From: forda@gtephx.UUCP (Andrew Ford @ AGCS, Phoenix, Arizona)
Subject: Re: Oh No, More Star Trek
Organization: gte
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 23:07:29 GMT

In article <21172@optima.cs.arizona.edu>, jiang@cs.arizona.edu (Howard) writes:
> 
Subject: Re: Oh No More Star Track
Keywords: oh no more star track

The Subject line has been fixed
    was it "Oh, no more Star Trek," "Oh no, more Star Trek", or what?
    It's TREK, you dwebe! (Christ, Star Track is an embarrasing 
        mistake for a sixth grader!)
The Keywords line was deleted as it was redundant.

> 
> >> #7  After belting down a couple of shirley temples in 10-Forward,
> >>Weasley stumbles onto to holo-deck, which he commands "Take me to
> >>Hell".  
> >
> >At which point, the Hollowdeck anti-mortality constraint known so well by 
> >devoted trekkies kicks in and saves Wesley.  Unfortunately, Lt. Data had 
> >connected himself to the Enterprise Computer at that very moment to 
> >download some X-rated gifs of android porn, and the subsequent network crash 
> >sets him off.  So he stomps down to the hollowdeck, puts his phaser on 
> >overload, and stuffs it up Wessley's ass.  Of course, the ever-watchful 
> >Enterprise computer detects an impending explosion and beams Wesley into 
> >deep space.  Unfortunately, he happens to materialize and explode in front of 
> >Romulan Cruiser, covering the hull with yesterday's diner, and provoking an
> >intergalatic war. 
> 
> After feeling remorse for Dr. Crusher's loss, Captain John Luke Pikard bops her
> a few times to help her forget the loss of her son. However, with such advanced
> technology that the Romulans have, Commander Tomalockette sees what the good
> Captain is doing, and wants a piece of the action herself.  So she demands
> Riker to allow her on board, and to meet personally with John Luke.  Of course
> trying to avoid a war, Riker agrees and drops the sheeldes. The Cap, along with
> the Doc, are totally unaware that the Commander had sneaked into their quarters,
> so they keep at it...  however, the Romulan's secret lesbian lover discovers
> what is happening, and starts opening fire on the Enterprise. Riker, intrigued
> by this menage a trois, falls into a coma trying to understand what the hell
> is going on, and so Cmdr. Data gives command to Counselor Troi. Troi,
> embarrassed by her previous pics in playboy, hides in turbolift 5, and retracts
> into a useless shell. In the meantime, the enterprise is getting its ass kicked,
> and noone competent is left on the bridge anymore, because Jordache lost his
> shades in the warp engine somewhere, and data is frenzily accessing vpic...
> 
But suddenly, Warped, the Klingon hero takes command of the deck.  In epic
Klingon style, Warped destroys the Bird of Prey's guns and transporters
in one shot while avoiding any damage to the rest of the ship: Seizing
the opportunity, Warped then beams Tomalockette's jealose lesbian lover
to the bridge and proceeds to satisfy her deepest lusts.   After the 
Romulan dike has had all she can take and is lying on the deck in utter
exhaustion, Warped, in total frustration at her fragility, beams over
to the Bird of Prey and proceed to have wild screaming sex with
all the Romulan women on board.  Having worn out all the women, but
barely whetted his ferocious Klingon appetite, Warped proceeds to use
the Romulan men.  

Soon the entire Romulan crew are lying on the floor, utterly drained.
And our heros on the USS enterprise sail back to Starbase 69 with
their booty in a tractor beam.

[next, The Enterprise on Starbase 69]




-- 
"25 States allow anyone to buy a gun, strap it on, and walk down the street with
no permit of any kind: some say it's crazy.  However, 4 out of 5 US murders are 
committed in the other half of the country: so who is crazy?"   -  Andrew Ford
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