From: allen@tessi.com (Allen Warren)
Subject: Re: Being At Home
Organization: Test Systems Strategies, Inc., Beaverton, Oregon
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 19:05:43 GMT

Cory Harper Jacques <cj14+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:

>Hi! Happy Holidays!

>I'm back at home for two weeks during the holiday break and my family's
>eatting habits are driving me crazy. They are splirging on high fat
>stuff all of the time. (Not to mention that they are all overweight) In
>some regards I look at them and say that the food isn't worth it, but at
>other times it looks so good and easy to just pop a few candys in!!!

>I've asked them to put the stuff away when they are done eatting, but
>they leave it out all over the house. So far I've done very well keeping
>on my school schedule of eatting & exercising, but it's wearing me
>down... how do y'all survive in homes with unhealthy eatting habits when
>you know THEY aren't going to change?

>PLUS, being at home is making me remember where I learned all of my
>distructive eatting habits in the first place. I guess it kind of makes
>me glad* to know that in a lot of ways my family IS responsible for me
>becoming overweight. (*glad to know that I really am not to BLAME for
>overeatting, but it is a habit picked up over the years of my life.) 

>Any Thoughts Welcome...
>Cory

Cory,

First of all, it's GREAT to see Cory spelled without the 'e', since my wife
and I named our first boy 'Cory', and everybody seems to like spelling it
'Corey'.

With that said, I'll address the rest of your posting.

Your post sounds a LOT like what I went through years ago with my family.
After I married Val, we radically changed our food diet, cutting out sodium,
saturated fats, "empty" calories, etc.  We stopped buying potato chips, fritos
(okay, may one little bag once in a great while! =)  ), stopped putting salt
on our food, and generally really went for fresh veggies, turkey meat, fish,
fruit, etc.

At the time, we were living in Boston and my parents still live in Ohio, where
eating big meals and having lots of cookies, cake, pies and other high-calorie
food around the house is considered healthy.  As a growing boy, my parents 
always made sure there was PLENTY of food in the house, especially because my
father enjoys making cookies and pies.  I always loved the home cooking, the pies
(especially the mincemeat, apple and pumpkin) and the Christmas cookies, but I 
could've done without the pot roasts, the Prime Rib, etc., in terms of the fat
and cholesterol content.  But honestly, that type of diet is quite prevalent
in the Midwest:  meat and potatoes with lots of sweet desserts.  And I don't
for a minute fault my parents whatsoever.  They ALWAYS had food on the table,
I grew up to be healthy and they ALWAYS had my best interests in mind.

Anyway, my wife and I travelled to Ohio for Christmas a few years back and
prior to the visit, I wrote my parents a long note stating that, due to some
health checkups we had gotten, we had changed our food diets to cut out fat,
sodium, and empty calories and also changed the diet to cut out the bad
cholesterol.  I also said in the letter that as good as the pies, cookies and
desserts were, we probably wouldn't be eating much of the food because of our
need to limit our caloric intake.  Additionally, I told her that we weren't
eating red meat anymore and we would be going to the store when we got there to
buy turkey meat and fish.  I said that we weren't trying to change their (my
parents) eating habits, or hurt their feelings, but rather, were making a healthy
choice consistent with our doctors consultation.  I apologized if we wouldn't eat
the pot roasts, or the steaks, but we were really just trying to stick to our
diet.  Additionally, I stated that we didn't want them (my parents) to NOT eat
any of these foods anymore, but that we would fix our own meals and hopefully not
be a problem at meal time.

You can only IMAGINE our surprise when, upon coming to my parents house, my folks
had stocked up the fridge with fresh fruits and veggies, lean turkey meat, lots
of fish, etc.  My mom had talked to my father about the letter and they had 
consulted their own doctor, who told them that my wife and I had made a very
excellent choice in their food diet and that it would do well if my parents did
the same.  My father was all for it, since he loves fish and veggies anyway.
My dad even went so far as to get unbleached flour, by the American Cancer Society's
Healthy Cookbook, and make more health-conscious desserts (if that can be considered
possible).  My parents also thanked me for being so honest with them and stated
that they appreciated my speaking out about Val and my eating habits.  In addition,
I think my Dad loved the opportunity to have so much fish, since he really likes it
and my Mom is not too kean on it.

So, my advice to you, Cory, is to try talking to your parents about it.  Additionally,
just say no to the high-fat foods.  Cook your own meals if you need to, and don't
try to change your parents or others.  Just as you would expect respect of your
wishes, respect theirs.,

allen