From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov ( Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: the "oh" experience
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 23:50:09 GMT

>But doesn't this air of mystery, with many people, turn into something
>dark after a while, as they imagine their spouse in sexual situations with
>a third party? For many - especially if the relationship hasn't matured in
>terms of trust and dependability, it WILL play on their minds untill it
>starts to become something destructive.

Well, here's my story.
   About a year and a half ago, I somehow got involved with a nice, completely
virginal young female college student.  I'm still not quite sure how it
happened, but I like it.  I do indeed love the woman, and I am not sure what
I would possibly do without her.
   When we got involved she knew that I was bi, and she knew that I had a
bit of an odd reputation.  She seemed absolutely fascinated with it (and
she still does; I sometimes get quizzed about my past now and then and every
once in a while manage to shock her with something that she just happened not
to have heard before).  There were definitely two very different sets of
attitudes here, and she was (and still is to some extent) extremely
protective of me.  At first, she was extremely annoyed if I even looked at
anyone else out of the corner of my eye (let alone made regular
comments about them... and that goes for folks of either sex).

   Anyway, she went home for the summer, being a college student, and I
was mostly faithful (but not very), and I told her about the various incidents
in lurid detail.  I tried pretty hard to stay monogamous, but when a good
friend of mine comes over to help me fix my plumbing and asks me if I want
to fuck, it's rather difficult to turn them down.  Plus, there was the woman
whom I picked up in the supermarket checking out the fruit.

   Earlier this summer, I told her that I would try to be good, but that there
were some other people that I might want to sleep with.  She asked for an
example, and I told her that I'd really like to sleep with Karen.  She said
okay, maybe.

  Karen came to visit from out of state; she's an old friend who happens to
be married to a very nice young professor (whom my girlfriend STILL won't
let me sleep with... sigh) at a midwestern university.  I told my girlfriend
that she was coming and she said that it was okay, and that I could have
Karen as my birthday present.  (She did set some limitations that I still
don't understand; we weren't allowed to have sex on the bed or on the green
rug in the library).  And, I did so (and enjoyed it immensely, and didn't
do it on the bed or the green rug).

  After the end of the summer, my girlfriend came back.  I told her the
story in fairly lurid detail, and she said "Well, I guess I can't be all
that upset over your sleeping with Karen because I slept with someone from
work."  I burst out laughing, rolling around on the bed.  She had waited
two months to tell me this, so terrified that I would be angry at her.
(I was kind of upset that she didn't have a very good time, though).  I
can't imagine being so hypocritical as to be upset over something like
that, something that I was doing myself.  In fact, I'd kind of like to
encourage her to sleep with other people, because she does need the
experience somewhat.

  Anyway, that's the story of my first attempt at a monogamous relationship
in more years that I care to think about.  I don't know what happens in the
future; I certainly don't feel bad about anything although she seems very
confused herself.  But I love her anyway.
--scott