From: wadlow@bela.music.washington.edu (John Wadlow)
Subject: A quest for a book
Reply-To: jwad@milton.u.washington.edu
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1992 00:53:30 GMT


I wanted to share this.

Yesterday, I finally found a copy of "Bi Any Other Name" and bought it.

When I was about eleven I was shocked with finding out that I was  
attracted to guys and I had a hard time understanding it.  I really don't  
know where I found out about bisexuality but at the time I knew what it  
was and consequently told myself I was.  I was really scared that I was  
gay and confuse at the same time about my attraction towards women not to  
mention that my sexual dreams where with women.  Lots of other things were  
going on at the time, so I didn't put much emphasis on it.  In highschool,  
I had search the libraries for information on bisexuality and found  
nothing more then a paragraph or two, if that.  In college, I searched and  
searched for something a little more larger then a paragraph or two yet I  
could never find it.  I remember going into our university bookstore,  
which has a huge collection of books, and briskly walking by the gay  
studies section to find a book with some kind of title with the word "bi"  
in it but never spending quite enough time there to be notice or catch in  
all the titles.  I've gone to other bookstores and I would look around to  
see if anyone was around me and then look but I never found anything.  As  
my feelings as a bisexual strengthen and became clearer, I could at least  
look in the gay books and find a little information but never anything  
that was really helpful.  

I happened to find soc.bi on accident while reading other news and seeing  
a reference to it.  I finally found a place that seem similar to me and a  
name of a book that was about bi's.  Well, last week I went back to the  
university book store and went straight to the gay section and looked for  
the name.  I force myself to put my intimidations behind me and really  
look at the books.  Well, "Bi Any Other Name" wasn't there.  Later last  
week, I went to other bookstores and with no avail, I couldn't find it.   
<frustration> I decided to go to the area of town known for its gay  
community and look there. I found I bookstore with a huge selection of  
gay&lesbian books but no bi section.  Well, after awhile of looking I  
decide to ask the front desk (that took even more courage) and she showed  
me where it was (it didn't seem to have all that much in common with the
other books around it) and it was the only copy there.  I also found one  
other book about bi's.  I bought them both and on the way home read the  
book on the bus where I knew people might be able to see it.  

I haven't gotten very far but what I have read seems very comforting to  
me.

In the past three weeks (and the last six months of sort of being out)  
I've grown somewhat.  I realize that I have a ways to go but reading  
soc.bi and "Bi Any Other Name" and talking to others I was surprise to  
feel very good about myself yesterday and that feeling good about  
myself,my dear snuggle friends, felt incredibly good.

<cuddles> and <thanks>

john - thinking of all the people he hasn't met because of his shyness
jwad@milton.u.washington.edu

btw - in the magazine, "Mens Fitness" they have a small blurp on what is  
called a "Softub"  It's a "modern-looking, highly functional and almost as  
portable as its rubber-ducky-pool progenitors. It features all the  
standards of a usual hot tub...weighs a lean 55 pounds and comes in two  
pieces that fit through regular doorways"  It cost is $2,000.  Maybe,  
there is hope for us after all.  
  
Newsgroups: soc.bi