From: kjenks@gothamcity.jsc.nasa.gov
Subject: Re: Funny spells
Originator: kjenks@gothamcity
Keywords: Weird Stupid Funny Insane Spells
Organization: NASA/JSC/GM2, Space Shuttle Program Office
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 02:21:56 GMT

In article <C01otK.836@sci.kun.nl> marks@sci.kun.nl (Mark Stoutjesdijk) writes:
>I was wondering... Wouldn't it be nice to make some sort of netbook
>of funny spells? 

Here are some slightly silly ones, taken from a larger list.

I have typed up a list of spells which player characters have
researched in my campaign, or which my player characters have
researched in other campaigns.   These have all been play tested, and
really do work well at the level indicated.  We play by AD&D1 rules
(PHB1, DMG1, MM1, DDG1, but no UA) with written house rules.  Note
that Contingent Polymorph is unnecessary if you allow that dreadful
Contingency spell in your game, but it does duplicate the effect
well-known from faerie tales.

Many of these duplicate the spell-like effects of magic items in the
DMG1, since I require a spell caster who creates a magic item to cast a
spell appropriate to the item, so a magic-user creating a Ring of Spell
Turning would have to actually cast a Spell Turning spell.  We have
also had clerics and druids who have researched spells, but I don't
allow cleric-types to share researched spell unless they worship the
same deity.

If you use them, please include attribution for the magic-users who
created these spells.

-- Ken Jenks, NASA/JSC/GM2, Space Shuttle Program Office
      kjenks@gothamcity.jsc.nasa.gov  (713) 483-4368

      ...who plays Paul (10th), Insley Hofton (13th), Shoogar (17th), 
         and Bobby-Joe (22nd and now divinely ascended).


-------------------------------------------------------------------
Disrobe (Alteration)

Level: 3rd M-U                    Components: V, S
Range: 6" + 1"/level              Casting Time: 3 segments
Duration: Special                 Saving Throw: Neg.
Area of Effect: One creature      Researcher: Insley Hofton (Ken Jenks)

Explanation/Description: The target of this spell must make a saving
throw versus magic.  Success indicates that the spell has no effect;
failure means that all magical and non-magical items worn by the
creature, excluding items held in hands, are stripped from the creature
and strewn in a 3' radius.  Items magically blink from the creature to
the ground and will not be harmed by the fall unless the creature is
flying more than 3' from the ground.

(Note: Insley has a kinky streak.  This was invented partly as an
amusement, and partly to strip all those nasty magic items from the
bad guys.  It's best combined with Unseen Servant, Telekinesis, or
light-fingered friends which can pick up the items thus removed.)


Gaseous Form (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 4th M-U                    Components: V, S, M
Range: Touch                      Casting Time: 4 segments
Duration: 1 turns/level           Saving Throw: Neg.
Area of Effect: Creature touched  Researcher: Paul/Purple (Ken Jenks)

Explanation/Description: This spell causes an individual, as well as
non-living items which it carries or wears up to 1000 gp weight per
level of the caster, to become gaseous in form and able to flow
accordingly at a base speed of 3" per round, subject to wind
conditions.  The gaseous form cannot be physically harmed except by
magical fires or lightnings, in which case damage is normal, but the
gaseous creature may be affected by mind-related attacks such as charm,
hold or suggestion spells.  However, a whirlwind causes double damage
to a creature in gaseous form.

The spell lasts for the entire duration and can only be removed by the
reverse of the spell.  During this period, the creature can see and
hear, but no magic items or spells may be used.  Psionics (except for
Body Weaponry and Shape Alteration) will function normally, and psionic
combat can take place.  Spells cast on the creature prior to this spell
will remain in effect for their normal durations (e.g. Resist Fire,
Protection from Lightning, et cetera).

The reversal, Solidify Form, allows the gaseous creature touched a
saving throw versus magic.  If the creature touched fails the saving
throw, the creature immediately resumes solid corporeal form and cannot
resume gaseous form for the duration of the spell.  

The material component for Gaseous Form is a mouthful of smoke; the
material component for Solidify Form is a mouthful of rock.

DM note: If the caster casts this spell on himself, he may include his
   own familiar in the area of effect.  If this spell, or its reversal,
   is cast on an unconcious or dead creature, it is allowed no saving
   throw.

(Note: Gaseous Form was specifically invented for battling vampires
with its reverse.  Dimension Door is a much better escape spell,
and Invisibility is a much better infiltration spell, but this one
is fun to spring on new DM's.)


X-Ray Vision (Divination)

Level: 4th M-U                    Components: V, S
Range: Touch                      Casting Time: 4 segments
Duration: 1 round/level           Saving Throw: None
Area of Effect: Creature touched  Researcher: Insley Hofton (Ken Jenks)

Explanation/Description: The recipient of this spell gains the ability
to see into/through substances which are impenetrable to normal sight.
Vision range is 20', with the viewer seeing as if it were normal light
due to expanded vision capability.  X-ray vision can scan 100 square
feet of area per round.  Secret compartments, recesses, drawers, and
doors will be located by X-ray vision.

   Substance              Thickness Penetrated      Maximum
    Scanned               per Round of X-Raying    Thickness
   ---------              ---------------------    ---------
   animal matter                   4'                 20'
   vegetable matter               2.5'                20'
   stone                           1'                 10'
   iron, steel, etc.             1 inch            10 inches
   lead, gold, platinum           nil                 nil

(Note: This was Insley's kinkiness surfacing again.  With this and
Disrobe, he's a real pest to the ladies.)


Spell Turning (Alteration)

Level: 5th M-U                    Components: V, S, M
Range: 0                          Casting Time: 5 segments
Duration: 5 rounds/level          Saving Throw: None
Area of Effect: Personal          Researcher: Grimbor (Doug Newcomb)

Explanation/Description: This spell distorts the three normal
dimensions with respect to magic spells directed at the magic-user.
Any spell cast at the magic-user will usually rebound, in part or
perhaps in whole.  When a spell is directed at the caster, percentile
dice are rolled and rounded to the nearest decimal, i.e. 1-5 is
dropped, 6-9 adds 10, so 05 equals 0% but 96 equals 100%.  The score of
the percentile dice indicates what portion has been turned.  Damage is
awarded proportionally.  Saving throws for both opponents are adjusted
upward by +1 for each 10% below 100%; i.e. 80% equals +2, 70% equals
+3, ... 10% equals +9.  See the table below.

Spells which normally allow no saving throw may be negated of inflict
half normal damage if a special saving throw is made.  For each 10% of
the spell turned, allow a save of 5% (1 in 20); see the table below.
This special saving throw is not modified by race, magic items, or
other conditions.

     die  percentage  saving throw    special
    roll    turned        bonus     saving throw
    ----  ----------  ------------  ------------
    01-05      0%          --            --
    06-15     10%          +9            20
    16-25     20%          +8            19
    26-35     30%          +7            18
    36-45     40%          +6            17
    46-55     50%          +5            16
    56-65     60%          +4            15
    66-75     70%          +3            14
    76-85     80%          +2            13
    86-95     90%          +1            12
    96-00    100%          --            --

Spell turning does not apply to spells which affect an area and are not
cast directly at the magic-user, nor spells which are delivered by
touch, nor magic delivered by devices or at-will abilities, such as
rods, staves, wands, rings or other items, or monsters' abilities such
as a devil's Hold Person or a storm giant's Lightning Bolt.

If the attacking spell caster also has spell turning, either through
ring or spell, the following table applies:

  01-70    spell drains away without effect
  71-80    spell affects both equally at full effect
  81-97    both spells (or spell and ring) are drained permanently
  98-00    both individuals sent through a rift to the Positive
             Material Plane

The material component of the spell is a small silver mirror.


Anti-Anti-Magic Shell (Evocation)

Level: 6th M-U                    Components: V, S
Range: 0                          Casting Time: 1 segment
Duration: 1 turn/level            Saving Throw: None
Area of Effect: 1'/level diameter Researcher: Grimbor (Doug Newcomb)

Explanation/Description: This spell prevents the effects of an
Anti-Magic Spell within its area of effect, provided that this spell is
cast prior to the casting of the Anti-Magic Shell.

(Note: Play testing shows that this is probably only a 5th level
spell.  It became necessary when an enemy archmage was found to favor
anti-magic shell as a defense, and all of the good guys' nifty toys
were suddenly useless.)


Contingent Polymorph Other (Alteration)

Level: 7th M-U                    Components: V, S, M
Range: 1/2" per level             Casting Time: 7 segments
Duration: Special                 Saving Throw: Neg.
Area of Effect: One creature      Researcher: Esmerelda (NPC, Ken Jenks DM)

Explanation/Description: This spell will Polymorph one creature (as per
Polymorh Other) into another until some set condition occurs, e.g.
Polymorphing a toad into a prince until he is kissed by a woman, or
Polymorphing a fighter into a dragon until he (it) says "I wish I were
human," etc.  The change from the Polymorphed form back into the normal
form takes place gradually over 5 segments, so it is impossible to
crush someone by Polymorphing a hippo into a flea, putting it on his
head, then triggering the contingency.  The material component of the
spell is a bit of honeycomb.


Prevention of Transmuation from Rock to Mud (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 7th M-U                    Components: V, S, M
Range: 1"/level                   Casting Time: 1 turn
Duration: Permanent               Saving Throw: None
Area of Effect: 4 cubic "/level   Researcher: Shoogar (Ken Jenks)

Explanation/Description: This spell prevents the successful use of a
Transmut Rock to Mud spell in the area of effect unless a successful
Dispel Magic spell is cast first.  The reversal totally negates this
spell.  The material component is a brick, or a sponge for the
reversal.

(Note: Use this when building your next castle.  A long study of the
attack strategies of high level parties reveals the need for this
spell.)


Freeze (Abjuration)

Level: 8th M-U                    Components: V, S, M
Range: 1/2" per level             Casting Time: 1 segment
Duration: 2-5 rounds              Saving Throw: None
Area of Effect: One creature      Researcher: Whitewolf (NPC, Ken Jenks DM)

Explanation/Description: This spell will  put one creature in Temporal
Stasis for 2-5 rounds.  This special Temporal Stasis cannot be
dispelled, but the affected creature cannot be harmed, contacted or
influenced for the duration of the spell.

(Note: The short, variable duration makes this more of an "escape from
the bad guys" spell than an attack spell, but you can always pick up
your newly-created statue and do interesting things to him -- as long
as you're done quickly.  This works best if you have cliffs or
volcanoes nearby.)


Stone Protection (Abjuration)

Level: 8th M-U                    Components: V, S, M
Range: 1"/level                   Casting Time: 1 turn
Duration: 1 hour/level            Saving Throw: None
Area of Effect: 3 cubic "/level   Researcher: Whitewolf (NPC, Ken Jenks DM)

Explanation/Description: This spell will protect any magical or
non-magical stone in the area of effect from the following spells:
Transmute Rock to Mud, Passwall, Phase Door, Disintigrate, Stone to
Flesh, Animate Object, Earthquake, Polymorph Any Object, Stone Shape,
Distance Distortion, and Animate Rock.  It further gives the stone
affected +3 on saving throws against other attack forms (Fireball,
Lightning Bolt, cold, acid, blows, etc.).  An Earth Elemental can
neither be conjured in the area nor enter it.  This spell will have no
effect on Stone Golems or Clay Golems, but it will prevent Xorn, Umber
Hulks, Purple Worms and similar creatures from burrowing in the
affected area.  At the DM's option, non-standard spells, spell-like
effects (e.g. Horn of Blasting), and psionic abilities which affect
stone may be prevented from operating.  This spell can be made
permanent by Permanency spell with the loss of one point of
Constitution from the caster of the Permanency spell.  The material
component of this spell is a boulder of at least 400 GP weight.

(Note: Again, this is a pretty silly spell just for castle defense.)
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