HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: leisti@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Teemu Leisti)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: The Last Word on "Potatoe".
Date: 16 Oct 92 10:41:01 GMT
Organization: University of Helsinki

In article <1992Oct9.202804.12675@mv.mv.com> mem@mv.mv.com
 (Mark E. Mallett) writes:

: Perhaps you can also explain why my expression of dislike of loaded
: arguments causes you to post attacks on me personally (which is really
: the only reason I responded this time; I said what I wanted to say in
: the first place).

Sorry.  Got carried away.  You win.

-- 
--  Teemu Leisti  /  U. of Helsinki, Finland  /  leisti@cc.helsinki.fi

             Zippy the Pinhead Clown for President!
                     "Am I elected yet?"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: bagel@vpnet.chi.il.us (marcia goldstein)
Subject: QUAYLE-FACE
Organization: Vpnet - Free Usenet access
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 05:37:48 GMT



    There was some discussion here about a "startled-deer-in-the- 
    headlights" face which would be a good representation of Dan Quayle.
    Well, I've recently come across one I think is perfect.  It seems to
    capture his vacuous expression exactly:


 
                                "Supergoof!" 
                                    -  - 
                                    O  O 
                                      > 
                                     \_/ 
 

    This was created by parks_typ@med.wcc.govt.nz. 

Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:5006 sci.logic:1676 sci.math:12847 rec.arts.books:17814
From: neerven@cwi.nl (Jan van Neerven)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,sci.logic,sci.math,rec.arts.books
Subject: monograph on existence of Purgatory
Date: 7 Oct 92 14:19:41 GMT
Followup-To: alt.fan.dan-quayle


                       PURGATORY EXISTS !!!!!
                     ==========================

       A mathematical proof of the existence of Purgatory is
       claimed by a team of Dutch mathematicians from the Centre
       for Mathematics and Computer Science and the University of
       Amsterdam. Their results appear in a monograph entitled

                  "Das Fegefeuer-Theorem"
                       -------------
                       DE PURGATORIO

                  Eschatologische Axiomatik
                            zum
                      transorbitalen
                     Suendenmanagement

       published by Libelle-Verlag, Bottighofen am Bodensee,
       ISBN 3-909081-55-X.
       The authors are J.A.P. Heesterbeek, J.M.A.M. van Neerven
       and H.A.J.M. Schellinx.
       The monograph is written in academic German, with an
       extensive mathematical Appendix in English.

       We cite the English Condensation:

            'This book gives the Deomathematical description
             of Sinning. You, reading this summary in a book-
             shop, should stare into your deepest Ego and
             contemplate whether your Sin-load is bigger than
             10 (jokes about the Royal Family (UK readers) or
             Dan Quayle (US readers) already drive it above
             25) while your Extensional Soulbalance is below
             0. Do not contemplate too long though, the book-
             seller has noticed you and wonders if you really
             will buy. Your Soulsearch reveals that You, Reader,
             are a Sinner. It is then good to know that we
             rigorously prove that Purgatory exists. Buying this
             book will favourably influence your personal
             grill-time.'

       The 'Sommaire Prospective (1758)':

             'Votre Altesse trouvera dans ce Trait'e des matieres
              de Th'elogie, de Philosophie & de Math'ematique,
              mani'ees aved beaucoup d'habilit'e & de d'elicatesse:
              elles sont toutes de votre sphere ces matieres.'

     [Price: DM 19,== (Approx. US$ 13,==)]
=============================================================================
hees@cwi.nl
-------------------------------
From: dejst5+@pitt.edu (David   E Joslin)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Dan Quayle, AI
Date: 8 Oct 92 16:31:36 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

I wrote (quoting a 10/7/92 NY Times article):
>A Quayle aide explained Dan's problem as follows:
>	"That's the problem with being Dan Quayle.  Sometimes
>	there's a data download as he's shifting gears."  
>If anyone can explain this explanation to me, I would be grateful.

And it just struck me.  "Data download?"  "Shifting gears?" 
Dan Quayle is a robot, a miracle of Artificial Intelligence.

Now it all makes sense.  What do AI programs such as Eliza do when
they don't understand a question?  They change the subject.  They
make vague, general statements.  And Quayle adds a new technique
to AI programming -- misspell "potato" or say something stupid, so
that everyone forgets the lack of substance and understanding in
everything else he says.

But was Quayle's aide revealing this unintentionally?  Perhaps not.
If Quayle is an AI robot then I'm very impressed with what it can 
do.  That's quite a PR coup, when Dan Quayle moves from ridiculous 
to impressive overnight.

Perhaps during the Gore-Quayle debate Danny Boy will open a panel 
in his head and reveal the truth.  (A note to Gore:  chances are
all the chips were made in Japan.  Maybe you can get some mileage
out of this.)

David
(If Dan Quayle were a robot, the most impressive thing about it
would be how well it plays golf.)
From: cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: more bashing
Date: 11 Oct 92 13:30:06 GMT
	<CINDY.92Oct8204112@solan10.solan.unit.no>
	<1992Oct10.182725.19220@ugle.unit.no>
Organization: /home/ludviga/cindy/.organization

Leif Magnar Kj|nn|y [no, we won't tell you what the secret letters
are] writes:
>> And what's next?  alt.fan.king-carl-gustav?
>You mean alt.fan.king-cal-gustf, don't you?

Ah, so that's how he's spelling it this week.

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondheim, Norway
From: erics@infoserv.com (Eric S. Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Dan attacked by angry mob!
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 92 08:13:05 PDT
Organization: Reigning Cats and Dogs
Reply-To: erics@infoserv.com
X-Mailer: uAccess - Macintosh Release: 1.6v1


williams@herky.cs.uiowa.edu (Kent Williams) writes:

> >by erics@infoserv.com (Eric S. Smith):

> > San Francisco is well known for its anti-Bush and especially anti-Quayle
> > protestors. I especially liked the local TV coverage of two tourist
> > couples who witnessed the demonstration, one from Indiana ("We're not
> > voting for Bush; we're voting for Quayle - he's a great man"), and one
> > from Iowa ("They never would have allowed this back home"). They who?
> > What would "they" have done? Arrested people for speaking their minds?
> > All great fun.

> I'm sorry, but don't judge the whole state of Iowa.  Iowa went for Dukakis
> in 88; it will go for Clinton in '92.  California went to the Republicans
> both times.

California will go for Clinton. He has such a big lead that he isn't
even bothering to campaign much here, or Bush either (mercifully saving us
from the brunt of the campaign rhetoric). Forays such as Quayle's by
the Republican candidates have usually resulted in one disaster or another,
with more of the Republican leadership declaring their support for Clinton.

I would never judge the whole state of Iowa by one tourist couple. Actually
I think it's more indicative of the state of mind of S.F. tourists (sorry;
juuuust kidding ...). But since you are from Iowa, maybe you can shed
some light on the state of mind voiced by those people. Exactly what
did they mean by "they" wouldn't have "allowed" such a thing? I'm really
curious.

-----
Eric Smith
erics@infoserv.com
CI$: 70262,3610
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center
Date: Wednesday, 30 Sep 1992 11:01:05 EDT
From: Alexandre Pechtchanski <APPMS@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Dan-fandom, rejoice!

Hi, everybody:
Yesterday's (9-29-92) news brought a source of rejoice for our group.
Somebody was complaining about lost possibilities as Bush repeatedly
refused to participate in TV debates, which would mean that VP debates
are even less probable, and we won't be enjoying those pearls of wisdom
from our boy.

Cheer up, everybody!  Bush promised to take part in the debates, and,
_much_ more importantly, promised VP debates as well!  Stay tuned for
new quotes (may be we'll learn which century he came from, after all ;-)
-------

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Alex Pechtchanski, GCRC System Manager   Phone: (212) 241-1804
Mount Sinai Medical Center, New York  -------------------------
internet: desnick@msvax.mssm.edu      #include <std.disclaimer>
bitnet:   appms@cunyvm                
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Opinions?  If you find one, please let me know...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: train@gvls2.gvl.unisys.com (Herbert Rutledge)
Subject: New Quayle Quote
Keywords: The usual
Organization: Paramax Systems Corporation, Paoli PA
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 12:11:05 GMT


  Hot from the Associated Press (dateline ATLANTA, 10/14/92):

 "Vice President Quayle delivered some fish food for thought yesterday before
  heading off for his vice presidential debate with Al Gore and James
  Stockdale.

  At a ceremony marking the 10th anniversary of the Job Training Partnership
  Act, which Quayle helped sponsor when he was a senator, the vice president
  said the program was based on the philosophy that 'if you give a person a
  fish, they'll fish for a day.  But if you teach the person to fish, they'll
  fish for a lifetime.'

  What Quayle had in mind, presumably, was the adage: 'Give me a fish, and
  I'll eat for a day; teach me to fish, and I'll eat for a lifetime.'" 


--
 _________________________________________________________________________
|                                 |                                       |
| Herbert Rutledge, aka Train     |                                       |
| Paramax Systems Corporation     | "To post is human; to flame, divine." |
| Valley Forge Labs, M/S GVL-3    |                                       |
| P.O. Box 517, Paoli, PA  19301  |                     ---Alexander Pope |
| Internet: train@.gvl.unisys.com |                                       |
|_________________________________|_______________________________________|
From: sstover@sumax.seattleu.edu (Maven o'Mirth)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: debates
Date: 8 Oct 92 05:58:52 GMT
Organization: Seattle University, Seattle WA

In article <92281.201259KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu> KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu (Kurt Ludwick) writes:
>In article <cass8806.299@elan.glassboro.edu>, cass8806@elan.glassboro.edu (KYLE
>CASSIDY) says:
>
>>i can barely wait to see our boy dan take on al gore in the debate.
>
>Ditto.
>
>>any thoughts on who might win?
>
>Most expect Gore to massacre Quayle.  I expect Quayle to destroy Gore, by
>simply quoting his book and exposing him for the wacko-environmentalist
>liberal he is.

Hm.  And in place of this wacko-environmentalist, just *what* alternative
does J. Danforth Quayle provide to "The Thinking Voter <tm>?"

>At least, I -hope- he makes it perfectly clear that not all scientists
>believe 'the sky is falling', as Chicken Little Gore would have us believe.
>
>Watch for an upset.
>
>------------
>Kurt Ludwick
>------------

Geez.  And to think I once tried to have a discussion with this guy in
which I asked him to answer a simple question directly.  Shoulda known he
came from not only the same school of action as Our Man Dan, but from the
same intellectual background as well.  

I have no doubt Kurt and Dan are happy together in their fictional world.

--
Sheryl Stover				|  How passing fair is youth,
*>sstover@sumax.seattleu.edu<*		|  Forever fleeting away;
and Hemingway, feline philosopher	|  Who happy would be, let him be;
Watch this .sig for news of the		|  Of tomorrow, who can say?
upcoming album from Seattle's 		|	-Lorenzo de'Medici
premier band, the Medici!		|
From: sg@monsoon.com (Sunil Gupta)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: debates
Date: Fri, 09 Oct 92 12:47:03 EDT
Organization: Monsoon Software, Inc.

madhaus@netcom.com (Maddi Hausmann) writes:

> In article <92281.201259KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu> Kurt Ludwick <KEL111@psuvm.psu.
> 
> >At least, I -hope- he makes it perfectly clear that not all scientists
> >believe 'the sky is falling', as Chicken Little Gore would have us believe.
> 
> I guess he's in with the scientists who told him about the canals
> on Mars.  Some Doctor E.E. Smith, I think.

No, no. Surely these are those creation scientists much-loved by
'God's own people'.

Sunil Gupta
Monsoon Software, Inc.
sg@monsoon.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Trickle Down in working in at least one place in the USA
From: dfriedman@misvax.mis.arizona.edu (D R Friedman)
Date: 16 Oct 1992 20:30 MST  
Distribution: world,local
Organization: University of Arizona MIS Department
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    

And that is in the amount of time left remaining in the Bush/Quayle
presidency.

Denny
From: afc@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Dog breeding and attack tactics
Date: 16 Oct 92 13:53:51 GMT

In article <uH6msB4w165w@monsoon.com>, sg@monsoon.com (Sunil Gupta) writes:

Lots of stuff deleted...

> I must say that I was continually annoyed by Dano's perpetual,
> childish snickering and countless interruptions. His handlers
> have probably cast aside any notion of "presidential demeanor"
> in favor of pit-bull tactics.
              ^^^^^^^^
Please!  Miniature schnautzer tactics (thanks to Molly Ivins)!
Yappy, hyperactive, and, ultimately, futile.

A. F. Cockburn

> Sunil Gupta
> Monsoon Software, Inc.
> sg@monsoon.com
From: hobbs_a@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz (Anthony 'SCHWAibo' Hobbs)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: more bashing
Date: 9 Oct 92 12:48:04 NZST
Organization: Chief Lord High Priest, ACCGEK
NNTP-Posting-Host: kosmos.wcc.govt.nz

In article <CINDY.92Oct8204112@solan10.solan.unit.no>, cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:
> Sunil Gupta writes:
>>huang@mwilliams.eche.ualberta.ca () writes:
>>
>>> Can those Quayle bashers find some place else to masturbate?  This
>>> place is santified for the genuine fan of The Honourable J. Danforth
>>> Quayle.  Please return to the original intent.  Thanks.
>>
>>Watch it buster! Otherwise we'll start alt.fan.brian-mulroney. Truly
>>the intellectual peer of Our Man Dan.
> 
> And what's next?  alt.fan.king-carl-gustav?

I vote for the creation of alt.fan.jim-bolger. The New Zealand Prime Minister,
the man they call "Mr Potato Head" because of nothing but his looks.

			- SCHWA.
-- 
"Look over there! See that man on the bus! Is he looking at you... PARANOIA!"

Anthony Hobbs		SCHWAibo		    hobbs_a@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz
Chief Lord High Priest, ACCGEK - Hail Frozen Yoghurt - Snuggles Loves You
DISCLAIMER: I am not Romanian and was not head of the Securitate for 15 years.
From: train@gvls2.gvl.unisys.com (Herbert Rutledge)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Does this endorsement help or hurt?
Date: 7 Oct 92 14:50:13 GMT
Organization: Paramax Systems Corporation, Paoli PA

In article <9210071407.AA02609@MIT.EDU>, dks@MIT.EDU (dks) writes:
|> 
|> 
|> Excuse the Quayless intrusion.  John White was primary author
|> of HRP's "economic plan."  Do y'all think his endorsement of
|> Clinton helps or hurts?
|> 
|> 
|> Dhanesh
|> 
|>  [John P. White's statement deleted]



  It could just be sour grapes; an article in this week's "The New
  Republic" claims that HRP didn't bother to even read his ghost-
  written economic plan.

  However, what I find interesting is the fact that so many of Perot's
  supporters and volunteers, angered after finding out that after a heavy 
  night of intensive prick-teasing he didn't respect them in the morning, 
  have thrown their support to Clinton.  Bush seems to have not benefited
  at all.
   

--
 _________________________________________________________________________
|                                 |                                       |
| Herbert Rutledge, aka Train     |                                       |
| Paramax Systems Corporation     | "To post is human; to flame, divine." |
| Valley Forge Labs, M/S GVL-3    |                                       |
| P.O. Box 517, Paoli, PA  19301  |                     ---Alexander Pope |
| Internet: train@.gvl.unisys.com |                                       |
|_________________________________|_______________________________________|
From: hobbs_a@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz (Anthony 'SCHWAibo' Hobbs)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Undercurrent of Panic
Date: 13 Oct 92 13:47:01 NZST
Organization: ACCGEK, New Zealand
NNTP-Posting-Host: kosmos.wcc.govt.nz

In article <1992Oct12.103416@IASTATE.EDU>, danwell@IASTATE.EDU (Daniel A Ashlock) writes:

>    Personally, I'm looking forward to the VP debate.  When Clinton announced
> Gore as his running mate some alt.fan.dan-quayl'r opined:
> 
> "Gore will rip him a new asshole.  Hopefully somewhere near his buttocks, this
> time."

Yes, we all know that. But who will come out best between Our Man Dan and
Perot's tool, Stockdale? Dunno much about the guy, but he seems at least
slightly loopy. The debate between these two proud representatives of America
should be amusing, to say the least.

			- SCHWA.
		(personally, I think Dan's brain is an MIA :-)
-- 
"I have everything I need to know - 'Bob' told me so!"

Anthony Hobbs		SCHWAibo		    hobbs_a@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz
Chief Lord High Priest, ACCGEK - Hail Frozen Yoghurt - Snuggles Loves You
DISCLAIMER: I am not Romanian and was not head of the Securitate for 15 years.
From: egl1@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Elizabeth G. Levy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Vice shrub didn't lose.
Date: 14 Oct 92 16:59:17 GMT
Reply-To: egl1@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Elizabeth G. Levy)
Organization: Columbia University

In article <1992Oct14.102547@IASTATE.EDU> danwell@IASTATE.EDU (Daniel A Ashlock) writes:
>
>Admiral won: he lied the least.  On the other hand, we cannot elect an 
>former autocrat that ran a seperate civilization of foreign soil.

Correction: _Reigned_ over his own civilization.  I felt sorry for the
guy for being up there without being adequetely prepared, but this has
got to be one of the funniest lines to come from last night's debate.

--
"Moors."  "Moops."  "Moors."  "Moops."  Psssssssssssss.....
From: sg@monsoon.com (Sunil Gupta)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: more bashing
Date: Thu, 08 Oct 92 11:31:27 EDT
Organization: Monsoon Software, Inc.

huang@mwilliams.eche.ualberta.ca () writes:

> Can those Quayle bashers find some place else to masturbate?  This
> place is santified for the genuine fan of The Honourable J. Danforth
> Quayle.  Please return to the original intent.  Thanks.  

Watch it buster! Otherwise we'll start alt.fan.brian-mulroney. Truly
the intellectual peer of Our Man Dan.

Sunil Gupta
Monsoon Software, Inc.
sg@monsoon.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: miles@ms.uky.edu (Stephen D. Grant)
Subject: Re: Debate Results, my opinion.
    <1992Oct15.114612.1@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz>
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 04:58:54 GMT
Organization: University of Kentucky, USA. -5 GMT

I think Gore looked plastic, somewhat insincere and well rehearsed.
On the other hand, he made very good points and kept the "we can't take 4 more
years" heat on Quayle. 
Quayle looked desperate. Flailing and interupting and not saying much except
for the common "can you trust Bill Clinton" lines.
Many times Quayles response to serious charges resulted in his laughter and
then his changing the topic. He was on the defense most of the time.
Quayle may have won a moral victory in that he didn't look nearly as stupid
as he did in the 88 vp debate, but I think he clearly LOST this one as well.
I wasn't using the tally sheet, I was keeping a mental record of point,
counter-point. Quayle lost.
I think Quayle also lost on the directly argued points 3 to 1 in favor of
Gore.
From: train@gvls2.gvl.unisys.com (Herbert Rutledge)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Prez Debate II
Date: 16 Oct 92 13:49:38 GMT
Organization: Paramax Systems Corporation, Paoli PA


  I found Bush's summation intriguing.  Highlighting his strong suit, foreign
  affairs, he said that people should vote for him because sometime soon a 
  news announcer would break into a television show to announce a crisis
  somewhere in the world.  

  Hmmmmm.  The last such news bulletin that I remember described a riot in
  Los Angeles.

  

--
 _________________________________________________________________________
|                                 |                                       |
| Herbert Rutledge, aka Train     |                                       |
| Paramax Systems Corporation     | "To post is human; to flame, divine." |
| Valley Forge Labs, M/S GVL-3    |                                       |
| P.O. Box 517, Paoli, PA  19301  |                     ---Alexander Pope |
| Internet: train@.gvl.unisys.com |                                       |
|_________________________________|_______________________________________|
From: sieferme@carson.u.washington.edu (Eric Sieferman)
Subject: Re: Marilyn Quayle claims Clinton thinks unlike a southerner
Keywords: politics, usa federal, government
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 23:26:27 GMT

News from Marilyn, via clarinet:
--------------------------------------------------------------
In article <marilynU2O6910pe@clarinet.com>
clarinews@clarinet.com (UPI) writes:
>	MONROE, La. (UPI) -- Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton does not think like a
>southerner, vice-presidential wife Marilyn Quayle said Tuesday while on
>a political tour of cotton-growing states.
>	Mrs. Quayle told a Republican group in Monroe, La., ``Clinton's Ivy
>League education is influencing his policies much more than his southern
>birth.''
>	She attacked Clinton's health care reform program as ``medically
>inadequate and too expensive.''
>	Wearing a lapel pin supporting Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Mrs.
>Quayle charged that Clinton's health care plan would force women to wait
>six months for breast surgery.
>	Mrs. Quayle made later Louisiana stops in Alexandria, Hammond, and
>New Orleans.
--------------------------------------------------------------

Any southerners out there care to explain how Arkansas native
Bill Clinton does not think like a southerner, whereas
GHWB (private school, Yale educated, long time Washington DC
insider) does?



-- 
| Eric Sieferman            |    sieferme@u.washington.edu          |
| U. of W., M.C.I.S.        |    (206) 685-3104                     |

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: ph2p@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Peter F. Hayward)
Subject: Re: Debate Results, my opinion.
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 15:53:00 GMT

In article <1992Oct14.043504.5165@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> jks2x@holmes.acc.Virginia.EDU (Jason K. Schechner) writes:
>Then Gore said he wouldn't compare Quayle to Kennedy and Quayle said
>"Do you remember what happened last time someone was compared to
>Kennedy?".

This seemed like a canned response that Our Boy had been given
in the (likely) event that the JFK reference came up, but since
Gore was being interrupted during his opening statement, the 
punch line never came out.  Any guesses?

How about, "Then someone whined, `That's uncalled for!' and ended
up looking like an idiot."

BTW, the "deer in the headlights" reference was priceless!  }8-b


--
------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Hayward                                         804-982-5862
University of Virginia - Facilities Management   ph2p@Virginia.edu
575 Alderman Road, Charlottesville, VA 22903