From: adric@access.digex.com (William Johnson)
Newsgroups: soc.women
Subject: Re: What does "Male-dominated society" mean?
Date: 22 Jan 1993 20:09:44 GMT
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: access.digex.com

In article <1993Jan17.170653.28692@leland.Stanford.EDU> farthing@leland.Stanford.EDU (ljf) writes:
>In article <1j9f5mINNdru@transfer.stratus.com> dswartz@redondo.sw.stratus.com (Dan Swartzendruber) writes:
> The main question is why he is
>>allowed to get away with beating up his wife/girlfriend.  As far as I can
>>tell (from anecdotal evidence of abused friends/relatives), the answer
>>is because the victims rarely press criminal charges against their
>>abusers AND STAY THE COURSE!  I can't count the number of times I've heard
>>person A beat up person B and B either wouldn't press charges, or did but
>>changed their mind. 
>
>What is a proscription to you?  I would think that if I thought there
>were a proscription against violence, it would mean that most people
>aren't violent even when they want to be because the proscription
>prevents them from being violent.  How many times does a proscription
>have to be violated for us to declare the proscription null?  (To me
>this also can be said about the incest taboo, how many children have
>to be sexually abused by their parents before we say that it's
>bullshit to speak of an incest taboo.)

But hang on a second!  Would you agree that murder is not socially acceptable?
Would you agree that it is proscribed by our society?  And yet murders occur
every day.  I live in the Washington DC area, and not a day goes by when we
don't hear about SOMEONE who has been murdered in DC or the surrounding 
environs.  Quite a lot of murder going on, but I think you'd be hard pressed
to prove that as a society we do NOT have a proscription against murder.

Simply that many people will ignore society's wishes in favor of their
own.  Right or wrong, this is how things work with some people.

This isn't to argue whether there IS or IS NOT a proscription against 
violence towards women, simply to point out that the fact that many people
don't follow the proscription DOESN'T mean it doesn't exist.

As I've said before, little boys are told that under no circumstances 
should they hit little girls.  Ever.  Even if the little girl hits first.

> And as to why the wives/girlfriends are usually on
>>the receiving end?  Probably because they are ones who are around when X
>>gets home from a crappy day at the office and is looking for someone to
>>take it out on.
>
>So, where is the proscription?  I would think it would kick in when
>the man got home after a crappy day.  "I feel like hell and I'd like
>to punch my wife in the face for being grumpy towards me, but I won't
>because it's wrong to hit a woman."  Isn't that exactly the
>proscription we're talking about?  But where does it work?  Not in my
>family, not in my neighborhood.

Ok, about 1 year ago, two teen-agers went out on New Years Day, just
minutes after New Year's Eve, and decided (drunk as they were) that it
would be neat to commit the first murder of 1992.  So they stumbled around
until about 2am (or maybe it was later, I forget the details) they found
someone else out and about.  So they killed him.  Isn't that exactly the
proscription against murder we supposedly have?  But where does it work?
Not in this neighborhood, it would appear.  And yet it does.  Because for
every one lunatic out there who will kill someone just because it's 
something to do, there are hundreds who WON'T.  And I doubt there are
many people who have not at one time or another been mad enough to want
to hurt someone.  Mad enough, at least in the short burst of passionate 
anger, to want to kill them.  But we never even seriously entertain the
idea, often don't even consciously think about it, because we know it's
wrong.  Similarly, there are many many men who come home from a long day
at work, tired and grumpy, and get really ticked when the first thing they
hear through the door is how terrible their family's day was.  All that man
wants (or woman, but we're discussing male violence towards women) is a
chance to sit down, relax, and maybe have a bit of dinner.  And yet the
sudden onslaught of negativity during this period of low strength does not
prompt MOST men to violence.  Because most men know that violence towards
ANYONE is proscribed.

The failure of some individuals to follow societal proscriptions does not
mean they aren't there.  Otherwise, you would have to say that there are
NO societal proscriptions.  After all, every one of them has been broken
by SOMEONE.

Will.
-- 
Copyright (C) 1993 by William Johnson  All rights wronged, all lefts made
adric@access.digex.com                     without benefit of turn signal.
Will Johnson, 307 S. Reynolds St Box P-216, Alexandria, VA  22304
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have included a quote in your .sig file."
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