From: Christopher.W.Page@dartmouth.edu (Christopher W. Page)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pern
Subject: Don't like PernMUSH?  Don't read this.
Date: 6 Apr 92 09:48:12 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH


The following little list has been making the rounds of a few select
email accounts, recently, to largely favorable review, and someone
finally suggested I save myself some time and post it here.  It's
actually two lists of 25, the first composed by Shandra, rider of gold
Lemarath, and the second by C'trel, rider of bronze Horvath (moi, and
currently on PernLeave), both of Igen Weyr.
       
Well, _I_ got a kick out of it, anyway.  Hope you do, too. =]
 
                - C

*** 50 ways to Freak out the Non-Pernese ***

25. Giggle for no reason and say your dragon/firelizard just told you a
joke.
24. Yell at the salad bar, 'no firelizards in the coleslaw!'
23. Ask the person next to you if it's their dragon in the football
field.
22. Give the cafeteria manager the dragonrider salute.
21. Look at the hard-boiled eggs, shiver, gasp, and say, 'You're eating
THOSE???'
20. Go to the pub and demand Benden Red.
19. Go to the drugstore and ask for fellis and numbweed.
19A. Inquire if a prescription is needed.
18. Start the toss dance at the Club.
17. Answer the phone, "Hello, Igen Weyr"
16. Answer the phone, "Hello, Harper Hall."
15. Answer the phone, "Hello, bronzerider abuse hotline, may I help
you?"
14. Go to the pub and use 'Wanna help me wash my dragon?' as a pick-up
line.
13. Wear your shoulder knot to class/work.
12. Rank your professor, boss, etc.
11. Stand up in a crowded theatre and yell  "Thread!!!"
10. Consult an astrologist.  Ask if he/she has considered the position
of the	Red Star.
9. Go into a restaurant and order tubers and wherry meat.
8. Pay in marks.
7. Complain in the airport about luggage gone between.
6. Go up to a house and say, "I am the Lord Holder of this region. 
Where is my tithe?"
5. Ask where the nearest sack of firestone might be found.
4. Put a sign on a wooden building, "Not Thread-Safe."
3. Offer to show someone your Threadscore scars.
2. Start a campaign, 'F'lar for Prez.'
1. React to a mating flight with the person next to you.

25. Don't say anything for ten minutes or so, and then explain that
someone was paging you.
24. Ask everyone you meet when the next firelizard hatching is.
23. Wear a button with the slogan "Bronzeriders do it Weyrever".
22. Suddenly burst into a rendition of the Miner Song. ("Yo he yo, pick
pick pick...")
21. Examine every inch of a room when you enter it, and explain that
you're checking for DARK wizards.
20. Whisper things to people in public places, and then act confused
when other people notice.
19. Wear the same clothes two days in a row and explain that you forgot
to change your @desc.
18. Be grumpy at class/work and say you didn't get your morning klah.
17. Whenever anything goes wrong, scream at the top of your lungs for a
wizard.
16. Apply for training in self-esteem counseling and explain on the
application that you want to help blue, green and brown riders.
15. Apply for training in couseling megalomaniacs, and say you want to
help gold and bronzeriders.
14. Complain about the fact that @tel has been disabled.
13. Wonder aloud why God never logs in any more.
12. Call a meteorologist and ask when Thread is due.
11. Act paranoid every time someone walks in the room, and ask in a
loud whisper, "Is that another one of Ken's characters?"
10. Call a pizza place and ask if they can deliver by firelizard.
9. Make non sequiturs every once in a while, and immediately scream
"MAV!!"
8. Go to the nearest computer store and say you want to buy an AIVAS.
7. Thwap people who do pointless and annoying things.
6. Ask for a wherhide jacket at a local clothing store.
5. Get a room at a hotel/motel and ask about tunnel snakes.
4. Suggest a trip to Ista Island for vacation.
3. Demand that all felines be checked for the plague.
2. Be the oldest person in a room, and claim the botspot.
1. Cuddle people in public often....and you can't get more Pernese than
that!


Extremely Basic .sig            
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FFFF CCCC | Support the Federated Commonwealth...|ObInJoke: Marc| 
F    C    |         Kill a Kuritan today!        |appears out of| 
FFFF C    | -------------------------------------|nowhere in a  |
F    C    |  "Back off, man.  I'm a scientist."  |burst of < >  |
F    CCCC |       -- Dr. Peter Venkman           |thunder and   |
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...a more complex .sig coming soon to a mailbox near you!
Pern-Related Email directed to: takkyon@dartmouth.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.q,alt.flame