From: bruce.baer@factory.com (Bruce Baer) 
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: WHY I COULDN'T
Date: 2 Oct 92 20:24:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Invention Factory's BBS - New York City, NY - 212-274-1243v.32bis
Reply-To: bruce.baer@factory.com (Bruce Baer) 

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 . SLMR 2.1a . You are HERE   ----> ! <-----

Bill,
   Yes I have a higher power, who or what it is is irrelavent, This is
   to me a personnal thing and I will not cram it down your throat even
   via request. I am not an athiest, but my concept of higher power is
   not at all traditional or religious. The 12 steps are not something
   to sit and interpret like a Greek to English translation. They are a
   philosophy or way of Life or Religion. They are something you do,
   actions to be carried out. Not argued about. Or avoided as something
   dis-tasteful just because of a word you have difficulty with today.
Let me further do as you ask by giving you "MY" personal experience
with this problem. Upon entry to the rooms of AA (JAN. 10th. 1983)? I
was to put it mildly not interested in hearing about god or any higher
power crap from anybody. To those familiar with the expression F.O.A.D
it was very often heard comming from me. I had heard all about
un-conditional love and the other BS that was at the time being shouted
by the AA guru's. I was fed-up, miserable, angry and stuck there. Where
else was there to go? these people were sober! and that I could not
accomplish on my own. I didn't know much, but I knew that much. I was
stuck. The rest of my life I was sure was going to an absolute misery,
day in and day out with these AA moonies. If the BOOZE & DRUGS did not
kill me, these people were sure gonna make me crazy. Suicide started to
seriosly become an attractive alternative. It was then when I got a
stroke of luck. My sponsors- sponsor (my-grand-sponsor) a wise old bird
with 25 years sobriety percieved my difficulties and offered me a
suggestion. He said "Forget about the god stuff and forget about this
unconditional love nonsense, Learn un-conditional tolerance. Everybody
here has a right to be here including you. There is no rule or
requirement anywhere in any AA material that says you must adopt
some-body elses doctrines or interpretations concerning god or higher
power. The pre-amble is quite clear, read it and shut up. The first step
makes no mention of god at all. It only requires an admission of
powerlessness over alcohol, the unmanageability part, seperated by a -
is a direct result of, or: obvious conclusion to the powerlessness.
There is nothing to figure out, stop complicating things". The man in 5
short minutes had defined the problem :me.  I the great I that I am,
Have to figure it out. I have to be right. I say god or higher power
stinks so everybody else better say so too. So, unconditional tolerance,
this was my first key. Stop figuring & complicating was my second key.
These two keys baught me some time. With this time I went to step
meetings. In those meeting I heard many different perspectives. I did
not always agree, this is not required. What is required :Don't drink-go
to meetings, beginers meetings, step meetings and topic meetings, Get
involved. Stay sober. Give time,time. You are not going to get all your
answers in 1 day, not even 1 year. Sorry it just don't work that way.
God is usually defined in most dictionarys as an omnipotent being. Over
the last couple of millenium the concept has gone through many different
mutations, with no less than a few hundred names the most commonly known
being: Yahwea, Jehova, ALLAH, Krishna, Buddah etc. The name I find is
irrelivent, the "CONCEPT" will vary depending on country, part of
country part of world, town etc. Again irrelivent. The only people who
seem to find this stuff relivent are the ones who are insecure with them
selves and the concept. This whole trip is an inside job. The spiritual
quest is a personal one. Others can offer experience, others can offer
insight, They can share there experience, stregnth and hope with you.
They can not go on the trip for you. Your quest must be your own. Stop
figuring. Stop anal-izeing, get off your anal and do.
     In conclusion, The steps are a set of instructions to help you
     achieve some sense of BALANCE in your life. It tells you quite
     clearly in chapter 5 of the Big Book. These are ideals. You are not
     expected to do it with any sense of perfection. Requirments are
that you be Honest with Yourself and that you put in some effort and
legwork. Rewards are also PROMISED as explained in the BIG BOOK: Freedom
from among other things the Bondage of SELF.
                                                          BAB

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 . SLMR 2.1a . You are HERE   ----> ! <-----
      
Newsgroups: alt.recovery