From: krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith)
Subject: Re: Interracial Dating
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 18:57:10 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.173109.497@morrow.stanford.edu> HF.GTD@forsythe.stanford.edu (Gabrielle Daniels) writes:
>In article <1992Oct12.141113.10347@cbnewsk.cb.att.com>,
>krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith) writes:
>>
>>What I am reading between the lines in both of these postings is the
>>concept that, in an interracial relationship, the "races" of the partners
>>is at the crux of the relationship, ie., the idea that a black man would
>>date a given white woman because he wants/prefers white women, as opposed
>>to the idea that people are people, and a given man and woman could meet
>>and see something, each in the other, that they are attracted to, where
>>"race" is a non-issue.  Personally, I would have my doubts about a person
>>who, by their dating habits, shows a distinct anti-preference for their
>>own "racial"/ethnic group, but, outside of that, love is where you find it.
>>I also think that anybody thinking about entering into an interracial
>>relationship really has their work cut out for them.  I am not talking
>>any special problems in dealing with a partner of another "race", but in
>>dealing with some other folx who see you together and don't like it.
>.
>.
>As for myself, I've dated white guys, but to tell you the truth,
>some are worse than most, and vice versa.  Love is not always where
>you find it. I prefer to give brothers a chance these days, but of
>course, most of them are still rather white woman or
>Asian/Chicana-Latina/or fill in the blank-struck. 

It is plain that you are in a differrent neighborhood than I am :).
Are you saying that most brothers, given their "druthers", would
druther date a non-sistah than a sistah?  If so, you and your homegirls
should hop the next flight to Philly :).

>I don't blame
>the colored sistahs for this situation, seriously.  Any children
>from such a union are still black children in my view.
>.
>For example, if you're a black male, and you've been propagandized,
>etc., that a white woman is the epitome of womanhood, you're going
>to go for her.  Then again, there is the preference number. 

I am a black male, and I have a mind of my own.  Please give the
brothas credit for being able to tell the "hype" from the reality.

>While
>rereading "The Color Purple," I saw how Walker defined how Celie
>turned towards women because of her molestation by her stepfather.
>Notice that Celie didn't go for the next white woman down the road,
>she went after a black sister. I think the rather simplistic moral
>to finding love is, who is not going to hurt me?  If a black man
>                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>you love is hurting you, do you consider all black men rats, or do
>you keep trying to find the right black man for you?  If they are
>all that way in your eyes, think again...is it you or the guys?  

If you are suggesting that the only/major reason that one might date/marry
"outside of the race" is some sort of dissatisfication with, or disdain for
potential mates "within the race", then I beg to differ.  I don't denigh
that it has happenned, does happen, and most likely will continue to happen
in some small percentage of IR relationships, but you would have a tough
time proving to me that this is the norm.

>If
>you have other standards that X-out black men, fine. But if you just
>don't like black men, perhaps you should examine just what it is...
>.

A person who "just doesn't like" his/her own would strike me as
more-than-a-little mentally ill.  How could such a person look at
their own face in the morning, and still harbor such disdain for
others who look like them?

>Apparently Jack Johnson, the black champion boxer, thought black
>sisters were the worst thing on earth, and said so. 

This is the kind of thinking that escapes me!  It is one thing to be
attracted to individuals "outside of the race", and quite another to
have disdain for "your own".  I have met a few persons like that.
That special kind of self hate (what else could it be?) gives me
the "willies".

>He upped and
>married two white women.  Richard Wright had the same idea.
>
		[ stuff deleted ]

Keith
Newsgroups: soc.culture.african.american