From: clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu)
Subject: Re: Asian males aren't attractive? (was Re
Organization: Nynex Science and Technology
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 93 18:06:03 GMT

In article <1992Dec31.075540.8112@panix.com> nina@panix.com (Nina Yuan) writes:
>In <1992Dec30.221528.4044@leland.Stanford.EDU> underdog@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dwight Joe) writes:
>
>>In article <1992Dec30.154435.2597@nynexst.com> clare@nynexst.com
>>(Clare Chu Ayala)
>>writes:
>>>  Speaking as someone who has been there... Yes.  I wanted very much to
>>>  date a bunch of AA guys, but they never even looked my way.  I think it's
>>>  because they think I look "jappy" with my single-eyelids.
>
>>What is wrong with having single-eyelids?  Ms. Ayala should have sent me
>>e-mail back then; I would have told her how to deal with Chinese-cu bozos
>>and their prejudice.

  Well Dwight, I didn't have e-mail back then.  Maybe you can send
  e-mail to that doctor who wanted me to get the surgery when I went
  to him for contact lens trouble.  He claimed that all my problems
  with my contacts were due to my single-lids (he gave some scientific
  name on the disorder).  Then he said that as an added bonus of
  the surgery, more guys would ask me out.  When I said I didn't
  have any trouble with guys, he said, "Oh but I mean Chinese
  guys."  Which was true, since not many AA guys asked me out, but
  rather white and Hispanic guys.  Also my friend who is still
  single (J-A) and wants to date AA guys has single-lids also.  She's the
  one who is mobbed by white guys.  And a lot of my K-A female friends
  had the surgery done.  

>
>You're right, Dwight, those guys were bozos for writing off Clare solely
>based on how her eyes looked.  I must have missed something though, I
>could have sworn she said "AA guys" not "Chinese-cu bozo guys."  Amazingly,
>people of all cultures, Asian or not, Chinese or not, are capable of
>prejudice.
>

  Well as I explained in e-mail, it was the non-Japanese AA guys
  who didn't like people with single eyelids.  The only group of
  AA guys that did want to go out with me were J-A (from high
  school to when I got married).  But there were only a few and
  they went to different schools, or I was not available (lest
  you think I was mobbed).  Of course it was funny sometimes because
  I'd would be asked by Japanese tourists to help them translate
  something.

	Just yesterday I asked my husband whether he thought my single
	eyelids were ugly, and he said, "What do you mean?  Why do
	you think I was attracted to you?"  He wishes his kids had
	single eyelids, but since my dad already had double eyelids,
	my son has double eyelids also.

	I've just been brought up where a lot of my parent's friends
	got the surgery, or made comments when I was growing up about
	"too bad" she got single eyelids.  Or that "double eyelids"
	were wasted on a boy, since it supposedly doesn't matter what
	he looks like, and if a commodity is in short supply it should
	go to the girls.  My mom got a lot of pressure to get the
	surgery from her friends, but my mom always thought of herself
	as ugly so she figured why bother?   Then I was surprised when
	my Black and Hispanic friends told me that my mom was very
	pretty.  When I told my mom she said they were just being nice.
	But then they thought that my dad did well to get my mom, so
	I don't think they were just being polite.  I always thought
	that just because my dad had double eyelids, that he looked
	better.  But objective statements from my friends dispelled
	that myth.  Friends that were not AA (I might add), since AA
	friends are hung up about the eyelids also.  My brother said
	that they also didn't like girls with "moon-faces", in addition
	to single lids.  So it seems that there is a lot of self-hatred
	in that direction also.  But I don't see anyone discussing this.
	It's always supposed that we AAFs have self-hatred because we
	dated someone outside of AA.  But what isn't said is that a lot
	of the AA guys don't like our features!  Whereas there are nonAA guys
    that like our features.
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american