From: ph2a+@andrew.cmu.edu (Paul S. Hrynko)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: "Just Happens"
Date: 22 Nov 92 00:32:51 GMT
Organization: Freshman, CIT general, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

I can't possibly go into detail as much as Diana did, but I can say a
few things

-You never find a relationship when you're looking for it.  Extremely
true, but I don't think it's because you're going for the superficial; I
think it's because you think about it too much.

-Relationships do just happen.  In my life, I have never made a
conscious effort to keep a relationship going.  Actually, let me
rephrase that.  I live relationships for the moment.  I have
compromised, I have changed myself, but only because it would make
myself and the relationship better.  Relationships and other opinions
tend to change your mind about issues.  But I will not change
fundamental values overnight.  If they do change, it just happens.

-If the lives of you and a SO happen to be parallel along this road of
life, you can try to connect them.  You are not "making" a relationship
in the beginning.  What you do later in the relationship is nourish the
relationship, as the two of you begin to intertwine values, bringing the
paths together.

An Example:  My SO and I have also been going out for 1.5 years.  We
used to be academic rivals, hating everything the other said and did. 
But there were times where we would happen to be in the same place at
the same time.  Eventually, our hating spawned an interest in what the
other person was doing.  We came to the conclusion that we had never
seen each other socially.  She invited me to a dance.  We became distant
again a few weeks later. Then Good Friends. A year and a half later, I
dumped my current girlfriend, because I was in love with her.  She came
up to me out of the blue and told me she loved me.  BAM!  Our paths had
crossed.  I didn't do any work at all, neither did she.  We had somehow
formed a relationship.  And today, a year later,  over 338 miles apart,
we are in love.  When we separated at the end of this summer to go back
to college, we wanted to see how we would act apart, to see how OUR
relationship would be.  Now, I don't even consider leaving our
relationship, and she the same.  We do communicate more than any other
couple I know, and we are in love more than any other couple I know. 
But our communication is not "making" the relationship, it is nourishing
the relationship, and just happened.

Comments? Questions?



   ---------                     __
             \                  |  |  Paul Hrynko  (Ph2a@andrew.cmu.edu)
       /     /                  | /   Box 4838
   ---------    __              |/    5115 Margaret Morrison
     /        /   \   /|   |    /\    Pittsburgh, Pa  15213-3831
    /         \___/ \/  \__/\__/  \   Carnegie Mellon University 412-268-4303

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
B efore your eyes observe the union of the sky with the water,
E bbing and augmenting tides which know no bounds.
A ll observe the eternal crashing of moody waves on the sand,
C alling you to become part of a worldly being greater than yourself, 
H aving the ability to attain true love, peace, and contentment.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14041 soc.singles:30733