From: pleeper@wtcp.DaytonOH.NCR.COM (Paulette Leeper)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: How to get daughter more career-minded?
Date: 28 Sep 92 20:35:15 GMT
Organization: IRP Corporate Data Planning - Dayton, OH

<1992Sep28.160918.12999@engage.pko.dec.com>
Reply-To: pleeper@wtcp.DaytonOH.NCR.COM (Paulette Leeper)
Followup-To: 
Distribution: 
Organization: IRP Corporate Data Planning - Dayton, OH
Keywords: 

In article <1992Sep28.160918.12999@engage.pko.dec.com> pub@riscee.pko.dec.com
(Publius) writes:

>We have a 4 years old daughter who is really bright.  Her preschool
>teacher, an elderly lady, told us that in her many decades of
>experience as a preschool teacher, she has only met two preschoolers
>this bright.  No need to say that we have great hope for her.
>Maybe, we think, she will become a great lawyer upholding the rights
>and the liberty for many; or at least, she can be a doctor relieving
>the pains and the sufferings of the sick.  

Or a great parent who raises happy, healthy children who have a high
self-esteem.
>
>Then, a few weeks ago, I took her to the doctor for her regular
>checkup.  On our way back, I asked her: "Do you want to be a
>doctor when you grow up?"  Her answer shocked me.  "No," she said
>"I want to get married."

As I'm responding to this post, I am having a hard time trying
to decide whether or not this is a hoax.  Why is it so shocking
for a 4 YEAR OLD to respond in this way?  After all, this 
discussion can not be equated with the college-aged 
equivalent, "What do you want to major in?"  

  "But you can be a doctor and get married
>too" I tried to tell her that there is really no conflict here.

Absolutely NO conflict?  

>I have no idea where she picked up that concept.  Knowing its
>implied message, we have banned "Little Mermaid" video tape from
>our household.  Instead, we read her books like "Doctor Hilda made
>the house call" and the likes.  Whenever possible, we always find
>her a female pediatrician in the hope that she has a good role model.

Perhaps you ought to watch the film, "Dead Poet's Society," a 
few times.  It's conclusion centers on this very theme...parents
want their bright son to become a doctor, and are totally non-
accepting of any of HIS interests.  Doesn't what SHE wants have
any bearing here?  I doubt if she will be the great doctor,
"relieving the pains and sufferings of the sick," if, the only
reason she became a doctor was to please her parents.  Such
greatness comes from THE HEART, not from parental meddling.  

>But despite all of these conscious efforts on our part, she 
>obviously picked up some other ideas.

If she is truly as bright as you say, she will continue to 
"pick up" lots of "other" ideas that do not come directly from
her parents.  Get used to it.

>Any suggestion for us to turn the things around? 

Yeah, love her unconditionally.  That's the best
role model you can give her.  And, in the meantime,
if you still want a doctor in the family, enroll in
medical school YOURSELF!

Please respond via email, as I will be out of touch with the net
for about a week.


-- 
Paulette Leeper                               paulette.leeper@daytonOH.NCR.COM
NCR Corporate Data Planning & Admin              ...!uunet!ncrcom!wtcp!pleeper
++++++++++++++++513-445-6289   VP 622-6289   FAX 513-445-2468+++++++++++++++++