HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Terrifying Twinkies (was Re: The Big Pot o
Date: 24 Jan 93 22:31:43 GMT
Organization: Famed Parquet Floor

In article <1993Jan24.200906.11402@bmw.mayo.edu> tcg@mayo.edu writes:
>
>Twinkies seem to have some very interesting properties and effects.
>I couldn't find it anywhere in Brundvand's books and I don't remember seeing it
>in the FAQ;
>Is anything true about the story concerning somebody pleading "temporarily diminished
>responsibility" due to "twinkies intoxication" in a murder case?
>
In November of 1978, San Francisco supervisor Dan White resigned his
position.  He changed his mind, and mayor William Moscone wouldn't
give him his job back.

White responded by sneaking into City Hall by a side door (to get
his weapon past the metal detectors) and shooting Moscone and supervisor
Harvey Milk to death.

White's lawyers asserted that his ingestion of Twinkies has diminished
his capacity to determine right from wrong.  The prosecution muddled
the case, and White was convicted of manslaughter rather than murder.

White was out of jail a few years later, and was surprised to find that
his former cronies in the police and fire departments did not accept
him as a returning hero.  He gassed himself to death in his garage
shortly thereafter.

Good fucking riddance.


-- 
|play: phil@rahul.net
|work: (Under Construction)              | Phil Gustafson 408-286-1749      |
|         Opinions outside attributed material are mine alone.              |
|        Satirical matter is not necessarily identified as such.            |
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.food.cooking,rec.food.restaurants
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: The Big Pot of Grease (was: Re: Furr's Cafeterias (Was: Re: Who Kresg
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 93 15:40:37 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <28478@dog.ee.lbl.gov> TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan) writes:
>C521832@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu wrote:
>
>  [Hamburger joint in Memphis, TN w/unchanged 80+ yr old grease]
>
>moroney@world.std.com (Michael Moroney) writes:
>
>  [European joints with "500 yr old stew"]
>  
>jlpicard@austin.ibm.com writes:
>
>  +I've heard (from a Chem Prof. at U of I Chicago who came over from 
>  +mainland China in the '40s) that there are several places in China
>  +that claim to have soup stock that is over 1000 years old. They just
>  +keep adding water...
>
>This might help explain some of the diseases such as hepatitis 
>that span generations.

I find it difficult to believe that any inimical bugs would
thrive in a *simmering* liquid.

Let us try to avoid being *too* silly, hmmmm?

>And elsewhere in the US, I believe this was supposed to be the
>way to make good chili in the southwest.

The best way to make chili, or nearly any other soup or stew is
to cook it up, let it sit overnight in the fridge, heat it
through again, let it sit again, heat it and start eating.

Almost every stew or soup tastes better as it gets older, 
though none of mine have ever lasted more than a week.

Charles

SWM, 27 6'4", Handsome as Young God at Dawn of Time, Already
found my SO, however...
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Jesus' Birthday
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 19:54:33 GMT

In article <lm0dm8INN95c@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden) writes:
>(Did you ever notice how humor loses something when you explain it?)

Twain (or was it Disraeli?) once said dissecting humor is like dissecting 
a frog.  Once you fry the legs a bit, they taste just like chicken.  No, 
wait, that can't be it...

>The four Prefix brothers: Yocto, Zepto, Atto, and Femto 

Ted "and sometimes Gummo" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Bambi meets Godzilla.
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 20:40:02 GMT

In article <1993Jan27.104452.63247@cc.usu.edu> slb3y@cc.usu.edu (Punk Rocketeer) writes:
>     It's also available on some copies of "Godzilla 1985" as an
>introductory short.  I don't recall seeing it billed on the box when I
>last rented it, but I'm fairly sure I've rented Bambi-free copies of
>such in the past.

Question: why would anyone rent "Godzilla 1985" multiple times?

