HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: panek@an.hp.com (Jon Panek)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: R U lokoing for Lydia?
Date: 9 Sep 92 21:27:19 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Santa Clara Division
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1.3 PL5

It's been about 16 years, but in high school I saw _Night_At_The_Opera
about 14 times.  One of the opening scenes contains this short song
in which Groucho is careening around a high-class cocktail party.  Now,
let's see how good my neurons are...

     Lydia, O Lydia
     Have you seen Lydia?
     Lydia the tatooed lady?

I don't think he ever sang any more than that...

--
Jonathan Panek
Hewlett-Packard Imaging Systems Division
3000 Minuteman Road
Andover, MA     01810
(508) 681-2866

           ==================================================
              Delivered by Electronic Sled dogs......WOOF!
                INTERNET ADDRESS: panek@hpanvi.an.hp.com
           ==================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: 10748695@eng2.eng.monash.edu.au (WILLIAM FANG)
Subject: RE: DOG POEM
Organization: Faculty of Engineering, Monash University 
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 05:21:51 GMT

>From: polecat!steve@cacti.mcws.fidonet.org
>Subject: POEM , DOG ASSHOLES
>Date: Thu, 03 Sep 92 10:09:33 PDT
...
...
>Thats why now-a-days
>any dog will stop and swap a sniff
>with any dog he meets
>and any dog will stop chewing
>on a nice and juicy bone
>to smell of another dogs asshole,
>HOPING TO FIND HIS OWN !!!!!!!!
>                  Like I said, author unknown.

Hmmm.  I just thought they wanted to keep their noses warm.

author unknown?  Sounds familiar ... oh yes, I remember finding another 
poem of his back in high school:

Seven wise men made up their minds,
To build themselves a pussy of their own design.
The first was a carpenter, full of wit,
With a hammer and chisel he made a split.
The second was a blacksmith, black as coal,
With anvil and sledge he made a hole.
The third a tailor, long and slim,
With a piece of red ribbon he lined it within.
The fourth was a furrier, big and stout,
With the skin of a bear he lined without.
The fifth a fisherman, old and bent,
With a rotten herring he gave it a scent.
The sixth a doctor, with an MD degree,
He patted it and felt it and said it would pee.
The seventh a rabbit, a mean little runt,
He fucked it and blessed it and called it a cunt.

	Quite a poet, this author unknown.


   \\\\\\///   William Fang
    | \ ~ |    
   {| @ @ |}   Mail - Internet 10748695@eng2.eng.monash.edu.au
    |  ^  |           Email    ins739l@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au
    |  .  |                    ins739l@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au
    \_____/   
     |'''|         "Dribble...dribble...dribble..."
 ____|   |____
 |           |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Followup-To: rec.humor
Keywords: n
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 23:51:40 GMT

In article <1992Sep11.183543.15676@hou.amoco.com> zcjm0f@wwnv42.uucp (CJohn Mace) writes:
>>>	In case u don't have enough culture, Portugal is that small country
>>>next to Spain, not a region in the USA. 
>>
>maybe we should have let the Germans win the war...  then at least we 
>wouldn't have to listen to this crap...  :-)
>

No- the Germans were an intensly logical people (even ole Adolph and the
astrologers, he was logical in his insanity) and they would never have
been able to cope with the Portugee.
-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: lahaye@reg.triumf.ca (RAYMOND GABIN , TRIUMF OPERATIONS)
Subject: Classic Dave Allen
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: TRIUMF: Tri-University Meson Facility
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 06:39:00 GMT

	One fine day, this Irish fellow catches a leprechon (sp?).  So he asks
for his three wishes.
	Lep: But under one condition: whatever you ask for, your neighbour will
get twice as much.
	man: ( who hates his neighbour) I want a huge 20 room mansion.
Pouf ! A mansion appears on his piece of land. Pouf ! Pouf ! Two huge mansions
appear on his neighbour's land.
	man: I want twelve beautiful women.
Pouf ! 12 women appear next to him.Pouf ! Pouf! 24 beautiful women appear next
to his neighbour.
	After a long silence, the man asks for his final wish:
	man: I want my sexual desire decreased by 50 %.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: melliott@convex.com (Mark Elliott)
Subject: Re: Humor
Organization: CONVEX Computer Corporation, Richardson, Tx., USA
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1992 22:43:38 GMT
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <1992Sep6.213655.7685@wam.umd.edu> ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect) writes:
>> > > In article <1992Sep2.171641.5679@gagme.chi.il.us>, anton@gagme.chi.il.us
>> > > (Andrzej Borowiec) says:
>> > > >>  How come this is called 'rec.humor'?
>> > > >Are you trying to start a cascade?
>> > > He's probaly got a brain tumor.
>> > Now look at the mess you made.
>>Aargh!  Stop this right now!
>Will whoever started this take a bow?
What's a cascade?



--
	Mark Elliott	melliott@trojan.convex.com
        It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that 
        caused the trouble in the garden.
From: st1ns@rosie.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request, mother-in-law jokes
Date: 15 Sep 92 03:27:00 GMT
Organization: University of Houston
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <ZDF3qB8w165w@major.panix.com>, dos@major.panix.com (Dave O'Shea) writes...
>s1110238@giaeb.cc.monash.edu.au (Lee Hollingworth) writes:
> 
>> jaa@hutcs.cs.hut.fi (Jari Alasuvanto) writes:
>> 
>> >	I would like to have some mother-in-law jokes. 
>> 
>> Definition of mixed-emotions...
>> 
>> Watching your mother-in-law drive your Porche off a cliff!
> 
>I'd have thought a Porche would be attached to the front of the White
>House...
> 
> 
>--
>"A leopard never changes his stripes" 
>           -- Al Gore, candidate for vice-president

Okay, after that one, I'm obligated.

  A recently-graduated SocSci major who had been having considerable difficulty
finding employment in his native small Southern US town was out looking for odd 
jobs to do as a means of obtaining lunch money.  Seeing the house of an obviously
well-to-do person, he boldly walked up to the front door of the large structure
and knocked at the door.  The owner, an old and aristocratically stern Southern
woman, answered and inquired as to what he might want.
  "Ah'm lookin fo' odd jobs t'help tide me ovah fo' a few days.  Ah kin do all 
so'ts o' thangs.  Whatever y'all want done, jest ask.  Ah wo'ks real reasonable."
  The woman considered for a moment, then asked him "Can y'all paint?"
  "Yes'm, paintin's mah specialty!"
  "How much y'all want fo' paintin' my poach?  Just the paintin', mind you, the
paint and tools is all back in the toolshed."
  Now, the woman had been expecting that the magnitude of the task would set the
man to flight; the house had one of the interminable porches which ran all the way 
around two entire sides of the rather large house, and halfway down a third.  And
the task had been delayed for some time, with the result that the old paint was
peeling in several areas.  But the man seemed unperturbed.  He walked to one side
of the house, peered down along it carefully and then walked to the other side and
looked there as well before returning.
  "Seventy-five." the man said, with his chin high.
  The woman was sure that the man must be truly desperate for work to bid so low, 
but ever willing to drive a hard bargain, she added "Now, you sure about that?  
You'll need to give it a good scrapin' first, the paint's been left go too long."
  "Seventy-five.  Yes, mam."
  "All right, then, go ahead."  She watched as he dutifully trooped around the 
house to the toolshed and began hauling out the paint and other tools, and then
went back to what she had been doing.
  About two hours later, the sounds of loud scraping having ceased a while before,
she heard another knock; this time at the back door.  There stood the man, paint
splatters on his clothes and brush in hand.  "All finished, mam.  Jus' one thang,
tho'.  That warn't no Poach, that wuz a Mussedes."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal)
Subject: Re: Request for Proctology Jokes 
Organization: liver ---> spleen
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 19:27:15 GMT

In article <1992Sep10.182534.10000@aisg.com> tcurrey@aisg.com (Thomas
E. Currey) writes:  >

>Is there a list,  or send them to me and I will make a 
>list of Proctology Jokes.

Seems Joe was in the was in the war and lost his eye.  Now he's got a
glass one, but he has the bad habit of taking it out and playing with
it.  Nothing serious, just something to do to pass the time while
drinking a martini or two after work.

One day Joe has a particularly rough day at work so at his usual stop on
the way home he has a few more martinis than usual.  He'd taken
out the eye and was rolling it around in his hand when it dropped into the
martini glass.  Without realizing it, Joe gulped the rest of the martini,
olive and all, thereby swallowing the eye.

Well, the eye rolls its way down through Joe's stomach and intestine and
lodges in his asshole.  Stops him up completely.  Constipation.  Terrible
thing, you know.  So here's old Joe, missing and eye, and constipated.
Doesn't quite know what to do about either problem.

Finally Joe gets an appointment with the proctologist even though he's
not very fond of doctors.  The day of the appointment comes and Joe is
there on time but nervous.  He gets to the doctor's office and is told
to change into one of those stupid hospital gowns and lie down on the
examination table.  The proctologist comes in and says "OK, Joe, we're
gonna start by taking a good look around.  Please get on your hands and
knees on the table."

Joe complies.

"Very good.  Now bring your knees up to chin level and spread your cheeks
so I can get a good view."

Joe does it and there, staring out of Joe's ass is the missing eye.

The doctor says "look, Joe, if you want me to help you you're gonna have
to trust me."

-- 
Sam Saal      kingfish!saal OR saal@kingfish.att.com
	Vayiftach HaShem et Peah Ha`Aton
From: beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca (Denis Beauregard)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: UOD Adult Course listing
Date: 9 Sep 92 13:54:24 GMT
Organization: Institut de recherche d'Hydro-Quebec, Varennes, Canada

You forget the class course of Vernaculaire Language.

Probably the language spoken by the most (75% of earthpersons at least).

-- 
  \_\    Denis Beauregard  *  internet:beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca
 /   \   Genealogiste officiel : Beauregard/Jarret/Jarest/Vincent
J   __>  Un Quebec renouvele dans une Amerique renovee
\_.-===                                                  Opinions ? Et pis non !
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Sstevens@oregon.uoregon.edu (Shirien Stevens)
Subject: Request:  Blond jokes .... I delete mine accidentally
Organization: University of Oregon
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 14:46:29 GMT


Forgive me, but I printed out the blond jokes to send to my brother who is a 
salesman in the more masculine trades, and ..... oops.  anyway, I can't find 
them and I had already deleted the file to save space...

no, I am not blond....

anyway, if somebody has them, would you please send them to me?  THANKS!!!

sstevens@oregon.uoregon.edu

shirien
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: "frank rosenbaum" <frank.rosenbaum@execnet.com>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: you're sooo ugly joke
Date: 9 Sep 92 21:24:31 EST
Reply-To: "frank rosenbaum" <frank.rosenbaum@execnet.com>
Distribution: rec
Organization: Executive Networks Information

>> >
>> > I could stick yo' head in some dough, and make me some go-RILLA
>cookies!
>> >
>> > I could put a piece of tracin' paper over yo' head, and draw me
>> > a MOOSE face!
>> >
>> You're uglier than the south end of a north-bound horse!
>>
>> You're so ugly, the doctor who delivered you didn't know which
>> end to slap!
>>
>You're so ugly, the doctor slapped your mother instead!
>
AA> You're so ugly that doctor ran away before you were all out!
And I heard that you were a breach birth.

               Frank in White Plains, NY
---
  DeLuxe 1.25 #1000  EWUE--What's THIS thing called---- love!!!
--
Executive Network Information System  (914) 667-4567
International ILink Host
From: webdw@cbnews.cb.att.com (bruce.d.woods)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Date: 11 Sep 92 16:54:08 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: AT&T

In article <1992Sep10.001958.14093@nsisrv.gsfc.nasa.gov> wes@ian.stx.com (John S.) writes:
>Those familiar with stock car racing know of a driver named 
>Dick Trickle. (sp.) It's amazing to here the announcers pronounce
>his name with nary a chuckle. 


One Congressman from New Hampshire is named Dick Swett
From: peterm@ocf.berkeley.edu (Peter Mardahl)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Vile Original Limericks
Date: 7 Sep 1992 22:47:29 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: hailstorm.berkeley.edu
Keywords: limericks, vile, dirty

Warning!  Some of the following (original)  limericks are very VILE.
Limericks are supposed to be dirty, but some of these
may exceed your standards.

If you're the type of person who is offended by such things,
do everybody a favor and don't read the following, and DON'T
post any stupid complaints about it on this newsgroup.

There was a cool dude named Dean,
Who was smart, tall, and lean.
He went to England one day,
Got his prick ripped away,
And the Limey's now hail him as Queen!

There once was a dude named Peter,
Who claimed he could cum a whole liter.
When forced to prove it,
He couldn't do shit,
So now all call him Millimeter!

(You kind of need to know Kirk to get this one, but he was
the type of dude who liked being in authority.)

Once there was a redhead named Kirk,
Who held down a job as a clerk.
One day he found out,
That he had no clout--
So the damned jerk of a clerk went Berserk!




The following "limericks" were written to denigrate a certain
set of high school pictures.  The reader was to fill in the
blanks.  In the interest of avoiding lawsuits, I'll leave
the blanks.  No literary criticism, please.

OOOh, a teacher intolerably gross,
Who inches erotically close,
To every boy and girl,
To every fag and churl--
Such a perverted sick man is _______!

A man who delights to give licks,
To four-year-olds' pricks,
Got caught molesting,
A child, protesting---
No, No, don't do this to me _______!
From: reykja@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Reykja Sigurdsson)
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 02:39:39 GMT
Subject: Re: Grammar
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: rec.humor

In rec.humor, bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash) writes:

> In article <!-ln!8#@lynx.unm.edu>, bantolph@carina.unm.edu (Bard's are
> the Best) writes:
> |>	Tis iz fer al u nurdz hoo, Ar stuk oN; kerrrektin gramir? wId diss
> |>rtikel yoo kIN hav lotz uv funn: an kerect (stuf untle (yer hartz desir@
> |>may be wile yer Buzy fiksin thiss u wil leve evry litel misteak Thatt 
> |>apeerz in odder artikels an stopp ANoyiN de resst uv uss wid yer anel 
> |>retentiv natur! hOO cars iff sumbudy fergot ann a-postrivfe merk sumware.
> |>
> |>
> |>	IFF ENYBUDY fIKSEZ DIS DEY R HOPLES!
> |>
> |> 
    
       This is for all you nerds who are suck on correcting grammar. With
this article, you can have lots of fun and correct stuff until your 
heart's desire. Maybe while you are fixing this, you will leave everyone 
little mistake that appears in other articles and stop annoying the rest
of us with your anal retentive

       AAAAAAAAA!!!! This borink...
From: pstlb@acad2.alaska.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: More tasteless acronyms (or The Tale of the Unfinished List)
Date: 11 Sep 92 19:08:39 GMT
Organization: University of Alaska

ACRONYMS FOR COMPUTER HACKERS AND/OR THE GENERAL PUBLIC

BFD = Big Fucking Deal
FTS = Fuck This Shit
SFT = Same Fucking Thing
SBDD = Same Bullshit, Different Day
RSN = Real Soon Now
PIYAN = Plus If You Act Now
FYSM = Fuck You, Sue Me
RTFM = Read The Fucking Manual
VAX = Very Asinine information eXchange machine
MS-DOS = Microsoft's Semi-Decipherable Operating System
IYKWIMV = If Ya Know Whut I Mean Vern
TTYL = Talk To You Later
FUBAR = Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition/Repair
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
SMF = Stupid Mother Fucker
BUSH = Bullshitting Unites States Hotshot
CLINTON = Couldn't Lick It, Now Taking On Nation
GFI = Go For It
WINDOWS = Was Inane, Now Deemed Only Workable System 
IDJ = It's dead, Jim/Important Data Junked
ROFTLMAO = Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off 
SNAFU = Situation Normal, All Fucked Up
SEP = Someone Else's Problem
FTB = Fuck The Bastard
OBE = Other Bugger's Effort (British)
FTD/P = Fuck The Dog/Pup
STP = Screw The Pooch
PPPPPPP (P^7) = Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Programming
FRED = Fuckin' Ridiculous Electronic Device
TUITD = Tits Up In The Ditch
SNARF = Situation Normal, Absolutely Royally Fucked
BAFFLED = Beyond All Fixablility, Fucking Low-quality Electronic Device
FYATHYRIO = Fuck You And The Horse You Rode In On
KMSWA = Kiss My Skinny/Shiny White Ass


Again, *PLEASE* Email me any additions you make and post, so's I can add them 
to the master list.....

Don't have a fit if your name isn't mentioned.....  It didn't occur to me to 
mark down names when I began this, and starting now seems so unfair to the rest
who contributed..... If you really have a problem with it, Email me your name,
along with what you contributed, and I'll add it..... (Note:  Only first person
answering will be added, all others will be immediately tracked down and shot
as impostors.....)  As you can see, the list is growing longer, and more
vulgar.....

Disclaimer:  This is a disclaimer.

Additional note:  All opinions reflected here are my own, and do not in any way
                  represent those of my additional personalities.  :)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cbergren@comm.mot.com (Craig Bergren)
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Organization: Motorola Land Mobile Products Sector
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 21:10:32 GMT

In article <weg9z5200UhW41t3IE@andrew.cmu.edu>, Lori Cole <lc1r+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
|> I went through school with April N. (no middle name, just an initial)
|> Paris.  Some parents merit capital punishment.
|> 
 Candy Barrs and Ella Phant were one grade ahead of me in high school.
 Ella's brother, Richard, was a good freind of mine. He said his father
 was sadistic.
-- 
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
   The  secrecy  of my job  prevents  me from  knowing  what I know.  The     
   opinions I hold are not mine nor are they those of my employer.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Re: nursery rhymes
Organization: ZOOiD BBS
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 19:43:47 GMT

If you think Richard Digance is funny, try Andrew Dice Clay. He calls those
"nude poems" and he is outrageous. Ask any lovely female and she will tell ya.

Mark K.
E-Mail: kovarski@zooid.guild.org
From: altshule@skid.ps.uci.edu (Eric Altshuler)
Subject: Re: Proctology
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Organization: University of California, Irvine
Date: 10 Sep 92 21:35:25 GMT

A doctor was walking down the hall of his office with a rectal thermometer
behind his ear.  A nurse asked him why he had his rectal thermometer behind
his ear.  He takes it and looks at it and shouts, "Oh no! Some ass-hole's
got my pencil!!"
                          -Eric
From: ra00+@andrew.cmu.edu (Robert Agustin)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Date: 11 Sep 92 21:18:40 GMT
	<1992Sep11.074144.133027@zeus.calpoly.edu>
Organization: Sophomore, Math/Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

On 11-Sep-92 in Re: Agnostics and Athiests   
user John Munch@hertz.elee.ca writes:
>>In article <1992Sep9.035141.27315@athena.mit.edu>
krpeters@athena.mit.edu (Karl
>>> R Peters) writes:
>>>>In article <92252.145310HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu> <HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu>
writes:
>>>>>In article <1692@heurikon.heurikon.com>, deanc@ex.heurikon.com
(Dean Cheney)
>>>>>says:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF THIS DOESN'T STOP, IM GOING TO START THE WORST
CASCADE  
>>>  .
>>>>>>EVER
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHILE EATING THIS SLOP, I SEWED THE FIRST BROCADE BEAVER.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>BILE FITTING RIG STOP, LIE SPEWED THIRST LIVER !!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE, AT LEAST DELIVER...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHO MAY I ATTRIBUTE TO THIS BEASTLY SLIVER?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>TO SPAY A LUTE IN A GREASY RIVER
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>DAMN CASCADERS THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I WILL NOT CASCADE; NOPE, NO, NEVER
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A TRAIN?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, IN THE RAIN?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>R2-D2 ON THE BRAIN?
>>>>>>>>>>>>This cascade is damn insane!
>>>>>>>>>>>And it's really getting lame!
>>>>>>>>>>POST IN CAPS YOU WEIRDOS, WHAT ARE YOU DEAF ? !!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>YOUVE RUINED MY RIGHT EAR, HOW 'BOUT THE LEFT?
>>>>>>>>LEFT AT THE NEXT LIGHTS, UNLESS RED
>>>>>>>THIS SILLY THING IS SOMETHING I DREAD,
>>>>>>BETTER I SHOULD BE BUSY IN BED !
>>>>>WANKER, GIVE THY HAND A REST!
>>>>PUT YOUR SISTER TO THE TEST.
>>>GIVE YOUR MOTHER ALL THE REST.
>>GETTING LAID BY GRANDMA IS THE BEST!
>I LIKE KINKY THE THINGS SHE DOES WITH TOAST!
BUT WHAT I LOVE INVOLVES HER ROAST!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: usenet@inesc.pt (USENET News System)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Keywords: n
Reply-To: jota@iguana.UUCP (Joao Pedro Martins)
Organization: INESC - Inst. Eng. Sistemas e Computadores, LISBOA, PORTUGAL.
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 16:35:11 GMT

In article <1992Sep12.235140.2399@venice.sedd.trw.com> gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore) writes:
>In article <1992Sep11.183543.15676@hou.amoco.com> zcjm0f@wwnv42.uucp (CJohn Mace) writes:
>>>>	In case u don't have enough culture, Portugal is that small country
>>>>next to Spain, not a region in the USA. 
>>>
>>maybe we should have let the Germans win the war...  then at least we 
>>wouldn't have to listen to this crap...  :-)
>>
>
>No- the Germans were an intensly logical people (even ole Adolph and the
>astrologers, he was logical in his insanity) and they would never have
>been able to cope with the Portugee.

	Yeah, illogical, but PROUD of it...

>-- 
>Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
>TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
>P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
>Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946


----
 joao Pedro Martins, Lisboa, Portugal - jota@tutor.UUCP
 
 "Carpe Diem, she muttered, and laughed. We seize the day.	
  Well, sometimes, the day seizes back !" (Psychodrome) 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jle@locus.com (John Elghani/10000000)
Subject: FATHER AND SON
Organization: LC
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 07:18:30 GMT


Child:  Mother, what is a dick?
Mother: Where did you hear this?  How shamefull! Shut up.
Child:  I've got to know, I've got to.
Mother:  OK, go ask your father, I am shy to tell you.
Child:  Dad, what's a dick?

Father takes his child to the bathroom drops his own pants and points
to his own penis.

Father:  This is a dick, I mean this is a real dick.  Ask all of the 
	 neighborhood ladies.  Its the best dick in the universe.

Child goes to school, gathers all of his friends in the bathroom: I 
found out what a dick is. He drops his pants down and points to his 
penis:  If this was an inch SHORTER it could be the best dick in the universe,
Dady said.

jle
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: lange@reg.triumf.ca (FLOUNDERING IN A QUANTUM SEA...)
Subject: Re: Re: POLITACALLY CORRECT DOUBLE SPEAK????
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: TRIUMF: Tri-University Meson Facility
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 21:08:00 GMT

In article <12300133@hpmwetg3.sr.hp.com>, dondd@hpmwtd.sr.hp.com (Don Dillon) writes...
> 
> 
>Fat person                              gravitationally challenged
> 
> 

	Rather, that should be ``Nutritional Overachiever'' 

---
TLB:  Who am I?  Mary Tyler Moore c.1952, or Marilyn Quayle?
      Bad physicist!  Impolitic physicist!  B-)