From: mahadeva@point.cs.uwm.edu (Aruna Mahadevan)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: Re: More about India
Date: 8 Oct 92 01:02:55 GMT
Organization: University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.2.5

In article <MeomZEa00WBM842Jhx@andrew.cmu.edu> Sugato Bhattacharyya <sb0i+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>
>In addition, I would like to hear from the Indian women using the net as
>to why they think the situation is as it is in India. The first thing
>that crops up in my mind is the lack of adequate mixing between the
>sexes from early ages. However, I doubt that this is the sole
>explanation: I have personally seen stone-age attitudes toward women
>expressed by men who have gone to school in a coeducational environnment
>all their lives. Any takers?
>
I think the most important reason for this kind of behaviour in India is
that men don't respect women as individuals.  A little boy growing up in
this kind of environment picks up the same attitude as the adults.
I've been quite shocked to see husbands even beat their wives in the
presence of little children.
99% of males consider the woman to be their "slave" who HAS to do all
their cooking and cleaning, making babies and taking care of babies.
The lack of interaction between the sexes also leads to awkwardness and
increases mystery, but I don't see how that can lead to such
reprehensible behaviour.   By the same argument, shouldn't women also
engage in harrassing men???

I have my doubts about a coeducational environment being right for
women -- they would have very little opportunity to ask questions in
class, and to initiate serious discussions because the men would be more
aggressive and get more of the teacher's time.  Your sentence about men
who have been in a coeducational environment having stone-age attitudes,
I think, only goes to prove that men don't respect women and it is
social conditioning from an early age.  

The other important cause is the brainwashing of females into believing
that they are somehow inferior and should be subservient to males.  Young
girls should be given the self-confidence and courage to stand up for
themselves.  Also, the blaming of the victim in a harrassment charge has
to stop -- no woman will come forward if she is made to feel like she
provoked it -- women have to realize that it is NOT their fault when
they get harrassed but rather the man's fault and they should be held
responsible for their actions.

>With respect to the person who would condemn the practice of 'men
>picking up women at bars' as being an example of the terrible attitude
>of men toward women here, there's only one thing to say: Grow up! Why is
>it that some people pass through puberty and still never realize the
>difference between consensual actions and non-consensual ones? If one
>has a problem with the style of social interactions in the US for
>whatever reason, he has every right to avoid that style himself.
>However, such an objection does not bestow the right to make assinine
>comparisons.
>
This is something that I feel will always be an issue with Indians.
That's because Indians are somehow "morally superior" in that they don't
engage in these activities before marriage!  Yeah, right!  It is a fact
that a number of Indian men have "fun" here with an American woman but
when it comes to marriage, they want a virgin from India!!!  The
ultimate hypocrisy.

>
>I hope that those who would be apologists for the Indian male's
>attitudes toward women as expressed every day on the buses of Delhi and
>elsewhere would do some thinking about their own attitudes and try to
>get to know some women as individuals. Maybe then they'll realize that
>although all is not well in this society, women get a far better deal in
>everyday life here than they do in India today. 
>
I agree with you.  Though things are not perfect here, it is MUCH better
for women than India.

-Aruna