From: billc@cryo.rain.com (William J. Coldwell)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.graphics
Subject: SMURFMORPH(TM) (wasn't: Open Letter)
Date: 12 Nov 92 16:47:20 GMT
Article-I.D.: cryo.billc.0gza
Reply-To: billc@cryo.rain.com
Organization: Cryogenic Software - Portland, OR
X-PHRASEMONGER: Somewhat Nice (V3.0 Beta)
X-SIGNATUREMONGER: Nice (V1.1)
X-NewsSoftware: GRn-beta 1.16g (11.07.92) by Mike Schwartz & Michael B. Smith

In article <69329@cup.portal.com> blackbelt@cup.portal.com (Ben - Williams) writes:
> pk/ASDG says:
>     Black Belt responds
[repeat 13 more times...]

Have you checked your medication lately?  Are you taking it like you should?
Don't you think that this may be getting a little into the "totally
ridiculous" catagory?  No?  Ok, let's get ridiculous.

[Wayne's World Dream sequence]

Sheesh, if this gets any worse, I can foresee litigation... and I think you
all should solve it on the People's Court(tm).

[Judge Wapner will be played by Bill Coldwell today..]
[Doug Llewelyn will be played by Dan Barrett...]

DL:  WELCOME TO THE BLAZE -ER PEOPLE'S COURT.  TODAY, WE HAVE THE CASE OF
	"HE WHO MORPHS MORPHS, MORPHS MORPHS".

JW: Be seated, I have read your drivel.  I see that you all have packages
	that morph on the market.  What's the problem?

BW: Well, ASDG is lying, and so is GVP.  We have the best morphing package.

PK: Neat trick, didn't realize that your nose could grow when you said things
	like that - but can you turn a baby into a smurf?  [PK gives JW exhibit A,
	A small blue smurf that resembles PK in a strange, but familiar way].

BW: Well that's nothing.. [BW puts on a magician hat and wand and turns his
	lovely assistant into a tiger, which causes the baliff to pass out]. [He
	then turns her back, but forgot to set the resolution correctly, which
	makes her come out like Barbara Bush].

KW: [Pulls up Harvard Graphics charts and shows them to JW]  You see, these
	other packages don't have our secret sauce. so they don't taste as well
	after you morph.. take this hamburger, [JW does, and eats it] it was once
	a cow.  Now a cow doesn't taste good, but after putting it through our
	morph process it now smells better and tastes good. [JW belches and
	agrees, wiping the special sauces off of his face].

BW: He's lying! [and takes a bite out of his assistant, who promptly screams
	and passes out].  Tastes better! [wiping the foam from his mouth].

PK: Whoa... [grabbing onto the table as Sam jumps into his body, and realizes]
	that his clothes no longer fit] I gotta stop these crash diets. [Trying to
	keep his pants up]

JW: Now that's a neat trick.

BW: He's lying! [runs over to KW and takes a bite out of him]  Tastes great!

KW: Well I've got GVP marketing my package, so nyah nyah nyah [trying to keep
	the blood from gushing out of his body].

PK: I feel strange.

JW: I've heard enough.. this case is thrown out, based on stupidity.  If any
	of you make money off of your products, then so be it.. pay me on the way
	out.  I want a free version of each of your packages.  Oh, and I don't
	ever want to see you here in my court again!

[The baliff wakes up long enough to say "all rise", before he sees Barbara
	Bush next to him with a bite taken out of her, and passes out again.]

[JW passes back the little blue smurf to PK, who wonders why this person
	is passing back this thing to him, and why it looks vaguely familiar...]

[KW wants his cow back, but all JW can do is morph a belch that neither
	tastes or smells good, and comments that they still need to work on that
	special sauce...  Two guys in black suits and sunglasses come and escort
	KW away to a special limosine (which was morphed from a VW Van with
	flowers and peace signs on it).]

DL: I SEE THAT THE JUDGE DIDN'T VOTE IN YOUR FAVOR... WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY
	ABOUT THAT?

[KW starts to say something, but one of the suits flashes a GVP badge and
	says he can't say anything].  KW shrugs.

DL: I SEE THAT THE JUDGE DIDN'T VOTE IN YOUR FAVOR... WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY
	ABOUT THAT?

PK: [Sam jumps from his body from shear boredom, and his clothes swell back
	up] I feel strange. [and walks off with the little blue smurf].  Just
	wait to see what I morph your Yellow Rubber Duck into...

DL: I SEE THAT THE JUDGE DIDN'T VOTE IN YOUR FAVOR... WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY
	ABOUT THAT?

BW: He's lying! [and takes a bite out of DL] Tastes great!

DL: AND THAT WRAPS IT UP FOR BLAZE -ER PEOPLE'S COURT.  SO THE NEXT TIME YOU
	WANT TO TAKE MORPHING INTO YOUR OWN HANDS... TAKE 'EM TO COURT.
-- 
#Disclaimer:  I'm sorry.  That's the way it goes.
#This Amiga developer has amused himself to death.