From: sg@tredysvr.Tredydev.Unisys.COM (Susanne Gilliam)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: RE: Entertaining a 4 month old
Date: 20 Aug 92 12:50:52 GMT
Organization: Unisys Corporation, Tredyffrin, PA


  I replied personally to the mom that was looking for ideas on how to
entertain her 4 month old.  She felt the information might be helpful to
others, and suggested that I post it, so I am doing so.  
 
						Susanne Gilliam
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 As another mom of an Elizabeth (now 2, and her big brother, 5.5), I missed
 your first posting, and will therefore follow up this one.  As you are
 obviously noticing, kids differ a lot in how much they like to be entertained,
 held, sleep, stare into space, etc.  It sounds like you have one that is
 highly alert (some babies, even at 4 months, are kind of day dreamy, which
 is nice if you want to get something done, but not as much fun at play time,
 in my opinion).  I've got a few things you might want to think about.
   First and foremost is that many people seem to me to have a natural "sense"
 that is dominant.  For example, my kids are "visual", which means they
 put far more weight on visual input than on any other.  It isn't good or bad
 but it helps me understand how to help them.  For example, we found when
 my son was young (probably around 7 or 8 months) he always cried when he
 finished a bottle, regardless of whether he was really hungry or not. Later
 we found that when he got to the end of the bottle, you could slip out
 the bottle nipple and pop in a pacifier, and he would continue to be very
 content **IF** you continued to hold the bottle in front of his face in
 "feeding" position.  He was giving far more "credit" to what his eyes saw
 than he was to the fact that his mouth and throat didn't feel any milk going
 thru them.
   Some kids are more "audio", and will listen with total attention and
 concentration more often than they will do for something they see.  Some
 are into their sense of touch, some just need to move, etc, etc, etc.  If
 you think about it, by 4 months, you can often identify which sense your
 child is putting the most weight on.
   The "primary" sense will provide both the best entertainment value AND
 the highest probability for over stimulation.  For example, a highly
 visual child *may* HATE a baby swing, because the disturbance in their
 visual field may outweigh the generally pleasant sensation of swinging.
 A movement oriented child may love the swing, and HATE staring at the
 shadow of moving curtains on a blank wall, which would entertain my
 visually oriented twosome for 15 or 20 minutes or more.  Many of the
 things you mention are visually oriented, and some are movement oriented
 (e.g. the swing).  However, none are oriented towards the ears -- have you
 tried soft music much?  I'm not necessarily talking about the same wind up
 music box over and over, but a small, inexpensive tape player, set near
 where the baby is, with classical, jazz, pop, or whatever might give you
 a break.  I can tell noise is a problem, but I think you could set this
 up without problem with a small player.                    
   Kids that are movement oriented sometimes have the hardest time, because
 they pretty much have to wait the longest to be able to participate in their
 choosen "activity" -- sight and hearing and touch work fine from birth,
 but movement is pretty uncoordinated, and it takes many long months before
 they can actually move themselves around.  However, there are some classic
 solutions for movement oriented types -- baby swings, of course (I used them
 with both mine, so no flames from me!), plus walkers (there are safety
 issues you should think over, but I never had a problem with the limited
 use my kids made of the one we got as a gift.  My daughter in particular
 loved ours.  Both were first put in it around 3 or 3.5 months; ours has a
 high back for support for babies that can't sit up well), and a little
 later possibly, a "Jonny Jump Up", which can be suspended from a doorway
 and allows the child to sort of bounce on their legs.  They also are kind
 of in disfavor as somewhat dangerous (plus some people thought they encouraged
 the child to walk earlier, which they don't, and neither do walkers), but
 there is no doubt that for some kids, their entertainment value is tremendous.
 My daughter is much more active than my son, and she LOVED the jumper.  We
 don't own one, but day care does; they didn't over use it, but it sure was
 a nice alternative for some times.
   There are generally other less obvious alternatives for such a child. For
 example, water beds cause a constant "feedback" motion to even uncoordinated
 infant movements.  If you think this type of movement would be pleasant for
 your baby, you can buy a type of infant seat that is basically a sort of
 wire used to form the base, and an upsidedown "U" shape that supports a
 cloth seat.  These can be used even with tiny infants, and move nicely
 with even just a kick.  Last I saw, they were widely available here, but
 kind of expensive (maybe $40), but I'm sure you could find them for less
 2nd hand, or on sale.  Not only does it move, but it puts the baby in a
 more upright position, which is a nice change of view for a lot of kids.
   Infant seats do much the same thing, and some of them can even be rocked
 by baby or parent, but they generally take a much stronger kicking action.
 We have the Century infant only car seat model that has a removable baby
 seat/carrier, and both my kids could make it rock on a flat surface when
 they were past the really tiny stage -- your daughter might be big enough
 to do that now; you could give it a try.
   My kids both liked sitting propped up in a full sized beanbag chair. 
 There have been a lot of scare type articles about the infant bean bag
 chairs, because some babies died when left to sleep on their stomachs on
 them, but facing outward when awake, I'm not aware of any problems.  This
 of course, often works best for kids that are visually oriented, because
 it gives them an exciting new view, but it also can work well on kids that
 (1) like to be carried, because it gives them a "contact pressure" on
 their back and sides, and (2) kids that are learning to use their hands,
 because it is much easier to use them sitting propped up than lying on
 your back with your hands in the air.
   Having made that point, I'll go back and suggest "baby gyms" where
 the baby does lie on their back and reach for things overhead; they
 are designed for use with a crib or playpen or any other make-do corner
 where you can find something sturdy to suspend the bar from.  It is 
 somewhat different from the toy bar you already have, since motion is
 much more important; they often have a clear "ball" with little balls inside,
 that roll around when the baby bats at the outer ball, plus things that
 make noise, provide visual changes, etc.  Both my kids liked ours a lot,
 and my son received one as a gift that was all wooden, and made lovely
 sounds (I find the plastic rattling sounds of the usual ones to be pretty
 annoying after awhile.)  They both liked to kick at it as much as they
 liked to hit, so if you have one, move the baby so she can do each at
 different times.
   One pretty common thing that works for some babies, but not others, is
 the classic crib mobiles.  They usually have both a music box and the
 moving objects.  Many of them have figures that can be detached, and you
 can attach other objects, if boredom seems to be reducing the value of
 the mobile.  Again, both my kids would enjoy one for 20 minutes or so;
 long enough for a shower, or lunch, or whatever.
   I'm not putting in much about visually oriented babies because they
 often entertain themselves at that age just with looking around, if they
 have a fairly long attention span.  However, you might try putting some
 new objects on the baby gym; anything that can't harm the baby should
 she happen to yank the thing off.  I used those plastic connecting links
 to do this, and I rooted thru my kitchen and bathroom drawers for stuff
 to put up.  Anything from the box from film (both my kids liked them; I
 guess it is the bright yellow!) thru a toothbrush might be interesting.
 Don't overlook stuff like junk mail, wrapping paper, anything shiny
 (e.g. a foil TV dinner tray), etc.  
   Objects to handle also can be a source of amusement to get you by,
 particularly while you are working in the kitchen, since there is
 a huge array of boring-to-you-but-facinating-for-a-baby stuff there.
 A baby in an infant seat on the floor, with a pan lid and a meat
 baster *may* be set for 10 or 15 minutes.  This grows more and more
 true as the baby gets bigger and can move around a bit; chasing a 
 plastic (empty) Pepsi bottle was *great* entertainment for mine when
 they were first crawling.
   On carriers, I just wanted to put in a plug for my favorite once they
 are past the Snuggli stage -- a Sara's Ride hip carrier.  It positions
 the baby on your hip, where most people instinctively put an older infant
 or toddler, and is easy to get the child in and out of (VERY important
 when they get to the up/down/up/down/up/down stage!).  It is just cloth
 and 2 straps, so it is easy to carry with you.  I love mine.  Your daughter
 is plenty old enough to use one now.  I still use mine very nearly daily
 for my daughter; she is about 25 pounds now, and it really helps reduce
 the strain on my arms, plus leaves my hands free to do other things (like
 hold the 5 year old's hand while carrying a bag of groceries, etc).  It
 positions the child on your front, up close, where you can talk, sing,
 see their expressions, etc.
   Well, I've got to get back to work.  Hope you find some of this helpful.
 It does sound like you are in a really restrictive physical environment
 which increases the challenges for you.  It will certainly be more
 difficult when she is a bit older and noisier and getting around more; I
 hope your situation is resolved before then.  I'm glad your husband
 places his marriage/family above his job, but it sounds really rough
 on all of you. 
  
 						Susanne Gilliam