From: rlpst@cislabs.pitt.edu (Robert L Pack)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Updated Bundy-isms
Date: 16 Dec 92 20:01:06 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

A list songs and quotes from FOX's "Married With Children"

Send additions and  corrections to Bob Pack ( rlpst@cislabs.pitt.edu )

I will post this regularly to Rec.humor and e-mail to people who ask





Bud Turns 18
------------
           
	"At the Nudie bar"
	------------------
	   at the nudie bar
           where you can look at a thigh
           and blacken an eye
           at the nudie bar

           at the nudie bar
           where they show you their butt
           and they keep their trap shut
           at the nudie bar
            
           at the nudie bar
           where you can't touch a breast 
           but you can cave in a chest,
           at the nudie bar
 
           at the nudie bar
           where the beer gives you gas
           but the bundy's kick ass
           at the nudie bar

           at the nudie bar
           Where the music stinks,
           and they water the drinks.
           The nudie bar

	   at the nudie bar
           Where the beer gives you gas
           But the Bundy's KICK ASS.
           the nudie bar

	

	Al: "Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but
	     a woman is only sexy 'til she becomes your wife"



Al's " I Care " song
--------------------

	When hooters giggle around
	and I find nickels on the ground
	I care

	When the Mustang engine purrs
	and the bathroom's not hers
	I care

	When the pitcher's on the mound
	and the wife is underground
	I care.

	But when I've been playing this for days
	I'll kill anyone who stays
	I swear!


Peg vs Jim Jupiter
------------------
	Jim:  " Hi, I'm the healthiest man in Chicago:
	Al:   "Then you should heal quick when I pull your spine through your
	       mouth"

The Bundy's Get a New Kid
-------------------------
	< Peg's cousins left >
	Al: " You let them go. That has to be the stupidest move in
	      history...Well, the second, the first was when I answered
	      the phone the day after we had sex."


	

The Bundy's Keep Seven
-------------------------
	Seven: " Dad, where do babies come from?"
	Al:    " Normally, a 6-pack and 2 horny teenagers"

	Seven: " Dad, what's retirement?"
	Al:    " It's when a woman marries and a man dies"


Peg Buys Tubro
--------------
	Peg: " I need something lucky to rub:
	Bud: " How about Kelly? Every guy that rubs her gets lucky"

	Peg: " What's up with men who have to look at other women
	       when they have us at home?"
	Al:  " Well, sometimes when you drive a Dodge you want to
	       close your eyes and dream it's a Ferrari.



Al Tries to Remember a Song
---------------------------

	Al: "What a life ... can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury the bury the
    	     wife in the back yard."


Bud Dates Teacher
-----------------

< Ding Dong >
	Bud: " A half-hour early. I know how she feels, sometimes I can't wait
               I can't wait to touch myself either...Er, you know what I
	        mean"
	Peg: " I'm afraid we do"



Al Buys Air Conditioner
-----------------------
< Peg cranks air conditioner >

	Al:  " Gentle, Peg, you're not having sex with it"
	
	Peg: " We'll know for sure if it quits after a minute, rolls
	       over and then asks whats on TV.... Well, it might be,	
	       I don't feel a thing."


Unclassified 			--- which shows are these from ?
------------

	Al:  " Nothing spells lovin' like marrying your cousin."



-- 
=================================================================
Bob Pack      			rlpst@cislabs.pitt.edu
University of Pittsburgh	
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Newsgroups: rec.humor