HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: al@escom.com (Al Donaldson)
Subject: heard on NPR
Organization: ESCOM Corporation
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 13:33:28 GMT

Two articles heard on National Public Radio "All Things Considered"
last night:

Item first:
Apparently lots of rain and mild temperatures have resulted 
in a huge crop of corn in Iowa this fall.  In some towns, corn
is being piled in the streets because there's not enough room
in grain elevators.  Farmers would usually be done with the
harvest by now, but one said he still had 40% of his crop in
the field.  He characterized it as "having corn coming out
his ears."

Item second:
NPR's final two stories were on food, with Craig Claiborne
(on not picking your teeth and not using your knife between
courses to clean your fingernails, etc..) and with Penn
of Penn and Teller on fun with food.  Penn mentioned the contest
he used to have with Teller about swapping parsley ("Hey, look
over there, isn't that the guy we met...?, while moving the
parsley over to Teller's plate.)  

His other story was the time he went into a diner and noticed 
they had strawberry Jello for fifty cents a serving.  He said it 
just came to him, "Waitress, Jello for everyone."  He said the 
waitress wouldn't do that ("some rule against ordering food for 
everyone in the diner"), but that she finally allowed him to buy 
Jello for this one guy, a truck driver, sitting up at the counter.  
So, next time you go into a diner, order Jello for everyone.

Al
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pdlemass@unix2.tcd.ie (Something original)
Subject: I SAW ELVIS YESTERDAY
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 13:25:42 GMT

I saw Elvis at the post office yesterday and he turned his head around
suddenly when I yelled "My gosh there's Elvis " and gave me a stern look
so it must have been him .
BTW  can someone send me the green golf ball joke . I'll swop you a picture
of elvis that I took yesterday .
Peter.
From: marsh@hpsad.sad.hp.com (Marshall Ward)
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 00:02:30 GMT
Subject: Re: Please send me THE INVISIBLE GOLFBALL JOKE
Organization: HP Signal Analysis Division - Rohnert Park, CA
Newsgroups: rec.humor


>Please (multiplied by one million ) send me the Invisible golfball joke.
>I've heard it's really funny. If you think you might get flamed or your
>account taken away though , I under stand . Also , if you've heard it 
>and don't think you'd tell it properly don't bother. If you had it saved
>but deleted it by accident , don't worry ,I'm sure some one will have it.

>Thanks a trilion  in advance ,
>Peter Lemass.

>P.S. I was watching this North Ameican Show the other day and one of the
>characters (Biff was his name ) said "A sucker is born every 
>nano-second " What did he mean ???????


I appreciate the sarcasm here!  It brought a chuckle to my lips.

Unfortunately, someone will respond with "send it to me too, please!"

And they're off.............Again!

Marshall


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com (Mark Johnson)
Subject: Re: >> Other ways to say vomit..
Reply-To: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Wireless Enterprises, Schaumburg, IL
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 22:13:30 GMT

In article <1eaud4INNrch@chester.ksu.ksu.edu>, gdscott@chester.ksu.ksu.edu (Geoffrey D Scott) writes:
=)usenet@oracle.us.oracle.com (Oracle News Poster) writes:
=)>In article <1e86m3INNgk1@mercury.kingston.ac.uk> cs_d604@ceres (David Scutt) writes:
=)>>aa395@yfn.ysu.edu (Perry Tarantine) writes:
=)>>: all time favorites: Yawning in technicolor 
=)>>:   Engaging in an involuntary protien spill (carlin)
=)>>	Puke
=)>>	Spew
=)>>	Emit
=)>>	Chunder
=)>>	Retch
=)>>	Sick Up
=)>>	Do A Technicolour Yawn
=)>>	Park The Tiger
=)>>	Yell for Ralph
=)>>	Call Europe On The Great White Telephone
=)>>	Make A Pavement Pizza
=)>>	Have a School Lunch Re-Run
=)>>	Air The Diced Carrots		(personal favourite :-7 )
=)>>	Barf and Produce The Liquid Laugh
=)>	Shout at your Shoes
=)>	Drive the Porcelin Bus
=)>	Boot
=)>	Blow chunks
=)>	Blow doughnuts  (Time to blow the doughnuts!)
=)what about "woof your cookies" and "Power Spit", and the ecer popular
=)"Leave your offering to the porcelain God!"

Or my favorite, Talking to Ralph on the Big White Telephone.
-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson"                              |Just because you're paranoid doesn't|
| johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com |   mean they're not out to get you. |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Let's face it; if our lawyers knew what went on here, they'd shut us down.  |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bianc@next09cville.wam.umd.edu (WierdnesS)
Subject: Re:   FUCK blank
Organization: Workstations at Maryland, University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 01:46:25 GMT

































'
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: isupstud@bnr.ca (Wayne Hutton)
Subject: Re: Bugs Bunny
Reply-To: isupstud@bnr.ca (Wayne Hutton)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 21:23:12 GMT

>>>	Anybody have an ascii picture of bugs?
>>>
>>>	Please send to jkemper@ub.dumn.edu
>>>
>>>
>>>	THANKS A BUNCH!!

me too please! oh, please!

-- 

Todd Strilchuk:

	isupstud@bnr.ca

	tstrilch@ugly.uvic.ca
From: mlxh@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Michael Howard)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: GGBJ
Date: 17 Nov 92 18:43:30 GMT
Reply-To: mlxh@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Michael Howard)
Distribution: rec.humor
Organization: Laboratory for the Foundations of Computer Science, Edinburgh U

At great personal risk (hhmmm... :-) I am posting the green golfball joke.
This will hopefully clear up the fuss about it 'not existing', and show every1
what all the fuss was about. <below edit taken off of monochrome somewhere>



Ok, so here it comes...


... the green golf ball joke...


... <drumroll> ...


<Warning: is slightly sick: do not read if easily offended>

---------------------------------------------------[Thu Nov  7 15:42:46 1991]--
From: YYURYYUBICURYY4me (blackcat)

Subject:The infamous green golf ball joke

 This vicar is hearing confession from this guy, who tells him about a brothel
he goes to where a woman can give a blow job while singing! The vicar can
hardly believe this, but the man assures him it's true. 'It must be a miracle!'
thinks the vicar to himself, but thinks no more about it.

 The next day, he gets drunk on communal wine, and decides to check out this
incredible thing for himself! So he goes to the brothel, and asks the madame
about the amazing miracle woman he's heard about who does the singing blow
jobs. The madame shows him a picture of the beautifull girl, but tells him he 
has to be blindfolded while she does the business, so the way she does it can
be kept a secret.

 The vicar agrees, and pays the madame. She leads him into a dark room, 
followed by the girl, who seductively undresses him, then blindfolds him. But
just before he notices something about the size of a green golf ball on a 
shelf in the corner.

 Anyway, the woman starts to do the business, and then suddenly breaks into
angellic song while giving the vicar the best blow job he's ever had in his
life! <and he used to get about a bit before taking the vows!> After she
finished, he was just overcome with curiosity, and made a grab for the light!

 All he saw was the girl on the bed and, in the corner on the shelf, a single
glass eye... 


(BC.)
<you can tell how much of a nerd some1 is by how long it takes them 2 get it:-> 
--
*****************************************************************************
       . /_____      |                <mlxh@dcs.ed.ac.uk>             
         \           |    How happy is the moron, he doesn't give a damn.
  (mostly harmless)  |     I wish I were a moron. My god, perhaps I am!        
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pratheep@ccad.uiowa.edu (Pratheep Chidambaram)
Subject: Re: Wanted: Green Golf Ball Joke
Organization: CAD-Research, University of Iowa, Iowa City
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 21:39:36 GMT

include me too for the joke.
I am very curious indeed.

pratheep@herky.cs.uiowa.edu



Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: veen2976@mach1.wlu.ca (veenstra christopher)
Subject: Re: Student raise of grade form
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 02:01:35 GMT

In article <1992Nov16.152154.13489@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel) writes:
>
>
>In article <92320.200930MFM104@psuvm.psu.edu> Markus <MFM104@psuvm.psu.edu> wri
>tes:
>>
>>                       STUDENT RAISE OF GRADE FORM
>>
>> Dear Professor:_________________________________________Date:_______________
>>
>>     My grade in ___________________________ should be raised from __________
>> to ______ because:
>>
>> 1.  There must be a mistake somewhere.
>     [...etc.]
>
>Graduate students are sooooooo funny.  GET BACK TO THE LAB.
>YOU HAVE WORK TO DO!!!!!
>
>-Mark

I think what we have to determine here, is WHO UNLOCKED THE DOOR???

-Chris Veenstra
veen2976@mach1.wlu.ca
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes,rec.humor
From: runeb@stud.cs.uit.no (Rune Braathen)
Subject: Re: Car Acronyms- Everything That's Been Posted
Organization: University of Tromsoe, Norway
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 11:38:09 GMT

If anyone else is getting totally bored with this car-'jokes', let me
know! What is so BLEEDIN tasteless about inventing what the Ford, Mazda
and whats-their-names REALLY means???

Will all CAR fetischist please move to alt.dick.extensions and zoode out
of the tasteless universe.

Har! Monster bait!

Rune

P.S. Did anyone hear about the family that was so poor, that they used the
front end of their underwear to do the dishes, the back end to clean the
floor and the part in the middle to grease the frying pan???
Think not.


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: zawr02@hou.amoco.com (Andrew W. Robinson)
Subject: Re: Presidential Campaign Test
Reply-To: zawr02@hou.amoco.com
Organization: Amoco
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 18:53:07 GMT

In article 172831@zeus.calpoly.edu, jmunch@hertz.elee.calpoly.edu (John Munch) writes:
>
>8. During the sale of US missiles to Iran, the late Ronald Reagan was
>   napping through the presidency and Vice President Bush was "out of
>   the loop."  Write down your best guess as to who was running the United
>   States.
> 
Easy enough: Al *I'm in control* Haig!

---

Andrew Robinson
--------------------------------------------------------------
Amoco Production Company
Robinson_Andrew_W/ets_ess@hou.amoco.com	
--------------------------------------------------------------
Opinions expressed are solely my own.
From: kim3@husc10.harvard.edu (Jason Y. Kim)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.flame.spelling
Subject: Re: haha #3
Date: 22 Nov 92 17:07:22 GMT
Article-I.D.: husc10.kim3.722452042
Distribution: rec

jim@fuji.eng.yale.edu (James J. Szinger) writes:

>You misspelled 'hahvahd'.  It's lower case and has no R's.
>--
>James Szinger                        jim@fuji.eng.yale.edu


Harvard football whipped Yale's butt on Saturday 14-0 thus confirming that
YALE SUCKS!!

I was there, yee-ha!

-- 


                              ~  Jason Y. Kim  ~
                                     ~=@=~
From: tka2@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TOMER AMIT)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: \*\*\*OFFENSIVE, BUT GOOD JOKES\*\*\*
Date: 20 Nov 92 18:05:59 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

The superhero joke,

Superman and Batman are sitting at the bar having a talk:
"You know Batman," said superman "I havn't gotten laid for a long time, and
boy to I feel horny!"
"Gee, Superman, that sucks," replied Batman.
"Would you by any chance know of any good women available?" said Superman.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do.  I hear that Wonder Woman is looking for a
boyfriend right now," responded Batman.
"Wonder Woman?" said Superman, "I don't know, I don't think she likes me"
"Who cares" said Batman "You're so fast, you can just go in out bing bang and
she'll never know what happened"
"You know Batman, that's a very good idea!" said Superman
Next day, a happy Superman is flying around looking for people in need of his
assistance.  Suddenly he sees Wonder Woman lying naked on a beach.  He
remembers Batman's advice and cannot believe his luck.  Immediately, he dives
towards Wonder Woman, bing bang, in out, and he's done.  Super Man flies away
with a big smile on his face.
"What was that?" Inquires Wonder Woman
"I don't know" said the Invisible man as he rolled off Wonder Woman, "But my
ass feels very sore!"

WARNING!!! THE FOLLOWING JOKE MAY BE OFFNESIVE TO MANY PEOPLE!

Three guys are sitting at a bran new bar having a beer.  The bar tender says,
"You know fellas, I havn't got a name for this bar yet."
"Whoop tee do!" they all replied sychronously.
"You know what," says the bar tender, if you give me a name that I can use for
this bar, I will give you a free drink every day for a week."
The three men suddenly became very interested.
"How 'bout Charlie's Place?" says the first man,
"I don't think so," replied the bar tender.
"What about Cheers and Beers?" says the second,
"I don't know," said the bar tender.
"How about Lucy's legs," said the third,
"Lucy's Legs," thats a great idea!
[running out of time, igonore spelling errors]
the next day the guy that jsut won the contest stands next to the the closed
doors of the bar.  A cop comes by and says,
"Excuse me, what are you doing here?"
"I am waiting for Lucy's Legs to open so I can get a free drink," said the man.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hewitt@GTEtele.com (Mark Hewitt)
Subject: Re: I don't get 10/28 Far Side
Organization: GTE Telecom, Inc.
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 20:56:10 GMT

Mike Schlosser (mikes@ars2.uucp) wrote:
: In <Bx5Kp0.E6K@wang.com> dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong) writes:
: 
: 
: >I don't understand the Far Side calendar for Wednesday, Oct. 28.  On a
: >shelf there are three pickle-jar type things (like lab specimens)
: >and the caption is "Broca's brain, appendix, and baseball glove"
: 
: >I guess Broca must be someone or some piece of culture that I
: >skipped over in my life.
: 
: >Thanks in advance for the clue.
: 
: >Dave
: 
: >-- 
: >Dave Bushong, Wang Laboratories, Inc.   Amateur Radio Callsign KZ1O
: >Project Leader, OCR products            kz1o@n0ary.#noca.ca.na
: >Internet: dbushong@wang.com
: 
: 
: This was soon after the World Series.
: I would guess the three have in common this:
: THINGS THAT HUMANS NO LONGER NEED !!!
: 
: Maybe, Maybe not.


Uhh...guess nobody reads Asmiov around here.

"Broca's Brain" is the title of a science fiction novel.

-mark-
-- 
..Mark Hewitt (hewitt@gtetele.com)..# 
.......(uunet!gtenmc!hewitt)........# "I don't think so," said Rene Descartes.
......GTE Telecom Incorporated......#  Just then, he vanished.
....Bothell, WA  (206) 487-8331.....# 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien Saunders)
Subject: Re: Riddle -
Organization: University of Tasmania, Australia.
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 11:49:52 GMT

hollenbk@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Chris Hollenbeck) writes:

>In article <By0Msr.7uu@newcastle.ac.uk> S.E.Rigden@newcastle.ac.uk (Simon Rigden) writes:
>>
>> The following is a riddle I saw the other day. Some people get it straight
>>away but mathematicians seem to have difficulty - tell it to one and see.
>>
>>
>> A man is talking to a zoo keeper :
>>
>>
>> Man : How many animals are there in your zoo?
>>
>> ZK  : Well, I can tell you that there are 64 heads and 186 legs?
>>
>> Is it possible to work out the answer to the mans question from this?
>>
>>
>There is no real answer because the number of legs are split among two- and
>four-legged animals.  One solution I came up with was 35 two-legged animals
>and 29 4-legged animals.  This is the one that I think is the best solution.
How many snakes were there in this zoo?

Damien.
--
"Its a 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 a pack of
cigarettes, its dark and we're wearing sunglasses"
"Hit it" Blues Brothers Movie. Jake & Elwood.
Damien Saunders (Gunnar Njalsson SCA) Email:u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au
From: drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Babies
Date: 16 Nov 1992 21:36:38 GMT
Organization: Univ. Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center

In article <1992Nov16.095754.1762@guvax.acc.georgetown.edu>
gillon@guvax.acc.georgetown.edu writes:
>How do you make a baby float?
>
>	Take your foot of its head.

Hmm. I would have said "Root beer and two scoops of frozen baby puree".


David Gutierrez
drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu

"Only fools are positive." - Moe Howard
From: rpaturi@ho19.eng.ua.edu (Ravikiran Satya Paturi)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Ultimate Hole
Date: 17 Nov 1992 15:50:38 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu



I remember seeing this add in TIME mag,
It was by BMW:
	As their slogan is "The ultimate Driving Machine"
They were sponcering a golf match, and the slogan for that
is




	"THE ULTIMATE HOLE"

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
____________________________________________________________
RAVI					(205) 750-0066
All the openions expressed are of my Advisor's.......
#include <everyting.h>
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.tasteless.jokes
From: kfason@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Kevin Fason)
Subject: jokes request
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 01:23:44 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

Could some people please mail me some scottish jokes?  If you have some,
please lemmie know!  Theres a scottish guy on my floor who loves seeing these
things plastered to his door...

-KF
From: petebre@elof.iit.edu (Brent A. Peterson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: AL BUNDY'S NUDIE BAR POEM?
Date: 24 Nov 92 02:34:33 GMT
Organization: Illinois Institute of Technology, Chicago

In article <1992Nov23.155002.49091@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu> rjs5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (ROBERT JOSEPH SOLFANELLI) writes:
>In article <92327.221004MFM104@psuvm.psu.edu>, MFM104@psuvm.psu.edu (Markus) wri
>tes:
>>Does anybosy remember the words to al bundy's nudie bar poem i believe one of t
>>he lines went like this:
>>
>>           at the nudie bar
>>           where you can look at a thigh
>>           and blacken an eye
>>           at the nudie bar
>>
>>that's all i remember any additions???? please e-mail thanks
>>
>I remember a verse...
>
>            at the nudie bar
>            where they show you their butt
>            and they keep their trap shut
>            at the nudie bar
>
how about these two
            
           at the nudie bar
           where you can't touch a breast 
           but you can cave in a chest,
           at the nudie bar
 
           at the nudie bar
           where the beer gives you gas
           but the bundy's kick ass
           at the nudie bar


-Bp
From: deanc@ex.heurikon.com (Dean Cheney)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: >> Other ways to say vomit..
Keywords: Ralph sent me !
Date: 21 Nov 92 20:05:11 GMT
Organization: Heurikon Corporation, Madison, WI



In article <Bxw57x.249@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> doerrhb@expert.cc.purdue.edu (Heath Doerr) writes:
>In article <1992Nov17.221330.1513@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com writes:
>>In article <1eaud4INNrch@chester.ksu.ksu.edu>, gdscott@chester.ksu.ksu.edu (Geoffrey D Scott) writes:
>>=)usenet@oracle.us.oracle.com (Oracle News Poster) writes:
>>=)>In article <1e86m3INNgk1@mercury.kingston.ac.uk> cs_d604@ceres (David Scutt) writes:

              [stuff deleted]

>> Talking to Ralph on the Big White Telephone.
>   How about "Laughing at the carpet"


    I've always liked "Barking with the seals"



BTW,  got the ol' Flu bug?  Well I guess its time to Ride the White Harley |-)







tuobadnuor


     
--
deanc@ex.heurikon.com \  
                      /  When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people.
                      \              
                      /                        --  Seneca (4 B.C. - A.D. 65)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: zawr02@hou.amoco.com (Andrew W. Robinson)
Subject: Re: Airline acronyms and names
Reply-To: zawr02@hou.amoco.com
Organization: Amoco
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 18:56:44 GMT

There use to be one named Trans-Texas Airline (now Continental?).
A regular passenger explained to my airsick mom that TTA stood for
Tree-Top Airlines or Try-Try Again.
---

Andrew Robinson
--------------------------------------------------------------
Amoco Production Company
Robinson_Andrew_W/ets_ess@hou.amoco.com	
--------------------------------------------------------------
Opinions expressed are solely my own.

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hollenbk@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Chris Hollenbeck)
Subject: Re: Riddle -
Organization: University of Cincinnati
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 21:30:05 GMT

In article <By0Msr.7uu@newcastle.ac.uk> S.E.Rigden@newcastle.ac.uk (Simon Rigden) writes:
>
> The following is a riddle I saw the other day. Some people get it straight
>away but mathematicians seem to have difficulty - tell it to one and see.
>
>
> A man is talking to a zoo keeper :
>
>
> Man : How many animals are there in your zoo?
>
> ZK  : Well, I can tell you that there are 64 heads and 186 legs?
>
> Is it possible to work out the answer to the mans question from this?
>
>
>
> -Simon "I really should get round to creating a .sig" Rigden
> -(S.E.Rigden@ncl.ac.uk)
There is no real answer because the number of legs are split among two- and
four-legged animals.  One solution I came up with was 35 two-legged animals
and 29 4-legged animals.  This is the one that I think is the best solution.

--CJH
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: PHoward@Husky1.StMarys.ca (Philip M. Howard)
Subject: Goldilocks & the 3 Bears in COBOL
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Saint Mary's University, Halifax NS
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 18:15:17 GMT

Once upon a time a comp. sci. prof. of mine (now deceased... is there an
NNTP feed up there, Barry?) told of a COBOL version of Goldilocks and the
Three Bears. As I recall, it would even compile!

Has anyone heard of it? I'd love a copy.


Philip M. Howard
Technical Support Analyst, Computer Services
Saint Mary's University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
C A N A D A  B3H 3C3

internet: PHoward@Husky1.StMarys.ca
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: scsd1055@altair.selu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Urinal Usage (answered)
Date: 18 Nov 92 23:34:59 -0600
Organization: Southeastern Louisiana University

Kevin writes->
>From: kdq@quest.UUCP (Kevin D. Quitt)
>Subject: Urinal Usage
>
>    Why is it that some men walk up to a urinal and flush it as soon as
>they start to pee?  They keep peeing even after the water has stopped
>flowing, and walk away leaving the urinal full of yellow water?  Riddle
>me THAT one, caped crusader!
>

	Well what the hell...I'm very bored tonight.  I'll try to solve 
the riddle of the pee....or at least die trying:

1)  Some think that with all that water being sucked down that nothing
    can possibly leap or splash up out of that filthy, nasty, pube infested 
    hole, up onto their person (mainly the hands or tool...Ugh!)

2)  Some guys need a jump start (sound of water rushing).

3)  Its possible that the hypnotic swirling motion sends the one-eyed 
    wonder worm into a state of relaxedness... sort of like penis nirvana!
    (And since the penis has only one eye...this isn't too hard to do.)
    [Buddhists might get this one]

4)  Some guys just want to see if they can reverse the downward 
    counterclockwise spiral, or they use the eye of the spiral for guidance.

5)  Maybe its like a dog, marking his territory.... 

6)  Some guys have bad hand, eye, dick coordination...

7)  Maybe they've taken a megadose of vitamins and no matter when (before,
    during, or after) they flush the excess is still there...

8)  Maybe they're in a bike gang... (this is meant for those preflushers that
    have the floor pedals)  ...and its like a kick start????

9)  Maybe they're trying to muffle a fart???  Ffflussss(Fart)sssshhhh!

10) Maybe they just like pissing other people off!


	That'll be $5 please.... next question please.

Goodnight all,
Bill Plunkett  
Newsgroups: rec.humor