HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Chip Olson@somewhere.out.there)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Am I banished?
Date: 17 Dec 92 07:52:56 GMT
Article-I.D.: husc8.OLSON.92Dec16235256
 <1992Dec11.191746.15020@netcom.com><lipoeqINN7nq@news.bbn.com> <102155@netnews.upenn.edu>
Distribution: na
Organization: Spam-On-A-Rope Inc.
In-reply-to: crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu's message of 15 Dec 92 17:39:53 GMT

Well, while we're trading wedding stories, I'll tell you about my friend Guy's
wedding.  Guy is an odd sort; he's into SF and the SCA, hang-glides, sky-dives,
does technical climbing, and he's terrified of heights. Also a devout Catholic.
Andrea, his bride, is weird in similar ways (fortunately).  Her parents organ-
ized this huge, lavish wedding, and basically told Guy and Andrea "if you em-
barrass us, we're not paying for a cent of this."  Her family is Lithuanian,
so the wedding was at a Lithuanian Catholic church in Brockton, MA.  We pull
up to the church a little early, and there's a big black hearse parked outside.
My very first thought was "not even Guy would order a hearse to his own wed-
ding, would he?"  Turned out the funeral scheduled ahead of the wedding had
run overtime, as they tend to do.  I swear the ceremony lasted two hours and
a half, but the real fun was at the reception.  The room was arranged with
Andrea's family on the near side of the dance floor and Guy's on the far
side, so when Guy's sister returned from the ladies' room and walked into the 
wrong function room- which also had a wedding reception in progress- she 
didn't realize it until she was all the way across the dance floor.  Right
about then she got snagged by a member of that party for a dance, so she 
danced with him for a song or two, and then went back and told Guy about it.
A light bulb promptly went off above Guy and Andrea's heads, and they collared
some of their party and went across to the other room, and cut right in be-
tween the other couple as they were taking their first dance together! For-
tunately, the other party loved it.  So both photogs got pictures of the
brides and grooms dancing with the wrong partner, and a merry time was had
by all- except Andrea's mother, who looked like she was about to have a
stroke. I think the reception had already been paid for at that point, though.


--
-Chip Olson. | olson@husc.harvard.edu | ceo@{gnu.ai,silver.lcs}.mit.edu 
"These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break. These days
you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face... And when you 
do you'll know how it was meant to be..." -10,000 Maniacs, "These Are Days"
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Attraction -> Acquiantance or vice ver
From: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA (dreas)
Date: 16 Dec 92 00:32:40 +1700

Reply-To: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA
Organization: University of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 92 02:32:18 GMT


[Question about acquaintance and developing attraction by Julia Smith]

My perspective:

I have experienced this a couple of times. Here is one of them:

I was taking this course where partners were chosen alphabetically.
I ended up having to do a geologic field work course with an abrasive woman.

Most people found her unattractive.
We worked together for two weeks on the course.
We were together in the woods and fields the whole time.
I got to know her a bit during the first week.

During the second week we formed a bond.
She was no longer exactly unattractive.
I got to know her even better after we shared some very
difficult times together.

On the last day of field school, she was in my motel room.
We were talking about how to put our joint report together.
Suddenly, she had a smile on her face.

She said, "I used to hate you. I learned to like you. Today, I love you!!!"
What could I do but hug her warmly and kiss her?

A couple of weeks later, she moved in with me.

Of course, this was years ago. I don't know where she is these days.
Please do not congratulate me, OK?

dreas  

Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.men,soc.women,alt.flame
From: smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith)
Subject: Re: Duck and Jive (was Re: Pre-Sex Contract )
Organization: Gagging Sloth Records
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 14:13:29 GMT

Is this thread starting to remind anyone else of that scene in Airplane
where the two people are arguing heatedly over the airport intercom?

jds
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor)
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 23:21:33 GMT

In article <15966@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:

>Mel, my sweet, I would be delighted to take you out to dinner.

Yeah, sure....

>All I expect in return is air fare, a "thank you very much for dinner 
>tonight. I had a wonderful time", and maybe a blowjob.

Oh, great, FINE!  Everybody else gets off with a kiss on the cheek and
*I* have to cough up a blowjob.  You want air fare  -AND- a blowjob???!!!
Boy, the greediness of some people.  All I gotta say is, it better
damn well include dessert.

Glad we got these negotiations outta the way ahead of time.....  do
we shake now?
--
              For flavor, instant sex will never supercede 
              the stuff you have to peel and cook. 
                                  -- Quentin Crisp
From: souchay@CAM.ORG (Francois Souchay)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: People who give too much in a relationship (was Re: Attraction...)
Date: 12 Dec 92 05:14:19 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Communications Accessibles Montreal, Quebec Canada

In article <75493@apple.apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>Matt Valentine writes:
>
>How many of you have been in a relationship with someone who made
>unnecessary sacrifices of this sort?
>Ultimately in a relationship, the goal is for both parties to feel that
>they can be themselves and can ask for what they want. But a lot of people
>go into a relationship with some other state of mind -- with beliefs that 
>they cannot ask for certain things. 
>It is up to the individual to change this tendency. But is there any way
>for an SO to help? Can you, for example, stick up a red flag when your 
>partner seems to be doing this and ask them to double-check whether they 
>are being true to themselves?

Hmmm, I doubt it. Problem with folks who "give too much" tends toward
a lack of confidence/self-esteem, and raising flags would probably
incur a defensive reaction, not what you want at all. About the only
way an SO could try to affect the situation may be to completely
give up control for an evening, effectively saying the decisions on
where to eat, which movie to see, etc. are *entirely* the other's,
and not even hinting at your choice. Then, of course, the next time
is yours. After a few confidence building exercises like this, the 
"timid" partner may feel comfortable that expressing his/her
wishes needn't invoke a rebuke.

>We all want someone who has their act together in every way. But given that
>people of that sort seem quite rare, we'd all be better off in our search
>for a mate if we knew some basic ways of helping the imperfect person that
>we are likely to find become more comfortable with him- or herself. 

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the bulb has to *want* to change.

The more experience I get, the more I feel "helping someone change" is
one of those good deeds that does not go unpunished. Fairly well
anyone I know who has "helped an SO" has also seen them walk away
when said SO feels better. Relationships of this sort tend to be
focused on the helper/needer roleset, which just ain't as much fun
as spraying whipped cream on each other, so the "healed" SO seeks
out greener & more fun pastures when the process is done.

Your best bet is finding someone on their way to getting their shit
together and watching the progress without unduly getting involved.
It's easier said than done if you care for that person, but everybody's
peace of mind is preserved in the long run.

Francois.
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Women: would you go out with a man dumber than you
Date: 17 Dec 92 20:57:05 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Dec16.214413.23271@spectrum.xerox.com> eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com writes:
>In article 29957@cbnews.cb.att.com, eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (eleanor.j.evans) writes:
|> 
|> I have to.
|> 
|
|Er, let me stab at why -- because any intelligent man would never go out with anyone so egotistical?

Maybe not, but they might go out with a woman with a sense of humor.

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: larry@b8.b8.ingr.com (Larry Billings)
Subject: Re: Wannabees (was Re: Attraction -> Acquiantance or vice versa?)
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 19:42:04 GMT

In article <JULIE.92Dec11173857@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu>, julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright) writes:
> krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith) writes:
> 
> If you're friends and she knows you want to go out with her and still
> complains about not having a boyfriend to you, knowing it causes you pain
> to hear her say that, she's being insensitive and not a particularly good
> friend to you.  However, I've had several male single friends whom I griped
> to about being single and they griped to me too, and we got a lot out of
> sharing things and discussing the things we had in common and the things
> we saw differently... gee, sort of like this newsgroup! ... without anyone
> feeling any pain.  (I know we're talking about "wannabes" here, but I just
> wanted to point out that this bitching _can_ be fine between men and women
> friends.)  

I agree with you Julie, I've been in several situations where I was the friend
that was called when "she" needed to complain/bitch about problems.  I never
found any of my female friends unattractive, and would have probabily slept
with them if they had wanted that kind of relationship.  In most cases I did
not feel they forgot I was a man, in fact they talked to me because I was a 
man, and would not just tell them "thats the way men are and they are all alike"

I had one friend who used to call and talk for hours every time she and her
husband split up (quite frequently), long distance.  It gave her a chance to
hear a friendly supportive voice and run up her husbands phone bill.  One
time my roommates sister and a friend were visiting and one of the girls
answered the phone, later she came in to tell me she was leaving on a date.
When she got back from her date I was still on the phone.  My one good
ear was sore, and both arms were hurting from holding the phone, but she felt
better and that was what I found to be important.  But then I'm a NICE GUY.
I'd have hated to see that months phone bill NYC to Fla. for 6/7 hours.


> 
> ---Julie 

Larry
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Bad Timing
Date: 13 Dec 92 02:52:48 GMT
	<1992Dec12.060247.27903@noose.ecn.purdue.edu>
	<MARTINC.92Dec12160246@hatteras.cs.unc.edu>
	<1992Dec12.225721.6345@noose.ecn.purdue.edu>
Distribution: usa
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu's message of 12 Dec 92 22:57:21 GMT

In article <1992Dec12.225721.6345@noose.ecn.purdue.edu> mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor) writes:

   Agreed.  Damn, Charlie, the least you could do is give me something to 
   disagree with.  You're no fun.

People have been telling me that ever since I got into grad school.
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
From: souchay@CAM.ORG (Francois Souchay)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Thanks for 7 inches
Date: 15 Dec 92 01:50:13 GMT
Organization: Communications Accessibles Montreal, Quebec Canada

In article <32@jptcs.COM> tps@jptcs.COM (Tim Sailer) writes:
>
>Bah! I NEED snow... LOTSA SNOW.... I spent 8 years in the south and
>suffered from severe withdrawl.. Now that I have another place in Maine,
>we make sacrifices to the snow gods for lots of nice packing wet SNOW!
>
Careful with those Snow Gods, pal! Last time I sacrificed *anything*
to them, we got 30 inches at Killington. Ah, a whole week of powder
skiing.

Which was real fun when my psycho friends took me on the monster mogul
run, yay.  Wheeeee.... SPLAT! THUD! Bounce, bounce, bounce.

Francois.
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women,soc.men,ba.singles
From: desiree@netcom.com (Desiree Champagne)
Subject: Re: Pre-Sex Contract
Summary: Fiddley-dee-dee and la dee daa
Organization: Ramones Fan Club et Cie
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 00:01:50 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.223139.22436@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:

[quoting back my entire article except the part where I used nasty words
like puke and stupid...]

>Can I get you some more Windex for that house of yours? 

	Non, merci.  My dad owns a glass company -- when the panes 
break I just replace them.

	But thank you ever so much for your concern and consideration.

Desiree
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Over 40 and single....Anyone that "OLD"?
Date: 15 Dec 92 02:09:47 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Dec14.211229.25807@cbnewsk.cb.att.com> krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith) writes:
>Louise Billi writes:
|>
|>Over 40 (just a tad) women have a terrible time of it.
|>Men in that age group are all looking for the young "Tenderoni"
|>to make him feel like a kid again.  Can't men realize that 
|>most younger women see them as either a "Father Figure" or
|>a "Sugar Daddy"?  Is that what they really want in a mate?
|>
|>And it is sad today that wrinkles on a woman mean she is OLD, 
|>yet on a man, they add character.  This 'youth oriented' 
|>culture leaves the over 40 woman out in the cold.
|>********************************************************************
 
In all my years of research I've noted that even a over 40 womens nipples
perk up when they`ve been out in the cold.

|Louise,
|Wherein is it written that an over-40 woman must set her sights on
|over-40 men only?  If you keep your eyes open, you just might find
|that there are younger men about who may find you attractive.
 
It sounds to me like Louise had isn't setting her sights on an over-40
man but a ProblemYoungerMan and that has found the attraction isn't
mutual.  

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: rohwerwd@netcom.com (Mr. Tickle Monster)
Subject: Re: Please . . . No More!!  I Won't Try it at Home! (Was: Re: More Do Not try this at home)
Organization: The Tickle Palace - Moonyvale, CA
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 05:23:07 GMT

In article <lit0dpINN1oi@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> smith@wesson.Eng.Sun.COM writes:
>
>In article 11370@sequent.com, rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec15.115120.1@cc.uvcc.edu> brownea@cc.uvcc.edu writes:
>>>In article <1992Dec11.191651.10925@sequent.com>, rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:
>
>	( Drivel about doors and drawers deleted )
> 
>Alright already!!!
>

     Nowrong nowait...

-- 
                                         +---------------------------------+
  +-----------------------------------+ /      Not a net.personality      /
 /   // Mr. Tickle Monster   // Amiga ++---------------------------------+
|  \X/   W. David Rohwer   \X/  3000  /  Internet: rohwerwd@netcom.COM  /
+------------------------------------+---------------------------------+
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 22:58:08 EST
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What would you do if...
Distribution: usa
 <1992Dec18.062411.28278@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>

Friend of mine managed to say something very sensible about this
once - a triangle would be rather nice, but angles are a pain.

By going out with both of them, you've created a relationship between
them.  Unfortunately, that relationship is becoming defined as
competing for your affections; if you want something stable, their
relationship has to change to something that admits of stability.

With most folks, this is very, very hard, because the idea of
a relationship that isn't a mutual possession contract is a lot
of work to get comfortable with.

Graydon
From: jm0i@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JOSEPH ALOYSIUS MCVEIGH)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Attraction -> Acquiantance or vice versa?
Date: 14 Dec 92 19:53:49 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University


stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:

>>For example, there was a period in my life in which several men behaved in
>>a semi-friendly, semi-romantic way toward me, courted me with one hand and
>>held me at arm's length with the other. Obviously they found me attractive
>>in some way, but it was not a kind of attraction that they could resolve
>>into either friendship or romance.


krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith) writes:

>Hi Stef,
>That's a new one for me.... the pushme-pullyou relationship :-)
>I would be interested in hearing how you first met these "ambivalent" men.
>Was first contact by means of you approaching them, of them approaching
>you, or by third-party introduction?  I cannot help but think that
>ambivalence on the part of the one is more likely to happen when first
>was initiated by somebody other than the one.  What do you think?

Sorry to butt in, but I thought I could contribute $0.02.

I'm involved in several of these "friendships" right now. The means of initial
introduction has been pretty much inconsequential. I've approached, been
approached, met at work, and been introduced by friends, all leading to the
"yes and no" brand of quasi-friendship. The only common element is that none
of the women involved have cats...


-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph Aloysius McVeigh |"It was a funny name. I felt sure I could remember
   jm0i@.Lehigh.edu     | anyone with a name like Aloysius. It was a good
       "N.I.N.A."       | Catholic name."            - Ernest Miller Hemingway
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: gds@york.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Originator: gds@york.cs.ucla.edu
Reply-To: gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Organization: in your face!
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 20:22:38 GMT

In article <15999@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>Sigh.  You still don't get it.  The key word there is "gift".  Perhaps
>a Christmas present was a poor example.  Again, the key word is gift.
>It has nothing to do with gender.  It has nothing to do with tradition.

Nope, John, *you* still don't get it.
However, that's ok.  If it doesn't matter to you that you may be
spending money on people who feel it's their right to have money spent
on them, so be it.  It's your money.
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Thursday, 17 Dec 1992 09:45:32 CST
From: <U60703@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: How come we aren't getting it?
Distribution: na
 <1992Dec16.141836.21106@cbfsb.cb.att.com> <1992Dec17.035947.8045@mtu.edu>

In article <1992Dec17.035947.8045@mtu.edu>, rossi@mtu.edu (Rossi) says:
>
>In article <1992Dec16.141836.21106@cbfsb.cb.att.com> jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com
>(james.j.dutton) writes:
>>
>>Desperately seeking Daniel Moscny. Daniel Moscny are you out there.
>>We've taken a hit. Loosing altitude. SOS. SOS. I can't fight the good
>>fight w/o some fertilizer. Lets change that to fodder. Plenty of fertilizer.
>>Where for art thou.
>>
>>Do tell. I feel we're avoiding the aforementioned opportunities in a
>>somewhat symbionic desire to toe the line, hold the gains. Therefore I
>>propose we join as one to stananktify the very core of the essence that
>>perpetuates the desire to remain different as juxtasupposed to a joining
>>of the minds. That is to say, to mold the very existence of mankind and
>>womankind into a greater whole for the betterment of the mext generation.
>>Pip, pip and all that rot. Cheerio and milk. Tar Tar and white fish.
>


HEY!!! I don't need this kind of abuse from you...I can just go home for the
holidays you Know!!!!

C :)
>   Poor, poor jjd.  (Jumpin Jack Daniels in my lexicon)  I hope you pull
>out of this impending crash.  Where would I be without you?  Lost.
>Wandering from post to post without an able compass to guide my
>innermoist bean.  (I bee leave he composted his undies again!)
>
>   songbird - me thane you tar -zan
>
>{
>tar: z: unknown option
>tar: usage: tar -{c....
>
>}
From: smith@wesson.Eng.Sun.COM (Nina S. Smith - SunSoft Product Marketing)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Please . . . No More!!  I Won't Try it at Home! (Was: Re: More Do Not try this at home)
Date: 16 Dec 1992 01:09:13 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems
Distribution: world
Reply-To: smith@wesson.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: wesson


In article 11370@sequent.com, rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:
>In article <1992Dec15.115120.1@cc.uvcc.edu> brownea@cc.uvcc.edu writes:
>>In article <1992Dec11.191651.10925@sequent.com>, rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:


	( Drivel about doors and drawers deleted )
 
Alright already!!!

-- Nina


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA (dreas)
Subject: Re: Stoke Dat Pizza Oven
Reply-To: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA
Organization: University of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 92 06:16:58 GMT

In article 28911@netcom.com, rohwerwd@netcom.com (Mr. Tickle Monster) writes:
>In article <MARTINC.92Dec12161856@hatteras.cs.unc.edu> martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec12.090324.9958@netcom.com> rohwerwd@netcom.com (Mr. Tickle Monster) writes:
>>
>>  >In article <1992Dec11.032838.25983@sol.UVic.CA> atovorni@engr.UVic.CA writes:
>>  >>>>[deleted]
>>  >>>>		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
>>  >>>[deleted] 
>>  >>>               Sesquipedalian
>>  >>[deleted]
>>  >
>>  >[deleted]
>>
>>My, that was certainly enlightening.
>>
>
>     Inside joke.                                       ()
                                            O
Inside your head, I guess.         o
Just don't tickle me, OK?  </.Q   
                               \
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dreas
From: mlinda@novell.com (M'Linda Taylor)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re:  Danger, Will Robinson!
Date: 11 Dec 92 17:57:46 GMT
Organization: Novell Inc., Austin, TX

In article <9212100255.AA08139@inet-gw-2.pa.dec.com> e@uiboise.idbsu.edu writes:
>> 
>> 
>
>> I'm a 31 year old Christian who (I have been told) is Beautiful/
>
>      Oh, man.  A Connecticut Christian in Utah.  

Shouldn't that be "A Conneticut Christian in Texas?".
'Tis a clever word play though.  %>

M'Linda

************************************************
*           - Lonestar -                       *
*Internet: mlinda@novell.COM                   *
*UUCP: {ames,sun,apple,amdahl}!novell!mlinda   *
************************************************
Newsgroups: soc.singles