HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ogorman@unix1.tcd.ie (Lucifuge)
Subject: jfhggei
Summary: making it up...there is no AISB
Keywords: None as yet
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 16:49:59 GMT

Bleah.

I have nothing singularly interesting to write so I'm going to make this
up as I go. Scary prospect. Anyway, life, life sucks. Yes I know it's
not particularly original but then again it's not your birthday either -
as I said, life sucks.

I am of the opinion that Denis Leary lusts after Cindy Crawford.  

Pressing swiftly onwards, I am of the opinion that life sucks.
Unfortunately. I find myself tempted to kill someone. I even have a
reason. It is the same reason people climb mountains.

They're there.

Inside now, I can feel my thoughts compress, drift toward the light.
They are not good thoughts and so are consumed (to be reborn in some
other guise, to be consumed). 2 and three is still five. Life still
sucks.      

Have a nice day,

--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
  The Lord is my Shepherd............................but I'm not a Sheep
-----------------------------ogorman@unix1.tcd.ie-------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Turkey sex
Organization: University of Central Florida
Distribution: world, rec, usa, na
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 03:07:05 GMT

smorris@tweedledum.ucsb.edu (Stephen Morris) writes:

>Ummmm.  Actually, female turkeys can reproduce WITHOUT sex.  Look up
>"parthenogenesis".

>Female people can theoretically do this as well, since they have all the genes  
>they need ... I, for one, hope they decide not to!

I am convinced this is how parents conceived me.

--mark
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Rictus Hep celebrates Christmas
Date: Fri, 08 Jan 93 19:30:31 EST
Organization: Zantop World Airways

... but he gets stuck halfway down the chimney, and, oddly enough,
the owner of the house doesn't buy his story about just dropping
by to borrow a cup of sugar.

ljd
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (brett mcinnes)
Subject: Re: Description of the Fetal Remains from an Abortion (was Re: DEEP SPACE 9 DRINKING GAME
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 05:40:06 GMT

dsholtsi@csl36h.csl.ncsu.edu (Doug Holtsinger) writes:
:   "It was easy to shrug off an aborted pregnancy as nothing more than
:    a sack of blood and globs of tissue--as many pro-choice activists
:    did--if one never saw fetal remains, or products of conception (POC),
:    as they were known in medical circles.  But the nurses, medical
:    assistants, and doctors who worked inside procedure rooms knew
:    that while an eight-week POC was indeed a sack of blood and
:    globs of tissue, an eleven-week POC harbored tiny arms and legs
:    and feet with toes.  At twelve weeks, those tiny hands had tiny
:    nails.  Although the fetal head was too small at that stage to
:    withstand the evacuation machine's suction, pieces of face--a nose
:    and a mouth, or a black eye (all fetal eyes are black in the
:    first trimester) the size of a pea--were sometimes found in
:    the aftermath.
: 
:    Later abortions spawned even more gruesome fetal remains.  Between
:    the twelfth and the sixteenth week, early in the second trimester,
:    the fetus almost doubled in length as its body caught up to its
:    large head, and it filled out to the point where it looked like
:    a human baby for the first time.  Since the fetal skull was 
:    still soft, the head did not come out whole during the evacuation,
:    but the legs and arms and rib cage made it through intact.  The
:    hand of a second trimester fetus, as a Preterm doctor described
:    it, seemed big enough to shake.
: 
:    Most of Preterm's abortion staff didn't volunteer to work ``seconds''.
:    Late first trimester POCs were hard enough.  The counselor/medical
:    assistants (CMAs) met regularly to discuss their feelings about
:    their work, and often the discussion focused on the POC.  Inside
:    a procedure room, facing the contents of the uterus, there was
:    no denying what abortion was." 
: 
Hilarious? Fun? Something that certain very stupid people are obsessed
by? What? I give up.
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep abuses a confidence
Date: Thu,  7 Jan 93 16:58:42 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

When the stranger confided that she would quite enjoy being revered,
he asks "So how about a quick gallop with me, then?"
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant |  inceptus clamor frustratur hiantes             |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: no joke
Keywords: joke
Date: 10 Jan 93 16:33:25 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

|This was so hopeless that even a clueless newbie/lurker like myself is 
|appaled.
|Even so, I probably won't be the first, but:  Fuck Off(tm)
|
|follow-up-to misc.test, indeed.  Nice try.
|
|-b.
|
|---
|zaphod@tfsquad.mn.org (Bryen Zimmerman)
|The Firing Squad BBS, public access Usenet mail and news.  +1 612 291 2632
|Saint Paul, Minnesota


I just want to point out to the Holy Jihad of Critics that infest this
newsgroup that even "clueless lurker newbies" named "ZAPHOD" are doing
it now. Passe' or what?

mr HEINOUS
trying to decide between teddy bears and "endangered babies" for his
next set of checks

and exploring a peculiar admiration/revulsion relationship with Mo
Gaffney.
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Loud noise late at night
Date: 6 Jan 93 18:58:17 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: William's Wonderful Wonky Widget Warehouse


At 1.40 am this morning I was still awake, listening to the pounding of
the record player and the yapping of the television in the upstairs
flat.  This for the third night in a row.  What with the likely
termination of my contract, my closest friend taking to drink and
suffering internal pain and florid paranoia, and losing my only decent
fountain pen I was at my wits' end.  I'd already asked the Police to
deal with the nuisance, and when they failed I'd sent for Environmental
Health.  They, too, had proved ineffective.  I was desperate. 

At 1.50am I picked up the phone and rang the Samaritans, thinking that
if I was going to burst into tears I might as well do it where someone
could see me and offer sympathy. 

The number was engaged.

desperately, Ken Johnson



-- 
Son, all the pretty, intelligent,      || Ken Johnson                           healthy young women are taken.         || A I Applications Institute
It's a basic rule of the universe,     || 80 South Bridge                       and if you don't like it,              || Edinburgh,  Scotland   EH1 1HN
go somewhere else.                     || Phone 031-650 2756   Fax 031-650 6513
               -- my dad  1906-1992    || E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: "A.J. Janschewitz" <p00258@psilink.com>
Subject: Re: INTERESTING RABBIT FACT #1
Organization: Performance Systems Int'l
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 01:39:04 GMT
X-Mailer: PSILink-DOS (3.3)

>	HAW!@ I GET IT!#$% YOU HATE RUSH!!! YOU'RE REALLY A PINKO COMMIE
>FAGGOT!@@# 
>			DIE RAT BASTARD!!@@@!
>
>--
>			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
>			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1

Try decaf next time, turk.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: waterman@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (T.S. Waterman)
Subject: Re: snow, snow, and more snow
Reply-To: waterman@cs.brandeis.edu
Organization: CAVEAT Labs, Inc.
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 20:57:33 GMT

gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston) writes:

>| jon@zeus.med.utah.edu (Jonathan Byrd) writes:
>|>We quickly fastened our powder straps, and
>|>headed off the exposed mountain top.

Fuck you.  It rained like hell here yesterday.
But I'll be at Bachelor next week.  As long as Finerty stays away
from Oregon, I'm set.

>I have some skis. Two pair. They're apparently German made (one
> [...]
>They're made of laminated wood. Nobody I've spoken to can remember
>the last time they saw wood skis. I figure they're about 30 years
>old, maybe more.

I have wood skis. 

Rossi Strato's.  2 meter slabs of concrete, with an edge.
very nice if you like to watch the trees blue-shift.

And they're older than half the lot of you.


--ts	my other skis are german.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gaillard@panix.com (Ed Gaillard)
Subject: Re: CFV: alt.nuke.colorado
Organization: Radio Free Hades
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 05:38:53 GMT

In <1993Jan10.151101.1@vax1.mankato.msus.edu>
skuff@vax1.mankato.msus.edu writes: 

>In article <1ii23mINN2ks@news.aero.org>, 
>robert@aero.org (R. S. Statsinger) writes: 
>> I have no joke here, I just like the idea of Fascist Christian
>> Homophobes being reduced to high-energy plasma.
>> 
>> 			R.S.
>> 
>> 
>Sounds like fun to me. Any one have some plutonium, and know how to
>build one?

Skuff had been happy that morning when UPS delivered his Fascist
Christian Homophobe Kit.  It was just what he always wanted, and
besides, he needed a replacement for his worn out Inflatable Hate
Doll.

