HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: owen@autodesk.com (D. Owen Rowley)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: A bad coming out story?
Keywords: help!
Date: 11 Jan 93 19:47:52 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.210920.1280@midway.uchicago.edu>, kolt@quads.uchicago.edu (Matt K/Gonzo) writes:
> I have a friend who works for the same company I do. Her son goes to the
> same high school I went to. She made it clear that the son is having
> trouble with a teacher whom I had. One thing leads to another and I offer 
> to tutor the son. I meet him (he is 15; I'm 19). We get along quite well,
> and I think the tutoring will go well. When I talk to his mother after 
> we're done, I come out to her, by way of some anecdotes about how hard it 
> can be to live with a roommate (another story completely). It was sorta
> awkward.
> Anyway, she and I had lunch today and she said to me, after an hour's 
> worth of other conversation, "Don't discuss lifestyles with Jay." I 
> quickly respond, "Oh no. We've got way too much work to do." And she 
> follows with "Good. Because he's still innocent. And I'd like to keep 
> it that way."
> This is from a really liberal person who I'm sure doesn't consider 
> herself phobic at all. I'm sure she doesn't see her p-o-v as being
> the same hoping-to-sweeep-it-under-the-carpet thing that so many liberal
> type people are guilty of.
> Can anyone recommend howI should handle the situation?




This kind of fear she is feeling sounds to me to be on the low side of the 
*normal* level of institutionalised homophobia. If she had turned around and
fired you from the *job* that would  signify homophobia, but her 
response is probably realistic given the current social climate.

I think you should just proceed as planned, and keep your personal life
out of the situation. More than likely he's not as innocent as she thinks,
but thats their relationship and as such their business.

You have the opportunity to educate both of them in the process.
Good luck 

LUX ./. owen





--
D. Owen Rowley {uunet,fernwood,sun}!autodesk!owen, owen@autodesk.com
[ EU-PHORIA: A STATE OF WELL BEING ]
Euphoria is my natural state, I do what I enjoy and an abundance 
of all good fortune comes to me for it.
From: rjwill6@PacBell.COM (Rod Williams)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Bar etiquette
Date: 4 Jan 93 19:25:15 GMT
Organization: Pacific * Bell, San Ramon, California

> nelson@reed.edu (Nelson Minar) writes:

>It works great in coffee shops, although I've never tried to meet a
>sexual interest this way. [bonus question - why aren't there ever
>coffee shops where the intent is for you to meet other queer people?]
>The ones I know that tried have all failed. Is booze necessary?

I'm trying to think of a cafe in SF where queer people
*don't* meet, whatever the intent... :-)
-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
rod williams -=- pacific bell -=- san ramon, ca -=- rjwill6@pacbell.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jns@elea.umd.edu (J. N. Shaumeyer)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: dressing up
Date: 6 Jan 93 19:06:35 GMT
Organization: Militant Homosexual Lobby, Gay Lifestyles, Inc.


Bob Donahue (rdonahue@spdcc.com) considers 
the benefits of being Minnie Mouse:
 
> 	I've had the same fantasy (dressing up as a character),
> but I always wanted to be Minnie...  I mean --- I'd get to grab
> any hetersexual furry daddy and make him dance with me!  :-)
> Actaully I culd make any of the characters play into my hands... :-)

Seems to me that it would be preferable to have
the furry daddy play into your hands....

--jns
From: adolphso@mizar.usc.edu (adolphson)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Dissertation on soc.motss (PLEASE READ)
Date: 10 Jan 1993 19:47:46 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: mizar.usc.edu

In article <1993Jan11.032716.9629@macc.wisc.edu> 
anderson@macc.wisc.edu (Jess Anderson) writes:
> In article <1iqoamINN2d8@mizar.usc.edu>
> adolphso@mizar.usc.edu (adolphson) writes:
> >In article <1993Jan7.135645.27974@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> 
> >dyarman@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Donald L Yarman) writes:
[ ... ]
> >> What problems arise with the difficulties of
> >> marking irony in computer-mediated communication?
>
> >Oh, I think a current thread makes clear the kinds of problems
> >that arise.  I refuse to mark irony with smileyfaces.  If
> >someone doesn't understand that virtually everything I write 
> >here is meant ironically, then no amount of smileyheads will
> >make any difference.
>
> Don will probably want to include something on recidivists
> who refuse to get with the program, huh?

But of course.

> Besides, Shirley, you can't mean the current thread to which
> you refer *is* a problem or that it arose, unless you mean
> rising as in gorge.

I suppose you're right.  In any case, it's not *my* problem,
since I don't recognize myself in it.  It really does seem
to me that an Arne who posts to a soc.motss in an alternate 
universe is under attack.  Anyway, He Who Is Attacking is,
among other things, irony-impaired, and nothing short of my
Godzilla-sized smileyheads would register in his dim little
brain.

Arne (dozing during that thread; do wake me when it's over)
From: kc2@doc.ic.ac.uk (K Campbell)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Where's those piccies, then?
Followup-To: soc.motss
Date: 11 Jan 1993 15:34:03 -0000
Organization: Department of Computing, Imperial College, University of London, UK.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: oak48.doc.ic.ac.uk



In a recent article in soc.motss, someone mentioned (in relation
to out beloved C.C., admittedly, but that's not important) a soc.
motss picture file of some sort.  What is it?  Where is it?  How
can I get to it?  Does it have digitised stills from Jeff Stryker
films?  (woops! getting a bit carried away now :)

Help, anyone?


        ################################################################
        ##  Kenny Campbell         ______     If at first you don't   ##
        ##  Imperial College       \    /     succeed, failure might  ##
        ##  London                  \  /      be your style.          ##
        ##  kc2@doc.ic.ac.uk         \/                 Quentin Crisp ##
        ################################################################
From: adolphso@mizar.usc.edu (adolphson)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Bar etiquette
Date: 9 Jan 93 01:34:03 GMT
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: mizar.usc.edu

I was looking for another article and came across this one,
from a week ago.  I don't know if it's been answered or not,
but here goes:

In article <1993Jan3.062520.3441@reed.edu> 
nelson@reed.edu (Nelson Minar) writes:

> But I've never seen a person with a book
> in a bar, and aren't most bars too dark anyway?

I rarely go anywhere without bringing along something 
to read.  When I go to bars (which I almost never do
these days) or to gay restaurants by myself, I *always*
have something to read with me.  And I actually do read
what I've brought along.  Sure it looks peculiar, and
it does invite comment, but I haven't yet had someone
who continued the conversation after hearing my answer
to the question "Hey, what are you reading?"  (Because
my answer is usually soemthing like "The Complete Poems
of Robert Herrick" or "The Bacchae" or "Sophonisba"
or short stories by Robert Walser.)

Yes, some bars are just too dark to read in, although
I've been known to read even at Spike.

> It works great in coffee shops, although I've never tried to meet a
> sexual interest this way. [bonus question - why aren't there ever
> coffee shops where the intent is for you to meet other queer people?]
> The ones I know that tried have all failed. Is booze necessary?

There are a couple of coffee house type places in Boys'
Town that are thriving. 

> One thing I've been doing while in Houston is spending some time at a
> bar here called "the Briar Patch". It's a neat place: there's a piano
> that people are singing along too, mostly older men, very warm and
> friendly.

Heavens, it sounds just like the Frog Pond in Silverlake.
My ex used to love a bar in New York, the name of which
eludes me at the moment, whose piano bar on the second or
third floor was presided over by a drag queen who knew
every song ever written.

Arne
From: snodgras@lclark.edu (Bil Snodgrass)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: tearoom sex and bathroom police
Date: 12 Jan 93 12:32:14 GMT
Article-I.D.: lclark.1993Jan12.123214.22351
Distribution: soc
Organization: Lewis & Clark College, Portland OR

In article <1993Jan12.111353.16313@macc.wisc.edu> anderson@macc.wisc.edu (Jess Anderson) writes:
>In article <1993Jan12.075727.19300@lclark.edu>
>snodgras@lclark.edu (Bil Snodgrass) writes:
>
>>Before the Portland Police Department
>>started a crack down on one of our parks a leak occured and the gay 
>>community was alerted to what would be happening.  So we protected
>>the people in the parks and we protect ourselves from some bad p.r.
>
>In a free society you would not need "protection" from law
>enforcement.  In a free society, sex in park toilets would
>not be a public-relations issue.


Very true!  But I know of no such free society.......Ah, I do remember
talk about one when I was a kid growing up.  But it was just a myth like
Santa Claus........

Bil Snodgrass

>
>-- 
>[Jess Anderson <> Madison Academic Computing Center <> University of Wisconsin]
>[Internet: anderson@macc.wisc.edu <-best, UUCP:{}!uwvax!macc.wisc.edu!anderson]
>[Room 3130 <> 1210 West Dayton Street / Madison WI 53706 <> Phone 608/262-5888]
>[---------> Discrimination, Bigotry, and Hate are not Family Values <---------]
From: rainbow@qiclab.scn.rain.com (Donita Thompson)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Scents...
Date: 8 Jan 93 22:58:35 GMT
Article-I.D.: qiclab.1993Jan8.225835.3112
Distribution: pnw
Organization: SCN Research/Qic Laboratories of Tigard, Oregon.

My favorite (forever and always)..... patchouli.




--
From: thaaang@cwis.unomaha.edu (John Dorrance)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Bar etiquette
Date: 7 Jan 93 08:35:13 GMT
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha

tim@ear-ache.mit.edu (Tim Wilson) writes:

>Shuddered?  With delight.  Krispy Kremes (I misspelled it the first
>time)

Oh, well that's just *worlds* better...

--
thaaang@cwis.unomaha.edu * John Dorrance * Disco Diva y Flamenco Chico
      You would be surprised at what resides in your insides.
	  S7/9 g++l+(+)y++z++/--(++!!!)o+(+)x+a++uv(++)j+
Newsgroups: soc.motss
From: solovay@netcom.com (Andrew Solovay)
Subject: Re: Gay-bashing (was: Re: Private...)
Summary: Flamebait ahoy
Organization: Free Faerie Front
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 21:24:16 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.202826.8388@cs.brown.edu> atropos@netlab.cis.brown.edu (David O'Donnell) writes:
>
>	A few years ago, my boyfriend and I had epithets yelled at us as we 
>walked to a movie theatre. That is gay-bashing. Workers calling someing a
>"fucking faggot" is bashing. I think it *is* something done by the majority
>of non-{gay/bi/lesbian} people, though many of them may not be specifically
>aware that they are doing so. We've been brought up believing all sorts of
>totally untrue things about gay men, lesbians and bisexuals and people
>mindlessly repeat them every day.

I heartily disagree. I think using "gay-bashing" to mean "anything
unpleasant bigoted straights might do to gays" weakens the term and
robs it of much of its impact. If the term were to become used in this
way, such that this became its accepted meaning, then people would
tune it out; they'd think, "Well, I've had insults yelled at me, and I
could cope."

Gays, unlike almost every other persecuted minority, are regularly
sought out and beaten simply for existing. (e.g. Klansmen might beat
blacks for getting "out of line", or going into the wrong
neighborhood, but they don't make a habit of going into black
neighborhoods to look for blacks to beat; whereas gay-bashers
routinely go into gay areas to find gays.) We ought to reserve a term
like "gay-bashing" for these violent crimes.

This, to me, is much like the way the term "hate crime" as been
weakened. "Hate crime" is now routinely used to describe things that
are not crimes at all (e.g. burning a cross on one's own property,
yelling epithets). This only weakens the term, since it has lost its
original, literal meaning, i.e. "a crime motivated by hatred".
-- 
Andrew Solovay    

"I is not now, nor has I ever been, a Human Bein'!"
                ---Pogo Possum
Newsgroups: soc.motss
From: anderson@macc.wisc.edu (Jess Anderson)
Subject: Re: For a limited time only
Organization: Madison Academic Computing Center, UW-Madison
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 93 04:13:12 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.210205.16340@osf.org>
coren@speed.osf.org (Robert Coren) writes:

>In article <1993Jan5.172934.5606@tc.cornell.edu>,
>shore@dinah.tc.cornell.edu (Melinda Shore) writes:

>> Say, what is it with Canada and polka dancing?  My childhood
>> memories of Canadian television is polka shows and hockey
>> games, and changing the channel to pick up Buffalo stations
>> as soon as my grandparents left the room.

>Which were the buffaloes doing, playing hockey or dancing the polka?

Really, Robert, you have to work harder than that if you
expect to keep up with the times!  They were watching
television, obviously.


-- 
[Jess Anderson <> Madison Academic Computing Center <> University of Wisconsin]
[Internet: anderson@macc.wisc.edu <-best, UUCP:{}!uwvax!macc.wisc.edu!anderson]
[Room 3130 <> 1210 West Dayton Street / Madison WI 53706 <> Phone 608/262-5888]
[---------> Discrimination, Bigotry, and Hate are not Family Values <---------]
From: corwin+@CMU.EDU (Scott Safier)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: a eulogy
Date: 12 Jan 93 13:34:49 GMT
Article-I.D.: MORPHEUS.CORWIN+.93Jan12083449
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon University
Originator: scotts@MORPHEUS.CIMDS.RI.CMU.EDU

Last night my buddy(*) died from complications of HIV.  He would have
been 37 on February 1.  My buddy was a special person who always put
the concerns of his mother and sister ahead of his own. Although he
was very sick during the 18 months that I knew him, the love between
his mother and my buddy is something I will not soon forget.

My buddy was diagnosed with AIDS in 1987.  He was always afraid of
dying, which might explain how he survived 6 years and diseases such
as candida, pneumonia, MAI, CMV and a host of others.  I can recall
long nights in the hospital when the pain of these illnesses was too
much for him, and his screams could be heard throughout the corridors.
I can recall the fear he had of the pain caused by the medical
procedures which extended his life.  During the last couple months of
his life, the person that was my buddy faded into incoherence.  All we
his care-givers could do was try and make him comfortable, which I hope
we did.

During the time I knew him, my buddy spoke often of wanting to return
to his friends and job in Washington, DC.  He wanted to return to
AmTrak, where he worked as a porter.  Over time, as it became clear
to him he could never return to that job, he spoke of other work
AmTrak could give him.  He spoke of wanting to live until the next
century, and surviving until a time when a cure could be found.  These
wishes kept him going.

During the time I knew him, my buddy was hospitalized more than not.
Hospital workers told his relatives to prepare for his death countless
times, only to see my buddy bounce back and be released from the
hospital.  However, each hospital visit, every extended stay which
lasted weeks or months, sapped my buddy's strength.  My buddy always
feared the pain, and in the end, he was painfree.  But the disease
robbed him of his dignity.  He could not talk.  He was blind.  He
required assistance to aid his breathing (although he was not on a
respirator).  His mother and his sister did not sleep for days, trying
to make him more comfortable.  Although they fought it, they finally
accepted the reality that he would not be coming home from the
hospital this time.

I will miss my buddy.  He was a good person.

Scott A. Safier

(*) I use the term "buddy" to protect the confidentiality of my
friend and his family.
From: carlson@ab24.larc.nasa.gov (Ann Carlson)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Military Policies on Gays in other countries?
Date: 11 Jan 1993 16:14:40 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center, Hampton, VA  USA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: ab24.larc.nasa.gov

I hope some of you who have the requisite knowledge will help me
write a rebuttal to a letter in our newspaper today.  The letter 
writer says that our country will be an international laughing-stock 
if we allow gays to serve in the military.  He apparently isn't aware
that most other countries do not have such a ban, and that several
who did are ahead of us in already lifting the ban.  I would like
to have some detailed information before I write a rebuttal.
I'm interested in knowing which countries have never had a ban
on gays in the military.  Also, in which countries have had a ban
which has since been lifted, and the date when the ban was lifted.

-- 



*************************************************      
*Dr. Ann B. Carlson (a.b.carlson@larc.nasa.gov) *       O .
*MS 366                                         *         o  _///_ //
*NASA Langley Research Center                   *          <`)=  _<<
*Hampton, VA 23681-0001                         *             \\\  \\
*************************************************
Newsgroups: soc.motss
From: anderson@macc.wisc.edu (Jess Anderson)
Subject: Re: Nominations for best men's colognes
Organization: Madison Academic Computing Center, UW-Madison
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 93 17:00:38 GMT

In article <6JAN93.15575350@enh.nist.gov>
aberson@enh.nist.gov writes:

>Surely you're not suggesting that because you had enough of it a few 
>decades ago, those of us younger should do without to spare you again.

Shirley, that's exactly what I'm suggesting.  We don't have
smallpox any more, either, so I think we should just
eliminate patchouli once for all.

>I've tried many of the others, but they just don't compare to the heavenly
>scent of patchouli, at least on me.  So patchouli it is, as long as it
>is cool enough to feel comfortable, a rare occasion indeed (It's only
>82F today).

With very great difficulty I could overlook the parchese, I
mean patchouli, but I protest this reporting of divine
weather from the lower climes!  It's a form of torment,
especially since I'm being made cross (and you *know* how
rare that is!) by an encounter with that affliction youth
gets all the time and age gets but seldom, the common cold.

>BTW, what is "cul merdatre?"  None of our library's handy-dandy French 

Shittyish asshole, approximately.

>dictionaries (the most recent 1951 - this is the federal gov't) had any 
>mention.

Governments don't talk like that -- in public.

-- 
[Jess Anderson <> Madison Academic Computing Center <> University of Wisconsin]
[Internet: anderson@macc.wisc.edu <-best, UUCP:{}!uwvax!macc.wisc.edu!anderson]
[Room 3130 <> 1210 West Dayton Street / Madison WI 53706 <> Phone 608/262-5888]
[---------> Discrimination, Bigotry, and Hate are not Family Values <---------]
Newsgroups: soc.motss
From: brown@NCoast.ORG (Stan Brown)
Subject: Film:  {Peter's Friends}
Organization: Oak Road Systems, Cleveland Ohio USA
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 17:24:26 GMT

If you go to see {The Crying Game} -- and you should -- you're probably
part of the logical target audience for {Peter's Friends}.  This is a
must-see movie...NOT.

