HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Subject: Re: Take up a hobby, instead
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Organization: International FurHarvester: Combine a Commie for Christ
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 05:19:33 GMT

donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:

>Personally, I decided to set my sights high, bide my time and find
>THE right person to go through life with, die old and alone if that's
>what it took to build the kind of life I wanted.  It wasn't easy, it
>took a long time but it worked.  If I'd taken the easy way out and just
>settled for anybody, I would've deserved what I got.

	After having met your wife, a charming and incredibly nice
person (almost as nice as April, who might happen to read this), I
just have to ask -- did you deserve what you've gotten?

	I certainly didn't deserve April.  Besides all the usual great
attributes, she didn't even flinch when I returned from the gun show and
mentioned that I'd erased half of my bank account, and a few short
hours thereafter promised to help me towards the purchase of a new
motorcycle.  I don't deserve this.

	At the risk of being flamed off the net, would anybody care to
speculate on whether this is merely my undeserved good fortune or just
her trying to give me a guilt complex?

	Peeve: my wisdom teeth are scheduled for removel on Tuesday, a
mere two days before thanksgiving.  This is certain the mitigate the
normal feasting routine.

	!Peeve: I'll be the only one not gaining weight this holiday.

	Note: I'll be sure to describe the procedure in annoying detail
as I'm certain this is soon to become the most painful thing I have
ever known, including the cup shattered and driven into the Dangly Bits
episode of my soccer-playing youth.  You've been warned.

--
< Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu viking@iastate.edu >
<  ISU only censors what I read, not what I say.  Don't blame them.  >
<  "This isn't an answer, it's a pagan dance around a midnight fire  >
<   written in intellectual runes." -- Rich Young                    >
From: @prism.cs.orst.edu ()
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Take up a hobby, instead
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 19 Nov 1992 21:43:39 GMT
Organization: Up the,
NNTP-Posting-Host: prism.cs.orst.edu

In article <Bxy4LM.7z9@vcd.hp.com> dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe) writes:
>Elaine Richards writes:
>mentioned was precisely that: men care how they're treated.  This stuff
>about men just concerned about getting sex is poodlesnot.  Hell, on my
>list of concerns, my concern about "getting some" ranks even below my
>concern about why Geoff Miller voted for Clinton.
>
Maybe he wasn't "getting any" with Bush.                         

My newsfeed is still emulating a flight simulator in wind sheer mode,
but I really thought that was worth the 5 minutes it took to post it.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      Tim Mefford           | "...but you can't make her think!"      
  tim@physics.orst.edu      |          - Dorothy Parker
________________________________________________________________
From: tim@comphy.physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Take up a hobby, instead
Keywords: Losers
Date: 22 Nov 92 00:09:36 GMT
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Organization: Up the,
NNTP-Posting-Host: physics.orst.edu

In article <By1wqt.888@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:
>
>Peeve: I heard the adjective "Philistine" used towards a person who drank
>his beer cold today.  Actually, I was the one who said it.  While I know who
>the Philistines were, I can't figure out what they could have done that
>would have warrnted just a phrase in the English language.  This is highly
>annoying, as no references I've checked even mention such an act.
>
I read a fascinating article in the paper on this subject just this week.
The Philistines are, of course, renowned for being culturally barbaric and
generally not nice because of numerous stories told in the Hebrew Bible
slandering their character, abilities, and manners.  David was using his
slingshot against some sort of neanderthal, club carrying, hairy gorilla,
or so the story goes.

It seems that some archeologists digging in the holy land have found the 
remnants of Philistine civilization.  The evidence is fairly convincing
that the Philistines were actually Greeks scattered after the war against
Troy.  They were, in fact, heirs to the entire Hellenic tradition of hearth,
use of metals, and artistic development.  So, while Samson was fighting with
the jawbone of an ass, the "barbarian" Philistines were using bronze armor,
spears, and cooking instruments.  The Jews meanwhile, were still basically
shepherds, yet we know their opponents as being the uncultured ones.

Fine proof that he who writes the history is sure to dominate future 
perception.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Tim's to do list ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
1. Get old, die.
2. I must not think bad thoughts.
3. Get mine before this fetid rotting contaminated carcass we 
   call Earth collapses about our collective head.
4. Read a good book.
5. Eliminate homicidal clones of self.
6. Obtain fiber optic camera, produce Madonna: An Inside Look
   for prime time TV, since that's all that's really left to see.
7. Make itemized account of all precious bodily fluids.
8. Play basketball.
9. Sell Michael Eisner plan to turn Buddha into animated 
   Saturday morning crimefighter.
10.Consult hyperintelligent aliens about personal life.
11.Suggest Clinton take open air motorcade trip through Memphis
   if he really wants people to associate him with Kennedy.
12.Convince Christo to begin working with giant razor tipped 
   tumbleweeds.
---------Tim Mefford      tim@physics.orst.edu-----------------
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: flame masters
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 20:19:23 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <lgmhi4INN19o@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>(Charles Parr) lolls:
>>So, Geoff, what *was* decided when you, Banta, and JZ got
>>together?

lolls?

Much tedious (but very manly) wrench head stuff deleted
for conservation of tedium reasons...

I was coyly enquiring as to how the ranks of peevful
flamers had been ordered. Perhaps you would care to enlighten us?

>- that the woman in the red dress had actually practiced the way 
>  she walked

This sounds like serious anto-peeve material. I ain't getting
any these days, so: GIF GIF GIF.

Peeve: Not getting any. Breaking up was not only hard to do
(actually it was easy. The hard part was dealing with the
aftermath), but it certainly did not result in a sudden
blooming of cheap meaningless and degrading one night
stands, either.

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: jdare@math.rutgers.edu (James Ananda Dare @ Undue Purversity)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Teddy has Brain Damage (was Re: Mikey has Dain Bramage)
Date: 19 Nov 92 03:38:10 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

In article <1992Nov17.194047.4386@midway.uchicago.edu> thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu
(Ted Frank) writes:

> That was the dullest flame I've ever seen.
Ditto.  (Ted's flame, that is.)

[ ... ]
>You want to claim that these were all typos, Mikey?

Peeve: Spelling flames
 
>Hint, Mikey: it's not trees you're smelling.

Yeah, but it's your bullshit we're reading.  I've read a number of
you're flames on Mikey and I can't see where yours are any more
interesting or entertaining that his.  As a matter of fact, your
flames are worse that Steve Franklin's (IMHO).  

'Nuff said.

> ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
> standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                                  alt.peeves perhaps?

--
            Jim  "Squick you and your little dog Toto, too!"  Dare 
                            jdare@math.rutgers.edu   
                    -------------------------------------
                    "Tastelessness is the spice of life."
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Landlord Peeves!! (was Re: JENNY'S LES
Date: 20 Nov 92 18:21:25 GMT
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com




Alex writes:

>rather than having to place the delicate thighs on the muck which is 
>usually found on a sodden toilet seat, you simply plant your feet 
>next to the hole and assume the crouching position. there's no need
>to touch anything except the toilet paper and the chain. 


But when your pants are down around your ankles, are they, ah, in
harm's way when you Assume the Position?



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: flame masters
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 92 19:00:22 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

So, Geoff, what *was* decided when you, Banta, and JZ got
together?

What *is* the pecking order among flamethrowers?

The world awaits.

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The Scarlet Letter
Date: 19 Nov 1992 20:02:10 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov19.181434.5423@netcom.com> rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon) writes:
>
>It could be worse, Jeremy.  Until 1971 it was mandatory in Delaware for
>the hospital of record to stamp "Complete and Utter Bastard" on the
>birth certificate of children born into this circumstance.

Don't take it so hard, Rick.

c
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mikey's Jacket
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 14:28:00 GMT
 <1992Nov12.095426.27997@email.tuwien.ac.at> <1du0iuINNl2h@agate.berkeley.edu>
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00 beta rel2

In article <1du0iuINNl2h@agate.berkeley.edu>, Curtis Yarvin writes:

> In article <1992Nov12.095426.27997@email.tuwien.ac.at> alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky) writes:
> >
> >ian curtis yarvin.
> 
> Peeve: People who think they can come up with interesting and original
> puns on other peoples' names.

> Am I making myself clear, here?

Curtis 'L Ron' Yarvin?

Dianetics anyone?

Curtis Yarvin == 'is vi cunt array' when Polewka'd

Kinda' appropriate, really.

Dac
--
dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
From: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Recent Peeve
Date: 17 Nov 92 10:47:00 GMT
Reply-To: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Organization: Do they make a washing powder called Caliban Automatic?

In article <92321.164841LXP111@psuvm.psu.edu> LXP111@psuvm.psu.edu writes:
>Since you didn't mean to offend, then I take back my previous posts (I thought
>they were pretty funny though), but I sure did piss off the homo's..go figure.

Sweetie, you don't know jack shit about apostrophes.

His idea of "pissing off the homo's" is me sending him email pointing
out that since Peevetown isn't inhabited by bigots, telling people to
"post in alt.homosexual" just doesn't cut it as a flame around here.

