Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: looking for "THE RULES"
From: meachen@med.wcc.govt.nz
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 04:20:51 GMT
Reply-To: meachen@med.wcc.govt.nz
Organization: Wellington City Council, Wgtn, NZ

In article <1992Aug12.193212.17495@cs.mun.ca>, delphine@garfield.cs.mun.ca (Delphine Au) writes:
>Hi
>
>A while ago, i saw "The Rules" but didn't know how to save it.
>
>Thank you
>
>Delphine Au
>
>-- 
>| DELPHINE  AU     | delphine@garfield.cs.mun.ca                         |
>| Computer Science | Memorial University of Newfoundland                 |
>|        Smart     :  When you only believe half of what you hear...     |
>|        Brilliant :  When you know which half to believe!!              |

Here's the full story:

		**** Iron Maidens **** (from Iron City)

You've heard I'm sure the legend about the first man and woman:One
drunken night god was feeling very lonely. So he created man, and
they had a few beers. The next afternoon he woke up and saw how
badly he fucked up, so he tried again and created woman. (about
time the fat cunt did something right.) BUT... did you know that
he went one further and created us. Yes. the women of Rock n' Roll
(and he did a fucking good job.) Women clad tightly in leather,
scantily in satin and lace, balancing on high stiletto boots. Thinkers
by day and drinkers by night. We all know that behind every rock 'n roll
start there's a fuckin' good woman keeping him from going blind. (This
includes wanna bes, have beens and will never be rock stars.) Stated
fact: Contrary to what millions of drunken metal heads believe metal
chicks were'nt put on this planet as SEX SLAVES! (but hey who's
complaining.)

Sound familar?(does this sound like your man)
You've been nagging your goddamn boyfriend to take you some place nice
for dinner (come on, its your birthday after all), finallu he agrees, but:
"Ya have to pay for yourself."
So you go out and he pulls up at McDeaths for 85c hamburgers and a drive
through coke(and the bastard expects you to be grateful.)
Quote:'Carbon becomes diamonds only because it put under incredible pressure.

But honey all the bitcin in the world aint gonna change that longhaired, beer
bellied, satanistic sleezy cunt you call a boyfriend.
And Remember....
	1. Dont let him call you his missus until you've got that <gold
           band> on your left hand and his money goes straight to <you> on
           payday.  
	2. Your average metal head man may treat you like shit around his
           mates, but we all know they are <pussycats> when you have got
           them alone. In fact you should have him wrapped so tightly 
	   around your sexy little finger, that he can count the hairs
           on his balls.
	3. and ...women weren't given periods because they deserve them. I
           reckon its a week, once a month reprieve from useless sex. (i.e:
           you average 7 second marathon man ha ha.)

	WHY WERE WOMEN CREATED

	1. Women were created so perfect because men were'nt.
	   So men who invented high heel, bras, lacy underwear and hairspray
           could become fuckin' rich.
	   So that words like slut, bitch, tart, slag, wench, chicks, babies,
           birds and girlies could be used.
	   So that men don't have to have stretch marks.
	   So dogs, sheep and chickens could be left alone.
	   So men don't have to worry about spending their money.
           So whistling isn't a waste of breath.
           So the space on the back of a Harley can be used.
	   To give bands like Iron Maiden, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, The Mentors
           <or insert name of favourite band here> etc. have something to
	   sing about.
           To give men a hard way to go.
	   To be victimised.

	   WHY WERE MEN CREATED???

	   Who the fuck cares, its not relevant.

	   THE RULES
	
	1. The female always makes the Rules.
	2. The Rules are subject to change at any time WITHOUT PRIOR
           NOTIFICATION.
	3. No MALE can possibly know the Rules.
	4. If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the rules, she must
           immediately change some of all the rules.
	5. The FEMALE is NEVER wrong.
	6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which
           was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
	7. If Rule 6 applies, the MALE must appologise IMMEDIATELY for
           causing the MISUNDERSTANDING.
	8. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.
	9. The MALE must NEVER change his mind with the expressed written
           consent of the female. 
	
--
Red          


Newsgroups: rec.humor