From: backpack@access.digex.com (Stuart Reges)
Subject: Have you submitted to the will of God?
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, Maryland USA
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 15:24:50 GMT

I'm a new reader of this newsgroup, so I apologize if this question has been
posed before (yes, I read the FAQ file).  I'm curious to find out how many
atheists and agnostics have truly opened their hearts to God.  The question
might sound inane, but I don't think it is.  Let me explain.

I come from a strong Christian background, but I would call myself an atheist
(I was an agnostic for a while when a friend asked me how I could be sure, but
then I went back to being an atheist when I realized that I couldn't be sure
that the moon isn't crawling with millions of green men either, yet I have no
problem disbelieving that).

Nevertheless, I don't dismiss religion and those who believe in it as silly.
At the very least, their belief shows something important about human nature,
even if I don't agree with them.  So I like to listen to religious people and
try to take them seriously.

I watched the "700 Club" for several months, and I was bothered by something
that I couldn't quite define.  Then I watched a movie called "The Rapture" that
helped me see what was disturbing me.  Many Christians believe that Jesus will
not come into our lives until we submit to God's will.  In looking back over my
own life, I can honestly report that I have never submitted to God's will.  I
suppose I would have submitted to just about anything at age 8 or 9, but I
don't think that counts.

This is difficult to put into words, but let me try.  It has to do with the
fact that Christianity extends religious obligation to the realm of thoughts.
Jesus was quite innovative in saying that not only deeds, but thoughts
themselves can constitute sin.  I grew up in one of the most thought-oriented
sects of Christianity (Christian Science, which believes that sickness is
healed by correcting thought, not by medicine).  As a result, I've been taught
that true spirituality has much more to do with our consciousness than with our
actions.

When I was a child, I found it difficult even to pray.  God never spoke to me
and I found it difficult to keep up the pretense that someone or something was
listening (it was easy to keep up the physical pretense of closing my eyes and
bowing my head, but if God knows your thoughts, the important thing is what
you're thinking about while praying).  Later in my life I would hear Christians
say that their life wasn't changed until they welcomed Jesus into their hearts.
Well, what exactly does that mean?  I believe my life would improve in many
ways if Jesus revealed himself to me, and I can imagine that I would be
overjoyed to find that Jesus really is God.  At the very least, I would be less
troubled by questions about the meaning of life and what constitutes virtue.
In that sense I have welcomed Jesus into my heart.  But I would characterize
that more as welcoming Jesus as a comforter or revealing himself on my terms
rather than his terms.

But when I think about the possibility of submitting my will to that of Jesus
or any other entity claiming to be God, I cringe.  If Jesus came not as a
comforter but as a master, I would not welcome him.  I can only imagine how I
would react in extremely hypothetical situations, but I tend to think that even
if Jesus offered me convincing proof that he was God and that I would spend an
eternity in Hell if I did't submit to his will, I think I would remain defiant.
I think there is something degrading and base about saying, "Thy will be done,"
and I don't think I could ever bring myself to that point.  That is what I mean
when I say that I have not opened my heart to Jesus (at least, Jesus as
master).  My Christian friends can rightly claim that I haven't really given
Jesus a chance because of my stubborn pride and if they end up being right and
God asks me for an accounting of my life on Judgement Day, I'll probably argue
with him that his requirements are unreasonable.

To explain this a bit further, I invented a scenario.  Suppose that this entire
solar system was created by some alien family from Andromeda as a vacation
getaway far from the hustle and bustle of Andromedan life.  Maybe they come
here once every 2000 years for a break and they have a bit of fun each time by
playing with the gene pool of their creations or inventing a new species or
two.  But they miscalculated when they created these humans.  They turned out
to have a higher level of consciousness than anticipated, and the family isn't
too pleased with the results.  Maybe the last time they were here they even
tried to steer the humans down a different path by communicating with a
particular one, a guy named Jesus, and telling him the philosophy they'd rather
see the humans live by. And maybe they told this Jesus character to mention
that there would be a second coming (this was later called the Judgement Day),
and unless humanity showed significant signs of improvement, there would be
grave consequences.  Anyway, the 2000 years are up and the family is back and
they are even more appalled than they were before.  So they prove to all of us
that they are in fact our creators and then they tell us to all go kill
ourselves.  Would all the good Christians say, "Thy will be done," and go shoot
themselves?  I know I wouldn't.

I guess I have a strong personal sense of justice, and I think that once a
sentient being has achieved a certain level of consciousness, it has rights
whether its creator approves or not.  I refuse to be a slave, even to an
omnipotent being.  I guess you could say that Satan is my role model.   :-)

What about the rest of you?

+---------------+---------------------------------------------------------+
|  b	  p	| Stuart Reges (target uSeRs?)	backpack@access.digex.com |
|   a	   a	|							  |
|    c	    c	| You've gotta live, live, live!  Life is a banquet and   |
|     k	     k	| most poor suckers are starving to death.  --Auntie Mame |
+---------------+---------------------------------------------------------+