Newsgroups: bit.listserv.test
Date:         Thu, 1 Oct 1992 13:48:00 -05
Comments:     Warning -- original Sender: tag was SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM
From:         Dana Rollins <ROLLIDE@AUDUCADM.DUC.AUBURN.EDU>
Subject:      PRO BUS
Comments: To: Multiple recipients of list SBRHYM-L <SBRHYM-L@SBCCVM.BITNET>

Hello dear friends.  I'm here to talk about that great class of
Americans, the Bus Drivers.

Now don't let this sappy music or the flag waving behind me
get you all worked up and weepy.  Instead, let my words stir
your patriotic souls.

The Bus Drivers, Friends, are The Backbone of this Great
Nation.  They were there at Jamestown, and they'll be there
when we terraform Mars, because that's what The Bus Drivers
are about: overblown, expensive projects where we all get to
go kill somebody or blow somethin' up!  Just good folks. Like
you an' me!

I remember when my daddy fought in the big war (as Mojo used
to say); he got his legs blowed off.  And if it weren't for
The Bus Drivers, he'd be floppin around on the floor night
an' day.  Now, I know some people in this country like a good
flop now and then, but let me tell you how it is where I live:
not around here you don't.  We have got Zero Tolerance for
floppin'.  This is your Driver.  This is your Driver on a Bus.
Any questions?

Let's put Bus Driving Back in School where it belongs.  It's
an American tradition, and it'll do the kids some good!  Give
'em some exercise.  Ever tried to run away from a bus as it
bears down on you in a narrow hallway?  Believe me, it keeps
you fit!  We had Bus Driving in school every mornin' before
class when I was a kid.  If it's good enough for Bus Drivers
it's good enough for me!

We're gonna make an amendment to the Constitution making it
a federal offense to burn a Bus.  And we're also going to go
around shooting all those people who are thinking thoughts
which are on our Bad Thoughts List.  And those folks out there
who think they can get by without pulling their weight? Pow!
All those people who Aren't Like Us;  they're dead, baby,
they're history.  Stay with us!  Stick around!  Catch the show.

There's a growing feeling in America of more group Bus Driver
Togetherness.  We believe every Bus Driver has a Right to Drive.
There have been rumors that we may allow Bus Drivers to be
gutted like pigs during the first trimester.  Not so!  We are
Pro-Bus and we're gonna stay Pro-Bus!  We believe that Family
Values are best served on a Bus and that's why we need The Bus
Drivers.

We believe that The Bus Drivers can work best with College
Tax Credits of up to $27.43 which they can use to make a down
payment on a piece of cat puke or maybe a used hanky.  And we
have shown that America needs a strong Military Bus Fleet.  My
fellow Americans, the Route War is over, and We Won.  Let's all
gloat about it for a moment.  Ahhhh.

And Speaking of Tax credits, I just have one thing to say to all
those Cab Drivers in Congress:  Read My Lips, No New Fare Increases!

Friends, we are standing on the brink of the greatest commute
mankind has ever known.  I hope you'll join us in our New Bus Order
and VOTE Bus Drivers for November!


You've Been A Great Audience!
Thank You And Good Night!

Merciful Lee Dickens
Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU