From: jthomp@mainz-emh2.army.mil (JEFFREY THOMPSON)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.african.american
Subject: Gays RE: Carl Lewis Gay?
Date: 1 Oct 1992 03:18:07 -0500
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

DAA>} CM>> How does one gay person recognizes another? There are subtle signs.
DAA>} CM>> hope you know about the homosexuality of one of your friends. Have h
DAA>} CM>> explain the subtle signs. Go out with him, and let him show you the
DAA>} CM>> you meet. There are common properties.
DAA>}
DAA>} Would not, if he has good reasons. There must be something to recognise,
DAA>} because gays do recognise each other. So far, I was ONCE wrong in 27
DAA>} years. I'll bet, you can't say that of your presumed straight :-)
DAA>} To fight the accusation of stereotyping: There is no unequivocal sign of
DAA>} being gay. It's an overall impression.

JEFF> Hey ! Where do you guys live and what gays are you referring to? American?
JEFF> If so, then you are wrong about your overall assumption that "there are
JEFF> subtle signs". Gays in Europe, for example, generally need no introduction
JEFF> as such; they are open about their preferrence. They hang out with gays,
JEFF> talk about their experience with you (if the approach is discrete), and
JEFF> are very SERIOUS in their relationships.

JEFF> One reason for this is probably because, in Europe, gays are accepted
JEFF> in most segments of society and tolerated. So there is no reason to hide
JEFF> ones character. Of course there are those that will always complain
JEFF> and show a dislike for gays but this is expected.

My view of (homo/hetero/whateversexual) relations can't be skewed. Why
do I get asked frequently from my straight friends for advice in their
relationships? And why do they continue to ask after they solved the
problem with my help?

JEFF> Simple! You are an experienced person. It probably has little to do
JEFF> with the fact that you are gay but rather because you're easy to talk
JEFF> to and very discrete; these are attributes that any successful
JEFF> "counselor" will have. You see, showing interest in people works wonders.
JEFF> And especially in such cases, you're willing to share your experience/
JEFF> knowledge with the interested, less experienced party.

The average Gay does know much, much more about relationship, than the
average Straight. He has to, for surviving. Look at the related
professions: The rate of Gays is higher than average. (If I fail with my
thesis, I open a Institute for Marriage Advice :-) )

JEFF> It's and interesting assumption. I think one of you mentioned
JEFF> in an earlier text that something like 1 in 10 men are PROBABLY gay.
JEFF> If this is so then, then gays have fewer choices and can't
JEFF> possibly allow a relationship to land on the rocks. Therefore, they
JEFF> work hard at their relationships, thus tend to have more experience
JEFF> when it comes to knowing what works and may not work in a relation-
JEFF> ship. I don't suspect them to be more intelectually inclined than the
JEFF> average individual.

DAA>........even when a so-called "acceptable" Gay couple
DAA>hands, it's looked down upon.  

JEFF> There are places for everything I suppose. Even straight couples don't
JEFF> display so much intimacy public anymore. "What will the people think of 
JEFF> me or us". A little discretion and a lot of privacy makes most of us
JEFF> feel a lot more comfortable. But hey! People IN LOVE don't care what
JEFF> others think. Right? Right.

This annoys me sooo much. No Gay sitcoms, no Gay love stories, no Gay
soaps, no Gay ads... (Tip: Movie "Parting glances", "Maurice")
I do not ask everything to be gay, but the fair share of representation
in EVERYTHING according to the rate in the society.

JEFF> Well not many people or most people are gay. Or better yet there are
JEFF> not enough courageous gay people out there that feel they can pull
JEFF> something like this off; financially or emotionally.
JEFF> Hey! The same cry we Blacks used to make. The risks are great and success
JEFF> is a shot in the dark. It took time. Be patient.

A shot of optimism and human tolerance. Jeff.



Newsgroups: soc.culture.african.american