HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: daq@fc.hp.com (Doug Quarnstrom)
Subject: Re: testing tin
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 23:56:46 GMT
Organization: SPUGE
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.8 PL6]

Edmund Schweppe (schweppe@acs.bu.edu) wrote:
: da Geck' writes: (quoting doug)
: 
: [Rie and Starknight's metal puns deleted]
: 
: >>The next person that puns in response to this post is a dead man,
: >>unless, of course, it is a woman, in which case the appropraite
: >>gender substitution can be made.
: 
: >"You zinc that'll stop me?"
: 
: Rie also replies to doug:
: 
: >Aww, come on, doug.  It sodium little joke.  have we lead you to believe
: >that we were making fun of you??  We're being as good as gold.  have a
: >good day and don't take any wooden nickels.
: 
: Merlinvin chuckles.  "Guess the punsters here are too brassy to be
: deterred by mere threats.  Oh, weld, doug, it looks like you have
: to kill either da Geck' or Rie - solder be interesting to watch..."
: 
: "Or am I boron everybody?"


That is it, you miserable wretches.  I have dispatched a
battalion of bloodstorm troopers to deal with this irreverence.
They will not be as kind as I am reputed to be.  Oh, they 
will announce their arrival in the interstices between virtuality
and reality.  Expect to hear them first in your dreams.
When you begin seeing them out of the corner of your eye, you
will know that they are close and that your time to pun is short.

Mene Mene Tekel AND Upharsin.

doug

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mwasson@nyx.cs.du.edu (Gecko-boy)
Subject: did someone say lizard?
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 93 18:28:25 GMT

>doug writes:
>>Feed the lizard?
>
>>I do hope it will not be considered too boorish for me to 
>>point out the extremely euphemistic sound of that phrase.

Gecko-boy frowns. "I see nothing boorish about it at all."

;-)

--
Mike Wasson (Gecko-boy)           |         U Hawai'i/Fat Messiah Games
mwasson@uhunix.uhcc.hawaii.edu    |         #include <std_disclaimer.h>
"The concatenation of 'dog' and 'house' is 'doghouse.'"
From: lower-tony@cs.yale.edu (Tony Lower)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Crash space in Pittsburgh?
Date: 22 Jan 1993 10:42:51 -0500
Organization: Yale University Computer Science Dept., New Haven, CT 06520-2158
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: jaguar.zoo.cs.yale.edu

  Hi, it's Manx again.

  I've suddenly taken a desire to go to CostumeCon, which is
Feb. 12-15 in Pittsburgh.  I was wondering if there was anyone
with whom I could crash for the evenings of the 12-14th, so
as to avoid paying the outrageous hotel bills.

  Anyway, that's all I had to say.

						-- Manx
From: eesshlgb@gdr.bath.ac.uk (S H L G Bisson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Culinary Peculiarities
Date: 27 Jan 93 10:14:22 GMT
Organization: School of Electrical Engineering, University of Bath, UK

In the referenced article, hilp@hfglobe.intel.com (Robin Rosenbaum) writes:
>I think this is a regional usage.  Like cider: In the USA it's non-
>alcoholic unless it's called "hard" cider.  I've heard that elsewhere
>"cider" refers to an alcoholic beverage.  (Is that right? I've never
>actually tried ordering any when travelling, I guess.)

"You'd better be careful if you ever come here to Somerset (I don't believe
in Edward Heath's new-fangled counties!) - the cider (or `zyder') is lethal!

"In fact, the real old timers have the really rough stuff with a splash of
orange cordial... Which actually tastes quite pleasant!"

Ignatz grins, and wanders off back to have a look through the supplement to
the ACME catalogue...

----Ignatz Mouse/Simon H Le G Bisson----net.jerriais----Reunite Pangaea!------
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk (Clive Grace)
Subject: Re: YET ANOTHER DELURKING
Reply-To: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 16:59:00 +0000


> I'm also a serious music addict, particularly old English
> and Celtic folk music, and I like to jump feet first into discussions when
> I haven't the faintest clue what I'm talking about."

Tanais doffs his hat in the direction of Magda and makes a mental 
note to post her something nice soon -- as for Chip, well... come 
over to this side of the bar my friend and tell us whet you'd like -- 
pary, do you play yourself? We seem to have the roots of a neat (and 
quite furry) folk band starting up over here.
+-------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  ..    "When I grow up, I want to stop being a computer journalist|
| .OO.    and learn how to write."                                  |
| O/\O                                                              |
|  --                              Tanais - friend to all furkindred|
+-------------------------------------------------------------------+
|cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk | Bisexual knitter of quality since 1992|
+-------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: A Sudden Crisis Next Door
Date: 27 Jan 93 03:33:15 GMT
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi

Rie writes:
>Suddenly, the group hug seems much larger.  This could have something to do 
>with the unexpected entrance of two beings who each outmass most of the patrons
>put together.  The merriment subsides as the callahanians look up, and up, and
>UP at these guys.

    "But not taller than I can be, " Linda.

>All callahaners with weapons reach for them instantly, wondering why this had 
>to happen right on the tails of this alien thing, but then they notice Rie 
>standing between them.  Only because he's waving frantically, though.  If you
>thought he was an unprepossessing character surrounded by assorted anthropomor-
>phic mammalia...  Anyway, Rie calls out loudly (loudly, Rie??) from atop a gro-
>wing stack of soapboxes.

    "In many ways, I am a weapon, many many ways, " Linda.

    "Relax Linda, thats an Order, " Commodore DJ.

>"Calm down, everyone.  Please, calm down.  This is Dragonel (gesturing at the 
>gold dude) and this is... oh, I forget his name.  Anyway, they are regulars 
>and bouncers at the Taiwan On.  We need to talk with Slash."

   "Are you sure ??" Linda.

   "Of course, " DJ.

>"I'll say!  Stargazer's gone.  (different one, folx)  All was as usual, and 
>then Tilto saw something flash by and she was nowhere.  Nobody else saw a d**n
>thing.  No doors opening, no prior warning, nothing.  You know what that 
>means."
[snip]
>The four rush out the door, Slash muttering something about a bartender's work
>is never done.  On the way out, Rie calls back.
[snip]
>And the door slams shut.

 { and robbie quietly puts away his 'planet buster' blaster, set to 'stun' 
   it was... don't worry, extremly focused beam, multiple nodes... }

   Mike notices and says, " Hey ! Watch it with that thing !"

   "No problem Mike, no problem," Robbie. { who 'knew' they were arriving }.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                      Video. Peter Gabriel: Steam 
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: A hectic look at the life of an active bibliophile...
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 01:12:15 GMT

In article <1993Jan27.134715.10725@gdr.bath.ac.uk> eesshlgb@gdr.bath.ac.uk (S H L G Bisson) writes:
>"Worth it, too! Mary found a large pile of Peter Cheney crime novels, I found
>one of the Daniel Keys Morans I'm looking for (anyone seen _Emerald Eyes_ or
>_The Ring_? - as those are the two I need to find!). 

Mmm... I can find Emerald Eyes for you pretty easily.  I'll send it and
we'll be even on books.  :)  How's that?

Oops.  Looks like I'll need to ask for your address again, though...

>"Then yesterday afternoon I had a phone call from a friend in Bath Sf. Anne
>Rice was to be talking and signing in Bristol that night... We managed to
>get together a car load, and wandered off to hear the author of the Vampire
>Chronicles discuss her work - and to get our books signed!

Cool.  Neat. 

>Ignatz picks up the copy of _The Hacker Crackdown_ that lies beside his chair.
>
>"Better finish this by tomorrow..."
>
>He grins at MaryTail, and returns to his reading.

Grin.  :)

-- 
Phyllis Rostykus     | "... and how you feel can make it real 
aka Liralen Li       |      Real as anything you've seen... "
li@Data-IO.com       |	                         Peter Gabriel _US_
From: ekho@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (amanda rothman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: /*'s vegetarianism
Date: 24 Jan 93 01:33:22 GMT
Organization: Cybernet BBS, Boca Raton, Florida

mjmh@crsa.bu.edu (Michael J M Holmes) writes:

> In article <107462@bu.edu> schweppe@acs.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe) writes:

> The purple face contorts.  "Merlinvin, I have to admit I don't know
> much about C or C-plus-plus - but someone named // would seem
> to be a rather tough customer!!"

  "Whereas someone named ** would be somewhat more friendly; so open-minded
that it's drafty.  Reminds me of someone I know," Amanda grins

              Yours in Time and Space
From: siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu (Karl Siewert)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Identity crisis.
Date: 24 Jan 1993 14:34:41 -0600
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: matt.ksu.ksu.edu
Summary: These two guys show up and explain a few things to y'all.
Keywords: oh fuck dave

suddenly, a glass is lofted from the bar to smash ownerless against 
the fireplace.  a shaky mental apparition/hologram appears in the 
center of the bar.  a haggard looking slash speaks directly to kitten.

<I JUST WANTED TO CLEAR UP A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING.  KITTEN POSTED 
A REPLY TO KARL/RIE, THAT WAS WRITTEN BY YOURS TRULY.  THE SCAM IS
THUS, I AM SLASH MARAUD.  I AM A TOTALLY DIFFERENT ENTITY THAN JAMES 
RIEKAR.  I HAVE A DIFFERENT RL IDENTITY, THAT OF KARL'S BEST BUD IN
THE NINE HELLS.  THE POINT BEING, IN ORDER TO KEEP THINGS STRAIGHT
I, MATTHEW/SLASH, TYPE IN ALL CAPS, WITH LOWERCASE NARRATION.  
ANYWAYS, THE PROBLEM CAME WHEN THE RL ME SAID SOMETHING, I THINK.
ANYWAYS AGAIN, KARL/RIE SHOULD NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING
THAT I SAY.  I AM NOT A PERSONA. I AM A MAN. TO PARAPHRASE JOHN MERRILL.
RIE?> (OKAY, NOW HAND IT TO ME.)

The image wavers for a minute, then perspective shifts wildly and you hear a 
loud THUNK.  You are staring at a beamed ceiling.

<D**MIT, RIE, YOU DROPPED THE CAMERA.  STUPID RANGERS.>

Perspective shifts again, and you are looking at the familiar leather-clad Rie.

"Uh, hi, folx.  Are you sure it's on??  I don't think..."  <JUST SHUT UP AND 
GET ON WITH IT, WILLYA??>  "Oh, okay, yeah, umm.  Anyway, the deal is, he's me
and I'm him... No, sorry that's not the deal.  I'm all mixed up.  Ya see,
I kept telling my friend Slash that this newsgroup stuff was really cool.  He 
wouldn't believe me, so I had to show him.  Problem is, this Unix system has 
no net access.  It takes about a week and a hlf to get on matt@ksu.  So,I 
graciously offered to let him use my <THERE'S A TIME FOR VERBOSITY, RIE, AND 
THIS AIN'T IT.  ANYWAYS, HE SHOWED ME, I'M ADDICTED, AND I WON'T HAVE 
MY OWN ACCOUNT FOR A COUPLE WEEKS, SO TO HELP RELIEVE THE LOGJAM OF 
KARL SIEWERT POSTS, WE'RE LURKING.>

"Uhh, right, yeah.  So, we'll be around & stuff, but we'll try to be quiet."
<REAL QUIET>
"Yeah, like small rodents."
<REALLY, AND WE MEAN THAT>

the camera falls sideways as the image of Slash and Rie walks into the 
sunset chanting
1,2,3,4
5,6,7,8
schlimeiel slimazel
hasenpfeffer incorporated.
And then the theme music starts....
-- 
/               James Riekar, barhopping yoyist, at your service              \
Impersonated at Fort Hays State by Karl G. Siewert, pretending to be at K-State
\                      address=siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu                       /
 \           Never underestimate the power of the truly eccentric.           /
From: narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: testing tin
Date: 22 Jan 1993 17:46:29 GMT
Organization: UH Dept of Math
NNTP-Posting-Host: casc.math.uh.edu

Rie writes :
> How do you hide money from a Deadhead?? 
>                                                                    
> Put it under the soap! 
> :):):):) 
>                                                                    
> Rie

Or put it away from the tie-dye vats!

(he says, while listening to "Casey Jones")

--
*******************************************************************           
* Noah Ramon - The Bi-Bulb     * Your only limitation is your own *
* Mail to : narxtc@math.uh.edu * imagination - Beans Barton       *
*******************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: YET ANOTHER DELURKING
From: <KZAHLLER@MIAMIU.BITNET>
Date: Tuesday, 26 Jan 1993 13:02:40 EST
Organization: Miami University - Academic Computer Service

Magda grins at Splash and orders a Diet Dr Pepper.

"Many thanks for the welcome--and the drink!  Unfortunately,
I need the caffeine and I've got to go do research the rest
of this afternoon, so I'd best confine myself to this.  Next
time, it's my turn to buy! "

She pauses, then grins mischieviously as she can't resist
adding "If you're damper than others sometimes, does that
mean that the drinks are frequently on you?"

Aaaarrrroooo!

Magda (the currently avoiding writing that paper) - Wolf
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: bird-of-prey pun *>
Date: 27 Jan 1993 14:36:56 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Distribution: world
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <1993Jan26.092213.1956@eskimo.com>, jammer@eskimo.com (Lyle Harwood) writes:
=Jammer wonders if there are any Jacks of the trades who would unnerstand what
=he's thinking.
=
=He sighs, and points out 
=
="These puns are not hip. While they might currently be on the rise, they
=are indeed headed for a valley. Since, however, I am among fellow
=members of the common, I will say that while I hate to barge in, this line
=will soon board me.  While it may mark me square, I will not run.  Now, you
=may not unnerstand me, but I truss that you will be able to find a competent
=journeyman of the One True Trade to explain it to you. You may then soffit to
=me.

StM wonders, "Is Jammer on the level?  Or is he just indulging his bent for
puns?  Were I to accuse him of excessive punning, would he claim that he'd been
framed, or would he be glad that in this post, I am, more or less, siding with
him, since I'm capable of coping with his puns?  Or would he just be plumb
dismayed at the puns he missed?  Or would he brace himself for more?  Or
request that they be on a somewhat higher plane?"
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: sjane@bmers248.bnr.ca (sjs)
Subject: Re: Culinary Peculiarities
Organization: Irrelevant, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 17:48:05 GMT

In article <JBrandt-270193125341@aaa.uoregon.edu> JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jason) writes:
>In article <1993Jan27.095124.18870@ucc.su.OZ.AU>, ablanch@physics.su.OZ.AU
>(Shonias) wrote:
>> Blueberries? They're pretty blue, but I have to admit, it's all I can think
>> of.
>"Nope, Shonias, To quote George Carlin, 'Blueberries are purple. 
>
Well, up here in the north land, that is, the Southern Ontario part of the
north land, we have two (2) kinds of blue berries: honest-to-goodness blue
ones and those other purple ones.  They actually have somewhat different
flavours too.  

-sjs
--
It's not irrelevant; it's a hippopotamus.   sjane@BNR.CA
From: ekho@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (amanda rothman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Didi's ill, again : -(
Date: 29 Jan 93 04:49:32 GMT
Organization: Cybernet BBS, Boca Raton, Florida

eesshlgb@gdr.bath.ac.uk (S H L G Bisson) writes:

> Ignatz wanders over with a UK road atlas.
> 
> "Which one? They're all fairly near here, in fact I've been climbing at
> one of them! Llangatoch, just above Abergavenny, on the (literal) edge of
> the Brecon Beacons.
> 
> "Then there's Dan yr Ogof caves, home of the Silurians, several clay pits
> in Dorset and Cornwall, and a couple of quarries in South Wales and in the
> Forest of Dean near Gloucester."
> 
> Ignatz grins.
> 
> "So, if you're ever in the area..."

  Heaving a weary sigh, Amanda replies, "If only I were.  It seems that I'm
quite the anglophile at times... If I ever win the lottery (Shyeah! right.),
that'll be the first place I travel to (besides the collection office for my
winnings :)

               Yours in Time and Space
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: Clueless newbie ventures in...
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 02:05:04 GMT



>Karl Siewert (siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu) wrote:
>: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk (Mary Branscombe) writes:
>: >and somebody will doubtless have sent you the FAQ by now
>: 
>: Actually, no.  I haven't asked yet, but I would appreciate it.
>: 
>: >I'm MerryTail - have we hugged yet?"
>: 
>: No, but I could do with one.

>What could you do with one? 

>By the way, I am hugga non gratta.

>doug

"don't be silly doug....you will never be hugga non gratta....or even
potatoes au gratin...as long as i am around...."

kitten hugs doug.
--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"it's not easy being a cast iron bitch--it takes years of practice.
most people don't appreciate that.
From: carrot@bear.stonemarche.org (Little red-headed girl)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re:  Descriptions...
Distribution: world
Date: 25 Jan 93 19:50:40 EST

	"Descriptions? But I describe myself all the time! Oh, all right.
I am 5'3" tall, I have red hair down to my shoulder blades which is
usually messy, I wear glasses, and I am... ah... well endowed. Or as
a Monty Python might say, I have 'vast tracts of land.' In other words,
I look much the same here as I do in RL. The main difference is that my
sidekick Soora..."

	<Hello!> chirps the little green fire lizard.

	"... is capable of talking, flying, and even clutching here, but
in RL she is a very pretty soft sculpture. Also, I talk more here, when
I have time to be around. I'd say you'll get more of an idea of what I'm
like from listening to me than from any physical description! 8^)

	"I have been married since April, I like to read all sorts of
books and occasionally I even get inspired enough to write a story or
a poem. I also love music, but unfortunately I don't know many people
who live near me who play instruments well enough to be partners
instead of students. I am open to discussion on _almost_ anything (I
found my limit in rec.arts.sf.written)."
--
+--------------------------+----------------------------------------------+
|	carrot		   |	carrot@bear.stonemarche.org               |
+--------------------------+----------------------------------------------+ 
|   "Feel what might be. See what I see. Again and again and again and    |
| again say you don't. You say you don't, but you will.                   |
|   "How can you be so near and not see?" -"If You Intend"-10,000 Maniacs |
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: hilp@hfglobe.intel.com (Robin Rosenbaum)
Subject: Re: Culinary Peculiarities
Organization: Intel Corporation
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 18:33:56 GMT

In article <1993Jan22.013147.13751@midway.uchicago.edu> mss2@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>	"`Cordial'?  The only definition of that I know as a noun is
>`liqueur', which I _assume_ isn't served in Australian primary
>schools.  :-)  Care to dispel my benighted ignorance?"

I think this is a regional usage.  Like cider: In the USA it's non-
alcoholic unless it's called "hard" cider.  I've heard that elsewhere
"cider" refers to an alcoholic beverage.  (Is that right? I've never
actually tried ordering any when travelling, I guess.)
>
Robin Hilp
rosenrob@ccm.hf.intel.com or hilp@hfglobe.intel.com
Opinions, attitudes, and beliefs expressed herein are mine and do not
necessarily represent those of my employer.  Or anyone else for that
matter.
From: s903040@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU (Christopher Francis Anderson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: An Introduction - T-Bear delurks!
Date: 22 Jan 1993 03:14:28 GMT
Organization: RMIT Computer Centre
NNTP-Posting-Host: minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au

// Greetings, T-Bear!

A rather large moor cat wanders over to the new arrival and gives him a hug,
a drink, and a pizza (in that approximate order).


-- 
ThunderKat (a.k.a. Chris Anderson)    s903040@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au

"I vote we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to
be sure."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: daq@fc.hp.com (Doug Quarnstrom)
Subject: Re: Decapitalization?
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 23:21:00 GMT
Organization: SPUGE
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.8 PL6]

Jane Beckman (jane@soave.swdc.stratus.com) wrote:
: Jilara applauds doug's poem.  "When I am president, I think
: I'll have *you* read a poem for my inauguration.  No offense
: to any of the poets who have done so in the recent or farther
: past, but you're definitely in a different category (thank
: god!)."

Thank you for the public praise.  If you become president, however,
would you not consider it rather dangerous to your young administration
to grant someone like myself a public microphone under your auspices?
I might, after all, say something entirely inappropriate.

Still, knowing the little that I do know about you, I suspect you
would have the courage to weather any controversy, and the style
to probably enjoy the whole thing just a bit more than you ought.

doug
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: parakeet@wixer.cactus.org (Jim Eikner)
Subject: Re: Descriptions...
Organization: Real/Time Communications
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 20:59:39 GMT


Parakeet stands just outside the pool cast by the Light of Reality...

"Don't let the name throw ya. I ain't no bird. It's just that I used to
commercially raise the things and have lived around them my entire life. Here
in the bar I'm an inbred Texan complete with Tony Lama's, leathery skin, a
Stetson and a pearl-buttoned Amarillo Slim shirt... "

Parakeet steps gingerly into the light...

"But, in reality, I'm a 6'2" tall, 43 year old owner of a professional light
and sound company. My hair is rather long and grey, and my taste in clothes
runs towards sweatshirts, sneakers and loud Hawaiian shirts. I spent many
years in the bar and restaurant business. I chose my persona because I
figured every bar needed at least one red-neck... heh!"

Parakeet exits the light and returns to his two-top and beer...




                                                            --- Parakeet ---


-- 

"...for no man lives in the external truth among salts and acids, but in
 the warm, phantasmagoric chamber of his brain, with the painted windows
 and the storied wall."                                      --- RLS ---
Newsgroups: alt.callahans