From: mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh)
Subject: "Name My Band" WINNER! (was Re: Help me name my band)
Organization: Cornell Theory Center
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 01:04:20 GMT

At long last, after weeks of keeping the clamoring masses at bay, I will now
reveal the long-awaited WINNER of my "Help Me Name My Band" contest. I've had
literally hundereds of responses and followups, some good, some bad, and I
am very pleased to announce the winner and the name of my new band.

Let me say first of all, that in my mind, ALL of you are WINNERS! I appreciate
each and every response, and because you're all winners I'm going to send 
each and every participant an autographed uuencoded GIF of Jimi Hendrix in 
the nude. Of course, the winner gets something a little extra... more about
that later. 

Here are the runners-up in the "Help Me Name My Band" contest. These entries
brought forth a hearty chuckle, and I salute you. If I ever need another
band name I'll know who to ask! Please note that some of these e-mail addresses
might be wrong, they were written down on my legal pad by my pet eel Lucky 
and his shorthand isn't very good.

  Stunt Haggis                              kilroy@acme.gen.nz

  Electric Bread                            kruegena@cda.mrs.umn.edu
  
  Yes, We Tuned the Instruments             boesch@cs.washington.edu

  Dandruff                                  pashley@crush.cts.com

  Gur Grrafl Gnqcbyrf bs Pbaprea            kilroy@acme.gen.nz

  Paintgun                                  kibo@world.std.com

  The Gorilla Shaped Cookie Trust           gooley@netcom.com

  Miasma                                    dtaylor@anne.wellesley.edu

  NEGATIVE CAT SCAN BRAIN DEATH!!!!         corley@helium.gas.uug.arizona.edu

  Floop Was All the Little Fish Could Say   is_d511@kingston.ac.uk

  Bunched Monkey                            jgregori@ics.com


Now, I know there's a lot that I left off here, one of my notepads suddenly
burst into flame yesterday while writing a poem and the postings and mail
are lost forever in the annals of the net. And again, if I made any typos
in the above, please let me know so I can mail you your copy of the nude
Hendrix GIF.

(Drumroll please...)
Ladies and Gentlemen, the definitive winner of the "Help Me Name My Band" 
Contest goes to....




	     "We Hate Judd Hirsch"

       submitted by sherman@math.ucla.edu


Good work, chap! As the grand prize winner, you are entitled to:
	An exciting week in Rome, working as a butcher's apprentice;
	Make pepperoni the old fashioned way!

	Half a carton of menthol cigarrettes, your choice of generic brand;

	A $10 gift certificate at the Ward Street Amoco in Charleston, 
	South Carolina;

	That nude Hendrix GIF, just to make it fair;

	And, your own copy of We Hate Judd Hirch's first full-length LP,
	"Eat the Salad, You Know What's Good For You", available on DAT,
	CD, cassette, or vinyl sometime in January, 1998!

Once again, thanks to all who played, but the contest doesn't have to be over.
I'm still open to many more suggestions for names (even though I feel, deeply,
that We Hate Judd Hirsch is the be-all-end-all of band names, and we'll
never have to change it). I'll still award prizes if you send me a real
knee-slapper. And apologies for all the band names I lost, you'll just have
to send them again (and convince me that they should have been on the above
list).

Bye for now,
mdw

-- 
Matt Welsh    mdw@tc.cornell.edu        +1 607 253 2737
Systems Programmer, Cornell Theory Center
  "She's like jelly roll, like sculpture!"
Xref: sparky alt.non.sequitur:679 alt.music.category-freak:51 alt.religion.kibology:4606 rec.music.misc:27202 alt.fan.matt.welsh:100 talk.bizarre:37457 alt.geek:97 alt.licker.store:38