From: ren@Turing.ORG (Karen Prestemon)
Subject: Re: A Balanced Diet (Was Re: Halloween Stories)
Organization: The Turing Project, Charlottesville Virginia.
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 12:22:18 GMT

In article <1992Nov11.232208.2513269@locus.com> judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer) writes:
>In article <TIGGER.92Nov10123903@satyr.Sylvan.COM> tigger@satyr.Sylvan.COM (Grace Sylvan) writes:
>
>I have to post that while these may be good ideas for those who want to
>regulate their children's diets, these are definitely regulations.  And
>for those whose families have a history of eating disorders, these are exactly
>the wrong thing to do (according to the method we are discussing here).
>
>>It sounds like his eating habits have gotten out of sync with the
>>family. He's not very hungry at mealtimes because of snacking, and
>>he's gotten used to only eating a limited diet.
>>
I deleted a lot of stuff here, hope no one minds.

Although I do not have an extraordinary weight problem, I do have a real
problem with eating and food, and I have read a great deal about people
like myself who use food for purposes other than providing our bodies
with nutrients. Not to flame Tigger, but using this kind of method
might definitely cause problems later on in life.  Food could eventually
become a weapon in a power struggle.  Geneen Roth, who was just on Oprah,
has written some wonderful books about her obsession with food that
she says began because she found that it was one of the few things she 
could control in her life.  No matter what our parents make us eat,
there is going to come a time when we are going to have the opportunity
to pout whatever we want into our own bodies, and perhaps because of
what we perceive as oppresssion, we might make the "wrong" decisions.
I remember the first time I sat back at dinner and pushed away a
plate half full of food.  My parents had given me what they thought
were appropriate servings, and I reached the point where I knew I
was full and didn't want to continue.  They flipped, because
they felt they had a better idea of what I should be eating.

This kind of method teaches a person, child or otherwise,
that our bodies lie to us.  We cannot trust our bodies to tell us that they
are hungry, because given the choice, if we could go ahead and eat
what we wanted, when we wanted it, as Geneen Roth says, we would
start at one end of the kitchen and devour everything in it.  
Everyone should eat when they are hungry, not just because the
clock says it is time. Right now, I am about 5'5", and I weigh
160 lbs (yes, on the heavy side!) and my husband is 6'4" and weighs
maybe five lbs more.   He is tall and very thin, and really
underweight, and knows he should be eating maybe five meals a day
to keep up with his metabolism.  However, the idea of three meals
a day has been so deeply ingrained in him that he is really
struggling.  He seems to feel guilty that he needs more food
than the socially acceptable breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Frankly, I don't care what he eats or when he eats it, just as
long as he does eat.

In fact, we have been eating a lot of junk here in our first
six months of marriage.  I do mean A LOT!  We are just learning
how to feed ourselves, and it hasn't been easy, particularly
after being in college where everything was prepared for us
at specific times and we didn't worry about dishes or mess.
The decisions were made for us, and now we are learning to
make deciions for ourselves.  After months of McDonald's
and whatnot, our bodies are fed up!  We ate those things
wehn we thought we wanted to, and now we are ready to eat
good, nutricious food.  Not because of all the alarming news
about heart disease, but because we arelistening to what our
bodies are saying to us about what our bodies need.

I am not suggesting that everyone give up the family routine
of the evning meal, because it is a special time when all
spend time together.  But there isn't any necessity to saying
that a child is out of sunc with the family.  The child is
in sync with the child, and that is what should be encouraged.