From: jackies@fc.hp.com (Jackie Sheddy X6958)
Subject: Re: Personal losses in CO 2
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 09:55:47 GMT
Organization: The Edge of the Final Frontier
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.3 PL6]

Bil Snodgrass (snodgras@lclark.edu) wrote:
: 
: 
: Then I asked, really thinking I knew deep in my heart how she really voted,
: how she voted on CO 2.  When she said yes on CO 2 my head swirlled in 
: disbelief.  Before the election I had several deep deep conversations with
: her about what CO 2 was about.  I shared my fears of what this measure
: and the others in this country really represented.  She asked me
: questions, the typical "I know nothing" questions and I tried to 
: give her a well balanced educational spiel.
: 
: My mother is now angry at the Gay community and says that we have no
: right to boycott Colorado.  She says that the Gays on T.V. are
: obnoxious and that we are not a minority. She said that the right
: wing fanatic groups are composed of real nice people (she lives in 
: Colorado Springs) and that they were only acting out of their hearts.
: I said that we have the right to boycott just as much as she
: and the majority of voting Coloradians had the right to vote the 
: way they felt.  It is a free country.  
: 
: 
: I could go on and on.  I couldn't believe my mother.  It really hurts.
: 
: Well I am here to say that it is just as possible for me to let go
: of them.  That I don't deserve the pain they have caused me.  That I
: shouldn't accept their ignorance on my Gayness.  That if they cannot
: share in a relationship with me that I cannot as a humanbeing support
: the relationship all on my own.
: 
: I feel like there is such a huge void in my life now.  I never thought that 
: I would have to let go of them even when I thought there might be a chance 
: of me losing them I always knew that they would be in my heart...that I 
: wouldn't have to let go.
: 
: But how can I survive as a healthy person in a relationship with people
: who read People magazine and watch Oprah (not a put down unless these
: are their sole source of information)?  
: 
: I have to let go.  They cannot or shouldn't have this power of pain
: inducement.  
: 
: As I said I could go on.  I share this mumbling with you (more so than 
: my normal) because I do not want to bring them into my life, into my
: circle of friends in essance my real family, those I have met over the 
: years.....
: 
: These relationships are what I created
: to survive, what I became part of so that I could have people with
: depth and vision in my life.  I don't have the energy any longer to
: hold on to something that only existed out of socially induced mythology.
: 
: Bil Snodgrass III

Bil;

	I experienced something similar with my folks.  I emailed you my
	account, but thought I'd post it, too.

	I  talked  to my  parents  somtime  in Dec.  They  asked  what I
	thought  about the  boycott.  I told  them I had mixed  feelings
	since I was  caught in the  middle and all.  My dad  decided  to
	tell me EXACTLY  what  rights he thought  gays  should NOT have.
	About  that  time,  I got  *REAL*  pissed.  We  got  into  a big
	arguement  and he kind of backed  it up with a "Sorry,  but...."
	spiel.

	My mom tried to appologize for him and I told her that it wasn't
	her place to  appologize  for him.  Needless  to say, I, too, am
	hurt and  angry.  I just don't feel as close to my parents  as I
	used to.

--
Regards,

Jackie
jackies@hpxxx.fc.hp.com
Hate is NOT a Family Value!!

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