HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: iceman@tpki.toppoint.de (Kai Voigt)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,eunet.jokes,aus.jokes,afronet.humour,asia.funny
Subject: Re: Who wanted TOP 10 REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN MEN??
Keywords: may be offensive!
Date: 15 Apr 92 17:49:20 GMT
Organization: Toppoint Mailbox e.V.

lkoh@elman.austin.ibm.com (Lisa Koh;Austin) writes:

>i remember seeing a request for 52 (?) reasons why a 
>beer is better than a man

I think it was '52 reasons why beer is better than WOMEN'.
Don't be depressed, Lisa :-)

Ciao. Kai.

-- 
Kai Voigt, University Of Kiel, GERMANY  !  'to be is to do'   Immanuel Kant
e-mail : iceman@tpki.toppoint.de        !  'to do is to be'   Jean Paul Satre
phone  : +49 431 725324                 !  'do be do be do'   Frank Sinatra
From: rushing_tw@lrc.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: RE: More euphamisms for screwing
Date: 14 Apr 92 21:14:20 GMT
Organization: Lenoir-Rhyne College, Hickory, NC

Here's a few more that I have heard...

* playing hide the salami
* waxing the purple porpise
* muff diving
* the moisture missile demonstration


I'm sure there are tons more...

===============================================================================
Travis Rushing..."Trigger"  |  
LR College		    |  One man's wife... 
Hickory, NC, 28603          |       Is another man's folly!
                            |  
e-mail: RUSHING_TW@LRC.EDU  |  Screw 'em if they can't take a joke!
                            |  
===============================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: skydiver@dispates.u.washington.edu (People have real lives?)
Subject: Re: New Weird Al Album
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 12:30:49 GMT

In article <1992Apr13.081128.23112@rice.edu> mcbride@sawwhet.owlnet.rice.edu  
(Doug McBride) writes:
> 
> 
> Anyone know what songs he parodies this time?  The only one
> I've heard is the Nirvana takeoff, which was damn funny.
> 
> 
> By the way, I'm not sure my posts are getting through
> nationally, so if ANYONE reads this outside of Houston, drop
> me a line.  Thanks.
> 
I'm in Washington, and I see it.

-Cohort
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: guptaa@.alleg.edu (Godfather)
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Organization: Allegheny College
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 08:17:16 GMT

In article <8a2XiB1w164w@bluemoon.rn.com> dougger@bluemoon.rn.com (Doug Stevenson) writes:
*dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Korth) writes:
*
*> In <1992Apr08.060333.45618@yuma.acns.colostate.edu> maxwell@lamar.ColoState.E
*> 
*> >In article <dragon.702618622@camelot> dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Ko
*> >>In <1992Apr06.051634.41805@yuma.acns.colostate.edu> maxwell@lamar.ColoState
*> >>
*> >>>In article <1992Apr6.010309.10819@nic.unh.edu> ss1@kepler.unh.edu (The Rin
*> >>>>>>>I've told you once...
*> >>>>>> No, you haven't.
*> >>>>>Yes I have.
*> >>>>No, I haven't.
*> >>>This isn't an argument, it's just contradiction!
*> >>No it isn't.
*> >You just contradicted me!
*> No I didn't!
*This is futile!
NO IT ISNT!!!!

--
<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>/\<>\/<>
        			~~~~~~~~~guptaa@alleg.edu~~~~~~~~~~~
     o				My friends call me ______..in a nutshell.
 ___/(\/	I call myself a spaced out wasted entity existing in an
     <\		astract reality of unreal proportions.......	 
     " "......Touche pussycat!!
From: dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Korth)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: just seeing if this works
Date: 14 Apr 92 03:27:17 GMT
Organization: Bradley University

[uuencoded stuff deleted]

Now, do you mind telling us what you just posted?
--
*** Matt Korth *** dragon@camelot.bradley.edu *** dragon@buhub.bradley.edu ***
You are confused.  Black does not represent evil.  Black represents
anxiety.  Sen. Jesse Helms represents evil.

			--the Omniscient Usenet Oracle
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Yet Another License Plate
From: mehta@ucunix.san.uc.edu (mehta)
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 92 13:22:53 GMT
Organization: Univ. of Cincinnati

In article <1992Apr6.023134.21666@alw.nih.gov> twomey@helix.nih.gov writes:
>In article <29DBD252.53A6@deneva.sdd.trw.com> shla@spf.trw.com (Sheila Wallace)
>writes:
>>Seen on an expensive car in California, can't remember what
>>kind:
>>
>>XQUISIT -- exquisite
>>
>>Sheila
>>-- 
>>Sheila Wallace          (shla@spf.trw.com)
>>Phone: (310)812-7348    FAX: (310)812-8800
>>TRW, One Space Park, R2/2162, Redondo Beach, CA 90278
>>
>I once knew a urologist whose plate read:
>
>DICDOC

How about:

2PCME

raj
From: gtr0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (GLEN TORLEIF RYEN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: rape
Date: 9 Apr 92 22:44:13 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

>>>God this is tripe, this is like saying that people who who dislike people who
>>>commit rape, really want to commit rape. I assume this started of in America,
>>
>
Avoid rape.  Say yes.
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Saturday, 4 Apr 1992 15:14:35 MST
From: <C9M5R@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: add blonde joke to the list

Here's my contribution to increase the list:

How much does one prostitute and three blondes charge for their
services?

Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks....

Blair...
From: william.bbs@cybernet.cse.fau.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Helen Keller Jokes
Date: 9 Apr 92 18:36:29 GMT
Article-I.D.: cybernet.i88yiB12w164w
Organization: Florida Atlantic University, Boca Raton

> That's all I can remember for now, anyone else?

more...
               How'd she burn her left cheek (face!)?
                  -answered iron
               How'd she burn right cheek?
                  -they called back
Organization: Youngstown State University
Date: Wednesday, 8 Apr 1992 00:27:22 EDT
From: Chuck Slivkoff <00087452@ysub.ysu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Intel Ad shows static-proof CPU! :-)

Oh yeah, well, Intel has a TV commercial on the air (I think I saw
it during the NCAA Tourney)  that follows the path through a PC
and ends at the i486 with the generators on either side.

The commerical's cool, but why the generators??
____________________________________________________________
|O| Chuck Slivkoff    Youngstown State University        |O|
|O| 00087452@ysub.bitnet     ac357@yfn.ysu.edu           |O|
From: wilhelm@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Mr. Pavement Dance)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: WHAT IS THE REST OF LIMERICK
Date: 10 Apr 92 15:01:25 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center

In article   writes:
>
>On Three's Company (remember w/John Ritter?), there was a limerick he
>was about to say.  The beginning of it went something like this:
>
>There was a girl from Nantucket,
>...........
>...........
>
>After that Jack was interrupted.  Was there one in existence?
>The impression that I got was that it should not be said in public.
>If anyone knows anything about it; let alone knows how the limerick
>goes, please post it.  I'm rather curious....
>
>Blair....

I've heard

There once was a man from Nantucket,
His Dick was so long he could suck it,
He said, If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it.


I think that is the way it goes

my memory isn't to good.

Tony.
From: tcws@convex1.tcs.tulane.edu (Bill Sirinek)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: 1-800 Number in USA for Polish Jokes
Date: 9 Apr 92 20:02:26 GMT
Article-I.D.: cs.1992Apr9.200226.15795
Organization: Tulane University, New Orleans, LA
Nntp-Posting-Host-[nntpd-15724]: convex1.tcs.tulane.edu

In article <1992Apr9.180720.24060@wpi.WPI.EDU> sdoki@maxine.wpi.edu (Suresh Doki) writes:
>
>Shaun makes a feeble attempt:
>
>#Did you hear about the 1-800 number for Polish jokes?  Just dial:
>#	1-800-POL-ACKQ
>#If you like it, please tell your friends!
>#Shaun
>
>You DUMBO! how in the world did you expect anyone to try this number?
>There is no 'Q' in the phone alphabet.
>you definitely must be a Polack!
>
>Suresh

Actually, the 0 on your telephone not only signifys OPERATOR, but the Q and Z
letters as well.... 

To make this letter SOMEWHAT funny, here's an oldie, but a goodie...

What happened to the streaker when he ran across the church???






-They got him by the organ!!!!!

--
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Bill Sirinek                     Snail: Box 3799, Tulane University     |
| Computer Science Major                  New Orleans, LA 70118           |
| Tulane University               BITNET: tcws000@tcsmusa                 |
From: shankar@aspen.IAG.HP.COM (Shankar Unni)
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 00:01:28 GMT
Subject: Re: ARGUMENT ARGUMENT ARGUMENT ARGUMENT ARGUMENT
Organization: HP International Contract Programming
Newsgroups: rec.humor

In rec.humor, 00amwolf@bsu-ucs.uucp (Alex Wolf) writes:

> The Argument sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus
 
> Client played by Michael Palin (spoken quickly)
> Arguer played by John Cleese (spoken 'with feeling')
 
> 	<knock knock knock>
> JC:	Come in.
> MP:	Err, is this the right room for an argument?
> 	<pause>
> JC:	I've told you once.
> MP:	No you haven't.
> [ Ad infinitum ].

You're obviously not a real Python fan.  How could you just "skip" the
initial part (where MC walks into the "abuse" room instead of the
argument)? That was priceless..

(... stupid git! ...)  :-)
--
Shankar.
From: snail@lsl.co.uk
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Oxymorons Wanted...
Date: 8 Apr 92 15:11:44 GMT
Organization: Laser-Scan Ltd., Cambridge

In article <702272833.2@nwark.FidoNet>, Bob.Underdown@f1040.n391.z1.FidoNet.Org (Bob Underdown) writes:
> 
>  KH> > Progressive Conservative
>  KH> > Civil War
>  KH> Government organization
>  KH> Save on your next purchase
>  KH> 
> 
Conservative Government
-- 
===== Yes, it's meant to be a snail, I speak only for myself and my snail =====
===== not for Laser Scan.                                                 =====
                                                              *      *
Stephen Kellett                                _______         \    /
Software Engineer                            --   ___ --        \  /  
Laser Scan Ltd                              (    _   __ )      ======
Science Park                               (    (  |   ) )    =      =
Milton Road                                (     (_)    ))   =  *  *  =
Cambridge CB4 4FS                           (           )  ==   .  .  =
England                                      --       --===      ..  =
snail@lsl.co.uk                              ==_______             ==
(+44) 223 420414 ex 275              ========                  ====   
                          ===========                      ====      [ ]BEER
                       ====================================          | |CIDER
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: peterd@polari.com
Subject: Clinton Brown & Fonda
Organization: Seattle Online Public Access Unix.  (206) 328-4944 (all lines telebit-equipped)
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 18:50:51 GMT

The question has been raised: what do Bill Clinton
Jerry Brown and Jane Fonda have in common?

The answer usually given is that only Fonda went to Vietnam

"Ouch"

chus
pyotr

Are Sig files like belt buckles: the bigger the sig
the smaller the hardware?
From: guptaa@.alleg.edu (Godfather)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: OnE oN OnE!
Date: 6 Apr 92 08:06:19 GMT
Organization: Allegheny College



What did one soldier ant say to another soldier ant on a tree when she saw an elephant pass by?
--- crush him!!!!







--Gorkan!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: me@dispates.u.washington.edu (My Account)
Subject: Re: homosexual joke request
Keywords: drugs, lots o' drugs, much more than I can do myself
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 12:49:08 GMT

I wrote:
> What's the definition of a shame?
> 	A busload of faggots driving off a cliff.
> 
> What's the definition of a crying shame?
> 	2 of the seats were empty.
I thought of another one...

What's the polite thing to say at a gay bar?
	"May I push your stool in for you?"

How many fags can you fit on a barstool?
	Four, if you turn it over.
From: mcsweinberg@memstvx1.memst.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: <None>
Summary: exit
Date: 6 Apr 92 14:40:58 GMT
Article-I.D.: memstvx1.1992Apr6.084058.1738
Organization: Memphis State University

Commercials....

I work in a Department that handles computer support. We took the lines from
the phne commericial "What finger did you use...you hit the right key but
you hit it to hard etc..." to use when persons asked why the computer didn't
do what it was supposed to...

Rai.
From: johnson@spectra.com (boyd johnson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Polish Army
Date: 7 Apr 92 17:06:48 GMT
Article-I.D.: spectra.1992Apr7.170648.4354
Organization: Spectragraphics Corporation

In article <1992Apr3.180842.2364@smartstar.com> syspb@smartstar.com (Paul) writes:
>A few years ago, I saw an article about the Polish army.  They were making
>cardboard replicas of tanks, and putting them around the countryside.  This
>was to fool the Russians in to thinking they had more tanks.  True story.

That's what the Iraqi's did last year.  It worked pretty well too!
The main purpose, though, was to fool the pilots into bombing decoys.
Of course, it was their own pilots that bombed them.

OBJ:  Resurrected from last year (meaningful only to Americans)
Did you know the Iraqi consulate was protesting the World Series?
They said the Twins fans waving their white homer hankies were mocking
their troups.

-- 
========== Boyd Johnson	   nosc!spectra.com!johnson ==========
From: ssave@ole.uucp (Shailendra Save)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: STORY ABOUT HELL
Date: 7 Apr 92 00:20:43 GMT
Organization: Cascade Design Automation, Bellevue, WA

In article <1992Mar30.155459.4673@med.wcc.govt.nz> parks_typ@med.wcc.govt.nz writes:
>
> > Can someone please explain this to me!!! 
>>> 
>>>The people are all standing in a pool of shit up to their armpits 
>>>drinking coffee... 
>>> 
>>>The new guy in Hell thinks this ain't so bad... 
>>> 
>>>Then the Devil comes in and says, "Ok, everybody! Breaktime 's over. 
>>>                                    Down on your knees!"  :-) 
>>> 
>
>Aw, C'mon!  Even *I* understand that one and I'm a blonde!
>
>
>Rachel

 But the question is:  Are you a natural?

 -S
From: DAVIS@licra.dn.mu.oz.au
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Mary had a little... compilation
Date: 10 Apr 92 06:37:21 GMT
Organization: Ludwig Institute for Cancer Research

In article <1992Apr9.165147.7342@waikato.ac.nz>, deryl@waikato.ac.nz writes:
> 
> Since there are so many unemployed NZers over there, perhaps you could get
> them to teach you guys how to play cricket and sail boats?? (OK,OK, so
> we won't mention rugby....) ;-)
> 
> Deryl

I can see it now....
"Thus us how to play crucket"
"He's bun caught un slups!"
"Pull on the jub sheet"
"The wund us blowing about suxteen knots"

I'm not familiar with the game of rigby though.                    8^}

Ian Davis                            DAVIS@licr.dn.mu.oz.au
From: kgonsal@panda.eng.clemson.edu (Kenneth Gonsalves)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: joke
Date: 8 Apr 92 04:25:15 GMT
Reply-To: kgonsal@panda.eng.clemson.edu (Kenneth Gonsalves)
Distribution: usa
Organization: Clemson University Engineering Department

Mrs.Thomas to Friend : I think that Mr. Thomas has been unfaithful.

Friend : Why do you say so ?

Mrs. Thomas : I don't think he is the father of my kid.....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

			STATUARY DISCLAIMER
			-------------------
No flames please. The author nor his employer bear no liability for the 
sh!t, above. Any semblence found to reality would be a figment of the
reader's imagination or out of pure guilt feeling.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: csmith@onetouch.COM (Craig Smith)
Subject: Re: Helen Keller Jokes
Organization: MCS/OneTouch, Inc.
Date: Tue, 07 Apr 92 13:50:42 GMT

ksbolduan@amherst.edu writes:

>So, if Hellen Keller falls in a forest and there's no one else around does she
>make a noise?

I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!!

-- 
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::Craig Smith                                             csmith@onetouch.COM::
::Columbus, OH                                      ...!uunet!onetouch!csmith::
::"Life is a fulltime occupation."--Gene Kalman                              ::
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Wanted: JIVE, and a Joke ...
From: daniel@cosc.canterbury.ac.nz (Daniel Ayers)
Date: 7 Apr 92 19:19:48 +1200
Reply-To: daniel@cosc.canterbury.ac.nz
Keywords: jive, lex

Some time ago someone posted to this newsgroup two very funny programs
called JIVE and VALSPEAK.  I saved them, made them and still use them
today (on unsuspecting victims!) ... but I didn't keep the lex source!

We are about to teach lex to some third-year CS students, and I thought
the lex source for jive might be a good example for them to learn from
(hell, even if it isn't they'll enjoy it!!!)

Could anyone please post or email me the lex source to jive (any similar
sources will be welcome also).  Please, help to make Computer Science a
less boring subject to learn!!!!!

Thanks,
Daniel.
Sheeit. :-)

obj:

                     HOW TO EMBARASS A NOVICE BBS USER

                                  Lesson 1

Phil Katz' compression utility PK(UN)ZIP is an excellent tool for inducing
confusion and panic among inexperienced BBS users.

Imagine the reaction when your newest user types ...

	UNZIP TROUSER.ZIP

... and sees ...

TROUSER.ZIP:
 extracting: YFRONTS
 exploding: BALLS
 unshrinking: DICK

TROUSER.ZIP has no errors

Even more fun ensued when a feature called "security envelope" (aka. condom)
was added to ZIP, but that's another story ...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daniel Ayers, Honours Student              email: daniel@cosc.canterbury.ac.nz
Department of Computer Science      snail: PO Box 20082, Christchurch 8030, NZ
University of Canterbury             BBS: +64-3-352-1528 (Fidonet 3:770/140.0)
Christchurch, NEW ZEALAND                        phone: +64-3-667-001 ext 8116
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: DAVID.BUSHONG@OFFICE.WANG.COM ("Dave Bushong")
Subject: Re: Wayne's World
Organization: Mail to News Gateway
Date: 08 Apr 92 13:52:42 EST

someone without a clue writes:

>>> Shaw...right!!
>>As ... if !
>Would all the idiots who keep posting this, STOP!  It's not funny.
Wood awl rots when in posts.  Stop!  It's a bunny!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jtravers@pomona.claremont.edu
Subject: Net Abbreviations
Organization: Pomona College
Date: 14 Apr 92 22:56:14 PDT

Could someone please e-mail me a listing of net-abbreviations?  

stuff like IMHO, BTW, etc, and their corresponding meanings...

much appreciated!


trazer
	jtravers@pomona.claremont.edu
(Just filed a report for my stolen .sig)

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: amcandel@eos.ncsu.edu (Alex Candelaria)
Subject: Re: hmmm
Originator: amcandel@c00478-224wi.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: amcandel@eos.ncsu.edu (Alex Candelaria)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 21:21:58 GMT


In article <1992Apr3.185919.6837@animal.inescn.pt>, rsm@calimero.inescn.pt (Rui Soto Marta) writes:
From: rsm@calimero.inescn.pt (Rui Soto Marta)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: hmmm
Date: Fri, 3 Apr 92 13:59:19 EST
Reply-To: rsm@calimero.inescn.pt (Rui Soto Marta)
Organization: INESC-Porto, Portugal

In article <1992Apr2.204608.1550@merrimack.edu> pa_andy@merrimack.edu (The  
Wolf) writes:
>In article <1992Mar31.174433.468@ualr.edu>, choate@acs.harding.edu (Brad S.  
Choate) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>a
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>by
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>cat
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>duke
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>eagle
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>fellow
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>genetic
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>happened
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>injustice
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>juvenility
>>>>>>>>>>>>>kleptomania
>>>>>>>>>>>>lexicography
>>>>>>>>>>>metamorphosis
>>>>>>>>>>neocolonialism
>>>>>>>>>organophosphate
>>>>>>>>prestidigitation
>>>>>>>quattuordecillion
>>>>>>representativeness
>>>>>sesquicentennarians 
>>>>telelectrocardiogram
>>>uranostaphyloplasties
>>ventriculosubarachnoid
>whosefuckingideawasthis 
>xradiationhasthisidefect
I'vefallenandIcan'tgetup!!!!
From: axd7104@acfcluster.nyu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Don't read this
Date: 10 Apr 92 04:40:58 GMT
Organization: New York University

David--

If you're that hard up for sex, I know some Stern bimbos here in
Weinstein that you ought to meet.

-- 
Aaron Dickey                      Bitnet: axd7104@nyuacf
New York University             Internet: axd7104@ACFcluster.nyu.edu

Al Roker Is God.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: le02195@portal.lasc.lockheed.com (BARDIN, BETHANY L.)
Subject: Re: Funny Abbreviations/ Acronyms for Cars...?!?!?!?
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Lockheed Aeronautical Systems Co. - Rye Canyon
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 92 06:36:29 GMT

In article <1992Apr14.115405.22380@u.washington.edu>, skydiver@dispates.u.washington.edu (People have real lives?) writes...
>In article <1992Apr5.065814.1061@pellns.alleg.edu> dudleyr@.alleg.edu (GRUB)  
>writes:
>> In article <1992Mar30.114116.54025@cc.usu.edu> sly9y@cc.usu.edu writes:
>> > In article <2159@gandalf.intel.com>, linda@linda.intel.com (Linda Harbin)  
>writes:
>> > > In article <1992Mar20.175939.15755@en.ecn.purdue.edu>,  
>kho@en.ecn.purdue.edu (Ping Phing Kho)  
>> writes:
>> > > |> I heard this from a friend of mine who doesn't like his Ford:
>> > > |> 
>> > > |> 	FORD = Fixed Or Repaired Daily
>> > > |> 
>> > > |> Anybody.... has anymore cute stuff like that?
>> > > |> Please e-mail them to me (or better... POST IT!!!!)
>[other stuff removed]
> 
>DODGE = Dead Or Dying Gas Eater

 *FORD* = Found on road dead
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: tdlowe01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu (Tony D. Lowe)
Subject: Re: A Practical Joke
Organization: University of Louisville
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 19:31:43 GMT

On the Friday before April 1st this year I got my wife good.  I was at a
local mall doing some shopping and I knew that she had a hair-cut
appointment at 3:30, but she didn't know that I was there.  So, while she
was inside, I found her car in the parking lot and exchanged it with mine. 
I took everything out of her car that she had with her and put it in my car,
then adjusted the seat and mirrors as best I could and set the radio
station.  I also removed everything from my car that I had with me.

When she came out of the mall, she walked down the row looking for a white
car, but there wasn't a single one parked in that row.  She thought she was
in the right row, of course, but started looking in other rows.  Then she
happened to spot a blue car that looked vaguely familiar.  It even had the
same pin-stripping.  But she had to look at the license plate to be sure.  I
certainly had her confused -- she even began to doubt which car she had been
driving.

I only wish that I had stuck around to watch; man, was she upset when she
got home.  It was definitely worth it!  :-)

  Tony D. Lowe, The HapMaster BITNET:   tdlowe01@ulkyvx.bitnet
  North Computer Center       INTERNET: tdlowe01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu
  University of Louisville       or     tdlowe01%ulkyvx.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu
            "Another brilliant mind ruined by higher education."
From: skydiver@dispates.u.washington.edu (People have real lives?)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: add this to your blonde jokes
Date: 14 Apr 92 12:51:56 GMT
Organization: University of Washington

In article <1992Apr13.174004.29932@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> sag0798@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu  
(Sassan Attari ) writes:
> Q:  Why did the blonde cross the road?
> 
> A:  I don't know, but what the fuck was she doing out of the kitchen?!
> 
You let a Blonde loose in the kitchen?    You nuts???

-Cohort