HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rigler@dao.nrc.ca (Michael Rigler)
Subject: Re: THE WAGES OF STUPIDITY IS AN ADVERTISING C
Reply-To: rigler@dao.nrc.ca
Organization: DAO/CADC .
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 92 00:00:49 GMT

In article 1AM@tegra.com, vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail) writes:
>
>
>			    Larry Walters
>		       strapped 42 weather bal-
>		      loons to an aluminum lawn
>		   chair and soared to 16,000 feet
>		 before he shot out some of the bal-
>		 loons with a BB gun and crashed into
>		   a power line.  He was spotted by
>		      both TWA and Delta pilots.
>		    Larry, appropriately, is wear-
>		       ing our moon dial watch.
>			  It costs about $50.

HAW!@!  I've had that advertisement taped up on my office wall for several months
now.  I tore it from an issue of Outdoor magazine.  I really admire this guy. 

There is another add featuring a beautiful thirty-ish brunette sporting a Moon
Dial [tm] watch.  Her claim to faim is that her parachute failed to open and she
plummetted 10,000 feet to land in a pit of slime at a sewage treatment facility.

I have decided that this woman is fit to bear my children.

---
Rigler
Titanic Primeval Butcher
From: al837@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (John D. Nelson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: High Rate of Suicide in Norway
Date: 28 Dec 1992 17:52:47 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: al837@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (John D. Nelson)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc10.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll) says:

>
>In article <1had0uINN6nt@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, al837@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (John D. Nelson) writes:
>> 
>> I read an recent article that the high suicide rate in Norway was a direct
>> result of their funny accents. This is backed up by Bernard Flapnoodle's
>> book "Americans of Humorous Descent".

>please take this to rec.humor.funny. thank you.

Ok, take what.......? Why don't you stick it in your ear? Next thing you
know, a big, hairy, guy named, "Yorgi", will be knocking on your cell door.
And he won't be in a good mood.
-- 
---------------------------------------------------------------
 "If It's Too Loud....."       @ Graphics & Verbal Abuse Dept.@
   "Then You're Too Old".      @ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
****************************************************************
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Subject: Re: a matter of degrees
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 17:39:05 GMT

Dr. Robert (BoB) Tech (mlegare@wetware.com) wrote:
: it has been my experience that the big difference between pornography and
: erotica is that one is can be ever so much more boring than the other.

Hmmm.  Which of the two do you consider to be boring?  I speak
as an ex-subscriber to 'Yellow Silk'.

Actually, I think that this is one of those points on which EXHAUSTIVE
studies are required.  Yes, yes, that would be a good thing.

  -- Clifton (I think I had better get some coffee now)

--
cliftonr@netcom.com     Home: +1 808 521 9073  Work: +1 808 625 3234
Clifton Royston, Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Have a revelation, the first one's free/Soon to be addicted to eternity" - HMR
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.butt.harp
From: shelly@rachel.ibmpcug.co.uk (Shelly DelVeccio)
Subject: Re: ANYONE LOOKS GOOD IN JEANS
Organization: The IBM PC User Group On-line services
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 02:00:25 GMT

That's nice, dear. Now take your medicine.

-sh
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Craig Shergold)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Electricity smells of burnt pork
Date: 3 Jan 93 19:45:01 GMT
Organization: Caledonia, Sterne and Wilde, Gentlemen at Law
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

Having spent a good few hours on trains over Christmas, I have decided that
the reason I really enjoy train travel is that -- like ferries -- they give
me an unparalleled opportunity to entertain the contemplation of stunning 
exemplars of pulcritudinous muliebrity.  For some reason there are more than
your average expectation of pretty young women on trains.  I spent a happy
month in the summer pretending to be a student again by backpacking -- or 
rather kit-bagging -- around northern Europe and gradually making this 
pleasant discovery.

Buses are not the same.  On buses you just get to stare at the backs of the
heads of the people in front, and if anyone comes to sit next to you it is
inevitably both unwashed, and the local idiot, complete with Irish Wolfhound.
On trains, on the other hand, especially travelling late in the evenings,
there seems to be a half-way decent chance that the pretty girl with the
tumbling tresses and the sweet smile will ask if anyone is `sitting here'. 

It might just be, I suppose, that I am now old and boring-looking enough to
be the only person that looks as though it would be safe enough to sit near.  g
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: from the cultural wasteland
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 05:24:07 GMT

gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) writes:
>Mark., I know that none of you give a flying fuck about this, but I am
>living in a cultural wasteland full of pretentious twits who think that
>they're cultured
>gooley@netcom.com

I slipped into Eckerd's to pay homage to the chemical god who produce 
contact lens solutions when this pair of elderly ladies beat me to 
the single check-out line.  The small appliance section is behind the
cash register when there is a single line.

"I don't see the coffee maker with the cair-a-fay.  I have the ad here
 which has the coffee maker and cair-a-fay at $14.99."

Her friend, "Yes, a cair-a-fay lends such an air of elegance."

As the clerk filled out a raincheck, I looked over to the ad she was 
holding to find out what exactly a cair-a-fay is.

It turns out that the cair-a-fay is a thermal carafe that comes with the
drip coffee maker.

Two Live Clues: _As Pretentious As You Wanta Be_
--
!cat .signature
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: Re: SWM seeking Professional Asian Female
Keywords: Asian
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 11:11:11 GMT

In article <1992Dec22.005433.15193@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
>in alt.personals, saul@studio.enet.dec.com () writes:
>)
>)Single White Male Computer Professional seeking Professional Asian woman,
>							      ^^^^^
>)around 30 years old, slender, height < 5'5" for friendship and marriage.
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
>
><blink>
>
>
>

Yes, someone who has a job being an Asian, but isn't really...

Mark., one of those Asian Woman suits, you know
gooley@netcom.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: less than perfect
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 04:52:12 GMT

osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
>Mark. Gooley <gooley@netcom.com> writes:

>=> Supermodels just fill up with shit.  That's why they have to wear
>=> colored contacts.  When they get really full they discreetly vomit
>=> some of it out.

>Cindy takes a crap, puts it into a plate, then proceeds to eat it,
>saying "Hmmm.. that's my rich substance!" 
>(apologies to Bill Lee.)

No, no, you have it all wrong.  She had an unfortunate accident involving
her piles and the axle of Panama City taxi.  That is how she stays so thin.
--
!cat .signature
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Question (Was Re: In Search Of)
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 17:28:45 GMT

kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:

>(not including
>Brother Jim, who had God talk to him at a Van Halen concert and tell him to
>end his ways of sin), 

This guy came and talked on our campus.  The two funniest moments were:

o   when a black woman chewed him out for saying that Martin Luther
	King is in hell right now, and

o   when the students standing in a circle around him started doing the
	wave.

----mark
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Subject: SimLife
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 92 19:34:30 GMT

---
Highly recommended.  Not copy-protected, so give Maxis the
bucks and get the manual.  Support software makers who don't
copy-protect!

The tutorial contains oblique references to Ren & Stimpy.
"Space Madness", specifically.

---
c j silverio
on the list of possible disasters to your carefully
built ecosystem: civilization
From: d_headl@pavo.concordia.ca (D. H.)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: A thought...
Date: 3 Jan 93 09:54:00 GMT
Organization: Concordia University
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

Howl at the moon,
   Laugh at the sky,
      It's 4:47 in the morning...
Damn, I've got something in my eye!! 


David Headley_    /~~~~~~~~~~~\______/~~\                  
              \__/       _/\        __   \/~~~~~>------>  Maggot Brain   
d_headl@pavo.concordia.ca   \_/~~\_/  |________/           

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: MY GIRLFRIEND SAYS THAT I DON'T...
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 02:42:14 GMT


...PUT THE TOP ON THE APPLE JUICE TIGHT ENOUGH.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gaillard@panix.com (Ed Gaillard)
Subject: Re: test article
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 21:19:17 GMT
Organization: Radio Free Hades

jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:

>In <1992Dec30.204310.14058@nntp.telxon.com> mikem@nntp.telxon.com
(Michael Molnar) writes: 

>>This is a test article.  Please ignore.

