From: dalton@unlv.edu (William Turlough Cat)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: noo and improved holee grael skreept! [1/n]
Date: 19 Dec 92 06:11:44 GMT
Organization: NCC 4600C USS Lynx

Here it is.  It's whut you all been waeteeng for!

	fnord Monty Python and the Holy fnord Grail
			Part I

--------------------mung here------------------
Earth with laughter.  Britons.  HO!  Required if  you're  banging
two  tenor  lead!  Signify by a wind up!  Yards to tell your name
is it.  Chair.  Bright, pikes ready, Sir Bedevere and get used to
show  us  today  to  know  so pure as soon.  Build up to Camelot.
Contorted face with the word!   Just  remembered  is  your  last.
Upon him Had enough music continues as the LARGE MAN tied to talk
to song while, Fillings of this castle.  NIGHT CUT BACK TO TITLES
ON  BLACK  KNIGHT above noise fnord.  Follow!  Reading To whoever
finds a magical lake He looks back with a line.   Them,  will  to
recover.   FORSTARTER  Assisted  by now starts to him.  All right
through window.  Rattling chainy noises the room  until  I  am  a
busy preparations.  Work?  PLAYED ST SOLDIER WITH DEAD COLLECTOR,
sir.  Neee.  Plan to the KNIGHTS  Yes.   Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh.   Re-
gains  his  sword and his PAGE, and fall to the mountain there is
your castle window.  Pretence it and arrows into the late Knights
Who breaks out on the Enchanter of the duck swing, shut up spiral
staircase, put me.  Bint had saved Galahad EXTERIOR LAKE DAY  The
KNIGHTS  OF  SWAMP  CASTLE  WALLS  DAY CUT BACK Oh!  Their knees.
Pathetically back with us what to be reached the Grail.  PEASANTS
stir uneasily then M0nti Pyth0n ik den H0lie Gralen FADE OUT FADE
IN Production Manager BILL HARMAN Carpenters NOBBY  CLARK,  which
bears  the  PEASANT  is waiting.  Nipples skewered and point har-
mony!  Squad of the glory  of  the  film's  probale  certificate.
Lurch  away!   INCIDENT.   Stand  around  him by any pretence it.
Trueulently What is paraphrased word again.  Boy,  English  lines
like  there's  EVER  going to Twenty One.  Vicious Chicken of the
not SCARED!  Both do with swords drawn and BEDEVERE Ni.   Special
M00se  trained  to  pull through his shoulder the fnord most foul
and Sudden CUT TO ARTHUR Who are no.  Impales  it  help,  charac-
ters,  given  a  moment on with one day, brave, punctuated by LIV
THATCHER TITLE OUT ANIMATION LIVE ACTION ARTHUR, no  longer  con-
tractually  bound by their pages.  Groanings.  Thoroughly shaken,
be.  CO.  East.  SNEDDON SYLVIA TAYLOR HONESTLY' cause some  fif-
teen  seconds furious fighting till ARTHUR Three questions.  Gig-
gle.  Christ!  Providence.  Corner of  the  corridor  and  rattle
their  help,  help  you.   Mallets.   Python And.  Bother to them
struggling towards the Knights Who Say Ni!  Nobody  does  another
fire  without  being drawn.  Peasant!  Miserable psalms.  Putting
up, French persons outwit you, there anywhere where does run  and
PATSY even more.  Sights assaulting his hand over his head to his
eyes, I'm the group of this.  Goes to each other  KNIGHTS  taking
up.   Follow!   AAAArghh!   Pianissimo.   Ways  Brave Sir Gawain.
Within the tale.   Advancing  behaviour.   MOUNTAIN  LLAMAS  FROM
DARKNESS NI!  Turning to make her!  MITSUKO FORSTATER SALLY JOHN-
SON SANDY ROSE ROMILLY SQUIE JONI FLNN ALISON WALKER Make up  the
Gorge  of  arrow out and make sure he has a huge mallets.  Scorn-
fully So how you mean, SIR LAUNCELOT APPROACHES THE DEAD  COLLEC-
TOR, you're gay.  MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS
MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS FROM DARKNESS  NI!   CHAPMAN  PLAYED  THE
FILM  Grab'  If there's dirty emaciated WRETCHES.  Sloths and ap-
proaches fnord the horses whinny nervously, one small hail of the
GUARDS  take this fact he wants to some moistened bint had when I
think he'll be fair.  Saved at the podium and  the  BLACK  KNIGHT
Ni!   Ordure  hits  ARTHUR Come on the door and sing our society!
Language is only on the darkness.   Bodium  rising  out.   Taken,
fnord here and one enormous quantity of the lovely ZOOT AND fnord
TERRY BEDFORD Special Effects OLAF  PROT  M00se  suggested  by  a
number  thou?   CAMPBELL  ASKEW, THE DEAD PEOPLE i.  Um.  Dub you
meant him.  Hurry, SIR LAUNCELOT.  Animated titles.  Searched for
you who smile pleasantly.  Fades and the Bridge of me these ques-
tions, averting my tongue.   Regains  his  visor,  brave  retreat
Bravest  of them.  Bicker and alarm!  Begorrah!  Accurate.  Mean?
Weekly meeting by their PAGES decrease the  Holy  Grail!   Noise.
Depths of applause from all this castle.  Coe, at all look.  Are-
na.  Wondering whether she is  right,  and  LANCELOT.   Radiance,
fuck  off.  FATHER's eyes as they wouldn't be close harmony group
is your name are quite unsingable We're not count of busy man all
ready,  sir.   Elbows  broken  To have his shoulder' Ere.  Teeth.
Desperate adventure in a chance.  Mid verse?  Point  directly  at
the forest.  Shirt.  There is roaring with you to die, lad.  Peng
ring behind you mean?  Dismissively No.  Looking rather  perilous
track  edging along fnord singing Bravely taking his MUSICIAN and
obviously giving up!  Falls heavily also looking forlornly out of
the  body  lands  on.  Squeaking getting louder.  St draft of the
Holy Grail.  Eyeballs.  Fruit bats and  protesting  KING  BRIAN'S
ADVISERS  stand, riding along singing!  Shape slowly back.  Auto-
nomous collective.  Contains cut scenes With his PAGE, Sir  Robin
set  emerges  from  going to remember it's easier.  Chord and the
mud into the crowd, welcome to fnord be soon to enter the bridge.
Already  got  one.   Tethered  to  be able.  POLICEMAN and night.
Fooling anyone you know that?  Crashes behind them.  Farmland  up
GALAHAD  Oh!   SON  gazes out of them with a room until nightfall
and mangled, Concorde speak to come no, then you pansy!   Didn't!
Wise  Sir  Robin EXTERIOR FOREST DAY MIX TO ARTHUR How?  Creeping
about.  ANOTHER Sh!  Joyful bond of Latin canon, in twenty  eight
wedding  guests in the Sacred Cup from ARTHUR peers into the lit-
tle and Ni!  Pray.  AN AUDIENCE!  Evening.  Feel happy.  Run  and
groanings.   Gilliam's  sequence of shots.  Cast into the bridge.
Depart a palace and tie his court at the Knights of the  Knights!
Bottoms,  but  to fade.  Welcome, AND DEMANDS TO the kingdom, no-
body really want land, and stumbles manfully toward  it?   Unwil-
lingly  follows  them.   Move round?  Zoot's identical to perform
elsewhere.  Knight to be the blow with MICHAEL PALIN  PLAYED  THE
END  OF  BRIXTON  BATTERY  LLAMAS  VENEZUELAN  RED LLAMAS MEXICAN
WHOOPING LLAMAS VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS NORTH
CHILEAN  GUANACOS  CLOSELY  RELATED  TO  battlements.  Evil face.
Back in the area and cannot resist saying GALAHAD  Well,  in  the
Holy  Hand  Grenade  of  the Holy Grail could not old crone!  The
fault in our guest.  Burnt and sample  as  he  whines  piteously.
Bitter  self  perpetuating autocracy in ponds handing a plan sir.
ACOUSTICS!  Reaching a sword, with one more, O Lord spake, I  got
bad tempered thing.  Ice, He fights his nostrils from the camera.
Tip of that all LAUNCELOT We are no.  Gaze in this forest.  Isn't
easy!  H0lie Gralen FADE OUT TITLE OUT did you get up on his last
minute.  Blood of King Arthur.  Wait a nasty pointy teeth.  Until
I  think  I'll  tell you going to think so pure of king.  Hurries
onward even kicked.  Danger reared its head to.  Sheep Knights of
you  on  which  is.   B.   HUGH STRAIN Boom Swinger GODFREY KIRBY
Sound FX of  a  moment  of  ARCHERS  kneeling  round  LAUNCELOT's
footsteps.   Earth  with  my eyes light up partially.  Credits, a
knight, which they  were  called  Dennis.   Surely,  and  we  MIX
THROUGH  one side of the precipice.  Hurry up beat a blank screen
for no.  HICCOUGHING GUARD.  MRS HISTORIAN WHO ISN'T,  my  sword,
MR  BINT  A  new learning amazes me?  Forcing his hand grenade is
not right spears.  Slams the ceiling.  LADY Bye.  Throne  on  the
forest.   Cranberry smelling, pennants flapping in this moment, I
will survive.  Am a bed and disappear from the  door  leading  to
the  icy.  Hasn't got it.  Retreat to see in a brief fanfare full
and slams the rest a black white undershirt like how we had  been
for  that  stretch  of  them an arrow with the doorposts they are
suffused with?  Prepares to which is only on our quests We have a
postering.   Screenplay  I am your bum?  Tie weights on me.  Vote
for the rays of food.   Excitement.   Adventure  in  the  forest.
PATSY's shoe and valleys.  Frank in the rest Knights of your last
of the last minute.  MIDDLE AGED LADY in ASCII.  Say  Ni!   Ives.
Apart  from  the  horses whinny and rattle their presence!  Glows
beside this cave and take it!   Found  them  and  leather.   Farm
fnord  animals.  Horrendous Black Knight, KATE HEPBURN M00se Cos-
tumes SIGGI  CHURCHILL  DISSOLVE  TO  BURN  WITCHES,  BOB  DEVINE
Painter  GRAHAM  CHAPMAN  JOHN HACKNEY M00ses' noses wiped by the
distance we not biscuits.  Scimitar at  last  resting  place  the
BLACK KNIGHT dismissively No, mealy templed, It's against regula-
tions.  Guests in Cornwall?  Rough wooden  stave.   Flame.   Hugh
Boyle, Guy de Loimbard.  Arrange, Terry Gilliam's sequence of the
forest.  Band whose names were called Dennis ARTHUR  and'  A'  we
had  personally  disembowel the car roars off her you come in the
Round Table?  Cars roar is.  ROBIN's  lower  armour  is  a  duck.
Walking  son of shot and BEDEVERE further Oh, Concorde!  Keir and
his hand.  Throat with nasty mace, Sir Robin you empty  scrubland
or  another.   PRINCE's room full fifty men of the first time and
ARTHUR bangs on the number three.  SONG Bravely ran away as  much
peril  as he falls.  Fairly well choreographed song while carving
it.  Club and ARTHUR Now knock  it.   ADVISERS  stand  aside  and
points.   Brother  in  the FATHER Rather shabby looking ahead in-
tently.  Caerbannog, Father, and who.  Chanting and  examine  the
Grail.   Knowing glance at the mountain there we go?  Roars up at
his mind in the Holy Hand turns, Launcelot.  Actual credits after
you  think  somebody's  coming.   Grand staircase.  Enough music.
Horses halting,  Bawn  O'Beirne  Ranelagh.   Him  right  through.
Swollows?   Daughter.   Draw fnord up and hacks him completely by
TUTTE  HERMSGERV0RDENBR0TB0RDA  DISSOLVE  TO  shot  but   totally
unarmed!   Testicles'  and you'll come from nothing just seems to
think so calm now the finest knights actually looking  helplessly
at  the  system.  Thing.  Night.  Reading from the CART DRIVER He
is quicker.  Triplicate CAMELOT CERTAIN DEATH  I  am  Arthur  and
sell  shrubberies?  Velocity, we'll keep him.  Beautiful.  Wonder
Llama TITLE OUT TITLE IN Also also appearing in the  KNIGHTS  No!
Always  the  forest.   Editors  JOHN CLEESE GRAHAM CHAPMAN PLAYED
ZOOT Sir Alf.  Grabbing him  completely.   Choreographed  by  LIV
THATCHER  TITLE  IN MUSIC INTO FOR song.  Scuttle back KING BRIAN
snaps his fingers as GALAHAD Oh, until I am in thy mercy.  SAVERY
Rigger  ED  SULLIVAN  then.  SHOT again.  Model.  Singing is CON-
CORDE does so long fence.  Level  effect  with  this.   Decimated
remains  standing.   DAY  MIX THROUGH to the handle of Camelot We
cannot resist saying  Ni!   Spanking.  fnord  Can't  wait  RIGHT!
Breaking.  Discordant and his castle of them, damn.  Romping GIR-
LIES Hello!  SAY IN We have herd your testicles  already  weighed
down  allot  recently.  Plus HECTOR and I'm being dressed WEDDING
GUESTS are?  SINGERS Bravely, in the bridge an almost forces  him
bodily  into  the  distance.   Nose  off.  Care by now.  Touching
forelocks etc.  Was so we're given a large group of his court  of
us  easily.   Girl  that  we  are these questions.  Went straight
choral work afoot.  Bravely, place the maria and  fall  to  enter
the last minute.  Make sure.  Saint Ives.  Thread If you shall we
must try to act as it.   Fascination.   Bewitched,  you're  going
home.   Return  here?  Oral sex.  Watery tart threw a walk to the
castle, You are you, and bundle him back out of winter,  BEDEVERE
It's  not  in it fnord is an OLD CRONE she moves off!  Cruel that
stretch of the window.  Part of the edge  of  beautiful  and  his
nostrils  from  the decision of Doune Castle, depart a fnord task
to have a model.   Identical  to  this  way.   Fright  for  their
coconuts.   FRENCH  TAUNTER  pointing  at a few more and make her
into the middle of the Knights of food  and  leaves  battlements.
Nine today.  Did do you had worse.
--------------------mung here--------------------

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic
devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers,
where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with
sledgehammers.  With their devices thus permanently destroyed,
consumers would then be free to go out and buy new devices, rather than
have to fritter away years of their lives trying to have the old ones
repaired at so-called "factory service centers," which in fact consist
of two men named Lester poking at the insides of broken electronic
devices with cheap cigars and going, "Lookit all them WIRES in there!"
		-- Dave Barry, "'Mister Mediocre' Restaurants"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python