From: lcrew@andromeda.rutgers.edu (Louie Crew)
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.christia
Subject: Prodigal homophobe comes home
Date: 15 Apr 92 13:11:19 GMT
Reply-To: <lcrew@andromeda.rutgers.edu>
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

[This letter was written to the Rev. Karen Ducham, pastor of the 
Tampa Metropolitan Community Church.--lc]
 
Dear Rev. Ducham:
 
     Two years ago any letter you received from me would have 
been one of hatred and condemnation.
     My son was "properly" put out of our house when he told us he 
was gay.  Our pastor advised us in the methods of "tough love," 
cutting off our love to Bob until he changed his ways and stopped his 
sinful behavior.
     We did not see our son for three years, when we were 
informed that he was in the hospital dying from AIDS.
     Bob did not die and my pastor told me that God was giving me 
a second chance to save my son's soul from the fires of hell.  I was to 
go to him, stay with him and save his soul by bringing him to Christ.
     I went with Bible in hand and a missionary determination.
     I moved in with my son and stayed with my son for the next 
eight months, determined to be with him wherever he went that I 
might change his ways and guide him toward the right path before he 
died.
     I was with him when he picked up food.  I found I had brought 
my Bible with me, but nothing for the pantry.
     I was with him for his blood transfusions.  I found I had 
brought my Bible but Bob's friend read to him a story he liked since 
Bob's eyes couldn't see the small print.
     I was with him when he went through a period of chills.  I had 
brought my Bible but the nextdoor neighbor brought him an afghan 
to wrap around him.
     I was with him when one of his friends wasn't doing well and 
was having trouble keeping food in his system.  I offered to read to 
his friend from my Bible but Bob instead cooked him a special dinner 
that he ate and was able to keep in his system long enough to get 
nourishment.
     I was with him when he went to get medical help.  We had 
with "tough love" taken our son off our insurance policy.  I sat in the 
hospital waiting room with my Bible in my hands watching all the 
"foster parents" struggle to help another abandoned child.
     I was with him when he went to church.  I took my Bible of 
course and prayed that words would be uttered which would get my 
son back on the right path.  Instead my son was hugged and kissed 
and loved.
     I finally realized that my hands had been so busy holding on to 
my Bible that I had not--in the six months that I had been living with 
my son--ever touched him.
     I hugged my son that day for the first time in three and a half 
years.  The God my son knew so well was not the God I had heard so 
much about or the God I was striving so hard to introduce Bob to.
     I came that day, many months ago, to save my son, and praise 
God and your community.....my son saved me!
     I pray that you will not have to deal with many more parents 
such as the one I sued to be, and if I meet any I now have a lot of 
positive things to share with them.
     God love you all!
 
                                          --Margaret


-- 
  ==========================================================================
  Louie Crew, Assoc. Prof., Academic Foundations Dept., Rutgers U./NWK 07102
  lcrew@andromeda.rutgers.edu                                   201-485-4503
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