From: sl859@cc.usu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh,rec.arts.comics.misc,rec.arts.comics
Subject: LNH: Sieze Dangerous!!  episode 1
Date: 9 Oct 92 17:18:31 MDT
Organization: Utah State University

Here it is the LONG AWAITED!!!

Sieze Dangerous...  episode 1...

Ultimate Ninja saw that the Legion was only going to get larger and more
confusing and knew it was time to act.  Everyday three to ten new members were
showing up to join into the party, but none of them really had purpose or
experience in fighting evil.  Ultimate Ninja, being a ninja, and Ninja's for
the most part brood a lot and take things way too seriously, could not remove
the suspicion from his mind that Acton Lord would soon be taking advantage of
the group's unorganized fashion.  Sure he had stepped on Acton Toad, but
certainly there were more than one of him hidden somewhere.  At least, that's
what Sig Lad claimed, as he mumbled something about Acton Lord's immortality
scheme where he scanned himself into gif form.   It was time for the Legion of
Net.Heroes to get organized.  
	Ultimate Ninja, aware that Rebell Yell might be mad at his criticizing
of his poor leadership job decided to enact his plan without debate or
discussion among the other members.  He would set his plan into motion and if
there was an objection he would deal with it when it arrived (probably with a
fistful of Ninja Bush!).  It was time to get the facilities to determine who
would be the best leader.  Who will pass the test of champions and gain the
honor of Ultimate Nin... Errrr.  Leader.  Ultimate Ninja knew the answer before
he even thought of the contest, but it would be fun to thrash the Legion into
shape.

*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*

Meanwhile Acton Lord spied carefully through his spy.sat monitor.  He had to
watch Ultimate Ninja closely, since it was him that had stepped on him.  And
changing his costume, due to Sig Lad was really going to be an annoying task!
Just then a Gradgnome entered carrying the latest box of Pizza Hut take out. 
Acton Lord glared at the irritating little fellow and then sent him flying
across the room at the impact of his backhand.
	"Master, Why dust thow beet mee?"
	"This script needs some senseless violence to establish what a mean and
wrotten guy I am!"  Acton Lord snarled back in a pose as evil as he could
imagine.   "That meddling Ultimate Ninja has got to PAY for the indignities he
has costed me!  I will not rest until I have exacted my revenge on him!"
	"Ultimate Ninja is as good as toast, then?"
	"When I am done with him he will not even be that good!  Why he wont be
suit to make stuffing, with the stale crumbs I will leave behind!"
	"what?  Master?  You confuse me..."
	"It was metaphor!  You IDIOT!" Acton Lord booted the poor wretched
Gragnome across the room and out a window.  His <THUD!>  could be heard as
Acton Lord reached for another piece of Pizza.  Taking a bite and looking into
the viewscreen, Acton Lord about choked.  "Stupid Gragnome!  I Hate green
Olives!"  raging AL took the pizza and flung it out of the window.  " Bring me
Peperoni and Pineapple!"  Then turning once again to viewscreen, Acton Lord
began to observe the antics of the LNH again.

*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*

In the outer reaches of net.limbo.creepy.place a kind old woman writhed in
pain.  Electricity shot through her mind, but her thoughts were no longer
kindly old jokes.  They were no longer well-formed sentences.  They were no
longer her own.  

	Must . . .  do . . . good . . . Must Love . . .  KILL . . . Continuity
Legion . . . Champ . . .  Cult . . . errrrrrg.

Bands of power and darkness emanated from the husk of the frail senior citizen. 
Had Sister State-the-Obvious been watching she would have duely noted that this
was not the same Aunt Comic-Relief that she had grown to love...

*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*

Contraption Man sat on a couch that was welded to the floor of LNH.HQ.  He was
toying with a new invention.  He called it the Cheese.Cracker.  He had swiped
some cheeze from Cheeezzar and his Coil thingy and was mixing it up with a new
party idea.  He announced to the room his discovery and his plans to patent the
Hors d'ouerves (sp?^10000) of cheese and crackers mixed, when Sister
State-The-Obvious blurted out something to the effect that it was already
invented.  Contraption Man and McLaughlin Man began to argue about the legal
ramifications and if someone really could own exclusive writes to the whole
mess when Ultimate Ninja approached quietly.
	"Contraption Man.  I need you to do something for me."  Ultimate Ninja
interrupted.  
	"Hey, Did you see my creation?  Do you think it will sell?" 
Contraption Man completely ignored McLaughlin Man, who wasn't too hurt since he
had plenty to debate with P.C. Man (Politically Correct Man)  who was sitting
in a corner frowning at the hopeless state of the LNH.  "You wouldn't happen to
be a traitor, who is going to destroy the entire LNH, would you?  I Come from
the future and I saw a video tape of the past when I was in the future and that
is now still the future, and I wouldn't like it to become the past, but I would
prefer that I stopped the traitor before the whole thing became a disaster,
although I must admit the future really isn't that bad, so maybe that means I
shouldn't interfere, but if I don't maybe then I will alter the future even
more, cuz maybe I am already written into my own life and if I change how I
would act then that would change what I am and I would form an endless time
loop causing the Universe to disintegrate, and destroying the entire
net.time.space.continuum!!  Are you sure these cheese.cracker things aren't
original!?"
	Ultimate Ninja did a flying twist kick into Contraption man's
Cheese-Cracker, then a martial disarm, knocking it to the ground and then
crushed it below his feet, all while grasping Contraption Man by the collar and
lifting him into the air.  "Look you!   I need you to build me something and I
don't want to spend this entire episode describing it to you!"
	Contraption Man drew back.  "Violent one, aren't you?  In the future we
have managed to suppress these terrible feelings so that we are superior to the
inferior LNH that is here."  He said proudly, but then it dawned on him. "You
sure seem hostile!  Maybe you ARE the traitor!  In fact, I suspected you all
Along! By the way, what is your name?"
	"I am Ultimate Ninja.  I really need you to help me with your
spectacularly genetically advanced mind and I think you are the only one
SKILLED enough to do it."  Ultimate Ninja was a master at
silver.tongued.devil.skills.  "Can you help my pitifulness?"
	All puffed out, Contraption Man naturally paid attention. "OK, what do
you want?"
	"I need to devise a way to test each of the LNH to see who is the most
suitable to lead.  Maybe they could clash in a simulated combat but not hurt
each other?  I put it in a large gymnasium like room where people could
practice their skills if needed.  I would call it the Perilroom.  Do you have
any idea if this is possible."  Ultimate Ninja unfolded his plan to Contraption
Man.
	"Sure, The PerilRoom 2000!  Why I used to fiddle with that thing all
the time!  In fact, one of my first assignments was to take the thing
completely appart and rebuild it.  Who would have guessed I was the orignal
creator!?"  Contraption man quipped cheerfully.  "I will go to the empty rooms
and start it right away!  Hey!  Maybe I can get a patent!  Why didn't I think
of that  before!  I could build lots of conveniences I have in the future and
really make a fortune!  Why I could..."  Contraption Man disappeared down one
of the halls, thinking about all his new found plans.

*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	

Acton Lord stood perplexed.  He stared blankly at the screen.  A Perilroom?
The LNH would actually PRACTICE thier powers!?  And why would Ultimate Ninja be 
interested in such a plan?  Making his Deduction Roll, Acton Lord realized in
an appalling rage that Ultimate Ninja planned to make the LNH into an organized
well oiled machine!  Acton Lord winced at the thought of an organized Legion.
Perhaps he would wipe out the entire Legion of Net.Villains, if he managed to
do this?!   It would be worse then the Woman who backed into a running plane 
propeller: DISASTER!
	Acton Lord lept dynamically to his feet and ran to fetch his com.link.
"Netlurker, I need you down here, now!  We have to stop a major plot
development."  
	Netlurker slurged from his trance of cyber.addiction in reaction to the
call.  "Whaddya want..."  
	"We are going after ...  SIEZE DANGEROUS!!"
	"What!  I thought that was just a Legend."
	Acton Lord stared at the panel adjecent his where NetLurker was drawn
and asked in disgust...
	"Are you sure you aren't related to Cliche Dude?!"

*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	

Ultimate Ninja conversed with List Lad and RosterwReam.  "So you think we could
actually arrange the LNH in an order that was more easily manipulated?"
	"Suuuuure!  No problem!  It's really no problem!  I am certain
RosterwReam here will be GLAD to do it!"  List Lad said sipping his Lemonade.
	"But I ...  Err.  I still haven't got all the other newcomers together
yet!  Um..."  RosterwReam squirmed as his boy-hood enthusiasm was slowly being 
sapped.  
	"Good, then this is how it will go.  I will organize the LNH into ..."
	"HEY BOSS!"  Contraption Man came around the corner and burst into the
conversation without consideration to the previous subject.  "You got a 
TELERIUM.PU99.SPACEMODULATOR handy?"  
	Ultimate Ninja shrugged.
	"Oh.  I guess I will have to improvise."  then he wandered back to his
work place, mumbling all the way.  "I wonder if orange peels will work?"
        Ultimate Ninja watched Contraption Man walk down the hall, not watching
where he went, U.N. expected C.M. to trip over Lost-Cause Boy who was still
sobbing hopelessly at the feet of the Memorial Statue of the once alive now
defunct "Writer-With-Integrity."

*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*

	Net.world Fabric ripped and squelched under the enormous power building
up in net.limbo.creepy.place.of.evil.  In pain an Aunt Comic-Relief lurched in
the darkness.  She was no longer Aunt Comic-Relief.  She was No longer Coronary
the life giver and taker...  She was changing.  The inker was dumping the ink
on at this point!  She was BLACK CORONARY!!!



**	**	**	**	**	**	**	**	**	**

WHAT TROUBLE IS ACTON LORD BREWING, AND WHAT EXACTLY IS THE SIEZE DANGEROUS!?
WILL ULTIMATE NINJA MANAGE TO ORGANIZE THE LNH?  WHAT WILL BE REBEL YELL'S
REACTION???  WHAT IS HAPPENING TO AUNT COMIC-RELIEF!?  AND WILL CAPTAIN
CAPITALIZE ALWAYS BE DOING THESE FINAL CLINCHERS?!?

							wReam...
				Ultimate Ninja of the Legion of Net.Heroes!!

P.S.  SCAV has been having net problems!  Hope he gets this!
 

Xref: sparky alt.comics.lnh:63 rec.arts.comics.misc:3586