From: nwickham@nyx.cs.du.edu (Neal Wickham)
Subject: My first experience with a Texas Skiier!!
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 92 23:03:37 GMT

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Keywords: rude texans, stay home billy bob


I am from S. Idaho and when I moved to N. New Mexico I had really never
even heard of a Texas Skiier.  You don't have to live in New Mexico for
very long, however, before you begin realizing that being Texan is some-
where on the social scale between biker and child molester.  I didn't
really take it serious at first.  In Idaho, its all those Californians
coming up there and trying to Californicate Idaho.  But Idaho's dislike 
of Californians is not very deep or serious.  And I assumed that the
dislike of Texans in New Mexico and Colorado was much the same.

Then one day I went skiing for the first time in New Mexico.  I didn't yet
know any other skiiers so I decided to drive up to Santa Fe Ski Basin by 
my lonesome self.  It was the typically sunny New Mexico morning and I
was just a little nervouse in anticipating skiing New Mexico for the
first time.  Then this car, a fairly new grey Porche, starts to pull
out in front of me from a side road.  I hit the brakes thinking I am
going to hit.  But the idiot at the wheel looks to see that there is
a car coming (ME) and stops with only his front end out on the highway.
I go by only slightly out of control and other than my feathers getting
ruffled, there was no harm done.  But then this Porche is following
me up the mountain.  It gets close. ...like right on my ass.  I am
going plenty fast.  I study the couple in the car.  They look pissed
at something.  Not me;  I guessed they had been fighting with each
other or that they were just sort of perpetually pissed off at life.
I didn't like them right up on my ass so I tapped the brakes a few
times to let them know.  They fell back a couple of hundred yards.
I began to relax again and enjoy the drive when I happened to glance
in the rear-view again just in time to see the Porche coming at me.
The guy's eyes as he built speed and closed the gap on me had that
wirey devilish excited look to them.  He came screaming by me.  The
female was sitting back in her seat.  Her head was back and her sick
smile and double chin expressed her slight amusement at her lover's
driving bravado.  It pissed me off. ...just they way the whole thing
went... .  It just really pissed me off.  And as the Porche went 
blazing down the road ahead of me I saw what later became a symbol to
me of everything that is wrong with American society: a Texas licencse
plate. 

In spite of that Texas driving bravado, I arrived in the parking lot
just behind them and park next to where they do becuase there is about
to be a problem.  I am having these uncontrolable fantasies of punching
these evil looling lights out.  (And I don't think anyone considers me
to be a violent person.)  But they get out of their Porche acting all
goofly and stupid knowing that I am standing there waiting.  He is 
especially acting goofy and postrated with one of those shit-eating
grins on his face.  His legs were about the size of my ski poles.  She
was fat and frumpy and looked to be seriously constipated.  They sort
of ignor me as they fumble around acting goofy/happy getting their
stuff.  They just knew that they could act and look so pathetic that
I couldn't take them seriously.  It worked.

I saw them several times that day mostly in the lodge where they might
be having a beer and acting bad and beautiful.  They always spotted me
and seemed to be on their best behavior.  Neither one could ski worth
a damn of course.  They were so bad, in fact, that I couldn't even take
any pleasure in showing them how people in Idaho ski.  I had pretty much
forgotten them but guess what happens on the way back down the road.
You guessed it.  The grey Porche with Texas plates comes screaming by.
I was ready that time.  It hardly bothered me as I saw him scare the
drivers of the cars ahead of me.  Geese!  I really understood why 
people in New Mexico hated Texans.  This was only my first experience.
I later had others.  I don't think all Texans are rude and pissed off
at life, but after a few more ecounters, I was complaining about Texans
just like every other New Mexico resident.



                                       NCW 
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