From: rjung@nunki.usc.edu (Robert A. Jung)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.tiny-toon,rec.arts.animation,rec.arts.tv
Subject: TINY TOONS Upcoming Episodes! (tag credits, album warning)
Date: 10 Apr 1992 17:36:52 -0700
Organization: Southern California Lynx Enthusiasts
NNTP-Posting-Host: nunki.usc.edu

(Cue "Late Night With David Letterman" theme music)

Announcer: From Los Angeles, where the smog comes in designer flavors, it's
           "The TINY TOON ADVENTURES Upcoming Episodes List!" Tonight's
           topics -- upcoming episodes, a warning about the album, assorted
           trivia, and another reminder to write your letters to Warner
           Brothers.

           And now, a man who loses arguments to pink bunnies all the time,
           Robert Jung!

(Cut to TTAUEC set. Robert Jung walks out in a suit in basic black. He waves
to the audience, and gestures incomprehensibly to the band. The camera cuts
to a brief glance of the band -- Buster and Babs are jockeying for position
around the MIDI keyboard, Calamity wrestles with a three-headed guitar, Gogo
is plucking a trout, and Dizzy beats the drums in a cloud of dust.

Music ends on a cresendo. Cut back to Robert)

Robert J.: Hi, folks, and welcome to another installment of our show. You
           know what? Backstage, I was talking to our producer Steven, and
           while I was adjusting my tie, he says the strangest thing to me.
           You guys know what he said?

   Buster: Eeeeeh?

Robert J.: He says -- and I'm not kidding -- "Scare somebody with flowers."
           SCARE SOMEBODY WITH FLOWERS! While I'm adjusting my TIE! Is that
           _stupid_ or what?

(Pan to audience. Everyone is wearing a dazed glaze. A rimshot is heard)

Robert J.: ...Er, okay. Forget the jokes.

     Babs: Thank goodness.

Robert J.: Yeah, anyway, this is the part of our show where we do our bit to
           save TINY TOON ADVENTURES. I just want you folks to do more than
           read this stuff every week -- break out those pens and write!
           I've written my bits, and the rest of the TTAUEC staff have been
           doing their part. (turns to band) How many letters did you guys
           write?

(Camera cuts to band, and pans across everyone from front-to-back)

   Buster: I can't write in -- I'm a Warners employee.

     Babs: Oh, I was going to write, but what I really want to do is direct.

 Calamity: (Holds up sign that reads "Lots!")

     Gogo: Write? Stephen Wright? "I bought some batteries, but they weren't
           included", hyuck hyuck hyuck hyuck hyuck...

    Dizzy: Huh? (Hits drums, then breaks into a big stupid grin)

(Cut back to Robert. He's looking really desperate now)

Robert J.: O-kay. ... Hal, can we run that letter-campaign clip? PLEASE?

(Cut to a TV blue screen. The following text scrolls by very rapidly:

Warner Bros. has not officially set any plans for TINY TOON ADVENTURES after
the third season (1992-1993). If you want to see the show continue, voice
your support! Send letters to:

                                        Tiny Toon Adventures
    Bob Daly                            Warner Animation
    Warner Bros. / Burbank Studios      15303 Ventura Boulevard
    4000 Warner Boulevard               Suite 1100
    Burbank, CA  91523                  Sherman Oaks, CA  91403

    (President of Warner Bros.)         (TTA Writers and Staff)

Tips for effective letter-writing campaigns, from alt.tv.tiny-toon
and Sally Smith's experience on "Save Quantum Leap":

1. VOLUME. One letter from fifty people is nice; fifty letters from fifty
    people is much better!

2. PROFESSIONALISM. Be formal, be kind, be polite. Don't go "off the deep
    end", just tell Warners that you like their show, and that you would like
    to see more new episodes.

3. STYLE. Either type or _neatly_ print/handwrite your letter. Handwriting
    may be a good idea, to show that you are not using a computerized form
    letter.

4. BIG TITLES. Have an official-sounding title you can use? Use it!
    Similarly, if you can use formal company stationery and/or a business
    card, do so. Status _does_ make a difference. Just don't get into
    trouble by misidentifying yourself as a company representative.

5. BE STEALTHY. If possible, don't mention that you're part of an organized
    letter-writing campaign. Give the impression that writing a letter of
    support was your own idea, even if you have to lie to do it. (grin)

Write early, write often! Only by working together and showing our support
can we keep this show going! Any similarities between this post and the
scripts of a certain late-night talk show are more than intentional, but if
you needed this very large paragraph to spell this stuff to you, then you
need professional help. We recommend hitting yourself over the head
repeatedly with a large blunt instrument until--

Camera cuts back to TTAUEC set, with Robert sitting behind a wobbily folding
card table)

Robert J.: Uh, okay. Next on our program is a bit of trivia fun. Babs, I
           said TRIVIA FUN! How about some "trivia music" already?

           (a tinny kalidescope tune begins to play)

           So, folks, have you ever looked at those clips at the end of each
           TINY TOON ADVENTURES episode and said to yourself "Gee, I wonder
           who animated those things?". Well, WONDER NO MORE!

           From the home office in Acme Acres (and Warner Bros. Burbank), it's
           "Top Ten TINY TOONS Tag Animators":

           #10. "I wanna flush it again!"                   --Startoons
            #9. "And that's a wrap."                        --Warner Bros.
            #8. "Say goodnight, Babs." "'Goodnight, Babs'"  --Warner Bros.
            #7. "Let the show begin!"                       --Wang Film
            #6. "Au revoir, ma petit potato du couche."     --Startoons
            #5. "ROAR! ..Meow?"                             --Startoons
            #4. "It's been surreal!"                        --Warner Bros.
            #3. "Parting is such sweet sorrow."             --Warner Bros.

          Er... (reads list in a low mumble) Okay, who spilled the Coke on
          my Top Ten list?

(From off-screen, a spray of water hits Robert in the face. The band giggles
hysterically)

Robert J.: Okay, so the rest of this isn't 100% confirmed...

            #2. "Alllloooooooooooooooha!"                   --Warner Bros.
            #1. "Show over!"                                --Warner Bros.
            #0. "Woof."                                     --???

 Audience: NUMBER ZERO?

Robert J.: What?!? (Looks at list. A puzzled expression crosses his face)

   Buster: Oh, give them the schedule already.

Robert J.: Right. Right! The schedule! Here now is the TINY TOON ADVENTURES
           episodes airing through the month of May...

     Babs: About time.

(Cut to another blue screen as the following scrolls:

                TINY TOON ADVENTURES Upcoming Episodes Guide

Week of April 13, 1992 - April 17, 1992
        Monday          165     K-ACME TV
        Tuesday         104     You Asked For It        ** ALBUM RELEASED **
        Wednesday       161     The Acme Home Shopping Show
        Thursday        112     Gang Busters
        Friday          158     How Sweetie It Is

Week of April 20, 1992 - April 24, 1992
        Monday          147     No Toon is an Island
        Tuesday         109     Rock 'n Roar
        Wednesday       107     Buster and the Wolverine
        Thursday        164     New Character Day
        Friday          106     Hero Hamton

Week of April 27, 1992 - May 1, 1992
        Monday          110     Looniversity Days       
        Tuesday         111     Career Opportunities
        Wednesday       136     The Wacko World of Sports
        Thursday        103     Strange Tales of Weird Science
        Friday          139     Pollution Solution

Camera cuts back to Robert. He looks relieved, for the first time in the
evening. A cartoon hand hands him a note, and he quickly scans it)

Robert J.: Oh, hey, folks, here's something interesting! You know that
           upcoming TINY TOONS album? We got an advanced preview of it!

           Er...

(Robert scans the note again)

           No, that can't be right.

(He scans it again)

           Huh?

(He reads it one more time, turns it over, reads it backwards, and finally
pulls out a Bic lighter and sets it on fire)

           Okay... According to an advanced review of the TINY TOONS album,
           it's _not_ exactly full of the adult-oriented zinging satire that
           we fans might expect. Instead, there's word that the album is
           geared more for younger kids and lobotomy patients. You know, the
           folks who think THE LITTLE MERMAID is sophisticated drama, that
           kind of crowd.

           I suppose, then, you might not want to buy this thing sound
           unheard; either listen to it first, or wait until someone here at
           TTAUEC gets a formal review of it. Hey, guys, when _are_ we
           getting a copy of that tape?

   Buster: How should I know? I'm still waiting to get a real role, instead
           of a two-bit cameo in this post.

     Babs: Yeah! What he said!

Robert J.: Okay, if you're going to take that attitude, we'll just stop the
           show right now! 'Bye, folks! See you next week! Show's over! Go
           home! That's it! There's nothing to read here! Please disperse!
           Get lost!

(Sound of end-of-show music plays. Credits roll on the screen. As the screen
fades to black, the following can be heard:)

Robert J.: Okay, so the "Letterman" schtick wasn't that great an idea.

     Babs: Don't quit your day job.

                                                --R.J.
                                                B-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   Babs: "I think it's time we associated with a better class of guys. Suave
            guys. Sophisticated guys."
Shirley: "Guys who wouldn't feed a Stealth Bomber to a Tasmanian Devil."
~~~~~~~~~~~ These opinions are all mine, but you're welcome to 'em. ~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Tiny Tooned!                     Send assorted silliness to rjung@usc.edu