From: Z57N000 <Z57N@UNB.CA>
Subject: Re: The Anonymous Service: This Waiter Has A Fake Accent
Organization: The University of New Brunswick
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 19:22:56 GMT

In article <1992Aug13.084627.21629@qiclab.scn.rain.com> sallyb@qiclab.scn.rain.com (Sally Bowley) writes:
>In article <12AUG92.22401331.0037@UNBVM1.CSD.UNB.CA> Z57N000 <Z57N@UNB.CA> writes:
>
>(stuff deleted for bandwidth)
>we
>"lost" phoenix, an insightful and supportive poster as a result. people
>took sides, as is usual, and tension, anger and hostility were
>paramount. apart from a couple of neutral (i hope) posts, i decided to
>stay out of it all; there was an element of "weirdness" to it all that
>i couldn't and still can't, put my finger on. as i saw it, you
>literally exploded onto the group - withsome *very* intelligent and
>well written posts - and then everything went haywire as people seemed
>to bend over backwards to accomodate your needs. i'm not saying that
>these needs weren't justified - it was just amazing how many people
>became involved. every other post related to your situation. then just
>at the peak of it all and seemingly as suddenly as it had all begun -
>it stopped. we heard nothing from you, scott, prisoner, either
>directly or indirectly. i realize you didn't have net access, but from
>a sometimes twice daily update by scott - nothing.
>
PHOENIX no longer has net access either, so his loss would have been
imminent anyway within about a week of his quitting the group. Prisoner,
I believe, was covering his own rear end. Scott got the impression that
ever since he revealed that Bill Wells and Priz were one in the same
the group was hostile enough an environment for him that he felt safer
not posting. (At least that's what i could get out of it -- i may be
wrong).

I was astounded at the amount of people who showed up on my side,
sally. Quite.

>joined us, discussions have continued, new topic introduced etc etc. i
>gues it began to feel safe again for a lot of folks. now here we are
>again, it seems, with more of what i interpret as incendary comments.
>you say you're not going to name names for fearing of causing more of
>a scene than is necessary. is that what you're trying to do, relkie?
>cause a scene? it seems so to me. and i *sincerely* apologize if i am
>wrong here, but i feel what i feel. if you have a genuine need or
>purpose for posting what you have, then come out and tell us what it
>is, don't make inflamatory half remarks and then back away waiting for
>the fire to start. you say "let's play what do we know here" - that's
>exactly what i feel you are doing - playing a bit of a game.

I am not trying to cause a scene. If that were my motive I would have
come right out and said person x raped me. I am seriously afraid for the
anon posters, that a similar game might be played with their minds off
asar where we can't see it that was played with my mind. I am also afrai
d for my own personal safety. I don't know what the legal ramifications
would be for me to come out and attach a name to an event. I don't have
the time, energy money or strength to go through more than I have to.
I've been quite literally going through hell since I got out of the
hospital. I don't need any more fear. If I can identify the so-called
benefactor without using his name, alias or mail address then I will.
And I do believe I have. I DO NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DIRECTLY ACCUSE
HIM!!!!!

I had been under the impression that the anon-service was being shut
down. I also felt that enough was known about the character of the admin
that people would steer clear and bring themselves nonanon (or post
through someone else). Perhaps I am being overcautious from the scars.

I have many friends who have known about this for quite some time.
Several people have been encouraging me to come forward. And let's face
it, it's not like it's irrelevant.

If because I have tried to say, "look, I was screwed over by this person
and I don't want it to happen to anyone else," I am no longer welcome on
ASAR, if because the consensus is that I am too incendiary, then I shall
recede and keep to myself. But this shouldn't have to be thecase. I love
this newsgroup. I care deeply about the people on it, no matter what,
and I don't like to see people get hurt.

Sally, anyone who does what was done to me should not be placed in a
position of power and influence in such a group as this. The man needs
serious therapy. I've seen his pattern. So 100 other posters may be
left alone. What about the one naive soul who has no choice but to post
anonymously, like me back in May and June, and who may end up another
relkie? The emotional dependence, the double-parasite cycle, it's
unhealthy and I am trying to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

I thought my original post concerning the issue was enough. I was going
to leave it at that. Then I got some feedback: "someone might think that
the so-called benefactor was someone else." I wasn't clear. I wanted to
be clear on the identity without using a name. And if I went overboard,
I went overboard and I'm sorry.

What did I want to happen? I WANTED THERE TO NEVER BE ANOTHER INCIDENT
LIKE THE LAST ONE. I'm sorry for wanting to be the last one.

I am not trying to flame, I am trying to be firm.

When I said the perpetrator can reveal himself, I meant it to read like
"he can admit what he did and give his side of the story." I
truly! doubt that will happen.

Forgive me for coming off as manipulative. That wasn't what I was
tryingto do at all. I don't play games.

RELKIE

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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery