From: byonef@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Fred Byon)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime
Subject: BUBBLEGUM TREK PART 1: "We're not in Mega-Tokyo anymore, or are we?"
Date: 8 Sep 92 01:25:21 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center


                                BUBBLEGUM TREK

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

THE KNIGHT SABERS:

Sylia Stingray
Lieutenant JG Priss (will serve on Enterprise)
Linna Yamazaki
Ensign Nene Romanova (also will serve on Enterprise)

GENOM:
 
Largo 

THE BORG (need we say more?)

THE USS MEGA-TOKYO (NCC-2030)

Captain Mackie Stingray IV (The descendant of Sylia's brother) 

THE USS ENTERPRISE (NCC-1701-D)

Captain Jean-Luc Picard
Commander William Riker
Lt. Commander Data
Lt. Worf
Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge
Counselor Deanna Troi
Chief Medical Officer Dr. Beverly Crusher
Ensign Wesley Crusher
Transporter Chief Miles O'Brien
Ensign Ro Lauren

REFERENCE TO THE AD POLICE:

Commodore Jeffrey McNickol (Leon's great-great-great-great grandson)

STARFLEET COMMAND HQ

Admiral Bennett Kyson
Commander Tommy Hwang  

AND SPECIAL GUEST APPEARENCES BY:

Ret. Captain James T. Kirk
Ret. Captain Montgomery Scott
Admiral Leonard "Bones" McCoy

AND NOW ON TO THE STORY!!!!!!!

PART 1:  WE'RE NOT IN MEGA-TOKYO ANYMORE....OR ARE WE?

(SCENE:  Starfleet Command HQ in San Fransisco.  In a rather desolate area of
the Command building, Montgomery Scott is seen working on something with 
several students from Starfleet Academy.  James Kirk walks in the room to
pay a visit)

SCOTTY (suprised):  Ooch!  Ah, Captain Kirk!  Captain Kirk!  What a pleasure
to meet you again!  (Hugs Jim)

KIRK:  Ugh!  Be careful, Scotty.  My body isn't what it was 80 years ago,
y'know.

SCOTTY:  Sorry about that, sir!  So what brings you down here?

KIRK:  Oh, I just wanted to visit.  It's been such a LONG time since I've
been to this building.  This place sure have changed a lot.  As a matter of
fact, a lot of things have changed.

SCOTTY:  I couldn't say it any better, Cap'n!  Yah, things HAVE changed.  
I thought I would never see the day that communicators would be
worn ON the uniform!

KIRK (starts to pace around the room, observing what the Academy cadets are
working on): Uh-huh.  I don't know if I would prefer what it's like today
to what is was a long time ago.  Every year turns out to be a new step for
mankind in some way shape or form.  Today you have Klingons on starships.
Today you have hollydecks...

SCOTTY: HOLOdecks, sir, HOLOdecks.

KIRK: Whatever.  I guess I'm getting way too old now for this century.  
I guess perhaps I'm more used to the "good 'ol days".  Oh well, at least
it's good to know that there's still an Enterprise around.

SCOTTY:  Yah, but a different one.  The Enterprise-D!

KIRK:  Yeah, I noticed that they get bigger and bigger every year.  Anyway,
I sense that my days on Earth will come to a close soon.  I sure wish I could
just...go back in time and do it all over again.

SCOTTY: Me too!  Funny you should bring that up, cap'n, my students are working
on that right now.  

KIRK:  Really?  A time machine?

SCOTTY:  Well, not really.  (points to the machine)  This is what we've been
working on all semester.  It's supposed to bring something back from the
past.  

KIRK:  Does it work?

SCOTTY:  That's the point, cap'n, it's not SUPPOSED to work. 

KIRK:  Then what's the purpose of working on something that won't work?

SCOTTY (smiles):  Ah, y'know, cap'n, they're only Academy cadets, so let their
imaginations run wild every once in a while!  Who knows, maybe this thing WILL
work.  We could bring back a car from the 20th century.  We could bring back
farm animals, birds, airplanes, helicopters, anything!  But the chance is
VERY small.  I estimate about a 8.25% chance of this thing working.  So in
all probability, it won't work, and I'm pretty sure of it.

KIRK:  Are you trying to make sure these guys become engineers or something?

SCOTTY:  Hey, I certainly think they have the potential, cap'n.  Like the
old earth sayin' goes, "If you can build better minds, you can build better
moosetraps."

KIRK:  Mousetraps.

SCOTTY:  Ooch!  I guess I'm getting too old too, cap'n!

CADET:  Scotty, I think we're ready to give the machine a try.

SCOTTY:  Excellent!  Give it a go! 

ANOTHER CADET:  What year should be set this on?

SCOTTY:  Hmm...how about the 21st century, 2040...let's try to bring back a 
Chinese wok from Tokyo, Japan.

CADET:  How can you bring back something Chinese from Japan?

SCOTTY:  Oh, I don't know!  Just set it there and give it a shot!

(Some of the cadets push some buttons on the machine.  The machine makes some
funny noises and stops.  Some smoke starts to come out)

KIRK:  Well, did it work?

SCOTTY:  Ah, I doubt it.  With all that smoke, there must have been some bad
connection....I don't see no wok, either....

(SCENE: Mega-Tokyo, AD 2040.  Knight Sabers HQ.  Nene is standing on a
digitized scale while the other three Knight Sabers surround her)

LINNA:  Ha ha!  Look!  Nene gained another five kilos!

PRISS:  Sheesh, must be those late night snacks again.  Nene, there IS a lot
more to life than food.   

NENE:  Hey, c'mon guys.  A woman HAS to live a little sometime.

SYLIA:  I think Priss has a valid point, Nene.  There IS a lot more to life 
than food.  It certainly isn't good for your own health and it's also
detrimental to the Knight Sabers.  I'm not too sure if I can make a suit
bigger than the one you have now.
     Anyway, I think we should start our training now.  Genom's been quiet
for awhile, and they could be planning their next move right now...

(Just as Sylia says that, a transporter beam engulfs the four women)

(SCENE:  Mega-Tokyo.  AD 2365.  Same building.  The four girls reappear)

LINNA:  Huh?  What happened?

