HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: train@gvls2.gvl.unisys.com (Herbert Rutledge)
Subject: Game Show for Dan Quayle
Organization: Paramax Systems Corporation, Paoli PA
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 16:37:45 GMT


  Oh, that's easy.  It has to be a quiz program for the following reasons:

     1.  It's not a new idea

     2.  The Quiz Shows of the late 1950s were VERY popular, and so were
         rigged to keep the audience coming back for more

     3.  The Quiz Shows of the '50s were all sponsored by cosmetics companies,
         which leaves a way to showcase the Vice Presidentress.

   Some format suggestions:

     1.  The questions have to be VERY easy.  Even easier than the questions
         on "The Joker's Wild."  So easy, that if you, the viewer at home,
         missed one, you would quickly wisk yourself off to the kitchen to
         dispatch yourself with the gas oven.  Only during the final elimination
         round would truly hard questions such as, "What is the capital of
         Venezuela?" and "Who was the 16th President of the United States?"
         be allowed.

     2.  The use of an "Isolation Booth" for the containment of the contestants
         during their questioning is mandatory.  This way, the contestants can
         be made to feel "out of the mainstream."

     3.  For the first time since Barbara Walters left the "Today" show, a
         television hostess (the lovely Marilyn Quayle in a natural-dyed ranch
         mink from Dicker and Dicker of Beverley Hills) could do live commercials.
         Imagine, for a moment, that a cosmetics company such as Revlon is the
         sponsor.  The commercial would have the theme "The Most Beautiful Women
         in the World Wear Revlon" and then feature an extreme close-up of
         Marilyn, her vast oceanic expanse of gums framed in lurid Fire and Ice
         lipstick.  (This assumes that the makeup department has access to
         unlimited quantities of DAP Spackling Compound to hide the crow's feet
         and a Black and Decker Pow-R-Painter to apply the blusher).

   Some suggested show names:

     1.  "The Big Payoff"  (only those at the crest of the baby boom will
         remember this one - Marilyn will get to play the part of Bess Meyerson)

     2.  "The $32 Question" (my how inflation has taken it's toll)

     3.  "Concentration"  (well, after all, the wealthiest 1% of the nation
         controls a larger share of the national wealth than ever before)

   Theme song:

     No competition:  "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off" by George and Ira Gershwin
     ("You say poe-tay-toe/ And I say poe-tah-toe").


   Oh well, that's my 2 and 1/2 cents.



Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: garrett@Ingres.COM (QUOTE OF THE YEAR)
Subject: Re: Bye Bye Dan
Summary: Have no fear
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 1 Sep 92 02:30:24 GMT

In article <1992Aug29.074142.27342@athena.cs.uga.edu>, stanton@athena.cs.uga.edu (Cathe writes...
>Ah sir  you mourn the loss of this fair group, but keep your shoulders
>straight, your spirits up and your vision straight ahead, for as long 
>as there are Americans, there will be idiots in power equally as easy
>to ridicule as Danny Boy.  Sure they  may not have the exact same quin-
>tissential charm, but they'll have their own lovely quirks and idio-
>syncracies.  And hey, if all else fails we can still find Quayle tid-
>bits here and there and I can guarantee he will still continue to make
>a fool of himself. 

I have no fear that the country that elected a second-rate actor as 
president and made a hero of Ollie North will find a public position for
Vice-President Potatoe Head. I'm looking forward to years and years of
hilarity from the name-sake of this news group. 
	The only thing I'm scared of is...PRESIDENT QUAYLE!
It's possible. It's even likely that we will have FOUR MORE YEARS of
vice-president Dannikins. 
	<shudder>
> 
>As Danny himself put it we need to "Go forward to the future!" Not
>"Past....to the back."
> 
>Catherine Stanton
>-- The 100% American is 99% an idiot -- 
>   George Bernard Shaw

-Garrett
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3107 alt.politics.bush:3397 alt.politics.clinton:3422
From: born@scepter.raleigh.ibm.com (Christopher J. Born)
Subject: Re: "I can even forgive Bush for Dan Quayle, but not for this."
Date: Tue, 01 Sep 92 02:09:31 GMT
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.037 by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: born@scepter.raleigh.ibm.com (Christopher J. Born)
Organization: IBM T. J. Watson Research

