HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jive@spanky.ssc.gov (Jim Ivey)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Date: 9 Apr 92 19:24:51 GMT
	<1992Apr9.153217.14011@cbnewse.cb.att.com>
Distribution: usa
Organization: SSC Laboratory, Dallas, TX


In article <1992Apr9.153217.14011@cbnewse.cb.att.com> hjanssen@cbnewse.cb.att.com (hank janssen) writes:

>   This is getting fun.

     This is getting stupid.

>   I guess you also don't hold Hitler responsible for  the  second  world
>   war. Just imagine him saying, I am not responsible for anybody's elses
>   actions. Only my own.
>   B.llSh.t, without him there would not have been a second world war. 

     This _is_ stupid.  Completely irrelevant.  Another case of using an
unrelated story which has truth in it, but no bearing on the argument.

>   Also  without you, the people would not have had a reason to brake up.
>   So it damn well makes you (at least, partially) responsible.

     If she is willing to consider going out with someone else, then she
must already have a reason to break up.

>   The above logic, It isn't my fault, they did it. Is a screamer.

     The above isn't logic.  It's a bad comparison of two unrelated topics.

>   So  you  also  don't  have  any  problem  if  i  would  take away your
>   girlfriend/wife or whatever. You would not think anything off it.

     Of course he would have a problem with it.  I would have a problem
with it.  This time you're twisting his words and falsely extrapolating
their intent (Geez..  I didn't mean for the words to be so big;-).  I would
be _very_ hurt, if the person I love left me for someone else.  But it is
_her_ decision.  The only thing I fear from a third party is forcing her to
make a bad decision (i.e. seducing her while intoxicated, etc.).  If she
loves me and is happy with our relationship, she wouldn't consider leaving
me for someone else.  If she does, then it is _our_ fault, for not working
more on our relationship (or perhaps, just having irreconsileable (sp?)
differences).

>   Sad, very sad.

     These comments are generally worthless and irritating.  How can you
judge someone else to be 'sad', when you aren't secure enough in your
relationship to trust in your SO's (RP?;-) judgment?  She's just as much of
an individual as you are, and shouldn't be forced or required to do
anything.

>   Sorry, but i just had to explode here. 
>   (Ducking for flames now.)

     Hope you've got a concrete bunker like the one I built after my last
posts;-).  Seriously, the only reason I responded to this message at all is
that you sound almost as arrogant as I came off as in my messages a few
weeks ago;-).  Try to 1) not judge people so harshly, 2) leave out the
absurdium examples, which only sway the casual reader, and 3) refrain from
sticking in editorial comments like 'sad'.
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Ed and Teresa  (Carp ????)
Date: 15 Apr 92 17:37:00 GMT
Article-I.D.: lims02.15APR199212373448
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <4905@naucse.cse.nau.edu>, dan@mvaxcs1.cse.nau.edu (Dan McMichael) writes...
>From article <1992Apr11.093743.10544@willamette.edu>, by ppinkard@willamette.edu (Patrice Pinkard):
>> I think we should let Ed & Teresa work it out between the two of them.  What
>> do you think?  It doesn't REALLY involve anyone other than E & T. 
> 
>I'd say all of this belongs in E-mail.
> 

Dan and Patrice,

*This* is alt.romance. The above thread *is* a romance (of sorts) going on 
right in front of our eyes, with an implied invitation for all of us to 
join in the magic of two people getting to know each other, and the 
resulting horseplay.  It's *not* quite cutesy enough to move to alt.romance
chat yet, and the involved parties are editing the posts to keep them 
short and to the point, so what's the harm ? 

*Personally*, I'm having a great time with this one, and I find it more fun 
than the Sanctity of Relationship thread which is bordering on `Neurotic 
Possessiveness' these days. *That* puppy went into my kill file days ago 
along with the `Romance=Hitler' thread, and, if this one bugs you, why 
don't you just do a `k' on the subject line ?

We won't change it... *promise* ! :-)

-- Stephen 

(The only two valid e-mail addresses from now on are ...)
afdenis@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov,  afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov
.. boring .sig follows, press n to skip it.

	Never regret a *choice*.  Rather, save your regrets for the
	choices you *didn't* make.
From: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Romantic music list
Date: 16 Apr 92 00:29:57 GMT
Article-I.D.: usenet.1992Apr16.002957.3083
Reply-To: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)


In a previous article, esper@cs35b.cs.umn.edu (Dave Sherohman) says:

>_beautiful_ waltz) which I would guess is named "Open Arms".  I have no idea

	It's one of my faves, too. I think Journey did it, but it could
be Genesis....

						Tom

-- 
"I know I'm going nowhere,			Tom Davidson, CWRU '95
"and anywhere's a better place to be."		IRCnick: Cupid	
		--Harry Chapin			MUSHnick: Nicodemus
From: csuat@csv.warwick.ac.uk (Pete "Ganders" Favelle)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: PARADISE
Date: 10 Apr 92 23:55:41 GMT
Organization: Computing Services, Warwick University, UK
Originator: csuat@lily


on 10 Apr 92 12:23:17 GMT,
lm89@ecs.soton.ac.uk (McIlhoney L) said:

> Today is perfect.  Well almost ...

> Southampton's normally torrential weather has been replaced by warm
> sunshine and the air is heady with the smell of cut grass.  Beautiful
> women (all, alas, attached - and who'd look at me anyway?) are everywhere
> wearing briefer and briefer outfits and I am feeling good ...

Sounds like it's happenin' all over the UK then - I think it's called `spring'

*8-) 

> Two things required for it to be perfect:

> (a) Don Henley "The Boys of Summer" to be played at full volume on
> someone's ghetto blaster in the background.

YES!!! One of _the_ greatest songs of all time...

> (b) To have someone to make me drinks, and for me to make drinks for,
> and to hold and go swimming with, and to laugh with, and to join me
> in singing songs I don't even know the words to ...

> " ... and how I wish I was in love."  (Peter Green)

> Otherwise I'm quite happy!

> What's your idea of a perfect day, anybody?

Weather like today, a special person, and a beach. That's all...

(oops! nearly forgot the sunset - better be a west facing coast!)

Hugs,

Ganders
--
	      "There's no time for us, there's no place for us."
     "What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us?"

-- 
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=<
#	     cstxqcv@dcs.warwick.ac.uk / csuat@csv.warwick.ac.uk	     #
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=<
Xref: sparky alt.romance:7138 soc.singles:11349 soc.couples:2134
From: mcregor@s.psych.uiuc.edu (Meloney Cregor)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples,soc.singles
Subject: Re: lying to oneself
Date: 10 Apr 92 22:37:11 GMT
Distribution: world,soc
Organization: Dept. of Psychology, Univ. of Illinois, Urbana

In article <1992Apr10.132739.28809@hemlock.cray.com> robd@cray.com (Robert Derrick) writes:

>Well, Meloney, I get the impression that you perceive me to be quite
>young and perhaps overly optimistic.  Whether you mean it or not, I
>take it as a compliment, and offer a hearty thank you.

Age is not always a matter of chronology, it is a matter of life experience
as well.  If you have never encountered such people, then I envy you and
you should consider yourself fortunate.

>As for gory details, I'd like to know of one, True, instance, gory or
>no.  As to whether it makes no difference to you, I think that you would
>not have spent so much time responding, if the subject was not just
>a little important to you.  Why do you, personally, feel so strongly
>about it?

The subject may be important to me, but whether you believe or not, is not.

>I'll tell you why I feel strongly about it.  If a person can be said to
>be truly lying to themselves, then they thru some twisted set of
>rationalizations can absolve themselves of responsibility for their
>actions.  That is precisely why we try to lie to ourselves.  If you

Bingo.
But, there are *indeed* _some_  who believe their own lies.  One cannot be
so lenient as to exclude the pathologicals.  We are all pathological in
some respect or other.  Some more than others.  Some serious, some not.
Nobody gets out of here without being a little fucked up.

It's one of the rules in the game of life.  No passes.  No forfeits.
Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
From: rbook@swordfish.owlnet.rice.edu (Robert A. Book)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: brenda
Date: 16 Apr 1992 22:05:38 GMT
Organization: Rice University

In article <92104.133031SC687405@ysub.ysu.edu>, SC687405@ysub.ysu.edu writes:

> friend and she told me that Brenda was now married with children(AL BUNDY #1)
> I was bummed and depressed.  One week ago today I was leaving the lounge   in
> [...]
> Problem #3-Her marriage isn't the picture of stability
> Problem #4-My mom is freaking out that I"m even talking to her and is
>            quoting the Bible way to much to me.
> Problem #5-I keep seeing and meeting her-I'm probably screwing up any
>            Chance she and her husband have of making their marriage
>            work.
> So now since no one here can offer any worthwhile advice -I turn to the
> net for some response be it bizarre or not.


Hey, cool it.  When someone else is married, my feeling is that that
marriage is important, and you have a responsibility not to upset it.
It's OK to be bummed and depressed -- that's natural.  But at this point,
there nothing -- at least, nothing honorable -- that you can do about it.
If I were in your situation (I've been in similar, but not quite so blatant,
situations before), I'd just sort of stop talking to her, or at least 
reduce the frequency.  If you run into her, just turn the other way.  
(If she keeps seeking you out, then I don't know how to handle it.) 
As for you, just try to let the flame cool.  If you think about her, try
to think about the past, not what you think the future might hold (i.e.,
try to avoid fantasizing about what might happen).  If, at some point in
the future, her marriage completely falls apart and she gets divorced,
THEN, and only then, after a suitable interval of time (months), you might
start talking.  My advice:  Don't hope for this to happen, and get on with
your life.  You lose some, you win some.

--Robert 
  rbook@rice.edu
From: kchu@uop.uop.edu (Kwei-Cee Chu)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: C'mon, people....
Date: 11 Apr 1992 23:46:36 UTC
Organization: University of the Pacific, Stockton, CA [138.9.200.1]

In article <1992Apr9.204958.18504@usenet.ins.cwru.edu>, ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson) writes:

> 	Please, let's say something romantic. We sound like high school
> gossips.

She starts it, a lonely note against the stillness of the room, and it
warms and descends into a simple melody, fighting back the cold silence
that haunts the room...At just the right time, I join her, taking up the
melody as she takes up a beautiful counterpoint.  Sound overcomes sight;
the entire universe is my music and hers...we trade melodies, and the
sound intertwines in the air more than our bodies ever could, triggering
feelings more profound than could ever be described by word.  Harmonic
tension rises, and I've just discovered that my violin is a long lost part
of me which has reattached itself...the music becomes discordant, and my
mind screams because it is so wrong and at the same time so right...our
music weeps an ocean of tears, and is transfigured into almost unbearable
ecstacy...I could die right now, but the music has to go on...we no longer
exist; we have become the music...the end is near, but I don't want it to
end, but there it is, that last perfect note, and it is done.  I find tears
in my eyes, and look over and find tears in hers.  She puts her violin down
and we embrace, and silence once more takes the room as we leave.

Kwei-Cee Chu			I do not do .sigs!
kchu@uop.uop.edu		!sgis. od ton od I
From: deane@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Rebel Without A Clue)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Ed and Teresa  (Carp ????)
Date: 16 Apr 92 02:17:12 GMT
Article-I.D.: news.1992Apr16.021712.25969
Organization: Institute for Astronomy, Hawaii

In article <4905@naucse.cse.nau.edu> dan@mvaxcs1.cse.nau.edu (Dan McMichael) writes:
>From article <1992Apr11.093743.10544@willamette.edu>, by ppinkard@willamette.edu (Patrice Pinkard):
>> I think we should let Ed & Teresa work it out between the two of them.  What
>> do you think?  It doesn't REALLY involve anyone other than E & T. 
>
>I'd say all of this belongs in E-mail.
>
>-dan

	Yes, please. Without any nastiness to any involved, could you 
move it to a.r.c?
	Thanks for your consideration.
		A lurker

--
James "Rebel Without A Clue" Deane          Institute for Astronomy
deane@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu                2680 Woodlawn Dr
"My God, it's full of *s!"                  Honolulu, HI 96822
	Grad Student/Astronomer/Diver/Mac Technician
From: erc@pogo.Corp.Sun.COM (Ed Carp)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Ed and Teresa (Carp ????)
Keywords: Let's mind our own business
Date: 16 Apr 92 01:56:04 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: pogo.corp.sun.com

In article <15APR199218584511@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov> afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes:
 
>I was talking about the 45 seconds leading up to it ...

That's after the loooooong plateau...HIGH plateau :) :) :)

>>Oh, where's your spirit of fun, Stephen? :)
 
>It left town on the same train as my libido. :-(

Awwwww.....see my violin?  No?  Wanna borrow my
magnifying glass? :) :) :)
--
Ed Carp                                      415/336-0797 (work)

++ UNIX  SysAdmin, Systems  Programming  Services,  Utilities ++
++ and Programmer Productivity Tools                          ++
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: hevern@u.washington.edu (M. Hevern)
Subject: Re: It's Whine Time Again...
Organization: U.W. Information Systems
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 22:14:35 GMT

> I've been waiting for *this* one.  Simply because *I* think that we are mis
> -using the term "nerd".  According to Mr. Webster a nerd *is* a jerk!  
                   ^^^^
How about "Geek"? Or as my dad likes to introduce me to his friends "My son the Computer Dweeb".

Does Mr. Webster have anything to say about that? (I'm to lazy to look(: )

-- 	MH
       *--------------------------------*------------------------------*
       | Michael Hevern			| Voice: (206) 685-3229        |
       | University Of Washington	| * "I can't dance...          |
       | Information Systems		|    I can't talk...           |
       | 4545 15th Ave. NE		|    The only funny thing about|
       | Seattle, WA 98105		|    me is the way I walk."    |
       | Mail Stop: JE-41               |       -- Genesis             |
       *--------------------------------*------------------------------*
	Disclaimer: If I said it I probably meant it.  My employer isn't
		responsible for my opinions.
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: robd@cray.com (Robert Derrick)
Subject: Re: lying to oneself (was Re: Sanctity of relationships)
Distribution: world,soc
Date: 9 Apr 92 10:16:44 CDT

fred says:
: I write:
: >	remember, you can lie to me, to her, to him, to everyone,
: >	but you can't lie to yourself.
: 
: Not true. People lie to themselves all the time. And they believe their lies.

Then I wish it were true for me.  Or perhaps we have a misunderstanding
about what it means to "lie to oneself".  I can't do it.  I can be
confused.  I can and often do, misunderstand.  But if I try to lie to
myself, it's a no go.  I know that I am lying, and there just is no
way I can convince myself of a lie that I already know is a lie.

I agree with you that people "lie to themselves all the time", but I
don't think they are very successful at believing it.  Though it
doesn't stop 'em from trying.

I would say, if feel a little guilty about something you convinced
yourself was a good idea, then you lied to yourself, and deep down,
you know it.  'course, I could be wrong...

rob

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: rrosenberg@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: POOPEY
Organization: Clark University
Date: 11 APR 92 00:48:42 GMT

HEY, DAVE, THIS IS A LONG SHOT.  IF YOUR READING THIS - WELL, I MISS YOU.
IF ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE READING THIS - TELL HIM.  THINGS ARE GOING WELL,
BUT I STILL HUG YOUR STUFFED FOOTBALL. LOVE,
                                        REBECCA
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bogus@milton.u.washington.edu (Young and Wealthy)
Subject: Part-time lover
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 18:27:24 GMT


Hello, I was the one requesting the compatibility test for those of you who
remember.  Now after about 2 make-out sessions, me and my SO decided to be
secret lovers and not boyfriend/girlfriend.  We both enjoy each other but
we are not ready for a formal relationship.  Are there anyone who have done
this?  I want to know how it's going to work out.  Oh, BTW, she keeps on
telling me that I should look for someone else, what could that mean?

You angel of music
-- 
If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of
arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the
physical world.  One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker
entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
From: stcroix@ultra.com (Bill St. Croix)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Reply-To: stcroix@ultra.com (Bill St. Croix)
Organization: Ultra Network Technologies
Distribution: usa
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 92 07:07:42 GMT

In article <1992Apr10.155721.19833@cbfsb.cb.att.com> sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein) writes:
>In article <1992Apr10.131827.6746@cbnewsi.cb.att.com> Brian.C.Kohn@att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality) writes:
>>
>>I think this is because some *evil* men, like Mr. Stein, *do* actively
>>try to break up relationships in order to woo women, (j/k Steve! :-) )
>>whereas women do not do this.  Women are much more civilized than men.
>>
>Being that I have never set out intentionally to break up a relationship
>totally invalidates your point.  I have however been persued by women
>who were dissatisfied with the relationship they were in and ended that
>relationship either prior to or at the beginning of a more fullfilling
>relationship with me.  (Not that I am the perfect mate, but obviously
>better than the one they were in.)

Obviously you aren't the perfect mate, Steve...they aren't still with you,
are they? :+)

>I think it's time that you self persecuted people stop blaming the
>"other guy" for the wrong you brought upon yourselves.

No Steve, it's time that the "other guy" gets a conscience and realizes that
doing what he does to please himself is doing lots of damage to others.

>>Not me.  Never been burned, and very secure in my relationship.
>
>I'm not convinced.  Otherwise you would not be sooooo worried about
>other guys "stealing" your SO away from you.

I'm convinced!  Steve, it's people like you that don't think anyone elses
opinion matters but your own that ruin peoples lives.  You are in it for 
what you can get.  Why can't you take this guys word that he is secure in 
his relationship???  It's guys like you that tell women that "No" means
"Yes"!

>					Steve

	Bill

---
I don't believe in the stars or the planets or angels watching from
above, but I believe there's a Ghost of a Chance, we can find someone to
love and make it last...
Xref: sparky alt.romance:6755 soc.singles:10668 soc.couples:1951
From: lm89@ecs.soton.ac.uk (McIlhoney L)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Date: 8 Apr 92 10:45:51 GMT
Distribution: world,soc


I have come to the conclusion that it never pays to try to woo someone
away from someone else.  My story (in VERY brief):

Last year one of my closest friends was in a relationship which was
unhealthy in certain ways (I still believe this).  The problem was
made worse when I fell in love with her (head over heels).

My morality on this is that one should never steal, especially if
it's going to hurt someone, so I decided I would not try to woo her
away, however much suffering that would cause me in (a) my own jealousy
and (b) watching her getting damaged.

But, to use a rather cliched excuse, my hormones got the better of
me and I tried anyway.  There were minor successes and failures but
in the end ...

Result, a year later:  we hate each other.

Lawrence
From: tjg01@thdhub.UUCP (Terry Gardner)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I need some ideas!
Date: 16 Apr 92 20:23:13 GMT
Organization: The Home Depot, Inc.

praetzel@tesla.waterloo.edu (praetzel@tesla.waterloo.edu) writes:
: Hello everyone!
:     I have a question for you and I hope someone out there has some good 
: ideas.
:     I met a guy here on the NET about 2 weeks ago. He is a really nice guy,
: and we seem to have a lot in common. The only problem with it is that he
: lives a good distance away. I am in Buffalo, NY and he is in Charlottesville,
: VA. 
:     Well anyways, I want him to know that I am thinking about him up here.
: Does anyone have any suggestions?
: Thanks
: Tricia
: v130qrub@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu 

E-mail each other frequently. Works for me (boy does it ever!)

-- 
Terry Gardner, terry@thdhub, terry%thdhub@uunet
Senior Network Systems Programmer @ The Home Depot, Inc.
404-433-8211 x 5124 Message Generated with GNU Emacs 18.58...
Aborting, Retrying, Failing, and Ignoring.....
From: cs132093@cs.brown.edu (Mark "?" Prince)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Sanctity Twist
Date: 16 Apr 92 14:43:32
Organization: Department of Computer Science, Brown University
NNTP-Posting-Host: cslab1f.cs.brown.edu
In-reply-to: pashdown@javelin.sim.es.com's message of Tue, 14 Apr 1992 21:13:08 GMT

Pete Ashdown writes:
?>
?> ***Story deleted about dating someone with an SO.***
?> 

You have to be calm and collected about it.  I have read at least some
of the responses to your post...

What you need to decide is:
	Can you back away enough for her to make a decision?

Pressuring her into making a decision one way or the other is bad.
She needs to do this herself.  If she doesn't realize, tell her how
you feel and let her know you are there for her...AND THAT YOU ARE
CRAZY ABOUT HER...but you are having trouble coping with her second
relationship.  Still, you must do it in a way that she sees as not
only sincere, but helpful.  If she knows exactly where she stands with
you, she can make a much better decision.  You can't force your
emotions on her, which is why you must stay removed, but open.  A
friend would do that.  (Do you want to be a lover but not a friend?)

In a nutshell, she must decide, and abide by her decision...she is the
one who will have to live with the outcome, for better or for worse.

	Good luck...keep me posted.

		"Just some advice from a" QuestionMark

--
  _ QuestionMark _   "I don't want the   ((((((((((((((((?))))))))))))))))
 ( )    >>>>    ( )  world, I just want  Internet:   cs132093@cs.brown.edu
  (    (/OO\)    (   your half."         Bitnet:     st102207@BROWNVM       
  o     \__/     o      --They Might     Internet:   Mark_Prince@brown.edu
                           Be Giants     ((((((((((((((((?))))))))))))))))