He set to work. He carefully followed the manufacturer's detailed
instructions, and assembly went smoothly.  Skuff marveled at the
Theologic Circuit boards as he installed them in the creature's brain.
How cleverly they were designed! The Fascist Christian Homophobe
would recognize no argument from logic, philosophy, or even
common-sense, but only the authority of the Bible, and only his own
twisted interpretation of the Book.  Skuff could hardly wait to play
with it.

After just a few hours, the creature was nearly complete; Skuff read
the final page of the instructions, "Connecting the Plutonium Power
Cells".

Plutonium power cells?

Skuff rummaged through the packing materials.  No "power cells".  He
re-read the instructions. There was an asterisk at the end of one
sentence, but where was the footnote?  He noticed a smudge at the
bottom of the page, and examined it under his microscope.

"Plutonium Power Cells not included.  Be advised that these cells
cannot be obtained without a special permit from the Department of
Defense."

Skuff wasn't happy anymore.

"Damn!" he said, smacking his fist into his doughy palm with a sound
like a five-pound bag of turkey guano dropped from 12 feet.  "The DoD
will never give me a permit!  How am I gonna get this thing running?"

He tried.  Conventional batteries were useless, of course.  He
contacted the local covens and Satanist cults, but none was willing to
animate a Fascist Christian Homophobe, even when Skuff offered to let
them torture and ritually sacrifice it when he was through with it.
(Although he had really hoped to reduce it to high-energy plasma
himself.)

Finally, when almost in despair, he remembered the mansion, which had
been returned to his family after the fall of the Romanian government.
The report on it had said that his great-great-granduncle's laboratory
was still there, all its experimental equipment intact.  Yes, thought
Skuff, *that* will do the trick.  He smiled thinly as he picked up the
phone to book a flight.

Fortunately, I have already tipped off the local citizenry about his
arrival.  They're stockpiling torches and sharpening their pitchforks.

-ed g. 
Another fine product from X Industries?
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bur@ultisol.gsfc.nasa.gov (MAC)
Subject: Re: To everyone who sent Margaret a card.
Organization: NASA/GSFC code 923
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 19:57:28 GMT

In article <1ice40INN7c9@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>
>My most profound appreciation.
>She was thrilled by all the cards.
>As a bonus, her mom was a little disturbed by it all.
>Especially since Margaret made her tape them all on her bedroom wall and
>refuses to let her take them down.
>
>rp -- "Mommy, those are *MY* cards!"



Damn!  I knew I forgot something!  When is her birthday, rp?


M - "I'll make it up to you sweetheart...promise"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell)
Subject: DRINK IT ALL: One Awesome Calorie
Organization: Cold Spring Harbor Labs
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 17:45:36 GMT

(shudder)

I prefer not to be penetrated by my beverages.

-T

Next year's coke can: "SWALLOW: One Awesome Calorie"

-- 
Tom Boutell, boutell@cshl.org

Clausthaler is the best non - alcoholic beer in the known universe.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: adams@isis.cshl.org (Chris Adams)
Subject: um...did I hear you correctly?
Organization: Cold Spring Harbor Labs
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 21:09:07 GMT


"wow...if we added some semen to the 
menstrual blood on the candle, then 
we could burn it and it would be a 
really good ritual"


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: marcia@rap.ucar.edu (Marcia Politovich)
Subject: Re: dilemma
Organization: NCAR, Research Application Program
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 03:47:59 GMT

In article <43161@sdcc12.ucsd.edu> cs199aa@sdcc5.ucsd.edu (Mark Fletcher) writes:
>Ok, it's dinner time and I'm getting hungry but I can't decide what
>to eat. Maybe you can help.
>
>My options are :
>
>1) Get take out from a fast-food place
>2) Eat the pasta I bought the other day
>3) Have a couple ice cream sandwiches and forget about dinner
>
>Thank you for your help.
>
>mark
>
>
 sounds like "baby a la Donner" time to me...
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Date: 13 Jan 1993 01:24:06 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
Distribution: talk
NNTP-Posting-Host: stealth.intel.com

In article <schnitzi.726862495@eola.cs.ucf.edu> schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius) writes:
>Sometimes I buy the pound cake or the carrot cake
>out of the snack machine, just to get at the
>yummy Dolly Madison Bear Claw behind it.

