HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Bloom County (was Re: CompuSnobs (was: Hair))
Date: 7 Nov 1992 22:44:22 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <Nov.7.17.07.15.1992.5698@math.rutgers.edu> jdare@math.rutgers.edu (James Ananda Dare) writes:
>
>Peeve: I thought I knew *everything* about Bloom County.
>
>!Peeve: This gives me an excuse to get all of my Bloom County books
>and re-read them.

Peeve: Bloom County.

Bloom County is the American equivalent of Monty Python -
ten years ago it was funny.  Today it is most definitely
a corpse.  

Those who insist upon exhumation should not be surprised 
at the results.

c
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Gubmint Peeves
Keywords: VA, USPS, Niners
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 92 19:54:34 GMT

In <lg13soINNoc9@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>In article <1992Nov10.001137.4054@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu 
>(Bill Berbenich) writes:

>>Later - B School registration peeves and attendant sit-in protests
>>at said B School.  It's been a fucking day to remember, let me tell
>>you.

>>Sorry I'm not my usual sunny, rosy self.  If you don't like it you
>>can just LUMP IT!  I MEAN it!  L-U-M-P it!!!!

>Hey Bill!  Great game Monday night, huh?

That's real clever, Geoff.  Well you and every other Forty-Whiner fan can
just BITE me.  B-I-T-E me!
--
I'd rather be in an office than a pillory,
George can screw Barbara, I'm voting for Hillary
-seen on a women's bathroom wall in a Santa Cruz saloon
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Subject: False economy
Summary: approach maximum loads with caution
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 04:21:08 GMT
Organization: Halflett-Packet
Keywords: we don' need no steenking compensators!


There are snack areas at several places in this building where you can get
free coffee, hot chocolate, or tea.  I'm constantly coming across half-used
packets of hot chocolate mix and half-used packets of sugar.  Some bright
person felt that if they put back the half they didn't use, then someone
else would use it and it wouldn't be wasted.  Unfortunately, human behaviour
being what it is, few people ever take a half-used packet -- after all,
our co-workers might have poisoned that packet or they might have Republican
cooties and shouldn't be trusted.

At the end of the day all these packets get tossed out.  It seems to me that
if these Thrifty Individuals would simply TAKE THE DAMN PACKET TO THEIR DESK
to use later, they'd accomplish their intended economy.

-Dave

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: the Devil's Day
Date: 10 Nov 92 02:21:42 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard


>From the conservative bastion of Willamette valley, tim@physics.orst.edu writes:

> [Madonna's] taking porn that anyone could buy for $2.50 at the
> closest newsstand and unloading at $50 a pop to the upper middle class...

I don't understand it; Madonna isn't a very attractive woman either.  I'd
rather see nude photos of Tipper Gore in a bed of broccoli.

-Dave
From: henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Courier eeeeeeediot Peeve
Date: 10 Nov 1992 05:43:23 GMT
Organization: U. C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
NNTP-Posting-Host: headcrash.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov9.132952.8738@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>In article <1dkh61INNlm6@agate.berkeley.edu>, henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken) writes:
>> Hopefully, Mike, you will freeze to death.  Maybe then you'll stop posting
>> the inane crap you've been polluting this newsgroup with.
>> 
>> Peeve: He probably won't do either. 

>How interesting you and Curtis attend the same institution, Matthew. I guess 
>maybe Berkeley is where parents send their putrid squalling offspring when 
>they want to institutionalize them.

Indeed, it often is; and it's my job to teach them.  You wouldn't believe how
pathetic some of them are.  Some of the worst even still have their parents
picking out, buying, and shipping their clothes.  I know it's hard to believe,
but it's true.

>Just a notion.

Not even that.


Peeve: I wasn't anywhere nearby when Curtis went on his rodent rending rampage.


Matthew J. Henken
henken@ocf.berkeley.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: deuelpm@craft.camp.clarkson.edu (Hobbit)
Subject: Veteran's Day
Organization: Clarkson University
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 15:59:14 GMT


I've got a peeve.

People getting out of work on Veteran's Day.  If you *really* give a
damn, work your ass off on federal holidays.  Sure, people who fought in
wars did so so that you could have the freedom to sit on your butt watching
TV all day, but by doing so (to whom this applies) you are *using* our
veterans, not honoring them.

(If you work for the government, take heed.)

Pete
--
=====================================
deuelpm@craft.camp.clarkson.edu
=====================================
"*Regret* is a rough sheet to sleep on."  -Herman Brooks
From: shampton@jarthur.claremont.edu (Scott M Hampton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Space Age Outerwear
Date: 12 Nov 92 22:24:43 GMT
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711

In article <17910@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
>In article <1992Nov10.184233.8767@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>[various sarcastic comments deleted]
>
>Overcoats. Let me tell you about overcoats. They are great for shoplifting
>in if you are a kid. You can use it as a lap warmer in a cold house. Its
>great for spreading out on the grass for a picnic. Its wonderful for 
>clandestine gropings in the movie theater. You can sling it over your
>shoulders and arch your eyebrow for that theatrical effect. Its good
>for wrapping around small humans who need to be cuddled. It looks elegant
>even when ratty and beat up. You can toss it to your host or hostess
>for a comical effect, especially if the host or hostess pretends the
>thing weighs 4 metric tons. If you stay overnight at a friend's house
>and s/he does not have enough blankets, you can use your coat. You
>can keep kittens in the large pockets. If the pockets are really big,
>you can load them with stuff and have your hands free.

Hell, you haven't begun to raise the nap on the superiority of overcoats to
those nylon parka thingies. Overcoats can be worn with bermuda shorts for
the sicko-flasher look - on crowded public transit buses it guarantees a
seat!  A proper one has adequate yardage to allow you to engage in
surreptitious sexual activity in public (a really big one lets you hide a
partner). The copious pockets allow one to carry all manner of protective
gear and toys for such occasions. A good overcoat will hide the Winchester
12 gauge AND the .45 auto and still leave room to carry lots of extra ammo.
Properly used, a heavy overcoat is nigh unto knife proof and itself
qualifies as a weapon. Best of all, with an overcoat you can go days without
changing your clothes!

Minor Peeve: Noisy clothes. Nylon jackets, ski clothes, lycra. All those
shiny synthetic extruded clothesware things sold to fashion conscious
nitwits. Ski clothes, especially, are particularly annoying. Too add visual
assault to aural distress, the damn things are usually done in aniline
dayglow never fade dyes, the type that announce their color before the
wearer is visible. Is there a plot on the part of the fabric factory types
to makes us lose our appreciation for simple and subtle colors like
fire-engine red and safety yellow? These pinker than pink radioactive
high-rad clothes are moving into color values best measured in multiples of
LD-50 (lethal dose). And the patterns, my gods, the patterns......

Whatinhell happened to clothes made from dead animals and rotted plant
fibers? The only consolation for acrylic is that the manufacturing process
pollutes.

-- 

Scott M. Hampton        (aka Woulffe)       shampton@jarthur.claremont.edu
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Space Age Outerwear
Date: 11 Nov 92 21:44:52 -0400
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1dppotINNqhe@agate.berkeley.edu>, curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:
> In article <1992Nov10.184233.8767@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>>
>>I almost laughed out loud when I read about your notion of an overcoat.  
>>Finnish army surplus.  My, what excellent  taste in clothes you have.  
> 
> I believe the word you're looking for is "poor."
> 
> Those of us for whom Daddy no longer pays the bills cannot
> afford Chesterfields and what not.

Good heavens, Curtis! My parents are not rich. They just seem to care about
me more than yours do about you. See, My parents (Unlike yours apparently) 
would feel *badly* if I froze. If My parents were rich, I would not be
in debt up to my ears because I am trying to pay my own way, nor would I
have to try to balance a full courseload with what amounts to damnn ear a full 
time job.

> Ooh!  Ooh, you're just so... mean!  Ooh!
> 

There there Curtis. I'm fairly certain *someone* out there will accept you 
for who you are. I expect if you start looking right now, you might even find 
that person before your karma catches up with you.

> God forbid some sausage-farmer from Saskatoon should call me a "freak."

Cutris, do try to keep your mental image of me straight. Either I am a spoiled
rich kid, or I am a hayseed. I can't possibly be both.

 Providence is the American
> equivalent of Halifax - a sort of northern dingleberry on the
> butthole of life.  It also has cold winters.

However, you now live in California, and I really doubt their winters are as
bad as ours.

> Uh huh.  I'll keep that in mind.

Curtis, if you really have a mind, I would be very shocked. Perhaps a more 
accurate expresion would be 'I'll keep it in phlegm.'

> Do you know where I can get one of those raccoon hats?
> You make them sound so... so nifty.

I'm certain I could mail you some of the local roadkill. It might even go with 
your coat.

kisses N higs N such

Mike
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: President (teehee) Clinton
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 17:03:34 GMT

In <1992Nov5.095448.8638@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:

>Moroney has to call an election in under 8 months now.

>Muahahahahahahaha! I don't know about the other Canucks in the crowd, but *I*
>can't wait to vote...

>Peeve: so far, there's nobody worth voting for on the national scene. Cretien
>and Audrey are non entities. I wonder why that is...

Eight months from now?  Hmmm... Both Bush _and_ Perot will be out of jobs by 
then, and probably looking for work (and a smaller electorate to spend 
campaign money on).  What the hell... what do you have to lose?
--

Tom Dennis                    |  I looked into the abyss,
dennis@alexia.uiuc.edu        |    and the abyss looked into me--
tadg0614@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu     |      and we both winked.
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: FRATBOYZ (Was: A quick biology lesson)
Date: 6 Nov 1992 00:55:35 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <Bx96Lr.1K0@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>
>   "Hmmm...", I thought. "That's really boring.It's not only dull, but it 
>certainly isn't funny..."

And this pithy witball is dispensed by whom?

Steve Franklin, Master Twit.

That's right.  Some of you may be unfamiliar with the previous activities
of this man Franklin.  He may even "sucker" you into believing that
he is an innocent "newbie."

Do not be deceived.

In fact, Franklin is the spider tugging the webstrings of the greatest
international twit conspiracy since the infamous "Whitlock Cabal."
This man has a rap sheet longer than Banta's ManTool.  He has been found
guilty of Gross Twittery, and summarily ejected, from 50 newsgroups and the
District of Columbia.

What do we decent, law-abiding citizens of alt.peeves think?  Do we want
this nefarious character polluting this great newsgroup of ours with the
banal jello he so casually dispenses?

I think I speak for the entire a.p community when I say:

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Good night, Steve.  Sweet dreams.  Lie on your belly, and
don't forget to keep your butt hemorrhages well-iced.

c
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Subject: Re: "Impact"
Reply-To: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Organization: Do they make a washing powder called Caliban Automatic?
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 21:47:30 GMT

In article <1992Nov6.095539.27706@merlin.comlab.ox.ac.uk> library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell) writes:
>
>Guy Fawkes Night is when we celebrate his capture and subsequent execution.
>As a Cafflick ol' Guy wanted to escape persecution by blowing up a Scotsman,
>James the VI (of Scotland) and I (of England).
>

Some of us celebrate the man himself, and wish to see his like again
soon; I'm no fan of Catholicism, but anyone who wants to blow up the
Houses of Parliament while in session is my friend.
  __                                ____
\/ o\ Paul Crowley pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk \  /
/\__/ "I'm the boy without a soul"   \/
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: False economy
Keywords: we don' need no steenking compensators!
Date: 12 Nov 92 18:12:49 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <BxL5F8.ABD@vcd.hp.com> dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe) writes:

>Unfortunately, human behaviour being what it is, few people ever take a 
>half-used packet -- after all, our co-workers might have poisoned that 
>packet or they might have Republican cooties and shouldn't be trusted.


I see the same thing here with both products, and also with donuts on
Wednesdays.  (Nested peeve: we used to have better donuts, as well as
croissants and bear claws, back in the halcyon days of `88 and `89, but
entropy took its inevitable toll.)

Have you ever noticed that when people buy a newspaper at a vending machine,
they never want to take the top copy?  I don't understand this -- like you
said, it's as though they fear it has cooties.  Another weird fetish I've
noticed is the way some people won't answer a phone in mid-ring.  They'll
place their hand on it, but they won't actually lift the handset until the
pause between rings.


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Liberal Toadies
Date: 6 Nov 92 19:39:40 GMT
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu
Organization: Up the,

In article <27798@castle.ed.ac.uk>, jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson) writes:
|> Apropos of nothing, a bit more peeving about how Winnie Churchill
|> gets to be lauded as a military genius.
|> 
|> Q) Whose idea was it to invade Russia from the NORTH in 1919 ??
|> 
|> Q) Whose idea was it to surreptitiously (sp?) load the Lusitania
|> with munitions and let it float around without an escort in 1915 ??
|> 
|> Yep, you guessed it, the fat git with a cigar.
|> 

Don't forget that smashing holiday in Gallipolli.  I think you should
have changed the subject line to Conservative Toadie.

For those in the tasteless crowd, I dreamt for the second time last
night that my grandmother served me tofu fried in CURRY sauce as a topping
for Vanilla ice cream.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"The ripples of sand at his feet suddenly looked like the motionless
 crests of waves.  Supposing they were sound waves, what kind of 
 music would they give? he wondered.  Maybe even a human being could
 sing such a song ... if tongs were driven into his nose and slimy
 blood stopped up his ears ... if his teeth were broken one by one 
 with hammer blows, and splinters jammed into his urethra ... if a
 vulva were cut away and sewn onto his eyelids.  It might resemble
 cruelty, and then again it might be a little different."
				  -Kobo Abe _The Woman_in_the_Dunes_	
------Tim Mefford  tim@physics.orst.edu-----------------------------
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Bloody BT
Date: 6 Nov 92 16:52:17 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Edinburgh University

peeve: stupidity on the part of British industry.

My general attitude as regards bills is to pay them, in full, as soon as
practicable. However, weird flatmates can easily scupper this plan.

The phone bill arrived a couple of weeks back. It is in my name since
I'm the leaseholder. So I take a look. 232 Pounds. Hmmm sounds a lot for
just ten weeks. I check the phone kitty and find almost 50 Pounds. Using
a well developed financial acumen, I conclude that there's a
discrepancy.

On investigation, the discrepancy seems to involve 180 Pounds worth of
calls to a long number. This number turns out to be long because it has
as a prefix, the international dialing code for Spain. 

Now a couple of years back, I saw my flatmate at the airport with a
spanish girl. The mystery is solved. Elementary my dear Watson.

My flatmate is duly informed that he owes me 180 Pounds for the
telephone bill. Said flatmate has a less than keen attitude to bills and
so duly, a red telephone bill arrives threatening to cut off
our....phone if we don't cough up in five days.

My flatmate is threatened with some cutting off that's a little more
personal and within a couple of days I receive a cheque for the hotline
to Spain.

Now all I have to do is go to the bank, pay in the cheque and pay off
the phone bill at the same time.

Not!

I cycle to the bank in the rain, still unaware that there can be any
problem. I've done this sort of transaction for years. the only
difference is in the colour of ink on the bill.

Not!

It transpires that the bill lacks a "sort code". This seems to be a
magical number that enables the bank to route the money I authorise to
be paid to BT, to the bank of BT itself.

Red bills, it seems, don't have these.

So, just to get this clear in my mind: When BT get worried that you
aren't going to pay your bill, they send out a red one warning that you
better pay in five days or else. Cunningly though, they leave from this
bill, a number essential to the actual payment. 

Bt is obviously being run by people from The Twilight Zone.

Personally, I blame Jeremy.

FoFP
From: bill@wabworld.atl.ga.us (Angus MacPeevy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Australian peeves
Date: Sun, 08 Nov 92 23:28:59 EST
Distribution: world
Organization: Shaque d'Amour

9051467f@levels.unisa.edu.au (The Eidolon) writes:

> +-----------------------------------------------------+    ________
> |  Obligatory disclaimer: UniSA hates my opinions...  |  \/Darwin o\
> +-----------------------------------------------------+  /\________/
--------------------------------->>>>>

Want to give 'em some shoes, dre?
--
"I'm not only the Hair Club president, but I'm also a client."
  -Sy Sperling
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: More sputtle from Steve Franklin
Date: 10 Nov 92 20:13:15 GMT
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst

I got this from Stevie.  Although he seems to have unsubscribed from this
group (see the line about most people liking his article, surely he
must have missed all the complaints about it posted in this group), I
thought it was the appropriate venue for response.

--------------------------forwarded message------------------------------------

>From franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca Tue Nov 10 14:45:36 1992
>From: Steve Franklin <franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca>
>To: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu

>Hmm - that was a poor flame I"m afriad. First of all, you're one of ht
>the only people who didn't like the article - calling it "stupid" or whatever
>is a poor way to ignore the fact that you could never give it a half -decent
>follow up. 

No where near as effective as saying "poor flame," eh, stevie boy?

>   Oh, and one more thing - I am not a frat boy - go figger huh? I abhor
>frats. I do not like what the represent, and they are not for a person like
>me. 

They wouldn't let you join in their reindeer games, eh?  It must be really
defeating knowing that even a bunch of beer-swilling sexist pigs with
the collective intelligence of a sea cucumber wouldn't accept you as one
of their own.  Keep trying though, Stevie, maybe you can join Geeks Anonymous
and start working to overcome these failures in your personality.

>Oh, and one more thing - if you're so concerned with my treatment of women,
>realize that I date women that would dance cerebral circles around you - 
>and apparently they enjoy my company. go figger huh?

The visual imagery of the type of porcine freaks that would deign to date
youdancing in some psychotic frenzy, scalps peeled back to expose their
pre-Simian brains is a truly delightful one.  I thank you for sharing with
us the concept of "The Dance of the Cerebral Circles."

>  ah well, have a nice day, and drink canadian beer.

Nah, I prefer my own, thanks for the offer though.

>steve
   
    <pathetic atttempt at humor in the form of a subliminal sig deleted>


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Freddy Freeloader)
Subject: Re: paradigm = death
Keywords: PARE DIME 
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Indigents' Benevolent and Protective Association
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 17:13:28 GMT


In article <1992Nov8.032103.24146@ariel.ec.usf.edu>, boneham@sunburn.ec.usf.edu. (Kevin Boneham (CH)) writes:
[stuff]
|>if i see the word 'paradigm' once more, heads will roll.....

Brother, can you paradigm?

--
Nolan "Can't spare the time" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Re: Halfwits.
Followup-To: alt.halfwit.hoser.wank.wank.wank
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<1dn9rqINNd0v@agate.berkeley.edu> <BxIrww.44J@cs.dal.ca>
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 00:15:41 GMT

<In article <BxIrww.44J@cs.dal.ca> smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:

<Why don't you post "rules" for alt.peeves, then? 

	Rule No. 1: No Halfwit Hosers.

ObPeeve: newbies that don't RTFM.