HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Organization: University of Central Florida--Computer Services
Date: Monday, 27 Jul 1992 20:38:19 EST
From: Chris Maukonen <chris@aquarius.cc.ucf.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.support
Subject: Re: eighth anniversary of dad's death..

In article <63960019@acf3.NYU.EDU>, moy@acf3.NYU.EDU (Gloria J. Moy,N.DORM
C3,(212)9983456,) says:
>
>Today is the eighth anniversary of my father's death. I have mixed
>feelings about his death. Actually, I had a dream, that my sister had
>gone back to the hospital to find out how my dad died and she was given
>the run around by the nurses. Then she finally finds a doctor who is
>trying to help...-then I woke up.  I'm angry at my dad, but I guess too,
>I miss him alot. You know I never had a chance to make peace with him,
>and to share (what today are my accomplishments) with him, seeking
>his approval-something that I never got from him.
>
>So thats whats happening in my life today.

 Just reading this post stirs up a lot of feelings.

My father died 26 years and 6 months ago. I was 14 at the time. The night
before he died I had a fight with him and I still do not remember if I ever
made up with him. To this day I am still trying to get rid of the anger and
resentment I have towards him. Due to the abuse, neglect and lack of caring.
Not only that, I just found out from my mother that he knew he was sick
years before he died and refused to due anything about it. This of course
raised some even stronger feelings of anger not only at him but at my
mother also for not insisting that he go to a doctor. I know what it was like
trying to gain the approval and never getting it for I never got any from my
dad either. Now I always seem to be seeking the approval of others and
feeing hurt when I do not get it. And always feeling inaadequate. So I push
myself and try to be perfect at everything I do and never measuring up to
my own standards. Trying to hide my feelings behind a mask of arrogance and
judgemnet of other people.

I am getting better. I am begining to connect with other people. But I still
feel so empty sometimes. And I still wonder if it well ever go away.


Chris
From: pepke@ds1.scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)
Newsgroups: alt.support
Subject: Re: Promises people make
Date: 24 Jul 92 22:08:46 GMT
Reply-To: pepke@ds1.scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)
Organization: Florida State University, but I don't speak for them

I think that this is just the way amateur projects with random people happen.
One or two individuals wind up doing all the work.  I don't think you should
feel bad about your skills as an organizer.  Though there do exist people who
can organize such things and have them work, the task is at least a couple of
orders of magnitude more difficult than managing a team of employees. 

-EMP
Newsgroups: alt.support
From: hoppersm@infonode.ingr.com (Marcia Hoppers)
Subject: Re: eighth anniversary of dad's death..
Organization: Intergraph Corporation, Huntsville, AL.
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 15:27:56 GMT

In article <63960019@acf3.NYU.EDU> moy@acf3.NYU.EDU (Gloria J. Moy,N.DORM C3,(212)9983456,) writes:
>
>Today is the eighth anniversary of my father's death. I have mixed
>feelings about his death. Actually, I had a dream, that my sister had


I am reading _The Grief Recovery Handbook_ and I think it might be
helpful to you. One thing I have learned is that unresolved grief can
influence your life for years and that you have to resolve it yourself
rather than waiting for time to heal.

Of course, putting this into practice is difficult as I am finding out
since my Dad's death July 17. Things are very difficult but one thing that
helps is talking about it a lot with my Mom, sister and friends. This is also
emphasized in the Grief Recovery Handbook that you cannot resolve grief alone.

Have you talked to your sister about your dream? She may be having
similar feelings. (Please email me if you prefer).
Just remembering that other people are grieving along with you (for me
it's my mom, sister and my Dad's sister) makes you want to reach out and
comfort them and that in turn helps you share your own grief.


Marcia
hoppersm@infonode.ingr.com
From: joemays@bsu-cs.bsu.edu (Joseph F. Mays)
Newsgroups: alt.support
Subject: Loss and how to adjust
Date: 22 Jul 92 16:12:14 GMT
Distribution: alt.support
Organization: Dept of CS Ball State University Muncie In

----- News saved at 22 Jul 92 12:53:22 GMT
In article <1992Jul21.191115.12686@rchland.ibm.com> Pooder@vnet.ibm.com, but I can't receive e-mail, so forget it. writes:
>This looks like a good place to find some suggestions of how to get on with
>my life after having an almost unbearable loss.  I hope it is.

