From: gifford@krang.vis.citri.edu.au (Jonathan Gifford)
Newsgroups: aus.music,rec.music.misc
Subject: well fuck you baby...
Date: 2 Oct 92 04:15:00 GMT
Distribution: aus
Organization: Computer Science, University of Melbourne, Australia

Just had a few random thoughts when this popped up in front of me
today (damn! gotta get that kill file going!)...

jamie@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Jamie Scuglia) writes:

>1. ( 4) ACHY BREAKY HEART - Billy Ray Cyrus
sounds like a song which really explores complex themes in an
intelligent, inciteful way...

>2. ( 3) LIFE IS A HIGHWAY - Tom Cochrane
littered with dog faeces, no doubt...

>5. ( 6) NOVEMBER RAIN - Guns 'N' Roses
in which Axl get married to a triffid (why else does she die in a
rain-storm?) and makes one of the most pretentious wanky videos I've
seen for a long time...

>6. ( 1) HUMPIN' AROUND - Bobby Brown
looks like Bobby is a SNAG, wouldn't you say?

>8. ( 7) SESAME'S TREET - The Smart E's
more music for people with single digit IQ/age

>10. ( 9) PLEASE DON'T GO - K.W.S.
please, fuck off

>(1)---> The Aussie top 10 singles chart is having a major shake up
>this week!  Rocketing up from number 4 all the way to number one
>is Billy Ray Cyrus, with his first ever Australian charting single,
>called ACHY BREAKY HEART.  This single comes from his album,
>SOME GAVE IT ALL, which crashes in at number 3 on the Australian
>albums chart this week.

Jamie, you should be in marketing. "Rocketing" up 3 places? What would
you have said if it had gone up 4, 5, or (shock horror) more places?
"Crashing" into the charts? Where the hell was it going at the time
(and why the hell didn't it stay there?).

>Looks like there will be a battle next week, as Tom and Billy
>fight for number one!

Looks like another phenomenally boring non-event to me - completely
unable to be observed, completely uninterseting except to the
money-makers, and completely forgotten next week...

>(5)---> Guns 'N' Roses take NOVEMBER RAIN top 5 for the very first
>time this week, with a one spot move up from six. This single
>was relesed in Australia in February, and has taken 8 months
>to finally crack the top 5!  It peaked at number 21 in
>April, but then was re-released.

Gee, thanks for the maths for morons lesson there, I'd always wondered
what happened if you took one away from six. Given the incredible
dirge that this song is, its amazing that they bothered releasing it
in the first place.

BTW Jamie, why don't we have a top 3, since we ALL know that only the
first three place getters in any event are important - just watch any
athletics competition.

>This debut boosts the Australian content of
>albums on the Australian Albums chart to 60 percent!
>And, the Australian content on our singles chart is again
>ZERO for the second week in a row.  The charts move in mysterious
>ways!

Gosh Jamie, you're so profound...

>ALL OVER YOU - Toni Pearen *  { This is Toni from E-Street, following in
>                                Melissa's footsteps by recording a single }
Oh great, in five years time we'll be having the Kylie wars all over
again...

>SO DANGEROUS - Lisa Edwards *
to have so much money and so little talent

>MY NAME IS PRINCE - Prince 
shit! you're kidding me! and I thought it was Sheila E

>DOMINO - Kiss
I thought they were dead!

>A SMALL VICTORY - Faith No More
for white american imperialist marketeers

>IF YOU ASKED ME TO - Celine Dion
and your initials are SAW, then I'll do *ANYTHING*

>AIN'T NO DOUBT - Jimmy Nail
that the move from TV to "Music" is getting out of hand

>SYMPHONY OF DESTRUCTION - Megadeth
another band in touch with the needs of the planet

Happy chart reading people...
-- 
Jonathan Gifford        gifford@vis.citri.EDU.AU        gifford@cs.mu.OZ.AU
--- CITRI, 723 Swanston St, Carlton, VIC 3053, Australia  +61 3 2822475 ---
      He didn't say "thou shalt have dominion over a big wad of tofu"
Newsgroups: aus.music