From: dyer@spdcc.com (Steve Dyer)
Newsgroups: soc.motss,ba.motss
Subject: Re: Robert Bernardo  (1952-1992)
Date: 15 Aug 92 07:20:23 GMT
Organization: S.P. Dyer Computer Consulting, Cambridge MA

In article <s86ma!k.onr@netcom.com> onr@netcom.com (D. Owen Rowley) writes:
>If I remember correctly , it was Rob who started the tradition of meeting on
>the Library steps after the SF Gay freedom parade. I'm sure he was the one
>who posted the question asking if folks would like to meet.

You remember correctly.

>I recall wondering what the various characters of net.motss ( the old style
>newsgroup name) would be like, and I also recall my delight in meeting 
>Rob . I couldn't tell you who else was there, but I can still see him
>clearly in my mind. 

Rob was the first net.person I ever met.  It must have been ages ago
(84, or as late as 85) that we made arrangements to get together when
I was there on business; I recall meeting him outside the Cafe San Marcos
with Rod Williams, Brad Rubenstein and Keith Sklower waiting upstairs.
We had a great time.  I entrusted him with my treasured rare book collection
which I had brought with me to San Francisco.  What was that?  Why the
"Song of the Loon" trilogy: cowboy soft-porn and camp, totally out of
print and unavailable except through connoisseurs of the series.  Knowing
Rob and his interests, you can tell how eager he was to borrow the books.
(And for all of you bibliomaniacs, let me tell you that he actually
returned them, too!)

>It seems to me that many of the early  social functions, that were pivotal in 
>extending the motss culture from an ascii based association to real
>live relationships between real live human beings, had Robs hand on them.
>In those pre-motss_con days, Robs bar-B-ques were the premiere events
>at which motss participants could overcome the limitations of this 
>keyhole through which we all view each other.

So many of my early introductions to the net.motss crowd were by and
through Rob.  Not only one-on-one or one-on-few: he was my social
pivot point for my visits to SF during much of the 80's, but as
Owen says, through his phenomenal barbeques, where I met _everyone_
who was everyone from net.motss and soc.motss.  These were magical
events (realize that meeting face-to-face wasn't so common then as
it is today; not a technical limitation, but a matter of changed
conventions).  And when you realize that he managed to get all of
us out to _Concord_ on each of these occasions...

I recall breakfast at Rob's one morning with Jess, and fresh eggs
from the chickens he kept in the barn (what were their names?
Eleanor?  Gertrude?  Help me here.)  I remember chatting about
all manner of things over that breakfast before I was to leave
for home.  I remember looking in the bathroom and being astonished
at the tub and tile and the glass of the shower doors; you could have
performed surgery on any of these surfaces (gad, you could have done
so in the kitchen or living room, too; maybe even the barn.)  We could
never have been lovers. :-)

It had been a few years since I'd seen Rob in person, and I hoped to
see him on the library steps the day of the Pride march once again
this year, but the crowd was so great, we didn't manage to cross paths.
Which was fine at the time; we knew we could try again sometime later.
It was only blind coincidence that I was in the Bay Area last week,
together with a gracious note from Jess informing me of Rob's condition,
that I managed to visit him one last time in the hospital.

It's difficult to imagine soc.motss without Rob jumping into a
discussion with his characteristic Talmudic precision.  No, it
doesn't feel real just yet.


-- 
Steve Dyer
dyer@ursa-major.spdcc.com aka {ima,harvard,rayssd,linus,m2c}!spdcc!dyer
Newsgroups: soc.motss