From: dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch)
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 13:37:45 GMT

In article <1992Nov6.195854.13896@spock.UUCP>, zaphod@spock.uucp (Matthew Ryan) writes:
|> In article <1992Nov5.182616.25250@dcs.warwick.ac.uk> ngibbins@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Nick Gibbins) writes:
|> >In article <25836@optima.cs.arizona.edu> hogue@cs.arizona.edu (Justin C. Hogue) writes:
|> >>In article <Bx7FsD.6AJ.1@cs.cmu.edu> nickh@CS.CMU.EDU (Nick Haines) writes:
|> >>.Randy Wong writes:
|> >>..Daniel M Silevitch writes:
|> >>...Steven Marcotte writes:
|> >>....Babak Gohari writes:
|> >>.....Tilden-Master of Illogic writes:
|> >>......David Lutz writes:
|> >>...... Daniel M Silevitch writes:
|> >>........Brat Wizard writes:
|> >>.........galt%peruvian.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu writes:
|> >>..........Michael Schmahl [Black-Robe Mage] writes:
|> >>...........lairdpg@lub001.lamar.edu writes
|> >>............22161-bunz writes:
|> >>.............Brett G Person writes:
|> >>..............smith@ctron.com writes:
|> >>...............IronEagle writes:
|> >>................Matt Welsh writes:
|> >>.................Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!
|> >>................Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....
|> >>...............HA! _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex
|> >>...............Sinclair! TopTHAT!
|> >>..............I'm running NextStep on Atari 2600 Video Game System.
|> >>.............Just last night I was able to get Windows to boot on my
|> >>.............Sears PONG game.
|> >>............I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer
|> >>............on my Game-Boy.
|> >>...........I fear I will not be getting news any longer...  The
|> >>...........batteries on my calculator-watch are running out.
|> >>..........My calculator-watch is solar...  And if I turned off the
|> >>..........lights,  NO-ONE would be getting news...
|> >>.........feh. I'm so slick NASA just awarded ME the TERADATA contract
|> >>.........to run on my TV remote! They liked my proposal mainly because
|> >>.........I'm ALSO able to shoehorn in the TEXAS SUPERCOLLIDER
|> >>.........computations between commercials!
|> >>........Well, well well. SSC calculations, huh. I built a system out of
|> >>........2 inches of wire, 3 pennies and a AA battery that does realtime
|> >>........calculations of particle vectors during the Big Bang. A
|> >>........complete simulation of the first 2 years of the life of the
|> >>........universe, accuarate to the theoretical limit, takes about 5 seconds.
|> >>.......And you guys think you are so great.  I just spent the last half
|> >>.......hour getting X11 to run on slide rule.  I am still having
|> >>.......problems connecting it to the net around here, but I would
|> >>.......welcome any suggestions.
|> >>.......So what!!! I'm running Xinitrc, TWMRC, Internet, and 27 muds off
|> >>.......of a paperclip.  Not to mention the fact that I am designing a
|> >>......new form of television with 7000 pixiles based off a piece of
|> >>......tissue paper.  Next!!!
|> >>.....Man, that's baby stuff.  I'm running a particle accelerator
|> >>.....utilizing anti- matter-matter reactions in my doorknob, and
|> >>.....calculating everything in the fourth dimension using a single dip
|> >>.....switch and a large glass of water.
|> >>....Child's play, I have an old piece of cheese that is, at this very
|> >>....moment, raytracing an actual model of the universe five hours from
|> >>....now, while at the same time calculating the heat produced from the
|> >>....new intel Pentium.
|> >>...And you people think that you are hackers! I'm currently engaged in
|> >>...project which involves simultaneous simulation of multiple
|> >>...universes (To see what would happen if various constants change.
|> >>...Pi=8.4 is an interesting one.) My hardware consists of a single
|> >>...wooden pencil (no paper). With it, I can do real-time simulations of
|> >>...2^32 universes in parallel.
|> >>...guys are whimps!!  I've just finished converting a microwave oven into a
|> >>..paradimensional teleportation device.  The only problem I'm having so far is
|> >>..that my breakfast bagel keeps disappearing!!  May have to eat it raw . . .
|> >>
|> >>.So _that's_ why my basement is filling up with bagels. Luckily,
|> >>.decomposing bagels are an ideal platform for running my new Usenet
|> >>.cascade simulator. I was planning to model flatworm behaviour, but the
|> >>.level of intelligence isn't high enough.
|> >>>
|> >>.Nick Haines nickh@cmu.edu
|> >>
|> >>Ha! I'm running a program to prove that one can indeed surpass the speed of
|> >>light on a piece of scab from an old bycicle crash wound.  Furthermore, it 
|> >>figured out the density of stars after they collapse into a black hole, but
|> >>the number is too big to post here.
|> >Very nice. Now could one of you guru-types give me a hand? I'm having trouble 
|> >getting Xwindows to run on my working replica of Babbage's Analytical Engine...
|> >- Nick
|> >
|> Hmpph! You guys are pitiful!  But seriously, could anyone help me get my copy of
|> RenderMan to run properly?  I'm running it on a single vacuum tube, and the 
|> animation sequences are just to fast to see.  I've been running several hundred
|> copies of Mathematica in the background, calculating a proof to Fermat's Last
|> Theorem, but they all finish before I execute them, so that isn't really helping
|> me very much, and I've also tried using it to analyze the THC (Total Humor Content)
|> of rec.humor, but it just starts crying.....
|> 
|> 
The answer to your question is intuitively obvious to any real hacker. If you add
a N-dimensional warp fold to the space-time web inside the vacuum tube (see
Scientific American "The Amateur Scientist" November 2050), you will be able to
have control over the I/O rates of your system. Digging my vacuum tube out of the
junk pile (I did this 10 years ago), I have been able to retrieve the proof of
Fermat's Last Theorem. Unfortunately, there is not enough space in this post to
hold it. BTW, for real computing power, nothing beats an array of 5
electromechanical relays. I won't bother making claims as to performance, but it
beats everything anyone has concieved of.

Daniel Silevitch                               dmsilev@athena.mit.edu
Massachusetts Institute of Technology