From: figmo@borland.com (Lynn Gold)
Subject: Speaking of unappetizing subjects....
Organization: The Burn the Candle at Both Ends Club
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 21:53:55 GMT

After seeing Joe's songs, I figured this group could use the chords
and lyrics to a song I wrote at the very end of ConChord this year.
It was inspired by a remark made by Robin Baylor about the "wonderful"
food at the hotel restaurant:  "We'd be better off at the 'Road Kill Cafe.'

The service was so slow that this song was started after we ordered
and 90% written by the end of dinner.

The chorus changes ever so slightly each time it's sung; hence the
repeated chords.

Anyhow, here it is....

--Lynn

P.S.--If I get the guts up, I may be performing it tonight at the
Freight and Salvage in Berkeley....

**********************************************************************

			    Road Kill Cafe
			  (c) 1992 Lynn Gold

[Intro: D / G / D G D]

            G
There is a place you can go
          D
When you want to grab a bite to eat
               A
You'll find it on the road
        G                       D
In the middle of your fav'rite street
              G
Look for the dotted line
             D                B7
Next to the black-and-yellow sign
      A                  G                     D G D
That shows a picture of this week's specialty meat!

                       G
Come on and have some dinner
        D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE
               A
Where you can munch on mice and sup on squirrel
      G                         D
Or inhale a whiff of skunk souffle
              G
You can have meat that is fresh
              D            B7
Or have some maggot-laden flesh
         A
Have it any way you want
        G           D G D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE!

             G
You can get Real Turtle Soup
         D
Or some muskrat broiled on mesquite
              A
Bluejays and hummingbirds
        G                      D
Make a tasty dish of shredded tweet
             G
Have hot dog on a bun
            D               B7
Or catch a stray cat on the run
        A                 G                    D G D
You'll have a morsel that always lands on its feet!

                       G
Come on and have some dinner
        D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE
                  A
Where they serve real mud pie and the coffee tastes different
            G                         D
'Cause you know that it was ground today
              G
You can have meat that is fresh
              D            B7
Or have some maggot-laden flesh
         A
Have it any way you want
        G           D G D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE!


        A
As you stop and go, have some escargot
         G                   D
You can eat it at a snail's pace
       A
For a tasty dish, try silverfish
         G                      D
Let 'em slither down without a trace
        B7
If you want a treat that has no feet
     Em
Try Banana Slug Cream Pie
       E
For an appetizing smell, Armadillo-on-the-Half-Shell
 G (no chord)
Broiled with garlic butter on the side


              G
You can have crushed rattlesnake
         D
Or some venison from cross-eyed deer
            A
Enjoy some rabbit food
        G                         D
When a bunny thinks the coast is clear
            G
No need to pass it by
      D               B7
When dinner looks you in the eye
             A                 G               D G D
And if that bothers you, then hit it from the rear!

                       G
Come on and have some dinner
        D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE
               A
Where you can masticate moose and drink road-apple juice
      G                         D
As you're wolfing down a wolf at bay
              G
You can have meat that is fresh
              D            B7
Or have some maggot-laden flesh
         A
Have it any way you want
        G           D G D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE!


                       G
Come on and have some dinner
        D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE
            A
And have a spoon of racoon or a smidgin of pigeon
     G                    D
Or opossum in a smooth pate
              G
Whether it's wild or it's tame
        D              B7
If it's on the highway it's fair game
         A
Have it any way you want
        G           D G D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE!
              G
Whether it's wild or it's tame
        D              B7
If it's on the highway it's fair game
         A
Have it any way you want
        G           D G D
At the ROAD KILL CAFE!