From: m_rheau@pavo.concordia.ca
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Questions of the Universe
Date: 1 Oct 92 00:05:00 GMT
Organization: Concordia University
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


In article <1992Sep25.171236.8381@nmt.edu>, jreynold@nmt.edu (John Reynolds) writes...
>Here's a good question for the universe.....
>How come you never *see* the money in pay-phones being collected??? 
>-Jr

Come on, man! Put two and two together!

I thought it was common knowledge, but I guess I'll have to explain
it yet again. 
You see, when you drop money in a pay phone, the coin(s) drops into a vat
of vinegar (if you listen carefully, after the "clink!", you hear a tiny
splash). The "clink!" sound, by the way, is just the coin passing through
an electromagnetic field, which, incidentally, is a vacuum. As the coin
leaves the vacuum, the release of matter from the vacuum creates a "boing!"
sound; though we know there is not sound in a vacuum, a microcosmic grounding
wire (which grounds the magnetic field) conducts the sound to our ears as
a "clink!" sound.

Now, a sophisticated solvent injected into the vinegar vat actually dissolves
the coins into a compound element known scientifically as "quardnine-5-
isotope sis". This compound, using an intricate electrochemical/metallurgical
conduction device actually *transforms* the compound into electrical energy.
This energy is very strong, and requires special wire to pass through. 
That is why pay phones have that metallic spiral wire. The compound accelerates
through the wire medium (low-quantum centripedal acceleration, of course) and
_is intended_ to accelerate to a frequency which is received by the phone
company's dedicated frequency-addressable receiver, located in a security
vault, where the electric frequency is converted back into the compound.
As the coins have now lost their shape, the compound is melted down and 
the coins are recycled into a usable format, and then cashed in by the 
phone company.  However, due to the high and often unpredictable nature of
the frequency, not all coins reach the intended destination. By sheer
coincidence, the submolecular radiation emissions of the receiving 
mechanism are so closely matched to the emission reported out of the common
clothes closet, many coins reappear in these closets instead, but are
reshaped into clothes hangars.  The reason for this is still unclear, but
it is known that only _closed_ closets will receive the high frequencies.

I hope this answered your question.

If you have any other questions, please feel free to post them to me.

If you would like to know more about everyday things, you can purchase
books that I have written:

"Where does belly-button lint come from, AND IS IT REALLY LINT?" (270 pages)
"100 chemical dissassembly projects with Play-Doh" (1704 pages)
"100 more chemical dissassembly projects with Play-Doh" (2300 pages)
"Look Mother, the kitten likes to eat Play-Doh" (170 pages, work of fiction)
"Damn cat ate all my Play-Doh! I'll never finish my 3rd Play-Doh book now!" (79
 pages, not available in hardcover)
"100 chemical dissassembly projects with kittens" (1600 pages)

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                                         |
Andrew Millen                            |  John's Axiom:
M_RHEAU@PAVO.CONCORDIA.CA                |     When your opponent is
Full-fledged   /_ /_ |\| /_ / | /  fan.  |     down, kick him.
               \/ \  | | \  > | >        |  
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