From: arkay@leland.Stanford.EDU (Abdur Khan)
Subject: Pakistan News Update
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 92 01:42:18 GMT

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		THE RAG  October 17th 1992
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Propreitor Sahibzada Rafay Khan
Editor in Chief Sahibzada Rafay Khan
Reporter Rozi Gul
Sports Reporter Allh Ditta

The latest Rag on your doorstep, so much has transgressed but I am still 
unemployed (*&^&^%. 

			PAKISTAN IN FLOOD.

Pakistan after being flooded fro years by afghan refugees has now been struck
by water. Punjab has been badly flooded with Jhelum bridge under an inch 
of water. So hopefully now we willl get some water in Karachi.

		ALTAF BHAI (pir sahib) latestr update

Altaf Hussain has been seen at the U.S. Open disguised as a ball boy. He
was present during the Edberg/Lendl match. But despite reports of his
change of specs he still has his old aviator raybens.

		Zia-ul-Haq every dentist favourite patient

Zia ul Haq was a paid model for Dr. Altutmush of Defence Housing Society.
According to doctor sahibs ex-secretary the Pakistani President was paid
a fee every time he came on TV and smiled. Zia ul Haq was badly in debt
due to his wifes shopping habits.
Anote for tourist and american born confused paki's. The Jabra Chowk 
( Zia's tomb) is a must, ner Shah Faisal Mosque.

		Bush's election campaign - pork barrel tactics.

Bush has agreed to sell pakistan 150 F-15, as long as they dont beat 
Maggy Thatcher's country in Cricket. According to Bush this is a 
win- win situation, jobs for americans and cricket matches for the british.

		MCB - Most controversial Bank

The owner of MCB, has already bought five cement factories and may also buy
UBL. The owner supposedly a close friend of Nawazo has had a lot of luck
with his bids. So much for pakistan's great de- nationalization. But we
pakistani's in america always get fooled by pakistani politician's. First
it was benazir and now it is nawazo.

		Car Lifter Dacoits Ring Broken

Police apprehended sons of affluent fathers(obviously) for stealing over
34 cars of all types and makes. They only stole luxury cars from swifts to 
accords. Dacoit number 1 is a third year student from the most Prestigious 
Engineering University, NED. Exams have been postponed till his court trial.

		Adil Najam - fianlly back on scp

Adil Najam is back and hopefully for the sanity of all, he has not been 
compering another yoputh stage programme. The Editorial Board would be
grateful if ADil Najam would correct/consult his friends through e-mail
before posting Ghazals. The editor has lost count on the number of times
he has been corrected. 

		Editorial

I have finally time to sit down and think. We as a nation and as individuals
have alot of problems. Do we belittle the problems our nations faces or do we
discuss them. Is it okay to date a blonde, pre-marital sex or should we
only have post-marital sex. Will this news service ever be available in 
pakistan ..................... yes hopefully never. Do pakistani women like
funny humorous men or studly serious types or chichora ones. How come
women on the net always have to wait till Salman Azhar has to agree with them
and is sex on the net safe.