HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: hudel@waterloo.hp.com (Chris Hudel)
Subject: Re: umm....question???? (What A Problem!)
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 13:11:48 GMT
Organization: Hewlett Packard (Panacom Division)
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.4 PL6]

:My fiance is a sophomore in college in a dual degree and will not
:graduate until 1995. Umm...since his parents are divorced, his father
:is legally obligated to pay his college tuition until he graduates.  If
:he and I marry, he will lose all his financial support.
: 
Whoa there!  You're telling me a father is *legally* obligated to
pay for his son's college tuition until he graduates?  Wow -- and I
thought the USA wasn't socialist.. :-)    

Sheesh.  Get married (if you want to) and pay for your own education,
with the help of some student loans.  Or get jobs. Lots and lots of
jobs.  They're what's putting me through university, not my folks.

Chris.
--
                                                         Chris Hudel
business: hudel@waterloo.hp.com                         519/883-3080
pleasure: chudel@watarts.waterloo.edu             
(Pleasure forwards to business...)       - all comments are mine, not HP's -
From: pepke@ds1.scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Marriage....how do you know if she's the one???
Keywords: marriage
Date: 29 Sep 92 22:10:07 GMT
Reply-To: pepke@ds1.scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)
Distribution: na
Organization: Florida State University, but I don't speak for them

In article <rg9538.717535150@ehsn14.cen.uiuc.edu> rg9538@ehsn14.cen.uiuc.edu (Ronald E Garnett) writes:
>
>  Not the child-bearing biological clock, the "all my friends are
>getting married, and if I don't get married soon I may be a 
>spinstress for my entire life" clock.

DANGER WILL ROBINSON!  

This is a very strong indicator that you are considering this choice for the
wrong reasons.

There is only ever one good reason to get married: because you have decided 
that you want to spend the rest of your life with a person.

There is only ever one good time to get married: when you have decided that
you want to spend the rest of your life with a person.

Accept no substitutes.

-EMP
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: fsquared@eff.org (Fawn Fitter)
Subject: Re: My girlfriend just died.
Originator: fsquared@eff.org
Organization: The Electronic Frontier Foundation
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 19:53:21 GMT

Oh god.
I swear on everything I fail to believe in that I will never again bitch 
and moan about my relationship problems or lack thereof.
I don't know you, but my heart goes out to you.
From: muradia@bcarh1ed.bnr.ca (Rajiv Muradia)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Wedding anniversary
Date: 5 Oct 92 13:34:05 GMT
Reply-To: muradia@bnr.ca
Organization: Bell-Northern Research

Any ideas for a romantic wedding anniversary day? What should be sent to my
better half besides balloons, flowers..?

-- 

Rajiv
From: peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Gift for the groom
Date: 1 Oct 1992 01:17:01 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: sandman.caltech.edu

K. Roper <ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> writes:

>1) Pocket watch.
>2) Swiss Army knife.

Are you *sure* he wouldn't rather get a crowbar???

							--  Michal
From: exujbl@exu.ericsson.se (Jerry Blackerby 214-907-7810)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: My girlfriend just died.
Date: 28 Sep 92 17:09:18 GMT
Reply-To: exujbl@exu.ericsson.se
Organization: Ericsson Network Systems, Inc.
X-Disclaimer: This article was posted by a user at Ericsson in North America.
              The opinions expressed are strictly those of the user and
              not necessarily those of Ericsson.

Scott,

My sympathies completely.

I nearly lost my wife 3 years ago to a heart attack, twice in the same day.
It really set my priorities straight.  I KNOW what is important to me.

A fine man told someone recently:

	"Love is my decision to make your problem my problem."

Take comfort in the fact that she has no pain now.

Take Care!
Jerry
==========================================================================
|| Jerry Blackerby 214-907-7810 (w) ||    Practice random kindness and  ||
|| exujbl@exu.ericsson.se           ||    senseless acts of beauty.     ||
==========================================================================
From: frampton@vicuna.ocunix.on.ca (Steve Frampton)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re:  Gift for Groom ~ 2
Date: 26 Sep 92 18:00:01 GMT
Reply-To: frampton@vicuna.ocunix.on.ca
Followup-To: soc.couples
Organization: Vicuna Systems, Kingston, ON (613) 547-5066
Content-Type: text

janeane@iastate.edu (Janeane Hascall) writes:

> I gave my husband a nice pocket watch (engraved on the inside) - he isn't
> at all fond of wrist watches, so this was a nice alternative.

I must concur.  My interest lies almost exclusively with computers and
things related to them.  For years I had been walking around with a $14
watch, and I would never pay a nickel more for one either.

For Christmas, however, my wife gave me a $250 Omega watch -- analog...
yes, no digits in sight!  :-)

Anyways, I continue to love it...and when it finally needs to be replaced
I can honestly say, after wearing it for almost 10 months that I could
never go back to those cheap watches.

The moral of the story?  Buy expensive!  :-)  No, kidding...the moral is
buy something untraditional for him/her.

+-----------------------------------------------+--------------------+
| Steve Frampton - frampton@vicuna.ocunix.on.ca | Steve Frampton     |
| I collect postcards!  If you send me one from | 501-A Princess St. |
| your area, I'll send one in return.  Send to >| Kingston, Ontario  |
| (Don't forget both email and mailing address) | CANADA   K7L 1C3   |
+-----------------------------------------------+--------------------+
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: oconnell@vms.macc.wisc.edu (Kevin Patrick O'Connell)
Subject: Re: My girlfriend just died.
Organization:  University of Wisconsin Academic Computing Center
Date: 28 SEP 92 21:04:31    

I'm deeply soory for your loss, Scott.  I hope you find healing and 
peace.  I will pray for you and your friend, and her family.  Be sure
to take good care of yourself!  

Kevin
From: ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA (K. Roper)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Gift for the groom
Date: 30 Sep 92 21:50:56 GMT
Article-I.D.: QUCDN.92274.175056ROPERK
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston

1) Pocket watch.
2) Swiss Army knife.


Kim
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: markp@cadence.com (Mark Papamarcos)
Subject: Re: Selfless Acts
Keywords: selfless, (Or I didn't anything for doing that?!?!?"
Organization: Cadence Design Systems, Inc.
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 01:36:04 GMT

The most selfless thing I can recall doing recently is getting married.
Well, maybe marriage isn't selfless in itself, but it certainly does
necessarily commit oneself to a very large number of selfless acts. :-)

I think anybody with kids should be able to come up with a few dozen
things right off the top. :-)

	Mark Papamarcos
	markp@Cadence.COM

"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it." - Emerson
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: fsquared@eff.org (Fawn Fitter)
Subject: Re: Wedding anniversary
Originator: fsquared@eff.org
Organization: The Electronic Frontier Foundation
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 19:25:44 GMT

muradia@bcarh1ed.bnr.ca (Rajiv Muradia) writes:
>Any ideas for a romantic wedding anniversary day? What should be sent to my
>better half besides balloons, flowers..?

>-- 

>Rajiv


You could always wrap yourself in festive paper and present yourself to her...

Jewelry is always nice.  Even something as small as little heart-shaped 
earrings will do it for the sentimental.  A romantic candlelight dinner in your
own home, say, in the living room.  Draw a bubble bath and offer to share it 
with her.  Send her a singing telegram (a silly one is good).
From: peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Gift for the groom
Date: 26 Sep 1992 23:28:34 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: sandman.caltech.edu

mary carpenter <MXC117@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:

>I know this has probably been mentioned a thousand times before...
>but any suggestions for a gift for the groom from his bride?  I want something
>that isn't cufflinks, and that is usable but won't be abused.  Preferrably
>some other type of jewelry or accessory... Any ideas?  Any unique twists to
>traditional gifts?
>Thanks.

My husband wanted a cordless electric screwdriver, so that's what he got.

>Also, any suggestions for color schemes for a June wedding for a bride and
>wedding party who don't care for pink?

What on earth does June have to do with pink?  Pick a color, any color....

							--  Michal

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: cos@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Ofer Inbar)
Subject: Re: Marriage....how do you know if she's the one???
Organization: Brandeis University
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 17:45:58 GMT

jbg@sei.cmu.edu (John Goodenough) writes:
>There is a great book available on the stages of developing a long-term
>relationship with someone.  The book is "A Fine Romance" by Judith Sills.  The
>book discusses the various stages (more than three, by the way) experienced
>when developing a relationship, and gives good practical advice about how
>to cope with the difficulties of each stage.

Aaaaaaarrgghhhh!!!

"This is how females communicate, this is how males communicate."
"Here are the X stages of a good relationship, and how to deal with
them."
"These are the basic types of relationships, and here is how to find
out which type yours is.  Which are good and which are bad?"
"This is a list of the problems that happen in a relationship, and how
each problem is supposed to be solved."

Such and such a book will show you how, cookbook style!

Why, oh why, do these things even sell?  For the same reasons tabloids
sell, as a source of amusement?  Perhaps some of them have something
worthwhile to say, but the claims they make and the selling points
described sound utterly ridiculous.  Forgive my harshness, but I am
perplexed to the point of frustration...

I have no problem with books about relationships, love, whatever.  But
when these books, start categorizing, classifying, generalizing,
offering step by step solutions, drawing artificial lines, etc., they
become the pop-psychology garbage that I despise.  The book mentioned
above may not be in that group; I don't know.

  --  Cos (Ofer Inbar)  --  cos@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu
  --  WBRS (BRiS)  --  WBRS@binah.cc.brandeis.edu  WBRS@brandeis.bitnet
   Love: a blurring of the distinction between selfish and selfless.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ellon@ADS.COM (Ellon St. Croix)
Subject: Re: Marriage....how do you know if she's the one???
Keywords: marriage
Organization: Wild Bill & BabyCat's House of Many Pleasures
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 16:41:34 GMT

In article <1992Sep26.041218.4121@cbnewsc.cb.att.com> kapa@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (k.a.perkins) writes:
>In article <rg9538.717446567@eehp5>, rg9538@eehp5.cen.uiuc.edu (Ronald E Garnett) writes:
>> True.  And I fear that she might be paying attention to her "clock"
>> and not really considering the consequences.  On the other hand,
>> I believe that she does really love me, so the "clock" isn't the
>> only factor.
>> On the positive side, I think I have decided on a thesis topic!  That in
>> itself is a major accomplishment!  BTW, for reference, our as of December
>> ages are 27 (me), 23(her).
>
>So, what clock are you talking about?  The one her grandmother
>promised her when she got married?  Sorry, I have trouble with the
>idea of a 23 year old being worried about her biological clock.
>Maybe it's because I had my first kid at 33 and am now going to
>have my 2nd at 36.  Obviously, other folks have different timetables,
>but life is longer than you think it is and full of possibilities.


 Well, AMEN!  I'm glad someone jumped in with this.  Let's get real
 here folks...this is 1992...Not the '50's where a woman was
 considered an old maid if she is not married by the time she is 25.

 Statistics show that BOTH men and women are waiting until they are 
 older and more established in their careers before marriage.  And for
 good reason too, with the cost of living so much higher than it was
 even when we were young(Us baby boomers) it is financially more
 feasible for us to wait to marry and have children.  And with the
 medical advances made in the last few decades there is NO REASON to 
 jump into marriage "to have children".  Why, even waiting until you 
 are in your thirty's is no big deal.  Hell...My own mother was 35 
 when I was born.  Granted, I was the youngest of 6 kids, but they
 did do things differently back in the 40's.  My mother has been able
 to see grand kids.  I mean, she is only 67 as it is, and hardly ready
 to kick the bucket, as it were.... And gee, if I'm lucky, she'll
 still be around in a few years when I decide that I am ready to start
 squeezing out babies.  What's the rush?  After all, I waited till I
 was 31 to get married.  

 If you are not ready to get married then DON'T.  It would be a BIG
 mistake.  

 This is, of course...JMNSHO!

 


--
"Excuse me,George Herbert,irregular-heart-beating,read-my-lying-lipping
slipping-in-the-polls,do-nothing,deficit-raising,make-less-money than 
Millie-the-White-House-dog-last-year,Quayle-loving,sushi-puking Bush!
I don't remember inviting your ass to my show!"  Arsenio Hall.
Xref: sparky soc.couples:3877 misc.legal:18041
Newsgroups: soc.couples

> 
> We found ourselves together after painful and helpful and wonderful
> discussions of similar things in our respective backgrounds. 
> (which I don't care to go into now)  I am normally someone who
> keeps to myself quite a bit.  I miss having her here now, and yet
> by the end of our last visit, I had had TOO much of her.  I needed
> my space, just a little of it, and I didn't know how to ask for it,
> because I hadn't really figured things out yet.  We have discussed
> what is wrong, but we don't really know what to do about it.  

         The obvious thing seems to be to live nearer to each other but
in separate residences -- or if you want to live together, you would 
need to respect each other's needs for private time. 

         I have gone through this with every man I've ever been involved
with as I am also one who likes to keep to myself a lot. There is no 
one on the planet who fascinates me so much that I want to be constantly
accompanied. I like alone-time. 

         Also, keep in mind that you will both have jobs and oher 
activities which will keep you apart at times. I've always found the
best thing to be an agreement which is discussed in advance. Just
talk to each other. You say that neither of you can come up with a 
solution which leads me to believe that someone is holding something
back and not being open. 

         It's really relatively simple; mutual respect. 

gud heffni..

-rks

(replies to rks@cscns.com

)

> 
> If anyone has any insights, they will be greatly apreciated, in mail
> or in posts here.  
> 
> --------
> 
> Much of how things go will depend on where we each end up one year from
> now.  (we are both just under a year away from graduation.)  We had
> mentioned that it would be nice to end up in the same place and live
> together, however I know that this will be too much too soon.  Everything
> is already going so fast... and time spent so far away isn't helping us
> figure out how we could deal with each other "24 hours a day".  On
> the other hand, STAYING this far apart will likely be just as bad or
> worse.  
> 
> I suppose the ideal would be to end up close together but not living 
> together (a financially "silly" arangement) so that we get a chance at
> a more "traditional" relationship for at least a while.  I am looking
> for things that we can do in the mean time.
> 
> 
> $----------------------------------------------------------------@
> The Name is King, but "Your Majesty" will do just fine, thank you!
> Scott King Walker  <--  scottk@cs.umd.edu  <--  scottk@eng.umd.edu
> Blessed Be the World.  Merry Meet,  Merry Part,  Merry Meet Again. 
> And just WHO is this "Merry" person anyway?  Blessed Be the Earth.
> #----------------------------------------------------------------!
From: D5JW@UNB.CA (D5JW000 Rogerio Enriquez)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: RE: My girlfriend just died.
Date: 30 Sep 92 12:58:15 GMT
Organization: The University of New Brunswick

Scott:

  My hart goes with you.

  Life and death are just part of the eternal circle of being
  Pain give us a chance to understand such circle
  Love keeps the wheel turning.

  When two complement human beings passes through this part of their
life-death there is no lost it is the opportunity to continue
with creation if consciousness exits.

emotionally, rogerio enriquez
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: luomat@carn16.alleg.edu (Tim Luoma)
Subject: Re: My girlfriend just died.
Organization: Allegheny College
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 23:59:54 GMT

Scott

I don't know you from Adam, and just happened to be passing through, but  
if I may be so bold, I would just like to tell you that I will remember  
you and Karla in my prayers (yes I'm one of those corny people who  
believes in the power of prayer, what can I say, I'm 19 and idealistic).   
I know by now you have heard everything about how she is in a much better  
place and has no pain now, but as much as that helps, it doesn't take away  
the pain that you feel from missing her.

Love in Christ,
TjL

--
Tj Luoma <luomat@alleg,edu>  //3 lines of sig to follow//
Just a lonely man looking for the love of a good woman, the comfort of
a steady job, and a place in this lonely world to call my own.
**Vote republican/Vote Democrat -I don't care as long as you vote**
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: D5JW000 Rogerio Enriquez <D5JW@UNB.CA>
Subject: RE: My girlfriend just died.
Organization: The University of New Brunswick
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 15:34:27 GMT

In article <30SEP92.09688658.0038@UNBVM1.CSD.UNB.CA> D5JW000 Rogerio Enriquez <D5JW@UNB.CA> writes:
>Scott:
>
>  My hart goes with you.
>
>  Life and death are just part of the eternal circle of being
>  Pain give us a chance to understand such circle
>  Love keeps the wheel turning.
>
>  When two complement human beings passes through this part of their
>life-death there is no lost it is the opportunity to continue
>with creation if consciousness exits.
>
>emotionally, rogerio enriquez
>
>.
>.
 Please, excuse my english .There should be heart instead of hart
and  loss instead of lost, I think.
R. Enriquez

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU (Debbie Adams)
Subject: Re: What adjectives do you think best describe romantic jealousy?
Organization: The University of Akron
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 05:29:28 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.234328.7537@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>
baltman@prodigal.psych.rochester.edu (Brian Altman) writes:
 
>I am putting together a survey on romantic jealousy. I'd like to include a
>part where I'd have 10-20 adjectives that people commonly associate with
>romantic jealousy and their feelings. A couple of examples I can think of
>off the top of my head are: angry, upset, lonely. I'd like to get a few
>from a few dozen people so I can compile a list of the most common for use
>on the survey.
>
unhappy, hurt, mad, scared, shocked, disbelief, alone, wary, betrayed.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ellon@ADS.COM (Ellon St. Croix)
Subject: Re: Gift for the groom
Organization: Wild Bill & BabyCat's House of Many Pleasures
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 22:44:23 GMT


In article <92274.175056ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA (K. Roper) writes:
>1) Pocket watch.
>2) Swiss Army knife.

 3) RollerBlades! ;+)


--
"Excuse me,George Herbert,irregular-heart-beating,read-my-lying-lipping
slipping-in-the-polls,do-nothing,deficit-raising,make-less-money than 
Millie-the-White-House-dog-last-year,Quayle-loving,sushi-puking Bush!
I don't remember inviting your ass to my show!"  Arsenio Hall.
From: jaker@csugrad.cs.vt.edu (Jake Rose)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: My girlfriend just died.
Date: 1 Oct 92 07:21:51 GMT
Organization: Virginia Tech Computer Science Dept, Blacksburg, VA

luomat@carn16.alleg.edu (Tim Luoma) writes:

>Scott

>I don't know you from Adam, and just happened to be passing through, but  
>if I may be so bold, I would just like to tell you that I will remember  
>you and Karla in my prayers (yes I'm one of those corny people who  
>believes in the power of prayer, what can I say, I'm 19 and idealistic).   

I just turned 20 today, and I'm idealistic, too, and ideally we don't know
a thing about any "God" or any "afterlife," and from the scientific
evidence, there's no reason to believe that they're any more than outmoded
superstitions.


>I know by now you have heard everything about how she is in a much better  
>place and has no pain now, but as much as that helps, it doesn't take away  
>the pain that you feel from missing her.

The only place she exists is in the hearts and minds of those who knew and
loved her, and it is not herself but her memory and her affect on the world
for which he should carry on.  Hoping and wishing for her back won't get
anyone anywhere except depressed.  Agreeing that she is gone and learning to
live with that knowledge and being happy to have known and loved her is what
is important.  All of us have but a limited span of existence - it is a fact
of our nature, and shrowding that truth in falsehood doesn't help anyone.
The fact is that she's gone, and whether she is in some paradise fluttering
about on aerodynamically unstable wings and playing bad music on a harp 
[as Samuel Clemens put it] or whether she is gone forever makes no difference
in life.

>Love in Christ,
>TjL

Or don't, so long as you love.

>--
>Tj Luoma <luomat@alleg,edu>  //3 lines of sig to follow//
>Just a lonely man looking for the love of a good woman, the comfort of
>a steady job, and a place in this lonely world to call my own.
>**Vote republican/Vote Democrat -I don't care as long as you vote**

I quite agree with your sig - all three lines of it.

Wulf                    | "Martha, it's another one of those CS majors asking
jaker@csugrad.cs.vt.edu |  if cow chips are pin-compatible with 68040s..."
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: rg9538@ehsn14.cen.uiuc.edu (Ronald E Garnett)
Subject: Re: Marriage....how do you know if she's the one???
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Distribution: na
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 19:19:10 GMT
Keywords: marriage

kapa@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (k.a.perkins) writes:

>In article <rg9538.717446567@eehp5>, rg9538@eehp5.cen.uiuc.edu (Ronald E Garnett) writes:
>> True.  And I fear that she might be paying attention to her "clock"
>> and not really considering the consequences.  On the other hand,
>> I believe that she does really love me, so the "clock" isn't the
>> only factor.
>> 
>> 
>> On the positive side, I think I have decided on a thesis topic!  That in
>> itself is a major accomplishment!  BTW, for reference, our as of December
>> ages are 27 (me), 23(her).

>So, what clock are you talking about?  The one her grandmother
>promised her when she got married?  Sorry, I have trouble with the
>idea of a 23 year old being worried about her biological clock.
>Maybe it's because I had my first kid at 33 and am now going to
>have my 2nd at 36.  Obviously, other folks have different timetables,
>but life is longer than you think it is and full of possibilities.

  Not the child-bearing biological clock, the "all my friends are
getting married, and if I don't get married soon I may be a 
spinstress for my entire life" clock.  Statistics show that the
chances of getting married declines as a person gets older.  I have
no idea as to the exact numbers, but still the numbers are there.
I'm calling her concern with that fact her "clock."  I realize
I am incorrectly stealing the term.

   On the same lines, some people DO want to have children when they
are relatively young so that they will be able to see their grandkids
etc.  And since it's probably better to wait at least a few years
after marriage to have children, there is an actual scheduling
problem involved! Again, this is part of what I call her "clock."

   But, as you said, different people have different timetables.

Regards,
Ron Garnett