From: lowen@lorc.UUCP (Lamar Owen)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade,alt.best.of.internet
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 92 08:37:56 -0500
Organization: LORC Enterprises

In <1992Nov13.042528.18358@Princeton.EDU> jacobw@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jacob Solomon Weinstein) writes:
>In article <1992Nov12.162326.16772@tolten.puc.cl> mbfarah@isluga.puc.cl (MIGUEL BRAXTON FARAH) writes:
>>THOMAS LUNDQUIST (thomasez@dhhalden.no) wrote:
>>: In article <gunnarh.241.721248782@dhhalden.no> gunnarh@dhhalden.no (GUNNAR HORRIGMO) writes:
>>: >From: gunnarh@dhhalden.no (GUNNAR HORRIGMO)
>>: >Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
>>: >Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 18:53:02 GMT
>>: >From: slb22@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Seth L. Blumberg)
>>: >Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
>>: >Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 02:48:42 GMT
>>: >
>>: >rbw%apple.com@fico.UUCP (Randy Wong) writes:
>>: >>dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>>: >>>sdoran@sam.ksu.ksu.edu (Steven Marcotte) writes:
>>: >>>>bgohari@wam.umd.edu (Babak Gohari) writes:
>>: >>>>>tilden@sportster.ksu.ksu.edu (Tilden-Master of Illogic) writes:
>>: >>>>>>dlutz@willamette.edu (David Lutz) writes:
>>: >>>>>>>dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard) writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>>galt%peruvian.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>>>Michael Schmahl [Black-Robe Mage] writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>lairdpg@lub001.lamar.edu writes
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>22161-bunz writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>Brett G Person writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>smith@ctron.com writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IronEagle writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Matt Welsh writes:
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HA! _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex Sinclair!
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Top THAT!
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm running NextStep on Atari 2600 Video Game System. 
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>Just last night I was able to get Windows to boot on my Sears PONG
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>game.
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer on my
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>Game-Boy.
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>I just installed a 10 Gigabyte Drive to handle all the replies!
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>However, it only runs at 230,000 Baud due to the large drive
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>slowing it down.
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>I fear I will not be getting news any longer...  The batteries on my
>>: >>>>>>>>>>>calculator-watch are running out.
>>: >>>>>>>>>>My calculator-watch is solar...  And if I turned off the lights, NO
>>: >>>>>>>>>>ONE would be getting news...
>>: >>>>>>>>>Feh. I'm so slick NASA just awarded ME the TERADATA contract to run on
>>: >>>>>>>>>my TV remote! They liked my proposal mainly because I'm ALSO able to
>>: >>>>>>>>>shoehorn in the TEXAS SUPERCOLLIDER computations between commercials!
>>: >>>>>>>>>Beat THAT!
>>: >>>>>>>>Well, well, well. SSC calculations, huh. I built a system out of 2
>>: >>>>>>>>inches of wire, 3 pennies and a AA battery that does realtime
>>: >>>>>>>>calculations of particle vectors during the Big Bang. A complete
>>: >>>>>>>>simulation of the first 2 years of the life of the universe, accurate
>>: >>>>>>>>to the theoretical limit, takes about 5 seconds.
>>: >>>>>>>And you guys think you are so great.  I just spent the last half hour
>>: >>>>>>>getting X11 to run on my slide rule.  I am still having problems
>>: >>>>>>>connecting it to the net around here, but I would welcome any
>>: >>>>>>>suggestions.
>>: >>>>>>So what!!! I'm running Xinitrc, TWMRC, Internet, and 27 muds off of a
>>: >>>>>>paperclip.  Not to mention the fact that I am designing a new form of
>>: >>>>>>television with 7000 pixels based off a piece of tissue paper.  Next!!!
>>: >>>>>Man, that's baby stuff.  I'm running a particle accelerator utilizing
>>: >>>>>matter-antimatter reactions in my doorknob, and calculating everything in
>>: >>>>>the fourth dimension using a single dip switch and a large glass of water.
>>: >>>>Child's play, I have an old piece of cheese that is, at this very moment, 
>>: >>>>raytracing an actual model of the universe five hours from now, while
>>: >>>>at the same time calculating the heat produced from the new intel
>>: >>>>Pentium.
>>: >>>And you people think that you are hackers! I'm currently engaged in a
>>: >project
>>: >>>which involves simultaneous simulation of multiple universes (To see what
>>: >>>would happen if various constants change. Pi=8.4 is an interesting one.) My
>>: >>>hardware consists of a single wooden pencil (no paper). With it, I can do
>>: >>>real-time simulations of 2^32 universes in parallel.
>>: >>You guys are wimps!!  I've just finished converting a microwave oven into a
>>: >>paradimensional teleportation device.  The only problem I'm having so far is
>>: >>that my breakfast bagel keeps disappearing!!  May have to eat it raw . . .
>>: >
>>: >Sorry, that's my fault.  I'm afraid that the high-energy laser-pumped
>>: >negentropic vortex generator I made from my own nostril hair, which is
>>: >currently cranking out entire new universes at the rate of 7.6 per picosecond,
>>: >was breaking the FCC emissions limits and gronking your microwave's control
>>: >panel.  It should work properly now.  Also, my cat Arthur was FTPing hundreds
>>: >of terabytes of PD software from Epsilon Eridani in the year 4741 A.D. over
>>: >the faster-than-light Ethernet interface I built for him, and this may have
>>: >been loading the Net a little yesterday.  My sincere apologies to everyone who
>>: >noticed any performance degradation.
>>: 
>>: Damn, I thought I was doin' smoe really advanced R&D. But I only have a 
>>: humble feather pen with build in spell checking. It checks all languages 
>>: since Adam & Eve plus a few forthcoming languages. But after what I've seen 
>>: here, thats not good enough for a Nobel Price..I have to work harder...
>>: Maybe some of the languages from outer space will help ?? I just have to 
>>: use my FingerNail Time&Universe Transporter(tm) to get there and learn them.
>>
>>You're all a bunch of lazy pseudo-programmers. When you have, as I, set
>>up an entire University Unix net (with Mail, IRC, more than 2 MUDs, ano-
>>nymous ftp, etc etc etc etc etc ) on a Turing Machine, we'll talk.

>Hahaha! Fools! You think that's impressive? I've wired together every
>computer on the Internet with Quantum-Thin Wire (tm), and programmed it
>to act like a really big abacus. Running 8 x 10^100^10^10^10^4
>calculations a millisecond, I hope to solve the equation 5x = 10
>by sometime next week. Now _that's_ progress.

My hack beats all.  Simple: I got news running under MS-Windows.  Beat that.
:-)...

-- 
--

Lamar Owen, Systems Consultant, GE Lighting Systems, Hendersonville, NC
***********************************************************************
 Opinions expressed herein are the author's and do not reflect policy
   or opinions of the General Electric Company or its subsidiaries.
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Newsgroups: rec.humor