From: Gordon.Riddell@prg.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: An Irish lullaby
Date: 12 Oct 92 10:28:41 GMT
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

In <1992Oct9.103154.24843@cas.org> Scott Park says : 

|Peeve (I could read a book but its easier to ask) question:  How did
|the Irish conflict get divided on religious lines?  Am I correct in
|assuming the Protestants are (generally) middle and upper classers
|associated with England, and the Catholics are the working class?
|Catholics more left wing, Protestants more right?  What is the
|main Protestant church in Ireland? Lutheran?


Well they say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing ...


Well you see there was a King called Henry VIII and he wanted to get divorced
but this was against his religion. So he said to the Pope "Sod you, matey"
and started his own Church (of England). And him being a King he thought he
make himself its head (or Defender of the Faith). And to this day the Queen
of England still carries that title [though no longer Empress of India, I
believe]. So England became a non-Catholic country. 

Now the fiendish Pope thought "Bugger this". And he threatened England
with many years in Purgatory (tm). And it so happened that this Pope chappy
had many nice followers in la belle France, Spain and Ireland all of which
at that time were independent countries.

Anyway henry and his many descendants in their capacity as Defenders of the
Faith [faith in this context not to be confused with any religious ideal
unless one feels that the right to behead your wife 'cos she doesn't sire
any man child for you, is a religion] decide that the French, Spanish and
Irish have to be taught a lesson (ie done to death). 

Fortunately for Spain Good Queen Bess sinks their Armada and they are beaten
and only 350 years later do the English (lager lout battalion) invade. But
the Irish well who cares about them? They made the mistake of positioning
their island far from Rome but beside England. SO England invade a few
time. During the Interregnum the English Revolutionaries under Oliver
Cromwell do a particularly "fine" job. The land in the south is 
taken over by suddenly enriched English aristocrats. In the North (Ulster)
the land is given to Good Old Scottish Peasant Stock. Now these Scots had
come through the Scottish Reformation, a much more ideological affair and
were thus more strongly calvinist and Presbyterian. And so more anti-catholic
(and hence anti-Irish).


Note there were no class divisions to speak of at the time as Class hadn't
been invented yet.


The Protestants saw all their rights and privileges being bound up with what
was now the UK (the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland).

But in the 19th century (calmly missing out at least 150 years now) the 
struggle for Irish Home Rule was not wholly religiously divided. Dublin got a
devolved Parliament. Then in the early 20th century the struggle moved to
a struggle for complete independence. Now this threatened Protestant
Supremacy in the North. To crush the fight for Home Rule (now meaning
independence) the British Government conceded Partition in 1921 with the
proviso that there would be referenda in the border areas to allow further
bits of the Six Counties (tm) to join the Irish Free State. These 
referenda never took place and so there are still many areas in which the
Nationaist (and mainly Catholic) population is in the majority.


Government in Nothern Ireland has been dominated by a majority of Protestants
(though of course  many Catholics would prefer to stay in the UK as well).

The present Troubles (tm) arose after many decades of relative calm in the 
North. In the mid sixties the catholic population began to protest about their
lack of civil rights a la civil rights movement in the USA. They marched
and were beaten by the almost wholly Protestant police (a right and privilege
protected by the Crown). Some turned to the gun in retaliation.

The British Army were sent in by the UK socialist Government to keep the 
peace as an independent force which it was felt the nationalists could
trust more than the local Police. A few rounds by the Parachute
Regiment in the early Seventies (1972?) into an unarmed crowd relieved
the Army of their independent role and the war took off.


And there we have it, a completely unbiased account of the war in Ireland.
You read it here first.


Gordon