From: HF.GTD@forsythe.stanford.edu (Gabrielle Daniels)
Subject: Re: Rating brothers and white guys
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 22:46:27 GMT

One thing about Mr.  Tight Ass Soapbox Ronald Davis I found to be
indicative of certain segments of the black community:  Black folk
are still so uptight and upset about sexuality and its expression
that they are worse than white folks in trying to suppress it.
Especially such stuff coming from black women or black gay people.

This is a double standard, naturally.  Black men get sexually
jealous about black women having relationships of any kind with
white men, not unlike white guys getting upset about white women
preferring black men.  In some way, this is like walking on black
mens terrain...only they are supposed to consider doing white.

No doubt some of this is a legacy from slavery, where black men and
black women had no ownership of their own sex lives, much less their
physical selves.  Sex most often has gotten black folk in trouble.
It has gotten people lynched.  But children, this whore/madonna,
white puritannical bullshit exemplified by Davis has gotta to end.
It is hobbling other folks lives.  We gotta stop reacting to white
folks virtual SM fantasies about us, instead of analyzing and
affirming what our sex lives actually are, as my girl bell hooks
talked about in Black Looks, Race and Representation.  Always, black
folks seem to turn around and do the white folks jobs for them:
suppressing black women and black gay people, and any expression of
black sexuality, no matter how clean or dirty, at all.

A dude wrote me back privately that my piece was prurient.  I fired
back that it was only in his own mind.  Some of these cats I am
happy not to even remember anymore, you know?  Im sure every black
woman in America has a story to tell that touches a small bit about
what I am saying.  Seems like all what we black folk do is prurient,
especially if we are having interracial relationships.  Being with a
white guy is no big, heavy, damn deal to me.  None of this occurred
in some cave or in some closet or shed or out in some bushes.
Jeezus.  Lets demystify this Mandingo mess right now and check out
what black sexual power actually means for us.

I suggest you chumps always looking to see the worst of anything to
check out in your minds what exactly was this salaciousness and
prurience was in my post.  Because I had fun, sometimes?  Because I
had the nerve to say what I liked and what I didnt like?  Because
some white guy pulled a Fatal Attraction on me?  Like The Pointer
Sisters once sang:  Take a look/take another look/a long look/and
see.  The word does not always justify the deed.  Hell, no:  Im not
sorry I was friends or lovers with white guys.  Im only sorry they
turned out to be the WRONG white guys.  Same with the sorry-ass
brothers I picked as well.

I also keep telling you guys...Im thirty-eight years old.  Im
looking at some of this stuff in hindsight.  These things happened
way before some of you were born, or even conscious of yourselves,
not to be ageist.  An 18-year-old doesnt have half the experience as
someone my age, and Im saying this about myself.  After I left my
mothers house to go to college I was free to have a life, you know?
I didnt even date in high school; my nose was deep into the books!
Black folks lead different lives.  So, before alla yall start saying
what you wont and dont do, give yourself a few years.  You may learn
something.