Organization: Temple University/SCT Computer Services
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.christia
Date:         Thu, 23 Jul 1992 13:52:45 EDT
From:         "Roger A. Phyall" <ROGER@TEMPLEVM.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: Spiritual leadership in the home

Dear Sisters Carol & Others:

     There are two possible paths for Christian wifes with unwilling to lead
husbands.  1)  (Being commercial momentarily)  Attendance at the Family Life
Seminars (freebies) given by Rev. Melvin Floyd at Neighborhood Crusades here
in Philadelphia, PA;  -OR-  2)  Perfect the art of *non-persuasion*.

The first is obviously the easiest and less painless of the two.  But I know a
journey to Philly every week would reverse the two points for some of you.  So
we must concentrate on point #2.

     Step 1:  Recognize that just like my smoking, hubby must be convicted of
              his need to take charge in the "federalship" manner.  We don't
              want to rear up some monsters here.  Come up with a decision that
              you feel YOU need spritual counseling on with his help.  Maybe
              changing churchs, or having another child, or maybe kids to what
              kind of school - public/christian/etc.  Hope you have some idea
              of where I'm headed.  Having explained ahead of time what you
              are really getting counseling for & your cover topic to your
              counselor.  You and your counselor proceed to *gang up* on your
              'hubby' and educate scripturally what his *job/role* is.  This
              may turn the trick all by itself; if not, then:

     Step 2:  Take the "bull by the horns" having girded yourself and the kids
              for what could occur, and make *NO DECISIONS* for him.  "Honey,
              what do you think"s are allowed as long as the final word still
              comes from him.  Caution, you may run out of food because he will
              not decide if/when/who is going shopping.  I hope you see how
              this method could blow up in your face, but the success rate is
              very encouraging.  Empty bellies learn very quickly.



This method(s) has been used before to return some of chivary's acts such as
opening car doors (eventho it gets somewhat cold in that street in the winter),
attending the chair at the table (tho the ol' stomach gets ferocious standing
there looking at that food), and such.  With these examples an agreement was
struck between spouses that the hubby would open car & such doors and put the
chair up to the table.  Eventually, hubby gets the message but the wait might
have been a little painful.  Finally, I hope you get my drift, and I would love
to hear how things go or flop.

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| Temple University (038-15) |                                  |
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