From: kgowen@cie.uoregon.edu (Kevin Gowen)
Newsgroups: rec.games.chess
Subject: Son of E-Chess (was: Re: E-level Chess to enjoy)
Date: 17 Dec 1992 14:28:15 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon Campus Information Exchange
NNTP-Posting-Host: cie.uoregon.edu
Summary: F Chess!!
Keywords: zap, pow!

After reading Kenneth Sloan's delightful article on E Chess, I decided I 
can do him one better: F Chess!  Just like E Chess, but even lower.  
Full of rock 'em, sock 'em, bare-knuckled, no holds barred action.  See: 
Ferocious attacks, backed up with nothing except wishful thinking!  
Watch: Pieces thrown away with reckless abandon!  Experience: ignoring 
even the most basic positional nuances!  It's wild!  It's crazy!  It's 
Chess As God Intended It!  It's F Chess!!
 
 
With all that in mind, I reached back into my archives and pulled out 
this, ahem, jewel.  My notes say I played it in 1972.  I remember that 
as the year I first started to take chess seriously.  Of course, lots of 
people in the United States started taking chess seriously in 1972.  
This game was played via amateur radio one Saturday afternoon, so I 
never saw my opponent face to face.  It was a "Wireless Match", if you 
will.  I don't even remember the guy's name.  Just his call sign.
  
WHITE: wb6brm (that's me)
BLACK: wa6dgx
 
  1. e4             Nf6            
  2. d3             b6             
  3. Nf3            Bb7            
  4. e5             Nd5            
  5. d4             g6             
  6. Nc3            Nb4            
  7. a3             N4c6           
  8. Bc4            Bg7            
  9. Ng5            e6
  
  OK, so I can't hit his f-pawn with my bishop/knight tag team, so let's 
  try for a cheapo checkmate:
 
 10. Qf3            O-O    
 
 I think he's on to my clever scheme.  In which case, let's bang on his 
 h-pawn.
 
 11. Qh3            h5
 
 I guess that didn't work, either.  Oh well.
 
 12. O-O?           Nxd4           
 13. Nb5?           Nxc2           
 14. Ra2            Bxe5           
 
 Alright, so I'm three pawns down.  What's the big deal?  
 
 Remember, this is F chess, where one of the rules is, pawns don't 
 matter except in the endgame when they're *all* that matters...
 
 15. Bb3            Nd4            
 16. Bc4            d5             
 17. Bd3            Nb3            
 18. Be3            d4             
 19. Nf3            Bf6            
 20. Bh6            Re8            
 21. Nh4?           Bxh4           
 
 Oops.  I just gave away a whole piece.  It was at this point that I 
 finally got around to counting up points, and only now did I realize I 
 was in deep bandini.
 
 22. Re1            Ba6            
 23. a4             Qd5?
 24. Nxc7              
 
 I want everyone to look at this.  Not only has Black hung his dark- 
 squared bishop, but what's even funnier, White's knight on c7 now forks 
 not two, not three, but *four* Black pieces.  Only in F chess do you 
 see such hilarious positions.
 
 When I made that move, I thought for sure I was destined to become 
 World Champion.
 
 24. ...            Qc6            
 25. Nxe8           Be7            
 26. Be4            ...
 
 Skewer that rook!  I felt like such a complete chess *genius*...
 
 26. ...            Qxe8           
 27. Bxa8           Nc6            
 28. Bxc6           Qxc6           
 29. Qxb3           g5             
 
  Now that the massacre was over, I toted up points and was feeling pretty 
  good about my game.  I knew that Bobby Fischer would be knocking on my 
  door any day now...
 
 30. Qh3            h4             
 31. Qg4            Qd5            
 32. Qh5??          Qxa2
 
 Well, I really didn't need that Rook, anyway.
 
 33. Bxg5           Bxg5           
 34. Qxg5+          Kf8            
 35. Qh6+           Ke8            
 36. Qh8+           Kd7            
 37. Qf8            Qxb2
 
 F Chess rule #26:  When in doubt, chase the other guy's king around and 
 maybe snarf a few pawns while you're at it.  Remember, if he gets a chance,
 he'll do the same to you.
 
 
 38. Qxf7+          Kd6            
 39. Qxa7           Bc4            
 40. Qb8+           Kc5            
 41. Qf4            d3             
 42. Qc1            Qxc1           
 43. Rxc1           Kb4            
 44. Rd1            Kc3            
 45. Rc1+           Kb2?
 
 Probably the fatal move.  Up to this point, Black has demonstrated that 
 he has played a better game, relatively speaking; look how far his pawns 
 are advanced and how active his king is, while White's king is still 
 stuck on g1 and none of the pawns in front have moved.
 
 Black thinks that his king was close enough to control the d1 queening 
 square without the bishop.  Who wants to waste time moving around
 another piece, anyway?  The game finishes up with an hilarious pawn 
 race and a final, crushing blow.
 
 46. Rxc4           d2             
 47. Rd4            Kc2            
 48. Rxd2+          Kxd2           
 49. g4             hxg3ep         
 50. hxg3           Kd3            
 51. g4             Ke4            
 52. Kg2            Kf4            
 53. f3             e5             
 54. Kh3            Kxf3
 55. g5             Kf4            
 56. Kh4?           ...
 
 Here's how the F chess mind works: "The Black king is adjacent to my 
 pawn.  Therefore, it is a threat."  Never mind whose move it is.  I 
 never saw that I could simply push it and Black could never catch up.
 However, as it turned out, waltzing up the ranks with the Black king
 resulted in a position which enabled me to win this game which I should
 have lost.

 56. ...            e4             
 57. g6             Kf5            
 58. Kh5            e3             
 59. g7             e2             
 60. g8=Q           e1=Q           
 61. Qf8+           ...
 
 Ah ha!  The last blow!  Black finally makes a mistake he can't recover 
 from.  So...
 
 61.                resigns        
 
The game lasted about 3 hours.  Never before had I played a chess game 
that lasted that long.  When it was over, I was sweating and exhausted, 
yet strangely exhilirated.  I think it must have been then that I 
realized that I would be hooked on chess for the rest of my life.
 
-kevin
kgowen@cie.uoregon.edu




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