HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: My trip out West (long)
Date: 25 Jan 1993 16:28:54 GMT
Organization: FizzBall Racing
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Andrew Clayton) writes:
>	"Hey, let's make a dac-shaped target.  Damn, can't seem
>	 to find a block of wood thick enough!"

Actually, I seem to remember the problem being that lipstick wasn't
fine enough to draw your likeness on a ricecake cum skeet.  That, and
Geoff didn't want us to use the last of his lipstick.

>I'll cogitate upon the ethical correctness of mentioning
>vibrators.

Get with it, Dac.  There's nothing wrong with *mentioning* vibrators.
Whether it's ethical to *eat* vibrators is the debate.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The only sports are auto racing and bull fighting, all the rest are games."

						--Ernest Hemingway
From: ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-)
Subject: Re: Inauguration Parade Coverage (Was: Statistical bullshit)
Organization: OFSA
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 18:06:52 GMT

ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wonders:


>	1. How can the Clintonoids SELL the rights to the
>	   Inauguration to HBO? How can a the rights to a
>	   public event, held on Federal property, be sold?

It's political, correct? That means there is money to be made, doesn't
matter if it is legal or not.

>	2. Who, aside from "yellow-dog-Democrats" like Larry,
>	   actually sat through that yawner?

Not me...I even voted for Clinton (first time I voted in YEARS!) and I
wasn't about to waste time watching it.
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Orientals . . .
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 22 Jan 1993 19:20:01 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com


potler@umbc.edu (Laura Potler) writes:

>peeve: rush "i ate seattle and now i'm gonna burb it up on the radio" 
>limbaugh.

>related peeve: anyone who gets on the airwaves and claims that they have 
>the solution to all of our problems but, in reality, does nothing to solve 
>them. 


Solving problems is well outside the purview of a radio commentator, whether
he's liberal or conservative.

Besides, whether I agree or disagree with Rush (and it depends on the issue),
I think it's refreshing to have a public figure who actually speaks his mind
without regard to public sentiment, and does so with an irreverent sense of
humor as well.


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller			+ + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM	+ + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Date: 28 Jan 93 04:40:39 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <C1Jqs3.2q2@vcd.hp.com> dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe) writes:
|curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:
|
|>there are two reasons why people commit crimes:
|>
|>(1) because it's fun.
|>and (2) because it pays.
|
|Certainly those reasons are true, but there not the only reasons.  The guy
|who is on an $85 per day coke habit (or whatever), is going to get those
|85 bucks no matter what it takes, and it's usually crime.

Is there an echo in here?

c
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pets (was Fleetwood Mac, Go Own Your Way!)
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 22 Jan 1993 17:53:53 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo PArk, Ca.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



Speaking of Fleetwood Mac, last night a friend of mine mentioned seeing
them on TV when they performed at the inagural ball.  I've long wondered
what Stevie Nicks looks like these days, and whether she's reasonably
well preserved.

I hear she's a hogger, and probably weighs 180 pounds if she weighs an
ounce.

Shit.



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller			+ + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM	+ + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donp@twg.com (Don Pette)
Subject: Re: Pets (was Fleetwood Mac, Go Own Your Way!)
Organization: WollyWorld, Palo Alto, CA
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 22:47:32 GMT

In article <1993Jan21.223758.22111@twg.com> nolan@twg.com writes:
>
>In article <1993Jan21.183343.18478@twg.com>, donp@twg.com (Donkey Peter) 
>writes:                                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
>

Why Nolan buddy, I never knew you noticed. Now I understand why you
keep that GIF of the Steve Bogroll up on your monitor all the time.

-Don 'Did you drop that pencil on purpose?' Pette
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bickham@lynx.msc.cornell.edu.UUCP (Scott Bickham,C17 Clark Hall,56079,2737038)
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Originator: bickham@msc2.msc.cornell.edu
Organization: Cornell-Materials-Science-Center
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 01:48:44 GMT

From article <1993Jan28.004746.17267@netcom.com>, by geoffm@netcom.com (Geoff Miller):
> 
> In article <1993Jan26.180958.22771@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu
> (Bill Berbenich) writes:
> 
>>even so, the bullet comes back down at the same speed that it left the
>>barrel.  it has to come down somewhere.
> 
> Not!  When it leaves the barrel, the bullet has the force of the propellant
> (gunpower, for those of you in Rio Linda) behind it.  Coming back down, on
> the other hand, it only has tha acceleration of gravity working on it, less
> resistance from the air.  In simple terms, on the way up it's being pushed, 
> but on the way down, it's only falling.
> 

Alas, another one of my idols has fallen.  As soon as it leaves the barrel,
the only external force acting on the bullet is gravity and air resistance.
Neglecting the air resistance (ahich is roughly proportional to, and
oppositely directed to the velocity), the speed will be the same when it
returns to the same height as the barrel.  Air-resistance will make it
a little less, but not by much compared to the muzzle velocity.  Hope you're
feeling better tomorrow Geoff, although I imagine that you're busy reading
through your AMOK catalog in your spare time.

Scott
From: mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Peeve du jour
Date: 25 Jan 93 22:39:39 GMT

In <y5Kls*B01@prolix.apana.org.au> dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton) writes:

>!Peeve: Playing the 'dictionary' game: Someone is designated
>        dictionary, chooses a word in the dictionary, and asks if
>	anyone knows what it means. If not, then everyone writes
>	down a definition, and hands it in to the designated dictionary,
>	who reads them all out, including his own dictionary definition,
>	and the players try to guess the real definition.

Also sold commercially as "Balderdash".

General!Peeve: games.  Love 'em; almost any type.
	Specially Trivial Pursuit, Outburst, cards (hearts, spades,
		cribbage, gin), Rummy-O, Uno, and on and on.

	Hate those 50's & 60's songs games, like Songburst and Encore.
		Just don't know enough of those 'oldtimer' songs - 
		my wife does though!

--
|   Michael G. Hart                   mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil    |
|--------------------------------------------------------------------|
|     You think _I_ speak for the government or the navy?  HAH!      |
| Aviation, computers, quality improvement, Northern Exposure, money |
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: root@antipope.uucp (Superuser)
X-Mailer: SCO System V Mail (version 3.2)
Subject: Re: X% unethical [was Re: why hunting is unethical]
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 20:17:42 +0000

Banta banters:
>In article <C1G6oJ.HLx@wpg.com> russ@wpg.com (Russell Lawrence) writes:
>>describe me using perjorative labels like "flaming idiot" or 
>>"ignorant fool" or whatever, whereas I typically refrain from such 
>>practices?  [except where Banta's concerned, of course]
	:
>To date, your best argument has been "prove to me that what I say
>isn't true."  (Note: I'll supply the information I have on amino acids
>when I get home, which is where it is.  If there is, in fact, a
>vegetable product containing all the essential amino acids, it's news
>to me.  It doesn't address any of the other issues I brought up
>concerning your soy vs. beef comparison, and regardless, it still
>isn't an argument for animal rights).

Er, you're both wrong and I'm right!

(Isn't that the alt.peeves motto? I forget. Oh, never mind ...)

Beef is a lousy protein source for human beings; inefficient as
hell. So's maize, though, and soya ain't much better.

A couple of years ago some joker got a grant from the EEC to maximize 
protein production from a hectare of land. He did it, too -- twenty
times the yield of maize, a hundred times the yield of beef!

He dug a three metre trench round the field, filled it with concrete,
then burned off the vegetation and seeded it with weeds. Then he 
innoculated it with his crop. At the end, he harvested the crop,
crushed it to get rid of the icky liquid contents (which are
apparently pretty indigestible), dried them, and sold them as
concentrated protein foodstock.

So what was the miracle crop that produced twenty times the protein
bulk of high-efficiency C4-metabolism vegetables, you ask?

Earthworms.

Just thought you'd like to know ...

-- Charlie
h
From: egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Smug Ex-Oxbridge types (we hate 'em)
Date: 27 Jan 93 11:51:09 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <30842@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson) writes:

>Page, you are a lying hypocritical Ex-Oxbridge smartarse drunken git.

>l&k,

>===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

Oh *Jezzie*!  You *noticed*!!!!

I'm so *thrilled*!

But hey, less of the smartarse next time ok?

Babs
From: potler@umbc.edu (Laura Potler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: My trip out West (long)
Date: 23 Jan 1993 18:08:42 -0500
Organization: University of Maryland, Baltimore County Campus
NNTP-Posting-Host: umbc4.umbc.edu

In article <1jq86qINN4t6@titan.ucs.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Well Paid in Name Only) writes:
>Geoff has an unshakable air of calm around him.  If I were stuck in SF during
>an earthquake, I'd definitely want to be within 3 feet of Geoff, because I'm
>sure the earth would not be moving.  Also, I can't think of a better word

just as i suspected...
with geoff, the earth doesn't move.

-l "heh" p
-- 
-lp  *********************************************************************
*     "How did Elvis' handwriting appear on his own death certificate?"  *
*		--from "The Elvis Files:  Was His Death Faked?"          *
**************************************************************************
From: jennyg@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Well Paid in Name Only)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Date: 23 Jan 1993 11:27:18 -0500
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
NNTP-Posting-Host: titan.ucs.umass.edu

In article <1993Jan23.150327.17644@samba.oit.unc.edu> Blair.Haworth@launchpad.unc.edu (Blair Haworth) writes:

>
>A lot (arguably almost all, but let's be charitable) of these 1400, or
>rather, the people who incurred the 1400 deaths, can be categorized as
>idiots; isn't it kind of likely that they'd've still rung up a pretty good
>score without the help of ordnance?

Yup, but if they had been wielding, say, paintbrushes or keyboards instead
of guns, the only harm done would be bad art or Dalhousian posts.

Having spent a great deal of time in California with big burly men who own
firearms (and a couple of skinny emaciated men who own firearms) I've
actually discussed this topic quite a bit.  The immediate assumption made
when I say that I think it should be difficult for people to get guns is
that I think that this will somehow keep weapons from the hands of criminals
or psychopaths.  Of course not.  So far we have no good method of distinguish-
ing criminals and psychopaths from normal folk.  At least, not the really
dangerous ones.

Idiots, however, are a different question all together.  Idiots can be
spotted fairly easily.  And people who are not idiots per se, but have
large pockets of idiocy within them, can have it explained to them before
they try to use a gun.

Leaving myself wide open for an attack by Norman Yarvin, I contend that I fall
into the second category.  I am not an idiot, but I have the hand-eye coordina-
ation of Handi-boy (ObPopCultureReferece included just to bother Geoff).  
However, I was given profuse instructions from Don Baldwin before we hit the
range, and was watched over by the angels of mercy (JZ, booter & Don Pette)
whilst on the range, so I was OK.

Atually, Banta was most helpful.  He told me this neat trick that really seemed
to make a difference - he said "Before you fire the gun, aim it."  I probably
wouldn't come up with a sound strategy like that until I'd had years of
practice.

So I say, make people prove they ain't idjits, and make sure they get training
from big men with lots of testosterone before setting 'em loose with weapons.

My new roomie has a friend JoSH who says we should make education illegal,
and make guns & drugs mandatory - but have the government supply them.
This may be the most effective form of drug/gun control suggested to date.

!Peeve: New roommates with cool friends.

ObPeeve: I'll be 29 on Wednesday, and am therefore nearly at the end of
the trustable period of my life.

Jenny "Menopause is just around the corner" Gutbezahl
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: socks!
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 93 12:26:47 GMT
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
X-Newsreader: rusnews v0.98

dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Jesus Hernandez Christ) writes:
> she: See a loose light?...!   What a wonderful way to learn Spanish!
> 
> (luz = light;  silla = chair)
> 
> Geez, what a dumb way to learn Spanish - or any other language.  This might
> work if all you want to know are 12 words and no grammar when you go to
> Tijuana.  I cannot believe anyone could learn a language this way.  Suppose
> our translator used this technique in delivering a message from the President
> to the Iraqis and we could hear the mnemonic sentences he was using

You should've seen some of the Spitting Image sketches during the Reagan era.
When Larry Speakes became White House spokesman, Spitting Image did a sketch
about how it was part of a new mnemonic scheme for Ronnie.  Nancy was to be
renamed "Larry Wife".

Then there was the sketch about the idiot boards to remind him of the name of
the new Russian premier.  "Gob" -- picture of someone's mouth, "Baa" --
picture of a sheep, "Chef" -- picture of a French cook poking his tongue out.
Ronnie starts the speech... "Er... Mr... er... Mouth Sheep Tongue.  Mouth
sheep tongue?  Isn't he the Chinese guy?"


mathew
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Rush Myth #930
Date: 27 Jan 93 01:41:51 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <9035@news.duke.edu> eyc@acpub.duke.edu (EMIL CHUCK) writes:
>ez012344@chip.ucdavis.edu writes:
[On various observations on the ethnic composition of Rush Limbaugh's
audience...]
>
>Besides I don't think you can necessarily translate the composition of
>his studio audience nor their "behavior" to the radio and television
>audience out there. I also don't think that the composition of the
>audience should matter to you unless you're an advertising executive.


This is alt.peeves. The composition of Rush's audience is of great
importance to peevers. The composition of navel lint is important
if we can get a good, hearty peeve out of it.

Peeve: Young persons who don't appreciate a good Peeve-op when they
see one.

ER
--
Great apes are ok. It's the mediocre apes and the baboons and especially
the lemurs that are trouble.
 	-Henry Troup (alt.folklore.urban)
From: jennyg@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Well Paid in Name Only)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: My trip out West (long)
Date: 27 Jan 93 02:04:33 GMT
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
NNTP-Posting-Host: titan.ucs.umass.edu

In article <lma209INNmdj@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>
>I was actually waiting until you got back before I made any comments
>about That Night.  I hate to say this Jenny, but that was the second
>best party I've ever hosted.

Why do you hate to say it?  And what was the BEST party?

>Dinner menu: Blackened catfish, potatoes, salad

I had been warned that this catfish would give me the shits that burn
like the inferno, and was very disappointed that all I got was a nasty
case of the farts, which I attribute to Bandy's homebrew, rather
than the catfish.

>Amount of salad consumed: none

First off (which Banta always is), I ate ALL my salad.  I need all the
nutrients I can get, it's not easy generating as much volume as I
do.  Secondly, I seem to remember everybody eating a lot of cherry
tomatoes.

Thanks to the lovely Jill Z for the First off line...

>First video viewed: The Quick and the Dead

And no, it isn't about Banta's sex life.

>Number of bodies marked in indelible ink: 5+
>

That was indelible?  I sweated it all off by morning.

>
>Number of people who know what Jenny's tits look like on drugs: 1
>

That's rather obscure, Drew, and furthermore the correct answer is 3.

Jenny G
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
"I'm not cheap, love.  Loud, but not cheap."  - Dil in The Crying Game
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Date: 28 Jan 93 21:19:47 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <1k8kg9INNntn@umbc4.umbc.edu> potler@umbc.edu (Laura Potler) writes:
>>The founding fathers want to trust them.  Were people more situationally-
>>aware 200 years ago?  possibly...  
>
>different set of problems then.

Not really.  200 years ago, the main uses for guns were:
1. Hunting food
2. Protection against wild animals
3. Protection against Indians
4. Protection against governmental excesses, foreign invasions

Now, the main uses for guns are:
1. Hunting food
2. Innumerable sports
3. Self defense (tell me that people didn't need to protect their homes and
   businesses during the LA riot and the aftermath of the Florida Hurricane!)
4. Potential protection against governmental excesses.

   don
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Hyperbolic metaphors bring down the house
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 00:35:25 GMT

In article <ATAYLOR.93Jan22093922@gauss.nmsu.edu> Nosy writes:

><In article <1993Jan21.203337.16313@netcom.com> rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon) writes:
>
><In article <ATAYLOR.93Jan20215359@gauss.nmsu.edu> Nosy writes:
>
><> [ ... ]
><>	Only superficially. The Soviets spilled literally oceans
><>	of blood and of ink to create the "New Soviet Man", a 	
><>	creature that would live the Communist ideal. 
>
><NitPeeve: "Literally", when used as an intensifier, changing the sense
><of a statement to meaninglessness.  
>
>	How so? It is hyperbole to write about oceans of blood,
>	in most cases, but the Bolsheviks killed around 100
>	million people. That's what, 100 million times a couple
>	of gallons?

So that's a couple of supertanker's worth, right?  Some ocean, dude.

Look, what brought this particular peeve to mind was your despoiling
a perfectly good metaphor with the metaphoracide "literally".  When
I hear some dimbulb reporter say something like "Diana Ross showed
a capacity crowd at the Tri-City Arena that she's not dead yet with
a dynamite show last night that literally brought the house down", I
laugh at the mental image.  If John Madden, to pick a name at random,
were to say "That Jerry Rice has got some kind of foot speed, he
literally flies down the field," it wouldn't surprise me, but it
wouldn't make sense, either.

Have I beaten this necrotic mare enough, or shall I change tactics and
kill you with kindness?

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "Loud is good." 
rickg@netcom.com |   -- Frank Loesser
From: obrien@netcom.com (No parking EXCEPT FOR BOB)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Penis control       was Re: More Gun Control
Summary: _tame_ them trouser snakes, JG!
Date: 27 Jan 93 19:38:16 GMT
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)

In article <1k40viINN33j@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM quotes JennyG as having said:
>
>"Guns don't kill people.  People with penises kill people."
>
>				        -- Jenny Gutbezahl
>

  Jenny!  You wouldn't be _complaining_ about "la petit mort" now, would you?


my, my, and I was just begining to think I understood you.

	Bob O'Bob
--
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: KidZ ( was Another "I'm getting old" peeve)
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 03:46:29 GMT

In <1993Jan28.000234.20695@twg.com> cauhape@twg.com (Jeff Cauhape x7147) writes:
                                            ^^^^^^^
[doesn't matter]

Aiieeeee!!!

They are reproducing faster than Dullhousians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Run for your lives!
  -Bill
From: dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong)
Subject: Re: Another "I'm getting old" peeve
Organization: Wang Labs, Lowell MA, USA
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 15:13:04 GMT

geoffm@netcom.com (Turn Your Head and Cough) writes:



>In article <C1FwC3.BBs@wang.com> dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong) writes:

>>I'll be 38 next month.  Which is as good as 39, which is really
>>just like 40.

>>Crap.


>When you kick the bucket, can I have your stereo?

>Geoff

You'll have to ask my ex-wife.  She has it at her house.  :(

Dave
-- 
Dave Bushong, Wang Laboratories, Inc.   Amateur Radio Callsign KZ1O
Project Leader, OCR products            kz1o@n0ary.#noca.ca.na
Internet: dbushong@wang.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves