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Date:         Wed, 29 Jul 1992 12:31:18 EDT
From:         Leo W <Leo_W@QM.CIRCA.UFL.EDU>
Subject:      Home & Business #4
X-To:         Christia <christia@asuvm.inre.asu.edu>

This series is reproduced with permission from a booklet, "Christ and the
Church in Home and Business (Eph. 5:22 - 6:9)," by Charles H. Welch circa 1964.
 Quoting from the forward on page one, "This booklet is sent forth in the hope
that it may help wives and husbands, children and parents, and servants and
masters, to see their proper relationship to each other, and thus to "walk
worthy of the vocation" wherewith they are called."

------------------------------------

CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord" (Eph. 6:1).

How are we to understand the clause "in the Lord?"  Does it imply disobedience
to parents if they are not "in the Lord?"  Does it mean only obey your parents
in those things that you recognize are "in the Lord?"  The first suggestion
seems to be quite apart from the spirit of the Scriptures, the second
presupposes too advanced a stage of spiritual perception.  Colossians 3:20
supplies an answer:-

"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the
Lord".

While the children here addressed would probably be connected with the church
(for otherwise they would not hear this passage read at all), they are not
placed upon so high a platform as that of husband and wife.  The first reason
for their obedience in Ephesians 6:1 is the primitive one, "for this is right".

In the training of our children, while grace and love and even an appeal to
their profession of faith are all legitimate, there is a sense in which it
differs from that of the more adult believer.  Not only is such obedience
"right", but the Apostle even goes back to the fifth commandment, adding as a
note of encouragement that it is the first commandment with promise.

We are not to reason from this that an obedient child of parents who are
members of the Body is assured of long life on the earth, but to gather from
the quotation the marked approval of the Lord upon the obedience of children to
parents, even though "the promise" now may be expressed in some other
way than "long life upon the earth".  On the other hand it is morally certain
that seeds sown in childhood by disobedience, materially influence their
well-being in after years.

As we have already indicated, children and slaves are addressed differently
from wives, and this may be the better seen by noticing the recurring
features:-

Ye children .........   Ye slaves
be obedient .........   be obedient
to parents ..........   to masters
"right", "promise" ..   "as unto Christ", "reward"

Ye fathers ..........   Ye masters
provoke not .........   threaten not
your children .......   them
bring them up .......   your Master is in heaven

Promise and reward figure more prominently here.  While "parents" are spoken of
in Ephesians 6:1 and "father and mother" separately mentioned in verse two,
"fathers" are specially addressed in verse four.

One of the results of modern civilisation has been the transference of this
responsibility from the father to the mother.  To thousands of young children,
the father is some one who appears on the scene at week-ends, whose name is
held up as a kind of bogey as a last resource, but who does not come into
every-day living contact with the growing child.  The mother's duties connected
with the material and physical well-being of the child, often prevent the
exercise of those other elements of training that are necessary.

Mother-love in essence is protective.  Father-love is correctiue as well.
Mother-love often shields the child from the due results of its own
wrong-doing, whereas father-love looks ahead and sees the dire results in the
future.  As neither parent can be a substitute for the other, the child needs
both, but in "discipline and instruction" the father is the true agent.
Hebrews 12:5-11 is helpful in this connexion:-

"And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto
children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when
thou art rebuked of Him . . . no chastening for the present seemeth to be
joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of
righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby".

In the passage from Hebrews it is the "Father of spirits" (verse 9) who is put
over against "fathers of our flesh", and the "long term policy" behind the
father's correction is seen in the word "afterward".

Paul explains fairly clearly what he conceives to be the function of the mother
and father in 1 Thessalonians 2:7-11:-

"We were gentle among you, even as a nurse (nursing mother) cherisheth her
children . . . how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a
father doth his children".

The motherliness is further expanded in verse 8 in such words as "being
affectionately desirous", "willing to have imparted . . . our own souls", "ye
were dear unto us", and in verse 9 "labouring night and day, because we would
not be chargeable unto any of you".  Who that knows mother-love cannot sense it
here?

The Apostle however, was a father to these saints as well as a mother.  So the
language changes.  He speaks of his deportment as "holy", "righteous" and
"blameless" (verse 10), and that he "exhorted and comforted and charged every
one of you, as a father doth his children" (verse 11).  Such is the necessary
combination for true child welfare.  Before the Apostle says one word as to how
the children were to be disciplined, he gives a caution to the fathers and
says:-

"Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath" (Eph. 6:4).

Colossians 3:21 says, "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they
be discouraged". Romans 10:19 uses the expression - "provoke to wrath" (Eph.
6:4) in the words, "by a foolish nation I will anger you".  The lesser words in
Colossians three mean properly, "to exasperate".

Have we never entered a home and felt the baneful effects of this
"exasperation" and "discouragement"?  Children have a keen sense of justice and
will take punishment for offences without resentment when they know that they
are being dealt with fairly.  They have no words oftentimes to explain the
motives for their actions, and often that which seems a peculiarly flagrant
case of disobedience or malice, may prove to be the result of some childish
misconstruction or misunderstanding.  We appeal to all fathers who may read
these words to weigh these passages over before the Lord, seeking to avoid the
discouraging attitude, and gladly assuming the responsibility of disciplining
and instructing those who are dependent upon them.

These things have a serious bearing moreover when considered in the light of
the ministry, for although none would now speak of themselves as bishops or
deacons, yet the principle of 1 Timothy 3:1-12 still holds good:-

"A bishop then must be ... one that ruleth well in his own house, having his
children in subjection with all gravity; (for if a man know not how to rule his
own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) . . . likewise . . .
the deacons . . . "

(TO BE CONTINUED)
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