From: yarnot@babbage.csus.edu (Jan Yarnot)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Happy New Year! (and Matthew-notes!)
Date: 28 Dec 92 02:33:17 GMT
Organization: Moi?

To recap for our new readers:  Matthew, my grandson, was born April 24, 1991

to my son Steve and daughter-in-law Glenna.  He was a "floppy baby" and thought
to have some rare syndrome and was only going to live a few days or weeks or
months.  Meanwhile, my Mother was in the hospital with her last illness. (do
you sense Stress?  Good.)

Glenna, because of the caesarian, spent a few extra days in one hospital, while
Matthew was in another in the neonatal unit.  The day she got out, we thought
it would be sensitive to let the new family be together at hospital 2, but G's
family thought this was the occasion for a big get-together there.  This 
translated as "Steve's parents don't care."  (I know, I know, typical inlaw
misunderstanding stuff, but it builds the foundation.)

Matthew did well, and was allowed home May 11 or 12.  On May 14, Steve's birth-
day, Glenna asked me up.  I played with the baby, and in an effort to compliment
G., said something that she misunderstood and took wrong.  I knew I'd stepped in
it when the temperature dropped 20 degrees.  Went off to visit my Mom... who 
died 2 days later.  When I called the kids to tell them, it was "don't read the
letter we sent."

So the funeral was May 21 and they all came over, but it was tense.  I gave
the letter back, but had a pretty good idea what it said: figured that Steve
had been given a second chance.  Which apparently rankled, because he sent
an update the following week, very hurtful, very childish.  I wasn't the first
in the family, nor the first in general, she cleaned out his friends completely.
Phone calls and letters followed.  I'm not going to pretend to be blameless
here, but it was true that everything I did was wrong.  Had we gone to the 
hospital that day, for instance, we'd have been interfering.  As it was, we
were unfeeling.  Etc.  My poor husband is trying to hold me together after my
mother's death, and trying to keep the lines open to a very stressed young
couple.  

The upshot is, the last time I saw Matthew was August 10, 1991.  My other 
children and my husband have been keeping the lines open, but I just couldn't
deal with it... and was getting no positive signs from either of the young
couple.

Christmas looked like maybe a crack.  The photo Christmas card of Matthew
(who is a lot better than forecast.  He has a brace, he can't sit or stand
alone, but he rolls everywhere, and he seems to be very bright) was taken
in the outfit we sent him.  When everyone else came for Christmas, they 
brought gifts, but hadn't time to go up (10 miles) to see the family,
so I got my nerve up today and called.  I said "don't forget, there are 
presents here with your name on them" and "I really would like to see
Matthew once this year."  To my surprise, G. let me talk to S. (this is to
*everyone's* surprise.  My daughter, who is planning a wedding next year,
wants to talk to Steve "without his manager" about being the DJ.)  And to
my *double* surprise, they came. (I haven't seen S&G since February when
my husband had his 50th.)

I was in love with Matthew 17 months ago, but now I'm probably in like,
since he's a stranger to me.  (I've lost my sublimation-job with the 
homeless kids, though, due to lack of funds.  I have had a lot of lovely
little people to love, and will miss them a lot.)  He understands what
is said to him.  He can wiggle one finger when you ask him how old he is,
he talks a little (mostly uh-HUH and UH-uh), plays "I drop, you pick up"
and "trade" and "here, take this imaginary goodie and tell me thanks",
grabbed the red tongue of a puppet with supersonic speed, and is
(of course) cute as the dickens.  (ask me about my grandchildren).

I got a minor zing in with Steve showing him my retirement cup (with a
picture of my homeless kiddies) because he didn't even know about that
job.  I don't think he knew about either of my surgeries this year,
either.  I'd accidently (well, not on *purpose*) done another on the
phone, when he asked how our Christmas was, and I said "great, everyone
was here."  (Actually, the most fun was gossipping about them.  Daughter
2 let slip that one time when she was up she saw that Glenna was drawing
horns and beards on us in the family picture.  That was good for a major
laugh.  I mean, that is so childish it's worth a belly-laugh!)

They're expecting again, in March.  This one might be a girl.  With luck,
it looks like I might get to see it once in a while.  G. doesn't want a 
girl, "I'm afraid she'd be like me."  Well, now... and I also think she's
earned a daughter-in-law just like herself, as well.  (But *I*m nice to my
ma-in-law!!  This isn't karma!)

Anyway, that was the highlight of 1992.  Happy new year to all!

--
---Jan Yarnot, net.grandma.-- | When you go out into the world,
			      | watch out for traffic, hold hands,
                              | and stick together.
CSUS depends on my every word.|             --Robert Fulghum    
Newsgroups: misc.kids