HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: 01ksdavis@bsu-ucs.uucp (Rebel without a clue.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: When guys lose their tempers
Date: 13 Oct 92 23:53:48 GMT

In article <1992Oct13.175604.17644@sr.com>, dks@sr.com (Dave K. Sprow) writes:
> In article <9gzzm7n@rpi.edu> petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>>In article <1992Oct12.170234.10455@bsu-ucs.uucp>, 01ksdavis@bsu-ucs.uucp (Rebel without a clue.) writes:
>>
>>|> 	Curious, though.  Nobody ever talks about the other way around.  Guess
>>|> a guy's welfare doesn't amount to a hill of beans in today's world.
>>
>>  This is more related to the old stereotype, dude.  Women were supposed to be
>>the senesitive ones whereas men were supposed to be the 'strong, silent type'
>>and therefore, ideally, not to have emotions.  It's changing only now, but it's
>>a very slow process.
>>
>>-- 
>>Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and terrible
>>scarcity.
>>MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for MADD)
>>
>>Interesting this getting mentioned now.  My roommate had arrangements to
> go watch Mon Nite Football last night with a couple friend.  When he went
> over the guy had a black eye. bruises on both arms etc from damage his
> 'girlfriend' had inflicted the night before.  Now, my roommate and I live
> in entirely different worlds.  I mentioned to him that if any woman acted
> physically under any circumstances, I would be out of there in a second.
> Why would a guy or a girl hang around under this kind of circumstance?!?
> 
> David S.
> 
> 
>>
>>
-- 
	Since the girl's side is well covered (if you really want to be
depressed, you can look up all sorts of nice statistics and information at your
local library, and then realize that this data is only from REPORTED incidents.)

	I guess it probably would go back to the "nice guys are chumps" theory.
These guys stay in these relationships because they realize something is wrong
with this woman, and they want to fix it just by being there.  Being there
just isn't enough.

	I won't delve any deeper into this, because people have both mentioned
the physical and emotional side of this reverse thing.  I havee had previous
experience with both, but I would rather not talk about it.

 ______________________________________________________________________________
|Kyle S. Davis				                                       |
|2000HD	1MbRAM//                                Hot VWs               1973     |
|1084s       //  Only Amiga makes it possible,    \/   Take 2 home-   311      |
|Oki 20   \\//   All others make it plausible.   \/\/  They're small.          |
|
|______________________________________________________________________________|
From: ekman@netcom.com (Crossly the Glad-Eyed Bear)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: A Romantic Tale
Date: 12 Oct 92 20:27:11 GMT
Organization: Home for the Terminally Infirm

In article <2927903765.0.p00139@psilink.com> p00139@psilink.com (Raistlin Majere) writes:
>
>	Turns out that the note, phone, and $50.00 were left by a couple
>that had decided to commit(sp) suicide together. They were elderly, and
>aging, and desease was starting to affect both of them, so they decided
>to end it together. They both sat on opposite sides of the room and left
>all their papers and documents, and then they each shot each other (through
>the heart, as I recall). 

They sat on opposite sides of the room and then shot each other through
the heart?  Remarkable marksmanship and timing, especially for an
elderly couple.

Maybe this should have been posted to alt.folklore.urban.
-- 
Crossly the Glad-Eyed Bear              ekman@netcom.com
Home for the Terminally Infirm, Redwood City, California
From: ph2a+@andrew.cmu.edu (Paul S. Hrynko)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Romance
Date: 8 Oct 92 16:59:42 GMT
Organization: Freshman, CIT general, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA


There are rocky roads on every romance.  The timeless "If you love
someone, set them free example" is practical but not applicable if you
feel so tied to her that you can't possibly let her go.  Life is emotion
and if you can't separate your feelings FOR her FROM your consciousness,
you might as well forget "Giving her space."

