From: jgacker@news.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Subject: B&B: Normal Tuesday drama
Summary:  I'd rather be swimming 
Keywords:  kiss to end the scene
Organization: Goddard Space Flight Center
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 21:58:43 GMT


     Yowzers fans, it's late and I have to get home and
nurse my poor sore throat (I didn't come home with just a
bride-to-be last week, I got a cold too), so today's update
is not guaranteed to be a gut-buster.  But you never know.

     Tuesday on "Zer Beuld and Zer Byustful"

     (Thank you to our reader in Holland who indicated that
Brooke, pronounced "Broek", means trousers in the Dutch
language, and Ridge, pronounced "Rits", means zipper.  Is
this appropriate or what?)

     IT'S ILLUMINATING BEING IN THE DARK

     In Eric's office, the hungry press is getting another
press conference.  Seems Belief is a tad expensive, and
TrouserTime is working on cut-rate Belief, called "Maybe".
More pictures.  Eric wants to introduce Sheila to the press,
and calls her up.  Up she comes, and as she opens the door,
lots and lots of flashbulbs go off!  NOOOOOOO!  Sheila
yells, dodging, bucking and weaving, and hopefully ruining
the shots.  Please, Eric, no press!  She exits into the
hall.  Eric calls "time-out" while OffWithMyTrousers is
showing how pregnant she is, posing with the models.  They
leave, but Mr. Slimy Photog gets Brooke alone, and gives her
the pic and the negative.  He wants it back, but Brooke
nixes, saying she owes him one (he wanted to publish).
After he leaves, she says the picture is the key to getting
Zipperfish back in her life!
     Meanwhile, Sheila is explaining to Eric that she's a
shy girl and doesn't want to expose herself -- to public
scrutiny, that is.  Behind the green door, who knows?
Eric's curious and wants an explanation, but Sheila dodges
with more words.  Well, Eric warns her, you'd better get
used to it, because the L.A. papparazzi are like kids at a
Chuckie Cheese parlor!  They're ravenous and out of control!
He asks how Sheila was going to model the showstopper, and
she says she was going to "try".  Better get ready to be
shown off, Eric warns her, and they share some emotion and
some lip time.

     YOU ALWAYS LIKE BROTHER CARTER BETTER

     Back in the nurse's office, pensive Sheila worries
about Lauren seeing her living, breathing, passionate body
next to Eric in a trade mag.  That would not be good!  How
am I going to convince you, Lauren?  She thinks "maybe it's
a good time to call Mommy and tell her that I'm not Burning
In Hell."  She dials, but Mommy is not home.  We flashback
to when Mommy tells her that she figured the baby swap, that
Lauren's baby isn't Lauren's blood and now she knows why
every time she mentions the "birthmark" around Sheila, the
house gets a new skylight!  Sheila suggests that Mommy is
around the bend on this one, and she'd better get a grip
before she goes up the river!  Flashforward to Sheila
figuring that convincing Mommy she's an angel will tip the
tables in her favor with Lauren.

     SCHMALTZ BY THE POOL WITH THE OLDSTERS

     As Lawrence Welk plays softly in the background, Jack
and Stephanie, in post-swim terrycloth robes, watch the
sunset.  They drink wine.  Stephanie turns around and finds
that Jack's eyes are not on the horizon, but rather on the
canyon.  You weren't watching the sunset!  she accuses.
Caught me.  As the sun slowly slips into the brown L.A. haze
(this is a Seger song, I know it), Stephanie tells Jack that
there's an old Anasazi Indian legend that if you wish as the
sun flickers its last, you get what you wish for!  Try it.
Jack clenches his eyes, wishing that Stephanie would join
Nutri-System, but When he opens his eyes/She's still the
same size.  Nonetheless, he then surprises her with a
diamond pendant.  She says it's the most beautiful thing I
own as Jack puts it on her neck and then plants a major one
on her.  They sink to the pool deck, embracing...

     MAYBE I COULD WEAR A MASK?  NAWW, THEY'D RECOGNIZE THE
HAIR

     On the beach, Zach and Felicia contemplate the
conundrum they're in.  If we tell Stephanie that I'm Jack's
son and Taylor's brother, then Stephanie will add it all up,
figure the angles, come to an understanding, see the light,
have a revelation, etc. that smilin' Jack is actually the
scumbag who gambled away his family fortunes and family
respect.  Felicia admits that he's right, but wants to share
him with the rest of the family (sounds kinky, but I imagine
the ol' Zipper is ready for anything).  She agrees that they
can't go public with the relationship right now.  He says
don't worry, I won't lose anything I love.  She says do you
know how much I love you?  More osculation follows.

     Tune in next time, when we're unlikely to here Zach
reveal:
     "Besides, if we tell Stephanie who I really am, she'll
figure out that me and Jack both used to be on "General
Hospital"! "


     Jim "not up to my usual form, but functioning" Acker
     jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov