From: RONEAL@lexmark.com
Subject: Redneck alert!
X-Disclaimer: These views are the poster's and not necessarily those of Lexmark
Organization: Lexmark International, Lexington, KY
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 05:47:15 GMT

Well, I thought I was in an area of the country that was essentially
immune to the recent reports of near misses, jackasses behind the wheel,
ad nauseum.  Unfortunately, last night I was reminded that this is not
so.  I commute 17.4 miles one way to work, just under 35 miles daily.
On my way home last night, about 6 miles from home, deep in horse farm
territory, I noticed a truck and two cars approaching.  Hmmm... unusual
traffic for *this* road at this time.  Oh well, they were moving slow
and the road was forgivingly wide in that area... no stone fences 2 feet
off of the paved surface.  I'm headed up a slight hill, preparing to turn
left once these three beasts pass.  As I'm just about to slow for the
delay for traffic and subsequent turn, I hear a loud pop and instantly feel
a stinging sensation on the back of my left arm just below my shoulder.
Thank God I usually clasp the brake levers/hoods while climbing as I have
a good grip on the bars, otherwise I'd be going down.  I notice that this
neanderthal swerved towards me so his cromagnon passenger can reach me with
a 2-quart Hawaiian Punch jug.  He smacked me with it hard enough that the
jug came out of his hand.  They motor off.  Damn it!  They spray paint these
blasted horse farm fences around here and the truck, an old Chevy, is so
covered with black creosote and white paint that I can only see the outline
of the license plate... no chance at all of making out any numbers; you'd
have to feel the friggin' numbers if you could get close enough.
 
The two other cars pass by with nary a blink of an eye.  I see the jug roll
down the road toward the ditch.  I can't believe this!  There's no way I can
sprint up to catch any further ID's on the truck.  The stinging goes away;
it's nothing that will need attention... actually sounds pretty wimpy.  But
blast it all... I was within 6 inches of the edge of the road, riding a
straight line, obeying all of the rules.  And this waste of human flesh
decides to whack me with his trash!?!
 
After I got home, I cleaned up and hopped in my van, went back and carefully
retrieved the bottle... yep, it's smeared with creosote and white paint.
I picked up the bottle with my pocket knife... I suppose with the paint one
could lift fingerprints (yeah, right... who'se gonna care *that* much but
me?).  Back home, a quick call to the cops confirms what I know already...
no license number, nothing you can do at all.  Crap.
 
It's not like I really got hurt.  I didn't, though I'd rather not get
slapped or hit routinely.  But I count myself lucky that these rednecks
didn't use a glass bottle, paint can, or whatever else usually is found
floating around in these old farm trucks.  Also, as hard as this jerk hit
my arm, if I had been shifting or changing hand positions, etc. I could/
would have gone down, in which case I could have seen much more of that
blasted truck than I'd care, or as close as the other two cars were, I could
have easily gone under one of them!  Damnit!  They decided in that brief
moment to take my life carelessly into their hands and to take a cheap shot.
 
Sorry for going on and on about this... I'm frustrated.  I've been driving
(oh NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!) around looking for the truck to no avail.  The road
I was on at the time and the time (6:15pm) would suggest they're quite
local, perhaps even living just up the road.  I haven't found them, but
when I do, what *can* I do?  The cops said I could file a complaint.  What
chance is there that anything will happen?  Is what I've described really
enough to charge these bozos with assault?  Sounds kinda stupid, really...
'Billy JoBob and Zeke RedNeck were charged today with assaulting a local
cyclist with an empty Hawaiian Punch bottle...'.  *sigh*
 
The one thing I definitely don't want to do is nothing... I'd rather somehow
teach these jerks that they *don't* have the right they claimed on me.
 
Watch out folks...
 
Randy O'Neal  RONEAL@lexmark.com     Printer Attach Software Development
                                     Lexmark International, Inc.
-- Weinberg's Law --                 Lexington, Ky.
'If builders built buildings like
 programmers wrote programs, then                                     __o
 the first woodpecker that came      "The views above are not those  `\<,
 along would destroy civilization.'   of my employer... just mine."  O/ O
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