HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mhl@genco.bungi.com (Mark Levy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Goodbye
Date: 7 Jan 93 02:40:05 GMT
Reply-To: mhl@genco.bungi.com (Mark Levy)
Organization: Gentry & Assoc. Excelsior Springs, MO

Hi All,
   It's been about 4 years since I had net access, and I'm wondering 
if Mr. TALK.BIZARRE, BoB Tech is still out there??

______________________________
Mark Levy  Senior System Engineer  Micrologic/ValCom  Independence, MO
Sysop Kludge BBS  (816)246-4375 - Public Novell info BBS on PCBoard
Voice (816)478-4270    Email: mhl@genco.bungi.com    CI$: 72450,3217
NOTICE - All standard disclaimers and copyrights (& copylefts) apply.
The above views do not reflect those of Gentry & Associates, or anyone else!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: sunthej@alleg.edu (Jake Blues)
Subject: Short Shameful Correction
Reply-To: sunthej@alleg.edu
Organization: Allegheny College
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 22:18:44 GMT


One of the wonder twins was a boy.
From: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Trip report I
Date: 5 Jan 93 17:05:42 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


So there I was zooooming along I-70 between Cedar City UT amd Limon CO.
In my haste I forgot about the boycott so sorry. Cedar City was the
whitest town I think I have ever been in. In Colorado I bought a lottery
ticket. It hit 3 on one draw and I never checked it against the next
one. I don't know what CO pays for 3, but the first CO address gets it
gratis. Anyway I'm cruising and I have to piss *REAL* bad. I kept going
until I couldn't bear it at which time I drove off the highway, jumped
out, and relieved myself in a stream. As I stood there I realized that it
wasn't just any stream but rather the Colorado River. The sense of
relief was exquisite.

rp -- the notion that I was urinating in Carasso and 5150's water supply
      made it even more enjoyable.
From: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: walking in a winter underworld
Date: 7 Jan 93 23:56:08 GMT
Reply-To: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.

New York:

Anywhere else you go, you're in civilization.

L.

** .357 Magnum for sale. One careful owner **
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: How my brother spent Christmas
Date: 11 Jan 1993 01:23:37 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <C0n8xL.L49@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM> jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
>In <1ievemINNc5b@rave.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
>>Fireballs are neither urbane nor cultured.
>>Yogurt is cultured, but not urbane.
>
>Popes have been urban, but I've never seen one in a Petri dish.

Urbane, not merely urban.  Most street gangs are urban, but they aren't 
invited.  Anyway, you'd expect anyone who lives in Vatican City to be
relatively urban, so even the popes who weren't Urban might have been
urban.  God knows that most of the popes who were Pious weren't very
pious.
--scott

Of course, you'd expect him to, what with being omniscient and all.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: k206027@smog.DKRZ-Hamburg.DE (Bakayaroo Banzai)
Subject: Re: Christmas Memories
Organization: Kill Them All, Let Nukey Dog Sort Them Out
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 93 14:23:34 GMT

In article <larne.054y@canetoad.UUCP> larne@canetoad.UUCP (Larne Pekowsky) writes:
>In article <C0Axt1.B3y@rice.edu> caz@owlnet.rice.edu (HWRNMNBSOL) writes:
>>.......no, Santa!  A pint of hummus, or nothing!.....
>
>I made hummus for casa canetoad's New Year's party.
>
>It came out rock solid, and a slightly unpleasant shade of green.  Grendel
>said it tasted like eating a houseplant.  Annie's fiance said it tasted
>like eating a plush rug.
>
>Mr x scooped some into a flask, saying he was looking for a substance with
>exactly this binding energy for a project he's working on.
>
I think I see where you went wrong. You obviously whipped up a batch
of "humus" by mistake thus producing a bowl of decayed animal and 
vegetable matter suitable for composting (not unlike this response).

Please check your recipe closely for the all-important extra "m" and
test your colleague's responses for accuracy by immediately consuming
a houseplant and plush rug.

Bakayaroo Banzai
Still Masturbating with a Cheese-grater
(I tried to stop, but it feels so Gouda...)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton)
Subject: Re: Christmas Memories
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 20:51:21 GMT

In <schnitzi.726176122@eola.cs.ucf.edu> schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius) writes:

>Is it just me, or is this sort of brown-nosing running
>rampant through t.b?

Hey, thanks, Mark.  I really liked that post.


-- 
ben
fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu

and
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pv@gagme.chi.il.us (Paul Vader)
Subject: Re: Infinite Loop
Originator: pv@gagme
Organization: Inline Software Creations
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 00:12:14 GMT

5150 writes:
>    "Were you being sarcastic just now?"
>    "No."
I'm saving this from innumerable kill files because it marks the first
time I can ever remember laughing at one of 5150's posts. PV
-- 
Paul Vader            systems analyst, hell's cavenewt, rollerblader,
pv@gagme.chi.il.us    FOAF, smartass liberal democrat
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:43613 rec.arts.poems:13394
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.arts.poems
Subject: Misunderstanding
Date: Tue, 05 Jan 93 18:12:07 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

Libraries butter melon coffee flour
she sang from the kitchen
so I wrote them on the list of things to buy and do

She walked into the room and saw me
and said
What are you doing?

I said
I heard you singing the shopping list

and she said
I sang
Life is but a melancholy flower

and I said
Well pardon me
I didn't realise you were a poet


mathew
From: mrx@sgi.com (cloaking the constant k)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Flavour Sensation
Date: 12 Jan 93 23:09:50 GMT
Organization: the theory that jack built

mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus) writes:

>    I don't know what kind of mutant axolotls you have up there in the
>lab, Herr Doktor X, but axolotls in my universe don't have brains.

perhaps you should check your universe
then.  in mine, axolotls are a variety
of salamander native to the western us
and mexico, which retain larval gill
structures after sexually maturing.  

>They're a sort of slimiy missing link between vertebrates and
>invertebrates, lacking any nervous system more complex than a
>rudimentary notocord.

>I think perhaps what you mean to write was:
>
>>   one tablet completely reconfigures
>>   your brain's biochemistry to match
>>   that of an immature atlatl.

never was much on uto-aztecan bioscience,
but i suspect they hadn't the technology
to grow them.  in my universe, anyhow.

>Always glad to be of service.

ditto.


	mr x

	heisenberg vortex on the fritz again?
--
mrx@annexia.esd.sgi.com
rmr@sgi.com
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Test
Date: 4 Jan 1993 19:42:50 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
NNTP-Posting-Host: stealth.intel.com

In article <1992Dec31.233403.12966@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy) writes:
>			enjoy the fan mail loser.

Well, as fan mail losers go, you're one of the best, pee-jay.

				--Blair
				  "Air struts in my scansion."
From: sho@bohr.physics.purdue.edu (Sho Kuwamoto)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: mixolexic
Date: 5 Jan 93 01:50:34 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Physics Department

I picked up the next book and threw it on the fire, along
with the rest.

As the blaze roared on, the letters flew up with the smoke,
covering the surrounding trees with meaningless gibberish.
Curious, I tried to read a nearby branch.  

   "Systopholic tangenticons, while noneverless iconobastic,
reel, sometimes, quite sundry and tawdry asconces,
especially in the triary of eustancily, which can koften
dismember inappropriately."

I tossed another book on the fire.

-Sho
--
sho@physics.purdue.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: Mr. Ghaly is the right man in the right place.
Keywords: huh?
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 13:35:58 GMT

> schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius) writes:



>Probably.  My dad drinks Black Label Non-Alcoholic Malt Beverage, the
>worst non-alcoholic beer in the known universe.


Although it is still only the 5th of January, this has a good shot at
being the MOST SHAMEFUL confession t.b. will see in 93. Really, i mean,
if schnitz was admitting that HE drank this stuff, it wouldnt be nearly
so shameful, but his DAD!@?!@ 

my dad gave up beer in favor of gin, as beer has an unfavorable calories/
alcohol ratio--when you weigh 260+ it takes 10000 cals worth of american
beer to get a buzz.....
From: anon.539@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: test
Date: 9 Jan 1993 09:56:48 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.539@pax.tpa.com.au
NNTP-Posting-Host: flash.pax.tpa.com.au



test message,
test message,
thumpa thumpa-
test message.


--
** Anonymity & Privacy by PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) **

anon.admin@pax.tpa.com.au (a human)   anon.info@pax.tpa.com.au    (for help)
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anon.list@pax.tpa.com.au  (to mailing list about anonymous mailers)
anon.subscribe@pax.tpa.com.au         anon.unsubscribe@pax.tpa.com.au

For dialup Unix access phone +61-8-235-9010 - online registration.
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: quote, witty, iso context
Date: 7 Jan 1993 01:31:03 GMT
Organization: UC Berkeley CS Dept.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

"There must be a hyena in here somewhere."

c
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: the probation office
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 20:09:16 GMT
Keywords: bug juice

pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy) writes:
>i get to go to the fed. courthouse probation office on monday!! JOY!! 
>i hope they decide to pay me for this whole affair.

Actually, I've written the whole thing up for a TV movie, forging your
signature on the release forms so you can't sue me the for the bucks
that those network bastards paying me.

As a bonus, I've even ask them to cast me as you in the movie.
--
!cat .signature
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: caz@owlnet.rice.edu (HWRNMNBSOL)
Subject: Re: Rictus Hep, P.I. (Continue Or Die)
Organization: Rice University
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 07:22:57 GMT

In article <C0DvCD.100@phage.cshl.org>, boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell) writes:
|> In article <C0D9rA.L8v@rice.edu> caz@owlnet.rice.edu (HWRNMNBSOL) writes:
|> >I was just settling down for a little nap, having burrowed deep into the
|> >cool mud at the banks of Lake Victoria, when SHE walked in.......
|> >HWRNMNBSOL
|> 
|> She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton back in 1969, she had legs that
|> never ended, I was halfway paralyzed.
|> 
|> I shut off the stereo and looked at her. A short stubbly mustachioed
|> grandmother with a piece at her side and a set of crooked black teeth
|> to take care of anything that got past it. 
|> 
|> "What brings you to me, ma'am?"
|> 
|> "A cab." She took a seat, took out her gun and began wiping it with
|> my Kleenex. "My daughter's missing. I need your help."
|> 
|> I showed her the surgical scars.

"Never mind," she said.  "You need my help."  She descended on me with the
garden shears....

Much later, we were smoking smokeless tobacco in one of my favorite dives,
The Greasy Fist.  The bartender's a friend, who told two friends, and they
told two friends, and so on, and so on.......I looked at her over my shot
of Clearasil and gave her a little toast: "To you, Granny."  Her frown
told me I had been fresh, but the teeth were speaking the language of
love.  It took me fifteen minutes to shut them up and get them to talk
about this missing daughter.

"Well, she's five -- that's thirty-five to you and me -- she has big
floppy ears, a wet nose, and she's been spayed."

I lit up another Skoal.  "Doesn't sound like any daughter I've ever heard
of.  Sure she's not some kind of house pet?"

Her hairy upper lip quivered, and she burst into tears, requiring a full
roll of paper towels to wipe up.  "I haven't been honest with you, Rictus:
my dog's gone missing, and I didn't know who to turn to!  Oh, you're too
much the detective to be fooled by me!"

I was miffed.  If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a client who won't
tell you all the facts.  Besides, I had been thinking 'cat'.
-- 
HWRNMNBSOL
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ag786@yfn.ysu.edu (Barry Bouwsma)
Subject: Re: Short Shameful Confession
Reply-To: /dev/null
Organization: Not really, sir.
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 08:00:52 GMT


In a previous article, rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu (robert vacca, who isn't)
says:

>	    [Send e-mail replies to... aw, heck with it.]

                      Did.

Bounced.
-- 


no.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy)
Subject: Re: Description of the Fetal Remains from an Abortion 
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 93 06:07:46 GMT

In article <1993Jan12.022749.22250@netcom.com> cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton) writes:
>Doug Holtsinger (dsholtsi@csl36h.csl.ncsu.edu) wrote:
>:   "It was easy to shrug off an aborted pregnancy as nothing more than
>:    a sack of blood and globs of tissue--
>:    ... an eleven-week POC harbored tiny arms and legs
>:    and feet with toes.  At twelve weeks, those tiny hands had tiny
>:    nails.  ... pieces of face--a nose
>
>  So, did anybody besides me get hungry while reading this?  Just curious.
>
>  Oh, and Doug, that was better than the average post to t.b., but I've
>luck, die rat bastard, hugs and kisses, go jump in a volcano, and all that.
>
i'm personally starving to death again just because i read this for the
second time. last time it took a whole chicked, three baked potatoes, two
slices of bread and four glasses of orange juice to fill me up. hope it's
not so bad this time, this could get expensive.
--
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: A Jungian Interpretation of Archie Andrews
Date: 6 Jan 93 12:40:35 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <1993Jan5.180207.27681@walter.cray.com>, jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll) writes:
> 
> In article <gj156879.726269832@cunews>, gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879) writes:
>> Archie: central ego.
>> Betty: positive anima.
>> Veronica: negative anima.
>> Jughead: trickster.
>> Reggie: the shadow.
>> Big Ethel: stupid female trickster.
>> 
>> So who the hell is Mr Wetherbee?
> 
> Mr. Wetherbee is the collective subconscious.

No no no. There is no such thing as the "subconscious". Freud refers
only to the preconscious, the conscious and the unconscious as explanation
for human psycho-behaviour.
Please, when you write followups in future will you ensure that
you have read and memorised all the apposite texts.

Mr Wetherbee is, of course, the insect on the "Honey Nut Loops" breakfast
cereal advertisement.

Thank you so very much.

Jason
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk
Subject: Re: no joke
Reply-To: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 93 21:28:41 GMT

Thankyou, Zaphod, for posting to tell me that I had put 52 blank lines in
my 'no joke' posting.

You counted them. You are therefore Newbie of the Year.
Don't you have anything better to do than count empty lines?

L.
:wq
bugger this isn't vi
. 
bugger this isn't mailx
^Y^D^G^Djhkjkjkj
bugger what editor is this?
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,misc.jobs.offered,misc.test,rec.humor,rec.pets
From: megm@sco.COM (Meg McRoberts)
Subject: Re: INTERESTING RABBIT FACT #1
Organization: The Santa Cruz Operation, Inc.
Date: Fri, 08 Jan 1993 07:53:44 GMT
Keywords: slaughter all rodents


In article <1993Jan8.014729.3970@ncar.ucar.edu> shawn@thor.atd.ucar.edu (Shawn Copeland) writes:
==> In regard to the keywords, I have to point out that rabbits are not rodents.
==> 
==> They're lagomorphs.
==> 
==> So are pikas.
==> 
==> And you can't imagine how long I've been waiting for an opportunity to
==> tell someone that.

sure i can.  and to continue in this vein,
the etymology of "lagomorph" is the greek
word, lagos, meaning rabbit.  the greek word
for word is logos, and Rasta's father once
suggested that the similarities in the two
words reflects the fact that the rabbit always
has the last word!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: INTERNATIONAL FAT.BOB (FDT.BOI and FIT.BOF)
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 00:42:18 GMT


I WILL BE IN ISRAEL FROM FEB 28 TO APR 30.  

The First Israeli Talk.Bizarre Outdoor Falafel-a-thon 
will be during my last week there or so.

I WILL BE IN DENMARK FROM APR 30 TO MAY 1.

The First Dannish Talk.Bizarre Outdoor Ice-a-thon
will be on April 30th.

WERE I TO GO TO ENGLAND, I'D SUGGEST A BOILED-CABBAGE-A-THON.


carasso,
net.social-coordinator

...
...

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: Stupid Marketing Tricks
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 16:33:13 GMT

In <1993Jan7.205651.21979@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>In article <76212@apple.apple.COM> bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre) writes:
>>Crystal Pepsi was underwriting First Night in Boston.
>>So check this out:
>>   NO caffeine
>>   NO sugar
>>   NO caramel coloring
>I love it, tho i am distressed to see the no caffeine no sugar nazis
>rear their ugly heads again

I am quite pleased to see them back again.  Once they have completed
their marketing push, and the masses become completely listless and inert
due to caffeine deprivation, we can RISE UP and RULE THE WORLD!  Now,
witness the power of a FULLY OPERATIONAL espresso machine!
From: cj@eno.esd.sgi.com.esd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Miracles of modern medicine
Date: 5 Jan 93 23:59:50 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com
Organization: SGI TechPubs


In article <schnitzi.726274148@eola.cs.ucf.edu>, schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu writes:
|Well, now I've done it.  I've gone and taken a Cepastat lozenge when my
|throat was only a little sore.  It improved it to the point where I can now
|speak five languages fluently.  The trouble is, I don't understand what I'm
|saying.

Yes.  I took Robitussin DM "cough suppressant & expectorant"
yesterday, and felt exactly this way.  If only the room would
stop swaying around like that, I thought, everything would all
seem so clear.  

And no, I didn't Robo and guzzle the whole bottle.  I took
two teaspoons as directed.  The bottle had no warnings against
driving while woozy.

---
cj
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: awells@lynx.dac.northeastern.edu (Andrew V. Wells)
Subject: Re: Two Churchillian quotes (how big is the Internet?)
Summary: here's another churchhell quote for u
Organization: Northeastern University
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 23:07:12 GMT

> In a previous article, Kenneth_Freeman@f212.n202.z1.fidonet.org () says:
> 
> >* In a message originally to All, Derek Andrew,,, said:
> >DA>	The sun never sets on the Internet.
> >
> >DA>			- Winston Churchill
> >
> >DA>	There will always be an Internet.
> >
> >DA>			- Winston Churchill
> >
> > 
> >Churchill also said "The empires of the future are the empires
> >of the mind," so which I can only add "...and the Internet is
> >but one of their glorious vehicles." He also met Turing.
> 

Church-hell also sez:

"We should not be squeamish about using poison gas against
 uncivilized tribesmen.." [who refused to pay taxes to
the british crown.]

nice guy, eh?

                               andy wells
                     awells@lynx.dac.northeastern.edu

              /     /        /      /               /       /       /        
         *   *    **        *     **          *    *      **      **
        * *  *  *   *    *   *  *   *      *   * *  *   *   *   *   *      *
   *    *   **  * _**  *    *   * _**      *    *   *   * _**    *       *
 *      *   **  *   *   ***     *   *      *        *   *   *  *  *    *
             *      *               *               *       *    * 
             *      *               *               *       *    |         


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mrx@sgi.com (cloaking the constant k)
Subject: Re: Christmas Memories
Organization: the theory that jack built
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 93 18:16:44 GMT

larne@canetoad.UUCP (Larne Pekowsky) writes:

>I made hummus for casa canetoad's New Year's party.

>It came out rock solid, and a slightly unpleasant shade of green. 

>Mr x scooped some into a flask, saying he was looking for a substance with
>exactly this binding energy for a project he's working on.


bombard it with muons, and you won't
believe the results.  we're sealing
the lab off with lead and concrete
reinforcement as i write.

and, by the way, i must add that the 
canetoads in every way live up to their
reputation of being the koolest t.b'ers
on the planet.  my only wish is that i 
could have gotten more complete cytologic 
samples.

		
		mr x

		one must make do