HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Practical jokes & Re: The thief whose past caught up with him
From: hugh@fivegl.co.nz (Hugh Grierson)
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 92 22:05:33 GMT
Reply-To: hugh@fivegl.co.nz (Hugh Grierson)
Organization: Task Management Ltd, Auckland, New Zealand

In article <16494@ulysses.att.com> tom@ulysses.UUCP (Tom Smith) writes:
>
>	A not-so-clever robber-wannabe hands a teller a note
>	instructing him to fork over all his money.  The threatening
>	note was written on one of his personalized deposit slips.
>	Took the cops about 20 minutes to locate this rocket scientist.
>

Reminds me of my favourite practical joke.  I wrote "I have a gun - give
me all your money" on the back of a generic withdrawal slip in a bank.
I watched while an unsuspecting customer used the slip.  The poor guy
just didn't know what was happening - armed police, dogs, the works.
A couple of innocent bystanders were killed in police gunfire, but you
get that.  Somehow this guy survived, and I followed his case through
court.  After the sentencing I just didn't have the heart to tell him
it was all a joke.

Hugh "happens all the time" Grierson

-- 
-Hugh Grierson--hugh@fivegl.co.nz----------Go fast or go home----------------
-Task Management Ltd-Auckland-New Zealand-Ph:+64.9.5206109-Fax:+64.9.5206101-
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:11772 alt.folklore.science:1352
From: nib@crosfield.co.uk (nigel bromley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: Cable TV cheater spotters (was Re: FCC Call letters)
Summary: check the sync
Date: 8 Apr 92 14:21:13 GMT
Organization: Crosfield Electronics, Hemel Hempstead, United Kingdom.

In article <1992Apr7.002016.21392@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com>, billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson) writes:
> But, the cable box is then just doing the same thing your television
> would be doing. It still has an oscillator doing the conversion of
> the signals to channel 3. And the cable box is putting that signal
> directly onto the cable. All they have to do is isolate your signal
> from that of your neighbor, and they can easily detect it.
> 
> It does not take a lot of expensive equipment either. 
> 
> Of course, if they suspect that  you are using the cable without paying,
> they will simply disconnect the cable. If you reconnect it, then they
> have direct evidence for charging you with theft of services.
> 
> Bill

There's another possible way to determine which channel a TV is receiving,
which does not depend on measuring the frequency of the emitted i.f. or
local oscillator, by looking at the scanning pattern. This could be
demodulated from any emitted i.f., or maybe even detected directly from
the deflection current (you can "hear" a TV on an a.m. radio at some
distance, so it must emit quite a bit of power). All you then have to do 
is to look for phase-lock between the local deflection and the sync on known 
broadcast or cable channels.

So then you have to try to explain how the VCR you claimed to be watching
was locked to a channel you haven't paid for!
-- 
   Nigel Bromley        /    0442 230000 x3399  /            /     /  ,--,--,
Crosfield Electronics  / +44 442 230000 x3399  /   ,--,  '  /--,  /  '__/__/
nib@crosfield.co.uk   /    (fax 232301)       /   /  /  /  /__/  /     /
  nib@cel.uucp       /           for (;;) { pp = *ip+1; (***ip++)(); }
From: tjw@vm2.cis.pitt.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Iron in blood setting off metal detectors
Date: 15 Apr 92 18:42:30 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

In article <1992Apr15.023602.8348@sleepy.UUCP>, chris@sleepy.UUCP
(Chris "sleepy" Mills) writes:

> Hi there.  This is my first a.f.u. post (actually, my first non-local post
> since setting up news here).  Standard apoligies if this is a FAQ...

You've made a wise choice posting here first.  We would call it the "right
choice" but we're worried about trademark infringment.


> A friend of mine says he read somewhere that there are people that accumulate
> iron in their bodies to the extent that they set off metal detectors in
> airports.  Anyone hear this?  Is it an U.L.?  Is it true???

Is it true that it's an Urban Legend?  Of course it's true that it's an
Urban Legend.  There was an episode on Star Trek The Next Generation where
a young female alien warns Wesley that a SUPERMAGNET could suck the iron
right out of his blood.  According to the trekies (eeek, TREKKERS) on
the Star Trek Newsgroups, this makes it CANON (or CANNONS or Steve Cannon)
and therefore it MUST be true.

But for the rest of the civilized world, it's bogus.  Don't worry about it.

Terry "But Officer!!! I don't have a gun!  I just took some Geritol!" Wood

> Trivia: One of the tabloids I saw today at the 7-11 was declaring that they
> 	had found a solution to all the "mysteries" (Big Foot, UFO's,
> 	Loch Ness monster, etc.).  I guess they won't have much to write
> 	about anymore...

Yea, even the Weakly World is printing stories about 9 inch long tongues!
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,sci.skeptic
From: harvey@indyvax.iupui.edu
Subject: Re: Matching Tie and Handkerchief
Organization: Indiana University
Date: 10 Apr 92 17:04:41 -0500

In article <69945@ut-emx.uucp>, verbum@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Neal Whitman) writes:
>>>Monty Python's 1973 lp "Matching Tie and Handkerchief" has 2 tracks on side 2.
>>>Of course, being Python, they don't actually bother to mention this anywhere.
>>>I had listened to the album a half-dozen times before I happened onto the
>>>second groove.
>>>
>>Actually, they did.  If you look carefully at either the jacket, or the label,
>>or maybe both, it lists all the routines on side A, all the routines on side B,
>>*AND* all the routines on side C.
> OK, that does it.  When I go home in a week or two, I'm going to dig out my
> copy of this record, which I played quite enough (I should think) back in
> high school to have heard at least once, that mysterious third side.  I'll
> give it 10 tries and if I don't hear anything new by then I'm going to be
> pissed, and you guys better have a list of exactly WHAT sketches were on
> side C.

I heard that only the first edition of this record has the double tracks on
one side.  My copy, which I bought in 1973, has it.  Perhaps you own a later
edition?
--
James Harvey
harvey@iupui.edu
From: nib@crosfield.co.uk (nigel bromley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: AM/PM boundaries
Summary: a better way
Date: 6 Apr 92 12:15:35 GMT
Organization: Crosfield Electronics, Hemel Hempstead, United Kingdom.

In article <92Apr1.232240est.144354@explorer.dgp.toronto.edu>, flaps@dgp.toronto.edu (Alan J Rosenthal) writes:
> jhb@maths.su.oz.au (John Brownie) writes:
> >It's a real pain having to deal with the two different conventions, especially
> >when you get a date where the day of the month is 12 or less...
> >92/03/26 would be much easier...
> This will stop being effective in 8 years and 9 months.

Of course, the form 1992-03-26 will go on for ever.

This form is used by ISO, and I believe also in Japan and some Scandinavian
countries.
-- 
   Nigel Bromley        /    0442 230000 x3399  /            /     /  ,--,--,
Crosfield Electronics  / +44 442 230000 x3399  /   ,--,  '  /--,  /  '__/__/
nib@crosfield.co.uk   /    (fax 232301)       /   /  /  /  /__/  /     /
  nib@cel.uucp       /           for (;;) { pp = *ip+1; (***ip++)(); }
From: mcovingt@athena.cs.uga.edu (Michael A. Covington)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Fax paper curled up (was: Re: Not my house!!!!)
Date: 6 Apr 92 05:12:55 GMT
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens

In article <3APR199204295370@vtcc1.cc.vt.edu> ae313406@vtcc1.cc.vt.edu (Vance Kochenderfer) writes:
>
>ObMildlyAmusingStory: A woman who works in my brother-in-law's office
>thought that when you send a fax, the paper gets rolled up into a
>little tube and is sent down the line.  That's why when you receive
>it, it's always curled up..  Of course, you have to be sure there's
>no dust in the line....

There's a book called "When Old Technologies were New" about people's early
reactions to the telegraph, the telephone, etc.  Writing down a message and
stuffing it into a telephone mouthpiece was a fairly common behavior.
So were requests like "Send this telegram, but don't open the sealed envelope
that it's in because it's a private message."  And there were yokels whose
approach to the telephone was to walk up to it and yell, "Tell Martha I'll
be late" or something like that.

I once saw a BASIC program (which did not work!) with the line

10  LET X = EVERY ODD NUMBER FROM 3 TO 99

or something like that.


-- 
==========================================================================
Michael A. Covington, Ph.D. |  mcovingt@uga.cc.uga.edu  |  ham radio N4TMI
Artificial Intelligence Programs | U of Georgia | Athens, GA 30602  U.S.A.
==========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,misc.kids
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Subject: Re: Walla walla bing bang (was Re: Worm song?)
Reply-To: warren@nysernet.org
Organization: Mail to News Gateway
Date: 7 Apr 92 10:38:22 GMT
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban

In <1992Apr06.193141.2232978@locus.com> judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer) writes:

>"He wore tan shoes, pink shoelaces, a polkadat vest and man-oh-man

I'm sorry, but followups containing the word "sh**s" are no longer
allowed in this newsgroup, it's not Humorlessly Correct.

Warren "knows no Ch*rch*l stories" Burstein
-- 
/|/-\/-\          The entire world		Jerusalem
 |__/__/_/        is a very strange hamantaschen
 |warren@         But the tzitzit maker
/ nysernet.org    is not worried at all.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: anderson@surfsp.enet.dec.com (B. Anderson)
Subject: Re: Rocky Mountain Oysters 
Organization: Why?
Date: 15 APR 92 08:25:05    


In article <1992Apr14.150952.25957@anasaz>, morris@anasaz (Bob Morris) writes...

>Although I suspect most people would say:
> 
>steers = bulls without testicles.
> 
>Bob "how do you get them to stay on?" Morris

Please remember to mark your subjects with the appropriate "(LAME)" heading.

- BA

Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:12105 misc.kids:12807
From: johnnyb@ims.com (Johnny Battle)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,misc.kids
Subject: Re: Walla walla bing bang (was Re: Worm song?)
Date: 9 Apr 92 18:10:35 GMT
Organization: Integrated Measurement Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Apr7.220844.13354@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu>, lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:

|> My favorits is the Freddy Mercury song "Good Girls Don't, but I Do" song
|> by Alvin :-).
|> 
|> (I can just see it now: the Bohemian Rhapsody by Theodore, Simon, and Alvin
|> (OK!))
|> 
|> cjl (Beelzebub's got a devil set aside for me, for me, for meeeeeee!)
|> 

At least the Chipmunks never got into Rap!  My kids would love it but it would
seem like sacriliege to me.  I remember when grownups made fun of Rock 'n Roll
because you couldn`t understand the words.  Now that I've assumed the mantle
of grownupship, I find it unfortunate that you CAN understand the words to most
Rap "music." ("Why can`t they be like weee were: Perfect In Every Way? Oh whats
the matter with Kids today?")

Old Fuddy Duddy,
Johnny Battle
From: dsc@gemini.tmc.edu (Doug S. Caprette Bldg. 28 W191 x3892)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: The wacky, flakey State
Keywords: Wayne & Garth; we have nothing bad to say about them
Date: 10 Apr 92 19:52:23 GMT
Organization: NASA GSFC CDP VLBI

In article <hjejor1@Unify.Com> ceb@dbrus.Unify.Com (Caroline E. Bryan) writes:
>In article <1992Apr6.164548.11655@anasaz> morris@anasaz (Bob Morris) writes:
>>In article <1992Apr2.224828.19567@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu> lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:
>>>
>>>How many other states have an element named after them?
>>
Weren't the elemnents Francium and Polonium named for the independent states
France and Poland?
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:12208 alt.beer:2401
From: 92dms@vax.cc.williams.edu (Bat Rastard)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.beer
Subject: Re: other fun mistranslations..
Date: 14 Apr 92 21:04:00 GMT
Organization: Williams College Center for Computing
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1

In article <1992Apr10.115358.6962@public.sub.org>, peterk@public.sub.org (Peter Kittel) writes...
>Ok, here two examples from Germany:
> 
>When Commodore launched its VIC 20, it had to be renamed to VC 20 here, 
>because the german word for f*ck is spelled indeed with an i, and the 
>V in VIC is pronounced here like an F.
> 
>Rolls Royce has a car named Silver Mist, but in German, "Mist" means
>"dung".
> 
>-- 
>Best regards, Dr. Peter Kittel  // E-Mail to  \\  Only my personal opinions... 
>Commodore Frankfurt, Germany  \X/ {uunet|pyramid|rutgers}!cbmvax!cbmger!peterk
And don't EVER try to order a Tsingtao in a Spanish-speaking country. . .
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:11839 alt.usage.english:2854
From: dternes@duke.cdc.com (David Ternes)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.usage.english
Subject: Re: Pleonasm
Keywords: I don't read headings very carefully
Date: 8 Apr 92 21:54:15 GMT
Article-I.D.: shamash.40640
Reply-To: dternes@mips.COM (David Ternes)
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban
Organization: Advanced Product Development

In article <ku6jr3INN72o@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden) writes:
>
>It was clear to me that my colleague had used an exaggerated writing style
>to emphasize his point. The technique of using more words than necessary 
>(e.g. "he heard with his own ears") is called "pleonasm".  Please write that 
>in big letters in your red books and don't forget it.  PLEONASM, peons.
>
I've always preferred to use tautological pleonasms.

Take that, you taut peon.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: ceb@dbrus.Unify.Com (Caroline E. Bryan)
Subject: Re: Falling bullets on Marilyn's Parade
Organization: /usr/lib/news/organization
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 92 16:44:43 GMT

In article <3447@moscom.UUCP> de@moscom.UUCP (David Esan) writes:
>In article <14795@optima.cs.arizona.edu> tzf@cs.arizona.edu (Theron Friedman) writes:
>>[Personally I believe MvS is really a pseudonym Isaac Asimov, who needed an
>>outlet so he could write & publish more,more,more. It wouldn't be beyond his
>>sense of humor to dream her up.]
>
>Well MvS did marry Dr. Jarvik of the famed "Jarvik" heart.  

One or two years ago a correspondent asked her how she got her appropriate
surname.  She said that it was actually her husband's, that he was a Dutch
businessman.

> ... Asimov, now tired and run down, ...

That's one way of putting it: he died a few days ago.


Carrie "never heard THAT euphemism before" Bryan  ceb@dbrus.unify.com	x6244
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|      A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.  -- Anon.      |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:11855 soc.culture.canada:3246
From: tjc50@ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,soc.culture.canada
Subject: Re: Canadian call letters (was Re: FCC call letters)
Date: 8 Apr 92 23:55:23 GMT
Reply-To: tjc50@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll)
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Apr8.220826.24867@cs.ucla.edu> wales@CS.UCLA.EDU (Rich Wales) writes:
>
>Canada, for that matter, also "owns" VA-VG, VO, VX, VY, and XJ-XO.

Also, 3B-3F.
-- 
The above is my thoughts, not Amdahl's;   |  Terry Carroll  408/992-2152
The above is not legal advice;            |  Senior Computer Architect
All models over 18 years of age;          |  Amdahl Corporation
Contents sold by weight, not by volume;   |  tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com
Your mileage may vary.                    |  tjc50@amail.amdahl.com
From: hawley@adobe.com (Steve Hawley)
Subject: Re: Radio UL
Organization: Adobe Systems Incorporated
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 17:55:55 GMT

>In article <1992Apr8.004651.6300@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com> billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson) writes:
>And just what do they do with the fixed span instruments, such as flutes and
>the woodwinds? The idea would work fine for the string instruments, and such
>instruments as the trumpets which have a tuneable section. Why do you think
>that the instrument that is often used as a tuning reference is a flute? It
>is because the span between notes is fixed and cannot be tampered with.

Actually, there is only so much you can do with the main tuning slide
of a trumpet.  If you try to turn a standard B-flat trumpet into an A
or A-flat trumpet by pulling out the main tuning slide a bit , you'll
find the intonation of any fingered note (ie, one that requires a
valve) way off.  If you compensate by pulling the valve slides a bit,
the intonation will still be off and (even more) difficult to control,
and it will be nearly impossible to play any note that requires the
first and third valves in tune, since those notes are typically sharp
to begin with and require adjustment of the note when you play it by
pushing out either or both of the first and third slides...

Oh and did I mention that the second slide only has about 3/8 of an inch of
play?  Or in the case of my B-flat piccolo trumpet, no play (it's not a
slide - the tubing's just too damn short).

Steve Hawley
hawley@adobe.com
-- 
"Did you know that a cow was *MURDERED* to make that jacket?"
"Yes.    I didn't think there were any witnesses, so I guess I'll have to kill
 you too." -Jake Johansen
From: ceb@dbrus.Unify.Com (Caroline E. Bryan)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Why is calculus so feared?
Date: 8 Apr 92 20:21:41 GMT
Article-I.D.: Unify.llgjf94
Organization: /usr/lib/news/organization

In article <1992Apr6.052914.13964@fivegl.co.nz> hugh@fivegl.co.nz (Hugh Grierson) writes:
>In article <-bkj54#@lynx.unm.edu> pjohnso@triton.unm.edu (Paddy Johnson CIRT) writes:
>>My daughter who is in the 8th grade in Albuquerque, New Mexico is in an
>>honor's math track  ...
>
> ... isn't it interesting that you abreviate the plural "mathematics" to the
>singular "math", while we use "maths"?  "No", I hear you cry in unison, "it's
>not at all interesting."

Probably has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that in the US the word
"mathematics" is a plural-form noun taking a singular verb: i.e., it's singular
to start with.  Fowler, a British reference, seems to think that in British
English "mathematics" is singular or plural depending on context, so it should
be abbreviated (US spelling has 2 b's in "abbreviate") "math" or "maths" de-
pending on context.  So in the US when we contract it to "math" we're right
all the time, and in GB when it's contracted to "maths" it's right only part
of the time, according to their own expert.  What it is in NZ Lord only knows.


Carrie "then there's 'bomb'" Bryan	ceb@dbrus.unify.com	x6244
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|    For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.   -- Anon.     |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dic5340@hertz.njit.edu (David Charlap)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: FCC Call letters
Date: 6 Apr 92 20:28:20 GMT
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.

In article <1992Apr3.115836.28499@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu> lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:
>
>Can anyone properly relate the story about TV's channel one, and why we
>don't have it?  Elements of the story include the 5 and 6 meter amateur
>band, as well as the old FM band usage, etc.

I believe the Channel-1 band is now being used for the 40 channels of
Citizen's Band (CB) radio.

>It was rumored a few years back that cable operators, etc., would be able
>to locate cable cheaters or MDS cheaters by driving through neighborhoods and
>measuring the IF output of TV frequencies (typically 44 MHz) to "know" what
>the people were watching.  So, they could look for "too much" IF energy that
>was tracking the pay cable program as compared to subscriber population in
>the area.  The point was made that they could find all the cheaters merely by
>driving around with "sophisticated tracking equipment" in a van, and that
>this would allow them to track down all the cheaters real easy.  One company
>even had an "amnesty" that allowed you to turn in illicit equipment to their
>business office to avoid prosecution, but only up to a cutoff date, etc.

I'd say this is scare tactics.  If this is possible, it'd take
hideously expensive quantities of equipment.  I'd be really annoyed if
my cable company bought all this crap and then raised subscription
rates to pay for it.

Not to mention, that the IF of a TV is the same when receiving from an
antenna as from cable.

The amnesty day is a trick to get cheaters to subscribe and not much
more.

On thing which was done in (I think) New York was this:  They had a
problem with hundreds of knock-off decoders.  An engineer discovered
that the knock off boxes would fry themselves if a certain power
level/frequency went through them, while the original boxes wouldn't.
They sent this pulse through the cable lines and fried thousands of
rip-off boxes.  They served fines to anyone who complained.



-- 
David Charlap                   Q:"Where do these stairs go?"
dic5340@hertz.njit.edu          A:"They go up"
----------------------------
Hi! I am a .signature virus. Copy me into your .signature to join in!
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis)
Subject: Re: Baby swimming UL (was Re: De-ionized water mishap)
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 14:52:49 GMT
Organization: My Daddy, My Doggy, and Me
X-Bytes: 

Bob Morris writes:

>A commonly believed UL about teaching babies to swim at a tender young
>age is that there is a reflex action that causes them to close their
>mouths when they are immersed so they don't swallow or inhale any water.
>This reflex, the story goes, goes away after a few years, making it
>harder to teach babies to swim.
>
>The result is public pools full of moms (and sometimes dads) and little
>(under one year) babies taking swimming lessons where the parents dunk
>the babies and move them along under the water.
>
>Conversly, I heard from a nurse that there is no such reflex and the
>babies swallow enormous (for a baby) amounts of water during these lessons.
>This can be fatal, as posters for the deionized water thread have stated.

No baby during our swimming lessons came up choking from swallowed water 
after being dropped into the pool. Maybe they don't have a reflex action
to keep them from opening their mouths. Maybe they just overheard their 
nervous parents hoping they wouldn't open their mouths and so they
just didn't.
-- 
Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu>  
You know, there's many a damned fool woulda swallered that.