From: rlebeau@cats.ucsc.edu (Robert Charles Lebeau)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: for play
Date: 12 Oct 1992 09:18:40 GMT
Organization: University Of California Slug Children
NNTP-Posting-Host: si.ucsc.edu


>>Two things; one, the "<blush>" factor is diminished if the subject
>>(nay, the object) has actually been aired ahead of time.
>
>What object would that be, Mike? <flutter of eyelashes>
>
>>just meant that some people encounter this moment as a "barrier"
>>of some kind, where they feel unwilling to risk killing the
>>oh-so-fragile moment with some words (or other communication).
>
>Yeah, right. You're willing to sleep with someone, but not to talk. I can
>*almost* see this by changing into SuperQueer, diving out of the closet with
>my underpants over my trousers and declaiming that all those folks out there
>succumbing to their terrible urges have lots of hormones and no brains.
>
>But not quite. Communication and sex are so intimately linked for me that
>I can't see it being terribly difficult to raise the issue of latex. Barrier
>methods have always been my mode of contraception, though, and that came with
>the sexual territory: no latex, no heterosexual penile-vaginal games. The
>rest of the gamut of sex, well, most of my partners are equally clued in to
>the joys of latex... and those who aren't, soon get acquainted with such.
>
>>ridiculous.  If y'can't communicate in your sex, what *are* you
>>doing in it?  Masturbating?  [General you, of course, T :-) ]
>
>huh! I masturbate as well as the next person |-)
>
>>A phonecall or somesuch can wreck a mood, 
>
><trrring trrring> "Hiya, whatcha doing?" "Oh, nothing..."
>
>Tanaqui
>
	In all of my vast expierence ( 2 whole relationships that
progressed to intercourse) condom use was assumed by both
parties (unfortunately so far all my sexual expierence has been
limited to twosomes) and wasn't directly discussed before hand.  But even
though this was assumed by both of us, I still have had one very ackward
"condom" moment.  
	It was my first time, and it was the second day
after moving in the dorms at college, and much to my surprise
I found myself being outgoing and self-confident, and developing
a slight relationship with a person (I love being non-gender specific)          who lived down the hall.  So the next day I went to the
store and purchased a box of condoms.  And just in time, because
later that night things quickly progressed to the point where
a condom would be needed.  It was just then that much to my horror I
realized I had left the bag with the condoms in my car which was parked
about 100 yards away.  I would have to say that putting on a pair of
shorts then running through my college with no shirt or shoes on, across
rough pavement during the middle of the night definately "spoiled" 
the mood.  Fortunately when I got back we sort
of started over again and this second time the condom
moment was really easy. 
	Although I have never had to discuss condom use with any of my
2 partners before the act, I personally don't think that
communitcation between partners makes sex anymore ackward.  In fact one of my
favorite times to talk was when lying in bed naked and just sort of 
fondling/being fondled (makes for great conversations).

--- Robert
 
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Robert LeBeau--> rlebeau@cats.ucsc.edu  "A celibate bi-sexual for
					 over a year. (Not by choice)"
"witty quote goes here" -- some famous or obscure source
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