From: grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Skin the Head
Distribution: world
Date: 28 Aug 92 19:13:26 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love


For the SIXTH night in a row I wake up to Chris moaning and crying out 
in his sleep.  For awhile I lie there and use his moans and groans as 
background music to my fantasies of he and I and a bottle of Wesson.

After a bit, just for the heck of it, I begin to answer him.

"Ahhh. Oh God! Oh God!" 
"Yes! Yes! Oooh God yeesss!
"Please...God, stop. Oh God stop".
"Don't stop, oh, oh, don't stop."

I laugh as I grow tired of the game and jump out of bed deciding I'm going 
to end this shit once and for all. Hey, I'm an insomniac but even I need 
a little sleep to stay only MILDLY psychotic.

I saunter buck-naked into his room and take a moment to enjoy the view. 
He is the most awe inspiring piece of tail I have ever had the privilege 
of viewing sweating and naked in the throws of a nightmare.

I walk over to his bed to get up close and personal and gaze in reverence 
upon the overwhelming beauty of his almost hairless, muscled physique. 
"Oh man, some day soooon you and me", I croon. All of a sudden he convulses 
again cries out in Korean and flips onto his stomach.

I take that as an invite and I climb onto his back and whisper in his ear, 
"What's the matter, what's the matter, what's the matter." This is my cheap 
ass attempt at subliminals. I've done this with Chris before; it's a lot of 
fun because it actually works.

He mumbles something about someone coming to get him. Who, I don't know,  
since I'm straddling those tight cheeks of his and don't feel like 
relinquishing this particularly firm perch to hear him more clearly.

But what the fuck, he's fighting some internal demons and what kind of 
roommate would I be if I didn't help him with his problems.

"You mean the skinheads?Right?The Nazis next door?Right?The Nazis, coming 
to get you.Nazis.Nazis.Nazis.Hitler.Nazis".

He goes ballistic and springs out of bed like I tweaked his family jewels 
or something.  I hit the floor praying to every damn deity I can think 
of that he isn't awake. Chris is a 15 year blackbelt in Karate and I've SEEN 
what he can do when he's pissed.  I make sure not to make any sudden 
movements, but I'm in luck he's still asleep. I can hear he's muttering, 
"The Nazis are coming...coming to get me."

"In fact my man, they're right next door", I say cheerfully. "I think we 
should make sure they don't bother you annny more". Chris grunts and 
begins to march to the front door; I see I've gotten him motivated.  
I run to my room to look for proper attire for this particular escapade. 
I glance over my shoulder to make sure he's not leaving without me dash 
into my room and see Jake and Elwood, my cats, have dragged out my bat, 
wimple, my mirrored shades and my football shoulder pads.

A good selection. I like it. I gear up, chalk my hands so that they 
won't slip on the aluminum and I am ready to fucking go!

No girded loins, dammit! We'll leave this world like we came in; 
bare-assed and screaming at the top of our lungs.

We can't miss their door, it has a big swastika on it and a list of 
people they don't want to come visit. 

NO SPICKS, MIKES, WOPS, KIKES, CHINKS, NIGGERS, FAGS ALLOWED.

Damn, I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner.

I am directly behind Chris pushing him forward, serenading, chanting, 
"Coming to get you,coming to get yooou. Coming...closer."

Then we're at the door and 6' 3" of naked raging Korean is waiting for 
the word of the day.  

"Hey Chris, I think they just said come on in".

His foot lashes out and the door blasts off the hinges. I see around his 
side some surprised jerk with a swastika tattooed on his stupid head. 
Chris sees him and starts to scream:

SKIN THE HEAD!!! SKIN THE HEAD!!! I almost pity the little tattooed shit...
almost.

I see some other sorry bastard come careening out of another room and 
I face him with love in my heart and high grade aluminum in my hand. 
"I just want to help you understand how _I_ feel honey", I plead.
                                        
Hhhm. He didn't seemed receptive. Oh well.

"Hey, badder, badder, 
 Hey, badder, badder, badder, badder, 
 Hey, badder, badder,
 Hey, badder, badder, badder, badder, badder
 Hey, badder, badder
 Hey, badder, badder, badder, badder,
 Hey, badder, badder...

SWING!!"
--
"So I'm minding my own business...no, really. | ...uunet!canetoad!grendel
 And I see him, the HIM in big impressive     | canetoad!grendel@uunet.uu.net
 letters. And he owns me, I mean the way      |
 pigeons own N.Y...damn I'm had again."       |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre