HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
Subject: Re: Kids Getting Braces
Keywords: braces, suggestions
Date: 9 Apr 92 06:52:48 GMT
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California


The best thing about braces is scheduling your orthodontist appointment
during major tests or your least favorite classes.  Tell your kids about
this trick and they may see the positive side.  (By the way, my
orthodontist was a wannabe singer.  He used to stick the cast goo in
my mouth and then perform.  I was so embarrassed for him, but I'll never
forget him.  And every dentist I ever go to since has commented on how
lovely my teeth are).

-- 
I finally decided what I want on my tombstone...

	"Here lies Judy Leedom Tyrer.  The world will never see another like 
	 her.  We are undecided on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing."	
From: mort@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Jeff Mortensen)
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 10:39:27 GMT
Subject: Re: teen with eating disorder
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens

In alt.parents-teens, lazarea@mercury.ncat.edu (Andy Lazare) writes:

> my 14 yr old daughter has an eating disorder. we were not aware of it
> until the school councelor called us. a couple of my daughter's friends
> had told the councelor. she told us my daughter had signs of being
> bulemicbulemic (sp?). 
	There is one major thing that you can do which might help
	some.  Don't buy junk for her to eat.   When I mean junk
	I mean any fat foods such as non diet pop, potato chips and
	junk like that.  Reduce all your fatty foods, and do not give
	in when she begs for crap food.  Tell her if she wants that
	stuff she will have to buy it herself.  
	This may sound simplistic but I had a sister who had these 
	same conditions you mentioned here.  My folks tried this ploy
	and it got to the point where she could not pay for the junk
	food, and as a result lost weight and started to feel better
	about herself.  Image problems can cause this disorder.
	Try it for a few months, it may even improve your health as
	well.  It may help!

Jeff Mortensen

Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens,alt.child-support
From: rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix)
Subject: Re: starting a family young.
Date: Thu, 09 Apr 92 02:47:57 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Distribution: na 



>>We do not have enough money to pay for insurance, school, and the baby.
>
>Sure you do. You just don't know what you are going to go without, yet.



I thought that all of Gregory's advice was great! But this was
priceless!

When my daughter was 3, I was divorced working a minimum wage job. The
cost of rent and day care were more than I made. I don't know how I
did it!! 

But it makes for great story-telling later on, Makes you kinda proud
when you see the obstacles you overcame to be successful, doesn't it?


rf
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: AS.DCB@forsythe.stanford.edu (Dan Blomquist)
Subject: Re: Out-Of-Control; kid or adult....
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 20:59:37 GMT

In article <qhlj+qn.rfelix@netcom.com>,
rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix) writes:
>
>
>I have one way I treat all people. I treat my daughter and fiance as I
>treat my clients, friends, associates etc. I can give you the formula.
>If you like any part of it, use it, if not discard it al and best
>wishes:
>
>Robbie goes on to explain what she lives by........
>
>
>4. Live every day as though it were your last.
We learned this with our daughter 7 years ago.  But it really was
not her, it was just a beginning for her, she was healed in the best
way I know of.

>6.Look for your own part in every problem. Apologize for your part and
>take responsibility for it. Assume that you play a role in any problem
>you have with another person.

I heard somebody explain this once.  Everybody usually accepts about
15% of the responsibility, that leaves 60% which is the hard part.

Dan
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix)
Subject: preventing the spread of Aids
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 92 02:48:26 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

I got this from sci.med.aids


Excerpted and summarized from the Bay Area Reporter, San Francisco, 
California.


----- AIDS SPREADING FASTER AMONG HETEROSEXUALS

According the Health Secretary Louis Sullivan, a million Americans are
infected with HIV, about one in 250 people.  The rate is around 1 in 100
adult males, and 1 in 800 females.  Every 13 minutes, another person is
infected.

In San Francisco, it is estimated that 1 in 12.5 males and less than 1
percent of females are HIV positive.  Males 13-35 have a 12 percent
infection rate; males over 35 have a 43 percent infection rate.

The CDC estimates that 40,000 more americans will be infected during 1992.
About 60 percent of HIVers have significant immune impairment.  CDC
estimates say that 480,000 cases of AIDS will have been reported by the end
of 1993, with 340,000 deaths.

The number of infections among heterosexuals went up 20.6 percent from 1990
to 1991, IV drug users went up 9.8 percent, and homosexual men went down
0.3 percent.


 
_______________________________________________________________________



40,000 people will be infected this year. 

The way things are they will likely die from AIDS. It will likely be a
slow, painful death. They will probably live for several years with
the anguish that they are dying. On top of this, some will be
ostracized by society and their own families. Most will exhaust their
resources and many will die penniless. Many will die alone.

One person saved from a death like this is a wonderful thing.

rf







 



Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: anne@cco.caltech.edu (Anneliese Lilje)
Subject: Re: Minors right of access to contraceptives?
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 19:51:44 GMT

In article <18799@ravel.udel.edu> chryss@ravel.udel.edu (Christina M Hamilton) writes:
>
>
>
>Yes, AIDS is not a problem in schools YET, so shouldn't we prevent it
>from being one?

Are you SERIOUS????? AIDS *IS* a problem in the schools here in Los Angeles.
In some cases I have heard that ~ 2% of the high school students in some 
downtown L.A. schools are HIV positive. Since we are dealing with a 
DEADLY disease...2% is WAY too much. And the problem will continue
to get worse as time goes on. You can pretend tht AIDS is not a problem
in the schools. But in reality there is already a generation which will
see many of their peers die from a disease because their parents, teachers
and guardians assumed that there was no problem with AIDS in the schools.


>Abstinence is a good approach, but realistically it is not taught often
>enough, and is practiced even less frequently.

45% of all high school seniors (and I would bet it's higher than this
in MANY places) are sexually active. And from what I understand more than
50% of these kids DON'T use condoms. First let's get them educated
about what AIDS is an why it is so deadly, and then get them into using 
condoms as quickly as we can. 

anne



Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: zane@ddsw1.MCS.COM (Sameer Parekh)
Subject: Re: Parental Rights (was Re: Runaways)
Organization: ddsw1.MCS.COM Contributor, Chicago, IL
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 03:00:36 GMT


	I think much of the problems with the kids have to do immensely with
the corruption of the power structure at every level.  The power structure
teaches some good values, but then it turns and teaches that pot will turn
you into a lunatic, that cocaine makes one addicted in 30 seconds, and then
when the people grow up and learn the trurth they reject THE ENTIRE system
which was taught to them, INCLUDING the good aspects of the system.  It's
happening to me...
-- 
Sameer Parekh zane@ddsw1.MCS.COM zane@infopls.chi.il.us| 
ap.3684@layout.Berkeley.EDU ___________________________/
___________________________/ STOP The War on Rights
Restore liberty in the United States - Vote Libertarian 1992
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens,alt.kids-talk
From: rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix)
Subject: Re: Minors right of access to contraceptives?
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 92 23:12:17 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <18799@ravel.udel.edu> chryss@ravel.udel.edu (Christina M Hamilton) writes:
>
>
>
>Yes, AIDS is not a problem in schools YET, so shouldn't we prevent it
>from being one?

Great suggestion. It is important to remember that there is NO CURE
for AIDS. The only option we can pursue is prevention.

When it looks as though a cure is nowhere in sight the only way to
stop this is to make sure there is no new infection.

>
>Abstinence is a good approach, but realistically it is not taught often
>enough, and is practiced even less frequently.

Right. Abstinence is one approach that will work for some people.
Condoms are another approach that will work for some others. Enhanced
testing of the blood supply and continued monitoring is another
approach for another risk group. Needle exchange will help some.
We need to find the methods to fight AIDS on every front.

Even the most harsh critic of all risk groups agree on one thing, that
is the absolute innocence of babies born with AIDS. If a single child
is saved the anguish of being born with AIDS it should be enough to
get us off our moralistic soap boxes and start fighting the disease ,
not it's victims.

rf
From: lazarea@mercury.ncat.edu (Andy Lazare)
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
Subject: eating disorders
Date: 10 Apr 92 15:51:05 GMT
Distribution: alt.parents-teens
Organization: North Carolina A&T State University

we have found out from the councelor at my daughters school that she has
a eating disorder. the councelor told us she was a potential bulemic
(sp?).

we have made an appointment with a psychologist who specializes in
eating disorders. has anyone had any experience with this. either as a
parent or suffered from it yourself? 

she is a little overweight. she eats a lot when she is home by herself
and probably when she is at a friends house. it amazes me how much
teenage girls eat. when there are one or two girls spending the night
with my daughter, it seems the are always eating something. my daughter
is the only one among her friends that has a weight problem.

do you think it would help if we sent her to a weight loss clinic
instead of a psychologist? or is it more complicated than just loosing
weight? i haven't read anything about eating disorders (i am going to
though) so i don't know much about it. any thoughts would be
appreciated.

thanks
andy

-- 
andy lazare                  internet  lazarea@garfield.ncat.edu
n.c. a&t state univ                    lazarea@mercury.ncat.edu
greensboro, n.c.             bitnet    lazarea@atsuvax1.bitnet
 
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Subject: Re: Run-aways
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California
Date: Tue, 07 Apr 1992 01:00:58 GMT

In article <1992Apr03.065931.10329@NeoSoft.com> narc@NeoSoft.com (John Lightsey) writes:
> 
>  Anyway, I live in a relatively rich suberb of Houston, and about 1 in 4
>of the people I know have been to various Mental-Health clinics.  Some
>realy needed help, some obviously didn't.  Let's see.....
> 
> [list of friends and their experiences with mental health facilities]

Let me add one data point to your extensive research.  I was what you term
as a self-mutilator.  I prefer the term "cutter" which has now been added
to the diagnoses available.  Whenever things got really, really tough I'd
take a razor blade to my wrist.  I didn't want to kill myself, just watch
all the blood pour out of my body (and into a 5 gallon Sparklets bottle for
some weird reason).

I went into intensive psychotherapy in my mid-20s at the suggestion of a close
friend (it was the THING to do in those days in Manhattan).  I credit my
therapist with my life.  The experience turned my life around COMPLETELY.
I started in Manhattan and developed enough mental health to move to Southern
California where the weather is livable.  Most of my therapy was here.  I
spent 4 years with one woman and I went 6 days a week.  Yes, it was incredibly
expensive.  And worth every damn penny.

Now there are some major differences.  First, I did this on my own and paid for
it myself.  I think that was a great motivating factor.  Second, I was no longer
a teen.  But, I honestly believe that if I had gotten professional help earlier,
my life could well have changed.  Psychotherapy is EXTREMELY painful.  It is
to date the hardest thing I have ever done and I include 4 pregnancies, two 
fetal deaths, the death of my mother, and running and operating and watching
my own restaurant go bankrupt.  

Maybe the problem isn't the mental health facilities per se, but that the kind
of commitment it takes to really face yourself and be willing to change is
incredible.  It takes enormous inner strength.  It takes a dedicated therapist.
Maybe teens are still too busy blaming their parents, their schools, and 
everything outside themselves for their problems.  But after you've travelled
the country and discovered "Wherever you go, there you are." and there is no
one left to blame, then perhaps is the time to get serious.  

But it is hard as parents to wait and let children discover these things.
The school of hard knocks is very unforgiving.  Lots of people die there.
All the parents want is to spare their children.  Some kids just won't let
themselves be spared.


-- 
I finally decided what I want on my tombstone...

	"Here lies Judy Leedom Tyrer.  The world will never see another like 
	 her.  We are undecided on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing."	
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: AS.DCB@forsythe.stanford.edu (Dan Blomquist)
Subject: Re: Minors right of access to contraceptives?
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 17:03:35 GMT

In article <92106.021306AUCHV@ASUACAD.BITNET>,
<AUCHV@ASUACAD.BITNET> writes:
>
>It is a sad impression I get of this country and its values when issues like
>this come up, and it is made clear that nobody is willing to learn.
>
>     *  "The principles of lust are easy to understand:
>     *  do what you feel... feel until the end."
>     *                            -- Enigma
>     *_________________________________________________

Just what I said before - DO WHAT YOU FEEL, whether right or wrong
it has to feel good!!!!!
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: shedevil@vix.com (Anne P. Mitchell)
Subject: Re: eating disorders
Organization: Fathers' Rights & Equality Exchange
Distribution: alt.parents-teens
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1992 03:15:27 GMT

In a recent missive lazarea@mercury.ncat.edu (Andy Lazare) tells us:
*we have found out from the councelor at my daughters school that she has
*a eating disorder. the councelor told us she was a potential bulemic
*(sp?).

[some stuff deleted]

*do you think it would help if we sent her to a weight loss clinic
*instead of a psychologist? or is it more complicated than just loosing
*weight? i haven't read anything about eating disorders (i am going to
*though) so i don't know much about it. any thoughts would be
*appreciated.

Andy,

I have *no* experience with this in any aspect, but I do sense having
read that much of this is triggered by a person's *perception* that
they are fat and ugly, even when they aren't.  Therefore I would be a
bit concerned that sending her to a weight loss program could actually
*reinforce* that perception ("Why would mom and dad send me to a
weight loss program unless I really AM fat?")

You might want to cross post this over to alt.support...I know that
there are some members there who have admitted to having to deal with 
an eating disorder.
-- 
    LOOKING FOR: Michael Hobson, Alex Craven, David Runyon, & Lorna Taylor
I am: Anne Mitchell, mom, law student, shedevil@leland.stanford.edu or @vix.com
     	  founder of FREE, the Fathers Rights and Equality Exchange.
 The fathers' rights paper & FREE files available via ftp: gw.home.vix.com;/pub
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: ssner@convx1.lerc.nasa.gov (Noel Roberts)
Subject: Re: 8 year old hates 3rd grade math
Keywords: teacher, math, hate
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 12:33:16 GMT

In article <holly.40@mailhub.scf.lmsc.lockheed.com> holly@mailhub.scf.lmsc.lockheed.com (Holly Wise) writes:
>My 8 year old daughter hates math.  She gets excellent grades in every 
>subject but math.  The teacher says it's not that she doesn't know how, but 
>she will sit and stare at her belly button instead of doing her work in 
>class, especially if work involves more than 1 step, i.e., adding and then 
>dividing.  I give her extra at home and she whines and complains the whole 
>time.  If she gets it wrong the first time, she complains even more.  I'd 
>like to make her like it, if possible.  Is there anyway to make it fun?  I 
>started her with a tutor (only 1 session so far), and she hates tutor and 
>cries during her visits with her.  She said she's not used to so much math 
>and doesn't see why she should learn it.  I've explained all the reasons 
>math is necessary to no avail.  Any way to turn this attitude around?
>-----
>holly@mailhub.scf.lmsc.lockheed.com

Try using everyday examples.  Does she like to help in the kitchen?  Maybe
you could create some math problems in the kitchen.  Money is alway an
excellent way to help teach math skill.  No one wants to lose money because
they can't count change.  I guess what I'm trying to say is put math in
real life context and hopefully she will begin to see the importance of it.

Noel
ssner@convx1.lerc.nasa.gov
From: may@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Dolores May)
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
Subject: Re: Kids Getting Braces
Date: 8 Apr 92 13:00:49 GMT
Reply-To: may@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Dolores May)
Organization: Annapolis Facility, Carderock Division, NSWC

>
>Just a tip: when the retainers come... *never* wrap them in a napkin.  Those
>little buggers are expensive to replace!

My daughter went into braces 3 1/2 years ago....Her teeth were just
horrible.  She was 12 1/2 and hardly ever smiled a "open mouth" smile.
Her self confidence was really LOW.  She really WANTED to get them
"fixed".  I found that her teeth moved to the proper position very quickly,
and within a couple months I couldn't imagine that it would take 2 1/2
years to finish the job.  She was very "religious" in her routine...never
missed an appointment....took very good care of her teeth.  They turned
out BEAUTIFUL....and so has she.  It was the best money I ever spent...
it totally changed her....she has a great sense of self confidence in
her looks.  She used to be "chubby"...and dress sort of "loose"...(if
you know what I mean).  Now she is 16, takes good care of herself....
dresses nice, is not afraid to try anything.  I attribute many of her
areas of growth to two things....SPORTS...and getting her teeth "fixed".

We have discovered a great way to NOT lose a retainer....DON'T LAUGH...
it is for girls only.  My mother use to put a few dollars down in her
bra whenever she went out....I think she use to be afraid that someone
would steal her purse...and she might need money to get home.  I suggested
to my daughter that she "slip" her retainer in her bra.  She can never
walk away from it....and she hasn't lost one yet....more than a year
later.  She has shared this idea with friends...and they have found
it to be GREAT!  I guess boys could get "creative"...and .....!?!?!?!?

One parent to another.....
Xref: sparky alt.parents-teens:624 alt.child-support:1092
From: 00rggraham@bsu-ucs.uucp
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens,alt.child-support
Subject: starting a family young.
Date: 7 Apr 92 22:26:59 GMT
Article-I.D.: bsu-ucs.1992Apr7.172659.5787

Sorry about the cross-posting.
I have a confession.
My girlfriend is pregnant.
I am not ashamed.
We are proud.
We are keeping the baby, much to the dismay of my and her parents.
Abortion never entered the picture.
It is our decision. We will live with it.
We are not asking for support from either side and have decided that -- if it
comes to it -- we will give the child up for adoption if our financial
resources run out.
See, I am merely a sophomore in college.
My girlfriend will enter college in the fall.
The baby is due in November.
We have agreed on boy-names, but disagree on girl-names.
My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other since 1990.
I used to love my girlfriend.
I _really_ love her now.
I was going to give her an engagement ring for her graduation and ask her to
marry me.
We've spoken of marriage before.
I believe that a child is a stronger bond of two people than marriage would
ever be.
Marriage is paperwork.
Religious marriage ceremonies are preposterous and pompous.
Organized religion is a loss of individuality.
We have been buying things for our house.
We are now saving for our future.
She is Baptist, I was raised Catholic.
We both have grown beyond our original religions.
We see no need to get married now.
Her mother's insurance would not cover her delivery anyhow if we did marry.
We do not have enough money to pay for insurance, school, and the baby.
I feel like I am ready for this.
I used to not, but we talked to a woman at a counseling agency specifically
about teen-pregnancy.
We are a bit more confident now.
It is difficult to be confident when parents are unsupportive.
Remember that with your children.

Does anyone object to this situation?
If so, why?

Ross Graham in Muncie, Indiana
Ball State University
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
From: ekman@netcom.com (Crossly the Glad-Eyed Bear)
Subject: Re: Parental Rights (was Re: Runaways)
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 92 22:52:34 GMT
Organization: Home for the Terminally Infirm
Distribution: na 

In article <1992Apr10.151331.16232@wdl.loral.com> gjs@wdl30.wdl.loral.com (Gregory Scott) writes:
>Even though I agree with most of what you have said, I MUST disagree
>with you last statement.  There is much more that society can do to
>help parents.
>
>1.  Parents must have some mechanism by which they can be absolved 
>of legal responsibility for out of control off spring.
>
>Under current law a parent can be jailed if a child does not attend
>school.  However, what can a parent do if (s)he drives the kid to
>school and the kid walks across campus to a friend's house without 
>even entering a classroom?
>
>2.  Parents must have a mechanism by which they can prosecute their
>off spring for actions that would be considered crimes if committed
>by someone else.
>
>In a previous post, someone (Was it you, Robin?) talked about her
>daughter trashing her house and the law would not (could not) touch
>the kid.  The kid is out of control. The parent ends up paying for
>the repairs to the house and replacing the damaged goods.  The law
>HELPS the kid get away free.
>
>As you point out, A 16 yo can emanciapte him/herself without much
>difficulty; but parents have no such legal escape route.
>
>Parents Have Rights Too! (or should have)
>Greg Scott
>gjs@wdl1.wdl.loral.com

Some years ago the California Welfare and Institutions Code was changed
to protect the rights of children.  The effect is obvious; children  can
do anything they want with impunity, parents are powerless to do
anything about it, and parents are still responsible for whatever their
children do.  You can thank your legislators in Sacramento for this
sorry state of affairs.  I'm curious to know whether other states have
followed suit.
-- 
Crossly the Glad-Eyed Bear              ekman@netcom.com
Home for the Terminally Infirm, Redwood City, California
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens