From: kzim@watserv.ucr.edu (Christopher Robin Zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Prime Time Wrestling - 9/11/92
Keywords: Look at that Clown!
Date: 11 Nov 92 01:39:09 GMT

Prime Time Wrestling, shown on the USA Television Network 9.11.92

Same old opening credits, but they've GOT to change them soon.  I guess a  
brief glimpse of Hawk is still ok?

The "panel of experts" includes Hillbilly Jim, Hacksaw Jim Duggan (WBF  
tank(?!?)), Vince McMahon, Bobby the Brain Heenan, and Mr. Perfect.  For  
once, Vince introduces Heenan and Perfect first.  Vince mentions that Marty  
Janetty was fined as a result of the mirror fracas.

"Courtesy Superstars--last week" Janetty tears up the place.  Thank God  
Hebner didn't get hurt.

Marty Janetty v. Skinner (commentators Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes)   
Y'know, I missed that old Rockers music.  Once again a WWF match opens with  
Vince's version of mat wrestling.  Commentators are amazed that Janetty has  
returned, implying that Janetty worked no matches between the Barbershop  
split and the Trial.  Monsoon reckons that Sensational Sherri will not be in  
the corner at SS, a fact which was also implied in one of Okerlund's updates  
over the weekend.  All this time Skinner has been working on the left leg,  
and Janetty has developed a Savage limp.  Janetty has a resurgence but is  
foolish enough to atomic drop Skinner on his wounded knee.  Skinner seizes  
the advantage but gets his face slammed into the canvas.  He's out just long  
enough for Marty to climb the turnbuckle and drop a forearm.  1,2,3, and  
Janetty walks off the pain.

Travels of the WWF update:  Normally, I don't include this, but I couldn't  
help but notice that the Titan gang can't spell "San Bernadino."  Since I  
attend college down here in the Inland Empire, I felt I had to call this to  
your attention.

Cable-style ad for SS.  I'll comment on this in my next article.

Rick Martel (sailor outfit, pipe, no feathers) v. Ken Johnson (Monsoon,  
Hayes)  Inset interview with Martel (who *is* wearing the feathers), who  
accuses Tatanka of being an "Indian giver."  Mat wrestling and quick Boston  
crab.  There's a Clown in the audience. Hayes:  "...quick to earn the wroth  
of the Native American..."  Monsoon:  "...and the wrath, too!"

The panel discusses Tatanka's undefeated record.  Heenan refers to Tatanka as  
"Old Buffalo Breath."  Hillbilly Jim does another amazing segueway into an ad  
for those great new, cheap WWF "Limited Editions", six of 'em, and we get a  
clip from "WrestleMania's greatest matches," from WM8, Ric Flair v. Randy  
Savage (Monsoon, Bobby Heenan)  We see the end of the beginning and the  
middle of the match, right up to where Ric blades himself, but fade away  
before we get blood (awwww...)  Boy, I'm going to camp out at my local video  
store and buy all six!

Blake Beverly v. Tatanka (Monsoon, Heenan)  The last Beverly singles match,  
against Bret Hart, was also a match with Blake.  Tatanka clotheslines Beau on  
the way in, and generally has his way with Blake, too.  Genius does nothing,  
Beau stays in the locker room.  Actually, Blake does get a nice powerslam to  
keep up the suspense, but takes too long to climb the turnbuckle, and, well,  
you know.  Even Heenan is impressed with the Tatanka victory.

"When you play with fire, you get burned...*but* I have a warning for  
everyone in the WWF!  Don't play with Bam Bam! BAM BAM BIGELOW!  The beast  
from the East! BURRRRRRRRRN!"

***The GREAT One, Barry Horowitz*** v. Max Moon (Monsoon, Hayes)  I guess  
this is as close as we'll get to my personal dream of a Horowitz/Kato match.   
Horowitz is described as a "ring veteran,"  yeah, one with NO wins.  Hey  
look, a Clown!  VERY quick win for Moon, no outstanding moves, another  
closeup of the Clown.  The replay of the finisher shows, once again, that  
Horowitz deserves an Oscar for his work selling these dumb moves--Max didn't  
quite jump far enough, so Barry had to really stretch to make it look like  
Max landed on him.

Mean Gene Okerlund with the Survivor Series Report.  Main Event.  Inane  
Ultimate Madness interview.  Nightstick match.  Revised 8 man tag, Natural  
Disasters and Nasty Boys vs. Money, Inc. and Beverly Bros.  Hart/Michaels for  
the WWF title (Okerlund says nothing about Sherri during this one.)  Hart  
with mano y mano speech.

Damien DeMento v. Louie Spiccoli (Monsoon, Hayes)  DeMento, sayeth McGuirk,  
hails "from the outer reaches of your mind."  By virtue of his silly costume,  
I can easily conclude that this is his PrimeTime "debut."  Spiccoli looks not  
too bad, getting some heat machine action, so I guess they want Damien to  
come across as a heel.  I'm going to start calling Spiccoli the Stamina  
Jobber, 'cause all his matches seem to last for about half an hour.  De  
Mentos (subliminal candy ad) drops a knee and pins after a couple hours.   
VERY unimpressive.  Next week, look for him to shave his head completely  
bald, pick up Whippleman as a manager, and wear a big "W".  No, I'm kidding.   
He's too pudgy to be a Warlord.

Hey!  Slam Jam coming Jan. 9th!  Well, I'm not buying it until Vince tells me  
what it is.

Promos:  ICOPRO, GI Joe, Electronic Talking Battleship ("Yeah!")

Feature Match:  Bret Hart v. The Berserker (Monsoon, Hayes)  Hart is the  
"World Wrstling Federation Champion," leading me to believe that Sean Mooney  
does all the proofreading at Titan.  Crowd gets a "HUSS...HUSS..." chant  
going, which was also my favorite thing to do at house shows.  Berzerker gets  
a couple slams thanks to a hair pull.  Hart grabs a wrist to keep it away  
from his hair, pounds on the Berzerker, and then, grabbing HIS hair, throws  
him out of the ring.  Berzerker crawls back in and Hart hits him, Berzerker  
with a nice reverse piledrive but misses dropping the kene.  Hitman with  
reverse atomic drop, clothesline, neckbreaker, but only gets 2 on the cover.   
Hart puts a knee in the back, gives an elbow from the top rope, and then  
slaps on the Sharpshooter.  Nord shakes his head "no" when ref asks if he  
gives up, but for some reason the bell rings before he gets to change his  
mind.  BLEAH.

"Direct" from TSN in Calgary is Bret Hart.  Perfect: "Hello, Mr. Lucky."   
Heenan: "Hey, Cap'n Fluke."  Vince notes that Hart is defending the title  
early and often unlike past champs, including Shango on SNME.  Heenan says  
he's going to burn himself out with all these defenses.  Hart asks Perfect if  
he taught Flair how to get out of the Sharpshooter, namely by submitting.   
Heenan also says he wanted Sacramento instead of Saskatoon.  Damn!  I  
would've gone to the Arco Arena to see THAT match.  Anyway, Hart talks about  
taking on all comers, Shango, Shawn, his father (no wait, that's not  
right...)  I'd like to see him wrestle some faces, but Hart doesn't say  
anything along those lines.

Rerun of SS promo.

Headshrinkers v. Brain Costello (The Dublin Destroyer?) and Joey "WCW" Maggs  
(Monsoon, Hayes)  These guys, you'll recall, are singlehandedly responsible  
for the Tag Champ change by virtue of their walking out and standing around  
at the Money Inc./Disasters match.  Afa seems to have lost that bone he had  
crazy glued to his moustache.  Inset interview:  Afa speaks English (and eats  
styrofoam), the other two grunt.  Compared to the "Samoans" match, this one  
was pretty boring.

"Courtesy Superstars--Last Week"  Murray Hodgson (Just kidding!) interviews  
Ramon and Flair, who both come out to Flair's entrance music.  Is it true  
that Monsoon told us who the interviewer was last Sunday?  McMahon again  
brings up the middle ear thing to Perfect, who denies it, adding "Let's just  
listen to Ric Flair."  Ramon:  "We don't need no stinkin' belts."  PUH-LEEZE.

Panel discusses Flair.  How can he get the belt while working on this tag  
match, and then again, what ABOUT that middle ear problem?  Heenan starts to  
explain but Hillbilly Jim interrupts, so Heenan decides not to let them in on  
it.  What a dumb hick that Hillbilly Jim is.

Money, Incorporated v. High Energy (Monsoon, Hayes)  Monsoon mentions that  
the belts must be defended every 30 days, but why now, so early?  Gorilla  
apparently can't say "Sweeps Month."  Koko has some new pants, a fact lost on  
the commentators.  Hart has his way with DiBiase and then Irwin, tag to Koko  
who has HIS way with Irwin.  Unfortunately for him, he bounces off the rope  
close to Ted who pulls puts a knee in the back, and while IRS gets Owen to  
distract the ref, DiBiase works over Ware.  Ware manages a clothesline, and  
both men tag out.  Hart takes out Ted like a house on fire, but puts his head  
down and DiBiase turns it into a neckbreaker for the *clean* pinl  Jimmy Hart  
does nothing, but then, he doesn't have to do anything.

Bob Backlund takes us on a magical mystery tour.

Virgil v. Jim Peterson (Monsoon, Hayes)  Inset interview with Virgil.  The  
man he admired the most growing up was Bob Backlund.  Apparently it was  
Backlund who inspired him to become the Million Dollar Man's slave.  Hey,  
who's that Clown?

"Courtesy PrimeTime Wrestling--Last Week" We see the middle and end of the  
Tatanka/Kamala match.  Man, I never get tired of seeing Kamala...well, you  
know how I feel.  They sure have a lot of time to kill this week.

THIRD run of the SS ad.

Jim Powers v. Terrific Terry Taylor (Monsoon, Hayes)  Taylor points to locker  
room, but Powers decides to stay and wrestle.  Taylor chats with Powers, the  
ref, anybody, the whole match.  More of that mat wrestling stuff.  This match  
was generally less entertaining than the Taylor/Brunzell match a few weeks  
back, but not much less.  Of course, if you think the audience will get to  
hear "Crank It Up" at the end of this match, you're mistaken.  Taylor tries  
to use the ropes to get a pin, but thank God the ref catches it before it's  
too late.  After about a million 2 counts by both men, Taylor remembers that  
he knows the powerbomb, and uses it.  Fast pin for Taylor after that.

Vince reminds us that Sean Mooney is on honeymoon.  Heenan says no, he's in  
the Event Center.  "You know how people come back from a honeymoon,  
well-tanned, well-rested, smile on their face, all that?  Well, let's go to  
the Event Center, with my good friend Sean Mooney."  Cut to Event Center,  
with Jamison in the chair, eating a banana (ho ho!).  McMahon:  "That's not  
Sean Mooney!"  Heenan:  "Sorry, that's MRS. Mooney."

Promos:  Electronic Hot Shot Basketball, WWF Figures, Super Smash TV  
Cartridges

(Orange) Crush v. Mike Sharpe (Monsoon, Hayes)  Good old Iron Mike, only  
Barry Horowitz can make me root harder for a guy with a snowball's chance in  
hell of winning a match.  Just what IS that design on Crush's rear end?   
"What an impressive hold!"

Heenan with Jamison.  "This is what could happen to you...if you marry Sean  
Mooney."  Smells Jamison's hair and loses his voice.

Next week:  They didn't say.
SNME:  They didn't say, but did divulge Hart/Shango for the WWF Title.

DISCLAIMER:  Please, please, PLEASE, don't followup to this article and tell  
me the clown is named Doink the Clown.  *I KNOW.*  So does practically  
everyone reading this newsgroup.  The reason I don't mention it in my  
articles is because it wasn't mentioned on the show, and I report the show.   
OK?  Thank you in advance.

Christopher Zimmerman      "Shut up!  I'm number 1!" - Barry Horowitz
  / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu / zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu /
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling