From: geotoole@inkstone.eng.sun.com (George O'Toole)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.poems
Subject: Celebrating my return to RAP
Date: 12 Sep 1992 01:32:46 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems
Distribution: world
Reply-To: simran@inkstone.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: inkstone

Well, now that I'm back (Thanks to Mr. A for noticing me 
a couple of weeks ago, I am encouraged, and do show up again),
I will celebrate my return by giving you a small set of 
postmodern faerie tales (or would they be nursery rhymes?).

ah, and if I had the guts (or would that be the time,
I'd do one of them as a villanelle).

Oh, and I do have to add that I still think Kathleene O'Toole (nee "Lux Donor")
has forgotten about her trailing "e" (Oh would that she remembered those
circumstances, it would ratify so many memories!).

  (Signed?) George O'Toole (maker of trouble)

ps: I did manage to resist "Nat King Cole \ boy he got soul!"
    I am hoping, however, to rouse our very own jazz poet Chito
    from his slumber to lay this one on us. I think he is the most
    qualified so far...

pps: now that I'm back, I guess I'll have to choose some unfortunate rapper's
     post and apply my neo-wloddian style of comments to it. 

..I do hope people are not too put off by these.
I guess the only consolation I could offer is a small
one-digit integer number of pomegranite seeds wrapped
in deconstruction paper...


	A small set of postmodern faerie tales and nursery rhymes
        (The first one is not original, but I can't remember who 
          to attribute it to :-( The rest are, with one noted 
            exception. --George)


	There was an old lady 
	who lived in a shoe
	She had so many children
	her uterus fell out.

	Little Jack Horner
	sat in the corner
	eating his curds and whey.
	He stuck in his thumb,
	pulled out a plumb,
	and sued the daylights out of the Alta-Dena dairy.


	Old Mother Hubbard
	remodeled her cupboards
	funded on a Fannie Mae loan
	she sold all her raiments,
	still couldn't make the payments,
	and first federal was forced to foreclose.


	Humpty Dumpty owned a posh mall
	Humpty Dumpty had a great Fall,
	but then the recession set in
	He posted Q4 losses,
	stock price plummeted, and
	Dumpty enterprises filed Chapter 11


	Old King Cole had a merry old Soul
	and his merry old Soul he certainly did like to talk about:
	he led a drum circle, 
	spent ten years in psychoanalysis,
	and attended Robert Bly seminars three.


	Jack sprat would eat no fat,
	his wife would eat no lean.
	Jack turned out to be anorexic,
	and his wife eventually required
	a triple bypass.

	Peter, peter, pumpkin eater,
	had a wife and never beat her.
	Put her in a pumpkin shell,
	and changed his name to J. Dahmer.
        (sorry --G.O'T.)

	Rock a bye baby
	in the tree top
	when the wind blows 
	the cradle will rock
	when the bough breaks 
	the cradle will fall
	and down will come baby
	cradle and all.

  (This one is also not original, (and it's a
   nursery rhyme rather than a faerie tale) but I believe the 
   interpretation that this little ditty is already
   postmodern is a bit of originality I would like to
   proffer to these venerable net.rappers --G.O'T.) 

	Rock a bye babe!
	In that tree top,
	she's so beautiful
	I could just hurl!
	"Go ahead. If you blow chunks
	and she comes back,
	she's yours, baby,
	cradle and all."
   (Thanks Garth)