HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: FA.TJM@forsythe.stanford.edu (thom mckean)
Subject: Re: The Second Move
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 20:35:14 GMT

In article <1992Apr15.184218.7839@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>,
kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>GCTHORNE@idbsu.idbsu.edu writes:
>
>>Angelwing says " a man will notice a woman's signals, that is
>>if his head isn't in the clouds ".
>>THERE'S the whole DAMN problem, wrapped up neatly. Women ASSUME.
>>Men don't. :) :) :)
>
>No, the problem is that women like Angelwing ask or expect _men_ to
>assume. They are friendly, the man assumes they are showing interest
>and asks them out, then they are brutally rejected because they didn't
>read the "signals" or the minds correctly.

No, the problem is with your assumption of rejection being "brutal."
I don't think the majority (or even a significant minority) of
rejections are brutal.  (Example of brutal rejection:  "HA!" Simple,
understated, yet harsh and to the point.  Or she could, without a
word, crush her cigarette out in your eye.)

If the woman has shown signs of being friendly, the rejection will
be a gentle one.

>>No wonder there's so many problems.
>Yes, there would be fewer problems if women tried to achieve real
>communication and not this vague read my signals stuff. Communication
>that included words.

Far fewer problems if folks just got offa their asses and took some
real initiative.  The results can be devastatingly wonderful.

Thom

Our life is at all times and before anything else the consciousness
of what we can do.
            - Jose Ortega y Gasset
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: The "first" "move" (was Re: A R C )
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 92 17:27:09 GMT

In article <65495@apple.Apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>In article <1992Apr14.213357.14304@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>>In article <65421@apple.Apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>>>So that's why they are aggressive ... they're looking for a sacrificial
>>>victim? But hey, might be fun, depending on what's being honored...
>>
>>Could be--now, being a minister myself, I tend to specialize in rites
>>involving the worship of the earthly incarnations of the goddess
>>Aphrodite, but being an atheist, this tends to involve a lot of lip
>>service.
>>
>Oh yes. And speaking in tongues, I presume?

Let's see...wasn't it Harpo Marx who said, "I wasn't kissing her, I was
just whispering into her mouth"?

>>>>Trygve    (What's a atheist to do?)  
>>>Lie back and think of England?
>>
>>But I'm tired of thinking of England--how about, just for a little
>>variety (at least I won't have to change the language), I lie back
>>and think of 'down under' instead?
>In that case you are likely to become possessed during the ceremony
>by the spirit of a kangaroo...

That's understandable--I've always had a certain fondness for some amount
of bouncing up and down.

Trygve    (Wanna know a secret?) 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Subject: WITHOUT FEATHERS
Originator: richh@tigger.jvnc.net
Organization: JvNCnet
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 16:32:41 GMT

intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing) writes:

>Well what I hadn't taken into account before was that maybe the reason
>that some of you men out there don't know how to read the signals is that
>women haven't been giving you any.  So how can you look to see who's
>flirting with you, who might be interested in you, when no one is?  

Well, I got this sneaking suspicion that the woman over there who just
crossed her legs, buttoned up her coat and spun around on her barstool
until her back was to me is actually kinda sorta sweet on me.  You think
I should put my hand on her shoulder and call her "hon"?
ya think?
ya think?

>There *is* a dilemma.  And now we have come fully circle to the physical
>attractiveness thread.  I suppose that's why, in nature, the males are the
>ones with the fancy plumage.  

>Angelwing - More feathers!!

"Hope is the thing with feathers."
                  --Emily Dickinson

RICHH
--more tar!
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: gamiddle@watmath.waterloo.edu (Guy Middleton)
Subject: Re: Older men and younger women (advice needed)
Organization: Waterloo of University
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 18:36:48 GMT

In article <1992Apr16.035746.6701@watdragon.waterloo.edu> jdnicoll@watyew.uwaterloo.ca (James Davis Nicoll) writes:
> 	Heh. I'm involved with someone a decade younger than me (Not 18, mind
> you) and it never occured to me to ask her parents' permission. In fact, we've
> sort of decided to delay having her parents meet me for a decade or ten, 
> since I max out on the 'likely to upset parents to point of cardiac arrest'
> scale.

Not because of any character flaw that James might have; he merely looks like
the Devil Himself.

 -Guy Middleton, University of Waterloo		gamiddleton@watmath.waterloo.edu
		(+1 519 885 1211 x3472)		gamiddleton@watmath.uwaterloo.ca
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jdnicoll@watyew.uwaterloo.ca (James Davis Nicoll)
Subject: Re: Older men and younger women (advice needed)
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 03:57:46 GMT

In article <1992Apr15.190102.24074@news.larc.nasa.gov> (DWS) writes:
>
	Context annihilated

>  What I mean is that if she were 18 and in college,
>I might consider asking her out with her parents' approval (though it would 
>still be a tough decision) .

	Heh. I'm involved with someone a decade younger than me (Not 18, mind
you) and it never occured to me to ask her parents' permission. In fact, we've
sort of decided to delay having her parents meet me for a decade or ten, 
since I max out on the 'likely to upset parents to point of cardiac arrest'
scale.

							James Nicoll
From: pw@panix.com (Paul Wallich)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Date: 8 Apr 92 15:34:46 GMT
Organization: (Ha!)

In article <92098.225411SXW103@psuvm.psu.edu> S. Wukovitz <SXW103@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>        Actually that brings up another practical good reason to not try
>and break up a relationship:  SHEESH did I find cool ways to make their
>lives miserable for a while... :-)  Anyone ever see _She-Devil_? :-)
>-Stephanie
>steph@math.cornell.edu
>tired cranky and burned out

Actually (from the other side of this), don't go out with anyone if
there's another person who even _thinks_ that they are already in a
relationship with you. Usually it's not so much the life of the
homewrecker that gets made miserable as that of the lying cheating
%^&$^#$%, whether they deserve it or not.

paul
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Date: 9 Apr 92 00:18:18 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Apr8.200024.27259@midway.uchicago.edu> pooh@group-w.uchicago.edu (Pooh @ the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen) writes:
=Sex is a very, very messy business 

Only if it's done right.

-- 
+=============================================================================+
| John Fereira                Al Bundy for President          
| johnf@auspex.com         "He's as good as the next guy"                     |
+=============================================================================+
From: intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: sense of humour (was Re: define attractiveness, i dare ya)
Date: 9 Apr 92 15:54:06 GMT
Article-I.D.: u.1992Apr9.155406.1366
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle

In article <jonb.7@> jonb@ writes:
>In article <1992Mar30.204412.13507@ait.com> eleanor@ait.com (Eleanor Evans) writes:
>>Angelwing, my hero!  I, too, found Ishtar hysterical.  I thought I
>>was alone <sob>, but then, along came Jones, oops, wrong song--I mean
>>Angelwing...
>
>And I thought *I* was the only one on this planet who appreciated the humor 
>in ISHTAR...  Good to find someone else with a sense of humor...
>
>Jon

Okay!  Cool.  ISHTAR party at my house Saturday night.  Bring your own
Tequila!

Angelwing - oh boy oh boy now we're gonna have some fun

*------------------------------------------------------------------*
* Angelwing       |"Two things are wanted by a true man, danger and*
* U. of Washington| play - therefore, he seeks woman as the most   *
*                 | dangerous toy."       Friedrich Nietzsche      *
*------------------------------------------------------------------*
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: The Unspread Gene <GCTHORNE@idbsu.idbsu.edu>
Subject:      Why? Bud Dry?
To: soc.singles.usenet
Reply-To: GCTHORNE@idbsu.idbsu.edu
Organization: DEC Palo Alto
Date:         Mon, 06 Apr 92 16:12:56 MST


        Personally I think Apples are rotten, but Mr ( Ms? ) anonymous
        has gifted us to untold wisdom. Why do women prefer jerks?

        After 2 years, I finally bow to Dan's knowledge. He's right.

        There. I've said it.

                       DAN IS RIGHT!

        The jerk gets the girl. Survival of the fittest.
        He is more capable of supporting the offspring. Evolution.

        Why?    Because   DAN IS RIGHT!

        He's right. You win DAN! WIN WIN WIN.
        The Alpha male rules. All else lose.

        Why?  Bud Dry?  I think I'll buy.  At least once before I die!
        It caught my eye. Goddamn, I'm a lucky guy! Did Apple lie?
        His throat was dry. I caught a sigh. He *must* be high.
        I *have* to try.

        Why? Why? Why?  Who Cares?, sez I.

        Get off the stick, nice guy. Evolve or Die.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 92 18:19:31 GMT

In article <1992Apr8.153446.21990@panix.com> pw@panix.com (Paul Wallich) writes:
>
>Actually (from the other side of this), don't go out with anyone if
>there's another person who even _thinks_ that they are already in a
>relationship with you. Usually it's not so much the life of the
>homewrecker that gets made miserable as that of the lying cheating
>%^&$^#$%, whether they deserve it or not.

I don't know about this one--I've already had a couple of women decide
that they were in relationships with me even though I didn't know them.
The most recent one was someone I met while leaving a party who apparently
dated me for some time without my knowing about it (or, indeed, having
any contact with her at all), and I only found out about it when she
called me a few months later and broke up with me.  (I took it very well,
said we could still be friends, and wished her good luck in her new
relationship, which was with someone she hadn't actually met yet, but
had been told about by a Tarot reader.)

Trygve    (And we can only speculate on how many men out there think
           they're in a relationship with Angelwing.)
From: margoli@watson.ibm.com (Larry Margolis)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Hooters
Date: 14 Apr 92 17:26:20 GMT
Reply-To: margoli@watson.ibm.com
Organization: The Village Waterbed
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM

In  <1992Apr14.080241.20818@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>  kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>
> It only seems that way if you equate 'tremendous' with 'large'.

Not necessarily, but I believe that's how this thread began...

Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Subject: Re: lying to oneself (was Re: Sanctity of relationships)
Originator: richh@tigger.jvnc.net
Organization: JvNCnet
Distribution: world,soc
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 16:14:38 GMT

intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing) writes:

>In article <1992Apr09.222806.13166@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.ibm.com writes:
>>
>>I might as well chime in here.  I had one girlfriend that went for a
>>photo shoot.  I knew that she had fooled around with the photographer
>>previously.  When I picked her up from his place, I asked her "Did you
>>fuck him?"  She said "No."  Later that night, when I discovered that
>>she had been lying, I asked her why she lied to me, and her response was
>>that she wasn't lying, she didn't think I was asking seriously.

>Oh but Larry, the *burning* question here ... what millions of people are
>dying to know is just HOW did you discover she was lying?  

Our guess is someone leaked it.

RICHH
From: swt@vax5.cit.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: The "first" "move" (was Re: A R C )
Date: 13 Apr 92 09:45:43 EDT
Distribution: soc
Organization: Cornell University

In article <1992Apr13.072816.27947@wam.umd.edu>,
tedwards@wam.umd.edu (technopagan priest) writes: 
> In article <1992Apr8.004330.19767@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>>However, I think it's easy to prove the existence of women who would
>>be considered to be making the first move--in the last year, I've been
>>to a few SF cons and to the local renaissance faire and at each of
>>these events, I've had more women approach me and initiate conversations
>>than I could keep track of.
> 
> Yep...all the aggressive women are at cons...my most recent ex SO
> (went out 2.5 years) I met at a con...she molded the circumstances so
> I would drive her home, and later asked me out.  She _would_ call you
> up and say "hey you with the blinders on...."
> 
> So it just goes to show, if you want to meet aggressive women,
> put on a tunic, buy a big sword, read up on wicca, and march right
> over to your local SciFi/Fantasy convention or medievalist society.
> 
> -Tom
> 

I don't think all the aggressive women are at cons; it's just that those
of us who hang around with SF/fantasy/SCA/Starfleet/computer types have
developed aggressive habits to give ourselves at least a ghost of a chance
of actually getting to date once in a while!  Men who pursue these types
of activities often do so because their 'real world' social skills are
not in the Olympic league.  Women such as myself who find intelligence,
creativity, and eccentricity appealing have had to come to terms with the
fact that we may have to do the approaching, the asking, the... well.

I don't mind.  It comes pretty naturally to me anyway.  

			--Beth

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
swt@VAX5.CIT.CORNELL.EDU|"Watch what you say, they'll be calling you a radical,
			| A liberal,
			| Fanatical, criminal..."  -- Supertramp
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: Larry Margolis <margoli@watson.ibm.com>
Subject: Re: Another gem!  (on changing and being authentic)
Date: Thu, 09 Apr 1992 19:45:50 GMT
Reply-To: margoli@watson.ibm.com
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: The Village Waterbed

In  <1992Apr9.154734.25684@gvl.unisys.com>  liz@gvlf9-j.gvl.unisys.com (Liz Loquacious [Bradley]) writes:
>
> True, I've got that wild side too you know....and that's so much fun!

Really?  You're the one that called off the challenge...  :-)

> >I don't think she really showed you how to attain world peace and inner peace
> >and fill the hole in the ozone layer at the same time.
>
> Course not, that I charge for. :-)

Attaining world peace, or filling the hole?

> Back to getting loquacious about my dating mis-adventures!

Am I in trouble?

Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
From: sog@craycos.com (Steve Gombosi)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: The "first" "move" (was Re: A R C )
Date: 8 Apr 92 15:37:02 GMT
Article-I.D.: craycos.1992Apr8.153702.2107
Organization: Cray Computer Corporation

In article <1992Apr7.212354.25236@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu> kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing) writes:
>>GCTHORNE@idbsu.idbsu.edu writes:
>>>
>>>        Alison Rebecca Colman errors with
>>>
>>>                " There are *plenty* of aggressive women willing
>>>                  to make the first move "
>>>
>>>      At last. Somebody more deceived than me.
>>Oh pooh Broward!  There ARE lots of aggressive women willing to make the
>
>In order to determine who is right and who is wrong, we must fist
                                                              ^^^^

Now *THAT'S* aggressive!

Steve
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tedwards@wam.umd.edu (technopagan priest)
Subject: Re: The "first" "move" (was Re: A R C )
Organization: University of Maryland at College Park
Distribution: soc
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 09:42:33 GMT

In article <1992Apr13.094543.11657@vax5.cit.cornell.edu> swt@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
>In article <1992Apr13.072816.27947@wam.umd.edu>,
>tedwards@wam.umd.edu (technopagan priest) writes: 
>> Yep...all the aggressive women are at cons...my most recent ex SO
>> (went out 2.5 years) I met at a con...she molded the circumstances so
>> I would drive her home, and later asked me out.  She _would_ call you
>> up and say "hey you with the blinders on...."

>I don't think all the aggressive women are at cons; it's just that those
>of us who hang around with SF/fantasy/SCA/Starfleet/computer types have
>developed aggressive habits to give ourselves at least a ghost of a chance
>of actually getting to date once in a while!  Men who pursue these types
>of activities often do so because their 'real world' social skills are
>not in the Olympic league.  Women such as myself who find intelligence,
>creativity, and eccentricity appealing have had to come to terms with the
>fact that we may have to do the approaching, the asking, the... well.

I think the SF/fantasy/etc. crowd is also made up of people who aren't
into societal roles...the guys don't want to be traditional
"guys," the women don't want to be traditional "women," so there
is alot of soul searching about appropriate gender roles...

Of course your answer is probably more than 80% correct...

>I don't mind.  It comes pretty naturally to me anyway.  

Good for you!  

-Tom
From: ps3p+@andrew.cmu.edu (Peter A. Simon)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Paying for things on the first date (Help!)/NP personals
Date: 11 Apr 92 20:16:06 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Senior, Civil Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA


little 'e' writes:

>But spending $30-$50 extra each week is going to put me in
>massive debt really soon.  So what should I do?

Cheaper things.  Why dinner?  My first dates are usually at an art
museum.  That way nobody's stuck with trying to figure out the next
thing to say OR the bill.  Then, if appropriate, a dollar cup of coffee
at a cafe (free refills).  

I'm not out to impress anybody with my money, of which I have none, or
the savoir faire I can demonstrate in ordering a meal in a French
restarunt, something which I do very well.  I'd rather deal with things
of substance lightly, like hearing someones interpretation of a
painting, or observe their reaction to the music at a free outdoor
concert, through which I can get to know their soul, and they mine.

The rest, except for sexual compatility if it comes to that, is shit.

Peter
From: terra@reed.edu (Terra Goodnight)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: How to meet girls?
Date: 17 Apr 92 20:31:14 GMT
Article-I.D.: reed.1992Apr17.203114.887
Organization: Reed College, Portland OR

In article <1992Apr16.181401.13648@wam.umd.edu> asp@wam.umd.edu (??) writes:
>I'm 18 and this is my first year here at school.  I haven't met many girls and
>the I just don't seem to appeal to the ones I have.  I think I seem like a 
>decent guy.  I think I care alot and listen well.  What is a good way to meet
>girls and get this point across to them.  
>
>Todd

Get involved in something that will allow you to spend a lot of time with many
girls you're potentially interested in, this way they'll get to know you as 
part of the activity & won't think you're trying to make advances.  Say for
example, a volunteer group that goes out & helps in homeless shelters or a
group that tutors low-income kids-whatever, choose the type of thing you're
into & you'll meet girls with similar interests.  Or if you're not into things
like that, then just take a lab class & try to get a female lab partner-you
might end up working late hours together writing up the reports.  Get a job
at a relatively cool place on campus (cafe or bookstore or something like that
where the workers appear relatively cool) & you'll end up working side by side
with girls who might be attracted to you once they spend some time with you.

Basically, don't do any of the things that were contained in that long list
somebody posted--i.e., cop an attitude, get an earring, treat them like shit,
etc...Maybe I speak for a small minority, but some of us chicks ain't THAT
stupid & we can tell when guys are totally pretending to be something they're
not just to look more desirable.  Well, ok, one of his points is well-taken:
DON'T BE A PUPPY DOG!, if you start seeing someone, don't always be the one
that makes the phone calls, don't harass her if she says she has to study
Friday night.  She might be shy, but if she doesn't return your calls or she
starts making feeble excuses, it's probably not because she's shy, but rather
that she finds you either too sickeningly attentive, or easy to manipulate.

Good Luck
Terra
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: The "first" "move" (was Re: A R C )
Organization: Indiana University
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 92 10:42:41 GMT

FA.TJM@forsythe.stanford.edu (thom mckean) writes:

>What if the date is set up by a third party?  Ya know, one of those
>"Oh, I've got a friend you should meet" kinda thangs.  Is the third

Huh. Well, either there isn't a first move, or the next move (whoever
asks for the second date) becomes the first move. 

>And if there is a third party, why wasn't I invited to the first two?

Cause your mind is too highly developed. :-)

>Extrapolating from this, if two people meet at a party, is the
>person throwing the party responsible for bringing those two

No, the people would still not see each other again, unless one
asks the other out.

>If I'm promised to another at birth, did my parents make the first move?

In this case, if the arrangement is in fact followed up on, there is
clearly no first move. Of course, if you were promised at birth, you 
hardly need be concerned with things like love, romance, dating, and
other such soc.singles topics.

-- 
"The truffle is not an outright aphrodisiac, but it may in certain
 circumstances make women more affectionate and men more amiable."
                                                ...Brillat-Savarin

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com (Software Dude)
Subject: Needing not to Need
Organization: WHAT?
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 20:47:32 GMT

 <34EQGRV@CMUVM.CSV.CMICH.EDU> screams up to the sky:
>HELP

	PuterMan flies thru the air as PuterDog's SuperEars here's 
a cry for help. Using his jaws, he tugs PuterMan's purple cape.
	"What is it, boy? Eastern airlines again? Is Paul Tsongas
changing his mind again? Is drieux, just drieux been after you to
do the dance of love?"
	PuterDog, tired of PuterMan's babbling steers him toward
the ground to where 34EQGRV@CMUVM.CSV.CMICH.EDU is standing. He
lands with a bellyflop upon the ground in front of he/she. After
PuterDog brings PuterMan back around by licking all over his face,
PuterMan says...
	"You called for help? And what kind of name is 34EQGRV@
CMUVM.CSV.CMICH.EDU, anyway? Is the 'C' silent when I pronounce it?"
--
Puter	puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com "My favorite vanity plate - PHUQUE"
Newsgroups: soc.singles