From: steve@bucolix.ece.ncsu.edu (Steve Garnier)
Newsgroups: rec.motorcycles
Subject: Re: DoD number
Date: 11 Apr 92 20:03:06 GMT
Article-I.D.: ncsu.1992Apr11.200306.16519
Reply-To: steve@bucolix.ece.ncsu.edu (Steve Garnier)
Organization: North Carolina State University

In article <gdtlDsS00WBOQ1d51J@andrew.cmu.edu> 
ps3p+@andrew.cmu.edu (Peter A. Simon) writes:
>Steve Garnier writes:
>>  On behalf of the DoD, I would like to say that some of us don't
>>  care for your brand of moonshine.  Also, you need to carefullly
>>  pick where you moon, since somebody with a rat-tailed wood-rasp 
>>  just might take the opportunity to modify your requested number
>>  to read (or should that be "ream"?) as follows:
>>				10 O 00
>Dear Dildo-face (I assume that that's what you're really going to do the
>reaming with, since an effete prig like you wouldn't know which end of a
>rat-tailed wood-rasp was pointed),

Well, this is a *very* weak start for a flame.

>You most assuredly do NOT speak on behalf of the DoD!  Never have, never
>will.  

<sigh>  ...definitely humor-impaired....

>My *requested* number?  You mean my *officially issued* number, don't
>you?  Surely someone who believes that they speak on behalf of the DoD,
>the Kot-something-or-other (and such a looooow number, too!), and a geek
>as well, has access to "the list?"  Recently posted.  Don't you even
>read the board?

hmmmm...lacks knowledge concerning generation/listing of the DoD 
membership list...asks question with an obvious answer...

>>  Just tryin' to be helpful.  And, oh yes, good luck finding the 
>>  KotL.
>
>Already found, shit for brains.  Paid my silly-ass dues just like you. 
>And if the KotL doesn't like my brand of humor, yes HUMOR, as in :-), I
>assure you, he doesn't need your ineffectual help.  When aroused, which
>seems to be seldom, he is one of the most vicious flamers around.  

...dues?...what dues did *I* pay?...I never paid any dues to the DoD...
...claims that he put forth humor, and then can't see the humor in my post...

>So, to you Mr. KotP (Keeper of the Purity), I offer:

Purity?  Now that *is* funny!

>Peter "Ben Dover" Simon
>
>DoD #10o00, KotBM (Big Moon)

Dear Ben, DoD #10O00,
Are you sure that KotBM isn't short for Keeper of the Bowel Movement?  :-)

Baud!  DoD Newbies can certainly have a hard time recognizing humor!
But that's OK, 'cause I recently had the same problem with BlackJack,
where the roles were reversed.  Even DoD OldOnes can find it difficult.

Peter, it seems like my tongue in cheek was taken seriously by you.
In all honesty, I really liked your post.  I found it very amusing.
I understand how my intent to return humor with humor could be misread
by *anyone*, considering the sterility of this ascii-limited medium.
We don't have the luxury of body language or facial expression.  It's
often easy to spin yourself up when reading a humor-flame as serious.

For the record, I was not offended by your post.  At the time I read it,
I was drinking a carbonated beverage, and almost sneezed it out my nose
when I laughed.  It's a good thing I didn't spray my keyboard or monitor.

When one considers the phrase "on behalf of the DoD", it is IMMEDIATELY
OBVIOUS to most regular readers of rec.moto that the writer is attempting
humor; the humor is implicit in that very *absurd* phrase.  It's too bad you 
didn't perceive this, and it's unfortunate you've been offended...it was 
not my intent to offend you or hurt your feelings.  I was trying to make
you laugh, just as you made me laugh.  I mistakenly read your original post
as a *request* for a DoD number, and not as an announcement of *gratitude*;
that error probably had something to do with an urgent need for tissues.  
In any case, just as when a newbie posts a request for a DoD number, when 
a DoD-newbie first posts as you did, they usually get flamed.

Oh, BTW, at the time of your post announcing your *gratitude* to the KotL
for being issued DoD #10000, the DoD list server did *NOT* contain your 
name or the number 10000.  I did check.  The KotL doesn't immediately update 
the server the moment after he issues a number; the KotL first updates his
own list, and after he makes enough changes to the list, or when he gets
enough time to do so, he installs the list onto the DoD list server.  
Otherwise, the KotL would be updating that server so often that he couldn't
get any *real* work done...shit, the man is busy enough as it is!  Can you
imagine how inefficient it would be to update the server for each and every
single new DoD# request?  Also, propogation rates of posted articles from 
different sites can vary significantly, so a posted membership list might 
be received at my site at a different time than yours. 

It's too bad that we can't meet in person.  I think you'd feel pretty
sheepish about calling me "dildo-face", "geek", "effete prig", and 
"shit-for-brains".  I believe we'd be pretty good friends, just from 
your brand of humor.  I think it's interesting that you know what a 
"rat-tailed wood-rasp" is; not many people know much about wood-working
tools...especially computer "geeks/effete-prigs".  Perhaps proctologists
know more about such devices than "geeks" do, eh Ben?  Also, if you read 
rec.moto as often as I do, perhaps you would have recognized my humor.  I 
read rec.moto daily and post fairly often.  And the KotL has *never* been a
"vicious flamer" (sorry KotL :-)...at least not by my definition, but he's
most definitely a "quality flamer", and quality/logic makes for a more
superlative flame than rabid insults.  

You want to see a "vicious flame"?  That could be supplied, but I don't think
you deserve that kind of abuse at this time.  I save that for people who
repeatedly abuse others.  At the end of one particularly abusive flamefest,
one individual unsubscribed from this newsgroup.  The First Keeper then
suggested that I take the title of KotF (Keeper of the Flame).  I wasn't too
sure about it, so I thought about it for awhile, and I also received similar
email from others suggesting that I accept that or a similar title and
commending me on my flames towards the "abuser".  I don't like to flame
abusively, but eventually I took the title as a form of self-denigration 
for the horrendous torrent of abuse I showered upon that individual.  IMO,
that individual deserved the abuse he received, especially considering how
many people he abused beforehand...but that's another story, and I'm
digressing too much on an already too-long post.

I hope this clears things up between us.  I'm a low-income PhD EE student at
NCSU with a new baby daughter; I can't afford to give you a phone call to
straighten this all out.  I have taken this message to email, but since
you posted to the net, I felt it prudent to follow-up your post.

For those of you who were looking forward to seeing the KotF sacrifice
"Ben Dover" on the Flaming Altar of the DoD for his pretentious and immature
flame, I must state that perhaps I'll roast him some other day, when he's more
deserving of the fate.  Until then, "Ben Dover", the Keeper of the Bowel 
Movement, will need to rid himself of his problems with retentiveness, and
hopefully find a title more fitting to his persona.  :-)

Steve Garnier - 1979 Yamaha XS1100SF Special with 156,000 miles and *climbing*
DoD #00000005 - KotF (The Daemon's Byte and Keeper of the Flame), NC Chapter
Internet:steve@bucolix.ece.ncsu.edu  UUCP:{?,gatech,uunet}!mcnc!bucolix!steve