HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: bait (was: Re: Malcolm X)
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 16:03:38 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <1992Dec15.161339.5709@umbc3.umbc.edu> potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>In article<3d-r3n_@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
>>!Peeve: A user that I was helping format her book last summer left me a
>>big tin of brownies, because her book is done now and just about to go 
>>to press.
>
>chris, wake up and smell the coffee [tm ann landers (or was it dear abby?)].
>this woman wants you. bad.
	I think I am gonna be sick. Lemme 'splain. First off, this women
looks almost exactly like my grandmother. Thus my crass assumption that
these were baked with only grandmotherly intentions. Second, she was most 
emphatic that I must share these with my roommate who also helped her a 
lot. This then begs the question, does she want us both at the same time, 
or separately? These are not things that my tender, young mind wants to
contemplate this early in the morning.

>peeve: that men don't bake goodies as a way of luring women.
Peeve: Foul temptresses who will stop at nothing to get their 
hands on my tender young flesh and contaminate my precious, bodily
fluids. It is too late for Drieux, but I will hold out against the
forces of darkness and orthopedic stockings!

-- 
The East Coast liberal is someone who wants to take away the right to own guns. 
And the conservative is someone who wants to keep the right to own guns.  In 
Alaska, a liberal is someone who carries a 9mm, .357 or something small like 
that. And a conservative is someone who carries a .41, .44 or .45. - Wayne Ross
From: egpv20@festival.ed.ac.uk (David Bowers)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The (future) King is separating! Lon may the (future) King be separated
Date: 15 Dec 92 15:11:27 GMT

egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
> In article <18107@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
> [Charles and Di untying the knot]
> 
> >Why can't they just get divorced like normal people so Charles can
> >marry some blonde horse and DeeDee can find a rich old American to
> >tote off to her Love Shack?
> 
> This is a mystery to me too as I thought old 'enery-the-eighth invented
> the Church of England
>
 
Ummm, well I was taught that old Henry Babes 8 (... just managed to
control the urge to Peeve about Henry Kelly and "Going for Gold" ...)
was a Catholic to the very end!!!

> 2.  to divorce or murder all his wives until he found one that gave him a
> son*, but still be entitled to go to heaven cos he was a paranoid
> megalomaniac who didn't have the sense to invent atheism instead.

I don't recall the divorce bit, I think it was annullment he was after.
I think he got one or two, but when the Pope said Ney (related Princess
Anne vocal/lookalike peeve) he decided to NOT recognize the papal bit.
This got H excommunicated... 

ObPeeve: Trying to spell these technical church words!

> 
> So why the hell are they kicking such a fuss up about royal divorce? 
> Enquiring minds want to know.  
>

My theory is to divert attention from what is happening in the real
world... like war, recession, the moral outrage of this 
newsgroup...

> *reputedly he had so much trouble with this because he caught syphilis
> from some scrubber he had been kicking around with and became either
> impotent or infertile, can't remember which
> 

Are I see you've been drinking with that Sun reporter again!

> Peeve;  defective, lager-pickled brain-cells
>

What more proof do you need.
 
> Babs

Dave.      :The benifits of a Catholic education?

--
David Bowers                         Dept. of Geology and Geophysics,
egpv20@ed.ac.uk                      Grant Institute,
                                     Kings Buildings,
                                     Edinburgh. UK
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.tasteless,alt.evil
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: net.stupidities
Keywords: idiots geeks losers
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 17:16:24 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.223402.26799@spectrum.xerox.com> dev@null writes:

>
>While I'm at it, there's a lot of ugly elitism against ethnic groups like "newbies." "Newbies" should correctly be called "chronologically challenged." I happen to be a newbie, and not chronologically endowed like the rest of you oppressive scum.
>

You're kidding!  You're a newbie?!?!  You came up with a witty, incisive
post like this and you're a goddam newbie?!?

You must have gotten help from your mommy.  I'm sure a newbie couldn't have
come up with such incredibly perceptive items as "DUH" and such all by his
litty-bitty self.  And to post a peeve to alt.tasteless AND alt.evil, instead
of doing the expected by just posting to peeves.  God, what a stroke of genius.
And I'm particularly impressed by you're ability to blithely ignore the 
<Return> key on your keeyboard.

Keep posting, we need the depth and wisdom that only those at null can 
provide.

>---
>"If I was a loser, I would have a .sig too!"

God!!  Another zinger.  Oh, the humanity! 

I hurt from laughing  so hard, really I do.

In awe and admiration,

Jenny G


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: this is great!
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 22:00:43 GMT

In <lis1k8INN20a@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff 
Miller) writes:


>dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis) writes:

>>During my infernal eight-month sojourn in St. Louis a few years back, I 
>>ended up working as a "live-in aide" for a ninety-four-year-old man who
>>had had two strokes;


>So much for the idea that old farts lose their sex drive!

Yeah, right.  I could have used that kind of money.  Actually, the strokes 
pretty much took the starch out of him, although he still tried to give money 
to his former fuckbuddy (I hid the checks), and he did enjoy those sponge baths
quite a bit...

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
From: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The dog ate my homework
Date: 14 Dec 92 14:37:07 GMT
Reply-To: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Organization: Edinburgh University

Quoting Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (Claudio.Terrorist) in article <Bz8zKG.7un@dcs.ed.ac.uk>:
>
>it is, however, fair to mention that it has been fixed Saturday.
>

Oh, that's just great.  I blew Sunday doing bugger all, and I've got to
work like a bastard now.  Murphy's Law is recursive.
  __                                _____
\/ o\ Paul Crowley pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk \\ //
/\__/ "I'm the boy without a soul."  \X/ 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: From Bad To Wort (Was: Tea time)
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 20:44:44 GMT

In article <ATAYLOR.92Dec14091042@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
>
>	Get JG to move in, she can show you how to fix that up.
>	First, throw out all that cinnamon, clove, fake-chocolate
>	stuff. Then put some decent hopped malt in. Boil for
                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^ 
>	just a little longer than 30 minutes and you've got
>	a mighty decent tea.
>

Peeve: Hopped malt!  I bet you use Goddam hamburger helper, too.

No, no, no.

First you steep the grains & malts for considerably longer than Booter has
to steep her tea (I usually let 'em steep for about an hour, then spend
another 15-20 minutes running boiled water thru 'em till they run clear).
*Then* you add the hops to the wort & boil up for another hour.  I've
never found any brand of pre-hopped malt that has the proper proportions.
I like to futz around my recipes a bit, adding a little extra brown sugar,
blowing off the amber malt extract and using something darker to add a
bit more kick, and so forth.

I don't use cake mixes either....

Jenny "So I'm a purist, so sue me" Gutbezahl
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Tea time
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 01:42:53 GMT

In article <18118@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
>>Peeve #1:  Every time I arrive at work in truly dire need of some tea, we're
>>out of Earl Grey.  However, we never run out of those crappy little
>>decaffeinated teas, like Cinnamon Apple Spice, Mint Medley or (AARGH!)
>>Red Zinger.
>
>Hey, I *like* red zinger.

Which just goes to prove that no one is perfect...

>>Peeve #2:  Those mornings when we do have Earl Grey tea, I go to pull the
>>bag out of the little envelope...and the string comes off of the teat bag.
>
>I say, this is in the running for Freudian Slip of the Year Award.
>
>Stay out of the bathroom when your wife is having her monthies, Don!
>It could get embarassing.

And what exactly does menstruation have to do with breasts, young lady?

BTW, I sometimes keep odd hours but I am _NOT_ a vampire!

>Peeve: Tea that has to be boiled and treated strangely. I went to a store
>and picked up some herb tea. The ingredients looked very tasty. It had
>cinnamon, clove, carob and other stuff. I happily purchased it and toted it
>home. It had to be boiled for 30 minutes.

You should've read the instructions.  You were supposed to smoke it, not
steep it in water...

  don "tea, not dea" baldwin
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random word .sig:
Bush heroin Quayle (potato-head) AK-47 marijuana cocaine hashish anarchy
NSA CIA FBI Nicaragua Sandanista Allende JFK conspiracy King Kennedy Iran
Iraq Hussein Jihad Contra Libya assassinate Executive Order treason BATF
civil unrest class war revolution Panama FEMA terrorist
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: shampton@jarthur.claremont.edu (Scott M Hampton)
Subject: Re: US defeat, again?
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 23:05:31 GMT

In article <Bz3yAw.Kps@vcd.hp.com> dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe) writes:
>
>There's currently a shakeup in the evening news here, with several
>"anchorpeople" losing their jobs due to poor ratings.  Heh.  Do people
>really watch the 5pm or 11pm news for personalities?  Apparently the
>networks think so, because rather than having someone blandly read the
>news, as they probably do in Albania, the news is a smiling, giggling
>affair where trivia and provinciality gets as much attention as a train wreck.

The news is not a smiling, giggling affair. The news *anchor-woman* is a
smiling, giggling anglo syphocant, whose silicone supplemented ample
acreages are a wonder and delight and in no way trivial. Alas, I have not
yet had an affair with her. I find her endearing way of smiling slightly
when reading about some tragedy to be the most erotic experience of the
evening, and I lust after her. In a deeply personal and caring sort of way,
of course. Were it not for this superb example of modern medical science I
would never watch a news program. It would be a mistake to call her a
'personality', as I think that she is more of a province with a couple of
nice peninsulas.
-- 

Scott M. Hampton             Woulffe            shampton@jarthur.claremont.edu
From: clc@festival.ed.ac.uk (claudio.terrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: re: cindy crawford (again)
Date: 12 Dec 92 16:37:45 GMT
Reply-To: clc@festival.ed.ac.uk (claudio.terrorist)
Organization: the removers of uppercase


is_d560@ceres (Bhogal L S) writes:

> Well I never thought I would get so much abuse just for asking a simple 
> question. 

Anyone reading this newsgroup for more than thirty seconds would expect
that. Take this as a free ObClue. All the other peevers will take this
as an ObPeeve.

I'd have a huge compunerdy rant, but I'll leave it for another time.
Before posting that I'll have to go to Peevacentre and buy some
asbestos underwear. For now, it will suffice to say that I'm forced
to read/post news from this machine, which, considering its service
record, will probably crash within five minutes.

--
C.T., who doesn't even have a proper .sig file here.
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:18512 alt.angst:4947
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst
Subject: Re: Fuck Christmas
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 17:38:23 GMT
 <BzCtC4.KMC@nic.umass.edu>
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00 beta rel2

In article <BzCtC4.KMC@nic.umass.edu>, Jenny Gutbezahl writes:

> Jenny "Still listening to my old Alternative Tentacles albums and fondly
> reminiscing" Gutbezahl

I have nothing pithy to add. I just like reading 'Gutbezahl'.
It is so optically close to 'Beelzebub' that I smirk every time I
see it.

No offense, Jenny. 

[And say hi to Satan for me, eh]

Dac
--
[Who used to have a post office box '666', but the bastards
changed it to '4666' during some pointless renumbering exercise]

dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
                    <Using ARN on an Amiga 4000. Yay!>
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Malcolm X
Date: 13 Dec 92 23:22:10 GMT
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
NNTP-Posting-Host: cathy.na.cs.yale.edu

Prompted by the discussion, I went to see the film Malcolm X.

For what it is, it is an excellent film.  Perhaps the best in its genre
since "Triumph of the Will".  It was very moving.  Even the short pieces of
genuine footage from the 1960s did not detract too much from the overall
effect.

But is there some kind of rule that any moving, romantic version of reality
will be found sadly lacking when compared to the facts?  If so, this would
be yet another instance of that rule.  Some events were completely falsified.
Others were warped beyond sense.

The movie was based on Malcolm X's autobiography as told to Alex Haley.
Reading the book gives the clearest picture of what was distorted in the
film, but the film itself contains contradictions.  For instance, one minute
it has Spike Lee's version with people acting all mournful and depressed
around the still-warm body, and immediately after, in a old and jerky (*)
film clip, the real people going completely ape as they run the body out to
an ambulance.

The character of the man was thoroughly misrepresented.  The person in the
film was not the cynical Malcolm X who once remarked that his wife was the
only woman he ever found who could be trusted as much as 75%, and that he had
told her that.  

Spike Lee was probably trying to make an accurate movie.  But he was by
nature too timid to do so.  The really astounding parts were all left out or
altered.  They would have detracted from the Big Picture he painted so well.

At least he did not stoop to being politically correct.  When under threat
near the end, Malcolm comes up with a large semiautomatic pistol at one
point, and a military-style semiauto rifle with a large magazine at another
point.

--
(*) Not jerky because of a low number of frames per second; jerky because
the person holding the camera was also running like a madman.

--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
 "We had the best organization of the black man in America.  But these
  niggers destroyed it." -- Malcolm X, the uncensored version
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: The Laundrette - More Than Meets The Eye
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 20:13:06 GMT

In <Bz7s3I.5E8@dscomsa.desy.de> poser@vxdsyc.desy.de (Till Poser  -  ZEUS OFFLINE) writes:

>|>(*) Supplementary peeve - how can anything be whiter than white?

>By visual enhancers, aka. UV converting dyes. White [tm] cloth will only
>relect most of the light in the visual spectrum, whiter than white [tm]
>cloth will also convert the ambient UV in sun light to visual frequencies
>and add that to the perceived luminosity. Try this with Black Light 
>illumination (in nostalgic discos, frinstance).

Hunters and SpecWar people know this.  They wash (if they wash) their
clothing/garments in special detergents and soaps and then they rinse
them MANY times to be sure.

I suppose there are others who wash similarly, too.
From: eddie@castle.ed.ac.uk (Eddie Corns)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The Unbearable Lightness of Being Invisible
Date: 15 Dec 92 18:56:06 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:

>So there, if you want it, is a wonderful way to make your day more
>enjoyable - torment pushy shop assistants. Whether it's asking an
>incompetent in an electrical store to fit a plug, or the guy in Tandy for a
>component you *know* doesn't exist, it's the ideal antidote to those shop
>assistants who attempt to harass you into buying.

