From: decay@cbnewsj.cb.att.com (dean.kaflowitz)
Newsgroups: talk.abortion
Subject: Re: Darned Antagonistic Medieval Attitudes (was Re: Clarifications)
Date: 9 Apr 92 04:21:09 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T

In article <1992Apr8.214928.29333@acd4.acd.com> wdo@IEDV4.acd.com ( Bill Overpeck (TE)  ) writes:
> In <1992Mar25.004526.22520@cbnewsj.cb.att.com> decay@cbnewsj.cb.att.com 
>    (dean.kaflowitz) writes: >
> In article <1992Mar24.200900.28907@acd4.acd.com> wdo@IEDV4.acd.com 
>    ( Bill Overpeck (TE)  ) writes: >>
>  In <EJONES.92Mar8140017@umassmed.ummed.edu> ejones@umassmed.ummed.edu 
>     (Erik Jones) advises: >>>
> 
> >You gotta stop dating women named Irene, Bill.  Listen to me.  I can
> >help you.  What you need is a Soozie or a Jenipher.  
> Uh, this is Indiana, Dean.  The best we can hope for here is a
> Candi (and they always have about two packs of Hubba Bubba in
> their mouths).
Shoot.  I hear it's hard for a woman to, uh, you know, with a
mouthful of Hubba Bubba.

What the hell is Hubba Bubba?  Is this some kind of Indiana thing?
> 
> >> I guess you're right; I'll never get me a good woman 'til I learn
> >> some modern attitudes.
> >It's not your attitude, it's the women you choose.  You gotta
> >break those old attitudes.  Get rid of that plastic pencil-holder/
> >pocket protector.  
> Easy.  One step at a time.  My pocket protector and I go way back.
This is worse than I thought.  I have a solution for you, Bi3ll,
but you'll have to read this all the way to the end to find it.
Or at least skip all the way to the end.
> 
> >Buy yourself a blue T-shirt and a white linen sportscoat, 
> Would polyester do?
No.  Absolutely not.  Are you sure you're a mental health
professional?  No.  The T-shirt has to be 100% Portugese cotton.
The sportscoat must be made in Italy.  Save this to a file.
You'll never remember it all.
> 
> >a pair of dark shades with black frame, royal
> >blue slacks, no socks, and white loafers.  
> I think you can only buy no socks in California.  Also, can the white
> loafers be patent leather (with matching belt)?
Nonsense.  I hear they sell them at every Wallmart (good-bye,
Sam - we'll all miss you) inthe country.  Special deals with 3
pairs of no socks for $3.99.

Make the loafers black, and the belt too.
> 
> >Stop driving that Taurus 
> uh .... psst ... (toyota pickup ... not 4wd, either)
Mazda 4WD.  Okay, so I'm the ruination of the American auto industry,
so sue me.
> 
> >and get yourself into a Grand Am.  
> Do they come in brown?
Sure.  When I get done, you'll be able to score with fully-
actualized and empowered female humans in any vehicle.
(That "fully-actualized" stuff is for the women who don't
realize that the word "score" was just for atmosphere and that
I am really sensitive and caring, with a nurturing side,
but at the same time tough and strong-minded.)
> 
> >And start spelling your name "Rgnduus,"  and tell them it's
> >pronounced "Bill."  That'll let 'em know you are way cool.
> I like Bi3ll (the 3 is silent).  Even now, there are women
> peeking over my shoulder...

Groovy.  I like that.  Now you're catching on.  But use a
character and not a number.  The 3 makes it seem like you're
automated or something.

Now, here's the real secret, and a very good friend of mine
told me about this.  In fact, she urged and cajoled me into
getting it and I am delighted I did.  Get your ear pierced.
Wear a stud.  I swear, it's a fully-actualized and
empowered female human magnet.

Justice Clarence Thomas