HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Subject: Re: Hunt them down and kill them (ALSO Advice on Long Distance Romance)
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 04:39:31 GMT

In article <00961ECD.D43265C0@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> gcv2010@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>I disagree.  I don't think it's worse to hurt others.  (I can see I'm going to
>be misunderstood and will probably go down in flames.)  It is somewhat painful
>to hurt others, but it doesn't even begin to compare to one's own broken heart.
>If I hurt someone, I'll see it in their eyes, but then I can move on.  If
>someone hurts me, I have to learn to live with that pain.

I probably should have explicitly added IMHO to my first posting, because it
all depends on what each individual handles better. I can handle being hurt
one whole helluva lot better than I can handle the fact that I've hurt 
someone else (even when it had to be done to avoid a greater hurt later on).
I know how to heal my broken heart, and deal with that agony, and eventually
make it better, but I can't do that for someone else's pain.

This doesn't mean I avoid doing things that have to be done; only that I wish
I didn't have to do it.


-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
From: mcsbc3ktp@dct.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How long has it been
Date: 8 Oct 92 13:04:02 GMT
Organization: Dundee Institute of Technology

In article <1992Oct6.174616.23551@ennews.eas.asu.edu>, naveena@enuxhb.eas.asu.edu (Naveena Michael) writes:
> 
> In response to the question of how long has it been since you have been kissed
> by a member if the opposite sex:.......
> 
> How about NEVER.... Am I missing something????
> 
> Blame it on my cultural background....
> 
> Naveena Michael
-- 

I think you are Naveena.....why exactly I do not know.....I suppose it is

just plain...clean...fun!!!!!

################################################################################
# Kirk P at D.I.T. (Dundee Institute of Technology, Dundee, Scotland, U.K.)    #
#                                                                              #
# Janet : mcsbc3ktp@dct.ac.uk                                                  #
#      or mcsbc3ktp@dct.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk                               #
#                                                                              #
#                   K E E P    G R O O V Y !                                   #
################################################################################
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples
From: bwwoodco@nyx.cs.du.edu (bryan woodcock)
Subject: lokking for a good anniversary present
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 92 23:16:06 GMT



Hello, my name is Bryan Woodcock. I don't like to capitalize things, but
the reason I am writing is because I am looking for a good present for my
girlfriend of two months! Last month I gave her a half-dozen red roses.
One of the problems I have is that I am on a limmitted budget because of
college. I truly love this girl. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her.
I want it to be real special.

Please help me ...

To soc.couples readers: Sorry for the additional posting, and thanks for
the suggestions so far. Especially for yours SCOTT, thank you.

Bryan Woodcock
Woodcock_bw@alice.lrc.edu
    &
bwwoodco@

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: robg@citr.uq.oz.au (Rob Geraghty)
Subject: Re: sexual peaks
Organization: Prentice Centre, University of Queensland
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 08:49:10 GMT

chyde@pecos.ads.com (Clinton Hyde) writes:

>some of that 'peak' referred to is based on certain aspects of
>physical/muscular development. as I undersstand it, the man's sexual
>development stops around 18, whereas the woman's continues at least
>until around 40. (why is this, do you suppose?)

I hate to make a totally physiological suggestion, but my guess is it's
nature's way of making sure a woman makes use of her fertility.
(turn up the screws - so to speak - until she *has* to do something
about it ;)

Of course, human physiology didn't develop with birth control in mind.
So it doesn't make sense if you look at it in terms of modern society.

Whereas with guys - well there's not really any time limits for the male
of the species...

--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rob Geraghty                         | Time, flowing like a river
robg@durian.citr.oz.au               | Time, beckoning me
CITR                                 | APP
From: bacchus@mcl.ucsb.edu (bacchus@mcl.ucsb.edu)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Do I have ANY right?
Date: 14 Oct 92 07:49:40 GMT

Well, let's keep this quick.  Here's the deal:
I _just_ broke up with my girlfriend because we are 300+ miles apart. She is
very lonely, and wants to see other people. I said "go ahead" because I felt
that it was no right of mine to tell her otherwise, and I told her how I felt,
and why I said what I did.  Now here is the problem: The first person that she
gets together with is my BEST FRIEND!  I feel angry and betrayed by both of
them, but I don't want to lose either friendship, especially the 7-8 year one
with my best friend.  I know that I can be mad and angry, etc. but do I really
have any right to feel that way about my ex?  He should have known how I would
feel, but I told her, and meant it, that she should do what will make her 
happy.  AM I JUSTIFIED?  HELP ME QUICK!  I am supposed to talk to them both,
seperately, in the next few days.
				Thanks in advance!
				bacchus@mcl.ucsb.edu
or post replies here, maybe there are others in the same position, but I hope
not!
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jmunkki@vipunen.hut.fi (Juri Munkki)
Subject: Re: Help!  What should I do? (Very long)
Keywords: Please read
Reply-To: jmunkki@vipunen.hut.fi (Juri Munkki)
Organization: Helsinki University of Technology
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 20:48:27 GMT

In article <BvpIC8.EDn@acsu.buffalo.edu> v119qkv2@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (POE) writes:
>	Now this is where you come in.  What do I do?  Should I forget about 
>Her and go on with my life?  Should I just convince Her to call it off, and
>then wait and see if something develops between us?  Should I let nature take
>it's course, and see if they break up on their own?  Should I throw all my 
>cards out on table, tell Her how I feel about Her and tell Her she would be
>better off with me than Him?  Any other suggestions?

Stay away from them. Don't get mixed in the mess. Love at that age has nothing
to do with common sense, so telling her that he's not right for her will only
make her feelings stronger.

If you reveal your feelings to her, she will consider you a problem or burden.
Show her strength and self-confidence and she may some day decide that she
loves you...

-- 
  Juri Munkki					       Windsurf: fast sailing
 jmunkki@hut.fi					      Macintosh: fast software
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ksdavis@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Karleenus Schwartz Davis)
Subject: Re: First Date ?
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 06:56:58 GMT

In article <1992Oct9.233328.11700@jetsun.weitek.COM> weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
>
>What Do Most People Do on a Date??
>
>        "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and
>         that usually gets them interested enough to go for a
>         second date."
>                                                -Martin, 10

Good idea.  :-)  And true!  Now, for some real-live first dates:

1. Meet outside a pool hall (never having seen each other before), 
play a game or two (losing is a good idea), then go through the 
drive-through of Burger King in his car to get a small soda (turn 
down his radio and ask him incredulously if he's deaf, whilst 
rummaging through his CD collection in his glovebox), discuss how
you WOULD have beat him at pool (had such-and-such a random condition
been different), challenge him to a winner-take-all game of Putt-Putt
golf (the one next door to the pool hall will do fine), lose miserably
(and when you pass the scorecard back and forth, alternate between
nervously avoiding the touch of his hand and secretly wishing your
hands would brush), and then leave in your separate cars.

2. Watch the Little Mermaid on your sister's couch (that you bought
for her) in her apartment in Chicago (where you're staying for the
summer), drink margheritas (but spell them incorrectly just for fun),
eat chips and Pace Picante Sauce (Nyew Yokk Cittay?!?), pet the 
cats (name them Felix and Harlequin, it enhances the effect), fall
asleep on the couch (sleep uncomfortably -- couches are only so
wide ya know), wake up at sunrise and make pancakes (add sugar, don't
listen to your mother when she says it'll make them stick to the 
pan 'cause it's just not true, she just said it to keep you skinny),
and watch him out the window as he walks to his car (to make sure he 
doesn't get murdered by the locals).

3. Get stood up (caveat: this one is not nearly as fun as the others).

-sz
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ktreole@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Kathleen Treole)
Subject: Re: Won't have Sex with a Fat Guy
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 22:17:07 GMT

In article <Bw3vK1.965@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU> stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andre
ws) writes:
>
>Other side, this is not the man she married. Horrible as it sounds, physical
>size/shape/etc DO have something to do with it.

But please consider.....if he had been disabled by a stroke or something else 
that "made him not the man she married", she might not be thinking like this.  
People seem to think because someone is overweight, they can automatically 
control it...not always true.  I believe she needs to approach him from a
health standpoint:  "Honey I love you and for your health's sake, let's try to 
do something together."  However, in terms of cutting him off from sex because 
she can't get turned on...well, like others have said, 'for better or for 
worse' means more to me than that.

Just because she's in shape and can maintain it--doesn't mean her hubby can.
And his weight loss has to occur because HE wants it to, not for HER.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: deviass@ecf.toronto.edu (Deviasse Robert)
Subject: Re: <None>
Organization: University of Toronto, Engineering Computing Facility
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 03:13:03 GMT

> ****** You can't change the past but you can certainly ruin the present by
> worrying over the future.******

> I have now adopted this philosophy....maybe it will help someone else. :)

> [...]

> Kerryn.


Actually my life's philosophy is:

****** You can't change the past, but you can change the future ******

The past is gone, forever immutable, so why worry about it. We should learn
from it to enhance our present and future, and not mourn past shadows.

The future can be changed, and there is so much more of the future than
there is of the present, so why worry since we always have more tomorrows?

And there's nothing wrong with worrying, as long as you know the nature of
the beast. There's an old saying that says "Worrying is like a rocking chair
-- it doesn't get you anywhere, but it gives you something to do."


Take care (And don't worry :)
   Robert

-- 
/----------------------------------+------------------------------------------\
| Robert N. Deviasse               |"If we have to re-invent the wheel,       |
| EMAIL: g2devi@cdf.utoronto.ca    |  can we at least make it round this time"|
+----------------------------------+------------------------------------------/
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oldman@coos.dartmouth.edu (Prakash Das)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Won't have Sex with a Fat Guy
Date: 17 Oct 92 00:29:40 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH

I would advise both of them to go see a therapist. They *both* need
to talk together with an experienced person who is able to advise
and analyze and listen as a third person. I am certain she feels
bad too for saying to him that she is turned off by his obesity. I am
also certain the guy also feels bad at hearing his wife is turned
off by his obesity. I am certain that they both still like each other.
Looks do matter many times. It doesn't mean that there is no more love.
Sometimes our thinking is based on perceptions, and when they change
it is difficult to reconcile to changed perceptions. I think the answer
is for *both* of them to change somewhat their thinking and do 
something positive about it as a result. A therapist may help in this
process.

My $0.02.
-PD
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 17:04:36 EDT
From: <MGR104@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re Men

     I know a lot of us are scum and just out for a good time, but I'd like,
for the sake of those of us who aren't pigs to encourage you to look around
a bit more before you come to this horrible conclusion.  We may not be the
easiest to find and I know you'll run into a few scumbags along the way, but it
may turn out really well in the end.  I gave this advice to one of my friends
last year after she struck out quite a few times with guys and she finally did
find someone she really cared about and who cared about her.  I truly hope you
change your mind about all men, some of us are scum but a lot of us are really
nice once you get to know us.  Good luck.

                          -Socrates
From: lm89@ecs.soton.ac.uk (McIlhoney L)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Women and Buses
Date: 12 Oct 92 13:21:08 GMT

Women are like London Buses - you wait for an eternity, and then
three come along at once!

Just my thought for the day ...

(Note, this is not intended as sexism: women, no doubt, feel the
same about men!)
-- 
Lawrence McIlhoney Esq., Department of Electronics
University of Southampton, United Kingdom.
"Live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse -
preferably someone else's."  E-mail lm89@uk.ac.soton.ecs
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bandy@ccs.northeastern.edu (Bandy Chin)
Subject: Re: When guys lose their tempers
Organization: College of CS, Northeastern U
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 19:24:11 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.073746.18473@nuscc.nus.sg> isc30350@nusunix1.nus.sg (LOW SUET CHENG) writes:
>
>I would like to get some views on this topic from the dear people here
>in net.land.
>
>I have know of guys who when they lose their tempers, hit their
>girlfriends. After that they are remorseful about it, but they tell
>their girlfriends that it's because they (the girlfriend) make them so
>angry that they can't control themselves. Is this really true or is it
>just an excuse?
>

Any guy that hits their girlfriend is an ass.  Usually it's not the girls
fault, and even if it is a guy has no right to hit a girl back.  Maybe that
may seem old fashioned to some people but if you can't control your own
temper then you had better go get help.

For those of you who are in a relationship like the one described above,
then I urge you to talk to someone about it.....get out of the relationship.
It's not worth it.  And if you have it in your mind that you can change the
person....forget it....you can only change yourself....  There are much
better guys out there that are more worthy of your love....

I hate the saying as much as the next person but as they say..."There's
more fish in the sea."


>Then there are those also who when things go wrong, they'll blame them
>on the girlfriends and say that the girlfriends have distracted them
>from doing their best. Is this valid?
>


No this isn't valid...any guy who does this is an asshole.

Bandy
From: P.8188
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Won't have Sex with a Fat Guy
Date: 13 Oct 92 16:16:21 GMT
Organization: Never Mind

A girlfriend of mine has been married for several years (16).  She is
in very good shape and her husband has put on several layers of fat 
on his frame.  

She is totally turned off by his naked appearance to a point where 
she doesn't want to have sex with him anymore.  She has hinted around
a bit in an indirect way but nothing seems to matter what she says 
to him.

Lately, she came out and told him if he didn't lose weight, she wouldn't
have sex with him anymore.  He was very upset (to say the least) and is
showing signs of depression.  Now, she has come to me for advice.  
I think she has handled this all wrong! 

Okay Net people, what should she do about her marital problem? I think
she loves him but not his fat!

Thanks in advance!


 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: dahead00@nx28.mik.uky.edu (Zippidy Do Dah)
Subject: How Long ?new thread? HAS IT BEEN
Organization: University Of Kentucky, Dept. of Math Sciences
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 03:52:41 GMT

Just thought I would try to tie two threads together and maybe get a rope

take Nice People (tm) and add some KISSING and you get the following:

a)  WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT KISSED OFF??

b)  HOW DID YOUR PARTNER BREAK THE NEWS??



(this space for hire)
Zippy D  Who has been kissed ON and OFF on occasion....

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: chyde@pecos.ads.com (Clinton Hyde)
Subject: Re: Anniversery Gift Suggestions?
Organization: Advanced Decision Systems, Mountain View, CA 94043, +1 (415)
	960-7300
	<1992Oct5.144043.29647@walter.cray.com>
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 21:48:05 GMT


;;how about a single pearl on a fine gold chain?  tell her that on every
;;anniversary in the future, you'll add another pearl to the chain, until
;;she's got a solid rope of pearls.  tell her that the pearls will 
;;symbolize the tears of joy, and of pain, that you both share.  that these
;;joys and sorrows only serve to bring the two of you closer together, 
;;strengthening your relationship.  very romantic.  very simple.  and,
;;very inexpensive.
;;
;;take her out to dinner someplace nice that night.  have flowers sent to
;;the restaurant earlier that day, and request that your server deliver them
;;to your table (for her) after the two of you have been seated.  then,
;;once the flowers have arrived, give her the pearl...
;;
;;
;;christine

ooohhh, that's VERY romantic. I like it--gotta try it out this year,
although it's our fifth wedding anniv in three weeks. better late than
never.

 -- clint
--

Clint Hyde		"Give me a LispM or give me death!" -- anonymous

Advanced Decision Systems/BAH	Internet:  chyde@chesapeake.ads.com
1953 Gallows Rd, Suite 600
Vienna, VA  22182-3934		(703) 902-7130
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: chyde@pecos.ads.com (Clinton Hyde)
Subject: Re: Gifts for Men?
Organization: Advanced Decision Systems, Mountain View, CA 94043, +1 (415)
	960-7300
	<sepMt=600iUzE1mX5N@andrew.cmu.edu> <67515@cup.portal.com>
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 17:42:15 GMT


a fascinating list of things here, with humorous emphasis on
video-games and puppets...other things were quite interesting ideas.

 -- clint
--

Clint Hyde		"Give me a LispM or give me death!" -- anonymous

Advanced Decision Systems/BAH	Internet:  chyde@chesapeake.ads.com
1953 Gallows Rd, Suite 600
Vienna, VA  22182-3934		(703) 902-7130
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: pdavidso@nyx.cs.du.edu (phil davidson)
Subject: A Love Poem
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 92 09:25:55 GMT


Guys , send this to your swwet hearts and sweep them off their feet
(hope this cut and paste works :-)  )

A Red, Red Rose

by Robert Burns

Oh, my luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
Oh, my luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly play'd in tune


As fair art thou, my bonny lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.


Till a'the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun:
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the Sands o'life shall run.


And fare thee weel, my only luve!
And fare thee weel a while!
And I will come again my luve,
though it were ten thousand mile.




Give them a Smile..... :-)
Manbeard wishing everyone the best
From: Perrin@max.Acadiau.ca (Louise Perrin)
Subject: Re: What's Romantic?
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: RRCNS
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 18:22:38 GMT

In article <5gzz74n@rpi.edu>, petitc@vccnw02.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon
Petit) wrote:
> 
> 
>   Just a simple little thread.  What do you think is more romantic: 
> 
> (A) Really big romantic getaways,

Some times big plans get to the point where the anticipation is better than
the actual event

> 
> or
> 
> (B) More romantic 'little things'? (e.g. a little card for no reson)

This would be my choice.  Those unexpected gestures would melt my heart for
sure.
> 
> -- 
> Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and terrible
> scarcity.
> MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for MADD)

Quilts are a way to give warm hugs to those you love when you can't be
there.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: g92h7147@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MR GR HUTCHISON)
Subject: Re: Please Help
Summary: none
Keywords: none
Organization: Rhodes University, Grahamstown, South Africa
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 12:37:11 GMT

In article <16120034@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com> kingsley@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com (Kingsley Morse) writes:

>6.) How old are you?
>Under 18           [ ]
>19 to 65           [ ]
>Over 65            [ ]

I'd be interested to know how an 18-year-old should answer this question...

GREG
======================================================================
Gregory Hutchison           ||  "You are never given a wish without
Rhodes University           ||   also being given the power to make
Grahamstown                 ||   it true.
South Africa                ||     You may have to work for it,
<g92h7147@giraffe.ru.ac.za> ||     however." - Richard Bach
======================================================================
Organization: Freshman, CIT general, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.sex
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 20:56:23 -0400 
From: "Paul S. Hrynko" <ph2a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Sex and Astrology

     Astrology is supposedly based on nothing more than old
superstition.  But pick up a copy of Love Signs by Linda Goodman, and
very often if you look deep enough you'll find out the problems and
evolution of a relationship.  What some REAL astrology (Not the
horroscopes in some newspapers) will predict is too correct for there to
be nothing to it.  Also, it doesn't just make you relate your life to
the predictions by being too vague.  Only your sign applies to you, or
else a rising sign, etc.  Following astrology can help you alleviate
your weaknesses in love, romance, and sex by means of a power which we
haven't discovered yet.
    A true Pisces,




   ---------                     __
             \                  |  |  Paul Hrynko  (Ph2a@andrew.cmu.edu)
        /    /                  | /   Box 4838
   ---------    __              |/    5115 Margaret Morrison
     /        /   \   /|   |    /\    Pittsburgh, Pa  15213-3831
   /          \___/ \/  \__/\__/   \  Carnegie Mellon University 412-268-4303

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
B efore your eyes observe the union of the sky with the water,
E bbing and augmenting tides which know no bounds.
A ll observe the eternal crashing of moody waves on the sand,
C alling you to become part of a worldly being greater than yourself, 
H aving the ability to attain true love, peace, and contentment.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance