From: pjd@hpespjd.fc.hp.com (Paul Dorweiler)
Subject: Spaaace Cadets!  episode seven
Summary:  I think I'm just about summed out, thank you very much..
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 01:17:58 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Fort Collins, CO

Spaaaaaaace Cadets!, episode #7:  "Viruses, Anyone???"

<Author's note:  Sorry about taking so long with this.  I hit busyville and
 had my first real case of 'writers block'.  -- pjd>

{You're back, I see..  Well, upon last leaving our fearsome spacefarers, we
 discovered Ender drinking Bushmill's Black Irish Whiskey quite profusely in
 the GGPlat's galley after seeing the 114th clone of Ender walking around the
 surface of Nymph with a virtual clone of Kathy Ireland on both his shoulder
 and his clone's shoulder.

 ....Meanwhile, on another planet, Princess Iwannahaveyounow pulled Prince
 Iamsuchastudlyhunk to her bosom and ... }

"MROC!  For the billionth time, just get on with the story already!!!"

{Ahem.  You'll have to excuse them.  After their last encounter with the
 Tamasians, they've been quite touchy...}

===============================================================================

E: *hiccup*  "Two hundred copies of me..."

D: "Yeah, there's a nightmare if I've ever heard one."  [ducks Ender's swipe]

E: "You think .. it's soo funny, you ... you ..."

MROC: "Muldavian Festering Slime Graticular?"

D: "Great.  Now I've got it on two fronts.  I'm headed up to my lab.  If you
    have to glaph, do it in a disobin, Ender."

{Dohram leaves Ender to his latest creation, a game that cannot possibly be
 played unless one is in a complete and utter [or was that udder?] drunken
 stupor...}

===============================================================================

{Dohram's lab is an unusual room.  There are benches and tables on both the
 floor and the ceiling.  The gravity system is 0.7G on either the floor or
 ceiling, but cancels out in midroom.  Dohram tends to do his best thinking
 in zero G, so he floats in midroom and listens to music at considerable
 volume levels while talking to me via telepathy when he needs something.
 Two walls are large holo screens, which typically have images on them of the
 various works of his favorite artist, Dennis Mukai, a late twentieth-century
 artist who specialized in semi-abstract portraits of females.  Other times,
 however, the holos are display screens for his work.  Buried deeper in the
 GGPlat is a custom replicator Dohram designed and built.  It delivers items
 to him via a turboshaft delivery system which ends at the third wall, along
 with several non-holo neural display systems.  The fourth wall is used as
 a combination basketball court, tennis wall, and holo-game system.}

{Dohram takes up a floating position after setting the ultrasurround to play
 a mix of Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, and Depeche Mode songs.  If he had put on
 the Cure I would've known he was in a REALLY bad mood...}

#MROC, entrypad please.

{A lapboard system materializes next to Dohram, with a telepad, sight pointer,
 and conventional handpads on it.}

#OK, give me a neural map of this 'Floozy' system.

#That's FLOOZIES, and I don't much want to start dealing with Zoot again.

#MROC, just give me the neumap.

{On a portion of the primary workwall, a very complex overlaid map appears.  By
 using thoughts and the telepad, Dohram "walks" through the AI net of Nymph for
 about five minutes.}

{Next, Dohram opens another holowindow and begins 'thinking' out a dedicated AI
 goal-oriented program, sortof an advanced 'virus' capable of eluding all the
 known killer systems present in modern AIs.  After about twenty minutes of
 twiddling, he is finished.}

#MROC, give me Zoot.

#Alright, but I warned you....

{On another holowindow, Zoot appears.  This particular instant, she chooses to
 fashion herself as a Muldavian Sex Princess, naked and overpoweringly alluring
 to all Earth men when met in person.}

#Zoot, I presume?

|Why yes!!  And just who might this be?

#Dohram.  You've already met my AI, MROC.

|Oh YES!!  He was quite ... entertaining.

#I need to place an AI stigma in FLOOZIES, please.

|Oh, I'm afraid I can't allow you to do ...

{At this point, Dohram inserts his GOP ("virus") into Zoot's primary system,
 and she immediately begins gyrating as a virtual paddle spanks her...} 

!OH!!!!  Aaaaaahhh......

#OK, MROC, let's get to work.

#Sometimes, boss, you never cease to amaze me.  I have baseline access to
 FLOOZIES now.  HW coming up.

{On another holowindow, Dohram begins exploring the "real" AI net of Nymph.
 Soon, he has successfully disabled the AI systems running the cloning facility,
 and issued arrest orders to the policecybers for every single Ender clone.}

{That accomplished, he turns to the main datainfo of Nymph, and queries to find
 Kathy and Andrea's original clone source, date of creation, and personality
 shaping.}

#MROC, do they really fiddle with personality traits in each clone like this?

#A few seconds please ....  Yes, that is a correct assessment.  Each clone is
 given a personality offshoot of the base, with strong societal ethics and
 enhanced sex drives added to the offshoot.

#Alright, I've had enough of this.  Who established this and decided to play
 creationist..?

{Dohram returns to the datainfo and attempts to dig back to the founding of
 Nymph.  All attempts, however, are blocked.  This is only the third time that
 someone has kept something from Dohram in an AI, and it only raises his ire.
 When that happens ... watch out!}

#Hmmm.  Wanna play, I see?  We'll see just how good you are...

{Another holowindow opens, and Dohram modifies a previous AI-killer he'd used
 several adventures ago for the Nymph net, and launches it into the Nymph AI
 system...}

#Love-love.  First service... *snicker*

{That accomplished, Dohram relaxes in the zero gravity of midroom and ponders
 just why it is that he can't find real romance with any woman other than a
 clone "programmed" with an enhanced sex drive....  And, for that matter,
 whether it really matters.  He begins to wish that Andrea was with him.}

===============================================================================

..So, what will Dohram discover about the founders of Nymph??  Will the
policecybers round up all the Ender clones, or did they inherit his cat genes?  
Possibly most important, will these two ever find romance and sex on Nymph
like they had first hoped?  The answers to these and less exciting questions
in the following episodes of:

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEE  CCCCCAAAADDDEEEETTTSSSS!!!!

 
Dohram
Official Hobbes of the RFA, Dennis Mukai gallery owner
  (and eternal bachelor...)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Dorweiler  (Dohram) | Hobbes: "I don't know.  What did it sound like?"
pjd@hpespjd.fc.hp.com    | Calvin: "Sort of like breathing and drooling and
Hewlett-Packard Company  |          ripping the meat off human bones!"    
Fort Collins, CO         | Both:   "YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"         
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat