From: dcrosgr@uoft02.utoledo.edu
Newsgroups: talk.rape
Subject: Re: Sex fantasies--men, women, other.
Date: 30 Jul 92 14:46:59 EST
Organization: University of Toledo, Computer Services

In article <1992Jul30.142933.24960@usenet.ins.cwru.edu>, rpetsche@mrg.tmc.edu (Rolfe G. Petschek) writes:

> 
>>> I did not satisfy my former lover's fantasy to be fantasy-raped.  I am
>>> unaware if she ever succeeded in satisfy this fantasy.
>>
>>One woman, who did not get her fantasy fulfilled by you, is anecdotal. But,
>>I'll ask you this--Have you declined offers of sex more than you have been
>>turned down/rebuffed? Or, like most men, have you gone down in flames more
>>times than you have refused women's advances? Hmmmm?
> 
> Bearing in mind the fact that a woman's advances are commonly, given our
> society, more subtle than a man's I think that I am about even (but
> don't really know, of course).

Well, let's only factor in the knowns. Compare all of the owmen who expressed
an interest in you that you knew of and compare it against all of the women who
you were interested in who you let know of it.  

				I'm afraid that generally I was not asked
> (and did not ask) my potential partners "wanna fuck?" so counting is
> hard as it is never immediate if advances to first sexual intercourse
> were discouraged by one partner if the other partner actually would have 
> consented to such intercourse in the possible future.

Well, let's stick to the basics. You expression of sexual/romantic interests in
them which was rubuked against their sexual/romantic interests in you which you
rebuked.

Further, you take an average woman, put her in a a bar, where the only pick-up
line she can use is "Wanna fuck?", and do you honestly believe she is going to
be rejected as often as a man who is restricted to that line?

> 
> On the more particular question of is it easier for a woman to satisfy 
> her fantasies than a man again I simply do not know if I have more 
> commonly satisfied fantasies or had them satisfied.  Generally speaking 
> I have satisfactory sex with my partner(s) but they are not explicit as 
> to whether I have satisfied fantasies (or indeed what these fantasies are).  
> Actually it would seem to me easier for a man to satisfy his fantasies in 
> our society during one-on-one heterosexual sex for the simple reason that 
> this inevitably involves one man and one woman and the man, generally, is 
> more controling of the nature of the actual act than the woman.

First off, are yousaying that it is easier for a man to satisfy his fantasies
because they are heterosexual in nature??? That means female fantasies are not.

Second of all, when you say the men are generally more controlling of the act
than women are, what are you referring to? Maybe popular culture is 180 degress
from reality, but I doubt it. It is usually the man who is trying to convince
the woman to try something new ("it'll taste fine", "I've done this before, it 
won't hurt", "Please?"). Somewhere between 30% and 40% of all american women have
experienced anal intercourse. Do you really believe that is because only 30% to
40% of the american men would like to try that act on a woman? 

No. It is because the man tries to convince her to try, and when SHE decides it
is time, he gets to. (Barring rape, of course.) 

Which do you honestly thinks happens more--a man refusing to tie up a woman and
then have sex with her, or a woman saying "No way you are tying ME up!"???

Both genders might fantasize about it the same amount, but the women decide
where and when.

DC



Newsgroups: talk.rape