From: srscnslt@telesciences.com (SRS Consultant)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade,alt.best.of.internet
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Date: 16 Nov 92 20:09:30 GMT
Organization: TeleSciences CO Systems, Inc.

In article <shephard.721774898@sfu.ca> shephard@fraser.sfu.ca (Gordon Shephard) writes:
>e91petmo@odalix.ida.liu.se (Peter /\/\odin) writes:
>>jacobw@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jacob Solomon Weinstein) writes:
>>>In article <1992Nov12.162326.16772@tolten.puc.cl> mbfarah@isluga.puc.cl (MIGUEL BRAXTON FARAH) writes:
>>>>THOMAS LUNDQUIST (thomasez@dhhalden.no) wrote:
>>>>: In article <gunnarh.241.721248782@dhhalden.no> gunnarh@dhhalden.no (GUNNAR HORRIGMO) writes:
>>>>: >From: gunnarh@dhhalden.no (GUNNAR HORRIGMO)
>>>>: >Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
>>>>: >Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 18:53:02 GMT
>>>>: >From: slb22@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Seth L. Blumberg)
>>>>: >Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
>>>>: >Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 02:48:42 GMT
>>>>: >rbw%apple.com@fico.UUCP (Randy Wong) writes:
>>>>: >>dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>>>>: >>>sdoran@sam.ksu.ksu.edu (Steven Marcotte) writes:
>>>>: >>>>bgohari@wam.umd.edu (Babak Gohari) writes:
>>>>: >>>>>tilden@sportster.ksu.ksu.edu (Tilden-Master of Illogic) writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>dlutz@willamette.edu (David Lutz) writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard) writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>galt%peruvian.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>Michael Schmahl [Black-Robe Mage] writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>lairdpg@lub001.lamar.edu writes
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>22161-bunz writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>Brett G Person writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>smith@ctron.com writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IronEagle writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Matt Welsh writes:
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HA! _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex Sinclair!
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Top THAT!
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm running NextStep on Atari 2600 Video Game System. 
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>Just last night I was able to get Windows to boot on my Sears PONG
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>game.
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer on my
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>Game-Boy.
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>I just installed a 10 Gigabyte Drive to handle all the replies!
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>However, it only runs at 230,000 Baud due to the large drive
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>>slowing it down.
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>I fear I will not be getting news any longer...  The batteries on my
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>>calculator-watch are running out.
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>My calculator-watch is solar...  And if I turned off the lights, NO
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>>ONE would be getting news...
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>Feh. I'm so slick NASA just awarded ME the TERADATA contract to run on
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>my TV remote! They liked my proposal mainly because I'm ALSO able to
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>shoehorn in the TEXAS SUPERCOLLIDER computations between commercials!
>>>>: >>>>>>>>>Beat THAT!
>>>>: >>>>>>>>Well, well, well. SSC calculations, huh. I built a system out of 2
>>>>: >>>>>>>>inches of wire, 3 pennies and a AA battery that does realtime
>>>>: >>>>>>>>calculations of particle vectors during the Big Bang. A complete
>>>>: >>>>>>>>simulation of the first 2 years of the life of the universe, accurate
>>>>: >>>>>>>>to the theoretical limit, takes about 5 seconds.
>>>>: >>>>>>>And you guys think you are so great.  I just spent the last half hour
>>>>: >>>>>>>getting X11 to run on my slide rule.  I am still having problems
>>>>: >>>>>>>connecting it to the net around here, but I would welcome any
>>>>: >>>>>>>suggestions.
>>>>: >>>>>>So what!!! I'm running Xinitrc, TWMRC, Internet, and 27 muds off of a
>>>>: >>>>>>paperclip.  Not to mention the fact that I am designing a new form of
>>>>: >>>>>>television with 7000 pixels based off a piece of tissue paper.  Next!!!
>>>>: >>>>>Man, that's baby stuff.  I'm running a particle accelerator utilizing
>>>>: >>>>>matter-antimatter reactions in my doorknob, and calculating everything in
>>>>: >>>>>the fourth dimension using a single dip switch and a large glass of water.
>>>>: >>>>Child's play, I have an old piece of cheese that is, at this very moment, 
>>>>: >>>>raytracing an actual model of the universe five hours from now, while
>>>>: >>>>at the same time calculating the heat produced from the new intel
>>>>: >>>>Pentium.
>>>>: >>>And you people think that you are hackers! I'm currently engaged in a
>>>>: >project
>>>>: >>>which involves simultaneous simulation of multiple universes (To see what
>>>>: >>>would happen if various constants change. Pi=8.4 is an interesting one.) My
>>>>: >>>hardware consists of a single wooden pencil (no paper). With it, I can do
>>>>: >>>real-time simulations of 2^32 universes in parallel.
>>>>: >>You guys are wimps!!  I've just finished converting a microwave oven into a
>>>>: >>paradimensional teleportation device.  The only problem I'm having so far is
>>>>: >>that my breakfast bagel keeps disappearing!!  May have to eat it raw . . .
>>>>: >
>>>>: >Sorry, that's my fault.  I'm afraid that the high-energy laser-pumped
>>>>: >negentropic vortex generator I made from my own nostril hair, which is
>>>>: >currently cranking out entire new universes at the rate of 7.6 per picosecond,
>>>>: >was breaking the FCC emissions limits and gronking your microwave's control
>>>>: >panel.  It should work properly now.  Also, my cat Arthur was FTPing hundreds
>>>>: >of terabytes of PD software from Epsilon Eridani in the year 4741 A.D. over
>>>>: >the faster-than-light Ethernet interface I built for him, and this may have
>>>>: >been loading the Net a little yesterday.  My sincere apologies to everyone who
>>>>: >noticed any performance degradation.
>>>>: 
>>>>: Damn, I thought I was doin' smoe really advanced R&D. But I only have a 
>>>>: humble feather pen with build in spell checking. It checks all languages 
>>>>: since Adam & Eve plus a few forthcoming languages. But after what I've seen 
>>>>: here, thats not good enough for a Nobel Price..I have to work harder...
>>>>: Maybe some of the languages from outer space will help ?? I just have to 
>>>>: use my FingerNail Time&Universe Transporter(tm) to get there and learn them.
>>>>
>>>>You're all a bunch of lazy pseudo-programmers. When you have, as I, set
>>>>up an entire University Unix net (with Mail, IRC, more than 2 MUDs, ano-
>>>>nymous ftp, etc etc etc etc etc ) on a Turing Machine, we'll talk.
>
>>>Hahaha! Fools! You think that's impressive? I've wired together every
>>>computer on the Internet with Quantum-Thin Wire (tm), and programmed it
>>>to act like a really big abacus. Running 8 x 10^100^10^10^10^4
>>>calculations a millisecond, I hope to solve the equation 5x = 10
>>>by sometime next week. Now _that's_ progress.
>>Then how about this: I've constructed the first computer ever made of one
>>single Hydrogen atom. There are a couple of advantages with it; 1. it can
>>be inhaled for transport; 2. it relies entirely on voice-detecting for input,
>>and a hologram for output (that was the tricky part), and 3. it creates
>>two copies of itself every second, allowing for multiple processes! I'm
>>speaking this reply right now to a cloud in front of me, using a Voice
>>Detection version (mine, really) of X-Windows in 3D. NEXT!

>All accomplishments pale beside mine: Managed to re-write DOS 5.0 so that
>it breaks the the 640K barrier.


	Uh, I think this has GOT to be the winner!

Mitch
emrys@cellar.org
srscnslt@telesciences.com
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