From: reece@eco.twg.com (Reece R. Pollack)
Subject: Stupid Pilot Trick Awards
Reply-To: reece@eco.twg.com (Reece R. Pollack)
Organization: The Wollongong Group (East Coast Operations)
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 92 17:20:09 GMT


I have three nominees for the "Stupid Pilot Trick of the Month Award.


Nominee #1:

Saturday afternoon I was sitting in my back yard watching the clouds go by,
hoping they'd lift a little (but not too much) so I could get some actual
IMC during my IFR lesson Sunday afternoon. Off in the distance I could hear
the sound of an airplane engine running, slowly getting louder.

"I wonder where he's going," I thought, since Gaithersburg was below IFR
approach minimums. As I listened, the sound got louder and louder. Then
I spotted him: a Lake (or a similar amphibian), maybe 400-500 AGL, just
beneath the overcast. As he thundered overhead I tried to catch his tail
number, but I couldn't.

For those of you who aren't from the Md/DC/NoVa area, the area he was flying
over is definitely a "densely populated area". No wonder no one wants an
airport in the neighborhood.


Nominee #2:

On my way back from Wilmington DE (ILG) on Sunday, I heard the rather chilling
sound of a pilot (NxxCB, and I missed the type) reporting that he'd lost his
gyros in IMC. He requested no-gyro vectors to the Fredrick (FDK) ILS 23
approach. Baltimore Approach asked him if he'd rather come to BWI (RADAR
coverage at FDK only goes to about 2500'), but he seemed confident that he
could make FDK.

After a few "NxxCB, Turn Left/Right...Stop Turn" type procedures, Balto asked
him if he had the localizer. He replied, "My gauges are all cattywhompered,
and every turn I make makes it worse." Balto again asked if he had the
localizer, and he said yes. A couple of minutes later, they asked him again,
and he answered, "Yes. Affirmative. Roger. I have the localizer." A minute
later Balto asked again, again he said yes, then Balto said, "Are you sure?
We show you a mile outbound from FDK. What are your intentions?"

By this time, my instructor is bouncing off the cabin walls, screaming into
the intercom, "You fool, go to BWI and get an ASR approach!!!" We figure he
had an HSI and RMI, and no conventional nav heads, since this would explain
why the turns would screw up his localizer indications. But back to the story...

Up until now, I could sort-of agree with the other pilot, although with
my level of experience I'd probably have headed straight to BWI. Now he
makes the decision which earned his nomination. "Baltimore, we'd like to
make another try at FDK." Fortunately for my instructor's nerves, Balto
had other ideas. "NxxCB, we're bringing you to BWI, where I can get RADAR
coverage."

Shortly after this, we were switched to another frequency for the VOR 14
approach to GAI, so I don't know the final fate of Charlie Bravo. I didn't
see anything in the newspaper, so I assume he didn't roll it up into a
ball, but I'm not sure where he ended up.


Nominee #3:

This one is second hand. After returning to GAI, I was told about a twin
which had just left the field. Seems he'd forgotten to put the gear down
on approach last week, and had discovered it when the prop tips started
bending.  Somehow he managed a go-around (the last pilot who tried that
barbecued himself and his wife), dropped the gear, and landed safely.

Not too terribly stupid, you may think, but the only work he did to the
airplane was to replace the props. No work was done on the engines at all.
I don't know who actually did the prop replacement, so unfortunately the
story must end here.


As the ad goes, "Some days are better than others..."

Anyone else have any nominations?

--
Reece R. Pollack
PP-ASEL -- Octopus Flying Club (based GAI)
Learning a lot by example...