From: ecovingt@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Maiko Covington)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.japan
Subject: Re: Not a Myth at All
Date: 21 Dec 92 21:47:40 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego


	About my situation.. hmmm. I wasn't born in Japan, I moved
there as a kid, but I could speak Japanese. I didn't learn to read
though until I went to junior high school. However...
	I must say I didn't really run into problems with people
treating me strangely. People would speak to me in Japanese, even if
I didn't say anything first. At the time I didn't think anything was
unusual about this at all. Now that I have come here and heard many
other people's experience, I wonder why this was. I even had people
making fun of me because I was illiterate and "stupid". This also
kinda surprises me because it seems that they somehow were expecting
me to be able to read, which is quite contrary to a lot of people's
experiences here on the net, and to some of my experiences at the
various bookstores of LA. ^_^ Thinking about it, I wonder if it
could have to do with the fact that growing up there I got Japanese
body language. I still have people come up to me and think that I am
half Japanese, or tell me that I seem Japanese to them, when
(believe me!) I don't look ANYTHING Japanese. Maybe I could pass for
half, but even that (IMHO) is iffy. I am white, with mousy brown
hair and green eyes. Being concious of the fact that I have body
language different from other people (here) I sometimes have made a
concious effort to try and fix it, but it is very hard to do. I
suppose some things you learn as a kid will just stick around
forever. Yes, people laugh at me for bowing while I'm on the phone,
even when speaking English. (Heh heh heh... I bet some of you other
people living in Japan have started to do this too. ^_^)
	Anyway... although my race is clearly Caucasian, I truly
feel that this doesn't have all that much to do with who I am on the
inside. I hate it when people ask me if I'm "part Japanese". How
should I answer? Racially, I am not, but... somehow I feel I am in
some other way. What is it that makes a person part of a group? How
about people who are racially 100% Japanese, but they are 3rd or 4th
generation, don't speak a word of the language and haven't been
brought up in the culture? Take a look at Kristi Yamaguchi... she
falls into this category (I think, anyway) and she proclaims to be
an American. I agree with her. I may be a hopeless idealist, but it
seems to me that the genes one is born with should not earmark you
that you must belong to one group or another. I'm white, but I
certainly consider myself, inside, to be at least partially
Japanese. I expect to get flames for this opinion. I recall when I
was still in junior high school and we had this sort of game at my
school where we met with some English speaking children to practice
English, and we had to get into groups of two Japanese and two
Americans (I think..). I was in a group with one other American
person and two Japanese kids. I recall standing up and saying "Wait,
there is only one American in this group". I recall getting laughed
at big time (I suppose everyone has some moments they recall that
just makes them squirm. ^_^). I guess what I'm trying to say is... I
just thought of myself as Japanese a lot. Or, I just didn't think of
my race at all. My friends didn't care.
	Perhaps this explains why I just cannot understand a lot of
the racism. The entire idea of judging somebody by their skin color
or their family's ancestry or whatever just seems so silly, and rife
with opportunities for error. The world is getting really small
these days, people are migrating all over the place and kids are
growing up all over the place... you can't really tell what someone
is like inside just by their looks or name anymore.
	I sort of look nostalgically on the days when I didn't care
what race I was and it truly didn't seem to matter... when it seemed
to me I truly did belong. It made it all the harder to go back this
winter and have to deal with all the visa hassles, and the fact that
I was legally forced to be only a tourist, and stuff. I just always
had this sorta naive idea that when I grew up, I could just go back
and live in Japan if I wanted to. I suppose I still can, but it is
definitely a lot more hassle than a small kid could have imagined. I
do plan to go back once I have my university graduation (that
magical slip of paper which will hopefully allow me to get a decent
visa). I eventually would like to get the permanent residency
(eijyuu minken) so that I could maybe travel between the two without
hassles. But, there is a high priority I will be rejected. I have
become highly cynical these days, I think. It just seems so silly
(yet sad) to me that I can go and point to a my old house, say "hey,
this is where I used to live in junior high", go see my old school,
visit my adopted relative types, and actually FEEL LIKE I'M HOME but
then be told "oops, you can't stay longer than three months! You
cannot go to university except on an exchange program! You can only
get a job in these certain fields" or whatever. Yes, I understand
that as a foreigner, I hafta be subjected to all these laws. Yes, I
am willing to follow them if that is the only path available. But, I
will not pretend to be happy about it. And, if this is the way *I*
feel, as a more or less first generation immigrant, all those third
generation Korean-Japanese people must REALLY be peeved.
	As far as discrimination goes... I actually get a lot more
of it when in Little Tokyo in LA. None of it is really serious, but
it can be sorta peevesome to have people point at me reading in the
stacks and say (quite audibly) "Heeeee...... Zi ga yomeru!!!! Sugoi
jyan!!!" and stuff (this is really kinda funny, since if I can read
I can obviously understand what they are saying, but they don't
think about that. ^_^). Or to order a book and have the people at
the desk always assume I'm ordering it for someone else, that sort
of thing. But hey... it isn't that serious.

On another subject.... Have any of you read the novel "Seijyouki no
kikoenai heya" by Hideo Levy? I just bought it this weekend and just
started it, but so far it's really good. It's written by an American
IN JAPANESE, which piqued my interest, and the story itself is good.
Apparently it's a rather autobiographical novel about an American
kid who runs away in Japan, to Japan. I can post more about it when
I'm finished reading it. ^_^

	Sorry to waste such bandwidth,
		Maiko Covington
		mcovingt@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (new account)
	


Newsgroups: soc.culture.japan