HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: avjohn@iiasa.ac.at (Aviott  JOHN)
Subject: sacher cake in vienna
Organization: IIASA, Laxenburg, Austria
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 07:20:25 GMT


SACHER CAKE IN VIENNA

by
Aviott John
avjohn@iiasa.ac.at

comments and criticism welcomed

Untasted I always equated Sacher Torte
With chocolate surfeit and Nirvanesque
Whipped cream topping coffee of heaven
Strong and water glass brimful cold
Served by patient unattached waiters in
Parody of paradise lost they also serve.
And wait.


To the attic of memory banished old
Desires faded till we nuzzled kakao
The frictional delights of our skins
Burnt to mocca rapture the smoky taste
Mocking really of any other torte but
After the meal I wake to your loss.
And wait.


Meanwhile the angry traffic snarls
The streets outside and pays homage
Base to that celestial hole ozonic
(heavenliest orifice known to man
except in the stratosphere of my dreams)
Fuming for the change of lights.
And wait.


This then is my ode of joy to life
The myriad facets of it all revealed
In encounters with the wondrous minds
And spinning bodies in a path ordained
Ignoring what popular censure shuns
There is but one choice we have to make.
And wait.
Xref: sparky alt.prose:1666 alt.recovery:3722
From: bu979@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Chris C. Raber)
Newsgroups: alt.prose,alt.recovery
Subject: Re: To Drink, Or Not To Drink...
Date: 18 Dec 1992 19:33:39 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


Sounds like great rationalization to me.


Chris
Xref: sparky alt.prose:1661 alt.recovery:3711
From: jjas@acs.nntp-read.bu.edu (Jason Stephenson)
Newsgroups: alt.prose,alt.recovery
Subject: Re: To Drink, Or Not To Drink...
Date: 17 Dec 92 00:10:15 GMT
Followup-To: alt.prose
Organization: Boston University Information Technology Boston, MA USA
In-reply-to: mwk20@ccc.amdahl.com's message of 8 Dec 92 17:42:12 GMT

I can remember a time, in the ancient days of Egypt, when a meal was
not complete without a beer to wash down the fresh baked bread (which
still contains about as much alcohol as half a beer though still more
than a glass of fresh orange juice or any piece of fresh fruit).  In
fact, alcohol is present in so many foods that I challenge you to go a
day without it in any quantity.--You will find that task to be
impossible.
	Now, I challenge you to go a day without any quantity of any
kind of drug at all.  You will find yourself drinking nothing but pure
water which is impossible to find anyway.
	--Just my 1/50th of a dollar.
Newsgroups: alt.prose
From: ses52823@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Marius)
Subject: Magyar's Tale -- Foreword
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 05:21:26 GMT

The following is a background story concerning a vampire,
Stefan Magyar, whom I presently use in a Vampire: The Masquerade
Play-By-EMail Role Playing Game.  The story is still writing
itself;  this is just the first page -- the man behind the numbers.

Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * *

Marius
ses52823@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu

* * * * * * * * * *

PS.  Mithrandir (tkelly@unix2.tcd.ie) is the game master of this
     campaign;  you could write him regarding the game if you are
     so inclined although I think it's full (he might take an
     observer or two however).

* * * * * * * * * *


Newsgroups: alt.prose
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Re: Three Word Story Game (12/4/92)
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 11:38:04 GMT

> looker, latch, inkwell.

Story 2.

Michael stepped into the room, closing the latch behind him. Jason was
sitting at his desk. He didn't look up from his careful calligraphy.

Michael sighed. "I need a hobby like that."

Jason dipped his pen in the inkwell. "Who is she this time?"

"What makes you think it's a she?"

"You always make comments like that when some female gets to you."

"She did not 'get to me'."

"So, who is it?"

"Jenny Robinson."

Jason lifted his pen and looked at his room-mate with a raised eyebrow.
"She's a pretty good looker." There was a faint tinge of sympathy in his
voice. "What happened?"

Michael slumped into a chair. "She said..." he looked up at Jason and
broke into a huge grin, "...yes! We're going out together. We're going
to have dinner tonight at Alfredo's. Uh, would you like to come along?
I'm sure Jen wouldn't mind."

Jason smiled. "No, that's okay. But that's good news! You can say hi to
her for me."

"Sure thing," Michael rose and crossed to the bathroom. "I'll just have
a shower and then get outta here."

Jason turned back to his parchment as the door clicked shut. He read
the poem again.

He inked his pen. Underneath the words "To Jenny" he inscribed "love,
Michael". He picked up the sheet, walked across the room, and laid it
on Michael's desk.

He left the room.


David Mar.                                      mar@physics.su.OZ.AU
Astrophysics Department, University of Sydney  NSW  2006, Australia.
Newsgroups: alt.prose
From: tjones@orville.psu.edu (Brain Drain)
Subject: the envelope
Organization: The Leaking Spinal Fluid Co.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 06:39:42 GMT

	The Envelope

A yellowed envelope,
Tucked sloppily in a corner.
How old; where from; what of?

From a long ago friend.
Once, nearly inseparable,
Now strangers but for the past.

A reminder of a loss;
A passing of importance.
Im triggered to think.

Who were we then?
Why arent "we" now?
Sad, I hadnt noticed.

Someone once so known,
Is now among the lost.
Passed, without warning.

Slipped away to nothing,
With the passage of time.
No warning, just a whimper.

Why does it happen?
Why dont we notice?
Realization:  too late.
-- 
Thomas H Jones II                             "Hmm... that wasn't at all what I
      aka.	                                            expected." --me
	thj@csn.org or  tjones@orville.psu.edu or tjones@vivaldi.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.prose
From: ses52823@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Marius)
Subject: Re: Three Word Story Game (12/4/92)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 01:28:25 GMT

Awesome story.

Should have killed the other two and worked more on this one...

Good anyway though;  a definite O.Henry twist (tm) at the end.

Keep up the good work.

* * * * * * * * * *

Marius
ses52823@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu

* * * * * * * * * *

Xref: sparky alt.prose:1652 rec.arts.animation:6786
From: Andrew McCallum <andrewm@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: BLOOD in Macbeth
X-To: ALL
Organization: The Zoo of Ids
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 13:33:00 GMT

    (I'm sorry if this is really not the best place, but I did my best
trying to find a suitable newsgroup on my site and there was none.)


    I'm looking for any sort of material that talks about the useage of
blood in Shakespear's _Macbeth_.  If anyone has anything that may be of
interest, PLEASE get in touch with me.  Thanks!

---
    .sig's are neat,                   | Andrew McCallum
    .sig's are fun,                     \ andrewm@zooid.guild.org
    .sig's tell where to flame someone.  |andrewm@terranet.cts.com

Newsgroups: alt.prose.d
From: Andrew McCallum <andrewm@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Oops.
X-To: ALL
Organization: The Zoo of Ids
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 00:08:00 GMT

    I have to apoligize for the double post that just happened with my
previous message.  I have no idea how it happened, but I just thought I
should excuse myself. <hic>

---
    .sig's are neat,                   | Andrew McCallum
    .sig's are fun,                     \ andrewm@zooid.guild.org
    .sig's tell where to flame someone.  |andrewm@terranet.cts.com

Newsgroups: alt.prose.d
From: Andrew McCallum <andrewm@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: BLOOD in Macbeth
X-To: ALL
Organization: The Zoo of Ids
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 13:33:00 GMT

    (I'm sorry if this is really not the best place, but I did my best
trying to find a suitable newsgroup on my site and there was none.)


    I'm looking for any sort of material that talks about the useage of
blood in Shakespear's _Macbeth_.  If anyone has anything that may be of
interest, PLEASE get in touch with me.  Thanks!

---
    .sig's are neat,                   | Andrew McCallum
    .sig's are fun,                     \ andrewm@zooid.guild.org
    .sig's tell where to flame someone.  |andrewm@terranet.cts.com

Newsgroups: alt.prose
From: charles@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Charles Jacob Cohen)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 21:32:51 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.150641.13046@bsu-ucs> 00rrchorzemp@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu writes:
>(A lot of "in Article"s deleted)
>>>>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
>>>>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>>>>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>>>>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>>>>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>>>>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>>>>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>>>>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
>>>>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
>>>>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
>>>>Back in the first season?"
>>>Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
>>>alone beat up Wesley....
>> O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
>> Captain Miles..."
>Vroooop!  Vrooop!
>Hello.  I'm the Doctor.  Jellybaby anyone??
Troi:  I sense lousy special effects.


-- 
"I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense,
reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." - Galileo
"I'm an engineer, not a dictionary!" - Me
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: mlandaue@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael C Landauer)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 07:21:49 GMT


>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>>>>>>>>>> >>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
>>>>>>>>>> >>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
>>>>>>>>>> >>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
>>>>>>>>>> >>Back in the first season?"
>>>>>>>>>> >Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
>>>>>>>>>> >alone beat up Wesley....
>>>>>>>>>> O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
>>>>>>>>>> Captain Miles..."
>>>>>>>>>Geordie:  Enough!  I'm transferring all Warp, Impulse, APR,
>>>>>>>>>and life support power into the holodeck for my new
>>>>>>>>>"Wild Wanda and her Wanton Whips" program.  The rest of
>>>>>>>>>you can suck cold vacuum.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Barkley: "Hey I helped program that, can I come in too????"
>>>>>>>Wesley:  Hey! I programmed Wanda's Whips---you know, just the way you like it?
>>>>>> Troi:  Geordie, your Star Fleet Battles training is showing.   I also sense
>>>>>> great perversions....
>>>>>	"Oh, boy..."
>>>>Troi:  I sense a great mind.  A mind from the past.  Someone who as lived
>>>>many lives, leaping from one to another....I also sense cigar smoke...
>>>>
>>>"I sense a small explosive that is tuned to detonate the next time Troi says '
>>>I sense...'"  (Cheers are heard from the audience)
>>Troi:  I sense great stupidity.   
>P> [We hear squealing sounds of a dying bomb---the bad joke killed it]
Piccard: Computer start self-destruct sequence.  This has gone too far!

-- 
Mike Landauer
signature file

Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: charles@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Charles Jacob Cohen)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 14:21:02 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.121558.37102@watson.ibm.com> kehleyr@vnet.ibm.com writes:
>In article <1gjeo8INNr34@bigboote.WPI.EDU>, bdsm@fermat.WPI.EDU (Billy Don McConnell) writes:
>|> 
>|> In article <latarra.724383967@camelot>, latarra@camelot.bradley.edu 
>|> (Lisa Ehren) writes:
>|> |> Charles Jacob Cohen writes:
>|> |> >(Murray S. Kucherawy [MFCF]) writes:
>|> |> >>mlandaue@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael C Landauer) writes:
>|> |> >>>osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
>|> |> >>>>Jeff Brackin <jefb@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> writes:
>|> 
>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
>|> 
>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>|> 
>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>|> 
>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>|> 
>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>|>  
>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
>Back in the first season?"
Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
alone beat up Wesley....


-- 
"I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense,
reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." - Galileo
"I'm an engineer, not a dictionary!" - Me
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: ses52823@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Marius)
Subject: World of Two Moons (Parts I, II, III) repost notes
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 08:31:41 GMT
Keywords: Version 1.1

Immediately following this post is a repost of Matthew Melmon's "World of
Two Moons" STTNG/ElfQuest story -- the material has been pasted together and
cleaned up a bit (typos, spellings, some paragraph breaks, etc) but is otherwiseidentical to the original.

Please note that I did not write this story, although I've become very fond of  it.  I just posted this modified format (World of Two Moons Version 1.1, if you
will) as a pacifying gesture to those without any or all of the three parts now
in existence, and as a sort of tribute to Matt for his great work.

Hopefully this will keep his ego going long enough for Parts IV and subsequent
continuations to emerge...

Keep up the good work Matt.

(muted applause... difficult to convey without CD ROM)
(heh)

* * * * * * * * * *

Marius
ses52823@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu

* * * * * * * * * *

Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative,alt.cascade,alt.fan.matt.welsh
From: ward@sun17.vlsi.uwaterloo.ca (Paul A.S. Ward)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 12:35:10 GMT

In article <OSA.92Dec14222309@wilbur.unh.edu> osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
>
>Lisa "Simpson" Ehren writes:
>> Charles Jacob Cohen writes:
>>>(Murray S. Kucherawy [MFCF]) writes:
>>>>mlandaue@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael C Landauer) writes:
>>>>>osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
>>>>>>Jeff Brackin <jefb@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> writes:
>>>>>>=> who are you?
>>>>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>>>>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>>>>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>>>>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>>>What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>>Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>A: I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, can't prove anything.
Captian, this is Guinan.  Is everything OK on the bridge?
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: plutnj@aix.rpi.edu (James Matthew Plutnicki)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 17:51:32 GMT

who are you?
I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, I
       get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember?  Back in the
       first season?"
Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
       alone beat up Wesley....
O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
          Captain Miles..."
Geordie:  Enough!  I'm transferring all Warp, Impulse, APR, and life support
          power into the holodeck for my new "Wild Wanda and her Wanton Whips"
          program.  The rest of you can suck cold vacuum.
Barkley: "Hey I helped program that, can I come in too????"
Wesley:  Hey! I programmed Wanda's Whips---you know, just the way you like it?
Troi:  Geordie, your Star Fleet Battles training is showing.   I also sense
       great perversions....
"Oh, boy..."
Troi:  I sense a great mind.  A mind from the past.  Someone who as lived many
       lives, leaping from one to another....I also sense cigar smoke...
"I sense a small explosive that is tuned to detonate the next time Troi says '
I sense...'"  (Cheers are heard from the audience)
Troi:  I sense great stupidity.   

   [We hear squealing sounds of a dying bomb---the bad joke killed it]

Piccard: Computer start self-destruct sequence.  This has gone too far!
Riker: NO the first officer does not concuur, I have taken orders from some
balding shakspearian throwback long enough, I'm taking over; worf set phasers
on kill and terminate the captain. 

"Admiral McCoy": Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a commedian!  I don't know
                 WHAT to say next..."

[The admiral bursts into flames due to Worf's horribly inaccurate shooting]
Worf: "Oops..."


-- 
 * James M. Plutnicki (plutnj@rpi.edu) * "There are no truths, only facts  *
 * Computer Systems Engineering Major  * blurred by opinion."   --Me       *
 * Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute    * "Confucius say,'Virginity like    * 
 * OS/2 advocate and user...:)         * balloon one prick all gone'."     *
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: plutnj@aix.rpi.edu (James Matthew Plutnicki)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 16:19:55 GMT

In article <13940006@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> erik@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Erik Lode) writes:
>	[ Attributions deleted to save space--you know you you are, anyway. ]
>
>> >>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
>> >>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>> >>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>> >>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>> >>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>> >>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>> >>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>> >>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
>> >>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
>> >>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
>> >>Back in the first season?"
>> >Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
>> >alone beat up Wesley....
>> O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
>> Captain Miles..."
>
>Geordie:  Enough!  I'm transferring all Warp, Impulse, APR,
>and life support power into the holodeck for my new
>"Wild Wanda and her Wanton Whips" program.  The rest of
>you can suck cold vacuum.
>
Barkley: "Hey I helped program that, can I come in too????"


-- 
 * James M. Plutnicki (plutnj@rpi.edu) * "There are no truths, only facts  *
 * Computer Systems Engineering Major  * blurred by opinion."   --Me       *
 * Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute    * "Confucius say,'Virginity like    * 
 * OS/2 advocate and user...:)         * balloon one prick all gone'."     *
From: erik@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Erik Lode)
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 19:10:19 GMT
Subject: Re: none
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative

	[ Attributions deleted to save space--you know you you are, anyway. ]

> >>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
> >>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
> >>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
> >>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
> >>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
> >>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
> >>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
> >>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
> >>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
> >>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
> >>Back in the first season?"
> >Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
> >alone beat up Wesley....
> O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
> Captain Miles..."

Geordie:  Enough!  I'm transferring all Warp, Impulse, APR,
and life support power into the holodeck for my new
"Wild Wanda and her Wanton Whips" program.  The rest of
you can suck cold vacuum.

Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
From: charles@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Charles Jacob Cohen)
Subject: Re: none
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 18:03:10 GMT

>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>=> who are you?
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>>I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>So I'm Captain Jean-Luc Piccard
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>>"Lt. Worf take this 'Bart Simpson' to the brig"
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >>OK, I'm Riker: "What the hell's going on over there?!"
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> >What the heck, I'm Troi:  "I sense great sarcasm..."
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> |> Q: "Hello, Jean-Luc, how'd you like my 'Bart Simpson'?"
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>|> Wesley: "Gee, Captain Picard, I just figured out a way to get rid of Q forever..."
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>Worf: "Growl! Captain, that is not honorable. If Wesley gets to get rid of Q, 
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>I get to get rid of Wesley!  I asked first - you remember? 
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>Back in the first season?"
>>>>>>>>>>>> >Troi:  Oh please, Worf.  You couldn't shoot the broad side of a Ferrengi, let
>>>>>>>>>>>> >alone beat up Wesley....
>>>>>>>>>>>> O'Brian: "That does it, I am beaming you all into space and appointing myself
>>>>>>>>>>>> Captain Miles..."
>>>>>>>>>>>Geordie:  Enough!  I'm transferring all Warp, Impulse, APR,
>>>>>>>>>>>and life support power into the holodeck for my new
>>>>>>>>>>>"Wild Wanda and her Wanton Whips" program.  The rest of
>>>>>>>>>>>you can suck cold vacuum.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Barkley: "Hey I helped program that, can I come in too????"
>>>>>>>>>Wesley:  Hey! I programmed Wanda's Whips---you know, just the way you like it?
>>>>>>>> Troi:  Geordie, your Star Fleet Battles training is showing.   I also sense
>>>>>>>> great perversions....
>>>>>>>	"Oh, boy..."
>>>>>>Troi:  I sense a great mind.  A mind from the past.  Someone who as lived
>>>>>>many lives, leaping from one to another....I also sense cigar smoke...
>>>>>>
>>>>>"I sense a small explosive that is tuned to detonate the next time Troi says '
>>>>>I sense...'"  (Cheers are heard from the audience)
>>>>Troi:  I sense great stupidity.   
>>>P> [We hear squealing sounds of a dying bomb---the bad joke killed it]
>>Piccard: Computer start self-destruct sequence.  This has gone too far!
>Riker: NO the first officer does not concuur, I have taken orders from some
>balding shakspearian throwback long enough, I'm taking over; worf set phasers
>on kill and terminate the captain. 
>[cheers are heard from the crew and audience as Picard dies in a show of 
>expensive special effects]
Troi:  I sense hostility, Will. Do you wish to talk about it? 

[gasp, even that one pained me :) ]



-- 
"I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense,
reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." - Galileo
"I'm an engineer, not a dictionary!" - Me