HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: carolo@cse.ucsc.edu (Carol Osterbrock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Postage Due
Date: 15 Oct 1992 03:53:52 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz (CE/CIS Boards)
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: shawnee.ucsc.edu
Summary: Some People are Real Cheapskates

Well, there we were at the El Paso, and somebody got the bright idea
that everybody should post an original peeve.  So I asked some of my
peevish but netless friends what their pet peeves were, and although
I do find it amusing that somebody wrote "SEXIST" on the condom
machine, it's really not original peeve material, and this is Santa
Cruz, where I don't think there is much of anything that hasn't been
labelled "sexist", "racist", "murderers", "homophobe", or something.
It was only a matter of time before the condom machines got hit.  Next
it will be the urinals, no doubt.

But I digress.  I got home to a nice big stack of mail, and there in
the middle of it was a card, with a nice official USPS envelope for 
23 cents postage due.  Well, when I open the card, what is it but a
wedding invitation!  Now, I have never got a wedding invitation with
postage due before.  Should I send back the RSVP card with a 6 cent
stamp, so *they'll* have to pay 23 cents to find out if I'll be there
or not?  Or maybe add a few newspaper clippings, maybe old columns of
that millionaire guy who gives away money.  Or buy a really cheesy
gift and put in a little note saying "I would have got the silver soup
tureen but I was 23 cents short."

You know, as I ponder this dilemma, it occurs to me that the gentleman
involved is of Scottish extraction, so it is quite possible that none
of his family will show up, since of course they will refuse to pay
the postage due and therefore will not receive invitations...

Well, it ought to be an interesting wedding.

-carol



-- 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
   Carol Osterbrock     | "Thou art a villain."
                        |       "You are--a senator."
  carolo@cse.ucsc.edu   |  -W. Shakespeare   (Some things never change)
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Chunderation
Keywords: driving, porcelain, bus
Date: 15 Oct 92 15:11:56 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

An extreme hangover made (Jenny Gutbezahl) say:
>OK.  I remember a guy once explaining to  me the difference between a 
>slut, a bitch, a cunt, etc.  A "bitch" is a woman who won't sleep with
>you.  Not on a bet.  

This must be the new, improved difference.  The way I heard it was a
slut will sleep with anyone, and bitch will sleep with anyone except
you.

>OK, so I guess I'll always be a bitch to you.

And I'm not losing a wink of sleep over it.

>Cleanliness is next to literacy???  Hmmm, you've been reading too much
>about the unwashed masses.  You see, Andy, you can't combat illiteracy with 
>soap.  Hard to believe, I know, but true.

Now let's not jump to conclusions.  I've found wire bruches and vats
of mineral spirits are wonderful for cleaning.  Now I'm not saying
that scrubbing Scotty's skin with a wire brush then dipping him in a
vat of mineral spirits would improve his composition skills, but I'm
sure I could make a boatload of cash selling tickets.

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
 Placard:  "Will work for food"
 Response: "Blow me!"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Esoteric Skinhead O'Connor (Was stuff about Mac D's)
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 22:31:42 GMT

In <1992Oct7.044554.2357@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:

>	Peeve: Rush cannot have any control over the advertisers
>who are allowed into his commercial breaks.  I expected right-type
>commercials.  What do I get?  I don't know for certain.  It
>started out with a tarot-reading twit advertising she was the
>900 number to call, and so I switched to Star Trek for the duration.

In Atlanta the first commercial break is lead with an NRA commercial.
It's downhill from there.
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
From: paul@alantec.com (G. Paul Ziemba)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Quadrophobia
Date: 10 Oct 92 05:29:18 GMT

timke@microsoft.com (Tim Keane) writes:

>Peeve: no longer have that car -- what a perfect example of '74 it was too,
>with shag carpet that extended 6" up the door panels, oh-so-cool velour bucket
>seats, gas-sucking V8 and Torqueflight tranny, and an ash tray full of roaches.
>Sold it after it turned over 200,000 miles.

!Peeve: still have my `74. Just turned 223K last week. Gawd I love it
when the g-forces pull back the skin on me face as we (the car and I)
blast up the on-ramp.  Ever wonder why they started giving engine
sizes in celsius?

ObPeeve: 7.5 liter V8's do drink a bit'o'gas. And those communists
made the gas stations stop selling leaded gas. Poor stu (I named
my car), he took it hard.

	Stu: Oh, my aching valves. I haven't got much longer...

	Me: There, there. We had some great times together.

	Stu: I can see stars...
-- 
Paul Ziemba  paul@alantec.com	alantec!paul  408.955.9000 x227

"The first TV I ever owned...I threw from a third story window at a burglar"
 - sjackson@parc.xerox.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: WANTED: Purses
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 92 18:15:32 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

miller@mrcnext.cso.uiuc.edu (Geoffrey M. Miller) writes:
                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

|> PURSES WANTED:
|> 
|> Painted ring mesh and enameled flat mesh purses made by Whiting & Davis Co.
|> and Mandalian Mfg. in the 1920s and 1930s.  Must be in mint or near mint
|> condition.  

Omigod! There's *two* of 'em!  (I hope).

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dr. Pavlov's distinguished career came to an      |
|abrupt end one day when the doorbell rang and the |
|dog ate the Avon lady.                            |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: S.H.Eepdog@ed.ac.uk (S H Eepdog)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Assorted peeves (collect 'em, trade 'em with your friends)
Date: 8 Oct 92 08:26:18 GMT
Reply-To: S.H.Eepdog@ed.ac.uk (S H Eepdog)
Organization: S H Eepdogs, Inc

In article <1992Oct7.233709.20277@morrow.stanford.edu> Eric Minch writes:
> 
> What you do is get yourself an old clunker with a  
> solid cast-iron frame, rusty pedal cranks, underinflated tires rubbing  
> against the forks, maybe some playing cards clothespinned on going  
> <clickaclickaclickaclicka> on the spokes.

That sounds like a perfect description of my bike. Well, it was'nt precisely
that way before, I think it is something to do with leaving it always outside
in the rain, and never doing any maintenance whatsoever on it.

The AntiPeeve is that I never have to worry about people stealing it. The
"approved" policy is to leave it just next to one of those $10000 super bikes,
and guess which one is still there after a few hours...

--
Mr. S.H.Eepdog
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:15335 alt.politics.correct:5639 talk.religion.misc:17898
From: SECBH@CUNYVM.BITNET
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.politics.correct,talk.religion.misc
Subject: Re: Esoteric Skinhead O'Connor (Was stuff about Mac D's)
Date: 8 Oct 92 23:13:12 GMT
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center

padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:

>In article <92282.110029SECBH@CUNYVM.BITNET> SECBH@CUNYVM.BITNET writes:
>>In regard to Sinead O'Connor's tearing up the Roman Pontiff's picture
>>in television: The fact is that the pope claims to be the head of state
>>...

>The point you miss is that Sinead indicated that he was "evil" before
>she tore up the picture, and then told the crowd to "fight the REAL
>enemy" afterwards, which is slightly different than making a coherent
>religious or political stand against him.

I didn't think that O'Connor's coherence was the focus of the complaints,
but rather the concern was about _who_ was the target of her rant.

>Replacing his picture with one of Buchanan (who is not a religious
>leader - perhaps you mean Robertson),

Righto, I did mean Robertson, but they *are* difficult to tell apart.
Mr. B. might be quite pleased to find himself called a religious leader,
certainly his call for a religious war is at least an indication
that he might see himself as such....however, Robertson it is.

>Falwell, or whatever, STILL doesn't
>make the action right. And I can't imagine any one even TRYING
>to support
>her actions if she were speaking out against Nelson Mandela and the ANC,
or Judaism, etc.

I cannot imagine anyone getting is such a swivet over this, no matter
whose bloody picture she tore up.  Her singing is a bigger travesty
than this loopy bit of business was by far.

>Notice that she could have protested the actions of the Serbians and the
>Bosnians killing each other, or the Sudanese or Somalian governments
>killing their people, or even people killing each other in Northern
>Ireland.

Well send her a portfolio of your favorite targets and maybe she'll
do _them_ next time.  Aren't you giving her and her actions a great deal
more attention than they are worth?  She is a pop singer, not Secretary-
General of the U.N.!!

>She spoke out against the Pope, who many feel (whether you
>or she likes it or not) is a great force for peace in the world, because
>apparently he is causing the mess in Ulster, instead of going to Belfast
>and picketing the IRA offices or whoever is directly involved.
>Of course, she'd risk getting her ass blown off.

That is _your_ version of the Roman pontiff, one not shared by everyone -
however, get a grip.  If you find your idol so demeaned by this bit
of silliness, perhaps your own opinion of him is a little shaky.
Do you really feel that the pope, the curia, and various and sundry
legates, nuncios and unofficial meddlers are as upset as you are.
The Roman papacy survived Alexander VI and Pius XII...I do believe
with something amounting to conviction that it shall survive Sinead
O'Connor.

Jack Carroll
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 15:14:43 GMT

In article <1992Oct16.120541.12693@wvus.org> art@wvus.org (Art Nicolaysen) writes:
>In article <mhart.719148671@blackjack> mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
>>In <1992Oct10.155924.20279@wvus.org> art@wvus.org (Art Nicolaysen) writes:
>>>In article <mhart.718627756@blackjack> mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
>
>  <Much BS about me being named some sort of net-goddess deleted>
>

I didn't want to respond to this.  I was hoping it would just go away.
Believe me, the last thing in the world I want is some type of confirmation
that tons of lonely computer geeks are pulling their pud as they read
my posts.

Please^H^H^H STOP IT!!!

Jenny "If nominated I will not run, if elected I will not stand" Gutbezahl


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (!Merriam Webster)
Subject: Re: Lou Reed 
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Lexicographers' Union
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 01:05:54 GMT


In article <1992Oct13.142313.8750@dazixco.ingr.com> 
	avdh@sunnyboy.dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Puke) says to The Cross
	I Must Bear:

| You listen you mindless dickfor:  First of all, if you're going to get cute by

In article <1992Oct14.001216.9532@twg.com>, The selfsame cross misses the boat

|>dickfor?

Lissen up, Don-boy! It's Dick Fur! That vanderPutz can't spell, nor can he
reason. For that matter, neither can you, but at least your grandpa makes good
pickles. Careful, or I'll have Herr Keppler lay a clue on you

--
Nolan "Sheesh! The things I have to bear" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"Texas is like an old woman's pussy.  Everyone knows its down there but
nobody gives a fuck."  - Overheard on CB radio, compliments of 
	bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"
From: george@windslc.seri.gov (Harry K. Rishna)
Subject: Illiterates (was Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.)
Reply-To: george@windslc.nrel.gov
Organization: Colorado State Reformatory for Young Hussies and Trollops
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 18:15:10 GMT


>>>And don't forget those illiterates who say "nucular".  Die rat bastard!!
>>There ya go.  And also the ones who say "reeletter" and "asterick."
>And "eck-setera".

And this late-breaking addition from 'rec.music.misc':

|Subject: Penultimate Records Newest Release
|Penultimate Records is a record label located Baltimore, MD.  I have the
|.....
|Penultimate Records
|Volker Stewart
|223 West 29th Street
|Baltimore MD 21211

So add 'idiots who think "penultimate" is the same as "ultimate" (and 
especially those stupid enough to use the word in their company name)' to
the kill list.
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George N. Scott                         EMAIL: george@nrel.gov
Wind Research Program (formerly SERI)   VOICE: 303-231-7667
National Renewable Energy Laboratory    1617 Cole Blvd., Golden, CO  80401-3393
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: My worst peeve!
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 92 03:37:30 GMT

In <1992Oct9.190518.15483@scic.intel.com> donita@scic.intel.com (Donita Thompson) writes:

>They don't come out there to the mountains. They're probably 
>afraid that they'll get shot and buried out back. <wicked grin>

Just when I thought it was going to be another lame newcomer
peeve, Donita mentions "they'll get shot" which would imply
the presence of at least one (if not actually a great number of)
firearm.  I like that.

ObPeeve:  The CEO of Motorola was by yesterday and he missed me.
          Dadburnit!
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donp@twg.com (Don Pette)
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Organization: The Wollongong Group, Palo Alto, CA
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 00:44:55 GMT

In article <1992Oct13.170400.4944@twg.com> nolan@twg.com, The Moss that
does adhere,  writes:
>
>In article <1992Oct12.210751.26975@twg.com>, donp@twg.com, The Cross I Must
>Bear, babbles:
>
>Peeve! My officemate, the esteemed Don-Boy. He's pushin' 40 but you'd think he
>was in high school, needing a buddy along on an adventure. All he's been good
>for so far, aside from work-related triviata, is an occasional quotable
>malapropism, like that in the signature. He's a perfect candidate for
>experimental psychosurgery.  I can't decide whether he or Mr. Alt.tasteless'
>officeneighbor is the more diffucult.

Then, obviously back-stabbing his way to the top, writes -

>>I can't decide whether he or Mr. Alt.tasteless'
>>officeneighbor is the more diffucult.

Nolan, while I realize that not being able to achieve an erection must
cause undo stress and anxiety, that line was hardly called for.

-Don '40 my ass' Pette
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Alarm Surprize! (was Big mac's and students)
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 19:47:47 GMT

In <w+jprgb@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:

>In article <R8RcsB4w165w@wabworld.atl.ga.us> bill@wabworld.atl.ga.us (Bill Berbenich) writes:

>>I have heard a recent (like the last month or so) remake of K.C. and The 
>>Sunshine Band's "Please Don't Go" on the radio (and you people all 
>>thought I just listened to talk radio and Rush Limbaugh!).  It was enough 
>>to bring tears to my eyes.

>And this should be enough to bring vomit to yer shoes: There's an entire
>CD out by a band called Erasure(*) which is nothing but Abba covers.

Great fist-fuck uck of Allah!  It was just before I heard the remake of
that K.C. hit that I heard what was apparently Erasure doing "Take a
Chance."  It is indeed a sad day for humanity.  Why just the other day I
saw cats mating with dogs.
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: 9 Oct 92 15:17:15 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

In article <1992Oct9.112650.26881@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:
>Yeah, really.  When I'm scanning through a newsgroup and find something
>which doesn't interest me (recipes), I immediately skip to the next
>article.  

Good show, esp51.  If we all followed your lead, alt.peeves would
currently be the playground of dullards.  Mark E. Anderson was *never*
interesting to everyone.  Did Geoff ignore him?  No, Geoff euthanized
him.  Mary Jacobs showed up, spouting pop psychology.  She's dead now.

I think it rather peevesome to find uninteresting tripe in alt.peeves,
and I'll damn well peeve about it here, in most unpleasant ways.

>I find the Peevetown fantasy a useful tool to poke fun

Then fucking create alt.peevetown.fantasy.frufru and knock yourself
out.  Go there and poke fun at anyone you want.  My guess is you'll
just end up poking your fist wrapped around a sock.  Or go play
Dungeons and Dragons with your geeky, goofy, hard-up, childish,
bed-wetting friends.

>at the conservativemachokillkillkill mindset which is so often
>displayed here.  

Oh great.  Let's replace insipid nimrod chatter with "let's play
house" prattle.  What an improvement.

>If you don't like Peevetown articles, then skip them.
>Other wise f**K off and die.

How about if we create "Leave it to Peever" next?  You're Lumpy,
Booter is June, Rick is Ward, Al is Wally.  Everyone else is Eddie
Haskel.  What a happy, funny game.  Let's all join hands and skip in a
circle.  Yippy fuckin' skippy!

Pardon me while I puke.

By the way, esp51, the word is "fuck."  "If you can't say it, you
can't do it" should be on about your level of banality.

>Peeve:  Berkely net cops, who after studying their asses off for
>6 years find the only job they can get is tongue flossing the
>butt crack of a Stanford or Harvard mba.

Still rattling that tin cup on the corner?

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Alarm Surprize! (was Big mac's and students)
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 92 06:44:17 GMT
Organization: Weasels
Keywords: Foot in mouth disease

In article <BvuzpG.39J@dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
>In article <w+jprgb@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
>>
>> (*) Erasure is yet another one of those pasty-faced-English-boys bands
>> which features two models and an impressive array of computer equipment.
>> Personally, I think they sound like a blatant rip-off of Yaz/Yazoo,
>> except that they suck. !Al could probably go into more depth on this;
>> they're more his type of, um, music.
>
>Puh-leeeze, I resent that remark. I really have very little time indeed for
>Erasure (Erasure records owned - 0). The music itself doesn't annoy me
>particularly (albeit being rather too blatantly commercial trendy dance)
>but vocalist Andy Bell is gifted with a voice that I consider one of the
>most instantly irritating in the history of modern music.

[History lesson deleted]

That'll teach me to post late at night. What I *meant* was that although
the music sounds similar, lulling one into thinking the song will be
pretty cool, the voice bites, chews and swallows, transforming that lull of
relaxation into a hell of deceit.

But I honestly *did* think you liked them. Sorry about that.

(Whew! Another fo-paw like that and I'll have to change my name to Quayle.)

Daniel C. A. H. Quayle

-- 
|..|  o o (bite me)           Dan Hillman            hillman@carina.unm.edu
c >| o                                               hillman@chicoma.lanl.gov
 \^/ 
 /><\                        "Great fist-fuck uck of Allah!" --Bill Berbenich
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Bike peeves
Date: 16 Oct 92 16:02:13 GMT

All these peeves about these thousand dollar rolling phallic
extensions has given me a big smile. But there ARE those of us who
buy and ride these sorts of bikes because they are the only thing
that can withstand the awesome torque produced by leg muscles the
size of large tree trunks. (Only half-joking) Ever since I was a child
I would bash in brand new bikes in a matter of a few months. At that
time it was due to the "radical style" my friends and I rode with.
(ie. riding OVER things as opposed to around them). This style
has persisted to this day and I pride myself on the ability to
torture and kill my $800 mountain bike. Remember, one gets what
one pays for and $800 includes a lifetime "bumber-to-bumper"
warranty on all parts and labor. It is no exaggeration when I
say the only original parts remaining on my 3 year old bike are
the seat and the handlebars. Everything else has been replaced
except the brake and gear cables. Happiness and satisfaction
is bent alloy crank arms.

obpeeve: That solid scum that hardens over the holes made in the top
of a can of condensed milk. OOOOOOOOH I hate that! It's so easy to
avoid too. Assuming everyone is a spit-swapping member of the family,
all one needs to do is blow a small puff of air into the holes affected
(before polymerization) and Voila! no more need to go excavating when
trying to add cream to ones coffee. But will my wife do this? 
NOOOOOOOO! 

It's peeves like this that alt.peeves was invented for. Let's start
getting back to basics people; no more sounding like the vice-presidential
debates.

Scott A. Chasse
U of Fl.-Ft. Lauderdale 
Research Station

"If you can abide it, let the hurdy-gurdy play
Stranger ones have come by here before they flew away."
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: (Im)personal stereos
Date: 15 Oct 92 23:37:23 GMT
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 14547@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu, dtrytten@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu (Deborah Trytten) writes:
> Where do these people come from that they can't stand to have one hour
> of relative quiet?

"All the evil in the world stems from man's inability to sit quietly in
an empty room." -- I forget (Voltaire, maybe?)

---
Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
        The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
          It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.