HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: haley@husc11.harvard.edu (Elizabeth Haley)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack
Subject: Re: Jesus' name (was Re: Late breaking potential UL!)
Date: 22 Jan 93 03:13:06 GMT
 <1993Jan14.224800.17799@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> <H.ea.PgN1O5HUNLc@semprini.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca> <1j9nkoINNvl@network.ucsd.edu>

>> (stuff)
but anyway,
the 'H' is for Heysoos.  "Jesus Heysoos Christ!"

credits to one of the U of Cincinnati film society hamsters, who found
out and may be trusted.
EbE7H
-- 
=------------------THE-AUTHOR-OF-THIS-SIGNATURE-IS-A-GERBIL!----------------=
=The author of this letter is a fabulously intelligent person and is very   =
=Silly. She is also remarkably well loved, by the author of this signature. =
=---------------------------haley@husc9.harvard.edu-------------------------=
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: max@west.darkside.com (Erik Max Francis)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Law of Fives
Date: 27 Jan 93 08:02:39 GMT
Organization: The Dark Side of the Moon +1 408 245 SPAM

aldavi01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu (Arlie Davis) writes:

> Anything can be derived from anything, when humans are concerned.
> 
> Believe whatever you like.  It won't help.

Right-o!  Another person familiar with the underlying concept of the Law 
of Fives.


Erik Max Francis  -)(-  ..!apple!uuwest!max  -)(-  max@west.darkside.com   __
USMail: 1070 Oakmont Dr. #1; San Jose, CA  95117  ICBM: 37 20 N 121 53 W  /  \
Like strategic games of interstellar conquest? . . . Ask about UNIVERSE!  \__/
-)(- Omnia quia sunt, lumina sunt; all things that are, are lights. -)(-
From: megazone@realsoon.WPI.EDU (MegaZone)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: A couple of questions.
Date: 25 Jan 1993 22:56:45 GMT
Organization: WPI Discordian Society, Undocumented Cabal
NNTP-Posting-Host: realsoon.wpi.edu
Keywords: eris, masturbation

In article <1993Jan25.022133.7954@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au> mongoose@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Conrad Leviston) writes:
>	1) Is alt.discordia moderated?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>	2) Is mastubation an appropriate form of worship to Eris?

Only if it is a religious experience...

###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: mongoose@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Conrad Leviston)
Subject: A couple of questions.
Keywords: eris, masturbation
Organization: Monash University General Access Unix
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 02:21:33 GMT




	Just a cuople of questions on the discordian movement to which
there probably aren't any correct answers:

	1) Is alt.discordia moderated?
	2) Is mastubation an appropriate form of worship to Eris?

	Any answers will be gratefully ignored.


		Halifax the Dishevelled   P.I.S.



-- 
Conrad Leviston	 | Got to find a brightness in the soul,
mongoose@yoyo.	 | Not look outside to find out where we are,
cc.monash.edu.au | Otherwise you won't be satisfied, 
Save the gherkin | 'Til you've made possession of the stars. (K.Wallinger)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: kkoller@nyx.cs.du.edu (Capt. Sarcastic)
Subject: My Favourite Bible Passsage...
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 93 00:18:36 GMT

 
Elijah and Elisha were pretty well liked by God, they were "good friends."
 
Here is the passage:


II Kings 2:23,24

23  And he [Elisha] went up from thence unto Beth-el: and as he was going up by
the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and
said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24  And he turned back, and looked upon them, and cursed them in the name of
the LORD.  And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty
and two children of them.


This is directly from the "Gideon" bible I stole from the last hotel I stayed
in.  The section in the front that highlights important things that happen in
the bible doesn't mention this.  Heh.


BUT, this is from the newer "New International Version" and uses much clearer
language:

23  From there Elisha went up to Bethel.  As he was walking along the road,
some youths came out of the town and jeered at him.  "Go on up, you baldhead!"
they said.  "Go on up, you baldhead!"

24  He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse in the name of the
LORD.  Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.


Just thought I'd share with you all MY favourite lesson from the Bible.


Capt. "respect your elders: bears will eat you if you call them bald" Sarcastic
--
Capt. Sarcastic      |The U.S. economy is dominated by monopolies.  In order to
(Kurt S. Koller)     |gain higher profits they exploit the U.S. workers as well
kkoller@nyx.cs.du.edu|as the population of the countries dependent on the U.S.A.
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: mongoose@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Conrad Leviston)
Subject: Peace Symbol
Organization: Monash University General Access Unix
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 03:26:01 GMT

[ Article crossposted from talk.religion.misc,alt.pagan ]
[ Author was MCDONNELL, CATHERINE ]
[ Posted on 24 Jan 93 03:20:00 GMT ]

In article <1993Jan24.022044.6538@engage.pko.dec.com>, pub@riscee.pko.dec.com (Publius) writes...
>In article <93023.143323IO10184@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> IO10184@MAINE.MAINE.EDU writes:
>>
>>    What a neat coincedance! I just snatched a book from a local
>>bookstore that sheds light on this subject.
> 
>The pagan and occult origin of the sign of cross was well-known to the
>early Puritans.  In New England, you can still find many historic
>church buildings dated back to the Puritan days, and in NONE of them
>can you find the sign of cross.
> 
>So, is the "peace symbol" a pagan and occult symbol?  Of course it is,
>for it was derived from the sign of cross, which was one of the most
>ancient pagan and occult symbols in human history.

The peace symbol may very well evoke pagan or Christian symbols, but
Cecil Adams in _More of the Straight Dope_ has the facts:

"The design for the familiar crow's-foot-in-a-circle we know as the
peace symbol was completed February 21, 1958, by British commercial
artist Gerald Holtom. Holtom had been commissioned by the Campaign for
Nuclear Disarmament, headed by philosopher Bertrand Russell. [...]
It was a combination of the semaphore signals for N and D, standing
for Nuclear Disarmament."

Voila.


Kate
-- 
Conrad Leviston	 | Got to find a brightness in the soul,
mongoose@yoyo.	 | Not look outside to find out where we are,
cc.monash.edu.au | Otherwise you won't be satisfied, 
Save the gherkin | 'Til you've made possession of the stars. (K.Wallinger)
Xref: sparky alt.discordia:792 alt.slack:3936 alt.religion.kibology:6072
From: of@ecs.soton.ac.uk (Fibre Optics)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: List of Deities
Date: 26 Jan 93 16:12:14 GMT

She's just gotta be here !
Joanna Lumley  - - - Goddess status as from now.
Also her Holy Screaming Prophet Arthur Mullard.

HAIL JOANNA !


-- 
Peter Harris   G4BDQ  |         Unusual exploding disclaimer  ->    (}|){//)
Fibre Optics *-----------------------------------------------------(--PAF !-)
Southampton University| "Relax in the safety of your own delusions" (/}|{\\)
of@ecs.soton.ac.uk    |           Kerry Wendell Thornley              |||
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: mongoose@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Conrad Leviston)
Subject: Peace Symbol
Organization: Monash University General Access Unix
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 03:25:38 GMT

[ Article crossposted from talk.religion.misc,alt.pagan ]
[ Author was Publius ]
[ Posted on 24 Jan 93 02:20:44 GMT ]

In article <93023.143323IO10184@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> IO10184@MAINE.MAINE.EDU writes:
>
>    What a neat coincedance! I just snatched a book from a local
>bookstore that sheds light on this subject.

Actually, the best book on this is Rev. Alexander Hislop's book "The Two
Babylons".  The "peace symbol" obviously was derived from the sign of
cross, and the sign of cross was, as Rev. Hislop documented in details
in his book, one of most ancient pagan and occult symbols in human
history, and that is why the cross was called "cursed tree" in the
Bible, and that is why the Adversary chose to nail Christ on the cross.

The pagan and occult origin of the sign of cross was well-known to the
early Puritans.  In New England, you can still find many historic
church buildings dated back to the Puritan days, and in NONE of them
can you find the sign of cross.

So, is the "peace symbol" a pagan and occult symbol?  Of course it is,
for it was derived from the sign of cross, which was one of the most
ancient pagan and occult symbols in human history.

Regards,
-- 
For Christ and His Kingdom
-- Publius
Disclaimer: These opinions are mine, all mine, mine alone.


-- 
For Christ and His Kingdom
-- Publius
Disclaimer: These opinions are mine, all mine, mine alone.
-- 
Conrad Leviston	 | Got to find a brightness in the soul,
mongoose@yoyo.	 | Not look outside to find out where we are,
cc.monash.edu.au | Otherwise you won't be satisfied, 
Save the gherkin | 'Til you've made possession of the stars. (K.Wallinger)
Xref: sparky alt.discordia:754 alt.slack:3868 alt.religion.kibology:6008
From: spl@pitstop.ucsd.edu (Steve Lamont)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: List of Deities
Date: 22 Jan 93 16:56:53 GMT
Organization: University of Calif., San Diego/Microscopy and Imaging Resource
NNTP-Posting-Host: pitstop.ucsd.edu

In article <C18tF4.8ov@world.std.com> kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>In article <1993Jan20.141315.5116@wkuvx1.bitnet> kinnema@wkuvx1.bitnet (Mark Kinney, Attorney at Chaos) writes:
>>> 
>>How about Ace, Goddess of Excessive Firepower?
>
>Only if you reveal the secret formula for Nitro-9, and if Ace meets Sil.

Oh, goody!  My Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator!

Paf!

							spl
-- 
Steve Lamont, SciViGuy -- (619) 534-7968 -- spl@szechuan.ucsd.edu
UCSD Microscopy and Imaging Resource/UCSD Med School/La Jolla, CA 92093-0608
"The English are drinking the better beer in Bavaria."
            - Archibald Macleish, "Lines for an Interment"
Xref: sparky alt.discordia:733 alt.slack:3828 alt.religion.kibology:5976
From: groon@anarky.tch.org (groon)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: List of Deities
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 93 15:20:49 PST
Organization: The Canned Ham, San Jose, CA (408) 971-8530

> In article <1993Jan19.064023.20242@netcom.com>, howard@netcom.com (Howard
> Berkey) wrote:.
> > >{ 
> > >{	Eris
> > >{	Bob
> > >{	Kibo
> > >{	Cthulhu
> > >{	The Beer Commercial Jesus
> > >{	Snuffle-upagus
> > >	The Tidy-Bowl Man
> >  And the eighth Dwarf, 'Farty'.
> Of course there is always Shub-Internet.
 bloddy hell. bloddy primates always forget Mr. Clean.


 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
groon@anarky.tch.org [ NAked CArp: Ode to a Union Barley Factory, man ]
( o/~ bert jansch, robert fripp, bob mould, tohu-bohu, cowboy junkies )
radda skatorna och fjallammlarna och manskligheten, anarkism kan segra!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: cs291@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jonathan A. Rochkind)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: read me:  read you
Date: 23 Jan 1993 05:00:36 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: cs291@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jonathan A. Rochkind)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, megazone@obsidian.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23) says:

>In article <1993Jan7.010455.1@oread.cc.ukans.edu> ila@oread.cc.ukans.edu writes:
>>Excluding the obvious one and Robert Anton Wilson novels, what are
>>other enjoyable Discordian reading material?  (esp, if it discusses
>

This may be obvious, but Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. Again, no mentioning of
eris, indeed obviously not because it preceeded the discordian movement
(well I suppose that's debatable actually). But a good book nontheless.

And I have heard of a book whose name has something to do with "the sect
organ of the orthodox discordian society" published by said orthodox
discordian society. Does anyone know anything about this?








Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.horror.cthulhu
From: pdudey@willamette.edu (Peter Dudey)
Subject: Re: Peace Symbol
Organization: Willamette University, Salem OR
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 1993 04:42:15 GMT

In article <TNGXBKSX@cc.swarthmore.edu> ahankin1@cc.swarthmore.edu (A. Luke Hankins) writes:
>
>sorry, i'm sure that this will come as great shock and disappointment to
>all, but the "peace" symbol is actually simply a "nuclear disarmament"
>symbol, with the design coming from the semaphore:
>
>			|		|
>	/\("N")  +   	| ("D")   =    /|\
>

And the circle for "total" or "complete".  I believe this symbol in known
in Britain as a CND symbol--complete nuclear disarmament.

What the hell does this have to do with either of these groups, unless
somebody wants to run R.A.W.'s Atlantean origin theory...
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cardinal Yipping Mundungus, Ministry of Rutting,
N-Dimensional Hell Pool Restractus Division, Church of the Nuked Burrito
Please mail me plastic spaceships:  900 State St.  C-210,  Salem,  OR,  97301
From: a_weitz@pavo.concordia.ca (WEITZMAN, ANDREW)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: The Sect of Small Gods
Date: 25 Jan 93 18:26:00 GMT
Organization: Concordia University
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


This is High Rejuvenator Andrew speaking.  The Sect of Small Gods is currently
looking to recruit believers.  We are the "Betty Ford" of religions,
where gods abandoned or destroyed by the centuries may spend their
retirement in an appropriate theo-cosmic setting.

WHAT YOU GET FOR JOINING THE SECT
   The advantage of this sect is diversity.  Over the centuries, religion
has either meant worshipping a confusing pantheon of minor gods, or
pledging alleigance to single deity who may not meet your specific

worship needs.  We here at Small Gods have found an acceptable
compromise.  Under our guidelines, a believer offers a GENERAL worship
which is apportioned among the god-members on a co-op basis.
The result: no more worrying about acceptable behavior, or memorizing
all those tedious prayers.  Some god is likely to approve of your behavior
no matter what this is (note to hit men: given that many of our older
members accepted human scarifice, this religion is particularly appropriate).
As well, your general worship, as it is recieved by all members, will be
applicable to all situations.  No need for those "raindance rituals";
one prayer for rain will be cheerfully fulfilled by any of our tribal
weather deities.

WHAT THEY GET OUT OF IT
Worship--the lifeblood of any deity.  Given that their stature is small
due to their fall from popularity, even the biggest Supreme Deity only
requires a small amount of worship for his maintenance.  By operating
on a co-operative basis, the Small Gods members can recieve a high volume
of followers without all of those religious wars.

So enter the Sect.  We welcome all people from all walks of life.
Make new friends, learn new practises, enjoy the knowledge that someone
IS watching you, and S/He owes you BIG.

--The High Rejuvenator--
From: megazone@coal.WPI.EDU (MegaZone)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Wow revelations man revelations
Date: 24 Jan 1993 04:47:05 GMT
Organization: WPI Discordian Society, Undocumented Cabal
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: coal.wpi.edu


So, we're messing with Druel the Chaotic's excellent Discordian date
program. (aka, mpython@gnu.ai.mit.edu) and we stumbled across something...

Entering 'normal' dates into the program gives the corresponding Discordian
date...

so...

Script started on Sat Jan 23 23:38:58 1993
> discdate 1 1 0
1-1-0 is Sweetmorn,the 1st day of Chaos in the YOLD 1166

So, what is the first day of chaos in the year 0?

> discdate 1 1 -1166
1-1--1166 is Sweetmorn,the 1st day of Chaos in the YOLD 0

Logically it is 1/1/-1166... but wait 1+1+6+6 is 14 and 1+4 is 5!
Even more cryptic.. 1+1+1+1+6+6 is 16 1+6 is 7; 7 is 5+2, but 2*5 is 10;
10 is 7+3; and 3+2 is 5!

Of course my roommate has been working at Radio Shack, so this all makes
sense to him.

Today is Pungenday,the 23rd day of Chaos in the YOLD 3159

Hey... don't blame me. I just breathe here.

###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################
Xref: sparky alt.discordia:721 alt.slack:3809 alt.religion.kibology:5957
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: List of Deities
Organization: Two rooms filled with typography, in downtown Boston
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 06:45:04 GMT

In article <1993Jan20.141315.5116@wkuvx1.bitnet> kinnema@wkuvx1.bitnet (Mark Kinney, Attorney at Chaos) writes:
>> 
>How about Ace, Goddess of Excessive Firepower?

Only if you reveal the secret formula for Nitro-9, and if Ace meets Sil.

					-- K.
					Who got 'All Doctors Lit' on
					the pinball machine today
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: mongoose@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Conrad Leviston)
Subject: Peace Symbol
Organization: Monash University General Access Unix
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 03:22:35 GMT

[ Article crossposted from talk.religion.misc,alt.pagan ]
[ Author was Paul Ciszek ]
[ Posted on 23 Jan 93 06:20:05 GMT ]

haefner@infonode.ingr.com (Mark W. Haefner) writes:


>Recently several articles have been on the ankh and I thought I would
>ask if anyone has information on where the "peace symbol" is derived
>from. I have heard that its origins are occultic and was used by some
>ancient pagan societies. Is this true? If so, who? Anyone care to 
>offer some reliable info?

According to Cecil Adams, the symbol originally stood for nuclear
disarmament.  The lines are a representation of semaphore signals for
"N" and "D".  I have actually seen peace signs drawn with the flags
in place.

Paul Ciszek                      When we are planning for posterity, we
                                 ought to remember that virtue is not
pciszek@nyx.cs.du.edu            hereditary.     --Thomas Paine
-- 
Conrad Leviston	 | Got to find a brightness in the soul,
mongoose@yoyo.	 | Not look outside to find out where we are,
cc.monash.edu.au | Otherwise you won't be satisfied, 
Save the gherkin | 'Til you've made possession of the stars. (K.Wallinger)
Newsgroups: alt.prose
From: gdg019@cch.coventry.ac.uk (Ridley McIntyre)
Subject: BREATH
Keywords: Psychology ramblings from hell...
Organization: Fifth Column, Coventry, UK
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 15:17:17 GMT

			Breathing - by Ridley McIntyre

This is an oxygen-free room. Makes breathing  something  of  a  secondary
state.  Not so much a way of life as a way of pretending to be alive. The
heating in here does that.

 I mean, outside it's cold and a frozen wind  throws  my  hair  in  every
direction  and  the people here call me "Spike" when I walk in because of
the state of my hair. So I pat it all down and hope for the best  but  in
the back of my little head I can hear people laughing and I think they're
laughing at me but they're not. Paranoia. Who fucking well invented that,
eh? 

 And it scares me to think sometimes that I can survive through all this.
Chained to an existence I know little or nothing  about.  Living  because
that's what everyone else does. The Ultimate in Peer Pressure.

 Pressure  like  that  can build up to a fever pitch in a room like this,
forces the heat into you until you feel like you're on a popper  rush  or
something.  Breathing  like there's no tomorrow/no oxygen/nothing left to
live for except speed breathing.  Skin  flushed  red  and  blood  rushing
through your ears.

 Jesus.  If  this  is  life then it's tough as a bitch. And all I'm doing
with it is breathing.

(c) Copyright 1993 by Ridley McIntyre
-- 
 ____ @     |  | Ridley McIntyre  -  gdg019@cck.cov.ac.uk | EARTH      CALLING |
|         __|  | Piglet 8@) -  On a  Flowery Space  Trip! | ANGELA: "Her black |
|     |  |  |  | "NAPOLEON!!!"    -         "AAAAAIIEE!!" | hair flowing  like |
|     |  |__|  |       - a rather visual Tank Police joke | an   acid   river" |
Xref: sparky alt.prose:1724 alt.prose.d:282
From: megazone@yoyodyne.WPI.EDU (MegaZone)
Newsgroups: alt.prose,alt.prose.d
Subject: Re: Hey
Followup-To: alt.prose.d
Date: 25 Jan 1993 03:08:43 GMT
Organization: WPI Discordian Society, Undocumented Cabal
NNTP-Posting-Host: yoyodyne.wpi.edu

In article <DoBwXB1w165w@bluemoon.use.com> neuro@bluemoon.use.com (David Hershhorn) writes:
>Hey...  What's going on here?  Is some sort of publication coming out?  
>Let me know, I'd love to write something for it...

This group is for people to post there own works of prose. Fanfic, original
creations, shorts, plays, etc...

If you'd like to post feel free...

Followups to alt.prose.d
###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################
From: Shic Osega
Newsgroups: alt.prose
Subject: The Constant Student (part 2)
Date: 26 Jan 1993 12:31:02 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems UK Ltd.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: napier.uk.sun.com


THE CONSTANT STUDENT (part 2)

from 'the Erroneous Memoirs of a Fool`, by Shic Osega


After sobbing to myself for some time, I became aware of the presence of 
another person downstairs.  As it was unlikely that I would be able to 
maintain my anonymity for all nine months of my course, I decided to 
introduce myself to the poor unfortunate who was also charged with 
attempting to make a home out of this hovel.  Downstairs, with a 
multitude of cardboard boxes, I found Raj, a timid, likeable fellow with 
a minority religious disposition and a lifelong devotion to the ways of 
the teetotal vegetarian.  Like me, Raj was a southerner, a student and a 
hated resident of the square.  However, Raj also fitted a fourth, perhaps 
more serious and even more hated category.  Raj was Asian.  Had Raj also 
been a Newcastle United fan - the rival soccer team - he would almost 
certainly have been murdered on his way to the square.

As time wore on I decided to unpack my luggage.  Once removed from the 
suitcases my assorted clothes, bedding and other miscellaneous items more 
than covered the visible surface area of my room.  Depressed, I decided 
to seek out a nearby fast food outlet as a form of repastory escapism 
from the immediate problems in hand.  The proximity of the square to the 
town centre provided me with a host of options, and I settled on an 
extremely trendy-looking pizza parlour named Gigi's which, surprisingly, 
contained no other customers.  I was assurred by the pizza-seller inside 
that the name was not a reference to horsemeat in the pizza toppings, and 
ordered the biggest, hottest, juiciest pizza on offer.  With my prize 
firmly under my arm I sprinted back to my new home and headed straight 
for the kitchen, wherein I ripped the cardboard assunder.  Inside was a 
red and yellow gelatinous blob of a rather liquid composition with small 
flecks of green and white.  Sadly, my possessions were devoid of eating 
implements of any sort, and so I was reduced to juggling the sticky, 
stringy mixture with my bare hands.


***

Newsgroups: alt.prose