From: eowyn@brahms.udel.edu (Zoe Antonia Velonis)
Subject: Re: Oprah 11/19
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 21:30:23 GMT

>I, too, watched Oprah today and continue to be amazed at how intolerant
>people can be of others just because of their sexual orientation.  As a
>mother of four, I don't understand how any parent could turn their back
>on their child just because of who their child is.  I confess that I am
>ignorant when it comes to understanding what makes some people a "four-
>leaf clover, when most are three."  (Oprah's analogy for gay vs. straight
>orientation.)  Therefore, I would like to ask a couple of probably really
>dumb questions, but please believe me that I am sincere and only ask
>because I do care about other people and have a desire to understand.  So,
>1) I believe that whether a person is gay or straight depends on genetics.
>Therefore, when a person is born, it has already been determined...being
>gay is not "learned behavior that one can change" as the religious fanatics
>would have us believe.  Is this belief correct?  2) During the Oprah episode,
>several "straight" individuals accused a couple of lesbians on the show of
>really wanting to be men since they chose to dress or "act" like most people
>think men should behave.  My question then is:  Like a heterosexual relation-
>ship, do homosexual relationships generally have male and female roles...the
>more dominant individual portraying a male role?
That's really great.  I hope my parents feel like you do....
about the assuming male roles in lesbian relationships, as I'm not, I don't
really know for sure, but my lesbian friends assure me that it isn't.  There
are always exceptions, though; and I'm sure some lesbians do act masculine and
assume that type of role.  I just don't think it's the norm.>


>Before I get crucified, I would like to explain that I was brought up in a
>religious cult-type environment where I was taught that being homosexual was
>evil and that God hated this behavior.  Luckily, I broke away from this
>situation about five years ago, when I was thirty.  I have never really
>felt that God would hate someone who is different.  In fact, Jesus said we
>should love everyone and professed Christians should learn from Jesus'
>example that it is wrong to hate...we are all brothers (and sisters).  I
>continue to defend anyone who is looked down upon for being different than
>society dictates.  What I am getting at is that I really want to understand.
>I know that being gay is far more than a sexual preference....heterosexuals
>will say the same thing.  It is who they are; it is their life.  I really
>don't have any gay friends (or maybe I do, but just aren't aware).

Bisexuals say the same thing, too!  Much more than who you're having sex with,
as evinced by the fact that I have never had sex with a member of the same
sex, but still consider myself unquestionably bi.  And now you have some bi
friends, even if we're not gay per se.
>
>If anyone would like to respond to my questions, I would appreciate it.
>Again, my questions (though probably ignorant) are sincere.  By the way,
>my family and I have lived in Colorado Springs for just a few months.  I
>can't believe how intolerant people are here of others.  We are from the
>East coast where people seem to be more open-minded.  The religious
>influence here (with all the "Christians" groups who seem to be rather
>self-righteous) is a little hard to take.  Since being involved with that
>cult I mentioned above, I still haven't found any group that I wish to be
>part of.  I do believe in God -- a God who loves everyone for the person
>he/she is...what they believe in their hearts and how they treat others.
>If you know of a group who subscribes to this belief, please do let me know.
>
I don't know about a group of people out there like this, but I'm sure there
are more.  I know that I do.  I wouldn't believe in a God who hated me or
any of my friends because we're bi or lesbian or gay.  I just wouldn't care
to believe in him.  I  completely agree with you.
And, by the way, I believe this counts as your demuffining post,
so....
*pounce*
*nibble*
*munchmunch*
*HUG!!!*
Thanks for writing....always gives me warm fuzzies to know that there are
hets out there who love us too....
Zoe   


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