From: Lisa S. Lewis <lisas@pucc.princeton.edu>
Subject: Re: slow talker
Originator: news@nimaster
Organization: Princeton  University
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     <1992Dec17.160748.24081@Princeton.EDU>
     <17DEC199211040389@eldyn.gsfc.nasa.gov>
     <1992Dec17.100730.62135@cc.usu.edu>
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 19:53:19 GMT

>Path:
princeton!jvnc.net!yale.edu!qt.cs.utexas.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!caen!he
>llgate.utah.edu!cc.usu.edu!slb3y
>From: slb3y@cc.usu.edu (Punk Rocketeer)
>Newsgroups: misc.kids
>Subject: Re: slow talker
>Message-ID: <1992Dec17.100730.62135@cc.usu.edu>
>Date: 17 Dec 92 10:07:29 MDT
>References: <1992Dec15.164742.6292@crd.ge.com>
<1992Dec16.214249.24028@Princeton.EDU>
>Organization: Omega:  The Final Solution
>Lines: 49
>
>In article <1992Dec16.214249.24028@Princeton.EDU>,
>lisas@pucc.princeton.edu (Lisa S. Lewis) writes:
>>> 
>> I wish I had a quarter for every time I've heard that "Einstein didn't
>> talk till he was four" or  "my uncle/brother/grandfather/insert
relative
>> of your choice/ didn't talk until he was five...."
>
>     If you've heard it that often, it isn't that uncommon.  I've
>heard it quite a bit also.  My uncle is the only one I personally
>know, so that's who I stuck with.

I said I heard it, I didn't say I believed it, and I don't.  No, I don't
think that parents and grandparents out there are lying. I just think
that(in most cases, at least) they are not remembering correctly.  Sure,
the child spoke late, but somehow it gets exaggerated. I know that my own
mother certainly doesn't remember the details of our development, and my
brother's late talking seems to get later with each retelling.

By the same token, my parents truly remember my sister speaking in full
sentences at a year.  Well, maybe, but I've sure never met a kid who did.
 (And she doesn't believe it either, I might add.)  And sometimes
incredible precociousness in one area is evidence of a potential problem,
too.  (My own son could carry a tune perfectly before he could talk, and
could modulate pitch so that he could finish any song --with la las-- on
key.)

I have read a great deal about child development, and I have spoken with
many experts in that field and in speech pathology.  Normal children talk
by age two, generally.  Some are certainly on the "other end of the bell
curve."  But past three isn't even on that curve.  A verbal  three year
old should be relating stories.  An average one should be stringing
together two or three words.

Lots of kids are slow talkers.  And lots of kids who CAN talk don't do it
much; after all, some are just plain shy.  But a three year old who can't
even make all the requisite sounds needed has a problem.

And finally, to repeat the point I made before: HOW CAN IT HURT TO FIND
OUT?  It does hurt a child if they need help and don't get it. But what
point is there to waiting to find out?  There is NO point.  Parents grasp
at the advice of friends, relatives and pediatricians to wait for only
one reason: they're afraid to get another opinion.  It's better if they
just find out for sure. Then they can either help their child and learn
how to navigate the system on his or her behalf, or they've bought some
peace of mind.		

I have always regretted not acting sooner on my child's behalf. Those
friends and relatives who urged patience feel really lousy about
placating our (valid) fears.  If the test results had been negative, I
would have been thrilled, and certainly would have slept easier at night.

If you don't have a child with developmental problems, or haven't been
through this with a friend or family member, you really don't know what
you're talking about.  And family lore of a relative who was incredibly
late at talking (or walking or any other important developmental
milestone) simply isn't a good reason for giving this kind of advice.

I don't think I overreact on this subject.  I wish that someone had given
me this advice when my son was just two.

Enough said.  If anyone wants to continue this, they should send me
e-mail.

Lisa Lewis
Newsgroups: misc.kids