From: craig@kralizec.zeta.org.au (Craig Dewick)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: 30 Sep 92 00:18:22 GMT
Organization: Kralizec Dialup Unix Sydney: +61-2-837-1183 V.32

dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:

>Aack!  I never wanted to be net.counselor and I wouldn't be a good choice for
>it even if I wanted to be.  Good lord, I've had such little real dating 
>experience that it's really silly to think of people asking me for advice.

Well, you seem to be one of the few able to talk sensibly here, so I guessed
you'd have a rough idea. Even though your ideas come from a woman's point of
view, they're worth considering.

>1)  Get a sex change operation and date lesbians.

Hmmm. lesbianism is a topic unto itself! I won't digress here.

>She thought dating services or personal ads were a good start for people who
>had a horrible time learning how to start things.  If you see an ad from

I don't know if I explained why I'm caught up in all this, but to make things
a little easier to understand, here's a few things:

 - I've always been a loner. I was staunch against the 'groupies' at school as
   I was always hobby-minded (electronics, model railways, etc.) while they
   were into cars, sport, alcohol and women.

 - I work shiftwork as a train driver. Not normal shiftwork either, because we
   can start work any time of the day any day of the week (within reason!).

 - I just can't see the point in the 'accepted' ways of socialising such as
   going to a pub and/or nightclub on the weekend, probably because of my fear
   of the unknown (regarding relationships) and my stand against drinking.
 
 - my hobbies have really become full-time passions into which I absorb myself
   to escape from reality (not quite, but I'm sure you understand). 

 - I'm rarely in an energetic enough state to think about going out, as when
   I am working I'm away from home for up to 16 hours a day (sometimes I'm away
   for a few days), and I'm quite exhausted simply from the travelling, etc.
 
These points seem to stack up against my desire to seek out meaningful 
relationships with women, so the furthest I get is to just think about how good
a deep and understanding relationship with a beautiful, attractive young woman
would be.

Of course I could change my lifestyle, but I'd probably break up because I love
my job (I'm a bit of a train enthusiast as well). I used to be a uni student
(a few years ago) and I think I missed my calling card since I probably could
have advanced my social abilities by great leaps and bounds, but as usual the
same taboos that 'haunted' me at school pressured me out of anything
productive.

>  So you go out 1-3 times and the next times
>not so tough.  Eventually, you feel more comfortable with the situation and
>you might meet someone in a more natural environment.  In a personal ad,
>you know the girl put one in or responded to yours because she'd like a
>date -- that takes a bit of pressure off right there.  

It sounds so simple! I'm sure it is. I'm not sure that I could find someone who
could fit into my lifestyle, as it's not what you'd call normal. Maybe I should
go back to uni and try again??

Are there personal ads reliable? By that I mean are they truthful most of the
time? It would be a bit of a bummer to fall flat on the preverbial face because
I investigated a so-called personal ad that was misleading.
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Newsgroups: soc.singles