HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: popec@unkaphaed.gbdata.com (William C. Barwell)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: WAY stupid things to do with guns (was self-i
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 92 03:55:57 GMT
Organization: Unka Phaed's UUCP Thingy, Houston, TX

joltes@husc10.harvard.edu (Richard Joltes) writes:

> dwight@locus.com writes:
> 
> [I wrote]
> 
> >|> Dick "doesn't rhyme with `volts'" Joltes 		joltes@husc.harvard.edu
> >
> >I never thought "Dick" rhymed with "volts" at all.  Oh.  You mean the other 
> >what does it rhyme with then?
> 
> Happily, not a blessed thing.  Although 90% of those surveyed (who also belie
> that 78.5% of all statistics are made up) seem to think that the "e" in my la
> name is silent; hence they tend to pronounce it as "Jolts."  No relation to
> the cola manufacturers, either, although I've considered pressing suit for 
> name similarity just to cause trouble.
> 
> >|> "Mind you, not as bad as the night Archie Pettigrew ate some
> >|> sheep's testicles for a bet...God, that bloody sheep kicked him..."
> >
> >I still get some great mental images whenever I see that one.
> >
> >	/dwight
> 
> I've received at least 20 messages commenting on that quote and asking for th
> source.  Interest is now high enough to warrant the advent of the Archie 
> Pettigrew Fan Club.  The membership fee is, of course, two-fifty, and the sol
> purpose of the group is to find the origin (if possible) of the quote so folk
> can calm down.
> 
> And no, I don't know where it came from.  I heard the joke years ago and foun
> it again in a quotes file 'bout 3 years back.  The rest is history...
> 
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Dick "achieving net.godhood along with Kibo, but I doubt I'll ever found my
> own religion" Joltes					joltes@husc.harvard.edu
> Hardware & Networking Manager, Computer Services 	joltes@husc.bitnet 
> Harvard University Science Center
> 
> "Mind you, not as bad as the night Archie Pettigrew ate some
> sheep's testicles for a bet...God, that bloody sheep kicked him..."


While we are on the subject.....

Houston Chronicle Dec 27, 1992

PIG CASTRATED DENTALLY

Harmony, Tx - An East texas school board voted to fire Dick Pirkey
an agriculture teacher, after one of his students used his teeth to 
castrate a pig during class.
  Testimony before the harmony School Board reavealed that a 16 year old 
special education student orally castrated the pig in Pirkey's class.
  Pirkey took photos during and after the the pig was castrated.

Don't blame me.  I just post this stuff, I don't write it.

Pope Charles   SubGenius Pope Of Houston   "Pictures at eleven."
Houston is NOT considered to be part of East Texas.

--
popec@unkaphaed.gbdata.com (William C. Barwell)
Unka Phaed's UUCP Thingy, Houston, TX, (713) 943-2728
After December 31, (713) 481-3763
1200/2400/9600/14400 v.32bis/v.42bis
From: joltes@husc10.harvard.edu (Richard Joltes)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Walking Between Rain Drops !!!!
Date: 30 Dec 92 15:49:44 GMT
Organization: Harvard University Science Center

klg@panda.mc.duke.edu (Kim Greer -- rjj) writes:
>ocr@orasrv.cit.dubna.su (Constantin F. Ocrainets) writes:
>>
>>Old joke:
>>two drunk go out to piss.
>>	- Is it raining ?
>>	- No, it's wind ...
>>-- 
>> Const. Ocrainets
>
>Another old joke:
>two drunks walking along the railroad tracks
>1st drunk:  "Boy, this sure is a long set of stairs".
>2nd drunk:  "Yea, but it wouldn't be so bad if the handrails weren't so low".

And yet another...

Two drunks are walking across a bridge, each extolling the size of their 
manhood.  They both stop midway across to piss into the river below.  Midway
through it all the first says "boy, that water down there's cold!"

The second replies "yeah, and it's deep too."

Okay, it's a "guy thing..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dick "if you have to explain it the joke's not funny" Joltes
 							joltes@husc.harvard.edu
Hardware & Networking Manager, Computer Services 	joltes@husc.bitnet 
Harvard University Science Center

"Mind you, not as bad as the night Archie Pettigrew ate some
sheep's testicles for a bet...God, that bloody sheep kicked him..."
From: Brian.Milner@brunel.ac.uk (Brian D Milner)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Tramp / Axe Murderer Story
Date: 21 Dec 92 15:14:29 GMT
Organization: Brunel University, West London, UK

Once I went drinking with an American student who was doing a work 
placement with our firm while studying in London (UK). We had a good time,
and weaved our way back to his flat to crash out.

His flat was at the top of a stairwell. The stairwell was inadequately lit
by bulbs that were frequently out of order. His door was double, an 
*unlockable* door, then a gap, then a *lockable* door.

When we reached the top of the stairwell it was pitch black. He was fumbling 
with the keys when we found we were treading on a bundle of rags that 
someone had left in the gap between the doors. The bundle started to swear
and make some really disgusting noises - it seemed to be a drunk tramp /
axe murderer crashed out on the doorstep.

The door opened outwards, but somehow we forced it open, fled inside, and
locked the hideous apparition out. The tramp / axe murderer was flailing 
around, vomiting, farting and spitting. We were terrified. If there had 
been a phone in the flat we would have called the cops. The student had
been to Germany recently, and smuggled back a butterfly knife - now he 
put it to good use, flicking it around and around, and muttering that he'd
'take the face off' anyone who tried to mess with him.

I hope you've found this exiting, because this next bit is a bit 
anticlimatic. When the tramp / axe murderer sobered up enough to be
intelligible (it was about 3am by this time), he proved to be a friend 
of another student from the same flat. After He'd pleaded with us through 
the letterbox for a while, we let him in. There was no vomit or mucus
generally on the doorstep, he'd just been very drunk and snoring in a#
horrible fashion.

        You can understand our suspicious natures, though. Earlier on that
evening we'd been going down the Earls Court Road, and someone had thrown
a turd in a paper bag at us from a hotel window. But that's another 
story ...

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
|Brian Milner, The Computer Centre, Brunel University , West London, UK  |
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
|brian.milner@brunel.ac.uk | Failed films #27 -  The Sound of Mucus      |
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Subject: Re: asteroids beyond Jupiter
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 19:28:07 GMT

jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu (J. Furr) writes:
: >: >
: >Guess I will have to do some study of the recent research. Do you have some
: >cites to simplify my astronomical task?
: 
: Well, yes. I've been trying to get into a library to get actual books to
: cite from, but they're all closed here at Va. Tech for the holiday.  You
: claim that all true asteroids orbit between Mars and Jupiter.  Then, I ask
: you, what about the asteroids that show up in the papers zooming past
: Earth every so often?  Every year or so they tell us that another one came

No - I never did make such a claim. My definition of asteroid is: any object
that originated in the asteroid belt. I claim that such an object could not
be captured by a planet - without undergoing a serious kinetic energy loss
somewhere.

: within a million miles.  Furthermore, although the name of the asteroid
: class escapes me while I'm unable to get at books, there is a whole class
: of asteroids that spends most of their time out around Saturn and beyond,
: in highly elliptical orbits that infrequently bring them in nearer the
: Sun.

Ok, you now have asteroids that have been perturbed out to around the
orbit of Saturn. Keep going, you have got 1/3rd the way to Neptune.

:       Saturn and Jupiter now have so many moons verified as orbiting them
: that it's not big news anymore.  Each has ten or so tiny rocks that used
: to be asteroids orbiting way out.  From what I recall reading in astronomy

Do you have some documentation for this? I suppose, for Jupiter and Saturn,
it might be possible to capture an asteroid - since they have enough moons
to possibly cause enough energy loss.  However, I am still cynical.

: books, some of these will orbit their gas giant for a few million years
: and then escape again.

Where are they going to get the energy to do so?

:                         Pluto's "moon", however, doesn't strike me as a
: likely asteroid capture because Pluto just wouldn't have the gravitational
: pull to snag something nearly as large as itself and keep it there.

That is not the major problem - the problem is: where would sufficient
energy be shed - the same is true for the supposition that Pluto was
captured by Neptune.

Bill
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.food.cooking
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Cheese popcorn
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 03:54:54 GMT

In article <1992Dec22.213606.22305@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:

>BTW-why is this in AFU?  What is flan?
                                  ^^^^
And more importantly, can you run TCP/IP on it?

cj "how many nodes in your flan?" l
(I prefer Mexican custard with caramel.)

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
From: nigel@kathunk.phaedrav.on.ca (Nigel M Burnett)
Subject: Re: Mnemonics
Organization: as little as possible
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 20:16:39 GMT

Eric Kuhnen (eric@wdl35.wdl.loral.com) wrote:
: >Along with mnemonics, how about the one for the resistor color code?
: 
: Bad   Boys  Rape Our   Young  Girls, But Violet Goes Willingly
: 
: Black Brown Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Violet Gray White (I think)

Batman Blows Robin Over Yonder Gotham Bridge - Very Gooey Mess.


Nigel (someone had to say it) Burnett


-- 
The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of
a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others.  His own
good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant.   John Stuart Mill

Nigel Burnett: 78 Normandy Blvd, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, M4L 3K3 416-690-1834
Send e-mail to nigel@kathunk.phaedrav.on.ca or try uunet.ca!kink!kathunk!nigel
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Subject: Re: Travelling Lawn Ornament on A Current Affair
Reply-To: warren@nysernet.org
Organization: Mail to News Gateway at Wang Labs
Date: Sun, 27 Dec 1992 09:01:24 GMT
Keywords: travelling,lawn,ornament,shenanigan

This appeared in the Jerusalem Post (which also printed the exploding
toilet dropped stretcher story) on Oct 18 1989 (at least the mail
message that I sent to someone on that date says it was from that
day's message:

    Thieves with a penchant for travel recently returned a wooden
    rabbit used as a lawn ornament along with 48 photos showing
    the rambling rabbit in such far-off locales as Reno, Nevada,
    and the Virgin Islands.

    The rabbit was taken from the lawn of Harry and Louise West's
    Reistertown, Maryland, home.  It reappeared eight months
    later, propped on the windshield of their car next to a bag of
    photographs.

    `There are all kinds of pictures.  One where he's building a
    sand castle.  One where he's looking at the bus station.  One
    at the airport,' said Louise West.

    `We were angry for a while, but then we just forgot about the
    missing rabbit,' she said.

    The location was written on the back of each photograph along
    with the initials SBR - presumably for Stolen Bunny Rabbit.

    The rabbit went west to Utah, Missouri, and Nevada, then back
    east to New York, Philadelphia and Atlantic City.  Then on to
    Maryland, North Carolina, Florida's Disney World, Bermuda and
    St. Thomas.

    The well-traveled hare was even photographed with Baltimore
    Mayor Kurt Schmoke, who is shown holding it.

    `How in the world the person got the mayor to pose with the
    rabbit, I can't imagine.' West said.
-- 
/|/-\/-\       In real life, the Vice President chastises Murphey Brown
 |__/__/_/     for her morals.  Bill Clinton plays the sax on "Arsenio
 |warren@      Hall."  Though "Batman Returns" is fiction, it's not too
/ nysernet.org much stranger than truth - Caryn James, The New York Times
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc,talk.bizarre
From: bs24@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Bruce Sarte)
Subject: Re: Walking Between Rain Drops !!!!
Reply-To: bs24@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Bruce Sarte)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 13:03:27 GMT

In article <BznAC9.DML@cantua.canterbury.ac.nz> mike@elec.canterbury.ac.nz (Cosmik Debris) writes:
>In article <1992Dec21.211033.9241@news.columbia.edu>, bs24@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Bruce Sarte) writes:
>> 	I am somewhat new to this news thread and do not know if this
>> 	is a new or old subject, but some my colleagues and I have
>> 	recently started a discussion about the rain.  We have pondered
>> 	in what way can you not get hit by rain drops ???
>> 
>> 	Some of the issues we have been discussing are:
>> 
>> 	- if you run through the rain, do you get wetter since 
>> 	  you will obviously get hit by more rain drops, or do you 
>> 	  stay drier since you will spend less time in the rain ??
>> 
>> 	- what effect does the rain have on this if the rain comes
>> 	  down consistently or when it varies ??
>> 
>> 
>> 	Any new views on this would be interesting !!!
>> 
>> Bruce
>> 
>> 
>An umbrella solves the problem.

	What is this "umbrella" thing ???

>-- 
>Cosmik Debris -- "I owe money, therefore I am"


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: pjd@unislc.uucp (Priscilla Davidson)
Subject: Re:    Skyscraper FALLS DOWN.
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 21:37:47 GMT

From article <92356.223300MIWHC@CUNYVM.BITNET>, by <MIWHC@CUNYVM.BITNET>:
>      Can this be substantiated? I read in an architectural trade mag that
> the World Trade Center is extremely unstable due to the fact that it is built
> on landfill. 

     [parts deleted]

>      BUT, can one of them actually fall down? The thought of a mountain
> of steel, glass, office equipment and attourneys splatting all over Battery
> Park is terrifying, but somehow also strangely compelling.
> 
What a terrible waste of steel, glass, and office equipment that would be!

Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31823 rec.arts.startrek.misc:12958 talk.bizarre:42716
From: twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Walking Between Rain Drops !!!!
Date: 22 Dec 1992 07:16:22 GMT
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department
Reply-To: TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.12.117

bs24@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Bruce Sarte) writes:

  +	Some of the issues we have been discussing are:
  +
  +	- if you run through the rain, do you get wetter since 
  +	  you will obviously get hit by more rain drops, or do you 
  +	  stay drier since you will spend less time in the rain ??
  +
  +	- what effect does the rain have on this if the rain comes
  +	  down consistently or when it varies ??

Coincidentally or not, Cecil Adams wrote a response to a similar
query.  There was a study mentioned in that fountain of wisdom,
_Discover_ magazine several years ago which referred to a study
by Alessandro DeAngelis of the University of Udine (Italy).  He
considered a situation where a sprinter ran at 22.4 m.p.h. vs.
a brisk stroller who walked at 6.7 m.p.h.  His conclusion was that
the sprinter would get 10% less wet, therefore sprinting is not
worth the effort.

Through his own comments and experiments, Cecil concluded that
DeAngelis was "crackbrained."  There was some consideration of
"head" drops vs. "chest" drops and that you would get hit by 
the "chest" drops in any case (as would the "head" drops, but 
there's no question there).  Skipping the details of his trials 
with red construction paper on a rainy day on his street, Cecil
concludes that you are significantly (i.e., more than the 10%
of DeAngelis) drier if you run.  

Cecil does point out that he was unable to find the paper (a 
check on "Current Contents" in the UC library database also 
turns up nothing).  This column ran in the 11 December 1992 
_East Bay Express_ (Oakland, CA).


Terry "How about hail?" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division   | Internet:  TWChan@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory      | 
Berkeley, California  USA  94720  | Carpe per diem
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: Skyscraper FALLS DOWN.
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 1992 21:33:08 GMT

kieran@world.std.com (Aaron L Dickey) writes:
>I'm certainly no engineer, but I always heard that either a) the WTC
>towers were built on bedrock, or b) have unbelievable amounts of support
>underground.  Whether either or both is true, I dunno.
>

I'm no geologist, and I've never been to NYC, but, the WTC is
built on bedrock.  Midtown has bedrock, as does the financial district.
The area in between largely isn't suitable to skyscrapers.  The geology
of Manhattan Island was largely determined toward the end of the last
ice age.  The southernmost limit of the galcier was near there.

ObNYCUL: US Grant is not the only person Interred in Grant's Tomb.

Jon "Pittsburgh has more bridges than New York" Papai
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Subject: Re: extreme strength (was: mom lifting car..)
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 09:58:08 GMT

dannyb@panix.com (Daniel Burstein) writes:
:   
: One of our more worrisome calls is dealing with a patient who is in a
: (usually) drug induced psychotic, i.e. crazily mad and violent, state. 
: (no flames please about the imprecise language, I'm writing this for the
: normal? folk in netland)
:   
: Visualize a person being held down flat on the floor by five people (one
: on each arm and leg, one on the center), then watch as this person
: cheerfully raises said arm, with 200 pound paramedic sitting on it.  watch
: paramedic thrown into the air.

I seriously doubt this. Muscles and ligaments would tear before this could
occur.

Yes, I was a medic - I have worked with my share of violent people. They
have never been able to do any such "superhuman" act.

... delided ...

: Hmm, let's see how this equates into a car:  figure that to lift a car off
: someone you need approx 750 lbs of lift (a typical car these days weighs
: about 3,000 pounds, but you're shifting weight onto the other wheels..)

Nope. You still are lifting at least half the weight of the vehicle. There
are not many people who can lift 1500 lbs - even in panic situation. The
only way this would happen is if the auto was balanced on the frame or
some other part of the auto so the weight was being supported near the
center of the car.

: can a person lift this much? It wouldn't surprise me.  Have I ever seen
: this? no.  But again, I've seen things that come pretty close. 

Maybe a professional weightlifter could do so.

: Ever carry someone on your back?  Figure on that being 200 pounds.  Ever
: pull someone up a climbing rope or ladder?  well, that's your two hundred,
: plus their two hundred.  

No, never have. Maybe there are people who can pull another 200 pounds up
a rope, but they are far and few between. The mechanical advantage would be
much better, the ligaments would probably survive - if the muscle didn't
tear.

Bill
From: Larry.Mc.Donald@ofa123.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: ethnicity & soc.secu
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 28 Dec 92  11:24:00

  <MIWHC@CUNYVM.BITNET>

> The story I heard is that the 1950s era government rigged the social
> security system so that any government agent or knowledgeable employer
> or banker could tell the ethnicity of someone by the middle two
> numbers. An -06-, -52-, -32-, -12- or any other EVEN middle number
> belongs to Blacks, Hispanics, Jews, Asians, etc. Any ODD middle number
> (e.g.  -67-, -43-, -07-) shows its owner to be a WASP of reasonably
> pure upbringing. I asked around and could find very few odd middle
> numbers. My results: 
> * EVERY even-numbered peson was either, Black, Hispanic, Jewish,
> Asian, Roman Catholic, Greek, or other Eastern European.
> * EVERY odd-numbered person I found was white. A few were half
> Jewish or half Roman Catholic.

   I was born a roman catholic and I have an odd (41) number. My 
wife is Indonesian and is also odd (77) {No comments!}.





... Larry.Mc.Donald, N6ZMB, Fullerton, California!  <cough, cough>
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.10

--- Maximus 2.01wb
From: dst@hardy.u.washington.edu (Dale Tanigawa)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: African-American-top
Date: 2 Jan 1993 13:51:37 GMT
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
NNTP-Posting-Host: hardy.u.washington.edu

In article <mjenkins.725757417@cunews> mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson) writes:
>My father told me about a colleague who was writing a book. The editor
>of the book was very PC and decided that the professor couldn't use
>the word "black" when referring to African-Americans. So the editor
>simply used a "search-and-replace" command to search for every "black"
>reference and replace it with "African-American."
>
>Unfortunately, this resulted in "blacktop" (as in asphalt) becoming
>"African-Americantop", a "black-and-white issue" becoming an
>"African-American-and-white issue", etc.

The Seattle Times carried a similar blurb in its "humorous asides" section
where they reported that another newspaper (don't remember which one) had
printed a correction, saying that the phrase "back in the African-American"
was supposed to be "back in the black" (talking about the economy or
something like that).

I also saw a Seattle Times correction to the effect that "yesterday Harbor"
was supposed to be "Friday Harbor" (an actual place name) and that the
error was introduced by a search-and-replace operation in editing a story
for a later edition of the paper.
From: mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: FAQ: Sinking University libraries
Date: 24 Dec 92 16:11:26 GMT
Organization: Carleton University

The University of Manitoba's Education faculty moved their library a
few years ago from the first floor to the basement of the building
because of cracks developing in the library floor due to the weight of
the books.

I was attending the U of M at the time.

Michael
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jvarley@crash.cts.com (J.J. Varley)
Subject: Something in the FAQ list...
Organization: CTS Network Services (crash, ctsnet), El Cajon, CA
Date: 03 Jan 93 04:34:09 PST
Summary: Expires: 

 I just got done going over the FAQ list myself, and I found one that I
should comment on...It was "Fb. Flashing your headlights on and off will speed up a stoplight" This is correct, but there is more to it.  On the majority of stoplights, there is a sensor somewhere on the stoplight, and this is used by fire engines, ambulances, etc... The strobe light on those things does more than just blind you and nearly run you off the road, it is at a precise Mhz, and when the sensor picks it up, the lights change.  I read somewhere that it was possible to take a strobe light and set i


t to the proper Mhz, or some strobe lights (like one I saw in radio shack a while ago) can be adjusted with a knob to do this.  If someone already babbled about this, then let me babble with them. 

J.j. "Everyone else signs off like this so I will too" Varley



Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban