From: rjwill6@pbsdts.sdcrc.pacbell.com (Rod Williams)
Subject: Lesbian Parent Writes in NY Times
Originator: rjwill6@pbsdts.sdcrc.pacbell.com
Organization: Pacific * Bell, San Francisco
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 18:52:15 GMT


Along with their latest opinion poll that shows Poor Mr.
Bush to have lost whatever "bounce" he received from last
week's Republican National Hatefest (the Great American
Public is unaccountably more concerned about the economy
than "family values" and gay-baiting), The New York Times
(8/26/92) printed the following piece on the Op-Ed page:

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                 A FAMILY LIFE MUCH LIKE YOURS
       by Cindy Rizzo (associate director of development
           at Fenway Community Health Center, Boston)

I read my son a fairy-tale called "The Duke Who Outlawed
Jellybeans."  In the story, a young duke takes over a kingdom
while its rulers are out of town.  He starts issuing extreme
decrees, telling his subjects they can't have jellybeans
because he doesn't like them.  This culminates in a final
order: the rounding up of children who do not live with a
mother and a father.  "Since *I* grew up with a mother and a
father," he reasons, "I decree that this is the best kind of
family to grow up in."

A lot of politicians seem to be acting like the duke.  In the
guise of protecting our values, they are deciding which
families are worthy of praise -- and which are immoral.

Like most parents, I used to be concerned about how my
children would respond to violence and sexism on TV.  Last
week, I was more concerned that when my oldest son went
"channel surfing," he might stumble on the Republican
convention.

As lesbian parents, my partner and I try to make our children
understand that people may judge them on the basis of their
family.  Because they are very young, we are able to function
as their "advance people," making sure that the day-care
centers and schools we send them to are places that value
diversity.  But we also know that we have to prepare them for
the day when they will run into the Pat Buchanans and Dan
Quayles of the world, the grown-up versions of schoolyard
bullies or the real world jellybean dukes, who will try to
make them feel they are "less than" other kids.

Why do those who presume to value the family want to hurt my
kids?  Why do they want to tell them that their parents are
inferior people, undeserving of rights and unequal in the eyes
of God?

If I give these people the benefit of the doubt, I might say
that they hate us because they don't know us.  Often,
familiarity can breed tolerance and not contempt.  Perhaps if
they got to know my family, they'd see that in many ways it is
much like their own.

My partner and I have been together more than 14 years.  We
work full time and are rearing two sons, ages 6 and 6 months.
We rise early to get our older son ready for school.  We
change, feed and dress the baby and pack his bottles and
clothes for his day at child care.  We then go off in
different directions, each with a child.

After work, we pick up the kids and stre into the refrigerator,
wondering how we can construct a nutritious meal.  We play and
read to our kids before they go to bed.  (The baby will wake
up during the night for a feeding.)  After they go to sleep,
we do laundry, pay bills, unclutter the house and sometimes
watch TV.  (I confess, we do watch "Murphy Brown.")

Our weekends are spent shuttling our oldest to piano, soccer,
Sunday School and play dates.  We buy clothes and see movies
and sometimes get a babysitter and go out.

We also care about our community.  We go to meetings of
organizations (from the P.T.A. to the lesbian mothers group).
We see friends.  Our oldest son is in an overnight babysitting
group with the children from three other lesbian couples.  In
this way, he has made friends with children in similar
families.  He has learned that he is not the only kid with
lesbian moms.

In a world filled with violence and intolerance, it is hard
enough to rear children when you have to worry if they're
going to be safe each time you let them out to play.  You
wonder: Can I save enough money so my child can go to college,
have proper health care, travel when he's older?

These questions preoccupy most American parents, no matter
what their gender or sexual orientation.  Why, then, would
right-wing politicians be eager to impose an even heavier
burden on us?  Please now that you've gotten to know us a
little better, can you give my family and those like it a
break?  Do it for the children, if nothing else.

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rod williams -=- pacific bell -=- san francisco -=- rjwill6@pacbell.com
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