HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: sg@monsoon.com (Sunil Gupta)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Bertie Wooster/DQ: One and the same?
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 10:42:21 EDT
Organization: Monsoon Software, Inc.

sham@cs.arizona.edu (Shamim Zvonko Mohamed) writes:

> Strange that we're talking Wodehouse and politics, and no one has brought up
> Spode? I nominate Gramm, or perhaps Robertson. A nice mixture of religion and
> fascism.

Come now; Buchanan is the obvious person to play Spode. If anyone would
like to go about stomping on people with his hobnail boots, it's Patty!

Sunil Gupta
Monsoon Software, Inc.
sg@monsoon.com
From: madhaus@netcom.com (Maddi Hausmann)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: The debate is on?????
Date: 2 Oct 92 18:51:55 GMT
Organization: Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things

Concessions George Bush got from Bill Clinton in agreeing to debate:

1.  Gennifer Flowers is the single moderator
2.  Bush wears his WWII uniform during all appearances
3.  Bush campaign staff have five opportunities during telecast to
      place "He's Lying" disclaimers on TV screen while Clinton speaks
4.  Clinton must wear cheap toupee
5.  Clinton may not mention either of the Vice-Presidential candidates
6.  Clinton's remarks may be cut off if important play occurs during
      World Series game
7.  Of the three debates, one will be on Family Values, and one on
      The Draft.  The third will cover any other topic needed.
8.  Clinton must prove he can put a lit joint in mouth without inhaling
9.  Clinton may not mention any issues that may compromise national
      security (e.g. Iran-Contra, the CIA, BCCI, money paid to Saddam
      Hussein or Manuel Noriega, Desert Storm, Patriot Missiles, etc)
10. Bush may, at his option, have Arnold Schwartzenegger appear in
      his place

Concessions George Bush got from Bill Clinton for the Vice-Presidential
debate:

1.  Dannye gets a five question handicap
2.  Absolutely no spelling questions
3.  Gore may not refer to his book at any time, since this would
      put Quayle at a disadvantage.  If Gore discusses the environment,
      it must be from information from other sources.
4.  At least two questions must concern golf rules
5.  At least two questions must concern the 1992/93 season premiere
      episode of _Murphy Brown_
6.  There will be no questions about what the participants would do
      if they had to take on Presidential responsibilities, as this
      is a Vice-Presidential debate
7.  There will be a panel format.  The panel will contain Pat Buchanan,
      Jerry Falwell and Roger Ailes.  The moderator will be Marilyn
      Quayle.
8.  Any subject that Gore has a unfair advantage over Quayle, due to
      his exclusive private schooling, must be answered by Gore standing
      on his head and drinking a glass of water
9.  The swimsuit competition counts for at least 50% of the debate
10. Dannye, if uncomfortable with any question, may choose to "take
      the dare" instead of telling the truth


-- 
Maddi Hausmann                madhaus@netcom.com
Humorist, Satirist, Tech Writer.  Take your pick.

Centigram Communications Corp, San Jose California  408/428-3553
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:4965 alt.fan.rush-limbaugh:6337
From: peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Dan Doll
Date: 5 Oct 92 23:40:25 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: sandman.caltech.edu

Maybe we can get Mattel to market a Dan Doll that days 
"Spelling is tough!"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: madhaus@netcom.com (Maddi Hausmann)
Subject: Truth is Funnier than Fiction
Organization: Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 01:38:39 GMT

AP report in Saturday's San Jose Mercury News indicates that Our Man
Dan called Rush Limbaugh to ask him to moderate the VP debate.  Rush
said he would be honored.

I hope Gore counterproposes Candace Bergen, as Murphy Brown.
Maybe Admiral Stockdale will vote for Ollie North.

Now I know why Tom Lehrer gave up on satire.  No matter what you
come up with, today's politicians unintentionally outdo all of it.

-- 
Maddi Hausmann                madhaus@netcom.com
Humorist, Satirist, Tech Writer.  Take your pick.

Centigram Communications Corp, San Jose California  408/428-3553
From: aschaffe@holodeck.csd.sgi.com (Allan Schaffer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Wanted: DQ's very confused quote in Europe
Date: 27 Sep 92 01:27:16 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc., Mountain View, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: holodeck.csd.sgi.com

raymond@locus.com (R.R. Butte) said..
>
>Mah Fellow Merkuns,
>
>	I'd like to locate a particular quote DQ made somewhere in Europe
>a year or two ago.  Don't have any specifics, other than it was about a
>short paragraph long, and was so bizarre and confused that folks in Europe
>were checking their dictionaries to make sure they weren't missing something
>in the English.
>
>	Anyone out there remember this quote and have it handy?  I thing it
>was in all the major newspapers and magazines.

There are a *lot* of possibilities here.. ;-)  But let me refer to my
trusty Almanac of Quayle Quotes that gets posted here from time to time..

might it have been,

	We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We
	have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.
			-- Vice President Dan Quayle

or..

	Bobby Knight told me this: 'There is nothing that a good defense
	cannot beat a better offense.'  In other words a good offense wins.
			-- Vice President Dan Quayle comparing the
			   offensive capabilities of the Warsaw Pact
			   with the defensive system of NATO

Hmm.. Enquiring minds want to knoe.

Allan
-- 
Allan Schaffer                        It's Tuesday September 22, 1992 -- 
aschaffe@holodeck.csd.sgi.com         time for the Presidential Debate.
aschaffe@netcom.com                   Do you know where your President is?
For a free copy of Bill Clinton's economic recovery plan, call 1-800-272-9763.
From: VIGNESWA@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: A Tactical Move.....?
Date: 1 Oct 1992 19:26:58 -0500
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

	I listened to Mr Quayle's "interview" with Judy of PBS.  Hmmm...
Judy asked VP about the proposed plans of Mr Bush and Mr Clinton.  She
quoted  the Wall Street Journal and listed the  spendings and revenues. 
Spending was around 520 b, whereas the expected additional revenue was
something like 160 b.  Where are you  going to get the balance, (para- 
phased) she  asked.  He addressed about  Clinton's policy, but did not 
answer the question.  Later, interestingly, he pulled the phrase "with
the new congress", totally out of context. Either he remembered one of
the Bush campaign key words, or may be the handlers showed the "card".

	Well, the point I wanted to make was different. Quayle acts as
a "stupid" I guess.  He says  that he is not  ready for the debate yet.
It may be very much posiible since that would have been the plan.  How-
ever, by keep saying that he is not going to win in the debate, Quayle
puts  a picture in  others' mind that he is  going to gain zero points.
It may be a tactical move  since even a single point he  scores in the
debate would be counted a great success.

Vicky:
UMass, Oct 01
From: peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: MSU survey shows Clinton ahead in Michigan
Keywords: usa federal, government, election, politics, political parties
Date: 29 Sep 92 18:02:59 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: sandman.caltech.edu

clarinews@clarinet.com (RICK PLUTA) writes:


>	EAST LANSING, Mich. (UPI) -- A Michigan State University survey shows
>Democrat Bill Clinton is preferred over President Bush by most state
>voters but the lead could be significantly cut if Texas billionaire Ross
>Perot re-enters the presidential race.

.....

>	IMP Editor Bill Ballenger said the results suggest Quayle continues
>to drag down the GOP ticket.
>	``As bad as Bush is doing, Quayle seems to be bringing him down even
>more,'' he said.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: dks@MIT.EDU (dks)
Subject: I do well to be angry, even unto death.
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 92 13:17:35 EST
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kb4c+@andrew.cmu.edu (Karin Brennan) writes:
> This Quayle bashing is really getting old.  I don't think there's a
> thing wrong with questioning the state of the American family.  We
> should be glad he brought it up. People are concerned, and now the
> country is talking about it.

 1. IF I thought "Quayle bashing is really getting old," I would
    stay out of alt.fan.dan-quayle.

 2. There is no such thing as "the American family."

 3. People were concerned about their families long before your
    beloved Dannikins brought up the subject.  The bastard has
    never done an honest day's work in his life.  Most people
    apparently don't want his advice on any topic, and certainly
    not on how to raise their families.

> And one more thing, for the record:  Bill Clinton isn't sitting up
> late nights writing his own speeches, by himself, either.

WHAT?  Does Hillary know this?  Heck, forget Hillary, does the
Baker-Bush campaign know?


> "Forgive them Lord, they know not what not what they do"

If you're going to quote scripture at us, the least you could do
is quote it correctly, dammit.  A lot of people worked very hard
to get all those verses just right.


Then, kb4c+@andrew.cmu.edu (Karin Brennan) goes on to write:
> jamaass@bluemoon.rn.com (Jeffrey A. Maass) writes:
> > I catch the _700_Club_ once in a while: it's important to keep 
> > an eye on loonies who are intent on enforcing their loonie ideas
> > on society, and who have large followings of unthinking followers.
>
> Why is Christianity this big threat to free America?  Are we
> afraid of having our care free lifestyles cramped?

Why is atheism this big threat to free America?  Are we
afraid of having our smugness cramped?

Or, to quote Thomas Jefferson, "It does me no injury for my neighbor
to say there are twenty gods or no God.  It neither picks my pocket
nor breaks my leg."  You remember Mr. Jefferson, don't you?


> Forgive them Lord.  They know not what they say. 

Enough already.  Stop pestering Me.  You're annoying.


Lord

  Hey!  Who stole my Tetragrammaton?

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: raj@netcom.com (Roger Lee)
Subject: Re: Marilyn's Indiscretions
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 01:59:21 GMT

In <92274.123824JFL4@psuvm.psu.edu> <JFL4@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:

>In article <1992Sep30.140453.9141@gvl.unisys.com>, train@gvls2.gvl.unisys.com
>(Herbert Rutledge) says:
>>
>> I put it to you, a.f.d-q'ers everywhere.  Wuddya think?  Is Marilyn getting
>> some action on the side?  And, if so, with whom?
>>

>BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!  Excuse me while I drop by ALT.BLOW.LUNCH.

yeah, that one IS good for alt.fondle.vomit, eh?
-- 
 /=================================================\
// raj@netcom.com      Missed it by >< That much   \================\
||                                                                  \\
|| How do YOU spell SHAME?  V-O-T-I-N-G- -F-O-R- -Q-U-A-Y-L-E       ||
||                                                                  ||
|| Come one, Come ALL! Come join me in the Church of Appliantology  ||
\\                   L. Ron Hoover                                  //
 \==================================================================/
From: paul@music.sie.arizona.edu (Paul J. Sanchez)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Another Proof of the Utility of AffirmativeActionPlans
Date: 2 Oct 92 20:46:34 GMT
Organization: University of Arizona UNIX Users Group

Herbert Rutledge writes
> In article <1992Oct2.165104.25575@u.washington.edu>,
> sieferme@milton.u.washington.edu (Eric Sieferman) offers the following  
perceptive
> observation on the employment prospects of the current vice-president:
> 
> |> 
> |> Being Vice-Shrub is a form of WorkFare for DQ.  I'm not
> |> sure what job this qualifies him for; but, hey, most
> |> federal job-training programs have not been very successful.
> |> 
> |> 
> |> -- 
> |> | Eric Sieferman            |    sieferme@u.washington.edu          |
> |> 
> 
> 
>   Well, this situation *could* be turned around, and thus provide a  
stunning
>   success story in the use of targeted government programs that are  
designed 
>   to get people out of public housing, off the public dole, and onto  
industry
>   payrolls.  All that is required is finding the right job for Dan.
> 
>   There *is* a job that requires not a heck of a lot of intelligence,  
but does
>   place a premium on a history of extensive contact with people from a  
variety 
>   of walks-of-life.  This job also requires charm and a firm handshake.   
Good 
>   looks are also a plus.  Yes, there *is* one job for which Dan Quayle  
is 
>   eminently qualified:
> 
>   Toner salesman for Xerox.  
> 
> --
>  

Sorry to break the news to you, but I have it on good authority (from  
someone who has actually met our man in person) that DQ's handshake is of  
the dead-fish variety.
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:4725 talk.politics.misc:48639
From: glass@devl.fnal.gov (Michael Glass)
Subject: Re: Quayle is more charitable than Gore
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-a4  
Reply-To: glass@devl.fnal.gov
Organization: Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory
Distribution:  world
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 05:11:38 GMT

In article <5264@sumax.seattleu.edu>, Sheryl Stover writes:

>Bush/Quayle, the ticket of intolerance?  The ticket that would have you
>believe any child of a non-traditional, non-nuclear family could be the
>next rioter in LA?  This is the ticket that you think embodies charity?
> ...
>                                             ...[C]harity implies a
>concern for a human being *as a human being*--something Al Gore has
>demonstrated, and something Dan Quayle has all but denied.  

Ms. Stover has nailed the issue exactly.  Like many a.f.d-q folks, I would
PREFER to believe that the Quayles are parsimonious scrooges, while the
Gores are glorious benefactors to mankind.  But it is far more important 
that government be kind and humane, and that our leaders guide us in this
direction at every opportunity.

To hell with family values.  Let's get some civic values.

-- Michael Glass
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 20:00:57 EDT
From: Kurt Ludwick <KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Royko article: Next Time, Dan, Take Aim At Arnold
Distribution: usa
 <92270.003322KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu> <15666@borg.cs.unc.edu>

In article <15666@borg.cs.unc.edu>, saxe@excalibur.cs.unc.edu (Eddie Saxe) says:

>Yet again, you duck the question.  The Quaylster said, as has been posted
>here many times, that Murphy Brown's decision to raise the child herself is
>not a valid "lifestyle alternative."  Therefore, he must have some opinion
>as to what a valid decision was, unless he is just another vaucuous
>neoconservative (definitely *not* what a *true* conservative feels)
>demagogue.  So, which, do you think, is Dan's "right" model for action?

My point is that Murphy Brown, the fictional character, could have been
written differently, so it's stupid to feel sorry for Murphy Brown, the
fictional character.

Anyway, Quayle's point is that the TV show may implicitly -promote-, or
-glamourize- single motherhood by making Murphy Brown a single mother, and
acting like it's no big deal, that fathers aren't important.

Of course, a -real live- woman in her situation who has the courage to have
the child and either raise it or give it up for adpotion has Quayle's respect;
he's said as much since the media started going nuts over the Murphy Brown
sentence in his speech.

The trick is to distinguish between real people and fictional characters.

------------
Kurt Ludwick
------------
From: oreagan@oasys.dt.navy.mil (William Oreagan)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Frost and other interviews
Date: 1 Oct 92 14:02:35 GMT
Reply-To: oreagan@oasys.dt.navy.mil (William Oreagan)
Organization: Carderock Division, NSWC, Bethesda, MD

In alt.fan.dan-quayle, pat@sphinx.phys.Virginia.EDU (pat walsh) writes:
!John Viveiros writes:
!   .
!   .
!   .
!  (various examples of Dan responding to interviewer's questions with
!   repeated canned answers that may or may not relate in any way to the
!   question)
This really bothers me. Last night I saw the McNeil-Leher(sp?) interview
and the canned answers were annoying.
Interviewer: Question about the Gore-Quayle debate
Qualye: Well the media will say because of his attending the most expensive
schools in Washington, he'll have the advantage...

Int: What do you think?
Qualye: Well the media will say...(repeat of above)

Int: I'm asking what you think.
Qualye: I would never argue with the media.
And this is supposed to pass as being interviewed? Coming to an interview
with canned answers that you can't even mold to fit the question? It

really is politics at its worst, and most insulting.

Bill O
From: dylan@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu (Dylan)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Extra! Dan is a Genius!
Date: 1 Oct 92 14:52:44 GMT
Organization: OGRE Institute

In article <1992Sep29.183808.18034@anasazi.com>, best@anasazi.com (Mike Best) 
writes:

[...deleted questions about Dr. Fenno's book...]
> 
> Yes I am being honest.  Yes the book is available, if memory serves it is
> called "The Making of A Senator".  Richard Fenno is a PoliSci prof at
> the University of Rochester (his title may be "Distinguished Prof of ..."
> but I'm not sure).  Anyway, he has a reputation among his peers for his
> impartiality - seriously.  The book is about Quayle's freshman term as
> a senator and it describes not only his accomplishments but his effectiveness
> in the Senate specifically regarding a significant job training bill as well
> as the Patriot missile.  It further mentions that his fellow senators respect
         ^^^^^^^
Is this the same patriot missile which has a revised accuracy rating of
9%?  I sure wouldn't put that on my list of accomplishments.

> his abilities as a senator.  Well, to say anymore would be to ruin the book..

I'm feeling mean and I'm gonna spoil the book.  He becomes Vice-President.
But I won't mention the part about him and Elvis and the Burgerking Connection.

> Mike Best

I've heard that J. Danforth's nickname in the senate was 'Wethead' because
he was always just emerging from the gym.  Can anyone confirm or deny this?

Dylan/John D. Murray
dylan@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu
From: patricka@gandalf.rutgers.edu (Patrick Anderson)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: QUAYLE '96
Keywords: Quayle,1996,Chicago,Greek,Coffee,Healthcare
Date: 1 Oct 92 21:46:15 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.


I've got the Chicago Greek Coffee Shoppee(!) Healthcare Blues.
Kudos to Judy Woodruff for keeping a straight face.
 
Love,
Xenu
 
"I'm all for bringing back the birch;
 but only between consenting adults." - Gore Vidal
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: sandy@fc.hp.com (Sandy Arvidson)
Subject: Re: debates
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 15:44:35 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Fort Collins Site
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.3 PL6]

>That's already been decided.  I'll be interested to see if Our Boy actually
>breaks from his well-rehearsed, scripted lines and comes up with an original
>thought.

Let's hope so!  The Dannikins is so entertaining when he speaks off the cuff.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: liuyh@vis.toronto.edu (Yuanhui Liu)
Subject: Re: Marylin says something REEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLL stupid
Keywords: broadcast
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Toronto
Distribution: na
Date: 28 Sep 92 16:02:06 GMT

In article <kt0njma.howard@netcom.com> howard@netcom.com (Howard Berkey) writes:
>In article <1992Sep25.141622.16495@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>>In article <339njtk.jrs@netcom.com> jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer) spews:
>>
>>>>>	Marilyn Quayle said today ``everything possible should be done to
>>>>>prevent a pregnancy'' in the event of a rape. That's a philosophy that
>>>>>runs counter to the strict wording of the Republican platform.
>>>>>Interviewers (on the CBS ``This Morning'' program) read Quayle the
>>>>>wording of the GOP platform as it was approved in Houston last month...
>>>>>``Right to life cannot be infringed even in cases of rape or incest.''
>>>>>Asked if she believes abortion should be made ILlegal in all cases,
>>>>>Quayle said ``No.'' And, in the case of rape, she said everything should
>>>>>be done to prevent a pregnancy from occurring.
>>>>
>>>>so what? rape victims should insist the rapist wear a condom?
>>>>rape victims should run and put in their diapragm right after being raped?
>>>
>>>Uh, maybe you should take a health class or something? There are several
>>>after-intercourse prophylactics available - spermicides, for example, or 
>>>morning-after pills and RU486.
>>
>>Maybe you should read the paper, asshole.
>>RU486 is illegal.
>>
>
>
>Plus the fact that immediately using spermicide after a rape will destroy 
>evidence helpful (if not necessary) to catch the rapist.
>
hmmmm, maybe that's what MQ and JDQ wanted?  ;->
I am always curious about WHO are the quayle supporters, hmmmm... ;-)   
>-Howard
>
>
>
>-- 
>::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
>Howard Berkey						howard@netcom.com
>"...Peace Through Strength." - G. Bush, 1992 (also A. Hitler, 1939)


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle