From: jpak@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Jim Pak)
Subject: Fester, the know-it-all (was Re: Caucasians don't understand)
Reply-To: jpak@manute.sps.mot.com (The Devil)
Organization: Motorola Inc.  Austin, Tx.
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 23:52:22 GMT

In article <25784@dog.ee.lbl.gov> yjhbhc@dante.lbl.gov (Joe Huang) writes:
>In article <1992Aug26.153746.2502@island.COM> fester@island.COM (Mike Fester) writes:
>>You mean you have a good Turkish friend and you just NOW read about this? The
>>situation has been around for about 2 -3 decades. It has been on the front
>>page ( from time to time) of every paper I've ever read. 
>(rest of putdown deleted)
>
>I can't believe you would continue to parade your conceit for everyone 
>of scaa to see.

I can.  Have you forgotten, Joe?  This is Fester you're talking to.  You know,
Mike "I've-experienced-everything-and-know-everything-about-everything-so-that-
makes-me-an-expert-on-anything-and-how-dare-you-challenge-me-on-it" Fester.

I was wondering for a while why this asshole takes things so personally when
I try to make the point to him that he's no expert on the "Asian American
experience."  Now I know why.  You see, Mike's been everywhere, seen every-
thing, met everybody.  Amazingly, he'll dribble out "facts" about whom he's
met or where he's been or what he's learned at every turn, whether or not it's
relevant to any discussion.

---
"You know how stupid you all are?  Let me correct your funny Japanese, Dwight.
You saw *what* in Japan, Dwight?  No way.  You couldn't have.  I'VE LIVED
THERE.  Pity you didn't understand what you saw.  Second-generation Lithua-
nians, Shaw?  I've met them.  I know a hell of a lot more about them than you.
Talking about football players, Pak?  I was one.  You think you know about
lactose-deficiency, Yee?  I couldn't care less that you have it.  **I** AM
THE EXPERT ON THAT.  Experiences in Africa, people?  I've lived there too,
have friends there.  What happened to Marcus Allen, Clare?  Sheesh!  Get your
facts straight!!  I was in his car at the time!!!"

"You want to know what my wife is thinking, Pak?  Don't ask her, I can tell
you.  Oh, and btw, she hasn't suffered any racism in this country, ever.
Don't need to even ask her.  Yup, I've been with her at all times, 24 hours,
7 days a week.  She's never *not* told me about anything that could have
happened to her, not even the minor stuff.  How about you, Huang?  Don't you
know what's been going on in Turkey for the past few decades?" etc etc etc.

"Geez, what are all you people, **STUPID** or something?"
---

Sheesh!!  In my experiences, I have **NEVER** encountered a know-it-all who
was as obnoxious as Mike.  Not even close, thank God.

Mike, what's with this insecurity?  Have you ever in your adult life ever said
the words, "I don't know"?  Maybe you can say it a few times to yourself.
Nobody's going to laugh at you.

In fact, thanks for making it so damn obvious how to keep an argument going
with you.

Put up or shut up time, Fester.  You want to make some easy money?  Go to LA,
sign up to be on the game show _Jeopardy_.  Given the "dummies" you'll be up
against, you should have no problems winning the Grand Prize.  It can be quite
lucrative.  At least that's what I read in my _Money_ magazine.  I know, I
know, you wrote that article.

Jim