From: James.Womack@f71.n382.z1.fidonet.org (James Womack)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Deaf and Me
Date: 13 Apr 92 21:20:33 GMT
Reply-To: James.Womack@f71.n382.z1.fidonet.org
Organization: FidoNet node 1:382/71 - BitStream, Round Rock Tx

Index Number: 21100

[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]

from: Karen Keil
To: James Womack
subject: Me and We and Deafness

[K It's difficult for me to express just what I feel about the
Deaf  culture in relation to myself.  (Mixed feelings,definitely.)

You expressed this well, thank you.

[K I did  [Knot hate sign language when I encountered it....I just
felt left out, not knowing the language, stories and other
components of the Deaf culture.

That's natural anytime an "outsider" tries any group, Deaf or
otherwise. There is  period of showing a group why you should be
included. It happens with sports teams, girl cliques,missionaries
in foreign lands, and new corporate employees. It's human nature.
Conceited perhaps, but typical of the species Homo Sapiens.

[K   I never hated Deaf people---it was just that I felt
frustrated not having a common ground with them--not even common
interests, e.g. discussing books.  I felt that many Deaf people
were  not versed in the culture ofthe hearing world (don't know how
else  to term it) and that they were short-changing themselves by
isolating themselves as a separate Cultural group with nothing
shared with other human groups, not even fluency in written
English.

I understand. I felt the same way until I met a lot of deafies with
Deaf parents who were serious readers. There is variety among Deaf
people as there are among any other people.  Some Deaf people seem
to be  living embodiments of stereotypes heaped on us (just as
members of some other minorities and women seem living embodiments
of stereotypes of their groups), but they are not necessarily
representative of the group entire. That's why I feel blessed to
have traveled and lived in various places in the USA and met such a
wide variety of Deaf people.

[K Also, some Deaf people came across undoubtedly seem simple and
naive to some hearing people, especially  in the social area.  Even
now, I'm still learning things about  social aspects that most
people have learned years ago.

You see, Karen, here is where you differ from other folks I discuss
these topics with. You say you are yet learning about us. You
haven't waved us off and condemned us for simply being different
than yourself and seeing nothing wrong with being so. Every social
group of people could use more of your way of thinking.

[K There are many things I like about the Deaf culture--the sign
language is beautiful and poetic and I want to learn more of it.

You even have something nice to say about ASL. Too many others are
so busy damning it that they just  encourage the animosity of Deaf
people. They continue to belittle us. So as a Deaf person, I can
appreciate your appreciation for that aspect of our difference.
Thank you.

[K Many of the Deaf experiences are the same as mine---being
isolated  where sound is required--e.g. telephones and not being
able to communicate with hearing relatives this way, etc. There are
some  things I don't like about the Deaf culture--its
exclusiveness.....

We are no more excluded than foreign language users such as
non-English speaking Hispanics. Their concerns are being addressed
by the educational system via bilingual education.  Despite that,
like Deaf people and ASL, Bilingual education continues to take
hits by staunch opponents. Opponents who belittle the Spanish
Language and propose various political arguments against it.
Central most is the argument that Hispanics are too lazy to learn
English. They should stop using Spanish then they would get
educated. Naturaly,l Hispanics resent this. Deaf people are no
different. If we are isolated, it's because the education system
failed us and it has nothing to do with our culture. The system
isn't ours and our R E A L participation isn't welcome at this time
despite lip service to the contrary and the exceptions in a few
isolated pockets of progressive programs.

[K  I don't like being labelled negatively as a 'hearie' ( a deaf
person who acts like a hearing person) and having this be implied
as 'bad.'

Every group, yours included, has a name for "they." You may not
like the label, but it doesn't mean you're automatically bad.
People refer to each other by impressions they get from others. It
is a social phenomenon prevalent in humanity. In it crudest form,
we refer to it as name-calling. As a social phenomenon, it
essentially identifies the "they" as opposed to the 'we." Americans
are among the leading users of this tendency. I don't know why, but
we are. Maybe because of the historically multi-cultural mixture of
our country. A mixture that isn't the melting pot we'd like to
believe.  Consequently, distinctions are maintained among groups;
hence,labelling is maintained. We can try to refrain from it but
the combination of human tendency to categorize and cultural
ingrained mannerism will win out. We can keep apologizing like
crazy but we'll still label. The sin is when we do it out of spite
instead of merely to categorize for identification purposes. This
is where name-calling comes in. They take on the form of racial
slurs, sexist language, and worse. It's then you that labeling has
taken a step too far. I know the people here who use "hearie,"
"deafie," and the like don't use it in the sense of put downs. If I
saw that, I'd be among the first to decry it even if that person
and I see eye to eye on all other topics. Even if it meant
alienating an ally. It's just too wrong to ignore. So Karen none of
those I am familiar with here use the terms as put downs.

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