From: bobk@dogear.spk.wa.us (Bob Kirkpatrick)
Newsgroups: alt.child-support
Subject: Re: I HAD NO CHOICE ( was: Biological reaso
Date: 21 Dec 92 03:09:50 GMT
Organization: Dog Ear'd Systems of Spokane, WA

jsw@cray.com (Jon S. Wood) writes:

>   The women who is sexually, mentally, and physically abused by her husband
> should leave. Money and personal gain isn't on her list of priorities. 

No, but in many of these situations the women are also afraid of losing
their child, worried about where to go and how to survive. I've also
seen those who have a deep ingrained sense of loyalty --stand by your
spouse-- no matter what. When I began dealing with family law cases, I 
found myself amazed that people weren't aware of the services and alter-
natives available to get them out of the circumstances they're in.

> No person needs to be abused.

Some masochists might disagree. (-:  <sorry, couldn't resist>

> Not all women are helpless.

But those who cannot extract themselves from abusive circumstances are
a lot more helpless than you might imagine. If you think about it, the
helplessness they manifest is defined by their inability to leave.

> It is also a crime to assault people.

It's also a crime to falsely accuse people, but it's becomming a very
common facet of family law.

> Abuse awards no one, it punishes assualters for those who can prove it in 
> court.

If it goes to court. Oftentimes it doesn't.

> Assault is punishable.
> Mental abuse ISN"T. 
> Mental abuse is a made for t.v. movie that display's women like feminists' 
>  wish them to be; victims who need MORE rights than others. Personally, 
>  I think feminists are mistaken. Women are much smarter than that.

Whoa. Mental abuse (more commonly called Emotional Abuse) has a prevalence
in America unrivaled in any other country. It is an actionable offense, as
you pointed out earlier, if it can be proven in court. Emotional abuse has
many faces too. From telling someone repeatedly that they have no value,
to making threats with no substance, but are believed by the victim. Emo-
tional abuse is responsible for a tremendous amount of damage.

To label it as a "made for tv movie" is hardly accurate, Jon. The abuse is
so destructive, that we're waking up to the fact that it's responsible for
a significant portion of child suicides. Earlier this year I had a young
boy as a client --he killed himself. His father wanted no part of him and
his mother was an alcoholic. He made it clear that he believed that he had
no value at all. Just when we got him placed with relatives, he committed
suicide. Emotional abuse is no 'movie.'

> It is not a crime to claim large amounts of a husband's money because the 
> boyfriends dick has more money (divorce awards women, punishes men all in
> the name of children). The system isn't working Amy. 

That's more or less true. (I don't argue that the system is broken, but I
take exception to your generalization.) PEOPLE are screwed by the family
law system all the time. Men are, and women are. 

If it's at all possible, we need to try to focus the anger of our divorces
towards the right party. Many of the women who use the system as a weapon
do so with the encouragement of that system. If the law was intelligently
written and approached, we'd see a lot less of the crap. Many of the men
who used the system as a weapon --or it's loopholes to slide, do so again
with the encouragement of the system. Action/reaction, cause/effect.

It's weird science, to be sure. But grant me this --the overall number of
people hurt by our systems of family law vastly outweigh the feminists,
conservatives, or traditionalists. To help them in their quest to keep
the genders off balance and at each other's throats is a little foolish.

Happy Holidays!

--- 
Bob Kirkpatrick <bobk@dogear.spk.wa.us>
Dog Ear'd Systems of Spokane, WA 
Newsgroups: alt.child-support