From: vijay@wiliki.eng.hawaii.edu (Vijay Fafat)
Subject: Indian English
Organization: University of Engineering, College of Engineering
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 01:31:01 GMT


With all the net-talk on Indian accents and Indian English, here's an article
I found in Indian Express last year.

---- Vijay


Be Indian, Bye Indian
         Raja Bhasin

It may well be said that by leaving the English language behind in India,
The Raj has received its proverbial come-uppance. As my patriotic cells seethe
and simmer, I must declare that we Indians have our own twists and turns to sort
 out as we madly careen over a language we have made almost our own.
    "Rabi" and "Kharif" are'nt the neighbour's children. "Lathi" is not an
exotic aperitif. "Bandh" is not a belt with a buckle missing. "Dhaba" is not
aunt Emily's neurotic cat. These are but a few desi words that freely mix
with Queen's English in the Newspapers in India.
    That you are called "Uncleji" and "Auntiji" does not mean you are being 
dragged into the family fold. It is, more simply, a convenient form of address.
That an office sign declares, "Entrance from Backside" does not mean you have
to start wondering what it's al about. And you need'nt photograph for a 
souvenir a barber' sign in my home town, as it happily proclaims,
   "Handsome is who handsome does and handsome looks"
   "Do come agents! Do come ladies!!"
   "You come once, you come twice, you come again and again!"
   " Bleeching! Fazial!! Waxing!!!"
   "Henna rins! Threading!! Haircut!!!"
   " For appointment with much lovely and beauty"
   "Contact 2 days before your cutting"
   "His and Hers Beauty saloon. Cheap and Best"

Now consider this statement I once encountered in an essay:
  "Issac New Ton is great scientist. In India, apple falls on head and he go 
back to invent Gravity. He is friend and follower of Mahatma Gandhi in fight 
for freedom.There is a statue to him with long coat and long hair. He great man.
 
And the cow one :
   "A cow has 2 horns with sharp points and Bull between tham. It has 4 legs and
stands on its own feet". It ended with a touch of logic, "A cow gives milk
which we drink. Therefore, it is our mother."

In speech, many words have had their consonants and vowels rendered redundant.
As in "sec-tariat" for "secreteriat". "Go-mint" for "Government" has made the government spineless.
   We Indians love the words with a lilt, as in South India, when someone
spells "Marconi" as " Yum - Yay- Yar.." and ends with a sharp "Yie".There is
no need to check if he has sprained his ankle.
  As multicoloured trucks race across the land, they carry a vocabulary of their own. The battered Road King or Road Ripper, as the case may be, overtakes you
with a murderous lurch and as you fork a mouthful after monoxide-flavoured
mouthful of good highway dust, somewhere above the dangling shoe, you find a 
cheerful, "OK, Tata". On the sides is a supermarket choice for the picking.
Like, for a small family, "v-2, R-2". Or this; "Smiling gives you smart".
Nor can you miss, "Be Indian, bye Indian". The real killer, of course, is,
" O evil-eyed person, may your face be blackened"
   If you pluck at the family tree, there is a definite advancement. Gone
are the days when snide quotes were the standard stock of Anglo-Indian humour.
There was this ancestor who sent, "I am in the well. Hope you are also in the
well". Or equally distinguished is the one who telegraphed home after an
earthquake, "Here, the earth is quack. How there?". Then the famed nineteenth
century love warble, "I love you such much"
  The little bespectacled BABU who toiled from file-cover to file-cover, has
become an institution. One worthy gave an application for leave on the death
of his wife, " Dear Sir, I regret I cannot come to the office today. Not to
put too fine a point upon it, the hand that rocks the cradle has kicked the 
bucket".

   Little wonder that Indians can leave the Angrez behind.