From: rjc@onion.princeton.edu (Raymond Chen)
Subject: [7F03] Bart Gets an F (capsule update)
Organization: Abject Admirers of That Voice
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 16:08:56 GMT

FYI, the latest SI has a feature article on Yeardley Smith.
Apparently, the official designation is "That Voice", and not "The
Voice" as I had been using.  My apologies.

The capsule for THE RETURN OF SIDESHOW BOB will be late because I
won't watch the episode until this weekend.

*** 7f03.old	Thu Apr  9 11:59:46 1992
--- 7f03	Thu Apr  9 12:02:16 1992
***************
*** 3,4 ****
--- 3,26 ----
  ===============================================================================
+ [$Id: 7f03 1.4 92/04/09 08:39:29 raymond Exp Locker: raymond $]
+ ===============================================================================
+ > Title sequence
+ ===============================================================================
+ Blackboard :- `I will not encourage others to fly'.
+ 
+ Lisa's solo:- traditional
+ 
+ Couch:     :- The couch falls through the floor.
+ 
+ ===============================================================================
+ > Didja notice...
+ ===============================================================================
+ 
+     ... as Bart protested that they can't hold him back, Marge and Homer
+         were... holding him back?
+     ... the computerized desks in Bart's dream?
+     ... that all the mothers in Springfield wear strapless dresses?
+     ... Principal Skinner grabbing the still-cooly-dressed Martin
+         as Bart celebrates passing the test?
+ 
+ ===============================================================================
  > Movie References
***************
*** 5,9 ****
  ===============================================================================
-   + How The Grinch Stole Christmas
-         - everybody holding hands and singing
-     The Bishop's Wife {?}
    + Gone With the Wind
--- 27,28 ----
***************
*** 10,11 ****
--- 29,37 ----
         - `As God as my witness, I will pass fourth grade!' {hk}
+   + Samuel Johnson
+        - `Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.'
+          Lisa changes the first word to `prayer'. {abw}  (see below)
+     Hallelujah Chorus from Messiah, Georg Friedrich Handel
+   + How The Grinch Stole Christmas
+         - everybody holding hands and singing
+     The Bishop's Wife (Cary Grant) {?}
  
***************
*** 14,17 ****
  ===============================================================================
! Video games seen:
! 
      Escape from Grandma's House
--- 40,42 ----
  ===============================================================================
! >> Video games
      Escape from Grandma's House
***************
*** 20,24 ****
  
  ===============================================================================
! > Lisa's Quote
  ===============================================================================
  Al Wesolowsky {abw} reports:
--- 45,76 ----
  
+ >> Refrigerator door
+     Lots of vocabulary tests on which Lisa got an `A'
+     A blur ribbon labelled ``1st Place''
+     A crude drawing of a cat (Bart's)
+ 
+ >> Singing and holding hands
+     Chief Wiggum
+     Krusty
+     Reverend Lovejoy
+     Mrs. Lovejoy
+     Jacques
+     Princess Cashmere
+     Grampa Simpson
+     Otto
+     Bleeding Gums Murphy and Lisa (playing sax)
+     Sideshow Mel
+     Jasper
+     Cowboy Bob
+     Marge
+     Homer
+     Maggie, SLH and Snowball II
+         (Maggie wobbles, but SLH catches her before she falls)
+     Apu
+     Patty and Selma ride past in a sleigh
+ 
  ===============================================================================
! > Comments and other observations
  ===============================================================================
+ >> Lisa's Quote
+ 
  Al Wesolowsky {abw} reports:
***************
*** 36,40 ****
  
! ===============================================================================
! > Other notes
! ===============================================================================
  
--- 88,90 ----
  
! >> Trailers
  
***************
*** 45,49 ****
  
  ===============================================================================
! > Quotes
  ===============================================================================
  Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted.  Is this a book report or a witch hunt?
--- 95,129 ----
  
+ >> Maggie falls
+ 
+     1   Getting off the couch after watching Itchy and Scratchy
+     1   When Bart calls Milhouse
+     1   When the radio announces that SNPP is closed
+ 
+ >> Miscellaneous
+ 
+     One guess how John Hancock was writing his name in the snow.
+ 
  ===============================================================================
! > Quotes and scene summary
  ===============================================================================
+ % Springfield Elementary School.  Martin completes his book report, titled
+ % ``An Afternoon With Ernest Hemingway:  Reflections by Martin'', complete
+ % with beard and fishing pole props.  Ms. Krabappel gushes in admiration.
+ % Bart slips a packet on Martin's seat.  ``A little ketchup for your buns,
+ % Papa?''  (*splort*)  Next up is Bart.
+ 
+ Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled!  [walks to the front of the room]
+ Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book that I
+ read is <Treasure Island>.  It's about these... [describing the book jacket]
+ pirates... with patches over their eyes...  and...  shiny gold teeth...
+ and green birds on their shoulders...  [pause]
+ Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Lewis Stevenson?
+ And published by the good people at McGraw Hill.  So, in conclusion,
+ on the Simpson scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, one being
+ the lowest, and five being average, I give this book... a nine.
+ Any questions?   [hands go up]   Nope?  Then I'll just sit down.
+ -- Bart's book report, ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ % Ms. Krabappel asks Bart if he actually read the book.
+ 
  Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted.  Is this a book report or a witch hunt?
***************
*** 52,54 ****
  
! Mrs.K: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson: I think you know our district psychiatrist
         Dr. J. Loren Pryor.
--- 132,279 ----
  
! % She challenges him to tell the class the name of the pirate.
! % Bart thinks frantically to himself... ``Blackbeard... Captain Nemo...
! % Captain Hook...  Long John Silver... Pegleg Pete... Bluebeard...''
! % He guesses Bluebeard.  He guesses wrong.
! %
! % After class...
! 
! I will not fake my way through life.
! -- Bart's blackboard punishment, ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! Ms.K: Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term.
!       Are you aware of that?
! Bart: Yes, ma'am.
! Ms.K: Are you aware that there is a major exam tomorrow on colonial America?
! Bart: Yes, ma'am.
! Ms.K: Blah blah, blah-blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah?
! Bart: Yes, ma'am.
! Ms.K: Blah blah.  Blah-blah blah, blah blah blah.
! Bart: Yes, ma'am.
! Ms.K: Bart!  You haven't been paying attention to a word I said, have you.
! Bart: Yes, ma'am.
! Ms.K: Well, then what did I say?
! Bart: Uhhhhhh... Straighten up and fly right?
! Ms.K: Pah!  That was a lucky guess.
! -- Yes, ma'am, ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % At the Noiseland Video Arcade, Bart plays (and loses) ``Escape from Grandma's
! % House''.  Bart resolves, ``A couple more games, then I'll hit the books.''
! % He goes to the change machine and changes a $10 bill.
! %
! % Bart (sipping a soda), Lisa and Maggie watch Itchy and Scratchy.  The episode
! % has a French Revolutionary theme.  Marge calls the family to dinner.  Homer
! % rushes in before the icky skin forms on the soup.  Bart resolves, ``Right
! % after dinner, it's down to business.''
! %
! % At dinner...
! 
! Homer: Marge, could you get me another beer, please.
! Marge: Just a second, Homer.  Lisa has some good news.
! Lisa:  He doesn't care, Mom.
! Homer: Sure I do!  I just want to have a beer while I'm caring.
! -- It's like walking and chewing gum, ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % Lisa got an A on her vocabulary test.  Homer proudly tapes the test to the
! % refrigerator, among the other vocabulary tests on the door, covering a crude
! % drawing labelled ``Cat'', drawn by Bart.  Homer decides pick up that beer
! % while he's there.
! %
! % Homer remembers that it's Big Gorilla Week on Million Dollar Movie.  Bart
! % tries to go study, but Homer yanks him into the living room.  Homer and
! % Bart watch ``Gorilla the Conqueror'' together.  ``Oh, well, maybe just
! % one more hour.''  The movie ends with the gorilla, in a cage, set adrift
! % at sea.  Homer sobs, ``It's so unfair...  Just because he's different.''
! % Bart leaves for his room to study.
! %
! % Bart enthusiastically cracks open his history book.  He tries reading
! % but dozes off.
! 
! Homer: Pssst.  Marge, come take a look at this.
!        [Bart has fallen asleep at his desk]
! Marge: Oh... the little tiger tries so hard.
!        Why does he keep failing?
! Homer: Just a little dim, I guess.
! -- Like father, like son, ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % Homer and Marge put Bart to bed.
! %
! % Bart wakes up the next morning.  ``Uh-oh.''
! %
! % Bart takes an open textbook on the bus...
! 
! Bart: [reading his history book while boarding the bus]
! Otto: Hey, Bart-dude!  Whoa, you little freaked! [?]
! Bart: Hey, Otto.  I got a big test today I am <not> ready for.
!       Could you please crash the bus or something?
! Otto: Oh, ho, sorry, little buddy.  Can't do it on purpose.
!       But, hey!  Maybe you'll get lucky!
! -- ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % Bart decides to find a seat next to an egghead, pump him for some answers,
! % and ``boom, back on Easy Street''.  He selects Sherry and Terry.  But
! % they see him coming and have a surprise in store.
! 
! Bart:   Good morning, girls!
! Sherry+Terry:  Good morning, Bart!
! Bart:   Say... Who's up for a little cram session?  I'll go first.
!         What was the name of the Pilgrims' boat?
! Sherry: The Spirit of St. Louis.
! Bart:   [taking notes]  And where'd they land?
! Terry:  Sunny Acapulco.
! Bart:   And why'd they leave England?
! Sherry: Giant rats.
! Bart:   Cool!  History's coming alive!
! -- ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % The girls giggle.  Martin overhears the conversation.
! %
! % As Bart gets off the bus, Martin (though he's not sure why he's doing it)
! % warns Bart that the answers the girls gave him were wrong.  ``A blindfolded
! % chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test
! % than you do.''
! %
! % In class...
! 
! Ms.K: All right, class, take one and pass the rest back.  [hands out exams]
! Bart: [to himself]  Think, Simpson, think.  Crisis brings out the best in you.
!       [convulses and collapses on the floor, moaning]
! Ms.K: Ugh.  What is it, Bart.
! Bart: [climbing back to his seat]  Nothing... Must... take... test...
!       [falls back to the floor]
! -- Bart the Thespian, ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % Bart leaves the classroom clutching his stomach.  He dances through the
! % hallway, then resumes his histrionics when he reaches the nurse's office.
! % The nurse is on the floor picking up a dropped jar of tongue depressors.
! 
! Nurse: [concerned]  What's the matter, son?
! Bart:  [clutching his stomach]  Sharp, stabbing pains... in my stomach.
! Nurse: Oh dear, I've heard of this... [consults a medical reference book,
!        opens to the page ``Amoria Phlebitis'']
!        Do you feel a shooting pain in your arm?
! Bart:  [waving his arms]  Both of them.
! Nurse: Temporary loss of vision?
! Bart:  [blindly]  Huh?  Who said that?  Come closer...
! -- Live from the Improv, ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % In his bed, Bart finishes another bowl and rings a bell.  Marge comes in,
! % and Bart asks for another dish of double-cappuchino chocolate-fudge.  Marge
! % is pleased that Bart seems to be recovering, since this is his third bowl.
! % Marge asks if there's anything else, and Bart asks for the TV set.
! % Marge calls downstairs to Homer (who is watching a gorilla movie),
! % ``Bring the television up.  Bart's got his vision back!''
! 
! I wish <I> had Amoria Phlebitis...
! -- Homer, ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % Lisa and Maggie join Bart.  Lisa says, ``Everyone knows you're faking it,
! % Bart.''  Bart responds, ``Well, everyone better keep their mouth shut.''
! % Bart calls Milhouse to get the answers to the exam.
! %
! % Bart breezes through the exam.  Ms. Krabappel grades it on the spot.
! % ``This test is worse than Milhouse's exam!''  This is the final straw.
! %
! % Homer and Marge join Bart in the classroom.
! 
! Mrs.K: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, I think you know our district psychiatrist
         Dr. J. Loren Pryor.
***************
*** 55,60 ****
  Homer: Hey, Dr. J.
! Dr.J.: [ahem]  I think we have on our hands here a classic case of what lay
!        humen [sic] refer to as fear of failure.  As a result Bart is an
         underachiever and yet he seems to be... How shall I put this...
!        proud of it.
  Homer: Hmmm.
--- 280,285 ----
  Homer: Hey, Dr. J.
! Dr.J.: [ahem]  I think we have on our hands here a classic case of what
!        laymen refer to as fear of failure.  As a result Bart is an
         underachiever and yet he seems to be... How shall I put this...
!        proud of it?
  Homer: Hmmm.
***************
*** 62,63 ****
--- 287,291 ----
         to blah blah blah blah...
+ Homer: Uh-huh.
+ Dr.J.: Blah blah blah, blah blah blah...
+ Homer: Mmmm...
  -- Bart is close to failing fourth grade, ``Bart Gets an F''
***************
*** 64,72 ****
  
! Bart:   I can make you popular.
! Martin: But I'm already popular.
! Bart:   Allow me to demonstrate. [pushes Martin down, crowd laughs]
! Martin: But I don't understand...
! Bart:   Perhaps you missed my point. [pushes him down again, more laughs]
! -- ``Bart Gets an F''
  
  Otto: Get off the bus or forever hold your peace, little dudes!
--- 292,311 ----
  
! % Unlike the other students in the class, Bart has not shown any improvement
! % over the semester.  Indeed, his grades have gotten worse.  Bart cracks.
! % ``Okay, okay!  Why are we dancing around the obvious?  I know it, you know
! % it.  I am <dumb>, okay?  Dumb as a post!  Think I'm happy about it?''
! % Dr. Pryor reluctantly recommends that Bart be held back.  Bart protest,
! % but Marge suggests it might not be so bad.  Bart continues his protests.
  
+ Look at my eyes!  See the sincerity?  See the conviction?  See the fear?
+ -- Bart learns he might be held back a grade, ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ As God as my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!
+ -- Bart, ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ % Adds Homer, ``And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the
+ % other kids.''
+ %
+ % [End of Act One.  Time: 9:33]  (Wow, a long one.)
+ 
  Otto: Get off the bus or forever hold your peace, little dudes!
***************
*** 85,86 ****
--- 324,361 ----
  
+ % Bart trudges into school.
+ %
+ % In class, the phrase ``repeat the fourth grade'' echos through Bart's head
+ % as he slips into a daydream.  An elderly Ms. Krabappel asks an adult Bart,
+ % ``What was the pirate's name in <Treasure Island>?''  Bart responds, ``Look,
+ % lady.  I got a peptic ulcer, my wife's hocking me for a new car, and I need
+ % a root canal.  Willya quit buggin' me about the stupid pirate!'' Bart, Jr.
+ % whispers the answer to his father, but Ms. Krabappel catches him and asks
+ % to see them both after class.
+ %
+ % Bart wakes up when a baseball bounces off his forehead.  The ball rolls
+ % over near Martin, who is seated under a tree reading.  When Martin throws
+ % the ball like a girl, the other kids laugh.  Martin returns to the
+ % forecastle of the Pequod.  Bart gets an idea.  He asks Martin to help him
+ % pass.
+ 
+ Bart:   I can make it so the other kids don't laugh at you so much.
+ Martin: They... laugh at me?  I've always considered myself rather popular.
+ Bart:   You're not.  Watch.  [pushes Martin down, crowd laughs]
+ Martin: But... but my speed with numbers... [Bart helps Martin to his feet]
+         my years of service as a hall monitor, my prize-winning dioramas?
+         These things mean nothing to them?
+ Bart:   Perhaps another demonstration.  [pushes him down again, more laughs]
+ -- ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ % Martin gets the point.  Asks Bart, ``Then it's Adil?''  Martin agrees.
+ %
+ % First order of business is to inspect Bart's study area.  Bart shows Martin
+ % to his room.  ``There's a desk under that junk over there.''  Martin says
+ % the room must be cleaned, and some ferns added.
+ 
+ No study area is complete without adequate plant life.
+ -- Martin, ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ % Bart and Martin get on the school bus.
+ 
  Martin: [takes a seat at the front of the bus]
***************
*** 95,101 ****
          the potential for mischief varies inversely with one's proximity
!         to the authority figure!   [Shows his equation to Bart:
!                           1
!             M  O(     ---------]
!                          P
!                           A
  Bart:   Well, yeah, but don't say it like that...
--- 370,372 ----
          the potential for mischief varies inversely with one's proximity
!         to the authority figure!   [Shows his equation to Bart: M \propto 1/P]
  Bart:   Well, yeah, but don't say it like that...
***************
*** 103,105 ****
  
! Pretty soon, you'll be able to try it with a <real> book!
  -- Martin watches Bart with a highlighter pen and a `book', ``Bart Gets an F''
--- 374,396 ----
  
! % Bart pops a wheelie on his bicycle.  He then removes the basket from
! % Martin's bicycle, and Martin rides out of frame.  (*crash*)
! %
! % Martin adds a fern to Bart's shiny-clean room.
! %
! % Bart teaches Martin how to shoot a slingshot, but the rubber band snaps
! % back in Martin's face.
! %
! % Martin and Bart sit under a tree, reading a comic book and a history
! % book, respectively.  Inside Bart's book is a comic book; inside Martin's
! % comic book is a textbook.  Each looks at the other's book.
! %
! % Bart finishes a ``Duh!'' graffito and hands the spray can to Martin.
! % Martin produces an elegant mural of Ms. Krabappel at her desk.  Bart
! % slaps his forehead.
! %
! % Bart teaches Martin how to make funny faces.
! %
! % Martin watches while Bart reads a book, highlighter pen in hand.
! 
! Pretty soon, you will be able to try it with a <real> book!
  -- Martin watches Bart with a highlighter pen and a `book', ``Bart Gets an F''
***************
*** 106,111 ****
  
! Bart: [praying] Well old timer, I guess this is the end of the road.  I know
        I haven't always been a good kid, but, if I have to go to school
!       tomorrow, I'll fail the test---and be held back.  I just need one more
!       day to study, Lord.  I need your help!
  Lisa: [watching] Prayer... the last refuge of a scoundrel.
--- 397,418 ----
  
! % Milhouse, Lewis, Richard, Bart and Martin stop for breath after pulling
! % some unseen prank.
! 
! Who would have ever thought that pushing a boy into the girl's lavatory
! could be such a thrill!  The screams!  The humiliation!  The fact that
! it wasn't me!
! -- Martin joins Bart and friends, ``Bart Gets an F''
! 
! % Bart reminds Martin about the history test, but Martin is too busy
! % having fun.  ``Life's too short for tests!''  Bart leads the other
! % boys (except for Bart) to the arcade.
! %
! % In his room, Bart doodles in his textbook.  Marge pops in and reminds
! % Bart that it's past his bedtime.  Bart reluctantly closes the book.
! % ``This is hopeless.''
! 
! Bart: [praying] Well, old timer, I guess this is the end of the road.  I know
        I haven't always been a good kid, but, if I have to go to school
!       tomorrow, I'll fail the test and be held back.  I just need one more
!       day to study, Lord.  I need Your help!
  Lisa: [watching] Prayer... the last refuge of a scoundrel.
***************
*** 113,115 ****
        cancel school tomorrow.  I know it's asking a lot, but if anyone can do
!       it, you can!  Thanking you in advance, your pal, Bart Simpson.
  -- ``Bart Gets an F''
--- 420,422 ----
        cancel school tomorrow.  I know it's asking a lot, but if anyone can do
!       it, You can!  Thanking You in advance, Your pal, Bart Simpson.
  -- ``Bart Gets an F''
***************
*** 116,117 ****
--- 423,438 ----
  
+ % Bart turns off the light.  Outside, snow begins to fall.  A chorus sings
+ % ``Hallelujah!''
+ %
+ % [End of Act Two.  Time: 15:00]
+ %
+ % Marge wakes Bart, who dreads the day.  But Marge shows him the snow outside,
+ % and Bart yells, ``Good morning, world!''  He takes the banister express
+ % downstairs and joins the rest of the family listening intently to the radio.
+ % Homer celebrates the closing of the nuclear power plant.  Next, the school
+ % closings.  And yes, Springfield County schools are closed.
+ %
+ % Kids rush out of their houses to enjoy the snow, followed futility by
+ % their respective mothers being motherly.
+ 
  Bart:  [running towards door with sled; goggles on head] Cowabunga!
***************
*** 118,120 ****
  Marge: Remember to take a break if your arms go numb!
! Bart:  [sees Lisa standing in doorway]  Hey!
  Lisa:  I heard you last night, Bart.  You prayed for this.  Now your
--- 439,441 ----
  Marge: Remember to take a break if your arms go numb!
! Bart:  [rushes for the front door.  Lisa's ominous shadow blocks the way]  Hey!
  Lisa:  I heard you last night, Bart.  You prayed for this.  Now your
***************
*** 121,124 ****
         prayers have been answered.  I'm no theologian; I don't know who or
!        what God is exactly, all I know is he's a force more powerful than Mom
!        and Dad put together, and you owe him big.  [shuts the door]
  Bart:  You're right.  [removes goggles, hands them to Lisa]
--- 442,445 ----
         prayers have been answered.  I'm no theologian; I don't know who or
!        what God is exactly, all I know is He's a force more powerful than Mom
!        and Dad put together, and you owe Him big.  [shuts the door]
  Bart:  You're right.  [removes goggles, hands them to Lisa]
***************
*** 131,132 ****
--- 452,500 ----
  
+ % Outside, kids have a snowball fight.  Milhouse takes a ride on a sled.
+ % Kids build a snow fort.  Marge takes the girls out ice skating.
+ % Also on the ice are Ms. Krabappel and Principal Skinner, playing
+ % hockey.  Says Ms. K, ``I haven't had this much fun in years!''
+ % Monty Burns walks past in period clothes, and a stray snowball knocks
+ % off his top hat.  Homer chuckles from behind a wall.  Monty is a good
+ % sport about it.
+ 
+ Burns:    I was never one to back away from a snowball fight!
+           Smithers, you may fire at will!
+ Smithers: Certainly, sir.
+ -- Snow Day, ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ % Smithers pegs Homer in the noggin.
+ %
+ % A band plays.  Diamond Joe Quimby speaks.
+ 
+ I hereby declare this day to be Snow Day, the funnest day in the history of
+ Springfield!
+ -- Diamond Joe Quimby, ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ % People hold hands and sing carols.
+ %
+ % Bart peels his face away from the window and goes into the basement.
+ % He reads about the First Continental Congress.  Bart envisions himself
+ % seated among the delegates.
+ 
+ Th. Jefferson: We hold these truths to be self-evident...
+ Bart: [to himself] We hold these truths to be self-evident...
+       We hold these truths to be self-evident...
+ Th. Jefferson: That all men are created equal.
+ Bart: [to himself]  That all men are created equal...
+ Th. Jefferson: And from that equal creation they derive rights inherent
+        and inalienable...
+ Delegate: [glances out the window, points]
+        Hey, look, everybody!  It's snowing!
+ Delegate: In the middle of July?
+ Al. Hamilton:  It's a miracle!
+ Ben Franklin: [comes in, shakes snow off his wig]
+       I've invented something fun!  The sled!
+       [all the delegates (except Bart) rush outside to play]
+ Delegate: [o.s.] Hey, look everybody!
+       John Hancock's writing his name in the snow!
+ -- Trying to study during a snow day, ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ % Bart shuts the textbook in horror.  He stares at his chewed pencil.
+ 
  You wanna be held back a grade?  Concentrate, man!
***************
*** 134,137 ****
  
! I got a D-!  I passed!  I got a D-!  I passed!  I got a D-!  I passed!
! I passed! I . . . kissed a teacher!  Yuck!  Ptuu!  Ick!
  -- Bart rejoices when he passes his test, ``Bart Gets an F''
--- 502,528 ----
  
! % Through the cellar window, the rest of the family watch Bart slap himself.
! %
! % (*slap*)  Bart slaps himself in class after the exam is over.  Martin
! % calmly turns in his test, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and wearing shades.
! % Bart answers the final few questions as Ms. Krabappel asks him to turn
! % in his exam.  She pulls out `Old Red'' and grades the exam as Bart watches
! % sadly, cringing at every X-mark.  Bart got a 59, another F.  Bart can't
! % believe it.  Neither can Ms. Krabappel.  ``Another year together.  Ugh,
! % it's going to be hell.''  Bart stares at his exam and cries.  Ms. Krabappel
! % doesn't understand, ``I figure you'd be used to failing by now.''  Bart
! % explains that he really tried this time, but it was no use.  Ms. Krabappel
! % tries to reasssure him, ``Well, a 59 is a <high> F...''  Bart complains,
! % ``Now I know how George Washington felt when he surrendered Fort Necessity
! % to the French in 1754!''  Ms. Krabappel is shocked.  She looks up the
! % reference and announces, ``My God, Bart, you're right!''  She rewards
! % him with an extra point on his exam, bringing him up to a D-.
! 
! Bart: I... passed?
! Ms.K: Just barely!
! Bart: Gasp!  I passed!  I got a D-!  I passed!  [crying tears of joy]
!       All right!  [kisses Ms. Krabappel and dances out of the classroom]
!       I passed, I passed, I passed, I passed!  I got a D-!  I passed!
!       [showing off his exam to anyone and everyone]
!       I got a D-!  I passed!  I got a D-!  I passed!
!       I passed!  I... ... ... kissed the teacher!  Yuck!  Ptuu!  Ick!
  -- Bart rejoices when he passes his test, ``Bart Gets an F''
***************
*** 138,142 ****
  
  Homer: We're proud of you, boy!
! Bart:  Thanks dad.  But part of this D minus belongs to God...
  -- Posting Bart's test on the refrigerator, ``Bart Gets an F''
  ===============================================================================
--- 529,537 ----
  
+ % Homer tapes Bart's test on the refrigerator.
+ 
  Homer: We're proud of you, boy!
! Bart:  Thanks Dad.  But part of this D minus belongs to God...
  -- Posting Bart's test on the refrigerator, ``Bart Gets an F''
+ 
+ % [End of Act Three.  Time: 20:46]
  ===============================================================================