From: an1915@anon.penet.fi (Shelley Porter)
Subject: Reflections
X-Anonymously-To: alt.transgendered
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 18:57:04 GMT


[This is also being sent to CDforum.  Apologies for redundancy.]

There are several items that have arisen during the last little while I
would like to comment on.

First of all, I agree with those who suggest that vicious flames like
the one from England be ignored.  Doing otherwise simply gives them the
attention they crave.  

Also, I am in favour of minimizing embedded relpies.  Whole long letters
repeated make reading and downloading difficult.  Sometimes it really
pays, but often it is tiresome.

More importantly, someone was asking about bodyshapers.  As one sister
suggested, Lane Bryant is terrific.  They have a large catalogue and
*very importantly* their return policy is very generous and easy.  They
have a number - 1-800-477-7030 - where you can request a catalogue and
get on their mailing list.  


The other item I wanted to comment on was the issue of work related
halloween parties.  I went to to events very close to each other this
Halloween.  The party given by a friend was attended by many
acquaintances.  My wife and I both CD'd and had a ball, but, yes, *sigh*
I did camp it up a bit.  I would *never* wear makeup the way i did to
that party.  And its not just paranoia.  Several years aGO when I didn't
camp it up to a party, a friend told me that his wife remarked: "He
seemed too relaxed.  I think he's done that before."

Now the world did not come to an end, but these were friends
speculating, not co-workers indulging in gossip.  My priorites as a TV
are to live my life, make my living, and enjoy my crossdressing.  I
would not jeopardize my career for my lingeries. {:-)  This is made
possible by my being very much TV and not at all TS.  Were that the case
I think it wouldbe a very different situation.

Mind you, I would, like all of us, I imagine, love most to wear what I
felt like wearing when I felt like wearing it.  The world is not ready
for that.  

My last comment can be called Shelley's Paradox, or, The TVs Law that
Success leads to Failure.  It has to do with wives.  Again, I have in
mind the typical TV.  

Generally a TV tells his wife after marriage.  This is as often the case
because the TV found out himself after marriage as out of fear.
Sometimes the wife knows before, but knowing and understanding\ are very
different things.  Like any other boy/girl relationship, the TV met his
wife dressed as a male.  They were attracted to each other and nature
followed its course.  At some point beofre or after marriage the
crossdressing is discovered or announced or shared or indulged in.  Now
here comes the paradox.  The TV's wife is heterosexual:  she is
attracted to men, and her husband in particular.  She is not a lesbian,
and may not even have an iota of lesbian tendency.  Consequently, *the
better the TV succeeds in achieving his illusing of being female, the
less turned on his wife will be.*

This may not be important to those for whom crossdressing and eroticisim
are completely separated, but for many of us there is significant
crossover.  Even if there isn't, that does ot mean that the TV does not
want to have  lovemaking experiences while dressed.

My own research (which is informal but fairly extensive) shows that even
most _supportive_ wives decline sexual activity with a crossdressed
mate.  Brenda, in a CDforum posting, refers to the liklihood of our
being turned on by a wife dressed seriously as a man.  I know for me, it
would only work if I were also crossdressed (or once in a while as a
*favour*.) 

There's lots more to be said on this subject, but I'll stop at this
point and get some reactions.  

Love to all,
	    Shelley






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