From: barb@sq.sq.com (Barbara Burrows)
Subject: Re: Far apart in age
Organization: SoftQuad Inc., Toronto, Canada
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 16:15:48 GMT

In article <9210081727.AA11155@panhed.psc.edu> grant@panhed.psc.edu (Shirl Grant) writes:
>
>>Also I think your daughter will be so much more comfortable with you
>>having a baby when she's 13.  She'll probably end up being a real help
>>and a very caring sister.  My brothers' reaction when I was born and they
>
>Not to mention the extra benefit from a prental point of view:  being a
>teenager and having a baby sibling does wonders for awreness and birth
>control.  When most girls are thinking how cute and adorable babies
>are, and how they'd like to have one, your daughter understands the
>work and responsibility it takes to do it right.
>
>-Shirl

My "share-daughters" (my husband's from a previous marriage) are 17 and 12.
They are thrilled with their new brother (now 1 year old!).  They're even
thrilled after having found out that babies aren't always joyous and fun
but work too!  I think it's given them experience and a perspective that
they wouldn't have had otherwise.  They certainly don't seem to have a problem
with having a brother so much younger.  He certainly doesn't seem to have
a problem having sisters so much older.  The only time I get concerned is
thinking about how much attention he gets.....he's doted on by all involved...
I don't want a spoiled....need to be the center of attention....child.  We're
fairly disciplined though....and I don't think that we (conciously) make
more of him than of them, for instance.  We want to emphasize that each 
member of the family is important.  You might want to consider that and
make sure your 13 year old doesn't cater to the new baby completely.

But....here's another twist.  I'm 37.  I have a brother 35....and a sister
who has just turned 14 (all from the same parents...yes, she was a bit of
a surprise - but welcome!).  I'll take the liberty and speak for her....
she has always seemed to like having older siblings....and what advantages!
She basically has two other homes.  Certainly mine has been like a second
home....and she has been like another sister to Barry's daughters...fitting
right in the middle.  She often weekends with us.  I've taken her with us
(and with just me) to tons of places (vacations, movies, playgrounds, resorts,
plays) that wouldn't have been available to her otherwise.....certainly not
if I was a sibling her age.  We've also been able to have great conversations
that I think she may have been uncomfortable having with my mom and dad.  
I think she feels pretty secure having a much older brother and sister.  

I think it's important though for your 13 year old to remember that she's
a sister and not a mom.  I've never tried to mother my sister despite the
23 years age difference and so our relationship is not that of parent-child
and that has allowed us, I think, to be so close.

Sorry, I think this is pretty jumbled....I've been interrupted about 3000
times....give or take a thousand.  But, I think you should just enjoy.  It'll
be okay.  Really.


         				|
Good Luck       			|  The world is so full 
Barbara 				|  of a number of things
					|  We should be all
					|  Happy as kings!  
					|


Newsgroups: misc.kids