From: jgacker@news.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Subject: B&B:  Party Prelim
Organization: Goddard Space Flight Center
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 20:39:10 GMT



     Party-time update for the Christmas Holidays in the
Forrester mansion.

(Some dialogue was lost in the attempt to watch this here
episode.  I'll just have to improvise.)

     Tuesday on "The Bold and the Beautiful"

     I GUESS SHE DIDN'T EXPLODE, or
     LYNYRD SKYNYRD VISITS THORNE AND KAREN'S CONDO

     Karen and Thorne are ingesting mass quantities of
strawberry-flavored saturated dairy fat in the afterglow of
hours upon hours of absolute incredible intense lovemaking,
and Karen has not asked for the Gyne-Lotrimin yet!  Or even
the K-Y Jelly!  What a lubricious woman!  When first asked
where she ranked on the 1-10 scale, Thorne gave her a 12.
Karen thought she was more of a 4, or maybe a 6 for
attempting a 3 1/2 somersault with a full twist (a high
degree of difficulty).  Thorne notes that they've been in
bed for hours, and wonders if His Roommate is still working.
And the Pine-Tree Air Fresheners appear to have worn off.
Thorne tells Karen she was magnificent, and Karen gushes
forth (told you she was oily) with how easy it was, because
Thorne was a love god, an Adonis, Dionysian, and also
appeared to be using Energizer Batteries.  (They just keep
going, and going, and... oh well, you get the idea.)
Zounds!  Thorne says, we'll be late for the party!  They
arise from the sheets and realize a cleansing shower is the
order of the day before donning party attire.

     REACH OUT AND LOATH SOMEONE

     Brooke calls Taylor to talk to Ridge to find Eric.
Ridge is in the shower, too.  Brooke has lost Eric and now
she can't find him!  Taylor thinks maybe he might be getting
ready for the party, I mean panty raid, or is that pantry,
or even paltry meagers?  Brooke sees past Taylor's obvious
obfuscation and perceives that Steph's Hearts-to-Hearth
Party didn't have her on the guest list.  After hanging up,
Brooke fumes, steams, emits ash and gaseous effusions, has
an occasional pyroclastic flow, a couple of lava fountains,
and then decides to attend the party sans invitation, date,
and any modicum of propriety.  She calls the babysitter,
does her hair in a gorgeous cascade of iridescent blonde
curls as only the Brookester can, dons a red velvet dress,
bids adieu to the babysitter and heads off to create a real
scene at the mansion.  According to Brooke's soliliquoy,
Steph will either have her at the party or throw her out in
front of Eric and Ridge.  (Carried out is more likely --
Brooke's about the size of a light cruiser at this point.)

     PARTY TIME AROUND THE TANNENBAUM, HAVE SOME SPIKED
EGGNOG AND WEAR THESE RIDICULOUS CLOTHES

     Party highlights:

     Pre-party, Steph fills Ruth-Ann, the ex-bag lady, in on
the family relationships, most notably the up in the air
paternity question of Fetus Forrester ("Oh my!") and the up-
in-the-air background of Eric's new lady, Sheila.  Ruth Ann
thought the glow in Stephanie's cheeks was the result of
vigorous aerobic workouts of a lingual kind with a special
guy, but Steph confides she sampled the rum before testing
the eggnog, too.
     Steph greets Ridge and Taylor.  Taylor's black dress,
though sleeveless, understates the obvious.
     Steph greets Karen and Thorne.  Karen wears white
despite the fact that in a traditional sense, she's no
longer eligible.  Better hand over your Virgins Anon.
membership card, Karen.
     (Did you know that the girl with Lisa Simpson's voice
on "Herman's Head" went to a virgins support group?  How
quaint.  It was next door to a sex addicts group that Herman
attended with his friend.  End of digression.)
     Bill Spencer sneaks in to the party at some point.
Asks Karen what's up with Thorne?  Roughly on the half-hour,
Daddy-o, but she doesn't like his interloping on their
relationship.  She factually informs Dad that she and Thorne
are just wild about the wild thing.  Conservative Bill
furrows his brow.  Also, Bill had previously congratulated
Thorne on making his yearly decision before December 31.
     Stephanie tells MamamiaMaria Hands Off the Canapes and
Hors d'oeuvres!  She's to be partying and not catering
tonight!  MamamiaMaria takes off her apron and prepares to
get crazy.
     We had seen Sheila dressed in a ridiculous gold top and
fou-fou black skirt (improved by a cape), with Eric before
going to the party.  At the party, Sheila finds out about
the baby pow-wow that she wasn't invited to, and wants to
know why not.  Eric tells her it was for the family, those
who might be most affected by the advent of Fetus Forrester.
And I wouldn't be affectated?  she says.  Not in the same
way, Eric replies.  Are you worried?  NOT AT ALL, Eric,
because I've taken STEPS to insure that Brooke doesn't
THREATEN my personal life.  Eric is glad to hear it.  He
then lauds her for her selfless volunteerism at the
hospital.
     Taylor corners Steph and lets slip that she let slip to
Brooke that the party was tonight.  Steph goes into
conniptions, saying it'll be a Poseidon Adventure if Brooke
shows up.  Taylor looks darned worried, and thinks that sex
might take her mind off of it.
     On the balcony above the living room, Taylor and Brooke
exchange suggestive banalities while Ridge tastes Taylor's
triceps.  She says there's a full moon over the pool, and
dancing is available.  She'd like to see Ridge's full moon
(Actual Dialogue).  They head poolward.
     Steph is in the foyer when Brooke squeezes through the
double doors.  Steph goes hyperthyroid (bulging eyes,
foaming at the mouth, gains weight).  She asks Brooke why
she's there, what she's thinking, and that she wasn't
invited.  Brooke sings "We are Family".  Nonsense, Steph
says, just turn around and walk out.  Skeedaddle.  Exeunt.
Leave.  Split.  Make tracks.  Go back to where you came
from.  High-tail it.  Scram.  Get a move on.  Get out of my
sight.  Retreat.  Reverse.  Blow the pop stand.  Move it or
lose it.  Retire.  Sayonara.  Adios, amiga.
     Brooke asks if Stephanie wants her to leave?
     Yeah.  Or she will be removed forcibly.
     You'll throw me out in front of Ridge and Eric?  Why
don't we put it to a vote?  (A.D.)
     So you're not leaving?
     In answer, Brooke checks her coat and gloves.  They
grimly face each other.  At this particular moment, they're
both in the same weight class, and the gloves are off!

     Tune in tomorrow, when MamamiaMaria excitedly says:

     "Ooh, don't you just love these rum balls!"

     Jim "party animal" Acker  (definitely a 10)
     jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov

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