From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Obsessive Behavior - detecting, reacting, showing (long)
Date: 20 Nov 1992 13:26:15 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.41
Keywords: OBSESSION

In article <7656@tekig7.PEN.TEK.COM> doughe@tekig6.PEN.TEK.COM (Douglas E Helbling) writes:
>
> [About one of my favourite topics: Obsession]
>

Yay! I'm an *expert* at obsession! I have many female victims of my
obsessions to call upon as past experiences. Also I had someone (*one*
pah!) obsessed with me, too. Yay! Here we go... :-)

>    Signs of Obsession: (Is s/he or isn't s/he?)
>
>	Is someone obsessive if they:
>
>	* Say hello regularly (in the halls at school/work, in
>	  the cafeteria, on the sidewalk in the neighborhood)

Nope. Just nice. :-)
>
>	* Send you poems in the mail

Possibly. Probably just soppy & lonely.
>
>	* Call you late in the night

Almost certainly (obviously depends on *why*!).
>
>	* Call and hang up, or call and don't say anything

Definitely. Postively mental over you.
>
>	* Call you days and weeks after you've last talked, in which
>	  conversation you made it clear your relationship was over,
>	  or, perhaps, that you never thought you had a relationship

Psychotic. Also a bit thick.
>
>	* Shows up at your house unannounced, demanding some minor
>	  and insignificant personal item back they last remembered
>	  leaving at your house.

That's me! ;-) ;-) ;-) Yup, I have done this. I *was* rather fond of the girl
once, though. :-) Do I regret it? Nope. I was obsessed. Us obsessives
need help & sympathy, not cursing.

>
>    Reactions to Obsession: (Oh, gawd, they found out my new number!!)
>
>	Given that you have determined someone you know (or perhaps worse, 
>	someone you don't know) is obsessed with you, do you:
>
>	* Tell them, for a 2nd or third time, if necessary, that you
>	  do not appreciate the attention and ask them to stop?

This would work if someone used it against me, but didn't work when I used it 
myself.
>
>	* Ignore them, hoping they'll just go away after they get tired
>	  of your lack of response?

Wouldn't work against a True Obsessive.
>
>	* Tell them off?

Might encourage some True Obsessives, especially if they have a masochistic 
streak.
>
>	* Get a restraining order?

Don't know what this means WRT UK law, but sounds like it would be
effective -- until they were released...
>
>	* Have a mutual friend or someone you or they know go and talk
>	  to them for you?

Pathetic.
>
>	* Find someone else for them to be obsessed with? 

Constructive, but almost bound to fail.
>
>	* Tell them you are: 
>	  - HIV+
>	  - not interested in persons of their gender
Both great ideas, IMHO. Former might not work in UK so well as US. Would
work if I was the obsessed, but not sure about other people. There are
dangers in these two, of course...

>	  - moving to another country

I would stick around until my victim borded the plane.
>	  - on a weekend outing from the sanitarium

I would just smile at the obvious joke. :-)
>
>	* Shoot them?   

:-)

>
>
>    Avoiding Obsessive Appearance: ( I'm "In Love", not dangerous! )
>
>    Reacting to Obsessive Assessment: (s/he thinks I'm nuts! Guess I'll
>        have to stop circling her/his block at night.)
>
>	Okay, so your recent or long running "friend" has gotten the idea 
>	that you are obsessive.  They might even be "scared" of what you'll 
>	do next.  You, of course, know you are not, but you do have real 
>	feelings for this person.  Do you:
>
>	* Say "to hell with it!"?  After all, if s/he thinks you are
>	  capable of <insert despicable behavior here>, then s/he really 
>	  doesn't have a clue as to who you are about anyway.

Pah, my obsession would be stronger than that!

>
>	* Give them time to relax, assume they've just seen Oprah/Sally/Phil
>	  too many times this month, and call them up a few weeks later?

Pah, my obsession would get me to call the next day!

>
>	* Assume they've already had dealings with near-to-crazy SO's
>	  in their past, and so they're not capable of distinguishing
>	  honest, well-intended affection for obsessive behavior?

Pah, my obsession would make me try even harder to show them I was genuine.

>

Well, I enjoyed writing that. Wonder if catharsis still works... :-)

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Newsgroups: alt.romance