From: Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Re: -= Signature Recommendations =-
Organization: ZOOiD BBS
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 07:22:17 GMT

Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org> writes:
>                        The Funniest Lines
>                        ==================
>
>Here is a collection of Lines. You can use any of them in your
>signatures files. This list will be updated regularly. Enjoy...
>
>"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>"If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - Bill Gates
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating
> system, and possible program, of all time." - Bill Gates, 1987
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>"OS/2 is destined to be a very important piece of software. During the
>next 10 years, millions of programmers and users will utilize this 
>system." Bill Gates, 1988
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>"In fact, I don't think 7-11s even take coupons. I should check that
>out..." - Bill Gates, 1992 
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>"While we liked developing Windows applications, we never inhaled."     
>- Philippe Kahn, 1992
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>"New GUIs from IBM and NeXT make Windows look old hat." 
>- Datamation, 1992
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>" Why are manhole covers round?
>  How many gas stations are there in the U.S.?"
>- Interview questions asked by Microsoft, 1992
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>(Dos + Windows + ATM) < OS/2 2.0!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>2.0 is better than 1.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Bugs come in through open Windows.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS!  Try today's OS/2!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Dos: Venerable.  Windows: Vulnerable.  OS/2: Viable.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Scanning for Viruses...Windows Found! Please Remove.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Friends don't let friends use Windows.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Have you crashed your Windows today?
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>He who laughs last uses OS/2.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>How do you make Windows faster?  Throw it harder!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>How do you spell relief? OS/2!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>I love running Windows! NOT!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>I smashed a Window and saw... *OS/2*
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>I use OS/2 2.0 and I don't care who knows!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>It takes 2.0, baby, it takes 2.0...
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>My best view from a Window was through OS/2.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>One man's Windows are another man's walls.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2 2.0: Taking the wind out of Windows.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2 in '92!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2: Bill Gates' worst nightmare!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2: Logic, not magic.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2: Not just another pretty program loader!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2: The choice of the next generation.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2: Windows done RIGHT!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2: Windows with bullet-proof glass.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2: The human way of Computing!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>OS/2: Your brain.  Windows: Your brain on drugs.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>See the Future; See OS/2.  Be the Future; Run OS/2.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>The sad thing about Windows bashing is it's all true.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Wait for OS/2 2.0 - the best Windows tip around!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>What I like about MS is its loyalty to customers!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>What's so great that people are switching to Windows?
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>What?!?  DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke?
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>WindowError:001 Windows loaded.  System in danger.
>WindowError:002 No error . . . yet.
>WindowError:003 Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every 
>                file.
>WindowError:004 Erronious error.  Nothing wrong.
>WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted.  System confused.
>WindowError:006 Malicious error.  Desqview found on drive.
>WindowError:007 System price error.  Inadequate money spent.
>WindowError:008 Broken window.  Watch for glass fragments.
>WindowError:009 Horrible bug encounterd.  God knows what has happened.
>WindowError:00A Promotional literature overflow.  Mailbox full.
>WindowError:00B Inadequate disk space.  Need 50 meg minimum.
>WindowError:00C Memory hog error.  More ram needed.  More!  More!
>WindowError:00D Window closed.  Do not look out.
>WindowError:00E Window open, do not look in.
>WindowError:00F Unexplained error.  Please tell us how it happened.
>WindowError:010 Reserved for future mistakes
>WindowError:014 Nonexistent error.  This cannot really be happening.
>WindowError:015 Unable to exit windows.  Try the door.
>WindowError:016 Door locked.  Try control-alt-delete
>WindowError:017 Keyboard locked.  Try anything you can think of.
>WindowError:018 Unrecoverable error.  System destroyed.
>WindowError:019 User error.  It's not our fault.  Is not!  Is not!
>WindowError:01A Operating system overwritten.  Terribly sorry.
>WindowError:01B Illegal error.  Do not get this error.
>WindowError:01C Uncertainty error.  Uncertainty may be inadequate.
>WindowError:01D Unable to figure out our own code.  System crashed.
>WindowError:01E Timing error.  Please wait.  And wait.  And wait.
>WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes
>WindowError:020 Error recording error codes.  Remaining errors lost.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows 3.1 - The Best $89 Solitaire Game You can Buy!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows = Training wheels for OS/2!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows = Turn a 386/25 into a 4.77 Mhz XT
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows is a pane
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows is great if you can make it work.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Fuctionally Challenged"
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows NT: From the makers of Windows 3.0!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows NT? New Technology?  I don't think so...
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows NT? Want to run it? Check IEEE Spectrum "TERAFLOPS GALORE."
>----------------------------------------------------------------------- 
>Windows: A View to be Killed.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows: The CP/M of the future!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows: The Gates of hell.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows?  Homey don't play that!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windows?  WINDOWS?!?  Hahahahahehehehehohohoho...
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>You're throwing it all out the Windows!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>                           
>-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=END OF FILE=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
> 
>


Another addition...

Windows: It's not pretty. It's not ugly. It's pretty ugly!

Newsgroups: comp.os.os2.advocacy