From: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA (Andreas  Tovornik)
Subject: Re: Are you a Young Transplant?
Reply-To: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA
Organization: University of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 07:57:19 GMT

In article 74341@apple.apple.COM, stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder) writes:
>
>>how many of you
>>reading this are recent college grads that have accepted that High
>>Paying Job that you went to school for in the first place that is
>>located somewhere other than where you were either (a)raised,
>>(b)schooled, or (c)would like to be?  Have you become involved with
>>someone that you met since you moved to said location?  
>
>I spent my first four years after school living somewhere that I didn't
>really feel was my home. Although I managed to develop a social network 
>there, I was pretty much unremittantly single the whole time. After
>I moved somewhere where I felt at home, my love life and my social life in
>general improved dramatically.
>
>The point of this is, unless you really love your job, don't stay somewhere
>you don't like, any longer than necessary. It can affect you in subtle ways.
>For example, I'm convinced that if you don't like where you live, it can be
>harder to get involved with someone because you may subconsciously have one
>foot already out the door, and may be trying to avoid the possibility of 
>being tied down to that place. 

Too true. The place where you live affects your attitude. I lived in and around
a scummy city for most of my life. Every time I went away looking for work
and living in places like Labrador or Northern Quebec(Cree territory...COOL!)
I felt as if I was waking up out of a long sleep. Moving west was the best
decision of my life!!! :+)

>>How did you
>>meet, seeing as how you were in a new area where you had no friends?
>
>The first place I lived, I met most of my friends at work, and through them 
>eventually met other people. I also met some folks by following up on a
>a flyer I saw in a bookstore seeking people for an activity I was curious about.
>
>When I first moved to the Bay Area, I made most of my friends by 
>taking classes and workshops that interested me and following up on
>contacts made there. I also made friends by getting to know a couple 
>of folks who were 'social hubs,' who had lots of people around them all 
>the time and who liked helping their friends get to know each other.

Yeah, socializing is easier in new surroundings, *grin!*

>One of these folks also introduced me to the net, which I've found is a 
>great way to make friends...although if you're not in an area where lots of 
>folks have net access it's probably not the same.

You can say that again. :+(

>The abstract is: engage your curiosity and follow up on things that
>interest you or that you like. If you don't have a lot of friends to keep
>you busy, then maybe it's a good opportunity for you to take some workshops
>or explore some activities that you've never had time for. That will
>probably lead to additional contacts if you make an effort. For example, if
>it's a music class, you can get folks together outside of class for
>practice sessions. Also, talk to people whereever you can, and follow up 
>on their suggestions for activities.

There was a beggar in the street asking passersby for some coin this morning.
I flipped him a quarter and had a great 15-minute chat. Noticing the little
unexpected things always makes life more worth living, IMO. :+)

>--
>Stef                   I may look calm, but beneath this cool exterior 
>stef@apple.com         is a churning iceberg ready to explode.
>                                         --Mixed metaphor hall of fame

dreas                   See the screw slowly turn around,
                        See it sink in without a sound.    --Curved Air