From: pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Montykins)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.animation,alt.slack
Subject: Re: "BoB" Owns Speilberg (Subgenius Influence in
Date: 26 Sep 92 23:07:23 GMT
Followup-To: rec.arts.animation
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <1992Sep25.171157.2755@nic.csu.net>, jtinkle@sparc1.sparc1.csubak.edu (j. tinkle ) writes:
>
>Excuse me please, for acting blonde [the color of my hair], but WHAT'S BoB!!!?
>Jennifer

Why, since you ask, what better time could there be to repost . . .

The alt.slack.FAQ!  (Readers in rec.arts.animation with a low
tolerance for pointlessness might want to hit 'n' now)


  (incidentaly, this has changed a little since I last posted it)

      Lock up your wives, husbands, children, pets, farm animals,
and office equipment! It's . . .


The ONLY sanctioned-by-Wotan alt.slack FREQUENTLY ANSWERED QUESTIONS
list!

Compiled and answered by Paul "Monty" Ashley

Q1: What is the Church of the SubGenius?
A1: Who wants to know?

Q2: Who _is_ J.R. "Bob" Dobbs?
A2: Well, he's either the only possible savior for our twisted
culture, a grinning mocker devoted to BRINGING DOWN all that is good
and wholesome, or a piece of clip art.

Q3: I'm getting kinda sick of seeing every Bozo with a scanner post
that same ASCII "Bob"head.
A3: Me too.

Q4: What's with all these people asking me to send 'em twenty bucks?
A4: Why don't you send 'em twenty bucks and find out? Or are ya
chicken?

Q5: Does the Church really sell a lot of cool stuff?
A5: Actually, yes. P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214. And you'll get
all the catchphrases you could ever need. Spend the rest of your
life with ALL your jokes written for you! Be a dogma-spouting
zombie! It's fun! Enlist today!

Q6: Who or what is "kibo"?
A6: Beats me.

Q7: Is there ever gonna be another Stark Fist?
A7: Good question. I'd say "probably", but don't quote me on it. The
folks in Dallas get real touchy if you bug them about it.

Q8: What the heck is going ON here, anyway?
A8: You wouldn't understand. We're all involved in a very
complicated summoning ritual. We're trying to summon the spirit of
JHVH-1, so we can knock it down and take its wallet.

Q9: "Slack"? What is this "Slack"?
A9: Well, it's . . . no, it's more kind of . . . y'know what? You
can't get there from here.

Q10: Do any of those neato-keen Hierarchy(tm) Sub-Geniuses read
this? Will my pathetic ramblings somehow attract the eye of famous
counter-culture heroes like Ivan Stang?
A10: Yeah, right.

Q11: Will I get ridiculed if my contribution is not up to snuff?
A11: No, no, no "snuff" goes over in alt.folklore.urban. This is
alt.slack.

Q12: Who the heck are YOU to write the FAQ list? What are you, some
kind of GOD?
A12: Hey, if you don't like it, write yer own darn list. The Church
of the SubGenius is very compatible with inherently contradictory
doctrines.

Q13: Are you serious?
A13: Step outside and say that, punk.


Send questions, additions, subtractions, $20, California raisins to:

 -Paul "Monty" Ashley
   (or KILL ME!)
-- 
  "Didn't expect to see me again,         | pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu
eh, Svengali?"                            |  [Not a UCSD employee]
     -- Bugs Bunny                        |
Newsgroups: rec.arts.animation,alt.config