From: groucho!thinh@uu.psi.com (Thinh N. Nguyen)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.vietnamese
Subject: [JOKES] Election and misc.
Date: 6 Nov 92 04:49:15 GMT
Reply-To: groucho!thinh@uu.psi.com

Hi netters:

Finally the election is over and I have a few observation I would like
to share with you.

First, may be you have to be born in this country to understand it but
to me, the president election in the US is a big waste of money. For 
more than a year, the candidates spent lots of money to tell us that 
none of them is good enough to be president but in the end we have to 
choose one of them anyway.

Then came the polls. Every week all the major networks and papers spend
big bucks to come up with poll results that are usually with +- 2%
accuracy. I was just sitting there thinking: "If the damn polls are so
good, why the hell do we have to vote anyway?" Call me crazy but if we
just get, say, the top 5 polls in the nation, get the average and anounce
the winner right the night before the election we would save "mucho
denero". Imagine you are the guys that were called to asked the same
question for 6 months and still have to vote to show them you mean what
you said. What a waste? All the local issues are usually too confusing 
for me to vote and "why should I?". That what you and I paid the politician 
for right. Why do we have to pay these guys when we have to make all the 
decision anyway.
 
I can hear those can in the East coast laughing but for us over here in
the West coast, voting for the president is as fun as watching a taped 
US open match when you already heard the score on the way home. Can
anyone overthere know how to keep a secret?

OK, it sound kind of dangerous but look at the amount of money
we would save. According to my estimation, if we do this we could reduce
the deficit to about 600 trillion dollars by the year 2139 and wipe it
out completely by the year 2873. Can any of you do better?

Second, the "year of the women" thing. This is very confusing to me. I
was sitting at home watchin' TV chillin' out, thinkin' about Te^'t and 
WHAM. Everyone start to call this year "year of the women". I start to 
go "Su+~u, Thi`n, Ty., Ngo., Mu`i, Tha^n, Da^.u ..." and realize that 
the woman ain't in there. I think this is the Republican and FBI dirty 
trick but I cannot prove it. Yes it is very harmless now, but this is 
what I think they are going to do. Next year they will have a group of 
men from, say, San Francisco start to say:" Last year you have year of 
the woman. It's only fair that this year would be "year of the men" and 
we lost the rooster (da^.u) right there. Then the "save the whale" group 
will claim that the tiger is an agressive canovorous animal and should be 
replace by, you guess it, "the whale". We all know how powerful this
group are. 

Slowly, they will take our "12 con gia'p" away. I say we must put a stop 
to this and copyright our "12 con gia'p" now. Do you want to see the day 
when your 3 years old daughter come up to you and ask: "daddy/mommy, last 
year was the year of the dodo bird and this year is the year of the woman, 
what is next year's animal?" and you don't know the answer to that? Scary 
isn't it? 

In order to implement this, we need money for legal fee and travel
expenses. You should send checks, money orders or cash (we prefer
small, unmarked bills) to :

CopyRight Our Or Chinese Zodiac (CROOCZ)
cell 415
San Quentin, CA 91111

or get your credit card ready and call this number 1-800-NOSCAM. When
our operators are not making license plates, they are standing by. 

THAT IS NOT ALL!!, the first 10 donators will each receive a Ginsu 
calculator as a gift from our organization. This calculator is not the 
typical domestic Reverse Polish Notation kind (boy I am in trouble now) 
but the was made in Tibet, the highest Hi Tech capital of the world. 
All the parts including the 6 layers board and the chips are hand made . 

*********************************************************************
BONUS JOKE | BONUS JOKE | BONUS JOKE | BONUS JOKE | BONUS JOKE

I read this joke in a Vietnamese magazine in Saigon more than 20 years
ago and don't remember well enough to credit it properly but here it
goes:

Te`o mo+'i du+o+.c nha^.n va`o la`m cho to+` ba'o "La' Ca?i Saigon"
va` giu+~ nhie^.m vu. vie^'t mu.c "Xe ca'n cho', cho' ca'n xe" *.
Nga`y dda^` tie^n, o^ng chu? nhie^.m go.i Te`o va`o va da(.n:

"Lu'c xu+a to^i cu~ng vie^'t ba`i cho mu.c XCCCCX, mo^.t
ddie^`u quan tro.ng nha^'t ma` anh pha?i nho+' la` ne^n vie^'t
ca`ng nga('n chu+`ng na`o to^'t chu+`ng ddo'."

Ho^m sau, o^ng chu? nhie^.m nha^n ddo+u+.c ba`i cu+?a pho'ng vie^n Te`o
tu+o+ng thua^.t mo^.t tai na. ho?a hoa.n:

"DDe^m 30 tha'ng gie^ng. Tha('p ne^'n xem bi`nh xa(ng xe Honda co`n hay
he^'t. Xa(ng co`n! ...Na.n nha^n Nguye^~n va(n Ty' hu+o+~ng tho. 23
tuo^?i."


* Police Report and misc. reporting

 
Thi.nh n. Nguye^~n
bye,