HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ss1@kepler.unh.edu (The Rink)
Subject: MY PHONE NUMBER
Organization: Turkey Hall
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 01:13:26 GMT

Hello.  My phone number is 603-862-7435.

Objokes:


Reasons Why Beer is Better than Cucumbers
-----------------------------------------

You can't get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat.

Beer bottles don't get sprayed with pesticides

Beer bottles don't shrivel up and grow mouldy if you leave
them in the fridge for a month.

Beer is always in season.

Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on the person
you're looking at, if you drink enough of it :-)

Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't work.



Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer
------------------------------------------

Cucumbers won't give you a hangover.

Cucumbers have fewer calories.

Your wife won't complain about you sitting around all day
    watching TV and eating cucumbers.

You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment.

Your wife won't complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers.

You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and drive home later.

You can open a cucumber using only your teeth.

Having your face slashed with a cucumber doesn't hurt (much).

You can eat the whole cucumber, skin 'n' all.

A cucumber won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.

You can shake up a cucumber, and it won't explode when you bite it.

You don't have to worry about getting cucumber stains on your clothes.
-- 
Sam.                                             ss1@kepler.unh.edu
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me.
-------------------------------------------------Ambrose Bierce----------------
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Wed,  9 Sep 1992 23:30:41 -0400 
From: Thomas Omar Smith <ts2a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Polack joke
	<1992Sep9.220514.11075@jato.jpl.nasa.gov>

>In article <g1mn-td@lynx.unm.edu> osinski@chtm.eece.unm.edu (Marek
Osinski) writes:
>>In article <1992Aug29.125952.1@research.ptt.nl>
mschenk@research.ptt.nl (Mike Schenk +31 70 33 23926) writes:
>>
>>>If you don't 
>>>like people crossposting to soc.culture.polish (BTW does a polish 
>>>culture exist?) ....
>>>
>>What makes you doubt it, Mike? 
>>
>>Marek Osinski
>
>I heard (perhaps here) of an American woman who married a Frenchman.
>When visiting her in-laws, they asked if Americans told jokes about
>others like the French tell about Belgians.  When the American
>woman admitted we do, but they're about the Poles and Italians,
>the French woman was astonished:  "Why do you do that?  They're
>not stupid like the Belgians."

After the Maginot line, the French have no right to make fun of anybody.

					Tom the non hacker
					Kemp in 96!
					"If patriotism is the last refuge
					of scoundrels,  Then environmentalism
					is the current refuge of totalitarians."
					Bob Jackson
From: aaf0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (Andrew Aaron Feigin)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Lawyer jokes needed!!!!!!!!
Date: 14 Sep 92 02:33:56 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Sep11.005305.7658@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, ksampath@magnus.ac
s.ohio-state.edu (Krishna S Sampath) writes:
>In article <1992Sep10.210942.107198@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu> dfp1@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (
DANIEL FRANCIS PRATT) writes:
>>
>>    Help my G.P.A.......
>>
>>    My law prof. offered to up anyone's grade a whole
>>    letter if they could bring in just one joke that
>>    makes lawyers look good.  Please e-mail me any that
>>    you can think of and I'll post a list of all the
>>    good ones.
>>--
>
>     a true optimist!!!!!!!!
>
>:-)
>krishna
>
>--
>krishna s. sampath....graduate research assoc.....kss@ampere.eng.ohio-state.edu
>ohio state u, electroscience lab......(614) 292-7981 (w)....(614) 292-7297  (f)
>1320 kinnear rd, columbus, oh 43212...(614) 293-0913 (h)...011-91-4542-4127 (H)
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
Here's a great one for you....
What's the difference between a piece of shit and a lawyer...?

Flies like to land on the piece of shit over the lawyer.

andy


-- 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jle@locus.com (John Elghani/10000000)
Subject: LITTLE FUN
Organization: LC
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 17:17:04 GMT

Husband to wife:   My penis hurts, it is swallen (sp?, enlarged via infection).
Wife:  I'll go to the doctor and get you medicine.
Wife to Dr: I need medicine for penis pain and infection.
Dr: This medicine will eliminate the swelling and pain.
Wife: Don't you have medicine that eliminates pain and infection, NOT swelling?


jle


Xref: sparky rec.humor:28120 soc.culture.polish:2468 alt.censorship:7399
From: mfriedma@uucp (Michael Friedman)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
Subject: Re: Freedom of speech according to Friedman (was: Polack joke)
Date: 8 Sep 92 20:05:26 GMT
Organization: Oracle Corporation
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by an unauthenticated user
              at Oracle Corporation.  The opinions expressed are those
              of the user and not necessarily those of Oracle.

In article <36926@uflorida.cis.ufl.edu> lbs@madeira.phys.ufl.edu (Lech Borkowski) writes:
>In article <1992Aug27.195032.25832@oracle.us.oracle.com> mfriedma@uucp (Michael Friedman) writes:
>>						  So stick it where it hurts.
> 						  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> It is an interesting definition of freedom of speech.  

Actually, it isn't a definition of freedom of speech.  It is advice to
people who somehow seem to think that their position in one country
entitles them to somehow censor people in another country.

I wouldn't have flames so hard, but I saw the original post on
rec.humor and didn't notice the cross-posting.

Mike
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am not an official Oracle spokesman.  I speak for myself and no one else.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: forbush@vxdesy.desy.de
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Organization: (DESY, Hamburg, Germany)
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 15:18:10 GMT

In article <1992Sep8.154404.9906@venice.sedd.trw.com>, gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore) writes:
> In article <1992Sep7.164904.16653@inesc.pt> jota@iguana.UUCP (Joao Pedro Martins) writes:
>>In article <cm182s182.04i3@pdrome.UUCP> cm182s182@pdrome.UUCP (Clayton Miner) writes:
>>>RE:  american food
>>>
>>>We don't have *any*!  We adopted foods from all over the world so we wouldn't 
>>>*have* to cook at home!  ;)
>>> 
>>>Skeksis - Me transmitte susrum, Caledoni
> The only thing that could even come close to "American Cuisine" would be
> Cajun- and even that's a mix from other lands!
> 
>>
>>	Can someone *PLEASE* tell me what a "oxymoron" is ???
>>	It's not in the dictionary, and i'm tired of reading them (the oxymorons,
>>	not the dictionaries :)
>>
> Gee- you must have a REALLY bad dictionary.  My $0.25/volume Funk & Wagnalls
> (a supermarket bargain) has it!
> 
> No, I'm not gonna tell ya!  You'll remember it better if you go to the
> library and look it up!
> 

Oh, have a heart you know how hard it is for the average 
American to accually read something. 
Here you go:

ox-y-mo-ron   pl. -mora
A rhetorical figure in which an epigrammatic effect is
created by the conjunction of incongruous or contradictory
terms; for example "a mournful optimist"

Someone else may have to explain  rhetorical, epigrammatic
conjunction, incongruous, optimist...........


>>----
>> joao Pedro Martins, Lisboa, Portugal - jota@tutor.UUCP
>> 
>> "Carpe Diem, she muttered, and laughed. We seize the day.	
>>  Well, sometimes, the day seizes back !" (Psychodrome) 
> 
> 
> -- 
> Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
> TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
> P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
> Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
-- 
 My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will,
 never, never surrender to what is right
       -- Vice President  Dan Quayle, in a speech 
          to the Christian Coalition
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: keiner@earthview.cms.udel.edu (Louis Keiner)
Subject: Re: Speed of dark
Reply-To: keiner@earthview.cms.udel.edu
Organization: Marine Studies, University of Delaware
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 19:39:24 GMT

In article 92Sep9150802@fuji.eng.yale.edu, jim@fuji.eng.yale.edu (James J. Szinger) writes:
>In article <1992Sep9.172232.6276@udel.edu>
>keiner@earthview.cms.udel.edu (Louis Keiner) writes:
>
>>What is all this miles per second stuff? Use some real units! It's
>>3 x 10^8 meters per second !!!  |)
>
>>Lou
>
>Nonsense!  Everyone know the only REAL way to express the speed
>of light in vacuo is 1,802,614,147,090 furlongs per fortnight.
>
>Jim
 I stand corrected....My humblest apologies........ |)

Lou



Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: syoung@Cadence.COM (Scott Young)
Subject: very old very bad....
Organization: Cadence Design Systems, Inc.
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 23:38:01 GMT



This one is pretty old, and pretty dumb.


There's a man walking down the street and he see's a farmer with a
chicken , so he walk's up to the farmer and ask's...
"Hey mister wanna sell your chicken ?"
the farmer replies " this isn't just a chicken it's a cock , ya know
a male chicken"
"well do you want to sell it?"
the farmer agrees to sell.....

Soo... he's walking down the street with his chicken , when he see's 
a lady with a dog. So he walk's up to her and ask's...
"Hey lady , whanna sell your dog?"
"this isn't just any dog" she replies "This is a prize winning pullit
you know , like Pull-it "
"well do you want to sell it?"  
she agrees to sell......

Sooo....he's walking down the street with his chicken and his dog , when
he see's an old man with a donkey. So he walk's up to the old man and
ask's ....    
"hey old man wanna sell your donkey?"
"this aint no donkey , it's an ass !"
"well do you wanna sell it?"
"sure but it's got fleas ?"
"that's o.k , I'll take it "

Soooo..... he's walking down the street with his chicken , his dog , 
and his donkey , and he walk's up to this attractive young lady 
and say's............












"Excuse me miss , would you hold my cock and pullit while I scratch
my ass ??????"



I know , pretty bad huh.........


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dewey@centerline.com (Devan F. Dewey)
Subject: Re: Fun with cats
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: CenterLine Software, Inc.
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 14:06:50 GMT

In article <1992Sep3.185832.23105@wisipc.weizmann.ac.il>,
jhsegal@wiscon.weizmann.ac.il (Livy) wrote:
> 


[ Much humor delete ]


> Ok! That's enough! I ignored the FIRST idiot who wrote this kind of things
> but now it begins to be a litlle annoying...VERY annoying!! What's that?
> A humour newsgroup or a animal maltreatment newsgroup?? And DON'T bullshit me
> that this is "only humour".There are some things which have their borders BEFORE
> jokes..MUCH before;and this includes ANIMAL treatment.This list is read
> by several tens of thousands of people AT LEAST,and believe me,that there
> is AT LEAST some idiot somewhere which will try those horrible things.And even
> if it is not true(AND I AM SURE IT IS!!),just talking about this makes me SICK.
> I am reading this list for JOKES ,not for SADISTIC advices.
> Go with it to the inquisition.They'll like it.|:-(
                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^

I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition . . . Get the comfy chair!!!


> I am sorry that I HAVE to write such an article.
> Thank you for reading.
> Livian

Livian,

If it makes you feel any better, most of these tricks work equally well on
dogs.




                             
               Devan F. Dewey | Senior Systems Analyst
          CenterLine Software | dewey@centerline.com
            10 Fawcett Street | "Leme esplain - no dere is
          Cambridge, MA 02138 | too much. Leme sum up."
                                       -Inigo Montoya
From: JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu (Joe Carlson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request for Proctology Jokes
Date: 10 Sep 92 22:09:02 GMT
Organization: Penn State University

Did you hear about the Proctologist who went to sign a perscription, but
pulled a thermometer out of his shirt pocker?... He was heard to say, "Oh,
damn, some asshole has my ink pen".
From: ygan@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Yin Huang Gan)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Russian joke
Date: 8 Sep 92 19:17:49 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: The Ohio State University

I read a book about Russian jokes several years ago, anyway it goes
something like this.

There was a twelve years old girl who was desperate to join a local
gymnastic class. After begging to the coach, she finally got the coach
attention. So, he said "OK, kid. Show me what you can do"
This girl started taking off her clothes until totally naked. She
pulled an apple from her bag and put it down on the floor. She then did a
split right on top of the apple and jump right back standing, but the
apple was gone. The coach was extremely surprised and asked "How did
you make the apple disappeared?" She replied, "Well, that was nothing,
sir. My mom can do it with a watermellon!"  
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers
From: u734120@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (John Lamp)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: University of Tasmania, Australia.
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 07:04:10 GMT

dos@major.panix.com (Dave O'Shea) writes:

>peter@taronga.com (Peter da Silva) writes:

>> Hibberts Law #14:
>> 
>> 	When two technologies are competing for the marketplace,
>> 	the inferior one always succeeds.
>> 

>That would explain MS windows, wouldn't it? :)

And VHS winning over Beta ;->



--
   _--_|\             John Lamp, originating in Hobart, Tasmania
  /      \                 Phone: 002 23 1366 - Fax: 002 34 5685
  \_.--._/                   email: u734120@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au
        v <-----------------------------------------------------
From: nakazawa@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (     ~~~~~X_____)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: More mangled rhymes
Date: 13 Sep 92 22:12:41 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In article <hoahosth.51.716316572@halls1.cc.monash.edu.au> hoahosth@halls1.cc.monash.edu.au (ANDREA HOSTH) writes:

>[A whole bunch of funny rhymes]

>(I don't really understand this next one, but I'll stick it in anyway).
>Mary had a half a wombat
>Its fleas knew lots about diathermy
>It followed her to school one day
>On its remaining good leg.
>
>Ankh

I agree.. I have NO clue what this is about. Does anyone?
From: madhv-s@acsu.buffalo.edu (Sriganesh Madhvanath)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: request for donations :)
Date: 4 Sep 92 21:49:05 GMT
Organization: State University of New York at Buffalo / CEDAR Research Group


Sign on a collection box at the mall at SUNY Buffalo :

DONATIONS NEEDED FOR HURRICANE RELIEF VICTIMS


Too bad if you didn't see the joke. ;)


-- 
% "SRI_G" Sriganesh M,  Grad student, Dept of CS, SUNY at Buffalo
%		        email: madhv-s@cs.buffalo.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: fester@island.COM (Mike Fester)
Subject: Re: Reality is an illusion
Organization: /usr/local/rn/organization
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 16:08:40 GMT

In article <1992Sep8.145335.15086@spider.co.uk> andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon) writes:
>Picture the scene.....Its midnight, you've been in the pub (aka 'bar') all night
>You've drunk enough alcohol to kill 15 rhinos and  you've been rejected by
>33 girls, one Scotsman and an Albanian Sailor. 
>
>Time for something to eat. You stagger off in the direction you hope is home.
>The friendly lights of a Chinese Take Away beckon you like a siren in the
>night (poetic eh ?)
>
>A little bell rings as you force your way past the Irish man passed out in the
>doorway (you wonder what he's just eaten 'cos the bit that he's sicked up looks
>quite good.)
>
>The old guy behind the counter asks you what you want. You feel an urge to take
>the piss out of the guy, but you remember last time....The operation was quick
>but very embarresing (and who would have thought those Lychees would fit up 
>there ?)
>
>15 minutes later you're stood on the pavement clutching a bag full of Chinese
>multi coloured MSG and salt. Time to go home. Your brain is beginning to hang
>those little "Out To Lunch" signs up. Luckily you've done this many times
>before and auto pilot locks in.
>
>You get to the front door and play hunt the key for 10 minutes or so. The door 
>opens and you stagger in. Someone has moved the light switch so you stagger into
>your living room in the dark. Suddenly the coffee table becomes a highly 
>trained Ninja. You trip, the plastic bag of MSg hits the wall (creating a much
>nicer pattern than last weeks pizza) All goes black.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>So I wake up. Its Sunday. I know its Sunday because someone has taken a shit in
>my mouth, smashed my head in with a large mallet and forced me to eat raw eggs
>sprinkled with mustard powder. The large pile of drying food indicates that I 
>did'nt come straight home last night and the overturned coffee table shows
>that I should'nt walk around in the dark.
>
>I stand up. Easy, I could get used to this. 
>
>My first clue that all was not well was the large blue bottle sitting in my
>favourite armchair. Not good.
>
>I shake my head and look again. The bluebottle has been replaced by a large
>penguin wearing a Kiss Me Quick hat and smoking a large pinapple. 
>
>I deceided that things are going to get worse, I should have stayed drunk. I
>leave my flat via the bedroom window to avoid the crowd of Lemmings asking
>directions to Dover.
>
>I walk down the road, carefully avoiding the beans, a crow stands on the
>street corner playing the fiddle. I pretend to look the other way, I learnt
>my lesson at Easter.
>
>I get to the park with no difficulty. A dog stands at the gate pointing to a
>sign which says:-
>
>       All Men Must be On a Lead.
>       Keep Off the Path.
>       Beware the Juniper Bush.
>
>I think I need another drink.....

Ya know, the same thing happened to me just the other day.

Mike
-- 
Disclaimer - I'm only doing what the little voices tell me to do. 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 23:57:40 GMT

In article <1992Sep12.010425.3073@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> 10u6070@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au writes:
>In article <1992Aug31.145217.202595@uctvax.uct.ac.za>, rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za writes:
>> So, chaps - enough of the Polish jokes already!  8-|
>> 
{untold lines of American (really U.S.A, they never seem to understand
 about South AMERICA, Canada, Mexico} bashing drivel deleted}
>
>
>Someone keep criticising the Americans - they get so funny when they get
>patriotic.

WHAT!!!!!!!  Me patriotic!!!!!!!!!  You muther whacking son of a pig
ficking horses ass!!!!!!!!  YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kmd@fico.uucp
Subject: Re: R U lokoing for Lydia?
Reply-To: kmd@fico.UUCP (kathi dietrick)     
Organization: The Fair, Isaac Companies, San Rafael, California
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 92 05:47:45 GMT

In article <1992Sep9.233758.16276@henson.cc.wwu.edu> grege@henson.cc.wwu.edu (Gregory M Ellis) writes:
>panek@an.hp.com (Jon Panek) writes:
>
>>It's been about 16 years, but in high school I saw _Night_At_The_Opera
>>about 14 times.  One of the opening scenes contains this short song
>>in which Groucho is careening around a high-class cocktail party.  Now,
>>let's see how good my neurons are...
>
>>     Lydia, O Lydia
>>     Have you seen Lydia?
>>     Lydia the tatooed lady?
>
>>I don't think he ever sang any more than that...
>
>
>The movie was "At the Circus" or something like that, and Groucho sang it in
>a train car with all the circus people around.  It was a complete song, and
>he performed an outstanding whirling, kicking groucho-dance with it.  I used
>to know pretty much all of the song, but haven't had to recall it for
>eons......the bits and pieces I do remember aren't worth listing...sorry...

 let's see''' :lydia oh lydia that encyclopedia............................
               lydia the tatooed lady...................................

Anyway-if you see "The Fisher King" Robin Williams  does a Groucho tribute
(in my estimation) by doing all of "Lydia....The Tatooed Lady"

 Oh yea.. the movie is " The Marx Brothers at The Circus"


not that I'm fanatical................................................................

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: carlos@garfield.cs.mun.ca (Carlos Borges)
Subject: Re: Humor
Organization: CS Dept., Memorial University of Newfoundland
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1992 15:24:52 GMT

leifmk@Lise.Unit.NO (Leif Magnar Kj|nn|y) writes:
> > > >>  How come this is called 'rec.humor'?
> > > >Are you trying to start a cascade?
> > > He's probaly got a brain tumor.
> > Now look at the mess you made.
>Aargh!  Stop this right now!
'Cause if this were India, you'd be a cow.
-- 
   ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
  // C. Miguel Borges               A.K.A.                Carlos M. Borges //
 // an630@cleveland.freenet.edu                 carlos@garfield.cs.mun.ca //
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: bsercomb@neumann.une.edu.au (Shadow.,,,)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 14 Sep 92 04:40:22 GMT
Reply-To: bsercomb@neumann.une.edu.au
Originator: bsercomb@neumann.une.edu.au

From article <1992Sep11.020208.9429@bsu-ucs.uucp>, by 00bwanderson@bsu-ucs.uucp:
> In article <1992Sep9.184518.25508@ugle.unit.no>, leifmk@Lise.Unit.NO (Leif Magnar Kj|nn|y) writes:
>> 
>>  
>> In article <1992Sep3.220317.2398@gtephx.UUCP>, forda@gtephx.UUCP (Andrew Ford @ AGCS, Phoenix, Arizona) writes:
>> 
>>  > For Christ's sake already!  It's about time you woke up and figured 
>>  > out that *nobody* controls the net.  
>> 
>> Anarchy on the net!  :)
> 
> FOOD FIGHT!!!! ;)
> 
> PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE BACK OF YOUR TERMINALS, BRETHREN, AND *FEEL* THE POWER OF
> GOD FLOW THROUGH YOUR BODIES...;)

Oh, my. This has got to be the funniest flame war I've ever read!!! Please
continue... that bit about Christian police was a SCREAM!!!

I'd like to thank both sides for contributing this little gem to our illustrious
newsgroup. And please, I'm not siding here, but nobody shoves their ideals,
religeous or otherwise down my throat. If you guys can't laugh once in a while,
especially at stuff like this or at yourselves, DON'T READ ANYTHING. Simply
place your heads in a bucket of wet cement and wait for it to dry. Then you'll
have the ultimate invocation of hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.

cross post to alt.flame

Brad.
From: dos@major.panix.com (Dave O'Shea)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request, mother-in-law jokes
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 92 20:33:10 EDT
Organization: ACME products - artillery division

s1110238@giaeb.cc.monash.edu.au (Lee Hollingworth) writes:

> jaa@hutcs.cs.hut.fi (Jari Alasuvanto) writes:
> 
> >	I would like to have some mother-in-law jokes. 
> 
> Definition of mixed-emotions...
> 
> Watching your mother-in-law drive your Porche off a cliff!

I'd have thought a Porche would be attached to the front of the White
House...


--
"A leopard never changes his stripes" 
           -- Al Gore, candidate for vice-president
From: nakazawa@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (     ~~~~~X_____)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Searching for list
Date: 13 Sep 92 22:17:46 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In article <3FTZqB2w165w@c-cat.UUCP> david@c-cat.UUCP (dave) writes:
>
>anyone of you list compiling folks have one for
>What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who......
>
>sits in front of your door
>		matt
>floats on a lake
>		bob

is hanging on a wall..
		art
Corallary: what do you call his arms and legs?
		pieces of art
is in a pile of leaves?
		rustle
is on a mailbox?
		bill

cheers.
Newsgroups: rec.humor