HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.flame,alt.religion.kibology,alt.slack
Subject: Re: CARASSO: MALE EXOTIC DANCERS
Date: 21 Jul 92 10:17:58 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


In article <lefty-200792094959@lefty.apple.com> lefty@apple.com (Lefty)
writes:

#  Were you aware that "no va" means "it doesn't go" in Spanish?

Yes, but apparently the Ford Motor Company wasn't.

-- Ken "That's the name sorted out; now, what colour should it have
        been?" Johnson

-- 
                          ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
We won't be meeting again ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
On the slow train,        ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
On the slow train.        ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mccall@mksol.dseg.ti.com (fred j mccall 575-3539)
Subject: Lullibies, Ltd.
Organization: Texas Instruments, Inc
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 15:45:52 GMT


Responding to only the parts that are intelligent.

In article <nqaf9no@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@eno.corp.sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>---
>mccall@mksol.dseg.ti.com (fred j mccall 575-3539) writes:
>|I'm perfectly willing to keep sending these
>|back forever.  In fact, if it becomes necessary, I guess it could
>|always be automated.
>
>Poor Fred.  For every one of you, there's ten of us.  Now,
>get those monkeys to work typing something with some content,
>now, Fred!  Give us happy artists in t.b some political fodder.
>You can't expect the kind of quality t.b posting you so enjoy
>reading if all you do is quote included text.
>
>C'mon, Fred.  Help us entertain you.
>
>---
>cj@eno.corp.sgi.com    C J Silverio/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720
>"He must be an oddity, I think," said she.  "I cannot make him out.  
>There is something very pompous in his style.  Can he be a sensible 
>man, sir?"  --Pride & Prejudice. 


Hmm, seems CJ's only intelligence lives in his .sig.  He keeps posting
these great things that apply to him.

-- 
"Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live
 in the real world."   -- Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fred.McCall@dseg.ti.com - I don't speak for others and they don't speak for me.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson)
Subject: Re: And today's winner, with the most followups
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 27 Jul 92 10:36:30 CDT

In article <5744@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil>, rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
|> Christine Nelson????

uh-uh...not me.

c
 

+===============================================================+
Christine Nelson           Going out of my mind...   
nelson@eastrg1                     ...back in 5 minutes.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (BoBteCh)
Subject: Naked City Hep
Organization: sulphur & oxygen
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 14:46:44 GMT




"Gotta admit, I'm *really* lost."

BoB
teCh
sorry, nj

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Dennis Miller cancelled
Keywords: fuck oh fuck oh fuck
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 04:34:14 GMT

This really pisses me off.  What the fuck am I gonna do between
12:00 and 1:00?  I'd rather sleep that watch Leno, but that is like
saying I'd rather not drown in my own vomit.

But more importantly, will Nick Bakay be forced to return to _Night After 
Night_ with that dreary Havey dweeb?

"Oh, the pain, the pain." -- Dr Smith
--
kschnitzius@encore.com			"lost in media"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: waldbyjf@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU
Subject: Gambatte imasu
Reply-To: waldbyjf@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 17:46:55 GMT

Last night I had a dream, the contents of which I have forgotten. My
head spun about, rotating about my Medulla Oblengata, without cause
or explanation. I could only take in pieces of my surroundings as they
were flying by at a great speed. There was some purpose laying hidden
inside the congealing darkness which prodded me subtly. A voice began
to speak in tongues, a language of the future, with a hint of the past.
It reached out to me echoing and surrounding gingerly my center. 

I became aware of the outside and its cold light. I wanted to return to
my coffee haven - to be alone and free to do as I wish without the scorn
and contempt from the foolish and uncaring ones. This was impossible, for
the exit had closed behind me and I was exposed. Wind tore through me,
stealing pieces of my body and stretching me horizontally. I was 
dissolved.

I saw the school bus drive by, yellow and fearsome. Children were crushed
underneath its black tires, not screaming but writhing in pain. It must 
not have noticed my presence for I was a third party. I don'
t think I was really there at all.

There was a great fire burning with dark greasy smoke spiraling into the
sky. From the fire emerged 20 dogs with blood red eyes. Their names were
secrets long lost in the past, and now are only known as the Hunters, as
none can escape their sense of smell. Again I watched as an outsider,
invisible to all, as the dogs carried out the task for which they had
come. After it was finished, the dogs set upon themselves, biting and
tearing until all were gone. As the last one fell, a great silence fell,
and remained into eternity.

After a great time, the stars and earth winked out of existence, and all
energy was expended through the hole in the universe. Again I returned to
my coffee parlor to spend the days. I was at peace.

--
Julian Waldby
waldbyjf@rosevc.rose-hulman.edu
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:22855 alt.flame:11286
From: bur@ultisol.gsfc.nasa.gov (MAC)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.flame
Subject: Rob Dobson for President
Date: 22 Jul 92 19:51:18 GMT
Organization: Yes.




Well Robby 'ol boy, you asked for it, so here it is.  Rob's last batch of
postings on t.b and how they fared on the t.b scale:






Before we get into that I will again summarize.  Well Rob, you fared
better than Gooley, but you are not the t.b poster child nor will you
ever be.  Out of 14 posts, 5 were original.  You averaged about
a 3 on the t.b scale, but that was a "strong" 3.  You showed signs
of potential, but that was followed by lameness.  You need to give
that 'F' key a rest.  Your posts are not any different that the other
DEADWEIGHT posts, they just aren't as heavy.




(Hey, don't take my word for it, read'em yourself.  Long.)


Article 25732 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: Mcdonalds as the seventh sign of the apocalypse.
Followup-To: rec.pets.bacteria 
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 12:42:08 GMT


> frankl@torag.guild.org (Frank Lemire) writes:
>>>
>>>	 The local Mcdonalds are now offering two tasty (NOT!) new menu
>>>choices.  Breakfast Burritos and yes, my favorite, Beef Fajitas, just what the
>>>consumer wanted!  What the hell is the world coming to?  Mcdonalds making
>>>mexican food?  They can't even make American food, which they invented!
>>>
>>>	Please god, don't tell me next it will be ...... Steak Tartar!
>>>


No, the next two Mickey D's offerings:
McTripe and....

McSweet breads.

Lets here what the critics say about them...


>I had some at a McDonalds in Kingston, Ontario.   Not bad.
>
>Paul Hargrove, speaking for myself.

those crazy canadians! theyll eat anything!




---A followup.  Lame.  0/10 on the t.b scale.

Article 25733 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: complete the sentence
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 13:00:49 GMT

>>>sho@gibbs.physics.purdue.edu (Sho Kuwamoto) writes:
>>>>Complete the following sentence:
>>>>   ________ is the ________ of the 90's.

Cynicism is the greed of the 90s.

Dan Quayle is the asshole of the 90s.

George Bush is the Herbert Hoover of the 90s.

McCauley Culkin is the Scott Baio of the 90s.

GNR are the Van Halen of the 90s.

GNR are the Spinal Tap of the 90s.

Booze is the crack of the 90s.

Booze is the junk of the 90s.

Washington DC is the Sodom and Gomorrah of the 90s.

Microwave ovens are the backbone of the 90s.




---A followup.  Not as lame as the first.  3/10 on the t.b scale.

Article 25738 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: Wavey's Piles                           
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 13:39:51 GMT

In article <memo.529995@cix.compulink.co.uk> dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk writes:
>
>My piles are large and hairy. What is the best way to deal with them?

this condition is caused by posting to talk.bizarre.

stop posting immediately and youll feel better.

-dr fraud




---Another followup.  A lame flame.  1/10

Article 25739 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: Sexy                                    
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 14:23:07 GMT

dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk  (Wavey Davey) spews the following smegma:
>
>I am the sexiest man in Great Britain.
>

If you are so sexy, please go get laid so that the urge you feel to spew your
foul wad on t.b. will be reduced. asshole.

ps Prince Charles is sexier than you.




---Another followup.  A better flame.  2/10 on the t.b scale.

Article 25749 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: LAME-O-RAMA
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 15:04:03 GMT

In article <1992Jul19.155934.3650@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (rpwhite) writes:
>
>Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?

Cool, cool, cool. Not only are people quoting Monty Python, AND lame Val
Kilmer movies, AND saying "NOT!", now they are quoting Pink Floyd.

TRES TRES TRES BIZARRE!

please wait until you (or at least your musical tastes) have graduated from
high school before posting again.



---Another followup.  A flame.  2/10 on the t.b scale.

Article 25761 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Stupidest Products
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 15:44:21 GMT

Rather than quote monty python, i thought id take a walk down the aisles
of your local grocery store, as we examine some of the most useless, worthless
prodcuts devised by our capitalist, convinience worshipping society. And
of course i realize wavey davey is the most worthless *thing* on the planet,
but luckily he hasnt made the grocery store yet.

Cheeze-Whiz Zap Packs. For those of you too stupid to take the cheeze-whiz
out of a jar, and put it in a bowl before nuking it, Kraft is kind enough
to sell these pre-measured packets of cheeze whiz. OH BOY.

Bee Pollen--yeah, its supposed to be good for you. Right.

Frozen, Microwaveable Hamburgers, already in the bun. YUMMMMM.

"Kiss of Mint" mint flavored condoms. YUMMMM. DOUBLE YUMMM.




---An original.  Contains flamage.  6/10 on the t.b scale.  BTW, about
   those condoms...er...oh, nevermind.

Article 25762 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Definition of talk.* groups
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 16:25:47 GMT


"tending to feature long discussions without resolution and
without appreciable amounts of generally useful info."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

talk.bizarre, the pinnacle of the talk.* hierarchy!




---An origional.  Lame.  0/10.

Article 25774 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Why are Men so shallow? She whines
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 16:37:50 GMT

awhenan@physics.adelaide.edu.au (Ashley Whenan) whines in alt.personals:
>Hi there,
>	about 6 weeks ago I placed an add in the personals.  I got hundreds of
>replies, but from all of them only three were not completely sick, very boring
>or very shallow.  Is this the representation of males in the world?  I want to
>hear from some real men.  Not a bunch of oversexed computer geeks.  
>
>Write soon.
>	  Ashley.

OVERSEXED COMPUTER GEEKS???

Is there such a thing?
If there were, would they read alt.personals?

And then, some brave alt.personals soul responds:

Well, Ashley, since you were sick, boring and shallow enough to label
people with a cheap stereotypical label, perhaps your ad appealed to
that type?

Sure, there are plenty of immature people on this and other nets.

NO WAY!!!@!@#@ NONE OF THAT SORT ON T.B.

However, I've found that by carefully stating your case in your personals
ad, you can give clear signals about who you are really looking for.

Be clearer in your next post about what you are looking (or not looking)
for.  There are people on this net who don't bat at an eye at offering
to perform various acts without even knowing the name of their respondent.
They are easily deleted on the net.

Not Complaining,

Mysti

MYSTI?!?!?!?! What the fuck kind of name is that? Is this really carasso in
disguise??

-rob




---Another followup.  Quasi-flame.  1/10

Article 25788 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Loser Couple of the Year
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1992 19:54:37 GMT

Ok, dork male posts the lyrics of I Do it for You, by Bryan Adams. The kind
of song that makes 8th graders go ga-ga and try to slow dance. The thing is,
his dork girlfriend thinks its great. IM NOT MAKING THIS UP!!!

ssalter@silver once again shows why I love him so:

>
>I Do It For You
>(Music and Lyrics by Bryan Adams)
>
>
>Yeahh, I would fight for you
>I'll lie for you
>Walk the wild for you
>Yeahh, I'll die for you
>
>You know it's true
>Everything I do oooo I do it for you
>


Thank you.  I love you Steven.

Julie


SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT THESE TWO, BEFORE THEY CAUSE INSULIN SHOCK IN ANY
DIABETICS UNFORTUNATE ENUF TO BE READING THIS.




---Another followup.  Flame.  1/10.

Article 25902 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Cool Redneck Hats
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 13:25:06 GMT

In article <6986@skye.ed.ac.uk> ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson) writes:
>
>
>#  Were you aware that "no va" means "it doesn't go" in Spanish?
>
>Yes, but apparently the Ford Motor Company wasn't.
>
Sorry, but a nova is a chevy, big guy.
Leave it to a brit not to know the difference.

ObBizarre: Have you ever seen those oh-so-cool redneck hats that say
"Id rather push a chevy than drive a ford"? I have a feeling these types
of hats are indigenous to america. Of course, the best such hat is the
one that says "Sex is like bridge: You either need a good partner or a
good hand." Ha ha ha

Actually seen for sale in a Shell station in Verbena, Alabama.I am not
making this up.




---Lame followup.  0/10.

Article 25942 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: More Distortions
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 16:48:51 GMT

I NEVER said I thought we should reduce the national deficit by selling
'rape passes' which would allow people to freely rape Special Olympics
participants and nuns. This is more propaganda from the Republican dirty
tricks machine.


 


---An original.  A good original.  8/10 on the t.b scale.

Article 25993 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: show us your tits, tina
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 20:54:33 GMT


someone yelled that when i was watching 'stop making sense' at a theater

she didnt.


---Luke warm original.  3/10.

Article 26122 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: Dennis Miller cancelled
Keywords: fuck oh fuck oh fuck
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 14:49:04 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.043414.11520@encore.com> kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius) writes:
>This really pisses me off.  What the fuck am I gonna do between
>12:00 and 1:00?

for those of us with lives, this is no problem. in fact, i didnt even know
it had happened, although i knew it would. I mean, if pat sajak cant make it,
how do we expect dennis to? but for you kevin, some suggestions of what to
do between 12:00 and 1:00.

1.fuck
2.smoke dope
3.drink tequila
4.engage in strange self-mutilation rituals
5.read
6.masturbate while thinking about the lame shit youll spew on tb the next
day
7.hang around a 7-11 and mumble at passerby.
8.drive around without your headlights on and see how many times you get
stopped
9.play cards
10.play yahtzee
11.snort coke

etc.....




---Followup.  Flame.  2/10.

Article 26140 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Lyric Poetry
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 16:18:35 GMT


Ahh, what is more delightful than a cool day in july
the breeze blowing, the veil of humidity lifted for a day
the girl at the front desk,
still braless
adds another bit of joy to my day

and yet i still see
people driving round with bush/quayle stickers
people who believe
fellatio is immoral
people who lie awake all night
worrying about fags

and me, swimming in a vat of tequila and lime juice
kathy lee crosby, naked, swimming too
armed guards watch our prison camp
to make sure geraldo does not get out 
or oprah in
or geraldo into oprah

oh well, 103 words. its ok, though, im not a newbie....

-rob




---An original but, actually a followup to the 100 word contest for newbies.
   not *too* bad.  5/10.

Article 26153 of talk.bizarre:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: ROB FOR PRESIDENT '92--the first press conference
Organization: University of Virginia
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 16:43:02 GMT


"Mr Dobson...."

"Please, call me Rob."

"Ok, Rob, now that youve announced your candidacy, are you prepared to
explain your actions in 1986, when you allegedly tried to email .gifs of
Nancy Reagans breast, which we all know contained the launch codes for
our nuclear weapons, to the Soviet embassy?"

"Ahhh, a youthful indescretion. You see, I had smoked too much crack after
the Young Gay Communist Atheists Club meeting, and I was out of control.
I have since apologized. Nancy, of course, was on the receving end of a very
special apology, if you know what I mean."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we all know what a good cocksucker she is...."

"I see. Now lets move on to July 4, 1989. Is it true that in the middle of
the Independence Day celebrations on the mall in DC, you performed a satanic
ritual by which you called up the ghost of Marilyn Monroe, and proceeded to
sodomize her in front of the huge crowd that was present?"

"Yes, that is true. But i didnt inhale."

"What are you views on foreign policy and the military?"

"Well, i think it is time to move away from government sponsored rape, which
was the best part of the gulf war, and privatize this."

"I see. And what of your alleged drug problems?"

"Drug problems?! Drug problems? The only problem I have is finding good
dope in the summer. Get out of my sight, all of you, the press conference
is over, its time for my beauty nap."


After this, Rob skyrockets in the polls.....




---An original.  7/10.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ucsatsd@ucl.ac.uk (-8  Big Bad Bob (B3)  8-)
Newsgroups: uk.politics,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: David Mellor
Date: 24 Jul 92 16:45:46 GMT
Organization: The HRC

In article <1992Jul22.214425.9808@pyra.co.uk> maura@pyra.co.uk (Maura Clark) writes:
>In <6996@skye.ed.ac.uk> ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson) writes:

>>I still can't imagine what she sees in David Mellor. 
>Maybe he has a big willy.


Nope, he hasn't. That's not it.
Maybe she likes slugs?

--
                                  |   "Everything is true, even false things."
        *****     B3     *****    | "Even false things? How can that be??"
                                  |   "Dont ask me man, I didn't do it!"
    | ucsatsd@ucl.ac.uk // perhaps via nsf.ac.uk if you get desperate..... |  
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Subject: Short shameful confession
Organization: autonomic nervous system
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 21:20:03 GMT


Thirty-one line killfile for talk.bizarre.


AjD
in a way i regret the tone of mean-spiritedness i've injected into
talk.bizarre, by posting killfiles, by flaming people and so forth.
it's not that they didn't deserve it, but now for some reason all
that seems to have become the norm these days, and i apologise for
having been one part of the masses which have contributed to the
peer pressure.  i'm gonna stop now.
From: zed@silver.lcs.mit.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep believes in employee empowerment
Date: 31 Jul 92 17:27:19 GMT
Organization: Liars for Truth
Originator: zed@silver.lcs.mit.edu

He asks his boss for X-ray vision.

-- 
zed@silver.lcs.mit.edu     Metaphysical Help: $.05         The Philosopher Is
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Another Innovation
Summary: I am currently reading "U & I" by Nicholson Baker, but that's irrelevant
Keywords: innovations catalogue
Date: Mon, 20 Jul 92 14:26:01 BST
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

                       No more stumbling in the night!

A bright safety idea from the USA, NiteMates slippers feature wide-angle
torch lights built into the toes with on/off switches cleverly located in the
heels!

Just like ordinary slippers they're always there at your bedside -- except
whenever you switch them on, your night-time trips are illuminated.
Super-bright krypton bulbs and contoured lenses produce powerful beams
lighting up the darkest stairs and hallways.

Beautifully comfortable, NiteMates have plush black terry cloth uppers, and
lightweight flexible composite EVA soles with a yellow highlight. The light
lenses unsnap for quick and easy battery and bulb fitting/replacement.
Available in three sizes: Small (5.5--7), Medium (7.5--9) and Large
(9.5--11). Require 4xAA batteries (not included). The ultimate gift for 1992!

                    -- Innovations Catalogue Summer 1992.

mathew
-- 
This disclaimer does not represent the views of Mantis Consultants Ltd

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton