From: yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich)
Subject: Jasons letter
Organization: MIT Lincoln Laboratory
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 92 18:52:47 GMT

>Newsgroups: alt.child-support
>From: larry@ducktales.med.ge.com (Larry Landwehr)
>Summary: Jason's Letter
>
>Alan,
>
>Your ex is good at using guilt.

	That's where you have it wrong.  I'm not sure *what* she thinks
	she's using.  I just can't afford to have my support payment
	tripled or quadrupled if I got dragged into court.  *I* am
	afraid of the court; not her. If it weren't for that, I'd tell them
	all where to go. (tick tock)  I'm tired of being haunted by
	someone I divorced over 10 years ago.  Funny how all she wanted was to
	get away, and now I can't get rid of her!  (tick tock)  If you think
	of it, I've known my present wife for 10 1/2 years.  I knew my
	ex (up to the divorce) about 5 years.  It's taking me longer to
	get rid of her than I've known her.  There are people who comitted
	murders and got life sentences the year my sone was born, who
	are already back out on the street!

	 And I am not guilty of anything.  If anybody should be guilty, 
	it should be her.  

	1) She was the one who deliberately went off the pill to get 
	pregnant because we were having problems, and she thought that
	would keep me.
	2) She was the one who kept me away from him because she was,
	"afraid I'd take him away from her".  This to suit her own
	convenience; not our/her son's benefit.
	3) She was the one who said she wanted no money, or to ever see
	me again.
	4) She was the one who decided all-of-a-sudden, that he "needs"
	me. Funny he didn't need me 10 years ago. (Of course he didn't 
	need me before.  If you have any sense you realize that it was 
	in early childhood that he needed me most.  Now this is just bullshit!)
	5) She is/was the one who changed her mind about the money and
	asks for brace money, etc.  Funny how opinions change.
	6) And of course now my "taking him away" is in no way as important
	as getting rid of him.  Her and her new husband take vacations
	without him.  When he calls to come up it's usually because they
	are going away alone, and he needs somewhere to go.  Nice family.


>What if you were your son?

	Then I wouldn't know any different.  Just like I don't know any
	different than to have a father who was an alcoholic, who would
	lecture me for hours on end to a point of mental exhaustion.
	(8 hours was the record)

>What if you were a young boy reaching out to a father that you
>had never known?

	If he's so gung ho, he'd be using my name. Think about it.  About
	the exhuberance you described in your story.  When a kid
	*REALLY* wants something, they remember stuff and will do
	anything!  This kid just needs a place to go for the weekend.

>What if your mother had prevented you from knowing your father?

	Don't know.  I've asked myself this type of question about my
	son.  I'm not sure he thinks/believes it. If I were him, I'd
	love my mother very much, either out of denial, or of fear
	of losing the *only* support person left. I'm sure he feels
	threatened by her new husband  (emotionally).  He's basically
	said it.

>My brother had a son by his first wife. After they got divorced my
>brother seldom saw his son.
>
>I took my brother's son on a walk one day. We hiked up a mountain.
>It was a pretty good experience.
>
>Jason, my brother's son, talked about that day for months (that's
>what his mother told me later). I was busy with other things and
>shortly after that day I moved to another town.
>
>Two summers ago he died. Someone ran over him with a speed boat
>while he was swimming. They got him to a hospital, but he just
>didn't make it.

	I respect your feelings and your remorse.  But I don't see
	a direct connection to my own story.  And I am not prone
	to react to the sensational while evaluating a situation.

	With all due respect, the fact that Jason died makes no
	bearing on my situation nor implication of guilt on you.


-- 
	Alan Yasutovich
	"inquiring  (and nosey) minds WANT TO KNOW!!!"
	I can remember when "safe sex" meant having a padded headboard!!
	Tick Tock.....Tick Tock......Tick Tock .....Tick Tock......