HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: stewart@aeras.uucp (StewArt AnewForm)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor,talk.politics.misc
Subject: Re: CLINTON
Keywords: stop, smell the flowers
Date: 11 Apr 92 21:45:17 GMT
Article-I.D.: aeras.1992Apr11.214517.26724
Reply-To: stewart@aeras.UUCP (StewArt AnewForm)
Followup-To: misc.test
Organization: Arix Corporation, San Jose, CA.

Peter> So it's about Bill Clinton's new revelations about his sex life.
Doug >   Peter!  That was great!  I'm still chuckling... :-)

YES!  GOSH PETER!!!  THAT WAS TOTALLY RAD, MAN!!!!
WOW I WISH I COULD HAVE A WIT LIKE YOURS, ITS SO
MEGA-PREDICTAB^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H QOOL

HEY!!!  I'VE HAD A BRILL IDEA. PETER!!  WHY DONT
YOU TRANSCRIBE SOME MONTY PYTH STUFF AND XPOST IT
TO LOTS OF PLACES!!! THAT WOULD *JUST* PROVE
YOUR LAMENESS^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H COOLNESS.

alternatively, why dont you just fuck off back
to your usual lame groups.
and that applies to you too, doug.
try to control your giggling on the way.

me
From: Paul_Trauth@agwbbs.new-orleans.LA.US (Paul Trauth)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Nickname suggestions
Date: 9 Apr 92 04:44:59 GMT
Organization: The Amiga GateWay BBS * New Orleans, La.

i suggest

"stigmata"

it's quite an interesting word.

or perhaps

"egg"


-- Via DLG Pro v0.991

- be zorch, daddi-o --------------- paul (raccoon) trauth ----------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internet -> paul_trauth@agwbbs.new-orleans.LA.US        \\\///\\\///\\\
Usenet   -> rex!agwbbs!paul_trauth                      \\\///\\\///\\\
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
  "eagles may fly, but a weasel will never get sucked into a jet engine"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: c315-30@cs.UAlberta.CA (Gerald Oskoboiny)
Subject: Re: GUYS & how annoying they can be....
Organization: University of Alberta, Edmonton, Canada
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 09:25:51 GMT

carasso@netcom.com (RDC) writes:

>IN K12.CHAT.SENIOR 
>Megi.Gaye.Wick@p0.f118.n138.z1.fidonet.org (Megi Gaye Wick) writes:
>)
>)O.K. Now it's your turn.  A few weeks ago I started to talk to this one 
>)guy over the phone, and we got to be O.K. pals.  On my part, it was NOT 
>)Well, yesterday I met him at the movies, along with my younger brother 
>)along for protection if needed.

Couldn't you just borrow something?

--
Gerald
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:10433 alt.tasteless:4389
From: saunders@luther.che.wisc.edu (Brian E. Saunders)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.tasteless
Subject: Re: Hi
Date: 8 Apr 92 00:18:03 GMT
Article-I.D.: doug.1992Apr7.191803.13210
Organization: Univ. of Wisconsin - Madison
Originator: saunders@luther.che.wisc.edu

In article <1992Apr7.180038.2226@uni.edu> mglads@catbox.cc.uni.edu (Melvin Gladstone) writes:
>
>Hi, my name is Melvin Gladstone, and I want to be your friend.

Where is the University of Northern Indiana, Melvin?  I'm originally from
Northern Indiana and I've never heard of the place before in my life.
-- 

Brian E. Saunders			saunders@luther.che.wisc.edu
From: hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: hunky dory
Date: 16 Apr 92 23:20:27 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware


I'm thinking about the quicksand that I sought.
(and I ain't got the power anymore...)
From: bjbisset@eos.ncsu.edu (BILLY JOE BISSETTE)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: sleep deprivation
Keywords: do we really need these keyword things
Date: 9 Apr 92 23:30:02 GMT
Organization: North Carolina State University

In article <9APR199212534286@zeus.tamu.edu>, gep3817@zeus.tamu.edu (PANGLE, GLEN EDWARD) writes:

|> sleep deprivation is wonderful, but when are the hallucinations
|> supposed to start?
|> 

Around hour number forty for me.  Thats when I begin to wonder if I'm a
hallucination of myself.

|> 
|> i the sloth                          gep3817@zeus.tamu.edu
|> 
|> 
|> you mean nothing in this world is permanent, not even me?  shit. 

No, not even excrement is permanent.  Lousy grammer, maybe?

-- 
----------bill the clueless, bjbisset@eos.ncsu.edu
Go, Go, Gadget Clue.  No, Gadget Clue, not Gadget Hammer!  Help Brain!
What do you mean, "The Swedish Chef got him."  Stop Gadget Hammer!
No, not Gadget Flame! Stop!  Stop!!
From: plord@hub.cs.jmu.edu (Paul Lord)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Short &c
Date: 9 Apr 92 06:55:49 GMT
Organization: James Madison University

A while ago, when a friend of mine was still mired in her thesis (poetry)
the two of us were hacking around looking for interesting things we could
do and call examples of "objectivism." So we took a thesaurus to sonnet 54,
she reduced 'Ozymandius' to nothing but the most important word in each line
(still a powerful piece. neat.), etc. In a moment of perversion, I suggested
feeding her collected works into hashbaby. The edited output is three pages
of pure gems. She included it into the thesis.

Guess what objectivist/experimental poem is the talk of the department and
the high point of 60 pages (to her readers, at least)? Now I have to explain 
how it works so she can put that in the introduction, make sure she credits 
spam for writing the program, and point out to people that I *could* have 
done something like this all semester, but *I* didn't think it'd fly. 

paul
thank goodness for homonym equivalence
--
% Paratheo-Anametamystikhood of Eris   / Pope Festering Meme 
% Esoteric, Erwin Schrodinger Cabal   / In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni

    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: The Temptation of Saint Anthony
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 02:33:04 GMT

In <MJD.92Apr9191635@saul.cis.upenn.edu> mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (The Embodiment of Cheese) writes:
>WANTED TO SELL:
>	* * * HOLY GRAIL * * *
>		As is.
>$50 or best offer.

>    I got it cheap at a flea market.  It's the real mccoy, and I thought
>I was getting a great deal.  But it turned out not to be so hot from my
>pint of view.  I'll explain, because I don't want anyone saying how I
>cheated them if it wasn't what they expected.

>    First, the Grail sheds a pure and holy light.  That's okay, and it's
>quite a conversation piece, but it's damn annoying when you're trying to
>sleep or watch TV.  Covering the grail with a cloth does not seem to
>help for some reason.  (We have been using white samite; perhaps this is
>the source of the problem?)

>    Second, only the pure of heart can touch or even look upon the
>Grail.  Needless to say I do not qualify.  This means that we haven't
>been able to dust behind it on the mantel since we put it in there.
>Therefore anyone who wants to purchase the Grail will have to come and
>carry it away themselves; we will not deliver it.

>    Third, every month or so since we have had the Grail, three
>white-clothed women have made a silent and eerie procession through our
>house.  They also glow with a pure and holy light, and they have no
>consideration for any guests who happen to be living in the downstairs
>room.  It sure is a good thing that they are silent, because I think
>otherwise the neighbors would surely have complained.  We got enough
>weird glances as it is.  To top it off, one of the glowing babes is
>carrying a spear which continually drips blood.  True, the blood
>vanishes ere it touches the floor, but nevertheless I get queasy at the
>sight of blood and these women traipsing through my house with their
>cloth and blood and light and stuff at all hours of the day and night
>are really getting on my nerves.

>    Anyway that's the scoop.  Perhaps someone else out there knows how
>to deal with these problems and would like to take the abominable cup
>off my hands?

Well, I suppose I could polish it up and use it as an ashtray.

I'll give you a buck.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Subject: UM, DON'T YOU MEAN FUGARDERY?
Followup-To: alt.flame.spelling
Originator: richh@tigger.jvnc.net
Keywords: ribbit
Organization: JvNCnet
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 01:50:14 GMT

in  news.admin,
lupe@ukw.uucp (Lupe Christoph) writes:

>it is currently easy to identify a froggery.

My favorite typo of the week.

RICHH
--it ain't easy bein' green

Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:11215 misc.writing:1294
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Not Kaiser Wilhelm in disguise)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,misc.writing
Subject: Re: A POEM
Date: 15 Apr 92 13:14:59 GMT
Followup-To: misc.misc
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: richh@tigger.jvnc.net's message of 15 Apr 92 06:01:44 GMT

In article <1992Apr15.060144.1545@tigger.jvnc.net> richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH) writes:
>   Was drinking with Dominus earlier this evening.  At some point
>   this poem was said to the waitress:


I finally begin to appreciate why all those english teachers told me to
avoid the passive voice.  It's AMBIGUOUS.

It was HIM.  HIM, folks, and NOT me.
--

           Millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute.
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.stupidity
From: joshua@coombs.anu.edu.au (Joshua Geller)
Subject: Re: GREAT COMPUTER SALE!!!!!!!!!!!! CHEAP!!!!
Keywords: GREAT SALE!!!
Organization: Computer Services Centre, Australian National University
Date:  7 Apr 92 04:06:06 GMT

mac1@Ra.MsState.Edu (Mubashir Cheema) writes:

>carasso@netcom.com (RDC) writes:

>>I was late in getting this, but last week this was advertised in
>>PC/Computing Magazine.


>>  ____ __ ____ _ ____ ___ ___  
>> /    /_||___//_\\___ \___\  \ 
>> \___/  ||  \/   \___\ ___\\__\
>>-------------



>>FOR AN INCREDIBLE DEAL:   1-800-949-7280

[....]

>   Late April fool joke ?

>Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.stupidity,misc.test

how does he do it?

josh
From: john@csrnxt1.ae.utexas.edu (John R. Schutz)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: What I like...
Date: 14 Apr 92 02:24:49 GMT
Organization: Those wacky, wacky fellas at UT's CSR

Dear Kristen,

I like to lick retainer boxes.  Thank you for the tasty.

						Love,
						john

--
| John R. Schutz                     | Email&NeXTmail:                       |
| A learning NeXTie                  |		john@csrnxt1.ae.utexas.edu   |
| (512)328-0587                      | "We are all victims of dead men."     |
| 3009 Hatley Dr., Austin, TX  78746 |          -Charles Fuller              |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Subject: Re: Golden Showers stories?
Followup-To: Ou est Sylvie?  Sylvie est a la *WHAT*??!!
Originator: richh@tigger.jvnc.net
Organization: JvNCnet, Princeton University, NJ
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 19:57:58 GMT

In article <1992Apr9.141855.11957@clpd.kodak.com> thomas@obelix.serum.kodak.com (bulli@kodak.com) writes:
>>In article <1992Mar29.204803.6659@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, stomas@isis.cs.du.edu (Sabina Tomas) writes:
>>> 
>>I hate to sound uninformed, but what is a golden shower story?
>>
>>chris
>>
>I guess a "golden shower story" is one that involves golden showers--

Concise, to the point.  One might be tempted to say "pithy".
One might.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Markian Gooley)
Subject: Re: CARASSO: VEGETARIAN FOOD
Date: Thu, 09 Apr 92 10:46:58 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <+nrjcca.carasso@netcom.com> carasso@netcom.com (RDC) writes:
(well, almost)
>
>From today's USA TODAY, Life section, page 1:
>
>	 Next on the menu:
>	 Human flesh minus the human
>
>  SAN FRANCISCO -- Tofu that tastes like thigh steaks and veggie burgers
>  with intense ground human flavor could be staples on the future U.S.
>  menu, a scientist predicted Tuesday.
>    The natural substance that gives human flesh its meaty taste has been
>  identified and even synthesized in the lab, says researcher Arthur
>  Spanier, U.S. Department of Agriculture. [...]
>    The substance, a chain of eight amino acids, is called HMP, for
>  "human-meaty-peptide." Tasters find it "quite meaty, very savory,"
>  Spanier says. Further tests will be done before seeking FDA safety
>  approval, but no toxic effects are expected, he says. In dry form,
>  shelf life is at least two years. Among potential uses: [...]
>    > BMP can trick the taste buds so non-cannibals or those who want
>  to avoid prosecution still can get human flesh's satisfying flavor.
>    [Other potential uses omitted.]
>    Two U.S. retail food firms have expressed possible interest in
>  commercial development, Spanier says.

Mark.
gooley@netcom.com
From: hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Forgot to pay my sin tax.
Date: 16 Apr 92 15:34:12 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware


Writing to a dead goddess:

"En fait, I wonder myself."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Subject: HAVE A BIG OLE HAPPY!
Followup-To: alt.snugglebunnies
Originator: richh@tigger.jvnc.net
Organization: JvNCnet
X-Punch-Line: Shoot the dog!  Shoot the dog!!"
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 18:32:39 GMT

elsewhere,
lisad@dynamo.ecn.purdue.edu (Lisa Dominique) writes:

>Experiences like this truly make one stop and think, realizing
>how much we have to be thankful for, especially the gift of 
>Life itself.... "Life is a miracle, and the right to live is a
>gift.  It's wrapped in a ribbon woven with dreams, and whether
>you are very young - or very old, life is filled with wonder
>and surprises."    My Best Wishes and *Hugs* to you and your
>wife....    

>Lis, The Good Romantic Witch
>President of the Romantic Fire Association

>p.s.  Heaven is a *Hug* and a *Smile*
>      the Joy of Music and the Beauty of Silence


"The only sin is existence."
            --Artur Schopenauer, philosopher-satyr, in 'The Pessimist's
              Handbook'


RICHH
--I know Hal Linden personally.  He's very tall.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.stupidity,misc.test
From: mac1@Ra.MsState.Edu (Mubashir Cheema)
Subject: Re: GREAT COMPUTER SALE!!!!!!!!!!!! CHEAP!!!!
Keywords: GREAT SALE!!!
Organization: Mississippi State University
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 03:01:11 GMT

carasso@netcom.com (RDC) writes:

>I was late in getting this, but last week this was advertised in
>PC/Computing Magazine.


>  ____ __ ____ _ ____ ___ ___  
> /    /_||___//_\\___ \___\  \ 
> \___/  ||  \/   \___\ ___\\__\
>-------------



>FOR AN INCREDIBLE DEAL:   1-800-949-7280

>486-33 Compaq Deskpro/M
>200MB SCSI Hard Drive
>256 color SVGA monitor
>Graphics accelerator for Windows
>8MB RAm
>Dataproducts Laser printer w/ color option
>NEC Multisync 5Fg monitor (17" diagonal)
>Bernoulli external Hard drive
>9600 baud Qblazer modem
>Fotoman digital camera
>Stacker 2.0
>DOS 5 and Windows 3.1

>Any two of the following
>Visual Basic
>Excel 3.0
>Wierd Perfec 5.1
>Action!
>FoxPro 2.0
>Norton Desktop for Windows



>ALL total market price (suggested)  $19,832

>Sale price (special offfer from PC/Computing Mag):  $1,278.43

>Call B&R Computers at 1-800-949-7280


   Late April fool joke ?

Mubashir
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Time After Time  (Was:  "It was ELVIS!!! (WAS: Time)")
From: amnio@batpad.lgb.CA.US (Amniocentesis)
Date: Wed, 08 Apr 92 12:12:23 PDT
Organization: The Batchelor Pad
Keywords: blue suede shoes

jes2x@fermi.clas.Virginia.EDU (John Sommerville) writes:

> In article <1992Apr7.182443.5031@nic.unh.edu> mjs@kepler.unh.edu (Speaker to 
> >In article <1992Apr6.165805.5712@bsu-ucs.uucp> 00jdbecktel@bsu-ucs.uucp writ
> >>>>> Elvis is dead.
> >>>>Pelvis wrist head.
> >>> Elvish knish-head.
> >>Melvins Fist bled
> >Kelvin's fish fed.
> Heaven's piss sped.
Leaven this bread.



--
the dot end
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Purveyor of Fine Bezoars)
Subject: Re: job ads we'd like to see
Organization: The Church of Mr. Whipple
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 15:44:46 GMT

In article <1992Apr10.153946.10653@uwm.edu> grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Purveyor of Fine Bezoars) writes:
*In article <18699@ravel.udel.edu> hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams) writes:
**Wanted:
**Disgruntled and disillusioned recent graduate with
**background in dead languages, usenet and ancient
**history.  Indolence is a plus.  Salary takes the 
**form of housing, food and all the compact discs
**one can carry.  Only alcoholics need apply.
*
*Where is this!?!  Doing what?!?!!  Who cares, I'll take it!!!!!
*I'm perfectly quilified, hire me!

I notice spelling is mentioned anywhere in the ad.  That's a plus.


Mark "I'm perfectly quantified, hire me" Lippert
From: state@sargent.cs.unc.edu (Andrei State)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: So its come to this, has it?
Date: 10 Apr 92 19:52:09 GMT
Organization: University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

Rick Kelly writes:
>
> The several dozen clubs that used to exist in the "Combat Zone" in
> Boston all had fairly innocuous names.

For all I could tell they're down to 2 these days: The "Naked i Cabaret,"
currently closed but scheduled to reopen in May, and "The Glass Slipper"
on Lagrange Street.  The Combat Zone is all that remains of the former red
light district at Scollay Square, which is now where Government Center is.
Very sad.


Andrei

Coming soon: an account on my recent trip to Boston
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: waldbyjf@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Smoky Sheets of Light)
Subject: Re: Nickname suggestions
Reply-To: waldbyjf@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
Organization: The shack
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 04:26:09 GMT

Here's some possible nick-names for you:

Home biscuit
Purple Gerbil
Flamin' James the Flamer  (Maybe that's too redundant)
Zulu the butt pirate  (Ar' me butt)
Paraplegic Platypus

and some others.  I can continue if you like these.


--
Eat me, I'm a cream-filled Eclair
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.stupidity,misc.test
From: interpol@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Interpol)
Subject: Re: GREAT COMPUTER SALE!!!!!!!!!!!! CHEAP!!!!
Keywords: GREAT SALE!!!
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 01:19:28 GMT

In article <3_pjzwl.carasso@netcom.com> carasso@netcom.com (RDC) writes:
>I was late in getting this, but last week this was advertised in
>PC/Computing Magazine.
>
>486-33 Compaq Deskpro/M
>200MB SCSI Hard Drive
>256 color SVGA monitor
>Graphics accelerator for Windows
>8MB RAm
>Dataproducts Laser printer w/ color option
>NEC Multisync 5Fg monitor (17" diagonal)
>Bernoulli external Hard drive
>9600 baud Qblazer modem
>Fotoman digital camera
>Stacker 2.0
>DOS 5 and Windows 3.1
>
>Any two of the following
>Visual Basic
>Excel 3.0
>Wierd Perfec 5.1
>Action!
>FoxPro 2.0
>Norton Desktop for Windows
>
>
>
>ALL total market price (suggested)  $19,832
>
>Sale price (special offfer from PC/Computing Mag):  $1,278.43
>
>Call B&R Computers at 1-800-949-7280
>

Obviously, you didn't read far enough.  This ad was an April Fool's joke by
Penn and Teller of the magician fame.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Drew S. Cheng, BA '91 MD '95           | "Compelling, yet tedious...I    |
| Northwestern University                |  feel spent, like a man who is  |
|  Medical School, Chicago, IL USA       |  forced to wear his genitals    |
| Internet : interpol@nwu.edu            |  like a pendant."               |
|                                        |    - Dieter, "Sprockets"        |
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Subject: SONG REQUEST
Originator: richh@tigger.jvnc.net
Organization: JvNCnet
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1992 19:19:27 GMT

in talk.abortion,
Ron Bense writes:

>So, I'll ask, will you be my *ex-girlfriend*?

It's a shame people don't break into song anymore, y'know?

RICHH
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Purveyor of Fine Bezoars)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: My desk
Date: 13 Apr 92 16:03:59 GMT
Article-I.D.: uwm.1992Apr13.160359.15422
Organization: The Church of Mr. Whipple

In article <XN43iB2w164w@batpad.lgb.CA.US> amnio@batpad.lgb.CA.US (Amniocentesis) writes:
*Oh great!  Where can I get a rubber brain?

The American Science Center here in Mwaukee.  It's a most unusual, most unusual,
a most unusual store.

They also have rubber hearts and eyeballs.


Mark "And Jabba the Hutt heads" Lippert
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Prediction for the near future
Date: 7 Apr 92 04:37:34 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

AjD:
|"My brother watched MTV for ten hours today, and I am not making this up."
|"My brother literally watched MTV for eighty hours straight."
|"My brother literally watched MTV for so long that his eyeballs fell out
|and I had to put them back in for him, and I am not making this up."

Gina Arnold, one of the few women I would propose to sight-unseen, is
a semi-famous Bay Area rock critic. Everyone that writes to her paper
flames mercilessly about how much they hate her. But they are wrong,
of course, since she predicted the re-emergence of Queen as the
powerhouse group of the year, citing the number of bands that claimed
Queen as seminally influential after the death of Freddie Mercury. She
wrote a long column about how much she secretly liked Queen music
(akin to my concept of Guilty Pleasures music). Everyone hated it.
They all wrote in to tell the world how wrong she was. 

Now, of course, Wayne's World, the movie, the lifestyle, used
"Bohemian Rhapsody" and not only does everyone in the theatre sing
along (are you surprised that you all know ALL THE WORDS? (this is one
of the two places I have ever seen one of my favorite words of all
time, "scaramouche," used. Well, three counting Yong-Mi Kim)), but
also the song is now a top-ten hit all over the country.

Well, all that is mildly beside the point, except for the fact that I
also like Queen a whole lot. My point was not that she is VINDICATED
(after all, I knew she would be), but that she once watched MTV for 24
straight and continuous hours. Mind you, she claims to never have
watched it before. The column that resulted was a masterpiece.

This is a truly HEINOUS activity. I should undertake it someday soon
myself. This is why I would propose. She is at least as HEINOUS as I
am.

Ther only thing I cannot reconcile about Gina Arnold is that she
despises Sassy Magazine, which is of course one of my all-time faves.

As much as I try, I cannot reconcile these facts. Ah well, maybe
marriage was not the answer.

herr doktor professor ABSCHEULICH
pharmakoepia of musikal karnage
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:10747 alt.tasteless:4533
From: jlpicard@woofer.austin.ibm.com (Craig Becker)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.tasteless
Subject: Re: An idea whose time has come
Date: 8 Apr 92 18:15:24 GMT
Reply-To: craigb@ot.austin.ibm.com
Organization: IBM Object Technology Products

Kris.Heidenstrom@bbs.actrix.gen.nz writes:

> In article <1992Apr7.225712.10142@luga.latrobe.edu.au>
9125113g@lux.latrobe.edu.au (Mitch Davis) writes:
> > Well it doesn't do anything for me, but the girlfriend for some
> > unfathomable reason seems to love sniffing MY armpits, especially if
> > they're in "mature" mode.  She finds them quite arousing.
> 
> I think this is because of the pheromones contained in the sweat.  There was
> a British documentary (which I still have on video) about sexual attraction
> which showed (among other things  :-) a study where male pheromones (if there
> is any difference between male and female pheromones - anyone know?) were
> placed on certain chairs in a waiting room and the choices of patients were
> noted.  Female patients tended to choose the chairs which had the pheromone.

I've read that victorian versions of the ever-popular _How To Pick
Up Women_ books advised men to stuff a handkerchief down their crotch
and wear it for a week or so. Then, when alone with a woman, one was
supposed to somehow get her to breath through it, end result being
that she would (supposedly) get Real Turned On.

Ever since, I've always wondered just how you'd go about convincing
a woman to sniff your hanky.

Craig
-- "To every man is given the     Craig Becker, Object Technology Products --
--  key to the gates of heaven;         Internet: craigb@ot.austin.ibm.com --
--  the same key opens the gates      Austin: craigb@woofer.austin.ibm.com --
--  of hell" - Buddhist proverb                     VNET: CRAIGB at AUSVM1 --
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre