HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: uribe@jarthur.claremont.edu (Soprano)
Subject: Re: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Co.
Organization: Claremont Shelter for Maladjusted Singers
Distribution: world,local
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 02:07:12 GMT

In article <1992Apr16.160129.7605@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca>
aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Alfvaen) writes:

>"One thing--I'd always had the impression that in the 'traditional'  
>version of Scarborough Fair, all the verses are 'Tell her to ' such and  
>such, 'and then she'll be a true love of mine.'  Until the last verse,  
>which ends 'and then _you'll_ be a true love of mine.'  Am I totally off  
>my chum?  Am I right, or have I just been hearing things wrong?

"Well, I'm not P65331727 ;-), but I sent Walker the lyrics to a traditional
version of "Scarborough Fair" that I perform with the Claremont Camerata
(yes, the group of singers I invoked at DM's birthday picnic exists in RL --
and we *do* sing "Happy Birthday" in improvised 10-part harmony -- but I
digress....)."

Soprano (for it is indeed she) looks around -- and once again the air
shimmers and she is surrounded by the other nine members of the Claremont
Camerata (well, 10 if you include our director ;-).  She hands Fast Eddie a
score, and as he begins to play....

(unison)
"Oh, are you going to Scarborough Fair?
 Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
 Remember me to one who lives there,
 One who was once a true love of mine.

[men]
"Tell her to make me a cambric shirt,
 Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
 With neither seam nor needlework,
 If she would again my true love be.

(women)
"Tell him to clear me an acre of land,
 Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
 And grow me wheat from grains of sand,
 Then I will be his true love again.

[men]
"Tell her to wash my shirt in a well,
 Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
 Where no water runs nor rain ever fell,
 If she would again my true love be.

(women)
"Thresh the wheat with an old shoe sole,
 Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
 And store it all in a little mouse hole,
 And I will be his true love again.

women [men] (last line is unison)
"Tell him that when he's done his work,
 	[I'll gather the wheat in a bottomless sack,]
 Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
	[Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,]
 Come on to town and get his shirt,
	[And bring it home on a butterfly's back,]
 Then we shall be true lovers again."

And as the last notes fade, the rest of the group fades also, leaving
Soprano standing alone with a radiant smile....

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Soprano (Lydia M. Uribe)                      uribe@jarthur.claremont.edu |
| Claremont, CA                                         uribe@HMCVAX.BITNET |
|           Cats, quilts and diving -- what more could anyone ask?          |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu (David 'Mishael' Green)
Subject: Re: MIA
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 23:10:20 GMT

In article <1992Apr13.214343.5787@morrow.stanford.edu> GE.LJB@forsythe.stanford.edu (Louis J Bookbinder) writes:
->Klum klum de klum kloop ...(oh, heck with the melodrama!)
->
->"I remain 200 posts behind, but........"
->Nick walks to the chalkboard for the semi-regular sad event:
->
->The following have not posted in OH, So Long. Are they gone forever?
->
->MEMBERS IN ABSENTIA (M.I.A.)
->----------------------------
->Brandi Weed

Brandi's a graduate of the school I'm attending, and she still shows up around
quite frequently...  She does still have some net-access (most notably, two
accounts at which she can be reached) but only one of those has usenet access
and the interface that it uses she doesn't like...

So, I suspect there's not going to be a lot of seeing her around, though
anything's possible...
-- 
dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu				   David "Mishael" Green
		    Have you scritched your local Furry today?
********************************************************************************
Life is too confusing for novices; we should hire professionals to do it for us.
From: tjlee@iastate.edu (The Lamplighter)
Subject: Lamplighter's Poetry
Originator: tjlee@du139-201.cc.iastate.edu
Organization: Seven Wishes Lamp Co.
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 06:23:22 GMT

	The Lamplighter wanders in the door, followed by three or four
Adelie penguins.  Yes, there are four.  He takes four ones from his
wallet and tells the penguins, "Here guys, just like I promised -- and
thank you for the fish."  Laying the money on the bar, he asks Mike to
get them whatever they want, and the penguins promptly hop up onto the
chairs in front of the bar, two to a chair, and start squawking.

