HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: greg@netcom.com (Greg Bullough)
Subject: Re: relationship gone to pot?
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 21:51:47 GMT

In article <9680158@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> jws@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (John Schmidt) writes:
>In soc.singles, shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller) writes:
>> 
>> My suggestion would be to try to find a way to weed out people who are
>> addicted to something.  I don't have a concrete way to describe how to
>> do that.  I think that you will be much happier, though, if your
>> relationships work or fail on their own merits, and not due to some
>> outside influence more powerful than your partner.
>> 
>
>Teri's advice is excellent. It's best to avoid relationships with people
>who have addictive personalities. Unfortunately, it may take some time for
>you to realize that the person you have fallen for is addicted to alcohol,
>drugs, or some other self-destructive...
 
All this is well-intentioned, but I believe that we're playing a bit fast and
free with terms which have a number of different meanings.
 
"Addicted to something" can mean "addicted and currently in the grips of that
addiction" or "addicted and currently managing their addiction." Conventional
wisdom says that a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in 20 years has
an addiction to alcohol, none the less.
 
"Addictive personalities" can mean nothing more than a *tendency* to form
physical or psychological dependencies. How a person *manages* that tendency
is far more important than anything else. Just as some people must manage
a short temper, a negative childhood experience, or any one of a number of
factors which influence personality.
 
Finally, the tendency towards certain addictions seem to have a physiological
and genetic component. And a number of addictions seem to be contain a number
of sub-types; it isn't fair to say that all alcoholics have the same genetic
antecedant or the same expression of their genotype in their personalities.
Because they don't.
 
It strikes me as particularly cynical to reject relationships with all who
are clinically addicted, but recovering, or who have a recognizable tendency
towards addictive behavior. To do so is to thrust us back into the old
moral model of addiction, which current thinking says is misplaced.
 
What is important is how a person manages their own life, with all of its
virtues and challenges. I don't think that Teri and John mean it that way,
but if we were to take what they're saying literally, we must reject someone
who says "I'm an alcoholic, and I've been sober for 8 years." And if we
do that, what kind of message are we sending about our faith in people's
ability to grow, and about acceptance of human frailties? 
 
My contention would be that, in a case where the above statement results
in a rejection, it is not the recovering addict who is seriously impaired
with respect to being ready for a relationship of commitment. It is more
likely the one doing the rejecting who is stunted, and who doesn't know
themselves very well. 
 
Greg
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: Embarrasment of the Day
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 92 09:55:02 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <JMD.92Sep25122447@lion.bear.com> jmd@bear.com (Josh Diamond) writes:
>In article <#c9n+zq@lynx.unm.edu> blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes:
>   Last time I tried to point out that a woman was 'exposing' herself, I
>   got accused of being a lech and voyeur. Funny thing is, that same sort
>   of thing also happend the time before, and the time before that.
>   Pretty soon I just gave up.
>Is it possible that to these women you showed up as a 'lech and
>voyeur'.  Maybe something about your method of communication?

Actually, no, I'm a pretty decent person about it. :)
What I do now is just tell a woman to tell the other woman that they have
bits exposed. The woman doesn't feel as bad about hearing about it from 
another woman, her potential embarrasement is saved, and I'm not accused
of being a lech.
r.

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: BARBIE DOES IT AGAIN!!!!
Date: Thu, 01 Oct 92 07:18:11 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <MARTINC.92Sep30231203@grover.cs.unc.edu> martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>In article <BvEp74.7z7@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>   But--math class _is_ hard!  I never did figger out algebra.  
>   (Category theory, on the other hand, now that's easy.  Topology too.)
>I'm glad someone else thinks so.  Except I can't decide if I like
>toposes or topoi better.

You realize that talking about Topology is rather twisted, but, to answer
Charlie, I prefer topless.
:)
r.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: wkaufman@us.oracle.com (William Kaufman)
Subject: Re: The Engagement Ring Question (was .. Psychobitch from Hell)
Organization: Oracle Corporation, Redwood Shores CA
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 06:10:46 GMT
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by an unauthenticated user
              at Oracle Corporation.  The opinions expressed are those
              of the user and not necessarily those of Oracle.

