HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mchaffee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Real Life?!?! HA!!)
Subject: Re: REQUEST: That Jesus fortune
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 05:34:19 GMT

erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:

>Could someone send me that old fortune (removed, I suppose, because it's not
>nice to make fun of JC - or at least, not PC) that talks about Jesus and
>epistology?  The punch line was:  "And Jesus replied: 'What?'".

>Thanks in advance...
>-- 
>Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

>Who and what would you be if you went beyond your deepest fears?

Send one to me too please!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael T. Chaffee        | mchaffee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu  |  ______    
                                                       |  \    /   HATE
"I chased a rainbow down a one-way street.  Dead end." |   \  /  is not a
     - S. P. McCall                                    |    \/  FAMILY VALUE
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dag@col.hp.com (David Geiser)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: ACCOUNTING JOKES
Date: 18 Dec 92 19:01:41 GMT
Organization: HP Colorado Springs Division
NNTP-Posting-Host: hplsdor.col.hp.com



This new accountant looks around and finally gets a new job.
When she comes to work, she gets put into the same office with an
older, more experienced accountant.  As time goes by she notices
that every day, the first thing this older accountant does every
morning is to open a certain drawer in his desk and check on
something.  This goes on for five years...  every morning, the
experienced accountant opens the drawer, checks on something and
closes the drawer.  Finally, the older accountant one day
announces he is retiring.  He retires and the new accountant
eagerly anticipates getting the old accountant's desk so she can
see what in the world was in that drawer.

Finally the big day arrives...  She goes to work, opens the
drawer and ...  the only thing in the drawer is a yellowed,
dogeared piece of paper taped to the bottom of the drawer which
says:

Credits on the left! Debits on the right!
From: gvg@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Greg Goebel)
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 15:36:13 GMT
Subject: Re: REQUEST: Desiderata?
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Loveland, CO
Newsgroups: rec.humor

I get the feeling you are referring to the old National Lampoon parody
of the Desiderata, which I remember poorly, but do recall it had the
refrain:

   You are a fluke 
   Of the Universe
   And whether you know it or not
   The Universe
   Is laughing at you
   Behind your back ...

I'm sure somebody out there has the whole thing ...

   Wile E. Coyote at the Acme Online Support Organization For The SouthWest

                     "ACME -- The Name You Can Trust!"
--
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 |                               DISCLAIMER                                   |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 |   Who cares what I think?  I don't take MYSELF seriously, why should you?  |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 | Greg Goebel                             NET:     gvg@hpislsup              |
 | Hewlett-Packard                         HP DESK: GREG GOEBEL               |
 | VXD Marketing                           PHONE:   Telnet/303 679-3424       |
 | POB 301 / MS-CU326 / Loveland CO 80539  FAX:     Telnet/303 679-5957       |
 +----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes,rec.humor
From: rcs4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (ROBERT CHRISTOPHER STEELE)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: CHALLENGE
Date: 15 Dec 92 03:36:44 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

I have heard many lawyer, barrister, arbitraitor, etc. jokes but have yet to
find one that actually makes the lawyer look good. If you have a joke that
does make a lawyer look please send me it or post it on the net.
-- 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+   Robert Christopher Steele(Kip or Skip)   KKKKKKKKK  KKKKKKKKK           +
+                                               KKK      KK                 +
+                                               KKK    KK      SSSSSSSSSSS   +
+                                               KKK KK         S            +
+                                               KKK   KK       SSSSSSSSSS   +
+   E-Mail: RCS4@ ns1.cc.Lehigh.edu             KKK      KK             s   +
From: ahummel@ems.cdc.com (H. Austin Hummel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Best of Blonde jokes
Keywords: blonde jokes
Date: 16 Dec 92 18:26:54 GMT
Reply-To: you@ems.cdc.com
Organization: Empros Systems International, a division of CDC


Q: What is a blond who died her hair black?




A: Artificial Intelligence   ;-)
Xref: sparky rec.humor:36341 soc.culture.soviet:10992
From: 2261as@gmuvax2.gmu.edu (Ilphay)
Subject: Re: More Far Side
Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, Va.
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 18:12:00 GMT

My favorite is one from a long time ago.

A movie projector operator is looking down from the projection
booth to his broken glasses while the audience is yelling
"Focus!  Focus!"


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: evahramian@mta.ca
Subject: Re: Test
Reply-To: evahramian@mta.ca
Organization: Mount Allison U, Sackville, N.B. Canada 
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 18:43:41 GMT

In article <BzID0r.1n2@cmcl2.nyu.edu>, akp@cns.nyu.edu (Prashanth Kumar A.K.,Rm 1010) writes:
>In article 133234@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu, cej0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (CHARLES EDWARD JAMES) writes:
>> In article <1992Dec18.143400.6456@bmerh85.bnr.ca>, coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr.ca (Dav
>> id Smith) writes:
>> >In article <1992Dec18.020436.2148@news.arc.nasa.gov> nicholso@pioneer.arc.nasa.
>> gov (Melvin H. Nicholson YBH) writes:
>> >>In article <BzF6E3.Lp7@cck.coventry.ac.uk> cei352@cck.coventry.ac.uk (The Frea
>> k) writes:
>> >>>In article <1992Dec17.102719.13134@bsu-ucs> 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu write
>> s:
>> >>>>In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Rich
>> man) writes:
>> >>>>> In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@euler.Berk
>> eley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
>> >>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Tw
>> yman) writes:
>> >>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas
>>  Orphanides) writes:
>> >>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron H
>> uang) writes:
>> >>>>>>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (
>> Vilas Khare) writes:
>> >>>>>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
>> >>>>>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
>> >>>>>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
>> >>>>>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
>> >>>>>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
>> >>>>> This is starting to make me snore.
>> >>>>is this the rec.humor people adore?
>> >>>Or is it porn,which is hard core.?
>> >>Haven't when been through all this before?
>> >No, have some BEER and let me pour!
>> Why have one when we can have four!
>Please Mr.CHARLES EDWARD JAMES- not more!
>Post I did,a little before,
>(about an hour before,not more..
>oh, the time difference-it makes me roar!)
>requesting that that be the final score.
>that did you miss or plain ignore?
>And now, bear me, without rancour,
>and pray,please dont be sore,
>that from you I snatch the floor,
>to make, as I hoped before,
>(trying, hoping not to spill blood and gore)
>a fervent plea,to all once more,
>to not make this rec.humor.bore.
>and this to progeny,thro' time's pore:
>thus folks, in the days of yore,
>we sat and spun folklore.
>and no, I shall not contribute anymore,
>lest people think me a boar,
>to hog the space and bore.
>
>
Take a lesson from Tipper Gore
Shut the fuck and say no more
Because you sound like a very large whore
Whose butt is so wide you can't fit through the door.


Pooch
From: bbrown@willamette.edu (Brian Brown)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Help me with a shenanigan!
Date: 12 Dec 92 19:55:10 GMT
Article-I.D.: willamet.Bz5wnz.7HD
Organization: Willamette University, Salem OR

I need your help to perpetrate a shennanigan on one of my friends.  He
sent me the following invitation to Bill Clinton's Inagural Beer Bash, and
convinced the mail system that it was Bill Clinton who sent it.  Of
course, Bill Clinton (bclinton) is a null address.  I know who did it, but
he just acts suspicious and won't admit it.  Therefore, I call upon you
out there in Net Land to write some mail to him, responding to the Beer
Bash.  Say whatever you like -- accept the invitation, decline it,
denounce it for not including minority beverages or whatever.  Use your
creativity.  His address is:

ksmith@willamette.edu

Thank you for your help!!  Here is the invitation (I think it origionally
came from Rush Limbaugh, but I can't confirm that):


------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Bill Clinton  (bclinton)
To: bbrown (Brian Brown)
Subject: Beer Bash



                              Inagural Beer Bash


                            Date: January 20, 1993
                              Place: White House

	Come to Hilly and Billy's house for a night of fun and decandence. 
This will the event of the century, celebrating the counter-culture of the
Sixties.  Special guests will include Anita Hill and Gennifer Flowers among
others.  The events of the evening are listed below, so be sure to come and
***B.Y.O.B*** (No wine or champange allowed).


                               Scheduled Events:

7:00 - 9:00:	Walk out to the Mall and pick up a sledgehammer to destroy
		your choice of military equipment.  A wide selection will be
		available.  DON'T miss this event!!!  Gays Welcome!!!!

8:00 - 10:00:	Throw some darts at Clarance Thomas in the West wing.  Many
		dart boards will be available so no one will miss out on the
		fun.  Feminists demonstrations also welcome!!

12:00 - 1:00:	Of course our Beer Bash would not be complete without a
		tribute to our new president and co-president Hillary.  This
		event will have a little twist in which we will INHALE TO THE
		CHEIF.

                       *** Free Parking for VW buses ***


                                   RSVP to:

                                1-800-LIB-ERAL
                                      or
                                1-800-BUSH-OUT

Endorsed by: The Teachers Union of America, Reverend Jackson, Tom Foley, Queer
             Nation and Act Up 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------


-- 
-----------------  bbrown@willamette.edu  (Brian W. Brown)  -----------------
Recently, a poll found that 75% of people approve of the way Bill Clinton
   is handling the transition.  All those who think that it's time the
   poll-takers went out and got real jobs, raise your hands.  I thought so.
From: sme3@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (SCOTT MATTHEW ESTRIN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Don't Read Me. Only a test...
Date: 13 Dec 92 18:33:27 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

>>|>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
>>|>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
>>|>>That's not very nice. You're just being sore.
>>|>Perhaps he's ironic, and wants some more.
>>|>
>>|>Quit dancing around, and let's get to the core.
>>|As if , you are talking to a whore!
>>He knows that, he knows the score.
>What the hell are we doing this for?
Perhaps its the "cascade du jour"
-- 

---
This is my signature file.  D'ya like it?  Huh?  Huh?  Do ya?  Do ya?  Huh?
                                                    -sme3@Lehigh.EDU
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: beykema@infonode.ingr.com (Maurice Beyke)
Subject: Re: RIDDLES (involving no survivors,bears,birds or bus drivers)
Organization: Intergraph Corporation, Huntsville, AL.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 19:52:29 GMT

In article <g1DsVB3w165w@netlink.cts.com> tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry) writes:
>filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM (Fil Feit) writes:
>> In article 1@vms.ocom.okstate.edu, adams@vms.ocom.okstate.edu () writes:
>> >In article <VZ7kVB5w165w@netlink.cts.com>, tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Ga
>> >> adams@vms.ocom.okstate.edu writes:
>> >>> How about a grammatically correct sentence (including syntax) which uses 
>> >>> word "had" at least SEVEN (7) times?

 How about, in comparing two boys in a writing class, the following sentence:

  "John, where James, had 'had', had 'had had'.  'Had' had a better
  effect on the teacher."

<^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^>
< Boris Mikey            |"Here the ways of men part: if you wish to strive  >
< aka Maurice Beyke      | for peace of soul and pleasure, then believe;     >
< mab@batman.b11.ingr.com| if you wish to be a devotee of truth,             >
< These views are mine,  | then inquire."                                    >
< Ingr. doesn't want them|                                  Nietzsche        >
 vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From:  (relgov)
Subject: Re: LIMRICK
Organization: AA
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 10:40:32 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor

In article <BzEMJx.G8C@cs.dal.ca>, franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin)
wrote:
> 
> In article <1992Dec17.001118.11284@iscnvx.lmsc.lockheed.com> record@force.ssd.lmsc.lockheed.com writes:
> >In article <BzCvz2.GDw@cs.dal.ca>, franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
> >>In <1ghiflINNel4@mercury.kingston.ac.uk> cs_e373@ceres (Matthew Simpkin) writes:
> >>
> >>>There once was a lady from Ham,
> >>>Who wanted to ride on a tram,
> >>>When she kissed the conductor,
> >>>He turned round and fuc*ed her,
> >>>And now she is pushing a pram.
> >>
> >>There once was a fellow named Matthew
> >>Who's spelling was awful but grant you,
> >>His rhyme was no better,
> >>He forgot a letter,
> >>It's limerick, but spell as you want to.
> >
> >The limerick you wrote, I have read it
> >I hope never before you have said it
> >For it was not funny
> >It can't be worth money
> >And what's more, I might add, I DON'T GET IT!!!
> 
> I pray that you please will stop shouting.
> Of verbal goo please cease your spouting.
> The subject is wrong,
> Been mispelled all along,
> Perhaps you are smart, but I'm doubting.
> 
You guys are extending this thread
With lame limericks such that I've read
Is this all you've got?
It's good I think ... NOT!
For me on to the next newsgroup instead.
From: cs_e373@ceres (Matthew Simpkin)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Limrick
Date: 14 Dec 1992 09:00:37 GMT
Organization: Kingston University
NNTP-Posting-Host: ceres.kingston.ac.uk
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

There once was a lady from Ham,
Who wanted to ride on a tram,
When she kissed the conductor,
He turned round and fucked her,
And now she is pushing a pram.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
|  Matthew Simpkin	  | Kingston University   | "A Primitive Race, You too |
|  cs_e373@kingston.ac.uk | Computer Science Dept |   shall be asimilated ..." |
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
From: lumensa@lub001.lamar.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Cowboy Condom Riddle
Date: 10 Dec 92 21:17:43 +1700
Organization: Lamar University - Beaumont

Why do cowboys use denim condoms?




Because they shrink to fit.


-- 
Dale Parish
lumensa@lub001.lamar.edu
3128435@mcimail.com
From: jsg1@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JONATHAN SCOTT GIBSON)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: a good joke (offensive to women)
Date: 17 Dec 92 19:23:55 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1gbggbINNjdo@overload.lbl.gov>, prem@prem.lbl.gov (xyz) writes:
>In article <Bz3KCy.LA1@dcs.ed.ac.uk>, la@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Lewis Alderton) writes:
>|>
>|> Q : Why does Helen Keller Masterbate with one hand ?????
>|>
>|> A : So she can moan with the other.
>
>        Helen Keller was blind, not dumb. Which sir, is
>        more than one can say about you.  (Ow!!) (:-)
>
>|> ^ Lovely Louie | My brain ?? That's my second favorite organ.
>                                ********************************
>                       And is that because one always tends to like
>                        whatever one has the least of ??        (:-)
>
>       Prem!
>               Helen Keller was blind, deaf, and dumb!
-- 
                        Jonathan Scott Gibson
                        JSG1@LEHIGH.EDU
                        BOX 479    X0264
Xref: sparky rec.humor:36885 soc.culture.soviet:11322
From: daniel@mertwig.uucp (Daniel Drucker)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.soviet
Subject: Re: some Soviet emigre restaurant jokes
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 92 13:51:40 EST
Reply-To: daniel%mertwig@uunet.uu.net  (Daniel Drucker)
Organization: Abnormalities of Reality

bradj@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Brad R. Johnson) writes:

> In article <1gij2mINNqsl@agate.berkeley.edu> muh@physics.Berkeley.EDU (Yury M
> >In article <gDyoVB1w165w@bwalk.dm.com> dlv@bwalk.dm.com (Dimitri Vulis) writ
> >>
> >Kto nibud' znaet, gde vzroslo eto blednoe chudo? Na prostorah Oklahomschiny 
> >na pomoikah NYC? Ili on vse zhe sam sebja sechet?
> 
> Gosh darnit!  My ROT13 doesn't work.  Can anybody tell me what this says?

It isn't rot13, stupid!


--
Daniel Drucker        N2SXX       Coconut seashells whispering to me
daniel%mertwig@uunet.uu.net         "Forever, forever, my Coda..."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mchaffee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Real Life?!?! HA!!)
Subject: Re: Python's Lumberjack song.... maybe!
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 08:12:15 GMT

Well, here's my personally expurgated version,
as heard on the "Final Rip-off" album:

I'm a Lumberjack blah blah blah..

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea.
	He cuts down trees blah blah blah...

I'm/He's a Lumberjack and I'm/he's OK blah blah blah...

I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flow'rs.
I put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars.
	He cuts down trees blah blah blah...

I'm/He's a Lumberjack and I'm/He's OK blah blah blah....

I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Papa.
	He cuts down trees blah blah blah...
	(angry uproar at "bra" leads to cries of "Ya lousy faggot" etc...)

I'm/He's a Lumberjack and I'm/he's OK blah blah blah...

And there we have it!  I've never seen it in a movie, but then I am Python-
movie-deprived too.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael T. Chaffee        | mchaffee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu  |  ______    
                                                       |  \    /   HATE
"I chased a rainbow down a one-way street.  Dead end." |   \  /  is not a
     - S. P. McCall                                    |    \/  FAMILY VALUE
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle
From: maanstro@iastate.edu (Angstrom)
Subject: X-Faces
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 21:13:23 GMT

What exactly is X-Face, anyway? And where is it? It'd be nice if, instead
of just saying it's "in the iuvax archive", we got a full ftp address.
Just call me clueless.


Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
From: morrell@math.utah.edu (Steven C. Morrell)
Subject: Sick of grovels, <ZOT>s (but Lisa is fine!)
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 00:04:24 GMT
Distribution: rec
Organization: Department of Mathematics, University of Utah

I think the grovel-<ZOT>-Lisa-woodchuck themes don't automatically
mean the supplicant/oracle is completely devoid of humor, but it
seems that half of the time I ask questions, the reply is a dry
restatement of "You haven't grovelled sufficiently so <ZOT>."

Now, I admit that my grovels aren't usually the sort that get used in
tutorials for excellent grovels, and that some of my questions are very
off-the-wall, but I wonder why I am getting so many rejections.

Am I the only supplicant who lacks a sense of humor?  Or is there a
sadistic oracle out there who types tripe just to prevent me from
receiving a real answer?  My guess is that somebody is just trying to
reduce the turn-around time, but I can only handle so many rejections!

Could this be the root of the Oracle humor crisis?

There must be a better way to refuse a question without landing it in
limbo.  And it would be nice if I could send mail to a supplicant which
says, "Your question deserves a better answer than the one I sent you
before I decided it wasn't a funny answer.  Please resubmit it."
 
Steven Morrell         morrell@math.utah.edu
DISCLAIMER:  Nobody is responsible.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
From: dv@cc-mac.nbn.com (David Vezie)
Subject: Sore winner (??)
Organization: Computer Concepts
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 21:22:13 GMT

An answer of mine just made it into the newsgroup, but for some
reason, it was incomplete.  Here is what was posted:

]Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 00:10:40 -0500
]From: Usenet Oracle <oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu>
]Subject: Usenet Oracularity #513-08
]
]Selected-By: jgm@cs.brown.edu (Jonathan Monsarrat)
]
]The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
]Your question was:
]
]> Dear Oracle,
]> What is the best way for me to make lots of money?
]> I mean, I'm good looking, smart, and all those other things, but what I
]> want, and need, is MONEY.
]> O tell me, wonderful, and wise oracle, what should I do?
]> I'll give you anyhting if you tell me the answer, except for money, of
]> course.
]
]And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
]
]} Dear unenlightened supplicant.  The Oracle is grieved by your misguided
]} affinity for material things.  True enlightenment and happiness can
]} only come when we free ourselves from our desires for material things.
]} The Oracle can help you with this.  I give seminars on "Freeing
]} ourselves from our desires for material things."  These seminars, run
]} by myself, and my personall
]

And here's what I sent...

]To: "The Usenet Oracle" <oracle@moose.cs.indiana.edu>
]Subject: Re: An answer to the #Qa15809 question is required by the Oracle. 
]In-reply-to: Your message of "Tue, 15 Dec 92 16:08:03 EST."
]             <9212152106.AA02664@zippy.sonoma.EDU> 
]Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 14:03:49 PST
]From: David Vezie <dv>
]
]Dear unenlightened supplicant.  The Oracle is grieved by your misguided
]affinity for material things.  True enlightenment and happiness can only
]come when we free ourselves from our desires for material things.  The Oracle
]can help you with this.  I give seminars on "Freeing ourselves from our
]desires for material things."  These seminars, run by myself, and my personally
]trained assistants, teach you to love the little things in life, to appreciate
]that which money will never buy you, and to free yourself from desires for
]money.
]
]There is a seminar starting soon.  The seminars last a week, and cost
]only $4999 (trans, food, lodging extra).  They are held at our peaceful
]estate in Hawaii.  Call 1-900-U-ORACLE to make a reservation for the
]next seminar.
]
]
]The Oracle senses your hesitation.  That hesitation is only more proof
]of your need to attend the seminar.  Won't you please call now?  Your
]future is waiting.
]

I'm not complaining, I don't think.  I mean, it made it, but it didn't,
but...

(pardon me for babbling...  finals, you see)
-- 
David Vezie dv@sonoma.edu,dv@xnet.ssl.berkeley.edu,dv@cc-mac.nbn.com