HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: wag5@quads.uchicago.edu (john peter wagner)
Subject: Re: Dead Professors and Tuition Refunds
Reply-To: wag5@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 22:22:29 GMT

In article <1993Jan23.194145.830@sol.ctr.columbia.edu> zarthac@bradley.edu (Matthew Simmons) writes:
>Adam Levin (st902415@pip.cc.brandeis.edu) wrote:
>: In a similar vein, recently a guy at Simon's Rock of Bard College went
>: on a shooting spree the week before final, killing two. They sent the 
>: entire school home the next day! I wish I knew what happened there,
>: because if it was good, I can think of a few people here who can surely
>: be sacrificed for the greater good (insert smiley here for the humor 
>: impaired.) 
>This is what confuses me...  Why do people go on shooting sprees and only kill
>one or two people?  At the least, they have 6 bullets, and if they're smart,
>they have a MAC-10 (available in your local neighborhood ghetto) or Uzi, etc..
>I mean, if you're going to go on a shooting spree, why not do it right?  Wait
>until you're in the middle of a crowd, pull out said MAC-10, pull the trigger,
>and pivot....  (Just a thought...)
>zarthac@cs1    \               / Macs are more bullet proof, because the  /

	Well, I'm sure he would've liked to, except that his
gun was a semi-automatic. What that means is that it can only shoot
one bullet per squeeze of the trigger.  Thus, it is like any police
revolver or semi-automatic rifle. I think what you want is a fully-
automatic weapon, but those are extremely hard to get. In fact, they
may well be illegal where he lives.  Maybe you could go and get
your full-auto Uzi from one of the millions of Israeli citizens
who carry them on a daily basis.

			John
From: wag5@quads.uchicago.edu (john peter wagner)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Prof death
Date: 26 Jan 93 23:23:06 GMT
Reply-To: wag5@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago

Well, we had a guy here who was ASSASINATED.  .25 caliber bullet
to the head a year or so back in the third floor men's room in the
Divinity School.  Apparently he had been writing anti-government
stuff to the papers in his home country and that ticked people
with money and/or guns off.

			John
From: spam@wuntvor.pillar.com (Dale Bryant)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Dr. Staff
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 93 14:59:26 CST
Distribution: world
Organization: The Eternal Apprentice BBS, Norman, OK

I'll be glad to ask Dr. Staff any questions you might have...
I have a class with the good Doctor at "TBA"... (What time is that in the
central time zone, anyway???)...
-=db=-

I would like to hear some stories about how you all pay for school...

--
spam@wuntvor.pillar.com (Dale Bryant)
The Eternal Apprentice BBS, Norman, OK -- +1 405 447 3772
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: hagbard@gagme.chi.il.us (Brian W. Dunn)
Subject: Re: Help needed with prank.
Originator: hagbard@gagme
Organization: Gagme Public Access UNIX, Chicago, Illinois.
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 22:10:19 GMT

In article <C15qBM.IGC@acsu.buffalo.edu> v201lrxa@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (L'Angelo Misterioso) writes:
>
>	A prank that worked on my roommate a year and a half ago was when
>he recieved a letter from a local grocery store chain saying his name had
>been picked from a pool of UB students to win a $50 shopping spree. Turns
>out it was nothing more than a friend with a scanner and laser printer :)
>In your case you could change it to some fancy clothes store or something.
>
>mike

Another idea:
1)Get into their bathroom
2)Lift lid of toilet
3)Cover hole with siran wrap (very tite so no wrinkles appear)
4)Close lid of toilet

Guaranteed to make a mess.

