HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: ...Makes Them Laugh?NOW: care about me? nah!
From: rcbi110@marshall.wvnet.edu
Date: 18 Dec 92 14:42:24 -0500
 <1992Dec16.100942.119668@marshall.wvnet.edu> <BzEsGC.Kuy@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>
Organization: Marshall University

>>> 	2) A man that can help burden my sorrows, and allow me to help with
>>                                                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>> 	his. Pain is never easy to deal with, but with the right person, the
>>        ^^^
>>
>>Is it just me, or do a lot of guys think that "aw, no girl would want to
>>bother with my problems."
>>
>>
> No, it's not just you.  It took me 9 months to even tell my current RP
> anything I felt without just exploding at her.  Granted, during those
> 9 months she wasn't my RP, just a very good friend, but the net
> result is the same.  I don't share pain, except when too much pressure
> builds and I explode, then I can dole it out in nice, generous
> quantities.  

I don't have any trouble at all telling someone how I feel, aside from the
usual butterflies.  My point was that if I _did_ tell someone how I felt,
and she replied with genuine interest and empathy, I would think to
myself "Could she really _care_???... Nah! Couldn't be!"

It's not so bad that it prevents me from having a girlfriend or anything like
that.  When my ex-SO told me she cared, etc.  I took her word for it.  I knew
on a cerbral level, that yes, she _did_ care.  But I just couldn't FEEL it.
It wasn't something that ever caused a problem though.

((   ||  /\\ \\  / /\\  ((      R. Alan Monroe       ((   STOP             ((
 )) _// /--\\ \\/ /--\\  )) rcbi110@muvms3.wvnet.edu  ))  TALKING...        ))
((              _       ((                           ((       START        ((
 ))  ||  /\\  //  ||_/   ))    Pinkwater Rules!       ))      CHALKING!     ))
((  _// /--\\ \\_ || \  ((            :^)            ((               -CMB ((

Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 18:52:41 -0500 
From: "Francis J. Yenca" <fy03+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Save Me!

Cheryl writes:

>We all know women who have rescue fantasies (Prince Charming'll come along and
>take me away from all this, etc.), but do men ever have "rescuer" fantasies?

>Do men ever want to "sweep a girl off her feet"?  

Yes.  Check out "A truly romantic story" on a.r.chat.

Frank
From: Gleeep@cup.portal.com (Dave - Silon)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Desire
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 21:34:20 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world


7/3/90

I danced upon a dragon's wing
A strange and scaly
Leath'ry thing
That stretched along a darkened cave
The silent place
That dragons crave
To wait out their eternity
No thought of soft amenity

I danced among the coursing veins
Of dragon life
Of human bane
And watched the wisdom flowing there
No thought, no word
No earthly care
Could to a dragon's life compare


- Gleeep
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Subject: Re: Romantic Relationships and Friendships
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 00:23:08 GMT

In article <1gkojqINNe3c@bHARs12c.bnr.co.uk> dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
>In article <1992Dec15.005222.17799@netcom.com> marcia@netcom.com (Marcia) writes:
>>But the "chemistry" (oh no, here come the
>>flames) has usually been evident.
>
>Can you say a bit more about this "chemistry" stuff, Marcia? I think some
>of my problems (and maybe others') lies in the area of the mysterious
>"chemistry". 

This is kind of why I said "here come the flames", even though this isn't a
flame: I don't have a precise definition, and any one I offer is probably not
going to hold true for everyone (and will be disagreed with :-).

For me, it's the feeling of being in synch with someone - not reading minds,
but knowing I'm interested and knowing they're interested. It's not lust,
because it seems to operate on a higher level - ok, there's usually a good
dollop of physical attraction, but there's much more mental and emotional
attraction. To me, it also feels like my senses are somewhat heightened, and
there's a kind of tension - not a sexual tension, but something that says
"There is something happening here".

I don't know about others, but I have never had anything work out where this 
sense of "something's happening" wasn't present. I call that chemistry.
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone)
Subject: Do Women Really Want A Guy That Makes Them Laugh?
Keywords: Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk!  Woo-woo-woo-woo!  Hey Moe! Hey Larry!
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 19:34:39 GMT



Ladies of A.R. :

I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor".  Well, pardon
me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague.  Just what do
women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?

I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
who can make me laugh."  There *must* be a hell of alot more to
it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
should be dripping with women.  Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
What else are you looking for?  

---- T.R. Stone
     Average-Looking, Kinda Funny, Completely Perplexed By Women
From: keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Seeking advice...
Date: 14 Dec 92 23:25:10 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: California-Nevada Methodist Homes

In article <1992Dec10.175514.18897@pony.Ingres.COM> kyle@Ingres.COM (Kyle Smith) writes:
>	How do we tell our parents about our age difference? I mean I am
>	33 and she is 18 and we think said parents may have a little problem
>	Any suggestions as how to break the news to them? Thanks in advance!

Don't worry about it at all, Kyle.  When you meet her parents, just 
introduce yourself and be nice.  Talk to them a lot.  Smile a lot.
Act like the fact that there is an age difference hasn't even entered
your mind.  If they ask about it, pretend that you're shocked that
they would even ask.  Example: "I don't even notice any difference.
I haven't seen that it matters."  If you act like it matters, then it
will.  If you act paranoid about it, then they will pick up on this
and it won't work.  I've been there in the same situation, and I
even got the blessing of the father to marry his daughter!  Of
course, the relationship later didn't work out, but it wasn't because
of the age difference!  
--Keith

Organization: Senior, English, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 21:08:12 -0500 
From: "Pamela J. Bernhardt" <pb2i+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Forgiveness Question


With all this talk about forgiveness, I have a lot of questions in my head.
a) What exactly are you forgiving?
Unfaitfulness Which is what?
Is it being with another person instead of your SO?
Is it enjoying someone else's company who happens to be of the relevant gender.

If we're talking physical unfaithfulness, what is that?
Is it a kiss?
Is it a fondle?
Is it intercourse?

Please define these terms, andthen I can give an opinion on whether or
not a person should be forgiven etc.

Thanks

A confused and Stressed
Pam
From: bsamman@ocf.berkeley.edu (Ben Samman)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: LDR's
Date: 18 Dec 1992 22:46:35 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: whirlwind.berkeley.edu


For those of you in LDR's who are seeing your SO's this winter break, 
congrats!  For some of us, Winter Break is the only time save summer when
we can be un-stressed and happy with our SO's and for me, she's not here.
She's gone home for the break-The prices we pay for seeing each other on
a regualar basis here.

Are there any of you out there that feel like this?  

Ben.
bsamman@ocf.berkeley.edu
Too lazy to be .sigged
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: Complete stangers/friends/now what???
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 18:06:57 GMT

In article <92350.180138RAP115@psuvm.psu.edu> RAP115@psuvm.psu.edu (Robbie Po) writes:
>Here's a reason why I hate semester ends.  This gal and I were complete
>strangers.  Somehow, I worked my way up to talking to her, and over the
>past few weeks, we've sat next to each other, and we've become really
>good friends.  Now, the semester's over.  Do I ask to keep in touch or what?
>Also, how can you find out if someone has a SO?  Personally, I think it's
>a little rude to ask her if she has a boyfriend because if she does, that
>will definitely affect the friendship that I've worked so hard to get.
> ANybody with these answers out there - I could use them!!!  Thanks!!!
> P.S.  I, too, have a problem with signs.  She always seems to turn her
>head to the left over to me (where I'm sitting) and she'll always put her
>hands through her hair at least 2-3 times during the class.  I don't want
>to lose my friendship with her, but I've been dying to go out with her ---
>to ask her out.  I'll only see her once more this year.  What do I do????
>** Rob **
>

Rob:

    I am always glad to hear someone has met someone they like.

    My suggestion is that you contact her, and invite her to get
together. Choose something that doesn't sound too romantic, like lunch
or coffee. If this goes well, ask her out to do something a little more
like a date. Keep making the dates a little more romantic each time.
Only worry about one date at a time.  Eventually, she will get the idea
that you want to be more than friends. If she doesn't like the idea,
she will tell you.

    This may sound like a hard way to find out what you want to know,
but in my opinion it is the best way. It gives her plenty of time to
get used to the idea that you are interested in her. It gives you both
time to get to know each other. And it gives her time to decide what
she wants to do.

    Asking someone if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend is rude. The
reason why is that it sounds like you are saying: I think you should be
my girlfriend, and I demand that you either be my girlfriend or tell me
exactly why you cannot be my girlfriend. Not tactful. 

    Someone else suggested that you look for clues like pictures. This
is a bad idea. I have pictures of girlfriends (romantic and not) in my
home, but I am unattached at the moment. Clues tend to be misleading.

    There are lots of reasons that someone would not want to get involved
besides not liking you or having a boyfriend. You can't expect to anticipate
all of them. Don't try.

Good Luck,
Michael.


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: eagle@garfield.catt.ncsu.edu (Daniel L'Hommedieu)
Subject: Re: ADVICE GIVERS - help me please
Organization: North Carolina State University
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 15:56:32 GMT

an2517@anon.penet.fi writes:
>          So here is the problem, he is really grumpy lately.  He
>complains about everything in my hometwon.  He hates his job, hates
>the weather, hates the fact that it takes us 5 hours to drive to see
>his friends.  I understand, and try to be as sympathetic as possible,
>but there is anly so much that I can take.

I'm no expert, but based on what I hear, this may be the beginnings of
medical depression.  This does not mean that he is necessarily sad all
the time; that's a different kind of depression.

Just over a year ago, every slight thing would irritate me.  My RA told
me I should go to the school counselor's office.  My friends told me so,
too.  Some teachers even mentioned it.  I hated everything.

But it wasn't me--Daniel--that hated everything.  I had changed.
Something was different inside me.  That something was a complete
schedule change.

I usually sleep somewhat normal hours--say midnight to 7 or 8 am.  Due
to a job I had, I was getting in some nights as late as 5am, and not
getting to sleep until the sun had risen.  Kinda puts a damper on the
next day, no doubt.  Then it got to where, no matter what time I got in,
I couldn't get to sleep until, say, 3am--even if I laid down at
midnight.  But I still had to get up at 7:30!  

Eventually the lack of sleep got to me, and my irritation was the
result.

If you're still in school, have your boyfriend see the school
psychologist...it's free (at least where I go).

Oh, I just realized this post has nothing to do with romance.  Alas, I
don't want to retype it, so I'll just post it.  I apologize.

Daniel
--
Daniel L'Hommedieu / Junior, CSC Depatment, NCSU / eagle@catt.ncsu.edu
From: Rec.humor.funny:				   "Ich bin ein Adler"
      My unique solution to two of the world's problems:
      "Feed the Homeless to the Hungry"
From: bjr@cellar.org (The Keymaster)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How do you win someone back.
Date: 15 Dec 92 22:56:45 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system

IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU (World Leader) writes:

> If any of you have succeeded at this, let me know how you
> did it!!!  I've tried expensive gifts and everything.  I am
> at the end of my rope.  I was going to be married to my man in
> April...I love him dearly.
> 
> Andie.


Well, it might help if I knew why you two broke up in the first place.
It may not be possible to win him back if he doesn't love you, but does love 
someone else.  If, however, it is only a personal problem, there is probably 
some middle ground which can be reached.  I need more detail.

KM

A pipe gives a wise man time to think
and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: collins@blkbox (Chad R. Collins)
Subject: Re: Romantic Relationships and Friendships
Organization: The Black Box, PO Box 591822 Houston, TX 77259-1822 
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 19:46:52 GMT

petitc@nuge115.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:

>collins@blkbox (Chad R. Collins) writes:

>>kchin@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Ken H Chin) writes:

>>	I agree completely with the idea that romance should develope out
>>of friendship, however, I have found that it usually doesnt work out. I
>>find that while I may look at friendship as a possible lead into romance,
>>most of the time my partner usually thinks that I am just not interested and
>>looks elsewhere for romance. *Sigh* It usually means that I end up with 
>>alot of good friendships, but ones that cannot develope past that point.
>>Anyone figured out a good way around this problem?

>  Perhaps you should subtly let her know you are interested.  Not outright, but
>subtly.

	I think that has got to be the answer to just about anything- take
the midline approach (remember the "nice guy" disussion?) The problem with
it is that is always hard to maintain that balance and also it is hard to
figure out what others consider balanced. My subtle may be TOO subtle for
her, or vice versa. Oh well.... if life was easy, it wouldn't be nearly so
interesting. :)

Chad R. Collins
collins@blkbox.com

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@vccsouth02.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Song Info Requested
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 03:25:06 GMT

I rememberd some beautiful songs, and would like to know (1) Who wrote these
things, and (2) What album they were on (the rest of the lyrics would also
be appreciated):

(1) "Cool Night" (??)

It's gonna be a cool night.
Just let me hold you
By the firelight.
If it don't feel right,
You can go.
...
Come on over tonight.
Come on o-over.
It's gonna be a cool night.
Just let me hold you
By the firelight.
If it don't feel right.
You can go.

On a cool night.
Brings back memories of a good night,
When our love was not so low...

(2) "Hello" by Lionel Richie

Is it me you're looking for?

'Cuz I dunno where you are,
And I don't know what to do.
Are you somewhere,
Feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart,
For I haven't got a clue.
But let me start by saying
"I love you."

(3) "Love Comes Walking In"

  Well, thanks in advance.



-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
From: jbartran@sciences.sdsu.edu (Jonathan Bartran)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: sun 7:40 pst  wanna chat
Date: 14 Dec 1992 03:45:38 GMT
Organization: San Diego State University, College of Sciences
NNTP-Posting-Host: sciences.sdsu.edu
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]


I'm at my terminal now, and open for discussion. (i'm bored)  I'm 23, engaged,
and about to graduate from sdsu.

jonathan

jbartran@sciences.sdsu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Subject: Re: Let's Make the World a More Loving Place
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 01:00:54 GMT

In article <jjj2+mn@rpi.edu> petitc@nuge113.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:
>  I mean, what's wrong with friendly hugs, and affectionate touching (not
>romantic, just between friends and so on).  We all like to be touched, since
>it is an expression of deepest fondness and affection.  

No, we *don't* all like to be touched. Like others who have posted, I hate
being touched my strangers....just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.
Touchy feely people drive me bonkers...in fact, the surest way to turn me
off immediately is to hug me when we've first met. I don't know you well 
enough to do that!

To make the world a more loving place, I think we could make greater strides
by treating all people with respect and dignity.
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
Xref: sparky alt.romance:15357 soc.singles:34114 alt.romance.chat:22001
From: dch@rodan.UU.NET (Dan C. Horner)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: More, Do Not try this at home .....
Date: 16 Dec 1992 19:35:23 -0500
Organization: UUNET Technologies Inc, Falls Church, VA
NNTP-Posting-Host: rodan.uu.net

>dch@rodan.UU.NET (Dan C. Horner) flings down his gauntlet
>of skepticism:

Of course I do... Do you know how hot those things get ???

	>] Nonsense... AndyR is a simulacrum being digitized and fed into an AI
	>] response generator... He does not and cannot truly exist within this
	>] space time continuum...

>Well!!  I have been told that I have a pretty wild imagination,
>but this goes far beyond the bounds of female fantasy.  If AndyR
>is truly only a simulacrum or a voice module, as some of you
>choose to believe, then the men in the white coats should
>come and take me away since I am suffering from the grandaddy
>of all delusions.  However, I have been judged sane (if not
>"normal") by Highly Paid Professionals and by my peers (if that
>means anything) and I will personally vouch for the existence
>of AndyR in all his physical reality in this space time
>continuum.

And how can we vouch for yours, Oh blondness of kittikens ?

How do I know that you were not a clever android slave of the
insidious AndyR, who is (accordingly below) giving us his type
WITH his name ?

Artificial Non-human Ducky (Yellow) Replicant

Really... Just check his bathroom... What do you find ?
Small yellow Proto-Andys...

Very scary...

>I have not and will NEVER sleep with an AI construct!!!

You don't know what you are missing... "What if I came home one day
and found you screwing the toaster ?" "You'll just have to trust me"

>] Oh, this is SOOOOOOO disgusting... What were you doing in drieux' doors
>] while I was in drieux' doors ? 
>
>And wrapped in plastic, no less.

Hey, rip and I practice safe door sex...

>] Diana, Can't you get better scheduling  so these types of things
>] don't happen anymore ?
>
>I guess it's one of the risks you take when you do those 
>HeManlyMaleBondingThings, eh Blade?

You may call me AryanStudMuffin, Blondie...

Nice hearin from you though... Even if you are a droid
and sleeping with an AI...

>      HellQat
>((((
> \\\\ )
>  ----				


Ever have a day when you food processor turns on you viciously ?

You should try MY life...

Ever the irrepressible,
		Blade
From: pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Do Women Really Want A Guy That Makes Them Laugh?
Keywords: Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk!  Woo-woo-woo-woo!  Hey Moe! Hey Larry!
Date: 14 Dec 92 21:23:18 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In article <stone.724361679@cwis> stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes:
>
>
>Ladies of A.R. :
>
>I have heard---time and again---that one of the big things a
>woman looks for in a guy is "a sense of humor".  Well, pardon
>me for saying this, but that's a wee bit vague.  Just what do
>women *mean* when they say they like a guy with a sense of humor?
>
>I have heard variants of this answer, things like "I like a guy
>who can make me laugh."  There *must* be a hell of alot more to
>it than this, ladies---as many gals as I've gotten giggling, I
>should be dripping with women.  Now, be honest---grins 'n giggles
>*aren't* the only things you look for in a man, so tell me:
>What else are you looking for?  
>
>---- T.R. Stone
>     Average-Looking, Kinda Funny, Completely Perplexed By Women
> 


Well, regarding the humor thing:  I want a guy I can laugh WITH.
i.e., we find the same things funny, and are comfortable losing all
controll and laughing together until we can't stand up.  I don't
really want a guy to "make me laugh."  If I wanted to be entertained,
I'd go to a nightclub.  It gets a little tedious sitting there while a
guy is putting on his comic act for you.  

Other than that, I want someone who's sensitive, caring, kind, not
afraid to share his feelings, who has common interests, and who's fun
to be with (goes back to laughing at the same things, but also
includes not being afraid to lose 20 years off his age when it starts
to snow.)  Looks aren't terribly important, but it helps if his kisses
can make me melt. 

(Note:  this is not a request, I've already found someone who acts 2
when it snows.  I'm just answering the question.)

Most of all, I want a guy to be himself.  It's no good if he tries to
act like what he thinks I want, 'cause sooner or later, I'll have to
find out what he really is, and what a waste of time if it's not who
he pretended to be.

Good Luck!

ajp









  
Newsgroups: alt.romance