From: c8923075@cc.newcastle.edu.au (Chris Baird)
Subject: alt.tv.simpsons Frequently Asked Questions (prelim. release)
Followup-To: poster
Summary: A file of questions & answers pertinent to the alt.tv.simpsons group.
Keywords: simpsons faq
Reply-To: c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au
Organization: Club Simpson Intl.
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 07:18:12 GMT
Expires: Tue, 3 Nov 1992 10:00:00 GMT

[This is a repost.  It seems the original failed to make it outside of
 Newcastle --cjb]

With Brendan Kehoe's acceptance of a cushy, but demanding job in
California, he has forwarded the duty of maintaining our newsgroup's FAQ
to Yours Truly,,

This is only a preliminary release before the regular periodic
cross-postings, etcetera, recommence this November -- several new chapters
are still in preparation, and I've yet to arrange some other dooley things
relating to FAQ posting..

-- 						   ``It was like that when
Chris J. Baird,, <c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au>  I got here!''  [7f11]

		       Thus followeth the FAQ.


[Last changed: 12-Oct-92]

	 FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (with answers) FOR ALT.TV.SIMPSONS

Posted on or about the first of the month to alt.tv.simpsons and the
Simpsons mailing list.

Maintained by Chris Baird (c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au)
	   with Brendan Kehoe (brendan@cygnus.com)
	   and Raymond Chen (rjc@math.princeton.edu).

Available via Usenet, the alt.tv.simpsons newsgroup is a free forum
for the discussion of the various aspects of the television show ``The
Simpsons''.  It's also available in mailing list form; write to the
address simpsons-request@cs.widener.edu to be added to the list.
There is also now a newsgroup named alt.tv.simpsons.itchy-scratchy.


		      - Table of Contents -

CHAPTER 1:  Lists, Lists, and More Lists

	1.1)  The Shows, The Boards, and The Couches
	1.2)  The Voices
	1.3)  Other lists, who posted them, and where to get them

CHAPTER 2:  Frequently Requested Files

	2.1)  The Simpsons Archive
	2.2)  What is "anonymous ftp" anyway?
	2.3)  ASCII pictures
	2.4)  Quotes/fortunes/program files
	2.5)  Where can I get graphics and sound files?

CHAPTER 3:  Questions

	3.1)  Didja notice...?	(Often abbreviated DYN.)
	3.2)  Who is MG?
	3.2a) How do I pronounce `Groening'?
	3.3)  Where did Matt Groening get the names for the Simpson family?
	3.4)  What's this about "annoying Republicans"?
	3.5)  Where is Springfield?
	3.6)  What does the ``J'' stand for in Homer J. Simpson?
	3.6a) How about Bartholomew J. Simpson?
	3.7)  Didn't I see/hear ... in ... ?
	3.8)  What phone pranks has Bart used on Moe of Moe's Tavern?
	3.8a) Where did the idea for them come from?
	3.9)  Why isn't ... in this FAQ ?
	3.10) Where do you get the episode titles from?
	3.11) Which one's Itchy & which is Scratchy?
	3.12) What are the three most important things to know in life?
	3.13) What's Simpsons Illustrated, and where can I get it?
	3.14) Where can I get the music from ``The Simpsons'' ?
	3.15) Are Burns/Smithers/Jacques/Karl gay or bisexual ?
	3.16) When did everything happen?
	3.17) Why isn't this rec.arts.tv.simpsons?
	3.18) Is my local station cutting the episodes?

===============================================================================

CHAPTER 1:  Lists, Lists, and More Lists

1.1) The Shows, The Boards, and The Couches

  The following episode information is an amalgamation of the various
   Simpsons Episode Guides produced by the following people (the
   filename for their submission in the Simpsons archive is enclosed
   in brackets):

     Michael L. Brown
     Eddy J. Gurney    (eddy@jafus.mi.org)
     Mark A. Holtz     (mholtz@sactoh0.sac.ca.us)   [air_dates & episode_guide]
     Brian T. Howard   (bhoward@neon.stanford.edu)
     Don Patrick       (syslep@pro-lep.cts.com)	    [program_guide]
     David Tamkin      (dattier@ddsw1.mcs.com)
     Bruce Watson      (bwatson@nyx.cs.du.edu)

  Those titles below with a * following them are episodes which actually
   gave their titles at the beginning or in the credits.  Those dates
   with a ** following them are older shows that were repeated *after*
   the new season started.


P.Code Episode (the blackboard) [the couch] {Notes} <Aired>
====== ========================================================================
			     - Season 1 -
7G08   Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire	<12/17/89, 12/23/89, 07/01/90,
       {No quote}				 12/19/91**>
						[No couch scene]
7G02   Bart the Genius				<01/14/90, 03/04/90, 05/27/90>
       (I will not waste chalk)			[Bart]
7G03   Homer's Odyssey				<01/21/90, 06/03/90, 08/30/90>
       (I will not skateboard in the halls)	[Couch collapses]
7G04   There's No Disgrace Like Home		<01/28/90, 03/11/90, 06/10/90,
       (I will not burp in class)		 08/30/92**> [Homer]
7G05   Bart the General				<02/04/90, 04/08/90, 07/22/90>
       {No board quote}				[No couch scene]
7G06   Moaning Lisa				<02/11/90, 04/22/90, 08/05/90>
       (I will not instigate revolution)	[Maggie]
7G09   Call of the Simpsons			<02/18/90, 05/06/90, 07/29/90>
       (I will not draw naked ladies in class)	[Nobody]
7G07   The Tell-Tale Head *			<02/25/90, 05/20/90, 08/23/90>
       (I did not see Elvis)			[Bart]
       {One lines as the view enters the classroom states ``I did see Elvis''}
7G11   Jacques to be Wild			<03/18/90, 07/15/90, 09/20/90,
       {No board quote}				 08/30/92**> [No couch scene]
       {This episode is also known as `` Life in the Fast Lane''; also,
	it was originally going to be ``Bjorn to be Wild'', but Albert
	Brooks couldn't get the Swedish accent right, so it became a
	French bowler}
7G10   Homer's Night Out			<03/25/90, 06/17/90, 09/06/90>
       (I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes') [Couch collapses]
7G13   The Crepes of Wrath			<04/15/90, 06/24/90, 09/13/90>
       (Garlic gum is not funny)		[Homer]
7G12   Krusty Gets Busted			<04/29/90, 08/19/90, 09/27/90>
       (They are laughing at me, not with me)	[Maggie]
       {The August 18, 1990, episode was the last at 8:30pm on Sundays; from
	then on, they aired on Thursdays at 8pm opposite The Cosby Show}
7G01   Some Enchanted Evening			<05/13/90, 08/12/90, 10/04/90>
       (I will not yell "fire" in a crowded	[Nobody]
	classroom)

			     - Season 2 -
7F03   Bart Gets An F				<10/11/90, 12/13/90>
       (I will not encourage others to fly)	[Couch falls through floor]
       (I will not fake my way through life)
       {The second board quote appeared in the middle of the show}
7F02   Simpson and Delilah			<10/18/90, 11/29/90, 06/06/91>
       (Tar is not a plaything)			[The family does a dance]
       {The dance at the beginning has been dubbed the ``Simpson Shuffle''}
7F04   Treehouse of Horror			<10/25/90, 12/27/90>
       {Halloween Special, no quote}		[No couch scene]
7F01   2 Cars in Every Garage, 3 Eyes on Every Fish
       (I will not Xerox my butt)		<10/01/90, 01/03/91,
       {For the third airing of this episode,	 06/25/92**>
	it was (It's potato, not potatoe), an	[Couch springs out into a bed]
	eleventh hour replacement to accommodate Vice President Quayle.
	Network 10 in Sydney, Australia, used the "I will not waste chalk"
	punishment from ``Bart the Genius'', to help it "fit [their] schedule"}
7F05   Dancin' Homer				<11/08/90, 01/17/91, 08/15/91>
       (I will not trade pants with others)	[Maggie appears from Marge's
       {Note that Network 10 in Australia ALSO	 hair]
	used "I will not waste chalk" for the board for THIS show too}
7F08   Dead Putting Society			<11/15/90, 03/21/91>
       (I am not a 32 year old woman)		[Santa's Little Helper and
						 Snowball II join everyone]
       {The board quote is obviously a joke about Nancy Cartwright}
7F07   Bart vs. Thanksgiving			<11/22/90, 05/23/91,
       (I will not do that thing with my tongue) 11/28/91**>
						[Grampa Simpson, already on the
						 couch, complains when everyone
						 wakes him up]
7F06   Bart the Daredevil			<12/06/90, 02/28/91, 08/29/91>
       (I will not drive the principal's car)	[Couch tips over because of
       {No blackboard on 12/6, none in US on	 Homer's weight; Maggie lands
	2/28, likely to make room for ``Do the	 on a cushion]
	Bart, Man'' on 12/6 and Fox's Gulf War Update on 2/28. Greg Patrick
	reported the 2/28/91 blackboard and also noted some extra scenes
	shown in Canada that had not been in the 12/6/90 airing}
7F09   Itchy & Scratchy & Marge			<12/20/90, 03/14/91, 09/12/91>
       (I will not pledge allegiance to Bart)	[Everyone runs in and looks
						 where the couch should be]
7F10   Bart Gets Hit By A Car *			<01/10/91, 04/04/91, 06/27/91>
       (I will not sell school property)	[After a brief struggle to
       {This does mention the title, and it	 fit, everyone gets bumped
	also says it's ``Episode 23''}		 off, except Homer]
7F11   One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish	<01/24/91, 05/16/91,
       (I will not cut corners)			 11/29/91**>
       ("  "	"   "	  "   )			[The couch tips backwards, then
       ("  "	"   "	  "   )			 Maggie pops up from behind it]
7F12   The Way We Was				<01/31/91, 05/30/91>
       (I will not get very far with this	[Couch falls through the floor
	attitude)				 {see 7F03}]
7F13   Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment	<02/07/91, 04/18/91, 08/01/91>
       (I will not make flatulent noises in	[The Simpson Shuffle {see 7F02}]
	class)
7F15   Principal Charming			<02/14/91, 07/18/91>
       (I will not belch the National Anthem)	[The couch springs open into
						 a bed {see 7F01}]
7F16   Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?		<02/21/91, 06/20/91>
       (I will not sell land in Florida)	[Maggie in Marge's hair {see
       {Preston Sturge's comedy ``Sullivan's	 7F05}]
	Travels'' told of a director who, desiring more serious work,
	created a film called ``Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?''}
7F14   Bart's Dog Gets An F			<03/07/91, 07/25/91,
       (Second airing: I will not sell school	 05/28/92**>
	property {see 7F10})			[1st time: see 7F08]
       {no blackboard and a VERY abbreviated	[2nd time: see 7F10]
	beginning, to give room for ``Deep, Deep Trouble'', in the first
	airing; the second had some new scenes}
7F17   Old Money				<03/28/91, 06/13/91>
       (I will not grease the monkey bars)	[Grampa waking up {see 7F07}]
       {This was the first episode since the end of the Gulf War to have
	a full-length beginning. Also [YAY!], the ending credits actually
	*listed* which voice artists did which characters}
7F18   Brush with Greatness			<04/11/91, 07/04/91>
       (I will not hide behind the Fifth	[Couch tips over at Homer's
	Amendment)				 end; Maggie & a cushion
						 end up where they started]
7F19   Lisa's Substitute			<04/25/91, 08/22/91,
       {no board; a very abbreviated beginning}	 08/08/92**>
						[Couch is missing {see 7F09}]
7F20   War of the Simpsons			<05/02/91, 08/08/91,
       (I will not do anything bad ever again)	 08/20/92**>
						[{see 7F10}]
7F21   Three Men and a Comic Book		<05/09/91, 08/25/91,
       (I will not show off)			 04/30/92**>
       {The board was written in an Old English [1st time: see 7F11]
	font; no board on the special 08/25/91	[2nd time: see 7F08]
	airing; on 04/30/92, it was (I will not sell land in Florida).
	On the 04/30/92 airing, there was a small blurb at the end with
	`Cosby 1984--1992'. Then Bart and Homer agree that a show should
	be milked for as much as it could get, and not leave at the peak
	of its success}
7F22   Blood Feud				<07/11/91, 09/05/91>
       (I will not sleep through my education)	[Couch thru floor {see 7F03}]

			     - Season 3 -
7F24   Stark Raving Dad				<09/19/91, 01/30/92>
       (I am not a dentist)			[They fall back thru the wall]
       {Before the opener with the second airing, there was a quick jab at
	President Bush's State of the Union address given two days earlier,
	when he spoke of American families being more like the Simpsons than
	the Waltons.  See the capsule for this episode for the details}
8F01   Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington		<09/26/91, 12/12/91>
       (Spitwads are not free speech)		[Homer sits on SLH]
7F23   When Flanders Failed			<10/03/91, 01/02/92>
       (Nobody likes sunburn slappers)		[They do a little dance]
8F03   Bart the Murderer			<10/10/91, 01/16/92, 07/23/92>
       {No chalkboard in US.  In Canada, it was [US: Couch is missing;
       (High explosives and school don't mix)	Can: They make a pyramid,
       (I will not bribe Principal Skinner)	 capped by Maggie]
	appears later during the show}
8F04   Homer Defined				<10/17/91, 02/27/92, 07/09/92>
       {No chalkboard; in Canada, it was	[Couch tips over, leaving Maggie
	(I will not squeak chalk)}		 on the floor; in Canada, it was
						 much more interesting; see the
						 capsule for more info]
8F05   Like Father, Like Clown			<10/24/91, 03/19/92>
       {No chalkboard in US; in Canada, it was	[Bart leaps onto everyone's lap]
	(I will finish what I sta)}
8F02   Treehouse of Horror II			<10/31/91, 08/13/92>
       {No chalkboard}				[No chalkboard]
8F06   Lisa's Pony				<11/07/91, 04/16/92>
       {None in US; in Canada, it was		[Homer lies down, and everyone
	("Bart Bucks" are not legal tender)}	 sits on him]
8F07   Saturdays of Thunder			<11/14/91, 04/02/92>
       {None in US; in Canada, it was		[The cushions are missing, but
	(Hamsters cannot fly)}			 they don't notice til it's too
						 late]
8F08   Flaming Moe's				<11/21/91, 03/05/92>
       (Underwear should be worn on the inside) [Burglars dump the family off
						 the couch & run away with it]
8F09   Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk		<12/05/91, 05/21/92>
       (The Christmas pageant does not stink)	[SLH growls threateningly, and
						 the family backs off]
8F10   I Married Marge				<12/26/91, 05/14/92>
       (I will not torment the emotionally	[All but Maggie cartwheel into
	frail)					 place & do a `Ta Da!' pose;
						 Maggie hops in & does same]
8F11   Radio Bart				<01/09/92, 04/30/92>
       (I will not carve gods)			[Everyone leaps onto the couch,
						 and bounces on the springs; their
						 positions change with each bounce]
8F12   Lisa the Greek				<01/23/92, 06/11/92>
       {No blackboard sequence}			[Homer sits on SLH (see 8F01)]
8F14   Homer Alone				<02/06/92, 05/10/92,
       (I will not spank others)		 09/17/92**>
						[Family forms a pyramid
						 {see 8F03}]
8F16   Bart the Lover				<02/13/92, 06/18/92>
       {No blackboard sequence}			[One-eyed monster {see 8F04}]
8F13   Homer At The Bat				<02/20/92, 07/16/92>
       (I will not aim for the head)		[Maggie gets the whole couch
						 after everyone collides and
						 falls down unconscious]
8F15   Separate Vocations			<02/27/92, 06/04/92>
       (I will not barf unless I'm sick)	[Bart leaps onto everyone's
       {The 27th was a two-fer, with shows at	 lap {see 8F05}]
	both 8 and 8:30 [in the US]}
8F17   Dog of Death				<03/12/92, 07/02/92>
       (I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's	[Everyone sits on Homer.
	[sic] lounge)				 {see 8F06}]
8F19   Colonel Homer				<03/26/92, 07/30/92>
       (I will not conduct my own fire drills)	[Cushions missing {see 8f07}]
8F20   Black Widower				<04/09/92, 06/07/92,
       (Funny noises are not funny)		 09/03/92**>
       {Usually referred to by the production	 [Burglars steal the couch
	title, "The Return of Sideshow Bob"}	{see 8F08}]
8F21   Otto Show				<04/23/92, 09/10/92**>
       {No blackboard sequence}			[SLH owns the couch {see 8F09}]
8F22   Bart's Friend Falls in Love		<05/07/92, 07/08/92>
       (I will not snap bras)			[Tips over and they crash
						 through the wall {see 7F24}]

			     - Season 4 -
8f23   Oh Brother can you spare two dimes?	<08/27/92>
       (I will not fake seizures)		[Everyone 'cept Maggie cartwheel
						 into position {see 8F10}]
8f24   Kamp Krusty				<09/24/92>
       (This punishment is not boring and	[Guest appearance by the
	meaningless)				 Flintstones]
8F18   A Streetcar Named Marge			<10/01/92>
       (My name is not Dr. Death)		[The couch turns into a monster]
9f01   Homer the Heretic			<10/07/92>
       (I will not defame New Orleans)		[The couch pivots around and the
       {Obviously prompted by the derogatory	 family disappears into a secret
	comments made during the previous	 passageway]
	week's episode}

			  - Not Yet Aired -
9F02   Lisa the Beauty Queen			<10/15/92>
9F03   Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie		<10/22/92>
9F04   Treehouse of Horror III			<10/29/92>
9F05   Marge Gets a Job				<11/05/92>
9F06   New Kid on the Block			<11/12/92>
9F07   Mr. Plow					<11/19/92>


1.2)  The Voices

  Starring:

	Nancy Cartwright	Bartholomew J. ``Bart'' Simpson,
				Nelson Mundt, Todd Flanders, Kearney
	Dan Castellaneta	Homer J. Simpson, Abraham J. ``Grampa'' Simpson,
				Krusty the Klown, Groundskeeper Willy
				Barney Gumbel, Diamond Joe Quimby,
				Scott Christian
	Julie Kavner		Marjorie ``Marge'' Bouvier Simpson
				Patty & Selma Bouvier, and Marge's mother
	Harry Shearer		Charles Montgomery Burns, Smithers,
				Principal Seymour Skinner, Dr. Marvin Monroe,
				Otto, Rev. Mr. LoveJoy, Ned Flanders, the Devil,
				Kent Brockman, Dave Glass (sports caster),
				Jasper, Herman, Dr. Julius Hibbert
	Yeardley Smith		Lisa Simpson
				Maggie Simpson (in The Tracey Ullman Show)

  Supporting:

	Hank Azaria		Apu, Moe, Dr. Nick Riviera, Smitty,
				Police Chief Wiggum
				Cabbie				[7F17]
				Professor John Fink		[7F17]
	Jo Ann Harris		?
	Phil Hartman		Lionel Hutz, Troy McClure
				Voice of Heaven			[7F10]
				Moses and assorted TV voices	[7F13]
				Plato				[7F17]
				Stockbroker			[8F09]
				Smooth Jimmy Apollo		[8F12]
	Pamela Hayden		Milhouse, Sylvia Winfield, many others
	Tress MacNeille		Adil Hoxha, many others
				Marge's friend in high school	[7F12]
	Maggie Roswell		Maude Flanders, Mrs. Hoover, MANY others.
	Russi Taylor		Martin, Sherri & Terri
	Marcia Wallace		Ms. Krabappel, Ms. Mellon, and
				Ms. Allbright (the Sunday School teacher)

  Guests:

	Aerosmith		themselves			[8F08]
	Steve Allen		Bart				[8F15]
	Tony Bennett		himself				[7F05]
	Wade Boggs		himself				[8F13]
	Albert Brooks		Cowboy Bob the RV Salesman	[7G09]
				Jacques				[7G11]
	Jose Canseco		himself				[8F13]
	Terry Cashman		himself				[8F13]
	Roger Clemens		himself				[8F13]
	Gabor Csupo		Maggie Simpson (sucking) [Tracey Ullman Show*]
	Danny DeVito		Herbert Powell			[7F16,8F23]
	Harvey Fierstein	Karl the Secretary		[7F02]
	June Foray		Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Baby-
				 sitting Service receptionist;
				 America's Most Armed and
				 Dangerous telephone operator	[7G01]
	Liz Georges		Maggie Simpson		 [Tracey Ullman Show*]
	Kelsey Grammer		Sideshow Bob			[7G12,8F20]
	Doris Grau		Della (Lionel Hutz's secretary) [7F10]
				Lunch Lady Doris		[8F05]
				the chapel clerk		[8F10]
	Ken Griffey, Jr.	himself				[8F13]
	Matt Groening		Maggie Simpson (voice)		[7F06]
	Christopher Guest	?				[8F21]
	Neil Patrick Harris	Himself (as Bart)		[8F03]
	Chuck Hearn		Lakers' announcer (Himself)	[8F04]
	Dustin Hoffman		Mr. Bergstrom			[7F19]
				{This was listed as "Sam Etic" in the credits;
				 apparently contract stipulations dictated that
				 Mr. Hoffman's name *not* be listed.}
	Michael Jackson		Himself				[7F24]
				{Billed as John Jay Smith.}
	Earvin ``Magic'' Johnson Himself			[8F04]
	James Earl Jones	Narrator for ``The Raven''	[7F04]
				Serak the Preparer		[7F04]
				the moving man
	Larry King		Bible-on-Cassette Narrator	[7F11]
	Kip Lennon		?				[7F24]
	Jon Lovitz		Artie Ziff			[7F12]
				Professor Lombardo		[7F18]
				Aristotle Amodopoulos		[8F04]
				Lou Allen Sinclair		[8F18]
	Joe Mantegna		Fat Tony, and himself		[8F03]
	Penny Marshall		Lucille Botzcowski (Miss Botz)	[7G01]
	Jackie Mason		Rabbi Hyman Krustofski		[8F05]
	Don Mattingly		himself				[8F13]
	Larry McKay		?				[8F07]
	Michael McKean		?				[8F21]
	Audrey Meadows		Beatrice ``Bea'' Simmons	[7F17]
	Joey Miyashima		Master chef			[7F11]
	Tom Poston		Capital City Goofball		[7F05]
	Catherine O'Hara	Waitress			[8F08]
	Alex Rocco		Roger Meyers, CEO of I&S Intl.	[7F09]
	Steve Sax		himself				[8F13]
	Mike Scioscia		himself				[8F13]
	Sab Shimono		Master chef's trainee		[7F11]
	Ozzie Smith		himself				[8F13]
	Ringo Starr		himself				[7F18]
	Daniel Stern		narrator			[7F21]
	Sting			himself				[8F11]
	Darryl Strawberry	himself				[8F13]
	Diana Tanaka		hostess at oriental restaurant	[7F11]
	George Takei		Akira, your waiter		[7F11]
				Akira, Karate instructor	[7F23]
	Russi Taylor		?				[8F07,8F11]
	Tracey Ullman		Miss Winthrop			[7F14]
	Frank Welker		Animal noises (?L)		[8F06]

  *Note: For the half-hour show, Maggie's sucking noise was replayed
	 from a synthesizer.

  All additions to the list of voices (especially for recent episodes)
   are welcomed with open arms.


1.3)  Other lists, who posted them, and where to get them

  The filename in the Simpsons archives is enclosed in brackets, if it's
   available.

   Shorts from the Tracey Ullman Show			[ullman_shorts]
    - Brian Howard (bhoward@neon.stanford.edu)
   Bart's telephone pranks				(later in the FAQ)
    - Don Patrick (syslep@pro-lep.cts.com)
   ``Treehouse of Horror'' Tombstones
    - Curtis Hoffmann (currmann@pnet51.org.mn.org)
   ``Treehouse of Horror'' Details			[treehouse_details]
    - Matt Stum (00MJSTUM@bsu-ucs.bsu.edu)
   States with Springfield
    - Eddie Anthony & Andrew Tannenbaum (trb@ima.isc.com)
   Miniature golf course in ``Dead Putting Society''	[golf_course]
    - Gregg Townsend
   Simpsons Who's Who					[cast_list]
    - Chip Page (chip@cs.widener.edu)
   Marge's Itchy & Scratchy list			[marge_list]
    - Jon Byrd (jon@apollo.med.utah.edu)
   Homer's "Dumb Things I Gotta Do Today"		[dumb_things]
    - Mike Straub (mikes@hcx3.ssd.csd.harris.com)
   Simpsons Trading Cards info				[card_list]
    - Brendan Kehoe (brendan@cs.widener.edu)
   Movie References					[movie_refs]
    - Raymond Chen (rjc@math.princeton.edu)
   Simpsons Pinball Machine Info			[pinball_info]
    - Steve Baumgarten (sbb@panix.com) &
      Joe Reeves (jreeves@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu)
   Henry VIII Lyrics					[henry_viii]
    - Joe Reeves (jreeves@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu)
   Simpsons Quiz					[quiz] and [answers]
    - John R. Donald (jdonald@oracle.com)
   Butchered in Australia (changes by Network 10)	[butchered_aussie]
    - Chris Baird (c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au)
   Excerpts from the Simpsons postcards			[post_cards]
    - Tom Wilson (wilson@osceola.cs.ucf.edu)
   Writers & Directors					[writers_directors]
    - Chris Baird (c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au)
   Simpson House Floor Plan				[floor_plan]
    - Chris Baird (c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au)
   Full Simpsons Quotes					[quotes]
    - Tom Warren (taw@springfield.cam.bellcore.com)
      and John P. Connolly (connolly@wam.umd.edu)
   Itchy & Scratchy Episode Guide			[ins_guide]
    - J. D. Baldwin (baldwin@usna.navy.mil)
   Bart vs the Space Mutants summary			[bart_v_mutants]
    - Raymond Chen (rjc@math.princeton.edu)


===============================================================================

CHAPTER 2:  Frequently Requested Files

2.1)  The Simpsons Archive

  An FTP site is being maintained at ftp.cs.widener.edu [147.31.254.132]
   for a lot of the information that's been posted on the group so far.
   The only restriction is that no graphics (GIF/PostScript/etc) files are
   being stored. The area is pub/simpsons. This FAQ is archived there.
   Also, all of Raymond Chen's information on each episode is stored in
   pub/simpsons/episodes.

  An email archive server is available for those people who do not have
   access to the Internet. Write to archive-server@cs.widener.edu with a
   Subject: line of "help" for info on how to use it. To get the latest
   list of stuff that's available, write "index simpsons". (For the list
   of episodes available, write "index episodes".)

  Also, Tom Warren's maintaining a shadow of the Simpsons archives on a
   Fidonet node at 908/297-5669, 8/n/1 9600@v.32.  There are also a few
   "magic" filenames---SIMP_AIR will yield the list of air dates, SIMP_EPG
   sends the episode guide, SIMP_FAQ sends the FAQ, and SIMP_QUO sends the
   quotes program.  Write tom@f355.n107.z1.ieee.org for further
   information.


2.2)  What is "anonymous ftp" anyway?

  Anonymous ftp is a method for obtaining files from other machines over
   the Internet.  Ask your system administrator for instructions, since
   the details vary from place to place.  When you ftp, remember that
   somebody else is paying for your obsession, so keep your connections to
   a minimum.  Also, don't ftp overseas unless you *really* have to.


2.3)  ASCII pictures

  The most infamous (but not necessarily the best) ASCII rendition of
   the Simpsons was created by John Schulien (U21187@UICVM.bitnet)
   on 14 Apr 90 and originally posted to rec.music.gdead (!).

                           (####)
                         (#######)
                       (#########)
                      (#########)
                     (#########)
                    (#########)
    __&__          (#########)
   /     \        (#########)   |\/\/\/|     /\ /\  /\               /\
  |       |      (#########)    |      |     | V  \/  \---.    .----/  \----.
  |  (o)(o)       (o)(o)(##)    |      |      \_        /       \          /
  C   .---_)    ,_C     (##)    | (o)(o)       (o)(o)  <__.   .--\ (o)(o) /__.
   | |.___|    /____,   (##)    C      _)     _C         /     \     ()     /
   |  \__/       \     (#)       | ,___|     /____,   )  \      >   (C_)   <
   /_____\        |    |         |   /         \     /----'    /___\____/___\
  /_____/ \       OOOOOO        /____\          ooooo             /|    |\
 /         \     /      \      /      \        /     \           /        \

  A collection of other pictures is available via the Widener archive
   server in the file `ascii_pix'.


2.4)  Quotes/fortunes file

    The Simpsons Fortune program (latest version is 465) for IBM PCs
    is available for anonymous ftp from:

    ftp.cs.widener.edu		       pub/simpsons		 simp465.zip
    ftp.uni-koeln.de		       msdos/textutils		 simp465.zip
    garbo.uwasa.fi		       pc/util			 simp465.zip
    rigel.acs.oakland.edu	       pub/msdos/txtutl		 simp465.zip
    sol.deakin.oz.au		       pub/PC/chyde/util	 simp465.zip
    ftp.informatik.rwth-aachen.de      pub/rz.archiv/simtel/msdos/txtutl
								 simp465.zip
    wsmr-simtel20.army.mil	       pd1:<msdos.txtutl>	 simp465.zip
    wuarchive.wustl.edu		       mirrors/msdos/txtutl	 simp465.zip

    The Widener FTP site will be the main distribution site for new versions
     of the fortune program.
    If your site does not have FTP available, send mail to Dave Komatsu
     at komatsu@aludra.usc.edu and he'll send the Fortune program
     directly to you.
    A fortune program for Unix using Simpsons quotes is also available on
     the Widener ftp site.  [It's in the process of being revised.]
    A game for the Amiga is apparently available in:
		 ab20.larc.nasa.gov:/amiga/games/action/simpsons.lzh
		 minnehaha.rhrk.uni-kl.de:/pub/amiga/games


2.5)  Where can I get graphics and sound files?

  A compendium of information is available in the Widener archives, under
   the name 'graphics_n_sounds'. It contains detailed information on files
   that're available from various sites that provide graphics (Gif, MS
   Windows, Sun Raster, X bitmap) and sound files (Sun, Mac, PC) for
   public transfer.

===============================================================================

CHAPTER 3:  Questions

3.1)  Didja notice...?

    ... everybody has only three fingers and a thumb on each hand?
    ... whenever police are part of the story, it's the same two cops (who
	both have pigs' snouts)?
    ... Homer works in Sector 7-G at the power plant?
    ... according to ``Itchy & Scratchy & Marge'', Kent Brockman got the
	Emmy he was after in ``Bart vs Thanksgiving''?
    ... Dr. Hibbert and his family are strikingly similar to the Huxtables
	from ``The Cosby Show''?
    ... that Mr. Burns lives at the corner of Croesus & Mammon? [Mammon,
	whose name implies "riches", was a daemon of "cupidity" made by
	the fallen angel Milton; Croesus was a king of Lydia in the 6th
	century B.C. and was well-known for his vast wealth. -- Gerald
	Hough <libros@maxwell.physics.purdue.edu>]
    ... whenever there's an establishing shot of the nuclear plant, you
	hear a crow call?

    [in the title sequence]

    ... that Bart's blackboard punishment changes from show to show?
    ... that there are really people who're interested in where Bart
	cuts off during his punishment, for whatever reason?
    ... that different things happen when the family runs to the couch?
    ... that the cash register says that Maggie costs $847.63?
    ... that the ad on the side of the bus [in the first season] was for
	none other than Duff Beer?
    ... that Marge runs through a stop sign?
    ... Lisa's saxophone solo varies during the third and fourth seasons?

    [also, in the title sequence for the second season]

    ... that Lisa now plays a baritone sax instead of a tenor?
    ... that Marge is reading ``Mom Monthly'' at the checkout?
    ... all the stuff that flashes by in the very fast pan of Springfield?
	 (Regards to Raymond Chen and David Tamkin)
	 In the park: Milhouse is throwing a baseball;
		   Bullies (including Nelson Mundt from ``Bart the
		   General'') have tossed a kid head-first into a garbage
		   pail -- only his legs are visible;
		   The bullies in ``The Tell-Tale Head'' (the tall thin
		   one with the skull-and-crossbones tee-shirt and
		   the fat bald one) are harassing Martin (the Poindexter);
	 The next yard: Patty and Selma are sunbathing;
		   The twins [Sherri and Terri] are walking across the yard to
		   the park;
	 Springfield Retirement Castle:
		   Grampa Simpson, Jasper, and another guy (Herman?)
		   are gawking at Patty and Selma, but Grampa's
		   holding a book, in case anybody catches him;
		   The Emmy-winning Kent Brockman (accompanied by
		   his camera man) are taping;
	 The road: Dr. Marvin Monroe and Dr. Hibbert have clipboards poised.
		   The school bus is parked with Wendell (looking
		   rather ill) hanging his head out of the rear
		   window; Otto's leaning against the front of the
		   bus, taking a break from changing the front tire;
		   The two cops (the only cops that've appeared in the
		   show so far [see 3.1]) are standing behind a police
		   barricade; the white one is wielding his nightstick.
	 The Flanders Home: Maude, Ned, and Todd play with birds.  Maude
		   has just let a bird fly away, and Ned has a bird
		   perched on his outstretched finger. How amazingly
		   Flanders-like!
	 The Simpson Home: Homer's workbench is in the garage (continuity
		   error -- see ``Itchy & Scratchy & Marge''), and there's
		   an empty shelf.
    ... that Mr. Burns shakes his watch when the 5:00 whistle blows at 3:00?
	(Homer leaving at 3 is how he and Bart end up at home at the same time)
    ... in ``Do The Bart, Man'' that the line is
		  "I'm the one who made delinquency an art" ?
	(he didn't "put the C" in anything)

    [if your fingers do the walking ...]

    ... Homer's phone numbers, according to Principal Skinner's rolodex card,
	are:
		Before ``Simpson & Delilah''	After
	 Home:	555-6528			555-6832
	 Work:	555-7334			555-6754

	and that you can reach Moe's Tavern at 555-1239 (happy "hour"
	is from 5:00 to 5:30.) ?

    [in Life in Hell ...]

    ... Akbar and Jeff were sporting various hair styles, including
	the "Marge Simpson" ?
    ... The Lombardo Method [7F18] is startlingly similar to ``How to
	Draw Binky'' ?
    ... Bart Simpson makes several cameos in ``Childhood is Hell''.

    [in this FAQ ...]

    ... that a lot of this information was never Frequently Asked? Hehe.


3.2)  Who is MG?

    MG is Matt Groening, creator of ``The Simpsons'' and ``Life in Hell''.

3.2a) How do I pronounce `Groening'?

  In one of the Life In Hell strips, MG mentioned that it rhymes with
   `complaining'.  (The High German pronunciation would be more clearly
   described as being between `groaning' and `grayning'; however, since
   it's his name, we must pronounce it as he wishes, linguistic purity
   notwithstanding.)  Also in an interview on the television show
   ``Personalities'', the reporter consistently pronounced it `grayning'.


3.3)  Where did Matt Groening get the names for the Simpsons family?

  Homer and Margaret [``Marge''] are the names of his parents [Mrs.
   Simpson is Marjorie]; Matt Groening's son is also named Homer. His
   siblings are (in birth order) Mark [unused so far], Patty [one of Marge
   Simpson's sisters], <then came Matt>, Lisa, and Maggie (named Margaret
   like her mother but called Maggie).	The name Bart, on the other hand,
   was chosen because it is an anagram of `brat'.  (Thanks to David Tamkin
   for cleaning this up.)


3.4)  What's this about "annoying Republicans"?

  MG has mentioned in interviews that one of his goals is to annoy as many
   Republicans as possible.


3.5)  Where is Springfield?

  "Springfield" is a fictional location.  MG says he chose the name
    because it is one of the most common city names.  (Many people like to
    point out the irony that Springfield was the setting of the antithesis
    to the Simpsons, ``Father Knows Best''.)

   Further evidence points at the fictitious nature of Springfield:
       The state's capital is "Capital City";
       The state's flag is three horizontal stripes;
       The state's motto is "Not Just Another State";

   As far as we've found, no state in the USA has these properties.

   Many people will cite the employee information sheet in
    ``Simpson and Delilah'' that has "NC".  But eagle-eyed viewers will
    note that this was Homer's place of birth, *not* his current address.

   Others talk about the zip code in ``Principal Charming'' (90701) as
    being in Artesia, California; some have suggested this is simply
    because MG lives in the area, and isn't a clue that the Simpsons live
    in CA.  (Sacramento looks nothing like Capital City, to begin with.)

   [Even-more-eagle-eyed viewers will notice that on the box for "sex",
    Homer checked "F", then erased it and marked "M".  And super-sharp-
    eagle-eyed viewers will notice that he filed the Employee Copy of the
    form!  What a Homer!]


3.6) What does the ``J'' stand for in Homer J. Simpson?

  Matt Groening says that Homer's middle initial is a token of admiration
   for Rocky and Bullwinkle (Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose),
   whose own J's were in honor of their creator, Jay Ward.

3.6a) How about Bartholomew J. Simpson?

  In the ``Simpsons Rainy Day Fun Book'', it states that Bart's middle
   initial stands for ``Jebediah'', and not ``JoJo'', as was previously
   reported by Sharon Crichton (sharonc@meaddata.com).	Yet, her claim was
   backed up by the appearance of ``JoJo'' in a Simpsons periodical. One
   can only guess that some facts got lost when the Rainy Day Fun Book was
   made.


3.7)  Didn't I see/hear ... in ... ?

    Nancy Cartwright	    Cheers, The Twilight Zone--The Movie, Yellow Pages,
			    Rugrats
    Dan Castellaneta	    Adventures of Dynamo Duck, Married with Children,
			    Sibs, The Tracey Ullman Show, War of the Roses,
			    Working Trash
    Julie Kavner	    Awakenings, Bad Medicine, Hannah and Her Sisters,
			    Katherine, New York Stories, No Other Love,
			    Radio Days, Revenge of the Stepford Wives,
			    Rhoda, Surrender, The Tracey Ullman Show
    Yeardley Smith	    Brothers, City Slickers, Herman's Head (Louise),
			    Legend of Billy Jean, Square One TV, Sydney,
			    Listen to Me, Maximum Overdrive, Heaven Help Us,
			    Murphy Brown
    Hank Azaria		    Herman's Head (Jay)
    Harry Shearer	    Animalympics, Hometown Boy Makes Good,
			    Murphy Brown, Oscar, Plain Clothes, Pure Luck,
			    Real Life, The Right Stuff, Saturday Night Live,
			    This Is Spinal Tap!, a host of `Talk Live!'
    Tress MacNeille	    Many cartoons (incl. Tiny Toon Adventures,
			    Opus & Bill)


3.8)  What phone pranks has Bart used on Moe of Moe's Tavern?

	7G03:  Hey, everybody, I. P. Freeley!
	7G06:  Hey, everybody, I need a Jock Strap.
	7G01:  Is there an Al Coholic here?  ... and ...
	       I wanna see Oliver Klose-off.
	7F11:  I wanna Seymour Butts.
	7F14:  C'mon, one o' you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual.
	7F22:  Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
	8F08:  Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
	8F09:  Come on guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?

3.8a) Where did the idea for them come from?

  An album called ``The Tube Bar'' was recorded some time ago, comprised
   of nothing but real prank phone calls. (Like Al Coholic, etc.)


3.9)  Why isn't/aren't ... in this FAQ?

  lists of scripts	Since Twentieth-Century Fox explicitly forbids any
			retransmission or duplication of the scripts for
			the Simpsons show, it'd be totally illegal.  The
			line ``Deep Deep Trouble'' comes to mind.


3.10) Where do you get the episode titles from?

  Some newspapers print the episode titles.  For titles of episodes not
   yet aired, we are indebted to Brian Howard, who was able to get
   ``inside'' information.  (He's since married his source, and made her
   move out of L.A.  Such priorities!)
  Two of the episodes (as noted in section 1.1, ``The Tell Tale Head'' and
   ``Bart Gets Hit By A Car'') actually included their titles; it is,
   however, rare to see them actually named when broadcast.


3.11) Which one's Itchy & which is Scratchy?

  As Lisa and Bart explained to Herb Powell:
      Lisa:  "The mouse's name is Itchy, and the cat's name is Scratchy."
      Bart:  "They *hate* each other."
      Lisa:  "And they're not shy about expressing it."


3.12) What are the three most important things to know in life?

  In ``One Fish, Two Fish ...'', Homer tells Bart that the three most
   important things he'll have to know in life are:
		- "Cover for me";
		- "Oooh, good idea, boss!"; and
		- "It was like that when I got here."


3.13) What's Simpsons Illustrated, and where can I get it?

  Simpsons Illustrated is a quarterly "fan" magazine for people who enjoy
   The Simpsons, and is currently available in the USA and Australia; it
   holds all sorts of tasty bits, including shots of the studio, trivia,
   and other information.  In addition to the four quarterly issues, a
   Simpsons Annual is also published.

   North Americans can subscribe to it by sending $10.50 to:
		Simpsons Illustrated
		P.O. Box 10195
		Des Moines, IA 50340
   For subscription enquires in Australia and New Zealand, write to:
		Simpsons Illustrated
		P.O Box A276
		Sydney South, NSW 2000


3.14) Where can I get the music from ``The Simpsons'' ?

  The CDs for ``The Simpsons Sing the Blues'' and ``The Yellow Album'' are
   available in most music stores.  They do not, however, have the title
   music, which appears on Danny Elfman's CD, ``Music for a Darkened
   Theatre''.  A longer, guitar version is on Danny Gatton's disc ``88
   Elmira Street''. The Simpsons also have a maxi-single version of
   ``Deep, Deep Trouble'' and ``Sibling Rivalry''.  It includes the original
   version of both songs plus two remixes of ``Deep, Deep Trouble''.
   (Info courtesy of Phil Salomon <pjs29326@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu>.)


3.15) Are Burns/Smithers/Jacques/Karl gay or bisexual ?

  Everyone enjoys debating over whether or not certain characters are
   exhibiting sexual characteristics that fit into one group or another.
   For example, Karl, Homer's secretary in ``Simpson and Delilah'', was
   classified as homosexual because he was slightly effeminate and gave
   Homer a kiss.  Also, the relationship between Monty Burns and Smithers
   constantly swings between "old friends" and "lovers".  It's up to each
   individual viewer to decide for himself or herself how to interpret
   these kinds of situations. (At least, until it becomes blatantly obvious.)


3.16) When did everything happen?

      1955 1956	  1974-1975 1979 _1980	  1989
	|   |	    |	     |	|	    |
 ...  --+---+-------+--------+--+-----------+------- ...
	|   |	    |	     |	+-Bart born +--Tenth Anniversary
	|   |	    |	     +--Married
	|   |	    +--They graduate High School
	|   +--Marge born
	+--- Homer Born


3.17) Why isn't this rec.arts.tv.simpsons?

  The rec.arts.tv hierarchy is intended for television series that have
   "Staying" power (aka will be around 5 years from now).  As a result, a
   goodly number of people object to the creation of a Simpsons group in
   the higher-propagated rec hierarchy, because they feel it won't be
   around in a few years.  Tsk tsk!


3.18) Is my local station cutting the episodes?

  Probably not, unless you're from Australia.  The abridgement of the
   title sequence is done by FOX.  Canadian viewers, who don't get the
   episodes through FOX, are usually granted the pleasure of a full title
   sequence each week.


===============================================================================

			      Thus endeth the FAQ.