Return-Path: crispen <@ada3.ca.boeing.com:crispen@efftoo>
X-Envelope-To: ALLMUSIC@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.allmusic
Date:         Tue, 6 Oct 1992 13:39:21 CDT
From:         crispen <crispen@EFFTOO.BOEING.COM>
Subject:      Re: Barfalicious Tunes and Artists (summary)

I have rearranged the names, artists and choons so not even I can remember
whose comment goes with what (anonymity 'R' us).  After the first few,
I realized that the comments from our readers were better than just
the listing, so I included them.

The participants in our lovefest were:
	"Michael H. Bloom" MHB@mitvma.mit.edu
	Me
	Gary gmgettie@thama1.apgea.army.mil
	Scott Hammer <SCOTH@WMVM1.CC.WM.EDU>
	Tim Johnson <ST402711@BROWNVM.brown.edu>
	Ken Koester <MAINT2%ERS.BITNET@VTVM2.CC.VT.EDU>
	Sonia Kovitz <skovitz@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
	Little Inquisitor <U33963@UICVM.UIC.EDU>
	Rick mmlrick@ubvm.cc.buffalo.edu
	MMORSE@VM1.YorkU.CA
	Jenna jcs <GE777009@BROWNVM.brown.edu>
	Bob T RTURNBUL@TOROVM1.VNET.IBM.COM

We had clear-cut winners in our classical piece and pop artist categories,
but there seemed to be too many bad classical artists and pop pieces to
let just one paragon of vilitude float to the top of our toilet bowl.
Here's the results.

(a) The "classical" (nope, can't define it) piece you hate the most.
	Delibes: Les Sylphides
	Handel: Messigha (and i hate the way i spell it too)
	Mozart: Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
	Pachelbel: Canon (Broque + Doo-Wop = Doo-doo)
	Ravel: Bolero! * 3  <= *** WINNER ***
		Totally boring, unless you're in the middle of doing what it
		describes.
	Rogers:  Victory at Sea
	R. Strauss: Also Sprach Zarathustra -- dull, herniated muck.
		Even if it weren't commercialized and 2001-ed to death I'd
		still hate it.
	I absolutely, positively hate Wagner the most--I can barely stand to
		type the dreaded name--but does it count if classical music
		ended after Beethoven?
	Wagner: Die Valkyrie
	Don't have one, but there are some whose pro-Nazi views are truly
		loathsome

(b) The "classical" artist/performer you hate the most.
	Jose Carreras -- ruins everything he touches; the archetypical
		dumb tenor.  Don't care if he's sick.  Just don't care.
	Fiedler's dead, and Ozawa's problems are mostly insufferable hubris
		rather than rank unmusicality, and John Williams has nothing
		to do with classical music ;-), so I'm gonna go with
		James Galway.
	Luciano Pavarotti. 275 pounds of self-satisfied glitz.
		Should have been a castrato.
	Christopher Parkening
	Rachmaninov (who was not Rachmaninov to make real music)
	That guy from the Carefree gum commercial

(c) The "popular" (rock, jazz, pop, you name it) piece you hate the most.
	"Achy, Breaky Heart"
	"Blue Velvet"
	"Feelings" (Cannot be made to sound less than total kitsch by
		anybody anyhow; Albert Ayler could play it with Jimi Hendrix
		and it would still be "Feelings"..)
	"Having My Baby" by Paul Anka.  Nobody, not even a punk
		band spitting this out with obvious irony, could keep
		this odious pro-life propaganda off this worst piece of
		musical shit ever produced.
	That "I Love You SO MUCH" song by Heart (may not be the actual title).
	"Killing Me Softly With His Song"
	"Losing My Religion"
	"Mandy" by Barry Manilow.
		I was tempted to say "I Write the Songs," also done by
		Manilow but written by Bruce Johnston in an attempt to
		distinguish himself from Brian Wilson. Then it occurred to me
		that, except for the Mozart rip, they're effectively the same
		song.
	"Mi Amore"--Color Me Nauseous
	"To All The Girls I've Loved Before" by Julio Iglesias and Willie
		Nelson.

(d) The "popular" artist/performer you hate the most.
	Michael Bolton * 2
	KENNY G!!! Die die die die die!!! Excuse me. I feel better now ;)
	Madonna * 5  <= *** WINNER ***
		Is it too pat to say McDonna?

		Madonna.  I think that Milli Vanilli and NKOTB will, in the
		long run, leave little mark on pop music.  But I think that
		Madonna has changed popular music forever, and is a major
		influence, and is from every perspective a bad influence.
		She's turned music into fashion, and put it into the hands of
		the mega corporations.  She's been an example to the record
		companies of the value of million dollar promotion schemes
		for a single artist who is famous for being famous, who sells
		sex, who markets titillation - instead of pursuing smaller
		bands who make real music, who have integrity, and who may
		never make millions, but can make back the investment and
		turn a modest profit.  Bolero and Madonna.  Bleah.

	Paul McCartney
	R.E.M.
	Randy Travis
	Andrew Lloyd Webber, hands down: the vilest schlockmeister
		in music history, all the sickening vices of Lawrence Welk,
		Heintje, John Williams, Jerry Herman, and any second-year
		conservatory hack, rolled into one unbearably pretentious,
		putrescent, utterly tone-deaf package

Despite my firm, fist-like warning that only the top choice would count,
some of you gave some second choices anyway:

Tunes:
	Achy, Breaky Heart
	I Just Called To Say I Love You
	Any stupid love song by most pop/metal bands.
	Er, Opera? Not a whole genre, eh?
	Pachelbel's Canon
	Rap? Ok ok ok, um...
	That's What Friends Are For
	Theme From Love Story

Artists:

	Billy Joel
	Barry Manilow
	Madonna

Conclusion:  So much crap out there, so little time to enjoy it!

Thanks, and love to all,
+-------------------------------+--------------------------------------+
| Rev. Bob "Bob" Crispen        | Music should not be held responsible |
| crispen@foxy.boeing.com       |   for the people who listen to it.   |
+-------------------------------+--------------------------------------+
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