From: Wayne.Briggs@p3.f26.n392.z1.fidonet.org (Wayne Briggs)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Back in Abilene, Tx.
Date: 21 Jul 92 15:28:46 GMT
Reply-To: Wayne.Briggs@p3.f26.n392.z1.fidonet.org
Organization: FidoNet node 1:392/26.3 - Star Express, Abilene Tx
X-Fidonet: Amputee Conference

Index Number: 23177

[This is from the Amputee Conference]

Today, 7-15-92 we returned to Abilene from El Paso. The throat
infection I got from the last stellate gangilion block thru by neck
at Parkland about three weeks agon hasn't cleared up despite some
$150 a week antibiotic & then Augmentin. Because of this, I  was
unable to have surgery of any kind. The doctor at El Paso wan't to
do some that three other orthopods told me to not have done because
it proably would make better for a short whilw, then would have to
be removd in 6-9 months with the results being more pain &
additional problems.  at A NEW MIDDLE SCHOOL in Abilene that will
open August 17, 1992 with lots of new computers, softwerar, books &
magazines in boxes.

Dr. Mary Beth Ezcaki had seen me 7-6-92 and agreeed to do a
shoulder disarticulation at PArkland August 17,1992 IF Parkland
will give the OK. I had asked her thru her secretary to "put it on
hold" until I could find out about an earlier date because of my
wife's situation.

Besidess Augut 92 being when she opens a new school; August 91 was
about when our house caughton fire, she started having a major
depression (since improved) & when her mom started encuraging her
to divorce me; 8-12-90 was when I was attacked by the dog.  I was
trying to avoid overloading unpleasant annaversary dates &
Charlotte having the major stress of opening & new school on the
day my shoulder disarticulation was scheduled at Parkland. I was
also wanting Charlotte to be there the day before, the day of, and
the first day after surgery.

Last week she had screaming nightmAres 3 nights in a row and then
they stopped. She has been very supportive.

I hope Dr. Ezcaki is able to help me August 17th or when ever. I5t
is complicated because she no longer has  her own upper extremity
service at Parkland, must ask others for time & approval, and the
senior person she want to assis is avaiable August 17th. Everr
since she told us she would do the shoulder amputation, I've felt
much better. I hope hope or either feeling better and perhaps going
back to work.

MENTAL STATUS IMPROVEMENTS: improved memory, can now remember a 7
digit phone number long enough to either dial it or write it down,
I've gone from crying 3 times a day to generally not crying, mood
is improved, I'm less angry at the guy whose dog attacked e, & we
are enjoying not just supporting each other but being with each
other more. The only time I cried was whenm by surprize Chgarlotte
ask what I missed most and I said "Having two hands to hold you.
Nothing else matters.

However, we had a lot of fun in El paso & took a midnight drive.

I'm ready & after the disarticulation I'll be able to go on with my life.

Charlotte has been very supportive and now thinks daily of adaptive
things like a holder so I can take a drink of pop when stopped at a
stop sign or driving with my thighs when there are no other cars
around, etc.  I really feel loved.

We are both looking forward to August 17th & praying Dr. Ezacki
does the disarticulation that day. The swelling of my arm continues
to get worse even though I'm wearing the Varney sling that supports
the bottom of my humerus & elevates my right hand to my left
breast.

I had a false pride about how I had been able to driver our 5 speed
740 Turbo with only my left arm working. Twice I broke off gear
shift knobs & the mechanic said he had nbever seen 1 broken before
and that I must be shigting some unusual way to put so much force
to the knob & shift lever. Saturday we bought a 90 Tarus with an
automatic. Now I think I had been desperately trying to prove to
myself & others that I didn't need to adapt or bdo things
differently and was being unusually macho.

I had no idea back then, how scared I really was. I'm no longer
scared and am glad to adaapt rather than creating problems for
myself. EXAMPLE: Saturday I drove 400 miles round trip  Abilene to
Dallas & Sunday drove 180 miles to Midsland. My left shoulder was
aching & the muscles or tendons were strained enough that when I
coughed badly from the sore throat, my good left shoulder felt like
it was starting to dislocate. I'm no longer going to push it and
I'm no longer trying to see how much luggage I can carry. Nobody
else really cares & I've just been being stupid. I now intend to
take good care of my left arm. Besides, it is the oinly one that
that works for being ffectionate with my wife, combing my hair, and
wipping my fanny.

I haven't been written in my journal even though I took the
Macintosh with me.  I did not intend tto say much except were back
& praying the surgery is August 17th.

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