HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: buccb@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Carlos Dragonslayer Butler)
Subject: Re: I don't think any caring man needs a "come on" line.
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 1993 22:39:15 GMT

In a previous episode on alt.romance,
fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen) drops complete science:

>	This net is degenerating into a place where junk thoughts prevail. All
>this talk about "come on" line is for the stupid. Any woman with any self
>respect at all wouldn't have anything to do with the creeps that hide behind
>a "come on" line. Actually, these lines are a misnomer; they should be called
>"turn off" lines, which is their proper name.
>	How about treating women with gentleness and respect; it goes a long
>way and keeps you out of the gutter.

	Two problems:
	1) You still need a "come on" line. To treat a woman with gentleness
and respect, you need to interact with her on an ongoing basis. If you see a
woman in public that you would like to meet, you need a "come on" line to
make her at least curious enough to see what else is there to you. After
she decides to interact with you, then you can get a chance to show her 
the gentle and respectful side of persona.
	2) If you want physical satisfaction *that* night. There's no time
to show her how gentle and respectful you are. You have to appeal to her on
another level.


-- 
               Carlos D. Butler, buccb@after.math.uiuc.edu
     President of Butler Services--DTP, typing, and information gathering
    Champaign, IL      (217) 359-7632 Home	     (217) 373-4781 Pager
          "People often condescend what they fail to comprehend...
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples
From: rjf@dptg.att.com (51351[efw]-Robert Feddeler(MT4799)T343)
Subject: Re: help!  worried about friends...
Organization: AT&T/NCR, Lincroft, NJ, USA
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 13:46:06 GMT

In article <1992Dec28.035809.29078@samba.oit.unc.edu> Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes:
>Help!
>Two friends of mine (ages 17 and 19) are engaged, which in itself is not 
>necessarily a bad thing, but...
>
>It has recently come to my attention that, even though the marriage is
>mere months away, neither of them have thought to start talking about
>such minutae (sp?) as financial plans, where they're going to live,
>how they're going to tell their parents (which bothers me on another 
>plane too), etc..
>
	[stuff deleted]
>
>So do any of you know of anyone else I can suggest that is fairly
>inexpensive?  They also told me that a marriage counselor is too
>expensive (something I can understand) and there's nothing wrong 
>with their relationship either.  In short, my friends want advice,
>but refuse to believe me in that certain types of counsellors won't
>be biased.
>I really want my friends to work out, and I think that if they don't
>get bogged down in the little things, they will.  But what kind of
>a marriage is it where they start out without even a house to live in
>or a way to pay for it?


"Ain't no doubt about it, we were double screwed...
Cause we were barely seventeen and we didn't have a clue........"

Taking Paradise a little bit too literally, aren't we?
These two are going to _live_ in their car?

I called my financial planner, Buck Sargonne, to find out what he
thought of your friend's situation.  He reminded me that one of the
most important things for a young newly-wed couple to do is to set up
a Divorce Club at a local bank.  Paying, say, $50 per week into this
club will insure that the legal fees associated with your friend's
inevitable divorce will not force them into bankruptcy.  An additional
benefit is that after they make the 13th payment, the bank will give
them two toasters.  One for each so they don't have to fight over who
gets it later.  They come with a special adapter to plug into the
cigarette lighter on the dashboard in their kitchen.


"It was long ago and it was far away
and it was so much better than it is today."


"Awe, honey!  Meatloaf again?  Well, okay, but can I take it into the
back seat so I can watch TV while I eat?"


I'll tell you, if I had known Buck (and followed his advice) 12 years
ago when _I_ got married, I'd be a _much_ happier person.


bob.			| Heap big trouble in the land of plenty.
1. I'm sorry.  No, really.  I just can't _tell_ you how sorry I am.
2. Were these more than just my opinions, they would have cost a bit more.
From: Gleeep@cup.portal.com (Dave - Silon)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Plausible Xmass Present
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 92 23:35:33 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

>How do you teach an old cat new tricks?

Electro-shock?

Gleeep

____________________________________________________________________________
|                                                             *            |
|   Harmless (harm'lis) adj.:                                 ^            |
|                                                            / \           |
|                                                           /   \          |
|   Little orphan Gleeep in Christmas hat.                &/_____\&        |
|                                                        &&&&&&&&&&&       |
|                                                       /=  &&&&&&&&&      |
|                                                      / O  ]&&&&&&&&      |
|  "Oh please Daddy Warbucks, can I have               L      &&&&&&       |
|   an electronic chainsaw for Christmas?"             mm    /  J&&&&      |
|                                                       t_-|    |&&&       |
|    [gleeep@cup.portal.com]                               |    |&&&&      |
|_________________________________________________________________________|
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: huesmann@wam.umd.edu (Joseph Edward Huesmann)
Subject: "1001 More Romantic Things To Do"
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 01:03:53 GMT


For those of you who are romance-impaired (or whose SO is thus) Greg Godek's
sequel to "1001 Romantic Things To Do", "1001 More Romantic Things To Do" is
out. Just like the first book, it contains many bits of useful information/
advice on romance and relationships. I just picked it up the other day, so
it probably hasn't been out too long. (Not that it's going to help me much,
anyway, of course... :( But good luck to those of you it may help.)

