HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: leeba@mot.com (Leeba Salzman)
Subject: Oops
Reply-To: leeba@mcil.comm.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Communications Israel Ltd., Tel Aviv
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 07:22:31 GMT


I can't imagine why people feel the need to tell their kids whether
they were planned or not.  Anyway, wouldn't it be nicer to use the
term "surprise" instead of accident?


From: erik@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Erik Lode)
Date: Wed, 4 Nov 1992 23:57:19 GMT
Subject: Re: Our parents and spanking  Re: 20/20 and Spanking
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: misc.kids

shack@cs.arizona.edu (David Shackelford) writes:

> I have an unusual (?) suggestion.  My rule is no hitting EXCEPT AS
> PUNISHMENT.

> What if the victim were given the right to retaliate via a spanking.

> 1)  If the victim is physically capabile of smacking the culprit,
>     help the victim to spank the culprit an amout equivalent to
>     the original offense.  (With appropriate lecture eg "You hit
>     your sister and hurt her.  That wasn't nice.  To pay for what
>     you did she gets to spank you")

  I think the kids will soon discover that Sibling A can tease Sibling B
until finally Sibling B hits Sibling A.  Then Sibling A runs crying to
the adult and gets to spank Sibling B.

> 2)  If the victim is too young, spank the culprit yourself, giving
>     the same explanation.

  From what I'm told, my older sister was very good at getting my older
brother spanked in the manner mentioned above.

> It's probably too strange for anyone to go along with it.  I haven't
> had the chance to try it out yet, but probably will someday.

> Dave

  Somehow I feel uneasy about a parent-sponsored program of children
punishing each other.
From: ephraim@think.com (Ephraim Vishniac)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Cute things they say
Date: 5 Nov 1992 16:02:47 GMT
Organization: Thinking Machines Corporation, Cambridge MA, USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: charon.think.com

In article <1992Nov5.054755.4193@telebit.com> brunner@telebit.com (Eric Brunner) writes:
>In article <1992Nov4.183525.11300@sjsumcs.sjsu.edu> kellum@sjsumcs.sjsu.edu (Ken Kellum) writes:
>>Rachel reached up for the little square piece of cloth which
>>keeps ones hair grease off the chair (I have no idea what one calls
>>this) and put in over her little sister's head.

>Antimascar.

Close, but not quite: it's antimacassar. Macassar's was a brand of
hair oil, I'm told. 

antimacassar (an ti ma cas sar; an <y1> ti <en> m <x2> <en> kas <x2> r) n.
1 n.
        a small covering, usually ornamental, placed on the backs and
        arms of upholstered furniture to prevent wear or soiling;
        a tidy.
Etymology:
        ANTI - <u6> MACASSAR(OIL)
-- 
Ephraim Vishniac    ephraim@think.com   ThinkingCorp@applelink.apple.com
 Thinking Machines Corporation / 245 First Street / Cambridge, MA 02142
        One of the flaws in the anarchic bopper society was
        the ease with which such crazed rumors could spread.
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: klbrubak@athena.mit.edu (Kaye L Brubaker)
Subject: Taking Baby to Meeting?
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 00:20:35 GMT


I'm supposed to give a talk on my research at a scientific meeting in San
Francisco in December.  I am currently breastfeeding Simon (3 mo on Thursday).
My advisor (I'm a grad student at MIT) has noticed that I'm getting stressed
about the meeting, and has offered to give the talk for me; I would still be
first author on the paper.  Some of my colleagues advise me that it's very
important to keep MY face with MY research, so I would like to give the paper
myself, if possible.

If I go, I'll be there for four nights (Wed, Thurs, Fri, & Sat) to get the low
air fare.  I'll attend the meeting Thurs & Fri, and have Sat for touring and
visiting.  Taking my husband along isn't an option, we can't afford the airfare
and loss of work time.

Question:  Should I take Simon to the meeting?

Has anybody done this?  As far as I can tell, the meeting planners have not
organized child care, so I'd have to do it on my own.  [I don't have the energy
to raise h*** about this issue right now, but maybe later... :-) ]

If I don't take him, will four days apart mean the end of breastfeeding?
(I think I can pump enough to supply him with breastmilk while
I'm gone, and my husband is willing to give it a go.)  I have a battery-operated
pump to take with me, so I'm not worried about keeping up my production, just
about Simon losing his appetite for me!

I have followed some of the postings & replies on flying with babies, but I'd
also appreciate advice on whether this is recommended at this age.  (I have
tentative reservations for a ~6-hour direct flight, Boston -> S.F.)  What about
lugging baby & luggage around airport, unfamiliar city, hotel, etc....?

Please reply by e-mail:  klbrubak@athena.mit.edu
From: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: More Odd Sayings
Date: 6 Nov 1992 01:59:24 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc12.ins.cwru.edu


     Along the line of weird things parents have to say to their kids,
I called my cousins to say 'hello' and remind them to call my Grandpa on
his birthday, since they're so busy they often forget.  Anyway, Dan was
talking to me, and he suddenly said: "Matthew, get my socks off the ceiling
fan!" (He said Matthew was motioning like he was going to turn it on, but
I think he was fooling.)
-- 
Doug Fowler: dxf12@po.CWRU.edu  : Me, age 4 & now: "Mommys and Daddys & other
   "Thou shalt love God with all: relatives have to give lots of hugs & love
thy heart...*and thy neighbor as: & support, 'cause Heaven is just a great
thyself*." Luke 10:27           : big hug that lasts forever and ever!!!"
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: alice_bertelson@pts.mot.com (ALICE BERTELSON X2572 P7331)
Subject: gestational diabetes
Followup-To: gestational diabetes
Reply-To: alice_bertelson@pts.mot.com
Organization: Paging and Wireless Data Group
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 20:13:45 GMT

In article 15552@tc.fluke.COM, article@tc.fluke.COM (John F. Berkey) writes:
>
>My wife was recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes. What
>I'm told is that this is not all that uncommon nowadays, however
>the doctor said that there is a 60% chance that she will still
>have it after she gives birth, and if it does go away, theirs still
>a 50 to 60% chance that it will return later in life.
>
>She is currently on a vary strict diet, and not liking it to well
>but trying. Basically she has to eat six times a day and vary small 
>portions. The doctor gave her a book that contains a listing of
>"Taboo" foods that she is suppose to avoid.
>
>If the diet doesn't work then she will have to start 
>monitoring her blood sugar level, and possibly wind up having to 
>take insulin (sp?).
>
>I would like to here from other mothers that have experienced this,
>as to what your doctors instructed you to do. Did it go away after 
>the birth of your baby? etc... I (we) have vary little knowledge in this
>mater, so any advice would be helpful. 
>
>Also, is there an "F.A.Q." on this subject?, and if so could someone
>please E-mail it to me. 
>
>Thanks
>
>John.


Hi John

I too had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with my first child Matthew (almost 4yo) and Yes you guessed it I have #2 as well... Melanie is 16 mths and I didn`t get it with her

I thought for sure I would get it the second time, as my father is a diabetic and has been for the last 20 yrs - They detected it very early the first time and I kept to a strict diet (not too bad and I did sneak icecream after EVERY visit after they checked my blood sugar :-)  

Good part of that was I only gained 15 lbs with him (30 lbs with my second!!) My blood sugar level went COMPLETELY back to normal within hours of giving birth to Matthew and I haven`t had a problem since 

- I pray that with #3 (projected to be started in the manufacturing in July '93 ;-) - I'm VERY organized :-) I am OK and don`t double the weight AGAIN to 60 lbs !!!!!!!!!!
 
Hope this makes your wife feel better about it all

Alice, Alleycat or Brit :-)

Motorola Paging Div		Phone: (407) 364-2572
Mail stop 36			Fax:  (407) 364-3571
1500 NW 22nd Ave		Email: alice_bertelson@pts.mot.com
Boynton Bch, FL 33426. USA
From: tigger@satyr.Sylvan.COM (Grace Sylvan)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Dressing Self
Date: 8 Nov 92 11:20:38 GMT
Organization: Sylvan Associates

This subject of expectations/responsibilties being assigned to young
children to dress themselves (or change themselves after an accident)
has come up in several different places and I just wanted to throw in
a 'food for thought'.

During the toddler/preschool years, a child is doing a lot of growing,
and seems to fluctuate between feeling/acting very independant and
acting very dependant. I would propose that this fluctuation is very
normal, and that most kids will outgrow 'Mommy Help' over time.

I can clearly see that Katherine's requests for help (attention)
increase when she's doing some other new thing developmentally, or
when our family life has been very busy/chaotic for some time. There
are two (actually three) reasons I give Katherine the option for
assistance with her shoes. The first is that she might just need a
little babying (I know there are times *I* could use a little babying)
and really, putting her shoes on her is a small thing to do for her.
The second is that anything the least bit snug against her body tends
to upset her quite a bit. Thus she never wears pull on pants, she
hates socks, shoes, underwear, etc.  I've heard of other kids who are
that way, so she's not alone. So, for her to actually put on shoes is
a big deal, for they are the snuggliest of her clothing. Almost every
time she does it, it is with great displeasure, and she's only doing
it because we ask her to. And the third is that one of her pairs
buckles and is sometimes difficult for me to fasten.

So, I don't put her shoes on for her primarily to take the easy way
out and avoid a conflict. I do it out of compassion for her wants and
needs. I also offer her a choice because I choose my battles, and
fighting over who puts on her shoes is not one I feel is important
enough, especially when putting shoes or clothing on her body at all
is such a big deal for her.

I've pretty much determined that the clothing issue with Katherine
isn't just her trying to get attention because she will wear her very
loose short dresses with short or no sleeves without a problem. She
might even put one on herself when I'm not even in the room with her.
And when we get home you can tell how uncomfortable the outfit is by
how fast she removes it. Oh well, I just pray she outgrows it,
meantime we continue to insist that she must wear the full regalia
when we go out the front door...
-- 

Tigger (Grace Sylvan)                Mom of Katherine Yelena, 8/8/89,
tigger@satyr.sylvan.com              Corey 1/31/91; we loved him so,
                                     Robin Gregory born 2/28/92

 "It seems to me that our large goal is to find the ways to help our
 children become humane and strong."
 
              - Dr Haim Ginott quoted by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: viviana@igor.tamri.com (Vivian Aldridge)
Subject: Good school in San Francisco for 5 year old?
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Distribution: ba
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 92 15:41:18 GMT



Hi,
I'm looking for a good school for my child in San Francisco only.
My child is going to be five years old in April.
Does anyone who lives in SF have any suggestions? The school
can be public or private.  If it is private please let me
know how much it costs. Also, please let me know what you
like and don't like about it.

I'm leaving my question fairly open without specifiying the 
details i.e I'm looking for a progressive or academic focused
school. I would like to read about a broad range of schools.

Thanks so much for your help! Choosing a school is such a
difficult thing and I want the best.

Vivian

viviana@tamri.com
From: bets@matt.ksu.ksu.edu (Beth Schwindt)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: How to help the "oops" of a family...
Date: 9 Nov 92 17:49:10 GMT
Article-I.D.: matt.1dnigmINNasd
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: matt.ksu.ksu.edu

I know it always sounds like I am getting involved with other people's
problems, because I usually post with a question about how to help
someone else's kids.  I don't mean to sound like a busybody, but I
has the instinct to help wherever I can...(I've been told that someday
I'll get over it when I finally have kids of my own to take care of.)

Now, on to my question...

I babysit (and have babysat at different times over the years) with a
family with 3 children:  Billy, Joanna and Emily.  The age difference
is 4 years between Billy and Joanna and 10 months between Jo and Emmy.
Emmy was an admitted "oops" due to the fact her parents forgot that it
*is* possible to get pregnant while you are nursing....Anyway...

Billy and Jo pick on Em all the time about not being planned.  Jo was
planned for a year earlier than she appeared.  Also, Em appeared about 
the time the family began having financial problems, so Billy blames her
for those (Jo doesn't know about that).  

Something else that doesn't help at all is that Billy is named after
his grandfather and Jo is named after her 2 grandmothers.  Em wasn't
named after anybody.

At this point in time, I have some influence with Billy (who is entering
junior high) as a sort of big sister and the former president of his 4-H
club.  Jo and Em both still sort of hero-worship me because I am just 
enough older to be one of the "Big Girls" (their term, not mine).

Any suggestions on how to help Em deal with the constant teasing, and how
to help convince Billy and Jo that their sister isn't a ready-made
verbal punching bag and that she does have feelings?

Beth


-- 
"We are not free; it was never intended we should be.  A book of rules
is placed in our cradles, and we never get rid of it until we reach
our graves."--E.W. Howe, 1924  
bets@matt.ksu.ksu.edu              bets@ksuvm.ksu.edu
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Subject: Re: Family dinner (was Re: Eating Healthy (was Re: Halloween Stories
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 07 Nov 1992 03:40:37 GMT

In article <1992Nov5.205339.3699@u.washington.edu> lcheap@cac.washington.edu (Laurel Cheap ) writes:
>I think these are great "rules".  I'd like to have them in my house too
>but how do you instill them in a SPOUSE!  My husband has this addiction
>to watching the nightly news and we always have dinner on trays in
>front of the tv.  I can't avoid it by eating at a different time (local
>news is at 5:00, national at 6:00) without dinner being too late for
>Brendan (14 months, eats ~6:00).  I've also tried to get him to tape
>the news but that's not an option as far as he's concerned. HELP!!
>

This is how I grew up, only it was my grandmother's idea.  We watched the
news and ate on TV trays every night of my childhood.  The good part of
this was that I was up on current affairs (and I loved to watch my
mom and grandmother fight over politics).  So there is some merit to 
the method.

On the other hand, you have rights to.  In some faiths Friday night dinner
is sacred.  What about adopting that tradition in your home.  On Friday
nights the family has a formal dinner at the dining room table with no
TV.  You could serve wine to the adults.  Use your good china and crystal
(just you, I wouldn't give crystal tot he baby).  You could even all dress 
up and use it as one night a week where your children are required to use
impeccable table manners.  This could give those who like this sort of
thing a very special night to look forward to.  And those who don't only
have to suffer through it one night a week which is good for them.

If you're lucky, this will work out so well that your husband just may
say, "Wow, this is fun.  We should do it more often."  


-- 
Judy Leedom Tyrer

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"	- William Blake
From: poon@hpcc01.corp.hp.com (Vivienne Poon)
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 16:28:04 GMT
Subject: Re: cute things they say (almost 4 YO)
Organization: the HP Corporate notes server
Newsgroups: misc.kids

I couldn't resist to post ours. Kina (almost 6) and Brittany (4) had 
the following conversation on election day.

Britt: Today is voting day. We will have a new president. 
       Everybody has to vote so we can have money to build more
       roads so we wouldn't have a traffic jam.
Kina:  No, to build trains. (We have a light-rail measure.)
Britt: Who do you vote, Kina?
Kina:  I vote for George Bush because he is the president.
Britt: I vote for the guy who wanted to go to India but ended up
       in Bahamas.
Kina:  Christopher Columbus! But he's DEAD!
Britt: Ya, I like him and I'm going to vote for him.


Vivienne Poon
From: albert@endor.uucp (David Albert)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Examples for discussion (was Re: Plain Talk About Spanking (long))
Date: 8 Nov 92 04:35:29 GMT
Article-I.D.: das.1992Nov8.043529.12546
Organization: Aiken Computation Lab, Harvard University

judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer) writes:
>Here's three scenarios.  The object is to think up
>logical consequences for the behavior of the child.  The important ingredient
>to logical consequences is that you must be just as content to allow the
>consequences to happen as the behavior.

>"You tell your 6 YO that you need to vacuum the floor and he needs to pick
>up his toys.  An hour later and the toys are not picked up."

For me this one is easy. I'm sure it isn't for a lot of other people.  If
the room isn't clean when I am ready to vacuum, I won't vacuum.  If the
floor is so dirty that I don't feel like using the room, I'll explain that
as well and stay out until the room is ready to be vacuumed.  If that takes
more than a few days, I will probably start suggesting gently some of the
nice things we could do together in his room if it were clean enough for
me to vacuum it.  (If the child were 8 or older, I would probably just leave
the vacuuming to him/her if the room wasn't ready when I was free).

>"Your 4 year old forgets to flush the toilet.  This is one of your pet
>peeves and you really cannot allow it to continue."

Hmm.  I'm not sure how to answer a question based on this sort of premise
about it being one of my pet peeves.  My first inclination is to say that
I would have the obligation of changing myself and getting over my upset,
or learning to live with it.  But then I tried changing the question to
something I personally know I couldn't live with (e.g.: Your 4 year old
smears feces on the sink every time he uses the toilet...).  I think if
my 4 year old had bathroom behavior I couldn't live with, I would ask
her/him to tell me every time s/he used the toilet, and then go in
together and walk him/her through each of the problem steps.  And I'd
do this every time, or most times, until the child started to remember.

>"Your 15 year old is supposed to be home at 8 PM.  It is now 10 PM and 
>and your child comes sauntering into the house."

Well, this is one I've been dealing with a bit recently.  One of the
remarks that seemed to help this particular 15 year old understand the
'adult' point of view was: "Well, okay, if you don't want us to worry
about you if you're 2 hours late, how long *would* you like to be in
serious trouble somewhere before we start trying to find out what's wrong
and help you get out of it?"  I think that's what I'd try first.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David Albert				  | Illegitimi non carborundum est.
albert@das.harvard.edu		 	  |
From: larrabee@cse.ucsc.edu (Tracy Larrabee)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: My tour of the hospital where I am to give birth
Date: 8 Nov 1992 20:08:30 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz (CE/CIS Boards)
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: arapaho.ucsc.edu


And one more question (my apologies to those of you who have newsreaders
that gave you this posting before my original one):

I am taking Bradley classes.  It was clear from what the tour nurse said
that she pretty much expected us all to "be doing our breathing."  Our
Bradley instructor said when we call up to say we are on the way in we
should say we are Bradley-trained and ask for a nurse who is comfortable
with that.  Somehow that seems kind of persnickity or demanding to me.

Does anyone know if such a request is normal?  If the nurses would be
insulted?

Thanks again.
--
Tracy Larrabee		larrabee@cse.ucsc.edu
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: nelson@mdd.comm.mot.com (Mike Nelson)
Subject: Re: Cute Self abuse (was 20/20 and Spanking)
Organization: Motorola - Mobile Data Division; Richmond, BC
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 23:39:14 GMT

In article <1992Nov04.025034.2218711@locus.com> judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer) writes:
>
>The problem in our house isn't the older child.  It is the younger one.  She
>loves to fight.  She doesn't mind getting hurt and just comes back for more.
                  *****************************
>She is a LOT like the baby on dinosaurs.  "AGAIN!"  Erin spends a LOT of
>time in her room.
>
>-- 
>Judy Leedom Tyrer
>

Justine who just turned 2 accidently hit her hand while swinging
her arms. She had a pained look on her face so I asked if she hurt
her hand. She didn't answer so I intentionally hit my own hand
on a cabinet and said "Ow, That hurt". I did it again and she laughed.

Afterwards Justine began to walk around hitting her hand on
different things and then going " oooh ouch".

I figure she'll stop it pretty quickly. What I wanted to
show her was that pain is not such a big deal.

I figure the only thing she learned is that I'm pretty silly.

Mike N.