From: alexa@county.lmt.mn.org (Alex Alexander)
Subject: Axl RIP Interview (1 of 3)
Organization: LaserMaster Technologies, Minneapolis, MN
Date: Wed, 4 Nov 92 13:53:12 GMT

Reposted from the (former) Guns N' Roses Mailing List:


AXL RIP INTERVIEW (PART 1 OF 3)

The phone rang. It was Blake, W. Axl Rose's personal assistant, asking if 
I'd be up for doing an interview with the elusive and controversial GNR 
vocalist. Even though I was deep into other projects, l was neither busy nor 
foolish enough to pass this gig up. Then Blake made an unusual request. 
Instead of chatting face to face, Axl wanted to do the interview over the 
phone. Unusual, but not a problem. A date and a time were set.

What follows is our marathon talk. Instead of a formal interview, it's more 
like you, the reader are being invited to listen in on a private 
conversation. l know Axl as well as anyone can know him. l proudly consider 
him a friend, but I'm not afraid to tell him what l feel or when l think 
he's being a jerk. No, l won't give you his number, but if you want to play 
along, sit by your phone for awhile tapping your foot (yes, he called late; 
love him or hate him, the man is consistent), imagine a ring and pick up the 
receiver...

---------------

RIP: This is kind of awkward, doing an interview on the phone.

AXL: You know one reason why l want to do it this way? Sometimes you and l 
say a lot heavier things on the phone than we do in person. So l thought 
this would be cool, especially because I'm trying to be private right now. l 
can do this in my own space and just talk.

RIP: I've got five 100-minute tapes, so we can go till we burn.

AXL: Alright.

RIP: Even as well as l know you, l still pick up magazines to see what is 
said about Guns N' Roses and, in particular, you. The last interviews of any 
substance were Kim Neely's pieces in Rolling Stone, but you're still in 
every single magazine. I'll be reading something that has absolutely nothing 
to do with GNR, and you'll be compared to Adolf Hitler or some other evil 
just to add fire to the writer's article.

AXL: I think there's a great fear of the unknown, and my new thing is, "I am 
the unknown."

RIP: Sounds like something Stephen King would say. Why are you the unknown, 
and have you purposely made yourself that way?

AXL: Partially, yeah, trying not to be overexposed. Negativity sells, and 
the media knows that. "Axl Rose is rock 'n' roll's bad guy." There were a 
lot of people who felt that the Rolling Stones shouldn't exist, who talked 
crap about them. Now we're huge, and it seems the people who are most vocal 
are the ones who don't like us. They'll pick up any rock to throw at us. 
When I read that Guns N' Roses could be David Duke's house band, that's 
wrong, and it hurts me. I'm not for David Duke. l don't know anything about 
the guy except that he was in the Klan, and that's fucked. There's a lot of 
people who have chosen to use that song ("One in a Million"). However that 
song makes them feel, they think that must be what the song means. If they 
hate blacks, and they hear my lines and hate blacks even more, I'm sorry, 
but that's not how l meant it. Our songs affect people, and that scares a 
lot of people. l think that song, more than any other song in a long time, 
brought certain issues to the surface and brought up discussion as to how 
fucked things really are. But when read somewhere that l said something last 
night before we performed "One in a Million," it pisses me off. We don't 
perform "One in a Million." Another reason I've been laying low is that I've 
been trying to take the time to survive our success and assume 
responsibility for where we're at. l didn't have enough energy to stay in 
contact with the media. Instead of dealing with the media, l was trying to 
grow in my own space. I've needed to do that for the last couple of years. 
It took me years to rise above the success of Appetite and the people who 
liked it. l was like, "Why are they liking it? These are the same people who 
hated me?" There are a lot of people who are afraid of what they think l 
could be. They see the power in the music and the words. They see the 
reactions of people to our music, and the natural reaction is to lay 
everything on the people performing the music. I'm not necessarily 
responsible for the reactions l write, and the band plays, from the heart In 
our songs we show instances that were really fucked, but we've risen above 
those situations, and people get a real sense of surviving obstacles from 
us. l was watching this thing today about de-metalizing kids. All a parent 
knows is they see their kid listening to Ozzy Osbourne. The kid is doing 
acid and painting upside down crosses on his wall, and they don't know what 
happened to him or her, so it's Ozzy's fault.

RIP: So you're to blame for the next generation of fuck-ups?

AXL: According to parents or whoever. There's a lot of people who don't 
understand or know how to handle their children's rebellion.

RIP: Yeah. Taking responsibility for your own actions and, if you have a 
kid, responsibility for their actions, is really heavy.

AXL: Especially responsibility that a part of us never really wanted, but 
now have.

RIP: Why does the world have this misconception about you, especially about 
you being a drug addict? 

AXL: Didn't Presidential candidate Bill Clinton catch a lot of shit for 
admitting that he tried pot once? That's bullshit. How many cool people do 
you know who survived and lived during the '6Os? GNR got to the top of a 
mountain by using every pile of shit that ever happened to us. We were 
living that way, living our songs, and it started killing us. It was either 
die or change. Certain people who see that we've gotten control over 
ourselves, control over our physical shapes and our lives, write that we're 
sedate and predictable. They say we don't live on the edge anymore. 
Actually, I'm living on the edge and learning how to ride it instead of 
being dragged down by it.

RIP: l see what you're saying, but that doesn't answer my question about 
you.

AXL: Okay, first off, I'm on very specific, high-tuned vitamins. My body 
needs these vitamins. I'm also involved in extensive emotional work to reach 
certain heights with myself that doing hard drugs would interfere with. I'm 
doing several detoxing programs to release trapped toxins that are there 
because of trauma. Doing a lot of coke would get in the way of my work. 
Doing dope would definitely get in the way of what I'm trying to accomplish. 
Some pot doesn't really get in the way too much. If gets in the way of the 
work for, like, the next day, but sometimes it's a grounding thing. It I'm 
flipping out in the middle of Idaho, then a little bit of pot helps me be 
sedate. Also, coming off stage, going from such high energy into a very 
sedate world, is heavy -- I don't care how many strippers you have. It's 
like going off a cliff in a car, and that's when I can use some smoke.

RIP: You don't even smoke that much anymore.

AXL: I know. About a year ago, while we were recording the records, I smoked 
a lot of pot. I was in a lot of pain, and that was the only way I could keep 
myself together enough to work. It was the only thing that could take my 
mind off my problems, so I could stay focused and record. It helped keep me 
together. Now it would interfere with things.

RIP: Remember when you actually moved into The Record Plant and set up camp?

AXL: There was no heat in that room. It was a cold, lonely place, but it was 
the only place I could stay to keep myself in the work. It was cool looking, 
but it was dark, cold and weird. It got to the point that certain people 
could tell just by the way I was talking, the tone of my voice, that l 
wasn't right. A friend brought by some Christmas presents. Another flew out 
unannounced and stayed with me Christmas Day, because they were very worried 
that I wasn't going to make it through. I couldn't leave the studio, but I 
couldn't go back to my condo because of my neighbor. That was a nightmare. 
It was also wild, because these people didn't know anything about the 
Christmas before, when was driving to your house, trying to find someone 
with dope on the way because l wanted to OD. I could always relate to the 
Hanoi Rocks song "Dead by Christmas." It's been two Christmases since then, 
though, and this past one was probably the nicest I've had in 29 years.

RIP: Did Robert (John, GNR's photographer) ever take any photos of you 
there?

AXL: No.

RIP: That's a drag

AXL: Yeah, it's a shame.

RIP: That would've been a great photo. That, and the time you threw your 
piano out the sliding-glass windows of your house.

AXL: Those were two major things that didn't get on film that should've. 
John Lennon wasn't nearly as self-conscious as l am. He could keep a camera 
rolling at all times.

RIP: l remember being backstage at San Diego, and you were late. People were 
seriously tense. Half of the concern is the job itself, but the other half 
is concern for you. It's not a case of, "Oh my god, my check's going out the 
window," it's, "Is Axl alright?"

AXL: I've never been in a position before where I've been responsible for 
the income and livelihood of at least 60 people, like our road crew and 
such. That's hard for me to deal with. If we didn't have an album out right 
now, l wouldn't be on tour; l wouldn't have chosen to take on that 
particular responsibility at this time. But I didn't really have a choice, 
especially if I want to keep my career going. I would've liked to be more 
together emotionally and mentally before this tour. Part of the job of being 
in Guns N' Roses is coming onstage and being superhuman. We're supposed to 
rise above the energy in the crowd, rise above whatever bad may have 
happened that day, rise above whatever is in your head, while at the same 
time trying to rise above the damage in your own life. When l say GNR are 
striving to rise above, I mean we're doing our best to survive, not like, 
"Hey, look at us, we're better than you." I don't mean rising by being 
power-hungry and vicious to people. We're just trying to rise above and be 
healthy and secure with ourselves, and trying to spread some of that around. 
That's what I'm working on.

RIP: Everyone seems to be harping on your tardiness to gigs.

AXL: I addressed the crowd in Phoenix and explained, "Maybe I was just too 
fuckin' bummed out to get my ass up here any quicker." They loved that. 
Maybe l couldn't move any faster than I was because it was a bitch. l don't 
mean to inconvenience the crowd by being late. Maybe by reading this 
interview they can understand a little of what go through regularly. 
Sometime it's really hard getting onstage, because l feel like I just can't 
rise above and win. I don't want to get onstage unless I know l can win and 
give the people their money's worth. I'm fighting for my own mental health, 
survival and peace. I'm doing a lot of self-help work and, fortunately, I 
can afford the people I work with. People say that I'm just spoiled. Yeah, I 
am; but the work I'm doing is so l can do my job. I've learned that when 
certain traumas happen to you, your brain releases chemicals that get 
trapped in the muscles where the trauma occurred. They stay there for your 
whole life. Then, when you're 50 years old, you've got bad legs or a bent 
back. When you're old, it's too hard to carry the weight of the world that 
you've kept trapped inside your body. I've been working on releasing this 
stuff, but as soon as we release one thing and that damage is gone, some new 
muscle hurts. That's not a new injury; it's a very old injury that, in order 
to survive, I've buried. When l get a massage, it's not a relaxing thing; 
it's like a football player getting worked on. I've had work done on me -- 
muscle therapy, kinesiology, acupuncture almost every day that we've been on 
the road.

RIP: It always seems like a crapshoot as to which Axl is going to show up at 
the gig. Why is that?

AXL: Part of it is because GNR is like a living organism. It's not an act. 
Even if I'm doing the same jump during the same part of a particular song, 
it's not an act. That's the best way for me to express myself at that point. 
l get there, and l let it out. Certain ways l move, like during 
"Brownstone," is the way to get the best out of myself. It's like, how can l 
give the most at that moment without giving up my life? How can l give life 
and still walk away with it? We don't go onstage like Guns N' Roses used to, 
or like a punk band -- and I'm not knocking punk bands --thinking that if we 
don't make it to tomorrow, that's okay. Now there's a lot of things 
depending on tomorrow and GNR. It's like, how can we give the most and turn 
around tomorrow and give that much again? It takes a lot of work, a lot of 
effort and a lot of maintenance. When l went onstage in San Diego, l got on 
thanks to Nirvana. l used their music to inspire me. I took their attitude 
and got up in jeans and a T-shirt I never do that. l got out there and told 
Slash that didn't know what was going to happen. I thought was going to go 
out there and quit. If l go out there and can't do it because l have no 
energy, then l have to walk away. When l got out there, the crowd was very 
giving with their energy towards us, and it actually fueled me. There's 
energy in the crowd that, unless you've seen and felt it, there's no way to 
describe. It's fuckin' scary. Darby Crash (lead singer of the L A. punk band 
the Germs) was scared to death of that energy, and his only way of rising 
above it was by getting wasted, acting like it didn't exist and showing that 
he could do more damage to himself than the crowd could. That's how he rose 
above it, but it finally killed him.

RIP: That's so weird you brought him up. Yesterday we were talking about how 
great the Germs record is. 

AXL: Today l was watching The Decline of Western Civilization. l really 
liked this guy, and l felt bad. 

RIP: You know. someone's gonna read this, see you say "living on the edge," 
and assume you mean drugs and rowdiness and all the other Hollywood cliches 

AXL: Well, that used to be. A lot of those were ways of dealing with pain. 
It was a survival mechanism. When see someone famous saying, "The road to 
success was not the drugs, blah, blah, blah,' I'm like. "Hey, they kept you 
alive during that time, didn't they? If you didn't have those things, you 
might not have made it." There's a lot of things that none of us were taught 
when we were kids. There is a lot of pain built up over the years. You're 
taught to believe that it's normal to get smacked in the head if you don't 
eat your food. By the lime you're in your teens, you're like, "Gimme a beer. 
Life's a bitch." I could never see myself trying to take away anyone else's 
emotional suppressants, especially if that's what helps keep them going and 
surviving. I would like to show people that you can get past these things 
and not need them anymore. I'm not about escaping through drugs and sex 
anymore, because I've reached a point where l can't escape. There is no 
escape. l have to deal with and face my life l was one of many people that 
didn't think l was gonna live to see next week, let alone 21. I felt that 
the world was so fucked up and that l was so underneath it all that just 
getting successful was not rising above it. That was rising above a couple 
things, like financial things, but then you had to learn how to handle the 
money, or you could get buried by it all over again and be even more 
depressed.

RIP: I know what you mean.

AXL: It you're operating out of fear that you're not going to live past a 
certain point anyway, then the attitude is, "Fuck it." In certain respects 
we've gotten lucky, those of us who are still alive, that we did get past 
that. There's a lot of people involved in rock 'n' roll who were running 
from something. They got involved with drugs and alcohol to help ease their 
pain. A large portion -- probably the majority -- of rockers and metal fans 
are damaged people who are trying to find some way to express themselves. 
They can relate to the anger, the pain, the frustration of the band that's 
performing.... Can l call you back in. like, half an hour?

RIP: Yeah. What's up?

AXL: l just want to get something to eat.


END PART 1 OF 3

_________________________________________________________________________
Alex Alexander           |    The thoughts expressed here are my own, 
LaserMaster R&D          |    and in no way reflect those of my company
7156 Shady Oak Rd.      G|R   (which would no doubt disavow everything
Minneapolis, MN 55344    N'   I have ever said on the net or in person).
(612) 943-9314          G|R   ------------------------------------------
---------------------    |   "Your only validation is in living your
alexa@county.lmt.mn.org  |      own life; vicarious existence is a
CIS -- 71005,506         |       fucking waste of time." -- Axl Rose
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

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