From: bhattach@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov (Bidushi Bhattacharya)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian
Subject: Mixed Marriages -- some thoughts
Date: 28 Jan 93 11:09:58
Organization: Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, CA
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov

 
In response to Priti Shah:

> I respond to the series of comments with some bitterness and irritation
> because our lives (and our children's, when we have them) might be just
> a little easier if there were less hostility towards us in the Indian
> community. 

Yeah, seriously, cut us a break!!  This is America.  Why are some people
knocking others' personal choices?

The dilution of culture is inevitable, in my view.  Whether some people
want to face it or not, IAs and IIs have acculturated to some degree anyway.

You really can't guarantee the preservation of our heritage just by
marrying someone from the Subcontinent, especially since South Asia
is so DIVERSE.  Here are the basic points that people often bring up
to support racially homogeneous marriages (if there even is such a
thing in India, where the population is so mixed) and some counter-
points.  By the way, I am speaking as a first-generation IAF (well,
(I'm technically 0th generation since I was born in England and 
moved here when I was 18 months old, but you get my meaning).

1)  PRESERVATION OF LANGUAGE - Most of us IAs speak in English to
    one another and may speak in the language of our parents only
    at home with our parents and their friends.  Many of us don't
    really have a good grasp of Bengali, Hindi, or whichever language
    our parents speak, or if we do speak the language, we don't 
    can't exactly translate the work of Tagore (or pick your 
    favorite Indian author here).  Whether or not we marry IIs/IAs
    or not, this fact does not change.

2)  PRESERVATION OF RELIGION - Even among couples where both partners
    are of the same religion, one may be much more religous than the
    other.  This, too, can create conflicts in bringing up children.
    What's more important than whether your partner is a Hindu, Muslim, 
    Sikh, Jain, Christian, Buddhist, etc., is the desire for worship.
    I can't speak for all religions, but Hindus anyway believe that
    all religions are equally valid, so accepting one's SO's beliefs
    is not a problem.  I know of one II/II couple where one partner
    really doesn't believe in religion at all, and he always give
    his wife a hard time for being a devoted Hindu.  This was an
    arranged marriage.

3)  PRESERVATION OF CULTURE - Are you talking about knowledge of history,
    art, music, religion and such?  Anyone who is interested in these
    things can learn about them, regardless of race.  I would venture
    so far as to say that many IAs are not that familiar with the 
    history, etc. of India and could learn about it with their SOs,
    whether the SOs are of Indian descent or not.

4)  PRESERVATION OF RACE - Are you kidding?  In a part of the world that
    is as racially mixed as South Asia, this seems like a silly reason.
    I really think that the "let's stick together to face oppression"
    reason is a pc way of being racist.

Any thoughts or comments on the above are welcome.

Thanks to all of you who have read all the way through this rather
long posting.

Bidushi Bhattacharya
:-)

bhattach@molly.jpl.nasa.gov

    
    


Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian