From: 00rggraham@bsu-ucs.uucp
Newsgroups: alt.child-support,misc.kids
Subject: Starting young part II
Date: 9 Apr 92 15:52:05 GMT
Article-I.D.: bsu-ucs.1992Apr9.105206.5950

Once again, sorry about the cross-posting.
And thank you to everybody who responded to my post.
I will just comment on some of the comments you sent me.

I forgot to mention something in my original post.
My girlfriend's [Jennifer's] mom has agreed to be the legal guardian for the
baby.
We have contacted a lawyer to help figure this out.
If she is the legal guardian then Jennifer's mom's insurance will cover the
baby at no extra charge. We have checked into this.
Otherwise her mother's insurance would only cover the baby for 7 days.
Not nearly long enough for us to get some.
I just forgot to mention it.

I know my comment about not going to get married now took some of you by shock.
And the line about marriage as paperwork also.
I meant the Jennifer and I could not get married _now_.
We will still probably get married for the same reasons everyone has mentioned.
--insurance, job benefits, taxes, wills...
Our marriage 'ceremony' will probably just consist of the visit to the justice
of the peace. 
I have been considering for a year now as to what I should get Jennifer for her
graduation this spring.
I decided on, quite a while ago, an engagement ring.
Or, a ring that I will call an engagement ring.
I could not afford the glitzy diamond studded ones before and definitely would
not be able to now.
When I first found out that Jennifer was pregnant I wondered what my parents
would think if I still gave Jennifer the engagement ring for graduation.
I don't care what they think now.
I was going to do it in the first place.
Jennifer being pregnant hasn't changed that.
We still won't get married until we are out of college and have insurance of
our own.
It's the only way Jennifer can have coverage.

As to our thoughts on putting the child up for adoption if our monies run out.
Welll, we are back to square one on that one.
We will either now 1) keep the baby for better or worse or 2) give it to a
family that Jennifer wants to -- they have been trying to have children for 10
years and haven't been able to.
Personally, I think it would be better to give it to them.
It would make me happy to think that I made someone else happy by giving them a
life to take care of.
If they have been trying for 10 years then they are obviously better prepared
than Jennifer and I.
I am still trying to convince her on this.
But, I can only offer her suggestions. The final decision is her's. I only hope
she makes the right one for all people involved.

Our child will learn what it is like to be frugal, as I am sure Jennifer and I
will also.
They will not have all of the designer clothing.
I don't have all of the designer clothing.
I've been saving money for college by shopping at goodwills and thrift stores
for years now.
I am not going to change that.
Jennifer has all of her baby, infant, and child clothes from when she grew up.
Her brothers have all of their's.
I think we're set in the clothing department.

I know my family will come around.
That is what I keep telling myself and hoping.
I talked to my sister last night.
My mother had called her the night before and told her that she was going to be
and aunt. HA!
Karen [my sister] is in college at the University of Akron.
We're twins.
She was upset when I called her.
But was feeling much much better when I got off the phone with her.
I think I have a handle on things.
I think Jennifer and I have a handle on things.
We might not be thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong, but WE
KNOW THAT!
We are not being naive thinking that it will work out.
It MIGHT work out.
If it does, GREAT.
Our kid will be out of the house by the time Jennifer is 40.
We'll still have a lifetime ahead of us.
I just wish my parents would get the idea out of their head that 'I ruined
their lives.'
I didn't even ruin my life.

Thank you all for everything.
I did not post to these groups for sympathy or support.
I just posted to find out other people's opinions.
I like to know that stuff.
I'm a journalism major.
Might come in handy someday.
If one comes out--buy the book.

Ross Graham