From: mgundeko@pcserver2.Naitc.Com (Murthy Gundekota)
Subject: The Gundekota File: This time tips for male models
Organization: Somewhere near Chicago
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 92 19:13:07 GMT



The Gundekota File-Entry#16: This time tips for male models
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What do I know about male models? I wouldn't buy Fruit-of-the-loom
underwears because that darn thing hung well around that guy's darn
thing. Whereas I would still buy Crystal underwears because the Indian
company hasn't yet made jingoistic claims like `Made in country X with
pride.' Before I knew little about fashion, especially guy's fashions.
The only thing I understand about guy's fashions is that you don't
need to wear any tops to walk on a street, if you are a guy. A woman
needs, at least, a bra. And the bra can be pointed, flimsy, one piece
or two piece, tied with a string with knot on the front or back, hung
with glue or velcro. Now this is where the trouble begins. Guys, as
often as they can, ask ``What happens if that darn thing holding that
bra around the breasts drops like an autumn leaf?'' The answer varies,
depending upon which temperature zone you are living in. In a cold
country, such as here, we will shrug our shoulders and pretend we know
about frost bites, if not hickies. Although, near Canada-Milwaukee
border they will tell you, ``when the bra drops, the women are
liberated.'' In a hot country like India, the guys will claim the
woman loses her virginity. Well, we know that isn't the case. Simply
put, guys are stupid and they don't know the difference between
fashion and clothing. When a beautiful woman wears something, if at
all, it is fashion. Everything else is clothing. So far, I have proved
two things about myself: (i) I am a sexist and (ii) I know didley
about fashion and models.  

To undo the sexist part, let me mention a Charakdin ad I have come
across in a popular Indian magazine whose readers are mostly male.
There was this guy facing the camera (your eye) with his lower portion
of the body, while his upper body is turned to a woman getting
down from a carriage as though he is `giving her a hand' with that
arduous task of alighting. I am not going to dwell on the sophistry of
men helping beautiful women in life threatening situations such as
opening doors (when there is no fire), holding the elevator
(especially if the man is alone and worries that the elevator may be
stuck) and braking in the middle of the road where people are not
supposed to walk (even though the man is late for the work). With
regard to the Charakdin ad, the camera man made sure that the female
model wore nothing to cover her legs (I am not going to say how
athletic they are) and the carriage has no step.  Of course,
thankfully, one could see the face of the female model, to match with
her legs, whose eyes don't show expected flutter to suggest any trace
of fear associated with such an unergonomic, agoraphobic move.
Overall, the picture is choreographed as though a male dancer is about
to swing his female partner. But alas, as it turns out the male is
neither a dancer nor a body builder, and he is too frightened to show
his lower body to the female.

I agree I don't know much about fashion. But I do follow fashion: up
or down, just as you follow Dow Jones or your shares. As I've written
before most women's fashions move up or down, except for sari which
only goes around. This is not the only thing peculiar about sari.
There is one more thing unique to a sari. You can gift wrap a woman in
a sari! If this sounds terrible, then I can't but ask for forgiveness
and rely on my 20/20 vision. In this particular ad where a woman is
modelling for a sari, the sari is stiff like card-board (because of the
starch they've used), and the only thing you could see in that
crumpled imagery to assure you of the woman's wrongful place is a
feminine smile amidst the pickwick-paper mess. My heart cringed at its
sight, and I still think the photographer, if male, is a sexist pig;
if female, her photography is awful (what with all the shadows in the
sari ruffles?).

Before I sign off or die, which ever comes first, I want to say that
most Indian male models are good for advertising for soaps and shaving
creams. If you can't figure why, I can't figure why male models wear
3-piece woolen suits with shoes, and female models are simply clad in
some cotton with mirrors and `no shoes,' under `hot' sun noticeable in
the red shift of the color photograph. I think when someone wears that
many sheep under the hot sun, they sure do need to take several
showers with soap and then, by the force of habit, shave!


Murthy
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian,soc.culture.nepal