From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: infernal janitor
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
	<92Aug21.011138.27640@acs.ucalgary.ca>
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 22:43:56 GMT

In article <92Aug21.011138.27640@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
       I think I grasp your problem, Larry: You aren't supposed
       to EAT those giant breath mints in the urinals. You
       shouldn't KNOW what they TASTE like.

So THAT'S it!  :=>
 
       Why did your bathroom smell like peas? Mushy peas?
       Frozen peas?

Snow peas! Urea is what I meant. Can't spell pee, it seems.

   >Then, there is his Janitor Cart from Hell, which consists of a rolling 
   >heavy duty 55 gallon sized plastic wastebasket, with a cloth ditty on it
   >with holsters for various cleaning aids. It has a diameter about six
   >inches narrower than the hall and that's where he has it parked. So every
   >time I walk down the hall to get something off the printer, I have to
   >doseedo this goddam janitor cart.

       So tell him that next time you find it in your way you're
       going to *burn* it. What kind of peevester are you anyway?
       Besides, rhumba is more sexy.

The problem is, I'm about the same diameter as the bloody cart.. 
 (..)
  ~~
   >If the Janitor Cart isn't there, it's in the men's john, blocking the door
   >open. You can't even take an honest piss after 4:30.
                 ^^
       Try the ladies room. Open yourself to a whole world of new
       sexual possibilities. And post a note telling us just what
       the hell they *do* in there for so bloody long.

I'm pretty sure they have a COUCH in there..

PEEVE: NO COUCH in the men's john!!

   >Finally, the poor guy has a dog chain with about 500 keys on it, and it
   >jingles continuously wherever he is.

       So shoot the dog. Once it isn't moving, it won't jingle...

Well, I can't say too much. I've got spurs that jingle/jangle/jingle myself.

  >.. So take this hambone with you. And when you get home, call your 
  >mother out from under the porch and give it to her!"

	What more can be said? This is masterful. Who are you
	quoting?

   Regards, Charles

Well, thanks, Charles. The Abecedarian insult part came from _The Superior
Person's Book of Words_ by Peter Bowler. It has lots of goodies, just the
perfect thing for any peever. For example:

  "PARAPHILEMIA n. Love play. When engaging a secretary, you tactfully
ask each candidate at the interview whether she has suffered for any major
medical problems; in the course of this you inquire gently 'No
paraphilemiaphobia, I hope?' She smiles blankly and shakes her head."

The reference to the hambone is my own paraphrase of something my dad
used to say - no telling where he heard it.

L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Oh sure, we could do it the _easy_ way. But it just wouldn't be the COWBOY WAY.


Newsgroups: alt.peeves