From: ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Eric Huppertz)
Subject: Adoption is an answer
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 03:14:20 GMT
Organization: Illinois State University

I'm glad to see that alt.adoption was finally created. I just hope
it doesn't turn into alt.dear-abby like some other groups |^).  

For the last few years I have watched the anti-abortion factions
with some interest, as the debate heated up and came down to a 
*very* close call in the Supreme Court. But most of the efforts
of the anti-abortion faction (e.g. human chains around clinics,
lobbying/demonstrating to get the laws changed, etc) are at best
misguided.  What would they have if they won?  A hollow victory,
wherein the law would forbid abortion but it would continue to 
happen on a regular basis because none of the attitudes have
changed.

I can't understand why all these people who stamp their feet and
scream about the horrors of abortion don't switch their tactics and
turn their efforts toward encouraging adoption as an alternative to
abortion.  Nobody would publicly discourage such a campaign, 
especially if it were handled as well as Nancy Reagan's "Just Say
No to Drugs" or MTV's "Rock the Vote."

And in today's society, this campaign is what we need most, above 
all the hatred and intolerance and violence.  Take a look at this
society's attitude toward girls with unwanted pregnancies:  Rather
than being taken in and consoled, they are treated like "sinners"
in much the same way AIDS victims are regarded.  (If you disagree,
cf. the current public opinion of Magic Johnson.)  So to the girl
who finds she is pregnant, NO MATTER WHAT the law says, her best
option is to abort the pregnancy before anyone finds out about it.
Ask my girlfriend, who went to a Catholic school, about the girls
who were kicked out for being pregnant when the girls who had had
secret abortions were of course still in school.  I don't know...
couldn't one interpret this as a Catholic school ENCOURAGING
abortion? (This is not flame-bait, but an aside; I'm leading up
to a point.  I'm just saying that it's one possible interpretation
and I don't want to get into *that* debate.  :-) )

What I'm saying is, why doesn't a school like that just take the
girl aside, offer her some support, and say "look, we know mistakes
happen; you don't have to worry about aborting your baby or raising
a child if adoption is your choice"?  Wouldn't that attitude 
coming from a religious school encourage acceptance and level-
headedness?  

The one thing I absolutely cannot fathom is this society's intolerance
toward giving a child up for adoption, in a time when that would be
an answer to a good many problems.  One talk show I saw featured a 
young couple who were having some kind of problem.  The girl mentioned
that she had given her baby up for adoption because she didn't think
they had enough money to raise it.  At that point a woman in the 
audience jumped up and said angrily, "just because you don't have
enough money is no reason to give your child up for adoption."  And
the whole audience clapped and cheered.  I was so mad I wanted to 
punch that lady!  What, is an unwanted baby your "punishment"?  Are
women to be *forced* to keep and raise their child, even though they
feel they are not properly suited for it, or have the resources to 
give the child the kind of life s/he deserves?  Nice attitude. What
a loving display of compassion.

Yes, I have a personal interest in this matter.  Just over four years
ago, my girlfriend got pregnant.  We considered abortion but for 
several reasons we decided to go ahead with the childbirth and give
the baby up to a better home than we could ever provide.  You wouldn't
believe the grief we got for this decision!  Amazement followed by
anger was usually what we saw.  "How can you THINK about giving your
baby up?"  This is what one of my best friends said.  My girlfriend's
own mother began a tirade of emotional warfare, saying things like
"but the baby will have your EYES!" to try to force her into keeping
the child, even though we were both only 20 and still in college, with
no possible way to give any child a good home.

Sadly, my baby boy died after nine days in neonatal intensive care. We
were prepared to stick by our decision had he lived, and I still am
consoled by the fact that he would have gone to a home with loving and
caring parents.  Statistically, adopted children are among the smartest,
most well-adjusted members of society.  I have no doubt that our son
would have been given the greatest of care, and that adoption was the
most loving thing we could possibly have done.

Is there anyone out there who has experienced the same attitude toward
adoption that I have?  And doesn't it seem that the anti-abortion
faction would probably serve their own interests best by campaigning
in favor of better support for pregnant girls  to choose adoption? 

-e.

-- 
 _|_|    _|_|  _|  _|_|_|      Eric J. Huppertz     ejhupper@ilstu.edu
_|_|_|  _|         _|          =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
_|      _|     _|  _|          "Don't you have anything better to do?"
 _|_|   _|     _|  _|_|_|      "Yeah--but I ain't doin' it right now."
Newsgroups: talk.abortion