From: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu (have clue, will travel)
Subject: Re: PRESENTING>>> The MU Absorb-Off!
Reply-To: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu
Organization: The Ghost Of Christmas Past Society
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 16:26:54 GMT


dhenry@plains.NoDak.edu (David R. Henry) writes:
> [various power-absorbers' descriptions listed: btw, it's "Powerhouse".]
> Rogue, Absorbing Man, Mimic, Adaptoid, Awesome Android, Gideon, + P'house...
>Okay, the stage is set. Any other absorbers we have hanging around we ignore,
>because I didn't remember them in time? 

Oh, let's not forget one of the all-time classic throwaway absorbers, from
the twenties of the X-Men (Re-Enter the Mimic);  THE DEFENDER!

(Basically a big orange tub toy with the ability to suck up mutant power blasts
like Scotty's power beam and Bobby's killer snowballs and throw them back
at the general environment.  Last seen plunging through the floor of the
Thinker's headquarters, I believe.)

(Or how about everyone's favorite insane Russian scientist, a man who
could have been the caterer for the Donner Party, and a 1989 graduate of the
Victor Von Doom School for the Truly Arrogant (cum laude):  from X-Factor 
Annual #1,  Dr. Wolfgang Heinrich -- DOPPLEGANGER!)

(We'll let them hold up the judges' scorecards.)

>And now, the whistle's blown, the referee jumps for cover, as the one and only
>question goes booming out over the landscape:  HO'OD WIN?

Well, let's see who starts with what:
Rogue -- 50-ton range super-strength, invulnerability, flight, cute 'do.
Powerhouse -- 50-ton range super-strength, and the ability to "drain all your
    lives, if I wanted to."  Subtle guy.
Mimic -- not much, unless he still has the life-force draining ability he 
    possessed right before he soul-kissed the Hulk and gamma-ed himself out
    of existence.
Adaptoid -- ditto, though we COULD give him the benefit of the doubt and throw
    in a token Iron Man template or something.  
Awesome Android -- super-strength, super-breath, super-ugly.
Absorbing Man -- whatever he happens to be standing on.  Concrete, p'raps?
Gideon -- not much, other than a lamentable resume (if he's the big foe of
     the NEW WARRIORS, he needs a better agent.)


Round one:  Rogue picks out the largest critter in the room (i.e. the Android),
and flattens it.  No major damage to the Android, but its momentum sends it
flying through the room, landing atop Gideon, who learns that absorption powers
don't do much against a couple of tons of flying rock.  He becomes a splotch
on the pavement.  

  The Absorbing Man reaches down, taps the concrete floor, and proceeds to
send Cal Rankin flying through the ceiling tiles with his densed-up wrecking
ball.  Nothing personal, Cal, but you really need a token mutant to absorb in
the middle of the arena or something to be competitive here...

  Powerhouse watches as the Adaptoid picks up a cute Xandarian uniform.  Since
he isn't really that much of a power-absorber, the transformation holds, and
they proceed to pound each other into goo for a while.

Round two:  The Android gets up, shrugs, and sends off a gale-force wind from
what passes as his mouth these days.  The rest of the combatants go flying
against the wall, ending up in a large pile.  Yes, this IS a bad thing.

Rogue bounces against the Absorbing Man.  As Creel's ability is magical in
nature, he gets a slight upper hand; Rogue turns into concrete and passes out,
while Creel staggers about for a bit, woozy but semi-conscious.

Powerhouse taps Creel on the shoulder with a gloved finger, says "Pardon me...",
and WHAM!  Creel takes a short nap.

Round three:  Powerhouse and the Adaptoid take turns tearing the Android
down to its component parts, as Rogue and the Absorbing Man do their best
to shake off the cobwebs.  As Rogue awakens, she takes on her natural skin
tones again, and Creel looks around for something more durable to absorb. 
Seeing as how the Android's materials didn't fare too well, he passes it over
and grabs a steel I-beam holding up the walls, instead.  

Round four:  The Adaptoid gives the Absorbing Man the once-over, and quickly
grows a wrecking ball and a poorly-designed skull.  Once again, thanks to
Loki's spell being the culprit, the transformation takes, and they have fun
remodeling the scenery.

Powerhouse takes on Rogue, but neither gains much of an advantage in a
puncheminnaface combat, as they're pretty evenly matched.

Round five:  Seeing as how nobody's really doing much, the Adaptoid and the
Absorbing Man switch dancing partners.  The Adaptoid attempts to absorb Rogue's
powers; just like with the Mimic years ago, this is a mistake.  Rogue is 
knocked for a loop, while the Adaptoid starts sparking and smoking and retreats
to the corner for an extended design overhaul.

The Absorbing Man uses Powerhouse for a punching bag for a while, until that
ominous glow forms in Powerhouse's eyes, and he intones:
"I now turn your power back upon you!"  (Nova #25, I believe.)

Ba-WHAM!  Powerhouse lets loose a torrent of concussive energy, which sends
steel fragments all over the room.  The unconscious Rogue has her costume
shredded *again*, but her inherent invulnerability keeps her alive; the 
Adaptoid is too busy babbling in the corner to notice; Powerhouse, exhausted
by the effort of blasting, passes out.

Round six:  With the Absorbing Man and the Awesome Android rubble, Gideon and
the Mimic street pizza and the Android epileptic, the arena is left with the
sleeping forms of Powerhouse and Rogue, who awaken at about the same time.

Rogue gets the upper hand on Powerhouse, and kisses him to absorb his powers --
with no noticeable effect!  Just as the Mimic's absorption abilities were 
temporarily shut down by the Adaptoid's efforts, Rogue's are temporarily down
and out.  Powerhouse looks on in mild surprise at the turn of events, as the 
last thing he'd have expected from the wildcat he'd been fighting was a smooch.

The two look at each other, then at the now-crunched arena, shrug, and go out
for a pizza.

>I'll let you think about it, and post my response later.

Over to you, David.  The above is off the top of my head, so I'm sure I'll be
crucified for gaps in power definitions/continuity/whatever.

Smiley-captioned for the humor-impaired, as always.

--
     jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu      \\              To KLH:
 "I don't know where you took   --=--      Love ya, Katya!
 me, but I didn't want to leave."   \\  have clue, will travel.
       ---------------------------------------------------