From: sfjr@wam.umd.edu (Steve Russell)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Boys Will Be Boys
Date: 4 Jan 1993 17:47:08 GMT
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: remarque.berkeley.edu
Originator: muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu

	Being on vacation I've had time to do some general interest/pleasure 
reading as well as listening to various interview shows on the radio and 
television.  The topic of rearing "healthy" boys came up frequently, so I 
thought I'd toss out some of the more interesting points I heard and some 
related items I learned before as well.

>From "Boys Will Be Boys" ( feminist author ) discussed on NPR:

1.  Infants up until about 18 months of age identify themselves with their
    primary caretakers ( usually mothers ).

2.  When an infant's primary caretaker is female, the infants initial identity
    is a "feminine" one.

3.  After 18 months an infant begins a process of mentally seperating itself 
    from its caretaker and forming an anutonomous identity.

4.  For male children/infants this process is more traumatic since it involves
    learning that it is fundamentally differnt from its female caretaker. 
    The male infant/child then "unlearns" it's preliminary "female"     
    identity and starts learning what masculinity is in the process of
    forming it's own autonomous identity.

5.  At the most basic level this process involves disassociating himself
    from anything feminine or associated with the primary female
    caretaker.  As early as age 6 little boys will show a disdain for
    childcare  ( doll playing etc ), little girls etc.

6.  Children who develop a significant capacity for empathy also 
    develop stronger tendancies towards assertive, caring, and
    nonviolent behaviour as adults.

7.  Children ( male *AND* female ) who experience equal primary
    caretaking by both a man and a woman develop greater
    tendencies towards empathy, nonviolence etc.  Male children
    raised in such a manner will not go through a disdain phase
    for females/female related things.


>From a TV News Documentry :

8.  Boys from female headed households with an absence of adequate
    male rolemodels tend to do poorly in school, ie not paying attention
    and willfully bucking the teacher's ( female ) authority.

9.  Such boys improved in academic as well as behavioural discipline
    when exposed to male teachers or other male rolemodels throughout
    the school day.

>From a Washington Post Aritical on Teen Violence:

10.  Most teen violence is perpetuated by male teenagers.  It is
     worse for male teenagers from female headed households and
     far worse in female headed households with a prolonged absence
     of male rolemodels.

11.  In such households it is more likely for a child to attack
     a parent ( female ) when a parent tries to "reestablish"
     parental authority after the violent behaviour starts.


	My *PERSONAL*, *SUPERFICIAL* initial interpretation of these
points is that part of growing up for a boy is learning what
"being a man is all about".  A boy can either do this by example from
a male rolemodel or by negative inferrance.  When done by example a
boy learns there are differances between men and women, but they are
not "exxagerated" differnces.  When done by negative inferrance a boy
will categorically disassociate himself from anything associated with
female rolemodels, beliving that, the extreme anthesis of feminity, is
what masculinity is, in the absence of a male rolemodel displaying
"human" traits shared by both std sex roles ( which the child mistakes
and subsequently rejects as exclusively feminie ).  In other words
children learn first by "monkey see, monkey do".  If there is no role
model to imitate a boy will build a concept of masculinity based on
everything his female rolemodels arent and what examples there are
to be found in peer groups and the media/society ( rambo etc ).  If
a boy has a decent man for a male model in his formative and years
THAT is what he will take as masculinity being.....which is far less
violent then what he sees displayed by media images, peer groups,
and negative inferrance etc.







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