From: kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu (christopher zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Prime Time Wrestling - 14/12/92
Keywords: Opulent!  Splendiferous!
Date: 15 Dec 92 22:38:27 GMT
Organization: University of California, Riverside

Well here I am back in Modesto, far away from my friendly newsreader/writer,
but hopefully this will still make it through.

Prime Time Wrestling, shown on the USA Network 14.12.92

Same obsolete credits, leading into first match.

The Bushwhackers v. The Brooklyn Brawler and Wrestling's Greatest Legacy, Barry
Horowitz (Commentary by Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes)  Horowitz has some
NICE new trunks.  After about a half hour of posing, the heels jump the
'whackers, but of course they end up running into each other instead.  Of
course, Horowitz, being the superior wrestler, gets the upper hand on Butch and
for a *long* time, he and Kim take turns beating on him.  Just when you start
wondering if the 'whackers are being written out of the WWF, thus the loss,
Luke starts up a "Butch...Butch..." chant, and soon thereafter, the Brawler
runs into the post, and Luke comes in like a house on fire.

The "panel of experts" includes Hillbilly Jim, Sergeant Slaughter, Vince
McMahon, Bobby the Brain Heenan, and Jerry the King Lawler.  Fun banter 
compares Jim's hat the Jerry's crown.

The Berzerker v. Buck Zumhoff (Monsoon, Hayes)  And I had almost forgotten the
sheer joy of watching a Berserker squash match.  Listen to that crowd get into
the HUSS!  Watch the jobber get his arms stuck in the ropes after they
accidentally become unstuck!  Wonder when the Berzerker's face turn is coming
because Fuji can't handle the stress of managing two wrestlers and wearing two
different outfits!

Speaking of Fuji, Sean Mooney in the Event Center gives us a canned Yokozuna
(correct spelling) interview.  Again, his weight is given at 505.  I wish 
they'd settle on one number.  "YOSH!"

Even Vince can't pronounce the Sumo's name.

Tatanka v. Laverne McGill (Monsoon, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan)  Look!  An 
African-American Scotsman!  Tatanka is 100% ICOPRO, you know, and amazingly
enough, his undefeated streak does not end against a man named Laverne.
Incidentally, ICOPRO would like to wish you and yours a happy holiday.

WM9 ad.  "Opulent!"

Nailz v. Mike Collins (Vince McMahon, Heenan, King Jerry Lawler)  OK, at least
with Lawler in the booth, there's less time for Vince to talk.  I'm happy.
Listen to that Nailz-Undertaker hype!

Let us take you back to the Barbershop and the Rockers...oh, wait...

"Direct" from KABB in San Antonio is Shawn Michaels.  Michaels also correctly
mentions that Jannetty is back after "eight long months..." Hmm, a little
in-joke between Jannetty and Michaels and us?  Once again, Jannetty is "riding
his coattails."

"Direct" from WXTX in Columbus, Georgia is Marty Jannetty.  He's gonna kick
Michaels' butt, you know.  But it's Michaels wearing the ICOPRO T shirt, I 
don't think so.

The Beverly Brothers v. Jim Powers and Jim Brunzell (Monsoon, Hayes)  Finally,
Jim and Jim are reunited to lose together!  I wonder which one will get pinned.
Beau and Brunzell start, and Brunzell puts all of THREE moves together,
impressing Hayes.  Tag to Powers, who gets an elbow for his troubles.  Tag to
Blake.  Nice takedown by Powers.  It doesn't last, but neither does Blake, who
ends up in an arm bar.  Tag to Brunzell, and more seesaw, usually in Brunzie's
favor.  Double clothesline between Blake and Powers.  Blake finally wakes up
and powerslams Powers.  Finally, he tags to Beau, who works over Powers.  
Quick tag and double axe handle but ANOTHER double clothesline.  Both men tag,
and Brunzell cleans up the place.  If you were apprehensive that we weren't
going to get to see that phenomenal dropkick, worry not.  It was DEVASTATING.
Blake runs in to stop the count at 2, and while Powers comes in to be 
distracted, Beau coldcocks Brunzie and wraps him up in a clean pin.

WM9 ad.  "Splendiferous!"

Barry Hardy v. Bob Backlund (Monsoon, Heenan)  Oh wait, that should be the other
way round.  Shake hands, yawn.  At least Backlund didn't make an entrance this
time--Whoa!  The Clown...ha ha...has..ha...banana peels...ha ha ha ha...I can't
stand it...BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!  Hey, *Hardy* is the first to offer the
handshake after the match!  Backlund is working his magic...oh, he slipped on a
banana peel!  BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!

Boring charity spiel.

Promos:  ICOPRO (Hart), GI Joe, Electronic Hot Shot Basketball

Feature Matchup:  Randy Savage v. Terry Taylor (Monsoon, Hayes)  Taylor's
ultra-cool jacket lasted all of one week, and in its place is a boring, glitzy,
sequined thing.  Moves and counters and fists, oh my!  Savage clotheslines
Taylor out of the ring and then follows with a chop.  He then climbs back in
the ring, scales the cornerpost, and gets walloped on the way down.  Taylor 
works on Savage out of the ring, and then in the ring, too.  When referee 
"Blind" Dave Hebner takes umbrage with Taylor's chokeholds, he gets a sincere 
"I'm sorry" from the Terrific One.  I can't tell if the crowd is chanting
"Terry" or "Randy."  While Taylor chats with the ref, Savage pulls the trunks
for the 2 count.  Taylor regains momentum with a shot to the throat.  Taylor 
tries a sleeper, but gets backed into the corner.  Taylor with a Boss Man 
slam, but only 2.  Taylor misses a dropkick which MUST hurt a lot more than
hitting it.  Savage tries a small package, 2.  Backslide and alternating 2 
counts.  By now, I figure Taylor has once again forgotten that he can do the
powerbomb and will subsequently draw, continuing his pattern.  Taylor climbs
the corner and sure enough lands on Savage's knees.  Huge resurgence for the 
Macho Man.  Double axe handle off the top, 2.  Of course, Savage has to drop 
that elbow.  Taylor may be able to kick out at 2, boy, but he sure can't 
roll over in order to escape from a guy climbing the ropes, and he certainly
can't move away from Savage's flying elbow after a half hour.  1,2,3.  Sigh.
Taylor's first loss on PrimeTime; this was a good match until the end.  
Savage grabs the mike and says "Ooh yeah!"  GEEZ.

The Undertaker v. Dwayne Gill (Monsoon, Hayes)  The UT-Nailz matchup is again
discussed.  The new WWF Rag has a photo of the staredown and the caption "Their
Gravest Challenge?"  I did not make this up.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Bret Hart, and also Heenan, Flair, Ramon, a lot
of WWF officials, and Perfect.  Hart shows he's a smart guy by attacking Ramon
with his back to Flair and Heenan.  After Hart thanks Perfect for the save, he
holds the belt high to the cheering fans and Perfect just has this pissed look
on his face.  Perhaps it was that moment when his mind unclouded and he
remembered SummerSlam '91.

Papa Shango v. Repo Man (Monsoon, Hayes)  A heel/heel matchup?  I thought all
heels liked each other.  The last heel/heel matchup I can remember on PrimeTime
was Herc/Sid.  I wonder which face got sick at the last minute.  Monsoon links
Shango to Damien DeMento.  Shango with kicks, whip into turnbuckle, arm bar,
whip into turnbuckle, but misses a move.  Repo with clothesline, punches,
legdrop, arm bar.  Shango with powerslam, chinlock, knee in the back, munch on
the skull.  By now I'm falling asleep.  Shango puts his head down and takes a
shot from Repo.  Double clothesline.  Shango is up first and goes for the 
voodoo stick.  If you read these reports, you know what happens THEN.  Yep, 
sparks, but since he's battling a heel, the ref doesn't ring the bell until
Repo goes for his hook.  Then he DQ's them both.  Monsoon shows a little
righteous indignation, but not much.  What a con.  See also:  Shango/Crush, 
Shango/Tatanka.

WM9 ad.  "Ummm...I ran out of adjectives!"

Skinner v. Lance Cassidy (Monsoon, Hayes)  Monsoon once again lets us in on the
little secret that Cassidy can sing and strum.  Hayes pronounced the word
"machizzmo."  Somehow, the Samuvar trophy is mentioned, and it kills the
announcers that they can't mention the Bulldog in the same breath.  Cassidy
wins, but who cares, it was so boring.

Bam Bam Bigelow v. The Pope (McMahon, Lawler, Heenan)  I remember when the
Harlem Globetrotters has that trick with the water, and the bucket of
confetti...hey wait!  That Clown has been studying the classics!  HA HA HA 
HA HA HA...

Slick gives it to ya.

Promos:  Electronic Talking Battleship ("Yeah!"), WWF Figures, Bart Simpson
Nintendo cartridges

Let us take you back to the mirror fracas, and then back to the "satellite
hookups."  Michaels says Sherri sacrificed herself for him, and that he really
hasn't had a chance to check on her yet.  Jannetty says he did check, and 
Sherri isn't all that happy.  Gee, I'm getting the impression that Jannetty 
cares more about Sherri than Michaels does.  More set up for the Michaels/
Jannetty matches.  Bye.

Next week:  The Christmas Special!  Hopefully, this means Luke and Butch with
Santa hats.

Jamison: 0.
Slam Jam: 0.

Y'know, people ask me all the time, "What do you see in the wrestling crap?"
And I look at them, smile, and say "Everything is beautiful...in its own 
way..."

Christopher Zimmerman         =I have my Royal Rumble ticket=