From: eset08@castle.ed.ac.uk (J Strobridge)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Oh Roof!
Date: 31 Aug 92 19:22:50 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Edinburgh University

I swear it - one of the worst sounds you can hear when you come into
your house and close the door behind you is the sound of raindrops
falling.   This is mainly because the last place you should be able to
hear them falling is *inside* your house.   This, after all, is the main
reason for having a roof.

So.   I heard this delightful sound the other night coming in latish
and wettish having survived a couple of torrential downpours only by hiding
under a large sheet of polythene.   Maybe, I thought, it wasn't as bad
as it sounded.    It was.     A line of silver drops spread themselves
neatly out along a ceiling joist and skipped merrily downwards at 32ft
per second in their enthusiasm to join all their friends in their
intention to turn my hallway into an indoor swimming pool.    It would
have looked very pretty outside - only it wasn't outside....

So - stalling supper it seemed better to see what exactly was wrong.  
Now there is a scale of disaster from about 1-10 ranging on your
immediate emotive response when you first look at the situation.   1 is
"it's not that bad" and 10 is "Oh God.  Help!"  (except that he's very
rarely around just at that point).   This one rated about 8-9 on that
scale! "Bloody hell, I've got to do something quick - but what!"

Edinburgh tenement houses usually have two pitched roofs - one covering
the front rooms and one covering the back with a valley between them.  
The rainwater from the valley is drained to the back of the house by a
single pipe running through the width of the attic.  This pipe
occasionally gets blocked.   It was blocked now.   The water was sitting
quietly and calmly in the valley - about 6 inches in depth - lapping
gently at the underside of the tiles and about to flood into the whole
roof space.    

It actually resembled a miniature fishpond having a certain serene
tranquility as the ripples blew gently across the surface - it just
happened to be the wrong place!   

Have you ever noticed seagulls laugh at you.   A group of them were
sitting on the chimney pots going hysterical.    So a quick ten buckets
of bailed water later it was time to get down to unblocking.

Problem 1)   Edinburgh building stone.  It's sandstone.   It decays,
yes, into sand.   Lots of it - mixed with soot.   Yeaaagh

Problem 2)   The drain is about 20 ft. long.   It was blocked about half
way along.   I don't have a 10 ft. reach 8-(((

This made the next hour and a half very interesting in a desperate
attempt to find something long enough to reach down but not too long
that it got stuck between the two roofs and wouldn't go into the hole.  

!peeve - I never throw anything away!    Now I know why!   Invention
time - a hollow steel rod, a teaspoon, a piece of wire, a lot of tape
and eventually I was standing there considerably wetter than the roof!

This was a relief.   

Gathering everything together and standing in the quiet of the roofspace
I listened to make sure that all was well and heard "drip" "drip" "drip".
No nonononono.....

But - it was me.   Everything I stood there in was soaked and I 
was gently dripping onto the boards round about.

Sheest!    To hell with supper.   BATH - and all the clothes too!

Why does life has this nasty habit of sneaking up on you and doing
something downright mean - just when you are not paying proper
attention  8-(((

jill