From: mlloyd@westmark.Stanford.EDU (Mike Lloyd)
Subject: Re: I'm unhappy
Organization: DSO, Stanford University
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 92 04:45:34 GMT

h431@quads.uchicago.edu (heather e blair) writes:
: In article <1992Sep17.231722.9664@latcs1.lat.oz.au> woodhous@latcs2.lat.oz.au (Joe P Woodhouse) writes:
: >
: >   I'm really upset because soc.bi, which is the only completely friendly
: >& safe space I have, has got all sorts of nasty things happening in it
: >now. One of my loves summed it up perfectly when they said "...I'm reading
: >soc.bi and feeling bad! I don't read soc.bi to feel bad!".
: 
: I think it may have calmed down now.  That odd guy with the dick hanging
: out the window brought up lots of anger.  I'm not sure it did us all good
: or evil.

Mike surveys the rubble left by now-historical (cross-fingers) events,
and scratches his head, feeling bone-weary (and distinctly unwell, but
there are external reasons for that bit).  He ponders whether there is
space for some meta-discussion, or whether it has all been said.

To be specific, I know several people, with whom I've been talking,
who unsubscribed, came close to un-subbing, or are still thinking
about it.  Now perhaps I just know a lot of the people who got
really upset by it all.  Still, I find myself trying to convince
people that what they want to say will be heard here, that they
have a place in soc.bi if they want it.

I'm trying to formulate a question, and it isn't easy.  I guess
it's something like: are there things which people (any and
all people, lurkers or posters) *don't* want in this group?
There are obvious answers, like irrelevant material or
phobic or sexist material.  I have to make the question more
rigid - are there things worth actively trying to remove?
After all, we have kill-files, and ample space to just ignore
crud if we find it so.  Having said that, some people who (like me)
read *everything* in here, have been hurt.  I guess I'm
less interested in what to do about it - there's not much,
at least via postings (e-mail is much better for that) - 
and more interested in what exactly it was that hurt.

Let me come clean(ish) -  someone has specifically told me that
sie thinks people will not respect hir posts in the future
because of all this.  (If you're guessing who it is, you're
probably wrong.)  That's why I want to know what people here
don't want.  It's clear that there are preferences - plenty of
us have talked about hom awful it was and how much better it's
getting (again, I'm well entrenched on that list).  What are
these prefs?

It's possible we can't all address this now.  If you prefer to
skip it, please do.  I'm pretty unsure about putting up this
much.  Still, if you would like to reply, posting or e-mail
is OK - your choice - although I point out that my email
turnaround time is getting very long just now.

Mike, "unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed"
-- 
Mike Lloyd, B0/1 h- f- t w- c g+ k+ s m- e? |"Bloody nose and burning eyes
      Retro-hippy, music nut, bi and        | Raised in laughter to the skies"
          backrubber of devotion            |     - Bruce Cockburn
 ....."I suffer from internalized homophonophobia"....."Their, they're".....
Newsgroups: soc.bi