From: rauser@fraser.sfu.ca (Richard John Rauser)
Newsgroups: alt.horror,rec.arts.movies,rec.arts.sf.movies
Subject: Sleepwalkers: A Review (no spoilers)
Date: 12 Apr 92 19:43:53 GMT
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada



           Sleepwalkers: A Review by Rick J. Rauser




    I  know, I know. Stephen King on the screen = two hour groans. But 
there WERE exceptions. The Shining. Maximum Overdrive (no flames! I know
everyone hated it but me!). Misery. Pet Sematary. And considering the fact
that Sleepwalkers was written "expressly for the screen" I had hopes.
High hopes. They came a tumblin' down. 

    What makes this film such an abysmal failure are two main weaknesses:
(1) It is a STUPID film   (2) Nothing in the film is ever explained to the
audience (gee, this is sounding like Basic Instinct all over again).

    Before I begin to sound like an unintelligent reviewer, let me
explain. Point 1. This film is stupid. It's that simple. Sleepwalkers is
a silly story. Without giving away anything that happens (though I really
should to prevent anyone from seeing this piece of garbage) let me give
you a few tidbits: savage cat-people called "sleepwalkers" (we don't know
why) come into town. They are terrified of cats (we have no clue why) and
to survive they suck "energy" (my best guess) from "pure, untainted" 
virgins (again, we have no clue why). There are two sleepwalkers in the 
film, a mother and son. They have an incestuous relationship. (We don't know
why and don't WANT to know. This is typical King-esque grotesqueness...
usually effective. But this time it doesn't wash). 

    The son is infatuated with a cute high school girl (staring at this
girl is the only thing I salvaged out of the two hours...that and seeing
Mark Hamill in a short scene in the beginning of the movie) and tries to
kill her. Does he succeed? Gee, take your best guess.

    Sleepwalkers is agonizingly cliched. We have scary sixties "horror"
music every time one of the sleepwalkers appears on screen (I keep cursing
Cape Fear for reviving that style of score) and the film bombards us with
ridiculous dialogue such as:  

  mother sleepwalker: Do you love me?
  son sleepwalker: Of course.
  mother sleepwalker: Are you going to get her? (the virgin girl)
  son sleepwalker: Tomorrow.
  mother sleepwalker: (licking her lips). Good. I'm SOOO hungry.

  The problem is that Stephen King expects us to take this tripe SERIOUSLY.
As a spoof on horror films this would work fine. But the audience laughs
nervously and/or with embarrassment as they realize that this is intended
as a bona fide horror movie. Scenes such as the one above are actually
suppose to SCARE us. Trust me, they don't.

   This film slips into absurdity with the sleepwalkers' fear of cats. Cats
are drawn to the sleepwalkers until by the end of the film there are about
one hundred cats lounging around their home and yard (again we have no
explanation for this and by this time we don't want one). This is supposed
to be eerie, to be scary. The cats are supposed to be a premonition of 
doom, a symbol of bizarre cosmic justice (remembe the cats in Pet Sematary
and Cat's Eye?). The problem is that real cats are much less scary than the
hissing demonic felines portrayed in the movie poster. MUCH less. Each time
the audience saw this swarm of cats at the sleepwalkers' home, we laughed.
It just looked funny and cute. When the cats attacked the sleepwalkers,
jumping at them screaming MEEEEOWWW! (this happens throughout the film)
we laughed even harder. It looked like something from an Archie comic
or a bad sitcom. There was nothing scary about it.

    How's this for intelligent dialogue? Son sleepwalker in his trans am
offers a ride home to beautiful  high school girl. He jumps in the car
without opening the door. 

    Girl: You know, some people use doors (smiling).
    Boy: Do they? I've heard that.
    Girl: Have you? (smiling).

   Mere words cannot describe how bad the acting in this film is and how
unbelievable the characters are. Sleepwalkers is a study in bad acting,
bad characterization, and BAD dialogue, things that King is a master at in
his novels. Why does it translate so badly to the screen? I wish I knew.

    I almost forgot to mention: the sleepwalkers can alter their appearance
as well as their surroundings (they can turn invisible and change a car
 from a Mustang to a Trans Am). Again, THIS IS NEVER EXPLAINED.

    Aside from the horrible acting, I think that this is Sleepwalkers'
main flaw. It makes no sense. Point 2. We are given so many little
clues and hints and suggestions about these strange creatures with their
strange powers and incestuous relationship (yes, we actually see mother
and son in bed) yet we are never told about their origins, their background,
their history...it's like the last half of the film was chopped out.

    Stephen King has a very short cameo which is quite humorous (this time
the humor is intentional) and as I said earlier, Mark Hamill is in the first
five minutes of this film as a Sheriff in the town the sleepwalkers were
last in. It's neat seeing Luke Skywalker. It's also nice looking at the
high school girl almost killed by the sleepwalkers. Horrible acting
aside, she has a beautiful smile.

    In the above paragraph I outlined the good things about this film.
Everything else is bad. Score another turkey for Stephen King. On a scale
of 1 to 10, I would have no choice but to give Sleepwalkers a 0. It is
boring, confusing, laughable, UN-scary, and decidedly UN-interesting. 
I can say with all honesty that this film has no redeeming qualities 
whatsoever. Not only was I kicking and screaming when the credits rolled
for the loss of my eight dollars, but I also felt cheated of two hours
of my life, two hours I will never get back.

   In short, Sleepwalkers is a horrible disappointment. It's one of those
films that is so bad the viewer is amazed. Did the producers actually think
this film would be scary? Did they think people would like it?

   I can say with all honesty that having suffered through this film, I cannot
imagine the answer to that question being yes.

--
Richard J. Rauser   "I like fighting Chun Li.
rauser@sfu.ca        Especially when I slide under her legs and glance up."
WNI                                                  -Dhalsim