HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: FMS, PAX, Relkie-foxholes, FEAR NO EVIL
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 21:13:45 GMT

Richard M. Romanowski (rmr@acsu.buffalo.edu) wrote:

: 	You are strong enough, right now, to blow off your anon-address,
: to post from your regular account.  You are strong enough to tell anybody
: who might be interested that you are a survivor, but you frankly don't
: give a good God damn who knows or doesn't know.  You are strong enough,
: all by yourself.    

Of course!  The human potential movement (for lack of a better term) has been
saying this for many years.  If one lets fear rule them, then they are in
bondage, and have betrayed their natural human birthright.  The natural state
of humans is powerful, and only when one lets illusion become their reality
does their power leak away.  The illusion that poohbear has bought into is that
she is weak, pathetic, a piece of filth.  But in reality, nothing could be
further from the truth.  Underneath the psychological garbage that she has
chosen to accept about herself (for no one can *force* a belief upon you) is
a strong, clear, loving, powerful PoohBear who wants to be let OUT!  And that
is where the conflict comes from, for if poohbear *really* accepted the
illusion, she would be comfortable and happy.  She isn't because deep inside,
she *knows* that there is something better out there for her.

I haven't gone anon, because I don't really *care* who knows that I am a
survivor.  Someone once had threatened to send my "Ed's Abuse" posting to my
postmaster if I didn't acquiesce to their demands.  I laughed at them - told
'em "hey, go for it!".  Wouldn't embarass *me* - and that leads me to the
question of why would *anyone* be embarassed at beign a survivor?  I mean, if
you get into a auto accident and spend time in the hospital, everyone tends
to find out about it - it isn't kept a secret - and sends you flowers, calls
you up to see how you're doing, etc.  It isn't a stigma to be hurt or in pain.
But some have bought into the illusion that if they have been raped or
brutalized that that is something to be ashamed of.  There is no shame in
having been forced into doing something - even if the force being used is
purely psychological.

I have made many mistakes in my life - and many mistakes in dealing with my
fellow survivors.  But one thing I *can* say is "I did the very best I knew
how to do with what I knew and could do then".  I am learning every day - and
to dwell on the past is a waste of time for me.  I am *so* mush stronger and
wiser than I was yesterday, why beat myself up over it?
-- 
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177
1935 will go down in history.  For the first time, a civilized nation has
full gun registration.  Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient,
and the world will follow our lead into the future.  --Adolf Hitler
From: falcao@felix.metaphor.com (Ronnie Falcao)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: "Satanic Ritual Abuse" in the media
Date: 21 Jan 93 09:14:03 GMT
Organization: Metaphor Computer Systems, Mountain View, CA

In article <1993Jan9.204153.2754@icaen.uiowa.edu> dnelson@icaen.uiowa.edu (David Nelson) writes:
>People are afraid to admit (1) that humans are capable of such
>atrocities and (2) that it might happen in their very own hometown.
>Those who are quick to disbelieve ritual abuse survivors are (a)
>sweeping aside the weight of psychological principles, and (b)
>filtering the evidence to support a version of reality that creates
>the least discomfort.

In fact, in hometowns all across the United States, almost
half the infants are ritually abused with their parents'
permission and the full knowledge of the state and the
medical community.  They are abused by having part of their
body cut off without anesthesia to dull the pain and lessen
the trauma.  I'm talking about circumcision, which is so
common that few people consider it abuse.

In the best cases, circumcision is done out of a misguided
notion that it is medically beneficial.  In the worst cases,
it is done to appease an angry "God".  If it were done in
the name of Satan, you can bet it would be called satanic
ritual abuse.  It's not clear how changing the name of
the deity turns the abuse into a cause for public
celebration.

	- Ronnie

falcao@metaphor.com
From: stephen@def.bae.co.uk (Stephen Paynter)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: How much self-control ... ?
Date: 26 Jan 93 13:56:33 GMT
Reply-To: stephen@def.bae.co.uk
Organization: British Aerospace (Dynamics) Ltd

Hi everyone,

	I have noticed that a number of posts recently have been talking about
"failing" and treating yourself badly as a result. This raises an interesting
question: "How much can our will influence our behaviour?". 

	I suspect that we all think that our will, what we decide, is more powerful
than it really is. Within Christianity it is well known that you can try to be
holy and yet still fail - time after time. I think that it is in more than just
the holiness/sin question that will-power fails. The reasons for a given behaviour 
has many more facets than simply the will-component.

	It is my hope that some of you who are abusing yourself, either mentally or
physically, because of some "failure" will find some liberation in the thought that
it was never completely in your will's power to prevent that failure. 

	I'm sure that, what we think about the world and ourselves, and how we feel,
are important factors, along with our decisions, in influencing how we act. 

	We all resent being told to "pull yourself together" and "sort yourself out"
and "heal". None of these things are under the control of our will. What we decide
has some influence, but it may not be enough. So those who are angry with themselves
for failing again, have no need to be angry, as it doesn't reflect a weakness or
wantonness of will. Likewise, the anger itself, is not necessarily, under your control.
So don't be angry about being angry!


	I hope these thoughts help someone to be gentle with themselves.
	
	Peace and strength to all,
	
	
		Stephen

================================================================================
S.E. Paynter, BSc, AMIEE. Applied Research Software Engineer,
British Aerospace Defence Ltd., Dynamics   Email: stephen.paynter@def.bae.co.uk
Division, FPC 450, P.O. Box 5, Filton,     Telephone: (UK) 0272 316108
Bristol, BS12 7QW, United Kingdom.         Fax:       (UK) 0272 318092
From: anon-1280@twwells.com (MelancholyChild)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Starting therapy tomorrow (I hope)
Date: 26 Jan 93 05:19:09 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

anon-1561@twwells.com (Snow with Sun) writes:

>**** Minor spoilers *****  [preparations to cutting]

>Hi.  I'm sorry I haven't replied to email from some
>of you from last week.  I did read it and
>appreciate your sending it, and what you had to
>say.  Thanks. Maybe later I can go back and reply
>when I'm feeling calmer.
>  
>Last Wednesday during my lunch break I made myself
>go over to Student Mental Health and fill out a
>form and arrange an "intake" appointment.  The
>appointment is for tomorrow morning (Monday).  The
>"I hope" in my subject line is both `I hope I keep
>the appointment' and `I hope they give me some
>genuine therapy and not slough me off onto one of
>their other deals.'

>Why * Do * I * Feel * Self-Conscious * And  *
>Almost * Ashamed * About * This ?????

I know what you mean. I had my "intake" appointment last
Thursday and I felt the same way. I was told that there
was a waiting list and that it might be quite a few 
weeks before I could get a therapist, but I guess the
intake worker was a bit worried about what I said, because
she said that she would try to get me in sooner. No lie...
a couple of hours ago I got a call from the woman who'll be my
therapist and I have an appointment for next Monday night!

Also, I have an appointment this Thursday night to see a
psychiatrist. he'll evaluate me for meds, I guess. I don't
want any, but I'm willing to listen to what he has to say.

I'm glad to finally be starting on the road to therapy. I
need it badly.

MelancholyChild



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
anon-admin@twwells.com -- ANON administrator
anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: zbac18@hou.amoco.com (Brian)
Subject: Re: ashley
Reply-To: zbac18@hou.amoco.com
Organization: Amoco
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 16:26:06 GMT

I'll listen too.

Brian
bacameron@amoco.houston.com
From: hal@netcom.com (Hal Wine)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: welcome to fru!
Date: 26 Jan 93 07:58:45 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)

block6694@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
>was sexually abused by my mother.  Is there anyone else who was too?  God, I
Fru -- I'm sorry I missed your post (I'm behind on my reading).
You aren't alone -- I too was abused by my mother.  I've talked to a
number of other folks (both male & female) who were abused by their
mothers, and one experience we've all had is an increased level of
denial that this happens by folks in general.

I'm glad you found asar as folks here *are* supportive & *do* believe!
-- 
Hal Wine
Internet: hal@netcom.com		Compuserve: 72267,3346
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1397@twwells.com (survivor)
Subject: new anon-id test post
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 04:11:40 GMT
X-Email-Accepted: yes
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

Testing, testing 1-2-3 testing 1-2-3 Ha! ha!

ANON-Name: survivor
ANON-Ping: yes
ANON-Mail: yes
ANON-Notify: yes
ANON-Announce: yes



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
anon-admin@twwells.com -- ANON administrator
anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1564@twwells.com (synthesis)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: to darkangel
Date: 24 Jan 93 21:37:08 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes



darkangel writes:

>really really didn't want to
>so ashamed knew everyone would be mad and hurt
>forgot that it wasn't just me i was doing this to
>that was worst of all
>its not just me i cut 
>it was my so and little me and you and you 
>and everyone who ever tried to help me
>because it just feels like i threw it all back and said i'm just not worth it
>you're wasting your time
>and its the hell useless
>so much human wreckage
>and it's just asinine
>because i don't have any reason to do this
>i'm not sick
>i'm not abandoned
>people *care*
>i'm not exactly failing out
>i made it through the semester (thought i wouldn't)
>
>so i guess the real question is why
>i hate who i am
>hate what i've become
>a twisted mess of cutting fear hiding sickness
>is this who i really am?
>
>should just shut up and listen to people with real problems
>
>sorry about all this screwed up stuff i wrote
>
>was supposed to just let everyone know i'm still here
>
>instead feel like i betrayed everyone
>
>i guess all that's left for me to say is how sorry i am..

i'm sorry to quote all that back at you, but it all seemed very important.

darkangel, you are hurting yourself again, and not just by cutting 
being so hard on yourself and rejecting your own pain, that hurts, too
sounds like whatever makes you cut is trying to tell you something
maybe trying to get you to believe in your own pain
and let it count as much as other people's
and be gentle and supportive and healing of it
just as you would were it someone else's
don't worry about betraying others
first you've got to be true to yourself
believe in your own pain,               
so you can tend to it properly and let it heal
people don't just want you to stop cutting, darkangel
they just want you not to hurt
and that's not just the outer hurting
but the inner as well
we know it takes time and strength
and patience
be patient with yourself
until you can believe that you count, too
and that you hurt
and that you can get better   
even if it's slow


>there is still love in the world
>as long as you are here
>darkangel


-synthesis



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
anon-admin@twwells.com -- ANON administrator
anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: HELP!
Date: 26 Jan 1993 23:52:06 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: stein.u.washington.edu

aakin@lonestar.utsa.edu (Ashley T. Akin) writes:

>I'm not sure what to say....All I know, is that I'm HURTING...I'm filling with
>pain and anger inside. SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME! I feel like I'm DYING from all
>of the memories, all of the experiences, all the shit that I've been through..
>I feel like that I'm drowning in my own pain! IS ANYONE THERE?!?!? DOES ANYONE
>GIVE A SHIT?!?!? Someone..please talk to me! I can't stand this anymore! All
>I know is pain...And, something inside tells me that I didn't deserve it...
>Regardless of what others say. I have been molested and abused by my parents,
>raped and beaten by boyfriends....Is there really such a thing as love? Or God?
>I am sooo tired......someone..PLEASE write to me. I'm so confused...and scared
>...and angry....tears are coming out of my eyes as I type this. I don't want
>pity...I just want someone to truly care about me as an individual. Someone
>to listen to what I have to say. Someone who will BELIEVE WHAT I TELL THEM.
>I feel like I'm losing my mind...Help me...Please?

hi ashley.  i'm sorry you're goingthrough all this pain.  i remember that
crisis period in my healing when i was just about ready to give up.  i didn't
have anyone or an asar to reach out to at the time, and it was so hard.  i
don't know how i made it though that.  but i did, and you can too.  you reached
out to us for help, which tells me that some part of you doesn't want to give
up, and wants to have a better life.  hang on to that part of you, nurture it
and let it grow.  no one here wants you to be hurting.

is there love?  well, i believe there is.  i'm pretty sure i know what love is.
(or if i don't, then whatever this thing i have with my girlfriend feels pretty
good anyway).  is there god?  well, you'll have to decide that for yourself.  i
don't think my opinions on god are terribly relevant to anyone else, nor do i
think that it would be appropriate for me to tell you things which might
influence your belief system (which imho *you* should decide for yourself).

we'll listen to you ashley.  we'll believe you because sadly we can understand
where you're coming from.  take care of yourself.
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
From: daveb@harlqn.co.uk (Dave Berry)
Subject: Re: Why I read a.s.a.r. (was: For Non-Abused Skeptics)
Organization: Harlequin Ltd, Cambridge, UK
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 17:17:42 GMT

arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk (Angus H Rodgers) writes:
>Soc.bi has been quite a discovery for me. They're having a party 
>next month, and I'm nerving myself to go. It'll probably be an orgy,

Nah, probably not - we're out of grapes :-)

Seriously, when I throw a party, I hope that the people who come will
feel free to dance, sit and talk, cuddle, drink, not drink, smoke,
not smoke, or whatever they want to do, within reason.  A mix is nice.
All these happened at the last soc.bi party.  Some people went elsewhere
to be more intimate in private.  There was a lot of cuddling, including
some heaps on the floor, but by no means involving everybody.  There was
some play when one person would be tickled (etc.) by many - but only
people who were willing to be.

When I organised the last soc.bi party, I wanted to bring people
together so that they could put faces and personalities to the authors
of the articles they read in soc.bi).  I wanted some of the soc.bi
people to meet some of the folk from the Edinburgh Bisexual Group.
I hoped that it would help to build a sense of community.

Ultimately the success of a party depends on the people who turn up.
If they're friendly and accepting, with a sense of fun, it'll probably
be good.  The last soc.bi party certainly was for the people I've
talked to since (which is most of the people there).  I hadn't known
what to expect beforehand, and was a bit surprised at some of the things
that went on, but it wasn't an orgy. 

Not all was perfect, of course.  One person (ho isn't on the net) hasn't
been invited back because they didn't respect people's "personal space".
I've heard that one person (I don't know who) was intimidated by the
amount of cuddling going on, and felt pressured to join in.  So this time
I'm stressing that people must respect other people's feelings - mainly
so that people know that they don't have to do anything they don't want to.
Conversely, some people would have liked more time to chat.

On the whole I think it ws a friendly, fun party.  That's what I hope
will happen this time.  I hope you (Gus) will come, and I hope that you
and everyone else will enjoy themselves.

Dave.







Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 14:59:26 EST
From: <SCG107@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Lost Email

Lost mail to/from Krikket... gee, this sounds familiar...

Sending mail to you now works (the original message was something to the
effect that the psu mailer had no idea where meltdown.chi.il.us was) and I
get a message saying that the mail has been delivered to you. BUT I haven't
gotten any replies, so something is still wrong (no mail from Krikket since
before the holidays- boo hoo!!!)

Good luck in getting it fixed- I miss talking to you!!!

--
Sarah Goslee                  "Common sense is what tells you that the
scg107@psuvm.psu.edu            world is flat."  -Principia Discordia
From: anon-1349@twwells.com (Mary)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: A book on the effects of testifying in court
Date: 24 Jan 93 19:49:44 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Hi Again - 

I just recieved a pamphlet from the Society for Research in Child Development
listing monographs available from The Univeristy of Chicago Press (Order
Department; 11030 S. Langley Ave.; Chicago, IL 60628).  One of the Mongraphs
listed is the following:

_Testifying in Criminal Court:_
_Emotional Effects of Criminal Court Testimony on Child Sexual Assault Victims_
by G.S. Goodman, E. P. Taub, D. P. H. Jones, P. England, L. K. Port, L. Rudy, 
and L. Prado, with commentaries by J. E. B. Myers and G. B. Milton

the description of the bood reads:

"Increased reports of child sexual abuse are bringing unprecedented numbers of
children into contact with the criminal justice system, raising fears that 
victims will be further harmed in the process.  In this study, the adverse
effects of testifying in court were examined among 218 children.  The results
show how testifying in the traditional manner interferes with children's
ability to answer questions, thus undermining the very purpose of the trial:
discovery of truth.  
     'Has immediate, far-reaching, and positive implications for child abuse
     litigation...'"

This monograph can be ordered using the above address.  It is monograph  #227
(Vol. 57, no. 5), 1992.  ISBN: 0-226-30323-3.

Mary
 



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
anon-admin@twwells.com -- ANON administrator
anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: agape@igc.apc.org (Jean Riseman)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: FMS, PAX, Relkie-foxholes, FEAR NO
Date: 22 Jan 93 23:14:00 GMT
Nf-ID: #R:C16KHE.9vJ@acsu.buffalo.edu:-1572885738:cdp:1519600020:000:653
Nf-From: cdp.UUCP!agape    Jan 22 15:14:00 1993


I'm with you, and it feels good. Lots of people aren't in that 
space and they should be where they feel best.
I'm a ritual abuse survivor & I don't post anon. I tell everybody
I meet and watch what happens. It's a great way to figure
out who not to spend time making friends with!

I got cross-posted without my knowledge to sci.skeptic,
and my full name appeared. Nobody hassled me in any
way. But it is important to realize that once you 
have told a secret you have lost control of who else
will learn your secret.

My words are like a little boat or leaf floating off
into the universe. Once I have launched them, they
are no longer mine.

Jeannie
From: anon-1349@twwells.com (Mary)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: To Rick M.R.
Date: 24 Jan 93 19:49:04 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Hi Rick - welcome back.  I for one enjoy reading your rich, satirical
diatribes.  I enjoy not only your rather (um, shall I say warped??)
sense of humor, but I also enjoy the philosophical/conceptual/
paradigmic tidbits that you throw in.

Mary



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
anon-admin@twwells.com -- ANON administrator
anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1515@twwells.com (Aardvark)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: RE FYI Teachers Courts & Afterwards
Date: 23 Jan 93 07:52:24 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Fletcher sez of the article about the teacher found not-guilty:
>I am not sure what the purpose of this post is, so excuse me if I am
>making unwarrented assumptions.

I read that article and thought it was included so we could all give 
kudos to the school boards that refused to rehire the teachers.  The 
courts are often corrupt.  I'm glad the school boards are trying to 
protect kids.

-Aardvark 



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
anon-admin@twwells.com -- ANON administrator
anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: tmohrle@nyx.cs.du.edu (Taylor Mohrle)
Subject: Re: How do you start an .alt group?
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 93 20:01:41 GMT

In article <1993Jan24.130358.24964@fuug.fi> an2026@anon.penet.fi (TJ) writes:
>I am interested in starting a UseNet equivilent of Sex and Love Addicts
>Anonymous, perhaps alt.sex&love.addiction.recovery . I understand the

If I may suggest you might be better off calling it alt.recovery.additction.
sex&love

Some sites frown on anything with "alt.sex..." in the name.

Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery