HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dlovely@meaddata.com (David Lovely)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: A Mother Speaks Out
Date: 2 Jan 1993 00:16:25 GMT
Organization: Mead Data Central, Dayton OH
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: tteam.meaddata.com

In article <1g2lhfINN85q@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, garvey@skybridge.SCL.CWRU.Edu (Heather Garvey) writes:
|> markc@eomer.hw.stratus.com (Mark Christensen) writes:
|> >
|> >The Bible does not say that being
|> >black is a sin.  The Bible does not say that being a working
|> >mother is a sin.  So it doesn't matter what others have said.
|> >However, the Bible does say that homosexual behavior is a sin.
|> 	
|> 	The Bible also says it's perfectly alright to throw your
|> young virgin daughters out into a pack of ravening rapists, but
|> I somehow think we've grown as a race morally in the last 
|> TWO *THOUSAND* YEARS. 

You haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about on either point!
Your reference to the above  "pack of raving rapists" refers to Lot and his actions
when confronted by Sodomites.  His plight was illustrated after he deliberately chose
to live amongst those of questionable morality.  To say that the Bible condoned any
of this is just as ignorant as your assertion that morality has improved in the last 2000
years.  Get your facts straight before you post!


-- 
*******************************************************************************
David P. Lovely					      BOYCOTT BARBRA STREISAND!
Mead Data Central	       Don't Blame Me.  I didn't vote for Slick Willie.
Dayton, Ohio						       Vote KEMP in 96!

"Government isn't the solution to our problems, government IS the problem!"
	-Ronald W. Reagan

*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: tedwards@wam.umd.edu (technopagan priest)
Subject: Re: Broken Engagements
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 09:33:25 GMT

In article <92363.182011MXC117@psuvm.psu.edu> mary carpenter <MXC117@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>Advice on how to do it?  Quickly, honestly.  Don't pull any punches, but be
>tactful.  Saying that you still love the other person may seem like a kind
>thing or it could be meant as a last dig.  Talk about it; don't leave any
>questions unanswered.  Then go away from each other.  And stay away!

Yes, I was part of a broken engagement this last spring.  It was
going to be one of those long engagements, waiting to get married
until we finished up school.  We had been going out for 2 years,
and became very, very close, and a traumatic bicycle accident
an a romantic emergency room proposal clinched it.                   
However, as the reality of life together slowly crept over us,
previously small problems became larger, not helped by
religio-cultural differences between our familes (not us,
we're pagan!), and the continual haranguing of our parents
about marriage costs.

If you ever have kids, for God's sake, don't talk about marriage
plans or marriage costs until it is time to do so!  

Ahem, anyway, it was clear we were growing apart, and we spent
some time not seeing each other to get a grip on what was
happening, and suddenly we broke up.  It was terrible at the
time because we both thought this was _THE_ big relationship,
and to see it fall apart hurt us both very much.  But we were
later able to become friends again later, and still get
together and talk on a regular basis.

-Thomas
From: terrylee@bigwpi.WPI.EDU (Patricia M Currier)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Showers with SOs
Date: 3 Jan 93 20:30:24 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: bigwpi.wpi.edu

In article <1htc66INNn27@network.ucsd.edu> mbreen@sdacs.ucsd.edu (Michael Breen) writes:
>One of our plans for our "dream house" is a large bath with two shower heads,
>so we can enjoy the "growing closer" without the jockeying for position
>that occurs in our too-tiny single-shower-head bath.


And I thought I was the only one who wanted a shower like that.  Anybody else
out there in net.land that thinks showers should be made with two heads?  
Maybe we can convince the plumbing industry to start making them standerd...

-terrylee

-- 
===============================================================================
And the #1 difference between WPI and Hell is...   |terrylee@wpi.wpi.edu
                                                   |
     "You wouldn't tell a friend to go to WPI."    |Patricia Currier
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Subject: Re: LDRs
Organization: Youngstown State University/Youngstown Free-Net
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 18:31:13 GMT


yep.... 5 days from now I will be flying about 5500 miles
to see my sweetie....


we haven't been together since August 10.....

and i know the 2 weeks in the UK are gonna fly!!


=)/=(

happy holidays to everyone!!! =D


Cheers,


Dawn
-- 
 ...Some day you will travel all the way from Vermont just
    to get your eyes chewed off by a dog....
 
      -- Deep Thoughts with Gleeep on A.R.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Broken Engagements
From: mary carpenter <MXC117@psuvm.psu.edu>
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 18:20:11 EST
Organization: Penn State University

I don't think it's possible to end an engagement gracefully, unless it has
been so long in dying that both parties just drift apart.

I can say from experience that it's an ugly process.  Even though I did the
breaking in my situation, I think I was more upset about it.  My then fiance
was being an all-around jerk (inattentive, childish, bum) and telling me
that I wasn't giving him enough (money and sex, I suppose). When I finally
saw the light, I told him that I couldn't marry him (this was after he ran
off to Kansas to visit friends during Christmas break, without telling
his family where he was going).  There are a lot more ugly things that I
could mention, but I won't.  Just suffice to say that it was ugly.  (You little
weasel, if you or any of your so-called pets reads this, I hope you're all
miserable.)

Advice on how to do it?  Quickly, honestly.  Don't pull any punches, but be
tactful.  Saying that you still love the other person may seem like a kind
thing or it could be meant as a last dig.  Talk about it; don't leave any
questions unanswered.  Then go away from each other.  And stay away!
Separating the conglomerated belongings is a painful process.  Don't do it
alone.  Have some friends help.

-Mary

PS. No flames about being bitter.  I'm bitter and I know it.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ...
Subject: ..
Organization: ...
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 14:33:24 GMT
From: pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: LDRs
Date: 22 Dec 92 06:43:20 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of Pennsylvania



Happy Holidays to all those LDRs who will see their SOs over the
holidays!  I'm flying to Chicago to see my SO whom I haven't seen for
four months!  

Anybody else traveling long distance for the sake of love this time of
year?

Best wishes!

ajp
From: M.J.Jennings@amtp.cam.ac.uk (Michael Jennings)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Can't Let Go of Her
Date: 1 Jan 93 11:48:34 GMT
Organization: University of Cambridge, DAMTP

In article <1992Dec31.204012.18223@colorado.edu>, Teal <teal@ucsu.colorado.edu> writes:
|> 	What do I do? I can't let go of her.  She was my first girlfriend and I
|> started dating her at 25 but now she has moved on.  I can't accept the
|> fact that it's over and I am ruining what little we have left.  Now she
|> is seeing someone else and I am afraid of her pursuing intimacies with
|> him.  This is causing a severe depression.  What do I do?? I still love
|> her very deeply but her feelings for me are fading away. How do I let go?
|> 
	The equivalent person for me got married last month. It hurt. I hadn't
seen her in three years but still it hurt. However it did not hurt as 
much as it would have three years ago. I am now in the situation where I am
attracted to other women (for several years this was not the case), although
I've still never had feelings of the same intensity I had for her. My feelings
for her are not as strong as they once were but still they exist. I do not think
of her as frequently as I once did (admittedly not hard) but still I think of
her. Generally it is not as painful to look back as it was (most of the time 
I can look back with fondness and amusement). The hurt will slowly fade, 
She will _always_ be with you however. (Would you really want her not to be?)
	As for depression, you must do the things that you want to do, even if
it means doing them alone, and even if you are overcome by feelings of 
'I couldn't be bothered'. There is nothing worse than letting
your life go to pieces due to being depressed about a girl (or some other 
irritation). Trying to get it back together again can be hell (I speak from
experience)

	Michael.
From: Lola.Lee@p872.f70.n109.z1.fidonet.org (Lola Lee)
Sender: Uucp@blkcat.UUCP
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Showers with SOs
Date: Sun, 03 Jan 1993 08:57:41 -0500

  AA> From: andreas@appel012.hydromech.uni-hannover.de (Andreas A. W.
  AA> Dunker) Newsgroups: soc.couples Organization: University of Hannover,
  AA> FRG
  AA> 
  AA> ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA (K. Roper) writes: :  Not us.  He sets the
  AA> water entirely TOO COLD for my liking :> : :  Kim
  AA> 
  AA> My wife has the same problem, but sometimes we find a good temperature
  AA> (preferebly after a walk on a cold winter day).
  AA> 
  AA> By the way: what is SO?
  AA> 
  AA> --
  AA> ______________________________________________________________________
  AA> ________ Andreas Dunker        
  AA> andreas@appel012.hydromech.uni-hannover.de Institut fuer
  AA> Stroemungsmechanik und elektronisches Rechnen im Bauwesen Universitaet
  AA> Hannover, West Germany           2B  ||  ! 2B  (W. Shakespeare)
  AA> ______________________________________________________________________
  AA> ________
  AA> ---
  AA>  * Origin: The Black Cat's Usenet <=> Fidonet Gateway (1:109/401.0)

SO stands for "Significant Other", your mate, be it a wife, husband or a lover.

Lola
From: andreas@appel012.hydromech.uni-hannover.de (Andreas A. W. Dunker)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Showers with SOs
Date: 2 Jan 93 11:36:33 GMT
Organization: University of Hannover, FRG
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA (K. Roper) writes:
:  Not us.  He sets the water entirely TOO COLD for my liking :>
: 
:  Kim

My wife has the same problem, but sometimes we find a good temperature
(preferebly after a walk on a cold winter day).

By the way: what is SO?

--
______________________________________________________________________________
Andreas Dunker         andreas@appel012.hydromech.uni-hannover.de
 Institut fuer Stroemungsmechanik und elektronisches Rechnen im Bauwesen
  Universitaet Hannover, West Germany           2B  ||  ! 2B  (W. Shakespeare)
______________________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: kapa@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (k.a.perkins)
Subject: Re: Mother In Laws and Wives
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 06:09:37 GMT
Summary: competition

In article <1992Dec15.205107.7303@orlith.bates.edu>, mperron@abacus.bates.edu (Michael Perron) writes:
> 
> 	Why is there such a problem between wives and mother in laws.
> This is certainly a prevalent problem in todays and yesterdays society, or so
> it seems.  I certainly have this problem and I am hoping to get some help
> by posting to this newsgroup.  
It's sort of hard to say without more specifics, but there are a couple
of things that I've seen.

one is competition - sometimes MIL is used to being the number one woman in
her son's life, and then he picks someone else.  This is annoying to the
MIL and unsettling to the wife, who can sense that she isn't exactly welcome.
In the worst case this can turn into a turf war, with stupid battles over
meaningless things.

There's also the issue of personal styles.  Face it, some people have some
idiosyncracies that make them difficult to get along with.  You put up with
your mother and your wife because you love them.  They turn a less kind eye
on each other than you do.  I love my folks a lot, but they can do
and expect strange things.  My MIL was the same, and my husband could never
see it the same as I did because she was his mom.  The only person I knew
who could see it the same was her other daughter in law.

You may love your mom and put up with her wierdnesses because she is your mom,
but your wife doesn't have that long history behind her.  Most of what she sees
is in the present.  In time I realized that my husband had for many years seen
the best of his mom, the long years and hard work and love and support that she
had provided.  I came in on the tail end and probably saw her at her worst.
Neither one of us had the "right" picture, just different ones.  

> 	It makes it awful hard for a (husband) especially with kids,  to
> lead a normal life when the two women are always fighting.  
Fortunately we never got to fighting.    It was being pregnant and having a
child that brought me from just accepting this lady to empathizing with her
and genuinely liking her.  Something that I tell other people in your situation,
actually people in your wife's situation, is that whatever the MIL's faults,
she loves your husband and your children in a way that few other people will,
and it is hard to not like that about someone.  It is one of the great regrets
of my life that my daughters will grow up not knowing this woman who loved
them so much.

Good luck.  Try to listen to what your wife is saying.  She probably knows
some truths about your mom that you don't see and even if nothing else changes,
she may appreciate knowing that you care about how she feels.

Kate Perkins
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: Teal <teal@ucsu.colorado.edu>
Subject: Can't Let Go of Her
X-Xxdate: Thu, 31 Dec 92 13:44:45 GMT
Organization: none
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d16
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 20:40:12 GMT

	What do I do? I can't let go of her.  She was my first girlfriend and I
started dating her at 25 but now she has moved on.  I can't accept the
fact that it's over and I am ruining what little we have left.  Now she
is seeing someone else and I am afraid of her pursuing intimacies with
him.  This is causing a severe depression.  What do I do?? I still love
her very deeply but her feelings for me are fading away. How do I let go?

Teal@ucsu.colorado.edu
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: pw@panix.com (Paul Wallich)
Subject: Re: Showers with SOs
Organization: Trivializers R Us
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 03:02:42 GMT

In article <1i7id0INNlue@bigboote.WPI.EDU> terrylee@bigwpi.WPI.EDU (Patricia M Currier) writes:
>In article <1htc66INNn27@network.ucsd.edu> mbreen@sdacs.ucsd.edu (Michael Breen) writes:
>>One of our plans for our "dream house" is a large bath with two shower heads,
>>so we can enjoy the "growing closer" without the jockeying for position
>>that occurs in our too-tiny single-shower-head bath.
>
>And I thought I was the only one who wanted a shower like that.  Anybody else
>out there in net.land that thinks showers should be made with two heads?  
>Maybe we can convince the plumbing industry to start making them standerd...

It's when you start planning the bathroom with two toilets
that they should probably bring in the folks with the
extra-long-sleeved jacket.

paul

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
Subject: thank yous!
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 05:11:16 GMT

My friends are about to get back onto the net, so I'm going to cease and 
desist this thread now.  I posted on behalf of several friends because I
had net access over Christmas.

Thanks to all of you who emailed me and posted here with replies.  Now
a bunch of us are going to see if we can't try and convince our friends
to rethink things.

Of major importance is the fact that I found out that one of the aims of
the marriage won't work.  It was intended to help the girl get in-state
tuition at a rather expensive college.  I found out that she won't qualify
anyway.

If anyone cares, I'll keep you updated.  These two are fairly headstrong,
so I'm not expecting much success, but we will try to dissuade them.

Oh, for all of you who questioned the validity of the retreat I mentioned,
no religion at all is involved (and to a certain emailer: you know who you
are, yes Catholic priests are TRAINED in the aspects of helping a couple
turn mutual love and respect into a working marriage with respect to
practicality.  And I don't know any divorced couple who went on one of 
those retreats.  They are purely non-religious but for a service on Sunday.)
in this retreat.  It's given jointly by priests, other clergy, and married
lay clergy.  They're highly successful.  I should know.  My parents survived
some pretty rough times because of the framework they laid.

Thanks for all your help!
Lady Firebird

--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: kevin@clsi.COM (Kevin Cameron)
Subject: Re: Sex After Marriage
Originator: kevin@dubhe
Reply-To: kevin@clsi.com
Organization: CAD Language Systems Inc.
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 92 15:30:46 GMT


>I'd be interested in hearing a female point of view on this but
>am open to any comments ... 

Time for professional help - see a doctor.

Kev.
-- 
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
Subject: Re: Showers with SOs
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 04:55:09 GMT

since my SO and I are in an LDR (long-distance relationship), we barely get
any time together and every second is precious whether or not we are having 
sex (:  Showering together usually is good for certain physical things and 
gives us time for more important things like talking later.

Besides, it's fun!

Lady Firebird

I don't have anything to do with UNC-CH and it doesn't have anything to do
with me and we'd both like to keep it that way.
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: .
Subject: Broken Engagements
Organization: .
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 14:41:18 GMT


I was wondering what were peoples experiences in broken engagements.
A friend of mine (really!) was engaged for two years to this girl,
they lived together for 9 months, then split up.  We had multiple 
discussions on what was the BEST way to break up or even if they should
have done so (I tried to avoid directly giving advice that might later
blow up in my friendship with him).  Since this group discusses 
relationships I hoped poeple might talk about how an engagement they were
in (or knew of) ended and/or how a breakup would best be done....

Thanks

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ilana@kiowa.scd.ucar.edu (Ilana Stern)
Subject: Re: Showering with spouse/SO?
Organization: NCAR/UCAR
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 22:44:20 GMT

In article <1992Dec30.220236.9162@nsisrv.gsfc.nasa.gov>, jgacker@news.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker) writes:
> anon.208@pax.tpa.com.au wrote:
> 
> : My wife and I shower together regulary, and we're just curious how
> : many other couples out there do so.  We did so during our engagement,
> : and are continuing on!
> 
> 	Is it an enjoyable practice, or do you do it just to
> save water?  (I'm half-kidding, and I'm getting married in March with
> no prior mutual living arrangements, so I just wonder).

The best reason to shower together is that the other person can
scrub your back right where you can't reach it.  

The best reason not to shower together is that one person is an early
riser and is in and out of the shower before the other person's eyes
are completely open.

I commute by bicycle most days so I shower here at work, not at home.
But on the weekends, I sure enjoy having my back scrubbed.

-- 
/\    "I'm only a human girl person.  I ain't always perfect."--Rambling Rose
  \_][ <--NCAR Ilana Stern dod#009 r.b. cliff swallow ilana@ncar.ucar.edu    
      \______________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: tedwards@wam.umd.edu (technopagan priest)
Subject: Re: Showering with spouse/SO?
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 09:38:59 GMT

In article <1992Dec30.220236.9162@nsisrv.gsfc.nasa.gov> jgacker@news.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker) writes:
>anon.208@pax.tpa.com.au wrote:
>: How many of you shower with your spouse/SO?  How often?

>	Is it an enjoyable practice, or do you do it just to
>save water?  

I cannot imagine a serious relationship without sex, or
without showering/bathing together!!!!!!

Besides, it's more private than a bedroom, no phones or
computers, etc. :)

There is nothing like a warm bubble bath by candlelight with
someone you love...

And always buy separate shampoo and conditioner...conditioner can
often be a useful emergency lubricant (did I say that? ;)

-Thomas


Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: jgacker@news.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Subject: Re: Can't Let Go of Her
Organization: Goddard Space Flight Center
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 21:25:56 GMT



Teal (teal@ucsu.colorado.edu) wrote:
: 	What do I do? I can't let go of her.  She was my first girlfriend and I
: started dating her at 25 but now she has moved on.  I can't accept the
: fact that it's over and I am ruining what little we have left.  Now she
: is seeing someone else and I am afraid of her pursuing intimacies with
: him.  This is causing a severe depression.  What do I do?? I still love
: her very deeply but her feelings for me are fading away. How do I let go?
: 
: Teal@ucsu.colorado.edu



	You will.  The first "love-of-my-life" I pursued on and off for
six years until she married someone else.  She's now divorced, and we
stay in touch, but I'm marrying someone else even more wonderful in
3 months.  As the St. Pauli people say:  "You never forget your
first girl".  But that doesn't mean you have to waste your life
because of her.
	Just put your shoes on, find a group you like, and start looking
around.  My singles group (church-based) had so many young eligible
good-looking single women it was like a feeding frenzy.  I dated just to
get better at dating.  I finally got it right after umpteen tries.
	Just DO IT.  Live your own life.  Get a hobby.  Exercise --
if you choose the health club right, there are prospects there, too.
Devote your life to the pursuit and study of women, and eventually,
you'll get to a chapter that really appeals to you.

	Got it?

	Jim Acker
	jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov

Newsgroups: soc.couples
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 22:05:27 EST
From: K. Roper <ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Showers with SOs

 Not us.  He sets the water entirely TOO COLD for my liking :>

 Kim