From: aref@Tehran.Stanford.EDU (Modda'iyeh har hAzer va Vakileh har ghAyeb)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian
Subject: Re: Is there an interpreter in the house?
Date: 25 Jan 93 19:04:21 GMT
Organization: VezArateh Omooreh khArejeh

In article <C1A006.JEA@news.cso.uiuc.edu> 
yaser@uxh.cso.uiuc.edu (Ala) writes:

>>>I do think that IRANI girls ARE too good for Americans.
>>>But again I am talking about IRANI and not so called Persian-Americans.
>>>In general I am against dating and casual relationships.
>>>It seriusly contradicts our culture.
>>>This, I know, is not only MY opinion.
>>>
>>>Ala
>
>
>>Attitudes as such, judging people and generalizing about them because of
>>the color of their passport are as old as all other forms of bigotry and
>>prejudice.
>
[alpha]
>I did not judge anyone on the personal level.  I made an statement based
>on general characteristcs and cultural values of two different systems.
>Not two different countries or two different races and not even two
>different languages.  An IRANI girl is after entering warmth and security
>of a family.  from young ages they are after a good husband, someone they
>can share they moments of life with.  They are after permanent relationships
>raising kids and promoting family values.ng

That is exactly the issue. Had you judged a particular person on  the 
personal level; well it could be that you know that person real well and
know what (s)he is up to. But no! You generalized about two entire nations
with such variety and diversity in both of them that one can invalidate
any generalization by a simple example of the opposite. 

>What is the goal of a typical American boy?

I don't know. Ask the typical American boy when you find such a person.

>Certainly having a family is last in their agenda.  After overusing their
>sexual powers and getting tired of chasing girls, they are usually forced
>into entering a mariage that does not usually last very long.

Hmmm let me see. So that means that Iranian boys never ever think of
sexual issues and never chase any girls. hahahaha! Did you ever
attend high school in Iran?

I have never heard of any American *forced* into a marriage. I know of
many Iranians who have been forced into marriages. Ask any Iranian
grandmother who was married at age 9 or 10.

>Sure there are exceptions.  Americans that honor family values and Iranians
>who does not and I did not mean to generalize this rule.

But you did. Even in this very same post you did. Read the paragraph 
marked [alpha] above.

>Rather I am pointing to the difference in the expectations from life.
>I have three of my cousins married to Americans and judging from their
>lives they do not look happy at all.  At the same time I know Iraninas
>that are married to Americans and are very happy.  In these cases, I have
>noticed, Americans are very interested in Iranian culture.

Well then, using your own examples, we can see that we can't generalize.


>I am not sure you know what you are talking about.  Who did I label?

The typical American boy and the typical IRANI girl.

>Why are you so upset about my criticism of this culture.  This society
>is GOING DOWN TO HELL and I as an proud IRANI have all the rights to
>express my ideas about my own culture and differences with this one.

I am not upset about your criticism of this culture, if one cares to
characterize that as a criticism. But your "criticism" is based on 
the "Iranian culture is superior" theme - which is invalid in my
opinion. And about your rights to express your ideas:
You sure do, regardless of your background. No one is arguing 
against that.

>Without any doubt Iranian culture is way superior to theAmerican culture
>in many respects among which is the way we look at the world, our
>expectation from life, the way we treat our family, our elderly, the
>way we eat, what we eat, the way we socialize, the way we celebrate
>our hollidays and etc.

In my opinion: nonesense. There are good and bad aspects to both cultures.
Of course "good" and "bad" is probably defined by every person for 
themselves. In many apsects Iranian culture is superior to American
culture and in many aspects it is inferior to American culture. BTW,
what are Iranian culture and American culture? Can you give definitions?

>Let me tell you what is sad.
>It is sad that today we are witnessing people who call themselves IRANI
>but the only thing they have retained from their Iranian-ness is their
>name (in many cases this is not even true).  many of them shameful for
>being Irani called themselves Persians and at best tried to be agood
>Persian-American (Ajab ma'joone bee mosammaa'ee).
>Yes, it is indeed sad to witness awhole generation of Iranian immigrants
>going down the American drain.

I take it that you are not generalizing and are referring to certain
people or groups of people that you know of. 


>Your concern about major rdneckness against Americans only seems to be
>another characteristic of a person assimilated into this society.

I see. Another generalization?. Being assimilated into this society
does not necessarily mean you have given up all your original 
values and beliefs. This society is a sum made up of its smaller 
pieces. Those pieces come from all parts of the world. From Tehran,
Mashhad, Esfahan, Ahvaz, Kabul, Karachi Bombay, Mexico City, 
Berlin, Cairo, Buenos Aires, Tokyo, Moscow ...etc...

I think there is a lot for me to learn from these people and try
to change and be a better person. You (and anyone else) are more
than welcome to keep your own ways. 

>Let's try to be IRANI they way Iranians have always been not they way
>we are told to be.

PLEASE tell us how that is. How can one be such an IRANI? I don't
recollect anyone telling me how to be IRANI. Until now, of course.

Aref
Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian