HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: To Erin from Charlotte
Date: 19 Nov 92 04:48:51 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Erin--

Could you possibly get an anon address?  I'd like to talk with you about some
of the things you wrote to me, but I'm not yet ready to talk non-anon.  (Sad,
but true.)

The Captain



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From: anon-1308@twwells.com (Boo-Boo)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: test
Date: 20 Nov 92 20:08:02 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes


This is a test



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From: anon-1357@twwells.com (Silver Tiger)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: To Captain and more
Date: 20 Nov 92 04:35:31 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

Captain:

How well I know what it is like to never be asked out.  And I know that it
is much to do with how I act.  There is one person whom I have been
observing lately, and he is very shy.  As far as I can tell, he has a good
sense of humor, and is very intelligent, but he is afraid to tell the
neatest jokes or to say things.  I would be attracted to him, but when I
start feeling like I might want to go out with someone, immediately my
thoughts turn to sex and how if the relationship progressed that far I
would be so scared...and that's a long way in the future of any
relationship I will have!  I have attempted to show my interest (in those
times when I am feeling "up" and not so insecure), but I am not sure if
he a) knows that I am trying, or b) knows, and is ignoring it because
he does not like me or c) knows, and is ignoring it because of traumatic
events in his own past.  

Where do you live, anyways, Captain? :)

And the others:  

Just a thought:  Don't you get sick of constantly being told that you will
never recover, that abuse survivors are hopeless, that they will go
insane?  Oh sure, nobody may come out and say it to you directly, but take
these examples:  While driving along and listening to a sex abuse trial on
the radio, my friend's mother comments "Those poor kids.  Their lives are
just ruined."  I felt like saying, "I'm doing not badly right now, thank you!"
I hear comments like this all the time.  I went to the library, and found
myself in the sexual abuse recovery section.  In four books that I went
through, only one stated that sometimes the abused can recover with no
therapy at all, they can do it themselves.  This is true for some people,
and nobody should be forced to think that they NEED counseling if they
don't feel like it.  Of course, nobody should be forced to think that they
don't need counselling if they do.  I know that for me, this group is the
best counsellor so far.  Thank you.

Silver Tiger
(poohbear, I know where you said you were going now, please come back
safely, if tiggers can cry I know that tigers can too...)




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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: fields@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Matthew Fields)
Subject: review: radio flier
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 15:41:07 GMT


I just visited somebody who has a television, and we say the movie
Radio Flier on video.

Pretty realistic representation of abuse, and has some interesting things
to say about memory.

Kinda sad ending, once you get it.

In some ways, its' kinda unrealistic (bad guy gets in trouble, e.g.), and
the sexual side of abuse isn't mentioned.  Spoiler: if movies about
survivors give you nightmares about your childhood, you might think twice
on the way to seeing this one.
From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Still no reply
Date: 18 Nov 92 00:13:56 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

No, my counselor still hasn't replied to me.  Do you think it's
unprofessional of him to have not replied to my concerns for this long?  Even
if he replied in writing, like I asked (I want everything in writing should I
decide to file a formal complaint), I should have gotten something by now --
especially since he can reach me through electronic mail.

*** RANTING SPOILER ***



















My counselor is an asshole.
My dean is a bitch.
I want to rip their fucking heads off for what they've done to me.

Sorry for the bad language!

The Captain



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From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: To anon-1267
Date: 20 Nov 92 16:31:19 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Speaking of homosexuality and religion, there's been a long thread about this
recently on bit.listserv.catholic if you read it.  The point is that
homosexuality itself isn't considered sinful by the Church, only acting on
the urges (ie. engaging in homosexual sex) is sinful.  Actually, all sex
contrary to 'God's will' (I can't remember the exact phrase I read) is
sinful, which includes things like premarital sex and sex after divorce, etc. 
So I would guess a large portion of Catholics have sinned in this area
themselves.  Another analogy is that alcoholism itself is not sinful, but
abusing the alcohol is.

The Captain



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From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: spoiler warning -- dreams & memories & stuff
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 04:43:47 GMT

Sierra (anon-1372@twwells.com) wrote:

: Also, what do people think about the idea that multiples are people that
: have had extra-special bad stuff happen to them?  Does that mean that
: people who are _not_ multiples did not have bad stuff happen to them? I
: don't know.  I've heard this idea before, and it bothers me at the same
: time that there seems to be some kind of truth in it.  I don't want
: to rate my abuse on a scale and say, Oh, it wasn't THAT bad, so you
: can't really be a multiple (or, Oh, it was that bad so your feelings about
: yourself are validated), but that's what at least part of me wants to
: do.

I don't think it's an issue of "bad" vs. "not-so-bad" - I think it's an issue
of some people develop MPD as a way to deal with abuse, some don't.  If you
start rating abuse this way, who's going to draw the line at "my abuse was
worse than your abuse"?  I don't think it matters much - abuse is abuse, and
the way you cope(d) with it is how you cope(d) with it.
--
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
seeker, therefore, is concerned with one thing only: to become aware of what
he already is, of the True Self within."  -- Zen maxim
-- 
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
From: anon-1357@twwells.com (Silver Tiger)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Letter to perp-Sandy
Date: 22 Nov 92 17:10:39 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

Sandy, what a powerful letter!

I wasn't sure if I was going to read it, but I am glad I did.  In fact,
a lot of it applied to my situation (and quite a few others who are
reading this group too, of course)...  I hope it made you feel better
to write.  

Oh, and about werewolves:  I posted a story of mine here a while ago
that involved a "good" werewolf...you might want to reference that,
or I could send you a copy.  It might help, but if you don't think
it will, that's cool. :)

I have to go reread your letter now and beat up a pillow,
'scuse me (this is going to feel GOOD!) :)

Silver Tiger




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From: blackbourner@bvc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: I'm back for now.
Date: 22 Nov 92 12:48:39 CDT
Organization: Buena Vista College, Storm Lake, IA


> Anyhow I'll stop Babbling now but I would really appreciate some replies,
> Love and Hugs...!!! 
> 
> I REALLY NEED LOVE AND HUGS!!!!!!!!!!
> 
>                                         Crystal 
> 

Here's a big hug!

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Erin Sue

***************************************************************************
Erin Sue Blackbourn          *  "Normal must be in the eye of the beholder."
Buena Vista College, Box 2007*			--- Whoopi Goldberg	 
610 W. 4th St.               *
Storm Lake, Iowa 50588	     *  "I'm not handicapped, I'm drunk!" 
          		     *			--- Geri Jewell
***************************************************************************
From: anon-1318@twwells.com (Free Amazon)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: triumph of the human spirit
Date: 23 Nov 92 03:17:56 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Dear Friends,

I want to thanks everyone who has written to me in the last few weeks 
and especially the last few days. I really needed your support and you 
were there for me.

I have been totally blown away by the compassion of the members of this 
group. You have all suffered so much and yet you reach out to help 
others knowing there is always the risk of being hurt in the process. 
You rise above your own pain and help me with mine so that I can rise up 
and help you in return.

Thank you all so very much. With your help I have weathered this storm 
and am stronger each time these storms sweep over me, through me. Thanks 
for the affirmations, the images, the protection, the strength, the 
hugs, and the love. I'll pass it on.

As someone who helped me alot said...

Your friend in healing,

Free Amazon



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From: sbecker@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: RE: Greetings
Date: 18 Nov 92 00:34:43 CST
Organization: University of Kansas Academic Computing Services

Welcome to Hide-n-seek!

If you are a dependent unable to get parental support for therapy, you
might check out what kind of services are offered at your universoty--
often the clinical psych/counseling psych departments will offer something,
and your health center ought to have a mental health unit of some kind.
also, you can go to any local 12 Step meetings free of charge--they're found
in most Yellow Pages under "Alcoholism," "Overeaters Anonymous," or whatever
the focus of the group.  There are some which focus entirely on incest
survivors.  Good  luck and keep on posting!  We're glad to have you here.

Sarah
From: anon-1355@twwells.com (I'm working on it)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: some stuff (suicide)
Date: 18 Nov 92 23:35:50 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Hi. I'm new to this, but I just read your post about suicide, and how it's
ultimately an individual decision. I agree. And I, too would have a hard
time saying to someone, "don't do this, it's wrong." I wouldn't feel
genuine about that. But we ought to, when we can, help people keep from
being 
*driven* to suicide, which would not really be a choice, oughtn't we?

Last time we heard from poohbear, I sent a message (my first) which
unfortunately didn't get there. Technical glitch, I think. I remember the
first line, which was

Poohbear, don't let them make you do this

And that was from the heart, because I sent it right away, without
processing much of anything first. I guess my point is, each of us can
choose whatever we want. But we should make sure it's what we (and all of
our "we's" want) and not what someone else wants. I felt for poohbear,
because poohbear appeared to feel forced into poohbear's choice. Which is
not to say suicide, but the choice sounded very serious indeed. Am I making
sense here? And choices like cutting don't seem like they'd be made out of
anything less than desperation, i.e. being driven.

I've gone on too long. Poohbear, if you read this, I think about you often.
Come back if you can.

Peace.






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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Update on My World
From: emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp)
Date: 19 Nov 92 23:40:17 -0600

In article <BxxLvB.58L@twwells.com>  writes:
>Hi, everyone.
>
>This is an update on my world, if you care to read it. I've been posting a lot
>...

When did this start happening? There may be a connection if it is timed with 
your therapy or something.. Just an idea-

emiddlec@ancho.gac.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: doug@cdc.hp.com (Doug Sojourner)
Subject: Re: Loss of privacy *spoilers*
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 22:22:04 GMT
Reply-To: dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
Organization: HP California Design Center, Santa Clara, CA
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]

Enigma (enigma@netcom.com) wrote:
:Also, if you're on a UNIX system, maybe you could use the find 
:command to see where the files are:
:
:cd /
:find . -name myfile -print
:

Also, if you think the files may have lost their original names, you
can try 

find / -exec grep -l 'something you expect to see in the file' {} \;


This one will slow the system down even more though.  Also, try and
use a "something you expect to see in the file" which you do NOT mind
if people see (since they can see your find command in the list of
running processes). One possible choice would be your name, or other
identifying information which by itself does not tell anyone anything.

Doug Sojourner

dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
anon-1158@twwells.com
From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: greetings
Date: 18 Nov 92 05:06:51 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

If you're at college, is there any way you can talk to a counselor at
the college?  A lot (if not all) colleges have counseling staff for
students should they need it.

Good luck in your recovery!

The Captain



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From: fields@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Matthew Fields)
Subject: Re: religion  [*irrelevancy spoiler*]
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 21:20:29 GMT

In article <1992Nov19.134820.29336@zip.eecs.umich.edu> fields@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Matthew Fields) writes:
[...lots deleted....]

>ignorance, and prevent old mistakes from recurring.  There's not a lot
>of positive evidence that it does, so I know I'm deluding myself if I
>say that it definitely does.  Perhaps operational belief in religion
                                                             ^^^^^^^^
  -----word should have been "education"

>and the muse is my "operational religion"...but if asked point blank
From: sbecker@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Sewer Grates (was: re. recovery goals)
Date: 18 Nov 92 19:32:07 CST
Organization: University of Kansas Academic Computing Services

What if the analogy weren't about a sewer grate?  I must say I agree with
Cloister Bell. . .fear is a teacher.  How about the analogy of the two-
year old ewho touches a hot stove.  That child will remember the pain, fear
it and not touch the hot stove again.  This is *good*, right?  SO why would
a survivor's learning to avoid pain, fear of repeating painful behaviors and
situations be invalid?

Here's an even better anaolgy:  All you need is one plane crash to make you
afraid of flying.  Even if you get up the courage later to get in another
airplane, you'd still be leery until you landed safely... can you see my
point?

Thanks for listening, all.  :)

Sarah
From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: to bob
Date: 18 Nov 92 06:48:35 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Our email system has a "return receipt" you can activate so that when the
letter is "opened" it an automatic reply is sent from the mail server to the
sender....  I used that option, of course.  My counselor read the letter last
Friday (three and a half days ago).  If he were competent I think he would
have replied by now.

The Captain



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From: anon-1218@twwells.com (Anika)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Recovery Goals?
Date: 19 Nov 92 19:23:07 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes





19-Nov-92 00:51	erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)	Re: Recovery Goals?

Anika (anon-1218@twwells.com) wrote:

: 17-Nov-92 20:58	erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)	Re: Recovery Goals?   writes:
: 
: But isn't looking in the sewer grate "just in case" a fear-based response,
: rooted in the memory of the abuse?  If you still didn't fear, you wouldn't
: look, would you?  It seems to me that if you live your life looking around the
: next corner to make sure you won't get jumped, that's a very fearful way to
: live.  Now, if you heard a strange noise from the sewer grate, you'd look --
: and perhaps be a bit fearful -- but would you run away in terror?
: 
: 	I don't think anyone's said anything about looking around every corner

I did.  I'm no one?  Thank you for your opinion.

		Ed, I meant that *prior* to you, no one had indicated that
		that would be a healthy response. Yet you're arguing the
		point as though someone has. I have expressed my concern
		about what *my* goals in recovery are. I have expressed my
		perceived goals, and asked for other's input about *their*
		goals. You took my goals and responded to them with,
		"But isn't looking in the sewer grate "just in case" a
		fear-based response, rooted in the memory of the abuse?...It 
		seems to me that if you live your life looking around
		the next corner to make sure you won't get jumped, that's a
		very fearful way to live." 
		No one ever suggested this way of life. You have taken
		an issue and a question which I asked in the hopes of finding
		information helpful to my recovery, and turned it into a
		circus. No one can continue this conversation without assuming
		that I, or someone, recommended taking an incredibly defensive
		stance. This was important to me, Ed, and now I won't get
		the answers I wanted. 

>Yes, but there are folks here that go to that extreme - there have been more
>than a few posts dealing with that subject.

		Then express your feelings when posts on that topic come up.
		Don't bring them in here and distort my question and deny me
		responses that could help me.

							Anika



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From: egan@blkbox (Doug Egan)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: RELIGION
Date: 15 Nov 92 18:34:24 GMT
Organization: CVR

In <1992Nov12.164215.24730@unislc.uucp> erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:

>"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
>all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
>seeker, therefore, is concerned with one thing only: to become aware of what
>he already is, of the True Self within."  -- Zen maxim

    This is a very good phrase very meaningful words.

Crystal
-----------------

-- 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Doug Egan    CompuVision Research                                         
Internet:    egan@blkbox.com                                              
Friendswood, Texas                                                        
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery