From: X045KF@tamvm1.tamu.edu (Kimberly Faircloth)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: At what age is day care appropriate?
Date: 9 Apr 92 19:29:56 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University

In article <92099.092904CXF12@psuvm.psu.edu>
CXF12@psuvm.psu.edu writes:
 
>Ellen commented:
>>It would not be good for me or my son if I were a stay-at-home mommy.
>>He is the most important person in the world to me but there's got
>>to be a balance in a family's life.  He's being nurtured, cared for,
>>and taught, right this minute, by people who have skills I don't have.
>>I'm working at a job I enjoy and which helps support our family.
>
>Ditto.  I know that I have read about studies showing that children fare best
>when their parents are happy with their life choices.  These are studies that
>have attempted to determine whether children were better off with a stay-at-
>home mother or with a working mother.  And the answer is -- it depends.
>Children do not benefit from a stay-at-home mother who is unhappy with or
>resents her circumstances.  Similarly, children do not benefit from a mother
>who works outside of the home when she would prefer to stay home with the
>children.  I hesitate to post this without cites, but I don't have any.
>Perhaps someone out there does, and will provide them.
>
>Carol Fischer (CXF12@psuvm.psu.edu)
 
Well, IMHO, you don't need any cites to prove what you have just said.
I was a child of a mother who stayed home most of my childhood until
the financial situation required that she go to work.  She liked
where she worked, but she wasn't happy because she wanted to be home
for us when we got home, etc.  It was hard on me (my sister wasn't affected
much b/c she knew how to let things slide) b/c I saw that my mom wasn't
happy with her situation nor with my father.  There was a great deal of
tension for many years.  She still works and she likes the money she makes.
(she's a rural mail carrier)  But she has said that she will always regret
the time she lost with us.  And Dad hasn't been any great help either, but
I think he is just beginning to realize what he's been missing for the last
22 years(I'm the oldest).
 
When (and if) I have children, I would like very much to stay with them
for the first 2 years of their lives and then put them in daycare.  From
my personal experiences as a daycare worker, the older children benefit
from it b/c of their development of social skills.  But those infants and
toddlers need their parents during that time.  They need to be able to
establish who is their mom and dad.  That's my preference.  I want to be
there to watch my children take their first step and say their first word
etc.  I don't want some stranger telling me about it.  I would feel as if
I was cheating myself and my child(ren).  But I am not employing this is
the best for everyone; I have just been getting some really negative feelings
toward people who want to stay at home and I felt you need to see why they
do.  I will admit that I really wanted to strangle some of the parents
of those children.  It always looked like they wanted the children, but
not the responsibility of raising them properly (i.e. we had lots of ildiscipli
ned (sp?) children) and the daycare was responsible for disciplining them
without discipining them.  Enough said.
 
Kimberly Faircloth                |x045kf@tamvm1.tamu.edu
Users Consultant                  |kdf8236@tamvm1.tamu.edu
Texas A&M University              |kdf8236@zeus.tamu.edu
(409) 845-8956
"But Soft!  What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick!
           and Juliet is out cold..."
Newsgroups: misc.kids