From: arf@ddsw1.mcs.com (Jack Schmidling)
Subject: Re: The Difference Between Conservatives and Liberals
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 04:40:09 GMT
Organization: ddsw1.MCS.COM Contributor, Chicago, IL

In article <1992Sep24.051252.10461@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu> shackeld@argon.gas.uug.arizona.edu (david m shackelford ) writes:
>In article <1992Sep15.180936.6562@galileo.physics.arizona.edu> krueger@galileo.physics.arizona.edu (Ted Krueger) writes:
>>Conservatives think that liberals are wrong.
>>Liberals think that conservatives are stupid.



 
                WHAT'S IN A NAME?
 
 Until the last presidential campaign, many thoughtful and 
 mature people thought that name calling was a harmless 
 weapon of childhood.  I was expecting, any moment that a 
 Republican was going to follow up his "you're a Liberal" 
 statement by sticking out his tounge.  The clear implication 
 was that to be a liberal is BAD.  Not quite ready to accept 
 the fact that all Liberals are BAD I decided that perhaps, I 
 do not know what a Liberal is and so I asked around for some 
 guidelines of liberalism so that I could determine wheather 
 or not I fit and whether or not being a Liberal is BAD.
 
 First of all I was told that Liberals are liberal with other 
 people"s money and like to see it spent on handouts, 
 welfare, foreign aid and such things. 
 
 Well, I certainly fit that requirement because, being an 
 affluent capitalist with money invested all over the world, 
 I insist on a liberal return of other people's money as 
 profit on my investments.  Furthermore, I am delighted when 
 other people's money is used for handouts and welfare 
 because that way I get to spend my money on things that I 
 think are important.
 
 Next I was told that Liberals want all races to intermarry 
 to create a healthy, suntanned look on everyone.  This one 
 gives me problems because it would be bad for business at my 
 sunbelt resorts where other people give me their money so 
 they can get nice Winter tans.  So if I am against 
 intermarriage, I must be a Conservative.
 
 On the other hand, Conservatives must be Christians 
 violently opposed to abortion.  I am neither so I must be 
 Liberal.
 
 Liberals want to disband the Army and give the money to poor 
 people, increase taxes and foreign aid.  I support a strong 
 defense, SDI and think the Income Tax and all foreign aid 
 should be abolished, so I must be a Conservative.
 
 Finally it was pointed out that all environmentalists are 
 Liberals or was it the other way around?  It was further 
 noted the the environmental movement is a Communist 
 conspiracy.
 
 I plead guilty to the first part because I helped a group 
 that was trying to prevent Waste Management, Inc. from 
 filling the last tiny bit of wetland left in Chicago with 
 garbage and a shopping mall.   My interest was to make sure 
 that migrating birds, having crossed Lake Michigan, have 
 something to land on besides garbage and shopping malls. 
 
 If that is a Communist conspiracy, than I think we should 
 encourage more of them.  The only conspiracy I see is one to 
 turn everything made by "the creator" into man's image and 
 likeness, that is into garbage.  
 
 We were also told how to pronounce ACLU.  If you are a 
 Conservative, you say A! C! L! U! with as much vennom as you 
 can muster.  If you are a Liberal you flaunt your ACLU 
 membership card.  Well, I loathe their support of 
 affirmative action so I must be a Conservative.  However, I 
 support their insistance on the right to freedom of speech 
 so I guess I am Liberal.  
 
 After my exhaustive analysis, I have finally concluded that 
 I am not a Liberal or a Conservative.  I have yet to find an 
 individual, let alone a group or organization whose entire 
 platform I could accept and it seems obvious that anyone who 
 accepts all of the precepts of Conservativism is just as 
 narrow minded and ignorant as someone who accepts all of the 
 precepts of Liberalism.
 
 Before we leave the nosense of lables, we must acknowledge 
 the oxymoronic notion of Moderates by suggesting that they 
 are simply morons because they have no opinion on anything.  
 
 The rational mind must continue to search for rational 
 solutions to real problems.  Anyone who hides behind lables 
 or quotes a religious book to justify their views and 
 actions ceases to be rational.   
 
 js
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