From: jeanie@cbnewsm.cb.att.com (jean.c.ward)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples
Subject: Re: Cruelty when breaking up
Date: 21 Jul 92 17:06:06 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: AT&T

In article <Brqs6H.KDp@news.larc.nasa.gov> nimmo@scb3.larc.nasa.gov (Nancy A. Nimmo) writes:
>
>Ray's original post:
>>>) I have a question.  How common is it when you break up with someone
>                                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>>) (who supposedly was in love with you) that they then treat you very badly?
>					 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>N's response:
>>"       Ray doesn't understand why the woman he has broken up with is 'cruel'
>> to him. Is he serious?  Let me get this straight... Ray was the one who
>>  broke up right? ..... "
>>  But, of course, without anymore details it's hard to say.
>  >stuff deleted<

>>   But once again, without any details, who really knows? "
>
>Ray's response to N:
>>>Wrong.  *I* was still trying to get back together with her, and she
>>>kept blowing *me* off!  It seems like my use of the phrase "broken up
>>>with" has led you to believe that I did the dumping.  Sorry to
>>>have mislead you.
>>>Since you do mention a certain lack of knowledge concerning the
>>>actual details, it would have been nice if you were more sure of
>>>them before you cut me down so thoroughly.  But I guess if it
>>>made you feel better about yourself, then it wasn't a total loss.
>
>   Once again someone is getting upset because they got an answer that
>didn't agree with their position.  

I don't think that's why he's upset.  I don't think that was jest of his
post at all.  

>   Anyone posting a "Dear Net" article must remember that it gets posted 
>to a network which several million people have access to. The poster is
>subjecting themselves to many different interpertations and opinions on
>what they have written. This is the beauty of the Net...experiences of
>thousands of people of different ages, sex, and culture.

I fail to see where it entitles anyone to be blatantly rude and insensitive
to anyone.  Usually, when you see a post like Ray's you have to figure that
the person is upset or hurting about a situation.  Therefore, the writing
may not be it's best and if details are missing, the poster should be given
the benefit of the doubt.  I read other numerous responses to Ray's post
and your interpretation of it seemed to be unique.  

>   As far as my response to Ray,  I did stress that I did not know
>the details, and gave the assumptions my opinions were based on.  Unfortunately
>Ray found my blunt analysis and opinion disagreeable...but that's the risk
>one takes when posting to the Net (as I am now :^).  Nancy

You're right.  You stated it twice in your post.  I, actually, thought that
alot of your post was due to you stating that "you were bored at work" and
at the end of your post signing it with something about having been dumped
on by someone.  I thought that you were probably having a bad day but I
was surprised to see you respond again in the same nature as your first. 
I was especially surprised that after Ray gave you details, the context of your post remained unchanged.

--
Jeanie
Newsgroups: alt.romance