From: M16585@mwvm.mitre.org
Subject: Re: Only Child - A Summary
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, McLean VA 22102
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 12:30:54 GMT

In article <1992Jul28.124319.17955@csd.brispoly.ac.uk>
c_lakhan@csd.brispoly.ac.uk (C Lakhani) writes:
 
>
>Hi,
>
>A summary as requested,  Sorry it took so long.  Thank you all for your
>correspondence (too numerous to mention individually).
>
>Disadvantages with having an only child
>
>1.	Onlies demand constant attention from adults.  They get tired of
>	entertaining him/her.
>
>2.	All goals and aspirations(parental) flung on one child.  Parents
>	also tend to worry about doing the right thing by him/her, whereas
>	with two, one gets a breather now and again.
>
>3.	Onlies don't learn to share/live with other people.  Even if children
>	are encouraged to have an outside interest, there are times at home
>	with only the parent(s) as company.  Also problems about latchkey
>	children are exacerbated with onlies.  They don't learn how to
>	negotiate and compromise.
>
>4.	Onlies have no one to share problems with (the peer group variety).
>	No one to discuss parental problems with.
>
>5.	Miss out on lessons learnt from sibling rivalry.
>
Like, how cruel siblings can be(smothering one with a blanket,locking
one under the stairs in a cubby hole-& leaving the house, etc)
Great lessons, they've really helped me in life, now I am a definite
claustrophobic.  But then, I also know how to take down a man that
is larger than myself with very little trouble.
 
>6.  	Miss out on the bond that exists between siblings.  Apparently it
>	is very deep.
>
Yeah, it's great, and every Christmas, Birthday, etc I hope to see that
brother of mine, maybe someday I will.  A feeling I think everyone should
experience--builds character and all that.
 
>7.	Onlies develop an unhealthy attachment to material things.  This
>	arises from the fact that things like toys etc. never have to be
>	shared, rarely get broken through someone else's fault.
>
'Unhealthy Attachment'? I can't honestly buy this, my husband is an only
and he isn't that attached to anything but me and our son. My brother, on
the other hand, is so materialistic it's pathetic.
 
>8.	Bossiness factor is prevalent among onlies.  Onlies like to direct
>	all the action.
>
Opinionated maybe, but I haven't witnessed this bossiness in any of my
only friends etc.
 
>
>9.	Miss out on support after one or both parents have died.  Cannot
>	share the burden of looking after ageing parent(s) if necessary.
>
It has been my experience that with an aging parent, only one child ever
takes on the responsibility and the others don't help out in any way, except
to critize the person who has taken on all the responsibility.
 
>10.	There is a societal thing against only children.  Some parents will
>	almost accuse you of Child Abuse if you have an Only.
>
That's probably due to multi-kids being subconsciously jealous of onlies.
 
>11.	Onlies never master playing by someone else's rules.  Grow up
>	socially incompetent.  Have a hard time having roommates.
>
'Socially incompetent'?! pretty strong words. And completely wrong.
All the onlies I know are outgoing, friendly, helpful etc. I just can't
buy this socially incompentance.
 
I did not see the original posts since I just started reading this within
the last few weeks.
Ellie
Newsgroups: misc.kids