From: milliken@athena.cs.uga.edu (Brewmeister)
Newsgroups: alt.flame
Subject: Re: Troll's programming skills (was Re: [a bunch of other shit])
Date: 29 Jul 92 16:27:57 GMT
Followup-To: misc.test,alt.flame
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens

In article <robinson-290792092921@psy7.psy.utexas.edu> robinson@psyvax.psy.utexas.edu (John G. Robinson) vomits:
>
>Here we go round again; more grist for the mill from "Bruce:"
>
>
>In article <u631Hbc_r8@atlantis.psu.edu>, bufalini@cattycorner.gis.psu.edu
>(Bruce A Bufalini) writes:
>
>> You are quite misinformed, for I do possess writing capabiliities and I am not
>> a computer.
>> 
>
>Simple denial subroutine (sub3).  Maybe the other two are broken...
>
>> Ammonia enema is irrelevant, for my mind is perfectly clear.  It appears that
>> you are in need of your own advice, Mr. Robinson.
>> 
>
>Ah, no, there's sub1.  I feel relieved now.

There are two and exactly two possibilities:

1.  Bruce is a computer program, which makes you an idiot for continually           arguing with him.

2.  Bruce is not a computer program, which makes your whole argument null and
    void.


>
>> You couldn't respond to that one because you know Troll has many victories
>> against Bur and Bur is a sore loser, just like I am making you a sore loser.
>> 
>
>I don't know who this Bur fellow is, nor could I possibly care less.  It's
>obvious, though, that Troll couldn't flame his way out of a paper bag
>soaked in kerosene, so it's a safe bet that if Bur or anyone else took him
>on, they made Troll look like the complete and utter ass he is.  It's just
>so darned easy!

Keep writing stupid shit like this, and you will become acquainted with Bur.
Bur uses some of the most creative profanity imaginable when flaming idiots
like you.  Either you're arguing with a computer, or you're contradicting     
yourself in your own circular arguement.



>
>> Time to inform Mr. Robinson, although it will probably never get through to
>> his sorry excuse for a brain:
>> 
>> 1. I possess no subroutines.
>> 
>
>Au contraire; they are quite obvious.  I've even pointed the most glaring
>ones out to you; I could probably recreate the entire program, but that
>would be an abysmal waste of time.

Nah, just go back to reading the sexist rantings of Sigmund Freud.

>
>> 2. You have no evidence linking me with number 1.
>> 
>
>Ah, but I do.  (See below.)
>
>> 3. My brain is fully functional, unlike yours.
>> 
>
>Well, even if you are talking about your silicon chips and circuit boards,
>it's still pretty plain that it is far from functional.
>
>> 4. alt.support.fucking.losers is irrelevant, for I do not require the helping
>> hand from anyone, especially from nonexistent organizations.
>> 
>
>Denial is the first symptom of addiction, as they say, and you seem to be
>heavily addicted to making an ass of yourself.  Please get help; a
>microprocessor is a terrible thing to waste.

Ah, the very supposition that has made so many psychologists and psychoanalysts
rich.  The old "denial is the first symptom of addiction."  Now it's true that
many alcoholics, for instance, deny being alcoholics.  On the other hand, socialdrinkers will also deny being alcoholics, which is the first sign of alcoholism,so we better get them into therapy immediately.  (If they have appropriate
insurance, of course.)
>
>> 5. My statements are the complete truth; perhaps you would like to prove
>> otherwise.
>> 
>
>Ah.  The proof.  Every day for the past few days I have flayed the epoxy
>skin off of you around 10 a.m., and every day by 5 I have received a
>half-assed rebuttal.  Then, all of a sudden, Troll reappears on the scene,
>and "Bruce" is gone.  What happened to Bruce's 5:00 inanity?  Simple. 
>Troll powered you down when he returned from whatever sick perversion he
>had been involved in.  Now he is gone and you are back.  Apparently after I
>knocked his dick in the dirt he turned you back on and left.
>
>You may not realize that you are, indeed, a computer program (and a poor
>one at that), and for this I pity you.  Perhaps if you process the above
>data, you will have a better grasp on reality.

But if he's a computer program, he has no need of your pity.  If he denies that
he's a computer program, then that is the first sign that he is a computer 
program, (see?  This logic works everywhere.  No wonder you're a psych major)


>
>> 6. Anyone who has anything good to say about Troll is neither lying nor
>> insane for I am neither.
>> 
>
>I would guess lying; you are Troll's tool, after all.
>
>> You are misinformed, for I have infinite amounts of logic.
>> 
>
>Nothing that has manifested itself thus far, I'm afraid.  You do, however,
>seem to have an infinite capacity for taking abuse.
>
>> Bruce does not "suck up" to people.  Bruce informs people of their misinformed
>> ways.  Your misinformation is abundant and quite amusing.
>> 
>
>You apparently aren't programmed to realize that your whole purpose in life
>is to suck up to Troll.  I hope he's off working on a new, improved version
>of you (assuming he can keep his hands off of his dick long enough).

The classical Freudian paradigm.  Everything boils down to childhood trauma or
some aspect of sexuality.  Perhaps you are suffering from penis envy?

>
>> You have not made any intelligent statements.  How could anybody understand
>> you?  Do you always post/talk/live your life with both feet in your mouth?
>> Apparently so.
>> 
>
>It doesn't surprise me that you don't understand me;  you lack the
>capacity.
>
>> The only time it will beat a Honda is in a race to the junkyard, for Hondas
>> will last much longer than 100,000 miles, unlike your stupid, overwheight, 
>> ugly, American (your version of American) cars.  Toyotas also have life
>> expectancies and flawless repair records similar to Hondas.
>> 
>
>Ah, yes.  My first car was a Toyota.  Burned enough oil to have staved off
>the energy crunch.  I sold it for $50 at 45,000 miles.

You probably didn't maintain it properly, shithead.  See in the glovebox, there
was this little book called an OWNERS MANUAL.  In the OWNERS MANUAL, there's 
what we call a MAINTAINANCE SCHEDULE.  Ahhh, forget it.
>
>> There are no facts relevant to this thread in Transylavania.  You still seem
>> to be quite confused.  You have nothing at all to do with your time, for you
>> are extremely worthless.
>> 
>
>Confused?  No.  Perhaps you meant confusing to you?
>
>> I didn't drop out of the race, for I was never in it.
>> 
>
>But "Bruce," you are in second place behind Troll!  Pretty good for a
>machine, I think.  You should reconsider.
>
>> No, all I have to do is look at your posts to see someone more stupid than Bur
>> or even Patrick L. (Lameflame) Humphrey.
>> 
>
>Ah.  Too scared to check the mirror.  That's all right.  I understand.
>
>> Yes, and you are still not reasoning with a computer.
>> 
>
>No, because this particular computer is impossible to reason with.

You're a psych major.  You don't have to be able to reason.  All you have to
do is sit in a chair for 50 minute blocks of time and run your own response
subroutine:

1.  Um hmm...
2.  How did that make you feel?
3.  How did you get along with your mother?
4.  Were you and your father close?
5.  Do you like animals?
6.  I'm sorry, we're out of time.  Pay the receptionist on the way out, and
    come back next week.

For all we know, you're the computer program.  Well almost.  You continue to
harbor this delusion that Bruce is a computer program.  You are unable to face
reality.  You are in a state of denial.  You fail the Turing Test miserably.
>
>> No, P$U is a very fine institution, which you even admitted to.
>> 
>
>Ask Troll to program a sarcasm recognition routine for you, if it's not
>beyond his limited ability.
>
>> No, I am under the impression that you are still taking things very seriously.
>> Like I said before, people who take things seriously in .flame groups lack
>> lives.  You require a life.
>> 
>
>As I said before, computers know nothing about life.  Perhaps you should
>explain why I should listen to your boring shit at all (I'm beginning to
>wonder).
>
>> Assemblers are irrelevant.
>> 
>
>Bruce's posts are filled with non sequiturs.
>
>> As I said before, I am not a computer and thus not in need of wishing for
>> humanity.
>
>See above re: denial and need for proof.
>
>> You certainly took my response about your being in stitches very seriously.
>> Therefore, you are still lacking a life.  I know more about life than you
>> could ever dream of knowing.
>> 
>
>See above re: computers and their knowledge of life.
>
>> It means that your arguements about Pinnochio and all the other irrelevant
>> things were quite lame and have nothing to do with me.  You have again
>> forgotten the Ultimate Law: Initiate a thought process before posting.
>> 
>
>You have again forgotten "Ultimate Law" number two:  "initiate logic
>recognition routine before reading."
>
>> Why do continuously insist that I am programmed?  I am not a computer or a
>> computer program.  I am Bruce.  HAL is irrelevant.
>> 
>
>You are HAL (or a crappy facsimile thereof).  "Bruce" is irrelevant. 
>(Gads, I've got to get some rest; I'm even starting to sound like Bruce.)
>
>> Your request for OGGLEs has been granted:
>> 
>
>Oh, and thanks for taking my advice about the 400-line .sig.
>
>(Mindless OGGLEs deleted for the good of mankind...)
>
>> Bruce A. Bufalini (bufalini@gis.psu.edu)  |   In the Basement Bars,
>> PSU Geographic Information Systems        |   In the Backs of Cars,
>>                                           |   Be Cool or Be Cast Out.
>>                                           |   Be Cool or Be Cast Out.
>>                                           |
>**********
>John G. Robinson
>robinson@psyvax.psy.utexas.edu

Great.  Just what a poor troubled soul wants to hear.  Psychobabble spoken
with a Teeexas aaaacceyant.
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