From: E.L.Javison@massey.ac.nz (E.L. Javison)
Subject: Homosexuality and Transsexuality (sp?)
Organization: Massey University, Palmerston North, New Zealand
X-Reader: NETNEWS/PC Version 2c
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 92 20:33:10 GMT

Saw this from sci.psychology.....

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Subject: Homosexuality and Transsexuality
From: thomas@duteca.et.tudelft.nl (Thomas Okken)
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 12:39:46 GMT
Reply-To: thomas@duteca.et.tudelft.nl (Thomas Okken)
Followup-To: alt.sex
Organization: Delft University of Technology, Dept. of Electrical Engineering
Originator: thomas@duteca.et.tudelft.nl

Homosexuality and Transsexuality

by Thomas Okken

1. Terminology

It is a widely accepted belief today, that the human race is not just divided
into men and women, but that within each sex other distinctions can be made:
both men and women can be heterosexual and homosexual. Being "heterosexual"
means: preferring to have intimate relations with members of the opposite
sex; being "homosexual" means: preferring to have intimate relations with
members of one's own sex. (There's also "bisexuality", the best of both
worlds: bisexuals are people who don't care about their partner's sex.)
To complicate matters, we also have transsexuals. These are people who feel
they have the body belonging to one sex, but in their mind, they feel like
belonging to the opposite sex. Transsexuals can also be hetero- or
homosexual. I do not know if there are cases of bisexual transsexuals.

2. The problem

Homosexuals and transsexuals have a problem. Homosexuals are not very well
accepted in our culture, so they have to retreat into a subculture of their
own in order to be themselves without being harassed. If they show their
homosexuality - usually by affecting mannerisms commonly associated with the
opposite sex, or simply by being open about their lovers - they face
discrimination at work and social isolation.
Transsexuals have the wrong body, and they need surgery to make them into
what they feel they should be. This surgery is not perfect, and
male-to-female transsexuals in particular will usually not pass as
inconspicuous women after their transformation is complete. Because of this,
they will experience the same problems as homosexuals, only much worse.
Psychologists and psychiatrists have tried to understand and cure homosexuals
and transsexuals, but no progress has been made whatsoever. Psychologists do
not understand what causes these deviations from normality, and psychiatrists
have been totally unable to cure them. It has been noted that neither
homosexuals nor transsexuals tend to display symptoms commonly associated
with delusions or manias.

3. The norm, and nature

Homosexuals and transsexuals deviate from the norm, this is obvious. But what
is the norm precisely?
We are all aware of differences between the behaviour of men and women. Men
behave "tougher" and hide their feelings more, they make careers, they take
the leading role in establishing intimate relations. Women behave more
sensitively, they are more open about their feelings, they are content to run
the household and raise the children, they take a passive role when it comes
to intimacy. And both men and women want a partner of the opposite sex for
their intimacy.
Homosexuals and transsexuals find themselves unable to function in these
roles. Homosexuals find themselves unwilling or unable to find a partner of
the opposite sex. Transsexuals find the role associated with their physical
sex unbearable to play.
Awareness of being different is particularly often triggered when a person
finds some abnormality in his/her sex life: the opposite sex causes no
feelings of lust, whereas certain members of their own sex do; a person finds
him/herself falling in love with a member of their own sex; a person finds
sex unrewarding when performed with either sex.
Since one would expect a normal human to be able to have enjoyable relations,
intimacy and sex with members of the opposite sex - after all, this is how
the species is maintained - people who find that this is not so for them are
obviously not "normal". These people often discover that they have homosexual
or transsexual tendencies, and find that they can accept themselves much
better when they have "come out" as homosexuals, or underwent a sex- and
role-change.

But let's look again at what "natural" behaviour would be. Since heterosexual
sex is needed for procreation, we would expect humans to have instincts that
made them seek out the opposite sex when they felt the need for intimacy. But
how do these instincts work? Is there something in man's psychological makeup
that makes them heterosexual, or is it something else entirely? I (the
author) believe that smell is the key: men have a preference for the smell of
women, and possibly the other way around as well. So, in a natural setting,
where humans would live in small groups, men and women would seek each other
out by smell, and when in moments of intimacy, the sex urge overcomes them,
they would automatically have intercourse with a member of the opposite sex.
If heterosexual behaviour in humans is smell-directed, it is no wonder that
deviations from this pattern are so common today. First of all, we wash and
use perfume and after-shave, so our natural pheromones are blotted out. Then,
many people look for something called "love" in a person before becoming
intimate with them. This "love" is really a strong appreciation and liking of
the other's personality, and personality is not sex-related.

4. Love

Since our natural sex-selection mechanism is sabotaged by the way we live, we
have to make a conscious decision to seek out a partner of the opposite sex.
But this is difficult. Since our culture enforces different role-patterns and
life-styles for men and women, people of one sex tend te seek each other out
for casual companionship. Men make friends among men, women make friends
among women. In order to get a mate, a man must woo a woman, who lives in a
world totally different from his own. This makes him (and her, probably)
uneasy, and the relations that are thus established are often very
stereotypical: both partners behaving very much according to the role models
for their respective sexes. Spontaneity is often lacking.
On the other hand, within your own sex, people deal with people who have a
lot more in common with them, and relations will often be a lot more open and
spontaneous, and love can arise without being sought. In a situation like
this, people will ask themselves if they are homosexual, and even if they
don't ask this question of themselves, the people around them certainly
will.

5. The myth of the gender-specific sex urge

Sex is an activity that is easiest when both partners are relaxed about it.
Because of the culture-induced tension between the sexes, heterosexual sex
will often be attempted in a less relaxed atmosphere, and men may then find
themselves impotent, and women may find themselves frigid. Such unsatisfying
experiences may lead them to experiment with their own sex instead, and since
these experiments are usually conducted with a lot less depending on the
outcome, they may well take place in a better atmosphere, and they may well
be more pleasant and satisfying. This can lead people to conclude that sex is
only possible for them if they do it with members of their own sex.
But this is not true. As long as sex is attempted by partners who are
comfortable and relaxed with each other, their physical sex is of no
importance. All humans are capable of both hetero- and homosexual behaviour.
If we followed our instincts (our noses having become useless anyway),
everyone would be bisexual.

6. The cause of all misery: role models

What homosexuals do, each for their own reason, is reject the heterosexual
role model. This is fine, since role models should only guide people, not
constrain them, and certainly not make them unhappy. But to reject one role
model and immediately replace it with another strikes me as silly. True, our
culture expects it: our culture says you are either heterosexual or
homosexual, and that's it. There are even psychologists who say that
bisexuals are really homosexuals who haven't made up their minds yet. These
psychologists may find themselves vindicated because bisexuals can easily get
pushed into the homosexual role, since the heterosexual part of our society
rejects them.
People who come to think of themselves as homosexual often feel the need to
"come out", to let the world know what they are (that is, what role they
choose for themselves). They usually percieve this as a joyous occasion, but
still, it often takes them a long time to really accept it and come to terms
with it. To me, this proves that the homosexual role model is not ideal
either, and the best thing would be to simply do away with role models
entirely.
The same applies to transsexuals. All those people who think they inhabit the
wrong body should examine what makes them aware of this conflict. Are they in
love with someone of their own physical sex? That's OK, the only disadvantage
of a "homosexual" affair is that it will always be childless, but otherwise,
it has the same potential as a "straight" one. You are a man and you envy
women their long hair or their pretty dresses and skirts? Natural enough,
given how uniform and boring men's clothing is in our western culture. You
are a man and you would prefer to stay at home and raise the kids, or you are
a woman and want to go out there and build a career? Fine, go ahead, be open
about it and try to find a partner with matching preferences.

7. Conclusion

As long as we all keep in mind that men and women are equal (at least
psychologically), and that, apart from physical differences, all the
perceived dissimilarity is caused by conformity to cultural role-models, and
we accept that our own feelings are more important than those role-models, we
will do fine. If we raise our children equally, boys and girls, and explain
to them that they should break through the role-models whenever they feel the
need, I think homosexuality and transsexuality will disappear, because the
need will be gone. We will all be bisexual, and no one will worry about
having "the wrong body" - except for men, who will always envy women for
being able to create life.
I would like to note that I am not surprised that psychologists find no
symptoms of delusions or manias in homosexuals and transsexuals. After all,
it is not these people that are crazy, it is the culture we live in.

8. About the author

Thomas Okken was born in 1964. Hed had his first sexual experience, with a
boy, at the age of 10. His second came with another boy at the age of 15. The
first one was no good, the second was. Still, neither experience made much of
an impression on him, probably because no love was involved in either case,
so until the age of 23 he remained convinced he was heterosexual. Then came
two disappointments in love with girls, and two failed sexual experiments
with different girls (under awkward circumstances and without love). Then,
after 26 years of believing he was heterosexual, he fell in love with a man
for the first time. Another homosexual experience followed - with another
man, a friend, but again under weird and awkward circumstances - which was
really just painful.
In the months of soul-searching that ensued, and with the aid of
psychologists, he discovered he was a transsexual. He had never liked the
male role, and always been very envious of women. He also craved a sexually
passive role, probably because of his great shyness and uncertainty.
But being handicapped by a deep voice, which would make a good sex-change
impossible, he decided he could fit in the transvestite mould as well, with
much greater chances of happiness. Since he doesn't just envy girls their
clothes, but the thought of wearing them also turns him on, the prospect was
really quite pleasant.
But having survived all his life without wearing women's clothes even once,
despite often wanting to, he decided that dress wasn't the most important
thing, and that he would make quite a good plain homosexual as well. This
impression was very much reinforced by reading novels by homosexuals, in
which he recognized himself to an astonishing degree, particularly novels by
David Leavitt and James Baldwin. The gay scene seemed just right for his
sexual needs, since S&M fantasies have turned him on all his life, and gay
pornography had an effect on him that "straight" pornography never had.
But it was the same James Baldwin, or rather his novel "Another Country",
that completed Thomas's search for his identity. In this novel it is shown
very beautifully how people get pushed into the "homosexual" role by their
envirnment, without even once wanting it for themselves. And that love is the
key, not sex, because sex will always be possible where there is love, but
good sex does not make love. And since Thomas had felt the love for both men
and women, he decided that a person's sex is really unimportant, except if
you want to make babies, and so he decided that he must be bisexual, or
rather, bi-love-ual. And that he will stop worrying about sex, and just let
it happen when it will. All that remains of his transsexual feelings is a
great feeling of annoyance at our culture for not giving men some more
interesting clothes to choose from.

 - Thomas (thomas@duteca.et.tudelft.nl)

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-- 
Edgar L. Javison			\
C Hostel, Student Mail			 \	"It takes a lot of
Massey University			/ \	courage to stand alone."
Palmerston North		       /   \		
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