HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: brcarls@hubcap.clemson.edu (Brian R. Carlson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Military Humor
Date: 15 Oct 92 14:08:56 GMT
Organization: Clemson University

nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu writes:


>At scout camp the counselors were repairing the softball field backstop.
>I was sent for the "wire stretcher" tool. 

You must be a damn yankee or a dumbass city slicker 'cause there is such 
a thing.  It is almost impossible to do a good job on a chain link, 
electric, or barbed wire fence without one...

On the nonexistant item list:

Try asking your mom to pick up a six pack of "parity bits" for your modem
from the computer store... ODD preferred but EVEN will do if they are out.


>oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo
>oo1oo     Binary 4s all around.  And a "bit-bird" to you too!     oo1oo
>oo1oo   ------------------------------------------------------    oo1oo
>oo1oo    Some people don't know the difference between a grin     oo1oo
>oo1oo    and a grimace.  /s/Dennis (nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu)    oo1oo
>oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo

				   "And most of us have been penned up 

				    but I'm still arunnin' wild" 

						    -Lone Wolf 

.
From: berardo@ug.cs.dal.ca (Troy Berardo)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Roomates...
Date: 8 Oct 92 18:37:41 GMT
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada


	Quite a while ago I saw a List of Ways to Confuse (Annoy) your
	roomate(s).  I think it was in this newsgroup and if anyone
	happens to have it on file could they PLEASE send it to me.
	Any help will be much appreciated.  Thanks in advance.
						Troy
Xref: sparky rec.humor:30952 alt.politics.elections:16196 talk.politics.misc:51046
From: dchatham@utkvx3.utk.edu (Chatham, Doug)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.elections,talk.politics.misc
Subject: Perot's Reentry
Keywords: Perot October fix Apologies to Dr. Bombay
Date: 12 Oct 92 12:52:00 GMT
Organization: University of Tennessee Computing Center
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

Four comments on Perot's born-again candidacy for President:

1. Is it possible that Perot started with a plan to quit and reenter at the
last possible moment in an "October Surprise"?  Since Congress has so much
experience looking for October Surprises, maybe it should investigate.

2. Quitters never win.

3. Perot has vowed to "fix" the nation.  What does a neutered nation look like?

4. No matter how much money he spends, no matter what stunts he pulls, no
matter how hard he tries, he will never, ever pass this course --- uh ---
get my vote.

Sincerely, 
Doug Chatham

PS Apologies if you've seen this before. I'm having problems with the local
poster.
Organization: Sophomore, Math/Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 11:42:20 -0400 
From: Patrick B Mcclory <pm3u+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Find the Bug (the real answer)
	<1992Oct9.142533.16438@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>

ews System) writes:
>> 	The following deduction has a bug. C if u can figure where...
>> 
>> 	Three guys rent a three-bed room in a hotel, each one paying $10.
>> 	Late that night, the hotel manager finds ou he made a mistake:
>> 	The price of the room was not $30 but $25, so he called an
>> 	employee and told him to give the $5 back to the clients.
>> 	And so it went. But the employee started thinking: How am I going to
>> 	split the money between the 3 guys ? I better keep $2, and so give
>> 	$1 to each of them,
>> 	Conclusion:
>> 		Each client payed $9 ($10 - $1), and 3x9 = 27 plus the 
>> 	$2 the employee kept, that makes $29...
>> 	
>> 	Where is the missing $ ???
>> 

it is true that the clients payed the 27$, but the total amount paid to
the owner was $27 - 2$, which makes $25.  Not $27 + $2 which makes $29.
because they paid $27, not 29$.

  
The Lizard King 

...If dogs ever rule the planet, I hope they don't choose their leaders
on size alone, because I bet there are some poodles out there with some
good ideas.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sorgatz@avatar.tti.com (sorgatz)
Subject: Re: THESE DAMN CASCADES!
Keywords: RTFM you .edu newbies!
Organization: Transaction Technology Inc.
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 23:20:23 GMT

In article <t06qbggg@cck.coventry.ac.uk> mei172@cch.coventry.ac.uk (guru) writes:
>In article <1992Sep25.235305.982@ttinews.tti.com> sorgatz@avatar.tti.com (sorgatz) writes:
>>Hey look, it's pretty obvious you people have not been paying attention;
>>cascades are not a part of the charter for 'rec.humor'. Kindly stop posting
>>this garbage. There is an alt group called 'alt.cascade' specifically for
>>these stupid, run on postings..that goes for you too, Kibo! 
>>
>guru sez:
>	hands up everybody in the room whose site doesn't get alt.cascades...
>
>	Evidently friend sorgatz has no grasp of life for those people who
>	are "newsgroup challenged".
>-- 
>      /~~~) /   / /~~~) /   /  
>     (___/ (___/ /     (___/   These mind-expanding drugs have given me so much
>        /                      imagination, I'm hallucinating grey vividly....
>   (___/ mei172@cch.cov.ac.uk                       Victor Lewis-Smith

 Makes not a bit of difference, the net voted to EXCLUDE cascades from 
rec.humor. The charter does not mention them, in fact cascades are viewed
as being a for of network terrorism! You are wasting valuable bandwidth
with stuff that very few people find funny. If you insist that this stuff
*is* funny, why not take it to email? In any case I would suggest that you
read 'net.news.users.announce' and see for yourself, or instigate a new 
vote to include cascades - change the charter if you insist! I'll stand
by a vote on this...will you?

Ob.joke: American Politics


-Avatar-> (aka: Erik K. Sorgatz) KB6LUY           +-------------------------+
TTI(sorgatz@soldev.tti.com)                       *   Think Eco, not EGO!   *
3100 Ocean Park Blvd. Santa Monica, CA  90405     +-------------------------+
(OPINIONS EXPRESSED DO NOT REFLECT THE VIEWS OF CITICORP OR ITS MANAGEMENT!)
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Hello
Date: 9 Oct 92 15:30:23 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>>>>>>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>>>>>>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>>>>>>>>Why not today.
>>>>>>>> BTW... :-)
>>>>>>>Throw the "C" manual away !
>>>>>>I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
>>>>>BASIC is here to stay!
>>>>12 year olds sure like to play!
>>>I'll add one more line, OK?
>>The sun is shining its brightest ray!
>This whole thing is pretty damn gay!
I enjoy it anyway.
-- 
+ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - +
|         ///   ///    ///////                 -=FORTY-TWO=-                |
|        ///   ///   /////////         We *ARE* The meaning of life!        |
|       //////////  //   ///     << TMA4@LEHIGH.EDU -=- SES3@LEHIGH.EDU >>  |
|      //////////      ///           Terry Auspitz        Sarai Spohn       |
|           ///      ///            Stephanie Ridley       Matt Peck        |
|          ///     ////////      << SLR7@LEHIGH.EDU -=- MRP2@LEHIGH.EDU >>  |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kml@cellar.org (Scott Tiger)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Fanning the Flames of Hate
Date: 14 Oct 92 16:46:11 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system

> >>>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
> >> I am not wearing any underware...
> > Dan-Quayle-level spelling, but do you care?
> I've seen this before, I don't know where.
Probably in alt.cascade, where it f*cking belongs.

                  Something constructive should come here.
                 $dump ora_control1/blocks=(start:1,end:5)
                     Vidi, Vici, Veni!
  kml%cellar@tredysvr.tredydev.unisys.com - My other account is a Mercedes.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi)
Subject: Cecil The Cornflake pt. 1
Reply-To: davidk@welch.jhu.edu
Organization: Welch Medical Library
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 14:23:32 GMT

Cecil The Cornflake part 1 -= The Birth of Cecil =-

Cecil came into conscious existance in a factory of Kellogg's.  He looked
to his left and saw cornflakes, he looked to his right and saw cornflakes,
he looked up and saw cornflakes, he looked down and saw cornflakes, in fact
there were cornflakes all around him!  I think therefore I am!  Came into 
his mind.  I don't belong at the bottom of the pile.  
	So he wiggled and he squirmed and he squirmed and he wiggled and 
he wiggled and he squirmed he squirmed and he wiggled and he wiggled and
he squirmed and he squirmed and he wiggled up the cornflake pile so he
could be the best cornflake to ever be soaked with milk.
	Now he was on top.  I am here!  He was proud and happy.  But then
he realized that he was on a conveyer belt and heading toward the end.  
Over he went, aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!  dark.........

-=out of time for now, more adventure tommorow=-
From: nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: RE: Military Humor
Date: 14 Oct 92 23:50:48 -0600
Organization: Memphis State University


At scout camp the counselors were repairing the softball field backstop.
I was sent for the "wire stretcher" tool. 

oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo
oo1oo     Binary 4s all around.  And a "bit-bird" to you too!     oo1oo
oo1oo   ------------------------------------------------------    oo1oo
oo1oo    Some people don't know the difference between a grin     oo1oo
oo1oo    and a grimace.  /s/Dennis (nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu)    oo1oo
oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo
From: smith@ctron.com (Larry Smith)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Cascade the Flames of Love
Date: 14 Oct 92 17:08:27 GMT
Reply-To: smith@ctron.com
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Cabletron Systems, Inc.

>>>>>>>>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
>>>>>>>I suppose you think we really care!
>>>>>>Cascades are funny, just my fare!
>>>>>Hun? What?  I'll have my steak rare!
>>>>He's smarter than the average bear!
>>>But more stupid then the dumbest hare!
>>If you don't stop, my teeth I'll bare!
>I'm shivering. Are you trying to throw a scare?
Sorry, Erik, but in war all's fair!

Larry Smith (smith@ctron.com)  No, I don't speak for Cabletron.  Need you ask?
-
Liberty is not the freedom to do whatever we want,
it is the freedom to do whatever we are able.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:31217 aus.jokes:1627 alt.folklore.computers:15143
From: smith@ctron.com (Larry Smith)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Date: 15 Oct 92 12:00:47 GMT
Reply-To: smith@ctron.com
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Cabletron Systems, Inc.

In article <t923335.719022298@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU>, t923335@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au (IronEagle ) writes:
>mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh) writes:

>>Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!

>Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....

HA!  _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex Sinclair!  Top THAT!

Larry Smith (smith@ctron.com)  No, I don't speak for Cabletron.  Need you ask?
-
Liberty is not the freedom to do whatever we want,
it is the freedom to do whatever we are able.
From: wapembe@afterlife.ncsc.mil (William Pemberton)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bastard Operator From Hell #14
Date: 11 Oct 92 04:56:50 GMT
Organization: The Great Beyond

thanks a great deal.  i and my office workers truly enjoyed the previous ones.
hehehehe.  please keep up the excellent work.
APPLAUSE B-)}
-- 
 ___________
|  wapembe  | development|
|  ka3yyr   | this half  |
|-----------|            |   "Wrong word. FACT!"
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Cascade the Flames of Love
Date: 8 Oct 92 18:14:48 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

>>>>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
>>>I suppose you think we really care!
>>Cascades are funny, just my fare!
>Hun? What?  I'll have my steak rare!
He's smarter than the average bear!
-- 
+ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - +
|         ///   ///    ///////                 -=FORTY-TWO=-                |
|        ///   ///   /////////         We *ARE* The meaning of life!        |
|       //////////  //   ///     << TMA4@LEHIGH.EDU -=- SES3@LEHIGH.EDU >>  |
|      //////////      ///           Terry Auspitz        Sarai Spohn       |
|           ///      ///            Stephanie Ridley       Matt Peck        |
|          ///     ////////      << SLR7@LEHIGH.EDU -=- MRP2@LEHIGH.EDU >>  |
Xref: sparky rec.humor:30669 rec.humor.d:2351
From: jcoper@ccu.umanitoba.ca (D. Joseph Creighton)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
Subject: --> WANTED: Scottish ballad (and jokes)
Date: 6 Oct 92 15:21:08 GMT
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

I am looking for a Scottish ballad I heard some time ago.  Someone told
me that it was on a radio hurmor program "Doctor Demento."  The ballad's
first verse was (paraphrased from memory):

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by the way he walked
That he drunk more than his share.
He stumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
Then he tumbled off into the grass
To sleep beside the street.

If anyone has the complete text to this, please send it as soon as
possible via email, as I don't read the newsgroup that often.

(Side bar: I also noted a Scottish jokes thread recently.  Is there a
list someone has collected?  If so, I'd be grateful for it as well.)

