HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: geoff@ficus.cs.ucla.edu (Geoffrey Kuenning)
Subject: Re: What would you have done (was: Re: Bang me on the head)
Organization: UCLA, Computer Science Department
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 93 19:49:42 GMT

In article <16B627E99.BIOSEE@UKCC.UKY.EDU> BIOSEE@UKCC.UKY.EDU
(Stephanie Edelmann) writes:

(medium-long story about encounter with a friendly old man deleted)

> I don't know if I did the right thing, though.  Somehow I should have found
> a way to nicely tell him that I'd rather not have him give anything to my
> child - because of the dangers.  The "thanks, but no thanks"approach.
> What would you guys have done? And at what age do you think they understand
> that they shouldn't take anything from a stranger?

First make sure they know what a stranger is (see my previous
posting).  Then ask yourself just how paranoid you want your child to
be.  Remember that *almost all* strangers are good people.  In fact,
they are resources a child can depend on in an emergency.  If a bad
stranger grabs the kid, they can and should look to almost anybody
nearby for help.

I suspect you also don't want your kids to be hostile and and
unfriendly.  I have a 13-year-old friend who, when she was 3, would
roll down the car window and yell "Hi" at everybody we passed.  She's
still an outgoing, personable kid, and I'm glad I didn't suppress her
behavior out of concern for her safety.

Nevertheless, of course, you also want to protect your kid against the
wierdos who really do exist out there.  I think the "I have to ask my
mommy first" approach might be the easiest for a kid to understand.
Don't tell them "don't take things," because they won't be able to
resist the temptation when you're not around (remember that when
they're young, you'll only be absent for a moment).  Instead, tell
them they have to ask you first.  That way there's only one rule
whether you're there or not.  And teach them that you'll usually say
yes, so that they won't be tempted to gobble before you get back to
avoid the "no."

Just my $0.02 worth, as a kid-lover who enjoys talking to 3-year-olds
whenever I can be sure I'm not going to give the parents a heart attack.

BTW, a quick story about "average" strangers: on my honeymoon, there
was a woman on the train to Vienna who had an 8-year-old girl and a
very active and independently-minded 3-year-old.  When we arrived, she
loaded herself up with all the baby's stuff and shepherded both kids
into the busy station.  As soon as they got off the platform, the
3-year-old decided to head off at high speed in his own direction.
Instantly, a tall man appeared out of the crowd, picked up the kid
(who didn't object at all to being grabbed from behind by a stranger),
and headed in the direction *he* preferred to take the kid.

Heart attack time?  Not at all: the stranger was me, and I handed the
tyke back to the mother before she even had time to notice he was
loose.  So don't be afraid of everybody you see!
-- 
	Geoff Kuenning	geoff@maui.cs.ucla.edu	geoff@ITcorp.com
Organization: Administrative Computing & Info Services, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 15:44:34 -0500 
From: Laura McGinnis <lm3a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Baby Bath Frequency (was Re: Starting bedtime rituals (Was: ...)
	<93022.164630LIBEMC@BYUVM.BITNET>
Distribution: usa

On 22-Jan-93 in Re: Starting bedtime ritual..
user LIBEMC@BYUVM.BITNET writes:
>Kelley asked if bathing baby every 4-6 days only is normal and
>okay.  Well, I bath Emily about that often (she is 5 months),
>mainly because I can't find a good reason to do it more often.
>I wash her bottom off when it is messy, and her face also,
>but only give her a real bath when I feel like playing in the
>bathtub with her.  I hope we aren't the only ones who don't
>bathe the baby every day.  My ped. said it was okay not to
>bathe her every day, so I don't.

Our pediatricians recommended NOT bathing the baby every day, since our
kids both have dry skin. So, like Ellen, we make sure the commonly messy
areas are cleaned as needed, then save the bath as a special play time. 
We've done this with boths kids & have has little to no bath anxiety
(Mickey got scared once when the pipes rattled while he was in the tub,
but we worked through the fear during the next bath).  Infact, we tend
to have the opposite problem - how do you get them out of the tub once
the water's turned cold & their bodies look like raisins?

The only time Mickey ever needed daily baths was last summer/early fall,
when he started school (on-cmapus daycare).  He found the water fountain
on the first day & spent almost every moment of every outside play
period playing with it.  Our nightly ritual of play-supper-play-bed
became play-supper-bath-bed with no problems.  We figure we'll go back
to this when the weather warms up again & he's outside more (& they've
turned the water fountain back on).

YMMV.

Laura
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: SusanS@sunfish.ratsys.com (Susan Schlenger)
Subject: Montessori      
Organization: Rational Systems, Inc.
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 1993 01:37:17 GMT

Both of my children are currently enrolled in Montessori schools.  The 
oldest is six, in elementary Montessori.  The youngest is 4, in preschool 
Monstessori.  Although Montessori school methods are wonderful, (and I've 
found that both of my very different children have thrived there), there are 
good Montessori schools and bad ones.  My oldest child had three years in 
preschool Montessori, the first of which was run in a very militant and 
structured manner.  The second school had structure, curriculum and goals, 
but allowed him to proceed at his own pace.  What is wonderful about these 
schools is that absences due to illness don't usually mandate horrendous 
amounts of catch-up, and while all the curriculum is learned, it is learned 
in the order in which the child can best absorb it.  For instance, my oldest 
is weak in phonics, but has an extraordinary vocabulary. He is superb in 
math.  Therefore, he brings home homework in phonics and spelling, but may 
choose work in school to a certain extent.  It all gets done, but with less 
resentment, and, I think, better timing.

	If you are interested in Montessori, you should visit serveral 
schools to observe their slant on the method.
	The very best thing about Montessori is the hetergenous mix of 
classmates.  Both of my children have children in their classes from all 
over the world.  Because Montessori is world-wide, relocated families tend 
to find it in different countries.  It is very enriching, and exciting for 
the children to hear different languages and customs.  And, I want my 
children to grow up in the real world-not some customized segment of it.
	Montessori also stresses self-esteem and values.  Both my children 
have benefitted from that!!!!
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: quinn@EE-CF.Stanford.EDU (Christine A. Quinn)
Subject: Re: Zoe Baird's Woes....
Followup-To: misc.kids
Keywords: illegal caregivers
Organization: Stanford University
Distribution: su
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 22:25:18 GMT

Well, maybe she shouldn't have thought that she could get away
with her hiring undocumented workers, I can at least understand
how it could happen:

I've found myself in similar circumstances.  The bottom line is
you want what's best for your child(ren).  I have had nannies,
sitters, caregivers, etc. from all different situations - some
legal and some borderline (one woman was applying for a greencard
under the amnesty program) and each case the situation was similar.
I needed someone within a certain timeframe.  I gave myself plenty
of time, but the emotional turmoil one goes through when selecting
someone to care for their precious children is great and the least
amount of time doing such a thing the better, in my mind.  I
interviewed dozens of people - waiting for the "right" one.  Once
I found the person who felt right (and the intuitive feeling was
far more important to me than the resume) I found myself *much*
less concerned with their status than with the fact that they 
would work for me for what I could afford and could start 
right away and that I trusted them.  The status issue came up
afterwards and when it was found that she wasn't totally "legal"
I found I chose to ignore that issue and concentrate on the rest.
Perhaps this is a cop out.  I was so relieved that I had found
someone it just didn't matter as much anymore.

Now someday, should I choose to seek a position of political
importance - I may have to deal with such a choice.  But that 
seems distant and unlikely (though would it have to Zoe Baird?)
and so I can put it aside.  At least I knew my child was getting
the care he needs and I no longer had to worry about finding
someone for him.  A notion that I heartily embraced.

On another, related subject:  I don't understand why she was criticized
on two counts.  She was told that she shouldn't have hired the
couple AND that once she did that she should have paid Social
Security for them.  If they are illegal how does one pay SS and
not have them exposed?  If you do pay, the govt. now knows about
the workers and will have them deported.  Also, how can you
pay SS for someone who doesn't have an SS number (and can't get
one legally!)?  I still can't understand why she would pay the
fine for having hired them and the back SS taxes, too.  Who is
ever going to get that money?  Certainly not the Peruvian couple.

-chris

-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Amidst the lists and unix quotes,       |  Christine A. Quinn
With awkish scripts and starkest posts, |  Stanford University
She pounds the keys and C's the most,   |  Electrical Engineering
and still insists she frees the host.   |    Computer Facility
From: millerj@belize.crd.ge.com (Julia K. Miller)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Trip to remote island with 8 month old, what would you take along?
Date: 27 Jan 93 15:20:07 GMT
Reply-To: millerj@belize.crd.ge.com (Julia K. Miller)
Organization: GE Corporate R&D Center


	We're going to a resort on a remote island off of Hondouras next
month.  I want to try to bring medicines for most possible situations since
I won't be able to run out to the store.  So far I've got:

1) baby tylenol
2) baby cough medicine
3) baby oragel
4) baby poison treatment stuff (I foret the name - syrup of something)
5) baby diaper rash treatment
6) disposable diapers
7) baby food & cereal
8) clothing
9) baby suntan lotion
10) baby thermometer
11) baby soap and shampoo
12) toys


	Anything obvious that I'm missing?


Julia
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf)
Subject: Re: Leaving kids alone
Organization: /home/ludviga/cindy/.organization
	<1993Jan20.202322.8472@cbnewse.cb.att.com> <2534@shaman.wv.tek.com>
Date: 21 Jan 93 21:27:58

A story that happened in Kristiansund, a small city not far from here:
Yesterday (Wednesday) a 2 year 3 month old girl died of burns she
received in a house fire on Monday.  Her father (no mention was made
in the paper of her mother) left her alone in the house for a
half-hour.  The fire fighters believe she turned on one of the burners
on the stove, on which was a pot with some food still in it, and this
started the fire.  She was unconscious when they got her out of the
house, and never woke up.

To me, 2 years is clearly far too young to be left alone at all... i
wonder why the father did that 8-(

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondheim, Norway

Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: M17257@mwvm.mitre.org
Subject: Re: Things you do to save time
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, McLean VA 22102
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 14:35:51 GMT

In article <cindy.226@berkp.uadv.uci.edu>
cindy@berkp.uadv.uci.edu (Cindy Windham) writes:
 
>
>I'm sure that for most of us, the time we spend with our children is
>very precious, and we'd love to have more of it.  If you've found a
>way to shave a couple minutes off of a routine task, please share it
>with us.  Thanks in advance!
>
>- Cindy Windham
Boy is this thread going pull in some repsonses!
 
WEll, we have tried a variety of things, still evaluating our latest revisions.
 
We both work full time now (:-(, but we save a lot by the fact that we work at
the same company (different buildings, but same place). Also, in order to
increase our time with our son (and make use of the soon to be HOV lanes) we
have Stefan in a home day care very close to our offices.
 
We switch who gets dropped off at work and who takes the car (whoever gets
dropped off, gets in earlier).
 
2. We have a class on Tuesday evenings, and my parents have oh, so generously
donated their time to sit Stefan while we have school and then we go out to
eat. (more for speed than for actually "going out").
Our class is scheduled right at the end of our usual workday, so we end up
going in a little early and/or working through lunch, so that we can leave a
half hour or so early and pick up Stefan, drop him off, and get to school.
 
3. We have deliberately scheduled ALL small errands for Friday nights. (kind
of a drag if you like to go out, but easier for us) We don't have to really
worry about staying out too late, and that way we aren't running 1-2 errands
everyday and getting home at 7pm, not having anytime together, etc.
 
4. We do a kind of haphazard laundry routine. As each week progresses, I keep
an eye on the laundry to be cleaned.  When a load looks large enough to do, I
stick it in the wash before we leave for work and dry it when we get home.
Sometimes I can actually even get it folded and put away! :-)
 
5. We have discovered the benefits of not just laying the mail down to sort at
a later time.  As soon as we bring it in, I pull out the junk mail and trash
the obvious junk, glance through the sale ads and trash them, open the bills
and trash the ads/etc, and put them in our "bill box".
 
6. We also have a comforter with a duvet cover, so that bed making is very quic
k.  Just shake out the cover and straighten the pillows and you're done.
 
7. I have found that keeping an appointment book (:-( isvery helpful.  (I hate
to do this, but it really does save time) and writing done all our errands and
other plans/appointments/etc. really helps us do things quickly.
 
8. We put together all the things we are taking to work the next day after
dinner the night before and we try to even put everything we can into the car.
That way in the mornings we only have to get us ready and get something to eat.
(Now our secret is out, we usually eat pop tarts or small pastries in the car
on the way to work.)
 
Well, that's all I can think of right now.
 
Ellie Blackwell
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: tini@iss.nus.sg (Surjatini Widjojo)
Subject: cervical caps
Organization: Institute Of Systems Science, NUS
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 01:53:07 GMT

Cervical caps are not foolproof. They can get dislodged in certain
positions. Yes, they are fitted, but a good fit can get dislodged.
Check it after each intercourse. I think the brochures mention 88%
effectiveness. That's not as good as condoms.

I used it successfully for over a year and a half before getting my
surprise. I now have a 15 month daughter :)

--
   Surjatini Widjojo (tini@iss.nus.sg)
   Institute of Systems Science                           Ph: +65 772-6240 
   National University of Singapore                      FAX: +65 778-2571
   Singapore 0511                               
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: cstxqbe@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (The Tall BlondE)
Subject: Re: baby powder
Summary: Alternative uses..
Organization: Department of Computer Science, Warwick University, England
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 13:04:15 GMT

In article <1jh8p1INN336@gazette.bcm.tmc.edu> pburch@roc.mbcr.bcm.tmc.edu (Paula Burch) writes:
>
Some stuff about possibilities of some talcs causing ovarian cancer deleted..
>
>I can't find much use for the enormous box of scented corn starch we received
>as a shower gift--the stuff stinks. I can't see any attraction in putting that
>awful "baby powder" scent on my sweet-smelling little baby!
>

I've always been a bit senstive to talcs (especially the smelly ones) so we've
always had loads about "spare". One use is to sprinkle a bit on a carpet
and then hoover it up. You slowly make your way across the room. It works a
bit like "shake and vac" type products. Great if you've got pets that shed
hair everywhere but probably not so good if you react to dust particles in the
air. It's not too bad because you are vacuming it up so quickly. The smell
hangs about for a while and makes the room smell better than wet dog. I quite
like the peach one I was given a while back.

Kate.  :)|
-- 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Kate Kingman        \ cstxqbe@dcs.warwick.ac.uk \ Your prison is         ~
~ ** The Tall BlondE **\ esudb@csv.warwick.ac.uk   \ walking through       ~
~	:)|		\ 	:)|		    \ this world all alone ~
From: lynnef@tekig1.PEN.TEK.COM (Lynne Axel Fitzsimmons)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Preschool biters (can't mail to Ken Staffan)
Date: 25 Jan 93 18:48:11 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Beaverton,  OR.

At our (former, as all are now in elementary school) preschool, after
a child bit for a certain number of times, they were out.  Take it
up with your director.  If they can't ensure the safety of your
child, maybe this isn't the preschool you want your child at.
--
Lynne Fitzsimmons		lynnef@tekig1.pen.tek.com

"Second star on the right and straight on till morning" - Barrie, Pan, Kirk
From: pburch@roc.mbcr.bcm.tmc.edu (Paula Burch)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: SAFE SEX or SAFER SEX?
Date: 25 Jan 1993 19:56:18 GMT
Organization: Baylor College of Medicine, Houston, Tx
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: roc.mbcr.bcm.tmc.edu
Originator: pburch@roc.mbcr.bcm.tmc.edu


M18611@MBVM.Mitre.Org (Kathy Wilk) writes:
>  
>   Here's something I would like to have cleared up - is there such a thing as
> safe sex (outside of marriage - OK, perhaps even in marriage, it's not so
> safe...)?

"Safe sex" is really an epidemiological concept. If EVERYONE used latex 
condoms every time, then there would not be an AIDS epidemic, period. 
That's pretty darned safe. Promotion of condom usage now could save 
millions of lives in the next decade or two, even though condoms are 
imperfect.

Unfortunately, as you point out, "safe sex" on an individual level is
meaningless, as long as there is an epidemic going on at all, and the 
term is used to refer to what might more precisely be known as "safer 
sex".

Paula Burch
pburch@bcm.tmc.edu
From: ahelmers@umiami.ir.miami.edu
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Fun stuff with kids
Date: 21 Jan 93 22:34:33 EST
Distribution: na
Organization: Univ of Miami IR

In article <2522@shaman.wv.tek.com>, alanj@endeavor18.tek.com (Alan Jeddeloh) writes:

[Alan writes about Laura trying to get mommy and daddy to operate *her* toys]

> But I can see the report from first grade already:  "Laura does not apply
> herself, and often tries to get the other children to do her work for her."
> :-) :-)  :-)  :-)


Ah, but Alan, you aren't visualizing far enough into the future.  Her first
performance review in a career track job: "Great managerial potential...
delegates mundane tasks in completely effective and appropriate manner" :) :) :)


Ann Helmers
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: M18611@MBVM.Mitre.Org (Kathy Wilk)
Subject: SAFE SEX or SAFER SEX?
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, Bedford MA 01730
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 17:21:02 GMT

 
  Here's something I would like to have cleared up - is there such a thing as
safe sex (outside of marriage - OK, perhaps even in marriage, it's not so
safe...)?
  I was under the impression that even sex with a condom was only SAFER sex,
as far as AIDS and pregnancy go.  I have been reading part of a discussion
in this newsgroup about whether a parent would be happy if his or her teen
had sex outside of marriage (someone named Dena and someone named Carol Con-
ell expressed opinions).
  I'm pretty sure that the only thing that might be termed SAFE sex is sex
within a monogamous marriage when both partners have not been exposed to
possible sources of the AIDS virus ( and that includes 'nice guys' and
'nice girls' - you can't identify a carrier by his or her looks, clothes,
neighborhood, level of education, or parents).  Also masturbation can be
called SAFE sex.
  If you talk about sex with a condom, use the correct term - SAFER sex.
If condoms are AIDs-proof (and I don't mean 99.1%), please clarify this
matter for me.
  You can use the term 'SAFER sex' when talking about approving of your
teens having sex and be more realistic about what you are approving, I would
think.
 
 
                        K. Wilk
                        M18611@MBVM.MITRE.ORG
 
            <--********************************-->
 'Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him to the ground
  on top of me.' - Mark Twain
            <--********************************-->
From: scott@Apple.COM (scott douglass)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Non-flamable circumsision info-seeking question
Date: 26 Jan 93 07:48:59 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

Has anyone ever had a boy whose foreskin did not retract past
the age of five?  Will it eventually retract?  I hate to even
imagine how they would go about "fixing" it.  I would appreciate
any information or experiences.  I sure hope I don't regret
not having him circumsised!

		--  maggie


-- 
				--scott douglass
Any opinions above may be mine and are not necessarily those of Apple Computer.
domain: scott@apple.com  UUCP: {nsc, sun, voder, well, dual}!apple!scott
CSNet: scott@Apple.CSNet  AppleLink: Douglass1
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: ishizaki@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com (Audrey Ishizaki)
Subject: Re: mini-pills and nursing
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 18:11:09 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Laboratories Palo Alto,CA

re: when period returned while nursing

I'm still breastfeeding my baby (he's almost 17 months old), though I must
admit, I don't produce that much anymore...
Anyhow, my periods returned two weeks before my son's first birthday

audrey ishizaki
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: marcy@sqwest.wimsey.bc.ca (Marcy Thompson)
Subject: Re: RECIPES NEEDED FOR FUSSY EATERS
Organization: SoftQuad Inc., Surrey, British Columbia, CANADA
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 20:23:12 GMT

Nancy M. Schnepp (ns@bohr.physics.purdue.edu) wrote:

>> I have two fussy eaters, ages 7 and 11.  I am very tired
>> of the spaghettios or macaroni and cheese suppers.  

What I did with Alison is set a boring alternative meal. In our case,
it was a bowl of Cheerios. Anyone who didn't like the dinner could get
herself a bowl of Cheerios and a banana. The only concession I made
to Alison's pickiness was to make spicy food somewhat less spicy
(and let the adults spice it further at the table). 

The rules were:

  No comments about the main supper being icky: just go get your Cheerios.

  Cheerios counted as a real meal (in other words, you still got dessert).

  You could have a little of the supper and round out the meal with Cheerios.

This worked quite well. It changed suppertime from me trying to cater to
her tastes all the time. I did make sure to serve things I knew she liked
fairly often. And I occasionally made things she liked that I hate. She'd
eat boxed macaroni and cheese, and I'd munch down on Cheerios.

These days, she'll eat just about anything, but the Cheerios are still
available just in case.

Marcy
-- 

Marcy Thompson		
  SoftQuad (West)			
    marcy@sqwest.wimsey.bc.ca (preferred) or marcy@sq.com
Organization: Student Employment Office, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA