From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Subject: Re: Emotional Neglect and Family Size
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California
Date: Thu, 03 Sep 1992 01:19:53 GMT

In article <1992Aug29.063415.20738@newstand.syr.edu> kgatling@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Keith E Gatling) writes:
>Well, here's the promised article.
>
>It seems that one of the other things to come out of the current
>ALlen/Farrow controversy is a charge by Soon-Yi (sp) that no one could
>possibly properly take care of as many kids as Farrow has already adopted,
>that somewhere along the line someone has to get neglected.
>
>Good grief!  Now I'll admit to having a bit of a "two or less" children
>prejudice myself, which was evidenced when a friend of ours with two kids
>announced that she was having a third (although we didn't show it, later on
>Cheryl and I had to admit that we did have a bit of a prejudice in that
>regard, but then again my prejudice more specifically is "make two or less,
>and adopt the rest."), but I find this charge totally ridiculous.
>
Because I had a long wait in my doctor's office, I read the People Magazine
article about this whole overblown and slightly nauseating debacle.  There
were two interesting things in that article which shed light on Sun-Yi's
statement.  First is that, according to those who know her, Mia Farrow has
an OBSESSION about adopting YOUNG children.  The second statement was that
her current teen-age Asian daughter is treated not like a daughter, but like
a maid.   Apparently Woody joked that she (Daisy?) would be the one to write
the Mommy Dearest book.

So, while in some cases a large family does not necessitate neglect, if one
or more of the parents is baby obsessed, then there is a psychological need
to always have babies in the house.  And if that is the need being met by the
large family, the older children (teen-agers) will end up neglected.  It was
also noted that two of Mia's teen-age children were caught for shoplifting
in Connecticut and are chronically in trouble.  Not necessarily neglect, but
the idea that they are seeking attention did come to mind.

>Why?  Because up until recently large families were not that unusual.  Sure,
>it's easier to take all the kids somewhere in one car if you have three or
>less, sure you can afford to do things like go to Disney World a lot more
>easily if you don't have to foot the bill for ten kids, sure you would
>*theoretically* have more time to spend with each kid if you had fewer of
>them...but this doesn't necessarily mean that because you have more than the
>average 1.7 kids that you'd be emotionally neglecting them.

I doubt, given Mia's income, that affording Disneyland is a problem.  I do 
NOT doubt, however, that given Mia's schedule, having time for 11 children
IS a problem.

Frankly, I don't really care one way or the other about Mia and Woody and
this whole ugly scenario.  But there are those who don't pay much attention
to current events on their own, so if this ugly story will get them to watch
the news and just maybe be exposed to the real problems of the world, I guess
I can learn to accept it.  But, really, why do people care?  

-- 
Judy Leedom Tyrer

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"	- William Blake
From: joanne@hpcc01.corp.hp.com (Joanne Petersen)
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 20:40:06 GMT
Subject: Re: Birth control during breastfeeding?
Organization: Hewlett-Packard PAITC Data Center