From: cheshire@acca.nmsu.edu (In need of HOT food!)
Subject: Royal Rumble
Organization: New Mexico State University
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 05:49:18 GMT

Just a few comments about this evenings wonderful (NOT) event.
I have seen all the WWF Royal Rumbles up to this point, and this one
sucked (a lot).  Review:

Steiners vs. Beverly Brothers
Boy those Steiner Boys have some impressive moves, don't they?!  Too
bad a blind man with a dead seeing-eye dog could see the winner of this
one a mile away.  Steiners with the Frankensteiner.

Shawn Michels (sp?) vs. Marty Janetty
Actually a fairly entertaining match.  Michels put on a pretty good show, 
Janetty wasn't too bad, and there were several interesting moves.  I still,
however, am of the opinion that Sensationl Sherry should be taken out into the
field and shot.

Big Boss Man vs.  Bam Bam Bigelow
Well, it was a match.  It had two wrestlers (sort of), a couple of moves (and
only a couple), a beginning, and thankfully an end.  Bigelow wins. 
(BTW, Shawn Michels retained the IC-Title).

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramone (sp?)
Well wasn't this a fun match.  With the exception of having more moves,
same as the Boss Man/Bigelow match-up.  Hart retains title with the
Scorpian Shooter.

And now for the main event:  The ROYAL DISAPPOINTMENT (err . . . Rumble)
You know, I actually think that somewhere in McMoney's mind, there is a thought
process which causes him to take a cool idea and destroy it completely (yes,
I realize this is not particularly startling news).  The first two participants
were Ric "Why am I still here?" Flair and Bob "Boy, don't I look mentally 
handicapped" Bachlund (sp?)
  Flair is eventually eliminated by Perfect, and Bachlund is eventually 
eliminated by Yokozuna (I believe; correct me if I'm wrong, but I was almost
asleep at that point).  
Highlights:  El Gigante made his debut by randomly coming down to ringside 
and clobbering the Undertaker.  Gorilla and Bobby make a big deal out of how
Undertaker is man handled.  El Gigante eliminates Undertaker, even thought
he wasn't a participant (sigh).  Undertaker is eventually revived after being
beaten unconcious when Paul Bearer comes to ring side with the holy Urn.  
Although Undertaker is my favorite wrestler in the WWF, it is nice for him 
to have a bigger opponent so he doesn't look as stupid when he is forced to
lose.  And by the way, El Gigante's suit looks REALLY STUPID.
Also, I kind of liked the battle of the bulge (Earthquake vs. Yokozuna) for 
the entire fifteen to twenty seconds it lasted.  I also kind of liked Earthquakethrowing his own partner (Typhoon) over the top rope.  I like treachery.
Low Points:  Carlos Colon, Jerry Lawler, Bob Bachlund, Terry Taylor, 
Chico Santana, and Koko Beware.  None of these people are even in the least
bit interesting to watch, most of the fans never even heard of these guys (or
that random Japanese wrestler, who also wasn't that interesting).  
Overall, this is the worst Royal Rumble I have ever witnessed.  Yokozuna 
wins by throwing Randy Savage (who for some reason was going for a pin) over
the top rope.  
Overall a very disappointing event, considering it is the only PPV event that
I am regularly willing to pay for every year.  

Apologies if this report isn't very coherent.  It is my first such attempt.

One bright note:
THERE WAS NO FUCKING CLOWN!


Janetty wasn't too bad, and there were a lot of interesting moves.  

--
You remind me of a friend of mine,
but he has a human head.