From: glambert@pyramid.com (George Lambert)
Newsgroups: rec.music.gdead
Subject: Steve's Dinner Table (was GLambert's Playground)
Date: 9 Oct 92 02:08:06 GMT
Followup-To: alt.stupid.neil.jokes
Organization: Pyramid Technology

In article <1992Oct8.181810.3433@uvaarpa.Virginia.EDU> sjeck@isi.com writes:
>
>yeah, but what if, you want to play Bocci Ball and the
>other kids think you are a fag or something and they
>kick your ass?  (DiamondBack analogy)

Or what if you give that "black sheep" of the family one last try at joining
the family for Thanksgiving, he comes over, shoots up, drinks a pint of 
rotgut in one gulp. barfs all over the dinner table, and then walks over
to the phone, places a long distance conference call to his other addlepated
friends, and on his way to passing out, giggles into the phone "I did it
again...next year I'll PISS all over the dinner table!"  (boorish, loutish
DiamondBack analogy).
>
>or what if, you want to play Dominos and the Playground
>Supervisor doesn't think that game is educational enough,
>so he won't let you set up on an unused Chess table? 
>(Censorship analogy)

Nobody's censoring anybody here.  If you want to post stupid "jokes", others
have the freedom to inform you of how stupid you seem.  That bad ol' 
freedom...it's a two-way street.
>
>or what if, you want to play golf and the Playground isn't
>big enough to accomodate you and the other kids? (Bandwidth analogy)

You go to the golf course.  Metaphorically speaking, we have some golf courses
where you can play all day:  rec.humor, rec.humor.funny (might be
inappropriate), and rec.music.misc.  Alt groups are easy to create when you're
kicked off those courses.  If you think you've been flamed, try taking the
"jokes" over to, say, talk.politics.guns or sci.aerospace.  Remember that
asbestos is carcinogenic, though.
>
>What if, you don't want to play any games, but just want to
>sit on the sidelines watching the other kids play? (Lurker analogy)

No problem.
>
>What if, you want to play football somedays, softball other days,
>and every now and then you like to play Bocci Ball and the 
>Playground Supervisors put you in a gas chamber for it?
>(Ethnic purity [Nazi] analogy)

Sieg Heil, mein Stefuehrer.  Bring your Brown shirts in and force the Dead
newsgroup to read "Mein Diamondback's Kampf".  It's the true way. 
>
>---------------
>If there are too many messages for you to read, 
>{gasp} DELETE THEM!

If you have to post, (gasp) put it in the appropriate newsgroup.
>
>If you don't like the way it is going after you started reading it,
>{gasp} SKIP THE REST!

If you put it in the right newsgroup, you'll get all the attention you crave!
(gasp) People reading that newsgroup may cry out for more!
>
>If you know the Subject is something you don't want to read, 
>{gasp} SKIP THE ENTIRE MESSAGE!

If you know the subject is inappropriate and not too welcome, (gasp), post
it to the correct newsgroup!
>
>
>Since most of you ReadNews people have me in your Kill Files already,

Gee, I wonder why.

>I'd like to thank those of you on Dead-Flames who were openminded
>and curious enough to read this far.  And remember:
>
>NEIL DIAMOND IS GOD!!!
>
Indeed.  Sieg Heil.  Have a nice Thanksgiving.

And for those of you who made it this far and wonder why I don't jump on the
political discussion threads in gdead, it's easy:  That's interesting stuff,
and the band has been taking up a number of political and environmental
causes over the last few years.  There is some relevancy.

The ND stuff is simply boring.  Very simple, and very boring.

Sorry about the flamage (honest, I tried to be nice and gentle yesterday);
this was a little too much.  I'm outta here for a while.  Followups have been
appropriately directed.

George Lambert

"Goin' where the wind don't blow so strange."
Newsgroups: rec.music.gdead