From: mhardy@nyx.cs.du.edu (Matthew Hardy)
Subject: The seven ages of (a dirty old) man #2
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 92 11:46:59 GMT


Well I've had one person say it was alright so I'll start posting the rest.
Here come the schoolboy. Those of you in England who watch the Mary
Whitehouse experience may think I ripped this one off. You're right but not
off of the four great ones. This actually happened to a friend of mine so
if anyone wants to get sued its them for stealing their material from real
life.

Oh and as usual.. this amy be a touch offensive.. sorry to all those with
strict religious upbringings etc. but I'm sure the rest of us normal people
will enjoy it.
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The seven ages of (a dirty old) man #2

The school boy

I supose you all remember what I was like when you first discovered wanking.
I know I was trying to break all records. Whenever the opportunity came to me
there I was locked in the bathroom with the lingerie pages of some mail order
catalogue. Well one day my parents were out, and i was in the shower. The hot
water beating down on my body. Well its only natural to just remove the
shower head from the bracket and reposition the jet. My mind started to wander
and as it usually did it wander to that pile of literature under the mattress.
Why is it that kids in their early teens keep their pseudo porn there? I mean
its where every mother looks. Maybe the have some sort of oedipuss complex
and secretly want their mum to know that they are now sexually aware. Or maybe
its just more convenient for wanking yourself to sleep. I think the latter is
more likely as my mother was and is a fat bitch: I'd prefer to fuck a 
rottweiller. Anyway as my mind wandered under the matress my hands wandered
elsewhere and soon. The matress was upheaved and there in pride of place was
my first ever genuine adults only porno mag. I'd found it in a public toilet
only a few weeks ago and to an eleven year old it was worth its weight in
bubble gum cards. The pages that weren't stuck together were few and far
between (even fewer than when I first found it) but with headphones on I lay
back on the duvet and summoned the pleasures of  Mrs Palm and her five lovely
daughters. Soon the added visual stimulus was unneccessary and with eyes
closed and a blissful smile on my face my fantasies surged from my mind down
to where they belonged.. the cock. With my parents out shopping and the house
this was to be no five minute wonder. With my recently discovered powers of
seminal retention i was able to bring myself to the brink a good half a dozen
times before the big finale. Its usual after a big wank for the world to seem
a little bit different. Well for a start I thought I had left the door open
in my hurry and wasn't that a freshly made steaming hot cup of tea beside me?

  'Hi mum.. back already?'
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__             If I knew anyone with opinion I'd dissagree with them.    
|_) _ |_ |_ .|_ 
| \(_||_)|_)|| aka Matt... You know what they say: an abrupt .sig means a big 
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