From: cbnorman@cayley.uwaterloo.ca (Bruce Norman)
Subject: STORY: The Wizard of Smaug (chapter 11)
Followup-To: rec.games.frp.dnd
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 08:30:54 GMT

                         Copyright Bruce Norman, 1992

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                              The Wizard of Smaug

                                  Chapter 11 

                             --------------------

    An unwarented chill crept up Perrywinkle's back.  He was beginning to 
feel very uncomfortable.  He cursed himself for his foolishness. *Teflour*
*is dead* he told himself. *He can not hurt me.  I am perfectly safe.*  
Despite is assurances though, Perrwinkle could not deny the creeping 
horror which threatened to overwhelm him as he reached out and grasped 
the doorknob of Teflour's ramshackle home.  What if it was locked, what 
would he do? Was he wrong in coming here? No, by Smaug law, all of 
Teflour's posessions were now his.  Thus, this was his own house he was 
breaking into. 
    The door creaked open.  The smell of death assaulted his nostrils; a 
dusty, choking, moldy smell.  Much better than goose dung. 
    "Hello?" called out Perrywinkle, reaching into his pocket to grasp 
the slimy scaly salmon which he had placed in there.  He pulled it out, 
slowly. 
    "Mew?" called out Perrywinkle, waving the fish infront of him.  "Here 
kitty kitty kitty, Perrwinkle has brought you a nice fishy-wishy.  Come 
on out and get it." 
    Mew peered at Perrwinkle with her cold green eyes.  She was resting 
on top of one of Teflour's bookshelves.  Mew was very hungry, and that 
salmon looked very tasty, but she did not move.  She was not a foolish 
cat.  She had watched in horror when the darked clothed man had burst 
into her home and drowned that idiot Teflour in his own cauldron.  
Perhaps now he had come back to finish the job and get her too? 
    "Come on Mew, I need you! They're going to burn me if I don't have a 
familiar by tomorrow, and you're experienced in the job.  Come on, I 
brought you a bloody salmon you stupid cat! Come out, gods, where are you 
hiding?" 
    Now Mew recognized this clumsy little human.  It was Pringle, or 
Pribble, or something of the sort (Mew had never been good with names).  
That foolish little boy who smelled like dung, and had allowed Teflour to 
set him on fire.  What on earth did he want? Mew's eyes opened wide in 
surprise, and then closed into slits of hate. 
    The little human was wearing Teflour's medallion. 
    He must have killed Teflour.  Oh Teflour was a fool, there was no 
doubt of that, but Mew had grown quite attached to him in sixty years she 
had spent as his familiar.  Now his murderer was walking right into her 
clutches.  She hissed, and lept at him. 
    Perrywinkle screamed as the small ball of black fur anchored onto his 
face.  The yowling, screaming, demon clawed at his eyes.  It's sharp 
teeth sank deep into his nose.  He screamed as blood began to flow.  
Desperately he bashed his face into a wall. 
    Mew's head cracked against the wall as Perrywinkle performed his 
maniacal head-butt.  Her claws slipped lose from his face.  She slumped 
to the floor in a small heap, shook her head, and stood up again.  
Perrywinkle wandered about in a daze.  She attacked his leg. 
    Perrywinkle screamed again as the small black-furred demon bit 
through his sandel, directly into his big toe.  Calling apon strength he 
did not know he posessed, Perrywinkle beat the creature with the salmon.  
With a soggy spluttering sound, the salmon connected, sending Mew rolling 
accross the floor.  Perrywinkle finally recognized her, and called out. 
    "Stop it Mew, what are you doing? I'm your friend!" 
    Mew advanced on Perrywinkle.  Her eyes thinly closed slits.  She 
hissed. 
    "Please calm down Mew.  Listen to me.  I brought you a salmon."  Mew 
halted and stared directly into Perrywinkle's eyes.  Her small chest 
heaved in and out as she panted in rage. 
    *Thank god*, thought Perrywinkle,*she's going to stop and listen to me*.  
In actuallity, Mew was just too tired to launch another attack yet.  
Having lived for sixty years, and given birth to some 300 kittens, she 
was not in prime shape. 
    "Now Mew," spoke Perrywinkle slowly and carefully, "I'm not sure why 
you're attacking me, but I assure you I mean no harm.  I've come to ask 
you to be my familiar, I desperately need one. *Good God*, thought 
Perrywinkle to himself,*I'm talking to a cat*. 
    *Good God*, thought a voice in Perrywinkle's head,*I'm talking to an*
*idiot*. 
    "What?" said Perrywinkle, grabbing for his head, and managing to slap 
himself in the face with the salmon.  "Who's there?" 
    *Me, you idiot* spoke the voice in his head. *The cat, now tell me, why*
*did you have Teflour killed?*
    "Mew?" asked Perrywinkle in surprise.  "Good lord, it is you, you can 
mindspeak? How incredible!" 
    *Answer fool!* thought Mew, snarling at Perrywinkle. 
    "I had nothing to do with his death!" insisted Perrywinkle.  "Didn't 
he drowned in his cauldron? I assumed he was reading one of his elf 
books, and  just slipped in." 
    *Wrong* though Mew. *He was brutally murdered by a man dressed in*
*black.  Trust me, it is not that easy to drown in a cauldron.  I should*
*know, Teflour has tried to drown me in that cauldron several times.*
    "Really?" asked Perrywinkle in amazement.  "How horrible, drowned in 
his own cauldron by a man dressed in black.  Good lord, what if they 
drown me? Oh why couldn't I have just been a happy dung farmer? I had 
everything I could ever want.  I could have married little Bessie Hopper, 
she's quite pretty if you ignore the warts, and settled down to have 12 
children.  But no, no, I had to decide to become a wizard.  Why me?" 
    *Shut up and stop whining* though Mew.  She mentally sighed. *You're as*
*bad as that infantile Bluetspur.  Whine whine whine, all day, every day,*
*made me sick.  Now listen, Perrywinkle, we must find who slew Teflour and*
*make them pay!*
    "Well, alright" said Perrywinkle, "but I must have your assistance 
first.  I am in need of a familiar, Mew.  If I do not find one I am to be 
burned at the stake.  I'll make you a deal: you become my familiar and I 
will help you find out who slew Teflour. 
    *Not a chance* thought Mew. *I had to put up with that fool Teflour for*
*sixty years, and now you would have me sentense myself to another term of*
*slavery?*
    "Sixty years?" asked Perrywinkle, "isn't that rather long for a cat 
to live?" 
    *It's one of the side-benefits of the job* thought Mew. *The life cycle*
*of a familiar is greatly lengthened so long as our wizard lives.  I have*
*lived long, and I am quite happy to age at the regular rate now until I*
*die.  Yet, I will help you find another familiar, for I have always been*
*a soft hearted fool when it comes to stupid young wizards.*
    "I thank you Mew" spoke Perrywinkle.  He presented the salmon to her.  
"Please, take this as a token of my gratitude." 
    *No thank you*, refused Mew. *I have a policy of never eating anything*
*I have been beaten with.*
    "Very well, than let us be off."  Perrywinkle left the house, 
followed by a somewhat tired and bruised Mew. 
    *A foolish young wizard* thought Mew. *And he still smells of dung*. 


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