Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk (Clive Grace)
Subject: Re: New Age Androgynous Bisexuals...
Reply-To: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 10:31:00 +0000


This is a classic reason why I love reading postings by you Elf. I 
don't necessarily agree with your POV, but it makes good reading 
nonetheless.

>    What I don't want is androgynous bisexuals telling me that _I_
> discourage diversity because I appreciate distinctly masculine or
> distinctly feminine people.  That I'm not 'in touch' with my inner child.
> I hate to break it to people, but children are sociopathic and are
> capable of larger cruelties than we adults usually like to admit.  Or,
> as someone on soc.motss put it, "My inner child is a mean little
> fucker."

The  concept of the inner child is an often mis-quoted term; people 
like to mix up terms such as "wounded child" with "inner child"as 
well -- they are not the same. I'm a great believer in the usefulness 
of establishing contact with the inner child -- I've seen it work for 
both male and female survivors of sexual abuse, it's also worked for 
me when I needed it... The concept of an inner child is *not* based 
on what we see as children, it's more an idealized "image" of a child 
who is taught and nurtured in an environment where healing (and I'm 
not going to use the term "healing" in the way hijacked by New Agers 
have appropriated the word) is possible.

It's true that some children are sociopaths, but there's often a good 
reason for that and I normally start looking at the parents and the 
people in positions of power for the root cause of the problem before 
centering on the child... what you've come across sounds like a bunch 
of ill-informed people who haven't even bothered to do their research 
before attaching it to some form of cod psychology/religion in order 
to get their message across.

I can't see what being in touch with this inner child has to do with 
the concept of masculinity or femininity either. Unless one 
experiences their inner child as a female, this is heard of -- but 
uncommon, it suggests that the adult is distorting their perception 
of the inner child -- many inner children seem to be remarkably free 
of gender because the perceived child comes from a time before the 
client became aware of sex or sexuality or they may have been 
sexually or physically hurt so badly that they will effectively 
"neuter" their inner child as a safety measure. I did, I was abused.

What I think has happened is a mix up between fairly basic (and I 
mean B-A-S-I-C) Jungian terminology and a more contemporary (and 
wrong) definition of the Inner Child. The feminine in man is often 
referred to as  the "anima", it has other definitions and "snap-on" 
bits that would only serve to confuse the issue here, but basically 
Jung's theories (which are a bit too rich for my tastes, but there 
you go) have been taken up by a lot of modern psychologists and 
psychotherapists. The inner child exists if you want it to, but you 
must remember that the inner child is analogous to the "potential" in 
you, the point in your life when you had high hopes and dreams, of 
plans and untempered enthusiasm. Peope are so different that not all 
analogies apply... It does for me, it doesn't for you... no big deal.

Those people you met sound  ill-informed and don't have the facts. I 
wouldn't trust anyone spouting stuff like that in a club or at a 
social event, it's too serious and complex a subject to expect to get 
everything across... those people have appropriated a term, mixed it 
with another term and made it meaningless.

>    I like to think I'm pretty free of prejudice; that I'm reasonably
> sane and stable and treat every person I meet with fairness and
> equality.  I am, however, allowed to dislike as much as I am allowed to
> like certain things; I'm allowed to generalize.  And while I will treat
> each person as a person, androgynous new-age bisexuals are running in
> the red even before they start...

Keep reacting though Elf, they're doing a lot of hard work by a lot 
of good people a lot of damage.

+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| "When I grow up, I want to give up being  |cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk|
| a Journalist and learn how to write..."   |cliveg@cix.compulink.uucp |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| Knitter's of distinction c 1992. Call me the monochrome Kaffe Fassett|
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+