From: andsol@owlnet.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg)
Subject: Re: Your First Assignment, Class
Organization: Rice University
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 05:44:26 GMT

In article <robinson-010992103238@psy7.psy.utexas.edu>, robinson@psyvax.psy.utexas.edu (John G. Robinson) writes:
|> Oh, what the heck.  I'll bite.  I'm bored.
|> 
|> In article OgdV5a.5ef@nursing.home.mil, jesokowi@nursing.home.mil (Lt.
|> Commander J. Ervil Sokowicz (ret.)) writes:

[Article and John's Response Deleted]

|> >Yours Truly,
|> > 
|> >                   Lt. Commander J. Ervil Sokowicz (ret.)
|> 
|> Oh, and would you care to explain to me how it is that you retired as an
|> O4?  Could it possibly be because you were an unpromotable sack of garbage?
|>  If you actually did have any buddies killed in Vietnam, I have no doubt
|> that it was because somebody screwed up and put you in charge of the fire
|> team.  Too bad you weren't walking point.
|> 
|> Sokowicz.  Heh.  More likely a retired commie spy.
|> 
|> ----------
|> 
|> How'd I do, teach?  Do I get an A?  Huh?  No?  How 'bout if I beg?  How
|> 'bout if I call your office and pester you every five minutes?  How 'bout
|> if I go to the Dean with a sexual harassment charge?

You do not get an 'A'.  You do not get an 'F'.  You get a round, happy, jolly,
goose-egg.  Nada.  Nillo.  YOU LOSE.  Don't worry, though.  You beat the mean.

Sorry, John, but this is absolutely the *wrong* kind of flame to issue to
this kind of fellow.  Why?  Let's pick up on some subtle clues:

|> Oh, what the heck.  I'll bite.  I'm bored.

Bad John!  Wrong-headed, sputum-encrusted John!  Never, EVER post just
because you are bored.  You have to WANT to flame.  As the commercial says,
'Do you have The Love?'

|> Commander J. Ervil Sokowicz (ret.)) writes:

Uh-oh.  The military.  Heap Bad Juju, Sahib.

>naem 'alt.flame'.  My interest was piqued, so I subscribed, thinking to
>myself, 'Hey, maybe there will be some good discussions on pyrotechnics
>or fire control!" 

Here is your first clue: this is military guy who is very interested in things
that burn or explode.  DANGER JOHN ROBINSON.

  Ever hear about the Osprey aircraft that Congress is pushing through, even
  though the Pentagon doesn't want the stupid thing?

You are telling a potentially psychotic career military man about one of the
biggest flushes in the history of porcelain.  You are opening a can of worms.
Hairy, venomous worms.

>buddies died for you jerks in Vietnam, and this is one hell of a way that
>you are repaying them.

Vietnam, eh?  Crap -- DUCK AND COVER!!

John!  What are you doing?!  Get down, John!! NOOOOOOooooooo......

  Oh, and would you care to explain to me how it is that you retired as an
  O4?  Could it possibly be because you were an unpromotable sack of garbage?
   If you actually did have any buddies killed in Vietnam, I have no doubt
  that it was because somebody screwed up and put you in charge of the fire
  team.  Too bad you weren't walking point.

  Sokowicz.  Heh.  More likely a retired commie spy.

Ooh, that did it.  Game Over.

*****************************************************************************

See, here's the deal.  It was an okay flame, alright -- you were mean, you
were acrid, you got personal -- but you did it to the WRONG GUY.

Using the patented Solberg Futurotron Helmet, we will peek ahead one week
into this potential reality to see the outcome of your rash actions.

<Scene: John Robinson sits alone in his room.  There is a knock at the door.>

John: <putting away his Butt-Potato [TM]> Who is it?

Voice: Mr. Robinson?

John: Yes?

Voice: ... Mr. John G. Robinson, of UT?

John: Yes?

Door: BLAMMO!

<Lt. Commander J. Ervil Sokowicz stands in the doorway, adorned with all
 manner of implements of destruction.  There is a glaze in his eyes.>

Sokowicz: YOU -- YOU *PIG*!  I WILL *KEEL* YOU!!

John: No!  Don't do it!

Sokowicz: You shouldn't have made fun of my Vietnam buddies!!

John: You pyscho!  Go away!

Sokowicz: <advancing> My...my poor pals....lying in the rice paddy.... Jocko!
  Where's your leg?....Can ya HEAR THE CHOPPERS?!  CAN YA?!

John:  NO!  AH!  NOT THE POWER DRILL!!

Sokowicz: THIS IS FOR YOU, JOCKO!  DIE SLOW, GOOK!  

Power Drill: VnnnnnnnnnnnnRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......

John:  AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh.........*urk*......

Power Drill: .....RRRRRRRRRRRnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......

<pause>

John's Skull: Squicka-squicka-squicka........     

***************************************************************************

Ew!  Not pretty, eh?  

Really, though, although it is unlikely that some creepo rat-bastard neo-
nazi will actually try to track you down and visit violence upon your reedy
body, it is certainly possible that they will do other nasty things -- call
your sysad and get your account closed, for one, or call the USENET people
and do some real damage.  And our retired colonel is just the man for the job.

There are two morals to this story:

       1)  There are some people who it is best to SIMPLY NOT FLAME.  Or,
           if you prefer, flame them in some subtle way where they cannot
           take violent offence.  This is better, clearly -- it seems a
           real shame to leave this sucker unmolested.
       2)  John, you gave it the old college try, but you failed.  As penance,
           you must write an epitaph to Mr. Steve Franklin's late 
           net.presence.  And you must be *nice*.

Wow, am I ever a harsh disciplinarian........



-- 
Andrew Solberg          |"If I were your wife I'd poison your tea!" 
Undying University Mooch|              Anon. Outraged British Woman
andsol@owlnet.rice.edu  |"And if I were your husband I'd drink it!"
Phone:713-529-8627      |              Winston Churchill

			
Newsgroups: alt.flame