From: jchandy@crhc.uiuc.edu (John Chandy)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.kerala
Subject: Re: Being Americanized.......
Date: 27 Jan 1993 16:52:28 -0600
Organization: University of Illinois, Center for Reliable and High-Performance Computing
NNTP-Posting-Host: boston.crhc.uiuc.edu
Keywords: Life, living in America

In article <1993Jan27.172655.19352@athena.mit.edu> mcmathew@athena.mit.edu (Mithran C Mathew) writes:

>I've noticed that most of you seem to have been brought up in Kerala, so I may
>perhaps be able to offer you a twist on your view of "life outside Kerala."  I'm
>an American first, born and brought up in Northwest Ohio.  However, both my
>parents are Syrian Christian/Malayalee.  Like I said, I feel like an American
>first, but I have roots in the Indian culture.  I used to go as a boy to Kerala,
>staying for a month in Tiruvilla, at my grandma's house.  I actually loved it
>there, while a kid.
>
>However, now that I am 19, I see the world in a different light.  All my life,
>all of my friends have been White caucasians.  They have been the people
>I have hung around with all of my high school and college years, especially
>now since I am in a fraternity here at MIT.  Slowly, the process of assimilating
>is taking place here in the States.
>

I'm sort of in the same boat that you're in.  Like you I was born and
brought up in the US (Massachusetts), and I also did my undergrad at
MIT.  I don't know how many Malayalis (or Indians for that matter)
there were in NW Ohio.  For example, did your parents associate a lot
with other Malayalis when you were growing up.  I find that this is
very important in who your friends are.  I find that most of my close
friends are all Malayalis because I went to church with them and saw
them nearly every weekend at parties and such.  Now that we're older
and deciding our own activities apart from our parents, most of us
still hang out together.  I don't know if this is good or bad, but I
think this sort of phenomenon is more common in areas where there are
a lot of Malayalees like New York, Chicago, Texas, etc.

>I've noticed that most Indian-Americans, and the few Malayalis that I know, 
>is that they tend to stick to themselves once they come here.  It is the typical 
>multicultural dilemna;  blacks hang around with blacks, whites with whites, 
>chinese with chinese, and unfortunately,  Indians with Indians.  You'd be amazed
>at the number of Americanized Indian couples there are here at the young age of
>18 and 19.  This to me is unfortunate;  most of these people were the best in 
>their school;  they had to get along and be friends with everyone. My gut feeling
>is that they are running scared from other people, not that they are trying to
>find their roots.  It is only at MIT, not high school, that I see people 
>starting to separate  along racial and ethnic boundries, and I don't think 
>this is good.

When I was at MIT, I found the exact opposite of what you are experiencing.
When I was there, the only Indian-Americans (IA) that I knew were in my
dorm and that's it.  I found no special relationship between IAs, i.e.
any more or less than with white students.  It may be because there
were fewer IAs in college five years ago, and also the Indian
association catered to grad students directly from India.  Now, that
I'm a grad student here at the Univ. of Illinois, I find what you said
is true, probably because of the large IA population (~800 students)
and also the very active Indian student association.

I agree with you that all of us American born Malayalis are Americans
first, and Malayalis second.  Actually, I've never really felt any type
of special bond with non-Malayali Indians, but that's another matter.
Since I went to church with other Malayalis and associated with them,
I think I feel comfortable with them, but I don't think it is
imperative that all IAs be forced to adopt the culture of the
homeland.  However, I don't think it is necessarily true that
connecting with other Malayalis means the loss of association with the
dominant American culture.

Another ironic point that you sort of touched on is attempting to
accept Kerala as "home".  To me and I suspect for you also, the US is
home, and I could never see myself leaving it for another country.
Obviously, that tie or bond to "home" is not as strong for the
thousands of Malayalis leaving Kerala and coming to the US every year.
How can they expect us to accept Kerala as "home", when they
themselves have abandoned it?

Well, an interesting topic.

John Chandy
j-chandy@uiuc.edu