Newsgroups: aus.jokes
Subject: Re: Help : re. blonde joke postings:
From: Simon.Cole@comp.vuw.ac.nz (Simon Richard Cole)
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 03:00:35 GMT
Organization: Dept. of Comp. Sci., Victoria Uni. of Wellington, New Zealand.


In article <714642868.F00002@csource.oz.au>, Neville.Stradling@f356.n632.z3.fidonet.org (Neville Stradling) writes:
|> * In a message originally to All on the 08-19-92, Simon Paul TALBOT Said:
|> ST > There was a real large posting (a few thousand lines, I
|> ST > think) of the
|> ST > ENTIRE collection of blonde jokes a while ago. If anyone
|> ST > has this
|> ST > floating around their file collection could you please post
|> ST > them again,
|> ST > or preferably, please mail them to me (see address before)
|> As this echo has just been put on my local BBS, I too have missed 
|> this collection of blonde jokes. If someone could post them again It 
|> would be greatly appreciated, or as above, you could send them via 
|> Australia Post.
|>  
|>         Regards,
|>         Neville STRADLING
|>         10 Newlyn St.
|>         Shepparton
|>         3630
|>  * Origin: The Silicon Bit BBS +61-58-52-2121 (3:632/356)


HERE IT IS

What is Blonde  Brunette  Blonde  Brunette  Blonde  Brunette

        A Cheerleader doing cartwheels.

Q: What do a washing machine, a raincoat, a dishwasher and a blonde
have in common?

A: They all leak when they are fucked!


 1. What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men?
    There ankles.

 2. What do blondes and turtles have in common?
    When they are on their back they're fucked.

 3. What is a blondes mating call?
    I'm drunk, I'm drunk.

 4. What does a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common?
    They both have black boxes?

 5. Why don't blondes like vibrators?
    They chip their teeth.

 6. What do a blonde and a computer have in common?
    You don't appreciate them until they go down on you.

 7. How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer?
    There's liquid paper on the screen.

 8. Why did God give blondes more brains than cows?
    So when you pull her tits she doesn't shit on the floor.

 9. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
    To see what was on the other side.

 10. How does a blonde like her eggs?
     Fertilized.

 11. Why did the blonde die her hair red?
     Instant intelligence.

 12. Why do blondes wear panties?
     To keep their ankles warm.

 13. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
     Because thats where all the vegetables are washed.

 14. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
     For the headroom.

 15. Why did God invent orgasms?
     So blondes know when to stop bonking.

 16. Why don't blondes have drivers licences?
     Because they always jump into the back seat at a red light.

 17. What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?
     Sweet fuckall.

 18. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
     Three, one to find the ladder, one to find a bulb and one to find a
     man to do the work.

 19. What does a blonde say after sex?
     So do you all play for the same team.

 20. How do you make a blondes eyes light up? 
     Shine a light in her ear.

 21. What does a blonde do when she wakes up?
     Goes home.

 22. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
     You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

 23. What's the difference between an aeroplane and a blonde?
     Not everyone has been in an aeroplane.

 24. How do blonde brain cells die?
     Alone.

 25. What is the similarity between a blonde and cow shit?
     The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

 26. How can you tell who a blonde is dating?
     By the buckle print on her forehead.

 27. What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
     An interpreter.

 28. What do blondes and bear bottles have in common?
     They are both empty from the neck up.

 29. How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
     Tell her a joke on Friday.

 30. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
     Pull the pin and throw it back.

 31. What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant?
     Gee .. I hope it's mine.

 32. What the difference between a blonde and the titanic?
     We know how many people went down on the titanic.

 33. Why don't blondes like to breast feed?
     It hurts to boil the nipple.
 34. Why should you go shopping with a blonde?
     Because you can park in the handicap.

 35. Why do blondes take the pill?
     So they know what day of the week it is.

 36. Why do blondes drive BMW's?
     Because it's the only car name they can spell.

 37. What does a blondes father say to her before she goes out?
     If your not in bed by 10 come home.

 38. Why do blondes only get half an hour for lunch.
     If it's any longer you have to retrain.

 39. If a blonde and a brunette jump off a tall building at the same time-
     who would land first?
     The brunette because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

 40. What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
     Spot.

 41. How is a blonde like spaghetti?
     They both squirm when you eat them.

 42. How are blondes and screen doors similar?
     The more you bang them the looser they get.

 43. What do you call five blondes sitting in a circle?
     A dope ring.

 44. Why don't blondes eat pickles?
     They can't get their heads in the jar.

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Newsgroups: aus.jokes