HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: conditt@tsd.arlut.utexas.edu (Paul Conditt)
Subject: Re: IN THE SPIRIT OF GIVING
Keywords: entomologist
Organization: Applied Research Laboratories, University of Texas at Austin
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 15:41:07 GMT

In article <1gp0l0INNjno@endeavor.ksu.ksu.edu> cress@endeavor.ksu.ksu.edu (Garrett C Cress) writes:
>
>Hello decent folks of alt.personals...
>     I know this isn't the right group, but I need the lyrics
>to a couple of fairly well known (except to me) Christmas
>tunes:
>
>	1. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
>	2. Deck the Halls

I know this isn't exactly what you're looking for, but my favorite
version of #2 comes from the move "A Christmas Story".  It is sung by
the wait staff in a Chinese restaurant - the only one open on Christmas
Day.  Here goes a loose interpretation:

Deck the harrs with boughs of horry
Fararara rara ra ra
Tis the season to be jorry
Farararara rara ra ra

>
>No this isn't a cheap attempt to get email, this is an
>honest request.
>I'm trying to make a parody to them.

Have fun!
>
>Thanks,
>Garrett
>
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good nite.

Paul
>


Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: shulick@navajo.ucs.indiana.edu (Sam Hulick)
Subject: Lame Flames (tm)
Organization: Vallen Software
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 01:10:32 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.165632.18475@oz.plymouth.edu>, j_babylo@oz.plymouth.edu (Jessica L. Babylon) says most sayishly:
>In article <15875@auspex-gw.auspex.com> rfisk@Auspex.COM (Rick Fisk) writes:
>>Gee I dunno. Maybe it's because they're trying to get a date.
>>Maybe they're just more desparate than I could imagine.
>>Maybe you flatter yourself
>>
>>Rick
>>
>Yeeeeehaaawwww.Go rickster, way to slam.You may be a slamhound yet,
>work on including some bigger words next time, and the correct
>spelling of 'desparate' is desperate, unless of course you were
>referring to them being desparate, but somehow i think you are the
>kind of macho asshole who would not admit to that.*SHRUG* In any case
>the goddess thanks you personally for that small teeny tiny itty
>bitty(albeit not wearing a bikini) ObFlame that is in actuality a
>SmFlame but it's the thought that counts.Giggle.
>
>- SMILE you've just been flamed by a Goddess.
   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Gee, stuck on ourselves, are we?  Talk about conceited.  As Freud would
say: "Tell me about your mother."

 - SMILE, you've just been flamed by a CS major.

-- 
    // Amiga 3000   ___ \ Sam Hulick: shulick@indiana.edu (NeXTmail OK!)
   // 68030 25 MHz /__/\ \ My opinions wear combat boots.  Or whatever.
\\// OS 2.04       \__\/ / "Walk!  Not bloody likely.  I am going in a
 \/                     / taxi."  --George Bernard Shaw
From: STAN@VM.TEMPLE.EDU (Stan Horwitz)
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
Subject: The meaning of life
Date: 11 Dec 92 20:16:22 GMT
Organization: Temple University - Computer Services

Now that I have your attention I must  tell you now that you men out there can
stop reading this now.  I am a 31  YO SWM in search of a female for friendship
and possibly romance.  This is the  third or forth advertisement I placed here
since this summer  and I have not  received any responses.  I  decided to give
this medium another try before deciding  whether to continue reading it, but I
have  yet to  see a  personals ad  from anyone  in my  area, nor  have I  ever
received any responses to those ads which were posted by SF outside my area.

I am  a bright guy with  an active, but dry,  sense of humor.  I  have lots of
interests including movies, music (anything but Opera and C & W), photography,
computers  (Macintosh),  travel,  aerobics,  and  mountain  biking.   I  am  a
wonderful  conversationalist  and  one  of  the few  guys  I  know  who  hates
professional sports and loves cats.  I also do not drink alcohol much and I do
not do drugs and never have.  I am also  a bit on the shy side and it takes me
a while  to get  to know  people since I  tend to  be apprehensive  around new
people.  I have about  5 close friends who will probably agree  that I am kind
hearted and very honest, and somewhat generous.   At present, I am a full time
computer  consultant and  part time  grad  student.  I  have an  undergraduate
degree in math and am persuing a Masters in educational psychology.

My preference  is for  a woman  who has an  interesting career  or is  in grad
school and is  independent minded.  If you're  the kind of woman  who wants to
stay at  home and raise  children to the exclusion  of all else,  please don't
respond.  I  like someone who  can keep me challenged,  but I also  admit that
looks are kind of important to me.  Someone who is slim and a non-smoker would
be nice.  I  am fairly easy to satisfy  since I tend to see  beauty which most
people do not.  Your religion is unimportant to  me as long as mine is to you.
The same goes  for your skin color,  nationality, etc.  so long as  you do not
smoke and do drugs.

If you want to write to me, please send your mail to stan@vm.temple.edu.  I am
looking for someone in the Philadelpha,  New Jersey, Deleware area.  If you're
not local, send me  mail anyway, its always nice to hear  from new people.  On
the off chance  that I do get  flooded with responses, please forgive  me if I
take a while to respond.  I will be busy studying for finals the next few days.
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: sherm@phx.mcd.mot.com (cassie)
Subject: Re: J_baby
Organization: Motorola Computer Group, Tempe, Az.
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 18:13:25 GMT

In article <7vn2#_b@rpi.edu> nasiom@rpi.edu writes:
>In article <1grse8INNmek@spool.mu.edu>, jason@studsys.mscs.mu.edu (Jason Hanson) writes:
>|> In article <BzFI79.JDA@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> shulick@navajo.ucs.indiana.edu (Sam Hulick) writes:
>|> >In article <1992Dec17.220138.14784@phx.mcd.mot.com>, sherm@phx.mcd.mot.com (cassie) says most sayishly:
>|> >>
>|> >>I'm just curious about one thing.  What kind of anal retentive
>|> >>jerk writes a sentance with 28 words, three or four subjective
>|> >>clauses and no god damn punctuation.
>|> >
>|> >His sentence is perfectly, grammatically valid.  Oh, by the way, you
>|> >spelled "sentAnce" wrong.
>|> 
>|> Thanks, Sam!  I didn't even catch that one...

Gee,  I spelled something wrong and I was understood anyway.

>
>hehehehe
>
>I think this is the best flame war yet...
>
>
>
>milt.

Makes me sad that I'm still not working on radar systems for F-16's
and Hill Air Force Base.  I could borrow one of those babies,
and really start some things afire.
From: daniel drucker <xyzzy@jaflrn.UUCP>
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
Subject: teenagers?
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 92 07:47:09 EST
Organization: The Wizzard's Cave, East Meadow, NY

Aren't there any teenagers here? I seems I've wondered into a flamefest...
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: ae907@yfn.ysu.edu (Roberta Steel)
Subject: Crossdressers in Western Mass
Reply-To: ae907@yfn.ysu.edu (Roberta Steel)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 16:16:34 GMT


There is a support group for crossdressers, TVs, TSs in the Western
Massachusetts area.  It is a non profit, non sexual group.  We hold
monthly meetings in a safe place and are trying to organize more outings
en femme to public places.

If you live in the Western Mass, Southern Vermont area, and are interested
in joining a group of people with like interests, write to me for info.

ae907@yfn.ysu.edu

or
Roberta Steel
P.O. Box 149
Hadley, MA  01035

-- 
Roberta

To err is human,
to really screw up, you need a computer.
From: jim@zeus.tamu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
Subject: Lets Put the "X" Back in Christmas!
Keywords: nightie, stockings, tinsel, video camera....
Date: 12 Dec 92 18:14:00 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
NNTP-Posting-Host: zeus.tamu.edu
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


This song comes off an album by Pinkard & Bowden entitled PG-13.

		Let's put the X Back in Christmas
		=================================
		This is the time for forgiving
		 and a time for starting anew,
		It's high time for trying some things, dear
		 that we've always wanted to do.

		So put on your red lace nightie
		 and pull your green stockings on,
		I'll tie you up in silver tinsel
		 as we sing some Christmas songs.

	CHORUS:
	The video camera is loaded, pointed and ready to go,
	So let's put the X back in Christmas, darlin', under the mistletoe!

		Please wear your jingle bell earings
		 and your red plastic high heels,
		we've got the holiday spirit
		 let's see just how good we can feel.

		Me in my Santa outfit
		 in the soft glow of Christmas tree lights,
		I'm ready to unwrap my present
		 and it might just take me all night.

	CHORUS:
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: sherm@phx.mcd.mot.com (cassie)
Subject: Re: J_baby
Organization: Motorola Computer Group, Tempe, Az.
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 21:42:51 GMT

In article <BzCtGx.33o@acsu.buffalo.edu> lerczak@acsu.buffalo.edu (Horse) writes:
>nasiom@hall104.its.rpi.edu (Milton Peter Nasiopoulos) writes:
>
>>No I think it's just that she has nothing else to do...
>>except maybe masturbate!
>
>are you kidding? with her mouth, she can't even get herself in bed. why else
>would she act the way she does? she is obviously sexually frustrated.

Naw,  If she really was sexually frustrated,  she'd
be masturbating now.  She's just trying to make those
who desire a dominate female to become sexually frustrated.

OR perhaps she's just looking for someone who will
take the time to fall for the real her, rather than
the net.personas which you guys seem to protray.

Or MAYBE she's just having

                ####### #     # #     #
                #       #     # ##    #
                #       #     # # #   #
                #####   #     # #  #  #
                #       #     # #   # #
                #       #     # #    ##
                #        #####  #     #


>
>>milt.
>
>Horse


Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: djw@wang.com (David Weinstein)
Subject: Re: homo section
Organization: Wang Labs, Lowell MA, USA
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 23:47:46 GMT

rhogan@phakt.usc.edu (Ron Hogan) writes:

>V5WA000 <V5WA@UNB.CA> writes:

>>Why is there so much homosexual material?  Obviously there are
>>many of you out there, butt when one thinks of personal ads
>>one thinks of heterosexuals.  Perhaps a new file could be
>>created.  ie alt.personals.samesex
>>I'm not advocating segregation but it would be nice to be sure
>>tof the sexuality of whom you are reading/responding to.

"When one thinks of personal ads one thinks of heteros"
Obviously I guess if all you read are hetero publications.
Ever read any gay publications? Im sure if you did you would 
find plenty of personals ads. Actually, here in Boston we have
the Boston Phoenix which prints personal ads for EVERYONE.
Does that make it a gay or straight paper or what?!?!?
Its just a paper like this is a newsgroup.

And Jessica, while I like your boldness sometimes, speaking
of Fruedian slips, from the way you talk all the time, you sound
VERY angry. Like you got some real Freudian stuff or something
running around in that little ole head of yours. So dont call
the kettle black.

Flame away! :)
From: lerczak@acsu.buffalo.edu (Horse)
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
Subject: Re: J_baby
Date: 16 Dec 92 13:29:21 GMT
Organization: No Quarter

nasiom@hall104.its.rpi.edu (Milton Peter Nasiopoulos) writes:

>No I think it's just that she has nothing else to do...
>except maybe masturbate!

are you kidding? with her mouth, she can't even get herself in bed. why else
would she act the way she does? she is obviously sexually frustrated.

>milt.

Horse
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: anonymus+3350@GODIVA.NECTAR.CS.CMU.EDU (Cyborg Ranger (INTELLIGENCE SCOUT))
Subject: Ladies, I am your stud!
Organization: BORG-JUSTICE ARMY #37 OF 45
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 17:51:33 GMT


Are you sick of wimpy men who act like women?

Poetry works for some people, but I like to be direct.

I can give you the multiple orgasms you want and need.

22 SWM 200lbs 6ft4 Brown Hair and Eyes

Interest include: >>>>

	Computers, Math, Science,
	Studying Female Anatomy,

I have ways to make you (ladies only) scream for joy until you give me your 
soul.

I aim to please!!!!


***********************************************************************
Cyborg Ranger * Open the networld and become one with it * #37 ********
***********************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: an286@anon.penet.fi
Subject: Re: homo section
X-Anonymously-To: alt.personals.ads
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 17:59:48 GMT

In article <1gjq3nINNd43@phakt.usc.edu>, rhogan@phakt.usc.edu (Ron Hogan) writes
:
>V5WA000 <V5WA@UNB.CA> writes:
>
>>Why is there so much homosexual material?  Obviously there are
>>many of you out there, butt when one thinks of personal ads
>>one thinks of heterosexuals.  Perhaps a new file could be
>>created.  ie alt.personals.samesex
>>I'm not advocating segregation but it would be nice to be sure
>>tof the sexuality of whom you are reading/responding to.

 [ . . . ]

>4)  And the word is 'homosexual'-- not 'homo'.  The homosexuals I know
>don't take kindly to the short version.

Interesting side note about point #4: in the constuction trades, the word
"homo" is commonly used as a humorously derogatory term for "homeowner".
The context usually involves homeowners who attempt to do carpentry,
as in "What a mess; typical homo framing job."  I heard this quite a
lot while my house was being remodeled.

Actually, my observation is that "homo", in its more common usage,
is one of those terms that the people so identified frequently use to
describe themselves, but which is insulting when used by someone outside
the group.  It's comparable in this regard to the unmentionable "N" word
for African Americans.  Speaking of which, there's a terrific black/gay
theater group called the Pomo Afro Homos; don't miss their show if they
come to your area!  ("Pomo" == "post-modern", for those not up on their
theater talk.)

