HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kimba@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Michael Newton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Just One Jam-jar (was Re: Lust from afar)
Keywords: Sticky, end
Date: 14 Apr 92 23:58:58 GMT
Organization: Centre for Cognitive Science, Edinburgh, UK

egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
>>> (Some of my underwear is, ah, meant to be removed quickly.)

that wool really itches, ken?

>Boys' underwear is SAID to be meant to prevent chafing.  It's really
>meant to prevent nasty accidents involving irate girlfriends and zips.  

im quite capable of having such accidents without the intervention of
3rd parties, thankyou (:eveeP). (3rd? ah well, who's counting)

>You see, all Edinburgh pubs come equipped with the Jimmy unit.

had my first experience with the female of the species (there was a
Jimmy in the corner, sporadically attempting to join in - part of the
courtship ritual i think). Much politer, i must say, in fact she
seemed quite taken with me - but there, i always have been
irresistable to sextagenarians. Getting the story of her 27 offspring
and what countries theyre now living in (at least i think thats what
it was about), and why i should vote Labour (which would be fine, if
theydve let me vote at all).

>"fuckin' English* git"
>*Please substitute appropriate nationality/Scottish football team supporter

++peeve: i get "English"ed and im not

>Of course, Andy, you are glossing over the fact that some of us don't
>swallow.  We bite.  Hard.

and then? Rock oysters anyone?
-- 
This sig is shareware:if uve enjoyed it, pls send 5ECUs to this address:
(apologies if this sig appears twice)<kimba@cogsci.ed.ac.uk> aka Michael Newton
-- This sig is shareware:if uve enjoyed it, pls send 5ECUs to this address:
(apologies if this sig appears twice)<kimba@cogsci.ed.ac.uk> aka Michael Newton
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: engineers, again
Date: 16 Apr 92 18:01:19 GMT
Article-I.D.: lynx.8#1j-t+
Organization: Atheists for the Development of a Better God

In article <92107.110024JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu> JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu (Jennifer Mina) writes:
>Peeve:  people who demand that I explain my peeves to them.  I thought
>this was a place where people could vocalize their peeves (well, kinda),
>not get more annoyed by people responding to  their peeves.  

	You, obviously, thought wrong. This is a place to peeve and
hope that you will peeve well enough not to provoke the locals. Your
engineer peeve failed and you are living the consequences. You may,
or may not remember a peeve from last year from a poster who will
remain anonymous, since I can remember who it was. That peeve was
"Women." This person was flamed(righty so) for it, and you have received
no worse treatment than he.

>If you're
>offended that I'm peeved at Engineers, too bad.  

Not at all. I'm peeved that you posted such a peeve with no further
explaination. Somehow, I doubt that it is just thier simple existance
that was peeving you. 

ObPeeve: It is laundry day. I hate this day of the month. The simple
existance of the need to do laundry does annoy me. I hate doing it,
as it is a break from the normal routine of my life.
From: sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lawyers not Chemists
Date: 10 Apr 92 17:12:52 GMT

Paul Goldberg talks through his ass saying:

> In article <1992Apr7.164630.987@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu>, sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu
> grumbles at length about the fact that a lawyer two years younger than him
> makes more money than he can expect to make in 30 years time. 

And also...

> Boy it must be mighty tough to be forced to go into science when other
> people get to pick high-paid jobs in law. I'm disillusioned - I always
> thought that in the USA you got to exercise a reasonable amount of free
> will, but now I find that some Americans, through no fault of their
> own, are forced to take low-paid jobs, despite being at least as
> meritorious as better-off people.
		
Not only are you disilluioned you are foolish. Free will
may only be exersized to the extent that the free market will allow. And as
for chosing a high paying law career, the lawyers be damned. If only virtuous
and worthy lawyers existed there would be a critical and chronic shortage of
them. I chose a career that I not only would be salable for but one that I
could mentally and morally tolerate for the next 30 years. Unfortunately
financially it may be difficult to tolerate. 

> Seriously, you could go into ambulance-chasing if you wanted to. It's
> probably harder work than it looks. As a British grad student I get
> paid didly squat, but don't complain about it. I've learnt my lesson,
> plus the fact that it doesn't get much better if you stay in academia,
> and on finishing intend to get a job in the >gasp< private sector.

I never said that ambulance-chasing or any field of law was easy. I just
submitted that they weren't nearly as benevolent towards society as the
pure or applied sciences (don't debate me that the sciences can be just
as malevolent or more so as lawyers. I conceed that. But I do contend that
they are so on a less frequent basis). Trust me I'm heading for the private
sector as well. Academia is too closely associated to government funding and
I have been screwed once too many times because of this.

Scott A. Chasse
U.of Fl. IFAS Research
Ft. Lauderdale
From: zursch@whizkid.corp.sgi.com (Jeff Zurschmeide)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Jeremy's amazing incredible feet!!!!!!
Date: 6 Apr 92 17:04:32 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc., Mountain View, CA

No_Dick_Crawford@cut.it.off (Not Al Crawford) whimpers like a whipped dog:
>
>No Jeff, it's further evidence that unlike you I don't list "paedophilia"
>amongst my hobbies and leisure activities.

Lame, dude. Very lame. Pedophilia applies to prepubescent children, not 
buxom 16 year old wenches. I think you're just making high-toned excuses
for your inadequacy. (Which, I might add, has been well-publicized by you
in this very forum...) 

Now go on home and pretend you have a dick to wank and maybe one day you'll
get a chin hair and you can "shave." 

JZ
-- 
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
	      One Shift		 ,			   Two Shift
Re d  S   h    i     f      t    ,       B     l      u      e     S    h  i ft
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thursday, 16 Apr 1992 11:00:24 EDT
From: Jennifer Mina <JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: engineers, again

Peeve:  people who demand that I explain my peeves to them.  I thought
this was a place where people could vocalize their peeves (well, kinda),
not get more annoyed by people responding to  their peeves.  If you're
offended that I'm peeved at Engineers, too bad.  Why do you care what
peeves me anyway?  I don't know you.  It's not like I'm trying to get
anyone else to be peeved at Engineers, so what's the problem?

Again, :-p !

--Jennifer
From: JIMBO@SLACVM.SLAC.STANFORD.EDU
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Short gals--->Tall guys
Date: 10 Apr 92 07:40:48 GMT
Organization: Stanford Linear Accelerator Center

In article <9APR199200292053@rigel.tamu.edu>, rwb7054@rigel.tamu.edu (BARRETT,
ROBERT WAMBLE, JR) says:
>Peeve: Short girls(under 5'4") who go out with the guys who are 6'10"
>
>Why don't they look for someone a little more their size?  All the girls
>that I could ask out, of course are dating the 7-footers!!!
>Heck, that's a foot and a half difference.  They almost need a stepladder
>to kiss the guy goodnight!!!

I LIKE A GIRL THAT WILL FIT RIGHT WHEN I PUT MY ARM AROUND HER.
THAT MEANS ONE FOOT SHORTER THAN MYSELF AT 6'3" ( 5'3" IF YOU
FORGOT YOUR CALCULATOR).

obPEEVE: WOMEN <5'3" OR >5'3". BE SEEING YOU.
----------------------------------------------------------
 James D. Craft <JIMBO@SLACVM.SLAC.STANFORD.EDU>
 REMEMBER, WHEN THEY SAY THEY'RE KIDDING...THEY'RE NOT
From: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: The Edinburgh International Science Festival
Date: 8 Apr 92 14:10:14 GMT
Reply-To: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Organization: Penicuik People's Revolutionary Sheepdog Liberation Front

I can thoroughly sympathize with Mike about this. The aforementioned
festival has lead to our previously quiet, civilised university being
turned into an outsized playgroup. Hundreds of schoolkids are swarming
everywhere, doing all the usual schoolkid things like being noisy and
getting in the way.

Fr'example, I just nipped up to Mae's to buy myself my ObMintChocolateCream
only to find that there were 15,000 7-year-olds in the queue ahead of me.
So I went over to the shop in the student centre. Having fought my way
through hordes of kids who were milling around in the lobby, I discover
that the student centre has been turned into some sort of technology
exhibition.

However, on returning to my office I noticed that the main doors to the
building have lots of little signs on them advertising which events in the
"Science Olympiad" are in the building. I think the kids have to complete a
certain number of events (with cute titles like "Strike A Light" and
"Bridging The Divide") or something like that. Hmmm, definite possibilities
there for mysterious "extra" events appearing in the vicinity of the CS
dept....

"What A Shock" - a nice little kiddy sized electric chair. Definite
scientific value of course, since it demonstrates what the lethal current
is.

"Greek Fire" - the kiddies have to leap over a 2m wide trench filled with
burning napalm. I'm sure there must be some sort of lesson concerning
combustion and melting points in there.

"Click Clunk" - put the kiddies in a room with a highly radioactive source
and a geiger counter. See how many times it clicks before they fall over.

"Temple Of Doom" - demonstrates how large stone balls don't bounce, not
even if they land on top of a child.

"Under Pressure" - I'm sure Babs would be quite happy to let us get access
to that machine the rock bashers use to recreate the conditions in the
depths of the earth's crust. Definite possibilities for an interesting
event there.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Children" - sure to be a popular one. Lock two
kiddies (ideally one of each sex) in a room for 10 years with a radiation
source and see what emerges at the end.

BonusPeeve: On top of all that, I couldn't help but notice on the way over
to the student centre that there was this big glowing thing in the sky that
I haven't seen in a while. Yep, the sun was out. This was a major peeve,
since the BII (Buzzing Insect Index) has correspondingly gone through the
roof.

ExtraBonusPeeve: All winter long we've had to put the fan heater on in this
office to keep warm because the radiators don't work. Today, the first
decent sunny day we've had this year, and the radiators have come on. No
doubt they'll break down again just in time for next winter.

--
		Not Al Crawford - Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk
 "Isn't it nice/Sugar and spice/Luring disco sheepdogs/To a life of vice."
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: peeve dump
Date: 7 Apr 92 18:27:25 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <1992Apr6.232408.25410@umbc3.umbc.edu> potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>
>antipeeve: i shot a gun for the first time last week. a 45. didn't hit the
>	target at all! :) still, i'd always wanted to experience it. 

A .22 is easier to fire and hit the target with.

Peeve: I still have not had a chance to ride a horse.

ER
--
*"I mean it could make a big difference in your life if you thought that 
*you didn't need to depend on some musty old dogma thats riddled with
*translation problems, and started acting from the center of your own being."
*					-Owen Rowley
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky)
Subject: Re: Engineers, an explanation
Organization: Technical University Vienna, Dept. for Realtime Systems, AUSTRIA
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 12:33:14 GMT

Jennifer Mina <JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:

>Let me rephrase my peeve:  Penn State Engineering Teachers --
>[...] 2) a young,
>I'm-better-than-you-because-I-have-a-degree  teacher.

ob-gratuitous-sweep: 

        don't you think that you've got cause and effect 
        mixed up somewhere along the line? 

on the original track, i don't think people were annoyed by your posting
because they were engineers, but because it had zero entertainment value. 
this is alt.peeves. do you really think that anyone here is sitting in 
the corner sulking because you took a swipe at their profession? 

naaw. this forum is populated by fairly robust people, who can laugh at
the size of their own figurative penis, provided it is pointed out 
to them in an enjoyable way. 

>Bitch if you must, but I won't change how I think. :-p

the sign of a truly open mind. jennifer, relax. think about a really 
infuriating encounter with one of the young peeveworthy teachers.
tell us about it. let us know just *why* he is a complete and utter 
bastard, and make us die laughing. that's what this young engineer and
teacher would like to read, and that's what this newsgroup is about. 

-alex

-- 
Alexander Vrchoticky             alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
TU Vienna, CS/Real-Time Systems  +43/1/58801-8168
"we only question our worlds when they get out of hand" (seven sioux)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 92 06:47:40 GMT
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia 
Followup-To: alt.peeves

In article <1992Apr10.220127.28057@msuinfo.cl.msu.edu> Deborah Trytten writes:

> [ ... ]
>And, just exactly why is it that a crime perpetrated against a woman
>is more important and newsworthy than the same crime perpetrated against
>a man?   It implies that men are disposable and women are somehow
>special.  I resent being thought of as fragile, and I
>resent the implication (exemplified best by the draft) that men
>are disposable.

Since I don't know you I don't know whether you're fragile or not (it's
possible but I doubt it).  Men aren't disposable (though they may,
through accidents of circumstance or valor, be expendable).

But women *are*, somehow, special, and if you'd like to argue the point
you know where to find me.

>Debby

-- 
Rick Gordon       |  "A musicologist is a person who can read music 
rickg@netcom.com  |   but can't hear it." -- Sir T. Beecham
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Bunnies of death
From: gcombs@vax1.umkc.edu (Stimpson J. Cat)
Date: 7 Apr 92 13:56:09 CST
Organization: University of Missouri-Kansas City

  I live about three blocks away from a local Kansas City attraction, the
Country Club Plaza.  Referred to as The Plah-za by the people who shop there,
it's allegedly/reputely/suspectedly the world's first shopping center. It
features stores like Saks, Nieman Markus, Sharper Image, etc.  Whenever you buy
a Hallmark card, you are contributing to the Let's Give the Hall Family Lots of
Money So They Can Go to the Plaza and Buy Lots of Expensive Stuff fund.  Aside
from a really neat christmas display every year and some decent restaraunts,
the place is full of rich snob peeves.  

  Those are all paltry annoyances compared to my main peeve, however, which is
Swanson's, one of the department stores on the Plaza.  Every easter they
install a dozen or so large fiberglass bunnies around the entire area.  These
bunnies are glossy white 5-foot-tall monstrosities dressed in storybook-style
clothing.  From just glancing at them, you wouldn't think that they were too
bad, except THEIR EYES ARE BLINKING OUT OF SYNC.  This makes them look like a
cross between something from Alice in Wonderland and Terminator.  Parents think
the thigs are cute, and Part of the Plaza Tradition.  Children see their
parents trying to drag them towards EvilGiantKillerRobotBunnies, and become
hysterical.  They may as well paint blood around their mouths and put
fiberglass Uzis in their paws.  What peeves me the most is that these things
have become a tradition over the years, yet they are utterly ridiculous.  It's
as if Christ died for asynchronous rabbits or something.

BonusPeeve: For the past two months, our newsfeed has been 6-9 days behind the
rest of the Earth.  It seems as if we're getting our newsfeed via carrier
slug.

- Gerald Combs
    ...       ...       ...
   .   .     .   .     .   .     ...
  .     .   .     .   .     .   .   .
       Internet - gcombs@vax1.umkc.edu  ..
 .       . .       . .       . .     . .  .  ..
         Bitnet - gcombs@umkcvax1           .  . ..
.         .         .         .       .    .    .  ... .  .   .    .     o
"Tom!  You got frosting on the Ethernet!" -- Chris Mitchell
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: April 9 (d. all of the above)
Date: 13 Apr 92 15:31:46 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <1992Apr10.084317.6679@talon.ucs.orst.edu> usenet@talon.ucs.orst.edu (Usenet News admin) writes:

>I watched the movie "Slaughterhouse Five" last night.  The character 
>who kills Billy Pilgrim described getting back at a dog who bit him.
>He cut a spring into 1/2 inch slivers.  He then inserted each one by
>hand into a steak.  He gave it to the dog.  And when the dog started to
>howl and blood started to run from its mouth he said, "That's me inside
>there, sticking you with those knives."  For him nothing was sweeter than
>revenge.
>
>Personally, I think this is appalling.  No dog is evil enough to deserve 
>to be treated that way.  

  But lawyers, and People Who Do Not Move Over To The Left When I
  Flash My Highbeams, on the other hand, should receive this
  treatment often...

  What is it that lurks within the hearts of Aires K-car owners
  that they are driven to such behaviour? Do they really believe
  that I will not beat them unto death with a tiedown strap,
  and then serve them  to their family (all unknowing) as soup?

  This peeves me no end.

  !peeve: My new ford Ranger Sport with the 160hp V6, and 5spd
  manual...Everytime I drive it, my penis gets longer.


 



-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu (Jenni Sheehey)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Smoking Surrogate
Date: 7 Apr 92 19:16:49 GMT
 <ktjna0INNq87@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> <9361@wrgate.wr.tek.com>
 <ku1507INNai@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> <1935@transfer.stratus.com>
 <ku3h0mINN3tc@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>
Organization: Penn State University

In article <ku3h0mINN3tc@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>, geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
(Tricky Gnosis) says:
>
>Speaking of dolls, I read somewhere that someone who was diving under the
>Santa Cruz Municipal Pier found a Ken doll on the bottom with his feet in
>a couple of tiny concrete blocks.

Barbie's lawyer says she's going to plead innocent.  =)

ObWierdness: Really fat people who wear shorts on the first day the
temperature goes over 60F.  If I weighed, say, 250 lbs, I sure wouldn't
be rushing the shorts season.  However, I've seen probably four of them
today in shorts, and they were all female.  Go figure.

!Peeve: The temperature has gone over 60F.  =)

                                                 --Jenni
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Gif
Date: 15 Apr 92 20:46:20 GMT
Article-I.D.: lynx.kazj-__
Organization: Deathcheeses of Wisconsin

In article <1992Apr15.144342.24685@orlith.bates.edu> ahubbell@orlith.bates.edu (Arlyn Hubbell) writes:
>
>Peeve:  Gifs.  Enough already!  Do you *really* think I care what you
>        look like?  

Considering that you're posting from Lewiston, Maine's own mecca of boredom
and surly, unwashed, ugly people? That'd be a big "yes."

Peeve: Lewiston. Bites it harder than Newark, NJ.


-- 
"When I am introduced to an undertaker I categorize him at once as a
 sanctimonious money-grubbing necrophiliac. I realize this is an unfair
 generalization. I don't care."      -- Lawrence Block
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The Edinburgh International Science Festival
Date: 9 Apr 92 11:18:23 GMT
Article-I.D.: lynx._3rj24n
Organization: Atheists for the Development of a Better God

In article <31249@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
>I can thoroughly sympathize with Mike about this. The aforementioned
>festival has lead to our previously quiet, civilised university being
>turned into an outsized playgroup. Hundreds of schoolkids are swarming
>everywhere, doing all the usual schoolkid things like being noisy and
>getting in the way.
	Well just take some comfort in the fact that this is merely you
place of work and not your home. The last time that I lived on campus,
the institution that I was attending was the site of some sort of science
fair or something like that. This damn thing was held about 100 ft from
my room, so not only did I have to put with the kids when I was at school,
but since it was home as well, I got to deal with them then too. 

AntiPeeve: That was over 2 years ago and I have been living off campus
since then. I think that living in the dorm was one of the most peevesome
experiences that I have ever had. Why, oh, why didn't this group exists
back then? Actually, I remember it getting created a short time before I
left there and moved off campus, but I had no time for posting back then.

UltraExtraAntiPeeve: I now have a job where I get to spend a large
portion of my time reading news and playing around on the machines.
The pay is lousy and the people I have to deal with are, for the most
part, morons, but this makes up for it.

	Actually, since all that was quite some time ago for me, I think
that a current resident of West Hall at New Mexico Tech, Socorro, NM
should tell us about it. Or, perhaps Paul Ford, a recent graduate and
resident of same until last spring, could add to this, since he was just 
bitching about it recently.
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Smoking Surrogate
Date: 9 Apr 92 23:42:57 GMT
Article-I.D.: igor.1992Apr9.234257.2514
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, San Francisco

In article <ku7nukINNait@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM
(242 lbs before cooking) writes:

>Our favourite liberal hacky-sack, (Don Baldwin) writes:

You remind me of a rather disturbed fellow over in ca.politics, who
constantly manages to contort any policy he dislikes into an attack
on liberals.  Really Andy, I expected better from you.

Exactly how many liberals do you know who LIKE guns, have worked for
Nucular Power companies and get off on feeding cute fuzzy rodents to
pythons?

Still, if the idea of demanding that our "representatives" exercise
restraint when considering military force makes me a liberal, then
you're welcome to call me "liberal".

>I'm 6'6", son.  Just because Geoff Miller is 6'2" and you look up to
>him, don't assume that's true of everyone you look up to.

While Geoff's an impressive fellow, I don't recall ever saying that I
look up to you.  Rather, I regard you with all the affection one
might extend to a younger brother who falls off a motorcycle (without
a helmet) while doing 80 mph and spends the rest of his days building
model planes and doing jigsaw puzzles.

>And if I was spotted "plugging" seals, it wouldn't have been with a
>gun.

You sure you're not thinking of squirrels?  :v)

   don
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
			Bush for  President in '92!
                                 ^
                                 Ex-
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------------