From: foleye@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU (Stilt Man)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: FWF:  Flawless vs. Suicide
Summary: John "Flawless" Lawless takes on "Suicidal" Paul Stuart.
Date: 7 Jan 93 06:14:52 GMT
Organization: CS Dept, Oregon State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: xanth.cs.orst.edu

Today, the Fictional Wrestling Federation's singles office returns from its
Christmas hiatus to bring you the latest installment in FWF action.

The contestants:  "Suicidal" Paul Stuart and John "Flawless" Lawless

Soon to come from the singles ranks:

"Scorpion" Stan Golding tries to settle his feud with "Rock" Steve Rockwell.

"Greased Lightning" Damien Flayer tries to end his three-match losing streak
against "Hurricane" Andrew Simms.

And, in a mandatory defense of his title against the number-one contender,
Doctor Death takes the challenge of his longtime rival, U.S. Champion
"Invincible" Titan Morgan.


Comments for tonight's contest:

Stuart:

"You know, I was listening to my favorite Christmas carol, 'Frosty the Hitman,'
when it occurred to me that there's a guy out there who really needs to get
hit.  They tell me that taking out John Lawless would be a suicide mission.
Guess how long it took me to decide I wanted that job?  So Lawless, get your
rear in gear and your insurance payments done, because there's a one-man
Kamikaze squadron diving down on your flight deck!"

Lawless:

"So once again, they just count me down and out.  They figure that the only
man with a pinfall victory over Doctor Death is just going to roll over and
beg for mercy, huh?  Well 'FLAWLESS' LAWLESS ISN'T INTERESTING IN HANGING THEM
UP JUST YET!!!  And when I walk down that aisle, it'd be in your best interest
to bow and beg for some forgiveness, because your suicidal instincts are a
very distince flaw!  And if you've got flaws, I've got your number!"


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The sound of Golden Earring's "Radar Love" makes its way through the Mecca
in Milwaukie, Wisconsin, and the fans create something of a stir for the man
making his way to the ring.  Alfred Grinchley steps into the ring and begins
his work.

"THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL.  COMING DOWN THE AISLE,
AND HAILING FROM SIESTA KEY, FLORIDA; HE WEIGHS TWO HUNDRED AND FOURTY-ONE
POUNDS . . . HERE IS 'SUICIDAL' PAUL STUART!!!"

Suicide hears the stir at his name, and his eyes widen in manic excitement.
He runs up to the ring and, to the fans' surprise, promptly disappears under
the ring apron, remaining underneath.  The Grinch's brows rise in wonderment,
and after a minute or so of Suicide's entrance music, the PA system changes
over to the tune of "Exodus."

"AND HIS OPPONENT, HAILING FROM SEATTLE WASHINGTON.  HE WEIGHS TWO HUNDRED AND
SIXTY-EIGHT POUNDS . . . JOHN 'FLAWLESS' LAAAAAAAAAAAAAWLESS!!"

This creates a chorus of staunch boos from the marks and cheers from the hard-
cores, as a man in a sparkling red robe comes down the aisle, basking in every
sound.  His short-cropped brown hair is perfectly styled and feathered, his
blue eyes gleaming with confidence, though many of his critics would call it
arrogance.  And why not be arrogant?  He is recognized by all as the number
three man in the World division of the FWF, the cream of the non-champion crop.
And in his hands is the two-foot-long "Wrestler Be Cool" stick, the instrument
of his vindication over those who deride him too much.

He motions with the stick to the referee, waiting expectantly on the ring apron.
The official answers his call, and parts the ropes for his entry.  Lawless
responds by leaping over the top rope into the ring, mocking the man who tried
to do him a favor.  The words "Utterly Flawless" on the back of his robe are
echoed verbally now, as he takes his robe off, sets his stick down in his
corner, and prepares to begin the match.

It is only now that the fact that he entered last seems to occur to him, for
he is alone in the ring.  He suddenly realizes that Suicide is, in fact, around
here somewhere, and starts when he hears someone mounting the ring ropes behind
him.

He whirls angrily, but is too late to avoid the double axehandle that strikes
him off the top rope.  The referee calls for the opening bell, as Suicide
shrieks down at his fallen opponent.  A stomp on the head punctuates his cry
of rage, as he draws Lawless up by the hair, ramming his head into the turn-
buckle.  He whips Lawless across corners, rushing after him, ducking to grab
the ring ropes when Lawless rises to try to drop kick him with hands still on
the ropes.  Lawless lands back-to-back atop Suicide, and the smaller man
grabs him in a back-slide-like position, only to hurl him headfirst back into
the ringpost!  Suicide rolls under the ring ropes as Lawless staggers out
into the middle of the ring, dazed.  A flying drop kick off the top rope sends
Lawless outside the ring!

Suicide has leaped out over the top rope, landing on the apron, by the time
Lawless is back to his feet.  He hops up to the bottom rope, executing a
perfect moonsault onto his foe, sending him back into the security railing with
Suicide draped over the top of him.  Suicide comes to his feet out in the
fans' section, and a number of screams of concern for their well-being make
their way to his ears.  Lawless clutches the ring railing for support, only to
be grasped by the wrist from the other side of the fence and whipped along
the railing . . . until he reaches the corner, that is.  Lawless slumps against
the fence as Suicide leaps back over his portion, running at Lawless at top
speed, grabbing the top of the fence as he does a 360 flip over the top of
Lawless to the outside of the railing, smothering him badly against the steel!

Lawless, still on his feet by some miracle, staggers his way to the ring and
gets back in, though not without a great deal of difficulty.  Suicide is back
in with him much too fast for his liking, and well within the ref's count.
A great deal of ruckus from the two fans' sections involved erupts, and Suicide
loves every sound of it.

Lawless drops to his knees and begs for mercy, clutching pathetically at his
back with one hand.  Suicide shows him none, grabbing him by the hair to take
him back to his feet.  A pair of fingers to the eyes halt the move, and Suicide
doubles over to administer rubbing at them.  Lawless stands and deals out a
swinging neckbreaker immediately.  He remains flat on his back beside Suicide,
however, trying to get some feeling into his spine that is not painful.

Lawless slowly rises to his feet, though Suicide is up nearly as quickly.
Lawless grabs him by his right leg, putting him on the canvas with a back heel
trip.  He sets his own right leg just below the knee, setting his left just
above the ankle.  He drops to his knees with the right leg so imprisoned,
creating a serious strain on the smaller man's shin bone.  The bone bends in
a place it was not intended to, but does not break, fortunately for Suicide.
However, the pain is excruciating, and Suicide rolls into a ball to clutch
at his wounded shin.  Lawless rubs his back for a moment, not bothering to
celebrate the fact that he may well have just evened the hurt score.

Lawless kicks and hacks away at the injured leg, before dealing a flat boot
to Suicide's head.  He draws the smaller man up, sending him across the ring.
He leaps up, but Suicide has gotten his hands on the ropes, and Lawless' drop
kick attempt sends him straight onto the back of his head on the mat.  Suicide
drops his right knee on Lawless' head, out of custom rather than thought, and
any hurt on his own leg is ignored, for he cares nothing for his own pain.

Suicide sees Lawless in pain, and looks in fascination at the expression on the
larger man's face.  He draws him back to his feet by the hair, and Lawless'
reach gets hair on the smaller man as well.  Lawless gouges Suicide's eyes
with his other hand, keeping hold by the hair as Suicide lets go.  Lawless leaps
up and uncoils the full length of his legs straight into Suicide's jaw, and
the smaller man is sent hurtling back into the corner.

Lawless stays on the mat, however, as Suicide regains his wits and comes out
after him.  The larger man drops him in a toehold, going into an Indian death-
lock handheld.  He holds the while moving up Suicide's back to get a facelock
with his other hand, and the smaller man screams in pain.  But there is also
some sign of almost joyfulness in the sound, and Lawless releases the hold with
a noticeable amount of disgust.  What has he gotten into the ring with?

Suicide gets back to his feet, giving no regard to his hurting leg.  Lawless
snaps his mare over the shoulder, and Suicide sits up wonderingly.  Lawless
flips over his head from behind, catching his head in both hands, stretching
his spine out in most uncomfortable a manner.  Suicide rolls onto his belly and
comes up to his knees angrily, only to have Lawless repeat the move from in
front, bending him back double against his shins!  Suicide remains on the
canvas, and Lawless looks at the expression on his face for a moment to see if
he is lamenting or savoring the pain.

Lawless sets his legs as he did before on Suicide's right shin, and executes
the shin breaker knee drop a second time.  Suicide arches up on his left leg
in agony, and Lawless draws him to his feet, putting him into a reverse back-
breaker immediately.  Suicide arches up again, rolling onto his belly, hearing
the "ooo"s from the audience.  Lawless spreads his hands out and shouts to
the crowd, "FLAWLESS!!"

The chorus of boos seems to bring a light to Suicide's eyes.  Lawless notices
it and immediately stomps at the leg.  Suicide simply stares at him in wonder-
ment.  Lawless stands, stunned, for there is no trace of concern for his own
well-being in his opponent's eyes.  The fans see it, and cheers from one part
of the audience start up.

Suicide's eyes light up some more, and he rises to one knee--hit right one is
on the mat.  The cheers from the fans go into a crescendo, and Suicide stands
up, looking out like a caveman suddenly dropped into civilization.  Lawless
grabs him in a headlock and hurls him over the hip onto his back, but Suicide
quickly loops one leg--his right--over Lawless' head and pulls him off, standing
on his feet at once.  Lawless stands, and a swift kick to the back puts him
back down on the mat.  Lawless arches on his back, his mind furiously trying
to figure out what the p!$$ is going on.  His opponent seems to be quite insane,
and ignores pain when it is heaped upon him.  Lawless gets to his feet, and
Suicide is upon him immediately.

Suicide tries to whip Lawless across the ring, only to have it reversed.  A
roundhous Russian sickle by the larger man misses on the first pass . . .



. . . but it becomes clear that it was never intended to hit, as Lawless hefts
Suicide up by the waist, setting one hand around a thigh to curl him around
180 degrees and sending all his momentum, vertical and horizontal, down on his
spine on the mat in one move.  The spine buster brings a buzz from the fans,
and then horrified silence, as the hallmark call springs forth from "Flawless"
Lawless' lips:

"Now you're going to see . . . a Perfect Plex!!"

Lawless draws Suicide into a front facelock, looping his arm overhead, and
hooks the leg.  He walks out into the center of the ring, forcing Suicide to
hop out with him, and sets, preparing to turn him over into the bridge-cradle.



But Suicide chooses that moment to hook his legs in an inside cradle, only he
uses Lawless' own lifting momentum to roll over the top of him in the process!

One!

Two!



Lawless rolls the cradle over, coming out on top of Suicide.

One!

Two . . .



Suicide rolls it back . . .



. . . and Lawless kicks out at one.  Suicide gets to his feet more quickly,
and curls an abdominal stretch around Lawless as the larger man gets to his
own feet.  Suicide throws his weight back, pulling Lawless over backwards until
his shoulders reach the mat!

One!

Two . . .



Lawless gets one shoulder off the mat, and Suicide disconnects his hold,
leaving Lawless in a tangle with him in a scramble to their feet.  Lawless
rises up, and turns to find a drop kick planted against his chest, sending
him into the corner.  Lawless slumps against the top ropes, his back starting
to give out on him.  Suicide, for his part, seems to give no indication that
he has a stricken shin and back of his own.  He walks up and deals a reverse
knife edge chop to his larger foe.  A second, and a powerful whip out of the
corner to the opposite follow.  Suicide immediately cartwheels, turning himself
around into a back handspring, tucking his legs in tight to give himself space
for what he does next.

He hurls himself off the canvas backwards, hurtling seven feet up into the
air as his body turns heels overhead, flipping backwards and shunting all the
momentum of the turn and the movement into the heels as they impact straight
upon John "Flawless" Lawless' sternum.  A roar of excitement, both of support
for Suicide and enjoyment of seeing the spectacular move, rises from the fans,
and every cry makes the smaller man more enthusiastic.  Lawless hears none of
it, seeing his attention better spent in flopping helplessly on the canvas.

Suicide brings Lawless to his feet, very wobbly.  He turns the larger man
towards the corner, looping his left arm overhead with his own right in the
same motion as that right arm goes around Lawless' waist.  He clasps the side
waistlock with his left hand, and snaps Lawless up off the mat and onto his
back in a blur of motion.  Lawless groans from his landing site, unmoving.
Suicide draws his index finger sharply across his throat as he walks quickly
toward a turnbuckle perpendicular to Lawless' body.  He climbs to the top
rope, facing outward, and launches backward in a moonsault . . .



. . . and, when he comes around to face the mat for the descent, sees
that Lawless has rolled towards his launch point, out of the way of the 'sault.
Instincively, he curls a little more in flight, so that he lands on his feet
beside his opponent who now tries to stand, rather than doing an Olympic
belly-flop on the mat.  Lawless gets to one knee as Suicide reaches him again,
setting in belly-to-belly position, left arm over Lawless' right.

Suicide hops a bit, and sets, turning Lawless over, remaining in a bridge atop
his larger foe in a perfect Northern Lights Suplex!

One!

Two!



And three!

Lawless stays on the mat where Suicide dropped him for a while, and the Grinch
sets the decision in the books:

"THE WINNER OF THIS BOUT . . . 'SUICIDAL' PAAAAAAAUL STUUUUUUART!!!!!"

The fans stand and applaud the upset victory, and Suicide walks over to the
ropes, leaping over the top to the floor, and runs erratically back toward the
dressing room.

While in the ring, John "Flawless" Lawless glares out at him from one knee, 
muttering something only he is allowed to hear.

At least, until some time in the future . . .

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And there it is.  Paul Stuart proves that his World title shot was not based
on whim, but that there is talent behind the madness.


For now, the Stilt Man signs off.

__________________________________________________________________________
|Stilt Man --Never ask a mortician to go out and bring you back a cold one.|
|  foleye@xanth.cs.orst.edu	                            		   |
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