HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: that'd be in the butt, bob
Date: 23 Jul 92 11:14:48 GMT
Reply-To: warren@nysernet.org
Organization: Mail to News Gateway at Wang Labs

In <1992Jul21.212142.29839@pony.Ingres.COM> rogerl@Ingres.COM (Roger Leuthner) writes:

>Tell this to a courtroom where there is a witness to a murder.

With some work this, too, could be an AFU motto.
-- 
/|/-\/-\       In real life, the Vice President chastises Murphey Brown
 |__/__/_/     for her morals.  Bill Clinton plays the sax on "Arsenio
 |warren@      Hall."  Though "Batman Returns" is fiction, it's not too
/ nysernet.org much stranger than truth - Caryn James, The New York Times
From: salantel@dssv01.crd.ge.com (E. L. Salant)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Date: 21 Jul 92 19:54:57 GMT
Reply-To: salantel@wsqtb9.crd.ge.com
Organization: GE Corporate R&D Center

>lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:
>: 
>: Anyone can follow this with equivalent science abuse in ads.

>A year ago, large expensive ads were taken out in Parade Magazine and
>the Enquirer touting a new TV antenna.  The thing had rabbit ears and
>a UHF loop, but the striking feature was a small plastic mock-up of a
>satellite dish.  The ads strongly implied without ever actually
>stating that the dish was capable of picking up satellite signals.
>The copy included some real gems, such as:

>No need for a cable converter box!
>No need for a satellite dish!
>Works like a regular "rabbit ears" antenna!
>Picks up most channels from your area!
>ACTUALLY PULLS SIGNALS RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR!

You're forgetting the best line to the ad which proudly proclaimed
"A marketing breakthrough!"
Talk about truth in advertising.  That ad was great.

==============================================================================
Eliot (Mine works great) Salant

==============================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: matt@cray.com (Matthew Marchese)
Subject: Re: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 23 Jul 92 03:34:48 CDT

In article <brtlc6.mv5@wang.com> dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong) writes:
>smith@panther.adelphi.edu (Jim Smith) writes:
>
>>In article <3466@blue.cis.pitt.edu.UUCP> tjw@vms.cis.pitt.edu (TJ Wood) writes:
>
>>>In article <1992Jul21.050353.16352@walter.cray.com>, matt@cray.com (Matthew Marchese) writes:
>
>>>> I came across a piece titled, "Stooge's Wives". In it one of Curly's wives
>>>> is portrayed in an interview as claiming that Curly's trademark cry of,
>>>> "WooWoo" originated during the sex-act as the aforementioned Stooge
>>>> acheived orgasm. 
>
Somebody, a few posts back in this thread asked for the name of the wife
quoted in the piece. It was Elaine. In the interest of completeness here
is the whole quote from "Stooge Women":

	"He was insecure because of his weight. I think he compensated
	 because of that. He was very loving in the bedroom. The only
	 odd thing was--at the moment of climax, he'd throw his head
	 back and go "Woo! Woo! Woo!" I think that's where he got it
	 for the act. He was real good in the garden, too."


*******************************************************************************
*  "Don't just sit there like a bump on a log!..ROCK! ROCK!!" - Daffy Duck    *
*******************************************************************************
Matt Marchese	    The opinions expressed here are not those of my employer, *
Cray Research  	    my wife, my church, or myself...But they are the opinions *
DKRZ                of Elvis as revealed to me through the medium of my pet   *
Hamburg, Germany    hamster, Lee Harvey Oswald...                             *
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: catching bullets with the teeth
From: joltes@husc10.harvard.edu (Richard Joltes)
Date: 31 Jul 92 11:42:10 EDT
Organization: Harvard University Science Center

salantel@wsqtb9.crd.ge.com writes:

>I heard from coworkers, that on tv they showed a man who could 
>catch a bullet fired from a gun with his teeth.  Supposedly the
>gun was statically mounted and carefully aimed, and the bullet 
>would pass through things like a piece of paper or a glass pane
>to prove it was no sleight of hand.

Sounds like an old episode of "The Beverly Hillbillies" or "Daniel Boone"
to me.  There was a scene in one of these shows where a character faked 
catching a bullet in his mouth to scare away some baddies...

If anyone could *really* do this I'd suspect that he'd been fitted with a
set of steel teeth and a shock-absorbant skull...and that he'd had lots of
plastic surgery to cover scars on his face caused by early practice rounds.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dick "damn, missed again!" Joltes			joltes@husc.harvard.edu
Hardware & Networking Manager, Computer Services 	joltes@husc.bitnet 
Harvard University Science Center

"Mind you, not as bad as the night Archie Pettigrew ate some
sheep's testicles for a bet...God, that bloody sheep kicked him..."
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:19821 comp.admin.policy:923
From: nasadk@vccsouth24.its.rpi.edu (Kristopher Martin Nasadowski)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,comp.admin.policy
Subject: Re:    Craid Shergold & Time Wasting
Date: 26 Jul 92 15:27:26 GMT
Article-I.D.: rpi.1bxxx!a
Reply-To: nasadk@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.

In article <92206.191855CMURRAY@auvm.american.edu>, <CMURRAY@auvm.american.edu> writes:
|> However, if possible, I would appreciate
|> any of your thoughts about the following
|> questions:
|> 
|> 1.  If you are at work and reading notices
|> do you feel any remorse abour wasting
|> your employers time reading these notices.

Being a college student, this spares me from important things, like studies.
I'm of the five, no six, no seven year plan here.

|> 
|> 2.  HDoes anyone know how long the Craig
|> Shergold story has been going on?

Look in the a.f.u FAQ for the answer to that. It's posted monthly, or so I hear.
My guess is about 10 years or so.

BTW - Did you send Craig a card yet?

Nazman
<nasadk@rpi.edu>

"comp.admin.policy?!?! What newsgroup is that?"
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jvmg9796@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Doc)
Subject: Re: Spikes of death (Was: catching bullets with the teeth
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 18:48:42 GMT

hucke@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Matt Hucke) writes:

>It was in one of the FACES OF DEATH movies... the fourth one, I think.

yup, thats where I saw it. :P  Did you see that movie Matt?  I could tell
gross stories for hours from that one....how about the guy that got drawn
and quartered?  Or the girl at the end?  That scene was ABSOLUTELY the most
horrible thing Ive ever seen.


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: grimjack@milton.u.washington.edu (Leslie Basel)
Subject: Re: NetNews/CD - USENET News Available
Keywords: locksmith door
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 06:29:55 GMT

>foks could just turn the disks over by hand.
>
>The reasons for CD's having one side are, as I said, mostly marketing
>reasons.
>
>Anyway, the cost of making new CD's is now less than the cost of making
>new records.  I haven't seen many CD's in the $1.99 cutout bins, though.
>
>phil
>
>
My question is: would they reverse the drive to play the other side? 
I mean if they played one side then played the other side without changing
the direction the motor was turning, you couldn't play the 2nd side on a 
<uh> todays kinda machine.  Hey they could force everyone to have to buy 
a new machine~!!

Rodger "obsolescence, what a concept" Coghlan


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dvand@ctp.com (Derek Vandivere)
Subject: Re: Organ muggers
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 21:16:05 GMT
Organization: Cambridge Technology Partners

In article <zlsiida.977@fs1.mcc.ac.uk> zlsiida@fs1.mcc.ac.uk (dave budd) writes:
>the urban legend about people being mugged for their organs was heard in 
>Manchester UK on or about Tuesday 14th July 1992
>"They took a kidney"
>
Just to corroborate, I recall a cover story in _The Economist_ while flying
the USAir shuttle a few months ago (yes, some Merkins read _The Economist_)
which described the same problem.  Evidently, it's mostly poor 3rd worlder
types who get cut.

					-dersk

-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Derek A. Vandivere           |dvand@ctp.com|      This space unintentionally |
|Cambridge Technology Partners|(617)349-1278|            left blank.          |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:20031 rec.arts.books:13379 rec.arts.sf.misc:2270 rec.humor:24798
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.books,rec.arts.sf.misc,rec.humor
Subject: Re: Mandatory negatives (was Re: Agnostics and Athiests)
From: <MDSQC@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Date: Wednesday, 29 Jul 1992 13:22:18 EDT
 ul26.232745.23523@news.columbia.edu><1992Jul29.010559.25154@news.columbia.edu>
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center

Although I don't reccomend George Carlin as a humorist, he does have a good
bit about "Shell Shock" on his Parental Somethingorother tape.

-- Sal
From: frey@alfheim.actrix.gen.nz (Bruce Clement)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Anyone heard this one? New UL?
Distribution: world
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 14:07:08 GMT
Organization: Private System

kja2192@tamsun.tamu.edu writes in article <1992Jul22.190029.2068@tamsun.tamu.edu>:
>  Apparently this FOAF was
> making love to his wife (doggie style) and the cat was watching 
> on the bed from behind.  Watching the man's balls sway back &
> forth got the cat's attention and it swatted at his balls.  The
> man, startled -- obviously, thrust forward and put his wife's head
> through the headboard of the bed.
> 
> I though this to be funny and plausable, I guess, 

A similiar thing happened to me once in '78-'79, only we were doing *it*
in the missionary position, it was claws in my buttocks, and my partner
suffered no damage (nor did I, except to my pride).

The cat in question was hardly more than a kitten & still had that playful
outlook on life.

BTW: I'm aware that actual happenings don't invalidate UL's, but I 
wonder if this mightn't be a fairly common happening ... after all, who
shuts the bedroom door against the cat (before it happens the first 
time, that is)?

--
Bruce Clement    (frey@alfheim.welly.gen.nz   Waffle 1.64, 
                  frey@alfheim.actrix.gen.nz  SNEWS/2,  UUPC 1.11q)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dvand@ctp.com (Derek Vandivere)
Subject: Re: Right-Left
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 14:59:23 GMT
Organization: Cambridge Technology Partners

Not to waste bandwidth or anything (someone may already have mentioned
this), but it is indeed legal to turn left on red after stop in
Massachusetts (or at least in Boston).  This probably should not
surprise any of you who have ever actually driven in Boston.

Caveat - It's only legal if you're turning from one one-way street
to another.  And everyone gets really pissed if you turn the felt
things on the curb the other way around.

				-dersk

-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Derek A. Vandivere           |dvand@ctp.com|      This space unintentionally |
|Cambridge Technology Partners|(617)349-1278|            left blank.          |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis)
Subject: Re: generic drugs
Keywords: first there is a mountain
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 12:26:29 GMT
Organization: Loose Affiliation of Millionaires and Billionaires and Baby

dayrton@eagle.wesleyan.edu writes:

>Here's a good one: a study about a decade ago found no advantage to combining
>drugs like codeine or oxycodone with aspirin or acetominophen.  Why take two
>drugs when you only need one?
>
A doctor friend of mine told me that codeine is a Very Poor pain reliever.
They put the Tylenol in Tylenol-3 to provide some pain relief. The codeine
is in there, I imagine, as a tiny bit of psychological hand holding. That
and to provide you with all of the nausea and constipation that a free,
tax-paying, registered voter could want.
-- 
Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu> Repeat after me:
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: hallam@zeus02.desy.de (Phillip M. Hallam-Baker)
Subject: Re: How many ways to make a Whopper<r>?
Reply-To: hallam@zeus02.desy.de
Organization: DESY ZEUS Central Data Acquisition
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 22:42:07 GMT

In article <BrptMp.G0H@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, jvmg9796@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu
(Doc) writes:

|>n9020351@henson.cc.wwu.edu (James Douglas Del-Vecchio) writes:
|>
|>>2,147,483,648.   A girl I worked with once told me her other job was at
|>>McDonalds (or BK? this was years ago), but she wouldn't eat there
|>>because there was a cook there who spit chewy mucous-flaps on the buns
|>>and the burgers whenever he was not happy about having to work late or 
|>>what have you.  I was horrified.  She never ratted on him either, so it
|>>went on for years as far as I know.  I told everyone I knew not to
|>eat there.
|>
|>Ive heard stories (UL's?) about employees doing worse things than that
|>to 
|>your food in fast food places.  Like, wiping the buns on their
|>armpits.
|>I believe it too.  What do you expect from high school kids who are
|>getting
|>paid minimum wage?

I feel that it is now inevitable that someone tell the story about the
curry which had three different peoples semen in it.


Phill Hallam-Baker
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: mikkelson@breakr.enet.dec.com (snopes)
Subject: Re: Sanity
Organization: Salivation Army
Date: 22 JUL 92 12:36:47    


In article <1992Jul21.175314.14659@news.cs.brandeis.edu>, 
  st890270@pip.cc.brandeis.edu (LUCIFER) writes...

>I have heard of how a couple of Psych Grad students decided to see how long
>it would take a mental hospital to determine that they were not insane, once
>they were committed. To this end, they fake the symptoms of schizophrenia (sp)
>and are commited. Once in, they act perfectly normal. The institution does
>not deem them sane. They finally get out 6 monthes later, after several
>friends come forward to tell the hospital that it was an experiment.

>my question is, is this true?

I doubt it.  Contrary to most people's perceptions of psychiatric hospitals,
they aren't allowed to lock people up as "loonies" until they get around to
declaring them sane.  A hospital can only hold you for 72 hours, if they have
reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others.  After that 72-hour
period, they cannot hold you involuntarily without periodically appearing
before some type of hearing and demonstrating that you remain a danger.  If 
the students acted "perfectly normal" after arriving and did not deliberately
try to remain hospitalized, it is highly unlikely that they could have been
kept involuntarily for six months.  (Of course, this *could* have happened many
years ago, when the rules were different.)

 - snopes

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|"[Disney's machine] has placed a Mickey Mouse hat on every little developing |
| personality in America.  As capitalism, it is a work of genius; as culture, |
| it is mostly a horror."   --   Richard Schickel, "The Disney Version"       |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  David P. Mikkelson   Digital Equipment Corporation   Culver City, CA  USA  |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: mike_p@cheshire.oxy.edu (Michael John Petterson)
Subject: Barefoot in the park, or anywhere else...
Organization: Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA.  USA
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 15:54:38 GMT

Here is a topic not in the FAQ that struck me as never being proven completely
in my mind.  

In science classes across the U.S. (perhaps abroad as well), teachers are
teaching something along the lines that if one goes barefoot, some tiny worm
will shoot up you heel into your stomach and probably kill you. (Ok, so I'm
paraphrasing)

I believe this is simply a plot to keep me in shoes (it'll never work!),
however many of my friends swear this is true "because my science teacher said
so".  My science teacher also taught me I'm related to monkeys (JOKE--for the 
humor-impaired).

E-mail me or follow-up.

Mike "(think I can use a few more parentheses)" Petterson
mike_p@cheshire.oxy.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis)
Subject: Re: Anyone heard this one? New UL?
Keywords: This wouldn't have happened if you used Velcro.
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 13:52:00 GMT
Organization: Loose Affiliation of Millionaires and Billionaires and Baby

Terry Chan writes:

   [good summation of nudeness pranks, animals, and injury deleted]

I'm sure I read a story last year (here? my mind is a sieve) about a
couple who were engaged in some kind of sex play where the wife was
tied to the bedstead and the husband had some dumb thing or another
put him out of commission. A couple of days of screaming for help
and a lifetime of cringing at the sight of rope followed for the woman.

I could have read it here, but I believe it was in the local paper. 

[Not as good a story w/o the cold nose in netherland but I believe it
is supposed to have actually happened.]

-- 
Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu> Older than before.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: 13r43@math.ucrf.edu
Subject: Re: Do the Hokey-Pokey
Organization: McGill University
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 20:58:08 GMT

In article <l7g8reINNahq@male.EBay.Sun.COM> jimj@cleanplate.EBay.Sun.COM (James D. Jones) writes:
> When I was in kindergarten and first grade (early '60s), kids in the first
> couple of school grades had to learn a rather brain-dead dance called
> the Hokey-Pokey for the annual May Day dances at the school.  Just about
> anybody can do the Hokey-Pokey, because you do it to a record that cues you on
> every move, i.e.
>  
> Put your left foot in
> Pull your left foot in
> Put your left foot in
> and you shake it all about
> You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around
> That what it's all about.
> 
> 
> 
> Seeing it now reminds me that it's still the silliest dance on the face of the
> earth.  So why this incredible staying power?  Are they still hokey-pokeying
> elsewhere out there in America?  Has the Hokey-Pokey spread to Europe by
> now?  Are there hokey-pokey sightings in Australia?  How far back in time
> does this vile conspiracy  go? Anyone know the origins?
> 
> Jim (I _don't_ hokey-pokey) Jones

We used to do it in school in England also, at least back in the '60's.
From: bugs002@bugs.mty.itesm.mx (Ing. Andrew Stevens)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Corona and Lime
Date: 24 Jul 92 23:44:33 GMT

zk@coos.dartmouth.edu (Generator) writes:

>lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson) writes:

>>}No.  The reason Mexicans use LIMES (not lemons) with their beer is to
>>}clean the drinking surface.  In Mexico, one wipes the surface of a beer
>>}can or the mouth of the bottle with the lime to clean it (you *wouldn't*
>>}do it with the water there, would you?) before drinking.  The lime is 
>>}then discarded and the beer consumed.
>>}

>Well, when I was living in Mexico, I heard that the reason for putting a
>lime in the beer was to help kill the after taste. I have tried it and
>it does seem to produce these effects. Though I would say that the
>killing of the after taste is probably secondary to cleaning the surface
>since you really don't want to drink the water. So to the original
>question of whether there is truth in the above...yes, it is true. 

No, limes are most certainly NOT used to clean surfaces before drinking.
If you think the bottle of can may not be completely aseptic, you use a
napkin, or send it back. Lemons (or limes) are not generally served with
beer in Mexico, at any rate not with most beers. The only beer you will
get with a slice of lemon (or lime, more about that later) unasked is
Tecate (not Corona, generally thought of as a wimp beer, fine if you've
got to get back to work later).

By the way, the only place in the entire United States of Mexico (the
official name) where the natives don't drink water form the taps - that
I know of - is around Torreon, Coahuila, because mineral deposits make
the arsenic (!) level of the water unsafe for long periods of time.

About lemons/limes, I've been told that what we think of as lemons and
limes is the opposite of what is held true in the USA. 'Round here,
lemons (limones) are little things, about the size of small plums, thin
skinned and less bitter and more tart than limes (limas) which are
bigger - the size of small oranges - and thick skinned. 


Andrew

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.books,rec.arts.sf.misc,rec.humor
From: tammy@ms-1.gvl.unisys.com (Tammy Draper)
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Organization: Unisys Defense Systems, Great Valley Labs, Paoli, Pa
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 19:17:42 GMT

>>Regards,
>
>>rafem
>
>   Puh-lease!  Don't label yourself with the name the religious nuts give 
>you!  Anyone who decides to be undecided about religion is a FREETHINKER!
>
>(Personally I prefer this because it's a sideways insult to the religious 
>nuts. (Hi god!).  Implies their thinking isn't.)
>
>Halcyon
>
>"It is a sin to believe evil of others; but seldom a mistake."

  Let's make things even more complicated.  I say we start referring to 
  agnostics and atheists in a politically correct manner.  An atheist is 
  now one who is 'deity deficient' and an agnostic is simply 'monotheistically 
  challenged'.


  Tammy

  ObDefinition:  I was told (by rec.humor, I think) that an atheist doesn't 
		 believe in any God and an agnostic is just a chicken-shit 
		 atheist.  

*******************************************************************************
*  Yes, I work for Unisys Defense.  I am currently defending my chocolate.    *
*******************************************************************************
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:19938 rec.humor:24690 rec.arts.books:13244
From: mikeu@dinar.sbi.COM (Michael Urbanski)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.humor,rec.arts.books
Subject: Re: Laszlo Toth
Date: 27 Jul 92 14:38:43 GMT
Organization: Salomon Brothers Arbitrage Support, NY,NY

Wasn't Laszlo Toth the name of the guy who took a hammer to
Michelangelo's Pieta twenty or so years ago?  

-- 
###############################################################
# Michael L. Urbanski # (212)783-6843         # HAPPY! HAPPY! #
# Salomon Bros. Inc.  # mikeu@daffy.sbi.com   #   JOY! JOY!   #
# 7 World Trade Center# uunet!sbi!daffy!mikeu #               #
# NY, NY  10048       #                       #  Ren & Stimpy #
###############################################################
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban