From: DeadHead@cup.portal.com (Bruce M Ong)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,ba.singles
Subject: Re: Pre-Sex Contract
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 92 11:22:51 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: ba
  <1992Dec7.052119.21258@netcom.com> <71171@cup.portal.com>
  <1992Dec11.014025.24137@netcom.com>

rohwerwd@netcom.COM  wrote:
>In article <71171@cup.portal.com> DeadHead@cup.portal.com (Bruce M Ong) writes
:
>>rohwerwd@netcom.COM  wrote:
>>
>>	Say it went on like that for 10 sessions and your anxiety level
>>was still up there and you were still having headaches and you still couldnt
>>sleep at night and you still found life after 30 to be meaningless... would
>>you go to him for the 11th session, taking along with you a contract that
>>required him to sign and guarantee that you receive successful treatment, or
>>would you rather go find somebody else?
>
>     No, I would not have him sign a contract because I recognize that
>for me to change I need to do the work and that some problems take more
>than 10 sessions to cure.
>
	I like that answer.

>>....the only
>>thing one can do is to take proper precautions so that nothing STUPID happens
,
>>and then, live. 
>>
>
>     But, I think that one needs to plan on the courses of action if the
>precautions do not work.

	Agreed. But there is planning, and then there is PLANNING. I too 
believe that it's better to do the damange control BEFORE hand so that nobody 
gets hurt, and it's the responsible thing to do -- granted that the damange 
control process may not be very comfortable to discuss for some people (but 
hey, we are all grown up adults). However, I think to go as far as writing up
a contract asking for signatures is terribly tactless and socially lacking in
grace. I believe you can achieve the same final result by communicating
with each other verbally and emotionally and arrive at a level of trust that
you both feel comfortable. Sure, you may say, "But that's not the same as
signing a contract because if one changes her mind then you are screwed
[for lack of a better word]". Very true, but since I dont believe signing
a contract is the right thing to do, I'll have to accept the consequences of
my own ability to read people and my own ability to trust my own gut feelings.
>
>-- 
>                                         +---------------------------------+
>  +-----------------------------------+ /      Not a net.personality      /
> /   // Mr. Tickle Monster   // Amiga ++---------------------------------+
>|  \X/   W. David Rohwer   \X/  3000  /  Internet: rohwerwd@netcom.COM  /
>+------------------------------------+---------------------------------+

---
/bruce
	Hmmm. it's friday. MY GOOF OFF DAY!!! To break the record for the
longest .sig ever posted on usenet, and in an attempt to inject nonsense
into this already too serious thread, I leave you all with this food for
thought.

	Topography, by Sharon Olds

	After we flew across the country we
	got in bed, laid our bodies
	delicately together, like maps laid
	face to face, East to West, my
	San Francisco against your New York, your
	Fire Island against my Sonoma, my
	New Orleans deep in your Texas, your Idaho
	bright on my Great Lakes, my Kansas
	burning against your Kansas your Kansas
	burning against my Kansas, your Eastern
	Standard Time pressing into my 
	Pacific Time, my Mountain Time
	beating against your Central Time, your
	sun rising swiftly from the right my
	sun rising swiftly from the left your
	moon rising slowly from the left my
	moon rising slowly from the right until
	all four bodies of the sky 
	burn above us, sealing us together,
	all our cities twin cities,
	all our states united, one
	nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.