From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Subject: Re: Shields UP, Mr. Worf!
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
Date: 28 Aug 1992 17:16 EST  

If you've seen this already and were upset by it, I'll protect you from 
reading this anger again...

Press `n' now to move on ...



In article <392@asylum.UUCP>, sandro@asylum.UUCP (Sandro Wallach) writes...
>*** SPOILER: IRRATIONAL BUT NECESSARY WOMEN HATING ***
> 

Irrational, unjustified, but ya gotta get all that hate out, I agree !

>Someone writes:
> 
>>I'm scared and I hurt and I hate women so much for manipulating me and
>>hurting me and then laughing at me while I bleed. 
> 
>Me too.

But it's not gender specific, fellas. Trust me, it goes both ways. 

> 
> 
>>I hate women with their smugness and "I can screw any man I want"
>>attitudes and "you're not tall enough/rich enough/classy enough"
>>bullshit.

But can we admit that seeds of that exist in all of us ? That is the first 
step in forgiving others for cruel behavior, and for *me* forgiveness is 
the first step in personal healing. As always, your mileage may vary.

> 
>I hate women with their fake "you're not good enough" and fake "you're
>so wonderful" attitudes, back and forth, when they feel like confusing
>and hurting me.  

The scary part is, often it's not fake. Often they believe it. People who 
pull this trick are skilled in recognizing someone with low self-esteem and 
they use that weakness to further some personal agenda. The only defense 
against it is to start realizing that you are worth something ... worth a 
*lot*, actually ! when you no longer tie your self-image to others, you 
will have come a long way towards healing.

>I hate women who think I owe them respect, affection, and support just 
>because they are women.  

I feel that we owe respect, affection, and support to all people *until* 
they prove themselves to be unworthy of it. Gender isn't an issue. for 
instance, your sadness demands my response until you prove otherwise.

>I hate women who are immune from my anger because they are women, and 
>especially because they are my sister or mother.
> 

Believe me, there is *no one* that is immune to anger. People hide it, or 
cope, or mask it with their own anger, self-righteousness, or aloofness, 
but anger settles in the gut of anyone you direct it against. They probably 
just deal with it later when nobody can see and exploit *their* weakness. 

> 
>>People are selfish cold jerks who only care about themselves.  

Again, *all* people display the above characteristics under the right 
circumstances. I am not trying to invalidate your anger... it *is* very
much justified, I am sure, and it's good you're expressing and purging, but 
you need to also work on issues that will head off the incidents that lead 
to this kind of anger.

>>I think I'll retire from the human race.


I *don't* believe that's an option. In the meantime, a friend turned me on 
to James Kavanaugh... let me give you one of his works to ease your 
tortured soul. You *will* identify with this one, trust me.


==============================
There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves
by James Kavanaugh

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
who prey upon them with IBM eyes
and sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon

There are men too gentle for a savage world
who dream instead of snow and children and Halloween
and wonder if the leaves will change their color soon.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
who anoint them for burial with greedy claws
and murder them for a merchant's profit and gain.

There are men too gentle for a corporate world
who dream instead of candied apples and ferris wheels
and pause to hear the distant whistle of a train.

There are men too gentle to love among wolves
who devour them with eager appetite and search
for other men to prey upon and suck their childhood dry.

There are men too gentle for an accountants world
who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
and search for beauty in the mystery of the sky.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves
who toss them like a lost and wounded dove.

Such gentle men are lonely in a merchant's world
unless they have a gentle one to love.



It is the wolves you hate... it just so happens that you've come in contact 
with female wolves recently, but they *do* come in the male variety as well.

> 
>I could write some linguistic asbestos, but f**k it.
> 

If you meant something to *guard* against the flames, well sometimes these 
fires purge the soul. If you meant some flames of your own, it is a 
catharsis of sorts to write out your anger and share it. I wish you both 
some peace in your lives and, at least for a time, the love of a kindred 
soul. Once you experience this, you will never again condemn a gender.

-- Stephen

	"Some people live their dreams, some people close their eyes.
	 Some people's destiny... passes by"

					"I'll Be Over You"   -- Toto