HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Too Many NO's at Daycare
Date: 30 Sep 1992 02:44:27 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc12.ins.cwru.edu


     Okay, first of all, working on being more positive:  Suggest to her
that the reason her son doesn't listen to her is because he: 1. Doesn't
get any encouragement in the good things, and hence feels the need
to do bad things to get the attention; and, more importantly, 2. Wants
to do some things, but is never told what things he *can* do, and is
thus frustrated.  For instance, tell her she should say: "Please don't
climb on the furniture; you can climb outside on something or climb on
'x'."  Remind her also that it's important to have limits, but that the
children who behave best at school and as adults are the ones who
are given freedom to make noise, be rowdy, etc., within less strict
limits at home. (They can blow off steam, we all do things at home
we would never do when out in public, etc.)  This could lead into
mentioning that perhaps saying "no banging" isn't such a good idea.
     (Note:  Another thing I wonder is whether the "no" is ever followed
by an explanation.  I assume it is, because you say she spanks her
3YO after trying to "reason" with him.  If it isn't, this is another
problem, and could also be leading to bad behavior.)
     However, it is okay to have home rules and daycare rules, for the
reason stated above - a child should be allowed to save their "worst"
behavior for at home - and because there will be different rules for
home than school.  All the child needs to know is that he/she can
make mistakes the first few years of life, because it's hard to keep
straight when what rules are in force. (Another reason you might
suggest she doesn't say "no banging" - your child isn't even 1 yet,
so he may not comprehend why he can bang on things one place and
not another.)
     I would also suggest that it may well be confusing for there to be 2
distinct methods of punishment for when he gets older. (i.e.: You use
timeouts and she would spank.)  It could be disturbing to her natural
kids if she did what you wished with your son but disciplined
differently with hers, so if there are differences you will want to
remember this, but it's not important right now. (And, if she does
treat her own kids differently, and she only gives one little swat
when spanking, it may not even matter as much to her natural kids.
Different kids treat things differently - all I know is that, even
though neither my parents nor my teachers ever hit me, it disturbed me
to see other kids get hit.)
-- 
Doug Fowler: dxf12@po.CWRU.edu      :    "Every baby born into the world is
Real home: Canton, Ohio             :  finer than the last."--Charles Dickens
 Trying to follow in the path of our :     "A baby is an inestimable
Lord;anything close will be a success:  blessing and bother."--Mark Twain
Newsgroups: misc.kids,misc.education,k12.chat.teacher,sci.med,chi.general
From: yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich)
Subject: Re: Attention Deficit Disorder Resources
Organization: MIT Lincoln Laboratory
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 13:55:34 GMT

In article <1992Oct6.004531.28782@henson.cc.wwu.edu> n9020351@henson.cc.wwu.edu (James Douglas Del-Vecchio) writes:
>yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich) writes:
>
>>>Tell me: what possible side-effects of Ritalin are you worried about?
>>>It wasn't even tried, I take it.
>
>>	Drug dependancy!!!!
>
>Yeah, right.  If the condition returns when you quit the drug,
>you are "dependant" on it.  Horrors.

	No.  You're dependant on it when, like our neighbors kid,
	the kid actually approaches an adult telling them it's
	time for a pill.  It's a habit of life.  "Pill time!"

	"MEDICATION TIME"

>...and diabetics shouldn't get started on insulin either, right?
>
>Sheesh.

	They will die without it!  Sheesh!
>
>JD "my grandpa curses the day he got himself hooked on insulin" Del Vecchio
>

	Stop comparing apples & oranges.


-- 
	Alan Yasutovich
	"inquiring  (and nosey) minds WANT TO KNOW!!!"
	I can remember when "safe sex" meant having a padded headboard!!
	Tick Tock.....Tick Tock......Tick Tock .....Tick Tock......
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: oday@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com (Vicki O'Day)
Subject: Midwives/Food during labor
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 20:45:20 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Laboratories Palo Alto,CA


Here's a counter-example to the throw-everything up school of labor stories.

The day my daughter Emma was born, I woke up early and thought I was
in labor - I had some back pains that were very regular.  I had a
midwife appointment that morning, so I just went to it as usual and
told the midwife that I thought I was having contractions.  She had
delivered two babies the night before and was feeling kind of tired
and grumpy, so she told me that if I only *thought* I was having
contractions, it was probably false labor.  I went home feeling kind
of dejected.  A few hours later I was hungry, so I decided to walk to
the store and get a real treat for lunch.  Of all the array of foods
available at Safeway, what appealed to me most was chocolate-covered
pretzels in the bulk foods section.  I bought lots.  By the time I was
walking home, I was aware that it wasn't false labor, but I was
determined to have my treat, so I postponed thinking about it.  When I
got home, I ate all the pretzels, then called my husband to come home
and keep me company.  While I practiced my relaxation techniques he
proceeded to try to catch up on all his labor reading, but that's
another story.  Anyway, I wasn't hungry for the rest of labor, but my
various support people (husband, midwives, doula) had me drink lots of
fruit juice until the pushing stage, and I never felt weak or
nauseous.

Vicki O'Day
oday@hpl.hp.com

Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: ksouth@iguana.dsd.es.com (Kerri South)
Subject: Re: How to get daughter more career-minded?
Reply-To: ksouth@dsd.es.com
Organization: Evans & Sutherland Computer Corp.
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 92 21:33:15 GMT

In article <4803@crl.LABS.TEK.COM>, sjk@strl.labs.tek.com (Steven King) writes:
> In article <1992Sep29.124932.20994@nynexst.com>, clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu) writes:
> 
> Sometimes I think that we confuse which areas we can impact and which we
> cannot - from a parental perspective.  I believe, from everything I've
> read/heard/seen that you can have the most impact with self-esteem and
> core values.  The rest is up to the children.  Career choices, role
> models, favorite fantasy characters and the like are, to a large degree,
> the choice of the children.
> 
> I also feel that we think we (or the outside world) have more of an
> impact than we actually do.  Children have a certain personality style
> from a very early age.  We can work within that style, but there are
> certain aspects of it that we (or the child) will never be able to
> change.  Sometimes our well-intentioned attempts for force (or withhold)
> certains good (or bad) traits/information/behaviors upon our children
> can have a greater _negative_ impact upon the child than any potential
> positive outcome.
> 
 
 WHAT GREAT OBSERVATIONS! I found Steven's comment about the few, core
areas in which parents can have real positive impact on their children
almost a revelation to me. I would pay $50000 (if I had it) to have had
my parents understand this concept from my birth on. My parents seemed to
have an inverted perspective. They had a list of about 1,000 "core" values
that they tried to push on me while growing up. I couldn't see what the
real core values underneath all of them were. Maybe the core values were
that obedience was more important than learning to make choices and that
humans are meant to work hard and not enjoy it and if they don't suffer
sufficiently, they must not value themselves. Seriously lacking in the
1,000 values pushed down my throat was self-esteem.

Enough bitterness though, my parents did the best they could. I now
save S. King's insight in a file and beware lest I forget when raising
my own children.



> 
> Steven (sjk@strl.labs.tek.com)
> 
> "Sometimes if you have a cappuccino and then try again it will work OK."
> (Dr. Brian Reid)  "Sometimes one cappuccino isn't enough." (Marcus Ranum)
> "A double vanilla latte always works."  (Me)

-- 
Kerri South, Evans & Sutherland Computer Corporation
Design Systems Division, P.O. Box 8070, 
Salt Lake City, Utah 84108        (801) 582-5847 
INET: ksouth@dsd.es.com
Xref: sparky misc.kids:24598 alt.sex:31173
From: isc40041@nusunix1.nus.sg (LOO KOK HOE)
Newsgroups: misc.kids,alt.sex
Subject: Re: Female "Circumcision"
Date: 29 Sep 92 02:50:45 GMT
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]

David Wales (wales@ringss.enet.dec.com) wrote:
: 
: G'Day,
: 
: 	Recently in Australia a Malaysian prince fled back to Malaysia with
: two children that were staying with their mother in Australia, one a boy, the
: other a girl.  One of the mother's real concerns was that her daughter would
: be circumsised.  From the reports that I heard on the radio this was quite a
: possibility.

Good Day !

Well David ... u should know when Love ended, Hell come loose!
Let imagine u are in the lady's situation ...

u & ur husband is separating ... both of u want the children ...
so both of u go to court ... the judge's decision is based on
who is most suitable for the children ....

Now, that prince is rich, he can provide endless care, love,
shelter, food , future educational opportunity, ...

Well, u can see he has an upper hand ...
what about u ?   To convince the Judge, u have to come
out with reasons that might have the slight possibility
to be truth .... female circumsition ( right spelling? ),
what about slavery in some Muslim country , ....?


One more thing which I am not sure whether u people there
are awared of ... presently the Malaysian & Austrialian governments
are entering into a 'cold war' ... the reason is the former accuses
the news medias in Australia for giving a very negative picture
of the country & the Austrialian government is not doing very much
to rectify the problem ...  so the news u heard may be only a
biased version of the whole story .... so beware !

: 
: 	The fact that the majority is Muslim reinforces the issue as it is they
: who usually perform this ghastly operation.

Is there Muslim in ur country ?  Do they perform this "ghastly
operation" too ?   Maybe the Muslim there may care to comment ....

And by the way , do u know which Country in the world has the
most Muslim ???? 

George ( from Singapore )
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: choi@wk59.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi)
Subject: Re: good grades=good school=job??
Organization: NAS Program, NASA Ames Research Center, Moffett Field, CA
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 92 17:57:58 GMT

(Karen Prestemon) writes:
>
>I'm sorry, I don;t have the post at hand, but someone was talking about
>motivating his child to do his homework, so that he will ultimately
>make the connection netween good grades, a good university, and a good
>job.
>
>First of all, I think there are very few kids who make the connection
>between university and grades until, say Junior or Senior year, no
>matter how much you attempt to dispel the idea that they not are going
>to spend the rest of their lives at football pep rallies.

Really?   It is quite common in asian families for the kids to make this
connection quite early.  In fact, in some cases, the pressure (both internal 
and external) to get good grades can be quite intense, even at an early age.

(good grades = good school)?  
Not always... but it helps, since (bad grades = good school ) is rarely true.  
But (bad grades + $$$$$ = good school) works too ...but we don't fit into
that equation.

>Second, it seems really dangerous to lead anyone to believe that
>a college education at any school is going to = good job.  Have you
>looked at the economy lately?  What if things are just as bad when
>your kids have reached the work pool and find themselves, no matter
>what their grades, education, talents, etc. UNABLE TO GET A JOB
>RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE?  That is reality, and to attempt to underscore
>anything else is quite unrealistic, both for yourself, and for
>your kids.  <stuff deleted > 

Yes, things are bad but I did hear last week of a fresh-out from a "good 
school" getting offered 60K...so some people get jobs - its just extremely
competitive.  (good school = good job) ? Not always, but at places that 
I've worked, or know about, an applicant coming from a "good school" 
(Berkeley, MIT, Stanford...etc) does get considerably more attention and
is more likely to be hired.

>Finally, what if you have pushed your child all his life, and then
>he decides that he doesn't want to go to college?  Not everyone
>has to go.  A friend's younger brother has severe learning disabilities
>and decided that post-high scvhool education wasn't for him.  He
>is now training to be a mechanic, and is happy about it.  Both
>of his parents have doctorates, and beleive very strongly in\
>education, but also have the sense to recognize that it is not for
>everyone, and are in turn thrilled that he has found someething
>he likes to do.  Isn't that what ultimately counts? 

Absolutely.  I would raise my kids to try and get good grades simply because 
it increases their options.  Then they can CHOOSE what they want to do
rather than having to settle for something because its the only thing
that they're qualified for.

diana
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: escr@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (elizabeth)
Subject: Re: Do kids need to see this?
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 18:47:56 GMT

lynne@pacersoft.com (Lynne Chantler) writes:
>cd24+@andrew.cmu.edu writes:
>>Shedlock - said he purchased the time on behalf of
>>independent presidential candidate - Howard Phillips of Virginia.

>I would not only NOT vote for Mr. Phillips, I would actively campaign
>against him for using such tactics.  I would also organize a boycott of
>the TV station for NOT using discretion in airing anything as offensive
>as this during afterschool programming.  

Boycotting the tv station is unfair, by federal law they are REQUIRED
to show any political advertisement no matter what the content.  They really
have no control over showing it and I think this was mentioned in another 
part of the original post...
elizabeth ruby
From: campbellw@iccgcc.decnet.ab.com (Bill at Allen-Bradley in Cleveland)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Remote (Taxpayer) Wallets vs. the Ovarian Nurturer
Date: 28 Sep 92 16:35:13 EST
Distribution: na

In article <1992Sep28.184959.12765@ll.mit.edu>, yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich) writes:
> In article <1992Sep26.062058.6404@cbnewsc.cb.att.com> kapa@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (k.a.perkins) writes:
>>You know, we spend a lot on our daughter, and I don't see that
>>I get a lot back from most of it.  I don't get a lot out of watching
>> ( much deleted)
>>something out of, like clothes and food for ourselves?
>>
> 
> 	I think you've applied my analogy a bit too specifically.
> 	You know, "watching them eat".
> 
> 	Tick Tock.....Tick Tock......Tick Tock .....Tick Tock......
> (etc)

Hi,
	My name is Bill and I'm for the most part just a lurker on
this net. I've been following this thread since it started with
interest. I am NCP of two beautiful children ages 11 and 13. I pay
a grand a month in support. For the most part, I really don't have
trouble with the fact that I give up alot financially for my kids
(If they lived with me, I would be doing the same). The problem that
I have with the situation is that my children don't see me handing
out the money to my ex for them. The money that they get from their
mom "mostly" comes from me. I find some comfort in hoping that someday
they will realize how important they are to me and that I am very
interested in their well being. I get visitation every other weekend
and Tuesdays for dinner. I have tried on occasion to explain the
child support situation to them so that they would understand, but
there has been several times that my daughter has said "It's the law."

Ouch!

True, but....

oh well, good thread.

thanks for listening,

Bill
 
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: cma@cbnewsm.cb.att.com (christine.m.dakes)
Subject: Re: Why am I so big?
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 19:46:41 GMT
Summary: gluclose test

> 
> Sooooo.....Gestational diabetes doesn't just occur at 28 weeks -- it can
> occur later in the pregnancy.  I would look into it.  Then again, it just

Hmmmmmm...I am at 24 weeks and am having my gluclose test tomorrow!
I think this is the only time I get tested for it.......so does this
mean I could still develop GD later on?

Christine
mom-2-b in Jan. '93

Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: sasdvp@unx.sas.com (David V. Phillips)
Subject: Re: Names (don't do this to your kids)
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 13:56:15 GMT
Organization: SAS Institute Inc.

day_kevran@tandem.com (Kevran Day ) writes:


>My sister went to a urologist named Dr. Hurt.      - ouch!

>This could go on forever ;->

...and I'm not going to try to stop it! ;-)

My dentist is Dr. Grinder.....his partner is Dr. Ferri !

--
David Phillips         sasdvp@unx.sas.com
Cthulu for President - Why choose the lesser of two evils?
From: babcock@manticore.Eng.Sun.COM (Gigi Babcock, Mgr IBM Connectivity)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: TENS unit during labor
Date: 5 Oct 92 22:59:23 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: manticore

TENS = Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation. It is supposed
to control pain by 1) blocking pain messages from travelling to the
brain and 2) by stimulating the body's natural pain relieving
medicine "endorphins".

I'd love to hear from anyone that actually has used this during labor.
Did it help? Did you still have pain medication?

Thanks.

-- gigi

--
------------
Gigi Babcock babcock@Sun.COM 
Sun Microsystems, 2550 Garcia, Mailstop MTV14-204, Mt. View, CA 94043
Organization: Student Employment Office, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Date: Tue,  6 Oct 1992 13:19:34 -0400 
From: Judi Mancuso <jm5p+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Names (long) (don't do this to your kids)
	<BvoMoB.BB9@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca>



Reading all these poor name choices reminds me of three "name" stories:

During the early 70's our neighor's son married a girl in a "hippie"
ceremony in the park (I was pretty young at the time and do not remember
lots of details)--anyway, during the cermony, they took the names Star
and Sun (their given names were Gary and Marian) and wanted to be called
these names from then on. The family last name was McGoerk--they did not
change that. My father was so outraged by the entire thing--till this
day he talks about the fact that the bride and groom did not wear shoes
("and they were raised right next door to me")  Anyway, when their first
child was born, they named her Tracalila (after a flower, I think)--what
was so hilarious at the time was that Star's mother, Mary, (the new
grandmother) came over to our house to announce the arrival of the baby.
 My parents were in the living room and the neighbor was quite excited. 
Anyway, my father asked the baby's name and Mary said "Tracalila"--my
father looked sick and yelled "Dracula! I have had enough of these damn
hippies......."  He ranted and raved for about 10 minutes until my
mother stopped him and told him he did not hear correctly--and it was
"Traclila".  "That's still ridiculous" he scoffed.  Anyway, we always
thought of the baby as Dracula--poor thing.  Last year, Mary, the
neighbor, passed away and my sister and I went to the funeral home.  My
sister and I both nearly bust out laughing when we were reintroduced to
Tracalila (who goes by Lily now)--she will forever be "Dracula" in our
minds.  By the way, Lilly has 3 younger siblings--Darling (goes by
Dee-Dee now), Jonquil (goes by Jon), and Storm (goes by Storm).  Star
and Sun are once again Gary and Mimi. 

Secondly, a "name" story about another neighbor--Mary Lou Hawk.  She was
dating Thomas Burd for about 5 years--everyone thought the name Mary Lou
Hawk Burd would be interesting--but when she broke it of with Tom, it
was because she met Mark Tohey.  She became Mary Lou Hawk Tohey. 


Being Italian, our family is filled with the name Anthony. In fact, my
grandmother named her oldest son Anthony and her youngest son Anthony. 
Between my aunts marrying Anthonys, several people having son's,
grandsons and great grandsons named Anthony and other cousins marrying
Anthonys--we have quite an assortment.  Not to mention, my mother was
Antoinette (Toni) and my daughter is Antoinette (Toni).  And so, this
year--at our family reunion, we took an Anthony picture--believe it or
not, we had over 2 dozen Anthony's.  We have Little Anthony (6'3", 250
lbs), Big Ant (5'7", 150 lbs), Tony Boy (6'4", 260 lbs),
Little To, Big To, Barb's Tony, Linda's Tony, Tony P.,Baby Tony, Judi's
Toni....you get the picture.  BTW, my Toni (the only female, since my
mom is deceased) is by far the  STAR of the picture!

Whew, what long stories!  Judi 
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: HF.JXB@forsythe.stanford.edu (Judith Bodo)
Subject: Child care - Bay Area Only
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 23:35:33 GMT

Child care available for one child in my Mountain View home.
Location is close to 85 and 101 Frwy's, part-time or full time, some
weekend days OK, reasonable charges.
If interested, call
Judith, 723-0130
 or at home 964-4021
From: bb11807@thug (Brian A. Blow)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Kid Seats on Bikes
Date: 28 Sep 92 12:30:34 GMT
Organization: Medtronic, Inc.
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

heidia@med.unc.edu (Heidi Aycock) writes:
: 
: 4) Don't trailers put kids closer to dogs? I'm afraid of
: dogs, so this is a big concern for me. If an angry dog starts
: after us, won't he get to my son first? 

A good solution to this is to drag a steak behind the
trailer.  :-)

Seriously, I've never had a problem with dogs.  Sure, they
will chase you for a while, but dogs are just protecting their
turf.  As long as you keep riding, they will quit chasing.
It sometimes helps to either yell at the dog (remember, they
are afraid of you, that's why they're chasing you) or give
'em a good squirt with your water bottle.

You might look in the rec.bicycles.*** categories for more
info.

--Brian               brian.blow@medtronic.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids