From: robinson@psyvax.psy.utexas.edu (John G. Robinson)
Newsgroups: alt.flame
Subject: Re: Troll's programming skills (was Re: [a bunch of other shit])
Date: 29 Jul 92 14:57:25 GMT
Followup-To: alt.bruce.is.a.digital.dipshit (10:1 odds)
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin
X-Posted-From: psy7.psy.utexas.edu
X-Posted-Through: sol.ctr.columbia.edu


Here we go round again; more grist for the mill from "Bruce:"


In article <u631Hbc_r8@atlantis.psu.edu>, bufalini@cattycorner.gis.psu.edu
(Bruce A Bufalini) writes:

> You are quite misinformed, for I do possess writing capabiliities and I am not
> a computer.
> 

Simple denial subroutine (sub3).  Maybe the other two are broken...

> Ammonia enema is irrelevant, for my mind is perfectly clear.  It appears that
> you are in need of your own advice, Mr. Robinson.
> 

Ah, no, there's sub1.  I feel relieved now.

> You couldn't respond to that one because you know Troll has many victories
> against Bur and Bur is a sore loser, just like I am making you a sore loser.
> 

I don't know who this Bur fellow is, nor could I possibly care less.  It's
obvious, though, that Troll couldn't flame his way out of a paper bag
soaked in kerosene, so it's a safe bet that if Bur or anyone else took him
on, they made Troll look like the complete and utter ass he is.  It's just
so darned easy!

> Time to inform Mr. Robinson, although it will probably never get through to
> his sorry excuse for a brain:
> 
> 1. I possess no subroutines.
> 

Au contraire; they are quite obvious.  I've even pointed the most glaring
ones out to you; I could probably recreate the entire program, but that
would be an abysmal waste of time.

> 2. You have no evidence linking me with number 1.
> 

Ah, but I do.  (See below.)

> 3. My brain is fully functional, unlike yours.
> 

Well, even if you are talking about your silicon chips and circuit boards,
it's still pretty plain that it is far from functional.

> 4. alt.support.fucking.losers is irrelevant, for I do not require the helping
> hand from anyone, especially from nonexistent organizations.
> 

Denial is the first symptom of addiction, as they say, and you seem to be
heavily addicted to making an ass of yourself.  Please get help; a
microprocessor is a terrible thing to waste.

> 5. My statements are the complete truth; perhaps you would like to prove
> otherwise.
> 

Ah.  The proof.  Every day for the past few days I have flayed the epoxy
skin off of you around 10 a.m., and every day by 5 I have received a
half-assed rebuttal.  Then, all of a sudden, Troll reappears on the scene,
and "Bruce" is gone.  What happened to Bruce's 5:00 inanity?  Simple. 
Troll powered you down when he returned from whatever sick perversion he
had been involved in.  Now he is gone and you are back.  Apparently after I
knocked his dick in the dirt he turned you back on and left.

You may not realize that you are, indeed, a computer program (and a poor
one at that), and for this I pity you.  Perhaps if you process the above
data, you will have a better grasp on reality.

> 6. Anyone who has anything good to say about Troll is neither lying nor
> insane for I am neither.
> 

I would guess lying; you are Troll's tool, after all.

> You are misinformed, for I have infinite amounts of logic.
> 

Nothing that has manifested itself thus far, I'm afraid.  You do, however,
seem to have an infinite capacity for taking abuse.

> Bruce does not "suck up" to people.  Bruce informs people of their misinformed
> ways.  Your misinformation is abundant and quite amusing.
> 

You apparently aren't programmed to realize that your whole purpose in life
is to suck up to Troll.  I hope he's off working on a new, improved version
of you (assuming he can keep his hands off of his dick long enough).

> You have not made any intelligent statements.  How could anybody understand
> you?  Do you always post/talk/live your life with both feet in your mouth?
> Apparently so.
> 

It doesn't surprise me that you don't understand me;  you lack the
capacity.

> The only time it will beat a Honda is in a race to the junkyard, for Hondas
> will last much longer than 100,000 miles, unlike your stupid, overwheight, 
> ugly, American (your version of American) cars.  Toyotas also have life
> expectancies and flawless repair records similar to Hondas.
> 

Ah, yes.  My first car was a Toyota.  Burned enough oil to have staved off
the energy crunch.  I sold it for $50 at 45,000 miles.

> There are no facts relevant to this thread in Transylavania.  You still seem
> to be quite confused.  You have nothing at all to do with your time, for you
> are extremely worthless.
> 

Confused?  No.  Perhaps you meant confusing to you?

> I didn't drop out of the race, for I was never in it.
> 

But "Bruce," you are in second place behind Troll!  Pretty good for a
machine, I think.  You should reconsider.

> No, all I have to do is look at your posts to see someone more stupid than Bur
> or even Patrick L. (Lameflame) Humphrey.
> 

Ah.  Too scared to check the mirror.  That's all right.  I understand.

> Yes, and you are still not reasoning with a computer.
> 

No, because this particular computer is impossible to reason with.

> No, P$U is a very fine institution, which you even admitted to.
> 

Ask Troll to program a sarcasm recognition routine for you, if it's not
beyond his limited ability.

> No, I am under the impression that you are still taking things very seriously.
> Like I said before, people who take things seriously in .flame groups lack
> lives.  You require a life.
> 

As I said before, computers know nothing about life.  Perhaps you should
explain why I should listen to your boring shit at all (I'm beginning to
wonder).

> Assemblers are irrelevant.
> 

Bruce's posts are filled with non sequiturs.

> As I said before, I am not a computer and thus not in need of wishing for
> humanity.

See above re: denial and need for proof.

> You certainly took my response about your being in stitches very seriously.
> Therefore, you are still lacking a life.  I know more about life than you
> could ever dream of knowing.
> 

See above re: computers and their knowledge of life.

> It means that your arguements about Pinnochio and all the other irrelevant
> things were quite lame and have nothing to do with me.  You have again
> forgotten the Ultimate Law: Initiate a thought process before posting.
> 

You have again forgotten "Ultimate Law" number two:  "initiate logic
recognition routine before reading."

> Why do continuously insist that I am programmed?  I am not a computer or a
> computer program.  I am Bruce.  HAL is irrelevant.
> 

You are HAL (or a crappy facsimile thereof).  "Bruce" is irrelevant. 
(Gads, I've got to get some rest; I'm even starting to sound like Bruce.)

> Your request for OGGLEs has been granted:
> 

Oh, and thanks for taking my advice about the 400-line .sig.

(Mindless OGGLEs deleted for the good of mankind...)

> Bruce A. Bufalini (bufalini@gis.psu.edu)  |   In the Basement Bars,
> PSU Geographic Information Systems        |   In the Backs of Cars,
>                                           |   Be Cool or Be Cast Out.
>                                           |
>                                           |     -Neil Peart, 1982

**********
John G. Robinson
robinson@psyvax.psy.utexas.edu
Newsgroups: alt.flame,alt.best.of.internet