From: Richard.Ormerod@newcastle.ac.uk (Rich Ormerod)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Jokes - Names
Date: 8 Jul 92 13:04:39 GMT
Organization: University of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, NE1 7RU




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Name Jokes
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What do you call a man standing between two buildings?
Ali

What do you call a woman full of holes?
Annette

What do you call a man who has no arms and legs who is nailed to the wall?
Art

What do you call the arms and legs of the above mentioned man?
Pieces of Art

What do you call a woman with a steak on her back?
Barbie

What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on head?
Beatrix

What do you call the same woman playing pool at the same time?
Beatrix Potter

What do you call a woman throwing her bills in the fire?
Bernadette

What do you call a man stuffed in a letterbox?
Bill

What do you call a man floating in the ocean?
Bob

What do you call a man who is being electrocuted?
Buzz

What do you call a man with seagulls on his head?
Cliff

What do you call a man with oil coming out of the top of his head?
Derek

What do you call a man with no arms, legs or torso?
Dick
What do you call the same man swimming the channel?
Clever Dick

What do you call a woman at the bottom of an elevator shaft?
Dot

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Doug

What do you call a man without a spade in his head?
Douglas

What do you call a man with a wooden head?
Edward

What do you call a man with three wooden heads?
Edward Woodward

What do you call a man with four wooden heads?
I don't know, but Edward Woodward would

What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen

What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg longer than the other?

Ireen

What do you call a woman with both legs the same length?
Nolene

What do you call a man covered in mustard?
Frank

What do you call a man with a bottle of gin on his head?
Gordon

What do you call a pig in a black and white movie?
Graham

What do you call a man who gets $20,000 a year from the government?
Grant

What do you call a man sitting in a vegetable garden?
Herb

What do you call a woman who is stuck to the walls at Christmas?
Holly

What do you call a man who looks a bit off-colour?
Hugh

What do you call a man who has his head stuck under your car?
Jack

What do you call a man who gives a girl all the exercise she needs?
Jim

What do you call a man with toilet paper in his mouth?
John

What do you call a man with a very small dick?
Justin

What do you call a man who knocks knights off horses?
Lance

What do you call a man with a raincoat?
Mack

What do you call a man with two raincoats?
  Max
What do you call a man with two raincoats standing in a cemetery?
Max Bygraves

What do you call a man with an iron on his head?
Mark

What do you call a man who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man who repeats eveything you say, except louder?
Mike

What do you call a man with his legs chopped off at the knees?
Neil

What do you call a lady with a cocktail stick in her head?
Olive

What do you call a lady that you wouldn't bother to pick up?
Penny

What do you call a man who has been buried for 2,000 years?
Pete

What do you call a man in the back of a tip truck?
Phil

What do you call a woman who fills the cracks in your walls?
Polly-filler

What do you call a man travelling at the speed of light?
Ray

What do you call a man who works in a breaker's yard?
Rex

What do you call a man with a large bank balance?
Rich

What do you call a man with a pole through his head?
Rod

What do you call a man with a pole through his knee?
Rodney

What do you call an epileptic in a pile of leaves?
Russell

What do you call a wet man lying on a beach?
Sandy

What do you call a man waterskiing?
Skip

What do you call a man buried up to his neck?
Spike

What do you call a man in the shallow end of a pool?
Wade

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his nose?
Warren

What do you call a man sitting on a lawyer's desk?
Will

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him - he still won't come

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs who is chewing a razor?
Still no bloody idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs and no will?
Still no fucking idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs, no body and no head?
A hat rack

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