From: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Record Fairs
Date: 28 Sep 92 09:42:57 GMT
Reply-To: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Organization: Penicuik People's Revolutionary Sheepdog Liberation Front

On the face of it a record fair *should* be an anti-peeve to someone like
myself who has a tendency to spend money that should be set aside for
other, less important things like food, clothing etc on compact discs.

However, a record fair is an extremely peeveworthy experience.

Maybe in other parts of the world record fairs are pleasant to attend but
here in Edinburgh they consists of 30 or 40 ramshackle stalls jammed in a
fairly small hall with several thousand people, most of whom seem to be
ignorant of the concept of deodorant.

Let us compare the advertising with reality....

"10s of 1000s of Records, Tapes and CDs!!!!"

Leaving aside the ghastliness of "10s of 1000s", this usually turns out to
mean 90% vinyl, 5% tape and 5% CD.

"Lots of rarities and collectables!!!!"

The stock of the stalls seems to follow the "90% of everything is crap"
law. If it's vinyl, it's either in good condition and rare but incredibly
expensive, in bad condition, rare and cheap but looks like its been
sandpapered or in good condition and cheap because the record flopped when
it was released and the stallholder is now trying to flog the 15,000 copies
they bought and couldn't sell.

Most of the CDs seem to fall into this last category too. If "rare" means
"a Rick Astley CD with a broken case that, should I actually have *had* a
lobotomy and want to buy it, I could pick up in any shop in town at an
equally cheap price" then truly the place was packed with rare CDs.

One exception to this rule are those stalls manned by seedy looking
individuals with the browser bins marked "Live and Rare". Now "live and
rare" actually means "bootlegged and illegal" so these stalls are *usually*
worth a browse. OK, so 95% of the stalls contents appears to consist of
Grateful Dead or Doors bootlegs (*) (I believe there's some sort of
contract that companies that put out bootlegs have to sign that means they
*have* to release 75 Grateful Dead or Doors bootlegs before they can put
out anything else) but hidden away in the depths I turned up 3 Kraftwerk
(**) and 1 Front 242 bootleg CDs.

Two problems - the first being that the stall *wouldn't* take cheques, only
cash. The second being that even if they had, I had just noticed the price
tag. I don't think I can even *count* that high.

Just *why* are bootlegs so expensive? OK, there's certain things that would
cause their price to rise such as small production runs, import costs (most
seem to be produced in Italy) and their basic illegality, but on the other
hand bootleg companies are noticeable for *not* taking out full page ads in
the music press or giving large sums of money to the artists involved.

So, there we have it. I paid my 50p, went in, spent an hour or so being
pushed, shoved and assaulted by bodily odours but came out completely
empty-handed. The really peeving thing is that I've done this several times
in the past too, but *every* time I see that little sign outside Adam House
saying "Record Fair" I just *have* to go in on the off-chance that maybe
*this* time I'll find something worth buying.

(*) Yes, Mike, in case you didn't get to it, I'm pretty sure they did have
some Hawkwind stuff too.
(**) But not the one I really wanted.

--
		Not Al Crawford - Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk
      "Brothers, sisters, we don't need this fascist sheepdog thang"