From: psc@sei.cmu.edu (Peter Capell)
Subject: Re: repression of women
Organization: Software Engineering Institute
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 14:41:49 GMT


An aside: when my cousin was going into the "Peace Corps" his intention
          was to serve in North Africa, but he was reassigned to South 
	  America because he was too opinionated.  Knowing the strength of
	  opinion in the middle east, I cannot get over our government's
	  having had this much wisdom.  I guess it runs in the family.
	  Thank God, there are some electrons between you and me.

All of which was a prelude to my comments about Islam, Iran, and the
repression of women (a clearly sensitive topic):

I am not a good enough moslem to cite chapter and verse from the Qur'An. At 
least I did perform my namAz for 7 years faithfully until my father died.
Then for some reason I stopped.  Anyway, I think the principles of freedom and
choice are more essential, not requiring book citations:

1) When I consider how most men are, how ravenous we are, how rude and
sexually over concerned we are, I think the full-length chador makes perfect
sense--"out of sight, out of mind" as they say here.  I mean that I think if I
were a woman who understood the nature of men's minds, I would want to wear a
chador just to keep the playing field equal.  For all men like to criticize
women for their hormonal instability and moodiness, I have never seen a group
more poisoned by their own hormonal juices, or prejudiced by their emotions
than men.  Women working in the U.S. know this well.

2) Unfortunately this perspective leaves one half of the equation, namely the
woman herself.  It is quite apparent that the chador (and roosaree) have been
imposed upon the women of the middle east not by Allah, but by men and men
alone.  "Gar nigah dareh man on ast..."  Indeed, this first line of the poem
says something near to the heart.  I know my God is the God that wants, above
all, for humans to decide for themselves.  God wants us to choose what to do
in the face of challenges, not to run from them.  To cover a woman because you
are too weak to face the challenge of your own rampant sexuality is to run
from the challenge that (frankly) I think yogis, sufis, buddhists and taoists
handle much better than the run of the lot of moslems.    

3) I am about to make a very American, prejudiced remark: it is our
observation here that Iranian men/boys, upon coming to the U.S., many times
become very licentious.  More than one American woman has told me of episodes
with presumptuous Iranian men attempting to "mount me before we even left the
party."  Now I am hardly one to criticize, because without my fairly carefully
honed sense of restraint, this is my first impulse as well.  Nonetheless,
knowing what I do know of the extreme of restraint in your culture*, I would
say these anecdotal reports probably have *some* legitimacy, that is, they are
somewhat accurate and indicative of a certain subset of behaviors of younger
Iranian men towards American women (esp. upon arrival to this grandiose
playground with call the U.S. of A).  I also think the reports indicate an
*extreme* flux of repressed sexual energy that would otherwise be considered
unnacceptable to express in the main at home.* And I think the fact that many
of you consider American women to be whores in the first place doesn't help
matters.  

The point of my saying this is that based on my own informal observation and
data-gathering over the past 12 years, it is my opinion that Iranian women are
being forced to cover themselves because of the weaknesses of Iranian
men--undoubtedly the same weaknesses we American men have, only we're too
stupid to have thought of actually wrapping them up in black cloth--an
interesting approach to an old and nagging problem-- :-). ...it sure must
"take the edge off" anyway.  ...but when I think about it... you never know
what you're getting... :-) 

And so why don't the men cover themselves too? Seems a little unbalanced, no?

Hey, I admit though, we change women's names over here.  I guess that's our
way of destroying their identity if possible.  One way or another, the women
seem to lose.

Since I truly love women, I cannot in good conscience abide by any behavior
that would restrict their own exercise of choice--for good or evil.  I think
free will is a dictate of God.  I have no fear of anarchy.  We probably need
more anarchy.  The soul of the man (or woman) is the business of the man (or
woman).

4) My point is that we men, from all cultures, had better start paying
attention to what really keeps us from viewing the other half of our world
with a clear-eyed perspective.  We should stop asking women to change because
of weakness in our egos and our own sexual preoccupation.

BTW, to the 4% of you men who can't relate to my sweeping remarks about your
overconcern for sex, I apologize.  On the other hand, you should also
apologize for lying to yourselves and us.  Thanks.


*I cite as my background for what is acceptable in Iran, my experience with my
 own wife: when we dated, she would not permit me to even so much as hold her
 hand in public (let alone suck face**).  And too, once anything like "dating"
 begins in Iran, you have to declare your intention to marry.***

**Yes I know, a horrible, crude expression--quite descriptive though don't you
  think?

***I wish I could for five minutes, transport any of you into my pitiable
   American brain, just so you could gauge how an American reacts to the
   notion that one declare the intention to marry right off the bat. 
   Roughly I can express it: "What did you say?! Did I hear you right?!"
   

Okay, I've blabbed enough.  

Salam Aleikom.   

Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian