From: gdkg1346@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Gautham D. Kamath)
Subject: Re: OFWM / OMWF survey
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 05:54:10 GMT

bs42408@yorick.umd.edu (Bryan Lee) writes:


>                         SURVEY
>Maybe it's just my imagination or maybe it's real but it seems
>like there are many more Oriental (meaning East-Asian) Female-
>White Male couples than there are Oriental Male-White Female
>couples.  Has anyone else noticed this trend?  Anyone have any
>idea what might be causing such a disparity?  I myself am
>completely supportive of interracial relationships, but it seems
>strange that it should be more common one way than the other.

Yes I have noticed that also. And this one way-ness is not limited
to East Asians (I guess Oriental is now politically incorrect.
Soon East Asian will be also and the new term will be People of
the Orient (sort of like people of color (gee lets see how many
parantheses I can nest on this tangent (hey this is sort of like
Lisp)))). I am a second generation Indian male. I have noticed that on
campus a lot of second generation Indian females go out with
white males. The reverse is not true. And I know that bothers a
lot of you Indian guys out there....don't lie...many of you know
its true.
    There are two reasons as far as I can tell for this gender
disparity in white-asian relationships

1) Asian women usually have the stereotype of being exotic and
submissive, which is usually a trait that many men like, unfortunately.
On the other hand the stereotype of Asian men is usually that of
being geeks and sort of passive. Passivity is not considered a 
masculine trait.

2) In fact Asian men are less aggressive than their white counterparts.
   You've got to be in the game to win it. Most don't really try hard
   enough to attract women of other races. Hell they don't even try
   properly to attract women of their own race...well at least I know
   that about my fellow Indian males. 

   I do have an SO who happens to be white and we have discussed this
problem many times. She traveled abroad to Hong Kong, Thailand, Japan,
etc for more than two years and she would get irritated anytime she
saw a white male with an Asian. She felt that the only reason
he would be going out with her was to use her as as LBFM (little brown
fucking machine). Her term, not mine. The Non-oriental male could
make her do submissive stuff that an American woman would not put
up with or the Non-Oriental man was too much of a loser that woman of
his own race wouldn't go out with. I basically agreed with her, though
I had an arguement with on this point: why is it that when a man and
woman have sex, it is always the man using or exploiting the woman??
After all, on her trip she had sex with men in all different countries
while maintaing a relationship with a married black man here at home.
	  
   The only thing that reverses this trend is for Asians to be around
longer so that they are seen in all niches of society, not just engineer,
doctor, computer nerd, and 7-11 owner. There are very few Asian politicians,
athletes, movie stars, porn stars, police officers, community activists,
criminals, kindergarden teachers, truck drivers, etc. Some of this is
changing, but in a negative way. There is now an increase in Asian gang
activity and organized crime. 
    TV is one big influence. Everytime I see an Indian on some TV show,
he or she speaks with an accent and usually acts like some Ghandhi  
reincarnation. Of course there are a lot Indians that do speak like that.
But there are also many who don't. But for your average person in the
mid-west who probably never met an Indian, TV gives them their first
impression. What if every black person were shown talking jive? There
would be a big outrage. Of course the problem goes again to point #2:
Asians are passive. Passivity in relationships extends to political
passivity also.

    Getting back to the original topic, with blacks and whites the gender
phenomenon is reversed. I see many more black male- white female couples
than the reverse. In the 23 yrs of my life, only once do I ever recall
seeing a white male holding the hand of a black female. And I mean a
relationship, not just for some one night fling or seeing a prostitute.
And in public. TV does not count.

   Since blacks and whites are not exotic to each other since they
are more familiar to each other and  the males are 
more agressive than there Asian counterparts, there are other dynamics
at work in their gender disparity. I have my own theories, but it
would be better to ask the black and white soc.single readers.


Gautham Kamath

Sigs? I don't need no stinkin' sigs!!!!!!


   Of course the rarest of all, one I have never seen: Asian male-black
   female. Has anyone ever seen this? Know of any personally?