HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: daq@fc.hp.com (Doug Quarnstrom)
Subject: Re: testing tin
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 19:32:38 GMT
Organization: SPUGE
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.8 PL6]

Phillip E lujan (pel@maximo.enet.dec.com) wrote:
: 
: In article <C1DwGI.GnM@fc.hp.com>, daq@fc.hp.com (Doug Quarnstrom) writes:
: (Discussion between MARAUD and Doug deleted...)
: |>By the way, I am all for your poking fun at me.  I will poke back,
: |>and perhaps everyone will be able to see verbal dueling in good
: |>fun without committing the rhetorical murder of placing me or
: |>you in kill files.
: 
: "Ouch.  Yes, I deserved that, but I've already apologized several times...

Not to worry.  I was digging a bit at the other fellow who killed me.
I think that you actually had some justification at being irritated
with me.  I would have made a stronger attempt to deflect my
statement from the appearance of direct criticism had I realized
that it appeared that way.

But I have learned that it is almost impossible to avoid stepping on
toes unless you make your rhetoric extremely effete and 
given that I am not willing to compromise the thrust of my
prose, I merely try to smooth over the inevitable hurt feelings
as quickly as possible.  

It is a good thing for people to bear in mind that if I intend
harm or am really angry, I will make that clear in no uncertain terms.
If I do not, it is best to take a whimsical view of my writing and
to extract whatever amusement you can, while realizing that my
posts are frequently NOT without more substantive rhetorical content. 

You were magnanamous in your apology, and I accept fully, and I
merely ask you to understand that I do recognize the responsibility
to tread lightly on some subjects here.

If only you people could see some of the posts I decided NOT to
make public....

doug
From: narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re:  On This Day
Date: 22 Jan 1993 17:33:56 GMT
Organization: UH Dept of Math
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: casc.math.uh.edu

In article <carrot.046s@bear.stonemarche.org> carrot@bear.stonemarche.org (Little red-headed girl) writes:

[news article omitted]

>	<HUG!> Rachel shouts, jumping in.

Thanks, Ma'am! 

Take care and keep flying!




--
*******************************************************************           
* Noah Ramon - The Bi-Bulb     * Your only limitation is your own *
* Mail to : narxtc@math.uh.edu * imagination - Beans Barton       *
*******************************************************************
From: schweppe@bumetb.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: I AM SO BLOODY HAPPY I COULD PLOTZ
Date: 28 Jan 93 22:08:49 GMT
Reply-To: schweppe@bumetb.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe)
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Organization: Boston University

Slash Maraud plotzes:

[ and makes a big entrance, which unfortunately needs be bit-bucketed ]

|>simultaneously, in every language every written, including COBOL, a voice
|>says: 

"Hey, don't knock COBOL too hard - it pays my bills!"  Not that Merlinvin
is too terribly proud about being a sometime COBOL programmer, but "the
customer is always right", even when the customer isn't.

|><I REFUSE TO LURK ANY LONGER!  NO MORE SHALL I HIDE BEHIND RIE.
|>NOW, SLASH MARAUD IS FREE AT LAST!!!
|>BWAHHHH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAH!!!>
|>all those whose drinks were flung into the fire find them replaced
|>before them, with one difference.  all are now heavily spiked with 
|>the most delicious rum/tequila/scotch/lager/chocolate donut tasting
|>thing.  everyone, save Merlinvin, who is too powerful for me too affect
|>is now wearing a rose party hat with antlers and pictures of Bullwinkle.

Merlinvin feels a little left out - he's *retired*, remember? - but only
for a moment.  Then, while Slash shares the good news, Merlinvin sneaks up
behind him and swipes his party hat.  Taking it over to the VPM, he asks
for an identical one.  At first, the VPM refuses, not considering rose
party hats to be terribly edible.  Merlinvin's reply is "If you can't do
something as simple as a party hat, I'll eat *my* hat!" - the poor VPM
considers this statement, gets into a hopeless logical tangle, gives up and
creates another hat, which Merlinvin promptly plops on Slash's head,
pepperoni side down.

