From: weiss@leopard.cs.uidaho.edu (Phil Weiss)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Working with others (I'm not finished, part 2)
Date: 15 Dec 1992 02:29:49 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

So a newcomer walks into the Saturday night meeting (we're rural,
we only have one meeting Sat. nite).  The Saturday Night Lifers
do a tradition meeting on the last Sat of the month.  Not only
is the meeting dry, but someone decides he wants to spend 5 minutes
talking about how the Bible is the answer to everything...

The newcomer bolts.

Remember your first few meetings?  Sat in the back maybe?  Shaking
a bit.  Didn't particularly know why you were there.  You'd
heard that AA talked about God, but you weren't sure.  Remember
how harsh Sister Edna used to be in school.  Then when the meeting
started, someone introduced himself, "Hi, my name is Ed, and I'm
an alcoholic" after which everyone in the room it seemed called
out "Hi Ed."  Weird.  Remember wanting to bolt?

So the newcomer bolted.  I'm in the back room getting my third
refill on caffeine.  Dave comes back... "New guy bolted.  Whaddaya
think? We go after him?" So Dave and I head outside.  Luckily,
the new guy didn't have a ride, so he was just having a smoke
trying to figure out how to get home.  So Dave and I sit with
him and let him babble.  He's just woken up from a blackout.  He
got out of treatment (his second, $21,000) the day before and
really didn't want to get drunk, but he can't remember what
happened.  Dave, Lance, and I drive him 20 miles to the next town
so we can catch a different meeting.  Afterwards, the new guy
and I meet up with a buncha sober folks ('bout 10) at the Godfather's
watching the Wash. St. Cougars beat Arizona on the big screen.
After that, we catch the midnight movie at the dollar movie house
in Moscow.  It's Monty Python's "Holy Grail."  I drive him home.

That was my first experience with Sean, and my first experience
with intensive work with another alcoholic.  I sponsor Sean now.

Two weeks after I met him, and one relapse, Sean asked me to
sponsor him.  He saw that I managed to show up regualrly at
my home group meeting, that I talked with him & other newcomers,
that I was willing to spend time.  Within the first week I
sponsored him, he saw that I showed up at work, that I manage
to keep my place relatively clean, that I don't fight with my
sister (also my roommate).

I am what many AA members calla "Big Book thumper."  I don't mind
what you do to stay sober, but I use the Big Book.  The way I
was sponsored was that I showed up at my sponsor's house once
a week, he read out of the Big Book, shared his experience, and
guided me through the steps as we read them.  There are other
ways to sponsor people.  However, I can only sponsor that way,
because that's the experience I have.

So Sean comes over to my place once a week.  We're reading the
text on the third step.  Next week, we'll read the fourth step
text, then we'll kneel and say the 3rd step prayer together, and
Sean will go home for a week to write his 4th step.

What's amazing about this is the way Sean sucks this up.  He has
found an answer and eagerly clings to it.  The egotist in me
likes the fact that I played a part.  More than that, though, is
that I get to remember the principles which I live by as I
take Sean through the steps.  I grow in my sobriety as he grows
in his.  Sounds kind of hokey doesn't it.  But it is a central
truth in my life today.

I do carry the message in more ways than this.  I sponsor one
other guy, Matt.  I speak at prison, jail, and treatment meetings.
I deliver Big Books to our library.  I talk with newcomers.

This brings me freedom from alcohol.  Today, I can leave it alone.
I have the reaction of a man who recoils from a hot stove.

As Bill writes in his story: "I would be amazingly lifted up and
set on my feet.  It is a design for living that works in rough
going."

Phil W (Moscow, ID)

We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will
surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
  May God bless you and keep you until then!


Newsgroups: alt.recovery