HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: orc@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons)
Subject: Re: grumble
Organization: Department of Atomic Text Units
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 18:07:58 GMT

In article <C0pprJ.GL0@newcastle.ac.uk> J.W.Harley@newcastle.ac.uk (Jon Harley) writes:
|orc@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons) writes:
|>an2839@anon.penet.fi (Archer) writes:
[On whether soc.bi regulars react upon meeting each other face-to-face]
|>  Oh, it's a disaster; it turns out we all can't stand each other,
|>so we all throw things at each other, then quickly find excuses to
|>leave quickly.
|
|Oh, I don't know... you were in a bit of a hurry to leave last time *I*
|saw you. [To describe the scene graphically would _delight_ the gossips of
|soc.bi so I won't :-)]

   Hurry?

   Ah, this must be some new definition of the word hurry I was
previously unaware of :-)

   I'll have to add it to my vocabulary.


                 ____  "Who's certain that the gossips on soc.bi will
   david parsons \bi/   be able to fabricate a story that's almost as
                  \/    (ahem) interesting as the truth."
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: miket@hermes.tcs.com (Michael Turner nmscore Assoc.)
Subject: Re: Purity
Organization: Teknekron Communications Inc.
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 21:12:54 GMT

[Graydon]
	Mike, why does disagreeing with you about a very small subset
	of social tactics and a (probably larger) subset of rules about
	appropriate language use make me obtuse?
[Turner]
	When someone asks "what are you", or, perhaps, "what is your
	sexual orientation", and you answer "a people", with a rather
	long hidden agenda for choosing that answer (an agenda that you
	finally supplied, thank you), it's safe to say that you are
	being obtuse.

[Graydon]
	Guilty!
[Turner]
	Not so fast!  I think I can get a plea-bargain for you for some
	of the other definitions.  They are even less complimentary,
	but they would at least absolve you of deceptive intent.

[Graydon]
	I had thought the discussion was about the theoretical instances of
	that sort of question, not how personally to asnwer.
[Turner]
	Well, you're either lying now, or you were lying in your original
	post, in which you claimed useful personal experience with this
	answer.

[Graydon]
	If I was trying to provide someone with that information, I'd have
	to qualify it all to hell.
[Turner]
	Tough shit.  I had to do just that, yesterday.  It was uncom-
	fortable, because I felt like a lame dork laying the truth out
	that way, but since nice people were asking, it felt OK in the
	end.  Had they not been nice about it, I would simply have had
	nothing more to do with them -- though we probably wouldn't
	have gotten as far as that question had they not been nice people.

[Graydon]
	I've no sexual experience with other men; not adverse to the
	idea, but women are more appealing aesthetically.
[Turner]
	Aesthetics, schmaesthetics -- we're talking about lust here,
	Graydon.

[Graydon]
	Emotionally responses are about the same, except that I've (so
	far) only had 'loved the Other above all things' reactions to
	women.
[Turner]
	About the same except when they are radically different.  Gotcha.

[Graydon]
	Presently entangled, quite delightfully, with someone even more
	vanilla than self.
[Turner]
	Not the flavor I would have guessed, but it's your tongue.
---
Michael Turner
miket@tcs.com
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: michael@tfs.com (Your message will cost the net hundreds if not thousands of dollars to send everywhere.)
Subject: Re: Bi-wariness
Organization: TRW Financial Systems
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 00:02:11 GMT

In article <1ieundINNfrl@transfer.stratus.com> pfieland@citron.sw.stratus.com (Peggy Fieland) writes:
>I had a personal experience with bi-wariness last night, and
>it has left me feeling, well, depressed, saddened, grief stricken,
>or whatever.
>[...]
>Maybe it's just one of those weeks, but I'm feeling unusally
>pessimistic, that I'll never find a woman, never move off this
>point in my life.  I'm feeling fragile and in need of support.
>
>Peggy

Dear Peggy,
	........................................................

