From: dwv@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (Dave Vollman)
Subject: AMC: update for 01/11
Organization: HASA "S" Division
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 03:01:42 GMT
Keywords: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ




	Pine Valley was a rockin' place today - NOT!
	here is your update for 01/11/93.
	

	Three major storylines today, I think! No, I didn't
	fall off a bridge and end up in a vineyard. Unfortunately,
	some bozo(s) decided to murder 7 people in a fast food
	restaurant in subarban chicago over the weekend, and there was
	a press conference that ran into the first 10 minutes of AMC.
	I feel this is an appropriate interruption of AMC, unlike
	some i've seen in the past (We interrupt this program to bring
	you the following bulletin, No crime was reported at Michigan
	and Wacker, update at 4:30)
	Please feel free to fill us in on the first 10 minutes, or
	for that case, any other important info I missed.
	
	Snooz-a-cuda rating: 8.75 (1 = Major excitement, 10 = so
	boring you wouldn't notice your pants are on fire)
	
1) Just call me Ted Orsini, I think

	When I joined the program in progress, T[e,a]d was walking
	round the hospital headin back to nola's room. He is talking to
	the dim one and they round a corner. Ruth the wondernurse
	heads out of a room, swearing she heard Tad. Dr. Joe, putting
	on his comforting Husband coat, tells Ruth that she is not
	having Ruthvision(tm), and He hears Tad all the time. Why just
	yesterday, Joe was thinking about growing a mustasche, 
	and he thought he heard tad say, "For god's sake you look like
	a tenor in a barber shop quartet." [ED: Hey Joe, the moustaches
	are over your eyes!].
	
	Meanwhile, The Dixmeister and Nola are having a wonderful
	conversation about Ted. Nola describes him and Dix flashes
	back to Tad. Dix is interrupted by Brainless, and heads home
	(more to follow in part 2). Ted shows up, and promises to
	meet Dix tomorrow.
	
2) Adam Chandler, Superdad!

	At the Chandler estate, the social worker assigned to
	evaluate the warring parents home environments is
	visiting Adam. Hayley and Chuckster are there as Adam lays
	on the charm. Junior runs down, thanking Pops for the
	new computer he got. Yep, Adam Jr. got himself a 486 SX.
	[ED: Geeze, talk about computer envy. In three weeks
	he will probably have 6 sparcstations and a network
	server]. Adam Jr. is escorted out by Winnifred after
	Adam shows that Social worker his time out chair.
	
	Adam leaves the room, and Hayley and Chuck talk to the
	social worker and expose the dark side of receiving Chandler
	chromosones, like the never there parenting, booze and
	major meddling from dear old dad. Adam returns, and after
	listening in, trys to repair the damage, saying it all
	their mother's fault (skye's mom and arlene). 
	
	Meanwhhile, Brian has received word that the social worker
	is heading over for her visit to the Cooney homestead.
	Dix is a wreck as Brainless cleans. Ruth and Joe come over
	for Moral support as Brian leaves.
	
3) Jackson Montgomery, a man of ethics, honesty and integrity

	Jack has found his mystery woman in his room at the
	valley inn. He quizzes her on that night on the road.
	She denies any knowledge, however, she needs a lawyer
	and bad. She won't disclose any information, but offers a
	$15 K retainer. Jack needs more info. She puts more evasive
	moves on than a running back. Jack finally gets her
	name (and I can't remember what it is) after she comes
	out of hiding when someone was at the door. She asks
	Jack to help her. Jack zooms in and liplock happens.
	Jack pulls back. He says "I don't sleep with my
	clients." She says "It's a good thing I'm not
	your client yet." Strap a helmet on that soldier,
	counselor!
	
Comments:

	Whoever is playing Jack's mystery woman is a tall drink
	of water. She was about looking Jack in the eye, so given
	maybe 2" heels, that puts her into the 6 foot range.
	I want to see her, erica and brooke standing around at some
	function!
	
	Mini unanswered question: Just how big IS PV hospital?
	For a small town, they must have a hospital the size
	of Pres. St. Lukes or Northwestern in Chicago.
	
TAN: Schoo Update.

	Several people have asked me to keep the ratsers updated
	on the antics of the Schoo's (AKA, the Home Alone Couple)
	since I live relative close to where all this happened
	(Hi June-Unit!)
	
	Apparently, their lawyer is going into court tomorrow to
	ask for a gag order on the case, meaning the flow of
	information would stop. Also, I guess these IDIOTS are
	on the cover of a few magazines this week. The only
	place I want to see them is behind bars.

Unanswered Questions:

1) Did Nat and Trevor celebrate Boxing day?

2) Is it possible that Bobby is living with the Kennekott's?

3) How many beds does PV hospital have?

4) What did Dr. Joe get Ruth for Christmas?

5) Is there a Victoria's Secret in the PV mall.

6) If Trevor watches "Loving," Isn't he going to wonder
   why Jerermy is on TV?

7) Does Tad wear boxers or briefs?

8) Is the orsini vinyard's motto: "We'll treat you
   like family?"

9) What is the weirdest request the consierge at the
   valley inn has received?

10) Is Alfred Vanderpool still a virgin?
    (By law, this question must be asked once
     a year)

11) When will Lovebug Jr. be kidnapped?

Have fun!

-- 
				| Dave Vollman (HASA "S" Division)
  If I have a choice for the	| AT&T Bell Laboratories, Naperville, IL
  next life, trained seal is 	| Email: dwv@ihlpm.att.com
  looking damn good!		| AT&T would never let ME speak for THEM!