From: cbe@unlinfo.unl.edu (cbe)
Subject: Re: the kiss
Organization: University of Nebraska - Lincoln
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 15:35:03 GMT

stevenz@milori.ccit.arizona.edu writes:

>In article <1992Aug10.214900.10188@osf.org>, coren@osf.org (Robert Coren) writes:
>> I wonder if this, as well as the magic that some of us (me too!) feel
>> associated with male-male kissing, comes from the fact that kissing is
>> an act that people can and do perform in public, but that *men*
>> kissing in public is a relatively rare event in modern Western
>> society, and can in fact be dangerous if we're careless about time and
>> place.

>I mentioned at a discussion group here some time ago that it surprised
>me that I was surprised by seeing two men kissing at a gay bar.  I
>mean, all of a sudden I just had this nagging feeling that I shouldn't
>be surprised, but I kinda was.  I felt like I shouldn't really have
>taken note of it at all, but there it was.

>One of the other discussants suggested that we see it so rarely, even
>in more gay-positive environments, and never see it in the media or in
>public public.  Talk turned to overt displays like the lesbian who
>spent the night at a hotel with her lover.  When one double bed was
>thoroughly messed up and soggy from the evening's activities, they
>decided to sleep in the other bed.  In the morning they made up one of
>the beds so that the chambermaid wouldn't assume they slept in
>different beds just because they were women.

>(-; Come to think of it, I have several times of late done a good deed
>or two wrt desensitizing other people to male-male kissing in public

After a recent visit to my family, it was decided that my nephew would
take me to the airport on my departure.  This young man has always 
regarded me as his favorite uncle and confidant.  During this last 
visit he had had quite a few concerns and we had spent a good deal of 
time together.  Of course, what I was best at was being a sympathetic 
listener, but, for him, that was a godsend.  Anyway, the time we had 
together was good and sometimes quite emotional.  He has a lot of 
things to work out vis a vis his parents.  Norm is a quite open guy 
and can be demonstrative.  He is quite naturally and somehow 
tastefully affectionate toward his girlfriends.  As usual, just before
boarding, my young teuton and I will indulge in a quite bearish hug, 
which we did.  But I was surprised to find my soccer star give me a 
full mouth kiss.  Not sexual, of course, but nephewlial (mine was 
avuncular, but what was his?).  With watery eye he departed and I 
turned to the gate.

A middle-aged dowager standing nearby had witnessed the whole thing.  
She put her hand on my arm and said, "That was the most loving and 
tender thing.  It made my day."  Her comment had more or less made me 
happy too until I realized she thought she had seen a paternal/filial 
exchange of affection.  But her comment implied even the rarity of 
that manifestation, public or perhaps otherwise, of caring and love, 
which in my family, at least, has always been an expected and natural 
expression of affection between father and son.  After arriving at 
this conclusion, I was depressed.

Colburn Eigen                          H|u> = E|u>

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