From: chris@unicorn.resun.com (Chris Von Hendy)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: the "oh" experience
Date: 28 Aug 92 18:17:23 GMT
Reply-To: chris@unicorn.resun.com
Organization: Metalogic, S.a r.l.
X-Mailer: uAccess - Macintosh Release: 1.5v3


In article <1992Aug25.235623.18567@cbnews.cb.att.com> (soc.bi), eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (eleanor.j.evans) writes:
> 
> Whoops!  Reality check time...
> 
> In article <1992Aug21.101842.776@specialix.co.uk> kamal@specialix.co.uk (Kamal Mortoza) writes:
> >elf@halcyon.com (Omaha Sternberg) writes:
> >
> >  [...]. Jealosy is the product of insecurity...
> >If a relationship has trust - it becomes insignificant. In piglet's case,
> >where she isn't in a long term stable relationship - it will exist.
> 
> I don't really see length of time in the relationship as the 
> determining factor.  For me, it's careful selection of partners,
> and honesty that do the trick.

The same here.  I had a previous relationship that had gone on for a
long time (and over a long distance.)  The jealousy came after the
relationship was stable, but it de-stabilized the relationship to the
point that I had no choice but to break it off.  We had agreed to have
an open relationship at the beginning, I also told him I was bisexual
at this time.  He enjoyed the benefits of the openness, but became
jealousy if I so much as talked to another male or a female he knew was
into motss sex.  My current SO is much better.  We enjoy girl-watching
together with no problems, and although he will not boy-watch, he has
no problems with me commenting on cute males.  As near as I can tell,
this was true from day one of the relationship.

> >...You must however
> >accept that with one as young as piglet sounded, the possibility of a
> >deep stable trusting relationship - although not impossible - is unlikely
> >simply because there hasn't been enough time for one to form. 

I do not agree that just because a person is young it reduces the
possibility of a deep stable trusting relationship.  Not all people
take that much time to form such bonds.  Others are able to form them
when very young.  
> 
> Piglet's not really young.  But thank you, anyway.  Of course, she's
> not middle-aged, yet, either, just not a neophyte....  She almost,
> but not quite, can no longer be trusted.

Sounds to me like a perfect age. :-)
> 
> >>   Oh, I'll agree, that for ME anyway, threesomes can and are just as
> >>fulfilling, at times, as one on one lovemaking. But it's not the only
> >>way to go. There is the possibility that multiple relationships will
> >>work, because they work for me and my husband. Try them, and if they
> >>don't work, they don't work for you. Then try something else. Always
> >>expirement...because after all that is the only way one learns.

I fully and wholeheartedly agree with the above.  Also remember (in
cases where they don't work well) that the reason that threesome don't
work maybe that it was wrong for only  one of the participant.  This
might have been you or it might have been one of the others.

Hi Omaha, I hope that we get to see a lot more of you in the future. ;-) 
> 
> Hi, Omaha!  I quite enjoy threesomes--at least, I did the one time
> that could technically be called a threesome, but, might, on the
> other hand, be technically disqualified.  I hadn't learned to aggress
> sufficiently to find out if we could have moved in that direction,
> though I'm convinced we could have, and would if I'd been more bold.
> Or she'd been more bold.  He was bold enough for the both of us....
> (There's something amazing about sex with a couple...)

Hm, sounds like more testing is needed.  Shall we set up a lab? :-)
> 
> On the other hand, my first time (and, I assume, quite a number of
> subsequent times--when they occur--any volunteers?) with a woman,

Me, me, I'll volunteer.

> I _definitely_ did not want a man around.  I had reached an odd
> mental/physical state that I'd never achieved before, that's quite
> different from sex with two others.  Mixed others.  Or possibly just
> multiple others, I don't really know.  The situation is crying out
> for practical experimentation...

Well can't leave a situation crying, after all. :-)  Practical
experimentation does tend to present a few problems however.  Like time
and distance.
> 
> Piglet
> 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris Von Hendy            "If we shadows have offended,
Escondido, California       Think but this, and all is mended,
ncr-sd!blkhole!chris  or    That you have but slumbered here,
chris@unicorn.resun.com     While these visions did appear." Puck
Newsgroups: soc.bi