From: jpenne@ee.ualberta.ca (Jerry Penner)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.apple2
Subject: GEnieLamp Oct 1992 [4 parts]
Summary: GEnie online magazine for the Apple II
Date: 6 Oct 92 07:42:33 GMT
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada

This is part 2 of 4 parts.

This is GEnieLamp, an online magazine produced by various people on
the GEnie information service.  It is posted to the Internet by
request of Thomas Schmitz (TOM.SCHMITZ on GEnie), the Apple II editor
for GEnieLamp.  He is resigning his post as editor (as you can read in
this month's issue) but I will keep posting this to the Internet in
all likelihood.

There are four (4) parts, each of which is approximately 1000 lines +
the regular Internet header lines.

Enjoy.

---8<--- snip ---8<--- snip ---8<--- snip ---8<--- snip ---8<---


DRIVE TALK   Yes the Vulcan is IDE and you can replace it with any Quantum
""""""""""   or Connor mechanism and I would expect the Maxtor drives to
work as well.  Current state of the art IDE drives use a block translation
and are not designed to require an initialization routine to know the
parameters of the drive.  For example the Quantum drives will allow the
interface card to setup an arbitrary number of heads/cyl inders/sectors per
track. The drive simply stores these parameters at initialization time and
when the interface card issues a read command the drive will convert the
head/cylinder/sector number using the initialization parameters over into a
logical block number.  From the logical block number the drive will convert
over into a head/cylinder/sector number that fits with it's drive
parameters.  It has to be done this way because current state of the art
drives have variable number of sectors per track.

>>>>    Flopticals.....   We are looking into it and we make no promises
""""    at this time.  Further badgering on the subject will not be taken
in a positive light.


AS FAST AS IT GETS   The RamFAST does DMA at 1meg/sec.  This is as fast as
""""""""""""""""""   the IO bus can handle.  The RF could actually DMA at
about 1.7 meg/sec but the IO bus can't handle it so the RF runs as fast as
the IO bus can handle.  We read the drive at 1:1 interleave which is as
fast as the drive can manage.  The RamFAST is as fast as it gets.  It is
theoretically possible to make a DMA interface that plugs into the Zip or
the processor socket and is capable of DMA at 2.6 meg/sec (2.59xxx
actually) but it would not be compatible with the TWGS so we haven't
pursued it.  -Drew
     (CV.TECH [Tri.Stated], Cat. 11,  Top. 10, Msg. 77, M645;1)

TAPES   The mechanism in question is a 3M mechanism and it uses the DC-2000
"""""   tapes.  I've got one here and we use it for testing.  The tapes
will run you about $14 ish a piece in small quantity and the performance of
the drive is about 1.1 meg/sec.  A couple of drawbacks to the drive
include:

    o  The tapes only hold 40 meg (actually about 38000k)
    o  The tapes have to be formatted before use and that takes over half
       an hour per tape.
    o  The drive is slightly finicky about power consumption so make sure
       it comes with a box and power supply.  If you put it together
       yourself you will need at least a 60 watt power supply.
    o  The drive takes awhile to recognize a tape.  When you insert a
       tape the drive "goes away" for a couple of MINUTES.

Advantages of the 3M mechanism:

    o  It is the only tape drive I know that can do random access. This
       means that the RF card can tell the drive to go out into the tape
       and find block number xxx and read it.  The tape drive copes.
       This is a great improvement when it comes to file based restores
       using the RF.  -Drew
      (CV.TECH [Tri.Stated] , Cat. 11,  Top. 12, Msg. 82, M645;1)



SCRIPT-CENTRAL SUBSCRIBERS   A quick note to Script-Central subscribers....
""""""""""""""""""""""""""   I am sorry to say that I left two bugs in the
Doctor Who stack. Until the Companions and Villains Stacks are provided, do
_NOT_ select Slide Show from either the Companions or Villains popUp
menus.  If you wish to fix the 'bugs' you must add three lines to the
slideShow handler of both the All Companions button and the Some Villains
button.  The three lines are as follows:

   on slideShow
    checkIt                         --  <---- add this Line 1
    global F                        --  <---- add this Line 2
    if F is "NO" the exit slideShow --  <---- add this Line 3
    global STK

     If you do not wish to make these changes, the 'problem' will
disappear when the auxiliary stacks are provided. -Joseph
      (J.WEEKS4 [IANAN,IAAFM!], Cat. 23,  Top. 8, Msg. 101, M645;1)


AE HIGH-DENSITY 3.5 DRIVE INCOMPTIBLILITIES   We are indeed aware that
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""   there are incompatibilities
with the AE high-density 3.5" drive. We currently are working on an upgrade
to Salvation-Deliverance, Salvation-Renaissance, and Salvation-Bakkup.
However, our department has not yet been informed about the specifications
of these application. I do know that the new versions will be supporting
Apple's 1.44 MB high-density drive. I can't yet say that we are, or are
not, supporting the AE high-density 3.5" floppy disk drive.

     As soon as we know what the specifications are, we'll let everyone
know.  Thanks, Lowell Erbe Vitesse, Inc.
           (VITESSEINC., Cat. 40,  Top. 13, Msg. 39, M645;1)


LOOKING FOR...
""""""""""""""
 > Can anyone suggest or recommend software that will generate invoices and
 > statements?

     Sure.  First, there's an add-on of some sort for AppleWorks; I'll bet
someone's already posted that information.

     Myself, I like DB Master Pro for its flexibility.  And, with Barney's
going- out-of-business sale, it's fairly inexpensive.  (BusinessWorks is
fairly expensive, if I recall.)  I uploaded to the Library a demo of a
relational inventory/invoicing system for DB Master awhile back; all you
have to do is add the program itself :).

     If your group went that route, Bill, I could probably modify my
system to its needs, gratis, if it's not too involved.  You didn't tell us
anything about what the requirements are:  Is this for inventory,
fund-raising and contributions, or something else?  Does the system have to
add interest on an automatic basis (like credit cards)?  What sort of a
system does the group have -- hard drive, ram , platform? <<<Lloyd>>>
     (L.DEVRIES [Lloyd], Cat. 2,  Top. 5, Msg. 60, M645;1)


MODEM DRIVERS   TO: Everyone who uses a USR HST or one of the new
"""""""""""""       SupraFAXModems with GBBS Pro or another ACOS-based
system.  Paul Parkhurst has recently completed work on a set of drivers
which will run any variety of US Robotics HST modem and the SupraFAXModem
v.32bis from either the GS serial port or the Super Serial Card.  The cost
for the complete set of drivers is $15.00.  If you want just the Supra
driver, the cost is $10.00.  He is waiting for 40 orders before he will
ship.  He can be reached by voice at 510-837-9098, or on his BBS, the
Infinity's Edge BBS, at 510-820-9401. This is the only way I know of to use
the SupraFAXModem v.32bis with GBBS, but I'm open to other suggestions.
BTW, what's the story on the guy who was working on FAX software for the
GS?  --> Dan  <via GEM v4.20>
         (D.BROWN109 [Dan], Cat. 10,  Top. 2, Msg. 166, M645;1)


WAIT, THERE'S MORE...   Matt's right about 6.0 and CPS Follow, but there's
"""""""""""""""""""""   more. I wrote the patches that Zip is distributing
(actually they had a contract programmer adapt the code I gave them), and
you only need the AppleTalk patch for pre-6.0 AppleTalk. Since slowing down
to 81% worked, I have to ask if you are in fact running system 5, because
81% and CPS Follow disabled should not (under 6.0) make the printer
reappear -- 30% or so would.

     I have my own version of the init that not only fixes AppleTalk for
5.0 but also fixes the "disappearing cursor" flicker and patches the GS/OS
SET_SYS_SPEED vector for Future Driver Compatibility (ooh ahh). I sent the
entire init to Zip, and it looks like their contractor didn't change
anything (although they did convert the source from Orca/M to Merlin). The
system 5 version of the init is called ZIPTALK, and when system 6 came out
I removed the AppleTalk code and called the resulting init ZIPFIX. Both
inits have been available on internet.

     What Zip's documentation probably still doesn't tell you: AppleTalk
delay was a last minute compatibility hack. It is really an IRQ delay that
turns off the acceleration for 5 milliseconds every time an interrupt
occurs. Zip did all their prototyping and beta testing with boards that ran
just slow enough for AppleTalk to keep working, and when they finally got
the 8 mhz parts from WDC with weeks to go before the release date, they
scrambled to find a way to keep from breaking AppleTalk. Since AppleTalk
Delay kicks in on any type of interrupt, enabling it really slows down the
Zip -- heartbeat interrupts happen 60 times a second (16 ms), and the Zip
slows down for 5 ms each time...  so roughly a third of the time (or more)
is spent unaccelerated. For this reason the AppleTalk delay should ALWAYS
be disabled and an init (or system 6) should be used. Besides, as you've
probably discovered, AppleTalk delay doesn't fix AppleTalk under system 5
unless you slow the Zip down a bit yourself. Blearg. This is because long
AppleTalk packets take 14 ms to send, and the AppleTalk delay only makes
things work for 5 ms -- so if you are sending data to the printer and
running the Zip at full speed under system 5 the first third of the packet
makes it OK and then the Zip comes back on and you're toast. You may be
noticing something like this now; you can see the printer, but actually
printing doesn't always work. That's because you don't need to use long
packets to see the printer, but you do need them to print to it.

     Likewise, CPS Follow should ALWAYS be on. Turning it off may make the
Zip run a bit faster, but you won't be able to use Disk ]['s (big loss) and
system 6's AppleTalk driver requires it, as Matt said. Other things won't
work, like border color animation demos, and the Normal Speed setting in
the control panel won't do anything. There are probably other compatibility
risks but I haven't run into them because I play it safe and leave CPS
follow enabled.

     I suppose I should upload these inits to the software libraries. Which
category would be the best one, or it is obvious?  -Todd Whitesel toddpw
          (TODDPW, Category 26,  Topic 12, Message 99, M645;1)


RULE #1
"""""""
 > the only thing anybody is going to use the MSDOS FST for is writing out
 > files that are intended for an MSDOS system (or a unix system that can
 > access MSDOS, like the one I use at work). NOBODY IN HIS RIGHT MIND IS
 > GOING TO REGULARLY USE MSDOS FOR REAL IIGS FORKED FILE WORK. Get real!!

     Rule #1 of designing software:  NEVER assume what people are going to
do with it.

     90% of all the problems I've ever seen users have with developer's
work come about on things where the developer says "People won't want to do
that. Get real."

     If the FST is writable, people will try to save files to it in
Standard File, and if the file has a resource fork the file will then be
immediately unusable to the application that just saved it.

     This was an early problem with the HFS FST -- it treated files of
type $B0 (SRC) as files of type TEXT, so they got HFS creator 'pdos' and
file type 'TEXT'.  The problem was that when you read them, they had GS/OS
file type $04 (Text).  It had the advantage of making sense, and letting
Macintosh applications read the files with no tweaking.  It had the
disadvantage that if you copied an ORCA/C source file to an HFS partition,
ORCA/C would no longer compile it (wrong language type).

     Either it acts like a disk or it doesn't act like a disk.  If it
doesn't act like a disk, it shouldn't be an FST.  Anything less is imposing
even more "rules" for IIgs users to remember, and this is absolutely
positively not the goal. --Matt (I speak for myself, not for Apple)
     (M.DEATHERAGE [A2Pro Leader], Category 9,  Topic 7, Message 59)


WE'VE MOVED!!
"""""""""""""
     Our NEW physical address is:
          Econ Technologies, Inc.
          99 N Central Ave Ste B
          Oviedo, FL 32765

     Our business ours are: 9:30 AM - 6:00 PM EST

     Our mailing address is:
          P.O. Box 195356
          Winter Springs, FL 32719
    (ECON [D. Proni], Category 35,  Topic 2, Message 2, M645;1)


WHAT'S A COMPUTER?   ][t's a person who uses a slide rule, pencils, and
""""""""""""""""""   lots of paper to make complicated calculations.  At
least, that's how they're referred  to in the Lensman series of book by
E.E. "Doc" Smith.  ( :


INTERESTING TRIVIA   The first manned spacecraft to include an electronic
""""""""""""""""""   computer was the Apollo.  All previous manned
spacecraft (Mercury, Gemini, and the Soviet craft) were controlled merely
by various combinations of simpler electronics and mechanical devices.
Kinda scary, when you look around these days and practically EVERYTHING has
a computer in it just to make it work the way you want it to.  -= Lunatic
(:         (LUNATIC , Category 2,  Topic 5, Message 89,  M645;1)

>>>>>   Don't forget the pigeon bomb control system.  Pigeons were
"""""   conditioned to watch a small screen and peck one of four buttons
when a certain shape came on the screen (circle, square, triangle, and
diamond).  If the rocket started to get off course, the navigation system
would flash a symbol on the screen and the pigeon would peck the correct
button to respond.  I don't recall if this navigation system was ever used,
but I saw a number of times the pigeon training program to "program the
navigation computer".  Skinner would probably have loved it.



                       >>> MESSAGE SPOTLIGHT <<<
                       """""""""""""""""""""""""
Category 2,  Topic 8
Message 8         Sat Sep 12, 1992
R.COVINGTON2 ["Baron"]       at 21:01 EDT


APPLE II WARS   The following commentary was aired on Sound Bytes, a
"""""""""""""   public radio show originating in Rochester, NY.  It is
copyright (c) 1990 by Nick Francesco.  Permission is granted to disseminate
it in any form, as long as the wording is not changed, and this copyright
notice accompanies it.

     DOS and Mac people have been at each other's throats since the
introduction of the Mac in 1984.  Which machine is better;  which machine
is more fun.  As religious wars go, it's somewhere in the middle:  worse
than the Crusades, but not as bad as the Inquisition.  No one on either
side has been willing to take prisoners, and Silicon Valley is littered
with its victims.  Like the Crusades, no one was ever really persuaded to
change sides, and like the Inquisition, people who did change sides did so
only under extreme duress.

     Up until now, of course, most of the ammunition has been on the Mac
side.  Lots of studies have come out about how easy it is to learn to use a
Mac, and how Mac people know and use more different types of programs than
DOS people.  No less prestigious a company than Microsoft (all rise) has
released the information that their support lines prove that the Mac is
easier to learn and use.  They provide less support per package sold on the
Mac side, proving that a Graphical User Interface is better.  Of course,
they didn't release this information until they had their own Graphical
User Interface on the market, but I'm sure it takes a long time to compile
the results of this sort of study.

     The DOS people had to content themselves with intangibles (it's
slower), and appeals to the compu-macho in us all (real users don't use
mice).

     Now, however, from the hallowed halls of the University of Delaware,
comes Dr. Marcia Peoples Halio (trumpet sound).  Dr.  Halio (no relation to
the graphics package, I'm sure) has released the results of a five-year
study that suggests that Mac people are shallower, more illiterate, and
less likely to have sex than DOS users.

     She did this by looking at the grades of a basic composition course.
You see, as each student entered the University of Delaware, he or she was
required to take a writing course in basic composition.  Each student was
also allowed to decide if he or she would rather use a Mac or DOS.  And
over five years, Dr.  Halio discovered that Mac people got lower grades,
picked shallower topics, and (gasp!!!) had more spelling errors than DOS
people.  The obvious conclusion?  DOS people are fine, upstanding, moral,
right-thinking people you would be proud to call your neighbor.  And Mac
people... well, you wouldn't want your daughter to marry one.

     Of course, this begs a few questions.  Do the Mac people start out
stupid, or is it something to do with the user interface?  Is there
something about a DOS command line that builds strong minds twelve ways?

     And what about a control group?  If you took a few of these DOS
Ubermenchen and put them in front of Macs, would they turn into drooling
idiots?  And if you could prop some of these Mac people up in front of DOS
machines, would they suddenly start speaking in complete sentences and be
able to get dates?

     We clearly need more study here.  We need to delve deeper into this
obviously fascinating mystery - I sense a Time-Life Books series coming on.
Do DOS people eventually burn out and buy Windows?  Do Mac people find
themselves reduced to pointing at pictures in the menus at Denny's?

     And what about their future?  Do DOS people end up becoming dry
academicians, arguing about Edwin Newman's latest column and living on
stipends while praying for tenure?  Do Mac people spend their evenings
standing around fern bars in double-breasted Armani suits, talking about
convertible debentures and vacationing in the Azores?

     I am prepared to devote my life to this study.  All I need is about
five million dollars from Apple Computer, and about twenty million from
Bill Gates (that's a fair assessment, based on their respective net
worths).  John, Bill, are you guys listening? I can be bought.  Uhh...
rented.  Hired.  You know.

     This is Nick Francesco for Sound Bytes, a production of WXXI in
Rochester, NY - Hub of Civilization in the Western World.

                               [*][*][*]


    While on GEnie,  do  you spend most of your time  downloading files?
If so, you may be missing out some excellent information in the Bulletin
Board  area.   The messages  listed above  only scratch  the surface  of
what's available and waiting for you in the bulletin board area.

If you are  serious  about your APPLE II,  the GEnie Lamp staff strongly
urge  you to give the  bulletin board area a try.   There are  literally
thousands  of messages  posted  from people  like you from  all over the
world.


      //////////////////////////////////////////// GEnie_QWIK_QUOTE ////
     / "Nathan, I imagine Lee caught onto the meaning of "enthisiasm" /
    / right away.  He's very enthisiastic himself!"                  /
   //////////////////////////////////////////////  D.A.BRUMLEVE  ////



[EOA]
[HUM]//////////////////////////////
                    HUMOR ONLINE /
/////////////////////////////////
Operator From Hell
""""""""""""""""""
by Simon Travaglia



                   >>> B*ST*RD OPERATOR FROM HELL <<<
                   """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
                               ~ PART 1 ~

     It's backup day today so I'm P.O.'d.  Being the BOFH, however, does
have it's advantages.  I assign the tape device to null - it's so much more
economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change tapes
every 5 minutes.  And it speeds up backups too, so it can't be all bad.

     A user rings

     "Do you know why the system is slow?" they ask

     "It's probably something to do with..."  I look up today's excuse "..
      clock speed"

     "Oh"  (Not knowing what I'm talking about, they're satisfied)  "Do
      you know when it will be fixed?"

     "Fixed?  There's 275 users on your machine, and one of them is you.
      Don't be so selfish - logout now and give someone else a chance!"

     "But my research results are due in tomorrow and all I need is one
      page of Laser Print.."

     "SURE YOU DO.  Well; You just keep telling yourself that buddy!"  I
      hang up.

     Sheesh, you'd really think people would learn not to call!

     The phone rings.  It'll be him again, I know.  That annoys me.  I put
on a gruff voice

     "HELLO, SALARIES!"

     "Oh, I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number"

     "YEAH?  Well what's your name buddy?  Do you know WASTED phone calls
      cost money?  DO YOU?  I've got a good mind to subtract your wasted
      time, my wasted time, and the cost of this call from your weekly
      wages!  IN FACT I WILL!   By the time I've finished with you, YOU'LL
      OWE US money!  WHAT'S YOUR NAME - AND DON'T LIE, WE'VE GOT CALLER
      ID!"

     I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously
going to try and get an alibi by being at the Dean's office.  I look up his
username and find his department.  I ring the Dean's secretary.

     "Hello?" she answers

     "Hi, SIMON, B.O.F.H HERE, LISTEN, WHEN THAT GUY COMES RUNNING INTO
      YOUR OFFICE IN ABOUT 10 SECONDS, CAN YOU GIVE HIM A MESSAGE?"

     "I think so..." she says

     "TELL HIM `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE'"

     "Um. Ok"

     "AND DON'T FORGET NOW, I WOULDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT
      THAT FILE IN YOUR ACCOUNT WITH YOUR ANSWERS TO THE PUURITY TEST IN
      IT..."

     I hear her scrabbling at the terminal...

     "DON'T BOTHER - I HAVE A COPY.  BE A GOOD GIRL AND PASS THE MESSAGE
      ON"

     She sobs her assent and I hang up.  And the worst thing is, I was just
guessing about the purity test thing.   I grab a quick copy anyway, it
might make for some good late-night reading.

     Meantime backups have finished in record time, 2.03 seconds.  Modern
technology is wonderful, isn't it?

     Another user rings.

     "I need more space" he says

     "Well, why don't you move to Texas?" I ask

     "No, on my account, stupid."

     Stupid?!?....  Uh-Oh..

     "I'm terribly sorry" I say, in a polite manner equal to that of Jimmy
Stewart in a Family Matinee "I didn't quite catch that.  What was it that
you said?"

     I smell the fear coming down the line at me, but it's too late, he's
a goner and he knows it.

     "Um, I said what I wanted was more space on my account, *please*"

     "Sure, hang on"

     I hear him gasp his relief even though he covered the mouthpiece.

     "There, you've got plenty of space now"

     "How much have I got"

     Now this REALLY *PISSES* *ME* *OFF*!  Not only do they want me to
give them extra disk, they want to check it, to correct me if I don't give
them enough.  They should be happy with what I give them *and that's it*!!!

     Back into Jimmy Stewart mode.

     "Well, let's see, you have 4 Meg available"

     "Wow!  Eight Meg in total, thanks!" he says pleased with his
bargaining power

     "No" I interrupt, savouring this like a fine red, at room temperature
"4 Meg in total..."

     "Huh?...  I'd used 4 Meg already, How could I have 4 Meg Available?"

     I say nothing.  It'll come to him.

     "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhH!"

     I kill me; I really do!

 +-----------+  Terminal Sticker: "My other terminal is a chunk of sh*t too"
 |+----+     |  +----------------------------------------------------------+
 ||    |     |  | Simon Travaglia, Computer Services, University of Waikato|
 |+----+VT100|  | Priv. Bag, Hamilton, New Zealand. spt@grace.waikato.ac.nz|
 +-----------+  +----------------------------------------------------------+

The telephone pole was approaching fast, I was attempting to swerve out of
it's path when it struck my front end.

                               [*][*][*]


 CS-ID: #1253.humor/tasteless@pro-friends, 4587 chars
 Date: 10 Jun 92 09:14:40 +1200
 From: spt@waikato.ac.nz (Simon Travaglia)
 Subject: b*st*rd OPERATOR FROM HELL #1
 Newsgroups: alt.tasteless
 Message-ID: <1992Jun10.091440.8536@waikato.ac.nz>
 Organization: University of Waikato Computer Centre
 Lines: 126


        //////////////////////////////////////// GEnie_QWIK_QUOTE ////
       / "If anyone wants any stamps send me a SASE and I will send /
      / you a stamp."                                              /
     /////////////////////////////////////////////  M.FARMER2  ////



[EOA]
[APP]//////////////////////////////
                      APPLE_TALK /
/////////////////////////////////
Apple Vs. IBM
"""""""""""""
by Stephen Kroese



     As I was walking down the street the other day, I noticed a man
working on his house. He seemed to be having a lot of trouble. As I came
closer, I saw that he was trying to pound a nail into a board by a window
--- with his forehead. He seemed to be in a great deal of pain. This made
me feel very bad, watching him suffer so much just to fix his window pane.
I thought, ``Here is an opportunity to make someone very happy simply by
showing him a better way to do things.'' Seeing him happy would make me
happy too. So I said, ``Excuse me sir, there is a better way to do that.''

     He stopped pounding his head on the nail and with blood streaming
down his face said, ``What?''

     I said, ``There is a better way to pound that nail. You can use a
hammer.''

     He said, ``What?''

     I said ``A hammer. It's a heavy piece of metal on a stick. You can
use it to pound the nail. It's faster and it doesn't hurt when you use
it.''

      ``A hammer, huh?''

     ``That's right. If you get one I can show you how to use it and
you'll be amazed how much easier it will make your job.''

     Somewhat bewildered he said, ''I think I have seen hammers, but I
thought they were just toys for kids.''

     ``Well, I suppose kids could play with hammers, but I think what you
saw were brightly colored plastic hammers. They look a bit like real
hammers, but they are much cheaper and don't really do anything,'' I
explained.

     ``Oh,'' he said. Then went on, ``But hammers are more expensive than
using my forehead. I don't want to spend the money for a hammer.''

     Now somewhat frustrated I said, ``But in the long run the hammer
would pay for itself because you would spend more time pounding nails and
less time treating head wounds.''

     ``Oh,'' he said. ``But I can't do as much with a hammer as I can with
my forehead,'' he said with conviction.

     Exasperated, I went on. ``Well, I'm not quite sure what else you've
been using your forehead for, but hammers are marvelously useful tools. You
can pound nails, pull nails, pry apart boards. In fact every day people
like you seem to be finding new ways to use hammers. And I'm sure a hammer
would do all these things much better than your forehead.''

     ``But why should I start using a hammer? All my friends pound nails
with their foreheads too. If there were a better way to do it I'm sure one
of them would have told me,'' he countered.

     Now he had caught me off guard. ``Perhaps they are all thinking the
same thing,'' I suggested. ``You could be the first one to discover this
new way to do things,'' I said with enthusiasm.

     With a skeptical look in his bloodstained eye he said,''Look, some of
my friends are professional carpenters. You can't tell me they don't know
the best way to pound nails.''

``Well, even professionals become set in their ways and resist change.''
Then in a frustrated yell I continued, ``I mean, come on! You can't just
sit there and try to convince me that using your forehead to pound nails is
better than using a hammer!''

     Now quite angry he yelled back, ``Hey listen buddy, I've been pounding
nails with my forehead for many years now. Sure, it was painful at first
but now it's second nature to me. Besides, all my friends do it this way
and the only people I've ever seen using {\Fit0 hammers} were little kids.
So take your stupid little children's toys and get the hell off my
property.''

     Stunned, I started to step back. I nearly tripped over a large box of
head bandages. I noticed a very expensive price tag on the box and a blue
company logo on the price tag. I had seen all I needed to see. This man had
somehow been brainwashed, probably by the expensive bandage company, and
was beyond help. Hell, let him bleed, I thought. People like that deserve
to bleed to death. I walked along, happy that I owned not one but three
hammers at home. I used them every day at school and I use them now every
day at work and I love them. A sharp pain hit my stomach as I recalled the
days before I used hammers, but I reconciled myself with the thought that
tonight at the hammer users club meeting I could talk to all my friends
about their hammers. We will make jokes about all the idiots we know that
don't have hammers and discuss whether we should spend all of our money
buying the fancy new hammers that just came out.  Then when I get home,
like every night, I will sit up and use one of my hammers until very late
when I finally fall asleep. In the morning I will wake up ready to go out
into the world proclaiming to all non-hammer users how they too could
become an expert hammer user like me.
-Bear               (A2-BEAR, CAT2, TOP8, MSG:2/M645)


      ///////////////////////////////////////////// GEnie_QWIK_QUOTE ////
     / "There's an Office Depot just up the street from me.  I'll give /
    / your recommendation a try (even though you told me not to trust /
   / anyone's recommendations ;^)."                                  /
  ///////////////////////////////////////////////////  OUTRIDER  ////



[EOA]#61
[FUN]//////////////////////////////
                      ONLINE FUN /
/////////////////////////////////
Search-ME!
""""""""""
Scott Garrigus
  [S.GARRIGUS]



SEARCH-ME!   Welcome to Search-ME, our monthly puzzle article.  Each
""""""""""   month we will have a different theme.  This month the
Search-ME! puzzle contains 21 keywords that are associated with
programming.


                          >>> PROGRAMMING! <<<
                          """"""""""""""""""""

             Q A O R R A G H S S F S P G S A K D F I B Q C
             S T Q R M X J I D D M K U E A R E L M X G T G
             W Z R M J X N P O V B O O W F K E X P S Q N D
             Y Z I Z O W W G T F H C H K G S Y X N U S W J
             D C R Y E W O T N I R P G B X T Q A H D G A B
             Z T A P A T K D G M F H X L G P X V T Y L C U
             X R B S O A D I U P Y A U I Z M F G X X H Q H
             J S H P Z F A G G D Z T Y F U B C T E P D C G
             G N F S K T C J Z S F P N R N W E P N N F O E
             O T H Y Q G K B L O U J N A S Y C E S L W M Y
             A S S E M B L Y R I F C M N T I Q G R O G P S
             W D E V U O C W Z B N E W L S S K Z E O W I Z
             R L Q Y F F P O E D M D H A G H N Y A P B L E
             I G K V B O E A J O X O B O F L H O D U W E V
             T P N V I Z U H R G Z W S Q J Q Y B C C J L O
             E B J M O T C Y K U E U Q G Y Y A F A J A C M
             S E U L Z R K H M M B S O D E U R E Z C A H Y
             T E G C Q V B L N O V V A L G M R B S P S N E
             V A R I A B L E P A B L E V P I A A B U D H F
             I L M W K E V E J Z A Q P O M L P V Z Z X V W


                 ARRAY           ASSEMBLY        BASIC
                 BIOS            COMPILE         CONSTANT
                 DOS             FOR             GEM
                 GFA             GOSUB           GOTO
                 LOOP            MEMORY          MOVE
                 NEXT            PASCAL          PRINT
                 READ            VARIABLE        WRITE

                               [*][*][*]


GIVE UP?   You will find the answers in the LOG OFF column at the end of
""""""""   the magazine.

          This column was created with a program called SEARCH ME,
          an Atari ST program by David Becker.


         ///////////////////////////////////////// GEnie_QWIK_QUOTE ////
        / "You will get the mag on Thursday because you sent them a   /
       / message asking if it was sent on Wednesday.  I know because /
      / I sent a message on Tuesday and just got my mag today.  I   /
     / wish I'd sent the message a week or two earlier so I would  /
    / have had the magazine. :-)"                                 /
   /////////////////////////////////////////////////  WAYNED  ////



[EOA]!!@
[WHO]//////////////////////////////
                       WHO'S WHO /
/////////////////////////////////
Who's Who In Apple II
"""""""""""""""""""""
by Phil Shapiro
   [P.SHAPIRO1]



                    >>> WHO'S WHO?  DEAN ESMAY <<<
                    """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""
                  ~ Head Apple II Roundtable Sysop ~


GEnieLamp>  Dean, how did you first get interested in the Apple II
"""""""""   computer?  Do you have any anecdotes you can share with us
            about your first experiences with the Apple II?

DEAN ESMAY> The first computer I messed with was a TRS-80 Model I.  A
""""""""""  neighbor upstairs had one when I was a kid.  It fascinated me
            and I quickly learned how to load game programs from its
            cassette tape - it was neat!

            Though I drifted away from that, years later in high school I
            started working extensively with TRS-80 Color Computers.  I
            also went through a brief love affair with the IBM-PC, but I
            spent most of my time with the CoCo, and later with a TRS-80
            Model XII, a pretty rare CP/M based business computer that
            never did too well for Radio Shack.

            In school I had almost unlimited time in front of the machines.
            The school was very small (it was a Special Education school
            with a student body of somewhere between 70 and 90) and I
            quickly gained a reputation for being great at word processing,
            so the people who ran the school let me spend a lot of time in
            front of the machine.  They had me doing office correspondence
            for them, typing in software from computer magazines, and just
            basically the computer whiz kid for the school.

            Anyway, to get to the point, one day the school got an Apple
            IIe to run some specialized vocational evaluation software.
            Well, it was right there in the office so I got to play with
            it, too.  I remember starting with Apple Writer and not really
            being sure what to think, but the demo disk that came with the
            machine was very intriguing.  It only had a green monochrome
            screen, but the graphics were still much nicer in many ways
            than what the Radio Shack TRS-80 Color Computer could do.

            Well I didn't get too much further into it right then.  But not
            long afterwards I started going back to hang out with some
            friends in my old neighborhood who I hadn't seen for a few
            years, and pretty quickly I found that a couple of them used
            Apple IIes in school. One of them in particular, a close friend
            named Thom Ryng, actually had one at home.  And wow, they had
            these neat disks with software to give me; mostly Applesoft and
            Integer BASIC stuff under DOS 3.3, just silly demo stuff that
            was used back then to teach programming. But it was wonderful!

            I had been messing with BASIC programs on the TRS-80 systems,
            but the Apple was just so neat!  It had disk drives that were
            actually useful!  Oh sure, the TRS-80 systems had disk drives,
            but they were a real pain to work with, especially under BASIC.
            I fell in love with the Apple because you could put in a disk,
            boot the machine, and then just type CATALOG to see what was
            there!  And just type RUN and a file name to run a program!
            Amazing!

            And you could just type LOAD and a file name to load a program
            up, and then you could LIST it, make changes to it, almost
            anything!

            And you could make a turnkey disk by just writing a program,
            putting in a blank disk, and typing INIT HELLO.  Your own
            custom Hello programs!  You could even write one BASIC program
            that would run another program!  Jeez, it was just so freaking
            AWESOME.

            It all sounds quaint and kind of silly now, but at the time it
            just blew me away.  I was just absolutely in love.

            Soon we got a copy of AppleWorks (I'm pretty sure it was 1.0 at
            that point) and I started doing all sorts of things with it.  I
            think that's when I finally stopped using the other systems
            completely.  The IIe was just way too much more powerful, more
            friendly, and more FUN than any system I'd used before.

GEnieLamp>  You've been working for Resource Central for several years
"""""""""   now, doing work in several different capacities.  How did you
            first link up with Tom Weishaar and his merry crew?

DEAN ESMAY> I think I picked up my first copy of Open-Apple (which is
""""""""""  what A2-Central used to be called, even before the company was
            named Resource Central) only a year or so after I started using
            the Apple IIe as my primary computer at the school.  I got a
            copy of that first "Issue #0," the one that talked in glowing
            terms about what a wonderful system the Apple II was, despite
            the way Apple ignored it.  That's pretty funny considering that
            this was, what, seven or eight years ago?  We Apple II'ers have
            been complaining about Apple and worrying about the Apple II's
            future for at least that long, but we're still here!

            Well anyway, Open-Apple hooked me immediately and I scraped up
            what meager funds I had to subscribe.  Come to think of it, I
            may have actually gotten a teacher to subscribe to it for me. I
            can't remember anymore.  (Chuckle.)

            That little newsletter changed my life.  I remember telling Tom
            Weishaar that once and he seemed to think that was a kind of
            weird thing to say, but when I started reading it I was still
            in my mid-teens, and it more than anything else was responsible
            for plunging me into a long-term love affair with computers.
            Let me tell you, the direction my life would have gone in if I
            hadn't developed a serious interest in computers is kind of
            scary for me to think about even today.  I'd probably be
            working at McDonald's or eking out a living on food stamps or
            something.  <grin>

            That newsletter made me an expert, gave me something I could
            both understand and enjoy, and something I actually enjoyed
            WORKING with.  It made me a serious computer fanatic - and not
            just computers in general, but the Apple II in specific.  I
            still like working with other computers, and we now have others
            around the house, but my Apple II is where I do all my real
            work.

            Well anyway, I kept reading Open-Apple for years, and wrote in
            a few letters now and then that Tom actually published, which
            was a big thrill for me.  Then one issue of Open-Apple came
            along where Tom talked about how he'd been talked into taking
            over the Apple II areas on GEnie.

            Well I was already a diehard modem user; I'd been calling local
            systems for years and eventually started running a bulletin
            board myself (the Apple Tree BBS, under the auspices of the
            Apple Tree Computer Club, south-suburban Chicago user group
            I've been involved with for many years).  I had never used a
            large service like GEnie, but I sure knew my way around modems,
            and had some amount of expertise in computers and in the Apple
            II.  So when I saw Tom mention he was taking over GEnie's Apple
            II areas, I thought, "What the hell."  I worked up a resume and
            mailed it to him, saying I'd be very happy to work as a
            volunteer to help manage the area.

            I never got a response, so a few months later I sent him
            another copy, slightly updated.  I had learned by then that if
            you wanted to make sure those Open-Apple guys saw something and
            actually remembered it, you had to send at least two copies.
            <grin>

            Well I still didn't hear anything for a few months. And then
            one day I got this hand-scrawled note from Tom saying, and I'm
            quoting almost exactly, "Got your resume.  Can you send me some
            references?  Why aren't you in college?  Tom Weishaar." (Which
            is pretty classic Tom Weishaar - much of his correspondence
            reads that way.  Short and to the point!)

            So I wrote him another letter, including another resume and the
            requested list of references.  I didn't hear anything for
            another few months, so I basically forgot about it.

            Then one day sitting at my desk (I was working as a secretary
            at the time) a friend of mine called me up and said, "Hey, Tom
            Weishaar just called me and asked me about you."  Then two
            other people called me and said the same thing within the space
            of maybe ten minutes.  And these were all people that I'd put
            down as references!  Well I didn't have any chance to really
            absorb that news, because right after I hung up with one of
            them, the phone rings again and this time it's Tom Weishaar
            himself!  I was almost speechless; he was something of a hero
            to me and here he was calling me to talk about working for him.

            It was more than that; he actually wanted to fly me out to meet
            the rest of the crew and we even talked about salary over the
            phone.  Within a week he'd flown me to Kansas City for the
            interview.

            For a guy in his early 20's with nothing but a High School
            diploma, working a dead-end job but who loved his Apple,
            well... it was just the biggest thrill I'd ever experienced.
            And though the salary he could afford to offer wasn't really
            much, it was much more than I was making at the time.

            The worst part was that I had to turn down the job.  I wanted
            it badly, but at the time I was trapped in a marriage; a very
            unhappy one that I had been thinking about terminating for a
            while, but I was still young and insecure and not sure what to
            do.  Anyway, she couldn't/wouldn't move to Kansas City.  I told
            Tom I might get a divorce, or maybe try to work something else
            out, but I just couldn't come work for him now.  I hoped he'd
            hold the job open for me but I didn't know if or when I could
            take it.  So I left back for Chicago very depressed and
            unhappy.

            Well a few days later Tom calls me again and tells me that for
            the projects he wants me for, he doesn't see any reason I can't
            just stay in Chicago.  He wouldn't pay me quite as much, but I
            could set my own hours and work from where I was!

            I eventually did get out of that marriage (no one should ever
            marry at 19!) but somehow it's always worked out that I'd just
            stay here in Chicago anyway.  I seem to have started a minor
            trend at Resource Central though; seems like more and more of
            the people who do stuff for Tom (such as Bo Monroe, and
            HangTime) live nowhere near Kansas.

            I see I've left a lot of little things out, but I do have a
            tendency to drone on and on once I get going, so I'd better
            stop.

GEnieLamp>  While just a few years old, the A2-Central Summer Developer's
"""""""""   Conference (nicknamed "KansasFest") has become a veritable
            Apple II institution.  As a person who has attended every
            KansasFest conference, can you share some thoughts about
            KansasFest?  What would you like to see added for next year's
            conference?

DEAN ESMAY> Well one correction - the first KansasFest was called the
""""""""""  A2-Central Developer's Conference.  I remember how we all sort
            of nicknamed it KansasFest the first year.  But anyway, all
            subsequent conferences have been called simply the A2-Central
            Summer Conference - note that the word "Developer" was removed.

            It's not a developer conference; there's lots of stuff for
            programmers and developers, but plenty to interest
            non-programmers.

            But anyway, what can I tell you about KansasFest?

            Basically, I think anyone who is an Apple II aficionado (not
            just a user, but someone who really ENJOYS working with it)
            really should go.  Not so much for what you'll learn (though
            you'll probably learn some things) but for who you'll meet and
            how much fun you'll have.

            I always have a wonderful time there.  Meeting other Apple II
            users from around the world is such a treat.  It's a double
            treat if you're on GEnie, because you usually find at least a
            few people who you've met in RTC's or on the bulletin board,
            but never actually seen face to face.

            One of the strongest observations I want to make about
            KansasFest, though, and one which I think far too few people
            realize, is that the real fun is not the conference - it's
            hanging out in the rooms during the evening with other Apple II
            users!

            What's weird is some folks who come never catch on to that.
            They actually try to find hotels, or they hole up in their
            rooms, or just stick with one or two friends and don't
            socialize much.  Oh, what a mistake!

           The fact is that there's just nothing more fun than getting to
           know the other Apple IIers in the world.  I remember that first
           KansasFest four years ago; I just swallowed my many insecurities
           and started walking around introducing myself.  Nobody knew who
           I was, but soon I had a bunch of friends; computer enthusiasts
           all share certain personality traits, and Apple II users are an
           unusually friendly bunch anyway.

           What would I like to see added to KansasFest?  I can't think of
           a thing; it's always one of the highlights of my year now.  This
           year was by far the worst KansasFest I ever attended - but only
           because I was quite ill with some kind of respiratory problem,
           and then some kind of stomach problem on top of it, for half the
           event.  And a bunch of things we'd planned to promote the
           goings-on here on GEnie fell through because I was under the
           weather, and also some other things we planned didn't come
           through.

           But I STILL had fun!  The only thing that was not-fun was seeing
           all the other people having even more fun than me.  <wink>

           You will make friends at KansasFest, you will learn things about
           your Apple II, and you will have fun.  That's what it's all
           about.

           So, the only thing I can think of that should be added to
           KansasFest is more Apple II users.  Those of you who don't come
           just don't know what you're missing.

           That's all KansasFest needs - more of you guys out there who
           say, "Ah, I don't know if it's for me."  Yes it is!

GEnieLamp>  Before ascending to the head sysop of the Apple II Roundtable
"""""""""   on GEnie, you worked for a while as the head Apple II
            Roundtable librarian.  What did you find most rewarding about
            the librarian job?  Least rewarding?
-- 
Jerry Penner   jpenne@ee.ualberta.ca   Try a 1-line .sig today.
Newsgroups: comp.sys.apple2