From: sasnla@shadow.unx.sas.com (Nancy Agnew)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Thought for the day for Oct 14
Date: 15 Oct 92 20:32:11 GMT
Organization: SAS Institute Inc.
Originator: sasnla@shadow.unx.sas.com


In article <m0mfM0y-0000EhC@khijol.uucp>, anonasar@khijol.UUCP (Anonymous poster for alt.sexual.abuse.recovery) writes:
>
>          You rarely get offended and  hurt  when  someone  disagrees
>          with  the  things  you are sure about.  The areas where you
>          are not certain, where you  feel  insecure  are  those  you
>          often feel the most need to defend.
>
>          Do not think that  to  be  loved  you  must  have  all  the
>          answers,  that  you  must never be afraid or look weak, for
>          those of you who are willing to  be  vulnerable  will  find
>          more love coming to you.
>
>                                -- Sanaya Roman,
>                                  "Personal Power Through Awareness"

about that first paragraph....I must disagree.  One of the strongest
memories I have, one that still brings up anger and hurt in me, was
when I was in 4th grade.  We were singing a song ("Land of the Silver
Birch" for the detail oriented), and I had worked out how to play it
with chords and all on the piano.  When we finished the teacher said
that the song was in the key of F major because it had one flat in
the key signature.  I (politely, I thought) said, no, it is in the
key of d minor -- the relative minor to F.  She insisted that she was
correct.

The bitch yelled at me for contradicting her, glared at me, and told
me never to do that again.

The f***ing song IS in a minor key -- whichever one you want to transpose
it to (I had played it in d minor -- one of my favorites) -- I had 
known the difference between major and minor since I was in first grade.
I was absolutely certain and sure of my facts.

Maybe this isn't the kind of thing that quote is talking about -- maybe
my uncertainty came from knowing that the authority figure was wrong
and wouldn't hesitate to shame me for being careful of my facts.  I was
certainly hurt and can still feel it to this day.  (talk about overly
sensitive!)

When I was a teacher, lo those many years ago, I always gave my students
a first day talk about expectations....including the fact that when
anyone was writing at the board (math classes, you know), either another
student or myself, it would be possible to make a mistake -- what 
with either being nervous, or having the perspective be different, or
what have you.  I told them that when that happened we needed to work
together to make sure the stuff on the blackboard showed the correct
response/way/proof/theorem/... -- to be polite about it, but to point
out the mistake so we could fix it.  Whether it was a student or the
teacher.  The kids nearly fell out of their chairs with shock (every
year, each new batch) -- that a teacher could admit that she might
make a mistake....  guess I learned something worthwhile from that
teacher.  

see y'all
NLA
-- 
Nancy Agnew                         sasnla@unx.sas.com
SAS Institute Inc,  SAS Campus Dr,  Cary NC 27513-2414
My company's opinions are not likely mine, and vice versa.