HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Stupid Cycling Helmets!!!
Date: 12 Sep 1992 17:38:17 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu

In article <bfrrelly.716200614@unix2.tcd.ie> bfrrelly@unix2.tcd.ie (Jerry Cornelius) writes:
>
>  PLEASE PULL OVER....Style Police madam, please remove that offensive 
>helmet from you're cranium, people in the vicinity have objected....

Peeve: Self-proclaimed "Style Police"

>   No, but really, why oh why oh why do certain cretins insist on
>wearing those stupid cycling helmets even though they have long since 
>left their bicycles. This morning alone, I have seen 3 people wandering
>around with these offensive articles On their nuts, I mean, Christ,
>nobody could overloOk the fact that they have more poltstyrene on their
>head than you could point a fucking stick at!!!! I'm tempted to get a
>large mirror and making them see reason..."Look at the fucking head on
>you, shitforbrains, you obviously do not need to protect you're head,
>cos there is nothing up there if you would walk around looking like
>that!". 

So where else is one to put one's helmet after one has debiked? Carrying
the damn thing around is a pain in the butt. Can't lock it to the bike,
either, and if it isn't locked, someone will take it. Hey, wait! I
guess that's a peeve!

I'm sure none of them care that *you* think they look like dorks. And if
you confront them with a mirror, I suppose they could just headbutt
you without discomfort.

>AntiPeeve: Got word to say that we have got free accomidation for my
>forthcoming holiday in London, in a, wait for it *HOTEL*!!!! Fuck me,
>and I was happily contemplating kipping on the floor of peoples flats, 
>ahhhh the lap of luxury.....

Funny how London hotels often have the atmosphere of a camp-out on
a friends floor anyway. I wouldn't get too excited.

>AddedNoCanDoPeeve: Being overcome with the sudden desire to get
>extermely drunk, be totally obnoxious to lots of people and rounding off
>the night by getting violently sick on somebody's head. Alas, I am
>saving for my holiday.....

Yeah, but if they're wearing a bike helmet, they can just rinse it off
nicely without getting themselves all messy...

Peter!

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: on men
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 92 20:47:45 GMT
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Keywords: giant toilet bowls, rump deformities

In article <1992Sep9.194913.21584@umbc3.umbc.edu> Laura Potler (GSFC) writes:

>peeve: men who insist on going to the bathroom outdoors when there's
>	indoor facilities nearby.

Just marking territory, Laura, nothing to get upset about.  Remind me to
tell you about Bohemian Grove sometime.

>-lp  **********************************************************************

-- 
Rick Gordon       | "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly
rickg@netcom.com  |  and I did.  I said I didn't know."  M. Twain
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: charless@sco.COM (charles stross)
Subject: Re: Contest!
Organization: The Somewhat Contagious Operation, Inc.
Date: Mon, 07 Sep 1992 07:49:35 GMT
Keywords: Losers


In article <z2jn9n-.rickg@netcom.com> rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon) writes:
>In article <1992Sep01.181811.22697@CS.ORST.EDU> tim@physics.orst.edu writes:
>
>> [ ... ]
>>Why a contest?  Well, because I'm bored and Peevetown has been really
>>dead lately.  I expect my home village to keep me better entertained.
>
>This is the darkness before the dawn, or the calm before the storm, the
>chili before the heartburn, choose your own metaphor.  It's the
>beginning of September, which means another freshman class is about to
>be unleashed onto the net.  A month from now you'll remember these days
>of relative inactivity with wistful fondness.

Can you spell ``hunting season'' ?

Peeve: that I should be tempted to stoop so low as to look for
ignorant clueless fresh[wo]men to grill. And there I was, thinking
I was a _nice_ guy!

MegaPeeve: publishers who slip their schedule by an entire year.
Here I am, waiting eagerly for a certain book to come out, when I
hear that it's been put back by all of _twelve_months_. What are
they playing at?

GenericPeeve: people who put tapes back in the wrong cover. Especially
when it was me, four years ago, the last time I listened to it. (One
of these days I'm going to have to do something about my tape
collection. Yeah, preferably with a bottle of toluene and a match.)



-- 
this signature rescued by the .sigfile liberation front
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Concert peeve!
Date: 4 Sep 92 19:27:49 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <1992Sep3.192831.988@intelhf.hf.intel.com> dcovell@pcocd2.intel.com (David Covell) writes:
>
>!peeve:  Surreptitiously bouncing a dime off the back of said mesomorph's
>thick skull and enjoying the sight of him raving, threatening, and posturing
>to the crowd with no target for his rage. Sure, he may have killed me had he
>known, but he was just as lacking in clues as in social skills.
>Best dime I ever spent!!!!



Next time, use a roll of pennies.

Trust me on this.


ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: on men
Date: 11 Sep 1992 22:52:38 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article laupjbINN13c@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM, banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>Peeve: People, mostly women, that go apeshit if there isn't sanitary
>porcelain facilities immediately available.

I was thinking about this as I drove from San Francisco to Vancouver
last weekend past innumerable "rest stops".  My theory is that there's
this enormous destructive urge in people, which men satisfy in a myriad
of ways, but which women sublimate by dumping a load of shit onto
something as white and clean as possible.

---
Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
        The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
          It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.

From: reykja@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Reykja Sigurdsson)
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 07:34:48 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: The unbearable shitsubo of being
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: alt.peeves

> I don't understand why parents would go for a common theme with their
> kids' names -- or follow any particular pattern or tradition, for that
> matter.  Kids are individuals, and their names should reflect that.  
> 
> 
> Geoff

        If people want their names to reflect individuality, then why not
be a true individual and choose for yourself? ;-)
From: diana@wetware.com (CatWoman )
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: on men
Keywords: giant toilet bowls, rump deformities
Date: 11 Sep 92 16:37:08 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare MouseCatcher

I am a girl, I enjoy BEING a girl, I really have no penis
envy - except under two very specific circumstances.  One
of which is the following:

banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:

] (Laura Potler (PP4U)) writes:
] >peeve: men who insist on going to the bathroom outdoors when there's
] >	indoor facilities nearby.
] 
] Let me get this straight, potler:  If I'm in my back yard, I'm
] supposed to go into the house and piss in some porcelain bucket?  Why?
] Is this supposed to be one of those women's rights things?  Deal with
] it.  Nobody's stopping you from doing the same, and it isn't my damn
] fault that you can't do it without dropping trou.

It's a ROYALLY Peevesome problem that I cannot just
quickly go find a tree and relieve the bladder pressure.

Of course there is a difference between what Banta is 
describing and having some drunk pee on your car - 
or your shoes.

] Peeve: People, mostly women, that go apeshit if there isn't sanitary
] porcelain facilities immediately available.

It's not the porcelain or the sanitation that's the
requrement - it's the bogroll.  As someone here a
while ago said, in response to the eternal question
of why women seemed to USE so much paper - picture
a bearded man drinking at a fountain.  I don't know
if this is true of all women, but my aiming abilities
are nill with the equipment provided by nature, and
most of the surrounding area gets soaked.  The facility
helps to contain the spray - but the paper is still
helpful in drying off the rest - and I HATE damp 
sticky underwear that are not the result of an amorous
encounter with the PYM.

] >obcuriosity: do you suppose that after years of wearing a wallet in
] >	the same pocket, men's rumps start to deform to accomodate
] >	the wallet?
] 
] Doubt it.  After years of carrying a purse, do women's shoulders get
] little rain gutters in them?

Yes.

Actually - the shoulder tends to drop on one side so
the woman is hunchbacked.  Give me a backpack ANY day,
if I really need to carry that much - otherwise, 
wallet in the pocket and a belt-loop clip for my keys.

Diana
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Parents who subject their kids to strange names (and watches)
Date: Mon, 07 Sep 92 18:05:48 GMT
Organization: Angry Bob's Red Hot Weasels

In article <1992Sep7.124355.5686@tdb.uu.se> t88swa@tdb.uu.se (Sven Wallman) writes:
>
>a sex change operation only costs app. 150 dollars in Russia.
>peeve: it costs about 45 dollars to get a haircut in Sweden.

I said "just a *little* off the top!" What am I gonna tell my wife!?!

Dan
-- 
"If you do a rain dance in front of 200 middle-class Americans you can be
pretty sure that you're gonna be videotaped." --Elanine Richards
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Snidely Whiplash)
Subject: Seating games (was NRK, Grooming, and Student Fees)
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Association for the Elevation of the Anxiety Quotient
Distribution: alt
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 21:43:13 GMT


In article <1992Sep8.220418.1870@umbc3.umbc.edu>, potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
[kandolfpeeve deleted]
|>completelydifferentclassseatpeeve: people who got bent out of shape because
|>	i often switched seats from class to class. what's the big deal?
|>	change your perspective. make a new friend. get a life.
|>
|>!peeve: it was an easy way to separate the uncool from the way cool.

!peeve yerself. I used to derive great joy from disturbing me fellow
classmates. I'd spend a few days to see who habitually sat where and then
would arrive early and plant myself in one of the habitue's posts. The look on
the chosen victim's face typically expressed an amount of distress far in
excess of what such seating deprivation should provide an otherwise mature 
human. OTOH, the incident frequently provided an opening for conversation and
later a friendship. I actually converted some half dozen otherwise shy folk
into seat pirates in one semester and we formed a merry band of gadflies

--
Nolan "Gotta keep things stirred up" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com				Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"
From: tjc@castle.ed.ac.uk (A J Cunningham)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Some Peeves
Date: 9 Sep 92 11:16:03 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University Colouring Book Software

Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:

>The woman is the religious equivalent of a proximity mine. Walk within 5
>metres of her and she'll start talking at you. As I proceeded away from her
>down the centre of the shopping centre towards Peevacentre itself, she
>could be heard assailing anyone who came within that radius with "Do you
>know..."  etc etc etc. I doubt that she was even there to shop - she
>probably just goes there to annoy the shoppers. Well, not *intentionally*
>annoy them, I know, but this self-appointed zealous missionary has probably
>done the cause of Christianity in the Kings Buildings campus area more
>damage than, oh, let's not beat about the bush, than the Inquisition did
>for Catholicism in Spain.

It gets worse, !Al. I recently travelled nearly four hundred miles with
tht e express intention of seeing the Kellog's Tour of Britain cycle
race starting from Edinburgh. Now who do you think was on the Mound
Precinct that morning along with the lycra clad hordes? Yup, that's
right, TheJesusLovesYouWoman (and TheFlatmateFromHell but that's not
important right now). She's obviously widening her area of operations.

Peeve: trying to get Robert Millar's autograph while some demented woman
explains that Jesus loves me and died for my sins.

!Peeve: Telling Greg Lemond what a faggot he is. I dunno if his decision
to abandon the race was related to this but I certainly hope so.

>(*) Correct response, delivered in a suitably sepulchral voice, is "Yes,
>but my master Satan, lord of darkness, pays dividends." 

I find "You're perfectly correct" works wonders. 
T



-- 
Tony Cunningham, Insignia Solutions. 				   tjc@ed.ac.uk

Yes, I carry a grudge. If someone pokes me in the eye, I'll poke both of
their eyes. larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: on men
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 92 16:47:11 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <SHAFER.92Sep12184016@ra.dfrf.nasa.gov> shafer@rigel.dfrf.nasa.gov (Mary Shafer) writes:
>CB> ObSpellingPeeve: After living here for years, I still have no idea if 
>CB> "Bernalillo" is the correct spelling. I have, however, finally gotten
>CB> the hang of Albuquerque.
>
>Does this mean that you don't want to hear that Albuquerque is spelled
>wrong?  It should be Alburquerque, but the original founders messed up.
	Hardly! It is obvious that they intentionally changed the spelling
just to piss the old duke off. I can just see it now...

Original Founder #1: I hate that old duke! He is such a fuquestayne[*]!
OF#2: Yeah, but we already promised to name the city after him. Whatta
dilemma. Everybody hates him. What are we gonna do?
OF#1: I know! We'll misspell the name and just claim that the name was just
too damned hard and we just screwed up. After its named there will be nothing
he can do about it. 

NOTE: "OF" does not stand for "Old Fart" anywhere in the above exchange.

>Oh, well, the Duke of Alburquerque seems to have forgiven them and even
>shows up for special events.
	We knew all along that the miserable twit would come crawling back,
begging for forgiveness. It was just a matter of time.
	
[*] Historically, this is the first known usage of the words "fuquestayne".
Reportedly, OF#1 was, in fact, Geoffery de la Miller, the famous Spanish
conquistador. 

-- 
"Hey, Guido! It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and
you're the lemon merchant. Getit? And he knows it! That's why he's gonna kill
us. So we gotta beat it. Yeah, before he lets loose the marmosets on us! - Ren
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin-norman@CS.YALE.EDU (Norman Yarvin)
Subject: Re: Massachusetts (was Re: Boss Peeve)
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 05:35:55 GMT

z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>	And just what else, besides the USS Constitution, is there to
>see in MA?

The USS Massachusetts.

--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
From: padutton@banzai.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Massachusetts (was Re: Boss Peeve)
Date: 14 Sep 1992 16:22:31 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: banzai.wpi.edu

In article <1992Sep14.030607.11796@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:

[Dan hates Massachusetts laws]

>I don't like their laws.  For one thing,
>they refuse to let me carry my ObGun legally, which is a sure sign
>they don't think the citizens are responsible people.  

Nope, we just don't have enough of the pickup-and-tobacco-chawing-redneck
crowd that would complain. I mean, why in the hell would one NEED to
carry a gun other than to keep you cousin Elmer from your sister Ellie Mae?

(OK, that was a little more vicious than it had to be. Even still, why
would one NEED to carry a gun? Des Moines isn't that dangerous, is it?)

>I can sort of
>understand this based on their driving, but then again allowing
>passing in the break-down lane on the turnpikes during rush-hour is
>an inane law and serves no purpose.  Idiots who do this and run into
>a bridge would have been removed from the gene pool anyway, law or no.

Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. They move the bridges before
rush hour. Pretty neat engineering feat.

What makes this so inane? I'm confused. Do you ENJOY being stuck in
traffic jams?

>>Point 2: Perhaps you Iowans can't handle roads that aren't laid out
>>	in a nice grid and don't run straight for 14 miles?
>
>	Actually, I had a great time on the two-lane blacktops that
>went through what I'm sure they thought was a forest, but had the
>added excitement of blind driveways every hundred feet or so.  

I suppose it's no comparison to the Great Iowa Woods (sarcasm).

>Lots of twists and turns, presumably meant to be taken on horseback at
>one time, but now perfectly suited to losing tire tread on.  I
>never did see another pair of lights behind me for long, with the
>exception of a minivan driver who tried to tailgate me but kept
>falling way behind on the corners.  I probably should have driven
>a bit faster, but I was already ten above the limit and wanted to
>enjoy the sights a bit.

Are you talking about Mass? Are you actually admitting that there are
sights here?

>	And just what else, besides the USS Constitution, is there to
>see in MA?

Pro sports? Beaches? Trees? Good colleges?

Oh, and there are cornfields here too.

Yes, I've been to Iowa. It's nicer than Ohio or Nebraska, I'll admit.

>At the time, April was there, but now she's back in Iowa
>and, quite frankly, Disney World is too far to drive just to spend
>money at Disney World.  Datona Bike Week is worth it, Mickey Mouse
>is not.  Besides, at Daytona one usually gets to see a nice pair
>of jugs on many females and motorcycles too.
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Motorcycles have jugs?

Hmmmm.....

Peter!
From: mzraly@cs.umb.edu (Michael S. Zraly)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: HaircutPeeves (was: own private idaho)
Date: 6 Sep 92 09:47:52 GMT
Organization: UMass/Boston Dept. of Math & CS

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>
>This guy had two saving graces.  First and foremost, he gave good haircut,
>and for an eminently reasonable price.  Secondly, and almost as important,
>he had a rare and valuable quality in a barber: he was quiet.  [...]

booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
>
>	[...]
>
>!Peeve: I found an unchatty hair girl. She does damn fine work too.

This seems to be a general characteristic of quality worksmanship:
those who do damn fine work generally pay attention to what they are
doing rather than chatting it up and doing their work as a background
process.  I've also had the quiet barber = good haircut experience, but
it applies equally well to sackers and cashiers at supermarkets,
dentists, etc., at least 'round here.

This thread is beginning to remind me of "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle
Maintenance".  I'm not sure if that's a peeve or !peeve.

!Peeve: $6 for a decent cut just two blocks from home.

Peeve: I've been doubling full-time classes with full-time work so long
that a week with only full-time work seems like a vacation.  Oy!

Peeve: "doing their work as a background process" -- double Oy!

-- 
Mike Zraly		If you give me six lines written by the most honest
mzraly@cs.umb.edu	man, I will find something in them to hang him.
				-- Cardinal Richilieu
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Date: 14 Sep 92 11:51:48 GMT
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst

In article <1992Sep14.025449.11256@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Evil Incarnate) writes:
>jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Beauty Incarnate) writes:
>> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Lonely Boy) writes:
>

>>Actually, I don't think any of my friends have scanners either.  I take it
>>that my ASCII pix were not explicit enough, eh?  Sorry.
>
>	There's only so much resolution to be had on an 80x25 matrix, and
>as you might imagine the color contrast was also quite poor.
>

To aid in your visualization, I'm a fair-skinned caucasian, and my nipples
are a deep dusty rose.  If these colors don't seem right to you get new
graphics card.

>
>	Lemme guess, the houses don't have a stud in them -- it's all tongue
>and groove?

I like that, Dan.  I hope you don't mind if I appropriate it to piss off some
of my more PC neighbors.

>We.ll have to conduct the inspection
>using either dry ice or in a meat locker since the Constitution sails on
>Independence Day, but such trifles can be overcome.
>

Well, there's always Mike's suggestion of a pinch test.  Also the little
buggers pop up by themselves when I'm aroused, but I don't think that would
be liable to happen if you wre in the immediate vicinity, so maybe the meat
lockker is our best bet.

>
>	I was here first, twinkle-tits, and while you appear to have what
>it takes to make it here in Peevetown, ear-warmer is not going to be your
>occupation.  Eye-candy, perhaps, but certainly not ear-warmer.  Now if
>you had a flat spot on your head...
>

Well, I don't have a flat spot, but I *can* tie a knot in a maraschino 
cherry stem with my tongue.  I was doing it for years before Twin Peaks,
and unlike Sherilyn, I don't need any camera cuts to accomplish this.

Jenny


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
these opinions are mine and mine alone - now quit gawkin'!
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Buster Crabbes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: on men
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 10 Sep 1992 15:18:23 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com
Keywords: giant toilet bowls, rump deformities



In article <1992Sep9.194913.21584@umbc3.umbc.edu> potler@umbc4.umbc.edu 
(Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:

>peeve: men who insist on going to the bathroom outdoors when there's
>	indoor facilities nearby.

Why?  Because we can!


>obcuriosity: do you suppose that after years of wearing a wallet in
>	the same pocket, men's rumps start to deform to accomodate
>	the wallet?

I hate carrying my wallet in my hip pocket for any length of time.  That's
one reason I carry my day-to-day necessities in a small L.L. Bean day pack,
AKA my "counterculture briefcase."

Peeve:  The way some people give me funny looks and ask why I "carry all
that stuff around."  If I carried the same amount of stuff (which isn't
even all that much, just the usual wallet, checkbook, shades, calculator,
etc.) in a briefcase, they wouldn't even notice I had anything in my hand.

What I hate even more than carrying my wallet in my hip pocket is *sitting* 
on it.  I don't understand how anyone can do that; it drives me nuts.



Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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