From: bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: HELP: Sucks to be me!!!
Date: 23 Nov 1992 09:48:27 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley, CS Undergraduate Association
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu

In article <4f47rne00iV4E6d9cR@andrew.cmu.edu> David-Hyung Suk Kim <dk3y+@andrew
[Summary: Dave meets girl, asks her out, she says no, wants to ask her
 again, but she disses him.  However, Dave thinks she likes him but she
 acts differently]
>The thing is she was the one that approached me
>in the beginning and I had the feeling that she liked me.  But I guess
>my predictions were wrong.  I mean she does hang around with this one
>guy constantly.  But according to some of her friends, he is not her
>boyfriend.  I really don't know what's going on.
Not to sound too cynical, but frankly, I think most young women are
fickle.  One minute, they'll think you're the person they've been looking
for all their life, next minute, they'll think you're trash.  One minute,
they'd die if they didn't have you, next minute, they couldn't care less.
Plus, it's easy to see things when you're looking for them.  For instance,
lets say that I like a girl (we'll call her Judy).  Judy's in my class.
Sometimes, when I look around during lecture, I see her staring at me.
She even says "hi" and comes up to me and starts talking to me out of the
blue.  No, this doesn't mean Judy's interested in me romantically, she's
just a friendly person who likes to stare into nowhere (AKA daydream).
But me, looking very hard, might just think that she likes me (in the
romantic way), and misinterpret most heinously.
Then again, maybe she did like you (romantically), but has changed her
mind.  You'll never know, even if you ask her.  Plus, don't listen to
her friends (or if you do, listen with a grain of salt) even if they're
'reliable'.  They can be misinterpreting Judy's actions/etc too...or,
perhaps they're all in league to play around with you. (the paranoia
school of thought.  Not necessarily foolish/silly.  Sometimes, it's
too true)

>I think it's true that relationship develops when you don't try hard.
That's what people tell me too, and I have to agree on the basis that
I've tried very hard, and relationships never develope.  In fact, it
deteriorates until not only are you not 'boyfriend/girlfriend' but not
even friends.  NOT EVEN ACQUIANTANCES!  Sad, but true.  Chill if you
can.
>Because I think too much of her and I try to force the relationship.
>Based on my past experience, I get into the relationship easier if I
>don't force it.
Yes, definitely don't force it.

>But I still don't know why she is trying to avoid me.  I would
>appreciate your advice and comments.
Change of heart?  Embarrased (for some odd reason)?  Or perhaps,
she's just not ready to be romantically involved (I'm assuming she's
Asian) and that she's avoiding possible heartbreak/problems/confusion
by avoiding the possible cause.  Or, perhaps she just plain doesn't
like you anymore (sorry, but it's possible.  Unfortunately.  And all
you can do is try to forget too)
>
>DAve
>
Hope that helps, Dave.

--
----------------------------------------------------------------
Billy H. Chan 	<bhchan@ocf.berkeley.edu>   "Life: a strange new
Just Babbling   <bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu>   state of confusion"
Disclaimer 1:   I'm actually a really nice person. (sorta) :) ;)

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