From: moksha@fakevm.tifr.edu (Virupaksha Mokshagundam)
Subject: Re: A letter to Mandar
Organization: Tata Institute of Fundamental Research
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 07:09:03 GMT

crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:
>gmw1@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Gabe M Wiener) writes:
>
>>We all would appreciate it if ...
>
>Not _all_ of us feel this way.  I've always enjoyed his postings, and I
>enjoy them all the more now that I know he's probably another alias of
>Mahalingam (magnificent name, that!).  

Dear Sirs and Madams,

In the names of the three hundred and thirty millions, what are these
terrible opprobriums being levelled against the honest and upright name
of V Mahalingam? I am noticing this irresponsible thread on this excellent
discussion group for a certain amount of time, and I am at present reaching
that point in a human life when one can remain tight-lipped no more. One
must, I am now convinced, speak up against the slings of mud and arrays
of outrageous falsehoods.

I am neither myself V Mahalingam, nor am I dreaming of going so far as
to attempt to speak on said person's behalf. However, I am of the humble
belief that in the far more mundane matter of relating objective facts I
am at the very least in the possession of an elementary reliability. Kindly,
therefore, take my words at face value, and I assure you that you can
henceforth rest content in the assumption that they do not contain the
minutest measure of prevarication.

Mr Graham Toal, who appears to be the original perpetrator of this lie,
possesses, I must sadly submit, no semblance of a logical demonstration
of his monstrous claim that "Mandar Mirashi" is Mahalingam. Mahalingam 
(rather whimsically called "Moby Dick" in certain quarters) is not a
person who has ever been acquainted with Mr Toal. Laughable it is, but
paradoxically also saddening, that Mr Toal is venturing to hold forth
about him.

I can state as a fact that Mr Toal possesses a table of memory from which
it is an extraordinarily easy matter to wipe out all trivial fond records.
Far be it from me to slander this excellent gentleman, but this after all
is a truth against which all ethical considerations dissolve.

When I set my eyes for the first time on the published conjecture that
"Mandar Mirashi" is Mahalingam, they started like ever so many stars from
their respective appointed spheres! Moreover, my knotted and combined locks
parted and each particular hair stood on end to result in a rather humorous
though not entirely pleasing resemblance to quills upon a fretful porpentine!

There is indeed no relation whatsoever between Mandar Mirashi and Vatsyayan
Mahalingam. Indeed the latter resides in India, and it is an embarrassingly
trivial reflection that will convince one of the fact that this is impossible
were they the same person.

But the magnitude of this lie is even at this point remaining largely
uncovered, like that of a buffalo arranging the major part of his physique
to lie in water. V Mahalingam in fact falls far short of being the same
person as even Virupaksha Mokshagundam! Mr Toal in a (one sincerely hopes!)
momentary attack of delirium chooses to equate the most diverse entities.
What one is saddened by is the fact that he does not hesitate to make his
inflamed imaginings public.

Mokshagundam is Mokshagundam and Mahalingam, if I may phrase it this way, is
Mahalingam. A person by any other name might read as erudite, but he yet is
an egregious ersatz, a phantasmagoric phony, a simulated McCoy!

Trusting that I have set matters straight on this point, I am humbly taking
your leave. Thanking you very much for your invaluable time,
I remain,
Yours Sincerely.
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