From: Veeramany.Sthanumurthy@bbs.oit.unc.edu (Veeramany Sthanumurthy)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: "After all, it is just a sty!"
Keywords: Hogs, sties, Pablo, Saithan, :-)
Date: 12 Aug 92 15:39:47 GMT
Organization: Extended Bulletin Board Service

The scene is a sty called BW outside a nettle farm. Head hog Pablo
is holding court. His gentle voice intones "Today's topic my
fellow hogs is - Hog heaven according to His Holy Hog Napoleon."
There is a momentary lull. Suddenly, a debauched hog chatters.
All hell breaks loose. Welcome to Hog Heaven, BW Sty.

There were all kinds of hogs in the sty, Nay, court. Some humble
hogs, haughty hogs, hoity-toity hogs, lion-hearted hogs, religious
hogs, atheistic hogs, preaching hogs, poetic hogs, vegetarian hogs,
meat-eating hogs, scatological hogs, mating hogs, fighting hogs,
professorial hogs, studious hogs, weary hogs, virile hogs, hoary
hogs, rowdy hogs, SCIlly hogs, title-changing hogs, fatally feminine
hogs and even a few masquerading hogs. Why the last bunch was, is
an Eternal Design question. They all went merrily about snorting
and generally doing what hogs do.

HH Pablo is an experienced hog. Not your run-of-the-farm type, he!
These contemptible born and bred for the flesh types are mere pawns
in his eternal quest. Pablo was kind and gentle. No hog had ever
heard a harsh snort from him. His only flaw lay in his inability to
resist temptation when the immortal Wodehousian The Phog came visiting.
They were known to go long and hard into the wee hours, chugging a lug
as it were. Thus, it was, that Pablo came to become a veritable
BW hog.

The way it all began was thusly. Pablo was a simple half-ton hog
going about his hogging duties when, one day, he came across a
curious hermit hog, Napoleon, outside a public farm. Napoleon
was an incurable hog. Full of debilitating wit, he had no 
kindness for all the lowly hogs toiling in the miasmic muck-raked
sty. But, Napoleon was nobody's fool. Though, being a loner and
hating sties, he was given to long periods of moping, occasionally,
on a whim he was known to have a go at a stray barking dog. Or cat. 
Or even a bird. And, at trying times, at hogs, lowly, mighty, 
masquerading and all! Naturally, Pablo felt an instinctive awe
and reverence for Napoleon.

In course of time, Pablo picked up one of Napoleon's curious 
pastimes - considering a hog - reading. In all his previous
existence, Pablo had never felt such a thrill. He hogged 
everything he could find and soon surpassed Napoleon in his 
might - his peccadillos excepted. But, for a while,
as a mark of respect, he kept the faith. Such restraint was
quite unbecoming and soon he hit upon a ploy. Quite an old
one really, but for a hog, quite momentous: Spreading the
word of the mighty Napoleon, the slayer of cats and dogs,
birds and hogs!

All of a Sudden "Heaven hath no glory as the Hog heaven."
came the squeaky voice. Hardly loud enought to be heard above the
din. But, Pablo, the ever-alert observer, realized that an intruder 
was at hand. He knew a 'Speare when he heard one. All his hogging 
was not for naught, he thought, with a genial smile. Calculating 
quickly, he figured that odds may not favor him. So, he decided 
against a confrontation. That was not his style anyway. 
"Hi Saithan." He recognized the squeaky-voiced hog. Ever the kind 
hog. A few quiet hogs noticed. And muttered in private: "Pablo is
King. Long live the King."

Saithan was humbled. He followed Pablo around on his long
arduous treks - tried to strike a friendship - or so he thought.
Stupid Saithan, little did he know of the tangled webs
Pablo was weaving. Such a silly challenger, Pablo thought
to himself, as he saw Saithan poking fun at his fellow hogs 
getting mud on his face. 

Though Pablo developed respect for Saithan in private, he
couldn't possibly give up his throne. He tried his best to
dissuade Saithan. The fool didn't listen. So, Pablo let loose
his ultimate weapon: "As Napoleoon says: Its after all,
Just a sty." Not satisfied, he rubbed it in: "Hogs don't have
any use for a 'Speare."

Saithan slunk away.

And, Pablo dropped a load.
--
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