From: ddkilzer@iastate.edu (David D Kilzer)
Subject: Insurance Form Descriptions
Summary: People describing motor vehicle accidents on insurance forms.
Reply-To: schnekcl@mainrt.luther.uni.edu
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, IA
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1992 21:51:51 GMT

I'm posting this for a friend who doesn't have access to the usenet (and
knows what he's missing!!).  Enjoy!

>The Davemeister<
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	The following are actual statements found on insurance forms
	where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an
	accident in the fewst possible words.  The instances of
	faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing
	may be highly entertaining.


I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch
by some stray cows.

I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found
that I had a fractured skull.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck a pedestrian.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished!

The pedestrian had no idea of where to run, so I ran over him.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof
of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with
a big mouth!

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road
so I bumped him to help him along.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place no
stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid
the accident.

The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out of
the way when I struck the front end.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my 
head through it.

The pedestrian hit me and slid under my car.

A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.

The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before
I hit him.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I was on my way to the doctor wth rear end trouble, when my universal
joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had 
this accident.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I
reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision, and
I did not see the other car.

--
	"Ah, to have the mind of the poet and the imagination of an actor!"

Quotes found by yours truly, Sigma Frood.  Love it or delete it!
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
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-- 
[   >The Davemeister<   ][  __The_Borg_on_College__  ][   __Star_Trek_IV__   ]
[ ddkilzer@iastate.edu  ][   "Studying is futile."   ][ Kirk:  "No, I'm from ]
[  David "Dave" Kilzer  ][ "Homework is irrelevant." ][ Iowa. I only WORK in ]
[  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  ][ "Partying _IS_ relevant." ][ outer space."        ]
Newsgroups: rec.humor