From: sterling@netcom.com (Bruce Woodcock)
Subject: New Song Parodies
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 92 01:23:01 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Summary: Take It On The Mud, I Want A New Mud, Along Comes A Mudder, Addicted To Mud
Followup-To: rec.games.mud.misc

A couple of years ago, not long after I started mudding, I was on my way to
Balticon and was listening to Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" when my
twisted mind decided I could write a song parody called "Addicted to Mud."
Shortly after "Mudder's Rhapsody" was posted I wrote up my parody and posted
it as well, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Since that time, a bunch of other song parodies have been bouncing around in
my brain, but I never felt I could get them quite right.  Well, after finally
sitting down for a few hours and working at it, I've finished three new song
parodies, which I have so graciously decided to share with the net at large. :)
Also included is the corrected version of "Addicted to Mud" for the benefit of
both people who have it and those who do not.

At this point, I've started thinking over collecting such pieces of mud songs,
poetry, short fiction, and other such paraphernalia and putting them all up
for ftp someplace.  Feel free to email any comments, contributions, or site
offerings to me.

Okay, okay, enough talk... and btw, it helps to listen to the song when you
read the parody.

Bruce

==============================================================================
              Take It On The Mud   By:  Bruce S. Woodcock (1992)

        To the tune of Take It On The Run   By:  REO Speedwagon (1980)

Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a sysop you've been mudding around

They say you've got a modem
You stay in every weekend
They're talking about you and it's bringing me down

Well I've heard of tinysex
And talk is cheap on the terminal annex
And the words grow erotic on down the line

What I'm telling you, babe
Is that I don't think it's true, babe
And even if it is, keep this in mind

You take it on the mud, baby
If that's the way you want it, baby
Then I don't want you around
I don't believe it, not for a minute
Your life is a dud, so you take it on the mud

You're thinking up your sexy descs
You're writing up your bedroom texts
You say you're logging off but you won't say when

Well I can hear your thrumming
I can see your client running
And you'll need never log off again

You take it on the mud, baby
If that's the way you want it, baby
Then I don't want you around
I don't believe it, not for a minute
Your life is a dud, so you take it on the mud

(instrumental)

Take it on the mud, baby
If that's the way you want it, baby
Then I don't want you around
I don't believe it, not for a minute
Your life is a dud, so you take it on the mud

(repeat)

Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a sysop you've been mudding around

==============================================================================
==============================================================================
              I Want a New Mud     By:  Bruce S. Woodcock (1992)

    To the tune of I Want a New Drug   By:  Huey Lewis and the News (1983)

I want a new mud
One that's not based on types
One that won't go crash my client
Or throw away all my gripes

I want a new mud
One where I can build
One that won't make me learn some language
Or make me join a guild

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One where they won't tell me
To go get a clue
Why don't you get a clue

I want a new mud
One that doesn't have kill
One that's not all creeping features
Or a vapor written by Phil

I want a new mud
One that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day

One that's not an Unter
MUCK, MUSH, or MOO
One where they won't tell me
To go get a clue
Why don't you get a clue
Why don't you get a clue, baby

(instrumental)

I want a new mud
One that saves when it should
One that won't make me lag too bad
One that won't let me spam too good

I want a new mud
One with no 'bots
One that won't make me go to hatchings
Or revamp Star Trek plots

One that won't make me furry
Like mammals in a zoo
One where they won't tell me
To go get a clue
Why don't you get a clue
Why don't you get a clue, yeah yeah

(instrumental)

(fade)

==============================================================================
==============================================================================
            Along Comes a Mudder    By:  Bruce S. Woodcock (1992)

          To the tune of Along Comes a Woman    By:  Chicago (198?)

There is a time when a student has homework to finish
Homework to finish, a program that's due the next day
(All busy) nothing seems to matter
(So busy) doesn't get much better
(Can't explain) something that you're doing
For the very first time

There was a time when you knew how to program in Fortran
Program in Fortran some code that would always compile
(All busy) suddenly you see him
(So busy) know you can't stand him
(Can't explain) something that you're running
For the very first time

Then along comes a mudder
There's a change in the way that you're feeling tonight
Then along comes a mudder
And you know it's not right

There was a time when you needed a system to count on
You need a system to count on, a system with MIPS
(Now he's here) system load ain't lower
(He's so near) everything runs slower
(Can't explain) the contempt you're feeling
For the umpteenth time

Then along comes a mudder
There's a change in the way the system's running tonight
Then along comes a mudder
And you shudder with fright
(And you shudder with fright)

The along comes a mudder
There's a change in the air that you're smelling tonight
Then along comes a mudder
And your fingers clinch tight

(instrumental)

Then along comes a mudder
There's a change in the way the system's running tonight
Then along comes a mudder
And you shudder with fright
(And you shudder with fright)

The along comes a mudder
There's a change in the air that you're smelling tonight
Then along comes a mudder
And your fingers clinch tight
(And your fingers clinch tight)

(fade)

==============================================================================
==============================================================================
               Addicted to Mud    By:  Bruce S. Woodcock (1991)

         To the tune of Addicted to Love    By:  Robert Palmer (1985)

 The net is up - so you're not home;
 Your mind - is not your own.
 Your client starts - your body wakes;
 One more connect - is what it takes.
 You can't eat - you can't sleep;
 There's no doubt - you're in deep.
 Your fingers ache - but you don't heed;
 Another mud - is all you need.

 Whoa... You like to think that you're immune to the stuff;
 Oh yeah?
 It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough;
 You know you're gonna have to face it:  You're addicted to mud.

 You see the words - but you can't read;
 Your modem's at - a different speed.
 Your fingers type - in double time;
 One more connect - and you'll feel fine!
 A one track mind - you can't be saved;
 Your mudding life - is all you crave.
 And if there's room - on your machine,
 You'll run your own - Mud Supreme!

 Whoa... You like to think that you're immune to the stuff;
 Oh yeah?
 It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough;
 You know you're gonna have to face it:  You're addicted to mud.

 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.

 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.

 (instrumental)

 The net is up - so you're not home;
 Your will - is not your own.
 Your client starts - the load climbs;
 Another mud - and you'll be mine!

 Whoa... You like to think that you're immune to the stuff;
 Oh yeah?
 It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough;
 You know you're gonna have to face it:  You're addicted to mud.

 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 Might as well face it you're addicted to mud.

 (repeat)

 (fade)
==============================================================================

-- 
|   sterling@netcom.com    |   How To Play Truth or Dare - as told by Druid   |
| sterling@maria.wustl.edu |    Civilized Rules - Everyone asks each-other    |
| sirbruce@gnu.ai.mit.edu  | questions and eventually ends up in one big orgy |
| bwoodcoc@nyx.cs.du.edu   |  FurryMUCK Rules - They skip the questions part  |
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