From: an2883@anon.penet.fi
Subject: Sex After Marriage
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: soc.couples
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 18:01:52 GMT

X-Anon-To: soc.couples


I have posted to two other groups on this topic and have recieved
some interesting replies. I was unaware that this group existed
and realize that it is where I probably should have posted to
begin with. Based on the responses I've had so far, the situation
I describe is probably normal for most marriages so I should
probably stop complaining. I have recieved some great advice so
far but would like a few more veiwpoints. This will be my last
post on the subject(Thank goodness).


I am a married male in my early 30's with a beautifull loving wife
who is no longer interested in sex. On the rare occasions we do have
sex it is akward, brief and unfuffilling. We had great sex before
we were married . Our overall phsyical relationship is about zero. 
I love to just cuddle and hold her (without it being a warmup for sex) 
but she even resists that. She dosen't think we have a problem and gets 
angry whenever I bring the topic up. I realize that I could be the
problem but she won't discuss it so I ther's no way of knowing. 

For the record, I have never nor would I consider cheating on
her, I am considered attractive, I don't drink or smoke, I have
good hygene habits, and I'm it excellant physical condition.
She tells me again and again that she is attracted to me but
I haven't felt attractive to her in years. I know that she is
not having an affair as has been suggested by some because I
trust her and because it would be almost immpossible for her
to do so without me knowing it. I treat her with the upmost
respect and try to romance her athough her reception to being
romanced has also declined.

We have one child but that is not the cause of this problem it
has only made the problem worse. We had three years where it was
just the two of us and this problem was very evident during this
period. Exhaustion do to our child is mearly her most recent reason
for not wanting to do it. In the past the reasons have ranged from
job stress(she now stays home with the child) to needing to
get the household chores done(I help) I realize that these reasons
are valid some of the time but when scooping up the dog dew-dew in
the yard (yes it has happened) takes priority over having sex I think
something is wrong

We have reached the point now where sex is probably the lowest priority 
item in our marriage(to her at least). Again, she thinks our sex life
is fine and becomes angry when I suggest it is not. The frequency of
our sex has gone from about once a week when we were first married
to once every couple months since our child was born. The quality as
well as quantity has declined. If this sounds normal then please tell me. 

I realize that interest in sex is going to decline in any relationship 
but I really feel like ours(hers) has declined far too much far too
fast. The biggest problem is that my interest remains very strong and
that makes for alot of frustration on my part.


I'd be interested in hearing a female point of view on this but
am open to any comments via annonymous e-mail. 

Annonymous E-mail address: an2883@anon.penet.fi

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