Newsgroups: soc.motss,alt.politics.homosexuality
From: rhayden@oracle.com (Ronald Hayden)
Subject: Re: Call/Fax/Write Fernandez
Organization: Oracle Corporation, Belmont, Ca.
	<1hd9uaINN9p8@hp-col.col.hp.com>
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 19:33:24 GMT
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In article <1hd9uaINN9p8@hp-col.col.hp.com> smithw@col.hp.com (Walter Smith) writes:

   rhayden@oracle.com (Ronald Hayden) writes:
   > I know my family.  When I contacted them recently, my siblings tell me
   > that my mother was more excited than she had ever been -- she wanted
   > me home for christmas.  Then she got a letter from me, making it clear
   > that sexuality is a part of my life, and is not going away.  

   I've read this part over a few times, and don't know if I really 
   understand the meaning.  (sexuality is a part of my life).   

By this I mean that being gay is not "a phase", is not going away, and
is not something that I will just pretend doesn't exist in order to
keep from offending somebody.

   > It seems like some people want to have it both ways -- they want to
   > judge, yet not have the consequences that come with judging.  In my
   > opinion, people who "think homosexuality is wrong but treat
   > homosexuals just the same" are avoiding something.  They aren't
   > dealing with internal issues (about religion, about life).  They just
   > want to whistle past the sexuality issue and have everything else
   > remain the same.

   Here's the S word again, and again I'm not sure I'm grasping all 
   of its meaning here.  What is the sexuality issue?   

Sexuality meaning the full range of sexuality.  Whatever a person's
sexuality (in other words, sexual orientation).  Perhaps replacing my
use of 'sexuality' with 'sexual orientation' would make for more
accurate phrasing...

   > Parents who don't completely reject their
   > child sometimes come to this point, realizing that there is nothing
   > wrong with the child, they have to look at the rest of their beliefs.
   > And if they do so honestly, that often leads to changes in themselves.
   > Sometimes they leave their church (if the church is telling them
   > things about their child that they know are untrue),

   Which leads to the question, if tolerence isn't enough; if acceptance 
   is what is desired, how is this to be accomplished with the bulk of 
   western churches teaching that it is unacceptable?   How can people 
   who believe in their religion be convinced that it is OK, if their 
   religion teaches it is not?  ie; how will the desired goal of acceptance 
   coexist with the churches, and the people in them?  Will the churches 
   have to change their teaching on homosexuality?  

This question doesn't mean much to me.  Sure it would be nice if
churches changed their teachings, but it's not required.  Right now
many churches preach against abortion, some against birth contol.  Yet
an overwhelming majority of people (including those who attend those
churches) disagree and defy their church on these issues.  My guess is
that this means the churches will eventually change their doctrine, to
keep from losing the people.  (The Catholic church is losing young
people at a very high rate right now...)

But the phrasing of "will the churches *have* to" is kind of
confusing.

   > I often recommend this book, and I'll do it again.  It's called Beyond
   > Acceptance, and it's written by parents from P-FLAG (Parents and
   > Friends of Lesbians and Gays).  It mostly consists of pieces of
   > interviews with parents as they go through the process of dealing with
   > their child's sexuality.

   Think a public library would have this one?

Depends on the library, I suppose.  But a good one would.
--

  - Ronald Hayden

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   | Documentation Manager, Oracle Toolkit Group                    |
   | Co-chair of Oracle Lambda, Oracle's Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual group |
   | Writer, magician, and various other things                     |
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Newsgroups: soc.motss