From: tlb2665@usl.edu (Burleigh Thomas L)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: ST:USS Cavalier, Chapter 18, "Personal Log"
Date: 5 Oct 92 15:06:31 GMT
Organization: University of Southwestern Louisiana


(C) Copyright 1992 by Thomas L. Burleigh. The following are the property
of Paramount Pictures, Inc: the characters of William T. Riker, Jean-Luc
Picard, D'Tan, and Spock; the Borg, Romulan, and Vulcan races; the
StarFleet organization; and, the USS Enterprise. This story is an original
work of fiction base on Star Trek: The Next Generation, a registered
trademark of Paramount. All rights reserved.

                         ST:USS Cavalier
                           Chapter 18
                         "Personal Log"

     "Operations Chief-of-Staff's Personal Log. It is with a
tormented heart in which I note that today I have probably
irrevocably turned a long time friend into a bitter personal enemy.
     "Today, in what I choose to call a "command performance", I
was made to degrade and humilate Will Riker for seriously exceeding
the scope of his mission on the USS Cavalier. It was all very
well, they said, that Riker was so victorious against the Borg;
and, that he brought us very useful information about them, as well
as developments in the Romulan empire. But, they continued, we
can't have starship captains acting as renegades! My own arguments
- indeed, my own examples - had fallen on deaf ears. I even risked
their tempers in suggesting that if they didn't want alot of power
in the hands of a lower ranking individual, maybe we should stop
using starships all together!
     "If only I could have told Will how proud I am of him...
     "If only reasonable voices could prevail here at StarFleet
Headquarters.."
     "Ha, I am catching myself engaging in 20/20 hindsight in my
later years.  A really serious pity - as this is something I spent
my life trying to prevent.
     "Yet, in my move up in power, I had to form personal alliances
with other members of StarFleets High Command. (Some who I would
just as soon ignore!) I never realized how short-sized, micro-
managing, power-hungry, and hot-headed these rank-and-file zealots
are! But, I can't bring myself to break the cycle. I need their
support - not just to do my job; but, to give voices of reason and
progress a chance."
     Admiral Jean-Luc Picard set down the cup of Earl-Grey tea on
his desk. The expression on his face was long and haggard. 
Looking out his window, peering at the stars outside of his room,
he fought back a tear he felt building up. He continued..
     "However, I cannot undo the crimes I have committed.  Oh, the
people I have betrayed, the malicious decision I had to enforce!
Even, the lifes that have been lost because of my being trapped
here....
     "Yet, now I am too old and set in my ways. I must remain here in
this Hell if Good has any chance of prevailing. As I a get nearer
to my death I pray for those souls - that they may have found peace
in the afterlife...
     "But prayer would be wasted on me. As I have little hope - and even
less energy - to continue my fight here at StarFleet, I see no alternative
but to turn in my resignation as soon as I can. And to hope that those I
have wronged will one day forgive me. Especially, Will..."

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