From: david@gdstech.grumman.com (David Nettles)
Subject: Re: Interracial Dating
Reply-To: david@gdstech.UUCP (David Nettles)
Organization: Grumman Data Systems-Woodbury
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 15:25:04 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.014145.2522@athena.mit.edu> femibyte@athena.mit.edu (Olufemi G Anthony) writes:
>In article <1992Oct11.145256.1@opie.bgsu.edu> bc205cs@opie.bgsu.edu writes:
>>	I am a 22 year old college student who is very much against interracial
>>
>>marriage and dating.  Just the other day my best friend and I were discusing
>>
>
>No I don't. In fact I believe that a most of the black male -
>white female relationships today come about largely due to curiousity or some
>psychological factor - black males feel a sense of powerlessness/sense
>of inferiority and feel that getting a white woman will somehow make up
>for that. Most white females go with black men because of the stereotype
>that we black men are somehow more sexually potent.
[stuff deleted...]
> Personally I
>am against interracial dating for the following reasons. Another reason
>why I think that many black men go out with white women is that they
>feel that white women are somehow "less demanding" than black women,
>which means that white women expect them to be less responsible. As a
>black sister of mine once put it. If a black guy starts messing around
>the white girl will accept it by saying "that's how black men are" while
>black woman will say "He shouldn't behave like that". I believe that
>black men will get fulfilling relationships only with black women. I
>prefer having a black woman who is going to challenge me everyday than
>someone just accepting me as "being that way". I also think that it is
>a great disservice done to black women when black males date white
>women, after the black woman has been at his side throughout all the
>suffering (the black woman kept the family together). Also, it's time
>for us to put our women on a pedestal too.... For a very good
>psychoanalysis of interracial relationships, take a look at the book
>"Black Skins, White Masks" by Franz Fanon.
>
>Femi.
>
>All hail to the blak woman...
>
>

I do not have a black girlfriend and I am tired of this crap.  I am
not rude, crass, impolite, irresponsible, criminal or otherwise.  I am
a caring individual who is not rich, but always pays his bills; I
always work hard at my job (I am a computer programmer) and I always
work hard in university.  I have a car, though it is 8 years old.  I
am not one of those guys who has a 100% perfect life.  I have my
problems like anybody else.

I am not someone who will EVER treat my girlfriend with disrespect.
My girlfriend and I have different opinions on a number of things, and
I listen to her... there are just things that she knows better than I
do -- makes sense to me...

While I was not in university over the summer, my girlfriend and I use
to go camping every weekend.  We used to take long drives together out
to eastern Long Island and sleep in the car so we could take pictures
of the next morning's sunrise.

Do I sound like a bad guy?

Well, for some reason, most sisters didn't think of me as a boyfriend
type.  I don't like hearing these complaints about how brothers "can
get away with their mess with a white woman that they can't with a
sister".  Heck!  I was always there, but the sisters were never
interested in me.  

Why?

To the core I am a Black Man.  My girlfriend knows that and so does
everyone else in my life.

Maybe because I am not "hip" enough or something?  The dominant Black
culture appears to be involved in certain types of clothes, styles,
and music.  I most certainly do not have the clothes (I wears
blue-jeans and T-shirts... I don't wear what I believe is refered to
as "African" fashions and colors... It is neither my style or what I
can afford to wear...).

I don't like to go to parties...

I listen to "Black" music... though not exclusively...  I listen to a
lot of different things: Calipso, Classical, African, Irish, Scottish,
Ska, Reggae, Modern-American-Folk, Jazz, etc...

Issues regarding my accent or use of English I belive are irrelevant,
but, in truth, I do not speak "Black English"...  but then again, not
everyone does.

My politics are Black... so I can never be accused of being an OREO or
a sell-out.

In my case, I think that because I do not come in a familiar "Black"
package that sisters might discount me right from the start.  Heck, I
don't really talk smooth... I am just sort've of simple... I try to be
honest.  I believe that sisters are looking for good qualities in
brothers.  But I am not coming in the package that they expect.

Well... I'm just saying that I am tired of this crap.

I was studying with some friends of mine (all girls) one night when
they were discussing this issue about Black guys not dating Black
women.  I just decided to let them talk and not tell them that my
girlfriend was not Black.  The truth is, I don't think they would
really understand.  According to your logic, if I had "settled" for a
non-Black girlfriend, it would imply that I was flawed from the start
and not worth having by a Black woman anyway

My girlfriend is no less of a woman than any other because she is not
Black and, furthermore, she is much more than any other woman because
she is the one who is with me now.

It just makes me so angry... this is an insult to myself and to my
girlfriend and neither of us asked for this.

We fell in love only because I said hello by accident one day.
We talked on a noisy bus for weeks and were patient and interested in
what the other thought and in the life of the other.

She doesn't really like all of my music, although she likes Classical,
Rap, Hip Hop, and Reggae... but she is not very interested in my
custom of listening to opera on Sunday mornings or Irish folk tunes on
Saturday afternoons...  We both love potatoe chips, although she loves
Cheeze-Doodles more than I.  I like to read poetry and fiction, she
prefers history.  She likes horror movies while I like Sci-Fi.  We
both hate dancing.

That's all I understand.

-- 
****************************************************************************
   David E. Nettles
   Internet: david@gdstech.grumman.com
   Grumman Data Systems