HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: annie@canetoad.UUCP (Annie)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: It's all relative
Distribution: world
Date: 30 Sep 92 20:10:27 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

grendel:...that is because my brain is small. It rolls around and
	touches the sides of my head.
annie:	No, your head is big. It rolls around and touches the sides
	of the room.

	The room is small. It rolls around and touches the sides of
	the city.

	The city is big. It rolls around and splashes in the river.

--
In my dreams, i can still see her there, in the light of the full moon,
my hands cupping her breasts in the protective shadow of the Tilt-a-Whirl.
--E. Andi Woods
...uunet!canetoad!annie                          canetoad!annie@uunet.uu.net

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: genghis@uiuc.edu (Tim Elliott)
Subject: Re: Gooley draws 'em in
Originator: tim@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu
Reply-To: genghis@uiuc.edu (Tim Elliott)
Organization: UIUC Computing Services Office
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 09:54:29 GMT

aaron@fenris (Aaron Humphrey) writes:
>Often I think of an inevitable followup to an article, but refrain from posting
>it.  This I learned through hard experience with looking foolish.

we can start a support group for our problem..

//tim
-- 
  | tim elliott  genghis@uiuc.edu                        /~~| /~~\|~~~~/
  | views do not necessarily represent uofi ccso          | || () Rocks!
  `-------------------------------------------------------|_|-\__/-/_/--------
From: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: short term goal
Date: 6 Oct 1992 00:11:12 GMT
Organization: Computing Something Division
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4

In article <1aq6gaINNe37@overload.lbl.gov> inspecti@ux7.lbl.gov writes:
>i want to be able to afford dry-cleaning

I've got 5 tickets worth of dry cleaning at the shop around the corner.
It's beent here since August.  I'm hoping to have saved up enough to start
bringing it home next week.

Maybe we could just get the UN to set up a retrieval squad or something.

-- 
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.   \  (414)CRUSH-13
T. Flynn's Casa de Interesting: 1755 N Cambridge Ave #306 Milwaukee WI 53202    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: lstewart@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca (L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058)
Subject: Re: new dicksize war
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 20:06:40 GMT

In article <1992Oct2.131531.22914@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>
>went and bought a new pair of shoes last night.
>
>size 13

How do you manage to get them in your mouth?
From: kontos@clipper.ingr.com (Thorne Kontos)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Ted Pella Catalog #8
Keywords: You have to love it!!
Date: 3 Oct 92 19:10:21 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Intergraph Advanced Processor Division - Palo Alto, CA

I just got in the new Ted Pella Catalog #8 in which they advertise:

                 NEW FRESH BRAIN TISSUE SLICER

                  THE ROTORSLICER MODEL 8700

* Slices (70-800um thickness) of freshly dissected, soft tissues, such as
  brain, can be obtained easily and efficiently.

* Thickness, Rotational speed, and cutting speed are selected on a control
  panel and the starting button activated. The Rotorslicer then provides
  excellent tissue slices automatically.

Ordering Information

10160 Rotorslicer, Model 8700, 110-120VAC......Price on Request


                                              The Cerebral Lobster
                                                   wants you!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: leduc@schaefer.math.wisc.edu (Robert Leduc)
Subject: Re: Rictus Hep's Quest for Knowledge
Organization: Univ. of Wisconsin Dept. of Mathematics
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 92 15:48:19 GMT


   "You mean, Life is NOT like a beanstalk????"

RL

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: Re: stopping the plague
Followup-To: alt.flame
Originator: jcarroll@ferris
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 30 Sep 92 15:56:59 CDT



>}>   ANY fucking around with people's right to vote, no matter how
>}>   innocent-seeming and playful, is hideous. Don't sell out your values
>}>   to win the battle but lose the war.
>
>}You are absolutely right.  
>}That is why I gave up my afternoon to register people to vote.
>}I made no jokes about their political party then, simply posted
>}this rather lame joke to t.b. 
>}Excuse me this HIDEOUS JOKE.  I understand, now, how truly wrong I
>}was.  
>
>"Each Jew who rgistered to vote got a blast ..."
>"Each Black who registered to vote got a blast..."
>"Each person wearing a Pro-Choice button got a blast... "
>"Each person wearing a SILENCE=DEATH button got a blast ..."
>
>(thanks to the Gooleymeister for the idea [see, Ra? ATTRIBUTION -- not
>                                          a difficult concept])
>
>
>You seem to be claiming that since you didn't "actually" do anything,
>your attitude shouldn't be criticized. That's like saying that since
>Roger "only" makes jokes, and doesn't "actually" beat up Arabs, we
>shouldn't feel we have any right to respond. 
>
>The erosion of civil liberties begins with jokes and passes to
>actions. 

