From: mattm@apple.com (Matthew Melmon)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Colorado Letter
Date: 5 Nov 92 20:37:23 GMT
Followup-To: soc.motss
Organization: Apple Computer, Inc.

In article <1992Nov5.185336.15750@asuvax.eas.asu.edu>,
kennedy@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Ralph Kennedy) wrote:
> 
> anderson@macc.wisc.edu (Jess Anderson) writes:
> > However, the passage this past Tuesday of Measure 2 means
> > that I could not in good conscience consider visiting
> > Colorado again until such time as the citizens and
> > government of the state firmly and lastingly reject
> 
>      Oh for heavens sake, Jess, for once be assertive:
> change your "could not" to "cannot," please!   :-)

No, no, no.  'Cannot' is still to weak.  And too many words
(none too surprising).  For once in your ecrivantical career,
Jezeboo, just get to the *point*:

  I will _not_ visit Colorado again, until the naked bigotry
  of Amendment 2 has been rejected.

For that matter - on to the whole letter!  Finally!  I can do
an "Anatomy of a Jesobyte!"

[original]

  For many years I have enjoyed the extraordinary natural
  assets of Colorado as a special enticement to visit your
  state.The mountains, the forests, the great wilderness
  areas, the wonderful skiing and camping facilities and all
  the other outdoor marvels Colorado offers are unique
  treasures, properly the envy of people from all over the
  country and indeed the world.  In the course of the past
  quarter-century, each of my many trips there to enjoy these
  treasures has been wonderfully rewarding.

[Rambles.  Weak opening.  The grammar of the first sentence is
poor.  Try:]

  Years may pass, but not so my longing for that natural beauty,
  God-given and without equal, which rises from the Earth and
  gives foundation to your state. Even in memory, those peaks
  of granite and ice burn my into my mind the very strongest of
  emotions.  Many, many times have I come to see them, and
  not once have I returned from the journey disappointed.

[The original continues:]

  However, the passage this past Tuesday of Measure 2 means
  that I could not in good conscience consider visiting
  Colorado again until such time as the citizens and
  government of the state firmly and lastingly reject any such
  legislation based on hate and discrimination.  Free people
  do not discriminate against others.  Not being an elector
  there, my only recourse is economic, to let you know that I
  will spend none of my (substantial) disposable income in
  Colorado, nor will I knowingly purchase products
  manufactured in the state or marketed by businesses having
  their headquarters there.  In addition, I intend to use what
  powers of persuasion I have to urge others to serve similar
  notice.

[Much, *much* too long.  Try:]

  And yet, now, quite a different wonder of Colorado burns
  itself into my mind.  What, I ask you, could have possessed
  a people so rich in the wonders of nature to reject the
  equality of their fellow man?  Wherein the beauty of 
  contempt and hatred?

  I will not visit Colorado again, until the naked bigotry
  of Amendment 2 has been rejected.  The mountains shall 
  remain forever beautiful in memory and dream, even if the
  reality of their keepers has turned ugly and dark.

[Thus, the revised letter:]

  To whom it may concern,

  Years may pass, but not so my longing for that natural beauty,
  God-given and without equal, which rises from the Earth and
  gives foundation to your state. Even in memory, those peaks
  of granite and ice burn into my mind the very strongest of
  emotions.  Many, many times have I come to see them, and
  not once have I returned from the journey disappointed.

  And yet, now, quite a different wonder of Colorado burns
  itself into me.  What, I ask you, could have possessed
  a people so rich in the wonders of nature to reject the
  equality of their fellow man?  Wherein the beauty of 
  contempt and hatred?

  I will not visit Colorado again, until the naked bigotry
  of Amendment 2 has been rejected.  The mountains shall 
  remain forever beautiful in memory and dream, even if the
  reality of their keepers has turned ugly and dark.

  Sincerely, and with sadness,

  J. Anderson


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