From: 2760carpente@vms.csd.mu.edu (METALLICA)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: ST: The Nude Generation
Date: 6 Jan 1993 20:31:20 GMT
Organization: Marquette University - Computer Services
Reply-To: 2760carpente@vms.csd.mu.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: vmsa.csd.mu.edu


This is a parody that was posted in rec.humor a few months back.  I do not know
who the author is, but he/she has done a terrific job.  This story is very
funny.  I have only recently started following alt.st.creative and if this has
been posted before, I apologize for the re-post.  I will leave the uploading of
this story at KSU to the author.  Enjoy, I did.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author unknown....

	* * * *   S T A R   T R E K   -   The Nude Generation   * * *

                    Known Name               This Story
                    -----------------------  ----------------------
Starring:           Jean-Luc Picard          Long-Luc Dickhard
                    William Riker            William Rideher
                    Beverly Crusher          Cleverly Crusher
                    Deanna Troi              Doyouwanna Try
                    Geordi LaForge           Geordi TheLarge
                    Worf                     Whoref
                    Mr. Data                 Master Beta

Also With:          Guinan                   Guynone
                    Westly Crusher           Chestly Crusher
                    Cheif O'Brien            Cheif O'Guyin
                    Keiko                    Kinko
                    Ensign Ro                Ensign Blo

Special Guests:     Lwuxana Troi             Coxonna Try
                    Mr. Homm                 Mr. Hung
                    Dr. Leah Brahms          Dr. Leah Brahms (same)
                    Q                        Fuc-Q
                    3 of 5 (Borg - Hue)      Huege

========================================================================

    "Captain's Log - star date 42193.2.  We are currently en-route to
the Smegma system where we have a scheduled rendezvous with the Star
Cruiser Rocksoff.  There, we will be taking aboard Mrs. Coxonna Try and
Dr. Leah Brahms who are both returning to Star Base 69."

                           ---------------

    Meanwhile, Chestly Crusher is alone in his mother's quarters
browsing through the latest issue of 'Girls Over 40'.  "Oooooh", he
moans as his self service intensifies.  His stroking becomes faster,
his grip tighter, his member rock hard.  Suddenly an intense rush of
pleasure sweeps over him... as does a stream of his cum.  "Yuk! Damn!
I can't believe I did that again".  Wiping himself off with his mother's
towel he stowes the magazine under his bed.  He finds himself exhausted
and lays down to rest.

                           ---------------

    Ten-Forward is relatively quiet.  Guynone is behind the bar having
a philosophical conversation with Whoref.  "What I'm saying, Whoref, is
that I just don't feel attracted to men".  He moves back slightly on his
stool, "I don't understand.  That is unnatural.  There must be something
wrong with you".  Guynone recognizes the emphasis placed on "Wrong".

"Listen, Whoref, don't be so quick to judge what you don't understand.
I realize you Klingons consider yourselves the 'Studs' of the galaxy,
but some species prefer a soft touch to the hard, barbaric pounding you
have to offer".

"You wouldn't know anything about what I have to offer!"  Whoref snaps
back.  During his rebuttal Whoref pulls down the lower portion of his
uniform revealing the extent of his Klingon heritige.  Guynone's eyes
bulge out of their sockets.  "Damn!", she says, "Seeing that reminds
me of 'The Color Purple'!".

                           ---------------

    "Hot Chocolate", Doyouwanna's voice coos at the replicator in her
cabin.  Her patient, a newly acquired Ensign, sits nervously.

    Doyouwanna slides back into her chair, cupping the warmth of her
drink.  "Now, Ensign Onya, I sense a great need inside you", she begins.
The young girl lifts her head.  She is shy and quite beautiful.  "Oh no,
Doyouwanna, there is nothing inside me now.  I took it out before our
appointment".

    Doyouwanna smiles at the girls nievtae.  "What I meant was that I
get the feeling you desire something you've never had before".  The
Ensign's eyes immediately break contact from Doyouwanna's.  "Oh God, she
knows!" Onya thought to herself.

    Without another word Doyouwanna slips out of her chair moving
towards the Ensign.  Before Onya can blink Doyouwanna is kneeling in
front of her.  Her body feels charged with energy as Counselor Try
strokes her creamy thighs.  "You're very beautiful" Doyouwanna's voice
causes a shiver up Onya's back.  "Relax, I won't hurt you."

    Without thinking, Ensign Onya begins to disrobe.  Her innocent blue
eyes sparkle off her milk white skin.  Her breasts break free of the
snug Starfleet uniform and into Doyouwanna's mouth causing an instant
moan.

    Ensign Onya sprawls back onto the couch, now completely naked.  The
Counselor begins the Betazoid tounge taste test between Onya's legs.
Her love box is completely wet and ready, but Doyouwanna is making her
wait.  The inexperienced Ensign begins to buck in anticipation as
Doyouwanna's fingers move up and down her inner thighs, each time as
if they might make contact with her Vagina, but veering away at the
last moment.

    Finally the Counselor's fingers make contact with Onya's clitoris.
At first the Ensign is thrusting wildly, but she soon engages a rythmic
motion like a well oiled machine. Onya's shy, timid nature is unapparent
as her moans turn to screams of pleasure.  "Oh, YES!, YES!, HARDER!,
MORE!"  The ships computer responds, "Please restate request".  "FUCK ME
YOU HOT BITCH!, AHHH OHHHHHhhhhh!".  The computer continues,  "That
function is unavailable".

                           ---------------

    The turbolift was pungent with the smell of forbidden lust.  Captain
Dickhard and Commander Rideher stepped in.  Rideher took a deep breath.
He did everything deep.  Dickhard was mildly upset at the odor.  "When
are these people going to stop using the turbolift for quick encounters.
This ship is the size of a country and yet people still want to 'do it'
in the elevator!".  "I think, sir", Rideher interjects, "that they all
want to join the 'Billion Mile High' club".  Dickhard's brow rises,
"That's no excuse".  The doors opened onto the bridge and the two step
out.

    "Status, Master Beta." Dickhard becons.  Master Beta responds
instantly with a clear, pleasant tone.  "I am equiped with a 12 inch
penis designed for maximum pleasure and penetration.  My testicles are
modeled after..."  "Enough Beta!  I was referring to the status on board
this ship".  Dickhard was more aggrivated now.  Master Beta twitched his
head in thought and began again.  "Sorry, sir.  The status on board the
ship is normal.  A breakdown of recent activity reveals 1024 persons
aboard ship.  893 were participating in some sort of sexual encounter.
501 involved vaginal penetration, 356 were oral, 28 were anal, 7 were
masturbation, 1 was with a house pet.  Of the humanoid encounters, 445
were with members of the opposite sex and 125 homosexual..."  "BETA!
Please!"  Dickhard was now beyond aggrivated, he was downright horny!

                           ---------------

    "What's this?" Cheif O'Guyin looks up at his new wife serving
breakfast for the first time.  "Sushi" was the innocent reply.  "Oh, God
Kinko, if I wanted to smell raw fish in the morning I'd stick my head
between your legs!".  "Miles!", her tone rose slightly.  "OK, OK", Miles
calmed down, "I'll eat it".  Before Kinko could blink in apology her
pants came ripping off and she was tossed backwards onto their dining
table.  O'Guyin's tounge 'fished' it's way in and out of the oriental
love slit sending Kinko into a blinding ecstacy.  So intense was the
feeling that she knocked over her bowl of rice. The sensation emminating
from her pussy sent shivers up her entire body like waves of
electricity.  She grabbed her husband's head as it bobed up and down,
making sure he wouldn't stop.  She began to moan softly, "oooooh".  The
pleasure intensified her voice steadily until it reached a feverish
pitch, "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH, UH, UH, UH, UH" her orgasm jolted her
body in spasms.  Her hands, now gripping tight around her husbands head
sent it up and down with her pumping hips.  Unfortunately for Chief
O'Guyin, this meant his face was smashing into the edge of their table.
"OW, OW, OW, OW" he grunted.  It was over as quickly as it started.

    Kinko relaxed and a calm swept over her body as she sighed in satis-
faction.  Cheif O'Guying was holding his chin looking in the medicine
cabinet.  "Kinko?..." Miles waited for a response.  "Ummmm" was the only
sound she could mutter.  "I've got to get to my post.  I'll see you
later, darling."  He kissed her forehead.  As he was almost out the door
he turned, "You know I've always wondered why I'm hungry an hour after I
eat you?".

                           ---------------

    Holodeck 3 looked like an engineering lab.  Lieutenant Geordi
TheLarge was conversing with his female generated image.  "Dr. Brahms,
we are in a crisis situation, I need your help."  "No Geordi", the voice
was soft and inviting, "What you mean is that I'm a tramp meant to serve
as your personal sex slave.  To perform whatever discusting, perverted
act your filthy mind can dream up.  To submit my young, perfect body to
your need for flesh... Right!".  Geordi responded innocently, "Well,
that's another way to put it."  The holodeck creation then blinked her
lashes over her beautiful round, dark eyes.  Her lips revealed a smile.
The kind that causes and instant hard-on, and it did.  "God", he said
out loud to himself, "to think I'm actually going to meat... I mean
meet you.  Exit!".  The holodeck door revealed itself like reality
cutting into a dream.  Geordi walked out hoping the bulge between his
legs would subside quickly.

                           ---------------

    "We have reached our destination, Captain." Beta's voice was neutral
as usual.  "Thank you Master Beta, hold position."  Dickhard touched his
communicator located directly over his genitals. "Bridge to transporter
room, are we ready to beam the passengers over?".  "Uh, Ow! stop trying
to pull, it's stuck!" came the reply to a bewildered Captain Dickhard.
"Is everything alright, Chief O'Guyin?".  "Uh, sorry..." a grunting
sound accompanyed the words.  "We are ready, sir.  AHHHHHHHH!".  Rideher
interrupts "What the hell is going on down there!?".  "Sorry Commander.
My wife was just visiting me.  Kinko dear, please take the anal intruder
kit back to our room, I've got work to do.  Don't worry, we'll get it
out later."

    Captain Dickhard was feeling unusually frustrated as he turned to
Commander Rideher.  "Not only do I have to put up with Mrs. Try being
aboard", he spoke softly, "but my transporter officer is on duty with
a dildo up his ass!  My God Will, I feel like I'm losing respect."  "Oh
don't worry, sir", Rideher comforted, "we'll still respect you in the
morning".

                           ---------------

    The familiar hum of the transporter preceeded the sparkling
materialization of three figures.  Mrs. Coxonna Try stood out because
of the Betazoid tradition of travelling naked.  Mr. Hung, her personal
manservant, towered almost to the transporter ceiling.  He, however, was
not naked.  Neither was Dr. Leah Brahms, a super-intelligent (and a
superbly shaped) engineer.  She was just stepping off the transporter
when Geordi TheLarge entered the room.  "Dr. Brahms, welcome aboard the
Enter-Prize, I'm Lieutennant Commander Geordi TheLarge."  He said
cordially as he extended his hand.  Unbeknownst to everyone except
Geordi something else had also extended itself.

    The doorway parted again and in walked Doyouwanna.  "Greetings
mother, how are you?"  Coxonna stepped off the pad exhuberantly hugging
her daughter  "Oh, I'm just wonderful dear.  Now where is that cute
Captain of yours?" her eyes darted about the room.  "Please mother,
Captain Dickhard is very busy. I'm sure he'll welcome you aboard later."
Coxonna smiled as here eyes widened "And I will reciprocate by welcoming
him aboard my vessel, too!".

                           ---------------

    Captain Dickhard had just slipped on his white satin robe when the
door sounded.  He responded commandingly as ususal "Come".  Dr. Cleverly
Crusher entered "Good morning Long-Luc, how are you?"  Her tone was so
pleasant the Captain actually felt better even though he hadn't felt bad
before.  They both stood for a long moment, each immersed in their own
thoughts about the other.

    Cleverly's long, reddish hair swirled ever so slightly around her
shoulders.  It's texture looked as soft as silk, and it was.  The zipper
on her shirt was at its lowest possible position revealing two soft,
ripe mounds pressing hard against each other.  The line between them was
almost more inviting than the breasts themselves.  Her waist curved like
an hourglass, her hips rounded and continued onto legs that any man
would die to have strapped around him.

    Even though Long-Luc had only recently woken up his appearance was
more than acceptable to Cleverly.  After all, there was no hair to mess
up.  His head reminded her of the tip of a penis.  And what a penis he
had.  It had gone where no one had gone before, over and over.  But it
was more than his body that turned her on.  More than his firm but soft
chest.  More than his tight, French butt.  It was his gestures, his
attitude, his very controlling nature that showed through his face. And
this was Sunday morning... time for their weekly ritual.

    Long-Luc poured the Earl Grey tea as Cleverly licked a danish.  It
was obviously an erotic jesture designed to excite Long-Luc.  He seemed
not to notice but Cleverly knew better.  She began the conversation,
"You've been a naughtly boy, Long-Luc."  His eyes looked up from his
tea, but his mouth was still pressed against the rim "How so?". Cleverly
smiled with the face of an angel.  She reached to her side with speed
faster than warp 9.  Her smile remained the same as she produced a
black whip.  Captain Dickhard's eyes widened.  Still in his robe he
pushed out his chair with a single body motion.  The teacup was hastily
placed on the saucer as he turned to run.  Cleverly was already standing
near the door.  Long-Luc dashed for the bathroom but collapsed without
warning.  Cleverly moved forward leisurly, almost sauntering  "I spiked
your tea, Captain", two quick gigles followed.  Her soft smile faded to
a look rivaling Hitler.  She stood over the Captain like a conqueror
while calling into the air "Computer, open cabinet 'C'".  The cabinet
door slid aside revealing a myriad of masochistic pariphinalia.  Every-
thing from leather underwear to spiked bracelets were represented.
Captain Dickhard was sleeping like a tranquillized animal.

    When he awoke he was bound to his bed, adorned in the acoutrements
of cabinet 'C'.  His robe now gone, he was dressed all in black leather.
Spiked bracelets bound his legs and arms to secure points with chains.
Leather underwear may have been uncomfortable, but it was covering his
genitals.  A two inch thick spiked necklace completed the package.

    Cleverly stood over him, herself dolled up in a leather outfit.
The only difference besides the items were the texture.  Long-Luc's
were thick and hard.  Cleverly wore soft, thin leather.  Her high black
boots complimented her long legs.  She wore blue leather shorts with
a blue top that encircled her tits, allowing them to show completely.
Black leather gloves covered her hands, one of which was still holding
the whip.  She glanced down lovingly at Long-Luc.  Her breath was full
and slow, allowing her full, round boobs to heave in a motion that would
drive half the galaxy wild.

    "Don't worry Captain", she comforted, "this won't hurt a bit".  A
pause followed as she brought forth a whip.  "Ha!" she completed her
thought, "Like hell it won't!"  The sharp sound of leather cracking
echoed through the cabin like a bullet.

                           ---------------

    "What is it Master Beta?" Rideher stood motionless staring at the
main view screen.  "It is a disabled Borg scout ship, Sir.  There is
one Borg alive, four others have ceased functioning."  Rideher thought
for a moment "Ensign Douche - continue scanning for any Borg rescue
ships.  Whoref - you will be part of my away team.  Master Beta -
you have the bridge.  Mr. Crusher - maintain standard orbit... and put
that magazine away!"

    Rideher tapped his communicator as he and Whoref rode the turbolift.
"Dr. Crusher to transporter room three".

    Long Luc's cabin was dark with a purple mist in the air.  The mist
was an andorian aphrodisiac made especially for sado-masochists.  As
soon as she heard Rideher's voice Cleverly's head snapped up as if
someone had sneaked up behind her.  Her hair tossed elegantly revealing
a beautiful, but somewhat sinister face.  She was panting, and not
without reason.  She sighed in dissapointment, then dismounted Captain
Dickhard. "Damn, I was almost there."  she whispered aloud as she rushed
to put her starfleet uniform on.  Dashing to the bathroom for a moment
to check for marks and brush her hair was all she needed to do before
leaving.  At the cabin door she turned to the Captain, still chained to
the bed, "Don't go away" a snighed laugh followed as she proceeded out
into what seemed like a blinding light even though it was only the
corridor.  As the cabin doors closed a puff of purple mist escaped along
with a cry for help "Get me out of....".

