From: lana@magenta.corp.sgi.com (Lana Mountford)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Keywords: lime pie
Date: 28 Sep 92 18:46:33 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

In article <ewright.717475185@convex.convex.com>, ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:
|> In <1992Sep25.235130.18575@odin.corp.sgi.com> lana@magenta.corp.sgi.com (Lana Mountford) writes: 
|> >I'm serious -- I know almost NO ONE who fits the picture you paint
|> >above -- male or female.  I work in Silicon Valley, and the general
|> >topic of social conversation is -- you guessed it -- our respective
|> >companies.   
|> 
|> That sounds like a significant cultural difference.  Most people
|> I know *don't* like to talk about work after hours.  The articles
|> and books I've seen on conversational skills and social etiquette
|> all reinforce this idea: don't talk shop at social functions. (In
|> fact, I've been at parties where the hostess forbade it.)

More's the pity.  Some of the most interesting conversations I've had
have involved work and what our respective companies are up to.  Of
course, maybe *I'm* strange.  :-)

|>  They 
|> also say don't talk about sex, religion, or politics, keep the
|> conversation "light", etc.

"They" don't always know what "they" are talking about, either.  Again,
some of the best conversations I've had have involved "controversial"
topics.  In fact, at a lot of social events I attend, the conversation
runs along the lines of what you might find in some of the better
newsgroups here on the net.  Of course, the occurrence of "flame wars"
in person-to-person conversation at social events tends to be less
common.

|> 
|> I'm afraid I don't have any first knowledge of social life in Silicon
|> Valley.  The only knowledge I do have is what I've gotten from movies
|> and television.  There it always goes something like this: Beautiful 
|> girl is having dinner or at a party with nerdy programmer, usually with
|> glasses.  He's talking about programming (or at least something that
|> screenwriters think sounds like programming); she's looking intensely
|> bored.

Not if *she's* also into programming or whatever.  Remember, I'm talking
Silicon Valley here, where there are a *lot* of women in technical fields,
including engineering.

|>  Suddenly, a gorgeous hunk walks into the room.  Girl looks at
|> hunk and instantly falls in love.  Cut to girl and hunk, who have changed
|> out of their tuxedo and evening dress into bathing suits, heading down the
|> road in hunk's Porsche.  Next comes a series of shots of them at the beach:
|> swimming, playing volleyball, running along the beach, riding surfboards,
|> until finally girl falls into hunk's arms.

Not much riding surfboards (except in wet-suits) up this way - the water is
too cold.  What you're describing isn't specific to California -- it's the
typical Hollywood-inspired "fairy tale."  It has nothing to do with Silicon
Valley or to your specific problem, either, unless you've been on a date
with a gorgeous girl, talked about programming, and lost her in the next 
frame to a gorgeous hunk.  ;-)

|> 
|> I realize that, like everything that comes out of Hollywood, this
|> is undoubtedly exaggerated.  On the other hand, I know that there
|> are a lot of surfboards manufactured and sold in California.  I also
|> know that Los Angeles and San Francisco have their own baseball/football
|> teams and that the seats are not empty for every game.  You may not go
|> to football and baseball games, but somebody must.  

There are over 7,000,000 people in the 9-county SF Bay area.  The various
sports arenas hold somewhat less than that number.  Yes, there is support
for sports teams here.  That doesn't mean that EVERYONE attends games or
even watches them on television.  That certainly doesn't mean that the 
teams are the primary topic of conversation in the office or at social
events.  Of course, if you sincerely want to rationalize your plight by
saying "I can't get a date because every woman I meet is a sports nut
and I'm not," be my guest.  The facts, even in Dallas, don't bear that
out.  (I have some knowledge of the Dallas-Fort Worth area; my brother
lives there.)

|> I also know from
|> recruiting brochures that a lot of Silicon Valley companies have their
|> own fitness centers; I assume that there are independent health clubs
|> as well.

You bet -- I used to work for a company that had one of the nicest 
fitness centers in the Valley (so I'm told -- I never set foot in it 
or any other company-situated fitness center, so I only have the word 
of the few people I know who did).  Again, that doesn't mean that EVERY 
SINGLE PERSON who lives/works in Silicon Valley is a fitness nut.  I 
work here and I'm not a fitness nut.

|> 
|> >Well, I guess that's as good an excuse as any for giving up.  :-)
|> 
|> Who said I'm giving up?  As the (C&W, sorry) song says, even a long
|> shot is better than no shot at all.  I'm just trying to refute 
|> the silly notion that if I haven't found somebody already it must 
|> mean I'm not really trying.  That and the idea that if I meet women
|> who are interested in sports I must be "spending all my time handing
|> out around health clubs."

And all I'm saying is that if you want to find women who aren't interested
in fitness, go to places that would tend to attract that type of woman.
That was your initial complaint, right? -- that the only women you seemed
to meet were the ones who were only interested in men who were into fitness
and bodybuilding?  (If I've got that wrong, please correct me, but your 
initial article has long since disappeared.)  So, go to the places where 
the kind of women who are likely to find you attractive hang out.  Obviously,
it's not the places you've been hanging out, if the only women you meet are
inappropriate.  Or are you saying that you're only attracted to women who 
prefer fitness nuts?  What kind of woman do YOU find attractive, and where
are you most likely to meet her?  (serious questions)

Cheers!

-- 

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|    /)                      | Lana Mountford    
|   / /  __    ___    __     |  
|__(_/__(__)\__/  )__(__)\__ | (who speaks only for herself) 
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Newsgroups: soc.singles