From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: 26 Sep 92 15:57:53 GMT
	<1992Sep24.191457.19574@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
	<ewright.717365338@convex.convex.com>
	<1992Sep25.184047.1990@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
	<ewright.717452240@convex.convex.com>
	<1992Sep25.235130.18575@odin.corp.sgi.com>
	<ew
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: ewright@convex.com's message of 26 Sep 92 02:39:45 GMT

In article <ewright.717475185@convex.convex.com> ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:

   I'm afraid I don't have any first knowledge of social life in Silicon
   Valley.  

One begins to wonder if you have ever observed social life ANYWHERE
without blinders.

   The only knowledge I do have is what I've gotten from movies
   and television.  There it always goes something like this: Beautiful 
   girl is having dinner or at a party with nerdy programmer, usually with
   glasses.  He's talking about programming (or at least something that
   screenwriters think sounds like programming); she's looking intensely
   bored.  Suddenly, a gorgeous hunk walks into the room.  Girl looks at
   hunk and instantly falls in love.  Cut to girl and hunk, who have changed
   out of their tuxedo and evening dress into bathing suits, heading down the
   road in hunk's Porsche.  Next comes a series of shots of them at the beach:
   swimming, playing volleyball, running along the beach, riding surfboards,
   until finally girl falls into hunk's arms.

   I realize that, like everything that comes out of Hollywood, this
   is undoubtedly exaggerated.  On the other hand, I know that there
   are a lot of surfboards manufactured and sold in California.  I also
   know that Los Angeles and San Francisco have their own baseball/football
   teams and that the seats are not empty for every game.  You may not go
   to football and baseball games, but somebody must.  I also know from
   recruiting brochures that a lot of Silicon Valley companies have their
   own fitness centers; I assume that there are independent health clubs
   as well.

Ed, you know what?  There are something like 5 million people in the Bay
Area.  Big-time attendance at a Giants game is something like 40,000.
Figure out the odds yourself.  There are people who sailboard and surf
-- although not too many in the BA because it's too damned cold.

But get a clue, man!  The Gulch is *full* of programmers!  They're *all*
computer geeks just like you and me.  You've never *lived* until you've
watched some of the softball games -- they're almost as funny as Giants
games.

Hunks with Porsches are in the distinct minority, and while they often
seem to get the "trophy" women, you're not looking for a trophy anyway,
are you?

And people are getting married all the time.

Oddly enough, I hear much the same from my friends in Richardson, TX.

Then there is this one voice from the wilderness saying "there's no one
for me, everyone is only involved in finding someone who looks like
Arnold Schwartzeneger, no one can love me for my mind."

It just doesn't seem to stand up to statistical examination at least.

But I think a dozen people here have tried to tell you that *our*
impression of you -- from your self-pity, your constant "yes, but..."
replies, your inability to tell the difference between an
honestly-stated attempt to help and a personal attack, your malicious
misquotation and occassional lapses into sophomoric "you're another"
responses -- is that we DON'T think you have trouble finding someone
because you aren't pretty enough, aren't smart enough, don't have enough
talents or skills, aren't athletic enough, or any of the other excuses
you've found.  It's because you're a jerk.

The problem isn't in how you *look*, Ed.  It's in who you are.  When you
take some steps to fix *that* you'll be on your way.
--
Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu/(ne crm@cs.duke.edu) 
O/Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
H/3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"I am he who walks the States with a barb'd tongue, questioning every
one I meet,/Who are you that wanted only to be told what you knew
before?/ Who are you that wanted only a book to join you in your
nonsense?"  _Leaves of Grass_ xxiii.4.
Newsgroups: soc.singles