HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky)
Subject: Re: Yech
Organization: Technical University Vienna, Dept. for Realtime Systems, AUSTRIA
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 10:19:52 GMT

[i tried to post an earlier version of this yesterday. it was rejected 
 because the news server was down. apologies if anyone sees this twice.]

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>My parents store their glassware right side up in the
>cabinets, and I've gotten into the habit of checking the glasses for dead
>spiders for that reason.  Unfortunately, my stepmother doesn't, or at least
>didn't this time.  

geoff, your optimism regarding the intentions of humans entangled in family 
ties makes my head spin. 

>About a third of the way through the beer, I got a mouth-
>full of dead spider.  

better than either a mouthful of half-dead spider, or a mouthful
of half a dead spider. i wouldn't complain. 

now that i think about it a bit more, spiders are excellent swimmers.
we can therefore assume that the spider was dead *before* the beer was
poured. this again suggests that the spider probably died of starvation 
a long time ago and that the corpse had dried out considerably. 

i therefore think it is safe to assume that the osmotic pressure
forced lots more beer into the spider than spider into the beer.

geez, i'm sure wearing my pink shades today...

-alex

-- 
Alexander Vrchoticky             alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
TU Vienna, CS/Real-Time Systems  +43/1/58801-8168
From: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObT)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Those damn MENTOS commercials!
Date: 26 Sep 92 13:57:30 GMT
Reply-To: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObT)
Organization: The Exploding Hot Drink

In article <CINDY.92Sep26142754@solan10.solan.unit.no> Cynthia Kandolf writes:

> The bit i don't understand is why they never admit what the damn
> things are for.  I mean, if we can have commercials showing a little
> cartoon penis putting a condom on itself, we're certainly ready for
> a commercial that contains the word "menstruation", aren't we?

Of course, should they actually use the word you mention, it would
be highly politically incorrect to do so.

The correct term is "WOMENstruation"

--
The ObT
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: Esoteric Skinhead O'Connor (Was stuff about Mac D's)
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 17:30:19 GMT

In article <1992Oct6.111639.7977@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>In article <1992Oct5.134746.8281@umbc3.umbc.edu>, potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>> peeve: skinhead o'connor. where i agree with some of her ideas, her methods
>> 	are a bit extreme.
>
>This reminds me. My aunt told me that Skinhead was on Saturday Night Live 
>a while back, and was singing with a lot of Jewish religious things around her

this was just this past saturday.

>(I don't know what sort of things she had as props, since I don't know anyone 
>who is Jewish... not counting a couple of net-people). Anyway, at the end of 
>the song she holds up a picture of the Pope, which she rips to shreds, and says
>"Let's fight the real enemy." Does anyone know what the HELL she was talking 
>about?

i only caught the end with the picture ripping and the stunned silence of
the audience.

>Peeve: "stars" who use political causes to grandstand
>Related Peeve : "stars" who use esoteric methods to grandstand, so I can't
>figure out WHAT the HELL their point is!

i believe it was a pro-choice statement. but it *is* hard to say. she's,
well, odd.


-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: McOlsen's Lutefisk Burgers -- one served.
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 15:23:14 GMT

russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:

>C'mon, Dan, wasting pheasants with a combine can't count for as much
>as blowing rabbits into a frothy red mass with a 12 ga.  What's the
>power factor of a combine, anyway?

	About 175hp, something like 400ft/lbs of torque.  The rollers
in the corn head spin at several thousand RPM, so if you attempt to
place a 3 foot long strip of cardboard in there your hand will be
pulled in before you can release the cardboard.  It's an effective
demonstration in farm safety.  What comes out the bottom is basically
a large stain with a few chunky bits -- perfect for stew!

	BTW, the .50 does a great job of gutting rabbits if you hit
them in the side.  

--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>
From: Alan.Crowder@prg.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Big mac's and students
Date: 30 Sep 92 15:04:30 GMT
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3


Well you can tell the students are back, my door mysteriously (sp)
opens and then closes again when "they" see its not a lecture theatre
or teaching lab. Grrrrrrr GO AWAY.

Whats more i no longer take my daughter for a treat at McDonalds now
i have found out they donate money (yours and mine) to the IRA.
For those of you who dont know the IRA, well they are a terrorist
organisation in Northern Ireland fighting for freedom supposedly.
In excess of 7m dollars last year.

Ahhhh, thats better.

Alan
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: Big mac's and students
Organization: my opinions only
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 22:39:55 GMT

In article <122860045@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> reykja@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM
(Reykja Sigurdsson) writes:
>> 
>> Whats more i no longer take my daughter for a treat at McDonalds now
>> i have found out they donate money (yours and mine) to the IRA.
>> In excess of 7m dollars last year.
>
>         Where do you get that information?

Probably by misreading their annual report.  Isn't it a bit more
likely that McDonalds contributes to a retirement plan for their
employees?

(For those of you from outside the US, there's a creature called an
Individual Retirement Account (see the initials?) that gets you some
tax advantages.  Employers can contribute to it, with the usual amount
of limitations you'll find in an umpty-thousand page tax code.)

ObPeeve: The urban legend debunked above.  Though why picking on
McDonalds should be a peeve I don't know; even if they're not guilty
of this, they deserve it.

ObPeeve: McDonalds.

Seth		sethb@fid.morgan.com
From: logan@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Logan Shaw)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Moving
Date: 28 Sep 92 22:00:21 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin TX

In article <1992Sep23.180256.26060@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu> rob@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu (Robert K Shull) writes:
>Wait until you add/delete a service or have a problem. Then the cable
>person comes out, and while you're not watching, hooks the cable
>back up the way it was. Or blames the way you've got it hooked up
>for the problem. ("Ah! Here's the problem! You've got this signal
>splitter in the line!" "But that guy with the Ditch Witch dug up
>the main line out back." "No, no, that couldn't be the problem This
>here's the problem.")

Reminds me of an experience with the telephone company in Dallas.  I call
them up to report that something funny has happened with our service - we
have a stutter dial-tone instead of a normal dial tone.  (A stutter dial
tone is commonly used for different purpose than a normal dialtone and
sounds like a dialtone, only it's intermittent at first).  Well, the woman
says "we'll have to send a service representative out to your residence to
look at it and determine it's not your telephone set.  That will cost
$60.00."

So, I explain to her that it wasn't my set - it was the configuration of
their equipment.  At the time I conveniently happened to work for BNR/NT,
the company which manufactures the phone switch which served my exchange.
I had played with phones, switches, etc. in our lab and knew that software
was solely responsible for determining which type of dial tone to give a
line.  In fact, if I'd really felt the urge, I might have been able to look
up the relevant code in our code library.  I explained why I happened to
*know* for a fact that it wasn't a problem with my telephone set.  Did she
care?  No, of course not.  "Well sir, we still have to send a
representative."  "Why?"  "In case it's a problem with your set."  "It's
not."

Oh well.  I just gave up.  In a few months, the service spontaneuosly went
back to normal.

Adios,
  Logan
-- 
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=---=---=-=-=
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-===-=-=-=-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=---=---=-=-=
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Logan Shaw =-=-=-=-=-=--=--=-=-=-
From: makinc@hhcs.gov.au (Carl Makin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Date: 1 Oct 92 14:39:27 +1000
Organization: Aust. Dept. Health, Housing and Community Services

In article <1992Sep30.021600.7936@bbxrbk>, russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:

>>I've killed more pheasant with the combine than you've killed in the

> C'mon, Dan, wasting pheasants with a combine can't count for as much
> as blowing rabbits into a frothy red mass with a 12 ga.  What's the
> power factor of a combine, anyway?

I've got this mental image of Dan perched high up in the driver's
seat of the combine harvester, red eyes glowing in the semi
darkness and frothing at the mouth as he guides the lumbering
juggernaut into the Briar Patch.

I think the combine harvester has a rather larger power factor
than a mere 12 ga. :-)

Carl.
-- 
Carl Makin, MVS/ESA Systems Programmer, VAX/VMS Dabbler. 
Dept. Health, Housing and Community Services, Canberra, Australia.
sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au!hhcs!makinc   -   UUCP
makinc@hhcs.gov.au		   -   Internet
vk1kcm@vk1kcm.act.aus.oc	   -   Packet Radio
"I'm from the Government and I'm here to help you."
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Arana (Was: Vacation Peeve 2 - The rental car (Re: Mea Culpa)
Date: 6 Oct 92 13:59:37 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <1992Oct5.232052.1541@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>ObPeeve: (semi-compunerdy, skip if that offends you (and f*ck off as
>well))  Got a compiler for messy-dos to do a project.  Needed lots of
>memory, thus and doing work in 386 using a dos extender.  Libs came
>with source code, something I thought was nifty.
>
>Oh, yeah: This is a Symantec Zortech(tm) C++ version 3.0r4 compiler.

Shesh! We nearly bought this compiler last week. After the hell
we have been going through with Microsoft's compiler this would
have been the last thing we needed. Hopefully the new compiler
we did buy will work as advertised; it is supposed to arrive today.

ObPeeve: Micosoft's C compiler. Despite having its roots in such a
compugeeky source, I think that this should be a peeve that everyone
can relate to. 
	In some magazine, Microsoft advertised that this product did
something we wanted(for those who give a damn we needed a 32 bit
compiler for Windows and the add said they did it.) Anyway, we call
Microsoft to confirm that the product preformed as advertised. The
salesperson said that it did, so we bought it. After fighting with
the damned thing for quite sometime, trying to get it to do what
we wanted, we called MS tech support. After pointing to the example
in the manual that was supposed to do what we needed that didn't
work, the tech guy told us that the manual had been written before
the compiler and the stuff we needed had been left out. So, after
advertising and putting a section in the manual that claimed to
do 32 bit windows code, they do not, in fact, do it.
	So, in short, the peeve is crappy products that don't even
come close to doing what the manufacturer claims they do. Borland's
C compiler doesn't do the exact same thing, but I don't hate them,
since they never claimed to be able to do it.

BonusPeeve: All nighters. I have a project due in just over an
hour that I have spent all night working on. I have now been up for
27 hours and it doesn't look like I am going to get any sleep soon.
No rest(or in this case even caffiene) for the weary.

ExtraBonusPeeve: I am now starting to fall asleep. I have nothing to
do for 45 minutes or so before I need to head to class. Everytime I
try to catch a few Z's somebody comes up and starts talking to me.
-- 
"Hey, Guido! It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and
you're the lemon merchant. Getit? And he knows it! That's why he's gonna kill
us. So we gotta beat it. Yeah, before he lets loose the marmosets on us! - Ren
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: The Animal Rights Movement (was Re: Death peeve)
Date: 26 Sep 1992 23:10:11 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: rattler.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Sep26.161744.7787@ac.dal.ca> Sybok writes:
>
>*SIIIIIGH*. No. It wasn't. The fellow swerved to miss an animal, lost control
>of the car, and wrapped in around a telephone pole/flipped it into a ditch

There's a certain perseverance in idealism about an act like
that, which I must confess attracts me.  Any fool can go to an
anti-fur benefit concert.  But sacrificing your life to save a
rat?  That's conviction for you.

I can only wish that more of the world's moron Canucks had such
a commitment to moral ideals.

c
"hint hint"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Question about chutney
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 92 20:32:20 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <80481@ut-emx.uucp> logan@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Logan Shaw) writes:
>sandwiches with bologna and chutney.  Is this yet another reason
>she's strange, or is this a common thing to like?  Just what exactly
>*is* chutney?
	What is 'chutney'? I'm pretty sure that in the Disney version of
_Robin Hood_, Little John disguises himself as the Duke of Chutney. I have
always thought it was just some place a duke might be from.

"I am Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney. 
 And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid."

ObPeeve: People without cars. This includes far too many people actually. I
only mean to peeve about the ones without some means of transportation, who
think that sine I do have a car that I am duty bound to give them a ride 
whenever they need one.

-- 
"Hey, Guido! It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and
you're the lemon merchant. Getit? And he knows it! That's why he's gonna kill
us. So we gotta beat it. Yeah, before he lets loose the marmosets on us! - Ren
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: KQED and the Congress of Weasels
Date: 5 Oct 92 22:17:03 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

And don't support KQED!  Those assholes are trying to cut off KTEH's knees
by trying to declare that they're the #1 pub tv outlet in the Bay Area and that
they deserve not only the right of first refusal but the right to prevent
KTEH [or KCSM, for that matter, purveyor of my favorite program "French
in Action"] from showing any program.
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Commercials-on-the-brain
Keywords: plop plop fizz fizz
Date: 2 Oct 92 21:52:48 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Oct2.182444.19425@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:

>During a previous discussion of shooting small furry
>woodland creatures with high powered rifles, I was wondering:
>what actually happens to a rabbit if shot with a 30.06 say from
>within 50 yards?  Is the Wabbit Waporized?  Also: what about larger
>animals- say a cow or deer?  What would be the affect of a
>head shot from 25 yards with a hollow point from a 30.06? 


I would've liked to have seen the effect on a streetful of Berkeley
rioters of the 6000 rounds-per-minute, depleted uranium-spitting GAU-8 
Avenger 30mm cannon of an A-10 Warthog.  I figure the pilot could've 
done a little tap-dance on the rudder pedals as he proceeded up Telegraph
Avenue, so as to ensure maximum wall-to-wall coverage.


Geoff


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  Seen on a bumper sticker: "I killed Shirley Maclaine in a previous life"
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From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Cardboard, cardboard, everywhere!
Date: 2 Oct 92 17:02:36 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Oct1.233901.10106@cs.cornell.edu> csuley@cs.cornell.edu 
(Christopher Suley) writes:

>What I would like is for the publishers to allow me to choose a
>"no cardboard" subscription.  That'll never happen, though.


Those cardboard inserts peeve me, too.  I've come to the conclusion that
there's a conspiracy afoot among publishers to make it difficult to read
publications.  Not only do we have to contend with the cardboard inserts
and the 126 subscription cards that fall into our laps when we open a
magazine (AKA the Car and Driver Effect), but also many newspapers are
laid out in a braindead manner.

InterPeeve:  My officemate is making marathon long-winded phone calls and
making it extrememly difficult to concentrate on peeving.  This wouldn't
be nearly so bad if she'd be concise and stick to business, but most of 
her calls have an obligatory social component, which lengthens them 
considerably.

!Peeve: She was out yesterday and I had the office to myself.  It was one 
of the most productive days I've had in weeks.

Peeve:  My officemate peeves are getting to be as much of a mainstay as
!Al's bus peeves.  But what the hell -- they come from the heart.

Anyhoo, where was I?  Oh yes, newspapers.  The Los Angeles Times used to
peeve me because the articles on the front page were continued on random
inside pages, making it necessary to shuffle through the paper while trying
to remember the first part of a split sentence.  The only convenient way
to read that sucker is to spread it out on the floor, and get down on your
hands and knees.

The paper I subscribe to, the San Francisco Chronicle, sensibly continued
most of the front-page articles on the back page of the front section,
making them easy and convenient to find.  A few weeks ago, however, they
started putting the continuations inside the front section.  Mostly on a
consistent page in the front section, but inside nonetheless.  I took this
as yet another example of entropy in action, manifested in the subtle yet
inexorable decline of Western civilization.  It pisses me off.


Geoff


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  "My brother's favorite nursing case was the bozo who tried the shotgun
      in the mouth trick. He blew his face off up to the eyebrows and
  survived with no face and blind. The blindness wasn't the hassle you'd
  expect, since at least he didn't have to shave anymore." -- Nadja Adolf
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Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: Anti-gun brain dead bimbos
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 14:51:32 GMT

In article <56990004@hpscit.sc.hp.com> chrisw@hpscit.sc.hp.com (Chris Wiles) writes:
>	Everyone is an expert on stuff they know ABSOLUTLEY
>nothing about!

welcome to the net.

>	Get a life or a real cause like helping the homeless.

well, i served dinner at a shelter last month. does that count?

-l "rent a clue, bud. the gun thing was a joke" p


-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
From: tjc@castle.ed.ac.uk (A J Cunningham)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Human sheep
Date: 30 Sep 92 17:42:30 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University Colouring Book Software

jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:

>I'm no Holmesesque libertarian, 

Thank god for that. One's enough. But who was it who told Mike to get
the Ann Rand books, Jeremy?

>but I've had it with campaigns to stop
>stupid people from doing stupid things. A prime example is all the
>consumer affairs TV shows. "

Actually I find these rather amusing. The examples of stupidity that
they come up with each week bring a smile to my face and lighten my day.
My favourite example is the mother who buys the small child a toy that
is specifically designed to make small children want to stick it in
their mouths and choke on it. I love those. Another one of the little
noise machines down.

Given that you can't legislate against stupidity I think the best idea
is to collect as many examples as possible and have a good laugh. I'd
share a particular gem from our support department but the
fuckwit^H^H^H^H^H^H^H customer involved might recognise himself and I'd
get into real bad shit.
T


-- 
Tony Cunningham, Insignia Solutions Ltd. tjc@ed.ac.uk or tjc@insignia.uucp
This explains a lot about me. I thought it was the heavy drinking, the
late hours, the barking mad women, the lying around in bed reading novels and
eating Nescafe out of a jar with the  spoon. But it's because of the Mac.
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Food Pheromones
Keywords: Peace Is Our Profession
Date: 2 Oct 92 16:47:55 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Oct1.200903.24353@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com 
(A. Jing Hippy) writes:

>Ah yes.  I once ate an entire can of Pillsbury Ready-to-Spread frosting
>(chocolate) because THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE SWEET IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!!!!


I once ate a tube of that slice-'n'-bake chocoloate chip cookie dough and 
washed it down with a carton of half-and-half.

And I'm not sorry I did, either.

The amount of food I'd eat when I had the munchies amazes me.  I remember
many occasions when I had a full dinner at home, then went out partying with
friends.  We'd end up at McDonalds and I'd have a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder
With Cheese, a Filet O'Fish, large fries and a chocolate shake -- and I'd 
*still* be hungry when I finished eating it all.


Geoff


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  "Sometimes I wish I *were* the last man on earth, just to see if all those 
		      women were lying." -- Ben Fulton
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