	While Mike figures out what they want to drink (Herring
Wallbangers are popular among penguins), the Lamplighter goes to the
open mike for poetry reading.  Flicking it on, he says, "This doesn't
happen too often, but a poem reached out and grabbed me a little while
ago.  When you're sailing back from Australia, you have plenty of
time to write things down!  Anyway, it probably needs refinement, but
here it is; second draft."

"Get Your Priorities in Order"
by Tom Lee

Last week my mother went to the hospital.
I don't know when she's coming back,
But she's stopped leaving all that hair in the sink.

Last month my mother went to the hospital.
I don't know if she's coming back.
Dad doesn't take us to see her.

Last year my mother went to the hospital.
Dad says she's never coming back.
He says they buried her, but I never saw them do it.

Nine years ago my mother went to the hospital.
Now she doesn't have to come back,
Because now there's someone new to call Mom.

Fourteen years ago my mother went to the hospital.
Sometimes I wish she'd come back.
Life to her was learning, not networking.

Eighteen years ago my mother went to the hospital.
I wish she'd come back.
She'd want me to marry my love.

Thirty years ago my mother went to the hospital.
I need her to come back.
I need to hear a voice of feeling, not one of experience,

Because last week my father went to the hospital.

	The Lamplighter flicks the open mike off again, and goes to see
how his friends, penguin and other, are doing.

-----------------------<| "Often the test of courage is not to die
  <=|- Tom Lee -|=>   -<|  but to live."
  tjlee@iastate.edu   -<|  -- Conte Vittorio Alfieri
-----------------------<|
From: seawasp+@pitt.edu (Ryk E Spoor)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: steel bars
Date: 8 Apr 92 15:13:22 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

In article <1992Apr7.072229.13451@ucc.su.OZ.AU> mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar) writes:
>> [Michael the dark elf:]
>>		And at the edge of hearing comes a pun:
>>			"Steel bars do not a prism make."
>>	
>>		Not bad, but not the sort of pun the elf would Bragg
>>	about.

	The Sea Wasp looks up at that, a bemused expression on his face.

	"Now THAT is bizarre. Michael the Dark Elf? I've been playing in
an AD&D campaign; one of the characters was a Dark Elf, originally named
W'yn Saphier, who ended up getting a human name of Michael... and one
of the other members of that SAME party was Bragg D'Brownye...

                                 Sea Wasp
                                   /^\
                                   ;;;


---------------------------------------------------------------------------
.        ..               .             .        *           .      .
 .     .      :      .        _*_    .        .          .             ..
.   .     .   .      @---====OOOOO====---@~/^\    .     .       .       .
   .   *     .     ..         ^*^  .    .  ;;;      .      .      .   *
 :    .     .    .        .      .            .*         .     .        .
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Interphase Accomplished. 
Sea Wasp docked, Outring Sector 5.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: RHPS
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 06:41:52 GMT

In <OLSON.92Apr10214954@husc8.harvard.edu> olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Chip Olson) writes:

>In article <s2e6oINN4bh@agate.berkeley.edu> erikred@ocf.berkeley.edu (Erik Nielsen) writes:

>>"Get your ass off my table!" and "Everyone gets a piece of ass at Frank's
>>parties."  "It's nutritious, it's delicious, it's-- STEAM!!!"  [Steam will
>>save the world!!!]  "Use a fork, dork; try the spoon, goon."  "Hey, Riff,
>>what kind of wine is that?  Oh, must be a table wine."

>"He's from UMass, she's from Smith! Use a fork! Fork you, bitch!"
>(this one made for amusing reactions when I used it *at* Smith once)

>"it's the Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker! It slices, it dices, it circum-
>cizes! It chops, grates and castrates! First cut hurts, second cut tickles;
>congratulations, you're now Jewish!"

>"There's no crime in giving youself over to pleasure [there is in Massachu-
>setts!]"

>"[Describe Kennebunkport] oh, it's probably some sort of hunting lodge for 
>rich wierdos"

[there is in illinois....we still have sodomy laws]

that man has no f*cking neck....

what the hell is an rko radio picture....

sigh....


--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 

"kittens today are not properly trained--the way that they were when
victoria reigned." asparagus (gus: the theatre cat)
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Alfvaen)
Subject: The Reaper Strikes Again
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 15:53:56 GMT


Alfvaen, in a particularly somber mood, makes the secret elven gesture of  
drink-ordering.  Mike brings him a Wildberry Cooler in silence.  He  
silently and methodically drinks the bottle until only a shot glass is  
left.  Then, slightly unsteadily, he stands up and makes his way to the  
chalk line.

"I'm sure most of you have heard by now, about the passing of a great  
man...Kateri mentioned it on Holo last night, and I had heard it from my  
wife only hours before that.

"I knew he was ill, since I'd heard this in rec.arts.sf.written, and I'd  
read his recent editorials on the subject in the magazine named after him.   
I also remember, from reading his autobiography many years ago, that he'd  
had problems with kidney stones and the like before.  But--I don't know.   
I guess I'd kind of expected him to live longer, like at least long enough  
for me to meet him or write him a letter or something like that.  It's too  
late for that now, though.

"I remember first reading his non-fiction, with the book Science, Numbers  
And I, and his series of books on the planets.  And then his Robot  
stories, and Foundation novels, and lots of his short stories.  I got to  
feel always like I knew him, since he was so friendly and open when  
talking about himself.  (Sort of like Harlan Ellison's good twin.)  But  
now that's all I'll ever know of him.

"I guess he'd lived his threescore and twelve, but I imagine there was a  
lot left unfinished.  He'd started a new series of Foundation stories, I  
heard, and I also heard that he was forced to stop writing his science  
essays for F&SF just shy of a round number--how many was it?  499 or  
something like that?  I'm sure that that, if nothing else, he regrets.

"But enough of all that.  On to the toast.  To the man who was one of the  
many who hooked me into writing and science fiction.  To the man whose  
loss leaves the sudden empty space the no-one will ever be quite able to  
fill.

"To Isaac Asimov!"

Alfvaen drains the final shot glass and hurls the empty glass, with all  
the force he can muster, into the fireplace.

<<<CCCRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSHHH>>>

--

---Alfvaen(and no, this isn't my real name!)
Canadian Network For Space Research, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.
Current Album--X:Ain't Love Grand
 "There's a big, ugly city out there."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Alfvaen)
Subject: Re: HoloMuck
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
Distribution: world,local
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 17:30:26 GMT

> 	Arty looks up, and smiles.
> 	"I just made a side trip to HoloMuck, and it's pretty cool!
> Jack seems to be of the opinion that if we can't all make it to 
> a Real Space, at least we could have a Real Time gathering.
> 	"Anyone else interested?
> 	"I can't believe I've got a Kilingon for a neighbor!"

"Hi, P65331727.  So you're on Holo now, are you?  Living next to eHvan?   
Or are there more Klingons on Holo?  Hey!  I thought the 10th floor was  
full!"

> The Artful Dodger P65331727@CCIT.Arizona.Edu
> "Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went arround giving people  
advice.
> They killed him."
> 	-Anonymous history student

--

---Alfvaen(and no, this isn't my real name!)
Canadian Network For Space Research, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.
Current Album--She's Having A Baby Soundtrack
 "I know you have a little life in you yet
  I know you have a lot of strength left."
From: erikred@ocf.berkeley.edu (Erik Nielsen)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Natural Science, Natural Religion
Date: 14 Apr 1992 18:22:00 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
NNTP-Posting-Host: tornado.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Apr9.053605.25556@cco.caltech.edu> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:
>I don't know about that.  As I've said before, the "Golden Rule" is a license
>for a fanatic to do literally ANYTHING to coerce others into accepting his
>beliefs.  After all, the fanatic can reason, he'd rather have someone take ANY
>necessary steps to enlighten him, rather than have his soul consigned to hell.
>Wasn't this pretty much the justification for the Inquisition?


Like I said, I'm not advocating it as a blanket statement to be applied to
everyone.  My point here was that I am willing to accept advice or "words of
wisdom" as long as I have the ultimate say in whether or not I will abide by
such things.  Yes, anything taken to an extreme is potentially bad; some
things taken in moderation, however, are not as bad.  (Man, that was a
seriously wishy-washy statement, but oh, well.)

The justification for the Inquisition was much more complicated.  The Church
fathers decided, in a fit of paranoia, that the only way to combat the wave
of "heresy" sweeping across Europe was to clamp down in a fanatical military
fashion.  If they had been more willing to change the Chruch, much of the
atrocities of the Inquisition might have been avoided.  As I said above,
however, the Inquisition was an extreme, which is generally not a good thing.

All things in moderation, including moderation.

Erik, the BFG
-- 
     "All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
			Roy, _Blade Runner_
Erik Nielsen					erikred@ocf.berkeley.edu
From: eesshlgb@gdr.bath.ac.uk (S H L G Bisson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: All in a mouse's night... (part 3/3)
Date: 6 Apr 92 10:36:03 GMT
Organization: School of Electrical Engineering, University of Bath, UK

---WELCOME BACK TO PART 3---

{Further recap. In a sudden fit of posting fever Ignatz has completed
the posts he's been writing for the last couple of weeks. He's spoken
about life, love, cars and mountains... Now, the posts continue...}

---PART 3---

Ignatz finally finds what he's been looking for in his notebook.

"I've dug out this poem, I thought it might well fit in with the tone
of Callahanian events over the last week or two."

He whispers to Toothpick,

"I think it's for you mostly, though."

	Crossing Flat Earths Again

	Flat earths surround us,
	the traps that hide
	the roads to our dreams.
	"Here be Tygers"
	and we pause,
	afraid.
	But the Tyger is burning
	and by its bright
	we see the paths
	and walk.
	"Terra Incognito"
	the blank on the map,
	but -
	if no one's drawn here
	we are free to make
	our mark.

	So explore the flat earth
	by Tyger light
	and draw me new maps
	of heavens.

	Simon Bisson  (c)1990

"The future. It's all we really have."

Ignatz smiles. He's happy again. The strain of the last few months has 
gone. He's moving forward now. The Cartoon Mouse drains his final glass
with a loud slurp.

He stands, takes out the refurbished ACME portable railgun toaster, inserts
the glass. 

All turn at the

<WHOOSH> <WOOMPF> <KERASSH!>

"To our Futures!"

With that Ignatz digs out his climbing shoes, and wanders of towards the
picnic. He's pretty sure that there's a VR duplicate of Boiler Slab out
there, and he wants another shot at that V.Diff. he almost failed on
yesterday. He did do the climb, but he wants to do it BETTER...

----
Ignatz Mouse / Simon H Le G Bisson...net.jerriais...SF bibliophile...climber
-----
From: mdm@PREMISE.PRIME.COM (Michael McAfee)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: RH and steel bars
Date: 7 Apr 92 05:42:47 GMT


		The dark elf relaxes by the lake at the picnic, 
	watching another elf transform into a dolphin whilst diving
	into the water.  He's seen some bio majors do that at college,
	but never so quickly or flawlessly.  Well, live long enough...

		Soon more folks come over to say hello.

		"Pleased to meet you, Panther.  Actually, my kind and 
	the fairer elves long ago used to be at each others' throats,
	but that sort of thing hasn't happened in the longest time. 
	Sure, sometimes some close-minded lout will bring up bad history,
	but by and large the dark elves get along with the rest of the
	world's kind.  And as far as I can tell, those at Callahan's
	are even more accepting of others' differences.

		"Pleased to meet you, Danger Mouse.  I'm glad you
	enjoyed my attempt at a lightshow.  I must admit, some magics
	are easier in this place than at home.  Must be the nature of
	the saloon.

		"All this talk of Rocky Horror brings back memories
	of when I ushered the Rocky Horror midnight shows at the Harvard
	Square cinema in Cambridge.  Some favorite lines:

		[when B&J are in the car, the wiper blades go back and 
	forth from Brad to Janet, during which we yelled out, 
		"A***ole, Slut!  A***ole, Slut!]

		[Say something French, Frankie!]
		"Enchante'"  [Au Bon Pain]

		"A laser capable of firing a beam of pure anti-matter!"
		[Peanut butter!]

	Ah, those were the days."

		And at the edge of hearing comes a pun:
			"Steel bars do not a prism make."
	
		Not bad, but not the sort of pun the elf would Bragg
	about.

	Michael, the former usher
	disclaimer: Hold my employer responsible for this post?
			I don't think so.  
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: cplma@groper.jcu.edu.au (Lynn Alford)
Subject: Re: Scorpio's (was Re: Mundanity)
Organization: James Cook University
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 92 11:57:28 GMT

In <vad276g.702228747@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au> vad276g@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara) writes:

>Elizabeth.Mccoy@bbs.oit.unc.edu (Elizabeth Mccoy) writes:

>>--E_McCoy@unhh.unh.edu aka T'Kee the Grudge-holding Cat-Centaur (Did I
>>mention that I'm a Guy Faulks <sp?> baby? Nov. 5th. That also makes me a
>>Scorpio, which is supposed to make me vindictive... Gee...) 

>   "Well, every Scorpio I know well, including myself, has a decided sting
>when provoked."

Nicarra (14 November 1960) grins evilly.  "My personal slogan is 'I
*may* forgive, I *never* forget.'  Developed during those painful
teenage years when it was obvious I wasn't like everyone else, and I
took a lot of flack for that.  And it did take a long, long time to get
over any of it.  It does seem a good slogan for a scorpio."

Nicarra
-- 
The screen of my Mac doesn't really resemble my desktop despite being designed 
to support the desktop metaphor (1), and the windows on my terminal bear only 
the slightest relation to the contraptions that lets drafts into my office.  
Stroustrup.  1) I wouldn't be able to tolerate such a mess on my screen anyway.
From: erikred@ocf.berkeley.edu (Erik Nielsen)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: All in a mouse's night... (part 1/3)
Date: 7 Apr 1992 05:54:23 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
NNTP-Posting-Host: ocf.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Apr6.103246.29855@gdr.bath.ac.uk> eesshlgb@gdr.bath.ac.uk (S H L G Bisson) writes:
>With that, Ignatz throws himself a brightly coloured T-shirt, and strides
>out again. Ignatz looks at the shirt, a parody of a Planet Stories cover
>on the front, and the words `DANGER: DO NOT REVERSE POLARITY' on the back.

The giant opens his trenchcoat to reveal.... [GASP!]  the same shirt!

>"`Return To The Forbidden Planet' - the best show in any town. Shakespeare,
>1950's B-movie SF, rock'n'roll, awful puns... and a flight safety drill!
>The show thrives on word of mouth, you are told to `tell your friends', so
>I'm telling you... if you get the chance... go! (And no excuses about it
>being in London, it's about to open in the States and Canada, and I'm sure
>Oz can't be far behind...) Reversing polarity? Don't try it unless you
>know the drill!"

"What light from yonder airlock breaks?"  Key in "Good Vibrations" sung by
the players.  Enter Miranda bathed in green light.  Exit my heart....

"The first time I saw that," says the giant, "I sat in the very front row,
so when Miranda popped up, I thought I'd died and gone to Nirvana.  The
beginning of "Good Vibrations" still sends chills up my spine.  After the
show, which was just as good if not better than Ignatz reports, I hung
around the stage entrance and got all of the actors to sign my program.  My
heart no bounds when I discovered that Miranda had written, "All my love,
XXXOOXXX"  I nearly fell over.

"The second time I saw it, I sat in the middle, so I got to play with the
giant beachball before and after the show.  My God, folks, I'm surprised
more fans haven't heard of this show; it was such a cult thing that most of
the people there had already seen it half a dozen times.  The show was
great, yet again."

The giant pauses and sips his Bailey's.

"Well, the THIRD time I saw it, it was just as good as the first two.  I sat
in the back this time, so I was able to get up and dance when the players
played a set of four or five songs after the show.  Gods!  it was simply
smashing!

"I've been to quite a few concerts and a fair number of musicals, and this
is STILL my all time favorite.  Joe Bob gives it five stars.  Check it out."

Erik, the BFG
-- 
     "All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
			Roy, _Blade Runner_
Erik Nielsen					erikred@ocf.berkeley.edu
Newsgroups: alt.callahans