From: gavigan@gn.ecn.purdue.edu (Ryan P. Gavigan)
Subject: Gaver-sensei film review: Streamline 3x3 Eyes I  (long)
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 92 09:33:37 GMT



    Today brought to you Slick Willie 50, for when you really want to try
and slip one by the fans and get clean away with it.



Gaver-sensei's review: Streamline's 3x3 Eyes I

    Let my first words before I delve into the horror that is a Streamline
    production be...

      THANK THE HEAVENS FOR DAVE FLEMING, THE SV II CHICAGO....For whom all
    fans will thank for the true version of Sazan Eyes...subtitled.


    We now have the result of a Carl dub when the show is something he 
didn't really supposedly want.  (Word is Kodansha "nudged" him into doing
it.)


WARNING   WARNING   WARNING   WARNING   WARNING   WARNING   WARNING

    Unfortunately it's true, the horror that is Rebecca Forstadt, aka 
    "Reba West" does indeed play Pai.  (Guess she didn't have enough work 
    doing those stupid Saban productions for Nickelodeon.)



3x3 (Sazan) Eyes part 1

Even from the title, Carl gives us a stupid Hollywoodism to "make it cool",
"Altered State" compared to the preferred (IMHO) SVII translation "A Changed
Life".


Okay, children, now that your my friend's, let's have a little lesson in
pronunciation, can you say PRONUNCIATION.  Good I knew you could
------

One thing that is REALLY STUPID that the adaptors and ADR writers do is when
    they write and rewrite dialogue, they WATCH IT SILENT!! They don't even
    listen to the original even to get pronunciation correct.  Thus we have 
    the seemingly horrid renderings, where with the original spoken names,
    there is either NO syllable is stressed, or the syllable that IS stressed
    isn't what gets dubbed, therefor we have

foo-JEE  rather than foo-jee or FOO-jee (most times in the original there is
                             no stress, though once the "fu" in Fuji is)

yo-ga-KEE-sha rather than yo-GE-kee-sha  

ta-Coowie rather than ta-coo-hi  (with no legit stress and a VERY recognizable
                                  "h" in "hi"

Kaiyun Wang rather than Kaiyanwan (WHAT THE HELL, WANG?!)
       ^^^^pronounced with a       ^^^^^^^^^^^if anyone gets this reference,
           short "a" sound                    you should be hospitalized 8-)


Voices
------

      Don't know what I can say, you've heard them all before, and you'll
    undoubtedly hear them again.


    Yakumo:   It HAS to be Kerrigan Mahan no matter what the credits do or
      don't say, or at least it's another pseudonym.  Anyone who watched any
      Harmony Gold Carl dubs know this voice.  IT's too bad he can't act.

    Pai:      Yes, it's Rebecca Forstadt, alias "Reba West", the one voice
      everyone loves to hate.Might not have been as annoying had she 
      never done any of the previous known voice work, or just maybe she
      wouldn't have been so annoying if SHE COULD ACT!  She can only play
      one type of character, and she can't even do THAT when seemingly it
      would be the ONE role fitting for her.  One octave and 50 acting 
      lessons short.

    Sanjiyan: Pretty tough making a living since that Invid Regis gig 
      ended, huh.  Seriously though, without the overly contrived, meta-
      physical techno-Robotecho-mumbo-jumbo-babble and the totally erroneus
      stylization of the character(see the translation section), it would
      have been okay 8-)

    Ling Ling:Okay, better than average (for THIS video), but even the other
      voice actors do a better job in delievering their lines.

    Professor Fuji:     This was the best voice in the video, though they
      gave him a couple of really annoying lines to say [see translation...]

    Miss Huan:Half of her lines she sounded like she was trying to hold 
      back some unintelligible accent.  (Anyone who has seen the Seishun 
      Shitemasu Prod. "Nadia:Laputa II" Grandis voice) She slips in a couple
      of lines like the said voice in a really cruddy (for a "professional")
      voice.

    Chou:     Gee, once again, it's Michael McConnohie.  Can anyone seriously
      give me a Streamline production which he ISNT in?



TRANSLATION
-----------
I DARE somebody to show me where the words "country bumpkin" show up in the
    original script.....
-----------

In my critique of Streamline's Castle of Cagliostro, I had about 1 1/2 pages
of notes which I took for the entire 100 min film.  For just this 30 minute
OVA, I used up 4 1/2 pages of crappy translation critiques...Better put
on your snorkel 'cuz we're going down....

For the life of me I can't tell what the hell Carl is trying to do, half
the story, he adds 200% more dialogue to spoonfeed the plot to mindless 6
year olds, and then the one actual "narration" Yakumo makes in the entire 
show (the couple of lines at the very beginning, and are actually IMPORTANT)
is not even there.

Not only that, but all of the dialogue that gives Pai her "airheadedness"
    are totally removed or unknowingly changed.  Especially when she 
    addressed a demon as Mister Monster.


Here are some examples (many) of the various "Carlisms", first with examples
of the Carl "Let's really thoroughly overexplain and simplify unnecessary
plot devices as to make the films dramatic pace totally disintegrate" 
devices----followed by Carl "Let's throw away the original humor and put in
stupid inane jokes that only someone with the IQ of a cheese sandwich would
enjoy" devices.


First are examples of Carl-gag-me-with-a-spoon-fed-plot-speak

Lines between Pai and Yakumo inside "Culture Shock", first the original, 
    then in Carl-speak.

