HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: gwu@nujoizey.tcs.com (George Wu)
Subject: Re: Stereotypes in School (Re: BARBIE DOES IT AGAIN!!!!)
Organization: Teknekron Communications Systems Inc.
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 22:14:22 GMT

In article <1421@ncrclm.ClemsonSC.NCR.COM>, hruo@ncrclm.ClemsonSC.NCR.COM (Hiro Ruo) writes:
> 
> Surprisingly, there are SOME advantages to these stereotypes.... for one....
> because Asians/Asian-Americans are thought of as "especially good in math and
> science", the average person will have MORE respect for you.  For example, I
> live in the South, where to this day, blacks are still looked down on by many
> caucasians.  However, because I walk and talk just like any other American,
> I've been told by several that they don't really view me as Asian-American. 
> But they KNOW that I am..... They are more willing to view Asian-Americans as
> "equals" or "peers" than someone of an African-American heritage.
> 
> Maybe at schools, these stereotyped traits are viewed more negatively becuase
> of the intense competition for jobs, grades, etc..... but it's really not TOO
> bad.  

     I'm afraid I must disagree.  Sure, it's possible to use one
particular stereotype to your advantage.  However, anyone willing to hold
one stereotype is willing to hold others, and those others may not be so
favorable.  If he thinks Asians/Asian-Americans are better in math, then
he just might also believe all the women are hot sex toys and all the men
nerdy geeks.

     In the long run, it's better to dispel all race based stereotypes.

							George


----
George J Wu, Software Engineer         | gwu@tcs.com or uunet!tcs!gwu
Teknekron Communications Systems, Inc. | (510) 649-3700
2121 Allston Way, Berkeley, CA, 94704  | Never be the first to believe . . .
From: brighid@hern.stonemarche.org
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Names (don't do this to your kids)
Date: 7 Oct 92 19:49:19 EDT
Organization: Hern the Hunter, Stonemarche (NH)

A friend of mine's dad is a professor of philosophy - Dr. Wisdom.
His department (Temple U.) also had/has a professor named 
Dr. Vision.

Brighid
brighid@hern.stonemarche.org
From: sas@crosfield.co.uk (sharon sproat)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Need info on Germantown, MD
Date: 7 Oct 92 12:44:15 GMT
Organization: Crosfield Electronics, Hemel Hempstead, United Kingdom.


Hello out there!

I'm an American who has lived in the U.K. for 6 years. I have an English
friend, Judith, who needs some help:

She is likely to move to Maryland soon, because her husband has been offered
a job in Germantown (or somewhere near there.) She has never even visited
the U.S. before, and had loads of questions for me, many of them pertaining
to life with kids out there.

I wasn't able to answer her questions very well, because I haven't lived in
the States for 6 years, have never been a parent there (and don't know many
people there with young kids), and have never lived in Maryland!

So, do any of you know of a good place for families to live near
Germantown? Judith has 2 boys, age 2 and 4. She won't be able to work, and
wants to know how you meet other people with children, and what you do/where
you go during the day with kids. The U.K. does pretty well in this respect.

She also asked about schools - do most kids attend public schools? Which
ones are good? What sort of pre-school education is available?

Driving - is there any place you can live where 'Mom' doesn't have to drive
at all (or at least not very much)? This is usually possible in the U.K. I
hope there are a few sane places where this is possible even in the States.
I don't want to have to tell Judith that she'll need to drive everywhere,
and that every household requires two cars!


Please email replies to:

sas@crosfield.co.uk


Thanks in advance for any information you can supply.

Sharon Sproat


(I've never got around to creating a .sig!)
From: AMY.UHRBACH@OFFICE.WANG.COM ("Amy Uhrbach")
Subject: re: crying toddler
Organization: Mail to News Gateway at Wang Labs
Date: 15 Oct 92 15:11:33 EST

re: toddler who cries when put in his bed...
This sounds familiar!  Try the "Ferber" method (from a sleep book by Ferber,
forot the title).  Put your son in his bed, and tell him that there's a new
rule/system.  You will come in to let him know you're around, but he cannot
come into your bed.  If he has to cry to (re)learn to sleep on his own, that's
ok.  Then leave.  Come back in at increasingly longer intervals (5 minutes,
then 10, then 15...).  Each time stay for less than a minute, and just tell
him it's ok, you're nearby, but he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own.
The trick is not to reinforce the crying by giving him what he wants (getting
up, or more of your attention).  Don't be angry, don't let him see you're
upset, just appear calm, like you're working on a new task with him.

It is really hard to hear him cry the first night, and he may cry for a long
time again.  Try to stick with it; at least try not to put him in your bed.
We have done this, and it does work.  It is harder on me than on my son!!
After the first night, he should only cry for a short time.  For us, the
crying stopped completely by night 3.  We have had to do this again, when
ilness or whatever required our being with him for a few nights.  But after a
couple times, he has never cried again more than 10 minutes!  And now (33 m),
he doesn't cry at all - we just tell him there's a new rule, and he needs to
learn to sleep himself again.

Moral support:  This will NOT hurt your kid!  It has actually helped our son to
know he can do things himself, and he does like knowing we will not let him go
too far in running our house!
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: rmorey@utrcv1 (Randall Morey)
Subject: Re: questions: baby monitors
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: United Technologies Research Center
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 16:46:00 GMT

In article <JEFFK.92Oct7151649@dosXX.med.utah.edu>, jeffk@dosXX.med.utah.edu (Jeff Knell) writes...
>We have been using a Gerry monitor for three years;
>this is one of those two-unit deals -- one in the
>parent's bedroom, and one so the baby can hear when
>they're messing around. 
> 
>It has developed a very annoying buzz, and it has 
>the unwanted ability to pick up the neighbor's CB 
>transmissions.
> 
>Does anyone have any suggestions on better monitors?
> 
>Does anyone know if all montiors work on common CB
>frequencies?  If not, which ones do not?
> 
> 
>Thanks in advance.
> 
> 
>jeff

We had the same problem. It's because the monitor uses an AM frequency, which
is much more prone to noise than an FM model. CBs are also AM.

You can get an FM monitor set from Radio Shack (standard disclaimer) or 
somewhere else, but be sure it's FM. Check for the standard frequency of
49 MHz. They are *extremely* quiet, and you can hear a whisper easily.

One word of caution: 49 MHz is also the standard frequency for walkie-talkies.
If your kids have 49MHz w-t's, they may interfere with them when they're 
playing with them. As with any monitor, be aware that it's possible for 
neighbors to eavesdrop.

Randy Morey                            | "Those who play the sax play twice"
United Technologies Research Center    |
East Hartford, CT                      |
From: judyd@rosebud.CNA.TEK.COM (Judy E. Drake)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: YEA, Baby #3 ... Midwife Info
Date: 12 Oct 92 21:05:33 GMT
Article-I.D.: master.3754
Distribution: usa
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Redmond,  OR.

In article <1992Oct9.043752.14974@wam.umd.edu> stark@wam.umd.edu (Mike Stark) writes:
>... Before our first child, Mary and
>I interviewed many midwives and one OB/Gyn which Mary had trusted for years.
>These interviews left us both more confident that the midwives were better 
>equiped to handle pregnancy...
>
>It is true that if you need a C-section, you had better enlist the services
>of a surgeon.  If, however, you do not need one, I think you had better stay
>as far a way from an OB as possible.

Oh come on now!  How can you possibly jump to this conclusion after
interviewing _one_ OB???  My OB delivered both my children, and was
especially wonderful with my first labor, which was very difficult.
She provided all my prenatal care for each pregnancy, and unlike a
midwife, I will continue to go to her for all my gynecological care.
The only difference between my OB and a midwife is that my doctor 
has more medical knowledge and _would_ be able to handle an emergency.
She is a wonderful, caring person, a mother of small children herself,
_and_ has delivered hundreds of babies.

I think it's a very good idea to pick your obstetric care carefully,
if you have that option (i.e., not locked into a particular program,
like Kaiser).  But let's not make blanket statements like unless you
need a C-section, "stay as far away from an OB as possible."

Judy Drake
Xref: sparky misc.kids:25877 misc.legal:18550
From: tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll)
Newsgroups: misc.kids,misc.legal
Subject: Re: Attractive Nuisance (was: East Bay Regional Parks/dog
Date: 12 Oct 92 20:39:30 GMT

Reply-To: tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll)
Followup-To: 
Distribution: world
Organization: Amdahl Corporation
Keywords: 

In article <1992Oct12.165439.25404@adobe.com>, pngai@adobe.com (Phil Ngai) 
writes:
> In article <3eOn02ls25Ex01@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com> tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com 
> (Terry Carroll) writes:
> >What are you doing letting your ten-year-old kid run around an abandoned 
> >railroad turntable unattended?  A kid shouldn't be permitted to run around 
> >unattended until he can realize the dangers.
> 
> As I'm sure many parents will be happy to let you know, many kids are
> allowed to go out and visit their friends at the age of 5. I know this
> to be the case in my niece's neighborhood.

If the child is incapable of comprehending the dangers, I consider that poor 
parenting, regardless of the state of the law or how widespread the practice 
is.

Terry Carroll - tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com - 408/992-2152
The opinions presented above are not necessarily those of a sound mind.
Xref: sparky misc.kids:25532 soc.singles:27262
From: mryan@stsci.edu
Subject: 10-year-old ostracized at school
Organization: Space Telescope Science Institute
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 21:46:04 GMT

My 10-year-old son Eddie, who has always had trouble making friends, is now 
being actively ostracized by the other 5th-graders.  For example, when he 
sits down at a lunch table with other kids, they all get up and move to 
another table.  No one is overtly picking a fight with him, but they are 
excluding him from all activities at recess and lunchtime.

Eddie said that one boy in his class plays with him every day at his
after school daycare, but shuns him at school.  I told him to ask this boy
why.  The boy's answer was, that he doesn't talk to Eddie at school because
if he did "then Danny won't like me."  Danny seems to be the popular kid,
admired by all the other kids, and I know he has called Eddie a "wimp".
I don't know how actively Danny is orchestrating the ostracism.

Eddie's personality seems to be the reason other kids don't like him.
He is shy and feels wounded when somebody teases him, and withdraws.
But this situation, since school started in September, is really bad
and I don't know what to do.  I called his teacher yesterday and asked
him to observe what is going on.  I asked Eddie if he wanted me to get
him switched to a different class, but he said no.

Advice from those who have been in a similar situation is appreciated.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mary Ryan			mryan@stsci.edu
Space Telescope Science Institute
Baltimore, Maryland
From: ngivler@bbn.com (Noelle Givler)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Victims of Bullies
Date: 15 Oct 92 19:08:59 GMT
Article-I.D.: news.ldrgebINNbb4
Reply-To: ngivler@spca.bbn.com (Noelle Givler)
Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman Inc., Cambridge MA
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com

I've been reading the thread on bullying and ostracism and I'm interested in
what seems to be a common theme.  Most stories of dealing with bullies
emphasize that the child handled the situation - whether teasing, hitting, or 
... - without asking adults for help.  Furthermore it seems to be common wisdom 
that the child should confront the bully - running away from the bully is 
somehow shameful.

This perplexes me.  As an adult, I have no compunction about running away from
a threatening situation.  If another adult is nearby, I ask them from help.  
If I am unable to escape, I expect the police to pursue my attacker.  Why do
we expect children to handle the situation any differently? How does the 10 
year old bully learn that violence is not acceptable if adults always ignore
his/her aggression towards other children?

To bring this back to Diane Lin's original post -
I see no reason why her son should have to deal with a bully himself.  We live
within a society which professes to believe that might does not make right. We
have laws designed to enforce this. Why should the rules be any different on 
the playground?  

ob personal experience follows -

My family moved into a predominantly black neighborhood when I was 7.  I was
the only white child in my class.  Not only was I white, I was a clumsy, shy,
not very verbal, teachers-pet white kid. The teasing started verbally and soon
escalated.  Within several weeks I was regularly (1 - 2x a week) getting beat
up.  I came home with a black eye, several bloody noses and once ended up in
the emergency room with a mild concussion

My family started by advising me to ignore the teasing.  When I came home after
the first fight, they told me to stand my ground and fight back. (Yeah right -
we're talking about a 7 year old who didn't have enough muscle to dent a
pillow.)  I tryed to hit back, it didn't seem successful so mostly I just took
the punches and tryed to figure out how to get away.  When I came home with 
the concussion, my parents finally decided that discretion was the better part
of valor. They told me to start running the instant I sensed that I might be a 
target.  The running worked.  I was fast enough that they couldn't catch me and
you can't hit what you can't catch.  It even earned me a modicum of respect - 
now at least I was a fast honky.

The problem was resolved when we moved to a different town a month later.  I
was never the most popular kid in the class but I was never the scapegoat
again.  I even became respected enough that I was able to get the kids in my 
class to stop teasing other social outcasts.  

I still don't understand, however, why my parents and teachers felt that it was
my responsability to handle the bullies. As a sociey we discourage adults from
assaulting other adults, why don't we feel the same way about children hitting
other children?

Noelle Givler
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.edu.au (Mylene Pijpers)
Subject: Re: Birth Story & moving with a newborn
Organization: Elec Eng, Univ of Western Australia
Date: 14 Oct 92 07:21:32 GMT

In <Bw0wM8.6DF@access.digex.com> minx@access.digex.com (minx) writes:

>In article <1992Oct12.143657.17078@chpc.utexas.edu> jbyrd@chpc.utexas.edu (Jan Byrd) writes:
>>I've often wondered what midwives do if the water *isn't* clear, which was
>>the case for me with baby #3.  He was overdue and had pooped in the amniotic
>>fluid, so my water was greenish-black.  My OB just said he would have to 
>>suction him extra good when he finally made his way out but before he was 
>>"allowed" to breath.  This didn't seem to be a "big problem".  But the OB 
>>of a friend of mine did an immediate caesarean on her because of this (SHE 
>>says that was his only reason for doing a caesarean.
>>
>>So what do midwives say about this?

>I believe that what midwives say is that the woman should come in to have
>the baby monitored.  Passing meronium (sp?) in the amniotic fluid is 
>POSSIBLY a sign of fetal distress.  If the baby is not in distress, and
>the labor is progressing smoothly, I believe that you can still have an
>out of the hospital birth.  Of course, if the baby is in distress, a
>midwife would take you to the hospital since it is no longer a low risk
>birth.

In my(our) case the amniotic fluid was brown, indicating passing of
meconium quite some time before (green = more recent). 
This meant: monitoring.
As far as I know this is common policy for midwives in the Netherlands.
Monitoring means: midwife hands over the case to OB.
We went for a policlinical birth, but in case of a homebirth 
this would have meant going to the hospital.

Mylene


Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: schulman@mdd.comm.mot.com (Jan Schulman)
Subject: RE: Aggression, bullying, persecution, ostracism
Organization: Motorola, Mobile Data Division - Seattle, WA
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 19:40:16 GMT

stank@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (Stan Krieger) wrote:
>I think this, and other discussions on the issue, point out two
>general problems-

>   1.   Why do some children become the target of bullying or of
>        out and out persecution (i.e., the child "everybody"
>        picks on), and
 
>   2.   Why are adult leaders, such as teachers and youth group
>        leaders, totally incapable, unable, or unwilling to handle
>        it?

Based on my experience, I would like to answer these questions on a particular
case -  victim of ostracism of a popular kid.  

1. If a popular kid wants to pick on a target, usually he picks on someone
   he wants to see him to be hurt for some reason. The target kid could be
   "easily to feel hurt" type, "too smart" type, or any type the personality
   offending the popular kid. 

2. The victim always gets trouble during recess time. The popular kid often 
   talks well to get other followers to make the situation worse for the victim.
   Teacher is not with kids during recess time. If a teacher hear two sides of
   story from the popular kid and the victim, she usually won't be able to judge
   the situation. That's why teachers can't help much.

   Parents' help usually are : 
   1> Tell victim to ignore the popular kid and the situation.
   2> Tell victim to stand out for himself(herself).
   3> Tell victim to make friends with the popular kid. 
   4> Ask teacher's help.

   And none of the above will work if the popular kid makes up his mind to
   continue the "game".

   The only thing can help is to remove the victim from the class to 
   seperate them. It is the only way to save the victim from suffering.
   The chance he is going to be a victim in another class is slim.
From: n9020351@henson.cc.wwu.edu (James Douglas Del-Vecchio)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Victims of Bullies
Date: 15 Oct 92 23:27:17 GMT
Article-I.D.: henson.1992Oct15.232717.10687
Organization: Western Washington University

ngivler@bbn.com (Noelle Givler) writes:

>I still don't understand, however, why my parents and teachers felt that it 
>was my responsability to handle the bullies. As a sociey we discourage 
>adults from assaulting other adults, why don't we feel the same way about 
>children hitting other children?
>Noelle Givler

	We do.  However, it is _still_ just as much your responsibility 
now as it ever was to take care of yourself.   When you are assaulted,
you report it to the police.  However, while the assault is in progress, 
unless it takes place in the police station, it's up to you to put a stop 
to it, to flee or fight as the situation demands.

	One difference in situation between suffering attacks by a child
and by an adult, is that the law of most states exempts minors from being
charged for things like assault and battery in the same way that adults
can be.   While you can get the police to go after an adult who has 
attacked you, and you can sue him or have him prosecuted, it is not the 
same when another child attacks your child.  My understanding is that 
there is not very much you can do, especialy for younger children.

I am no lawyer, though, and I think there is much more you can do
that most people even bother to find out.

	By junior high there was a bully that my parents and I called
the police on, because he attacked me and smashed up my bike.  He was
very upset that the police came to talk to his mom, but neither he nor
his mom ever had to pay us for anything.  He was super pissed that I
went to the police though.   I did it more than once, and he kept beating
me up and they kept talking to his mom.   It seemed kind of pointless.

%^).   He eventualy left me alone & I don't remember why.  It was something
totaly unrelated to the situation.

Jim Del Vecchio
From: jdietz@natinst.com (Jennifer Dietz)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Names (don't do this to your kids)
Date: 8 Oct 1992 10:16:33 -0500
Organization: National Instruments, Austin, TX
NNTP-Posting-Host: eagle.natinst.com

Okay,  my contribution to the discussion....

My parents had a friend while I was growing up names Gerald.
For the longest time he wouldn't tell them his middle name.  
When he finally did they understood why (and swore not to tell).
It was Dean.  Not too bad, but when you say GeraldDean together....
Poor guy.  I'm sure his parents didn't realize what they did to him!


Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: BARBIE DOES IT AGAIN!!!!
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 13:02:11 GMT

In article <MARTINC.92Oct8203055@grover.cs.unc.edu> martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>Nance -- God forbid I should argue with you ...

Well thank you, Charlie.  I appreciate that.  Bad day?

> but the nose is -not- where
>it hurts most to get hit.

Maybe not, but it shows more.
>
>In these situations, I usually recommend stomping on the instep,
>backfist to the temple, followed by a wrist takedown and a little extra
>pressure, you know, so you hear that popping sound... but a swift
>kick in the balls is always appropriate and in good taste.

I have no way of knowing this.  Does a shot to the balls hurt a
little boy as much as it hurts a full-grown man?  Is it the same kind
of pain?  I'm not asking this for any reason other than I don't
know.

Last April my little one fell off his bike and took his first
crotch shot.  I got a call to come home.  As I was running out of
the building I encountered my loved one and I told him what happened.
He was sympathetic.  I asked him if I should put ice on it.

He still teases me about that.

-Nance
-- 
Nance Colucci  *^*^*^*^*^*    o__    *^*^*^*^*  |  Work that body!
att!ihlpk!colucci            _.>/               | Stay fit for life.
                            (_) \(_)                           
Newsgroups: misc.kids