From: at392@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Michel M. Karam)
Subject: Pleasure Marriages
Reply-To: at392@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Michel M. Karam)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 92 21:55:19 GMT


[copied from lebnet without permission]

Middle East Times, January 1992

BEIRUT  - Yusuf Abdel Sater estimates he has been married over 40 times,
sometimes for as tong as two months or as short as two hours, practicing with
vigor what Shias call 'pleasure marriages.'
With, as their guide, a verse of the Koran that apparently legitimizes
short-term sexual unions, Shia men and women may legally enter into a contract
in which the man pays a dowry and the woman becomes his wife: Object: sex.
In the Shia conception of the way God made the world, sex can be legal or
illegal. Illegal sex occurs outside marriage. Legal sex occurs within marriage
whether short-term or long-term.

According to Sayyed Mohammed Hussein Fadlallah, leader of the fundamentalist
wing of Lebanese Shias, which includes Hezballah, the concept of 'pleasure
marriages' was designed to solve the sexual frustration of men such as
students, who may be financially unable to marry, or men who are away from
their wives for a long period of time but who need to satisfy their sexual
desires.

"The short-period marriage is the solution for sexual urges in that period of
time in which a man cannot solve his problems - whether financial or due to
travel," said the cleric. Wael Zagani, a 23-year-old theology student, has been
married twice, but cannot afford to marry permanently. In his first 'pleasure
marriage,' his wife was given LL 10,000 (about $11), to be his wife for a
year; the second wife agreed to a two-year contract, and was given a
copy of the Koran - a gift that is considered priceless, but which can be
bought for a moderate sum.

The aspiring 'sheikh' lives in his father's home in Beirut's teaming southern
suburbs, while his wife lives with her family. The couple, though legally
married under the tenants of Shia Islam, which the Lebanese government accepts
as binding, have not informed their families of their marriage, however,
because they are ashamed.

The social stigma attached to 'pleasure marriages is strong, but Shias are
reluctant to say that short-term marriages are simply 'sex for sale because
they are referred to in the Koran, and because the practice was permissible
during the Prophet Mohammad's lifetime.

Abou Ayoub, a Lebanese working at the Iranian Embassy in Lebanon who frequently
travels to Iran, said that it would be impossible to go public with 'pleasure
marriages.' "The father of a daughter, will let you take her to a party where
you may stay out until the middle of the night, and where there is dancing
and you know what happens after dancing... But if you tell him you want to
marry his daughter in a 'pleasure marriage,' he might kill you."

Shortly after the Gulf war, between Iran and Iraq ended in 1988, Iranian
President Hashemi Rafsanjani - following mounting pressure by young women who
had lost their husband, in battle and who could not find men to marry them in
conventional marriages - announced during Friday prayers that temporary
marriages should not be treated with any less respect than life time marriages.

However, according to clerics familiar with both countries, in Iran and
Lebanon Shias have similar attitudes towards 'pleasure marriages': They are
legal, but nothing to write home about.

According to Iranian scholar Ahmad Lousani, a Ph.D. adviser in Arabic
literature at the Lebanese University; "The boy is embarrassed to tell his
parents: the girl more so. Not everything permitted should be done."

The traditional split between the two main sects of Islam also embraces
'pleasure marriages.' Sunnis claim that Mohammed annulled the practice because
the great Islamic wars were over and soldiers were no longer away from their
wives. The Shias claim that Mohammed condoned 'pleasure marriages' and that it
was the second caliph, Omar, who overturned the Koran-approved practice, and
that a caliph cannot overrule a prophet.

Both sides are implacable, with Sayyed Fadlallah stating tersely:
"We are right; they are wrong."

Christian attitudes toward 'pleasure marriages' in this religiously polarized
country are hostile. One bank employee called those who Practice temporary
marriages "animals".

The conditions for 'pleasure marriages', are heavily weighted in favor of the
man. He can break, the contract whenever he chooses. The woman cannot. He is
not obliged to spend any money on her, whether it is for clothes, food or
lodgings.

Because of the secretive nature of 'pleasure marriages,' the wife usually does
not live with the husband, but at her own home. The man is not responsible for
her upkeep there, either. Should the husband die during the the marriage, the
wife has no rights of inheritance.

A man may have an unlimited nunber of 'pleasure marriages' concurrently, as
well as four wives in pemanent marriages, as in the traditional Muslim
practice.

Should the woman become pregnant, the child, if it is a boy, will live with
the father after the age of two, or after the age of seven if it is a girl,
unless the parents had previously agreed to other arrangements.
If a husband in a 'pleasure marriage' divorces, the woman is not allowed to
remarry until two menstrual cycles have passed, in order to insure that she
was not made pregnant by her previous husband.

The contract between the man and the woman can be signed in front of a
witness - preferably a sheikh - or it can be simply oral.

Most are oral, to preserve secrecy, and they follow a set formula in which the
man says he will marry the woman for a set period of time, and the woman
agrees. However, there are exceptions.

Mohammed Hijazi has been married for three and a half years of the ten-year
contract he agreed on with his wife. Their marriage is public, they live
together and the contract was witnessed by a sheikh. Some women who insist
on a written contract do so because they do not know the man very well, and
are afraid he will not fulfill his responsibilities.

The man must provide a dowry. Often this dowry consists of money, but any
object of value is sufficient. One practitioner of 'pleasure marriages' said
that a girl he had temporarily married refused to take a dowry after they had
had sex, and that he felt as if he had sinned in the eyes of God, and never
wanted to see the girl again.

Most, if not all females who agree to pleasure marriages' are either widows or
divorcees. The Arabic word meaning 'girl' also carries the connotation of
virginity, and girls are not allowed to enter a temporary marriage without
the permission of the father.

Though clerics ignore the sexual needs of the women, the men who practice
'pleasure marriages' are more willing to recognize sexuality in their partners.
Traditional-minded Arab men are reluctant to permanently marry non-virgins,
they say, so women have few choices but to acquiesce to 'pleasure marriages.'
Reem Al Khalil, a 26-year-old post-graduate archeology student at the American
University of Beirut, believes that ' pleasure marriages' meet women's needs.
"I think it is a flexible step in Islam," she says. "It proves how flexible
Islam is concerning society; especially women.
Who says the woman is being used?"