From: noraa@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (aaron.l.hoffmeyer)
Newsgroups: alt.child-support
Subject: Re: knee jerk
Date: 10 Apr 92 04:16:56 GMT
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories

In article <1992Apr8.234931.1779@memstvx1.memst.edu> thrushea@memstvx1.memst.edu writes:
>Question:  I have an 18 year old who is about to start college.  The
>schools, understandably, are not willing to give us much financial aid
>because of her father's income - why should they use their money to
>educate a child who has parents with income when there are other kids
>who don't? But her father doesn't want to pay what the schools consider
>his rightful contribution. He wants to "get the shackles off". So
>does she give up the chance for a good education?  I've saved and
>have some home equity and I'm perfectly willing to use it, but should
>I have to be wiped out because he doesn't want to carry his share?
>Of course, she plans to work while in school - that's part of the
>aid we ARE being offered. She's very bright, and an investment in
>her education will definitely pay off all the way around.  Most of
>you must have gone to college - and a lot of it was probably paid for
>by your parents. How would you have felt about having to give it
>up and resign yourself to either an inferior education or a lifetime
>in minimum wage jobs while one of your parents lived in a house with
>a pool and a hot tub and flew himself places in private planes?

Yes, some parents can be miserly.  But is that illegal?  Is there any
law which forces parents of intact families to pay for the college
education of their children?  What's that?  Speak up.

Such is life.

Did my parents help pay for my college education?  Yes, most
definitely.  They paid about $1200 over a four year period - mostly
money to keep me from starving - when I was broke.  And I declared
myself an independent student so that I could qualify for additional
financial aid from the government - which meant they weren't supposed
to give me money.  For the contributions they did make, I am and was
very grateful.  Did I pay much for my college education?  Yes, most
definitely.  I paid about $12,000 out of my pockets and borrowed
another $10k which I am still paying back.  My last two years in
college, I worked full-time and went to school full-time.  I had about
5 minutes a day when I wasn't busy.  I also joined the National Guard
to get additional money for college (a decision I regret very much -
sell your soul to the devil for a few dollars more).  I was very stupid
in how I went about paying for college.  I turned down a full-tuition
scholarship to Purdue University to major in Electrical Engineering and
chose to go to a small, conservative, all male private school where I
had to pay over $3k out of my pocket every year - after borrowing my
ass off.  Now, that is just plain stupid. I ran out of money when I was
almost a year away from getting my degree.  I quit school to get more
money, but within a year, my soon-to-be-ex was preggers.  During the
marriage, we were able to pay for me to take one class (I got an A+).
My at-the-time-wife had a different set of priorities - she wanted to
collect all the junk that people were going to throw away, but decided
to see if they could get a few pennies for it at yard sales first -
within a 5 mile radius of our house.  At one point, we had 17 chairs in
our living room.  Would you like to finish your degree, or would you
like to take a seat?  Oh, don't worry about the broken leg.  My husband
will pay to have the wicker redone.  Oh, that one, we'll get it
re-upholstered.  Yes, that one does smell, but it was only $5.

We all have our problems.  We shouldn't try to erase our problems at the
expense of the individual rights of others - no matter who they are.

My office-mate just put this up on his wall - it's great.

			ATTITUDE

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important
that the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than
failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It
is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or
break a company... a church... a home.  The remarkable thing is we have
a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change the past, we cannot change the fact that people will
act a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we
can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I
am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to
it.  And so it is with everyone... we are in charge of our attitudes."
		-- Charles Swindoll

Now if that's not a great last name for an attorney, then I don't
deserve to live.   Swindoll, Cheatum, and Howe.

Aaron L. Hoffmeyer
TR@CBNEA.ATT.COM 
Newsgroups: alt.child-support,soc.men,soc.women