Newsgroups: bit.listserv.words-l
Date:         Thu, 27 Aug 1992 17:21:32 EDT
From:         Rita Marie Rouvalis <rita@EFF.ORG>
Subject:      In the Amazon Spirit
Comments: To: words-l@uga.cc.uga.edu

	In searching through some old files, I came upon this little
gem.  I dedicate it to you, Harwell.


Date: Wed, 15 Jan 92 17:13:32 EST
From: zonker@splinter.coe.northeastern.edu (technically hip babe)
Subject: the armed woman's attitude test
To: rita@eff.org
Message-Id: <9201152213.AA14537@splinter.coe.northeastern.edu>
X-Envelope-To: rita@eff.org
Status: OR


		   The Armed Woman's Attitude Test
			   by Massad Ayoob
	       printed in "Women & Guns", Dec '91 issue

The media, both entertainment and news, have grotesquely skewed the
public image of women who choose to responsibly own firearms for
self-defense.  Unfortunately, constant exposure to public image can
affect self-image.  That can be dangerous, whether the result is a
woman who becomes anorexic or a woman who allows herself to be talked
out of exercising her absolute right to effective personal
protection.

This Armed Woman's Attitude Test is offered in the hopes of putting
some of the false images into a proper perspective.  Please circle A,
B, or C in answer to each question.



  What is the real meaning of that pink T-shirt with a revolver on it
  that says, "The ultimate in feminine protection?"

A. Obviously a plot by seditious gun fanatics from the NRA.
B. Ultimate force equals ultimate personal protection.
C. A 9mm for "light days" and a .44 Magnum for "heavy days.

  For rape and assault prevention, a whistle is:

A. All you'll ever need.
B. Next to useless with nothing to back it up.
C. The signal to "Fire!"

  The movie _Thelma_&_Louise_ was:

A. An insidious Hollywood plot to stamp out femininity and glorify
   mindless violence by women.
B. A female buddy film that included allegories of empowerment.
C. A training film.

  What was technically wrong with the scene in _Thelma_&_Louise_ where
  the two women disarmed a Texas State Police Officer.

A. Real women would never do anything as tacky, tasteless, and
   altogether gauche as pointing guns at a man, let alone taking his
   icky, disgusting gun for their own use.
B. There is no Texas State Police per se, but rather a Department of
   Public Safety that includes a Highway Patrol; they do not authorize
   the .45 1911 auto for carry except by Texas Rangers; the ammo on the
   officer's belt was revolver cartidges in single loops, not appropriate
   auto pistol ammo in magazines.
C. The dumb broads left a perfectly good shotgun clamped to the
   dashboards of the cruiser.
[D.  it wasn't a Texas State Police Officer... --regis]

  A mouse runs across the kitchen floor.  The proper response it to:

A. Climb onto a high stool and scream for a man to help you.
B. Call the exterminator.
C. Link up the belt feed to the M-60.

  You are discussing the depressing local crime statistics with your
  good-hearted neighbor, Ralph, who suggests that you buy a .25 caliber
  pistol for home defense.  You reply:

A. "Never! A woman who buys a gun has humiliatingly surrendered to the
   evil ethos of mindless macho sexist brute force!"
B. "An amusing suggestion, Ralph, but don't you think it's a little
   light for the purpose?"
C. "Only to plant in the dead hand of the next little weasel stupid
   enough to give me wimpy advice like that!"

  What is your reaction to the concept of a bra holster?

A. "Yeech!  It would be an obscene juxtaposition of the icon of death
   with the symbol of nurturing!"
B. "Uncomfortable and impractical, designed by males for females."
C. "Not a bad idea, so long as it doesn't get in the way when you
   reach for the MAC-10 submachinegun in your shoulder sling.

  Define "male."

A. The first syllable of "malevolance," which in turn is only one
   letter short of "male violence."
B. An individual of the opposite sex.
C. A quaint anachronism, once useful for protection of females, but
   rendered obsolete by contemporary firepower.

  Where, in the scheme of things defensive, do such spray products as
  Mace and CapStun belong?

A. Nowhere!  If you just show your attacker compassion and
   understanding, you won't need nasty things like that.
B. At the lower-threat levels of the Use of Force Continuum.
C. In the medicine cabinet; real women use mace instead of Feminique.

  You are cornered in your home by a knife-wielding intruder.  he
  ignores your command to halt, and charges you with the knife upraised.
  How many shots should you fire?

A. None.  It would be better to die than sacrifice moral victory by
   using "his" kind of force.
B. As many shots as are necessary to stop the attack.
C. A minimum of fifty shots.  Hey, when is the next time you'll get a
   chance like this to express yourself, and get in touch with your
   feelings?

			   Grading the Exam

If 8 or more (80 %) of your answers were "A," it is time to check into
a Reality Clinic.  Perhaps the meek will inherit the earth, but only
when the rest of us are done with it.

If 8 or more of your answers were "B," welcome to the land of the
well-adjusted adults who manage their own responsibilities with an
appropriate level of power.

If 8 or more of your answers were "C," don't feel too bad.  Society
may not have a place for you, but Hollywood will, as soon as they
start casting for the lead role in _Bride_of_Rambo_.
Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU