Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk (Clive Grace)
Subject: No subject 
Reply-To: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 17:05:00 +0000

Bisexual Invisibility in the Blue Moon Cafe
I know this subject comes out on the net every now and  then, but I 
discovered an interesting feeling when I went to the Blue Moon Cafe 
in Edinburgh with one of my lovers. She and I were stitting -- 
clearly enjoying each other's company when I became aware of "funny 
looks" -- nothing more than that, no sneering, no bad words, nothing 
outright *bad* per se, but just a feeling that we were out of place.

Indeed, the feeling was strongly akin to the first time I went into a 
gay bar and ordered a drink all by myself. It felt odd and I felt 
nervous -- aak, I can't be feeling internalised homophobia can I? Not 
after all this time.

Now the Blue Moon to those that haven't been there is no stranger to 
Bisexuals, the EBG meets there every Thursday (how did today's 
workshop go BTW?) and it's a friendly place, with lots of nice 
people. Unusually for me I was wearing black everything -- black 
lycra leggings, black slouch socks, black tee shirt and scarf and 
leather jacket -- but white sports shoes, just to contrast a little. 
I sat down ordered my food, my lover ordered hers and we sat holding 
hands -- occasionally stroking a leg or two as we chatted.

I felt, well, *straight*. Not because that was how I was feeling, but 
because that was the way I felt I was being *perceived* -- as a 
heterosexual, or a "failed" gay man... It's hard enough convincing 
the rest of the world that I am Bisexual -- bit it's harder when I 
tell them that I am maintaining two relationships with Bisexual women 
(who both know about each other and are good friends). I know  things 
would have been better if I had worn a badge or a tee shirt 
proclaiming at least some form of queer positivity.

The next day we did the same, except this time I was wearing 
something a little less _outre_ 

We sat with a book each. Mine was a copy of "Closer To Home -- 
Bisexuality and Feminism" and the vibes in the cafe felt fine. I 
immediately had some form of Bisexual visibility (to hide behind?). 
There seemed to be no problem this time, we blended in quite nicely, 
in fact I had a few appreciative smiles and nods from both women and 
men there -- which is always nice (not to mention it being good for 
the ego and the slimmer figure).

Now, I'm not saying what I did was a good thing or a bad thing, but 
it seemed like a good way to diffuse a potential problem -- I'm just 
wondering if this is a common problem with other people here, and how 
many other people find they need some form of explicit identification 
to tell the world that they are GLB -- after all If I'm going to get 
branded, I'd rather get branded as something I am, rather than 
something I'm not -- as it were.

It reminds me of the Tee Shirt or Badge "No one believes I'm a 
Bisexual".

Clive
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| "When I grow up, I want to give up being  |cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk|
| a Journalist and learn how to write..."   |cliveg@cix.compulink.uucp |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+

Newsgroups: soc.culture.italian