Newsgroups: alt.child-support
Subject: Re: I HAD NO CHOICE ( was: Biological reaso
From: lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 92 09:07:29 PST
Organization: The Old Coot's (Spare) Almanac

bobk@dogear.spk.wa.us (Bob Kirkpatrick) writes:

> jsw@cray.com (Jon S. Wood) writes:
> 
> >   The women who is sexually, mentally, and physically abused by her husband
> > should leave. Money and personal gain isn't on her list of priorities. 
> 
> No, but in many of these situations the women are also afraid of losing
> their child, worried about where to go and how to survive. I've also
> seen those who have a deep ingrained sense of loyalty --stand by your
> spouse-- no matter what. When I began dealing with family law cases, I 
> found myself amazed that people weren't aware of the services and alter-
> natives available to get them out of the circumstances they're in.
> 
> > No person needs to be abused.
> 
> Some masochists might disagree. (-:  <sorry, couldn't resist>
> 
> > Not all women are helpless.
> 
> But those who cannot extract themselves from abusive circumstances are
> a lot more helpless than you might imagine. If you think about it, the
> helplessness they manifest is defined by their inability to leave.
> 
> > It is also a crime to assault people.
> 
> It's also a crime to falsely accuse people, but it's becomming a very
> common facet of family law.
> 
> > Abuse awards no one, it punishes assualters for those who can prove it in 
> > court.
> 
> If it goes to court. Oftentimes it doesn't.
> 
> > Assault is punishable.
> > Mental abuse ISN"T. 
> > Mental abuse is a made for t.v. movie that display's women like feminists' 
> >  wish them to be; victims who need MORE rights than others. Personally, 
> >  I think feminists are mistaken. Women are much smarter than that.
> 
> Whoa. Mental abuse (more commonly called Emotional Abuse) has a prevalence
> in America unrivaled in any other country. It is an actionable offense, as
> you pointed out earlier, if it can be proven in court. Emotional abuse has
> many faces too. From telling someone repeatedly that they have no value,
> to making threats with no substance, but are believed by the victim. Emo-
> tional abuse is responsible for a tremendous amount of damage.
> 
> To label it as a "made for tv movie" is hardly accurate, Jon. The abuse is
> so destructive, that we're waking up to the fact that it's responsible for
> a significant portion of child suicides. Earlier this year I had a young
> boy as a client --he killed himself. His father wanted no part of him and
> his mother was an alcoholic. He made it clear that he believed that he had
> no value at all. Just when we got him placed with relatives, he committed
> suicide. Emotional abuse is no 'movie.'
> 
> > It is not a crime to claim large amounts of a husband's money because the 
> > boyfriends dick has more money (divorce awards women, punishes men all in
> > the name of children). The system isn't working Amy. 
> 
> That's more or less true. (I don't argue that the system is broken, but I
> take exception to your generalization.) PEOPLE are screwed by the family
> law system all the time. Men are, and women are. 
> 
> If it's at all possible, we need to try to focus the anger of our divorces
> towards the right party. Many of the women who use the system as a weapon
> do so with the encouragement of that system. If the law was intelligently
> written and approached, we'd see a lot less of the crap. Many of the men
> who used the system as a weapon --or it's loopholes to slide, do so again
> with the encouragement of the system. Action/reaction, cause/effect.
> 
> It's weird science, to be sure. But grant me this --the overall number of
> people hurt by our systems of family law vastly outweigh the feminists,
> conservatives, or traditionalists. To help them in their quest to keep
> the genders off balance and at each other's throats is a little foolish.
> 
     Bob,

     It's so very nice to see your posts on this net...Would you be
     willing to come up to Vancouver Island sometime to do a workshop,
     or similar, with some folks here who could, I think, benefit
     greatly from your insights?

> Happy Holidays!
> 
Merry Christmas and Happy '93 to you and yours, as well:-)

Lisa


               lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca (Lisa Lambeth)
                      The Old Coot's Almanac
               Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada
                    Courtesy the old coot hisse'f!
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