From: nin15b63@merrimack.edu (The Wolf)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Changing the odds
Date: 9 Jan 93 03:41:08 GMT
Organization: Merrimack College, No. Andover, MA, USA

In article 1993Jan8.160724.27202@cbnewsk.cb.att.com> krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com
(keith.r.smith) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan7.175638.2576@merrimack.edu> nin15b63@merrimack.edu (The
Wolf) writes:
>>>
>>>In the thread on meeting people, posters have been emphasizing things like
>>>getting involved in activities which are interesting anyway, or using the
>>>immediate situation and just "going with it".  What people seem to be saying is
>
>This is all well and good, provided that your daily routine and those hobbies
>that you pursue with a passion are likely to bring you into regular contact
>with like-minded individuals of the opposite sex.  For example, a female
>[...]
>[discussion of activites male poster likes that attract a low ratio of women]

Certainly, it is easier if your passions are in line with the kinds of
activities that women also like.  What creates a passion?  To me, a
characterisitc of passion is that it agrees with my strongest intentions,
beliefs and desires.  You, Keith, might have a conflict.  At least one of your
intentions -- doing things you enjoy -- conflicts with at least one of your
other intentions -- meeting women; or so it seems.  So, as long as those
intentions and beliefs remain, so will your situation.  One alternative might
be to change some of your intentions or expectations.  I will offer some
suggestions to stimulate your thought, not necessarily as answers or
solutions.

1) There are some women in the activities you do.  If you are interested in
really getting to know a limited number of women (such as 1 :)), "some" might
be sufficient.  If you are interested in more, it might not.

2) The real gist of my point was in meeting people without going out of one's
way (though it doesn't seem you are).  It might be possible to meet women
during those other activities which are not your passions (social events or
whatever).  The fact that you seem to have several passions would be to your
advantage, since the women you are meeting wouldn't necessarily need to share
the same ones, unless that is specifically what you are after.

3) Pick up my new bestseller, _Pretend to be Sensitive: A Man's Guide to
Scoring Babes_.

4) The first three probably occurred to you anyway.  Something that might not
have would be to find a new passion, or channel a current one into an
unexpected area.  This might require more effort than you would want it to, but
perhaps much less than you would expect.  If meeting more women is important to
you, you might want to try it.  

Consider this: you list a number of male-dominated activities you like.  If you
are such a fitness nut, are you in an aerobics class?  I'm going to assume you
are not.  I am also going to make some other assumptions: you ruled it out
without even really giving it a thought because it is too wimpy, or for women,
or the women in it will assume you are there to hit on them (ignore the fact
that you are :)).  Let me offer that you could possibly find aerobics just as
much fun as some of your other fitness activites, by changing some of those
assumptions (pretend they really are yours).  For example, if you've ever done
(or even watched) aerobics, particularly those that throw in a lot of cal, you
realize it can be a real work-out.  Men like to have fun too.  If you keep your
attention (and eyes) on your work-out, the others will realize you are there
for the aerobics.  

This last one has many beneficial side-effects.  If you are a beginner and
sincerely trying to do things properly, you might elicit help.   It creates
competition, in the sense that you are not giving any one woman special
attention, and you might be the only male in the class.  It puts you in the
position of selector, rather than pursuer.  In another thread, I asked if women
ever really look back and smile in a club.  I realized, after thinking about it,
that the only time they ever do that to me is when something or someone has
had my undivided attention for a looong time, and then I happen to break my
concentration; never when I am just looking around.  

So, my point is not that you should join an aerobics class, it could be cooking
or whatever; it is to try to think of something you could honestly enjoy that a
lot of women like, and then make a sincere effort to get into it, ignoring that
the initial impetus for choosing the activity was to meet women.  This idea
will give you an opportunity to dive into some of those things you've always
wanted to try, but might have ignored because you are a man -- like those cute,
pink leotards at the hoisery shop.

-- 
 Andy Harrington                      | nin15b63@merrimack.edu
 Computer Geek                        | aharrington@ldbvax.lotus.com
 Merrimack College, North Andover, MA | I'm too sexy for this network.