From: 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: You Might Be Considered a RED NECK if....
Date: 10 Nov 92 00:25:07 GMT
Article-I.D.: bsu-ucs.1992Nov9.192507.11679
Organization: The Corporation.

In article <1dkejpINNcvj@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, aas7@po.CWRU.Edu (Andrew A. Spencer) writes:
> 
> In a previous article, mike@mote.Berkeley.EDU (Mike Friedrich) says:
> 
>>In article <roelle.719516754@uars_mag> roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle) writes:
>>>chorley@vms.ocom.okstate.edu writes:
>>>
>>>>In article <92290.091108DXS8@psuvm.psu.edu>, Danette Smith <DXS8@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>>>>>  1.  Your front porch collapses and you kill more than 6 dogs.
>>>>>  2.  You've even used lard in BED.
>>>>>  3.  You think potted meat on saltines is a HORS D' OEUVRE.
>>>>>  4.  There is a stuffed possum mounted somewhere in your house.
>>>>>  5.  You consider a six-pack & a bug zapper as quality entertainment.
>>>>>  6.  Less than half the cars you own run.
>>>>>  7.  Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling
>>>>>      the state trooper to kiss off.
>>>>>  8.  The primary color of your car is "Bondo"
>>>>>  9.  You honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive
>>>>>      tongue gestures.
>>>>> 10.  Your family tree doesn't fork.
>>>>> 11.  You've hollered "ROCK THE HOUSE, BUBBA" during a piano recital.
>>>>> 12.  Your mother has never been involved in a fist fight at a high school
>>>>>      sports events.
>>>>> 13.  You've even barbecued SPAM on the grill.
>>>>> 14.  Your neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lighting.
>>>>> 15.  Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
>>>>> 16.  The rear tires are twice as wide as your front ones.
>>>>> 17.  You consider "Outdoor Life" as deep reading.
>>>>> 18.  The diploma hanging in your den has "Trucking Institute" somewhere
>>>>>      on it.
>>>>> 19.  Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
>>>>> 20.  You've even worn a tube top to a wedding.
>>>>> 21.  You think "DOM PERIGNON" is a Mafia leader.
>>>>> 22.  Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening
>>>>>      on the lube rack.
>>>>> 23.  You think a VOLVO is part of woman's anatomy.
>>>>> 24.  You've been too drunk to FISH.
>>>>> 25.  You've had a rag for a gas cap.
>>>>> 26.  You've even used a Weed Eater inside.
>>>>> 27.  You have shackles on the rear of your car.
>>>>> 28.  Your idea of sexual foreplay is telling you female partner "GET YOUR
>>>>>      CLOTHES OFF B*TCH".
>>>>> 29.  You wear white socks with black pants and have a car with a rebel flag
>>>>>      in the back.
>>>>> 
>>>
>>>>30. Your brother-in-law buys a new home and invites you over to help him 
>>>>take the wheels off
>>>
>>>>31. You think of a family gathering as a good place to meet babes.
>>>
>>>32.  Your mother-in-law is your daughter.  (think about that a minute...)
>>
>>33.  The sign, "Say no to crack" reminds you to pull up your pants in the
>>     back.
>>
> 34. You own a tricycle with a gun rack on it.
> 
> 35. You've ever made love in a satellite dish.
> 
> 36. One of your sister's educational goals is  to graduate before becomming 
>          pregnant.
> 
> 37.  You had to open the door to turn on the light after having sex.

 38. Your family tree looks like a telephone pole.
> ***************************************************************************
> contrary to popular opinion, all rednecks are NOT married to their sisters
> and have seen a UFO.....I'm just dating myne and couldn't swear it wasn't
> a weather baloon!
> ****************************************************************************
> police officer to man in truck:
> 
> 'scuse me sir?..do you know why i pulled you over?
> 
> well..no, i don't need a cold beer, and i don't think you need another one
> either!
> 
> well, sir..it's about that veeHICul yer towin'...
> 
> no sir, it's not illegal to tow a boat, but we do require that it be on a 
> trailer!
>  
> could you ask yer friends to get out of the boat, sir?
> 
> hell, i don't car if the fish are bitin'!
> you lost yer skiier a mile back!
> *************************************************************************
> 
> email any response to aas7@po.cwru.edu
> thanx
> (no, it's not original..so what?)
> DREW
> -- 
> ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
> ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
> ?????????????????????????????????-----whatever!
-- 

 ______________________________________________________________________________
|Kyle S. Davis 
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