From: sl859@cc.usu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics,rec.arts.comics.misc
Subject: THE OFFICIALER LNH ROSTER!  MUST READ!  MUST SHARE IN THE JOY!
Date: 12 Sep 92 18:30:16 MDT
Organization: Utah State University

Hey everyone, wReam here with what might be a complete list???

This includes the original listing provided by SCAVENGER, with some
of the more recent addons!  I am exhausted now and for good reason.  I will
attempt to keep this list current and up to date so make sure if you spot an
error to let me know and that way it can be posted occasionally with the
ability to get better...   ALL READERS MUST READ THE END OF THIS MESSAGE,
Netiquette Lad says so, COMMON COURTESY!


The Legion
=======================
BAD-TIMING BOY (or Unlucky Lad)- Say the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time

BIBLIOGRAPHY BOY - The ability to answer any question (retired--see the Tygger)

BROWSING BOY - able to read Sandman, Hepcats, and Savage Henry while 
                             standing in front of comic rack

CALIFORNIA KID - read comix weeks after everyone else has discussed em...

CAPTAIN CLEANUP - errm good at cleaning up.

CATALYST LASS - the power to make others share my interests

CHEESECAKE-EATER LAD -primarily bodily function related powers, but they are
                     potent.

COMICS-SNOB-BOY - How *DARE* you read anything other than Cerebus, Love 
                And Rockets, or anything done by Alan Moore?  Now I must 
             wallow in pathos for 14 issues to show you the error of your
            ways (since,of course, I cant just start a *fight*, oh heavens no!)

DOCTOR STOMPER - ability to come up with an entertaining explanation for the 
                        stupid plotlines and plot devices

FIGMENT LAD - *****

FLAMEPROOF LAD - only flameproof, not able to emit flames

FROTHING-AT-THE-MOUTH LAD (or Annotation Child) - no explanation necessary 

FUZZY - vagueness and ambiguity that confound my enemies

INACOUSTIC KID - to silence flame wars where no one knew that it actually
                 happened

INCREDIBLE UNSLEEPING MAN (and his sidekick INSOMNIA BOY) --similar
                          powers to Late Nite Lad

IRONY MAN - Ability to emit and detect emissions of irony

LATE-NITE LAD -  Ability to stay awake for ridiculously long streches because he
             goofs off when he should be doing work durring the day time.

LIST LAD - the keeper of lots of silly lists (has yet to appear but guess
           who he is!)  (co-keeper of the roster of LNH/LNV)  

LURKING GIRL/ LURKING LASS - Invisible to most net.worlders, only sensed by 
	the best of psychics

LURKER LAD - maybe he should get together with Lurking Girl

MAINSTREAM MAN - Physically unable to buy an independent.

MARVEL ZOMBIE LAD - to recall virtually any Marvel Plot, no matter how hokey.
Undead follower of the Marvel way. 

MYK-EL - No powers yet, or at least not disclosed.

MULTI-TASKING LAD - ability to post to USEnet, read E-Mail, play net trek, and 
                    read old Flaming Carrot issues

NIT-PICK LAD - point out small errors which are, for the most part, incidental
                        to the discussion at hand.

OBSCURE TRIVIA LAD - ability to remember the stupidest bits of trivia.

ORGANIC LASS - the ability to memorize hundreds of chemical equations........
                  and then forget them all five minutes before an exam.

PARKING KARMA KID - always find a parking space, usually right next to the door

POMPOUS LAD - able to alienate even the most literate fellow readers with harsh
            critiques, only to to turn around and admit I like something 
            schlocky.

PROCRASTINATION BOY - started reading this net because of a major project due 
       to an Intro to Political Research Class. Came down to the computer
     lab to work on it, end up reading 100 posts on R.A.C. responding to 
     a few and then leaving without ever touching this project.

REBEL YELL - possesses the ability to rant and rave about a poor
       characterization of the South and New Orleans in particular in comics,TV,
       and Movies anyone actually cared (also your humble transcriber) 

SARDONIC BOY - float above rush hour traffic with my flight ring and make snide
                     Comments.

SIDEWINDER - start off by blasting my way into a topic, but eventually wind up
            on the sidelines
SIG LAD /SPELLCHECKER / PRICE GUIDE FREAK / ACTION LORD / SIGROACH /???
 -  Well, besides being Acton Lord's good twin, and posesses the abilities
of .sig he also is constantly mutating to fit the whim of Dave Van Domelen's
plot turnabouts.

SIG.FILE LAD -  Wanna be .sig powered one. 

SPELLING BOY - Spelling Boy tends to annoy just about everyone he encounters
but he draws his powers from the misspellings of others.  He was wasted by
Professor Perhap in a trap set up by the Ultimate Ninja, but with all the
errors he makes, spelling boy is back and in full force.  

SQUID BOY - can lend his body to Suicide Squid when he needs a disguise

SUPER APATHY LAD - to be tel-apathetic

TIME-WASTER LAD - turn what was supposed to be a mere check of my e-mail into
                 hours of time wasted reading this and other newsgroups

THE FORGETTING ONE - can never remember the damn artist/writers name until 
                     the next day.

THE INCREDIBLE MAN-WITH-NO-LIFE - !!

THE INVISIBLE INCENDIARY - Invisible because I post seldom, incendiary because 
            I seem to have this uncontrollable ability to set off flamewars.

THE TYGGER - current member with trivia related powers

TRIVIA KING - VERY similar to Marvel Zombie Lad

TYPO LAD - abble too mke thee mos amzing tyypos in alll off hiz sintincez.
           Cidekik wanno-bee to Rebul Yehl.


THE VILLIANS
==============================
ACTON LORD - Supposedly Small time villain who during the summer has
become the most powerful menace, and no one knows his powers...  It
has something to do with "Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

BLACK DUDE WITH THE HAT- has a hat

DUMB-ASS LASS - a psychotic loner who stands above coherence

FUNDAMENTALIST CIRCLE - a big circle, I presume

MANGA MAN - mostly in the realms of Special Effects and Timing

OMEGA.MOSELY - vanishes and reappears with the same stochastic irregularity as
               a good Batman villian

REPETITIVE LAD - To answer questions on the net that have already been 
          answered.  It wouldn't be that bad if they weren't the exact same 
          answers, only worded diferently.

THE DORFS  - horrendous ability to give callously cruel, and usually answers to
       intelligent posts, and cruelly dehumanizing responces to posts by 
       first timers who didn't know any better 

THE DUNCE CIRCLE - the members belive that their way is the only way and 
                 nobody else could ever possibly be right.

THE FAGBASHING EMPIRE - exactly


Other Personages that Have Appeared in the Last bit that could be considered
the Next Generation of LNH/V are below:

APPARENT GOOD_GUYS:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CLICHE DUDE - The wonderful comic cliche' man!

CONTINUITY CHAMP/ CAPTAIN CONTINUITY - Trying to establish law and order
to the mess of the LNH/V escapades.

CANNON FODDER - In every comic Cannon Fodder appears to allow other heroes
ability to demonstrate their powers on him.  He dies all the time.

CONTRAPTION MAN - Always making those wonderful gadgets and contraptions.

CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE - THIS HERO ALWAYS CAPITALIZES EVERYTHING WHICH HAS A 
TENDENCY TO GET OLD, AND THEREFORE, HE IS OFTEN KILLED ON THE SPOT, BUT IS
BROUGHT BACK WHEN SOMEONE POSTS SOMETHING IN ALL CAPITALS OR THEIR MODEM
SCREWS UP AND LOCKS THE MACHINE INTO ALL CAPS!

ALL KNOWING LAST CHANCE WHINER DESTINY WOMAN - Great for plot exposition, 
she tends to be mysterious and appears and disappears whenever the reader
is confused and needs a hint or two.  She also prophecies of things to come
like... the impending doom of RAC.

BANDWAGON BOY - He's libel to jump on in anywhere, even though BandWagon Boy
seldom knows what is going on.  Has been caught buying Image comics, but
he never gets the first issues, cuz he has no opinion, just others.

HOODED HO`'OD WIN - This ever curious hero, who recently disclosed she was a
female hero, will pit heroes against each other in an attempt to satiate the
curiousity of who would win in a battle.  It doesn't matter where the hero is
or what they are doing, she can conjure them up and make them fight

SISTER STATE-THE-OBVIOUS - Does exactly that.

ADAMANT AUTHORITY-ON-EVERYTHING - Thinks he knows it all and utterly refuses
to compromise his opinion.

MR. MULTITASK - The more Mature version of Multitasking Lad, Mr. Multitask
spends his life on his Amiga 3000, with sixteen windows open at once so he
can do everything and read a novel during switch over times.

ONOMATO-PUWEEAH PERSON - Able to take words like BOOM! BLAM!  and Any sound
F/X bubbles and use them as weapons.

DR. DERANGED - Whacky Mystic Extraordinare!  With his faithful sidekick
Wangsguard and his mystic Eye of Okidata he sets forth to do funny magic 
tricks.

Y-PLEX BURP - I have no idea, I just saw it in there and included it.

SELF-RIGHTEOUS PREACHER - Disgusted at profanity and pornography, sets out to
morally clean up the nets.

NETIQUETTE LAD - Flames any and all who don't adhere strictly to the
established laws of netiquette.

AMORPHOUS LAD - Mutates a lot.

DADA DUDE - Well, I saw him once or twice. He was thrown into some other
hero and that's about all I know.

AUNT COMIC-RELIEF - Whacky and Fun aunt to Continuity Champ, Aunt Comic-Relief
is the one who always stumbles into a potentially deadly situation and does
something so whacky and knee-slappingly capricious that everybody she meets 
leaves the scene feeling just a little better about themselves.

PROFESSOR G - leader of the Unmanned G men

THE UNMANNED G-MEN:

   ICEICEBABY - I guess has ice powers

   MARVEL ZOMBIE GIRL - like Marvel Zombie Boy, only feminine

   MATEL - Able to make matchbox toys or something to that effect, I forget.

   SHEIKLOPS -  Mid-Eastern Hero that can make a opticblast forcefield

   YEAST - Covered in blue dough.

CAPTAIN COREDUMP - Causes Unix C programmers no end of trouble!

DEDUCTIVE LOGIC MAN - Able to leap to incredible conclusions with the very 
least amount of evidence.

NET STAR - Flamboyant cocky net personality that likes to show up and
act like a celebrity.

GRAMMER LAD - I don't think he's ever demonstrated his powers, but he must
have similar powers as Spelling Boy, only he corrects grammar.

BACKGROUND BOY - I dont know, most of the time he's in the background.

INTERLUDE - Will cause storylines or little interludes of thoughts from
heroes that arent in the current story, and usually have nothing to do 
with it.

          
APPARENT BAD_GUYS:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TIME CRAPPER - Some powers about time shifting and what not, evil and
unstable.

TABLE - RL's mutant creation, but he's a Time Crapper sidekick? 

CHAIR - Romantic sidekick to table.

SPOON - rotates spleens

KNIFE -  Romantic sidekick to spoon, they ran off together.

SHADOWHICK -  Probably dead.

SAVAGE MaCon - Might be dead.

YOUNGSTUD - Should be dead.

GatorAde - I am not sure, but I think this guy is dead.

WildC.U.B.S. - One member is aparently Hairdo, but the rest haven't
	been currently defined.

WildG.N.A.T.S. - all been squashed.

DRAMATIZER - Apt to cause Over-dramatization of characters.

REDISTRIBUTER - redistributes

RE-EDITOR - reedits

COLLECTOR -  Collects for sentimental, monetary reasons

SPECULATOR - in it for the money

ROMANTIC-INUENDO - Cupid gone mad.  He is constantly pairing hero and villain
alike to make neat lover couples.

THE PUNISHED - Some misterious Villain base off of some mysterious unnamed
book.

X-OVER MEN - Mentioned once, I think by Dave Van Domelen, but I also think
they were destroyed in the same issue.

PLOT-ERROR MAN - Once I believe this guy was "Ben", now he hangs out with
Table and probably has something to do with plot errors...  (Boy! I am 
going out on a limb with that one!?)

PROFESSOR PERHAP - Reality warper, can make a "what if" scenario come to pass.

GREENRINGWRAITH - Evil mutation of some sort.

OCCULTISM KID - Has a special flare for Occult subjects, head's sortta lost
in the stuff.

RUMOR MONGER - If he's not making them up he's spreading the latest tidbits
of Gossip and rumor

DR. KILLFILE -  I have no idea, but I'll bet his name says something of
his powers

CROSSOVER QUEEN - Responsible for the mess of crossovers, she seeks to
Louise Simonsonize the whole internet.

ROYALTY KING - Henchman to Crossover Queen, he has strange financial powers
related to comics. 

FANBOY KING - Leader of thousands of children into the Image Crisis

DR. BORING - Exactly as the name says, wields the dreaded BlahBlah Ray Gun.

POSTTIME SHIFTER - If a storyline branches unexpectedly, and another posting
comes along claiming to branch from the some story, but is posted at the
same time... or whatever blame it this guy.

PLOTCHOPPER - If a plot gets chopped midstream you can guess its the work of
Plotchopper.

DYSLEXIA - She is responsible for the misreading into stories, and the warping
of the true meaning, because readers dont read it carefully.  (also responsible
for the mix up in names like Cliche kid/dude/lad, and Captian Continuity and
Continuity Champ.)

MCLAUGHLIN MAN - Insidiously, McLaughlin Man constantly politicizes everything

Wild Cards that show no particular alliances...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NETLURKER - Has Internet access, and although claims no real alliances, 
has worked in close ties with Acton Lord.  Netlurker can be found lurking
through out the net.

ULTIMATE NINJA - wReam's LNH/V persona, Ultimate Ninja is exactly what he
is...  Hey, imagine that!?  He draws upon the powers he's seen happen to 
martial arts films and is champion of one of the most overhyped powers
in comics today, but he is the best at it.  Ultimate Ninja uses Ninja Bush
to slay his enemies, as well as the Finger of Death, smiley and other 
ancient chinese/japanese/korean/thai/tibetan/oriental secrets...


I know that there are more somewhere, but these are the ones I could manage
to gleen from the last 50 postings.  If you have more... LET ME KNOW!
I have decided to keep the user names off of them because it will take me 
an additional hour or so to put them in, but if you wish to send me your
name that is affiliated with the character.  I will eventually have that 
too, I suppose... This really is a job for SCAVENGER!!!  :)  

Hope it is useful to you...

					wReam...
				     Ultimate Ninja!

P.S.  OH ATTENTION EVERY ONE!!! One of our LNHers has made it into the comics
this month!!!  Check out Marvel's West Coast Avengers #88 on page 18,
the center frame!  Cannon Fodder is there and even called by name!!!  He
even has a line!  Let's all support him in his appearance!  Congratulations
to you Cannon Fodder!  You lucky dog!