From: jean@cs.cornell.edu (Jean M. Petrosino)
Subject: Real Feminist Jokes and Rebuttal
Organization: Cornell Univ. CS Dept, Ithaca NY 14853
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 20:21:33 GMT

What's the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton, and Jane Fonda?
	-Jane went to Vietnam.

Why can't women become carpenters?
	-Because they think this _______________ is nine inches.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
	-So men can remember them.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
	-100; 1 to screw it in and 99 to support her.

Why did the blonde woman have a bruise on her belly-button?
	-Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Here is a scenario:
	A man is walking down the street, and he is mugged.  He goes to the 
police department to report the crime.
Man: "Hi. I was mugged last night."
Officer: "Where were you?"
Man: "Walking to my car after I left a bar."
Officer: "Were you alone?"
Man: "Yes."
Officer: "Why were you walking alone at night?"
Man: "I was just walking to my car..."
Officer: "You couldn't have had anyone walk you to your car?  Did you go to 
	  the bar alone?"
Man: "Yes."
Officer: "Why did you go to a bar, at night, alone?"
Man: "To get a beer and relax after work."
Officer: "You couldn't have relaxed at home?"
Man: "Well, sure I could have but..."
Officer: "What were you wearing?"
Man: "A suit."
Officer: "Why did you wear a suit to a bar?"
Man: "I told you, I had just gotten out of work."
Officer: "What do you do for a living?"
Man: "I'm a lawyer."
Officer: "You mean to tell me, you are a reasonably intelligent man and you
	went into a bar at night, by yourself, in an expensive suit, had a 
	couple of beers, and proceeded to walk to your car alone, and you're 
	upset that your wallet got stolen?  You were asking for trouble.  
	You're lucky to be alive. Besides, we'll probably never catch the guy 
	anyway."

Does this sound familiar?  I resent the fact that Mr. Gluteous Maximus believes
that feminists secretly want to be raped.  If you lived with the level of fear
that women live with every day, you might not be so flippant about such a 
serious topic.  Just ask a black man how he feels when he is stopped on a 
college campus (or on any street for that matter) and is forced to present
identification and explain where he is going for no reason other than he looks
suspicious.  It's the same situation with women.  We are hasselled for not 
doing what we are expected (like fulfilling our 'natural biological functions'
as you put it) and even those women who do shut up and do what they are told
get screwed over by having their husbands leave them (and the kids) high and
dry so he can go cavorting with a younger, newer model (no pun intended).
  I also resent the fact that you portray all feminists to be man-haters.  
This is not so.  I love men--I have several wonderful brothers and many 
fantastic male friends.  Just because women are pointing to the injustice of 
our present system does not mean we are looking at men as the 'enemy.'  I feel
men are just as oppressed by sexism as women are, you're just so worried about
losing the few priviledges you have in the present system.  Feminism was 
created to let women know that we weren't all going crazy in feeling cheated 
with our positions in society, not to castrate men physically or metaphorically.  Every movement has extremists, and people who are not open to change choose to focus upon the extreme members of a movement.  That is what you are doing.  Open youreyes and change the world with women-we want you to come along.  If not, you will be the one to miss all the wonderment of a society where women and men respect each other.  That's all I'm asking for-the same respect you would 
give any man. 

		
	"...I don't don't care if people call me a feminist,
	 or a fuitcake!!  I'm going to get in my car and drive
	 to the centermost point of the United States and 
	 climb the highest tower and say, "Hey, don't get me
	 wrong...we love ya', but WHO THE HELL DO YOU MEN 
	 THINK YOU ARE!!!"
				-Annie Potts as Bette Davis
				 Designing Women
				 A Question of Anita and Clarence