From: jon@ccl.umist.ac.uk (Jon Wells)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Big trouble.
Date: 28 Jul 92 13:48:12 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre

In <1992Jul27.025700.2534@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au> ins499y@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (Mr D. Peethamparam) writes:

>And what have I done?  Fallen for my dad's college friend's daughter.
>AAAAAAAARGH!  And she's an overseas student, due to finish in 8 months
>(and leave for Singapore!).  AAAAAAAARGH!  _And_ we've been good friends
>for almost 3 years now.   AAAAAAAAARGH!
>But, believe it or not, I don't really care.....  I'm just basking in
>the feeling of being attracted to each other.  *goofy grin*
>And I'd forgotten how good it feels to be held, and to feel loved.
>*goofier grin*
>My dad has been appointed UnOfficial Guardian whilst she's studying here.
>I can just imagine the look on his face when he finds out......
>He is just going to _freak_ out!
>Oh, man.  Just don't tell me to break it off.  We've both wanted this to
>happen for a while now, we were just unsure about each other's feelings.
>All that time wasted.  Never mind.  I just hope we can keep this low-key
>enough for it to escape my parent's attention.....

Well - I see what you mean about Big Trouble. Yuk - rather you than me...

OK - so you've both wanted this to happen for ages. Great - let it happen.
Firstly, though, remember that if it ever does get serious (or more so than
at present), she will be off to Singapore in 8 months and there's probably
very little that either of you can do about it. (Maybe there is - I don't
know) If you are still together and very serious by then, one of two things
is going to happen. Either you'll start an LDR (In my experience they don't
last too long....) or you'll end up breaking up. If you think you can cope
with this then fine, but it is certainly worth thinking about before you
get into even bigger trouble. Of course it is good to be held and loved,
but it also hurts a hell of a lot if you have to split up when neither
partner wants it. Circumstances can be a real bitch at times.

As for parents - I guess it's very easy to say that they _should_ accept
your relationships with whoever you choose. Of course, this is often not
the case. It is up to you whether you let them know. If they find out, or
have to be told, then I would (personally) tell them that it is my life and
I am old enough to decide who I want to see. If they can't accept my
girlfriends/lovers then that's basically tough. I'd try to persuade them
to, of course, but if all else fails, I would eventually be forced to think
about ME. It's not really acceptable to allow your choice of relationships
to be dominated by parents. IMHO they have no right to decide. Your
situation, however, seems to require a little more tact, as your dad could
well make things quite awkward, should he want to. Maybe the best thing is
to keep it under your hat for a while. I wouldn't recommend lying to him
about it if you can possibly help it, just make sure that he doesn't find
out. If you tell him you are not seeing her when you _are_ it could well
make things worse. Avoid the subject as far as possible and try to keep it
quiet....

Hope this helps a little. If it doesn't, nothing wasted......

Jon
jon@ccl.umist.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat