From: brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage)
Subject: Thoughts
Organization: Epicentre of the Universe
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 07:53:04 GMT

THOUGHTS

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology:
    There's always one more bug.

Shaw's Principle:
    Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
    want to use it.

Law of Selective Gravity:
     An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Watson's Law:
     The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the
     number and significance of any persons watching it.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
stupidity of your action.

Hurewitz's Memory Principle:
     The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional
     to.....to........uh..............

A penny saved is ridiculous.

Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations:
     Negative expectations yield negative results.
     Positive expectations yield negative results.

Howe's Law:
     Everyone has a scheme that will not work.

Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability:
     Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the
     probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting
     some useful work done.

Brook's Law:
     Adding manpower to a late project makes it later.

Main's Law:
     For every action there is an equal and opposite government
     program.

"When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut."

Preudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning:
     It's on the other side.

Slick's Three Laws of the Universe:
     1)  Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad
    	    cheque.
     2)  A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.
     3)  There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is
	    attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is
	    attracted to dark objects.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
      -- Noelie Altito

Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a
larger object.
As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
is always a future in Computer Maintenance.

Pohl's law: Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate
            it.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that
will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure
can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly
develop.

Trivial pursuit -
     The culmination of man's
     never ending search for a
     lack of purpose.
	 - B.C. -

Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.

Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Keep in mind always the two constant Laws of Frisbee:
     1)  The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc
	    straining to land under a car, just out of reach (this
	    force is technically termed "car suck").
     2)  Never precede any manoeuvre by a comment more predictive
	    than "Watch this!"

Frisbeetarianism: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on
		        the roof and gets stuck.

Hofstadter's Law:
     It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take
     Hofstadter's Law into account.

"It is bad luck to be superstitious."
	  -- Andrew W. Mathis

The Principle of Inverse Visibility
     The visibility of an object is inversely proportional to the
     importance of finding it.

Origins: various
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David Bromage       brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au   : 
Monash University                                : "I think thinking is 
Clayton, Victoria   				 :  so important"
 Australia                                       : 	-Baldrick
 						 :   
     May the source be with you			 :     
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
	All views expressed are my own except those which conflict with
	my personal opinions.

Newsgroups: rec.humor