From: heath@athena.cs.uga.edu (Terrance Heath)
Subject: Re: race based fetishes
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1993 23:08:43 GMT

In article <18394@autodesk.COM> randyc@Autodesk.COM (Randy Clark) writes:
>
>In article <C0up9o.B79@athena.cs.uga.edu> heath@athena.cs.uga.edu
>(Terrance Heath) writes:
>>	I've had some experience being on both sides of the
>>race-fetish issue, sort of.  It's an unsettling thing to lie in bed
>>with a man who looks at one's penis and says "I guess its true what
>>they say about black men", [...]
>
>	I think you just violated the Squirrel Rule
>	about self revelations in this newsgroup.  :-)

	Squirrel Rule? Never heard of it, but I can guess what it
might entail, given what I said above (quite without realizing it, I
might add.).

>	But on the serious side of what you're saying,
>	I can well imagine the awkwardness, difficulty,
>	and even degrading aspect of these situations.
>	No one should have to go through them, but of
>	course they do happen.
>
>	I have no general, all-purpose solutions.
>	I wish someone did.

	Well, if I come up with any, first I'll write a book and go on
the talk-show circuit and make millions.  Then....

>>	The whole mess had made me more and more suspicious of some
>>white gay men, particularly those who display an interest in me,
>>because I've no real way of knowing what there interests really are.
>
>	Once burned ... 
>	Whether it's racism or just
>	general manipulation/objectification, I'm at a
>	point right now where, like you, I'm generally
>	suspicious of displays of interest, unless the
>	person in question is already someone I know
>	(and like).  I wish it weren't that way
>
>	What I'm trying to say here, I guess, is that your
>	experience generalizes beyond the race question in
>	some ways.

	I suppose it does.  It reminds me of something someone posted
about relationships between hearing persons and deaf persons.

>>Even if its someone I've known for a while, I've discovered that its
>>easy to know a person for a while and not know just how racist they
>>are deep down. 
>

>>	Anyway, this is probably one of the things that frustrates me
>>most about the gay male community, particularly here in the south
>>where most of our southern belles are deathly allergic to chocolate,
>>and most gay men of color aren't merely closeted, they're in the
>>shoeox under the floorboards in the closet.
>
>	What a turn of phrase!  I got a (sad) chuckle out
>	of this.

	YOU got a sad chuckle out of it?  C'mere and let me tell you
about a sad chuckle.

>>After a while, it makes a
>>lot more sense to just take the phone off the hook, lock the door,
>>stay home and watch television.
>
>	Sigh.  I know the feeling.  Well, I haven't quite
>	given up yet; I hope you haven't either.
>


	Admittedly, when I wrote that last part I was indulging in
feeling quite sorry for myself. Anyway, I have about given up on
finding a relationship in this town. HOwever, I may have to learn to
live with it, since its likely to be another year or so before I can
afford to move, and I've already been here six years. Ugh. Perhaps a
larger city will at least provide greater chances, etc. I dunno.



-- 
"Black men loving black men is THE revolutionary act!"
			-Joseph Beam_
Terrance Heath 
heath@athena.cs.uga.edu
Newsgroups: soc.motss