HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: coop7z52@bnr.ca (Rahim Pira)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Riddle?
Date: 17 Dec 92 20:58:08 GMT
Reply-To: coop7z52@bnr.ca (Rahim Pira)
Distribution: na
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd. - Ottawa, Ont.


See if you can get this one:

A man goes running one day.  He leaves home and runs straight ahead for a while and then turns left, continuing to run straight ahead.  After a while he turns left again, runs straight ahead, turns left, and runs straight ahead.  As he approaches home, he sees two men waiting for him.  Who are they ?


------------
Rahim Pira
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bernard@controls.ccd.harris.com (Ramona Bernard)
Subject: Test
Originator: bernard@rs2
Keywords: Test
Organization: Harris Controls
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 19:19:03 GMT


This is a test.  Sorry.

Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade,alt.best.of.internet
From: x92paszek@gw.wmich.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: dont read me
Date: 14 Dec 92 15:39:38 EST
Organization: Western Michigan University

Mateusz
tu sie zatrzymales
Mateusz

From: limrcd@hpsgm2.sgp.hp.com (Richard LIM)
Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1992 09:20:18 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: Cont'd - Mistaken Identity ?
Organization: HP Singapore Notes-Server
Newsgroups: rec.humor

And I thought it was Salem!

Regards
Richard Lim     "A conclusion is where you get tired of thinking"
======================================================================
E-mail:  hpsgm2.SGP.HP.COM!limrcd   Snail-mail: Hewlett-Packard S'pore
Tel:     (065)-279-2525                         (APD-ThinFilm SS/EE)
Telnet:        520-2525                         1150 Depot Road
HPDesk:  Richard Lim/HP3200/30                  Singapore 0410.

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: flink@mits.mdata.fi (Flinkman)
Subject: Where to find file containing light bulb jokes ?
Organization: ArrowSoft
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 19:19:22 GMT

	Does anyone know where can I find some kind of summary of light bulb
	jokes ? Replies via e-mail, please. Don't send me jokes, I want them
	all in one file, not n*10000 separate messages.


	Thanks. In advance.

	
--
<<-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=<<  <<=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-<<
 >>   Ari Flinkman     >>  >>   E-Mail: Flink@Mits.Mdata.Fi      >>
<<    Suomi/Finland   <<  <<            -ArrowSoft->            <<
 >>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=->>  >>-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=>>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jonathan@author.ecn.purdue.edu (Jonathan L Neuenschwander)
Subject: Re: acronyms
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: 14 Dec 92 05:25:14 GMT

sme3@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (SCOTT MATTHEW ESTRIN) writes:

[Previous attributions deleted.]

>IBM: Incredibly Bad Machine
>-- 

When IBM first released the PS/2 line, the one I heard was:

IBM: I'm Building a Macintosh


:-) :-)

Stoking the fires,

Jonathan


--
___ |Jonathan      |Internet:jonathan@mentor.cc.purdue.edu|Whom computers
|__||Neuenschwander|NeXTmail:buzz@symphony.cc.purdue.edu  |would destroy, they
|   |              |America Online:Buzz Lee               |must first drive mad
 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From:  (Dave )
Subject: Confucious Says..................................
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Calvin College
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 20:25:21 GMT

Confucious say:

"He who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with smelly finger."

Dave at Calvin

P.S. Everyone knows Mr. Sideways Smiley Face, :-) Let's meet Sideways Mr.
Bill, 
:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O "OH NO!!!!"
From: cej0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (CHARLES EDWARD JAMES)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: More Puzzle
Date: 16 Dec 92 02:27:41 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Dec14.194648.19327@bmerh85.bnr.ca>, coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr.ca (Da
vid Smith) writes:
>Jesus Christ, a Catholic Vampire, a locksmith and a dromedary enter the Chemist
's
>one Thursday afternoon to buy a package of Rothman's.  A beautiful young woman
>attempts to get the camel to lay down but fails.  She walks off in a huff.  Jes
us
>asks the clerk for some Rothman's and a 44-piece socket set.  What was the
>color of the pharmacists left elbow?
>
The answer odviously has to be 6.43!!!
-- 
Charles James                        202 Drinker
 
x80378
From: dlovely@meaddata.com (David Lovely)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Country Western Music
Date: 17 Dec 1992 01:03:22 GMT
Organization: Mead Data Central, Dayton OH
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: tteam.meaddata.com

In article <1992Dec11.114942.1@vms.ocom.okstate.edu>, adams@vms.ocom.okstate.edu writes:
|> In article <1992Dec10.204358.10464@wdl.loral.com>, Harry Salvini <hgs@wdl1.wdl.loral.com> writes:
|> > You've all heard about things that have meaning when you play music in
|> > reverse...
|> > 
|> > So,
|> > 
|> > What do you get when you play Country Western music backwards?
|> > 
|> > 
|> > Your dog comes to life,
|> > Your wife comes back to you,
|> > and your pickup truck starts.
|> 
|> You forgot a couple:
|> 
|>   You sober up,
     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|>   You get a decent job.
|> 

Actually YOU ARE STILL/ALWAYS DRUNK!

-- 
*******************************************************************************
David P. Lovely					      BOYCOTT BARBRA STREISAND!
Mead Data Central	       Don't Blame Me.  I didn't vote for Slick Willie.
Dayton, Ohio						       Vote KEMP in 96!

"Government isn't the solution to our problems, government IS the problem!"
	-Ronald W. Reagan

		NO DISCLAIMER NEEDED (Nobody claims me anyway!)
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: griska@teecs.UUCP (William Griska)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: no arms/ no legs etc.
Date: 15 Dec 92 12:51:11 GMT
Organization: Litton Systems, Toronto ONT

What do you call a guy with no arms/legs in the desert?
------Sandy

Same guy in the desert woth no clothes on?
------Bernnie[A[C[C[C[C[C[C[C[C[C[C[C[i[B

~.

[A[A[C~.


[A[A[A[C~[B.
[A[C[[~.

[A[A[C"."

[A[A[C[C~.
[A[C.

[A[A[.
From: doug.hewko@synapse.org (Doug Hewko) 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: ACCOUNTING JOKES
Date: 17 Dec 92 10:04:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: SYNAPSE BBS - GATINEAU, QUEBEC - 819-561-4321
Reply-To: doug.hewko@synapse.org (Doug Hewko) 

To: panton@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (Thomas panton)

TP.hello out there.  i was wondering if anyone out there has some good
  .accountant jokes.  i myself am an accounting grad student, which may be
  .considerred a joke by some.  i appreciate any jokes.  thanks in advance.

Accounting jokes are extremely easy to get since accountants can't 
deal with reality unlike the finance people! <place flame bait here> 

A man is touring the country while on vacation and passes through a 
small rural town.  In this town he passes a General Store and notices 
a sign outside which read "Brains for Sale".  Curious, the man decides 
to stop and see what this is about.

As he enters the store, he notices three large jars filled with 
brains, each with different prices.  The first jar that he saw was 
labeled "Politicians" and priced at $1 a kilogram.  The second jar was 
labeled "Economists" and priced at $5 a kilogram.  The man shrugged and 
looked at the third jar.  This jar was labeled "Accountants" and priced 
at $50,000 a kilogram.

The man was puzzled and went to the store clerk. 

"Why are the price of accountants' brains so high when compared to the 
other brains?", asked the tourist.

The clerk responded by asking, "Do you know how many accountants we 
have to kill to get one kilogram of brains?" 

               Doug
---
 . 1st 1.02b #574 . "Wackyland! Home, Surreal Home!" -- Gogo Dodo, TTA
From: singhai@freya.cs.umass.edu (Sharad Singhai)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Lawyer joke
Date: 20 Dec 92 18:29:35 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of Massachusetts at Amherst


Malborn sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first
or the terrible news?" the lawyer said.

"Give me the bad news first."

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."

"That's the bad news?" aslked Malborn incredulously. "I can't wait to
hear the terrible news."

"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."


--

---------------------------+----------------------------------------------
-- Sharad Singhai          |
singhai@cs.umass.edu       |   If swimming is good for shape, then
413-665-4340 (Apt)         |   why do the whales look like the way they do?
413-545-3616 (Off)         |
---------------------------+----------------------------------------------
From: con.sieben@canrem.com (con sieben)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: test
Date: 20 Dec 92 19:06:44 GMT
Reply-To: "con sieben" <con.sieben@canrem.com>
Distribution: rec
Organization: Canada Remote Systems

> >>>>>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
> >>>>>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
> >>>>>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
> >>>>>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
> >>>>>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
> >>>>> This is starting to make me snore.
> >>>>is this the rec.humor people adore?
> >>>Or is it porn,which is hard core.?
> >>Haven't when been through all this before?
> >No, have some BEER and let me pour!
> Why have one when we can have four!
AP>Please Mr.CHARLES EDWARD JAMES- not more!
AP>Post I did,a little before,
AP>(about an hour before,not more..
AP>oh, the time difference-it makes me roar!)
AP>requesting that that be the final score.
AP>that did you miss or plain ignore?
AP>And now, bear me, without rancour,
AP>and pray,please dont be sore,
AP>that from you I snatch the floor,
AP>to make, as I hoped before,
AP>(trying, hoping not to spill blood and gore)
AP>a fervent plea,to all once more,
AP>to not make this rec.humor.bore.
AP>and this to progeny,thro' time's pore:
AP>thus folks, in the days of yore,
AP>we sat and spun folklore.
AP>and no, I shall not contribute anymore,
AP>lest people think me a boar,
AP>to hog the space and bore.
Is this in Iambic Pentamatore?

AP>---
AP> * PCB/UseNet Gateway from Sparkware #1


AP>yHEADER:USENET

AP>Newsgroups: rec.humor
AP>Path: dosgate!canrem!uunet.ca!uunet!think.com!rpi!news.ans.net!cmcl2!liu!akp
AP>From: akp@cns.nyu.edu (Prashanth Kumar A.K.,Rm 1010)
AP>Subject: Re: Test
AP>Message-ID: <BzID0r.1n2@cmcl2.nyu.edu>
AP>Sender: notes@cmcl2.nyu.edu (Notes Person)
AP>Nntp-Posting-Host: liu.cns.nyu.edu
AP>Reply-To: akp@cns.nyu.edu
AP>Organization: New York University
AP>References: <1992Dec19.062934.133234@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>
AP>Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 13:19:38 GMT
AP>Lines: 53

                          Con Sieben, CRS Toronto
---
 ~ DeLuxe} 1.12 #8534 ~ Trapped in a world he didn't create. (H.T.D.)
--
Canada Remote Systems  - Toronto, Ontario
World's Largest PCBOARD System - 416-629-7000/629-7044
From: nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Nothing
Date: 16 Dec 92 10:50:28 -0600
Organization: Memphis State University

In article <sf_HAMK00WBO85kwk4@andrew.cmu.edu>, Sam Swett <ssbc+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>    No humorous material contained in this message.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> --------------
> Sam Swett
> Carnegie Mellon University
> ssbc+@andrew.cmu.edu
>

Just testing , hunh?!

oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo
oo1oo     Binary 4s all around.  And a "bit-bird" to you too!     oo1oo
oo1oo   ------------------------------------------------------    oo1oo
oo1oo    Some people don't know the difference between a grin     oo1oo
oo1oo    and a grimace.  /s/Dennis (nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu)    oo1oo
oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Where do jokes get started?
Date: 14 Dec 92 19:00:13 GMT
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

dsohl@spock.uucp (Daniel Sohl) writes:

> >There are so many jokes out there that I have heard from a variety of
> >different people in different parts of the country.  The question is,
> >who makes up these old jokes?  Does the stork bring them?  Are they
> >all a matter of the collective conscience?  Is there a joke God?  What
> >up?
> 

There is actually a computer program that has 10,000 Milton Berle Jokes.

--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
From: bailey@girtab.usc.edu (Benjamin Bailey)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: baby jokes if u please.
Date: 18 Dec 1992 04:10:44 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: girtab.usc.edu

In article <queue.724656153@du139-201.cc.iastate.edu> queue@iastate.edu (Rob Ludwick) writes:
>In <Bz7t5E.DK8@unix.amherst.edu> emstewar@unix.amherst.edu (EMILY MAUREEN STEWART) writes:
>
>>What's red and squirms in the corner?
>>A baby playing with a razor blade.
>
>>How do you make a dead baby float?
>>One scoop of ice cream and one scoop of dead baby.
>
>What's more disgusting than a dead baby?
>A garbage can of dead babies.
>
>What's more disgusting than that?
>One eating it's way to the top.
>
>
>
What's even more disgusting than that?
He/she made it.


What's even *more* disgusting than that?
He/she went back for seconds.



BBB
From: dmc@sjfc.UUCP (Cass Dan)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Test
Keywords: None
Date: 13 Dec 92 21:42:03 GMT
Reply-To: dmc@sjfc.UUCP (Cass Dan)
Organization: Saint John Fisher College, Rochester, NY

In article <ByvLyF.MBt@news.ucs.mun.ca> jfarrell@morgan.ucs.mun.ca (James Farrell) writes:
>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron Huang) writes:
>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (Vilas Khare) writes:
>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
>That's not very nice. You're just being sore.
Your dad's a computer. Your mom is a whore.


