HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: R_WINES@TRZ860 (Rodney Wines)
Subject: Re: "Orgasms" posts belong in alt.sex, not here.
Organization: Alcatel STR AG, Switzerland
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 19:30:22 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.24

In <C1KFq5.IDA@news.cso.uiuc.edu> fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu writes:

> 	alt.romance is for posts concerning romance, not sex. 

As for the thread in question, and quite a few othere, I'd agree with you. 
I also simply don't belive most of what was posted there, although I'll
confess I didn't read the whole thread.  Apparently, you did, and thanks for
summarizing the thread for us.  That'll save some of us a lot of time, and
might alert a few to what they're missing.

> Now I know  the "flames" will say that sex is a part of romance and
> therefore their posts belong here.

Bearing your chest to take all the abuse that'll be heaped on you, huh John?
Poor guy, you've stuck with being the only light of reason and decency in
this wicked world.  Hey, it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.
Hand in there, help is on the way, I think Buchanan will be back on CNN.

> Not so. Romance is a far more gentle aspect of being than
> the raw sex you describe.

I always liked the quote from Isaac Asamov, "Sex IS dirty if you do it
right."

> The key word of your sex posts are: orgasm, laid,
> the "f" word, getting "some", and other such words common to whores and others
> of their acquaintance.

Aren't we a bit judgemental here? You equate sex with whores? That seems a
bit strong for me.

> The key words of romance (never mentioned in the sex
> posts) are: ...

Hmmm, it's "The key words of romance ...", never "IMHO, The key words of
romance ..."  So now you're Keeper of the Keys? Were you elected? I don't
remember a ballot coming around.  Did God just appoint you? How long is your
term? How's the pay? The hours must be murder!

As I said, I didn't like the thread.  I don't have a quarrel with you there.
One of the main reasons I stopped reading it was the less than flattering
way that women got talked about.  However, I don't share your apparent
belief that the type of woman who has sex outside of marriage is a whore,
and I don't think she should be treated like one.  That's what you're doing
when you equate the two.  I've seen a couple of your posts now where you
equate sex with whores.  You never complained about the men's attitudes. It
was the women you branded.  You seem to live in a very interesting world of
high contrast black & white.  Before you married, did you only have sex with
whores? Was that something "nice girls" don't do?

      ===================================================================
      | Rodney Wines, Alcatel STR AG,      | Phone: +41 1 465-2205      |
      | Friesenbergstr. 75, CH-8055 Zurich | FAX:   +41 1 465-2411      |
      -------------------------------------------------------------------
      | Internet:  rodney.wines@alcatel.ch | "I always wanted roots,    |
      | X.400:     c=CH a=arCom p=Alcatel  |  but if I can't have roots |
      |            s=Wines g=Rodney        |  I'll have wings."         |
      ===================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: dmcdowel@Nimitz.mcs.kent.edu (Duane McDowell)
Subject: Re: When is it Miss/Mr. Right
Reply-To: dmcdowel@mcs.kent.edu
Organization: Kent State University CS
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 14:52:27 GMT

In article <C1Doox.Hp@undergrad.math.waterloo.edu>, papresco@napier.uwaterloo.ca (Paul Prescod) writes:
> This is Paul's girlfriend Lilia...I think everyone has in their heads
> an idea of the "perfect" person.  Unfortunately, I think finding that
> person is impossible.  There will always be some physical or emotional
> "flaw" making it impossible.  Too many people are searching for the
> "perfect" person when they should be looking for the most compatible
> person.  Only you can decide what flaws are tolerable and what ones are
> not.

	I disagree with this point of view. I don't know whether it is
possible to find the "perfect person" for you. The main thing that
troubles me is that you start  talking about some "flaw" in the
person that makes it impossible. Tell me... WHat is a "flaw" in a person? Is
it a "Flaw" that allowed a person to be "raped"? Is it a "Flaw" that a
person holds a pen in their left hand rather than their right? Is it a
"flaw" that makes a person get angry because when they were young,
their dad hit them? I disagree with your premise that whoever you meet
has a "flaw"... That "flaw" is part of that person. And I don't think
it is a "flaw" at all. Do You think you are "Flawed"? If so why? 

	Why look at thing you call "flaws" as mistakes? Why not look
at them as being a part of the person that you didn't know or didn't
expect? No one can completely know another person, I don't think but
that doesn't mean that a person can't learn about another person. I
think that if you view life the way you present it in this manner that
you are limiting the number of great people that do exist. 

	This is not to say that some people don't have problems. Name
one person you know that doesn't. and I'll show you a person that
either handles their problems well or ignors his problems (which is
bad).
Even I have problems. But it's how we as humans deal with our problems
that determines whether we are a success or not..

					Duane McDowell
					
					dmcdowel@mcs.kent.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Re: I'm baaaaaack.
Keywords: I was here before, I am here again.
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems Inc.
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 93 23:09:49 GMT

In article <93Jan22.234628.20992@acs.ucalgary.ca> lastuka@acs.ucalgary.ca (Tina Lastuka) writes:
>In article <1993Jan18.080522.28058@csus.edu> beckerd@juliet.ecs.csus.edu (David Becker) writes:
>>Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a romantic named
>>'Beaker' who used to read this group.  (Ok, so it wasn't THAT

**deleted stuff**

>   Welcome back!  Congrats on finding love... gives those
>   of us there who have given up some hope!
>
>   *HUGGLES*
>
>   tina

Yes, Beaks old buddy!  Glad to see ya back, and with a new name yet!
Cool!

And Tina, you will always have me, well for one night anyway... :-)

rip(Worthless Slave to MA, and Tina's for one night...)
-- 
Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant
intelligence.
                -- Henrik Tikkanen
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@nuge112.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: I am I cheep or What?
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 14:29:39 GMT

jmorriss@uwsuper.edu (JON M. MORRISSETTE) writes:

>   Ok for some time now my SO has forbid me to buy her anything, and i have
>been feeling vary cheep about this becuase i had give her something that
>i dont use any more for X-mas and she just bit my head off for wanting to 
>buy a birthday present for her. And right now I feel like i am being
>overly cheep with her. Am I?

 First of all, it depends on how much money you have---if you're always broke,
then you're not.  But, on the other hand, if Donald Trump asks YOU for loans...
:&)

 But, seriously, it seems that your SO's being quite confusing.  IMHO, she does
want you to buy her things (despite what she says) and feels that the amount of
$$$ you spend on her is proportional to how much you love her.

-- 
"Protect endangered species!  Contribute to the Exxon Supporter's Fund!"
"Pay no attention to that little man behind the keyboard."
"If you want to look for fish, best not to look in desert."
"The greatest beauty in the world is beauty that is private."
From: llk4k@Virginia.EDU ("Lori Karalow")
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 22:31:07 GMT

Strong enough to get up, get me a beer, hand me the remote and
make the bed in the morning!
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: hf10@crux2.cit.cornell.edu (FieryPhoenix)
Subject: Re: Princess Bride ... AGAIN!
Organization: Cornell Information Technologies
Date: 27 Jan 93 04:06:47 GMT

     About the condensending thing.....if you think, in the movie, he was
condensending, you should read the book!  I'm up to the fire-swamp and so far
the movie portrays Buttercup in much more of a favorable light than the book.

_Fp
From: soswald@charlie.usd.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Romance and Babies
Date: 26 Jan 93 20:39:32 GMT
Reply-To: soswald@charlie.usd.edu
Distribution: usa
Organization: The University of South Dakota Computer Science Dept.

In article <C13Dvn.DB0@cmptrc.lonestar.org>, jwoods@cmptrc.lonestar.org (Jeff Woods) writes:
>In article <1993Jan15.023356.2515@cgrg.ohio-state.edu> demetri@cgrg.ohio-state.edu writes:
>|My husband and I are expecting our first child in July.  We're both very
>|excited, but I'm always hearing about how marital satisfaction takes a nose
>|dive after the birth of a baby.  We have a wonderful marriage and I like to
>|think we can keep it that way.  Can anyone out there relate your
>|experiences?  How do you balance everything?  How do you keep the romance
>|in your marriage?
>|
>|                                 Renee
>

I can't image my life without my kids around. Their underfoot, noisy, bossy,
demanding, etc but, you know, when they're spending a weekend with their dad I 
wander around the house and wish they were with me.  As much of a "pain" that 
children might be considered, I know that my life is better because of them.

Just remember, even though kids take up a lot of time, everyone needs to learn
to respect each others private time.  You will need to be "selfish" and take
some time for yourself, to do something for yourself.  So will your husband. 
And you'll also need spend time alone together, not just to pay bills or clapse
in front of the boob-tube or discuss what to do when little Johnny hits little
Jane next door, but to take walks and hold hands, and cuddle on the
couch, and keep in touch with each others thoughts and souls.

In the day-to-day flurry of trying to accomplish to much in too little time,
you will need to find time to "smell the roses".
 
-Sandy Munkvold
SOSWALD @ charlie.usd.edu
From: caforce@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (DALE FORCE)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Any cure for the "Just wanna be friends" Blues?
Date: 26 Jan 93 22:30:00 GMT
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <20JAN199322124752@pavo.concordia.ca>, f_alfan@pavo.concordia.ca (Doom, Herald Of the Apocalypse) writes...
>Sorry to bring a down note into your lives, folks...BUT
> 
>Neil Diamond's music aside, what's a good way to get rid of the "Just
>Wanna Be Friends" (tm) Blues? I just got this line for the 35th time, so
>I'm not eactly a chipper camper anymore. Any suggestions?

God only knows. I kept getting that sort of thing too, eventually found out 
that at least two of them had been in love with me, but a proposal (
repeated) was not enough to presaude them I was serious. It seems that you 
have to tell them that you are all the man they want and need. ( Hard when 
they are saying your not by turning down your proposals and going after 
other men). Eventually a woman showed me she was in love with me and then I 
could see other women's love for me.
>                               Even Nerds need love too :)
>                                            --Fab
> 
> 
> 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: caforce@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (DALE FORCE)
Subject: Re: Help...?
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Keywords: ex-boyfriends
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center
Date: 28 Jan 1993 17:20 EST  

In article <1993Jan24.150231.13906@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, mreinker@nyx.cs.du.edu (matthew Reinker) writes...
>Disclaimer:  I'm using my current boyfriend's account to do this, and it
>is my problem.  I'd rather not use my name so I'll use "Companion".
> 
>	Since then, I've basically said LJBF and forgave him, plus I
>developed a loving relationship here at college (a story in itself).  My
>ex and I were maybe secretly engaged for a month, and told my parents a
>week or two before we broke up, maybe two months all together.  I don't
>want to write him off completely, but I'm afraid he's obsessed with me, he
>seems to have this thing for dating a girl and getting them in bed, I
>broke his record, so to speak, I'm afraid to see him again, because of
>what could happen should we end up alone somewhere.
>	Gals and Guys of AR, please send advice c/o :
>		
>		Mattre@linfield.edu
>	It would be appreciated, or just post here.

If he is only sending you letters on rare occasions he is probably not 
obsessed with you. (Which may be hard to take.) I've maintained contact 
like that in some relationships where I cared deeply about the other person 
for years, with a wish to get back together, but falling in love and even 
proposing to other women (they didn't say yes).
Two points though:
1.That he ran around while you were engaged is very WORRISOME (not what he 
did afterwards).
2.If your afraid of falling in bed with him, you need to consider your 
relationship with him. (Also with your current boyfriend, who sounds like a 
very caring person, don't make the mistake of not thinking of a friend as a 
lover, I done that too, and missed a great relationship.)
From: gthkoh@ntuix.ntu.ac.sg (Koh Thong Hwee)
Subject: Re: interesting definition of love...
Organization: Nanyang Technological University - Singapore
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 05:53:17 GMT

Stephen Dennison (afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov) wrote:
: I *hate* to keep peeing in the punch here, but ...

: In article <1993Jan15.085956.15064@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu>, jlkershner@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu (Kersh!) writes...
: >Hi there!
: > 
: >I just wanted to followup on Dan's post with another definition of love...
: > 
: >--Love is when you would do anything he/she asks of you.  
: > 
: If she asked you to give up the art you loved, or alter it to her 
: specifications, so that you could pursue traditional `couple' things, the 
: answer would be .... er ...

: >--The catch is, if he/she truely loves you back, he/she would never ask 
: >anything to harm you.

: Bear in mind that, from *her* perspective, this wouldn't harm you. I'm not 
: sure how many artists we have out there (I'm talking about musicians 
: specifically, but this could apply to almost any art one might become 
: passionately involved in), but personally I've heard the phrase "You love your 
: music more than you love me !" more times than I care to count. It's a 
: statement that precludes *both* from existing in my life, yet I need both 
: to be happy. 

: -- Stephen


I look upon love as the willingness to do anything that will help your loved
one to grow (ie. mature).

This does not mean anything that she asks especially if it is unhealthy or
unreasonable.  It does mean cooking your dinner if she has to complete an
assignment at work or being patient with her if she keeps making silly 
mistakes while learning to cook/drive/paint the house etc.  It means listening
to her complaints as she work off her frustrations from her work place or 
with the children.

And if she loves you, she is expected to do likewise.  She should try
to understand why your art or music mean so much to you, to your development
as a more complete person.  And you should also try to understand why 
spending time on your art or music is frustrating her.  Both should be
willing to discuss honestly what it means to each one and also try to see
the other person's point of view.  It means also a willingness to change
certain routines or habits of YOUR own in order to reach an agreed
compromise.

A relationship build upon such an understanding is, IMHO, more likely to
go far and be fulfilling to both parties at the same time.


TH
From: petitc@nuge115.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Any cure for the "Just wanna be friends" Blues?
Date: 26 Jan 93 23:26:05 GMT

caforce@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (DALE FORCE) writes:

>God only knows. I kept getting that sort of thing too, eventually found out 
>that at least two of them had been in love with me, but a proposal (
>repeated) was not enough to presaude them I was serious. It seems that you 
>have to tell them that you are all the man they want and need. ( Hard when 
>they are saying your not by turning down your proposals and going after 
>other men). Eventually a woman showed me she was in love with me and then I 
>could see other women's love for me.

  Same here (well, sorta).  I also would need real proof through actions
(not just sex, obviously---something like kissing or holding hands---
something you just don't do with friends, but do with LOs).  Until that time,
I'd find it very difficult to believe that someone does indeed truly love me.

>>                               Even Nerds need love too :)
>>                                            --Fab

 Uh, are you sure it isn't "Even Detergent needs love too"? :&)

-- 
"Protect endangered species!  Contribute to the Exxon Supporter's Fund!"
"Pay no attention to that little man behind the keyboard."
"If you want to look for fish, best not to look in desert."
"The greatest beauty in the world is beauty that is private."
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Possible FAQs (Was: Re: Girls can be confusing...)
Date: 26 Jan 93 14:10:42 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.54

In article <_-l3!w#@rpi.edu> petitc@vccsouth04.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:
>  That reminds me---what would people like to see in the FAQ (I'll compile
>one we can post weekly or monthly)?
>
>  o Why Women Choose Jerks Over Nice Guys
>  o What to do if a woman flirts off and on

- Why do men choose bimbos over Nice Women?
- What to do when he (or she) doesn't call and promised to?
- When is it Mr/Mrs Right?
- I keep getting "I love you like a brother, but..." (or something like it)
- Whenever I try to turn friendships into romances, I get burned...
- No one loves me, why? (And I'm a Nice Guy, too.)
- I can't get dates, what do I do? 
- I believe in love and romance, how can I be cured? ;-)

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
From: cscdc@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu (Dan Carpenter)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Girls are Confusing! So are Women.
Date: 27 Jan 1993 17:48:53 -0600
Organization: Educational Computing Network
NNTP-Posting-Host: uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

This Subject line says it all.  Well almost all.

Men are confusing, too.  I ought to know, I am one and I get confused
all the time.  Well most of the time.  Don't you?

8-))

Dan


Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: jggoslin@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Gorilla Welfare)
Subject: Re: I'm baaaaaack.
Keywords: I was here before, I am here again. 
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester MI.
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 17:31:45 GMT

>>>Remember the Hopeless Romantics of the World Who were born in 1973
>>>club?  Oh yes... The prez is back...
>>Oh, I remember you guys. Made me feel so ooooooold! (A hopeless romantic who
>>was born in 1969 :-)
>old from '69??  Oh ghod...what does that make use from 1962 and
>before??  I think I need my cane ... *grin*
>Doesn't seem to matter what age we are, we're all romantics!!
I agree with this... totally... 

I mean, I look at my grandparents and I think, wow! they're really
romantic!  And they're over 85 years old each!

So don't worry if you're an old fart Mary  ;)  Romance is like wine,
it improves with age...  :)

Gorilla Welfare
President of the Non-Age-Discriminatory (contd next line)
Hopeless Romantics Of The World Who Were Born in 1973
From: lieven@cco.caltech.edu (Lieven Pascal Leroy)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: younger & more experienced man
Date: 22 Jan 93 21:59:35 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: punisher.caltech.edu

cvaba532@vmsb.is.csupomona.edu writes:

>is age a problem? is experience or lack thereof a big deal?

There's a lot of maturing going on around the ages you mentioned, so you
could find you've got a lot of differences.  Not necessarily bad, and
certainly no more or less important than other personality differences.
So age in and of itself is no big deal.  Unless there are angry parents to
deal with or something. :)

As for the second point, your personality isn't defined by lack of experience
in relationships.  There's a lot more, and the sum of that should matter a
lot more in getting along with someone than how many SOs each of you have had.
It sounds like you're sweating that point too much.  Really, the rest of
your life counts.  If that's why you think the kiss didn't work, maybe you're
seeing it in too negative a light.  It's _always_ awkward, first time. I hear.

Hoping it works out,
--Lieven
lieven@leland.stanford.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: carl@sscl.uwo.ca (Carl Kaufmann)
Subject: Re: Valentine's Day gift suggestions needed!!
Organization: Soc.Sci.Comp.Lab., U.West.Ont.
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 14:42:20 GMT

In article <105807@netnews.upenn.edu>, pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo) writes:
> 
> Does anyone have any suggestions for a really romantic Valentine's Day
> gift for a long-distance SO?  I was trying to think of something
> special, since this is our first (and hopefully only) Valentine's Day
> apart.  What have other LDRs done for each other on Valentine's Day?

Well, I have a triple-whammy: an LDR and her birthday is Valentine's Day!
What to do, what to do?  Any and all suggestions gratefully welcomed.
 
> Thanks in advance!

Yeah, what she said. :)

*******************************************************************************
*  See how the heart reaches  *  Carl Kaufmann   *    Trust is the ultimate   *
*  out instinctively, for no  * Soc.Sci.Comp.Lab *    aphrodisiac.            *
*  reason but to touch.       *    U.West.Ont    *                            *
*        -Kate Bush           * carl@sscl.uwo.ca *       -Me                  *
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: demetri@cgrg.ohio-state.edu 
Subject: Interracial Romance
Organization: OSU Advanced Computing Center for the Arts and Design
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 02:54:06 GMT

So how does one go about starting a new newsgroup anyway?

Renee

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jav56209@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Villanueva)
Subject: Re: Princess Bride ... AGAIN!
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 23:01:23 GMT

I think "The Man in the Moon" is a pretty romantic movie...

Just a thought,
Julie
Newsgroups: alt.romance