HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: anon-1218@twwells.com (Anika)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Your post
Date: 12 Nov 92 21:31:29 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes






Ed-

I'm really glad you posted your story, and I apologize for the
misunderstanding about whether you were or weren't abused. Perhaps the third
person way of writing gets a little deceptive. I felt for you a great deal
when I read it, and it helps me get a better grip on you than I can from your
third person posts.

I'm going to have to accept that your "going out" post hurt me a great deal,
because for whatever reason, when I see things like:

>This is a place of healing, not a place of uncontrolled rage.

I get angry. Please read: This is *MY* issue. I remember being called abusive
names by you in what seemed to me a completely out-of-control letter that was 
never mentioned again on this board. No one else has said it, so it's probably
just me, but I'll say it now. That post hurt me a lot. I'd wanted to reach out
to you before that, but failed due to e-mail problems, and I took your post 
more personally than I thought. In all the time that I've read and posted 
(not as long as you, I grant) that's the only post I've ever seen that I think
comes close to the "uncontrolled rage" you mentioned. I think discussions like
have been going on here are not at all uncontrolled rage. [By the way, I just 
looked this over and wanted to clarify: No one said "Anika is a <abusive 
name>." The letter I mentioned was directed at people in general. As I said, 
it's in the way *I* took it.]

So consider this a public confession. Ed, your post hurt me.
Maybe now it will quit bothering me.

							Anika



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From: enigma@netcom.com (Enigma)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: my theory about why some people are irritated at Ed
Date: 12 Nov 92 20:21:10 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)


I've been thinking a lot about this situation where periodically
a lot of people get really annoyed at Ed, and then a bunch of other
people leap to his defense, and nothing ever gets resolved.  Anyway,
something occurred to me, and I'd like some feedback...

Is it just my imagination, or are most of the people who are annoyed
at Ed female?  And most of the people who defend him are male?  I was
leafing through a book at one of the local bookstores (I wish now that
I'd bought it), and the premise of this book is that men and women
have completely different styles of communication in our culture.

The basic idea is that men tend to make these flat-footed assertions,
expressing their opinion as though it were fact.  This seems normal to
other men, but seems incredibly arrogant and rude to women.  And women
tend to phrase things with lots of "I think...", "It seems to me...",
"Don't you agree...".  If men notice this at all (which mostly they
don't), they think it's just silly.

This book was generalizing like crazy, of course, but it seems to me
to be a possible explanation for what we have going on here.  I wrote
Ed about Theresa's post, and he sent me a very nice, friendly reply
that showed he didn't have the slightest idea what I was talking about
(Sorry, Ed).  I mean, I'm sitting here scratching my head and going
"Huh?".

And none of the other guys seem to get it, either.  It's not the
content of what Ed says, guys, it's the *tone*.  

What do you all think?  Could this be the problem?

-- 
Holly McGrath   <enigma@netcom.com> 
1803 Mission Street, #339          
Santa Cruz, CA 95060              
(408) 479-4072  (voice mail)
From: anon-1250@twwells.com (Kevin)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: daily thought
Date: 11 Nov 92 18:09:49 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Here's something to ponder for the day, taken from "Surviving with Serenity"
by T. Thomas, published by Health Communications, Inc.
			GIFTS

	"We are gifted, every one of us.  After what we have been through, it
is not only a gift but a major miracle that we are even alive today to tell
our stories.
  	"Some of us might find ourselves squirming in our seats or saying 
`that's crazy' to any suggestions that we might be gifted persons.  But it
is far from crazy.  What was crazy was for our abusers to act as though
we were not precious gifts of the Divine, deserving love and respect.  That
was insane.
	"Our existence is a gift.  Our vulnerability is a gift.  Our strength
is a gift.  Gifts can be misused and abused - we know that.  That is how some
others responded to the gift in us.  But that is not our response.  We are
survivors.  We are thrivers.  We live to cherish the unique gift of the 
universe that is our very self."

Thought to ponder:  "I cherish the gift of my person."

	Peace to all,
         Kevin



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From: dmw1@Ra.MsState.Edu (Dianna Michael White)
Subject: teachers and scool
Organization: Mississippi State University
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 03:32:24 GMT

it is truly amazing to me how some teachers can begin to behave toward children
the way they do

i myself have never had any serious trouble with any teachers save the 
occasional senile one..and the one my senior year who tried to fail me cuz
he hated me

but i have heard quite a few stories from close friends
one had i don't remeber how many hit them for little or no reason
(she told me she faced up to the last one and threatened him if he touched
her again...i have always thought of her as being an extremely brave
individual and is the only person i have ever truly been jealous of for that reason)

and my best friend was picked on by teachers (and students) and in the
third (or fourth?) grade she was placed in a room all by herself for the
entire year and just given work to do
apparently they thought she didn't get along well with the other children
which may have been true, but that is definitely NOT the way to handle
the situation
 

teachers are intrusted with the nations future..with children..to teach and to
mold
and no one seems to bother with making sure these people are doing it
correctly


not all teachers are bad, i know, i have had several good ones
maybe that's why i want to be one...we need some good people who really care
about the children

-dianna

--
*------------------------------------------*------------------------*
|I I love love double double chex chex     | It's never to late to  |
|better better than than the the rest rest!| have a happy childhood.|
*------------------------------------------*------------------------*
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: ftlao@acad3.alaska.edu (OSSANDER LINDA A)
Subject: Re: In article 9yB@twwells.com, anon-1285@twwells.com (Lemon Soother) writes:
Summary: Live my friend 
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41.UAC
Organization: University of Alaska - Fairbanks
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 03:05:00 GMT

In article <1d6uf9INNq2j@male.EBay.Sun.COM>, sherig@jett.EBay.Sun.COM writes...
> 
> 
>>>>I walk funny and shake.
> 
>well, then shake it, BABY!
> 
>you are blessed that you can get around by WALKING!
>> 
I want to comment on this two..
I was born with Spina Bifida and Club Feet. I also walk funny..*Smile* But I
get there honey and I have led as "Normal" a life as anyone..
I was married for almost 20 years and have twin daughters.  I have also gone
thru divorce so I guess I make a lot of statistics...I also got my BA last May. 
TThis is from someone who when born in 1949, her parents were told to put
in an institution because I would probably never amount to anything and would
probably be mentally retarded.  
You can do it and you must for all the other people out there. but mostly for
yourself. 
I did not walk until I was almost 10 but I not only walk and talk I have a lot
of friends and have had my share of life and shall continue until I die.
By the way I was also molested as a child and I have worked thru most of my
problems. So I say to you:  GO out there baby and have a life!!!
*HUGS* If wanted if not just pass them on.

                           -Linda-


Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: mdtll@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu  (tigger)
Subject: Re: out of it
Originator: mdtll@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 02:01:12 GMT
Organization: Engineering Computer Network, University of Oklahoma, Norman, OK, USA


  anonymus+2790@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (poohbear) writes:

>here.
>refuse to leave.
>been in my room for the past 12 hours straight.
>hell no we wont go cries poohbear
>please dont take us sobs poohbear
>cant go back wails poohbear
>poohbear screams

poohbear,

if you will accept an e-hug from another voice from the forest,
i send you one.  

  |_       _
  | ) (_| (_|,
          /_|

tigger

ps.  keep on posting.  i didn't know tigger's could cry...

Xref: sparky alt.newgroup:26 alt.config:6889 alt.licker.store:63 alt.test:15022 misc.test:13031
From: franklir@helium.gas.uug.arizona.edu (Ryan J Franklin )
Newsgroups: alt.newgroup,alt.config,alt.licker.store,alt.test,misc.test
Subject: Re: Another listing of newsgroups in the "alt" Usenet hierarchy
Date: 13 Nov 92 12:46:40 GMT
Organization: University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ

In article <1992Nov12.191946.17599@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu> corleyj@helium.gas.uug.arizona.edu (Jason D Corley ) writes:
>This newsgroup is dedicated to 2 things:
>
>First, the proposition that this newsgroup is not dedicated to
>anything, and that any attempt to dedicate it thusly is
>pointless.

Right.

>Second, the ideals of DIALECTICAL MATERIALISM!, though the only
>reason it belongs here is that it too is pointless, but that
>doesn't mean it's pointless!

Jason, have you been licking cane toads again?  Take a deep breath,
let the pretty colors die down, maybe swallow an epicac, and reread
the above.  Then ask yourself--will an icepick be sufficient to dice your
brain into tiny bits of pulp, or should I get some power tools?
Let DIALECTICAL MATERIALISM! die the sordid and meaningless death it
deserves.  Now, before I sic my milk on it.

>Everything in this post, except for this statement, will
>be contradicted by Ryan, I know it.

Not everything.  See?  You're wrong TWICE.  Nyaah!

--
                                             _        _
       Ryan Franklin          |             Ro shite ko nashi.
 is a registered trademark of |  ("Working hard and accomplishing nothing.")
 franklir@gas.uug.arizona.edu |                       -- Ancient Zen Koan
Newsgroups: alt.newgroup,alt.config,alt.licker.store
From: osa@orville.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska)
Subject: Re: Another listing of newsgroups in the "alt" Usenet hierarchy
X-Advertisement: Use Emacs
Followup-To: alt.newgroup,alt.config,alt.licker.store,alt.test,misc.test
Comments: Earthquake predicters are fault finders
Organization: Springfield Elementary School
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 04:25:36 GMT
X-Posted-From: orville.unh.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu


Bruce Becker sayz: 
=> alt.licker.store	0000046	Hiccup!

No, no, NOOOO!!!!! THIS IS AN ICE CREAM / COFFEE STORE!!!@!@!@ YOU
SHOULD POST ABOUT COFFEE!!@!@!@!@ LIKE I HAD A CAPPUCINO TONIGHT!@!@!@
NOT DECAF, YOU KNOW?  

--
The opinions expressed above are my own, and not necessarily those of UNH.

			       HUG ME!
Xref: sparky alt.newgroup:25 alt.config:6851 alt.licker.store:54 alt.test:14978 misc.test:12999
From: corleyj@helium.gas.uug.arizona.edu (Jason D Corley )
Newsgroups: alt.newgroup,alt.config,alt.licker.store,alt.test,misc.test
Subject: Re: Another listing of newsgroups in the "alt" Usenet hierarchy
Date: 12 Nov 92 19:19:46 GMT
Organization: University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ

In article <OSA.92Nov10232536@orville.unh.edu> osa@orville.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
>
>Bruce Becker sayz: 
>=> alt.licker.store	0000046	Hiccup!
>
>No, no, NOOOO!!!!! THIS IS AN ICE CREAM / COFFEE STORE!!!@!@!@ YOU
>SHOULD POST ABOUT COFFEE!!@!@!@!@ LIKE I HAD A CAPPUCINO TONIGHT!@!@!@
>NOT DECAF, YOU KNOW?  
>

No, its not an ice cream/coffee store.  It's not even a licker
store or even a liquour store or a College Football debate (there's
an oxymoron) forum!  (Anymore...)

This newsgroup is dedicated to 2 things:

First, the proposition that this newsgroup is not dedicated to
anything, and that any attempt to dedicate it thusly is
pointless.
and
Second, the ideals of DIALECTICAL MATERIALISM!, though the only
reason it belongs here is that it too is pointless, but that
doesn't mean it's pointless!

Also, this newsgroup has too cool a title to let die.
Almost as good as alt.flame.hairy-douchebag.meredith-tanner,
but that group has the disadvantage of actually having
people making posts that have something to do with flaming
Meredith Tanner who, apparently, is a hairy douchebag.

(Efforts to turn it into a Catch-22 discussion group are
currently in progress.  Stay tooned!)

Everything in this post, except for this statement, will
be contradicted by Ryan, I know it.

	Jason
Frank, bring me a hammer, a chisel, and your ankle...
From: hartman@informix.com (Robert Hartman)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Re: A Pagan trying to recover
Date: 5 Nov 92 18:51:35 GMT
Organization: Informix Software, Inc.

In article <1992Nov4.235128.25458@wam.umd.edu> porta@wam.umd.edu (David Delney Palmer) writes:
>
>  Hello everybody,
>	I am a chemically depenent person who is in the process of recovery
>from addiction in general.  My addition also includes food.
>	My problem is this; the conventional concept of spirituality of God
>has not worked for me in 12step programs.  I am someone who has recently 
>decided to pursue a spirtual path in earth based religions(no it is not SatanismThese religions and spiritual paths have many dieties both male and female.
>I have a problem when I'm told to believe in "Him" as if the is only one God.
>I could be wrong, but the 12 steps do seem to have a built in Christian bias
>to it.  Also, being told to get down on my knees and pray is something that I
>have a problem with because it really isn't the way we make contact with HP's.
>Are there any other people who are in the same situation sa me?
>
>I would like comments from anyone.
>
>Thank you
>David,

I think that there are an awful lot of people in your same situation.
Although there is an Xian bias in the original 12-Step group, it is
just a bias.  Despite the zeal of some Xians in some meetings, it is not
difinitive, but something that a person can easily leave with the rest.

I was indoctrinated by fundamentalist Christians in my early teens, and
had to do some serious work at expunging my very harsh and judgemental
concept of the divine soon after getting into recovery.  I have a real
problem with the Xian bias, but as long as I don't have to pray in ways
that I don't like (and no one does in any 12-Step group), I let it go.

Some people find comfort in that bias, and I see no need to deny them
that.  Real contact with one's HP is not something that can be defined
anyway, so if someone tries to tell you how to pray, that person is
interfering with your recovery.  You don't have to take that seriously.
If it's a sponsor doing that, I'd suggest getting another one.

-r
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: mwk20@ccc.amdahl.com (Michael W Knowles)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Re: anger
Date: 5 Nov 92 16:15:11 GMT
Reply-To: mwk20@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com (Michael W Knowles)
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

Anger unexpressed builds up like a volcano.  I've seen it in my
father, who apparently is incapable of talking about any of
his feelings.  My guess is that he doesn't know how to, or at
least never learned from his parents.

I'm newly entered into recovery -- this is my 16th day of
sobriety -- and admission of powerlessness is something I work
on each day.  I guess the Steps are a lifelong process, not
a set of assignments that are completed and soon forgotten.

I've gotten in touch with my Higher Power as I understand it,
and I'm finding that opening myself and allowing myself to
feel a full range of emotions has been enormously liberating.

WANTED: Chauffeur with a sense of direction.  Must be musical
        and have a sense of humor.  Take me where you want me
        to go.
From: weiss@leopard.cs.uidaho.edu (Phil Weiss)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Please ignore this
Date: 11 Nov 1992 19:50:33 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

I'm just rtying out a new method of posting, and I'm not
sure if alt.recovery is carried via this method.

--
Philip Weiss    Laboratory for Applied Logic    weiss@leopard.cs.uidaho.edu
(Disclaimer: My views are not their views)      weiss872@snake.cs.uidaho.edu
From: christin@cae.wisc.edu (Christine Haas)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Addicted to Love
Date: 7 Nov 92 17:02:06 GMT
Organization: U of Wisconsin-Madison College of Engineering

Hi

I recently read a post here about getting over relationships
and I would like to recommend a book I found useful.

	Addiction to Love
	-Susan Peabody

It discusses how to deal with this addition and how to change
your attitudes to lead a more healthy life.  Its a very small
book - with a wonderful picture on the cover - you have to see it.

Good luck to you all,

Chris.
-- 


%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: cfthb@ux1.cts.eiu.edu (Howard Black)
Subject: Re: Violence at AA meetings
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 15:23:10 GMT
Organization: Eastern Illinois University

In article <1992Nov11.110441.10045@vax.oxford.ac.uk> jeremy@vax.oxford.ac.uk (Jeremy Martin) writes:
>I have been to several AA meetings recently that have been disrupted by a very
>violent drunk. He goads and threatens people until he gets thrown out. That is
    [a few lines deleted]
>that he recovers. Does anybody have any experience of dealing with violence at
>meetings that they would care to share? What can we do to protect ourselves
>that is consistent with the twelve traditions?

    Do what you would do in a similar situation away from AA.  Call the
police.  I saw this happen several times at the AA mtg. house in Milwaukee.
The only reason for handling it any other way, IMHO, would be some attempt
to enable the drunk to escape the consequence of his/her illness.

-- 
   ******************************************************************
     Howard Black                             cfthb@ux1.cts.eiu.edu
     Department of Chemistry                  Eastern Illinois Univ. 
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: confused@cwis.unomaha.edu (stephen richard smith)
Subject: Re: Violence at AA meetings
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 07:44:15 GMT



jeremy@vax.oxford.ac.uk (Jeremy Martin) writes:

>I have been to several AA meetings recently that have been disrupted by a very
>violent drunk. He goads and threatens people until he gets thrown out. That is
>if there is anybody who feels like they want to throw him out. He has hit
>people in the meetings and threatens to kill people. Attendances at meetings
>seem to be dropping off. Perhaps newcomers are being frightened away, possibly
>for good. Our traditions state that our common welfare should come first. I am
>personally frightened of this man, yet at the same time I like him and hope
>that he recovers. Does anybody have any experience of dealing with violence at
>meetings that they would care to share? What can we do to protect ourselves
>that is consistent with the twelve traditions?
>			     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                     I never read where We had to subject ourselvs to violence
		
>					Jeremy      
     While I LOATH the idea of ever kicking some one out and before reading
this I never thought the was EVER a reason, I always have said if someone 
comes to a meeting drunk, well all it says is "have a desire to..." and
if they are at the meeting then they must (court sent excepted) drunk or
otherwise. BUT if I was in your situation I think I would A>  call the 
police or B> boot his ass out (or knock his ass out) 
   I would (have done this on twelve step calls involving violent drunks)
before I take action(or while I am taking action) let the idiot know I
will always be there to help I will climb a mountain to help him/her
BUT I WILL NOT ALLOW said drunk to threaten me or anyone else.and I
will take whatever steps I have to to insure he is not a threat.
   I have also waited around for the idiot to sober up, I have found
that just like I was, when the drunk isn't drunk he is more willing and capable
of listening.
   I have faced this behavior on twelve step calls but thank God not at 
meetings. You said people aren't coming the meeting is droping of This man
may have already killed someone--- A newcomer may have seen this and 
either said to him/herself these people are crazy and dangerous, that
newcomer may be lyeing on a slab now because they went back out got drunk
and died or they were there because it was their last hope, after seeing this
idiot they went home gave up and put the pistol to there head.
   
--
_________________________________________________________________________
| NEBRASKA 52 COLORADO 7 HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA.HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA|
| RIVALRY?? HA,HA,HA GOTTA STOP LAUGHING 52-7 HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: ethridge@bnr.ca (Allen Ethridge)
Subject: Re: A Pagan trying to recover
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Richardson, Tx.
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 1992 16:04:49 GMT

In article <1dd921INNcgh@charnel.ecst.csuchico.edu> btowle@ecst.csuchico.edu (Brendon Blaire Towle) writes:
>In article <1992Nov05.042951.16832@bnr.ca> ethridge@bnr.ca (Allen Ethridge) writes:
>>
>>Yes, i know, not much help here, but you asked for comments from anyone,
>>and i like to criticize the twelve steps any time i can.
>>-- 
>>allen@well.sf.ca.us
>>ethridge@bnr.ca
>>my opinions are my own
>
>Where I come from, recovery is about (in part) helping others.  Criticizing
>the twelve steps because of your own undealt-with resentment is merely
>spreading the disease.  Carrying that anger must be _so_ satisfying!
>
>(Yes, this is from personal experience)
>
>Brendon 

It may be from your personal experience, it's not from mine.  Don't make so
many assumptions.  Why is it that twelve-steppers are so sensitive about
criticism of the twelve steps?  (Is there something "undealt-with" there?)

As far as helping others, the rest of my post, which you conveniently left out,
was a response offering suggestions to someone who was having trouble with
the "Christian bias" of the twelve steps.  Are you saying that offering
alternatives to the twelve steps is not helpful?  Are you saying that the
twelve steps are the only method of recovery from chemical dependency?

Can you understand why i might enjoy criticizing the twelve steps when i
see people presenting the twelves steps as the _only_ method of recovery?
-- 
allen@well.sf.ca.us
ethridge@bnr.ca
my opinions are my own
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: maxwell@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Mark Story)
Subject: Alcohol
Date: Sun, 08 Nov 1992 08:13:11 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

Hello world.

I have nothing to say, except that the 'Subject' line describes what most of my
thoughts and actions involve!

Mark