HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 13:20:40 GMT

In article <1992Aug11.222201.3348@adobe.com> lstein@adobe.com (Larry Stein) writes:
>      Well, Peter, you better NEVER, EVER drive in Europe.  Try pulling
>      that kind of bullshit there and somebody in a Porsche or Ferrari,
>      coming up on you at about 150MPH with their lights flashing,
>      will get on your tail and try to buttfuck your poor little Renault
>      5 back to Cleveland.  And frankly, I hope they do!!

Sorry, but I already have. OK, in England. And not in a Renault. If someone
in a plastic car wants to tailgate at 150 mph, then it will probably
hurt him more than me.

Of course, I was having enough trouble keeping the car centered in the
lane because the *&(*#$@ steering wheel is on the wrong side!

>      The flashing of lights is standard operating procedure on European
>      roads.

And we would all like to emulate those wonderful European drivers?
What's your point?
>
>      I bet you read Consumer Reports for car information, too.

No, but I bet you read ComputerWorld and watch "Star Trek"...

Peter!


Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: eng20015@nusunix2.nus.sg (GOH KING SHY)
Subject: subject
Organization: National University of Singapore
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 08:17:09 GMT


	What is the topic of discussion for this newsgroup?

  -jinX.
   eng20015@nusunix1.nus.sg
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Intellectual property (was Vegetarian arrogance)
Date: 19 Aug 92 13:36:48 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <1992Aug18.231428.14906@twg.com> nolan@twg.com writes:
>In article <1992Aug18.144259.10192@bbxrbk>, russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>>Nolan: you stole my gag.  Here I've been merrily posting, meeting
>>peevers and folklorists and happily giving away "CLUE"s, and you steal
>>my gag.  After meeting me once.
>
>Hey! It was so good I couldn't resist. Besides, it saves paper.
>>
>>Nolan, meet Mr. Brass Knuckles.  Mr. Knuckles, meet Nolan.
>
>Hi, Nucks. Pleeztameetcha.
>
>>Russ "aghast at the violence potential" Kepler
>
>Remember, Russ, imitation is the sincerest form...

...of instigating trademark litigation?


OK, go ahead and give out a *few* clues, but be careful - those
suckers can cost later when they're redeemed.  The little ones don't
bother me but think of some of the big ones you've sent out being
displayed on those huge displays...

-- 
.signature: not found.  Create?
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan Evans)
Subject: Re: Random Peeve
Summary: What?
Organization: University of New South Wales
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 00:34:10 GMT

01sybok@ac.dal.ca (Herman the Hermaphrodite) writes:
> allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan (call me Linda)Evans) writes:
                                                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Is this your personal fantasy? Sorry, I'm years younger and a different sex. 
Oops... I nearly forgot... that sort of thing makes *you* wet.

> > 01sybok@ac.dal.ca (Mike) writes:

[A lot of drivel, much of which he seemed to think was *intellegent*. Since
 everone now has their dictionaries out, perhaps "deluded" is a good word to
 look up.]

> > Mike Quote One:
    [An unintended ironic statement]
> > 
> > Mike Quote Two:
> >> Mike, the Reigning King of Obtuse 
> >         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > 
> > THIS, perhaps, is true irony. (Mike Quote Two)
> 
> I think it rather more ironic that I take an obtuse pride in being purposely 
> obtuse, don't you, Al?

Well, you've got me there. You certainly excel in obfuscatory remarks. I will
admit though, since you take pride in lacking keenness or quickness in
comprehension, you have succeeded beyond all doubt in accomplishing your goals.

> > I suppose Mike Quote One could be sarcasm... It is true that Mike is 
> > *NOT* modest, 
> 
> GASP! caught! *smirk* (Al, please note: This is sarcasm).

Quoth he.

> >and probably could not smirk secretly as well. However,
> > it is likely that Mike did not know what he was talking about.
> 
> Or gee Al, maybe I did, and was being obtuse on purpose. What a neat thought, 
> eh? (said with a mixture of sarcasm and irony, for the terminally stupid.)

Please look up the definition of obtuse. 

> > I think... it is unlikely that the irony of his signature is apparent
>   ^^^^^^^ well, *there's* a shocker.

I can understand why this would shock you. Fear of the unknown.

> this post, you'd think I was Shakespere ( I say "was" instead of "were" 
                               ^^^^^^^^^^
Show this to mommy. You may get spanked... don't get too wet now.

> Mike, (Smarter than Al, or just better looking? You be the judge)

Case dismissed. Throw the bozo in the hole. 

Al
_______________________________________________________________________________
| Yes, I know my return address is messed up. Petition my sysadmin..........  |
| Allan H. Evans * School of Geography * UNSW * PO Box 1 Kensington 2033 Aust.|
| allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU  Remote Sensing and Spatial Information Systems |
From: pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: unpronounceable names (was Re: Drivers from Hell)
Date: 13 Aug 92 09:46:58 GMT
Reply-To: pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg)
Organization: Laboratory for the Foundations of Computer Science, Edinburgh U

In article <BsvwEH.Lzt@wpi.WPI.EDU> padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan
Dutton) complains about an admittedly fairly inane post that suggested
that he sign his name "Dick!":
      [...]
>am I supposed to be so blown away by his eloquent retort that I should
>resign from this newsgroup forever? What I submit to the readers of
>this group is: what is his point?
>
>Peter! (not Richard!)

His point is that the rest of us don't know how to pronounce your
name. It is unclear whether we should say "peter bang" or "peter
factorial" or simply assume that your name is meant to be read in a
slightly louder voice than the preceding text. As names go, it's
slightly easier to come to terms with than "Mike *smirk*" which I for
one would not even try to pronounce ("mike star smirk star" is just
cumbersome, and trying to combine a smirk with the utterance of the
name "Mike" is too hard on my facial muscles, although I suppose if
that's your name you'd get used to it.)

yours in puzzlement,
Paul?


Voltaire to Rousseau, on reading Rousseau's "Ode a la Poste'rite'":
"Mon ami, voila une lettre qui ne sera jamais recue a son addresse"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Love Rhino GIF
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 92 17:32:32 GMT

I misplaced the picture I had of a certain Love Rhino.  How's that for
a peeve?  Now, none of us ('cept me and I imagine any others who have
seen him in the flesh) will get to see him.

Blame it on the rain.
--
"Among free peoples, the open exchange of ideas
ultimately is our greatest security." - President Ronald Reagan
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Studs or Duds, you decide ( Was Re: !Peeve of the century
Date: 18 Aug 92 21:49:02 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <9#0m_4=@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
>In article <17487@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
[Acheived Singularity]
>"Ooooh, does this mean you're *available*?" he asked, eyebrow raised in
>a impudent manner.

Get in line. Take a number.

>Actually the possibilities (not merely with Booter, in general) of a Peeves
>Dating Game bring a smile to my sardonic features. Imagine a game, sort
>of like *Studs*, but without the lizard host dude, in which two dudes (or
>babes) have each gone on a date with three babes (or dudes). The three post
>peeves about the date (insert <heh> you own rude comments here), and each 
>dude or babe has to identify the originator of the peeves, and they win an 
>all-expense-paid trip to Albuquerque or Newark or Margate or some equally
>exciting and romantic city if the're correct more often than the other.


I think I will pass. The notion of going out with whoever has written
this week's AutoGeoff makes me cringe.

However, you are more than welcome to buy me a few margaritas once
I get to NM with my Obnoxious Tourist Camera and Bedraggled Expression.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 17:42:17 GMT

In article <1992Aug12.100700.18573@doug.cae.wisc.edu> saunders@luther.che.wisc.edu (Brian E. Saunders) writes:
>
>Bite me.

Peeve: Those who accidentally post to alt.peeves instead of
alt.sex.bondage...

Peter!
From: Gordon.Riddell@prg.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Cotton buds
Date: 17 Aug 92 14:43:29 GMT
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

In  <yBZFPB9w165w@mantis.co.uk> Mathew says :

|Actually, the stupid warnings on the back of packs of cotton buds really
|annoy me.  You know, the ones that say "DANGER: DO NOT STICK COTTON BUDS IN
|YOUR EAR".

|Well, pardon me, but apart from sticking them in your ear (or someone else's)
|the only use I can think of for cotton buds is cleaning the heads of cassette
|decks.  Perhaps I'm just not imaginative enough.  I'd love to know what the
|manufacturers think they're for.


I may be falling for a wee joke from Mathew here but I thought everyone knew
cotton buds were for sticking up your kids' arses (for medical reasons not
pleasure, of course!).

Gordon
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Random Peeve
Date: 17 Aug 92 20:19:35 GMT
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1992Aug17.011942.3386@usage.csd.unsw.OZ.AU>, allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan Evans) writes:
> "Guess whoo" from ac.dal.ca writes:
>> allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan the Ass from Oz) writes:
>                                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Very original Mikey
> 

Why, tahnk you, Al. O *did* think it was several cuts up from that Herman the
Hermaphrodite remark, but I was pretty sure you weren't going to pick that up.

>> What, attractive women with a personality? You bet.
> 
> How long have you thought that Linda Evans was not a woman?

I think perhaos you'd better read what I wrote again.

>> Or perhaps "presunptuous".
> 
> This is in *your* dictionary? I realize that you did not realize that
> Shakespeare has more than one "a" in it, but believe it or not, I think
> you may have trouble finding presunptuous in any dictionary.
> 

Whoops! The editor from hell strikes again. Shakespere spelled his name several
different ways, or so I was taught. Your spelling *is* the most common, but
it isn't the only one around.

>> Well, I know I thought *this* was the best comeback I've seen in a bit.
>> NAWT.
> 
> You certainly exhibit a lack of literary knowledge. Perhaps you should read
> a book now and then instead of comic books. Wayne may have a funny world, 
> but... listen closely... the real world is subtly different.

Why thank you Al. I do believe that's *the* most pretentious thing I've heard
in a while. Didn't youe mother ever tell you it was beurgois to comment on
somebody's education ?


> I thought as much. You are looking in the glossary of an Engineering text...
> a dictionary is not quite the same thing. 

Ah... I guess the words OXFORD CONCISE ENGLISH DICTIONARY are just a clever
ruse, eh?

>Which fraternity are you a member of?

I am a proud member of Phi Delta Theta, thank you.

> 
> It is a tale
> Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury;
> Signifying nothing.
> 
> 		-William Shakespeare, Macbeth.
>                          ^^^^^^^^^^^^
> 
> If your mother thinks *you* are a good writer, the fate of the next generation
> is to be literary buffoons.
> 
> Al

Why thank you, Al. I'm sure we couldn't survive without pretentious beurgeosie
such as yourself... to make fun of.

Mike
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:13557 talk.bizarre:26138
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Neuromancer")
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Handwriting (was: Spelling Flame)
Date: 15 Aug 92 18:29:03 GMT
	<24857@castle.ed.ac.uk> <1992Aug15.165050.403@uwm.edu>
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu's message of 15 Aug 92 16:50:50 GMT

In article <1992Aug15.165050.403@uwm.edu> terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net) writes:
   it helps if it's been coated in some
   hardening acrylic.

Epoxy works good for this.
--

                And for to see, and eke for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: Why can't I work in Europe?
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Activists
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 21:02:16 GMT

In article <1992Aug14.100957.6950@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>, z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:

>Hmm? Ha? What? How did my driving skills get involved in this? I haven't 
>mentioned *anything* about my driving preferences. Maybe you have me confused
>with someone else... 

	No, I acted on a hunch.  It may be wrong, but it is plausible.
As banta sez, it's a good mental image even if it is incorrect.  I
still think it fits.

>> Perhaps the monastary would be a better place?  Even nuns have their 
>standards.
>
>I thought those were "habits."
>
	Nuns kicked the habit years ago.  No, I meant "standards," as in,
"Can you hammer a six-inch nail through a two-by-four with your penis?"
"No."
"Girl's gotta have her standards."


>>>I think this is somehow unfair.
>> 	Translation: "Whahhh!"  Live with it.
>
>Dude, it isn't exactly causing me to pine away with grief. I thought this
>was alt.peeves, BTW. You know, where people go to kvetch about their life and 
>the problems therein.

	It is indeed, and yours was just too damn boring.  Get mad, get
eloquent.  Elaborate, expectorate, give us something we can fume about
with you.  "I think this is somehow unfair." doesn't cut it.

>> 	If you look closely you'll see 600dpi printing on those signatures.
>> No self-respecting president or veep wastes his time writing rejection
>> letters -- that's what the computer and form letter software is for.

>I have the letter right here. It's ball point. No question about it.

	If the president or veep writes rejection letters, you don't want
to work for them anyway.  You'll be a middle manager in the engineering
department, scrubbing toilets and emptying trash for minimum wage.


--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"There'll be angels on Ariels in leather>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | and chrome, Ridin' down from heaven    >
<viking@iastate.edu      | just to carry me home." -- R. Thompson >
< ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee. >
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: My Favorite Literature (Was: Drivers from Hell)
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<l7r592INN8hl@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> <1683BBC4D.M23231@mwvm.mitre.org>
	<ATAYLOR.92Aug7113656@gauss.nmsu.edu>
	<1992Aug8.115220.4465@email.tuwien.ac.at>
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 00:48:16 GMT

<In article <1992Aug8.115220.4465@email.tuwien.ac.at> alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky) writes:

<   ataylor@nmsu.edu (mangler of headers) writes:

	Gee, this is almost enough to make me want to go
	to one of the SCA functions again....what a title!!

[I wrote to a now-silent newbie from Back East]
<>	And you're a mewling little self-rightous peabrain
<>	who wouldn't know a sociopath if one ripped off your
<	leg and used the kneecap for a gearshift knob.

<   read too many john irving books, eh? 

	Nope. Never read one at all. S. Clay Wilson inspired
	that passage.

ObPeeve: it's been difficult to find Wilson's work, lately.

	"....I hate a sore loser"
		----Checkered Demon
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.tasteless
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 14:34:17 GMT

In article <1992Aug18.004550.6134@fid.morgan.com> sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart) writes:
>In article <1992Aug12.021120.18964@news.iastate.edu>
>z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>>geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>>
>>>You mentioned manslaughter and murder, and bandied them about quite casually,
>>>I thought.  But ripping the lungs out of someone like you would be neither.
>>>What it would be is justifiable homicide.
>>
>>	With all due respect to our mayor, homicide doesn't work in this
>>particular instance.  The root "homo" means same, equal, or like.  I submit
>>that his driving is not at all like ours, nor is his view of the world.  The
>>appropriate phrase to describe his demise is "civic improvement."
>
>I generally refer to such activities as "justifiable fungicide".
>
I like "sanitation", myself.

>++++++++++++++++++++Seth    sethb@fid.morgan.com++++++++++++++++++++++


-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU (Alex Elliott)
Subject: Re: PeeveFestEast92 - It's Official!
Organization: Yale University Physics Department
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 20:02:24 GMT

In article <mhart.713802988@blackjack> mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
>
>Saturday, August 22nd, 1992, will be the date of the long awaited,
>sure-to-be-peeve-filled PeeveFestEast92.  All peevers are invited.

I'm sure that after the PeeveFest is over, many peevers will have peeves
about getting to and from the event, or even about the event itself.
("Everyone else wanted hot wings.  I hate hot wings, but since everyone
  else wanted them we got them.  When laura reached across the table to
  get one, she knocked my beer into my lap and Curtis laughed so hard that
  his drink came out his nose and dribbled all over the hot wings.  I 
  wasn't planning to eat any of the hot wings because I hate hot wings
  but it was still pretty ucky.")

Anyway, I thought I would beat the rush and post a peeve that I am 
absolutely sure will come to pass.

I am visiting my parents for several days around the weekend of the
PeeveFest.  On Saturday, I will borrow one of their cars and drive
down to DC to attend PFE92.

Peeve:  I know already that my father will complain that I only come
to visit so that I can borrow the car and spend all my time driving
around visiting other people.  I'll be there for six nights and only
one of them will be co-opted by PFE92, but he will make it sound as
if I arrived, said "hi", and immediately took off with the car, returning
only minutes before I was due to leave again.

Maybe I should do just that so that his complaint will at least be 
justified.


Alex Elliott
The Lemming.
elliott@minerva.cs.yale.edu
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 16 Aug 92 22:37:35 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <1992Aug14.194427.8401@cs.yale.edu> elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU (Alex Elliott) writes:
>That's it.  No real traffic, no emergency stops, no parallel parking.
>Not exactly a difficult test.
	In Texas, they do make you try to parallel park, but it is not
worth very much, so it is easy to pass even if you can't do it.

Peeve: After 3-4 minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get my car into
that damned spot, the women giving the test told me to "Give up. You
should still pass anyway." She said this when she noticed that I had
managed to get the car pointing straight into the spot. More 
perpendicular than parallel.

!Peeve: I have since learned to parallel park

-- 
Chris Baldwin                | Robert Johnson invented the pickle! 
baldwin@carina.unm.edu       |                         - Adam Reid
          If I were a carpenter I'd hammer on my piglet. -- TMBG
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: raj@netcom.com (Roger Lee)
Subject: Re: ]<razy ]<atz (was: Packaging and Stuff)
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 92 22:36:31 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In <l92522INNsi@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:


>Peeve:  Cats that are unclear on the concept.

>When I was in junior high school, I had a cat that would dutifully 
>report to the litter box upon hearing the call of nature.  So far,
>so good.

reminds me of a friends dog (17 and getting senile) that would go outside
to do his duty. Well, he would go half way out (butt still inside), and
let 'er rip. I guess as far as he was concerned, he WAS outside.....

>BonusPeeve:  The way so many people will include the "Re:" when they
>change the Subject line, e.g., "(was: Re: Packaging and stuff)."


obPeeve: Mailers/readers that force Re: in the subject line.
-- 
 /=================================================\
// raj@netcom.com      Missed it by >< That much   \================\
||                                                                  \\
|| Come one, Come ALL! Come join me in the Church of Appliantology  ||
\\                   L. Ron Hoover                                  //
 \==================================================================/
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,misc.consumers,rec.skiing
From: nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca (Mark Nesdoly)
Subject: Re: wrong health care, and WON'T pay for it
Keywords: malpractice, negligence
Organization: University of Saskatchewan
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 16:57:27 GMT

In December, I had the pleasure of having my tonsils removed.  Before the
operation, the doctor told me that he would start the IV, inject a mild 
anaesthetic (sp.?), which would make me drowsy, and then they would put me 
out.  What they didn't tell me is that with the mild anaesthetic they also
inject a small amount of currarie (sp.?) to relax your muscles so that 
they can stick a tube down your throat.  

Peeve:  I found out the hard way that I am "hypersensitive" to currarie.

Peeve:  The anaesthetist and nurse were not so quick to catch on.

MegaPeeve:  I could not breathe, and since I could not breathe, I could not
            alert them to my problem.

I was in a state of sheer panic, and wondering just how much longer my 
brain cells could last with their oxygen supply cut off, when I heard the
nurse say "He can't...."  That's when I lost consciousness.

Peeve:  The doctors did not want to discuss with me the reason as to why I
        could not breathe before I went under, and were rather sheepish
        about the whole affair.  Pricks.

-- Mark
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Why can't I work in Europe?
Date: 12 Aug 92 15:45:53 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg) writes:

>Right now I think the only immigrants that the govt. would actually
>welcome are those who promise that the first thing they'll do is buy a
>house.

You mean there *are* such people?

Maybe I could sell them the Tower of London while they're at it.....

Peeve: I'm gonna have to use British Rail to get to London tomorrow. 

!peeve: Hawkwind all-nighter there on Saturday.

>Paul.

FoFP