From: timothy lee <tlee@silver.ucs.indiana.edu>
Subject: Re: My Thought on Wife Beating and more Thoughts...
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 22:03:31 GMT

Kevin Giansante <kaygee@hardy.u.washington.edu> says:
> In article 11627,  timothy lee <tlee@silver.ucs.indiana.edu>
> entertains us with one of the most incredibly convoluted and
> illogical diatribes I've ever heard in support of domestic
                                      ====================== 
> violence.
  ========

My following article does not intend to encourage, promote, condone,
support, nor incite domestic violence.

Hey, Kevin, what pisses me off is you Westerners' jump-into-quick-conclusions
when you Westerners see different ideas, concepts or customs (even food) of 
non-Western cultures.  For example, when you see the practice of polygamy 
or concubines, you guys quickly jump into a conclusion that non-Westerners 
are barbarians as if you guys see some abominable things.  Of course, I don't 
support polygamy (I am an ardent monogamist.) nor concubine practices.  But in
reality, do you know that Americans now have a pattern that sociologists call 
"serial monogamy": an individual is married to one person at a time, but over a 
lifetime will have several consecutive marriage partners.  In actuality, it's
nothing but polygamy or even worse than that.  My contention is that Westerners'
judgment on non-Western cultures such as wife beating or male-dominated
society has blind spots, for they try to judge non-Western culture with
their own measure.

Your response about my previous article reflects that kind of Westerners'
mindset.  When you hear about wife beating in non-Western culture (in this 
case, Korean culture), you quickly jumped into a conclusion that I support 
domestic violence.  As I said before in my previous article, wife beating 
in Korean social milieu has a different character than that in American 
society.  What I did was I just simply wrote the facts with a little
bit sarcastic (and generalized) tone about how different the concept
of wife beating of Korean culture is from that of America.  And then
I added that you Westerns should not judge wife beating in Korea superficially
since Korean people tend to look at inner motive than outer acts.  And then
I described how hypocritic American idea about wife beating or marital relation
is.  You see, my point was that although here Americans talk loudly against 
domestic violence but, in reality, through the unfaithfulness of their marital
life American males commit more grievous crime than wife beating.  Therefore, 
to my eyes, you Americans' idea about wife beating seems superficial and 
hypocritical.  Listen.  I will tell you even at the risk of being mis-
understood: Extremely speaking, in my opinion, if domestic violence resolves
marital problems, it's well better than divorces.  That was my point.  But due
to my dumb and illogical egg-head or your smart and logical brain, you just 
jump into a hasty conclusion that I support domestic violence as if there is no
wife beating in human society and I should not talk about it.

But, sadly, not only Westerners, but some Koreans, too, unconditionally 
accept Western ideas and judge Korean culture with the measure
of Western culture.  I admire Western thoughts and its ideas such as
individualism and freedom and justice.  But the problem is some superficially
measure Korean (or other non-Western) culture through the measure of Western
ideas, sometimes, they may miss the stories behind scenes.  For
example, some netters fervently denounced beating in Korean high schools, but 
one has to understand the value of discipline.  Even Western society disciplined
their school children harshly (See Charles Dickens' novels).  You cannot simply 
say, "Oh, what terrible Korean schools are!  Teachers beat their students!"
Some even showed an example of a girl who became temporarily paralyzed when she
was beaten by her teacher.  But to me, teachers should discipline their
children, even using physical force.  I don't know where some got the idea that 
children should be raised only by talk.  But my guess is that they blindly 
accept that American education system is best.  Some netter even defended
that now beating has been gone from Korean schools as if it's the evidence
of the improvement of Korean education system.  Oh, no, my dear friends, it's
not a progress but a regress.  Children cannot be raised only by
talk.  Sometimes they need correction and discipline.  If American education
system is such good, why are American schools in terrible shape?  

Or some netters (especially female ones) blindly accept feminism and judge Korean
culture with American feminists' eyes.  But in some ways, Koreans treat women with
more respect than Americans treat women.  For example, Koreans never let their
wives work.  Then you might immediately talk about career and conclude that what
pitiful Korean women are.  You are quick to say that they just become homemakers,
sacrificing their careers while their resources can have benefited their society. 
You see, my point.  Outwardly you are right.  But wait a minute!  See the story
behind scenes.  In my opinion, Korean women are the happiest women in the world 
because their husbands support them.  Don't talk about careers.  Do you think how
many percentage of American women really enjoy their careers?  Very few. Only very
few have glamorous careers such as TV reporters or engineers or actresses.  Most
women work tedious and menial jobs with meager wage as their careers.  I believe
that every of them wish that she may have a husband who can support her so that she
may get out of her struggle of survival. Do you see the cartoon which sarcastically 
pointed out the false assumption of the seemingly glamorous single mother career women
Murphy Brown lifestyle?  One teenager girl (single mother) feeds her child in her shabby 
apartment, talking to herself, "Somehow this seemed more exciting when Murphy Brown 
did it."  You see, many women have a fancy about career because they only see career
women in TV and their lives seem glamorous even when they are single mothers.  See,
but, most of women's career and lives are not that glorious.  You cannot
simply talk about career.  So can't you see that in some ways Korean women
are much happier than American women while our common senses dictate that Korean
women should be more miserable than American women?  Isn't it paradoxical that
seemingly male-dominated society like Korea respect women more than seemingly
equal right society like America.  You cannot simply measure Korean culture by
American culture.  When you do that, you may not see real part of stories 
behind scenes.

In my opinion, we Koreans are being influenced by Western culture while we
try hard to guard ourselves against Japanese culture. Koreans should keep 
them pure from the cultural pollution of Western (especially American) cultures.
Some say that that's the reason why Khomeini hated America and tried to purge
his country from cultural pollution.  I feel that someday Korea may need
a Cultural Revolution.  And that some Korean kids should be reeducated at 
kinds of political (or cultural) camps without infringing on their individual 
freedom so that they may be politically or culturally correct.