From: PJF4081@cc.utah.edu (that's mr. wonderful to you)
Subject: INSects
Followup-To: alt.smouldering.dog.zone
Summary: insects will rule the earth
Keywords: pus filled wounds
Reply-To: frank
Organization: committee for the advancement of disgust
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 21:17:56 MDT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.10

	the old man peers over the fire at the group of kids in front of 
him.  insects were once quite disorganized, he says with a grimace.  
you may notice, if you look around you, that there is a lot of air.  in 
fact there is more air than land.  could you imagine having to find 
your mate in all of this air?  he shakes his head, it'd be goldamned 
hard he says. some kids in the back giggle at his use of mild 
profanity.  IN FACT, he says again, it'd be nearly impossible.  well, 
let me share something with you.  you may have observed the 
veritable plethora of insects around us tonight.  AND, you may think 
to yourself that the insects do not seem to have a problem 
reproducing.  let me tell you why, he says as his voice drops to a 
barely audible whisper.  well, long ago, the insects, they got 
organized.  the queen of the insects happened to noticed that she was 
not getting as much to eat as she would like.  so, she called a 
meeting of her top soldiers to inquire as to why.  the answer was 
painstakingly clear after the first minutes of the meeting.  the 
soldiers told her that there were just not enough workers to bring in 
food.  hmmm, she thought.  i wonder why this is, she said to the 
soldiers.  the oldest soldier in the room knew the answer.  he said, 
queen, the problem is that none of your people can ever find each 
other to mate and the numbers we have represent the probability 
that two of us of opposite sex will happen to be in the same spot at 
the same time.  the queen nodded but the others were confused as 
they did not understand a poisson distribution nor how the 
atmosphere diffracts light.  they did not understand much actually.  
the queen saw this and explained it to her lesser soldiers.  they 
nodded when they understood and shook their heads at this vexing 
problem.  the wise soldier said that perhaps they should establish a 
common meeting place for the insects so that they can find each 
other and increase their numbers.  the queen got a twinkle in her eye 
and the wise soldier knew it was due to more than a speck of dust, 
she had an idea.  the queen stood up, and facing the group of soldiers, 
made her first decree.  it shall hereby be the rule of the land that 
insects everywhere will meet at bright lights and fires throughout 
the world where they can associate freely and perform their mating 
functions.  thus, the decree was spread far and wide and 
disorganization no longer plagued the insects. 
	the old man grinned at the kids.  so, you can see that this is 
why the insects are the most populous creatures on this planet.  
humans have only had singles bars for twenty years and are just too 
far behind the insects to catch up.  with this he chuckled as he 
spread his wings and flew off into the night.  the kids ate more 
marshmallows, grew fat and hung out at single bars drinking 
american beer/swill, and waited for the insects reign to end.  


()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(
	PJF---->Biochem. grad student. "suffering *is* my game.		
	  						  
	                    WORK  :==  FUTURE
	"i am involved in the petty business of scientific research"
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Newsgroups: alt.soft-sys.tooltalk