From: launce@medusa.med.utah.edu (Tri-Ungulate)
Subject: STEVE NEEDS A LESSON IN FLAMING (was Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night))
Organization: Trifurcate-Hooved Ruminant Surveyors, Inc.
	<BxGsBp.Ay9@nic.umass.edu> <BxH1sB.7r0@cs.dal.ca>
Date: 11 Nov 92 18:21:34

In article <BxH1sB.7r0@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>	 Heck, I"m certainly no frat boy, yet I don't stay in
>	 too often. 

Yep, you've got your two ever-lovin' long-sufferin' sisters on call 24
hours a day, all dressed up 'n ready to go, Chloe and all.
 
>	Now, granted - I've never taken out DJ Jazzy Jen, but
>	I can't hope for _everything_.)

Dream on, Stooperboy.

>	Man, your humor really sucks. How can you have this tiny cult
>	of goons if your wit is so dry and flat? Oh wait - I forgot.
>	You're female.

So Steve, what's your excuse for lacking utterly in wit? Hmmm? Perhaps
you're the famous "man with no dick" (1)

>	Well DJ Jen, I think it's time for you to polish up your
>	writing.  More specifically, you really have to work on your
>	flames(whether you admit it or not, you are aspiring to flame,
>	and doing so miserably.)           

Whereas Steve cannot even aspire to flame, as he is too too lame and
wimpy to put anything together resembling a flame per se.  He reminds
me of Derek Small's (AKA Harry Shearer) quote about "being somewhere
between fire and ice -- lukewarm water, perhaps." (2)

>   Many individuals rush into the art of flaming too quickly, and in the
>   process place themselves into susceptibility of ridicule, humiliation, and
>   rejection from their peers whom they so desperately seek to please.

Steve! How perceptive!! You're finally GETTING A CLUE as to your
status on alt.flame!!! 

>	     b) You know who Kibo is, and why his signature sucks

Gosh, Steve, that really makes you an instant oldbie(tm), now doesn't
it?  

>	     c) You know who the HitListPeople (tm) are. Be sure to 
>		figure out who the "right" people to flame are. Many brownie 
>		points can be derived from burning the "right" person, and 
>		you can quickly be accepted by the group of your choice by
>		humbling anyone of these people.

More perceptive commentary from Steve, seeing as he is one of the
whipping boys here in alt.flame, regularly the recipient of a proper
humbling by any number of posters.  As a common object of derision and
the brunt of numerous flames he is unable (though certainly willing to
attempt) to adequately defend himself against, it's not surprising
that he becomes the "right" person to flame anytime, anyday.  Rather
sad, actually, it doesn't seem quite fair to pick on him.
Nonetheless, like a bruised and battered Bozo-the-clown punching toy,
he always springs back up with some new Bozosity, ready for more of the
abuse he so richly deserves.

>	     d) You have decided that you have no religion, no morals, never
>		judge anyone, have no qualms with homosexuals, bisexuals, 
>		trisexuals, quadrasex... well, you get the idea. 

As opposed to that shining beacon of morality Steve Franklin, Superboy
who feels it necessary to judge people on what really oughta be their
own business.  Somewhat like a certain like-minded net.personality who
claims to "speak for Jesus." 

>		Be utterly
>		tolerant to EVERY possible facet of human nature, or you will
>		be severely crushed 

"Severely crushed" being the operational term here (very perceptive
once again boy! There's hope for you yet!!)  

>		by the I-Just-Wanna-Be-Me group on USENET.

As opposed to Steve himself, who is an enthusiastic member of the
I-Just-Want-Everyone-To-Be-Just-Like-Me group, along with such
luminaries as T*d KKK*ldis, Artimus Page, "RonnieJr", etc. etc. _ad
nauseum_

>	Here's a list of the more popular groups, and their AIGQ.
>	[Average Intelligence Group Quotient] 
>	alt.peeves = 80.3 (Bumped up 11 points since I joined... goes
>	back to 69.2 when I leave...)

And what *were* your SAT scores, exactly Steve?  

Alt.peeves - the quintessential Steve Franklin newsgrope.  Heh.

> The following is an abbreviated HitList: Steve Franklin: 
>		 This SuperHuman individual intimidates all users of Usenet
>		 with his accelerated and overwhelming intelligence mixed
>		 with subtle wit and fascinating concepts. 

More like: this StooperHumanoid individual finds himself constantly
the butt of numerous jokes on abUSENET due to his unbelievable inanity
and odious attempts at humour.

>		 Realize that this individual is difficult to flame
>		 because he does not care.

Yeah, he really DOES NOT CARE.  Even though he follows up any flame to
his person with a *PERSONAL* eMAIL message HE REALLY DOES NOT CARE.
Even though he eagerly sticks to threads long dead in a feeble (though
ultimately hopeless) attempt to maintain some shred of dignity HE
REALLY DOES NOT CARE - OKAY????????  GOT THAT?????  GOOD!!!!!
   
>   4) Pick an alias for yourself. Something intimidating, yet not overbearing.

Alias, schmalias. There's a UNIX command you can use to find out who's
behind *my* "alias."   Jeez, at least I don't go for stooopidities like
"Elvis" or "Edified"

>  My verbiage exudes eloquence, but sparing exceptional occurences, I rarely
>  have a single iota of intellectual meaning to contribute to the group.
>  I enjoy my attempts to conquer your credibility through "flaming", but I
>  am actually pursuing a scholastic career where English is my 3rd language.
>  I have an undying and endless love for my thesaurus.
>	  (You know who you are)

Golly Steve, could you possibly be referring to...  perhaps... ? 

Nah, couldn't be me -- I don't use a thesaurus.  It's not worth the
trouble & effort to look things up to shoot down small fry like Troll
or yourself. It *is* fun to watch you towheads squirm when confronted
by something you don't quite "get." The DennisHallChaneyObject was
priceless.  Anyway English happens to be my first language.

>	Heh -I had fun writing this, but I'm off to choir now. ciao.

Let me guess - you're a Castrati (which would explain the "ciao") and
you sing a beautiful high-pitched soprano.  Good for you.

Yep, knew it.

>   steve

(1) _Ghostbusters_

(2) _This is Spinal Tap_  dir. by Rob Reiner

(3) _School is Hell_ by Matt Groening.


-- non-mu


Newsgroups: alt.flame