From: jemenake@zeus.calpoly.edu (Joe Emenaker)
Subject: A (new?) twist on LJBF
Organization: California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 02:37:32 GMT

I was trying to convey to my sister the horror that LJBF strikes in the
hearts of males one day. She felt, as I figure most women do, that it is a
NICE THING, that they're willing to be, at least, friends. "What's wrong
with being friends?" she asked. 

Now, I don't know if I'm speaking for the rest of the males here, but it
seems to me that the problem arises from the fact that only one party seems
to have to adjust. For example, Brad wants to be romanticly involved with
Janet. So, Janet conter-attacks with a LJBF. :-) Now, assuming that she
DOES want to be friends, she's basically asking that he do his part to make
the relationship be what SHE wants it to be... regardless of any other
feelings HE has to contend with. She intends to go right on drawing
happiness from this "friendship" while Brad will be constantly torn by the
fact that he's supressing the feelings that make him want more. Brad's the
only one left with any real burden here, it seems to me. So, to me, the
problem with LJBF is that it's kind of an unreasonable, if not selfish,
thing to ask: that the OTHER person alter THEIR desires to conform to
yours.

This is nothing really new. The thing my sister brought up reverses the
roles, though. "What about these 'guys who won't commit' to their
girlfriends who want marriage?", she pointed out. Damn good point, I think.
In that case, it's usually the woman who wants to make the relationship
something more and it's the GUY who is pleased as punch just to leave it as
it is... expecting the woman just to be done with these silly thoughts of
marriage.

It really opened my eyes. I guess it is just as crappy of a thing to do;
for a man to spurn his SO's desires for commitment. Anyway, I thought it
might help some of the netters see the other side of the coin.

Women, how would you feel if your SO didn't want to get married. "Let's
just be mates"... LJBM, as it were. What if he just said no and then just
dropped the issue, as if it was all your problem... to deal with those
feelings you had? Kinda shitty, huh? "Well, I can't change how I feel about
you. I feel the way I feel and I don't feel like marriage", he'd say. 

Guys, knowing the horrors of being LJBF'd, what's your thinking about your
SO wanting to get married? If it's okay to deny marriage, then aren't women
morally free to LJBF you to their heart's content? They're both cases where
one person wants to take the relationship further and the other says "Nope.
I'm nice and comfy riiiiiiigggghhhhht heeeeeerrrrreeee. <sigh>".

DISCLAIMER: All gender specific pronouns were used to coincide with the
statistical majority of actual cases, for the sake of familiarity to the
reader. The author aknowledges that there do exist cases where the one or
both of the genders of the participants are reversed. Any similarity to
sexist, homophobic products of a non-politically-correct, Euro-centric,
male-dominated, society, either living or dead, is purely coincidental.

-- 
Joe Emenaker - Sexual Engineer | "You will be assimilated." - Borg 
   jemenake@nike.calpoly.edu   | "Yes, but before that happens, can we ask 
   Pro-woman, anti-feminist    |  you some questions?" 
 (This is the .sig of the day) |                       - Jordy LaForge 
Newsgroups: soc.singles