Thought you'd like to know.
  __                                ____
\/ o\ Paul Crowley pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk \  /
/\__/ "I'm the boy without a soul"   \/
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Halfwits.
Date: 16 Nov 92 16:32:24 GMT
	<ATAYLOR.92Nov13083841@gauss.nmsu.edu> <BxoJ4I.13A@cs.dal.ca>
Followup-To: alt.hoser.halfwit.wank.wank.wank
Organization: NMSU Computer Science

<In article <BxoJ4I.13A@cs.dal.ca> smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:
<In article <ATAYLOR.92Nov13083841@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
<>In article <BxK5wq.K0r@cs.dal.ca> smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:
<><  When Americans learn that the
<><  rest of the world only likes them for their money and (minimal)
<><culture,
<>
<>	
<>	Still don't get it, do you?
<>
<>	We-uns do not *CARE* if the rest of the world likes
<>	us or not. 

< You're going to *real* soon when the Japanese pass you as the world's
< foremost economic power.

	Why?

	And when? This prediction has been made at least once
	a month for the last 8 years or so....the "date" is
	always "real soon now".

<   Peeve:  When someone proves me correct about my perceptions of Americans.
<   !Peeve:  When someone proves me wrong about Americans.

	Peeve: Halfwit hosers who clog up alt.peeves with their
	nonpeeves.

<   >	Just respect and mebbe fear us a bit, because
<   >	even after signing the latest treaty with the
<   >	FormerCommies, we'se still got shiploads and shiploads
<   >	of nucular weapons....

<	   And people complained about *Canadian* grammar and spelling...

	It's called "dialect", sonny boy. Try reading some of
	Sam Clemens and mebbe y'all will get a clue.

	But I doubt it.

< Well, so do the Russians.  Except they're selling theirs to the highest
< bidder to bring cash into the country.

	Then they ain't got them no more, right back-bacon-breath?

	ObPeeve: the economically illiterate. 

	Anyone care to explain to this flannel-encrusted clod 	
	what the word "sell" implies about ownership?

	I din't think so.

<Peeve:  Feeling terrified about the prospect of, say, Iran or Libya or <insert
<favorite terrorist group here> getting a nuclear weapon.  

	Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck! 

	Don't worry yer pointy little head; NO ONE is going to nuke
	Canada (except, mebbe, the Quebecois...).

	And if they did, it wouldn't make the headlines outside
	of Toronto, anyway.

<   >ObPeeve: hoser halfwits displaying the usual Canuck inferiority
<   >	 complex with the usual pseudo-cultured Canuck accent.<

<	   Hmf?  This one missed me completely.  As a matter of fact, someone
<   once commented to me that I sounded like an American.

	Prolly insulting you; are youse too dim to twig when being
	insulted face-to-face as well?

	Hardly surprising.


<	   But I digress.


	No, you induce profound boredom.
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The University of California at Berkeley
Date: 18 Nov 92 14:53:27 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <28303@castle.ed.ac.uk> fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
~jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson) writes:
~
~>In article <1992Nov16.182103.15403@twg.com>, nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw) writes:
~
~>> !Peeve: The Naked Guy at UCB. Neighbors think he's crazy, but he seems only to
~>> have taken the constitution's protections to heart and to have started living
~>> by his principles.
~>         ^^^^^^^^^^
~>I don't think you spell it like that, Nolan.
~
~principle : (noun) standard or rule of personal conduct.
~
~principal : first in importance, rank, value etc

>>>>>>>WHIZZZZZZZZZZBOIIINGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

(representation of Mike missing the point)

I just thought Nolan might have been trying to spell the name of the
male organ. Get it now?

Daughter Peeve: Mike mentioned that I have about 15 years to figure out
what to do if my daughter brings to dinner her boyfriend - a spotty
bespectacled youth with a Megadeth T-shirt and a hip calculator.

Frightening.

But it could be worse - what if he's a Hawkwind fan?




-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

"I have to scan these posts in case Jeremy includes some line
out of context in his .sig" - FriendOfFernandoKhomeini.
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:17454 alt.folklore.urban:29256
From: carolo@cse.ucsc.edu (Carol Osterbrock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.folklore.urban
Subject: No trespassing
Date: 21 Nov 92 09:27:20 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz (CE/CIS Boards)
NNTP-Posting-Host: arapaho.ucsc.edu

In article <lgqplaINNf9e@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM writes:

>Something that's always mystified me are those signs that say, "Posted - No
>Trespassing."  I don't know about the rest of you, but "No Trespassing" pretty
>much says it all for me.  Unless it has some addition meaning that I'm not
>aware of, all the word "posting" adds is a notification that somebody put
>(i.e., "posted" the sign there).  So the end result is a sign that means,
>"Somebody Put This Sign Here - Keep Out."  Which is silly, because I can
>*see* that somebody put the sign there!

Now, that is something that I heard a story about, which may be
mythology, so I changed the newsgroups a little, that you are right.
The signs when I was a kid just said "No Trespassing", but somewhere
somebody went wandering on somebody else's land and shot a deer or
cut down a tree or something, and the property owner sued the
trespasser, and the defense was that only sign was one at the gate to
the property and the guy that wandered in there didn't see it, and
even if he had it wasn't clear that it was put up by the people that
owned it, so the court ruling was that you had to say that you had
posted the sign, and they had to be all over the fences and
everything, and they have to say who posted them.

Now I myself have to say that as near as I can tell every square inch
of this great country of ours belongs to somebody, and unless you know
them it is probably a bad idea to go out shooting deer on their land,
but apparently if somebody only puts up a sign that says "No
Trespassing", they can't have your 10-pt buck, and if they put up a
sign that says "Posted no trespassing by C. Osterbrock" they can.
And the law says they have to be every quarter mile or something along
the property line, too.

Peeve:  lawyers.  Have you ever noticed that everybody that passes
*laws* is a *lawyer*?  Talk about your conflict of interests.  They
have spent years in law school learning how to get past worrying about
right and wrong and getting down to the important stuff, like keeping
their jobs, and helping out all their friends...

Oh wait this is a crosspost, I'll lay off the peeves.  So what *is*
the reason for the Posted No Trespassing signs?

later
-carol



-- 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
   Carol Osterbrock     | "Thou art a villain."
                        |       "You are--a senator."
  carolo@cse.ucsc.edu   |  -W. Shakespeare   (Some things never change)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donp@twg.com (Don Pette)
Subject: Re: Recent Peeve
Organization: The Wollongong Group, Palo Alto, CA
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 01:46:11 GMT

 (Schlong Phamdo sucking PSU style) writes:

>
>What is a "wankhole" maybe you should go play in  alt.homosexual for awhile, I
>bet they'll like your put something in your "wankhole".
>
>
>                 ==----da Long-Man----------------->

Jeez, not _another_ one. Schlong-man:  You have one thing and one thing ONLY
going for you, and that is that you don't attend Doll House U. Don't make
it look like you do.



And for something we are starting to see too little of...        

A Peeve Poem
------------
        By Don Pette


I took out the socks, I did, I did,
and black as coal they were.
To finish my dressing in the morn',
as black as coal I was sure.

Out of the bedroom and out of the door,
to work I was in flight.
I'd make that meeting, and be on time,
and everything would be all right.

Into the lobby, this way and that,
to the meeting here I must come.
Grey slacks and black shoes with socks that did match,
"from money", they would think I come from.

They all started laughing and jumping with glee,
and I thought it was all done on queue.
but then I sat down and looked at my feet,
my fucking socks were blue!

My butt cheeks were sweating, my face was aglow,
my options were sure getting fewer.
I went back to peevetown to relieve my frustration,
and read some more mikey manure.

So crusty old farts and pretty young tarts,
come gather for drink and prayer too.
Please pray for some nips under my fingertips,
'cause my socks aren't the only thing blue.
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: I see London, I see France (Re: the Devil's Day
Date: 16 Nov 92 16:45:33 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <mhart.721754708@blackjack> mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil
(Michael Hart) writes:

>Now Geoff, when pondering the proper wear of head gear, one must'n't
>forget the ever popular baseball cap.  You see, we, as ingnorant 
>white male oppressors, have been stupid enough to believe that the
>bill of the cap should be worn in the front, over the eyes!  

Given the popularity of wearing baseball caps any old which-way but
properly, I think an entire generation is destined to come of age not
realizing that the bill is supposed to be worn at the front.  


>But, there were benefits to the Flashdance style sweatshirt, the 
>greatest of which was how much easier it was to look down them and
>see tits - much easier without that restrictive collar.

Unfortunately, most of the females I saw wearing these sweatshirts
weren't significantly endowed as of yet, mammarily speaking.


>But on the same sweatshirt thing; why is it the rage to wear the 
>goddamn things inside out?  What a fashion statement to make:
>"Duh.  I'm so stupid I can't tell which side goes out."

This is the logical extension of the shirts that were popular several
years ago, that had reversed stitching so that they looked inside-out.
(Why this would be desirable is still a source of great mystery to me.)
I saw a jacket yesterday that had the tag on the outside, under the
collar.  Yes, it looked every bit as stupid as it sounds.


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Dr. Strangelove)
Subject: Re: Halfwits.
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Nuke dem furriners
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 19:20:45 GMT


In article <lgfid6INN5sg@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>, geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM 
(Geoff Miller) rants
:
[bah! get that other crap outa here]

        I say that in the event of nuclear terrorism, we nuke
        Mecca -- preferably  during the Hajj.  Now *that* would
        send a relatively unambiguous message to the Islamic
        world, eh what?  A bit extreme, to be sure, but what the
        hell -- we might as well go all the way.  

Reminds me of that old cowboy song:

	Armageddon fer the last roundup...

--
Nolan "Why, they ain't even Murrikan!" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197