From: case@diku.dk (Steven Kj{r Snedker)
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless,soc.culture.usa
Subject: Gee Mom, ah wish ah had a Ronald MacDonald Clown Mask
Summary: losing face...once again
Keywords: soc.culture.plastic, alt.legal-system.parody, my boys lollipop
Date: 9 Apr 92 09:18:36 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, U of Copenhagen

Ah, the blessings of thrash-TV! I was searching the airwaves for entertaintment 
and found it. Accidentally I stumbled into "Jack Vance vs. Judas Priest". This
fine programme was a true story about some idiot who blew most of his face off,
survived and along with his parents sued Judas Priest. I am very sad that I
have not got a gif of this lad who had shot off his whole jaw, nose and
forehead, as he looked like a cross between The Elephant Man and a rubber
vagina.

  Picture Pigshit Falls, Nevada, a town where everybody believes strongly in the
Lord in this very perverse way you only find in rural Merka.  I will not go into
detail about the particular fundamentalist mockery of christianity these
fuckwits adhered to, only remark that if their central quote from the bible
wasn't 'Handle poisonous snakes' surely it must have been 'Avoid wrong thoughts'
-the foolproof way.  This is where our 18 year old hero Jack lives with his
parents.  His mother is a born again believer, and frequents this church where
all are either obese or pregnant, and have sermons where the cunts can hop up
and down, speak in tongues, wave their arms and shout 'Halleluja!' whenever they
please.  His mother is in other words a brainless lardcube.  His likewise
braindead fathers sole function in the home is to earn some money and beat up
the children.  Little Jack is unfortunately exactly what one would expect a
coupling of these two lardpuppets to be:  A very stupid young man.  Leaving
school at 15 his main interests are getting drunk, stoned and beaten up by his
thick-as-shit father. And Judas Priest, an old fart english heavy metal band.
Being without work he has plenty of time to teach a me-aint-got-no-future-
friend and his own kitchen-church-mall-TV mother the joys of Judas Priest.  The
mothers verdict is 'possessed' whereas the friend is more enthusiastic, and one
fine evening Jack and the friend blow off their heads with a shotgun.  The only
smart move Jack has ever made, but he fucks up and removes his face instead of
his brain.  After this short synopsis the real aversion therapy commence.  
The programme then has footage of:

O  A sermon in the church. Brainless people waddling around shouting 'Jesus!'
for no apparent reason, occasionally reaching for the sky.

O  Mamma Vance having a 'deep' conversation with the priest in which they find
out that she has been a good christian woman and mother, and that Satan is to
blame.

O  Jack Vance eating. He has only one tooth left and no lips. His nose is big
though. Watching him talk is also a spellbinding experience, the hole moves in
ways that could give a dead man a boner. If he had his arms and legs removed he
would be the perfect prostitute, and the source of numerous new tasteless sex
acts.

O  Mamma Vance telling Jack 'Well, if ah hadn't prayed to the Lord, you'd been
dead now'. Fortunately Jack was able to correct this error 2 years later, when
he OD'd on some medicine.

O  Youths at the town square/mall car park some friday night shouting 'I want to
be somebody, I want to get rich and famous' and 'If there was some work we
wouldn't hang around here' at the camera. Apalling. Some peoples culturally
dependant stupidity never cease to astound me. How can parents manage to raise
such snot?

O  A L.A. Law style doctor telling the court how backward messages can lead
people to suicide. He has even sampled alledged 'Do it!'s from Judas Priest
albums and unmasks some backward messages for some incomprehensible reason.
One reveals itself to be the gruelling sentence 'I asked her for a
peppermint...'.

O  Judas Priest fans talking about their life.

O  Mamma and Pappa Vance talking about their life sitting in the couch in front
of the TV.

Although I've always been more a fan of Grand Guignol than Theatre Pathetique, I
have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed this 50 min. long evidence of abyssmal
stupidity and futility.
There has only been one neuclear bomb test in Nevada this year.  Sadly they
missed.
Xref: sparky soc.culture.usa:2921 soc.culture.canada:3365