HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Honesty, Your word, and Trust -- a crisis?
Date: 23 Jan 93 13:29:13
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
NNTP-Posting-Host: grover.cs.unc.edu
In-reply-to: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu's message of Sat, 23 Jan 93 05:46:44 GMT

In article <1993Jan23.054644.17038@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:

   This reminds me of someone I know who has severe, debilitating attacks
   of anal retentiveness; this tends to result in conversations along the
   lines of

	 "I'm going out to pick up a couple of CDs; want to come along?"
	 "Which two CDs are you going to buy?"
	 "I haven't decided yet; I'll probably figure that out after I have
	  a chance to see what they have."
	 "Then how do you know you're going to buy two?"
	 "I don't; I feel like buying some, but I might not even find any
	  that I like."
	 "You said you were going to buy a 'couple'--that means two;
	  exactly two.  So you lied."

Wow.  Who does this remind me of?
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Xref: sparky soc.singles:38040 soc.penpals:6024 alt.romance:16431 alt.romance.chat:23998
From: pa_ross@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Mr Rossy)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.penpals,alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: SM ISO MAIL
Date: 26 Jan 93 13:37:31 GMT
Organization: University of the West of England, Bristol

In article <C19GCo.DE7@cen.ex.ac.uk> st92rcn@cen.ex.ac.uk writes:
>My name is rachel and I want your body

But *I* need it !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

				 Paul
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.sex
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Problems with being single
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 03:33:20 GMT

diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
] In article <ewright.727854345@convex.convex.com> ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:
] 
] >Single means "one."
] >
] >Not single means "more than one."
] 
] Hmm.  I guess I am and have always been single, then, because while I'll
] admit that I'm a little bit overweight, I'm certainly not more than one.
] 
] 			--Diamond


Which Clearly Raises the pressing Question:

"If you will not talk with Yourself, 
Why should anyone else?"


Not to mention the minor matter of whether or
not those with Multiple Personality Disorders
can Actually Date Themselves, and does turning
themselves down count as moral Purity?????


ciao
drieux



-- 
MajorModernDayProblems: 

sometimes, a thing will happen after another thing, 
and they may not be connected.....
From: quirke_a@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Living alone and liki
Date: 27 Jan 93 14:46:47 NZST
Organization: Welligton City Council, Public Access.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: kosmos.wcc.govt.nz

pw@panix.com (Paul Wallich) writes:

> Got you both beat. Living in nyc, cd changer filled with roches

   Assuming you mean "roaches", that's a bad place for them. The narcotics dogs
can sniff them out dead easy. Better to hide them under water, such as the
toilet tank (where it not such a hackneyed location)...

-- 
Tony Quirke, Wellington, New Zealand (Quirke_A@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz)
"Only the free have disposition to be truthful.
 Only the truthful have the interest to be just.
 Only the just possess the willpower to be free." - WH Auden.
From: ed@weir.pa.dec.com (Ed Gould)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Steve Martin no longer in vogue?
Date: 23 Jan 93 16:38:18 GMT
Reply-To: ed@pa.dec.com
Distribution: usa
Organization: DEC Network Systems Lab, Palo Alto
NNTP-Posting-Host: weir.pa.dec.com

> Newsflash, Gary.  "Eat my Shorts" *is* from the '70s.

Newsflash, Nance.  "Eat my Shorts" is from the *'60s.*

--
Ed Gould	  ed@pa.dec.com		Digital Equipment Corporation
+1 415 688 1309	  Network Systems Lab	181 Lytton Ave, Palo Alto, CA  94301

"Unison is only one form of harmony." -- LW
From: diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: what is attractive ?
Date: 23 Jan 93 22:20:49 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.

In article <ewright.727736220@convex.convex.com> ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:

>feet to make them appear smaller and more attractive.  In the United 
>States, just 20 years ago, it was generally accepted that women should
>be soft, rather than the "hard bodies" popular today.  Muscles on women
>were considered unattractive.

I've always thought that the best example of this was the whole tanning
phenomenon... until relatively recently, women in Western societies attempted
to appear as pale as possible (and did things like take milk baths to try
to lighten their skins).  

				--Diamond

diamond@acpub.duke.edu| We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn
Elizabeth S. Abrams   | them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress 
		      | but the memory of the smell of smoke, and the  
                      | presumption that once our eyes watered. -Tom Stoppard
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jwall@nyx.cs.du.edu (Jeff Wall)
Subject: Re: Trygve's shower
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 93 14:24:17 GMT

In article <1993Jan24.161945.5251@noose.ecn.purdue.edu> mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor) writes:
>In article <1993Jan24.072518.4694@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>
>>P.S.  Hope you don't have anything against "Mister Bubble." 
>
>OH, Trygve, you really have to stop using these inferior products.  Kermit's
>KraziBerri Bubbles is the only way to go.  LOTS!  of bubbles, nice fruity
>fragrance, leaves ones skin, oh-so-soft.
>
>(hey, I happen to have a strong penchant for bubble baths and it pays to know
>your bubbles.  Besides, it was a Christmas present from my dog, Bull.  You
>can imagine my surprise and he so cleverly left it at a friend's house so
>I wouldn't find it.  How thoughtful.  The wrapping job for someone who 
>doesn't have opposable thumbs was just lovely.)

I think Bull, or soemone is pulling your leg Mel, or maybe Bull wants you
to use it to give him a bath.....

BTW, what brand is Bull??

Cheers,

Jeff Wall
From: jmd@bear.com (Josh Diamond)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Zen and the art of refrig upkeep (Re: Living alone)
Date: 27 Jan 93 14:37:53 GMT
	<1993Jan21.000419.7811@noose.ecn.purdue.edu>
	<1993Jan26.225125.21606@csd.uwe.ac.uk>
	<1993Jan27.021139.16967@noose.ecn.purdue.edu>
Organization: Bear, Stearns & Co. - FAST
In-reply-to: mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu's message of 27 Jan 93 02:11:39 GMT


In article <1993Jan27.021139.16967@noose.ecn.purdue.edu> mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor) writes:

   (Besides, I'm getting to like tv dinners.  They're inexpensive, easy,
   fairly nutritionally sound, and just the right amount for me.)

This must be some new definition of nutritionally sound of which I
was previously unawares.

Hey, these things have enough salt in them to give a corpse high blood
pressure!


Spidey!!!

--
You don't hunt ducks with a turnip! 

 /\ \  / /\  Josh Diamond                                          jmd@bear.com
//\\ .. //\\ AKA Spidey!!!                        ...!ctr.columbia.edu!ursa!jmd
//\((  ))/\\
/  < `' >  \                                              Do whatever it takes.
Xref: sparky soc.singles:38261 soc.penpals:6111 alt.romance:16495 alt.romance.chat:24052
From: ssalimb01@cc.curtin.edu.au
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.penpals,alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: SM ISO MAIL
Date: 28 Jan 93 05:17:40 GMT
Organization: Curtin University of Technology

In article <C19GCo.DE7@cen.ex.ac.uk>, st92rcn@cen.ex.ac.uk writes:
> My name is rachel and I want your body

Sorry, but my body is one thing you can not have.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: MWF?
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 06:04:01 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <1993Jan21.233015.27587@noose.ecn.purdue.edu> mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor) writes:

>I suppose I should pay closer attention to these things with the very
>itching rash of personal ads here 'bouts.  I'm afraid it wouldn't stand
>for the 'norm' in that respect.  I'm just one of the crowd, stricken
>young with heterosexuality. It's limiting, I know and I cope as best I
>can, but no matter how I flip it, it keeps coming up heads and not tails.

And you won't get tail until you stop using your mental skills to
stop sabotaging the outcomes :-)

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"Shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have all of this,
 and, passionate kisses, passionate kisses, passionate kisses, from you?"
- "Passionate Kisses" Lucinda Williams
From: brent.mason@uuworld.via.mind.ORG (Brent Mason) 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Steve Martin no longe
Date: 25 Jan 93 15:31:00 GMT
Reply-To: brent.mason@uuworld.via.mind.ORG (Brent Mason) 
Distribution: world
Organization: Micro Exchange - Kenwood, CA - 707-833-4032

N > From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
  > Dawn:  you might post that grandparents thing to misc.kids.  Also,
  > where does one acquire music by this "Bongwater" you quote? :-)

       It's the sound you get out of your bong when you play it like a
recorder, except, please empty the water out first, or else you will
sound like that robin who drank the bong water I put my bird bath!

       That bird is no longer with it, "Bubba" my black cat (formerly
baby kitty) has a big <GRIN> though.

       Brent Mason
---
 . BABBLE v1.0 . There is someone imperfect out there for everyone!!
 . KMail 2.94  Micro Exchange
         
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: rna@leland.Stanford.EDU (Robert Ashcroft)
Subject: Re: Interracial Relationships
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 93 00:14:55 GMT

In article <1993Jan22.141620.16556@bnlux1.bnl.gov> schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder) writes:
>In article <1993Jan20.202749.5827@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>>In article <297@cnmhnet.UUCP> keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard) writes:
>>>On a recent "Donahue", the topic was interracial relationships,
>>>and all couples were black-white, with the exception being a 
>>>Filipina girl.  But who were all the questions directed to?
>>>The black-white couples.  Donahue even apologized to the 
>>>Filipina, cause she wasn't even addressed by the audience.
>>>In other words, it was as thought
>>>she wasn't considered to be an "interracial".  Anyway, just
>>>my .02 cents worth.

There was a great program on PBS the other night in the SFBay area about
(among other things) marrying out of your racial/ethnic group in the US.

For European ethnicities such as Polish, Greek, Italian, the marrying rate
out of the group is around 80-90%.  This rate exploded from 5-10% just after
WWII.  For Hispanics and Asians, the marriage rates out of their groups are
around 30%, also drastically up.  For Jews, the intermarriage rate is about
50%.

For blacks, the rate is 2%.  This is also hugely up from an utterly
negligible rate prior to WWII, but is clearly a different order of magnitude
entirely from the other groups.

These facts would seem to bear out the poster's statement above about
Caucasian-Asian unions no longer appearing remarkable.

The thesis of the program was that despite the recent concerns that the
country is splitting apart along ethnic lines, the evidence is that
the opposite is happening at an increasingly fast rate and in the most
profound way:  intermarriage.  It's completely overwhelming even traditionally
separatist ethnic groups---like the Jews.  One Jew was quoted on the program
as saying that while Judaism has proved it can survive in the face of
adversity, it does not seem to be able to survive near-complete acceptance.
Rather ironic.  One of those "be careful of what you wish for" things.

Just thought I'd throw a few semi-relevant facts around.  Hope I haven't
trodden on anyone's preconceptions.  
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: Living alone and liking it
Organization: AT&T
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 17:27:46 GMT

In article <1993Jan22.160804.2543@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> jwall@nyx.cs.du.edu (Jeff Wall) writes:
>In article <16557@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>>Yea, but have you ever seen him in Latex?
>No, but that's beside the point.  I want to see Stef in Latex (especially
>if she looks like Garfield)

Stef?  Are you orange and furry with black stripes and lasagne stains?  :-)
-- 
-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+
Nance Colucci                                      att!ihlpl!colucci
    "Babies feel a lot better going in than they do coming out."
-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Too Young 2B single
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 06:12:30 GMT

pooh@Apple.COM (Pooh) writes:
>I'm fat, AND I'm ugly ... 

I must have met a different Pooh at the Chicon @! party.
-- 

Kiran Wagle                           <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
From: pdsmith@bbn.com (Peter D. Smith)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: what is attractive ?
Date: 22 Jan 1993 23:07:06 GMT
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com
Summary: -- especially redheads

In article <ewright.727736220@convex.convex.com>, ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:
> In <1993Jan21.162830.15905@cbfsb.cb.att.com> sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein) writes:
> 
> >...I would > >think most of it is "physiological" and the rest of it ...
> 
> In that case, "physiology" must change very rapidly indeed ...
[lots of stuff deleted]

Or my own favorite example, from Trollope's "The Prime Minister"  He thought
that the lead male was more perfect person than the lead female even though
the lead male was a thoroughly dull, stick-in-the-mud, prim&proper person
who was of no interest whatsoever.  The lead female, on the other hand, was
inferior because she was vivacious, interested in people, and liked parties.

The lead female was also described as "quite attractive despite her red hair."
Huh?  What's he mean, "despite" red hair?  Red has got to be the most
attractive hair color of all.


					Peter D. Smith
					"or just Peter" (tm)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: mysti@sierra.sybase.com (Mysti Rubert)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: The Classiest Pickup Lines
Date: 19 Jan 93 19:18:24 GMT

In article <thurlow.726987318@convex.convex.com>, thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow) writes:
|> In <1993Jan12.192546.15058@jetsun.weitek.COM> weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
|> 
|> >PS to Mysti:
|> >I have enjoyed your postings. I tried to send email saying so, but it
|> >bounced. Send me email some time.
|> 
|> If you were a REAL man, you would have written your own mailer so
|> that your mail would not bounce.  Or used explicit bang paths if
|> you just wanted to *look* like a REAL man.

Dang, heap abuse on this poor guy's head, whydoncha.  Your faith
in internet, at least our connection to it, is illplaced....

-- 
========================
Mysti Rubert, Oaktown, California

"It's not the men in my life, but the life in my men."  Mae West
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: desiree@netcom.com (dmc)
Subject: Re: Favorite Groups
Summary: Grandmaaaaaaaaa take me home...
Organization: Morris Minor
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 23:36:39 GMT

In article <1993Jan25.215406.15705@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> jwall@nyx.cs.du.edu
 (Jeff Wall) writes:

>Boy am I glad I'm not part of this world on a regular basis because I
>would rather not have you speaking for me, thankyouverymuch.

	Yeayeayea.  Blah blah blah.  Already said why I said it.
See that. If you don't want to; don't.

>This is your second post flaming David and I really don't understand why,
>guess I don't care much either, but why don't you turn that pent up energy
>toward something more constructive like flaming the people who post
>personals or something :-).

	Tell you what Jeff -- you flame the personals or whatever you
see as potential bbq material -- I'll flame or not flame whatever I
see fit, okie dokie artichokie? 

	But lose the smiley, I heartedly dislike people that talk outta
both sides of their face.


Toodles,

Desiree


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: Suggestion box: What to do on Valentine's Day
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 05:26:00 GMT

EMIL CHUCK (eyc@acpub.duke.edu) wrote:

: Valentine's Day is one of the worst days of my life. It's bad enough
: when I don't have a significant someone to be with, but then anywhere
: I go, there are all these couples practically falling over themselves
: with _amore_. Sometimes it makes me want to throw up.

I just ignore them - they'll learn, sooner or later (the HARD way), that
love hurts.  <chuckle>

: If you've never felt this way at one time or another about Valentine's
: Day, then just die like the scum you are. :) Otherwise, here's your
: chance to avoid reading everyone's posts about "what should I do for
: Valentine's Day???" that will start to pop up in the next 30 days.


Put 'em in your kill file.  Of course, you *could* unsubscribe for two or
three weeks, and spare yourself the agony.

: I am especially interested in what single people should do (since I am
: one). Humorous suggestions are very welcome. Here are the categories I
: am currently thinking about regarding classification:

Enjoying my single-ness by being by myself is always a good choice.  Look
at it this way - there's no one around to tell you what to do, or how messy
you are, or where you can go, what you can do, and who you can do it with.

Count your blessings - into each life a little rain must fall.  Sorry to rain
on your parade.  Setting followups to an unrelated newsgroup doesn't work,
either...

(BTW, when I fall in love next week I will, of course, repudiate this *entire*
post)...
-- 
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

"It is your resistance to 'what is' that causes your suffering."   -- Buddha
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.peeves
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Dangers OF SF Het Women
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 02:10:16 GMT

jennyg@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Well Paid in Name Only) writes:
] In article <1993Jan19.005937.15031@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
] 
] >Jenny"I have the Morals of a San Fransisco HetWoman"g
] 
] Hmmmm.....  What exactly ARE the morals of a San Francisco HetWoman?  I met
] several, and could determine no concensus.
] 
] Are you still upset that I didn't throw you to the ground and passionately
] have my way with you?  

Sounds Like you Basic SF_Het_Woman to me....

"Oh Look Ethal, a Het_boy, Let Us Have Our Wanton Ways with him..."

] Jenny "Not aware that I had morals at all" Gutbezahl

{and how DOES she pronounce that Name AnyWay????

ciao
drieux

ObPeeves: All those SF HetWomen trying to take 
advantage of Innocent Young HetBoys who would
rather be redesigning the Next State of the Art Compiler....




-- 
MajorModernDayProblems: 

sometimes, a thing will happen after another thing, 
and they may not be connected.....
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ron@turing.toronto.edu (Ron Wessels)
Subject: Re: Honesty, Your word, and Trust -- a crisis?
Organization: CSRI, University of Toronto
Date: 25 Jan 93 19:43:44 GMT

martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>   This reminds me of someone I know who has severe, debilitating attacks
>   of anal retentiveness; this tends to result in conversations along the
>   lines of
>	< deleted >
>
>Wow.  Who does this remind me of?

To be perfectly honest?  Me.  I'm glad to know I'm not the only person
that has discussions over whether "many" is more than "several", or who
proceeds to compute an approximate number when told that there are
"a ton of cats up for adoption".

-- 
Ron Wessels		University of Toronto		ron@turing.toronto.edu
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Credibility and Trueness
Date: 26 Jan 93 10:37:56
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
	<1993Jan26.023021.898@news.acns.nwu.edu>
	<1993Jan26.085352.7964@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: grover.cs.unc.edu
In-reply-to: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu's message of Tue, 26 Jan 93 08:53:52 GMT

In article <1993Jan26.085352.7964@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:

   Actually, I'm starting to get the distinct impression that there's an
   intelligent, entertaining, and interesting guy hiding beneath Ed's 
   thorny exterior--indeed, if he doesn't start working a lot harder at
   keeping others away, I may find myself liking him at any moment.

Ditto.  Actually, I've always suspected that he *might* be likable, and
he's clearly bright etc.  I've always felt a certain amount of
compassion for him, and sympathy.

	....

   What I still wonder about is why Ed appears to feel the need to keep
   others away so strongly--and so far he hasn't responded when I've asked
   him.  (Hiya, Ed, doncha love the way we're psychoanalyzing you behind
   your back right in front of you?)

I like Graydon's theory: he feels loathsome and so needs to behave to
match. 
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ted@cs.umn.edu (Ted Stockwell)
Subject: Re: Talking to shy friends?
Organization: Minnesota Hackers' Guild
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 17:21:15 GMT

In article <1993Jan23.023046.5077@nstn.ns.ca> GEN5021@Husky1.StMarys.Ca (JOHN SAKALAUSKAS) writes:
>
>   Does anyone have any advice about how to communicate effectively with
>   friends who are VERY shy, to the point of which they answer questions
>   with simple one-word answers. This makes it very difficult to keep
>   a form of conversation running smoothly.
>   Thanks in advance.
>   -john

They won't open up if they aren't comfortable, so don't pressure or
confront them.  It helps to have a safe neutral context -- a card game
or a walk through the zoo.  You can talk about what you are doing or
seeing and it is less threatening than a personal conversation.  They
must feel comfortable before they open up.  Ask  questions
that leave open longer answers; "what was he like?" instead of
"did you like him?".  

--
Ted Stockwell                                             ted@cs.umn.edu