From: davis@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Barbara Davis)
Subject: Re: Any suggestions for when you feel depressed for no reason?
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 18:21:10 GMT

To: murphyg@Software.Mitel.COM
Subject: Re: Any suggestions for when you feel depressed for no reason?
Newsgroups: alt.support
acvx2.gac.edu>  <1992Oct12.194439.22444@cbnewsm.cb.att.com>     <1992Oct13.06164
5.20535@leland.Stanford.EDU> <MURPHYG.92Oct14091509@murphyg.Software.Mitel.COM>
work.

In alt.support you write:

>In article <1992Oct13.061645.20535@leland.Stanford.EDU> sykopath@leland.Stanfor
d.EDU (Mickey) writes:

>   One comment on this...
>   1) there are still things which happened *SEVEN YEARS* ago, which will
>   make me cringe internally and blush with shame just to remember them.
>   ...

>   And...I haven't been really able to pray for a group in public since then,
>   because it reminds me of that experience.

>   2) there is hope!  In fact, for me at least, there is a cure.
>   It's so simple, it's almost unbelievable how reliably and completely it work
s.

>   Tell someone.

>   Like I just did there.

>   It works *much* better in person than on the net...
>   ...but then, it's much harder to do in person, too.

>So what you are telling us, Mickey, is having done that you can now
>magically give a public prayer without the least taint of embarassement?
>That the simple act now completely and permanently removes all the
>cringing and shame?  I think not.

Have you tried it and found it didn't work, or do you just *think* it wouldn't
work.

>You say yourself you haven't done it since, yet you give us what you did
>to cure it!  Which is it?  If it works so well, then why do you give
>yourself the artificial label of being "a depressed person"?  Are you
>depressed right now?  How did you feel when you sat down at the computer
>just now?  How did you feel when you saw a follow-up to your message?
>What did you do then?
                        

None of this has anything to do with feeling relieved of shame by taking about
the event.  My impression was that he was telling for the first time.  That
meant that he felt relieved and had not yet had time to test his ability
to pray in public.  My experience tells me that if he no longer expected to
have problems in this area, he most likely won't.

>Is it truly theraputic in the curative sense, or is it just the rush
>that we get from dumping stale feeling-tales on another human being?
>Why not simply accept that sometimes we do stupid things and will feel
>bad about it for whatever reason?  why not continue to do what is needed
>regardless?  Why not then listening to and helping our friend instead of
>adding to their troubles by wasting their time with these stories where
>neither of us can change the outcome?  We both know we could be doing
>something else more constructive with out time together, and that time
>and the friendship is too precious to waste.

What is more constructive than listening to a friend and offering
acknowledgement and support.  That, in fact, is part of my definition of
friendship.  And, to me, this is marvelously constructive.  This level of
sharing constructs good feelings in both parties.  It constructs bridges
between two people that allows them to connect.  It constructs the base
for a solid feeling of self respect for both the talker and the listener.

Every effective program of personal growth involves healing by sharing.  It
is a method that has been proven effective time and time again.

You sound so angry, I think you need to find a friendly, supportive ear to
help you relieve some of your pain.

>Feelings are like fish: they are best when fresh.

And like anything, left buried they moulder and grow rotten and eventually
sicken us emotionally and at times physically.

Barb
-- 
Barbara G. Davis                       Internet:  davis@ucsu.colorado.edu
University of Colorado, Boulder 

                   If I don't ask, you can't say, "Yes!".