From: perry@apollo.hp.com (Jim Perry)
Subject: Re: Where it came from (was Re: Survey)
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 20:43:02 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Corporation, Chelmsford, MA

In article <JHI.92Sep1222717@vipunen.hut.fi> jhi@vipunen.hut.fi (Jarkko Hietaniemi) writes:
>
>>   Naah, just catch the signals and ignore them!  Unix even has undead
>>   processes...
>
>> Reminds me of the story of someone wearing an old Unix T-shirt in a bar
>> in Texas.  Unfortunately I don't have a copy of the story...
>
>If someone has a copy of that story, I'd like to see it too.
>I had it but it got lost in some frenzy of cleaning up the disk...
>
>++jhi;
>

My copy of this came from mailing list to mailing list to...; I've
deleted a passel of routing and rerouting information -- I don't know
the ultimate origin.
**********************************
 
The following is a true story.  
 
Last week I walked into a local "home style cookin' restaurant/watering hole"
to pick up a take out order.   I spoke briefly to the waitress behind the
counter, who told me my order would be done in a few minutes.  
 
So, while I was busy gazing at the farm implements hanging on the walls, I was
approached by two, uh, um... well, let's call them "natives".  These guys
might just be the *original* Texas rednecks -- complete with ten-gallon hats,
snakeskin boots and the pervasive odor of cheap beer and whiskey.
 
"Pardon us, ma'am.  Mind of we ask you a question?"
 
Well, people keep telling me that Texans are real friendly, so I
nodded.
 
"Are you a Satanist?"
 
Well, at least they didn't ask me if I liked to party.
 
"Uh, no, I can't say that I am."
 
"Gee ma'am.  Are you *sure* about that?" they asked.
 
I put on my biggest, brightest Dallas Cowboys cheerleader smile and said, "No,
I'm positive.  The closest I've ever come to Satanism is watching Geraldo."
 
"Hmm.  Interesting. See, we was just wondering why it is you have the lord of
darkness on your chest there."
 
I was *this close* to slapping one of them and causing a scene -- then I
stopped and noticed the T-shirt I happened to be wearing that day.  Sure
enough, it had a picture of a small, devilish looking creature that has for
quite some time now been associated with a certain operating system.  In this
particular representation, the creature was wearing sneakers.
 
They continued: "See, ma'am, we don't exactly *appreciate* it when people show
off pictures of the devil. Especially when he's lookin' so friendly."
 
These idiots sounded terrifyingly serious.
 
Me: "Oh, well, see, this isn't really the devil, it's just, well, it's sort of 
a
mascot."
 
Native: "And what kind of football team has the devil as a mascot?"
 
Me: "Oh, it's not a team.  It's an operating-- uh, a kind of computer."
 
I figured that an ATM machine was about as much technology as these guys could
handle, and I knew that if I so much as uttered the word "unix" I would only
make things worse.
 
Native: "Where does this satanical computer come from?"
 
Me: "California.  And there's nothing satanical about it really."
 
Somewhere along the line here, the waitress has noticed my predicament -- but
these guys probably outweighed her by 600 pounds, so all she did was look at
me sympathetically and run off into the kitchen.
 
Native: "Ma'am, I think you're lying.  And we'd appreciate it if you'd leave
the premises now."
 
Fortunately, the waitress returned that very instant with my order, and they
agreed that it would be okay for me to actually pay for my food before I left.
While I was at the cash register, they amused themselves by talking to each
other.
 
Native #1: "Do you think the police know about these devil computers?"
 
Native #2: "If they come from California, then the FBI oughta know about
'em."
 
They escorted me to the door.  I tried one last time: "You're really blowing
this all out of proportion.  A lot of people use this "kind of computers".
Universities, researchers, businesses.  They're actually very useful."
 
Big, big, BIG mistake.  I should have guessed at what came next.
 
Native: "Does the government use these devil computers?"
 
Me: "Yes."
 
Another BIG boo-boo.
 
Native: "And  does the government *pay* for 'em? With *our* tax dollars?"
 
I decided that it was time to jump ship.
 
Me: "No.  Nope.  Not at all.  You're tax dollars never entered the picture at
all.  I promise.  No sir, not a penny. Our good Christian congressmen would
never let something like that happen.  Nope.  Never. Bye."
 
Texas.  What a country.
-- 
Jim Perry   	    	    	    Distributed Object Computing Program
perry@apollo.hp.com	    	    Hewlett-Packard Co., Chelmsford MA
This is the way the breakfast ends, not with a wimp but a banger.