From: dauber@sgi.com (Jeff Dauber)
Newsgroups: alt.politics.homosexuality
Subject: Re: babies
Date: 6 Apr 92 18:24:52 GMT
Article-I.D.: fido.j7bnqcc
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

In article <1992Apr6.164502.12042@wam.umd.edu> aap@wam.umd.edu (Alberto Adolfo Pinkas) writes:

>>I don't think that you can come up with a reason...
>
>Actually I can.

we'll see ;-)

>There are certain processes in the formation of a child's personality that
>are related with a confrontation with her/his parents, and where the 
>gender of a parents plays a fundamental role.

Not true... I want to know why you think that this is true...  Showing that
it has happened in the past does not make it any more true.  

>A person's personality has three parts, and each plays an important role in
>his/her life. One of them is developed in a confrontation of the child
>with the parent of the same gender for the possession of the parent of the
>same gender.

> The child, in his/her mind, kills the parent of the same sex, in
>this imaginary confrontation.

Are you making this up?  This does not sound like the reality I dealt with
at all.  Nor is it the case of anyone I have asked.  Just by general polling,
I have found that everyone I know has had fights with their parents.  However,
some people only fight with their father, some only fight with their mother
and some fight with both.

I do not believe this, and unless you can come up with a reputable source,
I will have to take it as your own hypothesis.

> Then, he/she fells remorse, and the sense of
>guilt is formed in his mind. This is not a concient act. Then, the kid will
>have sense of right and wrong, of guilt when something wrong is done.


Oh please... This sounds sort of hairbrained to me.  I learned right vs
wrong from my parents.  Not by fighting with them, but by learning from
their example.

>Society, which is bassicaly repressive, will be based on that part of our
>personality.

American society is basically repressive.  All society is not repressive
in the same ways.

>Clearly, this is not an absolute act, and the lack of a same gender parent,
>for example, will modify the relation, bringing traumatic consecuences for 
>the person in his/her growing.

Do you have any evidence of this?  I know many children of homosexual
parents, from children less than a year old to people in their 20s.  None
of them show any signs of these "traumatic consequences".

>Another point is that the kid is living a double life.

Again, I think you are projecting.

> In school, for
>example, he/she is thaught about relations in some way that usually will
>take homosexuality as wrong.

They do not teach this in the schools. 

I will tell you what really happens.

The teachers say that parents require a man and a woman.  The child goes
home and says "mommy(s), this is what they taught me in school today."  
Parents go in to school, and lecture the administration.  The administration
changes it's tune and has the teacher explain why things are different.

These kids will then grow up knowing that homosexuals can be parents.

> Then, at home, he/she, will have a different
>picture. Peer pressure, and society's pressure, will keep the kid from 
>confronting this problem in a different way than a trumatic one.

Not at all... 


You are assuming that the parents and the child will be "closetted" about
the truth of the situation.  This is not how it works.  Most of these
parents will be open and honest with the child, from an early age.  This
will deter these sorts of problems.


You are assuming that the parents will behave like heterosexual parents.
However, they cannot and, therefore, do not.  They have to deal with the
fact that there are two mothers, or two fathers, long before the child
has to deal with society.  The child will be well equiped to deal with this
sort of situation when the time comes.

I am not speaking hypothetically either.  I know that this is how it happens,
having watched many homosexual parents raise children.

>For example, in my country, separation was legal but not to get marry again.
>But, most kids were growing up in houses where their parents could not get
>married because they were divorced already. This double standard creates a 
>big problem for the kids: What is right and what is wrong in society,
>what is legal and illegal.

However, in the country where you grew up, were the children prepared for 
this sort of thing from birth.  I suspect that this was traumatic to kids
for the same reason that divorce is always traumatic for kids.  They are
told by their parents (and everyone else) for their entire lives, that their
parents love each other.  When there is a divorce, it changes their entire 
world.

This does not parallel the situation with children of homosexual parents.
Their world was defined, since birth, in such a way that having parents
of the same gender was not an issue.  Therefore, when they reach an age
where society tells the otherwise, they will know that society is wrong.

Also, you are assuming that the children of homosexual parents know no other
children of homosexual parents.  Again, this is not true.  Therefore, when
society tells these children that people of the same gender cannot get
married and have children, they have a wealth of experience which tells
them that this is not the case.  




The other comment which is wrong from your logic is that society, as a whole,
condemns homosexuality.  This is just not true (take it from me, I have been
a homosexual in society for a long time now).  There are people out there who
condemn homosexuality, but for the most part, people just don't care one
way or the other.  It is the same sort of thing as the abortion argument,
the minority who feels that it is wrong is small, but very very vocal.




FWA
Newsgroups: alt.politics.homosexuality