From: 2frjflog@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu
Newsgroups: rec.games.video.arcade
Subject: SF2: THE QUEST TO SAVE CHUN-LI
Date: 13 Apr 92 01:47:01 CDT
Organization: University of Kansas Academic Computing Services



Can anyone explain this strange experience:

     I was playing the computer and it was Chun Li.  She was kicking my but. 
She then proceeded to daze me.  I was on my last 50 cents and I made a slight 
verbal prayer, asking Chun Li to spare me.  Just then SF2:TCE began to talk to
me in a seductive coarse female voice.  It was nothing like Chun's usual high 
freaky junior high voice. Then Chun Li said to me, "I have seen you playing 
here for several weeks.  I have seen you master other humans, as well as the 
brain of this machine which is my master.  Then the computer started to glow. 
     Out stepped Chun, she was weeping.  She said "Evil Capcom administrators 
have captured my soul and thrust me into this vile appliance.  For years now, 
I have been forced to watch snotty little boys, who pick their nose, and do 
whatever other nasty things with their hands jerk me around this computer 
like a puppet.  They have laughed when the other characters looked up my skirt.
Well, DAMN IT, I am sick of this.  It is not me, nor is it my fault.  I am a 
beautiful girl, a queen in my own country.  Now in this pathetic existence, I
am forced to yell "me..me..ya kick" an show my spandex underwear to all the 
horny boys in the world.  I  hate this existence.  I hate touching all those 
sweaty men, I hate being smacked and thrown, and flamed, and kicked, and dazed,
and teased, and electrocuted.  Each time I think I have finally died, and may 
rest in peace, some creep sticks in another quarter and I am resurrected again,
yet only to fight. Fight, him, throw him, kick him. Ohhh.....my thighs are so
tired.  I don't know how much longer I can live with this.  I hate it.  I never
liked fighting, SEX was my thing.  That is why I am so strong.  I can handle 
the best man in the world in the bed.  But the evil designers fell in love 
with my thighs and my heaving boobs and snatched my soul.  My body is buried
is Peking in a basement of one of the evil designers.  Oh I hate this life, I
am aching for a real man.  For that FEELING again.  When I can laugh and really
mean it.  Don't mistake me, I am as kinky as they come.  I like wips and 
thongs, and spikes, and to be blindfolded"...

	At this point this hot babe started foaming at the mouth. She bent down
on to one muscular knee, and began tugging at my pants.  I was shocked.  I said 	"Chun...Chun...there are better men than me, men that are better 
	  fighters, stronger men."

     Chun gave a low heavy moan, and said "I don't want a fighter, I want
a lover.  Treat me like a bad girl.  Spank me."

    I didn't know what to do...luckily (I am the owner of my local arcade) 
it was after closing so I looked over my shoulder......and loosened my belt.  
I couldn't believe it. I examined her muscled jaw and curvacious toungue.  
I wasn't ready for this awesome experience.  I hadn't ever made it with a 
babe as fine as this asian miracle, nor had I ever gotten it for as little as 
50 cents.  Don't get me wrong, I wasn't afraid of this hunk of a woman who I 
had seen defeat the best Russian man, or the best wrestler, or the best boxer,
or a fucked up green half toad half 'stick your finger in a light socket' 
monster.  I had seen her stand on heads, power punch, flip, spin duck, block. 
Oh MY...... suddenly I realized that I was getting extrememly exited. I looked
down to verify....VERIFIED!  "Oh CHUNCHUN" I moaned.  She eyed me from my head
to my.......????....toes (and liked what she saw.  She ambled towards me, with
heaving breasts and hint of spandex.  I drooled, and quick as a shouryuken, 
caught the spittle amongst moist, puckered lips, and heartily held it in her
mouth.  Then quick as a blanka bite, she was on top of me, clutching my shirt
and orally delivering the property to its rightfull owner.  I tore of my shirt
with an Arrrr.... and ripped off her blue dress.  She screamed and clapped her
hands together, and then began to cry (I guess it was because of a SF2 flash-
back).  Anyway she then gave me a livacious look and tore into my loins.  
The amount of energy generated would have put Blanka to shame. She carressed 
and fondled me for what seemed like eternity.  I ripped of her chain bra 
exposing surprisingly tender breasts.  Moist...heaving....with a light coar of
anticipatory sweat on them.  They were puckered up to the sun, as if in plea
to be releases.  They were real friendly breasts...the kind that liked to get 
a tan, be talked to.....to be held (sorry for that)..to swim in the ocean....
...etc.  I gave her a moan back, and put those suckers in a vice.  She screamed
in response and began to kick the holy shit out of me.  First she threw me
8 miles across the room, and through the bathroom door. (note that I said 
throught the door....there was no doorknob action whatsoever).  I began to cry.
My back was surely broken.  I shouted  "I am sorry.  If you like doggy style...
I am even better at that".  Chun Li hopped through the air and landed a 
smashing fist through my teeth (they all came out...every damn one of them.)
     The poor beauty began to weep....then she began to shimmer.  This was 
followed by a cackle of glee from the game.  I abruptly hobbled over to the
console.  There they were....the infamous faces of the programmers.  All
smiling their evil smile.  They were beckoning to Chun Li.  She was torn
betwen my body and their evil devices.  She leaned towards me (I got a whiff 
of her apple shampoo), then leaned towards the console.  I exclaimed "Oh
baby, please stay, you have to finish the JOB..."

"I can't, I can't", her voice becoming higher.  "Me-Me ya kick....no no no I 
mean I can't stay."

She quickly licked my face, spending an unproportional amount of time up my
left nostril.  With an oral tug at my ear, and a FIRM press of genitials, she 
was sucked back into the game.  I was left french kissing the screen.  The JOY stick was sticky. I felt exhausted.  There she was being led back to her cage 
by the EVIL PROGRAMMERS FACES.  She gave me one last woeful stare and whispered

     "To rescue me you must beat every character in SF2, with a perfect.  
Playing me of course.  I will help you.  When you get to the final character, Bison you must last 456 rounds on him with time running out every round...on the
last 457th round you must press your penis aaginst the jostick and do my 
spinning bird kick.  Then with your genitials still against the JOY stick begin
to rapidly go up and down.  Speed must be increasing at a rate of 
	f[speed] = up/down intervals/.3 * speed
When you land go into a fireball, and I will throw my bracelet.  It will 
shatter the console and out will come my captor: Shen Long...and oooooooeeeee,
is he ever long.  If you defeat his anal noogie, and garlic wind breath, then
click the bracelet against your penis (click should be the proper sound, if 
you are ready for me) Do this four times, and exclaim theres no dame like Chun
Chun, theres no dame like ChunChun. I will be there honey.  And we will put
9 1/2 weeks to shame."
 

Well that is my story.  It was great sex, but my wife knows something is 
wrong, ever since I make her wear studded bras and spandex panties.  Please, 
if any of you masters think that you can last 456 rounds against Bison, and 
then masturbate in public and handle Anal noogies please contact me.  I have
to save that dame, and have her do another me-me-ya-fuck to my face. Please I
am desperate.  Please contact me.

-"chun-liless CHRIS LYMAN".....2frjflog@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu"


'Oh where have you gone my beauty"....I shall weep forever more....