From: tms@cs.umd.edu (Tom Swiss (not Swift, not Suiss, Swiss!))
Newsgroups: talk.politics.drugs
Subject: Re: Far Right version of Bill of Rights
Keywords: topical, original, chuckle
Date: 5 Sep 92 20:36:51 GMT
Organization: The Reality Liberation Front (pixels to the people!)


     From rec.humor.funny:

maven@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov (Larry Fishbach) writes:
|>
|> 
|>            Far Right's Proposed New "Bill of Rights"
|>                                
|>                          Amendment 1
|>Congress shall make laws compelling the establishment of religion
|>and demanding the exercise thereof; and abridging the freedom of
|>speech and of the liberal press; and preventing the people from
|>peaceful assembly; and forbidding the courts to redress
|>grievances.
|>
|>                          Amendment 2
|>A well-regulated militia being superfluous to the issue, the
|>people shall be compelled to bear arms and kill each other.
|>
|>                          Amendment 3
|>No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house,
|>without the consent of the owner, unless that house is being used
|>for the distribution of illegal substances.
|>
|>                          Amendment 4
|>The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses,
|>papers. and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures,
|>shall be violated under the excuse of being for the public good,
|>and no warrants shall need to be issued, but upon probable cause
|>supported by anonymous sources, any place shall be subject to
|>search and persons or things seized.
|>
|>                          Amendment 5
|>Any person who refuses to testify in court about his involvement
|>in a crime, shall automatically be judged guilty.  His property
|>may be seized upon the governments determination that he must be
|>guilty.
|>
|>                          Amendment 6
|>In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right
|>to a speedy and public trial before he is found guilty.  He is
|>entitled to the assistance of counsel for his defense but not for
|>any appeals.
|>
|>                          Amendment 7
|>In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall
|>exceed twenty million dollars, the right of trial by jury shall
|>be preserved.
|>
|>                          Amendment 8
|>Excessive bail shall be required to ensure that the accused are
|>kept behind bars where they belong.
|>
|>                          Amendment 9
|>The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall be
|>ignored if they conflict with the Walton's version of Family
|>Values.
|>
|>                          Amendment 10
|>The powers not delegated to the United States by the
|>Constitution, shall be reserved for the Supreme Court, except
|>that the States shall have the right to ban abortions.
|>
|>
|>**
|>maven@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov          Larry Fishbach @ NASA Lewis Cleveland Ohio
|>--
|>Selected by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
|>If you see a problem with an RHF posting, reply to the poster please, not to
|>me.  Ask the poster to forward comments back to me if this is necessary.

===============================================================================
Tom Swiss/tms@flubber.cs.umd.edu| "Born to die" | Keep your laws off my brain!
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