HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dcampbel@neumann.une.edu.au (King Arthur)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,talk.bizarre,alt.cascade
Subject: Coffin Components
Keywords: Idiots From New England
Date: 22 Jan 93 06:27:54 GMT
Followup-To: alt.stupidity


Coffin Components
-----------------

When we die our coffins will contain the following vitally important
ingredients:-
                           
Vodka
SCOTCH
Galliano to make Harvey Wallbangers
Mississippi Moonshine
Texan Tequila   
Boston Bourbon
Romanian Rum
Origin Ouzo
Grass seeds
Whats grass seeds mean
The ones to grow on the corpse man   
Since when do we garden
Since the leaves smell very nice 
Marijuanna leaves
Shhh....
Shhhiiittt
Yeah, Marijuana is shit!
I'll believe that one
What else was in the coffin?
A running tap from above for the keg - continual supply.
Getting tired, must be pizza and no coke 
Want me to make a run up to the coke machine near rm110?
I wouldn't say no! 
Of course not, you'd say no to nothing!
Ive standards, somewhere 
yet to see them.
Hows the coke coming 
Magically I hope!
doubt it
I'll go up soon. 
Have fun 
I did - there was this gorgeous blonde you see and...
couldn't keep her eyes of me.... 

      < 11 lines deleted >

How about we change this one back to normal and start up a new
thread with amazing newsgroup names?

      < Newsgroups file has been severly edited for public usage >

keep the newsgroups we've already made
ok, other things in coffin of the drunks? 

Sounds good

What about a lifetime supply of pizzas?

Nutritious!!!
Healthy even.
What else?
Tasty
What else is in the coffin - I think we should have a very large coffin
about 3 computers to login to mihi 24*7*365? 
whats 24*7*365 , let me guess, 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 weeks a yr
- you got it!
What else in?
Bed & pillow

     < 1 line deleted >

Coffee so you can wake up & smell it

     < 6 lines deleted >

I stole her off you ages ago
Who cares - who else I mean what else is in coffin.
This coffin is geting pretty large
Make it into pentcoffin then
with en suite too
With a HUGE bar!
fully stocked of course and topless barmaids 
Any suggestions on who they'd be?

     < 246 lines deleted >

Hmmm, you're right but its so bloody addictive!
Contagious, thats the problem
Hmm, what are we gonna do then?
How about mass extermination
What so less intruders on our system?
That would be convenient
Unless they write back of course.   
We'd spare them then

    < 2 lines deleted >

They can try but I give them naught for their chances!

    < 9 lines deleted >

Um, how about you save a copy now - send it back and I'll edit
it for public viewing, ok?

O.K.


File edited for public viewing (not much though...ha ha ha).

King Arthur
dcampbel@neumann.une.edu

Rhomulos
mharris@nyx.cs.du.edu
From: jh@dcs.ed.ac.uk (James Hammerton)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re: Keyboards & Hedgehogs
Date: 26 Jan 93 12:15:56 GMT
Reply-To: jh@dcs.ed.ac.uk (James Hammerton)
Organization: Laboratory for the Foundations of Computer Science, Edinburgh U

In article <727818137.28017@minster.york.ac.uk> ae-a@minster.york.ac.uk writes:
>I am having trouble typing out this article because my keyboard has just turned into a hedgehog and when I'm typing, my fingers keep getting caught on the spikes.

You think you've got problems. My keyboards turned into a herd of elephants
and trampled all over me, before I managed to write this article!

James

-- 
*  James Hammerton               *  If Pascal is equivalent to the      *
*  Email: jamesh@uk.ac.ed.aisb   *  mini-metro,then ML is the concept   *
*  			         *  car where steering is done          *
*                                *  recursively using the gearstick.    *
From: kaygee@hardy.u.washington.edu (Kevin Giansante)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Meet Rikiya Asano, Master's Student
Date: 28 Jan 1993 16:06:38 GMT
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
NNTP-Posting-Host: hardy.u.washington.edu

From news.u.washington.edu!usenet.coe.montana.edu!rpi!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!cis.ohio-state.edu!news.sei.cmu.edu!fs7.ece.cmu.edu!crabapple.srv.cs.cmu.edu!andrew.cmu.edu!ra01+ Thu Jan 28 08:01:44 PST 1993
Article: 22351 of soc.culture.japan
Organization: Masters student, Civil Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: soc.culture.japan
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 21:33:07 -0500 
From: Rikiya Asano <ra01+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke
	<C1HH3x.M6z@news.cso.uiuc.edu>
	<cfNd5ES00WB=I2flJm@andrew.cmu.edu>

Mr. Haga writes,

.

>It is known and undertood that an ordinary human can not even guess or
>surmise what Mr. Rikiya Asano is saying for he is the true genius
>which he claims to be.  It is very sad that we, ordinary human beings,
>can not appreciate and be enlightened by the sayings of the Great Asano.
>But, such is the way of the true genius.  Mr. Asano is a man of great
>depth.  His depths in intelligence, morality, and wisdom exceed far
>beyond the comprehensions of us, ordinary humans, that they go as far
>as the deep bottom of hell.
> 
>So, therefore, I tell you not try to understand what Mr. Asano is
>trying to say, for it is not for our puny minds to understand them,
>but just try hard to understand what you see on the surface.  His
>integrity in his posts makes it enough for us, the inferior beings, to
>almost understand his wills and attitude in a particular matter by
>just staring in wide eyes to his holiness of his posts.  For such is
>the Mighty Rikiya's way.  His writings are so sacred, trying to peek
>through the surface of them will blind our eyes for we're filthy and
>puny beings from the eyes of the Holy Asano.

Do you really have to do this!
 
>Oh, the Great Riki-chan, please don't strike me with your wrath for my
>impertinence.

Embarassing! 


>p.s.  To surmmarize the above passages, just ignore Mr. Rikiya's posts
>for it is not us, ordinary, rational biengs to understand them.  But
>they might be a great hobby you can have, to try to guess and
>understand what the greatest genius of our time wants to say. 

This is better! I also agree. For those of you that have trouble with my
postings it is better for me and you that you past my name up or put me
into the kill file although this is useless.(because eventually you'll
see what I wrote anyway from the postings of someone else). Also, this
poster is correct when he says that I am not like everyone else. Just
like everyone is not like me. I've convinced that many of you here are
not worthy of either America or Nippon! Look how diversified ya'll are.
Before I came this was like a grave. Peace but cold and dead. Many of
you remind me of..of.. CONSERVATIVES. I'm an Ultra- Ultra (man)
Liberal(that's non political of course). Ahh! maybe that's it! Ahh!
Maybe if I started talking like Dan Quayle you would understand me
better. So, what else. I think that that's it! 

>p.p.s.  Sorry to waste the bandwidth with this gibberish.

 That O.K. your intentions were good!



From news.u.washington.edu!usenet.coe.montana.edu!rpi!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!cis.ohio-state.edu!news.sei.cmu.edu!fs7.ece.cmu.edu!crabapple.srv.cs.cmu.edu!andrew.cmu.edu!ra01+ Thu Jan 28 08:02:10 PST 1993
Article: 22353 of soc.culture.japan
Organization: Masters student, Civil Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: soc.culture.japan
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 21:49:38 -0500 
From: Rikiya Asano <ra01+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke
	<C1I7w3.D7s@cmcl2.nyu.edu>

Mr.L.T. Maloney writes:

.

> 
>Are you sure Asano-san is a person and not a computer
>program? His writing style reminds me of PARRY,
>and he *IS* posting from Carnegie Mellon ....

This is horrible! I hate artificial intelligence! >>:< >>:< >>:< (I saw
this in 
a magazine about the E-mail. It also gave this corny map of the supposed
geographical structures of the system. Now get this. South Africa, All
of North America, almost all asia, all of Astrailia and very few parts
of africa were in red which is supoosed to mean that these are highly
*on-line areas. Yeah, right!
And my name is... "Eat unko for breakfast") ( all the world. HAAAA!)
Anyway, their is a great book by a great man from a not so good school
wrote a book called- What computers can't do! I read this book and found
that this individaul  
is before his time. Talk about Black Sabbath's Ironman; this guy is awesome! 


From news.u.washington.edu!usenet.coe.montana.edu!rpi!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!pacific.mps.ohio-state.edu!cis.ohio-state.edu!news.sei.cmu.edu!bb3.andrew.cmu.edu!crabapple.srv.cs.cmu.edu!andrew.cmu.edu!ra01+ Thu Jan 28 08:03:15 PST 1993
Article: 22359 of soc.culture.japan
Organization: Masters student, Civil Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: soc.culture.japan
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 22:21:58 -0500 
From: Rikiya Asano <ra01+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Apologizing for WWII--yet again

Ladies and gentleman,

.

   In reading this post for a while now I have decided to respond to
some of the isshoes. Anyway, I believe there was a time in between the
years of 1933 and 1945 when the citizens(The People) were behind what
the Imperialist were doing. So, knowing this, it is untrueful and
deceptive to say that "The People" and "the Government" were
independent! The People was The Government and The Government was The
Imperialist. The Japanese people were proud very often of the "prizes
and honor" that were brought form abroad. But, I acknowlodge that there
were times especailly at the end when the people rebelled (and died)
and/ or the Military IMperialist forced, threaten and killed many
Japanese who refused to take park in the war effort(as war people say).
I remember hearing stories about
teenager drinking gallons of soy sauce in order to become sick to avoid
the medical exam for the induction into death. 

So, for the sake of brevity:  We are reponsivible, we.. well let me
change this.

I feel that I am responsible because my nation, the beauty that was
turnished by the greed of a few power hungry and insensative men, and
became spoiled because 
death and pain and sorrow were the tools of their trade. Because of
this, I lay on this earth looked down upon by my own race and burdens
and critique-ful looks
follow me where ever I go. But, I am a man! And respect those who expect
me! This is my survival. Not Homogeniety! I am convinced that if I died
in America
not one Japanese would come to my funeral. But, I love all people
despite what a few of them say. I know what's in my heart! And, I'm
proud of
myself!:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  Nice smile, Uh!!!


Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
From: s0730076@let.rug.nl (W.J. van de Vis)
Subject: don't even think of reading this....TEST
Keywords: signature??
Organization: Faculteit der Letteren, Rijksuniversiteit Groningen, NL
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 13:04:35 GMT

Well I guess I have a signature now.
From: s7958246@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Mr. Duality)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re: New Stupid Person
Date: 22 Jan 1993 21:07:53 -0500
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
NNTP-Posting-Host: titan.ucs.umass.edu

In article <C16H5s.Cor@news.cso.uiuc.edu> l.j.z. <ljz57640@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu> writes:
>bcimmet@eagle.wesleyan.edu writes:
>
>>Hi, I'm new to the stupidity scene, and I was wondering if anyone wanted to
>>clue me in as to the mainstream concept of the group (or the lack of a
>>mainstream concept?) Thanks...
>
>
>Ahem.  In my very own personal yet somewhat warped opinion, if you want to
>get a good idea of what goes on here, just look up at the top of your screen.
>See?  Up there... in nice monochrome letters... a little sign that says
>"alt.stupidity".  Stupidity is the name, and stupidity is the game.  If
>you're mindless, deranged, or just like to make no sense whatsoever, then this
>is the place pour vous.  Come with me now to the Land of Internet, and we
>can all be clueless together in our own little world, peaceably flinging
>crap left and right until we are all covered in our own random stupidity!
>
>Doodle doodle dee, wubba wubba wubba. 
>
>--L.
>
>
>-- 
>=============================================================
>laura j zurawski---juniper@uiuc.edu---visualize whirled peas
>=============================================================


	You know, this could very well be our FAQ.... all those in favour,
shout "EYE!" All those against, shout "NEIGH!" All those who came here for
the refreshments after the voting, GO GET 'EM!!!
From: C.L.Gannon@newcastle.ac.uk (C.L. Gannon)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: 8th wonder of the world
Date: 25 Jan 93 14:20:54 GMT
Organization: Computing Laboratory, U of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK NE1 7RU.



    i don't know about you but i think this is great, every time i press 
    one of these buttons infront of me the letter printed on top of it
    appears on the screen i could sit here and play with it for hours.


    
     
_______________________________________________________________________________
--------LLL--------eeee-----------oo----\\-------------------------------------
-------LLLLL------EEEEEE---------oooo----\\-------'Cause I am.....-------------
------LLLLLL----EEEE--EEEE------OOOOOO----\\-----------------------------------
-----LLLLLL----EEEE----EEEE---OOOO--OOOO---\\----ONE FUCKING WELL DRESSED------ 
----LLLLLL-----EEEEEEEEEEEE--OOOO----OOOO---||---------------------------------
---LLLLLL------EEEEEEEEEEE---OOOO----OOOO--//-----------MAN--------------------
---LLLLL----L---EEEE---------OOOOO--OOOOO-//-----------------------------------
---LLLLLLLLLLL---EEEEEEEEE----OOOOOOOOOO-//------------------------------------
----LLLLLLLLL------EEEEEE-------OOOOOO--//-email C.L. Gannon@newcastle.ac.uk---
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: s7958246@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Mr. Duality)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re:      YOU'RE ALL SO STUPID!  BWAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Date: 22 Jan 1993 21:11:36 -0500
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
NNTP-Posting-Host: titan.ucs.umass.edu

In article <1993Jan21.085337.7890@fuug.fi> an1252@anon.penet.fi (Gabriel Stevens) writes:
>In article <1jkbm9INNfhb@titan.ucs.umass.edu> you write:
>>From: s7958246@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Mr. Duality)
>>Subject: Re:      YOU'RE ALL SO STUPID!  BWAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
>>Date: 20 Jan 1993 15:11:53 -0500
>>In article <1993Jan19.044518.28057@fuug.fi> an2956@anon.penet.fi writes:
>>>HA HA MADE YOU LOOK!
>>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
>>>Due to the double-blind system, any replies to this message will be anonymized,
>>>and an anonymous id will be allocated automatically. You have been warned.
>>
>>
>>	Oh yeah? Step out into the light where we can see ya, Mister, and THEN
>>tell us who's stupid?!
>>
>>
>>"STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Kuni
>>
>Oh, ok you genus.  Your just too smart for me. *yuk* *yuk*
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
>Due to the double-blind system, any replies to this message will be anonymized,
>and an anonymous id will be allocated automatically. You have been warned.

	Did you see that? He called me a 'genus'!!! I'M A WHOLE DAMNED SPECIES!!
WAIT'LL I TELL THE BOYS BACK AT THE SANITARIUM THE GOOD NEWS!!!

why yes, officer, I do have a Caps Lock key.... why?

Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
From: matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (brett mcinnes)
Subject: YOUR A NOBOBY!
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 05:18:49 GMT

: : Rikiya Asano (ra01+@andrew.cmu.edu) wrote:
: 
: : : Do you see what I was telling you? Why does Singaporean want this kind of trash
: : : on the nettwork? Just to see Singapore? I'am very angry now! Obviously,
: : : a few of you done know that none of these jokes makes the White American
: : : the target. Instead of Malay or Mexican- Japanese or Singapore could be
: : : the one.
: 
: : : Mr. Shaver your an asshole. I don't think that you would go up to a
: : : Mexican in Sacremento and say this to him. This makes you a
: : : motherfucking coward. Hiding behind a computer and joking about shoting
: : : a Mexican. You pig! No. pig is to good of a word for your kind. Slug.
: : : No! Any of God's creature would be shamed to have to cowardice that are.
: : : Your a noboby! And, you can best believe that I will write a letter to
: : : this bullshit that they call Unify Corporations with this shit that you
: : : posted here. Who do they try to unify pussies(excuse me dear Virgins),
: : : no you're less than a pussy! You're a wussy! Asshole! I would be
: : : surprized if a Mexican took out a gun and blew your dirty brains out for
: : : being a wussy. I think that Mexican American groups in Caly wouldn't
: : : likethe Mexican American supporting a company with this imagine! But,
: : : we'll see?? 
: 
: : : You BETTER apologizes!
: 
Wussy?
Xref: sparky alt.stupidity:3807 talk.bizarre:46747 rec.arts.poems:14101
From: spackman@disco-sol.dfki.uni-sb.de (Stephen Spackman)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,talk.bizarre,rec.arts.poems
Subject: Re: Computer generated poetry
Date: 28 Jan 1993 09:08:17 GMT
Organization: DFKI Saarbruecken GmbH, D-W 6600 Saarbruecken
Reply-To: stephen@acm.org
NNTP-Posting-Host: disco-sol.dfki.uni-sb.de
In-reply-to: ae-a@minster.york.ac.uk's message of 27 Jan 93 12:24:43 GMT

In article <728137482.27921@minster.york.ac.uk> ae-a@minster.york.ac.uk writes:

|Here is a poem my computer wrote with the help of me. Do you like it?

Yes, yes I do. It brought tears to my eyes and worcester sauce to my
spleen, and vice versa.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
fgrcura c fcnpxzna                                     fgrcura@npz.bet
"porpnorber wibble freen!"        igpart wibble nondomor. roop muh ig!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: roy@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu (Rivet Head)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: ally Stupid
Date: 27 Jan 93 07:17:55 GMT
Organization: California State University, Sacramento

In article <1993Jan26.035733.6565@advtech.uswest.com> smithrud@advtech.uswest.com () writes:
>
>what made you think it would be a guy responding?  Tsk tsk.
>What is it?  A club around here? :)

As a general rule, I've noticed that girls aren't as stupid as guys.
Hence, more stupid guys like myself posting here.  Well, I guess you're
one of the few exceptions!  Welcome to the club!

>Lurk to backing,
>Qari

Is yer name spelled backwards?

By the way: anyone who replies to this will be Re: ally Stupid!  Any
volunteers?

  __    __                            __   __
   |\  /|  __  __    _   __   __  ___  |   |    Your sister is a junkie
   | \/ |  |_  | _  /_\  | \  |_   |   |---|      gets it any way she can
   |    |  |_  |_| /   \ |_/  |_   |   |   |    Your brother's a gay singer
  /  Roy J.  E-MAIL: roy@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu  \     in a stud leather band
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
From: matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (Lieutenant Ripley at The Institute for Telling Lice)
Subject: Re: Looking for unveiled boys
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 01:51:11 GMT

parandeh@inga2.acc.stolaf.edu (Rostam Parandeh) writes:
: 
: I'm interested in coresponding with muslim boys/men who are gay.
: 
: I would like to know more about their situation.
: 
: Please note that all corespondencce will be held at high levels
: of confidentiality, so do not hesitate to reply.
: 
: Looking forward to hearing from you
: 
: Kiumars Kianpour
:
From: msmith@koko.csustan.edu (Marlan Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re:      YOU'RE ALL SO STUPID!  BWAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Date: 21 Jan 93 17:34:14 GMT
Organization: CSU Stanislaus

>Oh, ok you genus.  Your just too smart for me. *yuk* *yuk*



I'll bet he could spell GENIUS!!!!!

*****YUK*********YUK********

-Fishy
From: roy@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu (Rivet Head)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Keyboard fun (Re: 8th wonder of the world)
Date: 27 Jan 93 07:49:31 GMT
Organization: California State University, Sacramento

In article <C1EyIu.Ev9@newcastle.ac.uk> C.L.Gannon@newcastle.ac.uk (C.L. Gannon) writes:
>
>
>    i don't know about you but i think this is great, every time i press 
>    one of these buttons infront of me the letter printed on top of it
>    appears on the screen i could sit here and play with it for hours.

Well get this: By pressing certain keys on my keyboard (num lock, caps
lock & scroll lock), I can turn these green lights on my keyboard on or off!
By repeatedly pressing them in a certain order, I can make it look like
one light is moving back & forth!  All by itself!  This fun game has
provided me with hours of fun.


Now if yer a rebel like meself and ya wants to haves yerself some real
fun, try this:

Press Ctrl, Alt, and Del all at the same time!  Go ahead, try it now!
It'll be fun, I promise!


  __    __                            __   __
   |\  /|  __  __    _   __   __  ___  |   |    Your sister is a junkie
   | \/ |  |_  | _  /_\  | \  |_   |   |---|      gets it any way she can
   |    |  |_  |_| /   \ |_/  |_   |   |   |    Your brother's a gay singer
  /  Roy J.  E-MAIL: roy@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu  \     in a stud leather band
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
From: matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (Lieutenant Ripley at The Institute for Telling Lice)
Subject: Ripley's BELIEVE IT OR NOT!
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 01:39:06 GMT


Do you know that Jesus Christ's middle name was in fact "Babalu"?
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
From: s0730076@let.rug.nl (W.J. van de Vis)
Subject: Re: signature
Organization: Faculteit der Letteren, Rijksuniversiteit Groningen, NL
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 13:20:57 GMT

In article <s0730076.16.0@let.rug.nl> s0730076@let.rug.nl (W.J. van de Vis) writes:
>From: s0730076@let.rug.nl (W.J. van de Vis)
>Subject: signature
>Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 12:25:04 GMT
>
>is there anyway to save and get back a signature, before I start on a real 
>complicated one?
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>                                        
>    |   |    |  does anybody out there
>    |   |    |  even care.
>    |   |    |            ill: s0730076@let.rug.nl                           
>    |   |___ |___
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>I guess the Megadeth man (you know 'em) knows more about this!
>
>ill
>
forget it I found out already, used Pegasus mail.
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity