From: mitchell_j@ab.wvnet.edu
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: ST:TNG meets the Naked Lunch
Date: 28 Sep 92 22:17:06 GMT
Organization: Alderson-Broaddus College

The following is an episode I spewed onto the screen recently.  It was 
written in a "stream of consciousness" style.  I haven't edited it at all
because I feel that it would lose a lot of its original character.  It is
heavily inspired by the novel "THE NAKED LUNCH" by William S. Burroughs.
Hence, it is very obscene.  If that offends you then please do not read any
further. 


                  T H E   D I S M E M B E R M E N T


WELL jean-klu kluckard I am the walrus, data's the android, ku ku ka chu.
do you ever have dreams that you are in a NG episode??  sometimes i dream that
due to a transporter malfunction i become divided into three parts.  All of 
which are equally lodged in the following areas: the eurethera of worf's cock
is where my legs are, my torso and arms are stuck in the bar of ten-forward,
and my head is wedged every so tightly in the counseler's gash.  The only
way for Lietenant JUnior Grade Joliet Jake to be put togther again is by 
separating the saucer section.  Worf must take the battle bridge at high
warp to Kronos where he will slowly be brought to orgasm by Sela (he always
wanted Tasha) who is a Kilingon P.o.w.  This process will be supervised by
the good doctor Pulaski.  Irony: she is a definite detrement to orgasm--unless
you are Kyle Riker, but those riker's will fuck anything!  Next problem, ten
forward torso can only be separated from the wall by the complete and 
excessive iniebriation of all crew within its walls.  The Colm-meister is
really hitting the sauce.  He will have to break Wesley's neck with a 
tractor beam, and then vomit on Picard's dome--this will break the spell
which bindth me.  After an inital Papschmear of Deanna, and closer examination
of her gash by geordi, my head is discovered.  She must in essence give birth
to my cabeza.  The introduction of the proper contractions is only possible
if #1 face fucks her until she turns blue.  During this ceremony Data need
recite the complete works of Shakespeare all the while rubbing Beverly's
clitoris with his big toe.  Back at ten forward, with Wesley's neck in two, 
my torso begins to loosen from its hold.  O'brein is in the position.  Picard
is apprehensive about being chunkered on, but he'll do anything for his crew.
Seconds b-4 Miles buys a buick, my prolapsed asshole fights free from the wall.
Guinan takes charge, tells Colm to hold that honk, and begins to play my asshole
like a flute.  The sweet sounds of ass.  Worf shot the load of his life and the
battle bridge is on an intercept course with my legs.  Sela is dripping with
warrior sperm, but happy.  Pulaski drones on about humanity and the condition
of the federation.  Sela flips her off and quietly eats Worf's load.  (never
thought he'd bone a romulan did ya)  Geordi is neck deep in deanna's love purse,
rikedown).  Guinan finishes the 1812 which sends a rush threw my ass canal and 
expels my body from the bar.  Picard tosses it over his shoulder and breaks
into a wind sprint for sick bay.  He tramples Wesleys broken body and doesn't
give a fuck.  O'brien heads to transporter room 3.  After the reassembly of
my parts, I need be transported from sickbay to the transporter pad just to
get all my molecules on the same page of the play book.  Wait: who the fuck
is flying this ship???  As Picard enters sickbay, he is struck by my head
which has become a projectile.  Deanna's gash falls loose. It has been stretch-
ed beyond the size of even Riker...  Picard picks himself up, quotes a 
historian, sends #1 to the bridge to reconnect the saucer.  The battle bridge
had recognized Bev's primal shreiks of ecstasy to mean Warp 9.2, and it is in
position. Riker gives deanna peck on her purple, bruised, and bleeding cheek
as he tucks away his schlong for another day.  Geordi, whom received the most
fallout from the afterbirth explosion, washes his face and flosses his visor.
Worf, wearing permanent smile, is transported with my legs directly to sickbay.
Data takes his fist back, smells it, and announces his intrique.  Beverly,ces
quivering with the joy of a good android fuck, begins my reassembly.  She
laughs out loud at the mention of Wesley's death.  "Fuck him and Jack, Data
just lit my fire and that is all that fucking matters."  "Doctor, may I
remind you of your comittment to this ship's crew and this patient in partic..."
She muzzles the babbling captain with my asshole.  "quiet you french fuck, i
need some quiet.  i offered you my hot, red-haired snatch, and you refused.
 data gets me off.  now shut the fuck up, i need quiet."  Pensivly Picard 
sucks on the conclusion of my three foot rectum.   Deanna slowly awakens
to see Bev in the Buff playing Dr. Frankenstein, Picard with a mouth full
of ass looking on, geordi with Betazoid jiz all over him, and Datamechanically
altering his fist for easier ass entry.  She coughs up a mouthfull of Riker's
pubic hair, laughingly she pockets it as a souveniour of the craziest face fuck
in the galaxy.  Crusher slaps her communicator (which since she is naked, 
dangles from her nipple) "Transport patient--now"  O'brien initiates it.
Worf looks onto the transporter pad, phaser ready ( in case it is like a 
pet semetary thing ).   Beverly picard's face as the asshole is transported 
from his mouth. <<< Should be "Beverly watches...>>>  Jake is rematerializing.
Picard licks his lips, "Mister Worf--Is everything OK over there."  "Well
Captain, he has materialized and appears to be normal other than the pungent
smell of ass."  "Very good lietenant, that is perfectly normal for him." 
"Captain, permission to report to sickbay, my cock is killing me."  "Granted"

Captain's LOg; stardate 4545433.232  After a transporter malfunction and an
impromptu mission to correct it most everything has returned to normal. Riker
and worf have been treated for fractured peeholes.  Geordi is briefing Deanna
on the infared details of her now blown out gash.  Data and Beverly are now
together on a daily fucking regimen. We mourned the death of the boy--wesley--
for about five seconds.  Guinan has cut a new album called "your all time
favorite ass-flute tunes".  O'brein beats off a lot. And Junior Lietenant Joliet
Jake met some misfortune.  Shortly after all the effort to save his life, he
was celebrating in ten forward, in a tone of drunken arrogance he called Q
a cocksucker.  Q appeared and turned him into a Belzoidian flea.  We ain't seen
him since.  So much for all the king's horses, and all the kings men... The
moral here is don't bad mouth the omnipitent.  They get pissed.

			t h e      e n d


Comments please!

james r mitchell
mitchell_j@ab.wvnet.edu
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative