HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 23:47:12 EST
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Purity
 <1993Jan7.180947.21747@tcsi.com> <93007.150703SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
 <1993Jan8.031020.181@tcsi.com>

In article <1993Jan8.031020.181@tcsi.com>, miket@hermes.tcs.com (Michael Turner
nmscore Assoc.) says:
>In article <93007.150703SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> Graydon
><SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> writes:
>>   Mike, why does disagreeing with you about a very small subset of social
>>   tactics and a (probably larger) subset of rules about appropriate
>>   language use make me obtuse?
>
>The precise sense of "obtuse" that I meant it is:
>
>        Obtuse ... 1 b: difficult to comprehend: not clear or precise
>        in thought or expression (~ language) ... [Webster's Ninth
>        New College Dictionary]
>
>When someone asks "what are you", or, perhaps, "what is your sexual
>orientation", and you answer "a people", with a rather long hidden
>agenda for choosing that answer (an agenda that you finally supplied,
>thank you), it's safe to say that you are being obtuse.
>
>>   Annoying, sure; I'm afraid I've given up on not being annoying.
>
>Yeah, I wouldn't sweat that one if I were you, either.
>---
>Michael Turner
>miket@tcs.com

Very nearly ROTFL...

Guilty!

I had thought the discussion was about the theoretical instances of
that sort of question, not how personally to asnwer.  If I was trying
to provide someone with that information, I'd have to qualify it all
to hell.  I've no sexual experience with other men; not adverse to the
idea, but women are more appealing aesthetically.  Emotionally responses
are about the same, except that I've (so far) only had 'loved the Other
above all things' reactions to women.  Presently entangled, quite
delightfully, with someone even more vanilla than self.

Graydon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
saundrsg@               "Praise then Darkness and Creation unfinished"
   qucdn.queensu.ca                   - U. K. LeGuin
From: litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Stephen Litterst)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: treating men as sex toys
Date: 6 Jan 93 00:34:47 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware, Newark

In article <MUFFY.92Dec24114049@remarque.berkeley.edu> muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy) writes:
>
>
>Without getting into "what is *really* bisexual," my personal definition
>of bisexual is not simply having sex with both men and women, but being
>*interested* in both men and women, as people, as emotional partners, as
>well as as sexual partners.  I wouldn't feel bisexual if I was just
>using men for sex...they'd just be a rather elaborate sort of dildo, and
>I don't think I would be bisexual if I was only having relationships (of
>any sort) with women and just had a large collection of dildos...*grin*.
>
>To me, this concept (men as sex toys) is very similar to the "hot bi
>babes" idea, where the women have a sexual relationship, but the real
>focus is on their relationship with the man.
>
>Is this something anyone else has noticed?  Something anyone can
>explain?
>
>Muffy

I've sort of noticed this, too.  From both sides actually.  I've seen men
with that attitude, women who will use other women that way, and women who
use men that way (ie: men for sex, other women for the emotional relationship.)
Personally, I do it backwards... I can't imagine myself being sexually involved
with another guy, but I have managed to create some very close emotional bonds
with some of them. ( I can have any sort of relationahip with women) I don't 
mind being caressed by guys (ask me about EveCon 10 sometime :-)) but beyond 
that I feel really uneasy.  But I digress...
	Anyway, back to the topic at hand.  I don't know why this happens...
Maybe some guys can't deal with the emotional aspect of a bi- relationship
(please don't flame... I'm just postulating based on my limited experience) or
maybe it's a hormonal release, or maybe it's a subconcious father-fantsy that
was a result of a bad filial relationship as a child.  Then again I could be 
lapsing into incoherent psycho-babble.  In short, I don't know.  Sorry I
couldn`t be of more help.

						Steve

-- 
| Stephen C. Litterst           |*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*|  
| kyraan@bach,udel.edu          |       More man than you'll ever be...   |
| litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu    \   More woman than you'll ever get.     |
|_guido@gnu.ai.mit.edu____________\ ______________________________________|
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: rsr@soda.berkeley.edu (Roy S. Rapoport)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Demuffining & Hug Request
Date: 12 Jan 1993 10:44:36 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley, CS Undergraduate Association
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu

In article <9JAN199312265032@acad3.alaska.edu> ftlao@acad3.alaska.edu (OSSANDER LINDA A) writes:
->
->Hello I am new to this group and in serious need of some hugs...I am what my

Linda! Hi! What a pleasant surprise to see you in this newsgroup ... 

*hug*
*snuggle*

I'll let Jeff do the rest.  Tell him I'll reimburse him.

->wanted to say hello to everyone and let you know I am here.  In Alaska..

*sigh* Great ... Tease us, why dontcha ... 

->>This is almost enough to make me wish I wont be in Alaska in
->>a week.  almost. <grin>
->
->Hummm wonder what Jeff is going to be doing in Alaska...;-))

Hmm ... I wonder what Jeff is doing in Alaska :).

(BTW, please apologize for me for falling asleep in the car on the way to
the airport.  As he knows, it was a long night).

-roy
-- 
Roy S. Rapoport     internet: rsr@soda.berkeley.edu      bitnet: rsrsoda@ucbocf
anonymous mail: wi.5836@n7kbt.rain.com        androphile, gynophile, kerryphile
"What I used to think is me / is just a faded memory." -NIN
"No mayonnaise in Ireland"
From: winsor@teng.ppd.ti.com (js)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Anyone read Sandman?
Date: 12 Jan 1993 23:32:36 GMT
Organization: Texas Instruments
Distribution: world
Reply-To: winsor@teng.ppd.ti.com (js)
NNTP-Posting-Host: geek.teng.ppd.ti.com

In article <C0rEB3.6o9@news.udel.edu>, eowyn@chopin.udel.edu (Zoe Antonia Velonis) writes:

} I'll also take this opportunity to add that I really can't say anything else 
} about the weekend until I talk with the people involved....But I have nothing
} against all of you knowing!
} 
} Zoe
} 
Oh, honor be damned.  Just spill it.  We won't tell anyone.
<innocent grin>

john
-- 
The opinions expressed in the above do not reflect those of
my employer, or anybody connected with my employer.  Including me.
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: mort@quads.uchicago.edu (Dave 'Mort' Mortman)
Subject: Re: Blatant hug request
Keywords: hugs, support
Reply-To: mort@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 22:05:34 GMT

Good luck with the family


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Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca (Brad Booth)
Subject: Re: A hug request and a general growl at the world
Originator: bbooth@bcrks6
Reply-To: bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca (Brad Booth)
Organization: BNR, Ottawa, ON, Canada
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 20:13:10 GMT


Ellen <DICKSONE@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> wrote:
> James Dilmore wrote:
> >I am quite annoyed with being closetted. I want to be out and sincere with the
> >people who I meet and know.
> >I have a question for the bunch. Where does the balance lie between discretion
> >and safety on one hand and sincerity and openness on the other?

Well, Diane's more "out" than I am.  She'll tell anyone.  She doesn't care
who knows, and any new friends she meets she'll tell them before they make
assumptions.  Me, I'll only mention it on a need to know basis... if they
don't need to know, I won't tell them. ;)

> oh oh  I know that one... *ouch*  I came out to my family about 6 years ago
> and that was quite hellish, though in the end things turned out ok.  My parents
> were incredibly strict Catholics who have (partly due to me) mellowed
> somewhat. 

Diane's parents haven't taken the news too well (mine don't know, yet).  
I don't know if it's because she's bi or because she's bi, she has a
female lover and we have an open marriage.  Maybe it's just a little
too much for her parents to handle at once.  Her folks are religiously
homophobic, which doesn't help (religiously homophobic is my term for
someone who thinks homosexuality is wrong because the bible says so).
We were amazed though that they didn't outright disown her.

> I haven't actually dated a woman in a long time, and I get the
> feeling that my parents have assumed that `it was a phase'

I think Diane's parents were hoping that's what is was... that got shot
down when she told them she was planning on marrying her lover. :)

Thank goodness for being 3000 miles away from them. ;)


Brand new 1993 hugs to all,

    __o     Brad Booth              | "If somebody feels really good
  _`\<,_    Bell-Northern Research  |  about who they are, they don't
 (*)/ (*)   Ottawa, Ontario, Canada |  feel threatened by what other
----------  bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca  |  people are." - Dr. M. Rubenstein
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: nigel@kathunk.phaedrav.on.ca (Nigel M Burnett)
Subject: Muffins
Organization: as little as possible
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 15:35:03 GMT


Well, partly in response to "more fluff" wanted and 'cause it
really happened:

My SO are lying in bed last night discussing the general problems
at the bakery/deli where she works.  Of course, the discussion
turns to "If I Ran The Bakery".  Clarisse decided that she'd
offer a different muffin each day of the week.  I giggled and
thought it was a wonderful idea.  Any volunteers?

Cheers
N.

(England is 90% sure - won't know for another few days - )

-- 
Nigel Burnett   416-690-1834	|"Internet is so big, so powerful and so
78 Normandy Blvd., Toronto      | pointless that for some people it is
Ontario, Canada, M4L 3K3       	| a complete substitute for life."
nigel@kathunk.phaedrav.on.ca	| -- Andrew Brown, The Independent
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Stephen Litterst)
Subject: Re: YES!  It works!!!
Organization: University of Delaware, Newark
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 00:13:44 GMT

In article <68F975CEC0200523@TUDOBM.TUDELFT.NL> C.G.C.vanDijk@IO.TUDelft.NL writes:
>> This was a quote too, I'm afraid :-), from JC Superstar.
>
>Sniff.  I feel very silly for getting my own quotes wrong.  Must
>have been the excitement of being able to quote at all.  Forget it please..
>

Please, quote from where-ever you feel like (esp. JC Superstar).  And why is it
all of the beautiful 6'2" people are in Europe?  Why don't they make them in
my size in the U.S.?

					Steve
					(6'6", and still looking)

---------<[{		 .sig in stereo (where available)     }]>------------
-- 
| Stephen C. Litterst           |*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*HUG*|  
| kyraan@bach,udel.edu          |       More man than you'll ever be...   |
| litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu    \   More woman than you'll ever get.     |
|_guido@gnu.ai.mit.edu____________\ ______________________________________|
From: dsr6190@zeus.tamu.edu (RANWALA, DON SUJEEWA DEVAPRIY)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Hi There
Date: 8 Jan 1993 18:52 CST
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: zeus.tamu.edu
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    


I am a bi-sexual male.  I study architecture at Texas A&M University.  I am 
delighted to know that there is a bi-sexual net.  I am kind of new to the scene.
Could somebody let me know of any bi romance publications.  They could be novels
videos, lyrics or CDs.  Also please tell me where in Houston or Austin I can 
shop for these things.

Thank you in advance,

Sujeewa.

Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore)
Subject: Re: Conversions
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 21:05:11 GMT

In article <1993Jan11.033716.7361@wierius.uucp> firewind@wierius.uucp (Tom Parker) writes:
>
>At one time I was doing some soul searching of my own and was running into
>a similar problem with my friends.  Sure they were trying to be helpful, but
>the difference between intent and results were significant.  Finally I said
>something along the lines of:
>
>"Look, I'm sorting out exactly how I feel right now.  The more you try to
>influence me, the longer it'll take for me to sort this out!  All you're
>doing is just muddying up the water, so back off!"
>
>Yeah, thats me -- Mr. Subtle...  :-)
>
That is really awsome.  I have a poster in my room which says, "life is too 
short to be subtle"  Learn it, love it, live it. :)

>
>[Egads, it looks like I've been enticed out of the net.closet!]
>-- 
>"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not
> become a monster.  And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also
> looks into you." -- Nietzsche

Yeah, hugs and welcome.  And you like Nietzsche too.  faing swoom.
swoon.  Yes I so lazy right now that I don't even want to go and change my
mistake from a previous line.  

Jim who doesn't care so there :+P.

-- 
Jim Dilmore - seamus@brahms.udel.edu    or    dilmore@che.udel.edu 
   Deconstruct your Gender          Safe sex doesn't mean no sex.          
If you can't be good,               It just means use your imagination. 
be good at it.  T.B.                     Billy Bragg 
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Stephen Litterst)
Subject: Re: A demuffining at last
Organization: University of Delaware, Newark
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 03:24:26 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.002155.20237@news.cs.brandeis.edu> shogan@binah.cc.brandeis.edu writes:
>mort@quads.uchicago.edu (Dave 'Mort' Mortman) writes:
>>I've been lurking about for the past 4 months or so and finally decided
>>to make a post. So here I am. I figured it was about time to make an
>>appearance.
>>
>>Dave "Mort" Mortman				      mort@midway.uchicago.edu
>>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>>Education is like sex, when it's good, it's very very good, and when it's bad,
>>it's better than nothing  -unattributed
>>If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no
>>longer be fanatasies - Fran Lebowitz
>>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Well, well, well <sounds of foot-tapping> and it's about time.<grin> 
>(Actually, you're about 2 months faster than I was...)
>
>Welcome, welcome, welcome!
>Sooooooo, do ya want a hug from a recent ex-muffin?  I do so love the 
>concept of e-hugs...erm, actually...virtual-hugs or in-real-life-hugs...
>but I will wait until I'm invited...<wistful Bambi-eyed look>.
>
>Sue (Banimpire -- poised, waiting hopefully)

Oh wow! A new muffin (and one that I missed earlier {sorry, Sue})!!!!!

It's been so long... I forget myself...  I CAN'T HOLD BACK ANY LONGER!!!
*POUNCE* *GRAB* *HUG* *SQUEEEEEEEEZE* *SMOOCH* *QUICKGROPE* SMOOCH *SNUGGLE*
**NUZZLE* *NIBBLE* *HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG* AAAAaaaaaaahhhhhh...

Smile... :-)		
						Steve

-- 
        ---<[{       .sig in stereo (where available)       }]>---
| Stephen C. Litterst           |  Nice guys finish last...              |
| kyraan@bach.udel.edu           \ 	But we do get to sleep in.       |
|_litterst@freezer.cns.udel.edu___\______________________________________|
From: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: bi badge wanted in UK:advice?
Date: 12 Jan 93 15:52:59 GMT
Reply-To: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Organization: Edinburgh University

Bifrost sell lots of different kinds of badges: write to Bifrost, PO Box
117, Norwich NR1 2SU.  Disclaimer:  I sometimes collate Bifrost.
  __                                  _____
\/ o\ Paul Crowley   pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk \\ //
/\__/ Trust me. I know what I'm doing. \X/ 
Xref: sparky soc.bi:17903 alt.polyamory:2338
From: pfieland@citron.sw.stratus.com (Peggy Fieland)
Newsgroups: soc.bi,alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Set the WayBack Machine (Coming Out)
Date: 12 Jan 93 15:16:40 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Software Engineering
NNTP-Posting-Host: citron.sw.stratus.com


>our area, and to have a couple of replacements in case one of ours goes
>missing.  Mine's already chipped a bit with wear.  *grin*)

I'd be happy to talk to Scott -- can you send me his email address.

>Elaborations on this?  :(  Email might be a better forum if you
>don't want to vent in public.

Oh, well, here goes.  We're just headed in opposite directions.  
We've been seeing our minister for couples counseling for a few
months now (at about two week intervals). We're UU's , and
our minister is a (straight) woman. Last week, we finally got
down to the nitty gritty, where I was able to admit that I wanted
a female lover, and J. admitted that he wanted a monogamous marriage.
D. (our minister) stated that we had a problem, since we both felt
differently, reitterated that it wasn't a question of moral condemnation,
or anything, but that our feelings were very different, and we should
meet again in a week.  J. again stated that the only way he saw that
we could stay together would be if I had an affair (one time) and
then things went back to (more or less) the way they used to be.
I stated that that didn't sound very satisfying to me, and that
whatever I did or didn't do, my view of the world was different now
and always would be.  

Well, you get the idea.  We see D. again Thursday.

Peggy
From: mnorth@guvax.acc.georgetown.edu
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Any (other) UUis(address)
Date: 11 Jan 93 22:54:52 -0500
Distribution: world
Organization: Georgetown University

The Unitarian Universalists Bisexuals Newtork, produces a newsletter 
and educational literature at this time.  Plans for gatherings may be 
in the works.  

To join, send name, address and $10 (US) to 
P.O. Box 10818, Portland ME 04104

It is co-chaired by two very competant folks, one of whom is on the 
Bi computer networks a lot.  I'll see if he'll drop a line.

UU Friendly Michael
from D.C.

Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: orc@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons)
Subject: Re: Lifestyle (was Re: Coming out to family)
Organization: Department of Atomic Text Units
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 20:27:34 GMT

In article <C0HKnH.B3n@newcastle.ac.uk> J.W.Harley@newcastle.ac.uk (Jon Harley) writes:
|In <1992Dec23.222808.18332@midway.uchicago.edu> (yes, I'm that far behind)
|pmm7@ellis.uchicago.edu (peggy boucher murphy (you had to ask?)) writes:
|>call me an assimilationist.  
|
|Peg you're an assimilationist :)


   So, peg, are you using the standard definition of
assimilationist, or one that's closer to, umm, an Orcish
definition?

                 ____
   david parsons \bi/ shameless abuser of the english language
                  \/
Newsgroups: soc.bi,alt.polyamory
From: litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Stephen Litterst)
Subject: Re: What to do at a bar?
Organization: University of Delaware, Newark
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 23:35:48 GMT

In article <C0rFKC.6z5@news.udel.edu> seamus@ravel.udel.edu (James G Dilmore) writes:
>In article <1993Jan12.003832.23661@fuug.fi> an1428@anon.penet.fi writes:
>>  Having never been to a gay bar (or anyother bar of
>>this type) I am wondering what to do?
>>I know this sounds strange (stupid is a better word),
>>but I am much (MUCH) better at picking up girls.
>>I am going to have to chance to travel around the
>>eastern part of the US this summer and would like to
>>hear your thoughts on how I should handle going to
>>a gay (or bi...is there such a thing?) bar.
>>.
>>I mean what do I do.....go sit at the bar?
>>I know...I know...there is no difference, but hey,
>>humor me here...I am a super fresh muffin.
>>The Masked Muffin.
>
>I have only gone to a gay bar once.  But what I gathered was that people
>are there to pick up and be picked up.  Just make yourself look available
>and something will happen.  I personally dance and don't like the meat market
>idea.  But hey it can be fun too.
>
>Jim

Of course, there's more to do at a bar than meet people. Or so I'm assuming
from Jim's 30 degree list to port after coming back from the Deer Park last 
night.  ;-)  
	But seriously, grab some friends and go.  Friends are important so that
you've got people there you trust if you feel you've really embarrassed yourself
(as I often feel after I try picking someone up in a bar.)  Just go, be yourself
and see what happens...

					Steve L.

-- 
        ---<[{       .sig in stereo (where available)       }]>---
| Stephen C. Litterst           |  Nice guys finish last...              |
| kyraan@bach.udel.edu           \ 	But we do get to sleep in.       |
|_litterst@freezer.cns.udel.edu___\______________________________________|
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: dwells@lonestar.utsa.edu (Darren . Wells)
Subject: Re: Urgent notice!
Keywords: Make up your own.
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 22:47:49 GMT

In article <1r#3q=h@rpi.edu> safarj@aix.rpi.edu (Jonah Emanuel Safar) writes:
>Warning!  It has been noted by our professional and tireless staff that not
>enough fluff has been posted to soc.bi.  This may cause numerous detremental
>effects, including, severly annoyed postees, serious thought, ppermanent
>frowns, fewer government dollars spent and more boring reading for those
>of us who can't take ourselves seriously.
>We have given this problem serious (for us) consideration, and have
>decided that there is but one solution.  More fluff must be posted.
>Tell your friends.  Tell your enemies.  Tell your friend's friends.
>Tell your enemy's friends.  And tell your mother-in-law too.
><Urgent call for fluff in soc.bi morse-code sound overlay>

I've been doing my best for the past hour and a half.
(Do I ever post anything that is non-fluffy?)

I don't know about telling my mother-in-law though.  The
closest thing to a mother-in-law I have probably wouldn't
be much help.

>Jonah E. Safar             R.P.I., Troy, NY              EMail to:safarj@rpi.edu

Darren
(NOW I know why I have been responding to everything I read today . . . )

Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: mort@quads.uchicago.edu (Dave 'Mort' Mortman)
Subject: A demuffining at last
Followup-To: soc.bi,poster
Reply-To: mort@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 19:58:24 GMT

I've been lurking about for the past 4 months or so and finally decided
to make a post. So here I am. I figured it was about time to make an
appearance.

Dave "Mort" Mortman				      mort@midway.uchicago.edu
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Education is like sex, when it's good, it's very very good, and when it's bad,
it's better than nothing  -unattributed
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no
longer be fanatasies - Fran Lebowitz
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Newsgroups: soc.bi