From: SMB2866@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Spina Bifida)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Star Trek Drinking Game: The New Space-Efficient Edition!
Date: 2 Oct 1992 20:21:58 -0500
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu
X-Unparseable-Date: 02 Oct 1992 21:21:14 -0400 (EDT)

                       Star Trek: The Next Generation
                        The Canonical Drinking Game
    Special Space-Efficient Edition by Michael N Bastedo, Oberlin College

Requirements:   Episode(s) of ST:TNG
		This list
		People (the more the merrier)
		Beverages of your choice
 
Instructions: Simple.  Watch the show, and whenever a condition is met,
take the appropriate number of drinks.  The definition of "drink" should be 
decided before game play starts.  Usually, a good mouthful will suffice.  
Optional rules are included  at the end of the list for fun variations on the 
"standard" game.
 
Compiler's Note: I would advise taking some time before game play starts
to decide which conditions to use and which to ignore. Remember that this list 
is canonical, so you probably will not want to use them all (especially with a 
new episode, since you'll spend all your time reading the list, rather
than watching).  Please send any corrections, suggestions, requests, 
submissions, flames, etc. to the address listed above.


General Quotes:

"Open hailing frequencies"				1
"Medical emergency"					1	
"Belay that order"					1
"Energize"						1
"Hell", "Damn" and other swearing.			1
  SEE ALSO: Riker's special swearing rules. 
"It's not like anything I've ever seen before"		1
"Impossible"						1
"Impossible" while watching the "impossible"		2
"Shut up, Wesley"					3
"On screen"						1
"Understood"						1
"Set phasers on..."					1
"Acknowledged"						1
"Priority One"						1
"Just a little more time...!"				1
"Eastern/Western/Southern/Northern Continent"		2
"The Klingon Home Planet" or other reference
  without actually giving it a name.			2


General Actions:

A female crewmember has flawless makeup after
  she's been put through the ringer			1
A crewmember straightens his/her uniform		1 ea.
  SEE ALSO: Picard's special uniform rules. 
A crewmember drinks (outside of 10 Forward)		1 ea.
  SEE ALSO: Picard's special drinking rules.
A bridge officer is seen in casual clothes		1 ea.
  SEE ALSO: Picard's & Beverly's special clothing rules.
A bridge officer is seen in dress uniform		1 ea.
"Ensign Ethnic" or "Ensign Buxom" gets a line		1
Someone is referred to by their first name		1
First names while sexual tension present		2
The sarcophagus is used in sickbay			2
Nobody leaves the ship, but we still see more
  than one room of the alien ship/planet/etc		2
The same matte painting of an alien planet is
  used after each commercial break			1
The matte painting has a moving ground vehicle		2
Transporter Room 3 is used				1
A shuttlecraft appears unsafe				1
Someone reads a book					1
Mention of dilithium crystals				1
Someone adopts a persona				1 ea.
Someone receives a shot					1
Someone receives a shot from a non-medical officer	2
A new alien has latex on its forehead			1
A new alien also has differently shaped hands		1
A new alien doesn't have latex on its forehead		2
Someone preaches the Prime Directive			1
Someone other than Picard preaches the P.D.		2
Someone preaches about "Humanity's Unique Potential"	1
An "Old Earth Saying" is brought up			1
A member of the bridge crew takes over
  by pushing someone out of the way			2
Someone wakes up from a nightmare			1
The bridge crew contemplates mutiny			3
The holodeck appears in its "natural" state		2
Holodeck characters become aware of their own
  ephemerality						2
Someone implies that 10 Forward is a Happening Place	1
They fade to commercial playing the "ominous horns"	1
They fade to commercial with a soap-opera-like
  close up on someone's face				1
The Enterprise is hurled somewhere by another
  force (Q, Tin Man, etc.)				2
Klingon is spoken					1
English is spoken by Klingons when they are
  alone and have no reason to speak English		2
Picard or Riker order a course change by exact 
  X, Y, and Z coordinates, rather
  than something like "Set course for Starbase 8"	3
The computer makes the "I'm listening" chirp		1
An "expendable" is killed				1 ea.   
A new alien ship is revealed				1
Something escapes the sensors				1
Something escapes the sensors and they use
  "interference" as an excuse				2
Communications malfunction/go out			1
Transporter goes down					1
A token alien is shown in the background
  and has no lines					1
The token alien is a Vulcan				2
Yellow Alert						1
Red Alert						2
Intruder Alert						3
The Enterprise docks at a starbase			3
Another Captain or Starfleet Command officer is shown	1
A desk hologram is seen					2
There is a countdown					1
Someone stops the countdown				2
[BBridge command is handed over				1
The Enterprise avoids conflict instead of using force	1
The Enterprise actually fights (shots must be fired)	2
Someone uses the episode's title in a sentence		2
The saucer section separates				Whole Beverage
They contact someone via communicator or
  intercom without activating it			1
Communicators don't work				1
Communicators are out of range				2
The battle bridge is used				1
The battle bridge is used with the saucer
  section still attached				2
TNG contradicts a fact stated in TOS			2
Dialogue in the turbolift				1
A poker game is shown					1
A log entry is made					1
A log entry is made - not by Picard			2
A stardate is mentioned - not in a log entry		1
An Old Earth Date is mentioned				2
Someone requests that an image on the
  main viewer be magnified				1
Someone requests magnification when it's
  painfully obvious that it's necessary			2
Readings go off the scale				1
The ship/crew is seconds away from disaster		1
Someone removes their communicator			1
Someone places their communicator on something
  so it can be beamed away or destroyed			2
Someone gives their communicator to a non-crewmember
  so they can communicate with the Enterprise		3
The transporter room can't lock on to someone		1
The transporter room pulls someone through
  after their ship explodes				2
Someone who normally pronounces "sensors" as
  "SEN-sers" pronounces it as "SEN-sohrs"		1
Someone brings up the matter/antimatter ratio		1
A member of the bridge crew looks WAY too
  pleased with him/herself				1
A Captain's Log entry is made by someone
  other than Picard					2
A sound effect from TOS is heard			1
The camera pans to show how BIG the ship		1
Someone changes their pronunciation of a word
  within the same scene					1
Someone throws/is hit by/etc. styrofoam props		1
Someone quotes Shakespeare, etc. (See Picard)		1
A bad fight scene occurs				1
The Enterprise is taken over				1
The weapons are rendered useless			1
Phasers are used for a different function than
  intended (e.g. overload, power a transporter, etc.)	1
Harmonics are changed in shields/phasers/etc.		1
Someone alludes to a work/person/event/etc.
  that hasn't been made/existed/happened yet		1
A guest appearance is made by someone from TOS		3
Security alert or request				1
Part of a set is destroyed in a fistfight		2
A succession of five face closeups with no dialogue	1
A shuttlecraft is launched				2
A probe is launched					1
Someone mentions Jack Crusher				2
Someone is seen out of uniform (in civvies)		2
The Enterprise is boarded by hostiles			2
The warp engine light goes really fast			2
The auto-destruct sequence is activated			3
A principle character is put on trial			1
The Enterprise is captured in a nebula/cloud		1
A star returns from the dead				Whole Beverage
Ancient alien technology screws things up		1
Someone is transported to somewhere other than
  a transporter room or sickbay from
  somewhere other than a transporter room		2
The Enterprise encounters an unknown energy form	1


Picard Quotes 

"Make it so"						1  
"Engage"						1
"Come"							1
"Come" (in personal quarters)				2
"Captain's Log"						1
"Captain's Log, Supplemental"				2
"Proceed"						1
"Number One"						1
"The boy" in reference to Wesley			1

Picard Actions

Straightens his uniform					2
Straightens his uniform before giving a speech		3
Drinks							2
Drinks tea						3
Drinks tea identified as Earl Grey			4
Wears chest-revealing bedwear				2
Has an accident or is attacked				2
Accident or attack draws blood				3
Is possessed						4
Requests a Level One Diagnostic				1
Makes a speech that saves the day			1
Tries to avoid Lwuxana Troi				1
Surrenders						1
Leaves the ship						1
Leaves the ship to lead an away team			1
Demonstrates knowledge of a foreign language		1
Swears/hurls an insult in a foreign language		2
Appears uncomfortable (around women, children)		1
Quotes Shakespeare, etc.				2
Leaves the bridge during a crisis to talk with
 Dr. Crusher or Guinan					1
Talks about death to Dr. Crusher			1
Takes a communique from Starfleet in his ready room	1
Is called upon to mediate a dispute			2
Takes the helm in a tricky situation			3
Is seen on the bridge out of uniform			2
Calls a meeting						1
Calls a meeting in the middle of a crisis		2
Cries							Whole Beverage

Worf Quotes

"Impressive"						1
"Admirable"						1
"Grrrrr" (A simple sneer qualifies)			1
"I am a Klingon"					1
"Klingons do NOT..."					1
"Security Override!"					2
"Human women are too fragile"				2

Worf Actions

Uses the word "human" in a sense meaning puny,
 weak, or otherwise not Klingon				2
Gets beat up						1
Actually wins a fight					2
Throws someone in the brig/Arrests someone		2
Asks for an explanation of a human term/custom		1
Says something with a tilt of his head/nod		1
Has a suggestion shot down offhandedly			2
Fusses about his discommendation			2
Makes a reference to his sexual prowess			2
Mentions/Participates in some bizarre Klingon ritual	2

Data Quotes

"Fascinating"						1
"Accessing"						1
"Inquiry"						1
"Intriguing"						1
"I am an android"					1
"I cannot feel emotions", etc				1
"Increase speed"					1

Data Actions

Uses his strength					1
Uses his strength and shows up Worf			2
Uses his superior android speed				1
Innards are revealed					1
Innards are revealed other than his head		2
Is cut off mid-sentence					1
Is cut off during a list of synonyms			2
Stops himself during an inappropriate speech		2
Has to have "An Old Earth Saying" explained		2
Gives a list of synonyms for the term he did
 not understand						1
Is able to interpret/use alien technology in no time	1
Uses a new colloquialism				1
Uses a contraction					Whole Beverage
Affects a human mannerism (e.g. Sherlock Data)		2
Corrects somebody's grammar				1
Brent Spiner breaks character for comic effect		1
Gives an approximation out to several decimal places	1
Does that little head twitch				1
Gets kissed, etc.					3
Is told that he's more human than he thinks		2
Saves the ship, beams down, or hangs around infected
people because situation is too dangerous for humans3

Riker Quotes

"Hell"							2
"What the hell is going on?"				Whole Beverage
"You are personally responsible for the
 'Captain's safety'" to Worf				2
"With pleasure, sir"					1

Riker Actions

Walks forward as if he's trying to knock an 
 imaginary door down with his forehead			1
Demonstrates knowledge of a foreign language		1
Swears/hurls an insult in a foreign language		2
Thrusts his chin out with a smug look			1
Stands with his feet more than 2 ft. apart		1 per 'beyond 2' 
Pronounces a word in a way that does not match
 his heritage (e.g. charade=shur-AHD)			2
Acts blatantly like Kirk				1
Gets that annoying smirk on his face			1
Gets the girl						1
Gets the girl for no apparent reason			2

LaForge Quotes

"...lost a lotta good people down there..."		1
"Maybe not" in response to "Impossible"			2
"I'm workin' on it!"					1

LaForge Actions

Visor is taken or knocked off				1
Tweaks the warp engines/shields/tractor beams		1
Wishes he had human vision				1
Is used as a "human tricorder"				1
Sees with his own eyes (VISORless)			Whole Beverage
Interacts with a woman in the holodeck			2

Beverly Quotes

"This won't hurt a bit"					1
"This shouldn't be happening"				1
"Nothing yet, but we're working on it"			1
"He's dead <pause>"					1
"He's gone..."						2
"This man is dying!"					3

Beverly Actions

Can't figure out some bizarre medical problem		1
Uses the word "stumped" in regards to problem		2
Is seen in a sweater					2
Beams directly to sickbay or orders someone to
 be beamed directly to sickbay				1
Is seen on the bridge for no apparent reason		1
Appears without her lab coat				1
Appears without her lab coat in sickbay			2
Uses one of her ridiculous 24th century medical terms	1
Performs major surgery					2
Diagnoses something really obvious			1
Shows maternal instinct					2
Loses a patient						2

Deanna Quotes

"What do YOU think about that?" or other quote
 reminiscent of ELIZA					1
"Are you troubled?" (when they obviously are)		1
"Mother!  Please...!"					1
"I sense..."						2

Deanna Actions

Senses something really shockin				1
Shows Betazoid insight into something really obviou	2
Senses (and lists) more than one emotio			1
Crie							2
Is hit o						1
Rolls her eye						1
Can't shut out all the feelings				1

O'Brien Actions

Has a line in a first or second season episode		1
Disables a weapon during transport			1

Wesley Quotes

"It's easy!" (or "simple", etc.)			1
"Wow", "Gee", "Ooh", etc.				1

Wesley Actions

Talks back to his mom					1
Saves the day						1
Saves the day and nobody understands his
 pseudoscientific babbling				2
Saves the day and nobody thanks him			2
Appears to be hitting on someone			1
Gets that annoying "impish" grin			1
Creates some spiffy new science project			1
Gets that "I'm not just a kid" attitude			1
Swallows really hard					1
Has his life threatened					2
Has his life threatened and he dies			Party like it's 1999!
Is seen with a girl (other than when on duty)		3

Lwuxana Quote

"Little One" in reference to Deanna			1

Lwuxana Actions

Reads Picard's mind (or pretends to)			1
Referred to in an episode in which she doesn't appear	1

Yar Actions

Suggests that the Enterprise fight, upon
 meeting another ship, etc.				1
Denise Crosby makes a guest appearance			1
Decks someone						1
Decks someone just to show her strength, etc.		2

Pulaski

Mispronounces Data's name				1
Calls Data "it" or accuses him of being unable
 to do something because he's an android		1
Cuts Picard off						1

Guinan

Makes someone sigh at the end of a talk			1
Talks about "her people"				1


				Variations


"Engage", "Make It So", "Energize", "Accessing", "On Screen" and "Magnify"
are shot words - you must take a drink unless you say the exact word _in
unison_ with the dialogue.  Two drinks if you say the wrong word.
 
Whenever Riker appears in a scene, the last person to say "Oink Oink" takes
a drink.
 
If Troi "senses" something, everyone must stick a finger down their throats
and make gagging sounds - last one to do so takes a drink. (This one could
be dangerous in the latter stages of the game.)
 
At the start of a commercial break, guess who will do the next log entry. 
Take a drink if you're wrong.  If there's no log entry, everyone drinks.
 
When Data launches into a long explanation, the last person to interrupt
with "Thank you, Commander..." takes a drink.  Doesn't count if you say it
after it's said on the screen.
 
Whenever Wesley saves the ship, throw something at the TV.  Take a drink if
you don't hit Wesley.
 
Before the show, everyone predicts Dr. Crusher's hairstyle.  Everyone who
is wrong has to take a drink.
 
Whenever Troi gets a headache, drink until the headache subsides.
 
Before the show, everyone predicts Guinan's hat style (stop sign or
teardrop).  Everyone who is wrong has to take a drink. 
 
Whenever Data embarasses himself, drink until somebody stops him.