On the way in with my movie group, I said, "I have a hunch that this is
going to be one of those movies where we've already seen all the good
parts in the trailers."  And I was right.

I'd recommend it only at matinee prices, on a rainy afternoon, if you
hadn't seen any of the trailers.
-- 
Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems                      brown@Ncoast.ORG
Cleveland, Ohio, USA

"Life!  Don't talk to me about life!"
Newsgroups: soc.motss
From: TMCCART3@ua1vm.ua.edu (Tracey McCartney)
Subject: Re: Pride rings going mainstream? (was Re: Pride Ring Colours...
Organization: Home of the @&#^%$* Crimson Tide
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 05:04:15 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.042052.16977@nwnexus.WA.COM>
elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg) writes:
 
>In article <16B4FD6FE.TMCCART3@ua1vm.ua.edu>
>     TMCCART3@ua1vm.ua.edu (Tracey McCartney) writes:
>
>>Here in good ol' Tuscaloosa, AL., you can get pride rings at a place called
>>Claire's Boutique, one of a chain of costume-jewelry outfits at shopping
>>malls everywhere. I understand that one of the veejays on MTV has begun
>>wearing them on the air, and they've become sort of a mainstream fad.
>
>   Nothing wrong with that; the pink triangle is still unique; I've yet
>to see even an ally wearing one.  The black triangle too.  Actually, I
 
I've seen the black triangles, but I must admit I don't really know their
significance. Are they just a variation on the pink one, or is there
more to it than that? The necklace in the Shocking Gray catalog is
pretty cool looking...
 
>saw a way cool pin the other day... it was a BIG accessory pin, the
>huge ugly kind worn usually by office-bound women in larger cities.  It
>had a small LCD screen that flashed, alternately, a black triangle, a
>battleaxe, and the interlocking venus-venus symbol.
 
That *is* way cool...
 
>>So do this: If you ever spot someone wearing the rings, make it a point to
>>thank them for showing their gay pride. I'll bet that more and more
>>frequently the response you'll get will be shock and embarrassment.
>
>   I'm sure my friend's eight-year-old daughter, who *does* know what
>they mean, will hardly be shocked and embarassed.  Also, said MTV
>veejay has also been seen on-air wearing "Homophobia is a social
>disease" and "Some of my best friends are straight" t-shirts.
 
I'm not saying that *all* motos who wear the rings will be ignorant
of their motss significance. I am saying that as the fad gets further
from its source, the meaning will be lost, and that's a damned shame.
I liked having a very tangible symbol of diversity, and now I fear
it will be trivialized by young videoheads looking to make a fashion
statement rather than a political one. And is said veejay gay? Just
a question of curiosity; I'm happy to see him wearing whatever
gay-supportive t-shirts he wants...
 
Tracey
From: nelson@reed.edu (Nelson Minar)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Arne Adolphson, Moron At Large
Date: 9 Jan 93 10:16:03 GMT
Article-I.D.: reed.1993Jan9.101603.26228
Reply-To: nelson@reed.edu (Nelson Minar)
Organization: Reed College, Portland, OR

In article <1993Jan9.050027.12385@macc.wisc.edu> anderson@macc.wisc.edu (Jess Anderson) writes:
>It's looking for all the world like a contest to have the last word.

but isn't it just great listening to George tell the world how much he
dislikes someone else?  It's more entertaining than Hu and Cr*m*r
rolled into one.

I can't decide if I want to be a *queen* or not. Am I a 1 or a 0?
                __
nelson@reed.edu \/   You're free, so anything could happen, so happy birthday
Newsgroups: soc.motss
From: paul@psych.toronto.edu (Paul Hastings)
Subject: Re: Nominations for best men's colognes
Organization: Department of Psychology, University of Toronto
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 22:27:25 GMT

In article <18308@autodesk.COM> mickw@autodesk.com (Mick Washbrook) writes:
>In article <1993Jan6.114002.10153@macc.wisc.edu>, anderson@macc.wisc.edu (Jess Anderson) writes:
>> In article <72990@cup.portal.com> Furr@cup.portal.com
>> (George Dalton Madison) writes:
>> 
>> >and you can make yourself
>> >something totally unique.
>> 
>> Not more uniquer yet?
>
>Or the uniquest????
>
Wouldn't that be 'most unique'?

-paul

-- 
Blew Biyou     S6 b++ g l y+ z+ n+ o+ x+ a-u v+ j+
"Our Father makes art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."