HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I know she takes me for granted, but...
Date: 16 Nov 92 23:22:29 GMT
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II

In article <1e5d68INNgue@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> ch617@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Brad Hill) writes:
>I think she knows I'm a nice guy, but has no interest in reciprocating.
>She takes up a lot of my time and energy, and I really think there are
>much better ways to spend them, so what do I do about her?  It would
>be worth it if I would get a friend in return, but do you think there's
>a chance she'd change if I "not give up on her"?  This is exactly what I
>feel would happen if I cut her loose.

Look at it from her perspective. She has a warm, caring, attentive friend,
who obviously likes her and does things for her....and she doesn't have to do
anything in return to keep this thing going. So why should she change? She
has things very good, and she doesn't have to work for them!

If you do pull back, chances are she would change...but chances are also good
that she would revert to her current behavior patterns should you resume your
attentions.

It's a sad truth of life that people very rarely look at someone who has been
devoted to them, suddenly notice how wonderful they are, and start
reciprocating. 
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Organization: Clark University
Date: 20 NOV 92 00:32:42 GMT

In a previous article, ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen) wrote:
>well folks, since we are on this topic...what are some common
>flirting actions that some of you use? i'm curious
> 
Hmmm...I don't think I've ever consciously thought about "flirting 
techniques", but in a former life I was a computer salesguy (I'm much better 
now).  They sent me to salesschool one day and I learned a lot about what were 
called "sales skills" which was more like getting someone to believe the 
bulls--t I was supposed to blab.  Chances are some of this followed me to my 
current incarnation.  Hang on every word the other person says; make them feel 
what they're saying is important to you (which it is if you're 'interested').  
Smile a lot.  And what I've found very important - touch, touch, touch.  
Nothing kinky now...  In salesschool it was to touch them on the shoulder 
while leading them around the office.  That's good, but touching the hands 
seems to go well.  Ask to take a closer look at a ring or watch, and offer the 
same to the other person.  (naturally I mean this when flirting, not selling 
:-)).  I once got an incredible response when I lightly touched a woman just 
above the hips from behind (she was looking out a window, and I walked up 
from behind).  I don't think what "works" varies much between the male and 
female.  I try to think of what I'd like to do/have done, and that's what I'll 
do to make the other person more interested (attempt to, that is).

/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
| > <    Mitch Cohen * Multimedia consultant * MCohen@vax.clarku.edu       |
|  ^          Any opinions expressed are clearly not my own.               |
|  v     I'll come up with something intelligent to put here later.        |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
From: 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
Date: 16 Nov 92 05:08:21 GMT
Organization: The Corporation.

In article <00963A4C.F93ABC60@Msu.oscs.montana.edu>, oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
> Okay, guys.  What does "I'll call you," REALLY mean.  I'm fairly sure it's a
> handy exit line that doesn't really mean anything, and I don't expect much
> whenever I hear it.  But I'm wondering if there are any tips on how to tell if
> a guy's just saying it or he really means it (aside from the obvious, i.e.
> waiting for the phone to ring).  How often have you said it, intending to call,
> but then changed your mind?  And why?
> 
> This happened to me again this weekend;  went out Friday, guy says let's get
> together tomorrow night, I'LL CALL YOU, and then never did (I thought he would,
> too).
> 
> This is all so confusing.
> 
> Cheryl
 	Don't know why he didn't call.  Ummm...  My previous experience with
this is that it varies from person to person, although generally it means that
that person will never call you again.  There have been some exceptions, for
instance, when my ex-girlfriend said "Don't call me, I'll call you." I never 
expected her to actually call me, but when she did call me, not only was I 
surprised at the fact that she DID call me, but also WHY she called me.


-- 

 ______________________________________________________________________________
|Kyle S. Davis	
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil)
Subject: Re: The Ultimate PAIN
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 23:13:16 GMT

bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:

>In article <1992Nov2.045318.15056@cis.ohio-state.edu> donaldso@python.cis.
>ohio-state.edu (jonathon h donaldson) writes:
>>Today (sunday) my ex-girlfriend told me that she is seeing my best friend.
>>This is news to me and It hurts to think that I have been telling my friend
>>all my thoughts and hurts and hopes of gettuing back together with her and 
>>he never said a word, so in essence I lost her and my best friend in the 
>>same day. If anyone out there has experience dealing with stuff like this
>>I would gladly appreciate some advice on how you dealt with something similar.

>My solution: scream, yell, shout, and then try to forget about it.  I 
>forgave my friend, but then, some people might call me a wimp, so I don't
>know if you should.  I also looked for other things to occupy my time and
>my mind until the memories faded and the hurting lessened.  Tell both of
>them exactly how you feel.
>Not much help, huh?  Yeah, I'm still suffering from the aftereffects 
>as of now (that's why I'm occupying my time and mind with the net)

It's hard finding out that someone you care deeply about is involved with
someone else.  My situation is different -- I didn't know my ex-SOs new
girlfriend all that well.  But I think that Billy gives some great advice:
accept your feelings of anger and work through them.  And get yourself
involved in other things.  Keeping busy will get your mind off of her and
your friend.  It will keep you socially active.  You may meet some new 
people.

It hurts like hell but it WILL get better!

>--
>----------------------------------------------------------------
>Billy H. Chan 	<bhchan@ocf.berkeley.edu>   "Life: a strange new
>Just Babbling   <bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu>   state of confusion"
>Disclaimer 1:   I'm actually a really nice person. (sorta) :) ;)

Sharon 
oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu

Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Subject: Re: net.hugs? (apology)
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
Date: 23 Nov 1992 16:16 EST  

Gee, *this* looks familiar ...

In article <5=31hhf@rpi.edu>, petitc@rpi.edu writes...
>  Ok.  I am very sorry that I am an annoying little pain in the ass with no
>social life and very few friends.  Also, I am sorry that I accused people and
>flamed without reason.  Yes, I get no caring from people, so I have to take
>whatever I get.

Yo, Chris ... this is getting old. Remember when you left the group on 
account of something *I* posted ? Take a chill pill. Disagreement is *not* 
attack. 

> 
>  I HAVE NO ****ING LIFE!! OK!! YOU HAPPY?!?
> 

Not particularly. 

>  You are much better than I---I am a wuss who should be shot, if murder were
>legal.

Would you like some cheese with that whine ? 

I mean, about 2 posts back I *defended* your assertions, now I see you 
throwing a fit. Gimme a break here, I have a reputation to maintain.

Sheesh !

-- Stephen

	Growing up is easier than you think ... one day, you just wake
	up an adult ... and mourn your loss. 

Organization: Freshman, CIT general, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 21:38:29 -0500 
From: "Paul S. Hrynko" <ph2a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: LDRomancers Be Happy!

Your situation is the first "light at the end of the tunnel"  that I've
seen.  Best of Luck.  I only wish that the four years left in my LDR
were over.  Waiting is so hard.  Again, Congratulations.



   ---------                     __
             \                  |  |  Paul Hrynko  (Ph2a@andrew.cmu.edu)
       /     /                  | /   Box 4838
   ---------    __              |/    5115 Margaret Morrison
     /        /   \   /|   |    /\    Pittsburgh, Pa  15213-3831
    /         \___/ \/  \__/\__/  \   Carnegie Mellon University 412-268-4303

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
B efore your eyes observe the union of the sky with the water,
E bbing and augmenting tides which know no bounds.
A ll observe the eternal crashing of moody waves on the sand,
C alling you to become part of a worldly being greater than yourself, 
H aving the ability to attain true love, peace, and contentment.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: Angela Johnson <Angela_Johnson@med.umich.edu>
Subject: Re: Two hearts can meet....................
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 10:43:26 EST
Organization: The University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1



In article <BxytvC.CxE@news.cso.uiuc.edu> J. Fippen,
fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu writes:
>
>Sex is for the moment, but love is for life.

I couldn't agree with you more!  

A
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: Plea
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 18:49:25 GMT

In article <00963CC9.28D2E000@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
....
>IS it truly normal to be scared to death of the man/woman of your dreams? 
>There's a guy who practically gives me panic attacks, and for the life of
>me I can't figure out *why*.  Is this the reason?  TELL ME!!!
>
Well, there are other reasons that someone could scare you. But yes,
it seems true that once you feel someone is the man or woman of your
dreams, then you tend to be scared to death of them. It's stage 
fright -- you think that your whole happiness depends on making 
a good impression with this one person, so you get scared. With
any luck, after a while you decide that the other person is only
human, and that you will get along with them better if you relax.

Michael.
From: pablo@eye1.cognet.ucla.edu (Pablo Lapuerta)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: romantic ideas wanted
Date: 16 Nov 92 17:58:30 GMT
Reply-To: pablo@cognet.ucla.edu
Distribution: ca
Organization: UCLA Cognitive Science Research Program

In article <g91a2724.47.721677807@giraffe.ru.ac.za>  
g91a2724@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MR GJ ANDREWS) writes:
> 
> My lover and I are going to be spending  time together this vac for the 
> first time in a long while. I'd like to spoil her with some fun/soppy 
> whatever excursions. So if you have any ideas I'd like to hear.
> 
> Thanks
> Greg

I hear all sorts of stories about walks on the beach, champagne with  
strawberries, a surprise date with a rented limousine--but these some of  
these romantic fantasies seem a bit forced.  Looking back, some of the  
most romantic evenings I've had involved beautiful music.  Do you live in  
a city with a good symphony or ballet?  Take your friend to see a  
beautiful performance, and hold hands.

Pablo
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: diana@wetware.com (CatWoman )
Subject: Re: "Just Happens"
Organization: Castle WetWare MouseCatcher
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 14:18:54 GMT

ph2a+@andrew.cmu.edu (Paul S. Hrynko) writes:

] I can't possibly go into detail as much as Diana did, but I can say a
] few things

{Bunch o'good stuff deleted}

] But our communication is not "making" the relationship, it is nourishing
] the relationship, and just happened.

I think we're just dealing in semantics here.  What
Paul is calling "nourishing" is the same thing I am
calling "making".  Putting time, energy, thought, 
consideration, etc. into your dealings with another
person is "making" AND/OR "nourishing" the relationship.

Sitting around letting the other person do all the
work is "letting it happen" - and the other person is
going to get tired of that.

So - I'd say that except for the specific word being
used, Paul and I agree - you can't FORCE a relationship,
at any step of the way - but once you FIND one, you
work at making it work, just by putting effort into it.

Diana
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: I can't see any in the immediate vicinity...
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 17:04:05 GMT

In article <1ebe88INNpmk@bHARs12c.bnr.co.uk> dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
>In article <1992Nov16.174809.9605@nuchat.sccsi.com> kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
>>Well, I haven't posted in a while (you can tell, right?  :-).  There's good
>>reason for that:  my plan worked.  I now have a girlfriend, and am *quite*
>>happy.  This looks to be a long-term thing, because we get along
>>*incredibly* well.
>>
>>You gotta love it when you hit a home run the first time at bat.  :-)
>
>Pah! *love* it?! Kevin, you're a complete and utter bastard

Exactly!  You didn't think I'd get a girlfriend by being a ... * Nice Guy * ...
did you?  :-)

>and I hate you for ever and ever, so there!

Oh, good.  Proof positive that I'm no longer a Nice Guy.  :-) :-)



-- 
Kevin Brown					kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com
This is your .signature virus: < begin 644 .signature (9V]T8VAA(0K0z end >
	    This is your .signature virus on drugs: <>
			Any questions?
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: barry@geovision.gvc.com (Barry Comer)
Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 03:18:22 GMT

Almost forgot:

	DON'T TRY TO FIGHT IT - IT WILL JUST CONSUME YOU!!!!!

	just try to accept it and move on - easy to say.

best of luck
Barry

-- 

===========================================================================
	I would write a signiture file but I don't have the time.  Then again
	I guess I just did, go figure.  Funnier things have happened.....
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: First date on Friday the 13th
From: jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner)
Date: 15 Nov 92 20:56:05 EST
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

spp@zabriskie.berkeley.edu (Steve Pope) writes:
> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
> >Ok, I had a first date on Friday the 13th.  Is this a good thing?
> 
> How are we supposed to know?  You tell *us* whether it was a good thing!

oh wow! my SO & i had our first 'real' date on Friday the 13th as well.
didn't even think about what that was supposed to mean. was too happy
with (barely) getting tickets to see Dracula. (good movie. go see. twice.)

most certainly a good thing.

jason

--
would you could you should you cross thru if i could wipe my eyes a blinding
compromise another pinky shave enlightens the brow now cow to die another day
if you prefer outside be blessed sir ostracize better bastard now forgotten
well instead of favored son of hell in hopes to open eyes - scaterd few, U
,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu ,`,`,`
From: coleman@rocky.cs.ucla.edu (Mike Coleman)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
Date: 16 Nov 92 03:00:43 GMT
Organization: UCLA, Computer Science Department

oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
|This happened to me again this weekend;  went out Friday, guy says let's get
|together tomorrow night, I'LL CALL YOU, and then never did (I thought he would,
|too).

It may be painful, confusing, and annoying as hell, but there is a blessing
here, too:  you found out something important about this guy in under 24 hours
that might have taken you months to discover.

Mike
-- 
--Mike Coleman (coleman@cs.ucla.edu), Lord High Executioner of Anhedonia-----
I saw a commercial on television the other day which began, "Southern
California--there's no place in the world quite like it."  Kind of like
saying, "Grant's tomb--only one person ever buried there."
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: wish me luck
From: emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp)
Date: 19 Nov 92 23:10:36 -0600

In article <LABTB4FX@cc.swarthmore.edu>  writes:
>Hi,
>							I'm new to this board, but I thought I'd  
share my (I think) very
>romantic idea.  I have never asked out a guy before, but I am VERY
>interested in someone.  I don't know his name or anything about him.  There
>is little chance that I will meet him if I don't approach him.  So... I am
>going to find out his name and mail him an anonymous letter asking him to
>meet me for dinner at my dorm.  Do you think he will come?  (To the guys)
>What would you think if someone did this to
>you?

I think I'd go. It's up to you to judge the type of guy you are asking.
For some it is appropriate and others maybe not.
From: chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy Horwitz)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: explain wish me luck
Date: 19 Nov 92 21:14:56 GMT
Organization: Swarthmore College

Hi guys,
	I've gotten some great advise from you all.  Thankyou.  I have to explain
the situation more carefully, and then I'll tell you what my new plan is. 
First of all, he definitely knows me by sight.  This is a small school. 
I've been staring at him for a while, and I think we've had a bit of eye
contact.  I wasn't planning to have him in my dorm room.  I was thinking of
dinner in the small dinning hall in my dorm.  (thank to the people who
warned me of getting raped.  I was thinking of that.)  Any way, this guy is
the very mysterious and good looking type, so I wanted to do something
which set me apart from the mob of girls which I'm sure are after him.  I
don't necessarily want to date him, I just want to meet him.  
					So my new plan is this.   There is really no way for my to run into
him, because I only see him at meal, when we are each sitting with our
respective friends.  I'm still planning on the note idea, but it is not
anonymous.  Actually, I sent it today.  it said that I'd like to meet him,
and would he join me for some casual Chinese food.  I said my name and told
him he could look me up in the face book.  Lastly I told him to call me if
he couldn't come.  This is good because either way I'll get to talk to him.
 Now we all have to pray that he doesn't call me within the next four days.
 We are meeting on Sunday at 7:00.  I'm so nervous/excited.  But I'm also
very prepared for rejection.  Oh well, I'm a freshman, what do I have to
loose.
																																																	Cathy
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Subject: Re: net.hugs? (apology)
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
Distribution: na
Date: 23 Nov 1992 16:39 EST  

In article <1992Nov23.160420.8297@cbfsb.cb.att.com>, jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton) writes...
>In article <5=31hhf@rpi.edu> petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>>
>>  Ok.  I am very sorry that I am an annoying little pain in the ass with no
>>social life and very few friends.  Also, I am sorry that I accused people and
>>flamed without reason.  Yes, I get no caring from people, so I have to take
>>whatever I get.
>>
>>  I HAVE NO ****ING LIFE!! OK!! YOU HAPPY?!?
>>
>>  You are much better than I---I am a wuss who should be shot, if murder were
>>legal.
> 
>Attention please. Anyone near the vicinity of Chris, please remove all
>sharp objects.
> 
>Here's a big soc.singles kiss and hug. *kiss* *hug*

Oh, *man*... you guys serve towels ?? 

>Now doesn't that feel better. We were only kiddin. All we do is kiss
>and hug. All the time. 

.. every day ...

>No s**t.

I guess *that's* a matter of opinion...


Joo guys ever notice that your group name is an oxymoron ? If you were 
sociable, you wouldn't still be single now would you ? 

:-)

-- Stephen

	Growing up is easier than you think ... one day, you just wake
	up an adult ... and mourn your loss.
From: barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: QQQCLC
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 17:04:54 GMT

In article <31517@hydra.Helsinki.FI> taina@cs.Helsinki.FI (Juha Taina) writes:
>In <13NOV92.21925419.0026@lafibm.lafayette.edu> CE42@lafibm.lafayette.edu (CE42000) writes:
>>>I too am new to this news group so hi, y'all.  I was ungraciously dumped
>>Hi! *hug* and welcome to ARC!
>
>I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net.

	That's just the alt.romance crowd. We lynches 'em when we
catches 'em.

						Kayembee :-)
From: chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy Horwitz)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: wish me luck
Date: 18 Nov 92 17:10:05 GMT
Organization: Swarthmore College

Hi,
							I'm new to this board, but I thought I'd share my (I think) very
romantic idea.  I have never asked out a guy before, but I am VERY
interested in someone.  I don't know his name or anything about him.  There
is little chance that I will meet him if I don't approach him.  So... I am
going to find out his name and mail him an anonymous letter asking him to
meet me for dinner at my dorm.  Do you think he will come?  (To the guys)
What would you think if someone did this to
you?
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 08:03:25 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <lgl06rINNqsi@news.bbn.com> dhardin@spcink.bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
>In that case, cross-posting to soc.singles is probably a *BIG* mistake.
>We're not very safe.

Actually we in soc.singles are quite safe.
We just simply expect people to stand up for themselves instead of being
propped up by everybody else in the group.
r.
From: baptiste@bnr.ca (Michael Baptiste P275)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: wish me luck
Date: 18 Nov 92 21:46:55 GMT
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, BNR-RTP

In article <LABTB4FX@cc.swarthmore.edu>, chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy Horwitz) writes:
|> I'm new to this board, but I thought I'd share my (I think) very
|> romantic idea.  I have never asked out a guy before, but I am VERY
|> interested in someone.  I don't know his name or anything about him.  There
|> is little chance that I will meet him if I don't approach him.  So... I am
|> going to find out his name and mail him an anonymous letter asking him to
|> meet me for dinner at my dorm.  Do you think he will come?  (To the guys)
|> What would you think if someone did this to
|> you?
Hmmmm.
Actually, a simple blind date without the friend telling you what
a great personality his/her friend has.  just kidding.

Actually, I'd probably try my hardest to find out who you were
(you have to tell him which dorm.. its a start)
but depending on my social situation (was I attached, etc)
I might go (Yeah I know this doesn't help much)
but it sounds kind of interesting, and if it turned out to
be a disaster, it's only dinner!

Mike