From: kuzel@plains.NoDak.edu (Tony Kuzel)
Subject: Locker wars
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 11:28:24 GMT
Organization: North Dakota Higher Education Computing Network

This all happened way back when I was in high school and it involves me
and two other friends.  This is how it all started.
One day I was (innocently and un-knowingly) walking back to my locker ( we
were skipping class as usual and I needed my jacket)  Chad and Chris both
suddenly remember something that they'd forgot to get out of theirs lockers
and took off in a rush.  'No big deal' thought I and we agreed to me at the
fast-food joint across the street in ten minutes.  So there I am, merrily
strolling through the empty halls of Central High School, thinking of
high-schooler things.  I got to my locker and proceeded to open the
combination lock(First of all I should mention that central has about 1000
students attending it so all lockers have a thingy on 'em that you can
attach your lock to.  The thingy is an approximately 3 inch wide by 5 inch
long 1 inch indentation so your lock doesn't stick out.  You'll need to
remeber this for later on in the story.)  Anyways, after messing up my
combination a few times, I finally got it to open.  I had my head turned
when I opened my locker so I didn't notice it's contents.  I reached inside
for where I'd hung my jacket and groped around not finding it.  Perturbed, I
turned my head to see what was the matter, and both chris and chad (who were
hiding around the corner) swear to this day that my jaw truly did hit the
floor.  There was NOTHING inside.  Not even a speck of dust.  Both chris and
chad figured that it was time to run for their lives and took off down the
hall WITHOUT telling me just where my stuff was.  Now, since central has
approx. 1000 lockers, let's just say that I was forced to skip most of the
remainder of the day just to look through all the friggen lockers to find my
stuff.
Part Two.. the retaliation and re-retaliations....!
Okay, I figured, if they can do it, so can I (he-he-he)
Before school the next day I stopped in at a hardware store and bought two
inch thick roll of masking tape. (grin).  Just before the lunch break I
(conveniently) had to go to the bathroom.  While running over to chris's
locker I pulled out the masking tape.  When I got there I opened his locker
(we were all best friends so we knew each other's combo's) and pulled out
his gym cloths (yea, those disgustingly sick blue gym cloths that were the
standard cloths we GOTTA wear for gym class).  I scrunged 'em up into the
smallest ball I could make and proceeded to use of it 'cept for a 7 inch
strip on 'em.  Then I took the last of the tape and hung the ball from the
top of his locker.  Then I used the other roll to tape his jacket to the
back of the locker.  You couldn't even see the jacket when I was done.  Poor
chris, spent quite a pulling tape off of his stuff.  (grin)
Anyways, by now the locker war was in full swing.  Several people would be
hanging around our lockers each day just to see what stunt we'd pulled on
each other.  Let's just say that for the next few weeks we had to all skip
classes to either a>Find where our stuff was, or B>remove tape from
everything we owned.
Part Three...  The final straw!
Well, about a month had gone by and I was getting sick of the old gags so I
decided it was time to come up with the best of 'em all.  I made a few
purchases the morning before school and when I got to school I didn't even
bother going to my class.  First on the hit list was chad's locker.  For his
I'd boughten two rolls of electricans tape.  Inside of each locker is the
mechanism that opens the locker.  I used one roll wrapping that sucker until
not even a virus could have gotten through.  Then I closed his locker and
made sure nothing short of a tank would be able to open it.  Then I used the
other roll to make one big huge ball around his lock!  Let's just say he was
really pissed and spent many a minute kicking the piss out of his locker in
a futile attempt to open it.
Next was chris's locker.  For this I proceeded to produce from my pocket the
biggest jar of vaseline that I've ever seen.  First I covered the entire
outside and inside of his locker with vaseline.  Then I completely filled in
the indentation with the shit.  We're talking all's you could see was
vaseline, you couldn't even see the hinges on the door (cackle)
It was just my luck that the principle happened to be walking by when chris
was verbally cursing me and my mother for giving birth to me so he knew who
did it and I had a week's worth of detention, but god did I laugh....
Anyways, just thought I share this one with ya'll

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Tony Kuzel                     | Horribly depressing thought-> Just what if|
kuzel@plains.nodak.edu         | I WEREN'T God!                            |
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