From: sri@cbnewsj.cb.att.com (a.natarajan)
Subject: SERIOUS STUFF ON "VALUES" and "CULTURE"; EAST_WEST FUSION.
Organization: AT&T
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 01:18:34 GMT
Keywords: values, culture, eastern, western, family, goal ,blah

   Ramblings on "values" and "culture" and related confusions.

Brothers and Sisters of the SCI:

(I sense the commotion throughout the SCI community as  you  hear
being   addressed   thus,   reminiscent  of  Swami  Vivekananda's
memorable address to the  Parliament  of  Religions  in  Chicago,
currently  the  home  of  some  of  our VIPs i.e., Very Important
Posters to SCI - I shall pause till the applause subsides!!)

Four score and seven days ago (give or take a couple of  weeks!),
we  made a tryst with destiny as we set to discuss several topics
such as, "Arranged and other  types  of  Marriages",  "Prejudices
harbored  by  Men  (and  Women)",  "Dangerous Men of the East(ern
Nations)" (some what contradicting the biblical phrase "wise  men
of the east"), and several related babbles.

I valiantly jumped into the  SCI  net,  uninvited,  akin  to  the
example  I gave in my previous note, of the `jhopdi' woman at the
water fountain.  Since then, I experience an addiction to  insert
new  postings  in  the SCI on a daily basis.  My SCI-addiction is
being treated by a team of company doctors, and the prognosis  is
that  I  will  be fully cured of my addiction by Monday, July 27,
when my boss returns to work from his triumphant vacation,  after
sojourning  through  the Canadian wilderness.  (My boss called me
and said that Canadians appeared to enjoy a  better  health  care
system  in  their country and that SCI-addiction was treated free
there.  Clinton-Gore team promised me that  they  would  do  what
they  can for an universal health care delivery for all including
SCI-addicts! if I promised to conduct the "Kooshmaanda Homam" for
their victory in the Fall!)

I promise  you, dear netters that this  will  be  my  LAST  `last
article' on SCI.

(I shall pause here for another  moment  for  the  sound  of  the
applause to die!)

Permit me to talk on  the  topic  of:  Mix  up  in  "Values"  and
"Culture".   This topic is dear to me because I, as the father of
two children, perform my expected duty of ceaselessly nagging  my
kids  that they should "imbibe, retain, and pass on to posterity"
our "true" Indian values etc.

[To recognize my superior nagging abilities (I do it at all times
and  even at very short notice), my children are contemplating to
change my name from "Natarajan" to "Naggirajan"!]

Nevertheless, there are times when they willingly participate  in
a  dialogue  (their  complaint  though,  is that such `dialogues'
often tend to get metamorphosed to  `monologues'  soon  after  we
begin!).   Whenever  we had `true' dialogues, such dialogues have
enriched our thinking and clarified our positions.

I share here what I have learned.

Since many of us are not "erudite" (I confess I am not),  we  use
the  words  "value" and "culture" rather loosely, often using one
when we mean the other.  After a lot of  help  from  my  kids,  I
discern   the  need  for  employing  these  words  appropriately.
Everyone knows that "value" means something of value to  oneself;
something  that  yields  benefit to oneself.  For example, when I
eat food, which is  a  combination  of  proteins,  carbohydrates,
minerals, etc., i.e., nutrients that yield "value" to me so I may
live in good health, I say that I use an item of  "value",  viz.,
food.   Food  is  a  "value".   Similarly,  when  I listen to the
pleasing sound waves that emanate from the vibrating strings of a
violin  or  a  mandolin,  (pleasing  sound i.e., "ranjayathi ithi
raagaha"), I am benefiting from  another  "value",  viz.,  music.
Music  is  another  "value".   I  also know that a piece of cloth
protects me from the elements and so clothing is a "value" to me.
The nutrients in the food are of the same "value" irrespective of
where they came from, whether from Kumbakonam, Tamil Nadu or from
Cambridge, Mass.  The clothing that protects me from the elements
is of same "value" to me whether it was purchased at  Saks  Fifth
Avenue   in   New  York  or  at  Swaminathaiyer  Javulikkadai  in
Udumalaippettai.  However, we may have "packaged" these  "values"
differently  to  suit  the taste of the user.  The "value" called
the nutrients  in  food   (protein,  minerals,  etc.)   could  be
"packaged"  as a "masaalaa dosaa" or a "tandoori chicken" (Indian
culture)
OR
could be packaged as a "pizza" or a "barbequed  chicken"(American
culture).   We  call such packaging as "culture".  The strings in
the violin could be vibrated to  produce  music  ("value")  which
could    be    "packaged"    either    as    carnatic   classical
(Thyaagaraajaswaamigal's  "Raama  nee  samaanam  evaru")  or   as
western  classical  (say,  Beethoven's violin concerto in D), the
music ("value") of two different cultures.  Likewise a  piece  of
cloth  could  be  tailored  into  a frock (American culture) or a
salwaar kameez or a "madisaar  podavai"  (Indian  culture),  thus
packaging  a "value" into different "cultures".  My children tell
me that usage of the words "value" and "culture"  interchangeably
confuses them immensely.

I am oversimplifying here in order to establish  the  concept  of
"value"  and  to show that a "value" is always saught, whether it
be of Indian origin or  of  Scandinavian  origin.  A  "value"  by
definition  can not be a bad "value", for if it were, it wouldn't
be called a "value".  We establish "values" based on the  concept
of "Aathmowpamyam" (Aathma + Aupamyam) i.e., "placing yourself in
the other person's shoes".

When RaavaNa asks Seethaa to dump her husband (Sree Raama)

[dheenam, krpaNam, raajya-heenam raamam thyaja;
sarva lokaadhipathim maam (raavaNam) bhaja;
mayaa saha sarvaan bhogaan bhunkshva; mayaa saha  ramasva,  blah,
blah and more blah.],

she tells him:

"Aathmaanam upamaam krthwaa svaeshu dhaaraeshu ramyathaam"

"O! RaavaNa! How would you like if some one  snatched  your  wife
and  compelled her to accept him.  Respect other person's wife in
like fashion. Be satisfied with your own wives."

This is how we develop  the  basis  for  creating  what  we  call
"values".   When we establish that "speaking the truth" is a good
"value", we do so on the basis of "aathmowpamyam".
I know I wouldn't like others lying to me; so, I conclude that  I
should  not  inflict  pain  to others by lying to them.  Based on
this rationality, we all conclude that "speaking truth" is a good
"value."   This is true whether you are an American or an Indian.
(There is an element of over-simplification here; we don't do such
over-simplifications at AT&T; I would need pages more to elaborate
on this. I apologize for such  over-simplification.)   Therefore,
American  values  are  no different than Indian values.  Music is
liked universally by all.
 "pasurvaeththi, sisur vaeththi, vaeththi gaana rasam phaNihi"
 "kaattil  vilangariyum,  kaikkuzhandhai  thaan  aRiyum,  paattin
suvai  adhanai  paambaRiyum enRuRaippaar" - Bharathiyaar in  Kuil
Paattu)
Though all enjoy music, a  "value",  different  people  enjoy  it
through  different  packaging, "culture".  I enjoy music if it is
packaged by Semmangudi (how I love  his  1971  Mulund  kachchEri:
"amba  Kaamaakshi"  in  Bhairavi  with T.N. Krishnan excelling!),
whereas my "dharma pathni", "anbu manaivi" enjoys  music  through
ILaya Raaja:
"VaLaiyosai kala kala kala yenru kavithaigaL padikkidhu kuLu kuLU
thenRal  kaatRum  veesudhu...",  and  my "veera mahan" enjoys the
"value" of music through Depeche Mode, my "peNNarasi" through say
U2  or  New  Order,  and  my  marumaan,  His  Royal Highness Vish
Krishnan, the King of Vishful Thinking enjoys music  through  the
culture of MD Ramanathan.
[  Dae!  Krishna!  yennai  "flame"  paNNi,   maamaa   maanaththai
vaangathae!  nee  New  jersey  varaththae maamiyai "aviyal" paNNi
ppodachcholRen,  nee  yen  thanga  kkodam!!  parama   kshEmamaaha
iruppaI;   seegramEva   PhD   praapthirasthu;  seegramEva  "self-
arranged"     vivaaha     praapthirasthu;     mamaapi     "dinner
praapthirasthu!"]
So, each  absorbs  the  same  "value"  though  through  different
"culture."   The  reason  why  parents  like  to  "motivate"  (an
unpleasant synonym is "force") our kids who are growing up in USA
and others around us into "liking" what we "like" (in other words
"culturizing"them), is so that we might be able to bond  together
with  them  at  our level with good command.  This is because one
naturally  feels  more  comfortable  and   less   threatened   if
surrounded by others who package the values like ourselves.  This
way it facilitates easier bonding (easier for  the  parents)  and
better satisfaction to the "self".
[My son might also want to bond with me by "culturizing"  me;  he
did  attempt  by  starting me on "Modern Talking". I fell in love
with it; however, my "samsaaram" started getting  concerned  when
she observed one day that I was shaking my head rather vigorously
while driving to work.  At first she dismissed it  as  perhaps  a
neck problem and that perhaps I was exercising my neck to relieve
some neck sprain I might have had. When I told her the truth that
I  was  getting  "westernized",  she  chided  me at my "childish"
behavior and urged me to act my age.  Believe me, I now behave my
age (77); my friend Lou tells me I behave like a dirty old man!]
Therefore when one says: "Do not give up Indian values", what  is
perhaps  implied  is  " do not give up Indian culture, the Indian
way of packaging the value which is the  same  universally.   One
parent  teaches :"Om Namo Bhagavathae Vaasudevaaya" while another
teaches: "Ilaa ilaa la allallaah; allaah rasool  allah"  I  think
that both are going after the same value.

      When I visit India and I am told to guard my children  from
"bad American values", I think I know what is implied.  They want
me to make sure that  my  children  are  made  to  imbibe  Indian
culture,  and  NOT American culture. This is to ensure that there
is a continuation of bonding between people  who  are  culturally
Indian  and  my  children.  This is only partially good.  It is a
good idea for children to know how to speak an Indian  tongue  (a
cultural  packaging  of  the value called "language") so they can
bond with grand parents and other relatives.   But  what  is  NOT
right  is  discouraging  them  to accept other cultures.  This is
"avidya" that I have had and most others who newly get exposed to
a  different  "culture"  have. As can be seen on the SCI, the new
comers feel suffocated by the American culture,  some  almost  on
the  verge  of  xenophobia, though Americans are also going after
"values" i.e., items that benefit their "self" as much as Indians
or  any  other  species  are  going  after!   The  result of such
"avidya" is what we see in Ayodhya (an  irony  because  the  name
"Ayodhya" means a city without turmoil or no "yudhdham".

When politicians talk about  "family  value",  often  times  they
confuse   the   packaging  of  such  family  values  with  values
themselves.  It is the "self" that knows what is  good  for  one.
The  norms  are there as a help to guide the individual.  As long
as one does not violate the rights and values of others, one will
be  free  to  choose the "culture" of one's choice.  It is easily
said than done.

I am stopping here as I am hungry and I  need  to  go  home.   My
"aaththukkaari"  has  already  called  me four times, saying that
"muLLangi saambhaar" (the epitome of Tamil  culture)  is  getting
cold  and  that  I better come home soon and eat my food (truly a
value)!  Though I have been typing this note one key  at  a  time
for the past four hours, I have been lying (not a "value") to her
that I was in the middle of a  meeting!   A  small  lie  wouldn't
hurt.    After   all:   "aathmanasthu  kaamaaya  BHAARYAA  priyam
bhavathi" ithi yaagjnavalkya smrithihi; "A wife is dear  to  one,
only because she pleases one's "self".



         INDRAS  SOMAM  PIBATHU;  KSHEMO ASTHU NAHA ||


Rrespectfully submitted,
A. Natarajan at AT&T Bell Labs., Middletown, NJ.

(Natarajan the King of Thaandavam! -- kaalil muLLu kuththinaal!!)