From: aaron@loki (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Lightning Strikes Twice
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 03:53:37 GMT

Lightning's not supposed to strike twice, Jenny thought frantically, clutching
the bag of groceries tighter to her chest.  Obviously the lightning didn't know
what it was and wasn't supposed to do, and she didn't have time to educate it--
time to save Gunnar as he stood atop the hill where she had first seen him a
few days ago.

He had frightened her a little that first time, Jenny owned to herself.  His
strange horned helmet, green skin and ragged clothing had blinded her to the
gentle heart which beat within--the heart that he had sworn passionately was
hers to hold or tample over with a herd of elephants.  He had a lot of funny
expressions like that.

She flinched as yet another bot came down and struck him.  She was torn between
the urge to run and help him somehow and the urge to run for shelter in her
apartment before the driving rain disintegrated her paper grocery bag.  She had
gotten cod like he had asked for, although nobody at the A&P had ever heard of
"lutefisk".

That decided her.  Gunnar couldn't eat the cod if he was dead, and it would
stink up her apartment.  Jenny dropped her bag of groceries and ran towards
the hill.  "Gunnar!" she called as she ran.

He whirled, surprised.  The lightning which had been branching towards him
swerved and hit a tree to Jenny's left.  Blinded, she stumbled over a rock and
fell on her face in the mud.  She lay there, stunned and breathing hard, until
she once again remembered Gunnar.  She lifted up her head and saw him kneeling
before her, his look somewhere between apologetic and annoyed.  The rain,
driving so hard a few minutes ago, had stopped.

"Djinny, art thou okay, or hast thou been rent limb from limb and trampled by
elephants?" he asked seriously.

"I'm fine."  Jenny smiled tremulously.

He touched her forehead, and she flinched.  "Methinks thou hast a bruise 'pon
thy fair bow, which will swell 'til it doth encompass the size of a grapefruit."
He took her hand and lifted her effortlessly to her feet.  She stole a glance
at the rippling muscles on his glistening body, suddenly filled with a desire
to...no.  She averted her eyes, looking instead down at herself.  She was,
indeed, a mess.

"Look at my dress," Jenny wailed.  "It's half falling off."

"Did you bring the lutefisk?" Gunnar asked.  His eyes held a strange intent
light.  "I hath need of some."

She shook her head, trying to arrange her muddied dress a bit more decorously.
"They didn't have any at the store."

He sighed.  "Well, no matter.  Hast thou cod?  With that and lye, I may feast
as well as on lutefisk."

"Um," Jenny said.  "I did have some, but I dropped it in the mud when I saw you
on the hill."

"Dear Djinny," he sighed.  "Knowest thou not that what thou droppest thou must
pick up?"

Slightly miffed--she _had_ done this as a favour to him--she returned to pick
up the groceries from where she had dropped them: in a puddle.  The bag was
completely gone, and the tartar sauce jar had broken, but the cod was fine,
apart from being a bit damp under the plastic wrap.  Well, it was a fish,
wasn't it?  A little water wouldn't hurt it.

Gunnar didn't seem to mind.  Smiling happily, and showing off dimples the size
of thumbprints, he bit into the fish.  He frowned.  Tsking, Jenny gently
reached up--he was really rather tall--and removed the plastic wrap from his
teeth and the cod.  "Didn't you want some lye with that?" she reminded him.

"Of course," he said, pulling a scrap of plastic off of one tooth and tasting
it.  "So thou hast of lye, then?  A prolonged marinade would be best, but a
quick dunking would probably be enough for the nonce."

Jenny fished in her pocket.  "I couldn't find any, but I remember hearing once
that soap was made out of lye."  She handed him a bar of Zest and couldn't
help noticing how well it matched his skin tone.  Sara at the cosmetic counter
couldn't have done it better.

Gunnar looked from the bar of Zest to the cod and back.  "I am more used to lye
in a shape more watery, but an thou wear this bar holds lye, I will believe
thee."  He thought for a moment, then said, "Perhaps if I rub it on the cod..."

"Would you like to come inside and do that?" Jenyn said, suddenly conscious
that they were standing in a public park, she muddy, and he half-naked, green,
and ready to soap his fish and eat it.

"Nay, this place will serve."  He started rubbing the bar on the cod, pausing
to let Jenny unwrap it for him.  Eventually the cod was smeared with a thin
green film all over.  Then Gunnar opened his mouth, his jaw seeming to open to
an impossibe angle, like that of a snake.  He popped the cod in, and it slid
down his throat, making a noticeable lump in his neck as it did so.  Jenny
shuddered as she saw the lump, but she reminded herself it was better than his
not eating, which he hadn't up to this point.

Gunnar closed his jaw with an audible click, rubbed his cheek for a moment,
then said, "That--"  A funny look crossed his face.  "--was--"  He raised his
hand before his face and looked at his fingers.  "--not lye?"

Jenny looked on in horror as Gunnar started to dissolve.  "I'm melting!" he
said.  She lunged forward to throw her arms around him, but all she did was
smear him on her dress.  Soon nothing was left of him but a green scum on the
surface of the puddle, and stains all over her dress.

   ---Co-written with my wife, mostly alternating passages

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"And when the thunder breaks, it breaks for you and me."
   ---This Mortal Coil
Current Album--Michael Breen
Current Read--Damon Runyon:The Bloodhounds of Broadway
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