From: Rannou@info.polymtl.ca (Patrick Rannou)
Subject: Re: Son of the Munchkin Guide
Organization: Ecole Polytechnique de Montreal, Canada
	<Btuyy8.175@apollo.hp.com>
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 22:21:22 GMT




FAVE WARRIOR ACTIVITIES:
    *Real Men* like to charge and fight the big monster one-on-one.
    *Real Roleplayers* like talking during the fight.
    *Loonies* like to swing their two handed sword when there
              are other PCs just beside them.
    *Munchkins* like to do a lot of damage.


FAVE THIEF ACTIVITIES:

    *Real Men* like to go scouting alone and pick the gems.
    *Real Roleplayer* like to make sure nobody notice they are thieves
                      until the campaign is over.
    *Loonies* like to steal the party blind and tell everybody
              that they are thieves.
    *Munchkins" like to backstab every round with their poisoned
                +17 two-handed vorpal sword while invisible.


FAVE PRIEST ACTIVITY:

    *Real Men* like to tell their deity's name a lot.
    *Real Roleplayer* like to actually move further their god's
                      cause and way of life.
    *Loonies* shout that it's their own god's fault everytime
              something bad happens.
    *Munchkins* like the fact that they can both fight and cast spells
                (and of course thus be able to do a lot of damage).


FAVE MAGE ACTIVITY:

    *Real Men* like to do spellcasting.
    *Real Rolelplayers* like to do spell research.
    *Loonies* like the fact that they can be flashy and walk outside
              in their pijamas and nightrobes.
    *Munchkins* like to find SpellBooks of Many Many Many Spells Inside
                (and of course cast spells that do a lot of damage).


FAVE BARD-TYPE CHARACTER:

    *Real Men* like <???>.
    *Real Roleplayers* like <???>.
    *Loonies* like Assurancetourix.
    *Munchkins* like Drizz't Do Urden.


FAVE ST:TNG EPISODE:

    *Real Men* liked Darmok.
    *Real Roleplayers* liked the Inner Light.
    *Loonies* liked The Cost of Living.
    *Munchkins* would like to see Kirk in action again.


FAVE RANGER-TYPE CHARACTER:

    *Real Men* like Robin Hood.
    *Real Roleplayer* like any of of the Merri Men.
    *Loonies* like Mowgli or Huckleberri Finn
    *Munchkins* like Conan.


FAVE RANGER'S FAMILIAR:

    *Real Men* like wolves, falcons, and war horses.
    *Real Roleplayer* like dogs, owl, or a baby bear.
    *Loonies* like chihuahas, giant bees, and fishes.
    *Munchkins* like saber tooth tigers, grizzli bears, or rocs.


FAVE PALADIN'S OATH IN A MEDIEVAL FANTASY SETTING:

    *Real Men* say "I, Real Man, Swear to Uphold Truth, Justice,
                    and the Real Man way!"
    *Real Roleplayers* say "One for all, All for one!" or an actual
                       replica of an historical oath.
    *Loonies* say "The more the merrier!"
    *Munchkins* say "This is a job for... SuperMunchkin!"
                or "In Brightest Day, in Darkest Night, no Evil
                shall escape my sight, GREEN BASTARD MIGHT!"


FAVE NECROMANCER SPELL FOR NON-NECROMANCER CHARACTERS:

    *Real Men* don't like Necromancers.
    *Real Roleplayers* stick to healing magics whenever possible.
    *Loonies* like to Teleport to the Plane of Negative Energy.
    *Munchkins* like to cast Power Word: "Kill, Slay, and Destroy Soul
                Forever" (pronounciation of the word: MUNCHKIN).


MOST COMMON SAYING WHEN FACED BY A VERY BIG NASTY MONSTER MORE POWERFUL
THAN THE PARTY:

    *Real Men* say "Die, you evil fiend! I do no fear death, nor you!".
    *Real Roleplayers* say "Huh, couldn't we discuss this a little? I'm
                       sure it's all just a little misunderstanding...".
    *Loonies* say "Shut up, you ugly rotten scumbag, cause 
                   you stink too much when ya talk!". Or they start laughing.
    *Munchkins* never meet monsters more powerful than themselves. In the
                rare case they do, the last thing they say is:
                "I disbelieve!"


FAVE ROLEPLAYING STYLE:

    *Real Men* like using dices, without excess.
    *Real Roleplayers* like diceless RPG systems.
    *Loonies* like dices, but for throwing, not rolling.
    *Munchkins* don't know the difference between rollplaying
                and roleplaying: They say they do the latter,
                but we know best...


FAVE USE OF RULES:

    *Real Men* like rules which depict "realistically" an heroic
               reality.
    *Real Roleplayers* like rules that are guidelines and allow
                       for much GM fdlexibility.
    *Loonies* always end up doing something stupid anyway, so
              why bother about rules, huh?
    *Munchkins* like to keep only the rules that give them the
                most plusses.



FAVE EVIL DRAGON:
    *Real Men* fight Red Dragons and flee Tiamath.
    *Real Roleplayers* flee to another continent whenever they hear
                       the word "dragon" (or Groo, for that matter).
    *Loonies* fight Faerie Dragons and flee from Dragon Beetles.
    *Munchkins* take on Tiamat as an appetizer and then go to the real
                fight: The Quantum Plasma-Nuclear DodecaHeaded Dragon.


FAVE WAY TO USE GRENADES:

    *Real Men* like to throw them at the last moment and blow the enemy
               in the face with them.
    *Real Roleplaywers* like to throw them very soon in order to make
                        enemies flee, or to use them a la MacGyver with
                        scoth tape in 1001 uses, like a door opener, etc.
    *Loonies* uses them as firecrackers.
    *Munchkins* like to blow whole planets with them.


FAVE GIANT:
    *Real Men* fight Stone Giants.
    *Real Roleplayers* talk to Storm Giants.
    *Loonies* start shouting "I killed 7 in one shot!"
              whenever they enter a village plagued by a giant.
    *Munchkins* polymorph themselves into giants, then quaff
                a potion of grow to double size, then have the mage cast
                an enlarge on them, THEN use their own artifact's
                major power with disad "+10% growth with each use"
                several times over, THEN they crush any giant they
                meet under their sandaled feet (by the way, it's a
                pair of sandals +17 of Crushing & Stomping).


FAVE ARTEFACT:

    *Real Men* like the Invulnerable Coat of Arnd.
    *Real Roleplayers* know better and don't mess with Artifacts.
    *Loonies* like to play every tune they know on the
              Incredible Organ of Lum the Mad.
    *Munckins* think that anything less powerful than a Ring of GM
               control or a Sword of Planet Dicing, or an EverFull
               Cavern of 1,000,000 GP gems doesn't deserve the
               title "artifact".


FAVE SLIME:

    *Real Men* like Black Pudding.
    *Real Roleplayers* think Munchkins are slime.
    *Loonies* like to swim in green puddles.
    *Munckins* like the one which gets them the most XPs.


FAVE COMBAT TACTICS:

    *Real Men* charge and fight one on one with the toughest nasty.
    *Real Roleplayers* cooperate and plan in advance.
    *Loonies* do it completely wrong and wreck the plan.
    *Munchkins* say "boo" and the monsters die of fright.


BEST RUSH ON THE EGO IS DONE WHEN THE:

    *Real Men* vanquish their dedicated foe after a long and hardous quest.
    *Real Roleplayers* have their PC fall in love with another PC.
    *Loonies* make the whole group of players laugh so much 
              everybody rolls under the table.
    *Munchkins* succeed at rolling a super-blasto-neato-critical hit
                which does quintuple damage, and with their gauntlets
                of double damage, their strength, and everything else,
                succeed at slaying (with much gore) the 3000 HP demon's
                head in a single blow.


LESS LIKED SITUATIONS:

    *Real Men* don`t like it when the Loonies make them appear stupid.
    *Real Roleplayers* don't like it when the party includes a munchkin.
    *Loonies* don't like it when the Real Men take revenge on them by
              hacking their PC to pieces.
    *Munchkins* don't like it when the Real Roleplayers meet anything
                and start talking to it.


MOST COMMON SAYING IN THESE SITUATIONS:

    *Real Men* say "It's the last time you do this!"
    *Real Roleplayers* say "Aw, no... yawn! OK, Jack, you go up front."
                       (to GM) "I put poison on my dagger and stick
                       VERY close to him..."
    *Loonies* say "I won`t do it again, I promise!"
    *Munchkins* say "It's booooooring: nothing happens. Duh."


MOST COMMON TOUGHTS ABOUT A USELESS FIGHT SITUATION:

    *Real Men* think "I shall prove my bravery.".
    *Real Roleplayers* think "Not another one...".
    *Loonies* think "Damn, I didn't bring enough pies!".
    *Munchkins* think "Alright! A fray! Come Rufferto!".



Correct anyone you want...

--
/---------------------------\
| Patrick "Paradak" Rannou. |
| Rannou@info.polymtl.ca    |
\---------------------------/

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