(They look around and notice it's the same building, but all their equipment
is gone.)  

PRISS:  This doesn't look like our HQ.  

NENE:  It's the same building, but where's all the equipment? 

(They step outside to notice that their cars are gone.  Instead, the streets
are filled with hovercrafts and they also notice a big crowd gathering down
the street.  Sylia notices a passerby)

SYLIA:  Excuse me, but can you tell me what is the name of this city and what
year?

PASSERBY:  It's 2365, and you're in Mega-Tokyo.  (Notices the four women)
Sheesh, you chicks been living in a cave or somethin'?

SYLIA (points to the crowd): What's going on down there?

PASSERBY:  Don't you know?  It's the inauguration of the new Starfleet 
Academy Branch in Mega-Tokyo.  It's the big news of today.  Gotta go!
(runs off to join the crowd)

SYLIA (to the girls):  I have a feeling that...we've been sent to the future.

(The other three girls look shocked as we cut to the opening)

(TNG music starts.  Shot of the 24th century Mega-Tokyo, then the scene
spans out to outer space at the Milky Way planets.)

SYLIA:  Space, the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the Knight
Sabers.  Our continuing mission...to stop Genom and the bumas.  To restore
peace in the universe.  To boldly go where no woman has fought before!

(BUBBLEGUM TREK pops up here)

(BGC music comes on here.  Shots of the four girls in the 24th century
Mega-Tokyo, and then the scene changes to the USS Enterprise, where the
bridge crew is shown.)

(Opening credits appear)

(SCENE: Mega-Tokyo, AD 2365.  The four Knight Sabers are still befuddled
by their time travel to the futuristic Mega-Tokyo)

LINNA:  This is a joke, right?  We can't be 300 years in the future!

PRISS:  Well, if this is a bad dream, I want to wake up NOW!

NENE:  Guys, I think whining about it won't do us any good.

SYLIA:  Girls, I think Nene is right.  Face it, we're now stuck here.  We
have no idea how we got here or who brought us here.  Everything is real.

LINNA:  Well, what are we going to do?

SYLIA:  The only thing we could do is to find a way to get back to our original
time.  I would assume the technology in the 24th century is a lot stronger
than what we're accustomed to, so perhaps I could find a way out.  In the
meantime, I guess we'll all have to blend in with the "new" Mega-Tokyo. 

NENE:  Will they still remember me at ADP?

PRISS (sneers):  Don't count on it.

LINNA:  Or perhaps an even better question:  what is this city like now?
We don't really know how different it could be.  

SYLIA:  That's why I want you to get accustomed to it.  I have a feeling that
this will be our home for awhile. 

(SCENE:  Mega-Tokyo, AD 2365.  It has been one month since the Knight Sabers
appeared in the "new" Mega-Tokyo.  They all seem to like it: no such thing as
money, no pollution, and endless hours of shopping)

(Nene and Priss are seen walking by the Starfleet Academy Building)

NENE:  You know, I just realized something...

PRISS:  What?

NENE:  This would be where the AD Police building would normally be.  I
wonder...

PRISS (shrugs):  Who cares?  If it's gone, it's gone.  This "Starfleet"
place could be a blessing, actually. 

NENE:  C'mon, Priss!  You can't just hang onto that grudge forever!   

PRISS:  As far as I'm concerned, the ADP took everything that was meaningful
to me. 

NENE (sighs):  Oh, well.  I guess you'll always be you. 

PRISS:  Frankly, I don't see how you can stand working for a bunch of...

NENE:  Hey, they're not ALL that bad!  I made friends...I made good friends
like Leon...

PRISS (becomes teary-eyed suddenly):  Did you have to mention him.  I miss
home.  I mean, I like it here.  Virtually no problems in the 24th century.
But it's not...home.  I wanna go back HOME! (starts crying as she falls into
Nene's arms)

NENE:  C'mon, you're not THAT soft to cry.   

PRISS (sobs):  I know.  I really love it here...no pollution, no hassles,
no money to spend, everything is free...and even no boomers...but somehow,
it's simply not the same.   The world is too...perfect.

NENE:  Yeah, it really is.  Sometimes I feel too...lazy.

PRISS:  Sounds like you, Nene.

NENE (sarcastic):  Well, thank you.  Sheesh!  Seriously, I still WANT to
make myself useful somehow.  (Looks up at the Academy Building)  That's it.

PRISS:  What is?

NENE:  I want to become one.  I want to join.

PRISS:  Become what?

NENE:  I want to become a Starfleet Officer. 

PRISS:  You?  Traveling in the stars?  (laughs)  Well, I always thought your
brain was in another dimension.

NENE:  Humph.  Well, since you seem to know so much, why don't you join me?

PRISS:  What's there to do out there?  Space is probably a utopia just as it
is here on Earth.

NENE:  Au contrare.  I've heard many things about what it is now in outer
space.  During the last 300 years, mankind managed to discover many different
alien races.  Conflict still exists, as man and alien struggle to exist. 
That's why there's a United Federation of Planets.  They try to make all
living beings live in peace.

PRISS (shrugs):  I find that hard to believe.

NENE:  It's true.  And even today, man still makes discoveries.  That's
why they have those gigantic starships.  As one famous captain once said,
"To boldly go where no man has gone before."

PRISS:  But we're women.

NENE:  So what?  Anyone can be an officer.  This could be an experience
of a lifetime.  C'mon, Priss.  Join me.  This could boost your morale.

PRISS:  Like as if I HAVE any.  OK, so what's going to happen to Linna and
Sylia if we join?

NENE (pauses):  Well...gee, I kinda forgot about them...but even in the
situation we're in now, we should lead lives of our own, right?

PRISS:  Hmm...well, I suppose...

NENE:  And we can still keep in touch with them.  Knight Sabers never break
up no matter what.

PRISS:  Well...all right.  I'll go into the stars with you.

(Nene smiles)

(SCENE:  Night, Knight Sabers HQ.  The place appears more liveable.
The four women are gathered around a table)

SYLIA:  All right, ladies, what do you have to tell me?

