From: rwarren@vax2.concordia.ca (Rosemary from Montreal)
Subject: clarification (was Re: how to get to root of strange behavior)
Summary:  i never gave him any $$$
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Concordia University
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 20:30:00 GMT

In article <Qf=ddOi00XsFRV=EUU@andrew.cmu.edu>, David O Hunt <bluelobster+@CMU.EDU> writes...
> 
>And my SO says:
> 
>You have all of the information you need. He lies. He uses you for
>financial reasons (i.e. he steals). 
despite requests for it, i have never lent him any money.  a small 
anecdote to show you how much it ticks me off:  we were in a shop that sold 
postcards of singers.  i picked out one of each that they had of michael 
and janet jackson.  there were 6.  i paid for them and thought nothing of 
the bill.  when we got outside, the bill said i'd been charged for 7.  i 
mentioned this casually to sunday, saying the store had counted wrong.  he 
answered "no they didn't -- i got one too, remember?"  he had put his 
postcard in with mine, the bill was tallied, i paid it and then outside the 
store he took his card out of the bag.  technically, i had bought his 
postcard.

yes he did eventually (grudgingly) pay me back the 99 cents -- along with the 
$12-something from the day he broke my watch chain.  but he thinks i'm 
filthy rich (mainly because i live in a no-mortgage house and i gross more 
money in one job than he does juggling -- at last count -- 3) and he expects 
me to pay for everything if we do go out 
together -- right down to his bus fare, i can remember one night.  (no he 
found his bus pass, i was off the hook)

>Of COURSE you love him. You fell in love with him honestly. But he doesn't
>love you now...IF he ever did. 
did i not mention how the night we met (almost exactly 4 years ago) he could 
do not much more than 
passionately kiss me?  on the lips, no less.  and how he held me so tightly 
i thought i would burst?  and how when i got home, mom told me my last 
sweetheart had called and said they didn't want anymore to do with me?  
(mainly due to a newly-met fiance who was -- i was originally told -- a 
pimp) and how much this guy -- who claimed to have gone to school with me, 
despite (i later learned) living in nigeria and attending a boys-only 
school -- made me feel wanted and loved and that "god sent me to him"?  

yes he loved me once.  no he never seemed to show it -- or maybe this is 
the way in nigeria?  i don't know.

>Some men know a "free ride" (no, I'm not
>talking about sex, here, though that may be a part of it, too), and some
>men are very, very good at finding these free rides.
another thing i wouldn't give sunday!  (much to his dismay)  yes i would 
kiss him (i can hear my mother muttering "how can you kiss that ugly <insert 
racial expletive here>") and rub his back (fun for me, but always seemed to 
frustrate him) and if i continue on this line this post may get bumped over 
to alt.sex.chicken (as in scared, not as in fowl).  i didn't want to be
another unmarried mother with a half-breed whiner (he'd really disappear 
then, even though he loves kids), and birth control would 
not make the sex act any less meaningful/painless/problem-free in my mind.  
one big reason i 
would not give in is that he would start getting rough.  he has never hit 
me -- although i have smacked him a couple of times and threatened to chop 
off various male parts -- but when underwear starts tearing and you know 
the size of the contents of his briefs you get scared. 
(no he didn't replace any underwear, although bras my size can run expensive) 
any example i 
would give of treating the other person gently would not be well received.
if all men act like this in bed i'm switching to the ladies.

>Trust me. You don't need
>it. It hurts now, and it will go on hurting and hurting and hurting until
>you've finally had enough. If you love YOURSELF at all, take David's advice.
>DUMP HIM.
yep, i've heard that from just about everyone.  one person started off 
saying "don't dump him" but then seemed to change their mind partway 
through.  i guess when i first met sunday he reminded me of me with my last 
sweetheart:  so starry-eyed innocent, wanting to spend as much time 
possible with their beloved, wanting to hear their voice and see their face 
constantly.  some of the things he's said to me i've said, word for word, to 
other people!

i must end this before all your news readers runneth over.
"I just want you to recognize me in the temple ..."
	Michael Jackson, "Jam"

Rosemary Warren         rwarren@topaz.concordia.ca
Montreal's Favorite Jacksonmaniac !!!