From: regan1016@bestsd.sdsu.edu (T. ELIZABETH HARVEY)
Subject: Re: Distress Call
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: Suddenly, the moon blows up.
Organization: San Diego State University - Dept. of Redundancy Dept.
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 22:00:00 GMT

Basically, there's been a misunderstanding:
>>>**bunch of stuff deleted**
>>>
>>>>Oh, don't say that!  I believe that nice guys always finish first,
>>>>eventually ...
> 
>**bunch deleted**
> 
>>>whiners, and unless they can crawl out of there shells, they will
>>>always be last.  Until they feel they want to take charge of thier
>>>lives and get what *they* want, no one is going to hand it to them on
>>>a Silver Platter.
>>
>>Hmmm ...
>><Elizabeth muses, trying not to go off-the-cuff ...>
>>Paul, my dear, what makes you think that so-called Nice Guys are whiners?
>>INDEED, I put whiners in the same category as jerks, pin-heads, and other
>>anal & anal-retentive personalities.
> 
>Ok, maybe we need to make some distinctions here.  Obviously what I
>term 'NiceGuy' is not the same as you.  There seems to be a group of
>'Guys' that are basically loving caring individuals, but carry that to
>the extreme where they will do *anything* to not hurt anyone elses
>feelings.  They let people walk over thier emotions.  Then they sit
>and wonder why no one loves them back.  Another stigma that sticks to
>these guys is when they get dumped on it is always, "Your a 'NiceGuy',
>but....."
What you call "NiceGuy" syndrome, I think of as being a doormat ... of 
course, there are a lot of people (I among them) who aren't always 
assertive enough and are sometimes taken advantage of, but people who let 
it happen to them *consistent* have problems ... I don't believe being a 
wimp is any better than being a blow-hard ...

>>JUST because a guy DOESN'T go around acting like a blow-hard, with an
>>ego-size 3 times the size of his IQ, DOESN'T mean he is some sniveling
>>little weasel who can't GET anywhere with women and spends all his time
>>boring others by bemoaning in perpetuity over it!
> 
>Agreed, but on the other hand, if a guy can't or *won't* make his
>needs, wishes or what ever known, not only will woman not be able to
>'fulfill' his needs or wished, they will not know what they are.
Agreement there ...

>>And when I wrote that Nice Guys do finish first, eventually, it was as an
>>encouragement to Rob not to think that no woman would EVER appreciate him,
>>nor to think he has to come on like GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN just get gain
>>women's attention ... 
>that *some* women who were previously attracted to 'Jerks' are now
>looking for the 'NiceGuy' they passed up before.  This in itselt kind
>of pisses me off.  I mean what was wrong with the other guy in the
>first place that they are 'OK' now?  (I use the term 'NiceGuy' here
>in what I think you are thinking of, kind, considerate, maybe a bit
>shy, basically a good person....).
Ahh .... whenever I use the term 'nice guy', it's in the sense that defined 
just above ... like I said, I put wimps in another category.
As for why some women are 'attracted' to Jerks and then decide to 'give a 
"NiceGuy" a chance', I have no idea!  I've always been attracted to nice 
guys from the start ...

>>And take it from a *Nice Girl*, who's been pretty much *ignored* by guys of
>>all stripes, that sometimes, love is a matter of luck ... unfortunately,
>>there are those of us in this world who seem to have been born unlucky ... 
>Do you *really* believe that?  Do those unfortunate enough to be born
>unlucky *ever* find love?  Are they doomed to go through life with no
>one?  I hope you don't think of yourself in this light!
No comment *sardonic smile*
Seriously, just because you may be unlucky doesn't mean you will never find 
love ...  I also believe it's possible to be unlucky only in love.

>>>Well, enough of this....  Personally I would not put HWY in this
>>>catagory, and you probably weren't trying to.  I think rather he,
>>>like most of the guys in this group, is just a normal loving person
>>>who has had a nasty experience.  Blahblahblahblahblah.....
>>No, I meant what *I* said ... when I call someone a nice guy, it is a
>>compliment, and *not* a left-handed one ... and I certainly wish HWY well
>>.. 
>Again I will put this in a catagory of not meaning the same thing by
>the term 'NiceGuy'.  What you are calling a 'NiceGuy' I was refering
>to as the 'normal loving person'.  See what happens when we don't
>come out defining our terms?  And I wish Hwy well too, and I wish you
>well as well....
>*Hugs*
Thank you ... sorry for coming off so vehement ... you just happened to 
have struck a chord ...
*hug*

>rip(Gawd I love these little discussions!)
Wonderful, aren't there! *grin*

In love with Steve Dunne ...
---<--<-{@ | "I believe that before all else, I am a reasonable human being,
Elizabeth  | just as you are -- or, at all events, that I must try and 
	   | become one." _A Doll's House_, Henrik Ibsen
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat