From: richg@hatch.socal.com (Rich Greenberg)
Subject: Re: Far Right version of Bill of Rights
Keywords: topical, original, chuckle
Organization: Hatch Usenet and E-mail.  Playa del Rey, CA
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 17:35:35 GMT

Here is a joke posted on rec.humor.funny.  Has a ring of things to come.

Relax.  Its only a joke (at least I hope so!!)

In article <S45a.715e@looking.on.ca> maven@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov (Larry Fishbach) writes:
> 
>            Far Right's Proposed New "Bill of Rights"
>                                
>                          Amendment 1
>Congress shall make laws compelling the establishment of religion
>and demanding the exercise thereof; and abridging the freedom of
>speech and of the liberal press; and preventing the people from
>peaceful assembly; and forbidding the courts to redress
>grievances.
>
>                          Amendment 2
>A well-regulated militia being superfluous to the issue, the
>people shall be compelled to bear arms and kill each other.
>
>                          Amendment 3
>No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house,
>without the consent of the owner, unless that house is being used
>for the distribution of illegal substances.
>
>                          Amendment 4
>The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses,
>papers. and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures,
>shall be violated under the excuse of being for the public good,
>and no warrants shall need to be issued, but upon probable cause
>supported by anonymous sources, any place shall be subject to
>search and persons or things seized.
>
>                          Amendment 5
>Any person who refuses to testify in court about his involvement
>in a crime, shall automatically be judged guilty.  His property
>may be seized upon the governments determination that he must be
>guilty.
>
>                          Amendment 6
>In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right
>to a speedy and public trial before he is found guilty.  He is
>entitled to the assistance of counsel for his defense but not for
>any appeals.
>
>                          Amendment 7
>In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall
>exceed twenty million dollars, the right of trial by jury shall
>be preserved.
>
>                          Amendment 8
>Excessive bail shall be required to ensure that the accused are
>kept behind bars where they belong.
>
>                          Amendment 9
>The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall be
>ignored if they conflict with the Walton's version of Family
>Values.
>
>                          Amendment 10
>The powers not delegated to the United States by the
>Constitution, shall be reserved for the Supreme Court, except
>that the States shall have the right to ban abortions.
>
>
>**
>maven@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov          Larry Fishbach @ NASA Lewis Cleveland Ohio
>--
>Selected by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
>If you see a problem with an RHF posting, reply to the poster please, not to
>me.  Ask the poster to forward comments back to me if this is necessary.


-- 
                
Rich Greenberg - N6LRT - 310-649-0238 - richg@hatch.socal.com
Newsgroups: alt.privacy