HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: So much for dramatic exits.
Date: 12 Dec 92 04:00:15 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <1992Dec11.041557.21233@atlantis.uucp> aaron@atlantis.uucp writes:
>There is a bit of an embarrassed cough and Alfvaen shimmers back into
>existence, a look of relief on his face.  "Well, that wasn't very long, was
>it?

"Nope."

[rest deleted as a sacrifice to the bandwidth gods]

"One of the great ironies of the universe is I just got done reading
a followup crash to your farewell toast.  Actually about eight of 'em."

Big Al.  Hoping *he* gets missed that much.
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Calling all Techers (especially lawyers)
Date: 17 Dec 1992 08:21:02 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Distribution: world
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <1992Dec12.232813.14912@midway.uchicago.edu>, mss2@kimbark.uchicago.edu (Michael S. Schiffer) writes:
=	"You'll definitely want to get a real lawyer to go over this,
=but a first cursory look at the California statute doesn't seem to
=support a charge of felony arson."  Michael pulls out some Lexis
=printouts and lays them on the bar for anyone who wants to look at
=them.  "Here's the statute:"
=
=                                  PENAL CODE                                   
=                        PART 1. Crimes and Punishments                         
=                      TITLE 13. Crimes Against Property                        
=                                CHAPTER 1. Arson                               
=
=                           Cal Pen Code @ 451 (1992)                           
=
=@ 451.  Punishment for arson                                                   
=
=   A person is guilty of arson when he or she willfully and
=maliciously sets fire to or burns or causes to be burned or who aids,
=counsels, or procures the burning of, any structure, forest land, or
=property.

You're right.  It doesn't seem to support a charge of arson at all.  Looks to
me like a charge of attempted arson, on the other hand, might be supported.
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jason)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Danger Room
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Date: 15 Dec 1992 02:33:49 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aaa.uoregon.edu

In article <JBrandt-141292170236@aaa.uoregon.edu>, JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU
(Jason) wrote:
> Jason smiles at Itosu the ogre. "Hai, Itosu-san! Argent can practice any
> style, at any level. But I think what Liralen and I have in mind right now
> is a lot closer to an all-out street fight than the civilized contests of
> the dojo."

Jason looks up from his cyberdeck. Li has flashed him a memo. "Hmmmmm.
Looks like paintball is the chosen mode for our game, plus hand-to hand
against Argent. Well, better check my gear and get ready."

Jason cedes the Chess match to Ehko, and heads off to the 'persons room' to
change and gear up, satchel in hand.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Dalek has entered the building
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 02:16:01 GMT

>"Now, where can we mail-order that peanut turret from?"
>
>Headin' for that pool,
>			da wordster
>			Impu-Sebek

    "Hmm. I have one somewhere in Number 7 hold. Robbie can go get
it, provided he doesn't tickle !" Linda.

    "ulp. Are you certain ? Last time I ..." Robbie.

  Linda gives Robbie a stern look, and then smiles ... Robbie blinks
out. He is gone for several seconds and then re-appears... Holding a
peanut turret. He walks over and hands it to Impu-Sebek.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Subject: Re: Humor (was prejudice)
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 05:47:00 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <1992Dec12.201058.29153@netcom.com> henry@netcom.com (Henry Polard) writes:
>Can you think of a pun that does not arouse pain on the part of the
>hearer, or humor that is based neither on pain nor humiliation?

Yes.  I call it "Kumquat Humor."  Humor based on something so silly that you
just HAVE to laugh.  e.g.:

(Dang, this is hard)

So where were you?

Oh, I was captured by vulcans, who took me to the planet Locnar, where
they made me fill out complicated tax forms and insurance waivers, then
asked me about the state of corn in Zimbabwe, then they let me go.

OR:  (Dang, why didn't I think of this before?)

[This was something like the intro to a deliberative speech for a class
I took]

"It is early monday morning.  You stagger out of bed, wash your teeth and
brush your face, and manage to drag yourself to your first class, SP200.
While the speaker drones on about Euthanasia for Wolves in the Health Care
System, you read the Collegian [the campus paper]

"'My God,' You say, ' They've cut the underwater pie throwing team, what
am I gonna do with my saturday afternoons?'"

Now, if you can't find the humor there, I suggest you get a Marx Bro's
infusion quick.

Big Al.  Abrhams, Zucker, and Zucker wouldn't hurt either.
>
>BTW, what does <LOL, GD&R> mean?
>
> Henry Polard, | Your golden wine is sweet, my friend,   / from _Banished
>  Wordslinger  | come fill my cup with amber.           / Immortal_
>  Have Brains  | If we drink long enough together,      \ Visions of Li T'ai-Po
>  Will Travel  | we'll drown the loneliness of strangers \ Tr. by Sam Hamill
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Unbe Awakens
Date: 17 Dec 1992 01:42:09 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Distribution: world
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <104386@bu.edu>, mjmh@crsa.bu.edu (Michael J M Holmes) writes:
="The name '/*' actually came out of a conversation with one of
=my 'oldest and bestest' friends.  He and I were discussing sf, and
=I think we had just seen 'THX 1178' (or whatever that movie's title
=is - help!),

THX1138, I think.
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: will it work?
Date: 17 Dec 1992 23:35:21 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au
Keywords: who reads keywords anyway?

Jack.Crow@cardinal.sc107.wesleyan.edu (David Perry) writes:

>Hi, I just gotta see if this works.
>Got a new, news.reader,

Yep it worked - confused me for a sec, but it certainly worked.  Now, how
do I get to do that one my reader, I wonder.

Splash!

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
From: rowanf@crc.ricoh.com (Rowan Fairgrove)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: prejudice
Date: 16 Dec 92 19:51:33 GMT
Reply-To: rowanf@crc.ricoh.com (Rowan Fairgrove)
Organization: RICOH California Research Center

/* sez:

> "Anyway, he made a really strong case, and no one could
>come up with even one counter-example that didn't have
>at least some element of pain, or wasn't at someone's
>expense or humiliation."

I think there is a great deal of humor that is about expectations
and the absurd in every day life that doesn't come at anyone's
humiliation.

The only example I can think of off hand is a comedian who
was talking about children being different than adults.  Said 
something like: Y'know, things just change as you get older.
You never hear a child bending down going (extended groan)
<Oh, I dropped my marbles>  

I don't see this as being at the expense of either children or 
adults.  The attribution of unexpected behavior is what made it
funny.  Everytime I groan as I bend down (and I *do* groan)
I laugh.  And, in fact, I  observed my 4 year old imitate 
that groan and then I REALLY laughed.

Humor can also be a way to cope with pain.  Gallows humor
can be used to bring a situation out into the open in a way
that allow people to talk about hard issues.  I can't think of
a specific example right now.  But I am sure someone can.

Gypsy looks down at the soapboxes rising below her and
jumps down in a flutter of scarves.  <Sorry, this old
canard about the inevitable cruelty of humor is one of my
hobby horses.>  A purple hobby horse with scarves for
dagging appears and Gypsy hops on and rides away.

Rowan (Gypsy Woman)

Rowan Fairgrove

*****************************************
The wheel of the year is turning now.  The season of darkness stretches before us like a great and sunless sea.   Listen:  the stag bells, the summer has gone.  Winter winds blow wet and cold, the sun is low, short its course, the sea running high.  Deep red the bracken, its shape lost; the little wren finds no shelter for her nest; the wild goose has raises its familiar cry.
*****************************************
From: daq@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom)
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 16:26:33 GMT
Subject: Re: Utopiae (Was: Amanda wants to be a Kesh)
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: alt.callahans

In alt.callahans, aaron@atlantis.uucp writes:

> "Usenet access for everybody.  Since this is a utopia, we can even postulate
> either that everybody is worthwhile to talk to, or that those that aren't are
> given lesser degrees of access.  But this is utopia.

Do not fool yourself.  There is likely a HIGH percentage of the population
that would not want to waste their time in this manner.

> 
> "Nobody needs to work if they don't want to.  Many people do like to work, or
> don't know anything else to do, and they can work at whatever they want to do.
> But some people, like me, would rather just mess around all day with reading
> and/or writing, news reading, making databases at home, needlepoint, baking, or
> whatever.  There should be support for any kind of creative endeavour, so that
> anyone could get a book published, or a story, or a TV show or movie shown to 
> whoever will watch it.  In a non-ideal world, this would mean a lot of chaff,
> but this is utopia...

Why would Utopia be a place without stnadards of excellence?

doug
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Re: Feed + Finally, summer weather!
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 03:03:31 GMT

>Alfvaen sighs, mumbling to himself once again, "Beggars can't be choosers..."
>Then, in a louder voice, he says, "Well, it seems that the feed here is a bit
>strange.  I didn't think it would be, since it's direct from the U. of A. feed,
>which I almost always found satisfactory, but...today, on the 12th, I haven't
>seen anything from later than the 10th which I didn't post myself.  What's
>more, I just got a batch of 8 new posts--from Liralen, in Seattle, from the
>9th.  So if I seem to be a bit out of it, that's why.

Danger Mouse smiles at the newly returned Alfvaen. "You're lucky. I'm
still finding posts from the 4th of December showing up here today (14th).
And in no logical order - witness your post from Canada has come through
rather quickly.

"I think I've worked out what's happening. I seem to get a trickle of
new posts all week, then about a hundred or more all at once on Sunday
night, including lots of things from the entire past week, and also some
stuff from the week before. It seems to me that the machine which stores
posts here is flushed clean of expired posts only once a week and can
then use recovered disk space to collect all the posts it has had to pass
over during the previous week.

"Still, understanding what's going on doesn't make it any less
frustrating..."

DM orders a long glass of iced water from Mike.

"And yes, finally it is beginning to feel like summer here! I was afraid
that we might get a cold, wet Christmas, but it has warmed up nicely
today. About 30 C (86 F), and hopefully much hotter before the end of the
month!"

- Danger Mouse.
From: ajm@wag.caltech.edu (Abner J. Mintz)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: prejudice
Date: 17 Dec 1992 09:11:48 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: seurat.wag.caltech.edu


>Humor can also be a way to cope with pain.  Gallows humor
>can be used to bring a situation out into the open in a way
>that allow people to talk about hard issues.  I can't think of
>a specific example right now.  But I am sure someone can.

Abner nods.  "Just heard one a few days ago.  I think it's funny, but
there's definitely a few sharp edges to the joke ...

WARNING:  If you are easily offended, stop listening now!

'Did you hear that the gays in San Fransisco are organizing themselves
to defend each other from attack?  They're going to call themselves the
Pink Panthers!'"

Abner holds his chin and waits.
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Humor (was prejudice)
Date: 14 Dec 1992 19:37:22 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler) writes:

>"Plus, I think some people *deserve* pain and humiliation.  Some deserve
>*Plenty* of it.  

Uhhh ... I disagree.  I don't feel that _anybody_ deserves pain and
humiliation ... they might create it for themselves, but not deserve it,
no matter how much they inflict it on others.  IMHO, of course  :-)

>Impu-Sebek sits down, waves to Mike, and starts discussing his bar tab in low
>tones.  He looks like he could use a loan.

Now, about that tab ... might I help?

Splash!  (poor in RL, rich in VR!)

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
From: s892057@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU (Neale Wolfson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: I'm back!
Date: 14 Dec 1992 02:48:55 GMT
Organization: RMIT Computer Centre
NNTP-Posting-Host: minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au
Summary: I'm back again.
Keywords: Again?

   Hello there everyone!  As some of you know I've been OS on holidays for the
past month,  therefore I decided when I got back that 1342 articals are slightly
too many to catch up on.  :(

   Thank you those who congratulated me on my birthday!  Late is better than
never!  Especially Didi who seems to take delight in such things!

   Next to those callahan patron I met in England.  I've missed the posting
which has been sent care of the others.  Especially those who put up with me
and lent me floor space to sleep on (Thanks Rhodri and Simon!).

   Anything else,  not at the moment,  so a drink to those mentioned on me
please!

     (Oh Ohhhh!)

     The Wolf.
-- 
*    This post is brought to you by The Wolf (Neale Wolfson)               *
****************************************************************************
*  s892057@minyos.xx.rmit.oz  *** Full Time 3rd Year RMIT Computer Science *
*  s892057@yallara.cs.rmit.oz *** Somewhere in Melbourne, Australia        *
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Re: Aus RealSpace [Re: UK Realspace]
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 04:51:02 GMT

> [Dan'l:]
>(Say, DM, how do Aussie cops feel about rollerblades?  Am I going to be
>hassled in Sydney if I commute to work on blades?  Anyone in that area like
>outdoor skating?)

Danger Mouse looks puzzled. "The cops? I guess they might do something
if you were doing anything dangerous to bystanders. But no, I don't
think you're likely to be hassled by anyone. Lots of people here have
rollerblades, and I know one at least who comes in to uni on them.

"I have several friends who are quite keen on the sport. I mean to try
it myself some day."

A smile comes to DM's face as a thought hits him. "I'm not sure you'd
want to commute on blades though. If you're working at the Australia
Telescope National Facility in Epping, you should probably know there
are some mean hills around that area..."

- Danger Mouse.
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Party report
Date: 13 Dec 1992 05:20:35 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au
Keywords: fun

u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien Saunders) writes:

>bwinton@lagrange.uwaterloo.ca () writes:

>>"O.K. Splash, let me see if I got it yet..." says Blake, still dripping, as he takes several glasses of water from Mike, and walks over to Damien.

>><Splash>

>>"Was that close?  I try to be a quick study, but I don't always catch things the first time around."  Blake then whips his head
>>around quickley, ready to duck any liquid projectiles.
>Okay, Blake lets see how fast you are. Mike a pitcher of water.
>Damien throws the water at Blake. Will Blake dodge or will he get a pinto?
>Damien.

Splash RsOFL (Roll_s_ for those that are curious) "Well done Blake - I'm
impressed; now, how are you at dodging? (another Callahanian skill :-) )"

Splash!

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
	(aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@murdoch.edu.au)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: amanda@wam.umd.edu (Me again)
Subject: Amanda wants to be a Kesh
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 05:32:22 GMT

Under the stress and strain of finals and a not-too-traumatic breakup, Amanda
has pulled out some soothing reading - her prototype of a sane world, Ursula
K. LeGuin's _Always Coming Home_.  "I know at least *one* of the patrons here
is familiar with this work - if you haven't heard of it, all i can say is that
it's a slice of life with the only sane people i've ever met.  LeGuin invented
a future/alternate world with the most down-to-earth, centered, *reasonable*
people imaginable in it.  It's not a eutopia!  Eutopians are so *uptight*...
The Kesh don't think in terms of ideals and continua, i'm not going to speak
for them, just read the book.  Anyway, i really really feel like being Kesh, 
but there's no such thing as a lone Kesh...."  Amanda lapses into contemplation
of a whole people, a society with a strong bond and identity that nevertheless
does not inpinge upon the personhood of its members. 

"Now if only i could *find* the Valley...."

                             "To common sense!"

She throws the drink that some unnoticed patron pressed into her hand firewards,
where the glass does not shatter but begins to melt, eventually forming an
intruiging and quite attractive paperweight.

"Later..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
amanda@wam.umd.edu             Kesh at heart                  Amanda Babcock

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pope@physics.su.OZ.AU (The Nightstalker)
Subject: Re: Hi, i'm back...
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 07:38:20 GMT

In article <1992Dec8.143008.12813@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca> aaron@space.ualberta.ca writes:
>Mean Green Dancing Machine (aahz@netcom.com) wrote:
>[Regarding Amanda's return{not the Amanda with Ekho; the other one}]
>
>: <snort>  Of course we remember you: we don't have that many physics
>: majors in our midst (seems to be all astronomers ;-).  I find it
>: relatively easy to maintain my net.presence because I met my
>: ProblemOlderWoman here, and most of my friends are netters these days.
>: You might want to take a look at soc.singles or alt.romance.
>
>"Hey!  I'm a physics dude, although one who hopes to become a Comp. Sci. dude
>Real Soon Now..."

"Have you no ambition then?"

The Nightstalker...

--
Mick Pope,                                          |      "On Christ the
Sir Frank Packer Dept of Theoretical Physics,   ----|----   solid rock I
School of Physics, University of Sydney,            |       stand, all other
Sydney, Australia, 2006.  (02) 692 3241             |       ground is sinking
                                                    |       sand." - C. Wesley
Jesus is the reason for the season.                 | 
And the comment for today is:  
          
"Everything that exceeds the consumer's requirements is held violently"
                                -Thomas Aquinas
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Thyra)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Special Limited Offer!!!
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Date: 13 Dec 1992 20:40:04 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aaa.uoregon.edu

In article <1gbfb3INN3lq@smurf.sti.com>, alaric@sti.com (Alaric Tekiahyn)
wrote:
> 
> In article <JBrandt-101292090137@aaa.uoregon.edu>, JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Phoenix) writes:
> ] It reads "Hi, I still haven't figured out how to send e-mail without
> ] replying to something someone else sent me. Thyra relayed this for me. I
> ] would like to take you up on your offer. My e-mail address is
> ] <I3JW@PSUORVM.CC.PDX.EDU>
> 
> Alaric looks thoughtful...
> 
> "Now that's different from the address I got from you via email, which
>  was I3JW%PSUORVM.BITNET@cornellc.cit.cornell.edu.  Which address do
>  you prefer I use?
> "For that matter, has anything been coming through on the BITNET@cornellc
>  address?
> "For the time being, I'll switch you over to this PDX.EDU address.  Let
>  me know if it gets through OK, please..."

Thyra, who is still curled up on Blammor's lap, purrs at Alaric. "I'll
answer for Phoenix. Jason and Pegasus saw her on Saturday. She is getting
the relay now, and thanks you. <I3JW@PSUORVM.CC.PDX.EDU> is the preferred
address, I think, at least for now. That should be her account at PSU. The
other, I think, is her account a NW Computer Support. Best bet is to send
her an e-mail oth ways and ask her. Her account status will possibly be
changing soon. She may be dropping out at PSU, so she can spend more time
putting her family back together."

"GOOD NEWS! It looks like Phoenix may regain custody of her daughter,
Devon, within the next two weeks, and her son a few months from now once
his treatment schedule is worked out. She will relay a post soon with the
details."
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jason)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Danger Room
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Date: 15 Dec 1992 00:35:44 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aaa.uoregon.edu

In article <1992Dec14.202150.14307@data-io.com>, li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis
Rostykus) wrote:
> 
> 
> In article <JBrandt-131292111540@aaa.uoregon.edu> Jay Brandt wrote:
> 
> > Liralen and I, and a few others, also use it for martial arts workouts and
> > combat training.  Argent is a positively incredible automated training
> > droid. Sort of the ultimate sensi." He smiles at Liralen. "I may take you
> > up on that as soon as I am done with our chess game. I could use a good
> > workout. I've been inactive too long."
> 
> Liralen smiles back in response to Jason's smile.  "Me too," she says
> softly, "With this cold and the fact that we're between soccer seasons
> *and* the resent insanity of weather that's been going on, I haven't had a
> good game in too long a time."
> 
> At Ecko's study of Argent, Liralen only smiles to see someone appreciate
> the gift given to her with true understanding of what it is.  "Jilara gave
> it to me.  Somewhat based on the Terminator 2 technology, but programmed
> only to teach.  As Jason said, 'the ultimate sensei.'"
> 
> She bows to the two chess players and then says, "I'll meet you in the
> Danger Room whenever you're ready.  We'll keep the area by the door a safe
> area so there won't be any too-nasty surprises when you come in."  And
> Liralen and Argent head for the Danger Room.

Jason looks at Ehko. "Shall we call this a draw? We're running out of
pieces, which often happens in 8x8x8 chess, so we'll mire than likely
stalemate. Personally, I think I'd like to take Lira' up on her offer, but
I'll finish the game first if you prefer. Once we are done playing chess,
would you care to join us in a more active game?" Jason smiles, and his
eyes glaze over slightly with a silver-blue mirrored sheen.