Newsgroups: bit.listserv.gaynet
Date:         Mon, 7 Sep 1992 14:17:02 EDT
From:         gaynet@GALLIFREY.KENT.EDU
Subject:      GayNet Digest Volume 6 Issue 12

In this issue:
                               wondering
                  About the Ontario Pension Thing....
                               Quebec BBS
                              Superficial?

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----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Mathemagician <bevans@carina.unm.edu>
Subject: Re: wondering
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 92 3:57:04 MDT

[I'm also forwarding this directly to the anonymous sender]

An anonymous sender writes:

> Even though I'm attracted
> to men, I'm not sure I am or want to be part of the American gay men's
> community.  The superficiality, objectification and narcissism is very
> uncomfortable for me and seems to be counter to my spiritual side with its
> respect for fellow human beings.  Some of the attitudes I've seen or heard of
> towards woman, children, men who are fathers, racial minorities,
> bisexual men are very, very sad.

I guess the first thing to say is that the characteristics you
attribute to the "American gay men's community" are not unique to
Americans, gay men, or men in general.  Being gay does not make one
predisposed to be superficial, objectifying, or narcissistic.  Being
gay does not mean a person has a tendency towards sexism, bias against
children, bias against parenthood, racist, bias against bisexuals,
etc.  Does it happen?  Of course it happens.  That doesn't mean that
we're all like that.

I will admit that this is the side that gets the most press, but it
hardly the defining characteristic of what it means to be a gay male
in this society.  That is, there is more to life than the "boy-toy"
bars out there.  There are many groups that cater to those who don't
like that scene.  For example, if you sing, you might want to consider
joining your local Gay Men's Chorus.

Just like any person, you have to find the other people with whom you
fit in.  I have found most people I meet not to share all of my
general interests...some are actually quite hostile.  Should I condemn
all similar people because of that?  No.  It just means I have to find
some other people to hang around.

We're not all sex-craved maniacs who are only looking to get our rocks
off...really!  ;-)

-
Brian Evans                |     "Bad mood, bad mood...Sure I'm in a bad mood!
bevans@carina.unm.edu      |      I haven't had sex...*EVER!*" -- Virgin Mary

------------------------------

From: Mathemagician <bevans@carina.unm.edu>
Subject: About the Ontario Pension Thing....
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 92 4:01:16 MDT

Couldn't these people have saved themselves a lot of time and effort
by simply allowing same-sex couples to get married?  (Granted, I don't
know the ability of the body making the decision to do this, but you'd
think that if they're going to go this far, they might as well just
save themselves a lot of hassle with regard to re-interpreting and
rewriting laws by just allowing same-sex couples to get married in the
first place.)

-
Brian Evans                |     "Bad mood, bad mood...Sure I'm in a bad mood!
bevans@carina.unm.edu      |      I haven't had sex...*EVER!*" -- Virgin Mary

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 07:32 EST
From: DAPHNE KUTZER <KUTZERDM@splava.cc.plattsburgh.edu>
Subject: Re: Quebec BBS
X-Organization: SUNY at Plattsburgh, New York, USA

Date sent:  7-SEP-1992 07:30:43
I, too, would be interested in any BBS services (gay or lesbian related) in
Montreal or environs, since I live only 15 miles from the border. En
anglais ou en francais--je parle les deux.

Thanks and merci.
Daphne
kutzerdm@cc. plattsburgh.edu

------------------------------

Date:         Mon, 07 Sep 92 09:59:44 CDT
From: Mike <MORIARTY@VM1.NoDak.EDU>
Organization: North Dakota Higher Education Computer Network
Subject:      Superficial?

To the anonymous poster who objected to what he called gay
"superficiality."  Was Achilles superficial?  Michelangelo?
Walter Pater?  Oscar Wilde?  Woops, of course poor Oscar was
all about superficiality.  :-)  What about Wittgenstein?  Hardly
superficial.
       See, some human beings are shallow.  Some human beings are
deep.  Some human beings are callow.  Some human beings are sheep.
The problem is simply this...all gay men are human beings.
     Literary people call this "the human condition."  As the callow
ones say, "Get used to it."
      On a somehwat more charitable line of commentary, why not seek
out associations with people who think like you do?  There are other
gays out there who share your values.  You've been meeting the wrong
crowd, that's all, possible because you're looking for vapid people
to justify your stereotype of gays.  You hurt yourself more than you
hurt gay people when you do that, because you obviously have gay
needs. Let your friends know you're looking for a simpatico male,
drop a few hints here and there, stop lying about your sexuality,
and you too will find happiness in self acceptance.  Mr. Right is
just around the corner, waiting for you to stop beating up on all
gays because you want to perpetuate your stereotypes.

------------------------------

End of GayNet Digest
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