After they say "Can I help you?" I just like to practice saying "No!" in such
a dismissive way that they just get embarassed and slink off.  But only when
I'm having a bad day of course after all even sales people are human aren't
they? (except the ones in Dixons of course).

Eddie

Bleah!
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst
From: harry@timesink.chi.il.us (Harold Platypus)
Subject: Re: Fuck Christmas
Organization: Big Bulging Buffalo Bladders -R- Us
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 07:55:27 GMT

In article <lir6bvINNjv5@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>(Harold Platypus) writes:
>>Drew should've gone to Midas instead of trying to save a few bucks,
>>the cheap bastard... I bet his insurance co. coughed up a big hairball.
>
>Drew has spent more time and money fixing what Midas has alledgedly
>repaired than I care to think about.  I haven't gone near those
>dickpimples for well over five years.
>
>I maintain my own cars, Harry, and not once has one of my street
>cars let me down.
>
>drew

Hmmm... does this mean (1) Drew intentionally maladjusted the brakes
on the family car in order to get the insurance money, or (2) that his
wife and kids normally drive around in a fucking dragster?
- Harry
From: pky@fmg.bt.co.uk (Pete Young)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Petty-minded notices
Date: 18 Dec 92 14:30:51 GMT
Reply-To: pky@fmg.bt.co.uk
Organization: British Telecom

There seems to be an outbreak, nay , an epidemic, of petty "Do this:
Don't do this" type notices in the building that we know and love as
``BT Bibb Way''. For instance I peeved a couple of weeks ago about the
bog-cleaners and their notices. Although owing to recent irregularities
in the mail/news gateway at UKC you still might not have read that
peeve. But I digress, and worse still, that's compunerdism.

The latest is even more mind-blowingly tedious: some self-appointed
guardian of public morals calling himself ``The tea club'' has been
pinning up badly-written copies of a notice in prominent places.

Said notice complains that a number of tea spoons, formely the property
of this person, have disappeared. 

Well of course they have. It's a perfectly normal occurrence for
tea-spoons to sprout wings, arms and legs or even vanish forever
throught some hole in the space time continuum. Pillock.

It's perfectly obvious that either the tea has wreaked its revenge or
the Klix coffee machine has devoured them, along with at least 34p of my
ill-gotten gains. 

!Peeve: Some comedian added a postit note to the notice which reads:

I've got the spoons!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Signed, Uri .

-- 
  ____________________________________________________________________
  Pete Young        	  pky@fmg.bt.co.uk        Phone +44 473 227151
 "Cast your bread upon the waters and you will get back... soggy bread"  
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.culture.electric-midget
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Just Like Cockroaches....(Was: Learn To spell Before You POST Your Ignoran)
Followup-To: alt.stupidity,alt.culture.electric-midget
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<ATAYLOR.92Dec16090128@gauss.nmsu.edu>
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 16:10:31 GMT

<In article <ATAYLOR.92Dec16090128@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
<<In article <143422@lll-winken.LLNL.GOV> 528010@llnl.gov (Mark Levinson) writes:
<<Help,
<  WEE KAN HELP U...JusT TRUST MEEEEE.


<<I have been using Emacs for about 1.5 years now and I think it is the coolest software in
<existence.

	Well, that's pretty pathetic...but it isn't as annoying
	as this:


<   dO U POSTE 2 ALT.EMACS.RELIGION?? mEbE u shUUD.

	Just when we thought the electric-midget infestation
	was finally under control, they pop up again.

ObPeeve: there's probably been a run on lime Jello at the local
	 stores, too, but I didn't notice such an obvious clue.

<   <Lately I have been logging into my Sun WS from home and using emacs in character
<      mode. 


<   Dont' WAIST Ur tyME WITH THaT, bUY UN eLeCtRiC mIJJET, THEY ARE MORE
<   FUN!!!!!!!!

	Don't do it, Levinson, electric-midgets are dangerous; they
	aren't toys.

<<    Mark Levinson                               Internet:    markl@llnl.gov
<<    Lawrence Livermore National Lab             PacBell Net: (510) 422-1794


<   oHJHHHHH! dO YOU WURK NeAR Enny U-RAniuMM? eYE THEEENK U NEED
<   2 OR 3 OR MoRE ElEcTrIc mIJJETS!

	See what I mean? Not a toy at all.

<   (ps. eYE AM NOT A MIJJET, EyE AM A huMAN KaLLED nOSY AND My 
<    sPell cHEKER IS broKEN!)


ObPeeve: forgeries that are technically brilliant but 
	 clumsily typed.