HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith)
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Organization: Gagging Sloth Records
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 20:01:33 GMT

In article <l8if21INNr0u@news.bbn.com>, dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:

|> She was a sexual surrogate.  That meant sometimes having sex with men
|> who had sexual problems so she could teach them to overcome their 
|> difficulties.  They always had to deal with the occasional police
|> harrassment, but after the AIDS thing broke the AMA came down
|> on their butts and said that it wasn't ethical for a counselor to have
|> sex with a client no matter what the reason.

I'm fascinated by this. Did your friend have any problems keeping "detached"
from her clients?  Or more likely, did the clients ever become attached to
her?  It seems like this could be a very odd situation...we're talking about
men who already have problems in this area! Also, wasn't this kind of
hard on her own personal life? None of my business of course, but I am curious!

jds

***************************************************************************
                               * Health and knowledge and wealth and power,
Jeff Smith                     * Passion and poems and sex
smith@fl08-g.comm.mot.com      * I wear a smile like a leather glove,
                               * I won't shut my mouth for less.
                                                - shriekback
***************************************************************************
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Finding Romantic Partners (long)
Date: 21 Aug 92 20:45:31 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

>My point is this:  I don't see how acting is even necessary unless what
>is being conveyed isn't an accurate representation of what is actually
>felt/believed/whatever.

It is only necessary if you have difficulty expressing what you want to  
express in a way that your audience can understand. When it comes to
emotions, many people do have difficulty.

>I mean, someone doesn't look good just because they're *trying* to look
>good.  They look good because their appearance *actually appeals* to
>others 

I see the philosophical point you are trying to make, but my point was
something different. Some people respond to the effort you make to look
good as well as to the way you actually look to them. For example, I always
like the way my SO looks, but when he wears a red silk shirt and black
jeans instead of his usual t-shirt and shorts, he looks especially good to
me. Partly it is because I like red silk shirts and black jeans. Partly it
is because I know he thought about what to wear that day. 

So people do not just respond to what is in front of their eyes. They
respond to their interpretation of that. They respond to what they think
your intent was in looking that way.

>There may be some people that appreciate the effort more than the results.
>But the results are what is most visible, so I would expect that most
>people appreciate the results more than the effort.

People appreciate both. And if you don't already have the body of a Greek
god, then the effort can make even more of a difference.

>Oh, good!  I'll start dragging poor, unsuspecting women into my
>clutches immediately.  :-)

That's the spirit. :-)

--
Stef                        
stef@apple.com       Suppose there were no hypothetical questions?
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: greg@netcom.com (Greg Bullough)
Subject: Re: men dancing with men just because they're friends.
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 92 06:17:23 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <1992Aug15.165259.28982@panix.com> pw@panix.com (Paul Wallich) writes:
>
>If you decide you don't like the stigma and throw it away, will
>your dogma retrieve it for you?

No, your karma will grow to fill the gap.
 
Greg
From: pm3_norr@csd.brispoly.ac.uk (Paul Norris)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Boink Blues
Date: 13 Aug 92 12:41:54 GMT
Organization: Bristol Polytechnic, England

In article <1992Aug12.114823.2666@muppet.bt.co.uk> bart@muppet.bt.co.uk writes:
}>
}>Allisson - [I still don't have a job and don't know where I'm living -
}>	    suggestions welcome]

}Wellll now.
}
}Save up all your money and buy a ticket cross the Pond to the UK. 

Agreed!   You'd be very welcome (not that the job situation is any
better over here ):

} In particular why not make it 'happening' Ipswich in the heart of
}Constable country (orientation for all those art lovers :-)

But it's so flat!  Come over to the west coast - hills here, mountains not far
(and an awful lot of rain at the moment...)

