From: jthorpe1@cc.swarthmore.edu (jere7my tho?rpe)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars
Subject: Lucasfilm Pie filk
Date: 22 Jan 93 21:43:16 GMT
Followup-To: rec.arts.sf.starwars
Organization: Swarthmore College

This, I suppose, isn't technically the place for this, but I thought you
might like it anyway.  Try not to harp on the errors (i.e. I don't know
when Carrie Fisher married Paul Simon, I _do_ know Chewie and R2 played
chess before they even got to the remains of Alderaan, and I do know that
Boba Fett's ship was Slave One [that'll be a joke when you read it,
btw])--I tried to keep them to a minimum, but some things had to be
shuffled to fit in the scansion.  Anyway...here 'tis.


Lucasfilm* Pie
to the tune of Don McLeanUs RAmerican PieS
filked by jere7my tho?rpe

(slowly)	RA long, long time ago,S
Said the opUning titles
RIn a galaxy far far away...S
Lucas wrote part four of nine
About a young man in his prime
And whether to the Dark Side he would stray.
	Two droids who were named Artoo anU
	Threepio crashed on Tatooine.
	They had to find Kenobi
	In desert worse than Gobi.
I canUt remember if I cried
When Vader ordered fratricide,
But I know I was horrified
The day the Jawas died.

And Luke was singinU,
	RBye-bye Tcause this planetUs too dry.S
(speed up)		Drove his speeder to Mos Eisley to go join the Allies.
	And Obi-Wan, he chopped the arm off some guy,
	Saying RSoon, Luke, you will be a Jedi,
		Soon, Luke, you will be a Jedi.S

(rollicking)	They flew off to Alderaan
But when they got there it was goneQ
Nothing left but asteroids.
So Solo plotted a new course
While Luke learned how to use the force
And Chewie played some space chess with the droids.
	Oh, and while we heard John WilliamsU theme,
	The Death Star used a tractor beam.
	Ben went to shut it down
	So the others could leave town.
Luke was a lonely, teen-aged Jedi Knight,
With an X-wing fighter and a sword of light,
And he knew he had to join the fight
The day Kenobi died.

And we were singinU
	Bye-bye, itUs the Death StarUs demise.
	It was blown up by a rebel who was code-named Red Five.
	And Vader very nearly didnUt survive
	TCause Han picked a damn good time to arrive,
		He picked a damn good time to arrive.

Oh, on Hoth they built a rebel base,
Two decades after RLost in Space,S
So the fight could start again.
Luke got captured by a beast
Which saved him for the evening feast
TTil he used the Force to help him self-defend.
	Oh, and Han slit up his TauntaunUs hide
	So a Lukesicle could crawl inside.
	Then, alas and alack,
	The Empire struck back!
As the AT-ATs walked on through the snow
The rebels cried out RTallyho!S
But it was like the Alamo
The day LukeUs gunner died.

They were singinU,
	RBye-bye, let us deoccupy.
	If we stay here too much longer we will be vaporized.S
	And Luke flew off to meet with Yoda the Wise,
	SayinU RI must learn to be a Jedi,
		I must learn to be a Jedi.S

Boggy, foggy, full of little froggies,
Dagobah was damp and soggy,
But thatUs where Yoda had his home.
He was a wizened little gnome,
Two feet high when fully grown
But he taught Luke how to make the Force his own.
	Ah, but LukeUs friends were in trouble deep,
	With Threepio piled in a heap.
	Our heroes were betrayedQ
	Thrown in the stockade!
Oh, and by Darth Vader Luke was maimed,
Then he hung from a weathervane
And he learned VaderUs real name
The day Han Solo got frozen in a block of carbonite.

And they were singinU,
	RBye-bye, LandoUs town in the sky.S
	They left although they had a broken-down hyperdrive.
	And Boba Fett flew off with Han in Slave IQ
	TheyUd be gone Ttil RReturn of the Jedi,S
		Gone Ttil RReturn of the Jedi.S

Then, for three years, we were on our own
While Han played Indiana Jones
And Carrie married RhyminU Paul.
Sy Snootles sang for JabbaUs chums
Like Bib Fortuna and Salacious Crumb
While Solo hung around on JabbaUs wall.
	Oh, and after Leia got him down
	The Sarlacc waited underground.
	It swallowed Boba Fett.
	(The worst indigestion yet!)
And while Leia changed out of her bra,
Luke flew off to Dagobah
And he was there to hold his paw
The day that Yoda died.

He was singinU,
	RBye-bye to the little green guy.S
	He trained Vader and Kenobi and Luke to be Jedi.
	And now heUs gone to that big bog in the sky,
	Saying RLuke, there is another young Sky.....
		Luke there is another young Sky.....walk......errrrrgghhhhh.....S

(slowly)	Luke met a man named Palpatine,
An Emperor of beinU mean,
Who wanted Luke to be his heir.
Meanwhile, on the moon below,
Rebels struck a counterblow
With some assistance from some teddy bears.
	And in the sky, the spaceships blazed;
	The fighters fought, and the lasers lazed.
	The battle, it was heated;
	The Empire was defeated.
And the three Jedi admired mostQ
Yoda, Ben and VaderUs ghostQ
They all glowed blue and raised a toast
The day Darth Vader died.

And we were singinU,
	Bye-bye RReturn of the Jedi,S
	WeUll wait fifteen years for sequels as Binkley prophesied.
	And while we wait, weUll make do with RDeep Space Nine,S
	SinginU RMay the Force be with you and I,
		May the Force be with you and I.S

(faster)	Now weUre singinU,
	Bye-bye RReturn of the Jedi,S
	WeUll wait fifteen years for sequels as Binkley prophesied.
	And while we wait, weUll make do with RDeep Space Nine,S
	SinginU RMay the Force be with you and I.S
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