ObPersonal, as long as I'm here: Formerly cynical but now amused,
late-30's, straight SF Bay Area male, not looking for anything in
particular, would welcome email correspondence with articulate and
interesting people, with the object of fun in whatever form it might take.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
Please note you _don't_ have to have an anon id to receive anonymous mail!
To see how your anonymized message would appear, mail it to test@anon.penet.fi
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: palukens@dante.nmsu.edu (LUKENS)
Subject: Re: J_baby
Organization: New Mexico State University, Las Cruces, NM
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 05:38:30 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.172341.9283@penet.fi> an286@anon.penet.fi writes:
>cs151kx@lamar.ColoState.EDU writes:
>>        I'm sorry, but is anyone that reads this newsgroup tired
>>        of hearing from Jessica Babylon?  Or is that Jessica
>>        BABBLE-ON?  I don't know, but I'm getting tired of hearing
>>        laborious descriptions of nothing from a self-righteous
>>        psudo-thinker who gets her kicks by criticizing those 
>>        who have a real interest in this catagory rather than an
>>        ego-boosting tool to extinguish the pains of living a real
>>        life.
>
>Don't worry; she'll be gone soon.  It's the end of the semester, and
>thankfully the winter holidays are about to bring us a bit of respite
>from sniggering freshmen basking in their first taste of freedom from
>Mommy and Daddy.  I would feel fairly confident in assigning Jessica to
>this category even if it were not for the following, extracted from the
>output of "finger j_babylo@oz.plymouth.edu":
>
>    Login name: j_babylo               In real life: Jessica L. Babylon
>    Office:  24-May-96	               Home phone: x....
>
>I gather that Plymouth State uses the "office" field to indicate the
>expected time of graduation, although I'd say that if Jessica doesn't put
>a bit more effort into learning the basics of English composition than
>she apparently has in her first semester, the entire issue of graduation
>may be moot.
>
>Incidentally, Jessica's .plan file runs 244 lines; why am I not even the
>tiniest bit surprised?  And, oh yes: I've deleted her phone number in
>the text above, but I do wonder if she realizes, or cares, just how easy
>it is to figure out her home phone number, using only tools available
>to everyone on the Internet.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
>Please note you _don't_ have to have an anon id to receive anonymous mail!
>To see how your anonymized message would appear, mail it to test@anon.penet.fi

So is that why you posted anon?  I fingered her to read the plan.  Impressive.
She obviously has a great deal of time on her hands.  Howdya know she's not going to school in her home town, and will have nothing to do BUT play on the net 
over Christmas?  My vote:  thought she was funny at first, really tired of her
crap now.
Patrick
From: squirrel@cco.caltech.edu (Pat White)
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
Subject: Why I am unsubscribing to this group, and BiF iso BiF
Date: 17 Dec 1992 06:42:23 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: sandman.caltech.edu
Keywords: Flames, idiots, BiF

The purpose of this group is actually for posting personal
ads by people interested in meeting other people for 
whatever reasons.  It is not for flames, or comments on ads
posted by actual people.  I will also kill all posts by the
useless flamers in this group, who probably have nothing
useful to say anywhere else, either.

With that said,

Married bisexual woman seeks other women for e-mail.
No replies to any male who might respond to this ad.
If you live in the LA area, we could meet for coffee and
conversation sometime.  

Pat White	squirrel@cco.caltech.edu
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: I4CN <I4CN@UNB.CA>
Subject: SF ISO a REAL man  ( using a friends account )
Organization: The University of New Brunswick
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 18:17:49 GMT



                  I am a student at UNB and this is my first forray
into the electronic personals... I am using a friend's account because I
am a part time student amd don't have one myself. But not to worry...
he said that he would not read my messages.....


 I am  5'5 blonde and blue eyed... my hair is about mid shoulder length.
 I enjoy sports and work out (weights) frequently. I am looking for a
man to have e-mail chats with, but I shall only reply if the topic
intrests me. So send away....  I'm lonley........



P.S I have a knockout body ( 36-24-36) and love to please !


Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: shulick@navajo.ucs.indiana.edu (Sam Hulick)
Subject: Re: J_baby
Organization: Vallen Software
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 00:18:45 GMT

In article <1992Dec17.220138.14784@phx.mcd.mot.com>, sherm@phx.mcd.mot.com (cassie) says most sayishly:
>In article <1gnnfiINNin1@spool.mu.edu> jason@studsys.mscs.mu.edu (Jason Hanson) writes:
>>I cannot believe that someone who doesn't know to add two spaces after each
>>sentence would have the audacity to accuse someone else of having a small mind.
>>Get a life, ma'am!
>>
>
>I'm just curious about one thing.  What kind of anal retentive
>jerk writes a sentance with 28 words, three or four subjective
>clauses and no god damn punctuation.

His sentence is perfectly, grammatically valid.  Oh, by the way, you
spelled "sentAnce" wrong.

-- 
    // Amiga 3000   ___ \ Sam Hulick: shulick@indiana.edu (NeXTmail OK!)
   // 68030 25 MHz /__/\ \ My opinions wear combat boots.  Or whatever.
\\// OS 2.04       \__\/ / "Walk!  Not bloody likely.  I am going in a
 \/                     / taxi."  --George Bernard Shaw
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca (Brad Booth)
Subject: Re: Lame Flames (tm)
Followup-To: alt.flames
Originator: bbooth@bcrks6
Reply-To: bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca (Brad Booth)
Organization: BNR, Ottawa, ON, Canada
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 15:52:53 GMT


Jessica L. Babylon wrote:
> Sam Hulick wrote:
> >Jessica L. Babylon says most sayishly:
> >>Rick Fisk wrote:

[flame shit deleted...]

Get this crap out of her and take it to alt.flames instead!!

Follow-ups to alt.flames...


     o                      )   o/      |  Brad Booth
    [|= ------------------))))  |       |  Bell-Northern Research
     /,                     )  -/       |  Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
                                        |  bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca
How do you like your net.jerks? Crisp!  |  These are my opinions!
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: "headly westerfield" <headly.westerfield@canrem.com>
Subject: j_baby
Reply-To: "headly westerfield" <headly.westerfield@canrem.com>
Organization: Canada Remote Systems
Distribution: alt
Date: 19 Dec 92 09:43:05 EST

<">     I'm sorry, but is anyone that reads this newsgroup tired
<">     of hearing from Jessica Babylon?  Or is that Jessica
<">     BABBLE-ON?  I don't know, but I'm getting tired of hearing
<">     laborious descriptions of nothing from a self-righteous
<">     psudo-thinker who gets her kicks by criticizing those
<">     who have a real interest in this catagory rather than an
<">     ego-boosting tool to extinguish the pains of living a real
<">     life.

Personally, I enjoy reading her posts.

I think she does a very good job of pricking those over-inflated
egos we see in the newsgroup.

Carry on, Jessica.  You have at least one fan out here.

>>>=====Headly=Westerfield===>
--
Canada Remote Systems  - Toronto, Ontario
World's Largest PCBOARD System - 416-629-7000/629-7044
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From:  anon@penet.fi
 Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
Subject: ISO Bald Pussy and Big Nipples
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 00:15:32 GMT
Organization: AT&T, Tahiti branch

I would like to meet someone who will let me have
dessert served on their bald pussy. I know this is
very kinky, but it is something I've been wanting 
to do for a long time.  The big-nipples part is not
necessary, but all the better. I live in Tahiti but make
a comfortable living and am will to fly anywhere in 
the world to fulfill my fantasy. My vacation's coming
up, so hurry with your e-mail!  
No, I'm not an old man,  I'm only 29.

Bye!  
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
From: willson@seas.gwu.edu (Stephen R. Willson)
Subject: Re: WM ISO WF (DC Area)
Organization: George Washington University
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 18:03:55 GMT

Well I say his message got through.
-- 
-----------------------+-------------------------------------------------------
 Stephen R. Willson    | A fitting end to a screwy campaign year...
 willson@seas.gwu.edu  | Here to swear in the President of the United States,
 (202) 395-4922        | Larry King!                         -The Miami Herald
From: tdl001@acad.drake.edu
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads
Subject: Pert.Wholesome.Way Lethal.
Date: 14 Dec 92 07:21:58 GMT
Organization: Drake University, Des Moines, Iowa, USA

Single White Female, 21, 5'10" Red Hair, Green Eyes, Irish Descent.

Seeks caring, compassionate male who is modern enough to let me be myself, but
old fashioned enough to treat me like a lady. I enjoy movies, classical
literature and Heavy Metal (But I don't look like your Stereotypical "Rocker"
type).

I like long walks, ice skating, a good hockey game, and an occassional
Metallica concert. I'm looking for a friend in a world where friends are hard
to come by. 

Heather

PS- I am posting from a friend's account, so don't get confused by the Userid.
Newsgroups: alt.personals.ads