From: EPSTEIN@ksuvm.ksu.EDU (Emily Epstein)
Subject: Kids
Organization: The Internet
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 21:31:00 GMT

From Alix Mont de fer unto the good folk of the Rialto, greeting.

William de Corbie wrote:
>The question is: what in heavens name shall we do with these kids?
>Any suggestions are welcome.

When the Shire of Spinning winds had a similar problem a few years ago,
I (the Chatelaine) posted a similar query. I received some excellent and
thoughtful answers, many from folk who are no longer on the Rialto, or just
not posting. If you want to read the original messages in the archives, I
believe most have the subject line "Problem children." The shire implemented
some specific policies based on this advice, and they've worked pretty well.

Fortunately, Spinning Winds is an hospitable place and everyone helps newcomers
fit in, so the job doesn't swamp my deputy and me. Most initiation is informal,
though we have called emergency officers' meetings to deal with specific
situations as they arose.

We act on assumptions similar to what Owain and Mikjal have posted, treating
the newcomers as young adults, not children. The SCA is not daycare, after all.
We try to take young people's lack of life experience into account and explain
what is expected pretty thoroughly, especially safety rules and aspects of The
Dream(tm) such as courtesy and honor. We try to make it clear that the age
limits and extra paperwork for minors are not aimed at them personally, but
exist society-wide for practical mundane reasons. We explain what the SCA is
and what we do, what activities are available in shire, and how they can get
involved. We try to get them together with folk who share their particular
interests, can help them with names, personas, clothing, etc. -- pretty much
the same as we do with any newcomer.

The kids with the maturity to handle themselves in an adult milieu and the
interest to play our particular game become valued members of the shire. Those
who need supervision and entertainment select themselves out pretty quickly.
Age isn't necessarily a determining factor. (The most difficult "problem child"
I can think of was over 21). There are only a couple of measures we have taken
specifically for underage members.

If you deal with minors, you're dealing with their parents, and any parent
worthy of the title cares what his/her child gets into. We urge non-university
minors coming in to bring at least one to a meeting. If the parents don't
come to us, shire officers contact them at home to make sure they know who we
are and what we do. We give them a phone number and generally reassure them
that their kid is not getting involved with some secret society/nut cult. This
may be less of a problem in Europe than in the American midwest (a.k.a. the
Bible Belt).

One advantage to direct contact with parents-- it makes deception easier to
spot. Most kids are honest and honorable, but the ones who aren't can be pretty
good at it. The parents of one young person forbade her to associate with us.
She attended meetings on the sly, lied to them and us, forged a signature on a
waiver for an out-of-town event ... Luckily, we found out what was going on and
sent her away before we had serious trouble, but the potential was there.

Due to peculiar laws in the U.S. and Kansas, any adults at a gathering where
minors consume liquor can be in trouble, and several of our members' careers
could be ruined if such trouble arises. We discussed it at length, and since
nobody wanted to spend the evening policing the wine, all official shire revels
have been dry for the last few years. Private postrevels are wet.

Except for these two policies, we treat teenagers as any other new members.
We've never had anyone younger than 13 join without an older family member,
but we try not to segregate activities by age. We have active members under the
age of 8 who contribute a lot to Spinning Winds. (They get rave reviews at
demos too).

I hope you find this of some use.

In service,

                         <=========>
Alix Mont de fer          |=======|
    (Emily Epstein)       |* * * *|
Shire of Spinning Winds    XXXXXXX
    (Manhattan, KS)         VVVVV
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epstein@ksuvm.ksu.edu         |
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                           XXXXXXX