From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Abuse and Homosexuality
Date: 8 Oct 92 19:15:15 GMT
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS





***WARNING***SPOILER***




Contains blatent talking about sex with both sexes.






In article <BvoGsC.GJL@twwells.com>, anon-1267@twwells.com (Brian) writes:
>They say it's generally a good idea to read a newsgroup for a
>couple of months before posting.  I'm violating that suggestion;
>I haven't been here long.  If the subject of my post is 1) not
>germane to what's typically discussed here, 2) irritating to you
>(for reasons that will be clear shortly) or 3) similar or identical
>to something that you've seen dealt with often enough in the past
>that you're sick of it, please feel free to either ignore this or
>tell me I should stop typing and be quiet.  

Sorry to dissapoint you, but we won't be saying that here... 8^)

>The subject line says "Abuse and Homosexuality".  I'm more
>concerned about the latter than the former.
>
>Was I abused?  Sure.  I was 10; he was a 16-yr-old neighbor. 
>Things could've been a lot worse than they were.  I don't
>remember how long it went on; it probably lasted only two or
>three months.  I don't think this is a big problem in my life;
>it happened 18 years ago.  It isn't something I think about a
>lot. I honestly can't say whether or not it has any effect on
>who I am today.  But.  There are some things in my life which may
>or may not be related to it.  The most important one is Part II of
>the title above.
>  
>I'm basically, mostly, gay.  And _that_ is why I'm posting this
>anonymously.  I am not exactly intending to "blame" this on the
>neighbor guy...some of you reading this will no doubt reject that
>notion in its entirety, since you believe one's sexuality is
>biologically, rather than environmentally, determined.  Still,
>there is a correlation between abuse and gayness.  The casuality is
>another question. Like I said, I'm not trying to say this is the
>only reason I'm this way.

Well, sorry to dissapoint you again, but some of us beleive that the
enviornment *CAN* have an effect as well.  But, I also (even more firmly)
beleive that if someone wants to be gay, that's there right to do so.

>So why am I throwing this out for 15,000 people to read?  Be-
>cause I don't want to be gay.  I'm not 100%, but I'm real close
>(maybe 80-90%).  To some of you, this may sound like tragicomic
>tripe.  That's ok.  If so, just disregard.  But I thought there
>might be others like me reading this newsgroup. If so, and if you
>have any ideas at all that might help, please let me know.  Even if
>you're willing to just talk about this, please e-mail something
>off.  I'd like to communicate with someone who knows what this is
>like.

It's not a "tragicomic tripe" beleive it or not...  And I do understand this
one.  I would like to be purely bi-sexual in practice and enjoy being with men,
but I cannot.  I've tried repeatedly, but I just don't have the physical
responces...  (In the rational part of my mind, it doesn't matter which sex the
person is, and I should be able to enjoy both.  (Okay, I haven't tried anal sex
w/ a female, and only once with a male.  But the physical sensation of, say, a
blowjob, is the same no matter which sex is performing the act.  And I can't
enjoy it nearly as much with another man, and I sometimes want to.))

I don't have any great words of wisdom or advice, except to say you're not
alone out there...

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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery