HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: hoosiers@carson.u.washington.edu (Mary Loveless)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: History (was: Seriously, a joke.)
Date: 12 Jan 93 17:23:35 GMT
Article-I.D.: shelley.1iuuqnINN7p3
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
NNTP-Posting-Host: carson.u.washington.edu

In article <1993Jan8.042125.29122@lut.ac.uk> L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd
Wood) writes:

 >Sitting in silence KILLS newsgroups. 

Is it possible that an individual can take time for meditation before
speaking in a group situation, including a newsgroup?  There is the
possibility that within each of us is the inner light, our connection to
the greater whole.  The purpose of sitting in silence, whether alone or in
a group situation, is to allow the centering down process to take place,
to reach *below* the first reaction to another's ideas, for that deeper
connection, and then, if moved, to speak from that connection.  

Mary Loveless  hoosiers@carson.u.washington.edu
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All of my opinions are self-righteously my own and **certainly** have
nothing to do with the University of Washington.

"Outside of a dog, books are a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read"                    Groucho Marx
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: dws@ssec.wisc.edu (DaviD W. Sanderson)
Subject: Re: CNN does a piece on Smileys
Organization: UW-Madison Space Science and Engineering Center
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 03:59:01 GMT

In article <C0pM6A.871@wilber.rich.nt.com> rlbright@rich.nt.com writes:
>The Wall Street Journal also did an article on smileys. I can't
>remember when.  It was a couple of months back.

15 Sep 1992.  Front page.  That's how CNN latched onto the story.

DaviD W. Sanderson (dws@ssec.wisc.edu)

	"The Noah Webster of smileys is David Sanderson"
		- The Wall Street Journal, 15 Sep 1992
From: jim@studsys.mscs.mu.edu (James Phillips)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: CNN does a piece on Smileys
Date: 12 Jan 1993 06:03:18 GMT
Organization: Marquette University - Department MSCS
NNTP-Posting-Host: studsys.mscs.mu.edu

>>The Wall Street Journal also did an article on smileys. I can't

Readers Digest had a brief article on them about a year ago, as I recall.
Nothing big, just what they were and how they were used.  Interesting
for technophobes, I suppose.

-Jim Phillips
From: kennardn@phred.UUCP (Kennard Nielsen)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: a catch?
Date: 6 Jan 93 16:40:45 GMT
Reply-To: kennardn@phred.UUCP
Distribution: pnw
Organization: Physio-Control

paraphrased from a recent article read in Inc. magazine...

The CEO of a company was visited by the devil. The company was experiencing severe
foreign competition, plummeting market share, no new products and its employees were
disgruntled and unproductive.

The devil said he would increase the company's market share seven fold, cause foreign competition to wither, create wonderful new products and provide happy, productive employees. All the devil wanted was the entire management team's souls so he could take them to hell and burn forever.

The CEO thought deeply for a while. Scratching his chin he asked: "So what's the catch?"
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: misha@abacus.uucp ( MISHA GLOUBERMAN )
Subject: Request for Info: Army Man?
Organization: Cicma, Concordia University, Montreal, Quebec
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 07:29:47 GMT


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: arthurc@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu (Arthur Chandler)
Subject: Re: New Internet Farsides!
Organization: California State University, Sacramento
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 23:07:24 GMT

   A 4-panel Far Side:
  1) Tarzan sitting across from Jane. There are several empty chairs
around them. He is saying, "Me Tarzan. You
Jane."
   2) Same scene. "Me Tarzan.  You Jane."
   3) Same scene. "Me Tarzan. Uhh,  uhhh, you, uhhh..."
   4) Woman whips out flashcard with JANE printed on it.

 Caption: "Tarzan struggles to survive in the blackboard jungle."
From: gandalf@fnalf.fnal.gov
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Test........
Date: 7 Jan 93 00:29:51 GMT
Organization: Fermi National Accelerator Lab
NNTP-Posting-Host: fnalf.fnal.gov


        This is a test, only a test. If this was not a test you would
        expecting a joke. But since this is a test there is no joke only a
        test. This is only a test.
From: joemays@bsu-cs.bsu.edu (Joseph F. Mays)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: READ MY LIPS (PART 2)
Date: 7 Jan 93 21:17:06 GMT
Organization: Dept. of CS Ball State University Muncie IN

In article <19308@mindlink.bc.ca> Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark) writes:
>So I will conclude this one with a little (very
>little) humour

If it's not funny, don't bother...

>(and it's tasteless too)..

Oh, well that's different of course.  Go ahead.

Joe


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: garrett@Ingres.COM (WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS)
Subject: Re: Naeem: don't emulate american, its a ghastly accent
Summary: Give me a break  
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: language
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 6 Jan 93 02:53:16 GMT

In article <i3558.725901920@newsie>, i3558@newsie.dc.dk (Soren Michael Roug)                     writes...
>I seems to me that this discussion is mostly, if not completely carried
>out by americans. My advice to you is that if you want to improve your
>english language then learn the King's english, not those barbarian dialects
>the yanks choose to utter. 

First of all, someone from Alabama would be about as insulted if you called 
them a yank as an Scotish person would be if you called them an Englishman.
	Secondly, the English is one of the most basterdized languages
in the world. It's a mish-mash of a dozen different languages (and that's
not even including the multiple dialects in that tiny little island of yours.)
	If you start talking about proper english, you must define exactly
WHO'S english?

> And behold; In some restaurants
>they don't give people utensils to eat with.

You mean chopsticks.

>Venlig hilsen Soren Roug, <smr@dc.dk>                     DataCentralen
>Telefon: 43 71 81 22 Lokal 3820, Telefax 43 71 33 12      Oldenburg Alle 1
>						          2630 Taastrup
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: wolvie@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (christopher motherway)
Subject: Re: Test
Organization: Cybernet BBS, Boca Raton, Florida
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 19:19:50 GMT

struven@an.hp.com (Jeff Struven) writes:

> Payman Khalili (pka@engin.umich.edu) wrote:
> : In article <1993Jan5.164636.3686@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> s9000289@csdvax.cs
> : >In article <1992Dec19.062934.133234@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, cej0@ns1.cc.lehigh
> : >> In article <1992Dec18.143400.6456@bmerh85.bnr.ca>, coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr
> : >> id Smith) writes:
> : >>>In article <1992Dec18.020436.2148@news.arc.nasa.gov> nicholso@pioneer.ar
> : >> gov (Melvin H. Nicholson YBH) writes:
> : >>>>In article <BzF6E3.Lp7@cck.coventry.ac.uk> cei352@cck.coventry.ac.uk (T
> : >> k) writes:
> : >>>>>In article <1992Dec17.102719.13134@bsu-ucs> 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.ed
> : >> s:
> : >>>>>>In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Dan
> : >> man) writes:
> : >>>>>>> In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@eul
> : >> eley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
> : >>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (An
> : >> yman) writes:
> : >>>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (
> : >>  Orphanides) writes:
> : >>>>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Ca
> : >> uang) writes:
> : >>>>>>>>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyrami
> : >> Vilas Khare) writes:
> : >>>>>>>>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
> : >>>>>>>>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
> : >>>>>>>>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
> : >>>>>>>>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
> : >>>>>>>>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
> : >>>>>>>> This is starting to make me snore.
> : >>>>>>>is this the rec.humor people adore?
> : >>>>>>Or is it porn,which is hard core.?
> : >>>>>Haven't when been through all this before?
> : >>>>No, have some BEER and let me pour!
> : >>> Why have one when we can have four!
> : >>Get throughly pissed and sleep on the floor.
> : >Hilary Clinton loves Al Gore!
> Bill did Tipper now he's sore!

END THIS CASCADE, FOREVER MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Twyman)
Subject: Re: TEST! Ignore...
Organization: Choate Rosemary Hall
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 17:41:28 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.173658.9896@choate.edu> dsohl@spock.uucp (Daniel Sohl) writes:
>In article <8792.12049@stratus.SWDC.Stratus.COM> bruce@godzilla.swdc.stratus.com (Bruce Overby) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan5.182314.25897@choate.edu> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides) writes:
>>>In article <1738@anon.smurf.sub.org> 328@anon.smurf.sub.org (Anonymous User 328) writes:
>>>>This is a test is a test is a test is a test...
>>>Why don't we all just give it a rest?
>>It seems one more moron's escaped from the nest.
>I think the original post was a jest.
Oh boy, a thread.  I think they're the best.
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|  -"I have something to say.  It's better to burn out, than to fade away!"-  |
|                          -* THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE *-                        |
kurgan@choate.edu--------------------------------------------------------------
From: andy@cbnewsh.cb.att.com (andy.russo)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Headline Of The Week?
Keywords: sexual, smirk
Date: 6 Jan 93 20:10:40 GMT
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories - Holmdel, NJ - Jello Studies Group


	The following uses some naughty words.  If you're under 18,
or don't like smut, hit "n" for a special message now....

	For-real, actual headline:
	"Court To Hear Oral Arguments In Sodomy Case"
                       ^^^^
	Seems appropriate to me, but this sort of law really
blows.  Er, I mean it bites the big one.  Hey, can I say "bites"
on netnews?  What about HEADline?

	This is almost as bad as when that TV minister had a fling
with his secretary (Jessica Hahn), and the spokesperson said they
were going to "reVAMP the church."

Andy (Sodomy Can Turn Out To Be Trouble In The End) Russo
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: johnson@spectra.com (boyd johnson)
Subject: Re: READ MY LIPS (PART 2)
Organization: Spectragraphics Corporation
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 93 20:44:12 GMT

In article <1993Jan7.103435.1@gallua.gallaudet.edu> sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust) writes:
>In article <1993Jan7.142643.26908@rigel.econ.uga.edu>, skip@rosalyn.stat.uga.edu (Skip Gundlach) writes:
>> In article <1993Jan6.190954.1@gallua.gallaudet.edu> sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust) writes:
>>>In article <19308@mindlink.bc.ca>, Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark) writes:
>>>
>>>	If this is Robyn's type of humor I can see she will be right at home in
>>>rec.humor.funny
>>>
>>>		Good riddance!
>>>
>> C'mon, Scott, give the newbie a break!  Just cuz she/he (an assertion
>> in earlier commentary to the original post) didn't know about the
>> moderated group is no reason to turn on the flamethrower.  Where's
>> your compassion (OBJ)?
>> 
>
>	I've seen flamethrowers turned on over sillier things than this in my
>time on rec.humor. Point well taken, though. Robyn - I apologize for my 
>apparent lack of compassion for those poor suckers who are newbies to the 
>net. My flame was meant to equally fry the unfunny rec.humor.funny and the
>apology herein does _not_ apply to that half of the flame.

Robyn is no newbie.  A quick grep of my ~/News directory shows a couple
of her (or his) articles I saved from October, one from this group:

> From: Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark)
> Newsgroups: rec.humor
> Subject: Bumper Stickers
> Message-ID: <16411@mindlink.bc.ca>
> Date: 16 Oct 92 17:43:06 GMT

She also flamed me about a year ago in another group.  
I tried to reply via email, but my message was rejected by her host system.
I figured she wasn't worth replying to via Usenet.
I've seen several flames from her over the past year, though to her
benefit she did support the U.S. marines that raised her (Canadian) flag
upside-down at the World Series (the other October article I saved).

ObJokes (from Henry Cate III's Life):

A statistician refuses to fly after reading the alarmingly high
probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane. Later he
finds that the probability of there being two bombs on any given flight
is very low. Now whenever he flies, he always carries one bomb with
him.

A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was it true, the woman
wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for
the rest of her life ? She was told that it was. There was a moment of
silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how
serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'".

-- 
======== Boyd Johnson    nosc!spectra.com!johnson  San Diego, Ca. ========
From: jduncan@nmt.edu (John Duncan)
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes,rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bunch of baby jokes
Date: 11 Jan 93 08:28:01 GMT
Organization: New Mexico Tech

In article <1993Jan10.195102@IASTATE.EDU> acfrodo@IASTATE.EDU () writes:
>/Q. What's grosser than a barrell full of dead babies?
>/A. A barrell full of dead babies with one live on in it.
>
>add trying to eat its way out!

and he makes it !
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,soc.culture.usa
From: gb03@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (GEORGE PHILIP BLUHM)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Obscure joke
Date: 11 Jan 93 01:35:07 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <31640022@hpcuhe.cup.hp.com>, rinker@hpcuhe.cup.hp.com (Eric Rinker)
writes:
>
>You're the only one who knows what a fetlock is.
>

Obviously you do not know a horse behind from a hole in the ground, or rather
his leg.

Phylee THEE MacNasty
Organization: Freshman, CIT general, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 17:24:04 -0500 
From: Jason Paul Togyer <jt3y+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Occupations/Names (was interesting christian/surnames
Distribution: world

I still say that my all-time favorite is my old man's general practioner
in Belle Vernon, PA (south of Pittsburgh), Louis Pepper, D.O.  Dr.
Pepper, that is.  Not to mention the fact that he has red hair, as in,
"Red" Pepper.

Maybe his wife should answer the phone: "Good afternoon, Dr. Pepper's
office.  I'm a pepper, he's a pepper, wouldn't you like to be a pepper,
too?"


*******************************************************************
Jason Togyer, Civil Engineering, CMU (Carnegie Tech), Pittsburgh, Penn.
"It's broccoli, dear."
"I say it's spinach, and I say to hell with it!"
--'30s NEW YORKER cartoon caption by James Thurber
*******************************************************************
DISCLAIMER: I'm completely insane, and take no responsibility for my actions.
  For that matter, neither does any organization I'm involved in.
From: gvg@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Greg Goebel)
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 20:14:23 GMT
Subject: Re: CENSOR THIS?? HOLY SHIT PC GONE TOO FAR
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Loveland, CO
Newsgroups: rec.humor

   ______________________________________________________________________

   what the **** kind of PC puritans finf THIS newsgroup too Offensive
   HOLY ****!!! this aint nothin'
   if you have no sense of humor, get off!!!

   ****, man... there's porno tease on the evening news, and poeple are 
   getting mad at this newsgroup???
   some liberal ****heads have their ****ing heads up their ***** so far 
   they can see out their necks!!!!

   That wasn't meant for humor, but i think it serves good enough.
   so, no OB joke
   thank you and have a **** day :)

   ______________________________________________________________________

    This Note Now Approved By Netniks For Political & Other Correctness

                  Guaranteed Non-Offensive To Anybody
   ______________________________________________________________________


   Wile E. Coyote at the Acme Online Support Organization For The SouthWest

                     "ACME -- The Name You Can Trust!"
--
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 |                               DISCLAIMER                                   |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 |   Who cares what I think?  I don't take MYSELF seriously, why should you?  |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 | Greg Goebel                             NET:     gvg@hpislsup              |
 | Hewlett-Packard                         HP DESK: GREG GOEBEL               |
 | VXD Marketing                           PHONE:   Telnet/303 679-3424       |
 | POB 301 / MS-CU326 / Loveland CO 80539  FAX:     Telnet/303 679-5957       |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: pbaker@tbag.tscs.com (Pete Baker)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request: Poem about a Tree. (not limerick)
Date: 3 Jan 93 18:53:10 EST
Organization: Tampa Bay Amiga Group

On Sun  3-Jan-1993  6:50p,  wrote:
> >>     Someone asked me today if I knew any funny poems, not limericks,
> >>     on the topic of trees.  Any suggestions?  

The Frog 
By: Henry Gibson (Laugh-In circa 1966)

The thunder roared
The lightning flashed
The tree fell over
The frog got smashed

             Thank You

--- Via UCI v1.02 (C-Net Amiga)

            _
Pete Baker { }
          ( V-) -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
pbaker@tbag <or was it> tbag!pbaker@uunet.uu.net <maybe> pbaker@tbag.tscs.com
============================================================================= 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dlaro@lonestar.utsa.edu (David O. Laro)
Subject: Re: California is NOT representative of the US as a whole
Keywords: language
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 04:25:35 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.211351.21070@walter.bellcore.com> tld@cosmos.bellcore.com writes:

<lots of serious stuff, some junk, was omitted to get to this point)



>Small point:  82% of adult (18 years and above) `Californians' were born
>              and raised outside of California....  Check the last census...

   **** looks like only 18% of 'Californians' were actually born there.


>
>              73% of Californian vehicle (car/motorcycle) accidents
>              were caused by people who moved to Cal. from out of state,
>              and a full 85% of *those* accidents were caused by people
>              from the tri-state area (NY,NJ,CN)  - Survey reported on KYA
>              (San Fransisco) and repeated on CBS news about 3 years ago...
>--
     ***** But that 18% causes 27% of the vehicle accidents?   Boy are they
     lousy drivers!

was that what you were trying to demonstrate, Terry?  :-)



> Terry Davidson - tld@cosmos.bellcore.com / tld@cosmos.bae.bellcore.com


David
From: cwa@oasis.icl.co.uk (Chris Adams)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: The Hunting Song (Tom Lehrer)
Date: 11 Jan 93 17:28:17 GMT
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3

I was going to post this one a while back, but I couldn't remember the last
verse. When I went home to check the casette, the damn thing snapped on me!

Anyway, here's another one from the same tape (there are a couple of blanks
if anyone feels like filling them in)

Along the trail you find me lopein'
Where the spaces are wide open,
In the land of the ol' AEC. YAHOO!
Where the scenery's attractive,
And the air is radio active,
Oh the wild west is where I wanna be.

With the ???? and the cactus,
I'll watch the fellas practice,
Dropping bombs through the clean desert breeze. YAHOO!
I'll have on my sombriero,
And of course I'll have a pair of Levis,
over my lead beve jees(sp?)

I will leave the city's crush,
Leave the fancy and the plush,
Leave the snow, and leave the slush,
And the crowds.
I will see the desert's hush,
Where the scenery is lush,
How I long to see the mush-
Room clouds.

With the yukkas and the thistles,
I'll watch the guided missles,
While the ol' FBI watches me. YAHOO!
I'll soon make my appearance,
Soon as I can get my clearance,
'Cause the wild west is where I wanna be!

     .-----------------------------.----------------------------------.
     |   .  .     ____    _   _    | WARNING: This Superman suit does |
     |  /| /| .-.    /   |_| |_>   | not enable the wearer to fly.    |
     | / |/ | |     /___ | | |     `----------------------------------|
     |      aka Chris Adams                cwa@oasis.icl.co.uk        |
     `----------------------------------------------------------------'
From: vince.maiocco@satalink.com (Vince Maiocco)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: California is NOT rep
Date: 5 Jan 93 08:40:00 GMT
Reply-To: vince.maiocco@satalink.com (Vince Maiocco)
Organization: Datamax/Satalink Connection * Ivyland, PA (215) 443-9434

AR>One must eb thoroughly scooled in the true meaning of 

Just as I suspected... you're trying to pass, aren't you<G>?
L8r.


--- WinQwk 2.0 a#0
                                                                                                              
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark)
Subject: READ MY LIPS...
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 17:04:36 GMT

        If there is a moderator on "rec.humor" why the fuck isn't he (she or
it) doing his (her or it's) job by removing ALL offensive (non-humourous)
material.

        I logon to this group for only one (count 'em, ONE (1)) reason and
that's to read humour.  I am getting bloody sick and tired of having to wade
through political, religious, and other misc shit.  There is a place for this
crap and it's NOT on rec.humor so stick it where it belongs.  I can just
imagine what would happen if I attempted to post a nice juicy adult joke to
the religious group.

        I know I am NOT alone in this regard so my personal message to any
existing moderator is this... do your fucking job and do it properly or find
someone that will.

        If I sound slightly pissed off I apologize then I have not got my
message across... I am ROYALLY pissed off!  Please forward all flames to me
personally at:  Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca
From: bruce@godzilla.swdc.stratus.com (Bruce Overby)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: TEST! Ignore...
Date: 6 Jan 93 16:07:31 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc., San Jose, CA

In article <1993Jan5.185543.26092@choate.edu> dsohl@spock.uucp (Daniel Sohl) writes:
>In article <1738@anon.smurf.sub.org> 328@anon.smurf.sub.org (Anonymous User 328) writes:
>>This is a test is a test is a test is a test...
>
>Why does everybody always post tests here?
It seems that they sometimes make cascades appear.
Newsgroups: ou.general,rec.humor