From: blschwa@afterlife.ncsc.mil (Benjamin Schwalb)
Newsgroups: alt.personals
Subject: SWM, 30, seeks SWF, 24-31, in Baltimore/Washington/Annapolis area
Date: 26 Aug 92 13:30:25 GMT
Organization: The Great Beyond


     This is a relatively long message.  I'm going to tell you a good deal
about myself, so if anything displeases you, you can simply not respond and
avoid the unpleasant situation of finding it out after we've met.

     I haven't made much of an effort to date for several years because I'm so
independent and I love my freedom, but like any single person I do get lonely
now and then because when I'm with my friends it's only for brief periods of
time, and then we part ways.  There's no sense of constant togetherness.  It
seems that there's a genuine need for permanence that can be filled only by
someone very special.  It wasn't until this year that this need became great
enough for me to recognize it.  But while sometimes I think about how good it
would be to have someone special, the rest of the time, while I'm doing what I
want to do when I want to do it, I think how great it is to be free, with no
one to make compromises with or hold me back.  The two polarities are often in
conflict.

     I'm 5'10", 172 pounds, 30 years old, brown hair which I keep very short,
with excellent health and no chemical use except vitamins and occasional
social drinking.  My looks are good but not gorgeous, and my physique is very
good.  I'm a college graduate now working as a computer analyst for the Defense
Department at Fort Meade.  I'm a civilian, even though I work at an Army base.

     I have lots of energy and an insatiable appetite to stay active, take
risks and see the world.  I love to go hiking, camping, caving, rock climbing
and canoeing.  I've also gone rappelling, tubing and bungee jumping.  I play
soccer and football, and my main sport is wrestling - I've done it for 15
years, and I also coach at a local high school.  I used to kickbox until all
my sparring buddies got either stationed overseas or married.  Other interests
are comedy, classic rock, cooking and wine making.  If I don't keep up a
certain level of activity I go crazy.  I guess I'm full of nervous energy,
which comes from a sedentary job and a wealth of opportunities.

     There is a thoughtful side to me.  I tend to be very logical, reasonable
and analytical.  I have a desire to understand things, not just take them at
face value.  I've been keeping a journal for eight years which has over 1600
pages of my thoughts.  Most of it was written in 1990 and 1991 when I went 
into a very deep philosophical, psychological and spiritual quest.  I looked
inside myself, searched for God, studied philosophy and religion, reviewed my
life and how events have shaped me, tried to figure out exactly what a human
being is, and analyzed everything.  For a while I went so deep that nothing in
this world seemed important, as everything is so arbitrary and temporary.  I
was looking for absolute meaning and purpose, and not finding it gave me the
existential blues for about a year and a half.  Anyway, I'm past the deep
philosophizing stage.  I'm back to being a happy agnostic who just enjoys
things as they happen.  There is no ultimate end (Heaven or enlightenment)
to work toward; there is only the journey of being and doing.

     I don't like jewelry, ties, makeup, extravagant clothes, fancy cars, etc.
I've had this aversion to the "finer" things in life ever since I was a kid.
They just seem so false, pretentious, constrictive and unnecessary.  I'm into
DOING, not HAVING.  I'm also not very romantic.  To a logical person like me,
romanticism seems foolish.  A lot of people view love as an out-of-this-world
object that exists in and of itself, and they mimic the Hollywood portrayal of
it with excessive idolizing and grand expectations.  Many of them don't fall
in love with their partner - they fall in love with an image.  I think that
love, like all feelings, is not a thing, but a process that happens within us
as a result of our interactions, compatibility and "chemistry".

     The passion I feel for living and doing gets stronger as I get older.
Some inner drive urges me to do and explore, even if it means risking my life.
Quality of life is much more important than quantity.  I could never
be satisfied with the life of quiet desperation and dependence on others'
opinions for a temporary sense of well-being that so many people endure.  I
need to live, not survive.  I guess this is why I'm posting this ad - I'd like
to fill the lonely yearning and experience the wonderful feeling of intimacy
that I've heard so much about.  I have not yet met anyone with whom I want to
be intimate.

     Emotionally I'm quite stable.  When I have a problem, I never take it out
on anyone else.  If someone else bothers me, I either discuss it or let it
slide.  Only immature people yell, threaten or strike.  It's not that I'm
unfeeling.  Actually I'm quite sensitive, but I handle my emotions well.

     I'm looking for someone real; who feels good, but not conceited,
about herself; who can handle brutal honesty; who doesn't get easily upset and
doesn't take her problems out on others; who is physically fit, trim and
attractive; who doesn't smoke or abuse chemical substances; who is secure
enough to be alone frequently; who likes to be physically as well as mentally
active; and who has not imprisoned herself with society's inhibitions.  I know
I'm somewhat perfectionistic, but life's too short to spend time with people
of the wrong quality.  It's not often that I meet anyone I even want to be
friends with, let alone get intimately involved with, but I still
optimistically meet people and learn as I go along.  Compatible people exist;
it just takes time and effort to ferret them out.  

     So if you live in the Balt/DC/Annapolis area, you're around my age and
you think we might like each other, I'd like to hear from you.  And if we
don't hit it off, nothing lost.
-- 

                               "What's it all for if you're not happy?"
                                     blschwa@afterlife.ncsc.mil