From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: Men's Cologne and Other Proof of Satan's Existence
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 20:59:58 GMT

   I went to one of those "Dress For Success" seminars when I was in a
   more customer-service oriented job here at work (when I worked for the
   computing department).  They show you what looks like hell and what
   doesn't.  Polyester with four-inch lapels looks like hell.

Polyester looks like hell in any style, except early Devo.

The simple rule about fabrics, materials, and textures is: what was once
alive is always more classy than what wasn't. Wool. Silk. Cotton. Not nylon.

The peck order among executives is revealed easily not only by their
dress, but also the material their desk is made out of. The highest rating
goes to TEAK wood (association with decks of sailing vessels). American
black walnut beats out oak, which beats out pine which beats out ANY
non-organic material. And, of course, an authentic wood top is always more
classy than a plastic imitation of one, regardless of the rest of the desk.

There's a good short book around called Class (can't recall the author)
which talks about such things, in a very interesting fashion.

   One big area that they spent much time on was the area of perfumes,
   colognes, and similar scents.  They spent all of two minutes on it,
   long enough to say "DON'T WEAR ANY!"  Deodorant/anti-perspirant is
   a must, but nothing more.  It is considered inconsiderate to splash
   on Eu de Stench, because even though you just LOVE the smell of it
   and you're sure the rest of us do, too, we really don't like the
   smell of it.

Now, here's where I think I would differ a little. While I'll agree that
you won't find many successful businessmen wearing Hai Karate (nor many 
"successful" foolish younger men either I suspect), you might be surprised
to find them wearing Mennen Skin Bracer or Old Spice (yes, the shit that's
sailed the ocean!), not cologne, but aftershave. It takes a *man* to wear
such "old man" smells, of course (the point). And, of course, the smell
fades quickly. Like any real *man* would want.

   Damn near choked to death on the trains and buses in Europe because
   of the smells.  Many times I felt near vomitus.

I can deal with the smell of sweat. It's that toe jam stink I can't take.

A smell I don't like is Gillete Right Guard (in the regular original
scent). To me it smells like sweat already. And, I had this suite-mate
in college, who used it as "instant shower", as he called it. He put on
his shirt of three days, with the armpits rotting out, and proceeded to
drench the armpits with Right Guard, sprayed on the outside of the shirt.
Instant shower. Rotten.

We used to get revenge on the guy, though. Take his Right Guard can and
spray it into his room at Alumni Avenue, while holding the spray over a
lighter. It makes some blow torch! But worse, it makes an acrid
chemical-ly stink that last for days.

L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
The first time I had sex, I was terrified. I was alone..