From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Another Math Joke
Date: 29 Sep 92 20:05:13 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Sep14.215017.2284@brandonu.ca> $ennsnr@brandonu.ca writes:
>Another Math Joke:
>
>A college-football chach was faced with the possibility that his star player
                    ^^^^^
>professor not to flunk the kid. "Tell you what, coach," said the prof, "I'll
                                                 ^^^^^
>Frantically the coache cried, "Give him another chance! Give him another
                 ^^^^^^
 
Math major, eh?

>P.S. I am looking for smilies to compile into a collection.

It's been done.

I suppose that the previous joke could also be considered a football joke.
Since we don't get a lot of football jokes around here I'll add mine.

Kowalski was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys and became the third string
quarterback.  Every week he would go to the stadium and just sit on the
bench.  About midway through the season he began to get pretty tired of
warming the bench.  One saturday afternoon he mentioned to his wife that
he wasn't going to go to the stadium because all he ever did was sit on 
the bench.  He wife said, "No No. You must go to the stadium and support the
team.  It is your part of your job."  The next morning he Kowalski woke up
and told his wife that he wasn't going to the stadium, got up, grabbed his
fishing pole and went fishing instead.  His wife got up and, as game time
approached she began to really worry about her husband missing the game. Then
she got an idea.  Since she was a large women herself she could put on her
husbands uniform and helmet, and since he never played anyway, would sit
on the bench and no one would know the difference.

So she put on all the pads, the uniform and helmet and went down to the
stadium.  She ran out on to the field with the rest of the team and then
when the game began found a spot on the bench and sat.  Early in the first
quarter, the starting quarterback was injured and taken out of the game.  The
second string quarterback was put in but didn't have much experience so the
Cowboys started to get behind.  By halftime the score was 24-0.  By the end
of the third quarter it was 38-0.  All of a sudden the coach yelled down to
her.  Kowalski, get out there, let's see what you can do.  So she ran out onto
the field.  On the first play she handed off to the fullback and he gained
a couple of yards.  On the next play she handed off again, but this time he
was tackled right away.  Now it's third down and 12 yards to go.  The coached
signaled in a pass.  So she got behind the center, took a few steps back, and
got creamed by the safety blitzing up the middle.  Knocked her unconscious.

The trainers ran out onto the field and tried to revive her.  They shook her 
arms, they shook her legs, but to no avail.  They brought out the stretcher
and carried her off the field and into the locker room.  They put her on
a table and shook her legs, shook her legs, and she still didn't come to.
The doctor said, "Get that uniform off. I need to check for injuries."  So
they cut off the jersey, cut off the pants and removed all the pads.  The
doctor put one had on each of her boobs and started pushing vigorously up
and down.  At this point she woke up and said, "Hey, what in the hell are 
you doing?"  The doctor replied, "Don't worry Kowalski, as soon as I get your
balls back in place your pecker will pop out."
-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira     | Auspex Systems | "Auspex does not share my opinions.  |
| johnf@auspex.com | Santa Clara CA |  So Why am I still working here?"    |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: rec.humor