<big, long hug............stroke hair..................kiss cheek...........>
<.......................hug, hold, breath, relax, feel supported............>


Michael
-- 
========================================================
Michael Shiloh			michael@tfs.com
TRW Financial Systems		(510) 704-3520
Berkeley, Ca
From: pfieland@citron.sw.stratus.com (Peggy Fieland)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Bi-wariness
Date: 7 Jan 1993 21:25:03 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Software Engineering
NNTP-Posting-Host: citron.sw.stratus.com

In article <iw.726346795@tosser> iw@tosser.Rational.COM (The_Devine_Dolly) writes:
>With lesbians, there are two camps of anti-bi`s.  There are those who
>have been deeply hurt by men in their past and who cannot accept
>that a woman who loves women would also have dealings with men.  There
>are also those who themselves used bisexuality as an acceptable front
>for their attraction to motss, and feel that others who claim to be bisexual
>are doing the same thing.  These people can be virulently anti-bi 

That may very well have been the case.  One of the women (S.) had an
abusive ex-husband.  She recounted the following two stories as
reasons for why she wouldn't date bi's -- personally, they seemed
to be more a case of sexual bad manners than anything else.

In the first instance, the woman told her (after they'd made love)
that she'd slept with a man the previous night.  In the second,
the two woman were together in the bedroom when the bi woman's
(ex ?)husband arrived to pick up the kids for his weekly visit.
S. hadn't been told there WAS a husband, much less that he'd be
there in the morning to visit the kids.  S. had to go through the
living room (where he was) to get to the bathroom; she was very
embarrassed.

Peggy
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: firewind@wierius.uucp (Tom Parker)
Subject: Re: Conversions
Organization: Huh?  :-)
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 03:37:16 GMT

In article <1993Jan6.060143.19761@udel.edu> litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Stephen Litterst) writes:
>Okay, this is something that came up in a conversation at EveCon and I wanted
>to get a ton of opinions on it... While discussing coming out with Brendan
>(he's bi, I'm not {yet}) I mentioned that several people had been doing their 
>darnedest to "convert" me.  Now I'd never thought about it, but Brendan was
>incensed that people were interfering in someone else's soul searching.  He
>feels (and I agree now that I think about it) that someone's coming out should
>be a personal event/struggle with other people there to be supportive, not
>influential.

At one time I was doing some soul searching of my own and was running into
a similar problem with my friends.  Sure they were trying to be helpful, but
the difference between intent and results were significant.  Finally I said
something along the lines of:

"Look, I'm sorting out exactly how I feel right now.  The more you try to
influence me, the longer it'll take for me to sort this out!  All you're
doing is just muddying up the water, so back off!"

Yeah, thats me -- Mr. Subtle...  :-)

But seriously, your own voice should carry the most weight.  I tend to
analyse the message of the attempted influencer and throw away the emotional
baggage that would screw up what I would decide upon...

[Egads, it looks like I've been enticed out of the net.closet!]
-- 
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not
 become a monster.  And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also
 looks into you." -- Nietzsche
firewind@wierius.UUCP  or  ..!enuucp!telesys!wierius!firewind
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: tweaver@nyx.cs.du.edu (T.C.Weaver)
Subject: Re: Australians (was Re: accidently out)
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 93 00:43:13 GMT

 iw@tosser.Rational.COM (The_Devine_Dolly) writes:

>Tanaqui I have red hair too, as you well know!  Do tell me where
>I rate on the list for coming to America???  Please, sweetheart,
>make it high, I would be so disappointed.

Um, that would make you joint number 2, though I'm not telling anyone how I'm
counting. Unless I'm persuaded otherwise... |-)

Tori has dark red hair; I think you're a strawberry blonde. Mmmm.

>Iseult.
>Who always finds it necessary to flirt with Tanaquai, well - just because!

<grin> Even to the extent of spelling my name irregularly, just to get attention

Tanaqui  
Newsgroups: soc.bi,alt.polyamory
From: SILVERI@QUCDN.QueensU.CA (Silver Tiger)
Subject: Re: Set the WayBack Machine (Coming Out)
Organization: Queens University at Kingston
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 23:33:31 GMT

In article <1isg3aINNr0q@transfer.stratus.com>
pfieland@citron.sw.stratus.com (Peggy Fieland) writes:
 
[ Bisexuality pride pins ]
 
>Where, oh where? I want to get one, too!
 
Talk to Scott Moir, he got Anastasia and I our pins.  I'm going to be
purchasing a few more through him hopefully (for those who want them in
our area, and to have a couple of replacements in case one of ours goes
missing.  Mine's already chipped a bit with wear.  *grin*)
 
Scott?  I think we've got a market here to get a bulk order going, and
if we're lucky, we can get the price per unit dropped accordingly.  Can you
do some business magic over in your corner of the world?
 
>It's kind of sad that "it's a bit of a shock" from a parent really
>isn't a bad reaction.
 
Yeah, I know what you mean.  But hey, all in all, I wasn't displeased
by the reaction.  I expected a bit of shock, since it was a rather
major shift in her view of me that she had to make in very little time.
 
[ Treat people you're coming out to as if it's totally natural, which
  in fact, it is!   :) ]
 
>This sounds like a good move.  I'll try to remember this the next time
>I come out to a relative.
 
Your mileage may vary of course, but hey, it certainly can't hurt!
It puts the onus on the person you're telling to disprove your assumption
that nothing is out of the ordinary.
 
>I'm always cheered to hear about accepting spouses.  Mine is still
>having some problems (SLIGHT understatement -NOT) in that area.
 
Elaborations on this?  :(  Email might be a better forum if you
don't want to vent in public.
 
>Yes, living is a lot more fun.
>
>Peggy
 
You know it!  *hug*
 
Bright Blessings,
--
|  ..   Ian Silver/Silver Tiger/AgTiger      | Modem:  1-613-542-5110    ..
| .OO.  Email: SILVERI@QUCDN.QueensU.CA      | Landmail: PO BOX 333     .OO.
| O/\O  ____   Fido:  1:249/2 | 69:3005/4    |           Fineview, NY   O/\O
|  --   \/\/   NBCS:  B7ft+g(+)k+(+)s+(+)vmp |           13640-0333      --
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: dwells@lonestar.utsa.edu (Darren . Wells)
Subject: Re: Conversions
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 17:17:47 GMT

In article <1993Jan11.033716.7361@wierius.uucp>
 firewind@wierius.uucp (Tom Parker) writes:
>
>[Egads, it looks like I've been enticed out of the net.closet!]
>--

Well, three cheers and a poke to Tom for writing the post that enticed
you!

And welcome to the group.  It's always nice to hear another voice.
(especially a subtle one like yours)

hugs and more hugs

Darren
From: rsr@soda.berkeley.edu (Roy S. Rapoport)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Urgent notice!
Keywords: Make up your own.
Date: 10 Jan 93 00:42:34 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley, CS Undergraduate Association
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu

In article <1r#3q=h@rpi.edu> safarj@aix.rpi.edu (Jonah Emanuel Safar) writes:
->Warning!  It has been noted by our professional and tireless staff that not
->enough fluff has been posted to soc.bi.

*sigh* I tried, Sir ... 

(thinks fondly of a certain thread that _you_ need to continue)

-roy

-- 
Roy S. Rapoport     internet: rsr@soda.berkeley.edu      bitnet: rsrsoda@ucbocf
anonymous mail: wi.5836@n7kbt.rain.com        androphile, gynophile, kerryphile
"What I used to think is me / is just a faded memory." -NIN
"No mayonnaise in Ireland"
From: becki@Ingres.COM (Rebecca E. Tants)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: What's a "partner"? (was Re: treating men as sex toys)
Date: 8 Jan 93 21:44:05 GMT
Reply-To: becki@squid.ingres.com (Rebecca E. Tants)
Organization: Ingres, The ASK Group
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Graydon (SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA) wrote:
: Hmm... Becki, the register I go and look at when I'm trying to figure
: out if I'm in love or if my hormones are being unusually clamorous is
: labeled 'And loved the Other above all things'.

mmmm....i think the measure i use is 'this persons happiness and wellbeing is
second only to my own in importance, and a crucial part of my own happiness
and wellbeing (although not an exclusive part).

: Is that sorta what you mean?  As opposed to the (perhaps very deep)
: love for a friend that doesn't make them your primary emotional
: priority?  (after yourself, or pretty much the same as yourself;
: ahead of yourself is the way of madness.)

i think so.  during my relationship with this person, she was my primary 
emotional priority, and my primary emotional connection.  i did things
(as one sometimes do with a lover) that were directly against my better
judgement in order to make us both happier.  it left all my very close
friends in the dust.

becki

 -=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-
       Becki (aka Roo)                                  becki@ingres.com 
 The problem with society is that Stupidity is no longer a self-curing disease
 -=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-=*=-
From: winsor@teng.ppd.ti.com (js)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Bisexual idenity and community
Date: 12 Jan 1993 21:24:04 GMT
Organization: Texas Instruments
Distribution: world
Reply-To: winsor@teng.ppd.ti.com (js)
NNTP-Posting-Host: geek.teng.ppd.ti.com

In article <1993Jan12.180716.8764@dcs.warwick.ac.uk>, kay@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Kay Dekker) writes:
} In article <1it00cINNfol@cuda.add.itg.ti.com> winsor@geek. (js) writes:
} >In article <1993Jan11.173411.23150@dcs.warwick.ac.uk>, kay@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Kay Dekker) writes:
} >   the emblem of the dread Yog-Sothoth!
} >   
} >   		Kay (sillier than usual today)
} >All right.  I'll bite. :-)  what the muck is a Yog*?
} 
} Ooooo... as phrased, that's a tricky question.  Yog-Sothoth
} is mentioned many times in the writings of H P Lovecraft.
} *What* she/he/it is is difficult to say, apart from being
} one of the Elder Things that pipe and gibber about the
} the throne of the mad Demon-Sultan, dread Azathoth...

ah.

<meekly slips back into oblivion>

john
-- 
The opinions expressed in the above do not reflect those of
my employer, or anybody connected with my employer.  Including me.
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca (Brad Booth)
Subject: Re: Lifestyle (was Re: Coming out to family)
Originator: bbooth@bcrks6
Reply-To: bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca (Brad Booth)
Organization: BNR, Ottawa, ON, Canada
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 14:51:28 GMT


J.W.Harley@newcastle.ac.uk (Jon Harley) writes:
> bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca (Brad Booth) writes:
> >I think that lifestyle is defined by the way you choose to live your
> >life. 
> 
> That's exactly what I said.

Hmmm... maybe I wasn't clear, or misunderstood your point.  What I was
trying to get across is (IMHO) that lifestyle and sexuality can be
independent.  Lifestyle is a perception thing... how you think you
are living your life, or how others may perceive that you live your
life.  Sexuality is a feeling or expression of your sexual interest
or receptivity.

For example, some people may perceive that I live active, hetero,
or monogamous lifestyles; whereas, others may perceive that I live
artistic, gay or poly lifestyles.  Many people will have different
lifestyle interpretations for me... none of which would probably
be wrong, just dependent on the circumstances in which they meet
me.  But, *I* choose how I wish to live my life and how others
will perceive it.

> I doubt anyone who didn't actually have sex with MOTSS would *want* to claim that
> they lived a queer lifestyle, at least in my understanding of the term.

I would disagree... if someone felt more comfortable in the company
of gays or with the "queer lifestyle," then they may choose to
associate themselves in that way.  I know people who would be 
considered to live a "queer lifestyle," yet haven't actually had sex
with a motss.

> >Your sexuality is a seperate matter.  I like the Webster's def'n for
> >sexuality:
> >	"expression of sexual receptivity or interest"
> >Bi's, queers and straights all exhibit this.  We're all sexual
> >creatures.  We also all choose to life our lives in very different,
> >but sometime similar, ways.
> 
> I disagree. Closeted queers (including bis) may be too afraid to _express_ any sexual
> interest they may have in MOTSS, for instance. If this is the case then they are not
> choosing to live a queer lifestyle. Yet if they do have the sexual interest, that is
> part of their sexuality, and it is unlikely to be chosen.

But who is to say what a "queer lifestyle" is?  Being queer may be just
one component of your lifestyle.  If "queer lifestyle," "bi lifestyle"
and "het lifestyle" are related to your sexuality, then closeted queers,
bi's and het's have as much claim to that "lifestyle" as someone who is
not closeted.  Your sexuality is part of you, but your lifestyle is a
choice, your choice.

> My point was that lifestyle is chosen, sexuality may not be.

I agree... my point was that your lifestyle is diverse.  Your sexuality
is just a component of your lifestyle.


Opinions of,

    __o     Brad Booth              | "If somebody feels really good
  _`\<,_    Bell-Northern Research  |  about who they are, they don't
 (*)/ (*)   Ottawa, Ontario, Canada |  feel threatened by what other
----------  bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca  |  people are." - Dr. M. Rubenstein
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Subject: Re: Impossible acts
Originator: elf@halcyon.com
Organization: Pendor, UnLtd.
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 09:46:36 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.045643.23334@vpnet.chi.il.us>
     orc@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons) writes:

>|   Nope.  After all, we can't be sure the cat is _enjoying_ what it
>|does and hey, some of us humans can do that too, y'know...

>   (This is not necessarily a good thing; some of us tend to clench
>our teeth when we come...)

   I have this joke, it's about my wife...

   Do you know that Dr. Ruth, Dr. Reisman, and other sexologists
recommend that a little *fear* can add some spice to your sex life?

   Do you know that under full force the human jaw can exert 3600
pounds per square inch of pressure?

   Trust is letting an epileptic go down on you...

            Elf !!!
--
elf@halcyon.com  (Elf Sternberg)

Then, I was inspired.               God, thy will is hard
Now, I'm sad and tired.             But you hold every card.
Listen, surely I've exceeded        I will drink your cup of poison.
Expectations.                       Nail me to your cross and break me.
Tried for three years,              Bleed me, beat me.
Seems like thirty.                  Kill me.
Could you ask as much               Take me now.
From any other man?                 Before I change my mind.
From: J.W.Harley@newcastle.ac.uk (Jon Harley)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: YES! It works!!!
Date: 10 Jan 93 14:07:14 GMT
Organization: University of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, NE1 7RU

idx009@cck.coventry.ac.uk (the Crisco Kid) writes:

>>In article <0C1A3726A02003D4@TUDOBM.TUDELFT.NL> C.G.C.vanDijk@IO.TUDelft.NL writes:
>>>For any welcoming hug (shy smile, quickly evolving into shameless begging)
>>>please hug Kay too, who found this way of posting for me.  I have really
>>>felt bad about not being able to post for all this time, all you nice
>>>people flirting and we poor muffins-against-our-will being on the
>>>side line.  But no more :-) :-) :-)
>
>Perhaps it's about time there was an entry for remote posting in the FAQ
>file.  Jon?  Care to stick one in? (oo-er!)

What? Oh... for a minute there I thought I was getting the best offer I've
had in ages...

Guess it might be a good idea. I could put in a pointer to the anonymous
posting system too.

So how does one post remotely? Other than to soc-bi@somewhere, I've forgotten
where, Berkeley?


/jon (getting there)

   ___________________ ____ ________________________________________
  / -- Jonathan Harley \  /_    And they covered up the sun        //    //  //
 / J.W.Harley@ncl.ac.uk \/ /   until the birds had flown away...  // // //////
/_Phone:UK 091 222 8504__\/___________________________________///////////  //
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: gdb15@grebe.cl.cam.ac.uk (Guy Barry)
Subject: Re: Daoism, Pooh, and Bisexuals
Reply-To: gdb15@cl.cam.ac.uk
Organization: U of Cambridge Computer Lab, UK
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 21:08:20 GMT

In article <1993Jan11.205015.13136@dcs.qmw.ac.uk> arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk (Angus H Rodgers) writes:
>In <C0n4x7.8A0@newcastle.ac.uk>
>J.W.Harley@newcastle.ac.uk (Jon Harley) writes:
>
>>for instance, Kay has a cute little yin-yang sticker on his leather jacket
>>which changes colour depending on temperature.
>
>The temperature of what? :-)

What I want to know is where Kay found a leather jacket that changes colour...

--
Guy Barry, University of Cambridge | Phone: +44 (0)223 334757 
Computer Laboratory                | Fax: +44 (0)223 334678
New Museums Site, Pembroke Street  | JANET: Guy.Barry@uk.ac.cam.cl 
Cambridge CB2 3QG, England, UK     | Internet: Guy.Barry@cl.cam.ac.uk 
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: kay@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Kay Dekker)
Subject: Re: Not that this has any bi content...
Organization: Department of Computer Science, Warwick University, England
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 19:16:42 GMT

In article <C0pvnn.23F@news.udel.edu> jcarroll@bach.udel.edu (James Carroll) writes:
>...but the group is the only way I have of contacting UK residents.
>
>This summer all of my CDs were stolen.  I have been desparately trying to
>replace my _20_Years_Of_Jethro_Tull_ box set, but cannot find it anywhere.
>I was wondering if it was still available across the pond.  I am truly
>going mad without it and will probably do anything short of paying a truly
>ridiculous sum for it .  If anyone (Kay?) can help me out I would be
>greatly appreciative.

Ummmmm.... for a big kiss and a slurp I'll go to my favourite record
shop and have a look.

If it's still in press, I should be able to order you a copy and bring it
with me when I visit, no? there shouldn't be any problems with
importing them into the US, that way.

				Kay
-- 
the Crisco Kid: quiet, shy, mono, Armani-suited.  Not.  idx009@uk.ac.cov.cck
From: C.G.C.vanDijk@IO.TUDelft.NL
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Impossible acts
Date: 4 Jan 1993 12:33:13 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

Jenneke quotes:

> The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform. - Alfred Kinsey

Do you recognize this feeling of jealousy when watching a cat enjoying oral
sex with itself?

Casper

Casper G.C. van Dijk               "Broken words,
Delft University of Technology      never meant to be spoken"
the Netherlands                                    Bob Dylan