From: hollowr@atlantis.CS.ORST.EDU (R. Holloway)
Newsgroups: alt.personals,alt.personals.misc,alt.sex,alt.sexual.abuse.recovery,alt.support,soc.women,talk.rape
Subject: Re: Loss and how to adjust
Summary: Post Trauma Stress Syndrome
Keywords: Mental Health
Date: 26 Jul 92 01:09:58 GMT
Article-I.D.: leela.1992Jul26.010958.9505
Distribution: usa
Organization: Computer Science Outreach Services - Oregon State University

>In article <1992Jul23.184914.21439@unislc.uucp> erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:

>>Monday evening, I went out to grab a burger at the local Wendy's.  
>too late.  I hit three people standing in the middle of the road.

Ed:

Unfortunately, I've heard this story - or at least one very similar to it -
many times.  As a 14 year veteran of police work, I responded many scenes of
tragedy, violence & pain.  This is not intended to trivialize your pain nor
mitigate the depth of your feelings.  However, your trauma is closely related
to that felt by many persons involved in the trauma of violence which has
many faces (e.g., rape - personal, shooting - police officer involved, child
sexual abuse, domestic violence, war - soldier, assault - male/female, wit-
nesses to violent person-to-person crime).  Trauma (whether personal or gener-
alized) leaves psychological scars upon the mind.  In order to cope with
that trauma, the mind subjects (for its own health) us to specific remeadies
(e.g., guilt, introspection, nightmares, tremors, sexual dysfunction, gener-
ized insomnia, irritability, nonspecific crying, loss of appetite, loss of
motivation, etc.).  Understand that these manifestations are normal and
healthy.  But just saying these things does not help you in your specific 
situation.  IF you find yourself unable to deal with these feelings and
thoughts, understand that there is help.  Many various groups can help you
deal with these thoughts and assist you in orienting these manifestations
into your life.  The danger here is your becoming overwhelmed by them.  You
may begin to feel yourself becoming separate and different from others & that
no one else knows how you feel.  I do.  I was involved in a police related
trauma - no, nothing as dramatic as a shooting - but I was assaulted by
a drunk driver during an arrest.  

Post Trauma Stress Syndrome may require counseling to help you come to grips
with its manifestations.  You may suffer from all, none, or just some of
the many mental/physical symptoms.  One thing that I constantly did was
"replay" the incident over & over in my mind.  I could not sleep.  I question-
ed and requestioned my actions - before, during & after - my assault.  I sat
& asked myself if there was something else I could have/should have done. Yet,
none of my mental anguish could have or did alter or change what DID happen.
In order to find peace again, seek (if necessary in your specific case &
if comfortable for you) counseling.  

I suggest a rape crisis hotline, a competent mental health worker, (if you are
a veteran) the Veterans Administration, or discuss the situation with your
family doctor (for referral).  You must deal with the guilt, but realize 
that nothing you do now will alter what has happened.  As you mentioned, you
were in the right place at the wrong time.  Do not blame yourself, the 
folks that you hit, nor anyone.  It happened & that is fact.  You have a life
touched by trauma, but your life prior to that incident was not bad & you are
a worthy person.  Discover self love and self forgiveness.  Learn to let it
go and continue with your life.  Never forget the incident, but put it into
perspective.

You may also find help by contacting a death & dying grieving group.  PTSS has
many similarities to the grieving process.  Return to "normalicy" depends 
upon self nurturing and discussion.

Good luck,

Bob
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