HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: drice@ponder.csci.unt.edu (Keith Rice)
Subject: Re: THE COMPLETE CALIFORNIAN TO BRITISH DICTIONARY
Organization: University of North Texas
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 03:15:01 GMT

In <1992Sep11.195942.8815@vax.oxford.ac.uk> thchemb4@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:

>The complete Californian to English(British) dictionary

>dude  --> meaningless word thought up by movie executives
>bodeacious --> meaningless word thought up by movies executives

The above translations apply to the subject of this thread.  However,
I must correct the dictionary's author about the following words:

>schwing --> meaningless word thought up by movie executives
>NOT!!!!! --> meaningless word thought up by movie executives
>babes --> meaningless word thought up by movie executives
>megababes --> meaningless word thought up by movie executives
>hurl --> meaningless word thought up by movie executives
>EXTREME CLOSE UP!! --> meaningless phrase thought up by movie executives
>ex-sull-eeeent --> meaningless word thought up by movie executives
>party on --> meaningless phrase thought up by movie executives

These words belong in the "Aurora, Illinois native to British Dictionary"
as they came into common parlance via "Wayne's World".  Also, they were
words thought up by Mike Myers, a movie executive....NOT!!!!

--
D. Keith Rice -- University of North Texas -- drice@ponder.csci.unt.edu
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(new .sig construction delayed due to union contract disputes)
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: challenge for Carasso
Date: 7 Sep 92 11:13:22 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


In article <1992Sep4.213613.10685@nmsu.edu> sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA)
writes:

#  Ken, please get off your fucking wooden cross 

If we are not careful
we may have a new catchphrase
on our hands.

-- Ken "add colour to your writing with catchphrases from talk.bizarre"
   Johnson

-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte)
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Organization: the church of the latter-day polish amazons
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 04:45:57 GMT

In article <pjlkr7o@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>---
>
>So I should run out and buy them, right?

right.

>Materialism versus social responsibility.
>      Music versus politics.

fuck social responsibility.  if you had lived 
a hundred years ago and wanted a luxury item 
like that you would have had to beg your husband 
for it.  you made the money yourself.  spend it.
enjoy it.  

either that or send it to me so i can buy a suit
for job interviews so that i can make enough money
to buy myself luxury items, in which i promise to
revel, experiencing never even a microscopic twinge
of guilt.

m

and i don't give my money to homeless people either.
-- 
"...at night they lurk outside the tall barrier staring with curious
 wild eyes into the flat field, feeling cheated." -- Beryl Markham
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: I wish...
Organization: University of Central Florida
Distribution: talk
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 15:08:56 GMT

I wish there was an afterlife, so that people who
believe in one could have a chance to feel dis-
appointed when they realize there isn't one.

mark
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:30137 alt.non.sequitur:69 alt.cascade:1889
From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.non.sequitur,alt.cascade
Subject: Re: This Group Is Perfect For Deep Thoughts
Date: 15 Sep 92 02:14:40 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <1992Sep14.180953.9446@javelin.sim.es.com> biesel@javelin.sim.es.com (Heiner Biesel) writes:
>mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh) writes:
>
>>What is it with these guys from Colorado anyway?
>
>Well, they're from Colorado!
>
>Regards,
>       H. Biesel
>       who visited there once, or twice.

So what's fucking wrong with it?  If you'd said wyoming, I could understand...
From: lefty@apple.com (Lefty)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Dammit
Date: 15 Sep 92 23:25:42 GMT
Organization: Our Lady of Heavy Artillery

In article <MJD.92Sep14122416@saul.cis.upenn.edu>, mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu
("[*] Spirit of the Air") wrote:
> 
> Why am I being followed around by the smell of barbecue?

"Hey, better lower the heat.  I think he's starting to notice."

--
Lefty (lefty@apple.com)
C:.M:.C:., D:.O:.D:.
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The Temptation of Saint Anthony
Date: 14 Sep 92 22:04:33 GMT
Followup-To: alt.pez
Organization: University of Pennsylvania
In-reply-to: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu's message of 14 Sep 92 21:48:28 GMT

In article <1992Sep14.214828.2815@uwm.edu> grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Koschei the Deathless) writes:
>   *I'd really like to have a Pez dispenser with my own head on it.
>   But then when you'd try to eat any, they'd fall out the hole in your neck.

Hmm, that reminds me of the story of the two Venetians who are bored,
and so one of them bets the other one that he can swallow ten disposable
razor blades.  After the fourth one the other Venetian jumps up and down
and points his finger at the first.  ``That's no fair!'' he screams.
``You have to swallow them ALL THE WAY DOWN.''

--

                And for to se, and eek for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.evil,alt.satanism
From: waldbyjf@nextwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Richard Marx)
Subject: Pawn takes Rook
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 16 Sep 1992 03:44:07 GMT


God looked up from the board. "Good move, Luce"

For Satan had installed Danzig III.

(Wait for number VII) said the serpent

it's coming soon to a lost world near you.
--
I'm gonna stand on top of the world
and challenge the heavens
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.flame.marshal.perlman.weenie,alt.fan.letterm
From: mperlman@nyx.cs.du.edu (Marshal "Airborne" Perlman)
Subject: Re: THE CREATION OF alt.flame.marshal.perlman.weenie
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 92 15:29:29 GMT

thester@nyx.cs.du.edu (Uncle Fester) writes:

>In article <16859E63D.N020BA@tamvm1.tamu.edu> N020BA@tamvm1.tamu.edu writ
>s:
>>    Could someone tell me what's going on? Why create a special area to
>>flame marshal perlman? What has he or she done?


>I don't know the answer to that, but I can make a guess:

>It's because he changed his .sig, and pissed someone off that wanted to be
>contrary to the admonition that "Marshal Perlman may not be
>reproduced...", etc by reproducing him anyway.  
>Who knows?  Maybe Marshal is famous, and this group is for those that
>resent him.  Maybe it's for us to learn more about Marshal.
>"Get to know me."....that's the ticket!  :-)

>Uncle Fester

HI..well..no I am not famous..I am your typical 18 year old pilot
from Huntington Beach, California [Surf City USA if you don't know)
who is leaving here to attend school at the Florida Institute of Technology.

I am leaving here on the 11th and my buddie and I are driving out there. We
are going to see all the places we haven't seen yet. 

Carlsbad Caverens
The Alamo
Johnson Space Center
Houston
New Orleans
and maybe all that garbage in Orlando (Epcot..not D-WORLD..I live
5 miles from D-LAND).

Anything else you want to know?

Unlike some people who are inbred asshole/bitches (rachel), I am not going
to cry and piss and moan about a funny newsgroup..actually.I like it.

It's like a talk show..everyone has one (well..not rachel). But I am 
sure some one will make one soon..
--
Marshal Perlman - Huntington Beach - California - USA - Earth - Milky Way 
                 Private Pilot - Airplane Single-Engine Land
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: John Austin <jea1@Cornell.edu>
Subject: Re: wouldn't it...
X-Xxdate: Thu, 10 Sep 92 14: 02:43 GMT
Nntp-Posting-User: jea1@cornell.edu
Organization: BTI
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d9
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 12:55:50 GMT

In article <1992Sep10.092201.3263@sst.icl.co.uk> Pete Bevin,
pete@sst.icl.co.uk writes:
>Wouldn't it be good if pubic hair worked like velcro?  Women could have
>the soft, fluffy bit, and men could have the wiry stuff.  It would make
>being heterosexual so much more fun...

I have been referring to male (with the hooks) and female (with the loops)
velcro for quite a while now.  And everyone seems to know what I mean.  In
fact, I don't even know why I included the two parenthetical inserts in that
first sentence.  Anyway, glad to see we agree.  Can't help you much with the
short hairs redesign- let's talk to the biotech folks.


1234567891123456789212345678931234567894123456789512345678961234567897123456789
John Austin (jea1@cornell.edu)
Grafix 'R Us                                                  *Silverio in '92*
Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research    
123456789112345678921234.sig *still* under construction...961234567897123456789
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: the trouble with australia
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 17:44:59 GMT

In article <1992Sep2.184715.22450@odin.corp.sgi.com> mrx@sgi.com (you: coma: marilyn monroe) writes:
|>With a sudden horror, I suddenly realize that Australian colleges' summer
|>vacation does not line up with that of the northern hemisphere, meaning there
|>is no more respite from horny freshmen with nothing better to do.

|>mr x absolutely must correct this immediately.


|note:  it may be easier to simply remove
|       the continent.  we'll do some mock-ups,
|       generate some proposals, and get back
|       to you.

Just report an opal find under the target college. It'll be undermined,
and collapse within a week.

-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
    The most dangerous person in the world is Jessica Fletcher.
        Everywhere she goes, people die.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: orf@skool.ssec.wisc.edu (Leigh Orf)
Subject: Re: This Group Is Perfect For Deep Thoughts
Reply-To: orf@scrap.ssec.wisc.edu (Leigh Orf)
Organization: Atmospheric & Oceanic & Space Sciences Dept., UW Maidson, WI
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 17:14:11 GMT

In article <1992Sep11.100616@usno05.nor.chevron.com>,
mjra@usno05.nor.chevron.com (Mike Raymond) writes:
>In article <fulton.716220196@silver>, fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben
>Fulton) writes:
>|>>>>>Beautiful.  Just beautiful.
>|>>>>But what has that got to do with type inference in a country cottage
>?
>|>>>Please don't post articles about lipstick to this group.
>|>>I disagree completely, except for those parts dealing with cougars.
>|>The cost of cat food is rising rapidly these days.
>Some assembly is required, void were prohibited by law.
Oh, sure, introspecive duodena. Slolom.
From: rcbi27@marshall.wvnet.edu (DBRUM)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Truth is stranger than Fiction
Date: 15 Sep 92 00:15:49 GMT
Organization: Marshall University


	This is from Saturday's Charleston Gazette. (Charleston is
	the capital of the state of West Virginia.)


	MAN TRYING TO STOP FIGHT SHOOTS SISTER, BOYFRIEND

A city man, who was trying to stop a fight between his sister and her 
boyfriend, shot them both with a shotgun Friday afternoon, police said.

[The two lovers] were arguing when the woman's brother allegedly fired
at them with a shotgun around 4:45 p.m., Charleston Police said.

The brother fled into the woods after the shooting, but called police from
a house a short distance away soon after to surrender, police said.

The brother, 21, who lives with the sister, was charged with two counts of
malicious wounding in Kanawha County Magistrate Court. He was held in the
Kanawha County Jail under $5,000 bond, a magistrate court spokesman said.

Both victims were in stable condition at General Division, CAMC (a hospital).

The brother allegedly fired a single shot that hit both victims, Police said.

"We're not sure who it was meant for yet," police said. "They were standing
together."

Police also were not sure if the shotgun was loaded with slugs or pellets.

The shooting occurred in a spacious log cabin at the end of a half-mile-long
gravel road near the intersection of Oakridge and Woodbridge drives in the
city's Woodbridge section.

Neighbors said the house, which sits on a secluded hilltop, is owned by [the
mother of the brother and sister], who lives there with some of her grown
children.

Charleston detectives are investigating.


	THE END

--Apparently true, definately strange...but what will it do to tourism?!
danny
-- 
	"Were his solid black square paintings really,
	as the artist claimed, simply neutral, abstract
	compositions devoid of external references and
	meanings?" ***********************************
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
Subject: A first
Keywords: WWWAAAAHHHH!!!!
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 16:50:55 GMT

Distribution: world


Lunch time. Start Newsgrazer. Go to talk.bizarre. WHAT?????

Only 8 unread articles!

--
************************************************************************
 the Lost Cause                       jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
(hardwaire guy extraordinaire)       MACTech,NeXTtech; NeXTmail accepted
                      "Everything is relative."
************************************************************************
From: drseuss@gorn.echo.com (David Bedno)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: short drug-free confession
Date: 28 Aug 92 06:14:39 GMT
Organization: Gods of the Greataway

gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte) said: 
-
-my younger brother and i are still the only people
-i know of who have not tried any illegal substances.

Illegal by virtue of not being allowed to use them at all, or the
more restrictive not being allowed to use due to age?

The only time I've taken any illegal drug was speed.  But then, I
was drunk at the time...

						not shameful at all

-- 
   David Bedno		   	            		drseuss@gorn.echo.com
     "but if i had my life to live over again, i would give dignity the
      regal razz and hire myself out to work in a brewery."  - a pharoh
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: QSound{tm} Question
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 22:30:47 GMT

In article <9209102144.AA06244@ucbvax.Berkeley.EDU> 5405P@CC.NPS.NAVY.MIL ("rpwhite") writes:
>
>One of the problems associated with not having a permanent place of
>abode is that my audio system is in boxes in some warehouse somewhere.
>When I buy a tape I have to listen to it in my car. I cannot buy CD's
>because I do not have a CD player in my automobile. My question is this:
>the dog barking at the beginning of the record sounds like he's in the
>trunk, are my speakers out of phase?

No, it just means that
A). Your car is a nightmare of multiple path effects.  The only way to get
    realistic imaging in a car is to replace the windows with something more
    absorbent and move the positions of the speakers to inconvenient places,
    as well as some other things that would make the car difficult to drive.
    Therefore don't worry if your car stereo sounds like garbage.

B). Q-sound is unbelievably crude anyway, and is generally used in such a
    heavy-handed fashion that it does more damage than good.

--scott
From: pilgrim@daimi.aau.dk (Jakob G}rdsted)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: FAQ - what does Carasso/rdc do when NOT posting(has he time to eat, etc
Date: 15 Sep 92 18:21:35 GMT
Organization: DAIMI: Computer Science Department, Aarhus University, Denmark

As the subject says, I have grown infuriatinglyocious(?) curious as to how
it is physically possible for Carasso to post so much, and, quevemberly,
'quality' stuff? Does he have some sort of alternate income, or how can
he continue to post in such quantity, and maintain a position in which
he has the opportunity to post? Does he attend university, or is he
just a very rich <something> with net access? Where I come from,
we have to attend classes and pass courses, in order to continue
having an account; it would not be possible to post in such 
Paul-Dolanian quantities?

Enquiring minds want to know! Please, somebody, whose adress does
not contain rdc@netcom.com, who is not called Mark-Abdul-Gooley(Oh, I
forget, his actual postings are never seen), and not Employees from
Herbalife Incorporated either!/!? 
--
      Jakob Gaardsted   .    .  | Black Rainbow(TM)     .         .      .
  Computer Science Department . |. Invaporated      .        .        .    .
University of Aarhus, Jylland(!)|   .            .      . Cordless Life  .  .
 .  pilgrim@daimi.aau.dk   .    |          .    .    .     Pointless Mouse .
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: chaos@netcom.com (chaos)
Subject: short shameful confession (was: this week)
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 92 02:47:03 GMT
Organization: tyrninog and the heisenberg vortex


i want gypsy's car.


chaos

if only the trip out didn't cost as much as the bug 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.sex.bondage,alt.politics.correct
From: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net)
Subject: Re: RICHH:  SHORT NON-PC P.J. O'ROURKE QUOTE
Organization: Computing Something Division
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 15:49:47 GMT

In article <txmnqbb.richh@netcom.com> richh@netcom.com (richh) writes:
>P.J. O'Rourke(whom I just missed at a reading and book-signing at Border's 
>a few months ago)
[and who is one of four people who interviewed clinton in the new rolling
stone. HST, PJO, Jann Wenner and some other dood. Almost as good as sex.]
explains why he is not a liberal:
[he looks like a fucking republican]:

>(I paraphrase)
>"Say what you want about the Nazis, no woman has ever had a fantasy about
>being tied up and beaten by a man dressed as a liberal."

OH, i don't know.  My best friend has a hijacker fetish.

Fly me to cuba, indeed.

>--achtung, baby

Bono don't look like no republican i've ever met, either.

-- 
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.   \  (414)CRUSH-13
T. Flynn's Casa de Interesting: 1755 N Cambridge Ave #306 Milwaukee WI 53202
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (wink martindale)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: focus dammmit focus
Date: 14 Sep 92 20:07:23 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (wink martindale)
Organization: Elkhorn Yacht Club, Moss Landing CA

DEVILBISS@OCTAVE.LARC.NASA.GOV (Zaphod Beeblebrox) writes:

It looks like Scott Dorsey just earned 100 quatloos.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 92 08:08:52 GMT
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d

jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
: In <M_HUNT.92Sep09032551@orange.syud.edu> Michael Hunt (m_hunt@orange.syud.edu) writes:
: > Aaron Humphrey <aaron@space.ualberta.ca> writes:
: >> It's been months since I read a drieux post all the way through.
: >Same here.  What is drieux' real name anyway?
: 
: Talk Bizarre Dammit III.
: 
: Also known as King Ramses II to his friends.
: 
  Isn't he dead, my love?

--
Home: cliftonr@netcom.com     +1 808 521 9073
Work: clifton_r@verifone.com  +1 808 625 3234
Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Whatever flames upon the night/Man's own resinous heart has fed." - W. B. Yeats
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: chaos@netcom.com (chaos)
Subject: yet another dream
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 92 00:41:33 GMT
Organization: tyrninog and the heisenberg vortex
Keywords: youth math time 


sunday morning:

dreamt i was wandering around near my primary school.  it was empty,
no children about; i cut through the playground, the sky overcast.
i looked into the halls through the outer doors in trepidation,
afraid someone would be looking back at me.  perhaps someone did
because i took off running--across the sandpit and to the corner, 
stepped off into the intersection, and...

suddenly the weather is heavy with fog and lightly misting rain, and
the intersection goes on forever; i'm running top speed and my boots
just keep hitting wet pavement...  just as i think i'm finally reaching
the opposite curb, i see headlights coming at me through the rain.
i am heading straight for the middle of a lane.

i dodge to the right and trip as i reach the curb.  sprawled on my
back, head aching, i am approached by two children, a girl about
six and her older (by one or two years) brother.  (it is still foggy.)
the girl speaks to me, and i ask her to check my pulse to be sure 
i'm alive/okay...  she places her fingers against the fat part of 
my hand where it meets the wrist, but despite her incorrect method, 
i can feel the blood in some vessel tap against her fingertips.  
she acknowledges that she can feel a pulse.  i ask her to time it.  
her brother gets out his pocket watch, and when she sees the 
second hand pass the 12, she says, "your heart's still beating."

"no--when i say i want you to time it, i mean i want you to count
the heartbeats.  start counting when the second hand hits 12 and 
stop when it hits 6 and then tell me how many you counted..."

she understands then and does as i ask.  she tells me a number,
i multiply it by two in my head... i don't remember if it was too
high or too low.  i still feel terrible.  i go on explaining to
her that there's nothing special about 12 and 6, that it could be
3 and 9, or 2 and 8, or 7 and 1... slowly she understands that i'm 
talking about dividing the face of the clock in half--and that the
seconds held in each half number 30--and...

it appears i spent the night dreaming about giving a math/time lesson
to a six-year-old.


chaos

pedantic to the end 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net)
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Organization: Computing Something Division
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 23:58:51 GMT

In article <pjlkr7o@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>I don't actually own the Magnepans yet.  I decided they

>Materialism versus social responsibility.
>      Music versus politics.

Mz cj:

Get the magnepans.  Play lots of rap and socially concious alternative
music Really Really loud.  Enlighten your neighbors; lots of neighbors
together will have more money for programs, neh?
-- 
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.   \  (414)CRUSH-13
T. Flynn's Casa de Interesting: 1755 N Cambridge Ave #306 Milwaukee WI 53202    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Michael Rigler)
Subject: Re: [IRRELEVANT]
Organization: IFA
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 00:09:41 GMT

>Better to lurk a good while, then post as if ya been posting all yer life.
>Note to Newbies: the above is all sarcasm; don't believe a word of it. Just
>get in line.

For those who lack the patience, there exists an alternative --
the "Suzuki" method of t.b advancement.  Observe this flowchart:

(1) Lurk not  ----  (2) Post in abject half-
                        witted cluelessness.  
                                \ 
                                 \ 
                                  \  
                  ______ (3a) Face the Slayer 
   (3f) Fuck the                     \
        Polar Bear                    \
           /                           \
          /                             +--------- (4) Get a Clue [tm]
 (3e) Lick the                         /
      Chainsaw                        /
         |                           /
         |               (3b) Kiss the Whip
(3d) Suck the                     /
     Mattock                     /
            \                   /
              (3c) Bite the Axe
                   

Rigler                              (Try not to get stuck in Step Three)