Newsgroups: soc.motss
From: devesh@bombay.oracle.com (A Rice Queen)
Subject: Re: race based fetishes
Reply-To: devesh@bombay.oracle.com
Organization: Oracle Corp., Redwood Shores CA
Distribution: ba
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 22:10:57 GMT
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by an unauthenticated user
              at Oracle Corporation.  The opinions expressed are those
              of the user and not necessarily those of Oracle.


Hi all,

As someone with what other ppl would call a fetish towards a particular
race, here are my 0.02 worth on why I think it is not always racist to 
date/post personal ads asking for a specific group.

Everybody is attracted by some features, physical or otherwise, towards
others. Let us concentrate on the physical aspects first. Some men find
hairy chests to be a turn-on, others blue eyes etc. I personally find
smooth skin, dark straight hair, dark eyes, high cheeks, lack of facial hair, 
etc to be most attractive, and since *most*
East Asians satisfy these criteria, and conversely *most* ppl who satisfy these
criteria are East Asians, I concentrate my attention on East
Asians. If I were to post a personal ad, I would probably post something
like "GAMs have a better chance" because it would reduce my search space to ppl
I find attractive physically. Of course if there are ppl of other races who
also satisfy these physical characteristics, I will be more than happy 
to hear from them too :)

That said, another other aspect is cultural. I also date East Asians because 
I find them to be culturally closer to my upbringing and hence can 
relate more to them. Of course this does not mean that I have shut myself
out to say American culture. I appreciate the differences and am always
willing to learn more and get more familiar with more diverse cultures.

Of course this does not mean that I will blindly go for any East Asian 
just because he is East Asian. I will also see if we have things in common, 
whether I like his personality, etc. So why not go for anybody who is 
compatible personality-wise? I tried that, but found that my lust for
ppl "my physical type" was too distracting. What could be more perfect than
falling in love with somebody who has a great personality and is also 
physically your type?  

Also I think that say a GWM who is looking for GAMs only (for a relationship,
as opposed to sex only) can hardly be called racist as he is going for a race
other than his own and is expanding his horizons. Perhaps a 
GI(ndian)M looking for another GIM maybe construed racist, but even
that depends on the individual case, and he may be looking for a GIM
because he is culturally more comfortable in having a GIM as a life-mate. 

So, to conclude, while some of the GWM-see-GAM (or any other permutation)
maybe racist, not all are, and it needs to be considered on a case-by-case
basis rather than generalizing and categorizing all such ppl as being racist.

Regards,
Devesh

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