Newsgroups: alt.personals
Subject: Re: Rai Has Been Chosen as Net.Goddess!!!  Read On...
From: steiner@jupiter.cse.utoledo.edu (jason "Think!" steiner)
Date: 14 Aug 92 19:55:21 EST

franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (<<<***Steve Franklin***>>>) writes:
> 
> a) you must tell people you are a 6'0 swedish blonde with perfect dimensions
>    (perfect dimensions will vary from coast to coast. Remember the Americans
>    will prefer the top heavy woman with a center of gravity about 5 feet off
>    of the ground. The Europeans will take anything that doesn't shave.)

and if you're talking to me you have to look like Wynona Rider.

> b) You must treat all men on the net like 6'5 jocks. Even though many
>    of them can't fulfill a simple pushup, you must make them THINK they
>    can. Treat all men like Gold, and they will treat you like a sex-object.
>    sex-object = net.goddess

i'll -believe- she looks like Wynona if she believes i'm a hunk.

> c) You must spend 32.5 hours a day on the computer busy writing, posting,
>    scanning, chatting, talking, ircing. You must become their FRIEND.
>    p.s. - do not associate with the Reality-checkers of the net - they will
>    provide words of truth and harsh necessity that might actually shatter
>    the concept of LeftyLand that you oh-so enjoy.

pander to me baybee!

> d) You must wear sun-block at all times to ensure that pale/sickly
>    look of no tan. Make sure that you have a low-emission monitor, 
>    so that no rays squeek through your monitor. (remember, being on 32.5 hours
>    a day, you will catch A LOT of this)

hey now. once i've gone to all the trouble of finding a net.goddess i
don't want her dying of skin cancer.

> e) You can't have any sort of morals. You must implement such phrases as
>    "bible-thumpers", "control freaks", etc... You want every individual
>    to think you're absolutely experienced. An ascii-Gisha girl of sorts.
>    You have no morals. Only desires, which you achieve to their fullest
>    via the keyboard. (thus LeftyLand)

a virgin in the kitchen and a whore at the keyboard.

> f) You must make up a name for yourself that is unique, individual, and
>    exotic. No Jane Doe's or the likes. Something really wierd. take a common
>    word that everyone knows and mix the letters around a bit. For instance:
>    take water... no, earth... no air. Yes air. Now, mix up the letters a bit
>    and then see what you can come up with. 

Wynona Rider?

> g) Even though you are on the computer 32.5 hours a day, you actually
>    enjoy horseback riding, ballet, UNIX, and bowling (that should cover
>    any athletic whims the men on the Net might have). (by the way,
>    they will never clue in that you wouldn't have time for these hobbies 
>    because you are always on the computer.)

you forgot fencing, fighting and true love! i insist my Net.Goddesses
enjoy fencing, fighting and true love!

::sheesh:: we pitiful little lifeless net.worms were just beginning
to have fun. no need to rain on our parade. besides, if you've got such
a life where did you find all the time to read all our drivel, much
less write long replies to it? (me? i'm just waiting for that compile
to finish...)

jason

--
would you could you should you cross thru if i could wipe my eyes a blinding
compromise another pinky shave enlightens the brow now cow to die another day
if you prefer outside be blessed sir ostracize better bastard now forgotten
well instead of favored son of hell in hopes to open eyes - scaterd few, U
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` steiner@jupiter.cse.utoledo.edu `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`
Newsgroups: alt.personals