From: STella@thelema.uucp (STella)
Newsgroups: rec.pets.cats
Subject: Should I get a second kitten
Date: 9 Sep 92 20:59:31 GMT
Organization: Idiosyncratic Anarchic Order

In article <37823@sdcc12.ucsd.edu> myers@cs.ucsd.edu (Margaret Myers) writes:
>jlc5f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Jean L. Cooper) writes:
>>Lizzie (now 17 years old) was NOT happy when Rapunzel came
>>to live with us. (This was at least 13 years ago.)  It took
>>a while, but Lizzie and Rapunzel got really close, and when
>>'Punz died last year, Lizzie wandered around looking for her
>>for weeks.  I think it just depends on the cat and how you
>>approach it.

That looking for weeks seems strange to me.  When Luna died, I brought
her body home long enough to show it to her daughter, her son, her
widowers, and the housemate-cats.  (Maxwell (one of the housemate
cats) looked as if he wanted to piss on her stiff.  He'd been the one
that attacked her as she got frailer and frailer.)  Most of the cats
took a sniff, looked disgusted, and went away.  Her daughter attempted
to ignore the whole issue completely -- refusing to look at IT -- then
went off to the echoest corner of the house, and used her Siamese
genes to sing a dirge that was like catclaws on stainless steel.

I'm convinced, though, that letting all the cats see that Luna wasn't
going to be coming back meant that they were less disturbed for less
time.  Kindofa drag driving up to the vet's, getting the carton, and
knowing that I had to get it back quick so it wouldn't be too rotted
for the autopsy, but knowing that life had taken a decision on Luna
seemed to calm the other cats, who'd been asking if we brought her
home every time we came in from the car.  (BTW, Fatty Liver Disease.
That was one of the most frustrating things I've ever failed at.
Forcefeeding a cat that looks at you as if you were clipping
electrodes to its soul and plugging it into your walkman, for the
heinous crime of squirting mixed babymeat and Nutrical down its
throat.  And the damn thing dies anyway, because you weren't clever
enough to see an electrolyte imbalance, and it's been four years and
I'm still pissed, so what else is new, and aside from that I really
like California, thanks.

(No, grief over a dead cat never ends, but it gets more intermittent,
and more mixed with the happy memories, of a cat that crawled up under
the blankets to lie on your body under the sheet because she knew
better than to walk on naked skin, but wanted to be as close to your
flesh as she could.  And jumbled with memories of another Siamese
queen who would ride on my shoulder and swear at people who got me
angry.  Monkeyface has been dead for 19 years.))

>How long did it take Lizzie to get use to Rapunzel? About 3 
>months ago I adopted Tinker, a 5 week old feisty tiger kitten. 
>Oliver (5 years old) STILL hisses and growls whenever he sees 
>Tinker. Its very stressful at home and I feel sorry for Oliver.
>I try to give him (Oliver) special attention but he is so
>upset he hisses and growls at *me* sometimes too. If I seperate
>the two (hard to do in my tiny one bedroom apartment), Oliver
>will calm down and be his old mellow self but when IT (Tinker)
>reappears he gets upset again...

Thinking back, when the cats KNOW that I have firmly decided I will
keep all of them, no matter what the problems, they settle down and
establish their accomodations.  As long as Oliver has some hope that
if he acts pissy enough, Tinker might get sent back, Oliver has a
motivation to create problems.  And as long as Tinker doesn't quite
feel that you've made him part of the family, he's got the
insecurities, and will try even harder to get together with Oliver,
pushing Ollie's limits even worse.

Vicious circle.  But if your attitude becomes "This is our house, and
I am no longer interested in your feline political campaigns", and you
stop rewarding Oliver with special attention when he gets distressed,
I think it likely that there'll still be some hissing and spitting,
that he'll not immediately be greatly pleased at his new little buddy
Tinker, but he'll realize that he can't manipulate you for extra
strokes when he gets upset at Oliver.  I'd probably maintain giving
him some private time, but when they are together and he gets upset,
I'd stop reinforcing it, rewarding him for being a surly old
catmudgeon.

Hope this helps, 'cause writing it got me through an hour when the
light through the computerroom window was just the quality of the
light the day I realized Luna wasn't going to make it.

Love 'em if you got 'em, inhale 'em if you smoke 'em.

STella@xanadu.com	1016 E. El Camino Real, #302, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
Newsgroups: rec.pets.cats