From: lf01+@andrew.cmu.edu (Liz Fox)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: DOOL: TAN -- The Escape!!
Date: 15 Apr 92 16:12:21 GMT
Organization: Office of the Dean - CFA, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA


[Vix not Lix]
 
Warning -- this post follows the thread of the Peel sisters, Core brothers, and
the net police.  Exit now if you're not interested.  In addition, my
dear sister
Passion probably should exit now.
 
Here goes:
 
Sigh.  What a harrowing week I've had!  BUT, I've lived to tell.  I left last
Wednesday for a trip to San Luis Obispo to attend a hardware class.  I picked
up my rental car and headed off to my hotel.  It was all quite innocent -- at
first.  All of sudden, the doors all locked and the windows rolled up and the
car had a mind of it's own.  I was terrified.  I ended up at what appeared
to be a prison camp surrounded by electrified barbed wire and numerous guards
who I later found out were members of the net.police.  Shudder!
 
At first, I was all alone, but then Spud turned up and later, Lix, Papaya, Baby
Apple, and JoannaDamianna all joined me as prisoners in this horrific place.
What did they want from us?  Why were being punished??  We later learned
that we were to be kept in this sinister place to author posts for the
evil commandant which he would claim as his own.  We never saw his face,
but we were often subjected to his tirades when we didn't live up to
his expectations.  It seems he was a frustrated journalist who didn't have
an original thought in his head and therefore kept us there to be 
creative for him -- among other reasons.
 
There were so many rules about what we were allowed to write that we often
made mistakes.  Spud couldn't use any Italian phrases.  None of us could
say any bad things about the show.  We couldn't bash characters.  We couldn't
carry on threads of discussions.  And most of all, there could NEVER be
any humor.  Humor was strictly forbidden.  It was terrifying.  Spud, Papaya, 
and I faired very badly.  We couldn't conform.  Baby Apple was forced
to write things about the Spectator.  The commandant loved to have posts
about the Spectator.  Poor Lix had to write more Classics.  She was afraid
to tell them that Kiwi was the originator for fear that that fact would
put her in jeopardy.  One time, poor Lix was punished by the most harsh
of the net.police, Innus Ann, for calling a "parking lot" a "car park".
It seems the commandant was furious.  "They will know I didn't write
it!", he screamed.   Only JoannaDamianna faired well.  It was her ability
to write endless numbers of posts that held her in good stead.  In fact,
I had heard rumors that they were looking for her twin Peachy, because she
too is a vociferous poster, but also because they consider Peach Fuzz a
traitor to their cause.  Peach, beware!  I fear for your safety.
 
The commandant's office is filled with terminals, all constantly on-line
to all of the various soap BBSs.  He constantly surveys them and stores
information for re-posting as his own on other systems.  He is truly a
devious man.  One afternoon, after 11 hours of writing posts, Lix and I
were allowed outside.  We saw an NBC van pull up to the commandant's office.
Later we overheard an argument.  Someone was angry with the evil commandant.
It seems that even though the six of us were no longer posting freely
to the net, there were still free thinkers speaking their minds and bashing
the show when it was needed.  The commandant whined, "I can't kidnap all
of them.  There are too many."  A man named Al said, "You must keep these
dissident comments from appearing in public or you will pay!"
 
Things began to become quite grim.  Little Spud and Baby Apple's health began
to fail.  Lix, Papaya and I worried that they might not make it. 
JoannaDamianna
wrote more posts.  I thought the end was near and then, one day, I heard
a loud KA-BOOM!!  The net.police began screaming that they had been fired
upon.  It was mass confusion.  Just then, I saw my Bill running towards
me.  And then I saw Tim and the Evil Vince.  I might have seen Barry and
Tom too.  I'm not sure.  There was smoke and dust everywhere.  The Core
brothers had come to rescue us!  They were so brave, so utterly fearless.
Sigh.  What men!  We all got safely away when we noticed that JoannaDamianna 
was not with us.  PocketBread Pita, er I mean Mr RocketSled, you must go back 
for her!!!  Save her if you can!
 
Lix and Papaya are safely back with their SOs.  Apple is back in school.  Tim,
Spud, and the Evil Vince are involved in a sordid menage a trois in southern
California.  Although, Tim is probably on the trail for Gail too.  Bill and
I are enjoying a secluded and restful vacation together in the wine country
after all the excitement.
 
But let me warn you all, they are out there.  They want to control what you
say and some of them want to steal what you say.  Protect yourselves if you
can!
 
Onion