From: gws6860@tamsun.tamu.edu (Gary Wayne 'Goober' Smith)
Subject: Re: BYU - America's Most Hated Team???
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Distribution: usa
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 20:18:04 GMT

In article <19508@ector.cs.purdue.edu> sjc@cs.purdue.EDU (Steve Chapin) writes:
>}} In article <15244@borg.cs.unc.edu> morse@satie.cs.unc.edu (Bryan Morse) writes:
>}} Sadly, there are Mormons who are racist.  There are also Mormons who are
>}} elitist (even among other Mormons) and do indeed have a "holier than thou"
>}} attitude.  Yes, there are even those who think that a win by the BYU 
>}} football team is a sign from God.  But this shouldn't be misconstrued as
>}} the beliefs of the school, the church, or of other individuals.  The
>}} same thing can be said of Catholics, Aggies, Boilerweenies, and Goobers.
>
>What?  I wrote the Boilerweenie Handbook ($19.95 from a Waldenbooks
>near you), and nowhere in it do I say that a BYU win is a sign from
>God.  Purdue thrashing Cal, maybe.  Or did you mean that the beliefs
>of the Boilerweenies shouldn't be misconstrued as official Mormon
>doctrine?
>
>This is all so confusing.  I'll have to ask my good friend goober to
>explain this to me.


I'm confused myself.  Obviously Bryan has not read the Goober Handbook.
If he had, he would have found that on page 4 it specifically states that
The Goober School for the Clueless is God's favorite school.  Because we
don't have organized sporting events other than team usenet posting,
he does root for other schools in sports.  Because we are his favorite
school, I had the opportunity to interview God this morning for the next 
issue of Goober Today.  Here is an early printing of that interview.

Goober: Mr. God...
God:    Oh please, Mr. Goober, just call me God.
Goober: Sure, God.  And please feel free to refer to me as
        His Royal Highness, the Supreme Goober.  That or just plain Goober.
        As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted...God, some
        say that you hold certain schools dear to your heart and that
        you provide a guiding hand to their winning.  Is this true.
God:    Sure I support some teams.  But you would be suprised at who I really 
        root for.  Not those Catholics or Mormons, that's for sure.
Goober: Suprising.  Can you give an example of who you do root for.
God:    Purdue.
Goober: But God, Purdue is usually one of the worst teams in Football.
God:    I didn't say I helped them.  I just root for them.
Goober: Now come on God.  Are you trying to tell me that you had absolutely
        nothing to do with Purdue's thrashing of Cal yesterday?
God:    Well, maybe just a little.
Goober: I bet.  And BYU losing...any comment on that game.
God:    I like that Faulk fellow.  I'd like to see him win the Heisman.
Goober: And did you have anything to do with those 299 yards?
God:    Maybe a block or too.  God, err Me, I love nailing those BYU
        guys.  Anybody remember that Holiday Bowl a couple of years ago?
        Those Aggies are looking good.  I like them too.
Goober: That's good to hear.  Although the Goober School is not directly
        associated with A&M, I do follow A&M sports.
God:    Yeah, I know.  I know everything, ya know.
Goober: Yeah, I know.  Also, another team that seems to claim your
        support is Notre Dame.  Any comment there.
God:    No, not really.  I don't really like them.  I used to hate them.
        I picked that Faust fellow out, ya know.  Jesus seems to like them,
        but probably only because they put that big Touchdown Jesus thing
        up.  He's pretty vain.
Goober: Interesting.  Did you see the end of the Michigan-Notre Dame game
        yesterday?
God:    Yes.  I see everything, ya know.
Goober: Any comment on that strange ending?
God:    That pass in the closing seconds that Notre Dame picked off...
Goober: You did that?
God:    No, but Jesus did.
Goober: Ahh, and why didn't Notre Dame go for the win?  
God:    Well, like I said, I don't like Notre Dame.  I told Jesus to go 
        to his room and I made Lou call those clock-eating runs.  Kinda the 
        same thing happened last year in the Tennessee-Notre Dame game.  While 
        I wasn't paying attention, Jesus was helping Notre Dame to a big 
        halftime lead.  I gave Jesus a sound butt spanking for that and helped 
        Tennessee to a come-from-behind win.  That boy is always in trouble.  
Goober: Well, it's been great talking to you God.
God:    Thanks, and it's been even greater talking to you Goober.


Well, there you have it folks.  The true story of God and football.


- goober (hot-line to god) smith