From: eisimps@cie.uoregon.edu (Eileen Simpson)
Newsgroups: alt.rush-limbaugh,alt.activism.d,alt.politics.elections,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton,talk.politics.misc,talk.abortion
Subject: Re: Walking down to the student center last night
Date: 9 Oct 92 05:12:24 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon Campus Information Exchange

In article <1992Oct8.211540.23545@dartvax.dartmouth.edu> William.A.Hall.Jr.@dartmouth.edu (William A. Hall Jr.) writes:
>
>Jennifer, I have a simple question for you.
>
>Suppose your mother, when she was pregnant with you, decided that
>pregnancy and childraising was too much of a burden and decided to,
>instead, terminate her pregnancy. You wouldn't be here! If my mother
>did so, neither would I!
>
>That's the biggest reason why abortion should be banned. 

I disagree, and it is not a theoretical discussion for me.  My mother
was pregnant with me before my parents married and before abortion was legal.
As a result of my experiences with how she and my father handled that, I am
pro-choice.

This is not a statement that I wish I was dead.  It *is* a statement that I
wish my mother had been clear that she was making a choice to have have a
child rather than feeling she was forced to have one.  My mom has acted
like I owe her big time--my life literally.

Now this is how it is:  we all "owe" our parents for our lives in one
sense, but not in terms of having to give up our happiness and dreams in
order to conpensate them for what they feel they "lost" by having us.  When
we are asked to go into that system it is sicko.  When abortion is illegal,
my experience is that people feel trapped and that kids get to experience
that.  Studies in eastern Europe have confirmed my personal experience on
this point.

*I* who I am today, was not present when my parents decided to have sex,
nor when they decided not to risk an illegal abortion.  *I* the personality
who is conscious, was present each and every time they covertly or overtly
asked me to thank them for not aborting me.  This is sicko, too.

My mom sees *me* the person, as responsible for her choices.  Her life went
out of control when she found she was pg.  This is not an unusual reaction,
and the Eastern Europe studies prove it is actually the most common
emotional response of women who feel they have no options.

To some degree, your post is asking us to treat the accident of our sperm
and egg meeting as an event which we had a right to insist upon.  I don't
want to push that to the n-th degree.  If my parents had used a condom, I
wouldn't be here either.  I don't see advocating birth control should be
illegal as a result.

Having actually lived out the senario you propose, I do not support your
conclusion.  I accept that it could be valid for you or for others, but the
healing of my life has come from saying that my mother made choices and had
options and that I do *not* owe her in the way you are advocating.

People are different.  They do not see things the same way.  What you see
as absolute and clear, I see as an argument for the other side.  That's
just the way it is: our experiences are different and our desires are
different.  It doesn't matter how many arguments I make to you or you make
to me, we will continue to have individual needs and views that will sound
awful to the other.  The difference is that I accept your needs for you,
and you do not accept my needs for me or any possible off-spring I might
produce.