From: mlinda@novell.com (M'Linda Taylor)
Subject: Re: Only Child - A Summary
Keywords: Historical perspective - positive for both sides!
Organization: Novell Inc., Austin, Texas
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 21:47:41 GMT

As I am a only child (raised by a single parent) I'd like to add my
two cents.


In article <1992Jul28.124319.17955@csd.brispoly.ac.uk> c_lakhan@csd.brispoly.ac.uk (C Lakhani) writes:
>Hi,
>
>Disadvantages with having an only child
>
>1.	Onlies demand constant attention from adults.  They get tired of 
>	entertaining him/her.

I don't know about this one....I was a very solitary kid.  Give me a 
book or somewhere to day dream and I was happy.
>
>2.	All goals and aspirations(parental) flung on one child.  Parents
>	also tend to worry about doing the right thing by him/her, whereas
>	with two, one gets a breather now and again.

Didn't notice.
>
>3.	Onlies don't learn to share/live with other people.  Even if children 
>	are encouraged to have an outside interest, there are times at home 
>	with only the parent(s) as company.  Also problems about latchkey
>	children are exacerbated with onlies.  They don't learn how to 
>	negotiate and compromise.

I never had a problem sharing.  I was most often my own company (see 1.)
I will have to admit that I related to adults better than other kids.
I always had to negotiate and compromise, it just wasn't with kids.  I had
to be very responsible at a early age due to the fact that I spent alot of
time alone.  In my case it worked out o.k., I was always the one who could
figure out how to deal with any disasters my friends managed to cook up.

>
>4.	Onlies have no one to share problems with (the peer group variety).
>	No one to discuss parental problems with.
Not true!  I had other friends who were "onlies" and we shared our problems.
Same with parental problems.  I also discussed parental problems with one of
my Mothers best friends, my pseudo-aunt.

>
>5.	Miss out on lessons learnt from sibling rivalry.

Falls under "I don't know what I missed".
>
>6.  	Miss out on the bond that exists between siblings.  Apparently it 
>	is very deep.

I have to admit that I always wanted a brother.  I fixed that myself last
year when my best friend started introducing me as "Sis" and it stuck.
People really believe we're related.
>
>7.	Onlies develop an unhealthy attachment to material things.  This 
>	arises from the fact that things like toys etc. never have to be 
>	shared, rarely get broken through someone else's fault.

Maybe.....
>
>8.	Bossiness factor is prevalent among onlies.  Onlies like to direct 
>	all the action.

Some "onlies" are anything BUT bossy.  The bossiest people I met where 
my friends older siblings.

>
>9.	Miss out on support after one or both parents have died.  Cannot 
>	share the burden of looking after ageing parent(s) if necessary.

I know of lots of families where one child has to take all the
responsibility for aging parents because the other kids in the family
cop out.
>
>10.	There is a societal thing against only children.  Some parents will 
>	almost accuse you of Child Abuse if you have an Only.

Never happened to my Mother or any of my friends parents.
>
>11.	Onlies never master playing by someone else's rules.  Grow up 
>	socially incompetent.  Have a hard time having roommates.

While I disagree with the first and second part of this statement, I agree
with the room mate issue.  Maybe it is me....the room mates I have had 
were all loud, inconsiderate and irresponsible.  I bent over backwards not
to disturb them and to be considerate of their wishes and got walked all
over.  Does it have anything to do with being an only child?  I don't know.

This reply is not a flame, just my opinion.  I missed the part of this
discussion where opinions were requested.  

M'Linda

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