Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Monday, 28 Sep 1992 09:32:20 CDT
From: <U58505@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.games.sf2
Subject: Hold on tight! Cause here we go again!

Well just got back from the Union arcade, all the UIC regulars are into
Mortal Kombat now; Lord knows why.  So all the new guys pretty much
control the SF2 machine.  It's only a matter of time though before the
regulars get bored with MK and decide to reclaim the machine.  Nope, my
school still doesn't have TCE; so until then I just kick back and watch
those assholes beat up on each other between classes.  No sense in
wasting tokens on something like "classic", except maybe to practice
my Guile.  I usually end up spending my tokens on the basketball shoot
nowadays.  This place is the absolute pits - one "classic", two Mortal
Kombats, but still no TCE.  One of my friends told me that most guys
into Mortal Kombat are frustrated SF2 wannabes; hmm, I'm surprised I
don't find myself playing it.  I admit though, all that blood in MK
does have it's appeal.  Some of the players at my school are really
annoying.  Such a whiny bunch - "I don't believe in ticking.  It
shouldn't be part of the game".  Go play at the fucking mall for
crying out loud.  Don't get me wrong now.  I rarely initiate the tick
(I do against Blanka though); call me silly, but I like to think of
myself as a style player.  What's a style player?  Basic requirement
of course is the chivalric non-ticking attitude (granted it gets you
killed in areas that are throw happy, you just have to learn to
play according to the local ettiquette and adjust to a different
mindest.  Besides, we all know that chivalry and honor are laughable
traits to have in a game like SF2 now don't we?)  Another requirement
is to end every round with a DP.  And none of that monotonous fireball
fireball roundhouse shit.  Just throw caution to the wind and jump in
on that crouching Guile.  Ha ha.  Of course I'll tick guys who play
really conservative and get block happy on me.

Ken/Ryu - Alright.  The dudes.  Maybe they're not the best characters
to play (Guile) or the most powerful (Zangief), but they're the
coolest.  Ryu has the best victory stance; arms folded, head lowered to
the side, hair blowing in the wind (what a way to end a match).  Ken's
fierce DP range is almost like a forward missile attack.  Ryu looks
cool in grey, but I think Ken looks better in red.  Man, thank God
these guys don't have any fagboy looking moves like Guile's knee lunge.
Their aerial short kick looks so cool too, pity you can get thrown
using it.  Oh well.  Yup, no-nonsense-face-my-fury kind of characters.
That's why they're my favorite.

Blanka - Blech.  I hate this guy.  I hate this guy so much.  Jab jab
thro-ow.  Jab jab thro-ow.  One more time!  Jab jab thro-ow.  Heh heh.
Most Blanka players in my home area can't counter worth shit.  They
rely on Blanka's speed and high priority attacks to win matches; and
pray to God in heaven that you don't tick them.  I've seen so many
matches were the Blanka player just womps on Ken/Ryu.  After two or
three continues most Ken/Ryu's decide to see what happens when you
introduce ticking to the game.  Most Blanka players whine when you do
that.  Oh well.

Chun Li - Don't really have much to say about her.  Except that Miss
Wind Kick looks really damn good in her SNES ending.  Damn good.
Boom boom.

Dhalsim - Whew!  Let me pause for a moment and wipe the sweat from my
brow.  All the excitement from having to fight this guy is just so
intense.  Ooh, it's too much, it's too much.  No, but seriously; my
friends have told me that there is a new breed of Dhalsim player.
They've been dubbed "psycho" Dhalsims and foot drill you like crazy.
They like to put lots of variety in their moves and constantly keep
you guessing.  I, for one, am utterly shocked.  Go figure.  Supposedly
these new "psycho" Dhalsims were never "classic" Dhalsims though.  I
guess if you played "classic" Dhalsim and held the machine for hours,
Mister Dull and Boring has to stay that way.  Excitement?  I'm afraid
you've mistaken me for a Ken/Ryu player.

Guile - This guy's a stud.  His attacks are so numerous and versatile.
He's got the perfect arsenal - fast recovery after sonic booms, a nasty
razorkick, and combos up the butt.  To top it off, he's got the coolest
hair.  Now I am a decent Guile player, so that means I womp Ken masters
(it's character advantage, not player skill); by the same token, that
means decent Ryu's can beat me.  Some Guile player posted a way's back
that making Guile's sonic boom a charge-up instead of a come-out-right-
away-thingy like Ken/Ryu's fireball was a disadvantage.  Argh!  Someone
shoot him.  I finally got the fierce/fierce/sonic boom down, it's so
easy.  A friend of mine showed me how to do it recently, and frankly I
can't get enough of it.  Ooh, gimme more, gimme more.  I recently went
Guile versus Guile with a player in my home area.  Granted we weren't
masters, but we were going at it pretty serious.  Pulling the combos
off, razor kicking each other out of the air, suplexing left and right.
You could tell by now our egos were getting up there.  All of the
sudden - dink.  That gay knee lunge comes out.  Argh!  So my opponent
decided to knee lunge me back.  Then I knee lunged him back again.  So
he knee lunged me again after that.  The fight just degenerated into
a dink contest.  No blocking, no defense - just one dink right after
the other.  All you saw was two Guiles hopping around like a bunch of
fairies trying to knee each other to death (on Vega's screen no less).
I don't even know the guy personally and we started to giggle like
little girls.  It was ridiculous.  It was stoopid.  It was faggy.  And
when it was over I felt like the biggest fruitcake in the world.  I was
like - uh, I think I'll pick Ryu now.  It's hard to be flaky with Ryu.

E. Honda - I use this guy all the time against Blankas (still haven't
perfected the Ken/Ryu-fireball-step-forward-then-crouching-roundhouse
routine).  His fierce slap is really vicious, a few tags of that and
your ass is dizzy as hell.  His sumo torpedo is awesome, does tons of
damage.  His 1000 hands is the perfect corner attack.  One very useful
tub of lard mind you.

Zangief - What can I say?  Watching your character being helplessly
SPDed is not a pretty sight, not pretty at all.  He's a "break your
spirit" kind of character.  Don't fuck around, don't even fuck around,
don't even.  Someone magic throw this guy!  Argh!  I really hate those
Zangief players who can just walk up to you and whip out the SPD.  I'm
not talking about the Zangief players that look stoopid when they try
to SPD you (you know the type, spin the joystick and hit jab like
crazy - keep at it Bob, it'll come out sooner or later.  No style.  Of
course there's also the infamous spaz jab DP method).  I'm talking
about the Zangief players that just walk up to you and SPD in one fluid
motion, then look up at the ceiling and whistle for awhile to wait for
the animation to finish up.  Argh!

Balrog - This is one serious dude.  The best boss character, no contest.
He's only got one thing in mind - namely his fist down your throat,
glove and all.  If you're looking for attitude, this guy delivers like
no other.

Vega - I'm convinced he's the pinnacle of annoyance.  Out of all the
characters, getting beat by Vega grates the most.  I have to seriously
learn this guy.  I mean, he looks fun to play doesn't he?  Jumping
around up in the air all the time.  Granted he doesn't do shit for
damage.  But damage isn't everything now is it?  He's got it all -
style, speed, agility, girly like daintiness (don't touch my face),
charming femininity (did I spell that right?), a beautiful voice,
good lucks, and the arrogance to make his good looks worth everything
in the world.  Besides handsome fighters never lose - a philosophy oh
so similar to my own.  Personally, I still think the "Barcelona swan
dive" sounds better than the screaming eagle.

Sagat - Ooh.  Mr. Tiger Uppercutt.  That thing does so much damage
it's almost ridiculous.  The tiger knee looks so cool too.  A pity
that no matter how hard I try I can't get it out.  I guess it was
never meant to be.  Oh well.

M. Bison - Man, this guy's the best.  Instant power, low skill
requirements.  Plus he's got the coolest looking outfit.  Well,
actually Chun Li does.  Boom boom.  I played him over the weekend at
one of my local arcades.  I went on a cheesepedo rampage.  I swear
man, I was so cheap I felt like a slut.

Well that's all for now, if you guys want combos go to the fucking
snack section at 7-11.  Ha ha ha ha.

Until my next post,
The X-Man

P.S.  Argh!  Clay you moron.  Get off the net.
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA