert
> topping from MEGO Industries.  Bedd's Spread is terrific on everything
> from toast to ice cream to pantyhose and not only is Bedd's Spread low
> in cholesterol and saturated fats, it won't stain the sheets!  Bedd's
> Spread is available in eight mouth-watering flavors:  Chocolate, Fresh
> Mountain Meadow Breeze Mist, Lime, Butterscotch, Root Beer Float,
> Praline, Marshmallow, and Pine.  Available in the travel size
> two-ounce tube, handy six ounce roll-on, and the economical fifty-five
> gallon drum.
>  
>       So zip out today and fill your swimming pool with Bedd's Spread
> Country Crotch; you or someone you love will be glad you did.
>  
> +
>  
>       And for those of you who are looking for a little excitement,
> don't forget to pick up a tub of Cruel Whip, the S&M dessert topping
> that takes a licking and keeps on sticking.
>  
>  
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> The Unnatural Enquirer, (C) 1990 by Trygve Lode   (tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu)
> May be reproduced and distributed freely in unmodified form on a
> noncommercial basis provided this notice remains intact.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------


I'd just like to say, thank you for letting me make an ass out of myself in the
lab.  I have tears rolling down my cheeks and I can't stop laughing....WHAT A 
RIOT!!!!!!!!!!
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