From: mtaranto@shearson.com (Mark Taranto)
Subject: A history of the O'Tooles (Was Re: Yo, read please...
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 22:06:45 GMT


In r.a.p, ieeug470@Eagle.oscs.montana.edu writes:

> By the way, what is an O'Toole and how did they invade this newsgroup??

It is strange that this question should come up at this time.  I have just
completed the introduction to my book:

        A HISTORY OF THE O'TOOLES
        From Atlantis to Green and Beyond

        Mark Allen Taranto
        Guns & Literature Press
        St. Paul
        $19.95 (Hardback)


Although this does not involve poetry, I post this in r.a.p because the
question was asked there.  I also post to r.a.b, because it pleases me.

Mark




The introduction follows:

-----------------------------------------------------------------

                        A HISTORY OF THE O'TOOLES
                     From Atlantis to Green and Beyond


                              Introduction


With the rise of Modern O'Toolism, there has been great need to study
the history and the myth of the O'Tooles.  The conflicting reports of
their activities, many planted by the O'Tooles themselves, have only
added to the confusion.

In this study, I endeavor to separate the myth from the factual.  The
book is broken up into four sections and an appendix.  A brief outline
follows:


        Section I       The Tenets Of O'Toolism

                        In this section, I explain the tenets of
                        the O'Toole movement.  Chief among them
                        are a love of the arts, and symbolism in
                        art.

        Section II      Early history of the O'Tooles

                        This section describes the myths of the Atlantean
                        culture which surround this once secret society.
                        Subsequent chapters in the section describe the
                        movement during the middle ages, the Renaisance,
                        and on through the mid-20th century.

        Section III     The Green years -- The New Messiah

                        This section takes up the bulk of the book.
                        The first chapter describes Joe Green's
                        introduction to the O'Tooles.  The following
                        chapters describe how Joe Green (known as
                        Josef O'Toole to his followers and compatriots)
                        spread the word of O'Toolism, and describes his
                        fall and eventual banishment.

        Section IV      The Hope Of The Future

                        This section describes the events since the
                        departure of Josef O'Toole, and some possible
                        scenarios for the future, including the possibility
                        of Josef's return from the dead.

        Appendix        The appendix includes descriptions of the O'Toole
                        ceremonies. It also includes details of the official
                        garb with 32 pockets, the blue topaz ring of the
                        O'Tooles, and the martini with two olives.


If I may, I would like to describe how I became the historian of the
O'Tooles.  While I am not an O'Toole, my fascination with the cult
became heightened by my association with Joe Green.  I watched as Modern
O'Toolism rose, phoenix-like, from the ashes of its firey past.

Joe Green is the architect of Modern O'Toolism.  From his offices at the
headquarters of Guns & Literature, Joe went looking for his disciples in
a place where he knew that he would find Lovers of Art.  He decided to
find the next generation of O'Tooles in rec.arts.poems, an electronic
forum for discussing poetry.  "The heart of the O'Toole is the heart
of a poet," he once told me.  After a trial by fire, he chose several
candidates.  As an exercise, to determine their worthiness, he bestowed
O'Toole names upon them, and asked them to flesh out their personas.

In the ensuing months, O'Toolomania struck the news group.  There were
discussions about the future of Modern O'Toolism.  Some wanted the society
to remain in secret.  Others wished to spread the Good News of the O'Tooles.

Around this time, I met the great founder of Modern O'Toolism.  Soon,
other O'Tooles were telling me their innermost thoughts about the
movement.  I was encouraged to join, but wished to stay on the outside
looking in.  This was the golden age of O'Toolism, capped by Josef's
epic WELL MET IN MINNESOTA.  This epic told of my transmogrification
during our meeting which was due, I swear, to the WHITE WINE which he
had made from water.

By now, the Modern O'Toole movement was in need of further leadership.
Josef offered a senior membership to Bertie O'Toole, from rec.arts.books.
Josef knew of his impending doom.  When I met with him in Minnesota,
he predicted his eventual demise, and worried about the future of the
movement.  He felt that Bertie would add life to the movement.  He was
right.  Bertie's arrival, together with my expose of the apparent sychopantic
nature of the O'Toole disciples in the r.a.books article LITERARY DINING,
spawned a renaissance among the Modern O'Tooles.

Soon, the O'Toole disciples were no longer looking towards Josef for
guidance, but had raised themselves to the level of Archangel (The levels
of the O'Tooles are named after the choirs of angels).  Minor epics by
Candlestick O'Toole, Posthumous O'Toole, Captain O'Toole show great
promise.  The lyrical work of Reluctant O'Toole, with its assonant nature,
is loved by many, although only a few know that it is the work of an O'Toole.

Josef knew that his work was completed.  The O'Tooles are thriving on their
own.

There are persistent rumors that Josef O'Toole will return from the dead.
When he does, I hope he brings me more of that WHITE WINE.

Cocktail?

                        Mark Allen Taranto
                        New York
                        August, 1992


Newsgroups: rec.arts.poems