HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Thyra))
Subject: Re: a quiet introduction
Organization: The Polyhedron Group
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 01:59:28 GMT

In article <Bv9644.EnL@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, euclid@mrcnext.cso.uiuc.edu
(Elizabeth Kupfer) writes:
> >> With her left hand she pulls a cinnamon stick from a vest
> >> pocket, and pops it into her mouth.  Fragrant smoke starts to flow from
> >> her nostrils.  "Hope you don't mind that i smoke...happens everytime i eat
> >> something".                                                 

and

>   Euclid: "Yes, please.  Thank you....mmmmff (at this point the beans are roasting
>  in her mouth.  She looks human in almost all respects; about 5'2" and willowy,
>  wearing a baggy frock suit with a lacy,white shirt.  The hair is about
>  shoulder length and tousled like a horse's mane...except there's never been
>  a mane that was an even blend of black and silver.  The eyes, though, give
>  her away; they look like opals set in white glass and glitter alot.)
>  "tasty beans,these."
> 

<Thyra observes Euclid for a moment, then makes a comment to her.>

     My, my Euclid, I've never seen such a well-controlled case of
"heartburn" in anyone other than a Dragon or a Demon. And I've met a few of
both.

     I should warn you, whatever your nature, that you may well want to
steer clear of the "Dragon's Breath" that Jason, Pegasus, and I favor as a
mixed drink. While you would probably find it delectible, it would appear
that your digestive system operates at a temperature well above it's flash
point. It's flamable enough that an ordinary match can set it burning. You
may have noticed that it explodes quite nicely when a glass with a bit of
Dragon's Breath left in it is tossed in the fireplace. I dare say that if
you took a sip, it might well explode in your face. I certainly wouldn't
want that to happen, to you or to those around you.

Thyra
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: scm3775@tamsun.tamu.edu (Sean Malloy)
Subject: Re: colorfully descriptive phrases
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 06:17:18 GMT

>>-  As welcome as a hyperactive puppy at a housecat convention.
>As noisy as two skeletons fucking on a tin roof in a hailstorm

CD grins, and decides to break a promise he made to himself that he 
would 'just check mail' tonight.  "When I was working in Palo Alto
this summer, I took a little good-natured ribbing from coworkers
(and housemates) about being from Texas.  When I was in a good mood,
I'd play it up a bit.  Someone made the mistake of asking how I felt
right after a demo...  Which had been preceeded by a series of 16-20
hour days...  I responded, in my best southern drawl, like this:"

He picks up a piece of chalk, and writes in block letters.

- I feel like I've been ate by a bear & shit over a cliff.

-cd


-- 
 
  Sean C. Malloy  -  Texas A&M University  -  scm@tamu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pope@physics.su.OZ.AU (The Nightstalker)
Subject: Re: Our September 27th Birthday Boy!
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 03:32:08 GMT

In article <1992Sep28.020436.10520@cs.mcgill.ca> braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca  (The Didi-Sprite) writes:
>Hi, John Carney!
>
>Today is a rather significant day in your life, is it not?  I rather
>think that it is!  Yes!  It is ...
>
>		     YOUR   BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!
>
>And, you thought I forgot!
>
"Well, well, yet another birthday in this fine establishment.  Congratulations
to you John Carney for 27 years of life, and here is to many more."

<crash>

--
The Nightstalker....



Didling (participial vb.)
The process of trying to work out who did it when reading a whodunnit,
and keeping your options open so that when you find out you can allow
yourself to think that you knew perfectly well who it was all along.

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: On the razor's edge, or:  Hyperglycemia or Hypoglycemia, that is the question
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 02:03:26 GMT

StM writes: [ with deletions ]
><Hey, DJ, I think the group would like to know that the *OTHER* DJ (if
>that's not a good nickname for my boss, I don't know what is) is up to at the
>moment;  could I borrow Linda and Robbie (I've got specific reasons for wanting
>both of them, and the Bar-bee-que is *GUARANTEED* inedible) to report on my
>boss's current project?> <was that enough levels of inclusion for y'all?>])

    "No problem. Do you need FTL, laser cannon, time travel, dimension
  travel across tau,teh, ? Would generation ships be necessary ? how about
  Commodore Grimes ? Louis Wu ? Teela brown maybe ? how about a Ring World
Engineer ? A talking Kzinti female even ? < a big Kzinti grin >" Linda.


  "Or maybe bar-bee-que with barbs or straight tines ? Maybe a little 7-card
stud poker out back. Or liquor up front ? " Robbie. 

-- 
 Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science
 jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
  "Gad, I dislike beta-testing, it makes me fell all irky inside." me :-)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Thyra))
Subject: Re: Caramel apples
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 19:40:13 GMT

In article <jhitch.717828590@crash>, jhitch@crash.cts.com (Jeffrey Hitchin)
writes:
> 
> 	Grant pulls out his fondue pot and lights the flame.  He then
> pours a big bag of caramels into it and melts them.  In the meantime,
> he pulls a large bag of apples and inserts a large, flat stick into
> each one.
> 
> 	"Okay, this was Didi-Sprite's idea, and I'm more than willing
> to oblige wild flights of fantasy, especially when they involve me!"
> Grant smiles remembering a few trips through the X-window.  "Ahem,
> anyway, Didi said that taffy apples - which I'm interpreting as
> caramel apples, please correct me if I'm wrong - would just about hit
> the spot right now.  Seeing as how we're nearing Halloween, and lately 
> caramel apples have hidden some pretty nasty stuff, let me assure you
> that all that's in this is one apple, a caramel coating (Brach's) and
> wooden sticks.
> 
> 	"One condition, though.  Imposed by me, of course.  You have to
> dip your own!  Trust me, that's half the fun!":x

<Thyra jumps up and gets an apple on a stick from Grant, and dips hers in
the carmel. She looks at a moment and frowns. With a slight flicker, she
shifts from her usual feline/human form to a completely human woman, and
happliy takes a bite.>

     Mmmmmmm. Thanks Grant! Thanks Didi-Sprite! I love Carmel Apples, but I
hate getting the carmel stuck in my fur or my whiskers. I did that once and
took half the afternoon trying to wash my face.

<She listens to Jason's reply to Splash!, and throws a handful of peanuts
at Jason. He deflects them with the back of his PowerBook, but somehow they
curve aroung the screen and hit him anyway. Thyra says>

     -Base- humor? -Two bytes worth-? Jason, you are incoragable. No wonder
Pegasus makes you hold back on the puns when you are around her.

<Thyra curls up in a chair by the fireplace, and enjoys her carmel apple.>

<Purrs>
Thyra
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Thyra))
Subject: Re: Pet cats
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 92 18:20:09 GMT

In article <u906451.717509551@bruny>, u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien
Saunders) writes:
> 
> Greetings unto the bar from Damien.
> 
> Has anyone considered how hard it is to read the articles here with a mad
> pet cat running around the house???
> 
> Mike there's a dollar.
> 
> Have you got anything to slow a small black cat down???
> 
> Damien.

<Thyra twitches her whiskers and her feline tail and says.>

Have you tried a perforated plastic ball filled with catnip or fresh mint?
It seems to work rather well for most of my domestic cousins. 

Why is he/she mad?

<Purrs>
Thyra
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason))
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: More colorful phrases
Date: 4 Oct 92 06:21:46 GMT
Organization: The Polyhedron Group

Just thought of a few more:

Lets make like a tree and leave.

Said the trees, "Shall we leave?" To which the salad bar replied "Lettuce!"

Lets make like a shepard and get the flock out of here.

--
Jason
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: brumby@nella11.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara)
Subject: Re: psychokinetic water sculptures?
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 01:34:04 GMT

   In the brumby's opinion someone should water this thread down.

gryphon@openage.openage.com (The Golden Gryphon) writes:
>dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.com (Gillett, David) writes:
>>     This sounds like a definition of 'software' to me....
>Sounds more like 'wetware' to me.

   "Don't ware it out guys. It ain't all that hardwareing."


-- 
     The Silver Brumby of          brumby@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
      the Silicon Plains

      The grass is always greener on the other side of the network.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: gryphon@openage.openage.com (The Golden Gryphon)
Subject: Suicide (Was: Friends ... forever ...)
Organization: Open Age, Inc.
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 15:14:04 GMT

I will miss Arty myself, but I can't help thinking that suicide is the
cowards way out.  I have talked many of my friends out of suicide, and they
are mostly better for it.  I don't think suicide makes your problems go
away, I think you will be forced to deal with them in the next life, or the
one after that.  And then there are all the people you left behind...

I've been thinking of my own mortality lately.  Thing's aren't fantastic 
here at Open Age Inc., and I had this day dream of having the Gov't fake my
dead so Martha and I could go fight alien vampires.  Nice imagination huh?
In this little day dream (Which was before I read Smokes' post) my friend
Ben posted a message about my tragic demise on Callahans.

To see this about Arty was just too much for me.  And I started thinking about
how I would be remembered.  I don't like the idea of glorifying Arty's death.
There were a thousand places he could have turned for help.  That includes us.
I still think he took the easy way out.  Life is much harder than death. 

-- 
The Golden Gryphon 				gryphon@openage.COM
Solve a man's problem and he has 1 less.        No incumbents in 92.
Teach a man to think, and all his problems are less.
Openage - The Premier SCO UNIX integrator in the Washington D.C. area
From: s892057@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au (Neale Wolfson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: A test
Date: 7 Oct 92 03:09:33 GMT
Organization: RMIT Computer Centre
NNTP-Posting-Host: minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au
Summary: A test.
Keywords: test,ignore

   A test for all seasons.  I've been told that now I should be able to 
direct post to the newsgroup.  This test is just to confirm that.  If it
works you may well be seeing alot more of me soon.

    The (Hopeful) Wolf.

-- 
**************************************************************************
*    This post is brought to you by The Wolf (Neale Wolfson)             *
**************************************************************************
*  s892057@minyos.xx.rmit.oz  * Full Time 3rd Year RMIT Computer Science *
From: carrot@bear.stonemarche.org (Little red-headed girl)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Back again
Distribution: world
Date: 28 Sep 92 13:59:16 EDT

	Rachel walks in and looks about, then settles at the bar with a
drink, catching up on conversations. When Jack Smoke comes in and tells of
the Artful Dodger, particularly when he "speaks his death," she shakes her
head sadly. "Mike, please send a drink to that gentleman, and tell him I'll
pray for Arty," she says, thinking of Grandfather, a Cherokee shaman who
she had heard much about but died of cancer before she got to meet him.
She hopes that he will help Arty in his journey.

	Rachel greets John Carney and other new folks and goes over to hug 
Didi, Kitten, and DM at the hot tub, and to Jilara's table to hug her
and Liralen. With the help of Soora (green fire lizard) and Cameron (white
bear) she searches out Grant and hugs him too. She laughs at Feather's
antics and hugs her with one small hand, then hugs Thyra as well. She
also hugs Jason and Pegasus, hoping that their friend will be okay.

Finally, she gets her empty glass and makes a toast.

"TO THE END OF THIS BLOODY WAITING!!!!!"

<crash!!>

She sighs. "My husband is a software engineer in danger of being laid
off because of downsizing and reorganizing. He had an interview in
Seattle two weeks ago, but they still haven't made a decision. He's
applied other places, but..." She shrugs. "Sometimes I wish they would
just lay him off so I wouldn't have to worry anymore. Also, due to not
having enough time (or energy) for much outside of work, I've lost
touch with most of my SCAdian friends up here and that really hurts.
If I wanted to go find a friend (besides my husband, of course) the nearest
one is an hour away by car and I'd have to warn her first. Of my best
frinds, one is in Newton, MA (see above), one is Ann Arbor, MI, one is
in San Diego, CA (she grins at Grant) and the rest are in New York, not
counting net friends. Frankly, I haven't found a _really_ good friend
in the Nashua area... I thought I had one, but she hasn't returned my
phone calls in weeks... from a mutual acquaintance, I know a friend of hers
was injured and that she visits him every evening... but I _did_ leave
my work number (I can only receive calls there). Oh well.

	"Didi, how did you manage to create that hug in Zapf Chancery
lettering? I could use one..."


PS. Don't know when I'll have time to read news next- please email!
--
+--------------------------+----------------------------------------------+
|	carrot		   |	carrot@bear.stonemarche.org               |
+--------------------------+----------------------------------------------+
Organization: Sophomore, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 11:42:21 -0400 
From: Mark Beirne Lively <ml5a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Old Coots Test (was A grinning Nightstalker)
	<1992Sep26.001854.1861@muddcs.claremont.edu>

>>[...] And there's another one for old coots.
>>Did you go to a school where "grammar school" was grades 1-8,
>>and high school was grades 9-12?  I did." 
>
>Soprano looks up in surprise from the quilt she's working on. "I had no idea
>that high school was ever anything *but* grades 9-12!  But the school
>districts I was in considered elementary school to be grades K-6 and junior
>high school to be grades 7-8.  How old a coot does that make me? ;-)"
	What the grade splits are varies a lot from place to place.  Actually
in some places there are intermediate schools 7-8 middle schools (I
can't remember what the split is here) and Jr High schools 7-9.  All in
the same school district.  And this is from one of the best school
districts in the country.  Or so they said.  Shyeah Right!(Sorry saw
Wayne's World again last night)

Intellectual Detrivore
Bear aka the Lord High Rulebender aka (ML5A@ANDREW.CMU.EDU)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rlm7337@tamsun.tamu.edu (Richard L. Mcmahon)
Subject: A test of the national broadcasting system.
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 06:11:35 GMT


John Carney stands from his table and speaks...
"Hi there..just a quick question.  Well, really this post was to see
if I had really managed to change my "Sender:" field...been meaning
to fix that.  But also, I was curious..I get this message everytime
I post:
	You will be posting to the entire civilized world.  It will
	cost hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars to send to every
	computer system on the plant.  Are you sure you want to do this?
Does anyone get else get this, and is it true?  Or is it just a scare
tactic to keep people from fooling around?  I hope not," he smirks,"cause
it didn't work..."

John Carney (Incarnadine)
Castle BBS

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rlm7337@tamsun.tamu.edu (Richard L. Mcmahon)
Subject: A colorful phrase...sorta
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 06:59:24 GMT

How about:

	Make like a beta-test and bug out...


stop groaning!

John Carney (Incarnadine)
Castle BBS
From: seawasp@vm2.cis.pitt.edu (Sea Wasp)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: schools re: Old Coots Test
Date: 30 Sep 92 11:30:21 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh
Originator: seawasp@unixd2.cis.pitt.edu

In article <keulen.717827108@possum> keulen@possum.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Mike van Keulen) writes:
>Splash puzzles about the use of an unfamiliar term: sophomore.  I've read it
>before, but never worked out what one is.  Freshman (hasn't it turned to

	It's really quite simple. In high school (4 year) or college/university
(4 year bachelor's): the 4 years are freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.
Thus, if you're in the second of the four years, you're a suffermore.

	What I don't understand is this "form" business. What is first,
second, etc., form?


                                 Sea Wasp
                                   /^\
                                   ;;;
From: /G=Rhodri/S=James/O=SJ-Research/ADMD=INTERSPAN/C=GB/@MHS-RELAY.AC.UK
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Ping?  Ping, I say?
Date: 30 Sep 92 13:06:56 GMT


  Windsinger appears to be talking down some kind of speaking tube.  <<Ping?
Hello, testing, testing, anything there?>>  There is a loud rubbery >BOING!<
from the other end, and he throws the tube down in annoyance.

  <<Can anyone here help?  I get another newsgroup, comp.sys.acorn.tech. 
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be registered with the mail-to-post
converters either at Yale or Berkeley.  Does anyone know who I should moan
to about this;  I was hesitant about contacting postmaster@either, just in
case in was nothing to do with them!>>

---
Windsinger  -  Rhodri James    *  "If hot food is what you're cravin'
                               *   No throat lining's worth the savin'
Rhodri.James%gb.INTERSPAN.sj   *   If your stomach's got you ravin'
            @mhs-relay.ac.uk   *   Come into the Curry Queen!"
   or                          *
rmj10@phx.cam.ac.uk            *               -- Me
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mbr2@quads.uchicago.edu (Curious Of All Natures)
Subject: H]beauty[VE
Reply-To: mbr2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: Universtiy of Chicago
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 02:09:44 GMT

All-
        The subject heading itself is my submission for the best pun
I've ever heard.  I just ran across it tonight. To explain, it's a
member of the same category as...


  Wood
--------
  John                  = John Underwood, Andover, England
--------
 England


        A case of the drink of choice, my buy, goes to the first to tell
me how the subject line should be translated.  (e-mail only please!)


-Matt Ryan, perturbatively,
mb-ryan@uchicago.edu                Curious Of All Natures
==================================  ====================================
If I'm dreaming, never let me wake. You'll never see the end of the road
If I'm awake, never let me sleep.   When you're traveling with me.
               -old chinese fellow                        -Crowded House
From: eesshlgb@gdr.bath.ac.uk (S H L G Bisson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Old Coots Test (was A grinning Nightstalker)
Date: 2 Oct 92 14:55:23 GMT
Organization: School of Electrical Engineering, University of Bath, UK

In the referenced article, dgil@IPSAINT.IPSA.REUTER.COM (Gillett, David) writes:
>     So, it seems to me that the best construction we can put on the original
>question is something like:  Do you remember when there were -- wherever you
>grew up -- only Primary (variously called Elementary or Public) Schools and
>Secondary (or High) Schools?  Anybody who attended "Junior High", or "Senior
>Elementary", or some analogous system, must probably answer "No."
>     Naturally, this unfairly favours those whose local Boards of Education
>where backwards about such matters.

Ignatz looks across at Mentor, and grins.

"Of course, it gives advantages to the UK mob, as that is precisely the
basic classification used over here, if part of the state system.

"Primary covers 5-11 year olds, Secondary 11-18 (and can be called Grammar,
Comprehensive, and whatever an opt-out-school wants to call itself...)

"Much easier to remember than all this other stuff from all round the world!
It seems to keep the teaching profession fairly happy (or as happy as they
can be under our present government, with its myriad Education Reforms...)"

The cartoon mouse returns to his drink, and the copy of the new Storm
Constantine book he's reading.

---=-
Ignatz/Simon...
-=---
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Old Coots Test (was A grinning Nightstalker)
Date: 26 Sep 1992 22:15:25 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <STEVE.92Sep21141209@diana.Advansoft.COM>, steve@Advansoft.COM (Steve Savitzky) writes:
>Here are some for the computeroid Old Coots --
>
>o Ever use:
>  o A teletype?

Don't you mean an ASR33?

>  o A keypunch?

Yes.

>  o A flexowriter?

Never heard of it.

>  o Console switches?

Programmed an IBM Selectric Composer (my predecessors had nicknamed it HAL) to
sing a (barely) recognizable version of Daisy that way.

>  o A 407?

Never heard of it.

>o Know what a drum card is for?
>  o Ever make your own drum card?
>  o Ever make a trick one?

You mean those cards you attach to the drum on a keypunch to do things like set
tabs?

>o Ever use a computer with:
>  o A console typewriter?

Yes.

>  o A pre-Selectric console typewriter?

No.

>  o Cards?

Yes.

>  o Paper tape?
>  o A drum?

PDP-10 with swapping drum covers the above two.

>  o Main memory on the drum?

No.

>  o Registers on the drum?

No.

>  o Germanium transistors?

Never checked.

>  o Vacuum tubes?

Once.

>o Where were you when you first read the Algol 60 report?

I'll let you know when that happens.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This text
is included
to satisfy
the obnoxious new
software recently
installed on my
NNTP server
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: aaron@loki (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Memories of Arty
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 03:47:13 GMT

"I remember how I used to tease him about his login name.  I told him I was
bored with calling him 'Arty', and thought I might perhaps start calling him
P65331727 instead.  I think I did, once or twice, too."

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"And when the thunder breaks, it breaks for you and me."
   ---This Mortal Coil
Current Album--Skydiggers
Current Read--Damon Runyon:The Bloodhounds of Broadway
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rlm7337@tamsun.tamu.edu (Incarnadine)
Subject: Re: A test of the national broadcasting system.
Organization: Castle BBS
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 08:15:09 GMT

I have discoverd that, yes, it does cost to post, but that it's absorbed
by lots of different peoples, and that the message is really just to keep
people from wasting space...

Ok...

So why do they want to make US feel like we're costing some one entity
thousands of dollars to post one little tiny message?  It can make someone
parnoid!  Just wait, the IRS will come after us!

Spendin' lots of money...
John Carney (Incarnadine)
Castle BBS
Newsgroups: alt.callahans