From: glen@pandora.sdsu.edu (Glen)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Hunt them down and kill them (ALSO Advice on Long Distance Romance)
Date: 30 Sep 92 16:14:43 GMT
Organization: San Diego State University, College of Sciences
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

"Raistlin Majere" (p00139@psilink.com) wrote:
: >> I heard this many times:
: >>      If you love someone, let him/her go.
: >>      If s/he comes back, s/he is yours.
: >>      If s/he doesn't 
: >Hunt him/her down and kill him/her.
: >Hey let's face it, that's romance in the nineties.
: >Mike, and yes, I'm bitter.
: 	Hiya, Mike!!! Wow - you sure you don't know my ex? The
: 	"She-bitch of the Nether-Regions"? Hmmmm. Well, anyway,
: 	I spent a year in a relationship with a woman who was
: 	living in your very "self-same" city. 
: 	I agree - hunt 'em down and kill 'em.....or at least make
: 	'em remburse you all the airfare........>:-|
: ......and I'm *more* than bitter enough for the both of us....

I just wanted to throw my voice in with the crowd on this one.  I went,
after having met someone over THIS VERY NEWSGROUP, all the way across the
country to live with her on the west coast, changing MY plans to fit HER
wishes.  After a year of living with her that started out well (of course)
and went slowly downhill (because of schoolwork, I thought) she told me
that she wanted me to leave, and had not even been in love with me for the
last six months of that year!!  I was in so much shock, I didn't know
what to do.  I had thought (based on her comments throughout those months)
that we'd end up married, building a house together.  Sound familiar,
anyone?

Hunt them down and kill them?  I thought about it.  But I'm really just 
too tired.  I did the best I could, having been led into the situation by
promises of open communication, only to find out that the communication
died without my even realising it.

It's taken me a while to come back to the land of the living.  The whole
incident with this woman caused be to dump on my friends - in some cases
lose touch with them completely - and basically change my life for nothing
more than a false promise.  And, I've been watching this group, since it
was here that I met her, and seeing people asking for advice about LDRs.

: 	"And as to you, Catherine, I have a mind to speak a few words
: 	 now, while we are at it. I want you to be aware that I *know*
: 	 you have treated me infernally - infernally! Do you hear? And
: 	 if you flatter yourself that I don't perceive it, you are a
: 	 fool; and if you think I can be consoled by sweet words, you 
: 	 are an idiot; and if you fancy I'll suffer unrevenged, I'll
: 	 convince you of the contrary, in a very little while.

My advice to you all, who are contemplating and LDR, is this:  Remember that,
as a famous songwrite wrote,

		And maybe you were thinking
		  that you thought you knew me well,
		But no one ever knows the heart
		  of anyone else...

You shouldn't be worrying about arguments, discussions, things to talk
about.  You should worry about being mature enough to handle something
like this.  When you're in an LDR, or ANY relationship, you hold, whether
you realise it or not, that person's heart - HEART in your hand.  Visualize
that in front of you.  And any action you take, feelings that you have,
thoughts on your mind... they ALL will affect YOU... and YOU, in turn,
affect your Significant Other.

I know the excitement, the total joy, that comes from meeting someone, 
either locally or over distance.  Trust me:  It is NOT LOVE UNTIL IT HAS
HAD TIME TO GROW INTO IT.  I suggest a redefinition of Infatuation to
"Love which is less that X years old."  The "X" will vary from couple to
couple, but it can never be measured in hours.

If the person is that Significant, how about taking the time to realise what
you want from life, from yourself, from each other, and committing to work
towards it regardless of what happens, before you uproot one of you to go be
with the other.

At the time our relationship started, there were two others ongoing on this
group.  Those two failed quickly, both after one person completely relocated
for the other.  Ours just took a bit longer to die.  And the worst part was,
at the end, despite what she said, I still was willing to work on it.  All
she wanted was out.

Bitterness?   Try emptiness.   Try having it inflicted on you.

Try not to inflict it on anyone else.
Newsgroups: alt.romance