From: an7384@anon.penet.fi
Subject: MUD Conference Report
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: soc.culture.indian
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 14:45:19 GMT

X-Anon-To:soc.culture.indian

It is customary in many scientific fields for a participant in a conference to
write a summation of the meeting so that absent colleagues who need the info
could be briefed on the events.  While the MUD conference was far from an
enlightening meeting, and SCI is even further from a scientific forum, I will
nevertheless review the events of the conference.


                        MUD-SLINGING CONFERENCE

The MUD conference was held in room 202 of the inn in the After Five bulletin
board on Sunday January 10, 9:00 PM CST.
The participants were: Coretta (Deepak Bose, UMN), Vampire (Shubu, U Wisc.)
Nowhere_man (Partha,Rutgers), NImmala (???, Emory), debchat (Chatterjee,
UKansas), bala (balaji kannan, UA), Samit (Banerjee, USC), gandhiji (Fafat,
USC), Nobody (Sundara Pandiam, of SCT fame), edcrick (UMN) [or so they claimed]

The  conference began in a very uncharacteristically Indian fashion of most
of the participants arriving at 9:00 or very soon thereafter.  At that point
order departed and the typical chaos of an Indian function ensued.  When most
of the participants gathered the idiotic banter began with gandhiji threatening
   to kick debchat's ass in a distinctively violent manner.  The passive resista
   nceteaching of the Mahatma were completely lost on his namesake, who said not
   hing
to lead one to believe that he was at all a peaceful fellow. Gandhiji also led
the chorus that urged his fellow SCIans to kick the unsuspecting rear end of a
pontificating debchat. Nimmala seemed to take over from there threatening
debchat physically and berating him verbally. Nimmala went to the extent of
lampooning debchat for having made the anonymous posts that implicated a
hapless Mustafa and threatened to plunge SCI into unmitigated chaos.

Vampire continuously pleaded for decorum at this conference, but Mr.
Robert and his rules of order were prominent in their absence.  Adding to
the din was Coretta who was abusive and offensive throughout the
session.  Fortunately the participants were quite used to him, and his rude
gestures were largely ignored. In the din that ensued even the routine
introductions could not be completed which was just as well perhaps since
the pressures of an identity crisis never bothered the partcipants.

The conference was interrupted many times by the obtuse pablum of an unwelcome
participant Nimmala (actual identity unknown),who was boorish and obnoxious
every time he said something. Efforts to silence him by threats and acts of
violence by Vampire and edcrick were fruitless.  Some participants believed
that the uncouth manner in which Nimmala behaved could only have been
duplicated by a disguised George Chacko, but this is only speculation. Much
to the amazement of the participants, Nimmala and debchat exchanged physical
blows which culminated in thundering kicks to each others behind.

Much of the first part of the conference was wasted by the exchange of banter
and insults among the participants.  This was absolutely unproductive and
debchat threatened several times to leave. He was persuaded to stay by
Vampire and samit, at which point he lapsed into a recital of the Baghvad
Gita or the New Testament. The origins of his lapse into a pseudo-religious
mode could not be traced since he was frequently drowned out by the noise
caused by a bellicose Gandhiji, a inane and irreverent Nimmala and
a frightfully obnoxious Deepak Bose.

The only issue on the agenda was brought forth by debchat.  He was interrupted
several times and was very hesitant to present his data, despite requests from
samit, vampire, and edcrick. When he finally began revealing his plan, he did so
   in a very obscure manner by posing as some evangelist trying to get his messa
   ge to his flock.  He brought up the subject of Mustafa Ibrahim (absent from t
   he
conference) and his ways on SCI which debchat deemed improper.  Without showing
a single control, he referred to bits of incoherent data which he claimed that
he had been presenting to the "authorities" about Ibrahim.  The authorities
were never specified, but debchat may be collaborating with the local Lawrence
police, the CIA, the FBI and NATO to bring the fugitive Ibrahim to justice.  It
   was widely believed that debchat plans to stage his version of the Nurnberg
trials to accuse and convict Ibrahim of flame-war crimes.  debchat may also plan
   to single- handedly crumble the MSA, the PLO, and every organization even
remotely connected with Islam. Shams Hassan is reported to be next on his hit
list.  Debchat however did not reveal the bulk of his modus operandii probably
fearing that subservise elements loyal to Mustafa may have infiltrated
the meeting and would report back on his plans to Asim Mughal's donkey.
That such a fear was without substance was lost on the increasingly
paranoid debchat who seemed to have been sent reeling by accusations
of impropriety and un-SCIan like behavior in his dealings with Mustafa.

That debchat had reached his neurotic end point seemed evident when he
accused a very restrained balaji of being an IPSG agent and a Communist
turncoat to boot. In other communications, he even insisted that Gandhiji
 was either Chacko or Mustafa, cleverly disguised. Needless to say that the
man-of-peace was deeply troubled by such henious accusations and promptly
proceeded to land a resounding left foot on debchats unsuspecting behind.
This seemed to signal a free for all with Nimmala (having returned from a
temporary banishment to the cooler) complaining of having being spitted on
completely unprovoked by a hostile edcrick. Deepak Bose joined the mayhem by
targetting Nimmala's private parts with a left footer that seemed to land
where intended. Gandhiji rolled up his dhoti and entered this rapidly
deteriorating street fight and the spectacle continued until Nimmala withdrew
and remained silent for the rest of the meeting.

Despite requests for him to explicitly state his data and future experiments,
debchat refused and stalked out of the conference in a huff.  He apparrently
took umbrage at the fact that all of the participants did not fanatically
support his ideas.  Great minds have always suffered the indignity of a lack
of understanding by the lesser intellects, to poorly quote Einstein.  In
debchat's case, this is unlikely to be what happened.

That was the only coherent topic in all of the conference.  After debchat left
any hope of an agenda disappeared. All the participants waved good bye and left
hopefully chastened by this display of Indian camaraderie. No one proposed
an encore performance any time soon and the over-riding consensus seemed to
be one of disappointment and the need to restrict access at future meetings
to Nimmala, Deepak Bose, Gandhiji copy cats and debchat wanna-bes.

The conference was several times interrupted by uninvited, non-SCIers entering
the room.  They were all asked politely to leave, which they did.  It may have
met with little objection however, if Julie, one of the uninvited persons, had
stayed.  Perhaps then there would have been fewer lunatic ravings, more order,
and the amusement of watching gandhiji pick up a chick. Nowhere_man it
seems developed a certain fixation for Zombie who he claimed reminded
him of Chumki back home.

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