From: Bjorn.B.Larsen@delab.sintef.no (Bjorn B. Larsen)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: Re: Men/Women in marriage.
Date: 9 Oct 92 08:17:15 GMT
Reply-To: bjorn.b.larsen@delab.sintef.no
Organization: delab

I have been reading some of the posts in this thread, and I must admit
that I sometimes feel that the discussion and arguments are a bit "off
the line." Questions relating to this topic have been inside my head
during the last few years, and even if I must admit that I do not have
the ultimate solution, I feel that I am on my way towards the goal.

What I write here is mainly aimed at my fellow brothers in the Lord,
but if I feel like it I may end up with a similar post mainly aimed at
my sisters.

(Note all quotes from the Bible is my translation from Norwegian,
pleas read for yourself what your translation should look like.)

The Bible tells us men to love our wives. This a commandment. No ifs,
or buts. See for instance Eph. 5; 25: "You men shall love your wives
like Crist loved His church, and gave His life for it."

1. Peter 3; 7: " [ about being understanding ] do this such that your
prayers shall not be hindered."

Eph. 5; 23: "The man is the head of the woman like Christ is the head
of the Church."

Matt. 20; 28: "Neither did the Son of man (Christ) come in order to be
served, but to serve .."

These are examples of quotes which tell me rather clear that the man
is supposed to have the final responsibility within a family. This
does not imply that he shall be some allknowing or allmighty "god"
within the family. We have all received different gifts, some are good
teachers, some know the Bible fairly well etc. 

The Bible tells me to love my wife, and to serve her like Christ serve
the church. It is my responsibility to assure that she gets the time
she needs to grow in Christ. She could be so focused on items in the
house that the Bible could dissapear from her thoughts. If such a
situation arises, it is my responsibility to make sure that gets the
time she needs.

The head of the house represented by a father returning from work for
dinner which is followed by an hour of undisturbed relaxing followed
by 3 hours at the newspaper (possibly interrupted by the news on TV)
before supper and bed-time is way off. This is definitely not what is
intended even though I know that this analogy often springs to mind
when we talk about the man as the head. Combined with a general trend
towards more women in leading positions, it becomes very difficult to
get the right view of what is ment by these quotes. We should however
always keep in mind that Christ is our example. He is the only "real
man" there has been, and we should strive to be more like Him.

What we talk about is some kind of a command-line: God - Jesus -
husband - wife, but this is only with respect to responsibilities and
authorithy. Even if I and my wife are married and share everything, we
still have to have our own saparate relation to God. Sure enough, we
pray together and discuss whatever we feel like, but I can not live on
her blessings, and neither can she live on mine. We still need to have
a personal relationship to God.

This does not contradict female leaders. The man has the
responsibility and authority that goes with it inside their house, but
if the wife is the one who is called by God for a special duty, then
she must do this, and her husband shall support her.

To quote an example from a previous post:

	A woman tells us that her husband decided, after their marriage
	that he was not a christian.  Some years later she could pray
	with him to salvation, and as she had been christian for quite
	some time, she was the most wise of the two and would start to
	supervise her husband.

This is great, and it does not contradict the principle of who is
supposed to be the head in the family. Very simple I could say that
the husband has a responsibility to gain knowledge. The appropriate
person to give him this knowledge is his wife, therefore she is the
right teacher for him. Still he is the one who is responsible that the
teaching really happens.

To draw an analogy. I work as a scientist. I have superiors who know
next to nothing about my field of competence. If my boss wants a
colloquium within this field, he would call for me. There is no way he
could do this on his own. Still he is the one in charge. He is the one
with more authority. There is nothing wrong with that.

I hope this was not too long and "diversified."

In Him,

Bjorn
--
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