From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: Yet another sleepless night
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 14:36:55 GMT

jon/space cadet:

>>I think _everyone_ in here should carry around a condom at all times.
>>The only exceptions to this are those who are in a committed
>>relationship and are absolutely sure of their own fidelity (and either
>>want a baby or have made other arrangements,) those who have made a
>>religious committment to celebacy (e.g. until marriage) and perhaps
>>female homosexuals. Everyone else should have a condom in their wallet
>>or purse. Lack of opportunity or virginity is not a good enough reason,

abner:

>Abner looks vaguely disturbed.  "Carry a condom with me at all times?  Sorry,
>the only times I intend to have a condom with me is when I intend to have sex.
>And, believe me, I'm going to know ahead of time - because it'll only happen
>with someone I know well, love, and who I've talked things over with first."

>"I don't know about that set of conditions - it doesn't seem to have a place in
>it for someone who isn't in a serious relationship, isn't religiously motivated,and isn't a female homosexual, but who DOES have enough self-control that
>he or she isn't going to hop into bed without enough advance warning (several
>days, in all likelihood) to go and buy a condom.  I have no interest in
>having a condom in my wallet - it would make a statement about me that isn't
>true."

>"The only excuse for not having a condom in your wallet is that you aren't
>going to need it on a moment's notice.  Why spend money for something you
>know you aren't going to use?"



kitten decides to pounce on this discussion, too (but i'll just bat it
around a bit and then let it go so it can be pounced on by somebody
else...i won't snap it's spine and have it for breakfast :)  )

"well...i remember what joan/johann/eunice said in _i will fear no
evil_ about wearing a diaphram constantly...even to go out to the
grocery store...because you just never can tell...}:)

i think that if i were fertile (i got married in sept. 87 and got my
tubes tied in nov.) i would certainly carry a condom at all times....i
am an old married woman....but there is NO point in taking a
chance...and as far as TRUSTING a man to think about birth control
(even such good men as i have found here in callahans) no way in
hell.... 
(i spent 12 of the 13 years before 1987 on the pill (and they stayed
in purse...not in the medicine cabinet...and the other year carrying a
diaphram in my purse...never left home without it.)


in fact...they can say what they like about the male birth control
pill, but i wouldn't believe a man who said he was on one...or a man
who said he had a vasectomy...(unless he could show me a signed
certificate from the doctor AND the scar)

that is the thing that SCARES me the about rape .... besides the fact
that it is a violent act (not sex) [rape fantasy is not the same thing
john.  we could discuss that later]  if i were fertile i would not be
in control of the possibility of pregnancy...and i would not be in
control of the possibility of disease

now, this might make me sound bad...i have never been terribly
promiscuous...not a slut...but i also don't embrace celibacy as a life
style (well, once...but that is another story)...i ADMIRE people who
are more controlled about their sex lives...but ....

even now...if i was to have sex with someone other than my husband
(and this is theoretical) i would INSIST on a condom ....but i don't
carry one either....

...i am rambling...

i am not criticizing you abner...NEVER.  and you are doing what is
right for YOU..  but i can see where space cadet is coming from...
and i sort of have to agree with him...."

kitten looks down off the top of a mountain of soap boxes...hoping
somebody will catch her if she jumps.

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

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