From: pustule@cats.ucsc.edu (Thaddeus H. Wood)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Jennifer Tilly interview -- Complete Transcript!
Date: 21 Jan 1993 11:25:44 GMT
Organization: University of California; Santa Cruz
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: am.ucsc.edu


Okay, here we go, folks.  The transcript brought
to you by a defunct student with far too much time
on his hands.

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Transcript of Interview on the 1/19/92 episode
of Late Night With David Letterman!

D == David Letterman
J == Jennifer Tilly


D: Uh, our next guest has appeared in, uh, many motion pictures
   including one of my all-time favorite, The Fabulous Baker
   Brothers.  And, uh, she is starring -- the Baker Boys.
   She is starring in a, uh -- well you know, stricly speaking, 
   they were brothers.  So, that, that would have worked as the 
   title of the film -- Fabulous Baker Brothers.  Ahh, she is 
   starring in a new series on FOX, called, uh, Key West, 
   which debuted tonight.  Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome
   to the program -- Jennifer Tilly.  Jennifer. . .
                 
   >Some clapping<
 
D: Hi there, Jennifer.
J: David --
D: How are ya? It's nice to --
J: -- David.  
D: Yes. ma'am.
J: At the top of the show when you said my name you should 
   take -- a little pause after my name.  'Cuz nobody clapped
   for me, and my mother's sitting at home going "Oy. . .
   nobody knows who Jennifer is."
D: So, I should, I should --   
J: You said, you said, "Tonight my guests are Robert Klein. . ."
   and everyone went >clap clap clap<.  "Me Phi Me. . ." and 
   everyone went >clap clap clap<.  "Jennifer Tilly and Paul 
   Schaeffer and the Orchestra."  I was waiting to see, you know, 
   how much clapping I would get, and I didn't get any clapping.
 
   >Tons of clapping, whistling, etc<
 
J: Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
D: Heee, heee, heee, heee, ha, hah.
J: What a manipulative audience you have here.  There like easy
   to --
D: Ah, and what a dress!
J: Thank you.
D: Uh, so, now, now let's talk a little bit --
J: You know, you have breast pads in your wardrobe department?
D: I'm sorry -- we have what?
J: You have breast pads in your wardrobe department.
D: That's, of course, for sliding drills.
J: I left you --
 
   >Audience laughter<
 
J: I don't even know what that meant.
D: I don't even know what breast -- why we would --
J: Your audience laughed, so I laughed.
D: I don't, I don't even know what a wardrobe department is. . .
   HA! HA! HA! HA!
J: I bet -- that's obvious.
D: Uh, Jennifer --
J: Yes.
D: Let's, let's talk a little bit about, uh --
J: I heard you're going to CBS 'cuz NBC makes you wear pants.
   I heard that.
D: Yeh.
J: Alright, it was funny when you said it.
D: Ah, huh. 
J: Yes, what?
D: Uh, let, let's talk about, uh --
J: This is my water, right?
D: Yeh, help, help yourself to a refreshing beverage.
J: Heh, heh, heh.   
D: I'll just wait -- like I have been since you came out.
J: Oh!
D: There you go -- Oh, my.  Just, just wet your lips -- 
   we're running low.
J: I get very dry mouthed when I'm on talk shows because I talk 
   so much.
D: Yeh, now --
J: What?
D: I'm sorry --
J: What?
D: I, I almost formed a complete sentence there, and I thought --
J: That happens to me sometimes, too.
D: Now, uh, let's talk about you and your sister, uh, do people
   mistake you for your sister Meg?  Who is the older of the two,
   who is the younger of the two?
J: We never say.
D: Really?
J: We're like the Collins sisters.
D: The Collins sisters.
J: You know -- 
D: Oh, oh, oh.  Yeh --
J: Jackie Collins, Joans Collins.  Except for, you know, they 
   have about 60 years on us -- combined, combined.
D: And, uh, are you --
J: No, actually -- oh, oh, oh.  I remember this story now.  
   I'm the middle child.  
D: Great.
J: I know, this goes into a story.  The story is that I'm the 
   middle child.  Now, this is very amusing, when we were growing 
   up we had nine kids.  I was the middle child.  My parents didn't 
   know what to do with me.  I should talk to you, right?
D: Hey, I dunno, you can talk to anybody you like.
J: Oh, I did it, I touched your knee.
D: You can touch me -- 
J: Don't you notice when they come on your show --
D: >sigh<
J: all the starlets, they touch your knee.  They go like this.
D: Yeh, yeh, yeh.  Well, that's fine, people can --
 
J: And I swore I would never come on your show and touch your knee, 
   but it's very prominent.
 
   >Major laughter<
 
D: Have you, have you ever paused for anything in your life?
J: No.
D: Now, are you, are you, are you and your, your sister ever --
J: No, I have to finish this story about -- no, this is the
   story, about me being the middle child.  Okay, this is probably 
   not even worth the walk, but -- here it goes.  we have nothing 
   but time, right?
D: Guess again!
J: Oh-kay.  Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.  
D: Heh, heh, heh.  Yessir.
J: I'm glad I'm on this show before it got conservative.
D: Get -- 
J: What?
D: Get this, get this tape right up to the new network, will ya' Bob?.
J: Hmmm, hmmmm.
D: Uh, so now, Meg -- uh, Jennifer --
J: What, what, what did you call me?
   I did a talk, I did a talk show this morning and I got off 
   to a real bad start because of this very thing.
D: Really?
J: This Meg-Jennifer thing -- It's like kinda a testy area with me.
D: Well this would've been solid gold here tonight.
J: Alright, yeh.  So, I was the middle child.  So, the older kids
   went to bed at 10:30, the younger kids went to bed at 8:30.  I had
   my own bed time -- 
D: Yeh-heh.   
J: 9:15.  
D: 9:15.
J: That's the punchline.  My own bedtime was 9:15.  >Piano roll<  
   Thank you.  Thank you, Paul.  
   I bet a lot of people feel like this -- they feel like you know 
   they know you 'cuz they watch you on T.V., you know. Like I feel 
   like I know you and I know Paul.  I met Robert -- 
D: Uh, huh.
J: Where is he?  I met him at the Improv.
D: Wow!
J: Yeh.
D: That's, uh, that's another great story.  Uh --
J: There he is.  Yeh, I went up to him, and I was really excited.
   'cuz I had met a bonafide celebrity. and he was very taken aback 
   and I think he was like a little frightened, too.   And I said
   "A Celebrity, your a celebrity!" and he said "I am?" and I said
   "Yes, I see you every night on the David Letterman show."  
D: Right.
J: That's you.
D: Thank you.
J: And he said -- >Gasp<  That camera lit up -- I guess that means 
   I'm on television.
D: Yeh.  Jennifer, have you thought about a sugar substitute?  
   
   >Raucous laughter<
   
   Just maybe, just kind of, just sort of even 'em out a little 
   bit. Just, just  the highs and the lows -- get a little closer 
   together.  Heh, heh, heh.
J: What did you say abut the breast pads?  The sliding --
D: That's for our sliding drills, yeh.  Ha, heh, heh, ha.
J: Ha, ha, ha, ha, sliding drills.  Ha, ha, ha.
D: Uh --
J: What?
D: let's at least, let's at least mention the, the film your 
   in, here.
J: Umm, okay, I have a television series.  It's called Key West.
D: Key West -- premiered tonight on --
J: Premiered tonight, yes.  Nine o'clock on the FOX network,
   opposite Roseanne and the Inn-aug-orial.
D: You'll kill 'em.
J: Now, Did I pronounce that right?
D: I dunno.  Roseanne?  Yeh, I think you got that --.
J: and the Inn-aug-orial?  The Innaugural!!  The Innaugural! 
   Opposite Roseanne and the Innaugural!
D: Alright --
J: I can't wait to --
D: You're starting to frighten me!
   I'm actually getting a little scared now.  Heh, heh, ha!  Woooh!
J: Okay.
D: And, and the film --
J: I have to talk about Key West, 'cuz FOX paid my way out here.
   You guys didn't.
D: Fine, but --
J: What?
D: Do you wanna mention the, the film?
J: Uh, yes.  Are we out of time?
D: >sigh<
J: Alright, so the film is called Shadow of the Wolf it stars
   Lou Diamond Philips, Donald Sutherland, and most of all me.
D: Great, great.  Good for you.  Nice, nice to meet you, Jennifer..
J: Thank you.  Nice to meet you.
D: Thank you very much for your time this evening.
J: Thank you, Bye.
D: You, you don't have to leave.  Stay right there.  We'll
   be right back!
 
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And be sure to look for a series of fine LNWDL images
coming to you soon.

--
    Thaddeus H. Wood  716 Lighthouse Ave.  Santa Cruz, CA  95060
pustule@cats.ucsc.edu  --  +1 408.423.8733  --  pustule@world.std.com
            "At the prompt, please type 'kill -HUP $$'"