Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 21:34:43 EDT
From: <MZ6@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: B&B: Ver. database gives efficient update, Thurs. 7/23

You know, I have an analogy for Jim Acker's vacation return :-)

(just a tad tawdry, so don't get offended).

A couple is virtuous and traditional, and decide not to KNOW one
another until after they are legally married.  They set a date and
they wait and wait and wait...counting the days on the calendar.
Finally, the day comes, and they are married and it is the wedding
night.  And the bridegroom says "I can't just yet...maybe on Monday".

Okay, the analogy isn't that good...but I feel for all you folks (like
me) who were waiting for the return of witty, urbane updates from
Jimmy--only to be held off a little longer.  [Jim, feelin' guilty yet?
I knew you would!  :-) :-) :-) ].

Two more tangential pieces before I give you the scoop.  First,
I believe that Jim's "returning" note was the first time I've been
called a  "veritable database".  Oh, sure, I've been called an
"encyclopaedic intellect", a "corcucopia of facts", a "spreadsheet of
knowledge", a "filofax of trivia", a "hardisk full of data", and MUCH,
MUCH more.  But a "veritable database"....

Finally, I've been extolling the virtues of Sheila lately....but I'm
more sold on this nurse everyday.  Anyone who saw today's episode
knows what I'm talking about....this woman is so slick, it's hard to
know if she's being manipulative or sincere sometimes.  I find
Sheila's romance of Eric INFINITELY more believable and realistic
than her dalliance with Scott.  Here's hoping she never returns to
Genoa City....Los Angeles needs her!  On to the update:

THE BIKINI

They have decided to exploit Sly's chest, so he is again in a vest-
number that exposes his pectorals.  I don't object, because persons
who prefer either gender are richly rewarded in The Bikini....all
the females are in the _de rigeur_ bikini tops.

Felicia has flitted in and begins her usual idiotic chit-chat with Zack.
You know the script:

FELICIA (F):  What is that in your hands?
ZACK (Z):  My dice.
F:  A symbol of luck?
Z. A symbol of hate.
F:  What's the deal?
Z:  It's a long story.
F:  I like long stories.
Z:  That's an inappropriate use for my mouth.  Here's a better use for
 the mouth.  (Passionate kiss, and the story is dropped).

Interspersed with these inanities is the visit of Darla Dinkle, who
is waiting for her "hunk date"  Bill Spencer.  True to form,
Bill shows up in full suit and tie, and is reluctant to sit at
a table.  Darla gets him to sit, and he promptly orders a martini.
"No uptight drinks tonight, Spence" Darla burbles, and orders them
both tequila shooters.  Soon, she has Bill salting his fist,
and downing tequila--and liking it.

Ah, but the evening's festivities have only begun.  Darla lures
"Spence" to the dance floor.  He is woefully stiff, but eager to
please, and he carefully observes Sly's slick moves on the floor...
and tries (clumsily) to imitate them.  A line dance starts, and
Bill gets partnered with Felicia...general mirth ensues.  Zack,
too cool for this scene, stays behind the bar and grins.

But the laughter does not last.  The grimy fella (a slicked back
guy who had appeared in Zack's poker-playing flashbacks of his
father, and who came looking for Zack the other day) returns to
bar (all in black), and Zack hides.  Sly covers for him, telling
the grimy dude he's never heard of Zack.  Grimy dude is upset,
but vows to find Zack.

THE FORRESTER CONDO

Sheila is putting Baby Eric down for a nap, and lovingly (then
seriously) reflects on her own lost Scotty in Genoa City.
Eric comes in, and asks Sheila why she is so serious.

Sheila changes the topic,  and talks about how beautiful Eric's
apartment is.  She is tired...a burst pipe in her apartment
means lots of noise and no water.  Eric invites Sheila to stay in
the guest room, where little Eric sleeps...Judy did this all the
time.

Sheila discusses the beauty of the apartment...especially the Jacuzzi
(she has never taken such a bath before).  Sheila also tells Eric
that she spoke with Brooke earlier, and Brooke was willing to let
Sheila take care of little Eric.

Eric talks about the underappreciated beauty of the condo.  (He
also asks Sheila if she is unwilling to sleep in the condo because
of Eric's kisses.  Sheila says she hasn't given the kisses any
thought).  Too much has been going on the Forrester's lives to
appreciate their condo.

Just then, Brooke comes home.  Eric is happy--he hadn't expected Brooke
so early, and he leaves Sheila behind.

Eric's evening with Brooke is neither long-lasting nor pleasant.
Eric wants to talk about the baby, their lives....and Brooke is unwilling
to do so.  Her "contact" with Ridge was much more frequent than the
one time she slept with Eric.  Eric corrects her....she couldn't have
had much "contact" with Ridge either.

Brooke, deep in denial, tells Eric he better stop trying to interfere
with her life, or they will be at each other's throats.  Eric
tells Brooke she should stop acting like her time in the apartment is
doing him a favor--this is for them and their child.

Brooke storms out.

Eric storms into his bedroom, livid.  He will not tolerate this much
longer.  Eric rips off his shirt, deciding to take a relaxing Jacuzzi.
Suddenly, from the slightly ajar bathroom, the sound of leisurely
humming floats out.

Eric storms into the bathroom, shocked to find Sheila taking a leisurely
bubble bath.  Eric seems a little angry--what are you doing here--but
he does not avert his eyes.

Sheila acts flustered...."I thought you were spending the evening with
Mrs. Forrester....You told me to look around, make myself at home...."

Eric seems to soften a little, but he is shirtless and staring intently
at Sheila.  Sheila shifts a little, losing the flustered look.  "Eric,"
she says, softly, "Why aren't you looking away?"  Sheila grins a little.

I LIKE this stuff!

Mike at Penn State