From: ph111-bx@violet.berkeley.edu (;;;;7202)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.mst3k
Subject: Re: FAQL: STAR TREK MUSIC
Date: 15 Sep 1992 06:58:29 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: violet.berkeley.edu

In article <9209150505.AA00693@pserv.CFSMO.Honeywell.COM> Otto Heuer #3
<ottoh3@cfsmo.honeywell.com> writes:
|
|	 PERIODIC LIST OF STAR TREK MUSIC (last updated 7/15/92)
|
|"Theme from Star Trek" (The Original Series) 
|Lyrics by Gene Roddenberry 
| 
|     Beyond 
|          The rim of the star-light 
|     My love 
|          Is wand'ring in star-flight 
|     I know 
|          He'll find in star-clustered reaches 
|     Love 
|          Strange love a star woman teaches. 
|     I know 
|          His journey ends never 
|     His star trek 
|          Will go on forever. 
|     But tell him 
|     While he wanders his starry sea 
|          Remember, remember me. 
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"The Goodland"  1:05
|from TOS "The Way to Eden" 
|sung by Adam 
| 
|     Lookin' for the goodland, 
|          Goin' astray. 
|     Don't cry, 
|          Don't cry. 
|     Oh I can't have honey 
|          And I can't have cream 
|     Goin' live not die, 
|          Goin' live not die. 
|     Standin' in the middle of it all one day. 
|          Look at it shining around me and say. 
|     I'm here, 
|          I'm here. 
|     In the goodland, 
|          in the new land, 
|     I'm here. 
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"Hey Out There!" 2:35 
|from TOS "The Way to Eden" 
|sung by Adam and blonde female friend 
| 
|     I'm talkin' 'bout you, 
|          I'm talkin' 'bout me. 
|     Long time back when the galaxy was new. 
|     Man found out what he had to do. 
|     Found he had to eat and he found he had to drink, 
|          And a long time later he found he had to think. 
|     Yes, think. 
| 
|     [I'm standing here wondering -- What?] 
| 
|     If a man tells another man, 
|          How to mow hay.
|     He piles up trouble for himself all day. 
|     But all kinds of trouble will come to an end. 
|     When a man tells another man, 
|          Be my friend. 
|     My friend. 
| 
|     [Well what's it going to be?] 
| 
|     There's a mile wide emptiness, 
|          Between you and me. 
|     [Let's|Can't] reach across it, 
|          [On an even sea|Hardly even see]. 
|     Someone ought'a take a step, 
|          One way or other. 
|     Let's say goodbye, 
|          Or let's say brother. 
| 
|     Brother! 
|          Brother! 
|     Hey out there... 
|          Hey out there. 
|     Hey out there... 
|          Hey out there. 
|     I see you... 
|          I see you. 
|     I see you... 
|          I see you. 
| 
|     Let's get together and have some fun. 
| 
|     [I don't know how to do it, 
|          But it's gotta be done.] 
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"Heading Out to Eden" 1:35 
|from TOS "The Way to Eden" 
|sung by Adam and blonde female friend 
| 
|     Heading out to Eden, 
|          Yeah brother. 
|     Heading out to Eden, 
|
|     No more trouble 
|          In my body or my mind. 
|     Goin' to live like a king 
|          On whatever I find. 
|     Eat all the fruit 
|          And throw away the rind. 
|     Yeah brother, yeah. 
| 
|     Steppin' in to Eden, 
|          Yeah brother. 
|     Steppin' in to Eden, 
|          Yeah brother. 
|     No more trouble 
|          In my body or my mind. 
|     Goin' to live like a king 
|          On whatever I find. 
|     Eat all the fruit 
|          And throw away the rind. 
|     Yeah brother. 
| 
|note: The two verses are separated by dialogue.  The first half is sung slow, 
|      about 1:05.  The second is sung faster. 
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"Charlie's Song"
|from TOS "Charlie X"?
|sung by Uhura
|
|     Now on the Starship Enterprise
|          There [comes a man|is someone who's] in Satan's guise
|     Whose devil ears and devil eyes
|          Will rip your heart from you ...
|
|     At first his look will hypnotise
|          And then his touch will barbarize
|     His alien love will victimize
|          And rip your heart from you.
|
|     And that's why female astronauts 
|          [Are overcome and overwrought|Oh very female astronauts]
|     [Many a female astronaut|Wait terrified and over-wrought]
|          [They know not|To find out] what to he'll do.
|
|     Oh girls in space be wary
|          Be wary
|     Oh girls in space be wary
|          You know not what he'll do.
|
|     Now from a planet out in space
|     There comes a lad not commonplace
|     A-seeking out his first embrace
|          He's saving it for you.
|
|     Oh, Charlie's our new darling,
|          Our darling, our darling.
|     Charlie's our new darling
|          [He knows not what to do|We know not what he'll do]
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"The Friendly Angel Song" 
|from TOS "And The Children Shall Lead" 
|sung by The Children 
|
|     Hail, hail,
|          Fire and snow.
|     Call the angel
|          We will go.
|
|     Far away.
|          For to see.
|     Friendly Angel
|          Come to me.
|
|     Hail, hail,
|          Fire and snow.
|     Call the angel
|          We must go.
|
|     Far to come
|          Far to see
|     Friendly Angel
|          Come to me.
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"Beyond Antares"
|from TOS "Conscience of the King"
|sung by Uhura
|written (I think) by Gene Coon
|
|     The skies are green and glowing
|          Where my heart is,
|          Where my heart is,
|     Where the scented lunar flower is growing,
|          Somewhere beyond the stars,
|          Beyond Antares.
|
|     I'll be back
|          Though it takes forever.
|          Forever is just a day.
|     Forever is just another journey.
|          Tomorrow I'll stop along the way,
|
|     And let the years go fading
|          Where my heart is,
|          Where my heart is,
|     Where my love eternally is waiting,
|          Somewhere beyond the stars,
|          Beyond Antares.
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"Alexander's Song"
|from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
|sung by Alexander
|
|     Great pan sounds his horn 
|          Marking time to the rhyme
|     With his hoof, 
|          With his hoof.
|     Forward, forward in [our|his] plan,
|          We proceed as we began....
|     Brekekekex... brekekekex...
|          Kooax... kooax...
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"A Serenade From the Laughing Spaceman"
|from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
|sung by Spock
|
|     Take care young ladies and value your wine.
|          Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime.
|     Deeply they'll swallow from your finest kegs,
|          Then swiftly be gone, leaving bitter dregs.
|          Ah, bitter dregs.
|
|     Your time hold precious, for youth is your gold.
|          Your beauty, like silver, will tarnish when old.
|     Mem'ries and dreams shall comfort you not.
|          When the flow of your sweetness is gone and forgot.
|          Ah, gone and forgot.
|
|     With smiling words and tender touch,
|          Man offers little and asks for so much.
|     He['ll] love[s] in the breathless excitement of night,
|          [Then|And] leave[s] with your treasure in cold morning light.
|          Ah, [in] cold morning light.
|
|     Come all ye fair and tender girls
|          Who flourish in your prime,
|     Beware, beware, make your garden fair
|          Let no man steal your time, your time
|          Let no man steal your time.
|
|     A woman is a branched tree
|          And a man a singing wind,
|     And from her branches carelessly
|          He'll take what he can find, can find
|          He'll take what he can find.
|
|     And when your time has passed and gone,
|          He'll care no more for you,
|     And every day that your garden is waste,
|          Is covered all over with rue, with rue
|          Is covered all over with rue.
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|(untitled)
|from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
|sung by Kirk (and Spock?)
|
|     I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum.
|          We're spacemen marching to and from.
|     We slythe among the mimsy troves,
|          And tire among the borogroves.
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"Good Night Sweetheart"
|from TOS "City on the Edge of Forever"
|heard on radio (and melody continues throughout episode)
|
|     Good Night Sweetheart, tho' I'm not beside you
|          Good Night Sweetheart, still my love will guide you
|     Dreams enfold you, in each one I'll hold you
|          Good Night Sweetheart, Good Night.
|
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen"
|from TOS "The Naked Time"
|sung by Kevin Reiley (calling himself "O'Reiley")
|     
|     I'll take you home again, Kathleen,
|          Across the ocean wild and wide,
|     To where your heart has ever been,
|          Since first you were my bonnie bride.
|     The roses all have left your cheek,
|          I've watched them fade away and die;
|     Your voice is sad whene'er you speak,
|          And tears bedim your loving eyes.
|
|     Oh! I will take you back, Kathleen,
|          To where your heart will feel no pain,
|     And when the fields are fresh and green,
|          I'll take you to your home again.
|     (One More Time!!!)
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"Abdullah Bulbul Amir" 
|from TNG "Brothers" 
|sung by Lore (only a few lines) 
| 
|[version 1] 
|     The sons of the Prophet as valiant and bold, 
|          And quite unaccustomed to fear; 
|     And the bravest of all was a man, so I'm told 
|          Called Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
| 
|     When they wanted a man to encourage the van, 
|          Or harass the foe from the rear, 
|     Storm fort or redoubt, they were sure to call out 
|          For Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
| 
|     There are heroes in plenty, and well known to fame, 
|          In the legions that fight for the Czar; 
|     But none of such fame as the man by the name 
|          Of Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
| 
|     He could imitate Irving, tell fortunes by cards, 
|          And play on the Spanish guitar; 
|     In fact, quite the cream of the Muscovite guards, 
|          Was Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
| 
|     One day this bold Muscovite shouldered his gun, 
|          Put on his most cynical sneer, 
|     And was walking downtown when he happened to run 
|          Into Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
| 
|     "Young man," say Bulbul, "is existence so dull 
|          That you're anxious to end your career? 
|     Then, infidel, know you have trod on the toe 
|          Of Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
| 
|     "So take your last look at the sea, sky and brook, 
|          Make your latest report on the war; 
|     For I mean to imply that you are going to die, 
|          O Ivan Petrovsky Skovar." 
| 
|     So this fierce man he took his trusty chibouk, 
|          and murmuring "Allah Akbar!" 
|     With murder intent he most savagely went 
|          For Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
| 
|     The Sultan rose up, the disturbance to quell 
|          Likewise, give the victor a cheer. 
|     He arrived just in time to bid hasty farewell 
|          To Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
| 
|     A loud-sounding splash from the Danube was heard 
|          Resounding o'er meadows afar; 
|     It came from the sack fitting close to the back 
|          Of Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
| 
|     There lieth a stone where the Danube doth roll, 
|          And on it in characters queer 
|     Are "Stranger, when passing by, pray for the soul 
|          Of Abdullah Bulbul Amir." 
| 
|     A Muscovite maiden her vigil doth keep 
|          By the light of the pale northern star, 
|     And the name she repeats every night in her sleep 
|          Is Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
| 
|[version 2] 
|     The sons of the Prophet were brave men and bold, 
|          And quite unaccustomed to fear. 
|     But the bravest of all was a man I am told 
|          Named Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
| 
|     When they needed a man to encourage the van 
|          Or harass a foe from the rear. 
|     Storm fort or redoubt they had only to shout 
|          For Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
| 
|     This son of the desert in battle aroused 
|          Could split twenty men on his spear. 
|     A terrible creature when sober or soused 
|          Was Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
| 
|     The heroes were plenty and well known to fame 
|          That fought in the ranks of the Czar. 
|     But the greatest of these was a man by the name 
|          Of Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
| 
|     He could imitate Irving, play poker or pool 
|          And strum on the Spanish guitar. 
|     In fact quite the cream of the Muscovite team 
|          Was Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
| 
|     The ladies all loved him, his rivals were few 
|          He could drink them all under the bar. 
|     Come gallant or tank there was no one to rank 
|          With Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
| 
|     One day this bold Russian had shouldered his gun 
|          And donned his most truculent sneer. 
|     Downtown he did go where he trod on the toe 
|          Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
| 
|     "Young man", quoth Bulbul, "Has your life grown so dull 
|          That you're eager to end your career? 
|     Vile infidel know you have trod on the toe 
|          Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer." 
| 
|     "So take your last look at the sunshine and brook 
|          And send your regrets to the Czar. 
|     By this I imply you are going to die, 
|          Mr. Ivan Skavinsky Skivar." 
| 
|     Said Ivan, "My friend, your remarks in the end 
|          Will avail you but little, I fear. 
|     For you ne'er will survive to repeat them alive, 
|          Mr. Abdullah Bulbul Ameer." 
| 
|     Then this bold Mamalouk drew his trusty skibouk 
|          With a cry of "Allah Akbar". 
|     And with murderous intent he ferociously went 
|          For Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
| 
|     They parried and thrust, they sidestepped and cussed 
|          Of blood they spilled a great lot. 
|     The philologist blokes, who seldom crack jokes, 
|          Say that hash was first made on that spot. 
| 
|     They fought all that night 'neath the pale yellow moon, 
|          The din it was heard from afar. 
|     And multitudes came, so great was the fame, 
|          Of Abdul and Ivan Skivar. 
| 
|     As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life, 
|          In fact he had shouted, "Huzzah!" 
|     He felt himself struck by that wily Calmuck, 
|          Count Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
| 
|     The Sultan drove by in his red-crested fly, 
|          Expecting the victor to cheer. 
|     But he only drew nigh just to hear the last sigh 
|          Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
| 
|     Czar Petrovich too, in his spectacles blue 
|          Drove up in his new crested car. 
|     He arrived just in time to exchange a last line 
|          With Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
| 
|     A tomb rises up where the Blue Danube rolls, 
|          And 'graved there in characters clear, 
|     Is "Stranger when passing, oh pray for the soul 
|          Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer." 
| 
|     A splash in the Black Sea one dark moonless night, 
|          Caused ripples to spread near and far. 
|     It was made by a sack fitting close to the back 
|          Of Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
| 
|     A Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps, 
|          'Neath the light of the pale polar star. 
|     And the name that she murmurs so oft as she weeps 
|          Is Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
|---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
|"Star Trekkin'" 
|by "The Firm" (not the popular group, another one) 
| 
|     Chorus: 
|          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
|          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
|          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
|          Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
|
|     Lt. Uhura, report!
|
|     Uhura:
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow. 
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow, Jim.
| 
|     Analysis, Mr. Spock!
| 
|     Spock: 
|          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it. 
|          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it, Captain. 
| 
|     Uhura: 
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow. 
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow, again. 
| 
|     Chorus: 
|          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
|          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
|          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
|          Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse.
| 
|     Medical update, Doctor McCoy
| 
|     McCoy: 
|          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
|          Dead, Jim.
|          Dead, Jim.
|          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
|          Dead, Jim, Dead.
| 
|     Spock: 
|          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it. 
|          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it, Captain. 
| 
|     Uhura: 
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow. 
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow, Jim! 
| 
|     Starship Captain, James T. Kirk
| 
|     Kirk: 
|          Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
|          shoot to kill,
|          shoot to kill.
|          We come in peace, shoot to kill, 
|          shoot to kill, men. 
| 
|     McCoy: 
|          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
|          Dead, Jim.
|          Dead, Jim.
|          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
|          Dead, Jim, Dead.
| 
|     Spock: 
|          Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it. 
|          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
|          not as we know it, Captain. 
| 
|     Uhura: 
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow, 
|          starboard bow. 
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
|          scrape 'em off, Jim.
| 
|     Chorus: 
|          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
|          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk! 
|          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
|          Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse! 
| 
|     Engineer, Mister Scott
|
|     Scotty:
|          Ye canna change the laws of physics,
|          laws of physics,
|          laws of physics!
|          Ye canna change the laws of physics,
|          laws of physics, [yet|Jim]
|
|     Kirk:
|          Oh, we come in peace, shoot to kill,
|          shoot to kill,
|          shoot to kill!
|          We come in peace, shoot to kill,
|          Scotty, beam me up!
|
|     McCoy:
|          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
|          Dead, Jim!
|          Dead, Jim!
|          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
|          Dead, Jim, Dead!
|
|     Spock:
|          Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
|          not as we know it,
|          not as we know it.
|          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
|          not as we know it, Captain.
|
|     Uhura:
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
|          starboard bow,
|          starboard bow.
|          There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
|          starboard bow, aaagain!
|
|     Scotty: Ye canna change the script, Jim!  <garbled>
|
|     McCoy:  It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!
|
|     Kirk:   Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine!
|
|     Scotty: Ach!  If I give 'er any more she'll blow, Captain!
|
|     Scotty: Ye canna change the status of the (auxiliary) ax'l engine eh?!
|
|     <<boom>>
|
|     Na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na
|
|     Chorus:
|          Star Trekking, across the universe,
|          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
|          Star Trekking, across the universe,
|          Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse!
|
|          Star Trekking, across the universe,
|          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
|          Star Trekking, across the universe,
|          Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse!
|
|          We come in peace, shoot to kill.
|
|[ there's also the EP version which has a few more verses --ed ]
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Some local stations showed a comercial for TNG:
|(Sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by B. Joel)
|
|     Jean Luc,
|     Geordi's Specs,
|     Mysteries on the Holodecks
|
|     Asteroids,
|     Triple Droids,
|     Telepathic Betazoids
|
|     Transporter
|     Deadly Claw
|     Visitor from LA Law
|
|     Photons,
|     No Kirk,
|     Captain has gone berzerk
|
|     Shuttlecraft,
|     Counselor Troy,
|     Doctor Crusher's little boy
|
|     Klingon Rites,
|     Parasites,
|     New Heights,
|     Phasor Fights,
|     Data's Head,
|     Tasha's Dead,
|     Riker's Hangin' by a thread
|
|     Celebration,
|     Transformation,
|     Everyone to battle stations
|
|     We didn't start the series,
|     It's the Next Generation
|     on your favorite station
|
|     We didn't start the series,
|     But when we are gone it will
|     still be on and on and on...
|
|     We didn't start the series...
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|"The Minstril Boy"
|Sung by O'Brien with his captain
|from TNG "The Wounded"
|
|     The minstrel boy to the war has gone,
|          In the ranks of death you will find him.
|     His father's sword he hath girded on,
|          And his wild harp slung behind him.
|
|     Lands of songs said the warrior-bard,
|          Though all the world bestrays thee.
|     One sword at least thy rights shall guard,
|          One faithful harp shall praise thee.
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|"Come Cheer Up My Lads"
|Sung by Picard's clone (in Ten Forward)
|from TNG "Allegiance"
|
|     Come cheer up my lads, 'tis to glory we steer,
|          To add something new to this wonderful year;
|     To honour we call you, not press you like slaves,
|          For who are so free as the sons of the waves?
|
|     Heart of Oak are our ships, Heart of Oak are our men,
|          We always are ready.
|     Steady, boys, steady,
|          We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.
|
|     We ne'er meet our foes but we wish them to stay,
|          They never see us but they wish us away;
|     If they run, why, we follow, and run them ashore,
|          For if they won't fight us, we cannot do more.
|
|     Heart of Oak are out ships, Heart of Oak are our men,
|          We always are ready.
|     Steady, boys, steady,
|          We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|"Banned from Argo" (there are a few variations in different versions)
|by Leslie Fish
|
|     When we pulled into Argo  in search of R & R
|          Our crew set out investigating every joint and bar
|     We had high expectations of their hospitality
|          But found too late it wasn't geared for spacers such as we
|
|     CHORUS:
|     And we're...banned from Argo, every one
|          Banned from Argo, just for having a little fun
|     We spent a jolly shore leave there for just 3 days or 4
|          But Argo doesn't want us anymore
|
|     Our captain's tastes were simple but his methods were complex
|          He found him with five partners, each of a different world and sex
|     The shore police were on the way, we had no second chance
|          We beamed him up in the nick of time in the remnants of his pants
|
|     CHORUS
|
|     Our engineer would yield to none in putting down the brew
|          He outdrank 7 space marines and a demolition crew
|     The navigator didn't win but he outdrank almost all
|          And now they've got a shuttlecraft on the roof of city hall
|
|     CHORUS
|
|     Our proper, cool first officer was drugged with something green
|          And hauled into an alley where he suffered things obscene
|     He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear
|          Except he somehow taught the bridge computer how to swear
|
|     CHORUS
|
|     The head nurse disappeared a while in the major [dope] bazaar
|          Buying an odd green liquid guaranteed to cause Pon-farr.
|     She came home with no uniform, and an oddly cheerful heart
|          And a painful way of walking with her feet a yard apart
|
|     CHORUS
|
|     Our lady of communications won a ship-wide bet
|          By getting into the planet's main communications net
|     Now, every time someone calls upon an Argo telescreen
|          The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen
|          (Yaah!)
|
|     CHORUS
|
|     Our doctor loves humanity, his private life is quiet
|          The shore police arrested him for inciting whores to riot.
|     They found him in the city jail, locked on and beamed him free
|          Intact except for hickies, and 6 kinds of V.D.
|
|     CHORUS
|          (Gee, I wonder why?)
|
|     Our helmsman loves exotic plants, and the plants all love him too
|          He took some down on leave with him, and we wondered what they'd do
|     Till the planetary governor called and swore upon his life
|          That a gang of plants entwined his house, and then seduced his wife
|
|     CHORUS
|
|     A gang of pirates landed and nobody seemed to care
|          They stomped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there
|          (We're here!)
|     Half our crew was busy there and invited them to play
|          The pirates only looked at us, and turned and ran away
|
|     CHORUS
|
|     Our crew is Starfleet's finest, and our record is our pride
|          And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide
|     We're sorry 'bout the wreckage and the riots and the fuss
|          At least we're sure that planet won't be quick forgetting us
|
|     CHORUS
|          (I wonder why?)
|          (Did we do something wrong?)
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|"Twenty Years of Pointy Ears"
|(sung to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again")
|
|     From sixty-six to sixty-nine
|          There was a show
|     About the Starship Enterprise
|          As we all know
|     With funny ears, and Beetle boots,
|          And phaser guns that WE COULD SHOOT,
|     But Trek... got... canned...
|          'Cause the ratings were so low.
|
|     Letters from the fans didn't get
|          The show's fourth season on,
|     The Star Trek crew, now unemployed,
|          Made cash at sci-fi cons.
|     When the ranks of Trekkies grew and grew,
|          We noticed that some fans do to,
|     'Cause they nibble... just like tribbles...
|          While they're watching Trek re-runs.
|
|     The fans all got together for
|          A new write-in campaign,
|     To get a TV movie made,
|          But not one like "Spock's Brain"!
|     The network told them "GO TO HELL!",
|          But then found Star Trek toys sold well;
|     But there's... no... mar... ket
|          In sci-fi films today.
|
|     (Just then when things seemed darkest,
|      There was a light... saber.)
|
|     The highest grossing movie in the
|          World is called Star Wars;
|     They read through the old Star Trek scripts, then
|          Wrote one that's a bore.
|     Star Trek: The Motion Picture's trash, but
|          It should make a lotta cash:
|     The crew will wear pajamas
|          And we'll make one of them bald.
|
|     (It's making money!  Quick!  Let's make a sequel!)
|     <Well, we have this other old script called... what is it?>
|     (Space Seed?)
|     <Yeah, Ricardo Montalban just happens to be on the back lot doing a
|          Cordoba commercial -- [de plane! de plane!] -- so you know what
|          that means, don't you?>
|     [Duh, what?]
|
|     STAR... TREK... TWO!!!
|
|     We'll kill off Khan, and kill off Spock, and
|          Make them cry, you'll see!
|     We'll sell them Star Trek handkerchiefs, and
|          then make Star Trek three!
|     Kirk has a wife, and has a son; we'll
|          Sell them dolls of everyone.
|     Janiss... iss... is a bomb that's lots of fun.
|     ... Unlike Star Trek one.
|
|     (Shut up!)
|
|     Hey, wait a minute, looky here, there's
|          Money to be made
|     On model kits and other shit like
|          Gum cards they can trade;
|     They'll wonder if Spock's dead, ya see; we'll
|          Sell the rights to PAY TEE VEE,
|     And with... the... mo... ney, we'll make Star Trek three.
|
|     (Great.  Just great.  Now Nimoy won't come back!)
|     <Bribe him.  Tell him he can direct it.>
|     (But he's dead, Jim!)
|     <As a director too, but don't worry; people will come just to see
|          if Spock lives, bless his little pointy-ears.>
|
|     STAR... TREK... THREE!!!
|
|     With Captain Kirk, and Mister Spock, and
|          Doc... Mick... Coy,   (Oh boy!)
|     With Scotty, Checkov, UH-hoo-rah, and
|          Soo... loo... too,  (Oh boy!)
|     And Saavik's gonna join the crew, but
|          Not the one from Star Trek Two,
|     And May... jell... who... is Roddenberry's wife.
|
|     It took a while, but Paramount has
|          Now... turned... face,
|     With Indy films, and Trek films about
|          Ou... ter... space;
|     Trek Four will make their wallets fat, with
|          Trek time-trips and Saavik's brat:
|     An an... ni... ver... s'ry gift for all the fans!
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|[ anyone have the lyrics to:
|     any of the other songs (like Uhura's, for example) in TOS
|     the song Nichelle sung in ST5? --ed ]
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Other Star Trek songs can be found at grind.icaen.uiowa.edu in the
|/info/humor/Filk directory.
|
|Firebird Arts and Music (1-800-752-0494) sells several  well-done Star Trek
|tapes:  _Spock  Rock_,  _Star  Trek:    The  Unofficial  Comedy Album_, and
|_Border Patrol_.  _Border  Patrol_, if  you haven't  heard all  the songs a
|hundred times before hand like  some of  us, is  an awesome  tape.  They're
|working on a new Star Trek  music tape  to be  released later  this year or
|next year called _To Boldly Go_.
|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Both Shatner and Nimoy have  attempted to  sing and  have a  few albums out
|(from the early 70s, I believe).   They are  *extremely* bad  and only good
|for comic relief.
|
|Nichelle Nichols originally  sang the  tune Uhura  was singing  in ST5, but
|TPTB decided a few days before the  film was  released to  dub in Hiroshima
|singing the song.
|
|Brent Spiner has an  album out  titled something  like "Old  Yellow Eyes is
|Back"
|
|The band  T'Pau  (named after  the Vulcan  priestess from  TOS "Amok Time")
|claim they are not Star Trek  fans; they  just liked  the name.   DJs enjoy
|putting a few lines from "Amok Time" during the opening of  the song "Heart
|and Soul"  (McCoy:    "Do you  know who  that is?   That's  T'Pau!"  T'Pau:
|"Thees ees da Voolcan heart; thees ees da Voolcan soul...")
|
|The Minneapolis band (now  based in  New York)  "Information Society" likes
|putting Star Trek quotes in their  songs.   "Pure Energy"  had Spock's line
|"pure energy" (from the "Errand of Mercy") in it (and later releases of the
|song have McCoy saying something like "we're not out of this yet"), "Think"
|has Kirk saying "Think about it" (from "Mirror, Mirror"), "Something in the
|Air" has a  long scream  (apparently taken  from TOS),  and there's another
|song (the name  escapes me)  that has  a line  from Spock,  Scott, or both.
|Adam Nimoy (Leonard's son) is a fan and friend of the group.
|
|Leonard Nimoy was on the cover of the Bangles' first album.  He was also in
|one or two of their videos from that album.
|
|Susan Vega has a reference to Star Trek in one of her songs.
|
|The German  band  Nena  mentions  "Captain Kirk"  in their  songs "99 Luft-
|balloons" and "99 Red Balloons".
|
|On the Cover of the CD/LP Cassandra Complex  - "Theomania";  SPV CD 85-7268
|there is a picture of the TOS Enterprise above the new York skyline.
|
|Captain of the Starship - Canadian pressing of William Shatner-Live!  2 12"
|LP album.
|
|Captain of  the  Starship  - another  Canadian pressing  of William Shatner
|Live!  2 12" LP album, K-TEL Record, #9400.
|
|The Green Hills of Earth and Gentlemen, Be Seated - Robert A Heinlein, read
|by Leonard Nimoy, 12"LP, Caedmon Records #TC 1526.
|
|Halley's Comet:    Once  in a  Lifetime -  narrated by  LN, audio cassette,
|Caedmon Cassette #S1788, 1986.
|
|The Illustrated Man -  Ray Bradbury,  read by  LN, 12"  LP, Caedmon Records
|#TC1479.
|
|Inside Star Trek - Gene Roddenberry, Columbia Records, #34279.
|
|The Martian Chronicles - Ray Bradbury, read by LN, 12" LP, Caedmon Records,
|#TC1466.
|
|Mimsy Were the Borogoves - Henry Kuttner, read by William  Shatner, 12" LP,
|Caedmon Records, #TC1509.
|
|The Mysterious Golem - narrated by LN, 12" LP, JRT Records.
|
|The Psychohistorians - read by WS, 12" LP, Caedmon Records, #TC1508
|
|Star Fleet  Beat, Phasers  on Stun  - special  20th anni.,  12" LP, Penguin
|Records.
|
|The Star Trek Philosophy and Star Trek Theme -  GR, from  Inside Star Trek,
|7" 45rpm, Columbia Records, #3-10448.
|
|Star Trek Tapes - press recordings, Jack M Sell.
|
|Sterling Bronsan:  Space Engineer - Inter Audio Associates,  parody on four
|cassettes.
|
|The Transformed Man - performed by WS, 12" LP, Decca Records, #DL75043.
|
|The Transformed Man and How Insensitive - from  The Transformed  Man, 7" LP
|45rpm, Decca Records, #32399
|
|Trek Bloopers - 3rd season TOS, 12" LP, Blue Pear Records, #1.
|
|Voice Tracks, USMC Toys for Tots - readings by LN and others, 7" 33 1/3rpm,
|Warner Bros.-Sevent Arts Records, #PRO381.
|
|The Voyage of Star Trek - The Source, promotional copy, 12" LP 1982.
|
|The War of the Worlds - H.G.  Wells, read by  LN, 12"  LP, Caedmon Records,
|#TC1520.
|
|William Shatner-Live! - 2 record album, Lemli Records, #9400.
|
|Beyond Antares  and  Uhura's  Theme  -  Nichelle  Nichols,  7" 45rpm, R-Way
|Records, #RW-1001.
|
|Consilium and Here We Go 'Round Again - sung by LN from The Way  I Feel, 7"
|45rpm, Dot Records, #45-17175.
|
|Dark Side of the Moon - sung by NN, 2 7" LP 45rpm, Americana Records, EP-1.
|
|Disco Trekin' and Star Child  - sung  by Grace  Lee Whitney,  7" 45rpm, GLW
|Star Enterprises.
|
|Down to Earth - sung by NN, 12" LP, Epic Records, #BNZ6351.
|
|Leonard Nimoy Presents Mr.  Spock's Music from Outer  Space (DOT)  - by LN,
|12" LP, Dot Records, #DLP25794. - British version, diffusion, 1973, #25156.
|
|The New World of Leonard Nimoy - 12" LP, Dot Records, #DLP 25966.
|
|Outer Space/Inner Mind - 2  record set  combines amny  LN works,  2 12" LP,
|Paramount Records Famous Twinsets PAS, 2-1030.
|
|Please Don't Try To Change My Mind and I'd Love Making Love to You  - by LN
|from The Way I Feel, 7" 45rpm, Dot Records, #45-17125.
|
|Space Odyssey - cuts from LN Dot Records, Pickwick/33 Records, #SPC3199.
|
|The Sun Will Rise and Time to Get it Together - by LN from The New World of
|Leonard Nimoy, 7" 45rpm, Dot Records, #45-17330.
|
|Take a Star Trip - GLW, 45rpm.
|
|The Touch of Leonard Nimoy - LN, Dot Records, #DLP25910.
|
|Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy - 12" LP, Dot Records, #DLP25835.
|
|Uhura Sings - AR-Way Productions, album or cassette, 1986.
|
|Visit to  a Sad  Planet -  LN from  Mr Spock's  Music from  Outer Space, 7"
|45rpm, Dot Records, #17038, 1967.  (also cassette)
|
|The Way I Feel - LN, 12" LP, Dot Records, #DLP25883. (also reel to reel).
|
|
|
|
|Mail additions and corrections to ottoh@cfsmo.honeywell.com.
|
|						--Otto "HACK-MAN" Heuer
|--
|C, Pascal, Fortran, BASIC, Assembly Language, Snobol, Ada, APL, Prolog, LISP
|Unix, MS-DOS, ProDOS       .  .   .   .... .  .   .   .   .   .   . Audio/Video
|ottoh@cfsmo.honeywell.com  :..: .:.:. :    :.' .. :`.': .:.:. :`. :   Star Trek
|hackman@pnet51.orb.mn.org  :  : :   : :... : `.   :   : :   : :  `:  Apple IIgs
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