From: cortese@skid.ps.uci.edu (Janis Maria Cortese)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: clearing something up
Date: 12 Dec 1992 03:22:23 GMT
Organization: University of California, Irvine
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: remarque.berkeley.edu
Originator: muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu

I just wanted to clear up yet another misconception that I think has
been brewing on just what I think pornography is; some kind osulds have
mailed me and suggested that I do this.  Following is a letter which I
wrote to another netter in response to a question concerning WHY I don't
like porn:


Have you ever had someone you were in bed with comment on how
disappointed he was in parts of your body?  Have you ever had
people you didn't even know walk up and tell you exactly what
they think of your body?  Have you ever had bums on the street
tell you what they'd like to do to you?  This attitude that wome
women are on display for men is pernicious and makes women
very unhappy until they get angry about it.  This attitude is
rampant, and I've found that it's worst in men who consume
porn, in my experience.

I may also be defining porn differently from how people think
I'm defining it.  Porn connotes non-mutuality, the attitude
that one or more persons is there for the delectation of the
viewer or another person; note that this definition of mutu-
ality includes the observer.  The "I'm here for you and only
you" attitude pisses me off.  Mutual sharing of sexuality and
enjoyment of the human body I find no fault with, and I'm
afraid that some people -- especially men -- on the net think
that I'm saying that erections are un-PC.  Nothing could be
further from the truth.  It's the unreal trash that bothers me.

When young boys learn about sexuality for the first time, they
do it through these damned magazines.  Nothing real, no acknow-
ledgement of the woman's sexuality as an autonomous thing.  It's
just there for them.  They go through adolescence learning all
of this "information" of "just what a woman wants," which is 
usually getting on top of her and driving it home while she squeals
"Harder!  Faster!  Ooh, harder!"

Yeah, right.  If it were mutual and from men's and women's points 
of view -- and not just the point of view of the women whose
views happen to dovetail with the men's but ALL WOMEN'S VIEWS --
it would be wonderful and a lot of fun.  As it is, boys grow up
learning all this nonsense about "what women are like," hit
puberty, start going out with girls, and are shocked to realize
that it's not that way.  Then, they start blaming the women: "Hey,
what's wrong with this lame girlfriend I have?  Hey, honey, Marilyn
Chambers smiled when they did that to her."  THIS is my definition
of porn -- the marketing of a completely fake and unreal concept of
women's sexuality that defines it in terms of men's only. 

Don't think for a minute that women don't have their stupid 
fantasies and that they don't get in the way of relationships, as
well.  The fairy-tale "Beauty and the Beast" crap that tells a
woman that she can change him into whatever she wants just by
working her feminine wiles is also trash, and demeans men as being
malleable fools who you can twist around you little finger.  Woman
are FOREVER tinking that they can "change him."  Women are also
lulled into believing that marrying the right man will solve all
her life's problems for her; he'll make it all better.  Then, she
gets married, finds out that this imperfect human being she got
married to is sometimes just as perplexed and helpless in the face
of life as she is, and wonders -- parallel to the man above -- 
"What's wrong with this doofus I'm stuck with?"

WE ARE REARING OURSELVES ON FANTASY AND KNOW NOTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER.
It's far easier for a man to believe that his girlfriend is frigid
that to realize that the multibillion dollar industry that supposedly
taught him "all about women" is a crock.  It's easier for a woman to
believe that her husband/boyfriend is a fool than it is to realize that
the female fantasy about Superman the Perfect Meal Ticket is trash.

It is THIS that I hate about porn -- and the fairy tale crap as well.
Does this make my position clearer?  

Regards,
Janis C.




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