From: mikeh@starnine.com (Mike Haas)
Subject: ADVOCACY'S TRUE DANGER REVEALED!
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 20:43:03 GMT
Organization: StarNine Technologies, Inc.



         Forget about heroin, cocaine, alchohol...
          make sure THIS doesn't happen to YOU!



        THE DANGERS OF NETNEWS  (or...Just Post "NO")
        ---------------------------------------------

    PHASE 1... "hey, this is cool... and it's free?"

Phase 1 is usually accompanied with intense curiosity about the
newly-found service, and the netter is driven to read as many
groups as possible.

Way too intimidated to actually post, he is, however, very interested
in what everyone else has to say.  Thinks the abundance of information
about his particular interest is heaven come true.  Enchanted by smileys.

Reads and captures the "net ettiquette" handbook to disk.


   PHASE 2... "This group is boring, lets check out alt.sex..."

In this phase, the initial fascination with news begins to fade,
and some groups take "precedence" over others.  The first negative
opinions begin forming... he has seen opinions he doesn't agree with
and rudeness and wonders about the possibilities of lawsuits.  Creates
a sig made up of 4,096 characters (from a pallete of 26).

First posts usually occur in this phase; usually consisting of
asking questions of the net gods he has encountered.  If knowledgable
about related matters, he may try to "contribute" by answering simple
questions like "What is memory" and "My computer doesn't work unless
I plug this cable with 3 prongs into the wall.  Why?"

During this phase, if someone replies rudely to one of his posts, there
is a chance he may never again post.  If he does, he may quote the net
ettiquette handbook section on rudeness.


   PHASE 3 "...just a second dear, this guy is flaming Lincoln Logs,
            and I can't let him get away with THAT!..."

Phase 3 is where the netter really begins to feel a part of the system.
He learns about cross-posting.  He begins to "understand" that his
opinion is vitally important to everyone who logs into the net.

Posts are serious business.  They cost hundreds, if not thousands of
dollars to distribute around the world, so someone better raise taxes!

Rudeness is accepted as a necessary evil, sometimes even a useful tool,
but he's determined to only use this power when "really necessary".

Hasn't looked anything up in the net ettiquette handbook for months.


   phase 4 "...you jerk!  Your net access should be pulled, you scum!..."

He's into it now!  He's a master of sarcasm in ascii.  Every post is
a potential electronic desert storm.  Every now & then, he takes mercy
by including the statement "I aggree...".  Can't believe the idiots
using this system.

It is during phase 4 when the netter stops trimming down articles when
he posts a reply.  It becomes common practice to include an entire
300-line article, and follow it up only with "Bullshit!".

Statistics are very important at this stage.  They are efficient weapons
in print, and he's constantly jotting down tidbits he hears on TV or reads
in newspapers & books, so that he can further decimate his Usenet enemies.
(Unconcious of the fact that 38% of all statistics are simply made up!)

Deletes the net ettiquette handbook from his hard disk to make room for
posts by those who agree with him.


   PHASE 5 "...the homeless?  They should just BUY one!  :-)..."

After getting over the psychological shock accompanying the discovery that
Usenet won't help him effect change in anything, the netter gains solace by
making fun of those currently going through phase 4.

Nothing is sacred.  Posts show the influence of MTV and the Fox network
on Sunday nights...it's clear that he considers the original Saturday
Night Live crew as "network TV pioneers".

Posts a joke-filled mock-up of the net ettiquette handbook.


   PHASE 6 "...CDTV is dead..."

This is the final stage of human degredation.  The netter becomes bored
with simply poking fun at everything, and focuses on one entity to wage
total war at.  Two sure signs of this stage is that his posts initially
appear rational, but are incessantly negative, and almost constant
foaming at the mouth occurs while posting.

This is a dangerous stage.  A phase-6 netter is so focused on his
object of hate, that he is practically oblivious to other stimuli.  One
phase 6 netter continued typing at his terminal (posting against his
innocent subject of rage) while a runaway bulldozer slowly plowed
over him.  He never blinked an eye.

A phase 6 netter will claim to be extremely knowledgable about the
object of obsession, but this pitiful sham is easily recognized.
The final stages of the mental deterioration bring wishes of death
for those he sees as "responsible" for the object and a complete
breakdown in credibility.

The poor creature can no longer comprehend the concept of net ettiquette.

Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.advocacy