HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: adam@irvine.com (Adam Beneschan)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: scientist joke list
Date: 13 Jan 93 03:46:07 GMT
Organization: Irvine Compiler Corp., Irvine, California, USA

In article <randal.726872688@dapp> randal@cs.UAlberta.CA (Randal Peters) 
writes:

> A mathematician, an engineer and a computer scientist . . .

Here's a similar one a friend told me a while back:

A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are sitting in three
identical rooms.  In each room, there is a sink and a metal bucket.
Suddenly, in each room, an identical fire breaks out.

The chemist fills the bucket with water and dumps it on the fire,
putting the fire out.

The physicist takes a bunch of measurements.  He measures the fire,
using a thermometer and other instruments to measure the fire's
temperature, radius, etc.  Then he measures the bucket, then he does
some calculations.  Then he puts water in the bucket and dumps it on
the fire and puts it out.  But he's calculated the exact amount of
water required to put the fire out, so the result is that the fire is
out and there's no excess water on the floor or anything.  

The mathematician also measures the fire, and then the bucket, and
then does some calculations.  Then he says, "Aha!  A solution exists!"
Then he sits back down.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: puerile@wam.umd.edu (Mohan R. Ramanathan)
Subject: Elvis' Birthday Today!
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 13:52:11 GMT

Merry Elvis' Birthday to the Net!
I was wondering if someone out there knew the lyrics
to the song "Elvis is Still the King" 
I think it was sung by Mojo Nixon, but I could be wrong.
CYA
mohan
From: andy@cbnewsh.cb.att.com (andy.russo)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Hey, Buttheads! ....
Keywords: rec.humor netiquette, ObJoke - Guy Goes To The Doctor
Date: 7 Jan 93 22:40:04 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor.d
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories - Arlington VA - Frizzy Things Dept.


	.... and Non-Buttheads.

	This is rec.humor.  If you think something isn't funny, post your
whining to rec.humor.d ("d" for DISCUSSIONs).  And if you're one
of the knuckleheads complaining that there is no humor here WITHOUT
POSTING HUMOR, CUT IT OUT!  Sheez!  Ya want me to bust my CRT again?

	Aleways (typo, but I like it!) include an ObJoke (OBLIGATORY
Joke).  Racy (sexual) objoke follows.  If you don't like them or
you're underage, hit "n" now.

[ This is really a spoken joke, but you'll get the idea]

	This businessman is having a bad problem.  So this guy goes
to the doctor.  The doctor thinks he looks O.K., so he asks the guy what
his problem is.

	In a very annoying high-pitched voice the guy says "Doc,
I'm being ruined as a businessman.  My voice is getting higher
and higher.  People are just laughing when I give orders.  I'll
do anything to have a normal voice again."

	The doctor examines the guy, and he says "Well, I'm glad you said
you'll do anything, because the problem is that your penis is too long,
and the weight is driving your voice up.  You'll be fine if we make
it normal - take about eight inches off."

	The guy says to go ahead.  The operation is quick, relatively
painless, and successful.  The businessman's life returns to normal.

	One day he runs into the doctor on the street, and he says
"Doc, I gotta thank you.  You saved my career.  I've just got one
question - what did you do with that extra eight inches?"

	And the doctor says [everybody join in,
in a high-pitched voice :-)]  -- "Threw it out, of course."

Ba Dum Bump.

Andy (Who's Got More "So This Guy Goes To The Doctor" Jokes?) Russo
# if you followup with a joke, delete my "Followup-To:" line
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: se27@claudius.nextlab.cs.qub.ac.uk (Neil Harkin)
Subject: Fish
Organization: University of Oulu
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 00:09:17 GMT



There's two things in the world that smell like fish.....
























and one of them is fish!



Cheers

Neil
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: robertsa@unix2.tcd.ie (Andrew L. Roberts)
Subject: Quiet Wyatt
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 16:35:08 GMT


There once was a young man named Wyatt
Whose voice was remarkably quiet,
And then one day
It faded away,
.........


+-----------------------+---------------------------------------------+
| Andrew L. Roberts     |"I don't pretend to understand the universe, |
+-----------------------+  it's much bigger than I am."               |
| robertsa@unix2.tcd.ie |  		--Albert Einstein             |
+-----------------------+---------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cowboy@sunws7.sys.cs.psu.edu (Richard M Kessler)
Subject: Re: California is NOT representative of the US as a whole
Keywords: language
Organization: Penn State Computer Science
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 19:20:56 GMT

In article <1icvouINNdqc@duca.hi.com> wright@duca.hi.com (David Wright) writes:
>In article <1993Jan5.211351.21070@walter.bellcore.com> tld@cosmos.bellcore.com writes:
>>Small point:  82% of adult (18 years and above) `Californians' were born
>>              and raised outside of California....  Check the last census...
>>
>>              73% of Californian vehicle (car/motorcycle) accidents
>>              were caused by people who moved to Cal. from out of state,
>
>Which is pretty damn funny, given the legendary California love of
>cars, because it means that the native Californians are causing a
>disproportionate number of accidents!
>
>>              and a full 85% of *those* accidents were caused by people
>>              from the tri-state area (NY,NJ,CN)  - Survey reported on KYA
>>              (San Fransisco) and repeated on CBS news about 3 years ago...
>
>This, I assume, means that you should be on the qui vive while driving
>in the Tri-State area...
>
>  -- David Wright, Hitachi Computer Products (America), Inc.
>     wright@hicomb.hi.com
>
>     "I avoid driving in the Tri-State area"

All this tends to mean one thing:
       Where ever you are, keep the hell out of our way.

I pay damned good money to wreck my truck every year or so.

--cowboy@cs.psu.edu
-- 
All of the previous shit was my opinion, but in not one way humble.
If you don't like it, don't read it.  
If you do like it you should you should have your head examined.
Really, I am this obnoxious in person too.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: elf@ee.ryerson.ca (luis fernandes)
Subject: Toys "R" Us
Organization: Ryerson Polytechnical Institute, Toronto
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 23:51:46 GMT

\begin
I worked at Toys "R" Us in Tampa, Florida. The job was boring,
but I found a number of ways to entertain myself, my fellow
employees and even the customers.

One Christmas, the store had a Barbie doll house on display.
Every night I would create a different scene by dressing the
dolls up in strance outfits and setting them up in unusual
situations. One time I dressed the Ken doll in a clown outfit,
tied Barbie against a balcony, and set Ken up so he was whipping
her.

One day during the summer I found a Barbie doll on the floor with
half a leg chewed off. I attached a peg to her leg, resealed her
in a box, and sold her as Peg-Legged BArbie. Another time I found
a ripped-up Cabbage Patch Kid, and a friend and I resewed part of
it and sold it as an Anatomically Correct Cabbage Patch Kid.

I had some fun with what I did. I'm not trying to sound like a
jerk, but I was the best worker at the store. I kept the other
employees amused. I saw it as a necessity for surviving the type
of job I had.

-Ron, Toy Store Floor Manager
\end

From _Sabotage_in_the_American_Workplace_, Martin Sprouse, ed.


--
elf@ee.ryerson.ca
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mpeever@uvphys.phys.uvic.ca (Mark Peever)
Subject: Re: scientist joke list
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.3-4   
Reply-To: mpeever@uvphys.phys.uvic.ca
Organization: UVic, Physics & Astronomy, Victoria, BC
Distribution:  world
Date: 12 JAN 93 14:06:40    

>i am looking for a list which contains jokes about scientists of the
>typus : 'a mathematician, an engineer and a physicist...'
>zosh

Maybe these aren't exactly what you want, but I like them:
	
	A physicist, a mathematician, and a biologist are asked to
	prove or disprove the statement that all odd numbers are
	prime. 
	The mathematician starts out:
	" one is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is
	prime, nine isn't prime, but nine is odd, thus the 
	statement is not true."
	The physicist says:
	"one is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is
	prime, nine is not prime, but it is one exception in a
	statistically valid sample, and thus we require further
	tests"
	The biologist says:
	"one is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is
	prime, nine is prime..."



	A physicist and a mathematician both set out to boil 
	water. The physicist takes a pot out of the cupboard, puts
	water in it, and sets it on the stove to boil, as does 
	the mathematician. The next day, they try it again, only
	now the pot is on the counter, as it was washed from the 
	day before, so the physicist takes the pot from the counter
	puts water in it, and sets it on the stove to boil. The
	mathematician, however, takes the pot and puts it in the
	cupboard, now he has a problem that he has already solved,
	so he takes it out of the cupboard...

Mark
	
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust)
Subject: Re: Test
Organization: Gallaudet University English Department
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 14:19:20 GMT

In article <1993Jan7.122417@cogs.sussex.ac.uk>, richs@cogs.sussex.ac.uk (Richard Salter) writes:
> In article <1993Jan6.151519.1@ulkyvx.louisville.edu>, cpsigd01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu writes:
> |> In article <8791.8589@stratus.SWDC.Stratus.COM>, bruce@godzilla.swdc.stratus.com (Bruce Overby) writes:
> |> > In article <-hc=Vg@engin.umich.edu> pka@engin.umich.edu (Payman Khalili) writes:
> |> >>In article <1993Jan5.164636.3686@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> s9000289@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au (Cameron Hooper) writes:
> |> >>>In article <1992Dec19.062934.133234@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, cej0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (CHARLES EDWARD JAMES) writes:
> |> >>>> In article <1992Dec18.143400.6456@bmerh85.bnr.ca>, coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr.ca (Dav
> |> >>>> id Smith) writes:
> |> >>>>>In article <1992Dec18.020436.2148@news.arc.nasa.gov> nicholso@pioneer.arc.nasa.
> |> >>>> gov (Melvin H. Nicholson YBH) writes:
> |> >>>>>>In article <BzF6E3.Lp7@cck.coventry.ac.uk> cei352@cck.coventry.ac.uk (The Frea
> |> >>>> k) writes:
> |> >>>>>>>In article <1992Dec17.102719.13134@bsu-ucs> 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu write
> |> >>>> s:
> |> >>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Rich
> |> >>>> man) writes:
> |> >>>>>>>>> In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@euler.Berk
> |> >>>> eley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
> |> >>>>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Tw
> |> >>>> yman) writes:
> |> >>>>>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas
> |> >>>>  Orphanides) writes:
> |> >>>>>>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron H
> |> >>>> uang) writes:
> |> >>>>>>>>>>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (
> |> >>>> Vilas Khare) writes:
> |> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
> |> >>>>>>>>>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
> |> >>>>>>>>>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
> |> >>>>>>>>>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
> |> >>>>>>>>>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
> |> >>>>>>>>> This is starting to make me snore.
> |> >>>>>>>>is this the rec.humor people adore?
> |> >>>>>>>Ommes it porn,which is hard core.?
> |> >>>>>>Haven't when been through all this before?
> |> >>>>>No, have some BEER and let me pour!
> |> >>>> Why have one when we can have four!
> |> >>>Get throughly pissed and sleep on the floor.
> |> >>Hilary Clinton loves Al Gore!
> |> > This is one cascade I really abhor.
> |> Hilary Clinton is really a Wh-- 
> I have this strange feeling, there's far more in store.
Reading this cascade is becoming a chore.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: clarke@atri.curtin.edu.au (Nathan Clarke)
Subject: Re: The REAL Confucius list #1
Reply-To: clarke@atri.curtin.edu.au
Organization: Australian Telecommunication Research Institute
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 93 02:50:29 GMT

In article 2b4b455d@ul.ie, mckeonj@ul.ie () writes:
> In article <1992Dec21.232054.26583@usage.csd.unsw.OZ.AU>, csh@newt.phys.unsw.edu.au (Chris Heath) writes:
> > For all those ppl whom wanted a Confucious list.....here's mine.....
> >    55.  Man who lose key to girl-friends apartment gets no new-key.
> > 
> >    56.  Confucious say: I didn't say that!!!
> At least you put in the last one, otherwise you get no marks.
> Seriously, can anyone give a genuine Kung-Futze saying?
> Hm?
> I thought not. This one may be the genuine article:
> Confucius (note spelling) said that a man who has a tiger by the
> tail is reluctant to let go.
> -- 
> "Ich am of Irlonde" (medieval fragment used by Yeats)
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> John McKeon, Material Science Dept. University of Limerick, Ireland

Confucious say: Man who go to bed wiv ichy bottom, wake up wiv smewwy finger.

I'm new to the group so don't blame me if you've heard it.

	Nathan.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:37564 soc.religion.quaker:395 soc.culture.celtic:8605 soc.culture.jewish:24748
From: kevin@sherman.pas.rochester.edu (kevin mcfadden)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: History (was: Seriously, a joke.)
Date: 7 Jan 93 20:52:35 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester

In article <CC.93Jan7143204@arran.dcs.ed.ac.uk> cc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Chris Cooke) writes:
>In article <C0HL5L.4y8@dcs.ed.ac.uk> morna@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Morna J Findlay) writes:
>   In article <C0FMyu.8FG@agora.rain.com> trifid@agora.rain.com (Roadster Racewerks) writes:
>   >
>   >I also think you ought to look into why the earlier versions of Highland
>   >dress were considered obscene... ('Nother hint. They seldom wore pants,
>   >or kilts.  Men's natural "accoutrements" were considered something to be
>   >proud of, and were often hidden by only a dagger or pouch. Think of the
>   >sporran without the kilt...  8-)
>
>   You -  are - JOKING hen!
>
>   Unless the climate here was substantailly - SUBSTANTIALLY - better
>   then than it is now, I'll bet you several big ones that's a lot of 
>   total tosh.
>
>Compromise suggestion: maybe they let it all hang out during battle, but at
>other times protected themselves from the weather?  Certainly if their
>willies were exposed all the time, they'd drop off.  Seriously, a Highland
>winter is NOT the time to go streaking through the glens.  But I gather that
>ancient Irish warriors used to fight in the buff to scare their opponents;
>maybe their Scottish cousins had similar battle habits.
>--
>	-- Chris. 	cc@dcs.ed.ac.uk   (on Janet, cc@uk.ac.ed.dcs)
>
>		

I have just finished reading a book title "Druids" by Morgan Llwelyn (I know
I should be able to spell this correctly but...) who researches deeply
into the history of Celts/Gauls for her books.  In this one she mentions that
the Gauls would go into battle bearing all.  Of course France is probably
a lot warmer than Scotland :)
From: sents@dixie.com (Jeff Sents)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Computer Science Humorous Posting
Date: 10 Jan 93 23:44:51 GMT
Organization: Dixie Communications Public Access.  The Mouth of the South.

eric@tantalus.nrl.navy.mil (Eric Youngdale) writes:

>In article <Jan04.195631.19242@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU> wallacen@ColoState.EDU writes:
>>ATTENTION ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS:
>>
>>Here are the OPCODES for the new "Walrus 158000" Microprocessor. Please
>>be sure to use them correctly when programming for this chip:
>>
>>BBI  Branch on Burned-out Indicator
>>BPO  Branch on Power Off
>>[...]
>>As this chip is still in development, other useful opcodes are solicited...
>>:):):):)
>EJZ   Excrement and jump on zero

BTO  Blame The Operator
BTP  Blame The Programmer
BTU  Blame The User
BBB  Blame IBM
ABE  Abend Everything
STS  Switch To Spanish
 

***************************************************************************
* Jeff R. Sents                           *                               *
* Marietta, Georgia, USA                  *    Never Trust Programmers    *
* home: sents@dixie.com                   *    Who Carry Screwdrivers!    * 
* work: ge03429@loads1.lasc.lockheed.com  *                               *
***************************************************************************
#include <stdsclmr.h>
<This message contains only the opinions & beliefs of its author, 
which in no way represent those of anyone else.>
From: mgrmdk@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Date: 4 Jan 1993 19:21:29 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: mgrmdk@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: cornflower.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

In article <C05FKs.DB@utdallas.edu> bcollins@utdallas.edu (ARLIN B  
COLLINS) writes:
>   my [now retired] dentist used to break-in a new assistant
>   (I was a patient for about 20 years, so I saw this done
>    two or three times)  by having the receptionist schedule
>    a fake appointment:  Mike Hunt.
>    Then he would wait for the new assisant to ask:
>      "Where is Mike Hunt?"
>   or "I wonder where Mike Hunt is?"
>   or "What has happened to Mike Hunt?"
>   or "Have you seen Mike Hunt?"
>   or "What does Mike Hunt look like?"
>   or  ....   ad nauseum....

All joking aside, there was a Michael Hunt in my biology class my freshmen  
year in high school.  This gentleman skipped class often, and whenever the  
teacher would call role and ask, repeatedly, "Is Mike Hunt here?"  in  
which the class would start laughing.  I don't think the teacher ever  
caught on.

Mike
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: petitc@vccnw01.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: Request: Computer Languages
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 00:15:47 GMT

elf@ee.ryerson.ca (luis fernandes) writes:

>fcs@athena.mit.edu (Franklin C. Smith) writes:
>>
>>PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES ARE LIKE WOMEN
>>
>>by: Daniel J. Salomon Department of Computer Science, University of Waterloo
>>Waterloo, Ontario, Canada  N2L 3G1

>[...]
>>Pascal - A grammar school teacher, and Algol 60's younger sister.  Like her
>>sister she is petite and attractive, but very bossy.  She is a good cook but
>>only if the recipe requires no more than one pot (module).

>Lest we forget Miss Pascal is into Bondage & Discipline...

>[...]

 I missed this one.  Could someone repost it or mail me a copy?  Thanks in
advance.

-- 
Your Lucky Number is 3.1415926 but must be played between 3 and 3:15 PM on
January 11, 1993.
"The greatest beauty in the world is beauty that is private."
"Protect endangered species!  Contribute to the Exxon Supporter's Fund!"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: chrisb@seachg.uucp (Chris Blask)
Subject: Re: Rudolf's nose is dimming
Reply-To: chrisb@seachg.UUCP (Chris Blask)
Organization: Sea Change Corporation, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 93 17:51:52 GMT

In article <hohoho@northpole.org> santa@northpole.org writes:
>Attention all Christmas lovers and fans of joly 'ol Saint Nic!!!!
>
>We have a crisis on our hands.  Rudolf's nose is slowly dimming!
>We require more hope in the world to light it back up!  Do what
>you can to assist.  Give money to the homeless, be nice to your
>mother, give an ex-girlfriend a kiss, whatever your heart will
>allow.
>
>Please people, open up your hearts!!!
>We depend on the kindness of others.
>
>                                HO HO HO
>                                SANTA

ATTA BOY, Santa, my main elf! (hey, ho! let's go!).  I'll start it off by
donating my left ventricle to the first taker.  Next!

-chris blask

agnostic Christmas lover at large.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: timhu@ico.isc.com (Timothy Hu)
Subject: Re: Ideas for Marriage Toast
Organization: Interactive Systems Corp., Boulder CO
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 20:48:10 GMT

Can you tell us about these two?
-- 
Timothy Hu timhu@ico.isc.com	 | The intelligence (or lack of) expressed
Interactive Systems Corporation  | above does not necessarily reflect
Resource Solutions International | that of anyone else.
From: u2k65@keele.ac.uk (M White)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Bill and Ben
Date: 5 Jan 93 04:32:16 GMT
Organization: Keele University, England

Bill and Ben are in bed
Bill says follobble-obble-obble 
to which Ben says if you loved me you would swallow that
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides)
Subject: Re: TEST! Ignore...
Organization: Choate Rosemary Hall
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 18:23:14 GMT

In article <1738@anon.smurf.sub.org> 328@anon.smurf.sub.org (Anonymous User 328) writes:
>This is a test is a test is a test is a test...
Why don't we all just give it a rest?
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 93 19:30:03 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: zaphod@answers.larc.nasa.gov (Lyle D. Sanders)
Subject: Cannibals
Keywords: chuckle


Told to me by my minister's wife.  Source unknown.

A cannibal and his son are going to look for food.
They hide behind some bushes and waited for
someone to come by.

After a few minutes, a skinny man comes by.  The
son says "How about him, dad?"  "No," says the
father, "he's too skinny."

A short time later, a fat man wanders by.  "What
about that guy, dad?" asks the son.  "Too much
cholesterol."

A little later, a pretty, 20 year old lady walks
by.  The son asks, "Dad, how about her?"  The
father replies "Yes!  Let's take her home and eat
your mother!"

--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.

If you mail to original@clarinet.com, it makes sure that your joke is tagged
as your original work, and thus eligible for the RHF comedy awards.   Always
attribute the source of a joke, whether it's you, or somebody else.
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 93 3:20:02 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Bosnia Peace Conference
From: gnb@bby.com.au (Gregory Bond)
Keywords: topical, chuckle

The Bosnian peace talks continued in Geneva today.  The only thing
that Alija Izetbegovic, Radovan Karadzic and Slobodan Milosovic could
agree on was that John Major has a funny name.

--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.

If you mail to original@clarinet.com, it makes sure that your joke is tagged
as your original work, and thus eligible for the RHF comedy awards.   Always
attribute the source of a joke, whether it's you, or somebody else.
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 93 19:30:03 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: rmt51@cas.org (Rick Turkel, Ext. 2214, Room 5304B           bs"d)
Subject: And I'm behind him 300%
Keywords: chuckle, sexual

A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.

The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine.  In addition, he burned his
tongue and broke his finger!"

--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.

Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes.  You think I have
time to hand-correct everybody's postings?