From: anon-1241@twwells.com (Goldberry)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Goldberry is back + ***** SPOILERS *****
Date: 4 Oct 92 21:52:30 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: no


Hello everyone,

It's nice to be back.  I'm returning from my personal (rather
prolonged) trip to Emergency Stage Land, and it seems I'm
emerging a LOT stronger than I went in in late January.


The personally nicest and most conforting thing about being back
to asar is seeing so many old "faces" among the new ones.  When I
re-started my reading a couple of weeks ago, after an approx. six
months break, I at first felt somewhat out of place - like "Who
are all these people" -- "Will anyone remeber me anymore?" --
"Will I be accepted in this "new" crowd?".  Irrational fears,
yes, but knowing my background, also "natural".

So I have this gradually and steadily growing, very warm feeling
of a true homecoming as I have watched the comments turn up, from
Hineni, changeling, Prisoner, Laurie Mann and others.  I still
miss some "oldies" like Super Otter and Black Pearl, but I guess
if I took this long a break, then whoever is away might have
their own, very good reasons.  It has also been a delight and an
honor to learn to know the "newies", and as before, all of your
writings have touched me deeply.  I had almost forgotten the
feeling of having so *many* so committed people around!


It has filled me with a sense of saddness, wonder and respect,
that even if I was away only for half a year, someone of imminent
strength and courage has been here, touched the souls of others
and now, without ever knowing her (I think you called her Karla),
I'm faced with the message of her death.  My heart goes out to
her near ones, and I wish you strength and safe mourning, that
hopefully, in good time, will open you new doors in healing.  I
wish I had known her, but I'm also glad that someone did, even if
it couldn't be me.  I would encourage her boyfriend to write
about her and his feelings here, if you feel that is what you
need and want to do.  I have felt honored and moved by everything
you have written so far, and not the least intimidated or hurt.


To poohbear and others, who worry about where asar is headed: I
see a definite change compared to the end of 1991/early 1992, but
I would not say it is for the worse.  Very different, more
"USENET-like", less warm-and-fuzzy and most certainly not quite
as soft and safe, but:

For me it feels very positive and promising that people are
daring to express and to experiment with also negative feelings
in asar.  It certainly isn't very polished, graceful or well
phrased at all times, but _at_least_these_feelings_are_shown_ !
I always am glad when I see someone daring to get angry, as I
know from my own past how dreadfully difficult reaching that (or
any other!) feeling can be.  Feelings matter, ALL feelings, and
they are important.  I would not hasten to condemn any of them,
but rather try to work on the expression, together.

Knowing the history of asar (and I started to read it on day one)
I have a very strong confidence in the groups ability to grow in
this dimension, too, developing towards honest communication
about negative as well as positive feelings.  We've been through
some MAJOR transitions before, so given some time (and some deep
thought and some frank discussion) I truly believe a working,
dynamic balance can be reached.  For all things considered, to me
asar still feels like one of the safest places I can find to get
connected with whatever it is that I need to work on.

So, I for one am not quitting.


So, where have I been then, for all this time?  It has been
pretty darn rough, so if you aren't in a safe situation, you
might want to press the "n" key now.

More power to you all and e-hugs for all who want them.


********************SPOILERS***AHEAD***********************



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