From: fsars@acad3.alaska.edu (Allen R Sparks)
Newsgroups: misc.legal
Subject: Re: Details, details (*LONG*)
Date: 13 Sep 92 06:16:26 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Alaska Fairbanks

> 
> Top Ten Misinformations Given Out by John Public's Video to Their Employees
> 
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> 10. If your store doesn't have a safe, it will by the end of the week.
> 
>  9. If your store doesn't have computers, we'll have them installed REAL
>     soon.
> 
>  8. We support our employees continuing their education.
> 
>  7. We are always honest with our employees.
> 
>  6. We understand if you are sick & are not able to work your shift.
> 
>  5. We trust our employees.
> 
>  4. We do not hire on the basis of age, sex, color, or personal
>     experience.
> 
>  3. Joe Public's Video is not making any money.
> 
>  2. No problem.  We can work around your schedule.
> 
>  1. It's not the money, but your personal safety that we are worried
>     about.
> 
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
>      I hope you enjoyed this list.  When I wrote it, I was on the floor
> laughing so hard, I thought I was going to bust my gut!  Please make sure
> everyone at your store sees this.  After that, put it in amidst all that stuff
> that goes to the office.  Of course, I doubt if anyone will be  laughing.  It
> seems no one has a sense of humor in here.
>      If any of you have comments, kudos, or ideas for another top ten list,
> leave an ad in the  personals section of either the CJ&T or LEO (if your store
> doesn't carry LEO, try looking in a decent restaurant or any street corner in
> the Hurstbourne area.)  This way, I can get your ideas or messages without
> risking your (or my) neck.  Just make them attention to me.  OH!  I almost
> forgot to tell you my name.
> 
>                              Wile E. Coyote
>                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
>      I wish I could tell you my real name.  I really do.  But I know this
> piece of literature may make certain people angry, and I can't have them come
> knocking on my door.
>      Anyway, I will take leave of you now.  Just remember to leave me a
> personal ad, and if the response is big enough I'll put out another one of
> these little ditties.  I may put out another anyway.  One never knows.
> 
>                                           Adieu,
>                                           Wile E. Coyote
> 
> [------------end-of-inserted-text--------------end-of-inserted-text-----------]
> 
> I changed some names to protect the innocent and the identity of the real
> company. :-)  At any rate this did turn some heads and everyone seemed to
> delight in the humor of it all.
> 
> A the next month I did another one.  It was just as funny.  Actually funnier.
> It is still talked about to this day.  I did a third one and a fourth before
> upper management found out it was me.  When they did, I was immediately
> canned (expected) and they were screaming something about federal charges for
> invading privacy, and some other state statutes being broken (unexpected). 
> I can see the reasoning behind some of them, but invasion of privacy?!?  If I
> had snooped to get my info yes.  But everything I knew about management came
> from them directly or through the company "grapevine."  Yes, I knew they were
> nothing but vicious rumors, but in a small company like this 90% of them have
> a certain amount of truth to them.
> 
> I think this this letter is what scared them:
> 
> [------inserted-text-----------------------inserted-text---------------------]
> 
> Howdy Folks!!
> 
>      I saw this sign while I was on vacation and thought I might just share it
> with everyone!  I think it fits Joe Public's Video to a "t."
>      I hope everyone is enjoying the fair.  Again I was out and about.  Again
> I won *another* prize from them.  I am just too good.   I'll just add it to
> the rest of my junk in the Coyote cave.
>      The managers meeting today should be quite interesting.  With me popping
> up and all the other gripes, I hope it's very interesting.  Personally I would
> ask for my *bonus*.  Knowing Sammy, he'll try to weasel out of it somehow.
> Actually it's not Sammy we need to worry about.  Our splendiferous accountant
> Jimbo Dude, seems to be running the show lately.  About the only idea of
> his I agree with, is on Zone Managers.  We have no use for them.  First thing
> we do.  Let's kill all the Zones!  (If I may paraphrase the Great Master
> Shakespeare.)
>      I have a wonderful thought.  Some stores got a memo saying they could not
> give out their totals or number of invoices to anyone except their Zone,
> Sammy, or Suzanne.  Well, there is a way around this.
>      If one wants to know how many invoices they've done, simply ask how many
> Kid's bags were given out.  Just insert your total number of invoices for the
> answer.  If one wants to know how much money a store has done, just ask how
> much money Sammy had with him when he got pulled over for DUI.  Insert your
> stores total for the answer.  I know it will not compare to the $50,000 he
> had, but it will keep you from getting in trouble.
>      Look.  I've done it again.  Let loose *another* secret.  Sorry.  You know
> how I am about them.  This should be enough for me.  Remember to hang your
> sign in the store.  Hang it with pride.
> 
> Wile E. Coyote
> 
> [--------end-of-inserted-text--------------end-of-inserted-text-------------]
> 
> Again names changed ... etc ... This letter also included a very humorous
> office sign I saw hanging in a competitors office.  I can understand why they
> freaked on this one, but with three prior humorous, raillery, letters,
> how was anyone supposed to take this seriously?
> 
> At any rate those the details.  I can understand civil suits.  After all I
> did mention names.  But I think criminal charges are a little out of hand.  I
> have not signed anything.  I've only given them a list of names who I got
> information from, and who helped me deliver to the 21 stores.  I have been
> the only one to loose my job as of yet (totally understood on this, I'm not
> questioning this action), but I know a lot of people are sweating on it. 
> Come to think of it I haven't ever received any notice of my termination. 
> It's been about a week and a half too.  Maybe I'm no fired! :-)
> 
> So basically what am I facing here?  To me it was nothing but a childish
> prank.  I feel the worse has been done.  I'm unemployed in this freakin'
> economy.  :-)  Apparently they don't feel that is enough.
> 
> So much for the details.  I hope someone can offer some advice.  Or should I
> just go to the Federal Correctional Institute and hand myself in? :-)
> 
> Thanks in advance!
> 
> --______________________________
>  / uunet!coplex.com!luser!mikeg \  "And I'm up while the dawn is breaking,
> /        mikeg@luser.UUCP        \  even though my heart is aching.
> \          GEnie: LUSER          /  I should be drinking a toast to absent
>  \      Louisville, KY USA      /   friends instead of these comedians."
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~