HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Stephen Litterst)
Subject: Re: Blatant hug request
Keywords: hugs, support
Organization: University of Delaware, Newark
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 18:59:55 GMT

In article <C0Iv9B.9Kt@news.udel.edu> jcarroll@bach.udel.edu (James Carroll) writes:
>This Sat. is my graduation ceremony.  (Yay!)  The only downside (besides

What?  You're graduating? And I still haven't met you?  Blast!  Well, congrats!
I'll be here for a few more years.
>
>I'm not usually forward enough to request hugs, but I have a feeling I'm
>going to need lots of moral support to get through this weekend -- the
>phone lines were full of tension this evening.

Well, feel free to take as many hugs as you want.  If there's a need for
something other than e-hugs give me  ring and we'll see what can be managed.

>
>Well, I'm going to go now before I have too large of an outburst and
>outpouring of emotion.  (Who me? Introverted?)
>
>Thanks all for being here and for support over the months.
>
Hey, thank you.
>-James

					Steve
					*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*
-- 
        ---<[{       .sig in stereo (where available)       }]>---
| Stephen C. Litterst           |  Nice guys finish last...              |
| kyraan@bach.udel.edu           \ 	But we do get to sleep in.       |
|_litterst@freezer.cns.udel.edu___\______________________________________|
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: rwab1@cl.cam.ac.uk (Ralph Becket)
Subject: Happy New Year
Reply-To: Ralph.Becket@cl.cam.ac.uk
Organization: U of Cambridge Comp Lab, UK
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 11:19:39 GMT

Just burning some bandwidth to wish everyone a (belated) Happy New Year!

Ralph.

ps. If anyone can switch the sun back on in Cambridge, I'd be very grateful
    'cos if the weather carries on like this I fear that glaciers may appear
    and turn my house into an interesting, but flat, series of rock
    formations.
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore)
Subject: Re: Bi-wariness
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 17:28:08 GMT

In article <1ieundINNfrl@transfer.stratus.com> pfieland@citron.sw.stratus.com (Peggy Fieland) writes:
>I had a personal experience with bi-wariness last night, and
>it has left me feeling, well, depressed, saddened, grief stricken,
>or whatever.
>
>I've been going to a lesbian rap group. I know, I know, I should
>have been going to the bi rap....  Anyway, over coffee, I got

Actually I think that it is good that you were going to the lesbian rap group.
Just your being there helped reconcile any biphobia in the group.

>to trying to tell the others why I see myself as bisexual.  Since
>I've been through this before, I thought I was prepared for the
>"If you want to be with a woman, why don't you call yourself a
>lesbian?".  What I had a really hard time with was the open, this
>time, admission from a couple of the women, that they'd never, ever,
>become involved with a bisexual, the subtext being, as far I could
>tell, "Even if we were right for each other, I'd never even ask
>you out because you're bisexual".
>
Deconstruct that idea.  Like someone else has said.  ask them why.
Show them the inherent oppresive nature of what they are doing
compare it to the way that lesbians and gays are treated in society.
If they believe in equality and reempowerment then they will
surely reevaluate their stance.  This has always worked when I have
found any GL bigots.  

>It was worse this time, because Saturday I went to my first
>woman's dance.  I had a great time, did some dancing and a lot
>of talking, but felt really broken up again on the way home.
>
hugs and more hugs.

>Maybe it's just one of those weeks, but I'm feeling unusally
>pessimistic, that I'll never find a woman, never move off this
>point in my life.  I'm feeling fragile and in need of support.
>
>Peggy
Hugs good luck and I'm sure things will change.  

-- 
Jim Dilmore - seamus@brahms.udel.edu    or    dilmore@che.udel.edu 
   Deconstruct your Gender          Safe sex doesn't mean no sex.          
Give me life, Give me pain,         It just means use your imagination. 
Give me myself again.  Tori Amos.            Billy Bragg 
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: eowyn@chopin.udel.edu (Zoe Antonia Velonis)
Subject: Re: Bisexual idenity and community (was Re: A hug request and ...) 
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 20:21:09 GMT

In article <C0nMx1.IqD@news.udel.edu> seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore) writes:

[long discussion of the nature of bisexuality deleted, although I may someday
add my gratuitous opinions to it]

>>   So, are you gonna post details?  Or will we have to make things
>>up, and (smiling lazily) post them for you?
>>
>"The only thing worse than being talked about 
>is not being talked about." Oscar Wilde.
>
>BTW, this has nothing to do with Zoe's post.  I know that story too
>but as she my lips are sealed.
>
>I won't say much, but I will quote one of the participants.
>"Look over there.  That's my girlfriend making out with two of my
>good friends."
>:)
>I was a friend.  :)
>>                 ____
>>   david parsons \bi/  "Okay, so I'm a bit of an exhibitionist"
>>                  \/
>Jim "who needs e I'm just a slut" Dilmore.


Jim, when you were one of those who insisted that this was a story that had
to remain censored, I had no idea you would deliberately post inaccuracies,
and compromise your own secrecy!
Goodness...
You'll have to explain that to me.  I fail to see the relevance of
"Look over there.  That's my girlfriend making out with two of my good
friends."  since I am *NOONE'S* girlfriend.  Unless you meant....

Zoe
(grinning wickedly again as she deliberately obfuscates the situation even more)
I eschew obfuscatory morphemes.


 

Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: eowyn@chopin.udel.edu (Zoe Antonia Velonis)
Subject: Re: Bisexual idenity and community
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 20:12:24 GMT

In article <1993Jan11.173411.23150@dcs.warwick.ac.uk> kay@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Kay Dekker) writes:
>In article <1993Jan9.180627.12954@news.acns.nwu.edu> Albert-Lunde@nwu.edu (Albert Lunde) writes:
>>I've been asked via e-mail to offer my views on this thread, so I may
>>pontificate at some length. But first let me say: IMHO IMHO YMMV YMMV 
>>BYOB RSVP SMTP etc... ;)
>
>Barely had Professor Lunde with trembling voice intoned the words,
>the writing of which was now scarcely legible, masked with fresh blood as
>it was, from the scrap of the grimoire found in the mad Arab's tomb,
>and barely had his shaking hand sketched out in the empurpled air
>of the incense-filled crypt that Sign, known by few and dared to be used
>by yet fewer, than - behold - to the accompaniment of tinkling cymbals
>and madly-piping flutes - a congeries of iridescent vapours, toiled
>into shimmering spheres of infinite and arbitrary-seeming dimensionalities,
>the emblem of the dread Yog-Sothoth!
>
>		Kay (sillier than usual today)
>-- 
>the Crisco Kid: quiet, shy, mono, Armani-suited.  Not.  idx009@uk.ac.cov.cck

Definitely Not!
(quiet, shy, etc.) (-:
Kay, when you come over States-ward, we *must* get together and trade 
Lovecraft.  maybe we could do a candlelit reading for Jim, unless he's already  familiar with the God of Horror.

Zoe
(who keeps returning, against her own will, almost, to that one shelf of
books in the old, dusty library tucked into a corner on a back street in the 
unsavory part of Providence; knowing that one day she will summon up her       
courage and find out what her grandfather meant when he warned her of   
batrachian demons, that one day she will part the covers of that ancient
 tome to release the forbidden knowledge.)

You fool, Lovecraft is dead!

 

Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore)
Subject: Re: Bisexual idenity and community (was Re: A hug request and ...) 
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 20:50:35 GMT

In article <C0rCJA.69G@news.udel.edu> eowyn@chopin.udel.edu (Zoe Antonia Velonis) writes:
>In article <C0nMx1.IqD@news.udel.edu> seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore) writes:
>
>>
>>BTW, this has nothing to do with Zoe's post.  I know that story too
        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>but as she my lips are sealed.
>>
Notice the disclaimer.

>>I won't say much, but I will quote one of the participants.
>>"Look over there.  That's my girlfriend making out with two of my
>>good friends."
>>:)
>>I was a friend.  :)
>
>Jim, when you were one of those who insisted that this was a story that had
>to remain censored, I had no idea you would deliberately post inaccuracies,
>and compromise your own secrecy!
>Goodness...

O the accuracy of the above is painfully true.  Mostly because of this
cat's desire to be with the one who was with the maker of the above 
statement.  Yes I checked it that is what I wanted to say.

>You'll have to explain that to me.  I fail to see the relevance of
>"Look over there.  That's my girlfriend making out with two of my good
>friends."  since I am *NOONE'S* girlfriend.  Unless you meant....
>
>Zoe
I understand.  I implied, inferred, mentioned, meant, and said nothing.


-- 
Jim Dilmore - seamus@brahms.udel.edu    or    dilmore@che.udel.edu 
   Deconstruct your Gender          Safe sex doesn't mean no sex.          
If you can't be good,               It just means use your imagination. 
be good at it.  T.B.                     Billy Bragg 
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: gtoal@pizzabox.demon.co.uk (Graham Toal)
Subject: Re: Lifestyle (was Re: Coming out to family)
Organization: Cuddlehogs Anonymous
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 23:24:19 GMT

In article <C0HKnH.B3n@newcastle.ac.uk> J.W.Harley@newcastle.ac.uk (Jon Harley) writes:
:I think there's a distinction to be drawn here, between inclination and
:behaviour.

Inclination, behaviour, and *opportunity* :-(

G
(That's a hint for hugs ;-) )
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 14:16:23 EST
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Purity

In article <93011.124045HOLTONS@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>, Psycho!!
<HOLTONS@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> says:
>
>In article <93007.150703SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>, Graydon
><SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> says:
>>Annoying, sure; I'm afraid I've given up on not being annoying.
>
>We've noticed...  We were hoping for a New Year's resolution...
>
>There's always 1994.
>
>  :)

Well, actually, there was a New Year's resolution a couple of
April's back, that I would stop *trying* to be annoying to see
who blew up.  This is just as annoying as I happen to be, honest.

Graydon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
saundrsg@               "Praise then Darkness and Creation unfinished"
   qucdn.queensu.ca                   - U. K. LeGuin
From: winsor@Not Heresomewhere.out.there (js)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: I'm coming!
Date: 9 Jan 1993 00:27:39 GMT
Organization: Tiny Income
Distribution: world
Reply-To: winsor@Not Heresomewhere.out.there (js)
NNTP-Posting-Host: geek.teng.ppd.ti.com

In article <1993Jan8.082556.13967@netcom.com>, boserj@netcom.com (Jeffrey Boser) writes:

*** This is almost enough to make me wish I wont be in Alaska in
*** a week.  almost. <grin>
*** 
*** ....jeff
*** 

What would make it not "almost" anymore.

(blatant flirt)

john

-- 
signature file
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore)
Subject: Re: Purity
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 02:34:18 GMT

In article <1993Jan1.083649.13361@netcom.com> boserj@netcom.com (Jeffrey Boser) writes:
>
>yeah, roy brought that up to.  I can understand the need to talk
>about these things, but what I find so uncomfortable are all the
>expectations and connotations that are draped over labels that are
>so inaccurate to begin with.
>
Yes, words are important but the context must be remembered.  The context
of the situation and of the person.  The extra baggage is unavoidable.
That is one reason why some eastern traditions do away with it.

>For example, I have been in conversations more than once about
>'what' i was..  and get asked the same questions, like have i
>ever been attracted to a man in my life, that sort of thing.  and
>then the person will give me a label, and i thank them and
>we can get on with our conversation.
>
>Its like Im being issued a name tag for that person.  To fit
>in their catagory.  Even if it is one that isnt that hard to
>wear, I find it uncomfortable.
>
I had a quote in my sig a while back "I'm not a puzzle piece, don't try
and fit me in."  I hate being pigeon holed.  I just avoid the whole issue
if I can.  A tag always is inaccurate.  It never exactly fits.  
It also fits in with the idea that we are really acts and not facts.
The names are static but we as human beings are dynamic.  Just bubbling 
with change.

>
>I can understand how catagorizing is important, I do it myself.
>But I dont understand why sexual catagories have to have all the
>extra baggage.  

As far as sexuality goes try reading Jeffrey Weeks - "Sexuality and its 
discontents"  It has a lot to say about the way  society and sexual identity
are interrelated.

>If I know someone is a physisist, I dont assume
>he doesnt play basketball too, so why should I assume that a
>sexual label is so intrinsic (sp?) to a person that it is all
>he or she is?  And I see this ALL the time.
>
If someone is a physisist you could proably assume they were bad
at basketball though.  Joking joking.

>guess Im ranting and raving again.  ok, Im asking for help..
>is there any thing that can help me clarify these issues
>in my mind?  or do I have to solve this one on my own?
>
>....jeff
>
I am currently taking a class on the politics of sexual identity.  I
have a substantial reading list for it I could send it to you or post it
if there is interest...

-- 
Jim Dilmore - seamus@brahms.udel.edu    or    dilmore@che.udel.edu 
   Deconstruct your Gender          Safe sex doesn't mean no sex.          
Give me life, Give me pain,         It just means use your imagination. 
Give me myself again.  Tori Amos.            Billy Bragg
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk (Ian Watters)
Subject: Bloody Media                            
Reply-To: iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 17:19:00 +0000

>I heard on the News last night that Nureyev had died. I found the way
>they reported it immensely 'interesting' (read 'bloody irritating')

I saw most news programmes that day, which one was this?  I don't remember
any I saw mention his sex life at all... (except implied through "ballet
dancer" <grin> and "AIDS")

---
iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk  |  Hon Secretary of the London Bisexual Group
                              |  c/o BM BI, London, Great Britain  WC1N 3XX
<< Never mind the LBG, *I* disagree with everything here, including this >>

>>>MATRIX version  1.21e
From: june@csc.liv.ac.uk (June Cornelius)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: bi badge wanted in UK:advice?
Date: 11 Jan 93 18:03:28 GMT
Organization: Computer Science, Liverpool University
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]

Hi folks,

	Just a quick question.  I want to buy a nice bi badge - something
like an "invisiBIlity" or a "bi" on a triangle, or something like that.
I live in Liverpool, though I would find it not too difficult to pick
one up from Cardiff or London (The power of contacts ;-) and I want to
know if anyone can give me an idea of where to pick one up (a badge that
is ;-) if all else fails I could quite fancy a pink triangle.  Any ideas?

Yours, 
	June

p.s. That's a nice "bi" badge - not a "nice bi" badge or a "good bi" badge
- now that's got potential! :-)

--
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
  June Cornelius                   june@compsci.liverpool.ac.uk  __  
                "I don't even know what a phase is"              \/  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
From: pfieland@citron.sw.stratus.com (Peggy Fieland)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: muffins anonymous
Date: 12 Jan 93 15:23:45 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Software Engineering
NNTP-Posting-Host: citron.sw.stratus.com


Hi, Renee!  Welcome, and <HUGS> to you.
From: winsor@teng.ppd.ti.com (js)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Bisexual idenity and community (was Re: A hug request and ...)
Date: 12 Jan 1993 23:36:53 GMT
Organization: Texas Instruments
Distribution: world
Reply-To: winsor@teng.ppd.ti.com (js)
NNTP-Posting-Host: geek.teng.ppd.ti.com

In article <C0rFB2.6vI@news.udel.edu>, seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore) writes:
} Hey you got somethin' 'gainst fluff?
} (said in a texan drawl)
Go ahead - make my day, punk.

} >
} You *are* a slut.  (said with all of the appropriate queenings)
Yes, he is.  Two snaps side-to-side.  Swish swish.

} 
} Jim Kann ich Ihnen helfen Dilmore
No.  I am definitely not going to ask.  Not this time.
My stupid questions plague this group enough....

js
But you could tell without me asking...
-- 
The opinions expressed in the above do not reflect those of
my employer, or anybody connected with my employer.  Including me.
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: orc@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons)
Subject: Re: Impossible acts
Organization: Department of Atomic Text Units
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 05:07:11 GMT

In article <1993Jan7.203255.400@dcs.warwick.ac.uk> kay@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Kay Dekker) writes:
|In article <1993Jan5.045643.23334@vpnet.chi.il.us> orc@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons) writes:
|>In article <1993Jan4.232230.4811@nwnexus.WA.COM> elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg) writes:
|>|In article <EFAD8BD9A060005E@TUDOBM.TUDELFT.NL>
|>|     C.G.C.vanDijk@IO.TUDelft.NL writes:
|>|>Do you recognize this feeling of jealousy when watching a cat enjoying
|>|>oral sex with itself?
|>|   Nope.  After all, we can't be sure the cat is _enjoying_ what it
|>|does and hey, some of us humans can do that too, y'know...
|>   (This is not necessarily a good thing; some of us tend to clench
|>our teeth when we come...)
|
|Well, I shan't let you chew my earlobes, then...

  Hey! I'm very good at stopping nibbling on people when I'm about
to come in/on/around them!  It's just that if I'm doing it to
myself, well, there'd be, umm, *something* that I couldn't very
well stop paying attention to, or else where'd be the point of it?

  There is a good subset of the uk.bi population that's still got
working earlobes, even after they've been nibbled upon by a
wandering Orc.  I've got references (even though they'd *kill* me
if I mentioned them, and how they became references ;-)

               ____
 david parsons \bi/ Who doesn't, as a general rule, damage his lovers
                \/
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 20:48:57 EST
From: Ellen <DICKSONE@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Purity
 <93005.234647SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> <1993Jan6.170050.4120@vpnet.chi.il.us>
 <1993Jan7.180947.21747@tcsi.com> <93007.150703SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>

In article <93007.150703SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>, Graydon
<SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> says:
>
>Mike, why does disagreeing with you about a very small subset of social
>tactics and a (probably larger) subset of rules about appropriate
>language use make me obtuse?
>
>Annoying, sure; I'm afraid I've given up on not being annoying.
>
>Graydon
Now don't be grumpy troll, you know (and admit) that you get under
"people's" skins.  Come over and I'll give you a backrub and we'll work
on that "annoying" tendancy of yours.

<quick *smourf*, then initiate bunker sequence>

-El
|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^|
|"I shall surpress my every urge."                                       |
|       -The Tick, when asked to act `normal' when Arthur's sister visits|
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: litterst@pistachio.cns.udel.edu (Stephen Litterst)
Subject: Re: Bi-wariness
Organization: University of Delaware, Newark
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 17:21:58 GMT

In article <1ieundINNfrl@transfer.stratus.com> pfieland@citron.sw.stratus.com (Peggy Fieland) writes:
>I had a personal experience with bi-wariness last night, and
>it has left me feeling, well, depressed, saddened, grief stricken,
>or whatever.
>
   [ narrative deleted to save bandwidth...]
>
>Maybe it's just one of those weeks, but I'm feeling unusally
>pessimistic, that I'll never find a woman, never move off this
>point in my life.  I'm feeling fragile and in need of support.
>
>Peggy

*HUG*  *HUG* *HUG*

Smile?  Please?  In my experience with bi-fems and lesbians I've discovered a
couple of things that may help you.  THere seem to be two classes of gays in
general... Those who went from straight directly to gay, and those who stopped
in with the bi community for a while.  I've noticed that the former tend to be
less accepting of the bi communtiy and the latter (having been there themselves)
are very supportive and loving. There's someone out there for you, I don't
know where, but I know that you'll do fine.  *HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*

					Steve

-- 
        ---<[{       .sig in stereo (where available)       }]>---
| Stephen C. Litterst           |  Nice guys finish last...              |
| kyraan@bach.udel.edu           \ 	But we do get to sleep in.       |
|_litterst@freezer.cns.udel.edu___\______________________________________|
From: winsor@Not Heresomewhere.out.there (js)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Friends and Lovers (was Re: treating men as sex toys)
Date: 7 Jan 1993 23:13:50 GMT
Organization: Tiny Income
Distribution: world
Reply-To: winsor@Not Heresomewhere.out.there (js)
NNTP-Posting-Host: geek.teng.ppd.ti.com

In article <1993Jan7.163651.27410@infodev.cam.ac.uk>, sa121@cl.cam.ac.uk (S. Arrowsmith) writes:
*** muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy) writes:
*** >
*** >In article <1993Jan6.105512.2001@infodev.cam.ac.uk> gdb15@grebe.cl.cam.ac.uk (Guy Barry) writes:
*** >>What do you mean by "emotional partner" (as distinct from a close friend)?
*** >
*** >Well, for me, it really isn't that distinct, actually...*smile*.  I
*** >realized a couple of years ago that the only difference between my close
*** >friends and my lovers was how much I wanted to have sex with them.
*** >
*** It was reasoning along those sort of lines that got me thinking about
*** being bisexual in the first place.  From a somewhat detached(*) viewpoint,
*** I thought "What is the difference between a really close friend and a
*** lover?  The degree of physical involvement, I suppose.  Now, if there is
*** no requirement for sex in a relationship (And it isn't, with me), and a
*** close friend can be of either sex, why should there be any distinction
*** between them?" (Or something like that.)  Blurring boundaries is the
*** first step in breaking them down....
Or, alternatively, you could take an unused ICBM to the blamed things
and be done with the matter all together.

john, who is really shattering his "post only fluff" boundary now...
-- 
signature file
Newsgroups: soc.bi