HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: infernal janitor
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 92 01:11:38 GMT
Distribution: alt.peeves
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <LARRY.92Aug20175325@peak.psl.nmsu.edu> larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:
>Now normally I'm a mellow fellow when it comes to other people just doing
>their jobs and all. But I'm finding myself honestly peeved by the janitor
>in this place, who shows up at 4:30 PM every night to go to work. Since I
>am almost always here till after 6:00, I get at least an hour of him every
>work day.
>First, there is the business of the "orange" flavored industrial deodorant
>he hits both bathrooms with. Intense! I think I preferred the pea smell.

    I think I grasp your problem, Larry: You aren't supposed
    to EAT those giant breath mints in the urinals. You
    shouldn't KNOW what they TASTE like.

    Why did your bathroom smell like peas? Mushy peas?
    Frozen peas?

>Then, there is his Janitor Cart from Hell, which consists of a rolling 
>heavy duty 55 gallon sized plastic wastebasket, with a cloth ditty on it
>with holsters for various cleaning aids. It has a diameter about six
>inches narrower than the hall and that's where he has it parked. So every
>time I walk down the hall to get something off the printer, I have to
>doseedo this goddam janitor cart.

    So tell him that next time you find it in your way you're
    going to *burn* it. What kind of peevester are you anyway?
    Besides, rhumba is more sexy.

>If the Janitor Cart isn't there, it's in the men's john, blocking the door
>open. You can even take an honest piss after 4:30.

    Try the ladies room. Open yourself to a whole world of new
    sexual possibilities. And post a note telling us just what
    the hell they *do* in there for so bloody long.

>Finally, the poor guy has a dog chain with about 500 keys on it, and it
>jingles continuously wherever he is.

    So shoot the dog. Once it isn't moving, it won't jingle...

>.. So take this hambone with you. And when you get home, call your mother out
>from under the porch and give it to her!"

     What more can be said? This is masterful. Who are you
     quoting?

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 17 Aug 1992 15:34:44 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

(Alex Elliott) writes:
[Describing the Pennsytucky drivers' test]
>That's it.  No real traffic, no emergency stops, no parallel parking.
>Not exactly a difficult test.

I remember that test.  You forgot to mention the "starting the car on
the upgrade" part.

I don't know if this was a statewide convention or not, but in my
area, they *would* *not* pass you the first time you took the test.
Really.  I scored 82 out of 100 the first time I took it, and
you needed 86 or something like that to pass.  I looked at the scoring
and had received *2* of the possible 15 "examiner discretion" points.
I lost the other 5 points for not shifting from first to second in the
150 foot stretch of aspault between two stop signs.

>There's also a "written" part that actually consists of standing at 
>a TV screen with four buttons where you have a 20 question multiple
>choice quiz.

Heh.  Remember that, too.  Last time I got my license in
Califuckinfornia, the "written" part of the exam was making out a
check to the DMV.  There was no driving test.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"If you add a teaspoon of wine to a barrel of sewage, you get sewage.
If you add a teaspoon of sewage to a barrel of wine, you get sewage.
This, my son, is entropy."
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 20 Aug 92 11:21:55 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <25026@castle.ed.ac.uk> scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach) writes:
=>egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
=>
=>>=>>Just a question, Scott. What the hell are you blabbering on about?
=>>=>I suppose you want me to rewrite it in French.
=>>If you like, but English would be a start.
=>
=>Congratulations! You win this argument, by dint of supplying a retort
=>was so stupendously interesting, unexpected, and original, that it's
=>caused me to forget the entire thread, in the process of fa-ll-ing
=>as-l-e-e-p at

[... amusing graphic deleted ...]

It might not be all that original, Scotty-me-boy, but if you insist
on posting rubbish, then I'm more-or-less obliged to call it, well, rubbish.


-- 
==================================================================
-Jeremy Henderson            |  Une souris verte
 egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk	     |  Qui courrait dans l'herbe
==================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: Political Peeves
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Activists
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 04:54:57 GMT

v116kznd@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Dave Archer) writes:
>Peeve:  Republicans.  

	Peeve: people who stereotype Republicans.  I'm a libertarian
type of guy.  You know, leave the the hell alone and keep the guvmint
in DC where it belongs and not in my house sort of thing.  The
problem is, the Republicans agree with my views more than the Democrats,
so I have to register Republican.  The anit-peeve?  I get to screw with
them at the loca convention.

>I won't say anything bad about Reagan, after all, he's old enough to be my 
>grandfather's grandfather.  It's a bit spooky to see those Reagan '96 and 
>Buchanan/Reagan '96 signs.  I like to believe those people are joking, but 
>I know some of them are serious.  

	This reminds me -- I heard part of Reagan's speech, and I laughed
my ass off.  In reference to the "new" democratic party claiming they
were moderates, Reagan said, "And they call *me* an actor!"  I had to
clean coffee off my computer I laughed so hard.

>I'd also bitch some about those Young Republican types that get everything 
>handed to them by their parents and have never worked an honest days work, 
>but I won't.  It's not my place to say anything nasty about these children 
>that haven't lived in the Real World yet.  Many of them won't ever have to 
>anyways.

	I am a republican, and fairly young, so if you wish to qualify
that statement I give you leave to do so.  If you don't, I can only
expect that you think people who work 18 hours/day have everyting
handed to them and have never worked on honest day in their life.  Be
wary of stereotypes, boy, for you may find they don't fit.  On the
other hand, you may find that they do!

>However, I do agree the Republicans on one point:  It is time for change.  
>It is time to Clean House.  The only problem is that THEY are pointing to 
>the wrong end of Pennsylvania Avenue.

	Damn strait!  Congress passes the tax bills, and I'm tired of my
suppossed success taking me to the cleaners when I pay my taxed.  Let's
throw the Dems out!  After all, Bush made his "No new taxes" pledge on
the faith that the Democratic congress would live up to their part of
the bargain.  As we have all seen, this was a wrong assumption.

>This has been a paid political announcement that has cost the net hundreds, 
>if not thousands of dollars.

	Another democrat willing to waste taxpayer money so long as it
serves his own pet interests.

	Sorry, peevers, but I hate a gloater, no matter what his political
connections.  Personally, I'm voting Libertarian.  I can't cause a mandate
from the masses this way, and perhaps the demopublicans will listen.


--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"There'll be angels on Ariels in leather>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | and chrome, Ridin' down from heaven    >
<viking@iastate.edu      | just to carry me home." -- R. Thompson >
< ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee. >
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: torkel@sics.se (Torkel Franzen)
Subject: Re: Usenet peeve
Organization: Swedish Institute of Computer Science, Kista
	<1992Aug13.185223.28085@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 19:24:16 GMT

In article <1992Aug13.185223.28085@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu
 (Bill Berbenich) writes:

   >Well, he is our first Swede (isn't he?)

  Nope. I distinctly recall that there were a couple of peeves from Sweden
when I last looked in, about a year and a half ago.
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 21:09:50 EDT
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: GRE/Handwriting Peeve

I applied to take the Graduate Record Exam yesterday.  I had to fill
out a lengthy application, including a lot of questions about my grades
in college and the courses I'd taken.  (Many of the questions were
optional, but I like to answer all the questions.  :-)  None of this
was peevesome, except the fact that I borrowed a pencil from someone
that had dried ink all over the tip, and it took a long time to figure
out why the pencil wouldn't write correctly.

At the end, to my great shock, I was required to HAND-WRITE a consent
statement.  It specifically stated that I was NOT to print.  Therefore,
I settled in to write the thing.  It took far longer than printing it
would have, and appeared to have been written by a second-grader.
Since I haven't used handwriting since I learned it in second grade,
this is not surprising.

When I finished, my hand was cramped.

Random!Peeve: My new jeans.  They're comfy, and I successfully utilized
              mail order to get them.  :-)
-Sonja
------
SEK@psuvm.psu.edu SEK@PSUVM.BITNET
Our strength is often composed of the weakness we're damned if
we're going to show.                             - Mignon McLaughlin
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Champagne (was: PRO-smoker's peeves)
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 92 01:33:29 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow
Keywords: newbies, champagne, crystal, fonts

pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg) writes: 
| 
| ObPeeve: Champagne. In particular, the snob appeal with which it is
| surrounded. Now I believe that in the You Essay, the word "champagne"
| is frequently used to refer to any sparkling wine, and that is a usage
| that I heartily approve of. Over here however, it must have two
| additional characteristics. (1) It must be produced in the Champagne
| region of France. (2) It must be horrendously overpriced. The cheapest
| is around ten pounds a bottle. The reason why anyone even contemplates
| paying this much for it is not because that is its intrinsic value,
| but because some marketing guru has managed to convince the public
| that it is obligatory for celebrations.

When the international agreements were signed, limiting usage of terms
like "champagne", "anjou", "Johannesburg Riesling", etc., to only those
that one would think had a right to use them, the You Ess uv Ay was
about hip-deep in Prohibition.  We didn't sign it, and now you can
get "champagne" from New York and "Johannesburg Riesling" from California.
Yuh, right.  They *call* it that, but it just ain't the same.

Second, Champagne is expensive because of the amount of time that it takes
to make a good bottle of champagne using the methode champenoise. Unsure
of the spelling on that, my French ain't. The other reason is the basic
rule of "charging what the market will bear", and the fact is that the
stuff is *good*.

It was expensive loooooong before there were marketing gurus.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|The meaning of the complement form of a switch    |
|can be determined by complementing the meaning    |
|of the switch.                                    |
|                     --Ada Reference Manual       |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: peeve o' the day
Date: 18 Aug 92 22:09:02 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <1b854259.ARN2372@prolix.pub.uu.oz.au>
munnari!labtam!eyrie!prolix!dac writes:
>Peeve: Code reviews.

Yeah, I hate it when someone points out that I've done something stupid
when programming, too.  It means I have no excuse for doing it again.

>Some dork at work object to me declaring a variable 'junk'
>without commenting it. So I commented it:
>
>   int junk; // This variable holds the contents of pi to four
>             // billion decimal places, and is overwritten at whim.
>
>He wasn't impressed.

While such a declaration is "cute" when you do it in school, it loses
it's charm when people are paying you to do work.

   don
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: alt.alien.visitors, the ultimate anti-peeve
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 92 14:23:06 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <92Aug20.005751.25678@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
>I finally got around to subscribing to a.a.v, and I have to
>thank Mssr Crawford for the hot tip. That place is a scream.
	After reading your article, I too decided to waste more time by
subscribing to alt.alien.visitors. It is well worth the time 
	The other day, a friend of mine told me about a news letter that he
had seen an advertisement for. It was something along the lines of The
Barbie Channeling newsletter. It talks about using Barbie and her cohorts
to channel. 
Peeve: I would really like to subscribe to something this ridiculous(only $3),
but I can't imagine that this is a serious publication. More likely, it is a
scam to get $3 from stupid people. What a dilemma.

ObServation: Given Danny's military record, I can't believe George is mocking
Clinton for only being the commander of the Arkansas National Guard.

ObSchoolIsAboutToStartPeeve: My checkbook suffered a serious hernia yesterday 
when I went to buy books. I am only taking 13 hours, but books came to 
$258! The main culprit in this blatant highway robbery is an economics class 
I am taking. There are 3 textbooks for this class. $38.10, $32.95 and 
$22.50(This one I found used. Normally it would have been ~$35). These are just
the "required" books for this class. There are 2 study guides(~$50) that I 
didn't even think about buying.
	Surely, it would be possible to distill the combined microeconomic
wisdom of these 3 books into one $50-$60 book. We could save paper, energy,
etc, but most importantly my bank account.

!Peeve: I managed to keep my Sundays completely open. With football season 
right around the corner, I will be able to spend an entire 8-12 hours waiting
for a serious injury on TV. 
	This really is an !Peeve, since I do like football. I'm sure that 
there are plenty of you who can use the same thing by just removing the '!'.

-- 
Chris Baldwin                | Robert Johnson invented the pickle! 
baldwin@carina.unm.edu       |                         - Adam Reid
          If I were a carpenter I'd hammer on my piglet. -- TMBG
From: scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 20 Aug 92 11:45:38 GMT

egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
>It might not be all that original, Scotty-me-boy, but if you insist
>on posting rubbish, then I'm more-or-less obliged to call it, well, rubbish.

And my point is that this isn't alt.isnt.is.isnt.is. You're welcome to
call what I say rubbish, but you're also expected to put some minimal
effort into making it entertaining.

Maybe we should take this to email; everyone else must be bored stiff
by now.

S
From: awrc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Al Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers from Hell
Date: 20 Aug 92 11:49:23 GMT
Reply-To: awrc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Al Crawford)
Organization: The University Of Edinburgh - Department Of Computer Science

In article <25029@castle.ed.ac.uk> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
> scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach) writes:
>> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
>>> scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach) writes:
>>>> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
>>>>> scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach) writes:
>>>>>> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
>
> It might not be all that original, Scotty-me-boy, but if you insist
> on posting rubbish, then I'm more-or-less obliged to

...post more rubbish?

Does anyone detect a pattern emerging in the above thread? Scott posts,
Jeremy follows up. Scott follows up to that, Jeremy replies again, Scott
replies to that and so on ad infinitum until Scott/Jeremy/the readers of
alt.peeves die of old age/complete boredom. Two things were noticeable
about this thread...

1.	It was extremely dull.
2.	Nobody else followed up to it.

One might venture to suggest that 1 => 2, that nobody followed up to it
because it was, in brief, extremely dull and not even worth reading, let
alone following up to. It was, in fact, probably the most apathetic
flamewar in history, with Scott and Jeremy snapping feebly at each other
like two toothless and rather elderly Jack Russell terriers.

Mind you, compared to endless discussion about some second-rate soap opera
which a) probably almost none of the UK peevers other than the two or three
that were posting about it watch and b) the vast majority of the readers of
this newsgroup couldn't watch even if they wanted to, even the flamewar had
some entertainment value.

This does lead us to wonder just what has gone wrong. I, at least, have
developed a tendency to shut up and drop out of sight when I've got nothing
of import to say. The stress of moving from the sheltered halls of academia
into the competitive job market does, however, seem to have caused Jeremy's
article quality control to suffer a (we hope) temporary failure. Even the
bait of Mike Holmes posting about a Hawkwind gig seems to have done little
to raise his spirits. C'mon, Mike, post something containing Libertarian
politics *and* copious Hawkwind references to see if we can free Jeremy of
the malaise of crud from which he is currently suffering.

Shutting up and dropping out of sight...

--
			Al Crawford - awrc@dcs.ed.ac.uk
	  Department Of Computer Science, The University of Edinburgh
   Rm 1410, JCMB, Kings Buildings, Mayfield Rd, EDINBURGH, EH9 3JZ, Scotland
	     Tel: +44 (0) 31 650 5165  Fax: +44 (0) 31 667 7209
From: mgfrank@avernus.com (Marc G. Frank)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: alt.alien.visitors, the ultimate anti-peeve
Date: 21 Aug 92 02:00:56 GMT
Organization: Maryland Appreciation Society

In article <92Aug20.00575.25678@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
>Sigh. It's sad when you feel guilty about laughing at the
>sideshow freaks. Not because you shouldn't feel guilty, but

Don't worry about it; John Winston has the solution.  In case you didn't
know, he's an empath for Starfleet Command(*), and it's his job to
absorb all that negative energy.  Apparently they work in shifts; he
said that after it's his shift he feels drained but satisfied.  Darn,
sure wish I'd saved the original post.

Marc "He's lying, Captain, I can feel it" Frank

(*)  I don't think it was exactly Starfleet Command, but it was damn
close.  May have just been Star Command, or perhaps plain ol' Starfleet.


--
Marc G. Frank        mgfrank@avernus.com        "Hey, you never know."
                                                  -- NYS Lotto slogan
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Random Peeve
Date: 16 Aug 92 13:07:38 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan the Ass from Oz) writes:
> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca (Herman the Hermaphrodite) writes:
>> allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan (call me Linda)Evans) writes:
>                                                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Is this your personal fantasy? Sorry, I'm years younger and a different sex. 
> Oops... I nearly forgot... that sort of thing makes *you* wet.

What, attractive women with a personality? You bet.

> [A lot of drivel, much of which he seemed to think was *intellegent*. Since
>  everone now has their dictionaries out, perhaps "deluded" is a good word to
>  look up.]

Or perhaps "presunptuous".

>> I think it rather more ironic that I take an obtuse pride in being purposely 
>> obtuse, don't you, Al?
> 
> Well, you've got me there. You certainly excel in obfuscatory remarks. I will
> admit though, since you take pride in lacking keenness or quickness in
> comprehension, you have succeeded beyond all doubt in accomplishing your goals.
> 

Well, thank you. I told you it was a obtuse pride.

>> GASP! caught! *smirk* (Al, please note: This is sarcasm).
> 
> Quoth he.
> 

Well, I know I thought *this* was the best comeback I've seen in a bit.

NAWT.

Forgive me if I'm not slain by your (half) wit.

> 
> Please look up the definition of obtuse. 

Ok.

Oh, maybe you'd like me to explain. Have trouble with the alphabet, perhaps?

Obtuse:more than 90 degrees and less than 180 degrees.

How's that?

>> > I think... it is unlikely that the irony of his signature is apparent
>>   ^^^^^^^ well, *there's* a shocker.
> 
> I can understand why this would shock you. Fear of the unknown.
> 

What's this, the "I'm rubber and you're glue" school of flamage?

>> this post, you'd think I was Shakespere ( I say "was" instead of "were" 
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^
> Show this to mommy. You may get spanked... don't get too wet now.
> 

Thanks. but my dear old Mommy (the English teacher) thinks I'm a pretty good 
writer... I don't think spankings would be in the works if I were to show her 
this stuff. 

>> Mike, (Smarter than Al, or just better looking? You be the judge)
> 
> Case dismissed. Throw the bozo in the hole. 
> 
Ah... so you don't deny either charge? hmm.. Al ol' boy, jealosy will get you
nowhere.

Mike
From: isbell@osiris.cso.uiuc.edu (Andy Isbell)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mechanics and their ilk
Date: 19 Aug 92 16:56:39 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:

>did you check the odometer? maybe they went joy riding in your hot rod...?

peeve:  I forgot to do this last time I took my car in.

>peeve: when the mechanic changes the radio station.

I'll go you one better (or maybe three.)  Not only did they change the station,
they changed all but one of my station presets.  My clock was also an hour fast
and the air conditioner was left on.  I hardly ever use the A/C, and it wasn't
even hot that day.  To top it all off, the part they were supposed to put on my
car to correct the defect (aren't manufacturer's recalls wonderful?) was
cracked when they took it out of the box.  Now I have to go back when they get
another one and trust these bozos with my car again.

>-l "car people. feh." p

Yeah, what she said!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andy Isbell		                             isbell@osiris.cso.uiuc.edu
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Grandpa Charnock's Law:
	You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.tasteless