From: jdeutsch@gmuvax2.gmu.edu (Jeffrey Deutsch)
Subject: Re: Can a WIZ threaten you in RL????
Followup-To: rec.games.mud.misc,rec.games.mud.tiny
Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, Va.
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 00:03:29 GMT

In article <1993Jan19.201748.22359@news.columbia.edu> jsb16@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Jennifer S Broekman) writes:
>In article <1993Jan19.132644.1142@uoft02.utoledo.edu> 
>jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner) writes:
>>jsb16@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Jennifer S Broekman) writes:
>>> If a random character sent me mail requesting me to pop out of a 
>>> cake and dance for some schmoe's bachelor party, where I'd never 
>>> met or interacted with either the character sending the mail or the 
>>> character for whom the party was being thrown, I would consider it 
>>> harassment. VR harassment, but harassment nonetheless. 
>>
>>how so? it was a polite request. no demands or threats were made. 
>>there was no attempt at embarrassment or public humiliation. it was 
>>not repeated. there was no physical imposition. it was even -short-. 
>>in fact, it was an invite to a TinyActivity that could be a fun
>>role-playing experience & perhaps allow you to interact with some new
>>people. (that's rather the point of social/tiny style MUDs, no?)
>
>It was no more polite than stopping someone on the street to ask them the same 
>question would be. It makes assumptions on no basis whatsoever, other than the
>assumed gender of the recipient. It's as rude as 'send'ing someone the same
>message on your local UNIX system. If the character sending the invite wanted
>dancing girls, he should have posted the request to some sort of central
>bulletin board, not sent mail individually.
>
	It may be a little *weird*, I'll admit, but it's NOT harassment.
First of all, it's not the same as stopping someone on the street. The
sender only invited folks playing on the same MUD - just like people
on a combat MUD may invite other MUDders to help kill a dangerous
monster, or the host of a party may suggest playing "pin the tail on
the donkey", or something like that. In other words, it is simply
expanding the social aspect among a group of people specifically there
to socialize.
	Secondly, it may be a little "stupid" to assume one's gender
just from one's name (then again, I am opposed to allowing people to
have opposite-sexed characters without making it otherwise clear what
their RL gender is precisely because of situations like this), but
it's not harassment. It's a cute touch to send a personal note 
instead of "merely" putting it up on the bulletin board (although that
would not necessarily have been "bad" either).
	Sorry, Jennifer, but, in any social environment, including
MUDs, dorms, class trips - and eventually an actual job - you are
going to run into many, many people who like to do things that you  
don't approve of. And guess what? A good many of *them* don't approve
of certain things that *you* may do either. The way we handle this
without having a miniature equivalent of World War III every time
someone takes exception to something that someone else does is to
establish a more or less "live and let live", more or less tacit
and unwritten, among everyone. Establish certain lines delineating
each person's individual rights, which none may cross. Unless someone's
actions actually cross those lines, like my previous example of
fondling someone even after s/he asks you to stop, we learn to
accept one another's different ways of living and our little
eccentricities. We may choose to avoid someone whose habits we
don't like - but we do NOT fly off the handle and scream "Harassment!"
every time someone behaves in a way that conflicts with our own
cherished ways of doing things (which is not infrequent, given that,
after all, we *are* all very unique individuals).

	Jeff Deutsch


-- 
Q: How many gun banners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Let the police do it - private citizens can't be trusted with light
bulbs!
Xref: sparky rec.games.mud.misc:2079 rec.games.mud.admin:1200 rec.games.frp.misc:11828 rec.games.int-fiction:1228