HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: anon-1311@twwells.com (Noel)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: hanging by a thread
Date: 13 Nov 92 03:03:55 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Look,

this neighbor is a jerk...he is afraid...a coward. YOu did the right thing by
wanting to trust your lover...however, the one thing that is so personal and
intimately shared with someone else, lovemaking, does not necessarily mean a
true bond has been formed with that partner. You know a true friend. One who
does not] judge or hurt. Just because you were physically intimate with this guy
does not mean that he is your friend....these may be hard words to hear, but
important words.

I too, have thought that a lover was also my friend and that I could tell him
any- thing. NOT! Until you really get to know someone, (in other ways than
physical) you cant be sure of friendship, which is something I take very
seriously.

My heart hurts too, sometimes. Your only boo boo was to confide in the wrong
person....to bad, his loss....sounds like your a great lady to me!!!!

Gotta be strong in this world. You were a victim. It was not your Fault.
Remember that.

Maybe when you feel stronger, you can confront him with this.....telling him how
you feel. Finding out what he is REALLY made of.


Good luck,


NOEL



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From: anonymus+845@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Subject: asar- no more???
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 21:43:34 GMT

I can't believe this!!

This group is necessary for a lot of
people--- Is there nothing we can do
about this???

Our voice need to be heard-- we need 
the support that this group has offered

Any suggestions

-- 
By facilities staff decree, this service will
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From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Need ehugs, please...
Date: 10 Nov 92 00:22:56 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

"E-HUG"
"E-HUG"
"E-HUG"
(And as many more as you need.)

A friend of mine once said to me, "It's okay to have a bad moment every
now and then, but try to have a good DAY every day.  No bad DAYS. 
Amen."

Not always easy, but quite necessary.

The Captain



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: Gavin.Flower@comp.vuw.ac.nz (Gavin Flower)
Subject: Re: First post-what to do on holidays?
Organization: Dept. of Comp. Sci., Victoria Uni. of Wellington, New Zealand.
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 22:05:35 GMT

I realy love your selected name "Silver Tiger".

It conjures up visions of beauty, power, and grace.


Gavin

-- 
Tomorrow's Society                              | flower_g@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz
    Depends on                                   ----------------------------
Today's Children  - help us raise them properly! 
*******  These comments have no known correlation with dept. policy!  *******
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: 24-hour notice: anonymus@godiva going down
From: anonymus+0@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (Karl Kleinpaste, ACS administrator)
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 17:16:46 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service

Many apologies to the inhabitants of alt.sexual.abuse.recovery who
have been, without exception, good and decent users of the anonymous
posting service via anonymus@godiva.

Abusive users of the system elsewhere have led to the requirement that
the system be dismantled.  Local facilities staff will not permit its
continued existence.  You can find a few details in a similar posting
in, e.g., alt.personals.

You have 24 hours in which to contact correspondents and either
exchange real email addresses or else find other means by which to
remain in contact.

Again, I'm sorry.  No a.s.a.r user was at fault.

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From: anon-1376@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: canadian pariticipation
Date: 8 Nov 92 17:57:45 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com


ANNOUNCE:YES

 * SLMR 2.1a * 


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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: faype@bcvms.bc.edu
Subject: Re: compartmentalization
Organization: Boston College
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 14:17:36 GMT

In article <1992Nov9.040653.8935@muddcs.claremont.edu>, rmitchel@jarthur.claremont.edu (bob) writes:
> 
> warning: so now it is my turn. i'm writing this as someone quite
> concerned about what his reality may turn into if he accepts 
> something that is beginning to look more and more likely... anyone
> with more knowledge or comments, people with MPD or not, i am in
> need of some reasurrance and guidance.
> 
> i read the description in the DSM-III R about a month ago, and used
> my interpretation to declare myself sane. unfortunately, the whole
> DSM-III R started blurring together over time, and so on friday, my
> reasoning part had false information that it was using to convince
> me i was mistaken--i could not possibly consider the analogy to hold
> any water for me.

I don't think it's particularly helpful to dwell on the "disorder" part of 
MPD - after all, it is NOT an illness.  Ellen Bass (bless her untrained
soul) indignantly described MPD not as a disorder, but as "Multiple Personality 
Miracle" - that is, an extraordinary talent for coping with extraordinary 
abuse.  The DSMII-R, after all, is not so much a description of illnesses 
as a description of clusters of symptoms we give a name to - schizophrenia,
bipolar disorder, Adjustment Reaction. In other words, a description of 
attributes that merely fall outside of the "normal" range.  Often, the only 
thing which distinguishes a "disorder" from a normal person having problems 
with his life is the *degree* - i.e., how far from the norm are the symptoms.

Therefore dissociation, which every living person experiences as a normal 
part of life, becomes a disorder when it tends to seriously interfere in
one's functioning, as in PTSD, or MPD.  And one can argue that these are 
not "interferences", but healthy adaptations.  Take your pick.  Also, since 
they are only symptoms, their severity varies along a wide continuum, 
depending on the person.  

And MPD can become a welcome way of explaining one's world rather than
being a stygma.

-pete
(faype@bcvms.bc.edu)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: need e-hugs
From: anonymus+1401@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (darkangel)
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 00:18:24 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service






                        (hug hug hug hug)



darkangel
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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Subject: Re: This is kinda scarey
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 20:32:01 GMT

anon-1349@twwells.com (P.J.) writes:

>Hi - I've been reading the postings for a couple of months now.  First I
>worked up the courage to send for the help message, etc.  Now, I've
>(apparently) gotten up the courage to actually post something.  However -
>I'm not sure that I am yet ready to say anything of substance.  Suffice it
>to say that I have suffered various types of abuse - and have questions
>about whether or not I was sexually abused due to bits and pieces of
>memories that are hard to perceive or interpret.  I know that when I am
>ready that this group will be supportive as I seek to answer the questions
>and deal with the pain.

welcome, mary.  we'll do our best, i'm sure.  until then, take your time,
don't go any faster with it than you want to.  we'll be here when you're
ready. 

>Mary
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
From: anon-1348@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: the weekend
Date: 9 Nov 92 18:47:16 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

why does it seem like all hell breaks lose at once?  I went to visit
an old boyfriend of mine this past weekend.  I have known this person
for about 10 years; we've stayed good friends, even though he lives
more than 200 miles away. 
Anyway during the past few months I have told him about my being a
survivor, and he has supported my process.  He's listened to me and
just been there for me when I've felt depressed and overwhelmed.  Now
I am faced with a problem.  I've known for some time that he drinks -
to excess (he's alchoholic).  He of course, doesn't see any problem
with his drinking... why? When everyone he knows drinks the same way;
there must be no problem.
Anyway - I wrote him a long letter after the last time I visited to
tell him that I could not stand by and watch him slowly kill himself.
 I said that I could not be around him when he drinks... To make a
long story short, he promised not to drink during my visit(s).  I am
sure he did not drink in my presence; although he might have sneaked
in a few before or after he went to work.  
Two things - first I woke up because he was shaking in his sleep.  I
wasn't sure, but I thought he was exhibiting withdrawal symptoms.
Then, when he came home from work, he told me he had just come back
from the hospital, because he had had a seizure at work.  
I felt guilty - because I thought that that wouldn't have happened if
I had "allowed" him to drink.  I know that's stupid of me to think;
but I felt bad.  I don't know too much about alcoholism; I would
appreciate people letting me know if seizures are a common symptom,
or if people can just let me know how I can help (in a
non-codependent way).  I do not want to get sucked into enabling
behavior.  Thanks for the help ahead of time.

Phoenix

ANNOUNCE:  YES
MAIL:  YES



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Subject: Re: i don't remember...i don't recall
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 18:45:32 GMT

anonymus+322@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (poohbear) writes:


>i have no memory of anything at all...
>peter gabriel.

>i think i am going to be gone a while, i am thinking 
>of going to a respite house.  it's just not fairing
>having my roommates be so one edge.  fair i mean.

>i haven't definitely decided, but the cutting is
>soon to be out of control again and i don't want
>to get kicked out of school.

>sio if you don't hear from poohbear she might
>not be dead, just gone for a bit.

>sorry
>and thanks for the squishy animals and sandal and warm
>thoughts and hugs (i've never been able to take them
>before, but this pit is just too deep) and strenght,
>you all did such wonderful things, i just can't make
>it right now i think.  maybe.  i don't know.

thanks for the warning, poohbear.  i'm glad you will be getting help, and it
will be nice to know that you are ok rather than worrying about what may be
happening.  i have this tendancy to always suspect the worst when i don't know
what's going, so thank you for letting us know.
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: hello from kk
Date: 5 Nov 92 19:47:22 GMT
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

In article <00962BAB.3EDBE9C0@BORN.PHYS.VIRGINIA.EDU>,
kara@BORN.phys.virginia.edu (Kara Jayne Keeter) writes:
>Hi everyone... sorry I haven't written in a long time.  I was
>travelling a lot for awhile, interviewing for jobs and stuff, and
>under a lot of pressure.  For about a week now I've been trying
>to get caught up in reading asar, I thought I should catch up 
>before I posted anything... but it's taking too long to catch
>up, and I need some sort of contact with y'all...

Quite understandable...  We've all done that on occasion!

>I sure hope no one's mad at me.

Nope!

>Good news: I have a coupla job offers.  So I'm not gonna starve to
>death.  So *why* do I feel so paralyzed, why am I still skirting
>depression???

Because depression sometimes is caused by a bio-chemical imbalance.  (Hmm,
sounds slightly impressive, and rather worthless... :( )  Read it this way: 
Depression is often like the flu or a cold, its cause can be PHYSICAL.  You
might as well have a virus attacking the system.  Hence the depression.

>I really don't know what to do.  It is very hard
>to write.  And I feel like I have no right to post, because I haven't
>been offering any support to anyone else.

WRONG!  People give support here when they can.  If people find they cannot due
to circumstance, such as being away from the Net, or unable to because the
words fail, or whatever other reason - THAT'S ALL RIGHT!  You can still get a
lot of support from us here, and we're here for ya!  The reason I started
reading ASAR wasn't to get support (but I have gotten TONS of it, THANK YOU
ALL!) but to help those who I could, in hopes of making this a slightly better
place.  And I know I'm not the only one out here who came to asar with that
kind of attitude!

===========
Krikket (a.k.a. Doug Krick)  ---  krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us
3 Danada Square East #246    ---          ^^^^^^^^
Wheaton, Il 60187  U.S.A.    ---  (The Net feed is working again!)

May the forces of Evil become confused on the way to your home!
From: anonymus+0@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (Karl Kleinpaste, ACS administrator)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: asar- no more???
Date: 12 Nov 92 21:58:40 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service


   From: anonymus+845@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
   Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 21:43:34 GMT

   This group is necessary for a lot of
   people--- Is there nothing we can do
   about this???

No, no, you misunderstand.  The group is not going away.  The
anonymous server, anonymus@godiva, is going away.  The group will
continue, of course.  But you'll have to use a different anonymous
server if you wish to continue to operate anonymously.

++karl
-- 
By facilities staff decree, this service will
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From: erc@Apple.COM (Ed Carp)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Need ehugs, please...
Date: 9 Nov 92 21:36:46 GMT
Organization: Bleeding Edge Technologies - 'Sliding Down The Razor Blade Of Life...'

Had a bad weekend ... in fact, it's been a bad *year*. :(  <sigh>

I hurt and I'm lonely.
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG                    erc@apple.com                   801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
From: anon-1259@twwells.com (Kate)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: what happened?
Date: 6 Nov 92 17:36:07 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

I sent a very painful and difficult message yesterday morning and it has
not appeared.  I'm quite upset about it.  Does anyone know if some messages 
got trashed by accident yesterday? (or was my note deleted?)

Kate



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anonymus+1401@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (darkangel)
Subject:  a thought
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 17:43:14 GMT



...(you) can get used to anything...



                                   ...elie wiesel
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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: faype@bcvms.bc.edu
Subject: Re: Repressed memories - Movie tonight
Organization: Boston College
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 11:16:02 GMT

In article <1992Nov9.234558.18794@reed.edu>, bob@reed.edu (Robert Ankeney) writes:
>      I just noticed that there is a movie tonight with Shelley Long on
> TV which apparently is based on a true story.  It is about a woman who
> recovers repressed memories of her father killing a friend and takes
> the info to the police.  Not sure if I'll be home to watch it though.

Geez, I wonder how my mother and father who are in FMS Foundation would 
explain this one... but then reality never got in their way anyway.
FMS says memories are never repressed - they are false.  Hmmm... must
have been a pure coincidence that she knew where the murder weapon was...

>      Also on PBS's Frontline, I understand they're going to talk about
> the minds of sexual molesters and serial killers.

I'd love to get copies of these shows if anyone taped it... I'll send 
a tape if someone will copy it for me???

-pete
(faype@bcvms.bc.edu)
From: anon-1353@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Winnie-ther-poohbear
Date: 6 Nov 92 03:31:29 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com



Hand in hand we come
  Christopher Robin and I
To lay this book on your lap
  Say you're surprised?
  Say you like it?
  Say it's just what you wanted?
    Because it's yours--
    Because we love you.



...until at last we come to the special cage, and the cage is
opened, and out trots something brown and furry, and with a 
happy cry of "Oh Bear!" Christopher Robin rushes into its arms.
Nowthis bear's name is Winnie, which shows what a good name for
bears it is,  but the funny thing is that we can't remember
whether Winnie is called after Pooh, or Pooh after Winnie.
We did know once, but we have forgotten....


...
..."But you said--"
"He's Winnie-ther-Pooh.  Don't you know what 'ther' means?"
"Ah yes, now I do" I said quickly; and I hope you do too,
because that is all the explanation you are going to get.


Isn't it funny
How a bear likes honey
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
I wonder why he does?

[as he climbed the tree]

It's a very funny thought that, if Bears were Bees
They'd build their nests at the _bottom_ of trees
And that being so (if the Bees were Bears),
We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs.

[as he floated under a baloon]

How sweet to be a Cloud 
  Floating in the Blue!
Every little cloud
  Always sings aloud

"How sweet to be a cloud
  Floating in the Blue!"
It makes him very proud
To be a little cloud


...
"You're the Best Bear in All the World," said Christopher
Robin soothingly.
"Am I?" siad Pooh hopefully.  And then he brightened up
suddenly
"Anyhow," he said, "it is nearly Luncheon Time."
So he went home for it.



I'm sitting here at work fighting to hold the tears back
so I must go.  Love you, pooh.

-Doug
dkl@frame.com



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: Erik Oliver <eoliver@acc.haverford.edu>
Subject: Re: Abused by SO
X-Xxmessage-Id: <A723D166D301B340@csserver.cs.haverford.edu>
X-Xxdate: Mon, 9 Nov 92 08:27:18 GMT
Organization: Haverford College
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d12
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 13:26:03 GMT

Nancy, Thanks! -Erik

Also, I although I still miss him rather acutely, I am realizing how
proud I should be of myself for getting out.  It means that for the first
time ever in my life, I have considered myself important enough not to
let myself be abused or hurt.

*SMILE*

-Erik
EOLIVER@ACC.HAVERFORD.EDU
anon-1312@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery