HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Cereal Killer)
Subject: Re: Solipsism and Don. Or "How Don made himself Thick."
Organization: John Deere Product Development and Pathology Lab
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 06:07:00 GMT

dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton) writes:

>Don't do it man!

	Too late.  I kept them short, though, out of sympathy for those
who don't have ethernet in their homes.

>Have you no heart!

	Had one just a few hours ago, as a matter of fact.

>Chin up. Take a breather. Think of pigs smeared with margerine,
>or whatever it is that you hicks get turned on by.

	This brings to mind a hick tradition, the County Fair.  You
know, contests, exhibitions, carnivals, and the like.  Little old
ladies entering their apple pies and embroidery into the contests,
and spending the next ten years bragging about that blue ribbon (or
bitching about how Thelma Lou must have blown the judge beforehand).
Kids walking lambs, bunnies, or calves around a ring while some guy
with a beer gut and his truck's license plate on his belt watches.
In the evenings, there's the tractor pulls, the horse team pulls,
the demolition derby, and the rodeo.

	All in all, fun to watch but a waste of time to prepare for.
One traditional game is the "Catch the Greased Pig" contest.  You
take a pig, roughly 50lbs or so of four-hoof drive traction, and
coat him with grease.  I don't know if it's Crisco or ninety-weight,
but it's grease. Then you turn him loose in a yard and have fifty
kids try to catch him.

	I always wondered if the kid who won had practiced beforehand,
and gave him a wide berth thereafter.

--
< Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu viking@iastate.edu >
<  ISU only censors what I read, not what I say.  Don't blame them.  >
<     USENET: Post to exotic, distant machines.  Meet exciting,      >
<                 unusual people.  And flame them.                   >
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: geoffm@netcom.com (Turn Your Head and Cough)
Subject: Re: Another "I'm getting old" peeve
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 06:55:54 GMT



In article <C1FwC3.BBs@wang.com> dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong) writes:

>I'll be 38 next month.  Which is as good as 39, which is really
>just like 40.

>Crap.


When you kick the bucket, can I have your stereo?



Geoff

-- 
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +                Mountain View 
geoffm@netcom.com               + + + + + + + +                California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Date: 25 Jan 93 13:40:55 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce) writes:

>What gets me is that I can't buy land mines or hand grenades.

Or personal nukes. If everyone had these then a lot of the violence in
the world would be deterred.

;-)

Mike "wossamatter, doncha BELIEVE in deterrence??" Holmes
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: geoffm@netcom.com (Not Of This Earth)
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Koninklijke Luchtvarrt Machaapij, Amsterdam
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 04:58:16 GMT



In article <1993Jan22.182917.314@wetware.com> diana@wetware.com (CatWoman ) 
writes:

>Uhh - Brian?

>You been hanging out with drieux lately?
>(of course he wants mortars and claymores
>and a whole bunch of other stuff I can't
>either remember or pronounce...)


Peeve:  ProblemOlderWomen who aren't conversant with EnginesOfDestruction.

!Peeve:  Fellow former military types who'd no doubt understand why I want 
         a MiG-21 of my very own, even if they *are* FuckingSquids(tm).



Geoff "Semper Paratus" Miller

-- 
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +                Mountain View 
geoffm@netcom.com               + + + + + + + +                California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: zursch@whizkid.wpd.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Chelsea
Date: 26 Jan 93 22:36:06 GMT
Reply-To: zursch@whizkid.wpd.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide)
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

In article <18480@autodesk.COM>, Elaine Richards writes:
>Peeve, people who think Chelsea is homely. Buncha durned younguns.
>Compared to Amy Carter, the girl is a beauty queen.

I liked Amy Carter.....

And Chelsea's cool, too.....an awful lot of America's Tender Young Things
are going to identify with that girl (who has the all-time best case to make
for "my parents are *sooooo* embarrassing!") with the braces and the 
zits. 

Now, on the other hand, I want GIFs of Al Gore's oldest daughter....

I just hope they leave the poor child alone. I mean, they were harping
on the amount they give her for lunch money today, fercryingoutloud!
I hate to think about what happens when she gets her period....

++++++++

Sam Donaldson: So, Mr. President, the american people want to know if
                         Hillary gave her pads or slim-line tampons? 

President Clinton: We believe that that is a private decision best kept 
                            within the family. 

SD: But the people have a right to know.....there is a major question 
       of values at stake here! Do you worry that by allowing your daughter
      to use tampons, you're sending the *wrong message* to America's 
      young girls, telling them that it's perfectly all right to stick anything
      they like into their genitals? 

PC (heh): We believe that Chelsea's situation is fundamentally different
               from that of other young girls approaching womanhood 
               across America. Next Question?

Wolf Blitzer: Can you tell us if Chelsea is going to wear a training bra?

+++++++++

They declared a ban on harassing the cat....I vote for a ban on harassing 
Chelsea....

JZ

Peeve: The Goddamn Media 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 22:15:51 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard

> curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

>Ah, bullshit.  The media, not because of any inherent political bias but
>because people like to read sensational stories...

Aieee!  It's the media!?  And to think I trusted >fart< them *so* much...


>cocaine, folks; a whole lot of stupid yuppies did it back in the eighties,
>and I noted no reports of pink-shirted business geeks raping six-year-olds
>for their lunch money

Perhaps they had an alternate source of income, eh?


-Dave
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 13:07:24 GMT
 <yZrls*r01@prolix.apana.org.au> <1993Jan25.021906.15138@bbxrbk>
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00

Peeve: This entire thread.

In article <1993Jan25.021906.15138@bbxrbk>, Russ Kepler writes:

> In article <yZrls*r01@prolix.apana.org.au> dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton) writes:
> >Yo, Russ.  Here, have a small clue:  I'm not a criminal.
> >Habitual or otherwise.  I have no interest in breaking into your
> >house.  If I DID I would certainly make sure that nobody was home
> >at the time.
> 
> Thanks for making my point.  You would "make sure nobody was home"
> before breaking in - that one of the advantages of allowing self

Yeah.  Isn't it true that -most- burglaries take place when the
victims are away from their abode?

> Other than making my point, you failed to address the rebuttal of your
> point that a firearm couldn't be both safe from children and other
> pests and still be available for self defense purposes.  There are a

Your point was as vacuous as the entire 'issue'.  If you are in
the process of being robbed, then the criminal is unlikely to
give you any chance of rushing into your bedroom, and unlocking
your weapon; rather he or she will blow your fool head off before
you even get to say 'eek!  A robber!'.

Arguing this point is futile.  You want to own a gun?  Fine.
When you shoot yourself in the face in a reloading accident, I'll
be the first one to say "I told you so." Remember, I do not CARE
if you own a gun, several guns, or an entire range of diverse
weaponry.

What I cared about was being told that I'm somehow at fault
because an Australian state government decided to enact harsher
firearm ownership restrictions.

Guns don't kill people.  Fuckheads kill people.  Fuckheads with guns.

Dac
--
"America: Land of the ethically challenged"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Re: Traffic Peeves
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Peevetown Racing's Fan Club
Distribution: alt
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 00:18:24 GMT


In article <1k1c2pINNj2e@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>, geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
|>Leaving Sears Point International Raceway [peeve deleted]

C'mon, Goof! Where's the race report? You spent the weekend at the Point and
can't tell us one interesting thing that happened there? Da Fanz is here wit'
bated breat' and ready ta turn blue!
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Flats - being a combined French bastards/fucking EC peeve
Date: 26 Jan 93 15:47:50 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University


Readers of this forum might recall that I was recently pretty smug about
having been given an EC bursary to go to sunny Frogland for 2 relaxing
years. One of the reasons for my smugness was the immense amount of lolly
involved - about GBP2500 per month - hell, I was thinking of buying a flat
for Al and his bride to be out of my pocket change. 

Just on the verge of setting out to look for a place to live - maybe a little
spot on the Champs Elysees - I decided it might be a good idea to check
how much my social security contributions etc. were going to be, so I could
see if I was looking mainly in the "furnished chateau" section of the
ads, or maybe something more along the lines of "luxurious penthouse".
Imagine my surprise when I was told that they would be subtracting
SIXTY (count 'em, ****SIXTY!!!!!!!!!!******) PERCENT of my money, to pay
for my social security contributions, and THEIRS AS WELL!!! Out of the
remaining 40% they expected me to pay tax, and support a SO and young'un.
Now I know that French cuisine is a high art, but unless it contains some
pretty nifty recipes involving grass, soil, and river water, that leaves
rather little room for manoevre. Al may groan about Edinburgh prices, but
a conservative estimate puts Paris at approximately TWICE as much.

Faster than a speeding bullet, I dashed to the fax machine, to find out that
the EC don't give a shit about how the "host institution" allocates their
money - they suggested that after I've moved to Paris I could query the
amount of the deductions. Yeah, right, after I've hauled my ass across
the Channel and signed on the dotted line I can complain about the terms
of the contract I've signed. Great idea. Luckily I passed an elementary
course on Avoiding Traps For The Terminally Gullible some time ago.

By some strange coincidence, I happen to be aquainted with someone in France
who works in an organisation that administers bursaries such as the one I
was awarded. I gave her a call, and she was quite surprised to hear my tale.
So surprised, in fact, that the next day she called the person who'd been
dealing with my contract in Paris, and was told "Oh yes, we could pay more,
but it causes jealousy if one person is getting more money, so we choose to
pay them at a lower rate, and send the rest to the gov'mint". So not only is
this Parisian bitch a thief, she's also a liar, but since nothing is down in
paper, there's sweet FA I can do about it. The only satisfaction left is to
tell them to stick their job right up their haemmarhoidal French botties.
-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

"I'm not including the previous postings on this topic because I found the 
majority of them to be far too nasty for my liking." - anonymous net.loser
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Orientals . . .
Date: 22 Jan 93 18:18:46 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <1jntn1INN3a0@umbc4.umbc.edu> potler@umbc.edu (Laura Potler) writes:
>related peeve: anyone who gets on the airwaves and claims that they have the 
>	solution to all of our problems but, in reality, does nothing to solve 
>	them. 

But of course, that only makes sense.  The only one who can solve your
problems is you; the only one who can solve my problems is me.

   don "no, that isn't from a damn richard bach book" baldwin
From: roderir@hobo.ECE.ORST.EDU (richard roderick)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Rush Myth #930
Date: 26 Jan 1993 01:00:22 GMT
Organization: ECE Dept.,OSU,Corvallis
NNTP-Posting-Host: hobo.ece.orst.edu

>        As I watched Limbaugh's television audience blow two "applause 'n' 
>smile" cues I got a good laugh at the demographics as the camera panned across 


They don't use cue cards on his show.

Boy Dan, you sure can put some lame postings up that are "costing the
Internet thousands of dollars."

Richard
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 19:08:49 GMT

In <1k8kg9INNntn@umbc4.umbc.edu> potler@umbc.edu (Laura Potler) writes:

>>A gun is simply a fairly simple mechanical device.  Simple.

>brother-in-law worked in the e.r. in a hospital in newark. that "fairly simple
>mechanical device" was the number one source of his patients.

Did the "fairly-simple mechanical devices" go off by themselves?

Odd that in Switzerland, where every adult male is a member of the militia
and required to own what we would call an "assault weapon", there is
virtually NO problem like this.  Proliferation of these mechanical devices
ain't the answer, lp.  The sooner you and others realize this, the sooner
a meaningful dialogue can start to solve the problem of murderous violence
in this country.

Some ERs get automobile accidents as their number one source of patients.
Some, no doubt, get farming equipment accidents.

Peeve:  My "piercing" was itching pretty bad earlier.
   -Bill, the holy one
From: potler@umbc.edu (Laura Potler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: sunday paper
Date: 24 Jan 1993 20:41:16 -0500
Organization: University of Maryland, Baltimore County Campus
NNTP-Posting-Host: umbc4.umbc.edu

peeve: i only have time to read the paper on sunday. on sunday, they hide
	the news. no really, they do. the front page of the post has human
	interest stories and such. 

-l "it's gotta be here *some*where" p


-- 
-lp  *********************************************************************
*     "How did Elvis' handwriting appear on his own death certificate?"  *
*		--from "The Elvis Files:  Was His Death Faked?"          *
**************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: geoffm@netcom.com (Geoff Miller)
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Keywords: look at the vein in his temple throb
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services 
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 06:36:20 GMT



In article <1jko2vINNpoe@umbc4.umbc.edu> potler@umbc.edu (Laura Potler) writes:

>peeve: people that can only think in numbers.


628940!  3634951129 49475 55 892245467 6309568 485836 474747 -- 8947367,
64 4487653 9499.  737 64037828, 4947238474 (362547 45834 2236), 4785032
3825153408967 38730.  :^P  33562 58906, 4836, 394850 3955699!  4862...



75066 "1000101" 628859


-- 


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
629472410985                    + + + + + + + +                7467214305523
5384027345211093457             + + + + + + + +                89335411893
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: jennyg@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Well Paid in Name Only)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Nonsensical songs
Date: 22 Jan 1993 21:42:11 -0500
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
NNTP-Posting-Host: titan.ucs.umass.edu

In article <1993Jan20.230954.25860@igor.tamri.com> donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:

>Recently, Gillian was going through some of her old records(*) and happened
>across the Don McLain (?) album containing "American Pie". 

Lifted without shame from Jim Ryan's _The_70's_Life_In_a_Dumb_Decade:

At Last!! You can have the last word in *ALL* your Don McLean-related 
arguments with _The_Oxford_Annotated_American_Pie

Just a sample of the insights you'll gain:

McLean's verse:					Our Interpretation:

Well, for ten years (1), we've 		(1)  Ten years:  McLean wrote his
been on our own, and moss (2)		classic in 1970 - ten soul-searching
grows fat on a rolling stone (3)	years after the NYC bus drivers' strike
but that's not how it used to		of 1960.
be (4)					(2) Moss: a veiled reference to Moss
					Hart, beloved dramatist of the American
When the jester (5) sang for		musical stage
the King (6) and queen (7) in		(3) A reference to Roland Stone, drama
a coat he borrowed from James		critic to whom Hart owed much of his
Dean (8) and a voice that came		reputation in Cincinnati
from you and me				(4) McLean seems to be saying that's
					not how it used to be.
					(5) Harold Stassen, whose repeated bids
					for the Republican presidential nomina-
					tion made him a figure of fun.
					(6) Dwight D. Eisenhower, elder states-
					man of the Republican party.
					(7) Mamie Eisenhower
					(8) Reference unknown.  Possibly McLean
					meant Jmmy Dean, country music star and
					eventual sausage magnate.


Hope this answers all your questions....

Jenny "And I still have my bell bottoms, wedgies, and two pairs of hot
sox" Gutbezahl
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: The Los Altos Rod & Gun Club
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 93 06:32:10 GMT

In <C12HnA.7xA@vcd.hp.com> dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe) writes:

>mikea@zorba.gvg.tek.com (Michael P. Anderson) writes:

>>	What a fantastic newsgroup this is. Who invented it, please?

>The National Rifle Association in conjunction with the Sports Car Club of
>America and the U.S. Coast Guard.

The Coast Guard did it under orders from their superiors (in so many ways...),
the U.S. Navy.

Sublimely,
  -Bill
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: More Gun Control
Date: 22 Jan 1993 00:46:18 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

What gets me is that I can't buy land mines or hand grenades.

---
Brian Scearce                                           bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
              The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
                  "You can't fit the truth on a t-shirt, man."
                                 "That'd fit."

Newsgroups: alt.peeves,soc.singles
From: geoffm@netcom.com (Geoff Miller)
Subject: Re: More Things Learned at the Exploratorium
Followup-To: alt.peeves,soc.singles
Organization: PETA (People for the Evisceration of Tiresome Activists)
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 16:55:27 GMT



In article <1993Jan24.081244.27278@netcom.com> rohwerwd@netcom.com 
(W. David Rohwer) writes:

drieux writes:

>>Also Worth Noting, It is Prudent NOT to have a
>>gathering at the Exploritorium with a Collection
>>of Net.Nerds the same day as there is a Special ED
>>class full of folks who are mentally challenged.
                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>     Don't you mean "mentally retarded"?  Are you turning into a PC
>nut now?


Nahh -- he was talkin' 'bout droolers.



Geoff

-- 
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +                Mountain View 
geoffm@netcom.com               + + + + + + + +                California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: andy@cmptrc.lonestar.org (Andy Hart)
Subject: AACCKK!!!!! Not a good time or place to find 'em!
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 06:29:19 GMT
Distribution: WORLD
Organization: CompuTrac Inc., Richardson TX


Peeve:  I just poured myself a nice, big bowl of raison bran for a 
	late-night snack.  I wolfed down several great big bites           
	thinking "This is good!  I should eat cereal more often!".
	I sat down in my chair chewing away and placed the bowl
	of cereal under the light.  

	That's when I noticed the large quantity of bugs floating
	on the surface of the milk.


!Peeve: Oh well, protein is protein as my high school biology teacher, 
	Mrs. Copeland, used to say.
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Slow moving parodies (was: Inauguration Parade Coverage)
Date: 22 Jan 1993 15:30:47 GMT
Organization: FizzBall Racing
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

Steve Salter writes:
>what would pushup the Neilsen (sp?) ratings!

Shit.  When did this guy get released from alt.romance.chat?

Remember the Tale of Askalon, Steve?  It was written allegorically.

Guess who you've just prodded.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The only sports are auto racing and bull fighting, all the rest are games."

						--Ernest Hemingway