HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Subject: Re: Male bonding
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 19:12:19 GMT

In article <1992Jul29.171016.12169@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
>Peeve:  This whole "male bonding" pop-psych thing.  What the Hell is it about
>        some women who figure that just because I like drinking beer with and
>        playing sports (like bowling and golf :) with my male buddies, that
>        also means I want to tie them up with leather or handcuffs (or
>        whatever)?
>
>Peevefully,
>  -Bill

So wait a second, Bill. Do you tie up your buddies before, after, or
during the bowling or golf? If you do it before, you have a better chance 
at winning, but then I guess they'd have more of a handicap.

All tied up (that'll learn me not to go out drinking with the guys!),
Peter!
From: sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Life's a joke
Date: 30 Jul 92 11:27:12 -0500

Who says life isn't ironic?             	
                   			
Just this morning I was in my boss's office debating with him the
probability of mycoplasma-like organisms being *obligate parasites*,
and my wife, the goddess, walks in and informs me we are going to have 
another baby. Hmmm.
			
Speak of the devil.

Scott A. Chasse
U of Fl.-Ft. Lauderdale 
Research Center

Q: What's the difference between George Bush and John Gotti?
A: John Gotti has at least *one* conviction.
	From the opinion column of one conservative REPUBLICAN, George Will.
From: sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: <None>
Date: 31 Jul 92 12:06:03 -0500


Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: Chimpanzees/Olympic Games
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 20:55:06 GMT

In article <ATAYLOR.92Jul30112708@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
>	Probably; the rest of the peevers are secretly seeing
>	"Andy Griffith".....

peeve: why was it *always* summer in mayberry?? i know it's the south, but
come *on*!

-l "nip it! *nip* *it* *in* *the* *bud*!" p

-- 
-lp  ****************************************************************
*    "i may make you feel but i can't make you think" --Jethro Tull *
*********************************************************************
From: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: hypocritical Guvmints
Date: 21 Jul 92 19:23:57 GMT
Reply-To: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Distribution: alt
Organization: Penicuik People's Revolutionary Sheepdog Liberation Front

And lo, fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) spake unto the masses saying:
>
> Said Minister has also been metaphorically caught with his pants down
> with a rather tasty-looking actress.

Huh? Are you living in the same universe as the rest of us, Mike? Sure,
Mellor, the Minister Of Fun, has been mucking around, but the first thought
of everyone in our house when we heard it was "What the hell's wrong with
her that she'd be attracted to David Mellor?" Then, just before we came to
the obvious conclusion (i.e. $$$$$) we saw her. Having seen the actress
concerned, the only way I'd describe her as tasty was if I was into
necrophilia or possibly cannibalism. She looks like an animated corpse,
very Ray Harryhausen. On top of that, this reject from "Reanimator" is, if
the clip of her they showed on the news last night is anything to go by, in
possession of the acting skills you'd associate with a thespian cadaver
i.e. she'd be right at home on "Eldorado". WOODEN? Sting's been seen in her
vicinity trying to persuade some Amazonian Indians to replant her...

--
		Not Al Crawford - Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk
     "The water shines/A sheepdog skips across the face/A dozen times"
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Vending Machines
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 92 04:39:27 GMT

That reminds me of my own ice cream vending machine peeve.  There is not a
whole lotta stuff worse than scrounging up the 75 cents or so to get an
ice cream bar to enjoy on the beach.  I was down at Santa Monica a few
years ago and begged, borrowed, but never stole in order to get a delicious
and cold fudge bar.  I was a boy possessed with the urge, nee NEED to revel
in the delicious sensation of a fudge sicle.  Nothing else would do, not
even a hand job in a Jag.

I put my money in the machine.  After a whirr and a click, the bar appeared
before me after I opened the little door.  When I went to grab it out, I
found out that the damn thing was frozen in place.  I finally managed to
get at least PART of the bar outta there - enough to get at least a taste.

The mood was sufficiently wrecked, however, and my midset was terrible for
the rest of the evening.  PYT and I went to Mann's Chinese Theater after
that to see Full Metal Jacket.  Kinda reminded me of the full metal jacket
of the fudge bar, that title.

Booter, my good woman, where on Earth did you get your Darwinian Footed
Fish automotive accoutrement?  I simply MUST have one of these now.  I
will be the only person in Atlanta with such an offbeat piece of
decalcomania.

Ethnically and full-bloodedly,
  -Bill
--
"I am a Dan Quayle Republican and damn proud of it!"
  -overheard at a $1000 per couple Republican fundraiser.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The dickheads on rec.arts.movies
From: cs226a030@husky1.stmarys.ca
Date: 22 Jul 92 15:15:55 -0400
Organization: St. Mary's University, Halifax, N.S., Canada

In article <=afm2f-@lynx.unm.edu>, hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
> In article <17112@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
>>
>>When I was little, I watched "movies". Then I hung out with an older
>>crowd who watched "films". There is a difference. Movies are fun and
>>films are "good for you". 
> 
> When I was in college we would compromise. Half of the flicks would be
> films, usually with subtitles, with such fascinating names as *Mon Frer
> Injection de Bouf* (My Brother the Tractor Repairman) or some such rot.
> Without fail, the subtitles would be white letters on a white background,
> and only those who could understand idomatic French got the jokes. For
> some reason, all of the French films had the *same* soundtrack; sort
> of a jaunty accordion thing (but not They Might Be Giants). We'd sit down
> to watch *My Tedious Life with Jacque* and sure enough, as soon as the
> first dude came by wobbling by on his ObBicycle, there would go "that
> goddamn French movie song."
> 
> The rest of the time we'd watch movies like *Redneck Zombies* ("They're
> 'shine drinkin', chaw spittin', cannibalistic kinfolk from Hell!").
> 
> !Peeve: *Redneck Zombies* is *so* bad that in one scene when a RZ is
> attacking this guy the guy's shirt *changes*!
> 
> Peeve: Talking about movies with my mom. She bases her opinions of all
> movies on what movie reviewers write. "No, I don't want to see that,
> it got lousy reviews." Jesus! I can't think of any professions I have
> less respect for (other than insurance salespeople, of course) than
> movie critics. My philosophy is if the *idea* of the movie sounds cool
> than I'll watch it. ("Mutant ants attack Albuquerque! Coooooolshit!!!")
> 



I do this, too! For all of you out there who susbscribe to this point o' view,
I recommend Bloodsucking Pharoas from Pittsburg, if for no other reason than
to see the looks on the faces of your friends when you tell them what you saw 
last night.

ObPeeve: I Was a Teenage Zombie. It had some funny parts, but the sound was so
bad, you couldn't tell what people were saying!
Later
Mike

> d "i confess. i paid money to see *highlander 2*" h
> -- 
> | _   ;/                                                          Dan Hillman
> |(")_/   "I'm right and you're not."                   hillman@carina.unm.edu
> |~~/                                                 University of New Mexico
> |~/                                               Land of Fucking Enchantment
From: CEG112@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: car/driving peeves
Date: 27 Jul 92 17:26:14 GMT
Organization: Penn State University

Or how about this one.  The ever popular making a right turn while at a red
light.  If there's no sign saying you can't do it then do it.  I hate getting
stuck behind someone who doesn't believe in turning on red then you have to
sit through the light another 15 minutes.  Or better yet the people in the fast
lane that drive slower than the people in the normal lane.  If the speed limit
is 55 then go 60.  They just put around.  Either use it or get out of it and
let others use it.
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (Bite My Ass)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: ur-un-us
Date: 29 Jul 92 15:38:19 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: The Silicon Valley Home for Perverted Hackers

Now CNN is doing it: hair-uss as the root word in all forms of "harass"
From: dab@ism.isc.com (David A. Butterfield)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Bike Helmets
Date: 30 Jul 1992 20:02:19 GMT
Organization: x
NNTP-Posting-Host: change
Keywords: bikes, safety, law

Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
= [peeve about BDI cyclist slamming on his brakes just in front of a bus]
=
=If the bus *had* hit him, he'd have had no comeback whatsoever, since
=myself and about five other passengers, as well as a load of people on
=Princes Street saw exactly what he did. Not only was he endangering his own
=life, but those of all the passengers on the bus. If the case had come up
=in court (whether the bus had hit him or not) *he'd* have been the one on
=the losing end.

Peeve:  In California it doesn't matter what stupid actions a BDI
	takes -- if you rear-end him, it's your fault, even if he
	slammed on his brakes for the specific purpose of causing
	the collision (which of course he would never admit).

!Peeve:	Being one of the few people in California who's not a lawyer,
Peeve:	I don't know if the above Peeve is really true.

Dave
-- 
    They're nasty little creatures and they serve no useful purpose.
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Diarrhoea
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 18:06:38 GMT

In <1992Jul17.101155.10529@mr.med.ge.com> hinz@bonfire (David Hinz Mfg 4-6987) writes:

>Now I'm sure _this_ should be an alt.tasteless, but could you please, Please,
>PLEASE tell us which antihistamine this was?

let's see....

Ah!  Here it is!  Ex-lax. :)
--
"Take me down where the love honey flows,
 kiss you nice, nibble your toes."      -B-52s, Good Stuff
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: More Kids...
From: peregrin@husc13.harvard.edu
Date: 27 Jul 92 11:41:57 EDT
Organization: Harvard Business School

> Okay, I want to know if this is just a local thing or what...
> 

	I see it here in Boston.

> 3 and 4-year-old kids in strollers. My GDO, what's wrong here? Is
> this just another thing for spoiled little Long-Island shit-kids? 
> Do their stupid yuppie parents think this is what's best for 'em? 
> Or do they think little Brendon won't be able to keep up with 'm
> while touring the mall? I got news for you, kids under the age of 7
> or so have special "after-burners" they can kick in, enabling them
> to break the sound barrier when necessary... Little vermin.
> 

	I always assumed that when going out with the kids, the object was
to tire them out ASAP.  That way they go to sleep and don't bother anyone.
Sure, they may get cranky, but if people would stop stuffing their kids
with soda pop and candy, maybe these kids could tire out naturally, instead
of grinding to a whiny halt like adults do after they burnout from caffeine.

	Don't people want their kids to get exercise?  Let them get tired
and worn out.  It is good for them.  Maybe Mom and Pop could burn off a few
calories chasing junior through the mall.  That way mom could buy something
more than polyester stretch pants and Pop could see his feet when he looks
down.

	I can't imagine anything worse than dealing with a cranky three
year old who has spent 3 hours being pushed around in a cart, not being
able to run around.  The kid has got energy to burn and where does it go?
It goes into pestering and kneedling the parents in line at the convenience
store for more of that Coke and heart-thumping candy.

	Make that kid walk.  5 miles a day sounds good to me.

-James

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU (Bruce Elliott)
Subject: Re: The Invisible Enemy
Organization: Yale University Computer Science Dept., New Haven, CT 06520-2158
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 04:53:59 GMT

In article <24271@castle.ed.ac.uk> egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
>
>PartingPeeve;  This is one that has pissed me off for ages.  Every time
>I logon/logoff in fact.  I am a good touch typist.  Why is it that every
>time I logon it takes 5 minutes and 15 different spellings?  Ditto when
>I logoff.  
>
I have *exactly* the same problem.  I think it's because I have typed the
desired word so often that I basically try to hit all the keys simultaneously.
So "logout" turns into something like "lgouto"

TypingPeeve:  When I was an undergrad, I worked in the student computer labs
helping people who asked dumb questions.  It was awful when I went to help
someone at their computer/terminal and had them type something in, only to
find that they couldn't type at all.

Me:  Type in "watfor assign1".

Them:  <peck>  (pause)  <peck> <peck>  (pause) (pause)  <peck>

AAARRRRGGGHH!!!!  It was enough to make me want to push them out of the
chair and type it in myself.  I can't imaging how people like this make
it through college.  Writing papers must be sheer hell for them.


Alex Elliott
The Lemming.
elliott@minerva.cs.yale.edu

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky)
Subject: Re: Bike Helmets
Keywords: bikes, safety, law
Organization: Technical University Vienna, Dept. for Realtime Systems, AUSTRIA
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 14:27:56 GMT

pfinkel@cbnewsb.cb.att.com (paul.d.finkel) writes:

>While I do not object to other people wearing bicycle helmets, 
>why must my kids wear them? Instinctively I would say that kids 
>have fewer accidents riding bikes than adults because they spend 
>more time on bikes and because they have sharper reflexes.

well, i can remember a fair number of accidents i had when *i* was a kid.
after that testosterone production started, the rate dropped sharply. 
i attribute this to the reflections on my mortality, which were then
forced unto me by my dawning recognition of life as a cyclic process. :-)

besides, i decided that i didn't need more than one eyebrow scarred from 
going over the handlebar and landing conveniently on my face.
that was a nice one: even though i had worn only shorts and a t-shirt, 
there were *no* bruises anywhere, except for that cut about 1cm above my 
eye, which the breaking frame of my glasses caused ... 

>If children could vote, this law would have never been passed.

true, but if children could vote, ken and barbie would be mr. and mrs.
president.  

on second thought, aren't they already?

-- 
Alexander Vrchoticky             alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
TU Vienna, CS/Real-Time Systems  +43/1/58801-8168
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bill@extro.ucc.su.OZ.AU (William Logan Lee)
Subject: Caffine abuse (was Re: stationery that bites back)
Keywords: ouch
Organization: Uni Computing Service, Uni of Sydney, Australia
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 13:20:57 GMT

In article <1992Jul21.045519.10868@cs.yale.edu> elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU (Bruce Elliott) writes:
>At another point while writing this paper, I managed to consume two
>liters of diet Coke in three hours.  To any of you who are considering
>trying this, I would not recommend it.

Don't you just love working at four o'clock in the morning after having
drunk 2 litres of Diet Coke the evening before.  Your body is saying,
"let's party!", but your mind is saying "I should be getting to sleep...
I should get some sleep...I know I'll need the sleep tomorrow". So then
you keep working and eventually the sky lightens and the sun starts to
rise, and there you are thinking, "I _should_ have got some sleep" and
hoping you won't fall asleep at work that day.

A friend was studying in University the night before an exam.  Some other
residents of the college in which we were living dropped by and, unbeknownst
to him, added about five "No-Doze" to his coffee.  Instead of studying for
a short while, then getting a good nights sleep, he stayed awake all night.
He said later that one of the worst symptoms was tremors of the arms.
(Hey, _I_ didn't know anything about it until two days later.)

Bill Lee
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 19:35:30 EDT
From: Jenni Sheehey <JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drug testing and welfare
Distribution: world

Jonathan Egre' <jonathan@mantis.co.uk> says:
>
>There is ALREADY a simple, effective and CHEAP mechanism for making sure that
>welfare recipients spend their welfare money wisely: welfare payments are
>so low that if the recipients don't spend them wisely, they starve.

That may be true in the UK.  However, one of the problems with welfare
in the US is that some people stay on welfare because it pays more than
some of the jobs out there.  Welfare doesn't allow you to live in a
palace (or even anyplace particularly nice) but if you spend some of
your money on drugs, you'll still have enough for food.

Peeve: the end of the New Deal era (1940's) saw the end of the WPA
(which hired out of work people to build things, and do road repairs and
other kinds of stuff), but not of welfare or social security.  All of
these were originally meant as temporary measures, which is why they
weren't better thought out.  Maybe if we just started from scratch...

                                                 --Jenni
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drug testing and welfare
Date: 30 Jul 92 14:45:33 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:

>[Mike's Randroid Manifesto mercifully deleted.]

This one again? For the last effing time Jeremy, I ain't read no Rand.
Wanna loan me *your* copy?

>Has anyone seen Mike and Ronald Reagan together in the same room? Are
>they actually the same person? I think we should be told.
>-- 

Just ask Ollie North. Reagan wasn't there.

>-Jeremy Henderson        egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk   

>(or am I?)

Has anyone ever seen Jeremy and Dan Quayl in the same room?

FoFP
From: egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: BDI: Who/what is it?
Date: 29 Jul 92 14:13:04 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <1992Jul28.074146.23212@sco.COM> charless@sco.COM (charles stross) writes:
>In article <1992Jul26.153219.1@gumby.mgi.com> thompson@gumby.mgi.com writes:
>>I gave it a shot. I read about a hundred articles and searched in vain
>>for a FAQ list. OK, I give up. What is a BDI?
>A BDI is a Big-Domed Individual; 

Hell, and there was me thinking that a BDI was a Bald Dame-Impaler, a
turgid, throbbing, vein-bursting, snatch-seeking 

WILLY

Babs
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Newbie Alert!
Date: 31 Jul 92 09:18:15 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <40315@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
=> A Flock Of Seagulls 

The thing I mostly remember about AFOS is the video in which it looks
like the keyboard player has got his index finger superglued into a hole, and
he spends the whole 3 1/2 minutes trying to get it iut.

=>Given the hassle it causes, I think shaving my head might be the best
=>option.

You could try sleeping whilst standing up. Maybe this is why you never see
a giraffe looking like a Seagull?



-- 
-Jeremy Henderson        egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk   

(or am I?)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Stirling Moss himselfw)
Subject: BDI drivers again
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Somewhere West of Nowhere
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 17:17:11 GMT


In article <92204.161904JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu>, Jenni Sheehey <JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
[stuff off the subject]
|>ObPeeve: Sometomes the BDI driver is a friend of yours.  It's difficult
|>to know what to do.  "Gee, did you realise that people generally frown
|>on you taking your half of the road in the middle?" "Guess what?  That
|>double yellow line means you're not supposed to drive over there." No, I
|>don't think I could say those things in such a tone of voice as to not
|>cool our friendship rather significantly.

So put on an obviously artificial stage voice, something completely out of
character - "Hey! You! Whadday, getcher license outa duh Sears catalog er
sumpin?" unless of course you already talk dat way. A Bit-O-Wit(tm) goes a
long way.

--
Nolan "Slower traffic keep right" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Newbie Alert!
Date: 29 Jul 92 10:44:20 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu (Jenni Sheehey) writes:

[......defending Dan Quayle?...]

>FreeFact: Most people polled in all of the radio polls by major stations
>agreed with Dan Quayle that a child is better off with both parents.

>People generally agree that what is done in Hollywood affects what is done
>in the rest of the country.  Har har har, what what a stupid point he was
>trying to make.

Probability: People probably generally agree that Mars is like Earth, in
the same orbit, and it has water, and if there's water there's oxygen,
and that means that people can live there.

You could probably find a few who spell potatoe like that too.

>Peeve: People who don't consider anything *but* the source.

Peeve: most folks are dumb, and therefore a bad source of information.

>                                                 --Jenni
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Is THAT all? (Was: a few random peeves)
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<76734@ut-emx.uucp> <24269@castle.ed.ac.uk>
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 18:32:15 GMT

<In article <24269@castle.ed.ac.uk> egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
<In article <76734@ut-emx.uucp> jean@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Jonathan Powell) writes:
<>Bwahahaha!!!  Boy, wouldn't that be nice?  Yesterday in Austin, it was 98
<>degrees Fahrenheit (that's 309.816667 Kelvin for those who don't like the
<>Imperial system of measurement), and that's not at all an unusual temperature.
<>Combine that with humidity typically over 80%, and what do you get?  An
<>electric bill for a 2 bedroom apartment that's over $100.00!

	I wish my electric bill was that low. 

	Oh, and we DON'T have central air conditioning; we use
	evaporative coolers, instead, because we get our
	AC from "El Peso Electric", the only Texas utility
	currently (that's a pun) in Chapter 11....

<Y'know, it sounds kinda funny from this vantage point in bonny Scotland
<to hear of somebody actually SPENDING MONEY to keep the place COLD!

	If'n you couldn't sleep because the noisy drip-drip-drip
	of sweat beads running down your ear was keeping you
	awake, you'd laugh a different way.

<   It's rather nice to hear actually.  I shall feel much better when I
<   climb into my thick woolly sweater tomorrow morning (despite the fact
<   that it's meant to be the middle of summer).

	It's all that Phillipine volcano's fault. Let's send the
	EPA (and whatever EC & UK bureaus are similar) down to
	Mt. Pinatubo so it can be "regulated"!
Newsgroups: alt.peeves