From: saeed@watson.ibm.com (Saeed Jaffer)
Subject: Re: SEX
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 22:17:49 GMT
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: IBM T.J. Watson Research Center

Puneet writes:
|> I am taking this matter seriously, definetly not in fun or pun.

Ok.  Let's be serious here.  :-|

|> 1.	Is sex before marraige right/wrong?
|> 	If it is wrong, Why?

I think sex before marriage is a person's choice.  Personally, it seems like a good
idea to hold out for marriage, but pre-marital sex is certainly not WRONG.  Is it
RIGHT?  I suppose it would be labelled as such as long as one feels okay about it. 
I guess to many it's a moral issue, but I think it's more of a question of whether
one is emotionally ready for it or not, regardless of one's marital status.  It's
more of a psychological issue for me. 

|> 2.	If sex is wrong, is it wrong for guys and gals?
|> 	If only wrong for one, why not the other? Hypocricy?

The biggest hypocrisy I find is how men (South Asian) who engage in pre-marital
sex want ``virgins'' for wives.  I find that double-standard pretty nauseating. 
Again, sex should be the choice of the person, regardless of gender.  If someone
says it's wrong, then the policy should be consistent for both men and women.

|> 3.	Why would you have /not have sex before marraige?

The arguments against pre-marital sex seem to center mostly on religious and
personal reasons. 

|> 4.	What is Sex?  Is sex the phyical act of fucking or the
|> 	act of making love?  Is one right before marraige and
|> 	the other not?

I'm not going to try to define sex, fucking, or making love, but I will reiterate my
belief that neither are wrong or right before marriage.  It's a personal choice that
people make according to their ideas about themselves and what they want in their
personal lives.

|> 5.	Is there dishonor in sex before marraige?  Why?

As long as no animals or dead people are involved, I say no.  Why not?  Because
marriage is the union of two people who should be able to cope with their spouse's
past experiences.  Or at least confront them and deal with them.  My question here
-- what IS honor?  Izzat?  Does it really matter?

|> 6.	Do you care if the person you marry is /is not a virgin?

No.  I don't care if my spouse is a virgin or not.

|> 7.	Would you marry a "slut"?  Why? Why Not?  What is a slut?
|> 	Someone who has slept with someone else before maraige or
|> 	someone who sleeps with many people or someone who fucks
|> 	many people?

I don't believe in the idea of a ``slut'' or a ``flirt''.  But if you're asking if I
would marry someone who has a past history of promiscuity, I would say that I would
as long as I felt assured that the person's promiscuity nature would not extend into
our lives together.

|> I have many other questions, but I figure if you all are interested,
|> you will bring them up.

Well, how about this.  What about engaging in pre-marital sex with someone who's not
South Asian?  With someone who IS South Asian?  Is there a difference?  For those
who consider pre-marital sex wrong, what about a South Asian couple who have been
together for many years but do not marry (for whatever reason)?  What age do people
think pre-marital sex is too young?  12?  16?  19?  What if you are a virgin and
your spouse isn't?  What do you feel about that?  Or visa versa?  What about
extramarital sex?  How about widows and divorcees?

'nuff for now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
--saeed jaffer        			You wouldn't understand ...
saeed@watson.ibm.com  			It's a DESI thang.
saeed@athena.mit.edu  			;^)
----------------------------------------------------------------------