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: petitc@vccnw01.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: New Answers to an Old Question
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 04:00:07 GMT

		Answers to "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?"
				(1992 version)

1.	To get away from the meltdown.

2.	To do the chicken on the other side.

3.	So it could make a movie about its journey.

4.	To escape from Col. Sanders.

5.	So it could get to the 'non-smoking' section.

6.	To qualify for a new game show---"Highway Hijinx".

7.	To escape from creditors.

8.	So it could get a letter from Ed McMahon.

9.	Because the grass is greener on the other side.

10.	To escape from the ax murderer.



-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: villard@venus.cc.hollandc.pe.ca (Excuse me sir...What does this core meltdown light mean)
Subject: Confucious saying
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Holland College - Charlottetown PEI
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 19:28:00 GMT

Could some one please mail me a complete listing of confucious (sp) 
type saying. I would be forever grateful.

Kent
villard@venus.cc.hollandc.pe.ca

Newsgroups: rec.humor,talk.bizarre
From: mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu (John Mechalas)
Subject: Re: Plagarism?
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 14:48:13 GMT

In article <1992Dec14.124835.696@spider.co.uk> andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon) writes:
>In article <1992Dec10.212420.5826@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>>In alt.tasteless.jokes, csg188@cch.coventry.ac.uk (MR X) writes:
>>                                                   ^^^^^
>>>Yep! Another great American war.... SOMALIA ! 
>>> Lets see what each side has...
>>>
>>>America
>>>~~~~~~~
>>>Troops:-
>>>   	1,800 U.S.Marines   In 1st wave to secure Baideo Airport & Mogadishu
>>>	      port.
>>>
>>>Somalia
>>>~~~~~~~
>>>
>>>   2 part time soldiers who work alternate weekends (one of them blind)
>>>   1 gun
>>>   0 bullets (although they hope to get one by next Wednesday)
>>>   1 vicious guide dog (belonging to the blind soldier)
>>>     rumoured to give a nasty bite !
>>
>>(further tripe deleted. i mean, if there werent a shitload of guns in
>>somalia, why the fuck would the us go in?)
>
>Errrmmm. Cos' they're still pissed off about Vietnam and they want to show the
>world that they can beat a bunch of un-trained natives ?
>
>Maybe I'll cross post this to rec.humor. I love flame mail.
>    |      Andy  Cannon      | From a Vision of Reality,        |
>    |  andrewc@spider.co.uk  | And Still the Moon......         |
                     ^^^^^^^^^
One cheap shot deserves another....

   Hey Andy, why don't you tell us about the Falkland Islands?



-- 
John Mechalas                      | If you think my opinions are Purdue's, then
mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu      |      you vastly overestimate my importance.
Purdue University Computing Center |             Help put a ban on censorship :)
General Consulting                 |                       #include disclaimer.h
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: petitc@vccsouth02.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: blonde joke
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 04:10:43 GMT

gambrose@engr.UVic.CA (Gene  Ambrose) writes:

>what do you call six blondes in a Volkswagen?

>Farfrumthinken.

  Oh? You want a NASTY blonde joke?

  What do you call blondes who dye their hair red?














  Experimenters with artifical intelligence.

-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle)
Subject: Re: Blonde jokes
Keywords: blonde jokes
Organization: Johns Hopkins University
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:53:14 GMT

lapradbj@craft.camp.clarkson.edu (Billie-Jo Laprade) writes:

>YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE!!!  You obviously have nothing better 
>to do with yourself.  Get a life!!!!!!!

Q: What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?

A: B-J
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rhalse20@ursa.calvin.edu (Rob Halsey)
Subject: Clinton Joke (READ THIS!!)
Organization: Calvin College
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 04:09:41 GMT

What do a dozen roses and Bill Clinton's tongue have in common?

   *They both smell like flowers*

--
* rhalse20@calvin.edu is...* -OVERHEARD AND QUOTABLE- * "So get out there
Rob Halsey (A.K.A. Trebor) *  "Bend over, bend over,  *  and rock, and
Calvin College  Phi 33     *  'cuz "Slick Willie" is  *  ROLL THE BONES!"
Grand Rapids, MI 49546     *  takin' over!!!"         *        -Rush
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: aldavi01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu (Arlie Davis)
Subject: Re: Star Trek Ascii Pics
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 02:20:15 GMT
Reply-To: Arlie Davis <aldavi01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu>
Organization: University of Louisville

In <910424m.25.724085562@ace.acadiau.ca> 910424m@ace.acadiau.ca (GREGORY DEAN MYERS) writes:

> Could someone post or send me Ascii pic of spock off of star trek

If anyone can find a certain line printer ASCII drawing of Spock, which is 
particularly huge (it is three 132-column carriages wide!), of Spock standing
in front of the scanners on the episode where the two planets wage war by
computer, I would be eternally grateful.

Thanks much...
-- 
lrwx------   1 aldavi01 emacsstu       9 Jun  6 12:43 .signature -> /dev/null
From: mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu (John Mechalas)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Plagarism?
Date: 15 Dec 92 00:33:10 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center

In article <8123@lib.tmc.edu> drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez) writes:
>In article <Bz97sE.57J@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu
>(John Mechalas) writes:
>>   Hey Andy, why don't you tell us about the Falkland Islands?
>
>Well, I'm not Andy, but...
>
>"A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the
>Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a mervclous new game.  Noting
>that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a
>beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly along it at the water's edge.
> Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their heads in unison watching the planes
>go by, and when the pilots turn around and fly back, the birds turn their heads
>in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. 
>Then, the paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
>colony and overfly it.  Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins fall
>over gently onto their backs".

I remember reading about this in the late "Bloom County".  And you thought 
comics were a waste of time!  ;)

-- 
John Mechalas                      | If you think my opinions are Purdue's, then
mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu      |      you vastly overestimate my importance.
Purdue University Computing Center |             Help put a ban on censorship :)
General Consulting                 |                       #include disclaimer.h
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kieffer@spf.trw.com (Robert Kieffer)
Subject: Re: >> Other ways to say vomit..
Organization: TRW Inc., Redondo Beach, CA
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 17:57:52 GMT

In article <9235010.3928@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU> sead@mundoe.maths.mu.OZ.AU  
(Sead Mujushi) writes:
> In article <jonathan.724311093@author.ecn.purdue.edu>  
jonathan@author.ecn.purdue.edu (Jonathan L Neuenschwander) writes:
> >markc@compnews.co.uk (Mark Cooper) writes:
> >>One culled from a Mike Harding song about Australia...
> >>Going for a groan down the white telephone...
> >Did anyone say spewing?
> >Then there's:
> >Bazooka barf (particulary nasty.  :-)
> >Roaring the rude arc.
> >
> >Jonathan
> 
> It might have been already posted but how about ...
> 
> Crying Ruth (think about it 8^)
>                                ,,,

"Jet scream"... my college nickname.
From: hjiwa@gruc19.nor.chevron.com (Jeff Wang)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: What TV teaches us...
Date: 12 Dec 92 17:30:59 GMT
Organization: Chevron Petroleum Technology Company
Disclaimer: the usual

garrett@Ingres.COM (REACH OUT AND GREP SOMEONE) writes:

[ 39 educational aspects of watching television deleted ]

|> 40) Nobody on TV has time to watch TV (except for Al Bundy and the Simpsons).

41) Good guys never have to reload their six-shooters; bad guys always run out
		of bullets when they're about to shoot the good guy at point-blank range.

42) The most important qualities men and women look for in each other are the
		absence of bad breath, underarm perspiration, and dandruff.

43) Monsters are best hunted down when everyone spreads out and goes out alone
		instead of in groups.

44) You don't have to know how to act to be an actor or actress.

45) All good guys are former professional race car drivers, which allows them
		to catch the bad guys in their cars.

46) Football referees favor the home-field team when making calls.

47) Gruesome murders always occur at night.

-- 
 #====}==) #===(==}  #====}==) #===(==}  {==)===# (=={====#  {==)===# (=={====#
>> Jeff Wang                             Net   : hjiwa@gruc19.nor.chevron.com <<
>> Chevron Petroleum Technology Company  Profs : hjiwa (hovmb)                <<
>> Geophysical/Geological Applications   Phone : (504) 592-6162               <<
>> 935 Gravier Street, Room 1006         Fax   : (504) 592-6958               <<
>> New Orleans, Louisiana 70112          Valeo,vales. Die dulci fruimini!! :) <<
 #===(==}      What if no one ever asked a hypothetical question?      {==)===#