In  <31AUG92144344@adcalc.fnal.gov>  glass@adcalc.fnal.gov (Michael Glass) writes:
>      In article <JASON.92Aug31124754@ab20.larc.nasa.gov> Jason C. Austin
> <j.c.austin@larc.nasa.gov> writes:
>
>      [No need to repeat it--you have all read about how the Hurricane
>       wasn't Geo. Bush's fault.]
>
>      If I may add briefly to Ms. Stanton's excellent reply:
>
>      After hurricane Hugo and the 1989 San Francisco earthquake, FEMA was
> _roundly_ criticized for being much more than the proverbial day late.
> Neither "emergency" nor "management" fit its plans--all that remained
> was "federal" and "agency."
>
>      The problem is that George Bush and his cronies in the White House
> don't really view their function as serving the public.  If they did,
> heads would have rolled in 1989 and FEMA would have been johnny-on-the-
> spot next time around.  Bush probably said all the right things when he
> heard about the hurricane, but I'd bet it never entered his little head
> that the federal government, Geo. Bush presiding, is supposed to DO
> something.
>
> -- Michael Glass
>    glass@adcalc.fnal.gov

And to add:

I was listening to NPR-ATC (08/27/92) that had a report on FEMAs
response to Andrew. The report went on to discuss how FEMA is the dumping
ground for incompetent political appointees and how a director
or the director just resigned last week.  I believe that George Bush
has missed a wonderful opportunity...we shall see.

Christopher J. Born

born@ralvm48.vnet.ibm.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: mack23@avalon.eecs.nwu.edu (Chris Walsh)
Subject: Re: Quayle/Bush Competency?
Organization: My desk in the Tech building
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 21:25:18 GMT

In article <l9nmbkINNck2@aludra.usc.edu> rone@aludra.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri) writes:
>Eh, hello?  It's only a drop in the bucket.  Most of the crime here is per-
>petrated by US Citizens.  SOme of them aren't even citizens yet because they're
>under 18.


WHAT?????????  I wonder how I got my passport at age 14 then? 
There's a sentence in the Constitution that says something like this:

"All persons born or naturalized in the United States are citizens of 
the United States and of the state in which they reside"

Of course, only those 18 and over may vote, which may be confusing you.

I'd have to say that, on the whole, you quayled up.

Chris


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: linley@qucis.queensu.ca (Richard Linley)
Subject: Re: Quayle
Organization: Computing & Information Science, Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 20:11:13 GMT

popec@fennec.sccsi.com (William C. Barwell) writes (in part):
>There is an article in the August 25th issue of 'The New york Village 
>Voice' entitled 'Caught In The Headlights' 'bout lil Danny...it 

>  When Dan Quayle wants his kids Corrine and Tucker to absorb some good 
>family values, he sits them down in front of Bible Study Audiocassettes 
>recorded by R. B. Thieme, (Pronounced Teem), pastor of Houston's Berachah 
>Church, a minister known to sometimes awe the faithful by showing up for 
>a sermon in full military uniform...

>  No traditional prayer is uttered. a simple rousing a cappella 
>rendition of "Onward Christian Soldiers!".  Then Paster Thieme fires up 
>the overhead projector mounted on the dais... 

This is good stuff.  "Onward Christian Soldiers" was, of course, written by
Sir Arthur Sullivan in a weak moment.  His other religious and quasi-religious
music is generally better (e.g., "The Lost Chord"), but it is the work he did 
with Sir William S. Gilbert that he is best known for.  G & S operettas 
(H.M.S. Pinafore, The Pirates of Penzance, Iolanthe, The Mikado, 
The Gondoliers, etc.) regularly dealt good-natured but devestating blows at 
buffoon politicians.  What a beastly shame that Quayle and Gilbert missed 
each other by the better part of a century.

	Richard.
 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: dks@MIT.EDU (dks)
Subject: The ad campaign continues (#8)
Date: Sun, 23 Aug 92 16:53:22 EST
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#8 in my "Buy George!  He IS for Sale!" series of campaign stickers:





   ---------------------------------------------------------

        1992       George Bush  &  Dan Quayl       1992
        
          "Status quo" is Latin for Change -- Honest!

   ---------------------------------------------------------





Paid for by Latin Americans for Quayl.




 -- Dhanesh

Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3316 alt.politics.bush:3901 alt.politics.clinton:3874
From: bsmart@bsmart.TTI.COM (Bob Smart)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
Subject: Re: "I can even forgive Bush for Dan Quayle, but not for this."
Date: 2 Sep 92 04:30:01 GMT
Reply-To: bsmart@bsmart.TTI.COM (Bob Smart)
Organization: Citicorp+TTI

In article <1992Sep1.030936.6252@athena.mit.edu>, dks@athena.mit.edu
(dks) writes:
> Which only makes me wonder why people like George and Dannikins
> want so much to occupy the White House in the first place.  Perhaps they
> think their role is ornamental?

I don't think that's it (well, maybe for Dannoe, but not for George).  I
think they (correctly) estimate that their opportunities for plundering
while in office will far outweigh the occasional disaster that might
come along.  Into each life, a little rain must fall (or in the South,
LOTS of rain) but the brief interruptions that earthquakes, floods,
hurricanes, and so forth might cause still leave plenty of time for
raiding and pillaging the other 50 weeks out of the year.  It's still a
pretty good job, if you can land it.

---------

A fanatic is someone who does what he knows that God would do if God knew the
facts of the case.

Some mailers apparently munge my address; you might have to use
bsmart@bsmart.tti.com -- or if that fails, fall back to
72027.3210@compuserve.com.  Ain't UNIX grand?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: jpinteri@gdansk.qualcomm.com (Jay Pinterics)
Subject: Re: Quayle/Bush Competency?
Organization: Qualcomm, Inc., San Diego, CA
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 22:23:30 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.182401.6733@u.washington.edu> sieferme@milton.u.washington.edu (Eric Sieferman) writes:
>In article <17ji3vINNq0q@agate.berkeley.edu> mazzarel@oreo.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli) writes:
>>
>>"How did you do on your test Ariel?"
>>
>>"I quayled it."
>>
>(other quayleism deleted)
>
>
>More submissions requested.
>

Or, "I've been standing in the unemployment line all day.  Boy, am I
bushed."

-- jlp



Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3198 alt.politics.bush:3612 alt.politics.clinton:3611
From: snoopy@crchh426.BNR.CA (Antonio Tello)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
Subject: Re: "I can even forgive Bush for Dan Quayle, but not for this."
Date: 31 Aug 92 20:02:14 GMT
Reply-To: snoopy@crchh426.BNR.CA (Antonio Tello)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.

>jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann) writes:
>
>When the hurricane was almost at Bermuda, and the Weather Channel
>announced it was a Category IV with expected top wind speeds ~150mph,
>I turned to my husband and said "Bush is a fool if he doesn't get the
>army down there now".  I'm no expert, but I expect my leaders to assess
>potential emergencies at least as competently as I.  His only possible
>excuse is that sending in troops with supplies was logistically
>impossible, and he's not using it.

There in no way I would vote for Bush but on this point it is necessary
to point out that Bush can not send the army into a state without the
Governor requesting that it be done. Gov. Childs when asked by CNN If
he requested that the army be sent in when Bush was touring the state
dodged the question.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
These thoughts are mine alone and not supported by my company, friends
or relatives. Please consult your parent, guardian, lawyer or local
law enforcement ageny prior to following any advice contained above.
NOTE: I am on a Canadian node and need distribution of NA to see your
pithy replies. E-mail to snoopy@crchh426.BNR.CA.
From: dascoser.bbs@cybernet.cse.fau.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Double messages on abortion
Date: 28 Aug 92 19:00:26 GMT
Organization: Florida Atlantic University, Boca Raton

"Joshua M. Sabloff" <jsa5+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:

> Buchannan?  Ya, he would pick Hitler's corpse to be his running mate. 
> With Mussolini as his secretary of state.
> 
> :-(
> 
> 
> -Josh Sabloff (jsa5@andrew.cmu.edu)
> "Now go away before I taunt you a second time-a!"

Nah, they're much too liberal for Pat

Dascoser
From: dks@athena.mit.edu (dks)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Tucker's e-mail
Date: 1 Sep 92 02:53:20 GMT
Organization: MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA.


Unless you'd like your kids held responsible for your crimes,
please leave the guy alone.  He doesn't need us, we don't need him.

Thanks.


Dhanesh
From: horntho@eng.auburn.edu (Thomas J. Horn)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: I'm dragging out the old T-shirt
Date: 23 Aug 92 19:34:25 GMT
Reply-To: horntho@eng.auburn.edu
Organization: Auburn University Engineering

I was cleaning out a few old boxes in my attic the other day, when I ran across one
of my eight year old T-shirts:
  
		"DON'T BLAME ME: I voted for Bill 'n' Opus"

In light of the recent Republican National Joke, I think it's kind of appropriate,
so I dragged it out, washed it, and have worn it all day today. You wouldn't 
believe all the smiles/compliments/agreements I have gotten from total strangers
today...The question I have is, why would Opus make a better veep than Dannikins?
Just trying to fish for humorous replies...
 
---Tom
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: liuyh@vis.toronto.edu (Yuanhui Liu)
Subject: Re: Bye Bye Dan
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Toronto
Date: 1 Sep 92 20:53:52 GMT

In article <1992Sep1.202502.20027@u.washington.edu> cortez@milton.u.washington.edu (Tom Warner) writes:
>In article <1992Sep1.145410.27113@ugle.unit.no> leifmk@Lise.Unit.NO (Leif Magnar Kj|nn|y) writes:
>>
>>No, what's going to happen is the following:
>>	-During the next month, Bush will call on an international embargo
>>	 against Norway to punish us for whaling.  After several weeks of this,
>>	 he will announce that the embargo isn't working.
>>	-One or two weeks before the election, we get bombed.  Norway has even
>>	 less of a chance than Iraq did.  It'll be even easier than invading
>>	 the State of Washington; a quick victory to rush some IQ-reducing
>>	 adrenalin through a sufficient proportion of the American voters... 
>>
>All right! Let's get over there and kick some ASS!
>Make ourselves proud to be Americans again!
>
>>Leif (not an American either, although he once lived there; also glad)
>
>Oh yeah, what are you, some kind of Commie?!! Why don't you move to Ru ... er
>... Chi ... er ... Cuba?
>
>And what makes you think Washington state would be so easy, huh? Who's got
>Trident, ask yourself? Cower in fear, all you denizens of less militarized
>states!!
not to mention all those Aryan-Nationalist in the Northwest, they
will be thrilled to do battle with some no-so-white economical conscripts
from the inner city of LA, NYC, and Detroit.  


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: AH.PBL@forsythe.stanford.edu (Mark)
Subject: Re: Bye Bye Dan
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 16:33:46 GMT

In article <78985@ut-emx.uucp>,
llama@pooh.cc.utexas.edu (sine nomine) writes:
>Eber Lambert (elambert@qualcom.qualcomm.com) wrote:
>
>: I just want to bush this little tidbit: I lived in Indianapolis for 3 years.
>: Hoosier mentality made Deep South Mentality look like cultural elitism.
>
>i know texas isn't deep south, but...
>
>: The single most important thing in this state is the High School basketball
>: tournament.
>
>substitute football, and it fits for texas.
>
>we have phil gramm. and we had clayton williams, who thankgod didn't
>get elected to anything.

  Ah - but you also have ANN RICHARDS (Yea)!

  Her election gave me hope for (to quote H.R. Perot) "you people".

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: dianem@boi.hp.com (Diane Mathews)
Subject:  OOPS
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Santa Clara Division
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 16:22:29 GMT

OOPS!  I pulled a quayle.  Silly me, silly me, it was a momentary lapse of
thought.  Oh dear.  What I did, was, see, I posted a question to alt.politics.
bush, thinking that it was really alt.fan.dan-quayle.  The groups are appearing
more and more isomorphic.  OOOOOOPSIE.  At any rate, what I want to know is
this:  what's all the hubbub about Murphy Brown?  Exactly how much of his
own foot did our beloved veep get into his mouth?  Tell me, please, woodja?
From: elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 22:43:14 CDT
Organization: Minas Tirith BBS, New Orleans, LA

jc@optimla.aimla.com (John VanHoozer) writes:

> |> The bottom line is that, in the first week of November, Dano will no longe
> |> fun to abuse.  He'll just slide back into the abyss from whence he came.
> |> will still need a place to have fun with folks like Adolf Buchannan, Pat '
> |> Still Talks to Me' Robertson, not to mention the silly Democrats that will
> |> come
> |> back out of the woodwork after the Clinton/Gore campaign removes their
> |> muzzles.
> |>
>
>
> Perhaps we should leave things just as they are...  After all that would
> prevent Dan's slide into oblivion.   May be the charter for a.f.d-q should
> change to allow for ridicule and scorn of any politician.  DQ should remain
> as a standard for us to measure other political idiots by.  It would
> help keep on our toes: Be afraid.  It happened once.  Don't let it happen
> again!  Be very afraid!
>
> Just a thought.
>

'tis a thought.  I can remember a Doonesbury cartoon some years back where he
was lecturing on the evils of drinking and voting.  Trudeau (thgough Roland
Hedley) warned that we shouldn't drink and vote because our next President
might be Jack Kemp!

Given that Kemp is now one of the more 'respectable' Republicans, and there are
actually crazies worse than him that get air time, maybe you're right.



|Edward J. Branley                         elendil@mintir.New-Orleans.LA.US|
|Seashell Software                                UUCP:  rex!mintir!elendil|
|3508 North Woodlawn Avenue                          Compu$erve: 71237,2227|
|Metairie, LA   70006       voice: +1-504-455-5087     bbs: +1-504-455-8665|
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: shallit@graceland.uwaterloo.ca (Jeffrey Shallit)
Subject: Quayle gets it wrong again
Organization: University of Waterloo
Distribution: alt
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 13:13:02 GMT

-------------------------------------------------------------

New York Times, Sat. Aug 29, 1992, page 7
"Quayle Draws Distinctions on Environment"
by Kevin Sack

...Mr. Quayle reiterated that theme again today, adding that
"the National Academy of Sciences says that this level [40
miles per gallon fuel efficiency standard by the turn of the
century] is not even technically achievable."  But Richard
A. Meserve, a Washington lawyer and physicist who served as
the chairman of the academy's recent study on fuel efficiency,
said that Mr. Quayle had misunderstood a report by the academy
that had discussed whether cars that efficient would be
attractive to American buyers.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Somebody should tell Dan about the Honda Civic VX hatchback,
which gets 72 mpg on the highway, 52 mpg in the city.

Jeff Shallit
From: stanton@athena.cs.uga.edu (Catherine Stanton)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Dan's taste in movies and TV
Date: 27 Aug 92 20:40:28 GMT
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens

In article <AebBx9y00WBOE1zbF=@andrew.cmu.edu> jsa5+@andrew.cmu.edu (Joshua M. Sabloff) writes:
>Excerpts from netnews.alt.fan.dan-quayle: 26-Aug-92 Dan's taste in
>movies and TV by pat walsh@sphinx.phys.Vi 
>> C) Ferris Bueller's Day Off -- simply the greatest movie ever made
>
>Maybe Dano sees himself in it. 
>
Hate to burst anyone's bubble here but that would imply that Dan had
as much intelligence as the character of Ferris Bueller.    Come on,
Dan obviously didn't as he got his butt elected Veep, a thankless task.
(Not that there's any reason to thank him.)

Cat Stanton
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: lamorte@netcom.com (R. Scott LaMorte)
Subject: Quayle_Season.bin
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 92 20:31:38 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Summary: A Quayle Quotes QuickTime movie for the Mac


Heya, all, I haven't seen mention of it here, so I thought I'd share
something I found out on the internet.

It's called Quayle_Season.bin, and it's available via ftp from either
sumex-aim.stanford.edu or mac.archive.umich.edu, I don't recall which.
Anyway, it is in the Mac directory in the subdirectory
/art/qt/. I don't remember which site it was at, but I am sure it was
one of those two.

It's a several minute lobg QuickTime movie of Our Hero looking really
stupid. Quotes included are the "in other words, a good offense wins,"
several of his time-displaced quotes (like "I have made some good
descisions in the future"), and the awesome Hawaii's role in the
Pacific quote, complete with illustrated recaption. R. Nixon makes a
guest appearance.

The file is nearly 6 Mb in size, and requires a Macintosh and Apple's
QuickTime init to play.
From: mitch@lsil.com (Mitch Sako)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Tucker's e-mail
Date: 4 Sep 92 00:22:15 GMT
Reply-To: mitch@lsil.com
Organization: LSI Computing Systems

In article 25741@csl.sri.com, ronnie@cisco.com (Ronnie B. Kon) writes:
>In article <13576.2aa2d4bd@ohstpy.mps.ohio-state.edu>, vancleef@ohstpy.mps.ohio-state.edu writes:
>|> Seriously, leave him alone. Imagine being a freshman all over again, with
>|> 12 ZZ agents babysitting you 24 hours a day. It would suck, and seriously
>|> interfere with trying to have a normal college experience. I kinda feel
>|> sorry for the kid...
>Attending Lehigh University seriously interferes with having a normal college
>experience.  And I feel sorry for any kid with a birth defect, even if there is
>no telethon yet to help find a cure for Republicans.

I agree.  The internet is really a privilege that should not be abused.
It's a cooperative system which relies on self-controls.  I would hate to
see USENET attenuated in any way because the Danikin's kid gets unfairly
abused.

BTW, how do you know that Tucker is a republican?  If he has any brains,
he's probably not.

---
===============================================================================
Mitch Sako	LSI Computing Systems			Office	408-433-4187
internet:	msako@lsil.com				FAX	408-433-8796
uucp:		lsil!msako
RIME:		->REDBARON, conference=POLITICS
Disclaimer:	Opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone and do not
		reflect those of anyone else including my organization,
		my management or my mother
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton