From: carlson@ab24.larc.nasa.gov (Ann Carlson)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Congratulating (het) parents on their new baby
Date: 22 Dec 1992 16:36:20 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center, Hampton, VA  USA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: ab24.larc.nasa.gov

In article <Bzo2DH.DFx@cs.columbia.edu>, ji@cs.columbia.edu (John Ioannidis) writes:
|> Every once in a while I'll read on the local bboards in the places I
|> have accounts at, that Mr&Mrs so-and-so had a brand new baby, vital
|> statistics of the baby follow, and the message ends with how the
|> father is proud and the mother is resting at the hospital. The message
|> is invariably congratulatory.
|> 
|> So here are my questions:
|>

I question whether these are serious questions.  They do seem to be 
intentionaly clueless, but to give you the benefit of the doubt:
 
|> 1. Is it a het thing, and I just don't understand?

Not a het thing, no.  More of a thing to do with people who are interested
in children, future generations, families, etc.  Also, a thing to do with
people who are interested in their friends and co-workers lives and who
try to care about what their friends care about.  Nobody's required to be 
interested in children, but many people are; gay, bi, straight and whatever 
other categories you want to consider.

> 
|> 2. Is there something intrinsic to be proud of on the part of the
|> father? The only thing he has proven so far is that he has a working
|> reproductive system.

I would guess that both father and mother are proud of taking the first
step in the process of raising this child, assuming that they believe that
this is a good thing and a worthwhile activity.    
 
|> 3. WRT #2 above, is the father being congratulated on his bedroom
|> prowess, and the mother on being fertile? (Of course, it could be
|> congratulating the father for putting up with his wife, and the mother
|> for actually going through the trouble of having a baby, but I somehow
|> doubt that this is the case).

Assuming the child was wanted, perhaps they are being congratulated on 
being able to realize their desire - since so many would like to have
children and cannot.  Perhaps they are being congratulated on being 
willing to take on the responsibility of raising this child (see above).
Perhaps they are simply being congratulated because this event has made
them happy, and their friends like to see they happy.  At least, one
would hope that if the child was not wanted, the friends and family would
refrain from joyous birth announcements and congratulations.  
 
|> 4. Why do we never see such messages by same-sex couples? Or single
|> parents? Or adoptive parents? 

Why do *you* never see such messages?  I do.  my best friend who adopted
3 years ago sent out joyous adoption notices with all the usual statistics
about the child's characteristics - and we who love her sent her all sorts
of congratulations.  I've seen birth and adoption announcements 
for same-sex couples, single parents, people who win custody in divorce
settlements, foster parents who get a new child for awhile, even big-
brothers and big-sisters who get new assignments of children to work with
sometimes send out similar announcements to people who they think might
be interested.  
 
|> 5. Am I the only one with the (suppresed) urge to post followups along
|> the lines of "who cares?" or "only 10 pounds? You can hardly make a
|> pot roast out of that!"

If you're not interested or don't know the people, then maybe the 
announcement was a bit too generally distributed.  I would consider
it impolite to expect complete strangers to care one way or another,
but it's easy enough for me to understand a bit of overenthusiasm
when the birth of a child is a very *big deal* to a lot of people. 
Can't you just ignore it?  And, if these are people you know well or
work closely with, then why *aren't* you concerned with the things
that they find very important?
 
|> 6. Should I really be working on finishing my thesis and not bothering
|> soc.motss with my morning (very late night, actually) bitchiness?
|> 
I'll leave that one for you to answer.
-- 



*************************************************      
*Dr. Ann B. Carlson (a.b.carlson@larc.nasa.gov) *       O .
*MS 366                                         *         o  _///_ //
*NASA Langley Research Center                   *          <`)=  _<<
*Hampton, VA 23681-0001                         *             \\\  \\
*************************************************
Newsgroups: soc.motss