From: carl@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Carl J Lydick)
Newsgroups: comp.os.vms
Subject: Re: ERROR MESSAGES
Date: 4 Jan 1993 08:50:19 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Distribution: world
Reply-To: carl@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <9301022158.AA31384@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu>, don@ANZIO.GATECH.EDU writes:
>I have a real problem~r a{d I am not sure what to do.  I have a software
>program that I bought but it runs too slow.  I can't hardly ~rget anything
>done with it{ so I decid{ that instead I should run it on VAX.  So, I use
>kermit to transfer it to VAX and it looks good it's got the same name
>and everything.  But when I t{y to RUN it, I just get error messages and
>I don't know why.  So, I figure that I have something wrong and I go to
>the VAX guy and he says that block size needs to bg{ changed and so I use
>FILE and change blocksizes.  It still doesn't work when I go this because
>I run it and it just gives me a lot of numbers on the screen.  This isn't
>useful.  I am wondering if it{might be because I don't have EGA on the VAX
>and I think the software program might need EGA{  Is there some way I get
>another program emulate EGA or something?

You know, until about three months ago, I would've thought that this was a
rather poor attempt at a spoof.  But after all the moronic questions I've seen
posted in the past three months, I've got to assume this idiot is serious.

Let me guess:  You copied an executable from a PC to a VAX and it won't run. 
You're just too fucking stupid to pay any attention to the error messages, or
post them to the group, so I can't be *SURE* that that's your particular mode
of idiocy, but it seems likely.

So suppose you give us a hint?  What error messages did VMS give you?  You *DO*
understand that these error messages mean something, don't you?  (Pardon me
while I go get another 20 mg of nifedipine [blood pressure medication]).  You
*DON'T* realize that error messages mean something?  Well, let's catalog what
might be wrong:
	1)  You copied a PC .EXE file to a VMS system and tried to run it. 
	    Neither a VAX nor an ALPHA is a PC.  Images from a PC won't run
	    under VMS.
	2)  You copied the source and it didn't compile.
	    A)  You copied it the wrong way, so new-lines didn't show up in the
		right places (another person did this, but *HE* was smart
		enough to tell us the symptoms, and a few of us were able to
		guess what he'd done wrong;  *YOU* of course, don't think that
		such details are important)
	    B)  You copied the source OK, but there are missing include files;
Now, JUST HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GUESS WHICH TECHNIQUE YOU USED TO
SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carl J Lydick | INTERnet: CARL@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU | NSI/HEPnet: SOL1::CARL

Disclaimer:  Hey, I understand VAXen and VMS.  That's what I get paid for.  My
understanding of astronomy is purely at the amateur level (or below).  So
unless what I'm saying is directly related to VAX/VMS, don't hold me or my
organization responsible for it.  If it IS related to VAX/VMS, you can try to
hold me responsible for it, but my organization had nothing to do with it.
Newsgroups: comp.os.vms