From: jose@csd.uwo.ca (Jose Thekkumthala)
Subject: --Mystery of the Missing Axe-- by Jose
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Western Ontario, London
Distribution: alt.culture.kerala
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 14:31:35 GMT


   +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   +                                           +         
   +      THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING AXE       +         
   +                                           +
   +             by  Jose                      + 
   +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   

If ParasuRaman did not stand on the Western Ghats and throw his
famous axe into the Arabian Sea, all we ack-writers would be 
swimming in the Arabian Sea today -- not as human beings, but as fish.

As we know, ParasuRaman raised land from the sea thereby creating
Kerala. Folks, story does not end there! 

Famous historians from History Department of the Vaynad University 
along with anthropologists from the University of Sahara Desert 
decided to investigate this historical landmark further. They went 
to two locations of the coastal Kerala -- Kovalam Beach and 
Cherthala Beach -- and dived to the bottom of the Arabian Sea 
in search of the famous axe. 

Now, don't forget that the axe was never spotted after ParasuRaman 
threw it over the sea. Its location remained a mystery.
At long last, Vaynad historians decided to take some solid steps 
in unraveling this intriguing mystery. 

These dedicated historians had earlier searched for the axe far and wide,
including the Museum of Natural History in New York City, but their
effort was of no avail, except one of them got mugged in the New York 
subway. 

At this point in the narration of this historical event, I have to 
reluctantly take a digression. This is to narrate the interesting
episode of the subway mugging of our Vaynad historian. It seems, 
gathering from the accounts in the New York Times, that this mugger
was a kind-hearted person. He did not hurt our historian friend.
However, he was disappointed in getting only Indian Rupees from our 
poor friend; not a single U.S. (stands for Uncle Sam) dollar! It 
seems that he promptly returned all those inflated rupees. But then,
that is not the end of the episode! Our poor researcher later on
discovered that he was missing some important documents on the
ancient Kerala History! Putting all the facts together, anthropologist 
colleague from Sahara Desert University concluded that the
mugger was none other than an educated Malayalee!! Who else
would be interested in the ancient Kerala history?

(King James, I bet you are not reading this! If you are, did you 
recently step out of your palace in the upstate NewYork and go 
to Manhatten? Did you board subway "A" going to the Museum of 
Natural History in upper Manhatten? Please return those 
important documents to Vaynad University or at least 
post them in alt.culture.vaynad).

Now, back to our story. 

Recent findings by our hard-working historians remade history, as 
you probably read in the latest edition of The Illustrated Weekly
of Vaynad. I quote the following excerpts from the said weekly:

    ------------------------- CUT HERE --------------------------
    
              From " The Illustrated Weekly of Vaynad"
    
    Historians from  Vaynad  University recently unraveled the 
    mystery surrounding the missing  axe.  The axe, purportedly
    still lying in the seabed off the Kerala coast, was nowhere
    to be found  when they  recently dived to the bottom of the 
    sea. Instead, they found evidence to prove that the axe was 
    bounced off to another destination further downstream. This
    could  be  caused  only  by  a  supernatural force, thereby 
    reinforcing  the belief  that it was actually thrown by God 
    himself. The fact that  ParasuRaman  is one of the avathars
    of MahaVishnu conclusively proved that he is the person who
    did  the  historic  throwing.  The said  historians in fact 
    discovered the axe downstream, retrieved it from the seabed 
    and have  preserved it in  the "Museum of Naxalite Studies" 
    of  Kerala  University.  It is not  clear why  they decided 
    to keep the axe in  that museum.  The  speculation is  that 
    a  potential  future  Naxalite  would  want  to  reuse  the 
    historic axe.
    
    ------------------------- CUT HERE --------------------------
    
I was quite intrigued by this report as many of you obviously are.
The fact that there was no apparent explanation on what happened to
the land between the axe's first landing and the second landing 
aroused my curiosity even further. How come there is no land beyond
the coastal Kerala? After all, the axe is supposed to raise land from 
the part of the sea it flew over. If, in fact, there was some sort of
a land created by the second lap of the axe, whatever happened to it?
Questions, questions!

Mystified though I was with this set of affairs, I did not give 
up my plan to investigate this further. I discussed this concern of
mine in detail with a Vaynad researcher, but came up with no 
speculation, leave alone a plausible explanation.

I went to the Mother of all investigators, none other than Sherlock 
Holmes himself. It was a chilly morning in No.221B Baker street in
London of the good old England. Mrs. Hudson ushered me in. Holmes 
was relaxing with a cigar. Both him and Dr.Watson were positioned
on both sides of the fire.

They listened to my account of the incidents with utmost attention.
Holmes did not take his eyes off the fire while I was doing the 
narration. He seemingly did not know when I finished with my narration, 
for he kept on sitting there staring at the fire for a long, long time.
But a glimmer that emanated from his eyes revealed that he had a 
solution or at least a way to find the solution.

This was the time when Holmes had just solved a mystery involving the
aborigines in the Andaman islands. So naturally, he was interested 
in listening to my account, considering the proximity of Kerala
to the said island. He already had a vast collection of books on Kerala
history. I gave him the said issue of the Vaynad weekly which I had
dutifully carried with me. He asked me to meet him at his residence 
exactly one week later.

What he had to tell me next week was as melodramatic as it was 
interesting. I was proud to be the first Keralite to listen to his
account of what happened on that historic day when ParasuRaman 
threw his axe from the Western Ghats. And I am happy to share that
information with my dear ack-readers. 

Here is a gist of his surmise on the entire set of events that
marked the beginning of Kerala:

Sherlock Holmes: ParasuRaman is the father of all Naxalites, or
         should I say mother of all Naxalites in you-know-who's
         language. He chopped off the sea setting an example to the 
         present-day Naxalites who are dutifully imitating their
         leader by chopping off the human heads. The strong link 
         between the two would explain why there is a preponderance 
         of Naxalites in Kerala.
   
He continued:

Holmes: Now the question of the missing land. My investigation reveals
        that there was indeed a land beyond the current Kerala coast
        and the final destination of the axe. This land was in the 
        form of a huge rocky boulder. It was nothing but an eyesore.
        It was totally out of place, considering the supernatural 
        beauty of Kerala. It just did not belong near the Western Ghats!
        ParasuRaman quickly disposed of the boulder. He leased a 
        jumbo-jet from the Afghanisthan Airlines and transported the
        gigantic boulder to an area southwest of the great Midwest
        of the United States of America. With the help of the native 
        Indians there, he was able to position that boulder in Colorado
        and named that location "Boulder",appropriately enough.
        Well, the great Rocky Mountains lost their beauty forever, 
        but then that was not ParasuRaman's problem. He wanted to 
        preserve the beauty of the Western Ghats more than anything else.
        
I was curious to know how he came to this amazing discovery and wanted
to know the source of his information, if any. I wanted to know if this
narration was purely a figment of his imagination.

Holmes: Far from it, my dear lad, far from it! There are three contributing 
	   factors that prove this theory beyond a shadow of doubt. The fact 
	   that there is a huge dip in the seabed near the Kerala coast 
	   revealed the presence of a boulder structure that was lying there 
	   once upon a time. This discovery solved the first piece of the 
	   puzzle. There remained two other puzzles. 
	   
He refilled his cigar and sent a puff of smoke towards Dr. Watson. The good
doctor had earlier advised the investigator that cigar smoking was bad for
his health, but he would have nothing of that advice. Once relaxed, he 
continued.

Holmes: The second puzzle centred around the possibility of ParasuRaman
        having rented a jumbo-jet from the Afghan Airlines. I sent Dr. Watson 
        to check the database of the said airlines to see if they had 
        any dealings with a certain ParasuRaman around the time Kerala 
        was formed. His findings, unfortunately, were discouraging. 
        There was no record of that in their database.  This was a set-back.
        But you know, my techniques. I never give up. On my advice, Dr. Watson
        went to the Kabul public library and checked "Kabul Times" 
        newspaper dating back to Kerala's origin. Sure enough, there was 
        an interesting accord described therein on how the airlines first 
        refused to lease the plane, but retraced their step upon hearing about 
        his dangerous weapon. He was able to rent the plane after all. 
        
This lucid description had all the makings of a detective story, as it should
naturally be. Both me and Dr.Watson were listening intensely to the famous
detective. Mrs. Hudson came in and refilled the cups with the famous English
Tea. We sipped the rejuvenating juice. The chain-smoker continued:

Holmes: Now, we come to the most important piece of the puzzle. If that 
        puzzle could not be solved, then all the efforts we put in 
        together would have been futile. My reputation would have been at 
        stake. Sir Arthur Conan the Barbarian Doyle would not have
        written about me anymore if I failed this third important test.
        The question is how to prove that ParasuRaman indeed came to
        Colorado. To prove this was almost a superhuman task. I wanted 
        to conduct the investigation myself. Therefore I flew to Colorado
        by British Airways. My mission was to prove the impossible.
        I talked to the chief of Indians in Colorado, and, as good-luck
        would have it, there certainly was evidence proving the bondage
        between ParasuRaman and the native Indians. There is reference
        to him in their folklore. There is an account of an Eastern God
        having come to their land and having drastically changed their 
        landscape. Their mythology says that that God came flying like
        an eagle, an obvious reference to the Afghan Airlines.
	
I was so deeply absorbed in this extraordinarily interesting piece of
narration that I went to a trance. Dr. Watson had to come and shake me
awake from my trance.

He also mentioned to me that outside the National Airport in Boulder
ParasuRaman's footsteps are still imprinted on the ground. These 
imprints perfectly match the imprints he left on the western
Ghats, an additional proof that ParasuRaman indeed came to 
Colorado. The native Indians have preserved those imprints outside
the airport and worship them on all full-moon nights.

Njan and Icarus, I hear that you both live in Boulder. Is there any truth 
in this story? Is Boulder too ugly-looking to stay in the Indian
subcontinent? Considering that Boulder is the twin-sister of Kerala,
is there anything resembling Kerala in Boulder? At least, is the weather 
as hot as it is in Kerala? Is that why the cool religion 
is embraced there  -- to offset the heatwaves? Is Icarus the promised 
AntiChrist preparing us for the impending ice age
that is probably characteristic of the KaliYuga that we are in?

Answers, answers!!

============================================================================
       From My Ivory Tower in the Basement,

	 jose                                          email: jose@csd.uwo.ca
                                                    Dept. of Computer Science
                                                    Univ. of Western Ontario
                                                    CANADA
============================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.culture.kerala