From: mye3349@cuphub.cup.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: COMBAT LAWS
Date: 5 Nov 92 23:23:03 GMT
Organization: California University of Pennsylvania, California, PA

For those of you who are looking for murphy's Laws

  Here is a set for combat







    


                   Murphy's Laws of Combat

1.) You aren't Superman.  (Freshly graduated recruits from Marine boot camp, 
                            and all fighter piolets, especiall, take note)

2.) Suppressive fires - won't

3.) If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid

4.) Don't look conspicous -- it draws fire ( For this reason aircraft carriers
                                             have been called "Bomb Magnets")

5.) When in doubt empty the magizine

6.) Never forget your weapon was made by the lowest bidder

7.) If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush

8.) No plan survives the first contact, intact

9.) All five second gernade fuses will burn down in three seconds

10.) Try to look unimportant, because the bad guys may be low on ammo 
       ( Triva devotees will recall the sudden disappearence of rank and 
         distinctive caps on the uniforms worn by Soviet officers in
         Afghanistan)

11.) If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short

12.) The enemy diversionyou are ignoring is the main atckck

13.) The important things are always simple

14.) The simple things are always hard

15.) The easy way is always mined

16.) If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in combat

17.) When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy

18.) Incoming fire has the right of way

19.) No-combat ready group has passed inspection. 
      ( Note: No marine unit has ever failed a combat readiness inspection,
           which suggests peacetime inspections are readiness as mess 
           hall food is cuisine)

20.) If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU

21.) Beer Math -> 2 beers time 37 men equals 49 cases

22.) Body count math -> 3 guerrillas plus 1 probale plus 2 pigs equals 37 
      enemies killed in action
 
23.) Friendly fire -- isn't 

24.) Things that must be together to work, usually can't be shipped 
      together

25.) Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support despertly.
      (Corollary: Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and 
                   especially during both)

26.) Anything you do can get you shot - including doing nothing

27.) Make it tough for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out
       ( This seems to be the guiding design principle behind the 
          Soviet's BMP and our Bradley infantry vehicle, both of which
          nicely package the troops in armored boxes for group distruction)

28.) Tracers work both ways

29.) The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly
      fire

30.) If you take more than your share of objectives, you will have more than 
      your fair share to take

31.) When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they're both right

32.) Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs

33.) Murphy was a grunt

34.) All or any of the above combined
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There they are , if anybody out there has any to add please send them to me 
  and any comments to!!!



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       I am the SHADOW STALKER ==> MYE3349@CUPHUB.CUP.EDU
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Newsgroups: rec.humor