From: shari@modcomp.uucp (Shari Bernhard)
Subject: Thanks to everyone (almost) for their support
Organization: MODCOMP, an AEG company
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 15:20:43 GMT
Summary: About Dale

You may have read my husband Jeff's post that Dale passed away.  I just
wanted to post this to bring it to closure.  I wanted to provide the most
updated details about Dale's accident and the circumstances surrounding
it.  I also want to publicly thank the many people who wrote to us
privately with their thoughts of support and sympathy.  It was truly
heartwarming.  This will be rather long, and for those to whom I already
responded, I apologize in advance for some of the redundancy.

According to the police report, Dale was riding to work on a bike path
separated from the road by a 10-foot grass strip.  It was about 8 am and
fully light.  Dale uses a mirror but it would have been of little use in
this circumstance.  The driver of the car that hit him was returning from
a night shift job and just nodded off behind the wheel and veered off to
the right.  He could just have easily hit a guy walking his dog, a woman
wheeling a baby carriage or a couple of kids on their way to school.  It
just happened to be Dale.

A few words about the driver:  he was not a feeble old person or some
scumbag drunk who didn't give a rat's ass.  He was 34 years old, a member
of the National Guard or Reserves or something, and he has a young daughter
who is severely retarded or ill and requires special care.  He worked the
night shift for the higher pay.  He had insurance which says something
positive of his character, because a high percentage of people down here
just don't bother.  The trouble is, the medical payments portion is minimal:
$5000.  He is apparently devastated by what he has done, and will have to
live with it for the rest of his life.

Dale was carrying identification.  It was in his jersey, but the impact
caused his helmet to break in half, his wallet and other things in his
jersey were thrown about 150 feet, and even his necklace was torn off.
(There goes the dogtags idea).  His brother Darryl went to the scene and
found them.  The newspapers described the shirt he was wearing as black.
In reality, it was a bike shop's racing jersey of mustard yellow, green,
white and red, with Wheeler Dealer on it.  It was black with blood and
dirt.  Someone finally figured out what it said on it and call the shop.
They sent someone to identify him.  Dale had gone through the windshield
of the car.  His face was very badly damaged.

The memorial service for him was Saturday.  It was then that I realized
what made Dale a special person of warmth, friendliness, and, well,
goodness.  He was a religious Christian, and it was all within.  He 
didn't preach, or make a big show of it.  In fact, most people didn't
know how religious he was.  It was inside him and that made him a
comfortable, enjoyable person to be around.  Most people, in talking
about him described him, among other things, as "quiet".  He really
was, but when he wasn't there, you noticed.  I'm Jewish, so I can't
really identify with Christian teachings, but I did find that whatever
it is, it made Dale special.

On Sunday, we had our "Big Event" ride.  It's a once-a-month specialty
ride where all ride levels leave from the same place going different
routes for different lengths and ending up at the start around the same
time for refreshments and socializing.  Dale was scheduled to lead the
fast ride.  Instead, we had a 10-mile slow paced ride in Dale's honor.
All 60 or 70 of us wore black ribbons on our jerseys and in one big group
rode through the surrounding neighborhoods in a show of unity, support,
and solidarity for one of our own who meant so much to us.  It was a
therapeutic event for many of us.

Now, there were a couple of posts (thanks for the warning, Pam) which
disparaged the American health care system.  I replied to one and the
other bounced back to me, but it angered me enough that I have to respond.
Even though the hospital had no idea who Dale was from the time he was
brought in at 8 am until about 4 pm, they treated him like he was the
president of the hospital.  They operated on him, put him in ICU, and had
constant care of 4-6 specialist ICU nurses.  People outside the US may 
have "heard" bad things about the US hospital care system, but the reality
is they did everything they possibly could for Dale and for his family,
whom they treated with the utmost tenderness, kindness and support.  I
*know* this.  We had people there from our bike club who also work in
hospitals with the family and observing what was being done.  One member,
an anesthesiologist at another hospital, spoke to one of her friends who
worked on him the the operating room.  They did everything they could.
You people have no right to pass judgment here.  That's it for rebuttal.

Once again, thanks to everyone who wrote and responded.  A few asked where
they could send flowers.  I don't care how crass this sounds, but if you
could find it in your hearts to send donations in lieu of flowers it would
be greatly appreciated.  Dale had only been at his new job 3 months and
the company-supplied benefits didn't take effect yet, neither life nor
health insurance.  24 hours on life support is very expensive.  The
driver's insurance won't cover much.  Dale's wife's name is Ann and their
address can be obtained from me or Jeff.  I didn't want to post it for
obvious reasons.

Thank you,

Shari Bernhard
uunet!modcomp!shari

Jeff Bernhard
uunet!amber.ssd.csd.harris.com!jeffb