From: otto@vaxb.acs.unt.edu (M. Otto, "Virtual Prisoner of the VAX")
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d,alt.transgendered
Subject: Sore loser, of sorts:  SRS
Date: 16 Nov 92 20:02:22 GMT
Article-I.D.: vaxb.1992Nov16.140222.1
Organization: University of North Texas



Note crossposting.  Edit your followups appropriately.

I sent this question to the Oracle three times, and got three different
answers, probably from three different incarnations.  I thought the last of
the three was good enough to make the Oracularities, but it was not fated
to be.

alt.transgendered readers:  Check out Oracularities digest #501 recently
posted to rec.humor.oracle.  My question wasn't in there, but there were
some other interesting items.

The attitude expressed in the first reply is kind of hostile, but that can be
excused because the answer is supposed to be humorous.


begin included messages:


The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oh wise Oracle, who never lets a question go unanswered, who knew what my
> question would be long before the day my grandmother was born, please grant
> me an answer to my question:
> 
> To which doctor should I go for sexual reassignment surgery?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Your best bet (and society's) is to go to Dr. Jack Kervorkian.
} No, really.  _Trust_ me on this.
} 
} You owe the Oracle your watch (you won't be needing it).

--------


And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Frankenstein.  Nobody else is willing to try brain transplants for the
} ultimate sex-change.
} 
} Or try posting your question to alt.transgendered.
} 
} You owe the Oracle a change of underwear.

--------


And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Now why trust anything that serious to a doctor?  I say go the
} "Do-it Yourself" route..
}  
} % uomd
} Usenet Oracle Medical Database
} Copyright (c) 300 B.C. Divine Industries Interdimentional
}  
} Enter Species:  HOMOSAPIEN
} ==> Loading.. Done.
} Search Topic:  SEX CHANGE
} ==> Searching.. Done.
} ==> 1107 articles found.
} Additional search info (ENTER = show all):  SURGERY
} ==> Searching.. Done.
} ==> 961 articles found.
} Additional search info (ENTER = show all):  DO-IT YOURSELF
} ==> Searching.. Done.
} ==> 1 article found.
} Additional search info (ENTER = show all):
} Creating Report.. Done.
}  
}    Entry: 1 of 1
}    Title: The Complete Guide to an at Home Sex Change
}  Subject: Sex Change Surgery
} Keywords: Sex change, Do-it yourself, Personal Improvements, Surgery,
}           Cheap, Genetalia Removal, Self-Mutilation
}  
} The Loose Tooth Method:
} ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
} Obtain a length of wire or twine.  Tie one end to genitals.  Tie other end
} to doorknob on open door.  Make sure cord is taut.  Slam door.
}  
} Note that this can also be acomplished in a similar fashion by tying the
} other end to a cinder block instead of a door knob, and throwing the block
} off of a cliff or tall building.   However, this method has proved fatal
} in many instances where, at the last moment, an individual has changed
} his mind and jumped after the block.
}  
}  
} The "Look over there.. whoops, was that your penis?" method:
} ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
}  
} ^C--Terminated.
}  
} Hmmm.. I think you get the general idea.
}  
} You owe the Oracle a second thought.

--
         __ ____ __      otto@vaxb.acs.unt.edu
 /|/|   / / / / / /  A virtual prisoner of the VAX     // I'm sorry; my karma
/   |. /_/ / / /_/  at The University of North Texas \X/  ran over your dogma
                             Denton, USA
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d