From: brooks@ecn.purdue.edu (Kevin D Brooks)
Newsgroups: alt.drugs
Subject: talking to kids
Date: 7 Oct 92 21:42:21 GMT
Followup-To: alt.drugs
Distribution: na
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network

> glen@galileo.physics.arizona.edu (Glen Sonnenberg) writes:

>A friend of a friend of a distant cousin would like to know how people 
>on the net deal with talking to there kids about drugs?

Uh huh, I believe you.  This is a good question.  It is an area where
I made some pitiful mistakes but am slowly correcting them with a new
approach.  

> but is there anyone out there
>that smokes MJ and has to deal with kids?  Do you tell them what it is?
>If so, when?  With stories of kids turning in their parents this seems
>like it could be a problem.  How old were they when you talked to them?
>How did you counter all of the hysteria out there?  How did you impress
>upon them the importance of not talking about it to their friends?  

My kids are presently 11 and 15 years old...well past the start of being
curious about everything that goes on in mom and dad's life.  A few years
back my theory was that "well, maybe this just say no thing isn't such a
bad idea".  I mean, seriously, kids are better off if they do "just say no".
It also wasn't much of a concern because I rarely smoke anymore anyway, and
I never did smoke in front of the kids or even in the house.  But one time
some friends and I got "busted" by my oldest while out in the garage.  The
look of fear and loathing on my daughters face told me that something was
seriously wrong with this picture.  

Strangely enough, it was about this time that I started reading alt.drugs
and becoming aware of what the WOsD was actually doing.  It seems that
my friends and relatives were now criminals.  My first goal was to change
this impression.  I informed my kids that smoking pot did not make me a
criminal just because the government said so.  Nor were the many people
I hang around with.  I explained that it was not a dangerous activity.
Here, I admit, I failed in many respects.  I failed to come up with a 
good reason for even smoking in the first place, and I didn't give any
warnings about "ratting" on me.  

The "good" news is that the news media gives me plenty of weekly opportunities
to correct the brain washing that they are receiving.  And the alt.drugs
tidbits of statistics are also usefull.  I have pointed out how there are
no known deaths due to mj consumption while alcohol and falling in the bathtub
kill thousands and hundreds each year.  I explain how our government
subsidizes the exportation and promotion of the nicotine death.  The
destruction of individual rights shown on the news daily will often set me
off on a rampage designed to show my kids that our government does indeed
lie, and steal, and cheat, etc. etc.  We are movie freaks in our household, so
I point out the similarities between "The Untouchables" and "Scarface".  I
make sure the kids are paying attention while Jo Beth and what's his face
are lighting up in Poltergeist.  

I'm not really concerned about being turned in...  there's nothing worth
finding in my house anyway.  The kids know I'm not a criminal or an animal.

>How did you talk to them from a anti-WOD stance without encouraging them
>to abuse drugs? 

I guess I'll cross this bridge later.  My kids have so many other interests
that they presently show no known curiousity for "drug experimentation".  This
will no doubt change if my kids are as normal as I think they are.  Now that 
I think about it, this bridge is in sight, and I need to do some serious
educating about dumb things like glue sniffing and vodka guzzling.  

I had a friend in high school whose parents allowed him to smoke pot at home
so they would know he wasn't out driving with a bunch of drunk buddies.  This
makes sense to me, but is a tough call as a parent, especially during a war.
A parent can't really stop kids from doing what they are going to do behind
their backs anyway.  I'm taking a chance that I can avoid some tough calls
by my kids not making me have to deal with them, but if I do have to, I will
take the protective approach by steering my kids towards non dangerous
recreational activities.  I like the common idea of a pact saying that "I
won't yell at you for calling me for a ride instead of driving home drunk".
I hope I have the guts to say "get all A's and B's, stay out of trouble, and
I won't have a fit if I see blood shot eyes occasionally.  We'll see.

Kevin Brooks






 
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