HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ssmith@xocolatl.com (Shannon Smith)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: baby's last name?
Date: 22 Jul 92 04:47:29 GMT
Organization: Amethyst Systems

efink@unlinfo.unl.edu (evelyn fink) writes:

> Has anyone had a difficult time deciding which of the parent's two 
> last names the baby is going to use?   For ideological reasons I feel 
> that the baby shouldn't necessarily have the paternal last name.  My 
> spouse, the father, actually agrees and is by all accounts perfectly 
> 
> Neither of us is exactly happy at the thought of a hyphenated name for
> baby when each of us retains our own.   

My kids have their father's name, because we decided on the coin toss
principle--if a boy, dad's name, & vice-versa.  We had a boy.  When
#2 came along I used her dad's name anyway, because it felt more
comfortable to have the kids have the same last name, whichever it
was.

Ideologically, I would have preferred my last name, but really, does
the world need another Smith? :-)

My unmarried housemates' kids have her last name, with his last name
being one of the middle ones.  His name is easy to make bad jokes
with.

---
Shannon Smith                     ssmith@xocolatl.com
From: ephraim@think.com (Ephraim Vishniac)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: God's Family Values
Date: 22 Jul 1992 19:43:48 GMT
Organization: Thinking Machines Corporation, Cambridge MA, USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: charon.think.com

In article <1992Jul22.175738.3968@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> dhanson@nyx.cs.du.edu (David L. Hanson) writes:
>Now that we have seen what man has to say about children (re: Hillary
>Clinton - Family Values), let's see some of what God has to say:

 <followed with quotations from the Old and New Testaments, exhorting
  children to be obedient, and parents to be strict>

>I will not answer flames.

That's a good policy (not answering flames, I mean). I hope, though,
that you'll answer this sincere question:

How does adherence to this philosophy help the children of abusive or
otherwise incompetent parents? 

-- 
Ephraim Vishniac    ephraim@think.com   ThinkingCorp@applelink.apple.com
 Thinking Machines Corporation / 245 First Street / Cambridge, MA 02142
        One of the flaws in the anarchic bopper society was
        the ease with which such crazed rumors could spread.
From: miki@aftac1.llnl.gov (R. Miki Moore 423-9712)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Bradley Classes
Date: 27 Jul 92 16:15:52 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory
Originator: miki@aftac1.llnl.gov


Reid in article <92206.35249.L638615@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM>
summarizes the differences between bradley and lamaze methods
with the statement:

>Many of the "Bradley moms" that we've met have used 
>Lamaze previously and found it inadequate.  I don't 
>know if there's a similar phenomenon in the opposite 
>direction.

i had a better experience after lamaze training than
bradley. my first birth was with bradley training, my second
with lamaze. the bradley training proved to be inadequate
to deal with a very difficult first birth. it could have
been the instructor. i have talked with others who loved
bradley and their instructors seemed to give them more
"tools to use". i had no way of dealing with the
long and excrutiating labor pains of a posterior facing 
baby. the lamaze training seems to give me more options
to use during labor.

-- 
Miki Moore
Lawrence Livermore National Labs
All opinions are those of the author only
miki@aftac1.llnl.gov
-- 
Miki Moore
Lawrence Livermore National Labs
All opinions are those of the author only
miki@aftac1.llnl.gov
From: donna@wyse.wyse.com (Donna Diloreto x2231 dept302)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Death of a 2 yr old
Date: 23 Jul 92 21:30:35 GMT
Distribution: misc.kids
Organization: Wyse Technology, San Jose

ago.  They have finally diagnosed the cause -- a virus in the heart.  Her
symptoms were similar to a heart attack, but they could not find anything
wrong with her heart until now.  Has anyone heard of this before?  What
is it caused by?
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 09:43:52 EDT
From: Chris Himes <CLH7@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: how long to feel back normal after pregnancy?

In article <22612@oasys.dt.navy.mil>, dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Diane
Segelhorst) says:
>
>is broken at 3 am would feel the same.  And now for a little bragging
>- I'm down to 4 pounds BELOW my prepregnancy weight, after five weeks!
>Breastfeeding is a great way to diet!
>

I'd like to add my recommendation for the "breastfeeding" diet.  I also
lost about 5 lbs below my prepregnancy weight while nursing.  Now that
Doug is weaned, I've gained a couple back and am probably about my normal
weight.

