From: bn981@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Ryan Mathews)
Subject: A test for "Kei"!
Reply-To: bn981@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Ryan Mathews)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 92 08:27:08 GMT


Okay, we've seen a lot of posts from people calling themselves "Kei".
Two people to be exact.  One is calling the other a fraud, but that
one claims to have a last name of Morgan, which doesn't sound like
any Kei I know.

So I have designed the following test, to determine whether any of Kei's
postings to the net are authentic, or just clever AIs developed by
universities whose initials sound like "whippy".

I challenge all potential Kei's to take this test and post the results.
Then we shall see if we are blessed with the presence of the One True Kei.

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SECTION I -- MULTIPLE CHOICE (Choose one and only one)

1)  My favorite accessory is _____
    a) a lime-green scarf
    b) a red bandanna
    c) a compact missile launcher

2)  _____ are a girl's best friend.
    a) Diamonds
    b) Puppies
    c) .44 caliber teflon-coated exploding shells

3)  My idea of the perfect date is :
    a) An elegant dinner with ballroom dancing
    b) A romantic movie, followed by a moonlight walk
    c) A roller derby match, the consumption of copious amounts of pizza 
       and beer, followed by slam-dancing.
    
4)  The perfect man would have _____
    a) a charming wit
    b) a large bank account
    c) an incredibly huge #### (censored by Usenet smut squad)
    
5)  While dropping in unannounced on your boyfriend, you discover him engaged
       in a passionate affair with another woman.  Do you:
    a) run away and call him later
    b) scream at him at the top of your lungs
    c) calmly walk to where his car is parked, remove the grenade you 
       keep in your purse, arm it, toss it in
    
6)  When I was a little girl, my favorite present was _____.
    a) the Barbie doll I got for my sixth birthday
    b) the Teddy Bear I got for my fourth birthday
    c) the chemistry set I got for Christmas, with which I made my first bar
       of plastique
    
7)  The best gun to carry on a mission is _____.
    a) a Smith and Wesson series 75 pulse handgun, because it is accurate and
       easily concealable
    b) a Colt 65C-X, because it can fire 100 times without changing power
       packs
    c) an AK-4700 pulse cannon with high-explosive, armor-piercing grenade
       launcher, because it doesn't matter if you miss
    
8)  My favorite feature on the Lovely Angel is _____.
    a) the engines, which allow us to outrun almost any other craft
    b) the exciting massage showers
    c) the 50-megaton, slightly illegal nuclear warhead which we have hidden
       on board and which I can't wait for an excuse to use
    
9)  My favorite part of my body is _____.
    a) my legs
    b) my breasts
    c) my trigger finger
    
10) After retiring from the 3WA, I plan to:
    a) marry a wonderful man and make lots of babies
    b) write a book about the Dirty Pair and get rich
    c) found my own mercenary corps

SECTION II -- ESSAY

1) Scenario:  You have been assigned to liberate a fuel-processing plant
that is being held by terrorists.  The only tools available to you are a
fake ID, a length of cable, and an incendiary grenade launcher.  Remember,
this plant produces highly volatile fuel!

2) Scenario:  At an adjoining table at a restaurant, you see male swimsuit
model Rex Ratcliffe.  You want him.  Real bad.  Seduce him.

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OKAY!  All you supposed Kei's out there, I dare you to take this test!

                        ---------- Ryan Mathews
-- 
Email: bn981@cleveland.freenet.edu      DISCLAIMER:  Any resemblence of this
Snailmail: 786 High Street              article to rational thought is
           Bedford, OH 44146            purely coincidental.