From: mikep@hpmwtd.sr.hp.com (Mike Powell)
Newsgroups: soc.women
Subject: Re: Re: Adults, Children and sex
Date: 19 Aug 92 05:35:08 GMT
Organization: HP Santa Rosa Site (NMD MTA MWTD)

Dan writes:

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      ***********************************************************
      Children will do what they need to do to please adults
      because they have been dependent on adults for their
      very survival all their life.
      ***********************************************************

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	Hi Dan....

	I don't mean to nit-pick here, but your above statement is not at
	all correct (nostly by omission or over-generalization).
	Consider:

		* Children will sometimes do things to please adults.
		* Children will sometimes fo things to please themselves.
		* The above two statements apply to adults as well.

		* Children depend on themselves for survival.
		* Children depend on adults for survival.
		* Children depend on other children for survival.
		* Usually children are not concerned with survival.
		
	A more correct version of your above statement might be:

	"Children will sometimes do things to please adults because
	 they naturally seek approval and direction. They often seek this
	 approval from adults, especially from their parents."


---------------------------  Dan continues:


	  This means there is NEVER a "power balance" and it is only
	  upon some level of individuation and acceptance of responsibility
	  that people are generally agreed to be competent to make decisions
	  for themselves.


--------------------------

	Dan,

	young humans spend their entire childhood, and all through adulthood
	(read, "their whole life") learning to make decisions for themselves.
	There are many older adults that can make decisions about their
	diet, but are quite incompetent in decisions about sex partners
	or mates (witness that most marriages fail....).  

	I know children who fly planes, start businesses, raise other 
	children, speak several languages, are stinking rich (from their
	own labors) etc. etc....

	The bottom line here is that children are PEOPLE.  Some people 
	make better decisions than others.  People usually make good
	decisions about things that they know something about... something
	that they have experience with.  Something they have learned about
	from an experienced and competent teacher.  Children are the
	same as adults in this regard.

	And as for "power balance", chidren almost always get the short
	end of the stick in this area... be it nap time, what they are
	allowed to watch on tv, when to eat, what to eat, punishment,
	etc. etc. etc.  Power imbalance is not generally considered a
	problem between adults and children.  And come to think of it,
	an adult teacher is usually less effective in unless there
	is some imbalance in the teachers favor.  This is natural and
	is not a problem.

--------------------------- Dan continues:

	  Further, if a child has seen semi trucks driving on the highway all
	  their life and expresses an interest in driving one at the
	  age of 8, this does not mean that it is a good thing to let
	  the child do it.

--------------------------

	And it does not mean it is a bad thing either.  It might be
	very bad, and it might be very good.  There is no way to really
	tell except on a case by case basis.  I drove a semi (a logging
	truck) when I was eight (amazing example you came up with :-).
	It was a GREAT experience for me.  It was under the watchful
	supervision of an adult.  A competent teacher.


	And lastly:  I am fairly cautious about the idea of adults 
	having sex with children.  I wonder about the motivations that
	***some*** adults might have (given our current attitudes
	toward sex) for deciding to have sex with a child.

	But in and of itself, an adult 'teacher' exposing a child to
	sex when s/he is ready, is far more preferable than having children
	teach eachother.... 
	
	The important thing is that the environment be safe, teach
	proper practices, and that the child is not pushed beyond
	their ability.

	The above statement applies when teaching anything to a child.
	Driving a motorcycle (I started at 5 yrs.)
	Learing to fire guns (I started at 7 yrs.)
	Building a fire (I started at 5 yrs.)
	Learnig to fly a plane (I started at 16 yrs.)

	etc....  learning about sex should be no different....

	At 13 I would have LOVED to hop in the sack with a woman
	twice my age.... I thought about it quite a bit :-), but it
	was not to be.... (darn.)  I have no doubt that it would have
	been a more importand and more memorable experience than when I
	drove the semi :-).

	-Mike-