From: otto@tukki.jyu.fi (Otto J. Makela)
Subject: Re: Ketjukirje
Organization: The Crimson Permanent Assurance Company
Distribution: sfnet
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 21:14:52 GMT

In article <HMALLAT.92Aug25190225@sandman.hut.fi> hmallat@niksula.hut.fi (Hannu Mallat (Hack! More!)) writes:
   Mielenkiintoista, mit{ kaikkea postilaatikkoon tipahtaakaan. Jokin
   aika sitten l|ysin sielt{ helluntailaisten pamfletin, t{n{{n
   ketjukirjeen.

From: seibert@xn.ll.mit.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: chain letter justice, original
Keywords: smirk
Date: 30 Aug 91 10:30:07 GMT


		    NEVER WORRY ABOUT MONEY AGAIN!
			 WIN A FREE VACATION!

		This really works and is almost legal!

Hello, my name is Dave Rhodes.  Two years ago I was broke, my car was
reposessed, you've heard my story hundreds of times....  Then I
instigated a chain letter to become rich off of stupid people!  I lost
my last 10 bucks to it, but within only weeks two uniformed chauffeurs
showed up to whisk me away on my dream vacation: an all-expenses paid
trip to a huge 500 room resort including food, aerobics programs,
library and laundry benefits!!  Now I don't worry about money at all
because even tips are covered!  Membership has its priviledges.

At first I thought that the handcuffs required by the chauffeurs were
pretty kinky, but when they started telling me about the rules, I
became too excited about my chances of winning the dream vacation to
object.  The qualification procedures were grueling, but well worth
the effort.  I spent several days meeting with an application
committee of my peers and introducing my aquaintances to them before I
was awarded the grand prize.  I became famous - an instant celebrity.
After another kinky trip with security appropriate to my fame, I was
provided with free leisure attire, introduced to the resort doormen
who keep out the riff-raff, and directed to a single room prepared
especially for me.  I met some of the other guests, who assigned me my
own "handle": Dipstick Dave.  The rooms are private, so I have a lot
of personal time ("solitary," they call it; I love the colorful
terminology).  I've been using my free time to send Wish-You-Were-Here
chain-postcards to all my relatives, but I think most of them are too
jealous to visit or write.  Except my mother-in-law; she visited once,
didn't say anything, but seemed awfully happy to see me here.

Guess what?  There are two openings at the end my row.  Occasionally,
the current guest in Suite A (Suite A gets the best food) leaves and
we're all shifted up the row.  Well, that leaves an opening, for which
YOU MIGHT QUALIFY!!!  No purchase necessary.  Void where prohibitted.
Certain restrictions apply.  Employees and relatives are eligible.  You
must be at least 18 years of age and as DUMB AS A POST.  All you have
to do is add your name to a chain letter and sucker in a few other
posts.  It's really easy.  You'll lose money on the chain letter, of
course, but think of it as an application fee.  Send me a copy and I'll
pass it along to the doormen.  You may already have won!!  You can't
win if you don't enter the game.  That's what I used to think.  Send
away today!  No-risk!  Guaranteed!  This is an equal-opportunity scam.
Winners list available.  While quantities last.  Allow 4-6 weeks.

Having a wonderful time.  Wish you were here.  Dave the Dipstick.

--
Selected by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.

Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line.
Don't use "joke" or "submission" or "joke submission," please.

-- 
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