From: M18611@MBVM.Mitre.Org (Kathy Wilk)
Subject: Re: Second Baby Thoughts ...
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, Bedford MA 01730
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 19:47:02 GMT

In article <1992Aug12.112532.29607@hemlock.cray.com>
rice@cray.com (Jonathan Rice) writes:
>
>My point was that the adjustment from six hours a day of "free" time to
>two is a good deal more severe (and traumatic, for one is not used to making
>such changes) than the adjustment from two hours to one.  Thus giving lie to
>the cliche that two is "more than twice as hard" as one.
>
  That adjustment from six hours a day of free time to two was pretty severe,
but it was mixed in with other adjustments - and insecurities - and the growing
realization that you are going to be a parent for the rest of your life!
  I noticed that my neighbors who had first babies were quick to want to 'help
me out' because I was a new mother.  The magazines and books are loaded with
information for the novice (first-time) mother.  I especially enjoyed the
glossy-photographed articles about how to give the baby a bath!  Such detailed
procedures!
  But _I_ really had a harder time going to ZERO hours free time.  And
finding that mothers with two kids are just as busy as I am and really don't
want to venture out in public with more than one child - that makes it harder
to do the kind of socializing I enjoyed as a new mom.  And there is not a
whole lot of literature out there about this frantic lifestyle you suddenly
have acquired with two kids ... unless you count Tillie Olsen's book,
_Silences_ in which creative women talk about how engulfed their lives
become with children.
  (Someone has already asked the question recently in this newsgroup about
the dearth of literature ABOUT children when they have left infancy and
toddlerhood.)
   There is also the issue of babysitters:  I get a babysitter for the times
that my husband and I go out.  I may have been picky about choosing babysitters
when I had one child; now, I notice that perfectly competent (seeming)  young
college students that I hire to babysit have a harder time with two
little kids to watch.  I trust them to handle the kids safely but they put the
kids to bed without changing their clothes sometimes, don't do the dishes,
don't pick up toys, etc.  If a babysitter was watching one child, I would
think the babysitter was sloppy to do such things.  If they are watching my
ACTIVE two, I expect a lot less because I think it is definitely harder work.
 
 I'll repeat it, though:  the second child brings joy that makes it well worth
the trouble.  My second child is approaching the age now at which his sister
was toilet-trained.  He seems to think the potty is a strange sculpture to
be merely admired, not to use.  In this respect, my second child is not
'easier than the first' and I have a feeling that any success we had with
potty training will not be replicated with him.  Oh, well!
 
 
                        K. Wilk
                        M18611@MBVM.MITRE.ORG
 
            <--********************************-->
 'Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him to the ground
  on top of me.' - Mark Twain
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