From: garrett@Ingres.COM (WE'RE ONLY HERE BECAUSE WE'RE NOT ALL HERE)
Subject: Re: The Repackaging of Dan Quayle
Summary: Go farther!  
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 21 Nov 92 03:47:45 GMT

In article <20NOV92192935@devl.fnal.gov>, glass@devl.fnal.gov                                         writes...
>[Further Discussion of The Committee to Repackage Dan Quayle]
> 
>     We can start by placing ads in the "Women Seeking Men" personal
>classifieds, something along the lines of "SF, Marilyn-type, seeking her
>Dan..." and "Stunning Bombshell wants Dan Quayle look-alike...."  These
>ads are fake, of course, but they serve to plant the subliminal notion
>that Dan-ness is desirable.

I like this. It's sneeky, but who would stupid enough to believe it?
> 
>     Gossip columns need to be fed Dan Quayle tidbits:  "Is it true that
>_The Prime Minister of Belize_ is going to drop by ex-veep _Dan Quayle_
>for a tete-a-tete during his vist next month?"  Again, the truth doesn't
>matter, it's the subliminal impression that lasts. 

We need to go further with this. Think bigger. How about "The Danster 
defeats Space Nazis!" or "Dannikins declares war on Ear Wax!" Remember, the
story is going to apply to our poster boy.
> 
>     Next we need a movie, perhaps "Mr. Peacock Goes to Washington,"
>starring a D.Q. look-alike.  Coming from a crusading newspaper family in
>a down-home midwestern state, Mr. Peacock does battle with the cynical
>forces of evil in our nation's capital.

You're on the right track, but perhaps something a little more exciting.
How about a Disney film (not the new rated R ones)? Dannikins could lead 
a revival of black and WASP, er...I mean, white films, complete with laugh-
tracks. I GOT IT! A re-make of "Lost in Space" It's perfect. The Danster
is already an expert in astrology, I mean, astronomy, anyway.
	I can see it now. 

     When we last saw our super-hero, he was about to do
battle with the evil-Mediaist-Elitist.

	[cut to profile of the Danster, surveying his the alien planet
	in his own vice-presidential way]

 Our Hero leaps gracefully from his spacecraft (that looks just like
a customized Winnebago), wearing his one-piece, silver, spandex suit, complete
with booties, onto the pink-alien, hostile planet of Feminista.
	His adoring, white-bread family looks at him from the spaceship in 
awe. He smiles at them confidently. "Remember, there is nothing that a 
good defense cannot beat a better offense," he says (his chin jutted out.
His family sighs). "That's why I'm going to do battle with them rather than
wait for them to come to us. If we don't succeed, then we run the risk
of failure."(His family sighs again)
	Just then, one of the fierce Liberalits leaps from behind
a boulder and strikes our hero on the back (just like those Liberalits)
with a rolled-up quota bill. But our hero has not begun to fight.
	He quickly gets back on his feet (his hair still showing that
blown-dry look) and strikes the beast right between the eyes with a pointed
veto. The beast is stunned!
	But before our hero can finish it off, several other 
deadly Mediaist-Elitists jump out from behind their facade of impartiality.
Our hero is surrounded!

   [Here are a few scenes from the next episode of "Dan In SPAAAAACCCE!"]

"Ugg...Umph...PPHHTTT!"

"Do what you want to the girl, but leave me alone."

"What do you mean, 'You want to have my baby'?"

"Oh, Dan! You're such a...a...a MAN!"

"Be off vermin, or I'll throttle you."

[music fade out to the tune of 'Get Smart']

>-- Michael Glass             |  No flames, please.  I'm fuelish.
>   glass@adcalc.fnal.gov     |