HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mcmorris@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (brandywine)
Subject: Karla's death
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 05:21:20 GMT

I spoke with Scott before he left for Georgia and the funeral....
I don't know all the details and he promised to post them upon his
return....
but, it was complecations due to lung problems... it was not suicide,
but she waited to long to seek medical attension....
he gave me permission to post it if the question arrose....

I think that mourning is HARD... and i know that it is one of my
issues.... I didn't know her well.... but I will miss her too... and
the sad part is that I am not sure how any of us can express that....

but here it goes.... A poem for Karla....

I saw your promise... of a joy... of a nightmare turned to light
you faced the unfacable and tried beyond measure...
a beacon for us all to see
I will miss you

I will miss your posts that come across unseen wires
your words travelled the world sharing your pain
and trying to ease mine....

Those words, which twenty years ago could not have been said or sent
changed me
helped me
challenged me
and made me look again at the child within...
with a new vision....

Your death is sad... 
And your life, which could have been another tragedy of repeatition,
would not have been
because of you, the might-have-beens have changed

And, even tho, your children will never walk the world 
free of your familial curse
Mine might
because of what you shared

I love you for it
and I wish your spirit well
As it travels onward, upward

I send you whatever I may
to help you
as you helped me
beyond measure
with your quiet strength


-brandywine
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: blaze@westmark.Stanford.EDU (Suki)
Subject: Re: mpd
Organization: Stanford University
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 02:41:07 GMT

In article <1992Sep30.213456.24153@unislc.uucp> erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:
>Uh, "cult abuse"?  I wasn't aware that this was at all the case - the stats
>I've seen say that "cult abuse" and such are very rare, except in the minds
>of those who either have an axe to grind or have something to gain from running
>around screaming "The Satanists are everywhere!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH!!!!!!  Sorry, I just had to get that off of
my chest.  

	I'm trying to figure out how to say this without going into serious
rage here.  You just pushed a button.  ANYONE WHO CLAIMS TO HAVE BEEN 
SEXUALLY ABUSED SHOULD BE BELIEVED!!!! Excuse my yelling, but statements
like "except in the minds..." piss me off, because they further disbelief,
and HURT those who have heard that the abuse was not real.  

	Cult abuse survivors have some of the most painful stories I have
ever heard.  It generally starts at a very young age, and continues for
a long time.  One of the more common ways that people (children) survive
cult abuse is to go multi....

	I feel better now.  Sorry about the vent....

		-Suki

-- 
	>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Suki<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
		    blaze@westmark.stanford.edu  or
		 anonymus+284@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Test
From: anonymus+946@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 21:02:13 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service

Just a test.  Sorry to waste bandwidth.

--
To use this service, send mail to (note misspelling, "anonymus"):
Anonymous posting:	anonymus+<name.of.news.group>@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Anonymous mail:		<user's alias>@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Test path/get alias:	anonymus+ping@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Assign nickname:	anonymus+nick@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu	(in Subject:)
Anon administrator:	anonymus+0@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu	(anonymously)
			anonymus+admin@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu	(non-anon)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: cryst@belay (Crystal Bell)
Subject: Goodbye..
Organization: Belay Enterprises Inc. Calgary, Alberta, Canada
        Hi ummm, first of all I want to say that it is nothing anyone has
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 03:44:21 GMT

said or done.... I just have to let my past go and when I read ASAR It comes
back to me... Anyways, thanks to all of you for being there for me.
        There comes a time in one's life when they have to let go of their 
past and get on with their lives... I will post if I ever need to talk,
but right now I think that I should do just that.. Get on with my life, 
(at least until next summer when it all comes back again.)

        Right Now things in my life are going so well. I have a job, 
I have met a terrific guy and we're seeing eachother, he promises not to 
pressure me into anything. and when I told him about my past he didn't 
feel sorry for me, unlike everyone else (almost) 
        I will read asar occasionally and maybe reply, I hope all of you 
can survive everything you have been through.  


E-Hugs to all of you who can accept them, and If anyone ever needs to talk
just E-mail me at:
                Cryst%belay@uunet.uu.net
Take care      
                                        **Eagle**



-- 
############################################################################**
Crystal Bell                     * If you don't like my opinions that's
E-mail Cryst%belay@uunet.uu.net  * your problem. Please keep ALL flames
                                 * to private E-mail. thanx
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1255@twwells.com
Subject: Re: Sleep vs. Dreams
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 08:07:18 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

Anon-1002 (scared) writes about a dream where his mother seems to be
more aware of Marie Osmond's problems than she is of his own.  (Of
course there's more, but that detail jumpped out at me.)  That sounds
like my Mom.  She has an appetite for stories about other peoples
terrible problems.  She seems to trive on it and be repulsed at the same
time. But when there's a problem within our family she seems to want to
pretend it doesn't exist.  My whole family seems that way to a lesser
extent.  I don't feel like I could get any kind of emotinal support from
them.  Except maybe from my father.

I also have sleep problems.  About once a month I stay up all night
working.  Last time I felt like I had just been beaten up as I went
home.  (I'm the only person I know who regularly get's jet lag without
leaving home.)  But if I don't do it I miss it.  It's just something I
have to do.  I'm going crazy this week; I think it's because I'm over
due. 

So what's my point?  Why am I writing this?  I don't know.  I've been
reading here off an on for several months.  I don't know if I was abused
but I tend to be attracted to people who were.  I've been paying
particular attention to posts about the problems partners have, although
occasionally something else seems to click with my own problems. 

Hello world.  Skyler here. 



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
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Xref: sparky alt.sexual.abuse.recovery:6652 alt.sex.bondage:19013 alt.personals:19950 alt.personals.ads:2078 alt.personals.bondage:1952 alt.personals.poly:191 alt.polyamory:1411
From: muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery,alt.sex.bondage,alt.personals,alt.personals.ads,alt.personals.bondage,alt.personals.poly,alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Important ACS update (godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu)
Followup-To: poster
Date: 6 Oct 92 15:51:00
Organization: Natural Language Incorporated
Distribution: usa
	<1992Oct6.031852.14905@morrow.stanford.edu> <91905@netnews.upenn.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: remarque.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: julio@sigma.hep.upenn.edu's message of 6 Oct 92 21:06:05 GMT

In article <91905@netnews.upenn.edu> julio@sigma.hep.upenn.edu (Julio Gonzalez) writes:
> I agree with Suki. Not everybody is a computer wizzard and everyone is
> panaroid about some computer mishap that could reveal their identities.
>  May be a warning would be better with killing after three felonies

If it *doesn't* work, then your name/login could go out to the group
*anyway* (if it doesn't just disappear).  It is *safer* to send a ping
to get an address, then send yourself mail to test it.  So, not only is
it more polite, but it gives you a *better* chance of privacy.

Suggestion to the ACS maintainers: how about adding a mechanism to post
to alt.test (create it if it doesn't exist) for people who just *have*
to post tests?

Muffy
--

Muffy Barkocy                               muffy@mica.berkeley.edu
~Little round planet/in a big universe/sometimes it looks blessed/
 sometimes it looks cursed/Depends on what you look at, obviously/
 But even more it depends on the way that you see~ - Bruce Cockburn
From: anon-admin@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Important ACS update (godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu)
Date: 6 Oct 92 06:37:07 GMT
Organization: None, Mt. Laurel, NJ

Before I make some comments, I want to say that Karl is one of the
good guys on the net -- I have no reservations about recommending
using his service. But we have a different attitude towards one
thing....

In article <Bvo5rB.69H.2@cs.cmu.edu> Karl_Kleinpaste@cs.cmu.edu writes:
: My ACS software has just gained the concept of a fire extinguisher.
: Users who post tests or large binary (e.g., GIF/JPEG) files via
: anonymus+*.*@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu will be subject to
: extinguishment, also known as *plonk*ing.  From the latest editing of
: the intro blurb for this service:

On the other hand, I *encourage* anyone who feels the need, or
even a slight urge, to post test messages through twwells.com to
do so. I know that many of you on this newsgroup are sensitive to
the possibility of your anonymity being compromised and I hope
that you will test things as much as you feel the need to.

As for GIF files or other misuses of the system, my policy is
entirely reactive. If I ever do get a complaint about something
posted or e-mailed, I'll consider doing something. In the mean
time, I (and my software) ignore what goes through it.

: | PLEASE NOTE #3: Delay between arrival at Godiva of mail aimed at a
: | newsgroup and its appearance in the newsgroup proper is averaging
: | _THREE_HOURS_.  See "Please Note #1" above, and practice patience.

I've mentioned that I'm switching my e-mail connections; you may
already have noticed that some things are now getting out much
more quickly. When the switchover is complete, by the end of the
week at the latest (but really by this evening), you should
expect that the absolute worst time it takes for something to get
from the Internet, to my system, and back out again, will be
about two hours. If you experience delays longer than that (that
are not caused by local conditions), please let me know so that I
can try to fix it.

---
Bill                            { rutgers | decwrl | telesci }!twwells!bill
bill@twwells.com
From: anon-1252@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: test/question
Date: 2 Oct 92 14:06:22 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

Hi,
 
I am testing this anonymous posting thing.  I want to make sure it
works before I say anything too personal.
But so as not to make this post a complete waste of bandwidth, I also
have a question. :-)
If I am reading a.s.a.r. in nn, and I see an article I want to reply to,
and I hit "f" or "r", will my reply be anonymous or not?  From what it
looks like, I would say not.  It seems the only way to post, follow-up,
or reply anonymously is by mailing to anon-asar (or anon-#### for a 
private reply).  Is this correct?   Thanks in advance.



