From: gery@midway.uchicago.edu (Black Pearl)
Subject: Re: Overt paedophilia IS sexual abuse (Re: sex/power)
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 17:26:41 GMT

In article <2462@keele.keele.ac.uk>, csz55@seq1.keele.ac.uk (Christopher Wrigley) writes:
> 
> From article <1847@transfer.stratus.com>, by Laurie Mann:
> => Christopher Wrigley writes
> 				<material I wrote...>
> 
> => I find what you wrote extremely bothersome.  For those of us 
> => who were sexually abused as children, it is impossible to view
> => overt paedophilia as anything BUT child sexual abuse.  
> => Period.  End of discussion.
> 
> Laurie, I am so sorry you have found it bothersome.  I never really
> intended to use this newsgroup as a forum to cite clinical positions
> in a recovery group.  I received much encouragement/requests for
> information (I will get around to it all)  via email from members of
> this group.  Perhaps they do not want to publically request that I
> continue. This is the first 'negative' response I have received.
> Do others feel I am wrong to express such opinions/discussion here.
> If so, I will withdraw.
> 
> My intentions are NOT to make anyone feel bad.  I do not think that
> discussing such issues here will honestly impede one's recovery, on
> the contrary I very much feel that becoming knowledgeable and aware
> of _how and _why all this occurs may increase one's understanding of
> their personal abuse and, perhaps, fit some of the pieces of the
> jigsaw together.  Eg. A person may read something that I write and say,
> "Ah, so _that's why I did this", or "...he did that", or ".... I feel
> like this now".  Do you see?
> 
> Having said this, I am a psychologist. I am not a therapist. I deal in
> facts, not therapeutic help. My opinions and ideas may be painful. To
> the best of my knowledge they are true. I will always tell you when
> they are my _own opinions. However, I respect this group and the members
> hereof. I will endeavor to be careful what I say. I love constructive
> critisisms, I welcome ideas. I HATE flames, though if I am ever out of
> line I would expect you to point this out to me.

While it may be true that discussions of the type you wish to encourage
will not "honestly impede one's recovery," I would argue that for people
at certain points in their recovery, it might be extremely threatening.

I may have missed a post or something here, but it sounds like you want
to talk about adult-child sex in cases where you believe it is not 
abusive. Certainly you have the right to have and encourage such 
discussions, but because =this= group is about sexual =abuse=, then
I would suggest this isn't the appropriate forum. Some day, I might
be interested (read ready) to hear what you have to say. Right now,
I can't see how such discussions have anything to do with "abuse" or
"recovery", only with the "sexual" part of our name. This forum isn't
really about adult-child sex even though many people come here to deal
with experiences of childhood sexual assault (for us it's about, again,
abuse and recovery).

So, no intention to flame you, =my= opinion is that these conversations
should be held in a different forum. That way, you reduce the risk of
flaming for yourself (selves), and if the day ever comes when I am
curious enough about the kind of people who do such things that I want
to learn more, there will be a place I can go to to do so, but it will
be =my= choice, and that's important to abuse survivors.

Black Pearl