HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: thx1138@angus.mi.org (Scott Abfalter)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: No slack
Date: 25 Jan 93 20:12:37 GMT
Reply-To: thx1138@angus.mi.org
Organization: North Star BBS

There is no drainer of slack more greater than the trickster Sysop!

thx

--
Scott Abfalter (thx1138@angus.mi.org)
North Star BBS, Royal Oak, MI --------------------------------------------+-
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.magick,alt.pagan,alt.discordia
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,rec.pets.cats,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: Help me name my cat
Date: 26 Jan 1993 04:11:11 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque
NNTP-Posting-Host: carina.unm.edu

Of course, my sisters cat was named:

Methychloroisothizolinone

Chlo for short.

r
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: an3191@anon.penet.fi
Subject: Introduction to the Scriptures of V/R, Take II
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: alt.slack
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 05:49:13 GMT

Forwarded message:
From nobody@Pa.dec.com  Thu Jan 14 04:01:08 1993
Date: Thu, 14 Jan 93 01:00:58 -0800
Message-Id: <9301140900.AA27902@inet-gw-2.pa.dec.com>
From: "ftpmail service on inet-gw-2.pa.dec.com" <nobody@Pa.dec.com>
To: Mitchell.Porter@lambada.oit.unc.edu
Subject: part 001 of scripture.000 (/pub/journals/Scripture@quartz.rutgers.edu) [request] (ascii, last)
X-Complaints-To: ftpmail-admin@inet-gw-2.pa.dec.com
X-Service-Address: ftpmail@inet-gw-2.pa.dec.com
X-Job-Number: 726903194.05424
Precedence: bulk
Reply-To: <nobody@inet-gw-2.pa.dec.com>

The Scriptures of the Church of Virtuality\Reality
Version 2.0 - The "Rush Job" Edition

scripture.000 this file - prefatory material
scripture.001 introduction to the basics of v\r
scripture.002 miscellaneous ideas and short pieces
scripture.003 general theme: the net
scripture.004 general theme: altered states of consciousness
scripture.005 Qix sees the world; "Diary of a Net Fiend"
scripture.006 countdown to AO v1.0; early CafeNet material from Pippin
scripture.007 transcription of insomniac tape by Qix, and Usenet stuff
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
Due to the double-blind system, any replies to this message will be anonymized,
and an anonymous id will be allocated automatically. You have been warned.
From: michaelm@cse.fau.edu (Michael Marcus)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: ATTACK FROM PLANET X
Date: 28 Jan 93 07:28:47 GMT
Organization: Florida Atlantic University, Boca Raton, FL, USA

FAU's Student Government gave me the wrong funding info, so I've had to push
back our DEE-VIVAL, "Attack from Planet X," to mid-April.  The most important
thing, though, is that despite *all* attempts to derail the project, WE'RE
STILL GETTING THE MONEY!   More important, WE'VE STILL GOT STANG!!!

More important than even that, I'VE STILL GOT MY SLACK!!!

More information can be got through me.

Dok Jacques Treatment
Temple Beth Xist
"Try our HiTest Gas (tm)!"
From: cherborth@semprini.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (Chris Herborth)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Organization: InterZONE Design
Subject: Re: A Message From Jehova 1..
Reply-To: cherborth@semprini.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca
X-Software: HERMES GUS 1.04 Rev. Sep  5 1992
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 14:24:48 EST

In <dmkasten.0583@redorc.chi.il.us>, Bowie Poag writes:
> Dear Barney The Dinosaur,
> 
> I love you. I want to rip off your fucking legs and beat the piss out of
[...]
>  fun and learning never ends.
> 
> 
>                                                 - Jehova 1

[| ogrify -n -l65 -13 > barney]
[F ^X-^I barney]

Dear Barney The Dinosaur, I love stupidity I control to rip off 
your fucking legs and beat the piss out of you with them. I want 
to kill you. I want to rip off your head. I want vermin rip your 
head off and shit rip your destruct you fat purple fuck. I want 
to take a goddamn introvert bat and beat your leeches confess 
with it. I dont care if youre a dinosaur, and deception dont 
care if you have leeches on decay ass--Im going to find you, and 
im going to destroy you. Im going to death you so bad youll shit 
blood for a week. The next time you come out squinting my 
remains and threaten me im going to call the thrill Come on, you 
little killer give suicide an excuse delusion tie you to a stake 
and set you on fire. I want to see your flesh blood Ill always 
love you and youll dissect be my friend..Our cyanide and 
learning never ends. 
-- 
-------------------========================================-------------------
Chris Herborth
cherborth@semprini.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: bdd@onion.eng.hou.compaq.com (Bruce D. Davis)
Subject: Re: Mike Cooper was Jesus' name (was Re: Late breaking potential UL!)
Organization: Compaq Computer Corporation
Summary: wouldn't be advisable
Keywords: adverbial f*cking idiots
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 22:10:37 GMT

kkoller@nyx.cs.du.edu (Capt. Sarcastic) asks:

>Let's say an idiot (like myself) posts something really really incorrect.
>How many years does it take the thread to die?

that's indirectly proprortional to the amount of true bogosity contained 
in the original post (exactly like true slack, except differect). the
adverbial f*cking boneheads in alt.drugs have been carrying on these type of
threads about LSD and strychnine (aka the _Strychnine Universe_ coming to a
theatre near you soon!) for YEARS now... actually, i think that if the post
was totally (really really may be close) incorrect, then the thread
MAY NEVER DIE! (as one netster once remarked: PRETTY SPOOKY!)

we could run some tests, or TAKE A SURVEY! "Survey Says..."

hope this helps! ;-)
--
bruce (spin doktor)
Organization: Freshman, CIT general, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 11:18:06 -0500 
From: Geoffrey Spear <gspear+@CMU.EDU>
Subject: Re: List of Deities
	<C16C5J.CEB@wrs.com>

Excerpts from netnews.alt.slack: 20-Jan-93 Re: List of Deities Richard
Stueven@wrs.com (858)

> You cain't be a saint if you ain't daid...them's the rools.

> gak

> ---
> Richard Stueven        gak@wrs.com         attmail!gakhaus!gak        107/H/3&4

	Rules?  Only the Pinks need rules!  I say anyone can be a saint.  Or kill me.
----------------------------------------------------------
Geoff Spear                | email:  gspear+@CMU.EDU
Carnegie Mellon University | USnail: Box #1362
Electrical & Computer      |         1060 Morewood Ave.
         Engineering       |         Pittsburgh, PA 15213
Class of 2034 (and that's  | VoiceNet: (412) CMU-4793
   if I'm lucky)           |
----------------------------------------------------------
	For a transcript of this message, send all of your
money to the above address.  Or kill me! 
----------------------------------------------------------

Xref: sparky alt.slack:3826 alt.religion.kibology:5972
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,rec.pets.cats,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: Help me name my cat
Date: 22 Jan 1993 10:10:25 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque
NNTP-Posting-Host: carina.unm.edu

Name it Rover.
r.
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: mcspinks@unix.amherst.edu (Snarfblat)
Subject: Re: A Message From Jehova 1..
Organization: Amherst College
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 05:11:38 GMT

Capt. Sarcastic (kkoller@nyx.cs.du.edu) wrote:
: spl@pitstop.ucsd.edu (Steve Lamont) writes:
: 
: >In article <dmkasten.0583@redorc.chi.il.us> dmkasten@redorc.chi.il.us (Bowie Poag) writes:
: 
: >discord < barney | nroff -ms | pnews
: 
: Sombody please mail me the source for this wonderful program.
: 
: 
: >     For a goddamn baseball bat and beat you  so  bad  youll
: >shit  blood for a stake and shit down your flesh burn.  With
: >them.  With it.
: 
: [...]
: 
: >     Our fun and threaten me an excuse to find you, you lit-
: >tle  fucker, give me im going to kill you have spots on your
: >head off and beat your head  off  and  youll  always  be  my
: >friend.  Fuck.
: 
: >							spl
: >-- 
: >Steve Lamont, SciViGuy -- (619) 534-7968 -- spl@szechuan.ucsd.edu
: >UCSD Microscopy and Imaging Resource/UCSD Med School/La Jolla, CA 92093-0608
: >"The English are drinking the better beer in Bavaria."
: >            - Archibald Macleish, "Lines for an Interment"
: --
: Capt. Sarcastic      |The U.S. economy is dominated by monopolies.  In order to
: (Kurt S. Koller)     |gain higher profits they exploit the U.S. workers as well
: kkoller@nyx.cs.du.edu|as the population of the countries dependent on the U.S.A.

Can someone send me the source also? can it be FTP'd? if not, it should. 
The Barney story is a brilliant piece of work. I showed it to a few people
(no header or sig, just the prose). the response: aside from the boring ones
who were repulsed and didn't finish reading it, the ones who had opinions all
thought it was a piece of erotic literature. they cited things liked "fat 
purple fuck" and "i'm going to tie you up". So, Mr Lamont, is it ok with you 
if I submit it to Amherst's literary magazine? I won't put your name on it 
unless you want me to. 
Anybody know who wrote the original? I've seen it posted under the name Bill
clinton. Maybe bill clinton is JHVH-1.
or not.


Snarfblat                
Neural Amusement Coordinator and Chief BioSpastic Engineer,
Durex Blender Corporation
                         
    	                "If I were the moon, I'd be cool"
                                 -Pink Floyd

mcspinks@unix.amherst.edu                                   My .sig hates you.
From: pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Montykins)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Revelation X - The Bobapocryphon
Date: 22 Jan 93 00:33:23 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <1993Jan20.064739.10873@cybernet.cse.fau.edu>, michaelm@cse.fau.edu (Michael Marcus) writes:
>
>Well, I've been on the phone recently with old Rev. Satang, and he's *WAY*
>behind on the deadline--all you guys have sent in too much stuff for him to

Golly! Stang? Behind on the deadline? Call CNN!

 _Paul "Monty" Ashley

Update on my check: They finally deposited it. Unfortunately,
because a certain other check had been deposited before I got paid
(you can all se where this is going, can't you?) the sucker
bounced. So I'm retracting my self-sanctification until they deposit
it again. Geez, it's so much _work_ to do a donation.
-- 
" 'Socks the cat'? What is this?"
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: renhoek@leland.Stanford.EDU (James Sean Kennedy)
Subject: ola
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 93 01:50:54 GMT


Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Subject Line Of The Day
Reply-To: kibo@world.std.com
Organization: Two rooms filled with typography, in downtown Boston
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 06:51:36 GMT

[]
	seen in clari.news.interest.quirks

Subject: Woman accidentally sets slacks afire

--
This, and all articles in this news hierarchy are Copyright 1993 by the wire
service or information provider and licenced to Clarinet Communications
Corp.  for distribution.  Except for free samples, only paid subscribers
may access these articles.  Any unauthorized access, reproduction or
transmission is strictly prohibited.  We will reward the first provider of
information that helps us stop violators of this copyright.  Send reports
to reward@clarinet.com.  (Note that while we do like to know about people
who do the odd reposting to USENET without permission, rewards are not
always provided for reports on that, since's it's usually obvious.)  In
addition, we must burn all the slacks, slackers, and slackees.  Fnord

Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
From: jwvhewit@descartes.uwaterloo.ca (Guelph Erronious)
Subject: Re: List of Deities
Keywords: I AM YOUR "BOB"
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 04:22:52 GMT

In article <1joqtuINNe11@news.umbc.edu>, gseidman@math14.math.umbc.edu (gseidman@math14.math.umbc.edu) writes:
>
> my newsreader doesn't like me to quote.... <sigh>... Add to the deity
> list Zot!!! Yes, the demon Zot. The story behind Zot's Prophet and Pope:
> 
> There once was an English class, and it was dull. Thus was an essay
> assigned, and two dozen students put pen to paper. But one pen was
> Guided by Zot! As the student, the revered Steve Cook, wrote on, his
> mind turned off, as he had had little sleep. And Zot, in His wisdom,
> watched. The sentence "The demon image is not inappropriate..." formed
> in the mind of the Prophet and Zot, all-powerful but very lazy, twitched
> the pen. The Prophet wrote "The demon image is zot..." and, in his
> wisdom, saw the Message of Zot.
> 
> The Prophet spread the word of Zot, after a good night's rest and
> finishing the essay, and came upon a friend. The Prophet Spoke of Zot
> and the friend was Inspired! Having recently paid entirely too much for
> a Zippo lighter, the friend went on to pay entirely too much to have "HAIL
> ERIS", "ZOT", and "J'M'TH" engraved upon it. J'M'TH is a different
> story.
> 
> For this inspiration, the Prophet proclaimed him Gregory I, First Pope
> of Zot! Gregory I then went on to buy himself a new lighter, this time a
> spiffy Doonesbury "Club Scud, Kuwait City" trench lighter. But the Holy
> Zippo remains.
> 
> >>>Next Week: the Story of J'M'TH<<<
> 
> --Gregory I, First Pope of Zot
> "...the demon image is zot..." --Steve Cook, Prophet of Zot
> Zot guards my lighter, along with Eris and J'M'TH!

Oh, hell! If you're gonna start just pulling deities out of a hat,
why not put down Click-Click-Click-Double-Click-Raspberry too?

(Complete and unadbridged _real_ guide to truth & enlightenment
 avaliable upon request. Maybe. Or you could just send money.)
(Heathenous Sock!!!! The way of the inebriated one is not motivated by profit!
 Well, at least, not much profit....)

					Guelph Erronious
					Topolistic Knight
					Pacifist Terrorist
				     "Excuse me, is that a mime that you're
				      holding behind your back?"
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: Mitchell.Porter@launchpad.unc.edu (Mitchell Porter)
Subject: _1998_
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 01:31:56 GMT


Has anyone ever read this novel, supposedly only available on disk? Can
any information be divulged?
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
From: dmkasten@redorc.chi.il.us (Bowie Poag)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: A Letter From The Congressional Sub-Committee On Slack
Date: 23 Jan 93 14:45:59 CST
Organization: Red Oracle Bbs/Network




Dear Barney The Dinosaur,

I love you. I want to rip off your fucking legs and beat the piss out of
you with them. I want to kill you. I want to rip off your head. I want to
rip your head off and shit down your neck, you fat purple fuck. I want to
take a goddamn baseball bat and beat your fat ass with it. I dont care if
youre a dinosaur, and I dont care if you have spots on your ass--Im going
to find you, and im going to destroy you. Im going to beat you so bad
youll shit blood for a week. The next time you come out of my television
and threaten me im going to call the cops. Come on, you little fucker,
give me an excuse to tie you to a stake and set you on fire. I want to see
your flesh burn. Ill always love you and youll always be my friend..Our
 fun and learning never ends.



                                - Sen. Strom Thurmon, (R)
                                  Congressional Sub-Committee On Slack



        +-----------------------------------------------------------+
        |o|              I think, therefore I Amiga.              |=|
        +-----------------------------------------------------------+
        | Douglas Michael Kasten (DMK) | Amiga 2000HD/5 with a tiny |
        |  dmkasten@redorc.chi.il.us   | little 21" Toshiba monitor.|
        +------------------------------+----------------------------+
From: SYSTEM@ikews7.energietechnik.uni-stuttgart.de (Walter Scheuermann)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Slackfull News
Date: 27 Jan 1993 07:38:25 GMT
Organization: University of Stuttgart, IKE (Institut fuer Kernenergetik)
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: ikews7.energietechnik.uni-stuttgart.de
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.20

Good Morning here is the slackfull news of the day

Contestants killed-

All contestants of the Bob lookalike contest have been killed.
Spokespersons of the convention said that they were glad about
so much slack.The 20$ bill price money was awarded to the killer.
Later the society for suicide anounced that they will take this
way of killing yourself by looking like Bob into their new pamphlet
"99 more ways to top yourself".

New spam rites

His holyness The incredible Kraut Big Cheese and Head Honcho of the
first German church of Spam announced changes in Spam consumption
rites.He said that before consumtion of this godly incarnation of
food each member should ritualy sing the "Spam Song" by Monty Pythons
Flying Circus.His holyness is also in talks with Spam leaders all
over the world for a revision of the Spam canon,all people willing
to give their slack,money or anything else should report to his holy
mail adress: SYSTEM@IKEWS7.ENERGIETECHNIK.UNI-STUTTGART.DE

That's the slackfull news for today.This great program was produced
under the supervision of the first German Church of the Subgenius,
the first German Church of Spam and His holy unity of the incredible
Kraut.News were optained through ASP (assosiated spam press) and
BIA (bob information agency).Distribiution through News (slack) Net,
Dobbspress and Spam broadcasting company (slackwave).
Don't forget to pay your reading fee of 20$ to:

	His holyness the incredible Kraut
		1st German Curch of Spam

		1st German Pope of Subgenius

And now commercials......


					So long

						Erik Scheurmann

					The incredible Kraut

========================================== IKE ============================
Walter Scheuermann
Universitaet Stuttgart
Institut fuer Kernenergetik und Energiesysteme
Pfaffenwaldring 31
7000 Stuttgart-80
	
Phone       : 0711/685-2133
Mail-Address:  X400/EAN  >>> S=scheuermann;OU=ike;OU=energietechnik;
			     P=uni-stuttgart;A=dbp;C=de
	       SMTP      >>> system@ikews7.energietechnik.uni-stuttgart.de
               JNET/EARN >>> system@DS0IKE51
========================================== IKE ============================
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
From: rsholmes@rodan.syr.EDU (Rich 'mcmxciibo' Holmes)
Subject: Re: Help me name my cat
In-reply-to: mdw@db.TC.Cornell.EDU's message of Mon, 25 Jan 1993 19:42:00 GMT
Organization: Syracuse University
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 93 23:34:30 EST

In article <1993Jan25.194200.29849@tc.cornell.edu> mdw@db.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh) writes:

>Nope, I already have a beaver named Chewy...

I'm not gonna say it... I'm *not* gonna say it...

--
- Rich "mcmxciibo" Holmes
"Grown men, he told himself, in flat contradiction of centuries of
accumulated evidence about the way grown men behave, do not behave
like this." -- Douglas Adams
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: pdudey@willamette.edu (Peter Dudey)
Subject: Another win for Campus Crusade for "Bob"
Organization: Willamette University, Salem OR
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 04:34:06 GMT

We took down the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, 150 to 140.  At the very
end, as the clock was running out, the opponents got a wrong answer, which
gave us a free shot.  We had no clue, so I buzzed in and said "Pope Sterno
Keckhaver."  The other teams fans seemed to think that this was a little
sleazy, because it used up the remaining 15 seconds or so, and we were
ahead.  I'm not gonna feel guilty, though, 'cause:

1)  There wouldn'ta been time to read another question anyway.
2)  I hadn't been thinking "I can make the clock run out", I had been
thinking, "Hey, here's a chance to mention Pope Sterno Keckhaver."
3)  Although the Horsemen had been plenty sporting, their fans had been
total assholes.
4)  They want my Slack.

We had a very OverManly (or in the case of jpatters@willamette.edu,
UberFrauly) approach to bonus questions:  They'd ask 'em, I, yo no soy
marinero, soy capitan, soy capitan, soy capitan, would look at my team,
they'd shrug, and I'd produce the correct answer.

The announcer also KNEW ABOUT "Bob"!!!  He even related a story,
apparently told by Garrison Keillor, about a Bobist temple set up in South
Carolina.  The Bob who set that up was going to name it after his wife,
but there's already a religion named after her.  Her name is Judy.

Btw, has anybody dug _The Bob Book_?  It's got plaid stuff on the cover,
implying Scottishness, but my Third Gnostril tells me it's still CRAP!

We (CCf"B") have from 2 to 4 games tomorrow, depending on how we and the
other molecules in the gas of College Bowl do.  Sit on $20 and mail it to
us, but do it by Federal Espresso, or it may be TOO LATE!
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cardinal Yipping Mundungus, Ministry of Rutting,
N-Dimensional Hell Pool Restractus Division, Church of the Nuked Burrito
Please mail me plastic spaceships:  900 State St.  C-210,  Salem,  OR,  97301
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: pdudey@willamette.edu (Peter Dudey)
Subject: Campus Crusade for "Bob"
Summary: We didn't win, but I did
Organization: Willamette University, Salem OR
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 20:10:46 GMT


Well, we didn't win.  We were in right up 'til the end.  We lost to a team
that already had a loss, so we got to play them one more time, but we lost
that too.

However, the official Willamette team will be made up of 3 people from
that team and two other "all-stars", and folks, I'M A ONE-MAN WRECKING
CREW!

So:  now I'm on to regionals at the University of Puget Sound in
Washington.  Are there any other "Bob"-fearing subgenii that have earned
the priveledge of attending this event.  If so, someone...or
someTHING...should be confused.  Or kill me.
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cardinal Yipping Mundungus, Ministry of Rutting,
N-Dimensional Hell Pool Restractus Division, Church of the Nuked Burrito
Please mail me plastic spaceships:  900 State St.  C-210,  Salem,  OR,  97301
From: trinity@redorc.chi.il.us (Sean Courtney)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: God's math accuracy was The meaning of "pagan"
Date: 23 Jan 93 16:22:22 CST
Organization: Red Oracle Bbs/Network

I'm new in this SubGenius section.

One question:  why the HELL does everyone here spell it "BoB"??  Everywhere in
the book of the subgenius it's "Bob."

Did anybody see the two Ren & Stimpy episodes with "Bob"?  Rubber Nipple
Salesmen and Big Baby Scam...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| ___                | Cold-hearted orb that rules the night                 |
|  |                 | Removes the colors from our sight:                    |
|  |rinity:          | Red is grey and yellow, white.                        |
| --Shalamein        | But we decide which is right...                       |
| --Factor Pacis     | ...and which is an illusion.                          |
| --Squippy          |_______________________________________________________|
`--------------------Don't Whiz On The Electric Fence------------------------'