From: ssw5356@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Newsgroups: alt.support,alt.recovery
Subject: Re: ANGER!!!!!!!
Date: 18 Nov 92 16:19:40 GMT
Reply-To: ssw5356@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology

In article <1992Nov17.181707.22193@athena.cs.uga.edu>, heath@athena.cs.uga.edu (Terrance Heath) writes:
>
Terry:  I know you are going to gag when you read this...PRAY for her and for
an improvement in your relationship with her, as well as your other co-workers
and then turn it over to your higher power.  

I too have a problem with anger...the above was suggested to me and even though
someitmes the only thing I could pray for was that the @#$% @#&# &* @##$% (you
get the  picture?) would get what he/she/they deserved...things did improve
slowly.  At least I saw the humor in the situation, which kept me from
murdering the ungrateful so and so's.  Remember that the only person you can
change is yourself.

I know with me my anger comes out sideways.  Even though I think I as
concealing my contempt/dislike/distrust it shows in my actions and is picked up
by others.  Maybe you need to do an iventory on your attitude?  Good luck.
Silvia W.

>	Forgive me guys & gals, but I gotta vent for a second or two.
>I'm 4 months sober and still not quite used to dealing with everyday
>emotions this way. The main one I'm having trouble with is anger.
>	Anger, for me, can be focused on an individual or the whole of
>society, burns intensely, and can spring up at moments notice. I used
>to spend all my time being angry, so I'm still quite good at it.
>However, anger is something I used to drink over, as a means of
>helping to calm it fires. Now I'm dealing with it sober, and I'm not
>sure I'm dealing with it well. I know I can't afford to get angry, or
>at least to let myself stay angry, even if I'm right. (Hell,
>especially if I'm right!).  But I don't know what in the hell to do
>about it. I'd like for it to go away, to be able to send it somewhere
>else, but no one has been able to give me any magic words or any
>sure-fire methods of doing this (I know, I know. "Don't drink and go
>to meetings. And call your sponsor." But I need something to do in the
>moment as well, when anger strikes, and I don't have anywhere to go or
>anyone to call. That's how bad that particular emotion is with me.)
>	Today, it was an inividual. One of my supervisors at work,
>with whom I've had a personality difference from day-one. We just
>don't get along. However, most of the time I try to stay out of her
>way and just do what she tells me to do. But when I feels she's lit
>into me unfairly, I speak up about it. (I've always been like that,
>and I don't see it changing anytime soon.) I stand up for myself when
>I need to, but I try to do it in a polite way.	I think she's looking
>for a way to get rid of me (I'm already on probation for some errors
>I've made, but yesterday my REAL boss - the one who has the final say
>- told me that I have been improving.) So today, while I'm doing my
>job (stamping books) she comes up to me and says "There's no need to
>be so loud, Terrance. I know what you're doing." And walked off.
>	At first I said "Excuse me. What's wrong?", but she waved me
>off. Later, I asked her a second time "Was I doing something wrong?"
>and she waved me off again.  Finally, before I left, I cornered her
>in her office and asked  "Was I doing something wrong out there?",
>looking her straight in the eye.  She finally said "No, you weren't
>doing anything wrong. Forget about it."  And I left.
>	BUT I'M SO ANGRY I COULD CHEERFULLY CHOKE THE LIVING SHIT OUT
>OF THIS WOMAN!!!!!! AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT (I just got
>off of work, and I'm still shaking with anger).
>	What worries me is that this job is what stands between me and
>financial disaster right now, and I need to keep it. That's why  I've
>been watching myself and watching my work. Everyone else on the job
>thinks I'm pleasant to work with, except this one woman, and I don't
>know what to do about it. I can't change the way she feels about me,
>and I'm not about to brown-nose to her. But I need to keep this job,
>because I've tried finding another, and the pickens are very, VERY
>slim.
>	Anyway, me and my sponsor are going to have a long talk
>tonight, and I'll probably go to a meeting, just to feel as though I
>have some support.
>	But is there anyone out there who has some suggestions about
>how to deal with situations like that, and how to deal with anger? I
>need some advice.
>
>-- 
>"Black men loving black men is THE revolutionary act!"
>			-Joseph Beam_
>Terrance Heath 
>heath@athena.cs.uga.edu
Newsgroups: alt.support