From: chen70@wharton.upenn.edu
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: NY MET ENVY
Date: 9 Apr 92 06:39:19 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

For all those idiots and athletic supporters of loser teams such as the
Cubs, etc, it's really discouraging to see the rampent level of MET ENVY,
which is defined as follows: propensity for a fan of a perennial loser
(see cubs:1945) to become an anti-fan of the team clearly recognized as 
the superior and perennial front-runner.  Symptoms include schizoid 
delusions in which all perceptions of reality and reason are non-existant;
the evidence here is based on the multiple reactions of fans of these 
perennial losing teams.  Usually concentrated in Cleveland, the epidemic
is spreading rapidly to Philadelphia, Chicago, and Houston.  
Before we give a bit of our wisdom, we will make sure that indeed
only people reading this will be of sound mind, and not waste their
precious few brain cells.  Here is a simple diagnostic test for MET ENVY:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you actually wasted time and brain power calculating and writing 
about the impossibility of the METS going 80-8, you definitely have 
MET ENVY.  In addition, poking fun at Wharton is a symptom of BRAIN
ENVY, which does not even belong in this category. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, for those normal people still with us, here is the true and logical
reasoning behind the METS eventual '92 divisonal crown.

1)  Superior starting pitching; only the Reds have it better.  I don't 
give a sh*t what happened to Saberhagen (in fact I refuse to acknowledge
the existance of that game).  Gooden, Saberhagen, Cone, Fernandez, and
possibly Anthony Young make up a truly superior rotation.  Nobody else in
the division is even three-deep in quality starters.
2)  Three of the top ten power hitting switch hitters of all time batting
in 3-4-5 slots.  Bonilla and HOJO are top-notch, and Murray will probably
knock in 90+ runs.  
3)  Pecota is GOD (just kidding-wanted to see if you were paying attention)
3)  The most disruptive force in baseball-VINCE COLEMAN (when he's on 
base) .  Has shown improvement in OBP, taking walks, and even bunting
4)  Good veteran leadership: even F**N Bill Pecota has a world series ring
5)  a great manager in Jeff Torborg; he's the leader this club of emotional
players needs- a no B**S** knid of guy
6)  The same defense attorney who aided William Kennedy Smith, which 
virtually insures the services of Cone, Coleman, Gooden, and every other
potential felon on the team for a full year
7)   Magadan and Randolph will both again set the table for the big boys,
getting on base at least 40% of the time
8)  Excellent bullpen ace in John Franco
9)  Good proven supporting cast in bullpen-Burke, Whitehurst, Innis, etc.
10) the defense isn't as bad as the ANTI-MET FANS hope; Hundley, Pecota,
Randolph, Murray, and Bonilla are at least average.  Hojo is an excellent
athlete who will adjust to center field-trust me, I picked him for a 30-30
man back in '83 with Detroit


If this isn't enough to convince you, how about the REAL five reasons why 
the METS WILL WIN
1) Chicago has NO pitching, NONE: Mike Morgan is a waste of good hard-earned
Chicago money.  He wouldn't even make the METS' staff.  And don't even tell
me about Danny Jackson.  He wouldn't even make the Astros.
And don't forget Walton and Smith, both vying for flops of the year.

2) Montreal is too young, and will probably give away their remaining 
talented players, because nobody wants to play there.  By the way, I get
nauseated when I hear Ken Hill mentioned in the same sentence as Bob Gibson!
Also, the Expos TRADED for Doug Simons; that is enough a reason not to pick
them

3)  Philadelphia is hopeless.  I read the local papers every day, and the
writers know about as much as the management, which is sh*t.  Unless
Dykstra can play one-handed and do a mean Babe Ruth imitation, the lineup
completely lacks a legitimate number four hitter.  The equation for 
Philly in '92 reads: unstable pitching + unproven talent = cellar dweller

4)  Pittsburgh has sold the farm.  Leyland will be managing the Pennsylvania
Quakers pretty soon.  That Smiley trade was a joke - Neagle may have won
twenty games in the minors, but he relies too much on control and won't
fool anybody.  Nice bullpen ace -I've seen better arms on a chair. 
At this pace, Bonds will end up in Atlanta, in exchange for Nick Esasky

5)  St. Louis - again, I don't give a sh*t what they did to Saberhagen -
that took seven years to bring to a boil. This is a pansy lineup-especially
without BIG CAT (the biggest pussy) Galarraga.  Pitching is suspect-Olivares
as a number two starter is pretty good for laughs.  Also side-splitting is
the fact that Guerrero is their leading slugger.  

Sincerely, Rubahadas     
                        
 
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball