From: goodman@bright.uoregon.edu (Albert Goodman)
Subject: Bertie Flies Again!
Organization: Dept. of Mathematics, University of Oregon, Eugene OR 97403-1222
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 02:58:12 GMT


--'-<-,<@                                        @>-->----
 
Mike Callahan waggles a finger at Kitten who just happens to
look up at that particular moment, motioning her to approach
the bar.
 
"You rang, Sir?"  she chortles.
 
"Indeed!" smiles the Irishman.  "There is a presence missing
from The Place, Kitten.  What has happened to the Didi-Sprite?"
 
Ah ... well ... "
 
Just then a fluttering and a squawk is heard from outside the now
closed French doors.
 
"Someone let that bird in before he shatters the glass!"
 
Nathan hops obligingly out of the hot-tub, grabs a conveniently
placed towel, trots over and wrenches back the panels just in
time!
 
"Oh!  Look!  It is Bertie!  The Didi-Sprite's companion and Cockatoo!"
observes an astute patron.
 
"What News, Bertie?"  asks SEA, bouncing up to the bar, Koali in tow,
where the now preening bundle of white fluff has settled.
 
"That was a long flight!"  complains the winged one.  "I've
burned up a zillion calories getting here."
 
Mike reaches down to the shelf under the bar, extracts a well-
mounded bowl of sun flower seeds, and places it within claw and
beak range of the yellow-crested wonder.  Bertie wastes no time
catching one up, cracking open the shell, then crunching the sweet
kernel within.
 
"Mmmm ... very good, Mike!  My compliments.  Not a hint of staleness!"
 
"Would I offer you *stale* sunflower seeds!?!"  demands Mike, in mock
indignation.
 
"Err ... how about some pineapple juice to go with that?!"  suggests
Kitten quickly.  "I'm buying!"
 
"Well!  How very civilized of you, Feline-Dearest!"  Bertie flirtingly
ruffles his feathers at Kitten before winking at Mike,  "How about
adding a thimble of rum to that punch, Mike?  I could sure use a touch
of the stimulant!"
 
SEA nods her head at the bar-keep and the rum is duly added to the
pineapple juice.
 
"Come on Bertie!  Out with it!  What news do you have of Didi?"
demands Nathan, his patience wearing thin.
 
"Well, as some of you know, the Didi-Sprite is being held incommunicado
by a magician called McGill!  It seems that one of his pieces of equip-
ment has gone awry and she is unable to travel to this Place.  The
message is rather garbled.  What I get is that something 'crashed' and
then an orb, or, is that a disk(?), refuses to 'spin up', thus denying
Didi access.  As I said, the message she was able to get out to me was
slightly mangled."
 
Bertie pauses for a sip of punch and then continues:  "I am here now
because I have been asked to convey a message to all of you.  And, if
you will allow me a moment ... "
 
Bertie pauses again, this time to produce a tiny black box from under
a wing.  This he sets on the polished surface of the bar.  Then he
asks that the lights be dimmed for a moment.  Suddenly a holographic
image appears before the company.
 
"Look!  It's Didi!"
 
Conversation stops while the image of the Didi-Sprite adjusts and
achieves proper focus.  And, indeed, it is the Didi-Sprite, clad in
her scanty spriteful costume, seemingly sitting cross-legged on a
lily pad.
 
The holographic sprite raises her right hand and waves at her friends:
"Testing - testing, 1, 2, 3!"  she chimes out.  "Is this working?
Bertie!  Pay attention!
 
"Well, I hope this is working!  Hello, everyone!  Yes.  It is me,
the Didi-Sprite!  Not exactly in the flesh ... or, in person, even!
But me, all the same!  Gosh I miss you all!  It has been a long two
weeks of non-access to the net, and as you can see, I am shrivelling
up!  Pretty soon there will be nothing left of me ... sigh."
 
Kitten and SEA nudge each other with knowing looks while giggling
unrestrainedly.
 
"Alright you two!  I heard that!"
 
The two friends choke in surprise and instantly settle down.
 
"Hey!  It isn't funny being isolated like this!  I hate being forced
to miss all my friends.  It is dreadful not being able to hop into
your mboxes on a whim and bother you!  This enforced silence is
completely foreign to my nature!  Totally unacceptable.  Sigh.
 
"But, I must say, I am being really well cared for by my friends
out there in Email Land!  I have had the most amazing number of
phone calls!  Why, the Golden Gryphon just up and dialed my number
this week!  -  Hi, Goldie!  -  and The Doctor has been ringing me
up almost every night.  And, our good Professor of Mathematics, Doc
Albert, has called me twice!  Then there was Caithelin, SEA, Craig,
Nathan!  Even Brumby has called me!!!  And, of course, Dear, Dear
Danger Mouse!
 
"Howdy, DM!  The grape vine tells me that you haven't had time to miss
me this past week!  Someone called Jason has been keeping you rather
busy ... as well as the Old Dickens, himself!  Well, I am glad.
Because I wasn't able to keep you company the way I had intended to.
 
"Well, as much as I would like to continue this idle chatter, I think
it is time for me to get down to the real purpose of this 'visit'.  And,
here it is:
 
"One of our number is losing access tomorrow.  This could be a permanent
loss.  Or, it could be short-lived and temporary.  We don't know yet.
 
"Lord Galdrin Ap Morgan has been let go by the Company he has loyally
served for 15 years.  Monday, August 31, 1992, marks his final day.
I thought you would like to know so that you could send him messages
of Love and Encouragement.
 
"Not only is he facing unemployment and all its hazards, he is also
coming to terms with the dissolution of 16 years of marriage.  This
means that not only is he searching for another means of keeping a
roof over the heads of his two boys and their mother, he is also
searching for a separate roof of his own.
 
"I know there is no need for further explanation or exhortation.  Lord
Galdrin is a good man; an excellent human being; and, a very dear
friend.  He deserves so much better than he is being forced to endure.
 
"So ... come on Callahaners!  Answer the call!  Rise to the occasion!
Hope right on into His Lordship's mbox as soon as you read this
message.  His email address is as follows:
 
                 wlrjbl@usho23.hou281.chevron.com
 
"In RL he is known as Rob Blake.
 
"Thank you so much for letting me 'visit'!  Think some positive thoughts
for the Didi-Sprite and Binkley.  We were promised a replacement disk
last week.  But that never eventuated.  Sigh.  Let us hope that this
week will ... "
 
Just then the holographic beam flickers out and the image disappears,
leaving Callahans dim and spriteless once again.
 
From somewhere a voice echoes:  "But only for a short time!  I hope!"
 
----<--<@                                                   @>,->-'--
 
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
----------------
 
This message has been brought to you by the very kind efforts of
our resident Ph.D., Doctor Albert Goodman.
 
(Thank you, Albert!)
 
The Didi-Sprite
Montreal * Canada
 
Presently available only through voice contact at: (514) 487-9653
or, through snail mail (ich!) at:
 
 
DIDI ALLEN
P.O.  Box  1273
Succusrale  "H"
Montreal, P.Q.
H3G  2N2
CANADA
 
----<--<@

Newsgroups: alt.callahans