From: barrett@astro.cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.games,comp.sys.amiga.advocacy
Subject: Re: looking for good strip poker
Date: 7 Jan 93 19:19:01 GMT
Reply-To: barrett@astro.cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett)
Followup-To: comp.sys.amiga.advocacy
Organization: BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED

In article <C0HuKA.DI0@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> shulick@cineret.ucs.indiana.edu (Sam Hulick) writes:
>...the best is BLAZEPOKER!  The girls actually come out of the monitor,
>before you even load the game.

	I should clarify Sam's statement here.  BLAZEPOKER is no mere "strip
poker" ("SP") game:  it goes FAR beyond all of the competition.

	First of all, BLAZEPOKER is NON-SEXIST.  We have pictures of players
of ALL KNOWN genders, colors, religions, species, HALLUCINATIONS, and JELLO
PREFERENCES.  We even have THE POPE in there.  Or maybe his SISTER.  I
forget.  Anyway, nobody can POSSIBLY be offended... not even total SCUMBAGS
such as the people reading this article.

	Second, unlike the other WIMPY SP games, BLAZEPOKER's graphics use
over EIGHT THOUSAND BITPLANES so you can see *every* little detail
imaginable...  and even some that AREN'T imaginable.  At least by you.

	Third, BLAZEPOKER's 128-bit DIGITIZED SOUND EFFECTS have NEVER been
equalled in ANY competing SP product.  You get moans, groans, phones, and
abalones!  (Look it up, you drooler.)  You get body FRICTION, science
FICTION, perfect DICTION, and Seagate STICTION!!  Yes, it's even BETTER
THAN THE REAL THING!

	Every time you win a game, the 134-piece Grand National Flugelhorn
Orchestra of Chickenmilk, Wisconsin plays "King of the Sleaze" in an amazing
OCTOPHONIC SOUND PANORAMA, while the man/woman/thing/whatever of your choice
casually, yet forcefully, removes another piece of armor...  uh... I mean
clothing.  And when you lose, gigantic mechanical arms BURST out of your
Amiga's outer casing, PIN YOU DOWN, and RIP off whatever scrap of cloth it
can GRAB FIRST.  (We recommend that you play BLAZEPOKER facing AWAY from the
computer.)

	Finally, BLAZEPOKER has the same BLINDING SPEED found in our flagship
product, BLAZEMONGER.  The images WHIP past your eyes so quickly that if you
blink, you'll miss several full games!!  In fact, it's so AMAZINGLY QUICK
that you can't even SEE ANYTHING!!  But you'll KNOW they're there, thanks to
the TRUST you have in BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED's AWESOME product line!  If
you have any problem with this, call "Customer Service", and they'll be
happy to turn on the gigantic mechanical arms again.

>:)  (Sorry, had to do it.)

	"Customer Service" will be right by.  Sorry, had to do it. :-)

                                                        Dan

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| Dan Barrett -- Dept of Computer Science, Lederle Graduate Research Center |
| University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA  01003  --  barrett@cs.umass.edu |
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Copyright 1993 by Daniel J. Barrett.  All rights reserved.
This article may be freely distributed as long as it is distributed in its
entirety.  It may not be included in any publication without the written
permission of the author.  So nyaaah.