From: larry@b8.b8.ingr.com (Larry Billings)
Subject: Re: What is gold-digging?
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 16:11:41 GMT

In article <oneil.724176019@cwis>, oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
> rkf@wildrose.infoserv.com (Ray Fink) writes:
> 
> You know, it has a lot to do with how a woman is taught.  I would say that
> most women are taught to expect the guy to pay.  My folks, on the other hand,
> taught me that I should pay my own way in.  When I was first dating as a 
> teenager, in fact, my dad would give me the money to cover my share of the
> evening.  He told me that the guy wouldn't be able to pull anything like, "I
> paid for this date.  Now you /owe/ me something..."

That's really mean of your father to take away my best ploy.  :)

> And I've always paid ever since.  Just because I found that most guys were
> really relieved that I did do so.  If a guy really acted upset when I tried
> to pay my way in to a movie or whatever, I would let him pay.  But I would
> tell him that I'd want to pay for him another time.

After being dumped by a girl/woman I really liked because I paid and turned
down her offer (which I thought she was doing to be polite) I say something
like "that's not necessary" and try to figure out from her reaction how to 
proceed.  Of course with my track record for figuring out womens reactions
I'm still probabily wrong 3/4 of the time. (partial smiley)

> Some guys are extremely offended by the girl offering to pay for her share.
> Other guys (most it seems) are relieved.  It means that she likes the 
> pleasure of their company.

I try to remain neutral.

> 
> >>So, would any guys out there in net.land consider any of this 
> >>"gold-digging"?  I'm honestly not very familiar with the term.

Isn't that where you get dirt under the fingernails and slosh water all 
over yourself from that piepan?  I've only done it once or twice when I was 
stationed in San Deigo, seemed like a lot of work for the small amount of 
gold we found.  :)
> 
> You and I should talk.  I'll usually let a guy open the car door, if he
> insists, but it really, really, really ANNOYS the hell out of me. 
> 

This I do not understand, I have never had a female (at least verbally or
from obvious hints) who was upset when I opened the door for them.  Very 
few of them waited for me to come around the car when we arrived at our
destination, and I did not care either way.  I usually open the door for her
at the start point of any destination (I have to unlock the door anyway,
well now I don't thanks to my annoying car alarm which unlocks the doors
when I disarm the alarm  :-{) ), and there is a side benefit to doing this,
if her dress should get caught in the door I will see it before we drive 
down the road looking stupid.  :) (actually I make sure all parts of the 
anatomy and clothing is in before closing the door.
If you feel it really demeans or insults you, you could resipocate by leaning
over and unlocking and even opening his door for him.  I've had two or three 
women do that.  I've even had women, when they drove, open the door for me,
and I didn't see anything degrading about it.
For MOST people it is simple curtiosy, and getting upset is rather silly.

> >-- 
> >-- Ray
> 
> Sharon
> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu
> 

Larry Billings

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