HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: cowan@aqua.ocunix.on.ca (D. Cowan (Postmaster))
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Clams
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 92 12:31:45 GMT
Organization: The Aquarium, Ottawa, Ontario


Once, there were these two clams, Sam and Sally.  Sam and Sally were VERY
romantically involved, and they did everything together.  They partied and
they danced, and they had lots of safe clam sex.  One day, a big mean
starfish came along and killed them both.  Sally, being the good little clam
that she was, went straight to Heaven.  Sam, being not such a good clam all
his life went to the netherworlds.

Sally was distraught.  All her life she had been with Sam and she really loved
him.  It was not to be now, because for eternity they would now be separated.
Sally moped around Heaven, day after day.  She cried every time she thought
about Sam, which was often.  She sat by the gates of Heaven hoping that maybe
Sam would get to come to heaven.  Time went on and on and still there was no
Sam.  Other clams tried to cheer her up but all she thought about was Sam.
Sally just sat, with her sad face, playing sad songs on her harp (Everyone
gets a harp in heaven, even clams)

God was wandering around and took notice of this saddened little clam.
"What's the matter Sally?" He asked, "this is Heaven, you should be happy
here."

"Well, God", Sally replied, "I really miss Sam Clam.  We were in love, but
when that starfish came along, Sam went to Hell and I cam here.  Not that
I don't like being here, but I do so miss Sam.  I wish I could visit him."

God pondered for a second.  "Very well, Sally.  You may go visit Sam in Hell,
but you must follow these instructions"  Sally brightened immediately. "First,
you must be back my midnight.  Second, you must take your harp.  Third you
must not forget to return with your harp."

Sally beamed with joy, thanked God, and started down to visit Sam.
Arrangements had already been made to let her in when she got to Hell.  Sam
met her at the gate.  The lovers embraced, and they ran to Sam's place.  Sam
had been a busy clam in Hell, and now had his own disco.  He had been a
partier before but now! Sam's disco was the hottest place in Hell.

Sam and Sally danced and partied and had a great time.  Sally looked up at
the clock - time had flown and it was 11:59.  She gave Sam a little kiss and
ran for Heaven.  She had to get back by midnight.

She got to the gate just in time, but St. Peter wouldn't let her in.  He
asked her where her harp was.  Sally looked around and realised she had
forgotten it at Sam's.

"Well?" St. Peter glared.

"Well, sir, I guess I LEFT MY HARP IN SAM CLAM'S DISCO"




==============================================================================
                      cowan@aqua.ocunix.on.ca
  The Aquarium BBS  (613)736-1481  2400-14400 bps  V.32bis  V.42bis  HST
==============================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kwfriber@mtu.edu (Kenberg Frieth)
Subject: Re: Bathroom humor
Organization: Michigan Technological University
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 16:01:09 GMT

In article <51754@dime.cs.umass.edu> corinne@freya.cs.umass.edu (Corinne J. Roy) writes:
>
>>Seen on a toilet wall.
>
>>When this tiolet cleaner finally dies,
>>he will find erected in the skies,
>>a tribute to his glorious wit,
>>a monument of solid shit.
>
>>Any other toilet poetry anyone?
>
>>Gaz
>
>I remember seeing this written on the library bathroom
>wall when I was a little kid...
>
>Here I sit 
>Broken hearted
>Tried to shit
>But only farted
>
When I saw it, it was a bit different:
Here I sit
all broken hearted
paid to shit
but only farted

And after it, in different handwriting:

You're lucky
you had your chance
I tried to fart,
and shit my pants!

Another one:

No matter how you move
or how you dance,
the last drop always winds up
in your pants.

Ken Friberg

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dp35@mc1adm.UWaterloo.ca (Greg Moore)
Subject: Re: Food Vending Machines
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 18:08:30 GMT

>|> >|> : >|> >>>>> Did Mike get his 50 cents back from the vending company?
>|> >|> : >|> >>>>Hey, we don't know that he never got his soda...
>|> >|> : >|> >>>I'm sure that either way, he was crushed.
>|> >|> : >|> >>But was it orange or grape?
>|> >|> : >|> >Don't know, but by the time he got to
>|> >|> : >|> >drink it, it had gone flat.
>|> >|> : >|> And when he got back to his cubicle, his boss canned him.
>|> >|> : >I think it was a Diet drink, he was looking pretty thin.
>|> >|> : No. No. No.  He was canned because he was
>|> >|> : spreading himself too thin.  And it wasn't
>|> >|> : a diet drink, it was a crash diet.
>|> >|> Oh, i thought it was an orange crush!
>|> >Yea, it was a diet orange crush, but it was flat, real flat.
>|> I guess I'm IMPRESSED that this thread has continued for sooooo long.
>|>Not as long as the can had been lying in the machine though
>Not as long as Mike had been lying under the machine.
>Well, OK.  Partially in the machine, too.

(That's better!)

   And then a cop came buy and a guy was crying.  So he Jolted him, and
said "Jus Spriten up".  We'll get the RCmp involved.  Then they left and
the cop said "OK Pep si you later."  BTW watch out for that Ginger Rail
on the way.  I guess you soda saw that comin though.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: stud7b43@bmerh72.bnr.ca (Steve Keppel-Jones)
Subject: Re: Net Malapropisms
Reply-To: stud7b43@bmerh72.bnr.ca (Steve Keppel-Jones)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 92 16:30:35 GMT

I'm uphauled!  This display of ignorance is just the kind of thing that
anyone with a social conscious is ashamed of.  Education today is clearly
willfully inadequate, and has been since time in memorial.  People are
always ready to blame things on an escaped goat, but for all intensive
purposes, it's a doggy-dog world.  Complaints about the school system are
all for not.  And the problem seems to be increasing expidentially!

These are the sort of people that could start a new, clear war, and you
can just forget about a seize-fire then.  Some may say that the decline
of education is just an old wise tale, but they're too one-track mined.

If you don't believe me, look at the warning on an AutoShade someday.
It says that the shade must be removed before driving the car.  Supposably
people can't figure this out for themselves!  Maybe the warning is just
for those with a stigmatism.  Or maybe it's to protect the manufacturer from
the statue of limitations.

The under-line meaning of all this is clear, but don't take a fence: this is
just my too cents worth.  Anyway, it's a mute point.

:)
--
Steve Keppel-Jones              //   ___ 
 stud7b43@bnr.ca            \\ //   /__/ ____   o _,  __. 
 sdkeppel@descartes \        \X/   /  (_/) ) )_(_(_)_(_(_ 
 .uwaterloo.ca                                   __)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: tjg01@thdhub.HomeDepot.COM (Terry Gardner)
Subject: one liners
Organization: The Home Depot, Inc.
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 19:50:02 GMT

Some time back, I saw a post with a long list of one liners in it,
like the line in my .sig. Could whoever please re-post?


-- 
"VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win, you can use UNIX".
terry@HomeDepot.COM			          Terry J. Gardner


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gray@hawkmoon.mn.org (Bill Gray)
Subject: Re: Gun control (was Re: democratic platform)
Keywords: joke, very funny, haha, etc.
Organization: Demi-Public System (One of the Eternal Champions); Eagan, MN, 55123-2507, USA
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 19:49:45 GMT

johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:

>Hmmm. Did they have rocket launchers and semi-automatic rifles when the
>second amendment was passed?  Just wondering?

Interesting question.  Suppose that they had no such items (even though
they did), and that therefore, they are not protected by the Second
Amendment.

Therefore, following your precedent, the First Amendment does not protect
electronic media or churches formed after its drafting.  The Third Amendment
means that National Guard troops can be quartered in your home (there was
no National Guard--a component of the Regular Army, Air Force, and Navy,
not the militia) at the time of its drafting.  The Fourth Amendment
does not protect you from electronic wiretapping, nor does it protect your
computer files on your personal computer, since neither phones nor
computers existed when it was drafted.  The Fifth Amendment does not protect
your phones, air conditioners, cars, computers or other technological 
devices from government seizure and use since none of them existed. . .

I think you can see that this is not a trend you really want to start.

If you really want to study the issue of gun control and whether it really
can and does deliver on its many promises, read t.p.g for a while, or
write the NRA and ask them their side of the issue.  Getting all your
input on this issue fromt he major media is a lot like making your decisions
about affirmative action or welfare after listening only to David Duke.

Bill
-- 
gray@hawkmoon.mn.org
This site gets a fair news feed, but e-mail is more reliable. . . :-(
"Veni, vidi, vomiti!"  -- the ghost of Tom Jefferson on reading the Brady Bill
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mccalley@rtsg.mot.com (Phil McCalley)
Subject: Re: POLACK JOKES
Keywords: degenerate, slimeball, grandparents, sex, duct tape 
Organization: Motorola Inc., Cellular Infrastructure Group
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 23:08:33 GMT

hamling@mdcbbs.com (Griff Hamlin III) writes:

>In article <1992Aug16.071713.22894@gagme.chi.il.us>, anton@gagme.chi.il.us (Andrzej Borowiec) writes:
>|> 
>|> In article <1992Aug10.151300.2492@mdcbbs.com> hamling@mdcbbs.com (Griff Hamlin III) writes:
>|> >
>|> 
>|> Polish jokes deleted
>|> 
>|> 
>|> >Griff Hamlin III
>|> >(hamling@mdcbbs.com)
>|> 
>|> Say Griff, I didn't know lowlifes like you had dynasties.
>|> Or does "III" mean having sex with ones grandmother or grandfather?
>|> 
>|> Andrzej A. Borowiec
>|> 
>|> p.s. I'm really getting tired of you buttheads not x-posting
>|> Polish jokes to soc.culture.polish

>This is really pathetic. Are you really such a tight-ass that you can't realize
>I was only posting in response to a request for Polish jokes? If you get 
>offended by such jokes, why did you read the damn post you moron?! Even I
>know to read the Subject: heading before reading the article.


Now why would someone named Andrzej Borowiec be offended by a Polish joke?

And Griff (which could be a subject of humor in and of itself) only needs
his father and grandfather to be named Griff (cruel joke) to be III.  You
see, grampa Griff is Griff, Sr.  Papa Griff is Griff, Jr.  That leaves
baby Griff.  We call that Griff, III.  

And dont try to pick on me for prejuduce, my significant other was
Miss Polynaise 1990.
-- 
....................................................... Phil McCalley
From: mehdizadeh@asl.slb.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Joke for the day
Date: 18 Aug 92 17:52:42 GMT
Reply-To: mehdizadeh@asl.slb.com
Organization: Schlumberger/Anadrill Sugar Land, TX

A woman was on her honeymoon after her fourth wedding.

She told her husband, "You have to be gentle with me, I'm still a virgin."

Her husband laughed, "How can you be a virgin after three marriages?"

She said, "I was always married to men from Digital.
	   My first husband was a Marketing Rep and he would only promise
	     how good it was going to be.
	   My second husband was a Software Engineer and he always told
	     me to take care of it myself.
	   The third one was a Field Service Engineer and all he ever did
	     was tell me it would be up in 15 minutes."
From: david@c-cat.UUCP (dave)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: More Conficious (sp?)
Date: 19 Aug 92 21:26:41 GMT
Organization: Intergalactic Rest Area For Weary Travellers


                     OLD CHINESE PROVERBS
                     --------------------

 1. WOMAN WHO GOES TO MAN'S APT. FOR SNACK, GETS TIT-BIT.

 2. MAN WHO LAY WOMAN ON GROUND, GETS PEACE ON EARTH.

 3. MAN WHO GETS KICKED IN TESTICLES, LEFT HOLDING THE BAG.

 4. MAN WHO KISSES GIRL'S BEHIND, GETS CRACK IN FACE.

 5. WOMAN WHO SPEND MUCH TIME ON BEDSPRING, MAY HAVE OFFSPRING.

 6. PASSIONATE KISS LIKE SPIDER WEB--LEAD TO UNDOING OF FLY.

 7. MAN WHO SUCKS NIPPLES MAKES CLEAN BREAST OF THINGS.

 8. MAN WITH HOLES IN POCKETS FEELS COCKY ALL DAY.

 9. MAN WHO SNATCH KISSES WHEN YOUNG, KISSES SNATCHES WHEN OLD.

10. MAN WHO FIGHTS WIFE ALL DAY GETS NO PIECE AT NIGHT.

11. HE WHO FISHES IN OTHER MANS WELL OFTEN CATCHES CRABS.

12. HE WHO PLAYS WITH SELF, PULLS BONER.

13. BOY WHO GO TO BED WITH SEX PROBLEM, WAKE UP WITH SOLUTION IN HAND.

14. VIRGINITY LIKE BALLOON--ONE PRICK--ALL GONE.

15. GIRL WHO DOUCHES WITH VINEGAR WALKS AROUND WITH SOUR PUSS.

16. GIRLS SHOULD NOT MARRY BASKETBALL PLAYERS--THEY DRIBBLE BEFORE
    THEY SHOOT.

17. MAN WITH ATHLETIC FINGER, MAKE BROAD JUMP.

18. MAN WHO MARRY GIRL WITH NO BUST HAS RIGHT TO FEEL LOW DOWN.

19. GIRL WHO RIDES BICYCLE, PEDDLES ASS ALL OVER TOWN.

20. MAN WHO FARTS IN CHURCH, SITS IN OWN PEW.

21. BABY CONCEIVED IN BACK SEAT OF CAR WITH AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION,
    GROW UP TO BE SHIFTLESS BASTARD.


                                                       -David

China Cat System     
(301)604-5976 8N1
david@sandr.com
From: howeird@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Jokes about cowboys
Date: 20 Aug 92 23:36:33 GMT
Article-I.D.: hplabsz.1992Aug20.233633.4870
Distribution: usa
Organization: HP Research Grants Program

There's the story of the cowboy who is drunk in the bar, bragging about his
exploits as a gunman. "Sure I knew Black Bart, most dangerous gun in the
west" he says.
"I saw him taking a leak out on the prarie, so I snuck up on him, drew my
gun and said 'Black Bart, turn around. He turned around. Then I said,
'Black Bart, drop your drawers.' He dropped his drawers. 'Black Bart,
squat'. He squatted. 'Black Bart, take a shit'. He took a shit. 'Black
Bart, eat it.' Well, he gave me a pretty mean look, so I cocked my pistol,
and pointed it at the pile of shit, then at his head. 'Black bart, I said
eat it.' He ate it. 

Now a meaner man would have tied him up and taken him in for the re-ward.
But making Black Bart eat shit was enough for me, so I put my gun away,
turned my back on him, and walked towards my horse. That's when I heard the
sound of a gun being cocked. Behind me I heard Black Bart say 'Cowboy,
turn around. I turned around. Then he said, 'Cowboy, drop your drawers.' 
I dropped my drawers. 'Cowboy, squat'. I squatted. 'Cowboy, take a shit'. 
I took a shit. 'Cowboy, eat it.' Well, I gave him a pretty mean look, but 
he pointed his  pistol at the pile of shit, then at my head. 'Cowboy, I said
eat it.' I ate it.

Why, do I know Black Bart? Hell, we even did lunch!
================================================================ 
Howard Stateman    howeird@hpl.HP.COM  [Not an HP spokesman]
"I have the heart of a little child, and the brain of a genius
                     -- and I keep them in a jar under my bed"
================================================================ 
Anatomically Correct Bulletin Board (415) 8-jovial [Adults only]
================================================================ 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave)
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology
Distribution: na
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 01:09:33 GMT

In article <1992Aug12.225323.26666@fnbc.com> lemson@fnbc.com writes:
>In article <80@byu.edu>  writes:
>> 
>> In article <1992Aug12.161224.72@cbnewsl.cb.att.com>,  
>saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal) writes:
>> > In article <1992Aug10.154759.370@awdprime.austin.ibm.com>
>> > ibmpa!cdc017.austin.ibm.com!lkoh@ibminet.awdpa.ibm.com writes:
>> > 
>> > >We get to name our machines at work here, and I am 
>> > >in desperate need of a new machine name in a hurry!  
>> > >Can you help me?  
>> >
>We have a few networks of printer servers with: The Simpsons, the gang  
>from Cheers, the Jetsons.
>I like the Simpsons, myself.  "Homer is down".  "I can't get Marge back  
>up". 

Or better yet, "Marge is going down."  Or "I can't get Homer back up!"

=====================jholtgra@scgraph.afit.af.mil==============================
Jeremy Holtgrave                          "Besides, we have more guns and bombs
Air Force Institute of Technology          than you."
Wright-Patterson AFB, Ohio
===============================================================================
From: cdt@sw.stratus.com (C. D. Tavares)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Gun control (was Re: democratic platform)
Keywords: joke, very funny, haha, etc.
Date: 19 Aug 92 19:53:54 GMT
Article-I.D.: transfer.5689
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc.

In article <14106@auspex-gw.auspex.com>, johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
> Hmmm. Did they have rocket launchers and semi-automatic rifles when the
> second amendment was passed?  Just wondering?

They had rocket launchers and FULLY-AUTOMATIC weapons.

Did they have Internet, Scientology, and NBC when they wrote the First?
-- 

cdt@pdp.sw.stratus.com      --If you believe that I speak for my company,
OR cdt@vos.stratus.com        write today for my special Investors' Packet...
From: kml@cellar.org (Lazlo Hoover Toth)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Woody
Date: 20 Aug 92 12:35:23 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system


Q:  What's the name of Woody Allen's new movie?




A:  Hannah and Her Daughters!


..
From: maven@lerc.nasa.gov (Larry Fishbach)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Jokes about cowboys
Date: 20 Aug 92 16:42:53 GMT
Reply-To: maven@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov
Distribution: usa
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center, Cleveland, OH

In article <1992Aug17.220110.18715@makesys.com>, john@makesys.com (John Turman) writes:
> In article <1992Aug11.035302.23836@nntpd2.cxo.dec.com> k_workman@csc32.enet.dec.com (Karen Workman) writes:
> >
> >In article <1992Aug10.215535.18095@igor.tamri.com>, kelly@igor.tamri.com (Kelly Kittell) writes...
> >> 
> >>Please mail me, or post, your jokes about cowboys, the Wild
> >>West, cows, barnyard sex, Dolly Parton, etc.
> >> 
> >>Yippie-ki-yi-thank-you!
> >> 
> >>Kelly

One day, down on a Texas ranch, the husband put a fresh coat of varnish
on the wood toilet seat.  He forgot, however, to post a sign warning
about what he had done.  His wife went to the bathroom and proceeded to
read an interesting article while she was on the throne.  When she went
to get up, she was stuck fast to the seat.  Her husband was unable to
unstick her so he called 911 for the emergency squad.  As they were
arriving, he realized that his wife was totally exposed so he quickly
went and got his cowboy hat and put it on her lap.  The emergency squad
member came into the bathroom and looked over the situation.  He turned
to the cowboy and said, " I think I can save your wife, but the cowboy
is too far gone!"
-- 
*******************************************************************************
maven@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov          Larry Fishbach @ NASA Lewis Cleveland Ohio
"Everything here is my own opinion"   Quoth the Maven "Evermore"
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton
From: thssapk@iitmax.iit.edu (([<{\_/}>]))
Subject: Re: Gun control (was Re: democratic platform)
Keywords: joke, very funny, haha, etc.
Organization: Illinois Institute of Technology
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 92 00:58:12 GMT

 rpollard@gucis.cit.gu.edu.au (Russell Pollard) writes:
>blayda@acsu.buffalo.edu (Danger) writes:
>
>> ski@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Andrew John Urbanski) writes:
>>>Guns don't kill people, bullets do.  People with gun just do it
>>>more efficiently!  :-)
>
Yeah, imagine trying to stop a burglar by threatening to throw
bullets at him.  Poking a thief in the head with a bullet might
work though, if you have a hammer.  Remeber though, you must be
sure to 'pound to stop', not 'pound to kill'. 8)

>>Guns can't kill people, bullets can't kill people, but _I_ can use
>>THEM to kill people; I don't though because I prefer hatpins.
>
I saw an article that said "Three people killed by lightning at golf
course."  According to your grammar, should I write the paper saying
they had a typo?  Or should I just shoot the editor?

>You should try using a Kingswood, one of the few non military vehicles
that can argue with a volvo and not come off second best!
>
No thanks.  I prefer a 1977 Buick myself.  I'm a sentimental guy.

>>*Shot thru the ear and you're to blame/You give murder A BAD NAME!*
>
>My, what a pretty thought....

Some stand-up comics have killed entire audiences, yet they still
are out on the streets!

[Yeah, yeah, bad pun.  So shoot me....oops!]

"Law-abiding citizen" sounds real similar to "honest politician",
come to think about it.

Later!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I shall return....."                               \ Al Kwiatkowski
                         - Gen. D. A. Macarthur     \
"I'll be back......."                               - thssapk@iitmax.iit.edu
                         - A. Swartzenegger         / Illinois Inst. of Tech.
                                                    / Chicago, IL
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: Writing Checklist
Followup-To: /dev/null
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 19:16:15 GMT

In article <2342@tymix.Tymnet.COM> filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM writes:
>..
>
>12. A preposition is something you should never end a sentence with.

To misquote Winston Churchill (because I can't recall the exact wording):

"This is the kind of petty demogogery up with which I will not put!"

Actually, it may have been GBS; also "pedantry" instead of demo-whatever!

-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: john@makesys.com (John Turman)
Subject: Re: Jokes about cowboys
Organization: Make Systems, Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 22:01:10 GMT

In article <1992Aug11.035302.23836@nntpd2.cxo.dec.com> k_workman@csc32.enet.dec.com (Karen Workman) writes:
>
>In article <1992Aug10.215535.18095@igor.tamri.com>, kelly@igor.tamri.com (Kelly Kittell) writes...
>> 
>>Please mail me, or post, your jokes about cowboys, the Wild
>>West, cows, barnyard sex, Dolly Parton, etc.
>> 
>>Yippie-ki-yi-thank-you!
>> 
>>Kelly
>>-- 
>OKAY HERE YA GO:
>
>What do Cowboy hats and hemorrhoids have in common?
>
>One day every ass whole will have one!      

One day out on the range Tonto decided he was very horny so he got on his
horse and rode into town to Sadie's whorehouse and gambling saloon to get
his problem taken care of. When he got there he said to Sadie "me got `em
heap big hornies, want woman". Sadie asked "have you ever been with a woman
before"? Sheepishly Tonto admitted "no" so Sadie told him he'd need to practice 
for a couple of weeks first before she could trust him with one of her girls.
"Where you want me practice" he asked. "Find an old tree with a knot hole in it
and use that for your practice sessions" she told him.

Two weeks later Tonto reappeared at Sadie's with newfound courage and confidence
which Sadie noticed right away. "Me want woman now" Tonto told Sadie with
urgency in his voice, so Sadie fixed him up with Sabrina her best girl and sent
him up to her room.

Five minutes later a blood curdling scream came from Sabrina's room. Sadie and
her bouncer rushed up the stairs and threw open Sabrina's door and to their
horror discovered Tonto standing there naked shoving a broomstick far into
poor Sabrina's vagina.

"Tonto what on earth are you doing" Sadie screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Me check `em for bees".

John T.
-- 
My opinions only, if you don't like `em don't read `em. 
Hurricanes and Dolphins, my favorite weather phenomena and aquatic mammals, oh
and also my favorite football teams. And remember to always genuflect in Shula's
presence and to kiss his Super Bowl Rings. .........John "Dolphinatic" Turman
Newsgroups: rec.humor