From: aldavi01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu (Arlie Davis)
Subject: Usenet Oracularities #499-01
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 22:46:11 GMT
Reply-To: Arlie Davis <aldavi01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu>
Organization: University of Louisville

Emergency!  Emergency!!  Quality control alert!!

First, we have an excellent question:

// >    Oh mighty and tempestuous Oracle, who sees all, knows all, hears
// >    all, whose workstation makes a Cray look like an Timex Sinclair,
// >    whose secondary storage takes up a whole other planet, who knows
// >    *both* Cadbury secrets, who has determined who the 6th replicant
// >    is, who knows how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, and
// >    exactly (to the nearest boardfoot) just how much w*** a w***c****
// >    could c**** if a w***c**** could c**** w***, but for the good of
// >    all mankind, wants that kept a secret, who knows that the right
// >    answer *isn't* 42, whose can move mountains (and Mohammed), whose
// >    InterNet address is 1.1.1.1 (or was that 255.255.255.255?), who
// >    has never had a cavity, or pimple, or dandruff, or the hiccups,
// >    or even a hangnail, who knows Ross Perot's ultimate plan, every
// >    blond and lighbulb joke, who knows why I got only an A- on the
// >    systems part of the course, why stars go nova, and the meaning of
// >    "It's all in the wrist!", and who never has to go out to buy a
// >    newspaper, who has two copies of Superman #1, pictures of the
// >    Grassy Knoll, and Madonna's home phone number, who could leap
// >    over speeding trains at a single bound, who has the results of
// >    the human genome project, who uses cold fusion to prepare those
// >    wonderful meals for Lisa, who has friends amoung all the deities,
// >    who engineered the sun-moon-apparent-size equality which gives us
// >    those astonishing solar eclipses, please answer me this:
// >
// >                    Was that grovel good enough??
// 
// And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

And this inferior, completely irrelevant answer:

// } Dear Supplicant,
// }    In the name of truth and fairness, *I'm* answering this one.  Now,
// } I know Orrie likes to hear humans squirm and squiggle "'neath his
// } mighty toes" or whatever, but I just wanted to fill you in on some of
// } the _less_ praiseworthy aspects of your pal and mine, the Oracle:
// }
// } - he's atrocious with leaving his underwear everywhere.  What a slob.
// } - he farts in bed.  Without warning.  Nasty ones, too.
// } - he really doesn't remember creating the platypus or Stockdale: *he*
// }   swears that they were intentional, but *I* know they were the result
// }   of some "business meeting" he went off to a few eons back.  Orrie
// }   can't hold his liquor, and I just *know* that one of those other
// }   dieties took advantage of him while he was under the table --
// }   probably dared the lug to do it.  Men.
// } - he never sends flowers.
// } - he's a hazard in the kitchen.  I won't even let him near the ice
// }   maker 'cause he sets off the smoke alarms every time he makes a
// }   drink. (I don't know how, but trust me, he just *does*.)
// } - he's got all the fashion sense of a cucumber salad.  I've got scads
// }   of Christmas scarves from him hidden away (still in the boxes.)
// }   UG-LY.  I'm still trying to figure out what to do with them all.
// }   Maybe sew them together in a balloon and fly to Kansas.
// } ...
// }
// } Oh, supplicant, the list goes on.  (He's also real anal-retentive and
// } won't let me touch his computer.  Go figure.  It's like I'm three
// } years old or something.)  Remember, next time you want info., go ahead
// } and ask Orrie, but next time you want the *facts*, you just write to
// } me.
// }                                                - Lisa
 
My complaint is this: The Oracle (hint, hint) did NOTHING to answer the
question.  TUO is getting as bad as politicians about *never* answering what
they are asked!

The question: "... Is this grovel good enough?" deserved a much better answer
than "Lisa's" whining about "Orrie", which I'm really rather sick of.

				*	*	*

So, how to rate such a question and answer?  I'd give the question a 4,
because it was a jolly good grovel, and the answer a 1, for complete
nontopicality, and for using the oh-so-trite Lisa/Orrie thing.

Ahhrrggg!!

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lrwx------   1 aldavi01 emacsstu       9 Jun  6 12:43 .signature -> /dev/null