                           ---------------

    "What have you done to my designs?!" Dr. Leah Brahms was still
beautiful, but also quite angry as she addressed Geordi TheLarge.
"Well, sometimes in the field we are forced to try new ideas." was
the calm rebuttal.  "Speaking of which," Geordi continued, "would you
like to get together for dinner in my cabin later?  I make a great
Moon-jelly."  The anger in Leah's face softened as a surprised smile
replaced it "I love Moon-jelly".  Geordi knowingly tilted his head and
thought to himself "I know, and I'll bet I know what else you love to
eat".

                           ---------------

    Sickbay had a new tennant in the form of an injured Borg.  Dr.
Crusher hovered over the alien tending to the wounds.  Commander
Rideher and Whoref stood back, arms folded, eyes piercing down at
their enemy.

    "That's amazing!" Dr. Crusher marveled.  "What is it, Doctor?",
Rideher was curious.  "This Borg", she replied, "is very readily
equiped".  "How so?" Whoref interjects.  "This area of his body seems
to be dedicated to sexual gratification.  These five pockets contain
all types of condoms, " Dr. Crusher presses a pocket which opens up,
"Ohhh, ribbed!" she coughs realizing her company and presses the item
back into the pocket.  Her tone once again becomes professional, "The
electronic buttons here seem to produce certain stimuli.  I wonder what
this red one is for..." as she presses the button a protective panel
in the Borg's uniform mechanically swings out.  What swings out next
causes all three to drop their jaws wide open.

    "He, e, e, es Huege!" Cleverly's voice is scratchy with surprise.
Rideher closes his mouth and replaces his look of awe with a look of
discust, "Great, we've captured Huege, the wonder stud!".  Whoref,
always thinking of security, turns to Rideher, "I'm not sure if we have
a holding cell big enough for both of them, sir."  Rideher looks back
sarcastically, "Just confine him after the doctor is through, Whoref."

                           ---------------

    Geordi TheLarge's quarters are dimly lit, soft jazz fills the air.
A quaint table is set with wine, cheese, and a covered pot in the center
containing the main dish, Moon-Jelly.  Geordi, anticipating the evenings
events, dances back and forth making sure everything is just right.

    The cabin doorbell rings, and a sinister smile takes over Geordi's
face.  "Come in", his voice is friendly and confident.  The doors slide
open.  Dr. Brahms hesitates due to this light, "Commander TheLarge?".
"Over here, I set the lights low for an intimate dinner."  She makes
her way into the room.  Her eyes begin to adjust when she notices the
table.  "It looks wonderful, you really didn't have to do this.  I'm
sorry I yelled at you this afternoon."  "Hey, no problem, doc.  Please
sit down, everything is ready".

    Leah smiles as she nibbles on some cheese.  Geordi looks on, amazed
that anyone could be so desireable.  Her face gestures as she eats are
so lovely.  He stares, inspired by her beauty, he can just picture his
cock stuffed in her mouth instead of the cheese.

    Suddenly, he snaps out of his daydream, "What, Leah?".  She repeats
herself with a smile, "I said, how did you make the Moon-Jelly?".  "Oh,"
he appears relived at an easy question, "I used a version our replicator
had.  I remember thinking of you in particular while making it."  Geordi
lifts to lid off the pot to reveal a bubling mess of rancid gellatin.
Both their faces became sour with the sight and smell which had been
contained by the lid.

    "Computer!" Geordi yells out, "What did I ask the replicator to
make for dinner?".  "You requested KY-Jelly, boiled." was the placid
response.  "Oh shit", the sound of lost hope was in Geordi's voice.

                           ---------------

    Ms. Coxonna Try was streaming down the hall.  Coming the other way
almost as fast was Chestly Crusher whose bridge duty had recently
finished.  He had stopped by his mother's cabin and was on his way to
the holodeck when... BAM!  Coxonna Try fell to the floor in a daze.
Opposite her, the young Mr. Crusher was shaking his head as he sat up
to see what he had run into.  Coxonna shuffled over to see if he was
alright when she slipped on a magazine.  Chestly tried to grab it away
but it was too late.

    A short silence ensued as Coxonna perused the magazine.  It seemed
like eternity to Chestly who was trying to think up excuses.  Coxonna
didn't give him the chance to speak.  "Hmmm, over 40, you have very good
taste my young friend."  She was now looking at Chestly in a whole new
way.  Chestly opened his mouth but before he could say anything, Ms.
Try was on her feet and had pulled him up as well.  "It is obvious,
young man" Coxonna's tone was authoritative, "that you have a serious
problem..." then she whispered into his ear, "and I intend to help."
Before he could ponder her meaning she yanked his arm jolting his body
down the hall like a small boat in tow.

                           ---------------

    "aaaaahhhhhHHHHHHHH, UH!" Captain Dickhard looked at his hand in
relief after he finally managed to free himself from bondage.  A few
minutes later he was dressed in his standard uniform and on his way
to the bridge, his step was brisk, his attitude dignified.

    The turbolift doors opened.  Captain Dickhard stepped onto an empty
bridge.  His brisk steps came to an instant halt as the reality sunk in.
His eyes darted around the room a few times attempting to locate anyone
else.  He slowly walked down the ramp to the center of the room.

    "Computer," the familiar electronic trickle followed, "current
location of Commander Rideher".  The near monotonic response was
immediate, "Commander Rideher is in Ten-Forward".  Dickhard continued
the queries, "Current location of Master Beta".  "Master Beta is in Ten-
Forward".  "Current location of Counselor Try".  "Counselor Try is in
Ten-Forward".  "What the hell...?" the Captain whispered to himself.
The pace returned to his step as he proceeded to the turbolift.

                           ---------------

    The guest quarters of Coxonna Try were filled with the sounds of
animal passion.  Two figures embraced naked on the bed.  Chestly was
thrusting his penis into Ms. Try over and over.  His movement was so
filled with pent-up frustration that the bed threatened to detach from
the wall.  Coxonna's hands held on to Chestly's soft boyish, thin hips
as he moved back and forth.  His expressions continually changed, the
look of surprise washing over his face with each re-entry.

    Chestly moved his hands onto Coxonna's well developed, heaving
breasts.  The feeling was so good he came immediately.  Despite what
most would consider a sexual conclusion, he didn't miss a beat.  Ms.
Try was well preserved for a woman of her age, and Chestly knew it.
His eyes swept over her curves, the signs of age just beginning to set
in excited him even more.  He tilted his head down and watched as his
red colored cock, fully covered with twat juice, glided in and out of
what had been his ultimate fantasy.  The sight of her vaginal hairs
parting for his intruder caused him to whip his head up and let out
a loud moan.  He could feel his cum streaming into her.  Coxonna too,
became excited at the sight of the young, undeveloped boy.  But more
enticing was the reactions she was producing from him.

    Now, with bodies pressed against each other, the pace had slowed,
but the pleasure intensified.  Coxonna felt every part of Chestly
on her, and in her, "Ohhh, it feels sooo gooood" she whispered softly.
She moved her hands from his hips to his ass, "God it is so young and
tight" she thought to herself.  Her mouth began to kiss his neck.  The
young Ensign was learning the subtle touches that produced massive
reactions as he came again.  All Betazoids had orgasms each time her
partners did, and Ms. Try was no exception.  She was being drained with
each excretion, but she was loving every minute of it...

                           ---------------

    The hallway was quiet except for the scuffing sound of Captain
Dickhard's shoes against the rug.  The large wooden doors of Ten-Forward
slid open as the Captain prepared to discover the attraction of this
part of his ship.  Long-Luc stopped dead in his tracks as a naked couple
fell out onto the floor, the support of the doors now gone.

    Long-Luc's eyes glided over the couple into the room.  The dark
lighting made it difficult to make out detail, but it was the sounds
emminating from the bar that gave away the nature of the festivities.
A blending of voices, all moaning in orchestral harmony echoed into
the hall.

    "Ohhhhhh...Ahhhhhhh..YesssUmmmmmmOhekkkAAAAhuhuhuh,Uh,UH!..."
the sounds streamed on as the Captain finally collected his thoughts.
"My God!" was all he could say at first, but at least in his usual
'Captainly' tone.  He was about to venture into the room when Guynone
appeared at the door facing him.  She was completely naked except for
her cosmic hat.  Her expression was calm and peaceful as usual.  "Damn,
why doesn't anything unnerve her?" the Captain thought to himself.
"Hello, Captain", she said as if everything was normal.  "Guynone,"
Long-Luc began with a controlled tone, "Would you explain why my entire
bridge crew is lost in a sea of flesh in Ten-Forward"?  "I think you'd
better ask Fuc-Q about that." was the reply as she gestured into the
room by the corner window.  Long-Luc could see a lone figure lounging
by the window on a table surrounded by two voluptuous women feeding
him some fruit.  Instantly he knew the omnipotent menace had returned
to reek havoc on his ship.

    While Long-Luc was pondering the problem of traversing the
conglomeration of bodies to confront the menace, he was transported
right next to Fuc-Q by the entity.  He was about to berate Fuc-Q when
he realized he was nude.  His angry face turned to a wordless look
saying 'why did you do that?'.  "Fuc-Q", Long-Luc's tone was harsh,
"I want you to leave my ship immediately"!  "Oh come now Captain,"
Fuc-Q paused a moment to consider the pun he had just made, "I am
providing your crew with a much needed social event.  And what thanks
do I get?  I mean look out there.  Everyone seems to be enjoying
themselves... and enjoying some others as well"!  Long-Luc was looking
out into the center of the room when he turned back to Fuc-Q with a
puzzled look, "Why is that support beam swaying"?  Fuc-Q squinted,
"That's not a support beam, it's just the Captured Borg showing off".

    Fuc-Q raised both his hands in the air, "Is everybody happy"!?
At that instant the entire room convulsed into a massive orgasm. Screams
of pleasure shattered the air.  Long-Luc had to duck to avoid the
liquid results of the group event.  It seemed like a shoot-out as the
Captain watched from the floor.

                           ---------------

    "How do you feel?" Rideher said cautiously as he and Counsellor
Try strolled down the hall.  She replied, "Actually quite good.  I
really didn't mind".  Rideher continued, "Yes I agree, but he still
shouldn't have done it.  I just hope the Captain understands".  They
arrived at Coxonna Try's quarters.  Before Doyouwanna could touch the
bell the doors opened.  A dazed Chestly was stepping out when he halted
at the sight of Commander Rideher and Counsellor Try.  His hair was
slightly messed, there was lipstick on his cheek, and a smirk on his
face.  Sensing what had happened, Doyouwanna's expression turned to
angry shock.  She darted her eyes right at her mother who had a larger
smirk on her face than Chestly.

    "Mother! How could you?!" Doyouwanna shouted.  "Really little one,
you should know 'how' by this time.  But if you don't we made a visual
record of our escapade".  Rideher noticed they each had a visual disk in
their hands.  Chestly produced his 'Girls Over 40' magazine and promptly
handed it to him, "Here Sir, I won't be needing this anymore".  He then
slipped by the pair and proceeded casually down the hall.  Doyouwanna
and Will turned their heads towards each other.  Her face still filled
with shock, he simply raised an eyebrow.

                           ---------------

    The Captain sat alone in his ready room.  Turning to his terminal
he began to speak.  "Captain's Log - star date 42207.5.  We are 1 hour
away from Star Base 69.  The crew seems to have suffered no ill effects
from the ordeal he caused in 10-Forward two days ago.  I, myself will be
looking forward to..." he never got to finish the sentence.

    Captain Dickhard re-materialized in Dr. Crusher's quarters.  Before
he could realize what had happened, Cleverly spoke.  "Site to site
transport Long-Luc".  She smiled and moved towards him, "We have
unfinished business", her smile widened as she landed the hypo on the
Captain's arm.

                           ---------------

    The Enter-Prize moved through space with her usual grace.  And
although space inherently had an absence of light, the glow from each
of the ships light sources sliced into the darkness.  And even though
space inherently had an absence of sound, a single sound had managed
to escape the airtight seals of the ships space-aged materials, "Oh no,
wait, Cleverly! aaaaahhhhhHHHHHHH, OWWWW!" (sound of leather cracking
as the ship glides off into the distance).
__    ___ __   ___   __    
  \     /   |     \    | V. S. Carpenter            | It takes a big man to 
   \   /    |      \   | Marquette University       | cry.  It takes an even
      /     |    |  \  | 2760carpente@vms.csd.mu.edu| bigger man to laugh at
     /      |    |     | vcarpent@nyx.cs.du.edu     | that man -Jack Handey
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                             METALLICA IS GOD
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