HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: mirror
Date: 13 Oct 92 18:55:54 GMT
Organization: Indiana University


She looked at herself in the mirror, and adjusted the brim of her hat.
She was debating putting on eyeshadow when a hand reached out of the
mirror and flailed, helplessly, at her.  Irritably, she batted it out of
the way, and it retreated back inside the mirror.  But soon it was back,
and then there were more, hands emerging from all over the glass, waving,
grasping, groping blindly for something to grab on to.  She attempted to
push enough of the hands to the sides to see herself in the mirror, but each
time she did, more of them would come slithering out, as the ones pushed to 
the side retreated in frustration.

She noticed then the obscene sensuality of the hands.  Their unthinking 
attempts to grab, to hold, to caress were hypnotic, and the sensation of
their skin against hers was fascinatingly intense.  She moved slightly
closer to the mirror, and was rewarded with the gentle sensations of the
hands against her body, not quite close enough to do anything more than
touch, but enough to feel.  She turned her back to the mirror, and closed
her eyes as the hands caressed her body.

Exhilarating in the sensations, she leaned slightly closer to the mirror,
only to be surprised by one of the hands roughly grabbing her shoulder,
almost knocking her off balance.  She tried to pull away then, but the
hand was persistent, and soon several of the hands had hold of her.
She struggled, but was pulled to the mirror, and then, screaming, 
they pulled her through the mirror, and the room was empty.

The small dog in the corner of the room raised its head, and noticing
nothing amiss, went back to sleep.


-- 
ben                                     fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
 "A tight bunch of bastards who want to win while loving each other,
  if they don't destroy their knees first, or start sleeping with 
  each other's girlfriends." - Rigler, about Indiana Ultimate
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: lstewart@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca (L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058)
Subject: Re: Ramones manicure dwarves lotion
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 20:10:39 GMT

In article <1992Oct11.055718.608@alembic.acs.com> gypsy@alembic.acs.com (drunk in the snow with a gun) writes:
>In article <Bvv9o2.AIJ@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca> lstewart@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca (L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058) writes:
>>The Ramones are the Monty Python of punk rock.
>>They are old, dated and stale.
>>Nostalgia for youthful rebellion is to be pitied.
>>They sucked when I saw them in '79 and they still sucked
>>when I saw them in '89.
>
>of course they suck.  they're SUPPOSED to suck.
>
>obviously, you do not understand the true meaning
>of rock-n-roll.
>
>m
>
>nor have you received many blow jobs, i would guess.
>-- 

Oh Gypsy, oh Gypsy, wipe off your chin. That the Ramones are 
supposed to suck is not the question. Long have they sucked. The
point is that they are no longer interesting. The true meaning of 
rock-n-roll is fucking. The true meaning of rock-n-roll has nought
to do with a pack of geriatric spandex clad computer slags paying
ticket prices to stand about in a stinky room full of acne scarred
Jim Smalls shaking their stretch marked mams in a mockery of slam
whilst a group of disinterested NYC used-to-be geeks go through 
their professional paces yet again on the way to collecting a 
pay check before climbing wearily into the Mercedes and heading 
back to Queens where they won't ever care about you or the rest
of the washed out tarts who traded in their ideals for a new pair
of shoes and a pearl necklace. 

About the blow jobs, babycakes, depends what you mean by many.
I certainly can't receive as many as you can give, what with
recovery time and all. But I did spend a number of years out
and about with various local bands as either vocalist or guitarist
and it is amazing how inventive some young lady listeners can be
with nothing on but a sweat. My fans were generous. 

Go put on your Billy Idol records, get kneeling and snort musk.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.fan.howard-stern,alt.fan.howard-stern.fartman
From: greg@phoenix (greg Nowak)
Subject: Re: HOWARD STERN's HOME ADDRESS, AND CONNIE CHUNG AND MORRY
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Originator: news@nimaster
Reply-To: greg@phoenix (greg Nowak)
Organization: Baguette Research Systems Inc.
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 12:01:34 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.064751.19548@netcom.com>, rdc@netcom (MR. COMMUNIST) writes:


}Howard Stern
}29 Pine Tree Lane
}Old Westbury, NY 11568


Hah. For all the bragging that Howard does about not being a racist
because he grew up in Roosevelt (a majority-Black neighborhood on Long
Island), it does seem that when it comes to acquiring real estate,
his tastes are much more white-bread and upscale. 


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: How long has it been?
Organization: University of Virginia
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 13:52:14 GMT

In article <1992Oct8.233818.5060@wam.umd.edu> sheph@wam.umd.edu (pale blue eyes) writes:
>In article <1992Oct6.134605.16183@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mneeley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Neeley) writes:
>>How long has it been since you were kissed by a member of
>>the opposite sex?
>
>oh, what the heck ....
>
>seven weeks.  exactly.  :'(
>
>but i'll get to re-experience that wonderful expression of love in 23 hours
>and 7 minutes.  :)
>
>(i can't wait until you get home, davie .... )
>
> 
>-- 
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
><>   stephanie j. bartosz      sheph@wam.umd.edu       univ. of maryland  <> 
><>          "the only thing to fear is fearlessness." --r.e.m.            <>  
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

TO WHOMEVER STARTED THIS THREAD-----> if you ever cross post something to 
talk.bizarre AND alt.romance.chat again, ILL KILL YOU.

are you carasso, or just a carasso wanna-be?
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Bones")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Date: 8 Oct 92 16:12:40 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves,misc.misc
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov's message of 8 Oct 92 13:32:10 GMT

In article <Bvt1LM.8nw@news.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
   One of these days I am
   going to go on a rampage and start shooting people who say "filming" when
   they are referring to videotape.

    But it'll have to wait, because you're still busy rubbing out the
people who ask for a `head of cabbage' in the greengrocer's.  Has anyone
ever seen a cabbage with eyes and a nose and ears and hair and a mouth?
Of course not.  IT'S NOT A HEAD AT ALL!!!  And people just DON'T SEEM TO
UNDERSTAND THE DISTINCTION.

    After that, you're going to have to go to work on people who say
they `read' files from a disk (you read with eyes and paper and print,
not mag oxide), people who `fly' in airplanes (do the wings flap up and
down like a bird's?  Of course not.), people who `salute' their superior
offices (``Hey, S.O., how's your health?), and people who `call' the
elevator (SOOOOOEEE!!!).

    Followups to alt.peeves.

--

                And for to se, and eek for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: jon@zeus.med.utah.edu (Jonathan Byrd)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Variant
Date: 16 Oct 92 16:39:23 GMT
Organization: University of Utah

In article <11067@mccolla.ed.ac.uk> sol@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Ana) writes:


   Without coffee, I'm nothing.

please consume some, and then post another article.  thank you.

--
jonathan byrd
jon@apollo.med.utah.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.stupidity
From: matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (Mcinnes B T (Dr))
Subject: Re: TIME HAS INERTIA AND THE PRINCIPLE OF TENDENCY OF MAINTAINING THE
Organization: National University of Singapore
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 03:42:15 GMT

matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (Mcinnes B T (Dr)) writes:
: abian@iastate.edu (Alexander Abian) writes:
: :    I said and repeat that I will accept THE PRINCIPLE: 
: : 
: :          THE  TENDENCY OF MAINTAINING THE STATUS QUO AND
: :                      REACTION TO PROVOCATION
: : 
: :   The striking of a match creates an unpleasant friction for the 
: : chemical at the top of the match and in order to stop that irritation
: : (and maintain the calm status quo) flame is produced.  
: 
: Once I went camping and none of the matches would burst into flame. Now
: I understand that the reason was that the matches were a bunch of
: perverts who enjoyed unpleasant friction.
: Next time I'll take straight matches.
: :                                                 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gypsy@alembic.acs.com (drunk in the snow with a gun)
Subject: Re: Fair is fair: Jordan
Organization: and yer little dog, too
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 06:59:52 GMT

In article <1992Oct10.013512.11299@netcom.com> rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST) writes:
>
>YES gypsy, yes cj, yes all you polictially correct douchebags.
>
>YES all cultures are the same and equally valid.

no, roger, all cultures are different, but ALL are equally
valid.  the actions of SOME members of a culture do not
necessarily represent the beliefs of ALL members of a
culture.  after all, this country produced ted bundy and
jeffrey dahmer and the son of sam, but we are not ALL
serial killers.  we do not ALL rape children, we do not
ALL beat dogs, we do not ALL overdose on crack.

>YES arabic treatment of women is dandy and is in no way
>    confrontational with our views of female equality.

roger, while i feel very strongly that the way arabic
cultures, as well as some others, is wrong, i do not
think that making offensive jokes is going to solve
the problem.  there are numerous constructive things
that can be done about these problems.  obviously you
care a lot about the things that are happening in the
middle east.  why don't you stop whining and DO something?
why don't you GO there and try to educate people?  you
can't change a culture overnight, and you can't do it
by insulting its members.  it will take decades of
concerted effort to change the human rights situation
in these places.  we can't even keep people from 
committing atrocities in our OWN country.  

i hate to tell you this, roger, but genocide is not
a viable option.  you should know that.  if you
don't understand why not, perhaps you should speak to
your rabbi about it.  i've never known a rabbi who
was in favor of wiping out the entire arab race. 

you are a perfect example of this, roger: when people
scream and yell and insult you and threaten you, does
this encourage YOU to change to make yourself more
acceptable to those of differing beliefs?  no; it
makes you all the more determined to do things your
own way.  you would probably object if we killed you
to shut you up.  and as much as i would like to see
you silenced, i do not favor actually KILLING you;
if i did, i would have sent l.a. psychocop to your
house a couple of YEARS ago.  i figure if i argue
long enough and make enough sense, eventually you
might actually learn something.

it could happen.  i saw the soviet union dissolve;
my father swore i wouldn't live to see it.

m
-- 
"...at night they lurk outside the tall barrier staring with curious
 wild eyes into the flat field, feeling cheated." -- Beryl Markham
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: I often dream of LRVs
Date: 7 Oct 92 20:54:23 GMT
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA



The Geeks were barbaric hackers wandering down the Falklands approx.
1000 BC (Before Carasso) when they met the more advanced Asshole
civilization (based in a Crate, also known as the Minnow). The
Assholes taught the Geeks the use of Iron Maiden and there is evidence
that the two peoples lived inside for several centuries until some
unknown circumcisions--femenine, sexploitation, who knows--caused
widespread warfare throughout the Asshole. Arcaneologists have uneaten
cities that, one by one, were attached and destroyed by Geeks (Netcom
and Toy being two of the better known) by about 700 BC.  By the way,
Toy is on the western coast of a Turkey; I've been there.

One big point, though. In most cases (though not all) the dominant
people integrated with the conquered, by intermarrying, trampling, and
generally culturally munging. Your point is taken, however; in those
rare cases when a new people were accepted in pieces, if not overtly
welcome, hostility did eventually break out and that's why I had to
krill them all.


Big Al,
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: sean@stat.tamu.edu (Sean Barrett)
Subject: Re: New Game: Find the Thematic Connection
Summary: Those who don't get "Could be worsee--could be raining."
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 05:35:38 GMT

terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net) writes:
>>(St. Terri: Daniel has orders of magnitude more of bodacious
>>babeness than Keanu.  That's why _A Room with a View_ is one of
>>the best movies ever: it has both Daniel Day-Lewis and Julian
>>Sands in it, and we get to see Julian nekkid.)
>sean, we're going to *buy* you a vcr and rent this movie.

No.

1.  I've seen it already.  I hate seeing movies I've already seen.

2.  It won't do anything for *me*.  I'm positive.

3.  We have to take a stand and boycott these
    exploitation movies, which just arbitrarily,
    unjustifiably, show nudity--just to bring in
    the crowds.  Don't try and tell me how it was
    an important thematic device to demonstrate how
    totally different they were after their experiences
    abroad; this is mere subterfuge--for there was no
    good reason for them having changed so dramatically;
    no, rather I think they had intentionally scripted
    the whole movie in a crass attempt to have some
    justification for the skinny-dipping scene.

buzzard
Besides, there are far more important movies for you to see.
You can be a literate American without ever seeing A Room
With A View, but you can't possibly claim to have cultural
literacy if you've never seen Young Frankenstein.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com (J H Woodyatt)
Subject: Re: BIGNESS
Reply-To: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com
Organization: Abiogenesis 4 Less
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 16:08:23 GMT

Bigness.  In the fifties, bigness was cool, and everybody knew it,
even if nobody wanted it openly discussed.  There were commies under
every bed and pinko symps in every school, church and dime store, and
they were all out to destroy the bigness that every good citizen knew
was absolutely essential to their near limitless supply of new stuff
to buy.

The bigness doesn't exist anymore -- gone the same way the commies
went.  Only a vestigial notion left in the fading minds of the
generation that owned the fifties after buying it on credit built on
the backs of their grandparents in the mineshafts and on the steel
highways of the century before.

Now the bigness has been replaced with the sprawl, and only the new
generation seems to understand.  The sprawl is mean, like the bigness,
but mean in a more basic way.  It feeds on the bigness.  Burning every
last pound of its flesh in its quest to grow into ever larger
economies of diversity.

And if nobody wanted to talk about the bigness in the fifties --
they're horrified by the sprawl today.  And for good reason.  The
bigness made good men and women crawl on their bellies for food, but
the sprawl -- heh heh, the sprawl makes them crawl for the *chance* of
getting food.  And the sprawl tells no rags to riches stories.  It's
invisible hand separates the people with price tags from the people
with hazard markings.  No pricetag?  Then, you're Untouchable.  No
love, no hate, no greed -- just grinding mass mind chaos.

The old men with the wisdom to see that the days of the bigness are
history still pine for the ease and comfort of Standard Operating
Procedure knowing that, for better or worse, the sprawl is closed to
them.  It is the sandbox of the new generation -- a generation as
alien to them as the sprawl itself.  The rules the old men learned in
the forties and fifties have changed, and the new rules aren't even
written on the same medium, let alone in the same language.

The bigness let us all down when it succumbed to the sprawl, and the
sprawl isn't making any promises.  Time to make your peace and start
carving out a slice now while there's still a piece of the old bigness
left.  By the time you read this, there may only be scraps available.


-- 
J H Woodyatt (a.k.a. Dr. Strychnine)
Space Systems/Loral

``Men who have no time to read should devote their time to reading
books of quotations.''
                                              -- Winston Churchill
From: rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: I LOVE AMERIKA!!!
Date: 9 Oct 92 17:07:02 GMT
Organization: Soviet Socialist Society, Incorp.


There is a very bizarre case currently being argued before the Supreme
Court.  A man, who is a drug dealer, has been convicted of two
execution-style killings of policemen.  He was awaiting execution in
Texas when evidence was discovered that he was innocent.  The theory
is that his brother (also a drug dealer) was the real murderer.  The
brother is now dead of a gunshot wound as part of one of his business
transactions.  The brother's son (now 20) is willing to testify that
when he was 12 he was with his father when his father killed the two
policemen.  

This week both sides made their case in front of the Supreme Court,
and the justices gave both sides a hard time.  The DA is arguing that
the innocence of the man is IRRELEVANT because the man got a fair
trial, and that is all the constitution guarantees.

-- 

IVAN IQTOVITCH,		"WORKERS UNITE  OVER IMPERIALIST PIG"
COMMUNIST PARTY,		--IVATOLI STEPHANIVIC,
MUSMAK DEVISION			  BRAVE MARTAR
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: k206027@smog.DKRZ-Hamburg.DE (Bakayaroo Banzai)
Subject: Teenage Lager Louts Ate the MC5
Organization: Return to Nuclear Values
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 92 10:16:55 GMT


Do you find yourself:

Having less and less time to spend with GI Joe collection?

Looking to Morrissey for moral guidance?           

Touching yourself while fantasizing about Barbara Bush pouring Pennzoil over
Sinead O'Conner's head?

Contemplating buying "Weird Al" CD?

Taking the Libertarian Party Platform seriously?

Questioning moral values espoused on "Murphy Brown" (veer too far from
high standards set by Morrissey)?

Actually looking forward to lunch at "Hardees"?


Me too....

Bakayaroo Banzai
Second Cousin Twice-removed of the Revolution,
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Rictus Hep confesses an inadequacy
Date: 12 Oct 92 12:55:59 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


In article <BvzGos.82p@news.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov
(Scott Dorsey) writes:

#  The UK?  Isn't that a small island off the coast of Ireland?


No, that's Britain.  The U.K. includes a bit of Ireland. 

-- Ken "it isn't England, either" Johnson


-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Comments?
Date: 11 Oct 92 17:35:21 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <1b33f8INN939@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka) writes:
> 
> 
> 
>   Any comments? ? ?
> 

Never mind that. Do you ....?

Jason

> 
> 
> -- 
> =======================
> "Endeavor to persevere"
> =======================
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: another talk.bizarre gif
Date: 12 Oct 1992 18:05:57 GMT
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
NNTP-Posting-Host: eno.wpd.sgi.com

---
gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) writes:
|Great!  Now you can post the driver's license photo I sent you for the
|SGI faces database!

I preferred the one he'd used the ripple filter on, but
he preferred the unwobbly one.

I made an animation of bubbles roiling on my face which is
also nice.  I'll do the same for your face if you like.  
What t.b needs is a QT movie trend.

---
c j silverio
but I won't start it
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kohli (Mr. Bad Judgment)
Subject: smartass machine
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Reply-To: kohli@aslmr.med.ge.com (Mr. Bad Judgment)
Organization: Cheesemaster International, and Associates
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 21:58:38 GMT


171% cd $HMOE
HMOE: Undyfine veritable
172% 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST)
Subject: MORRISSEY VS GOOLEY
Organization: Soviet Socialist Society, Incorp.
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 21:08:44 GMT


MORRISSEY		GOOLEY

celibate		celibate
millionaire		answers phones at uswest
weird haircut		greasey hair
swarmed by men and 	swarmed by researchers
   women
not on the net		has 2 newsgroups



roger, lemon coke

-- 

IVAN IQTOVITCH,		"WORKERS UNITE  OVER IMPERIALIST PIG"
COMMUNIST PARTY,		--IVATOLI STEPHANIVIC,
MUSMAK DEVISION			  BRAVE MARTAR
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST)
Subject: SSC
Organization: Soviet Socialist Society, Incorp.
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 00:56:51 GMT


At work for the last week I've tortured my coworkers in the adjacent
offices with my collection of Adam Ant CD's.

roger, disgruntaled employee


-- 

IVAN IQTOVITCH,		"WORKERS UNITE  OVER IMPERIALIST PIG"
COMMUNIST PARTY,		--IVATOLI STEPHANIVIC,
MUSMAK DEVISION			  BRAVE MARTAR
From: inspecti@ux7.lbl.gov ()
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Rictus Hep grumbles about the good old days
Date: 12 Oct 1992 17:07:21 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory
Reply-To: inspecti@ux7.lbl.gov ()
NNTP-Posting-Host: ux7.lbl.gov

In article <1992Oct9.155804.2040@nmsu.edu> sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA) writes:
>
>Oldbies and the great old days of usenet...
>
>Reminds me of the grizzled jazz guys who sit around playing songs
>out of their fake book, mooning about charlie parker
>
>Like the same, they recycle the same old standards in some variant
>and call it art.
>
>. . . course I do own a fake book


i don't own a fake book.

i own a real book.

then, it could be a fake real book.

i haven't tried to open it - the covers could be all on piece, the 
pages plywood painted to look like pages.  the whole thing could be 
a cube.  or a box.

but

that's what books are.  boxes of thoughts.

inspecti
TELL me no one has said that before
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Chicken and that's why I had to kill them all
Date: 7 Oct 92 14:58:44 GMT
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA



   Yesterday I read Tom Fawcett's post to rec.food.veg about how
people probably wouldn't eat chicken if they had to kill their own and
that's why I had to kill them all. I figured he was probably correct
and that's why I had to kill them all.  I went home and, being tired
of Lean Cuisine[TM] vegatable lasagna, cut up a chicken and made
chicken cacciatore and that's why I had to kill them all. I got to
thinking that it's not the kiling the chicken that's so bad, it's
plucking the feathers out afterwards and that's why I had to kill them
all. Not having a table, I sat on the couch and ate my chicken as I
watched CNN Headline News[TM] in the process spilling some of the
sauce on my shirt, which was forseen, but was allowed to happen anyway
and that's why I had to kill them all. I served it on brown rice which
made it all ok and that's why I had to kill them all. It was good but
needed a touch more oregano and that's why I had to kill them all.