HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: So much for dramatic exits.
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 04:15:57 GMT

There is a bit of an embarrassed cough and Alfvaen shimmers back into
existence, a look of relief on his face.  "Well, that wasn't very long, was
it?

"At suppertime tonight, I got a phone call from a guy named Dan Berry.
Sherwood, the sysadmin at Space Physics, put me in touch with him, because he
runs a UUCP site called Atlantis off of his home NeXT, from a feed at the
University.  And he was receptive to the idea of giving me an account...  So,
boom.  I had an account.

"So here I am, back again.  I'm not quite sure how email to me works...perhaps
those more knowledgeable about UUCP sites could say.  But I think that bouncing
it off of uunet.uu.net will work, or for that matter bouncing it off
ualberta.ca somewhere.  My feed won't be instantaneous, either, but still
better than nothing.

"There are still a bunch of old messages from Sep. 3-9, Oct. 14, and Nov. 18
on disk here, as well as more recent ones from up to a week ago.  Very strange,
if you ask me.  I hope those aren't all the time the newsfeed's been
functional here...but, then, beggars can't be choosers.

"Hey!  I'm back!  My anticipated bout of with newsfeed deprivation is cut
quite short!  Whee!!!!!"  Alfvaen goes into a jig of glee and celebration, and
only stops when he snags a glass from Mike, chugs it and holds it high.  "To
Usenet and UUCP!"  The glass crashes into the fireplace and explodes in blue
flame.  Denizens of the Place wrinkle their noses at the smell of ozone...

--
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
Current Album--ABBA:Super Trouper
Current Read--Poppy Z. Brite:Lost Souls
-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
Current Album--ZZ Top:Greatest Hits
Current Read--Poppy Z. Brite:Lost Souls
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk (Mary Branscombe)
Subject: Re: A leaving for good
Reply-To: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 17:33:00 +0000


farewell Damien. Joy go with you...
<Crash>
Mary Merrytail
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| Organisation: Me? You're joking, right?   |maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk |
|                                           |maryb@cix.compulink.uucp  |
|I know I type "teh" for "the" My fingers have their own accent ;-)    |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
From: ice9@hotcity.COM (Jeremy Dragt)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: seduction
Date: 17 Dec 92 18:19:59 PST
Organization: BBS

My favorite seduction music is the Stan Getz album "Getz/Gilberto", it fulfills
the Tom Waits (Waits is definatly NOT seduction music) of being noninteruptive.
 It is a cool bosa nova jazz albun and all the words are in a mello portuguese
so unless your date speaks portuguese she won't be there listening to the
lyrics.  If the albun was alcohal it would be a fine cognac.
From: pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Humor (was prejudice)
Date: 12 Dec 1992 20:19:23 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: phakt.usc.edu

In article <1992Dec12.200103.28530@netcom.com> henry@netcom.com (Henry Polard) writes:
[deletia ref. Big Al, Liralen Li--see the thread]
>Thank you for proving my point. Pain and hurt respond with pain and
>hurt.
>Here at Callahans, the hurt is usually vented on glasses.
>Or is this newbie missing something?

Impu-Sebek glances sharply upwards at the N-word, then puts a slowly growing
grin on his face. 
"Newbie?  Let me get this straight, here.  YOU are calling Big AL...a
Newbie?"

*snort*

"Enough on that.
"About humor:  I don't have a problem with humor being based on pain and
humiliation.  If you've read _Stranger In A Strange Land_ (Thanx Robert Anson!)
you know what I mean here.  You laugh when you see something hurt, because
laughing is what makes the hurt stop.
"Plus, I think some people *deserve* pain and humiliation.  Some deserve
*Plenty* of it.  When it's vented on the relatively innocent, like Norm, or
the relatively clueless, like that unfunny numbnuts Jack Tripper, then yes,
I do get physically uncomfortable, and jump around the room--just like
Amanda.  If not, I laff.
"Loud.
"Because laughter is a holy gift; one of the few truly sacred things I know
of.

"Hope this makes some things about me clear, or enlightens you, or just
dispels your boredom for a few seconds, or something."

Impu-Sebek sits down, waves to Mike, and starts discussing his bar tab in low
tones.  He looks like he could use a loan.

		Cheers,
		Impu-Sebek the Terminally Broke *gryn*
		QOTD: "A religion that can't survive being laughed at is
		       a religion I'm not horribly interested in."
				-Me, to some Christian Commando on the street.
-- 
Your fingers weave quick minarets      |"They robbed from the rich...and gave
Speak in secret alphabets	       |to the CRIMINALLY INSANE!" -- R&S
I light another cigarette	       |Legalize the weed NOW! CANORML
Learn to forget...                     |email: pechever@usc.edu (changing soon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Special Limited Offer!!!
Date: 15 Dec 1992 17:49:32 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: phakt.usc.edu

In article <1992Dec15.142048.25110@ra.msstate.edu] jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce) writes:
]kitten writes:
]]<CRASH!!!!!> kitten sends her glass flying after c+'s...."hooray!
]]sometimes this Place is the only thing that has kept me going!  shared
]]pain, shared joy...a chosen family...i love you all..."
]
]   <crash!!>DJ, Linda, and Robbie.

<THWOCK!> (Hey, wooden cocoa mugs don't tinkle)  Impu-Sebek




-- 
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
"Come, let us retract the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire
		brush of enlightenment."   --Geoff Miller  
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: tjl9@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Thomas J Lee)
Subject: Re: Let it snow! Let it... <FLOMP!>
Reply-To: tjl9@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Thomas J Lee)
Organization: Columbia University
Distribution: alt
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 16:28:39 GMT

Castellan writes:

C>"Well, as some of you may know, New England has just been hit by one of the
C>biggest nor'easters since '78. Coastal areas have heavy flood damage, lost
C>of people have lost power, and the roads are difficult to impassable."

	"Indeed!" replies the Lamplighter.  "Here in New York the thing is
being called the worst storm since Hurricane Hugo.  All night Thursday night
and all day and night Friday, the wind raged and the rain poured down.  A
barge broke loose and ran into the Tappan Zee Bridge.  On Long Island there
was water two feet deep and no electricity, and the tide rose over the
seawalls and inundated houses.  Most of the subways were closed, because of
water in the tunnels, and they were closing streets in lower Manhattan,
because of standing water.  People were stranded at JFK Airport, because the
planes weren't flying and the roads and public transportation were closed."

	"Then, on Saturday, it snowed all day.  Pretty, big flakes -- our
first snow in the city!  Now it can be Christmas."

	"Ah, Nature, you continuously prove yourself greater than we ..."

---==--===-+===++==+++=*+++**++***+****#****+***++**+++*=+++==++===+-===--==---
The Lamplighter             |"To overcome an obstacle or an enemy,
(Tom Lee)                   | To dominate the impossible in your life,
                            | Reach in the darkness ..."
tjl9@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu |                    -- Paul Simon
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Thyra)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Fare-thee-wells
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Date: 16 Dec 1992 00:31:19 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aaa.uoregon.edu

In article <1992Dec15.034131.29127@muddcs.claremont.edu>,
dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu (David Green) wrote:
> "And now, with finals pressing in, I find myself having to do a sort of pick-
> and-choose reading from here (I normally at least skim everything; I'm finding
> time too tight now.)  So I'm going to be even quieter than usual here (which
> will be hard to do :7 ) from now until I leave... and I thought I'd give my
> goodbyes now in case I don't get another chance... 'specially to Didi, and
> Thyra, and anyone else who encouraged me to stay when my mind was saying 'go'
> that my sieve-for-a-brain has forgotten..."

Thyra pads off after him and gives Mishael a hug. "Happy Holidays Mishael!
Good luck on your finals, and I hope you can return soon."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Chess
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 15:32:06 GMT

(Jason) writes:
>been meaning to ask. Sounds in the news like New York is trying become New
>Atlantis. How bad is it there, really?"

   "Well, someone on the news staff from a tv station in New Orleans,
 Louisiana went up there, and said this morning that it was like a hurricane,
but without the actual hurricane. The southern end of Manhatten Island
had water standing in the streets, subways were flooded. A relative in Maine
said that Sunday he was getting alternating snow and rain and it was
-5F, without a windchill being figured in, " DJ.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: Re: So much for dramatic exits.
Reply-To: aaron%atlantis@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 03:27:13 GMT

The Heckler (pechever@phakt.usc.edu) wrote:
: Impu-Sebek gapes at Alfvaen for a full thirty seconds, then slowly begins
: to collapse.  Concerned citizens rush to his inert form, then realize the
: moaning noises are actually braying laughter.
: 
: "BWA-HA-HAAAH!!!"
: "HAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!"
: *snicker*
: "HAHA!"
: *chortle*
: *sniff*
: 
: "Ah.  Ooooh...that's rich...after all the drama I go through, posting
: drawn out farewells, and everyone in the Place toasts you...you're BACK??"
 
Alfvaen looks affronted.  "Well, if that's the way you're going to be, then
maybe I'll go away again and lurk until New Year's.  I even thought of that,
to make the whole thing more dramatic, but I couldn't restrain myself long
enough.

"It's kind of neat, though.  Sort of like getting to be at your own funeral,
and see what people say about you, except less final.  I recommend it, if you
can manage it.  Very heart-warming.  And due to the slow feed, I've been
reading the farewell responses for the past couple of days.  This is the first
'welcome back' that I've seen..."

: Impu-Sebek runs up to Alfvaen, dumps a mug of cold cocoa all over him, and
: hugs him.
 
"Hey!  You're supposed to wait until I say, 'The drinks are on me!'"  Too late,
Alfvaen realizes what he's said, and he decides to hop into the hot tub before
he gets >really< soaked...(besides, he doesn't >like< cocoa!)

: "Welcome back!"
: 
: Impu-Sebek
: damn that was funny

"Hey, this is Alfvaen, your humour source.  (In case you have doubts--my wife
will assure you, on request, that I'm extremely funny in person.  Michael the
chaotic may be funnier on the Net, though...)"

--
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I never gave it a thought, I never thought I should think
 I would go along with anyone and anything"  --Rupert Hine
Current Album--Elton John:The One
Current Read--John Crowley:Engine Summer
-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I never gave it a thought, I never thought I should think
 I would go along with anyone and anything"  --Rupert Hine
Current Album--Elton John:The One
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: AAARRRRGGGGHHH 2
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 04:36:14 GMT



>seconds latter the doors burst open again as Avec  Chapeau burst back into the
>bar screeching to a halt before Kitten, Takeing paws in hand Avec says in a
>voice as clam and quite as moonlight "I am sorry Kitten but it had been so long
>since I have been away that I mistakenly credited didi-sprite when only you
>responded to me and therefore might remember me.  I beg your forgiveness. 
>Pardon me but I have final accademic matters to attend."  and witha courtly bow
>he runs screaming for the door, arms flailing. leaving a second layer of two
>year tennie smoke about the room.



"s'allright...i don't mind being confused with the good deed...but SHE
sounds like audrey hepburn in "breakfast at tiffanies"  and i sort of
squeak... "  kitten is STILL delighted to see avec back in the
Place...and wishes him luck on his academic matters...
--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"love is the wild card of existance"
                          rita mae brown
From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Subject: Re: Humor (was prejudice)
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 00:01:15 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <1992Dec13.163103.25286@netcom.com> henry@netcom.com (Henry Polard) writes:
>In article <1gedkbINN8l@phakt.usc.edu> pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec12.200103.28530@netcom.com> henry@netcom.com (Henry Polard) writes:
>>[deletia ref. Big Al, Liralen Li--see the thread]
>>Impu-Sebek glances sharply upwards at the N-word, then puts a slowly growing
>>grin on his face. 
>>"Newbie?  Let me get this straight, here.  YOU are calling Big AL...a
>>Newbie?"
>No. I was referring to myself as a newbie. Apologies for the
>ambiguity.

"Oh! Jeez, had me fooled."  Big Al blushes in a not terribly becoming way.

>Good point. Now, the interesting thing about puns is that they do
>not involve pain and humiliation as part of the joke.

Well, not necissarily, and even there opinions differ.  Puns are based
on the defects of our language, and are 'humiliation' to those who value
language very much.  (Anybody have data on whether Kozybiski (sp??) liked
puns?)  Sort of like making jokes about your dead uncle.  (I came this
close to making a dead elvis joke earlier.  Somebody come here and tie
me up till I'm fourty.)

>I had written
>that they cause pain to the hearers hence their being greeted
>with groans or, as with Big Al's reaction, forms of agression.

Some forms of agression are merely ritual.  People were knighted 'by the
striking of a symbolic blow upon the recipient', friends punch each other,
people wince at puns and throw things at each other.  Just 'cause you get
bonked by feminabane doesn't mean that I want to kill you.  (Tho, sometimes
that's the way to bet, 'specially if your a cat-burglar, rapist, or posionous
snake)

>I am begining to think that, while humor may involve pain and
>humiliation, those are not what is essential to humor; for you can
>get lots of humorless pain and humiliation.

Exactly.  Two nonrelated intersecting sets.  Some chickens are white, some
white things are chickens.  Some white things are *not* chickens, and some
chickens are *not* white.  (Special thanks to Mr. Venn.)

Big Al.  Who as been spotted in a 7-11 in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
From: mjmh@crsa.bu.edu (Michael J M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: humour=pain & life=imitation. (was Re: prejudice)
Date: 10 Dec 92 18:03:45 GMT
Organization: Boston University Center for Remote Sensing

In article <1992Dec10.120731.27289@bmerh85.bnr.ca> sjane@bmers248.bnr.ca (sjs) writes:

  [some deletions for space - a funny parody of another film mentioned as a
        possible counter-example]

>But, leaving the realm of film and TV, word plays (eg. puns) are an example
>of humour which isn't at someone else's expense, no?

/* half-smiles.  "But who said that puns were humor?  Seriously, now
that you've brought that up, I think that may have been the only case
that seemed to contradict the theory.  But the theory does tend to
fit a huge majority of humor."

>Indeed yes, but not only children mimic; you should have a look at the
>statistics on copy-cat suicides.  Check out the numbers of single-person,
>fatal car accidents after the report of a single suicide.  Check out the
>numbers of multiple-person, fatal car accidents after the report of a
>murder/suicide.  Scary (IMHO).

"Too true."  :(

>I would really like to know what would happen if the media broadcasted
>good news.  Why is it, anyway, that *everyone* seems to think that only
>bad news makes a story?  (Along the same lines, why does "modern literature"
>always seem to consist of horrid stories like _Death of a Salesman_ and
>_Lord of the Flies_?  What about all those cheerful books out there?)

"I can't figure this out either.  I mean, I *know* that there are a 
lot of happy things going on out there, yet all we get on the news is
gloom-and-doom.  No wonder so many people get pessimistic.  Successes
and happy events should be just as important, if not *more* important,
than the negative stuff.  I guess you just have to keep up with
happy news on your own!  Or create your own!"

"I tend to be quite the optimist, and 'always look on the bright
side of life' (at least, most of the time).  Check out my .sig!"

>Sing Ho for the North!  We're supposed to get 12-15cm of snow tomorroww :) :) 
>sjs

"Yay!  I hope we get some.  I mean, if I have to suffer through the
cold, I might as well have the benefits!"




-- 
========================================================================
Mike Holmes       mjmh@crsa.bu.edu           "Happiness Will Prevail!"
Boston University Department of Geography (a truly GREAT place to work!)
========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mwasson@nyx.cs.du.edu (mike wasson)
Subject: Re: Chess match
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 21:08:10 GMT

>"Hmmm... best make that 4-d with four people."  Liralen says with a smile.
>"I can't play chess to save my life... even took a workshop in it and was
>systematically the worst player in the class.  The instructor actually sat
>down with me for an entire class time and eventually threw up his hands."

"Well, at least you were systematic. :-)"

The Geck'
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: second thoughts about a friendship
Date: 21 Dec 1992 18:00:54 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

mss2@kimbark.uchicago.edu (Michael S. Schiffer) writes:

>	"It could be worse, you know.  I point out that in the same
>paragraph up there, you _also_ denied being the Messiah."  Michael
>grins just a _bit_ evilly.  "And we all know what _that_ means..."  :-)

>Always look on the bright side of life,
>Michael

"She's _not_ the Messiah - she's just a very naughty girl"
(with apologies to Monty Python)

Splash!

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
From: henry@netcom.com (Henry Polard)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Humor (was prejudice)
Date: 12 Dec 92 20:10:58 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)

In article <1992Dec12.130904.6137@e2big.mko.dec.com> pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan) writes:
>In article <1992Dec11.163118.22280@netcom.com>, henry@netcom.com (Henry Polard) writes:
>|> In article <1992Dec10.191209.484@data-io.com> li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus) writes:
>|> >In article <104394@bu.edu> mjmh@crsa.bu.edu (Michael J M Holmes) writes:
>|> >>"Anyway, he made a really strong case, and no one could
>|> >>come up with even one counter-example [of humor - HP] that didn't have
>|> >>at least some element of pain, or wasn't at someone's
>|> >>expense or humiliation."
>|> >
>|> >"Puns." said Liralen.  "Puns don't have any of the above.
>|> >I think it's the main reason they're a staple of this Place."
>|> 
>|> You mean the dazed people here are not inebriated, but merely
>|> pun-drunk? It is a point to punder.
 [puns deleted to sve bloodshed]
>|> See what I mean?
>|> 
>|> --Henry Polard, the happy sadist.
>|> 
>
>Starknight sticks his head in through an Xwindow.  "Did I hear yet another
>punderous punorama of punishment?"  (LOL, GD&R)

Yes- so was it pain or pleasure (or something else) that
drew your attention?

Can you think of a pun that does not arouse pain on the part of the
hearer, or humor that is based neither on pain nor humiliation?

BTW, what does <LOL, GD&R> mean?

 Henry Polard, | Your golden wine is sweet, my friend,   / from _Banished
  Wordslinger  | come fill my cup with amber.           / Immortal_
  Have Brains  | If we drink long enough together,      \ Visions of Li T'ai-Po
  Will Travel  | we'll drown the loneliness of strangers \ Tr. by Sam Hamill
From: HC61@lafibm.lafayette.edu (HC61000)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: The pair
Date: 19 Dec 92 22:07:51 GMT
Organization: Lafayette College
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <mPmZVB5w165w@cybernet.cse.fau.edu> ekho@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (amanda rothman) writes:
>keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!) writes:
>[Introduction Deleted
>Amanda and drags Splash over to the hot tub... SPLASH Splash           h!
>"What'll you have?" inquires Ekho with a rather nasty grin.
Don't you mean 'Splish Splash'? <ducks>
Chris
>.
>.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jpalmer@onetouch.COM (John Palmer)
Subject: Re: Humor (was prejudice)
Organization: MCS/OneTouch, Inc.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 16:34:04 GMT

keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!) writes:

>pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler) writes:

>>"Plus, I think some people *deserve* pain and humiliation.  Some deserve
>>*Plenty* of it.  

>Uhhh ... I disagree.  I don't feel that _anybody_ deserves pain and
>humiliation ... they might create it for themselves, but not deserve it,
>no matter how much they inflict it on others.  IMHO, of course  :-)

Hmmm.  Just to put in my own opinion, not to argue, I figure everyone
'deserves' to learn when they are doing evil, or to be stopped, whatever it
takes.  I don't believe, however, that ANYONE has the wisdom to apply the
'whatever it takes', even if they are forced to.

    E.g. if a person goes around punching people in the face, if they have to
get punched back to stop them, they 'deserve' that. . . hell, they worked for
it, they earned it!  (But this stops short of arbitrarily decided upon
punishments. . . why do they call it a 'justice system' instead of a
'systematic process to exact revenge against those who do not follow our
arbitrary legal code'?)

    But that is, again, my opinion. . .

                                              John/The Crazyman

-- 
John Palmer					jpalmer@onetouch.COM
Columbus, OH					...!uunet!onetouch!jpalmer
Newsgroups: alt.callahans