From: awrc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Al Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 21 Aug 92 10:17:56 GMT
Reply-To: awrc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Al Crawford)
Organization: The University Of Edinburgh - Department Of Computer Science

In article <25056@castle.ed.ac.uk> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
>
> We're obviously two different people: you choose to live in Penicuik,

"Choose" perhaps is not the word I would use. I prefer to think that, to
ensure a reasonable population density in Scotland as a whole, some people
*must* live in Penicuik and that I, selfless individual that I am, have
taken this heavy burden upon myself.

> you find computer science interesting, I find it mind-numbingly tedious.

Ah, now this one is definitely open to debate. While I would stop short of
referring to my chosen discipline as mind-numbingly tedious, the word
"interesting" is, I feel, one that perhaps conveys too great a degree of
enthusiasm for my attitude towards this subject. It might be more accurate
to combine both descriptions and say that I find computer science
interesting, but in a mind-numbingly tedious manner.

> However, inasmuch as there are any absolute standards in the world of
> art, if Shakespeare is objectively better than Jeffrey Archer, if Bach
> is better than Wham, then Brookside is most assuredly not second-rate.

Sir, it is, by definition and the admission of its creators, a soap opera.
While I make no pretence of being anything other than than completely
subjective in my tastes in music, art and literature, it is a
scientifically proven fact that soap operas are, by their very design,
generally crap, the symptoms of a televisual dysentry designed to sate the
feeble desires of those whose lives contain no true meaning and that by
vicariously living their lives through the characters of a soap opera, the
plebian couch potatoes are less likely to, say, revolt and burn down large
parts of the towns in which they live. In short, I am right and you are
wrong.

> At its best, it is as powerful a drama as is seen on the Tube,

I was never personally very keen on Paula Yates, although her cover version
of "These Boots Are Made For Walking" is highly rated amongst fans of the
truly excrutiating.

> and certainly better than anything that has emerged from Hollywood in
> many a long year.

That, sirrah, would not be difficult.

> So have your opinion if you wish, but please spare us from passing it off
> as established fact. If you have talents towards artistic criticism, we
> would be interested to see them - they have hitherto lain dormant.

Might I direct your attentions towards the rec.music. hierarchy, wherein I
have posted to date some 98 reviews over the past two years. Generally they
receive an excellent response and my reason for the continued posting of
them derives from the positive feedback I have obtained in the past. It
must be said that I would take the opinion of almost any poster to the
rec.music. hierarchy, even those who have yet to master the use of the caps
shift key and are fond of including complete Rush tour schedules in their
signatures, over the opinions of one such as yourself. My primary rationale
for not posting the aforementioned reviews to alt.peeves is that it posting
them here would be highly inappropriate.

> If you have learned anything from reading eduni.vtp,

I have learned much from that veritable cornucopia of knowledge and
witticisms, but foremost amongst the gems of wisdom I have obtained therein
are the source of several good places to have my photos developed and also
that Cyclists Are Always Right.

> it should be that I'm not very keen on people pretending to be my parents.

This would assuredly be a most difficult task, since I have certain
physical characteristics that would render accurate impersonation of your
parents somewhat tricky, such as a backbone, a fully developed nervous
system and a method of traction rather more sophisticated than psuedopods.

> So fuck off.

And a good day to you too sir.

Yours,

Excessively Verbose Of Penicuik

--
			Al Crawford - awrc@dcs.ed.ac.uk
	  Department Of Computer Science, The University of Edinburgh
   Rm 1410, JCMB, Kings Buildings, Mayfield Rd, EDINBURGH, EH9 3JZ, Scotland
	     Tel: +44 (0) 31 650 5165  Fax: +44 (0) 31 667 7209