From: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: How to get daughter more career-minded?
Date: 28 Sep 1992 19:25:12 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc12.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, pub@riscee.pko.dec.com (Publius) says:

>We have a 4 years old daughter who is really bright.  Her preschool
>teacher, an elderly lady, told us that in her many decades of
>experience as a preschool teacher, she has only met two preschoolers
>this bright.  No need to say that we have great hope for her.
>Maybe, we think, she will become a great lawyer upholding the rights
>and the liberty for many; or at least, she can be a doctor relieving
>the pains and the sufferings of the sick.  
>
>Then, a few weeks ago, I took her to the doctor for her regular
>checkup.  On our way back, I asked her: "Do you want to be a
>doctor when you grow up?"  Her answer shocked me.  "No," she said
>"I want to get married."  "But you can be a doctor and get married
>too" I tried to tell her that there is really no conflict here.
>"No," she said "I want to be a mom and have kids."  "But you can
>be a mom, have kids, and be a doctor at the same time." I was trying
>my best to explain to her.  "No," her voice became lauder "I don't
>want to be a doctor.  I want to get married when I grow up."
>
>I have no idea where she picked up that concept.  Knowing its
>implied message, we have banned "Little Mermaid" video tape from
>our household.  Instead, we read her books like "Doctor Hilda made
>the house call" and the likes.  Whenever possible, we always find
>her a female pediatrician in the hope that she has a good role model.
>But despite all of these conscious efforts on our part, she 
>obviously picked up some other ideas.  Apparently she watched
>the "Little Mermaid" at the school for she sometimes told us
>about that story and asked us buy her that tape.  We have told
>her many times that Ariel is not really a good girl because she
>only wants to play but does not want to study and do some useful
>things.  I guess we have yet to get our message across.
>
>Any suggestion for us to turn the things around?  

     Ah, but Ariel is 16 or so, and your daughter is only 4.  It's dangerous
to try to push a child into things too early, because they may very
well rebel and go directly away from the path you would like.  Also, your
child is at an age where anything she likes will wind up making her think
she wants to do that when she grows up.  She will be that way for a good
while - perhaps till her teen years.  Let me illustrate with a recollection
of what I generally wanted to be (there were mini-stages within each group):
   Age     Career/reason
   3-5     Weatherman, because I loved numbers & wanted to be on TV
           (And the job of Count on Sesame Street was taken :-)

   6-7    Doctor; my mom was a nurse, I wanted to help people.  I also
            had an uncle starting his practice in medicine.

   7-12    Astronomer or astronaut, because I loved space, and wanted to
            discover new things if not explore.  My heroes were Neil
            Armstrong and Clyde Tombaugh, who discovered the planet Pluto
            after months of searching, and he'd just come out of graduate
            school. (So, I'd had the work ethic instilled.)

  11-15   President of the US (Lawyer first)

  16-20   Reporter/sportscaster

     Now, I'm in law school.  I had many other changes within those
general frames.  Don't worry - tonight your daughter may come home and
decide she wants to become an acrobat because a friend told her about the
circus.
     One final note - you *can* encourage certain positive traits.  Since
I was 3, my endless debating and negotiating often prompted my mom to
say: "I bet you'll be a lawyer someday."  If you must emphasize something,
emphasize the trait that would lead her into a general area, like desire
to help people, compassion, or something else.
-- 
Doug Fowler: dxf12@po.CWRU.edu      :    "Every baby born into the world is
Real home: Canton, Ohio             :  finer than the last."--Charles Dickens
 Trying to follow in the path of our :     "A baby is an inestimable
Lord;anything close will be a success:  blessing and bother."--Mark Twain
Newsgroups: misc.kids