From: lis@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Elisabeth Riba)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Ig Nobel Prize Winners
Keywords: topical, chuckle
Date: 6 Nov 92 09:30:03 GMT

Thursday, October 1st, I attended the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony at MIT.
As a public service, I will now list this year's winners, last year's 
recipients and a brief history of the Ig Nobel Prizes as taken from the 
program.

Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded to individuals whose achievements cannot or should 
not be reproduced.  The Prizes are a legacy from the legendary Ignatius ("Ig") 
Nobel, the inventor of excelsior (packing material) and co-inventor of soda 
pop.  The first Ig Nobel Prizes were awarded by The Journal of Irreproducible 
Results in 1968; the winners' names have been misplaced.  The first public 
ceremony was held in 1991.


The 1992 Ig Nobel Prize Winners:
MEDICINE:  F. Kanda, E. Yagi, M. Fukuda, K. Nakajima, T. Ohta and O. Nakata of 
the Shisedo Research Center in Yokohama, for their pioneering research study 
"Elucidation of Chemical Compounds Responsible for Foot Malodour," especially 
for their conclusion that people who think they have foot odor do, and those 
who don't, don't.
ARCHAEOLOGY:   Eclaireurs de France, the Protestant youth group whose name 
means "those who show the way," fresh-scrubbed removers of graffiti, for 
erasing the ancient paintings from the walls of the Meyrieres Cave near the 
French village of Brunquiel.
ECONOMICS:  The Investors of Lloyds of London, heirs to 300 years of dull 
prudent management, for their bold attempts to insure disaster by refusing to 
pay for their company's losses.
BIOLOGY:  Dr. Cecil Jacobson, relentlessly generous sperm donor, and prolific 
patriarch of sperm banking, for devising a simple, single-handed method of 
quality control.  (Dr. Jacobson could not be present at the ceremony,
as he had a previous 15-20 year engagement.  Accepting on his behalf:
Bob Cecil Turner and Larry Cecil Wilson.) 
CHEMISTRY:  Ivette Bassa, constructor of colorful colloids, for her
role in the crowning achievement of twentieth century chemistry, the
synthesis of bright blue Jell-O.
PHYSICS:  David Chorley and Doug Bowen, lions of low-energy physics, for their 
circular contributions to field theory based on the geometrical destruction of 
English crops.  (Accepting on behalf of Mr. Chorley and Mr. Wilson:  Frank 
Laughton of the Shave N' Spell Crop Circle Corporation.)
PEACE:  Daryl Gates, former Police Chief of Los Angeles, for his uniquely 
compelling methods of bringing people together.  (Accepting on behalf of Mr. 
Gates:  Stang Goldberg of Crimson Tech Camera Store.)
NUTRITION:  The utilizers of Spam, courageous consumers of canned comestibles, 
for 54 years of undiscriminating digestion.  (Accepting on their behalf:  War 
hero and lifelong Spam eater Dr. Jack S. Meagher of Harvard University.)
LITERATURE:  Yuri Struchkov, unstoppable author from the Institute of 
Organoelemental Compounds in Moscow, for the 948 scientific papers he
published between the years 1981 and 1990, averaging more than one
every 3.9 days.  (Accepting for Professor Struchkov:  Yulia Govorushko.)
ART:  Presented jointly to Jim Knowlton, modern Renaissance man, for his 
classic anatomy poster "Penises of the Animal Kingdom," and to the National 
Endowment for the Arts for encouraging Mr. Knowlton to extend his work in the 
form of a pop-up book.

The 1991 Ig Nobel Laureates:
Chemistry:  Jacques Benveniste, prolific proselytizer and dedicated 
correspondent of Nature, for his persistent discovery that water, H2O, is an 
intelligent liquid, and for demonstrating to his satisfaction that water is 
able to remember events long after all trace of those events has vanished.
Physics:  Thomas Kyle, detector of atoms and original man of knowledge, 
for his discovery of the heaviest element in the universe, Administratium.  
Medicine:  Alan Kligerman, deviser of digestive deliverance, vanquisher of 
vapor, and inventor of Beano, for his pioneering work with anti-gas liquids 
that prevent bloat, gassiness, discomfort and embarrassment
Interdisciplinary Research:  Josiah Carberry of Brown University, bold
explorer and eclectic seeker of knowledge, for his pioneering work in
the field of Psychoceramics, the study of cracked pots. 
Education Prize:  J. Danforth Quayle, consumer of time and occupier of space, 
for demonstrating, better than anyone else, the need for science education.
Pedestrian Technology:  Paul Defanti, wizard of structures and crusader for 
public safety, for his invention of the Buckybonnet, a geodesic fashion 
structure that pedestrians wear to protect their heads and preserve their 
composure.
Biology Prize:  Robert Klark Graham, selector of seeds and prophet of 
propagation, for his pioneering development of the Repository for Germinal 
Choice, a sperm bank that accepts donations from Nobellians and Olympians.
Economics:  Michael Milken, titan of Wall Street and father of the junk bond, 
to whom the world is indebted.  "Unfortunately, Mr. Milken is unable to attend 
the ceremony today.  He has a previous 15-20 year engagement."
Literature:  Erich Von Daniken, visionary raconteur and author of Chariots of 
the Gods, for explaining how human civilization was influenced by ancient 
astronauts from outer space.
Peace:  Edward Teller, father of the hydrogen bomb and first champion of the 
Star Wars weapons system, for his lifelong efforts to change the meaning of 
peace as we know it.

Elected to the Posthumous Board of Governors:
Rube Goldberg, Marilyn vos Savant (honorary)

The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony is held on the first Thursday evening in October.  
Please mark down the date of next year's ceremony:  Thursday, October 7, 1993


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