Organization: Institut fuer Medizinische Computerwissenschaften
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.cics-l
Date:         Fri, 18 Dec 1992 17:16:46 CET
From:         Christian Reichetzeder <MAINTCHR@AWIIMC12.IMC.UNIVIE.AC.AT>
Subject:      Year End
Comments: To: cics-l@AWIIMC12.IMC.UniVie.AC.AT

Something from Dallas Systems Center, Bob  Yelavich. Some of you may have read
this some not, so here it goes ...

:MSG:FROM: YELAVICH--DALVM41B TO: CICSLIST - CICS            +12/10/92 07:46:43
>To:CICSLIST - CICS Interested Parties Distribution List

 FROM:  Bob Yelavich      -  Dallas Systems Center
 ---------------------------------------------------------------
 Subject: Year-end Close of Business


 We here in the CICS support group of the Dallas Systems Center would
 like to take a moment to say it's been great doing business with you
 during the past year.  The following is a copy of correspondence
 between Shirley and Bob on a subject of seasonal interest.  We hope
 you enjoy it.  We look forward to working with you during the coming
 year.



 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/14/91 16:43:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Partridge in a pear tree

  My Dearest Bob,

  I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in
  a pear tree. What a delightful, romantic gift. Thank you, darling,
  for the wonderful thought.

                              With deep love and affection always,

                                      Your loving Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Partridge in a pear tree                                        "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/15/91 15:43:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Two turtle doves

  Dearest Bob,

  Today the postman brought your very sweet gift - two turtle doves.
  I am delighted, they are adorable.

                                   All my love,
                                     Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Two turtle doves                                                "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/16/91 16:43:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Three French Hens

  Dearest Bob,

  Oh how extravagant you really are, I must protest. I don't deserve
  such generosity. Three French hens. I insist you are too kind.

                              Your ever loving,
                                  Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Three French Hens                                               "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/17/91 15:53:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Four calling birds

  Dear Bob,

  You really shouldn't have. I received your four calling birds and
  think its very sweet, but it really isn't necessary. You have done
  more than enough for me already.

                              Your ever loving,
                                  Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Four calling birds                                              "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/18/91 14:43:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Five gold rings

  Dear Bob,

  Today the postman delivered five gold rings, one for each finger.
  You really are impossible, but I love you. Frankly all these birds
  are beginning to squawk and get on my nerves.

                              Your ever loving,
                                  Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Five gold rings                                                 "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/19/91 16:43:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Six geese a laying

  Dear Bob,

  When I opened the door this morning there were actually six bloody
  great geese laying eggs all over the doorstep. So we're back with
  the birds again. Where on earth do you suppose I can keep them
  all? The neighbors are beginning to smell them and I can't sleep
  at night...

  Please STOP

                                   Cordially,
                                     Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Six geese a laying                                              "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/20/91 16:13:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Seven swans a swimming

  Bob,

  What is it with you and these sodding birds? Now I get seven swans
  a swimming. Is it some sort of bloody joke or what? The house is
  full of bird dew and lots of racket........I am beginning to become
  a nervous wreck. Its not funny. STOP sending any birds.

                                  Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Seven swans a swimming                                         ""
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/21/91 17:43:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Eight maids a milking

  Dear Buster

  I think I prefer the birds. What in heck am I going to do with
  eight maids-a-milking?? Is it not enough with all those birds?
  Now I have eight maids-a-milking, eight cows dewin' all over the
  house and mooing all night. Lay off, generous-breath |

                                      Shirley

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :EIghts maids a milking                                          "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/22/91 16:00:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Nine pipers playing

  Smallbrain,

  What are you, some kind of nut?? Now I have nine pipers piping,
  and do they ever play. When they aren't playing their squealing
  pipes they're chasing the maids through the cowdew. The cows keep
  mooing and treading all over the bloomin' birds and the neighbors
  are threatening to evict me.

                               You'll get yours |
                                  Shirley


  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Nine pipers playing                                             "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/23/91 15:15:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Ten ladies dancing

  You Rotten Man,

  Now we have ten ladies dancing. How you can call these 'trollups'
  ladies is beyond me. They are dancing on the pipers all night long.
  The cows can't sleep and have diarrhea. My living room is a river
  of dew and the landlord has just declared the building as unfit.

                               Stop it now |||
                                  Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Ten ladies dancing                                              "
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: SHIRLEY --WINSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/24/91 14:44:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  SHIRLEY --WINSUM  (and lose some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Eleven lords a leaping

  What with eleven lords-a-leaping towards the maids, the ladies
  and me may never walk again. The pipers are fighting the lords for
  the crumpet and are committing buggery with the cows. All the
  birds are dead and rotting throughout the place. Now the cows are
  running through the mess, but not before they had eaten my five
  gold rings.  I hope you are satisfied, you rotten, vicious man ||

                                 Your sworn enemy,
                                     Shirley.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : CICS Customer Center        : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : Old Sarum, Salisbury,       : TIE:  724-5558 : NS/LOB,RM.2001
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)962-144433 : Zip:  38-22-36
 ...[ :Eleven lords a leaping                                         ""
 **********************************************************************
 **********************************************************************
  MSG FROM: GRABBIT --LUZSUM   TO: BOB     --DALVM41B          12/26/91 16:43:09
 >To:BOB     --DALVM41B

  FROM:  GRABBIT --LUZSUM  (and win some)
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  Subject: Twelve fiddlers fiddling


                                    Grabbit, Filth and Mindless
                                       SOLICITORS , LTD.

  Dear Sir,

  We are in receipt of your gift of the 25th of Dec.  Of twelve
  fiddlers fiddling around a house.  We understand that this is
  merely the latest infliction in your persecution of our client,
  Miss Shirley Fullbody, who is at present residing in the 'Happy
  Hours' nursing home.

  We are under instructions to charge you with the destruction of
  our clients home, sanity, and future. You are warned not to
  attempt to contact Miss Fullbody, who has given the staff
  instructions to shoot you on sight.

  A warrant has been issued for your arrest and should be served
  soon after you receive this letter. Please excuse the cowdew
  thereon.

                                  Yours faithfully,
                                  M. A. Firechaser



  ----------------------------------------------------------------
  : Grabbit,Filth and Mindless  : TELEPHONE:     : INTERNAL MAIL:
  : New Sarum, Stonehenge Near  : TIE:  911-5555 : NS/LOB,RM.1002
  : Hampshire, England ASRA 601 :(+44)961-844433 : Zip:  29-29-29
 "..[ :Twelve fiddlers fiddling                                        "
 **********************************************************************


                                   *
                                  * *
                                 * * *
                                * * ***
                               ***  * **
                              *   *   * *
                             * Greetings *
                            **  * * *  *  *
                  From your CICS Product Support folks
                          * **  * * *  * * *
                         **  * * at the * * *
                        ** **  * * **  * * * *
                       * Dallas Systems Center*
                      * * * *  * **  * * *  *  *
                     *Fred,Leigh,Phil,Rags,Mark,*
                    *Lowell,Bill,Mike,John,Pete, *
                   **  Dennis, Steve and Bob.   * *
                  **********************************
                                 ******
                                 ******
                                 ******



 ****************************************************************

 ---------------------------------------------------------------
 :IBM Corporation (40-C3-02):DALVM41B(YELAVICH) IBMMAIL(USIB4SXX)
 :One East Kirkwood Blvd.   :T/L  8-421-5683   :Dept. XN3, C3-212
 :Roanoke, Texas 76299-0015 : (817) 961-5683   :Zip: 40-C3-02
::   ^Year-end Close of Business
Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU