From: lisad@dynamo.ecn.purdue.edu (Lisa Dominique)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Mr. and Mrs. Salter...
Date: 30 Sep 92 18:20:06 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network

In article <BvEIGL.MyH@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> jrsalt@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Julie Salter) writes:
>ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-) [my charming husband] shares: 
>>bz687@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (E. Andi Woods) says:
>
>>It will happen, Andi. Be patient, be honest with yourself and others,
>>love  yourself and someday it will happen. 
>
>I've never experienced that before, Andi.  Its a feeling I shall never tire
>of.
>
>>
>>I was married for 17 years to a woman I had no real love for. We
>>stayed married for the children. It was a mistake and I finally
>>realized that. Then, being so desperate for a "healthy" relationship,
>>I got enmeshed in an equally sick relationship...it just appeared
>>initially to be so different. Then, it was as if I hit rock bottom...I
>>questioned myself about my feelings and was truly honest with myself
>>for the first time in many years. I discarded fantasy and when I did
>>that completely, I found Julie. She is not a fantasy...she is real.
>>It took a long time to recover from the last "incident" and I honestly
>>have to say it will still take a while longer to heal completely. But,
>>I was able finally to accept my own self, as I was, and begin to love
>>myself. Then , I was able to return the love that Julie held for me.
>>Now, the immensity of the love I feel for Julie will often overwhelm
>>me and tears will flood my eyes. This is what I had always wanted...a
>>truly honest relationship that involves trust and compromise on both
>>sides. There is sacrifice and friendship and love and
>>laughter...shared tears and shared laughter. Julie allows me to be me
>>and I respect the person inside that is her.
>
>{no way am I going to delete that part...}

Me neither!!   *wink*

>
>I too stayed in a relationship for many more years that I should have.  I
>did it because you're SUPPOSED to stay married.  And it eventually began to
>kill the inside me.  I had no feelings for anything really.  I finally
>began to notice (as did my ex) and sought therapy.  What I learned was
>terrifying to me - I didn't love this man!  And I had never learned to
>love ME.
>
>So, finally, I got out of that relationship and began to work on me and what
>*I* wanted from life.  Around that time, a ray of light came into my life.
>And he was there for me while I healed and grew, and he was there to fall
>in love with me when the time was right.
>
>That love grew and grew.  And when I looked into his eyes on our wedding
>day, I knew that it was forever.  No doubts whatsoever.  It was as though
>I could see into the soul.  And when we lay in one another's arms with the
>fire throwing shadows on our bodies, I looked into those eyes again, and
>knew I would be doing that for the rest of my life.

I had to leave part of Julie's post in too.  I have watched
both Steven and Julie grow this past year.  Things weren't
easy at the beginning; there was a lot of pain and a lot
of denial to overcome.  Once they got past the denial and
realized what they had in the past was very unhealthy, it
seemed that's when their lives took a turn towards growing
in an individual way, as well as growing together.

Steven and Julie have came a very very long way and I 
don't think there are ANY words to express how happy I am
to see the two of them together sharing an unconditional
love that most of us only dream about (altho it can happen
to any of us....).  I'm just so very very proud of how 
far both have them have grown, and so happy they have 
each other to share the bright loving future that lies
ahead of them.

A Toast To You, Steven and Julie!   I love you both, dearly.


Lis, The Official Good Romantic Witch
and Honoured Former President
of the Romantic Fire Association

p.s.  Heaven is a *Hug* and a *Smile*
      the Joy of Music and the Beauty of Silence
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat