Newsgroups: rec.music.misc
Subject: Oh no! Another list!
From: wakelins@fri.cri.nz
Date: 24 Nov 92 11:42:39 +1300
Organization: New Zealand Forest Research Institute

Imagine a list of the top ten cars of the 20th Century.

Which would be more interesting - a list composed entirely of cars built in
the last year, on the grounds that they out-perform all earlier cars as well
as being safer, have better stereos and all-electric gizmos and fully
adjustable ergonomically-designed seats blah blah blah?

Or a list that recognised classics and breakthroughs and cars that defined a 
generation?  Would your list include a Model T Ford or a VW Beetle?

Most of the top ten band lists have been the equivalent of a list of the last
ten GM models.  Yawn.  How about:


Robert Johnson - forget the music for a moment.  What you have is sex, drugs
                 and satanism.  Now add the music, and you have it all in a 
                 nut shell.  Rock'n'Roll. (Of course, *I* prefer Charlie Patton
                 but he didn't get a mega-selling box re-issue :-)

Elvis Presley  - The simplistic equation is Rock = Blues + Country.  Elvis must
                 come in there somewhere - popularising what was essentially
                 black music, and pissing off the grown-ups too. Sex and drugs
                 as well.  Very Rock'n'Roll, Elvis.

Chuck Berry    - Rock music is music for teenagers.  Teenagers were invented in
                 the 50s.  Chuck seems to be as important as anyone else in
                 this era.  Who you gonna substitute - Bill Haley?

The Beatles    - Without these guys someone would have had to invent them.  And
                 probably called them New Kids on the Block or something...
                 Including the Beatles means I can leave out Little Richard,
                 anything with guitars and harmonies, anything that induced
                 hysteria in teenage girls, anything druggy with sitars etc etc.
                 Great songs too.  Yeah yeah yeah.

Bob Dylan - in which Mr. Zimmerman, a middle-class Jewish boy, transforms
            himself into some kind of hobo.  Credibility has always been a key
            word in rock.  It worked for Bob, and it's worked for thousands
            more down the line.  Change your name and be a star.  And Bob is
            funnier than the Ramones too.  Less talented, maybe, but funnier.
   
The Rolling Stones - or maybe *The* Rolling Stone, Muddy Waters instead.  I've
                     already got Chuck Berry, and I've covered middle-class-kid
                     -acts-streetwise with Bob Dylan.  I've got enough bands
                     to symbolise rebellion.  So why do I need the Stones?
                     Maybe the fact that I automatically put them in says more
                     in their defence than I can say *against* their inclusion.

Jimi Hendrix - there must be at least *one* OD'ed guitar hero in the list. Jimi
               is my man.  

Led Zeppelin -  They were so hugely successful in the 1970's that they *must*
                have influenced lots of people.  I've put them in for all those
                other heavy bands who do drippy ballads as well (and have those
                cliched contrasting light/dark names to emphasise this - which
                Led Zep got off Iron Butterfly in the first place...and then
                they begat Guns'n'Roses...etc etc)  Also for lurid rock'n'roll
                excesses, and giving punk something to flick snot at.

Velvet Underground - you're right Nathan, they didn't sell out football
                     stadiums, their albums sold less than Thriller on a
                     slow day and the average Bradley rock fan doesn't know
                     shit about them.  That is *exactly* the point.  

OK, how are we going.  Nine bands.  Three black persons, and four directly 
influenced by black persons.  Plus the Velvets, with an indirect influence
(see Waiting For My Man).  This is good.  Ray *will* be pleased.  Only one
woman though.  And nothing post Zeppelin!  I'm assuming that jazz and soul can
have their own lists, but JB could still merit inclusion in here.  I don't
know how to deal with rap - my collection consists of Gil Scott-Heron,
Grandmaster Flash, Public Enemy and NWA.  I'm vaguely aware of Sly Stone and
Parliament.  But is it *music*? :-)  What about Pink Floyd, Rush, Yes?  I
think Rush are total shit, yet I've never even heard them!  I just extrapolated 
from the vast database of Bradley-rock top ten lists I now have - guilt by
association.  Journey, Aerosmith, Boston, Rush, Yes...crap. crap. crap.

Thank you for reading this far - the tenth best band is the 3Ds.

Cheers, Steve.
Newsgroups: rec.music.misc