From: mccd@elroy.uh.edu (R. Golshan (713)-743-1540)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian
Subject: Posting Guidelines(16 points)
Date: 11 Oct 92 20:58:00 GMT
Article-I.D.: elroy.11OCT199215585090
Organization: University of Houston
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


	After reading some of the postings on our new group, I decided to 
post this.  Some might find it interesting, however, some might use it as 
guidelines for their future postings.

							RGolshan@uh.edu
	
						

		      The Guide to Power Posting
		      ==========================

1.   Conspiracies abound:  If everyone's against you, there's obviously
        a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire
        net a favor by exposing it.  Be sure to mention the CIA, FBI
        Oliver North and the Army as co-conspiritors.

2.   Lawsuit threats:  This is the reverse of Rule #1.  Threatening a
        lawsuit is always considered to be in good form.  "By saying that
        I've posted to the wrong group, Charlie has libeled me, slandered
        me, and sodomized me.  See you in court, Charlie."

3.   Force them to document their claims:  Even if Jane Jones
        states outright that she has  cramps, you should demand
        documentation.  If Newsweek hasn't written an article on Jane's
        cramps, then Jane's obviously lying.

4.   Use foreign phrases:  French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca
        of USENET.  You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three
        times per article.  Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseam",
        "vini, vidi, vici", "E Pluribus Unum" and "fetuccini alfredo".

5.   Tell 'em how smart you are:  Why use intelligent arguments to
        convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them?
        State that you're a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of America.
        Tell them the scores you received on every exam since high school.
        "I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell
        the word 'premeiotic' ".

6.   Be an armchair psychologist:  You're a smart person.  You've heard of
        Freud.  You took a psychology course in college.  Clearly, you're
        qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent.

7.   Accuse your opponent of censorship.  It is your right as an American
        citizen to post whatever   you want to the net (as guaranteed
        by the 37th Amendment, I think).  Anyone who tries to limit your
        cross-posting or move a flame war to email is either a Communist, a
        fascist, or both.

8.   Doubt their existence:  You've never actually seen your opponent,
        have you?  And since you're the center of the universe, you should
        have seen them by now, shouldn't you?  Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST!
        Call'em an AI project, to really make them mad.

9.   Laugh at whatever they write.  A good "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
        should intimidate just about anyone.

10.  When in doubt, insult:  If you forget the other rules, remember
        this one.  At some point during your wonderful career on USENET
        you will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is
        better than you.  This person will expose your lies, tear apart your
        arguments, make you look generally like a bozo.  At this point,
        there's only one thing to do:  insult your rival!!!

11.  Make things up about your opponent:  It's important to make your lies
        sound true.  Preface your argument with the word "clearly."
        "Clearly, Fred Flooney is a liar, and..."

12.  Cross-post your article:  Everyone on the net is just waiting for
        the next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal.  From
        rec.arts.wobegon to alt.gourmand, they're all holding their breaths
        until your next flame.  Therefore, post everywhere.

13.  Use the smiley to your advantage.  You can call anyone just about
        anything as long as you include the smiley.  On really nasty attacks
        add "No flames, please". 

14.  Should you post something exceedingly stupid and later regret it, don't
        worry.  You needn't cancel the article.  That only shows what a wimp
        you really are.  Deny that you ever sent it.  "It must be a
        forgery!"  (Yea, that's the ticket, it's a forgery!)  "Someone broke
        into my account and sent it!"

15.  A really cheap shot is to call you opponent a "facist".  By itself, it
        really does nothing.  But, when used often, and in enough articles,
        it can make you a net-legend.

16.  And finally, never edit your newsgroup line when following up (unless
     you're expanding it).  This drives 'em wild.  Be sure to follow up as
     many articles as possible, even if you have nothing to say.  The
     important thing is to get "exposure" so that you can be called a
     "regular" in your pet newsgroup.  Never change the ">" symbol when
     following up; that's for wimps.  Dump a hundred lines of "INEWS FODDER"
     in every article.