-- 
If you did it and lived, then you probably did it right.
-hagbard@gagme.chi.il.us-
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3447 soc.college:6014 misc.education:6073
From: clin@eng.umd.edu (Charles Lin)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,soc.college,misc.education
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Date: 21 Jan 1993 08:59:59 GMT
Organization: College of Engineering, Maryversity von Uniland, College Park
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: ampere.src.umd.edu
Originator: clin@ampere.src.umd.edu


In article <1993Jan21.040711.3088@midway.uchicago.edu>, wag5@quads.uchicago.edu (john peter wagner) writes:
 >In article <16B5CC88C.97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu> 97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu writes:
 >>In article <1993Jan20.044229.29555@rigel.econ.uga.edu>
 >>scottm@helena.stat.uga.edu (scott mclure) writes:
 >> 
 >>>At one point, I know it was the stated policy of UGA to automatically
 >>>give a student a 4.0 for a quarter if his/her roommate died during that
 >>>quarter.  I do not personally know anyone who this might have happened
 >>>to, but I think it is still school policy.
 >> 
 >>Here at WSU we often joke about that policy with rommates in the residence
 >>halls. The policy actually is (I believe) That if your rommie dies your
 >>classes are frozen. This is true of any family death You simply tell Student
 >>Affairs and they contact all of your profs, etc.
 >>Patrick David Walters                     President WSU Cycling Club
 >
 >	Well, that's all fine and good, but if YOU commit suicide,
 >do You get all A's? I imagine that would be much easier to do
 >than, say, persuading someone to do it, and it would so much worse
 >than merely having a roommate do it, I imagine the school
 >must at least consider it.
 >
 >				John
 >				Desperately seeking that 4.0

   Hmm, all the pressure they say about U. of Chicago must be true.

--
Charles Lin
clin@eng.umd.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,soc.college,misc.education
From: 97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Organization: SYSTEMS & COMPUTING
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 93 13:02:57 PST

In article <1jmofeINNma0@shelley.u.washington.edu>
thom@cac.washington.edu (Thom Roholt) writes:
 
>In article <16B5CC88C.97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu> 97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu writes:
>
>>Here at WSU we often joke about that policy with rommates in the residence
>                                                  ^^^
>>halls. The policy actually is (I believe) That if your rommie dies your
>                                                        ^^^
>>classes are frozen. This is true of any family death You simply tell Student
>>Affairs and they contact all of your profs, etc.
>
>I guess this is good if your computer crashes.  Does your family
>know--wait, does your roomate know how close your relationship is with
>your computer.   Come on is it really that close that you would need a
>quarter/semester off if it crashed/died? :)
>
>Thom Roholt
 
Oh You SLAY ME you WITTY guy you!!!
 
--
Patrick David Walters                     President WSU Cycling Club
97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu                Race Dircetor WSU Stage Race
Undergrad Soc Minor in Fren and Bus         Send Mail for more info on
Washington State University   Pullman, WA   either !
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: zmyd02@hou.amoco.com (Denton Meredith)
Subject: Re: Help needed with prank.
Reply-To: zmyd02@hou.amoco.com
Organization: Amoco
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 17:30:07 GMT

>In article <1993Jan19.111137.1@exodus.valpo.edu> res_ewv@exodus.valpo.edu writes:
>>Ok,
>>
>>Here's the deal.  I need get back at a couple of girls for a prank they
>>pulled on me last semester.  These are my requirements:
>>
>>1.  Something fairly impressive.
>>2.  Takes some planning.
>>3.  Fairly original
>>4.  Minimal physical damage
>>5.  Little or no effect on roommates.  (they live separately)
>>
>>I am at a loss, so I am open too all suggestions.  Thanks.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Eric Vaandering        Valparaiso University        Valparaiso IN, 46383
>> E-Mail:                RES_EWV@exodus.valpo.edu     RES_EWV@VALPO.BITNET
>> ____________________________________________________________________________
>> If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
>

When I was a freshman or sophomore, I was enlisted to assist in a terrific
prank two fraternity brothers played on two other brothers:  the prank-ees
had a nice two-bedroom apartment on the second floor overlooking the pool.
We removed all furniture from their apartment and rearranged it in an attractive
manner about the pool area.  Long extension cords were brought in and used to
plug in the TV and VCR so that we the pranksters could have entertainment whilst
awaiting the arrival of the prank-ees;  that way we could guard their stuff AND
have the pleasure of seeing their faces when they realized what had happened.
Then we ran like h*ll.

The guys retaliated against those of us involved;  they retaliated against me
by going to the local fish market and buying the biggest (whole) fish they could
find then sneaking out to my car in the dorm lot, placing said fish on the TOPSIDE
of my muffler, then securing it into place with thin wires.  It took a good two or
three weeks for me to figure out where that horrible stench was coming from (remember,
you couldn't see the fish by looking under the car) and everyday I'd go out to my
car and there'd be all these feral cats under it!!  My serviceman even refused to
look under there!  Finally, I hit a bump while backing out of a driveway (of one of
the guys who did this to me) and the d*mn fish fell off...I thought the guy was going
to wet his pants...they'd been waiting for WEEKS for me to figure it out.  A good prank.

These are both 100% true stories.

Meredith Denton
Amoco Production Company
Houston, Texas



Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: pjmorse@unix.amherst.edu (Polar Bear)
Subject: Re: Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor
Organization: Amherst College
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 19:27:34 GMT

How about the programmer who writes all the short answer questions... Mr. YorN?

--
Polar Bear                          i won't be a monkey in anyone's zoo
pjmorse@amherst.edu                 and i won't get fazed, whatever you do
pjmorse@unix.amherst.edu            "hit him again, he's crazy"
                                                   -ride
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3443 soc.college:6008 misc.education:6059
From: wag5@quads.uchicago.edu (john peter wagner)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,soc.college,misc.education
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Date: 21 Jan 93 04:07:11 GMT
Reply-To: wag5@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago

In article <16B5CC88C.97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu> 97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu writes:
>In article <1993Jan20.044229.29555@rigel.econ.uga.edu>
>scottm@helena.stat.uga.edu (scott mclure) writes:
> 
>>At one point, I know it was the stated policy of UGA to automatically
>>give a student a 4.0 for a quarter if his/her roommate died during that
>>quarter.  I do not personally know anyone who this might have happened
>>to, but I think it is still school policy.
> 
>Here at WSU we often joke about that policy with rommates in the residence
>halls. The policy actually is (I believe) That if your rommie dies your
>classes are frozen. This is true of any family death You simply tell Student
>Affairs and they contact all of your profs, etc.
>Patrick David Walters                     President WSU Cycling Club

	Well, that's all fine and good, but if YOU commit suicide,
do You get all A's? I imagine that would be much easier to do
than, say, persuading someone to do it, and it would so much worse
than merely having a roommate do it, I imagine the school
must at least consider it.

				John
				Desperately seeking that 4.0
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,alt.tasteless
From: bickham@lynx.msc.cornell.edu.UUCP (Scott Bickham,C17 Clark Hall,56079,2737038)
Subject: Re: Wierd Death
Originator: bickham@msc2.msc.cornell.edu
Organization: Cornell-Materials-Science-Center
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 14:27:01 GMT

From article <C18Fy3.I4r@rice.edu>, by garrett@math.rice.edu (David Garrett):
> In article <1993Jan21.190151.16950@vax5.cit.cornell.edu> kwix@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
>>
>>Greetings,
>>
>>Well I'm back at cornell, and we have had one of those incidents that
>>will probabally become a legend at some point.  Seems a member of
>>a fraternity got a little drunk and disappeared.  Two days later, 
>>he was found, dead, stuck in a chiminey at another frat.  Seems he was
>>trying to climb down and asphyxiated himself.  at one point, a janitor
>>heard some moans, and couldn't track the source of the noise.
>>
>>The real question is what was he trying to do, and how did a drunk guy
>>get up on a steep roof.  enquiring and sick minds want to know.
>>

The most tasteless thing about it was the picture in the Cornell campus
paper yesterday - the guys taking the corpse out in a body bag were
all grinning.  Must be a fun job.

Scott
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: wag5@quads.uchicago.edu (john peter wagner)
Subject: Re: Wierd Death
Reply-To: wag5@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 04:37:48 GMT

In article <1993Jan21.190151.16950@vax5.cit.cornell.edu> kwix@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
>Greetings,
>Well I'm back at cornell, and we have had one of those incidents that
>will probabally become a legend at some point.  Seems a member of
>a fraternity got a little drunk and disappeared.  Two days later, 
>he was found, dead, stuck in a chiminey at another frat.  Seems he was
>trying to climb down and asphyxiated himself.  at one point, a janitor
>heard some moans, and couldn't track the source of the noise.
>The real question is what was he trying to do, and how did a drunk guy
>get up on a steep roof.  enquiring and sick minds want to know.
>eric  
>kwix@vax5.cit.cornell.edu

	Was it around Christmas by any chance? Maybe he thought
he was Santa Claus. Happens to me every once in a while too.
Poor guy shoulda' used Crisco. Works every time.

			John
From: dave@cs.arizona.edu (Dave Schaumann)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Dead Professors and Tuition Refunds
Keywords: Profs, dead, $$$
Date: 25 Jan 93 03:45:28 GMT
Reply-To: dave@cs.arizona.edu (Dave Schaumann)
Organization: University of Arizona

In article <C1ABJI.1L5@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, durrant@mentor (unknown) writes:
>A friend of mine was taking at philosophy class at Purdue--something about
>the philosophy of religion and how it related to successful living--only to
>open the newspaper one morning and find the professor had thrown himself
>under a semi on I-65.  Guess his living wasn't too successful.
>
>The class was taught by TA's for the rest of the semester (this was about two
>weeks in) and she didn't get a refund or anything like that.

When I took an advanced calculus course, a few weeks into the semester,
the Prof busted up his ankle quite severely roller skating(!)

Anyway, for quite a few weeks, while he was recuperating enough so
that he could get around, we had some substitute guy.  I don't know
if he was a ta or what, but pretty much he rambled on for the whole
time on (to us, anyway) obscure and not terribly interesting properties
of the exponent function.  I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that was
his area of research...

Much to everyone's relief, when the regular Prof returned, he told
us we didn't need to know anything about that stuff.

-- 
Dave Schaumann			dave@cs.arizona.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: dlphknob@cs1.bradley.edu (Jemaleddin Cole)
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Organization: Panty of the Month Club
Date: 23 Jan 93 16:33:20 GMT

In <1993Jan22.054740.18219@sol.ctr.columbia.edu> zarthac@bradley.edu (Matthew Simmons) writes:


>I died after 1st quarter, but I didn't get a 4.0... What up?

Matt, you aren't dead.  People on USEnet only said they 'wished' you were.

--
       "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies,
and statistics."
		--Mark Twain
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
         dlphknob@camelot.bradley.edu - dlphknob@bucs1.bradley.edu
                 Jemaleddin Cole - Dolphin Knob - x1731
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,alt.folklore.urban
From: pratta@rpi.edu (Anthony Edward Prattico)
Subject: Re: PA system mishaps
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 16:16:52 GMT

In article <+cr30ak@rpi.edu> danaf@bray1b.its.rpi.edu (Frank R. Dana Jr.) writes:

>Can't say this has ever happened here, to my knowledge, but a friend of mine
>did make an interesting discovery...
>
>In the campus radio station, there's a whole WALL of patchbays that lets you
>mix different signals within the radio station - including some (in and out)
>marked DCC 308, DCC 318, DCC 324...
>
>The DCC just happens to house the main campus lecture halls, all the ones that
>are wired for sound...
>
>8)
>
>He has yet to make good use of this information...
>

The Commons dining hall also has (or used to have) lines for sound to WRPI as
well. However, I imagine that the ones in the DCC are connected to the original
sound system through the control room, which I believe is only used when UPAC
plays music before movies. I believe the wireless system is completely indepen-
dent, and plays through the two speakers mounted on the sides of the lecture 
hall at the ends of the "balconies". The original system speakers are on the
wall behind the stage area, on either side of the projection tv screen. Now 
getting control of the TVs in the DCC would be infinitely more amusing that 
just the sound system.

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: st902415@pip.cc.brandeis.edu (Adam Levin)
Subject: Re: Dead Professors and Tuition Refunds
Reply-To: st902415@pip.cc.brandeis.edu
Organization: Brandeis University
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 18:39:48 GMT

In a similar vein, recently a guy at Simon's Rock of Bard College went
on a shooting spree the week before final, killing two. They sent the 
entire school home the next day! I wish I knew what happened there,
because if it was good, I can think of a few people here who can surely
be sacrificed for the greater good (insert smiley here for the humor 
impaired.) 

Adam "Hey, I know the president of Brandeis' Riflery Club!" Levin
Organization: Hidden - I don't speak for them...
X-Stuff:      <This should be witty, but I'm too tired right now.>
Reply-To:     dhorvath@mail.sas.upenn.edu
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 08:58:04 EST
From: David B. Horvath, CDP <MBADBH@rohvm1.rohmhaas.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject:    Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor

I'm seeking the true identity of Professor Staff - he (or she) is the one
that gets to teach all of the classes that the other professors teach.

Look at a class catalog - most of the schools that I've attended have had
this person on their staff and they teach most of the classes.  How does
this person do it?  Time/Warp fields?

   - David
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3445 soc.college:6011 misc.education:6066
From: thom@cac.washington.edu (Thom Roholt)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,soc.college,misc.education
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Date: 21 Jan 1993 18:02:22 GMT
Organization: UW Networks and Distributed Computing
NNTP-Posting-Host: norman.nwnet.net

In article <16B5CC88C.97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu> 97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu writes:

>Here at WSU we often joke about that policy with rommates in the residence
                                                  ^^^
>halls. The policy actually is (I believe) That if your rommie dies your
                                                        ^^^
>classes are frozen. This is true of any family death You simply tell Student
>Affairs and they contact all of your profs, etc.

I guess this is good if your computer crashes.  Does your family
know--wait, does your roomate know how close your relationship is with
your computer.   Come on is it really that close that you would need a
quarter/semester off if it crashed/died? :)

Thom Roholt
From: osterber@husc8.harvard.edu (Richard Osterberg)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Help needed with prank.
Date: 21 Jan 93 14:45:45 GMT

>been fed.  It is asleep.  Do not waken it."  It looked like a _real_
>snake box to anyone who did not know much about animal supply houses.
>(I don't know if they really deliver snakes like that.  It just looked
>plausible.)  He then snuck his fake snake box into the mail room of

Actually, real snakes would be packaged in something like a pillowcase,
then twisted around, and tied in several knots. Then, that would probably
be put into a ventilated box.
-Rick
From: v115maec@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (MIKEY)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Building ARR
Date: 26 Jan 93 20:04:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


Easy... Dr. Staff teaches in the mysterious ARR building. This building is
on every campus but disappears after the first day of every semester. It is
similar to Dr. Who's TARDIS in that it can accommodate 400 seat lectures or
12 seat seminars. 

-Mikey
(BuffaloChip)
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3451 soc.college:6019 misc.education:6083
From: dave@cs.arizona.edu (Dave Schaumann)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,soc.college,misc.education
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Date: 22 Jan 93 02:39:41 GMT
Reply-To: dave@cs.arizona.edu (Dave Schaumann)
Followup-To: alt.folklore.college
Organization: University of Arizona

In article <16B5DB781.97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu>, 97994779@wsuvm1 writes:
>Oh You SLAY ME you WITTY guy you!!!

Yeah, but does that mean your roommate gets a 4.0 this semester?

-- 
Dave Schaumann			dave@cs.arizona.edu
From: kwix@vax5.cit.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Wierd Death
Date: 21 Jan 93 19:01:50 EST
Distribution: world
Organization: Cornell University


Greetings,

Well I'm back at cornell, and we have had one of those incidents that
will probabally become a legend at some point.  Seems a member of
a fraternity got a little drunk and disappeared.  Two days later, 
he was found, dead, stuck in a chiminey at another frat.  Seems he was
trying to climb down and asphyxiated himself.  at one point, a janitor
heard some moans, and couldn't track the source of the noise.

The real question is what was he trying to do, and how did a drunk guy
get up on a steep roof.  enquiring and sick minds want to know.

eric  
-- 
kwix@vax5.cit.cornell.edu
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3490 alt.folklore.urban:35018