HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: cei@po.CWRU.Edu (Charles E. Ivy)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: A Discordian Wedding
Date: 9 Oct 1992 16:09:13 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: cei@po.CWRU.Edu (Charles E. Ivy)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, dmoskowi@jarthur.claremont.edu (Denis "Tesser" Moskowitz) says:

>Does anyone have any ideas about what should be in a Discordian Wedding?
>Please don't limit yourself to the possible or plausible.
>I'm going to be in a wedding on a MOO (basically, a textual virtual reality)
>and would like the ceremony to be Discordian.
>
>ERISHMC Elder Max Flax Beeblewax, KSC
>Tesser on LambdaMOO

Dear Max,
Yes I have been in a Discordian Wedding. Quite interesting, actually. I can
get my script of the service and post it if you like. It involved, among
other things, the bride and groom stamping each other on the forehead with a
"Received" stamp, and everyone in the party throwing bagels at each other...

-- 
Jendrahl Hassan Erikson, K.S.C.
Conscious Erisian Avatar (4a), P.O.E.E. Chaplin, P.H.U.I. Cabal, Houston, TX
Techno-poly diety, Symphonic Blunder-chile, and card-throwing pope.
							- cei@po.cwru.edu
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Subject: ???????
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 03:45:34 GMT

For someone who has disavowed, disbelieved, does not need, and does not even
want depend on the concept of luck I sure seem to have a LOT of it.

							Sincerely,
							Lieutenant Wilkes
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: The most erisian game....
From: mcirvin@husc8.harvard.edu (Mcirvin)
Date: 9 Oct 92 14:00:05 GMT

<IO10184@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> writes:

>   Last night I realised that for me the most eristic
>game in the world is pool. I can see the beautiful
>hand of Eric carressing each shot I take ad sending
>it careening in the most chaotic of directions.
>   Then she'll go and make a totally imposiible shot
>work.
>   *Sigh* the goddess of green felt.

It's only *really* eristic if you play it in the Dudley House
Game Room here, where the green felt has lumps and the balls are
caved in on one side, and the cues mostly have no tips, and some
of the balls are missing so you have to play with balls borrowed from
the next table, so you end up with duplicated numbers or unequal
numbers of stripes and solids, if you're not careful, and why be
careful?

-- 
Matt McIrvin, posting nonsense again 
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: w2lee@argo.acs.oakland.edu (Walter Lee)
Subject: Re: Luck and netmsgs
Reply-To: w2lee@argo.acs.oakland.edu
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester, MI
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 00:06:21 GMT

I get...

Ready to post to: alt.discordia
Ok to proceed? [Yes]:

note that this is VMS.
they have online help written in English. (really)


Walter Lee    wlee@argo.acs.oakland.edu, lee@plex-1.ann-arbor.mi.us

Keep the Aspidistra Flying!
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: auer@cs.swarthmore.edu (David S. Auer)
Subject: Discordian Order for Sale
Keywords: Steal, Bargain, Real Cheap
Organization: Swarthmore College, PA
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 09:25:53 GMT

I have recently come across a Discordian Order, that I did not really want in
the first place, namely the Ersatz Order of St. Newbie.  I am willing to sell
it real cheap to whomever wants it.  Flaxscript and hempscript are acceptible
just so long as I get rid of it and fast.

The goods go to the highest bidder, do I hear any offers?

-------------------------------------------------------------------
|     ________________     | David Samuel Auer                    |
| ___/ __ \  __/  __  \___ | Not associated with Dem. Soc. of Am. |
|/__/ /_/ /__  \ |__| /__/ | My views and opinions do not reflect |
|  /_____/_____/__/\__\    | or represent those of my school.     |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
|  King, emperor and potentate of the Ersatz Order of St. Newbie  |
-------------------------------------------------------------------
From: law10@po.CWRU.Edu (Lorrie A. Wood)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: Church of Spam Newsletter
Date: 14 Oct 1992 04:05:06 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc12.ins.cwru.edu


	The Church of SPAM (tm) is a little off in their theory of where lines
end, no?
	They should keep on their toes, or I shall have to start flooding the
irrelebant newsgroups of MY chice with the newsletter of the First United 
Church of Cheez Whiz (Reformed).

-- 
"All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in
some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense,
false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in
some sense." -- _Principia_Discordia_ -- the Book of the Church of Eris (Chaos)
From: dauer1@cc.swarthmore.edu (David Samuel Auer)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: A Discordian Wedding
Date: 12 Oct 92 22:48:34 GMT
Reply-To: dauer1@cc.swarthmore.edu (David Samuel Auer)
Organization: Swarthmore College

minx@access.digex.com (minx) writes:
m> In article <YZNRB8TH@cc.swarthmore.edu> dauer1@cc.swarthmore.edu
m>     (David Samuel Auer) writes:
DSA>I again stress that I am not a Discordian, but am merely speaking from what I
DSA>infer to be a Discordian perspective.
m> You don't need to stress it.  It's quite obvious.  You are in serious need
m> of a good mindfuck.
m> 
m> Helpfully,
m> Minx

This reminds me of a story I was told three months ago by a young woman
named Sandra, which I think should serve as a useful parable.  It went like
this:

----

In the Czech town of Indrash (or something beginning with an I, the actual
name eludes me) there were two men, a potter and a druggist.  The potter
would work all day long at his store making pots, but the druggist sat
around much of the time, and had entirely too much free time on his hands.
One day the druggist went over to the potter's shop and said, "Do you know
of the ways of the weed and the Golden Chao of Eris?"  The potter's face was
stony and hard, like Greyface of yore, he trembled a bit and shook his
head.  The druggist was persistant however and said wondrous are the ways of
Discord; partake and prosper under Eris' pale and luscious wing."  The
potter did not budge, concentrating sternly upon the clay he moulded with
his hands.  The next day the druggist returned with a Sacred Chao and
several medications.  He focused upon the potter and said, "All hail Eris!
All hail Discordia!"  Still, the potter turned away, silent.  The druggist
asked, "Old man, why do you reject Discord?  Do you fear the chaos in your
soul?"  The potter replied, "Young man," (although the potter was not a day
the druggist's senior) "I am no fool, I know Eris well, the whole world is
her workings.  I do not need to seek her out.  She finds me.  Take your
drugs and worshipful tools hence, for they offend me.  Look at the world with
a clean body and fit mind.  You will see Eris' works everywhere you look."

So, the druggist returned to his drug store and communed with his goddess,
and the potter stayed in his pottery store and commune with his.  They both
worshipped the same goddess, only the druggist did not realize it.

All hail Eris!  All hail Discordia!

----

Thus was I told.  Thus I repeat.  It just seemed fitting, that is all.

big hug,
-David
_________________________________________________________________
     ________________     | David Samuel Auer
 ___/ __ \  __/  __  \___ | Not associated with Dem. Soc. of Am.
/__/ /_/ /__  \ |__| /__/ | My views and opinions do not reflect
  /_____/_____/__/\__\    | or represent those of my school.
__________________________|______________________________________
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: minx@access.digex.com (minx)
Subject: Re: A Discordian Wedding
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 13:17:50 GMT

In article <YZNRB8TH@cc.swarthmore.edu> dauer1@cc.swarthmore.edu (David Samuel Auer) writes:
>I again stress that I am not a Discordian, but am merely speaking from what I
>infer to be a Discordian perspective.

You don't need to stress it.  It's quite obvious.  You are in serious need
of a good mindfuck.

Helpfully,
Minx
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: fitz@wang.com (Tom Fitzgerald)
Subject: Re: Fun stuff to do..........
Organization: Wang Labs, Lowell MA, USA
Date: Thu, 08 Oct 92 05:46:04 GMT

holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu writes:

> Some things that people have done on campus here is refer to them as the
> Kampus Krusade for Krist (KKK).  They have even been called Campus Crusade
> for Cthulhu.  

Students interested in pissing off chapters of "Jews for Jesus" (a group
which tends to be easily confused and offended) should consider setting
up chapters of "Christians Against Christ".

"Yah, we're Christians, of course, but we don't think that guy Jesus was
anybody special, just a teacher....  those stories are all blown way out of
proportion...."

-- 
Tom Fitzgerald   Wang Labs       fitz@wang.com   "I went to the universe today;
1-508-967-5278   Lowell MA, USA                   It was closed...."
From: wxs@po.CWRU.Edu (W.charles Simciak)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: Principia Discordia
Date: 8 Oct 1992 20:41:08 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: wxs@po.CWRU.Edu (W.charles Simciak)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc5.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, cei@po.CWRU.Edu (Charles E. Ivy) says:

>Hey, I scanned those files for you 2 years ago. And the virus I put in them
>hasn't sunk Cleveland yet??? By the way, you mean the Hodge Podge Transformer.

EEEEEeeeeekkkk!!!! No it...can't be....must..get..personal affairs in..order...
...Cannot give in...must eat....hotdog........                   wait a minute.

Absolutely not.  That is utterly pernicious nonsense, these pictures where
divinely given to me by Goddess around 5:23am on 03/23/89 when I was up late
trying to complete my SIC compiler, which was belching bugs everywhere.
When all seemed hopeless she came to me, gave me the pictures, and told me to
switch to the GNU C Compiler.  Suddenly all became clear to me, these pictures
where to be compiled into my program, and the Discordians where to be converted
to the ethics of the GNU C Compiler.  I got an "A" on my SIC compiler, and
many Discordians began staring at me strangely, obviously something had clicked
and they were being forced to think about my prophecy.

About a year ago, I realised that I had this completely reveresed.  And in fact
I was suppose to turn in the GNU C Compiler to my teacher, and distribute the
pictures for Discordians and Discordians-to-Be everywhere.  I've now finally
corrected  the error and am happy to see the wishes of Goddess fulfilled.

>-- 
>Jendrahl Hassan Erikson, K.S.C.
>Conscious Erisian Avatar (4a), P.O.E.E. Chaplin, P.H.U.I. Cabal, Houston, TX
>Techno-poly diety, Symphonic Blunder-chile, and card-throwing pope.
							       ^^^^ the pope?

The pope??? "QUICK TENACIOUSLY GRAB MY BUTTOCKS!!"

>							- cei@po.cwru.edu
				also misinformation -->	  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Chuck.

-- 
   Chuck Simciak    ! "Punctuation is a loin cloth, covering
  wxs@po.CWRU.edu   !    the private parts of literature."
   WRUW 91.1 FM     !                            -Picasso
From: ward0038@student.tc.umn.edu
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: chaos illuminati slack and the grand clueless
Date: 9 Oct 92 19:50:40 GMT
Distribution: alt.slack  alt.illuminati
Organization: University of Minnesota


hello.
folks around the mpls. campus have been stickybacking semi-serious,
neo-anarchist, political tripe around dinkytown.  please stop this
behavior immediatelly.  it is interferering with the true grand plan of
illumination and annhilation. this is a test ?  how did you react ?  what
are you looking at ?  
Someone has also been reading way too much William Burroughs for their own
good.

watch for aphasia
watch for passing cars
watch for falling skies
watch for assholes bearing pipes
watch for pink boys in combat boots
watch for skinheads in $80.00 Doc Martens
watch t.v.

later.
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: sa114984@longs.lance.colostate.edu (Steven Arnold)
Subject: Re: Just to see something!
Date: Wed, 07 Oct 1992 17:07:01 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <BvoyFD.CqF@DMI.USherb.CA>, tourf00@DMI.USherb.CA (Francis Tourillon <Tourfman>) writes:
|> 
|> 	This is not only to see if David Gaudine will read this, the second
|> reason is that I'm french and I don't even know what discordia means!!!
|> Is it discorde like in french? 

	Cool!  A French guy!  Now we got real class on this board, eh?
	French-dude, you can read about the Legion of Dynamic Discord (i.e., the
Discordians) in the Illuminatus trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson, available in most
bookstores for a nominal fee.

Steve
From: quark@asylum.UUCP (I think I know you.)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: A Discordian Wedding
Date: 8 Oct 92 14:55:15 GMT


I've presided over two (2[ii]) Discordian weddings.  Both times they wanted
a priest & I asked if a pope was ok.  Both times they figured that a pope
would be a good thing.  One of the times they even figured that it'd bring
more hrmony to the whole affair.  *WRONG*  I'm happy to say that I've never
been in a situation af deeper anarchy than the first one.  (I had to use a
pool-cue as a restraining aid.  The groom decided that he wanted to devorce
his better half & kind of went berzerk.  There wasn't any physical violence
& I dissloved the marrage as fast as I'd done the ceremony.  When the dust
settled, we were all friends again, but invoking Eris as a binding force
was really, uh - interesting that time.)  The second worked in such a way
that the two parties realized by the end of the ceremony that there were
other people in the crowd that they'd rather be with.  I count both
occasions to be unqualified successes.

For true dischord,  try to find all of the "this shouldn't be happening at
a wedding" buttons in the group.  I kept giggleing at the most profound
times at one wedding for example.  Remind them that marrage is a sacrement,
and so should be brought down a few pegs.  Have fun, cause as much
confusion as possible.  I knew that things were going well, when the maid
of honor said that I had my dick firmly lodged in his ear and was fucking
his mind. ((But, how could I be, I was behind a dumpster made into a
podium...))   

  Have fun
     --Quark

Dmoskowi@Jarthur.claremont.edu (Denis "Tesser" Moskowitz) writes:
>Does anyone have any ideas about what should be in a Discordian Wedding?
>Please don't limit yourself to the possible or plausible.
>I'm going to be in a wedding on a MOO (basically, a textual virtual reality)
>and would like the ceremony to be Discordian.

>ERISHMC Elder Max Flax Beeblewax, KSC
>Tesser on LambdaMOO
>aneristically known as:
>-- 
>Denis/Tesser M Moskowitz        Jen feroca malbona kuniklo; rigardu liajn
>dmoskowi@jarthur.claremont.edu  sovagxajn vangharojn, kaj liajn ungojn kaj
>This Is Realtime!               lian faldan voston.
-- 

===========================================================vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
-Dave Hull (quark@asylum.sf.ca.us -in reality near Boston) | I just fell down
        home #(617)623-5319  work #(617)942-0915           | these damn stairs
From: rhamilt@husc10.harvard.edu (Rowan Hamilton)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: By the way...
Keywords: praline gonad Power-Tools
Date: 12 Oct 92 20:49:19 GMT

mcirvin@husc8.harvard.edu (Mcirvin) writes:

>jamie@sally.acns.nwu.edu (James R. Groves) writes:

>>                   "We're NOT the Masons, WE'RE the MOOSE"
>                    _ 
>A contribution to D-D mixing from some technicolor extensions to
>the standard model of particle interactions comes from "moose diagrams."
>They yield four-quark interactions at energies below the chiral breaking
>scale.
>I think they look like a moose, or something.  Hail Eris!
>-- 
>Matt McIrvin, posting nonsense again 

Excuse me, Matt, but the four-quark operators of which you speak are
independent of "moose diagrams". The "mooses" are merely a notational
conveniece, which aid in the construction and analysis of the theory.
Remember, accuracy is the mother of cleanliness. Or something liek that.
-- 
Rowan T. Hamilton                         "I don't ask about the  
hamilton@huhepl.harvard.edu               underlying theory, I just
hamilton@fnald.fnal.gov                   take the operators and run."
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: Luck and netmsgs
From: garcia@husc10.harvard.edu (Javier Garcia-Torres)
Date: 13 Oct 92 17:02:33 EDT
Organization: Harvard University Science Center

	I get the "Are you absolutely sure?" prompt here.

Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: mirage@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dean Joseph Sanvitale)
Subject: 31415926
Keywords: fruit cup
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Sat, 17 Oct 92 03:14:53 GMT


				Go


			to

						Baron


Spurious
			Noise

					or

a?
	DangeroUS	

			?	Toys?


Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: geffy@access.digex.com (Geff King)
Subject: Re: Are there any real Discordians on this newsgroup?
Keywords: boring, bullshit, wannaplease
Organization: Express Access Online Communications Service, Greenbelt, Maryland USA
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 16:11:28 GMT

mcirvin@husc8.harvard.edu (Mcirvin) writes:

>I let him in!  I was moved by his entreaties.  He is now king,
>emperor and potentate of the Ersatz Order of St. Newbie.  Of course,
>if you want to be one too, what can I do?!

Say "please...."
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: jamie@sally.acns.nwu.edu (James R. Groves)
Subject: Re: By the way...
Summary: A long silly Story!
Keywords: praline gonad Power-Tools
Organization: Black Bag Midwest
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 15:36:10 GMT

In article <1992Oct8.161649.15907@nmsu.edu> jgoodric@dante.nmsu.edu (GOODRICH) writes:
>	0i!  W0uld it happen that any0ne 0ut there 
>is kn0wledgable 0f the m00se Illuminati?
>	My sister was bitten by a m00se 0nce...
>
>	The Laughing Priest!
>
>"Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy!"  -Lord John Whorfin


Ok, this has almost nothing and/or EVERYTHING to do with the above article and
the punchline is brainDEAD cause you have to hear it for it to be funny at ALL
but I am gonna post it BECAUSE of these handicaps:

Me and a few friends were sitting around one day pestering Masons. The seem
to actually kind of like it in a perverted way when you call up and say the
words Tubal-Cain and then !!SCREAM!! "OH LORD!! WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE WIDOWS
SON!?!?" at them. Anyway, we were calling them and alternating <each lodge gets
a new approach, and you of corpse tape record it all> rants, when we decided
to try an 'interview' fromat in which you hrow in all their secret words and
shit. <We even WENT to 'the shrine' and when I met the HEAD guy there, I shook
his hand in a Master Mason grip, then looked REAL confused. Anyway, so we're
calling them up and asking what BOAZ means and shit, and then my friend looks
over at me and says "let's call the Moose!" so he does and asks them all this
shit like 5 minutes worth about Masonry and Secret Grips and all this stuff,
and on and on, and finally after all that the lady on the phone just says in
a real nasally slow talking voice <imagine it and you MAY laugh>:
                   "We're NOT the Masons, WE'RE the MOOSE"

                                Rev. Loopi
sksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksksk
                                Eaerly-23
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Subject: Re: OH fnord SHIT!
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 03:04:34 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.093501.1@cubldr.colorado.edu>, holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu writes:
> Damn! fnord  Someone has fnord apparently fnord installed a heavy duty fnord
> fnord fnord inserter fnord on the VAX fnord.  I'll have to fnord disable it.
> fnord
> 			fnord			Sincerely,
> 						Lieutenant fnord Wilkes

Geez!  Disable a crummy fnord inserter and look what they do to you.  I haven't
received any new postings for any of the newsgroups I read, and the menu for my
news reader shows that I've been reading in newsgroups that I don't even have 
the interest to look into.
					Sincerely,
					Lieutenant Wilkes
From: ch571@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Cat Fitzgerald)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: The Book of the Apocalypso
Date: 9 Oct 1992 21:20:55 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


I.  The Accreted Comtiuum College slowly ozzed its way accross the land, yea acoss the region of thud. and it did fill the people with dispair and woe.
But out from the people, yea, out from the center of the dust bunny arose
a savior of the people.

II.  The savior Dubbed Himself the Master of Crayons, and the Ruler of the 
Baseborg.  Whereupon he began to speak unto the mob about the end of the bagal,
and the one thing which could prevent this immantization.  Verily, he spoke
most passionately about the Holy Bong.  Spake he, te guardian of dead houseplants and rotary-dial phones about a visitation he had from the holy saint attila.

II. and saint attila lectured the savior most harshly. he spoke of the age of
retrogressive and anal restriction that had taken control of the people.
Said he, "This is not well in the eyes of the goddess, and so she has chosen you
to bring an age of true chaos unto the land by washing it clean with LEER,
the best detergent around! (oops, rong commercial)  By bringing forth the Holy
Bong of St. Gulik, and by introducing the one true mystical communion with
Millwaukee's Beast.  And after this long message, the blessed st. attila 
returend to the molecule frtom whence he came, giggling all the whlie at the m[C[C[C

IV And there was great rejoicing

___________________________________________________________
Quark Kent and her Exploding Helicopter Nones
___________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: jamie@sally.acns.nwu.edu (James R. Groves)
Subject: Re: Are there any real Discordians on this newsgroup?
Summary: Some fish are insane.
Keywords: boring, bullshit, wannabes
Organistaion: Aluminum Bavariatti
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois, USA
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 14:57:42 GMT

In article <mcirvin.718393300@husc8> mcirvin@husc8.harvard.edu (Mcirvin) writes:
>mather@sees.bangor.ac.uk (Paul Mather) writes:
>
>>Or is it just chock-full of people who have read _Illuminatus!_, or
>>maybe even the _Principia Discordia_, and are just out to look hip
>>or to show everyone that they know all the "secret" words?
>
>>Yawn.
>
>Is there a difference?
>
>I want to form an organization with no real members, only wannabes.
>The Ersatz Order of St. Newbie, or something like that.  Every few
>days we would find a different newsgroup and post messages about
>how much cooler we are than the regular readership.
>
>It is done!  Yearn to join the Ersatz Order of St. Newbie!  But
>don't join, because you can't!
> 
>-- 
>Matt McIrvin, posting nonsense again 

Hey PAL! Yer gawna have sum pritty stiff competition from a group out here in
the Hinterlands!!!! The Placebo Posers of Pompeo Posar! Watch out!
                                          St. Doofus the Insane
sk eaerly