Newsgroups: bit.listserv.allmusic
Date:         Thu, 7 Jan 1993 18:18:54 EST
From:         "Rick; or, It Lives!!!" <MMLRICK@UBVM.BITNET>
Subject:      the 1992 ALLMUSICest nomin-whos

Hello everybody --
   Sorry I've been such a Silentista for the past coupla months; I've been
stuck for weeks in the Carpal Tunnel typing up a thesis due only 3 1/2 years
ago, with a 5 month-old pre-natal child kicking my butt (and my wife's
stomach) to get it done.
   I never left the list -- well OK, I set NOMAIL over the holidays, alright?--
but sadly sat freezing outside with my breath clouding the glass of my monitor
gazing longingly at the ALLMUSIC threads as they continued the endless party.
"Poor poor Rick" I know you're all saying with perfectly straight faces.

   Actually, I realize that my self-exile seemes to coincide with the duration
of Madonna's book in the top 10 of the NYTimes Non-Fiction Best Seller List.
Could it also be that it's taken me this long to get over my dumbfoundedness?
God, we capitalists strut our stuff, don't we?
   Anyway, enough of the head-scratching in puzzlement and disbelief.

   I really appreciate being nominated as "a witty guy" by such luminaries
as Marsha (my alternate-reality-fiancee), Sonia (the blues cantor), David
Malbuff (I wish I could still hang out with John Linnell), Chuck (fellow funny
librarian), Jeff Preston (I'm sure if I got a job for Letterman at CBS I'd
be chopped up and fed to the Stupid Pets after a week-and-a-half) Scott
"I'd like to see the look on both William and Mary's faces today!" Hammer,
and Carol (for whom I once resembled an accountant; now she visualizes me
as a four-year old mini-Roy Rogers who's just soiled his trousers).
   Thanks to all you guys for the recognition; light a candle as a novena to
my patron saint and all-time hero, Till Eulenspiegel for me.

   Of course, I know a lotta new people are now turning on the pressure,
disgruntlingly snorting "Witty, huh? Rolling on the floor prize, eh? OK, Fool,
tell a joke. Make me laugh. Do a silly dance. Just try and wipe this sneer
off my face. Go ahead, funny guy. Humph."  Well, sorry, the deal's off. You
shoulda been here last summer when I was a real contenda. Insteada justa bum.
*schnorrkkk* (the sound of Rick wiping his nose on the sleeve of his flannel
shirt)
      Anyway, I'll get on with it.

                  My List of 1992 ALLMUSICest

(not the most original of choices, mind you. delete if you've read this before)

      1. Rising Star or Revelation of the Year

           Marsh-a-cappella.  Jumped right in and waltzed along with the
                rest of us, while surviving law school at the same time.
                A wonder.

      2. Wittiest poster (Rolling on the Floor Laughing Prize)

           All those I mentioned above are in my list of faves to yuk it up
                at. But how come noone's yet mentioned that brilliant
                poetic satirist, Ed ThE MaDd? More than once did his inspired
                lines knock me off my hobby horse.

      3. Most consistent initiator & promoter of dialogue

           I, too, go for MMM as the spinner of new threads. I'm still trying
                to ponder what I'd do if I had $50,000.
           Honorable mention goes to *gasp!* Leonard Watkins. Whether we
                strongly or mildly disagreed with him, he had our reflexes
                jumpily reacting to hit that "reply" button.

      4. Funkiest poster.

           The always-interesting, never-pigeonhole-able, one-step-ahead
                Zen-gospelite Sonia. Long may you chant! You beat Kerouac
                hands down.

      5. Nastiest poster (Painful Plague prize)

           Again, I agree that Ben "You miserable puny ALLMUSICERS will
                never understand anything beyond your petty useless lives
                acted out on this asanine list" from SUNY-Wherever gets this
                award. Just proves how miserable and puny I am, doesn't it?

      6. Friendliest and kindest ALLMUSICER.

           I'm also for Marco. So much so that if I happen to disagree
                every now and then with something he writes, I feel guilty.

      7. Clueless poster prize (Frippie award)

           Anyone who expressed support for Perot on the list. (You know
                who you are -- hope you passed the credit check)

      8. Grossest musical mistake in a post

           Eddie Armstong's notion that the Achy Breaky... ah well, never mind,
                 I don't feel like rehashing it. It's over and done with, thank
                 God.

      9. Most original review of a tape, album or CD.

           Again, a tip o' the hat and I raise my glass of absinthe to Sonia.
                 Lester Bangs, meet Arthur Rimbaud.

     10. Sexiest poster.

           Carol, I acknowledge your clever wordplay, snappy repertee and
                 allaround dazzling wittiness and sparkling humor. It's all
                 great. However: yow a wow wow!! Hubba hubba!! *whistle,
                 stomp*. Zowie!

     11. Most playful poster.

           Seb, who tells us everything that'll be in Frankfurt, Germany
                 for the next 7 months at a time. "Oh? You're not going to
                 be in the neighborhood on February 28, 1994 to hear the
                 world premiere of the John Zorn/Hans Werner Henze/Karen
                 Findley opera collaboration at the Staatsoperhaus? Gee
                 thats a shame... "

     12. Best ALLMUSIC flamer.

           Devastating forehand smashes by Tim Johnson. Jeff Preston also
                 has a powerful backhand.

     13. Most astonishing confession or personal revelation.

           Once the Encyclopedia de Bloom admitted that he didn't know
                 something. I got a concussion after reading that.
                 (Or was it a dream?)

     14. Strangest ALLMUSIC post.

           Someone last summer wanted to know what happened to Helen Reddy.

     15. Classiest ALLMUSIC.

           Many possibilities. Ken Koester's up there, so's Beer, so's Adam.
         Yep, Michelle May and M.Morse and Walt. The winner, though, is
         the Little Inquisitor.

      16. Most dazzling all-around poster.

           Bloomdido gets this one too. Words cannot describe the words that
         describe his breadth of knowledge, but with humor and fun tales.
         Plus anyone who can rattle the otherwise emotionally-crippled
         Robert Fripp is OK by me.

      17. Keeper of the ALLMUSIC Flame award.

           John McIntire gets my vote too. If I wore a hat I'd take it off
          to you. Instead, I'm gonna go home, drink a beer in celebration
          of my finally-finished 380-page thesis and say "Cheerth, *hic*
          Johnny Boy, long may you potht!"

      18. The special Rick prize goes to our ALLMUSIC Netiquette monitor,
           Chuck.  Thanks to your contributions, we'll be happily at each
           others' throats for another successful year. Till E. will be
           smiling down at us. (I'll try to send you a post...)

To everyone else -- Happy New Ears! (get rid of your old ones. Keep listening
to stuff you're not used to.)

   Witty enough for ya?,
   Rick

PS.So long, Dizzy (and Johnny Most, sportscaster for the Boston Celtics).
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