HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Subject: Re: The ungrateful dead (grass doesn't kill)
Reply-To: warren@nysernet.org
Organization: Mail to News Gateway at Wang Labs
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 04:35:39 GMT

In <H2y4VB4w165w@codewks.nacjack.gen.nz> system@codewks.nacjack.gen.nz (Wayne McDougall) writes:
>   [Uninteresting point - what is the lethal dose of a black hole?]

Please support the war on black holes.  Send your black holes to Craig
Shergold at ...
-- 
/|/-\/-\       In real life, the Vice President chastises Murphey Brown
 |__/__/_/     for her morals.  Bill Clinton plays the sax on "Arsenio
 |warren@      Hall."  Though "Batman Returns" is fiction, it's not too
/ nysernet.org much stranger than truth - Caryn James, The New York Times
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: hoey@AIC.NRL.Navy.Mil (Dan Hoey)
Subject: Re: Licking the bars
Organization: Naval Research Laboratory, Washington, DC
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 22:42:33 GMT

jonathan@vort.cuc.ab.ca (Jonathan Levine) writes:

> Getting your tongue frozen to a piece of metal outdoors in the winter is
> comonly known as "licking the bars".  The origin is schoolchildren, as
> the bars referred to are those comprising the fence around the schoolyard.

A kid I knew in high school claimed to have done this, but I had a
hard time believing he was that stupid.  I suspected he was using it
as a cover story for lesions due to some even more embarrassing stunt
but I couldn't imagine what it could possibly be.

But it does happen, according to an article I read earlier this very
winter, probably in Harper's.  This story had a happy ending, though,
because the child's father was there, and thinking quickly, freed the
child's tongue with only minor damage by urinating on it.  The doctor
commended his quick thinking.  The kid was not available for comment.

> BTW, how widespread is knowledge of "the dogpile"?  

They soothe them by licking, too.  Dog saliva is reputed to have
enormous healing powers and dogs' tongues reach places you and I can
only imagine.

Dan Hoey
Hoey@AIC.NRL.Navy.Mil
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc,talk.bizarre
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: Walking Between Rain Drops !!!!
Organization: The Ohio State University
 <1992Dec22.193935.570236@locus.com>
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 23:42:31 GMT

In article <1992Dec22.124010.8232@news.columbia.edu>,
bs24@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Bruce Sarte) writes:
>
>	Thank you, damn, I could get down and just kiss your Rosey
							     ^
>	Red Rectum !!!!  I knew there would be an asshole out there
        ^   ^

I'll give Bruce the benifit of the doubt that he didn't
know he was posting to a.f.u., and was unaware that
alliteration is frowned upon.  However, ignorance is no
excuse, so send two fifty in fine to:

Master Craig Shergold
Make a Wish Foundation
Atlanta, Georgia

ObUL:  The Center for Disease Control, Atlanta, Ga., will change
name to the Center for Disease Prevention and Control,
but keep acronym CDC.

Jon "sheesh, y'all. " Papai
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jsivier@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Jonathon Sivier )
Subject: Re: little girl embedded in grille (was: Re: I Live to FAQ!)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 17:17:17 GMT

doug@tellabs.com (Doug David) writes:

>In article <BzJF38.Jty@polaris.async.vt.edu> jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu (Joel K. Furr) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec20.001827.20320@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:
>>>
>>>1) Man get's really drunk, and decides to drive home late at
>>>night anyhow. Is relieved to make it safely home, but finds
>>>small child plastered to grille of car in garage next morning.
>>>

   Something like this, but not as gruesome, hapened to me.  Several years ago
during the winter, it was snowing and I was driving home from work.  As I was
driving past some farm fields some birds, eating seeds beside the road, were
startled by my car and flew away.  As everyone knows birds always seem to fly
straight in front of you when they do this, however I didn't think I had hit
any.  When I got home my car was very snow covered.  Some weeks later, when
things began to thaw out, I discovered the body of a small bird frozen under
snow and ice on the grill of the front of my car.  Apparently I had hit a bird
after all and it had been there all along.

Jonathan

Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:32094 rec.food.cooking:23874
From: wiml@milton.u.washington.edu (William Lewis)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.food.cooking
Subject: Re: Cheese popcorn
Date: 25 Dec 92 07:32:27 GMT
Article-I.D.: u.1992Dec25.073227.24964
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle

In article <1992Dec22.213606.22305@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:
>ObfoodUL: The pound cake is so called because it takes
>a pound of butter.  Avoird(mumble) or imperial pound?

   Actually, a pound of _every_ ingredient. At least, an Old Family
Recipe (tm, r, c, sm[*]) --- which produces delicious pound cake let
me tell you, as long as you're not on a diet --- does. Well, not a
pound of salt, but ...


[*] What does this stand for (besides sadomasochism)? Seems to me
    I once heard it explaines as "sales mark" or something equally
    contrived.


-- 
email: wiml@u.washington.edu             |  Home:  Seattle, Washington   |
     (William Lewis)                     |  47 41' 15" N   122 42' 58" W | 
NeXTmail: wiml@ingalls.cs.washington.edu `-------------------------------'
        --*-- Member, Coalition to Preserve Semantic Vacuity --*--
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,sci.skeptic
From: sschaff@roc.SLAC.Stanford.EDU (Stephen F. Schaffner)
Subject: Re: Wwy is the sky blue? (was Re: Daytime Stars - Not Donahue or Oprah)
Organization: Stanford Linear Accelerator Center
Date: Fri, 1 Jan 1993 23:41:21 GMT

In article <1992Dec27.190955.15090@panix.com>, carlf@panix.com (Carl Fink) writes:
|> In <1hk42sINN34t@gap.caltech.edu> carl@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Carl J Lydick) 
writes:

|> When you see a blue sky to the east near sunset, you're talking about
|> >radiation (glowing, to use your term).


|>   Um, no.  Actually you're seeing neither radiated nor refracted light.
|> You're seeing *scattered* light.  The light travels in a straight-line path
|> to the air over your Eastern horizon, then encounters some dust particles
|> and is reflected back into your eye.

Two points: 1) Blue skylight is dominated by scattering from air molecules, 
not by scattering from dust; and 2) scattered light is radiated light (it's 
absorbed and re-radiated by the scatterer). 

-- 
Steve Schaffner        sschaff@unixhub.slac.stanford.edu
	The opinions expressed may be mine, and may not be those of SLAC, 
Stanford University, or the DOE.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: doug@tellabs.com (Doug David)
Subject: Re: little girl embedded in grille (was: Re: I Live to FAQ!)
Organization: Tellabs, IL
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 14:57:21 GMT

In article <BzJF38.Jty@polaris.async.vt.edu> jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu (Joel K. Furr) writes:
>In article <1992Dec20.001827.20320@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:
>>
>>1) Man get's really drunk, and decides to drive home late at
>>night anyhow. Is relieved to make it safely home, but finds
>>small child plastered to grille of car in garage next morning.
>>
>>	I believe Ann Landers or her twin were fooled into
>>	printing a letter containing this one even though:
>>	a) why would a little kid be out late at night.
>>	b) a little kid would not get stuck to a grille.
>>	c) No cases with names, dates attached.
>>

Sounds like this one could have been derived from something that happened
in my home town:

When I was in High School (Late 70s), a FRIEND OF MINE (not a FOAF) was
driving home late one night and as he broke over a hill he hit an elderly
woman who was walking on the road. He killed her. He freaked out and
instead of stopping, he went home. The next day the news all over town was
about a hit and run accident which killed an old lady. Anyway, when my
friend's father came home from work, he discovered blood and some flesh
on the front of my friend's car. He had heard the news earlier and he
made my friend turn himself in. He got into some serious trouble for
leaving the scene of the accident. 

-- 
   (    )   __ (     )   (     )  )         )                      
) ((   ((  / / ))   ((   ))   (( ((     (  ((
   )) ____/ / _____  __  __  _____)) ) ((   ))        
  ( (/ ___ / /___ / / / / / /___ /( ((  )) ((  )       
 ) )/ /__// //__// / /_/ / //__//))  ))( (_) )((   Doug David
(( /_____/ /____/ /_____/ /___ /((  ((  )    (_))  doug@tellabs.com
 ))__________________________//  ))  ))(       (  
( /__________________________/  ( ( (           )
From: rrd@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Ray Depew)
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 17:57:06 GMT
Subject: Dead Cat
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban

Okay, here's a great story.  I heard it from a friend of ours, at a party.
I've never known her to lie, and for all I know, it really did happen.  In
any case, it was a great story, and a fun party (Hi Mike!) -- such a great
story that I had to wonder if you've heard it before:

--------------------

Her mom had gone to the mall in Pocatello (whaddaya mean, "which one?") 
to meet her aunt and cousin, to finish up some Christmas shopping.  When
she found them at the mall, they were sitting on a bench, doubled over
in hysteria, red-faced, crying, you get the picture.  Her mom was immediately
concerned, and tried to find out what was the matter with them.

When they got their breath back, they replied that they were just fine, but
that "you won't belive what just happened."  Then they told her this story.

Aunt and cousin had driven the pickup truck to the mall.  Along the way they
had hit a cat and killed it.  They felt really bad about it, and didn't want
to just leave the carcass on the road, being animal lovers and all.  They
had brought with them some things to exchange at the mall, so they dumped 
the stuff out of the plastic shopping bag, put the dead cat in the bag, and
set the bag in the bed of the truck.  They planned on taking the dead cat
to the Humane Society after their shopping trip.

So as they parked the truck at the mall, some guy walked right past them 
and in one fluid motion looked in the bed, spotted the bag, swooped it out
of the bed, and walked briskly into the mall.  (All the better to lose the
ladies; and besides, they still had to get out of the truck, lock it, etc.)
Since their merchandise-to-return was still intact, they decided not to yell
"Stop thief!  He's stolen our dead cat!" but instead to follow him and see
what he did with the bag.

Aunt and cousin got inside the mall just in time to see the guy stop and open
the bag for a look inside.  When he saw what was in the bag, he dropped it 
and fainted dead away.  Hit his head on the hard tile floor, too.  Out cold.

Somebody called 911, and soon an ambulance crew came rushing in.  They 
checked the poor guy, and decided to haul him to the hospital.  So they
gently put him on the gurney, placed his shopping bag on his chest, and
wheeled him out.  End of story.

Well?
Ray Depew
Integrated Circuits Business Division
Hewlett Packard Co, Fort Collins, Colorado
rrd@hpfiqa.fc.hp.com
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31854 rec.arts.startrek.misc:12973 talk.bizarre:42750
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Walking Between Rain Drops !!!!
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 92 07:08:22 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

minimising wetness while walking in the rain is the equivalent of
being immersed in a river in which the minimum of force is exerted.
in other words, going with the flow keeps you driest.

unfortunately, where you want to go and where the river is going
are usually disparate directions.

which leads to the inevitable conclusion that staying driest in the
rain is a profoundly anti-Taoist activity.

or that Taoists in the rain get very wet and never arrive where 
they want to go.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant |  Would You Like An Arab Dhow Jones With That?   |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Late breaking potential UL!
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 10:51:59 GMT

In article <C07vBt.GA8@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> bjackson@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Ben Jackson) writes:
>In article <4dx802lO30Rq01@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com> tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll) writes:
>>In article <C01M0H.59p@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, bjackson@mentor.cc.purdue.edu 
>>(Ben Jackson) writes:
>>> I just read in our local paper that President-elect Clinton's first
>>> executive order was that there should be "fresh flowers" on his desk
>>> every morning.  Can anyone confirm this? 
>>
>>Kinda hard to give an executive order a month before you become executive.  
>
>Maybe that's why the next sentence in the original article was something
>along the lines of "Does anyone know TO WHOM he gave this order?"  But
>luckily you trimmed down the quotation as much as possible!

Methinks the whole thing refers to a certain cabaret singer, rather than
any novel constitutional theory of executive power vesting in the
president-elect.  In short, to wit, a joke.

Ted "so funny I forgot to laugh" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.food.cooking
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Subject: Re: Capsaicin and hotness of chiles
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 20:48:50 GMT

sdg@wag.caltech.edu (Siddharth Dasgupta) writes:
: 
: Here is a recipe for Chile Chicken from Bengal:
: 
: 4	split chicken breasts, skinned, boned and cut into 
: 	bite sized pieces
: 
: 1	medium onion - pureed
: 1"	piece of ginger, peeled and pureed with the onion
: 4 	Thai chiles, cut into rings (and seeded if less heat
: 					is desired)
: 	splash of vinegar
: 1/4 cup	oil for frying
: 1/4 tsp	turmeric
: 	salt to taste
: 
: 1. Prick the chicken pieces with a fork. Marinate them in the
: onion ginger paste with the splash of vinegar, overnight or at 
: least for 8 hours.
: 2. Heat oil in wok. Shake excess marinade from chicken pieces
: and fry in hot oil till lightly brown. Set aside on a paper 
: towel.
: 3. After all chicken pieces are done, put marinade in the oil
: and add turmeric and salt. Cook until the oil separates from
: the paste. Put the chicken back into the wok, stir to coat,

Looks good. But you left out step 4.  Season to taste.

bill "But, does it taste like chicken?" Nelson
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Subject: Re: Amusing signs
Reply-To: warren@nysernet.org
Organization: Mail to News Gateway at Wang Labs
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 09:21:59 GMT

There's a road sign in Israel near the Dead Sea which points to
Jerusalem in one direction and Sodom in the other.
-- 
/|/-\/-\       In real life, the Vice President chastises Murphey Brown
 |__/__/_/     for her morals.  Bill Clinton plays the sax on "Arsenio
 |warren@      Hall."  Though "Batman Returns" is fiction, it's not too
/ nysernet.org much stranger than truth - Caryn James, The New York Times
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: CD Legends
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Fri, 1 Jan 1993 07:44:13 GMT

In article <1992Dec31.171213.61@gtewd.mtv.gsc.gte.com> scruggs@gtewd.mtv.gsc.gte.com writes:
>
>It goes back further than Layla or In A Gadda Da Vida. Light My Fire was pretty
>long for AM but it got played. Even earlier than that, according to disk jocky

It was a few weeks before I first heard the uncut version of Light My Fire
and then understood just what the reference to
"the time for hesitation's through" since
the pop version cuts out the entire instrumental portion.  In spite of this,
it's still fairly long.

I think the record for chopping a song is a tossup between the excised version
of Spinning Wheel and We Won't Get Fooled Again, which sometimes sounds like
it's little more than the opening movement and "meet the new boss, same as the
old boss" and a fadeout (the 25 second version).

The record for chopping variants has to be Heart of Glass.  Most of the 
versions I have heard are about the same length, but tend to excise in quite
different ways.  Some even sound as if jumbled up and partially repeated.

cj "once had a love, and it was a gas" l
cj "what goes up, must come down" l
cj "meet the new boss, same as the old boss" l
From: pynq@quads.uchicago.edu (Jeremy Mathers)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Ann Landers and the 5 sexes
Date: 22 Dec 92 18:21:30 GMT
Reply-To: pynq@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: D. J. Dougherty & Associates

In article <1992Dec22.145929.568907@locus.com> dwight@locus.com writes:
>Saw this one in Ann Landers yesterday.  Some woman wrote in to Ann complaining
>about one of her son's teachers.  Seems this teacher was teaching the kids that
>there are actually 5 sexes in the world: male, female, homosexual, bisexual,
>and asexual.
...
>Don't they require teachers have a basic understanding of biology anymore?

I saw this too, and got quite a chuckle out of it.

I think the implication was that this was not a biology class, and was
something like a "Life education" or some such.  I.e., it was probably
related to what Rush Limbaugh calls "teaching 6 year olds about anal sex".

I'd bet Rush would get a kick out of this one, too.

************************************************************************
I have a simple philosophy:

	Fill what's empty.
	Empty what's full.
	Scratch where it itches.
		-- A. R. Longworth

	- pynq@quads.uchicago.edu, who is still costing the net
	  hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars, every time he posts -
************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Subject: Re: asteroids beyond Jupiter
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 08:15:02 GMT

bjacobs@chopin.udel.edu (William J Jacobs) writes:
: >: >
: >: No, Bill, you're wrong.  There are many flat-out ASTEROIDS that orbit that
: >: far.  You're not an astronomer, don't lecture us from a vacuum of knowledge.
: >
: >I could easily be wrong. This is AFU - after all.
: >
: >Guess I will have to do some study of the recent research. Do you have some
: >cites to simplify my astronomical task?
: >
: >Bill
: 
: Well, this Bill is an astronomer, so I'll see if I can help out here.  I'm
: afraid that I killed the thread that lead to this so all I know about your
: dispute is right here.
: 
: First off, there is no reason an asteroid couldn't be perturbed enough to
: reach Neptune's orbit.  I'll bet that plenty of asteroids get perturbed right
: out of the solar system.  Any asteroids that were out there would be quite
: difficult to detect.  I recall hearing of a few, but the theory was that they
: were comets knocked into a fairly circular orbit with a large radius, not 
: from the asteroid belt at all.

Would it be possible for Neptune to capture a perturbed asteroid? I highly
doubt it. Admittedly, I am a little weak on celestial mechanics, so could
easily be wrong.

: I'm not quite clear what a planetoid is.  I guess you  must mean a minor
: planet a.k.a. a big asteroid.  The same limitations would apply to a 
: planetesimal as to an asteroid.  They're the same sort of thing really.

I consider a planetoid to be any asteroid or small planet-like object that
did not originate in the asteroid belt.

: I don't follow the capturing logic about Neptune and Pluto you state above,
: but I will say that capturing a stray body is a tricky business.  You see,
: to go from a big orbit (wandering around the solar system) to a small one
: (around a particular planet) is to loose energy.  The only ways to do that
: are to smack into something, or to take a dip into an atmosphere.  Neither
: being a particularly likely or undisruptive event, this makes capture pretty
: unlikely.  

Yeah - it would be a problem - unless the object originated in about the
orbit of Neptune in the first place.  I suspect that there would be the
same problem with a perturbed asteroid - any such object would have to
lose energy to be captured.

: I'm going to dig around the thread for this note and see if I can figure out
: just what it is you folks are discussing.

I was disagreeing with the belief of some that Pluto was, at one time,
an asteroid that was captured by Neptune.

My other argument in opposition, was that the fact that Pluto has a moon
would also eliminate the possibility. I guess that it is possible that
Pluto and Chiron? could have once been the same body. That would eliminate
this argument.

: Bill Jacobs
: Actually I'm just a grad student, but close enough

Thanks, Bill.

Bill "Oh no! Another Bill" Nelson
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: obrien@netcom.com (Robert O'Brien)
Subject: Re: Net's Funniest Kitchen Disasters
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 1992 05:09:26 GMT

[crosspost removed - glad I noticed]

Still not really _kitchen_, but before I left Sacramento in 1982, I had
a redwood hot tub in the back yard, and a couple of times each season, we'd
dump in a whole box of "Mr. Bubble" and snow the yard.

Makes for a fun tub party once in a while----->|-----

I'll see if I can get Ken to scan up a GIF of the 
"Full moons over the snowscape" slide...

	Bob "rearrange *that* diode, and you'll get a smiley" O'Bob
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: nigel@kathunk.phaedrav.on.ca (Nigel M Burnett)
Subject: Re: African-American-top
Organization: as little as possible
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Fri, 1 Jan 1993 21:41:30 GMT

Ric Crabbe (cardo@oahu.cs.ucla.edu) wrote:
: mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson) writes:
: 
: >My father told me about a colleague who was writing a book. The editor
: >of the book was very PC and decided that the professor couldn't use
: >the word "black" when referring to African-Americans. So the editor
: >simply used a "search-and-replace" command to search for every "black"
: >reference and replace it with "African-American."

Yup, seen it, and the retraction too.  I think I was business travelling
at the time and there's no way I'm gonna remember where.  Anyway,
"The xyx times/standard wish to apologize ... article in the business
section regarding "companies getting back into the African-Amercican".
This should have read "... back into the black"."


Nigel (I read so it must be true) Burnett
-- 
The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of
a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others.  His own
good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant.   John Stuart Mill

Nigel Burnett: 78 Normandy Blvd, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, M4L 3K3 416-690-1834
Send e-mail to nigel@kathunk.phaedrav.on.ca or try uunet.ca!kink!kathunk!nigel