From: intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: The Second Move
Date: 15 Apr 92 23:46:00 GMT
Article-I.D.: u.1992Apr15.234600.26677
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle

In article <1992Apr15.225849.28199@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu> kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>>kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing) writes:
>
>>No matter how much you whine about this, it's NOT GOING TO CHANGE!!  Not
>>in your lifetime it isn't.  
>I don't have any illusions that it will. I also don't have any
>illusions about there being justice in the world. If there were, women
>like Angelwing would only get dates with jerks.

Oh please.  I should be doomed to have only jerks because I am not
aggressive in the way YOU think I should be?

>>Teri Miller has been good enough to at least respond to this and say that
>>giving guys signals and expecting them to react is bullshit.  That's okay
>>- I mean, in a way it *is* a chicken way to run things.  
>Glad you realise it. Teri does have the right idea.

And Teri's happy with the way things are for her and I'm happy with the
way things are for me.

>>But that's the way things are, mostly.  Sure, things are changing,
>>but very slowly.  
>But you seem to prefer your rules. If enough women are like this,
>nothing will change. But if you continue to do things this way, then
>perhaps men will not bother to change either.

But Kiran, I don't care.  I don't WANT things to change.  

>>it seems that your choice is to wait until a woman approaches you and hope
>>she's the type you would care to date, 
>That's exactly what you have chosen to do. Has it led to relationships
>that are as good, on average, as those you might have had if you had
>chosen men who were the type you would care to date? I think not, but
>of course I can't prove things about possibilities.

But *of course*!!!  I only date men I WANT to date.  I choose, see?  I
make myself available to the types I want and who want me.  Why, in
heaven's name, would I date men that I didn't choose to date?  

>>or learn to read body language. What's so hard? I really don't get it.  
>No, you really don't get it. Here's an example you should recognise:
>
>>He obviously liked me.  He asked me out.  I was astonished because I
>>hadn't been giving him "available" vibes and I was married.  So I
>>turned him down, of course.
>
>He read your body language and decided you were available. Were you
>giving him "available" vibes? You claim not. He would probably claim
>you did. Is communication happening? I think not.

Well I have since asked him about this.  He was not looking for available
vibes.  He wasn't all wrapped up in whether I'd turn him down or not ...
rejection wasn't a life and death deal with him.  He wore a ring on his
wedding finger to discourage women hitting on him and assumed I was doing
the same.  Hey .... so I'm not saying the plan is fool-proof.  Only that
it works.

*------------------------------------------------------------------*
* Angelwing       |"Two things are wanted by a true man, danger and*
* U. of Washington| play - therefore, he seeks woman as the most   *
*                 | dangerous toy."       Friedrich Nietzsche      *
*------------------------------------------------------------------*
Newsgroups: soc.singles