HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rbw@fico.uucp
Subject: Re: Snake jokes puh-lease!
Reply-To: rbw%fico.uucp@apple.com (Randy Wong)
Organization: The Fair, Isaac Companies, San Rafael, California
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 92 19:09:54 GMT

In article <harris.714719568@drvax3> harris@drvax3.msfc.nasa.gov (Mitch Harris) writes:
>Could y'all please post any snake jokes? Thanks!
>
>--
>Mitch Harris                           |  New Technology Inc.
>(205)-544-2846                         |  700 Boulevard South, #401
>drvax3!harris@freedom.msfc.nasa.gov    |  Huntsville, AL  35802
>

     Okay, here's one I heard:

     "Hissssssssssssssssssssssss,  hissssssssss hisssss hissssssss.
Hisssssssssssssssss  pssssssssssssss  pssssssssss fssssssssssss.
Hissssssssss hissssss hisssssssssssssss hisssssssssssssss.

Hisssssssssssss hisssssssssss.  Hissssssssssssssssssssssss."


Ha, ha!  I laughed so hard, I swallowed a frog!



********************************************                   
* Randy Wong                               *
*                                          *
* rbw%fico.uucp@apple.com                  *
* !uunet!well!fico!rbw                     *
* c/o Fair, Isaac and Company              *
* 120 North Redwood Drive                  *
* San Rafael, CA  94903-1996               *
********************************************
From: bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 28 Aug 92 21:25:59 GMT
Reply-To: bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.

In article <1992Aug28.164326.18511@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>,
marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
|>
|>"Jesus is hanging on the cross and down below at the bottom
|>of the hill, Peter is mourning the loss of their saviour and leader.
|>Suddenly he hears a faint voice calling to him..."Peter....Peter"
|>and he turns and starts to run up the hill toward Jesus on the cross.
|>Before he can get to the top the Roman soldiers shew him away and,
|>dejected, he goes back down the hill."
|>
|>
|>I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
|>a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
|>willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
|>but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
|>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
|>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.
|>
                
I don't get it.  Where's the joke?

(BTW...most humor comes from the suffering of others)

ObJoke:  Hey, guys! Guess what Woody Allen's next movie is
         going to be called!  <click-click> *BANG* thud
From: hhll@milton.u.washington.edu (Steven Hodas)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Woody and Mia
Keywords: need some jokes
Date: 28 Aug 92 01:25:25 GMT
Organization: University of Washington

When does Woody Allen think kids should start dating?

The Soon-Yi the better.
From: kyrie@coos.dartmouth.edu (Thomas S. Marlowe)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Where are you whimp?
Date: 2 Sep 92 02:24:20 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH

marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:


> 
>Listen you whimp, if you're going to send threats at least leave
>your mailing address, or are you too scared?

>            rshaw@serum.kodak.com 
>                known as
>            nobody.Kodak.COM

Same fucker threatened me.

Oh well, whatever it takes for him to get a hard-on.

Thrill yourself, Rshaw.


TSM
--
"Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice, and that when
they fail to do this they become dangerously structured dams that block
the flow of social progress." -  Martin Luther King, Jr
------------------>Thomas.S.Marlowe@Dartmouth.edu<-----------------------
From: riepe@ifwm11.ifw.uni-hannover.de (Michael Riepe)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Confuscious says... (the final one)
Date: 28 Aug 92 04:27:32 GMT
Organization: University of Hannover, Germany - IFW
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

Confucius says: Illegal instruction - core dumped.

--
 Michael Riepe                         <riepe@ifwm11.ifw.uni-hannover.de>

     IIII  FFFFFFFF  WWWW           WWWW             Univerit"at Hannover
    IIII  FFFF       WWWW   WWW   WWWW    Institut f"ur Fertigungstechnik
   IIII  FFFFFFF     WWWW WWWWW WWWW       und spanende Werkzeugmaschinen
  IIII  FFFF         WWWWWW WWWWWW                   Schlosswender Str. 5
 IIII  FFFF          WWWW   WWWW              W-3000 Hannover 1 (Germany)
--
 So long, and thanks for all the fish...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jhands@eng.clemson.edu (Matt Hands)
Subject: Re: Confuscious says.......
Reply-To: jhands@eng.clemson.edu
Organization: College of Engineering, Clemson Univ.
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 18:54:43 GMT



Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rlw@atlanta.dg.com (Richard Wright)
Subject: Re: Redneck humor
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 92 15:11:25 GMT
Organization: Data General Corp. Performance Services, Atlanta, GA

In article <1992Aug30.232146.5429@usenet.ins.cwru.edu>, rxv8@po.CWRU.Edu (Radha Venkat) writes:
   ... stuff sugically removed with a pair of pliers ... 
|> 
|> (I got those from a native of southeast Texas...)
|>
	Come on, guys. Give credit where credit is due. These are from
	Jeff Foxworthy's book "You Might Be a Redneck...". Shame on you.
	And if you havn't read it, you should! Jeff could use the money...
	I used to work for his father and Jeff is funnier than shit.

OBJokes: (from the same book)

   If your wife's hair has ever been involved in a ceiling fan accident,
   you might be a redneck.

   If your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her mouth before
   telling the State Patrolman to 'kiss her ass', you might be a redneck.

   If your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs, you
   might be a redneck.

-- 
*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*
* "Listen, three eyes," he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get   *
*  stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."             *
*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*
* Richard L. Wright, Jr             * Disclaimer:                       *
* Data General Corporation          *  The views expressed here are the *
* System Evaluation and Performance *  One True Way to Enlightenment.   *
*   Analysis Center (SEPAC)         *  Everyone shares my views, they   *
* Norcross, Georgia, USA  30092     *  just don't realize it yet.       *
* (404) 448-6072                    *      Riiiiiight.                  *
*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*
From: forda@gtephx.UUCP (Andrew Ford @ AGCS, Phoenix, Arizona)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: You're Sooo Ugly Jokes
Date: 27 Aug 92 18:01:35 GMT
Organization: gte

In article <1992Aug22.000135.4666@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu>, ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Eric Huppertz) writes:
> 
> I could stick yo' head in some dough, and make me some go-RILLA cookies!
> 
> I could put a piece of tracin' paper over yo' head, and draw me
> a MOOSE face!
> 
You're uglier than the south end of a north-bound horse!

You're so ugly, the doctor who delivered you didn't know which
end to slap!


-- 
"25 States allow anyone to buy a gun, strap it on, and walk down the street with
no permit of any kind: some say it's crazy.  However, 4 out of 5 US murders are 
committed in the other half of the country: so who is crazy?"   -  Andrew Ford
gtephx!forda@enuucp.eas.asu.edu  OR  !uunet!samsung!romed!enuucp!gtephx!forda
From: berne@nova1.stanford.edu (Jean-Francois Berne)
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Organization: Stanford University
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 18:38:34 GMT

>In article <1992Aug24.225851.27578@smartstar.com> syspb@smartstar.com (Paul) writes:
>>Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?
>>From chasing parked cars.

Among all the polish jokes I read in this news groups, ALL of them are employed
in France by replacing "polish" by "belgium".
JF
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: comptec90012@camins.camosun.bc.ca
Subject: <None>
Organization: Camosun College
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 17:04:11 GMT



Hi, could someone out there please E-Mail me the Star Trek : The Next
Generation drinking game list...???

I know it's been posted here a thousand times, but now an
internetless friend want a copy and I never kept one.

Thanks a lot, and remember:  all "ME TOO" replies are to be sent to the
following address:

		gillbates@microhard.wa.usa.com/dev/null


Thanks again,

comptec90012@camins.camosun.bc.ca


comptec90012@camins.camosun.bc.ca      |  <include std_disclaim.h>
Greg W Burnham Victoria, B.C., Canada! |
________________________________________________________________________________
     'Do what I do, hate back!'

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN)
Subject: Re: Surprised answering machine message
Summary: hmm
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Keywords: surprised? no.
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 05:22:00 GMT

In article <izumi.714959288@garfield.catt.ncsu.edu>, izumi@garfield.catt.n
csu.edu (James Charlie P.) writes...

>  
>'hello? HeLLOOOO? Is anybody there? HeLLLOOOOOOO!!! Could you- I can barely
>hear you! Could you speak up some? HELLLLOOOOOO!!!!!!'
>(don't do this too long, or they'll hang up and try again)
>Well, then turn off the static, and say,
>' Oh well! blah blah blah' aren't at the phone right now,...
>...
>VERY infuriating. imagine how ther person on other side feels when they're
>yelling in the phone that whole first minute or so, then realizes it's a
>message.
>izumi
> 

	My friend Dmitri tried this.   He got a lot of wrong numbers for one
guy, a Mr. `U. Fucking Bastard'.

	BTW, this gag originally came from a movie:  "Nothing in Common,"
with Tom Hanks, Jackie Gleason, and Eve Marie Saint.  It was funny the 
first time, at least.

				dylyn

	"I heard they were dismembering people down the street--
				Those Joneses!  Ya gotta love `em!
	 Various disguises are regrettable but necessary,
				if you want to make it  through the day"
	---NoMeansNo, "Everyday I Start to Ooze"
 		  dylyn (aka, d prosser) == S7356911@UCSVAX.UCS.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mschenk@research.ptt.nl (Mike Schenk +31 70 33 23926)
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Organization: PTT Research
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 19:22:16 GMT

In article <3354@dozo.and.nl>, jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
> In article <1992Aug28.154306.17938@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
> 
> [ dog joke deleted ... ]
> 
> |What kind of idiot are you? Look at the group title: soc.culture.polish
> |this has nothing to do with dog jokes. So why don't you post this crap
> |in rec.humor.
> 
> What kind of idiot are _you_? All this whining of yours doesn't belong in
> rec.humor. You've been spoiling all the fun in here for more than a week
> now. Please leave this group alone and stop cross posting yourself. 
> Didn't you notice: people already apologized for not noticing the followup: line.
> Now, stick your head where it belongs and keep your crap out of here.
> 
> Sheeesh ... some people ...
> 
> Jos aka jos@and.nl


You are in bad mood. Did your wrong arm get stuck between the bed 
or did you eat spruitjes?


    Mike
From: mak@spuddy.uucp (Mark Kellaway)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: .ASCII PICS.
Date: 27 Aug 92 15:00:36 GMT
Organization: Spuddy's Public Usenet Domain

In article <gill.20.714750574@cc.und.ac.za> gill@cc.und.ac.za (John Gill) writes:
>In article <1992Aug23.012318@IASTATE.EDU> dhanwada@IASTATE.EDU (Chalapathy Dhanwada) writes:
>>From: dhanwada@IASTATE.EDU (Chalapathy Dhanwada)
>>Subject: Re: .ASCII PICS.
>>Date: Sun, 23 Aug 1992 06:23:18 GMT
>>In article <1992Aug22.195205.16190@klaava.Helsinki.FI>,
>>pemakine@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Pekka Makinen) writes:
>>> 
>>>  In <92235.113757ISSJXS@BYUVM.BITNET> 
>>>  ISSJXS@BYUVM.BITNET writes : 
>>> ->
>>> ->   I'm looking for pictures in ascii code.
>>> ->If you have any please send me a copy.
>>> 
>>>        OK, for starters this is an ASCII picture of a dot:  .
>>> 
>>Next, of a Smiling face:   :)
>
>
>And not a face not smiling:   :(

And of a minute tic-tac-toe board #
-- 
*       /^\      *    mak -  mak@spuddy.uucp ...!uknet!axion!spuddy!mak
*      /\|/\     *    Remember wherever you go there you are !
*     /-<o>-\    *    Meeeeow ! Call Spud the Cat on > +44 203 638780 <
*    /__/|\__\   *    for free Usenet access in the uk
From: che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Wanted, Quayle song
Date: 24 Aug 92 09:38:07 +1000
Organization: Computer Centre, Monash University, Australia

Can anyone post the words to "I spent the war in Indiana"?

Cheers
Dave
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: anton@gagme.chi.il.us (Andrzej Borowiec)
Subject: Re: American joke (Re: Polack joke ?)
Originator: anton@gagme
Organization: Gagme Public Access UNIX, Chicago, Illinois.
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 07:28:12 GMT

In article <1992Sep1.013827.8172@nsisrv.gsfc.nasa.gov> slater@tpocc.gsfc.nasa.gov (Don Slater) writes:
>You forgot the 10 scientists from the EPA to do an environmental impact study.
>


Worry not. As soon as we get the $455.950 research grant, my 10 person team and
I will make sure no one is omitted. And nothing. Especially the family values
aspect of replacing the burnt out light bulbs in modern American society
And what about those light bulbs on Mars?
There. I think I have to expand my project and ask for a couple more
millions $ next year.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: forbush@vxdesy.desy.de
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Organization: (DESY, Hamburg, Germany)
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 21:06:02 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.164326.18511@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>, marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
> 
> "Jesus is hanging on the cross and down below at the bottom
> of the hill, Peter is mourning the loss of their saviour and leader.
> Suddenly he hears a faint voice calling to him..."Peter....Peter"
> and he turns and starts to run up the hill toward Jesus on the cross.
> Before he can get to the top the Roman soldiers shew him away and,
> dejected, he goes back down the hill."

Where's the punchline?

> 
> 
> I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
> a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
> willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
> but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
> degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
> Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.
> 

Of course its not funny, you forgot the punchline!!!!

-- 
 Lookit, I've done it their way this far and now it's my turn. I'm
 my own handler. Any questions? Ask me ... There's not going to be any more
 handler stories because I'm the handler ... I'm Doctor Spin.
       -- Vice President Dan Quayle responding to press reports
          his aides having to, in effect, 'potty train' him.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
From: tig@jlc.mv.com (Tig Stone)
Subject: Re: Net.idiots
Organization: John Leslie Consulting, Milford NH
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 16:59:17 GMT

In article <15192@umd5.umd.edu> walrus@bessel.umd.edu (Grig Larson) writes:
>
>Here at Punkadyne Laboratories and Archives ("Where 'Get a life' takes on a
>whole new meaning..."), we have been researching the net.idiots for over
>a year.  Many of them could be cured simply by the following file.  Then
>again, with some of them it's a wonder they can type at all.
>

I think that this should be in news.announce.newusers!  It's great.

Tig Stone
(tig@jlc.mv.com)
From: kjs@gvgspd.GVG.TEK.COM (Kevin J. Shuholm)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Date: 28 Aug 92 20:02:39 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Grass Valley Group, Grass Valley  CA

Could somebody please repost the joke?  I missed it and I'd probably get
MUCH more enjoyment out of the flame wars if I knew the joke (or
offsense, insult...) :-)
From: bramble@bcarhab.bnr.ca (Daniel Zlatin)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 31 Aug 92 21:58:21 GMT
Organization: Bell-Northern Research

Humble apologies to Mr. Zlatin regarding my last post...

The From: line should have read:
From: bramble@bcarhab.bnr.ca (Tim Bramble)

instead of:
From: bramble@bcarhab.bnr.ca (Daniel Zlatin)

I am myself and no other!  
-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Bramble                Any opinions expressed above are my own and do not
                           necessarily represent those of BNR.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.sf.misc
From: ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect)
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 00:15:46 GMT

In article <1992Sep2.220455.7841@zip.eecs.umich.edu> charles@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Charles Jacob Cohen) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF THIS DOESN'T STOP, IM GOING TO START THE WORST CASCADE EVER.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHILE EATING THIS SLOP, I SEWED THE FIRST BROCADE BEAVER.
>>>>>>>>>>>>BILE FITTING RIG STOP, LIE SPEWED THIRST LIVER !!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>IF YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE, AT LEAST DELIVER...
>>>>>>>>>>WHO MAY I ATTRIBUTE TO THIS BEASTLY SLIVER?
>>>>>>>>>TO SPAY A LUTE IN A GREASY RIVER
>>>>>>>>DAMN CASCADERS THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER
>>>>>>>I WILL NOT CASCADE; NOPE, NO, NEVER
>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A TRAIN?
>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, IN THE RAIN?
>>>>R2-D2 ON THE BRAIN?
>>>This cascade is damn insane!
>>And it's really getting lame!
>Can't we include just one name?
IM AMONG IDIOTS, OBVIOUSLY SOME OF US DONT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
LOWERCASE AND UPPERCASE, I WISH I HAD BIGGER FONTS SO THEY COULD HEAR ME!!
From: dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong)
Subject: Re: Groucho Marx?!
Organization: Wang Labs, Lowell MA, USA
Date: Fri, 04 Sep 92 01:42:37 GMT

dwelch@mpd.tandem.com (Dan Welch) writes:

>In article <37586@sdcc12.ucsd.edu> kprashan@sdcc3.ucsd.edu (hyderabadi) writes:
>>
>>Which brings me to my point. Is there any collection of his quotes
>>lying anywhere in some old dirs. If not, why not start one.. with
>>

>My favorite Groucho quote came from YBYL, when he had a housewife on who
>said she had seven children.  Groucho said, "Seven?  That many?"  She
>blushed, and said, "Well, I love my husband."  Groucho came back with,
>"I love my cigar, too, but I take it out once in a while."

All the more reason to re-ask the question: Is there a collection?
I hope so!
-- 
Dave Bushong, Wang Laboratories, Inc.
Project Leader, OCR products
Internet: dbushong@wang.com
Xref: sparky rec.humor:27740 alt.censorship:7349 soc.culture.polish:2311
From: ts2a+@andrew.cmu.edu (Thomas Omar Smith)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.censorship,soc.culture.polish
Subject: Re: BB (was Re: Polack joke)
Date: 3 Sep 92 05:51:37 GMT
	<1992Sep2.174112.17012@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

>In article <2529@bsu-cs.bsu.edu> joemays@bsu-cs.bsu.edu (Joseph F.
Mays) writes
>>In article <1992Sep1.193027.4913@unislc.uucp> miket@unislc.UUCP
(Michael Thomp
son,B2C04,4560) writes:
>>>I'm not sure what a TP44 is; however, a BB (Ball Bearing) gun is a very
>>>low powered air rifle.  Like I said before a BB is very small, ~one eighth
>
>>Even this might give a false impression of exactly how low-powered a BB gun
>
>     Wait!  Didn't this thread start out as a joke about BBs in
>a batch of cookies?  What I want to know is why the second
>poster didn't know what BBs were, but was familiar with the
>phrase 'jerking off.'
>
>-???????

Because jerking off is a universal concept.

					Tom the non hacker
					Kemp in 96!
					"If patriotism is the last refuge
					of scoundrels,  Then environmentalism
					is the current refuge of totalitarians."
					Bob Jackson
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com ("Johnson")
Subject: Re: American joke (Re: Polack joke ?)
Reply-To: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Wireless Enterprises, Schaumburg, IL
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 21:41:08 GMT

In article <johnson-270892150846@158.184.3.170>, johnson@ssvax1.ssd.loral.com (Christopher Johnson) writes:
=)I remember many years ago MAD magazine ran "American Jokes told in Poland".
=)
Q:  How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  One!  Hahahahahaha....
-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  "Johnson"                              | "                               " |
|  johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com |               -- Marcel Marceau   |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  Disclaimer:  It's just my Tourette's Syndrome acting up again.             |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kaustine@nbrwh42.bnr.ca (Mathew Kaustinen)
Subject: Re: Tom Swifties
Organization: Northern Telecom, Bramalea, Canada
Date: Tue, 01 Sep 92 19:02:19 GMT

- I am _NOT_ an official spokesperson for Northern Telecom -
Mathew Kaustinen
-- 
-- The views expressed are my own ... --
Mathew A. Kaustinen          |      ESN:   (333) 2066
Field Service Engineering    |      PHONE: 416-452-2066
Northern Telecom, Bramalee   |      PAGER: 416-378-3246
From: jaye@intermec.com (Jaye Jarchow x2735)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: WHERE'S THE HUMOR??
Date: 27 Aug 92 22:58:03 GMT
Reply-To: jaye@intermec.com ()
Distribution: world
Organization: Intermec Corporation, Everett, Wa.


	What the hell is it with rec.humor lately?

I've read about 25-30 articles now.  So far, I've seen debates on
athiests vs agnostics, scathing replys to polish jokes, and now,
a running debate on whether guns kill.  And not one joke!  Has the
main charter for this newsgroup changed lately?  C'mon you guys,
take your beefing to the appropriate area and respect the original
intent for rec.humor.


(Oh, shit.  Now I have to come up with a joke)

OBJOKE:

What's brown and black and looks good on a lawyer?

A doberman.
From: rxv8@po.CWRU.Edu (Radha Venkat)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Hiya
Date: 4 Sep 1992 02:03:14 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: thor.ins.cwru.edu


I was wondering if anyone could help me. I have a very funny
Physics teacher who loves humor files from this board. Does
anyone have anything that would be of interest to a undergrad
professor of Physics? (Having connection with the subject, of
course!) If so, I would be much indebted to you if you could
mail them to me at rxv8@po.cwru.edu.

	Thanks in advance -- I love this group. :)


		Radha Venkat
-- 
Radha A. Venkat			   Case Western Reserve University
rxv8@po.cwru.edu				   Cleveland, Ohio
"Keep a clear head and always carry a lightbulb." - Bob Dylan
From: naren@tekig5.pen.tek.com (Naren Bala)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Murphy
Date: 27 Aug 92 23:00:42 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Beaverton,  OR.

Excerpts from Arthur Bloch's book "Murphy Law and other reasons why things go 
wrong.                               
--------------------------------------------------------------------
MURPHY'S LAW
If anything can go wrong, it will.

Corollaries
1. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
2. Everything takes longer than you think.
3. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will
cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
4. If you perceive that there are N possible ways in which a procedure can go 
wrong, and circumvent these, a N+1th way will promptly develop.
5. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
6. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
7. Every solution breeds new problems.
8. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
9. Nature always side with the hidden flaw.
10. Mother Nature is a bitch.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish