Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Sat, 26 Sep 1992 20:33:55 EDT
From:         "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Subject:      way to go

Roger Mudd: Mr. President, just what if anything did you mean by 'The colleges
and universities of this nation have become a breeding ground for VAXes of
every description....
********* TTV INTERRUPTS THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS CONFERENCE TO BRING YOU ********
********* THE GAME SHOW THE SPONSOR PAID FOR AT THIS TIME *********************
THIS TELEVISION NETWORK
a LISTSERVice of UBVM and many other fine stations
       PRESENTS
    YOUR BEST SHOT
-----------------------
Voiceover: The hottest, the coolest, syndicated
pornogameshow the Syndicate has ever
put into syndication! And here are our co-hosts,
Cal Pryluck, Professor of Radio, TV, and Film Studies at Temple University,
Phiadelphia PA, you see him daily on HISTORY@UBVM, our sister station....

Pryluck: I am strictly here for the publicity.

Voiceover: and sbasgall@vaxa,weeg.uiowa.edu JUST got that doctoral degree from
the University of Farmstate, scene of massive immigration from Akademgorod in
the former Commonwealth of Independent States, so Akademgorod, Farmstate, big
improvement over whatever boring Thingie it was before, is where Ms, *Doctor*!
Basgall hails and farewells from, at least since she joined the show. You know
Sandra Basgall from WORLD@UBVM and ANTHRO-L@UBVM....

Basgall: So thrilled, WEEG just had six kittens. Now here's the star of our
show, AMERICA'S SWEETHEART, the woman who's singlehandedly caused *more
feminist theory* in two months than came out since the *Second Wave*, won'tcha
wave to the studio audience? <cheers> The woman on account of whom, by her
lonesome, we had to *sink* Carol Gilligan's Island!

I give you...

***** *****    AMY FISHER    ***** *****    !!!

Amy: I'm *out*, cuz, you know, I *missed*, and didn't rack up the kill, they
gonna give me time if, and only if, I wasted, blew away, you know,
killkillkilled a non consenting adult, which don't apply here, we only got
*consenting* adults. OK, you three guys, put yer X on yer copy of the Informed
Consent Form what makes you an Official Consenting Adult.

<klik> Now U skuo the clip into my piece, you know the rules, clothes off,
the three of ya, rules is, one of you suicidal bastards who does a Thingie to
my body that sends my soul to, you know, *no return*, at the end of the show
is an *instant winner* cuz I'll feel such gratitude and compassion I'll *blow
yer head clean off*!

<zip> Nobody does it, I pick the semifinalist and at the *next* round ya
just might getcher round!

<swsh> Here, I slipped my slip...

Let's play YOUR BEST SHOT
-------------------------
but first, this message
--------------------------
...so three of us went up there, needing death, needing it *bad*, Joe Provo,
Dana "Felonious Cube" Rollins, and, this is the most totally unreal thing in
the history of competition, Daniel A. Foss, a maximum of one of whom was gonna
take the Big Prize. What I knew, and the studio audience didn't, was how, you
know, *unpredictable* in the clutch in such matters LSD is, which is what if
they have got any habits at all, being flaked off on acid is ahead of staring
at fingernails watching the growing thereof, and I had sufficient orange pills
from Dr A to [deleted] for two solid days thanks to holy books of the nei tan
school of Daoism from kid sister Miriam, a little mind control, and vitamin E.
But as Lyndon Baines Johnson once said, "The Great Society asks, not How Much,
but, How Good."

Daniel A. Foss
TTN@UBVM Television News, Long Island
Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU