From: hawthorne!bill@uunet.UU.NET (Bill McDaniel)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: ATWT:  Pimp-slap
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 93 14:15:35 EST

From St. Crystal's post:

>> >Dances with Oilman (Lyla) needs to be Pimp-Slapped.  She needs to be
>>  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>> 
>>Now this nickname really cracked me up. That was truly inspired McDano. I
>> haven't had a good laugh like that in a long time.

>        Yeah, the parodytitle is verrrry clever.  But, prithee, McDano,
just
>what the HELL is "pimp slapping" & WHY does Lilabird DESERVE it??? Huh??

>        Meanwhile, my sympathies lie with the Navaho.  Talk about having
>been "pimp-slapped"!!!!  (Plus, dudes like Cal deserve to lose once in a
while)

A pimp-slap is what a pimp does to his "girls" to keep them in line.  Its
just where you really haul off and knock the living heck out of someone.
DancesWithOilman deserves it because she is being unbearably pig-headed.
Also, since Pal comes from the Caveman school of how to treat women
(he probably thinks June Cleaver was a liberated woman) it seems 
appropriate that he do this. 

And then another country was heard from:

>Who is Squinty?
>
>Sharon

Squinty was an early nickname for Marcy Breen, before we figured out what
a Merciless Ho' she really is (boy, do I miss her)

And, of course, BaByDoLl:

>HIYA, KIDS .................... HIYA ..................
>
>Dances with Oilman -- Could we please have a round of applause
>for this one.  Ya know, McDano, I don't care what those two
>women at Purdue said about you, I think you are VERY clever and
>kinda cute.
>
Wait a minute, which two women?  Don't confuse me like this BaByDoLl, my
poor little brain can't take it.  BTW, thanks for the compliment.  Have
you ever seen "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" where the girl deer
shmoozes up to Rudolph?
"She thinks I'm cute!  She thinks I'm cute!"  accompanied by lots of
jumping around.
You get the idea.
>
>Gotta run.  I volunteered to model the new hospital gowns today ....
>
And you looked smashing.  Where did you find a gold fishnet gown with
buttons and rhinestones sewed all over the front?  Did BRO open a
boutique in the ward?

Finally, I'll give this one a shot (thank you, IGoT):

>1) What was the name of the man whose baby Marcy Breen aborted?
>
Gregory Noble
>
>2) What was the name of Betsy and Steve's daughter?
>
Danny
>
>3) Who was Betsy and Steve's daughter named after?
>
Dan Stewart(?)
>
>4) What is the name of Tom and Margo's song?
>
They had a song?
>
>5) What is Hal and Barbara's song?
>
"Wind Beneath My Womb...er, Wings"
>
>6) Who was in the delivery room with Sierra when Bryant was born?
>
Tonio
>
>7) Josh Landry beat up Tonio Reyes outside whose hotel room?
>
Meg's(?)
>
>8) Where did Holden and Julie make love the night Aaron was conceived?
>
Sleaza's couch
>
>9) Which of the following men has Emily Stewart NOT slept with?
>   (HINT: There may be more than one answer)
>       a) Kirk Anderson
>       b) Andy Dixon
>     *  c) Royce Keller
>     *  d) Gavin (Bloody) Kruger
>     *  e) Brock Lombard
>       f) Duncan McKechnie
>     *  g) Tonio Reyes
>     *  h) Paul Ryan
>     *  i) Holden Snyder
>     *  j) James Stenbeck
>     *  k) Evan Walsh
>       l) EtTuMike
>       m) Jeep
>     ******  n) McDano  (I can dream)
>
Boy, that's quite an impressive list.  That girl gets around.  I never
realized until I saw it in glowing red letters.
>
>10) What was the topic of the very first Patterns show?
>
"Flaring nostrils--Social Disease or Fashion Statement?"
>

One last comment:
Fluffy Sheep Woman, please don't take offense at anything said on the ward.
You'll notice about 5-10 misspelled words (at least) in this post.  Typos
happen, and Navajo had been misspelled in about 5 posts before yours so
it was  probably just a reminder for the ward.  Now come on back and play.

McDano 

*  Bill McDaniel                       "Its a shame when the new           *
*  bill%hawthor.uucp@uunet.uu.net       president has to wear rented       *
*  A cold misplaced Southern boy        bowling shoes."                    *
*  Y'all need some heat up north        -Mike Tirico, ESPN                 *
*  As far as I can tell there's no one who cares about my opinions anyway  *