From: anon-1280@twwells.com (MelancholyChild)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: TIRED
Date: 30 Dec 92 09:32:53 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

hal@netcom.com (Hal Wine) writes:

>In article <C018MC.5Jo@twwells.com> anon-1317@twwells.com writes:

>> i informed a friend about the child
>> abuse in this country- about my own
>> and about the other kinds-- i think
>> he was shocked-- so i apoligized to
>> him--  what for?

>Why should he be shocked?  From the stats I've seen, child sexual
>abuse rates are unfortunately consistant throughout the industrialized
>world.  (I wish it were otherwise.)  This *isn't* an American problem.
>If anything, we're on the leading edge of acknowledging the abuse and
>developing treatment programs.

It *is* shocking, and nobody wants to hear about it.

Speaking of industrialized countries...

I've been shocked to find out how bad the problem in in Canada. It's
the last country in the world I'd expect to see having this problem.
As part of my job I see newspaper clippings from all over America and
Canada. Every day I see dozens of clippings about child molestation/
sexual abuse/rape/murder and a fair number of them come from Canada.
In just the past couple of months I've been "following" (secretly
reading, while pretending to work) the stories of a few major cases
in Canada. Corrine Gustavson, 5, sexually abused & murdered in 
Edmonton and Andrea Atkinson, 6, raped and murdered in Toronto, are
two that I'm especially following closely. They haven't found Corinne's
killer yet, and Andrea's alleged murderer is on trial now.

I don't mean to pick on Canada, heaven knows that the USA has horrendous
problems too, but Canadian laws seem to be very easy-going with respect
to child molesters. At least, the sentences seem far too light in many
cases. For instance, to contrast two cases from the two countries, in
Kentucky a woman took her stepfather to court for sexually abusing her
every weekend from the age of 10 until she was 16, I believe. He was
convicted and sentenced to 48 years in prison. In Canada (can't remember
where,) a man who started sexually abusing his daughter when she was
3 (started having intercourse with her when she was 10) and continued
until she was...17, I think, was sentenced to 4 years in prison!

I think the laws are being changed gradually in Canada, so progress
is being made, but I'm constantly shaking my head at the light 
sentences I read about. Not that America is uniform in that regard
either.

Canadians, *please* don't flame me, I would like to hear from people
who can tell me more about this, from a Canadian point-of-view.

Both countries have *big* problems, and both countries seem to let
child molesters out on parole before serving their full sentences.

Every now and then I photocopy articles to read later, so I don't get
fired. I've sometimes wanted to type in these articles, but I was
never sure if anyone else would be interested.

It's so hard to believe what perps do to children. I see these articles
day in and day out, and then come home to read asar, and I think, no
one has any *idea* how common child molestation is. And still, the
majority of it goes unreported, so I only see the tip of the iceberg.

>> and when will society really see the 
>> difference-- when will people start seeing
>> us as surviors and not victims or the ones
>> to blame-- 

>I think this is starting.  I know people are more willing to talk
>about it, because survivors *have* been talking about it.  Laws are
>changing.

Slowly, yes.

>> when will people start saying-- "something
>> must be done- we have a problem here"-- when
>> pigs fly?

>Granted, we need this shouted from every street corner by hoards of
>outraged citizenry.  But, I think I can hear at least a whisper from
>many corners.

You know what I hear? I hear "oh no, not another abuse story." I see
a backlash coming, big time. I think people are getting more sick of
hearing about sexual abuse than becoming outraged. I overheard a 
conversation about the many priests who are finally being confronted
by their victims, and one guy said "shit, there aren't that many
priests in the Catholic church, I wish these people would just shut
up." I had to restrain myself from screaming at him.

I have in front of me an article from the Vancouver Sun titled
"Doubt cast on memories of child sex abuse" and yes, the article
does mention the FMS goons and their priestess, Loftus. It also
mentions an organization I hadn't heard about called VOCAL (Victims
of Child Abuse Legislation) based in Orangevale, California. It's
a scary article, because it seems (to me) to be biased toward the
FMS/VOCAL side. I'll type it in, but I can't say when.

I personally don't feel the situation is going to get past the 
"whisper" stage, and the only shouting I can imagine is from
people who are weary of hearing about it shouting to the victims
to put a lid on it. I see more scepticism (sp?) and less understanding
coming. That's pretty cynical, but that's how I see it.

My own SO, who loves me and supports me, has said things that make
me cringe. He brought up the McMartin Day Care case to me once. Because
of that case, he automatically disbelieves Day Care abuse stories. I
didn't(don't) know enough about the McMartin case to argue with him.
He supported the Foxfire guy (Wigginton?) and, even when I told him
that the guy had been convicted, said "hmmm" as if he thought it was
a frame or something. He doesn't believe that there are any MPs on asar.
I think he thinks that the women yelling "sexual harrassment" at these
US Senators are going overboard (I know that he absolutely refuses to
believe that Inouye...sorry, I don't know how to spell it...the senator
from Hawaii, is guilty of all the sexual harassment claims made against
him.) The thing is, my SO is a wonderful, sensitive, caring and supportive
man. If *he* has trouble beliving this stuff, then I can imagine the rest
of society's viewpoint.

>Thank you for helping to educate -- that's the first step in changing
>society's attitude...

Only time will tell, I suppose. I don't *like* thinking about this stuff
with a cynical mindset, so I hope I'm wrong.



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