From: cliff@sfn.ORG (R. Cliff Young)
Subject: Re: Ok kids... you got me...
Organization: Society for Neuroscience
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 16:52:59 GMT

In article <1992Apr11.023522.6533@uunet.uu.net>,
	dch@uunet.uu.net (Dan C. Horner [aka Blade]) lays it down,
	short and sweet:

>Guess what ?
>
>There are three things in life capable of getting me mad:
>
>1. Fucking with my friends

Yeah, let me tell you, it's no fun to be one of Blade's friends.  So
hard to hang onto a lover . . . much less get one in the first place .
. .

>2. Police with large guns saying "Spread em, son"

Notice that Blade specifically mentions that the police in question
have to have LARGE guns . . .

>3. and, you guessed it, insignificant blobs of protoplasm
>thinking they are hot shit and that they know me in some
>intimate fashion...

You know what's scary, Dan?  One can almost say that the i-blobs you
refer to are exhibiting the sorts of traits that one would find in the
most fanatic fans of more traditional celebrities (like movie or rock
stars).  Is this what's happening?  Are you developing <shudder> a
fandom?  And, question B, can you handle the celebrity?  And question
IV, why?

Maybe you should turn it into a religion while you have the chance,
and at least make some $$$$$ off these "intimate" acquaintances . . .

>Pardon me now, as I say, for all those not REALLY close to me,
>and attempting to be some sort of Blade-authority...

*** ADVERTEASEMENTS ***

BLADE: A TECHNICAL REFERENCE (Horrid Books, NY)
[ICBN 0-3825-3625-5]

(various authors; ed. Anonymous)

The essential handbook for all would-be Blade-authorities, this book
covers all aspects of Blade.  Includes a complete and
officially unauthorized autobiographical section covering Blade
from his conception through the present.  Also includes tips and
tricks for dealing with Blade, as well as numerous illustrations, many
of which portray what Blade has done to people that annoy him.
Enclosed in every book is a handy tear-out Blade Quick Reference Card,
in a size suitable for folding and placing in one's wallet or purse so
that Blade information may be kept handy wherever one goes.

Anticipated retail price: $59.95.



Also coming soon:

DEALING WITH BLADE (O'Righty & Ex-Soviets, Ltd.)
[ICBN 0-5455-3686-6]

(by A. Crerar, which should prove that he exists)

(an Oh My Nuts! Handbook)

The authoritative guide to talking and LISTENING to Blade.  Includes
sections dealing specifically with his presence on alt.romance.chat.
Numerous examples, with warnings conveniently emphasized in dripping
blood-red ink throughout.

Anticipated retail price: $26.00.

(This book should be available to OOH-OOH-NET! customers at a
discounted rate if they purchase it through OOH-OOH-NET!)

*** END ADVERTEASEMENTS ***

>FUCK YOU !

Ouch!  Hey, folkses, he be serious, I think.

>Ever the irrepressible,
>		Blade
>
>PS. I, of all people, have always said, talk to me, it is so
>very SAD that you cannot !

I *think* this was supposed to make sense.  Darn, and I left my
preview copy of DEALING WITH BLADE at home!  The subsection of
"Parsing Blade's Sentences" entitled "Dealing with Obscure Comma
Placement" would *really* be of service now . . .

Nuk
-- 
--/\/-- R. Cliff Young, SysAdmin, SFN -- cliff@sfn.ORG