From: Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark)
Subject: The Night B4 Chri$tma$
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 1992 22:37:00 GMT

        Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat,
        The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
        The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
        It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
        Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
        Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube,
        When out on the lawn there arose such a cry
        That I lost my boner and Momma went dry.
        Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
        Tore back the shade, while she played with herself.
        The moon on the breast of the snowman we'd built,
        Showed a broom up the ass, clean up to the hilt.
        When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
        But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.
        With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
        A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
        Sure as I'm speaking he was high as a kite,
        And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
        Either slow down this rig, or I'll cut off your nuts.
        Look out for that lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
        Quit shakin the sleigh, cause I gotta pee.
        They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
        Just as Santa leaned out and ralphed on my shrub.
        And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
        As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
        I was donning my jockies to cover my ass,
        When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
        His suit was all smelly with perform galour,
        He looked like a bum and smelt like a whore.
        That was some brothel he said with a smile,
        The reindeer are all pooped so I'll just stay awhile.
        He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink,
        Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
        I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
        The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
        Back in the den Santa reached in his sack
        But his toys were all gone and some new things were packed.
        The first thing he found was a false pair of tits,
        Then next was a hand gun with a penis that spits.
        A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
        And six pair of undies, the edible kind.
        A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
        And several more things I should not even mention.
        A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
        And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.
        This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs Claus will shit,
        So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.
        He filled every stocking and then took his leave
        With one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve.
        He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
        Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
        In time he was seated, took reins of his hitch,
        Saying, Take me home, Rudolph, this night's been a bitch."
        The sleigh was near gone when I heard Santa shout,
        "The best thing 'bout pussy is you can't wear it out!"


        Credit:         Dreamer - 4Play BBS Vancouver, Canada


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