From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: speed trap
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 01:09:07 GMT

I know, I know. Just about every traffic peeve has been posted in this
group umteen dozen times. But I just had another.

I'm heading north on Telshore Boulevard, from Lohman. This road has posted
speed limits which range from 35, 40, and 45 along about a two mile
stretch, and it is a little hilly, so our illustrious Las Cruces traffic
department has most of it marked with a yellow "no passing" line. Anyway,
here I am moving along perhaps three mph over the speed limit and in my
rear view mirror I see a new Jeep Cherokee sailing up to me. Just before
the lady driver moves the snout of this vehicle to within two feet of the
tailgate on my pickup, I see the Texas plate. And, the woman has this very
impatient look on her face. I gave her my "you gonna drive that thing up
my ass, woman?" look in the side mirror.

Knowing full well that Telshore is deliberately speed limited to try to
supplement the Las Cruces city revenues, I responded by slowing a bit,
just to make sure I was at least 1 mph UNDER that 40 mph speed limit. And,
of course, it had the desirable side effect of pissing this woman off a
bit more. I could see her jaw tighten, and I smiled back at her.

Just about that time, appearing over top of the next little hill coming
toward us, is a brand new perty blue Ford Crown Vic, the Las Cruces
smokey. I pointed at this car, and this lady behind me immediately fell
back a respectable distance, as did about three people who were closing in
on her to ride her ass. We proceeded without incident the next two miles.

On the way back, on this same stretch, I am again confronted with a horde
of turistas, all wanting to speed, getting more pissed at me by the
moment, because I am carefully driving EXACTLY the speed limit here.
Finally one older woman pulls out, on the yellow line, and proceeds to
pass at high speed, blowing her horn at me, and nearly getting hit by an
oncoming car in the process. 

A quarter mile later, I've got another New Mexico yuppie in his Honda,
again trying to drive two feet from me. I just pointed to the speed limit
sign, but he was obviously suffering seriously from lack of instant
gratification, so he pulls out and passes, honking, and flipping me a
bird.

Another half mile down the road, we are approaching the fast food joints
on the corner of Lohman and Telshore, and their infamous thoroughly
screwed up traffic signal there.

There is our friend in the blue crown vic, and he has the older lady who
passed me a moment ago pulled over, issuing her a citation (he was writing
on his little pad). I couldn't resist - I just honked and waved at her.
Such joy it is being an asshole sometimes!

But, even more rewarding was pulling up to the light at Lohman, in the
left lane and actually positioning myself a full car length in front of
Mr. Me Now, who had flipped me the bird earlier. I had my window down, so
I just said loudly, "Well, that really did you a lot of good, huh?" and
smiled sweetly.

About that time the light changed, and my lane moved out smoothly, while
the right lane was afflicted by a BDI in front who couldn't respond to the
green light. When I looked back, Me Now was still stuck at the intersection.

Yes, friends, there is a God. He grants me Peeves and Anti-peeves, in 
great abundance!

RelatedPeeve: The Whole Enchilada festival. Here, in Las Cruces. This
weekend. Sheesh!

  (..)
   ~~
L. (old fart in a pickup)

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