From: ecameron@orach.mrc.unm.edu ()
Newsgroups: alt.tv.mst3k
Subject: TONIGHT ONLY!
Date: 24 Jan 1993 06:19:18 GMT
Organization: University of Idaho, Moscow--NOT
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: orach.mrc.unm.edu


Well, here it is...

                           The SOL Community Theater
                                Sings hits from
                                   "HIRED!"
                                  featuring
                                 Mort Cambot
                                   and his
                                  orchestra


TCG:  (He's hired, he's hired, he's hired, he's hired).
  J:  I'm hired. 
TCG:  (He's hired).
  J:  I hope I don't get fired. 
TCG:  (He's hired).
  J:  In forty years I'll be retired.
      But for now, I'm simply hired.
TCG:  (He's hired, he's hired, he's hired, he's hired).
  J:  I got a job today.
TCG:  (He's hired).
  J:  I'm selling Chevrolets.
TCG:  (He's hired).
  J:  I'm bringing home good pay.
TCG:  (He's hired).
  J:  I just got hired.
TCG:  (He's hired, he's hired, he's hired, he's hired).
      (He got a job today).
  J:  Yeah, me!
TCG:  (He's selling Chevrolets).
  J:  We're gonna get awnings.
TCG:  He's bringing home good pay).
  J:  Maybe even dessert.
      I just got hired.  (He just got hired).
ALL:  HIRED!

-----

<Knock, knock, knock>
  J:  I was wondering if you'd like to see my...
  G:  No!
  J:  But I really think you should see my...
  T:  No!
  J:  It's got a lovely...
  G:  No!
  J:  And if only you would...
  C:  No!
TCG:  Can't you see we're trying to tell you no!

-----

T:  (Ahh).  Zero's, zero's.  None of my salesmen has ever 
    sold a car.  (Ohh).
    Sometimes I think I might be pushing them too far.
    I think I'll hit the bar.
    And try to get my mind off zero's.
G:  (Zero's).
T:  Zero's.
G:  (Zero's).
T:  All of my salesmen a-r-e zero's.  (Aah).

-----

C:  Good evening, sonny.
T:  Hi, dad.
C:  You look depressed.
T:  I am.
G:  Come on and have some lemonade.
T:  Thanks, mom, but that won't help.
C:  Just get it off your chest.
T:  OK.  <MUSIC SPEEDS UP>  I suck at my job.
C:  No, you don't.
T:  Yes, I do.
G:  (Oh, my).
T:  My salesmen are slobs.
C:  No, they aren't.
T:  Yes, they do.
G:  (Ohh).
T:  I'd like to make a sell, but what can I do?  
    I'm gonna be a failure just like you, dad.
C:  Like me?
T:  That's right, I'll be a failure just like y-o-u!
C:  (Now, frikl...so...).

-----

  J:  Extry, extry, read all about it.
      Pearl Harbor bombed.
      Roosevelt declares war.
  T:  Well, that's it!
  C:  What's it?
  T:  Uncle Sam's gonna need cars.  Why, selling Chevrolets 
      is gonna help the war effort.  Don't ya see, Dad?  
      Come on everybody!
ALL:  S-e-e the U-S-A in the...
  J:  We got Commercial Sign.  <random oh's and uh's>.
  T:  (For crying out loud...).
  C:  (What's the point...).
  J:  (Commercial sign).


Well, what do you think, Sirs?



---
AMANDA            -ecameron@groucho.mrc.unm.edu
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