From: melindac@thedarktower.Corp.Sun.COM (I Shop therefore I AM!!)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: re Oriental bias against Indians ? How true ?
Date: 8 Apr 92 17:15:57 GMT
Reply-To: melindac@thedarktower.Corp.Sun.COM (I Shop therefore I AM!!)
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.  Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: thedarktower.corp.sun.com


	vishram@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Vishram P.Dalvi) :
	> Hi SCAA readers,

Hi Vishram!  :^)

	> This friend just asked me to FORGET THE GIRL. He told me that
	> no Oriental girl will go for an Indian. 
	> ....
	> Also the families are very conservative ... and so the parents 
	> approve of their daughters dating only other Orientals  (This 
	> didn't surprise me much because a lot of Indian families here 
	> have the same mentality) and a lot of girls, respecting their 
	> parents, will abide by their wishes !
	> ....
	> This revelation upset me very much (not just because I liked
	> the girl) because I am raised in India in a very free atmosphere
	> and my parents have been very liberal in my upbringing and I was 
	> never fed any racist or sexist ideas. My parents never restricted 
	> my friends or girlfriends to any specific race/religion or 
	> language, nor has any restriction ever been placed on whom I can 
	> marry (though they would definitely be more happy if I marry an 
	> Indian girl !).

You've been very fortunate to have such good parents and it could be
possible that this Asian woman that you're interested in had the same
upbringing.

I gather from the information in your post that you took the advice of 
your friends and decided not to ask her out. I think this is a little 
unfair; after all, how do you know she won't want to go out with you? 
I think you've already made up your mind that she's just like your 
friends describe without actually finding out for yourself. You might be
pleasantly surprised.

From my own experience, my parents would also be very happy if I dated
and married a Chinese man but they know I'm very happy with my non-Asian
boyfriend of 6 years so they have accepted it (they also like him very much)
and they only want me to be happy. 

Vishram, you and I are very fortunate to have been raised in such an 
unrestricted and loving manner so I would like to advise you to ask this
lady out to truly find out what her feelings are about dating Indians.

Who knows - this could be the beginning of a beautiful romance.  ;^)

	> SO the very idea of a bias repulsed me and set me thinking on 
	> whether this would be true and WHY ?

You'll find that *in general* there will be prejudices of some sort
among all races. In my experience, I have never encounted other Chinese
people with prejudices against Indians, but again, that's just been
my experience. Among my family and friends, there are certain ethnic
groups where it would be scandalous to consider dating (no, I won't 
specify which ones). If this were the case with me, I know my parents
would have a hard time at first but if they saw I was happy then they
would accept it. My grandparents and other relatives would be another
story.  :^)

	> My personal experience has been that Caucasian women are very
	> liberal when it comes to social interaction but Orientals are a bit
	> restricted but I wouldn't say that I have found an overt bias as such.

I think it depends on what generation of Asians you're dealing with too:	
I think each successive generation becomes more liberal.

	Melinda