From: bearcub@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Bob Koenig)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Best Response? (Was Tips for coming out to friends?)
Date: 27 Jan 1993 21:13:38 GMT
Organization: University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
Reply-To: bearcub@csd4.csd.uwm.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4
Originator: bearcub@csd4.csd.uwm.edu

> 
> What respnse do you want to hear from your friends when you do come
> out to them?
> 
> In reply to one such revelation, my response was "I kind of thought
> that was what you were going to say", but that was to someone who had
> asked me to go to lunch with hime because he had something very
> important that he wanted to tell me.  
> 
> In at least one other case, I was so surprised that all I could manage
> was "Oh, that's nice".  Now that was a truly insipid response; I mean,
> "nice"?  At least I didn't say "Really?" or "Are you sure?", but I
> certainly could have done better than "nice".  (Maybe "groovy" or "way
> cool"?)
> 
> So what's the best response you've gotten to a direct coming-out?  To
> an oblique one?  The funniest?

	I had a great reaction from pretty much everyone I have come out to.

The best story about it goes as follows:

	My best friend, my best female friend, and her younger sister were

sitting at her house pondering what to do, and just generally gossiping
and talking. We were discussing the game "Skeletons In The Closet", which
is just a form of Truth Or Dare, but it's all truth questions.....
	Needless to say, we all had our opinions about the game and its
	Needless to say, we all had our opinions about the game and its

	
possible negative effects. We all decided to play a game of it, by just
taking turns asking each other *very* intimate questions. My best friend,
sort of didn't want to play, but decided to stay in the room anyway.
	The questions went around, and started to get sexual. Jenni, who is

my best female friend, asked her sister a question. When she was done,
Her sister asked me, "Have you ever been fucked?" (That was her exact wording
....if she assumed I was straight she would have probably asked, "Have you
fucked?")

	I said yes, which opened the eyes to all in the room. Everybody

thought I was a "virgin". Rachel blurted out "Who??" to which I replied,
"Ahaha. That's another question..."
	The questioning went around and my heart started pounding thru 

my chest and the tension filled the room. Everybody wanted to know who
I had lost it to. It came back to me. "Who'd ya fuck?", asked Rachel. Everyone
zoomed in on me. 
	For the next two hours I had explained the whole story and came out


zoomed in on me.
	For the next 2 and a half hours, I proceeded to come out of the closet
to the three others. The women were very excited for me and happy to see
that I was so in love. Dan was pretty silent. It worried me a little. It was
easier than I imagined, and it felt like a ton a bricks fell off my 
shoulders. Dan offered me a ride home.
	We stepped outside and he calmly said to me,

	"I'm proud of you. It took a lotta guts to do it."

Since then we've been closer and better friends than we had in the past.
No one got hurt and everyone cared. And still cares. My friend Dan thinks
its fun to hear me talk about men. He listens to me and learns more about
it. I reassure him that he doesn't have to hear what he doesn't want to
hear. 



Bearcub
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