Ted 'that big of a raymond burr fan?' Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: smith+@cs.cmu.edu (Sean Smith)
Subject: Internet Coke (a history)
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 18:35:03 GMT



From:

25th Anniversary Symposium, Computer Science at CMU: A Commemorative Review.
Pittsburgh: Reed and Witting Company, 1990.

p. 70: ``Serious Coke Addiction.''  By Craig Everhart, Eddie Caplan, Robert
	Frederking.

Reprinted WITH permission (an AFU first?)

******

The Computer Science Department was, and perhaps still is, Cameron
Coca-Cola's single largest vending machine customer.  The Coke machine was
run by volunteer efforts...

	(history of the private machine, and hassles with the university.
	Things began to stabilize in 1981...)

The only problem with the Coke machine was that after trekking down to buy
something it was found to be either empty or newly-filled (and there are
few more revolting substances than warm Coke; ideally it is served just above
freezing).  John Zsarney (and possibly Lawrence Butcher---history is a bit
muddled here) created an interface between the six little ``empty'' lights
and a serial port.  These lights would flash when a bottle was dispensed and
would stay lit when a column was empty.  Mike Kazar programmed a server
machine to track the time of the last transition for each column.  Mike and
Dave Nichols put together a simple network protocol by which any machine on
the local Ethernet (and eventually on the Internet) could probe the current
status of the Coke machine.  Dave wrote the program that printed out the
length of time since each column had been totally empty.  Ivor Durham wrote
the ``Finger'' server so that if you fingered the user ``coke'' you would
get the status of the columns.  One of the most-used Perq/Canvas
applications displayed the coldness as an array of bar graphs in the same
layout as the selector buttons on the machine itself.  In addition, to 
guarantee ``cold'' Coke, the last two bottles in any column would not be
dispensed.  This phenomenon was also tracked by the program, so it would
report ``cold'' columns after a column had been refilled, until those two
bottles had been dispensed.

In 1990, Eddie Caplan and Steve Berman resurrected the hardware and
software, and found the M&M machine interface designed by Mark Zaremsky and
Mark Wilkins.  The software written in 1985 by David Nichols and Ivor Durham
still worked.  The system which now monitors the COke machine and the M&M
Machine is known as the ``junk food server.''


******************************************************************************
                         sean.smith@cs.cmu.edu
                     carnegie mellon computer science

          posting from PITTSBURGH, the center of the AFUniverse!
******************************************************************************
From: tmcbraye@thor.ece.uc.edu (Tim McBrayer)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Clinton's no Jefferson! (was: AMUSING SIGNS)
Date: 27 Jan 93 16:02:43 GMT
Organization: University of Cincinnati

In article <1993Jan27.012330.15174@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>,
PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes about Thomas Jefferson:

|> Hell, look at his age.  The guy would be what: 240,250 years old?
                                                  ^^^^^^^
I had no idea the War for Independence was so long ago.

Tim "Thomas Jefferson was a Cro-Magnon" McBrayer
-- 
Tim McBrayer					       tmcbraye@thor.ece.uc.edu
Computer Architecture Design Laboratory                (513) 556-0904
University of Cincinnati
From: Terry.Smith@f870.n800.z3.fidonet.org (Terry Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Seven-footers in Volkswagens
Date: Tue, 19 Jan 1993 03:14:12

 TR> Have no idea about the truth of the UL, but I do know that this gag
 TR> was used in one of the Police Academy movies with Bubba Smith.  He
 TR> tries to get into a subcompact, tears out the front seat, and drives
 TR> while sitting in the back. I suspect this may be the origin.  And as
 TR> you point out, why would anyone want to in the first place?

    ObUl Any skit in a recent Hollywood comedy is 'original'. 
Terry


 * Origin: Elizabeth Park BBS (3:800/870.0)

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.california
From: barth@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (barth.richards)
Subject: Re: Mike Cooper was Jesus' name (was Re: Late breaking potential UL!)
Organization: AT&T
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 19:22:59 GMT


In article <1993Jan21.070433.29299@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> kkoller@nyx.cs.du.edu
(Capt. Sarcastic) writes:

>Let's say an idiot (like myself) posts something really really incorrect.
>How many years does it take the thread to die?
>
>Just curious.

             2
       E = mc


where:

E   is the total energy or momentum imparted to the thread.

m   is how monumentally stupid the original post was.

c   is the universal constant (the number of pizzas the thread
    participants order when the thread is about to go to lightspeed).


Barth "will travel faster than light for pizza" Richards

-- 
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
88  Barth Richards                  "Language is a virus from outer space."  88
88  att!ihlpf!barth                           - William S. Burroughs         88
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
From: derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: ulegends in the media
Date: 25 Jan 93 01:32:02 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand

In article <lltn6jINN4ba@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden) writes:
>> The UL didn't come up until another guest made a joke about Rivera
>> being dead. It then came out that Rivera gets many odd looks on the
>> street from people who think they are looking at a ghost. 
>
>This phenomenon (resurrection) is apparently more common than people
>think.   Other people who have experienced this include:
>               Jack Christ (Bethlehem, PA)
>               Cindy Kandolf (Trondheim)

And 

                Elvis (Gracelane/7-11)

Derek "Elvis hates birthday parties" Tearne


-- 
Derek Tearne.   --   derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz   --    Fujitsu New Zealand   -- 
 _______
 _______} This is a Usenet Condom<tm>.  Roll the condom over the .signature 
	  file before posting to protect yourself from .sig retro-virii
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: stame@emunix.emich.edu (Stewart Tame)
Subject: Re: Terrifying Twinkies (was Re: The Big Pot o
Organization: Eastern Michigan University
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 00:23:00 GMT

In article <1993Jan24.200906.11402@bmw.mayo.edu> tcg@mayo.edu writes:
>
>Twinkies seem to have some very interesting properties and effects.
>I couldn't find it anywhere in Brundvand's books and I don't remember seeing it
>in the FAQ;
>Is anything true about the story concerning somebody pleading "temporarily diminished
>responsibility" due to "twinkies intoxication" in a murder case?
>

Dan White.  Yup.  He shot the then-mayor of San Francisco and one other
person.  At the trial he used the infamous Twinkie Defense and what's more,
the jury let him go . . . 

		-- Stewart "Believe it or Not" Tame

****************************************************************************
 I understand it's obligatory to mention Kibo somewhere in one's postings.
****************************************************************************
		Email:  stame@emunix.emich.edu
****************************************************************************
Disclaimer:  Not only do my opinions represent those of Eastern Michigan
University, but also those of Dan Quayle, Richard Nixon, Frank Zappa,
Pee-wee Herman, Bart Simpson, Tipper Gore, Murphy Brown, Maggie Thatcher,
and the Easter Bunny.
From: JTCHEW@lbl.gov (Ad absurdum per aspera)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: AFU West V
Date: 22 Jan 93 19:33:55 GMT
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban
Organization: Honest Ernie's Used Ions
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.252.153

TF>> It seems I'll have to hold out for AFU West VI.
DL> Isn't that the one where Kirk and McCoy are sent to the Klingon prison
camp?

It's the one where Bill Nelson torpedoes an incorrect belief while cloaked,
but then no one can figure out how to do it again.
 
Joe "Or was that on Battlestar Galactica?" Chew
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Yet More Microwave Stuff
Date: 25 Jan 1993 13:35:37 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 2799@eagle.ukc.ac.uk, dmp1@ukc.ac.uk (D.M.Procida) writes:
> Here's a worthwhile twist on the poodle-in-the-microwave stories:
> [pig not in a blanket story deleted]

I read in _Sunset_ magazine this weekend that there is an extermination
company that kills termites by putting a microwave emitter against your
wall and baking them right inside the wall.

Brian "20 minutes at 375 -- do not overcook" Scearce
---
Brian Scearce                                           bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
              The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
                  "You can't fit the truth on a t-shirt, man."
                                 "That'd fit."
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Jesus' birthday
Date: 29 Jan 93 02:31:25 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1993Jan18.172302.29686@acuson.com> lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson) writes:
>In article <25073@galaxy.ucr.edu> judson@watserv.ucr.edu writes:
>>Wasn't Jesus really born in March?
>>
>
>[Since we can't get this stuff out of AFU]
>
>It is generally held to be in the spring, the time when shepards watch
>over their flocks by night (lambing season).  I don't know that the
>date is much clearer than that.


I read a long time ago that astronomers decided to figure out when
the famous Star in the East occurred. They judged it to be a conjuction
of many planets, which certainly would shine very brightly. This
placed JC's birthday in March. For some fuzzy reason, I recall he
was born in 3-9 "BC". I don't have access to astronomical tables that
could bear me out on this. Perhaps someone who does could look for
major planetary conjuctions that may have occurred 1993 years ago.

ER
--
Great apes are ok. It's the mediocre apes and the baboons and especially
the lemurs that are trouble.
 	-Henry Troup (alt.folklore.urban)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: Jesus freaks and the return of the grand patriarch.
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 02:45:00 GMT

cmriggin@iastate.edu (C. Marie Riggins) writes:
>Possibly from the Moonies though. ;)
>
>Marie :)
>--
>| C. Marie Riggins         | "There is no such thing as a bad boy.  There is
>| Iowa State University    | only bad environment, bad training, bad example,
>| cmriggin@iastate.edu     | bad thinking."    --Fr. Edward J. Flanagan
>| imyself@cwis.unomaha.edu |                     founder: Boys Town, NE

FAQ writes:

>A note to new readers:  the weasely :-) symbol is frowned upon in this
>group.  Any questions, see Phil Gustafson who will gladly rearrange your
>diodes for you (and charge you two-fifty for it).

Watch out for Phil in Iowa, C. Marie.

By the way, are you related to that football player who threw
up on justice O'Conner?

Jon "bad environment, bad training, bad example, bad thinking" Papai
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:34799 alt.discordia:782 alt.slack:3912 alt.california:2392
From: lightnin@beech.WPI.EDU (Derek G Bacon)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.california
Subject: Re: Mike Cooper was Jesus' name (was Re: Late breaking potential UL!)
Date: 25 Jan 93 16:09:28
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute, Worcester, MA 01609-2280
	<1993Jan21.070433.29299@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
	<1jpnndINNa1v@pith.uoregon.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: beech.wpi.edu
In-reply-to: delancey@darkwing.uoregon.edu's message of 22 Jan 93 21:07:57 GMT

22 Jan 93 21:07:57 GMT, delancey@darkwing.uoregon.edu (Scott C DeLancey) said:

delancey> Let's say a group of demented primates (not me, brother)
delancey> broadcast old episodes of I Love Lucy, and the signal pulses
delancey> off into Deep Space--how many light years must it travel
delancey> before it can no longer evoke laughter?

42?  Hey, it fits.  It has some sort of deep resonance.  It even, somewhat,
fits my rather warped view of life.  I kind of like it.  This is a keeper.

-lightnin

    /| Lightning: (n) A Force of Nature consisting of an electric discharge.
   / |_Virtual Enterprises, GmbH: Bureaucracy Inaction! 
  /_  /=======================================================================
   / / |Up the long ladder, and down the short rope,       |Email: 
  / /_ |to Hell with King Billy, and God bless the Pope,   |lightnin
 /_  / |if that doesn't do, we'll tear him in two,         |@wpi.wpi.edu
  / /  |and send him to Hell with his red, white, and blue.|__________________
 / /   |                                    -Traditional Irish Children's Song
/ /===========================================================================
|/ "Dark is not one of my favorite colors." -Ralph, the All Purpose Animal.
From: gksmith@mcl.cc.utexas.edu (Glenn Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Is Sleeping EAST to WEST better?
Date: 28 Jan 1993 18:14:54 GMT
Organization: University of Texas Computation Center
NNTP-Posting-Host: corwin.cc.utexas.edu

A friend and I were discussing the arrangement of my bed room, when he
mentioned that it was better to arrange my bed facing from east to west,
instead of north to south.  When I asked why, he said it had to do with
the magnetic poles and fields.  Sleeping east to west means you lay
across the fields, and thus sleep better.  As far has he knew, it didn't
matter which direction your head was (east or west), just as long as
your body was perpendicular to the magnetic fields.

