From: popec@fennec.sccsi.com (William C. Barwell)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Quayle
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 92 09:20:53 CST
Organization: Fennec Information Systems, The World View Magazine

There is an article in the August 25th issue of 'The New york Village 
Voice' entitled 'Caught In The Headlights' 'bout lil Danny. Actually it 
is as much about the dissolution of the Republican Party as anything 
else.  Pat Robertson's Christian Coalitian is making great inroads into 
the republican party, and guess who their favorite Republican Politicain 
is?  You got it. Dan Quayle.  It will be interesting to see if they can 
keep it up until 1994, pardon me, 1996.  Apparently the 'newly 
introduced' Quayle may not be totally politically dead even if they both 
go down to flaming defeat.  We may just have Dan to kick around for some 
time yet.
........................................................................
  When Dan Quayle wants his kids Corrine and Tucker to absorb some good 
family values, he sits them down in front of Bible Study Audiocassettes 
recorded by R. B. Thieme, (Pronounced Teem), pastor of Houston's Berachah 
Church, a minister known to sometimes awe the faithful by showing up for 
a sermon in full military uniform.
................
  This church bears no cross, eschews any stained glass or solemn 
statuary, and settles for a down-to-business, gym like auditorium.
.........
N  No traditional prayer is uttered. a simple rousing a cappella 
rendition of "Onward Christian Soldiers!".  Then Paster Thieme fires up 
the overhead projector mounted on the dias and reminds all that it is 
"time for good manners, no unnecassary talking, or needless movements."
No sir, because we are, he says, "about tyo begin this morning's serious 
study of God's word.
  On that cue the worshippers, from wrinkled septuagenarians to the 
squads of teenaged girls with their honey-blond hair piled high like 
swabs of cotton candy, dutifully whip out steno pads, notebooks, and 3 
ring binders.
  For the next hour, hundreds of pens and pencils screeched and 
scratched, straining mightily to keep up with the pastor's seemingly 
endless torrent of comments on Proverbs 29:18.  As he doodled in Hebrew 
script on the projector, interspersed with charts on the paths to 
righteousness - including a chart of how the spiritual DNA inside the 
sperm cell can determine one's chance of entering heaven _ Pastor Thieme 
sprinkled his monologue with computer terminology, (load some 
spirituality into your ROM chips), military jargon, (the Frontlines of 
Truth), and even some verbal genuflection towards the New Age, (Maximum 
Metabolized Doctrine).
  And watching all of these people writng all this down and pondering the 
fact that they were actually going to go home and study these notes, 
makes you think that no matter what the polls say, Bush and Quayle may be 
with us another 4 years.
Because though the sermon, overall, was as loopy as a Lyndon La Rouche 
lecture on Laser Beam Weapons, a chrystal clear political message shown 
through.  This wasn't your usual pie in the sky jeramiad, but was rather 
a an at once theological and pseudosciencific "arguement" for the 
Republican National Platform.
.................................... N.Y. Village Voice Aug 25, 1992

God > Rev "Bob" Thieme > Dan and Marylin Quayle > you and me.
Guess you can't argue with Gawd, huh?  See you in 1996

----------------
William C. Barwell [popec@fennec.sccsi.com]  //  Pope Charles
Pope Of the Church Of The SubGenius for the Golden Triangle Area
Laughing at everything in the Universe...including the concept of 
laughing at everything in the Universe!
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