HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Pythons lost a bet!!
Date: 11 Sep 92 14:03:53 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center

00124961@ysub.ysu.edu writes:
}meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma) writes:
}>Meetch aka Not Muriel, Eric nor Jester's Aunt.
}Chris I had a pet ant once named Muriel.......
Jester aka fool aka don't bring my auntie into this....
-- 
Join the Omnipotent Overlords of the Omniverse today. Add to intelligent    	
political, environmental, and social discussions. Buck the growing trend of 
apathy in the world today, and most importantly have some well earned fun.  
Read all about us on alt.overlords or e-mail : jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu    
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jtaylor@seq.uncwil.edu (J.T.)
Subject: Re: need dead parrot sketch
Organization: Univ. of North Carolina @ Wilmington
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 16:25:26 GMT

R.J.Collingham@newcastle.ac.uk (R.J.Collingham) writes:

>Please can somebody send me a copy of the Monty Python "Dead
>Parrot" sketch, you know the one -

>    "...this is an ex-parrot, it has ceased to live..."

No its not....its sleeping!

>okay, okay I am sure this a FAQ but I couldn't find a FAQ-list nor
>could I find this sketch using archie, so no flames!

if there are any flames...call me...I drink oodles of stuff..
I'll dowse them.

>Thanks in advance....
welcome, happy to be of service.

>Russell

JT aka anyone have a spare hose?...mine appears to have a hole in it.

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Subject: Re: beelzebubba
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 92 20:29:08 GMT

In <1992Sep9.171823.3158@newscan.canada.sun.com> ptaylor@airfarce.Canada.Sun.COM whistles through the trees:

>gbloom@zeus.calpoly.edu (Dark Elf (Gregg Bloom)) writes:
>> Yet again, ptaylor@airfarce.Canada.Sun.COM moans:
>> >
>> >Who are all you naughty people, and why are you carrying those sharp
>> >objects?
>> What???  These sharpened nose-hairs?

>Why yes, although I was referring to what you had in your (eeeww!) hands.

Oh, are you looking for a *leg*?
I think there was one back there somewhere...

>> >PKT aka I wouldn't be so paranoid if everyone wasn't out to get me.
>> Dark Elf aka Okay... where are you hiding THIS time?!?!?!?
>> 
>trying hard not to be seen, I remain, 
>PKT aka Keep Your Head Down!!!
mesAj aka There he is!!! (KA-BLOOM!)
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3488 alt.politics.bush:4509
From: Frederick.A.Ringwald@dartmouth.edu (Frederick A. Ringwald)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Quayle Season
Date: 14 Sep 92 10:51:41 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH
X-Posted-From: InterNews1.0a5@newshost.dartmouth.edu

In article <wall-100992172412@elvis.swarthmore.edu>
wall@cc.swarthmore.edu (Matthew Wall) writes:

> For the nth time, we
> are not here to discuss Danny, we are here to ridicule him

What's the difference? How is it possible to discuss any aspect of J.
Danforth Quayle (save perhaps for his shoe size) without invoking some
element of ridicule?
From: elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: The Comic Election: BC, Doonesbury &... Cerebus (was Re: worthle
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 92 18:32:34 CDT
Organization: Minas Tirith BBS (Public Access Usenet for New Orleans)

yamauchi@ces.cwru.edu (Brian Yamauchi) writes:

> You're right.  Trudeau sometimes manages to be political and funny at
> the same time; Hart almost never does.  Still, some of Trudeau's gags
> fall into the blunt, flailing club category as well (the invisible
> president, etc).

The invisible Bush isn't in itself in the flailing club category.  Having the
invisible Bush draped in the flag, or putting his manhood in a blind trust, is,
however <g>.




>Edward J. Branley         elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us<
>Seashell Software, Metairie, LA            +1-504-455-5087<
From: elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Dan Advertises for Murphy Brown Reruns!
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 92 18:37:03 CDT
Organization: Minas Tirith BBS (Public Access Usenet for New Orleans)

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:

> In article <lav3dsINNtl@mizar.usc.edu> biddleco@mizar.usc.edu (Susan Biddleco
>
> >
> >Can anyone think of any other standing President or Vice President who has
> >made a TV commercial (besides campaign stuff) while in office?
> >
> >Susan
> >
>
> Well, Nixon appeared on Laugh-In.  Does that count?
>

Not really.  That was during the '68 campaign, if my memory serves me
correctly.



>Edward J. Branley         elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us<
>Seashell Software, Metairie, LA            +1-504-455-5087<
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: dks@MIT.EDU (dks)
Subject: Does this woman really expect us to be sympathetic?
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 92 23:45:53 EST
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I am forwarding the following message for a friend.


Dhanesh

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  > WASHINGTON (AP) -- Marilyn Quayle complained Friday that her remarks at the
  > Republican convention on women and family values have been distorted [...]

  Why is everyone being so mean to you, Marilyn?


  > "The great hazard of stating one's views publicly, in one's own
  > words, is that they will be misunderstood or, for political reasons,
  > deliberately misconstrued," the vice president's wife wrote in an opinion
  > piece published in The New York Times.

  I just HATE when that happens.  Don't you?


  > Mrs. Quayle said that since her convention speech last month she had
  > endured "an experience similar to looking in a fun-house mirror, watching
  > my words come back at me in grotesque, often unrecognizable forms."

  Shocking!  Poor Marilyn!  Just tell Your Man -- surely, he'll protect you
  from all the scary things and all the bad people.


  Love,
  Hillary

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Post-script

Hey, Marilyn:  Never mind the cookies.  If you
can't stand the heat, just get out of the kitchen!


Dhanesh

Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3469 alt.politics.bush:4472
From: leisti@cc.helsinki.fi (Teemu Leisti)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Vote 92
Date: 15 Sep 92 15:25:02 GMT
Organization: University of Helsinki

lcl@splinter.coe.northeastern.edu (Lisa C. Lewis) writes:

> Make history this year...
> 
> BE SURE TO VOTE AND VOTE THE DEMOCRATIC TICKET!!

I would, if I could.  Message: I care.


--  Teemu Leisti  /  U. of Helsinki, Finland  /  leisti@cc.helsinki.fi

        "All my life, I wanted to be somebody."    -- Anonymous
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3787 alt.politics.elections:13191
From: king@cogsci.ucsd.EDU (Jonathan King)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.elections
Subject: California polling (Was: Re: Polls R Us)
Keywords: horserace, poll, kick the bastards out
Date: 15 Sep 92 08:52:35 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of California, San Diego

madhaus@netcom.com (Maddi Hausmann) writes:
>More good news from the Cultural Elite Distribution Centre (CNN).

Heh.  Thanks for the info, though, for those of us who are Cable
Impared. :-)

>Formerly-disgraced-but-attempting-rehabilitation-ex-President Nixon
>advised Bush and Quayl to forget California and concentrate on
>Illinois and New Jersey.

Sounds pretty reasonable, although I would suggest a lot of attention
on Michigan and Ohio, too.  Or maybe instead, depending on what the
IL polls say.

>The last California poll I saw had Clinton ahead by 35 points.

Ouch!  Really?  When was that?  I thought he had only about a 15-point
lead...

>Bush is losing in Orange County, the home of Republican Family Values,
>where Republicrats outnumber Democans 5 to 3.  If he can't carry this
>county, he is truly out of touch with his supporters.

This was true for awhile, but then Orange County flipped back to Bush
after the convention.  Has it now flipped back again to Clinton?  The
reason why I wondered at the 35% lead you claim for Clinton is that I
thought Orange County was for Bush again, while Clinton's lead in SD
county was only a solid lean.  (This would be enough to kill Bush, by
the way, but it would be hard to generate a 35 point lead this way.)

>[San Jose (Field?) Poll rehash deleted]
>
>Finally, the yuppie-discussion-at-parties meter shows that no one
>will *admit* they are planning to vote for Bush.  I have not seen
>ONE Bush/Quayl bumper sticker (plenty of Clinton/Gore, and old Perots).

There are some Bush/Quayle stickers around here in SD, but not too
many.  Scads of half-scraped-off Perot stickers.  A goodly number of
Clinton/Gores, though, and a surprising number of those on vehicles
apparently owned by either Hodads or real surfers.  Woah!  Just as I
wrote that last sentence, I felt one of long rolling seismic waves we
have down here...it must be a sign!  :-) Maybe a sign of a sudden
groundswell of Clinton support...  But seriously, that was a pretty
good one a minute ago; time to head home...

jking
From: williams@herky.cs.uiowa.edu (Kent Williams)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: A Simple Question
Date: 9 Sep 92 13:27:40 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of Iowa, Iowa City, IA, USA

From article <1992Sep9.021317.14756@umbc3.umbc.edu>, by alex@engr3.umbc.edu (alex):
> In article <Bu9tnB.C1L.1@cs.cmu.edu> alexo+@cs.cmu.edu (Alex Orenshteyn) writes:
>>In article <1992Sep8.135545.26002@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
> 
>>Curious that Mr. Bush could not find a single republican president he wants
>>to emulate.
> 
> 	He kind of reminds me of Herber Hoover.
> 

Now you've REALLY done it. I live about 15 miles from the
HoovMeister's birth place.  Here in Iowa we know Herbert Hoover, and
let me tell you, George Bush is no Herbert Hoover.

1. Herbert Hoover was a Quaker.

2. Herbert Hoover was in charge of food aid to France after World War I
and did a fantastic job.  There's a statue in West Branch from the
french people thanking him for the work he did.

3. Herbert Hoover was an articulate, thoughtful speaker and writer.

4. Herbert Hoover was born and raised in very modest circumstances,
and never forgot it.  His birthplace is a funky little house about as
big as a single car garage.

Hoover had the bad luck to preside over the beginning of the great
depression.  He was definitely out of his depth there.  But he was a
good man. George Bush is a completely unprincipled, cynical,
unimaginative boob in the grand tradition of J Edgar Hoover and
Richard Nixon.
--
Kent Williams -- williams@cs.uiowa.edu
"I'm tired of being nice to people who're full of shit" -- Me
From: browns@ccu.umanitoba.ca (Stuart Brown)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: worthless comic strips
Keywords: creationist propaganda
Date: 14 Sep 92 15:16:47 GMT
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

In article <1992Sep9.150914@IASTATE.EDU> danwell@IASTATE.EDU (Daniel A Ashlock) writes:
>
>
>[The B.C. comic strip contains anti-evolution and pro-school prayer strips]
>
>> It could be that long.  It is certainly not the first time I have seen
>> creationist themes, or more specifically, sarcastic anti-evolution
>> comments, in B.C.  I think they were always through Wiley, though I am
>> afraid I can't remember any specific examples.  And you should see some
>> of the stuff he produces around Christmas or Easter!! (ie. references
>> to the Nativity or Resurrection).
>> 
>> Wayne.
>
>    (V) Humans and dinosaurs are contemporanious. (B.S.! Thanks to those on
>talk.origins that pointed this out).
>
>   I've read B.C. for YEARS and it seems that Mr. Hart has only recently
>transformed from a soft core, tollerant, evangelical christian to a brainwashed
>zombie purveyor of conservative hate propaganda.  This sort of worries me; lots
>of people read the comics before (or instead of) the front page.  This
>progression represents another jack-boot clomp in the progress of
>irrationalistic think-o-phobia.  Ackthpppttt!
>
>Dan (from inside my asbestos tent, where I am watching M*A*S*H reruns)
>Danwell@IASTATE.EDU

Hey, lighten up you guys.  This is the funny pages we're talking about here.
This type of extremist fear-mongering is more appropriate for the religious
right wing crazies than the self-righteous ultra Politically Korrect crowd
here on a.f.d.q   

I mean there is some freedom of expression allowed to an artist, even if 
that artist has opinions that differ from your own.  I mean the cave-man
dinosaur gag is common even in Gary Larson's Far Side, and that is the
most popular strip in every biology lab that I have ever worked in. It is
the job of the Funnies to be funny, not to teach us about evolution.

	-Stu

-- 
Stuart M. Brown                             If you can remain cool when all 
U. of Manitoba, Dept. Plant Science         Around you are in panic,
Winnipeg, Manitoba, CANADA
browns@ccu.umanitoba.ca            Then you surely misunderstand the situation
From: henryc@panix.com (Henry Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: dan gif?
Date: 9 Sep 92 18:00:03 GMT
Organization: PANIX Public Access Unix & Internet, NYC


Is there an ftp site where I can access Dan Quayle gifs?
Any and all help in this matter is appreciated.

-- 
" I am from the planet Larson on the far side of the Galaxy" said the
space cow invading St. Canard -Dark Wing Duck

HenryC@Panix.Com
From: lana@magenta.corp.sgi.com (Lana Mountford)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Quayle Top-10 Lists!
Date: 9 Sep 92 20:53:41 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

Hi, folks!

For a number of years, I taped the David Letterman show,
just to get his "top-10" lists (he's on too late for me to
stay up and watch).  I'd watch the tape the next day, copy
down his top-10 list, and tape over the previous night's
show the next night.

I was cleaning out my nighstand drawers over the long
weekend, and came across the notebook I used to record the
top-10 lists.  Reading through it, I found the following:

DAN QUAYLE'S TOP TEN NATIONAL GUARD DUTIES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10.  Make sure Armory's vending machines never run out of
     pretzel sticks.

 9.  Look through catalogs for cute gifts for officers'
     wives.

 8.  Enforce "no horseplay" rule at public pools.

 7.  Play hula girl on skit night.

 6.  Make sure hot side stays hot, cool side stays cool.

 5.  Make cool explosion sounds when platoon trains with
     dummy grenades.

 4.  Beat local Scout troops to best lakeside campsites.

 3.  Keep guys without shirts from entering 7-Elevens.

 2.  Write to Nancy Sinatra; urge her to visit base.

 1.  Round-the-clock blob watch.


I have probably a dozen or so lists with Dan Quayle as 
the feature.  :-)

-- 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|    /)                      | Lana Mountford    
|   / /  __    ___    __     | Silicon Graphics  
|__(_/__(__)\__/  )__(__)\__ | Mountain View, CA 
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: larryh@cabezon.uucp (Larry Huntley)
Subject: Re: Dan Advertises for Murphy Brown Reruns!
Organization: Logic Modeling Inc of Beaverton, Oregon
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 20:12:23 GMT

    Given this whole thread topic and many others, I think the phrase
    "Bread and Circuses" will be in wide use before very long.

    QuayleThought:  "No one will notice I'm a nit-wit and not doing
    anything useful if I show them I'm a good sport and do the TV
    promo thing."

    It's becoming a bit tiresome.

    - Larry Huntley

-- 
         (larryh@lmc.com)         | You played golf; you watched football;
     Logic Modeling Corporation   |   you drank beer -- we EVOLVED!
          Beaverton,  OR          |         - Rhonda,  "Thing-Fish"
From: ian@sinix.UUCP (Ian Malone)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Depressing
Keywords: Shark Mouth
Date: 8 Sep 92 10:55:25 GMT
Organization: SNI AG Muenchen, STO XS

Speaking of depressing....

Could you imagine going home every night to Mariyln Quayle?  Seriously.
I imagine our man Dan a pretty simple guy. Coming home each night,
fibbing about how he was at the office and not really at the golf course,
opening a cold can o' bud and sitting back to watch the game. Then SHE walks
in:

	"Oh, hi Marilyn.  How was your day?" he asks innocently.
	"Danforth, we have to talk, there's a -- WHAT are YOU drinking?" she
screams, "is that ALCOHOL in OUR HOUSE????".  To which a very sheepish Dan
replies,
	"Oh. sorry honey.  I am sorry. Yes sorry I am, sorry I was, and sorry
I will be.  I never do it again.  I am sorry."  After Marilyn just barely
regains control she continues..
	"As I was saying, there's a couple of things I want you to say in the
speech I am writing for you tomorrow."  Dan replies in a whiny little boy voice
	"Oh dear, do I have a speech tommorrow?" He has the deer in the 
headlights expression in his face. She continues,
	"Yes, you'll be talking about the liberal media, and abortion, the 
murdering of children, INNOCENT CHILDREN, did you hear me, Danforth? Danforth?
How can you just SIT THERE when even as we speak the liberal media, in a
nationwide conspiracy with the Cultural Elite, and those, those atheist,
haethen godless scum called d-e-m-o-c-r-a-t-s are trying to RUIN THIS FINE
NATION UNDER GOD, DO YOU HEAR ME???!!!!!  DANFORTH!!!!  DANFORTH!!!!  WE HAVE
TO STOP THEM, THEY ARE RUINING THIS COUNTRY!!!  I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!!!"
Dan looks in the direction of his now raving wife.  He trys to avert his eyes
but realizes that she is frothing at the mouth.  He speaks timidly,
	"H-h-honey?  Are you okay?  I'll do what ever you want dear.  I have
locked all the windows and doors.  I am pretty sure none of the cultural
elite or the liberal media can get in here.  Honey?  Marilyn?  It's ok dear,
everything will be just fine.  We are all happy campers, happy campers we are,
happy campers we have been, and as far as I am concerned, happy campers we will
always be."

God, could you just imagine having that raging lunatic storming around the
house quoting bible passages and screaming incoherient nonsense about
imagined conspiracies and the godless left?

Party-time?  Not!

Ian
From: yamauchi@ces.cwru.edu (Brian Yamauchi)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: The Comic Election: BC, Doonesbury &... Cerebus (was Re: worthless...)
Date: 11 Sep 92 01:18:57
Organization: Case Western Reserve University
Distribution: world
	<9SEP199211051321@juliet.caltech.edu> <1992Sep9.150914@IASTATE.EDU>
NNTP-Posting-Host: sartre.caisr.cwru.edu
In-reply-to: danwell@IASTATE.EDU's message of Wed, 9 Sep 1992 20:09:14 GMT

In article <1992Sep9.150914@IASTATE.EDU> danwell@IASTATE.EDU (Daniel A Ashlock) writes:
>   It just gets worse.  B.C. is now replaying the entire Republican convention.
>Yesterday "Dr. Peter/Headshrinker" opined that telling Dan Quayle jokes was the
>first sign you're loosing your mind ("It's a terrible thing to loose you mind. 
>Or not to have a mind to loose.").  Today Wiley's dictionary defined RU 4-86 as
>"Are you for stiffing the kid."

>   Mr. Hart certianly has a right to his opinions but this sort of mindless
>propaganda with no discussion of alternatives is disgusting.  At least the
>liberal smear campaigns, e.g. Doonesbury, tend to mention alternative points of
>view.

I've never seen Doonesbury mention alternative (read: non-liberal)
points of view -- other than to satirize them, but...

>They're also clever while Mr. Hart is flailing away with a blunt club.

You're right.  Trudeau sometimes manages to be political and funny at
the same time; Hart almost never does.  Still, some of Trudeau's gags
fall into the blunt, flailing club category as well (the invisible
president, etc).

>   (III) You have to be nuts to make fun of Dan Quayle (obviously a sign of
>being a Republican lackey; since the majority makes Dan Quayle jokes it is by
>definition sane behavior :})

Of course, the majority also elected him in the first place... :-)

>   I've read B.C. for YEARS and it seems that Mr. Hart has only recently
>transformed from a soft core, tollerant, evangelical christian to a brainwashed
>zombie purveyor of conservative hate propaganda.  This sort of worries me; lots
>of people read the comics before (or instead of) the front page.

Well, I think the most prophetic comic foreshadowing of the current
(comical) election was not on the comic page at all...

The most appropriate analogy to Bush vs. Clinton?

	Cerebus vs. the Goat

Here we have two candidates totally lacking in deeply held principles,
supported by corps of power-seekers and pandering to a variety of
special interest groups -- one known for his military conquests and
the other known for his appetites...

	"And how does Cerebus intend to run Iest?"

			"By hammer and sword, fire and iron.
			 By putting the weak to death and constant
			 testing of the strong."

	"Sort of a return to traditional family values..."
--
_______________________________________________________________________________

Brian Yamauchi			Case Western Reserve University
yamauchi@alpha.ces.cwru.edu	Department of Computer Engineering and Science
_______________________________________________________________________________

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: clements@bbn.com (Bob Clements)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: "I can even forgive Bush for Dan Quayle, but not for this."
Date: 9 Sep 1992 13:58:16 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: classic.bbn.com

>Dan Quayle was on Headline News this morning pointing out Clinton's confusing
>Cruise Missiles and Patriot missiles.  He made a joke about Clinton's
>knowledge of defense being as bad as his knowledge of spelling.


Yes, and this morning's news (ABC, I think) pointed out that Danny was
wrong, too, because the described weapons were really the smart bombs,
not cruise missiles.

Bob Clements, K1BC, clements@bbn.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: neeri@iis.ethz.ch (Matthias Neeracher)
Subject: Re: Yet another new party
Organization: Integrated Systems Laboratory, ETH, Zurich
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 13:30:42 GMT

In article <bgarfink.715619988@silver> bgarfink@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (beth diane garfinkel) writes:
>As long as we're having people run for president, why not have someone
>run on an Odonian platform?  Better yet, 
>
>		SHEVEK FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!

I don't think anarchists would like being US President. And Odonism works best
in a desert inhabited by poor people, so maybe you should try to prepare the
ground by re-electing Bush and Our Hero.

Matthias

-----
Matthias Neeracher                                      neeri@iis.ethz.ch
  "And that's why I am going to turn this world upside down, and make
   of it a fire so *bright* that someone real will notice"
                                -- Vernor Vinge, _Tatja Grimm's World_
From: sg@monsoon.com (Sunil Gupta)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Calvin for President (was Re: I'm dragging out the old T-shirt)
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 92 11:07:28 EDT
Organization: Monsoon Software, Inc.

williams@herky.cs.uiowa.edu (Kent Williams) writes:

> I prefer
> 
> GEORGE CLINTON/BOOTSY COLLINS '92
> 
> One nation under a groove!

Hey, there's a ticket I could support!

Shake that groove thang!

Sunil Gupta
Monsoon Software, Inc.
sg@monsoon.com