I'm not sure what the original poster meant about feeling "normal", but
I was surprised at how quickly I recovered.  After a few weeks, my body
was doing fine, stitches healed, etc.  It took a few months to catch up
on the sleep part, and I find I go to bed earlier now--both because I'm
just more active (chasing a baby is work!) and because we regularly rise
at 6 AM (even on weekends :-( ).  But now, ten months after giving birth,
it all seems far away...I think it's true what they say about forgetting
the pain of labor, I KNOW it HURT, but I can't really remember that part.
What I find coming back now and then is the heart swelling feeling the
first moment I touched my son--it still makes my eyes water.

Chris Himes

Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: M16585@mwvm.mitre.org
Subject: Re; Perms, dyes, and pregnancy???
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, McLean VA 22102
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 17:19:02 GMT

I'm not an expert or anything, but I just recently heard on a morning talk
show that there is some*very controversial* evidence to sugggest that dyes
are not as safe as we think.
 
Some researchers(I don't recall who for those of you who remember these things)
did a study that indicates users of dark hair dyes, that use them for a
*long* time(unspecified) ran a higher risk of developing some form of cancer
Again I don't recall which one---as a side, I don't dye my hair, that's why
the details are sketchy.
 
They did say that using the temporary dyes does not increase your chances of
getting cancer, only the perm long term use and only the dark color dyes.
 
I  can't imagine using any of them during pregnancy, but I'm a little fanatical
about putting foreign things on myself or in myself. (please don't flame me,
I don't preach and I don't judge--it's all cool with me, I just don't *do*)
 
Anyway, in response to the person who asked in people still did those
'dangerous' things---yes! And some people smoke all the way through pregnancy
and some people drink all the way, and some people don't eat nutriously, and
some people don't know any better.  That's why we all talk about it---to
tell all those people who haven't heard yet. Hopefully, we will all learn
something useful---I certainly have, never heard about the bottle problems
on storing milk before---& I bought several pregnancy books, attended classes,
and asked everyone questions.
 
Ellie
Living, Laughing, & Learning more everyday
From: RABINOWITZ@bear.com (Ari Rabinowitz)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Why Is Peeing Yucky?
Date: 31 Jul 92 19:33:05 GMT
Organization: Bear Stearns & Co.
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.20

In <5794@grus.cs.nps.navy.mil> shimeall@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil writes:

> So the rule of choice is "wash your hands after you go".

This thread reminds me of the old medical school joke.

Two new interns, from rival medical schools, had been competing all day.
Towards the end of the day they find themselves standing next to each
other at the urinals.  The first one finishes and starts to leave the
bathroom.

The second one says (in a loud, haughty voice): In our medical school we
were taught to wash our hands after we urinate.

The first replies (in an equally loud voice):  Well, in our medical
school we were taught to not piss on our hands.



Ari Rabinowitz                  rabinowitz@bear.com for VMS and personal mail
WorkStation Administrator	ari@bear.com for sun/HP Un*x mail
Bear Stearns
From: judyd@aspen.CNA.TEK.COM (Judy E. Drake)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: RE: Babys last name/Cute things they say (23 mo)
Date: 21 Jul 92 15:19:37 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Redmond,  OR.

In article <1992Jul21.122539.26210@linus.mitre.org> kvt@willow.mitre.org writes:
>
>When asked her father's name: "Bill Tavenner"
>When asked her mother's name: "Kathy Tavenner"
>When asked her name: "Mandy Lynn Tavenner"
>Shaking her head as in disbelief: "Too many Tavenners"

I had this conversation with my three-year-old a while ago:

Me:      "What's your name?"
Jordan:  "Jordan O'Neill Hill"
Me:      "What's my name?"
Jordan:  "Mommy O'Neill Hill"
Me:      "What does Jordan start with?"
Jordan:  "J"
Me:      "Judy starts with J too"
Jordan:  "No, Judy starts with M!"
Me:      "No, Judy starts with J like Jordan"
Jordan:  "NO! Judy starts with MOMMY!"

Judy Drake

We have a store here in Oregon called "Fred Meyer."  Jordan looked
at the sign one day and said "FRED MOMMY!"  Ever since then we call
the store "Fred Mommy."
From: bweiss@cs.arizona.edu (Beth Weiss)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Use of drugs during labor (% wise)
Date: 28 Jul 92 17:13:32 GMT
Organization: U of Arizona CS Dept, Tucson

sue@ariel.its.unimelb.EDU.AU (Sue McPherson) writes:
>I think this is the important point. Mom gets what mom wants. But, some of
>the stories I've heard seem to indicate that doctors/nurses are "pushing"
>certain medications (such as epidurals).

When I checked into the hospital to be induced, an anesthesiologist
came to talk to me about epidurals.  Since I arrived just before shift
change, I got visited twice, actually.  Both of them really stessed
how they could "take the pain away", and make me "comfortable".  I
didn't want an epidural (I actually wanted a drug-free birth--I didn't
have one) in any case, and it turned out that it wasn't an option
medically.  When the anesthesiologists reviewed my medical history and
discovered an epidural was contraindicated, they kept saying they
wouldn't be able to do much to make me comfortable--they didn't know
anything at all about medication besides epidurals, spinal blocks, and
general anesthesia.  

I really did feel they were "pushing" an epidural, although I don't
know the epidural rate for the hospital.  Their c-section rate is the
lowest in Tucson, though (but still fairly high 17% maybe?).

>These are the kind of questions you really have to have settled beforehand.
>And our childbirth instructor said if you have decided absolutely for a
>no drugs birth, you're crazy. This woman has had 2 no drugs births, but
>she knows that sometimes it's what the mother needs and no one should stand
>in her way, including herself.

Our childbirth instructor was our doula, and was with us throughout my
labor.  She knew that I wanted a drug-free birth (and has had 3
herself, as well as two c-sections, at least one of which was with
general), but she warned me that with an induced labor I might need
something for the pain, and not to get all wrapped up in the idea of a
drug-free birth.  As it turned out, she was absolutely right, and I
_needed_ something to help me relax between contractions (which were 2
minutes apart for 11 hours).  

>Sounds like you are setting yourself up for dis-
>appointment if you say "absolutely, no way, no how."

This point hit home for me.  Recognizing going in that an induced
labor could be rougher than a spontaneous labor, and knowing that my
primary goal was to bring a healthy baby home from the hospital really
helped me not get hung up on needing medication.  My husband was very
supportive of my decision to ask for pain relief, once he recognized
that I felt I needed it.
--
--Beth Weiss
bweiss@cs.arizona.edu
From: pburch@roc.mbcr.bcm.tmc.edu (Paula Burch)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Stupid opinions (was Re: birth announcement (very late)
Date: 30 Jul 1992 16:31:18 GMT
Reply-To: pburch@bcm.tmc.edu (Paula Burch)
Originator: pburch@roc.mbcr.bcm.tmc.edu


In article <1992Jul29.124120.13743@pdn.paradyne.com>, ambrose@paradyne.com (Steve 
Ambrose) writes:

(in response to a nice birth announcement for a child with a hyphenated name)

|> If your daughter get married to a guy named, say Joe Smith, will her daughters
|> name be "<first-name> <middle-name> Smith-Linden-Chirlian"?  And when her
|> granddaughter gets married, will her name be, for instance, "<first> <middle>
|> Johnson-Smith-Linden-Chirlian"?  This whole business of giving a kid a dashed
|> name is ridiculous.  It is okay, IMHO, for a woman who gets married to have a
|> dashed name, but why pass that burden on to an innocent child.

This is one of the most egregious examples I've seen of a stranger thinking 
he knows better than the parents do how to raise their child.

What business of his is this child's name? Why does he care so much? The 
only reason I can think of is sexism--his feeling that a woman doesn't 
deserve to have her child named after her, too.

(My child's name isn't hyphenated, but it might have been if my husband's
name and mine did not make a particularly unfortunate combination. :-)

Paula Burch
pburch@bcm.tmc.edu
From: missy@ntmtv.bnr.ca (Missy Iaquinto)
Subject: Re: Musical Tapes For babies/toddlers
Organization: Northern Telecom Inc, Mountain View, CA
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 19:03:52 GMT

In article <Brw6K8.DpL@acsu.buffalo.edu>, birgenom@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (T.B. Shows/ Maureen Sion) writes:

|> I would love to hear what tapes have been a REALLY
|> BIG hit and what tapes are barely used.  (so I can avoid buying
|> the barely used tapes :>)

My daughter always LOVED any and all Raffi tapes (so do I) and they
are by far her favorites.  There are more, but these are the tapes we
have:

	Singable Songs For The Very Young
	More Singable Songs (or something like that)
	Baby Beluga
	Can't remember the name, but it's his Christmas album

Her favorite songs are "Wheels on the Bus" and "Five Little Ducks"
But she knows the words to all the others, too!

Missy Iaquinto
	
	
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: karenw@tekig1.PEN.TEK.COM (Karen A Walker)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Having children close together-happy stories wanted
Date: 22 Jul 92 17:24:10 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Beaverton,  OR.


I grew up in a family with 4 children, all pretty closely spaced.
I am the third of the four.  My sister (the oldest) is 1 year and
3 months older than my brother.  That brother is 1 year and 11 days
older than me.  My younger brother came along 2 years and 3 months
after me (I guess my mom decided to take a break :-).

I can actually remember my mother explaining to me about the new
baby that would be arriving.  It must have made quite an impression
on me and I obviously understood what she was talking about because
I distinctly remember her explaining to me about the baby that was
inside her (I can remember which bedroom my parents were using at
the time and have verified with my mom that I got it right - we
traded bedrooms every year or so when I was young).

I guess I looked forward to my brother being born because he and I
were very close up until he entered 6th grade and I entered 8th 
grade after moving and we ended up in different schools.  In fact,
I think I spoiled the kid (I was always letting him have part of my
allowance to buy things he wanted).

Growing up, there were plenty of battles between siblings (like my
brothers chasing each other through the house claiming that one was
going to kill the other).  But after all of this, it turns out that
we are all very close.  My two brothers are each other's best friend
now and plan family vacations together.  My older brother and I have
been extremely close ever since the day he left to go into the service
(he drew #2 during the last draft lottery and decided to enlist).  I
guess it hit me then that he was leaving.  

By the way, I guess you could say that all four of the kids in my
family have been successful in life.  My parents never went to college
but they emphasized the value of education.  As a result, my sister
has a PhD in metallurgy, my older brother has his Professional Engineer's
license (mech. eng.), I am just completing my M.S. in engineering
management (about two weeks away - yeah!), and my younger brother
(who never went to college) is the General Manager of a very successful
company (and he makes more $$ than any of the rest of us!).

When it comes to close spacing between kids, I think parents just need
to consider how much stress they can handle at one time and how good
their parenting skills are.  I'm actually impressed with my parents -
both grew up in single parent families (due to death of the opposite
sex parent in both cases which occurred when my dad was 3 and my mom
was 2).  I don't know where they figured out how to raise kids (they
didn't really have any good role models) but it looks like they did
just fine.  I think part of it was due to the fact that they did
love each of us unconditionally and they were very supportive.

Karen Walker
karenw@tekig1.PEN.TEK.COM
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: phil@lotatg.lotus.com (Phil Ritari)
Subject: Re: CHILD WHO WILL NOT SLEEP!!
Organization: Lotus Development Corp.
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 13:22:05 GMT

In article <1992Jul8.193032.21223@chiton.ucsd.edu> martin@chiton.ucsd.edu  
(Martin Olivera) writes:
> Well, we're are having our "sleep" problems too. Tommy just turned
> 3 months-old and a couple of days ago we went to his monthly check-up
> at the pediatrician. He suggested that we should start "training" 
> Tommy to go on the "whole night sleep". Right now he gets his last
> feed (breast + bottle) at about 9.30pm, he wakes up at about 1am, then
> again at about 4-4.30am to be fed and changed (once) again. 

When our son was four months or so we "Ferberized" him - as I recall the  
suggested way to elimiate night feedings is to reduce the time of each one by a  
minute every time (first night 5, second night 4 etc). It worked really well  
for us - the transition from 1 to 0 was very smooth. 
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: thall@Ingres.COM (Trevor Hall)
Subject: Re: Use of drugs during labor (A Contrarian view)
Reply-To: thall@Ingres.COM (Trevor Hall)
Organization: Ask Computer Systems Inc., Ingres Division, Alameda CA 94501
Date: 24 Jul 92 16:27:45 GMT

In article <1992Jul24.150640.10057@nynexst.com> clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu) writes:
>  imagine an iv sticking in my arm either.  Labor is a
>  very physical athletic event.  I found the fetal monitor
>  too constricting.  I wish the doctors wouldn't go around
>  sticking needles and tubes into everyone.  How can you
>  push with all that gear hampering you?

Well, I was just an observer, but it looked pretty athletic to me ;-)

I also agree about the fetal monitor and IV, very restrictive.  However,
our experience with epidurals (a caudal, in our case) was positive.  Due
to pain/anxiety, Jenny was having a difficult time with the contractions.
We were making _very_ slow progress (1-3 cm in 8 hours).  Our obstetrician
okayed an epidural, if we wanted it.  We went ahead with it, hoping
that Jenny could at least get some rest.

Well, she did, napping for about an hour.  Meanwhile, we went from 3 cm
to 10 cm in that hour, while Jenny slept and I watched these tremendous
contractions on the monitor.  Jenny participated actively in the pushing
with no pain.  Our guess is that Jenny was actually fighting the contrac-
tions, reducing their effectiveness, prior to the caudal.  After the
caudal, she could relax and let the contractions work.

So, drugs aren't _universally_ bad, at least in our experience.

--
 +-----+ Trevor Hall                     "Frisbeetarianism: the belief
 |    #| Database Engineer                that when you die, your soul
 |     | Sequent Computer Systems, Inc.   goes up on the roof and gets
 +-----+ thall@sequent.com                stuck."
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: reid@metis.tti.com (Reid Kneeland)
Subject: Re: Pre Conception Books
Organization: Transaction Technology Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 14:52:57 GMT

In article <1992Jul28.041350.11162@cbnewse.cb.att.com> donna@vogon.att.com (Donna J. Dixon) writes:

>  4.  Don't consume alcohol before sex as it will impede the sperms
>      efficiency.

It may impair Dad's efficiency as well (not that *I* ever had that
problem, mind you...).

Was it Elaine Boosler who said "I think it's ironic that pregnant women
aren't supposed to drink alcohol.  Most women wouldn't BE pregnant
if it weren't for alcohol."

>  5.  Males may have a problem with their body temperature being too
>      high if they have just taken a hot shower before intercourse or
>      if their underwear is too tight.  Sometimes men switch to boxer
>      shorts if several months have gone by and the woman hasn't
>      conceived yet.

Strange, but true.  Sperm can't live long at normal body temperature;
that's why men are constructed in such a bizarre fashion.  Hot baths,
jacuzzis and saunas are RIGHT OUT until mom conceives.

=====================================================================
Reid Kneeland
reid@ttidca.tti.com  (that's MISTER reid@ttidca.tti.com to you!)
{philabs,psivax,pyramid,quad1,rdlvax,retix,rutgers}!ttidca!reid
Transaction Technology Inc., Santa Monica, CA, USA (310) 450-9111 x2499
The opinions expressed above do not necessarily etc etc...

Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers.
From: jacobsen@cc.swarthmore.edu (Robin Jacobsen)
Subject: Re: moving with 10 mo
Followup-To: misc.kids
Organization: Swarthmore Colleg
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 15:35:35 GMT

In article <jennifer.711297249@informatics>, jennifer@wupost.wustl.edu
(Jennifer Cousins) wrote:
> 
> We are moving to the Stanford area at the end of August with our 10 mo
> son and I wondered if there were things I could do to make the
> adjustment easier for him.  Will he even realize that we have moved
> permanently?  How do I explain this to him or do I even try?
> Also I will need to choose a new pediatrician.  Do you ask the same 
> questions that you asked before the baby was born or are there new
> ones for older children?  Please help.
> Thanks
> 
> jennifer@informatics.wustl.edu

I also just moved (June 25th) with my famiy Katie 4.5 and Emily 14 months.
Emily and the dog seem to have adjusted the best.  We didn't do much to
prepare Emily because of her age.  The first room I setup was her room so
that her crib was there for her the first night and things would look
familiar.  

I think the hardest part for Emily was the seperation from her baby sitter.
 She (like all of us) is not quite herself yet.  This pass weekend we
invited her baby-sitter over for dinner and she was just so happy, laughing
and hugging her all night.  I realized then how much the seperation had
upset her.  The problem w/ finding a new ped was made more difficult
because of the limited options my health care provider has.

We are still trying to adjust and I think that it will take a few more
months until we adjust to the big change.  Good luck with the move.