From: shaw@au-bon-pain.lcs.mit.edu (Andy Shaw)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Don't attack Dwight; pity him ... for his own sake.
Date: 5 Jan 93 00:11:44 GMT
Organization: MIT Lab for Computer Science, Cambridge, Mass.

In article <43021@sdcc12.ucsd.edu> mcovingt@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Maiko Covington) writes:
	   Hey... Japanese school isn't as bad as that school in Taiwan
   depicted here, but... Japanese school DOES have its share of
   corporal punishment. I don't know if Dwight went to Japanese schools
                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
   or not, but if he did, I'm sure he will remember being made to clean
   ^^^^^^
   the school (including the toilets) every day, being made to sit on
   the knees on the hard floor of the hallway with a perfectly straight
   back if you get in small trouble (and if you don't sit correctly the
   teacher might slap you), holding buckets of water in the hallway,
   etc etc. I went to Japanese school, I think it is a good system for
   the most part, but these punishments have got to be changed, IMHO.
   Remember getting your grades read out in front of the class?

This is close to becoming an urban myth.  Dwight did not go to school in
Japan -- he can barely write a grammatical Japanese sentence.  He has maybe
worked in Japan for a summer or two as a programmer, where he once went to
the Hard Rock Cafe in Tokyo, where he saw some white guy groping
("octopusing" as he put it) some poor defenseless Japanese girl.  He was
not amused, and in fact, was rather incensed.

He is not Japanese -- he is a Chinese American.  Like many other Americans
enamoured of East Asian cultures, he is probably trying to run away from a
culture, a community or a family which he feels has rejected him.  He
probably got laid by some Japanese girl who took pity on him, and now has
an obsession with Japanese girls, resulting from low self-esteem, and a
mistaken belief that he probably won't get laid by anyone else -- another
common pattern.  He needs to brush up on his manners, since asking someone
whether they look cute in their panties, and to sleep with him is _not_ any
less rude when said in first-year Japanese than it is in English.

He does not think the Japanese are perfect -- in fact, he knows that they
are often quite racist, and generally do not believe he is a "real"
American because he is of Chinese ancestry.  His knowledge of Japan,
Japanese culture, Japanese people, and Japanese is not nearly as good as he
would like you to think.  Kind of sad, actually.

Japanese people he has met wonder whether he is an asshole, or whether he's
just a normal American -- lucky for him, there's probably not much
difference in the eyes of the average Japanese.  (And after living in Japan
for a while, you'd probably think the same thing.)  

He could probably be an engaging guy, with no problems with his social life
if he mellowed out and stopped thinking that his race was the root of all
his problems.  He is a pitiful and extreme example of what the brainwashing
of American media and culture can do to an Asian American when combined
with unsupportive and physically and mentally abusive parents.  He just
needs to be loved and accepted for who he is, and realize that he really
_can_ be an American and of Chinese ancestry at the same time.

Dwight should be pitied and supported, instead of attacked -- he invites
the attacks by doing his best to bait those he views as surrogates for his
abusive parents: other people of Chinese ancestry.  He attempts to
aggravate them until they attack him out of frustration, but those attacks
are what he *wants*.  With each attack he provokes, he reassures himself of
the evil of his own background and of his parents.  Such self-abusive,
neurotic behavior is common in adults who were abused children and people
who enter abusive relationships -- the abuse is often the only attention
they receive, and the only love they understand.

To break out of the cycle of abuse, Dwight must receive support, not hate,
concern, not anger.  He is, figuratively speaking, our little brother gone
astray.  Incessant attacks on him show relative immaturity, and lack of
compassion and understanding -- just as his own baiting and provocative
behavior shows the problems with his own personality and behavior.  Logic
and reason are not the answer, nor are venomous counterattacks -- simple
compassion, understanding, unconditional acceptance are.  (And if you can't
take pity on Dwight, take pity on his future children -- if he is not
cured, his children will continue in the cycle of abuse, self-loathing, and
despair.)

With love and acceptance to my Asian American brother Dwight,

Andy