From: julie@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: "Scorn"?
Date: 31 Jul 92 00:40:06 GMT
Organization: Carnegie Mellon Computer Club


Brad writes in response to some of my comments about marraige:
> It might be important to clarify whether 'marriage is plain bad' or 'marriage
> isn't, but excluding MOTSS couples from it is'.

Well I am not overly fond of marraige but my principle concern with it
has to do with the fact that it practiced in a sexist and homophobic
context.

> In the world you paint, I cannot exist.  Married bisexuals are an evil and
> terrible thing to be despised -- not suprisingly, I'm not pleased with that.

I never said you were evil and I never said I despise you.  It takes a
lot to get me to despise someone-- you'll know if you ever earn the
title. :)

>>  It's not a matter of your relationship with a woman and it
>>is not a matter of your "chaning."  It's a matter of how you seek
> 
> What is "chaning"?  The term is totally unfamiliar.

Sorry-- typo.  Should have been "changing."  

> Being me means having some people despise me, then, but I can't stop being
> me for that reason.  In choosing, I have obviously chosen against you, and
> so fully anticipate your scorn and your anger and your hate.

I have no scorn and no anger and no hate towards you, or anyone simply
because they are married,  Brad.  The fact that I am willing to speak
strongly for that in which I believe should not be used as a reason to
categorize me into someone full of hate for people who differ from me. 
I, in my view anyway, am having a discussion of issues which I think
are very important.  I do not take any of it personally and I wish you
would not either.  I am trying to explain my views about this topic in
as coherent and clear a manner as is possible and it seems that you
are attempting to berate me for this by claiming that what I have said
in some manner implies that I despise you.

> It seems you have no place for or tolerance towards married bisexuals in your
> position, and so how could I imaginably defend myself?

I never asked you to defend yourself and there is no reason that you
should feel that you have to justify yourself to me.  We are all our
own judges.  However, I feel a need to present perspectives which
others may be unwilling or unable to express in order to enlighten
people who may not have thought of views such as my own.  I think that
what I have to say is important, otherwise I would not say it, and I
do not expect that anyone will agree with me 100%, but I do tolerate
the choices you make and the manner in which you choose to lead your
life.  As I said before, what you do is up to you.

Please understand this: I do not judge, but that does not stop me from
holding viewpoints which may challenge people and the manner in which
they lead their lives.  I have strong views but please do not mistake
them for hate or scorn, because I do not feel such emotions without a
great deal of history to lead to them.  Listen to what I have to say
and please think about it and decide for yourself what you need to do
with your life, but do not reject me out of hand because I "have no
place" for "tolerance" of you.

--Julie
                                                 
--------------------------------------------------------------------            
 "Naturally the common people don't want war... but after all it is             
the leaders of a country who determine policy, and it is always a               
simple matter to drag the people along...  All you have to do is tell           
them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of            
patriotism and exposing the country to danger."                                 
                                                                                
                          -- Hermann Goering, 1936