Many thanks.
---
     "Slow down faster!" - my wife, Laurie, about my driving habits.
+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
D. Joseph Creighton  <jcoper@ccu.umanitoba.ca> - U of M Computer Services
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Lawyer Jokes
From: rivero@mdcbbs.com (Michael Rivero)
Date: 8 Oct 92 10:42:41 PDT
Distribution: world
Organization: M&E (Division of EDS), Cypress CA

In article <92281.100327RICKI@wvnvm.wvnet.edu>, RICKI@wvnvm.wvnet.edu (Ricki Dulin) writes:
|> With all the demand for lawyer jokes, got these off another bulletin board -
|> however, I am still collecting.  So if you have more, please send them to me.
|> 
|>                               LAWYER JOKES
|> 

  The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through 
the brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks 
the ass of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around
and says,"Hey! Cut it out, already". The rear tiger says, "sorry", and
they continue. After about another 5 miniutes, the rear tiger again reaches 
out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front
tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says,"I said stop it!".
The rear tiger says, "sorry", and they continue. After about another 
5 miniutes, the rear tiger once more licks the ass of the tiger in 
front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger,"What is it with
you, anyway?" The rear tiger replies,"Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm
trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"



<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
|  Michael Rivero rivero@mdcbbs.com  "Middle-aged Mutant Ninja Animator" |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|  "The great masses of people. . .will more easily fall                 |
|  victims to a big lie than to a small one."                            |
|                                          --Adolph Hitler               |
|                                                                        |
|   "All men are potential rapists, and that's _all_ they are!"          |
|                                 -- Susan Brownmiller                   |
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
From: ahummel@ems.cdc.com (H. Austin Hummel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: How do they do it?
Date: 16 Oct 92 16:18:25 GMT
Reply-To: you@ems.cdc.com
Organization: Empros Systems International, a division of CDC

In article <1992Oct15.213720.21506@col.hp.com>, dag@col.hp.com (David Geiser) writes:
|> 
|> 
|> Accountants are good with figures.
|> ....
|> Teachers do it repeatedly.
|> Teachers do it with class.
|> ...

Left out:

Teachers do it until you do it right!
From: scific@cbnewse.cb.att.com (randy.c.jones)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request - What does Ph.D. stand for?
Date: 16 Oct 92 14:29:34 GMT
Article-I.D.: cbnewse.1992Oct16.142934.16154
Distribution: usa
Organization: AT&T

In article <1992Oct15.225030.11701@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com>, howeird@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com writes:
> According to mayne@cs.fsu.edu:
> >I know this is a perenial topic, but I've been goofing off working
> >on my dissertation instead of reading rec.humor. Now I need to know
> >10 things "Ph.D." stands for to put on invitations to my celebration.
> >Examles: Piled Higher and Deeper, Post Hole Digger, Past with High
                                                       ----
> >Difficulty, and to finish up the list Phinally Done.


   For someone who is working on/getting a Ph.D. spelling or English
   grammer must not have been a requirement (Passed).
From: u081f304@astro.ocis.temple.edu (cis081 sec101 fall92)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: <None>
Date: 7 Oct 92 03:53:28 GMT
Organization: Temple University
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Neil Enns ($ennsnr@brandonu.ca) wrote:
: In article <1992Sep25.184520.3169@Princeton.EDU>, zhuz@flower.Princeton.EDU (Zhaoliang Zhu) writes:
: > Anyone has jokes about statistics or statisticians?  Please share them with
: > me!  I will appreciate a lot and post all the good ones.
: 
: Taken from someone's .sig: 97.3% of all statistics are made up.
: 
: -- 
: *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
: 
:     _/      _/  _/_/_/  _/  _/		Reading furnishes the mind only with 
:    _/_/    _/  _/      _/  _/		materials of knowledge; it is thinking
:   _/  _/  _/  _/_/    _/  _/		that makes what we read ours.
:  _/    _/_/  _/      _/  _/			-- John Locke
: _/      _/  _/_/_/  _/  _/_/_/		
: 					Neil Enns, Brandon University
: Disclaimer: Huh?			Internet: $ennsnr@brandonU.ca
: 
: *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
  Old but good - politician to statician(sp?) -
					"What do these figures mean?"
				- statician to politician =
					"What do you WANT them to mean?"

									David Binns

	stock disclaimer lost several years ago w/ .sig files & accounts.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.quayle
From: madams@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Michael T Adams)
Subject: Mr. Kimberlin's story...
Organization: The Ohio State University
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 11:35:07 GMT

     My condolences to you guys in the family values crusade on the side of
Mr. Bush and Mr. Quayle.

     Looks like your campaign is really going to pot.

                                                  Mike


--
From: jking@socs.uts.edu.au (smathy werp)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: just wanted to say ..
Date: 14 Oct 92 08:45:12 GMT
Organization: Computing Sciences, Uni of Technology, Sydney.


	i used to be apathetic .. but now i cant be bothered

	i used to be egotistic .. but now im perfect

	i used to be indecicive .. but now im not so sure

	i used to be forgetful ...


	| elephant | jason | jking@socs.uts.EDU.AU |
From: umwaletz@ccu.umanitoba.ca (James L. Waletzky)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bumper Snickers
Date: 15 Oct 92 17:00:27 GMT
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Canada

I kinda like the one that was on a hurse:

  "Keep drinking and driving - it's good for business"


James.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: das9674@usl.edu (Stephenson Daniel A)
Subject: Highest?
Organization: University of Southwestern Louisiana
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 05:29:25 GMT
Re: Purity Test Scores: Lowest

So, what are some of the highest score seen?
-- 
Dan Stephenson, a *true* FORTRAN Hacker                        das9674@usl.edu  
"I have never understood why it should be neccessary to become irrational in
 order to prove that you care. Or indeed why it should be neccessary to prove
 it at all."  -Avon (Blakes 7 _The Duel_)
From: chic@chopin.udel.edu (Robert L Chiccarine)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: sex test
Date: 15 Oct 92 22:21:31 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware


		      THE OFFICIAL POLISH SEX QUIZ
		      ---------------------------- 


Name_________________________        Score__________________________

 Study each question carefully. Then choose the answer that seems MOST
 correct (True or False) and Mark an X (Just like you sign your name) in 
 the appropriate box at the right.

                                                            True   False

 1. A Clitoris is a type of flower.                         ____   _____
 2. Pubic Hair is a wild rabbit.                            ____   _____
 3. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird.                      ____   _____
 4. Vagina is a medical term to describe heart trouble.     ____   _____
 5. A Menstrual Cycle has three (3) wheels.                 ____   _____
 6. A G-String is part of a violin.                         ____   _____
 7. Semen is another name for a "Sailor".                   ____   _____
 8. Anus is the Latin word for "Yearly".                    ____   _____
 9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.                      ____   _____
10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles.                      ____   _____
11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.                 ____   _____
12. KOTEX is a radio station in Bryan, Texas.               ____   _____
13. Coitus is a musical instrument.                         ____   _____
14. Fetus is a character on "Gunsmoke".                     ____   _____
15. An Umbilical Cord is part of a parachute.               ____   _____
16. Condom is an apartment complex.                         ____   _____
17. An Orgasm is the person who accompanies the choir
      in church.                                            ____   _____
18. A Diaphram is a drawing in Geometry.                    ____   _____
19. A Dildo is a variety of sweet pickles.                  ____   _____
20. An Erection is when the Japanese vote for their new
      government officials.                                 ____   _____
21. A Lesbian is a person from the Middle East.             ____   _____
22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass.         ____   _____
23. Pornography is the business of making record albums.    ____   _____
24. Genitals are people of non-jewish origins.              ____   _____
25. Douche is the Italian word for "twelve".                ____   _____
26. An Enema is someone who is not your friend.             ____   _____
27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese.         ____   _____
28. Scrotum is a small planet near Uranus.                  ____   _____
29. "Cock" is a bird that crows in the morning.             ____   _____
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Election Jokes
Date: 9 Oct 92 21:19:59 GMT
Article-I.D.: tamsun.1992Oct9.211959.339
Organization: ~/lib/organization

pt@geovision.gvc.com writes:
>mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver) writes:
>
>>Agreed. The representative democracy we have in this country sucks wind.
>
>Speak for yerself, Yank!

Yank??? I didn't realize Texas had migrated northward...


Ratboy
Newsgroups: rec.humor