From: zaphodb@brahms.udel.edu (Angela Marie Watson)
Subject: Re: The Anonymous Service: This Waiter Has A Fake Accent
Summary: Oh god, what have I done? 
Organization: none 
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 18:18:08 GMT


**********************************DISCLAIMER********************************
This post is being made from someone else's account.  I do not have
net access on my own or an email address. The owner of this account has
NO IDEA just what I'm posting or to where.  Please do not send any
correspondance to this account!!!  I will not have any access to the
net (or any network) after I finish posting this message.  There will
be NO WAY to contact me in any way (so don't bother trying).  
****************************************************************************

RELKIE:

	I'm the FAKE psycho kitten.  I'm the person who pretended to
be the owner of the account that I had been posting from.  I assumed
someone else's name and posted all the articles labeled with the authour
"psycho kitten".  I was using someone else's account without permission
and impersonated another person (the REAL psycho kitten) during the
month of May 1992.

	I'm also the one you talked to on the phone and the one who
drove to Canada to see you.  The name I gave you (and others) was false
but it was me who you saw.  I stopped posting before the real owner of 
the account I was using discovered what was going on.  I didn't have
net access again until today. I promised to never post again (esp. not
to this group), but I feel compelled to post one last time.  I had an
opportunity to see this newsgroup one last time and instead of seeing that
things had gotten better for you, they are worse.  Since this is the
only opportunity I'll have to say any of this to you, I'm going to
post it all.  I'd prefer to keep this to email, but I don't have that
option.

	Since no one will be able to contact me in any way, many of
asar's readers may just want to skip the rest of this article.

	I never thought what I was doing in May would lead to anything 
like this.  I found out someone wouldn't be using their account for the
rest of May. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to kill
two birds with one stone: to possibly "out" the person I was pretending
to be and to pratice my acting skills.  I swiped this other person's
Journal (only to find out later that it was just a scrapbook of ficticious
stories) and began posting.  
	
	I couldn't help but try to help you. Unlike many on this group,
you were still in a position where you could continue to be sexually
abused.  I wanted to at least try to help you out of that situation.  Little
did I know that I was being manipulated by another in my attempt to help you.

	I drove to Canada as a chauffer, but I had been purposefully
(IMO) misinformed about the purpose of the trip. I had been told that you
had already decided to leave your situation and make the return trip with us.
Halfway through the 14+ hour trip to Canada, I was finally informed that
you didn't intend to come with us, you just wanted to meet Priz. before you
went any further in any actions that he had planned.  I also was finally
told that he was the anon. admin. and knew both of our locations all
along.  I was rather tired at that point but that is no excuse for my
not turning the car around and going straight home.

	During the rather long conversation on the trip up, I got the
very distinct impression that doing anything with him would not be good for
you.  I thought I was being paranoid, but what he said and how he said
it made my skin crawl.  So, I purposefully tried to get him to say what
he was up to (while pretending to go along with it). From his own
words, I knew that life in his home (under the conditions that he planned)
would not be in your best interests.  Instead of trying to keep him 
away from you, I hoped that I could let his own words convince you to stay
away from him.

	I didn't think about how vunderable you were/are to someone
like him.  During his conversation on the road that night, he never
came out and said anything -- he seemed wary of saying what his real
intentions were.  But I could tell that if you had gone to live with
him and things had gone smoothly (if you had begun to settle down into
a semi-normal life), that he wouldn't be adverse to having sexual contact
with you.  He is incerdibly dangerous because he likes to try and "shape"
people, esp. when it comes to sexual preferences or sexual contact.
You weren't the only person he talked about Relkie.  There was another
female (posting anon) that he seemed to be interested in "helping" as
well.  He tries to get people to think that they owe him something and
that they are responsible for not letting him "make the same mistakes again"
sexually.  He always draws a similarity between any situation and one
he had sexually with a past female even when the current events are
non-sexual.  He thinks it's quite amusing to do illegal things and
not get caught.  He really revels in lying/evading police and other
government officials.

	All the wishes and "would've, should've, could've"'s in the world
will never change what happened to you.  I believe you Relkie, I have to.
what you have said about your rape (and I do think it was non-consentual
sex on your part) fits in perfectly with the person who did it. Yes,
the law in the US says innocent before proven guilty, but I don't doubt
for a second that what you have said is true.  I thought I was being
paranoid when I thought he might take advantage of you... I wish I had 
been wrong.

	All the Hail Marys and visits to confessions in the world will
never make my guilt go away.  I can't help but to feel that I could have
prevented all of this (or at least delayed the incident until a time that
you could have gotten away without harm). But I can't change what I did
or what has been done to you.  I'm sorry just won't cut it this time.  

	I'm sorry I can't come to your side now.  As I said, I'll be 
losing net access after this article is sent.  I won't have any access
to any net or email system after this gets sent.  I just happened to
come back east to visit some friends before my permanent move to the
west coast.  After all this, I can't stand to use a computer, much less
access the net again.  I acted a little too well.  Not only did I
contribute to your pain, but I helped thrown this newsgroup in chaos and
ruined the summer of the person who owned the account I used in May (hopefully
that's all the damage I did to her).

	After the trip, I found out that the material that I had been
plagerizing was ficticious.  I had been using it like a script and
improvising on occasion.  I have no idea if there was any truth in the
posts I made in May.  Now the person I was pretending to be has
to deal with some people associating her with me.  I've seen that she's
finally back to using her nickname again (she is the REAL psycho kitten, but
she doesn't post to any groups that asar readers would normally read).

	This is defiantely the last time anyone will hear from me.  I
won't be around computers for a very long time and I don't think that I
will ever post again (esp. not anon posting). Please don't try to
send any correpondance to the acct. in the header!!! I won't ever see the
message and it will probably be deleted before it's even read.  I've
really fucked up this time... the best I can do is disappear and hope that
the person I was falsely posting as doesn't have to suffer anymore
for my actions.  Relkie, there is nothing I can say or do to help you now.
Even in court (if you got that far) I would be discredited as a witness
because of my posting under a false name and account.  I don't know what
the age laws in the area of the incident were in, but I suppose you are
not considered a minor there (or they would have to arrest him for 
statutory rape).  I know it's hard to deal with proving it in court, but
by speaking up, maybe you can prevent him from doing it to someone else.


**********************************DISCLAIMER********************************
This post is being made from someone else's account.  I do not have
net access on my own or an email address. The owner of this account has
NO IDEA just what I'm posting or to where.  Please do not send any
correspondance to this account!!!  I will not have any access to the
net (or any network) after I finish posting this message.  There will
be NO WAY to contact me in any way (so don't bother trying).
****************************************************************************
 
 
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery