From: ins534z@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (Quetzal)
Subject: Genetic Considerations in _The_Little_Mermaid_
Organization: Monash University
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 08:32:56 GMT

"Genetic Considerations in _The_Little_Mermaid_" by: Tim Pickett (Quetzal)
                                                                    et al.
from _Journal_of_Applied_and_Theoretical_Inane_Ranting_, vol 1, no 5.

WARNING:
    This article must be read with the tongue firmly implanted in either
cheek.  It does not matter which cheek to use, but be sure to remove it
prior to any laughing or serious injury to speech organs may result. Teeth
can be sharp!
    Smileys, such as :), etc. have been surgically removed from the article
for conservation of bandwidth.
    I am no geneticist.  I do know that you can't have half a chromosome, but
flames are nonetheless highly welcome.

ABSTRACT:
    This article describes the genetic traits of the Royal family of Triton's
ocean kingdom and makes various proposals on the biological relationships
between family members.

ASSUMPTIONS:
    In this article it has been assumed that mer heredity is essentially
equivalent to human heredity.  (This is quite reasonable since the 11.5
chromosome pairs responsible for the waist up must be at the very least
highly similar.)  This would mean the same XY chromosome system for gender
(though it is possible that there is an entirely different system, since
seven daughters and no sons - a 1 in 128 chance - is unusual to say the least).
    Note that mer reproduction is an entire subject to itself and will not
be elaborated upon here.
    It has also been assumed that the laws of physics in Disney features is
identical to those elsewhere.  There are only a few examples which appear to
violate this assumption, such as the number of tines on dinglehoppers not
being constant (in extreme close-up they grow a fourth), and the colours in
rainbows being reversed; and though these experiments are easily reproducible
(a common method is the rewind control) they can almost certainly be dismissed
as poor experimental method and failure to take notes (rather like Cold Fusion,
really).

INTRODUCTION:
    The colours of human and mer features such as skin, hair and scales are
determined by the presence of various pigments, proteins and other polymers
(the word polymer is rarely used in Triton's kingdom as it can cause
confusion, to merpeople in particular).  The instructions for creating these
pigments are in the DNA inherited from both parents.  Traits such as facial
features are also found in genes.  This is called heredity, and as a science
it is a well-developed field of study.

DISCUSSION:
    Triton's immediate Royal family consists of Triton himself and his seven
daughters.  Each is listed here, with scale and hair colour, and colour
of seashells to aid in identification.  (Note that hair colour is somewhat of
a poor guide to heredity, since if mermaids change their hair as much as
human females are made out to, it could have been dyed, though, one assumes,
not with a water-based dye.)
        Name:       Hair Colour:    Scale Colour:    Seashell Colour:
        Triton      White           Turquoise        (see note 1)
        Aquata      Light Brown     Blue             Blue
        Andrina     Yellow          Purple           Purple
        Arista      Blonde          Red              Red
        Atina       Light Brown     Light Red        Red
        Adella      Black           Ochre            Green
        Allana      Dark Brown      Magenta          Purple
        Ariel       Russet          Green            Purple
(NB: It is unclear as to the identity of the two sisters Adella and Allana;
we have assigned names to these two based on unscientific methods [but
still highly appropriate - "Heads or Tails"].  If it is found that they
have been labelled incorrectly, transpose the names for the remainder of
this article.)
All seven sisters have blue-green eyes, but Triton's eyes are apparently albino
(there is no iris to speak of).  As albino eyes are presumably recessive
(Or possibly sex-linked; the difference is unimportant) against green or blue,
it is fairly reasonable to assume each sister has a blue-green-eyed mother, if
not the same mermaid then at lease some very closely-related ones from some
other branch of the royal family (a common practice among royals everywhere),
which may help to explain the diverse scale colours of the sisters.
Other features which all seven sisters share are a fairly similar eye shape
(with the possible exception of Atina who appears to have inherited her
father's eyes), the upturned nose (certainly unlike Triton's inexplicably
Roman nose) and a relatively small chin, though unless Triton learns how
to shave we will be unable to tell just whose side of the family this trait
comes from.  It is also quite obvious that all seven can sing; Triton's
definite lack of a singing voice (did *you* ever hear him singing?) can
only mean that this, and all the other things listed here, come from the
mother's side of the family.
    However, even a casual glance at the seven mermaids will show that while
the older six seem to share some features, Ariel is consistently the odd
mermaid out.  For instance, the older sisters have prominent cheekbones; Ariel
does not.  The older sisters have a sloping, almost Neanderthal forehead; Ariel
does not.  The older sisters seem to have the remotest inkling of colour
coordination between tail and seashells and hairpieces; Ariel does not.  It is
remarkable to note that all three of these traits are present in Triton (see
note 2).  It is our opinion that this is too much of a coincidence to be
ignored.

CONCLUSION:
    It can only be concluded, given the assumptions stated, that Triton is not
the father of Ariel, and that the older six mermaids are at most only Ariel's
half-sisters (see note 3).
    So who *is* Ariel's biological father?  This must wait for another article,
but rumours that it is Maurice the inventor (from comparisons with *his*
daughter) are unfounded.  (Our as yet unpublished article, "Immediate family
relationship between Ariel and Belle unlikely", explains why; contact us for
a preliminary copy.)

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:
    The authors would like to thank Tom Tanida, compiler of the rec.arts.disney
FAQ, for providing the correct spellings of the Royal family members.
    Quetzal would like to thank his mother for going overseas and leaving him
with her ATM card and PIN for three weeks.

NOTES:
    1. What seashells Triton wears in private is not of our concern.
    2. Although Triton does not wear seashells (see note 1), all of his
jewellery is gold.
    3. Six half-sisters are equivalent to three full sisters, except that they
are much harder to live with.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS:
    Tim Pickett (Quetzal) is a computer science honorary life undergraduate
at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia.  He spends his spare time trying
to watch _The_Little_Mermaid_ in record time (his record so far is thirty-five
minutes), and when not whinging about the unavailability of _Little_Mermaid_
soundtracks and the like, he is to be found in fifteenth-century Mexico, as
the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl, settling old scores with Huitzilopochtli and Tlaloc.
    et al. is perhaps the biggest authority on almost every subject you care to
name; she has worked with another well-known authority, Ibid., since the time
of the Roman Empire.