From: bill@rchland.vnet.ibm.com ()
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 20:55:38 GMT
Reply-To: bill@tran.fishkill.ibm.com ()
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: IBM T.J. Watson Research Center

In article <15932@auspex-gw.auspex.com>, johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
writes:
> In article <1992Dec16.014405.5579@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg
Skinner) writes:
> >In article <15916@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John
Fereira) writes:
> |>In article <1992Dec15.192027.25721@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu
(Greg Skinner) writes:
> |>|I thought this was the 90's, and we were in the process of throwing
> |>|out old antiquated notions, like traditional dating.
> |>Old antiquated notion that it is, some people still enjoy it.
> |
> |% unlurk
> |
> |Well, they have a right to do whatever they want, I suppose.  However,
> |I have a right to express my opinion.  If someone claims that I have
> |no class because I don't offer to pay on a date ...
> 
> That "no class" crack really has twisted the panties of a few net.men here.
> Let's go over the scenario once again.
> 
> A women is asked out by a man that she does not know well.  Since they
> are not currently good friends, homeboys, or otherwise, let us assume that
> this is considered a date.
> 
> The man picks her up and takes her to a restaurant for dinner.  She has
> not selected the restaurant.  She orders as she would normally do, and lets
> say the total bill comes to $60 without the tip.
> 
> The man then asked the woman for $30 but said "I'll get the tip."
> 
> It was the womans opinion that this man has no class and I agree with her.  
> That's the scenario she described and "going out with the homeboys" is not
> the thing.
> 
> | (and as I have stated,
> |I do offer to pay on dates quite often), I have the right to claim
> |that they are not being considerate of my feelings if they do not
> |offer to pay for a part of the date.
>  
> |>|When I ask someone out, I expect to pay, but I appreciate it when they
> |>|offer to pay part or all of their way, or leave the tip.
> |>Do fill out a Pre-Dinner contract to negotiate percentages before
> |>ordering? 
> |

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I haven't been ableUnread news in soc.women
                                  1 article 
 to read s.s in a few days, but I had been following the pre-sex
contract thread. This one cracks me up.  BWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


> |I do not see what contracts have to do with a simple act of
> |consideration.
>  
> Have you been following the Pre-Sex contract thread?  The date is supposed
> to be a romantic (possibly) encounter with someone and negotiating how
> it is going to be paid for sound more like a business transaction.  Just
> what percentage of the tab is it necessary for a woman to come up with to
> avoid hurting your feelings. 50%,  30%?  Is 15% enough?
> 
> |>|To me, it shows they have some consideration for my feelings.  I am
> |>|a lot less likely to go on a second date with someone who does not
> |>|offer to pay a little, or offer to pay next time, etc.
> |>Go on many second dates, Greg?
> |
> |Not with people who I don't believe have any consideration for my
> |feelings.
> |
> |>|When someone asks me out, I at least offer to pay the tip, or pay for
> |>|dessert.  It's a sign of consideration for the other person's feelings.
> |>There's a phrase that I use: "It's my treat", which means this entire 
> |>pleasurable (hopefully) experience is on me.  This is my treat to you.
> |>No Pre-Dinner contract necessary.
> |
> |As I said before, it has nothing to do with contracts; it has to do
> |with consideration for the other person's feelings, which I believe
> |was one of the reasons Lauren stated *for* offering to pay on a date.
> |It's the difference between blithely letting someone spend money on
> |you, and acknowledging that they're spending money on you, and saying
> |"hey, I understand, let me share a little of the burden."
>  
> I would much prefer a "Thank you very much for dinner tonight.  I had
> a wonderful time", and maybe a kiss on the cheek than 25% of the tab and
> a handshake.
> 

Yea, well, I'd rather have this too, but ultimately, it's the woman's choice. 	

Here's a question for you s.s'ers. In the instances where your date
offers to pay for part of the date (say, on a first date), how many of
these dates lead on to something beyond friendship? And to those who do
the offering, are you more inclined to offer when you are interested in
further romance, or just friendship???		



> -- 
> +==========================================================================+
> | John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
> | johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
> +==========================================================================+

bill the cat....
Newsgroups: soc.singles