Newsgroups: bit.listserv.christia
Date:         Wed, 19 Aug 1992 05:28:40 EDT
From:         JEK@NIHCU.BITNET
Subject:      Southern US

Mark Drake writes about a couple who moved to Atlanta and kept being
asked, "So, where do you go to church?" When they told their plumber
that they didn't go to church, he didn't come back to finish the
job.

Don't jump to conclusions about the plumber. I have heard of many
plumbers who did not come back to finish a job, where the
church-going habits of their customers were not an issue. It
happens, and whether because the plumber has gotten a call to a more
urgent (and possibly better-paying) job, or because he just plain
forgot, I have no idea.

If everybody you know goes to one church or another, you may be
taken aback to meet someone who doesn't go. You are not sure what to
expect of him. Suppose that, when you are asked, "What's wrong with
stealing?" the first answer that comes to your mind is, "The Bible
says you mustn't." When you meet, for the first time, someone who
doesn't believe in the Bible, it is natural for you to wonder how he
views stealing, and to keep your hand on your wallet, just to be on
the safe side.

Uneasiness at meeting someone who does not do what you have always
taken for granted that everybody does is not confined to churchgoers
or to Southerners. I once heard a speech by a college professor, an
atheist, in which he happened to mention, simply in passing, that he
was a teetotaler. Afterwards, one student said to me. "That did it
for me.  How can you trust a man who doesn't drink?" In his circles,
drinking is taken for granted as a part of most social gatherings,
and someone who doesn't drink is a freak. I have myself gotten
strange reactions from persons who learned that I do not own a car.
And I still remember talking on a street-corner in Berkeley to a
student leader who was a Marxist. As the conversation progressed, he
asked me, "What does your father do?" I replied (truthfully), "He is
a cab-driver." The guy was utterly shaken. He started stammering. It
was obvious that he had no idea how to talk with a cab-driver's son.

A friend of mine told me of visiting the South and being introduced
to a man whose first question to him was, "How do you stand with
Jesus, boy?" (Just so no one will jump to conclusions -- the friend
is white, blond, and blue-eyed.) He thought this very strange. I
told him, "It is not exactly a question of religion. The concept of
minding one's own business has no meaning in the South. If you are
walking down the street with a package and you meet a casual
acquaintance and stop to talk, you are likely to be asked, 'What
have you got in the package, honey?' A Northerner would consider
this prying. A Southerner considers it being friendly. I cannot
recall ever trying to start a conversation with a Southerner and
being snubbed. I used to have a job that kept me in Houston all
summer and in Minneapolis all winter. Once I flew to Minneapolis in
mid-summer for a wedding, got into the shuttle at the Minneapolis
airport, and started chattering non-stop about nothing in
particular. I got incredulous stares from my fellow passengers and
promptly shut up. I realized that I had inadvertently used Southern
manners in a Northern context.

After one gets used to them, one sees that each style of interacting
has its own kind of charm.

 Yours,
 James Kiefer
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