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
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anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Subject: Re: Goldberry is back + ***** SPOILERS *****
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 04:49:35 GMT

hey!  welcome back!  it's good to see you around again, goldberry.  i'm so glad
to hear that you're doing better now than when you were last around here.  i
guess it shows (among other things) that people can heal on their own outside
of asar, which is good.  don't get me wrong, i think asar is a wonderful thing,
but it's nice to have concrete evidence that one doesn't *need* to read it to
heal.
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
Xref: sparky alt.sexual.abuse.recovery:6654 alt.sex.bondage:19029 alt.personals:19964 alt.personals.ads:2085 alt.personals.bondage:1956 alt.personals.poly:195 alt.polyamory:1415
From: nuke@wam.umd.edu (root)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery,alt.sex.bondage,alt.personals,alt.personals.ads,alt.personals.bondage,alt.personals.poly,alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Important ACS update (godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu)
Date: 7 Oct 92 01:29:38 GMT
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park

In article blaze@westmark.Stanford.EDU (Suki) writes:
>	Ja Val, Mein Heir...

A little bit of an overstatement?  ;)

>
>	Jeez Karl!  I realize that you are running a _service_, and 
>that you are doing this out of the generosity of your soul...but
>you're sure being a dictator about it....

Such is life.  I get the opinion that newbies are not welcome 
to use the service he is providing.  I realize that this isn't
stated, specifically... but seems to be the impression.  Perhaps
if he just came out and said it, everything else would seem more
predictable?  Yeah, it does sound hostile... but he *is* the boss.

(Rest deleted)

>	>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Suki<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>		    blaze@westmark.stanford.edu  or
>		 anonymus+284@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu.

Out of curiosity... why have an anonymous address, if you publicly post
what that address is?  I assume I'm missing something, here...

Take Care...
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 12:45:25 EDT
From: <SCG107@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: a reason???

Let me see... where did it go?? I know I had a reason here a while ago, but
it seems to have wandered off... Maybe if I describe it you can keep an eye
open for it, and email it back to me. Its a fairly large reason, the one that
keeps me going to class, doing my work, not hurting myself, trying to deal
with my shit. Habit is holding everything together at the moment, except for
a few ragged places around the edges, but that isn't a reason, its just
inertia (a body in motion tends to remain in motion, and all that.) And concern
for my friends is helping me to keep the ragged spots hidden, but that isn't
a reason either. Doing what everyone else thought I should do is what got me
into this mess in the first place.

I don't care, and it doesn't matter anyway, so why bother???

I can just feel the people who know me and read asar starting to worry... I
suppose I could just keep telling you everything is okay, but why bother??
It takes too much energy anyway.

Sarah
From: anonasar@khijol.UUCP
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: for those considering Final
Date: 30 Sep 92 07:13:19 GMT

X-ANON-Version: 0.5

I am that little piece of you that is detached from you, sitting here
listening to you blather on about how you'd like to end it all.  I'm here to
put a bug in your ear: Why do that?  That's no fun!  You have total
control over your environment - you just don't remember that.  You can make
things easy for yourself, or hard.  You've set up the game so that things
are hard for you, just so you can have the challenge of turning "bad" into
"good".  It's no challenge to check out in the middle, is there?  If you
realize that you ARE playing a game, and that YOU control the rules of
the game, and that YOU can change the game so that YOU win whatever it
is that you want to win, things will immediately get easier for you.

Right now, you're playing the game to "win" pain and suffering.  Why not
change the rules by changing your outlook?  You can just as easily change
the rules to win joy and happiness.  Stop playing to lose!

Remember, it's me you're talking to, that ME that you see every morning in
the bathroom mirror, so yelling at me is yelling at yourself.  Who are you
trying to convince?  Why defend a game you no longer believe in?  "But, it's
not that easy!" you whine.  I'm here to remind you that it IS that easy ...
you've just forgotten the ground rules.  By telling yourself that it's not easy,
you're convincing yourself that "yeah, it's OK to be where I am, I like it
just fine, really I do; otherwise, I'd get out of wherever I am.  I like it
just fine here in the soup, thankyouverymuch."

Just your Higher Self (or pick the diety of your choice and insert here)
trying to remind you of what you once knew, but have forgotten.

Like Arnold says, "I'll be back!"  :) :)
--
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To make sure you can reach the server, send mail to khijol!ping@saturn.upl.com
   with a valid "Reply-To:" header.
To reach the admin for this service, send mail to erc@apple.com
From: doug@cdc.hp.com (Doug Sojourner)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: I think it's progress
Date: 2 Oct 92 19:28:03 GMT
Reply-To: dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
Organization: HP California Design Center, Santa Clara, CA
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.4 PL6]

Susan,

Sounds like you are doing very well in a bad situation.  I'm not sure
I would have told the shift supervisor, but that's more a reflection
of my own struggles with denial and speaking out.  It seemed
appropriate to give some explanation, and the truth is often the best.
I agree that this is not something we should hide, and that disclosure
should be at the victims discretion.  The only other explanation I can
have for her caution would be if she knew or suspected that some
people (like your supervisor) could not be trusted with this
information.

Good work, I'm proud of you too.

Hugs if you want them,

Doug Sojourner       
dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: koepp@cc1.unt.edu (Cynthia Koepp - Computing Center)
Subject: re: lawyers in Chicago
Organization: Computing Center, UNT
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 23:39:29 GMT

Kevin Krueger (krueger@COMM.MOT.COM) wanted to know about Chicagoland area 
lawyers who might have experience with sexual abuse cases and who were not 
sleazoids:

VOICES in ACTION (Victims of Incest Can Emerge Survivors) is based in 
Chicago, and they might be able to help you in some way.  I received a small 
list of attorneys from them--it was a nationwide listing, however. I would 
try them, and then maybe even the Illinois Bar legal referral service.

This is kind of on a different subject (but still Chicago!)--did anyone 
happen to read Ann Lander's column of a few Sundays ago?  She devoted the 
entire space to a book called _You Must Be Dreaming_ which is about a woman 
who went after a world-famous psychiatrist who had sexually abused her. I 
did read the book, a sad tale with a pretty good ending.  Barbara Noel's 
fight for justice says a lot about the legal system.  Before 
I would ever sue somebody (which I considered), I would bone up on the laws/
precedents, and maybe read a book like this. I guess what I am saying is, I 
would do some research on the state laws/attitudes before I ever made an 
appt. with an attorney. It's an aid toward asking better questions, and, I 
think, to getting a gut feeling about what the attorney says he/she can do 
for you...

I am still getting used to all this, so let me know if I make major faux pas.
I work at a Computing Center, but I belong on a farm or field somewhere, I 
am convinced.

Cynthia Koepp
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: bob@reed.edu (Robert Ankeney)
Subject: Re: Introduction
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 19:21:30 GMT


     Well, it sounds to me like you're healing.  And it is possible.  I was
witness to two children murdered when I was a child.  If you want to talk
about it, I now have an anon ID, so you can email me at anon-1271@twwells.com
if you're interested.  Take care,

     Robert

-- 
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Robert Ankeney                 | "Yield and overcome.                |
...!tektronix!reed!bob         |  Bend and be straight.              |
...!tektronix!bob@reed.EDU     |  Empty and be full."    - Lao Tzu   |
From: anon-1016@twwells.com (Prisoner)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: I can't post about me but....
Date: 2 Oct 92 01:16:12 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

I can't post about me but I can post about the latest verbal
violence. Maybe if I post on things relatively neutral I'll get
back to my own stuff....

Anyone who has been here for anything over six months is probably
aware that the quality of communications on asar has been
gradually degrading and that the periods of calm and support have
become less the norm.

Uh, people, this is not an act of god or a consequence of a law
of nature. This is happening because we have let, or caused, it
to happen.

Here are four things to do when posting if you really want to help
things improve. (There are more but these are the ones that come
to mind right now.)

1) Use with "I" statements instead of "You" statements.

	There is a vast difference between "You hurt me" and "I
	feel hurt by that".

2) Remember: we are not perfect in our communications skills.

	That someone comes across as offensive, abrasive,
	thoughtless, or whatever does not necessarily mean that
	he _is_. Before you decide that someone is really a loser,
	spend some time trying to figure out where he is really
	coming from. Knee jerk reactions help no one.

3) Odds are, your strong negative reaction to some post is not
   justified by what is in the post.

	Let's face it, we're all touchy here. And we often
	misread things. Often we read into things things that
	aren't there. So, was it him or is it you? Ask yourself
	first before reacting.

4) There are good ways to deal with something that is flat out
   wrong. And there are bad ways. And *really* bad ways.

	If someone verbally attacks you, there is usually no point
	in attacking back. Consider why you would do that. What do
	you expect to gain? Skipping all the verbiage: if your
	purpose isn't to drive them off the newsgroup, almost any
	other response than a return attack is better. Except not
	responding at all.

Well, I have more to say, but I'll see if this stirs up some
thoughtfulness....


Prisoner



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To use this service, send EMAIL to:
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