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Date:         Tue, 28 Jul 1992 23:35:00 EDT
From:         "push the button, frank!" <SWEDE@DRYCAS.BITNET>
Subject:      the Tall Boys - a shoe in

From: MING the Destroyer <199561011@VUVAXCOM.BITNET>
>what is the alleged affiliation between the snuff lobby and the Tall Guys?
>and what do the illuminati have to do with this?

This would have to do with Mrs. Smith's husband, Snuffy.  The Bavarian
Illuminati (not to be confused with the M00se Illuminati) recently caused
Mr. Smith to be locked up for brewing intoxicating beverages.  The Tall
Guys, being in favor of intoxicating beverages, are lobbying for Snuffy's
release - hence our connection to the 'snuff' lobby.

From: Jamie <PL436000@BROWNVM.BITNET>
>I must say that I am concerned by the failure of any of the
>declared candidates to address the Shoe Issue in a direct way.

Shoes are Good Things, and more steps should be taken to pump more
of them into society.

>>8) The M00se Illuminati will replace the CIA, FBI, and other intelligence/
>>   coversion apparatusi
>The otherwise positive effect spoiled by hideous mangling of
>Latin plural. Again, perhaps a Lorson resurgence would help.

How careless of me!  I, of course, meant apparati.

>>7) Kegger!
>Here the services of Evens, Dickson, or myself are nearly
>mandatory. The three of us know why.

Your expertise will be most welcome in the Tall Guy administration.

>>2) Bill Saddam Hussein for Olympic Triplecast without letting him watch it.
>Very informative. I had no idea his first name was "Bill."

The CIA didn't know either.  A prime example why they should be scrapped.

>A couple of remarks, in closing, about the recent Peter Shoehorn
>comments. First, I am very pleased that Peter will be addressing
>the Anthem Gap. For too long the Australians have had the only
>R-rated national anthem. Hear hear.

The Tall Guy ticket is considering several possible anthems to replace
the old, distressingly dated one we currently have.  Among them:

* Dave Barry's "Adventure Dog" theme
* Wally Pleasant's "Psycho Roommate"
* the forklift song from Mystery Science Theater 3000
* anything by Divine Styler

Other suggestions are currently being entertained, and served tea.

From: Ghost of Abbie <AHOFFMAN@UMKCVAX1.BITNET>
>3) THe IRS needs to be abolished. The whole tax thing needs
>redoing, preferably by a four-to-six plan national referendum
>preceded by a few months of national discussion.

The Tall Guys have already endorsed the Freeman Plan, which
would entail the abolition of the IRS.

>6) Mandate "mental health days" as part of a work bennies package,
>equalling the number of days of vacation, and increase the size of
>vacation to 20 working days a year.

There has been disagreement amongst Evelyn and Abbie regarding
this plank, with Evelyn suggesting Zen, and Abbie suggesting Bennies.
The JohnsoN/OlsoN ticket suggests that what individuals do for their
mental health is their own business, and government should remain
neutral in such issues.

>11) Create a Department of Fun, or Merriment, with just the Humor
>Laureate of the Year out there lightening the more deadly moments.

That would conflict with my role as Vice President, I'm afraid.
Thanks for the offer, though.

Well, many questions have been answered today, and Tim should have an
announcement to make within the next few days.  Thank you, and good night.

Gary W. OlsoN, putting the    Milk: "Tag! You're Nipsey Russell!"
  'zeN' back in 'citizeN'     Cheese: "No!! Not the poet laureate!!"
SWEDE@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU  - Milk & Cheese (dairy products gone bad),
                                playing no-talent celebrity tag
Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU