From: HF.TXG@forsythe.stanford.edu (TJ)
Subject: Re: Stereotypes? Objectifying? thoughts..
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 21:01:32 GMT

In article <76730@ut-emx.uucp>,
jodybean@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (zaphod-) writes:
>
>So here's the questions that I sort of wonder about:
>  1) How much does our past influence our decisions on the present?

I would say that our past influences our decisions quite a bit in
the present ... aaannnddd I would further venture to say that it is
mostly a subconcious thing.

>  2) What are some good ways of breaking out of this objectifying/stereotyping
>     that I sometimes fall prey to.. how can I tune my mind and way of living,
>     so that I stop seeing the differences as things which get in the way of
>     better understanding?

Do you really think it's necessary? I mean, You will eventually have
an intimate (or otherwise) relationship with any number of people
and they may or may not be different from the object that you have
in your mind of the 'perfect' woman for you. I had this picture in
my mind (and in some ways still do) when I was younger. As time
trips on however, I found that I have had relationships with many
different types of people, for many different reasons. I don't think
this 'objectifying' is really something that needs worrying about. I
guess the basic fact it, when you're ready for any type of
relationship with someone, you will have one, regardless of this
persons looks, etc.

>  3) At one point in this walk, I thought, "Gawd, life would be so much better
>     if I didn't even know the information to begin with, that is I was
>deprived
>     of all senses."   What do you think of this thought?

It sounds boring and tasteless.

>  4) I have yet to have sex, I doubt I'll make it a point to try to have
>it, and
>     right now I'm not too concerned about that standing.  However, should the
>     situation ever arise.. when do I pursue it..?   Obviously, I think
>I should
>     wait until I find someone who agrees with my view, or at least make sure
>     they fully understand that view before doing anything [and I should also
>     clarify what that view is sometime soon and always make sure it's still
>     clear in my mind after that], but how can I tell that they understand that
>     view, and *don't* subconsciously associate their view of it onto what they
>     think my thoughts on it are, especially after the fact if it happens?
>       My view sort of being explained way back at the beginning of this, btw.

I don't think that you can be sure of someone else's views ... I've
been on both sides of that fence and I've discovered one thing -
you can't read the other person's mind and you can't prevent them
or yourself from changing opinions/feelings/thoughts. You just have
to open and honest and try your damndest to make things work and not
hurt one another and just enjoy it.
>
>jodybean@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu
>"How much of our lives is just idle conversation?" -- bean thought # 11
>
And there you have _my_ thoughts on the matter. Please bare in mind
that they come from a fairly psychotic mind (being a Leo and a Virgo
will do that to you) but I think I'm fairly accurate - at least as
far as my experiences have taught me.

TJ
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