From: dias@cac.washington.edu (Vivian Dias )
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: SB - The Skit
Date: 21 Jan 1993 17:00:59 GMT
Organization: UW Computing
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: redx.cac.washington.edu
Keywords: No Shame


 Below is the critically acclaimed *Skit*.  A comedic tour-de-force performed
 by the equally critically acclaimed Pittsburg Players.

SANTA BARBARA - THE SWITCH
      by Sucheta Doshi, Vivian Dias, Nancy Norbeck
     

Cast of Characters:   Minx - Renee Morris
                      Gina - Ilene Morgan
                      Julia - Suzanne Metlay
                      Jodie - Liz Fox
                      Lilly - Gidget Bowden
                      Mason - Curt Lindmark
                      Reese - Rick Morris
                      Kelly - Jacquie Owens
                      McCabe - John
                      Micah - Mike Metlay
                      Plants - Leila Thomas 
 
ACT I

Minx's House, Living Room

Minx:  (has a headache and is examining tarot cards) Oh, my head.  I 
	have had it up to here with Gina ranting and raving about that 
	wedding.  I'm so tired..just a few minutes of peace and quiet 
	will do me good.  You know, myJpretty Venus fly trap, if you 
	were my daughter-in-law instead of Gina, my life would be so 
	much more easier.  (lightbulb goes on in Minx's head just as 
	Gina walks in) 

Gina:  What am I going to do? Lilly and Ted's wedding of the century 
	is tomorrow - did you hear me -tomorrow!  The toddler from 
	hell has ruined Lilly's beautiful wedding gown, the 400 
	invitations were never sent out and my $6,000 dress looks like 
	it came off the rack! Oooh that Samantha!  I'd like to wring her 
	neck!

Minx:  Oooh I know exactly how you feel!

Gina:  And then the caterer walked out on me!  Why is this 
	happening to me today!  Any other day but today I could have 
	dealt with!  Everything happened with such horrible timing!

Minx: (aside to herself) Yours isn't so great either!

Gina: It's all Rosa's fault anyway!  How much of a mess could a 
	world-renowned chef make anyway?  How dare that man walk 
	out on me!  Just because I wanted the reception fare for my 
	baby's big day to be truly outstanding and extraordinary!

Minx:  Well, people are funny like that I guess.

Gina:  People are weird!

Minx:  (aside to herself) Put yourself straight at the top of the list!

Gina:  What?  What?  Honestly Minx!  The least you could do is get 
	off your lazy behind and do something to make it right!

Minx:  Oh Gina!  Put a sock in it already!

Gina:  How dare you speak to me that way?  I'm trying to salvage my 
	precious daughter's most important day in her life and all you 
	can do is sit around and grumble in your old age!

Minx:  (really annoyed now)  That's the last straw.  (starts 
	incantations and transfers Gina to Venus Fly Trap)

Gina: (in plant)  Ugh..I feel really green.  Great..now I'm coming down 
	with something on top of everything else.  I need some aspirin!

Gina's body:  How lovely, an even bigger mouth to catch flies with!  
		  And what a nice body this is!

 In walk Julia and Jodie

Julia: Mason is acting like such a self-righteous prig!  So what if he 
	was right about Gracie and she made a fool of me?  He doesn't 
	have to stand around with that insufferable "I told you so" look 
	on his face!  But what do you expect?  He's a Republican!  He's 
	not a master of precognition, by any means, just a neurotic 
	patrician.  And I love him, flaws and all.

Jodie: At least you have love in your life!  Reese won't even look at 
	me..and after twenty years of marriage!  We can't be breaking 
	up!  I miss him and want him back!  WhyJwon't he 
	understand?  It was only one night with Cruz! (starts crying)

Gina:  Minx!  Get me out of here!  I have to save the wedding of the 
	century and I can't do it from inside this smelly plant!

Julia:  Maybe you ought to leave her in it, Minx.  She's more tolerable 
	 that way. That's a frightening thought.

Gina:  I heard that!  And it was your obnoxious brat who single-
	handedly ruined my baby's wedding gown!

Jodie: But Minx, it's the holidays.  Remember, be nice to your fellow 
	man.

Minx:  Gina's not a man.  (thinks about it) Well, maybe.

Gina:  Minx!  You crazy old bat!  Get me out of here!

Minx:  O.K. O.K. (transfers all three women into each other so a bit of 
	 Jodie, Julia and Gina is in all three)

Gina:  You miserable old mixed-up crone!  How dare you turn me into 
	that nauseating green slime!  I know you..you're trying to 
	sabotage Lilly and Ted's big day but it's not going to happen, 
	you hear me!  My daughter will be queen tomorrow and don't 
	you ever forget it!

Minx:  (to herself)  I think I liked her better as a plant.

Jodie:  It took Lilly and Ted so long to finally find each other with all 
	  that interference from that bimbo Angela and that good-for-	 
	  nothing Rafe!

(Minx is looking very bewildered now)

Julia:  I think all my problems started in November..how dare Mason 
	lose that election!  Now Ted and Lilly's spectacular wedding is 
	almost a disaster!  Oh my head..I have to work quickly, the 
	night is getting shorter.

Minx:  And my day is getting considerably longer!  Oh dear, what 
	have I done?  I thought one Gina was a problem, now I have 
	three!

Gina:  I'm ovulating..where's Mason when I need him.  He says we 
	should be happy with one child but there are more roads to 
	getting a baby than are dreamt of in his philosophy.  We can 
	always adopt.

Jodie: How dare Gina call our precious child a brat!  She's only five 
	years old;  she was simply exercising her artistic talents.  It's 
	not her fault she spilled the finger  paints.

Julia:  But there's hope yet as I will be the next judge of Santa 
	Barbara, and my politics will do a lot of good for this city in the 
	current era of change.  A Democrat is finally in the White House 
	after 12 years of Republican mismanagement.  But BJ is getting 
	married at such a young age.  It's all my fault because I wasn't 
	a good mother!
(starts crying)

Gina:  And Reese left me and refuses to listen to reason.  We need to 
	save our marriage but how can I concentrate when Micah is 
	being so sweet and kind and oh so romantic.  I love Reese but 
	I'm attracted to Micah too.  Oh I'm so confused!
(starts crying)

Jodie: Every time I go to Reese just to talk about our problems, he 
	gives me the cold shoulder.  After twenty years of marriage 
	how can he turn his back on me!  He loves me, I know he does.  
	Why won't he understand it was only one night with Cruz!
					(starts crying)


Minx is now holding her head in her hands when Lilly walks in.

Lilly:  Mom!  I have to talk to you, it's urgent!  (stops when sees 
	three women crying)  What's going on?

Minx:  The puzzle grows curiouser.

Lilly:  Huh?

Minx: (tries to change the subject)  I do love the summertime, don't 
	you?

Lilly:  What?

Minx:  It can be really beautiful.

Lilly:  Yeah..but it's December and what's wrong with my mother?

(All three women look up and say at the same time):
	Lilly, there you are.  I have to ask you, are you sure you want 
	to marry Ted?  I want you to do what's best for you; as long as 
	you are happy, I will be too.  Follow your heart, Lilly.  Look 
	into your inner self, baby, that deep dark quiet place that 
	doesn't lie to you.  There, you will find the happiness you seek.  
	Remember, it's your wedding after all.

Lilly: (really confused)  Mom?  Where are you?

 


Act II

  Mason and Reese arrive at Minx's looking for their respective wives.

  Mason:  Julia, I've given this considrable thought and I think it's
          all for the best that Gracie if finally out of our lives
          once and for all!  Now, light of my life, shall we away to
          a fine and private place and rekindle what spark of romance
          is left us after our bitter duel?

  Julia(as Gina/Jodie):  Get your hands off me Mason Capwell!  Reese!
                         Make him leave me alone.  God, Mason, can't
                         you see I'm busy with Lilly's wedding.

  Mason: (perplexed) Julia, what is going on?  I know you're upset
                     about the judgeship and BJ's trial but that's
                     behind us, are you alright?
  
  Jodie (as Julia/Gina):  Eh, uh, Mason, we really need to sit down
                          and talk.  Please try to stay calm and let
                          me explain.  Explain, hell, we have got to
                          find a caterer.

  Reese:  Jodie, what the hell are you talking about?  We've got to get
          out of here so we can talk.  I love you and I want you back but
          you've got to lose Micha.  Come on let's go.

  Gina: (as Julia/Jodie)  Reese, I love you too (sniffling, crying mode
        on) but something's happened.  I'll say something's happended
        and that harpy mother-in-law of mine is behind it!  Mason, can
        we please talk about this.

  Reese & Mason: (looking confused) What the hell is going on here?!?!?

  Gina/Julia/Jodie:  Let me explain- (chaos ensues as all three women
                     argue about who will explain)

  Jodie (as Julia):  There's only one way to solve this.
  
  Julia (as Gina):  Right, let me start...

  Gina (as Jodie):  Gina, shut up.  You can't tell me to shut up.  Will
                    you two keep quiet.

  Lilly:  Excuse me ladies, sit down and stifle.  Mason, Reese, you'll
          wnat to be sitting for this one.  >>>From what I've been able
          to piece together from these three, Minx seems..

  Mason:  Minx!!  I should have known.  The cursed Lockridges are once
          again spreading gloom and doom upon the Capwells...

  Jodie (as Julia):  Mason, my love, my reason for being, please keep
                     quiet while Lilly continues.  (aside to Julia
                     and Gina) I love him dearly but he's a bit long-
                     winded when it comes to the Lockridges.

  Julia & Gina ( in Julia mode)  You're right, I remember on one of our
                honeymoons...

  Lilly:  Ladies!  Do you mind?  To continue, (Kelly and McCabe arrive
          right here)

  Kelly:  What's going on?  McCabe, I told you to leave the dogs in the
          car.

  McCabe: Where I go my faithful Winston goes and it seems that your
          little fickle female pooch has attached herself to Winston
          the Wonder Dog and won't let him out of her sight.  Hence,
          two dogs and my magnificent self at your service. (bows to
          Kelly)

  Kelly:  Give it a rest, McCabe.  Mason, Julia have you two finally
          made up.

  Lilly:  (stands on chair)  Hello?!?!?  Remember me, I'm the one trying
          to makes heads or tails out of all this.  Kelly, McCabe grab a
          chair, this is a doozy.

  McCabe: Anything to do with the Lockridges and the Capwells seems to
          be a doozy. (Kelly glares at him and punches him in the ribs)

  Lilly:  As I was saying, it would appear that Minx has somehow managed
          to transfer bits and pieces of my Mom and Julia and Jodie so
          that all three of them are all tangled up together.

  Julia : (Gina mode)  That's it.  That wicked witch did this on purpose.  
          (Jodie mode) Oh Reese, (sobbing) I never wanted you to find out,
          I knew you couldn't handle it but it was only once.
          You know, Mason, this does raise some interesting legal questions.

  Jodie:(Julia mode)  I think I would have put it a tad bit differently but
         that pretty much sums up the situation.  
        (Gina mode)That shrew had me in a Venus Flytrap for awhile and she 
         knows I look dreadful in green!
        Reese, I swear Cruz was not involved in this, I swear on the lives
        my children.

  Mason:  Let me get this straight.  Minx has somehow managed to transfer
          personalities around so that there's a bit of Julia in Gina and
          Jodie and vice versa?

  All three ladies:  That's it!
  
  Reese:  I don't believe it.  This is some sort of story so that Jodie
          can be with Cruz or is it Micah?  I'm confused.

  McCabe: (to Kelly)  Is this guy for real?

  Kelly:  Lilly, where's Minx now?

  Lilly:  I think she's upstairs trying to figure out how to undo what she's
          done.

  Mason:  Wonderful.  Isn't that just dandy.  The Wicked Witch of the West
          is going to miraclously come up with a solution to a problem she
          didn't even know she was creating.  However, (evil glint in eye)
          the prospect of three Julias is not unappealing.

  Jodie (as Julia):  Mason!  You find yourself barely capable of handling
                     one of me let alone three of me.

  Julia (as Gina):  And I have no intention of you handling me at all!

  Gina (as Jodie):  Reese....(crying and sobbing)

  Reese:  I still don't believe any of this is happening.

  McCabe:  Believe it, pal.  I have to admit it's a bit farfetched but then
           everything I've seen since I've been here has been just slightly
           abnormal.  Do you people ever just have Sunday afternoon bbq's
           or do you prefer this personality switch bit?  Kinda like 
           wife-swapping without the swap.

  Kelly: (punches McCabe in ribs again)  You're a lot of help.  Instead of
          condeming everyone how about trying to find a solution.

  McCabe:  Oh, sorry, excuse me.  I left my crystal ball and my bag of
           potions that changes people back to normal at home. Jeeze.

  Lilly:  People!  This isn't getting us anywhere.

  Everyone at once, "Where's Minx?  Someone go get her."

  Minx enters, "Someone want me" she asks innocently.

  Everyone at once bombards her with questions, threats except McCabe
  who is standing there watching the scene amused.  Finally, he whistles
  and everyone stops in mid-sentance.

  McCabe:  Okay, we have a bit of a problem here.

  Mason:  The master of understatement has just outdone himself.  Pray
          continue.

  Jodie (as Julia):  Mason, hush. (as Jodie) Reese (sobbing)...(as Gina)
                     All that damn woman does is cry and say Reese.  GEt
                     a life.

  Gina (as Jodie):  I'd love to be but at the moment I'm stuck with yours.

  Julia (as Gina):  Get on with it Jr. G-Man.

  Lilly:  Ladies, please!  This isn't getting us any where.  Minx, were
          you able to come up with anything?

  Minx:  Wellll, not exactly. (mayhem, everyone starts yelling again, again
         McCabe whistles everyone to quiet)

  McCabe:  You people are really something, you know it?  Let the old babe
           talk.

  Kelly:  McCabe, you really are a jerk sometimes (punches him in the ribs)

  McCabe:  I know, it's one of my more endearing qualities.

  Minx:  Unfortunately, I couldn't find a spell to undo the spell I did but
         I just know given a teensy bit more time I can come up with 
         something.

  Reese:  Hey lady, you're time has just run out.  I want my wife back and
          I want her back now!

  3 Ladies:  Oh Reese, (start sobbing)

  Mason:  Minx, I suggest that you peruse your tomes of mystical quackery
          a bit more thoroughly because I have no intention of leaving
          here without Julia in what has always been and will always be
          Julia's body.  Now begone you shrew and don't return until you
          have somehow managed to figure out a way to set to rights that
          which you have rent asunder.

  Reese:  Yeah, and that goes for me too, I think.

  McCabe: Reese, are you sure you don't need me to explain any of that
          to you? (Kelly punches him in ribs again)  Reese glares at him.

  Reese:  Listen, McCabe, I don't need you to tell me how to get my wife
          back.

  McCabe:  Well, if you don't mind my saying so, someone needs someone to
          tell them how to get things back to rights and none of you seem
          to be able to come up with any answers.

  Kelly:  Oh, and I suppose you have all the answers, right, McCabe?  God
          don't you ever get tired of patting yourself on the back.

  McCabe:  As a matter of fact,...(Kelly punches him in the ribs)

  Lilly:  People, we still aren't any closer to getting my Mom back to my
          Mom and ditto for Julia and Jodie.

  Mason:  While having Julia back is a state to be devoutly wished, and I'm
          sure Jodie as Jodie will please Reese, do you suppose there is
          any way that we might possibly lose Gina in the translation.

  3 Ladies:  Mason, I really don't think that's appropriate (Julia mode)
             Mason, you bastard, once a Capwell always a Capwell (Gina mode)
             Mason, Reese (sobs) (Jodie mode)

 Minx (who has left and now renters):  I think I've got it!

  excited mingling around Minx...end of Act II


ACT III

MINX:  (trying to remain calm)  Everything is under control, I promise.  All 
I need is a little time and everything will be back to normal.

MASON:  (sarcastically)  Right.  And I suppose we'll also be seeing stars in 
the east as well.  Or perhaps we could all stand around in a circle and hold 
hands and see if we can call up the spirit of Houdini and let him fix things.

MINX shoots MASON a nasty look, which he returns, but also seems to be very 
worried.

KELLY:  I can't believe you've done this, Minx.  How could you?  What's going 
to happen to them?

MINX:  (somewhat exasperated)  Look,  obviously I know how to do this, or we 
wouldn't have this problem.  So just back off, sweetheart, and let me fix 
things!

KELLY walks off in a huff and joins the BABE. 

BABE (smiling that adorable little smile of his, obviously very amused by
the situation, 	or perhaps by Kelly's reaction to it):  So now what?  We just 
sit back and watch Madame Zora wave her hands around?
	
KELLY:  What else is there to do?

BABE:  (raising his eyebrows) Now wait a minute, here.  You don't mean to tell
me you actually believe that Minx just sat here and said a few choice words 
and waved her hands around and this all happened, do you?  Next thing you 
know you'll be telling me that you saw a little green man outside your window 
last night.

KELLY: (giving BABE a dirty look)  Okay, fine.  (She walks over to the phone)
I'm going to give Micah a call.  He'll be able to do something.


BABE:  There's my girl.

KELLY: (on phone)  Dr. DiAngelis?  This is Kelly Capwell.  I'm at the 
Lockridge's, and we have a small problem here..well, it's kind of hard to 
explain, I think you'd better come over.  Julia and Jodie and Gina are, 
well...No, no, Jodie's fine...kind of.

REESE seethes at MICAH's concern for JODIE.  JODIE, presently residing in 
JULIA's body, picks up on it and looks worriedly at REESE.  GINA, who is in 
JODIE's body, gives REESE a nasty look.

GINA: (in JODIE's body)  Hey, don't you look at me that way, buster, or I'll 
give you something to get angry about! (she lifts her hand in a fist and 
starts to move toward 	REESE angrily)

REESE, nostrils flaring, approaches GINA, hands raised, glaring at her.  BABE 
and MASON step in and pull REESE and JODIE's body to separate corners of the 
room.  

GINA: (still in JODIE's body, to MASON)  Get your filthy hands off of me, you 
stinking Capwell slime!

MASON smiles sarcastically and wisely bites his tongue.

KELLY: (on phone)  Thanks, Micah.  (She hangs up).  Micah's on his way.

MINX:  (sighing) I don't know why you won't just let me go ahead and switch 
everyone back!  It's not like it's all that complicated.

MASON:  Perhaps it has something to do with your previous track record, Minx.

The doorbell rings.  KELLY goes to the door and MICAH enters.  

MICAH: Well, then, what exactly seems to be the problem?

KELLY:  Julia and Gina and Jodie have been...(she looks to MINX for help)

MINX:  (confidently)  Their personalities have been mixed up a bit.  But it's 
nothing I can't solve.

MICAH:  (looking very confused)  You mean to tell me that they're--

JODIE: (from Julia's body, walking up to Micah and pleading with him)  Micah, 
you have to help me!!  I'm trapped here in someone else's body!!  Oh my god, 
what am I going to do??? (she bursts into tears)

REESE: (sarcastically) Yeah, there's my wonderful, condifent wife.

MICAH:  (shooting REESE a nasty look)  Yes, well, we'll see what we can do, 
shall we?  Ladies?  Let's have a look at you. (takes out a stethoscope or 
some other medical-looking gear)

REESE: (mumbles) I bet that's not all he'd like to do..

MICAH fumbles around for a bit, poking and prodding, listening to heartbeats, 
etc.  The Ladies try to keep calm and be cooperative.

MICAH : (standing up)  Um, I'm sorry to say this, but I'm really not sure what
to do about this.  I've never encountered anything like it before.  I'm, um 
(takes a deep breath and looks at MINX) I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask 
you to undo whatever it is that you've done, Minx.

MINX: (smugly) That's all I've been trying to do all day, Doctor.

MINX lines the three ladies up in a row, and stands before them, closing her 
eyes, waving her hands around, concentrating very hard.  After a minute or so,
she begins to mutter an incantation.  Various others around the room, the men 
especially, roll their eyes in skepticism.

MINX:  Abracadabra, trouble do,
	  Lockridge, Capwell, Walker, too.
	  Do we all beseech the to
	  Be most kind, this mess undo!


JULIA:  Ahh, home sweet home.  Mason, let's get out of here.

REESE:  I've been waiting for you to say that, let's go.  (not recognizing his voice,he 	pauses and looks at himself.)  MINX!!  What have you done to me?!!  This isn't 	my body!

JULIA: (walking up to REESE)  Mason??

REESE:  Julia??  Minx, I demand that you get me out of here!!

MINX begins to look worried.

LILLY:  Reese, where are you?  Let's go home.  BJ and Sawyer are probably 
worried sick 	about us. (she, too, stops and looks in the mirror) Oh my god,
 Reese!!  I'm in Lilly's body!!  Reese, Micah, somebody get me out ofhere!! 
 (she begins to cry)


	

GINA: (confused)  Wait, if you're in my body, I must be...(she looks, and 
screams a Lilly-type scream)  Oh my god, I'm my mom!!!

MICAH tries to comfort both LILLY and GINA, standing between them with an arm 
around each of them.  MASON looks slightly displeased  

MICAH: Now, ladies, it's not so bad, is it?

GINA:  Sure, Doc, no problem.  Turning into your own mother is only every 
girl's worst nightmare.  Heh, and I thought that mess with Rafe was bad.  
Wait till Ted finds out he's marrying my mom.  I'm sure he'll just be thrilled.

POTTED PLANT:  I heard that, Lilly!!  I'm so glad I went to all the trouble 
to plan Santa Barbara's biggest wedding, and this is the thanks I get!

GINA:  Mom??  Where are you??

PLANT: (hysterically)  I'm in that damned plant again!  Minx!!!!

GINA looks confusedly at MICAH and LILLY, then gets up and starts trying to 
figure out which plant is her mother.

MICAH nods supportively, looking slightly as if he has no idea what to say.

LILLY:  Micah, please, can't you do something?  I can't stay here forever, 
no offense of course, Lilly.

GINA:  None taken.

LILLY:  Oh, I can't believe how horrible today has been!  I might be stuck 
here forever!  I just want to look at my own face again...I never thought 
those wrinkles would ever look good to me...(she starts to cry)

MASON:  (wearily) Jeez, Jo, get a grip on yourself.  It's not the end of 
the--(he looks at the suit he's wearing)  All right, joke's up, it's been 
fun, but I'd like my body back 	now, if you don't mind.  
(he walks over to REESE)  Any time you're done there, let me know.  Suits 
were never my thing.

REESE:  (testily)  This is not exactly a picnic for me either, you know.(The 
two men eye each other warily.

MINX is slowly trying to back out of the room, hoping no one will notice.

GINA:  Ok, Minx, what's going on here?  I think we need to try this again.  
Julia seems to 	be OK, but Reese and Mason are still mixed up, and Jodie's in 
my body, and my mother is a potted plant.  Who knows what else is mixed up.

KELLY:  Woof.

BABE: (confused) Arf?

KELLY and the BABE start barking at each other frantically.  Their dogs, on 
the other hand, sit back and watch, occasionally trying to shut their 
counterparts up.

JULIA:  Oh, gawd.  Minx, you have really done it this time.  Minx?

MINX has managed to get out of the room.  JULIA follows her and drags her back.

REESE:  I hate to say "I told you so.."

JULIA and MINX:  (irritated) Oh, shut up, Mason.

JULIA:  Ok, let's keep score here.  I'm me, thank god.  You're you, right 
 Minx?  Jodie is Lilly, Lilly is Gina, Gina is a plant, of all things (she
 stifles a chuckle), Reese is Mason, and vice versa, and Kelly and Connor
 have become each other's dogs, from the look of it.  Micah seems to be 
 himself as well.  What do you plan to do about this?


MINX: (frustrated, ambarrassed, etc)  Oh, I don't know!  All I wanted to do 
 was get rid of Gina--

PLANT:  I heard that!

ALL but PLANT chuckle.

PLANT:  Harrumph.  I'll get you for this someday!

MINX:  I never intended for it to go this far!!  Oh, what have I done??

GINA:  I'm sure you didn't, Minx.

REESE:  Though I think we have to question your motives anyway.  Not that we 
wouldn't all understand why you wanted to get rid of Gina, but I doubt this 
was the best way to accomplish it.  After all, would you rather have a common 
plant talking to you?

MINX ignores him.

MASON:  Hey Mason, I hope you don't mind, but one of the dogs just whizzed on 
your shoes..

REESE: (lunging at the dogs)  Those shoes were flown in from Italy!

MICAH: Did someone mention Italy?

JULIA: (walking over to MICAH)  Well, you look like about the only sane one 
here.  	Let's get out of here.

MICAH gets up and walks to the door and starts singing a tacky country song, 
at which everyone looks at him like he has six heads.

MICAH: (with heavy southern-hick accent)  What's wrong, y'all ain't never 
heard of Sonny Sprockett?

LILLY faints.  Everyone else stares as MICAH and JULIA leave.

MINX: (throwing her hands in the air)  Oh well, I suppose it could be worse..
Lilly in Gina's body is still easier to handle than Gina in Gina's body...

Everyone gets up and leaves and MINX runs off totally humiliated.  As they 
leave, they hear the sounds of the PLANT.

PLANT:  You can't do this to me!  You can't leave me here!!  What will Lionel 
say?  CC will take Channing away, I mean, how can a household plant be a fit 
mother?  Come back here!! (ad lib)

    









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