Paul
-- 
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
                                            --  Charlie Brown
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry)
Subject: Re: Finding Romantic Partners (long)
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 04:58:17 GMT
Organization: QQQCLC

In article <194m+9=.shannah@netcom.com> shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller) writes:
>This is precisely why the ratios are (IMHO) bullshit.  They give a false
>sense of the dynamics.  
>
>Here's an example.  Say, at a party, there are 40 men and 2 women.
>Imagine, for a moment, that the women absolutely hate country music,
>western wear, and square dancing.  Say, for the sake of the example,
>39 of the men come in wearing cowboy boots, cowboy hats, western
>clothing, bolo ties, and bringing Merle Haggard and Charlie Pride
>music to listen to.  One man comes whose favorite group is REM, and
>one of the women loves REM.  This guy likes to wear jeans and polo
>shirts.  The woman thinks he's cute.  He talks about the latest 
>dessert creation he made, a chocolate rum cheesecake, and she is a
>chocolate lover.  Do you really think that if she dates this guy
>who likes REM that it reduces the chances of her dating one of the
>guys in the bolo tie?  Maybe in the world of statistics, but I'm
>trying to talk real life here.

	The ratio matters, Teri. You're analyzing your example from
the wrong end. The 39 guys in the cowboy boots would have their
odds improved considerably if there were 40 women there instead of
two, because the odds that at least _one_ of 'em will like Kevin's
boots and his conversation goes up enormously. Your female REM fan
can meet her match or go home alone, and never even consider dating
a boot; doesn't matter. More women are good for the boots.

	And try to imagine someone decoding that last sentence
I wrote with no context :-).

						Kayembee
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jjj@mits.mdata.fi (Joni Jarvenkyla)
Subject: Attack of the Amazon Girls!
Organization: Microdata Oy, Helsinki, Finland
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 18:12:33 GMT


I didn't know life was fun until I got raped by two strongly built young
beautiful amazon girls. After 2 hours combat I had to surrender, clothes
off, humiliated and tired, handcuffed and wrestled to minced meat. Can't
be safe even in my own home! Should have taken my mothers advice of not
to open the door for strangers.

But I didn't make it too easy for them - got the other one totally naked
and the other half way although I was handcuffed all the time.

Maybe they'll try with the power of three amazons next time, I'm only
waiting...and I though there was not much action on mondays.

It's just so strange - when I still was a single this never happened,
and now that I'm "tied down" I've started getting soo much attention.
This is only a question of morals, though...I favor a model of portable
and disconnectable moral ;-)

-- 
jjj@mits.mdata.fi     Thanks, Life; thanks, Death    And the other me:
jjj@niksula.hut.fi    for freeing me from self       Jenny L{rv{joki
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown)
Subject: Re: Various ramblings...
Organization: I can't see any in the immediate vicinity...
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 20:37:13 GMT

In article <Bt33pt.80p@acsu.buffalo.edu> swann@acsu.buffalo.edu (Stephen Swann) writes:
>In article <1992Aug15.224506.42573@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.IBM.com writes:

[Stories of how they got into dancing and discovered they liked it]

Different strokes for different folks.  I spent about 8 months learning
to dance, and I tried just about everything except ballroom dancing.

The dancing itself was reasonably fun, at least until I found that I
couldn't improve anymore (I approached the limits of what my conscious
mind could deal with simultaneously).

The strange thing is that in those 8 months, it never got any easier to
ask people to dance, and it never got any easier to meet people or to
talk to them.  And I went dancing at least 3 times a week.

Repeated exposure isn't enough.  Practice isn't enough.  If you don't
have the built-ins, you're *dead*.

>Steve Swann                 |    Speak to me in many voices; make
>swann@acsu.buffalo.edu      |      them all sound like one...  -BOC


-- 
				Kevin Brown

			    kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com
			    kevin@taronga.taronga.com
Xref: sparky soc.singles:22995 alt.romance:10871 soc.women:15485
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.romance,soc.women
Subject: Re: California Here I Come, Again (San Diego, to be exact)
Keywords: fun
Date: 19 Aug 92 22:30:48 GMT
Followup-To: soc.singles
Distribution: usa
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Aug18.224245.5672@cbfsb.cb.att.com> sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein) writes:
|Another business trip (solo), this time to sunny San Diego.  I
|was there for a week last year (Carlesbad, for a course).  Loved
|it.  Took my first helicopter ride and did some aerial photography.
|One of the most exciting things I ever did.  Blacks Beach was
|interesting.
 
Let me guess.  That's the clothing optional beach, right?

|I'm not sure yet exactly where in San Diego I will be.  I don't actually
|have to start work till Aug. 29-30, (maybe the night of the 28th). But,
|I will be arriving the afternoon of August 25th.  So lots of time to
|rest, enjoy the sites and some of the people.  Maybe a drive up P.C.H.
|
|So, if anyone has any good suggestions (I've already been to the zoo)
|or would like to socialize, hit the beach, and show this poor boy
|around, let me know.  Thanks.

Didn't you say you might be up this way as well in the near future?

-- 
+============================================================================++
| John Fereira            "Is that all you ever think about?"                |
| johnf@auspex.com                                                           |
+============================================================================++
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: capnal@aqua.whoi.edu (Al Duester)
Subject: Re: Finding Romantic Partners (long)
Organization: Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 92 15:00:41 GMT


shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller) and
kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) wrote:
 
 >>No, he didn't get lucky.  He had skills that enabled him to get the
 >>girl to date him.  Had he not arrived, she would have not dated any
 >>of the other men at the party.  How do I know?  I was the woman.
 > 
 >*laugh* Ya got 'im, Teri.  This point is yours.
 > 
 >>He talks about the latest dessert creation he made, a 
 >>chocolate rum cheesecake, and she is a chocolate lover.  
 >
 >Serious chocolate lovers do not mix their chocolate and their cheescake. 

 These are strong words from someone who has been arguing about what is
 or isn't pizza on rec.foods.cooking. Over there it's become apparent
 that Kiran would consider it pizza if you tossed a loaf of bread into
 the road, and then put flattened road kill on top of the flattened
 bread! 

 Any _serious_ chocolate lover wouldn't have cheesecake _without_
 chocolate. While I tend to not desecrate my "true" cheesecake with any
 sort of topping, I do make a chocolate orange cheesecake, called that
 because there's not really a better name for it! If it's good enough to
 make a woman look me in the eyes after one bite and say "You're a
 Domestic God!", then I don't care what it's called! You can argue
 semantics, I'll cook for the women.

 So, Teri, if you're interested in a recipe, let me know.

 And Kiran: 
 >will find many married people at contra dances... hmmm, one of my
 >favorite dancers hasn't been wearing her wedding ring recently.
 >Perhaps it's time to make some discreet inquiries.... Try it (dance,

 Perhaps she just had an experienced dancer explain to her that jewelry gets
 in the way of dancing. I've seen & danced with women who wanted to do 4-5
 twirls in a ladies' chain, but forgot to remove their watches or bracelets,
 and gotten caught on them. Rings with stones or edges can also lacerate if
 the woman is twirling in a finger/socket type hold.

 Try asking her if she was getting injured or causing injuries next time you
 dance with her.

 ========================================================================
 Al Duester, Ocean Engineer, MS S201   #  SPAN: 6308::capnal 
 Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution  #  INTERNET: capnal@aqua.whoi.edu
 Woods Hole, MA  02543                 #  (508) 457-2000 x2474
 .    "...How do we acquire *wisdom* along with all these shiny things?"
 .                                       - David Brin, *Earth* pg 657
 ========================================================================

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: probst@fraser.sfu.ca (Scott Probst)
Subject: Re: single men
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 19:13:30 GMT

In article <1992Aug18.172558.24764@mits.mdata.fi> jjj@mits.mdata.fi (Joni Jarvenkyla) writes:
>It's funny to know what especially cab drivers think about techno/rave
>clubs etc where people really dress up.
>
>And if you go to a club with your male friend both dressed up for a good
>evening, o-o-oo! Stinking faggots!
>
you know, this was something i noticed in the netherlands. i was in nijmegen,
a relatively red-union-gay town, walking around at night, dressed a little
"west coast", i guess (i live in vancouver), and the only people that
would talk to me were the streetwalkers. weird.

-- 
Scott Probst: Brain and Behaviour Laboratory, Psychology dept, SFU
              Graduate Issues Officer, Simon Fraser Student Society.
e-mail: probst@fraser.sfu.ca - ph: (604) 291 3354/3181 - fax: (604) 291 5843
              "yes, well, and here we go again..."   Dr H.S. Thompson
From: sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: California Here I Come, Again
         (San Diego, to be exact)
Summary: Things to do, people to meet!
Keywords: fun
Date: 19 Aug 92 18:00:24 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: AT&T

Another business trip (solo), this time to sunny San Diego.  I
was there for a week last year (Carlesbad, for a course).  Loved
it.  Took my first helicopter ride and did some aerial photography.
One of the most exciting things I ever did.  Blacks Beach was 
interesting.

I'm not sure exactly where in San Diego I will be.  I don't actually
have to start work till Aug. 29-30.  But, I will be arriving the
afternoon of Aug. 25th.  So lots of time to rest, enjoy the sites
and some of the people.  Maybe a drive up P.C.H.

So, if anyone has any good suggestions (I've already seen the zoo)
or would like to socialize, hit the beach, and show this soon to be
weary traveller around, I'd like to hear from you.  Thanks!

				steve
From: dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: 18 Aug 92 14:06:35 GMT
Reply-To: dhardin@spcink.bbn.com (Dawn Hardin)
Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman Inc., Cambridge MA
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com

In article <9709@kralizec.zeta.org.au> craig@kralizec.zeta.org.au (Craig Dewick) writes:
>
>I'm almost 24 years old, and I keep seeing my friends getting into serious
>relationships with the opposite sex but, possibly because of my upbringing and
>my responses to the way I've seen other people react, I cannot muster up the
>courage to approach women that I find attractive.

[stuff deleted to shorten]

>Can you recommend anything that might help?

Aack!  I never wanted to be net.counselor and I wouldn't be a good choice for
it even if I wanted to be.  Good lord, I've had such little real dating 
experience that it's really silly to think of people asking me for advice.
I'm half tempted to say:

1)  Get a sex change operation and date lesbians.

2)  Move to a farm.  The phrase "chasing tail" takes on new meaning.

But you were serious so I'll try to be.  What my friend the ex sex counselor
said it all boiled down to is you need to do something.  Anything.  She
thought dating services or personal ads were a good start for people who
had a horrible time learning how to start things.  If you see an ad from
a girl who wants to go out with someone, it might be easier to write her a
note saying hi, and then if she likes the note it's not so difficult to
make plans to do something.  So you go out 1-3 times and the next times
not so tough.  Eventually, you feel more comfortable with the situation and
you might meet someone in a more natural environment.  In a personal ad,
you know the girl put one in or responded to yours because she'd like a
date -- that takes a bit of pressure off right there.  

Dawn
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Exactly what I mean by "unattached"...
Date: 20 Aug 92 14:03:54 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

gds@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:

>I think you should not change "cultures" unless you are interested in
>doing the things that are done in that "culture".  If you aren't
>interested in faires, cons, etc., it won't matter if you are getting
>"subtle" sexual offers, or the like, because you'll be bored 

I get the impression that a good many people go to cons largely because of 
the open attitude about physical affection. Some of them end up getting
interested in other aspects of fandom later.

Stef
stef@apple.com
--
DEAR MISS MANNERS -- Is it proper for a gentleman to compliment a
lady on her tattoo?
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: anthropo@carina.unm.edu (Dominick V. Zurlo)
Subject: Re: BOINK! BOINK! BALLOONBOINK IN ALBUQUERQUE!
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 92 21:04:54 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <1992Aug17.194659.19377@asuvax.eas.asu.edu> ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes:
>swells@triton.unm.edu (Earth-daughter) writes:
>> and in new mexico, EVERY sunset is a beautiful sunset.
>
>     I'll vouch for that.  I'll even go so
>far as to say that they're almost as nice as
>Arizona sunsets.
>
>--Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
>                        {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
>                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
>                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu
WRONG!!!! I just got back from Phoenix on SAt. and I'll tell you, 
the sunsets were definately NOT as nice there.  Very pretty,
but lacking in the full colour spectrum of Albuquerque's.

Flapjack
"Yes, I'm bi - both top and bottom."
From: dennisp@kpc.com (Dennis Preston)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Boink Blues
Date: 15 Aug 92 20:58:35 GMT
Organization: Kubota Pacific Computer Inc, Santa Clara, CA

In article <1992Aug14.214619.17280@cbnews.cb.att.com> eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (eleanor.j.evans) writes:
>In article <1992Aug14.152600.8055@kpc.com> dennisp@kpc.com (Dennis Preston) writes:
>>I'm new to this group, but I live in Denver and I'd love to do a boink.
>>Preferably in Winter. dennisp@kpc.com
>
>
>Gee, if I lived in Denver, I'd prefer to do a bunk in the winter.
>Preferably to St. Thomas.
>
>Piglet!

**minor flame**, *no afterburners* Only CO.wimps leave when it gets cold.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson)
Subject: Re: Married Men and Single Women
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 92 20:51:53 GMT

In article <1992Aug12.165319.12098@cs.rose-hulman.edu> jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Jeff Davidson) writes:
>
>In article <1992Aug11.012002.21675@linus.mitre.org> wtr@mitre.org (Bill  
>Ralston) writes:
>*
>*I've got a slightly used wedding band for sale, if you're interested.
>*
>Hell, I'll GIVE you mine, if I haven't already thrown it away.

Wow, a net.proposal!  I'm not sure that's what Bill was looking
for, though....
-- 
  Dave Johnson

"You're not too smart, are you?  I like that in a man."
    --Kathleen Turner in Body Heat 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: rmcguir@hubcap.clemson.edu (Bryan McGuire)
Subject: Re: deformities and perve
Organization: Clemson University
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 1992 05:48:34 GMT

mike.mcaulay@spacebbs.com (Mike Mcaulay)  writes:

>This is another of those old-wife-spawned tales that appears to have a
>grain of truth to it.  You usually hear: "men fall in love with the
>women they find attractive, and women find attractive the men they fall
>in love with."  Well, you don't usually hear it EXACTLY like that, cuz

Weird stuff like that happens sometimes I guess, But I haven't seen it
in my lifetime.  Show me a woman who fell in love with a man who she
doesn't find attractive with whom she has a successful relationship,
and I'll eat crow right here over the net.  


>that's really ungainly and spangleswort.  But you get the point.  *IF*
>you were a purplish carbuncular pleonastic scintillance, you would, by
>default, grasp the grokkulescence of crepuscular tergiversational
>lucubrationism.  And then you would, hiccuping, gasp your assent to the
>stony-faced crowd of GrandDads.

>Anyway, assuming this to be true, it wouldn't be exactly HERE, but
>somewhere more, you know, decorous...

Sorry but I read on the 8th grade level...  I figure if I have to look
up more than one or two words I have no business reading it in the first
place.  "Grokkulescence?"    

-- 
I hate long taglines                    Take Care
From: matt@oddjob.uchicago.edu (Matt Crawford)
Subject: Re: BOINK! BOINK! BALLOONBOINK IN ALBUQUERQUE!
Organization: Bill & Ted University.  Founded 2425.
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 03:50:56 GMT

The oddest balloon I ever saw was shaped like a gigantic pair of
Levis, with the gondola hanging from one leg.

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: gds@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Subject: Re: Exactly what I mean by "unattached"...
Originator: gds@oahu.cs.ucla.edu
Reply-To: gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Organization: too funky
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 92 19:52:16 GMT

In article <1992Aug20.155943.11997@ucunix.san.uc.edu> cordelkj@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Kevin John Cordell) writes:
>In article <71433@apple.Apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>>I get the impression that a good many people go to cons largely because of 
>>the open attitude about physical affection. Some of them end up getting
>>interested in other aspects of fandom later.

I wonder if these same people would go to cons and faires if there
weren't an open attitude about physical affection.

>I have known a few people that go to these cons (sci-fi) and told me
>that the reason they do it to meet people, and hope that they score.
>Now I'm sure that's not the reason that all of them go, but this is
>what the people told me as to why they go.

I recall some people complaining about people they'd met at cons who
tried to pick them up.  Their complaint with these people was that the
only reason they showed up to cons was to pick people up.  I also
recall some people complaining about other con goers who assumed if
you showed up you were willing to engage in some physical or sexual
activity with them (without being asked).  For example, even if they
didn't know you, they'd walk up to you and give you a backrub, without
asking first if it was ok.

--gregbo
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.men,soc.women