From: nieboer@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Stinky Wizzleteats)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.ren-n-stimpy
Subject: Re: Random Quotes (repost with 's removed...happy now?)
Keywords: quotes
Date: 21 Jan 93 23:05:48 GMT
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder


(Just as a matter of interest, to those who posted telling me how
	to get rid of the >'s:
1. The first one worked, the second one didn't, so one of you's not as 
clever as you think;
2. WHY DIDN'T YOU DO IT YOURSELVES??? Sheesh.) 

   "What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
    rolls over your neighbor's dog?
    What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
    It's Log, Log, Log!

    It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
    It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
    Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
    Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"

	--- The Log Theme

@

    "I do hereby promise only to watch the Ren & Stimpy show,
    to make underleg noises during the good scenes,
    to wear unwashed lederhosen every single day of
    the rest of my life."

	--- The Ren and Stimpy Fan Club Oath

@

     "No sleep!  No Bed!
      No no no!
      Bed bed bed!"

	--- Ren Hoek, "In the Army"

@

    "I do solemnly swear by the sacred bedpan to fix the patient,
    and ease his wretched suffering, even until all hope is lost."

	--- Nurse Stimpy's Oath

@

    "Who's the greatest mudskipper of them all?
    Who can skip in the mud with the greatest of ease?
    What kind of wonderful guy?

    Who can crawl like a dog without scraping his knees?
    Who's got segmented eyes?

    It's Muddy Mudskipper, it's Muddy Mudskipper
    It's the Muddy Mudskipper show!"

    	---The Muddy Mudskipper theme song
@

    Gritty Kitty ain't so pretty, but it's really thick
    It fills my cat box oh so snug, it always does the trick
    I like to rub it on my toes and squish and squish and squish
    It ne'er offends my tender nose, like a smelly fish
    Its texture is a joy to me, it's just as smooth as silk
    It makes my little whiskers twitch, it stays crunchy even in milk
    I may not be the president, I may not be the pope
    But as long as I have Gritty Kitty, I shall never mope.

	    --- Stimpy's "Gritty Kitty" poem

@

    Hello, boys and girls. This is your old pal, Stinky Wizzleteats. 
    This is a song about a whale. No! This is a song about being happy!
    That's right! It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!

    [chorus]
    Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
    Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
    Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
    Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!

    I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll teach you to
    be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and
    girls, let's try it again!

    [chorus]

    If'n you aint the grandaddy of all liars! The little critters of
    nature--- They don't know that they're ugly! That's very funny, a
    fly marrying a bumblebee! I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't
    believe me! Why didn't you believe me?!

    [chorus without last line]
    Happy Happy Happy Happy
    Happy Happy Happy Happy
    Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!


    --- The "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song
@

    "Good night, Stimpy. Now all I need is eight hours of
    uninterrupted sleep."

	--- Ren Hoek, "In the Army"
@

    "Psst. Hey Guido. It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper
    of the cheese. And you're the lemon merchant. Get it? And he
    knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we gotta beat it.
    Yeah. Before he lets loose the marmosets on us! Don't worry,
    little missy! I'll save you!"

	--- Ren Hoek, "In the Army"

@

    OOOOhhh, Lord loves a hangin', that's why he give us necks
    It tightens up our vocal chords, and loosens up our pecs.
    So if you are a horse thief and guilty to the bone,
    Go ahead and blame a friend and you won't hang alone!

    It may be hard to swaller, but you'll be three feet taller,
    And find new ways to entertain your friends.
    You say you are a villian, but can't abide by killin',
    Go ahead and steal yourself a horse.

    Two three eleven or five seven [take it, boys].
    I'm a pickin' and I'm a swingin'!
    I'm ignorant, and I'm ugly!
    That you are, boys.

    OOOOhhh, The Lord loves a hangin', and so do we by heck!
    So go and get a lasso and decorate your neck!
    Oh we is awful ignorant and uglier than sin,
    so go ahead and cut us down--- And hang us all again!
    
    Hangin', that is. Swing a spell.

    --- The Hangin' Song in "Out West"

@

    "---I'll just lie back and think pleasant thoughts.
    Chicken pot pie--- Chocolate covered RAIsins---
    Glazed Hammmmm--- They think I'm crazy--- But I
    know better--- It is not I who am crazy--- It is
    I who am MAD!--- Didn't you hear 'em? Didn't you
    see the crowds?!! Oh my beloved ice cream bar---
    How I love to lick your creamy center--- eeyaaarghruch---
    eeyaarghrunch--- eeyaarghrunch--- And your oh-so-nutty
    chocolate covering--- You're not like the others---
    You like the same things I do--- Wax paper---
    Boiled football leather--- Dog breath--- WE'RE NOT
    HITCHIKING ANYMORE--- WE'RE RIDING---"

	--- Ren Hoek, "Space Madness"

@

    "Oh no--- I know what you want--- 
     You coveteth my ice cream bar!"

	--- Ren Hoek, "Space Madness"

@

    "No you don't! You can't take it from me now!
    I have had this ice cream bar since I was a child---
    People--- Always trying to take it from me--- Why won't they
    leave me ALONE?!!!"

	--- Ren Hoek, "Space Madness"

@

    "Back off man!!!--- Don't make me use this--- One
    step closer, I'm warning ya--- Don't make me use it!
    Now you've done it! You--- forced me to use it!!!---"

	---Ren Hoek, "Space Madness"
@

     "You sick little monkey! Don't you know cartoons will
     ruin your mind?"

	---Ren Hoek, "Stimpy's Big Day"

@

   "I'm hurting!"  
	--- Ren Hoek, "Space Madness"

@

  "And do you know what's inside?  A priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiize!" 

	--- Stimpy

@

  "You gave away ... FORTY-SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS?" 
	
	--- Ren Hoek to Stimpy

@

  "Hey kids, start jumping up and down like idiots!"

	--- The Log Promo

@

  "Momma always liked you best!!!

	--- Ren Hoek to Stimpy, "The Baby Scam"

@

  "Happy Happy Joy Joy!" 

        --- Stimpy, Space Madness and Marooned

@

  "No sir, I don't like it." 

	--- Mr. Horse (in "The Big Shot")

   "No sir, I didn't like it."

	--- Mr. Horse (in "Fire Dogs")

@

  "See this button? DON'T TOUCH IT!! It's the history eraser button you fool!!" 
	--- Ren

@

  "Stimpy!  Move your butt!  It's a higher mammal!"  

	--- Ren

@

  "Ohhhhh Reeeennnnn....are you feeling any better?" 

	--- Stimpy

@

  "The tranquilizer!  Use the tranquilizer, man!" 

	--- Ren

@

  "Could you spare a cup of protoplasm?  Huh?"

	--- Alien babe illusion

@

  "Do you have to keep tapping like that?  You bloated sack of protoplasm!"

	--- Cmdr. Hoek

@

  "Silly me.  I had a whole pocketful of change all along! How ironic!"

	--- Stimpy

@

  "You could Martinize your shorts!  Spackle the den!" 

	--- Ren

@

  "Hey buddy where's your tag?!?!?!" 

	--- Ren

@

  "Stimpy, what's that on your tongue? KACHUNK<" 

	--- Ren

@

  "This thing makes the coolest noises!" 

	--- Cadet Stimpy

@

  "Maaaaybe something bad, Maaaybe something good." 

	--- Cmdr. Hoek

@

  "See?!? I'm the cat!" 

	--- Ren Hoek

@

  "Ever breathe oxygen kid? Good, don't start.  Me, I'm hooked. Get it?"

	--- Muddy Mudskipper

@

   "See how I LOVE to clean FEEEELTHY CATBOXES!!!!"  

	--- Ren
    
    "So....happy....ironing...for Steempy!!!"

	--- Ren, "Stimpy's Invention"

-- 
 "Oh well...no use crying over spilled mitochondria." Ren Hoek
 "See how I love to clean feeelthy catboxes!!" Ren Hoek
 "Watch again as we show you just how disgusting the inside of
  someone's mouth can be!" Marlon Hoek |nieboer@ucsu.colorado.edu
-- 
 "Oh well...no use crying over spilled mitochondria." Ren Hoek
 "See how I love to clean feeelthy catboxes!!" Ren Hoek
 "Watch again as we show you just how disgusting the inside of
  someone's mouth can be!" Marlon Hoek |nieboer@ucsu.colorado.edu