From: clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu)
Subject: Re: differences between boys and girls
Keywords: Boys Girls
Organization: Nynex Science and Technology
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 18:23:53 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.202632.4100@bcrka451.bnr.ca> seanna@bnr.ca (Seanna Watson) writes:
>What is to be gained by establishing differences between boys and girls?
>It appears that there is a difference between the *average* male and the
>*average* female.  But so what?  The individual differences *among* males,
>and *among* females are far greater than the differences between the 
>averages.  Why should we want to use average characteristics to limit
>our children?  Labelling "boy" characteristics and "girl" characteristics
>discourages children of the other gender from displaying these characteristics.
>We need some people who are gentle and sensitive.  We need some people who
>are bold and aggressive.  Some people like to dress up, and some people
>like to get dirty.  Let's raise our children to be *people*, and to use
>whatever innate characteristics they have to the best of their abilities.
>

  That's what I feel too.  Which brings me to another question.
  Why are people (most people I know) so obsessed about having
  at least one boy and one girl?  I've asked people what's wrong
  with two boys or two girls or three boys or three girls and
  people (including my husband) think "Oh no, you've got to
  have at least one of each."  One person said, "to complete
  a set", as if it were china table settings.  Is it because
  people expect boys to be different from girls and want the
  ultimate parenting experience?  I think the differences between
  two children period (whatever the sex) would satisfy the
  parenting experience urge, if there is one.  Probably because
  people want to stereotype so they want to have one kid that
  they dress up and another to play rough with.  Personally
  I don't buy that as a reason to have one of each sex.

  There are people who keep trying (have 7 boys in a row)
  just to complete their set.  I wonder how the intervening
  children feel knowing that they were just "steps" the
  parents took to get that last child of the opposite sex.
  I know one of my friends feels pretty inferior about it,
  saying she wouldn't have been born if her parents got their
  boy before she was born.

  Since I have a boy already, I don't want to feel pressure
  that I have to keep having babies until I have a girl.
  Does anyone out there agree with me???  I almost don't
  want to have a girl because my mother-in-law is so anxious
  to dress up any daughter of mine in frilly pink dresses
  (yuk) and turn her into a priss-pie.  I bet she'd want
  to get her ears pierced too.  But I know that if
  I don't, I might end up with a lot of kids.  Help!!!

  {p.s.  Don't take the Help!!! seriously.  I know how
  "helpful" this group is, and the last few times I've posted
  for "advice" I got reams of "helpful" mail ranging from 
  accusing my m-i-l of child abuse (for over-feeding my son) to
  people calling my husband an unconcerned father.  I really
  won't end up with a ton of kids, since I'm sure my husband
  will take what he gets.  It's just the attitude of a lot
  of people who insist on "a pair" or "one of each" that
  bothers me.}

  I just want to know what others think about this topic.
  Thanks!
Newsgroups: misc.kids