From: milliken@athena.cs.uga.edu (Brewmeister)
Newsgroups: alt.flame,talk.bizarre,misc.test
Subject: Re: alt.flame stereotypes
Date: 26 Jul 92 01:25:46 GMT
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens

In article <1992Jul24.213335.17744@rice.edu> andsol@is.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg) writes:
>There are a great many types of people posting to this newsgroup.  Can you
>find yourself amongst these general descriptions?
>
>CANONICAL LISTING OF ALT.FLAME STEREOTYPES
>
>*The Newbie*
>
> Description: A clueless newcomer.  Frequently has no idea what this group
>              is all about.  
> Comments:    The bread-and-butter of alt.flame.  Just about anybody can
>              successfully flame a newbie.  They tend to squeak and whine
>              in response to vicious attacks.  Sometimes they cry.
> Sample Post: "Hi!  I'm new to this group.  Would somebody please tell me
>               the ground rules so I can join in the fun?"
> Pro's:       Easy targets.  Fun follow-ups.
> Con's:       Sometimes they stick around.
>
>*The Young 'Un*
>
> Description: Infantile.  Learned the limits of his/her flaming ability
>              in Junior High School.  Has sometimes been pithed.
> Comments:    Insists in engaging in 'dick-size' wars.  Tends to worship
>              their elders-and-betters and will follow-up to just about
>              anything.  Their sigs usually contain Bart Simpson.
> Sample Post: Elmer Q. Foobar (Dick-cheese!) writes:
>               > "You don't know what you're talking about, spoo-breath!"
>               "I know you are, but what am I???"
> Pro's:       Can easily be betrayed by viciously posting their hero-
>              worshipping mail.  Usually fall for the 'misc.test' trick.
> Con's:       Will never, ever, leave.  Not even if they've been obliterated.
>
>*The Doberman*
>
> Description: Vicious.  Will flame anybody for any reason.
> Comments:    Loves to post personal and embarrassing info from any source,
>              no matter how nasty.  Would slash their best buddy's throat
>              if they thought somebody would find it amusing.  Tend to lose
>              friends easily.
> Sample Post: "Lefty, I don't take kindly to your remarks regarding my sexual
>               prowess.  Now, instead of directly rebutting your comments, I
>               will simply repost the following contributions you made this
>               last week to alt.sex.rodents ......."
> Pro's:       Rarely boring.
> Con's:       Utterly and completely untrustworthy.
>
>*The Loser*
>
> Description: Inept.  Thinks he's The Doberman.
> Comments:    Posts incessantly and inanely.  Almost never has anything useful
>              to say.  Considers him/herself terribly clever, though, and will
>              only rarely concede defeat.
> Sample Post: "How incredibly stupid you are.  Well, over in rec.mensa.genius,
>               we have a saying: The penis mightier than the sword!  Ha! Get
>               it?  Penis?  Pen Is?  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....."
> Pro's:       Pathetically laughable.  Laughably pathetic.  Fun targets.
> Con's:       Are responsible for about 75% of this group's bandwidth.
>
>*The Punching Bag*
> 
> Description: Masochistic.  Wants the Doberman to attack him.
> Comments:    Tries to present self as the best target possible to lure
>              in a vicious attack.  In this capacity, serves a vital role
>              on this group for stimulating vital new material.
> Sample Post: "This is a test.  Please ignore."  <Posted five times>
> Pro's:       Makes for good material.  Always friendly and cheerful.
> Con's:       More often than not is actually a Newbie.
>
>*The Elder Gods*
>
> Description: Ancient, malevolent presences.
> Comments:    The Elder Gods started this group.  Now They are disappointed
>              with its contents.  They hulk silently in their catacombs while
>              clueless newcomers fill Their creation with crap and cascades.
>              Beware, for one day They shall return.
> Sample Post: The Elder Gods do not post.  Occasionally They rear their heads
>              and swat an impudent upstart, however.  This event is usually
>              accompanied by earthquakes and typhoons.
> Pro's:       When They manifest, it is worthwhile being there to watch.  From
>              a safe distance, of course.
> Con's:       Nobody is safe.
>
>*The Parrot*
>
> Description: Larval stage of the Newbie.  Repeats everything.
> Comments:    Underevolved.  Useless.  DESTROY AT ONCE.
> Sample Post: OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE
>              OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE
>              OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE
>              OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE OGGLE

  Also:        WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH
	       WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH
	       WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH

  As well as:  "You seem to be quite misinformed.  Perhaps the DOI can help..."

>              ...........................................................
> Pro's:       None.
> Con's:       Ignorant of the true nature of flaming.  Knows too little to
>              be dangerous, but just enough to be annoying.  Refuses to
>              stop doing things that are irritating instead of aggravating.
>              Will never stop.  DESTROY AT ONCE.
>
>*The Mad Scientist*
>
> Description: Cross-over from talk.bizarre.  Truly strange.
> Comments:    Tries for maximum creativity instead of maximum aggravation.
>              Posts some really nutty stuff.
> Sample Post: "Bill Q. Foobar swims happily in the sea of his birth.  A giant
>               of the ocean, he knows no fear, not even as the shadow of the
>               boat closes in.  Then -- PAIN! as the harpoon penetrates his
>               thick, blubbery hide!  He writhes and tugs, but the cables 
>               inexorably pull him in!  As a crimson flood spills from his
>               blowhole, Bill sees the tiny men descend upon him with their
>               sharp, sharp knives......."
> Pro's:       Usually interesting.
> Con's:       Endangered Species.
>
>*The Sailor*
>
> Description: Swearing is everything.  Let the foullest mouth win.
> Comments:    Typically unimaginative, but has a fine repertoire of good
>              one-liners.  DO NOT attack The Sailor if you are sensitive
>              about your mother.
> Sample Post: "If you would kindly remove your pus-encrusted gob from your
>               bleeding, bifurcated rectum, you might well fucking notice
>               that the unbearable stench of your suppurating testicles
>               has repelled any companions that your limp-wristed, ass-
>               kissing attitude might have attracted.  You are a noxious
>               brown streak in the shorts of humanity."
> Pro's:       You could learn something.
> Con's:       In a duel, it is difficult to determine a clear winner.
>
>*The Psychopath*
>
> Description: Violent.  Dangerous.  DO NOT GIVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
> Comments:    Masquerades as one of the other categories.  However, he/she
>              will always take anything personally, and will take steps to
>              ensure you regret it. "He was always so quiet...."
> Sample Post: "Dear Mr. Foobar: I found some of your remarks in your flame
>               compelling.  I would like to meet with your to discuss some
>               of their merits....."
> Pro's:       Sometimes throws entertaining temper tantrums.
> Con's:       May call your System Administrator.
>
>
>All I can think of for now.  Others?

Yes.
*The Multiple Personality*
		
 Description:  Total asshole.  Can't stand anyone who does not know everything 
	       about computers. 
 Comments:     May use the same insult in following up several different posts.
	       Will change names often, but initials remain the same:
	       rdc@netcom.com
 Sample Post:  "Have a clue.  Take two, they're small" or "LOSER"
 Pro's:        Haven't noticed any.
 Con's:        Pain in the ass.

*The Anonymous Mouth*

 Description:  Outspoken fundamentalist.  Probably drives bigwheel pickup truck                with Daddy's ol' rifles in the back window.
 Comments:     Thinks he has brilliant opinions, but is too ashamed to stand
	       behind them, hence posts anonymously.  Doesn't want ANYBODY to
	       have sex.  Period.
 Sample Post:  "Get all the fags to stop XXXXXXX in the XXX and get all the
	       needle users to stop shooting up and get all the heterosexuals
	       to practice abstainence (sic)".
 Pro's:        People like this keep the intellectual community from becoming
	       too complacent.
 Con's:        Believes his own bullshit

 
>Andrew Solberg          |"If I were your wife I'd poison your tea!" 
>Undying University Mooch|              Anon. Outraged British Woman
>andsol@owlnet.rice.edu  |"And if I were your husband I'd drink it!"
>Phone:713-529-8627      |              Winston Churchill
>
>			


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