From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: LisaDibert needs a MAN!
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems Inc.
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 92 01:39:40 GMT

In article <92225.161729LMD5@psuvm.psu.edu> <LMD5@psuvm.psu.edu>
pleads:

>It really doesn't matter what the hair color is....we all have needs, wants, an
>d DESIRES.....(even those without hair)  I wished I had a million...then I coul
>d fullfill my fireside dream......you'll read about it soon....(i actually don'
>t need a million...there's a lot that can be fulfilled without it)  BUT I NEED
>A MAN!
>
>(-------------------------------------------------------------------------)
>( Lisa Marie Dibert              \      A dream is only a figment of
>( (814) 422-8603                  \     of one's imagination....unless
>( To some:  Lily of the Valley     \    you do something about it!
>(         or FLOWER                 \
>(-------------------------------------------------------------------------)


You want a MAN?  Have I got the man for you!  *heehee*

Yes Boys and Girls it is time for another exciting episode from the
chronicle of the greatest crime fighter the world has ever known!  So
pull up a chair and get ready to be amazed at the continued exploits
of ShortSquatGuywithGlassesWearingNothingbutaTowelMan!  (and his trusy
side-kick OverpricedCameraofOrientalOrigin!)

Spark Bent, mild mannered reporter for the DailyDirt had just set down
at his typewritter to type yet onther PulizerPrize winning piece on
the mating habbits of slugs, when to his super powered
MyEarsareBiggerthanCharles's (tina) hearing picked up the faint,
plantive cry of 'I need a MAN!'.  Being a Man, at least last time he
checked, he immediatly rose up to the challenge.

Heading to the copy room, knowing from past experience that the
closets are usually full, Spark went in and quickly changed from the
mild reporter to SSGwGWNbaTMan, fighting for truth, freedom, and a
bigger piece of the PizzaPie....

Flying out the wall, (funny how this room doesn't have any windows...)
he tuned in the cries of the maiden in disdress, (or datdress, I
don't care...).

'Mommy!  Mommy!  Look!  Up in the sky!  It's SSGwGWNbaTMan!  Where
has he been all this time?'

'I don't know dear, but the city is once again safe for
LawAbidingDenizens!'

Yes, the familiar form of SSGwGWNbaTMan has been missing from the
skies of Megalopolopolis for some time.  Some speculate that he flew
back to his home planet, some say he was sick, the truth is he
couldn't find the ticket stub to get his costume out of the
cleaners...

**We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin**

(beebeep beep beep beep beep beepbeep beep beep beep beep) (bulletin
music)

Flash!  [man opens coat to audience.  Audience starts laughing]

And now back to our program....

The cries are getting louder, SSGwGWNbaTMan is getting closer.  As
SSGwGWNbaTMan gets closer, the cries become louder.

'Hmmmm... the cries seem to be getting louder, I must be getting
closer.' SSGwGWNbaTMan thinks to himself... 'And they seem to be
coming from that villa.'

Quickly SSGwGWNbaTMan flies into the courtyard of the villa to find a
lovly young lady seated at a formal dinner table.  She is dressed in
a long formal dress clinging seductivly to her curvacious... huh...
curves.  The table is set for two, but SSGwGWNbaTMan only sees the
young woman.

'Expecting some one?' SSGwGWNbaTMan asks.

'A man,' the woman replies, 'a true man.  A man who can take my
breathe away, a man who can sweep me off my feet, not some boy
pretending to be a man.  I am waiting for a man who has been around
the world, seen the joys and pains of the people.  I am waiting for a
man who is loving and tender, but one who is strong enough to give me
a swift kick in the butt if I need it.  Are you such a man?'

Calmly SSGwGWNbaTMan walks over the where the other place has been
set and sits down.

'I could be.'  He replies raising the glass of champange to his lips.


**What is this gentle viewers?!  Will SSGwGWNbaTMan stay for dinner,
and perhaps..... desert?  Will the fair LisaDi want seconds?
Staaaaayyy tuuunnneed!**

Next on SSGwGWNbaTMan-

'Ummmm..... could I have more mashed potatoes?'



rip