HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mikey has Dain Bramage
Date: 16 Nov 92 21:38:51 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <1992Nov16.163036.16880@midway.uchicago.edu> thf2@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>In article <1992Nov16.081039.8920@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>>Hey, maybe
>>you could take your show on the road and get poor people in trailer parks
>>to give you money. 
>
>Why?  I already have the federal government, universities, and mega-
>corporations willing to give me more money than I could ever need.  
>And for what?  To read and write and think!  What more could one want?

To be paid for fucking?

>ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
>standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
>the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637

Oops - I see that you're already on *that* track.

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home   bbxrbk!russ@bbx.basis.com
Will hack unix for food
From: carolo@cse.ucsc.edu (Carol Osterbrock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: FAQ
Date: 21 Nov 1992 11:41:54 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz (CE/CIS Boards)
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: arapaho.ucsc.edu

Well, that last FAQ was too nettish, so I went out and looked for real
questions that were actually asked on the newsgroup.  I paraphrased a
few to get conjunction, but these are really the most frequently asked
questions, and the A stands for asked, not answered.

Do they really expect us to believe that?

Do you have a problem with that?

Why do women always want ....?

How long has it been since you've had any?

Doesn't it make you wonder if.... ?

Why didn't they just do it right the first time?

Is that clear?

Why do men always want ....?

It's not that tough, is it?

And of course, the most asked question of alt.peeves --

GIF!  GIF!  GIF!

Anybody got any more?


-- 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
   Carol Osterbrock     | "Thou art a villain."
                        |       "You are--a senator."
  carolo@cse.ucsc.edu   |  -W. Shakespeare   (Some things never change)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The University of California at Berkeley
Date: 18 Nov 92 19:16:42 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <Bxvu50.Avn@cs.dal.ca> smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:
>
>	Same here.  However, the politically correct types would be torn between
>"freedom of expression" and "sexual harrassment".  Is it true that someone 
>actually filed a sexual harrassment complaint against him?


I believe all that happened was that UC suspended him for two weeks without
cause.

Peeve: Some naked people should not be.
--
"God must hate the common people because he made them so common."
					-Philip Wylie

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Burnt Popcorn Peeve
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Distribution: alt
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 92 23:49:47 GMT

In article <lgo4vcINNdl1@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
(Geoff Miller) writes:
>Have you ever noticed that whenever you burn microwave popcorn at the
>office, people come from miles around to comment on it?  
>
     {stuff deleted to save bandwidth}
>
>I wonder why it is that people feel this is a significant enough event,
>in the greater scheme of things, that they must not only devote 
>valuable cogitation time to it, but verbal comment as well?  People will
>materialize out of the woodwork like wraiths, when the building seemed
>virtually empty shortly before.

Doesn't that sort of make you wonder whether you might have hit on the
perfect distress signal?  Imagine this:  you're captain of the Titanic
II, which has just hit an ice berg, severly breeching the hull and, in
some mysterious way, simultaneously wiping out your radio capability.
Things are looking bad, there aren't enough lifeboats and then suddenly
you have a brilliant idea:  you put popcorn in the microwave abd start
popping it.  Suddenly, the entire Coast Guard surrounds your ship and
everyone is saved.

Possible?  You be the judge...

>It reminds me of the equally peevesome 
>way that people feel compelled to jokingly ask, "Hey, wanna do mine next?"
>whenever they see someone washing his car.

To which you reply, "You mean your wife?" :) :)

  don
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:17395 rec.motorcycles:39838
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (Three-Fingered Salute)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,rec.motorcycles
Subject: Re: fucking BDI motorcycle drivers
Date: 20 Nov 92 00:05:54 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

rbemben@timewarp.prime.com (Rich Bemben) writes:


>Just my thoughts and a little reality check for you...

Thank you oh so much.  Kiss kiss.


Frankly, I posted it because I thought that the squid was a regular
usenetter.  That is why I included a description of his clothing.
Unfortunately I neglected to mention that his jacket was pink.  


However, I know what five feet off of my rear bumper looks like, be it
car truck motorcycle or bus.  I have logged hundreds of thousands of
miles in diverse vehicles -- big cars, tall trucks, moving vans and
even a teeny 55 cubic inch displacement car.  I know what five feet
looks like.

I also know about the rising hazard caused by speed differential.  We
were on a downhill-ish stretch where folks overtaking from the rear had
plenty of time to see what was going on.  We were in the left-hand lane
of a two-lane road.  The right lane was mostly a merge lane from a busy
highway onto the limited access expressway [it has traffic lights].

As affairs worked on, we first had no other traffic coming up behind us
in our lane, allowing dimbulb to drop back if he had realized that
he was crowding me.  Subsequently, the traffic whizzing by on the right
after having gotten on from the freeway had disappeared and guess who
was still on my tail?  How long did it take him to realize that the
coast was clear?

I know that my vehicle must be fascinating to your average motorcycle
rider, whose electrical system can barely support recharging the battery
and running the lights, but enough is enough.  He could look at it in the
parking lot or he could follow me around on the freeways, if he had enough
range in his tank.
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The University of California at Berkeley
Date: 17 Nov 92 16:14:13 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <1992Nov16.182103.15403@twg.com>, nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw) writes:

> !Peeve: The Naked Guy at UCB. Neighbors think he's crazy, but he seems only to
> have taken the constitution's protections to heart and to have started living
> by his principles.
         ^^^^^^^^^^
I don't think you spell it like that, Nolan.

BTW, I gather that one of the Dalhousie Dimbulbs has been whining at my
expense. An unusual sensation. Not so much like being savaged by a sheep,
more like being gummed by a goldfish.






-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

"I have to scan these posts in case Jeremy includes some line
out of context in his .sig" - FriendOfFernandoKhomeini.
From: library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Broken hand peeve
Date: 18 Nov 92 11:23:38 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK
Originator: library@merlin.comlab

In article <1992Nov17.051213.28823@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
>One definite Anti-peeve about the whole "injured hand" bit is that now
>that my right hand is a bit gimpy I am finding out who my friends
>REALLY are!

Hmm Bill couldn't you just use your left hand for a wee while rather than
whine about your friends not coming to your "assistance".

What a wanker! (-:

Gordon
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Fishing Without A License... (Was: Campus bar peeve)
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 21:08:27 GMT


<In article <28203@castle.ed.ac.uk> fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M "Like A
Hungry Trout In Spring" Holmes) snaps:

<<jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy "Fishing In A Barrel With A Shotgun" 
<<Henderson) writes a rather long and impassioned story of gross
<<malfeasance in a campus (SOB!) pub and ends up with 2 lines:

<>ObMikeHolmesBait: The guvmint deciding that the economy will perk right up
<>once home-owners get a bit more help with their mortgages.

	Holmes snaps up the bait, swallows the hook and leaps
	from the water for line after line.

ObPeeve: Henderson probably won't bother to play Holmes properly..

ObPeeve: The easily baited (and hooked, gaffed and landed....)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Mis-used of turn signals & other stuff
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 20:08:30 GMT


In article <lh20saINN8n2@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>(Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>
>>Jenny "Call me a cab, thanks" Gutbezahl
>
>You're a cab.  You're welcome.
>

Way to go, drew!! You've taken first prize in the post an obvious joke to
alt.peeves contest!!  That's right, you've beat out Tom because your
joke got me several hours after his, meaning your joke was not only
stale, but redundant!!

Be sure to mention your newsreader in your acceptance speech; I'm sure
you couldn't have done so well if it weren't so slow.

Jenny
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more



-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,soc.culture.british,soc.culture.greek
From: gd8f@kelvin.seas.Virginia.EDU (Gregory  Dandulakis)
Subject: Re: The Scarlet Letter
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 17:55:51 GMT

In article <28405@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson) writes:
>On the off chance that the AppleOfOurEye might like to accompany us
>on trips abroad, I called the Passport Office to ask about adding her
>name to my passport. Apparently this is impossible because a) her
>mother is Greek and b) we are not married, and hence she is not a
>British Citizen. The passport people suggested that she could become a
>British Citizen by ``registration'', but when I called the Naturalization
>Office (or whatever it's called), they told me that she couldn't register
>as a British citizen because she was born ``out of wedlock'' (their words,
>not mine). 


 Very interesting! So, even though you have legally recognized your
 child as such (yours), doesn't she take the citizenship automatically?

 What about that she was born on British territory. Doesn't this give
 her the automatic right for citizenship?

 In both cases, in the US and Greece, this would have given her the
 citizenship.


>The only thing to do was to get married and ``legitimise'' the
>birth. Now I may be wrong, but I thought that Queen Victoria had been
>off the throne a good many years now, so I'm surprised to hear this
>terminology, not to mention the disgusting holier-than-thou morality it
>conceals.
>
>In order for the child to have a Greek passport, the Greek embassy claim
>that the mother must personally go to register the birth in Athens,
>filling in ``unknown'' in the space reserved for ``father's name''. They
>would then issue her a SEPARATE passport. That should prove pretty useful
>for her on those occasions when she has to dip across to the States for
>a business meeting without her parents. But it does raise the question of
>how to sit her in the Photo-Me booth, particularly since she is less than
>three weeks old and can't support her own head. And should the photo be 
>with, or without nappies? I'm sure there's an EC regulation on this.


 How come? I have seen that Greeks register their child as Greek in
 embassies and consulates abroad. I had seen one from Hartum, Sudan.
 Has this changed lately? Check it again in an other consulate.
 Ortherwise I cann't see any solution axcept your wife to travel in
 Athens...

 There is no EC regulations on that. They are discussing it very-very
 heattingly lately.


 Gr
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: THE FIRST PERSON TO POST TO THIS IS THE COOLEST
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 19:35:10 GMT

In <FRANKLIN.92Nov14220514@ug.cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve 
Franklin) writes:

>DamnPeeve: My car won't start, and I'm supposed to be over in Halifax
>           right now. Why don't my headlights turn off automatically
>           like everyone elses? 

Even your car hates you... and you still don't get it.

--

Tom Dennis                    |  I looked into the abyss,
dennis@alexia.uiuc.edu        |    and the abyss looked into me--
tadg0614@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu     |      and we both winked.
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mikey has Dain Bramage
Date: 16 Nov 92 08:10:38 -0400
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1992Nov15.201814.13525@midway.uchicago.edu>, thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank) writes:
> In article <1992Nov15.150627.8904@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>>> !Peeve: The thought of cross-posting Mikey's alt.tasteless hazing stories
>>>         in response to the next time he claims frats don't haze.
>>
>>Yawwwnnnn. Ted, I've never written a hazing story to alt.tasteless
[Ted forgets to include the "I don't haze" disclaimer. How convienent.]
>>I suppose lying must be in your genes, and that's why you make 
>>such a good lawyer. 

[stroy deleted. Bandwith saved. Birds sing].

Ted you idiot, that was about another fraternity entirely! Nice to see you 
editing my posts so creatively. You'll notice I have NOTHING WHATEVER in
the way of a part in this story. I'm not even a member in this fraternity,
you idiot! Christ.


Do go away Ted. You're really starting to sound like a fanatic. Hey, maybe
you could take your show on the road and get poor people in trailer parks
to give you money. Let's face it, it's a more honourable profession than
the legal trade.

Mike
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Subject: Re: VDOs in general
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 18:26:13 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard

In article <Bxzo6v.3wI@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:

>banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:

>>Exhaust manifold *temperature* is much more interesting.

>Manifold temp?  Wouldn't your cylinder head temp readings be just as
>informative?

A bit different I would think: usually the cylinder head temp gauges are
used on air-cooled engines (being that you can't have a coolant temp gauge)
and so its reading takes into account the cooling that your engine is
getting.  I think the exhaust manifold temp would be higher and less sensitive
to air cooling effects (especially on a turbo or supercharged engine).

>>He finished the race on three cylinders.  The amazing part is he *won* and
>>beat JZ by two laps.
>
>	What excuse did JZ use for this event?

I think JZ had to change tires for the rain.

-Dave
                              |
                             _|"_
                            /    \___
          _________________/         \__________________           _
~~~~~~~~~'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`~~~~~~~~~'~`~~~~~
From: bill@wabworld.atl.ga.us (Angus MacPeevy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Debugging the group
Date: Thu, 20 Nov 92 01:16:58 EST
Distribution: world
Organization: Shaque d'Amour

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:

> Make him go away.  Please God, there is enough misery in the world.

Jenny, my good woman, use a kill file if its that bad for you.
That's not tough, is it?  And if it's in the mailbox, well, just delete
it without reading it.  I've used both methods before and with
devastating effectiveness.  Devastating.
--
"I'm not only the Hair Club president, but I'm also a client."
  -Sy Sperling
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: avdh@sunnyboy.dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Heide)
Subject: What the road to hell is paved with
Organization: Dazix - An Intergraph Company
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 22:26:54 GMT


InformationalPeeve:  For those of you who don't know, the noble
citizens of Colorado just approved a state constitutional amendment
(No. 2) making it illegal to pass laws barring discrimination against
gays and bisexuals (Yes the language looks garbled - somebody else
can explain it to the dollhouse gang).  That such an amendment would
pass is peevesome in itself.

LanguagePeeve:  You should have seen the legalese gobbledygook on the
ballot.  Many who wanted cast a vote to make sure that evgeryone would
continue to receive legal protection, were reduced to chanting the
"no on 2" mantra in the voting before they could figure out which
hole to punch.

MainPeeve:  The boycott.  Yes, the day after the vote, PC types all
started chanting "Boycott Colorado, boycott Colorado, they're all
BAD!"  Now for the peevesome part;  Most of the places which
will be hurt by a travel ban to Colorado, are the cities which voted
against tacking this vomitous piece of hate-filled spew onto the
constitution.  For example:  I heard on the radio this morning that
some major convention which was supposed to take place in Denver next
summer, is going somewhere else.  Guess which way Denver voted?  
Same thing with skiiers.  If ski travelers bypass the state for,
say, that hotbed of tolerance Utah, Aspen suffers.  This makes
perfect sense, since it was the first city in the state to pass gay
rights ordinances.

SecondaryPeeve:  Who are they to dump on our state?  Is everything so
perfect and politically correct in the rest of the country?  Let's see...
There are still sodomy laws on the books in many states (MAJOR Peeve!).
Lets list all those states and boycott them!  The so called rust belt
has all those nasty industries which pump out all that pollution.  Boycott!
LA has a basically racist police force.  Boycott California!!  I'm sure
we could come up with reasons to boycott any state one would care to
name.

RelatedPeeve:  Colorado Springs.  This fair community is where this
nasty little glob of bile originated.  Over the past few years, 
Colorado Springs has been actively encouraging no-necked, pin-headed,
bible thumping, "Praise the Lord and pass the collection basket",
MoralNazis from all over the US to move in and set up shop, thereby
making the rest of this more or less reasonable state look like it
belongs down in the bible belt.

!Peeve:  Aspen, Denver, and Boulder (my stomping grounds) are trying to
put together a lawsuit to get this idiot thing thrown out.

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Alain van der Heide                      |  This is the way the world ends  |
| avdh@dazixco.ingr.com                    |  This is the way the world ends  |
| "The opinions expressed above are mine-  |  This is the way the world ends  |
| mineminemine, and you can't have them."  |  Not with a bang, but with a whi

segmentation fault
core dumped
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: Veteran's Day
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 15:01:51 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <BxtyMs.AG0@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>Peeve: Chuckie makes grandiose statements that have no authentication
>or base in truth. But, chuckie doesn't like truth or reality. That's why he
>loves the computer so much. He can be a big man who seems really smart, when
>in reality he is a computer geek with a thesaurus, and his mom's help.

If I had a thesaurus handy my spelling wouldn't be anywhere near
as bad as it is.

Before I replied to this last little display, I had decided
to ignore Mr Franklin. But in a fit of pique over his 
monumental stupidity, I succumbed to temptation.

Look at the results: All of us in Peevetown have had to
tolerate another pool of vomit on the floor of our
forum.

Goodbye Steve, console yourself with this: You will always
be able to tell yourself you "won"...And I won't even 
bother to correct you.

No regard at all, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@lurch.twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Il gabinetto (was a buncha other stuff)
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Somewhere West of Nowhere
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 18:06:31 GMT


Alex and Geoff have a go at the subject of the Italian latrine, and Geoff sez:

|>But when your pants are down around your ankles, are they, ah, in
|>harm's way when you Assume the Position?

Well, Geoff, I spent a year in Italy and frequently made use of the facility.
As long as you have enough gray matter not to drop 'em all the way to the
ankles you have no grounds for worry. And besides, the squat does NOT position
the feet directly in the path of the, uh, flow, anyway. Give it a go, as it
were.

--
Nolan "Dove' il gabinetto?" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky)
Subject: Re: Landlord Peeves!! (was Re: JENNY'S LES
Organization: Technical University Vienna, Dept. for Realtime Systems, AUSTRIA
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 13:38:04 GMT

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>But when your pants are down around your ankles, are they, ah, in
>harm's way when you Assume the Position?

if they were around your ankles, yes. the recommended procedure is
to lower the pants to the level of the knees, and then assume the position. 
if done correctly, the fabric is wedged safely between the thighs and 
the shanks and is therefore safe from harm. 

try it now, if you don't believe me. if nothing else, it should stop your 
officemate dead in her tracks. 


-alex

-- 
Alexander Vrchoticky             alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
TU Vienna, CS/Real-Time Systems  +43/1/58801-8168
From: library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The Best of Alt.Peeves
Date: 17 Nov 92 11:17:16 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK
Originator: library@merlin.comlab

In article <BxtswK.H45@vcd.hp.com> dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Johnny Carson) writes:
>
>Peeve: all of my precious quotes and articles from alt.peeves over the
>last year and a half were archived in an arcane format readable only by
>coal-burning devices with 3-inch copper tubing.
>
>-Dave
>

At last a man who needs coal!  There's a guy here in Ol' Blighty you should
ring, John Major (Chief Executive of UK plc) or his sidekick Heseltine.
They'll give you 30000 miners, all the coal you'll ever need and a couple
of coal fired power stations to boot. Free, gratis, for nowt. Just
keep them open. You'll be doing the Free World (tm) a big favour.

Gordon
Newsgroups: alt.peeves