From: goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: NO SEX PLEASE ... THEY'RE BRITISH
Date: 16 Nov 92 15:35:03 CST
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

In article <Bxt2z4.G64@cck.coventry.ac.uk>, csg188@cch.coventry.ac.uk (DAVE) writes:
> From jbrett Mon Nov 16 09:37:48 1992
> Date: Mon, 16 Nov 92 09:37:26 GMT
> To: csg188
> Status: R
> 
>       As the grand high wizard of the Coventry branch of Freemasons, I would
> just like to add my voice to the growing number of complaints about all this
> "SEX" talk on alt.fan.monty-python. Lets get back to the good old days, when
> letters were suitable for family reading with none of this smut and filth
> and we discussed parrots and lumberjacks and lemon curry.
>  
>       I should'nt need to bribe you with any of the usual garbage, such as
> sex to keep you reading my letter. I've never once had to stoop to mentioning
> any kind of sex you'll be glad to have noticed. I've not had to resort to
> keeping you entertained with indiscreet glimpses into the bed or bathroom to
> keep your eyes on the screen. Oh no, sir, and now do you see how unnecessary
> page after page of sexy talk and writing is in letters.
>       I don't know why the writers stoop to putting such things in, surely
> its only to keep people reading their letters and yet you arn't taken in by
> such smutty talk. Are you? To read a letter succesfully to the end, you
> don't have to be titillated with little glimpses of Gina Goff's silken thigh
> as she discreetly drops her dressing gown and steps naked onto the bathrug.
> You don't need to see her run her fingers carelessly through her long blond 
> hair, or watch the fine tanned muscles in her back moving lightly and easily
> under the effort.
>       Not for you, surely, the neccessity to see her standing under the shower
> in the fine full nakedness of a young woman of twenty. To fell the splash of
> the warm water tingling against her firm skin, to watch her hair dampening,
> and falling in long coils across her firm bosoms, to feel her nipples becoming
> firm with the kiss of the shower, her body arching up into the warmth, losing
> herself in the sensual feel of the water, pushing her thighs towards the 
> tingle of the spray, the damp hair rubbing roughly against the soap in her
> hands, as she covers her body in the sensuous warm glow, and feels her very
> soul alive with excitement. Only then did she become aware of Jester's naked
> body in the shower beside her. No, this is not for you. Of course not. You 
> don't need such cheep ploys of snoddy writing to keep you reading. Not for 
> you, a sense of disapointment when the dirty stuff ends, and the quick move
> to the next letter to see where the next love story begins. You're not that
> sort of person I can tell. You wouldn't be even slightly interested in
> sending 20 pounds sterling to me (or 10 pounds for masons), to get the full 
> story, illustrated with over 50 full colour photographs of Gina's naked body. 
> You don't care that the address is 'Behind the hot water pipes,  3rd washroom 
> along, Victoria Station, London, UK.'. And your'e certainly not about to cum 
> in your pants...Excuse me a moment..... Now lets get back to python.
> 
> 							MR.X
> 
> 
Are you THE Mr. X?  Surely not Malcolm X though. Oh may I please have
your autograph? Yes, here's a piece of paper. Wel, I do believe it's
stuck in my pocket. Can you reach it? Good. There you go. 
Thanks for the autograph. And that was a decent description of me(read
the above), though it doesn't quite do me justice. I am, after all,
much more sensuous than that. But that's not necessary to keep your
attention on the screen. Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you
just that happy to hear from me?

							Gina
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python