HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Well?? (Was: Lowest Common Denominator (Was: Boss Peeve))
Date: 8 Oct 92 20:30:27 GMT
	<9209280110.aa09543@crisco.sco.COM>
	<1992Sep28.213723.1349@parsifal.umkc.edu>
	<lch0ejINN3as@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> <lch9pvINN9d@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>
	<ATAYLOR.92Oct1151837@gauss.nmsu.edu>
	<1992Oc
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory

In article <ATAYLOR.92Oct8123630@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
    <In article <1992Oct2.032322.27090@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:

    <   In <ATAYLOR.92Oct1151837@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:

    <   >	When in Las Cruces, eat at Dick's Cafe.....pulp
    <   >	novel, it ain't.

    <   There's a joke in there somewhere.

    <   I just know it...

	    Well? Out with it, man!

    ObPeeve: joke-teases.

 Well, in Las Cruces, when asked where we are having lunch, we often say:

	 "We're gonna Dick it today."

 (Was that anywhere close?)

 Or, other times we just say:

	 "Hat!"

    (..)
     ~~
 L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Think of it: very nearly half of the U.S. population is below average.
From: jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Fix or repair daily
Keywords: (polenta, grits), complex carbohydrate
Date: 10 Oct 92 21:33:11 GMT
Organization: Dark Satanic Mills

donita@scic.intel.com (Donita Thompson) writes:
>I just got back from lunch. On the way back here there was this
>idiot in a Ford pickup truck in front of me that had his right 
>signal light on for MILES! I *hate* it when people don't turn 
>off their blinkers. It makes me want to seriously slap them!
>
Granted, I live in a place with relatively few cars and a high
ambient level of DrivingIdiocy.  But how in fact do you nudge these
people out of autopilot mode?  Suggestions?

I have to confess that I've done this more than once.  I own a late
model Ford pickup and offer the following excuse:  The audio feedback
for the turn signals is so faint that even the fan drowns it out, and
the blinker lights are tiny and almost invisible in daylight.  This
is no consolation when I discover I've been driving the last twenty
miles with a "SLAP ME NOW, I'M BRAINDEAD" sign on my truck.

>No, wait...that's not my worst peeve. Door-to-door christian
>sellers of religion are the worst. I'm glad I moved to the country.
>They don't come out there to the mountains. They're probably 
>afraid that they'll get shot and buried out back. <wicked grin>

Heh.  Heh.  Heh.  They don't come out to the mountains.  They *live*
there, and are your neighbors who you really can't afford to piss off
with a response like, "No, I'm already a priestess in my coven"
because of that smalltown community mutual reliance thing.  The 
Jehovahs got me twice in three years, and I doubt 1000 people live
within a 20-mile radius of my house.  

GodPeeve:  The local Christians are now holding services in the fire
station.  If they aren't paying rent, I just may start that religion
I've kept on the back burner, and ask for equal time.

DogPeeve:  Tapeworms.  Hunters leave little souvenirs, called gutbags,
behind them.  Elk eat grass, and nontrivial amounts of their own shit,
and pass tapeworms around like chicken pox at Sunday School.  Dogs
are lovable but tasteless characters, and chow down on the gutbags
(when they're not goosing porcupines, or rolling in cowshit or dead
rabbits).  And thanks to their diligent anal hygeine, a good case
of tapeworms is forever.  OTC wormers don't touch tapeworms.  Time
for a 25-mile trip to the vet.

These supremely evolved ugly bags of mostly ovaries don't kill or even
seriously bother their hosts.  I'm not sure why the excreted segments
need to wriggle around, though.  Maybe it makes them more appetizing.

This really should be in alt.tasteless, but hell, half of that group
will see it here anyway.

Jenny




-- 
"Let's go out and kill something - maybe that'll work out 
some of this aggression."  -R. Kepler
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: Fleas
Organization: peevish, at best
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 23:08:20 GMT

In article <1992Oct13.005254.4997@igor.tamri.com> donb@igor.tamri.com
(Don Baldwin) writes:
>My peeve for today is:  Parasites.

A parasite is just a predator that consumes its prey in quantities of
less than one.

>Look at the food chain in general.

Peeve: Being below mosquitoes on the food chain.

++++++++++++++++++++Seth      sethb@fid.morgan.com+++++++++++++++++++++++
I was so groggy one morning after a night of partying that I had to go to
the bathroom and run some water down the sink drain so I could tell which
hemisphere I was in.
-- Geoff Miller
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Esoteric Skinhead O'Connor (Was stuff about Mac D's)
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 11:22:11 GMT

In article <1asgoaINNfkl@bigboote.WPI.EDU> padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:
>In article <1992Oct6.111639.7977@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>>>
>>This reminds me. My aunt told me that Skinhead was on Saturday Night Live 
>>a while back, and was singing with a lot of Jewish religious things around her
>>(I don't know what sort of things she had as props, since I don't know anyone>>who is Jewish... not counting a couple of net-people). Anyway, at the end of 
>>the song she holds up a picture of the Pope, which she rips to shreds, and says
>>"Let's fight the real enemy." Does anyone know what the HELL she was talking 
>>about?
>
>
>I didn't understand her point either, but apparently, she has always believed
>that organized religion is evil and somehow responsible for her being 
>abused as a child. How organized religion is too concerned with material
>things. Maybe she'll choke on all the dough she's raked up in the last few
>years.
>
I've go this amazing comic book put out by the 7th DAy Adventist church, in
they present a lot of bible verse and such to prove that the Pope is the
AntiChrist.  The comic book format is great, because it allows such visuals
as the Catholic Church as the Whore of Babylon.

Probably the most entertaining argument they put forth is numerological.
Seems the Pope's official title is Vicarius Filii Dei, which means Vicar
of the Son of God - it used to be printed on his Mitre, so of the Catholic
equivalent of a press card, I guess.  Anyway, the Adventists translate all
the Cs, Vs Ds and Is in to Roman Numerals with this result:

V =   1   F         D = 500
I =   5   I =  1    E
C = 100   L = 50    I =   1
A         I =  1        ----
R         I =  1         501
I =   1      ----
V =   5       53
S
     ----
     112


And, we all know what 112 + 53 + 501 is.


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 92 13:56:58 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203

In article <1992Oct14.132945.28573@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:
>banta@abingdon.(242 lb Queen Bitch Net. God) writes:
>>
>>There's no punchline left, Mik, er, Scotty.  Any of your limp
>>
>Name's Scott.  If you're going to do nothing but incessantly bitch,
>at least spell my name right.

That, Scotty-Wotty, was likely a mistake. That's okay though,
Scotto, I'm sure none of us here would do something as childish
as play name games with you, Scot. In fact, Scooter, one suspects
this little slip, this revelation that it bothers you to have
your name defaced, won't come back to haunt you at all. That make
you feel better, Scottles?

>Peeve: In '78, during the real estate speculation craze, my brother
>and I bought a run down 2 bedroom, 1 bath house in San Francisco
>located in a colored(tm Geoff) part of town between City College
>and SF State.  We paid 20,000, and sold 4 months later for 40,000.
>This summer, I went back to visit and found the neighborhood had
>been taken over by yuppies.  The little 20,000 shack was now worth
>150,000.

Look at it this way, at least you got out of the neighbhorhood
before things got ugly. 

The worst yuppies are the religious ones. These bozos actually go
out and choose their churches on utilitarian grounds. They talk
about "socialization Value" and a good environment for the
children.


<<digression>>
Allow me to pause here, and comment that I am not religious. In
fact, I view my baptism (done when I was a few weeks old), as
a damanable invasion of privacy, in which the archaic rites
of a dangerous cult were perpetrated upon my helpless infant 
self.
<<digression ends>>

Is it just me, or are there others who think that if you're gonna
genuflect to some spook, you really ought to feel a little more
involved? Some faith perhaps? A little fervour? Some bible-
smashing, witch-burning, proselytising, sweating, revival tent
style RELIGION!!!!!!

C'mon you yuppie scum, can't you grab some integrity in 
*anything* you do?

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Peaceful Kanada? (Was: speed trap)
Date: 8 Oct 92 19:45:04 GMT
	<1992Oct5.185932.11958@access.usask.ca>
Distribution: alt.peeves
Organization: NMSU Computer Science

<In article <1992Oct5.185932.11958@access.usask.ca> nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca (Mark Nesdoly) writes:

<Yesterday, Toronto city cops decided to not issue speeding and seatbelt 
<tickets because the provincial government is trying to force them to fill out
<a full report every time they draw their weapons.  

	Huh? I thought that Toronto was a *peaceful* city; if the
	cops are drawing weapons for every speed/seatbelt stop,
	things must be a whole lot nastier than I thought.

	Heck, even the Juarez Federales don't draw for stops
	*every* time...and Juarez's murder rate was 20+ per
	100,000 population in 1991.

ObPeeve: there's probably a "reasonable" explanation for this
	 Kanadian thing and the Toronto cops aren't really
	 issueing tickets at gunpoint.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Colourful Money (Re: credit card peeve)
Keywords: Eat Me
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 92 17:16:29 GMT

In article <11@bbx.basis.com> russ@bbx.basis.com (Russ Kepler) writes:
>German marks are not all that colorful - for real color you have to go
>to the Netherlands.  Florescent colors, different for each denomination.

Actually, Swiss currency is also quite attractive.  I've carried a
Swiss 20 Franc note and a 10 S Fr note in my wallet for 6 years, ever
since my business trips  to that beautiful (if mundane) country.
The 20 S Fr note, for example, is predominantly blue, with a gorgeous
scene of a group climbing a mountain on the back.  For some odd reason,
the mountaineering scene is also superimposed by the image of a sea shell...

Peeve:  I'll probably be mugged by someone wearing lederhosen on the way
home tonight.

AntiPeeve:  Having Switzerland around as an example of a country that
probably has a higher per capita gun ownership rate than the US and very
little violence.  And their service rifles can be set to full auto!

   don
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: speed trap
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 17:29:06 GMT
Distribution: alt.peeves
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <1992Oct6.212336.399@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
|> In <ld3mnsINN952@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
|> 
|> >like jaywalking.
|> >("JAYwalking," geddit?  "Toronto?"  "Jaywalking?"  HAHAHAHAHA!  I *kill* me
|> >sometimes!  And the funny thing is, I hate baseball.)
|>              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|> We can tell.  Apparently, you hate us too, with painful remarks like that.
|> 
|> Now then, word has gotten out that the Vice Presidential debates, which we
|> all knew were going to be held in my town (and A. Jing's) Atlanta, are
|> going to be held at good ol' Georgia Tech.  Hell, I'll be able to walk
|> about two blocks to get to the auditorium where it'll be held!
|> 
|> "Screw the Braves and the World Series! Dan Quayle is coming!" - me

What a circus.  I read in the paper that Dapper Danforth phoned no less a
person the Rush Limbaugh hissef to oversee the debate. Mr. Quayle was also
quoted as saying that he would be at a "distinct disadvantage" because he
went to a public school and Gore went to a private one.  Of course, the
media pounced on *that* in a hurry and asked him if he was saying that
public schools in America were inadequate, and he had to waffle around and
say that they were doing a fine job.

I wonder if it's occurred to him that he'll be at a distinct disadvantage
because Gore is eloquent and smooth while Dan's an idiot.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dr. Pavlov's distinguished career came to an      |
|abrupt end one day when the doorbell rang and the |
|dog ate the Avon lady.                            |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Quadrophobia
Date: 9 Oct 92 16:36:42 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Oct7.173239.14830@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com 
(A. Jing Hippy) writes:

>Yeesh.  I was given a copy of "Band on the Run" on, get this, a quadrophonic
>8-track tape. 

A *quadrophonic* 8-track tape?  Are you shitting me?  That sounds like
something somebody would make up in jest, as a sort of cultural caricature
of the Seventies!  Did you listen to it while wearing a leisure suit?


>It was years before I heard all of some of those songs at the same time.

So the net result is that you never heard them at all.  (Forget I told you
this.)


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Freshers
Date: 12 Oct 92 16:03:03 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <26810@castle.ed.ac.uk> fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
>Then, on Geoff's reccommendation, I read "Parliament of Whores" and
>discovered that it's ok to be a libertarian. Not only is it ok, but
>Jeremy Doesn't Like It (JDLI). In fact, in a world like this, it's the
>only sensible option.
>
>Now I have to figure out how to tell my parents....
	My parents were chocked when I told them that I was a Libertarian.
They seemed dismayed and hurt that my upbringing had failed so badly that
I would not continue that family tradition of voting Republican. They had
already come to terms with the fact that my brother is a <gasp!> Democrat
but they were counting on me to carry their political beliefs into the
future. Luckily for me, 2 weeks later, my stepsister informed them that
she was a lesbian. The politcal pressure on my slackened quite a bit after
that.

ObPeeve: The NRA-ILA candidate ratings came out and I am listed as '?'.
Well, perhaps had they'd thought of asking me, they'd know. Luckily, the
party chairman called me up to tell me about it, so they will damned 
well know what I think.

FurtherPolitcalPeeve: The state party newsletter says that I am running
in Las Cruces. Close. That is only 200+ miles from here.

-- 
"Hey, Guido! It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and
you're the lemon merchant. Getit? And he knows it! That's why he's gonna kill
us. So we gotta beat it. Yeah, before he lets loose the marmosets on us! - Ren
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 18:38:30 GMT

In article <ldb8jrINN8s7@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:

>interesting to everyone.  Did Geoff ignore him?  No, Geoff euthanized
>him.  Mary Jacobs showed up, spouting pop psychology.  She's dead now.

Hmmmmm, euthanized and dead hey?  Who's pretending now banta?  Go back
to your GI Joe Leggo Barbie fantasy world you infintile uncreative
pustule, its past your bedtime.  Don't forget your phalic pacifier.

>Dungeons and Dragons with your geeky, goofy, hard-up, childish,
>bed-wetting friends.

Jesus, what adolescent crap...and hypocritical to boot.  Words out, banta,
you make all your friends in bathroom stalls in bus stations.

>How about if we create "Leave it to Peever" next?  You're Lumpy,
>Booter is June, Rick is Ward, Al is Wally.  Everyone else is Eddie
>Haskel.  What a happy, funny game.  Let's all join hands and skip in a
>circle.  Yippy fuckin' skippy!

Excellent banta!  Little spurt of imagination there.  Short though.
Mabey when you reach puberty you can try for 2 paragraphs.

>By the way, esp51, the word is "fuck."  "If you can't say it, you
>
Naw f**khead, I prefer the *s.  This causes mentally impared d**kwads
like you to ask their mommy, "what's this word mean?"  Slap slap.

Scott Park

Opinions are mine, I do not represent my company as spokesman.
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: credit card peeve
Date: 8 Oct 92 15:11:02 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Graham Jenkins +61 6 276 6812) writes:
(Geoff Miller) writes:
>>recording tape, Zig-Zag rolling papers <gasp!> and records by obscure artists
>>that nobody had ever heard of at the time, like Danny Kortchmar and Lou Reed.
>
>Ahh, yessssssssss, Zig-Zag papers .........

What's the big deal?  You can still buy them over the counter in 
any 7-11.  Er, um, so I've heard.

Major Antipeeve:  I can *finally* use my own machine to read news.
Look.  It should be right up there.  No more of the "blagg" shit.

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Religion & Such
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 15:15:36 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <1992Oct11.214833.7521@iscsvax.uni.edu>, hosch2263@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
|> In article <BvxEwu.L8B@nic.umass.edu>, jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
|>
|>Jesus spent a lot of time & energy trying to undo years of complication that
|>the Pharisees had put into religion.  He was disgusted by the name calling and
|>judgment passing.  He said all anyone REALLY had to do to be a good person
|>was to love God more than anything, with your neighbor coming in a close 
|>second, on a par with oneself.  I think this still stands up as about as good
|>a philosophy as has been developed.
|>
|>        Please tell the Roman Catholics this.  I grew up one, and like most of
|>them, quit when I got older.  Catholic schools are intolerant and nothing short
|>of brainwashing.  And if you think that's bad, you should be at a Roman
|>Catholic wedding.

I don't know a lot about Catholicism, but I grew up in a Southern Baptist
Church.  By all accounts, I was gonna go to hell (excuse me, Hell; it *is*
a real, physical place after all. just ask any devout Southern Baptist) for
a whole number of reasons: I wore my hair long (friend Paul says that this
is an "abomination"), I drank, I asked too many questions, I was willing to
accept Jews, Catholics, Moslems, Druids, Wiccans, whatever and discuss things
with them, allowing that they just might be *right*.

In the Southern Baptist church, you conform, or you're *wrong*.  No room for
discussion, no chance for any intellectual discussion, no "tough" questions
(tough questions are answered with "you just have to accept this on faith").
No, I don't.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dr. Pavlov's distinguished career came to an      |
|abrupt end one day when the doorbell rang and the |
|dog ate the Avon lady.                            |
+--------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 06:56:07 GMT

In <ldhlqsINN2qe@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:

>bill writes:
>>Oh well, banta is more than capable of making quick work of lackwit
>>pecksniffs such as you.  

>Is this a set-up, Bill?  I just have this vision of Scotty
>following in Mikey's footsteps, yelling "I am not a lakcwit.  I am
>not a lakcwit."

Yes it is a setup, in the volleyball sense.  Your slam.
--
"Yes, he really said that!"