HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: anon-1498@twwells.com (Sierra)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: goodbye to asar (PLEASE READ)
Date: 7 Jan 93 04:36:09 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Yeah, this is Sierra again.  I'm leaving asar.  Probably for good.  My father
(who is also my abuser) has discovered who I am even though I always post
anon and has been reading my posts.  I cannot be here any more.

You guys should all know that there is an abuser reading this group on a
regular basis.  I am very angry at him; it has been mentioned enough times
here that this is NOT a space for perps.  

Not only have I been hurt (again) but asar has also been violated.  I do not
consider this safe space any more.

I want to note that this is in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM anything to do with Bill
Wells or his anon service.

I'm very upset because the reason that I was posting anonymously (or one of
the main ones) was so that he wouldn't see.  Anybody who wants to write to
me about this please do it via email, because I won't be reading this group
any more.

I will miss all of you good people out there.

Dad, if you're reading this (and I'm sure you are), I hope it gives you some
idea of just how inappropriate your actions were.

Sierra



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From: byersla@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: I Need Info. for Paper!!
Date: 12 Jan 93 19:14:33 CST
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

 To whom it may concern,

	I am in a Health Education class and we are supposed to be
doing a research paper.  My topic is on child abuse/battered children;
I was hoping that somebody could please inform me about legal aspects
(& other helpful information) of this sensitive subject.  I will be
very grateful for any SERIOUS information!!

	                 Thanks,
	                    Laura A. Byers
From: doug@cdc.hp.com (Doug Sojourner)
Subject: Re: Daddy's Home (a poem)
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 19:38:09 GMT
Reply-To: dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
Organization: HP California Design Center, Santa Clara, CA
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.4 PL7]

Thanks for sharing your poem with us.  I liked it.

Doug Sojourner

dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
anon-1158@twwells.com
an651@anon.penet.fi
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: warton@ssd.intel.com (Peter Warton)
Subject: Re: confrontations
Organization: Supercomputer Systems Division (SSD), Intel
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 23:26:13 GMT

In article <C0I7uz.tH@twwells.com> anon-1540@twwells.com writes:
>ANON-name: Hillary
>
>I'll try to keep this short and to the point.  This is my first time 
>posting although I've been reading for a while now.  I have a question
>about confronting your abuser(s).  Everything I have read and been 
>told in a 12-step support group I am member of tells me that I MUST
>confront my abuser (my father and, indirectly, my mother) in order to 
>begin to put the pieces of my life back together.  

......................[Deleted for bandwidth]............................

	Hello Hillary and welcome.  I'm glad you posted.  I have experience
confronting both of my abusers (in my case my parents), actually, I have
confronted them several times because they keep acting as if there is nothing
wrong.  So on confrontation::  I do not believe it necessary.  At times I think
that I should have/should just let my parents live in their own world.  At
other times I feel that I must make them know that at least to me they are
accountable.  So I guess it is an individual thing, if *you* feel like you must
confront them to get on in your recovery, then that is probably what you need
to do.  But if you feel you must confront them because *others* say you must
to move on in your recovery, perhaps it isn't the right time.  As others have
said here, it may never be the right time, and it's ok not to confront abusers.

	In the two instances that I confronted my parents directly, I ended 
up being re-traumatized and going back (somewhat) into the role I played as 
a child, that is, a victim.  It was very painful, and afterwards I felt
very frustrated and angry because I could not be heard by them.  The only
reason I did confront them was that I felt I could not live knowing that I
was allowing the lying continue.  It was for me.  I had to do it.

	So, based on my experience, plus a lot of what I have read, it is
may not be vital to confront your abusers.  If it feels really unsafe, the
chances are high that is *is* very unsafe.  What I'm saying boils down to 
trusting your feelings to tell you when and if you need to confront your
abusers.  I hope there is something helpful among my ramblings...

	I want to add that I'm sorry that you had to go through your abuse,
and I support you in your recovery from that abuse.  May you find the peace
you deserve.

Peace,
Peter
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Warton (The h was dropped     | Against my better judgement (not to
over 800 years ago)		    | mention the advice of my friends) I
warton@ssd.intel.com		    | speak for myself.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu (Nancy Lebovitz)
Subject: Re: Recurring nightmares
Organization: UDel, School of Life & Health Sciences
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 16:39:29 GMT

In article <C0AxzI.HA6@twwells.com> anon-1534@twwells.com (Suzanna) writes:
>
>Is it allowable for me to post here? I'm sorry, I don't want to do

Certainly.

>anything wrong. I just have a question. I hope it isn't stupid or
>frequently asked. How can I stop myself having recurring nightmares?
>Normally I can change my dreams as I dream them, but with these I
>can't seem to. Is there anything I can do, without going outside, to
>change this? I read the FAQ, but I don't wake up until after the dream
>is finished, and then it's too late.

Here are a couple of guesses....One would be to imagine the dream while
you're awake, and choose better outcomes then.

This other one would probably stir up a lot of pain, but might be useful.
See if the dream reminds you of any memories. Feel what was going on then.
If all your feelings want is to be felt, then feeling them directly means
that you don't have to have nightmares to feel them. (This is based on
Janov's Primal Scream stuff as I understand it--I tried it and stirred up
more pain than I was willing to handle.)

You might want to check _Urban Shaman_ by Serge Kahili King--it's very
a very strong but not self-destructive approach to internal states. 
>
>One more thing, please. I do not want to intrude. What do people do in
>their lives? Recently I have been asked to attend some social
>functions, and I did go to one, and people there talked about all the
>things they did. Is it wrong that I just go to work, go to university
>and stay at home and read or just think? This is what I've always
>done, but people don't think I should.

This just means that you're hanging out with people who don't suit you.
Try rec.arts.books or science fiction conventions. Also, some people just
need more alone time than others, and the more social sorts tend not to
understand this.

Reading is life!  :-)

Read any good books lately?  I recommend _Moonwise_ by Greer Ilene Gilman--
it's in a very difficult style, but once I fought my way into the writing,
I found that it worked magnificently well emotionally.

>Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors.

If you quit apologizing, I'll forgive you.

Nancy Lebovitz

L
From: lmann@vineland.pubs.stratus.com (Laurie Mann)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Wallow
Date: 7 Jan 1993 13:42:57 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer Inc, Marlboro MA
Reply-To: lmann@vineland.pubs.stratus.com
NNTP-Posting-Host: ansible.pubs.stratus.com

Dziga writes
>I am wondering if I am brave enough to post this.  I am.

Great!  Welcome!!

>I also want to lose weight.  I read that many women who were sexually
>abused as girls experience eating disorders and weight gain.  I have
>to admit that I am fat.  Do I have to learn to love myself before I
>can lose the weight?  I want to hear someone else's opinion about
>this. I think appearances are very important.

I think society's over interest in appearances is bull.  I am fat and I know  
you can like yourself, be a good person and still be fat.  Appearances
shouldn't matter---the type of person you are SHOULD.  I'd argue it
in the other direction---you have to like yourself INDEPENDENT of your
size.  If you like yourself ONLY because of your size, then something
is wrong.

*  In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak *
*  because I wasn't a Communist.  Then they came for the Jews, and I *
*  didn't speak because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade *
* unionists, and I didn't speak because I wasn't a trade unionist... *
*Then they came for me--and by that time no one was left to speak up.*
*  Rev. Martin Niemoeller     [Why to March on Washington in April]  *
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: does anyone out there know about hypno-therapy?
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 19:38:16 GMT

Amy R Phillips (v039eag3@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu) wrote:

:     I have been seeing a doctor for a while and now she wants to send 
:     me to someone else for a try at hypnosis.  One of my biggest problems
:     in therapy has been my lack of remembering something "concrete".
: 
:     I would greatly appreciate any information any of you had about this.
:     For some reason, the whole iudea seems to terrify me.
: 
:     thanks in advance for any e-mail help
: 
:     courage to all....

There is a short piece in the FAQ about hypnosis (written by Taylor Mohrle
and myself) that should clear up any misconceptions or fears you might have
regarding hypnosis - or at least, that's what it's *supposed* to do.  :)

Hope it helps - I'd send it to you, but I don't have a copy at my electronic
fingertips.
-- 
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177
1935 will go down in history.  For the first time, a civilized nation has
full gun registration.  Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient,
and the world will follow our lead into the future.  --Adolf Hitler
From: anon.647@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Only a test...
Date: 12 Jan 1993 07:35:56 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.647@pax.tpa.com.au
NNTP-Posting-Host: flash.pax.tpa.com.au


   
   Hope this works....


--
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From: werner@dewey.soe.berkeley.edu (John Werner)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Recurring nightmares
Date: 5 Jan 1993 19:58:39 GMT
Organization: School of Education, U.C. Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: dewey.soe.berkeley.edu

In article <C0BAMI.J0t@twwells.com> anon-1534@twwells.com (Suzanna) writes:
>Again, a problem for me. I think it would be good for me to meet
>people, but I do not feel comfortable doing so, and I have never been
>good in such situations.  [....]  Yet I realise now that I
>am lonely, and need to talk.

I'm sort of in the same situation.  I started seeing a therapist a few
months ago for depression.  A lot of the depression seems to be caused
by loneliness, which is caused by being incredibly shy and
uncomfortable around people, especially in social situations.  Maybe
this was caused by emotional starvation as a child (I told my
therapist I was "raised by robots.") but I'm not really sure yet.

I don't have much useful advice, though.  What people usually tell me
is "get out and do things" or "join some clubs" or whatever.  The
depression and shyness keep me from being motivated or adventurous to
do that kind of thing, and when people tell me to it usually just
makes me feel like everything is my fault.

It probably comes down to whether you're lonely, unhappy, and/or
depressed enough to spend all the time, money, and emotional anguish
on therapy or its equivalent.  I decided I was.  I haven't seen a lot
of progress yet, but I'm still sort of hopeful (rationally, anyway, if
not emotionally.)


-- 
John Werner                        werner@soe.berkeley.edu
UC Berkeley School of Education
From: anon.33@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: stuffed bears
Date: 12 Jan 1993 09:02:00 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.33@pax.tpa.com.au
NNTP-Posting-Host: flash.pax.tpa.com.au



>It may seem ridiculous to have a stuffed bear to protect you, but I
>can prove that it works.  Ever since Mister Bear and I have had one
>another, no one has ever bothered me again.  He is a good friend.
>
>Affectionately,
>
>Dziga

it is not ridiculous 
it is beautiful and rare
and i am glad you have found Mister Bear
and asar
welcome to you

poohbear, who knows very well the secrets and power stuffed bears have


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From: nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu (Nancy Lebovitz)
Subject: Re: more on cutting, a suggestion
Organization: UDel, School of Life & Health Sciences
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 17:34:45 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.155558.18683@genie.slhs.udel.edu> nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu (Nancy Lebovitz) writes:
>In article <1i3422INNhu0@shelley.u.washington.edu> cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell) writes:
>>anon-1259@twwells.com (Kate) writes:
>>
>>[ digression deleted ]
>>
>>>So I wanna know, what do i do now about all the scars on my arms and legs
>>>that everyone asks about.  Sheesh.  And i have marks on my wrists too that
>>>look like i tried to kill myself, but really they are just cutting.  I never
>>>tried suicide by slitting my wrists,still it looks that way.
>>
>>well, you could try the alternative approach to shame: pride.  not pride in
>>having cut yourself, but pride in having survived the pain deep enough to make
>>you cause those scars.  wear them like merit badges.  you've been through the
>>horror, you've survived.  that to me is something to be very proud of.
>>

[Excuse me--it looks as though entropy struck my message in the middle]

>I've noticed that the standard of How a Body Ought to Look in this culture
>seem to be Look as Though Nothing's Ever Happened to You. This may not be
>
the most reasonable standard for people living in an entropic universe. 

>Nancy Lebovitz
>
Nancy Lebovitz
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: an5055@anon.penet.fi (Dziga)
Subject: Wallow
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 03:29:01 GMT



I am wondering if I am brave enough to post this.  I am.


I thought I was getting over it.  I don't think I ever will.  My
mother doesn't know.  I will tell her.  This is my public statement of
my New Year's Resolution.  I swear I will tell her when I see her
next.  

I also want to lose weight.  I read that many women who were sexually
abused as girls experience eating disorders and weight gain.  I have
to admit that I am fat.  Do I have to learn to love myself before I
can lose the weight?  I want to hear someone else's opinion about
this. I think appearances are very important.  


Next time I will post something better.  I'll tell a story about
Mister Bear.  I read in the FAQ that having a protector is a good
idea.  Mister Bear is my protector.


Dziga, the new girl on the group
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From: anon-1539@twwells.com (LBB)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Daddy's Home (a poem)
Date: 7 Jan 93 04:35:40 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes




		Daddy's Home

Daddy strode into his home
lookin' for that reclinin' throne
while he's lookin' roun' the place
where's that boy who'd rather play with lace
than fight the others down the block
that kid, the one whose no football jock

How'd he get ta' be a kid'o'mine
when he'd avoid a fight and whine
I think I'll show him how ta' fight
And if he don't I'll set him right

I'll not have a son'o'mine
who'd rather dance than play baseball
football or any other game'o'Mine
A son who'll read 'afore goin' outside

So Daddy's puttin' the world to rights
And sonny's tryin' to out his own lights
Forever wond'rin' how he could be
So wrong, so broken, so faulty

So far from a son he oughta' be
wond'rin' why don't daddy love me
Now I'm still tryin' to be
That boy my daddy wanted from me,
even though I know he's always wrong
His ideas still hold on too strong

3 Dec 92
LBB

ANON-Name: LBB

ANON-Ping: yes
ANON-Mail: yes
ANON-Announce: yes



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From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: does anyone out there know about hypno-therapy?
Date: 9 Jan 93 22:43:19 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: stein.u.washington.edu

erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:

>Amy R Phillips (v039eag3@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu) wrote:

>:     I have been seeing a doctor for a while and now she wants to send 
>:     me to someone else for a try at hypnosis.  One of my biggest problems
>:     in therapy has been my lack of remembering something "concrete".
>: 
>:     I would greatly appreciate any information any of you had about this.
>:     For some reason, the whole iudea seems to terrify me.
>: 
>:     thanks in advance for any e-mail help
>: 
>:     courage to all....

>There is a short piece in the FAQ about hypnosis (written by Taylor Mohrle
>and myself) that should clear up any misconceptions or fears you might have
>regarding hypnosis - or at least, that's what it's *supposed* to do.  :)

>Hope it helps - I'd send it to you, but I don't have a copy at my electronic
>fingertips.

the faq list will be posted again on the 15th of the month.  if you are in a
hurry to get it, you can get it by anonymous ftp from ftp.u.washington.edu in
the directory public/asar.  if you do not have anonymous ftp access, send me
mail and i'll send you the faq.
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
From: cryst@belay.uucp (Crystal Bell)
Subject: On the road to recovery!!!!!
Organization: Belay Enterprises Inc. Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 03:22:26 GMT


 HI!!!! wow, I never thought that I would figure this out myself..
Kinda makes ya wonder... 

anyhow to get to the point before the bloody system boots me off.... I have
FINALLY figured out why I am the sl*t that I am.. (sorta joking   but not
really)    I figured out something tonight.. The reason I am a sl*t is because
I found at a young age that the only way to get attention was through sex... 
With every man I've ever been with the ONLY way I could get attention is through sex.. in some way shape or form.. unfortunately I'm gonna get 
booted soon so I should go now.. i just thought that I would share that with
you...

Crystal

E-HUGGS for whoever wants them...


-- 
############################################################################**
Crystal Bell                     * If you don't like my opinions that's
E-mail Cryst%belay@uunet.uu.net  * your problem. Please keep ALL flames
                                 * to private E-mail. thanx
From: GC.TLR@forsythe.stanford.edu (The Usual Suspect)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: 'Satanic Ritual Abuse' in the media
Date: 9 Jan 1993 21:07:29 -0800
Organization: Stanford University
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: morrow.stanford.edu

In article <9JAN199319341364@skyblu.ccit.arizona.edu>,
lippard@skyblu.ccit.arizona.edu (James J. Lippard) writes:
>In article <1inm0nINNs4b@shelley.u.washington.edu>, cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell) writes...
>>mjw@mailbox.eng.ufl.edu (Mike Wohlgemuth) writes:
>>
>>>kadie@cs.uiuc.edu (Carl M. Kadie) writes:
>>
>>>>                                                  (Some of the
>>>>psychotherapists claim that tens or even hundreds of thousands of
>>>>ritual murders are involved.)
>>
>>>I've seen people claim that between 50,000 and 2,000,000 ritual murders
>>>take place every year in the U.S.  Now let's see:
>>
>>>50,000 murders / 365 days a year / 50 states = 2.74 ritual murders per
>>>day in each state.
>>
>>>I think not.
>>
>How many women of child-bearing age are members of these cults?  How many
>of them are pregnant at any one time?  How many children do each of them
>have?  Answer these questions, and see if you still think that "2.74/day
>doesn't seem like an overly high number to me."
>
HHHmmmmm.....

50,000 per year,
California (hot bed of weirdness) =10% of U.S. population= 5,000 murders

or almost exactly 14 per day.

Requiring, a revolving population of fertile females of 5,000, all willing

to relinquish their offspring and keep quiet about it.

I do not doubt that there are people who are abused, tortured, and not
improbably, killed, as there seems to be no depth to which humanity
will not sink to make others regret having been born into the species,
but the sensationalism surrounding these "expose's" often detracts from
the reality that surrounds many abused people. The truth is often so
mundane- in the truly grey awfulness of evil, that it doesn't "make
good television". The problem being that there are probably those out
there who say to themselves..."well at least I am not a Satan worshipper"
that may allow them to justify their abuses. Maybe, maybe not..

Peace to you all...

Terrance