From: li@Data-IO.COM (Liralen Li)
Subject: Re: Callahan's is for everyone
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 19:28:40 GMT

In article <1b1s7nINN6oj@gap.caltech.edu> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:

I'm also answering the above, below.  And if that didn't confuse you...

>In article <122420134@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM>, daq@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom) writes:
>=Great post Liralen.  I agree fully.

Thanks, Doug.  :)  I was amused to see that I wrote it after you'd already
written your post that said pretty much the same thing and I hadn't seen 
yours yet, because of the Net delays...

Is amusing.

Wanted to also say that I agree with John Palmer, too, in that the
friendships and emotions that *are* generated on the Net aren't 'nothing',
and, in fact, can be quite powerful.  Which doesn't contradict anything
you said, but, I felt needed to be seconded.  I also wanted to point out,
though, that that particular phenomenon is NOT directly linked to
alt.callahans alone.  *EVERY* newsgroup, if one gets involved enough in it,
can provide email and Net friendships and real-space parties and meetings.

In fact, I, personally, don't think that the emotions are any *less* for
not being able to be physically present.  Simply different.  As a friend
pointed out to me from the corners of this place, a child that was raised
in a bubble due to a lack of an immune system must still be able to love,
communicate, and form relationships.  Those must be done without physical
contact, and, therefore, must be possible.

Chuckle...  Hmmm... don't know if this is going to date me irretrivably,
but the friendships and relationships that I've formed on the Net are
*exactly* of the same flavor as the long-distance relationships that I
used to form as a pen pal.  And they have the same pitfalls and the same
interesting problems of it being very, very easy to only deal with someone
who is focusing on *you* for the hour/hours that they are writing you.
But sometimes far harder to deal with a day-to-day interaction with the
same person *in person*.  Infactuations and idealizations are *really*
easy when one cannot see the person except when they are concentrating on
communication with you.  Grin.

But the nice parts are being able to communicate with an emotional and
intellectual intimacy that is impossible without that kind of concentration
and focus.  Partially because there is the safety valve OF that distance.


In article <1b1s7nINN6oj@gap.caltech.edu> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:

>Another armchair psychiatrist?  Or just someone who hasn't taken the trouble to
>follow the thread?  

Uhm... StM, I think that doug was just agreeing with the premise that
'Callahan's can't solve everything for everyone.'  I apologize for the
reiteration of yet another patron's on-the-spot analysis of what might
have been 'wrong' with you, which, of course, considering the 'experience'
involved, was in and of itself wrong.  

That was irresponsible of me.

And I do apologize.

>FYI, the item in question was due in large part because I
>*AM* getting professional help.  For diabetes.  I'm currently using insulin.

Cool.

Though, one might ask, if you weren't using insulin, wouldn't the mood
swings be even worse, with possible deadly results?

>That carries with it the risk of severe hypoglycemia.  There's absolutely *NO*
>way to avoid the possibility.  One can only try to minimize the chances and
>take appropriate action in the event of an attack.

Yup.  Risk management.  Best you can do, and I hope that it works.

Chuckle... 

Should have *also* noted...

Even 'professionals' can't fix *everything*.

>Really, Doug, you ought to consider following your own advice.

And, perhaps, you might be a little less defensive where Doug is concerned.
I seriously doubt that he was targetting you in particular, and, actually,
I agree with his assessment of your post when you were hypoglycemic.  In
fact, you agreed with that assessment as well when you posted your
apology.  A simple fact.

From my experience, Doug simply tells it like it is.  He does not name
call, nor does he put people down.  When he disagrees, he does it
straightforwardly and doesn't mince around things.  A style that's sure to
earn him a few bruised egos, occassionally, but you might *think* about
what he's actually saying as opposed to what you think he's saying. 

Heck... I say that 'til I'm blue in the face across the whole Net, and no
one listens to me then, either...  let the Flames roar...

Chuckle...

Can't hurt to *try*.
---
Liralen Li
li@inigo.Data-IO.com
Newsgroups: alt.callahans