From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Probability of Evolution
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 92 07:28:16 GMT

 
varney@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (Al Varney) writes:
 
] In article <LZ78TB16w165w@kalki33> kalki33!system@lakes.trenton.sc.us writes:
] >varney@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (Al Varney) writes:
] >
] >>    Have you also calculated the probability of the watchmaker being
] >> formed without a designer, without guidance?  If not, does that mean
] >> someone/something designed the watchmaker?  And would that designer
] >> be even more complex than the watchmaker?  What is the probability
] >> of your EXACT God coming into existence without a designer?
] >>
] >>    Or are these areas we're not allowed to ponder/investigate?
] >
] >Indeed, ponder it.
]
]    I have -- lots.  It seems that it would take a designer even
] more complex than GOD to design GOD, and this designer would
] require an even more complex designer, etc.  Where does it end?
]
]    So the possibilities I've come up with are:
] 1) The Universe was not created, but always "was" -- or it was
]    created from nothing at the Big One.
]
] 2) GOD was not created, but always "was" -- or was created from
]    the Big One.
]
] 3) The assumption that GOD needed a more complex designer is
]    incorrect, and 1 or more simpler designers created GOD.
 
[...]
 
]    Of course, maybe I missed some other possibility ... or maybe
] the question doesn't make sense....
 
Well, there's always....
 
#evangelical_mode(ON)
 
Friends--and you are all my friends--we know that evolution is a lie.
And how do we know this?  We know this because it denies the existence
of God--yes, God.  And the denial of God is an abomination unto Her and
is sufficient reason for Her to cancel your Kosmic Karma Kredit Kard and
doom you to an eternity of having to pay for your sins in cash.  And,
friends, we wouldn't want that, would we?  <Studio audience, reading
teleprompter:  "No!">
 
But, friends, we also have the fossil record and, no matter how many
times you repeat "hydrological sorting" to yourself and no matter how
much of the holy spirits you imbibe, there is no denying that organisms
have arisen in a chronological order that seems almost--dare I say
it--evolutionary.  <Cries of "No!" resound from the studio audience.>
 
Yet there is one way to resolve our faith with the world around us--we
must realize that, though species did not evolve, nor did they change
into one another, God, proving that Her perfection does not equal
stagnation, did!  <Studio audience:  "Praise be!">
 
The early precambrian God was quite primitive by our modern
standards--able to create only things like rocks and water and, yet
unable to transform water into wine, She could only turn water into
soup.  Yet, as She grew in power, She was able to create complex chains
of amino acids, self-catalyzing RNA molecules that She placed near ocean
floor volcanic vents and, not so very long after She acomplished the
miracle of transforming CO2 into O2, She learned how to create
multicellular lifeforms.
 
Yet, these species She created, like all things, died out soon after
their warranties expired and, like the way we buy new cars when our old
ones die, She replaced old species with new ones, following the latest
trends of whether spikes or armor or hair was "in" that eon.  Sometimes,
like the way when your blender breaks down, your electric mixer and your
Mister Coffee do too, when one species would die out, many (even most)
of the species She used for the same purposes would vanish as well.
 
This, you see, is why we find so few transitional forms--and why those
we do find only existed for a short while.  "Transitional forms" are the
species that didn't fit right, were the wrong color, or ones where She
found a better model on sale soon afterwards and returned them.
 
Eventually, the quite advanced cro-magnon God evolved into our modern
God and created humans, the pinnacle of creation, in Her own image.
After a bit of thought, She created men too, so that women would have
something to complain about.
 
Around the world, work is already underway to prove the truth of this
scientifically.  The fossil record is fully in agreement, and our
missionaries are still participating in digs all around the globe,
hoping to turn up that one piece of evidence that would truly confirm
what I've said here today--a discarded waranty card or a dropped sales
slip for one of earth's past species.  At the present time, we believe
that the reason we haven't found one yet is that they are currently
accumulating at the bottom of God's purse, but we have hopes that She
would have been dropped one somewhere where it could have become
fossilized.
 
The Reverend Doctor Trygve Lode

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