From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Subject: So, you're straight... so far.  (was Re: Why are you straight?)
Originator: elf@halcyon.com
Reply-To: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Organization: Pendor, UnLtd.
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 00:52:04 GMT

   I recently wrote this post as a capstone to a series on alt.sex
inquiring of the heterosexuals there, "Why are you straight?"  Because
of a few requests from people who don't get alt.sex, I've reposted it
here.

      Elf !!!

   [ Begin ]

In article <9209291908.AA22622@moeng2.morgan.edu>
     glenn@MOENG2.MORGAN.EDU (D. Glenn Arthur Jr.) writes:

>Elf's request that we consider these questions earnestly is not,
>of course, "most circumstances".  I don't think Elf is asking hets
>to justify what they are, just to think about it.

   *Bingo*, as we sometimes hear.

   Part of the point of this whole exercise was not to get answers, but
to get people to realize that asking this question is both foolish and
futile, no matter what your orientation.  Very few people can tell you
*why* they are heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual.

   Even more importantly, perhaps, is the penultimate goal of getting
rid of these words, and their accompanying concepts.  Most people said
"I'm straight because I've never been attracted to a member of my own
sex..."

   Let's put an important word in there.

   "... Yet."

   Most of the people on USENET are young, literate, and intelligent.
I think, even with the attitude of "I've always been completely
straight," most of the people on the 'net are smart enough to realize
that, over the course of a long life, stranger things could happen.

   "Perhaps the greatest difference between love and friendship is that
friendships quite often have an external focus... you're friends with
someone because you both enjoy the same sports, or the same books, or
the same music.  Love is quite often realized when the focus of your
interest is _the other person_, and nothing else."

   And, should you meet someone that you find yourself agreeing with,
spending a lot of time with, focussing on _them_ and not an outside
world; should you meet someone who is just right for you, in many many
ways; and should they be inclined to express that "rightness" towards
you in a sexual way...

   ... does it really matter what they bring to bed with them?

   Sex is a lot more than Tab-A into Slot-B.  It's about hugging,
kissing, cuddling, touching, and loving someone.  It's about looking
down at someone in morning sunlight and thinking about how pretty they
are.

>And as I said, this is something I've thought about a lot.

   I too.

   I'm going to say it right here; I hate bi-supremacists.  I can't
stand people who say "Bisexuality is the only way to be."  Straights,
gays, lesbians, bisexuals... we're all just people.  If you never have
a homosexual encounter from birth to death... if you never have a
heterosexual encounter... so be it!

   But more frustrating are the ones who say "I could never / I would
never."  Let's be honest... you don't know.  You don't know if you'll
ever win a lottery, you don't know if you'll ever be in the position
where you'll have to kill someone, you don't know if you'll ever fall
in love with someone, _anyone_, regardless of gender.

   Go forward, be fearless.

         Elf !!!