From: cheung@strider.hw.stratus.com
Newsgroups: soc.culture.hongkong
Subject: One Joke A Day, No More Girls Say No Way
Date: 17 Dec 92 13:39:49 GMT
Organization: Cheung's Funky Shop, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: strider.hw.stratus.com

Funky Cheung was tempted to get into this political fray.  But on a second
thought, there have been already so much bickerings in this news group, why 
should he pour even more oil onto this flame.

How about some light topics?  Following is a list of lessons Funky Cheung 
learned from his beloved teacher, Dr. Murphy.

By the way, did anyone use Funky Cheung's Thanksgiving jokes on Thanksgiving 
parties?  How did it go?  "Slap, slap"?  Here is a whole bunch you can use to 
be the star in your New Year's party.

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        1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is 
        to leave her with no hard feelings.

        2. Nothing improves with age.

        3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, 
        because it'll never be quite the same again.

        4. Sex has no calories.

        5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount 
        of trouble.

        6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

        7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think 
        you've got.

        8. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops 
        listening to him.

        9. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

        10. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the 
        same ones she can't stand years later.

        11. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

        12. It is always the wrong time of month.

        13. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

        14. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you 
        won't either.

        15. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for 
        crop failure.

        16. The younger the better.

        17. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that 
        caused the trouble in the garden.

        18. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

        19. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot 
        of frogs.

        20. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse 
        than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

        21. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

        22. Love is a hole in the heart.

        23. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

        24. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned 
        four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

        25. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

        26. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at 
        all.

        27. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

        28. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

        29. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.

        30. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the 
        women he couldn't.

        31. Never say no.

        32. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

        33. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

        34. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.

        35. The world does not revolve on an axis.

        36. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they 
        fall in love.

        37. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

        38. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

        39. "This won't hurt, I promise."

-- 
From: yuk@hpopd.pwd.hp.com (Yuk Lun Chan)
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 10:49:43 GMT
Subject: Re: Rights vs Mercy (Was: My dismay (Chris Patten))
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, CCSY Messaging Centre, UK.