From: yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich)
Subject: Re: I HAD NO CHOICE ( was: Biological reaso
Organization: MIT Lincoln Laboratory
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 92 13:45:13 GMT

In article <7q75VB2w165w@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca> lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca writes:
>bobk@dogear.spk.wa.us (Bob Kirkpatrick) writes:

>> Whoa. Mental abuse (more commonly called Emotional Abuse) has a prevalence
>> in America unrivaled in any other country. It is an actionable offense, as
>> you pointed out earlier, if it can be proven in court. Emotional abuse has
>> many faces too. From telling someone repeatedly that they have no value,
>> to making threats with no substance, but are believed by the victim. Emo-
>> tional abuse is responsible for a tremendous amount of damage.
>> 
>> To label it as a "made for tv movie" is hardly accurate, Jon. The abuse is
>> so destructive, that we're waking up to the fact that it's responsible for
>> a significant portion of child suicides. Earlier this year I had a young
>> boy as a client --he killed himself. His father wanted no part of him and
>> his mother was an alcoholic. He made it clear that he believed that he had
>> no value at all. Just when we got him placed with relatives, he committed
>> suicide. Emotional abuse is no 'movie.'
>> 
>> > It is not a crime to claim large amounts of a husband's money because the 
>> > boyfriends dick has more money (divorce awards women, punishes men all in
>> > the name of children). The system isn't working Amy. 
>> 
>> That's more or less true. (I don't argue that the system is broken, but I
>> take exception to your generalization.) PEOPLE are screwed by the family
>> law system all the time. Men are, and women are. 
>> 
>> If it's at all possible, we need to try to focus the anger of our divorces
>> towards the right party. Many of the women who use the system as a weapon
>> do so with the encouragement of that system. If the law was intelligently
>> written and approached, we'd see a lot less of the crap. Many of the men
>> who used the system as a weapon --or it's loopholes to slide, do so again
>> with the encouragement of the system. Action/reaction, cause/effect.
>> 
>> It's weird science, to be sure. But grant me this --the overall number of
>> people hurt by our systems of family law vastly outweigh the feminists,
>> conservatives, or traditionalists. To help them in their quest to keep
>> the genders off balance and at each other's throats is a little foolish.
>> 



>     Bob,
>
>     It's so very nice to see your posts on this net...Would you be
>     willing to come up to Vancouver Island sometime to do a workshop,
>     or similar, with some folks here who could, I think, benefit
>     greatly from your insights?
>
>> Happy Holidays!
>> 
>Merry Christmas and Happy '93 to you and yours, as well:-)
>
>Lisa


	Bob,  turn your head.  This is not directed at you.

	I just hate to see too much "stroking" being handed out
	for a well worded dissertation which has extra horsepower
	because of (a genuine) sob story.

	It is self evident that it's *PEOPLE* who are getting
	hurt by the *COURT SYSTEM*.  Let's not get caught up
	in melodrama here.

-- 
	Alan Yasutovich
	"inquiring  (and nosey) minds WANT TO KNOW!!!"
	I can remember when "safe sex" meant having a padded headboard!!
	Tick Tock.....Tick Tock......Tick Tock .....Tick Tock......