HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis)
Subject: Flaming Idjut (was: Mother Lifts Car Off Child. Uh huh.
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 18:15:00 GMT
Organization: Austerlitz, Gershovitz, and Carmichael

Richard Joltes writes:
>bill nelson writes:
>
>>Jeremy Mathers writes:
>>: 
>>: I thought cars only burst into flames on TV.  Isn't it just a UL?
>>
>>No - it actually does happen once in a while.  It is not a common
>>occurance.
>
>Yes.  Several years ago the "Nice Old Lady Across the Street" from my former
>residence locked her keys in her idling Ford, then called the fire department
>to come and SlimJim it open.  The nice firefighters did so, and just as they
>opened the door there was a loud "FWOOOOSHHHH" and the entire car went up in
>flames due to a fuel leak near the manifold.  Sloppy luck, if you ask me...

My Beloved made the evening news around here with her famous flaming truck
trick. This was during the era when her brilliant husband (me) was under the
impression that LOW oil pressure was good. So I didn't pay attention
to the obvious oil leak and was greatly surprised when she called
from a garage to get me to watch the evening news because our truck fire 
on the freeway might make excellent footage. It did make it and it was 
flamboyant. Gasoline burns.  And seat cushions burn. And, best of all, 
tires burn. Amazingly enough, the junk yard gave us money for the remains.
-- 
Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu> One never knows, do one?
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:33140 alt.config:8367
From: twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.config
Subject: Re: Amusing Street Name Consequnces
Date: 11 Jan 1993 01:51:33 GMT
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department
Reply-To: TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.12.117

Nigel's pet human, Joel writes:

  +There's already alt.food.mcdonalds, Terry,  Discuss hamburgerology there.

Hamburgerology?  What's that?  Forecasting one's future by counting 
the number of sesame seeds on a bun?
  
  +Joel "Arrrrrrrrgh" Furr

Joel, I think you've exceeded your allotment of r's for the week.


Terry "It really belongs in alt.religion.kibology" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division   | Internet:  TWChan@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory      | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720  | Yeah, right.
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Late breaking potential UL!
Date: 5 Jan 1993 02:49:28 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 10295@samba.oit.unc.edu, Bruce.Tindall@launchpad.unc.edu (Bruce Tindall) writes:
> Bruce "If German gloves are Handschuhen, what are Hand Sachs?" Tindall

Do Germans even use gloves?  I've heard them say, "got mittens", but
never anything about gloves.

Brian "'Our feet are stained' -- that's from stomping the wine, I guess" Scearce
---
Brian Scearce                                           bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
              The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
                  "You can't fit the truth on a t-shirt, man."
                                 "That'd fit."

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dsegard@nyx.cs.du.edu (Daniel Segard)
Subject: Re: The Ultimate Circumcision
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: alt.folklore.urban
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 93 15:56:21 GMT


      I recall reading the story in TIME back in the mid-70's.  If I
recall correctly there was some sort of voltage surge in the cauterization
equipment the doctor was using and quite a bit of "flesh" was burned in
the process.  The poor boy also had an identical twin brother who survived
the circumcision in better condition.

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: hulsey@dbsun.uucp (hulsey)
Subject: Re: Upside-down burglar
Reply-To: hulsey%dbsun.uucp@wupost.wustl.edu
Organization: BioMerieux-Vitek, St. Louis Mo.
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 22:05:58 GMT

In article <CINDY.93Jan9171446@solan10.solan.unit.no>
   cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:
>Ted Frank writes:
>>Indeed, the E-sharp over middle-C string is a crucial component for
>>exercising the infamous and shadowy New York Method.
>
>Since smileys are banned in this newsgroup, i can't tell if Ted is
>joking or if he is simply not conversant in music.  If it's the first,
>consider this a tip-off for the naive; if it's the second, a friendly
>correction.
>
>There is no such note as E-sharp.  One half-step above E is F.
>Sometimes you will see an E-sharp written on a piece of music, but
>it's to be played as an F.  There is no key called E-sharp on a piano.
>
>Thank you.

Actually, there is a key called E#, it just happens to be the same as the
F key.  I've seen music with a key signature of 6 sharps.  The sixth sharp
is E#.  (The sixth sick sharps sixth sharp's sick.)  You can also have
double sharps and flats.  For example, the chord G-flat major is Gb-Bb-Db.
G-flat minor is usually notated as Gb-Bbb-Db rather than Gb-A-Db to preserve
the idea that the minor chord's third is a half-step lower than the major's.

BTW, who's posting as Ms. Kandolf now that she has passed on?

ObUL:  A well-to-do man goes and plays golf.  He has a very bad day and
at the end of the round he is so frustrated that he takes his expensive
golf bag and clubs, throws them into the lake on the last hole, and storms
off the course.  A few minutes later he returns, wades out into the lake,
and picks up his bag, looking like he has had a change of heart and is
retrieving his clubs.  Instead, he open up the side pouch, removes his Rolex,
puts the Rolex on, throws the clubs back into the lake, and leaves.

I have also heard a version where the guy retrieves his car keys instead of
his Rolex.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
hulsey%dbsun.uucp@wupost.wustl.edu (Jim Hulsey)   TBDBITL '84 ('85 Rose Bowl)
An Ohioan living in Misery (Missouri, same difference)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc,talk.bizarre
From: cep@taligent.com (Christophe Pettus)
Subject: Re: Sex, the Final Frontier?
Organization: Taligent, a little subsidiary of two really big companies.
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 23:08:59 GMT

In article <1993Jan3.224458.24667@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:
>torsten@cwis.unomaha.edu (Torsten Wesley Adair) writes:
>
>>The holographic brothel, I believe, has been cut from the series.  It was to
>>have been run by the Ferengi.
>
>Bullshit.  Of course they'll have it.  We'll find out tomorrow.

Well, tomorrow is yesterday, and they did have the Ferengi-run bar, but
didn't make any mention of a brothel.  Sigh.  They did show the
underside of female breasts, though.
--
-- Christophe

"Bad analogy!  No biscuit!"
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Mother Lifts Car Off Child. Uh huh.
From: system@codewks.nacjack.gen.nz (Wayne McDougall)
Date: Tue, 05 Jan 93 11:06:34 NZST
Organization: The Code Works Limited, PO Box 10 155, Auckland, New Zealand

twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan) writes:

> Terry "I've said it a million times, never exaggerate" Chan

I can say "I've said it a million times, never exaggerate" in a confortable
four seconds at ordinary talking speed. To say that phrase a million times
consecutive would take 7 weeks 4 days 7 hours 6 minutes 40 seconds.

If (as my mother claims) you say it at least ten times a day, it would
take 274 years to say it a million times.

And of course, it takes longer to say

"I've said it nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-
nine times, never exaggerate".

Unfortunately, when I explained this to my mother, she decided I was being
cheeky. I got my billionth spanking.


Wayne "of course in 1650 years time you'll have more time per day to say it" 
McDougall

-- 
  Wayne McDougall, BCNU
  This .sig unintentionally left blank.

Hello! I'm a .SIG Virus. Copy me and spread the fun.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dsegard@nyx.cs.du.edu (Daniel Segard)
Subject: Re: Why care what percentage?  (was: Gay Likelihood)
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
 <1993Jan6.185944.15328@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 93 22:44:54 GMT




In article <1993Jan6.185944.15328@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> wvhorn@magnu
.acs.ohio-state.edu (William VanHorne) writes:
>>       I guess I haven't been paying attention to the public service
>>broadcasts....   Please explain how those of us who don't fool around w
th
>>anyone and don't do drugs, etc are going to contract AIDS?  Or has ther
>>been a news release that I missed announcing that AIDS is carried by
>>misquito bits or something?
>>
>No, AIDS is only carried by the naughty bits.
>
>Sorry.
 
      Ah, so the claim that everyone was in danger from AIDS was not true
then?  I thought that sounded like it might have been an urban legend....

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Re: AFU person of the year?
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Where are they when we need them?
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 17:07:55 GMT


In article <ab1w026d30aD01@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com>, tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll) writes:
|>Sounds like bullshit to me.

Precisely. What else do you expect in this group?
--
.sig on vacation

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: smaxwell@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Sara Maxwell)
Subject: Re: It's a crying shame
Originator: news@nimaster
Organization: Princeton University
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 14:03:10 GMT

>twod@socrates.demon.co.uk (Ian A Parkin) writes:
>
>>  The baby was born in the toilet on the train,
>> literally 'in the toilet' and was flushed through to the track below. 
>> The train was halted and the baby was found fortunately alive.
>> 

A friend of mine was born in the toilet, but his mother was very very
sick at the time and he was premature.  Not very funny, but it did
happen.

Sara
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: E sharp
Date: 12 Jan 1993 21:46:50 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 89C@rahul.net, phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson) writes:
> Tempered tuning, to put it simply, makes music written in any key sound
> almost in tune by making music in all keys a little out of tune.  For
> example, the base note these days is A4=440 Hz.  A perfect fifth above
> this would set E5=660 Hz; tempered tuning flattens that to 659.26.

And lest anyone think from this that there are just arbitrary
fluctuations in the frequencies of piano keys, there is a method to
this madness.

An octave is a doubling in frequency.  All a tempered tuning does is
split up the keys so that the frequencies go up by a constant factor
through all they notes in the range.  On a piano, twelve keys make an
octave:

   1  3     6  8 10
|  #  #  |  #  #  #  |  |
|  #  #  |  #  #  #  |  |
|  #  #  |  #  #  #  |  |
|  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+
 0  2  4  5  7  9  11 12

The frequency increases by a factor of 2^(1/12) for each key, so that
when you go from 0 to 12, you get a doubling.  The fifth is key number
7, so the frequency will have increased by a factor 2^(7/12), or
1.4983, rather than the 1.5 you might expect.

Brian "Sounds okay to me" Scearce
---
Brian Scearce                                           bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
              The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
                  "You can't fit the truth on a t-shirt, man."
                                 "That'd fit."

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: bml@netcom.com (Brian Leibowitz)
Subject: Re: Jesus' name (was Re: Late breaking potential UL!)
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 08:14:12 GMT

From _A Manual of Style_ Chicago press (one of the most widely accepted
standards for editing.)

POSSESSIVES
6.7 The possessive case of singular nouns is formed by the addition of an
apostrophe and an s, and the possessive of plural nouns (except for a few
irregular plurals) by the addition of an apostrophe only.... There is only
one notable exception to the rule for common nouns, a case wherein tradition
and euphony dictate the use of the apostrophe only:
    for appearance' (conscience' , righteousness', etc.) sake

6.8  Proper Nouns.  The general rule covers proper nouns as well as common,
including most names of any length ending in sibilants:
  Burns's poems
  Marx's theories
  ...
  Fraser and Squair's French Grammer
  James Hargreaves's invention
  Dickens's novels
  _plural_ the Rosses' and teh Williamses' lands

Exceptions are the names Jesus and Moses and Greek (or hellenized) names
of more than one syllable ending in es:
  Jesus' nativity         Demosthenes' orations
  Moses' leadership       Ramses' tomb
  Euripides' plays        Xerxes' army

Even when a proper name is in italic type, its possessive ending is in roman:
...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Brain
From: twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: But Leave William Holden Alone (Re: AFU person of the year
Date: 8 Jan 1993 19:30:31 GMT
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department
Reply-To: TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.12.117

the Great Trelford Pinkerton - AFU Man of the Year writes:

  +>ObUL2: Lucy Arnez dyed her hair red.  She was a natural brunette.

fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis) writes:

  +Lucille Ball dyed her hair. She had a special henna that was available
  +only from Egypt. Apparently she had a secret source because for 
                                                ^^^^^^
Shouldn't this be "sauce"?

  +awhile, like Cuban cigars, the henna was unavailable on the open market,
  +and yet she had a supply that could have turned Lake Ontario the
  +color of borsht. 
  +
  +See you at the Mortons.

Monday night at Mortons.
--
Energy and Environment Division   | Internet:  TWChan@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory      | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720  | Yeah, right.
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Who Kresge was (Was: Re: Architecture (Was: Architect Suicides))
Date: 10 Jan 93 20:51:28 GMT
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago

In article <wfI7XsG00Uh_A2B2RY@andrew.cmu.edu> "Stephen M. Lacy" <sl31+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>Article      KRESGE Foundation
>
>             The KRESGE Foundation, in Troy, Mich., was established in 1924
>             by Sebastian S. KRESGE as a general-purpose charitable
>             foundation. Its chief activities have been providing grants for
>             major capital equipment, construction, and renovation to
>             educational, medical, and artistic institutions. In 1984 it had
>             assets of $814,000,000.
>
>(taken without permission)

How could the Foundation take $814 million without permission?  That's a
*lot* of pennies to be using the salami method on.
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
never shout movie in a crowded firestation
From: twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Architect Suicides
Date: 11 Jan 1993 10:39:34 GMT
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department
Reply-To: TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.12.117

john@newave.newave.mn.org (John A. Weeks III) writes:
  +
  +The version I heard was at the University of Wisconsin in Madison.

   [classic architect kills self after bldg built backwards UL deleted.]
  +
  +This same architect also designed the Sentury Insurance building in Stevens
  +Point, Wisconsin.  The building was built in a swamp and is said to be slowly
  +sinking into the ground.

Wow!  This guy was a two-fer.  They don't get much better than
this!

Terry "Was it due to the weight of the books too?" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division   | Internet:  TWChan@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory      | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720  | Yeah, right.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com (Craig Becker)
Subject: Re: Doggone (was: Ring in the New Year with Some FAQs
Originator: jlpicard@woofer.austin.ibm.com
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 16:26:48 GMT
Reply-To: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com
Organization: IBM Object Technology Products


obrien@netcom.com (No parking EXCEPT FOR BOB) writes:
....
> ObUL: also in WW2, the US investigated training pigeons to steer anti-aircraft
> missiles with a four section window and four buttons to peck at.  Just
> put a training target in the window and feed 'em when they peck the
> correct button.
> 
> 	Bob "and B.F. Skinner *personally* trained the pigeons" O'Bob

To the best of my knowledge, this is true (even the part about Skinner
training the pigeons). Supposedly, the project was scrapped when it was
found that the pigeons had difficulty coping with the G-force of the
missile firing.

Craig
-- 
-- "You will have the tallest,    Craig Becker, Object Technology Products --
--  darkest leading man in               Internet: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com --
--  Hollywood."                     IBM TR: jlpicard@woofer.austin.ibm.com --
--   - Merian C. Cooper to Fay Wray               VNET: JLPICARD at AUSVM1 --
From: linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: My mother the gorilla
Date: 9 Jan 1993 23:03:42 GMT
Organization: The Bishop Sandwich Band
NNTP-Posting-Host: positive


From: pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Montykins)
> obUL: Chimpanzees are 98% identical to humans. Could be true, I

According to "1001 Things Everyone Should Know About Science"
by Prof J. Trefil, publ Doubleday, ISBN 0-385-24795-8,

A person shares with another person 99.8% of their DNA
                with a chimpanzee   98.4%
                with a gorilla      98.3%

That's a good science book, that I recommend by the way.

ObUL: You have to have a funny (or curt) name to be Sec-general of the UN.

Peter
--
I have to live in SF all year round; can somebody tell *me* what to do?
From: ltf@ncmicro.lonestar.org (Lance Franklin)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Druggie, gang-member teens suck pacifiers
Date: 11 Jan 93 21:16:17 GMT
Organization: NC Microproducts, Inc.

starfish@stein.u.washington.edu (Sarah Skovronsky) writes:
}Now, I KNOW this must be true, because my mom mailed me the newspaper article:
}
}KIDS SINK THEIR TEETH INTO A NEW FASHION TREND--COLORFUL PACIFIERS
}by Jeff Donn
}The Associated Press
}
}   SPRINGFIELD, Mass.--Yesterday's rebel without a cause wore a leather jacket
}and white T-shirt, James Dean-style.  Today's sucks a pacifier.

Interestingly enough, the article goes on to completely ignore what is
probably a big factor in the popularity...a certain character in a
quite popular cartoon series on Fox, who's almost never without one of the
little suckers.

Jeeze, and the article originates from Springfield, too.  Coincidence?
I think not!



Lance "Thin Knot" Franklin


-- 
Lance T. Franklin            +----------------------------------------------+
(ltf@ncmicro.lonestar.org)   | "You want I should bop you with this here    |
NC Microproducts, Inc.       |    Lollipop?!?"                 The Fat Fury |
Richardson, Texas            +----------------------------------------------+
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Late breaking potential UL!
Date: 5 Jan 1993 02:45:41 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 4dx802lO30Rq01@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com, tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll) writes:
> Kinda hard to give an executive order a month before you become executive.  

He managed to become Time's Man of the Year in the year before he
assumed office -- the guy's obviously got the jump us somehow, Terry.

Brian "John Connor School of Fame" Scearce
---
Brian Scearce                                           bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
              The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
                  "You can't fit the truth on a t-shirt, man."
                                 "That'd fit."

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis)
Subject: Amusing Street Name Consequnces
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 19:45:07 GMT
Organization: Austerlitz, Gershovitz, and Carmichael

In actually very nice Columbus, Ohio -- current home of the longest
running crush in the Mid West -- two crossing downtown streets bear 
the names Broad St. and High St. The building at their junction is 
aptly named the Broad High Building.
-- 
Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu> 
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.college
From: alrobins@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Amanda Robinson)
Subject: Re: Architecture (Was: Architect Suicides)
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester MI.
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 16:12:38 GMT

>are there any other Kresge auditoria out there?

Hmmm, no Kresge auditorium here at Oakland.  Will you settle for a Kresge
library?? We have one of those...

Amanda Robinson
Oakland University
Rochester, MI


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: cmwolf@mtu.edu (christopher m. wolf)
Subject: Re: Man pays for college with pinball
Organization: Michigan Technological University
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 04:40:36 GMT

>In article <1993Jan11.032506.28776@Princeton.EDU> datepper@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (David Aaron Tepper) writes:
>>It's worse than that. You know those "for entertainment purposes only"
>>blurbs on the cabinets of pinball machines? What that means is, if
>>you've been playing for hours and get 10 credits, and the place of
>>business then closes, the operator doesn't have to (or can't--I'm
>>a tad fuzzy on the proper modal here) pay you for the credits you've
>>earned.                                 

As a note, there once were games that paid off in quarters instead of
free credits.
From: andor@inode.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: CD LEGENDS
Date: 12 Jan 93 08:32:08 EST
Reply-To: andor@inode.com
Distribution: world
Organization: inode BBS, Usenet Access for NYC (212-679-9146)

 -=> Quoting Alewis@gibbs.oit.unc.edu to News <=-
 
 Al> the bone), there is the example of the old Dead standard, Dark Star. 
 Al> First appearance, two minutes and spare change (on the first album, I
 Al> think).  Later version, twenty minutes plus (the European tour album?).
 Al> No change in the words (four lines), just sort of musical whacking off

 Yes, but ALL of Grateful Dead tunes sound alike, at least in concert:

 20       minutes of tuning up.
 5        minutes of song
 20       minutes of jam

 repeat for 2 hours.


 ... Reality-ometer:  [\........]  Hmmph!  Thought so...
       
--- Blue Wave/QWK v2.10
#! rnews 6