Happy Holidays to those of you who seem to care about them.

Joe

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|  huesmann@wam.umd.edu     "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all   |
|  Joseph E. Huesmann        the world, she walks into mine!"                |
|                                              -- Rick Blaine, "Casablanca"  |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: michael@gandalf.moria (Michael Haardt)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Merry Christmas everyone
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 92 22:11:32 +0100
Organization: An old and gray machine, somewhere in Moria.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: u31b3hs@pool.informatik.rwth-aachen.de (Michael Haardt)
NNTP-Posting-Host: messua.informatik.rwth-aachen.de

In article <1992Dec23.114513.8646@infodev.cam.ac.uk>, M.J.Jennings@amtp.cam.ac.uk (Michael Jennings) writes:
> 	I've had a pretty lousy year (let me rephrase that - a really
> lousy year) both professionally and personally, although I think I'm
> starting to see the lights at the end of the tunnels (thank goodness).
> Thanks to all the alt.romancers for cheering me up at times this year.
> 
> 	MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 	HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> 	Michael

There were some dark clouds this year, but a year that starts with
finding friendship as deep as I never thought of before and a year that
goes on with finding love to a wonderful woman (Do you listen Mary? :)
can't be called lousy.  I will not start a LDR again (don't show me
saved articles from the middle of the year where I speak different about
that), but hopefully next year changes that LDR to a "usual"
relationship.

I enjoy this group since years now, so happy new year to everybody!
Keep on writing nice articles and making *big birthday smile*s when
people remember them :)

*hugs* for all hopeless romantics

Michael "root"
--
Twiggs and root are a wonderful tree (tm) #ourhome 1992
From: Gleeep@cup.portal.com (Dave - Silon)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: DRIEM
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 92 15:10:51 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

>Who and what would you be if you went beyond your deepest fears?

A 1/16" scale commemorative Herculoids collector's item?

-Gleeep
From: mec@acsu.buffalo.edu (Marie E. Copertino)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: John Fippen
Date: 22 Dec 92 18:05:36 GMT
Organization: UB

keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard) writes:

|Hey Julie!  What a good thought!  Yes, I'll bet Ole John is 
|going to have a wonderful Christmas.  There will be the fire
|in the fireplace, maybe a little snow on the ground, the tree
|will be decorated with handmade ornaments, under which will
|lie boxes & boxes of presents for their children and grandchildren.
|The kitchen will be alive with the aroma of holiday cooking, and 
|"Maw Fippen" will create all kinds of special deserts to go along
|with the softest homemade bisquits that melt at the slightest 
|taste.  In the background will be the sounds of holiday magic, 
|from Bing Crosby singing "WHite Christmas", to the singing dogs
|singing "Jingle Bells".  

	Keith...  

	Yes, in their hearts, everyone wants Christmas to be like this.
It seems the magic of Christmas is that on that one day, many people are
all striving extra-hard to achieve that richness and love and simplicity.
John and Elizabeth Fippen are truly blessed that they have found each other,
and are able to celebrate a holiday of love, every day.  
	As I well know, the vast majority of people are not so lucky, or they
have concentrated far more on other goals.   I think you should examine the
reasons for your bitterness.  You can not even nudge the surface of John
and his family's happiness with your sarcastic words.  I feel for you, and
I really hope your Christmas this year is closer to what you want it to be.


					Marie


-- 
"This is the final task I will give you, and it goes on forever:
 Act happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world.
 Then you can love, and do what you will."      -- Dan Millman
					   "Way of the Peaceful Warrior"
Xref: sparky alt.romance:15571 soc.couples:4489
From: keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: John Fippen
Date: 21 Dec 92 17:03:40 GMT
Organization: California-Nevada Methodist Homes

In article <BzH6nA.5Fz@news.cso.uiuc.edu> jav56209@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Villanueva) writes:
>  Dear John,
>    I'd like to thank you too for sharing your wonderful life with us...
>    with me.  It's so very nice to hear about TRUE love.  I wish you
>    and your wife a joyful holiday season!
>    Pleasant thoughts,
>    Julie

Hey Julie!  What a good thought!  Yes, I'll bet Ole John is 
going to have a wonderful Christmas.  There will be the fire
in the fireplace, maybe a little snow on the ground, the tree
will be decorated with handmade ornaments, under which will
lie boxes & boxes of presents for their children and grandchildren.
The kitchen will be alive with the aroma of holiday cooking, and 
"Maw Fippen" will create all kinds of special deserts to go along
with the softest homemade bisquits that melt at the slightest 
taste.  In the background will be the sounds of holiday magic, 
from Bing Crosby singing "WHite Christmas", to the singing dogs
singing "Jingle Bells".  
Yes John, I know you are out there, so let us know how your
holiday goes.  I'm sure there are lots of us who have enquiring
minds, and want to know.  Happy holidays from me too!
--Keith
From: Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: thanks to all who gave advice
Date: 31 Dec 92 05:22:52 GMT
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service

Thanks to all of you who gave me advice via email and posting about my 
friends.  They're pretty bull-headed but several of their friends and
I are going to try and pull something together (I posted because I was
the only one on the net across Christmas and we're trying to keep this
somewhat quiet.)  Thanks for the luck!

I'm probably going to advise that they wait.  For one thing, one reason
for such a sudden marriage was to give the girl in-state tuition.  I
checked statutes for another assignment and discovered that the state of
NC won't let her do that until she's been married a year. 

About getting married young, though: I have to disagree about setting
a definite age limit.  I stated before that I am engaged; those who know
me as Lady Firebird know that it's to Master Thespian.  I'm just shy of
18 and he's 19.  We're planning on getting married sometime shortly after
I turn 20 while he is 21.

This wasn't an arbitrary choice.  We're waiting for me to get out of 
college (I'm in a two-year program).  I'll be 19 when I do that.  Six
months later, my fiance graduates.  During that six months I'm going to
work and put back some money.  That way we should have something to start
on.  We know better than to get married in college.
My point is that it isn't age but maturity that makes a marriage.  I think
that since Tracy and I are making plans for finances and such, however 
ambiguous at this point, we'll be okay.  I'm already on birth control and
plan to stay that way.  A lot of my friends don't face the future like this
and a lot do.  I think that age has nothing to do with it so much as the
ability and/or willingness to be responsible.  Some people are ready at 15 or
16 and some aren't until they're in their 30s.  While the latter is more
common the former is not unknown.

Again, thanks for all your advice, and I'll keep you posted!

Lady Firebird

Catherine Collingwood, aka Lady Firebird
colli_c@xanth.cs.odu.edu or Catherine.Collingwood@lambada.oit.unc.edu
Paralegal-to-Be, Pitt Community College, Greenville NC
Gamma Sigma Sigma: Giving Sharing and Serving
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Re: Equality between men and women; is there such a thing?
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems, Inc.
Distribution: na
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 93 22:18:40 GMT

In article <1993Jan3.012253.22642@mercury.cair.du.edu> charon@zephyr.cair.du.edu (Spaz) writes:
>
>Equality between men and women.  Equality straight across the board.  Not
>Equal when it suits a purpose, Not Equal just when it's convenient, but
>Equality at ALL times be it good, or bad.  Knowing this, do you still
>wish to be equal?

There is no equality between Men and Men, nor Women and Women.  How
*could* there be equality between Men and Women?  Now *ideally* there
could be equality, but we do not live in an ideal word, so the
question is moot.

rip
-- 
While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
Xref: sparky alt.romance:15617 alt.romance.chat:22678
From: ci022@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard Kirby)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Equality between men and women; is there such a thing?
Date: 3 Jan 1993 04:14:40 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: ci022@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard Kirby)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, charon@zephyr.cair.du.edu (Spaz) says:

>
>Equality between men and women.  Equality straight across the board.  Not 
>Equal when it suits a purpose, Not Equal just when it's convenient, but
>Equality at ALL times be it good, or bad.  Knowing this, do you still
>wish to be equal?
>

Since this is alt.romance.* I assume you refer to equality between
my SO and me.  Which of course has little or nothing to do with
equality in the workplace, battlefield, etc.

No.  I want her to be better than me at her hobbies and career.
And I want to be better at my hobbies and career.  This is not
equality.  This is balence.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: alex@mentor.cc.purdue.edu ( )
Subject: Re: expectations and idealism
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 01:53:05 GMT


I hate to say it, but your boyfriend seems to fit into the
catagory of Unromantus Couchpotatus.  A relationship is not a 
one sided thing, and to all accounts, it seems as if yours is.
Unless he's doing *a lot* of things we don't know about, he
definitely qualifies for a massively insensitive ass.  
And, quite frankly, if he continues like this, you should find
someone who will be quite a bit more attentive to your emotional
needs.  I'm afraid you're not being petty.  Far from it. I would be
crushed should my girlfriend tell me to take back a present I had
given her.  Bottom line:  If he's not willing to go with his
end of things, get rid of him and find yourself someone who will.
You don't deserve to be dumped on like that.  No one does.

                                                -The Nicolus Alexicus
From: daw@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (Dave Webb)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: I think it's over..
Date: 22 Dec 92 20:51:29 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: HAC - Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore

Can anyone out there help me in this healing process?  It looks as though
I'm about to end a wonderful 5 month LDR with my girlfriend from New York.
It seems that the idea of a future together no longer exists.  The reasons
are many.. with her parents being the biggest.  If you don't remember, I was
the guy who got hooked up with a Jewish girl and was wondering about her
parents reactions.  Well it seems I'm not even going to get a chance to find
out what her parents reactions will be.. She thinks that if they find out now, 
they'll still throw her out of the house and not trust her anymore.  She also
say's she's very confused right now and don't feel the same as she did before.
She doesn't know what exactly made her feel this way.  Right now, I am crying
my eyes out over her loss.  EVERYTHING I look at reminds me of her. I am
feeling VERY helpless!  This all started when she decided she didn't want
to come here and spend a few days.. (She was supposed to come down for three
days and have me come back up to New York for the week.) (Her parents are out
of town).  Well anyway, she decides that she can't come down for the whole time
and wanted to come down just Christmas day and leave that night.  I didn't thinkthat was a good idea and didn't understand her reasoning.. I still don't. 
Anyway, near as I could tell, one thing led to another and I was told she 
doesn't feel the same as she did (that is, she doesn't see marriage in our 
future).  She says she still loves me, but can't risk losing her entire
family over me.  I am so hurt and numb.. I feel very empty inside!  All I've
been doing today was thinking about her and trying to figure this out.  I'm
at a lost.  I honestly believe it's over and that we'll probably drag it out
a couple of weeks over the phone crying.  She doesn't respond to reason and
seems not to know what to do.  I can't decide for her but I'm affraid that
if she decides for herself, I'm out of the picture.  HOW can something like
this happen to two people who say they still love each other?  Can someone
explain this?  I can't bear the thought of being without her, she was my life
my love and my livelyhood!  What should I do?  What should I expect of her?
I need help!
			
			Dave Webb
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.men,soc.women,alt.sex,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-)
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
Organization: OFSA
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 17:24:33 GMT

stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) says:

>Strong enough to keep from *breaking* a heart, through thoughtlessness,
>lack of love, or indifference....

Good point, Travis....and strong enough to keep from breaking his own
heart perhaps?...but is this quality strength or is it wisdom,
maturity and true caring for others and self?



Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.men,soc.women,alt.sex,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service
Date: Fri, 1 Jan 1993 02:01:46 GMT

In article <1hvafiINNcao@bigboote.WPI.EDU> satan@wpi.WPI.EDU (Matthew James Meyer) writes:
>In article <stone.725819462@cwis> stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes:
>>******************************************************************
>>
>>Strong enough to keep from *breaking* a heart, through thoughtlessness,
>>lack of love, or indifference....
>>
>>****************************************************************** 
>>
>>T.R. Stone
>>
>>

Strong enough to admit when he is weak.

Lady Firebird
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Xref: sparky alt.romance:15530 soc.couples:4470
From: keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples
Subject: Re: help!  worried about friends...
Date: 28 Dec 92 22:57:45 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: California-Nevada Methodist Homes

In article <1992Dec28.035809.29078@samba.oit.unc.edu> Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes:
>Help!
>Two friends of mine (ages 17 and 19) are engaged, which in itself is not 
>necessarily a bad thing, but...
>mere months away, neither of them have thought to start talking about
>such minutae (sp?) as financial plans, where they're going to live,
>And they keep asking me for advice on how to make a relationship work!
>So do any of you know of anyone else I can suggest that is fairly
>inexpensive?  They also told me that a marriage counselor is too
>with their relationship either.  In short, my friends want advice,
>but refuse to believe me in that certain types of counsellors won't
>be biased.

Do your friends have access to the Net?  If so, they can receive
all the advice they need from here.  Another alternative is YOU.
Can't you help your friends out?  Or do they want an unbiased
third party observer?  
You are right, in that they *do* need to talk about the financial
situation, as well as a lot of other things.  Such as BABIES.  
How do they feel about children?  Are they going to have joint
checking accounts, or separate?  Is she going to take his name
when they are married, or keep her own?  Will they have their
own credit cards?  Will they live in her place or his?  If one
of the parties has a significant financial investment anywhere,
or stands to inherit a significant fortune, will this be accounted
for and protected by a prenuptial agreement?
Yes, your friends need to have a talk with someone.  If they
don't think so, then they obviously aren't ready for marriage.
Although I'm normally against the scenario you spoke of involving
the priest's retreat, in this case, I think it would be a good
idea.  
--Keith

Newsgroups: alt.romance