From: blu@cellar.org (Dan Reed)
Newsgroups: rec.autos,rec.autos.driving
Subject: "Most Tastelss Car Accessory Listing"
Date: 11 Dec 92 15:46:23 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system

This is a list of the "most tasteless" things you can put on a car.
If you have one, or more of the following on your car, notify the "Taste
Police", who will come out, and remove the following from your car, and
then tell you how to think for yourself.
 
Avoid *any* car with the following -
 
Bumper stickers -
 
[My child is a honors student at ____ ____ school.]
[(any bumper sticker referring to your religion)]
(exempt if you are Satanic)
[I (heart) (anything)]
(exempt it has a picture of Jeffrey Dalmer)
Any sports bumper stickers.
Any kind of radio/TV/media "If your car is spotted!" prize type sticker.
[Ask Me About My Grandchildren]
[My other car is a _____]
 
Licence Plate Frames -
 
Any type with auto dealer information on it.
Any "I'd Rather Be ________"
(exempt if it reads "I'd Rather Be Wasting People At The Mall!"
Gold/Silver frames with little "$"'s on it.
Golf/Silver "chain" type plate frames.
Gold/Silver "twisty" type frames.
Neon (colored plastic).
Neon (light up).
Frames that go "beep beep" when backing up (heavy trucks exempt)
Frames that light up, with a (car name here), or equivalent.
Frames that have "running disco lights".
 
(front tags)
 
Rebel Flag.
Nice cheezey air brushed scheme.
Your initials.
Poor, fake stupid "euro" tags that say "cool" things.
(Again) dealer tag.
 
Stickers -
 
Okley: Thermonuclear Protection
(exempt "Hokey! Thermonuclear Bullshit!")
Bad Boy Club
Any kind of dark tinted windshield shade, that has the cars name on it,
logo, or cute saying.
"You Toucha My Car, I Breaka Your Face!"
Big Ford or Chevy logo.
Any kind of sticker that has dealer information on it.
Rebel Flag.
FOP sticker (unfair IMHO)
Your initials stuck to the car door.
Sticker telling other people what kind of audio equipment you have.
 
"Things that can be stuck to a car" -
 
Covers over door handles with cars name on it.
Key-Hole scratch covers with cars name on it.
Gold/Chrome/Neon door edge guard.
Gold/Chrome rocker guards with text (Ie - 2cool4u, or "G" Money $$)
Gold/Chrome wheel covers, fender stickers.
Lettering that is stuck on the windshield, that has "$"'s in it.
Spoilers/Ground effects- that are held on with double sided foam tape.
Garfield/any other "suckie" car window thing.
Fake car phone antenna.
Bondo.
Poorly done window tint.
Any type of "Baby on board" or equiv. sticker.
Fake hood scoops.
"Windsplits".
Any extra "overkill" of cars name, logo, or brand on it.
Any kind of "Special Edition" sticker put on your car.
Compass.
Thermometer.
Small digital clock (must be broken, or stuck on crooked)
Wood grain.
 
"Things people actually paid money for!"
 
Wire wheels
Wire wheel hubcaps on a car that is sporty, or has less than 4 doors.
White walls, on a car with less than 4 doors, or is newer than 10 years.
Ugly hubcaps. (Is the paint falling off them yet?)
Bent "cool" radio antenna.  (ya know, in a shape of a "zig zag")
Fake "car phone" look-alike radio antenna.
Neon wiper blades.
Dual "euro" wiper blades.
Wiper arm boots.
Neon lights under car.
Fake vinyl tops on nice cars (like BMWs, Audis, etc..)
Tinted sunroof deflectors on cars, that do NOT have a sunroof, or have a
"pop up" type roof.
Fuzzy Dice.
Tinted "bug" deflecotrs on hood. (trucks exempt)
Cheap steering wheel wrap, that is "lambskin", "terry" or plastic w/neon.
Lambskin seat covers
Grant steering wheels.
Worthess fog/driving lights of low qulaity.
Colored shift knobs.
Colored shift boots.
Any "wooden" aftermarket interior car parts.
 
Winner of "Best Abuse Of Technology of 1992" goes to - Talking Car Alarms