HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: usenet@talon.ucs.orst.edu (Usenet News admin)
Subject: Re: April 9 (d. all of the above)
Organization: Oregon State University - Univ. Computing Services
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 08:43:17 GMT

A. Sucks
B. Shouldn't have happened.
C. Makes the debacle of Apr. 8 look like a cakewalk.

It happened again. The lilacs were on the verge of blooming only 
to be snuffed out by a cold rainy streak.  My boss has dumped a
totally inane and time consuming project in my lap after I informed
him that his last project had no solution.  The Simpsons sucked.
Dinner was cold.  I got a call from a nasty ex-girlfriend.  I have
no clean clothes and no time to wash.  I'm broke.  Nothing is
going right; everything is shit.....

Oh, this is alt.peeves, not alt.gripe.mindlessly.  Sorry.

I watched the movie "Slaughterhouse Five" last night.  The character 
who kills Billy Pilgrim described getting back at a dog who bit him.
He cut a spring into 1/2 inch slivers.  He then inserted each one by
hand into a steak.  He gave it to the dog.  And when the dog started to
howl and blood started to run from its mouth he said, "That's me inside
there, sticking you with those knives."  For him nothing was sweeter than
revenge.

Personally, I think this is appalling.  No dog is evil enough to deserve 
to be treated that way.  


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      Tim Mefford           | "...but you can't make her think!"      
  tim@physics.orst.edu      |          - Dorothy Parker
________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dsc@gemini.tmc.edu (Doug S. Caprette Bldg. 28 W191 x3892)
Subject: Re: Engineers, an explanation
Organization: NASA GSFC CDP VLBI
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 18:05:13 GMT

In article <92106.174807JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu> JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu (Jennifer Mina) writes:
>Since some people out there seem annoyed at my peeve about
>Engineers, I feel that I must explain myself...
>
>Let me rephrase my peeve:  Penn State Engineering Teachers --
>everyone I've met (or heard about) is either 1) an old-fashioned,
>men-are-better-at-everything, engineering-is-the-only-way-to-go,
>if-you're-not-an-engineer-you're-nothing  teacher OR 2) a young,
>I'm-better-than-you-because-I-have-a-degree  teacher.
>
Good.  These people are not, engineers.  They are instructors.  If they were
engineers they would be doing engineering for about three times the salary they
make teaching.  This goes a long way toward explaining the quality of the
typical engineering instructor.

Of the dozen or so full time professors I've had, in engineering, over the 
years, only one (1) was as good as the worst non-engineering instructor I ever
had in college.  However, some of the part timers, who work full time in the
real world, were excellent.  

Please don't mistake engineering instructors for bona fide engineers.  
Similarly, most full time engineering students are also flaming assholes.
But don't worry, 5 years after graduation they'll all be in sales or 
management anyhow.
--
 |  Regards,         |   Hughes STX                |    Code 926.9 GSFC        |
 |  Doug Caprette    |   Lanham, Maryland          |    Greenbelt, MD  20771   |
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth."
                                  -- Leonard Q. Barnes
From: ELLBRUA@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu (The Lemming)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Demographics again
Date: 10 Apr 92 19:29:05 GMT
Organization: Yale University

In article <10233@cernvax.cern.ch>
steveb@cernvax.cern.ch (Steve Bougerolle) writes:
 
>In <ku7nukINNait@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>
>>I'm 6'6", son.  Just because Geoff Miller is 6'2" and you look up to
>>him, don't assume that's true of everyone you look up to.
>
>Hm.. I'm 193 cm (6'4").  Bandy is tall, too, isn't he?  There's a trend here,
>I bet.
 
I'm afraid I'm only 5'6" (167 cm).  This makes me one foot shorter
(and 117 pounds lighter) than banta.  I'm also a lot more environmentally
correct -- I consume less food, less material for clothes, use less
oxygen, etc.
 
>
>Being tall is very peeve-inducing at times.
 
Being short is no bed of roses either.  For some reason, when an
enormously huge, odor-ridden, potato-comlexioned woman gets on a
bus, she looks for the smallest guy there and plumps herself down
next to him.  I guess she figures that we small dudes don't take
up much space and would be happy to share with a slobbering musk
ox.
 
There is also the obvious problem with tall people sitting in
front of you in movie theaters.  I really enjoy paying six bucks
for the privelidge of craning my neck at an unnatural angle to
see around some genetic freak's head.
 
 
Alex Elliott
The Lemming.
ellbrua@yalevm.ycc.yale.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Iowegian)
Subject: another oracular post
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Iowegian)
Organization: Sensitive Guys Martial Arts and Gun Club
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 05:44:11 GMT


	I saw the following in rec.humor.oracle, and in case you
do not get this group I found it rather peevish and quite appropriate
for our group.  Enjoy, and try to guess which regular of alt.peaves
would have made this reply.

---------  Begin Forewarded Post  ------------------
From rec.humor.oracle Mon Apr 13 10:20:31 1992
From: Usenet Oracle <oracle-vote@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 92 07:59:42 -0500
Newsgroups: alt.humor.oracle,rec.humor.oracle
Subject: Usenet Oracularity #434-07

Selected-By: Todd Radel <radel@ravel.udel.edu>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Tell me oh Great and Nifty Oracle...
> What is the meaning of life?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You have hit upon a very difficult question, for a mortal that is.
} A mortal asking about life is like a fish wanting to understand the
} ocean or a tree the forest.  Both the fish and the tree are simply
} too close to the object to be able to see its entirity and
} understand their place within it.  In order to truely comprehend
} anything, you must step back and look at it from the outside.  Hence,
} a fish must be taken from the ocean before it can understand what
} the ocean is.  Likewise, the tree must be removed from the forest
} before it can understand the forest.
}
} You can see where this is heading, can't you?
}
} Thus, I shall help you step back and take a good look at life.
} [ Winding up for a good <ZOT>... ]
}
} Msg from kinzler@ovillage.barcelona.sp....
} I warned you Oracle.  No more gratuitus <ZOT>ing.
}
} Oh come on Steve, this mortal wants to know and I just want
} to help him.  He's asking me!
}
} Msg from kinzler@ovillage.barcelona.sp....
} Tell me, how badly do you want to want to understand the
} Internet...
}
} Ok ok. Geez, some people.  [ Grumpily ]  So mortal, the meaning
} of life is to get outside, watch the pretty birdies, smell the *&!%$
} flowers, and other !@&^* like that.  Now excuse me while I go puke.
}
} You owe the Oracle a better mood.

--------  This doesn't remind us of anybody, does it? --------


--
<Daniel R. Sorenson   Dod #1066  |If Iowa State University agreed with me >
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu <- work |I'd make $90K/yr.  They don't, I don't. >
<viking@iastate.edu      <- play |"I am *not* goofing off.  I am driving  >
< myself mercilessly in the pursuit of relaxation." -- T. Weeds           >
From: tim@comphy.physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Polls and Pans
Keywords: Losers
Date: 16 Apr 92 07:20:03 GMT
Article-I.D.: talon.1992Apr16.072003.20091
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Organization: Up the,


     Simple Gripe:  My boss, after meeting with me, agreeing on the
amount of work that needed to be done, accepting my offer to improve
the output tomorrow, shows up here after I've left, looking for me,
griping that if I won't try another software package, he will. Schmuck.

     !peeve: I liked the outcome of the recent British elections in
one, and only facet, that the pollsters were proved completely wrong.
Not just a little wrong, but wrong beyond the bogus little 'margins
of error' they quote with every result.  I think the people behind 
all polls abuse their scientific credibility in claiming validity for
their results while, in the best tradition of social science, ignoring
uncontolled variables that produce a decidely !random sample.  

     Anyone like me would automatically lie to a pollster, anyway.  
Besides which, how do these idiots allow for whether or not the poll-ee
will actually vote?  They ask him!  Someone called me 15 years ago to 
ask me if I'd save papers and donate them to the boy scouts. I said I
would. They're still in my father's garage.

     Peeve: I hate doing the dishes more than life itself.  As a result,
I've taken to preparing meals with as few utensils/dishes as possible.
I'll prepare and eat a two course meal dirtying no more than five seperate
objects.  When desperate, I'll take a hotpad and a spoon and eat directly
out of a pot I've taken from the stove. Total dirty dishes: 2
In short, I'm sick and I need help, or a dishwasher.

ObBob: Rahal

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Essene & Chinese birth controls must reduce birth or Easter Isle 
type overpopulation destroys God's Spaceship Earth!  God's law 
prevents all conception below pH3.  Therefore, Essene contracepted
for 400 yrs. with rosehips, pH2!  So, absolute clean, apply vaseline,
oil, butter, or cream, insert teaspoon juicy lemon pulp pH2. O.K.!
Next day douche with qt. soapy water pH8, restoring pH5 balance God
made!" 
				-- Dr. Bronner's Pure-Castile Soap
"Or you could use a condom." 
		              Tim Mefford (tim@physics.orst.edu) O.K.!
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG (Phil Gustafson)
Subject: Re: Cultural Illiteracy
Organization: Famed Parquet Floor
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 00:21:29 GMT

In article <5400@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion) writes:
>
>+That's Haile Selassie of you.
>
>He's still alive you know.


Haile Selassie, 1892-1975.  

That's two years deader than Elvis.

Phil

-- 
|play: phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG; {ames|pyramid|vsi1}!zorch!phil                |
|work: phil@gsi; sgi!gsi!phil            | Phil Gustafson                   |
| "Better a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy"          |
|                                      Fred (not Steve) Allen               |     
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Satan's Topic
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 92 05:52:50 GMT
Organization: Deathcheeses of Wisconsin
Keywords: Arrrrrrrrgh!!!

Peeve: For some reason that I am unable to comprehend, whenever the post with
the subject "More Helpful Hints" makes an appearance, my computer locks up
and I have to ditch out of reading news.

This *really* punctures my penis because I think this is a really lame-o topic,
(Refer to previous peeve about anything crossposted to talk.bizarre.) and I
don't want to read the damn thing in the first place. I am so mad I could
shit kittens!

!Peeve: Group Project From Hell concluded with a presentation. The Doorstop
Group Partner performed surprising well, and afterwards the bar had scads of
Guinness. 

-- 
"When I am introduced to an undertaker I categorize him at once as a
 sanctimonious money-grubbing necrophiliac. I realize this is an unfair
 generalization. I don't care."      -- Lawrence Block
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Quayle, bullies, 'n things (was Re: Lemon Gin, Rape)
Date: 7 Apr 92 18:14:33 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <19876@castle.ed.ac.uk> fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:

>It always used to amuse me when Thatcher and Raygun wittered on and on
>about nuclear deterrence and how "it's kept the peace for 40 years". If
>they really believed this then why not give some to Israel (woops, they
>already have 'em :-) Iraq, Iran, Burma, Turkey etc. That should increase
>world peace right away. Then there's the Kurds, ETA, the IRA.....

Why not?  Because politically unstable pissant nations run by tinpot
dicators can hardly be counted on to be responsible and exercise restraint.
Nukes have served the purpose of the great powers for 40 years because
that purpose was deterrence -- and Maggie's right, it *did* work.  But
that's not to say that nuclear weapons would serve the same purpose in
the hands of a nation like Iraq or Iran or Libya, nations with priorities 
that don't necessarily coincide with those of the West or the East.  For
example, if either Iran or Iraq had had nukes during their 8-year war, I
have no doubt that they'd have been used.  They were already shooting
Scuds at each other's capital cities.  People in that part of the world 
tend to think in apocalyptic terms.

I even had my doubts about Israel for awhile; for a few days during Desert
Storm, I was certain that they'd nuke Baghdad in retaliation for the Scud 
attacks.  Since they demonstrated admirable restraint, maybe Israel is 
qualified for membership in the nuclear club.  

Nations like Turkey and Pakistan are in a gray area, I'd say.  There's
long been a lot of tension between Pakistan and India, but both nations
are relatively stable politically, at least for the time being.  At least,
Pakistan has been a bit more stable ever since old Walking Death got killed,
anyway.

As for Burma, what would *they* need nuclear weapons for?  They barely need
jet fighters, for crying out loud.  Besides, they're Buddhists anyway.


>In fact we shouldn't rest until everyone has their own nuclear grenade
>arsenal in order to insure that deterrence finally puts an end to
>societal violence :-)

Well, *I* have mine!  Talk to Claudio.Terrorist; maybe he can fix you up.


>I bet Thatcher and Raygun would be first in line to say they were just
>kidding about how it kept the peace and all......

>Peeve: Hypocrisy

Peeve:  Those who reflexively say that Thatcher and Raygun were wrong, 
	without bothering to step back and look at the Big Picture (tm).

ObWeapon: WWII Red Army Katyusha truck-mounted rocket launcher.



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Lee Kuan Yew)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lawyers not Chemists
Date: 8 Apr 92 17:10:11 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <!8qj2+@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:

>Sounds like *you* studied something that people are willing to pay you to
>know. Try graduating from college with a B.A. in psycholology (with a thesis
>on Jungian archetypes) and see how many companies are beating down *your*
>door to pay you minimum wage.


		"Take my archetypes -- please!"


				-- Henny Jungman


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: iba@rti.rti.org
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Spiders
Keywords: Yea! I know they're good for killing bugs, but...
Date: 9 Apr 92 20:42:19 GMT
Organization: Research Triangle Institute, RTP, NC

I went into my basement the other day, and what was standing in the
middle of the floor, but a spider.  No not a spider...a SPIDER!  This
thing could have eaten a small dog, you know what I mean?  

Of course, first panic sets in.  `now what do I do' `who can I call'
`can I outrun it'

Then, of course, the second wave of panic sets in. `If I don't do
something quick, and it dissappears somewhere, where will it turn up
next.'  `The kitchen, living room, in the bed'

Now, I understand that spiders are good and necessary creatures.  I
realize that without them on this planet we would be overrun by
insects and would cease to exist in only 8 short days, but, can't they 
stay outside where they belong.

UGH!

Of course, being that I have a distinct phobia of spiders, they seem
to like my house/car/garage/basement/shed/ the best.

Ingrid
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thursday, 9 Apr 1992 15:46:08 EDT
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions

In article <x7rj#1.rickg@netcom.com>, rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon) says:
>
>What mean, Sonja?  This isn't one a those virtual reality things, is it?
>Hope not.

Not at all.  My fiance is coming to visit for the weekend.

>"Primary relationship partner"?  God help us, it's another jackalmouthed
>obfuscatory euphemism, and one I've never seen before.  PRP.  Pronounced
>in moments of abandoned passion "pirp", presumably.

No, it was my attempt to obfuscate exactly who I was planning to engage
in sexual relations with this weekend.  Being bisexual and nonmonogamous,
I frequently find it useful not to define the gender of the person I'm
planning to have sex with, lest someone get the wrong idea.  I also find
it useful not to remark on the exact relationship between myself and
my sex partner, unless I feel like engaging in a long discussion.  (Like
this one.)

In a moment of passion, I probably wouldn't refer to him at all.  In fact,
in moments of passion, I don't use very many words.  So I'm boring.

Peeve: When people assume you're obfuscating without a practical reason.

-Sonja
From: pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: voting
Keywords: democracy in action
Date: 9 Apr 92 12:42:30 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Edinburgh

In article <31344@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al
Crawford) writes:

> ObPolitiPeeve: the anticlimax of election day. After having the thing
> forced into our heads for weeks now, I went down to my polling station at
> 7:15am this morning to vote. I was the only person there. I got my ballot
> paper and went over to the booth to peruse it. Damn, no Natural Law Party
> candidate. And I'd so much wanted to learn yogic flying. So I made my cross
> virtually at random (I'm what is termed a floating voter - although I have
> yet to learn yogic flying I really didn't give a damn about any of the
> parties and ended up voting for the one I dislike least), put it in the box
> and that was that. It took about 30 seconds and must rank up there with the
> 1987 election as one of my all-time least exciting experiences.

Nononono !Al, surely you can do better than that. Here's my version of
events...

It was a fine April morning as I marched out at 8:00, head held high,
polling card in hand, on my way to perform my democratic duty as a
loyal subject of Her Majesty the Queen. Election fever was in the air,
and the bold placards of the rival parties adorned the route to the
polling station, their bright colours contrasting bravely against the
crisp morning sky. As I strode resolutely into the hallowed grounds
wherein lay the repositories of the collective will of the People, the
peace was broken momentarily by slavering hordes of rosette-wearing
hacks, whom I deftly repelled with my Amulet of Last-Minute Canvasser
resistance ("Vote Labour" sticker).

The solid outlines of the ballot boxes flanked the voting-slip
distributors, while opposite the polling booths lined the wall. It was
with firm lines that I engraved the symbol of democracy alongside the
name of the incumbent, Nigel Griffiths (Labour). As my pencil made its
decisive mark, I stood just that little bit straighter (oops I'm
sounding like Geoff). That'll teach those enemies of democracy who
seek to govern this nation!

Not a sound was heard from the ballot box as my voting slip descended
into its depths, but tomorrow the length and breadth of the United
Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland will reverberate to the
collective verdict of the plebiscite to which it contributed.

Question: What is the difference between me and !Al (politically)?




Answer: I live in a marginal constituency!


ObPeeve: Someone in this building has a "Vote Labour" poster in his or
her office window. This is redundant, since it is only seen by
university employees and students.

yours peevishly,
Paul.

"We believe that politics is a pious profession that should not be muddled
by conflict and controversy."
  - from the manifesto of the Natural Law Party, April 1992
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: New Subject Line
Summary: Kindly refrain from piddling on the laser printer.
Date: 10 Apr 92 17:02:07 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <31425@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk 
(Not Al Crawford) writes:

>AntiPeeve: after last night's election result (even though I didn't get the
>result I really wanted) it's going to be *fun* today watching all the
>people who were saying "Ah, now the Tory bastards are going to get what
>they deserve" beforehand going around with shocked expressions of disbelief.


I have yet to encounter any British subjects, either on the Net or in
person, who admit to being supporters of the Tories.  And yet the Tories
somehow manage to remain in power.  Surely *some* of you must be closet
Maggie and John Major groupies!  C'mon, admit it -- you're among friends.


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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From: dmunroe@gollum.wr.tek.com (David Munroe)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Engineers
Date: 15 Apr 92 05:22:15 GMT
Organization: Chicktronix, bocbocbocbaaawwwk

In article <92105.185908JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu> JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu (Jennifer Mina) writes:

>Peeve: Engineers -- Need I say more?

Yes, you do, because I doubt if anyone here knows what you're peeving
about.  Do you not like engineers because you think they're nerds,
because you think they speak in gobbledygook, or because you think they're
arrogant, or...?  I have no idea.

At least if an engineer peeves, he'll be specific.  To a fellow engineer
he might say "the setup and hold times are screwed up and it'll take 6 weeks
to turn the chip!"  To a non-engineer friend, he might simply say "we've
got a hardware problem that delays the schedule by 6 weeks".

Oh! I see it: "Need I say more?" - yeah, you're peeved that engineers are
specific!

-Dave

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  "In Russia they've got it all mapped out: everyone pulls for everyone
   else.  That's the theory anyway.  What I know is Texas.  Down here
   you're on your own."                 - M. Emmet Walsh, "Blood Simple"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.peeves