From: lwl@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Lydia Leong)
Newsgroups: alt.irc.recovery,alt.usenet.recovery,rec.games.mud.misc
Subject: Re: Net "Addiction": a Theory
Date: 22 Jul 92 20:23:16 GMT
Followup-To: alt.irc.recovery
Organization: Robotech Defense Force

In article <1992Jul22.181339.9048@math.okstate.edu> kruger@math.okstate.edu (Valentine) writes:
>In article [snip] smithrud@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Carolyn Louise Smithrud) writes:

>>I agree that network relationships/friendships are one of the best things
>>about electronic communication, as long as expectations on both sides are
>>similar and the relationships carry themselves out in an unharmful manner.
>>I have seen good and bad come out of network relationships.  It depends 
>>a lot on the individuals involved.

The individuals involved also need to relate to VR in similar ways.
It is difficult to form a "good" friendship with someone who doesn't
take this form of communicaton at all seriously.

Nonetheless, RL relationships (I'll use this term generically) can
also be harmful, although I suppose one tends to take this kind of
thing in stride, whereas in VR one simply looks at the screen and
wonders, "Why should I have to take this?"

>>Does network communcation have the POTENTIAL to become unhealthy?

Definitely. I regard the MUDs much as I regarded Lego sets when I
was younger -- a way to build nifty things. The MUDs are better, of
course, since you can talk with people of similar interest and show
off your nifty things.  :)

Unfortunately, as an adult, one has responsibilities, and too much
time spent talking and playing with nifty toys tends to cause one
to ignore these responsibilities.

It is, for some people, especially extremely introverted people,
very easy to talk on the MUDs; it can become easy to neglect RL
relationships, which generally require more "personal" energy,
in favor of VR ones. I have, however, seen quite a few cases where
very introverted people were able to overcome RL shyness by learning
that other people don't bite, via VR. :)

>>that I believe is not unhealthy to me, could it be having an unhealthy
>>effect on other people I interact with?

Like in RL, there are a large number of abusive and/or obnoxious
people out there. There are also quite a few perfectly nice people
who have a destructive effect on a few certain other people. The
potential for an unhealthy relationship is still there. The advantage
to VR is that relationships tend not to be as deep, so if you get hurt,
it probably won't be quite as badly.

>	Net communciation as a whole isn't unhealthy. It has the
>potential to be, as does every other sort of communication. Net
>comm. is healthy when people are honest with each other--just as
>in RL. 

Net communication depends much more strongly on honesty than does
normal RL face-to-face communication. It's possible to really screw
over someone mentally if you're sadistic enough. You have to believe
what others tell you about themselves, and pray that it's true.
In RL, a certain number of elements are "given": what gender are you?
how tall are you? where do you live? how old are you?
Whether or not these facts really should_ matter is a philosophical
question, but regardless, they do in some way contribute to our
mental image of a person. I know I normally associate each of my
VR friends with a mental picture, although it may not have anything
whatsoever to do with what they look like in RL  (and in fact may
be of a different gender/species).

>People lie, pretend to be others, cheat, etc. just as much in RL as they
>do VR.

It's just easier to do in VR.

>	I, myself, have had only good experiences VR, as I met
>someone who is now one of my best friends, even if people
>occasionally think I'm her. :)  

Hiya. :)  It'd probably help if one of her characters didn't have
my RL name, and if one of my characters didn't have her VR name...

>It's been a really good experience for me, and I'm not about to give
>up mushing.

I can't say that every moment of VR has been wonderful, but then
again, certainly not every moment of my RL has been wonderful, either.
It all balances out; VR as a whole tends to be a positive experience for 
most people, possibly because one plays to be entertained, and it's
(generally) difficult to have strongly negative experiences while
attempting to enjoy oneself.

   -- Amberyl

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Lydia Leong, '94   | "For I am what I say, and what you do is who you are,
lwl@seas.upenn.edu |  And the words are all we cling to in the end.
lwl@csa.bu.edu     |  For I don't have to see you to touch your heart...
lwl@imsa.edu       |  And maybe this is fantasy, and maybe I am dreaming,
lwl@elof.iit.edu   |  But maybe this is real life after all." - Perpetua@Pern
lleong@atl.ge.com  |  GE Aerospace, Advanced Technology Labs, Moorestown NJ
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Newsgroups: alt.irc.recovery