From: tligman@bgsu.edu (thomas ligman)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: (LONG!)This is the 1500q Purity Test.
Date: 5 Oct 92 19:22:41 GMT
Article-I.D.: andy.Bvnxtz.MvG
Distribution: na
Organization: Bowling Green State Univ.

This is it, I got 90 requests and can't figure out how to compile scripts,
so here it is.  including, during this one time offer, an answer form!


                1500 Point Purity Test                              Page *1* of 42                                  CR N  N @  @                   D N N N  PRINTER                                                       THE UNISEX PURITY TEST
           VERSION 6.6b - 1500 QUESTIONS
 
 
 If you thought the millenial purity test was bad, well you ain't see
 nuttin' yet!

 This is the 1500 point Purity Test!
 
 We felt that the 1000 point version lost a lot of the "fun" of the
 earlier versions, so we re-wrote it, adding a few new sections, and
 a shitload of questions. This test is guaranteed to be nosier that
 your parents, more invasive than the census, and containing something
 to offend everybody.
 
 Also included is an answer form so that you can remember where in the
 test you were, or show to a friend.
 
 Enjoy (and I know you will).
 
    ------------------------------------------
 
 Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed.
 Up with going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love.
 Murphy's law on sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter
 of physics.
 
 This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced
 Research Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force
 Avionics Laboratory. The views and conclusions contained in this
 document should not be interpreted as representing the official
 policies, either expressed or implied, of the Defense Advanced
 Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
 interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually
 performed any of the actions contained herein.
 
 
 Genesis - History:
 
 Version 1 (100) - sometime before 1982
     Created at MIT's Baker House. Two parallel
     versions; one for male, and one for female. Very
     little is known about this version.
 
 Version 2 (247) - spring 1983
     Expanded to 247 questions. This marked the
     beginning of the unisex version. The story goes
     that they intended it to be 250 questions, but got
     tired that night and said "We'll think of three more
     tomorrow," and tomorrow never got there.
 
 Version 3.5 (400) - April 10, 1985
          First formal release. All former versions were
          short-lived and tended to be bug-ridden. Does not
          discriminate against gays or bi's. Added in
          Genesis/History section, instructions, scoring, and
          warranty.
 
 Version 3.5a (400) - April 13, 1985
          Found there were 431 questions instead of 400.
          After an all-night hack sessions, problem was fixed.
 
 Version 3.5c (400) - January 17, 1988
          Finished up at Yale. Final version of the 400 point
          test EVER! Feel special if you own a copy.
 
 Version 4.0 (500) - April 23, 1988
          Those snotty Yale kids thought that 400 wasn't
          enough for them. Added 100 questions "just ta show
          'em."
 
 Version 5.0 (1000) - sometime in the late 80's
          It was decided that 500 questions wasn't enough.
          Created to be the purity test to end all purity
          tests. However, it lost a lot of the "fun" of
          earlier versions and got boring to take.
 
 Version 5.0a (1000) - January 4, 1992
          A copy of the 1000 point version got into my (J. A.
          Pfaff's) hands. Big mistake. Typos were gotten rid
          of and the introduction was made clearer.
 
 Version 6.0 (11??) - April 19, 1992
          First re-vamping of the purity test. We of The
          Erotic Nightmare Revue finally decided that the 1000
          point version was TOO boring. Original goal set for
          1500 questions. Bestiality and Group Sex sections
          added. Extra credit done away with. Never
          released.
 
 Version 6.1 (1179) - April 20, 1992
          Second major rewrite. New goal of 1300 questions.
          RHPS and Kitchen Utensil sections added. Questions
          added here and there. One copy made.
 
 Version 6.2 (1208) - April 21, 1992
          Sections put in more logical order. Questions added
          here and there. One copy made.
 
 Version 6.3 (1275) - April 22, 1992
          Sections re-named to entertain and confuse
          everybody. Genesis/History sections reinstated.
          Never released, but original goal of 1500 looks good
          again.
 
 Version 6.4 (1372) - April 24, 1992
          Cult section added. Introduction from 500 point
          version put back in (it was deleted from 1000 point
          version). Disclaimer added. One copy made.
 
 Version 6.5 (1454) - May 1, 1992
          Time gap between updates due to RHPS playing locally
          and sickness of the editor. The plan was to finish
          before the weekend was over.
 
 Version 6.6 (1500) - May 1, 1992
          We couldn't stand being so close to the end so we
          worked all day. One copy made for checking and
          correcting.
 
 Version 6.6a (1500) - May 3, 1992
          Erased a question from RHPS and added to Kitchen
          Utensils so as to have 42 questions in each section.
          Slight errors edited out. Answer sheet made.
 
 Version 6.6b (1500) - August 17, 1992
          After a "Purity Beta Test Party," we all promptly
          forgot about making the final version. But,
          eventually, we got around to rearranging the
          sections, changing a few questions, and editing
          out every error (that we noticed). This was the
          version released to the general public.
 
 
 Instructions for Use:
 
 This is a fairly long test consisting of 1500 questions. It starts
 out tame and gets progressively worse (or better, depending on your
 viewpoint). There are many ways of going about taking this test. You
 can, of course, as your right, guaranteed by the Constitution,
 be anti-social and sequester yourself in your room and take this test
 all by yourself; however, we feel that the most fun way to utilize
 this test is to hold a Purity Test Party. All you need is one copy of
 the test, and a bunch of friends. (Lots of writing implements and
 paper would be useful too.) The person with the copy of the test is
 the test administrator; s/he reads the questions out loud and
 everybody else writes down their answers. We have no definite rules
 as to whether the participants are required to divulge their answers;
 that is up to the group to decide. However, being open with your
 answers leads to some great conversations. But no matter what you
 decide, each person's purity score should be made common knowledge.
 (The person with the highest score gets to be giggled at for the rest
 of his/her life.) This works great at parties and lets everybody know
 who's easy and who isn't, so you'll know who to go home with. Don't
 leave home without it.
 
 On the whole, this is biased for experience and, hence, age. If you're
 still too young to qualify, well, these things take time. Chaste
 makes waste. Virginity can be cured. Remember: the conjugation is
 "I am erotic, You are kinky, They are perverts"
 
 All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to you
 subsequent to your weaning and babyhood/infancy. Anything that may
 have happened before that time is considered not standing and void.
 
 
 Definitions: (for the innocent, naive, or too busy)
 
 Necking: the kissing or stroking of a persons head or neck, the
    stroking of arms hands or back.
 Petting: the above plus the caressing or fondling of other
    portions of anatomy; through or underneath clothing.
 Sexual activity: all of the above, plus what your puerile
   imagination dreams up. Doesn't necessarily mean penetration (but
    it can).
 Posslq : "person of the opposite sex sharing living quarters."
    Bureaucrat for live-in lover.
 Masturbation: the rubbing/feeling of your genitals. Doesn't need to
    be to orgasm. Can be through clothing.
 Mutual Masturbation: You masturbating your partner and/or you being
    masturbated. Not necessarily both at the same time.
 
 
 Scoring:
 
 This is a yes-or-no test, so just make sure you have noticeably
 different marks for yes and for no. Common ones are an X and an O, a
 check mark and a smiley face, whatever. When you are finished, count
 up all of the "no" answers and divide that number by 15. That is your
 "percentage purity." Or, if you have less "yes" answers than "no,"
 count THOSE up and subtract from 1500. Then divide THAT number by 15.
 
 We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing
 nor failing score. Therefore, one really shouldn't worry too much
 about getting a high score...even if you do get giggled at for the
 rest of your life.
 
          --- ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT ---
 
 And, most of all, this is entertainment. Have as much fun in the
 taking as was had in the making.
 
 
 Note to the test administrator:
 
 Even though we tried to prevent it, this test can get monotonous. Try
 to "liven" it up by adding comments and goofiness wherever you want
 to. Encourage testees to be open with their answers. Taking a break
 is allowed, but not recommended. Plan on a few hours. Order some
 pizza. Get a keg. Have a party.
 
 
        ------------------------------------------
 
         Perverts Anonymous Qualification Exam
       Version 6.6b  02:36.42am   August 17, 1992
     primary writer: Steamed Rhubarb Fondue (J. A. Pfaff)
    contributing writers: Wolvorine (Owen Kuhn), Astra (JAN!),
      and friends and family of The Erotic Nightmare Revue
              Toledo, Ohio, USA
 
        ------------------------------------------
 
 
 
 I. The Lamer Section
   (Good Clean, 'Wholesome' Activities - 90 Questions)
 
    Have you ever:
 
  1. held hands with someone?
  2. hugged somebody?
  3. kissed a friend or stranger as a friendly gesture?
  4. kissed a friend or stranger as an unfriendly gesture?
  5. flirted?
  6. been on a date?
  7. been on a date past one a.m.?
  8. stood someone up?
  9. dated someone on a regular basis?
  10. gone steady?
  11. slam danced?
  12. slow danced?
  13. copped a feel while slow dancing?
  14. tangoed?
  15. waltzed?
  16. lambadaed?
  17. had the symptoms of Russian (rushing) Fingers?
  18. had the symptoms of Roman (roaming) Hands?
  19. asked someone who you were not going out with and had never gone
    out with if he/she was a virgin?
  20. french kissed?
  21. necked?
  22. attended sub races, watched for UFO's, or similar activity?
  23. hot tubbed in mixed company (jacuzzi or hydropool)?
  24. hot tubbed in the nude?
  25. hot tubbed in the nude in mixed company?
  26. while hot tubbing been groped under the water?
  27. while hot tubbing groped someone under the water?
  28. saunaed or steam bathed in mixed company?
  29. in the nude?
  30. in the nude in mixed company?
  31. put suntan lotion, cocoa butter, or baby oil on someone (at beach
    or pool)?
  32. had someone put suntan lotion, cocoa butter, or baby oil on you?
  33. played post office (or other kissing game)?
  34. played pony express (post office with more horsing around)?
  35. played doctor?
  36. played Twister?
  37. played Naked Twister?
  38. been picked up?
  39. picked someone up?
  40. picked up sailors (marines, soldiers)?
  41. had a one night stand?
  42. been hit by a thrown chalk eraser (by the teacher)?
  43. been in intellectual combat with an unarmed person, and not given
    them a running head start?
  44. been on a pub crawl?
  45. slept on watch?
  46. slept in your undies?
  47. slept in the nude?
  48. slept in class?
  49. interrupted a lecture with your snoring?
  50. bundled (archaic, the sharing of sleeping arrangements by persons
    of the opposite sex while clothed. In theory, nothing goes on.)?
  51. played footsie or 'kneesie'?
 52. played footsie or 'kneesie' with someone not your date,
    significant other or spouse?
  53. been unable to share a bed, sleeping bag or other sleeping
    arrangements without something steamy happening?
  54. used tickling as a pickup or getting to know you better activity?
 55. used physical strength, power, prowess (or lack thereof), as a
    pickup or getting to know you better routine?
  56. lusted in your heart for someone without their knowledge?
 57. dropped hints to somebody you lusted after in the hopes he/she
    would pick up on it?
  58. send anonymous love letters to someone?
  59. been in or started a food fight?
  60. photocopied parts of your body, such as your face, hands or feet
  61. read the Song of Solomon?
  62. read The National Geographic?
  63. kissed and told?
  64. been unable to cuss someone out in language acceptable in polite
    society (e.g. is your cursing run of the mill, or do you have
    some class)?
  65. used 'fuck' or 'shit' as a noun, adverb, adjective, pronoun,
    infix, suffix, prefix or prepositional article in a sentence?
  66. done something that you don't want someone to know about
    (parents, employer, boy/girlfriend, spouse, roommate)?
  67. never been amused about something you thought too embarrassing to
    explain to another?
  68. cussed in your sleep?
  69. worn a strapless gown?
  70. skipped class?
  71. skipped class with teacher?
 72. had someone refuse to be with your because you whistled dirty
    songs?
  73. been a bore (not a pig-like thing in a previous life)?
  74. been bar hopping?
  75. been overcome by celibacy and didn't like it?
  76. been afraid you were slipping into monogamy
  77. been to a cocktail party?
  78. drank beer because you liked to piss?
  79. tried to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center
    of a Tootsie Roll Pop (it's NOT three)?
  80. dyed a pet strange colours (green, pink or purple)?
  81. dyed your hair an outrageous colour (deliberately)?
  82. owned a Slinky?
  83. hung a Slinky out a window?
  84. owned a Bill The Cat doll?
  85. hung Bill from the ceiling?
  86. thrown Bill down the stairs?
  87. thrown Bill out a window?
  88. videotaped a throwing of Bill for later playback?
  89. hung a stuffed animal in effigy?
 90. owned or driven a VW Microbus (with the shovels and rakes and
    implements of destruction)?
 
 
 
 II. Who Says You Need a Partner? OR I'm The Best I've Ever Had
    (Autoerotica and Mono-Sexualism - 91 Questions)
 
 (while the actions described here are usually done in private, it
 counts if others were present)
 
    Have you:
 
  91. scratched and sniffed any catalog?
  92. been sexually aroused?
  93. had an arousing or sexually explicit dream (Wet Dreams and the
    like)?
  94. skinny-dipped alone?
  95. read or bought erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit
    periodicals?
  96. read or bought pornographic material that might be described as
    really gross?
  97. subscribed to any erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit
    periodicals? (include alt.sex, alt.sex.whatever)
  98. read erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit books?
  99. read classic pornographic books (Candy, Fanny Hill, Naked Came
    the Stranger)?
 100. been bored while reading erotic, pornographic or sexually
    explicit literature?
 101. written erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit literature
    (lust letters count)?
 102. misspelled 'dirty' words, or misspelled other words as
    'dirty' words?
 103. read any sex manuals (e.g. Joy of Sex, Everything you always
    wanted to Know about Sex)?
 104. read Krafft-Ebing's Psychopathia Sexualis?
 105. read the Kama Sutra?
 106. read any Presidential report on obscenity?
 107. underlined, or marked 'good' parts?
 108. made an obscene phone call anonymously?
 109. received an anonymous obscene phone call?
 110. received an obscene phone call and had it turned you on?
 111. called any phone sex numbers (recorded or live)?
 112. recorded an obscene call for later playback?
 113. worked at a live phone sex number?
 114. had phone sex with a friend?
 115. masturbated (if you either blush at this question or answer 'no'
    to it, give up now and go listen to some Lawrence Welk)?
 116. masturbated more than four times in 24 hours?
 117. masturbated on a regular basis (more than once a week)?
 118. masturbated on a set schedule (Oops, gotta go, Mom. It's time
    for my 3:00 jerk-off)?
 119. masturbated to orgasm (isn't that the point?)?
 120. masturbated to multiple orgasm?
 121. fainted while masturbating as a result of orgasm?
 122. target-practice masturbated (females, too; it IS possible)?
 123. masturbated with a pillow or mattress?
 124. masturbated on a houseplant?
 125. used an aid while masturbating (dildo, pocket pussy, etc.)?
 126. used an inflatable doll for masturbating?
 127. masturbated against a house-hold appliance (ie, washing machine
    on spin cycle)?
 128. masturbated with food?
 129. eaten the food afterwards?
 130. fantasized about someone while masturbating?
 131. fantasized about someone masturbating while masturbating?
 132. fantasized while masturbating that you were of the opposite sex?
 133. masturbated while reading erotic, pornographic or sexually
    explicit literature?
 134. masturbated while reading textbooks (biology or human sexuality
    don't count)?
 135. masturbated while watching an R or X rated movie in private
    (cable, videotape, or film)?
 136. masturbated while watching an R or X rated movie in public
    (a theatre)?
 137. masturbated while on the phone (no kinky interpretations of "on
    the phone". This means you were talking to somebody through the
   phone lines while you were masturbating. The other party need
    not know what you were doing, you little pervert)?
 138. masturbated while driving?
 139. masturbated in a public bathroom?
 140. masturbated in a public bathroom of the opposite sex?
 141. masturbated in any public place?
 142. masturbated in the wild?
 143. masturbated where there was the possibility of being caught?
 144. been "caught" masturbating?
 145. adjusted your genitals in public (you'd think they'd be set at
    the factory)?
 146. performed oral sex on yourself (yes, it IS possible)?
 147. "basted" yourself (inserting a turkey baster into a major orifice
    and doing the suction thing)?
 148. inserted anything into your rectum and then walked around all
    day?
 149. affected an accent (SCA or Theatre doesn't count)?
 150. asked a female friend, of her new male friend, '.. is he hung'?
 151. sent a strip o gram?
 152. done a strip tease for someone?
 153. been to a burlesque show (Rocky Horror counts)?
 154. been to a peep show?
 155. been to a live sex show?
 156. been to a erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit movie?
 157. been to a private showing of a erotic, pornographic or sexually
    explicit movie (The classic 'stag' party, even if you're female)?
 158. held a private showing of an erotic, pornographic or sexually
    explicit movie?
 159. practiced autoerotic asphyxia (trying to heighten your sexual
    pleasure through semi-suffocation)?
 160. bought or made a codpiece or padded bra?
 161. worn a codpiece or padded bra?
 162. wished you were of the opposite sex?
 163. decided that if you were to be of the opposite sex you'd want to
    be homosexual?
 164. had a friend of the opposite sex that you traded clothes with?
 165. had a sex change operation (they do amazing things with velcro)?
 166. worn clothing that was "revealing" (either of your figure, or
    that emphasized 'strategic' locations)?
 167. worn clothing that you didn't know was THAT revealing (like the
    seat has ripped out or such)?
 168. gone for more than one day in the same set of underwear?
 169. been in public without wearing underwear?
 170. photocopied personal portions of your anatomy (tits, ass, or
    genitals)?
 171. programed a computer to orgasm (yours or the computers, doesn't
    matter)?
 172. cruised (in an automobile)?
 173. cruised the bars?
 174. cruised the gay bars?
 175. cruised the leather bars?
 176. used toys to act out fantasies (Barbie dolls, My Little Pony,
    etc)?
 177. owned an erotic art piece (like the cat woman's phallic symbol in
    A Clockwork Orange)?
 178. sculpted an erotic art piece out of a sculptable material (clay,
    wood, soap, etc)?
 179. sculpted anything erotic out of food (mashed potatoes, etc)?
 180. eaten the erotic food?
 181. made an X or R rated snowman (or woman)?
 
 
 
 III. How Low Will You Go?
    (Ethical Considerations - 146 Questions)
 
    Have you:
 
 182. told bad jokes?
 183. made puns?
 184. made puns on obscenities (e.g. "knock knock." 'who's there?'
    "fornication", 'fornication who' "fornication like this you
    should wear a black tie")?
 185. told shaggy dog stories?
 186. flubbed a punch line?
 187. worked at a fast-food place?
 188. worked at a fast-food place for over a year?
 189. held a grudge?
 190. recited limericks?
 191. served cheap booze?
 192. passed cheap booze as the expensive stuff?
 193. not paid your library fines?
 194. lied?
 195. lied to somebody at somebody else's request?
 196. lied about your sexual preference to avoid a date?
 197. been in adultery (technically it's only if you were married, but
    counts if you weren't)?
 198. started a fight?
 199. started a bar fight?
 200. started a brawl?
 201. instigated a raid (panty or otherwise)?
 202. instigated a border raid?
 203. instigated a border war?
 204. watched Benny Hill, Monty Python, Dr. Ruth, Donahue, Geraldo or
    Oprah?
 205. watched primetime soaps?
 206. considered romance to be whatever gets him/her out of his/her
    clothes?
 207. considered anything more than a towel "overdressed"?
 208. not considered living together without benefit of clergy or legal
    sanction a sin (can't live in sin if you don't believe in it)?
 209. not respected the sanctity of living in sin (e.g., hit up on
    someone regardless of whether they lived with another)?
 210. implied greater or lesser (non-sexual) experience than you
    actually possessed?
 211. implied greater or lesser sexual experience than you actually
    possessed?
 212. not thought it promiscuous having different partners annually?
 213. not thought it promiscuous having different partners monthly?
 214. not thought it promiscuous having different partners weekly?
 215. not thought it promiscuous having different partners daily?
 216. not thought it promiscuous having different partners at a time?
 217. had sex with someone whose name you didn't know at the time?
 218. had sex with someone whose name you still don't know?
 219. had sex with someone whose name you don't remember?
 220. had sex with someone whose name you don't want to know?
 221. had sex with someone whose language you don't (or didn't) know?
 222. had sex with someone whose face you never saw?
 223. had sexual activity (not necessarily intercourse) with someone
    ten or more years younger than you?
 224. had sexual activity with someone ten or more years older than
    you?
 225. had sex (penetration) with someone half your age?
 226. had sex with someone twice your age?
 227. had sex with someone for revenge (on them, on their current or
    ex-, on your current or ex-)?
 228. been thought to have installed a 'takaticket' machine (as in 'now
    serving number...')?
 229. gone to a motel for the sole purpose of sexual activity?
 230. lied about how old you were for purposes of sexual activity?
 231. lied about how old you were in order to obtain alcohol?
 232. broken your word, vow or promise?
 233. told someone you loved them when you did not?
 234. were nice to someone in hopes of having sex with them?
 235. told someone that you loved them strictly because you wanted
    sex with them?
 236. fantasized during sexual activity about somebody other than the
    one present during sexual activity?
 237. fantasized during sexual activity that you were somebody else?
 238. fantasized during sexual activity about Smurfs (or any cartoon
    character)?
 239. faked orgasm (guys too)?
 240. told them they were great when they weren't?
 241. intentionally 'eavesdroped' while others were engaged in sexual
    activity?
 242. plotted conspiracy?
 243. plotted murder (commission is covered later)?
 244. shown erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit movies or videos
    to get someone in the mood?
 245. used alcohol to lower someone's inhibitions about sexual activity
    (yours included)?
 246. used another drug to lower someone's inhibitions about sexual
    activity (yours included)?
 247. dipped into capital (been unable to live on one's investment
    income. An 'Old Money' no-no. If you have to ask the answer is
    'no.')?
 248. kited checks?
 249. used credit cards without the owner's consent or knowledge?
 250. traded on inside information?
 251. ignored someone because you didn't want to admit you had sex with
    them?
 252. wanted something or someone that someone else has, simply because
    they have it and you don't (coveted)?
 253. gone on a date in one night with two or more people with each
    person unaware of the other(s)?
 254. gone steady with two or more people with each person unaware of
    the other(s)?
 255. gone steady with two or more people with all aware of the
    other(s)?
 256. implied having had sex with someone when you hadn't?
 257. denied having sex with someone when you had (not telling your
    parents is merely survival)?
 258. gossiped?
 259. had a "sex contest" with friends (where the object is to see who
    can score with more people)?
 260. been in military service?
 261. put an ad in the persons to persons?
 262. put an ad for a sex partner?
 263. advertised for a sex partner including a photograph?
 264. answered an advert for a sex partner?
 265. exited through a window because someone came home unexpectedly?
 266. taken someone someplace to be seen in their company?
 267. taken someone someplace to be seen in their company by someone in
    particular?
 268. been in a wet t-shirt contest?
 269. won a wet t-shirt contest?
 270. judged a wet t-shirt contest?
 271. been in a whose-better-physically-equipped contest (guys or
    girls)?
 272. won a whose-better-physically-equipped contest (zzzip.. :thud:)?
 273. participated in a "sword-fight" with yours or somebody else's
    naughty bits (use your imagination)?
 274. given your kids unusual names based on puns (Shanda Lear, Laurel
    Ann Hardy)?
 275. given your kids unusual names in general (Dweezel)?
 276. named your child after a porn star (John Holmes Smith, Amber Lynn
    Cunningham, etc.)?
 277. named your child after a porn star without the other parent
    knowing the origin of the name?
 278. given your cat or dog a mohawk or a punk harido?
 279. gone to a scary movie as an excuse to get close to someone?
 280. fed someone 'treif' (eg non-kosher food, as in, a ham and cheese
    sandwich. Only counts if they were keeping kosher at the time)?
 281. mixed meat and dairy?
 282. eaten 'treif' (i.e. non-kosher food. Only counts if you were
    keeping kosher at the time)?
 283. eaten during daylight during Ramadan?
 284. eaten read meat on Friday (an RC no-no)?
 285. fed someone dogfood?
 286. been in a gross out contest?
 287. been in a gross out contest, and won?
 288. hired someone more for their looks?
 289. wife-(or husband) swapped?
 290. wanted to trade them in for a working model?
 291. been willing to trade 'em off cheap?
 292. flirted with in-laws?
 293. told somebody something "for their own good"?
 294. had sex without the use of a birth control method more effective
    than prayer (Oh God don't let me/her get pregnant)?
 295. had sex without the use of even prayer (they call people who do
    this frequently "parents")?
 296. had sex with the "pull-out" method of birth control?
 297. pulled out and come in his/her mouth (or had someone pull out an
    come in your mouth) so as to not have to clean up afterwards?
 298. welshed on a bet or wager?
 299. offered sexual favors as payoff for a wager?
 300. offered another's sexual favors as payoff for your wager?
 301. feared that you might be (or caused someone to be)
    unintentionally pregnant?
 302. found out that you were (or caused someone to be) unintentionally
    pregnant?
 303. drooled on someone?
 304. had someone drool on you?
 305. always accepted sex (never refused it regardless of race,
    creed, colour, religion, age, gender, condition, or politics)?
 306. accepted sloppy seconds (it's better than nothing)?
 307. offered sex for money or other consideration (a better grade,
    raise, "services rendered")?
 308. had sex with someone who was merely doing you a favor?
 309. demanded sex for money or other consideration ("Put out or walk"/
    "I'll scream if you don't" are but the more blatant forms)?
 310. coerced someone into having sex with you (you were going to be
    impossible to be with unless your hormone level was lowered)?
 311. accepted sex for money or other consideration (a better grade,
    raise, "services rendered")?
 312. cashed in your soda-pop can lids (the ones that if you get it off
    of the can in once piece you get a free fuck)?
 313. offered a sympathy fuck?
 314. offered a sympathy fuck, and been rejected (time to go back to
    the masturbation section)?
 315. drank all but the last quarter inch from the milk carton or
    water bottle and put it back in the cooler (so you wouldn't have
    to refill it)?
 316. woke up the next morning with the computer keyboard on your
    pillow (you might be programming too much)?
 317. tried to convince your partner that intercourse would help
    prevent/relieve cramps?
 318. tried to convince your partner that oral sex was good for the
    complexion?
 319. considered sperm a protein supplement (works better than peanuts
    on those long summer nights)?
 320. questioned someone about their sex life when they were incapable
   of not answering (e.g. they were truly wasted, or talking in
    their sleep)?
 321. questioned a significant other about their sex life when they
    were incapable of not answering?
 322. used whatever they said against them?
 323. read somebody's diary without his/her consent or knowledge?
 324. searched somebody's room/house without his/her consent or
    knowledge?
 325. attempted to corrupt someone's morals?
 326. attempted to corrupt someone's morals and discover it is too
    late?
 327. attempted to corrupt someone's morals only to discover they know
    things you don't?
 
 
 
 IV. I Fought the Law and *I* Won
    (Legal technicalities - 70 Questions)
 
    Have you:
 
 328. deliberately bounced a check?
 329. shoplifted?
 330. 'borrowed' something of value with no intention of returning
    it ('borrowing' kleenex, condoms or tampons, doesn't count)?
 331. written graffiti?
 332. committed murder?
 333. attempted to commit suicide?
 334. succeeded?
 335. had a fake id?
 336. manufactured a fake id?
 337. speeded (automotive, not pharmaceutical)?
 338. drag raced (on the street)?
 339. driven without a license?
 340. driven while suspended?
 341. bought or sold anything on a black market?
 342. stolen any item or cash?
 343. stolen a kiss?
 344. used bootleg software?
 345. plotted felony (that's conspiracy and may count)?
 346. operated a vehicle or piece of heavy machinery while intoxicated?
 347. plotted treason (betrayal of state secrets)?
 348. lead someone to believe they were the father when they weren't?
 349. lead someone to believe they weren't the father when they were?
 350. been liable for arrest on a morals charge (pandering, pimping,
    prostitution, impersonating a human being)?
 351. been a pool, card or chess shark?
 352. incited to riot?
 353. plotted a coup (civic class doesn't count)?
 354. committed sedition (plotting to overthrow the government)?
 355. committed sedation (bored an audience to sleep)?
 356. committed treason?
 357. been thought politically unreliable?
 358. been thought politically reliable?
 359. looted, raped, pillaged or burned (The Barbarian Pentathlon)?
 360. sent a chain letter?
 361. started a chain letter?
 362. made unregistered explosive devices (bombs)?
 363. made or acquired 'elint' (electronic intelligence) equipment
    (bugs)?
 364. installed or used 'elint' equipment (wiretaps, tape recorders,
    etc)?
 365. stayed for a second feature having paid only for the first?
 366. removed the tag that says "do not remove under penalty of law"?
 367. rode public transportation w/o paying?
 368. raised tuition/rent by streetwalking?
 369. pistol whipped someone?
 370. been a bigamist (that's very bigamy to admit it)?
 371. carried concealed weapons?
 372. evaded taxes?
 373. evaded custom duties by not declaring something subject to a
    duty or tax?
 374. been cited in divorce proceedings as the other woman/man?
 375. been cited in divorce proceedings as the other woman/man and
    wish you actually were?
 376. deliberately failed to pay child support?
 377. had someone buy alcohol for you while you were still a minor?
 378. bought your own alcohol while still a minor?
 379. been drunk while still a minor?
 380. bought alcohol for minors?
 381. had sexual activity while under the age of consent (masturbation
    doesn't count)?
 382. had sexual activity while under the age of consent with
    someone over the age of consent?
 383. had sexual activity since reaching the age of consent with
    someone under the age of consent?
 384. plagiarized?
 385. been to a "public bath"?
 386. patronized a prostitute?
 387. been to a "massage parlor"?
 388. been to a brothel as a customer?
 389. been to a brothel as an employee?
 390. contracted a 'social' disease (not just the common cold)?
 391. contracted mono?
 392. been treated for exposure to a STD (sexually transmitted
    disease) because someone you'd been with had been?
 393. had a curable STD?
 394. had an incurable STD
 395. had sex with someone knowing you had been exposed to a STD?
 396. had sex with someone knowing they had been exposed to a STD?
 397. gotten a 'frequent flier' bonus at the free clinic?
 
 
 
 V. Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Hiney Ho
    (Cults, Occults, Ghosts, Aliens, and Weirdness - 30 Questions)
 
    Have you:
 
 398. spotted Elvis at a 7-11 (or wherever)?
 399. been a member of the Order, Aryan Nation, or the like?
 400. joined a nunnery or a monastery because you were sick of sex?
 401. been a member of a religious group outside of a world-accepted
    religion (Satan worship, Vegisexual, etc)?
 402. been a member of a cult?
 403. been a high-ranking member in any non-accepted group (and, even
    though Wicca is an accepted religion, we'll take that, too)?
 404. played a record backwards to hear the message?
 405. actually heard the message?
 406. participated in a satanic ritual?
 407. sold your soul to the devil?
 408. drunk blood?
 409. sacrificed an animal in a religious ritual?
 410. sacrificed a human in a religious ritual?
 411. used a Ouija board?
 412. followed your horoscope?
 413. had your Tarot cards read or read someone else's?
 414. participated in a seance?
 415. communicated with another plane?
 416. had visual contact with someone/thing from another plane?
 417. been to another plane?
 418. had an out of body experience?
 419. practiced witchcraft?
 420. cast a spell for amusement?
 421. cast a spell for revenge?
 422. cast a spell for somebody else?
 423. had a spell backfire with disasterous effects?
 424. seen a UFO
 425. communicated with beings from another world (aliens)?
 426. been on a UFO?
 427. are you an alien?
 
 
 
 VI. This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stick-Up (Non-Platonic
     Activities (the steamy part) Part 1 - Men)
     (86 Questions)
 
    With or by a person of the male gender, have you:
 
 428. been propositioned for necking or petting by a man?
 429. been propositioned for any sexual practice by a man?
 430. been pinched or patted on the buttocks by a man?
 431. been kissed below the neck, but not on the hands and arms?
 432. received a hickey (or had the attempt if you are hard to get)?
 433. received a hickey in an intimate location?
 434. received scratch marks or nail marks?
 435. been bit or nibbled upon?
 436. been bit in an intimate location?
 437. had your clothed leg fondled or stroked by a man?
 438. had your clothed body fondled or stroked?
 439. had your clothed breast or nipples fondled or stroked?
 440. had your covered genitals fondled, pet, stroked, or otherwise
    handled?
 441. had your bare legs fondled or stroked by a man?
 442. had your bare body fondled or stroked?
 443. had your bare breast or nipples fondled or stroked?
 444. had your bare genitals fondled, pet, stroked, or otherwise
    handled?
 445. propositioned a man for necking or petting?
 446. propositioned a man for any sexual practice?
 447. pinched or patted a man's buttocks?
 448. kissed below the neck, but not on the hands and arms?
 449. petted above or below the waist?
 450. given a hickey?
 451. given a hickey in an intimate location?
 452. left scratches or nail marks?
 453. left teeth marks?
 454. left teeth marks in an intimate location?
 455. fondled or stroked a man's clothed legs?
 456. fondled or stroked a man's clothed body?
 457. stroked or fondled a man's clothed breast or nipple?
 458. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled a man's covered
    genitals?
 459. fondled or stroked a man's bare legs?
 460. fondled or stroked a man's bare body?
 461. stroked or fondled a man's bare breast or nipple?
 462. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled a man's bare
    genitals?
 463. been involved with pelvic thrusting while clothed (it really
    drives you insa-a-ane)?
 464. had sex with a man?
 465. had you fingers licked or sucked?
 466. licked or sucked a man's fingers?
 467. had your ear, or ear region licked, breathed upon, sucked or
    nibbled?
 468. licked, breathed onto, sucked or nibbled a man's ear or ear
    region?
 469. fondled a man who was asleep?
 470. woken up being fondled?
 471. had sex with a man who was asleep and he didn't wake up?
 472. had sex with a man who was asleep and he did wake up?
 473. slept through sexual activity (him doing it to you)?
 474. woken up in the midst of a man having sexual activity with you?
 475. given a man a backrub or massage with ulterior motives?
 476. did it work?
 477. been petted to orgasm?
 478. petted to orgasm?
 479. performed fellatio ("oral stimulation of the penis" Webster)?
 480. tasted a man's orgasmic fluids?
 481. gagged when they came in your mouth?
 482. received oral sex?
 483. performed mutual oral sex ('69')?
 484. performed mutual masturbation?
 485. watched while a man masturbated?
 486. had a man watch while you masturbated?
 487. orgasmed in him (if possible)?
 488. had him orgasm in you?
 489. orgasmed on him?
 490. had him orgasm on you?
 491. kissed a man (or boy) on a first date?
 492. necked with a man (or boy) on a first date?
 493. petted with a man (or boy) on a first date?
 494. had oral sex on a first date?
 495. given oral sex on a first date?
 496. fucked on a first date?
 497. had oral sex instead of intercourse?
 498. performed anal sex on a man (dildo or whatever)?
 499. received anal sex from a man (dildo or whatever)?
 500. performed oral stimulation of the anus on a man?
 501. received oral stimulation of the anus from a man?
 502. been seen naked under good lighting by a man (note: nude is
    expected (e.g. in a shower room or at a nude beach), naked
    is when you didn't expect to be seen (e.g. in the
    bathroom).)?
 503. seen a man naked under good lighting?
 504. undressed under good lighting, knowing a man was watching you?
 505. been in a man's company while both of you were nude without
    anything steamy happening?
 506. bathed or showered with a man?
 507. let a man wash you when you were perfectly capable of doing it
    yourself?
 508. washed a man who was perfectly capable of washing himself?
 509. had sex while in the shower?
 510. had sex while taking a bath?
 511. seduced a man?
 512. allowed yourself to be seduced?
 513. had sex with a virgin (not yourself)?
 
 
 
 VII. Julia Child, Eat Yourself Out
    (Kitchen Utensils and Power Tools - 42 Questions)
 
    Do you own, or have you ever owned, the following:
 
 514. a manual can opener?
 515. an electric can opener?
 516. a spaghetti strainer?
 517. a variable-speed blender?
 518. an electric mixer?
 519. a really, really big spoon?
 520. a fondue fork?
 521. corn on the cob holders?
 522. a turnip twaddler?
 523. an ice-cream scooper?
 524. chopsticks?
 525. salad tongs?
 526. a salad shooter?
 527. a salad scooper?
 528. a veg-o-matic?
 529. an electric juicer?
 530. a tea-leaf strainer?
 531. a socket wrench (English)?
 532. a socket wrench (metric)?
 533. a screwdriver (Flathead)?
 534. a screwdriver (phillips)?
 535. an electric screwdriver?
 536. an electric hammer?
 537. an electric dog-polisher?
 538. a gasoline-powered turtle-neck sweater?
 539. a tackle box?
 540. a metal spatula (NOT a flipper. There's a difference. A spatula
    is long, skinny, and NOT bent)?
 541. a rubber spatula?
 542. a pocket fisherman?
 543. a power drill?
 544. a chain saw?
 545. a flame thrower?
 546. a mig welder?
 547. a jack-hammer?
 548. a bulldozer?
 549. a wreaking-ball?
 
 550. have you used a spatula for flogging purposes?
 551. do you fanatise about new and unusual utensils or tools?
 552. do you get excited when you enter a kitchen or work-room?
 553. have you used any of the above for masturbation?
 554. have you used any of the above for any sexual practice?
 
 42. have you ever owned The Spatula (if you have to ask, the answer
    is 'no')?
 
 
 
 VIII. Something Smells Fishy Down Here
    (Non-Platonic Activities (the steamy part) Part 2 - Women)
    (84 Questions)
 
    With or by a person of the female gender, have you:
 
 556. been propositioned by a woman for necking or petting?
 557. been propositioned by a woman for any sexual practice?
 558. been pinched or patted on the buttocks by a woman?
 559. been kissed below the neck, but not on the hands and arms?
 560. received a hickey (or had the attempt if you are hard to get)?
 561. received a hickey in an intimate location?
 562. been scratched or marked by her?
 563. been nibbled or bit?
 564. been nibbled or bit in an intimate location?
 565. had your clothed legs fondled or stroked by a woman?
 566. had your clothed body fondled or stroked?
 567. had your clothed breast or nipples fondled or stroked?
 568. had your covered genitals fondled, stroked, pet, or otherwise
    handled?
 569. had your bare legs your bare legs fondled or stroked by a woman?
 570. had your bare body fondled or stroked?
 571. had your bare breast or nipples fondled or stroked?
 572. have your bare genitals fondled, stroked, pet, or otherwise
    handled?
 573. propositioned a woman for necking or petting?
 574. propositioned a woman for any sexual practice?
 575. pinched or patted a woman's buttocks?
 576. kissed a woman below the neck, but not on the hands and arms?
 577. petted above or below the waist?
 578. given a hickey to a woman?
 579. given a hickey in an intimate location?
 580. left scratches or nail marks on her?
 581. left teeth marks?
 582. left teeth marks in an intimate location?
 583. fondled or stroked a woman's clothed legs?
 584. fondled or stroked a woman's clothed body?
 585. stroked or fondled a woman's clothed breast or nipple?
 586. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled a woman's
    covered genitals?
 587. fondled or stroked a woman's bare legs?
 588. fondled or stroked a woman's bare body?
 589. stroked or fondled a woman's bare breast or nipple?
 590. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled a woman's bare
    genitals?
 591. been involved with pelvic thrusting while clothed?
 592. had sex with a woman?
 593. had you fingers licked or sucked?
 594. licked or sucked a woman's fingers?
 595. had your ear, or ear region licked, breathed upon, sucked or
    nibbled?
 596. licked, breathed onto, sucked or nibbled a woman's ear?
 597. fondled a woman who was asleep?
 598. woken up being fondled?
 599. had sex with a woman who was asleep and she didn't wake up?
 600. had sex with a woman who was asleep and she did wake up?
 601. slept through sexual activity (she doing it to you)?
 602. woken up in the midst of a woman having sexual activity with
    you?
 603. given a woman a backrub or massage with ulterior motives?
 604. did it work?
 605. been petted to orgasm?
 606. petted to orgasm?
 607. performed cunnilingus ("oral stimulation of the vulva or
    clitoris")?
 608. tasted a woman's orgasmic fluids?
 609. received oral sex?
 610. performed mutual oral sex ('69')?
 611. performed mutual masturbation?
 612. watched while a woman masturbated?
 613. had a woman watch while you masturbated?
 614. orgasmed in her (if possible)?
 615. orgasmed on her?
 616. had her orgasm on you?
 617. kissed a woman (or girl) on a first date?
 618. necked with a woman (or girl) on a first date?
 619. petted with a woman (or girl) on a first date?
 620. had oral sex on a first date?
 621. given oral sex on a first date?
 622. fucked on a first date?
 623. had oral sex instead of intercourse?
 624. performed anal sex on a woman (dildo or whatever)?
 625. received anal sex from a woman (dildo or whatever)?
 626. performed oral stimulation of the anus on a woman?
 627. received oral stimulation of the anus from a woman?
 628. been seen naked under good lighting by a woman (note: nude
    is expected (e.g. in a shower room or at a nude beach),
    naked is when you didn't expect to be seen (e.g. in the
    bathroom).)?
 629. seen a woman naked under good lighting?
 630. undressed under good lighting, knowing a woman was watching you?
 631. been in a woman's company while both of you were nude without
    anything steamy happening?
 632. bathed or showered with a woman (non-coed facilities don't
    count)?
 633. let a woman wash you when you were perfectly capable of doing
    it yourself?
 634. washed a woman who was perfectly capable of washing herself?
 635. had sex while in the shower?
 636. had sex while taking a bath?
 637. seduced a woman?
 638. allowed yourself to be seduced?
 639. had sex with a virgin (We're Virgin Destroyers - We won't go down
    in history, but we will go down on your little sister)?
 
 
 
 IX. The Nitty and the Gritty
    (Things To Do and People To Do Them With - 65 Questions)
 
    Are you now, or have you ever been:
 
 640. engaged in heterosexual activity (with a member of the opposite
    sex) ?
 641. If you answered 'yes', would you do it again? If you answered
    'no', have you thought about it?
 642. engaged in homosexual activity [with a member of your sex (who
    better to know what feels good?)]?
 643. If you answered 'yes', would you do it again? If you answered
    'no', have you thought about it?
 644. engaged in bisexual activity (defined here as sexual activity
    with both genders on a relatively even ratio for the period of
    time in question)?
 645. If you answered 'yes', would you do it again? If you answered
    'no', have you thought about it?
 646. engaged in incestual activity [with a member of your family
    (incest is best - put your sister to the test)]?
 647. yes, again; no, thought?
 648. engaged in homosexual incest (with a member of your family and
    gender)?
 649. yes, again; no, thought?
 650. engaged in bestiality (sex with non-humans, not the merely
    sub human, so that jerk at the party doesn't count)?
 651. yes, again; no, thought?
 652. engaged in xeno eroticism [sexual activity with alien life
    forms (NOT the kind without green cards)]?
 653. yes, again; no, thought?
 654. engaged in pedophilia (sexual activity with pre-teenage
    children)?
 655. yes, again; no, thought?
 656. engaged in bondage ('voluntarily', you had some control on
    initiation.)?
 657. yes, again; no, thought?
 658. engaged in sodomy (defined as either: 1) copulation with a member
   of the same sex or with animals or 2) non-coital intercourse, esp
    anal or oral copulation with the opposite sex)?
 659. yes, again; no, thought?
 660. practiced cocrophilia (using feces or filth for sexual
    excitement)?
 661. yes, again; no, thought?
 662. practiced frotteurism (masturbation by rubbing against another
    person)?
 663. yes, again; no, thought?
 664. practiced mysophilia (a dependency on something soiled or filthy,
   such as dirty underwear or used menstrual pads (like the female
    gym teacher in Porky's))?
 665. practiced klismaphilia (a dependency on being given an enema)?
 666. practiced zipitage (the picking of other people's zits)?
 667. performed analingus ("oral stimulation of the anus")?
 668. If you answered 'yes', would you do it again? If you answered
    'no', have you thought about it?
 669. practiced "role-playing" for sexual purposes (nurse/patient,
    teacher/student, border guard/well-endowed co-ed)?
 670. yes, again; no, thought?
 671. crossed dressed (dressing in clothing of the opposite sex),
    other than for a costume party?
 672. yes, again; no, thought?
 673. crossed dressed for a party or as a joke and discovered you
    liked it (shouldn't watch Rocky Horror so much)?
 674. yes, again; no, thought?
 675. practiced necrophilia [sex with the dead (truly deceased. That
    innocent young virgin you molested doesn't count, no matter how
    frigid she was)]?
 676. yes, again; no, thought?
 677. practiced zombiphilia (sex with the undead)?
 678. had a leather fetish?
 679. had a rubber fetish (insisting on the use of rubbers doesn't
    qualify)?
 680. performed anal intercourse ("That'd have to be in the butt,
    Bob")?
 681. If you answered 'yes', would you do it again? If you answered
    'no', have you thought about it?
 682. caused another person pain for your pleasure (its called sadism)?
 683. yes, again; no, thought?
 684. had another inflict pain for your own pleasure (its called
    masochism)?
 685. yes, again; no, thought?
 686. tied up a masochist and refused to cause them pain (its called
    cruel)?
 687. used Schedule I (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (synthetic
    opiates, meth-amphetamines, marijuana, hallucinogens, LSD)?
    (with over 145 drugs scheduled, we're not listing them all)
 688. yes, again; no, thought?
 689. used Schedule II (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (opium, coca
    leave products (Coca Cola is doesn't count))?
 690. yes, again; no, thought?
 691. used Schedule III (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs ( barbiturates,
    lysergic acid, amphetamine)?
 692. yes, again; no, thought?
 693. used Schedule IV (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (Barbital, chloral
    Hydrate, Phenobarbital)?
 . been seen M Z[~ 
GERBILDOC3    B                                                                                   1500 Point Purity Test                              Page *21* of 42                                 CR N  N @  @                   D N N N  PRINTER          
                                 694. yes, again; no, thought?
 695. abused Schedule V (USC 21, sec 812 (c)) drugs (codeine)?
 696. yes, again; no, thought?
 697. intentionally urinated on someone (its called 'golden
    showers', 'water sports', or piss fights)?
 698. yes, again; no, thought?
 699. intentionally defecated on someone (it's called sick)?
 700. yes, again; no, thought?
 701. intentionally urinated on yourself?
 702. yes, again; no, thought?
 703. intentionally defecated on yourself?
 704. yes, again; no, thought?
 
 
 
 X. The Meaning Of Life
   (Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll - 124 Questions)
 
    have you:
 
 705. considered the song "I want to hold you hand" suggestive?
 706. considered 'why don't we do it in the road' a reasonable
    question?
 707. do you know (no guessing) who followed Hendrix at Woodstock?
 708. been intoxicated from alcohol?
 709. been intoxicated from some other drug?
 710. been intoxicated from a controlled or illicit drug?
 711. introduced someone to 'drugs' in general?
 712. introduced someone to a new (to them) drug?
 713. used over the counter drugs for purposes of getting intoxicated?
 714. taken any drug that you weren't sure what it was, just to
    find out what it does (foolish you)?
 715. used prescription drugs that you didn't 'need' or have the
    prescription for ('abused' a controlled substance)?
 716. bought or sold a controlled or illicit drug?
 717. bought or sold a controlled or illicit drug, wholesale?
 718. sold as a controlled or illicit drug a non-drug item (burned
    somebody)?
 719. bought a controlled or illicit drug in bulk for personal use?
 720. frequently bought controlled or illicit drugs in bulk for
    personal use (like weekly or there about)?
 721. had a standing order with your supplier?
 722. taken a non-prescription opiate (heroin, morphine, or opium)
 723. more than 4 times?
 724. ingested cocaine (bolivian marching powder)?
 725. more than once?
 726. more than four times?
 727. smoked crack?
 728. more than once?
 729. more than four times?
 730. freebased?
 731. chugged?
 732. sniffed glue?
 733. smoked the killer weed (tobacco)?
 734. more than once?
 735. on a regular basis?
 736. chain smoked?
 737. smoked the killer weed (marijuana)?
 738. more than once?
 739. more than four times?
 740. smoked the killer weed (oregano)?
 741. smoked the killer weed (parsley)?
 742. smoked banana peels?
 743. smoked clove cigarettes?
 744. chewed tobacco, or snuff?
 745. gargled with hard liquor (No more mediciny breath!)?
 746. had alcohol for breakfast?
 747. drank Coke & nutmeg?
 748. drank Coke & aspirin?
 749. made Alice B. Toklas Cookies (marijuana or hash brownies)?
 750. eaten Alice B. Toklas Cookies?
 751. inhaled nitrous oxide (laughing gas) recreationally?
 752. injected any non-prescription drug into yourself?
 753. more than once?
 754. more than four times?
 755. injected more than one non-prescription drug simultaneously
    into yourself?
 756. more than once?
 757. more than four times?
 758. injected any non-prescription drug into someone else?
 759. more than once?
 760. injected more than one non-prescription drug simultaneously
    into someone else?
 761. more than once?
 762. played a drinking game?
 763. won a drinking game?
 764. played a game where it was unknown who would be getting drugs
    (who's got the pill, etc)?
 765. spiked a punch with alcohol?
 766. spiked a punch with other drugs?
 767. taken any synthetic hallucinogen (MDA, STP, Deep Purple, or
    Sandoz)?
 768. did you understand the examples in the last question?
 769. ingested any 'natural' hallucinogen (peyote, mescaline,
    'shrooms, ergot)?
 770. more than once?
 771. more than four times?
 772. had a bad trip?
 773. had a flashback?
 774. gotten a bad batch?
 775. taken hallucinogens for enlightenment, or other philosophical
    reason?
 776. taken PCP or other veterinary drug?
 777. more than once?
 778. more than four times?
 779. taken any 'designer' drugs?
 780. done speed or meth-amphetamine?
 781. more than once?
 782. more than four times?
 783. made or synthesized your own drugs?
 784. made or synthesized drugs, 'commercially' (been the lab)?
 785. grown your own?
 786. bred your own?
 787. bought 'moonshine' (any alcoholic beverage made outside the
    Federal limit of 200 gallons annually for personal consumption)?
 788. been to a rock concert?
 789. been to a heavy metal concert?
 790. been to a Frank Zappa rock concert?
 791. been to a Barry Manilow concert?
 792. listened to acid rock?
 793. were you at Woodstock?
 794. been a groupie?
 795. been a roadie?
 796. thought about starting a band to meet groupies?
 797. thought about starting a band to get good dope?
 798. actually started a band to get groupies or dope?
 799. told someone you were with the band?
 800. did it work?
 801. sung dirty songs, the kind with no subtlety in the lyrics
    (e.g. Let's get drunk and Screw)?
 802. sung bawdy songs (e.g. Polka Dot Undies, Do your ears hang
    low, the Bottle Song)?
 803. composed bawdy lyrics?
 804. brewed your own?
 805. had sex while drunk or stoned?
 806. had sex while on acid?
 807. bungee-jumped on acid?
 808. had sex while on any drug?
 809. used the USC Scheduled Drug List as a checklist of what to try?
 810. used the USC Scheduled Drug List as a checklist of what to try
    while having sex?
 811. used any drug when you were to wasted to know if it had any
    effect (e.g. smoked pot while blitzed)?
 812. used a second drug to cancel out the effects of a first (using
    downers after uppers, etc. [it doesn't work])?
 813. taken mood altering drugs without prescription (valium or
    quaalude)?
 814. been told you had sex the night before and you can't recall a
    thing?
 815. awaken the next morning wondering where you were?
 816. awaken the next morning wondering if you had a good time?
 817. awaken the next morning wondering where you were, and who's
    that next to you?
 818. awaken the next morning wondering who you were?
 819. felt like the Three Bears (who's been sleeping in my bed)?
 820. felt like Baby Bear (who's that sleeping in my bed)?
 821. ever thrown up from too much alcohol [aka driven the
    porcelain bus, blown chips, tossing your cookies, the
    technicolor yawn, praying to the porcelain god, called for
    the car (There's Ralph's Buick)]?
 822. ever had blackouts (periods where you don't remember what
    happened)?
 823. been hung over?
 824. had a hangover last more than one day?
 825. taken the hair of the dog that bit you (drinking to cure a
    hangover)?
 826. been to an AA meeting, or the like?
 827. been to a drug-rehab meeting?
 828. been to a LAGA (Lesbian and Gay Alliance) meeting or the like?
 
 
 
 XI. Green Eggs and Ham
    (Locality - 178 Questions))
 
   "have you done it on a plane,
   have you done it on a train;
   have you done it in your bed,
   have you done it on your head;
   Have you, have you,
   had green eggs and ham"
   (with apologies to Dr Seuss)
 
    Have you:
 
 829. with others in the same room, necked/petted?
 830. with others in the same room, had oral sex?
 831. with others in the same room fucked?
 832. with others in the same room, necked/petted without them knowing?
 833. with others in the same room, had oral sex without them knowing?
 834. with others in the same room, fucked without them knowing?
 835. while parents were sleeping, necked/petted?
 836. while parents were sleeping, had oral sex?
 837. while parents were sleeping, fucked?
 838. while parents were awake, necked/petted?
 839. while parents were awake, had oral sex?
 840. while parents were awake, fucked?
 841. while parents were awake in the same room, necked/petted?
 842. while parents were awake in the same room, had oral sex?
 843. while parents were awake in the same room, fucked?
 844. while hot tubbing, necked/petted?
 845. while hot tubbing, had oral sex?
 846. while hot tubbing, fucked?
 847. in a sauna or steam bath, necked/petted?
 848. in a sauna or steam bath, had oral sex?
 849. in a sauna or steam bath, fucked?
 850. in a chair, couch, recliner, etc, necked/petted?
 851. in a chair, couch, recliner, etc, had oral sex?
 852. in a chair, couch, recliner, etc, fucked?
 853. in a place of religion, necked/petted?
 854. in a place of religion, had oral sex?
 855. in a place of religion, fucked?
 856. in a place of the dead (morgue, cemetery, etc), necked/petted?
 857. in a place of the dead, had oral sex?
 858. in a place of the dead, fucked?
 859. in a contraption of the dead (coffin, urn, etc), necked/petted?
 860. in a contraption of the dead, had oral sex?
 861. in a contraption of the dead, fucked?
 862. during a movie (in a theatre), necked/petted?
 863. during a movie, had oral sex?
 864. during a movie, fucked?
 865. in a sports area (stadium, court, track, or ballfield),
    necked/petted?
 866. in a sports area, had oral sex?
 867. in a sports area, fucked?
 868. in a stationary vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT (a car,
    small pickup, minivan, etc), necked/petted?
 869. in a stationary vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT, had oral
    sex?
 870. in a stationary vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT, fucked?
 871. in a stationary vehicle of more than 3000 but less than 10,000
    pounds GWT (a van, pickup), necked/petted?
 872. in a stationary vehicle of more than 3000 but less than 10,000
    pounds GWT, had oral sex?
 873. in a stationary vehicle of more than 3000 but less than 10,000
    pounds GWT, fucked?
 874. in a stationary vehicle of more than 10,000 pounds GWT (a semi,
    RV, tank, etc), necked/petted?
 875. in a stationary vehicle of more than 10,000 pounds GWT, had oral
    sex?
 876. in a stationary vehicle of more than 10,000 pounds GWT, fucked?
 877. in a moving vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT (a car or small
    pickup), necked/petted?
 878. in a moving vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT, had oral sex?
 879. in a moving vehicle of less than 3000 pounds GWT, fucked?
 880. in a moving vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT (a van, pickup),
    necked/petted?
 881. in a moving vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT, had oral sex?
 882. in a moving vehicle of more than 3000 pounds GWT, fucked?
 883. in a moving vehicle of more than 10,000 pounds GWT,
    necked/petted?
 884. in a moving vehicle of more than 10,000 pounds GWT, had oral sex?
 885. in a moving vehicle of more than 10,000 pounds GWT, fucked?
 886. with the operator of a moving vehicle, necked/petted?
 887. with the operator of a moving vehicle, had oral sex?
 888. with the operator of a moving vehicle, fucked?
 889. as the operator of a moving vehicle, necked/petted?
 890. as the operator of a moving vehicle, received oral sex?
 891. as the operator of a moving vehicle, fucked?
 892. on a train, necked/petted?
 893. on a train, had oral sex?
 894. on a train, fucked?
 895. on a roller coaster, necked/petted?
 896. on a roller coaster, had oral sex?
 897. on a roller coaster, fucked?
 898. in a wheelbarrow, necked/petted?
 899. in a wheelbarrow, had oral sex?
 900. in a wheelbarrow, fucked?
 901. on a boat (rowboat, personal yacht, sailboat, etc),
    necked/petted?
 902. on a boat, had oral sex?
 903. on a boat, fucked?
 904. on a ship (battleship, aircraft carrier, etc), necked/petted?
 905. on a ship, had oral sex?
 906. on a ship, fucked?
 907. in an aircraft (airplane, blimp, zepplin, hovercraft, hot-air
    balloon, UFO, etc) in flight, necked/petted?
 908. in an aircraft in flight, had oral sex?
 909. in an aircraft in flight, fucked?
 910. on public transportation (bus, subway, tram or trolley),
    necked/petted?
 911. on public transportation, had oral sex?
 912. on public transportation, fucked?
 913. on a school bus, necked/petted?
 914. on a school bus, had oral sex?
 915. on a school bus, fucked?
 916. on horseback, necked/petted (just don't scare the horses)?
 917. on horseback, had oral sex?
 918. on horseback, fucked?
 919. on a bicycle in motion, necked/petted?
 920. on a bicycle in motion, had oral sex?
 921. on a bicycle in motion, fucked?
 922. in a telephone booth, voting booth, hall closet, or other small,
    non-moving enclosure, necked/petted?
 923. in a telephone booth, voting booth, hall closet, or other small,
    non-moving enclosure, had oral sex?
 924. in a telephone booth, voting booth, hall closet, or other small,
    non-moving enclosure, fucked?
 925. while in an elevator, or on an escalator or other people
    mover, necked/petted?
 926. in an elevator, on an escalator or other people mover, had oral
    sex?
 927. in an elevator, on an escalator or other people mover, fucked?
 928. on the roof of a building, necked/petted?
 929. on the roof of a building, had oral sex?
 930. on the roof of a building, fucked?
 931. on the roof of a building where others might see you,
    necked/petted?
 932. on the roof of a building where others might see you, had oral
    sex?
 933. on the roof of a building where others might see you, fucked?
 934. where the surrounding temperature was below freezing,
    necked/petted?
 935. where the surrounding temperature was below freezing, had oral
    sex?
 936. where the surrounding temperature was below freezing, fucked?
 937. in the snow, necked/petted?
 938. in the snow, had oral sex?
 939. in the snow, fucked (now that's fucking cold)?
 940. out of doors, had oral sex?
 941. out of doors, fucked?
 942. in a gazebo, necked/petted?
 943. in a gazebo, had oral sex?
 944. in a gazebo, fucked?
 945. in a tree, necked/petted?
 946. in a tree, had oral sex?
 947. in a tree, fucked?
 948. fucked a tree?
 949. in a semi public location where there was a possibility of
    discovery, had oral sex?
 950. in a semi public location where there was a possibility of
    discovery, fucked?
 951. because there was a possibility of discovery, had oral sex
    in a semi public locale?
 952. because there was a possibility of discovery, fucked in a
    semi public locale?
 953. at a public event (such as a rock concert, rally, or riot),
    necked/petted?
 954. at a public event, had oral sex?
 955. at a public event, fucked?
 956. in a library, necked/petted?
 957. in a library, had oral sex?
 958. in a library, fucked?
 959. in a free flowing body of water (river, lake, swimming pool,
    ocean), necked/petted?
 960. in a free flowing body of water, had oral sex?
 961. in a free flowing body of water, fucked?
 962. on a beach, necked/petted?
 963. on a beach, had oral sex?
 964. on a beach, fucked?
 965. in a classroom, necked/petted?
 966. in a classroom, had oral sex?
 967. in a classroom, fucked?
 968. in a hallway, necked/petted?
 969. in a hallway, had oral sex?
 970. in a hallway, fucked?
 971. in a living room, family room, or the like, necked/petted?
 972. in a living room, family room, or the like, had oral sex?
 973. in a living room, family room, or the like, fucked?
 974. in a kitchen, necked/petted?
 975. in a kitchen, had oral sex?
 976. in a kitchen, fucked?
 977. in any other household room other than those mentioned,
    necked/petted?
 978. in any other household room other than those mentioned, had oral
    sex?
 979. in any other household room other than those mentioned, fucked?
 980. on a household appliance, necked/petted?
 981. on a household appliance, had oral sex?
 982. on a household appliance, fucked?
 983. on a table or countertop, necked/petted?
 984. on a table or countertop, had oral sex?
 985. on a table or countertop, fucked?
 986. on a pinball machine, necked/petted?
 987. on a pinball machine, had oral sex?
 988. on a pinball machine, fucked?
 989. on a jukebox, necked/petted?
 990. on a jukebox, had oral sex?
 991. on a jukebox, fucked?
 992. on a pool table, necked/petted?
 993. on a pool table, had oral sex?
 994. on a pool table, fucked?
 995. on a piano, necked/petted?
 996. on a piano, had oral sex?
 997. on a piano, fucked?
 998. on any other rec-room-type object, necked/petted?
 999. on any other rec-room-type object, had oral sex?
 1000. on any other rec-room-type object, fucked?
 1001. on or in a national monument, necked/petted?
 1002. on or in a national monument, had oral sex?
 1003. on or in a national monument, fucked?
 1004. showered with a member of the opposite sex in a 'non-coed'
    facility (locker room, dorm shower, whatever)?
 1005. while showering with a member of the opposite sex in a 'non-
    coed' facility, had oral sex?
 1006. while showering with a member of the opposite sex in a 'non-
    coed' facility, fucked?
 
 
 
 XII. Look, Ma, No Hands!
     (Style - 130 Questions)
 
    Have you:
 
 1007. pointed and laughed?
 1008. eaten oysters?
 1009. eaten prairie oysters?
 1010. eaten a banana in a provocative manner?
 1011. eaten an ice cream cone in a provocative manner?
 1012. used an aphrodisiac?
 1013. used amyl nitrate?
 1014. taken something to "improve" your performance?
 1015. coined 'pet' names for your genitalia?
 1016. coined 'pet' names for your partner's genitalia?
 1017. taken notes during arguments, in order to remember the good
    lines?
 1018. had sex with the same person more than 10 times?
 1019. had sex with over 10 people (not necessarily at once)?
 1020. had sex with anybody/thing more than 100 times?
 1021. had sex with anybody/thing more than 500 times?
 1022. volunteered to sleep in the wet spot?
 1023. accepted sex and now wish you hadn't?
 1024. turned down sex and now wish you hadn't?
 1025. made or taken a phone call during sexual activity (again, sexual
    activity does not mean penetration; just foolin' around) with
    someone?
 1026. during sexual activity, had your partner make or take a phone
    call with their parent, spouse, or other important type person?
 1027. ever been preoccupied during sexual activity (television,
    homework, playing piano, dictating a letter)?
 1028. ever had your partner be preoccupied during sexual activity?
 1029. had a general emergency arise during sexual activity (e.g.
    flood, fire, hurricane or Norse Stickball)?
 1030. had a minor emergency during sexual activity (e.g. muscle cramp,
    asthmas attack, somebody at the door)?
 1031. during sexual activity had any crisis that now causes you great
    merriment (e.g. the bed broke, couldn't get the condom on)?
 1032. had nude snapshots taken of you?
 1033. taken nude snapshots of someone else?
 1034. given nude snapshots, drawings or other artwork, of yourself to
    someone?
 1035. engaged in sex for more than three hours in a single session
    with the same partner?
 1036. engaged in sex for more than three hours in a single session
    with multiple partners?
 1037. performed ritual sexual activity as part of a religious practice
    (Tantric Yoga or Fertility Rites)?
 1038. had or caused multiple orgasms?
 1039. had sex until one of you was sore?
 1040. had sex until one of you was dry?
 1041. smoked after sex?
 1042. intentionally been bruised or injured during any sexual
    activity?
 1043. intentionally bruised or injured someone during any sexual
    activity?
 1044. spanked anyone before or during sex?
 1045. been sore on the morning after?
 1046. had sex to Ravel's Bolero?
 1047. had sex to the Blue Danube?
 1048. had sex to any other classical selection?
 1049. had sex to Dr. Demento (the radio show; not the person)?
 1050. had sex to candlelight?
 1051. had sex to fireplace light?
 1052. had sex to campfire light?
 1053. had sex in full lighting?
 1054. had sex in absolute darkness?
 1055. disturbed others with the noise from your sexual activity?
 1056. been a screamer?
 1057. caused someone to be a screamer?
 1058. fucked missionary (old-fashioned way)?
 1059. fucked dorsally ('doggy' style)?
 1060. fucked amphibiously ('froggy' style)?
 1061. fucked in the female superior position?
 1062. fucked sitting up?
 1063. fucked standing up?
 1064. fucked in a chair?
 1065. fucked while leaning over a chair?
 1066. fucked while still clothed ('down with trousers, up with
    dresses!')?
 1067. fucked sideways?
 1068. fucked both facing the same direction (spooning)?
 1069. fucked in the wheelbarrow position (remember those "wheelbarrow
    races" when you were a kid)?
 1070. fucked while supporting your partner (physically, not
    financially)?
 1071. fucked upside-down (staircases, etc)?
 1072. fucked while hanging from the rafters?
 1073. fucked while hanging from the rafters upside-down?
 1074. fucked while bouncing on a trampoline?
 1075. fucked while hanging from a trapeze?
 1076. played "sit-n-spin" (use your imagination)?
 1077. gone through two or more sexual positions without the need for
    re-entry?
 1078. fucked in front of or under a mirror?
 1079. participated in fist-fucking (see Caligula)?
 1080. participated in breast fucking (Hawaiian muscle-fuck)?
 1081. fallen asleep during sex or oral sex?
 1082. had your partner fall asleep during sex or oral sex?
 1083. performed oral sex after intercourse without washing or
    douching?
 1084. kissed after oral sex without brushing or gargling?
 1085. talked dirty during sexual activity?
 1086. fainted as a result of orgasm (give them a stud point!)?
 1087. had your partner faint as a result of orgasm (take a stud
    point)?
 1088. caused multiple orgasms on someone?
 1089. caused multiple orgasms on someone who didn't think he/she was
    able?
 1090. been caused to have multiple orgasms?
 1091. had sex before breakfast?
 1092. had sex instead of lunch (good aerobics and low on calories)?
 1093. had a 'quickie'?
 1094. had sex more than five times in twenty four hours?
 1095. had sex with more than 1 person in a 24 hour time period?
 1096. gone in public after sex w/o bathing (and you're sure everyone
    can tell it too)?
 1097. had sex with both genders in a 24 hour period?
 1098. with a hermaphrodite, necked/petted?
 1099. with a hermaphrodite, had oral sex (two to choose from)?
 1100. with a hermaphrodite, fucked?
 1101. had sex with spectators?
 1102. been judged by the spectators?
 1103. had spectators take notes?
 1104. foot masturbated someone?
 1105. been foot masturbated?
 1106. tongue bathed someone?
 1107. been tongue bathed?
 1108. sucked the feet or toes of someone?
 1109. had someone suck your feet or toes?
 1110. been, or kept, a mistress?
 1111. been, or had, a 'kept man'?
 1112. been a pimp or madame?
 1113. been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or
    girl) friend of either of you returned unexpectedly?
 1114. been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or
    girl) friend of either of you returned unexpectedly, have them
    excuse themselves and tell you to continue?
 1115. been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or
    girl) friend of either of you returned unexpectedly, have them
    excuse themselves and tell you to continue, and you were able?
 1116. been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or
    girl) friend of either of you returned unexpectedly, talked with
    you for a while, and then left?
 1117. been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or
    girl) friend of either of you brought you food to keep your
    energy up?
 1118. walked in on your significant other while they were engaged in
    sexual activity with someone else?
 1119. walked in on your significant other while they were engaged
    in sexual activity with someone else, excused yourself and left
    them to continue?
 1120. walked in on your parents?
 1121. walked in on your grandparents?
 1122. walked in on others, unaware that they were engaged in sexual
    activity?
 1123. walked in on others, to discover them engaged in a sexual
    activity you thought was too weird?
 1124. walked in on others, to discover them engaged in a sexual
    activity you hadn't thought possible?
 1125. had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
    activity and declare 'I didn't think that was possible'?
 1126. had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
    activity and declare 'too weird'?
 1127. initiated sexual activity with a member of the medical
    profession (Your doctor, nurse or therapist)?
 1128. initiated sexual activity with someone in authority (your
    parole officer, psychiatrist, or babysitter)?
 1129. initiated sexual activity with a member of the legal profession
    (lawyer, judge, or paralegal)?
 1130. initiated sexual activity with a member of the academic
    community (Professor, instructor, TA)?
 1131. initiated sexual activity with an intellectual (librarian,
    author, essayist, or scribe)?
 1132. initiated sexual activity with someone in uniform (Army, Navy,
    Marines, Post Office, Cub Scout)?
 1133. initiated sexual activity with a member of an 'out' group
    (someone you wouldn't take home to meet the family, e.g. a
    biker, air head or securities broker)?
 1134. initiated sexual activity with a member of a sports team (or
    cheer leader)?
 1135. initiated sexual activity with an athlete (acrobatic-type)?
 1136. initiated sexual activity with religious officiary (priest, nun,
    cardinal, pope, etc.)?
 
 
 
 XIII. Kids, Don't Try This at Home
    (The Erotic, the Kinky, the Tacky, and the possibly Perverted)
    (192 Questions)
 
    Have you:
 
 1137. been a member of a fraternity or sorority?
 1138. said "I'm normal, its everyone else that's weird"?
 1139. told dirty jokes in mixed company?
 1140. discussed masturbation?
 1141. french kissed below the waist?
 1142. discussed oral sex techniques (In general, not as part of a
    lesson)?
 1143. asked for instructions in oral sex techniques (again, lecture
    not lab)?
 1144. given lessons in oral sex techniques ('I'm only going to do this
    once, so pay attention!')?
 1145. demonstrated oral sex techniques with a 'visual aid' (carrot,
    cucumber, taco, etc.)?
 1146. demonstrated oral sex techniques with an assistant?
 1147. been the assistant?
 1148. had someone practice oral sex on you so as to be better for
    someone else?
 1149. demonstrated oral sex techniques for more than one person at
    a time?
 1150. smelled the crotchpiece of underwear (how else can you know if
    it's clean or not?)?
 1151. smelled the crotchpiece of underwear that was worn by somebody
    else?
 1152. owned a collection of underwear not your own?
 1153. been attracted to someone more by an article of their clothing
    than by their body?
 1154. been a voyeur (without their knowledge)?
 1155. accepted an invitation to watch?
 1156. made an invitation to watch?
 1157. been in public while wearing just a shirt but no pants?
 1158. disrobed in public?
 1159. been to a nude beach?
 1160. sunned your buns or tanned your can?
 1161. paraded about in the nude (sprints don't count, nor does while
    searching for undies)?
 1162. been sad because someone you knew was getting married?
 1163. been sad because someone you knew was getting married and now
    you'd never get to sleep with them?
 1164. used your hair for the sexual arousal of others (beards count)?
 1165. searched for the G-spot?
 1166. searched for the G-spot and found it (you stud)?
 1167. told him he had when he hadn't but you just wanted him out?
 1168. rooted for the Klingons?
 1169. felt sad because Skywalker killed the Emperor?
 1170. rooted for the Wicked Witch?
 1171. contemplated the political, social and geometric possibilities
    of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?
 1172. wondered where Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty to wake
    her up?
 1173. wondered about the sex life of Smurfette (the only female on
    the whole damn show)?
 1174. accidentally entered a public restroom of the opposite gender?
 1175. accidentally entered a public restroom of the opposite gender,
    not realizing it till you were through?
 1176. intentionally entered a public restroom of the opposite gender
    (how else can you read the graffiti)?
 1177. won the pig pen award for your floor, dorm, fraternity/sorority,
    college or state?
 1178. pissed on an electric fence?
 1179. streaked, flashed or otherwise intentionally displayed your bod
    to the general public (without pay, topless dancing doesn't
    count)?
 1180. streaked, flashed or otherwise intentionally displayed your bod
    to the general public as part of the job (modeling doesn't
    count)?
 1181. posed nude or semi nude for private drawings, paintings or
    photographs as a 'favor'?
 1182. posed nude or semi nude in public (e.g. art classes) as a
    'favor'?
 1183. posed as a model for purposes of erotic, pornographic or
    sexually explicit art?
 1184. asked someone to pose nude or semi nude for private drawings,
    paintings or photographs as a 'favor'?
 1185. asked someone to pose nude or semi nude in public (e.g. art
    classes) as a 'favor'?
 1186. asked someone to pose for erotic, pornographic or sexually
    explicit art or photographs?
 1187. asked someone to pose for erotic, pornographic or sexually
    explicit photographs and there was no film in the camera?
 1188. made lewd, licentious or suggestive gestures while dancing in
    public?
 1189. helped to cover for someone's escapades (provide alibi,
    accommodations, opportunity)?
 1190. been besieged by someone who thought they could satisfy you and
    make an honest person of you?
 1191. been late to work, class or an appointment because you were
    involved in sexual activity?
 1192. read anything by the Marquis de Sade?
 1193. been nicknamed for a behavior pattern of yours ('Sleepy')?
 1194. been nicknamed for an aberrant behavior pattern of yours
    ('Sleazy')?
 1195. been interrupted by the police while necking, and they were more
    embarrassed than you?
 1196. been an exhibitionist?
 1197. had sexual activity with siblings (brother or sisters not your
    own)?
 1198. had sexual activity simultaneously with both (or however many)
    siblings?
 1199. had sexual activity with twins?
 1200. both simultaneously?
 1201. had sexual activity with triplets (or more)?
 1202. however many simultaneously?
 1203. had sexual activity with a parent and child, not your own
    (mother/daughter, father/son, mother/son, father/daughter)?
 1204. both simultaneously?
 1205. shaved your head?
 1206. shaved your pubic region (pits don't count)?
 1207. have someone else shave your pubic region?
 1208. shaved someone else's pubic region?
 1209. shaved your or somebody else's pubic region into a design or
    shape (star, moon, heart, bear-trap, etc)?
 1210. colored or bleached your pubic region?
 1211. had sex during menstruation?
 1212. performed oral sex on a menstruating woman (or been the woman)?
 1213. had sex while the woman had a yeast infection?
 1214. performed oral sex on a woman with a yeast infection (or been
    the woman)?
 1215. performed oral sex on someone who was urinating at the time?
 1216. mooned or goosed someone you knew?
 1217. mooned or goosed someone you didn't know?
 1218. mooned or goosed someone you thought you knew?
 1219. "pounced" somebody (You're gonna fuck me NOW!)?
 1220. belched (obnoxiously) in general public?
 1221. farted (audibly) in general public?
 1222. stimulated your partner anally (with your finger, vibrator or
    whatnot)?
 1223. been stimulated anally (with a finger, vibrator or whatnot)?
 1224. "basted" somebody (definition in Autoerotica section)?
 1225. had somebody "baste" you?
 1226. had a spouse, posslq, or date leave you for someone of their
    gender (e.g. your husband left you for another man)?
 1227. left a spouse, posslq, or date for someone of your gender?
 1228. picked your nose in public?
 1229. picked someone else's nose?
 1230. had someone else pick your nose?
 1231. sexually harassed someone (e.g. made unwanted sexual advances)?
 1232. graded someone's act of sexual harassment?
 1233. handed out condoms as party favors?
 1234. discussed favorite brand of condom?
 1235. comparison shopped for condoms (plain or ribbed)?
 1236. inflated a condom?
 1237. chosen a condom or spermicide for its taste (or lack thereof)?
 1238. bought condoms?
 1239. bought condoms by the case (wholesale, not just the 'family
    pack')?
 1240. saved used condoms (for the memories, resale value, whatever)?
 1241. bought any other birth control item (contraceptive jelly or
    foam, or the pill)?
 1242. bought any other birth control item in bulk (the Pill, unless
    you got it for more than one month at a time, doesn't count)?
 1243. borrowed/stolen/taken birth control from your or somebody else's
    parents?
 1244. used Coke as a contraceptive douche?
 1245. carried a condom 'just in case'?
 1246. bought a home pregnancy test?
 1247. tasted your own sexual fluids?
 1248. tasted another's sexual fluids?
 1249. complimented someone on their taste?
 1250. been complimented on your taste?
 1251. been in a situation where semen (yours or somebody else's) was
    shot over someone's head?
 1252. where it hit a wall?
 1253. where it hit the ceiling?
 1254. where it hit somebody's face?
 1255. where it went in somebody's eye?
 1256. where it went up somebody's nose?
 1257. where it went in somebody's food or drink?
 1258. had your ears pierced?
 1259. had your nose pierced?
 1260. pierced someone else's ears?
 1261. pierced someone else's nose?
 1262. worn body paint?
 1263. painted somebody?
 1264. lit your partner's crotch aflame?
 1265. worn obscene or suggestive t-shirts?
 1266. worn t-shirts with obscene or graphic messages in a language
    you didn't read?
 1267. written dirty fortune cookie fortunes?
 1268. have you a tattoo?
 1269. have you an 'obscene' tattoo (words or pictures)?
 1270. have you a tattoo normally concealed by your clothing (George
    Shultz has a tiger on his butt)?
 1271. have you a tattoo in an intimate location?
 1272. have you a tattoo normally concealed by your pubic hair?
 1273. used any object, longer than it is wide, for sexual purposes
    (Coke bottle, rolling pin or feather duster)?
 1274. used a feather or other tickling device for the sexual arousal
    of someone?
 1275. been to a funeral as a form of entertainment (aka Harold of
    "Harold & Maude")?
 1276. Do you consider sex the price a woman has to pay for being
    married ('just close your eyes and think of England')?
 1277. used ice for sexual purposes?
 1278. used a frozen object (not ice cubes) as a dildo (popcicle,
    icicle, etc)?
 1279. used whipped cream for sexual purposes?
 1280. put gravy, syrup, honey or other spreadable food on your
    partner and licked or eaten it (things go better with butter)?
 1281. had spreadable food put on you and eaten, or licked off?
 1282. used oils (baby, Wesson, etc) for a body rub?
 1283. used erotic lotions (motion lotion, etc) for a body rub?
 1284. used kiwis (the fruit, bird, or shoe polish - doesn't matter)
    for sexual purposes?
 1285. used any food for sexual purposes?
 1286. shoved food in a female's naughty bits?
 1287. shoved food up your or somebody else's rectum?
 1288. eaten the food after it was used in the above mentioned
    activities?
 1289. used a vibrator for sexual stimulation?
 1290. bought ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
 1291. given or received ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
 1292. used an artifical limb for sexual purposes?
 1293. asked someone to wear a particular article of clothing not
    because it was 'sexy' but because it turned you on?
 1294. worn colored underwear (other than white or pink)?
 1295. worn bikini briefs?
 1296. worn bikini briefs with patterns on them (tiger stripes, etc.)?
 1297. worn edible underwear?
 1298. eaten edible underwear off of somebody else?
 1399. worn lingerie?
 1300. worn leather lingerie?
 1301. worn rubber lingerie?
 1302. worn fishnets (complete with garter belt)?
 1303. worn somebody else's lingerie?
 1304. made garments out of shaved pubic hair (mittens, sweaters, etc)?
 1305. tried to figure out the words to "Louie Louie"?
 1306. Been to a John Water's film (Pink Flamingos, anything starring
    Divine)?
 1307. more than once?
 1308. seen Eraserhead?
 1309. more than once?
 1310. seen The Wall?
 1311. more than once?
 1312. seen A Clockwork Orange?
 1313. more than once?
 1314. thought of becoming a Veterinary because your first love died
    of hoof & mouth?
 1315. had sex in the presence of animals?
 1316. had animals walk on you while you were having sex?
 1317. thought of becoming a vegetarian because the saddest day in
    you life was when your first love was sent to market?
 1318. thought to make a contribution to science in similar fashion
    to Madame D'Stael?
 1319. urinated anywhere other than in an acceptable location or
    receptacle (i.e. in a sink, fireplace, wastepaper basket, the
    family glove compartment)?
 1320. urinated off of a bridge or tall building?
 1321. defecated anywhere other than in an acceptable location or
    receptacle (i.e. in a fireplace, car seat, wastepaper basket, or
    salad spinner)?
 1322. tasted or eaten shit?
 1323. more than once?
 1324. tasted or drunk urine?
 1325. more than once?
 1326. kept unmarked biology specimens in the refrigerator?
 1327. kept feces (crap) in the refrigerator (lab specimens do not
    count)?
 1328. kept feces anywhere in your dwelling (under your bed, in your
    dresser, etc)?
 
 
 
 XIII. Don't Worry; I was a Boy Scout
     (Bondage and S&M - 56 Questions)
 
 1329. Do you consider Bondage a way of showing that you care for
    another person?
 
    Have you ('voluntarily'):
 
 1330. improvised bondage extemporaneously during sexual activity (e.g.
    holding someone's wrists over their head)?
 1331. worn a collar/leash for erotic purposes?
 1332. been gagged for erotic purposes?
 1333. been gagged with somebody else's underwear?
 1334. been tied up for erotic purposes (ropes, scarfs, ties)?
 1335. been tied up and fucked?
 1336. been tied up and NOT fucked (teased)?
 1337. been tied up and masturbated upon?
 1338. been tied up and had to watch others?
 1339. been tied up knowing you might be seen by others?
 1340. been tied up with the intention of being seen by others?
 1341. been tied up and shown to others, only you didn't know this was
    intended?
 1342. willingly had your head inserted in a toilet bowl?
 1343. tied someone up for erotic purposes?
 1344. tied someone up and fucked them?
 1345. tied someone up and NOT fucked them?
 1346. tied someone up and masturbated on them?
 1347. tied someone up and had them watch?
 1348. tied someone up and shown them to others?
 1349. tied someone up and shown them to others, only he/she didn't
    know this was intended?
 1350. been bound in chains?
 1351. been bound and had someone whip you?
 1352. been whipped until you bled?
 1353. bound someone in chains (handcuffs, leg irons or plain chain)?
 1354. bound someone and whipped them?
 1355. whipped someone until they bled?
 1356. had your lips pierced?
 1357. had your tongue pierced?
 1358. had your nipples pierced?
 1359. had your other lips pierced (or penis)?
 1360. pierced someone else's lips?
 1361. pierced someone else's tongue?
 1362. pierced someone else's nipples?
 1363. pierced someone else's other lips (or penis)?
 1364. had candle wax put on your nipples?
 1365. had candle wax put on any other body parts?
 1366. put candle wax on someone else's nipples?
 1367. put candle wax on any other body parts of someone else?
 1368. practiced flagellation?
 1369. gotten any good at it?
 1370. used duct tape for bondage purposes (remove slowly!)?
 1371. been hit with a 2x4 for sexual purpose (it's more fun than you
    can shake a stick at)?
 1372. fantasized of being tied up for erotic purposes?
 1373. fantasized of tying someone up for erotic purposes?
 1374. fantasized of tying someone up to show them to others?
 1375. fantasized of tying someone up to have them watch?
 1376. bought bondage & discipline literature?
 1377. read "The Story of O"?
 1378. read both volumes of "The Story of O"?
 1379. seen the movie "The Story of O"?
 1380. posed for B&D drawings?
 1381. posed for B&D photographs?
 1382. asked someone to pose for B&D drawings?
 1383. asked someone to pose for B&D photographs?
 1384. asked someone to pose for B&D movies?
 
 
 
 XV. Mama Always Told Me to Share
    (Group Sexual Activities - 30 Questions)
 
    Have you:
 
 1385. been in intimate contact with more than one nude person at a
    time?
 1386. skinny-dipped in mixed company?
 1387. participated in group masturbation (each member masturbating
    themselves, a 'circle-o-jerk')?
 1388. participated in a group masturbation contest (first to come/last
    to come/most colorful/soggy cookie/whatever)?
 1389. won a group masturbation contest?
 1390. played any game which required the removal of clothing (strip
    poker, Monopoly, chess)?
 1391. deliberately lost a game which required the removal of clothing
    (folding with four aces)?
 1392. played a game which required you or others to perform a sexual
    action on another participant?
 1393. been to a Wesson (or whatever) oil party?
 1394. walked in on others, unaware that they were engaged in sexual
    activity, and been asked to join and did so?
 1395. had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
    activity and ask to join?
 1396. had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual
    activity and you asked them to join?
 1397. been involved in a menage-a-trios?
 1398. been involved in a homosexual menage-a-trois?
 1399. been invited to be involved in a menage-a-trios?
 1400. invited someone to join in a menage-a-trios?
 1401. participated in a two (or more) in one (hands don't count)?
 1402. participated in group sex (four or more people; partners must be
    exchanged)?
 1403. had sex in a group (four or more people; partners not
    exchanged)?
 1404. participated in a circle-o-fuck?
 1405. participated in a homosexual circle-o-fuck?
 1406. participated in a '69' circle?
 1407. participated in a homosexual '69' circle?
 1408. participated in an orgy or similar group activity (four or more
    people; everybody licking and sucking and fucking everybody
    else)?
 1409. made an invitation to join in an orgy or similar group activity?
 1410. ever been involved in a gang-bang [banger or bangee (step right
    up, come and get it while it's hot)]?
 1411. participated in a fuck-a-thon (where the object is to see how
    many times you can have sex in a set period of time)?
 1412. ever performed oral sex on somebody after they had had
    intercourse with somebody else (without them washing or
    douching)?
 1413. ever had somebody perform oral sex on you while you were having
    intercourse with somebody else (pretty picture, eh?)?
 1414. ever had the person you were having intercourse with perform
    oral sex on you during intercourse (flexible!)?
 
 
 
 XVI. Old MacDonald had his Farm, E-I-E-I-OHHHHHHH!
    (Bestiality - 28 Questions)
 
   Have you:
 
 1415. flirted with animals?
 1416. masturbated onto an animal?
 1417. masturbated with (using the aid of) an animal?
 1418. masturbated with an animal because you thought the animal
    enjoyed it?
 1419. performed oral sex on an animal?
 1420. received oral sex from an animal?
 1421. attempted to receive oral sex from an animal, but failed?
 1422. used in sexual activities a lab animal (mouse, gerbil, etc.)?
 1423. used in sexual activities a domestic animal (dog, cat, etc.)?
 1424. used in sexual activities a farm animal (cow, sheep, chicken,
    etc.)?
 1425. used in sexual activities a wild animal (tiger, lion, buffalo,
    etc.)?
 1426. used in sexual activities a flock of canaries?
 1427. fucked a live animal?
 1428. fucked a live animal more than once?
 1429. fucked more than one kind of animal?
 1430. fucked more than one kind of animal at the same time?
 1431. used the horn of a unicorn as a dildo?
 1432. performed sexual activity with any mythical creature?
 1433. inserted animals (gerbils, etc) into a female's (including your
    own) naughty bits?
 1434. inserted animals into your or somebody else's rectum?
 1435. had an animal die during any of the above activities?
 1436. fucked a dead animal?
 1437. fucked a dinner animal (stuff that turkey, Clyde!)?
 1438. tied up an animal and performed sexual acts on it?
 1439. fed a live animal to a pet?
 1440. been to a dog or cock fight?
 1441. tortured an animal for your own pleasure?
 1442. mutilated any animal for your own pleasure?
 1443. eaten the animal after you performed any of the above
    activities?
 
 
 
 XVII. Let there be Lips!
     (The Rocky Horror Picture Show [RHPS] - 42 Questions)
 
    Have you:
 
 1444. seen RHPS (video or wherever)?
 1445. seen RHPS in the theatre?
 1446. seen RHPS more than 69 times in the theatre?
 1447. more than 100 times?
 1448. more than 500 times?
 1449. more than 1000 times?
 1450. more than 1500 times?
 1451. are you Sal Piro?
 1452. joined the national RHPS fan club?
 1453. seen RHPS with a live cast?
 1454. seen RHPS while drunk or stoned?
 1455. seen RHPS while on acid?
 1456. seen RHPS while on any other drug?
 1457. seen The Rocky Horror Show (the musical play)?
 1458. dressed in costume for an RHPS?
 1459. do you know the entire movie by heart (lyrics and dialogue,
    without any soundtracks playing. Basically, could you recite
    the movie right now for us?)?
 1460. done the Time Warp in the nude?
 1461. done the Time Warp in the nude in mixed company?
 1462. participated in an RHPS production?
 1463. participated in an RHPS as a character of the opposite sex?
 1464. participated in an RHPS as more than one character in one show?
 1465. while you were participating, had "prop failure" (costume
    falling off revealing more than intended)?
 1466. caused someone else to have prop failure?
 1467. participated in an RHPS production while stoned or drunk?
 1468. participated in an RHPS production while on acid?
 1469. participated in an RHPS production while on any other drug?
 1470. during an RHPS, necked/petted?
 1471. during an RHPS, had oral sex?
 1472. during an RHPS, fucked (that's what the back row is for)?
 1473. been kicked out of an RHPS?
 1474. been a member of an RHPS cast?
 
 Have you performed, for an entire show, the part of:
 
 1475. Frank-N-Furter (a scientist)?
 1476. Janet Weiss (a heroine)?
 1477. Brad Majors (a hero)
 1478. Riff Raff (a handyman)?
 1479. Magenta (a domestic)?
 1480. Columbia (a groupie)?
 1481. Dr. Everett V. Scott (a rival scientist)?
 1482. Rocky Horror (a creation)?
 1483. Eddie (ex delivery boy)?
 1484. The Criminologist (an expert)?
 1485. A Transylvanian (a transylvanian)?
 
 
 
 XVIII. Eyes on Your Own Papers, Please
     (Testing - 15 Questions)
 
    Have you:
 
 1486. had an unauthorized crib sheet for a test?
 1487. flunked an IQ test?
 1488. had to study for a blood test?
 1489. lied on a Purity Test to improve you score?
 1490. done something with the intent to 'improve' your Purity Test
    scores or used a Test for inspiration (using the Purity Test as
    a check-list)?
 1491. been jealous of, or impressed by, someone else's test scores?
 1492. read a Purity Test aloud, without omitting sections or being
    embarrassed?
 1493. taken a group purity test?
 1494. taken any form of a purity test more than five times?
 1495. administered a group purity test?
 1496. participated in a purity test with ulterior motives?
 1497. remembered something by taking a purity test?
 1498. written or re-written a purity test?
 
 1499. If you've done something not mentioned on this test, say it
    aloud and let the group decide if you should get a point for it
    (maximum one point per person).
 1500. If you weren't offended by ANYTHING on this test, give yourself
    a point.
 
 
        ------------------------------------------
 
 
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 this test, including but not limited to paternity suits.
 
 
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 The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that
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hAj@ *NEW PAGE*
 Just so we can say that we had forty-two pages...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                        ...Peace, Pot, Microdot
 performed, for an entire show, the part of:
 
 1475. Frank-N-Furter (a scientist)?
 1476. Janet Weiss (a heroine)?
 1477. Brad Majors (a hero)
 1478. Riff Raff M f0p 
GERBILDOC3    B                                                                                                                                                                     CR N  N                      D N N N  PRINTER                              
            L@@ 0[1T2TT3T4TTT6T7T]
 Answer sheet for the 1500 point Purity Test   Final Score__________
 
 Name_________________ Age____ Gender____ Sexual Preference____________
 
 
 I. The Lamer Section - (90 Questions)
 
   1)__  2)__  3)__  4)__  5)__  6)__  7)__  8)__  9)__ 10)__
  11)__ 12)__ 13)__ 14)__ 15)__ 16)__ 17)__ 18)__ 19)__ 20)__
  21)__ 22)__ 23)__ 24)__ 25)__ 26)__ 27)__ 28)__ 29)__ 30)__
  31)__ 32)__ 33)__ 34)__ 35)__ 36)__ 37)__ 38)__ 39)__ 40)__
  41)__ 42)__ 43)__ 44)__ 45)__ 46)__ 47)__ 48)__ 49)__ 50)__
  51)__ 52)__ 53)__ 54)__ 55)__ 56)__ 57)__ 58)__ 59)__ 60)__
  61)__ 62)__ 63)__ 64)__ 65)__ 66)__ 67)__ 68)__ 69)__ 70)__
  71)__ 72)__ 73)__ 74)__ 75)__ 76)__ 77)__ 78)__ 79)__ 80)__
  81)__ 82)__ 83)__ 84)__ 85)__ 86)__ 87)__ 88)__ 89)__ 90)__
 
 
 II. Who Says You Need a Partner? OR I'm The Best I've Ever Had
    - (91 Questions)
 
  91)__ 92)__ 93)__ 94)__ 95)__ 96)__ 97)__ 98)__ 99)__ 100)__
 101)__ 102)__ 103)__ 104)__ 105)__ 106)__ 107)__ 108)__ 109)__ 110)__
  111)__ 112)__ 113)__ 114)__ 115)__ 116)__ 117)__ 118)__ 119)__ 120)__
  121)__ 122)__ 123)__ 124)__ 125)__ 126)__ 127)__ 128)__ 129)__ 130)__
  131)__ 132)__ 133)__ 134)__ 135)__ 136)__ 137)__ 138)__ 139)__ 140)__
  141)__ 142)__ 143)__ 144)__ 145)__ 146)__ 147)__ 148)__ 149)__ 150)__
  151)__ 152)__ 153)__ 154)__ 155)__ 156)__ 157)__ 158)__ 159)__ 160)__
  161)__ 162)__ 163)__ 164)__ 165)__ 166)__ 167)__ 168)__ 169)__ 170)__
  171)__ 172)__ 173)__ 174)__ 175)__ 176)__ 177)__ 178)__ 179)__ 180)__
  181)__
 
 
 III. How Low Will You Go? - (146 Questions)
 
 182)__ 183)__ 184)__ 185)__ 186)__ 187)__ 188)__ 189)__ 190)__ 191)__
 192)__ 193)__ 194)__ 195)__ 196)__ 197)__ 198)__ 199)__ 200)__ 201)__
 202)__ 203)__ 204)__ 205)__ 206)__ 207)__ 208)__ 209)__ 210)__ 211)__
 212)__ 213)__ 214)__ 215)__ 216)__ 217)__ 218)__ 219)__ 220)__ 221)__
 222)__ 223)__ 224)__ 225)__ 226)__ 227)__ 228)__ 229)__ 230)__ 231)__
 232)__ 233)__ 234)__ 235)__ 236)__ 237)__ 238)__ 239)__ 240)__ 241)__
 242)__ 243)__ 244)__ 245)__ 246)__ 247)__ 248)__ 249)__ 250)__ 251)__
 252)__ 253)__ 254)__ 255)__ 256)__ 257)__ 258)__ 259)__ 260)__ 261)__
 262)__ 263)__ 264)__ 265)__ 266)__ 267)__ 268)__ 269)__ 270)__ 271)__
 272)__ 273)__ 274)__ 275)__ 276)__ 277)__ 278)__ 279)__ 280)__ 281)__
 282)__ 283)__ 284)__ 285)__ 286)__ 287)__ 288)__ 289)__ 290)__ 291)__
 292)__ 293)__ 294)__ 295)__ 296)__ 297)__ 298)__ 299)__ 300)__ 301)__
 302)__ 303)__ 304)__ 305)__ 306)__ 307)__ 308)__ 309)__ 310)__ 311)__
  312)__ 313)__ 314)__ 315)__ 316)__ 317)__ 318)__ 319)__ 320)__ 321)__
  322)__ 323)__ 324)__ 325)__ 326)__ 327)__
 
 
 IV. I Fought the Law and *I* Won - (70 Questions)
 
 328)__ 329)__ 330)__ 331)__ 332)__ 333)__ 334)__ 335)__ 336)__ 337)__
 338)__ 339)__ 340)__ 341)__ 342)__ 343)__ 344)__ 345)__ 346)__ 347)__
 348)__ 349)__ 350)__ 351)__ 352)__ 353)__ 354)__ 355)__ 356)__ 357)__
 358)__ 359)__ 360)__ 361)__ 362)__ 363)__ 364)__ 365)__ 366)__ 367)__
 368)__ 369)__ 370)__ 371)__ 372)__ 373)__ 374)__ 375)__ 376)__ 377)__
 378)__ 379)__ 380)__ 381)__ 382)__ 383)__ 384)__ 385)__ 386)__ 387)__
 388)__ 389)__ 390)__ 391)__ 392)__ 393)__ 394)__ 395)__ 396)__ 397)__
 
 
 V. Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Hiney Ho - (30 Questions)
 
 398)__ 399)__ 400)__ 401)__ 402)__ 403)__ 404)__ 405)__ 406)__ 407)__
 408)__ 409)__ 410)__ 411)__ 412)__ 413)__ 414)__ 415)__ 416)__ 417)__
 418)__ 419)__ 420)__ 421)__ 422)__ 423)__ 424)__ 425)__ 426)__ 427)__
 
 
 VI. This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stick-Up - (86 Questions)
 
 428)__ 429)__ 430)__ 431)__ 432)__ 433)__ 434)__ 435)__ 436)__ 437)__
 438)__ 439)__ 440)__ 441)__ 442)__ 443)__ 444)__ 445)__ 446)__ 447)__
 448)__ 449)__ 450)__ 451)__ 452)__ 453)__ 454)__ 455)__ 456)__ 457)__
 458)__ 459)__ 460)__ 461)__ 462)__ 463)__ 464)__ 465)__ 466)__ 467)__
 468)__ 469)__ 470)__ 471)__ 472)__ 473)__ 474)__ 475)__ 476)__ 477)__
 478)__ 479)__ 480)__ 481)__ 482)__ 483)__ 484)__ 485)__ 486)__ 487)__
 488)__ 489)__ 490)__ 491)__ 492)__ 493)__ 494)__ 495)__ 496)__ 497)__
 498)__ 499)__ 500)__ 501)__ 502)__ 503)__ 504)__ 505)__ 506)__ 507)__
  508)__ 509)__ 510)__ 511)__ 512)__ 513)__
 
 
 VII. Julia Child, Eat Yourself Out - (42 Questions)
 
 514)__ 515)__ 516)__ 517)__ 518)__ 519)__ 520)__ 521)__ 522)__ 523)__
 524)__ 525)__ 526)__ 527)__ 528)__ 529)__ 530)__ 531)__ 532)__ 533)__
 534)__ 535)__ 536)__ 537)__ 538)__ 539)__ 540)__ 541)__ 542)__ 543)__
 544)__ 545)__ 546)__ 547)__ 548)__ 549)__ 550)__ 551)__ 552)__ 553)__
 554)__ 42)__
 
 
 VIII. Something Smells Fishy Down Here - (84 Questions)
 
 556)__ 557)__ 558)__ 559)__ 560)__ 561)__ 562)__ 563)__ 564)__ 565)__
 566)__ 567)__ 568)__ 569)__ 570)__ 571)__ 572)__ 573)__ 574)__ 575)__
 576)__ 577)__ 578)__ 579)__ 580)__ 581)__ 582)__ 583)__ 584)__ 585)__
 586)__ 587)__ 588)__ 589)__ 590)__ 591)__ 592)__ 593)__ 594)__ 595)__
 596)__ 597)__ 598)__ 599)__ 600)__ 601)__ 602)__ 603)__ 604)__ 605)__
 606)__ 607)__ 608)__ 609)__ 610)__ 611)__ 612)__ 613)__ 614)__ 615)__
 616)__ 617)__ 618)__ 619)__ 620)__ 621)__ 622)__ 623)__ 624)__ 625)__
 626)__ 627)__ 628)__ 629)__ 630)__ 631)__ 632)__ 633)__ 634)__ 635)__
  636)__ 637)__ 638)__ 639)__
 
 
 IX. The Nitty and the Gritty - (65 Questions)
 
 640)__ 641)__ 642)__ 643)__ 644)__ 645)__ 646)__ 647)__ 648)__ 649)__
 650)__ 651)__ 652)__ 653)__ 654)__ 655)__ 656)__ 657)__ 658)__ 659)__
 660)__ 661)__ 662)__ 663)__ 664)__ 665)__ 666)__ 667)__ 668)__ 669)__
 670)__ 671)__ 672)__ 673)__ 674)__ 675)__ 676)__ 677)__ 678)__ 679)__
 680)__ 681)__ 682)__ 683)__ 684)__ 685)__ 686)__ 687)__ 688)__ 689)__
 690)__ 691)__ 692)__ 693)__ 694)__ 695)__ 696)__ 697)__ 698)__ 699)__
  700)__ 701)__ 702)__ 703)__ 704)__
 
 
 X. The Meaning Of Life - (124 Questions)
 
 705)__ 706)__ 707)__ 708)__ 709)__ 710)__ 711)__ 712)__ 713)__ 714)__
 715)__ 716)__ 717)__ 718)__ 719)__ 720)__ 721)__ 722)__ 723)__ 724)__
  725)__ 726)__ 727)__ 728)__ 729)__ 730)__ 731)__ 732)__ 733)__ 734)__
 735)__ 736)__ 737)__ 738)__ 749)__ 750)__ 751)__ 752)__ 753)__ 754)__
 755)__ 756)__ 757)__ 758)__ 759)__ 760)__ 761)__ 762)__ 763)__ 764)__
 765)__ 766)__ 767)__ 768)__ 769)__ 770)__ 771)__ 772)__ 773)__ 774)__
 775)__ 776)__ 777)__ 778)__ 779)__ 780)__ 781)__ 782)__ 783)__ 784)__
 785)__ 786)__ 787)__ 788)__ 789)__ 790)__ 791)__ 792)__ 793)__ 794)__
 795)__ 796)__ 797)__ 798)__ 799)__ 800)__ 801)__ 802)__ 803)__ 804)__
 805)__ 806)__ 807)__ 808)__ 809)__ 810)__ 811)__ 812)__ 813)__ 814)__
 815)__ 816)__ 817)__ 818)__ 819)__ 820)__ 821)__ 822)__ 823)__ 824)__
  825)__ 826)__ 827)__ 828)__
 
 
 XI. Green Eggs and Ham - (178 Questions)
 
 829)__ 830)__ 831)__ 832)__ 833)__ 834)__ 835)__ 836)__ 837)__ 838)__
 839)__ 840)__ 841)__ 842)__ 843)__ 844)__ 845)__ 846)__ 847)__ 848)__
 849)__ 850)__ 851)__ 852)__ 853)__ 854)__ 855)__ 856)__ 857)__ 858)__
 859)__ 860)__ 861)__ 862)__ 863)__ 864)__ 865)__ 866)__ 867)__ 868)__
 869)__ 870)__ 871)__ 872)__ 873)__ 874)__ 875)__ 876)__ 877)__ 878)__
 879)__ 880)__ 881)__ 882)__ 883)__ 884)__ 885)__ 886)__ 887)__ 888)__
 889)__ 890)__ 891)__ 892)__ 893)__ 894)__ 895)__ 896)__ 897)__ 898)__
 899)__ 900)__ 901)__ 902)__ 903)__ 904)__ 905)__ 906)__ 907)__ 908)__
 909)__ 910)__ 911)__ 912)__ 913)__ 914)__ 915)__ 916)__ 917)__ 918)__
 919)__ 920)__ 921)__ 922)__ 923)__ 924)__ 925)__ 926)__ 927)__ 928)__
 929)__ 930)__ 931)__ 932)__ 933)__ 934)__ 935)__ 936)__ 937)__ 938)__
 939)__ 940)__ 941)__ 942)__ 943)__ 944)__ 945)__ 946)__ 947)__ 948)__
 949)__ 950)__ 951)__ 952)__ 953)__ 954)__ 955)__ 956)__ 957)__ 958)__
 959)__ 960)__ 961)__ 962)__ 963)__ 964)__ 965)__ 966)__ 967)__ 968)__
 969)__ 970)__ 971)__ 972)__ 973)__ 974)__ 975)__ 976)__ 977)__ 978)__
 979)__ 980)__ 981)__ 982)__ 983)__ 984)__ 985)__ 986)__ 987)__ 988)__
 989)__ 990)__ 991)__ 992)__ 993)__ 994)__ 995)__ 996)__ 997)__ 998)__
  999)__1000)__1001)__1002)__1003)__1004)__1005)__1006)__
 
 
 XII. Look, Ma, No Hands! - (130 Questions)
 
 1007)__1008)__1009)__1010)__1011)__1012)__1013)__1014)__1015)__1016)__
 1017)__1018)__1019)__1020)__1021)__1022)__1023)__1024)__1025)__1026)__
 1027)__1028)__1029)__1030)__1031)__1032)__1033)__1034)__1035)__1036)__
 1037)__1038)__1039)__1040)__1041)__1042)__1043)__1044)__1045)__1046)__
 1047)__1048)__1049)__1050)__1051)__1052)__1053)__1054)__1055)__1056)__
 1057)__1058)__1059)__1060)__1061)__1062)__1063)__1064)__1065)__1066)__
 1067)__1068)__1069)__1070)__1071)__1072)__1073)__1074)__1075)__1076)__
 1077)__1078)__1079)__1080)__1081)__1082)__1083)__1084)__1085)__1086)__
 1087)__1088)__1089)__1090)__1091)__1092)__1093)__1094)__1095)__1096)__
 1097)__1098)__1099)__1100)__1101)__1102)__1103)__1104)__1105)__1106)__
 1107)__1108)__1109)__1110)__1111)__1112)__1113)__1114)__1115)__1116)__
 1117)__1118)__1119)__1120)__1121)__1122)__1123)__1124)__1125)__1126)__
 1127)__1128)__1129)__1130)__1131)__1132)__1133)__1134)__1135)__1136)__
 
 
 XIII. Kids, Don't Try This at Home - (192 Questions)
 
 1137)__1138)__1139)__1140)__1141)__1142)__1143)__1144)__1145)__1146)__
 1147)__1148)__1149)__1150)__1151)__1152)__1153)__1154)__1155)__1156)__
 1157)__1158)__1159)__1160)__1161)__1162)__1163)__1164)__1165)__1166)__
 1167)__1168)__1169)__1170)__1171)__1172)__1173)__1174)__1175)__1176)__
 1177)__1178)__1179)__1180)__1181)__1182)__1183)__1184)__1185)__1186)__
 1187)__1188)__1189)__1190)__1191)__1192)__1193)__1194)__1195)__1196)__
 1197)__1198)__1199)__1200)__1201)__1202)__1203)__1204)__1205)__1206)__
 1207)__1208)__1209)__1210)__1211)__1212)__1213)__1214)__1215)__1216)__
 1217)__1218)__1219)__1220)__1221)__1222)__1223)__1224)__1225)__1226)__
 1227)__1228)__1229)__1230)__1231)__1232)__1233)__1234)__1235)__1236)__
 1237)__1238)__1239)__1240)__1241)__1242)__1243)__1244)__1245)__1246)__
 1247)__1248)__1249)__1250)__1251)__1252)__1253)__1254)__1255)__1256)__
 1257)__1258)__1259)__1260)__1261)__1262)__1263)__1264)__1265)__1266)__
 1267)__1268)__1269)__1270)__1271)__1272)__1273)__1274)__1275)__1276)__
 1277)__1278)__1279)__1280)__1281)__1282)__1283)__1284)__1285)__1286)__
 1287)__1288)__1289)__1290)__1291)__1292)__1293)__1294)__1295)__1296)__
 1297)__1298)__1299)__1300)__1301)__1302)__1303)__1304)__1305)__1306)__
 1307)__1308)__1309)__1310)__1311)__1312)__1313)__1314)__1315)__1316)__
 1317)__1318)__1319)__1320)__1321)__1322)__1323)__1324)__1325)__1326)__
 1327)__1328)__
 
 
 XIV. Don't Worry; I was a Boy Scout - (56 Questions)
 
 1329)__1330)__1331)__1332)__1333)__1334)__1335)__1336)__1337)__1338)__
 1339)__1340)__1341)__1342)__1343)__1344)__1345)__1346)__1347)__1348)__
 1349)__1350)__1351)__1352)__1353)__1354)__1355)__1356)__1357)__1358)__
 1359)__1360)__1361)__1362)__1363)__1364)__1365)__1366)__1367)__1368)__
 1369)__1370)__1371)__1372)__1373)__1374)__1375)__1376)__1377)__1378)__
 1379)__1380)__1381)__1382)__1383)__1384)__
 
 
 XV. Mama Always Told Me to Share - (30 Questions)
 
 1385)__1386)__1387)__1388)__1389)__1390)__1391)__1392)__1393)__1394)__
 1395)__1396)__1397)__1398)__1399)__1400)__1401)__1402)__1403)__1404)__
 1405)__1406)__1407)__1408)__1409)__1410)__1411)__1412)__1413)__1414)__
 
 
 XVI. Old MacDonald had his Farm, E-I-E-I-OHHHHHHH! - (29 Questions)
 
 1415)__1416)__1417)__1418)__1419)__1420)__1421)__1422)__1423)__1424)__
 1425)__1426)__1427)__1428)__1429)__1430)__1431)__1432)__1433)__1434)__
 1435)__1436)__1437)__1438)__1439)__1440)__1441)__1442)__1443)__
 
 
 XVII. Let There Be Lips! - (42 Questions)
 
 1444)__1445)__1446)__1447)__1448)__1449)__1450)__1451)__1452)__1453)__
 1454)__1455)__1456)__1457)__1458)__1459)__1460)__1461)__1462)__1463)__
 1464)__1465)__1466)__1467)__1468)__1469)__1470)__1471)__1472)__1473)__
 1474)__1475)__1476)__1477)__1478)__1479)__1480)__1481)__1482)__1483)__
 1484)__1485)__
 
 
 XVIII. Eyes on Your Own Papers, Please - (15 Questions)
 
 1486)__1487)__1488)__1489)__1490)__1491)__1492)__1493)__1494)__1495)__
 1496)__1497)__1498)__1499)__1500)__
 
        ------------------------------------------
 
 Jason Alan Pfaff
 The Erotic Nightmare Revue
 Toledo, OH
 August 17, 1992
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
faff
 The Erotic Nightmare Revue Toledo, OH
 May ?, 1992
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
tic Nightmare Revue Toledo, OH
 May ?, 1992
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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 The Erotic Nightmare Revue Toledo, OH
 May ?, 1992
                                                                                                 
Newsgroups: rec.humor