HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: "There's one in EVERY car" (Was: Mechanics and their ilk)
Date: 19 Aug 92 15:47:54 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <ATAYLOR.92Aug18174801@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
><In article <1992Aug18.143528.25609@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:
><   In spite of all of this, I *refuse* to get one of those little plastic 
><   thingies with the cloyingly sweet smell of pine to hang in the car.  I'd
><   rather have the stench.
>
>	Wassamata, didn't you see "Repo Man"? 
>
>	Hmm. Or maybe you DID!

I have one of those. The instructions tell you to hang it somewhere other
than your car for a while as the stench had to dissapate. Duh. bandyabealsdre
and I did not read those instructions and would gag during carpool time.
The odor dissapated, thank God. I still have the thing, 4 years later.
I got some clove oil and drop a few drops on the toy tree every few
weeks. The car smells like a Christmas ham inside, but I like being
reminded of the holidays.

ER

--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
From: scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: gnrgghhhrarrh
Date: 13 Aug 92 14:12:12 GMT

egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
>Babs ... turns on the machine. A jet of water+slurry ... plastering
>me ... with a thick layer of light brown goo.

Cwoooaaahhhrr! Come on Babs! don't keep us in suspense. When are
you going to post the GIF?

S
From: scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Please Ignore mikey at Dalhousie
Date: 13 Aug 92 14:20:47 GMT

sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu writes:
>What say we all ignore mikey from dalhousie university until he
>goes away. If you feed the pidgeons you only encourage them to stay!

Nahh... let's feed the pidgeons. Anyone got any Alka-Seltzer?

S
From: dac@prolix.pub.uu.oz.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: A Postcard from The Outside World
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 92 23:01:37 GMT
Reply-To: munnari!labtam!eyrie!prolix!dac
FollowUp-To: alt.peeves
Keywords: 
Organization: More like Dis~, really.

In article <15420012@otter.hpl.hp.com>, Simon Crouch writes:

> 
> Hm......The ObTerrorist has never been quite the same since
> he went to that seminar "Increasing personal synergy through
> leverage of your paradigm" a few weeks ago. Maybe the Peevetown
> doctor should be called.....

Or the peevetown knackery ... [Rick, that's your cue!]

Dac
--
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers From Hell
Date: 21 Aug 92 16:25:23 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <mhart.714358284@blackjack> mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil 
(Michael Hart) writes:

>CloselyRelatedPeeve:  referencing days of the week.  Today is Thursday.
>If I say last Tuesday, is it really so unclear as to whether I mean 
>the Tuesday earlier this week ("last Tuesday"), or the one nine days
>ago ("Tuesday before last", or "a week ago, this past Tuesday")?


SomewhatAnalogousPeeve:  People who are unclear on directions.  Every
so often, someone who's talking to me will mention going to a certain
place, but will point the wrong way.  That happened a couple of days ago, 
in fact.  Somebody mentioned going over and taking a look at the third 
building on our site, which was just finished this week.  But the guy 
pointed 180 degrees away from where the building actually was (and probably
still is, although I admittedly can't see it from here)  I said, "Uh, 
excuse me, but there's no building over there.  That's a parking lot."
(I'm *such* a dick sometimes!)

Similarly peevesome are those who say they'll be going "up to" or 
"down to" someplace, but use the wrong expression, as in, "I'll be going 
down to Point Barrow this weekend.  Need any seal blubber?"  For this 
reason, the expression "down east" has always irritated me.  East is not 
"down"; it's "over." *South* is "down."


BonusPeeve:  My officemate has returned from a two-week vacation.  In
the five minutes that I've been in the office this morning, she's 
made six telephone calls and received three.  One of these days I'm
going to superglue the handset of her telephone to the base.  It's
annoying as hell to try to think, much less write, against a nonstop
background of chatter.  Whenever I think she's finally finished and
I'll have a few minutes of peace and quiet, I hear the tap-tap-tap-tap-tap
of yet another number being dialed.  Arrrgh!

Peeve the third:  Sleeping late on Friday morning has its down side, which
is that people start bugging the shit out of me as soon as I arrive at
work, plus my officemate is hot and heavy on the telephone by then.  Also,
there's this guy in the other building who often calls me about current
issues first thing in the morning, and if I hit the "send calls" button 
when the phone rings, which boots him over to voicemail, he ends up 
walking over and talking to me in person.

The extra sleep is valuable, but it's an either/or type of thing;
if I sleep late, I screw myself out of the quiet time I get by arriving
at work by seven or so.  All I want is to be able to have a quiet cup of
coffee (I can't stand those loud blends) and read the Net while I wake 
up.  Is that too much to ask?


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Bill Goes to Peevetown
Date: 19 Aug 92 17:14:27 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <9208171954.AA15622@tesla.eedsp.gatech.edu.gatech.edu>
eedsp!bill@gatech.UUCP writes:
>The Bill Trip(tm) is almost ready to commence.  On my trip west from
>Atlanta, I will hit (in order) Monroe, La., Dallas and El Paso, Tx.,
>Albuquerque and/or Santa Fe, NM, Flagstaff, Az., Los Angeles, Lost Vegas,
>The Bay Area (San Jose and Santa Rosa, mostly), then back to Georgia
>via I-80, then I-24 (i think?) and Southeast back home.
>
>I look forward to meeting the Bay Aryans and others as I travel and as
>I have responded to by mail thus far.
>
>Rather ironic that I should meet the western peevers before I meet
>homeboy and fairly-nearby peever, Dave "A. Jing" Cochran.

Heh, that what HE thinks!

I don't know about the rest of the Bay Aryan peevers but if Bill tries
to call me while he's here, he'll get either 1) the San Jose branch of
Clinton for President or Earth First!...

   don
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: RADIO SHACK FASCISM
Date: 16 Aug 92 20:44:36 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <1992Aug16.174738.5465@yenta.alb.nm.us> dt@yenta.alb.nm.us (David B. Thomas) writes:
>ObPeeve: Bosses who do fun, exciting things with lawyers all day, leaving us
>plebes to do more mundane things like read the net.

<CRACK!> <CRACK!> <CRACK!> <CRACK!>

Any more of that shit and you'll be stuck with not only the MS-DOS
work but also the VMS...

-- Russ "The Whippings Will Continue Until Morale Improves" Kepler
-- 
.signature: not found.  Create?
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: microwaving a grape..it DOES spark!
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 92 15:07:01 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <1992Aug20.203825.15037@igor.tamri.com>, donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:
|> In article <adwright.714321019@vincent1.iastate.edu> adwright@iastate.edu ()
|> writes:
|>>Another somewhat unrelated but fun trick is to take a fly and drown it in 
|>>water for a couple of hours. The fly can be blotted dry and covered with 
|>>salt and intime will be "brought back to life" although he loses his 
|>>ability to fly. It
|>>works most of the time.
|> 
|> Hmm, I wonder if this works for cats also...

What difference does it make who drowns the fly?  I doubt very seriously that
a cat could accomplish this, though, what with that opposable thumb thing
and all.  I've also never known a cat who knew how to operate a microwave.
(I wasn't really clear on this.... are you supposed to microwave the salt-
covered fly?  On what setting and for how long?) I'm told by people who should 
know that cats only have a brain the size of a matchbox.

Peeve: There are some people on this planet that lead such a dull existence
that it occurred to them to drown a fly for a couple of hours, pat it dry,
and cover it in salt. Get a life. Or were you trying to come up with a new
between-meal snack?

Let's see, if I feed a wombat a microdot, wrap him up in Saran Wrap, wait
20 minutes and then run at him going "BOOGABOOGABOOGA", I wonder what he'd
do?

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard    |
|enough.                                           |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: dmarcher@acsu.buffalo.edu (Dave Archer)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Political Peeves
Date: 19 Aug 92 23:08:22 GMT
Organization: UB

Peeve:  Republicans.  

I was going to say something about Buchanan being a Nazi, but I understand 
there's some law against the 'N' word in PeeveTown, so I won't.  I'd punch 
him in the nose if it wasn't for those pesky SS goons guarding him.  
Somebody needs to tell him that if you go too far to the right, you'll fall 
off the edge of the world.

I won't say anything bad about Reagan, after all, he's old enough to be my 
grandfather's grandfather.  It's a bit spooky to see those Reagan '96 and 
Buchanan/Reagan '96 signs.  I like to believe those people are joking, but 
I know some of them are serious.  

I'd also bitch some about those Young Republican types that get everything 
handed to them by their parents and have never worked an honest days work, 
but I won't.  It's not my place to say anything nasty about these children 
that haven't lived in the Real World yet.  Many of them won't ever have to 
anyways.

However, I do agree with the Republicans on one point:  It is time for
change.  It is time to Clean House.  The only problem is that THEY are 
pointing to the wrong end of Pennsylvania Avenue.

Clean House - the White House.  Vote Clinton '92!

This has been a paid political announcement that has cost the net hundreds, 
if not thousands of dollars.

(To our non-US readers:  I may be joining you if Bush gets reelected.  Hey, 
you never know.  Shit Happens.)

---
 Note: I do not represent my employer or school, & sometimes not even myself.

  Dave Archer  |  Internet: dmarcher@acsu.buffalo.edu
               |    Bitnet: V116KZND@UBVMS
               |     GEnie: D.ARCHER
               |   Prodigy: Surely you jest!
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin@highlite.uucp (Curtis Yarvin)
Subject: Re: Firewall time again (was Re: Random Peeve)
Organization: Gotham Communications Research
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 17:51:40 GMT

In article <41174@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg) writes:
>In article <1992Aug10.184828.6901@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>
>Apparently Curtis' description omitted one important feature. Perhaps
>most people wouldn't need to be informed of it, having read the title
>of this newsgroup. This is that the primary function of alt.peeves is
>to discuss that which annoys you.

Roight.  I took this for granted, because - of course - the sole
function of conversation is to discuss that which annoys you.
Otherwise it's either boring, banal, or fulsome; either can
be useful for upsetting the digestion of unwanted guests,
but none is worth flaunting in public.

c
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Why can't I work in Europe?
Date: 14 Aug 92 13:09:57 GMT
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1992Aug12.022653.19444@news.iastate.edu>, z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
> In article <1992Aug11.174450.6919@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
> 
> 	I suggest you seek a different line of work.  Court Jester, Royal
> Food Taster, and Speed Bump are all jobs you appear to be well qualified
> for.  The real reason you are not getting hired is because Yurrip is the
> land of fast drivers, where "get the fuck outta the way" is embossed on
> the headlight shell of even the family sedan.  You would obviously not
> fit in.  In addition, Yurrip probably wants to keep the gene pool fairly
> clean, and behavior such as yours just might be genetic.  The German
> phrase, translated, is "better safe than slow."  You get the idea.

Hmm? Ha? What? How did my driving skills get involved in this? I haven't 
mentioned *anything* about my driving preferences. Maybe you have me confused
with someone else... 

> 	You have bragged that you have a body even men would get wet over.

Ah...so you *do remember me.

> Perhaps the monastary would be a better place?  Even nuns have their 
standards.

I thought those were "habits."

>>I think this is somehow unfair.
> 
> 	Translation: "Whahhh!"  Live with it.
> 

Dude, it isn't exactly causing me to pine away with grief. I thought this
was alt.peeves, BTW. You know, where people go to kvetch about their life and 
the problems therein.
> 
> 	If you look closely you'll see 600dpi printing on those signatures.
> No self-respecting president or veep wastes his time writing rejection
> letters -- that's what the computer and form letter software is for.
> 
> 
I have the letter right here. It's ball point. No question about it.
Mike
From: artn@bert.eecs.uic.edu (Ellyn Sandor)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: PRO-smoker's peeves
Keywords: Tobacco Nicotine
Date: 18 Aug 92 18:47:00 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago

baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:

>In article <1992Aug12.181901.13621@bert.eecs.uic.edu> artn@bert.eecs.uic.edu (Stephan Meyers) writes:
>>Peeve:	Car ashtrays you can't reach while you're driving.  I prefer a
>>	window, anyway, but having the option would be nice, without
>>	having to take my eyes off the road.
>	
>Peeve: People who flick their ashes out of the window when there is someone,
>namely me, sitting in the back seat. Flicking ashes out of the window, in itself
>doesn't bother me as most of the ashes seem to end up in the car anyway, which
>is why flicking them when I am in the back does peeve me. 

ObRelatedPeeve:  when the damn thing flies back in the car and burns your carpet
	(OK, serves me right for littering, but blame the designers of the
	1988 Pontiac Grand Am, who put the ashtray in that godawful spot.
ObRelatedPeeve#2:  Backseat passengers who can't seem to aim for the ashtray
	properly and burn the carpet even worse.

	Stephan
-- 
--
Stephan Meyers | artn@uicbert.eecs.uic.edu
(Art)^n Laboratories, inventors of the Stealth Negative PHSCologram
(312) 567-3762
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Packaging and stuff
Date: 18 Aug 92 21:44:28 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <g!0m05=@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
>In article <17456@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
[My cat made a mess]
>Peeve: People who have the cat('s)(s') litter pan next to the toilet.

Where do you prefer it? On the stovetop? In the kitchen sink?

>First of all, there's the smell. Sure, there's a huge difference between a  
>regularly-emptied pan and one that's so full that the cat refuses to
>use it, but it's always a bit disorientating to be competing for smells
>in the bathroom.

Well, I clean my cats' box daily. (Yech) It still smells some. However,
I may as well have it in the same room that humans make foul odors (No,
I am not *that* lousy a cook, I can order pizza from Blondie's just like
any other civilized Berkeleyite.).

>Puss decides *that* place isn't good enough, and decides to do more
>lanscaping in the Zen Garden o' Poop. 


This wins a Peevetown Award of some sort.

We now have another building in Peevetown (good thing, also, given
that all we have are an auto garage, two pubs and a bus stop). The
Zen Garden O' Poop Landscaping and Pet Store.


etc.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: subject
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 92 00:00:07 GMT

In article <1992Aug14.081709.18847@nuscc.nus.sg> eng20015@nusunix2.nus.sg (GOH KING SHY) writes:
>
>	What is the topic of discussion for this newsgroup?

I'm not quite sure, my little friend.

How about this:  post a description of the most embarassing moment
in your life here, in the most pathetic terms available, being very
sure to elaborate reasons why you felt you were unfailrly treated
and silly mistakes that you made.

I'm sure someone will have a comment or two to add, some sage advice
to offer...

   don
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Even though what you do may be completely insignificant, it is very
important that you do it".
	- Gandhi
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Krazy Sailors ( was: ]<razy ]<atz (was: Packaging and Stuff)
Date: 18 Aug 92 22:01:07 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <l92522INNsi@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>Peeve:  Cats that are unclear on the concept.
>
>When I was in junior high school, I had a cat that would dutifully 
>report to the litter box upon hearing the call of nature.  So far,
>so good.
>
>Then she'd promptly turn and hang her ass out over the gunwale and
>let loose.


Isn't that the "poop deck"?


Peeve: Nautical terminology. I go sailing with one fellow and he is
very fussy. Its "looward", "starboard", "port", "reefing", "Jib" (but
not "jib sheet", and so on. I sit there and say, "Can you say that in
English please?" as the boat heels so far over I am kissing Bay water.

!Peeve: I don't have to own a boat to go sailing. People are *always*
looking for some poor landlubber to pull on ropes and get soaked while
cranking the jib line. That way, they can sit and hold the tiller and
feel like Captain Kirk. One guy had me steer and went belowdecks for
a sandwich. 

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
From: harris@ironic.nlm.nih.gov (Nomi Harris)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Great for microwave ovens!
Summary: Try this at home
Date: 17 Aug 92 18:10:37 GMT
Reply-To: nomi@cgl.ucsf.edu
Organization: University of California, San Francisco

The box of plastic wrap said "Great for microwave ovens!" so I
microwaved a piece of lasagna wrapped in some of the plastic wrap.
The plastic wrap melted into an unpleasant soft wad.  In what sense
was this supposed to be "great" for the microwave oven?  Do the
vaporized plastic molecules adhere to and strengthen the walls of
the oven, analagous to the purported rebuilding of hair by protein-
enriched shampoos?

Microwave Anti-Peeve: I was recently introduced to a really cool
phenomenon involving microwave ovens and ordinary table grapes.
Cut a grape in half, but leave the halves connected by a bit of
skin, and lay them out on a plate.  (Gratuitous grammar peeve:
people who announce they're going to "lay" out in the sun.)
Anyway, turn on the microwave and watch as the grape emits huge
sparks!!  You'll hardly believe your eyes!  Any explanations for
this effect?

The person who told us about the sparking grape has tried other
fruits, but didn't find any others that worked.  Clearly further
experimentation is in order:  we should try various kinds of grapes
(with and without seeds), raisins, cherries, etc.  I'm working on
the grant application.  :-)

	Nomi (She blinded me with science!)

P.S. I categorically deny any allegations involving me and any other
ba.peevesters.
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 12 Aug 92 18:22:04 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

Somebody or other wrote:

>>
>>Yes, but in most other countries it is standard to be rude and
>>obnoxious behind the wheel at all times. What does this prove?
>>

and it reminded me of an article in yesterday's comic (Times).
Apparently the government here are looking at changing the driving test.
Now currently (from what I remember) the driving test involves around 40
minutes of driving in which you demostrate the ability to do the
following:

*  Keep a lookout for the antics of other car drivers, pedestrians, and
cyclists. This should involve using mirrors.

* Drive without undue hesitation but within the appropriate speed
limits.

* Demonstrate the ability to reverse a car round a corner without
straying too far from the kerb.

* Complete a "surprise" emergency stop without skidding the vehicle.
(this is the famous "I am going to bang my hand on the dashboard. When I
do so I want you to bring the vehicle to an emergency halt as if a child
had just run out in front of the car...")

* Identify a few road signs and their meanings.

* Identify certain road situations as outlined in the Highway Code. E.G.
name three times when you should not overtake. 

(I can hear some Peevsters thinking: "There are times when it's not ok to
overtake???" :-)

* demonstrate an understanding of the use of gears and some clutch
control ability.


Now none of this is exactly hard and it's basically hoped that folks
will learn to drive in the years after they pass their test.

However, it's come to someone's attention that there are DBI's on the
road who generally drive like maniacs, tailgate folks, drive too fast
and generally screw up on the roads. 

The solution? They're going to include a psychometric test in the
Driving Exam. This will enable them to weed out "aggressive types' who
are unfit to be awarded a licence. It's a good idea, though I find it
hard to imagine that these psychometric tests can't be fooled by the
simple expediency of giving the expected answers.

There are also plans for a written section in the test. This is good
news since a substantial part of the population are illiterate. We'll be
able to get the ones that can't read "70" if not the ones that think
it's a minimum speed.

FoFP

In a survey on a british motorway, 90% of drivers figured their driving
ability was "above average". It sure must be bad somewhere else....