HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Death Peeve
Date: 14 Apr 92 15:50:17 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



Who's Sam Kinison?



Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Quayle, bullies, 'n things (was Re: Lemon Gin, Rape)
Date: 11 Apr 92 11:21:38 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <ku3pk9INN4cs@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis) writes:

-- Maggie's right

Ho ho. I knew that if I read news long enough, some idiot, somewhere,
would eventually say this. It reminds me of the idea that if you sit 
enough monkeys at typewriters they will eventually produce the works of
Shakespeare.

-- 
-jeremy henderson        | I do wonder that so brave a prince as King James 
egpv29@uk.ac.ed.castle   | should be born in so stinking a toun as Edinburgh
                         | in lousy Scotland.
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thursday, 16 Apr 1992 18:27:47 EDT
From: Jenni Sheehey <JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Paying by check

In article <1992Apr16.041408.283@sunb10.cs.uiuc.edu>, pjl@sunb4.cs.uiuc.edu
(Paul Lucas) says:
>
>        I still can't figure out why people pay by check.  The only time
>        you have to is to pay your bills, but when you're out somewhere,
>        pay by credit card or maybe something even as radical as cash.

I don't know about you, but I personally don't have to pay interest on
money I use from my checking account.  And many people don't like to
carry that much cash around, in case it gets stolen.

>        When you pay by check, you have to transfer money into your
>        checking account to cover it; why don't you just withdraw the
>        money instead?

My paycheck is direct-deposited into my checking account.  I don't ever
have to transfer the money.  Besides, I get interest in my checking
account, and if I write checks, instead of withdrawing cash, I get a few
more nano-cents of interest.

>        (Yes, you have to wait for the clerk to validate a credit card
>        too, but it's quicker than validating a check...at least in my
>        experience.)

I've never had nearly as long a wait with a check as I have with credit
cards.  *I* hate being in line behind a bunch of people who are charging
things.  Shoot, some places, the cashiers are so slow at making change,
that even *cash* is slower than a check.  =)

>        I know, I know...supermarkets don't take credit cards.  Why not?
>        They seem to be the only kind of store that doesn't.

Government agencies (including the post office, the liquor stores (in
this state, anyway), and the Division of Motor Vehicles) don't take
them, either.  Neither do a lot of tape rental places...  etc.

>        Peeve: Supermarkets don't take credit cards.

!Peeve: Supermarkets don't take credit cards, so I don't have to pay the
higher prices that would result from the handling fees.  Besides, I
don't have to wait in line behind those annoying people who are using
them.  =) ("Oh, wait, Velma, I got a credit card, here, and the phone
line is down." "Sorry, all you folks in line, there'll be a 20 minute
wait before we can check you through...")

                                                 --Jenni
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: PREscriptions, subsiDIARY...
Date: 9 Apr 92 22:03:12 GMT
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis) writes:



>In article <10207@cernvax.cern.ch> steveb@cernvax.cern.ch (Steve Bougerolle) 
>writes:

>>Q: How do you tell the difference between a Canadian and an American?

>>A: Canadians don't pronounce the 'r' in 'wash.'


>Neither do Californians -- dood.


Yeah.  Nor in Maryland.

I always thought it was a rural Pennsylvania thing, given that I heard
it all over Susquehanna County.

I never spent enough time with folks from the Southern Tier of NY to find
out if they said it that way, too, but I'd be willing to wager that they do.
-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"It's not an adult feature unless someone's gooey at the end."
 -- Bill Hicks
From: egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Commercials (again)
Date: 10 Apr 92 14:26:21 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <1992Apr10.092408.9011@talon.ucs.orst.edu> tim@comphy.UUCP (Tim Mefford) writes:


>Lite dog food? Lite dog food?  God forbid you should simply feed
>your dog less.  

>For that matter, lite anything peeves me all to hell.  One commercial
>a couple years ago had a jingle about 'Cut it loose tonight with C**rs 
>Light.'  Nothing like letting go and having a wild time by ordering lite
>beer.

>All these things are abominations and they have to go.

I agree entirely.  Especially lite beer.  Beer should have no less than
3.5% alcohol by volume (preferably >5%).  Otherwise drink water.
As for low alcohol wine - what's the point?  You wouldn't catch the
French drinking that shit.  If you want fat, eat butter.  It's better
for you than flora "lite" which contains 500 carcinogenic additives. 
However, there is one case where I would be hypocritical to peeve about
low calorie alternatives. This is Helmanns Low Calorie Mayonnaise.  It
tastes IDENTICAL to the real thing and you can eat TWICE AS MUCH!!!!! 
What a bargain!

!Peeve;  Helmanns mayonnaise. 

!!!Peeve;  Home made mayonnaise with lots of garlic.  If you can be
bothered to do it you'll never buy jars of it again.

Babs
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: pocquers (was Re: Smoking Surrogate)
Date: 6 Apr 92 20:34:51 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Apr5.161105.22357@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu> pmmuggli@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu (Pauline M Muggli) writes:

> along the same lines, we once had a substitute teacher for a
>night class.  we were shown a film and had a discussion
>(the topic was industrial safety).  

I once saw an old Navy safety film in which some guy plummeted to his death
from the nose of a beached Martin Mars flying boat, after stepping on a
screwdriver.  Yeah!  That'll learn ya to count yer tools, ya careless bozo!
Zero tolerance.


>during this 3 hour class, the man kept one of his hands in his pocket and 
>rattled a handful of coins.  kind of like a modern version of the chinese
>water torture.

Arrrgh!  I've had teachers do that also.  I always wanted to raise my hand
and ask them which hand was winning.



Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lawyers not Chemists
Date: 13 Apr 92 14:59:31 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



Oh, speaking of loonies, what about this lady who threatened to set
herself on fire in front of the UN Building in New York City?

Linne "Zippo" Gunther (I suppose the spelling "Lynn" would be way too
conventional for such a social iconoclast) from Berkeley (where else?)
parked her Ford Econoline van in the UN Plaza, doused herself with 
gasoline and threatened to immolate herself in protest of the "American
War Machine(tm)." So the cops and the NYFD sealed off the area, donned 
those silver asbestos suits and approached the van to try and deal with 
this woman.  

I don't understand this.  For one thing, I've never seen the sense of 
this form of protest.  If someone kills himself in protest of something, `
he'd obviously be playing into the hands of those against whom he's
protesting -- there'd be one fewer dissenting voice for them to contend 
with!  And there'd be a concomitant improvement in the gene pool as well.

What I'd have done, had I been in charge, would've been to seal off the
area to prevent any harm to innocent bystanders, then I'd have invited
the dumb bimbo to have at it.  I'd probably even have snuck up behind
her van and popped paper bags at random intervals.  I mean, if she really
wanted to kill herself, she'd do so, and if she didn't, she wouldn't.
Why play into her hands by giving her any undue attention and getting the
news media involved?  Fuck that.  Up the ante!  Put up or shut up, sister.



Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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From: Alan.Crowder@prg.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Pencils
Date: 10 Apr 92 14:06:01 GMT
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3


Peeve No.1   Losing my pencil every day.


Peeve No.2   Finding my pencil behind my ear at the end of the day after
             carrying one around in my pocket sticking into my you know
             what.


Ta Ta Fer Now
Alan
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lemon Gin, Rape
Date: 9 Apr 92 21:53:46 GMT
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis) writes:



+In article <10205@cernvax.cern.ch> steveb@cernvax.cern.ch (Steve Bougerolle) 
+writes:

+>Peeve:  What the hell is wrong with my country that they're passing bonehead
+>laws like this?  It's time to move to Singapore or some place, I guess.
+>Sigh...

+Your point is well taken, but you picked the worst possible place as an
+example.  Singapore has perhaps the most incredibly intrusive and outright
+anal retentive laws in the world.  There are laws against spitting in public
+and against failing to flush the toilets in public restrooms, for example.

Hey, I *like* those laws. 

You've never been to China, son, and smelled the can over there.

Pee-yoo!

+In fact, there are plainclothes cops whose only job is to lurk in public
+restrooms and enforce the latter law.  Violators are not only fined, their
+names and photographs are published in the newspaper.  There are strong 
+social santions against males with long hair (i.e., over the collar); some
+places of business have signs saying that guys with such "long" hair will
+be the last ones served.  

Not only that, if you have long hair, you may be detained at Customs and
refused entry when you arrive.

True fact from Pan Am's travel advisory service.
-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"It's not an adult feature unless someone's gooey at the end."
 -- Bill Hicks
From: rwb7054@rigel.tamu.edu (BARRETT, ROBERT WAMBLE, JR)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Short gals--->Tall guys
Date: 9 Apr 92 05:29:00 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


Howdy!! This is my first posting here.  I'm still getting my feet wet, so 
just bear with me.....

Peeve: Short girls(under 5'4") who go out with the guys who are 6'10"

Why don't they look for someone a little more their size?  All the girls
that I could ask out, of course are dating the 7-footers!!!
Heck, that's a foot and a half difference.  They almost need a stepladder
to kiss the guy goodnight!!!

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Lemon, Gin, Rape
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, San Francisco
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 92 21:40:02 GMT

In article <ku788vINNaq8@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
(Geoff Miller) writes:
>>Remember? I'd much rather wake up to Margaret Trudeau or Mila Mulroney giving
>>me head than Barbara Bush. Although there are always gums....
>
>No argument.  The first time I saw a photo of Barbara Bush, I thought she
>was George's *mother.*

What's really weird is that I've seen a couple REALLY scary pictures of
her with kids, this year.  She's behind them, grinning a twisted and
cunning grin, so that one half expects her to garrotte one or two of
them and gring them up for cat food...

    don
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
			Bush for  President in '92!
                                 ^
                                 Ex-
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: cgy@cs.brown.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Low-fat = Low-salt
Date: 14 Apr 1992 21:15:04 GMT
Organization: Brown University Department of Computer Science
NNTP-Posting-Host: cslab5b.cs.brown.edu

In article <92103.191644SEK@psuvm.psu.edu> Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>
>What a disappointment!  Not only was it no longer greasy, it no longer had
>all the great flavor enhancing ingredients like salt!

Peeve: people who like all their food salty.  Are we men, or deer?  Salt is
a habituant.  Stop using it for a while, and you'll discover how nasty it
tastes.

If you want salt in your preprocessed munchies, you should have to carry a
little shaker around with you, like nicotine addicts.

c
From: russ@bbx.basis.com (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lawyers not Chemists
Date: 13 Apr 92 19:35:10 GMT
Organization: BASIS International, Albuquerque NM

In article <kuj8ejINNse@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>
>
>Oh, speaking of loonies, what about this lady who threatened to set
>herself on fire in front of the UN Building in New York City?
>
[biographical details excised]
>
>What I'd have done, had I been in charge, would've been to seal off the
>area to prevent any harm to innocent bystanders, then I'd have invited
>the dumb bimbo to have at it.  I'd probably even have snuck up behind
>her van and popped paper bags at random intervals.  I mean, if she really
>wanted to kill herself, she'd do so, and if she didn't, she wouldn't.
>Why play into her hands by giving her any undue attention and getting the
>news media involved?  Fuck that.  Up the ante!  Put up or shut up, sister.

No need to get *that* close, gasoline vapor is explosive, after all.

A bit of API from a reasonable distance would have allowed you to tow
out the smoking wreck in short order.

Russ "flambe'" Kepler
-- 
Russ Kepler, Basis International Ltd. russ@bbx.basis.com  phone: 505-345-5232
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Vinyl Junkies
Date: Tue, 07 Apr 92 04:08:02 GMT
Organization: Dead Goat Graphics

In article <1992Apr1.085112.6336@email.tuwien.ac.at> alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky) writes:
>and, according to a certain xtc cover:
>
>    the more people buy this record, the more money virgin records, 
>    the management, and xtc themselves will make. to the aforementioned
>    this is known as `pleasure'.

PuristPeeve: The CD of that album (XTC's GO 2, for the musically challenged)
actually replaced the word (yes, I *know* CD is not actually a word but hey)
"record" with "CD." Goddamned annoying.

>i once was asked to take off my jeans before sitting down on 
>an expensive couch, lest the couch wears thin ... ferchrissakes, 
>either get a cheaper piece of furniture, or live with the fact that it 
>will eventually need to be replaced. inconveniencing the guests in 
>a way that could make feebler souls in younger bodies run for their 
>virginity is not the way to go.

Makes me figure that either (a) they were hitting on you in a most subtle
way, in which case you should have removed yer jeans and done what comes
<heh> naturally, or (b) they are total and complete weenies, in which case
you should have removed yer jeans and rubbed yer bare ass all over the 
couch, customizing the damned thing with racing stripes.
-- 
"You could fry an egg on the sidewalk 'cuz it's so hot.
 It would taste like *shit*, but ya could."
                                           -- Phillip Prodger
From: igb@fulcrum.bt.co.uk (Ian G Batten)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Beef(was: Cold Showers)
Date: 13 Apr 92 09:42:44 GMT
Organization: Fulcrum Communications

In article <x2rj86h@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
> 	Since you eat it well-done you know nothing about beef. You
> are probably an expert in shoe leather and near charcoal, however. 
> The only time a piece of beef should be cooked this way is if it is
> a truely lousy piece of meat and you are trying to cover that fact up.

I eat good steak raw.  Only way.

ian
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ELLBRUA@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu (The Lemming)
Subject: Re: New Subject Line
Organization: Yale University
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 92 13:15:49 EDT

In article <31425@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk>
Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
 
>AntiPeeve: after last night's election result (even though I didn't get the
>result I really wanted) it's going to be *fun* today watching all the
>people who were saying "Ah, now the Tory bastards are going to get what
>they deserve" beforehand going around with shocked expressions of disbelief.
 
There's an English guy in my dorm who was doing this yesterday.  He
seems to feel that by the time he finishes his PhD here and is ready
to return to the UK, the country won't exist because it will have
fallen into a horrible depression, become a barren wasteland, and
be owned by Ugandan rebels or somesuch.
 
 
Alex Elliott
The Lemming.
ellbrua@yalevm.ycc.yale.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: Twain was right!
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 92 18:40:07 GMT
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia 
Summary: But Don ...
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Keywords: vi, emacs, edlin

In article <1992Apr14.164914.29106@igor.tamri.com> Don Baldwin writes:

> [ Lots of contention about nukes, war, governments flushed, ending
> with: ]
>I don't have any problem with the realistic notion of governments acting
>in their own interests; who could expect anything else?  I start having
>a problem when we are too willing to blast away and justify our actions
>with reasoning that we'd reject, if another country were to use it

Don:

What does all this have to do with Twain?  Did you somehow make a brilliant
summation which made a cogent, biting point, bringing to mind something
Twain said, only to have your editor mangle your work?  Or are we to
infer something inherently Twainish about your subject matter, writing
style, or personal attributes?

Are you wearing a white suit?

-- 
Rick Gordon            |  "The more things change, the more different 
rickg@netcom.com       |     they get." -- S. Krishna of Copenhagen 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Subject: Re: Engineers
Originator: yarvin@turquoise.CS.Yale.Edu
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 02:40:55 GMT

Jennifer Mina <JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>Peeve: Engineers -- Need I say more?

No.  You have already said enough to brand yourself as terminally clueless.

I would not be surprised in the least if you disliked all people who have
any form of ability or aspirations whatsoever.  But have no fear.  This is a
democracy, and there are enough of you so that we have to treat you nicely.

Have fun flipping burgers.

--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
 "Hatred, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's
  superiority." -- Ambrose Bierce, _The Devil's Dictionary_
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: New Subject Line
Date: 13 Apr 92 10:48:06 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <31551@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
--
--Ah, someone who is overseas - they seem to be the worst sort. Certain
--newsgroups in which the UK election has come up for discussion have had
--messages posted from ex-pat people saying "Right, that's it, there's NO WAY
--I'm going back to the UK to live under the Tories." What's rather strange
--about this is that these people are mailing from the *US*. Odd, when you
--consider that most of the things these people are screaming about the
--Tories introducing (more privatisation) or that they think the Tories will
--introduce (private health care) are already very firmly in place in the US.
--come over here and live under them.

Since I spent some time in the US as a Thatcher-exile, I feel obliged to
respond here. The things I was an exile from were not the private health
care system etc. per se. In the US these things are private, everyone knows
it, and there are various systems set up as a consequence. My employer
paid my health insurance (yes, I know I was one of the lucky ones...), and
as a result I had better health care than I could have dreamed of in the UK.
Things are privately owned in the US and ALWAYS HAVE BEEN - I didn't have to
sit around and watch them being systematically stolen from the public and
given out to rich investors, as was the case in the UK.

But the major luxury was that, even with its many faults, the US still
retains, in obscure pockets, some of the ideals of democracy, including
a written Bill of Rights, a freedom of information act, a prohibition on
prior restraint, and many other little goodies. While I was relaxing reading
Spy Catcher, you poor saps were having to watch your journalists thrown into
jail for daring to QUOTE from it!!!

Rant over.

ObScene - Tony Cunningham and a girl called Tracy in matching shell-suits
driving an XR3i round High Wycombe.

-- 
-jeremy henderson        | I do wonder that so brave a prince as King James 
egpv29@uk.ac.ed.castle   | should be born in so stinking a toun as Edinburgh
                         | in lousy Scotland.
From: dsc@gemini.tmc.edu (Doug S. Caprette Bldg. 28 W191 x3892)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions
Date: 15 Apr 92 15:32:59 GMT
Organization: NASA GSFC CDP VLBI

In article <STEINAR.92Apr11143602@faust.solan.unit.no> steinar@faust.solan.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
>Deborah Trytten writes:
>>...
>>I tell anyone about any of these things I get the most peevesome response
>>of all:
>>
>>What was a *woman* doing walking alone at night ?!?!
>
>Grr.  I hate that one too.  I'm 180cm, and i still hear it sometimes.
>It was especially funny one time when i was carrying a trombone around
>in an oversized wooden case and i got scolded for walking alone at
>"night" (it was dusk, actually).  
>
>spectacular stand-off with the police.  This isn't the peeve, really.
>The peeve is that some loud-mouth politician said all girls and women
>should just stay home after dark.  ("After dark" means "most of the
>time" in winter, here.)
>
The "blame the victim" mentality upsets me to no end.  People have rights.
People have a right to go out in public.  Daytime nightime dusk or dawn,
"good" neighborhoods or "bad."  People's rights don't change.  Society,
has a responsibility to protect people.  Concentrating on the victim, rather
than the criminal, is irresponsible.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves