From: arkay@leland.Stanford.EDU (Abdur Khan)
Subject: The Rag --- the latest latest edition ... brought to you free  
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 92 00:19:56 GMT


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		The Rag
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proprietor : sahibzada rafay khan
editor-in-chief : sahibzada rafay khan
editor : tanveer syedmohammed
investigative reporter : jehangir hashmi
political correspondent : usman hameed


 First i would like to welcome, tanveer aas our new editor. Tanveer is
a person with a lot of expierence in News and has great political insight.
Foretelling the fall of Kuwait, Rise of Perot, and birth of Benazir's fourth
child " Be .....". Now Tanveer will be able to provide us information starved
and religiously prosecuted scpians with political and religious editorials.

With our ever expanding news service, Jehangir the sleuth who broke the news
about R3PO and our political correspondent Usman Hameed. Usman will be in
charge of our london desk, mainly to harass our ex-colonial Masters.


		US ship misfires .... the true Story

The missile attack by the US ship on an innocent turkish destroyer was due
not due to mechanical reasons but human error. American Navy men so used to 
playing videos game mistook the command console for a video arcade.
American people spend a large time of there life fiddling around with buttons
and cant diffrentiate between the real thing.

		Nawaz Sharif spending spree

Nawaz sharif has refused to buy a 42 million plane because of the recent floods
he has promised to give the money to needy people in Pakistan. He has praised
the effort of the army.

		Indian prime Minister offers Aid

Indian goverment has offered Aid to Pakistan. The mullahs are refusing to accept
the money as it is from a kufr source. Maulana Abdul Hai stated " Money or
Aid from a country that does not belive in Allah, we cannot accept, by golly we
are not paupers".

		United Muslim Party of America supports Perot

The UMP of america announced yesterday that it would support Perot. He is
one candidate who we belive in, he is straight forward, outspoken, has funny
ears and a nice haircut. With a beard he would look like our normal everday
maulvi.

		Formation of Awami Disco Party

An inaugral sesion of the Awami Disco party was held last weekend, somewhere
in the bay area. The parties principle aim is to provide clothing, food and
love to every muslim in pakistan. also open a disco at every corner to drive
young kids from drugs and kalashnikovs to music and sex. Not only will this
reduce crime but also increase birthratye and give a boost to the economy.
the founding members our 
			sahibzada rafay khan
			tanveer syedmohammed
			jehangir hashmi
			abid kemal

		
		National SCP awards ... sponsored by the Rag

To collect awards please dial 1-900-HAVE_FUN. These awards have been awarded to
SCP members who have continued on there path of ..............

intellectual award 		Adil Najam ( who else with his flood of
					    soon to be coreected poetry)
romeo award 			DSQA ( special award for DSQA)

leaving for pakistan award	Naveed Siraj Memom( is he leaving or
					not and when ???????)

postperson award                 Rukhsana Merchant(continous posting
					of articles for other bay area SCPians

colonial syndrome award		Usman Hameed ( for his fine response to
					the economist article 

green card award			Tanveer syed  ( for his announcement to
					every paki, when he got his green card
					and the rest is history.

farrukh zafar fan club award		Rukhsana and Salman : shared

longest nazam award			Zia Zafir

The rest of the people i dont remember or i dont notice, write interesting
articles and you may also go down in SCPian history. 

Please send Letters to the editor to "arkay@leland.stanford.edu" and the
subject heading " letters"

saying Khuda Hafiz, Namaste, Good bye and Mariacone

sahibzada rafay khan [ for all the men and women may you make love atleast
once]