From: visions@yang.earlham.edu (R. Bach)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Cannon Fodder.
Date: 9 Apr 92 00:55:40 GMT
Article-I.D.: yang.1992Apr8.195540.16828
Organization: Earlham College Metallurgy Department


	Well, there have been a great many horrendous .sigs on the net, 
and while this isn't really a .sig, I feel that this ranks up there with 
the best of them.  It's a plan file for a certain person here at Earlham 
and, well, I'll let it speak for itself.  (Well, all right, I'll add my 
own comments, too.)

{Editorial Comments are in brackets, thus.}

For those of you so terminally insane that you really want to know:

{or wanted to find out his schedule, which isn't included...}

	I am Marc Seebass. My intersest include role-playing, 
        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^     ^^^^^^^^^
{Actually, after fingering    {My spell checker suggests the following words:
Marc Seebass' account, I        interstate, inverness, intersects,
expected to find out that he    incests, interests and intercepts}
was Edwin Snufflethorpe.}

science-fiction, Star Trek, Dr. Who, Dolphins, sailing, Scuba, Physics, 
Computers (particularly virtual reality), J.R.R.Tolken, Comic-books
					  ^^^^^^^^^^^^
					{Didn't he write The Hobbt?}
(particularly Spider-Man when he is writen well),  Tae Kwon-Do (I'm a 
first degree black belt), other martial arts, sex (ie. I hope to try it 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
{Technically, the term is 1st dan.         {You won't with lines like that.}    
And of course you only mention this
for information, not to boast about
your rank, right?}

sometime), and many other things. My vital statistics are as follows:

                                         +------------------------------------+
Race          : Gallifreyan              | Quotes:                            |
                ^^^^^^^^^^^
{Are you claiming to be a member of a minority ethnic group, i.e. Timelords, to
get into a school via affirmative action, or are you merely making a foolish
joke to demonstrate your knowledge of British science fiction?}

Height        : 6'4"                     | "I can fell it comming in the air  |
Weight        : 190                      |  tonight, oh Lord." -Phill Collins |

{You misspelled three words out of thirteen...if you try _really_ hard, maybe
you can misspell some others.  (Like I, it, the, in or oh...)  And Phill?  
Wasn't that in the _Muppets_Take_Manhattan_?  "Hello, Phill.  I'm Billl, and  
you know Gilll and Jilll." "Meat makes me illl, Gilll."}

Eyes          : Blue with a hint of gold |                                    | 
                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
   {Oh, how _nice_!  The Cub Scout colors!}

Hair          : Brown                    | "An open foe may prove a curse, but|
Vital Signs   : Still here               |  a pretended friend is worse."   |
                ^^^^^^^^^^                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^       
             {More's the pity.}             {So is this plan file...}

Marital status: very single (hint, hint) |                  -John Gay         |
		^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
	{HINT HINT?!?!?  See above, where I comment on sex.}

Address       :{personal information     |                                    |
Box #         : deleted to protect       | "Imagination is more impotant than |
Extention     : the guilty}              |  knowledge." -Albert Einstein      |

                                          {This is only a minor misspelling of
					   impotent, but I never knew Einstein
                                           said _that_...}

-----------------------------------------+-------------------------------------+

Ps. A Hoerner walls amplify sound.
{Note the subtle change from singular to plural to dramatize the struggle and
mental anguish of a student caught in a Hoerner psycho single.}

Well, let's see:

Plenty of Whitespace:	       		2.0
Tacky borders:				1.0
"Creative" spellings:	 7 @ .25ea	3.75
"Poetic" grammar:			0.5
Lack of information:
- no schedule				1.0
Converting planfile into
  typical alt.personals post		2.5
Misinformation:
- claiming to be a member 
  of a fictitious race			1.0
---------------------------------------------
SUBTOTAL				11.75
Plus a special award from the
Department of Redundancies
Department, for redundant interests.
(Science Fiction, Dr. Who, Star Trek)	+2.0
--------------------------------------------
TOTAL					13.75	


--
R. Murphy Stoneburner Wiget Bach, Earlham College Metallurgy Department
 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord