From: buick@belay (Patrick D. Buick)
Subject: Call any time?
Summary: I was a callee.
Organization: Belay Enterprises Inc. Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 23:27:37 GMT

In article <009608DC.E445B7C0@BORN.PHYS.VIRGINIA.EDU> kara@BORN.phys.virginia.edu (Kara Jayne Keeter) writes:
>In article <9SEP199208173610@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov>, aatresa@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline) writes:
>
>>In article <Bu98G6.CDs@twwells.com>, anon-1201@twwells.com (Jasmyne) writes...
>
>>>Speaking of, a friend of mine told me he wants me to call him if i ever
>>>am real bad. i know people say this all the time. How often do they mean
>>>it? I never call, even though i've promised on occasion.....i never want
>>>to bother them (common theme?).

Yes.. common theme... unfortunately.

>>I think it's a common theme.  Certainly it is for me.  I also don't want to 
>>be a "bother".  I will "suck it up" and usually *not* call until I have no 
>>choice.  Really I guess that's the worst thing I can do to myself and them, 
>>since by that point I *need* someone to listen, and if they can't we're 
>>both in a pickle.

Indeed, even if they *can* listen, it makes it that much more difficult
to deal with... I'd rather my friend (see below) call me earlier on in
the blues... it's so much easier to help them out....

>
>Hmm... I have had people assure me that I should call if I need to...
>One of my "best friends" had told me to call if I needed to, and he
>knew that I would only call if I absolutely had to.  But several months
>ago it became "inconvenient" for me to call, it would be "better if I
>didn't call" and so of course I can't.  I've pretty much written that person
>off as a fair-weather friend.  (Note:  I don't think I ever abused his offer
>to call.  I think I also tried to not call until I had no choice.)

Problem.... should I say Bummer :-) [Not to sleight the problem]
It's hard to find good friends nowadays... I'm glad I don't need to
depend on any right now..

>I've also recently experienced a couple of people indicate that they don't
>want to talk to me when I'm feeling bad.  This has made me even more 
>reluctant to turn to anyone or let anyone know when I'm feeling bad.
>
>-kk

Ok, Ok, Ok... I just *have* to say something at this point.  I was one of
the "callees".  I had a friend who was Co-Dependant (their "diagnosis") and
wasn't doing too well at school... things just weren't going their way.. a
jerk for an ex (they were engaged in the past) etc...

I told him/her to call me when they needed support... and he/she did wait until
he/she was... well... quite well along the depression rollercoaster before
he/she called.  This usually happened at 0300h or so... [Ring... Ring.. who
could be... oh, I know..!] :-)  It was, well.. inconvenient sometimes
when I had to get up at 0500h, but *I DIDN'T MIND* and sure didn't let
him/her know it was inconvenient.  It wasn't a problem, *really*.

Don't feel that it is an imposition.  We offered... I wouldn't say it if
I didn't mean it.. the offer still stands.  If they didn't mean it, it is
better to find out now, rather than later, when perhaps you need them even
more!

Good luck... and lots of e-hugs to y'all.

Patrick
(PS: I'm probably gonna regret my number being in my .sig eh? :-)
I *KNEW* I was in the wrong field when I got into computers...
shoulda been a nurse.
-- 
===========================| Land Line +1 403 286 9188
Patrick D. Buick EMT, EET  | Internet: buick%belay@uunet.uu.net
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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery