HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Lurkers...
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 23:09:30 GMT

In article <1992Aug26.201719.2129@CERIS.Purdue.EDU> dheisler@CERIS.Purdue.EDU (Dave Heisler) writes:
>From article <1992Aug26.192500.21837@cs.hw.ac.uk>, by neilp@cs.hw.ac.uk (Neil Postlethwaite):
>> 
>> Though one things that put off some lurkers I guess, many of the regulars
>> or soc.singles 'old timers' (for want of a better word) seem to have their
>> cliques and are always having their little digs back and forth and I guess
>> people feel a little left out.

Gosh, I must not be paying enough attention--speaking as a soc.singles
newbie (actually a net.newbie as well), I never even noticed the cliques
or bothered to feel left out.  Even when I first started posting (end
of November or so, something like 35 minutes after I started reading)
I didn't feel left out.  

>      i'll agree this is one reason. and I'll give you
>      another,
>
>      you email someone who posts and they never reply.
>      (yes, assuming it it got there) 

I know, I'm guilty of that one--even now that mail seems to be working
out here again.  Lately I've been worse than ever, possibly in part
because this is the first time that Nyx has stayed up long enough for
me to catch up on even a single newsgroup since the middle of last week.
(Seems like we've been running a MTBF of approximately 35 minutes for
the last couple of months.)  Anyway, anyone who's feeling horribly
neglected out there, sorry--I'm not ignoring you, really I'm not.

Trygve    (Though I must admit that when I get a letter consisting
           of one of my messages quoted in its entirety with the
           line "awwright dude!" appended to the end, I can be at
           a loss for words.) 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: fredw@mks.com (Fred Walter)
Subject: Re: Can you accept criticism ? (was Re: Why lurkers lurk ...)
Organization: Mortice Kern Systems Inc., Waterloo, Ontario, CANADA
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 19:09:44 GMT

Ross Ridge <ross@zooid.guild.org> writes:
>ross@zooid.guild.org (Ross Ridge) writes:
>>You know, Fred, that reminds me of something one of your ex-roomates
>>once told me about you...
>
>fredw@mks.com (Fred Walter) writes:
>>Well, geez, don't keep me (and 90000 of my fans :-) in suspense ...
>
>Actually I've forgotten it.  All I can remeber is that she desparately
>wanted to avoid you.

Geez, it's bullshit stories like this that help explain some of the crap
I frequently run into. Aside from female family members when I was growing up,
I've only had female roommates twice. Once, about 7.5 years ago, and you
have never talked with her, and my current one, who's only been my room-mate
for 4 months, and I doubt you've ever talked with her (seeing how you've
not been geographically in a position to talk with her).

A personal pet peeve of mine is gossip. Every so often I hear from friends
of mine what their friends (people who don't know me well, or, even more
amusing, people who don't know me at all, people who have never even met me)
say about me. Nameless people, because my friends won't tell me who is
spreading the bullshit about me, because they don't want to get in trouble
with those friends. And my friends are amazed (as am I) at how little truth
there is in the stories.  Is this common, or do the friends of my friends
contain a larger than normal percentage of gossiping liars ?

>>An even better question, how does one give constructive criticism
>>without it coming across as a personal attack ?
>
>I don't worry about how it comes across, I just try be honest. 

How it comes across is important if you want the other person to actually
listen to what you are saying.

"I think you're mistaken about what you just said in reference to me."
is more likely to be heard than
"You are lying."

Now that I've said the above to you, tell me again that it does not matter
how criticism is presented.

	fred
-- 
Disclaimer: everything I write is my *personal* opinion and does not represent
or reflect the opinion of the company which employs me.
From: jbuck@forney.berkeley.edu (Joe Buck)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Why lurkers lurk ...
Date: 29 Aug 1992 22:03:29 GMT
Organization: U. C. Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: forney.berkeley.edu

In article <1693@spam.ua.oz> dcook@spam.ua.oz (David Cook) writes:
>People outside the US have the disadvantage of seeing news with
>a large delay after it was posted, eg locally, the most recent 
>articles I see are already 2 days old.

It's only been since NNTP became common that propagation time dropped
to what it is now; a few years back, most everybody saw many postings
with 2 days or more of delay.  You guys only have two days of delay now?
When Australia first got its newsfeed, it was done by mailing them a
magtape.  (Geezer mode on: back in the good old days, we toggled in our
postings on the front panels of our PDP-8's and sent 'em with the Smoke
Signal Peripheral :-).

> Whenever I'm about to
>post, I think about whether there's any point in continuing a
>thread that may have died out days before I join it. Also,
>many of the threads get hashed out very quickly by those
>geographically near to each other.

Really?  As someone who's participated in net.singles/soc.singles off
and on (off in recent months) since early 1985, I can assure you that
many of the major threads are exactly the same.  I could respond today
to postings made back then, and few would know the difference (they'd
wonder why their new-fangled threaded newsreader couldn't find the
parent article, but that would be about it).

>Many people worry about articles being read by those at their
>place of work/study (eg those CS undergrads I mentioned may
>be reading this article :-)

This may be a good thing -- I can think of a few people who've had
bad experiences because they didn't fully consider the consequences
of posting the details of their personal lives to the world.  If
you post, people will misunderstand, people will take offense, you may
attract more attention than you expect.  There is a certain risk to it.
There are also payoffs as well -- people all over the world reading and
interacting with what you write, meeting new people, etc.  It's been
more than worth it for me.






--
Joe Buck	jbuck@ohm.berkeley.edu
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: Kiran Wagle
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 92 15:44:18 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <SCHOCK.92Aug25215923@fsd.cpsc.UCalgary.ca> schock@cpsc.UCalgary.ca (schock) writes:
>In article <1992Aug24.181020.10358@walter.cray.com> cfg@cray.com (Cindy Glass) writes:
>>I wrote:
>>>Hmmmm, maybe lurking is like being a voyeur.  There must be some "Lurker's  
>>>Anonymous" group somewhere :-)
>... alt.lurkers.rehabilitation.  Perhaps there is some kind hearted moderator
>who posts some freudian-like questions to get lurkers out into the open :-)
>Maybe alt.lurkers.advocacy.A place where lurkers don't post messages about the 
>benefits of being a lurker.

There was, of course, an alt.lurker, but it got cancelled due to lack of
postings...
r.
(OK- >somebody< had to say it :)

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie (Emma Williams)
Subject: Re: Finding Long Romantic Partners
Keywords: Lime Pie
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 11:57:40 GMT

In <1992Aug27.185143.10301@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:

>In article <ewillims.714822159@unix1.tcd.ie> ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie (Emma Williams) writes:
>>	
>>	laboratory???  Isn't that another word for your dungeon??
>>Don't you chain people up in your dungeon? (*GRIN*)

>Oh, sometimes--but there are lots of other techniques that I can use to
>persuade them not to leave....

	Well, John did mention your hot tub but I would have thought
a dungeon was a very peculiar place to have one... (*Dubious Look*)


>>>Trygve   (I'll provide plenty of chocolate sauce.) 
>>	
>>	Hmmmm.....maybe I'll come after all!:>
>>
>Guaranteed.  (Or your monkey back.) 
	
	Oh, you demand payment in kind? (*GRIN*)
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Personal Ads
Date: 27 Aug 92 20:09:52 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <1992Aug24.172231.26044@cbfsb.cb.att.com> yyz@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (donald.w.coons) writes:

>Ok call me cruel, but a friend of mine gave me a single's magazine and the
>following personal struck me as funny:

>SWF 30's 5 ft 190 pounds (but slimming) left arm amputee but please look
>past it, looking for men for romance, please respond.

Oh, I see, you were supposed to look past her arm stump to look at
her breasts?  That might even work for her, and is kinda funny to
think about.

(Of course, if you thought it was funny because a large one-armed
woman would never get a date anyway, you have a LOT of learning to
do about some stuff.  Did you catch a post from me a couple of
weeks ago about the wedding I attended this past weekend?)

>Maybe she has a sister for you James.

Now this is half funny :-)

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
The sun is gonna shine again / We're gonna make it 'round that bend
I'll walk another mile with you, 'cause you're my friend
The sun is gonna shine again.			- Graham Parker
From: liz@prc.unisys.com (Liz Loquacious)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Can we can the suck-up bit?
Date: 1 Sep 92 17:42:41 GMT
Followup-To: soc.singles
Organization: Paramax Systems

In article <BtwqIt.DKy@news.udel.edu>, zagar@chester.cms.udel.edu (Randy Zagar) writes:
|> I don't know about the kids growing up now, but when I grew up in the South,
|> I (and most everyone else) was taught that being complimentary and openly helpful
|> and polite was something that everyone should be doing.
|> 
|> As far as I can tell, for every offended person (male or female) there's
|> at least three that are openly appreciative, and another 5 or 6 that are shocked/surprized to find that polite behavior still exists.
|> 
|> The odds (as I've measured them) appear to be in my favor,

I'm sure they are.  I've been on the receiving end lately of a neighbors
generosity.  Since we talked about my not being able to swing paying for
lawn maintenance he's taken to cutting the portion of my lawn which is 
adjacent to a lawn which he gets paid to cut and it takes about 20 minutes
off my lawn cutting time since he now does this.  I'm not offended at all.
It's tough keeping up this house and yard.  I wasn't a single mom when I
bought it and I'll be moving eventually to something more manageable
but for now I really appreciate the help.

Liz Loquacious has some cool neighbors
From: suopanki@zombie.oulu.fi (Heikki Suopanki)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Why lurkers lurk ...
Date: 30 Aug 92 02:01:36 GMT
Reply-To: suopanki@phoenix.oulu.fi
Organization: Unixverstas Olutensin, Finlandia


>>>>> On 29 Aug 92 16:05:42 GMT, dcook@spam.ua.oz (David Cook) said:

David> People outside the US have the disadvantage of seeing news with
David> a large delay after it was posted, eg locally, the most recent 
David> articles I see are already 2 days old. 

Oh really? The most recent ones I see are two hours old. And it seems
your article was posted less than 12 hours ago and it has probably
arrived here many hours ago. I'm sure many sites in the US has much
slower feed.  

David> btw: Someone mentioned 200 articles/day being the norm for soc.singles ..
David> Are a lot of people using strange 'Distribution:' lines or something ?
David> We don't get nearly that many (and reading doesn't take long, with
David> liberal use of 'k' (in rn) :-).

I prefer liberal use of 'c'.

-Heikki

--
         /\                   /\                    /\          
        (  |   ______        (  |   ______         (  |   ______ 
       ( * |../  ___/       ( * |../  ___/        ( * |../  ___/ 
         ( o o )^             ( o o )^              ( o o )^    
        ( -.x.- )            ( -.x.- )             ( -.x.- )
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Kiran Wagle
Date: 26 Aug 92 17:47:23 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Stef Jones (stef@Apple.COM) wrote:
: That means that if you don't 
: like soc.singles, you can either put up, unsubscribe, or flood it with the 
: sorts of posts that you do want to see until people either get fed up and 
: try to flame you off the group, or proclaim you a net.god and smear your
: neck with garlic-chocolate-pizza sauce and lick it off while deep-throating
: a peeled banana.

In soc.singles, you either post, follow-up, or get out of the way...

-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: gds@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Oh, no! Statistics! Run!! :-)
Date: 26 Aug 92 15:06:52 GMT
Reply-To: gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Organization: too funky
Originator: gds@oahu.cs.ucla.edu

In article <1992Aug26.045041.8633@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>In article <1992Aug24.191730.2958@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
>>Is Denver friendly to everybody?  Does every person get spoken to by
>>passers by on the street?
>Though I haven't done a formal study, I don't see why not--in fact, 
>before it came up on soc.singles, I'd assumed that this was typical
>behavior everywhere. 

Why would you assume that?  Do you suppose, for example, that in
South Boston, passers by (strangers) are treated in a friendly way by
the locals?  I would say it would depend on what ethnic group those
passers by belonged to.  I recall reading a news article about an
Asian man who just happened to "pass by" a neighborhood in South
Boston, and got beat up.

--gregbo
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude)
Subject: Re: Powerful forces of nature conspire
Organization: None, today. Thank you.
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 18:14:57 GMT

 ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie (Emma Williams) quips...
>> thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow) writes:
>
>>I just heard an unsubstantiated rumor (from my nephew) that they
>>has 12 inches of snow in Lethbridge, Alberta on Friday, Aug. 28.
>
>>Hey Emma, wanna go make a snowman?  :-)
>
>	12 inches,huh?  Wow, that could be a great snowman! :>

	NEW RELEASE at your favorite video store...
		Emma does Frosty       ;^)

-- 
Puter	puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com	.sig by Generic Labels
(Put irritating title here)		(Put phone # here.)
(Put obnoxious quote here. Please make it as long as possible.)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: The Dawn of Suckups (Was: Re: Bananas)
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 16:00:29 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <1992Aug29.125914.18314@uwm.edu> markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark) writes:

>Yes!  Ho. Ho.  Yes!  You too can be a recipient of a major suckup.  Just check
>for my name on the package.  One of YOU, will receive a delivery in the mail
>before the end of the month.  Yes!  Ho. Ho.

Will it come with a custom form letter direct from Las Vegas?  :-)

(Yo, Emma!  How was that?)

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
Across the evening sky, all the birds are leaving
But how can they know it's time for them to go?		- Sandy Denny
From: rkf@wildrose.infoserv.com (Ray Fink)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Independence (was Re: Commitment--The C-word?)
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 92 22:57:19 MDT
Distribution: world
Organization: Wild Rose Refugee Camp

rudoff@mdd.comm.mot.com (Doug Rudoff) writes:

> Twice in the last year and half I have met women who are very
> independent and it appeared to me that they were so independent mainly
> ...
> Both of the women I came very close to being intimate with and both
> after some hesitating LJBFed me. And me being poorly skilled in the
> ...
> It seems I need to make better choices in the women I pursue. It's not
> like independence is a shallow criteria to be attracted to someone.

It's not clear that there's anything wrong with your choices in women.
Sometimes they're just not interested, sometimes they've just got the
walls up *sooo* high.

But I'd rather deal with those hurts than get mired in some sticky
dependent hall-of-mirrors with a woman who hasn't developed the strength
to be herself.  When a woman starts doing the knight-in-shining-armor
routine on me, I find the exit.

Maybe, from her (their) perspective, you were putting her in a similar
situation, being a little too willing to change *yourself* ?  
(Having done that myself...ow.)

-- Ray

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: Ross Ridge <ross@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Re: Can you accept criticism ? (was Re: Why lurkers lurk ...)
Organization: ZOOiD BBS
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 08:37:24 GMT

ross@zooid.guild.org (Ross Ridge) writes:
>You know, Fred, that reminds me of something one of your ex-roomates
>once told me about you...

fredw@mks.com (Fred Walter) writes:
>Well, geez, don't keep me (and 90000 of my fans :-) in suspense ...

Actually I've forgotten it.  All I can remeber is that she desparately
wanted to avoid you.

>This reminds me of something else - who can take criticism (constructive
>criticism that is) without getting upset ?

No one I've noticed.

>An even better question, how does one give constructive criticism
>without it coming across as a personal attack ?

I don't worry about how it comes across, I just try be honest. 

							Ross Ridge

btw, you shouldn't put a space before a question mark (?) at the
end of a sentence.

-- 
Ross Ridge - The Great HTMU					     l/	 //
								    [OO][oo]
ross@zooid.guild.org						    /()\/()/
uunet.ca!zooid!ross						     db	 //
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: allisson@turing.toronto.edu (H. Allisson Roome)
Subject: Re: Finding Romantic Partners (on the net)
Organization: Some and growing
Distribution: na
Date: 26 Aug 92 15:06:43 GMT

In article <1992Aug24.223555.20414@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.ibm.com writes:
>In  <4015@moscom.UUCP>  wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien) writes:
>> H. Allisson Roome (allisson@turing.toronto.edu) wrote:
>> : Now, Larry, you promised that you wouldn't lock me in the hammock swing
>> : again with the handcuffs ...
>>
>> Leg-cuffs this time?
>
>Don't encourage her; she's just trying to make Paul jealous.  :-)
>
>Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)

Umm .. how could I do that?  I never knew friends got jealous over their
friends liasons ... besides, I know where my heart is and it's not NYC.

Allisson

-- 
allisson@turing.toronto.edu (new address)       H. Allisson Roome
"Teach only love, and learn that love is yours and you are love."(A.C.I.M/p.92)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie (Emma Williams)
Subject: Re: Notifying the Recipient (was: Re: The Dawn of Suckups (Was: Re: Bananas))
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 13:39:59 GMT

In <1992Aug29.173309.5762@uwm.edu> markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark) writes:

>In article <thurlow.715104029@convex.convex.com> thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow) writes:
>>In <1992Aug29.125914.18314@uwm.edu> markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark) writes:
>>
>>>Yes!  Ho. Ho.  Yes!  You too can be a recipient of a major suckup.  Just check
>>>for my name on the package.  One of YOU, will receive a delivery in the mail
>>>before the end of the month.  Yes!  Ho. Ho.
>>
>>Will it come with a custom form letter direct from Las Vegas?  :-)
>>
>>(Yo, Emma!  How was that?)

>I'm sure that she'll be able to tell you, herself, after she receives the Big
>Notification. :)

>After announcing the winner, it behooves us to remind the recipient to carefully
>read the Small Print that comes with the Notification -- with a microscope even.
	In case there is a sneaky little sub-clause stating that the victim,
I mean winner, has to be indentured to you for life?  (*GRIN*)

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: walter (Walter Lego)
Subject: Re: Where the best posts come from
Followup-To: soc.singles
Reply-To: nobody
Organization: Twisted Pair Inc.
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 19:26:19 GMT

In article <1992Aug31.170403.22670@news.acns.nwu.edu> drmax@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Marianna Max) writes:
>
>Okay next Question: Do women remember slights and small insults and hold them
>against the insultor for longer than men? Are women more easily insulted
>than men? 

As long as we are talking about generic men and women and I can borrow Dawn's
armchair....

It is red apples and green apples. A man is *easily* insulted for things 
that directly affect what he thinks other people perceive him to be. A woman 
is *easily* insulted for things that directly affect what she thinks herself 
to be. In the presence of an audience, you can insult a man as easily as you
can insult a woman, but perhaps with slightly different insults.

As for holding it against the offender, men are more likely to escalate the
situation and have it out right then and there and resolve the situation
to one's satisfaction or unconsciousness whichever comes earlier. Women are 
more likely to ponder over the insult and determine its personal, world and
cosmic significances before deciding whether an immediate retaliation
is necessary. If it isn't life-threatening and/or accumulated grudges in the
past haven't built up to a certain threshold, they are more likely to add
the current insult to the balance sheet for consideration in the future.
On the other hand, a man would do the same only if he hasn't been given a
chance for immediate satisfaction.

						Walter

What smileys?
From: ch2m@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Christopher  Houston)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Just testing...
Date: 3 Sep 92 03:32:06 GMT
Organization: University of Virginia


Just testing, trying to make sure that things are going though...
(No replies needed or requested; same goes for flaming...)
From: deannab@hpmwtd.sr.hp.com (Deanna Bergstrom)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: chemistry / love at first sight : fact or fiction?
Date: 3 Sep 92 15:54:35 GMT
Organization: HP Santa Rosa Site (NMD MTA MWTD)

It can happen......

Many years ago, after several years of loudly proclaiming to the
world (and myself) that even "in love" was something people used
to delude themselves, I met a man while skiing and fell in love that
same day.  Fortunately, he did too.  The chemistry was just right,
I guess.

It was my longest relationship....5 1/2 years.  But even people in 
love can grow and change and fall out of love (or interpret the
lower intensity of feeling that comes in a long-term relationship
as "out of love").

I've had other times of "instant chemistry" but nothing that
even came close to that one.

I've also had (have!) a relationship develop slowly from friendship
that had some sort of "chemistry" right from the beginning, just not
so obvious.

Deanna (95% lurker)
deannab@sr.hp.com