NENE:  Well, first of all, have you made any progress in sending us back
home?

SYLIA:  Not really.  Obviously, the technology of this century is much more
sophisticated than our time, and even so, I still can't find a way out.
We've been stuck in square one ever since we've came here.  But I seem to
be more accustomed to the computer systems right now than in previous
weeks, so there's still hope.

LINNA:  So how long will it be until we go home?

SYLIA:  Lord knows.  Realistically, I would guess between a few months to
a few years.  I'm sorry, but I'm trying the best I could.  I hope you can
make yourselves useful until then. 

NENE:  Oh, that's what we wanted to tell you.  Me and Priss will be signing
up to become Starfleet Officers.

SYLIA: Really?

LINNA:  And I got a job at the Academy to be an aerobics instructor.

SYLIA:  Well, I'm glad to hear that.  I guess that would certainly make the
time fly by.  When do you start?

NENE:  Class starts tomorrow.

SYLIA:  My best wishes to all three of you.  Just as well; as I said, it's
not likely that we'll be out of here anytime soon.  Keep in mind that even
though we're in a different time, I'd appreciate it if you follow Knight
Saber regulations at all times.  After being here for more than a month,
I'm sure that I don't have to remind you of that.

LINNA:  Understood.  It's kind of funny, though...there doesn't seem to be
anyone who remembers the Knight Sabers.

PRISS:  What did you expect?  We're 300 years in the future.

NENE:  And I don't think ANY of us has seen a single boomer here.

SYLIA:  I recently checked through some files from Starfleet Command's
public access computing center, and one of the files mentioned that Genom's
last boomer attack on Mega-Tokyo occured in the year 2062.  They
haven't been seen ever since.

PRISS (small smile on her face):  Just as well.  Looks like your father's
dream is now just a distant memory. 

NENE:  Does it say anything about us?

SYLIA:  Nothing.  The only other information I managed to dig up was about
the AD Police.  The powers-that-be of the United Federation of Planets started
to negotiate with the ADP about a 100 years ago to see if the ADP can "join"
the Federation.  Many citizens of Mega-Tokyo thought that the ADP was more
pathetic than ever before, so the ADP was more than willing to become part
of Starfleet.  The ADP officially dissolved at the turn of the century and
Starfleet Command took over from then on.  That's why we see the
Academy building right where the ADP used to be.

NENE:  Didn't they save the ADP's computer banks?

SYLIA:  I think some files were saved, but most of them got lost or erased
when Starfleet inserted their own data.

LINNA:  So nobody knows what our final fates are?  Aren't we written in some
history book somewhere?

SYLIA:  Maybe it would be best if we didn't know.

NENE, PRISS AND LINNA (together):  Why?

SYLIA:  Because there's always that chance that whatever our final fate is may
not be good at all.  We're now stuck in the future, and as far as we're con-
cerned, we now control our OWN destiny.  We can't let whatever was supposed
to happen to us bother us now.

LINNA:  I guess you're right.

SYLIA:  Anyway, my best of wishes to all three of you.  I hope you become
successful in your endeavors.  And please keep in touch with one another.

(SCENE:  Mega-Tokyo Starfleet Academy building.  First day of classes)

(Insert BGC Pop Song)

(Scene of Nene paying attention to lecture, while Priss appears bored)

LECTURER:  ...one of the most important things to become a Starfleet 
Officer is to be able to make POSITIVE and FAST decisions.  As with many
other things in life, timidness cannot be tolerated...

NENE (in her mind):  Hmm...I think I know this already...

PRISS (in her mind):  When is this bullsh*t going to end... (Priss falls 
asleep)

(Scene change to an aerobics class, with Linna as the instructor)

LINNA:  One, two, three...c'mon, lets see those legs and arms go higher!

(Priss appears to be with the flow with the rest of the class, while Nene
appears tired, panting, and sweaty)

LINNA:  Hey, red head!  Get with it!

NENE (huffing and puffing):  Linna, you're a slave driver!

LINNA:  I'm Miss Yamazaki to you.  If you don't shape up, I'll make you
run penalty laps around the gym.

NENE: Grrr....

(The workout ends.  Nene falls on her back, still panting)

PRISS:  Guess you're too wimpy for this, eh?  I told you to stay off the
junk food.

(Nene has an angry look)

(Weeks and months pass.  Scene change to a typical Academy classroom.
Nene and Priss get their graded exams back)

PRISS:  What did you get?

NENE:  A+.  This stuff is TOO easy.  What about you?

PRISS:  C minus.

(Nene sticks her tongue out at her.  Priss makes a swipe at Nene and misses)

(Scene change to a Academy gymnasium, where Nene and Priss are in a martial
arts class)

INSTRUCTOR:  Today, we'll learn some basic moves in the ancient Korean
martial art, Tae-Kwon-Do.  Would any of you like to volunteer?

(Priss and Nene eagerly raise their hands)  

INSTRUCTOR (points to Nene):  Your name, cadet?

NENE:  Nene Romanova, Sir. 

INSTRUCTOR:  Okay, Nene, come over here...

(A few minutes later, Nene makes a kick toward the instructor but misses.
Her momentum causes her to fall to the floor)

INSTRUCTOR:  Nene, you got the right idea, but your kick is still TOO slow.
If I was a Romulan, I would have killed you.

(Nene joins the rest of the class)

INSTRUCTOR:  Any other WILLING volunteers?  

(The instructor sees Priss's hand)

INSTRUCTOR:  Okay, come over here.  Your name?

PRISS:  Priss.  Who wants to know?

INSTRUCTOR:  And your last name?

PRISS:  Don't know what it is.  My parents were killed when I was young.

INSTRUCTOR:  Ok, if you say so.  Anyway, here is how you do a basic kick in
the chops (Does the demonstration to Priss)  Very simple.  But the thing is,
you should TRY to execute the move quickly in order for it to be effective.
Even a moment of tardiness could be costly during a battle with the enemy.
All right, you give it a try.

(Priss at super speed whacks the instructor in the stomach)

INSTRUCTOR:  Oof.  Wow, you're fast.

(Priss continues to pummel away at the professor)

INSTRUCTOR:  Okay, okay...AAGH!  You've done your part.  Now...

(Priss then does an arm chop in the chops)

INSTRUCTOR:  Hey, we haven't learned that yet!  Will you...

(Priss continues to beat him up without mercy)

INSTRUCTOR:  Hey, STOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP!!!!   Helppppppppp!!!!!

(The other students in the class cheers Priss on as she beats the instuctor
to a pulp.  Afterwards, she places her foot on his fallen body, indicating
victory.  The cadets go crazy for Priss)

INSTRUCTOR (groggy):  Class......dismissed.  (Head flumps back to the floor)

(SCENE:  Typical Starfleet Academy classroom.  Priss is there.  There is an
empty seat where Nene should be)

LECTURER:  Cadet Nene Romanova!  (silence.  A small smile appears on Priss's
face)  Cadet Nene Romanova!  Cadet Priss, do you know where Romanova is?
(Priss shakes her head)

(SCENE:  Back to the gym for yet another martial arts class)

INSTRUCTOR:  ...and now it is time for your first martial arts test.  All
of you are required to take it in order to pass the course.  Any willing
volunteers? 

(Priss raises her hand.)

INSTRUCTOR:  Oh, Priss.  Well, OK, but the test will be a little different for
you.

PRISS:  Huh?

INSTRUCTOR:  Normally, you would have to take me on for the test, but since
you've already...um, made me look bad, I'd figure you should take on one of
the other instructors.  (Gestures toward one of the gym doors)

(As the side door opens, a large figure steps out.  He appears to be 6 foot
10 inches and has a "Bruce Lee" type figure)

INSTRUCTOR:  Priss, this is Okyorama.  He recently won the Far East Tae-
Kwon-Do tournament in Seoul and is the current Martial Arts Champion of
Mega-Tokyo.

(Priss gasps)

OKYORAMA:  How doo you doo. (Realizes that Priss is female)  Wait ah 
minoote, do yoo expact mee too take on GOILIE?

INSTRUCTOR:  Of course!  She beat the crap out of me the other day.

OKYORAMA (to instructor):  You GOOT to be KEEDING.  You actually LOOST to
GOILIE?

PRISS:  "GOILIE"?  Who are you calling a GOILIE?

OKYORAMA (to Priss):  Oooops.  My apologees, Madame Goilie.  I doo not weesh
to hurt a weeekaling like you... 

PRISS:  Weakling?!??!  Okay, that's it!  (to the instructor)  I'll take him
on!

INSTRUCTOR:  Good luck!

OKYORAMA:  Now wait, goilie...I don't want to...OOOAUF!!! (Priss hits him
hard in the chops)

(We now see shots of Priss hitting Okyorama on various parts of his body.
Okyorama tries to fight back but Priss is too much for him)

OKYORAMA:  AAAAGHHHH!! OAMUFFF!!!  OOOOOOOGHHHHHHHH!!!

CADETS IN GYM:  PRISS! PRISS! PRISS! PRISS! PRISS! PRISS! PRISS! PRISS!
 PRISS! PRISS! PRISS! PRISS! PRISS! GO PRISS! YAAAAAAAAAAY!

(Finally, Okyorama lands on the floor face first in exhaustion.  Cadets
surround Priss in jubilation.  Instructor comes up to Okyorama's face)

INSTRUCTOR:  I told you.   
  
(Okyorama's head falls back onto the canvas)

(SCENE: Another Academy classroom.)

LECTURER:  Cadet Nene Romanova!  (silence)  Cadet Romanova!  DANG IT!
WHERE IS SHE?

(Scene change to Nene's Mega-Tokyo apartment.  She is sitting in front of
a computer terminal hacking away)  

NENE:  Dum da de dum dum...

(Something with the United Federation of Planets logo appear on the
screen)

NENE:  Hey!  Now I can change my grades...wait, er, NAH!  I'm not that
dishonest. 

(SCENE:  Several days later.  Some of the Academy Instructors are talking in
a lounge)  

INSTRUCTOR (the same guy who taught the martial arts class):  I tell you,
she's a tough cookie!

OKYORAMA:  Yah.  She beat me up.  Read bawd.

ANOTHER MARTIAL ARTS INSTRUCTOR:  You wimps.  A woman beat you guys up?

(Both instructors nod their heads)

ANOTHER MARTIAL ARTS INSTRUCTOR:  I can't believe that.  Okay, we'll see how
tough she really is...  

(Scene change to another part of the lounge)

LECTURER:  Hey, do you have a Nene Romanova in your class?

LECTURER 2:  Romanova...Romanova...ah yes.  Best grades in the class,
I think, but she never shows up for lecture.

LECTURER:  Same here.  I've haven't seen her for the past two lectures.
Gawd, I hate losing students.

LECTURER 2:  Past two lectures?  You're lucky.  I haven't seen her for
the past two weeks.

(Another lecturer comes up)

LECTURER 3:  Past two months for me.

(The other lecturers look astonished)

(SCENE:  A cafeteria.  Nene and Priss are sitting together eating lunch)

NENE:  So how are your grades?

PRISS:  So so.  And you?

NENE:  3.68 on a 4.0 GPA scale.

PRISS:  Huh?  You hardly show up for class.

NENE (arrogant):  I'm a brain.  Hee hee!  (smiles)

PRISS:  Humph.  For your info, my best classes are in martial arts.

NENE:  So I heard.  At this rate, the Academy won't have any more instructors
if you keep mutilating them.

PRISS:  Guess I need to beat up a boomer sometime.  Too bad there aren't any
around here.  (Takes out a white envelope from her bag).  By the way, what
classes are you going to take next semester?

NENE (pondering):  Hmm....if I recall, mostly on technical and mechanical 
stuff.  What about you?

PRISS:  I'm going to find out right now.  (Opens the envelope and reads the
her class schedule)  Phaser weapondry, warp technology...huh?

NENE:  What's the matter?

PRISS:  I don't remember signing up for Sumo Wrestling.

(SCENE:  Office of the Dean of Martial Arts.  Priss is in the office.  A
secretary sits behind a desk working.)

SECRETARY:  Cadet Priss, Mr. Toshiyaba is ready to see you now.

PRISS:  Thank you.

(Priss stalks through Mr. Toshiyaba's door and throws down her class 
schedule onto his desk)

PRISS:  What is this?

TOSHIYABA:  It's a class schedule.

PRISS:  Very good.  You're smarter than I thought.  Okay, I'll get to the
point.  Who signed me up for Sumo?

TOSHIYABA:  Oh, yes.  I know you, Cadet Priss.  The instructors told me that
you are REQUIRED to take that course in order for you to graduate.  

PRISS:  WHAT!!! Why?

TOSHIYABA:  Umm...well they didn't say.  

PRISS:  I hope you're not lying.  You better tell me or else you won't have
any more teeth.

TOSHIYABA:  Now come on, Cadet!  One more class of martial arts class is
very useful.  Starfleet likes true fighters in their ranks.  Besides, Sumo
is very easy.

PRISS:  Easy?

TOSHIYABA:  Very easy, especially of your calliber.  Trust me, you won't take
on anyone over 200 pounds.  Trust me.

PRISS:  You got to be kidding.

TOSHIYABA:  No joke.   

PRISS:  All right, if you say so.

(SCENE:  Academy Gymnasium.  Priss is looking at a 520 pound sumo wrestler)

PRISS:  He doesn't look under 200 to me.

INSTRUCTOR:  Oops, our scale is broken, I think.  

PRISS:  "Trust me"; yeah, right.  Hey, who else signed up for this class 
anyway?

INSTRUCTOR:  You're the only one.

PRISS:  HUH?

INSTRUCTOR:  From what others told me, you're the only one fitted for this
class.

PRISS:  This is a set up!

INSTRUCTOR:  Hey, I only told you what others have told me.  Kato, attack 
the woman!

(Kato lunges forward in his sumo stance.  Priss appears ready as well.)

KATO:  HYAAAAA!!!  (Kato attacks and hits Priss in the chest.  Instructor
giggles)

INSTRUCTOR:  Looks like you have met your match.

PRISS:  Ha!  Nobody gets off that easily.

(Priss gets up and chops him in the chest.  Kato doesn't move.  A smile
appears on his face)

PRISS:  Looks like you'll be tougher than I thought.  

(Kato hits Priss again and she falls to the floor)

INSTRUCTOR:  Ha ha!  Do you give up?

PRISS (angry and breathing hard):  NOOOO!

(Priss makes a flying tackle to the face.  Kato wreaks in pain.  She then
hits him continually in the midsection)

KATO:  OOOOF!  AAAAAAGHGH!  I'm hurting!  I give up!   (Falls to the floor)

INSTRUCTOR:  Wow!  I am impressed with your stupendous strengh!

(Priss does a tae-qwon-do kick to the instructor's head.  He falls to the
floor too)

PRISS:  Yeah, I hope you're impressed with that too.  (Priss leaves)

(More weeks and months pass.  We see more scenes of Priss and Nene's academy
training.  More aerobics, computer training, combat situations with Klingons,
Nene skipping class constantly...) 

(It is now exactly two years since the Knight Sabers landed in Mega-Tokyo.
We now see a commencement ceremony in the Mega-Tokyo Starfleet Academy
Gardens.  Priss and Nene are there along with hundreds of other cadets)

DEAN:  Distinguished Cadets, welcome to yet another stage of your life.   
You have now mastered the fine arts and training of space travel.  As you
all will go your separate ways, whether here on Earth or on one of Starfleet
Command's heralded starships, I hope that your vast experiences in Starfleet
Academy were most memorable. 
     Our guest speaker is one of Starfleet's most recognized veterans.  
He has been very invaluable to the United Federation of Planets for more than
80 years.  He was a doctor on the USS Enterprise for some 30-plus years and
is currently the head of Doctorial Affairs for Starfleet.  Please give a
big round of applause for Admiral Leonard "Bones" McCoy!  

(Cadets clap as McCoy takes the stand)

MCCOY:  Thank you, Admiral.  First of all, I'd like to say that I am, um,
honored to be here talking to you.  I, um, am not much of a speaker, but
,um, I could give it the ol' Academy try.  Get it?  Academy try?

(The cadets remain emotionless)

MCCOY: Oh, well.  I still remember when I, um, first graduated from the 
Academy.  It was, um, a very good experience.  I was, um, looking forward
to being a full-fledged doctor in space.  Working under James T. Kirk was
very, um, exciting for me.  In my time, there weren't a lot of "quacks
in space", anyway.  Get it?  Quacks in space?

(Cadets have puzzled looks on their faces)

MCCOY:  Oh, dang it!  I'm a doctor, not a speech-giver!  In short, good luck
with your careers in Starfleet.  Thank you.

(Cadets cheer)

(Soon, the cadets were given their commissions.  The Dean is once again on 
the stand calling out names)

DEAN:  Cadet Nene Romanova!

(Nene goes up and gets her commission certificate.  She reads it:

                             THIS CERTIFIES THAT

                               NENE ROMANOVA

                 HAS SATIFIED THE REQUIREMENTS TO BE AN OFFICER
                     FOR THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS

                 GRADUATING RANK:  Ensign
                 ASSIGNMENT:  Navigator and Engineering
                              USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D)

NENE:  Wow!  I'm on the Enterprise!

DEAN:  Cadet Priss!

(Priss gets her certificate and sits back down.  She becomes elated when 
she reads it)

NENE:  You happy too?

PRISS:  Yep.  (She smiles as she shows her certificate)

NENE (surprised):  Huh?  How?  Why?

(SCENE:  The Academy Credit Evaluation Office)

NENE (to administrator):  Why?

ADMIN:  Well, she proved something that you never were.

NENE:  What?

ADMIN:  Comparing her record to yours, she had a better class attendance
record than you, and she seem to be an expert in all sorts of combat.
You had better grades than her, but you only seem to be here a quarter of
the time.  Also, Priss is the only cadet in Starfleet's history who managed
to injure three Academy Martial Arts instructors.

NENE:  That's stupid.  I'm good at combat too!

ADMIN:  Yes, your record indicates that, but only particularly in phaser
warfare.  She is all-around.

NENE:  This is unfair.

ADMIN:  We could do a re-evaluation, but it would only be on her permission.
All evaluations are final unless requested by that particular cadet.

(Nene groans)

ADMIN:  Look at it this way.  You're serving on the Starship Enterprise.
Only the best gets to serve on that ship.  

NENE:  Then promote me if I am the best.

ADMIN:  Can't.  You're record isn't good enough.  Look, I got work to do,
so if you don't mind...

(Nene stomps out without a word)

(SCENE:  Knight Sabers HQ.  Sylia is sitting in front of a computer terminal
wondering.)

SYLIA (in her mind):  How did we get here...how did we get here...
why are we here...who brought us here...in this distant time...will we
ever go home...oh God...someone help me

LARGO'S VOICE:  Sylia...Sylia...Sylia...

SYLIA:  What?

(Sylia finds herself in another place, different from her previous 
surroundings.  She sees nothing but blackness around her.  Then Largo's
form materializes in front of her)

LARGO:  Hi, Sylia.  Welcome...to another time...your destiny rests here.
Here...in a time where boomers don't exist...but only humans think that.
We are still alive...we still exist...only humans don't know that.  We
are still alive...we will control the universe...

SYLIA:  Impossible!  You will never succeed.

LARGO (laughing):  Ha!  Your father had a dream...a good one...if not for him
we would not exist...you wouldn't exist either...but we had yet a better
dream.  We are more superior that those crummy humans...this is your chance
to share my glory with me...join me...be part of me...I love you, Sylia...

SYLIA:  No!  I will never...

LARGO:  Foolish one.  You will lose eventually.  Join me now...forget the
Knight Sabers...we will show you...that we will rule eventually...and the
universe will be ours to share..together...in love.  As one.  Join me...

SYLIA:  NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

LINNA:  Sylia?

(Sylia wakes up, realizing that she was dreaming.  She finds herself in
the room again and sees Linna at the doorway)

LINNA:  I came over to see how you were doing.  Is something wrong?

SYLIA:  I...had a bad dream.  (sighs)  We've been here too long.  I just
can't find a way.  Everything's getting to me...
  
LINNA:  I know what you mean.  I like it here; it's just that...well you've
already heard the same thing from us zillions of times already.

SYLIA:  Yeah.  I still can't find a way for us to go home...but....

LINNA:  What is it?

SYLIA:  Come with me.

(Sylia shows Linna to a back door.  Linna sees a giant blue-colored 
spaceship, which looks awfully familiar.  She also sees some very familiar
hardsuits)

LINNA (astonished):  What?  How?  How did all this get here?

SYLIA:  I made them.

LINNA:  Really?

SYLIA:  I was very impressed with the vast technological advancements of
the 24th Century.  The databanks of Starfleet Command's public access sites
seemed very useful.  

LINNA:  Wow.  They look just like our hardsuits.

SYLIA:  They are--and a lot better too.  We probably won't use them now...

LINNA:  Then what's the point of all this?

SYLIA (sighs):  I made them...in the event that we go home.  But...it really
seems hopeless.  No boomers in the 24th century.  No wonder that there is
such thing as a Starfleet Command instead of an AD Police.  Maybe Priss
was right, when she said...boomer technology is dead.  I guess this is
all out of frustration, making all this.  But still, I wanted to fill the   
time.  
     I tried to find a way back.  I've read about stories in the databanks
about time travel.  Some captain of a previous starship Enterprise--forgot
his name--managed to go back to the 20th century in an effort to save
the earth from ecological disaster.  So far, that feat hasn't been duplicated.
I want to do that too, but even I couldn't find the right pieces to the puzzle.
     After a few months, it seemed that reality started to strike in.  There
was nothing I could do.  I figured that this will be our home for the rest
of our lives.  So I made all this...in case we do find a way home.  But then
again...there are no boomers here...

LINNA:  You tried, Sylia.  I know you don't want to let us down.  But even
someone like myself can realize that your human like the rest of us.

SYLIA:  Yes, I...suppose.  (sighs)

(Chime is heard from the doorway)

SYLIA:  Who is it?

PRISS'S VOICE:  It's me!  Let me in!

(Sylia presses a button on a table and the door slides open.  Priss runs
in frantically.  Priss is wearing a red Starfleet uniform)

SYLIA:  Priss!  What's wrong?

PRISS (panting):  Hide me!  

SYLIA:  Hide you?  Who is chasing you?

PRISS:  Never mind that!  Just hide me!  (sees a closet)  I'll go in here!
(Priss presses a button and the closet door opens.  She goes in and hides
under some of Sylia's clothes)

(Another chime from the door)

SYLIA:  Who is it?

NENE'S VOICE:  Hi, Sylia!  It's me, Nene.  Is Priss in there?

SYLIA:  Er, yes.  She went into the closet.  Come on in.

(Door opens and a red-faced Nene enters.  She is also wearing a red
Starfleet uniform.  She then marches to the closet and presses the button.
Nene sees Priss huddled under party dresses)

NENE:  There you are!

PRISS:  GAAAAAAAAAK!

NENE:  I ought to... (starts choking Priss)

LINNA:  Nene, what are you doing?  Let her go!  (tries to separate them)

(Sylia intervenes and drags them both out of the closet.)

SYLIA:  Could one of you explain what is going on here?

NENE:  Okay, the good news...we both graduated from Starfleet Academy.

SYLIA:  That's good!  Then why are you mad at Priss?

NENE:  The bad news...she got a promotion!  (points to Priss)

PRISS:  Well, that's what you get for skipping class three thousand times...

NENE:  Grr...(lunges toward Priss)   

SYLIA:  Ladies!  Ladies!  Let's knock it off, shall we.  I'm sure the 24th
century don't need any hostility now.  Nene, you apologize for being mean to
Priss.

NENE (reluctant):  Okay, sorry.  But I'm still jealous.  I should be a 
Junior Lieutenant, not her.

PRISS:  Well, you fight like a wimp in combat...

SYLIA:  Priss!

PRISS (trying to look innocent):  Yes?

SYLIA:  Nene is NOT a wimp.  If she was, she wouldn't be a Knight Saber.

PRISS:  Oh...sorry, Nene.  I didn't mean that.

SYLIA:  Now that's better.  Ladies, I don't think this is anything to make
a fuss over.  If I recall, Lieutenant Junior Grade is one step higher than
Ensign.

NENE:  Yeah, but...

SYLIA:  So, if you ask me, you two are capable of doing anything at any
time.  Rank isn't everything.  To me, you two are exactly the same.

PRISS:  Well, Nene is fatter than I am, so...

SYLIA:  Physically, there may be differences, but deep down inside is what 
really counts in order to be successful in life.  And I think you two have
proved that.

(Nene and Priss look at each other)

NENE & PRISS (at the same time):  I'm sorry!

SYLIA:  That's better.  So, when are you two leaving for the stars?

NENE:  The Enterprise is expected to take a one day shore leave tomorrow
and we're going to board tomorrow morning. 

SYLIA:  And you two will be serving on the same ship?

(Nene and Priss nod)

SYLIA:  Good.  Keep in touch with one another, and I hope you have a good
journey.  I'm very proud of you two, making the best out of a tough
situation.  Oh by the way, here's something I'd like to show you...

(Sylia shows Nene and Priss to the back room)

NENE:  Our hardsuits!

PRISS:  How did all this get here? 

SYLIA:  I made them.  I'm pretty impressed with 24th century technology. 
(smiles)

NENE:  But we probably won't be using them now...

SYLIA:  Correct.  We'll be bringing them back with us when we go home...
that is...IF we go home....

NENE (unhappy suddenly):  Gee, you HAD to remind us.

SYLIA:  Sorry.  It's got to me too.  (looks at a digital wall clock).  It's
getting late.  You two got a long day ahead of you tomorrow.

NENE:  You're right.  C'mon Priss, let's go.

LINNA:  Hey, wait up!  I want to go with you!

(Sylia waves the three girls goodbye.  After they leave, Sylia goes back to
the back room and stares at the new improved Knight Saber equipment.  She
then have afterthoughts of the dream she just had)

SYLIA:  Largo...are you still out there?

(SCENE:  Outer Space.  Border of the Romulan Neutral Zone.  We first see
an army of 50 boomers enter view.  Then, a giant cubicle ship, about 
10,000 times larger than a single boomer, appears)

BORG:  IDENTIFY YOURSELF.

LARGO (in boomer suit):  I'm glad you asked.  I am Largo, leader to the Genom
Conglomerate.  We are pleased to meet you.

BORG:  YOU APPEAR HUMAN, YET OUR SENSORS INDICATE THAT YOU ARE ALL MACHINES.

LARGO:  Yes, you are correct.  I, myself, was human, but I am...immortal.
We terrorized planet earth some 300 years ago, but we were defeated by a...
stronger force, shall we say.  We have been hiding until now.  Now we want
to rule the universe.

BORG:  ONLY THE BORG SHALL RULE THE UNIVERSE.

LARGO:  I know that.  How about if we...work together as a team?

BORG:  TEAMWORK?  UNITY?

LARGO:  Yes...two strong minds as one.  While we were hiding, we have
improved ourselves in many ways.  We are now a force that the universe will
fear forever! 

BORG:  IF WE WERE HUMAN, WE WOULD BE LAUGHING.  

LARGO:  Now, c'mon!  Give us a chance!

BORG:  OPPORTUNITIES ARE IRRELEVANT.

LARGO:  Now wait a minute!  Isn't your ultimate goal...to capture and
enslave all races?

BORG:  CORRECT ANALYSIS.

LARGO:  Well, how about if we became...a PART of you.  The borg is all
one collective mind, correct?

BORG:  CORRECT.

LARGO:  And when we do...we, you...ALL of us...will become the most
destructive force in the universe.  Think about it...just give us a chance
to see what we could do.  All the power and glory...

(Silence)

BORG:  VERY WELL.  WE WILL GIVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE YOURSELVES.

LARGO:  Thank you.  You wont regret it.  By the way, can you tell me if there
is a Starfleet Command Captain named...Stingray?

BORG:  CHECKING AVAILABLE STARFLEET INFORMATION...CAPTAIN MACKEY STINGRAY THE
FOURTH, OF THE USS MEGA-TOKYO, REGISTRATION NCC-2030.

LARGO:  Excellent.

(SCENE:  USS Mega-Tokyo.  View of the ship as Captain Mackey Stingray IV does
a personal log)

MACKEY (voiceover):  Captain's Personal Log Stardate 45825.1.  I am bored.
Bored as hell.  Seems that the time between assignments last an eternity.
This is only the ship's maiden voyage and already I long for some hard-
hittin' action.  I should be asleep with the rest of my officers, but I
don't feel tired at all.  Just darned bored.  With nothing better to do,
I guess I'll mess with my computer terminal.

(We now see Captain Stingray in his ready room.  He turns on his desktop
computer)

MACKEY:  Computer, give me a family tree listing of the Stingray family.

COMPUTER VOICE:  SEARCHING...FAMILY HISTORY FOUND.

(The screen is filled with Stingray family members and relatives.  Mackie
notices that there were three other Mackies before him.  He also notices
that the first Mackie had a sister)

MACKEY:  Hmmm....computer, give me all available information regarding Sylia
Stingray.

(Computer screen now displays a picture of Sylia but nothing more)

COMPUTER VOICE:  NO OTHER DATA FOUND.

MACKIE (looking at the picture):  That's weird...hmmm...odd, she looks like
the scientific type.  I know that my great-great grandfather was involved
with developing some...robotic race.  Prehistoric androids, perhaps?  
I wonder if this Sylia had something to do with it too...

INTERCOM VOICE:  Bridge to Captain Stingray.

MACKEY:  Stingray here.

INTERCOM VOICE:  You're wanted on the bridge.  We're picking up a weird
distress signal.

(Mackie enters the bridge)

MACKIE:  Report.

SECURITY CHIEF:  The signal is coming from the Romulan Neutral Zone.

MACKIE:  Idenification?

SECURITY CHIEF:  Unconfirmed, sir.  Doesn't sound like anything familiar.

MACKIE:  It's not coming from a Romulan or Vulcan vessel?

SECURITY CHIEF:  Negative.  We'd know it if it was.

MACKIE:  All right, let's check it out.  Ensign, set course for the Romulan
Neutral Zone.  Warp 4. 

ENSIGN IN NAV:  Course set. Warp 4 ready.  Estimated time of arrival:  30
minutes.

MACKIE:  Engage.  Stingray to Engineering.

LIEUTENANT IN ENGINEERING:  Engineering here.

MACKIE:  How are the shields?

LIEUTENANT IN ENGINEERING:  Shields are operative and at full strengh, sir.

MACKIE:  Good.  We might need them in case this is a Romulan hoax.  Stingray
out.

LIEUTENANT IN CONN:  What do you think, sir?

MACKIE:  Right now I'm guessing that is another cargo ship that went off-
course again.  Not that uncommon.  But this might be a Romulan trap, so
I'm ready for anything.

(SCENE:  Mega-Tokyo arriving in the Neutral Zone border)

ENSIGN IN NAV:  We have now arrived at the border of the Neutral Zone, sir.

LIEUTENANT IN CONN:  Captain, sensors are picking up...something.

MACKIE:  Identification?

LIEUTENANT IN CONN:  It appears to be a herd of...android-like robotic
beings.  I think they're withing viewing range.

MACKIE:  Onscreen.

(The army of boomers appears on the screen)

MACKIE:  My God, what are they?  Suggestions!

SECURITY CHIEF:  Recommend that we raise shields and try to communicate with
them.  They appear not to be hostile, but I don't think we should take any
chances. 

MACKIE:  All right, make it so.  Raise shields, open hailing frequencies.   

SECURITY CHIEF:  Hailing frequencies open, sir.

(Mackie gets out of the command chair and walks to the viewscreen)

MACKIE:  This is Captain Mackie Stingray of the USS Mega-...

LIEUTENANT IN CONN:  Captain!  They're locking on...

(An array of laser fire violently rocks the ship.  Red Alert sirens go off)

MACKIE:  Damage report!

SECURITY CHIEF:  Shields are now down to 48 percent!

MACKIE:  What!  You gotta be kidding.  Stingray to Engineering!  Can you
divert more power to the shields?

LIEUTENANT IN ENGINEERING:  I can try, Captain, but it's going to be hard!
The laser fire knocked out some systems down here!

MACKIE: Make it so!

(Another array of laser fire hits the ship.  Ship rocks more violently.
(Lights on the bridge dim)

MACKIE:  Damage report!

SECURITY CHIEF:  Shields inoperative!

MACKIE:  My Stars, who ARE they?

SECURITY CHIEF:  Captain, decks 5 through 27 are reporting serious
injuries and casualties! 

LIEUTENANT IN CONN:  Captain, sensors are indicating that the robotic
beings are surrounding the ship in an oval!  They're now on both our
port and starboard bow!

MACKIE:  Engineering!  Where's the power to the shields?

LIEUTENANT IN ENGINEERING:  I think I can get some more, Captain!  Now
rerouting to secondary power.

(Scene changes to outside the ship.  All the boomers fire at the ship at the
same time.  Ship rocks again and starts to viabrate uneasily)

SECURITY CHIEF:  Shields are completely out!  All systems are now offline!
 
LIEUTENANT IN ENGINEERING:  Captain!  Both impulse and warp engines are
severely damaged.  Picking up mass energy fluxuations throughout the
shi...AAAAAAAGGHHHH!  (Explosion is heard through the speaker)

(Lights continue to flicker and dim on the bridge.  Ship rocks 
violently) 
    
LIEUTENANT IN CONN:  Captain!  All systems inoperative!  Mass energy
fluxuations throughout the ship!  This thing is going to blow!

MACKEY:  All hands abandon ship!  Get the hell out of here NOW!  Get
escape pods rea...

(Ship explodes in a flash of fireworks and white light.  Boomers flee
the scene.) 
 
(SCENE:  Neutral Zone, one hour later.  The Borg returns)

BORG:  WE ARE...IMPRESSED.

LARGO (smiling):  I knew you would.

BORG:  WE WELCOME YOU...TO THE WORLD OF THE BORG.

(Largo smiles and lets out an evil laugh as we fade away to commercial)

COMMERCIAL

(We see an ordinary person) 

ANNOUNCER:  Wouldn't it be great if you decided to take a nap...

(The guy falls asleep on a hammock)

ANNOUNCER:  ...and you woke up to see that you became a...

(The guys now appears as Kyosuke Kasuga)

ANNOUNCER:  ...Japanese animation character!  Yes!  You are now Kyosuke
Kasuga from Kimangure Orange Road!

KYOSUKE:  Wah!

ANNOUNCER:  And your date for the evening was...

(Madoka drives up in a red convertible wearing a skimpy dress)

ANNOUNCER:  ...the voluptuous Madoka Ayukawa!

KYOSUKE:  Ayukawa!

MADOKA:  Kasuga-Kun!

(Scene changes to a beach with a sunset.  Madoka and Kyosuke are eating
picnic food.)

ANNOUNCER:  And during your date she brought lots of...BEER!

(Madoka brings out a six-pack of Keystone)

ANNOUNCER:  Cold-filtered Keystone and Keystone Light.  Canned beer that
tastes like beer in a bottle with Keystone's specially lined can.

(Kyosuke about to kiss Madoka)

ANNOUNCER:  And wouldn't it be great if Hikaru-Chan never showed up?

HIKARU:  Darling!!!

(Hikaru falls from the sky and lands on Kasuga.  Madoka slaps Kasuga 
and walks away)

KYOSUKE: Wa..wa..Ayukawa!

HIKARU:  Darling!  (hugs Kasuga.  Kasuga appears embarassed and upset)

ANNOUNCER:  Cold filtered Keystone and Keystone Light.  Bottled beer taste
in a can.  Now wouldn't that be great?

END OF PART 1

"Bubblegum Trek"  Copyright 1992 Byon Productions, Inc.  All rights, lefts,
ups, and downs reserved.