From: seedman@IASTATE.EDU (Varanus Komodensis)
Subject: Repost: The Herp Fairy Tail 
Reply-To: seedman@IASTATE.EDU (Varanus Komodensis)
Organization: Iowa State University
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 21:19:57 GMT

	With the advent of the "Re: Handling rats & Burmese" thread, I 
think it time to repost the Herp Fairy Tail.  My apologies to those who
have read it before, but read it again.  It is humorous, but has an 
important moral...

============================================================================

	Now close your eyes and listen to my tale. Then again
you had better open your eyes so you can read this.  This is
a fairy tale that was told at the January 1992 meeting of the
Iowa Herpetological Society.  If you have a good imagination
try to picture this story as it happens in your mind.


	Once upon a time, there was this herpetologist.  His
name is unimportant, so we'll leave it out, but he had a
number of years experience with herps.  Now, our
herpetologist had many reptiles in his collection, to
include:  Pythons, boas, an American Alligator, several
lizards, and a Gila Monster.  (nice collection)
	Anyway, one day our herpetologist was feeding his Gila
Monster.  This Gila was in a 20 gallon long aquarium, and
must have been asleep.  Our herpetologist dangled a rat in
front of the Gila and the Gila didn't move.  Now, this Gila
had been known to be a little slow on the uptake, so our
herpetologist started hitting the Gila on the head with the
rat to wake it up.  Needless to say this got the Gila's
attention.
	The Gila lunged for the rat, but missed of course.  So
the herpetologist moved the rat down to the other end of the
cage to bait the Gila a bit.  Now our herpetologist
distracted in some way, whether it was a passing thought or a
movement in another area of the room, is not known.  If the
newspapers got a hold of this, they would say, "The Gila
Monster saw his opportunity and viciously attacked this poor
gentleman", I'll just say that the Gila went for the rat,
missed and grabbed our herpetologist's finger.
	Our herpetologist reacted with the same reaction that
just about anyone would have when bitten on the finger by a
Gila Monster, he yanked his arm out of the cage as quickly
as he could.  Now, if any of you out there are familiar with
lizards, you know that once they have a hold on their food
the last thing they want to do is let go of it.  This Gila
waited until the he was about 6 feet in the air at the end
of our herpetologists arm to let go.
	Now we have our herpetologist bleeding and
envenomated, and a Gila Monster soaring through the air
with, surprisingly, the greatest of ease.  Now are you
familiar with Murphy's Law?  Anything that can go wrong,
will.  Well there's a corollary to that law that says, If
something goes wrong, it goes wrong all the way.  This law
applies here.
	Our flying Gila Monster chose the wrong landing strip
as most first time fliers do.  He landed in the large tank with
the American Alligator.  Now, if you know alligators,
anything that enters their cage is immediately considered
food, wether its a food bowl, a keeper's bodily appendage, a
broom, or even a very irate Gila Monster.  So, we now have,
a very distressed, bleeding, envenomated herpetologist, a
very pissed off Gila monster, and a very happy American
Alligator busily beating his lunch (the Gila) against the side 
of the tank and holding it under water, trying to drown it.
	Our herpetologist was presented with a dilemma.  He
really didn't want to reach into the tank and try to take
the alligators food away from him, let alone grab that Gila
monster bare handed.  Looking at his surrounding, in a burst
of MacGyverism, he spotted a Rubbermaid Roughtote container.
He used the lid from it to hold the alligator's head still.
The alligator went for a better hold, and our herpetologist
was able to get the lid between the alligator and the Gila.
This is good, progress, now what.  Ah-Hah!  Using the lid as
a scoop, our herpetologist flipped the Gila up out of the
tank onto the floor of the room.
	Now, we have a very tired, envenomated, bleeding
herpetologist standing there bleeding, an unhappy American
alligator who had just lost his lunch, and an extremely
agitated Gila Monster dripping wet on the floor.  Our
herpetologist found a leather welding glove, picked up the
Gila Monster, who unbelievably was not harmed physically,
and put it back in its aquarium.  It was then that our
herpetologist, who had just decided to start breathing again,
noticed that his hand was swelling up.
	Our herpetologist quickly called a fellow
herpetologist, who agreed to come over quickly.
Fortunately, our herpetologist only experienced swelling of
the hand up to the wrist, some sharp stabbing pains in the
palm area, and a general feeling that his hand was a
pincushion for a few hours.
	
	Not a very happy ending, but they all lived.

MORAL OF THE STORY #1 ::  Don't ever try to take food from
an alligator.

MORAL OF THE STORY #2 ::    We as human beings have a
tendency to become confident after doing something
repeatedly without difficulty.  Sometimes we become over
confident.  We, as herpetologists, can't afford to do that.
With the media the way it is, when one of us has a problem,
it affects all of us.


				Let's be careful out there.

				-=- Seedman, off his soapbox.