From: kdc5072@ultb.isc.rit.edu (K.D. Colagio)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Why can't I have two shoulders?
Keywords: bizarre, upset, hobbits
Date: 12 Oct 92 15:59:56 GMT
Followup-To: soc.bi
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Originator: kdc5072@ultb

-> George Heard (Laurie 8) writes:
-> G'day marvelous people...
->
'Morning to you!
->
->    Being comfortable with one's sexuality is something I have found extremely
-> important. I've been aware and comfortable of my bisexuality for a few years
-> now, and I try to be a good shoulder and ear for friends, particularly when
-> their problems spring from accepting what they truly feel...
->
Join the club, and *HUG*, glad to know (I thought, but now I know <grin>)
I'm not the only one out here...

->    I have talked with someone on irc for a while who is having problems coming
-> to terms with his sexuality. He lives fairly close to where I do, he goes to
-> the same institution as I, and we have talked over the net pretty much every
-> day. He seemed to be making progress with coming to terms with being bisexual,
-> and I suggested we meet face to face. I feel it is silly to talk over a
-> computer when we are so close. I wasn't interested in him sexually at all, I
-> just thought he needed some sort of support through the difficult phase.
->
->    Last night we decided to meet and get something to eat. Just as we were
-> tieing up our meeting, a friend appeared on irc, almost in tears over a very
-> real personal problem. He wanted to talk it over with me, but I made plans
-> to meet this person at the bar on compus and go to my place for something to
-> eat.
->
Can we say "Hello Mr. Rock and Mr. Hard-Place, nice to be between you!"

I knew we could....

->    The meeting was not a complete success. My confused friend found it hard
-> to talk to a real person about what we had discussed on irc, I did all the
-> talking, we walked back to my flat and he was just itching to leave. I went
-> through the letters I'd received and some phone messages, he flicked through
-> my record collection. He asked if he could leave, he felt too weird, I said
-> he could do as he pleased, I was always here for him to talk to. He left...
->
ahhh...too often this can happen.  Having the computer as a barrier makes
some people feel much safer, especially when talking about personal
issues...  That's part of the reason I try and talk to people in person as
soon as possible.

->    I left a good friend in need to try and help someone who probably didn't
-> deserve my caring ears and shoulder. I really feel I have let someone down for
-> no real good reason. I don't think either person read this newsgroup, I don't
-> really know why I'm wasting bandwith sometimes. I just wish that I had two
-> shoulders...
->
What makes you think they didn't deserve it?  Because they were
uncomfortable?

Trust me, every little bit helps...it was for a good reason.

And your friend that tried to get ahold of you...well, I understand the
feeling of needing someone, but once in a while, it doesn't hurt to face
something on your own, and since you had other plans, it may be better for
the friend to face things (at least partially) on their own...

Life is not simple, and you can help peoplt through part of it, but they,
sooner or later, must handle some of it on their own.

*hugs* and good luck...

    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
    =   Kevin Colagio...student at large -    In Gods we trust,      -
    -                aka                 -   All others pay cash.    =
    =       KDC5072@ultb.isc.rit.edu     -        -Vladimir Taltos   -
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