From: hatcher@ramsey.cs.laurentian.ca (Donald L.C. Blewett)
Subject: Mad magazine article
Organization: Dept. of Computer Science, Laurentian University, Sudbury, ON
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 18:08:31 GMT


This is in the star wars arcive at wpi.wpi.edu but it is so funny I had to 
post it.

>Compiled from: Ernie Oporto <EAO102@psuvm.psu.edu>

Okay.  Here it is, what we've all been waiting for.  George Lucas' plans
for the dodecaology (as it was back in 92', instead of a decaology is it
is now) we all know and love!  Granted this isn't serious, since I found
it in a MAD magazine from 1982, but here goes...

Reprinted without permission from MAD Magazine, April, 1982.

=====begin article=====
>FROM THE DESK OF GEORGE LUCAS

TO:  ALL STAFF MEMBERS

THE PLOTS AND CHARACTERS OF OUR
SPACE FILMS ARE GETTING SO CONFUSING
THAT SOMETIMES EVEN I CAN'T KEEP
TRACK OF WHAT'S GOING ON.

SO I'VE PUT TOGETHER THIS BOOKLET OUT OF
THE STUDIO.  IF AUDIENCES KNEW IN
ADVANCE WHAT WE'RE PLANNING, IT COULD
RUIN US.

Page 1
Altogether, there will be 12 films in our epic space saga,
ubt they will not be made in chronological order.  "Star
Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back," our first two movies, are
actually No. 5 and No. 6 in the series.

Our third picture (really No. 2 in the series) will be "Send
in the Clones", in which we find out that both Darth Vader and
Obi-Wan Kenobi were cloned by the same donor, who happens to be
a long-lost grandfather of Chewbacca's.  This sets up a conflict
between the Wookies and the Empire, which becomes the plot for our
fourth film (No. 3 in the series) "Makin' Wookie."

Page 2
After seeing "The Empire Strikes Back", some people
got the idea that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's
real father.  Although "Makin' Wookie" doesn't clear
this up, it does reveal how an ancestor of Princess
Leia befriends Yoda, who organizes the Jedi Knights,
comprised of Darth Vader (then a young idealist in
love with Lando Calrissian's great-aunt) and Obi-Wan
Kenobi, who defend the Wookies when their home, the
planet Kazhyyyk, is overrun by droids (film No. 11,
"Cut and Droid")

This ties in neatly with our fifth film (No. 1 in the
series), "A Matter of Life and Darth", in which Luke,
who has unraveled the secrets of time travel (in
"Makin' Wookie", learns that Darth Vader is a half-droid
and may be the real father of both Han Solo and See-
Threepio.  Luke gets this information from Yoda, who
reveals that Darth Vader, beign part droid, distrusts
humans and plans to organize all the droids in the hope
of destroying the Rebel Alliance.

Page 3
Meanwhile, in our sixth film, "Hiya, Leia" (No. 10 in
the series), Princess Leia discovers that her grand-
father and Han Solo's grandmother were next-door neighbors
on Alderann, before it was blown up by Darth Vader (in
"Star Wars").  In a wild, galactic battle, Luke fights
Boba Fett, and we are left with the impression that Boba
may be Luke's father.

Page 4
This brings us to our seventh film, "Cut and Droid" (No. 11
in the series), which recounts the Great Droid War, in which
See-Threepio apparently dies, after a valiant battle against
rust.  This should not be confused with the plot of our eighth
film, "Look Ma, No Han" (No. 9 in the series), in which Han
Solo is forced to become an undercover agent for Darth Vader,
and is lost in hyper-space after Artoo- Detee reveals that
Pricess leia may be the daughter of Obi-Wan Kenobi from his
first marriage to a sister of Boba Fett's great-grandmother.

Page 5
Both Boba Fett and Jabba the Hut (who are introduced in "The
Empire Strikes Back") were once comrades of Darth Vader, and
this is brought out in our ninth film, "Yessir, Thats My Boba"
(No, 4 in the series).  We find out that Luke Skywalker's
lightsaber was once recharged by Boba Fett's father, who we
suspect may be Chewbacca.  This ties in with the romance
between See-Threepio (who learns he's part human) and Chewbacca's
half-hairy sister, Varga (introduced in "Cut and Droid").

Here we learn from Artoo-Detoo (who holds the entire history
of the Galaxy in his memory banks) how the Jedi Kinghts were
disbanded, and also observe See-Threepio's nervous breakdown,
when he finds out that mixed marriages sometimes don't work.

Page 6
However, we always come back to the question of who is Luke's
father, and in our tenth film, "Lando Plenty" (No. 8 in the
series), we discover that Lando Calrissian's great-aunt (whom
we met in "Makin' Wookie") may have been the wife of Obi-Too
Kenobi (Obi-Wan's younger brother) in Cloud City, when Lando'
father joined forces with a cousin of Han Solo's to put down
the First Droid Uprising, which led to the Great Droid War
(seen in "Cut and Droid").

Page 7
We learn more about Luke's ancestry in our eleventh film,
"Space 'n Vader" (No. 7 in the series) as the Jedi Knights
split into three factions - one loyal to Princess Leia,
another loyal to Darth Vader, and a third having no opinion.
Luke returns form a space voyage to the planet Kazyyyk where
he discovers the true identity of his father while rescuing
Chewbacca from midget aliens.  Luke, as it turns out, lived
as a young boy with the Wookies, who snatched hinm from a
drone spaceship just outside the Mandalore System, the home
of Boba Fett and other Super Commandos.  The Wookies gave
Luke the name of "Skywalker" which, in the Wookie tongue, means
"Hairless Warrior Who Destroys Evil With Beam of Light".  Now
Luke learns from Artoo-Detoo that neither Darth Vader, Obi-Wan
Kenobi, nor Boba Fett is his father.

Page 8
In our twelfth film, "Once a Knight Is Enough" (No. 12 in the
series), the identity of Luke's father is finally revealed.  It
is none other than the Force, which as we learned in "Send in the
Clones", was once capable of taking on human form before it
dissolved into the Sixth Dimension.  Luke is reunited with
Princess Leia (who left Darth Vader after being forced to marry
him in "Hiya, Leia") and they move to another galaxy.

This last film serves as the climax to the "Star Wars Saga -
Part I."  Immediately after it is completed (we figure that
to be sometime around the year 2014), we will begin work
on the 24 films that make up the "Star Wars Saga - Part II."
=====End of article=====

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Donald L.C               !          /| |\      "Laurentian University Computer
"Lando Calrissian"      <o>        / |_| \      Science Department.  You will
Blewett                  |        / )\ /  ||    never find a more wretched hive
                        / \       |---0---_|    of scum and villiany.  We must
hatcher@ramsey.cs.laurentian.ca   \  / \  /     be cautious."
                                   ^:::::^                  
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