HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: "thomas miller" <thomas.miller@canrem.com>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: sex at disneyland?
Date: 14 Apr 92 17:48:58 EST
Reply-To: "thomas miller" <thomas.miller@canrem.com>
Distribution: rec
Organization: Canada Remote Systems


K'>Of course you've heard that Snow White was fired from Disneyland. She
K'>threw Pinocchio on the ground, sat on his face, and screamed "Lie to me!
K'>Lie to me!"


do you know what smoreplay is ?






















Its what smurfs do befor they smuck!

                                                                               
        ____________________________________________________________
       !          0 !            I`DE RATHER BE SKING               !
       !    ,/`'//, !_______________________________________________!
       !    :  // : !            From the keyboard of               !
       !    :  >> ; !                Tom miller                     !
       !    ; //    !              Toronto Canada                   !
       !____________!_______________________________________________!
---
  DeLuxe 1.12 #8589   Stealth condoms: she`ll never see you cumming
--
Canada Remote Systems  - Toronto, Ontario/Detroit, MI
World's Largest PCBOARD System - 416-629-7000/629-7044
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hucke@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Matt Hucke)
Subject: Re: A found riddle!
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 17:45:32 GMT

In article <1992Apr7.105404.5323@vax.oxford.ac.uk> wilcox@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>> One hundred and one is incorrect since the correct spelling of 101 is
>> one hundred one thus no letter "a" used
>
>It all depends what language you speak, as I said. In American English, 101
>/is/ one hundred one, but in UK English, which is what /I/ speak, 101 is most
>definitely one hundred and one. As I said, I can't help speaking a different
>language to you.

He was talking about the *correct* spelling, not the UK spelling.  There
is a vast difference.

:) :) :) :) :) <---included for the benefit of annoyed Englishmen who
                   are thinking of flaming me.


-- 
        Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche.
                      hucke@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu
                      Gene Roddenberry 1921-1991
From: maschler@vms.huji.ac.il (MICHAEL MASCHLER)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Foghorn Leghorn quotes
Date: 15 Apr 92 07:03:36 GMT
Organization: The Hebrew University of Jerusalem
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    Lines: 25

In article <1992Apr10.011202.9029@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu>, ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Eric Huppertz) writes...
>That dog's strictly G.I.--Gibberin' Idiot, that is.
>Nice boy, but he's got more nerve than a bum tooth.
>That boy's got a mouth like a cannon--always shootin it off.
>If that cat don't stop talkin so much, he'll get his tongue sunburned.
>
>-E.
>
>--
>Eric J. Huppertz, Systems Manager : "I turned my air conditioner around and it
>Daily Vidette, Illinois State U.  :  got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't
>ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu     :  understand, it was supposed to be 80
>(309) 438-8565                    :  today,' and I said 'Oops.'"  -S. Wright

A man was repeating this joke for 80 years. That made him quite old.

Michael

Michael Maschler                        One should observe two rules
Department of Mathematics               in order to succeed in one's career:
The Hebrew University
Jerusalem, Israel                       1. Never reveal to others everything
                                           you know.
From: Bob.Underdown@f1040.n391.z1.FidoNet.Org (Bob Underdown)
Sender: UUCP@p0.f1060.n391.z1.FidoNet.Org
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject:  To Be A Bit Technical About This....
Date: 13 Apr 92 13:01:11 EST

 DJD> It is also Shameless and Dsigusting that some men are
 DJD> still willing to Ply women with an ORGASM as an inducement
 DJD> to inflict their WantonSexualUrges Upon 
 DJD> InnocentWholeSomeFamilyOrientNiceGirls!
 DJD> 
 DJD> 

Gosh,  I'll have to make the next woman I sleep with doesn't have an
orgasm....


 * Origin: The Human Race Is Still In Beta Testing! (1:391/1040.0)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: scs@iti.org (Steve Simmons)
Subject: Re: Churchill quotes wanted
Organization: Industrial Technology Institute
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 15:27:05 GMT

dudleyr@.alleg.edu (GRUB) writes:

>In article <bogus.702076414@milton> bogus@milton.u.washington.edu (Young and Wealthy) writes:
>> Could some one post a good complete quotes by Winston Churchill?
>> Thanks.

>	Said to Churchill at a party late one night by a stuufy Englishwoamn of some importance:
>		"Sir, you are a drunken bastard and a fool!"
>	Chruchill's response:  "And you Madam, are ugly, however, I shall be sober in the mnorning"

Yeesh, how things change in the telling.  "The Last Lion", an excellent
bio of Churchill, collects a number of these in the first chapter.  The
following is from memory, but very close:

During the blitz, the Allies had cracked the german Enigma code.  Churchill
knew from the decoded dispatches what what going to hit London when, but
to act on that knowledge would alert the germans.  They would change the
code, and the Allies would have nothing.  It was therefore decided to
reserve the enigma decodings for items of greater military importance.
Churchill felt great guilt over this, and reacted by drinking a great
deal.  One evening at a formal function, Lady Astor remarked to him:

"You, sir, are drunk."

He replied "You, madam, are ugly.  In the morning, I shall be sober."


Some other stories from the book:


During a heated debate in Parliament, a new MP used language to Churchill
which was beyond the bounds of polite debate.  Churchill did and said
nothing, but after the debate members of the new MPs party convinced him
that he had committed a wrong and would have to apologize.  The MP went
to Churchills home.  Churchill was on the toilet when his butler informed
him the young MP was at the door.  His response: "Tell him to wait; I
can only take one shit at a time."


Lady Astor and Churchill will fairly friendly rivals in both politics
and wit.  One evening she observed "Winston, if you were my husband
I'd put poison in your soup."  "Madam," he replied, "if I were your
husband I'd drink it."


On the other hand, Clement Atlee got (and deserved) no respect from
Churchill.  He once commented "An empty carriage drove up to Parliament,
and Clement Atlee emerged."


One afternoon in the parliamentary bathroom Clement Atlee was making
use of a urinal.  Churchill entered, spotted Atlee, and went to the
urinal furthest from him.  "Come come, Winston, surely we can put
aside our differences here."  "That's not it at all," said Churchill,
"but whenever you see anything healthy and glossy you want to nationalize
it."
-- 
 "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are crunchy and taste
  good with ketchup."  seen on a button, author unknown
From: snail@lsl.co.uk
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Date: 8 Apr 92 17:53:11 GMT
Organization: Laser-Scan Ltd., Cambridge

In article <1992Apr6.050819.9630@pellns.alleg.edu>, guptaa@.alleg.edu (Godfather) writes:
> In article <1992Apr6.015853.18216@cs.tu-berlin.de>  writes:
> |In article <goVRiB1w164w@bluemoon.rn.com> dougger@bluemoon.rn.com (Doug Stevenson) writes:
> |>dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Korth) writes:
> |>
> |>> In <3235@equinox.unr.edu> schnell@pyramid.unr.edu (Dan Schnell) writes:
> |>> 
> |>> >I've told you once...
> |>> 
> |>> No, you haven't.
> |>Yes I have.
> |No, you haven't.
> I  H A V E!!!
Times Up! You'll have to pay me more money if you want to argue some more.
I'm sorry, but your times up. Next!
===== Yes, it's meant to be a snail, I speak only for myself and my snail =====
===== not for Laser Scan.                                                 =====
                                                              *      *
Stephen Kellett                                _______         \    /
Software Engineer                            --   ___ --        \  /  
Laser Scan Ltd                              (    _   __ )      ======
Science Park                               (    (  |   ) )    =      =
Milton Road                                (     (_)    ))   =  *  *  =
Cambridge CB4 4FS                           (           )  ==   .  .  =
England                                      --       --===      ..  =
snail@lsl.co.uk                              ==_______             ==
(+44) 223 420414 ex 275              ========                  ====   
                          ===========                      ====      [ ]BEER
                       ====================================          | |CIDER
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: guptaa@.alleg.edu (Godfather)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Date: 8 Apr 92 03:38:55 GMT
Organization: Allegheny College

In article <1992Apr8.013911.8770@en.ecn.purdue.edu> paladin@en.ecn.purdue.edu (Robert Wen) writes:
*In article <1992Apr7.233817.7634@news.Hawaii.Edu> tholen@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Dave Tholen)  
writes:
*>>|>>>>> >I've told you once...
*>>|>>>>> No, you haven't.
*>>|>>>>Yes I have.
*>>|>>>No, you haven't.
*>>|>>I'm sorry but your time is up, That will be $5.
*>>|>What?!?  That was never five minutes!
*>>|I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
*>
*>Oh all right.  Here you are.  [pause]  Well?
*
*Well, what?
Well, I just gave you the money, so argue.



--
<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>
        			~~~~~~~~~guptaa@alleg.edu~~~~~~~~~~~
     o				My friends call me ______..in a nutshell.
 ___/(\/	I call myself a spaced out wasted entity existing in an
     <\		astract reality of unreal proportions.......	 
     " "......Touche pussycat!!
From: kallen@cs.utk.edu (Karl Allen)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: First thing let's do...
Date: 7 Apr 92 17:16:41 GMT
Organization: University of Tennessee, Knoxville - CS Department
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: duncan.cs.utk.edu
Originator: kallen@duncan.cs.utk.edu

Is kill all the lawyers. <See, Shakespear's cooler than you thought!>

Yesterday I saw one of those 'Lawyer for Hire:Will Sue Anyone!' ads
on television. In this one, though, there was a line that just got 
to me. It went like this:
  "If you've been injured on the job, it's an income you've earned."  

So I geuss if you do something foolish, like say cut off your finger 
with a power saw, relax! You've *earned* income for the rest of your
life. Nice work ethic there. 

Anybody else got some good lawyer advertisement quotes? I can hardly
believe that East Tennessee has the most creative sewer-dwellers <oops!
I mean lawyers> in the country. 

Wondering whatever happened to 'Act of God'
I remain, 
Karl Allen
kallen@cs.utk.edu

Newsgroups: alt.sex.wizards,rec.humor
From: jayu@screech.owlnet.rice.edu (Jaydip Tilak Vashi)
Subject: Re: Naughty Disney Jokes
Organization: Rice University
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 10:33:13 GMT

In article <1992Apr7.030045.27438@usenet.ins.cwru.edu>, roll@skybridge.SCL.CWRU.Edu (Kevin 'Rat' Roll) writes:
> In article <lcnj7cp@lynx.unm.edu> evilted@vesta.unm.edu (The Semi-Christ) writes:
> 
> >Ok, Mickey Mouse goes to his lawyer and tells him he wants to divorce
> >......
> 
> Of course you've heard that Snow White was fired from Disneyland. She
> threw Pinocchio on the ground, sat on his face, and screamed "Lie to me!
> Lie to me!"


Q: What is red and has seven little dents?
A: Snow White's cherry.


Jay Vashi

WE ARE RU?
From: mlahsaie@supernet.dallas.haus.com (Mithra Lahsaie)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: April fool's day jokes?
Date: 9 Apr 92 22:58:29 GMT
Organization: Harris Adacom Corporation

American Airlines changed some of its welcome signs in San Diego airport to
read "Welcome to Chicago".
From: tcws@convex1.tcs.tulane.edu (Bill Sirinek)
Subject: Re: Sam Kinison is DEAD???????????
Organization: Tulane University, New Orleans, LA
Distribution: usa
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1992 23:41:35 GMT
Nntp-Posting-Host-[nntpd-15061]: convex1.tcs.tulane.edu

In article <1992Apr11.191606.10721@cheshire.oxy.edu> cleo@cheshire.oxy.edu (Cleopatra) writes:
>
>
>When the heck did Sam Kinison die? I had no clue.
>                                    -Cleopatra

I'm sure you will get a billion replies, but Sam Kinison died Friday night
in a car crash in Needles, California. He was struck head on by a drunken
17-year old... his wife (of 6 days) was with him, she is in the hospital
in serious condition. Its a real shame, Ill definitely miss him. Just one
week before his death, he had a concert here at Tulane University....


--
| Bill Sirinek                     Snail: Box 3799, Tulane University     |
| Computer Science Major                  New Orleans, LA 70118           |
| Tulane University               BITNET: tcws000@tcsmusa                 |
| New Orleans, Louisiana        Internet: tcws@convex1.tcs.tulane.edu     |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: st17y@rosie.uh.edu (Belding, Troy C.)
Subject: Tongue Twisters (was Re:tounge twisters)
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 21:05:00 GMT

Here's a good oldie.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll get a life when it is proven          Troy C. Belding
and substantiated to be better             ST17Y@JETSON.UH.EDU
than what I am currently                   HSSM@MENUDO.UH.EDU
experiencing.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------




Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: c315-30@cs.UAlberta.CA (Gerald Oskoboiny)
Subject: Re: Blond Joke (encoded)
Organization: University of Alberta, Edmonton, Canada
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 08:58:15 GMT

chris@iowegia.uucp (Chris Lyons) writes:

>How does a blond part her hair?
>
>She spreads her legs.

Can someone please tell me how to decode this?

--
Gerald
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: flick@sdd.hp.com (Bill Flick)
Subject: List of : -)
Reply-To: flick@sdd.hp.com (Bill Flick)
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, San Diego Division
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 19:54:19 GMT

Apparently my first request is still out there trying to find a home. So, a 
repeat. 

I, as many have before me, have lost the list of smiles/frowns. I thought I had
it protected, but ...... If some kind soul would email me a copy  I would be
forever grateful. I promise that this time they will be locked away and safe.

Thanx in advance...


B. 8>)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: tony@nexus.yorku.ca (Tony Wallis)
Subject: Re: Blond Joke (encoded)
Organization: York University
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 02:23:47 GMT

Gerald Oskoboiny (c315-30@cs.UAlberta.CA) wonders about 
>  > How does a blond part her hair?
>  > She spreads her legs.
> Can someone please tell me how to decode this?

Maybe it's an example of pubic-key encryption.

--
tony@nexus.yorku.ca = Tony Wallis, York University, Toronto, Canada
From: CWL103@psuvm.psu.edu (Chad Lucas)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Humorous euphamisms for screwing...
Date: 13 Apr 92 03:43:08 GMT
 <1992Apr11.004716.2246@ultra.com>
Organization: HAM - Hackers Against MUDs
X-Subliminal-Message: IBM/370 assembler is your friend.

I got a few for ya....
                      Slappin' the Johnson around....
                      Beating around the Bush....
                      Givin' the Dog a bone....
                                       ___
+------------------------------------ |   \ -------------------+
|    CWL103@PSUVM.PSU.EDU             | |\ \                   |
| If It's Too Loud....You're Too Old  |_|/ /_                  |
|                                       /__  |                 |
|                                          | |OCKFORD FOSGATE  |
| A PASSION FOR PERFORMANCE--              | |                 |
+------------------------------------------ \| ----------------+
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: wedge@bnr.ca (Rick Wedge)
Subject: Re: A lost riddle!
Reply-To: wedge@bnr.ca (Rick Wedge)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.
Date: Tue, 07 Apr 92 13:55:19 GMT

In article <11176@ksr.com>, tdh@ksr.com (Dave Hudson) writes:
|> > What's the first number in the English language that uses the letter
|> > "A"?
|> 
|> We'll play a background number while you figure out what newsgroup
|> you should have posted this to.  The song is called "Primarily".
|> An'aone, an'atwo, ...
|> 
|> (N)AUGHT!
|> 
|> 				David Hudson

I beg to differ but who says that zero is the first number?  How about 
-1000 (negative one thousAnd)?  That's much smaller than zero.  How about
-100,000?  Why do you assume that some arbitrary starting point in the 
middle of the number system is first?  

I claim there is no first number with the letter 'A'.  It's like trying to 
point to the begining of a circle.

No fancy sig.

Rick
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ratner@ficus.cs.ucla.edu (David Ratner)
Subject: Re: Humorous euphamisms for screwing...
Organization: UCLA, Computer Science Department
Date:  9 Apr 92 19:53:08 GMT

sly9y@cc.usu.edu writes:

>In article <1992Apr09.011847.2052@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu>, ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Eric Huppertz) writes:
>> Does anyone have any humorous euphamisms for "doing the nasty?"
>> Here are a few I can think of for starters:
>> 
>> The Mattress Mambo
>> The Horizontal Hucklebuck
>> A Poke in the Whiskers
>> The Tubestick Boogie 
>Mattress marathon
>playing hide the salami

>> 
>> and my personal favorite (and original, too!):
>> Hiding the Hooded Hodad. 

Sausage in the Steam Box
Making the Naked Pretzel  (courtesy of Cheers)
Waxing the Pole

--
* *  ***  *     *    |   Dave Ratner
* *  *    *    * *  / \  ratner@cs.ucla.edu
* *  *    *    ***  \ /  "When you seek it, you cannot find it"
***  ***  ***  * *   |	 			- ancient Zen riddle
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bond@jupiter.sun.csd.unb.ca (GIRISH)
Subject: How to admit mistakes?
Organization: University of New Brunswick, Fredericton, Canada.
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 20:56:23 GMT


Never, ever say : "I fell asleep in class".

Instead say : "Notwithstanding the scintillating repartage concomitant
to this scholastic assemblage, intransigent preternatural biological
functions conspired to surmount my fragile resolve, plunging conscious-
ness beneath my direct autonomy and thus insuring a rapid decline into
somnolency".

(Taken from "The Ultimate Student handbook" by Alice and Steve lawhead.)

Girish.

-------------------------------------------
"There are two sides to every question,
 as long as you don't care about the issue".
====================================================================
| Girish Bonde,               |  Voice: (506) 450-6019 (R)         |
| Department of Civil Engg,   |         (506) 453-4558 (O)         |
| University of New Brunswick,|    Fax: (506) 453-3568 (O)         |
| Fredericton, N.B.           | Bitnet: bond@unbmvs1               |
| E3B 5A3, CANADA.            | Usenet: bond@jupiter.sun.csd.unb.ca|
====================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: walt@unhsst.unh.edu (Walter R. Trachim)
Subject: Re: Yet Another License Plate
Organization: University of New Hampshire  -  Durham, NH
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 16:34:45 GMT

>>I once knew a urologist whose plate read:
>>
>>DICDOC
>
>How about:
>
>2PCME
>
I like the plate I have:  NFNTRY
				-- A gift from my mother-in-law regarding my
				(then) military affiliation. do you think she
				was trying to tell me something? :-)

-- 
   **************************************************************************
   *                           Walter R. Trachim                            *   
   *  University of New Hampshire - Telecommunications and Network Services *
   *               Telecommunications Center, Durham, NH 03824              *
   *		   Phone: 603-862-4742       Fax: 603-862-2030              *
   *  Internet E-mail: walt@unhsst.unh.edu   Local DECnet: UNHH::W_TRACHIM  *
   **************************************************************************
From: cary@acuson.com (Cary Farrier)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Intel Ad shows static-proof CPU! : -)
Date: 8 Apr 92 14:02:07 GMT
Organization: Acuson; Mountain View, California

dmckeon@hydra.unm.edu (Denis McKeon) writes:
>There is an Intel ad on pages 10 and 11 of the April 13 Newsweek (USA
>news-stand edition) that shows two Van de Graaf generators on either
>side of an i486 (tm) with dual "lightning" paths jumping between them. 
>Caption reads: "The affordable power source for today's software."

They even animate them on the TV version of the ad.  I see it on ABC
news every morning sometime between 5 and 5:30 am.  The funny part
about the TV ad is that they say that with the i486 you can
"run your programs at the speed of light"!  Uh huh.  So that means
it will take about 8 minutes for my code to get from here to the sun,
that's pretty good, they should go into the modem business :-).

>Denis                                   Good.   Fast.   Cheap.
>dmckeon@hydra.unm.edu                       Pick two.

-- Cary
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Politicians in general
From: dlovely@desire.wright.edu (Captain Chaos)
Date: 17 Apr 92 12:56:19 EST
Reply-To: dlovely@desire.wright.edu

Little girl to Daddy:  Do all fairy taies begin with "Once upon a time..."?
Daddy to little girl:  No, honey, some begin with "If I'm elected..."


--
******************************************************************************* Captain Chaos 				"This is a .44 Magnum, the most         Wright State University		powerful handgun in the world. It'll    Computer Science & Engineering		blow your head clean
 off!"              Dayton, Ohio				  - Clint Eastwood, "Dirty Harry"       *******************************************************************************
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Monday, 13 Apr 1992 12:49:48 EDT
From: <MTG112@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Humorous euphamisms for screwing...

Of course we can't forget:

      doing the nasty
      pop the peanuts
      gettin' a little jack horner action
           and
      'Heather Locklear is magically delicious; she'd give a dog a bone.'--
                                    Wayne 'Nibblet' Campbell
READ THE BOOK!!!

Matt
From: futrena@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Foghorn quote
Date: 15 Apr 92 18:00:03 GMT
Article-I.D.: wkuvx1.1992Apr15.130003.1346
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY


	Yet another Foghorn Leghorn quote.

   "You gotta keep your eye on the ball.  <sudden realization>  Eye.  Ball.
Eyeball.  Ah made a funny.  Joke, that is."


Nathan
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Monday, 6 Apr 1992 11:50:54 MST
From: <C9M5R@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: WHAT IS THE REST OF LIMERICK

On Three's Company (remember w/John Ritter?), there was a limerick he
was about to say.  The beginning of it went something like this:

There was a girl from Nantucket,
...........
...........

After that Jack was interrupted.  Was there one in existence?
The impression that I got was that it should not be said in public.
If anyone knows anything about it; let alone knows how the limerick
goes, please post it.  I'm rather curious....

Blair....
From: drothar@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (the Omniscient)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: CLOSE
Date: 8 Apr 92 16:27:58 GMT
Article-I.D.: darkstar.32375
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz; Open Access Computing


In article <1992Apr4.072000.18@vax001.kenyon.edu> toney@vax001.kenyon.edu writes:
> "By the way, 'Two-Dogs-Making-Love', why did
> you ask?"     [please note: I cleaned this one up a bit]

This reminds me of an observation a certain comedian made [I forget who] about
the movie "Dances With Wolves" - apparently [I've never seen the movie myself,
so don't flame me if I'm mistaken] Kevin Costner was named "Dancing-with-wolves"
because, as the comedian said, "that's what the Indians found him doing."

"Perhaps if they had gotten there half an hour earlier, the movie would have
 been called 'Wiping With Leaves'."

Well, it was funny at the time.
Newsgroups: rec.humor