From: rhaller@ns.uoregon.edu (Rich Haller)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks
Subject: Repost: 12 days of Christmas
Followup-To: alt.tv.twin-peaks
Date: 23 Dec 1992 18:07:19 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: rhaller.cc.uoregon.edu

Thought some of you might enjoy this. Wish I had posted it a little
earlier, but better late than never. This was originally posted by
6600koga@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu (Jeffrey Koga) who credits an unnamed friend for
sending a tape to him. I believe this originally appeared on radio in the
LA area.

"THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS", "^TWIN PEAKS^" STYLE

Featuring (in order of appearance):
  Jack Nance (Pete Martell)
  Dana Ashbrook (Bobby Briggs)
  Frank Silva (BOB)
  Kyle MacLaughlin (FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper)
  Kimmy Robertson (Lucy Moran)

Lyrics:

  Pete: "On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love
         gave to me: A body, DEAD, wrapped in
         plastic."

  Bobby: "On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love
          gave to me: Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plasic."

  BOB: "On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love
        gave to me: THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Cooper: "Diane, on the 4th day of Christmas, my
           true love gave to me: Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Lucy: "On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love
         gave to me: Five jelly donuts!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  BOB: "On the 6th day of Christmas..."
  Pete: "...my sweetheart gave to me: Six fish in a
         percolator."
  Lucy: "Five jelly donuts!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Bobby: "On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love
          gave to me: Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy (or someone, in an operatic singing voice):
        "Five jelly donuts!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!" 
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Cooper: "Diane, on the 8th day of Christmas, I had
           a strange dream: Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy: "Five, uh!  F-five jelly donuts!  Sorry,
         oops!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  BOB: "On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love
        gave to me: NINE OWLS LURKING!"
  Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy (sounding really p.o.'ed):
        "FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Bobby: "On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love
          gave to me: Ten drooling Leos."
  BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!"
  Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy (sounding really p.o.'ed):
        "FIVE, JELLY, DONUTS!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Lucy: "On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love
         gave to me: Eleven cherry pies."
  Bobby: "Ten drooling Leos."
  BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!"
  Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy: "Five jelly donuts!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS!"
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic."

  Pete (in a rousing voice):
        "On the 12th day of Christmas, my sweetheart
         gave to me: Twelve cups of coffee."
  Lucy: "Eleven cherry pies."
  Bobby: "Ten drooling Leos."
  BOB: "NINE OWLS LURKING!"
  Cooper: "Eight dancing midgets."
  Bobby: "Seven one-armed men."
  Pete: "Six fish in a percolator."
  Lucy: "Five dozen donuts.  What?!"
  Cooper: "Four talking logs."
  BOB: "THREE POSSESSED SOULS."
  Bobby: "Two secret diaries."
  Pete: "And a body, DEAD, wrapped in plastic." 

Have a great Christmas, Hanakkah, Solstice, et cetera!

-Rich Haller <rhaller@ns.uoregon.edu>   University of Oregon, Eugene, OR,
USA
Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks