From: scott@athena.mit.edu (Scott D Bradburn)
Subject: Re: The Book of Halflings
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 21:53:00 GMT

|> "Oh most certainly.  Most Halflings have sandy blond hair, blue eyes, stand
|> about three to three and a half feet tall, and weigh about 90 pounds.  I
|> fit that description almost exactly.  Well, I will admit that I am slightly
|> lighter than most Halflings my size, but I attribute that to my lack of
|> funds as of late.

[section amputated]

|> 
|> "Hey, you have some really interesting gadgets there.  What kind of mage are
|> you?"

"I'm an ex-illusionist.  As I was growing up, I always wanted to be a wizard,
so I went to illusionist school like all the other magic-hopefuls.  I proved
quite adept, and was doing well when I asked to learn a fireball spell.  All
the other children laughed, and I was told that 'Gnomes can't cast invocation
spells.'  I was immediately disillusioned."  At that the gnome starts laughing
uncontrollably.  "I really love a good joke.  Well, anyway, I quit school and
researched invocation magic.  I found a rather interesting document, in an old
library in the ruined city of Telaristrae.  Here, let me show you."

The gnome pulls off his hat, once again, rumages around inside, and pulls
out a stack of parchment.  Searching through he pulls out one sheet.  "This
document was circulated to all the major magic schools about 600 years ago,"
said Firgun as he decides to leave his hat laying on the table beside him.

The document is partially water damaged.  Only a small portion of what was once
written is legible, and is written in a rather arcane form of the common language.

     "... damage caused by Gnomish experaments and tests with the more
      destructive schools of magic, we are starting a new policy.  Gnomes
      should only be taught magic as illusion specialists.  Most importantly,
      invocation spells should not be taught, as those were used by the gnomes
      who accidentally burned down ..."

Nothing more on the page is legible.

Placing the document back in his pile, he stuffs the stack of parchment into
a pouch inside his cloak.  "Anyway, I used the knowledge of invocation magic
I gained during my research and began practicing for the fireball spell I'd
always wanted.  I almost have it perfected now, I've just got to figure out
how to aim it properly.  I thought I had that, but the last test fire was
slightly off.  But I promised to pay for the damage to the city hall, and
the mayor's hair will grow back in no time.  All in all it was a successful
experament.  Allow me to demonstrate."

As Firgun stands up in his chair to demonstrate his fireball, he notices
that E'Karam isn't paying attention to him any more.  In fact, as Firgun tries
to get E'Karam's attention, the halfling stands up and walks away.  "Hey,
what about our book?" says Firgun.  Thinking to himself, "Well, I better write
down what I did learn.  Maybe I can find a new subject to finish it with."

Firgun starts writing on the notepad, and then notices that the first twelve
pages are wet.  "I wonder who spilled something all over my notebook," thought
Firgun.  Flipping past the wet pages, he starts writing again.

"Halfling:  Physical:  purple skin; prehensile double moustache, not normally
purple;  exceptionally tall three to three and a half feet; bald; sandy
blonde hair; 90 pounds average weight, less if low on money (due to weight
of money in pockets?);
            Attitude: generally stay at home, smoking pipes, cooking, and
farming;"

"Barmaid, another cider please, and could you dry my table a little, it seems
someone spilled something on my table."

After his new drink arrives, and the spill is cleaned off his table, E'Karam
returns.

"Ah, you're back.  Where'd you run off to all of a sudden?  Nevermind, it
was probably personal.  Where was I?  Oh, yes, my magic.  In addition to
being an accomplished illusionist and self-taught invoker, I'm an alchemist,
or, rather, was an alchemist, I've lost the way to my laboratory, though.
I made many useful magical mixtures and rather innovative too.  I developed
Sneezing Powder of Disappearance myself.  It has a much more efficient
distribution system then normal Dust of Disappearance.  Plus the sneezing
also prevents people from losing track of where the invisible person is.
Plus, as you can see from all the nifty items I've shown you like this
pencil and notepad, I make quite a few innovative devices as well.  Speaking
of alchemy, could I have some of your foot hair?  Hair from the foot of a
halfling is quite useful for making potions of agility.  I'd even pay you
for it, how's that?"


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Scott B.