I take it you weigh something over six quatloos...

				--Blair
				  "And cause problems for asphalt
				   on the route to work..."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: awells@lynx.dac.northeastern.edu (Andrew V. Wells)
Subject: talk.nope.nope.
Keywords: yep
Organization: Northeastern University
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 22:27:14 GMT

well, what was that last gooley posting called? it was the 
best. wish i could read 'em all. i save most of 'em tho.
hope that's not a copy rite violation.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Subject: Re: Bob
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 23:25:44 GMT



In article <1i6nquINN5li@rave.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:

   In article <C095Iu.5Io@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM> jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
   >
   >What, no talk-in frequency?

   We monitor 28.620 MHz continuously, but a fat lot of good that does most
   people.
   --scott
      (above 30 MHz is voodoo)


I was thinking that might *do* me a fat lot of good until I remembered
the W1OJ repeater is 2*9*.62.  Try that one sometime and you might
catch me sometime practicing voodoo on the 440 repeater that links the
transmitter to the reciever.

Still, I think a better way to communicate is to etch talk.bizarre
postings onto the moon using a powerful laser.

Or the Big Electric Cat.
From: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Dorsey's Party  NOT WHY ANIMAL OWNERS SHOULD BE SHOT ON SIGHT
Date: 11 Jan 93 12:24:37 GMT
Reply-To: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.

From oracle@cs.indiana.edu Sun Jan 10 21:01 GMT 1993
Return-Path: <oracle@cs.indiana.edu>
Received: from hpd.lut.ac.uk by hpb.lut.ac.uk (15.11/SMI-4.1)
	id AA26073; Sun, 10 Jan 93 21:01:52 gmt
Message-Id: <8912.9301102101@hpd.lut.ac.uk>
Received: from moose.cs.indiana.edu by hpd.lut.ac.uk; Sun, 10 Jan 93 21:01:49 gmt
Received: by moose.cs.indiana.edu
	(5.65c/9.4jsm) id AA14534; Sun, 10 Jan 1993 16:02:02 -0500
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 16:02:02 -0500
From: "The Usenet Oracle" <oracle@cs.indiana.edu>
Subject: The Oracle replies!
To: Lloyd Wood <L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk>
X-Face: "9e\S&XFxP?L)~?^jbHC!$jk5#O}v\n#nwz8'd$#(H,+B4n<^{GSCr,![PCrQOV1
	nW{vh|Ev<)b!y?'?aysJ)3YJ_/sOl@a'lKaG,uk|Xh3mR+xa]XJ!$vqAjQ<tojW#
	]quLb@%@3Q4x$T4SxS;ze<\0dr:/_y`dM.xMmR^I5/>e?.nst;0/"u?M2K~rC6k~
	|)'uWrn%alJW'QwwJJ441kc,m.C!?:EP49(<G'0X+G|1PO'r-@Ku%)CHLT(BYjS0
	,pM$aEB}z2PL!ixK{xr\9{}:V?&YZ>+
X-Planation: X-Face can be viewed with "faces".
	From the cs.indiana.edu ftp archive today.
Status: RO

!!! The Oracle's question queue is getting rather full.  Help speed
!!! things up for everyone and do askme's instead of tellme's.

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oh oracle sublime, oh oracle divine....
> tell me, please tell me.....
> 
> what are the correct directions to get to scott dorsey's talk.bizarre party?
> 
> Oh humbly,
> 
> an oracle acolyte seeking priesthood and minor t.b net.god

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number.
} 
} Please deposit 25 cents.
From: robert@aero.org (R. S. Statsinger)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Snot Semble Concarne
Date: 7 Jan 1993 00:59:51 GMT
Organization: Your Guess Is As Good As Mine...
NNTP-Posting-Host: halcyon.aero.org

In article <gj156879.726364147@cunews> gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879) writes:
|I got a small plush moose doll for Christmas.  I named him Bachus.  My
|girlfriend likes to put him down her shirt, between her breasts.

Perhaps she's trying to tell you something......

			R.S.
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Updated BoB posting
Date: 9 Jan 1993 00:41:59 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <C0K7A7.A11@phage.cshl.org> pjm@isis.cshl.org (Pat Monardo) writes:
>would someone actually go to a party by simply following travel
>instructions posted on t.b? i think not. please get REAL
>instructions from the Usenet Oracle.

Trust me, you want to follow the directions.  The last time I got directions
from the Usenet oracle, I had real problems following them.  The bottle marked
"Eat Me" was okay, but the caterpillar wouldn't give me a toke.
--scott
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Changing standards of female beauty (Is: the empowerment of women)
Date: 6 Jan 93 14:39:49 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test
Organization: William's Wonderful Wonky Widget Warehouse


In article <27646@sybase.sybase.com> black@lester.sybase.com (Chris
Black) writes:

#  Many women work in jobs where they have no choice but to wear make-up,
#  impractical shoes, impractical clothes, etc. 


T.V. announcers, for example.


-- 
Son, all the pretty, intelligent,      || Ken Johnson                           healthy young women are taken.         || A I Applications Institute
It's a basic rule of the universe,     || 80 South Bridge                       and if you don't like it,              || Edinburgh,  Scotland   EH1 1HN
go somewhere else.                     || Phone 031-650 2756   Fax 031-650 6513
               -- my dad  1906-1992    || E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Re: Xmas report
Date: Fri, 08 Jan 93 19:23:15 EST
Organization: Zantop World Airways

In article <1ihjlfINN48g@rave.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
>It is good to know that the Underwood Typewriter Company also made M-1
>rifles, because they manufactured the primary weapon of the cold war.

Actually, just about everybody made M-1 carbines during the war, it seems.
The ones collectors really go gaga over were made by Rock-Ola, who apparently
suspended manufacture of jukeboxes during the war, but not for very long,
so their production run of M-1s was rather small.

ljd
From: meats_s@lincoln.gpsemi.com. (I Look Like Ben Elton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Headphones For Fish 2
Date: 11 Jan 93 13:18:18 GMT
Organization: Headphones For Fish P.L.C.
X-Xxmessage-Id: <A77736389002709C@mac_ldc6.lincoln.gpsemi.com>
X-Xxdate: Mon, 11 Jan 93 14:35:36 GMT
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d12

There is no part 2
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Subject: Re: Updated BoB posting
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 00:17:18 GMT



In article <1993Jan9.163545.11188@vax.oxford.ac.uk> reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:

   Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620
                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
POT!

   In article <1il314INN3k7@rave.larc.nasa.gov>, kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
   > An East Coast Bob party is taking place on Feb 13 at the home of Scott

KETTLE!

   How incredibly sad.  Wouldn't it be far, far more poetic to NEVER have
   one of these depressingly anti-climactic get-togethers and to live in
   love, expectation and ignorance of other t.bers by having no contact other
   than through the net?  I mean, aren't you taking the celebration of trash
   culture a little too far?

*plonk*

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: Stupid Marketing Tricks
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 20:56:51 GMT

In article <76212@apple.apple.COM> bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre) writes:
>Crystal Pepsi was underwriting First Night in Boston.
>So check this out:
>   NO caffeine
>   NO sugar
>   NO caramel coloring

You mean NO BUG JUICE

I love it, tho i am distressed to see the no caffeine no sugar nazis
rear their ugly heads again


>What's next? Gossamer Pepsi with nothing but pure distilled water?

Shit, man, perrier has been selling water for high prices for years, no
reason why Pepsi, Co-Owner of the World, cant start too.

Challenge: name a major corporation that is not:

1) an oil co
2) a car co
3) owned by either coke or pepsi
From: robert@aero.org (R. S. Statsinger)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Cats That Eat Paint
Date: 5 Jan 1993 01:52:37 GMT
Organization: Your Guess Is As Good As Mine...
NNTP-Posting-Host: uniblab.aero.org

In article <gj156879.726196754@cunews> gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879) writes:
|This is true.  What we need to do then is find employment for my cats
|so they can pay for the goddam things themselves.  What kind of work
|could a cat do though, besides sit, meow, and be pathetic?  We already
|have several pop singers that do that quite well enough as it is.

My cat, Buck, is Professor Emeritus of Ornithology at a major University.
He does quite well, thank you......

			R.S.