HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: st1ns@elroy.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Python's Lumberjack song.... maybe!
Date: 17 Dec 1992 21:18 CST
Organization: University of Houston
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: elroy.uh.edu
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    

In article <1992Dec14.131106.7172@pimacc.pima.edu>, tloftus@pimacc.pima.edu (RECLAIMER OF SPENT LOGIC) writes...
>>In article <28149@optima.cs.arizona.edu>, danmcd@cs.arizona.edu (Daniel L. McDonald) writes:
>>> 
>>> I need a definitive set of words to Monty Python's Lumberjack Song.  I
>>> know most of them, but I need to be sure.
>>> 
> 
>Not quite sure myself but here's what I can remember of that classic
>Michael Palin bit.

Your memory having suffered some bit decay, it wasn't quite smack on.
Close, but not exact.

The edited version below is from All The Words.
  (Indented verses by The Mountie Choir)
  (This version is exact, but see the note afterwards.)

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

  He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
  He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the the lavatory.
On Wednesday I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea.

  He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
  He goes to the lavatory.
  On Wednesday he goes shopping, and has buttered scones for tea.
  He's a lumberjack and he's OK, 
  He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wildflowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

  He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
  He likes to press wildflowers.
  He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars...?
  He's a lumberjack and he's OK
  He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels, 
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Mama!

  He cuts, down trees, he wears high heels, 
  (spoken rather than sung)  Suspendies... and a bra? 
  (They all mumble.  Music runs down.  The girl looks
   horrified and bursts into tears.  The choir starts 
   throwing rotten fruit at him.)

Girl:  Oh Bevis!  And I thought you were so rugged!

The script has the word "suspenders" but on the videotape
it's clear that they really pronounce it "suspendies", 
which makes more sense over here where "suspenders" hold 
up the trousers of those who dislike belts.  I believe
that what we call "suspenders" may be called "braces"
elsewhere, but I could be wrong.

I make a rotten lumberjack, and I guess I'm not OK.  And
high heels are a bitch to walk in.


  My wife went to Harvard and all I got was this lousy .sig!
      Russ Ault, aka st1ns@jetson.uh.edu 
      (For the moment, anyway.  I reserve the right to
       polymorph myself into something more formidable.)

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: LJ03933@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM
Subject: Xmas ascii (6)(a little rude)
Organization: Lockheed Missiles & Space Company, Inc.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 16:09:49 GMT

------------------------- Original Article -------------------------
                          /\
                         /  \
                        /    \
                       /      \
                      /  Life  \
                     /          \
                    /  is tough. \
                   /              \
                   ~~~~/      \~~~~
                      /        \
                     /          \
                    /    Life    \
                   /              \
                  /    is hard.    \
                 /                  \
                /                    \
                ~~~/              \~~~
                  /     Here's     \
                 /                  \
                /        your        \
               /                      \
              /        fucking         \
             /                          \
            /      Christmas card.       \
           /                              \
           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|  |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                         |  |
                         |__|              j.p.


--

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: muh@physics2 (Yury M. Mukharsky)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.soviet
Subject: Re: some Soviet emigre restaurant jokes
Date: 15 Dec 1992 22:09:24 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: physics2.berkeley.edu

In article <GOROKHO1.92Dec15162921@husc10.harvard.edu> gorokho1@husc10.harvard.edu (Zhenya Gorokhovsky) writes:
>hm@cs.brown.edu (Harry Mamaysky) writes:
>
>>> Kto nibud' znaet, gde vzroslo eto blednoe chudo? 
>>> Na prostorah Oklahomschiny ili na pomoikah NYC? Ili on vse 
>>> zhe sam sebja sechet?

>Do not worry that you have not understood it, Yuri's Russian is very 
>sloppy: he puts "ili vse zhe"  instead of "chto-li" or

I said exactly what I wanted to say. If you do not have a feel of Russian
language, do not interfere. "Vse zhe" is different from "Ili zhe".


>"Ili zhe on sam sebya sechet?" or "Sam on sebya vysek chto-li?"
>sounds a whole lot better, with second variant avoiding 
>ambiguity between words "sech'" (to cut) and "vysech'" (to whip or to spank)

Where do you see ambiguity? There is no ambiguity for as you call it 
"native speaker" here. At least if he "native reader" to smallest extent. 

And who told you that "unter-ofitser" means same as "policeman"?

Yury M.

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dlaro@lonestar.utsa.edu (David O. Laro)
Subject: Re: AGGIE
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 23:57:05 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.082053.1380@galaxy.gov.bc.ca> sringrose@galaxy.gov.bc.ca writes:
>
>>
>>
>> Au contrair, mon frere.  To be called an Aggie is one of the greatest honors on the planet!  ;>
>>
>> Q:  What do you call an Aggie five years after he graduates?
>> A:  BOSS!
>>
>>
>> Meredith Denton, Fightin' Texas Aggie classes of '89 and '92
>
>     Class of 89 and 92? what, you forgot and had to graduate again?
>    Would that be boss of the 7-11???
>
>Scott
>>
FORGOT?   Surely  you're thinking of Lena Guerrero, quote UT graduate unquote
who was head of the Texas Railroad Commission, appointed by our illustrious
governor, Ma Ferguson Richards......  SHE was the only person I'm aware of
who forgot when (or whether) (or IF) they had graduated from college.

Obviously, the above Aggie just liked A&M so well, a return engagement was
felt worthwhile.  Maybe even another degree, or two.  He's probably BOSS
already...  check when you go in next Monday morning...

OBJ:  Governor Ma Richards' thinking Lena could win the election anyway.

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle)
Subject: Re: Funny Riddle
Organization: Johns Hopkins University
Distribution: usa
Date: 17 Dec 92 15:53:26 GMT

eaeg160@orion.oac.uci.edu (Andy Wu) writes:


>A little polar bear keep bugging her mom on asking whether he's a
                                  ^^^                       ^^^^
WAIT! Are you saying the little polar bear's mother is a he, or
is a third party involved somehow in the story?

>little raccon or not.  Her mom said of course not, you're a polar
>bear.  But no matter how much the mom insisted and comfort the baby
>polar bear on his true identity, the baby polar bear still doesn't
>believe his mom.  Why is that?





















>Ans:  Because the baby polar bear always feels so cold all the time.

Hmm.  Either way, I don't get it



>Another one.  This one is really dumb
>What if president Lincoln is alive today, what is his effect on the U.S. Today?

















>Ans:  Total population plus one.

Must be Zen humor

>--
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Andy Wu                     The Three R's--REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE
>eaeg160@orion.oac.uci.edu
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PC OB J:  What do you get when you cross an Asian and an African-American?

A:  A car thief who can't drive.
From: s913579@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU (Visitor)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Wedding joke (aftermath of honeymoon)
Date: 12 Dec 1992 11:37:06 GMT
Organization: RMIT Computer Centre
NNTP-Posting-Host: minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au

Greetings,
I just read this off a login prompt on a local machine -

	The newly married husband awakes to order breakfast for two in the
	honeymoon suite.

	Husband: Could you also supply some lettuce, please?

	Service: Why do you want lettuce, sir? That is a little unusual 
	for breakfast.

	Husband: I just want to know if she ate like a rabbit too.

Boom Bomm!!! Well I thought it was cute anyway.

				Caviar Dreams
				Visitor

-- 
+----s913579@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU---Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology---+
|    _/   "Music is like directing sounds theatrically, moulding them into    |
|   _/_/   landscapes.. I wanted to link my music to places, architectural    |
|  _/_/_/  environments and visual techniques."                - J.M.Jarre    | 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: LJ03933@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM
Subject: Xmas ascii (5)
Organization: Lockheed Missiles & Space Company, Inc.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 16:07:23 GMT

      .           \|/ .                   .                    .
  .      .    .   - * -   .        .            .          .
 .  .      .    .  /|\        .         .           .            .     .
   .     .    .     .        .   .         .             .         .  .
   .  .     . ^    . Vv   Vv   Vv   Vv       .         .     .       .
.   .      x  O      o,   o,   o,   o,       .      .    .      .
.        /(_){-}+--===--===--===--===    .        .          .      .
  .      \=====/   > >  > >  > >  > >      .           .  .    .     .
.     .     .       .         .                 .           .     .
    .    .       .        .          .   .           .         .     .
.          .   .       .        .        .        .          .      .
 .     .           .    ^    .    .   ^       .         .      .     . /
                       /|\           /|\                              /
#### ^ ############ ## /|\ ##  ##### /|\ #####################       /
##  /|\ ########## ^  #####   ^    ################################ / 
#   /|\ ######### /|\####### /|\ ####   #### ^ ####  #############  |
## #### ## ^   #  /|\ ###### /|\ #### ^ ### /|\ #  ^  ##########    |  _
########  /|\ ###################### /|\ ## /|\ # /|\ ##        +===| [_]
#######   /|\  ####################  /|\ #######  /|\           +---|
##########################################################################

         Merry   Christmas   to  all,  and  to  all  a  good  Night !
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: LJ03933@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM
Subject: Calvin ascii
Organization: Lockheed Missiles & Space Company, Inc.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 16:01:10 GMT

------------------------- Original Article -------------------------


                      @@          @@@
                     @ @        @@  @
               @@    @ @      @@  @@
               @@   @  @     @   @    @@
               @ @  @  @  @@@    @  @@
               @ @ @@  @ @@     @  @    @@@
               @ @@    @@@      @ @    @
               @  @             @@  @@@
         @@   @@                        @@@@
           @  @    @                   @@  @@@
           @  @   @
           @  @  @@     @@@@@@@   @@@@@
           @     @     @@     @@ @@   @@@
      @@   @@          @                @
        @@                    @    @    @
          @                   @@   @@    @
          @@                  @@   @@    @
       @@                     @@   @@    @
         @@     @@@           @@ @@@@    @
          @@                     @   @   @
           @                         @   @
        @@@@   @@@@                 @@   @
                                  @@@    @
                                        @@
          @@@@@                           @
          @   @          @@@@@@@ @@@@@@    @
               @        @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   @
             @@@       @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   @
            @@         @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   @
            @          @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   @
            @          @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@    @
            @          @@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@    @
            @@          @@@  @  @@@@@@    @
             @@@        @@@     @@@@@    @
               @@@@@@    @@    @@@@@    @
                    @@    @@   @@@@@   @
                     @@    @@@@@@@@   @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
                      @@    @@@@     @@    @@  @@  @
                    @@@ @@          @  @   @@  @@  @     @@@
                  @@@     @        @    @  @@  @@  @    @@  @
               @@@@@@     @@@   @@@     @  @@  @@  @@@@ @   @
             @@@    @  @@@@ @@@@@       @  @@  @@  @  @@@@  @
            @  @@   @@@@@              @@@ @@  @@  @        @
     @@    @@  @@@   @@            @@@@@@@  @@ @@@ @       @@
    @  @   @@   @@    @       @@@@@@@@   @  @@  @@ @       @
    @  @ @@@@@  @@@   @   @@@@@@@        @  @@  @@ @@@@@@  @
    @   @@   @@  @@   @@@@@@@            @@@@@  @@ @    @  @@
    @        @@  @@    @@@            @@@@@@@@@@@@@@   @@   @
    @@    @@@ @@  @@   @         @@@@@@@@ @            @ @  @
   @      @    @  @@  @@@  @@@@@@@        @            @@@  @
   @      @    @@   @@  @ @@@@            @@              @ @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
From: pes@vax5.cit.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Car acronyms: old list
Date: 13 Dec 92 00:22:54 EST
Distribution: rec
Organization: Cornell University


These are off the net from a while back I left off the BMWs

AUDI - Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.

BUICK - Big, Ugly, Import Car Killer

CHEVROLET - Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled
            Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips

CHEVY - Charged HEaVilY

CHEVY - Cheapest Heap Envisioned Yet

Chevy Novas are actually designed by Toyota: Chevota or Toyolet?

DATSUN - Disgracful Auto That Stalls UNceasingly 

DODGE - Driven Only During Grey Evenings

DODGE - Drips Oil, Drips Gas Everywhere

FIAT - Fails In Attemped Turns

FIAT - Fix It Again Tony

FIAT - Fine Italian Automotive Technology

FORD - Fought Off Recall Demands

FORD - Found On Road Dead

FORD LTD - Found on road dying, Left to die.

FORD - F___er Only Runs Downhill 

FORD - Fix Or Repair Daily

FORD - First On Race Day

FORD - First On Rust Developement

FORD - Fork Over Repair Dough

GEO - Good Engineering Overlooked

GMC - Get More Chicks

GMC - Garage Mechanic's Companion

JEEP - Junk  Engineered Executed Poorly

LTD - Laughable, Trash Dump

MAZDA - My! Another Zany Detroit Asassin!

OLDS - Old Ladies Driving Slowly

PINTO - Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

PLYMOUTH - Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, all Underestimating This Heap

PONTIAC - Pours Out Noxious Toxins In American Cities

PONTIAC - Poor Old Nick Thinks It's A Cadilac

SAAB - Sad Attempt At Beauty

SAAB - Sorry Auto, Always Broken
                 
SUBARU - Screwed up beyond all repair usually.

TRIUMPH - This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!

TRIUMPH - Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!

TRIUMPH - The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily

Toyota - TOYAUTO

TOYOTA - Towed Often, Yearly Overrunning Triple A


Please send me any  Honda, Porshe, or others I don't have.

Paul Speicher:  PES@Cornellc.cit.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Test
From: Dimitri Vulis <DLVGC@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Date: Monday, 14 Dec 1992 01:31:22 EST
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center

In article <2312@sjfc.UUCP>, dmc@sjfc.UUCP (Cass Dan) says:
>
>In article <ByvLyF.MBt@news.ucs.mun.ca> jfarrell@morgan.ucs.mun.ca (James
>Farrell) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron Huang)
>writes:
>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (Vilas
>Khare) writes:
>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
>>That's not very nice. You're just being sore.
>Your dad's a computer. Your mom is a whore.
Hey! We're all posting, and who's minding the store?

Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes
From: andy@cbnewsh.cb.att.com (andy.russo)
Subject: Re: someone finish these songs - offensive to puritans, homosexuals (rot 13)
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories - Holmdel, NJ - Jello Studies Group
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 22:00:51 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor.d
Summary: OFFENSIVE - Christmas, Sexual
Keywords: new words for Christmas Songs


Va negvpyr <874@oyhr.pvf.cvgg.rqh> onone+@cvgg.rqh (Wbatth Zbba) jevgrf:
>
>Puvczhaxf ebnfgvat ba na bcra sver
>Wnpx Sebfg evccvat bss lbhe abfr
>... ?

Lbh sbetbg gur nyy-gvzr pynffvp: "Fnagn Pynhf Jvyy Pbzr Va Lbhe Zbhgu"
Gura gurer'f "Ur Pnzr Hcba N Zvqavtug, Dhrre"

Naql (V'z Abg Na Nguvrfg, Ohg V Cynl Bar Ba GI) Ehffb
# "Lbh Pna Cynl Jvgu Jbeqf, Be Lbh Pna Cynl Jvgu Lbhefrys.  Juvpu Vf Vg?"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: petitc@vccnw01.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: car acronyms
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 17:04:45 GMT

mfrazer@scott.skidmore.edu (The Wombat) writes:

>ALFA - Another Lousy Foreign Auto
>SAAB - Saabs Are Always Broken

 BMW  = Bullshit More Workers

 PORSCHE = Pathetic Or Really Stupid Car for Home and is Expensive


 

 
-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Somalia
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 11:39:41 PST
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

Okay, so what happended to all the Ethiopian jokes?

--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
From: andra@cs.widener.edu (Robert Andracsek)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Confucious Says..................................
Date: 14 Dec 1992 21:51:38 -0500
Organization: Widener University CS Department, Chester PA
NNTP-Posting-Host: maggie.cs.widener.edu

In article <1gdtekINN93k@cascade.cs.ubc.ca> jwu@cs.ubc.ca (Joseph Wu) writes:
 >(Dave ) writes:
 >>Confucious say:
 >>"He who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with smelly finger."
 >
 >No, no, no...
 >The correct translation (since the Chinese form is a rhyming
 >couplet) is this:
 >
 >Confucious say, 
 >   "He who sleep with itchy bum,
 >    He will wake with smelly thumb."
So it ain't a couplet, but:

Man who go to bed with stiff proposition
Wake up with solution well in hand.


-- 
|R. Andracsek  |  e-mail: andra@cs.widener.edu  |  Voice: kinda deep...  
|  Coach:"Do you think losing is funny?!?"
|  Player:"Not at first, but once you get the hang of it..."
|                 ---The Mighty Ducks
From: bd344@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Michael N Bastedo)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: WANTED: David Letterman Top Ten Lists
Date: 13 Dec 1992 17:39:38 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: bd344@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Michael N Bastedo)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, hayashi@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Warren Bocho Hayashi) says:

>
>	 Can someone please mail me a list of Letterman's Top Ten for ....
>Thanks in advance.
>
>Warren
>hayashi@xenon.stanford.edu
>
>


Could you post this please?  Thanks
Mike
-- 
Michael N. Bastedo                       ! Linda A. Holmes 
Internet: bd344@cleveland.freenet.edu    ! 
          smb2866@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu  ! slh3859@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu
Bitnet:   smb2866@oberlin                ! slh3859@oberlin
From: cn566@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jeremy W. Burgeson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Wanted: Ways to Say Someone's Crazy
Date: 12 Dec 1992 19:18:44 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


Drain Bammage
From: dlovely@meaddata.com (David Lovely)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Help me with a shenanigan!
Date: 17 Dec 1992 01:02:04 GMT
Organization: Mead Data Central, Dayton OH
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: tteam.meaddata.com

In article <Bz5wnz.7HD@willamette.edu>, bbrown@willamette.edu (Brian Brown) writes:
|> I need your help to perpetrate a shennanigan on one of my friends.  He
|> sent me the following invitation to Bill Clinton's Inagural Beer Bash, and
|> convinced the mail system that it was Bill Clinton who sent it.  Of
|> course, Bill Clinton (bclinton) is a null address.  I know who did it, but
|> he just acts suspicious and won't admit it.  Therefore, I call upon you
|> out there in Net Land to write some mail to him, responding to the Beer
|> Bash.  Say whatever you like -- accept the invitation, decline it,
|> denounce it for not including minority beverages or whatever.  Use your
|> creativity.  His address is:
|> 
|> ksmith@willamette.edu
|> 
|> Thank you for your help!!  Here is the invitation (I think it origionally
|> came from Rush Limbaugh, but I can't confirm that):
|> 

[flyer deleted]

You are correct!  Rush took a page out of David Letterman's book and posted a
flyer for the Inagural Beer Bash several places in New York City.  A cameraman went
out to record the reaction of passers-by.  The origial flyer resembled a fraternity party
announcement complete with the tear-off phone number 900/LIBERAL at the bottom.
The puzzled looks of passers-by were hilarious!

-- 
*******************************************************************************
David P. Lovely					      BOYCOTT BARBRA STREISAND!
Mead Data Central	       Don't Blame Me.  I didn't vote for Slick Willie.
Dayton, Ohio						       Vote KEMP in 96!

"Government isn't the solution to our problems, government IS the problem!"
	-Ronald W. Reagan

		NO DISCLAIMER NEEDED (Nobody claims me anyway!)
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: trevor_w@aci_1.aci.ns.ca (TREVOR WOLFE)
Subject: jokes
Summary: please post any jokes thought of,please
Keywords: anything
Organization: Atlantic Computer Institute
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 13:23:34 GMT

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: petitc@vccnw05.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: LIMRICK
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 05:01:51 GMT

record@force.ssd.lmsc.lockheed.com writes:

>In article <BzCvz2.GDw@cs.dal.ca>, franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>>In <1ghiflINNel4@mercury.kingston.ac.uk> cs_e373@ceres (Matthew Simpkin) writes:
>>
>>>There once was a lady from Ham,
>>>Who wanted to ride on a tram,
>>>When she kissed the conductor,
>>>He turned round and fuc*ed her,
>>>And now she is pushing a pram.
>>
>>There once was a fellow named Matthew
>>Who's spelling was awful but grant you,
>>His rhyme was no better,
>>He forgot a letter,
>>It's limerick, but spell as you want to.
>>-- 

>The limerick you wrote, I have read it
>I hope never before you have said it
>For it was not funny
>It can't be worth money
>And what's more, I might add, I DON'T GET IT!!!

The limerick, its answer is easy.
Though the pun is rather cheezy.
The way it's writ,
The joke's explicit.
Look at the last word---it's easy.

-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: drizzt@spock.uucp (Neela Jacques)
Subject: coins
Organization: Choate Rosemary Hall
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 18:05:42 GMT


How can you make 40 cents out of only two coins?





















get two Australian 20 cent coins. HaHa!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cei352@cck.coventry.ac.uk (The Freak)
Subject: THIS IS JUST A TEST
Organization: The Place where Godiva rode in the nudie
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 16:34:52 GMT

   This is just a test.
-- 
      **************************************************************** 
      ****************  cei352@uk.ac.coventry.cck  *******************
      *  It only takes a rumour to bring the downfall of a kingdom.  *
      **********************  THE FREAK  *****************************
Newsgroups: rec.humor