Is there any truth to this?  His cousin told him the story.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Glenn Smith                                       University of Texas
gksmith@mcl.cc.utexas.edu                         Computation Center
(512) 471-3241                                 Microcomputer Technologies
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: Amusing street names
Organization: The Ohio State University
 <22JAN199315202805@ariel.lerc.nasa.gov>
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 23:56:59 GMT

oberle@ariel.lerc.nasa.gov (Larry Oberle) writes:

>Besides that, Cleveland is THE birthplace of Superman.

Besides that, Cleveland is THE birthplace of Czechoslovakia.

-J.
From: prener@watson.ibm.com (Dan Prener)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Cuttin' the Rug
Date: 24 Jan 93 07:23:23 GMT
	<1993Jan23.160939.21828@samba.oit.unc.edu>
	<1993Jan23.161915.17645@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
	<23JAN199316485427@csa3.lbl.gov>
Organization: IBM T.J. Watson Research Center, Hawthorne, New York
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM

In article <23JAN199316485427@csa3.lbl.gov> jtchew@csa3.lbl.gov (Ad absurdum per aspera) writes:

> > Factoid, fictionoid, or UL?  Islamic artists and artisans (including rug
> > makers, weavers, knotters, whatever) deliberately include an error in
> > their product in recognition of the fact that only Allah is perfect.

> But if only Allah is perfect, does that not imply categorically
> that humans are imperfect, thereby obviating the need to
> deliberately include an error?  In fact, would it not be 
> blasphemy to do so because it implies that you would have 
> achieved perfection otherwise?

But even in AFU, shouldn't some sense of proportion remain?  Producing a
pattern without an error does not make an artisan perfect.  Deliberately
introducing an error might, however, keep him humble.
--
                                   Dan Prener (prener@watson.ibm.com)
From: JTCHEW@lbl.gov (Ad absurdum per aspera)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: John Denver (Re: Snipers at Stalingrad)
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban
Date: 21 Jan 1993 19:04:09 GMT
Organization: Honest Ernie's Used Ions
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.252.153

> Can someone older tell me when the US started sending troops to Viet
> Nam?  1963?

I think the very, very first "military advisors" were sent there in small
numbers in 1959, but significant escalation did not occur until late in
the Kennedy administration, circa 1963, and our presence really
mushroomed under LBJ in about 1965.  Best to browse the old
copies of Time Magazine or somesuch for accurate information.

As for John Denver, the folk singer, being a Marine sniper... Sheesh!
Unless he has led a double life of Kim Philby proportions, I have some
trouble just picturing him holding onto the correct end of a rifle.

Joe "I wasn't there and wouldn't have inhaled anyway" Chew
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Terrifying Twinkies (was Re: The Big Pot of Grease)
From: andrewb@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Andrew Bevin)
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 21:47:32 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand - Software Development Center

In article <C1J1tE.Go0@rahul.net> phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson) writes:
>
>A few years ago PBS had a show demonstrating how snack foods were
>designed.  Truly scary.  They gave rebuttal time to Julia Child.
>
>Phil "Indirect references are intentional. 'Hostess' and 'Twinkie'
>are trademarks of some damned conglomerate." Gustafson

I agree,

Watching Julia Child can be a truly scary experience. The way that woman uses
cleavers would make a hardened butcher chringe. 

-- 
Andrew Bevin      			                     andrewb@icl.co.nz
SDC, Fujitsu New Zealand                      ## I do not speak for Fujitsu! ##
Auckland, New Zealand   
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban