From: johnl@pcx.ncd.com (John Light)
Newsgroups: pnw.general
Subject: Re: Wanted: Post election comments on Prop. 9
Date: 10 Nov 92 21:37:04 GMT
Article-I.D.: pcx.1992Nov10.213704.9318
Organization: Graphic Software Systems, Beaverton, OR

In article <1992Nov9.075940.749@eaglet.rain.com> rick@eaglet.rain.com (Rick Lindsley) writes:
>Clearly, dickwin@sequent.com and I do disagree on one very basic
>premise which would indicate to me we cannot probably arrive at a
>compromise that leaves us both feeling comfortable. He believes that
>homosexuals choose their lifestyle; I do not.

I believe Dick Winningstad is right, and the disagreement about this
question is at the heart of the controversy surrounding Measure 9.

Rick, what you and I can agree on is that homosexuals do not choose their
sexual orientation.  They do choose their lifestyle.

"Lifestyle" is a "pop" word that is looking for a real meaning.  While
it has no real meaning, it is laden with connotations.  For example,
have you ever heard of anyone refer to the "fundamentalist Christian
lifestyle"?  "Lifestyle" is assumed to be frivolous.  Just saying
"gay lifestyle" is an attack on gays, since it implies that there is
no substantial basis of their lives.

By implying that gays lives are frivolous, you can show videos of
extremely aberrant behavior (from S.F.), and people believe that is
a normal part of gay life.  You can write tracts about the North
American Man-Boy Love Association, and expect people to believe it
has something to do with the "gay lifestyle".

In the sense that Dick Winningstad used "lifestyle", we all choose our
lifestyles.  For instance, propelled in early adulthood with gonads that
make at least 50% of the opposite sex sexually attractive, most of us
choose to live lives of celebacy, monogamy, or promiscuity.  Interestingly,
only the latter is referred to as a "lifestyle".  We make choices that
affect how our lives turn out, and live with the consequences.

Gays and lesbians get an even broader choice, since they can choose
monogamy and promiscuity with either sex.  Don't laugh.  This is really
the choice, and all the choices are taken with unfortunate regularity.
Gay men and women regularly choose to suppress their natural urges and
live "conventional" lives.  The result of such choices is almost always
destructive, most often for partners and children who are not gay.  The
only people who see these results on a regular basis are mental health
professionals, who strongly opposed Measure 9.

The OCA's best evidence that the "gay lifestyle" is a choice is the
"ex-gay" movement.  Fundamentalist Christians are sponsoring "ex-gay"
ministries, in which they ostensibly convert gays to a "straight"
lifestyle.  This is a recent phenomenon, so little study has been
applied.  Limited studies and anecdotal evidence show that they are
marginally successful for the short period of time of the ministries.
Is it any surprise that some gays find it less oppressive to go against
their natural sexual orientation than to continue living with the
day-to-day oppression of living gay in today's society?  And the
undiscussed issue of bisexuality also affects the results.

So I believe Dick is right:  homosexuals choose their lifestyle, as do
we all.  I pity the ones who choose to live sado-masochistic ones on the
streets of San Francisco.  I applaud the vast majority who choose to live
quiet lives as our neighbors and coworkers.  I fear the ones who suppress
their sexuality in an attempt to evade the consequences of society's
displeasure.

The real question is: how is society best served?  I believe it is best
served by allowing all of us to honest in our choice of how we live our
lives.

John Light