Please take this to email. There is nothing bizarre or funny about
either bigotry or more-openminded-than-thou dick size wars.

Thank you.
From: english@alicudi.usc.edu (Joe English)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Let's write the lyrics to a new Ramones song (please continue)
Date: 28 Sep 1992 10:50:34 -0700
Organization: Nerds of Action
Distribution: talk
Reply-To: joe@trystero.art.com
NNTP-Posting-Host: alicudi.usc.edu


In article <OSA.92Sep25153143@wilbur.unh.edu>, osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:

|> So, won't someone continue?  How about a new They Might Be Giants
|> song, then?  

I tried this once.  It's much harder than one would expect.


--joe@tryster.art.com

  Writing a new Smiths song is quite easy, though...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry)
Subject: Practical Jokes to play on Saddam Hussein
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test,alt.newbies
Summary: Saddam is stooopid, George Bush is reeeeeely smart (NOT)
Organization: UCLA, Computer Science Department
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 92 16:19:20 GMT

- Fill his shoes with camel dung

- replace his favorite mug with an "I love George Bush" mug.

- convince him that "Wolf Blitzer" is actually an American mixed drink

- make a prank call to him, say that you're the U.N. and you forgive him
  for everything.

- sell him Cyalume's [tm] under the pretense that they are radioactive material.

- sell him all of our old IBM mainframes and convince him he's getting the
  forefront of American technology

- demoralize his country by showing them a stadium full of dumb hicks in 
  Atlanta doing the tomahawk chop as they cheer films showing U.S. planes
  bombing the hell out of his cities


                                             enjoy,
					     John
-- 
v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-
    "Reality is a sandwich that I did not order."
			       Zippy the Pinhead (for president)
^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-
From: inspecti@carnival.lbl.gov ()
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: cheap amusements
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Date: 28 Sep 1992 21:19:26 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory, Berkeley
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: carnival.lbl.gov


find the really good swivel chair
put it a within arm's reach of desk
push off with arm, tuck legs in 
see how many revolutions you can accomplish before physics take their toll

inspecti 47

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
Subject: Re: you may now drink champagne for me
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 21:39:11 GMT

Distribution: world

In article <1aa8jkINNpo8@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J  
Silverio) writes:
> ---
> vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail) writes:
> |cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
> ||  I passed my motorcycle safety class skill test.
> ||  I am now a certified SAFE motorcycle mama.
> |you of course realize that, like second hand smoking, your life still
> |depends on other people not being stupid.
> 
> Well, yes, but now I know the two main tenets of motorcycle
> survival:
> 
>     1. They can't see me.
>     2. They're out to get me.
> 
> ---
> c j silverio

You have learned well, grasshopper.
--
************************************************************************
 the Lost Cause                       jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
(hardwaire guy extraordinaire)       MACTech,NeXTtech; NeXTmail accepted
                      "Everything is relative."
************************************************************************
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mneeley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Neeley)
Subject: just curious
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 20:14:48 GMT

Anyone besides me get pimples on their nipples?

	Mark (it _really_ hurts when you pop those)


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: "Chopper" Loyola complains about a hymn
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 92 14:42:15 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

"I don't like `How Great Thou Art.'  Not only is it soppy, but the tune is
disturbingly like that of the `Horst Wessel Song.'"

Mark., and he wonders why all the lousier Protestant hymns get trotted out
gooley@netcom.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: short weekend excursion
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 16:01:08 GMT

In article <gerald.718468866@gerald> gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com writes:
>There's a long weekend coming up, and a few friends and I are planning
>to drive down to NYC.  I need recommendations for places to go and things
>to do...including restaurants, accommodation, and landmarks.  I thought
>it would be a good idea to add a bizarre slant (don't, Roger) to the trip.
>Any ideas? 50 quatloos to the best suggestion.
>

New York is a frighteningly dull town. I mean, nothing happens, the bars
all close at 9:15 pm, and they roll up the sidewalks. If youre looking
for fun I would go all the way to Luray, Virginia where they once had
live bluegrass on a sunday afternoon.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: PJF4081@CC.UTAH.EDU (big daddy hate box)
Subject: it's too early
Followup-To: alt.activism,alt.job.gooley,misc.jobs.offered,rec.pets
Summary: loser i am not
Keywords: morning
Reply-To: big daddy hate box
Organization: xenophobes of utah
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 13:53:16 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.24

so...i get up at six in the damned morning, way too early for any sane grad 
student. there is a conference today up at one of the ski resorts to start off 
the new year and get the program rolling for the first year students. swell. i 
had to get up so early because i needed to develop some film of an experiment i 
did yesterday. so far so good except that the film looks like crap. the 
background is so high i don't know if i will be able to get anything useful out 
of this experiment. damn, i love science. hope you all get a better start than 
i did. (disgusting play for pity) ciao etc.

	PJF--->Biochem. grad student.
					React with this!
From: joshua@coombs.anu.edu.au (Joshua Geller)
Subject: Re: PCP laced joints
Organization: Computer Services Centre, Australian National University
Date: 26 Sep 92 11:22:53 GMT

dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil (Kent Paul Dolan) writes:

>Tell me, is it _really_ that hard to think after doing
>drugs? So far the only coherent argument I've seen in email
>has been from a civil libertarian who denies any personal
>drug experience, just hates the recent legal overreaction
>that has damaged the fourth amendment freedoms, a position
>with which I agree but to which I espouse seek a less
>damaging cure than drug legalization, such as voting out
>the jerks that passed the property seizure laws.

you didn't think my email was coherent kent? for shame. the problem with 
drugs, in my opinion, isn't so much the fact that they are illegal (though
legalization i the ultimate solution, I think), but the fact that they
are so expensive. if your solution was adopted, lawsuits and the high cost
of insurance for the manufacturers would only continue the black market
situation we have now (ore recreate it). no, I'm afraid that the choice in
the united states (in realistic terms) is legalization or fascism. which
course do you, realistically, think is going to be taken? do you approve?

I have resisted posting too much to this thread, and I will now resume
doing so.

josh
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: PJF4081@CC.UTAH.EDU (big daddy hate box)
Subject: Re: The Printer
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,rec.pets,misc.jobs.offered
Keywords: die
Reply-To: big daddy hate box
Organization: HATE INC.
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 92 19:21:50 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.24

In <1992Sep30.153225.4764@walter.cray.com> jcarroll@ferris.cray.com writes:

% 
% 
% >Back in July, someone here at the University of Michigan's Computer Aided
% >Engineering Network decided to name a bunch of Suns in a new lab after
% >missiles.  (scud, sagger, patriot, minuteman, etc.)
% 
% so did you name one of them "finerty" ?
% 
% Jeff Carroll
% carroll@lemon.cray.com
% 
% (i guess "scud" is close enough)

	ha ha ha ha. i really did laugh when i saw this. 

	PJF--->Biochem. grad student.
					React with this!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: John Austin <jea1@Cornell.edu>
Subject: S. Franklin obtains a clue...
X-Xxdate: Fri, 2 Oct 92 14: 47:55 GMT
Nntp-Posting-User: jea1@cornell.edu
Organization: BTI
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d9
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 13:40:12 GMT

In article <Buvu37.8E8@cs.dal.ca> Steve Franklin, franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca writes:
>(sorry if anyone gets this twice, but my newsposting is going funky)
>This is a test of my newsposter, posting gifs, and your "n" key abilities.
>
>Okay - I tried to figure out how to archive this, but no one seemed
>to know or interested. So - I'm gonna do a test post. Heck, it's not
>too big, and surely you guys wanna know what kind of jackass you're
>dealin with? So - if some kind soul could mail me and tell me if
>this works. And/or where I should put the damn thing?
>   In any case, sorry about the cheesy choice - hell, it's the only
>pic I could find. And, IT'S MY FIRST SCAN(how special huh?). Oh,
>and if you're' thinking "what an ass - and he's wearing a tux too.
>What a geek" you're probably right.
>   P.s. - if someone had just answered my question in T_Z then
>i would've probably been able to find a better solution than this 8)
>   P.S.2 - can someone tell me about fidonet? heh
>   P.S.3 - can someone tell me if this worked? I have no idea what i"m
>           doing... I guess you trim the header off first? Hmmm,
>           I"m curious to see if my little test worked. Any responses
>           are gratefully appreciated, but DON'T waste time on posts please.

I will leave the highlighting of favorite passages as an excercise for the
reader.


1234567891123456789212345678931234567894123456789512345678961234567897123456789
John Austin (jea1@cornell.edu)
Grafix 'R Us                                             Just Say No to Perot!
Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research    
123456789112345678921234.sig *still* under construction...961234567897123456789
From: dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil (Kent Paul Dolan)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: killy-fish filed by PJF
Date: 28 Sep 92 16:31:33 GMT

PJF sez:

> consider yourself killed.

Well, he may be a waste of bandwidth, but he sure can take a hint.

Bliss it were indeed to be alive in that day.

Kent, the man from xanth.
"The Birthright of humankind is the stars!"
--
Ignore the header, and don't expect me to see a news reply.  Use email to:
<dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil> or <dolan@192.138.87.240>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: stopping the plague
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 15:57:59 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.153433.3138@Princeton.EDU> greg@phoenix (greg Nowak) writes:


>Great. So, in other words, you are a Sunshine Liberal, and don't mind
>when it's Republicans who are having their civil rights joked with. As
>far as I can see, the only difference between the two cases is that
>the jokes have as their goal the infringement (or, to be concreete,
>the spreading of the idea that it is ok to infringe, or that those who
>might act to so infringe would have the silent support of a group who
>might not pass to the act but would not act to condemn -- if we want
>to use the parallel rhetoric) of different rights -- in one case, the
>right to vote, in the other, pursuit of happiness.
>
>
>Now, please make clear which of these two statements you agree with:
>
>1) "It's ok to sit at a voting refistration booth and make jokes about
>impeding women from registering to vote, as long as you don't actually
>_do_ anything"
>
>2) "sabbot is a hypocrite"
>

Actually, its:

3) greg nowak is an asshole who takes t.b. too seriously, and gets offended
by a harmless and actually funny joke. I dont know why I havent killfiled
him yet.

greg is starting to sound like enigles, mr. "Killfiles are a form of
censorship"

-rob


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: PJF4081@CC.UTAH.EDU (big daddy hate box)
Subject: Re: No looking at your neighbors' papers....
Reply-To: big daddy hate box
Organization: HATE INC.
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 18:25:22 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.24

In <6520@ac13.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@ac13.cs.nps.navy.mil writes:

> shackeld@helium.gas.uug.arizona.edu (david m shackelford ) writes:
> 
> >     A.  Man does not have the capacity to destroy the planet.
> 
> Ha ha ha ha ha HO! ha  ha  HA! He he he Ha Ha hA!
> 
> Thanks Dave, I needed a good laugh this morning.

	my friend and i figured out the best way to destroy all life on the 
planet. this would be to launch several hundred nuclear missiles at the moon 
until we really fuck it up. this should change the orbit of the earth around 
the sun enough to kill everything. i would really, honestly like to try this. 
i bet i will never get to launch a nuke though. oh well. 

	PJF--->Biochem. grad student.
					React with this!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hlow@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Handel Low)
Subject: There is something wrong with my followup thing
Summary: sorry
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 20:52:22 EDT


Pardon.

handel
From: chrisl@sancho.sybase.com (Xian the Drive)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Nothing else seems to work so here goes!!
Date: 30 Sep 92 17:23:43 GMT

In article <96914@bu.edu>, schin@acs.bu.edu (neil schier) writes:
|> I have been trying with absolutely zero success to find the recent whereabouts
|> of Vanessa Southern (Stanford '90) and Sarah Roff (Yale '90) I have tried
|> the alumni association on both campuses, alt.misc.personal and the other 
|> relevant bboards. 
|> 
|> Does anyone know these two people? If so, please let me know directly.
|> (617)xxx-xxxx  or e-mail
|> Regards
|> NEil Schier


HEH HEH...


``YEAH, THEY'RE HERE, BUT THEY CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW `COS MY--

oh forget it.



+------------+   "Some people have a way with words,
|    xian    |    and other people... 
| ----<--<@  |                        ...oh, not have way, I guess."
+------------+	          [steve martin]
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: wolf@cheshire.oxy.edu (Clinton Richard Wolf)
Subject: Dirty Socks
Summary: Are an important part of this complete breakfast... 
Organization: Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA 90041 USA.
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 05:21:44 GMT

    I just wanted to tell you all...

    I'm naked.

    Thank you.


-- Clint

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: joshua@coombs.anu.edu.au (Joshua Geller)
Subject: Re: schizophrenia versus psychopathy
Organization: Computer Services Centre, Australian National University
Date: 26 Sep 92 11:40:29 GMT

dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil (Kent Paul Dolan) writes:

>Curtis Yavin confuses schizophrenia, a disease several of whose many
>forms have been traced to physiological roots and postulated to
>genetic roots with what used to be called psychosis until the term
>became devalued in common use, then sociopathy until ditto, and now
>has some acronym name loveable only to clinical psychiatrists.

>My quadruplex co-dwellers son was _not_, and was not diagnosed to
>be, schizophrenic.  He was intensely psychotic, set into violent
>behavior by the most innocent stimulus, holding loud and violence
>filled conversations with the air about only-to-him-real children
>he had and an imaginary wife who was stealing them from him.

well, if we had had him at harborview when I was working at either acute
psychiatric intake (5C) or the locked unit (8C) I would bet we'd have
diagnosed him as paranoid schizophrenic.

josh
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Subject: Re: Pioneers
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 15:35:56 GMT



In article <BvnMyL.E2w@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton) writes:

   In <1992Oct4.230018.131@news.Hawaii.Edu> rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (80 Hours) writes:

   > "A tight bunch of bastards who want to win while loving each other,
   >  if they don't destroy their knees first, or start sleeping with 
   >  each other's girlfriends."

   >No, that's not right either.  Never mind.

   Well, no, that sounds about right.  Except all our grilfs play ultimate too.

    "A tight bunch of bastards who want to win while loving each other,
     if they don't destroy their knees first, or start sleeping with 
     each other's girlfriends." - Rigler, about Indiana Ultimate


This sounds acutely accurate about Ultimate in general, except there
aren't *that* many tight bastards on the East Coast and everyone knows
who *they* are.  And I personally didn't sleep with anyone's grilfs.
Well, except for Ultimate Affair in '85 but her fiancee didn't play
ultimate so that doesn't count.  Oh, and my ex-fiancee-slime was a
HuckHead's grilf when I met her so maybe that does count after all.
And my current's brother played (until he went for ACL reconstruction
last week) and she was dating some ultimate players before.  OK, its a
fair cop.

Of course now that my knees actually are destroyed (three operations
from ultimate after two false retirements) I have to confine myself to
safer things like volleyball and motorcycles and single women.



jv <- "...and posting to talk.bizarre"

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: greg@phoenix (greg Nowak)
Subject: Re: Double take
Originator: news@nimaster
Reply-To: greg@phoenix (greg Nowak)
Organization: Baguette Research Systems Inc.
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 16:29:51 GMT

In article <1992Oct3.191419.23683@athena.mit.edu>, dschmidt@athena (Denial Schmidt) writes:
}
}The other day I passed a street sign that said
}
}            NOT A THROUGH STREET

Was the road covered with frogs?


--greg                                     greg@phoenix.princeton.edu

        "greg came here for doughnuts and the zoo. "
        --grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (The Big Squeegee)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre