HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ceb@dbrus.Unify.Com (Caroline E. Bryan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Barefoot in the park, or anywhere else...
Date: 31 Jul 92 16:50:03 GMT
Organization: /usr/lib/news/organization

In article <1992Jul30.155438.5260@cheshire.oxy.edu> mike_p@cheshire.oxy.edu (Michael John Petterson) writes:
>Here is a topic not in the FAQ that struck me as never being proven completely
>in my mind.  
>
>In science classes across the U.S. (perhaps abroad as well), teachers are
>teaching something along the lines that if one goes barefoot, some tiny worm
>will shoot up you heel into your stomach and probably kill you. (Ok, so I'm
>paraphrasing)
>
>I believe this is simply a plot to keep me in shoes (it'll never work!),
>however many of my friends swear this is true "because my science teacher said
>so".  My science teacher also taught me I'm related to monkeys (JOKE--for the 
>humor-impaired).

In the US Southeast both tapeworms and chiggers are real pests.  In the larval
stage, tapeworms live in soil contaminated (or enriched if you're a gardener)
with manure.  They get into the intestinal system by mouth (playing mud pies,
then eating lunch after insufficiently washing hands, or by just plain eating
dirt), and thrive in the stomach or intestines until they are surgically
removed or something kills them.  (When I was about 10 I shat a foot-long,
1-inch-wide dead tapeworm -- an unnerving experience, believe me!)  A person
over-infested with tapeworm has an enormous appetite but is malnourished --
the tapeworms use it all before he gets it.  Chiggers are a flying insect.
They (or their larval stage, a "tiny worm") burrow into the skin and lay eggs
there.  Reaction varies from intense itching to allergic poisoning.  They are
attracted to skin that is sweaty and/or dirty.  Sounds to me that your science
teacher combined tapeworms and chiggers to keep your shoes on.


Carrie		ceb@rechenau.unify.com	x6244     ----------------------------+
| ... one of those cliches that are always lying in wait to fill a vacuum in  |
| the brain.		- H.W. Fowler					      |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: gfowler@javelin.sim.es.com (Gary Fowler)
Subject: Choking Burglar
Organization: Evans & Sutherland Computer Corporation
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 14:53:44 GMT

This really happened in Salt Lake City a few months ago.  It was on the
local news.  However, it sound like an UL.

A thief broke into a local deli during the night.  Apparently he was so
hungry he started grabbing food and stuffing it in his mouth.  He pretty
much trashed the joint, going from one food item to the next in a ravenous
fashion.  While he was trying to snarf it down, something got stuck in his
throat.  He couldn't get it out so he ended up calling 911.  The police
came, rescued him and promtly arrested him.  Talk about some bad luck.

I also heard a similar story on a local radio station, but I'm not so sure
if it is true.  I didn't catch the whole thing so I don't know where it
supposedly occured.

A thief tried to break into a restaurant by slipping through the ventilation
system.  For some reason unknown to me, he removed his clothing to make it
easier to get through.  He tried to "shinny in the skinny" as the radio
announcer put it.  Well the unfortunate slob ended up getting stuck and had
to remain there until the next morning when the police could rescue him and
arrest him.

Like I said, the first one is true, but the second one I'm leary of.  Please
let me know if it can be verified or if it is an UL.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: queen
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 01:22:28 GMT


My dad told me he read this one in a newspaper (yeah, right):

	The leader of some small third world commonwealth country
is visiting England.  He and the queen go for a carriage ride.
The horse lets a nasty fart, and the queen says "Oh, I'm so
sorry".  The third world leader supposedly said  "If you hadn't
said anything, I would have assumed the horse did it."



ObUL: They have fertility festivals in Japan.  They carry large
papier-mache (sp?) penises down the street during these events.

J.P. Papai	Papai@KCGL1.ENG.OHIO-STATE.EDU
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: hallam@zeus02.desy.de (Phillip M. Hallam-Baker)
Subject: Re: How many ways to make a Whopper<r>?
Reply-To: hallam@zeus02.desy.de
Organization: DESY ZEUS Central Data Acquisition
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 22:38:35 GMT

In article <6929.2A69A7F1@psycho.fidonet.org>,
jra@f160.n3603.z1.FIDONET.ORG (Jay Ashworth) 
|>"Jonathan R. Ferro", to All on Saturday July 18 1992:
|>
|> RF> From: jf41+@andrew.cmu.edu ("Jonathan R. Ferro")
|> RF> Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1992 15:39:38 -0400
|>
|> RF> I still get a kick out of the Burger King commercial that proudly
|>states
|> RF> that there are "over 1023" ways to put toppings your burger. 
|>One
|> RF> wonders if they used a calculator to figure this out or just made
|>one of
|> RF> each kind and then counted them.
|>
|>I used to work at the BK lounge, and since I was the only one with a
|>clue, I programmed the scroll sign.  Once upon a time, I figured out
|>the number of different ways to make a Whopper.  The number has gone
|>up, but here's a try:
|>
|>Condiments:
|>
|>   Mayonnaise
|>   Tomato
|>   Lettuce
|>   Ketchup
|>   Pickle
|>   Onion
|>   Mustard
|>   Ranch Sauce (from the BK Broiler)
|>   Barbecue Sauce (from the Bullseye burger)
|>   Tartar Sauce (from the (ex-)Whaler)
|>
|>each missing, light, regular, or heavy.

No you haven't got it there are 1023 different ways to have the toppings
put on, not 1023 different toppings, viz:-

With a knife/ finger/ shaker/ spoon
With/without a happy Flame grilled taste smile
With/without a silly hat saying `employee of the minute'
With a `have a nice day'/ `thats enough for a fat balding git like
yourself'/ `I didn't have to grovel to snivelling pricks like you when
working at Dahmers'/ `Enjoy'
Using a hypodermic needle.

etc.

I did have a few more suggestions but they were too gross.



Phill 
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: tlouie@athena.mit.edu (Tom Louie)
Subject: Craig Shergold gif?
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 14:08:45 GMT

Is there a Craig Shergold gif/bitmap/ASCII image out there?  If so, I'd
like to have a copy.  Thanks.

ObUL: A friend of mine is doing a computer ray-traced animation of Craig
Shergold feeding Alka-Seltzer to sea gulls.

Tom "Boom" Louie
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 20:10:15 GMT

In article <1992Jul21.185515.10903@csc.ti.com> fritz@ra.csc.ti.com (Fritz Whittington) writes:
>In article <1992Jul20.215204.13458@unislc.uucp> dw@unislc.uucp (Dan Wright) writes:
>>: This place that charged for ice the first bucket also had a very cheap
>>: attitute about checkout time: 9:00 AM was checkout time *local* time zone.
>>: The problem is that this hotel is just over the border from Arizona, where
>>: most of the attraction is.  Thus, checkout time for the time zone our
>>: bodies were on was 8:00 AM!
>>
>>Now just a minute.  Hold yer horses.  Utah and Arizona are both Mountain
>>time, so 9:00am Utah equals 9:00am Arizona.  I agree 9:00am is unreasonably
>>early, but the hotel cannot help it if your bodies just flew in from
>>Central time.
>
>Actually, during the summer Arizona does NOT go onto Daylight time,
>whereas Utah does.  The net effect is that when the local time in Utah
>is 9:00 am, it's 8:00 am in Arizona.
>-- 
>Fritz Whittington     Texas Instruments, 12840 Hillcrest #200, Dallas, TX 75230
>fritz@csc.ti.com                Office: +1 214 917 7437    FAX: +1 214 917 7487
>_Since I am not an official TI spokesperson, these opinions contain no spokes._


Thank you for vindicating my original post.

cjl
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong)
Subject: Re: 2/3's of the Three Stooges
Organization: Wang Labs, Lowell MA, USA
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 92 20:38:01 GMT
Keywords: Manny Moe Jack Curley Larry among others

ltf@ncmicro.lonestar.org (Lance Franklin) writes:

>In article <2A6A9825.29500@noiro.acs.uci.edu> dkrause@noiro.acs.uci.edu (Doug Krause) writes:
>}In article <qqg4NB4w165w@slic.cts.com> mikey@slic.cts.com (Mike Shirley) writes:
>}#Is it true that Moe and Curley were brothers?
>}
>}Moe, Curley, and Shemp.
>}
>}Moe:    Morris Horowitz
>}Curley: Jerome Horowitz
>}Shemp:  Samuel Horowitz
>}Larry:  Lawrence Fineberg
          ^^^^^^^^  ^^^
That was Louis Feinberg (10/5/1902-1/24/1975) according to "The
Three Stooges Scrapbook" (Lenburg/Maurer/Lenburg), Citadel Press (c) 1982

Dave
-- 
==========================================================================
Dave Bushong, KZ1O@K1UGM.MA         +    No .sig, no tattoo, 
Wang Laboratories, Inc.             +        no bald spot, no nothin!!
Internet: dbushong@wang.com         +-------------------------------------
Project leader, OCR Products        + (reserved for future expansion)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Banks + Short Term Car Loans = Scam?
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 11:58:06 GMT

In article <1992Jul21.033040.21929@PA.dec.com> mikkelson@breakr.enet.dec.com (snopes) writes:
>
>In article <1992Jul21.004946.11806@news.columbia.edu>, 
>  lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes...
>
>>No, the subject was a property such as a house that defaulted on a mortgage
>>payment and was repossessed and sold. 
>
>No, the subject is cars -- look at the subject line.  I just used a mortgage
>as an example of why the original story was obviously untrue.  If the bank
>can't make a profit on reselling something they've repossessed, whether it
>be a car or a house, they're not going to do it as long as the loan is
>paid off on schedule.

Subject line or not, the topic had already drifted to mortgage property, not
car loans.

>
>>My problem is who determines the worth of the property to ensure the rights 
>>of the owner in his claim to equity in the house. 
>
>If you pay property taxes (and who doesn't), your house already has an assessed
>value.   There are plenty of ways to have an independent, impartial assessment
>done -- that isn't really a problem.

Assessed valuation for tax purposes has nothing whatsoever to do with the
market value of a property.  Independent impartial assessment of the property
is merely a matter of "guiding" a professional assesor you pay off into a
low or high valuation as you desire.  This is a sleazy industry of professional
sleazes.  This is why I made the original post: who determines the fair market
value of the property, which in turn becomes the basis for a lawsuit if the
bank were to sell off your property returning you insufficent equity for the
portion beyond the mortgage obligation.

BTW, considering recent economic problems, there are many properties in
certain parts of the country with the problems I point out in place.  Quite
literally, debt is being carried on properties that aren't worth the
obligation; no bank would write such a mortgage in today's economy, but the
obligation was created in the early '80's when things looked quite different.
So, if someone defaults today, they face a climate that accepts the fact
that they may have negative equity in the property.  A bank scared of
worsening decline in value could be inclined to agree to a quick sale to
limit their losses or barely meet the debt with no regard for the owner's
equity in the property; this raises serious questions about their integrity
in regard to accepting some mythical assessment of the property's current
value.  If values are changing rapidly, the owner may have serious problems
proving the current value of the property at the time of forced sale.  In 
any case, foreclosure sales are on the rise, so the likelihood of abuse
must inevitably go along with it.

cjl
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin)
Subject: Re: Cat colouration
Reply-To: pt@geovision.gvc.com
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 19:24:37 GMT

swk004@muvms3.bitnet (CONNIE LEINEN, SWK004@MARSHALL, HUNTINGTON, WV) writes:


>born in the same litter.  Besides which I thought tortoiseshell was a
>cat that was predominantly dark whereas calico (or calicoat) referred 
>to a cat with a significant amount of white.

My dad and my wife both claim that my cat is 'tortoiseshell', but then they
were both born in England.  Fellow North Americans claim that it is
'calico'.  It's actually about 1/4 black, 1/4 white, 1/4 orange, and 1/4
greyish/stripey.  The last color is _not_ mixed black and white hairs, but
hairs that are various shades of grey along the length.  People tell me that
that color is called 'tabby', although it may be different in the UK.

-- 
Paul Tomblin, pt@geovision.gvc.com or {uunet,cognos,revcan}!geovision!pt
(This is not an official opinion of GeoVision Systems Inc.)
"A witty .signature proves nothing" - Voltaire (sort of)
From: farrell@ohstpy.mps.ohio-state.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: "Eat the Rich"
Date: 22 Jul 92 17:57:59 EDT

In message-ID: <54700@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, gfritz@sage.cc.purdue.edu 
("Happy Fun Ball") writes:
>I have this T-shirt.  It's solid black, and on the front there is a skull and
>crossbones (done in flat white).  Except where the bones should be, there is 
>a knife and fork instead.  Underneath is the phrase "Eat the rich".
...
>Geoff

Krokus, a German heavy metal group, had a song "Eat the Rich" on their 1983
album "Headhunter".  It got played on the radio a lot, at least in the 
LA area where I was a student at the time.

A fellow dorm resident was quite amused by the song.  I seem to recall that
he told me he had seen a movie of the same name.  That would indicate the
movie came out before the song.

Motorhead also has a song "Eat the Rich" which is different and was 
released in 1988, I think.

So why did they name a rock group after those little purple flowers?

Margie "Older than most people who listen to Heavy Metal" Farrell
From: "tom betz" <tom.betz@execnet.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: craig's day in court
Date: 21 Jul 92 01:24:02 EST
Reply-To: "tom betz" <tom.betz@execnet.com>
Distribution: alt
Organization: Executive Networks Information

DL>According to the today's Washington Post, Alexandria {VA} attorney
DL>Steven Zimmerman has out-Shergolded us mortal AFU types. He not only
DL>wrote to six bar groups [including The American Bar Association], he
DL>even included the clerk of the United States Supreme Court.

I have in my hands a copy of the "seven-year-old" "business cards" variant
of the Craig Shergold UL on World Wrestling Federation letterhead!

Anyone who would like to bombard them with mail should drop a line to:

Margaux E. Levy, Esq.
World Wrestling Federation
Titan Tower                   <--------(is >that< a joke!)
1241 East Main Street
PO Box 3857
Stamford, CT 06902

Phone 203-352-8600
Fax   203-352-8699  <-- I'll bet you always wanted the FAX number of the WWF!

---
  OLX 2.2  Some folks think a fertile mind requires a lot of dirt!
--
Executive Network Information System  (914) 667-4567
International ILink Host
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,comp.dcom.modems
From: jimf@centerline.com (Jim Frost)
Subject: Re: Modem tax back
Organization: CenterLine Software, Inc.
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 20:54:17 GMT

jackb@mdd.comm.mot.com (Jack Brindle) writes:
>In article <1992Jul20.191903.7530@acuson.com> lawson@aldia.UUCP (Drew Lawson) writes:
>>In article <1992Jul18.061630.25536@bang.uucp> bam%bang@trout.nosc.mil writes:
>>
>>>MEMBERS URGED TO FIGHT "MODEM FEE"
>>>
>>>  (16-Jul-92)
>    ^^^^^^^^^^^  Looks like a date to me...

>>>  A commissioner with the U.S. Federal Communications Commission (FCC) recently
>>									^^^^^^^^
>>
>>Oh, the trouble that could be saved if people would bother to put DATES
>>in these things when they create them.  At least it makes it easier to
>>detect bad data.

>The article appeared on Compuserve within the last week or so. According
>to the article and other info on that system, the FCC is thinking about
>it AGAIN. They went on to urge subscribers to AGAIN write their
>congressmen. The article also referred to the earlier attempt and discussed
>why it was abandoned and what is needed to cause that to happen again.

>Oh the trouble that could be saved if people would bother to READ things
>before they flame on them...

I read an article recently (within the last month or so) that the FCC
is again getting deluged with letters about this proposed fee.  The
FCC was asking people to stop sending them -- there is no such bill on
the table and (if I remember right) there hasn't been since around
1984.  With the breakup of Bell and the deregulation of telephone
equipment (and explosion of modems, FAXes, etc) it has become
impossible to even begin to enforce such a fee.

You might try calling the FCC to ask them and save us all a lot of tax
money.  I would quote the source of the article if I could, but I just
can't remember.

jim frost
jimf@centerline.com
From: huggins@dss1.austin.ibm.com (Jim Huggins         (8-8305))
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Vacation Time!
Keywords: Ditch Day, vanishing room
Date: 27 Jul 92 21:35:20 GMT
Organization: IBM, Austin

In article <1992Jul23.153526.5013@news.iastate.edu> glitto@iastate.edu (Scott M Klabacha) writes:
> (Art Nicolaysen) writes:
>>There is an annual "Ditch Day" held in late May, but the object is for
>>the frosh to solve elaborate puzzles left for them by the upper
>>classes.  These puzzles/obstacles/degrading feats are known as "stacks", 
>>after the ***old*** practice of stacking furniture against the door to 
>>keep the frosh out of one's room during Ditch Day.
>>
>>Every 3 years or so, the local papers rediscover Ditch Day and run an
>>article; has anybody seen these published outside of Southern California?

I remember reading an article in Reader's Digest about 10 (roughly) years
ago, giving an account of one such Ditch Day.  

Sorry -- can't give any more specifics than that ... don't have any
online Reader's Guides around here ...

-----
Jim Huggins
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: suopanki@zombie.oulu.fi (Heikki Suopanki)
Subject: Re: Chelsea Clinton Fan Club
Reply-To: suopanki@phoenix.oulu.fi
In-reply-to: ceb@dbrus.Unify.Com's message of 24 Jul 92 16:56:28 GMT
Organization: Unixverstas Olutensin, Finlandia
	<1992Jul23.021323.15196@news.eng.convex.com> <av6fbtv@Unify.Com>
Date: 26 Jul 92 16:03:10



Could someone post a pic of her to alt.binaries.pictures.erotica (or
tasteless maybe)?

-Heikki
--
Somebody mentioned to RMS that it's obscene to have an editor which is
larger than the kernel. RMS said he'd take care of it.
     ....now we have HURD.
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Left - Right
Date: 29 Jul 92 18:33:57 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA

rgm@cory.Berkeley.EDU (Rob Menke) writes:
: In article <1992Jul21.153809.26507@public.sub.org>
: peterk@public.sub.org (Peter Kittel) writes:
: 
: I've heard that if you get lost in a situation where it is impossible
: to determine a reference point for direction (such as a winter
: white-out or a desert), a person will go in circles because their
: dominant foot will move just a little bit farther than the other each
: step, so if you ever find yourself in such a situation, pretend your
: dominant foot is injured and limp.

I understood that it was because one leg was shorter than the other.
Regardless of the cause, it would be because one stride was shorter
than the other.

In the desert, it had better be in a sandstorm or heavily overcast day,
otherwise you have the sun for reference.

Bill
From: pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Montykins)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Date: 27 Jul 92 01:23:16 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <Bs0D2q.MKJ@hatch.socal.com> richg@hatch.socal.com (Rich Greenberg) writes:
>Unsaid is my suspicion that dentists would rather you not chew gum at all.
>

Actually, I've heard (from my dentist, oddly enough) that chewing
gum is a Good Thing from the standpoint of dental hygeine. It seems
that if you chew gum for thirty minutes after a meal, all them nasty
little plaque-monsters get wiped away! Or something.

 -Paul "Monty" Ashley
   (But if your dentist recommends a specific gum, do you have to
get the prescription brand? Is it bioequivalent?)
-- 
  "Windle shook his head sadly. Five      | pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu
exclamation marks, the sure sign of an    |  [Not a UCSD employee]
insane mind."                             |
     --Terry Pratchett, _Reaper Man_      |
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: richg@hatch.socal.com (Rich Greenberg)
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Organization: Hatch Usenet and E-mail.  Playa del Rey, CA
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 18:08:50 GMT

In article <1992Jul25.232457.22448@zip.eecs.umich.edu> stame@emunix.emich.edu (Stewart Tame) writes:
>In article <jimf.711923596@centerline.com> jimf@centerline.com (Jim Frost) writes:

>I seem to recall this one from Cecil Adams with regards to Trident gum.
>According to Cecil the fifth dentist "usually recommends no gum at all."
>Obviously Trident doesn't want to publicize this statistic . . . 

If you listen carefully to the trident ad, they say 4 out of 5 dentists
reccomend Trident FOR THOSE PATIENTS WHO CHEW GUM.

The way I read that is that if you MUST chew the stuff, 4/5 of the dentists
they asked say that Trident is better than other gums . . . . .
Unsaid is my suspicion that dentists would rather you not chew gum at all.
And nowhere is there any indication that they asked more than 5 dentists
the question  . . . 

-- 
                
Rich Greenberg - N6LRT - 310-649-0238 - richg@hatch.socal.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson)
Subject: Re: A Man, A Woman, A Bed, and Handcuffs (was Anyone heard this one?)
Reply-To: lawson@aldia.UUCP (Drew Lawson)
Organization: ACUSON, Mountain View, CA
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 18:08:20 GMT

In article <1992Jul26.204131.26076@athena.cs.uga.edu>
	jordan@castor.cs.uga.edu (Chuck Jordan) writes:
>What happens next?  She learns that she killed her husband as part of a
>snuff film?  An international letter-writing campaign is started?  ("There
>is a 12-year-old woman chained to a bed in a cabin out in the woods.  She
      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Does she have a PhD?

-- 
Drew Lawson                      If you're not part of the solution,
lawson@acuson.com                you're part of the precipitate