HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rcmcc@vela.bellcore.com (Ron McConnell)
Subject: ascii bat
Reply-To: rcmcc@vela.UUCP (Ron McConnell)
Organization: Bellcore, Morristown NJ
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 21:20:27 GMT


>Article 1380 of alt.vampyres:
>Newsgroups: alt.vampyres
>From: nudnik@camelot.bradley.edu (Steven Parks)
>Organization: Bradley University
>Date: 17 Nov 92 06:35:45 GMT

>Steven Parks  (309) 677 1271
>SnailMail: 1312 W. Main #104 Peoria, IL USA 61606 
>E-Mail:  nudnik@camelot.bradley.edu    or    nudnik@buhub.bradley.edu

                  -.                       .-
              _..-'(                       )`-.._ 
           ./'. '||\\.       (\_/)       .//||` .`\.
        ./'.|'.'||||\\|..    ). .(     ..|//||||`.`|.`\.
     ./'..|'.|| |||||\`````` '`"'` ''''''/||||| ||.`|..`\.
   ./'.||'.|||| ||||||||||||.     .|||||||||||| ||||.`||.`\.
  /'|||'.|||||| ||||||||||||{     }|||||||||||| ||||||.`|||`\
 '.|||'.||||||| ||||||||||||{     }|||||||||||| |||||||.`|||.`
'.||| ||||||||| |/'   ``\||``     ''||/''   `\| ||||||||| |||.`
|/' \./'     `\./         \!|\   /|!/         \./'     `\./ `\|
V    V         V          }' `\ /' `{          V         V    V
`    `         `               V               '         '    '



Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: murali@emily.polymer.uakron.edu (Murali Cotah)
Subject: Re: some Soviet emigre restaurant jokes
Organization: Institute of Polymer Science, University of Akron
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 02:25:21 GMT

>In article <gDyoVB1w165w@bwalk.dm.com> dlv@bwalk.dm.com (Dimitri Vulis) writes:
>
Kto nibud' znaet, gde vzroslo eto blednoe chudo? Na prostorah Oklahomschiny ili
na pomoikah NYC? Ili on vse zhe sam sebja sechet?

Yury M.
>
i guess 2 am sounds fine - NO i 'll not remove my pants.
cotah[trying to understand inklish]
From: 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Test
Date: 17 Dec 92 15:27:19 GMT
Organization: Ball State University, Muncie, In - Univ. Computing Svc's

In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Richman) writes:
> In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@euler.Berkeley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Twyman) writes:
>>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides) writes:
>>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron Huang) writes:
>>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (Vilas Khare) writes:
>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
> This is starting to make me snore.
is this the rec.humor people adore?
From: gvg@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Greg Goebel)
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 22:06:06 GMT
Subject: Customer Support
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Loveland, CO
Newsgroups: rec.humor

This just happened to us ... I have to post this so this goes into the 
customer support Hall of Fame:

   My partner big Chris just told me he was going round and round with a 
   customer over the phone and not getting anywhere; such conversations 
   tend to get increasingly antagonistic and lead to mutual frustrations.

   So finally the customer gets angry and says:  "Okay!  Just a minute!"  
   Click click click click click .... .... .... "SEE?!  SEE?!  IT DOESN'T 
   WORK!"


   Wile E. Coyote at the Acme Online Support Organization For The SouthWest

                     "ACME -- The Name You Can Trust!"
--
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 |                               DISCLAIMER                                   |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 |   Who cares what I think?  I don't take MYSELF seriously, why should you?  |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 | Greg Goebel                             NET:     gvg@hpislsup              |
 | Hewlett-Packard                         HP DESK: GREG GOEBEL               |
 | VXD Marketing                           PHONE:   Telnet/303 679-3424       |
 | POB 301 / MS-CU326 / Loveland CO 80539  FAX:     Telnet/303 679-5957       |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hm@cs.brown.edu (Harry Mamaysky)
Subject: Re: Jesus Jewish? (Re: [priest & nun])
Organization: Somewhere East or Somewhere West
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 16:04:20 GMT

In article <1160050@mothra.rose.hp.com>, philn@mothra.rose.hp.com (Phil Nielsen) writes:
|> 
|> >   The asshole here, H. Austin, is you. Since when is it OK to call
|> >   people assholes merely for talking about interesting things? Why don't
|> >   you be more careful about posting your ignorance all across the
|> >   country - perhaps you would be better off restricting it to only local
|> >   news groups.
|> 
|> Rest of drivel deleted.
|> 
|> Gee, thanks for posting something so incredibly funny to rec.humor.
|> I nearly fell off my chair laughing.
|> 
|> Phil

You're welcome.

Harry.

From: philn@mothra.rose.hp.com (Phil Nielsen)
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 01:10:00 GMT
Subject: Re: Jesus Jewish? (Re: [priest & nun])
Organization: HP Networked Computer Mfg. Operation
Newsgroups: rec.humor


>   The asshole here, H. Austin, is you. Since when is it OK to call
>   people assholes merely for talking about interesting things? Why don't
>   you be more careful about posting your ignorance all across the
>   country - perhaps you would be better off restricting it to only local
>   news groups.

Rest of drivel deleted.

Gee, thanks for posting something so incredibly funny to rec.humor.
I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

Phil

OBJ:  Friends don't let friends drive Fords.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Dave Edmund <kwirk@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Re: Ways to Say Someone's Crazy
X-To: SXRBS@ORCA.ALASKA.EDU
Organization: The Zoo of Ids
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 03:54:00 GMT

SX>Newsgroups: rec.humor
SX>From: Ops@raven.alaska.edu (sxrbs@orca.alaska.edu)
SX>Subject: Re: Ways to Say Someone's Crazy
SX>Organization: UACN

SX>>Here's a couple i've picked up over the years:

SX>>Your bread ain't baked.

SX>>Her elevator doesn't cover every floor.

SX>>He's playing with a full deck but the cards aren't in order.

SX>Here's one from George Carlin,

SX>"He's Just a few sandwiches shy of a picnic."

Not firing on all cylinders

One wheel in the sand

Few bricks shy of a full load

---
 * SLMR 2.1a * I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr.ca (David Smith)
Subject: Re: Test
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 14:34:00 GMT

In article <1992Dec18.020436.2148@news.arc.nasa.gov> nicholso@pioneer.arc.nasa.gov (Melvin H. Nicholson YBH) writes:
>In article <BzF6E3.Lp7@cck.coventry.ac.uk> cei352@cck.coventry.ac.uk (The Freak) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec17.102719.13134@bsu-ucs> 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu writes:
>>>In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Richman) writes:
>>>> In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@euler.Berkeley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Twyman) writes:
>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides) writes:
>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron Huang) writes:
>>>>>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (Vilas Khare) writes:
>>>>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
>>>>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
>>>>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
>>>>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
>>>>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
>>>> This is starting to make me snore.
>>>is this the rec.humor people adore?
>>Or is it porn,which is hard core.?
>Haven't when been through all this before?
No, have some BEER and let me pour!
From: ahummel@ems.cdc.com (H. Austin Hummel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Where do jokes get started?
Date: 15 Dec 92 20:20:51 GMT
Reply-To: you@ems.cdc.com
Organization: Empros Systems International, a division of CDC

In article <3aDsVB2w165w@netlink.cts.com>, tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry) writes:
|> dsohl@spock.uucp (Daniel Sohl) writes:
|> 
|> > >There are so many jokes out there that I have heard from a variety of
|> > >different people in different parts of the country.  The question is,
|> > >who makes up these old jokes?  Does the stork bring them?  Are they
|> > >all a matter of the collective conscience?  Is there a joke God?  What
|> > >up?
|> > 
|> 
|> There is actually a computer program that has 10,000 Milton Berle Jokes.

Yes but they are all stolen!! ;-)
From: jmunch@hertz.elee.calpoly.edu (John Munch)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: You should bury survivors!!!
Date: 19 Dec 92 23:27:10 GMT
Organization: California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo

>>>>>A Canadian plane traveling to the U.S crashes at the border. In which
>>>>>country should the survivors be buried?
>>>>
>>>>Strictly, wherever their relatives/funeral directors decide.
>>>>Though that could be a long time after the crash.
>>>
>>>DS.Can you believe this guy? Hey, the question asked for the funeral sites of
>>>  .the SURVIVORS? How often do you bury living people? Sheesh, some people...
>>>Well, you can try but for some odd reason living people tend to 
>>>object.   Although it is easier to bury dead people, burying live 
>>>people does present a challenge...  Hmmm....I guess we aren't supposed 
>>>to be burying live people???? <sudden look of shock>
>>
>>Read my answer
>>>>Strictly, wherever...
>>  ^^^^^^^^
>>  Now am I wrong?  I knew what I was putting, and it is correct!
>>STRICTLY should be at least a small clue as to what I was getting at.
>>It is a poke at people who take the quick short answer because it seems
>>that it will be appealing to others.  I could say "You don't bury survivors"
>>and laugh heh heh with my friends, but you DO bury them, and I can't
>>beleive you didn't understand that after you read my answer, even if
>>it didn;t srping to you as a "logical first answer"
>>
>>  Do you not understand?
>>
>Spot the person who is just making excuses for a previous mistake.  Still, 
>that's what you get for going to Warwick University.
>
>Stephen Buxton of Coventry University.

  TOP TEN REASONS stephen buxton DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT YOU BURY SURVIVORS!

10. He thinks that if you survive a plane crash, then you're immortal.

 9. He doesn't understand what the word immortal means.

 8. His parents are siblings.

 7. He goes to Coventry University.

 6. He needs to get permission from his mom to think.

 5. His sum logical processes consists of repeating other people.

 4. He knows that survivors eventually die, but he wants the corpses.

 3. He doesn't understand the humor, but DAMN IT, he knows the punch line.

 2. He's really a NASA artificial intelligence project.

 And the number 1 reason stepen buxton doesn't understand that you bury
 survivors:





 1. His neural network is on strike for better working conditions.



-John David Munch
From: mas@icf.hrb.com (Mark A. Singer)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Farmer and the golf ball
Date: 18 Dec 92 12:20:24 EST
Organization: HRB Systems, Inc.

    3 guys driving down the road and there car breakes down so they went 
to a farmers house and asked if they could stay for the night. The farmer 
said ok but someone has to sleep with the chickens someone has to sleep 
with the cows and someone has to sleep with my 18 daughters. So one slept
with the chickens one with the cows and one with his 18 daughters. 
     The next day one said that he felt like he was a chicken the other 
said that he felt like a cow and the third said he felt like golf ball.
The farmer asked why he felt like a golf ball and he said that if you where
in and out of 18 holes in one one night you would feel like one to......
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: al@escom.com (Al Donaldson)
Subject: oh, no, not the good stuff..
Organization: ESCOM Corporation
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 16:54:41 GMT

Did you hear about the break-in at Bob Dylan's a few years ago?
While he was gone they broke down a door, smashed some stereo 
and TV gear, and stole some records.  

But they didn't take any of Dylan's own famous recordings, instead, 
the police spokesperson said, "The vandals took the Handel."

Al
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jena@longs.LANCE.ColoState.Edu (jennifer archie)
Subject: REQUEST: Santa is wielding a gun
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 18:56:57 GMT
Organization: Colorado State U. Engineering College
Keywords: song, santa, gun


-- 

Does anyone have the Christmas Song parody of "Santa Claus is Coming
to Town" called "Santa Claus is Wielding a Gun"?  I think it is
totally hilarious and would like to send it to some friends.
Thanks in advance.


         JENNY < GE'NIE > 

         Disclaimer:
		     mes vues sont a moi...meme si elles n'etaient
		     pas a moi, je doute que personne ne les
		     veuille.

COLORADO STATE UNIV. : jena@longs.LANCE.ColoState.Edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ehill@rose.hp.com (Eric Hill)
Subject: TWELVE DAYS OF XMAS
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 22:06:28 GMT
Organization: HP - Systems Technology Division
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.8 PL6]


Could someone please post the Twelve 
Days of Xmas letters exchanged by
the couple in the song.

Thanks,

Eric


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: nicholso@pioneer.arc.nasa.gov (Melvin H. Nicholson YBH)
Subject: Re: Test
Organization: NASA Ames Res. Ctr. Mtn Vw CA 94035
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 02:04:36 GMT

In article <BzF6E3.Lp7@cck.coventry.ac.uk> cei352@cck.coventry.ac.uk (The Freak) writes:
>In article <1992Dec17.102719.13134@bsu-ucs> 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu writes:
>>In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Richman) writes:
>>> In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@euler.Berkeley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
>>>>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Twyman) writes:
>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides) writes:
>>>>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron Huang) writes:
>>>>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (Vilas Khare) writes:
>>>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
>>>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
>>>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
>>>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
>>>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
>>> This is starting to make me snore.
>>is this the rec.humor people adore?
>Or is it porn,which is hard core.?
Haven't when been through all this before?
>
From: v140pxgt@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: some Soviet emigre restaurant jokes
Date: 20 Dec 92 19:29:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Dec19.160213.4948@ucsu.Colorado.EDU>, beckmann@spot.Colorado.EDU (BECKMANN PETR) writes...
>In article <BzHwoJ.FF9@acsu.buffalo.edu> v140pxgt@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case) writes:
>   And you mistranslated the first part. A closer translation would be
>"Go find your own Israel, you dirty kike!"

Thanks. I can only work from what's in my Russian English dictionary, and that
lists "Get out of here!" for ubiraysya. I know very little colloquial Russian,
unfortunately, which is a shame because Russian has a rich slang vocabulary.

> 
>Petr Beckmann

							Dan Case
From: griska@teecs.UUCP (William Griska)
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 18:07:22 GMT
Subject: Re: COnfucius sayings....
Organization: Litton Systems, Toronto ONT
Newsgroups: rec.humor

I don't have a list, but here are a few:

	confucius say woman who fly in plane upsidedown have crack up.

	confucius say man who lay broad on side of hill not on level.

	confucius say man who lay broad on ground have piece on earth.

	confucius say baseball very funny game - how man walk on four balls.

	confucius say woman with blonde hair on head have black hair by cracky.

If I think of any more I will send them along. Bye.
From: Treble@asc.slb.com (John Treble)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bumper Stickers
Followup-To: rec.humor
Date: 17 Dec 1992 19:58:29 GMT
Organization: Austin Systems Center -Schlumberger
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: asc438.asc.slb.com

> 
> > Here's some bumper stickers I remember that were pretty good.
> > 
> > My son is on the dean's shit list at xxx University
> > Marriage is the main cause of divorce
> > Your father should have pulled out early
> > Nuclear war doesn't show who is right, only who is left
> > Remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty
> > Kinky is using a feather, Perverted is using the whole damn chicken!
> > There's nothing wrong with sex on TV, as long as you don't fall off


Saw on Rush Limbaugh's show:

	Welfare should be as hard to get as a building permit!


treble@asc.slb.com "My humble, but accurate, opinion does not necessarily
reflect that of my employer. I get full credit for my insightful and witty
comments!"
From: gb03@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (GEORGE PHILIP BLUHM)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: CHALLENGE
Date: 16 Dec 92 01:18:34 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Dec15.033644.116858@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, rcs4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (
ROBERT CHRISTOPHER STEELE) writes:
>I have heard many lawyer, barrister, arbitraitor, etc. jokes but have yet to
>find one that actually makes the lawyer look good. If you have a joke that
>does make a lawyer look please send me it or post it on the net.
>--
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>+   Robert Christopher Steele(Kip or Skip)   KKKKKKKKK  KKKKKKKKK           +
>+                                               KKK      KK                 +
>+                                               KKK    KK      SSSSSSSSSSS   +
>+                                               KKK KK         S            +
>+                                               KKK   KK       SSSSSSSSSS   +
>+   E-Mail: RCS4@ ns1.cc.Lehigh.edu             KKK      KK             s   +
>


From Poor Richard

Two blind beggars traveling down a road found a clam.  The argued heatedly
over whom the clam belonged.  The then agreed to let their learned friend the
lawyer decide the case.  After much debate the lawyer cleaved the clam in
twain.  To each he gave half a clam.  "But what of the middle?" decried the
two.  "Tis my fee" said he.

Phylee Thee MacNasty
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: 2261as@gmuvax2.gmu.edu (Ilphay)
Subject: Re: a puzzle
Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, Va.
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 18:04:09 GMT

In article <1g4jj6INN9mu@lily.csv.warwick.ac.uk> phudl@csv.warwick.ac.uk (Mr S J Liddicott) writes:
>>>How do you make up 35 cents with 2 coins? Piece of cake, right?
>>>
>>>But can you do it if one of the coins is not a quarter?
>>
>>Sure - one of the coins must not be a quarter for $.35 to be
>>made of only two coins. Cute, pal.
>

how about that other joke:

A man walks into a bank and asks the teller for change for his $15 bill.

So the teller gives him two $6's and a $3.

Xref: sparky rec.humor:36657 talk.bizarre:42149
From: andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Riddle?
Date: 9 Dec 92 13:16:10 GMT
Followup-To: misc.test
Organization: Spider Systems Limited, Edinburgh, UK.

Someone Wrote:-
>>> A Canadian plane traveling to the U.S crashes at the border. In which
>>> country should the survivors be buried?

Then someone followed up with :-
>>
>>   Here we go again. Hasn't this one done the round yet??
>>
>>For the record.
>>
>>You don't bury SURVIVORS.

Then Charlie said:-
>
>Until they die.
>
>Charlie

Unless they piss you off and you've had a bad day. Or is that just me ?
-- 
    |      Andy  Cannon      | From a Vision of Reality,        |
    | Misplaced Yorkshireman | Comes my Nemesis of Faith.       |
    |   Spider Systems Ltd   | But is Everything so Different ? |
    |  andrewc@spider.co.uk  | And Still the Moon......         |
Xref: sparky rec.humor:36415 alt.fan.rush-limbaugh:10121 soc.culture.usa:9200
From: daniel@mertwig.uucp (Daniel Drucker)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,soc.culture.usa
Subject: Re: Tongue oil, psorosis, and antidotal evidence
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 15:57:51 EST
Reply-To: daniel%mertwig@uunet.uu.net  (Daniel Drucker)
Organization: Abnormalities of Reality

> -> ==========================================================================
> -> William Crosmun
> -> crosmun@dg-rtp.dg.com
> -> 
> -> ==========================================================================
> -> "The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together a
> ->  act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it."

Government? In concert?


--
Daniel Drucker        N2SXX       Coconut seashells whispering to me
daniel%mertwig@uunet.uu.net         "Forever, forever, my Coda..."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: markn@ssd.comm.mot.com (Mark Nowak)
Subject: Request for 12 days of Xmas letter series
Organization: Motorola
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 07:55:52 GMT

Hi, Netters!

Can any of you please send me that letter running joke that
has the woman who receives all the gifts of the 12 Days of Christmas
song write a series of letters to the sender that get progressively 
more irate.  I'm sure I can send you something you might want in
return.  Thanks in advance.
-- 
Mark Nowak                          | By means of the easy and the simple we
SWM, 25, 5'11", seeking SF ...      | grasp the laws of the whole world.  When
Chicago, Illinois                   | the laws of the whole world are grasped,
INTERNET: markn@ssd.comm.mot.com    | therein lies perfection. - I Ching
From: bearce@hpcc01.corp.hp.com (Phil Bearce)
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 00:06:52 GMT
Subject: 12 Days of Christmas  REPOST
Organization: the HP Corporate notes server
From: petitc@vccsouth02.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Old Joke
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 03:15:36 GMT

What's swirled green and red?

Answer:

A frog in a blender.

-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
From: on6y@vax5.cit.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Joke/test
Date: 19 Dec 92 00:17:09 EST
Distribution: rec.humor
Organization: Cornell University

In article <1992Dec17.184220.3383@bmerh85.bnr.ca>,
coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr.ca (David Smith) writes: 
 
> So again, Jimmy goes to the tent, sees a camel and a step ladder.
> This time he thought, "Well, OK.  Camel's a camel.  It's better than nothing."
> So he pulled the step ladder behind the camel and started with his business.
> Half hour later, he comes out of the tent.
> 
> The Kuwaiti soldier, all suprised, says, "That was fast!!!"
> 
> Jimmy said, "What? Half hour not long enough?"
> 
> The Kuwaiti said, "Well, it usually takes an hour to the village where all the
> women are."


When I heard it, the joke continued:
                                 
Jimmy was then transferred to a base in Northern Norway.  Again, after months
and months, he decided he couldn't take it anymore and he approached one of the
Norweigians and asked him what they did about satisfying this particular need,
way up here in the North, with no towns within any attainable distance at all.

The Norweigian took him to the top of a hill and showed him a herd of elk.
Jimmy thought to himseld, "Do it with a camel?  No way!"  And so he again took
matters into his own hand..

Several months later Jimmy couldn't hold out anymore.  He sprinted over the 
hill, tearing his clothes off as he ranm then jumped on the closest elk and
proceeded to fulfill his need.  When, he was finished, he turned around to
see a group of Norweigians on top of the hill, snickering at him.  He went up
to them and said, "What, I was told you guys use the elks too!"

"yeah," they replied, "but you took the ugliest one!"



sba