From: simpson@bcrka333.bnr.ca (Scott Simpson)
Subject: Canada Information
Originator: simpson@bcrka333
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 07:19:32 GMT

This is in response to Jeanette McKay's request for Canada information.
I can't reach her via e-mail (damn thing keeps bouncing, no matter what
I try), so my only recourse is to post it.

I apologize for the bandwidth, I've tried to limit this to New Zealand
where J.M. would see this...

(hit 'n' to skip, unless you're in a snoopy mood...)

Jeanette,

I've tried thrice to send you this, but it keeps bouncing.

I see now that you have a pile of responses, and you probably
don't need another, but hey, I never was one for giving up...

I don't know if nz is a proper prefix to allow you to see this, but
we'll give it a shot, anyway...

----

Hey, Jeanette!

Well, as a guy who has lived in Canada my entire 24 years, and lived in all our
geographic regions for at least a couple of years each, and as a fellow CS Grad
bored to tears at 3:30A.M. while working like a dog for a project going down the
tubes regardless of what I do, I feel compelled to reply to your post and to
not have too many run-on sentences like this one.

First off, I don't know how likely it is that you'll be able to see all of the
country 'cuz, well, it's big (but you knew that, already).  Now, I'm really not
being condescending throughout this note; I have no idea what is common
knowledge of my little country down there, or how familiar you are with it.  So,
I figure I'll try to explain everything-- if I state the obvious, hey, just
let it slide...  In each city, I'll try to identify location (obviously, an 
atlas helps while reading this stuff), it's major attractions and it's sports 
teams (NHL - National Hockey League, CFL - Canadian Football League, CSL - 
Canadian Soccer League, MLB - Major League Baseball).  I'll list each province 
(going from the west->east) and note the capital cities in each with a '*', OK?  

OK.

British Columbia (Westernmost province)
================
*Victoria (southern tip of Vancouver Island in south-west B.C.)
   - The "prettiest" city you'll happen by on your journey.  Plenty of green,
     parks, flora, fauna, coast, etc.  Being on the southern tip of Vancouver
     Island, it's pretty mild all year-round.  Not very exciting after dark, but
     you can easily waste a few rolls of film during the day.  I also think they
     have the Commonwealth games next year here, too (or is that the year after?)
     Things to see: Parliament buildings/Inner Harbour, the breakwater, Beacon
     Hill Park, multitudes o' museums.  Sports teams: none, really.  I guess the

     Victoria Cougars hockey team, but they're minor league (IHL).  And of course,
     the real reason you should go here, is that Victoria *is* my birthplace.

Vancouver (the south-west corner of B.C.)
   - Another "pretty" city, but it has a happenin' night life once the sun goes
     down.  It's mild as well, although you can go 20 minutes north to Whistler
     mountain to ski after spending the day on the beach.  Whilst in Vancouver,
     things to see include Gastown (19th century "theme" place downtown), the
     Expo '86 site/B.C. Place stadium, the Pacific National Exhibition, Stanley
     Park, Whistler mountain.  Sports teams: Vancouver Canucks (NHL), B.C. Lions
     (CFL), Vancouver '86ers (CSL), Vancouver Canadians (*almost* MLB).  Pretty
     much any touring concerts, etc. go to Vancouver, and I might mention they
     have a *killer* symphony orchestra (the VSO, obviously).  It's the biggest
     city in the province, and is Canada's 4th largest.  And hey, in both
     Victoria and Vancouver there's a bar called "Fogg n' Suds" where you can
     sample beers from around the world (like, say, Steinlager if you get
     homesick).  Actually, Steinlager is available all over Canada at the beer
     stores (make sure you try Kokanee and Granville Island lager whilst in
     Vancouver!)

Okanagon Valley (interior B.C.)
   - This is where piles and piles of fruit are harvested each year.  It's
     awfully nice country to drive through in the spring.  And, at Lake Ogopogo,
     you can see the "world famous" Ogopogo monster (oooooh....)

Yukon and Northwest Territories (most northernly part of the country)
===============================
   - If you get a chance to go north for a couple of weeks, *go for it*
     (particularly in the summer ;->).  It's incredibly beautiful, wildlife
     everywhere...  Truly unspoiled country.  But, on the other hand, during
     the winter it can get up to -60 Celcius in the northern extremes.  Brrrr...
     No *real* attractions, except I guess the capitals Whitehorse (Yukon) and
     Yellowknife (NWT).  If you go far north enough in the NWT, you get to the
     North Pole (yes, it's Canadian!)  Go figure, no real sports teams.  Also,
     once in the north, the days last 6 months followed by 6 months of dark.
     Cool.

Alberta (east of B.C. [go figure, I *am* going west->east, after all...])
=======
Rocky Mountains (British Columbia/Alberta border)
   - The northern section of the "Great Divide" (the division between water
     flowing west to the Pacific, or east to the Atlantic).  Anyway, it's *very*
     picturesque during summer or winter.  In the winter, people ski, ski, ski
     at places like Lake Louise, Banff National Park, Jasper National Park,
     Sunshine Village, Fortress Mountain, etc.  There are a half-dozen glaciers
     in the mountains you can go climb, if'n you so desire (like the Dome and
     Kokanee glaciers...)  Millions camp in Banff during the summer...  Right
     around Golden, B.C. is where the cliffs are particularly high.

*Edmonton ("northern" Alberta [actually, it's about halfway up])
   - Home of the world's largest shopping centre (West Edmonton Mall).  Since
     you *have* to see a hockey game or two while here, might as well see my
     favourite team, the Edmonton Oilers.  They used to be the pinnacle of the
     NHL (I guess like the All Blacks), but now they sort of suck.  Oh well.
     It's an ugly city, and the only thing worth seeing is the Mall.  Sports
     teams: Edmonton Oilers (yay!) (NHL), Edmonton Eskimos (CFL), Edmonton
     Trappers (*almost* MLB)  And remember, there is no provincial tax on goods
     in Alberta, so you "only" have to pay 7% Goods and Services Tax on
     everything you buy (whereas all other provinces have a provincial tax + GST,
     so taxes in other provinces are around 15-20% (yikes!))

Calgary ("southern" Alberta)
   - Home of many cool things, but they make up for it by having the *HATED*
     Calgary Flames hockey team (boooo!).  If you're here in the summer, the
     Calgary Stampede is a big attraction.  This is cowboy town!  Things to
     see:  Princess Island Park, the Stampede, the Husky Tower and that's
     about it.  Sports teams: Calgary Flames (boooo!) (NHL), Calgary Stampeders
     (CFL).  It's also worth noting Banff National Park is a quick 1 1/2 hour
     drive west from here...

Red Deer (the geographic median between Edmonton and Calgary)
   - I only mention Red Deer (Dead Rear) because I was forced to live half my
     life here.  It's basically the piss break while driving between Edmonton
     and Calgary.  But, it is home to the world's largest free-standing
     mushroom-style water tower (I can tell you're impressed).  It also used
     to be home to the world's largest hockey stick.  Ooooooh, big deal.  And
     it's also home of Drummond Breweries, who make a pretty nifty draught beer.

Drumheller/Badlands (*real* southern Alberta)
   - This is an arid, almost vacant section of southern Alberta where there
     are skillions of dinasaur fossils and wierd shapes of rock called 
     "hoodoos"...  It's really cool, if you're into that kind of thing.

Saskatchewan (pure plains land east of Alberta)
============
*Saskatoon (mid-southern Saskatchewan)
   - There's really not a pile of stuff to see in Saskatchewan, unless mile
     after mile (oops, I mean kilometre after kilometre) of fields of wheat
     appeal to you.  Saskatchewan is very, *very*, *VERY* flat.  The typical
     joke about Saskatchewan is that you can stand on the Alberta/Saskatchewan
     border and see the Saskatchewan/Manitoba border, 'cus there's nothing to
     get in your way!  Ok, Ok, the curvature of the earth gets in the way, but
     that's picking nits.  Sports teams: Saskatchewan Rough Riders (CFL)
     [actually, they're in Regina, I guess, but if you won't tell I won't].
     Really, it is a nice place to go (the people are really friendly), but I
     haven't been to enough places to reccommend anything.

Turtle Lake/Turtleford (north-east Saskatchewan)
   - This is another one of those places you really don't want to go, but if
     I had to spend half of my summers in the middle of nowhere, someone else
     should have to suffer...  Besides, it's the home of the great Turtle Lake
     monster (I've seen it...  Yeah, that's it...)  It's also worth noting that
     a quick 20 minute jaunt south gets you to North Battleford, home of the
     world's largest Recreational Vehicle Car Lot.  All together now: "Ooooooh"

Manitoba (plains/some rocky places in the east)
========
*Winnipeg (south-central Manitoba)
   - Uh-oh... It's another province I (obviously) haven't spent enough time in.
     I've really only been to Flin Flon (in a word *don't*) and Winnipeg/Lake 
     Winnipeg.  It's a very scenic city in the fall.  The parliament buildings 
     here are very nice to see, as well.  Sports: Winnipeg Jets (NHL), Winnipeg 
     Blue Bombers (CFL)

Ontario ("heart" of Canada)
=======
*Toronto (south-central Ontario on the shore of Lake Ontario)
   - This is the self-proclaimed "centre of the universe" (or, at least that's
     how all Canadians describe Toronto and it's inhabitants, they have big egos,
     you see...).  This city is also commonly referred to as "America North".
     It's our 2nd largest city, and it offers *everything*.  All the big plays,
     operas, concerts, movies, sports, parks, etc., etc.  But it is nowhere
     *near* as good-looking as the cities on the west coast.  Things to see:
     Phantom of the Opera at the Pantages Theatre, SkyDome, Lake Ontario, Younge
     Street (where you can buy *anything* and also it has skillions of bars,
     etc.), the CN Tower, Canada's Wonderland (amusement park), etc., etc., etc.
     Sports teams: Toronto Maple Leafs (NHL), Toronto Blue Jays (MLB), Toronto
     Argonauts (CFL), etc.

**Ottawa (the Nation's Capital)
   - Now *here's* a city!  It is by far my fave amongst all I have been to
     and lived in.  I made my career decision based on which companies had
     offices in Ottawa.  It is the perfect size-- it's a "little big town".
     It has all the tradition and pagentry (the Peace Tower, Supreme Court,
     changing of the guards, museums, museums, museums), it's *very* clean,
     *VERY* picturesque, shopping, culture, a great symphony and on and on and
     on.  *YOUR TRIP TO CANADA IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT A TRIP TO OTTAWA*  Well,
     maybe "worthless" might be a touch harsh-- let's just say you should come
     here.  Sports teams:  Ottawa Senators (NHL) [next year is their first!],
     Ottawa Roughriders (CFL) [yes, the CFL has *two* teams called Rough Riders,
     but in Saskatchewan there's a space between "Rough" and "Riders", so it's a
     completely different name...]  Truly, Canada's greatest city (IMHO, of
     course...)  Oh yeah, Hull, Quebec is across the river form Ottawa, if you
     like contrasting cultures...

Northern Ontario (below Hudson's Bay/above the great lakes)
   - This is very *different* country from the rest of Canada.  It's extremely
     rocky and bold.  It's called the Great Canadian Shield (or the Laurentian
     Shield) and is nice to see if you're passing through.  Certainly, not
     something to go out of your way to see...)

Quebec (Canada's largest province)
======
Montreal (south-west Quebec)
   - Canada's largest city, it is remarkably similar to Toronto, except change
     Lake Ontario to the St. Laurence River.  It has everything, and it's
     a much nicer place to visit than Toronto, to boot.  It's very easy to
     get around in if you don't know French (pretty much the whole town speaks
     english, although all the signs are in French).  Sports:  Montreal
     Canadiens (yay!) (NHL), Montreal Expos (MLB).  See Old Montreal, Mount
     Royal, Ste. Catherine's street (shopping, shopping, shopping), Expo '67
     site...

*Quebec City (east-central Quebec)
   - Quebec City is a very traditional, tourist town.  Most of it is in the
     19th century style-- cobblestone roads, horse-drawn carriages, etc.  It's
     a great place to spend a weekend -> very romantic if you meet up with some
     stud-muffin.  Make sure to see "Old Quebec" (obviously), Chateau Frontenac,
     etc.

The Maritimes (collection of four provionces on the east coast)
=============
New Brunswick (just south-east of Quebec)
=============
*Fredericton
   - Another old touristy town, and yet another place I lived at for a few 
     years...  Great Victorian homes and atmospere.  It's a quick trip to Maine, 
     U.S.A. where there is some great shopping...

Nova Scotia
===========
*Halifax
   - Another one of my favourites.  It's a city of diversity; truly modern/
     classical type town.  The harbourfront is great, so are the bars, plenty
     of Canadian history-type stuff to see (attractions, etc.)

Prince Edward Island (just north of New Brunswick/Nova Scotia)
====================
*Charlettown
   - Being Canada's smallest province, there's really only one *city* here,
     and it's pretty lame.  Just to the north however, is Cavendish Beach
     (incidentally, the home of Anne in "Anne of Green Gables" is near here,
     too)

Newfoundland/Labrador (north-east of Quebec, north of Nova Scotia)
=====================
*St. John's
   - Canada's easternmost city, there's really nothing of note to see here that
     I know of, 'cuz it's the only place I've mentioned that I've never been to!
     But, the main industry here is fishing, and the government has just imposed
     a two-year moratorium on cod fishing in the region.  As a result, this
     province of the highest unemployment rate in the country will get even
     worse.  I can't imagine this would be a big stop on your journey...

Well, that's about it, really.  The places you really should see if you get a
chance are the west coast, the Rockies, Toronto/Ottawa, Montreal/Quebec City,
and Halifax, if you get the chance.  The rest would be nice if you have the
time, but remember-- we're the world's 2nd largest country!  It takes about
3 1/2 days of straight driving to go end-to-end if you drive 24hrs/day (trust
me, I've done it!).

I guess what you see will all depend on where you get posted to work.
Regardless of where it is though, there'll be something worth seeing near where
you are.

I should also point out a couple more things:

   - Airfare within Canada is ridiculous-- it can cost up to $1500 to go coast
     to coast (in economy class), although seat sales usually go at $600.  A
     train ride through the rockies from Calgary to Vancouver is absolutely
     exquisite, and quite romantic, I might add.  It only takes a day, to boot.

   - Winters are particularly harsh here (Did you know Ottawa is the coldest
     capital city in the world on average?), so the time of year you arrive will
     have a huge impact on what is worth seeing (another Canadian joke is that
     the seasons here are: eight months of winter and four months of bad
     sledding!)

   - 90% of the Canadian population lives within 2 hours of the U.S. border,
     and many cities like Seattle, Buffalo and Bangor are close from Canadian
     cities, if you want to pop over for a visit.

And just because I haven't babbled enough (are you asleep from boredom yet?
Thought so.  I have that effect on women), anyway, a friend of mine did a SWAP
to India for four months.  He ended up digging ditches in the ground for
bathrooms with a "pitiful spoon and bucket".  He came back with all sorts of
intestinal diseases and generally wasn't too happy with his experience.  Here's
hoping you don't suffer a similar fate!

Anyway, if you have any more questions (and Lord knows by now you should), I'm
always available to provide any answers you may need.  I am Canadian trivia/
knowledge man!  (At least, that's what my friends tell me).  I'd also be
interested to hear what other Canadians told you is a "must see", if it's not
too much bother.  I would imagine they'd give you more detailed information.
It's probably more accurate, too, 'cuz it *is* 4:30 in the morning and I'm
bonus tired-- there must be a couple of mistakes in there somewhere.

And hey, I'd like to stay, but that would keep me from going!

Sorry to waste so much of your time,

Scott
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Scott "Stop Calling Me Bart" Simpson | "Hmmm... [chocolate | barbequeue |    -
- CAD Operation Tools Development      |           donuts | potato(e) chips |  -
- Bell-Northern Research Ltd.          |           crumbled-up cookie things | -
- Ottawa, Ontario, Canada  [CRK 043]   |           beer | pancakes | boobies]."-
- simpson@bnr.ca       (613) 763-9243  |       - Homer, hero to men everywhere -
--->  In case it's not obvious, BNR and I may or may not share these views. <---