On the other hand, she is at a different university and that can be
extremely difficult.  But then again, you see her every other weekend,
so it shouldn't be that hard to keep your relationship going.  It would
be a lot more difficult if you were farther away.  You still spend time
with her. You still influence her.  If she is that set on marrying you,
then you have nothing to worry about.  The mind tends to live in
memories of the past, so her regression to a time which she spent with
this guy is understandable.  Her mind may be clouded for awhile, but it
will eventually unfog and she will return to the present.  The question
is how long.

You should discuss this with her in depth.  Tell her EXACTLY why you
feel threatened.  If she says you have nothing to worry about, put the
jealous feelings aside and DON'T.  I DO realize that it's easier said
then done, but it will be worth it.  Unwarranted jealousy has killed
many a relationship. Best of Luck and if you want to chat, I'm here.
 



   ---------                     __
             \                  |  |  Paul Hrynko  (Ph2a@andrew.cmu.edu)
        /    /                  | /   Box 4838
   ---------    __              |/    5115 Margaret Morrison
     /        /   \   /|   |    /\    Pittsburgh, Pa  15213-3831
   /          \___/ \/  \__/\__/   \  Carnegie Mellon University 412-268-4303

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
B efore your eyes observe the union of the sky with the water,
E bbing and augmenting tides which know no bounds.
A ll observe the eternal crashing of moody waves on the sand,
C alling you to become part of a worldly being greater than yourself, 
H aving the ability to attain true love, peace, and contentment.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: waid@leland.Stanford.EDU (Walid F Nasrallah)
Subject: Re: "What are you thinking, dear?"?
Summary: Think Interesting Thoughts!
Organization: DSO, Stanford University
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 92 19:14:28 GMT

Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
-------------------------------------------

In article <1b8khmINNkbo@agate.berkeley.edu> bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:
>.... I've been semi-compiling some interesting/witty/"good"
>answers....
>
>1)	I'm thinking of you, dear.
>2)	I'm thinking of how much I just spent, dear.
>3)	I'm thinking of how much fun we're having.
>4)	To stay alive.  (Follows the theory, I think therefore I am,
.....
>Disclaimer 1:   I'm actually a really nice person. (sorta) :) ;)

Sorry to be so maladroit, but isn't the actual topic that one is thinking
about more likely to be interesting that a pre-compiled answer?  The one 
female friend who comes to mind as asking me what I am thinking (most often) 
usually wanted to reinforce her belief that being with me was a better use
for her time than reading a good book.  I guess that getting the question
at a time when you ARE having worthwhile thoughts can be used as an indication
that the person asking it is someone worth spending YOUR time with.

But if you are always thinking about how much money you spent, or your friends
only ask you at times when you are silent for physiological reasons (eg
heartburn, constipation, diarrhea ...), then the sarcastic answer might
be more interesting than the truth, as long as it is not entirely
pre-compiled ;).
-- 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
	O-OO		|
	\/\/alid	a.k.a. waid the waylaid waif [Non Gender Specific]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: cskksc@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Chung S Khan)
Subject: Re: Query
Organization: Monash General Access UNIX System
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 04:02:58 GMT

In article <1992Oct9.091556.1@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au> s342063@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au writes:
>In reply to s344021@emu.insted.edu.au :
>
>I believe that an SO is a "significant other"
>
>Would someone clarify this please ?
>
>Hope that helps :)

To me SO means Significant One

Chung(CSK)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: isc30350@nusunix1.nus.sg (LOW SUET CHENG)
Subject: When guys lose their tempers
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 07:37:46 GMT


I would like to get some views on this topic from the dear people here
in net.land.

I have know of guys who when they lose their tempers, hit their
girlfriends. After that they are remorseful about it, but they tell
their girlfriends that it's because they (the girlfriend) make them so
angry that they can't control themselves. Is this really true or is it
just an excuse?

Then there are those also who when things go wrong, they'll blame them
on the girlfriends and say that the girlfriends have distracted them
from doing their best. Is this valid?

Has anyone here ever encounter this kind of situation personally or seen
friends who are in this kind of situation? Comments would be very much
welcomed.


Esther
From: isar@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Army Boots revisited, then I shut up
Date: 14 Oct 92 19:59:43 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1992Oct13.192159.10497@uoft02.utoledo.edu>, jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner) writes:
> isar@ac.dal.ca writes:
>>
>> [munch]
>> 
>> Of course we advocate equality;  to achieve that equality in the 
>> severely biased society we have today, however, we also advocate 
>> affirmative  action, quota systems etc.  
>> 
>> [munchmunch]
>> 
>> This is why we think that if two candidates for the same 
>> job/position/school are equally qualified, then the 
>> woman/minority/disabled person, should definitely be the chosen 
>> one.  Unfair?  Not if you consider the overall picture...
> 
> which is? "WAKE UP YOU MALE FASCIST PIGS! IT'S PAYBACK TIME!"
> 
  (vomit)


> no thanks. i don't owe you anything. unless i can punish you
> for the sins of your ancestors don't expect me to take too
> kindly to being another white male whipping boy for the radical
> feminist movement.
> 
  oh puhlease...I'd expect this type of argument from a 12 year old.
This type of " I'm in the world to satisfy myself and I don't give
a damn about anyone else" is highly symptomatic of a VERY puerile,
egocentric modus vivendi.  I hope you grow to appreciate the true complexity 
of our social climate and refrain from expectorating mindless drivel like
the gem above.

> men and women should not be at war, for any reason. any suggestions
> to the contrary will be met with a sad look and, if pressed,
> the most disdain i can muster. some of us -do- care about equality,
> and we don't feel we have to go overboard on one side to balance
> out the past mistakes of the other.
> 
> jason
> 

  And who in Hades advocated war between men and women????  Certainly not I,
which leads me to deduce we must be in alternate universes.  When you do
make it into this dimension, perhaps you can control your disdain long enough
to learn how to read.  If you do care about equality, help us all achieve it;
paying it lip service may alleviate some dissonance in your apathetic psyche,
but it will help no one.  Of course anyone who DARES attribute the current
power imbalance to PAST mistakes is probably too far into an accretion disk.
May the cosmic dust enlighten you and do tell what's up on the other side of
the white hole.



 Peace

Isa R.
From: sprague@unssun.nevada.edu (Joan A. Sprague)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Well, what do I do?
Summary: Need advice.
Keywords: HELP!!!!
Date: 13 Oct 92 01:43:51 GMT
Reply-To: sprague@unssun.UUCP (Joan A. Sprague)
Organization: University of Nevada-Reno



  Wel this is not my account, it is a relatives, my name is Jason Saner=]
   Here is my problem I have really fallen for this woman and she likes me also
    but well, she has a boy firend, and everytime we start to have fun and such
     she denies herself that fun, which imho is very unfair for her, I don't
      know what to do, any advice?
                       J.S


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: moore7004@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: First Date ?
Date: 12 Oct 92 06:08:55 -0500
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

In article <1992Oct8.103804.10252@bsu-ucs.uucp>, 00llhamilton@bsu-ucs.uucp writes:
> 	1.  Taking a walk along the river just around the time that the
> 	sun is going down.

        Although, if it's getting dark, be careful not to, you know, knock
        her in or anything.  I've found this really ruins a good walk.

> 	2.  Instead of cooking at your place have a picnic at a park.

        Many pizza places, in fact, will now deliver straight to a park.  Also,
        if you can't find a good park, a good parking lot will often suffice.

> 	3.  If you are athletic, invite her to play a  sport with you and
> 	teach her how to play.  For example, a good  sport that women are
> 	interested in is racquetball.

        Seriously, is the entire category of "women" interested in raquetball?
        Wouldn't these suggestions be more productive if they didn't assume
        some sort of generic form response?

> 	4.  If those things don't interest you then try to be more  creative
> 	in the things that you plan to do.  If you are cooking dinner at
> 	your place then make it "candlelight".  If you are going to a movie
> 	choose a comedy to make things flow easier and afterwards do something
> 	like go play "putt-putt" or go bowling. 

        Candlelight.  Comedy.  Putt-putt.  Bowling.  These are a few of my
        favorite things.

> These are just a "few" of the things that men can do to make a woman
> interested.   This isn't for only college men but for you older men too. 
> You're never too old for a good time!

In fact, I hear the older you get, the more a good spot of putt-putt will
really make your blood boil.  So be careful, you older men, nothing like
bursting a blood vessel out on the green.

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Subject: Re: How long has it been?
Reply-To: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 15:30:52 GMT



>mneeley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Neeley) writes:
>
>>How long has it been since you were kissed by a member of
>>the opposite sex?
>>
>>	Mark (almost a year)
>
>
hmm... well, it's been roughly 59 days, 16 hours and a few 
odd (very odd!) minutes since my sweetie headed back to 
Sheffield, England..... (5500 miles away)

and

81 days, 21 hours and 35 minutes till I land in Heathrow
and be able to kiss him again.  *sigh*

counting down the minutes,


Dawn

-- 
  Cuz tonight is the night
  we'll be feeling alright
  we'll be making love the whole night through...
           ..cuz i'm saving all my love for you.......
From: bandy@ccs.northeastern.edu (Bandy Chin)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: First/Second Date
Date: 16 Oct 92 03:26:39 GMT
Organization: College of CS, Northeastern U


Well.....This is just a general question that I would like to throw out
to all of you.  I sort of like this girl that I work with.  She's a couple
of years older than me...that's not the problem.  She's the type of person
that can put a smile on my face when I'm feeling down.  I've only known her
for a few months, and during that time we've had the opportunity to talk
at work and a few times on the phone.  We sort of went out on a date a few
weeks ago.  Things went o'kay.  We went out to dinner and later saw a movie.
No problems there....

My question/problem is that I would like to ask her out again, but I don't
really know how she thought about our first date.  Come to think of it I
don't know if you can even call it a date date.  We went out...I'm not sure if
she thought it was a friends sort of outting....What I need is advice.
Advice on how to understand how ladies feel, their body language, thoughts
that go through their minds.....I would like both the mail (male) and 
femail (female) perspective.....

Please feel free to e-mail me.....It'll be easier fore....

Send comments/answers or whatever to:

	bandy@damon.ccs.northeastern.edu
	bandy@dworking.ccs.northeastern.edu
From: mlb@CISCO.COM (Marcia Bednarcyk)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: What do you want from us?
Date: 9 Oct 92 00:31:05 GMT

In article <1992Oct2.193734.1004@eskimo.celestial.com>, witters@eskimo.celestial.com (John Witters) writes:
|> Yeah, I heard a female comedian tell how she breaks up with guys she doesn't
|> like.  The routine goes something like this:
|> 
|> 	Bob, I love you.
|> 	I wanna get married.
|> 	I wanna have your children.
|> 
|> She claims most guys leave skid marks because they run away so fast.

The comedienne is Rita Rudner, and the first time I heard this I was crying
I was laughing so hard.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                        ADDRESS: mlb@cisco.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."
"... the meaning of life is to be happy, try not to hurt people, and hope
you fall in love."
Hey, did this get out to alt.romance?
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: Perrin@max.Acadiau.ca (Louise Perrin)
Subject: Re: B-day present for boyfriend?
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: RRCNS
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 18:20:38 GMT

In article <Oct12.205022.70816@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU>,
cv235890@longs.lance.colostate.edu (Carol Vollmer) wrote:
> 
> 
>    Hello,
> 
> I would like some suggestions on what to get my boyfriend for his birthday.
> We have only been going out for about two months, but I would like to get
> him something special.  He is going to be 22 on the 22 of October.  