You are suffering from an extremely severe case of survivor's syndrome.
Your letter indicates that you are in therapy, but says nothing about the
type of therapist you are seeing.  There are therapists who specialize
in dealing with survivor's syndrome, and you should definitely be seeing
one.  Many therapists will be unable to deal with the degree of pain and
guilt you have coming down on you.  In this situation, they might even
make things worse.  Find a survivor's syndrome specialist in your area 
and speak with him or her.

In the meantime, ask yourself two very basic simple questions:  Are you
eating?  Are you sleeping?

These questions are so basic that they might almost seem glib or silly,
but they aren't.  Grief and guilt will keep you from eating and keep you
awake, and the physical drain caused by this will make the rest of your 
life difficult, which only increases the problems.  Make a schedule of
basic daily things, and stick to it.  You will almost have to relearn
how to deal with simple things in life.  There is nothing wrong with
this.  Stick to a schedule that will allow you to cope with basic
daily processes.  As you cope with simple things, your belief in your-
self and your ability to take on more will increase.

I would wish you luck, but it isn't necessary.  There will come a time
when this is past you.  You will never forget it, but you will be able
to forgive yourself and move on.  For now, just get a handle on the 
basic things in life.

Joe
Newsgroups: alt.support.cancer
From: anne@cco.caltech.edu (Anneliese Lilje)
Subject: Re: Cut-backs
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 21:51:36 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.120025.16313@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> ae299@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jack L. Wallace) writes:
>
>Does anyone know why Congress is trying to reduce the money allocated
>to cancer research?
>
>Does anyone know why Medicare is trying to drastically reduce/ cut-out
>the amount of money paid for the treatment of cancer patients?
>
>Is it fair to question their motives?  I think so!  Fewer cured cancer
>patients means less money paid out of the Social Security funds.  Just
>one more way that our Government is working against us.  They will smile
>and shake your hand as long as you are healthy, but God help you if you
>are "old " and sick.
>
>How about some feedback.  What can we do?

1) Vote
2) Write Letters
3) Start a group in your area who's agenda is increasing federal funds
for cancer research. Since all forms of cancer are probably affected
by cuts than this would mean more people.
4) Get educated on who is who in the local area who may have some influence
on federal/state/local funding. AND TARGET THEM.

anne
>
>Jack Wallace
>Cancer survivor and over 60
>
>-- 


Newsgroups: alt.support.cancer
From: ae299@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jack L. Wallace)
Subject: Cut-backs
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio, (USA)
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 92 12:00:25 GMT


Does anyone know why Congress is trying to reduce the money allocated
to cancer research?

Does anyone know why Medicare is trying to drastically reduce/ cut-out
the amount of money paid for the treatment of cancer patients?

Is it fair to question their motives?  I think so!  Fewer cured cancer
patients means less money paid out of the Social Security funds.  Just
one more way that our Government is working against us.  They will smile
and shake your hand as long as you are healthy, but God help you if you
are "old " and sick.

How about some feedback.  What can we do?

Jack Wallace
Cancer survivor and over 60

-- 
Newsgroups: alt.support
From: xine@wpi.WPI.EDU (a poor excuse for a red m+m)
Subject: Re: Loss and how to adjust
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 14:59:03 GMT



i understand most of what you went through, as i, in a way, killed my (ex)
fiance (he felt he couldn't live without me and took his life after i broke
off the relationship).  the guilt was unbearable for what seemed like forever
but was only a couple months, and friends (of ours) got upset with me after 
a month or so because i wasn't moving on.  i felt guilt about even looking
at another male in a sexual way, because i was sure that michael would have
been upset-- finally, though, i realized that he loved me so very much that
he would want me to move on, and have the life he always thought i deserved,
with people that i loved.  that was a big turning point.
i didn't get involved with someone until six months after his death.  this 
person never knew mike, but he met me right after mike died, and watched me
go through everything, and helped me out when he thought it would be helpful;
otherwise he just stayed out of the way.  i think that this was the best thing
i did:  get involved with someone supportive, but someone who didn't know the
deceased, so that the guilt would not be fed.  he asks about michael sometimes,
and i try to shut him up-- i think it is best to be with someone who is willing
to let the past be the past, over and done with.
i had went to one counseling session, didn't find it helpful because the
doctor told me stuff i already knew, but just couldn't implement or make 
myself believe.  my friends- our friends- were the most supportive, loving
group for me, even though they kicked me in the ass a few times with huge
lightbulbs of truth that i didn't want to see then.  like my delusion that
something like this would happen with every man i ever became infatuated with.

		hope this helps some, and please feel free to contact
		me via email (i tried emailing you, but it said it would
		not work to do so).

								--xine

--
  ... xine@wpi.wpi.edu... Christine Jesensky... a poor excuse for a red m&m...
	
	"Thank you for annihilating everything I know."
						--Joey the Lemur, MST3K

Newsgroups: alt.support
From: helie@bach.udel.edu (Ray)
Subject: Re: I need some advice...
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 17:06:45 GMT
Expires: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 04:00:00 GMT

In article <1992Jul28.172124.13172@fs7.ece.cmu.edu> 
news@fornax.ECE.CMU.EDU (USENET News System) writes:

" The major problem that I'm having is this: I would like to tell her how I 
  feel about her but I'm not sure if I should at this point. "

If you're not sure, then don't.  What's the rush?  Is she going to leave
you if you don't tell her?  Just keep enjoying her company, continue
to go out, and most likely later on you will really feel comfortable telling
her how you feel.  Maybe for now, just tell her that you really enjoy
being around her.  That's a "soft" place to start.  8-)

As an afterthought, the fact that you are spending your time with her
tells her right there that you find her interesting and fun.  This
should tell you the same thing about where she is coming from.

Good luck with whatever you decide!


Ray  8-)
From: heath@athena.cs.uga.edu (Terrance Heath)
Newsgroups: alt.support
Subject: Climbin' the walls and Chewin' on the Wallpaper
Date: 23 Jul 92 18:51:51 GMT
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens


Well, that's what I feel like doing. I've been going to AA for a week,
and I've been sober for about a week.......AND I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING
MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ususally drink until I get a "click" in my head, and everything gets
quiet. I mean, I don't hear all the things that are going on up there,
the insecurity, hurt, anger, guilt, anxiety.  I would all go away...or
at least it went away for a while. Later, I had to drink more and more
to get it to go away....

So now there is a riot going on in my head, with all these things
battling back and forth, AND I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM IT!!!!!!!!!!  
I can't make it stop. It just keeps raging 'round and 'round, and on
and on. 

Someone please, just tell me it'll get quiet again soon.
-- 
"Black men loving black men is THE revolutionary act!"
			-Joseph Beam_
Terrance Heath 
heath@athena.cs.uga.edu
Newsgroups: alt.support
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: eighth anniversary of dad's death..
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 18:20:45 GMT

chris@aquarius.cc.ucf.edu (Chris Maukonen) writes:

: My father died 26 years and 6 months ago. I was 14 at the time. The night
: before he died I had a fight with him and I still do not remember if I ever
: made up with him. To this day I am still trying to get rid of the anger and
: resentment I have towards him. Due to the abuse, neglect and lack of caring.
: Not only that, I just found out from my mother that he knew he was sick
: years before he died and refused to due anything about it. This of course
: raised some even stronger feelings of anger not only at him but at my
: mother also for not insisting that he go to a doctor. I know what it was like

He had the right to not go to the doctor.  That was his choice to make.  The
fallout of that choice was that he hurt you and your mother and probably
meny others by his apparant denial.  But, again, it was *his* decision.

: trying to gain the approval and never getting it for I never got any from my
: dad either. Now I always seem to be seeking the approval of others and
: feeing hurt when I do not get it. And always feeling inaadequate. So I push
: myself and try to be perfect at everything I do and never measuring up to
: my own standards. Trying to hide my feelings behind a mask of arrogance and
: judgemnet of other people.

I just read a book taht you might want to look at.  It's called "The Knight
in Rusty Armor" by Robert Fisher (I think).

: I am getting better. I am begining to connect with other people. But I still
: feel so empty sometimes. And I still wonder if it well ever go away.

Oh, it does, with a lot of TLC that you give yourself!  Please don't try to
fill that void with an SO, though.  It doesn't work -- trust me :(
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG		erc@apple.com	<-- preferred email address!
          "This is the final task I will ever give you, and  it  goes
801/      on  forever.   Act  happy,  feel happy, be happy, without a
269-      reason in the world.  Then you can love, and  do  what  you
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: Re: TCBY and crabs
From: geb@dsl.pitt.edu (gordon e. banks)
Date: 27 Jul 92 16:11:14 GMT
Organization: Decision Systems Laboratory, Univ. of Pittsburgh, PA.

In article <1992Jul20.163332.17757@newstand.syr.edu> mprisco@lynx.cat.syr.edu writes:


>>Potato(e)s are sugar free, as far as I know.  Apples have
>>a bit of sugar in them, but not enough to cause too much trouble
>>even for diabetics as long as they don't eat more than one.
>>
>Well, you're the doc, Doc, but I know that when my mother,
>who had adult onset diabetes, ate starchy foods, specifically
>pasta or potatos, and monitored her sugar levels (with one of
>those stick in the strip, get a digital readout thingys) her
>sugar was always elevated.  I think my mother-in-law was advised
>about this also, from a nutritionist.  It seems to be what happens
>to the foods as they're digested that's the problem.  Isn't this
>true with alcohal, which is sugar free but bad for diabetics?

Diabetics have to take sufficient insulin to cover all the carbohydrates
they eat, not just sugar.  Sugar is just such concentrated carbohydrate
that it can cause them more trouble.  What diabetics need to do
is be consistent in the amount and proportions of carbohydrates they
eat so that can find the proper dose of insulin and not have
fluctuations of blood sugar.






-- 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gordon Banks  N3JXP      | "Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and
geb@cadre.dsl.pitt.edu   |  it is shameful to surrender it too soon." 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: breigh@aio.jsc.nasa.gov (Breigh)
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: Re: Roller Skating for Excersie
Date: 30 Jul 1992 14:54:31 GMT
Organization: LESC

In article <1992Jul29.174306.15763@Cadence.COM>, fran@Cadence.COM (Fran Peterson) writes:
> 
> In article <19920728111339SASTLS@mvs.sas.com> SASTLS@mvs.sas.com (Tamara Shaffer) writes:
> > 
> >
> I'm interested in taking up roller skating, but how much harder is it
to skate on the rollerblades than 4 wheels.  I've never iceskated.

Thanks,

Cecilia
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: shafer@rigel.dfrf.nasa.gov (Mary Shafer)
Subject: Re: Fat Substitue(s) ??
Organization: NASA Dryden, Edwards, Cal.
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 21:48:24 GMT

On 25 Jul 1992 19:37:23 GMT, veklerov@spindle.ee.lbl.gov (eugene veklerov) said:

EV> In article <111840003@hpfcmdd.fc.hp.com> amy@hpfcmdd.fc.hp.com (Amy O'Keefe-Hyser) writes:
>
> As anyone heard any more on the development of a fat substitute ?
> I think I heard it referred as 'Simpless' (spell ??).  I thought
> it was about to come out in products like ice cream, but I haven't
> seen it or heard more about it ...
>
> Amy.

EV> Ii is available in ice-cream.  I believe the correct spelling is
EV> 'simplese'.  All major supermarkets carry it.  It comes in several
EV> flavors, including vanilla, chocolate, rocky road, etc.  Look for
EV> small blue containers.  If memory serves me well, some varieties
EV> also use NutraSweet.

EV> Does anyone know if that substance is used in other products?

Yes.  There's a line of reduced-fat cheese spreads that uses
Simplesse.  They're pretty good, I think.  The brand is Kaukauna or
Wisconsin or some such and they come in little plastic tubs in the
deli section.  They have about half the fat of regular cheese spread.

--
Mary Shafer  DoD #0362 KotFR NASA Dryden Flight Research Facility, Edwards, CA
shafer@rigel.dfrf.nasa.gov                    Of course I don't speak for NASA
 "A MiG at your six is better than no MiG at all."  Unknown US fighter pilot
From: abeals@autodesk.com (Andrew Scott Beals -- KC6SSS)
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: Re: need help getting back on track
Date: 27 Jul 92 22:44:15 GMT
Distribution: usa

peggys@orca.TEKTRONIX.COM writes:

>Speaking of Jenny Craig...I have a friend who is going now & they are now only
>allowing them one diet pop a week...they believe the Nurtasweet encourages
>cravings.  Anyone else heard this.  I know there is alot of controversy about
>Nutrasweet.

Yes,  Hank Roberts <hank@well.sf.ca.us> has the references on this.  Probably
a NYT or Time/Newsweek article on it.

Bring back cyclamates!

[I want my Mr. Wiggle]
--
Andrew Scott Beals	abeals@autodesk.com, kc6sss@n6ldl.#nocal.ca.usa.na
50.115MHz
Vivu libere a>u mortu!
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: jonb@Ingres.COM (Jon Berger)
Subject: Re: A news/email diet scam?
Reply-To: jonb@ingres.com
Organization: Ingres, an ASK Company
Date: 27 Jul 92 23:14:05 GMT

In article <n8lmqtc.rfelix@netcom.com>, rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix) writes:
>I got the e-mail,too, in response to my post regarding my mom's
>stroke!
>
>Kinda makes you think it is an automatic thing to anyone who posts,
>doesn't it.

Kinda does.  I got it too, in response to a solicitation for opinions
about Geneen Roth and Breaking Free.  The wording of the message was
general enough to suggest that the "new program" was actually something
new Roth had come up with, and the "no diet" theme sounded Roth-like
too, so, not having seen this thread yet, I responded "Sure, send me any
information you have."  What I got was a request for a mailing address so
he could send me a video.  Now, he hasn't come right out and said he's
selling anything yet, but when someone starts talking about videos it
makes me pretty reluctant to believe that he's just this nice guy with
some useful advice.  My credulity does have some limits.

This is totally flippin' inexcusable, in my opinion.  If this guy
doesn't go away, someone ought to complain to whoever runs wherever he's
posting from.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jon Berger     jonb@ingres.com     {mtxinu,sun,amdahl,pyramid}!ingres!jonb
"If you push something hard enough, it will fall over." 
                                         -- Fudd's First Law of Opposition
From: georgec@eng.umd.edu (George B. Clark)
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: Re: Anyone tried Hypnosis?
Date: 27 Jul 92 23:42:11 GMT
Organization: University of Maryland

In article <1992Jul27.200127.902@adobe.com> riggle@adobe.com (Kathleen Riggle) writes:

In 1975, I smoked 2 packs per day. I went to a hypnotist for one
session. I quit cold turkey. I had no withdrawal. These past 17
years I've had no desire for tobacco, and I haven't smoked one
cigarette. How's that for a testimonial!

Participants in this diet forum were recently discussing how one's
mental appetite extends beyond one's physical appetite. For example,
you may be stuffed, but if someone puts a piece of pecan pie in
front of you, your mental appetite may take charge.

Anyway, both hypnosis and neurolinguistic programming (NLP) can
help you use the power of imagery to reduce your "mental appetite" for
bad foods. For example, advertising on TV always shows the food,
soft drink, or beer, close up with lots of detail. This invokes
lots of mental imagery. NLP teaches you to take that same image, change
it from a color picture to a black-and-white picture, and imagine it
receding in the distance rather than coming at you.

One interesting development in hypnosis audio cassettes is worth
mentioning. Instead of listening to one dialog, separate dialogs
are concurrently spoken into each stereo headphone channel. This
confuses the conscious mind, so the messages can reach the
subconcious. I know of one such tape specifically for weight loss.

None of the above is an endorsement for NLP or hypnosis for
weight loss because I really don't know if there is good data
to show that either will work. I'm simply making conversation
about personal experience. However, the tape I refer to only costs
$20. Since your investment would be small, you may wish to give
it a try.