From: tfpayn01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu
Subject: Re: Common Sense and Participation
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 20:56:36 GMT
Organization: University of Louisville

In article <1993Jan7.194816.21260@cbnewse.cb.att.com>, elonich@cbnewse.cb.att.com (diane.e.pedersen) writes:
> In article <16B4DBDA0.CREECH@LSTC2VM.stortek.com>, CREECH@LSTC2VM.stortek.com (Teresa Creech) writes:
>> In article <19930105101523SASTLS@mvs.sas.com>
>> Tamara Shaffer <SASTLS@mvs.sas.com> writes:
>>  
>> >>in article <208@dpfe.UUCP> David R Huddleston Sr announces:
>> >>
>> >>I have been involved in EVERY activity each of my 3 children are in.  I
>> >>am a Scoutmaster, gymnastics judge, Band parent, School Parent, etc,
>> >>etc..  I have seen over the past 13 years, a major lack of concern by
>> >>the "professional" parents of today.  Send the kids to daycare,
>> >>latchkey, "let's go party - the kids will be fine", etc..  Then the
>> >>wonder why in the heck their kids get into trouble.
>> >>
>>  
>>  
>> I think that parents who have the dedication, temperment, etc to stay home
>> full time with children, be scoutmaters and school aids, and not have
>> outside activities are WONDERFUL.  They have a more stressful life than
>> I do, they work hard.  They have all my admiration. BUT - I couldn't do it.
>> Does this mean that I don't love or want my kids - NO!!!!!  It just means
[..much deleted..]
> so that the other people can do some volunteer work.
> 
> But I believe that everyone who has kids in volunteer-supported
> activities should try to do what they can to help out.   And with
> more and more parents employed outside the home, we also need to
> pool our creativity (and change society so that flextime becomes
> the norm) if we want to keep these opportunities alive for our kids.
> 
> 
> helping with scouts deosn't meean they
> -- 
> Diane Pedersen
> AT&T Bell Laboratories
> Naperville, Illinois
> att!ihlpe!elonich


	I'm a soon-to-be father (7mos), and I've been researching this subject
for about 15 years now...

	Research and my OWN research/observations have shown a definitive split
in this discussion.  Professional parents CAN have healthy
(mentally/physcially) children.  Stay-at-home parents the same.  There IS NO
DEFINITIVE solution to the dilemna of how to deal with the kids;  they're
different in their needs as anyone else.  One child might benefit wholly from
mon-n-dad being gone all day...I've several friends that were like this, and
they're on my top ten list of persons I admire for their life skills.  And yet,
there's another whose parents were involved heavily in her activities, and yet
she's just as strong and able as her male counterparts.  

	Children simply need to know that they're loved and wanted.  That
they've got Mom-n-Dad on their side.  That's it.  It's that easy.  I know, I'm
a SOON-TO-BE parent, and there's a lot of difference between saying and doing,
and only experience can truly teach.  But we ARE all human beings, yes?  We all
have those certain basic needs proscribed by humanity.  

	Nothing's foolproof, there's no ultimate way of raising a child.  In
fact, raising my child isn't going to be the hard part.  It's the first 1-1 1/2
that scares me to death!  

	I've seen both sides of the coin as a child and as an adult (I'm 25
now, though I don't feel it yet!)...Children are all the same in this regard. 
It's not the toys, it's not the foods, it's not the TV shows.  It's how they
feel about themselves that's important, and that comes directly from M-n-D, and
how THEY feel about themselves and about Jr.  I'll be frank, this pregnancy is
definitely NOT planned, but I realize the implications of any negative images
the baby EVEN AT THIS STAGE may contract.  Children need a moderated happy
atmosphere for proper maturation.  And this comes from the single-minded
dedication to your child's happiness.  Sounds easier than doing, with all the
stresses you have to deal with every day?  Yes and no.

	Yes, it all comes crashing down at the exact moment Jr. decides it's
time to play rocket ranger throughout the whole house, running and screaming.

	But no, just take a deep breath, see things from his perspective.  Life
is new and full of all these exciting things.  Yes, he does need temprament so
he doesn't get too carried away, but don't restrain that enthusiasm for life.

	Just my thirty-five cents (hey ma, I kin git me a milk at lunch!)


-- 

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>>         Picard / Riker '96                                              <<
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