From: w2lee@argo.acs.oakland.edu (Walter Lee)
Subject: Re: Tough questions.
Reply-To: w2lee@argo.acs.oakland.edu
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester, MI
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 04:35:22 GMT

In article <BxMLBz.Duz.2@cs.cmu.edu>, anonymus+2941@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (Confused of Springfield) writes:

>There are some issues relating to my own feelings of gender dysphoria
>that I've had a tough time talking about with other people, even in
>electronic forums where no one really knows me. I guess it's the standard
>thing of wanting to fit in... However, since anonymity is available in
>this forum, I've thought "what the heck" and written this:

12 1/2 hours and counting.

>Sexual Urge.
>
>I've never heard much discussion of how (other M->F) transsexual people
>have coped with sexual frustration. It almost seems like it is the case
>that "nice girls don't masturbate", or something. It's a painful issue
>for me, because I wonder whether the fact that I indulge in masturbation
>once in a while somehow invalidates my transsexual leanings. I sort of
>feel that I ought to hate my male genitalia more than I actually do (my
>attitude is more "Well, they're very nice as male sex organs I guess,
>and they seem to work okay; it's just that I wasn't exactly after *male*
>sex organs"). It seems like my getting sexual pleasure from them
>contradicts the idea that I'd like to be rid of them.

That fact that your glans penis is wired to the pleasure center of your brain
may not be a good thing to agonize yourself philosophizing over.  I recommend
"The 'Empire' strikes back: A Posttranssexual Manifesto" by Sandy Stone, which
is in the book "Body guards:  the cultural politics of gender ambiguity" edited
by Julia Epstein and Kristina Straub.

>"Worse" perhaps, I've also masturbated while crossdressed. Does this
>mean that I'm not transsexual at all but that just a Fetishistic
>Transvestite, who isn't comfortable with that label (since it seems more
>"shameful" some how), and so wants to label themselves as Transsexual
>instead. I don't think this is the case, but the idea that it might be
>does sort of worry me.

The fact that the literature describes erecting and/or masturbating while
crossdressed as symptomatic of Fetishistic Transvestism and not of Primary
Transsexualism owes itself largely to the fact that psychotherapy involving
possible referral for SRS has traditionally been a set of hoops to be jumped
through.  (This is motivated partly by a sincere desire to provide professional
services of the highest standards, and partly by outright Pressure).  The
clients tend to read the psychiatric textbooks and want to present a textbook
case of whatever diagnosis (rubber stamp) leads to surgery.  Some of those
clients end up in research populations and, of course, the diagnostic criteria
end up having a lot fewer loose ends in the literature than in reality.

>Similarly, my amateurish attempts at gaffing feel nice (I say amateurish
>because I can't be certain whether I do the thing right, since I've
>never had a whole lot of advice on the subject - another taboo?). I
>don't know whether that's a feeling that comes from feeling that I've
>freed myself somewhat from my unwanted appendages, or whether it's just
>that the way it places everything naturally provides mild pleasure, or
>whether it's come kind of "dreadful gaffing fetish".

Some posters seem to sort have hinted at the idea of "how to do it" articles on
gaffing appearing on this newsgroup.  I'm looking forward to seeing them if
they ever get posted.  Maybe there would be liability is a concern.  There must
be some potential dangers in the practice.

My amateuish attempts at gaffing have had negative pleasure value.  They
stimulate more frustration than fantasy.

>Any thoughts?
>
>    Confused of Springfield.
>
>P.S.

>It is my understanding that the taking of hormones tones down all these
>"nasty urges", but hormones are still some vague future issue for me - I
>need to sort myself out some more before first. And yes, I am getting
>counselling...

I've never tried hormones.  I understand they might make you smaller in general
and less prone to those annoying erections.

>-- 
>By facilities staff decree, this service will
>be dismantled by 12 noon EST, Fri 13 Nov 1992.

So, as of T minus 12:20:00 I'm bracing myself for this reality by posting
non-anonymously.  Or will I?

If you can read this my cat must have stepped on the keyboard...

I hope this won't cause any major scandals at any of the newsgroups where I'm
one of the "regulars".

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Walter Lee    w2lee@argo.acs.oakland.edu

Don't blame me, I didn't vote!