In article <72726@apple.Apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
] wkaufman@us.oracle.com (William Kaufman) writes:
] 
] >    (Myself, I'd hope my future bride was so immaterialistic[1] that
] >she'd be indifferent between an expensive ring and one from a
] >Crackerjack box.)
] 
] >    ([1] - Is that a word?  Or did I just call her a Berkeleyan
] >philosopher?)
] 
] You just hoped for a virtual bride.

    Oh, well.  At least I know that, if she fell into a black hole,
she'd find her way out.

    But, on the other hand, the money I save on the engagement ring I'd
have to spend on the gogles, gloves and other VR equipment,...  (BTW,
what's the state of teledildonics nowadays?)

                                           -- Bill K.

Bill Kaufman               | "ENJOY LIFE!
wkaufman@us.oracle.com     |           -- Eat out more often."
                           |                           -- S. E. Rykoff
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: 27 Sep 92 18:59:10 GMT
	<MARTINC.92Sep19102941@grover.cs.unc.edu>
	<ewright.717102379@convex.convex.com>
	<thurlow.717569206@convex.convex.com>
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: thurlow@convex.com's message of 27 Sep 92 04:46:46 GMT

In article <thurlow.717569206@convex.convex.com> thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow) writes:

   [First reason: Ed treats other people like warmed-over dog vomit.]

   The second one is more pragmatic.  You could do better with many women
   simply by paying more attention to your personal hygiene.  You can be
   a Renaissance Man, but that doesn't mean you have to smell like a horse.
   This seems to come up a lot in talking to almost anyone who knows you,
   and it is certainly not that hard to address.  Sometimes I wonder if
   part of the appeal of athletes you resent so much is to do with the
   fact that they actually take showers.

And in article <MARTINC.92Sep26170548@grover.cs.unc.edu> I said:

   Whereas I see Ed [as] one of those fellows you see around who wear
   all black clothes [etc]....  They usually don't bathe enough either.

*Bingo*!  Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner.

Or a weiner.

Something like that.

(Rob: does he really wear a lot of black too?)
--
Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu/(ne crm@cs.duke.edu) 
O/Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
H/3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"I am he who walks the States with a barb'd tongue, questioning every
one I meet,/Who are you that wanted only to be told what you knew
before?/ Who are you that wanted only a book to join you in your
nonsense?"  _Leaves of Grass_ xxiii.4.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: boys in their thirties who never dated
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 17:46:20 GMT

In article <DANIEL.92Sep29104418@algol.clsi.COM> daniel@clsi.COM (Daniel Barclay) writes:
>
>>> Father Edward shall smote the deamons.
>                 ^^^^^^^^^^^
>I believe the conjugation is "shall smite".
>
>
>>> Smote thine enemies.
>   ^^^^^
>I believe the conjugation is "Smite".
>
>
 
 Smite, Smith, Smyth. 
In Naperville it's smote ya heretic.
 
 OK so you smite be right as opposed to Wright. Right?

 
================================================================================
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ap.5238@cupid.sai.com
Subject: What are you doing this Friday night?
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 01:17:52 GMT


Attention all ladies:

How does a lovely evening by the light of a small campfire sound?
How about by the light of a bonfire?
A 30 foot bonfire?  

Maybe not romantic, but different...

Scharpenberg Hall will be hosting its Second Annual Post Bonfire Party  
this Friday night on the Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology.  Immediately  
after the lighting of the bonfire.  Officially the party will be DRY  
(alcohol free).  

*Music & Dance
*Upperclassmen residence hall
*Refreshments served
*Additional refreshments served in some rooms

Considering Rose-Hulman is an all-male school, female guests would be  
preferred as guests by most of the students.  

When:  Friday, October 2, 1992 (this Friday)
Time:  Immediately following the lighting of the bonfire (about 9:15 PM)
Where:	Scharpenberg Hall
	Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
	5500 Wabash Avenue
	Terre Haute, Indiana 47803

Hope to see you there.

				Marky
From: just me
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: To all Christian girls
Date: 3 Oct 92 00:11:15 GMT
Organization: Faith in Action


 I am getting closer to my thirties, and being a genuinly trying Christian man
I constantly have a problem to see where there are all those young sporty
Christian girls ...  I know many other people have this or similar problem -
don't you girls also find it difficult to find the right guy ?
I was already trying to get an introduction service for young Christians going,
but with no success - I only had a few guys interested to register, no girls
whatsoever ! So what ? I suspect there is a great deal of passivity among you !
And the other thing is probably in this such an important decision of
everyone's  life many people just separate their religion from their search of
their partner of the lifetime. It is bad, I mean, it is very bad for me...
There is maybe a psychological aspect to this, but shouldn't we try to change
the world ?
Well, i'd rather quit this posting before it would sound too confusing.
Just give me your opinion if you feel like that,...
God bless you all !
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: The Four Food Groups (was: something else)
Date: 6 Oct 92 21:41:49 GMT
Article-I.D.: usenet.Bvpyxp.2D6
Organization: Indiana University

>kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Me) claims:
>>And with a diet like this it's no wonder Spidey can't count.
>>The four food groups are actually Pizza, Chocolate, Ice Cream, & Barbecue.

nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (Nance Colucci) writes:

>Oh pfui.  The four food groups are lobster, bagels, pistachio nuts, and
>chocolate pudding.

>In college they were caffeine, ketchup, nicotene, and weiner winks
>(dorm food.)

It's no wonder you turned out the way you did.

-- 
"Stop and think before belittlin' / that deeply visceral food, the chitlin
 Yes, it _is_ a pork intestine. / Makes it specially interestin'.
 You may find it hard infra dig, / but it worked wonders for the pig."

 ........................Roy Blount, Jr "Song to Chitlins" from _Soupsongs_
-- 

Kiran Wagle                           <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine)
Subject: Re: Asking advice
Organization: Bill 'n' Opus for Prez
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 14:24:22 GMT

In article <BRUCE.92Sep30134750@suprenum.supr.scm.liv.ac.uk> bruce@supr.scm.liv.ac.uk (Bruce Stephens) writes:
>>>>>> On 29 Sep 92 22:57:12 GMT, johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) said:
>> In article <90937@netnews.upenn.edu> crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:
>>| Yay!  A sane response!
>> I must be slipping.  Is there somethin' goin' round?
>No, we're all normal here.

Deja vu is the feeling you've seen the same joke before.


Deja vu is the feeling you've seen the same joke before.
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
specification is that it should run noiselessly.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: morton@rtpnet06.rtp.dg.com (John R. Morton)
Subject: Re: In need of advice...
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 92 10:30:11 GMT
Organization: Data General Corporation, RTP, NC.
Keywords: confusion depression rejection alienation lonleinessation etc...


[what do women want from a man these days !]

Male perspective:
	Zero stress, intense diversion, help.

	John

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 07:27:13 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <ewright.717658749@convex.convex.com> ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:
>In <bf#pvxd@lynx.unm.edu> blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes:
>>Have you ever been to a ball game? Experienced the sights, sounds, smells,
>>flavours, activities? Bit into a dog you could swear has been boiling since
>>the Kennedy administration, smothered in mustard and kraut, a tepid drink
>>nearby, as the pitcher takes his time, delivers a well timed pitch that the
>>batter swings and takes the ball over the fence? The roar of the crowd as the
>>ball flies out of the park? The excitement in the air?
>Sounds like Dante's description of Hell.

Dante liked baseball?
:)
r.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright)
Subject: Re: Exercise mania ( was: The great fitness debate)
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 00:12:12 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <MARTINC.92Oct1090438@grover.cs.unc.edu> martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:

>But I included you in the
>"all-or-nothing crowd" because you seemed to be saying that everyone who
>had spoken well of exercise recently had been speaking well of 3 hour a
>day total-fitness lean-and-mean etc.  If that's not what  you were
>saying I'm sorry.

Well, that would explain the "all" part of your tongue-lashing.
But, since he never advocated "nothing," where did that part
come from?  Or did "all-or-nothing crowd" just sound snazzier
than "all-or-something crowd?"

>I did then say that EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT MODERATION WAS TRUE.
>Exercise is important; some moderation is *also* important.  Okay?

Okay, but don't overdue the moderation, either.

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jdnicoll@watyew.uwaterloo.ca (James Davis Nicoll)
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Keywords: lime pie
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 01:31:00 GMT

In article <ewright.717475185@convex.convex.com> ewright@convex.com (Edward V. Wright) writes:

	Material deleted

>I'm afraid I don't have any first knowledge of social life in Silicon
>Valley.  The only knowledge I do have is what I've gotten from movies
>and television. 

	Movie description deleted
>
>I realize that, like everything that comes out of Hollywood, this
>is undoubtedly exaggerated.  On the other hand, I know that there
>are a lot of surfboards manufactured and sold in California.  I also
>know that Los Angeles and San Francisco have their own baseball/football
>teams and that the seats are not empty for every game.  You may not go
>to football and baseball games, but somebody must.  I also know from
>recruiting brochures that a lot of Silicon Valley companies have their
>own fitness centers; I assume that there are independent health clubs
>as well.

	Movies are fiction (As you obviously realise). Why take their
model of courtship as any more accurate  than their views of how computers
work? Their mate foraging schemes  work because the writers make it work
that way. Off the net, using fiction derived behaviors seems to  run the
risk that  the  fiction being used is a poor model of the real world.
 
>>Well, I guess that's as good an excuse as any for giving up.  :-)
>
>Who said I'm giving up?  As the (C&W, sorry) song says, even a long
>shot is better than no shot at all.  I'm just trying to refute 
>the silly notion that if I haven't found somebody already it must 
>mean I'm not really trying.  That and the idea that if I meet women
>who are interested in sports I must be "spending all my time handing
>out around health clubs."

	What *is* your foraging pattern? The difference  between
your experiences and  mine (and other people's, judging by responses) 
make me wonder why difference arises. Conversation and attractiveness
criteria seem quite narrow as you report them, compared  to the
standards of Southern Ontario and the question  of whether the difference
is  in  your environment or perhaps in your perception of your  
environment seems to  be in order. 

	Anyone in his neighborhood have similar experiences?

							James Nicoll
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Good movies ...
Organization: AT&T
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:12:22 GMT


Someone asked for suggestions for movies to see on a date.  Here's
my three cents:

Currently playing (in the Chicago area anyway):

-Sneakers (good especially for the computer-interested)
-A League of Their Own
-Single White Female

To rent:

-Dutch (it's also on cable and I though it was pretty cute)
-The Prince of Tides
-Basic Instinct

To aviod:

-Honey I Blew Up the Kid


-Nance
-- 
Nance Colucci  *^*^*^*^*^*    o__    *^*^*^*^*  |  Work that body!
att!ihlpk!colucci            _.>/               | Stay fit for life.
                            (_) \(_)                           
Xref: sparky soc.singles:26678 soc.men:17066 soc.women:17149 soc.motss:40994
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.men,soc.women,soc.motss,unm.general
Subject: My God! Less than a week away!
Date: 29 Sep 92 15:52:44 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque


Yes! Less than a week away to BALLOONBOINK!
Albuquerque, NM, October 3rd-4th! 
Meet Interesting Net People! See Hundreds Of Colorful Hot-Air Ballons!
Consume Mass Quantities! Enjoy Many Banana Oriented Activities! :)
Lurkers Welcome! :)

Seriously- if you find yourself asking yourself, What Am I Going To Do
This Weekend, consider heading to Beautiful Albuquerque, NM for this
exciting event. If you live in Dallas, Ft. Worth, Oklahoma City, Denver,
Las Vegas, Phoenix or any point in between you're within 13 driving hours
of Albuquerque. Take a day off from work- come join the fun!
There isn't any hotel space left, but >free< (Yes, gratis, no cost, free!)
crash space is available. It'll be a good time. Please join in the fun!

If you're interested, please reply to either:
blowfish@carina.unm.edu
or
hays@technet.nm.org
for more information! We're looking forward to meeting you!
r.
From: brentaa@ac.dal.ca (brent, eh?)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Nice guys getting flamed (was Re:Relationship gone to pot?)
Date: 6 Oct 92 12:05:57 -0300
Distribution: na
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1992Oct5.224651.1105@netcom.com>, greg@netcom.com (Greg Bullough) writes:
> 
> But if you're a Nice Guy in [tm] sense of the word, you simply have yourself
> convinced that you don't WANT to be around those 'other losers,' when the
> truth is that they have already rejected you.

Sorry, I don't see the difference.  If they have "rejected" me, then that is
their perogative, if they don't want to hang with me, why should I waste
my energy on them.  There is no reason to, so I don't.  Besides, not even
a Nice Guy[tm] wants to be friends with _everybody_
> 
>>besides, the girls love Nice Guys[tm],I wouldn't want to be anything else
>>(I've tried, I know)
> 
> Ah, but how have you done with *women*? 

Oopps...I tend to use the two interchangably, bad habit, very PI, I'll try
and do better next time....
>  
> If you "became" a "Nice Guy" after being a "Slimebag," you probably are 
> nice (meaning decent, not boring) guy, but you probably aren't a Nice Guy[tm].
> On the other hand, saying, "since your present boyfriend doesn't treat you
> well, try me, I'll be more understanding" is a classic Nice Guy[tm] gambit.
> Usually followed by either (on her part) "I like you as a friend, but I'm
> not ready for another relationship just now," or "last night <insert ex-
> boyfriend's name here> and I got back together."
> 
Well, I consider myself a Nice Guy[tm], though perhaps I have a little more
depth than the classic version.  As for being a Slimebag, well, it's a
really long story.....
I do get the "just friends" and such lines sometimes, but I also get 
positive replies once in a while, and anyway, just friends is ussually
just fine with me  :-)


> Ah, futility.
Yes, but the fun is in the effort, not in the achievement, so futility
is irrelevant
> 
>>So what are you???  hmmmm?
>  
> A reformed Nice Guy[tm].
No problem with that, whatever works for you
> 
>>				-Brontosaur the reformed Slimebag
> 
> You ought to do something about that hump.
> 
HEY!, I worked hard for that, don't make fun of it.....:-( 
					-Brontosaur the slightly misunderstood

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: GCTHORNE@idbsu.idbsu.edu (Broward Horne)
Subject:      Re: Rejectance
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 92 12:38:45 MST
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From: myhui@bnr.ca (Michael Hui)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Acceptance!
Date: 27 Sep 92 20:08:11 GMT
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd., Ottawa, Canada

Today, GCTHORNE@idbsu.idbsu.edu ("Broward " Bail Out " Horne") wrote:

>>       SAVIN/LITTON/TERADYNE/HP ( choose one )  I got a line.

>The key is to stay long enough in school and launch yourself into
>industry at the right entry level. Then, you'll find lots of

        You seem to misunderstood my post.  How unusual. :)

        Savin/Litton/Teradyne/HP as an aggregate have managed to
    WASTE 15 years of my life.  I leave it to YOU to prove me wrong.

    Stay in school long enough?!   Hmmm.  I wouldn't have thought
    that 200 semester units@ 3.8GPA would have been enough.  How
    much longer do ya suppose?

    I don't THINK so.
Newsgroups: soc.singles