From: cmoore@AFIT.AF.MIL (Chataun R. Moore)
Newsgroups: alt.child-support
Subject: Re: Please Tell me
Date: 23 Jul 92 15:08:55 GMT
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology, WPAFB OH

In article <1992Jul14.124538.12577@ll.mit.edu> yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich) writes:

>In article <L5eVNB1w164w@xocolatl.com> ssmith@xocolatl.com (Shannon Smith) writes:
>>shedevil@vix.com (Anne P. Mitchell JD) writes:
>>
>>> In a recent missive ssmith@xocolatl.com (Shannon Smith) writes:
>>> *
>>> *> lbrown@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Latonya Brown) writes:
>>> *> 
>>> *> > Hi I am new to this group I am filing in Upper Marlboro, MD for Child
>>> *> > support.  I dont know what to expect? And I dont know what is available
>>> *> > to me as is what type (if there is different types) of support to reques
>>> *> > or do they decide that?
>>> *> 
>>> *> Best of luck in getting your questions answered here. :-(
>>> *>  
>>> *> [some of Latonya's stuff deleted for the sake of brevity]
>>> *> 
>>> *> Sounds like you and I were involved with very similar men, men whom
>>> *> many of the regular readers of this newsgroup simply do not believe
>>> *> exist.
>>> 
>>> Shannon, I doubt that a single reader here doesn't believe that such
>>> men exist.  I, for example, *know* that such men exist, as my
>>> ex-husband is one such man.  I haven't seen a shred of child-support
>>> in several years.
>> 
>>(stuff deleted for brevity)
>>
>>> Morally, I believe that if a person isn't prepared to fully support
>>> their child, they have no business demanding custody of them.  Note
>>> the term "prepared".  That is not to say that the NCP shouldn't
>>> contribute 1/2, they should.  But, if you demanded custody, and your
>>> co-parent either can't or won't contribute their 1/2, don't whine
>>> about how hard it is...nobody *forced* you to demand custody.
>>
>>You didn't finish your thought.  You say "if you demanded custody...
>>don't whine..."  Do you think it might be okay if I "whine"--or as I
>>see it, "justifiably complain"--if I *didn't* demand custody?  If I had
>>full custody thrust upon me with all kinds of well-wishes but nothing I
>>could buy food and shelter with?  Believe you me, if I could sue for
>>joint custody, and INSIST that he take custody of the kids half of
>>the time, and have some kind of enforcement available should he
>>decide to renege--again--on that obligation, I would.
>>
>>But I can not.  All I can sue for is money.  And I am suing for money,
>>too--every last dime I can get ahold of up to one half of the cost of
>>raising these kids in a reasonable, middle-class style.  The style we
>>were accustomed to before all this started up--not Leona Helmsly's
>>idea of a middling standard.
>>
>>The man talks about support, but doesn't do diddly, much less half.
>>I do not see that changing without my "whining."
>>
>>So, please finish your thought.  Exactly how much "whining" am I (or
>>are others in my situation) entitled to, in your book?
>>
>>Shannon Smith                     ssmith@xocolatl.com

>       Interesting.

>       1)  Here's a *woman* who exibits the same kind of apathy that
>       Mr. EuStress has and *he* got flamed off the net.

>       2) I suppose you can whine all you like.  But this may not be the
>       place for it.  Most of the men here have or desire custody,
>       so wanting to reduce responsibility among a group who are forced
>       to live at a poverty level *because* of responsibility might
>       not fly.

>       See other groups (such as misc.kids) view kids as an asset
>       as much as a liabliity.  And the general concensus both here
>       and there is that kids are equally both.  So having a kid
>       with you increases both.  Theoretically *not* having the
>       kid with you would *decrease* both.  And it would depend on
>       how much you value either situation.

>       But in the case of men, we have no choice.  If *you* (women)
>       have the kid, or if *we* have the kid, *our* responsibility
>       changes little.  We still have to pay.  But if you manage to
>       unload 50% of custody, you've reduced your responsibility without
>       reducing your benefit.  Chances are you'll still receive the same
>       support.  You'll just have a little more free time to spend it.



>-- 
>       Alan Yasutovich
>       "inquiring  (and nosey) minds WANT TO KNOW!!!"
>       I can remember when "safe sex" meant having a padded headboard!!
>       Tick Tock.....Tick Tock......Tick Tock .....Tick Tock......

Girl if that man aint taking care of responsibility then the hell with him!  
Get all the child support you can get.  Don't let anyone tell you that you 
are whining, because you're not.  I do know how hard it is to take care of a 
child.  But I'm still fortunate to still have her father.  If he's not 
sharing the responsibility then get him somehow, and that's the only way.  
If you can make babies then take care of them.  Good luck with taking care 
of your kids ALONE!  
Newsgroups: alt.child-support,misc.legal