With these numbers you have to have either 22 little gifts or something
that has 22 in it.  This is a theme birthday if I ever saw one!!!

Maybe you could give him 22 gift certificates for little things that are
significant to both of you. Sounds like fun.

Good Luck! 

Quilts are a way to give warm hugs to those you love when you can't be
there.
From: ag1v+@andrew.cmu.edu (Andrea B. Gansley-Ortiz)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Untitled gem
Date: 15 Oct 92 14:31:05 GMT
Organization: Engineering Design Research Center, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

Stephen Dennison writes:
> Well, to your special friend ... there *is* a tomorrow... someone will come
> along to undo the damage and help you to forget. Hang tough and use the 
> pain to create inspiration for yourself and others. It's the only way to 
> justify the suffering.

This is going to sound a little pessimistic, but it's not.

No one is going to undo the damage or help you forget. However, time and
maybe a new special someone will help you heal and not be bitter. The
experience may make you stronger and wiser when next you enter into a 
relationship.

I don't know. Maybe some people do forget. But I find that hard to
imagine. 

ag
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: huesmann@wam.umd.edu (Joseph Edward Huesmann)
Subject: Re: Rings  
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 10:46:18 GMT

In article <10292287.10430.3835@kcbbs.gen.nz> Ben_Keng@kcbbs.gen.nz (Ben Keng) writes:
> What particular meanings are associated by the wearing of rings on  
>different fingers on either hand? Do you think there are differences  
>based on culture? Do any of you ladies wear them as a 'deterrent', sign  
>of commitment or just as a fashion statement?  
>  
> In particular, the meaning of a ring on the 4th finger on the right  
>hand..  
>   

I believe the latter is due to an old Roman belief that there was a "vein
of love" running directly from that finger to the heart... Of course, I
could be wrong.

Joe

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|  huesmann@wam.umd.edu     "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all   |
|  Joseph E. Huesmann        the world, she walks into mine!"                |
|                                              -- Rick Blaine, "Casablanca"  |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: sean.casey@EMCB.CC.UTAH.EDU (SEAN THOMAS CASEY)
Subject: Re: Congruence Nice guys = chumps
Organization: University of Utah
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 20:45:27 GMT

In article <1992Oct2.143118.9726@StarConn.com> bruce@StarConn.com (Bruce Michael Roberts) writes:

>I've been reading some of the postings about the proverbial nice guy and
>the old LJBF.

>So I'm just wondering whether if you decide to be a "nice guy" and be
>the shoulder to cry on, you are a chump.  And does the woman who you are
>really interested in "set you up" to be one or does it just happen?

	It's kind of both, as far as who's responsible.  Most of the times I'
ve seen this happen have been when the guy has been holding back on telling 
her / letting her know that he's interested in her.  She doesn't see any 
signals, or notices that he's repressing/suppressing them and assumes that 
he's not going to go after her.  Of course, if she doesn't want a lover 
right then, then that's great for her and she's quite likely to want to be 
around you and all.  However, this is kind of bad for the guy who's being 
nice and cool so as not to scare her off, only to have her decide that he's 
JUST A FRIEND.  Not fun.

	As for whether if you decide to be a "nice guy" and be the shoulder 
to cry on, you are a chump . . . I don't think so.  If all you're doing that 
for is so you can "get" her, then it seems that you're being pretty 
manipulative.  Taking adavantage of someone when they're hurting and their 
defenses aren't working fully is something that I've both done, and had done 
to me, and regretted every time.  However, I've also had relationships start 
where I was being the shoulder to cry on 'cause I cared about her, and we 
ended up together.  Met a woman I damn near married like that.  
	Are you a chump?  Depends on your definition of chump.  Don't count 
on it getting you laid.  At least, count on it geting you a friend.  And don'
t knock that; it MIGHT lead to more.

		Sepiriz of the Nihrain