Newsgroups: alt.dads-rights,alt.child-support,soc.men
Subject: Re: Itemized accounting of child support
From: lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca
Date: Wed, 06 Jan 93 09:11:51 PST
Organization: The Old Coot's (Spare) Almanac

smile1@dancer.cc.bellcore.com (gray,david l) writes:

> In article <1993Jan5.174701.17496@linus.mitre.org> cgates@mitre.org (Curt Gat
> >In article <1993Jan4.152935.6417@desire.wright.edu> 
> >sbishop@desire.wright.edu writes:
> >> Besides, the point that was
> >> actually under discussion was whether child support should provide more
> >> than a minimal amount of support.
> >
> >I picked up the thread without being able to see the start, and gathered 
> >from the title that it had something to do with accountability -- making 
> >sure support money went to feed and care for the child (children), and not 
> >to fund mommys drug and bingo habits.   The actual amount of support 
> >starts to be irrelevant when mom blows most of it on herself and leaves 
> >the child in need of shoes and a winter coat.   
> >
> I agree.  There really is no way to really equate payments to results.  What
> you really want is your child raised right.  I am willing to bet if most
> NCPs were allowed to have a real parent influence in the raising of their
> children and overall they were being raised properly accountings would not
> come up.  But some CPs do a real bad job and the system refuses to address
> the issue.  

Agreed (*SOME* CPs).
> 
> How would you address the real issue good parenting?  If you can determine
> quality, the winter coat will come on it's own.  My ex-wife asks me for more
> than a few hundred dollars at a time for things for my children.  I pay it 
> without reciept or much question.  We basically decide what is good for them
> and do it.  She is a real conscientious mother and I am not really interested
> in her being bothered keeping books.  Raising children is enough work in it
> self.  If she were a bum, I would want her off the job as CP and she could 
> keep her money.  I would just do it myself.  Accounting is not the real 
> problem, it is bad parenting.  If she were really a bad parent, I don't 
> really think I could stop her.

Rest deleted.

Smiley,

First of all, thanks for dispensing with the preacher stuff.  Secondly, I'm
curious, you stated in an earlier post that "divorce had ruined your relationship
with your daughters" and that you prayed "to God to keep them safe."   How
is it that you apparently respect and communicate well with your ex, yet you
say your divorce ruined your relationship with your daughters?  It seems to me
that *divorce* in itself doesn't ruin relationships with our children, we do.
Children have got to be the most forgiving group of people on the face of this
earth, when it comes right down to it.  So please explain how it is that you
and your ex are apparently so mature and respectful and tolerant in your
relationship with each other, yet your relationship with your daughters is
"ruined".

I don't get it.

Lisa

               lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca (Lisa Lambeth)
                      The Old Coot's Almanac
               Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada
                    Courtesy the old coot hisse'f!
Newsgroups: alt.dads-rights,alt.child-support,soc.men