HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: anon.120@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Section 5 of FAQ--reporting a perp
Date: 29 Dec 1992 07:43:48 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.120@pax.tpa.com.au
NNTP-Posting-Host: flash.pax.tpa.com.au


Krikket writes:

>At any rate, what is the current opnion on having this section in the FAQ?
>Should I consult the local PD for suggestons/advice/etc for the FAQ, or not?

I thought it was interesting, but not all that helpful.  What I wanted was:
What can I do to report *MY* perp?  One of my perps is a cop now, too.

Reading the section in the FAQ that didn't tell me what to do about 
reporting my perps made me mad at him and I wanted to destroy their 
marriages, their lives.  I wanted at least to know *how* to make them 
pay for what they did to me.

Aardvark


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From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'Krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Let it end soon, please
Date: 30 Dec 92 15:43:22 CST
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

In article <C021vJ.83C@twwells.com>, anon-1280@twwells.com (MelancholyChild)
writes:
>krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'Krikket' Krick) writes:
>>In article <Bzy5qB.IyJ@twwells.com>, anon-1280@twwells.com (ReachingOut)
>>writes:
>>>I wish I could believe this for myself. I don't, not at all. It will
>>>end when I die. Blah blah blah blah blah blah, lots of whiny bullshit
>>>deleted
> 
>This should never have been posted. Apologies to all.

WRONG!  You needed to let off a bunch of steam.  You did.  Nothing wrong with
that!

(And I like the new name!)

<><><><>
Krikket (a.k.a. Doug Krick)  ---  krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us
#include<std.disclaimers>    ---  an294@anon.penet.fi
anon-1214@twwells.com        ---  anon.77@pax.tpa.com.au

 "And the Germans killed the Jews.  And the Jews killed the Arabs.
  And the Arabs killed the hostages.  And that is the news."
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: hal@netcom.com (Hal Wine)
Subject: Re: TIRED
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 04:37:12 GMT

In article <C018MC.5Jo@twwells.com> anon-1317@twwells.com writes:
>
> here i go again - apologizing
> to someone because i have trouble
> coping-- apoligizing for living-
> i informed a friend about the child
> abuse in this country- about my own
> and about the other kinds-- i think
> he was shocked-- so i apoligized to
> him--  what for?

Why should he be shocked?  From the stats I've seen, child sexual
abuse rates are unfortunately consistant throughout the industrialized
world.  (I wish it were otherwise.)  This *isn't* an American problem.
If anything, we're on the leading edge of acknowledging the abuse and
developing treatment programs.

Off hand, I don't know of any stats on developing countries.

> and when will society really see the 
> difference-- when will people start seeing
> us as surviors and not victims or the ones
> to blame-- 

I think this is starting.  I know people are more willing to talk
about it, because survivors *have* been talking about it.  Laws are
changing.

> when will people start saying-- "something
> must be done- we have a problem here"-- when
> pigs fly?

Granted, we need this shouted from every street corner by hoards of
outraged citizenry.  But, I think I can hear at least a whisper from
many corners.

> i just had to blow off steam-- no flames, please-
> i'm not strong enough for that yet

Will you take accolades? <grin>  I think it's *wonderful* that you had
the courage and strength to educate your friend.  It takes a *lot* of
strength to do that, as it is so often unrewarding.

I know, as I've done it.  The above statements don't come out of a
"it'll all be better tomorrow" attitude, but rather out of my
experiences this summer.

Thank you for helping to educate -- that's the first step in changing
society's attitude...
-- 
Hal Wine
Internet: hal@netcom.com		Compuserve: 72267,3346
From: anon-1317@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: tired still
Date: 30 Dec 92 16:02:10 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

thank all of you who have responded to my
post-- it is funny-- the guy that i told 
about the child abuse hasn't talked to me
since-- which is unusual--  i guess he just
didn't want to hear about it.

i guess he is like most people and just wish
i had never said anything-- people seem to think-
"well, it happened a long time ago-- can't you
just forget it"  no, i can't forget it-- i tried
and tried and just didn't deal with it and it grew
and grew and now it is a big monster that i have to
fight day in and day out-- but i will win.

it seems that my telling him changed something-- he
will probably advoid me now--but that doesn't make
any difference- does it?




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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: koepp@cc1.unt.edu (Cynthia Koepp - Computing Center)
Subject: books by Dorothy Allison
Organization: Computing Center, UNT
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 15:43:22 GMT

I would like to know whether anyone has read Dorothy Allison's novel
_Bastard Out of Carolina_.  I could not find it in the local bookstore, 
yet it was listed as one of the best books of the year by Publisher's 
Weekly.  Anyway, if anyone has read it could you tell me how upsetting it is?

I would also like to know more about her poetry, if anybody out there has 
read it, before I order it.  I  have looked at book reviews but they didn't 
tell me on an emotional level what her writing is like.

Thanks.

Cynthia Koepp
koepp@cc1.unt.edu
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: TIRED
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 08:13:19 GMT

Hal Wine (hal@netcom.com) wrote:

: Why should he be shocked?  From the stats I've seen, child sexual
: abuse rates are unfortunately consistant throughout the industrialized
: world.  (I wish it were otherwise.)  This *isn't* an American problem.
: If anything, we're on the leading edge of acknowledging the abuse and
: developing treatment programs.

An interesting question might be, what effect does child sexual abuse have
on its victims when the sexual abuse is an accepted part of the culture
the child is raised in?  There are several cultures (and subcultures, even
here in the US) where sex with a minor is considered acceptable - even
encouraged.  I am curious if the survivors have the same types and range of
problems in a society where such behavior is considered the norm.
-- 
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

Who and what would you be if you went beyond your deepest fears?
From: anon-1280@twwells.com (ReachingOut)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Suicide songs that give me comfort 2
Date: 28 Dec 92 05:53:44 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Happy Rhodes
Rhodes Vol II


UNDER AND OVER THE BRINK


   On the brink of complying
     I'm very slow
   And I say to myself:

   "Oh no, don't go
     Well I like you the way you are
   So please don't change
     Don't you know that your mind could rearrange?"

   So today it starts and tomorrow it ends
     I lost my soul and I lost my friends
   So today it ends and tomorrow it starts
     The brooding of a million hearts

         Music's the way, the only way I know
           It's time to let the brooding heart
         Choose the way to go

        'Cause love is not the answer
           It's never here to stay
         What's here through the night 
           May be gone by day

   On the brink of attack
     I'm society prone
   And they're telling me: 

     "You should find out what is wrong"

   I think I'm alright
     I'm still putting up a fight
   But I keep on losing
     Soon I'll be dying of fright

   On the brink of insanity
     I see my friend
   And I'm trying to tell him:

    "It can't be the end
   Well, you've made me live
     Now you've got more to give"

   If he goes o'er that brink
     Who will I cry with?
 
         Because music's the way, the only way I know
           It's time to let the brooding heart
         Choose the way to go

        'Cause love is not the answer
           It's never here to stay
         What's here through the night 
           May be gone by day
         What's here through the night 
           May be gone by day

(c)1986 Happy Rhodes
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: hal@netcom.com (Hal Wine)
Subject: Re: Yet Another Highly Emotional Letter  **SPOILER WARNING**
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 04:17:29 GMT

In article <krikket.05jz@meltdown.chi.il.us> krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us
(D. 'Krikket' Krick) writes:
>I don't think I've gotten regular exercise (aside from what is necessary to get
>around in my life, say 2 miles of walking per day, and that's it.) in years... 
>Don't feel like building up to a point where I could exercise regularly without
>getting winded/etc either...  But maybe I should anyways...

Personally, I find that even a walk helps -- as long as it isn't a
rushed I-have-to-be-somewhere-soon kind of walk.  Nothing aerobic,
that's for sure <grin>!  I've taken to walking down to the grocery
store (about a mile) several times a week instead of a massive
shopping session with the car.  I gets me away from the boob tube!

-- 
Hal Wine
Internet: hal@netcom.com		Compuserve: 72267,3346
From: anon-1487@twwells.com (chinadoll)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: more babbling **spoiler**
Date: 24 Dec 92 06:35:29 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

My brother used to watch me shower through the window.  Then he
oops******************spoiler************************

showed his friends how they could watch me.


My father tucked me in and left with a wet spot in his pants.

Why can't I remember what he did to me.  I feel scared.  I am
scared to be there again, with them.  Everybodys' play thing
is what I was.  I am not anymore.  I am scared.  Tomorrow I
go home for Christmas.  I don't want to see them.

My whole family is fucked up.  My brother just got out of
prison for stealing cars because my father abused him too--
but not sexually.  My brother and my father both abused me.
What the hell is my mother thinking?  Why didn't she stop
either one of them.  Does she know anything?  Is she
that ignorant?  She thinks our family is the fucking Brady
Bunch.  It's all just a stupid game and I don't want to play
anymore.

-Chinadoll



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From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: first post: MILD SPOILER
Date: 21 Dec 92 05:58:36 CST
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

In article <1992Dec17.005816.23365@news.yale.edu>,  (Someone out there) writes:
>
>This is my first post.  I don't quite know what to say, but I want to thank
>all who have posted here. Your articles have really helped me.  I want to
>say more, but I can't yet.  Until the next time...

Welcome, and I'm glad to hear that we've been able to help!  Don't worry about
not being able to say more yet, it will come on it's own in time.

But I just wanted to say "Hi!" and "There are people out here that hear you!"
so...

Hi!  There are people out here that hear you!   :)

<><><><>
Krikket (a.k.a. Doug Krick)  ---  krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us
#include<std.disclaimers>    ---  an294@anon.penet.fi
anon-1214@twwells.com        ---  anon.77@pax.tpa.com.au

 "And the Germans killed the Jews.  And the Jews killed the Arabs.
  And the Arabs killed the hostages.  And that is the news."
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: stick@carson.u.washington.edu (suzanne cherniack)
Subject: Re: molestor wants to help victim
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 05:49:05 GMT

I would say that counseling is in order, a mutual effort both 
individually and together.  It helps to have someone else mediate
and start the healing process.  

Best of luck (I think you were very brave to post what you did)

-S.
From: ftlao@acad3.alaska.edu (OSSANDER LINDA A)
Subject: Re: Anyone I know around?
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41.UAC
Organization: University of Alaska - Fairbanks
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 1992 02:54:00 GMT

In article <BzoEJ9.543@belay.uucp>, cryst@belay.uucp (Crystal Bell) writes...
> Hi guys! long time no talk.. unfortunately.. I wanted to kill myself last 
>night and sometimes even today I wish I had.. OOPS forgot the 
>************************ S P O I L  E R S ******************** warning <grin>
>anyhow... I can't remember when was the last time I posted.. but On 
>Dec 04 (1992) I spoke to my ex-foster mother sort of.. I called to say Happy
>Birthday to my Foster Father.. (FF) and he wasn't in.. I asked to speak to 
>"dad" I have called this man "dad" since I was 9 years old.. anyhow to get to 
>the point She asked me who was speaking. I told her it was me and she hung up 
>saying " I don't know anyone named Crystal" it didn't hurt as much as it did
>when she TOLD ME I was a useless piece of crap.. ( of course she didn't say 
>exactly that but she certainly implied it.. I could never amount to anything,
>and I was never going to succeed in anything I do...
> 
>I *WAS* engaged to Craig.. for about two weeks.. but get this.. and I'm aware 
>that this probably isn't the place for it. but.. I HAVE to say it to SOMEONE 
>and you guys have always been here for me... < thanks..> I've decided that I'm
>Bi-curious.. this is really bizarre.. I think it's got something to do with 
>the fact that I've been through so much Crap caused by men.. anyhow.. I'm 
>seeing ( very loosely used term) a guy named Rob.. he's a real sweetie, He
>TRULY understands what I'm going through.. he has never been through it 
>himself but he understands me.. He treats me like a LADY instead of an object
>I LOVE THE WAY HE TREATS ME!!!! BOUNCE!
>I dunno... My entire life is topsy turvy and I'm stuck alone at Christmas 
>again.. I've tried killing myself every Christmas for the past five years.
>but right now I don't think I could fight off the burning NEED to die.. Am I 
>making any sense? Craig and I live together.. but he's gona away for the
>holidays and I'm alone.. I don't know if I can take another Christmas alone..
> 
>anyhow.. I'll get out of everyone's hair.. 
>HUGGS! for everyone who needs one.. 
>Crystal
> 


Hi Crystal,

Sounds like you could use a hug or two. *HUG*  *HUG*

My name is Linda and I have been on asar for about a year and a half.  Sounds
to me like you are alot like me in the fAct that you are very sad during the
holidays.  Alot of people from asar feel the same way. 

I do hope you had a nice day I trird to send you a response this morning but my
phone kept cutting me off.  As for being in everyones hair don't worry about it
that is why we have asar. *Smile*

Anyway I shall be around if you want to talk on e-mail.  Take care and remember
tomorrow is another day. *HUG*  If you want it, if not pass them on.

                              -Linda-


Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: chip@tct.com (Chip Salzenberg)
Subject: Re: School Rage--spoiler was Re: academic work
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 15:42:49 GMT
Organization: TC Telemanagement, Clearwater, FL

According to nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu (Nancy Lebovitz):
>Okay, people, this is going to be about why I think school as it is
>usually done (grades, tests, assignments) is an abusive system.

Wow, yes, yes, yes.

Thank you, Nancy, for helping me remember.

When I was entering Junior High my mother gave me John Holt's amazing
book "How Children Fail".  It is amazing in several ways.  (1) Why do
parents let the school system treat their children this way?  (2) How
do children survive?  [Well, I guess we on asar know how.]  (3) Why
has John Holt been ignored?  [Three reasons: denial, denial, denial.]

With Holt's book in my head, I finally had words for what had
previously been just a hunch: that school was just a game, with the
goal being for the children to get through without "failing" (hah) and
for the teachers to pretend to teach the children long enough for them
to pass a "test" (double hah).  True learning was never a part of it.

Just imagine the grades if students were tested in March on material
they'd covered in October!  They'd all "fail".  So no one does it.

My mother thought at the time that she had made a mistake, since my
motivation to play the game fell to almost zero.  Even so, she had
given me a great gift.  I was able to see the game for what it was.
Even though I was still shamed every day, I knew that I wasn't at
fault.  I knew that I wasn't crazy; the _system_ was crazy.

To this day, when parents make a big deal of their children's grades,
my blood boils.  They can't see how they're completely invalidating
the real, true, internal lives of their children in favor of the mere
external trappings of success.  But then, isn't that the root problem
with dysfunctional families?  You don't know what you know; you don't
see what you see.

Bah.

And then there's the shaming that comes on all those willing to be
different from other students in obvious ways.  But that's a flame for
another day.
-- 
Chip Salzenberg at Teltronics/TCT  <chip@tct.com>, <73717.366@compuserve.com>
  "you make me want to break the laws of time and space / you make me
   want to eat pork / you make me want to staple bagles to my face /
   and remove them with a pitchfork" -- Weird Al Yankovic, "You Make Me"
From: anon-1311@twwells.com (Noel)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: BOB THE POET
Date: 23 Dec 92 17:41:12 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes



Hi Bob:


I just wanted to say that maybe you should do whatever it is you need to 
do to to "get it out".  Its like eating spoiled meat. You feel the nausea 
coming on and you try to keep it down, but it must come up. Your body knows
this and as unpleasant as it is to vomit, in the long run you will be 
healthier for it. Get it out.  Bring it up.....it is coming up now, because
your conciousness can no longer keep it hidden.  It must be dealt with.  And
you will feel the pain, unfortunately.  You are innocent.  A victim.  Try not to
let what was done to you effect how you feel about yourself.  That would be a triple
rape/abuse.    

This will involve remembering....searching, maybe enlisting the help of a trusted
friend or therapist, reading "Courage to Heal", looking at your behavior or dreams or
supressed memory flashes, etc....


Know that you are not alone.  I was kidnapped when I was 7 years old.  I aged 10 years 
that night.  I was pissed off about it, too. You gotta be strong.  Think clearly.  Would YOU
tell  a little kid who got raped or abused by some cretin that he/she was worthless or pitiful?
NO!  YOu would feel bad for them and try to help them get justice or help or love and comfort.

Well, you were that little kid, as was I.  I will be mine own hero.  You must be yours. 

Take care and good luck, BOb.

:  )

NOEL





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Newsgroups: alt.newgroup,alt.config
From: gst@spdcc.com (Gary S. Trujillo)
Subject: Re: Another listing of newsgroups in the "alt" Usenet hierarchy
Summary: alt.oobe should be aliased to alt.out-of-body
Organization: S.P. Dyer Computer Consulting
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 1993 14:16:41 GMT

In article <1993Jan3.001200.1813@becker.GTS.ORG> Bruce Becker writes:
> Archive-name: alt-newsgroups
> Last-modified: 2 Jan 1993 by news@becker.gts.org

> alt.oobe		0000769	Out Of Body Experiences...

...

> alt.out-of-body			=alt.oobe

Actually, this list has it all backwards.  The "alt.oobe" newsgroup is now
defunct, and should be destroyed.  It has been replaced by "alt.out-of-body."
If alt.oobe still exists on any systems out there, please rmgroup it and
alias it to alt.out-of-body.  The change was made a number of months ago
following a discussion held in alt.config.

Thanks.

Gary
-- 
    Gary S. Trujillo                             gst@gnosys.svle.ma.us
Somerville, Massachusetts               {wjh12,bu.edu,spdcc,ima,cdp}!gnosys!gst
Newsgroups: alt.newgroup,alt.config
From: jef@netcom.com (Jef Poskanzer)
Subject: Re: Another listing of newsgroups in the "alt" Usenet hierarchy
X-Face: uPIE),q]+zmF49L%(pdE;nX/8$/J22&&&C@_)8BouYx42Y--?*,\]*MIeTY#mCM(x>FyD@+0D-Jm]S_8lxop(Q-$L#~b8!ha;eF[b+GOLyu<]4$">NeVymJ@F#M?1O`ue4,h4`2S^KGjmP%no(d,:<Ur:+f6W8$J:'t9BxH
Reply-To: Jef Poskanzer <jef@netcom.com>
Organization: Paratheo-Anametamystikhood Of Eris Esoteric
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 1993 20:10:28 GMT

gst@spdcc.com (Gary S. Trujillo):
}In article <1993Jan3.001200.1813@becker.GTS.ORG> Bruce Becker writes:
}>[anything at all]
}Actually, this list has it all backwards.

Of course.

Hey, maybe it's time for a Becker FAQ, with all the newsgroups he
lies about.  The list is getting pretty long.
---
Jef

           Jef Poskanzer  jef@netcom.com  jef@well.sf.ca.us
                           Place stamp here.
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: jspence@cmptrc.lonestar.org (John Spence)
Subject: Re: Addiction is not a disease.
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 19:00:10 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: CompuTrac Inc., Richardson TX

In article <1992Dec30.144742.12838@cbnewsl.cb.att.com> ebh@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (Ed Horch) writes:
>>It means that they don't work for everyone.  Some people aren't so bad 
>>off as to need the steps, others aren't bad off enough to want them.
>
>One of the things I love about this group is that you never have to wait
>very long before someone makes a value judgment about the recoveries of
>people they've never even met...
>
>Will the dogma ever end?
>
>-Ed
Keep comin' back, Ed

-- 
jspence@cmptrc.lonestar.org                                (214) 235-7161 x4100
John E. Spence                                                  CompuTrac, Inc.
"I don't speak for CompuTrac, and CompuTrac doesn't speak for me!"
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
From: eng10204@nusunix1.nus.sg (LOH CHIA WOON)
Subject: Re: Clean time
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 04:31:22 GMT

Xref: sparky alt.recovery:3749 alt.support:1571