From: rwalton@tehmi.next.com (Robert Walton)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: A Humorous Curriculum at Whatsamatta U.
Date: 2 Oct 92 00:39:38 GMT

The following two announcements were made by the female and male staffs of  
Whatsamatta U. recently in an attempt to help males and females understand  
each other better...

"The female staff (a.k.a The Elite Council) at Whatsamatta U. will be  
offering courses to all men, regardless of marital status.  Please note  
that the names of some of the courses have been changed.  Attendance in at  
least 10 of the following courses is mandatory.

1.  Combatting Stupidity
2.  You Can Do Housework, Too
3.  P.M.S. - Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
4.  How To Fill An Ice Tray.
5.  We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas.  Give Us Money!
6.  Understanding That Female Responses To Your Coming In Drunk at
      4:00 a.m.
7.  Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly Called "Don't Wash My             
	Silks")
8.  Parenting - No, It Doesn't End With Conception
9.  Get A Life! - Learn To Cook
10.  How Not To Act Like An Asshole When You're Obviously Wrong.
11.  Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right.
12.  Understanding Your Financial Incompetence.
13.  You - The Weaker Sex.
14.  Reasons To Give Flowers.
15.  How To Stay Awake After Sex.
16.  Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But In The 	 
Washroom.
17.  Garbage - Getting It To The Curb.
18.  #101 - You Can Fall Asleep Without "IT," If You Really Try.
19.  #102 - The Morning Dilemma - If IT's Awake- Take A Shower.
20.  How To Put The Toilet Seat Down ( Formerly Called "No It's Not A
	Bidet ).
21.  The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous.
22.  Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Bullshit.
23.  How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost.
24.  The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency.
25.  Romanticism - Other Ideas Besides Sex.
26.  Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes.
27.  Mother's-In-Law, They are People Too.
28.  How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children.
29.  You Too Can Be A Designated Driver.
30.  Male Bonding - Leaving Your Friends At Home.
31.  Hones, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked
32.  Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works!
33.  Attainable Goal - Omitting ##**%%&&!! From Your Vocabulary.
34.  Fluffing The Blankets After Farting Is Not Necessary.

Men -- please register immediately as courses are in great demand, as if  
we had any doubt."

"The male staff (a.k.a The "We're really in charge here" Council) will be  
offering courses to all women, taught by properly trained women who will  
serve as role models.  Please note a few course name changes.  Attendance  
in at least 10 of the following courses is mandatory.

1.  Combatting stubbornness
2.  Learning Not to Interrupt Your Spouse
3.  Make Yourself Understood -- Avoid Speaking in Tongues
4.  How to Close the Top on the toothpaste
5.  We Do Not Want Clothes for Christmas.  Give Us [More] Money!
6.  Understanding That Male Response to Your Coming In at Any Time with  
Shopping Bags Overflowing with Stuff
7.  Wonderful Laundry Techniques II (Formerly Called " Wash My             
	Clothes, Damnit!")
8.  Parenting - Men Don't Do Diapers
9.  Get A Life! - You Learn To Cook, It's Your Job, Damnit!
10.  How Not To Embarrass Me in Public When You're Obviously Wrong.
11.  Spelling - Maybe You Can Get It Right.
12.  Understanding Your [Complete] Financial Incompetence.
13.  You - The Receptacle of My Love...
14.  Reasons To Give Head.
15.  How To Stay Awake During Sex.
16.  Why It Is Unacceptable To Discuss Feminine Hygiene Anywhere But In  
The Washroom -- By Yourself.
17.  Garbage - Stop producing it.
18.  #101 - Why Men Can't Fall Asleep Without "IT," Even If They Really,  
Really Try...Really.
19.  #102 - The Morning Dilemma - If IT's Awake - Get Busy!
20.  How To Put The Toilet Seat Down Yourself.
21.  The Weekend And Work Are NOT Synonymous.
22.  Give Me A Break - Stop Nagging.
23.  How Not To Go Shopping.
24.  The Remote Control - Give it Back, Damnit!
25.  Romanticism - Nothing but Orgasm Will Do.
26.  Helpful Posture Hints While Doing Housework.
27.  Mother's-In-Law -- Major Stress Inducers to be Avoided.
28.  How Not To Act Like Your Mother.
29.  You Too Can Be Quiet.
30.  Male Bonding I - (formerly titled, Honey, bring us the beer and  
pretzels...and give me back that remote control right now, damnit!
31.  Honey, You Don't Look Like Cindy Crawford, Especially When Naked
32.  Dress Like a Slut - It Really Works!
33. How to Use Your Credit Card Without Meltdown
34. Why Wine and Women Are to Be Appreciated for Variety (inspired by the  
John Denver classic, "I'd no more love only one kind of woman as drink  
only one kind of wine...")

Women -- please register immediately as courses are in great demand, as if  
we had any doubt.

8^)
Newsgroups: rec.humor