From: dnab@wpi.WPI.EDU (dnab, I wanted dna)
Subject: SUper-barrrrrrrd! INCREDIBLY LONG!
Summary: In the old days, we didn't _have_ no fancy _summaries_! 
Keywords: And we _liked_ it!
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 05:20:22 GMT

	Er, This wasn't originally going to be so long, but I'm sure that
many of you will find it a worthwhile read, and I hope it brings more than
a few chuckles to your throats...  and that I don't get flamed up the
wazoo by Angry People Against the Wasting of Bandwidth (APAWB).

	The actual advice to the Bard's DM is at the end, indented do that 
he can find it by using the down arrow.  DM, I suggest you print this
sucker up and peruse it at your leisure.  It may help...  in fact, I'm sure
it will!  Of course, I'm incredibly egotistic... But give it a try.
 
	In regards to the munchkin "bard," specifically his
DM's latest "what-to-do" query (with lots of information on
this truly absurd character):

	Well, when I read this latest posting I called some friends
into the room and we all rolled around on the floor laughing our
heinies off for about ten minutes.  Cries of "SUper-barrrrrrrrrd!"
will be ringing out across the quad here for weeks to come.

	This guy reminds me to some extent of one of the characters
in a 1st ed. campaign we played about... my goodness, has it been 
five years already?  Wow.  Anyway, we were young, we were powergamers,
and our DM was also a young powergamer.  Monty Hall himself would have
applauded our efforts in the early part of the campaign.  The character
who epitomized the campaign, however, was Fade.  Fade was a black
dragonman.  Yes, dragonman.  He was eight feet tall, with a 19 strength
and mostly 16-18's in the other attributes.  His wisdom was a 5 though.
As if we ever payed any attention to that.  He started as a thief, and
after attaining 5th level in one adventure (a "training" adventure he
was sent on with no real danger upon joining the guild), he had about
40 hit points (plenty of 5's and 6's on those hp rolls, and a +2 con
bonus... of course.)  He then decided to become multiclassed, and prevailed
upon my mage to teach him magic.  How long did the initial apprenticeship
last?  Oh, about two weeks.  He then proceeded to reach 5th level in
about two sessions (he "lapped" me in doing so- easy enough when the
one who _gets_ the good treasures gets the xp for them to himself), and
became officialy multiclassed, Mage/Thief.
	He got "dragonmagic," the magic that makes dragons so dangerous.
(As an aside, dragons were the only thing we feared at higher levels.)
Dragonmagic is based, not on levels or hit dice, but on _hit_points_.
For example, a magic missle spell (admittedly 2nd level) that does half
of the caster's hit points in damage, no save, no hit roll, no hope.
Remember, in 1st edition, you got the hit points for both classes, and
Fade was remarkably "lucky" in his rolls... Don't forget the con bonus, too.
	Fade was essentially an unstoppable juggernaut, and by the time
the party in general (the rest of us were all human, BTW) had reached
9th to 12th level, he had reached his maximum level (9th) in mage and
max (13th, I think) in thief.  He had 89 hit points.  That means that 
his 5th level Dragonmagic spells (cloudkill, anyone) were, like, save or
die, if you save you still take 89 points of damage.  He could use the
Draconic Magic Mouth as a contingency spell, too, so he could cast about
ten (did I mention the ring of wizardry, 1st-5th levels?) contingencies
a day...  Just imagine the Munchkinish abuses inhernet in this...  The
mind reels...
	He began conquering the oriental regions of the game world, 
equipped with a Golden Sphere (tm) (our DM was a Cerebus reader) which
causes all defeated-but-still-living troops to join him with total 
loyalty.  The old Battlesystem set was a godsend...  And of course the
truly munchkinish applications of various spells allowed Fade (and my
Mage, Frederic Moncristal) to kick the butts of entire 1000-man units...
You'd be surprised at how creatively the Wall of Fire description can be
interpereted.
	The rest of the group wasn't exactly a bunch of slouches, either.
Most of us hung out in our original home region, only a few days' travel from
the original city of the campaign.  We had blown away a small army of
Frost Giants and taken their mountain fortress for our own.  We were two
fighters (One with only pseudomunchkin stats and armaments, and one with...
well... imagine a berserk man in full-plate armor with a bastard sword in
each hand, one "sharpness" and one vorpal... and a +4 backup in case one
ever broke,) a cleric who was the least munchkinish of the bunch... I 
can't think of one incidence of powergaming on his part at all...; my
Mage character, yes, I admit, I'm a sinnner, quite a munchkin... and a thief
who had about one of every type of magic dagger that ever (or never)
existed. 
	The thief hung out with Fade as sort of a sidekick, and I spent my 
time hopping between the two groups.  To go from one side of the globe to
the other, I employed the ever-popular "Cast-fly-then-teleport-to-three-miles-
-above-the-target-zone-so-a-"low"-result-won't-kill-me" trick... (What do you
_mean_ that' s illegal?  Heh-heh-heh.)  We backstabbed, we crossed and
douvle-crossed each other, we killed each other and went on quests to 
find out Fade's truename (then said it, aloud, at noon every day) (Thus
prompting the DM to say, "Fade, someone just said your truename, somewhere
in the universe... again), we hobnobbed with gods (Hephaestus. once, and
several times with a fella named... Roscoe...), we chucked the rules of
game balance, fairness, decency, realism, high fantasy, low fantasy, and
general common sense right out the window...
	

	...AND WE HAD FUN.  We had an awesome time for about eighteen months,
with bi-weekly power fantasies and sugar-consumption fests.  We never once
had a gaming session that anyone could possibly describe as boring.  This
campaign pretty much cured us all of munchkinism and powergaming forever, and
we had a blast being cured.  

	The point of this long (sorry) post is this:

	-If the group is still having fun, and this guy isn't causing problems
in the group, then you are ecxperiencing the Fade Syndrome.  One guy could
take on the entire rest of the group and win- whether he wins initiative
or not.  He has all sorts of special rules and exceptions, just for him,
and is illegal in ten or twenty ways, whatever the edition of the rules you're
using, but everybody is still having fun.
	-If the guy is causing problems in the group, I suggest you take the
advice of my fellow (and more succinct) posters and fix things.  As I 
understand it, he came from another campaign, right?  Well, as the 2nd ed.
rules state, he should NEVER be allowed to bring magic items with him from
another world.  Also, he shouldn't be advancing in anything but the Bard
class...   ...Here's what to do (IMNSHO): 
		
		-Talk to the player, one-on-one, once you're clear on the
	rest of the group's opinions in the matter (and your own).  Explain
	that he's really disrupting things, and offer him the chance to keep
	the character anyway.  Tell him that the following things have to
	go: About half (or more) of the magic items (the ones _you_ want to
	get rid of, give him a list, open to negotiation if you feel like
	a hassle), the advanmcement in all classes except Bard, and the
	familiar...  Suggest, for example, that the character be altered
	("retconned" in comics lingo) so that the wolf is his familiar...
	He'll probably like that idea, actually...  Make the foothing, say,
	an ally or past acquaintance...  A supporting NPC who shows up 
	now and again, maybe to bail the party out ONCE in some climactic 
	encounter, and more often a provider-of-adventure-hooks.  And the
	hit points...  Since he's been using 1st ed. rules, he's probably
	got a fhuge number of them.  Take the next most durable member of
	the party, and look at his hit points.  The bard probably has about
	thirty more...  Bleaghik!  Simply adjust the bard's hit points down
	to about 75% of this number, and while he'll still be really tough,
	he won't be Mister Juggernaut anymore.  Next-to-finally, remind him
	that he can't cast spells in armor (if he has elven chain, you should
	definitely zap it...).  Finally, in regards to the bardly stuff and
	druid training, just ignore the druid stuff if you don't want the
	hassle (lord knows this guy's non-standard enough already, but what
	difference can it make at this point?) and-here's a neat idea- don't
	award him anywhere NEAR full xp if he doesn't play his avowed 
	character.
		If the player gets really, really upset at this, and becomes
	overly emotional and refuses to see reason, well, he doesn't seem
	to be a particularly mature person from the character description...
	Anyway, I would suggest that you give him some time (a couple of
	days) to mope and think about it, then ask for a final decision, take
	it or leave it, keep the newly-adjusted Really Powerful Character or
	start a new one.  If he utterly refuses and leaves the campaign, I hate
	to tell you this, but it's probably a good thing.  Irrational immature
	powergaming munchkin selfish little brat* ..excuse me, sorry... People
	who won't listen to reason and adjust their character a little in
	the direction of sanity to preserve the integrity of the group just
	shouldn't be in said group; they will prove to be an instability-
	-causing element and may bring about the destruction of the group...

I'M INCREDIBLY SORRY FOR THE LONG POST I WILL BURN IN HELL I REPENT I'M SOOOO
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	-I bet Sea Wasp never does this... But I bet he played in a "Fade
Campaign" at least once...

	-Dan Brainerd, Flames to dnab@wpi.wpi.edu, I can never get enough 
-- 
Dnab, Dan Brainerd, dnab@wpi.wpi.edu, take your pick...
"I have a .plan, a .plan of unusual significance..."
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