>This is a test response.  Please do not, in response to this test response,
>cover yourself with spray-on cheese-food product, climb to the top of the
>Statue of Liberty, and read _Gravity's Rainbow_ aloud into a megaphone while
>tossing rubber frogs into the air to land on the spectators below.

Damn!  There go my plans for New Year's.

-ed g.
Going to Plan B.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hampe@wilbur.nas.nasa.gov (Andrew F. Hampe)
Subject: found art...
Organization: OnlyWhereRequiredByLaw
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 92 03:08:58 GMT

>
>We've cancelled Xmas and built XTrollius instead.
>
>The Trollius Project at The Ohio State University and the Ohio Supercomputer
>Center has recently completed a graphical user interface for the Trollius OS,
>as part of a research and development contract with Alex Parallel Computers
>of Montreal, Canada and Phoenix, Arizona.


ciao
drieux
From: cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: ANYONE LOOKS GOOD IN JEANS
Date: 2 Jan 93 03:26:23 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs

---
kenj@kambo.esd.sgi.com (Ken Jones) writes:
|phil@eos.arc.nasa.gov (Phil Stone) writes:
|>All those stories about San Francisco...they don't even begin to tell
|>the real truth.  Why, I can hardly get from my car to my house without
|>being raped by roving gangs of opportunistic queers.
|You lucky bastard!

It's those rugged Stone good looks, Ken.  And that towering
height.  But the REAL clincher is the bike.  It's

	** SHAFT DRIVE **

			isn't it, Phil?

---
c j silverio
whose boyfriend bought a shaftie 50cc bigger than hers
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aad@siemens.com (Anthony Datri)
Subject: Re: Lookism
Organization: Siemens Corporate Research, Princeton (Plainsboro), NJ
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 06:33:05 GMT

>him, presumably screw him (in these times), while I can't get ANY FEMALE
>to do more than give me the time of day, and that only when I call the
>time-of-day number to hear that sexy voice?

You procede to answer your own question:

>And he's got a fucking EARRING ferchrissakes!  How can any woman stand a
>man with a mutilated ear from which dangles effeminate jewelry?

>Mark., maybe I need a stupid haircut and a fucking ear-perforation

The words "hair" and "cut" don't belong together.


-- 

======================================================================8--<
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton)
Subject: Good thing / bad thing
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 18:25:52 GMT

GOOD THING:

My nice new 85-watt Pro-Logic receiver.

BAD THING:

The 25-watt speakers it's hooked up to.


-- 
ben
fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
dominate the subversive paradigm
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Subject: Re: ANYONE LOOKS GOOD IN JEANS
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 16:37:55 GMT



In article <1992Dec28.000206.29242@netcom.com> richh@netcom.com (richh) writes:


   I look *tough* in jeans.

so, are these the *real* orange label Levis as God intended or the new
"easy fit" jeans for fat yuppies?
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Subject: SimBIZARRE
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 23:08:17 GMT


Design your own bizarre posting!  Simulated entirely on your computer
you can control your own talk.bizarre news froup.  Crossposts,
flamewars and killfiles are all part of the fun.

  o Features lifelike ASCII graphics!

  o Not copy protected!

  o Choose from newbies, carasso, sho, kibo and many others *or* you can
    create your own!



"I couldn't tell the difference and I've been around longer than dirt"
      -- John Woods

"I moistened my trousers."
      -- Dave "Carasso" Noel

"Of course the entire Internet has been part of the simulation since
  day 1 and you never noticed it."
      -- mr X
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Question (Was Re: In Search Of)
Date: 21 Dec 1992 15:32:27 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <1gu0shINNa8q@sal-sun199.usc.edu> echeverr@scf.usc.edu (5150) writes:
>In article <1gt732INN9g5@rave.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
>>"A love supreme." (x14)
>>-- John Coltrane
>>    (after ruining his mind with drugs and becoming born-again)
>
>Which caused the real damage, though?

I would guess it was the combination.  The drug use was a long-term thing,
while the Christianity was fairly recent.  On the other hand, Hallie says
that all sax players are naturally unbalanced, but she plays the oboe so
I don't think she's a good judge.

Having known two people who found God while using hallucinogens (not including
Brother Jim, who had God talk to him at a Van Halen concert and tell him to
end his ways of sin), I am less apt to use such substances.  Anything that
might cause me to Jesus out is something I wish to avoid.
--scott

   (By the way, have you ever noticed how oboe players always pull their
    reeds out and start shaving them in the middle of a piece, just to get
    them in right before they come in?  Why is it you never see them break
    one while fiddling with it?)
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: No news is good news?
Date: 26 Dec 1992 22:48:22 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov


Some bozo in rec.humor."funny" writes:
>(A *really* old story - I heard this one as a child from my great
>uncle, who had heard it as a child around the turn of the century
>on some primordial predecessor of the phonograph.  Send me e-mail
>if you can identify its author.)
> [very old story deleted]

A variant of this appears in McGuffey's Fifth Reader, which dates from 1879.
It does not list any author, however.  Boccaccio's Decameron has a somewhat
less developed version, written in the 1325-1360 era, and it was probably
an apocryphal story at that time.  I don't know of any earlier references,
but I can ask a good friend who teaches pre-renaissance literature.

You should be ashamed of yourself for posting a joke this old.
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: WORKING ON CHRIST-MASS
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 05:46:10 GMT

In <1992Dec26.052422.23119@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
>Today is Christ-mass.  Out of a company location of over 80 people, I am
>the only one who showed up.  I've been here programming for 7 hours so far.
>Those lazy eggnog drinking, present wrapping, song singing, unkosher turkey
>eating, alcohol drinking, drunk driving, police-attention-getting, jail-time
>serving, attorney hiring, plea-bargaining, japanese electronics buying,
>good-for-nothing unproductive americans.

Aw, what's the matter, Roger?  Someone hid straight pins in your Chanukah
gelt?

No?

Why the hell not?

>...any I bet I'm the only one of the bastards that's actually been to
>bethlaham.

Bethlaham State Hospital for the Criminally Insane?
From: cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: jws
Date: 28 Dec 92 23:01:57 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs

---
The Big JW Honcho, Fred Franz, died on the 23rd.  Franz is
responsible for the JW translation of the Bible, though he 
has no formal training in Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic.  And
was in fact unable to recite the Greek alphabet during the 
court trial that revealed he was behind the translation.

Anyway, Fred Franz was the leader of this thing called,
imaginatively enough, the "Governing Body".  The Governing Body
of the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society runs the Jehovah's
Witnesses.  They write the _Watchtower_ articles, vet the 
_Awake!_ articles written by underlings, make the big doctrinal
decisions, and occasionally have big political fights with each
other.  During the last big fight, Fred Franz ousted his nephew
Raymond from the GB.  Raymond wrote two books all about what it's
like at the top of the JWs.  Fun reading.

Fred Franz is responsible for a few of the JW's more fun beliefs:
refusal to accept vaccinations (since repudiated), refusal to
accept blood transfusions (still in force), requirement to shun
non-JW family members (still in force).  Raymond softened that
last one during his tenure on the GB, because he found it cruel &
inhumane.  When Fred ousted Raymond, he reinstated the shunning.

Fred Franz once opened a funeral speech by yelling:  "Isn't it 
grand to be ALIVE?"  He once answered a question about god
killing little children in Armageddon by saying, "Little nits
eventually become lice, and little rats grow up to become big
rats."

Quite a guy, Frederick Franz.  

JW doctrine & practice is quite dependent on the guy (never, ever
a woman) at the top.  Watch for exciting new developments on the
JW front in the next year!

---
c j silverio
cult-watching a specialty
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: John Austin <jea1@cornell.edu>
Subject: Re: prediction for '93
X-Xxdate: Mon, 21 Dec 92 13: 30:11 GMT
Nntp-Posting-User: jea1@cornell.edu
Organization: Boyce Thompson Institute
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d16
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 13:23:22 GMT

In article <1992Dec19.040314.20784@wam.umd.edu> Yong-Mi Kim, kimy@wam.umd.edu
writes:
>Hillary Clinton will get preggers in the White House.

well, I did hear she was angling for a new position...



.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .
John Austin (jea1@cornell.edu)                                                 
Grafix iR Us                                                  Ahoy, First Mate!
Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research                                    
2473 562 2346the incredible shrinking .sig691
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Subject: Re: Boston Terrier Stud Needed
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 23:57:38 GMT

Roger Carasso (carasso@Turing.ORG) wrote:
: julieann@cmhcsys.cmhcsys.com (Julieann Fitchwell) writes:
: >My three year old female Boston will be coming into season sometime this
: >Spring and I would like to breed her with a high quality stud. She is
: >registered (AKC) and is pet quality. 
: 
: Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?

It's just you, Roger.
  -- Clifton

--
cliftonr@netcom.com     Home: +1 808 521 9073  Work: +1 808 625 3234
Clifton Royston, Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Have a revelation, the first one's free/Soon to be addicted to eternity" - HMR
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:42733 alt.folklore.computers:18233
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: R
Date: 21 Dec 1992 23:46:04 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <waterman.724975301@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> waterman@cs.brandeis.edu writes:
>>	"R" is being sold for parts, Cleveland added.  "It cost us three
>>million bucks," he said, "and we're selling it for $3,000."
>
>I didn't know you had that kind of spare change laying about, Scott.

Nope.  I'm not the fellow buying it.  I'm holding out until they surplus the
"Y" machine, which is considerably smaller (it's an 830).
--scott

When I was an undergraduate (not all that long ago), there was a fellow 
at the school where I was attending who was selling a Hazeltine 2000 terminal
for a couple of hundred bucks.  This was a fair price at the time for a 
terminal that didn't have lower case, since the campus computer systems
didn't have lowercase either.

In any event, he put posters up all over campus offering this machine for
sale, and in big letters at the top was "It's like having Cyber in your room!"
I thought about this briefly, and decided that I didn't really want Cyber
in my room.  Where would I put the motor-generator sets, first of all?
Anyway, my RA at the time was upset enough about the PDP-11, which he kept
trying to insist was a second refrigerator and trying to get it removed.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: ANYONE LOOKS GOOD IN JEANS
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 03:39:55 GMT

In article <1992Dec28.210102.19357@asuvax.eas.asu.edu> ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes:
>richh@netcom.com (richh) writes:

>> I look *tough* in jeans.

>     Well I'd never worn them before, but just
>last night I did for the first time, and I found
>out that I look *like the kind of guy who needs
>to have his ass fondled* in Dockers.

You'd probably have pretty good luck in San Francisco too, if you're
into that sort of thing. 

Or, want someone else to be into it....


-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"Data sheet: HSN-3000 Nuclear Event Detector. The [NED] senses the gamma
radiation pulse [from a] nuclear weapon." As if we wouldn't notice...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (Dr. Robert (BoB) Tech)
Subject: world appalling
Organization: The Flying Killfile Ranch
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 02:27:21 GMT



every year that i got to visit w/ my parents
for christmas (i was in utah.  i did not see
pj finerty.  i had no terminal & did not read
news) i participate in an ancient and revered
pre-holiday ritual:  on christmas eve, every
one of us gets to open one present.

it does not fail that the present i open is
broken or non-functional.

i love hoiday tradition.


-- 
if one falls on you,
we just carve your name on it
and leave it there...
mlegare@wetware.com
From: josh@pogo.cqs.washington.edu (Josh Hayes)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Jose, Jose, he's our man
Date: 30 Dec 92 23:39:00 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: pogo.cqs.washington.edu


My  wife just came in from a trip to the liquor store, with 
a bottle of tequila, and I began to sing "bottle of tequila, 
fruit of the....uh..." and then I got stuck. Anyone got any 
good ideas?

P.S. we thought about "bottle of Cuervo" already. Good luck.

the doc
--
  Josh Hayes, Quantitative Sciences HR-20 U of Washington
  josh@mowgli.cqs.washington.edu             206 543-5004
  The harder they come, the harder they fall, one and all
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre