From: franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve "edified" Franklin)
Newsgroups: alt.irc,alt.stupidity,alt.flame
Subject: Re: WANTED: USER'S GUIDE TO IRC LOVE
Date: 23 Jul 92 02:44:55 GMT
Article-I.D.: cs.BrtMAw.EA8
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada

In <1992Jul23.000832.214@nic.umass.edu> s6883289@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Owl) writes:


>hi! after so much fun with irc, i want to start something new..
>can someone tell me if there;s any doc for irc love and flirt?
>this is gonna be one exciting project.. hope i don't get into trouble again.
>thanks..

Okay, here we go Owl... The Man Pages for IRC love... enjoy, and learn
well... It could be a valuable lesson!

------------------------------------------------------------
IRC MANUAL FOR LOVE: V 1.0

   Written by Steve franklin, 11:01, July 22,1992

How to succeed with love and flirting on irc:

                be a girl
------------------------------------------------------------

IRC MANUAL FOR LOVE V. 2.0 (corrects a few bugs, and adds new features)

  Written by Steve Franklin, 11:02, July 22, 1992

How to succeed with love and flirting on irc:

                Be a girl
                Start a channel called #hotsexforpervertswhoare10inchersormore
                /msg guys who have names like hugeone, manly, bigbody, or worse
                Figure out exactly what your dimensions should be... 
                Don't remind the fellow you are flirting with that he is
                   actually a geek. 
                NEVER ask the question "if you're so great, being so smart,
                   incredibly good looking, a sports jock, and piano
                   virtuoso (THOR!), then how come you're on irc 18 hours
                   a day?)
                Become one with irc lingo - this includes annoying 
                   smileys (8), ;) :) >:) ), flowers ( &>--`/--), 
                   yecky sweetness (*hugs*, *grin*, *smile*) etc...
                Tell him you're glad he's so attractive but that
                   it doesn't realy matter anyways, and even if he was
                   short, ugly, and overweight it wouldn't matter.
                   (warning, he may at this point admit that he truly is,
                   shorty, ugly and overweight)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

               
IRC MANUAL FOR LOVE V. 3.0 (patch for manual Version 2.0)
  Written by Steve Franklin, 11:06, July 22, 1992

How to succeed with love and flirting on irc:

   For men who insist on maintaining masculinity and not stooping to 
female imitation:

         Consider flirting with other males. There are few females on IRC
            and many of them are actually other males who are already 
            familiar with Version 2.0 of the IRC-for-Love manual. 
         Choose a nick like "sensitive" or "ILoveKids" or "NotAGeek"
            basically, you want to choose a nick that will make you stand
            out as a nice guy. Don't try anything dumb like "BigMan",
            "Stamina" or "SuperMan", because these will inevitably
            attract those who are already familiar with Version 2.0 of
            the IRC-For-Love manual and are not truly female, but female
            impersonators...
         Say that you like to cry. Remember, you're a 90's man!
         Recite poetry.
         Slip in the fact that you can bench press 803.5 lbs. 
         Tell her you have a GPA of 4.9
         You are a god-fearing religious individual (remember, the bad
            girls are actually MEN!)
         Tell her you can cook.
         Tell her you like your women unattractive. Pretty girls are so
            vain and boring. 
         Start your own channel called #GoodBoysLikeFun, but shorten it up
            a bit to something easier to type. Yeah, try #GBLF. Warning,
            other individuals who read this manual may have already started
            #GBLF so be patient and wait your turn. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

IRC MANUAL FOR LOVE V. 3.1 (patch for manual Version 3.0)
  Written by Steve Franklin, 11:11, July 22, 1992

How to succeed with love and flirting on irc:

You can't. It's lame, pathetic, and utterly unsucessful. After a vote
taken among important members of the IRC clan*, it has been discovered
that 100% frown upon any sort of amorous activities. Get a real relationships,
but never settle for an irc facsimile. You don't know what you're dealing with,
and it isn't really worth your time.

* 1 member participated in the vote. Remaining anonymous, this Superhero
couldn't afford to have his identity revealed, since he is a prominent
journalist in Metropolis. 
---------------------------------------------------------

Th-Th-Th-Th-That's all folks!

steve franklin
       SUPERMAN!
-- 
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