From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: leg shaving
Date: 9 Sep 92 23:49:52 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Sep9.210732.10084@cbfsb.cb.att.com> weird@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (john.t.erhardt) writes:
 
First of all, I applaud you for your honesty regarding leg shaving and
it's effect on bike racing.  Since I live in an area where, if I drive
through town I'm in danger of receive severe spandex burns, I wonder 
how of the people I see would be as honest about their reason for wearing
lycra.

However, on to the subject at hand, and a personality trait that I
think you've brought to light.

|I wonder, was it difficult to put up with his training/racing schedule?
|Did he give you enough time?   Were you supportive of his racing?
|
|Don't get me wrong.  I'm sure you have plenty of reasons to never want to
|speak to him again.

Just don't provide details about it on the net. (sorry, had to get that in).

|I'm just curious as to how one deals with an athletic
|fanatic while in a relationship.  Since to be even moderately good in bike 
|racing you have to be a fanatic.  I've only been racing since July and
|haven't really dated anyone since.  So I wonder if it's a difficult thing 
|for the other person to deal with.  You know all the hours he (or she) 
|spends on the bike, plus all the hours he (or she) spends maintaining the
|bike, talking about racing, etc.
 
I think this brings up a good point about dealing with fanaticism in general.
The problem that I have about fanaticsm is that a persons life can become
so focused about one activity that they preclude other activities that
you might enjoy.  I prefer someone with more diverse interests.  I have gone
to a baseball game in the afternoon and a symphony in the evening.  On the
way home, still in a suit and tie, I've stopped at the neighborhood bar for
a game of pool or darts, and a beer.

I understand your fanaticism about racing, and think I share that fanaticism
(not for bike racing) for other activities due the the personality trait I
alluded to above.  That would be competitiveness.  When I do something I want
to do it well.  

I was a fanatic a few years ago about ski racing.  I bought the top-of-the-line
racing ski's, top-of-the-line boots, went to racing clinics taught by
a guy that trained Olympic race team members (actually had a couple of those
members set pacesetter times for one race I did),  and generally when I 
went skiing I spent more time on Nastar courses than "free skiing".  I even
went as far to rent a lycra racing suit for a downhill race.  I used the suit
for all for about four minutes and it cost me $80 or so.  I finished in the
middle of the pack.  I started to ski again with an old friend and eventually
just back to enjoying the sport.  I still pretty much seem to forget the
term "take it easy this run" once I've made a few turns.  I just start turning
harder and faster and then next thing I know I find myself trying to
accellerate out of the turns rather than maintain an easy pace with them.
The thing is, I got good.  However, due to my competive nature, I was often
unsatisfied because I knew I could get better.  I'm the same way about other
things.  I try keep that in check whenever I can so that I don't preclude
the enjoyment that I initial found in the activity for the sake of being the
best.  A sense of competitiveness can also indicate a certain amount of 
confidence, which seems to be a highly desirable confidence, however, as
John has seen, if that competiveness iisn't kept in check it can lead to
fanaticism and have an negative impact on your love life, and seriously 
unhappy ProblemOlderWoman.

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira     | Auspex Systems | "Auspex does not share my opinions.  |
| johnf@auspex.com | Santa Clara CA |  So Why am I still working here?"    |
+==========================================================================+