HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: shag@aero.org (Robert M. Unverzagt)
Subject: Re: idiomatically speaking... (Was: Re: other fun mistranslations)
Organization: The Aerospace Corporation, El Segundo, CA
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 14:26:56 GMT

In article <1992Apr8.203628.1508@aus.intel.com> robin@aus.intel.com (robin rosenbaum) writes:
> When, where, and how did this one get started:
> 
>      "If my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a locomotive!"
> 
> (Meaning, Don't waste your time in should-have's and if-only's.)
> 

A guy here at work has a million of these, like:

	If your aunt had balls, she'd be your uncle.
	If you had a square asshole, you could shit bricks.
etc.

To answer your question: dunno.

Shag

-- 
                          |
      Rob Unverzagt       |     Hey you, Whitehouse,
 shag@aerospace.aero.org  |     Ha ha, charade you are.
                          |                             -- The Pink Floyd
From: salantel@dssv01.crd.ge.com (E. L. Salant)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Peeling labels off beer
Date: 7 Apr 92 15:54:38 GMT
Reply-To: salantel@wsqtb9.crd.ge.com
Organization: GE Corporate R&D Center

>Here's a legend I haven't seen discussed before (although I haven't checked
>with the afu cabal):
>If you can peel the label off a beer bottle without tearing it, this shows
>you're a virgin.

>Has anyone else heard this or is it a localized legend (Toronto)?

I heard this too while I was in school at McGill, in Montreal.  Maybe it is
a Canadian legend.

==============================================================================
Eliot (I bet Maggie T. couldn't) Salant

==============================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: We are not amused.
Keywords: Say anything here they never check eat all day for free
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 18:48:28 GMT

In article <kurfpfINNhti@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden) writes:
>Peter "don't get me started on Q. Victoria stories!" vdL.

I heard the reason that Great Britain has no laws on the books against
lesbianism is because Queen Victoria refused to believe such a thing
existed when the Parliament passed its anti-sodomy laws, and the
appropriate provisions had to be struck from the bill.

-- Ted "Or was the Q for Quincy?" Frank
-- 
Ted Frank          + "Question whether attorney's filing claim for 'stud fee'
1307 E 60 St, #109 +  as countersuit to paternity action was improperly
U o' C Law Skool   +  motivated required remand."  Headnote 9, Committee on
Chi, IL 60637      +  Legal Ethics of WVa State Bar v Douglas, 370 SE2d 325.
From: Jay.Ashworth@f160.n3603.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Jay Ashworth)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: IMPORTANT PROCLAMATION: THE FUTURE OF THE NET
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 92 14:33:00 EDT
Organization: FidoNet node 1:3603/160 - Hacker's Haven, Clearwater FL

In a msg of <Friday April 10 1992>, tjw@vm2.cis.pitt.edu wrote to All:

 tcpe> However, Craig Shergold told me that he would do this for only "two
 tcpe> fifty" and the price of a post card with your credit card number
 tcpe> written on it.

 tcpe> For discount NEW newsgroups send your postcards to:
 tcpe>         Craig "only two fifty" Shergold
 tcpe>         C/O Make a Wish
 tcpe>         Pittsburgh, PA 15222-2222
 tcpe> Terry "There Can Be Only One" Wood

Um, Terry?  When you do this kinda stuff, make sure that you use a real address, so we can sell the addresses of the people stupid enough to mail stuff in to the telemarketers...

Cheers,
-- jra

--  
Internet: Jay.Ashworth@f160.n3603.z1.FIDONET.ORG
UUCP: ...!uunet!ndcc!tct!psycho!160!Jay.Ashworth
Note:psycho is a free gateway between Usenet & Fidonet. For info write to
     root@psycho.fidonet.org.
From: smb@ulysses.att.com (Steven Bellovin)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: D-Day plans revealed in a crossword puzzle
Keywords: how about them 49r's
Date: 13 Apr 92 15:14:49 GMT

In article <kuhl2hINNdpt@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>, linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden) writes:
....
> The appearance of "OVERLORD" convinced the invasion planners that security
> had been breached.  Scotland Yard detectives questioned the puzzle compiler,
> Leonard Dawe.  Dawe was a physics teacher who compiled crosswords as a 
> hobby.  He was completely at a loss to understand why he had been arrested
> and was being interrogated.  Eventually the Yard drew the conclusion that
> it was all an amazing coincidence, and Dawe was released.

I seem to recall reading comparatively recently that there was, in fact,
a leak.  As I heard the story, someone he knew was, in fact, privy to
some of the codewords.

Of course, I don't remember where I read it, or when; it might even have
been on the net.  If I should stumble on it again, I'll be sure to post...
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Captain Crunch and th
Date: 14 Apr 92 08:57:21 GMT
Reply-To: warren@nysernet.org
Organization: Mail to News Gateway

In <1992Apr12.095924.11466@rose.uucp> david.lloyd-jones@rose.uucp (david lloyd-jones) writes:

>Genuine urban legend: Bell has sent somebody around to all the
>University libraries and cut out the article from that issue of the Bell
>Technical Journal.

I've heard this one, too, from someone who offered me a xerox of the
article, telling me that I would not find it in any library.  I don't
recall if it was the article, or the entire issue that had been sent
to the same place as the article on Beria from the Soviet
Encyclopedia.

This guy claimed to have copied the article in another country, where
presumably Bell could not get them to destroy the issue or article.
The article does in fact describe the long distance switching system
and does contain those frequencies.

Has anyone ever looked for the issue?  At the time I heard the story I
was at a university that did not have the BSTJ, and never thought of
looking for it when I was.

Warren "of course I did not make a copy for myself" Burstein
-- 
/|/-\/-\          The entire kitchen is		Jerusalem
 |__/__/_/        still full of strange hamantaschen
 |warren@         And the custodian
/ nysernet.org    is starting to get worried.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: mpeter@OAVAX.CSUCHICO.EDU (Margot Peter)
Subject: Re: What Pepsi Means in C
Reply-To: mpeter@OAVAX.CSUCHICO.EDU
Organization: California State University, Chico
Date: Thu, 09 Apr 1992 19:42:08 GMT

In article <1992Apr09.144658.1332@rose.uucp>, david.lloyd-jones@rose.uucp (david lloyd-jones
>
>I've been instructed by the Usenet Moderators' Committee to tell you our
>usage.   When you post messages like this you are supposed to use a
>":-)" symbol.  This is called a "smiley."
 ^^^^^
>                                                  -dlj.

Hey! I thought these were frowned upon in a.f.u. "|-{" And this is a frowney.


Margot                 "I had to sink my yacht to make the guests go home."
                                      F. Scott Fitzgerald
From: brad@optilink.UUCP (Brad Yearwood)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Non-Alcoholic Drinks Folklore
Date: 13 Apr 92 04:13:18 GMT
Organization: Optilink Corporation, Petaluma, CA

In article <1992Apr8.130510.12238@cs.bham.ac.uk>, idf@mr-macgregor.cs.bham.ac.uk (Ian Fitchet) writes:
> 
> 	Relating to the second, does boiling water `scald' and hence
> ruin the taste of instant coffee (granules)?  ...
>
>   If you have any comments on these or any other UF relating to
> drinks then please pass them on.

With pleasure.

It is impossible for boiling water to further ruin the taste of instant coffee.
This process requires specialized equipment operated by trained professionals.
All required ruining has already been performed at the factory.  Do not attempt
to adulterate the product further at home by, for example, adding hot water,
milk, sugar, or other substances.  We, the product's designers, originally
intended for this product to be applied directly into the toilet bowl as a
means of masking unpleasant bathroom odors, and as a means of enabling various
vermin (particularly rats and alligators) resident in the sewers to be more
easily located by stimulating them into greater activity and consequent
production of noise.  We never intended that its application be intermediated
through the human body.

Unfortunately, we and the marketing department did not see eye to eye on product
application strategy, and we developers were abducted to a remote island, and
were held there for many years, though under fairly tolerable conditions.  This
lasted until one of the large leveraged buyouts of the 1980's when, after a
particularly nasty reorganization, the secretary disavowed any knowledge of
our actions.  Though we were no longer supervised, we were also without
adequate provisions, and it was necessary to attempt escape on a sailing raft
built from native materials.

Several of us did survive the voyage.  Though there is no way that we can
regain this lost part of our lives, particularly those who sacrificed life or
limb in the course of the voyage to the unfortunate necessity of, and I
apologize that there is no gentler way to put this, cannibalism, we feel
that the public must hear the true story of instant coffee.  This will be told
in our forthcoming book: "Bitter Cup", which we hope will also be made into a
major motion picture.  Unfortunately, we are having trouble writing sufficient
sex into the script while remaining credibly faithful to the true sequence of
events.  To be entirely frank, we are having trouble writing any sex at all
into the script while remaining credibly faithful to the true sequence of
events, and the producer is furious.

Brad Yearwood     brad@optilink.com    {uunet, pyramid}!optilink!brad
Petaluma, California
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Wheatback pennies
Date: 8 Apr 92 02:50:15 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Parkard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA

unknown@ucscb.ucsc.edu (The Unknown Matt) writes:
: 
: In article <1992Apr2.162833.17941@anasaz> morris@anasaz (Bob Morris) writes:
: >BTW, the 1909 penny didn't have a picture of the Lincoln Memorial on the
: >back.  For the people born after the late 1950's, it sported a pair of
: >wheat stalks.  No, I wasn't around in 1909.
: 
:         Wheatback pennies are worth like a dime each, right? (as in to
: collectors, duhhh)

Nope - most of them are worth one cent at the store. They are worth even less
for their metal value.

There are a few exceptions.

Bill
From: linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Earthquakes
Date: 10 Apr 92 19:27:57 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: positive


From: dsc@gemini.tmc.edu (Doug S. Caprette Bldg. 28 W191 x3892)
>  In general, an earthquake of magnitude x, is 'smaller' in California, 
>  than an earthquake of the same magnitude in other parts of the world. 

It's not just earthquakes, Doug.  When we have temparatures "up in the 80's"
(Fahrenheit), this is a different 'smaller' fahrenheit than other parts of
the world.  When our "surf's up!" it's not up as far as it is in Texas, say.

And when "calculus is harder" it's a softer form of harder than other places.

NOT!


--
----------------
Peter van der Linden     linden@eng.sun.com    (415) 336-6206  Frank Zappa:
"May God have mercy on the English, for the terrible food they must endure"
A man without two apothegms in his .sig is like a metaphor without a bicycle
From: tjw@vm2.cis.pitt.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Iron in blood setting off metal detectors
Date: 16 Apr 92 01:10:18 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

In article <32987@darkstar.ucsc.edu>, unknown@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (resU nwonknU ehT) writes:

< In article <1992Apr15.134230.1@vm2.cis.pitt.edu> tjw@vm2.cis.pitt.edu writes:
< }Urban Legend.  There was an episode on Star Trek The Next Generation where
< }a young female alien warns Wesley that a SUPERMAGNET could suck the iron
< }right out of his blood.  According to the trekies (eeek, TREKKERS) on
< }the Star Trek Newsgroups, this makes it CANON (or CANNONS or Steve Cannon)
< }and therefore it MUST be true.

< 	So why do you seem to think it's false?

< 	Doesn't iron still have magnetic properties even when it's bound 
< up in some other kind of molecule?

< 	If that's true, a big enough magnet would be kinda bad!

See how much rust (iron oxide) will stick to a magnet.

Terry "the known user" Wood
From: tjc50@ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: FCC Call letters
Date: 12 Apr 92 14:25:43 GMT
Reply-To: tjc50@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll)
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Apr10.193908.1@acfcluster.nyu.edu> axd7104@acfcluster.nyu.edu writes:
>In article <cfO602cs0fva01@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com>, tjc50@ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll) writes:
>> I note that the regulation assumes 3-character call signs, so that in
>> itself would lead me to believe that it's been modified, but I can't find
>> such a modifcation.  Plus, as someone else posted, there are some Canadian
>
>It's not that the regulation assumed 3-character call signs.  What they
>were doing was assigning PREFIXES.  In other words, when it says that the
>US 'owns' WAA-WZZ, that means the US can use any call sign that STARTS
>with anything from WAA to WZZ, no matter how long the call sign is.

That's not what it says in the treaty, and if it is in fact the case,
then it wouldn't have allocations like "WAA-WZZ", it would just have
"WA-WZ", or just "W", I would think.

Nope, I think it's simply that in 1959, three-letter call signs seemed
like enough.
-- 
The above is my thoughts, not Amdahl's;   |  Terry Carroll  408/992-2152
The above is not legal advice;            |  Senior Computer Architect
All models over 18 years of age;          |  Amdahl Corporation
Contents sold by weight, not by volume;   |  tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com
Your mileage may vary.                    |  tjc50@amail.amdahl.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: chuck_adams@qmail.ssc.gov (Chuck Adams)
Subject: Re: French found Atom Glass in Algeria!
Organization: Superconducting Super Collider Laboratory
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 15:24:36 GMT

In article <6APR199221580266@sigma.tamu.edu> bew4568@sigma.tamu.edu 
(WILSON, BRUCE ERIC) writes:

> Any high energy (and high temperature) source can turn sand or dirt into 
> glass.  One of my friends in Utah has a sample of glass that was formed 
when 
> a lineman was electrocuted accidentally by a 10 000 volt line.

and now for my best snopes impersonation:

Was that lineman made of silica or what?

               Chuck Adams,  WB5WRR   (The Puhpxfgre)
                Internet:  chuck_adams@qmail.ssc.gov
   Disclaimer:  Not an official document of DOE, SSCL, URA or EG&G
                   "Curses!  Flamed Again"  - me
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Why is calculus so feared?
From: worden@bouncer.nsc.com (Dennis Worden)
Date: 6 Apr 92 19:07:44 GMT
Organization: National Semiconductor Corporation

When I was in school in California (high school grad in '74) the "standard"
math progression was Freshman Algebra (oooo, algebra!) Sophmore Geometry
Junior 2nd year of Algebra and a year of Trig and Analytic Geometry.  The
"advanced" path followed the same class progression, only a year earlier,
and had the Senior year for Calculus.  Now, the funny part was that the split
between these two programs occured in 7th grade, where 30 of the "brightest"
kids were accelerated by jamming the 7th and 8th grade math classes together,
and skipping a lot of the useless crap that the rest of us had to learn.  These
"brightest" kids only progressed faster during one year!!!  But they sure 
thoought they were HOT SH_T!!!  It was funny watching them taking the SAT during
our senior year, they signed up for the math with calculus, and were clawing
to get through it, while the rest of us "normal" students were clawing to get
through the Trig.

I think that one reason calculus is more difficult to learn, and hence feared,
is that it involved infinite sums of nothing, and instantenous moving averages
of zero length.  It is a significant departure from the more "standard" math
that relates to everyday life.  Just my opinion anyway ;-).
-- 
Dennis Worden, not representing $  When the TEAM succeeds, you succeed,
anybody, not even himself, in   $  but when the Team fails, you're FIRED.
any way shape or form.          $  Don't EMAIL me at worden@berlioz.nsc.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.mcdonalds
From: sck@watson.ibm.com (Scott C. Kennedy)
Subject: Re: McMouse!
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 00:27:44 GMT
Distribution: na
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: IBM T. J. Watson Research Center

In article <1992Apr10.115705.4701@cam.compserv.utas.edu.au>, jbrunton@esk (Jason Brunton) writes:
|> Another gruesome tale from Maccas is that once a guy cooking burgers
|> over the grill (217 Degrees C) slipped on a pickle and his hand went
|> straight palm side down, onto the grill. His hand was also stuck but it 
|> was removed more effectively using a meat pattie spatular. They shoved 
|> his hand into the ice machine (-6 Degrees C) to ease the pain.  
|>      But he live another day to cook a BIG MAC .      

	A similar incident happend to me, I was working as a "wheel" cook for
Perkins. A new cook came in behind me, slipped on some debris on the floor, 
landed against my back, throwning me towards the grill. Instead of letting my face
get griddled I put my right hand down and left forearm. 

	Although I did not stiick to the grill, there was a certain "bonding" that took
place. And I can't remember my exact thoughts at this instant, but "OUCH! ^%!@#$^" 
certainly was among them. The burns were'nt too severe and after 4 weeks I was 
back cooking.  (Should have thought about suing, but I was only 17)

Interesting side effect: I had extremely limited heat sensation in both hands. (After
the "incident" I could flip steaks & burgers without using utensils. But, snatching 
things out of the fryer was a bit painful, but possible.

Scott
PS> After not cooking for 5 years, the sensation to heat is still diminished, but I can't
tell the difference between 100F and 150F. So, showers can be quite wierd..... Hmmm
feels right..... OW! OW! OW! OW!
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Falling bullets on Marilyn's Parade
Date: 8 Apr 92 03:38:45 GMT
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations

In article <1992Apr8.013957.8139@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com> billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson) writes:
>Well, look at it this way. After you pick a door, there are 4 possibilities.
>Assume the doors are as you describe.
>
>Pick A and be shown C - switch and get a car.
>Pick C and be shown A - switch and get a car.
>Pick B and be shown C - switch and get a goat.
>Pick B and be shown A - switch and get a goat.
>
>Work it out for yourself.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Okay, there are *nine* possibilities.  Car in A, B, or C; first pick
being A, B, or C.

Car is in:	You first pick:		You are shown:		The switch:
----------	---------------		--------------		----------
A			A		    B or C		    Goat
A			B			C		    Car
A			C			B		    Car
B			A		        C		    Car
B			B		    A or C		    Goat
B			C		        A		    Car
C			A			B		    Car
C			B			A		    Car
C			C		    A or B		    Goat

Switching gets you two-thirds.  Period.
-- 
Ted Frank          + "A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged, it
1307 E 60 St, #109 +  is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in
U o' C Law Skool   +  color and content according to the circumstances and
Chi, IL 60637      +  the time in which it is used."  --  Holmes
From: morris@anasaz (Bob Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Rock and roll (was Re: some old uls)
Date: 6 Apr 92 17:26:09 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Anasazi, Inc.  Phoenix, Az

In article <4APR199223550662@gamma.is.tcu.edu> djohnson@gamma.is.tcu.edu (Darryl Johnson) writes:
>
>I suppose I should include a UL.  Q: Did rock-n-roll originally
>refer to automobile sexual carousing, BEFORE the music style came
>into being?  I recently had a short argument with someone over this.

I heard that the name is from Negro slang (hey, this was the 1950's,
remember?) for sexual carousing without the automobile.  Since the subject
matter of early rock and roll music was sex, the name seems appropriate.
If you don't belive this, listen to "Sixty Minute Man"

Continuing the UL, the reason that the Negroes sang about sex was so
whites couldn't steal their style and make money from it.  Almost worked.

Bob "doesn't remember Buddy Holly" Morris
aka morris@anasazi.com  (new address)
anasaz!morris@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (old address still works)
My opinions only, of course...
From: tjw@vm2.cis.pitt.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: I Was Told That There Was A FAQ List
Date: 16 Apr 92 22:22:56 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh


> T. Terry Wood spelled "Hindenburg" correctly once.

Oh yea, PROVE IT!

Terry "Just another corporate stooge for Prodigy" Wood
From: linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Richard Bill Gere
Keywords: Pull, the, other, one, it's, got, bells, on
Date: 15 Apr 92 03:16:33 GMT
Organization: A cigar is just a cigar but a good man is a bloke
NNTP-Posting-Host: positive

While idly entering the IOCC the other day, I happened to notice that
the name "Dick Bill Gere" is an anagram of:

           El gerbil dick.

Does anybody know if "William" is Mr Gere's middle name?  I think we
should be told.

--
Peter van der Linden    linden@eng.sun.com
Have you got a light Mac?   No, but I've got a taupe-colored Sun.
From: unknown@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (99E99)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Captain Crunch and the Phone Phreaks
Date: 10 Apr 92 17:51:18 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz; Open Access Computing


In article <1992Apr8.171925.21575@midway.uchicago.edu> djb6@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
}True Stories, distilled by the book _Cyberpunk_ and other stories.
}In the seventies there were people running around who called themselves 
}"phone phreaks" who could accomplish all kinds of shenanigans at the phone
}company.  One discovered that the toy whistle given away as a prize in a 
}box of Captain Crunch cereal duplicated the tone used by the phone company
}to make an overseas call.  

	Uhh, I believe that's inaccurate. You could say it's a subset of
the truth ("A lie of omission is still a lie" -Picard to Wesley).

	I met Cap'n Crunch.. He was at a "teen drinking party" I was at a 
few years ago. (I do _not_ drink, but have attended such things, usually to
have a great time laughing at people putting themselves into such a dumb
situation of lack of self control).  The weird thing was that he's in his
40s I'd guess.  And he just basically sat at a table, staring into space.
(No, I do _NOT_ think he was on drugs. I get the distinct impression he's 
always like that)

	The 2600 Hz tone (every self respecting geek knows that.. JUST KIDDING)
would allow calls _anywhere_.  Wozniak & Jobs sold Blue Boxes to UC Berkeley
students before starting Apple. [Either they, or someone else, was caught by
the police, and the excuse was that it was a "device to play music" or 
somesuch.  The cops said something like "someone beat you to it last week."
Sounds like folklore, but it is told in the _first person_ by Wozniak or one of
the other phreakers].

	So who can answer a modem with a whistle? I can do it almost 
immediately. Probably the only tune I can carry.

	Another side note, anyone know the relevance (hint BBSing) of 
my setenved_name_of_the_day? (99E99, that is).  Probably way too far out for
anyone to guess what I mean.
-- 
/unknown@ucscb.ucsc.edu GS SIMM mem card & trackball WANTED  Apple II Forever!\
\Mail me:Get INFOCOM GAMES RERELEASED,ULT VI GS done,for UNIX GS&CHEAP CD info/
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban