From: hanhvo@convex.com (Hanh Vo)
Subject: [Jokes] Ho^` Chi' Minh jokes ( part IV )
Organization: CONVEX Computer Corporation, Richardson, Tx., USA
Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1992 19:00:57 GMT
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.



   O+? mo^.t dda.i ddo^.i bo^. binh no. , ddo^`ng chi' chi'nh tri. vie^n
te^n la` Na(m va` chi. ca'n bo^. ha^.u ca^`n Sa'u dda~ dde^? y' thu+o+ng
nhau tu+` la^u nhu+ng ca? hai kho^ng ai da'm le^n tie^'ng ngo~ lo+`i tru+o+'c
vi` chi'nh sa'ch " tam khoan " cu?a ba'c Ho^` va` dda?ng lu'c na`o cu~ng
va(ng va(?ng be^n tai . ( tam khoan co' nghi~a la` ne^'u chu+a ye^u thi` 
khoan ye^u , ne^'u lo+~ ye^u ro^`i thi` khoan cu+o+'i , ma` ne^'u dda~ cu+o+'i
ro^`i thi` khoan dde? ) Vi` va^.y , anh Na(m va` chi. Sa'u kho^ng da'm to? ra
mo^.t cu+? chi? gi` dde^? ngu+o+`i kha'c nghi ngo+` vi` ne^'u ca?i le^.nh ba'c
va` dda?ng thi` se~ mang ho.a ru+o+'c kho^? va`o tha^n . Ti`nh ca?m cu?a 2 
ngu+o+`i cu+' tie^'p tu.c trong im la(.ng va` ca^m ni'n nhu+ va^.y cho dde^'n
mo^.t ho^m tie^?u ddoa`n ddu+o+.c le^.nh le^n ddu+o+`ng va`o Nam dde^? bo^?
sung qua^n so^' cho mo^.t ddo+n vi. vu+`a mo+'i bi. thie^.t ha.i na(.ng ne^`.

   DDu+o+`ng va`o Nam tha^.t la` gian lao , kho^? so+? . Ngoa`i vie^.c ba(ng
ru+`ng , vu+o+.t suo^'i , co`n pha?i cho^'ng la.i bie^'t bao be^.nh ta^.t ,
a(n uo^'ng pha?i ha.n che^' , co`n pha?i luo^n la^~n tro^'n ca'c phi co+
tha'm thi'nh va` ca'c oanh ta.c co+ nga`y dde^m ddang ri`nh ra^.p . Trong
hoa`n ca?nh na`y , anh Na(m va` chi. Sa'u dde^`u co' cu`ng mo^.t y' nghi~ la`
tu+o+ng lai se~ ra^'t to^'i ta^m va` mu` mi.t .

   Mo^.t dde^m no. , ddo+n vi. ddang du+`ng qua^n nghi? dde^m trong ru+`ng,
anh Na(m tru+o+'c khi tro+`i to^'i dda~ cha^'m to.a ddo^. bie^'t cho^~ ngu?
cu?a chi. Sa'u . Qua' nu+~a dde^m , khi mo.i ngu+o+`i dde^`u ngu? say , anh
bo` dde^'n ngay cho^'c cho^~ chi. Sa'u na(`m, chui va`o trong cha(n cu?a chi. .
Chi. Sa'u ddang ngu? say , tu+o+?ng la` thu' du+~ hoa?ng ho^'t gia^.t mi`nh
da^.y , anh Na(m la^'y tay bi.t mie^.ng chi. Sa'u la.i khe? no'i :

     " Suuy.t .....anh dda^y em , anh Na(m dda^y "

  Chi. Sa'u mo+? ma('t to le^n va` nhi`n tha^'y anh Na(m ne^n cu~ng ye^n
ta^m nhu+ng so+. se^.t run run ho?i :

     " Anh Na(m ... anh la`m gi` o+? dda^y va^.y ??? Tro+? ve^` cho^~ nhanh
       le^n , ke?o ngu+o+`i kha'c tha^'y ddu+o+.c thi` che^'t ..."

     " Sa'u !!! Anh dda~ bie^'t em thu+o+ng anh tu+` la^u , nhu+ng cu~ng nhu+
       anh , kho^ng da'm no'i ra ti`nh ca?m cu?a mi`nh. DDe^m nay la` co+ ho^.i
       duy nha^'t , ne^'u chu'ng mi`nh kho^ng ye^u nhau thi` se~ kho^ng co`n
       di.p nu+~a "

  Chi. Sa'u cu~ng bie^'t mi`nh thu+o+ng anh Na(m, nhu+ng vi` so+. ba'c, so+.
dda?ng ho+n so+. cha me. ne^n quye^'t lie^.t tu+` cho^'i :

     " Kho^ng ddu+o+.c dda^u !!!!! Anh dda~ bie^'t ba'c Ho^` dda~ da(.n 
       chu'ng ta pha?i tam khoan , anh la` mo^.t chi'nh tri. vie^n, dda'ng le~
       pha?i la`m gu+o+ng cho ca'c ngu+o+`i kha'c , ta.i sao la.i muo^'n
       tra'i lo+`i ba'c nhu+ va^.y "

  Tha^'y chi. Sa'u cu+o+ng quye^'t nhu+ va^.y , anh Na(m 2 tay so+` soa.ng,
vuo^'t ve ngu+o+`i chi. Sa'u , nho? gio.ng thuye^'t phu.c :

     " Lo+`i ba'c da(.n la` lu'c chu'ng ta co`n o+? ngoa`i Ba('c ki`a . Ba^y
       gio+` thi` kha'c ro^`i . Ho+n nu+~a , em cu~ng tha^'y tu+o+ng lai
       chu'ng ta kho^ng bie^'t ddi ve^` dda^u , co' co`n ma.ng so^'ng dde^?
       tro+? ve^` hay kho^ng ? Em ha~y nghe lo+`i anh cho anh mo^.t la^`n 
       na`y ddi nghe "

     " Em dda~ no'i kho^ng ddu+o+.c la` kho^ng ddu+o+.c . Anh tro+? ve^` cho^~
       ngay . Ne^'u kho^ng, em se~ la lo+'n le^n "

   Tru+o+'c su+. cu+o+ng quye^'t cu?a chi. Sa'u anh Na(m ha^.m hu+.c bo` ve^`
cho^~ ngu? . Ve^` pha^`n chi. Sa'u , khi anh Na(m ddi ro^`i na(`m suy nghi~
lung tung . La^`n dda^`u tie^n ddu+o+.c mo^.t ngu+o+`i kha'c pha'i so+` soa.ng,
vuo^'t ve , chi. co' mo^.t ca?m gia'c rung ddo^.ng kho' ta?. Nghi~ la.i tha^'y 
anh Na(m no'i ra^'t ddu'ng , ba.n be` mi`nh bao nhie^u ddu+'a va`o Nam bi.
che^'t hoa(.c ma^'t ti'ch , chu+a co' ai so^'ng so't tro+? ve^` ca? , tu+o+ng
lai cha('c mi`nh cu~ng va^.y . Pha^`n vi` thie^'u ti`nh ca?m gia ddi`nh va`
ba.n tha^n , ne^'u co' ngu+o+`i an u?i , sa(n so'c mi`nh trong nhu+~ng lu'c
na`y thi` hay bie^'t ma^'y . Chi. che'p mie^.ng tie^'c re? : " U+` ... bie^'t
va^.y ho^`i na?y ddu+`ng dduo^?i anh a^'y , dde^? anh a^'y muo^'n la`m gi`
thi` la`m ................" . Ro^`i chi. ngu? thie^'p ddi .

   Ve^` pha^`n anh Na(m, tro+? ve^` cho^~ ngu? va^~n co`n ha^.m hu+.c, ta^'m
tu+'c .Cha(?ng tha` kho^ng qua ddu+o+.c thi` tho^i, dda~ qua ro^`i ma` kho^ng
a(n ddu+o+.c thi` tu+'c kho^ng chi.u ddu+o+.c . Ho+n nu+~a, la^`n dda^`u 
tie^n ddu+o+.c so+` va`o da thi.t mo^.t ngu+o+`i kha'c pha'i la`m con lo+.n
lo`ng ta(ng le^n khu?ng khie^'p, anh tra(`n tro.c xoay qua , xoay la.i va^~n
ngu? kho^ng ddu+o+.c . Cuo^'i cu`ng, anh quye^'t ddi.nh mo+? cuo^.c to^?ng
ta^'n co^ng ddo+.t 2 . Anh chui qua cho^~ chi. Sa'u, chui va`o cha(n va`
ma.nh da.n 2 tay xoa na('n ddu`i chi. Sa'u . Chi. Sa'u gia^.t mi`nh da^.y,
nhu+ng bie^'t cha('c la` anh Na(m ne^n ma('t va^~n lim dim ngo~ lo+`i cu+.
tuye^.t nhu+ng ra^'t ye^'u :

   " DDu+`ng anh Na(m o+i , anh nho+' lo+`i ba'c Ho^` kho^ng ?? Ba'c Ho^`
     ba?o chu'ng ta tam khoan ma` . Khoan anh Na(m o+i ......"

   Anh Na(m tha^'y su+. ye^'u dduo^'i cu?a chi. Sa'u ne^n ho+i tho+? ga^'p
ru't, ba`n tay run ra^?y ta^'n co^ng ma.nh the^m .

   " Khoan anh Na(m o+i !!! Ba'c Ho^` ba?o khoan ma` , khoan anh Na(m o+i!!
     ba'c Ho^` ba?o khoan ma` "

   Ba`n tay anh Na(m di chuye^?n nhanh va` tie^'n le^n phi'a tre^n tu+` tu+`.
Chi. Sa'u ho+i tho+? ho^?n he^?n , gio.ng no'i ye^'u dduo^'i , ga^'p ru't
da^`n :

   " Khoan anh Na(m o+i ....Ba'c Ho^` ba?o khoan ma` ....khoan anh Na(m o+i...
     ba'c Ho^` ba?o khoan ma` .... ba'c Ho^` ba?o khoan ... ba'c Ho^` ba?o 
     khoan .... ba'c khoan ba?o Ho^` ..... ba'c Ho^` ba?o khoan ...........
     ........ ba'c Ho^`ba?o khoan .... ba'c khoan ba?o Ho^`.... Ho^` ba?o 
     khoan ..... khoan ba?o Ho^` ..... Ho^` ba?o khoan ...... khoan ba?o
     Ho^` .... o^ .....o^ .....o^ ....... Ho^` la` Ho^` khoan ..... khoan la`
     khoan Ho^` ..... Ho^` la` Ho^` khoan .... khoan la` khoan Ho^` ......
     Ho^` khoan , khoan Ho^`, Ho^` khoan , khoan Ho^`, Ho^` khoan , 
     khoan Ho^`..............................."



                                                   Ha.nh Vo^`