HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: bicker@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Subject: Re: Engagement Gifts for MEN
Reply-To: Brian.C.Kohn@att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Organization: The Internet
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 18:49:41 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance

In article <1992Jul31.153628.200@unislc.uucp> erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:
>markway1112@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
>: when he "pops the question".  On that special day, I'd like to give him
>: an engagement gift too
>I don't have any great ideas, except to say that it should (IMHO) be
>something masculine.  As an engagement ring is feminine and expresses
>his feelings for you, so should your gift be masculine and express your
>feelings for him.  

I dunno if I can agree that a ring is feminine.  A feminine ring is
feminine; a mascaline ring is mascaline.

I'm not a ringwearer normally, but when Robbie gave me an "engagment"
ring (which happened to have been her late-father's ring) I made an
exception.  I now wear it all the time.

-- 
Brian Charles Kohn               using !bicker's account
Poet-Magician of "Quality"       E-MAIL: att!hoqax!bicker  (bicker@hoqax.ATT.COM)
    'Hope, not fear, is the most positive advocate of action.' - S.R. Lawhead
                   Stamp Out "SO": "RP" = "Romantic Partner"
From: scats@matt.ksu.ksu.edu (Eric Fred Brunt)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Friends & lovers..
Date: 21 Jul 1992 16:16:42 -0500
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: matt.ksu.ksu.edu

 I just thought I would put in my two cents worth here.  When dealing with a friend relationship or a more serious one, you have to think that all ppl are diffe
rent but not too different to not know what kind of steps to take in establishin
g a relationship of any kind.  In certain instances things happen quickly enough
that you don't have a chance to decide which you want, friends or something moreserious.  In my opinion (and in most of my experiences) I want to be friends no matter what the extent of the relationship ends up to be.  Sometimes it is easie
r to be friends in the beginning so you can be friends in the end, BUT that is n
ot always the case.  I think there is thrill in the unforseen that you loose when you start with a friends relationship.

Eric Brunt
Computer Technician
Kansas State University

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: helie@bach.udel.edu (Ray)
Subject: What is a Relationship? (WAS: Essence of Relationships)
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 22:40:16 GMT
Expires: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 04:00:00 GMT

In article <83954@netnews.upenn.edu> 
rpatel@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Rachana D Patel) writes:

" I am trying to figure out the true meaning
  or philosophical meaning of the need to have relationships. 
  Basically, I would like to undertand the difference between a relatioship
  and a strong/close friendship. "

" What I am trying to understand is the line between a close friendship and
  a relationship. "

What stands out in my mind: it's a friendship where you don't have to
do anything special to be loved -- you are loved simply because you
are there, unconditionally, similar to when you were an infant.

You don't have to do anything special -- the other person just loves 
you for you!  You are *totally* free to be yourself, without fear of 
being ridiculed or rejected!  Free to be who you are in the
presence of a friend, who is on your side no matter what.  
Free to grow the way only you can grow, and to be supported and 
loved for it no matter how it turns out.  The better a *friendship* 
is, the more you are able to be yourself.  A relationship is this 
sort of great friendship in its ultimate form -- you are able to 
share your entire being.

You are able to express love physically in a way that you *can't* 
with anyone else.  You are able to express parts of who you are 
that remain hidden from everyone else.  It is the freedom to live 
without bounds, and to be loved all the while you are doing it!  

And on top of it all, it is the privaledge to *return* all of these
amazing gifts -- to participate in the ultimate form of sharing.  
You are able to give another human being the same freedom they have
given you -- and it continually builds upon itself until, throughout 
your lifetime, you have crafted a bond that is so beautiful and
full of life, it leaves behind an *incredible* example for others to 
live by.  Imagine how much *more* of a person you can *both* become 
when you have that ultimate friend there to share your life with, 
supporting each other's every desire to learn and grow and become more!

*That* is a relationship!  8-)  



Ray  8-)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: partee@iastate.edu (Jonathan F Partee)
Subject: PMS
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, IA
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 17:08:38 GMT

Write this down on a calender, someone, I find myself agreeing with
Christine.

The reason that you don't accuse a woman who is angry at you of having her
judgement tempered by PMS is because you are effectively trivializing her
concerns.  If you trivialize her concerns, you are trivializing her.  
Different women handle PMS differently, and just because you know women who
get hostile during PMS DOES NOT give you the right to assume that all women
are going to respond likewise.  I've known women to get sad and not hostile.
I've known women who don't seem to be affected at all.  

I was very annoyed to read the letter from the "gentleman" who wrote that
Christine's anger was biologically based and not REALLY what she believed.
How would you like to be upset with someone and have them tell you that 
you aren't really angry with them?  I don't know about you, but I get pretty
annoyed when people tell me I'm not feeling what I'm feeling.  I don't know
about you, but if I overreact because I've had a bad day, I still want people
to take me seriously.  Just because I'm overreacting, doesn't mean that 
something's not wrong.  I WILL NOT BE TRIVIALIZED.  I WILL NOT BE TOLD THAT
MY ANGER IS NOT *REALLY* WHAT I'M FEELING.  No one else should be either.  

Jonathan 
-- 
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Jonathan Partee      |email:                  | "And you shall know the    |
|Graduate Slave       |  partee@iastate.edu    |  truth and the truth shall |
|Iowa State University|                        |  make you free"    Jn 8.32 | 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: blind date
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 19:49:35 GMT

gtao@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Greg) writes:

: go for it!
: 
: what are you afraid of...just be yourself and treat it as a chance to get
: to know her...geeze, don't people just go out to have a good time anymore???

I agree!  I, too, used to be *painfully* shy ... until I saw that the world
(and the women) were passing me by.  I used to think that I could sit in a
corner, and the sensitive, intelligent, perceptive women would seek me out.
Come to find out, there are *no* women who fit that criteria who will take
the time to seek someone out -- they are too busy fighting off the bozos
of the male world (99% of them) that keep hitting on them.

So, out comes Ed, out of his shell.  It's been several years now, and I
*still* stumble over my tongue sometimes (see, my tongue gets wrapped around
my eyeteeth and I can't see what I'm saying...), but I manage to muddle
through.  Even manage to get a date every now and then :)
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG     erc@apple.com                801/269-8125
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude)
Subject: Re: "god" made man first...
Organization: None, today. Thank you.
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 21:16:35 GMT

 (Stephen Dennison) teaches word anatomy while...
>> puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude) falls flat on his full-circle
(__________)  [insert body part of choice]...
>
>>How did this thread get started in alt.romance? 
>Obligatory Appropriate Newsgroup Disclaimer... 
>I find humor *quite* romantic if handled properly... film at 11 ...

Is *THAT* why when I undress for one of those *romantic* times, my
wife bursts out laughing...

>>Sticker seen on the bumper of a "dyke" 
>I was unaware that water-retaining walls had bumpers... hmmmmmmmmm :-)

Started being put there in 1987 due to a congressional act. Something
about blind boaters...

>>(that's what "she" called herself)
>.. and we go on to attribute `gender' to the wall... *interesting*, 'puter

I have a hetero-wall fetish.. *grin*

>>When God made man, she was only joking.
>.. which brings us *full-circle*... wasn't *this* one one of the original 
>slogans in this thread ? 

Uh, er, gee. Probably. Missed the original. Could you please lift that
rock there so I may slither back home? I think my wife is calling...

-- 
Puter	puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com	.sig by Generic Labels
(Put obnoxious title here)		(Put phone # here.)
(Put irritating quote here. Please make it as long as possible.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.suicide.holiday
From: tokorhon@messi.uku.fi (Tommi Korhonen)
Subject: Re: Male-Female relationships explained
Date: 20 Jul 92 06:44:07 GMT
Organization: University of Kuopio, Finland

erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:

>That the female is superior to the male in all but sheer physical strength
>is clearly pointed out in Taoist sexual literature.  "Secrets Of The Jade
>Bedroom" is only one such classic that points this out.

Good that it has been proven now.
-- 
It's Tkorho above there, at tokorhon@messi.uku.fi
-A Man is a nice creature: he only kills and rapes and muders,
           but what comes to the Women...
From: HJ46@lafibm.lafayette.edu (Baboo (Holton, Jeffrey))
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Ideas and suggestions on long distance relationships.. PLEAS
Date: 26 Jul 92 18:20:05 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <1992Jul23.132559.10279@cbnewsi.cb.att.com> bicker@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality) writes:
>In article <1992Jul22.181857.3515@wam.umd.edu> tedwards@wam.umd.edu (technopagan priest) writes:
>>In article <1992Jul22.151115.10521@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu> daw@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (Dave Webb) writes:

>I would suggest you don't always meet up in NYC, but in Baltimore
>some.  It's a more affordable city to meet in first of all, and I feel
>safter in Baltimore than in my own hometown (NYC).  More importantly,
>this way one partner isn't "carrying all the weight" of the
>relationship, something which almost broke mine up.


That's an extremely decent suggestion.  However, there are those of us
who

   a)  don't have cars
   b)  hate public transportation and couldn't afford it even if we
       didn't
   c)  think bicycling 120 miles is a little much


..actually, c doesn't sound so bad.  Heck, I'd bicycle from
From: markway1112@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Now there's time for love- THANKS
Date: 27 Jul 92 09:03:40 -0500
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

Hi everyone!

Thanks to ALL of you who sent me some ideas on how to keep a serious
relationship not just alive, but growing!! :)  This weekend, we
actually spent some time talking during a walk in a park- most of
the time we spend together is either making a rushed dinner or
watching a movie.  It was so refreshing just to get away from everything
for a while... thanks!!  Today I'm writing him a long mushy
letter- and I can't wait to try out the other ideas!  :)

I'm sorry to have stolen your name, Tigger... is he your favorite
storybook character too? :)  Oh well... I always DID think that
a Tigger all alone with no other Tiggers to play with would be
lonely! 

My sincere gratitude and hugs to all-

Tigger   ("That's a T-I-double-GRRR")


Thanks to ALL of you who sent lots of ideas on how to keep a seriou
From: Catherine.Collingwood@bbs.oit.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Friends & lovers..
Date: 22 Jul 92 03:22:23 GMT
Organization: Extended Bulletin Board Service

In article <22101.1979225482@kcbbs.gen.nz> Rob_Tan@kcbbs.gen.nz (Rob Tan) writes:
>So if you're presently inetrested in someone, do you get to know him/her
>better than at a later stage ask him/her out, or ask what is virtually 
>a stranger out? Not that doing either is ethically or morally worng 
> (whcih it obviously isn't), but I guess I'm asking if there's a 'safer' 
>path to take..?

Bad news, Rob.  There *is* no safe path but cutting yourself off from a     
relationbship altogether of any sort.  What you have to do is ask yourself,
Am I willing to risk screwing up this friendship to see if we could work
in another type of relationship, or do I value this friendship too much
to risk it like that?
Of course, you could always sit around waiting for something to drop into
your lap (like someone who challenges you intellectually while the sparks
fly), but I wouldn't recommend this.

It's always been beyond me how So's in a serious relationship can *not*
be friends, sometimes friends first, but that's my advice.

Catherine Collingwood, aka Lady Firebird
ignore the post address, my e-mail address is catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu
"Imagination is only intelligence having fun." --Anon.
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  bbs.oit.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
From: c91imc@prg.ox.ac.uk (Ian Crawshaw)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: blind date
Date: 30 Jul 92 19:22:43 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK

In article <1992Jul29.143535.1@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au> eda537esys@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au writes:
>
>To go on a blind date or not to go on a blind date.....

[situation about friend setting him up a blind date deleted ...]

>on the other hand i may as well go for it like it can do know harm
>and this person is pretty good judge of peoples character and personalitys so
>maybe it will go ok and something could develop...
>
>
>Any suggestions or hints...

Your last paragraph says it all ... if you go it may be a disaster but what have
you lost out of it? NOTHING!!! It may even be a success :-)

If you don't go you may well have missed out on something good ...

Go for it!

Ian.
================================================================================
c91imc@prg.ox.ac.uk				       Ian.Crawshaw@prg.ox.ac.uk

		I don't post often enough to bother with a .sig
================================================================================
From: sut@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Secure Unix Team KID01)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Advice on this problem much appreciated...
Keywords: advice, romance, touching, advances
Date: 28 Jul 92 15:13:56 GMT
Organization: ICL Bracknell, UK

>Article 15282 of alt.romance:
>Path: dsbc!uknet!mcsun!uunet!munnari.oz.au!bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au!griffin!kraken!hbsperki
>From: hbsperki@kraken.itc.gu.edu.au (James Perkins)
>Newsgroups: alt.romance
>Subject: Advice on this problem much appreciated...
>Summary: Advice on this problem much appreciated...
>Keywords: advice, romance, touching, advances
>Message-ID: <hbsperki.712210591@kraken>
>Date: 27 Jul 92 04:16:31 GMT
>Sender: news@griffin.itc.gu.edu.au
>Organization: ITC, Griffith University, Brisbane, Australia
>Lines: 31
>Nntp-Posting-Host: kraken.itc.gu.edu.au
>
>I am currently in the beginning stages of a relationship with a friend of
>mine, and it seems to be going OK at this point.  She has come over to my
>place for dinner, and we have gone out for coffee and a long chat.  It's
>been fun.
>
>However, I have a question: I am unsure on how to proceed.  For too long I
>have been unsure of myself with regards initiating physical intimacy.  I
>know that this relates to my upbringing (and I could enter into a big debate
>here, but I won't), but it is still difficult for me.  What I suppose I am
>asking is: how do I know when it is appropriate to give a hug or a kiss or
>other expressions of affection?  I haven't even established at this point
>whether she is looking for a platonic or romantic relationship.
>
>Despite my age (all I will say is that I am under 25) I am very unsure about
>these sorts of things.  I want to express my affection non-verbally but I am
>extremely inhibited physically.  I haven't even held hands with her yet.  I
>have no real problems once a relationship gets going...inhibition and
>insecurity is not an issue there.  It is just in this initial stage, when we
>are still establishing our "norms" or what it is acceptable and not
>acceptable to do, that I have problems.

>Any ideas?  Replies from both males who have been in a similar situation
>(I'm sure you all have...everybody has to decide on their mutual behaviours
>at some point, although I suspect it's probably not as conscious as I am
>trying to make it) and from females who can provide advice on what they do
>on such occasions are most welcome.
>
>Could you please send any replies to me direct via e-mail as I don't always
>have access to the net...e-mail will ensure that I receive them.
>
>Thankyou.
>

	Well, just do what my old man said to me,

	"Son, just sit on 'er shoulders and whack it down 'er neck!"


	Cheers Blue!

-- 
 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 | Martyn Amos -- Secure UNIX Team, ICL Kidsgrove, Staffs., ST7 1TL    O/  |
 | mra@skoda.zen.icl.co.uk -- Tel. (0782) 771000 Ext. 3152            /|   |
 | >>>>>>>>>>>>>> T E R M I N A L L Y   G R O O V Y <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<   / >  |
 |            Disclaimer: My mental state is not ICL's fault.              |
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Why ? Was:I don't know why I am posting this...
Date: 28 Jul 92 17:51:22 GMT
Reply-To: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Organization: BNR Europe Limited, London Road, Harlow, Essex, GB

In the referenced article ghosty@terapin.com (Noah Hanna) writes:
>Quote:
> 
>   I think that women have the freedom to ask too, and they should take
>   it.
>
>But it may not be a good idea because if they do this they appear less
>attractive in the eyes of most men. 
>-end-
>Well, I, being a shy guy (not trademarked, sorry) would find it pretty
>releaving if more females would take the initiative. SO if youre looking for a
>shy guy, it might be a good idea to ask em out, otherwise you might be waiting
>for an awfully long time...
>  __     .  .     
> /_-host (/\)riter

Hear, hear. If "most men" really do think this, it could explain a lot!
eg. why women think so little of us. *I* don't think it, and I bet an
awful lot of reasonably sensitive guys don't either.

(Exercise for the reader: spot the gross generalisations used above and
insert "IMHO", "most", or whatever as appropriate -- the sentiments are
still genuine, however.)

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
From: HJ46@lafibm.lafayette.edu (Baboo (Holton, Jeffrey))
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I AM DONE WITH THEM!
Date: 26 Jul 92 16:59:30 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <1992Jul13.204200.5549@bnr.co.uk> dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:

>They've got us right where they want us. The sad thing is that so many men
>don't realise this. Poor fools. The female plot is victorious! All bow to
>The goddess Woman!
>
>Dontcha just love 'em though -- all the prettynesses and the sweet smiles?
>Ahhh shucks! :-) I 'ate 'em! ;-)
>
>I'll bet you'll be liking the looks of one again before the the end of the
>week. Sucker. ;-) Re-join the just-give-in-and-not-give-up club! :-)
>
>Stewart, on a more positive day,
>
>
>PS. Err, what happened exactly? ;-)
>
>===========================================================================
>Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
>                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
>dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ITN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
>===========================================================================
>  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
>===========================================================================

I feel the sudden urge to quote Kirk from Star Trek I.

"We've got him right where he wants us."

I think that's more the situation.  =)

--Jeffrey
hj46@lafayacs.bitnet
route it however you want...just get it here.

"BITNET:  We promise, we'll get it there.  Can't say when, but we'll
get it there."
From: cs89jmb@brunel.ac.uk (Jason M Banham)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Finally...!!!
Date: 22 Jul 92 20:02:47 GMT
Organization: Brunel University, Uxbridge, UK
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3

Very nice Karen,

I'm happy for you ;-)

But what I want to know is why is it that "every" girl I speak to I seem to get
on just fine, then bang! 4-5 days down the line I hear the B word,

Me: "Would you like to go to the Academy this Friday ?"
Her: "Oh my boyfriend is coming down to see me this weekend"

For such a bloody long time I just keep hearing this "B" word!
Well, as you say don't give up hope ... (but it's getting depressing :-{)

Jayce 

kam@waikato.ac.nz writes:
: I am delighted to say that I think I might just have a budding romance under
: way.  I caught up with a friend that I met over summer and whom I hadn't seen
: since the end of summer.  Anyway I have run into him three times in the last
: couple of weeks and I have a strong inkling that things just might develop. 
: I've been out having a good time and enjoying my own company.  It will be nice
: to have someone around again.
: 
: For those of you who are out there not actively pursuing don't give up - it'll
: happen in the end!
: 
: Karen

--

"A superlative suggestion sir, with only two drawbacks: one, we don't
 have any defensive shields and two, we don't have any defensive shields.
 I know that, technically, that's only one drawback, but it was such a
 big one I thought I'd mention it twice".  -- Kryten, Red Dwarf

Jason "Archangel" Banham                Sequent Computer Systems UK
                                        Product Support
Internet: aangel@sequent.co.uk
          cs89jmb@brunel.ac.uk