[ ... ]

|><I LOVE YOU ALL.  I WANT THE MOST MASSIVE DEATH HUG OF DOOM EVER SEEN 
|>IN CALLAHANS HISTORY.  I WANT TANAIS TO TURN BLUE, I WANT MAGDA TO GROW
|>A TAIL, I WANT KITTEN... WELL, THAT'S BETTER LEFT UNSAID, SHE IS MARRIED...
|>BUT THE POINT IS, I AM THE EPICENTER OF THE GREATEST HUG VACUUM KNOWN TO MAN.
|>I EVEN WANT DOUG IN ON THIS.  I AM SO BLOODY HAPPY I COULD PLOTZ!!!!!!!>

Nature abhorring a vacuum and all, Merlinvin joins the rapidly growing Giant
Group Hug and Bullwinkle Convention coalescing around Slash...

__________________________________________________________________________
Ed Schweppe o/k/a Merlinvin - schweppe@bumetb.bu.edu, schweppe@acs.bu.edu,
    (or for faster replies)   eschweppe%drcoa1.decnet@drcvax.af.mil
All standard disclaimers (also datclaimers and deotherclaimers) apply.
From: siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu (Karl Siewert)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Descriptions...
Date: 22 Jan 1993 22:32:55 -0600
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: matt.ksu.ksu.edu

lazuli@byron.u.washington.edu (Fred Sloniker) writes:

>All right, why not?  My name, for any of you who didn't notice my entrance,
>is Lawrence Lazuli R'kamos-- but just call me Laz.  In appearance, I am a
>four-foot-tall anthropomorphic squirrel, with white fur, solid electric blue
>eyeballs, and a big bushy tail (yet not so large as to be unmanageable).
>Right now, I'm wearing a blue T-shirt, black cords, blue-and-white tennies,
>and a blue scarf just given to me by a gypsy lady.  As for any other stuff,
>like birthday or favorite drink-- well, nobody's asked.

We WaNt To KnOw WhAt YoUr BiRtHdAy AnD fAvOrItE dRiNk ArE.

SiGnEd,
SLASH and Rie, only one of whom is...
-- 
/               James Riekar, barhopping yoyist, at your service              \
Impersonated at Fort Hays State by Karl G. Siewert, pretending to be at K-State
\                      address=siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu                       /
 \           Never underestimate the power of the truly eccentric.           /
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk (Mary Branscombe)
Subject: Re: Dan'l hits Australia
Reply-To: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 13:04:00 +0000


> TITLE: Re: Dan'l hits Australia

> siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu (Karl Siewert) writes:
> 
> >"As long as we're talking about sandwiches that disgust others, has anyone ever
> >tried peanut butter and pickle?  Chunky peanut butter, hamburger dill slices, 
> >and a little mustard and mayonnaise.  Best on a nice dark rye 

> Yup - nothing wrong with a peanut butter, cheese and pickle sandwich ... I
> have 'em regularly for lunch (disgusts the kids no end  :-) mind you,
> _they_ enjoy vegemite!)
> 
> Splash! (

Cosmic-minded sandwhich - I think you blame Robert A W Lowndes?

one one slice of bread, you put mustard, on the other mayonaise. On 
both you put some salad., cheese isn't in the recipe but I have used 
it here. Lots of roast beef, and on top of that chocolate - the rarer 
the roast beef, teh darker teh choclate you use. more roast beef. 
then you add hard crackers - Ritz, Tuc, whatever......

I've never put both the chocolate and the crackers in myself, but one 
day....
MerryTail
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| Organisation: Me? You're joking, right?   |maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk |
|                                           |                          |
|I know I type "teh" for "the" My fingers have their own accent ;-)    |
|                           OK, I just can't type ;-))                 |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: The Callahan's Cookbook is ready!
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 06:45:21 GMT

Danger Mouse makes an announcement:

"Hey folks! The project which has been chewing up small bits of my spare
time for the past couple of months is finally ready for release. This is
the first announcement of the availability of the Callahan's Cookbook.
With 17 contributors (so far) and 43 recipes (unless I've miscounted),
it should be enough to provide hours of cooking fun for everyone.
Selected highlights include Nicarra's fudge, the Grey Lady's potstickers,
two different pizzas, two different chilis, and _six_ recipes involving
chocolate!!

"I'm not exactly sure of the best way to distribute it, as it takes up
quite a bit of space. Nevertheless, I'm ready to give it a go, so anyone
who wants a copy can e-mail me for it. If you can read compressed and
uuencoded files, please say so, since that will cut some net traffic.

"At the moment, I only have an ASCII version, but I plan to format it
into LaTeX and have a pretty Postscript version before long. What's
more, this is only version 1.0! I'm still willing to accept new recipes
from anyone, especially newcomers, and make this an ongoing mission..."

DM braces himself for the flurry of requests.

- Danger Mouse.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: bonapart@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: John, Lazuli, and 'Poopsie'
Date: 24 Jan 93 07:12:33 -0500
Organization: Carnegie Mellon Computer Club



When Laz makes his way into the bar, John's standing on the opposite side
of a crowd from him, takling with Rowan.  However, she follows as Rowan
runs up to greet the newbie, and that's when she recognizes him.

"LAZ!"

John runs up to the squirrel, and enfolds him in a big hug as she
enthusiasticly smooches him.  "You silly squirrel, why didn't you tell
me you were coming?"

Laz manages to indicate that a) he didn't know Leona (a mud character)'s
player was here, and b) he could use more air.  John releases him.

"Gee, this'll be lots of fun."

Part of the wall dissapears as an Alien teleports in.  John watches
silently, and then turns to Laz.

"Gee, Lazuli, for a boyscout, you sure do keep interesting friends around."

-john, who plays this girl on Furry, but it's just this chick, you know?
bonapart@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu
From: narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: An early toast
Date: 27 Jan 93 05:26:12 GMT
Organization: UH Dept of Math
NNTP-Posting-Host: casc.math.uh.edu

Amanda (with ekho) writes :
> "I was only in eighth grade... there were TVs set up in the library,
> of 
>   course, showing the launch. I remember feeling somewhat solemn and 
>   overwhelmed (well, that's how i feel now, anyway) and knowing that
> i wasn't 
>   completely appreciating the tragedy. It was hard to know how to
> feel."

I first heard it during school, as well. Evidently, there were some TVs 
tuned to the launch, but no one I know saw the actual liftoff. In the middle
of class, a voice came over the loudspeaker and announced the tragedy. I 
honestly had no idea how to react. We had been going so long, with a success
rate so high, that I shudder to think what Mr. Probability had to say when 
he glanced in its direction. We had no idea that something like this could 
happen again, not since the Grissom-White-Chaffee mission.

To this day, I STILL don't know what to feel, other than loss.

(the bulb sets his empty bottle down in the fireplace.)


--
*******************************************************************           
* Noah Ramon - The Bi-Bulb     * Your only limitation is your own *
* Mail to : narxtc@math.uh.edu * imagination - Beans Barton       *
*******************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: yho@bmerh99e.bnr.ca (Yue-shun Ho)
Subject: Re: Happy Chinese New Year!!!
Reply-To: yho@utcs.utoronto.ca
Organization: Somewhere around Toronto
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 93 20:39:03 GMT

In article <C1D7LC.5pK@news.cso.uiuc.edu> trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski) writes:
>
>kitten says "cockadoodle-doo!!!!!" and throws a handful of confetti at C+
>

"What what?  kitten, you say what?"  yue-shun is scratching his head.
From: siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu (Karl Siewert)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: testing tin
Date: 25 Jan 1993 10:43:51 -0600
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: matt.ksu.ksu.edu

pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan) writes:

>"Thanks, everyone, for putting up with me when I was such an utter ass.  Mike,
>drinks all around, put them on my tab...  I'll have a Guinness.  I need some-
>thing bitter to drink as penance (fortunately for me, I like Guinness...)"

Nothing to put up with.  Perfectly understendable reaction.  Probably would 
have done the same myself.  Forgiven.  Forgotten.  

>"Oh, and this is one time my procrastination paid off.  I hadn't gotten around
>to killing Doug's posts yet... now I don't have to!"

See, folx?  Procrastination is a GOOD thing....

Rie

(I know I'm only supposed to respond to direct posts, but I'm part of "every-
one," so it's kind of indirectly direct.  Anyway, Slash already replied to 
this, so there.)  :-P

-- 
/               James Riekar, barhopping yoyist, at your service              \
Impersonated at Fort Hays State by Karl G. Siewert, pretending to be at K-State
\                      address=siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu                       /
 \           Never underestimate the power of the truly eccentric.           /
From: narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: testing tin
Date: 22 Jan 1993 04:50:48 GMT
Organization: UH Dept of Math
NNTP-Posting-Host: casc.math.uh.edu

In article <C17qpJ.Jox@fc.hp.com> daq@fc.hp.com (Doug Quarnstrom) writes:
[tin gallon hat full of puns deleted]
>
>The next person that puns in response to this post is a dead man,
>unless, of course, it is a woman, in which case the appropraite
>gender substitution can be made.

Gee, I think I see Garcia and Weir tuning up in the corner... (well, you
did say DEAD, man...)

ObGratefulDeadjoke : How many Deadheads does it take to change that darn
lightbulb?

25,000. One to change it, and 24,999 to follow the old one around!

--
*******************************************************************           
* Noah Ramon - The Bi-Bulb     * Your only limitation is your own *
* Mail to : narxtc@math.uh.edu * imagination - Beans Barton       *
*******************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: hollombe@polymath.tti.com (The Polymath)
Subject: Re: Culinary Peculiarity (was Re: Dan'l hits Australia)
Organization: The Cat Factory
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 04:06:29 GMT

In article <1993Jan21.153705.4194@e2big.mko.dec.com> pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan) writes:

}"I agree entirely.  The only way I like avacado is diced with tomatoes, a bit
}of onion and a touch of lemon juice and cilantro (yes, that *is* guacamole
}I'm talking about...)  Other than that, forget it!"

"The only way I like avocado is hanging on a tree, preferably in someone
else's garden.  Avocado is one of the few evil fruits (coconut is the only
other one I can think of) that contain unhealthful amounts of fat.

"Unfortunately, here on the left coast they insist on putting it in or on
just about everything.  Blech."

The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, M.A., CDP, aka: hollombe@polymath.tti.com)
Head Robot Wrangler at Citicorp                "If you can't stand solitude,
3100 Ocean Park Blvd.   (310) 450-9111, x2483  perhaps others find you boring
Santa Monica, CA  90405                        as well."  -- Mark Twain
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk (Alan Ralph)
Subject: Re: Announcement!
Reply-To: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Distribution: world
X-Mailer: cppnews $Revision: 1.30 $
Organization: Chez MonTemplar, Redunser
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 22:59:48 +0000

In article <1993Jan25.060003.10245@ra.msstate.edu> jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce) writes:
>Bi-bulb writes:
>>Gee, so there went Games Workshop, I guess (no Blood Bowl for Andrew (-:)
>>
>>Sounds like a good life to me... At least that's what _I_ aspire to...
>>(said by a "Proud" owner of a Zocchihedron - the 100 sided die...)
>
>   "Hmm. Zocchi's Gamescience is about 5 miles east of me. He is a rather
> obtuse person. I have met him. Not certain which universe he's from.
> Myself, I wrote a ZX-81 BASIC program that rolls dice from 1-1 million
> sides in 1 side increments, and allows the user to do adds for all
> dice, and/or adds for each die... I might even have a printout
> somewhere as my Sinclair ZX-81 bit the dust several years ago. I re-wrote
> the program in Amiga BASIC. It shouldn't be too hard to implement in
> Pascal, as I used a minimum of goto's in the BASIC program... " DJ.

MonTemplar perks up at the mention of his all-time fave heat pad/door stop.
"Hey, DJ, was that one of those Timex converted jobbies that got made in the
US, or did you get Uncle Clive's original and hack it?"

MonTemplar remembers back to a long long time, when programming was a REAL
challenge, as fellow Rampack-wobblers will attest! :-)

--
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Alan Ralph, 98 Gammons Lane, Watford, Herts. WD2 5HY   Tel. (0923) 230097 |
| Internet: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk    CIX: aralph   CI$: 100025,1551 |
|  Alias: Kimberley MonTemplar Esq., sometime regular in alt.callahans :-)  |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Brought to you c/o Demon Internet Services - FULL access to the Internet  |
| for just UKP 10 + VAT a month. Email internet@demon.co.uk for more info.  |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| *********** My .sig , my site, my opinions. So now you know. ************ |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: And now, for something completely different.
Date: 21 Jan 1993 17:17:37 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: phakt.usc.edu

>(Appearance of large, acid dripping alien deleted for... well, you know why)

The Scribe saunters over to Laz and the Alien, grinning.  From an inner pocket,
he produces a large, multicolored square of silk, which he drapes over what
passes for the Alien's colors.  The effect is strikingly absurd; the creature's
stance, combined with the shawl-like way the silk is draped, make it look
vaguely like someone's dear old granny...of course, if the someone, is a
nine-foot tall acid-dripping alien.  Cackling at the incongruity, Scribe
spends some time indulging his mirth (hey, he has a warped sense of humor)
and says, "Hi!  Welcome to the Place.  I can guarantee Ripley's not here, or
any of the Colonial Marines, so you've nothing to fear.  Can I buy you a
drink?  Zaldusian swamp acid perhaps?"

			tittering maniacally,
			the Scribe
-- 
Your fingers weave quick minarets      |"They robbed from the rich...and gave
Speak in secret alphabets	       |to the CRIMINALLY INSANE!" -- R&S
I light another cigarette	       |Legalize the weed NOW! CANORML
Learn to forget...                     |email: pechever@usc.edu (changing soon)
From: chuahl@ocf.berkeley.edu (Chua HakLien)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Descriptions...
Date: 25 Jan 93 13:57:36 GMT
Organization: U. C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
NNTP-Posting-Host: bigbang.berkeley.edu


"Ok, my turn. Well, i'm a giant cockroach who likes to keep clean.
( Untidiness was nurtured, not natured.. =) ). I'm about 5'8", and
140 lbs. ( Gasp! ) I have interests in a whole bunch of things;
literature ( Kafka, Oates, and I try to read the Booker Prize winner
every year.. ), sf, baking ( cheesecakes and brownies.. ahhh!!! ),
RPG's, mythology and folklore, programming, teddy bears, basketball,
rockclimbing, hiking, biking and I'm now taking a course in sailing.
( No, havent' sunk anything yet.. ) And traveling as well.."    

"My favourite drink is brown cow: Kahlua + Milk and ice, but I don't
really like to imbibe. I am constantly in search of good dim sum and
the ultimate chocolate fudge brownie....

"Well, that about clears it. As you can tell, I'm at Berkeley; gathering
point of a thousand clutures, and despite fee hikes and a devilish
administration spawned from Moloch, I pretty much enjoy being here...."

C
+
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: daq@fc.hp.com (Doug Quarnstrom)
Subject: Re: Decapitalization?
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 16:07:00 GMT
Organization: SPUGE
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.8 PL6]

Speaker-to-Minerals (lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU) wrote:
: In article <122420192@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM>, daq@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom) writes:
: >Communist?  Marx was a man who elevated one or two good ideas to
: >the level of ideological truth by ignoring a great deal of reality.
: 
: Actually, Karl Marx paid quite a bit of attention to reality.  Unfortunately,
: he lived in a time of transition, and thus his observations were soon out of
: date.  He *DID*, however, correctly predict, that both the United States and
: England would become communist countries without revolutions.  If you compare
:his definition of communism with the way things work in both of these countries
: today, you'll have to admit that he was correct.

Anyone who attempts to suggest that Marx was not a bloody clever man
who was observing some basic truths about the working class at
the time he was alive is mistaken.  But Marx did not appreciate
the adaptability of capitalism and the ability of socialism to
attain betterment of the workers through possibilism and 
working within the system.

I am curious as to where he predicted that the US and England would
become "communist" without revelution.  I am unaware of this entirely.
It is certainly true that Europe and America are VERY socialist
at this point in time, but even they are a far cry from the
workers state the Marx envisioned.  And it is a good thing too, as
Marx's workers paradise is a Utopian impossibility.

doug
From: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Oi!
Date: 25 Jan 93 14:17:42 GMT
Reply-To: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation


In article <C19z7n.D3t@fc.hp.com>, daq@fc.hp.com (Doug Quarnstrom) writes:
(Deletion for some reason I can't quite remember...)
|>As for a disquisition on my physical appearance, I will consider
|>granting your request should I have the time to give the 
|>subject its due stylistic attention and if I decide to admit
|>to my existence in general.

"Aha!  Doug, you reveal yourself.  It's true, folks; sarcastic cynics don't
really exist!"

Starknight sips his Guinness...

Starknight
spr@abo.dec.com
Disclaimer:  Huh?  What'd I say?