From: johnl@gss.com (John Light)
Subject: Re: The Anonymous Service: This Waiter Has A Fake Accent
Organization: Graphic Software Systems, Beaverton, OR
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 21:10:35 GMT

In article <13AUG92.16612869.0176@UNBVM1.CSD.UNB.CA> (RELKIE) writes:
>I had been under the impression that the anon-service was being shut
>down. I also felt that enough was known about the character of the admin
>that people would steer clear and bring themselves nonanon (or post
>through someone else). Perhaps I am being overcautious from the scars.

Some talk occurred about offering an alternate anon-service, but starting
and running one is not trivial.  None has appeared.

>If because I have tried to say, "look, I was screwed over by this person
>and I don't want it to happen to anyone else," I am no longer welcome on
>ASAR, if because the consensus is that I am too incendiary, then I shall
>recede and keep to myself. But this shouldn't have to be thecase. I love
>this newsgroup. I care deeply about the people on it, no matter what,
>and I don't like to see people get hurt.

That's how I took your letter.  You are certainly welcome on a.s.a.r.
I'm glad you're back.  Your postings have been a bit scatter-brained
recently, but heck! after what you've been through, mine would be too.

>Sally, anyone who does what was done to me should not be placed in a
>position of power and influence in such a group as this. The man needs
>serious therapy. I've seen his pattern. So 100 other posters may be
>left alone. What about the one naive soul who has no choice but to post
>anonymously, like me back in May and June, and who may end up another
>relkie? The emotional dependence, the double-parasite cycle, it's
>unhealthy and I am trying to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

My judgement in this matter is that no one else is in danger from the APS.
I respect the integrity (but not the judgement) of Bill Wells, and have
no reason to believe anything like what happened will happen again.

What you are missing, Darella, is that you are unique.  Your needs,
strengths and weaknesses matched Bill's problems exactly.  Bill is not
a predator: he simply was overwhelmed by a unique combination of a person,
an opportunity, and his own problems.

>I thought my original post concerning the issue was enough. I was going
>to leave it at that. Then I got some feedback: "someone might think that
>the so-called benefactor was someone else." I wasn't clear. I wanted to
>be clear on the identity without using a name. And if I went overboard,
>I went overboard and I'm sorry.

You responded reasonably given your unreasonable circumstances.  We shouldn't
blame you for what you said, and you shouldn't expect us to instantly
change direction.

>Forgive me for coming off as manipulative. That wasn't what I was
>tryingto do at all. I don't play games.

I didn't see you as manipulative.  I saw you as flailing.  And I don't
blame you for that.


Let me take this opportunity to repeat a litany.  While I have no concerns
about anyone using the Anonymous Posting Service for posting to a.s.a.r.,

	I STRONGLY RECOMMEND AGAINST ANYONE WHO HAS ANY DOUBTS POSTING
	ANONYMOUS E-MAIL ABOUT ISSUES RELATED TO SEXUAL ABUSE.

This has nothing to do with Bill Wells' APS.  I have considered several
scenarios in which anonymous e-mail can be used destructively.  I wish
Bill would discontinue his anonymous e-mail service because it implies
a level of sponsorship by a.s.a.r. that encourages its use.

Welcome back, Darella.

John Light
johnl@gss.com
Xref: sparky alt.sexual.abuse.recovery:5669 talk.rape:2251