HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: pv@gagme.chi.il.us (Paul Vader)
Subject: Re: Miracles of modern medicine
Originator: pv@gagme
Organization: Inline Software Creations
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 00:02:37 GMT

Rigler writes:
>can buy Tylenol with Codeine over the counter.  In fact, I purchased a bottle
>a few days ago in preparation for my next ski trip:
>
>       Rigler's Black Diamond Express
>
>        codeine           60 mg
>        caffeine          60 mg
>        acetaminophen   1000 mg
>        Glenfiddich        3 shots
>
>To do it right, you should have your skis freshly waxed and wear a kilt with
>nothing underneath (so you can feel the wind whistling through your nethers).
Required equipment is a spatula to peel you off the ceiling with. PV

P.S. Welcome back!

P.P.S. Though I will admit that being anestisized this way might be the
       only way I could stand skiing...
-- 
Paul Vader            systems analyst, hell's cavenewt, rollerblader,
pv@gagme.chi.il.us    FOAF, smartass liberal democrat
From: mrx@sgi.com (cloaking the constant k)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Delight
Date: 6 Jan 93 18:48:22 GMT
Organization: the theory that jack built

jcarroll@ferris.cray.com writes:

>aaron@atlantis.uucp writes:

>>Sometime I'd like to become delirious with fever, and then have someone record
>>all the stuff I say while I'm delirious, so I can listen to it later.
...
>>Also, I understand that high fever isn't a pleasant experience, and can be
>>fatal in some cases.  But I'm sure these minor difficulties can be surmounted.

absolutely.  the brain can survive at
much higher temperatures once removed
from the skull.  we have a steaming
vat of nutrient broth reserved just 
for you.

>Fortunately, there are other ways to induce seizure. Get a nice, heavy iron
>skillet, and start hitting yourself in the forehead until you knock yourself
>out. Repeat until epileptic.

how coarse.  how unsubtle.

325 mA applied across the temples.

try it sometime.

>Or maybe you'd like to volunteer to beta test the X Industries VMEbus sodium
>pump.

ssssst!  you signed a disclosure
agreement, did you not, mr. carroll?
you did read the fine print, yes?

i'll be expecting that 5 cc's of
cortical sample by friday.  and let's
make sure that it doesn't "accidentally"
contain memories of last year's blowout 
in vegas, shall we?

		mr x
		
		piece of your mind
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: robart@agora.rain.com (Joe Bob)
Subject: Re: Inappropriate Postings Explained
Organization: a gora
Distribution: world 
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 09:33:13 GMT

In article <1993Jan9.192931.20992@dsg.cs.tcd.ie> cjmchale@dsg.cs.tcd.ie (Ciaran McHale) writes:
>In <2935629969.1.p00258@psilink.com>
>p00258@psilink.com (A.J. Janschewitz) writes:
>>Some detective work has turned up the fact that all the cross-posting of 
>>the "Garth Brooks" message thread was courtesy of a hidden x-ref that was 
>>left to booby-trap the thread into several inappropriate areas.
>>
>>The fine fellow who perpetrated this is Roger Carasso (carasso@turing.org).


  Thanks for the info on this asshole.



Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: tniet@engr.UVic.CA (Taco  Niet)
Subject: My New Years Resolutions
Reply-To: tniet@engr.UVic.CA
Organization: University of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 93 22:11:03 GMT



This year I made some fool proof new years resolutions.  Here is a list.

1. Not to become Gay (or for gay people, not to become straight).
2. Not to travel to far away from this universe. (Some aliens may have trouble with 
			this but pluto still has not gotten close to even leaving the 
			galaxy so I should have no problems with this)
3. Any resolution that starts with-- I will TRY to ...
4. Not to purposefully get lost.
5. Not to purposefully kill people. (Hurting or seriously maiming is still allowed)
6. Not to run over people with my car. (Bicycles and motorbikes, as well as ATV's are
			not included in "car")
7. Not to throw people out the second story window. (Third story windows, car windows,
			and roofs are exempt)

If you have any others or any neccessary changes please E-mail me or post something.

The Burritto

			tniet@ugly.uvic.ca
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Craig Shergold)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Electricity smells of burnt pork
Date: 5 Jan 93 07:44:59 GMT
Organization: The Pontifex Portable Thunderbox and Collapsible Flush Company
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

Once upon a time, when the world was young and the young were whirled,
when BBC2 was still using the Kanga and Roo logo, when there were three
television channels (just imagine that kiddies, /three/ whole television
channels) they had this brilliantly original idea for cheap programmes.
You get in from the street the nearest idiot who wants to make a fool of
himself and you let him play with your broadcasting toys for half an hour.
Back then I think it was called Open Door.  The first one of these that 
made anything like a lasting impression on me was called `electricity 
smells of burnt pork'.  It was made by a chap (quite definitely a /chap/, 
and likely enough a brigadeer, or an old boy) with a toothbrush moustache 
and metaphorical plus-fours, and who claimed to be an inventor.  I think 
he was working on man-powered flight or some such horse-feathers.

His title came from one of his childhood experiments.  He had wanted to
understand electricity, so he tried looking into a mains socket.  Then
he tried sniffing at it.  Since the socket only smelled of bakelite, he
tried plugging in some flex and sniffing that.  He found that electricity
was quite painful, but smelled of burnt bork.  Now that is what I call
real science.  If I were on the Committee for the Public Undertanding 
of Science, I would vote this man a grant for furthering the public
understanding of science and engineering (including mathematics).       /
                                                                       /
I think this programme might have made me want to be a mad inventor.  / g
___
What makes experiments scientific is that they have to be repeatable.
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: how one becomes drunk
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,sci.med,sci.chem
Date: 12 Jan 1993 02:08:23 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <1993Jan12.013810.26331@sol.UVic.CA> rigler@dao.nrc.ca writes:
>
>The mechanism(s) responsible for hangovers are less well understood, 
>but are thought to involve the spontaneous decay of carbon nuclei.  

If this were the case, then obviously alcohols with longer carbon chains
would cause worse hangovers, owing to the greater opportunity for 
spontaneous decay due to the greater number of carbon atoms available.
This, also is easily tested. Verification of this theory is not difficult.

This theory can also be easily reconciled with the theory of lopsided
molecules as well.  I have yet to see any firm experimental evidence 
cited against Finerty's theory.
--scott
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:44174 sci.chem:5718 sci.med:23712 alt.drugs:20762
From: dbell@cup.portal.com (David J Bell)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,sci.chem,sci.med,alt.drugs
Subject: Re: how one becomes drunk
Date: Sat,  9 Jan 93 18:41:16 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: na
  <gHw5wB2w165w@cerianthus.pinetree.org>

>> >you became drunk faster on the alcohols that had a greater number of carbon
s
>> >then this would add support for your theory.
>> >--scott
>> 
>> go for it. get back to me after you've tested isopropanol, butanol, and
>> isoamyl alcohol. (you could try phenol too but it's not so lopsided, it
>> could be the control)

>I can't say for the others, but you can only get dead after consumption of
>(a lot of) isopropanol.  You cannot get drunk on it.

>Darin Cowan - cowan@cerianthus.pinetree.org

I'm not so sure about that: a friend (now a nurse) says that a long
time ago, when she was a young, crazy, penniless radical, she used
to drink rubbing (isopropyl) alcohol, in Coke to make it more or
less palatable... I don't know how much, how often, or for how long!

Dave
dbell@cup.portal.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com 
Subject: Re: Test
Originator: jcarroll@ferris
Keywords: test, test, test
Organization: Huge File System
Date: 4 Jan 93 14:09:27 CST


In article <1992Dec31.233403.12966@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy) writes:
> In article <1992Dec31.223015.13242@pbhyb.PacBell.COM> armally@pbhyb.PacBell.COM (arvind mally) writes:
> >Hello anybody out there!!!
> 
> HI!!   :)    
> 
> 
> 			enjoy the fan mail loser.
> 

*plonk*

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bkeiper@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Bryan S Keiper)
Subject: Damn Window Salesman
Followup-To: Well, nothing really.
Keywords:  Window, Fuck Off
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 08:54:41 GMT



RING



RING



RING

Me:  Hello?

DAMN WINDOW SALESMAN:  Mr. Keiper?

M: Yes?

DWS:  This is Danald from Central Ohio Window and Glass, have you checked the 
condition of your windows lately?

M: Excuse me?

DWS: Have you checked the condition of your windows lately?  You could be 
losing hundreds of dollars per year in heat as cold air seaps into your home.

M: I live in a boarding house and don't pay for heat...

DWS: Yes, well surely you must realize that the amount of heat being lost 
through your windows...

M: Fuck off.

DWS:  Excuse me?

M: Fuck off.

DWS: I see.  I assume this means you don't want a free estimate?

M: Correct, now fuck off.

DWS: You're absolutley sure that...

M: Yes, I'm sure.  I happen to enjoy paying the extra money to heat my home, 
now fuck off!

DWS: Fine.  I hope you have a nice day then sir (more than a hint of sarcasm 
here...)

M: Thank you. Fuck off.    *click*



-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Bryan Keiper                               bkeiper@magnusug.acs.ohio-state.edu

DISCLAIMER: The opinions or whatever expressed above are mine and do not 
represent those of the Ohio State University, but hey, wouldn't it be neat if 
they did?
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: Re: Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire -- anagrams
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,rec.puzzles
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 05:18:58 GMT

Scott Dorsey (kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov) wrote:
:  elkies@ramanujan.harvard.edu (Noam Elkies) says:

: >Nice, but I thought "Voltaire" was itself an anagram of his actual
: >last name, "Arouet l.j." (l.j. = Jr., and using the old convention
: >that i=j and u=v in anagrams).  Did he ever call himself "Francois
: >Marie Arouet Voltaire"?

: The bust of him in the library when I was in college read 
: "Francois Jean Marie Arouet de Voltaire."
: --scott

A friend of mine who knew his wife said his real name was "Franvoid Jean Marie
Jacques Galverran Beatrice del Carmen Teresita Margarita Aroute de Voltaire".

-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I'm gonna follow my feelings...I'm gonna follow my senses...I'm gonna follow   my compass!"  --Lone Justice
Current Album--Cyndi Lauper:True Colours
Current Read--Antony Swithin:The Lords of The Stoney Mountains
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra)
Subject: Re: Sleeping With the Humorless
Organization: t.b
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 20:05:28 GMT

kyle@Ingres.COM (Kyle Smith) writes:
> boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell) writes:
> >Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
> 
> 	Or like I always say "Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!"
>
> *****	Kyle E. Smith  ********************************************************
> *****	Ingres Tech Support Server Dude  **************************************

     Wow, Kyle, you're not only an Ingres Tech
Support Server Dude, you're a Damn Funny Dude
as well!

     We can always use a new bright and original
face around here.  Would you consider posting
to our little newsgroup on a regular basis?

--Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
                        {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jon@hill.lut.ac.uk (Jon P. Knight)
Subject: Re: Goodbye Reunion Goodbye
Organization: Dept of Comp. Studies, Loughborough University of Tech., UK.
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 93 20:16:47 GMT

In article <1993Jan7.000858.10213@lut.ac.uk> L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood) writes:
>
>A Reunion - a homage to the Beatles
>[deleted]

Lloyd later confessed in email that this was plagerised.  I just thought I'd
let you all know just how unoriginal he really is.

Jon 
-- 
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Jon Knight, Research Student in High Performance Networking and Distributed
Systems in the Department of _Computer_Studies_ at Loughborough University.
* Its not how big your share is, its how much you share that's important. *
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Xmas report
Date: Mon, 04 Jan 93 19:53:31 EST
Organization: Zantop World Airways

I spent Christmas night and the early morning of the 26th in the lounge
car of Amtrak's Capitol Limited, playing cards with the other passengers.
After the bar closed at midnight, we pooled our resources (my pint of
tequila and their fifth of gin), and decided to stay up all night.
The woman with the bag of Christmas cookies got off in Pittsburgh,
leaving us without food until the dining car opened for breakfast at 6 am,
somewhere between McConnelsburg, PA and Cumberland, MD, and we all
went and had pancakes for breakfast.

Several days later, I sold my Norinco AK magazine-fed SKS to Duffy's
Gun Room in Sparks, MD.  They gave me $175 for the rifle and 480 rounds
of steel-case 7.62x39 ammo.  They had to write down my name and driver's
license number, since the Maryland State Police now keeps track of all
sales of weapons with detachable magazines.

ljd
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Cashiers
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 15:34:55 GMT

rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:

>"And you know what they make the coloring for cokes and pepsis out of--
>BUG JUICE"

>(Disbelief from the other two cashiers)

>"No, carmen, carmarel, whatever that stuffs called..."

>"Caramel coloring"

>"Yeah,t hat stuff. They mkae it out of BUG JUICE. Im never drinking
>nothing I cant see thru anymore."

There is ZERO doubt in my mind that this 'BUG JUICE' rumor can trace its
roots to the propaganda department of the Pepsi corporation.  I'm sure
these guys still get hard-ons thinking about Coke's ultra-brilliant
marketing schemes of past years, namely the Old Coke/New Coke scam ("Gee,
we didn't think anyone would miss the old coke!") and the Coca-Cola
clothing scam ("YOU pay US top dollar to advertise our product!").  It's
a shame that bug juice is the best they can come up with.

--mark
From: hoppie@nemesis.East.Sun.COM (Tom Hopkins)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: NOT!
Date: 12 Jan 1993 01:33:39 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc., Billerica, MA. 
Distribution: world
Reply-To: hoppie@nemesis.East.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: nemesis.east.sun.com

In article 122@genco.bungi.com, mhl@genco.bungi.com (Mark Levy) writes:
>In article <1ij6ffINNho3@master.cs.rose-hulman.edu> operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu writes:
>|>I know I'll be dead in 100 years (unless something really wacky 
>|>happens), and the thing that hurts me most is that 2 or 3 years 
>|>later, no one may ever know I existed.

A simple solution:  Threaten the life of a U.S. President.  Within
hours of performing this act a file of your existence will be created,
which in all likelihood will outlive you by hundreds of years.
Particularly if you also threaten the life of any dark shadowy figures
which may visit your home in the upcoming months.

>   Not if you have this simple phiosophy...  You are _ALL_ just a figment
>of my (somewhat warped) imagination.  If (and when) I die, you will all
>simply cease to exist!  So, IMHO, I had better not die anytime soon!

Don't worry about us.  There are plenty of other warped imaginations
out there to haunt.  We'd have left already, but we like your salad
bar.

-Tom Hopkins <hoppie@turbo.east.sun.com>

Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:43686 rec.puzzles:8240
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.puzzles
Subject: Re: Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire -- anagrams
Date: 6 Jan 1993 13:58:41 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

 elkies@ramanujan.harvard.edu (Noam Elkies) says:

>Nice, but I thought "Voltaire" was itself an anagram of his actual
>last name, "Arouet l.j." (l.j. = Jr., and using the old convention
>that i=j and u=v in anagrams).  Did he ever call himself "Francois
>Marie Arouet Voltaire"?

The bust of him in the library when I was in college read 
"Francois Jean Marie Arouet de Voltaire."
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong)
Subject: Re: Motorolla anit-scanner corldless telephones
Organization: Wang Labs, Lowell MA, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 20:30:55 GMT


I noticed that one of the words in the subject was spelled correctly....
Shouldn't that have been "tellephhonnnez" or something?

-- 
Dave Bushong, Wang Laboratories, Inc.   Amateur Radio Callsign KZ1O
Project Leader, OCR products            kz1o@n0ary.#noca.ca.na
Internet: dbushong@wang.com
From: ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: A Jungian Interpretation of Archie Andrews
Date: 6 Jan 1993 04:58:55 GMT
Organization: finchhaus
NNTP-Posting-Host: helen.oit.itd.umich.edu

In article <gj156879.726269832@cunews> gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879) writes:
>Archie: central ego.
>Betty: positive anima.
[et cetera]
>So who the hell is Mr Wetherbee?

Mr. Wetherbee represents the scholastic voyeur, 
the senior male figure (just as crone/mother earth
is the senior female figure).  he is the one who 
thinks that he can observe without obstructing the 
behavior and activities of those around him, yet he 
is intrusive and because he is a symbol of authority 
his presence is felt too heavily by those he desires 
to watch and thus he will never achieve what he most 
wants to be; the invisible omniscient.  since he has 
tenure, he will not go away and leave wild youth to 
persue their desires uninhibitedly.

the s.v. is a figure rarely mentioned by Jung but 
implied in his writing.

AjD
cf. margaret meade
-- 
                       ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu
"You'll never find happiness as a human being, kid." -- Suehiro Maruo
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dave@snitor.sni.ca (Dave Till)
Subject: ooh, baby, baby...
Organization: win valuable prizes!
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 20:40:56 GMT

I found this message in a fortune cookie last week:

"You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment."

--Dave "remember, potential = kinetic" Till
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] FANTASY or REALITY")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Hooray! It came! It came!
Date: 13 Jan 93 04:15:18 GMT
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: clarkl@mace.cc.purdue.edu's message of 12 Jan 93 17:16:35 GMT

In article <C0r3zo.906@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> clarkl@mace.cc.purdue.edu (Leslie Clark) writes:
>   I have joined the ranks of many great bearded men, Karl
>   Marx, Old Abe Lincoln, and Charles Manson to name just a few.  

I was in a cafe last week, and there was an old black guy there, and he
gazed at me thoughtfully for a while, and the said, ``You know who you
remind me of?''

``No,'' I said.  ``Who do I remind you of?''

He nodded sagely.  ``Young Leon Trotsky.''

p.s. this is all true
--

   Nihil tam absurde dici potest, quod non dicatur ab aliquo philosophorum.
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Dorn's Undergroud Cavern.
Date: 10 Jan 93 16:56:59 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <73242@cup.portal.com>, John_-_Winston@cup.portal.com writes:
> Subject: Mitchell Caverns and Dorn Underground Cavern.
>   A US government ownes a cavern that takes people into it  and is called 
> Mitchell Caverns and it is in that general area.
>   My friend Marge Bell used to live just south of the filling station at 
> Cadiz. Once she was going to bury her dead pet dog and proceeded to dig a 
> hole just a few feet south of her house. She dug down a foot or two and then 
> hit a hole.  She then took a 25 feet garden hose and put a weight on the end 
> of the hose and let it down into the hole. She couldn't reach the bottom so 
> she put on another 25 feet piece of hose and still couldn't reach bottom. It 
> scared her so much that she covered up the hose and didn't tell any one else 
> about it. She thought the whole area might fall in and take her with it. 
>   I have a feeling that the hole is part of an underground cavern that would 
> go for miles and maybe connect to the underground city, Mitchell Caverns and 
> Dorn's Cavern.
>   Marge Bell has now moved away to 29 Palms, Calif. Her husband Mr. Bell died, 
> her next husband died but she said that her husbands always died with a 
                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> smile on their face.
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
        relief?

Jason

> John Winston.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy)
Subject: rictus hep meets satan
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,rec.pets,alt.religion.kibology,rec.music.country.western
Summary: everyone likes a good piece of fudge. 
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Keywords: axel
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 93 03:38:57 GMT
Expires: sure


	dude! you are Evil with a capital *E*!!
--
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: I LOST MY FUCKING CAT
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 18:49:32 GMT

in rec.pets
mdorfman@hamp.hampshire.edu writes:
>
>I hope this is not against the rules, but I have a favor to ask.....

BREAKING NET RULE 117.
PUNISHMENT: KILL HIS CAT.

>My fiancee and I just lost our beloved cat of five years. 

THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH THE NET POLICE.

>Gussie was hit by a car a few weeks ago, and we miss her very much. 

I ALWAYS LOVED ARLO BETTER. (I'VE WAITED 10 YEARS FOR A WOODY GUTHERIE
REFERENCE).

>She was a wonderful, noble cat, and taught us so much about love. 

"THIS IS MY FRIGIN' FOOD, GET YOUR OWN"
	--Gussie the Cat


>(hence the busy road that took Gussie's life), and are new in town.  I know
>a lot of people from work, and they have been a wonderful support, but my
>fiancee is a student and hasn't made a lot of friends.

I.E. YOU FIANCEE IS A LOSER.  
YOU'LL ULTIMATELY BE HAPPIER WITH A BIG DOG.

>there mind sending an e-mail sympathy card to my fiancee?  I am sure it would
>help her to know that there are other cat people who can understand her loss.
>It would really mean a lot.
>
>Her name is Liz Stearns, and her e-mail address is:
>
>e_stearns@uvmvax.uvm.edu

DEAR LIZ.
I KILLED GUSSIE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU.
YOU'RE NEXT.

LOVE *ALWAYS*,

"GUS"