HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: gary@wb9rxw.lonestar.org (Gary Partain)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: American Joke
Date: 14 Aug 92 01:19:13 GMT
Organization: American Airlines - STIN

In article <401@thunder.LakeheadU.Ca> tmabthor@flash.LakeheadU.Ca
 (Thomas M. Abthorpe) writes:
>Thomas M. Abthorpe
>tmabthor@Flash.LakeheadU.Ca 
>
>Stupidity, like a virtue, is it's own reward!

Hehehe...that should read "Stupidity, like a virtue, is its own reward."
							^^^
A pretty common grammatical error, though interesting that it be made
in this context.
-- 
Gary Partain                 | Idealism increases in direct proportion to
American Airlines, D/FW, TX  | one's distance from the problem.
texsun!wb9rxw!gary           | 
gary@wb9rxw.lonestar.org     |                        - John Galsworthy -
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: amorgan@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Crunchy Frog)
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Organization: Computer Science Department, Stanford University.
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 22:58:45 GMT

>lisa writes:
>
>
>>We get to name our machines at work here, and I am 
>>in desperate need of a new machine name in a hurry!  
>>Can you help me?  

It could be rather amusing to have machines named after sexualal
positions/activites.  You know: bondage, sixtynine, blowjob,
fistfuck, missionary, doggystyle, etc.

Maybe not.

C Frog 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: vucinic@apol3ppe1.cern.ch (Dejan Vucinic )
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Organization: CERN European Lab for Particle Physics
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 22:38:44 GMT

syspb@smartstar.com (Paul) writes:

>Uranus, Roid, Porky, Booger, Boner, Bimbo, Bilbo, Harpo, Snafu, Bootme,
>Herpes, Slimer, Stinky, Cheech, Chong, RoacH

How 'bout this:

  just open DEC's manual on VMS, where the errors are described, and voila!

I think that error names are not copyrighted - noone really wants to steal 
them ;>

EXSYLOGIN
%DCL-I-SUPERSEDE
%TYPE-W-SEARCHFAI
-RMS-E-FNF
%DCL-W-IVQUAL
%COPY-E-OPENIN


.------------------------------------------------.
| e- \          /  V    |Have a Nice Decay!      |
|     \        /        |                        |
|      \  Z0  /         |                        |
|      /~~~~~~\         |Dejan Vucinic           |
|     /\       \        |                        |
| e+ /  \       \  _    |                        |
|   /    \Y      \ V    |vucinic@cernapo.cern.ch |
`------------------------------------------------'
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jd@dickens.com (Joe Dudar)
Subject: Re: The REAL Rules
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 14:46:24 GMT
Organization: Dickens Data Systems, Inc.

In article <16utmhINN2tn@garfield.hal.COM> mary@hal.COM (Mary Guan) writes:
>In article <187qPB2w164w@cellar.org> kml@cellar.org (Lazlo Hoover Toth) writes:
>>
>>Contrary to the earlier posting, these are the REAL Rules, written by
>>me yesterday.
>>
>>                          THE REAL RULES
>>				 :
>>				 :
>
>
>Hi everybody,
>
>We finally had someone to STAND up for men. But I guess his effort will be 
>in vain since the truth is "MALE is like a tree and FEMALE is the typhoon to
>bring it down".

Typhoon?  Did you say, typhoon?  Ah, ha ha ha ha!  I think I could handle that.
At least then it would be over quickly.  A stiff and refreshing wind, get
shoved around, get wet, and then finally... Boom!  lying broken and wasted
on some storm torn shoreline.  Sounds like good sex.  Now, my experience with
the less pleasant aspects of women, in keeping with your analogy, could be
likened to such long term horrors as, say, termites...  or blight.
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph A. Dudar  |  Help?  He doesn't need help, he needs hindrances:  if he
jd@dickens.com   |  has to climb over enough of them, he might inadvertently
Atlanta, GA      |  fall on top of her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And of course, my opinions may not coincide with those of my employer.  TBTG
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Organization: University/Publications & Printing, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 11:53:53 -0400 
From: "James M. Gollick" <jg4y+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Confuscious says:

CC:
" Anyone can piss on the floor, Be a hero and shit on the ceiling!"
From: rgtysec19@waikato.ac.nz (Sharlene Mehrtens)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: RE: ASCII art
Date: 19 Aug 92 15:15:58 +1200
Organization: University of Waikato, Hamilton, New Zealand


Find ASCII art great.  Anymore posting, please also direct to
rgtysec19@waikato.ac.nz.


Thanks
From: clyde@brahms.udel.edu (Clarence W Robinson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Date: 20 Aug 92 02:08:00 GMT
Article-I.D.: news.Bt9F9D.C8L
Organization: University of Delaware

In article <1ek4oB1w164w@jab.tucson.az.us> cr@jab.tucson.az.us (clint ruoho) writes:
>kelly@igor.tamri.com (Kelly Kittell) writes:
>
>> We have a very pleasant Filipino woman who lives in our neighborhood.
>> Her name is Bea Ver.
>
>I once knew a Jewish guy named Ham Berger...

Delaware has a State Senator (or at least had one) named Al O. Plant.
No lie.  He always included his middle initial.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton,talk.politics.guns
From: sybok@athena.mit.edu (The Rifleman)
Subject: Re: Gun control (was Re: democratic platform)
Keywords: joke, very funny, haha, etc. 
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 18:11:50 GMT

In article <sc0LPB2w164w@opus.mcds.com> speers@opus.mcds.com (Daniel E. Speers) writes:
>ski@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Andrew John Urbanski) writes:
>  Ok, if you want to get down to it, what kills people are flame
>wars - ah, no - it's the ripping open of flesh causing drastic
>bleeding and a shock to the system.  Bullets help make this process
>move along quicker esp when fired from a gun - and even more 
>efficient when fired from a semi-automatic hunting rifle.
>
>------------
>
>   So, does the NRA really believe that people who go squirel
>hunting need to use a rifle that'll fire so many bullets in
>half a second to have removed every bit of meat from the bones
>of the intended prey???
>
>   I support the right to bear arms, but what about arming bears?
>
>   Where do we draw the line?  Rocket Launchers to hunt dear?

Hunting, hunting, hunting.  You keep talking about arms in relation
to hunting.  THE SECOND AMENDMENT IS NOT ABOUT HUNTING!!!  The colonials
weren't hunting when they rose up against their oppressor to gain
freedom.
From: t9114240@phillip.edu.au
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Life of an Electron?
Date: 14 Aug 92 21:17:39 GMT
Organization: RMIT (Bundoora Campus)

In article <a1@byu.edu>, earlyd@ee.byu.edu (David Early) writes:
> 
> In article <divers.713713416@sol.acs.unt.edu>, divers@sol.acs.unt.edu (Divers Brian Keith) writes:
>> 
>>   I while back, someone posted a short story about the life of an electron
>> that made fun of modern dating.  I think it was called "Life of an Electron"
>> but I am not sure.  Could someone repost this or e-mail it to me.
>> 
>>  Thanks,
>>  Brian
>> 
>> 
> 
> Me, too, please!
> 
> Dave Early
> earlyd@wombat.ee.byu.edu


******AND ME PLEASE
***************	ADRIAN ROWLEY
From: walrus@bessel.umd.edu (Grig Larson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Confuscious says.......
Date: 18 Aug 92 07:14:09 GMT
Organization: Punkadyne Industries(tm)

>
>From a real fortune inside a real fortune cookie that was consumed and
>digest a real long time ago:
>
>Confucius say:  I didn't say that!
>
I got one once that said, "Help! I am a prisoner in a fortune cookie
factory!"

A friend of mine got "You are a pathetic looser and will never fit in 
anywhere." from the same resturant. I think they occassionally gave joke
cookies (available at Spencer's Gifts around these parts). I saw some
once that had condoms in them.
 


=================<<< <  <   < *Punk Walrus* >   >  > >>>=================
[  \||/  |       ---------------------------------------       |  \||/  ]
[  (o-)  | "It might be in the     ||  walrus@bessel.umd.edu   |  (o-)  ]
[   /\   |  basement, I'll go up-  ||  Punk Walrus on the      |   /\   ]
[ Punkus |  stairs and check..."   ||  FanTek BBS 301-203-9582 | It's   ]
[ Walrus |       -- M.C. Escher -- ||  SF&F Author Extrordinare| Punkie!]
=========================================================================
Official EveCon 10 Representative for the InterNet Entertainment System.
From: schurko@ccu.umanitoba.ca (Robert Schurko)
Subject: Re: Polack joke ?
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Canada
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 17:10:33 GMT

anton@gagme.chi.il.us (Andrzej Borowiec) writes:
: In article <1992Aug13.172634.202372@uctvax.uct.ac.za> lwsand03@uctvax.uct.ac.za writes:
: >Overheard at the Barcelona Olympics...
: >
: >
: > Q- Are you a pole-vaulter?
: > 
: >            A- No I'm a German, but how did you know my first name?
: 
: Gee, if you figured this was a polish joke you must have that
: shit under your skull checked.
: 
: Andrzej A. Borowiec
: 

	Geez...lighten up....

-- 
*************************************************************************
*Rob Schurko			schurko@ccu.umanitoba.ca		*
*Chemistry Department		rob@one3.chem.umanitoba.ca		*
*University of Manitoba							*
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin)
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Reply-To: pt@geovision.gvc.com
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 20:10:05 GMT

saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal) writes:

>I suppose naming them after parts of the body (chest, arm, hand, bone,
>etc) or family relations (I sent it the file to mom) could be fun.

How about naming them after unix signals
SIGHUP, SIGINT, SIGQUIT, SIGILL, SIGTRAP, SIGIOT, etc

"Hey, I just got a SEGV on SIGBUS" - could cause _lots_ of confusion!

-- 
Paul Tomblin, pt@geovision.gvc.com or {uunet,revcan}!geovision!pt
(This is not an official opinion of GeoVision Systems Inc.)
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone
  -- Henry David Thoreau.
From: pemakine@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Pekka Makinen)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: .ASCII PICS.
Date: 22 Aug 92 19:52:05 GMT
Organization: University of Helsinki, Finland


 In <92235.113757ISSJXS@BYUVM.BITNET> 
 ISSJXS@BYUVM.BITNET writes : 
->
->   I'm looking for pictures in ascii code.
->If you have any please send me a copy.

       OK, for starters this is an ASCII picture of a dot:  .


-- 
(   Pekka Makinen, Dept. of Med. Chem., University of Helsinki, Finland    )
(pemakine@cc.helsinki.fi pemakine@serifos.helsinki.fi pemakine@finuh.bitnet)
(         No opinions - no disclaimer - no money - no fun. Fiat lux.       )
From: pyango@guvax.georgetown.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: coming and going
Date: 14 Aug 92 15:33:38 -0400
Distribution: world
Organization: Georgetown University

In article <Aug12.054809.44175@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU>, heatherb@NREL.ColoState.EDU (Heather Bean) writes:
> In article <183022@pyramid.pyramid.com> craigs@pyrtech.pyramid.com (Craig Shipley) writes:
>>In article <1992Aug10.183628.17574@emr1.emr.ca> kasvand@ccrs.emr.ca (Tony Kasvand) writes:
>>>In article <380@sbmsg1.UUCP> acw@sbmsg1.UUCP (Alvin White) writes:
>>>>>: > > Make like a shepard and get the flock out of here.
>>>>>: >Make like a newborn and head out.
>>>>>: Make like a breach baby and butt out!
>>>>>Do like a tree and leave
>>>>>Make like a bottom and split
>>>>>Do like Jesus and leave us
>>>>                                                                    
>>>> 
>>>>Make like horse shit and hit the trail.
>>>Make like diarrea and run.
>>Make like a hockey player and get the puck outta here.
>>Make like a bakery truck and haul buns.
> Make like lightning and bolt.
> Make like traffic and jam.
> 
Make like a fetus and head out
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From:  (Kelly James Clark)
Subject: Depressed at 50
Organization: Calvin College
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 13:29:07 GMT


My colleague Ken Konyndyk is depressed at attaining the half-century mark.  
Although he has no gray hair, he is losing the ability to control his
expanding girth.

He could use some cheering up.  Every kind person out there is invited to send
him a joke or a message.  Send to: kony@calvin.edu 

'Konyn' means rabbit in dutch.  Perhaps there is a rabbit joke or two that
you might send along.

You needn't divulge the fact that I encouraged this.  He might perk up if he
changes his view of the world due to such a spontaneous act of kindness on the
part of all of you.

Thanks for cheering up the old codger.

  
Xref: sparky rec.humor:26205 rec.humor.d:2188
From: st1ns@rosie.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.)
Subject: Re: Bathroom Humor (sort of)
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 06:23:00 GMT

In article <1992Aug15.163446.27841@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel) writes...
>     This could have been written anywhere, but I read it
>in a bathroom, so ...
> 
>In typical Christian fervor someone in the stall had
>written:
> 
>     JESUS SAVES
> 
>Underneath it an equally ardent writer had scribbled:
> 
>     AND PASSES THE PUCK TO GRETSKY, WHO SHOOTS
>     AND SCORES!!!!!!!

Somebody named Jesus in Hockey?  Too weird.  However, it would be perfectly plausible
for a sports page headline of a few years ago to have read:

     Jesus Saves as Borbon Flies Out in 9th

Lotsa guys named Jesus in Beisbol.
From: gan@sample-o.eng.ohio-state.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Funny sign
Date: 23 Aug 92 15:21:45 GMT
Article-I.D.: ee.1992Aug23.152145.13930
Distribution: usa
Organization: The Ohio State University Dept of Electrical Engineering

Here's one funny sign near a swimming pool,
	
"We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool"



--
From: nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Computer names
Date: 12 Aug 92 16:53:30 -0600
Organization: Memphis State University


	A couple of years ago a friend of mine had two small 
hard drives on his computer. He named one 'Frick' and the 
other 'Frack'. I have heard the names before but do not for 
the life of me know who or what they are/were. He does not 
know the source either. They are always spoken together as a 
pair - Frick and Frack.
	The Public Library Information Center (LINC) could only 
find a French movie with the title "Fric Frac". Fric is 
supposedly slang for money. And Frac?? A friend seemed quite 
positive they once were a comedic ice skating act with Ice 
Capades or Holiday on Ice.
	If anyone knows the source, please tell me.

	The Center for Earthquake Research and Information here 
has named its various devices after characters and places in 
"The Lord of the Rings". e.g. A gateway is called 'Minas 
Tirith'. And my friend traded Frick and Frack for one rather 
large drive which he promptly named "Godzilla", an 
improvement over my uninspiring "Dennis' Big Disk". 

ObJoke:

Q:  What has 74 teeth and holds back a monster? 

A:  My pants zipper. 

[You can believe that if you wish; my wife knows better.] ;-) 
[I didn't use the word 'uninspiring' above ill-advisedly.];-)


//Some people don't know the difference\\
//between a grin and a grimace.        \\
               /s/Dennis
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: lemson@fnbc.com (David Lemson)
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Reply-To: lemson@fnbc.com
Organization: First National Bank Of Chicago, Chicago IL, USA
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 92 22:53:23 GMT

In article <80@byu.edu>  writes:
> 
> In article <1992Aug12.161224.72@cbnewsl.cb.att.com>,  
saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal) writes:
> > In article <1992Aug10.154759.370@awdprime.austin.ibm.com>
> > ibmpa!cdc017.austin.ibm.com!lkoh@ibminet.awdpa.ibm.com writes:
> > 
> > >We get to name our machines at work here, and I am 
> > >in desperate need of a new machine name in a hurry!  
> > >Can you help me?  
> >
We have a few networks of printer servers with: The Simpsons, the gang  
from Cheers, the Jetsons.
I like the Simpsons, myself.  "Homer is down".  "I can't get Marge back  
up". 

--
David Lemson                                           (312) 732-4741
FNBC Sys Admin (Summer) UIUC NeXT Campus Consultant(rest of the time)
E-mail to: lemson@fnbc.com                          NeXTMail accepted
From: prem@prem.lbl.gov (Shirdi R. Prem)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Confuscious says.......
Date: 18 Aug 92 16:08:04 GMT
Reply-To: prem@prem.lbl.gov (Shirdi R. Prem)
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory

In article <1992Aug18.004311.12764@morrow.stanford.edu> pegasus@leland.Stanford.EDU (Betty Lee) writes:
>prem@phd.lbl.gov (Shirdi R. Prem) writes: 
                   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>+ 	* Confucius say : "There can never be such a thing as rape.....*
>+ 	* 		   because woman with skirts up run faster     *
>+ 	* 		   than man with pants down. "                 *

>+ 	Confucius say "Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus."
>+ 		      "He who let woman on top is f***ing up."
>+ 		      "People who make Confucius joke speak bad English."

>From a real fortune inside a real fortune cookie that was consumed and
>digest a real long time ago:
>Confucius say:  I didn't say that!


	Just remembered another one.........

		Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat-haouse.

	Prem! (Yup, me again.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jd@dickens.com (Joe Dudar)
Subject: Re: Oxymorons revisited...
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 15:00:13 GMT
Organization: Dickens Data Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Aug13.191743.19600@infonode.ingr.com> wilsonk@infonode.ingr.com (Keith Wilson) writes:
>Taxi Cab Drivers
>Prison Reform
>Government Subsidies
>Foriegn Imports
>Strip Mining
>System Manager
rec.humor.funny
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph A. Dudar  |  Help?  He doesn't need help, he needs hindrances:  if he
jd@dickens.com   |  has to climb over enough of them, he might inadvertently
Atlanta, GA      |  fall on top of her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And of course, my opinions may not coincide with those of my employer.  TBTG
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller)
Subject: Re: mailing list
Reply-To: ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 08:41:47 GMT


In a previous article, gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore) says:

>In article <1992Aug14.164638.673@geovision.gvc.com> pt@geovision.gvc.com writes:
>>Since I'm getting pretty sick of seeing the continual request "Please add me
>>to the jokes mailing list" over and over and over again, I've set up a
>>mailing list for people to ask to be added to mailing lists.  Just send mail
>>to "/dev/null@get.a.clue"
>>
>
>Halleluia!  I can't seem to find the KILL file command to eradicate
>all of these peurile "me, too! mee, too! me, too! " piddles.
>PLEASE use the mail address instead of dumping "me, too!" all over the net!
>
>
>-- 
>Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
>TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
>P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
>Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
>

Mee, too!!!

(grin)

-- 
*...your Friendly Neighborhood Atheist // "Peter...PETER!!  I can see    *
*      the KelleyMan:Kelley L. Miller // your house from here!"          *    
*                  ae642@yfn.ysu.edu // Jesus Christ, from the cross     *
****************Know God...No peace.  No God...Know peace.****************
Lines: 24
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 92 07:23:42 MDT
From: earlyd@ee.byu.edu (David Early)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Distribution: world
Organization: Brigham Young University, Provo UT USA
Subject: Re: "Free" Trade


In article <3091@isgtec.isgtec.com>, ron@isgtec.com (Ron Lipsius) writes:
> >     Well, give the U.S. a little credit here.  It hasn't invaded
> >Canada yet - or is Canada second world?
> 
> 	I thought the U.S. did invade Canada once before.  Wasn't
> 	the war of 1812 the one with the great Canadian hero 
> 	Benedict Arnold (or some such person, my history is lacking.)
> 
> 	I am sure that the U.S. still has some battle plans should
> 	war break out with Canada.  [Not that it is likely Canada
> 	would really provoke anything....]
> --
> Ron Lipsius ron@isgtec.com | "Our wretched tragedies have a smell of the
>  ISG Technologies Inc.     | office clinging to them, and the blood that
>  3030 Orlando Dr.          | trickles from them is the color of printer's
>  Mississauga, ONT  L4V 1S8 | ink."  Albert Camus, Helen's Exile

Yes, we did try to invade, and were horribly routed.  There is amonument
to whole American Fiasco/Canadian Victory north of Niagra Falls with a
restaraunt that puts on a killer Sunday brunch and has a wonderfull view of
the river valley.  It is north of the botanical gardens on the Canadian side, 
about 20 minutes from the bridge, if anyone is interested.
Dave Early
From: dmcleod@ducvax.auburn.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bathroom humor
Date: 19 Aug 92 20:41:39 GMT

In article <1992Aug11.040500.24070@nntpd2.cxo.dec.com>, k_workman@csc32.enet.dec.com writes:
> 
> Read this on the stall wall and thought it was all too poetic!
> 
> Some people come to sit and think.
> Others come to shit and stink.
> I come here to rest my balls and 
> read the words upon the walls.
> 
> ----->  Sorry if this is an old one....
> 
> -kw


How about this one,

Here I sit in this stinking vapor,
Some son of a bitch done stole the paper.
No time to wait, no time to linger,
Look out ass, here comes the finger.
From: sununu@ece.arizona.edu (Arun Vaidyanath)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Telephone Messages wanted.
Date: 14 Aug 92 22:41:34 GMT
Reply-To: sununu@ece.arizona.edu (Arun Vaidyanath)
Distribution: world,local
Organization: University of Arizona Dept. of Electrical and Computer Engineering


Hi everybody,

I know this has come some time ago!! But I'd like a posting of a list of 
'smart' telephone messages either in the network or to me at ...
		sununu@helios.ece.arizona.edu

Thank you in advance,

Arun
From: ccjames@cybaswan.UUCP (j hussell)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Poofta Jokes!
Date: 20 Aug 92 16:07:31 GMT
Reply-To: ccjames@pyr.swan.ac.uk (j hussell)

Hi!  I'm real new to this newsgroup so I don't know wether I should do this
or not ...... what the hell!!!


Some Poofta Jokes!!
===================

A poof went into a butchers shop in West London and asked the butcher for a
whole salami sausage.  So the butcher dduly took the sausage out of the cool-
er cabinet, and started to slice it up.  The poof looked in disgusted and said,
"What the fuck do you think I am?  A fucking money-box??"


Two poofs were sitting on the beach newxt to me once, and one said to the other
"Cecil, do you want the brolly up?" to which the other replied,  " Yes, but for
christ's sake don't open it!"


A poof was looking at his naked body in the mirror one morning, and he got an
erection!  He looked down and said, "It's only me, silly!"



James

"Well I thought it was fuckin funny any road!" Roy 'Chubby Brown.

P.S. - I have a whole file of jokes on VMS account ccjames@uk.ac.swan.vax, but
if you want anything else, mail ccjames@uk.ac.swan.pyr!!!
-- 
+--------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| My name is James Hussell, and I live in Oystermouth, Mumbles, which is a |
| suburb of Swansea, which is excellent!  E-Mail : ccjames@uk.ac.swan.pyr  |
+--------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: please help me name my machine
Date: 14 Aug 92 16:36:25 GMT
Reply-To: pt@geovision.gvc.com
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario

rsadve@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Adve) writes:
>>
>How about 'computer'?

I dunno Adve - I think it was funnier the first time you posted, without the
quotes.

-- 
Yorn, desh bjorn, der ritt de gitt de gue,
Orn desh de bjorn desh de umn BORK BORK BORK.
Paul Tomblin, pt@geovision.gvc.com {revcan,uunet}!geovision!pt
(This is not an official opinion of GeoVision Systems Inc.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor