HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mauax@warwick.ac.uk (Brazil)
Subject: Re: Still more jokes
Organization: Computing Services, Warwick University, UK
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 06:12:31 GMT

In article <193gdpINNcnc@peponi.wcc.govt.nz> rolleston_c@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz writes:

> 
>WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
> 
>VAIN: A person who loves the smell of his own farts.
>AMIABLE: A person who loves the smell of other people's farts.
>PROUD:  A person who thinks his farts are exceptionally fine.
>SHY: A person who releases silent farts and then blushes.
>IMPUDENT: A person who boldly farts out loud and then laughs.
>NERVOUS: A person who stops in the middle of his fart.
>HONEST: A person who admits he farted but offers good medical reasons.
>DISHONEST: A person who farts and then blames the dog.
>STRATEGIC: A person who conceals his farts with loud coughing.
>SADISTIC: A person who farts in bed and then fluffs the cover over his
>bedmate.
>ATHLETIC:  A person who farts at the slightest exertion.

None try this:

ADVENTUROUS: A person who farts where no fart has ever farted before.

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: zuniga@loligo.cc.fsu.edu (Ralph Zuniga (FREAC/CAR))
Subject: REQUEST:  Wedding Jokes for a FEMALE friend
Organization: Florida State University Computing Center
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 92 19:33:23 GMT



	I have a FEMALE friend who is getting married.
	Does anyone have any weddings jokes I can tell her.



Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: aldavi01@romulus.spd.louisville.edu (Arlie Davis)
Subject: Re: Quote by Woody Allen
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 17:24:24 GMT
Organization: University of Louisville

In <1992Sep14.141306.24768@wam.umd.edu> bianc@next09cville.wam.umd.edu (WierdnesS) writes:

> > |> >My brain: it's my second favourite organ.
> > |> 
> > |> I had a troubled childhood - I was breastfed from falsies.

>   "I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.  I want to achieve it by
not dying.
  -- Woody Allen (duh!)

-- 
lrwx------   1 aldavi01 emacsstu       9 Jun  6 12:43 .signature -> /dev/null
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: awv0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (ALAN WRIGHT VEROSTICK)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Date: 10 Sep 92 17:27:11 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Sep9.074847.23765@alf.uib.no>, s312@brems.ii.uib.no (Permjit Bha
mra) writes:
>clyde@brahms.udel.edu (Clarence W Robinson) writes:
>: In article <1ek4oB1w164w@jab.tucson.az.us> cr@jab.tucson.az.us (clint ruoho)
writes:
>: >kelly@igor.tamri.com (Kelly Kittell) writes:
>: >
>: >> We have a very pleasant Filipino woman who lives in our neighborhood.
>: >> Her name is Bea Ver.
>: >
>: >I once knew a Jewish guy named Ham Berger...
>:
>: Delaware has a State Senator (or at least had one) named Al O. Plant.
>: No lie.  He always included his middle initial.
>
>-- Stuff deleted --
>
>I knew a gynecologist, her name was Mrs. Hymen ....
>
>: >Let's just hope her husband's name isn't Dick...<g>
>
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My parents run training seminars in Philly once a month.  One month we had a
registration for a guy named Rod Dick...sounds a bit redundant, doesn't it?



-- 
===============================================================================
"Hell, if you understand everything I said, you'd be me!"
                                -Miles Davis
===============================================================================
Alan W. Verostick(Tarkus)              | "An artist's first responsibility is
215-758-0460                           |  to himself."
AWV0@PL118F.CC.LEHIGH.EDU              |               -Miles Davis
From: rab1@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (RICHARD A. BLONSKI)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Very Offensive Vampire Joke
Date: 7 Sep 92 20:04:42 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

This is a really sick joke  (Second warning!)

    A vampire walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says, "Can I have
a cup of warm blood?"  The bartender says, "Sorry sir, we don't serve that
here."  Then the vampire leaves.
    A different vampire walks into the bar and also asks, "Can I have a cup of
warm blood?"  The bartender again says, "Sorry sir, we don't serve that here."
This vampire leaves also.
    A third vampire then walks into the bar and the bartender says to him, "If
your looking for warm blood, we don't serve that here."  To this the vampire
says, "Well, in that case, does anyone here have a used tampon?  I'd really
like to make some tea."


Rich Blonski
Lehigh University

<< What's that smell?  Jamyz!  Your arms are burning!"
                                --Jason Newsted of METALLICA >>
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.pakistan
From: oaf@serverx.osf.org (Oded Feingold)
Subject: Dahmeryoks
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Summary: annoying the animals in the net.zoo
Organization: Open Software Foundation
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 22:21:27 GMT

Why did Jeff Dahmer's apartment smell bad?  
	He failed to invest in footlockers or chest freezers.

What's blond, has big boobs and lives in Sweden?
	Salman Rushdie.
(If Salman Rushdie showed up with a foolproof plan to save the world,
I'd kill him anyway.)

The problem with Sirhan Sirhan - he told the parole board that if RFK
	were alive he'd recommend Sirhan go free:
	*	If RFK were alive, Sirhan would be free anyway.
	*	(Standard response already seen on rec.humor)
			"The one guy who'd stand up for you,
			 and you shot him.  Dummy!"

Oded Feingold  oaf@osf.org     Contractor at  Open Software Foundation
OSF:   11 Cambridge Center     Cambridge,  Ma. 02142    (617) 621-7265
Home:  408 Broadway            Somerville, Ma. 02145    (617) 776-1225
From: miner@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Chinese Restaurant
Date: 5 Sep 92 09:11:23 CDT
Organization: University of Kansas Academic Computing Services

In article <1992Sep5.075705.19310@nuscc.nus.sg>, sci10019@nusunix2.nus.sg (YU HONG WEY) writes:
>  Good one! I simply love it... great for dramas! Anymore of these?

Ditto!  Very funny--really enjoyed it.
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 14:53:10 EDT
From: <HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests

In article <1692@heurikon.heurikon.com>, deanc@ex.heurikon.com (Dean Cheney)
says:
>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF THIS DOESN'T STOP, IM GOING TO START THE WORST CASCADE    .
>EVER
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHILE EATING THIS SLOP, I SEWED THE FIRST BROCADE BEAVER.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>BILE FITTING RIG STOP, LIE SPEWED THIRST LIVER !!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE, AT LEAST DELIVER...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHO MAY I ATTRIBUTE TO THIS BEASTLY SLIVER?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>TO SPAY A LUTE IN A GREASY RIVER
>>>>>>>>>>>>DAMN CASCADERS THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER
>>>>>>>>>>>I WILL NOT CASCADE; NOPE, NO, NEVER
>>>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A TRAIN?
>>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, IN THE RAIN?
>>>>>>>>R2-D2 ON THE BRAIN?
>>>>>>>This cascade is damn insane!
>>>>>>And it's really getting lame!
>>>>>POST IN CAPS YOU WEIRDOS, WHAT ARE YOU DEAF ? !!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>>YOUVE RUINED MY RIGHT EAR, HOW 'BOUT THE LEFT?
>>>LEFT AT THE NEXT LIGHTS, UNLESS RED
>>THIS SILLY THING IS SOMETHING I DREAD,
>>BETTER I SHOULD BE BUSY IN BED !
>WANKER, GIVE THY HAND A REST!
PUT YOUR SISTER TO THE TEST.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: reidyj@CS.ORST.EDU (Jay Reidy)
Subject: Re: Jokes to offend almost everybody (repost, these aren't my jokes)
Organization: Computer Science Dept., Oregon State University
Date: Sat, 05 Sep 1992 23:03:14 GMT

In article <TZcLqB8w165w@aqua.ocunix.on.ca> cowan@aqua.ocunix.on.ca (Darin Cowan (root)) writes:
>walker@superman.jsc.nasa.gov (Doug Walker) writes:
>
>> In article <1992Sep04.003942.20583@bnr.ca>, bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash
>> |> In article <Bu0z2z.Evx@scd.hp.com>, tim@hpdstma.ptp.hp.com () writes:
>> |> |>Nuke the gay whales!
>> |>  
>> |> No, no, no, no!
>> |> It's :
>> |> 
>> |> Nuke the Commie Gay Baby Whales
>> |> 
>> |> :)
>> |> 
>> 
>> No, no, no, no!
>> It's :
>> 
>> Nuke the Commie Gay Baby Whales for Christ
>> 
>> :-)
>> 
>
>Nope.  It's Nuke the Unborn Commie Baby Gay Whales for Christ.
>
>
>
   Nuke the commie baby gay whales for the Shah.

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Followup-To: rec.humor
Keywords: n
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 23:47:24 GMT

In article <1992Sep11.182851.15558@hou.amoco.com> zcjm0f@wwnv42.uucp (CJohn Mace) writes:
>>> ====================================
>>> Lazy American Worker...and Proud!
>>
>>Of being lazy?
>>
>sarcasm...  some japanese report called american workers fat and lazy...
>some congress-type person quipped something like "yeah, but we make a 
>pretty damn good bomb"
>
>>Mike van der Velden
>>Distributed Systems Laboratory, Fujitsu Laboratories Ltd., Kawasaki, Japan
>>e-mail: vander@tokyo.hi.flab.fujitsu.co.jp
>>
>

Yeah, but remember what they say about a Dutchman's sense of "HUMOUUUUUUUR".
Even a Japanese dutchman.

-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
From: dos@major.panix.com (Dave O'Shea)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Humor
Date: Fri, 04 Sep 92 10:44:26 EDT
Organization: Hurts rent-a-dungeon, Inc.

HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu writes:

> In article <1992Sep2.171641.5679@gagme.chi.il.us>, anton@gagme.chi.il.us
> (Andrzej Borowiec) says:
> >>  How come this is called 'rec.humor'?
> >Are you trying to start a cascade?
> He's probaly got a brain tumor.
Now look at the mess you made.
From: JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu (Joe Carlson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: NoTitle
Date: 10 Sep 92 21:39:48 GMT
 <1992Sep8.205640.15327@ringer.cs.utsa.edu>
Organization: Penn State University


In article <1992Sep8.205640.15327@ringer.cs.utsa.edu>,
lipscomb@lonestar.utsa.edu (David S. Lipscomb) says:

>In article <1992Sep8.192524.6108@seas.gwu.edu> ahmad@seas.gwu.edu (Aftab
>Ahmad)
>writes:
>>
>>       Read it in a comics book.
>>
>>
>>Speed of light is 186000 miles/sec. The speed of darkness cannot be measured.
>The exact speed of light is 186,282.397 miles/sec in a vacuum.
                                                        =======

                                         Or a blondes head...same thing really.
From: rolleston_c@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz (Chris Rolleston)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Still more jokes
Date: 15 Sep 1992 02:05:45 GMT
Organization: Wellington City Council, Wgtn, NZ
Reply-To: rolleston_c@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz
NNTP-Posting-Host: kosmos.wcc.govt.nz

"Doctor, I have this terrible problem; I can'r remember a thing."
exclaimed an anxious lady to her doctor.
"How long have you had this problem?" the doctor asked.
"What problem?" she replied.
 
---
 
I don't give a shit
I don't take any shit
I'm not in the shit business.
 
---
 
JOIN THE ARMY
Travel to exotic, distant lands.
Meet exciting, unusual people
and kill them.
 
---
 
Don't drink and drive
You might  hit a bump
& spill your drink.
 
---
 
WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
 
VAIN: A person who loves the smell of his own farts.
AMIABLE: A person who loves the smell of other people's farts.
PROUD:  A person who thinks his farts are exceptionally fine.
SHY: A person who releases silent farts and then blushes.
IMPUDENT: A person who boldly farts out loud and then laughs.
NERVOUS: A person who stops in the middle of his fart.
HONEST: A person who admits he farted but offers good medical reasons.
DISHONEST: A person who farts and then blames the dog.
STRATEGIC: A person who conceals his farts with loud coughing.
SADISTIC: A person who farts in bed and then fluffs the cover over his
bedmate.
ATHLETIC:  A person who farts at the slightest exertion.
 _
(_)o
/\  \ Help!  I've been stuck in here for years and years...
From: cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz (Phil Ross)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: RE: Christian Joke
Keywords: Barf And Dwibble
Date: Mon, 07 Sep 92 23:40:57 +1200
Distribution: World
Organization: The Hovel Bulletin Board System

maridai@ecs.comm.mot.com (Marida Ignacio) writes:

> It's true, this is rec.humor but as a Christian myself who is
> in America, I am free to express my opinion on the joke.  Anyway, 
> I did not get it.  It seems without a punchline of some sort.  
> That is one reason, somebody can get pissed off.  There was no
> humor in it.  

It's an old joke, with quite a few variations.  One variant was Jesus
crucified on the cross, calling out "Peter..Peter".  Peter wasn't allowed in
till he did certain things over and over.  Then, he finally reached Jesus,
and said "Yes Lord, what is it?" ... and Jesus says "Peter... I can see your
house from here."

> A non-believer (claims to be atheist) did this:
> 
>   |In article 38617, ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller) writes:
>   | < stuff deleted >
>   |C'MON, JESUS, TAKE YER BEST SHOT!!!
>   |
>   |...waiting
>   |...waiting
>   |...still waiting
>   |
>   |Nope, he doesn't seem to mind at all.
>   |
>   |  < stuff deleted >
>   |*...your Friendly Neighborhood Atheist // "Peter...PETER!!  I can see    *
>   |         ^^^^^^^^
>   |        
>   |*      the KelleyMan:Kelley L. Miller // your house from here!"          *
>   |*                  ae642@yfn.ysu.edu // Jesus Christ, from the cross     *
>   |****************Know God...No peace.  No God...Know peace.****************
>                                        
> Friendly?  The flames do not fall in my category of friendliness.
> Well, for a non-believer, you seem to think that you know something
> about Jesus.  
> BUT, since you are a non-believer, how do you expect
> Him to *believe* you are actually calling for Him to respond to you?

Who cares if he was friendly or not?  Least he was trying to be funny, and
not debating his religon (or lack of) on REC.HUMOR.  You can live in America,
you can have your first ammendment rights and eat apple pie.  But rec.humor
is for jokes.

> -Marida

Joke:  "I ran into an old friend from high school today.. she hadn't aged a
        bit.   In fact, she looked even younger!"
       "So what happened?"
       "I ran into her again!  And again!" (Sounds of car accelerating then
                                            hitting a soft human shape)

--
cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz    X Phil Ross
cybapunk@tornado.welly.gen.nz  X Sysop of The Hovel BBS
cybapunk@sideways.welly.gen.nz X Author of Lords And Ladies, _THE_ BBS door!
     ... If at first you don't succeed, redefine success ...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: usenet@inesc.pt (USENET News System)
Subject: Re: TESTING
Reply-To: jota@iguana.UUCP (Joao Pedro Martins)
Organization: INESC - Inst. Eng. Sistemas e Computadores, LISBOA, PORTUGAL.
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 16:47:14 GMT

In article <1.165.uupcb@philabs.philips.com> john.fix%hardgood@philabs.philips.com (John Fix)  writes:
>Testing
>                                                                                                                        
	AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH !!!!

	Really funny ! A really funny joke, 4 a change ! 

	These guys kill me...


----
 joao Pedro Martins, Lisboa, Portugal - jota@tutor.UUCP
 
 "Carpe Diem, she muttered, and laughed. We seize the day.	
  Well, sometimes, the day seizes back !" (Psychodrome) 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cobra@coyote.datalog.com (Ken Thompson)
Subject: Political Humor
Organization: Datalog Consulting, Tucson, AZ
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 92 00:50:07 GMT

 
   
 Today, this was handed to me (I'm not of the Republican faith, sorry! :)  )
and I thought it rather unique, thus it's being posted...
 
                      Republican Twenty-Third Psalm
 
Ike is my shepherd,
I am in want;
He maketh me to lie down on park benches;
He leadeth me beside the still factories;
He restoreth my doubts in the Republican Party;
He guideth me down the paths of unemployment, for his party's sake.
 
Yea, tho I walk thru the valley of the soup kitchens, I'm still hungry.
I do fear evil, for thou art against me.
Thou hast anointed my income with taxes;
Surely poverty and hardship shall follow me all the days of the Republican
administration.
And I shall live in rented houses forever.
 
Five thousand years ago, Moses said, "Pick up your shovels, mount your
asses, and I shall lead you to the Promised Land."
 
Five thousand years later, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, light up
a Camel, sit on your asses - this IS the promised land!"
 
Now, with Ike, he will take away your shovels, sell your Camels, kick your
asses, and tell you there IS NO Promised Land!
 
 
I wonder if the word "Ike" can now be substituted with the word "Bush"??
 

Ken Thompson - cobra@coyote.datalog.com  - GEnie: K.THOMPSON23  
Alternate address: cobra@jab.tucson.az.us
Xref: sparky rec.humor:28654 aus.jokes:1253
From: unregistered@newcastle.ac.uk (Scott A. McIntyre)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes
Subject: Re: amusing system errors
Date: 15 Sep 92 11:23:20 GMT
Reply-To: S.A.McIntyre@durham.ac.uk
Organization: Synapse Computer Consultants
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4


I seem to recall Tandy Model I computers being blessed with informative
messages along the lines of:
"What?"
"How?"

And so on...
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes
From: mccart@mdd.comm.mot.com (Gary McCartney)
Subject: Re: A joke!! (a good one!)
Reply-To: mccart@MDI.COM
Organization: Motorola, Mobile Data Division - Seattle, WA
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 21:09:34 GMT

In article <1992Sep15.120307.23472@wisipc.weizmann.ac.il>, jhsegal@wiscon.weizmann.ac.il (Livy) writes:
|> Here is  a joke about Bush(to tell you the truth it was originally about Plateau
|>  Sharon ,if you know who he is,but it fits to Bush also):
|> 
|>  Son to Dad:
|>  Son:Dad,why everybody hates president Bush?
|>  Dad:Oh...How can I explain it to you san?...Let's say he pee in the pool...
|>  Son:Oh,Dad,but EVERYBODY pee in the pool!
|>  Dad:But there is a limit son!!Bush pee from the take-off board!!!!!!
|> 
|>  Good?
|>  Bye
|>  Livy
no not good
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ahmad@seas.gwu.edu (Aftab Ahmad)
Subject: NoTitle
Organization: George Washington University
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 19:25:24 GMT


	Read it in a comics book.

	
Speed of light is 186000 miles/sec. The speed of darkness cannot be measured.
From: lc1r+@andrew.cmu.edu (Lori Cole)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: POLITICALLY CORRECT DOUBLE SPEAK????
Date: 6 Sep 92 14:21:21 GMT
	<1992Sep05.230556.3057@CS.ORST.EDU>
	<geeKDXO00Uh744_GMO@andrew.cmu.edu>
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

Or my current favorite -

    Fat = gravitationally disadvantaged

Lori Cole
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jd@dickens.com (Joe Dudar)
Subject: Re: Hiya
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 13:24:06 GMT
Organization: Dickens Data Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Sep10.154819.28988@brtph560.bnr.ca> mpetro@brtph126.bnr.ca (Myron Petro P030) writes:
>  Humor concerning Physics, actually all undergrad lab courses
> (or how to know which lab class you're in)
>
> If it's green it's Biology
> 
> If it stinks it's Chemistry 
>
> If it doesn't work it's Physics
>
>
And if it can add two integers it's Artificially Intelligent.  (At least as
far as the industry's sales force is concerned.)
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph A. Dudar  |  Help?  He doesn't need help, he needs hindrances:  if he
jd@dickens.com   |  has to climb over enough of them, he might inadvertently
Atlanta, GA      |  fall on top of her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And of course, my opinions may not coincide with those of my employer.  TBTG
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 00:18:35 EDT
From: Matt Wright <MGW104@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Seen on a bathroom wall...

My friend told me he was constipated, but I think he was full of shit!


                                     MATT
From: cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz (Phil Ross)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Keywords: Pah
Date: Sat, 05 Sep 92 23:00:07 +1200
Distribution: World
Organization: The Hovel Bulletin Board System

marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:

> In article <1992Sep3.020842.23955@news.ysu.edu> ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Mil
> >
> >In a previous article, marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) says:
> >
> >
> >Now, one last time, I am in America, and I like religious humor.  I will
> >read it, and I will post it as I choose, as is my right.  If you don't
> >like it, TOO FUCKING BAD!!  Live with it...
> >-- 
> 
>     Friend, so what cave did you grow up in, and why there is so much
> hatred in you? I don't have anything against religous jokes so long as
> they are not offensive, but why must we get so desperate to pull out
> the dirtiest laundry? Ye, Ye, I know GET THE F*** OF THE NETWORK IF
> YOU DON'T LIKE, have any better arguments?

That is the only argument that is needed.  If you don't like the joke, don't
read it.  At least one other person is going to like it.  So you don't think
that is a good argument... well what the fuck, do you think I care?  No.
I'd just rather read jokes here than your pathetic whining.  So go back to
yer polish newsgroup.

..and I do believe, Mario, in an earlier post you said you'd leave this group,
or at least, make the last post to it.  Or did you decide you'd tell us what
should be posted on here a little longer, and criticise everyone elses posts.
I don't see any jokes coming from you.

Ob Joke (rather terrible):  How can you tell a pole?
                            He has a wooden expression.

No, it doesn't make reading the flame worthwhile, but I tried ;-)

--
cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz    X Phil Ross
cybapunk@tornado.welly.gen.nz  X Sysop of The Hovel BBS
cybapunk@sideways.welly.gen.nz X Author of Lords And Ladies, _THE_ BBS door!
     ... If at first you don't succeed, redefine success ...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jat8419@ritvax.isc.rit.edu (TRAUMA JUNKIE)
Subject: R U lokoing for Lydia?
Reply-To: jat8419@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 19:06:54 GMT

Anyone looking for the Lyrics to Lydia the Tatooed Lady  E-Mail
JLT1270@ritvax.isc.edu  he knows 'em..always sings 'em but he rarley reads the group
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John A. Ternay
Emergency Medical Services Certified First Responder
Pre-Medical Studies				R.I.T. Ambulance
MD2B					Cornwall Volunteer Ambulance Corps.
			"Trauma Junkie"
            "We make house-calls....all night long"
From: tes0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (THOMAS EDWIN SCHMIDLIN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Pearl Harbour (was Re:Agnostics and Athiests)
Date: 8 Sep 92 14:39:01 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Sep7.200406.49637@ccvax.ucd.ie>, wboatclb@ccvax.ucd.ie writes:
>In article <1992Sep6.185842.182694@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, gtr0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (
GLEN TORLEIF RYEN) writes:
>
>>     Over?!?  Nothing is over until we say it is!  Was it over when the German
s
>> bombed Pearl Harbor?
>>
>>                                 John Belushi (RIP)
>
>I think the Japanese deserve the credit here.
>
>- Rob.
>

That's the joke Rob.

"Germans?"
"Forget it, he's rolling."
"... And it ain't over now.  Cause when the going gets tough. . ."
-- 


Tom Schmidlin       DEEP THOUGHTS: By Jack Handey - If God dwells inside
TES0@LEHIGH.EDU         us, like some people say, I sure hope he likes
215-758-0865            enchiladas, cause that's what he's getting.
From: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM (Fil Feit)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Mike Tyson Joke
Date: 15 Sep 92 17:32:27 GMT
Reply-To: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems

My favorite line after the Douglas-Tyson fight was from Jay Leno, who said
that Tyson would still have the Pepsi endorsement even though he lost; they
were just going to change the slogan from "Can't Beat the Feeling" to "Can't
Feel the Beating".

--f2
----------------
  Bush-Quayl '92
  It's a mistake