Pai:Very Scientific talk.  
Yakumo:Does she really understand Japanese?..She's filthy..Hasn't she heard 
    of a bathtub?
Carlspeak---
Pai:I've been alone for most of my life  [ed.  Since when does Pai speak in
                                                 complete sentences?]
Yakumo:You may not believe this but I don't find that that terribly 
    surprising. By the way you've picked up the language you're obviously 
    smarter than you look. By the way, where can I find a dress like that?
(^^^^^^^^GIVE ME A SMEGGING BREAK^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^)


Narration (in the letter) of Prof Fuji
Original---
    Long ago, the became fascinated with humans, so, when they found a means
    of doing so, the Sanjiyan took upon themselves the short lifespans of
    humans.  Right now it looks like Pai is the last of the Sanjiyan.
Carlspeak---
    In an attempt to overcome their genetic limitations, the Sanjiyan learned
    how to interbreed with their human cousins.  While the seeds of their 
    race were prolonged, their individual life spans were reduced and now
    the last of their race wants to become a member of the human family,
    wants it more than anything.  
      {Duh, which way did he go, George? which way did he go?}

Sanjiyan defeating the dimension shifting demons on the rooftop
Original---
Sanjiyan:I didn't "eat" your soul.  I only merged it with my own.  If I die,
    you die.  If I become human, you too will become human once more.  That
    is how I saved you in Shinjuku and now thta your body cannot die, I 
    won't need to do so again.  We are now one.......What's the point in 
    having a zombie if he can't handle something like this himself?
Carlspeak---(They couldn't even get the Sanjiyan's speaking TONE and STYLE 
    right, Carl gives it a netherworldly regal megadecibel voice, while the
    original is an arrogant and soft spoken [in terms of volume] persona.)

Sanjiyan:Both aspects of my being exist within this vessel.  As for the 
    disposition of your sould, I merged it with my own.  From the time of
    our first meeting in Tokyo I have granted you the protection of my 
    spirit.  I am you and you are me, joined for eternity.  We are one body
    and one soul.  See the gift I have given you.  You are immune to injury.
    When I become human, your sould shall be released, but if I die, so will
    you.  [That last segment replacing the "zombie" line, one of the best
    lines from the original.]


A small example of a Carl explaining part of the plot before it's supposed 
to:  Pai, Ling Ling, and Yakumo have just entered the Huan house.

Pai:  Pai feels something.
Pai(Carl version): The statue is calling to me.


Now for some of the other kind, the insipid Carl throwaway joke replacements
or just plain changing the dialogue all together.


[Scene when producing the "remains" of Fuji-sensei. With the two co-workers]
original-
1:She says He's a professor?
2:Yakumo's father was famous, wasn't he?
Carlspeak-
1:There IS a resemblance.
2:I never met the man but he does have a nice smile.


After Yakumo gets shot and falls down the stairs
Original---
    Ouch, that hurts
Carlspeak---
    OW, hey, is there a doctor in the house?
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  I SH*T YOU NOT!, its there.

Ling Ling explaining to Miss Huan just what was "going on"
Original---
    It's the "Statue of Humanity", but we really don't know much about it.
Carlspeak---
    They men who took it were willing to throw me out of a third story
    window when I caught them so as ugly as it is it must be pretty valuable.


When Ling Ling opens the protective "wards".
Original---
    They're a bargain in sets of 10, and they are easy to use.
Carlspeak---
    Dont be embarrassed, I can arrange monthly payments.


After the three escape Chou after the "ward" incident
Original---
Pai:  You said you don't believe in monsters, but you had 
LingLing:That was business too! Business!
Carlspeak---
Pai:So That's how they raise kids in the big city.
LingLing:It is if you live in Hong Kong.


First arrving in HK, Yakumo staring at his reflection
Original---
    What the hell is this mark?  It's a real pain.
Carlspeak---
    It looks like this writing isn't going away! I got rid of the dress and
    now I need makeup.


Sohkai having just thrown Yakumo through the building wall.
Original---
    Get out of here, Sanjiyan, didn't you say I should fight on my own..
Carlspeak---
    I can't fight them alone, you gotta help me, I thought you had special
    powers.
(I can't think of an example of changing the dialogue any more completely 
 than in this one.)


As far as editing goes, the only editing was done to remove the japanese 
credits from the picture in a way like Fist of the North Star, I assume
becuase that it is more recent, they had the capability to digitally remove
them and put the evil english credits on.  By the way, the script was 
written by one of the voice actors in the show, enough said..


Now that I've gotten through all that horrid translation junk, I guess
I had better give Gaver-sensei's opinion of this video 8-).

Gaver-sensei has nothing to say but, nobody should EVER buy, rent, look at
    strangely, but maybe snicker at, the Streamline version of 3x3 Eyes.  It
    is by far the worst abomination of ANYTHING Carl has ever done, even 
    including Castle of Cagliostro (see Gaver-sensei's Castle C review).
    On a grading scale, 3x3 Eyes would score a G-. (Had to come up with 
    something worse than F.)  This work nearly makes Captain Harlock and 
    the Queen of 1000 years look decent.


Get the picture? 



Ryan "Gaver-sensei does do good reviews, wait for UY2's" Gavigan
gavigan@gn.ecn.purdue.edu