Return-Path: <tushar@math.uchicago.edu>
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.words-l
Date:         Tue, 29 Sep 1992 03:39:49 CDT
From:         tushar@MATH.UCHICAGO.EDU
Subject:      ATEP (a CONSIDERED reaction)

The small tinny voices of the cowering and modestly self-effacing masses
of voters have once again combined into the stentorian authoritarian
clarion of The People's Mandate. I accept it in all humility.

Surprisingly, I did nothing to influence the votes. I sent in exactly one
vote in one category. The category doesn't apply to me. Let us now turn to
the votes. Clearly, my running with 1 or 2 votes each in:

Most pleasant, Most interesting stories, Dullest stories, Most informative
in a factual way, Asks the dumbest questions, Nastiest to newbies, Nicest
to newbies, Talks most about SO, Talks most about himself, Talks most about
words, Most Postings, Most Boring Life, and Best All-around Poster Boy

can be considered summed up in the category designed with me in mind:

>WINNER: Most confusing		with 13 votes

It gives me great pleasure to imagine masses of hapless clueless newbies
hacking at postings trying to decide what to make of them. I like to think
that the confusion is at all levels - the typographical, the graphemic,
the syntactic, the semantic, the discursive, the stylistic, and beyond.
I would like to say that my text is self-undermining and also distinctly
semiotic in its recursiveness. But it's only to be expected - after all,
it reflects the essential paradoxes inherent in the postmodern internet
society.

I also stand unchallenged in:

Most irritating		with  7 votes
Foulest language	with  8 votes
Most clever		with  8 votes

It seems that being irritating, confusing and foul-mouthed somehow makes a
person clever in the eyes of the teeming millions. Since this is just a
malaise affecting the age we live in, I will smile indulgently but refrain
from making further comments.

I have been runner up in the Most Unpleasant, Dullest Stories, Most Postings
and Most Boring Life categories. However, due to lack of a significant number
of votes, I can only be considered to be voted in in the Most Unpleasant
category. Not less than five people think this. I would have liked to ask
them to get into contact with me, had they not already stopped reading this
posting.

Some interesting tidbits: I also strike someone as talking the most about
my SO. Taken in combination with someone thinking I talk most about myself,
and about words, and the category of most postings, I consider it to be an
attempt at simply articulating an opinion that I just talk. The mind of the
mob expresses itself in strange ways, and must be interpreted with a nicety
of thought. There are 2 votes for Nastiest To Newbies as opposed to 1 Nicest
To Newbies vote. This creates a nice composite and throws the quintessential
two-sidedness of my character in stark relief.

I take this opportunity to thank my mother and my grandparents, who have been
a constant source of guidance. I would also like to express my gratitude to
everyone who voted bravely to make their voices heard.

I apologise to the two persons I was nasty to during their newbie days.

Finally, I will indulge in the silly pastime of giving oneself a title. I
proclaim myself List Subscriber.

tushar
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