From: mcramm@dct.ac.uk (McRamm)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: AAAAaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggghhhhhhh  8-(
Date: 26 Sep 92 00:44:51 GMT
Organization: Dundee Institute of Technology

In article <1992Sep23.120814.11013@muppet.bt.co.uk>, bart@muppet.bt.co.uk (Tim) writes:
> In article 377@dct.ac.uk, mcramm@dct.ac.uk (McRamm) writes:
>>Hey, c'mon, give me a break! 
>>[ Certainly sir, which limb would you prefer? :-) ]
> 
> Oh, you want real conversation. Different League then :-)
> 
>>I'm getting hassle from all sides (work, professional bodies, f(r)iends even).
>>
>>I've decided there's something fundamentally *wrong* with the town I live in.
> 
> There's something -fundamentally wrong- with most town in Britain. I can't work
Ain't that the truth - especially in Scotland (more later)
> out which university town is dct.ac.uk, but its not that important. I could say 

dct.ac.uk is Dundee Institute of Technology (formerly Dundee College of
Technology) - Nothing to do with University of Dundee (std. disclaimer required
due to political dispute!)

> there's something -wrong- about Ipswich (and there is :-) but it don't mean much. 
> Put it down to our own bizarre idiosyncratic society. If you ain't married by 20
> with a kid by 22, then you're a wierdo. Bit simplistic maybe, but isn't it being
> fulfilled by the bulk of the population ? It seems to be in Ipswich anyway :-\

In Dundee I'd move the ages to 18 and 20 resp. as averages (16 and 18 as minima
and 22 and 24 as maxima)

> 
>>Anyone got any opinions ?
> 
> So you don't conform to the 'norm'. Then be your own person, take the consequences
> and as the The Dictators would say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke". 

Too true - the problem is that more and more of my "friends" are succumbing
to the norm (okay - that's their choice), and are believing the popular opinion
quoted above (re marriage and kids). It's getting so bad that after a few
_months_ of "happily married life" they seem to become completely different
people. I'm sorely tempted to set up a RFD/CFV for soc.mysoginyst (sp?) in
response to it.

> 
>>(FYI I'm a 26 year old PhD student, working with neural networks and loving it)
> 									^     ^
> 							  sounds like your happy
> So then what's the problem....

Noone else seems to accept the fact that I can possibly be happy and normal as
unless I get involved in some "relationship" (gack! - nasty word). Personally,
I don't think that I have the time for such a "thing" and I'm certainly not 
prepared to go out looking for one - if anything should happen, then I might 
let it roll along for a while to see if anything happens, but I have no 
intention of actively seeking a SO.

Incidentally, since I posted the first message, things have degenerated even
further. My best friend (from school days), announced his engagement to his SO
a couple of days ago, and I have two problems with that. (NB - I admit they may
be just my problems - but I'm worried about him)

Firstly - he's been propossing to her almost every day for about 2 months now,
and I find it highly suspicious that she didn't accept until about a week
before she has to leave the country (foreign national with expiring visa). My
suspicion is that she has accepted for the time being in order to have a quiet
few days before she leaves, and that there will be a thoroughly unpleasant
letter in the post within the next month or so. (I hope I'm wrong for his sake,
but I doubt it).

Secondly, I seem to have noticed a distinct change in behaviour since the
proposal phase began. Before, he was very much "one of the lads" and considered
himself a free agent. Since the start of the PP he seems to have become a
subservient entity, requiring persmission from the SO to undertake any sort of
social activity. Indeed, it has become so bad that eh spends more time with her
circle of fiends (deliberate spelling) than with his own. This, I believe, is a
subconscious attempt to prove his fidelity to her, and to prove that he is
reformed from his days as a free agent.

I have to say that the latter behaviour does not seem to be unique, and can't
help wondering if some psych. type somewhere has done a study of it - the
results could be very revealing.
>>Angus
>> 
> 
> Tim
> 
> ---                                             
 Angus M. Marshall, MCRAMM@UK.AC.DCT,amarshal@uk.ac.dund.mcs
".. and in the grove, by gate and hill, midst  merry  throng  and  market
clatter -  stood  the  Hall  of  the Mountain Grill, where table strain'd
'neath loaded platter " (from the legend of Beenzon Toste - Hawkwind)