From: godura@thorin.cis.udel.edu (Ruchir Godura)
Subject: Re: Flash news on MOOstafa
Organization: University of Delaware, Newark
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 23:24:38 GMT

In article <1ifed7INNlcf@aludra.usc.edu> fafat@usc.edu (Vijay Fafat) writes:
>
>Some Grad. students at the Cowlarado School of Minds have cownfessed that
>they've been testing their latest AI program secretly on SCI. Lovingly
>called MOOstafa (for reasons to be clear later), this AI program was put thru
>the classic Chinese room Turing test on SCI to see if it could fool the 
>SCIers (arguably the closest in level of intelligence to MOOstafa :) with
>it's responses. The test almost failed, with intelligentlemanlies like 
>Samit Bannerjee, deepak Bose, Nishit Dey, PhoPhot moshai and Deb realizing
>this was a free ride. But the grads are thrilled with the results 
>nevertheless since MOOstafa can do wonderfool things.
>
>When exhorted to write poems, he came up with gems; like:
>
>Hickory Dickory Doki,
>The Bose went up the clock,
>MOOstafa fell down and broke his crown
>And Nimmala came tumbling after.
>
>MOOstafa was given a crash cowrse in SCI replying and he does funny things.
>When Bose rams him (no pun on RAM intended) with the choicest epithets, he 
>goes into the F mode (also F words) and reproduces the whole article, 
>bashing himself once again (researchers are trying to track his 
>sado-masochistic readings) and then ends up with a brilliant but wimpy line, 
>"same to you baby", which is an apparent vestige from the days he was taught
>" Mary had a littil baby". 
>
>Researchers were stunned once when MOOstafa mooed, " The difference between
>man and animal is religion". They had a massive problem of controlling the
>dangerous religious tendencies amongst AI programs. Can't have them fighting
>over mosque-itoes. MOOdarshan Ramachandran of USC is lending expertise in this
>area to the grads.
>
>However, 2 things trouble the grads.
>
>1] The apparent fascination which MOOstafa has with animals. He flames 
>Nimmala to get knowhow on the canine breeds (esp. the Pavlovian kind, cowrtesy
>Dr. Banerjee :), Phophot to know about toads, Samit to know about virii...
>actually, MOOstafa gets cowrious about virulent elements which can cause 
>anything from MOOlaria to cowncer. That fits his tendencies which the grads
>have fed into him since he is to be used as a secret weapon against India.
>Pre-emptively dubbed "MOOstafa virus", this culture is supposed to have
>outshadowed Crick's "retro-virii" and even the extremely potent "Doki-Rajat
>virus". Dr. Deb has been developing a vaccine against him (called "Bose dada")
>but can MOOstafa be cowntained before it's too late?
>
>2] MOOstafa is known to go into an infinite loop everytime Dr. Deb calls him
>:Asim Mughal's katlu donkey". The grads can't understand this since apparently,
>MOOstafa should feel elated at the metaphor. If software types tRaiTors like
>Sridhar Venkataraman can help, MOOstafa should be MOOchos Gracias.
>
>Further research is being spawned (MOOstafa likes this :) and should see
>publications by Dr. Godura soon.

Recent test runs of Moostuffa I-brain-heim has shown an abrupt adeptness
at natural language processing. Some researchers attribute this to the
fact that certain older versions of MI, are interfering with its output,
and filtering it to produce a more user-intelligible interface. Such
phenomena is not unheard of, as in the case of SUPR(A*)TIC, a primitive
experi-mental program.
Moostuffa-I-brain-heim has also shown viral behaviour. It apparently
infects various programs (minds) left running in an idle loop and
rapidly replicates to produce a genus anonimus uppercasus, of which two
distinct breeds are known .. Hahabosus and Smileymoostuffus. Recently,
however, a new species emerged called blamus banerjeecus. The actual
machine-specific origins of these viruses are not known yet, and Dr Fi
Penet has been approached for help.
Meanwhile, a debate rages on what this area of research be known as.
Artificial intelligence, it was realized, is a misnomer. Suggestions
from Prof. Debchat are "Artificial stupidity", but on third thoughts, it
was agreed that the pathbreaking findings were actually an exercise in
discovering the wonders of "natural stupidity".

from Prof. Debchat are "Artificial stupidity", but 
Prof. God-bole Oraculus.
-- 
Ruchir Godura | godura@cis.udel.edu | (302) 731-4123 (H) (302) 831-1949 (W)
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