HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: russ@bbx.basis.com (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Would Russ sell out?
Keywords: Losers
Date: 13 Apr 92 13:44:02 GMT
Organization: BASIS International, Albuquerque NM

In article <1992Apr13.010207.9701@talon.ucs.orst.edu> tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford) writes:
>I had a dream, and in that dream the tv was running.  A commercial
>came on.  Someone was giving a heartfelt testimonial for a new
>granola and carob cake.  I didn't pay much attention until the
>announcer mentioned that we were listening to Russ Kepler!

*Carob*?  *Granola*?  In the words from someone's .sig, but I like 'em
enough to quote: "I didn't claw my way up the food chain to eat
veggies!"  Granola can be pretty good if they go easy on the oats and
grains and replace them with nuts and dates.

I'm sort of a meat man - red and juicy, dripping with blood as I tear
the flesh from bones, giant slugs of partially chewed meat forced down
my throat by the sheer weight of the meat and blood behind it.

Medium rare, please.  

>I think I've either been reading the net too much or drinking an 
>inappropriate amount.

Could be, or maybe those recreational chemicals.

>ObBob: Crusoe

Sorry, but wasn't that a Rob?


Oh, yeah, on "selling out" - I'm amazed that you would go so far as to
impugn my honor, sir, by suggesting that I'd give up my postion on the
evolutionary ladder for a mere suggestion of money.  [It didn't
suggest just how much, did it?]

ObBob: Oppenheimer

-- 
Russ Kepler, Basis International Ltd. russ@bbx.basis.com  phone: 505-345-5232
From: djones@megatest.UUCP (Dave Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: professors, a.k.a. "teachers"
Date: 3 Apr 92 00:52:49 GMT
Organization: Megatest Corporation, San Jose, Ca

From article <10125@cernvax.cern.ch>, by steveb@cernvax.cern.ch (Steve Bougerolle):

> Peeve:  People who show up at university and say "here I am, teach me!"
> Where do you think you are, kindergarten?

About ten years ago, I undertook a visiting associate professorship
at a medium large midwestern university. I wasn't really up for it,
but the U. was desperate and I was desperate for a change of locale, so
I decided to give it a go.

Quickly, I became very interested in the process. In my
own college days I had studied math at U.T. Austin and The U. of Houston where
the profs used the "Texas method", which was actually invented by a Greek guy
named Socrates. The gist of it is that you have to figure things out for
yourself, but the teacher asks really good questions. Should I try my
hand at the technique, I asked myself Socraticly?

An old friend advised me that I was in for a shock. Things had changed.
Most high school graduates, he informed me, were virtual illiterates.
Okay. The Socratic method is no respecter of ignorance. Ignorance is
opportunity, like an empty cup.

I decided to use the technique, but only very sparingly.

At the end of the first quarter, the students were asked to fill out
anonymous teacher-evaluations. Although I was not comfortable with the
idea of encouraging anonymous letters - (only cowards write anonymous
letters) - I looked forward to reading them. This was the pay-back for
months of hard work - the heartfelt thanks of those I had helped along
life's road of discovery.

When I started reading however, my mood quickly descended
from happy to stoic to despondent. Talk show hosts don't get as much
nasty, semi-literate hate mail in a year. One I remember in particular
gave me an "F--" and said, "I paid money for the teacher, but he makes
you learn things he should teach you."
From: SEK@psuvm.psu.edu (Sonja Kueppers)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lust from afar
Date: 13 Apr 92 21:01:18 GMT
Article-I.D.: psuvm.92104.170118SEK
 <92103.205659SEK@psuvm.psu.edu> <kujb1sINNhjd@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>
Organization: Penn State University


In article <kujb1sINNhjd@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>, banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs
before cooking) says:
>
>Fooling nobody, (sonJa Kueppers) writes:
>
>MOMMMMMIIEEEE! <sniff> They're pickin' on me 'cuz I'm trying to be
>politically correct.  Waah!

I rarely try to be politically correct.

>Check it out!  Another "nice" girl.  Are you, by any chance, a "nice,"
>church-going girl that swallows?  How about a nice, church-going,
>swallowing-but-never-slurping, white cotton pantied, crisp silk over
>erect nippled, lights out at night only, melts for a Scottish accent,
>confession every Tuesday girl?

Nope.  I'm an atheist.  I do have some white cotton panties, but my mother
bought them for me 5 years ago.  I only wear them when I haven't done my
laundry recently enough to have anything else that's suitable for daily
wear.  (Some of my underwear is, ah, meant to be removed quickly.)

I only have one silk shirt, and it's plaid.  It's not very crisp.

Lights out at night only?  I can't remember the last time I had sex with
the lights out.  (I must admit that I haven't had sex at any times in the
middle of the afternoon recently. *sigh*)

Scottish accent?  Hmm, the only time I can recall chatting with someone
who had a scottish accent was waiting to get through the berlin wall a few
years ago.  They were both charming, and if my cousin hadn't been waiting
for me (she lives in west berlin, so she was in a different line), I would
probably have joined them for drinks.  The accent didn't particularly
make an impression, however.

Confession?  Never been to confession in my life.  Not only am I an atheist,
so are my parents.

>                             It's obvious, sonJa.  This woman knew
>your affiliation with the LGBSA and was interested in some serious
>muffin munching.  An attempt to jaw victory from the snatch of defeat.

Unfortunately, I carried on a conversation with her for about an hour,
using all our secret recognition signals, and she didn't bite.  :-)

>>(How do I know this?  Because I was one of the girls he was supposedly
>>hitting on.  He told me about it.  I'm pretty sure he isn't romantically
>>interested in me; we just enjoy making fun of each other.  :-)
>
>Pardon me.  Your niavete is showing.

There's a difference between having sexual tension in a relationship and
being romantically interested.  Sexual tension is present in *many* of
my relationships with other people, while romantic interest is much less
prevalent.

Peeve: People who don't understand the difference between sex and love.

-Sonja
-----------------------------Sonja Kueppers------------------------------
|SEK@PSUVM (bitnet)            ____  "Sex should be friendly.  Otherwise|
|SEK@PSUVM.psu.edu             \bi/   stick to mechanical toys; it's    |
|MaBellNet: (814) 867-1805      \/    more sanitary." TEFL, Heinlein    |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: skod@trenco.Eng.Sun.COM (Scott Griffith, Sun Lumpyware)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Just One Jammie-jar
Summary: Oh, now I've finally arrived...
Keywords: Sticky, end
Date: 14 Apr 92 23:58:00 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems Inc., Mountain View, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: trenco

In article <kumf7cINNl8@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>, banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:

> "The good thing about meeting two Microsoft executives while naked is
> you can shake both their hands at once."   -- Scott Griffith

Now, this is a most unfortunate misquote. At the risk of being termed
a mindless pedant, I must set the record straight: what I actually
said was, "The good thing about meeting two Microsoft executives while
naked is that you can shake hands with both of them at once."

A subtle, but nonetheless important, distinction. Particularly if one
is also given a choice of precisely which executives...

We now return you to your regularly scheduled bouts of ploonkin' the
ol' magic twanger.

-skod


--
Scott Griffith, Sun Microsystems Lumpyware
Who didn't have _anything_ to do with the 386i...
Nope, not a bit. Nothing at all. Not me, nosir. Nope.
Return Path : skod@trenco.Eng.Sun.COM
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: For the AviationallyChallenged
Date: 7 Apr 92 09:51:24 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper


some Unfortunate sot, or nosy, was confused as to
what a C-130 sounds like:

1. the Wind when the engines are off.

Otherwise:

2. Consider all of the AviationSounds that ever were,
and Ever will be, and Ever Even MIGHT be heard in the
faintest glistening of some "Will build Aircraft for Food"
AeroNauticEgiNerdsWettestFantesy, Run them on an Infinite
PlayBackLoop through the CarStereoSpeakers of one of those
NeatoKeano<Idon'tGetLaidOftenButIhaveTheseGreatSpeakersInMyToyCarWhichAffordMeTheIllusionOfActualBodyContactAndMotionThatIhopeWillAccompanyMyFirstRealSexualEncounterWithARealLiveHumanPersonOtherThanMyPhellanges>WayQoolCars

And then Stuff that AuditoryEncounter Between the wingSpars
and Just "turn it UP!"

You Now have the basic encounter with the 

LOVE SONG of a C-130.

ciao
drieux

ObPeeve:PinHeads who have never hopped lifts in C-130's
and their LowLifeScumBleedingHeartWimpLiberalKneeJerkBrainDead questions.
From: SEK@psuvm.psu.edu (Sonja Kueppers)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions
Date: 9 Apr 92 22:24:04 GMT
Article-I.D.: psuvm.92100.182404SEK
Organization: Penn State University

In article <s268kINNj22@stanley.cis.Brown.EDU>, cgy@cs.brown.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
says:
>
>Peeve: people who use the word "gender" in place of "sex."
>
>             but lately it's come to include a buttload of uptight young
>feminazis who think prissy=liberated,

Me?  a feminazi?  Me?  prissy?  *giggle* *chuckle* *chortle* *howl*
*fall on the floor laughing*

Peeve: That I can't peeve when I'm rolling on the floor laughing.

-Sonja
-----------------------------Sonja Kueppers------------------------------
|SEK@PSUVM (bitnet)            ____  "Sex should be friendly.  Otherwise|
|SEK@PSUVM.psu.edu             \bi/   stick to mechanical toys; it's    |
|MaBellNet: (814) 867-1805      \/    more sanitary." TEFL, Heinlein    |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:8008 soc.veterans:512 soc.singles:11245
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,soc.veterans,soc.singles
Subject: Re: WHY DO THEY DO IT!!!!
Date: 14 Apr 92 18:28:31 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <1992Apr13.010429.1583@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
>
[conversation abt. his girlfriend's inability to care abt. military decoration.]
>I want Collar Tabs, I want epillets, I want pips, I want
>USEFUL TACTICAL INFORMATION!!!!!
>
>Where Do women LEARN their Unit Identification Skills!!!!


Loehmann's, you grammatically impaired git. They learn it at Loehmann's.
"She had this little Chanel suit, you know. It was fashionable about
a year ago. It did not go well with her Dooney handbag and certainly
not with those Joan & David saddleshoes. Oh, but the Hermes scarf was
divine."

Only women and Tom Wolfe are able to identify what kind of money
we are talking about in rags and rocks. OK, maybe Paul Fussel. (sp?)

War/high fashion. Its all the same thing. Its about money.

Peeve: My wardrobe is giving out.

!Peeve: I finally found out that there is not one, but several Loehmann's
branches around the SF Bay Area and, once I have time, I intend to make
a field trip.

ObWeapon: A fully loaded Dooney bag across the chops.

ER
--
*"I mean it could make a big difference in your life if you thought that 
*you didn't need to depend on some musty old dogma thats riddled with
*translation problems, and started acting from the center of your own being."
*					-Owen Rowley
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: mather@sees.bangor.ac.uk (Tories Out!)
Subject: Re: Screams of a billion banshees
Organization: Centre for Applied Obfuscation.
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Summary: Come home to a real soaking...
Keywords: rain, rain, rain, rain
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 15:35:06 GMT

In article <19727@castle.ed.ac.uk>, egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
> In article <19715@castle.ed.ac.uk> fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:

> >April Showers? April bloody Showers? 
> 
> Farbeit from me to be the third successive Embran to peeve along
> identical lines but the fact is that the weather here was designed by a
> god intent on increasing the suicide rates.  I mean, I used to think
> that English weather was temperamental but Scottish weather is just
> mental!  We had better weather than this in JANUARY.  We had better
> weather than this during the ICE AGE.  

Bah!  Forget that drizzle you get up there in Scotland and come to
North Wales and discover what REAL demoniac rain is like!

Cheers,

Paul.
-- 
e-mail: p.mather@sees.bangor.ac.uk

If your mailer can't reach me, I'm obviously not worth talking to.
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Turbo
Date: 9 Apr 92 15:43:40 GMT
Distribution: alt.peeves
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

bobm@anasaz.UUCP (Bob Maccione) writes:

>One of the latest auto peeves that I've seen is the cellular phone that
>blows the car horn when the phone rings ( assuming you are away from the
>car ).

Y'all have gotten those only recently?  Yawn.

Please correct your news software - you have a domain now.

Say "Hi" to Rusty from Kissing Cousin Six Sugar Sugar Sugar.
-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"It's not an adult feature unless someone's gooey at the end."
 -- Bill Hicks
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thursday, 9 Apr 1992 09:42:17 EDT
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Short gals--->Tall guys

In article <9APR199200292053@rigel.tamu.edu>, rwb7054@rigel.tamu.edu (BARRETT,
ROBERT WAMBLE, JR) says:
>
>Peeve: Short girls(under 5'4") who go out with the guys who are 6'10"
[etc.  talks about how all the girls he could ask out are dating tall guys]

So why don't you ask out women taller than yourself?  While my fiance and
I are the same height, I'm a lot bigger than he is.  Yes, it does look
untraditional, but how cute you look together isn't everything.  (In fact,
it isn't even most things.  Someone I know dated a guy last year who
*looked* really good with her.  Didn't mean they managed to stand being
in the same room together.)

(Incidentally, my fiance and I are both 5'8".  I wear bigger shoes, hats,
 gloves, rings, and clothes than he does.  Though in a private setting,
 I look cute in his t-shirts...  ;-)

Peeve: Moderately intelligent 5'6" tall men who weigh 115 pounds and think
       their girlfriends should:
       1) be shorter than they are
       2) weigh less than they do
       3) act dumber than they are

-Sonja
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Psychology (was: Re: Lawyers not Chemists)
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 92 21:18:21 GMT
Organization: Angry Andy's Spiritual Center and Gun Boutique
Keywords: *WARNING* Psychobable Ranting

In article <20199@castle.ed.ac.uk> egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:

>This reminds me of my summer job packing shelves for Marks and Spencer
>(in High Wycombe, South Bucks Town From Hell).  When asked where I was
>at college, I naively replied Cambridge once and the baffled/hostile
>looks convinced me to suddenly change the path of my career and be a
>dropout from Wycombe College.  When asked what I studied I said Geology
>a number of times but eventually realised that it wasn't worth trying to
>explain that no, I didn't dig up bones and no, I didn't watch that
>fascinating programme about Ancient Egypt the other day.  No it wasn't
>right up my street.  

Peeve: People who think they know what you're interested in and hook you
up with folks with "similar" interests. My present course of studies
involves a great deal of psychology and a great deal of computer stuff.
Having learned my lesson about psychology, when people ask me what I'm
studying I often make the mistake of blithely waving my arm and saying
"computer...stuff..." Without fail, I will be introduced to and abandoned
with someone who "knows" computers. We will have no language in common.

>ObMegaPeeve;  our fucked-up clueless society whereby middle class kids
>are shunned by their peers for doing well at school.  For fucks sake,
>there's more to life than living in High Wycombe, driving a souped up
>Escort, and working as a brickie/receptionist (when the recession isn't
>too bad).

ObMemory: "What, you think you're smart or something? Hey,
Joey, this kid thinks he's smart. Just look at 'im. Yeah, I'll teach you
who's fuckin' smart."
-- 
"When I am introduced to an undertaker I categorize him at once as a
 sanctimonious money-grubbing necrophiliac. I realize this is an unfair
 generalization. I don't care."      -- Lawrence Block
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: Commercials (again)
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 22:40:42 GMT

In article <1992Apr10.092408.9011@talon.ucs.orst.edu> tim@comphy.UUCP (Tim Mefford) writes:
>I'm anxiously awaiting the advent of vegetarian dog and cat food.

i believe it already exists. if not, i'm sure your local vegan society
can advise you on how to help your carnivorous mutt see the light.

>and Spot?  Moral objections to animal cruelty? I'd say forcing a 
>carnivorous animal to eat soy-products is pretty cruel.  Kind of

this was covered in "shirley valentine". a rather good flick for
a lot of reasons.

-l "if you like 'women that won't put up with any guff' movies" p



-- 
-lp **************************************************************************
* What do you tell forever's children when it's their turn to hurt and heal? *
* What ever spins the grim tornado can also turn a potter's wheel.           *
************************************************************** --Bill Danoff *
From: dac@prolix.pub.uu.oz.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: ENO is not a dirty word!
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 92 11:41:03 GMT
Reply-To: munnari!labtam!eyrie!prolix!dac
FollowUp-To: alt.peeves
 <1992Apr12.044504.5098@usage.csd.unsw.OZ.AU>
Keywords: 
Organization: More like Dis~, really.

In article <1992Apr12.044504.5098@usage.csd.unsw.OZ.AU>, Allan Evans writes:

> ObPeeve: they don't sell antacid tablets (like Tums) in 7-11's over here, 
> only $7 bottles of Eno. Doesn't *anyone* get a fucking upset stomach here
> or what????? If they do sell them, and the four "convenience" stores that
> I went to just happened to be out (and manned by non-english speaking
> employees) it wouldn't surprise me.

Tums? Smirk.

Try "Quick Eze" - they're excellent for the relief of
indigestion. If you want something even better, but needs to be
mixed with water, there is this stuff in a brass-coloured tin,
called 'Hardies Indigestion Powder' [or something like that].

Terrific after a hindufest.

!Peeve - The "Jehangir" restaurant, Swinger Hill, Canberra.  BYO.
Excellent Indian food, and a laid back staff.

!Peeve - a suburb called 'Swinger Hill'. Deliciously saucy just
mentioning the damned place! :-)

Peeve - Seven Eleven's!  A recent introduction to Australian
urban decay, and purveyors of alleged foodstuffs, that are all
vastly inflated [pricewise].  Pass.

Dac
--
munnari!labtam!eyrie!prolix!dac      David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
  prolix!dac%eyrie@labtam.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
        dac@prolix.pub.uu.oz.au      I post .
prolix!dac@sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au            . . I am.             +61 6 290 2215
From: bill@wabwrld.UUCP (Bill O'Wrights)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Death Peeve
Date: 13 Apr 92 02:46:13 GMT

I had been having premonitions this last week of my first peeve.  It was
uncanny when it actually came to pass.

Peeve:  My favorite foul-mouthed comic, Sam Kinison, is now playing SRO
        with John Belushi.  My thoughts harken back to one of his shows
        from 1987 (HBO) in which he relates a newspaper story to the
        audience about some homosexuals who had attempted to bribe some
        local LA funeral home directors into letting the homosexuals
        come in at night so that they might bugger the freshest male
        corpses.  Let us hope that good fortune spared the late Mr.
        Kinison such a fate in his death.  "Oh no!  It never ends!!"

!Peeve: Getting a free round-trip travel certificate on Delta today for
        being voluntarily 'bumped' but still getting to my destination
        AHEAD of when I had planned.

Peeve2: I'm sitting in the departure lounge at the airport, enjoying a nice
        piping hot cup of American coffee.  Some little shrimp of a guy
        plops down in one of the other seats in the row, four seats down
        from me.  The seats rock so damn much that the hot coffee splashes
        out onto my lap and a nice new pair of Dockers.  Seeing as how
        English is apparently not in this gent's vocabulary, my protestations
        draw only a blank look.  I guessed that the fellow was from East
        Asia somewhere, possibly Philippines or Singapore.  After I went to
        get some towels with which to wipe myself off, I walked past the
        man and said "An "I'm sorry' would be nice."  Still no comprende.
        Aaarrrggghhh!  Disgusted, I plopped my Big American Self (tm) down
        in my old seat and darn near shot the boor across the room.
        Fortunately, he and I are the only ones in the row at the time and
        I was thus able to exact the aforementioned retribution without
        bothering others.

!Peeve2: Went to see Basic Instincts last night.  Totally unknown to me
         beforehand, Sharon Stone hosts Saturday Night Live.

Peeve3:  I'm out watching Basic Instincts while SNL is airing.  I miss the
         debut SNL-hosting of said goddess from !Peeve2.  Oh well, it'll
         show up as a rerun later on in the season.
From: sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Superfluous andRedundant Debate
Date: 14 Apr 92 19:52:02 GMT

I'm so peeved I've already busted up two keyboards trying to type this
post in. ARRRG! There goes another.

Why why why why why why!? Why on Earth do some people IN-fuckin-SIST
on carrying on a point when they have already swayed my opinion to 
their own point of view?

Case in point. My wife. (Could there be a trend here?)

My daughter is presently battling her second bout of pneumonia in as
many months. The doctors feel that taking her out of daycare for a few weeks
will suffice in recouperating her congestion. This is a problem as wifey and
I both work. I proposed rescheduling (spoken as would Jean-Luc Picard) my
sufficiently flexible job so I can take care of the rugrat 9-5 and work
evenings and weekends. This would save several hundred daycare dollars right
into our pocket so I thought this would be a good idea. Well, Wifey disagrees
and says she would rather SPEND a couple hundred more and have a private 
sitter (the $25K wedding goddess spend money. Go figure:-)  ). Well after
further debate she persuades me to abandon my bright idea by telling me that
if she doesn't complete her real estate course by a rather nearby date we will
lose the $300odd dollars tuition we have already paid. So I tell her so. But
does she desist? (of course not). She has to continue spewing less and less
convincing reasons at me until she feels the issue is more than dead but 
decomposing rather rapidly to boot.

Why why why why why why why!?

She is not the only one who does this. There are enough people  that do this
to indicate to me that there some sort of widespread personality disorder
amongst the population.

Ah! Better.

Scott A. Chasse
"A truth told with bad intent is worse than any lie you can invent."
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:7589 alt.good.news:435