HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: coolidge@speaker.wpd.sgi.com (Don Coolidge)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: worthless comic strips
Date: 11 Sep 92 00:42:52 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

In article <t6tn+!q.mvp@netcom.com>, mvp@netcom.com (Mike Van Pelt) writes:
|> 
|> What do you mean "if"?  Doonsbury regularly features that sort of
|> humor.  The "invisible George" stuff, the "invisible except for
|> levitating white feather Danny" stuff, the "In Search of Reagan's
|> Brain" series.  Trudeau can by hysterically funny, and often is, but
|> just as often, he spews hatred onto the comic page and calls it
|> 'humor'.  He seems incapable of being funny about the people he hates.

To be totally fair, Mike, you should have said that *you* find him
incapable of being funny about the people he hates. Personally, I thought
the "Reagan's Brain" series was a jewel from beginning to end, and I
chuckle smugly each time I see either an empty panel or a feather 
talking, knowing just how much those characterizations irk their namesakes.

Political satire. Ya gotta love it. Except when it hits close to home.
Which tells you it's effective :^)


Don Coolidge

(But I *do* find Uncle Duke boooring...)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson)
Subject: Re: Calvin for President (was Re: I'm dragging out the old T-shirt)
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 17:21:01 GMT

In <1992Sep8.164226.14060@leland.Stanford.EDU> wolf@leland.Stanford.EDU (Andy Wolfsberg) writes:

>In article <mjenkins.715963297@cunews> mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson) writes:
>>In <1992Sep8.022452.18993@dartvax.dartmouth.edu> Frederick.A.Ringwald@dartmouth.edu (Frederick A. Ringwald) writes:
>>
>>>In article <1992Sep7.022409.22481@athena.mit.edu>
>>>yuna@athena.mit.edu (Yuna Huh) writes:
>>
>>>> Nah.  Kirk/Spock '92!
>>
>>>Unconstitutional for Spock: he wasn't born in the U.S.A.
>>
>>Same for Kirk...William Shatner is Canadian.
>For that matter, Nimmoy is probably an AMERICAN.

>KIRK is AMERICAN!!! :^) and thats who would be on the ballet.

Shatner/Kirk is going to be on the ballet? Really? Which one? Swan
Lake? Perchance you meant the BALLOT?

>I mean Shatner???, Isn't he a cop or something.  No-one wants a cop
>for pres., but hey, a starship commander. now I like that.

No...heaven forbid the States ever elect someone with any sense of
law-and-order, like a cop...better stick with electing people like
Reagan, who was an actor...or Bush, who was....OK, trick question there. 

>Appologies to Canadians and Mexicans. In re-reading this, I should
>have written USAn rather than American.  I guess, for that matter, this
>appology extends to all Central, SOuth, and North AMericans who don't
>live in the USA.

I don't know what's worse...that we're getting all upset over two
FICTIONAL characters (which shouldn't be a surprise in this echo) or
that I'm perpetuating this by replying....

But I thank you for the apology. Quite honestly, though, Canadians
don't think of themselves as North Americans...cuz the word American
is in it! <g>

Michael
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: dks@MIT.EDU (dks)
Subject: Our limited knowledge of Dannikins...
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 92 13:34:20 EST
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In article <1992Sep11.145259.11010@anasazi.com>,
best@anasazi.com (Mike "Knows" Best) explains that
we are -- get this -- underestimating Dannikins:
> Putting aside the fact that your knowledge of Quayle is limited to
> stand-up comics and television news bites,

Whereas your knowledge of him is ... biblical?

Believe me, we are acquainted with Dannikins and he does not improve upon
acquaintance.  The boy may impress you with his elegant profile, or his
distinguished rhetoric, or his moral authority.  So be it.  Intellectually,
he is a zero, a cipher, a mere nothingness.  In the immortal words of
Bette Davis:

           That man is so stupid it sits on him like a halo.

I challenge you to give me one good reason to believe that he would be a
better President than, say, you would.


> I would agree to some extent
> that Quayle has made some incongruous/conflicting statements.

Why, how perceptive of you.


> Take, for example, Gore's book EITB.
> [alleged paraphrase deleted]

Either you haven't tried to read it yourself, or your comprehension skills
are inadequate to the task, or you are a dissembling cynic.


> I STILL can't get over the fact that you appear to be a Democrat/Statist
> [...] and yet you are the namesake of the Brittan, John Locke, who is [...]
> 
> I'll try to get over it.

Please, Mike, don't do us any favors.


Dhanesh

"Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together!" -- Matt Groening


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush
From: erics@sco.COM (eric smith)
Subject: Re: "Liberal" - A Misnomer
Organization: The Santa Cruz Operation, Inc.
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 19:05:06 GMT


barnejd@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:

>Let's face it - the term "liberal" is a misnoner.

Let's face it, all political labels are misnomers. They're only invented
as buzzwords to influence voters on the hope that either voters will be
attracted to certain candidates or that they will be led away from them
through the wide brushstroke of a certain political label.

The use of labels like "liberal", "conservative", "pro-(fill-in-the-blank)",
"anti-(fill-in-the-blank)", "(fill-in-the-blank) extremist", etc., etc.,
only serves to deflect attention from what the candidates really stand for,
what they are really saying, and what the real issues are.

Both Democrats and Republicans are guilty of this practice, both historically
and in this present election year. However, one can usually tell which side
is more politically (and morally) bankrupt by the corresponding volume of
smoke thrown up in the form of label-throwing. This year there's an absolute
domination of this field by the Republicans, as anyone who sat through at
least one minute of the Republican Convention can attest to. Four years ago
they used this technique to great advantage, and an election victory, and
this year, with nothing else to say, they've abandoned any attempt at
discussion of real issues, to be replaced exclusively by political
name-calling and label-throwing.

-----
Eric Smith     erics@sco.com     erics@infoserv.com     CI$: 70262,3610

"I see no media mention of it, but we entered in -- you asked what time
 it is and I'm telling you how to build a watch here -- but we had Boris
 Yeltsin here the other day.  And I think my times campaigning in Iowa,
 years ago, and how there was a -- Iowa has a kind of, I single out Iowa,
 it's a kind of an international state in a sense and has a great
 interest in all these things -- and we had Yeltsin standing here in the
 Rose Garden and we entered into a deal to eliminate the biggest and most
 ballistic missiles and it was almost, 'Ho-hum, what have you done for me
 lately?' "

 -George Bush, on why he should be re-elected
From: elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Acres of Discount Family Values
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 92 09:21:59 CDT
Organization: Minas Tirith BBS (Public Access Usenet for New Orleans)

glass@devl.fnal.gov (Michael Glass) writes:

>
>         -- 88 pc plastic DAN AND MARILYN DOLL SET, now only $22.88! (*)
>              Includes plastic replica of Air Force 2, his 'n her offices
>              with two copies of all important documents, Indiana National
>              Guard uniform, aggressive young speechwriters, assorted
>              Secret Service agents, and more!  (Clothes for 11.5" dolls
>              will fit.)
>
>              (*) DAN doll slightly irregular.
>

The thought of a 'slightly irregular' Dannster conjures up some wild images?
Does this mean he has a future doing Metamucil commercials?

Thanks for a hysterical article.



|Edward J. Branley                         elendil@mintir.New-Orleans.LA.US|
|Seashell Software                                UUCP:  rex!mintir!elendil|
|3508 North Woodlawn Avenue                          Compu$erve: 71237,2227|
|Metairie, LA   70006       voice: +1-504-455-5087     bbs: +1-504-455-8665|
From: "tom betz" <tom.betz@execnet.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: cavett
Date: 10 Sep 92 02:46:28 EST
Reply-To: "tom betz" <tom.betz@execnet.com>
Distribution: alt
Organization: Executive Networks Information

Quoth Joe Francis regarding AN ANAGRAM!!! WE HAVE ONE on 09-09-92:

JF>Does anyone know what Cavett is up to these days? 

He does a (weekly?) chat show on CNBC.

Still as erudite and entertaining as ever.


---
  WinQwk 2.0 a#299  No tagline, no radio, no spare change. I'm a New Yorker.
--
Executive Network Information System  (914) 667-4567
International ILink Host
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3478 alt.politics.bush:4484
From: JFL4@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush
Subject: Re: "Liberal" - A Misnomer
Date: 9 Sep 92 16:55:37 GMT
 <1992Aug31.190506.11570@sco.COM> <JASON.92Sep8151229@ab20.larc.nasa.gov>
 <pjs7us@twilight.wpd.sgi.com> <JASON.92Sep9113133@ab20.larc.nasa.gov>
Organization: Penn State University

In article <JASON.92Sep9113133@ab20.larc.nasa.gov>, jason@ab20.larc.nasa.gov
(Jason Austin) says:
>
>        Look at the facts.  Bush and Reagan has vetoed bill after bill
>in an attempt to stop the growth of the government.
>--
>Jason C. Austin
>j.c.austin@larc.nasa.gov

"...in eight years by direction of the most conservative administration
in modern times, the federal government's spending will have exceeded
its income by the staggering sum of $1.5 trillion.  The next President
will inherit a publicly held federal debt nearly triple that accumulated
by all of Ronald Reagan's thirty-nine predecessors.
   "Historians will undoubtedly find these elephantine figures baffling.
By then, the secret of the Reagan era's fabulous free lunch will be beyond
dispute.  The records will show that within the span of a few short years
the United States flung itself into massive hock with the rest of the
world."  [Note:  the US debt is now a beyond staggering - incomprehensible -
$4 trillion]
   "In the final analysis, only one conclusion is possible.  The American
economy and government have literally been taken hostage by the awesome
stubbornness of the nation's fortieth President."
                        David Stockman, 1st Budget Director under Reagan,
                        who (with Jack Kemp) developed the administration
                        budget direction (quote from 1987).

Jeff Luck                                *Standard Disclaimer*
CES Systems Office
Penn State University           "Whatever you guys want, I'm for."
JFL4@PSUVM.PSU.EDU                     -Quayle to Ohio Farmers, 1988
From: elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: The Comic Election: BC, Doonesbury &... Cerebus (was Re: worthle
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 92 15:00:08 CDT
Organization: Minas Tirith BBS (Public Access Usenet for New Orleans)

cortez@milton.u.washington.edu (Tom Warner) writes:

> elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley) writes:
>
> >yamauchi@ces.cwru.edu (Brian Yamauchi) writes:
>
> >> You're right.  Trudeau sometimes manages to be political and funny at
> >> the same time; Hart almost never does.  Still, some of Trudeau's gags
> >> fall into the blunt, flailing club category as well (the invisible
> >> president, etc).
>
> >The invisible Bush isn't in itself in the flailing club category.  Having th
> >invisible Bush draped in the flag, or putting his manhood in a blind trust,
> >however <g>.
>
> Hey, I liked the invisible-Bush wrapping himself in a flag. Got a problem wit
> that?
>
> Geeesh. What is with all this telling people what is and isn't funny?
>

I didn't say it wasn't funny.  It was blunt, borderline nasty, but it was
hysterical.



>Edward J. Branley         elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us<
>Seashell Software, Metairie, LA            +1-504-455-5087<
From: llama@pooh.cc.utexas.edu (sine nomine)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: an incredibly lame attempt at self-defense
Date: 15 Sep 92 01:39:30 GMT
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

sigh. read in the paper this morning that dan quayle was attacking the
_new york times_ for spelling his name "quale" in a list of tv
appearances by candidates. his argument was along the lines of "how
can they get on my case for 'potatoe' if they can't even spell my name
right?"

someone needs to explain to our boy what a typographical error is, and
how a typesetter leaving a letter out differs from someone publicly
"correcting" a correctly spelled word. 

seizing on a typo and trying to use it like this is among the lamer
things he could have done. 

--
sine nomine
debbie martinson
"my place is of the sun and this place is of the dark. i do not feel
the romance; i do not catch the spark...and i will not be a pawn for
the prince of darkness any longer" -- indigo girls

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: gsinghma@reed.edu (Gaurav Singhmar)
Subject: Quayle Quotes Wanted
Organization: Reed College, Portland, OR
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 07:15:19 GMT

Does anybody have recent copies of the Quayle Quotes file. Mine dates back  
to May 1991, and I would much appreciate anything more recent.

Much obliged.

- gaurav singhmar
gsinghma@reed.edu

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: howard@netcom.com (Howard Berkey)
Subject: Re: Quayle Quotes Wanted
Date: Tue, 08 Sep 92 07:53:44 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 


>Does anybody have recent copies of the Quayle Quotes file. Mine dates back  
>to May 1991, and I would much appreciate anything more recent.
>
>Much obliged.
>

This is as close to a FAQ as a.f.d-q will get... is someone out there willing
to, say, keep the list of dannikin's immortal soothsayings and repost it about
twice a month?  I promise to add as many as I can if someone will.  I heard
this one today (no attribution, so it's probably a joke...)

"Now that the last monument of communism in Germany, the Berlin Wall, has been 
torn down, maybe the Chinese will destroy their Great Wall."

Note: even Our Boy probably isn't stupid enough to say this.  Has anyone else 
heard this one or can verify he said this?

-Howard
-- 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Howard Berkey						howard@netcom.com
"Jesus Christ, How many people does it TAKE to kill the President?"
		-John Dillinger, in _Illuminatus!_
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.non-sequitur
From: dks@MIT.EDU (dks)
Subject: Never EVER thinky-poo for de headhurtz
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 92 14:21:23 EST
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X-Command: Send_AEvt(doAutoForward)



In article <1937@celia.UUCP> celia!steve@usc.edu spells it out for us:
> In article <6240@huxley.cs.nps.navy.mil> jxxl@cs.nps.navy.mil writes:
> ->celia!steve@usc.edu whimpers:
> -># Thank you. I have been wondering how long it would take for someone
> -># to notice this. And I will continue to do it. I learned how to tweak 
> -># elitist from RUSH and Danny Boy.
> ->
> ->Well, doesn't that take the cake? We're supposed to dumb-down now to avoid
> ->being considered elitist by Rush's numbskull army. Thank you for confirming
> ->that Rush's appeal is to the lowest common denominator.
>
> It looks like some people need everything spelled out for them.
> I knew those where mistakes. Democrates is obvious. Only an Elitist
> would bother to point them out. You have just identified yourself as 
> one. Thats why I typed it the way it was. Remember Rush -
> "Sometimes you have to show absurdity by being absurd"
> Yes I will continue to NOT correct my typos and might even use that
> extra e every now and than.

Iggly-pip, manakahawahaehauea booty wiggizooms.  Foo thuradanay, wagga-wagga
root-rooty zimba-kem: toro'el, mi saggin' bursitis, NOT!  And all zippy de'ol
banana boat jes floatin' along, never EVER thinky-poo for de headhurtz.  But,
zinkum tinkle, Onan the Barbarian iff polly-wolly-doodle all the day.  In
corroborree wolly'woo, euno, manna Dannikins weenie toots!

Moreover, ee isn't cumming and neither is ertnog an ebb-white: gotta watch
that cholesterol, son.


> By the way, do you "elightened" quayle bashers realiase that Dan usually
> reads from a speech. Is it not possible that he said it the way the speech
> writers intended him to say it. Why on earth would they ever do that ?
> "Born Free as Free as the Grass Grows....."
> Do I need to spell this one out or have you got it yet ?

Go ahead, spell it out -- just to show us you can, that is.


> Steve Tyree - These opinions are mine and mine alone.

No, I didn't think you could count to 13 million, either.


> ps - Heres some help. Remember the Washington Post.

That's the Alamo, fool.


Dhanesh

  Help stamp out stupidity: take a flying leap.
From: dylan@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu (Dylan)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Dan Advertises for Murphy Brown Reruns!
Date: 9 Sep 92 19:02:37 GMT
Organization: OGRE Institute

I heard late last night on the Radio that
the Danster agreed to do a promo spot for
Murphy Brown reruns on a local Los Angeles
station.

The script was something along the lines of:
"Murphy Brown?  NOT!"

I guess they didn't want him to do anything
too difficult.  Can anyone else confirm or
deny this story?  I can't find it in today's
newspapers.

Dylan

John D. Murray  dylan@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu
Phila, PA
Bhakail, East
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush
From: ddaye@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (David C Daye)
Subject: Re: "Liberal" - A Misnomer
Organization: The Ohio State University
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 17:01:36 GMT

In article <1992Sep9.162829.8478@u.washington.edu> sieferme@milton.u.washington.edu (Eric Sieferman) writes:
>In article <JASON.92Sep8151229@ab20.larc.nasa.gov> Jason C. Austin <j.c.austin@larc.nasa.gov> writes:
>>	Words mean things, 
>
>(sigh!)  Yes, words mean things, 
>
>If this style     [...]   is common among
>people in the USA, it is easy to see why Dan-o is so popular.
>
>

Well how else could Americans approach things?  Republicans (paraphrasing
from Roger Ailes, I believe) learned some years ago that there are no longer
any national information media which reach a majority of the public, only
commercial entertainment media.  So they shifted their strategy away from
issues and programs, which require hours of explanation and megabytes of
information far beyond the effective national bandwidth, and towards images
and slogans which are readily conveyed in the few thousand daily bytes
received.

Democrats still believe they've been losing Presidential races because of
their "policies," which they studiously revised and which they are inex-
plicably struggling to stuff like a mattress through the national keyhole.

There isn't the vehicle in this country to convey *any* political message,
much less philosophy or platform.  The Democrats are clueless about this,
they're still trying to download us the Encyclopedia Brittanica at 30 baud,
they'll still be hard at it on election day, and we'll still be ALT.FAN.
DAN-QUAYLE in 1996.

B/Q 65%, C/G 35%.

Some day, liberals, some day....
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 18:08:14 EDT
From: <JFL4@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Clinton Screws Up! Press Reports It!
 <1992Sep14.121218.19645@anomaly.sbs.risc.net> <5041@sumax.seattleu.edu>

In article <5041@sumax.seattleu.edu>, sstover@sumax.seattleu.edu (Maven o'Mirth)
says:
>
>In article <1992Sep14.121218.19645@anomaly.sbs.risc.net>
>kd1hz@anomaly.sbs.risc.net (Michael P. Deignan) writes:
>>Steve.Withers@bbs.actrix.gen.nz writes:
>>
>>
>>I don't actually know why I'm responding to a posting from New Zealand...
>>As if people there actually KNOW anything about American politics, or,
>>for that matter, should be sticking their noses into our countries
>>political scene...
>>
>>As if you would really have the credentials to judge who should and shouldn't
>>be in US political office. Leave that to people who know.
>>
>
>You arrogant, closed-minded, pencil-necked asshole.  I can't believe I
>just read that.  But then, you were also defending Quayle in the rest of
>that post, weren't you?  What a surprise.  To the "offending" New
>Zealander: this is the sort of bullshit which, shamefully, goes on in this
>country that makes it possible for someone like Dan Quayle to end up in
>office.  Do you happen to have a guest room?
>
>--
>Sheryl Stover

Don't do it Sheryl!  I need you here to help with the fight.  I'm not
giving-up this great country to arrogant, closed-minded, pencil-necked
assholes.  Never!

Vote in November like your country depends on it.

Jeff Luck                              *Standard Disclaimer*
CES Systems Office
Penn State University             "Whatever you guys want, I'm for."
JFL4@PSUVM.PSU.EDU                  -Dan Quayle to Ohio Farmers, 1988
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3475 alt.politics.bush:4480 alt.politics.clinton:4545
From: sg@monsoon.com (Sunil Gupta)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
Subject: Re: "I can even forgive Bush for Dan Quayle, but not for this."
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 92 11:21:53 EDT
Organization: Monsoon Software, Inc.

green@plains.NoDak.edu (Brad Green) writes:

> In article <1992Sep4.233306.14026@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu> tip@lead.aichem.
> >No it isn't...   it's "Air Force/Navy/Marine/Army Twoe".
> 
> Today CNN reported Clinton was speaking about Patriot missiles flying down
> chimmneys and through doors.  It was pointed out afterwards that this was
> the cruise missile and not the Patriot.  Are we going to hear for the next
> 57 days how a man who wants to be commander in chief can't even remember whic
> of his weapons does what?  Probably not.
> 

Hey, at least he doesn't think we can call them back once they're
launched, the way ol' Ronnie Raygun did.


Sunil Gupta
Monsoon Software, Inc.
sg@monsoon.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: pinet@telebit.com (Pinet Group)
Subject: Re: what to do with this group after november
Organization: Telebit Corporation; Sunnyvale, CA, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 17:55:32 GMT

In article <16860@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu> darsie@eecs.ucdavis.edu (Richard Darsie) writes:
>Simple. keep the initials, a.f.d.q, but change the focus. Talk about
>the joys of cheap ice cream instead. You guessed it, now we'll be
>
>      alt.fan.dairy-queen
>
>Richard

Or make as a.f.d.q.h where h stands for history.

"alt.fan.dan-quayle.history"

swamy