HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: deuelpm@craft.camp.clarkson.edu (Hobbit)
Subject: Misspelling
Organization: Clarkson University
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 14:53:11 GMT


		Misspelling  (there might even be a pun in there!)

Seen at a local bar, frequented by college students (not townies):

Ladie's night


Good Lord!  Not even Lady's night or (correct as intended, I think) Ladies'
night

but

Ladie's Night

Hi, my name's Ladie.  It's *my* night.  I drink free.

Now, I don't often bash spelling ('cause I can't do it either)
but come on...  Is this what US education has come to?

Pete

--
=====================================
deuelpm@craft.camp.clarkson.edu
=====================================
"*Regret* is a rough sheet to sleep on."  -Herman Brooks
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: fucking BDI motorcycle drivers
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 92 14:37:27 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <5831@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (All of our represanatives are still busy; please continue to hold) writes:
>Scene: moi, driving home in traffic on the Lawrence expressway.  BDI
>	motorcycle driver five feet off of my bumper, bright light
>	shining right in my rear-view mirror.
>I take my foot off of the petal and let the car slow from 40 to 25.

>I put my foot on the brake, lightly of course.
>
>Slow to 20.
>
>BDI motorcycle driver then finally decides to pass me, looking at me
>as if I'm crazy.

If it's any consolation, as a motorcyclist, I can assure you that
this behaviour will get him "selected" fairly soon.

Should have hit the brakes *hard*.

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night)
Date: 8 Nov 92 16:57:32 -0400
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <Bx9wJB.59@nic.umass.edu>, jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
> In article <Bx9Jto.7AC@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>>In article <Bx9AyG.9Cq@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>>
>>>  Are you honestly disappointed that your
>>>life has not been made complete by a kiss from Peevetown's own Frat Boy
>>>Extraordinaire?
>> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Hmm, I've never liked french women. I see this is no
>>exception 8). 
> 
> No, no, no, Stevie.  Mike is NOT a french woman.  He is a Canadian frat
> boy.  Most people are able to discern the differnce.
> 
> Here's some clues:
> 
> French Women				Frat boys
> 
> Low cut clingy blouses			T-shirts w/ stupid jokes
> Expensive hair cuts			Lack of shampoo
> Breath stinks of food with		Breath stinks of drinks with
>  names you cannot pronounce		 alcohol content you cannot fathom


I have to take exception here:

1) I hate T shirts
2) I LOVE shampoo (you know what I mean)

Well, Occasionally I go out and drink, so I guess I can't bitch at that last 
BUT (see below)

> 
> I hope this helps you.  Now I understand why you were upset about not
> getting a kiss from Mikey.  Clearly you'd heard about the wonders of
> French women and their strong, agile tongues.  Having mistaken Mikey
> for one of these women, you longed for a kiss.  I guess its understandable,
> considering your geneology.

I challange you, Jenny, to a tie-a-knot-in-a-cherry-stem-with-my-tongue
contest next time we meet. Tell you what, let's raise the stakes. The winner 
sleeps with the loser.


Mike (and Sherilyn Fenn can be the judge)
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night)
Date: 8 Nov 92 17:07:22 -0400
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <lfl4ngINNg8j@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>, banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
> In article <Bx9Jto.7AC@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>>We don't want more. We just want _good_ ones. "Quality not quantity" dear...
> 
> Exactly *who* is "we," buttnugget?  Who could you possibly be speaking
> for?
> 
> Are you and Mikey doing tag-team now?  Some sort of new recreation
> when you two aren't locked in a 69?
> 

Euuuuchhhh.... And I thought Jenny's comment about Ted spreading
my posts all over the net like rosbuds of his love was nauseating.


Peeve: I get tied in with people (well, we'll use people for want of a better
definition) like these two. 


> Be careful, Stevey, or I'll use a plunger on your face until you burp
> shit.


To quote Mr Yarvin:

GIF GIF GIF GIF GIF! 

Mike
From: boneham@sunburn.ec.usf.edu. (Kevin Boneham (CH))
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: paradigm = death
Date: 8 Nov 92 03:21:03 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Univ. of South Florida, College of Engineering


if i see the word 'paradigm' once more, heads will roll.....

kevin
From: library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Driving with Parking Lights!
Date: 6 Nov 92 10:12:48 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK
Originator: library@merlin.comlab

In article <lfg7nhINNe71@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>
>
>We trust you lot with *Tridents?*  And I just heard a rumor that we
>might sell you Stealth fighters, too.  Well, we sold the Aussies
>F-111s, so I suppose it was all downhill from there.

>(I never heard of Dunnoon.  I know of two U.S. sub bases in Scotland, Holy
>Loch and another one that I can't remember because my officemate is banging
>things around.  It was mentioned in Red Storm Rising.  Faslane, that's it.
>As in, "life in the ~." )

Dunoon is the village nearest to the big ship (USS Holland?) which was 
positioned in the waters of the Holy Loch.

Faslane is actually a Royal Navy base. We keep our Polaris fleet there though it
is being replaced by those Tridents you sold us, just before "you won the Cold
War" (4 subs, 16 missiles each, 4? separately targetable warheads each: do we
have 256 enemies to blow up!). A James Bond movie (with Roger Moore saving the
free world from something or other) was filmed there.


Geoff:Our F-111s are already there.

Me:Yes man, but they keep falling out of the sky at inappropriate moments, 
Me:certainly the ones around here.

Geoff:Not unlike that Tornado you guys lost several weeks ago?  

I suppose in Northern Ireland this would be called something like a tit-for-tat
exchange.


Gordon
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night)
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 02:35:35 GMT

In article <Bx9Jto.7AC@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>In article <Bx9AyG.9Cq@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>
>>  Are you honestly disappointed that your
>>life has not been made complete by a kiss from Peevetown's own Frat Boy
>>Extraordinaire?
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Hmm, I've never liked french women. I see this is no
>exception 8). 

No, no, no, Stevie.  Mike is NOT a french woman.  He is a Canadian frat
boy.  Most people are able to discern the differnce.

Here's some clues:

French Women				Frat boys

Low cut clingy blouses			T-shirts w/ stupid jokes
Expensive hair cuts			Lack of shampoo
Breath stinks of food with		Breath stinks of drinks with
 names you cannot pronounce		 alcohol content you cannot fathom

I hope this helps you.  Now I understand why you were upset about not
getting a kiss from Mikey.  Clearly you'd heard about the wonders of
French women and their strong, agile tongues.  Having mistaken Mikey
for one of these women, you longed for a kiss.  I guess its understandable,
considering your geneology.

>
>Peeve1: being accused as a CLOSET-HOMOSEXUAL-Jesus-Freak when Steve is actually
>        SuperHeteroMan. 

Honey, I never accused you of being in the closet!!  As a matter of fact, I 
think it shows real strength of character to come out in as dangerous a 
forum as alt.peeves.

>Peeve2: Being accused as a CLOSET-HOMOSEXUAL-Jesus-Freak by someone who hasn't
>        even been kissed (not including relatives or canines of course)
>

OOOOOh!  Someone who doesn't know me has made an unfounded accusation about
my lack of sexual experience.  I'm reeling from the blow!!!!

>
>We don't want more. We just want _good_ ones. "Quality not quantity" dear...
>

Lose "dear".  I don't take to condescending endearments from anything more than
two steps down from me on the food chain.

-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
From: henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Two bacon
Date: 11 Nov 1992 06:12:05 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: tornado.berkeley.edu

New International (hah) House of Pancakes ad:  "Two eggs, two bacon, ..."

Two *bacon*??? 


Verblessly yours,

Matthew J. Henken
henken@ug.cs.dal.ca
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Courier eeeeeeediot Peeve
Date: 9 Nov 1992 00:36:11 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov8.174314.8707@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>
>At 4:30 pm, I decided they weren't going to show, and so I left to get some 
>work done. Apparently, they showed up at about 4:45, and found they could not
>get into my building. So they left.

Run this by me again?

You, being the worthless git you are, forgot to take your
jacket with you when you went away to school.

For the first two months of the year you failed to do anything
about the situation.

Then, when it got cold, you called up Daddy and begged him to
send you the jacket.

Daddy, since he doesn't want you freezing to death in some
faraway land (presumably he would rather beat you to death with
a shovel and bury you in the cellar, to make a clean end of
a misbegotten beginning), sends you the jacket, via some or
other ungodly-expensive Courier Service.  Nothing too good
for Mikey boy.

You waited patiently for an hour or two, but it didn't come,
so you threw a tantrum then went to the computer lab to have
a good cry and play xtrek.

While you were blubbering in the closet, the courier came.
Obviously, since you weren't home, he couldn't give you the
jacket.

The next day, you call up and harass him.  Being a person with
some sense of manner and proportion, he hangs up on you and
spits into a bucket, to clear the taste of stale beer and
unwashed fratboy out of his mouth.

He has a peeve - and a worthy one.  You, my son, do not.

c
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mikey's Jacket
Date: 9 Nov 92 13:25:36 -0400
Distribution: world
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1dkbrjINNkq4@agate.berkeley.edu>, curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:
>>"No, my mother picked it out for me, and her taste is superb. It is a
>>beautiful
>>deep wine red, with a little teal and some black. The colours are simply
>>splendid."
> 
> Yeah, the shit they are.  Look, Mikey, I realize you're a poor
> Canuck fratboy and cannot be expected to have a spot of public
> manner, let alone fashion sense, but if you're ever going to
> become a proper peever you're going to have to learn a thing
> or two about clothes.

*snot* the day I take clothing advice from you, Curtis, is the day that
the sky turns to phlegm.
 
> There are two types of upper-body garments suited for extremely
> cold weather:
> 
> (1) The "jacket."  This is made of garish nylon filled with
> polyester or duck feathers.  It is worn exclusively by
> two social classes: (a) children, and (b) snothead yuppies
> who take ski vacations at Vail.
> 
> (2) The overcoat.  This is made of wool.  It is worn by decent
> folk.
> 
> I trust I am making myself understood.


Into that nylon stuff are you, Curtis?
I assure you, wool is not a good idea in the winter in Canada if you only
have one jacket.

Mike
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Monty Bleedin' Python
Date: 9 Nov 92 19:58:05 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

In <92Nov09.145510.24408@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) 
writes:

[among other things]

>Newbie. [referring to Your Humble Narrator.]

OUCH.

Well, I think that I'll just sulk off and nurse my wounded ego--the Thing from
Calgary has tagged me but good.

"Newbie."  My "Bob"--what next, Charlie?  Cooties by e-mail?  You know, for a 
rough minute there, I was actually starting to feel BAD about recycling an old
MPFC sketch--oh, man.  If that was a flame, then a piss-soaked book of matches
is a firestorm.

Really, Chas, what would your mother say if she knew that you used such 
language?

Ever yours,

--

Tom Dennis                    |  I looked into the abyss,
dennis@alexia.uiuc.edu        |    and the abyss looked into me--
tadg0614@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu     |      and we both winked.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: Monty Bleedin' Python
Date: Mon, 09 Nov 92 14:55:10 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <Bx9yJy.Mx7@news.cso.uiuc.edu> dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis) writes:
>In <92Nov05.222649.11355@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) 
>writes:
>
>>Congratulations you pre-simian throwbacks.
>
>No, no... not redundant enough.  Why not add "atavistic" and "devolutionary" 
>while you're at it, Chuck?  A comma wouldn't hurt, either...

Jeepers, so far the best you can do is a *grammar* flame? And,
BTW, the comma I left out is optional. I will admit it would 
have improved the sentence, but still, optional.

>>You've managed to make even the most stupid and childish posting
>>by Denise Caire seem erudite, acerbic, and entertaining.
>
>Oh, the humanity!  Being compared to Denise Caire... will I ever live it down?
>My life is ruined... I'll never get another job... I will be mocked by total 
>strangers who will jeer at me, "You Cairesqe person, you!"  I'll become a 
>running joke on David Letterman--"Tom Dennis, this year's Denise Caire!"  Even
>Denise Caire herself--whoever the hell she is--will shun me...
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Newbie.

No, you are unlikely to live it down unless the quality of your
postings is drastically improved. In all fairness, Tom, you
aren't half as bad as Caire...but please don't take that as a
challenge.

>>Comedic one-upmanship is entertaining, if even the faintest
>>taint of creativity can be detected. Your dross, however is
>>pathetic.
>
>The ticket agent at the entrance will be glad to refund the full price of your
>admission.  Kindly allow Rocco and Spike, our patron assistance 
>representatives, to escort you from the premises...

Uhuh. Look, after you get Rocco and Spike back from the hospital,
don't forget to unty your limbs, okay? Your arms look sweet tied
in a bowline, but if you leave them that way the circulation will
almost certainly be impeded. If you lose your arms to gangrene,
those exciting fridays you spend with a copy of "Hot Teens
Show Panties" will come to and end.

>>Shut up.
>
>Let me guess... you're having one of those days when all the water-soluble 
>fiber in the world won't do the trick, eh, Chuckie?

No, it's one of those days when I look to Peeves as an oasis of
rational thought and mysanthropic humour. Not bloody fools
parroting second rate british comedy troupes. As you indirectly
pointed out, I pay no admission to come here...Yet it behooves
you, Thomas, to cease your prattle until you have something
vaguely interesting to say.

Go away, Spike and Rocco miss you.

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Peevetown General Hospital: Take 4
Date: 10 Nov 1992 22:48:50 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov10.215417.21045@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
>
>Imagine their horror to see that Denise Caire had returned,
>only that she is now posting under an assumed name from
>Dalhousie Univ.

Pwah.

Denise Caire, while she was a dimwit and a ditz, had
a personality.  A genuine personality.

Mary Jacobs, maybe?  Brian Redman?

c
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: thf2@quads.uchicago.edu (Seventh Circuit Bound)
Subject: Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night)
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 23:37:14 GMT

In article <1992Nov10.124120.8757@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>In article <BxGsBp.Ay9@nic.umass.edu>, jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>> In article <1992Nov9.131348.8735@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>>>In article <BxF58x.4FB@nic.umass.edu>, jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>>>> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
>>>
>>>Boy, I'm even better than I thought, driving Jenny into an orgasm like that
>>>with a mere post!
>> 
>> I think this explains the preponderance of date-rape in fraternities.
>> 
>*SIGH*. Another Ted Frank groupie.

As amusing as that characterization may be (and no doubt distasteful to
Ms. Gutbezahl), there are millions of women who are well aware of
the prevalence of rape in fraternities who have never read a word I've
written on the subject, and an even larger number who have come to that
conclusion without sleeping with me. 

It is, of course, typical of the fraternity psyche to assume that
a woman is incapable of critical thought and reaching her own conclusions,
and therefore any ideas she's had must have been dictated to her by Her Man.

I mean, it's not like I invented the concept that fraternities rape.
The frats have been doing just fine in creating that accurate perception.

Peeve: Spending $12 on a cab to take me to a job interview downtown so I
       don't have to wait for a bus, and then spending ten minutes on hold
       with the cab company waiting for being able to call a cab.

Peeve: Schlepping all the way downtown just to have a twenty-minute
       interview with Judge Easterbrook.

!Peeve: He gave me an offer.

Peeve: I have to sit through two more years of law school before I can
       start.

!Peeve: At least I'll be in Chicago, and won't have to move from my way-cool
        apartment.

Peeve: Moving.

!Peeve: I get a way cool office on the south side of the top floor of the
        Federal Building downtown.

Peeve: Having to ride the bus home.

!Peeve: Getting to buy my own jackets, without having my mommy and my daddy
        choosing one out and mailing me one.

Peeve: Irrelevant consecutive "peeves" and "!peeves" that are pointless
       and have nothing to do with the title of the thread.

Peeve: Self-referential meta-peeves like the last two in this post.

-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
also at quibeaux@uchicago.edu | standard disclaimers | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky)
Subject: Re: Mikey's Jacket
Organization: Technical University Vienna, Dept. for Realtime Systems, AUSTRIA
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 09:54:26 GMT

curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

>You haven't seen my Finnish Army overcoat.
>
>Do the words "inch-thick felt" ring any bells?


ian curtis yarvin.

-lx

-- 
Alexander Vrchoticky             alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
TU Vienna, CS/Real-Time Systems  +43/1/58801-8168
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Gorey Peeves (was Election Economics)
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 92 23:12:44 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

masticol@cadenza.rutgers.edu (Steve Masticola) writes: 
| huston@access.digex.com (Herb Huston) writes:
| 
| :Not to worry.  While dumb Veep jokes will soon be out, stiff Veep jokes will
| :soon be in.  (I heard it on _The CBS Evening News_.)
| 
| Peeve:	Tipper Gore. 

Yes, I *do* look at rec<dot>humor<dot>funny.  It's low traffic, and there is 
the occasional gem.  For those of you that don't read it, here's a good one:

Q: What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had?

A: A dead girlfriend.

I told this to a colleague here at the office who, it turns out, had
never heard of Jennifer Flowers.

Peeve: People that live in igloos most of their lives when they don't
have to.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|I daydreamed that I was falling and just before I |
|hit the ground, I fell asleep.                    |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING (was Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night))
Date: 12 Nov 92 18:25:19 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1992Nov11.045852.10816@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
>
>And don't get jealous, Elaine.  Get a dick!
>--


Peeve: Freud perpetuated the myth of penis envy. Its silly. Its something
very tender that belongs in a body and is not. Dogs have the good sense
to keep theirs tucked in so they don't hurt them. Humans are just asking
for trouble. Also, if I got one of those, my lifespan would be shortened
by 8 years. No way, Jose!

--
.. Clinton seems to be capable of staying awake for Cabinet
meetings, and his offspring squeezes pimples instead of little old
ladies' savings accounts... - Carol Osterbrook
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Economics and ape hunts... (Was: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING (was Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night)))
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<BxH852.9DG@cs.dal.ca> <1dna6mINNd32@agate.berkeley.edu>
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 15:54:11 GMT

In article <1dna6mINNd32@agate.berkeley.edu> curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

<However, my thoughts were more along the line of
<getting some of Don's pals from rec.guns together one weekend,
<for an ape hunt.

	Consider including some of the alt.tasteless crowd;
	some of them may have a taste for "long pig", y'know.

<Or would they do it for free?  

	Even reloaded ammunition costs something, c,
	and beer is hardly free.

ObPeeve: the preceding sentence as a reflection of reality.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves