From: krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith)
Subject: Re: Styling, profiling and pretending-the games before the fall
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 16:14:46 GMT

In article <1ehnm1INNj85@morrow.stanford.edu> HF.GTD@forsythe.stanford.edu (Gabrielle Daniels) writes:
>kenny@osf.org (Kenneth Crudup) elucidates Re: Styling, profiling
>and pretending about the following HF.GTD@forsythe.stanford.edu
>(Gabrielle Daniels) donut hole:
>
>GTD>Why waste anybody's time, brother man.
>GTD>Time's a wastin for women wanting commitment.

If a woman wants "committment" and is not getting same, then the woman
should take action, as in telling the man to "put up or shut up", and
consequently sticking around or breaking off, depending upon whether
the man responds to her satisfaction.  This business of muddling around,
craving committment, while not getting and neither _demanding_ same
has got to be some form of self-martyrdom, and in my book, is "for the
birds".  Is there something foreign about this concept?
>
>KC This is somewhat scary...."Time's wasting for c*mm*tm*ent-minded
>KC women" smacks of the "there ain't no good brothers out there", as if
>KC the message is "Black men- get yours now while there's some left".
>
>
>GTD Look, man.  Women who want commitment hate being f**ked over and
>GTD having their time wasted by chumps who just wanna play.  I urge any
>GTD woman to drop kick a man who won't and get on with her life with
>GTD someone else new who may be just what she wants.  The message is
>GTD really, eat my dust, brothers.

I would be the last one to condone the "f**king over" of one human being
by another.  I would also be the last one to approve of one human being
"wasting the time" of another.  I am using "gender neutral" statements
here, as I have yet to be convinced that any gender has a "lock" on the
time-wastage, or the f**cking-over of the other.  The bottom line is,
be ye man or wo-man, that if you are in a relationship that is, in some
substantial way, UN-satisfying to _you_, then _you_ should take decisive
action.  If you cannot get satisfaction, then leave.  Break clean, and
get on with your life.  Blaming the other person, or the other gender,
for that matter, is not going to help you.
>
>KC Funny thing is, I've got other stable, professional, non-funny-
>KC looking Black friends who are womanless, or are complaining about
>KC the woman they're with, but figure they're gonna do worse than what
>KC they've got if they drop-kick homegirl.
>
>
>GTD Well, just think about the sisters commiserating with their friends
>GTD at the club during Happy Hour about the quality of the brothers they
>GTD are presently roped and hog-tied to.

Nobody is "roped and hog-tied" to anybody (outside of marriage/parenthood,
that is :-)).  We all have our options.  I, for one, will waste no pity
on one (male or female, it makes no differrence), who, having his/her
options, refuses to exercise them.
>
>...................... stuff deleted ............................
>KC >Is it me, or has someone been hurt either (a) a lot, or (b)
>KC >lately?

I was thinkin' the same thing, bruthaman!
>
>GTD>Man, there's gotta be something about me you've gotta flame.
>
>KC Not true.  (Fifteen seconds after I posted that I wondered if
>KC you'd take it the wrong way.)  It's just that you sound a little
>KC (yeah, and here's that "comparison" thing we talked about) like a
>KC couple of women I know who've started to give up on us, (usually
>KC after choosing style over substance, but I get the idea you don't
>KC tend to make that faux pas), and now every third sentence is "men
>KC don't c*mm*t/men don't love us/men are dogs/men are trying to
>KC play us"...you get the idea.
>
>
>GTD Look.  Since I'm almost at Jack Benny's stop-the-clock age as a
>GTD single black woman, and I do not have that kind of patience and
>GTD understanding when I was young and untried and 20--later for that
>GTD mess!  Most heterosexual black women of any age are part of the
>GTD evergrowing species, feduppa maxima, with subflora paidmadues and
>GTD takenomoshit.  Like my girl Terry Mc Millan, after we have gone to
>GTD college, gotten the degrees and the jobs, we expect excellence and
>GTD we get donkey dung.  Small wonder we growl every few seconds and
>GTD barely smile every other month or so.

What is that sound?  Listen.  Can you hear it (tick-tick-tick-tick)?
Sounds like ...... (tick-tick-tick-tick)?  It must be the sound of
that relentless takin'-no-prisoners "biological clock"!  That must
be why all the preoccupation with brothers wasting the time of, and
otherwise f**cking over sisters, rather than people wasting the time
of, and otherwise f**cking over other other people.  Homegirl is on
her "final countdown" to that "first gray hair" and that "first wrinkle".
She is also fast approaching the end of her childbearing years.  She
has no time to waste.  This must also be why she is apparrently "down"
on the younger brothers, as, all other things being equal, a younger
person, (male or female) is less likely to want to settle down, than
one who has been around long enough to have "made his way" in the world.

>
>GTD When all else fails, brothers and sisters should be looking within
>GTD themselves if they keep meeting the dogs and the bitches.  Just what
>GTD are you doing to attract these people?  Why do you keep meeting
>GTD them?  Have you made a decision NEVER to meet the chumps again in
>GTD this lifetime?  Check yourselves out.
>

Gabrielle and I actually _agree_ on something!
(doing my best Fred Sanford impression ... clutching chest and staggerring..)

	Elizabeth!
	I'm comin' to see you honey!
	This is the _big_ one!
>
>*******************************************************************
>                  GABRIELLE THERESA DANIELS

Keith