Organization: North Dakota Higher Education Computer Network
Date: Thursday, 16 Apr 1992 14:14:55 CDT
From: <NU169273@NDSUVM1.BITNET>
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.christia
Subject: The Bondage of Deceit

                         The Bondage of Deceit
                         =====================


(A personal testimony of deliverance from a 'pentecostal' experience)
(by a fellow believer in the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.         )

  The Christian world of today stands perplexed concerning the
Charismatic experience, better known as 'the baptism in the Holy
Spirit.'  Some Christian leaders have taken a firm, Biblical stand
against this as being an invalid Christian experience for this age.
Others are receiving and leading many of their people into this
experience.  Still others are asking if this experience is of God and
is it for the individual.

  Being one of the latter questioners, I opened my life to Satan.  I
was raised in a Bible-believing Baptist church.  At the age of ten I
answered the call of the Holy Spirit due to conviction of my sins,
repented of these sins to God the Father, and confessed Jesus Christ
as my Saviour.  Many times during the next twenty years a great hunger
came to my soul to know the Lord better.  Not being a student of the
Word, I did not really understand the simplicity of God's teaching to
"be filled with the Spirit" and "walk in the Spirit"  (Ephesians 5:18;
Galatians 5:16, 5:25).

  In 1967 a friend gave me the book 'They Speak With Other Tongues'.
My spiritual life was at a low ebb, and I was intensely seeking after
God.  I knew I was saved forever, but there seemed to be an emptiness
in my soul.  After reading this book, I began to believe that the
experience of tongues was necessary to fill the spiritual void.  I
began praying for the 'baptism.'  Each time that I asked the Lord to
fill me with His Spirit, a peace and quiet would come over my yearning
soul, but disappointment would soon follow because no tongue came to
prove the filling.  For six years I asked for the experience.  During
1973 I became ill.  The desire for a closer fellowship with the Lord
and to have the power of God upon my life became more intense than
ever before.  I read several books on tongues and the Holy Spirit
baptism, and I began seeking out people who had this experience.  My
husband, a Baptist minister and student of the Word, would explain the
Scriptural teaching on this subject, but my mind was settled that
tongues were the ultimate and only reliable evidence of being Spirit-
filled.  The desire for fulfillment became so strong that I was
miserable.  I felt spiritually starved, and I was drawn to the
Charismatic experience by an unseen power who I supposed was the Holy
Spirit.

  I contacted a Charismatic minister and received the 'laying on of
hands' which brought a most ecstatic experience.  I was very 'high'
emotionally and had many physical sensations and manifestations which
were undoubtedly supernatural.  I had never experienced such a
wonderful feeling -- too different to be merely psychological.  I felt
certain that no one ever before been so happy, contented, and filled
with joy.  Many times since this experience came, the truths of God's
Word have come to me, teaching me that "God is a Spirit:  and they
that worship him must worship him in spirit and truth."  (John 4:24)
Again, His teaching is that "Satan himself is transformed into an
angel of light."  (II Corinthians 11:14)

  Tongues did not come to me with the 'laying on of hands,' but I kept
asking for them.  Two months later they came, accompanied with unusual
happenings.  Each day was a new and 'wonderful experience.'  Prayers
were answered, miraculously and always, in the name of Jesus.  One of
the greatest deceits is the other Jesus Spirits who do not confess
Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord.  (See above II Corinthians 11:4)  At
that time no one could have made me believe that Satan could produce
these happenings although the Word of God says that he is "the prince
of the power of the air," (Ephesians 2:2).

  The week that the tongues came to me, strange happenings occurred
inside my body.  My will had no control over the happenings, and I was
doing nothing to produce them.  Some of the manifestations were lewd
and vile, and my mind was greatly disturbed.  I knew that my God was a
God of righteousness, a God of holiness and purity; yet these
happenings always came after the tongues, which I supposed were
produced by the Holy Spirit.  The tongues were new and exciting, and I
used them frequently at first.  I knew the physical happenings were
Satanic, but I thought he was trying to defeat the wonderful
experience of the Holy Spirit.  I was filled with glory over the
tongues, but at the same time, suffered agony over the constant evil
that prevailed.  I returned to the Charismatic people time after time
for help.  Each time there was the 'laying on of hands' and the
command for Satan to leave me alone.  Although the physical
manifestations never left me, for several days I would have relief
from the mental oppression.  I asked for more tongues, going deeper
into the experience, trying to get away from Satan.  When the glory of
the 'high' was over after each tongues experience, the presence of
evil was more prominent.  Many times it seemed that the entire room
was filled with evil.  I stopped reading God's Word because every time
I would read the name of Jesus or the Holy Spirit, a power of the most
vile intentions would attack me.  I would quickly call upon the name
Jesus Christ to deliver me from this evil.  Praise His Name, He always
heard and answered that plea.

  Several months after receiving the tongues and alternating from day
to day between glory and misery, a still small voice spoke definitely
to me saying that the tongues were a form of Satan-worship.  Being
certain that this was the work of the Holy Spirit, I was horrified
although the suspicion had existed for some time.  One day I would try
to resist the tongues which resulted in oppression.  The next day I
would yield and enjoy the release of emotion and physical pressure
which resulted in a new assurance that the tongues were truly of God.
This battle raged for months.  Becoming increasingly certain that I
was being controlled by Satan, I determined to resist him.  Torment
beyond description followed.  Voices would speak to me about the most
hideous and obscene happenings imaginable.  Horrible suspicions about
my husband and dear Christian friends developed.  I trusted no one;
everyone was evil just as I.  Horrible dreams and nightmares occurred
in which my body was the victim of evil and horror.  Voices said that
I should die because I was corrupt, and God would never use me now.
Sometimes becoming desperate in fear of losing my sanity or life, I
would yield to the tongues which were welling-up within me and
pressing vigorously to express themselves.  Great relief followed
until I refused them expression again.  Many times I called upon the
blood of Christ for deliverance and pleaded the name of Jesus, but
each time I would be thrown on the floor in agony screaming 'No, No!'
or 'Help me!'  Fourteen months after receiving the tongues, I was
ready to take my life.  Although I have a wonderful husband and two
lovely children, I could no longer live in such a wretched condition.
I had constant torment, day and night.

  As a final plea for help, I called a very dear Baptist minister-
friend who knew something of these Satanic workings among God's
people.  I knew him to be one who "walk[s] in the Spirit."  He worked
and prayed with us for about three months, sometimes day and night.
Other ministers prayed with us, sometimes for several hours at a time.
During this time we saw the power of the resurrected Christ
demonstrated against the defeated foes in a most spectacular way.  The
presence and power of the Lord Jesus Christ was manifested in a way
that was wonderful to behold.  Although I had lent myself through
ignorance to the influence of the evil powers of Satan, our Lord never
stopped loving me.  He continued drawing me to Himself, to His purity
and holiness.  He continued drawing me away from the snare of the
enemy.  I will never understand such love as this, but how I praise
Him for it.  I confessed sins as the Holy Spirit revealed them to me.
As I received forgiveness and cleansing under the blood of Jesus, He
also filled every vacuum with His Spirit, causing the evil to recede
because righteousness and evil cannot dwell together.

  It has been a long journey back from this realm of darkness into
which I had gone so deeply, but the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ has
been sufficient to meet every need.  Although I was truly and
sincerely seeking the will of God, and the Holy Spirit was dealing
with me; the forces of the flesh, the world, and the Devil were always
restraining me from serving the Lord Jesus.  I wanted to be a soul-
winner, a good wife, a Christian mother, and to live a Spirit-filled
life, but how to perform that which was good I knew not.  It never
occurred to me that the very enemy that I wanted power against could
deceive me in such a manner.  Because I departed from the teaching of
the Word in asking for a physical and emotional experience, I fell
victim to "seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils"
(I Timothy 4:1).

  This is not a conviction or accusation of others who speak with
tongues, I am only testifying of what is true in my personal
experience as a result of my mind's having been "corrupted from the
simplicity that is in Christ."  (II Corinthians 11:3)  I have many
friends and loved ones in the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement whose
desire is to serve the Lord Jesus Christ.  Some of them still preach
the true Gospel of eternal salvation only through the blood of the
Lord Jesus Christ.  Many of these became very dear to me during the
times of great stress and had a sincere desire to help and encourage
me.

  All the spiritual hunger and vacuums of the past years are being
filled daily as the truths of God's Word find their way into my heart
through the teaching and illumination of the Holy Spirit.  How
precious are the words "In him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead
bodily.  And ye are complete in him," (Colossians 2:9-10).  When Jesus
Christ came into my life, He came in the person of the Holy Spirit who
also represents the Father.  Praise to the Father, the Son, and the
Holy Spirit!  Now I can say that "I am crucified with Christ;
nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me:  and the life
which I now live in the flesh I live by faith of the Son of God, who
loved me, and gave himself for me."  (Galatians 2:20)  I agreed that
"It is God which worketh in you both to will and to do his good
pleasure."  (Philippians 2:13)

  My prayer is that God will use this testimony to help meet the needs
of Christians who have this spiritual void.  Your salvation is full
and complete in Christ.  If you are born-again simply by God's grace
(a free gift), the Holy Spirit, a person, a member of the Godhead
lives within you.  Yield yourself to Him.  Bring your will into
conformity to His will.  Confess every known sin in your life, and ask
Him to fill every vacuum in your being.  Walk this way, day by day, in
conformity with the Holy Spirit.  He will motivate our worship and
praise which is to be directed Heavenward to the throne of God where
our Lord Jesus Christ dwells, not inward toward His indwelling
presence.  BEWARE of spiritual manifestations that are felt in your
body.  God works in the spirit of man.  As we will to conform
                        ^^^^^^
to His will, our minds and bodies will be motivated for service and
worship.  God bless you.


K. Paulson                   ( Saved by His Grace -- unmerited favour)
N. D. S. U. student teacher  ( September 16, 1990.                   )
1109 16th Street North #1
Fargo, ND 58102

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