HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude)
Subject: Re: How long does it take *you* to make love ... ?
Organization: None, today. Thank you.
Date: Thu, 6 Aug 1992 15:18:30 GMT

>Just a generic question open to interpretation in a variety of ways.

Yep, and in _*MY*_ interpretation, I haven't quit since I met my 
wife, which has been 5 years. I guess it takes me till one of us
dies...   

-- 
Puter	puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com	.sig by Generic Labels
(Put obnoxious title here)		(Put phone # here.)
(Put irritating quote here. Please make it as long as possible.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson)
Subject: Re: fantasies
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 19 Aug 92 08:56:02 CDT

In article <1992Aug18.232626.1@acad3.alaska.edu>, fsjm1@acad3.alaska.edu writes:
|> Just because you asked . . .
|> I would like to make love
|> on the hood of a car
|> at outside
|> at night
|> in a ragin' thunder and lightning storm
|>  
oooohh...that's the best one yet!

c

+===============================================================+
Christine Nelson           Going out of my mind...   
nelson@eastrg1                     ...back in 5 minutes.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: Is there a *good* way to say LJBF?
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 92 20:33:25 GMT

In article <1992Aug13.183928.23269@mlb.semi.harris.com> therrien@harris.mlb.semi.harris.com (Patty Therrien) writes:
>I've been following the LJBF thread for a while now, although I have not
>read every post in its entirety.  But something seems to be missing, and
>it has to do with a problem I have encountered personally.
>
>Is there a *good* way to say to someone, "Let's just be friends"?
>
>I have a friend who has indicated a romantic interest in me.  What is 
>the best way to tell him that I value his friendship, but do not return
>his feelings?  He is very shy, and doesn't have a lot of self-confidence,
>so I don't want to do or say anything to wipe out the progress he has
>been making recently.
>
I am afraid there is no good way to say this. If someone has sincerely
expressed an interest in romance, they are going to be disappointed
when they are told no. This you have no control over, and if you
remember that, it should be easier to understand the situation
and avoid making it worse than it has to be.

If the following have happened:
   -- you think he believes that you know that he is interested,
   -- you have had time to respond positively, and didn't,
   -- he continues to show an interest in you,
and you are sure you are not interested in him, then it would be 
best to tell him. If not, you might want to wait to give both of
you a chance to express yourselves indirectly. It probably won't save
you from the dread LJBF, but it might help him feel better about
himself.

I think that being honest and straightfoward is best.
I also think there are some pitfalls to avoid. 

Since you are worried about his lack of self-confidence, be sure
to avoid treating his expressing an interest in you as inappropriate
behavior. This would be sending a message that he is not good enough
for you.

Avoid using excuses: you are not interested in him romantically and
that is that. It may be tempting to play on his sympathies to make
him understand, but I think it is best to treat the fact that you
are not interested in him romantically as a fact, and leave it at 
that. If you give other reasons (I can't get involved now
because...), he is likely to take them literally. Then, depending on
the nature of the reason you gave, he will either try to fix the
'problem', or will go through some pain later when he decides the
reason was an excuse. 

Excessive sympathy: if you try too hard to be sympathetic with his
pain, you can make things worse. You will be sending a message 
along the lines of 'you cannot be my lover, but as long as you
continue to act dependently like a child, I will love you as a
child'. You would be rewarding him for lowering his self esteem.


Good Luck,
Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: fantasies
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 17:52:04 GMT

Dawn Bott (ae498@yfn.ysu.edu) wrote:

: I have to agree that being in the wild outdoors is possibly
: the most exciting place to make love....
: 
: but instead of the thunder and lightning....
: 
: I kinda like the idea of a being out in a snow storm...

Brrrrr.....!
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG     erc@apple.com                801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: kjell@elixir.e.kth.se (Kjell Rilbe)
Subject: Re: How often do women do it?? (Propose, that is)
Organization: Dept. of EE, Royal Institute of Technology, Stockholm, Sweden
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 14:56:29 GMT

In article <aland.713645205@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> aland@cs.brandeis.edu writes:
>kjell@elixir.e.kth.se (Kjell Rilbe) writes:
>
>>So, Amy and Alan, when are you getting married?
>>I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants a happy end to this!
>>Let's hear it!
>
>>;-) ;-) ;-)
>
>You want this to end?  The most up-beat thread I've seen in quite some
>time?  Well, *PHTHTPHTPHT* to you, then. ;)
>
>And that's all I'm going to say right now...
>
>	-=Alan

Yes, I realized that I didn't quite get it the way I intended. But by
the time I did, I had allready posted it. I'm very Sorry.

But you know, I'm not an English-speaking person, I'm Swedish, and not
that very used to formulating my thoughts in English. 

Of course I don't want it to end. What I meant was I want to see what
will come out of this thread. Please, please, please, don't let it end!!!

I'm so very very sorry if I upset you or anyone else.

/Kjell Rilbe
From: caldwem@jacobs.CS.ORST.EDU (Twiggs)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: What is LOVE ?
Date: 19 Aug 92 17:36:56 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Outreach Services - Oregon State University


You ask what love is? Oh Love is walking hand and hand,
Sitting in a park watching baby ducks, Shareing a ice cream 
cone. Love is a warm feeling you get when you open the mail box,
and a letter has come from accross the sea. I know is is from 
Michael my bf. And knowing that is thinking of me when we are,
apart gives me such a warm feeling I know it is Love. And i smile,
It has been some months that we were together but i know we share 
such strong love, I only need to think of the days we had together
And i feel his love. We have a strong and careing love it is wonderful.

I can hear a song and think of our time together or even eat and ice cream
look at the moon over my house and know that he looks at the same moon,
and stars, And we once walked together holding each other and we will
again. Love is called fireworks sometimes in the movies and I think that
is a good way to think of Love it feels so good to know you are loved 
and that you love someone.
Michael and I have been together 5 months and i feel there will be a life
time of warm and happy days, hope this has helped like the songs says
"Love is a wonderful thing"  

   Mary
From: wanless@mcl.ucsb.edu (Paul Wanless)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: WHAT IS LJBF???????!!!!!!
Date: 13 Aug 92 15:39:40 GMT

In <12AUG199213541754@venus.lerc.nasa.gov> edsum02@venus.lerc.nasa.gov (Doug Darling) writes:


>Hello all,

>I'm new to the net and I would like to ask a.r a very important question.
>At the risk of sounding stupid could someone please tell be what LJBF means?

>Please e-mail me at edsum02@venus.lerc.nasa.gov. Thanx in advance :)


LJBF = Let's Just Be Friends...the usual line, you know...

--
************Paul Wanless "vangy"******************

"GO SYNTHESIZE A COMPOUND"
From: jlewis@astro.as.arizona.edu (Jeff Lewis)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: RE: LJBF and Happiness
Date: 21 Aug 92 15:59:57 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ

In articles <1992Aug17.182327.16695@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu> <1992Aug20.065835.24937@rniwi.rni.sub.org>
weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes
>
>[...]
>>...but I am the most
>>content when I can make someone else happy...is this being romatic
>>or just plain stupid?
>
>Hi Jeff,
>I think it's both. I feel similar and think that - yes - it's romantic.
>Or so people told me. But it's also stupid, if you're being exploited
>without noticing it. Or...
>
>Love is when you start treating the other persons well-being as if it
>was your own.
I like this...it sums things up very nicely...

>>Well, who said being in love, loving, or being romantic makes sense
>>or can be rationally explained :-} ?
>>
>I don't think that love is just irrational -- but when under
>strong emotions, you get less rational. Some people think
>self-sacrifice is irrational, but this is circular logic:
>I must be self-serving -> I must not be self-sacrificing
>-> being self-sacrificing is irrational -> I must be self-serving.

I agree with this 100 percent - it seems at times I loose all capacity
for rational action.  I have found myself doing and saying things
I thought I never would..somehow though the embarssement factor is
very low..either I am becoming more self confident..or I am in Love or
I _AM_ making a fool of myself :-}

>I think most everyone appreciates it. It is just that most people can't
>graciously accept unless they really trust you, and are feeling very
>secure.

I think so to...its not easy to convince a potential lover that you do
not have some hidden agenda..it just takes time.

Jeff
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ben@media.mit.edu (Benjamin Kline Lowengard)
Subject: What is Love (cont'd)
Organization: MIT Media Laboratory
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 16:03:21 GMT

Hey, I've been reading this group for a couple of days
(I'm healing a new wound and it helps to hear about the "adventures"
of other relationships)
and thought I'd pass this along

aside from my own motto "To be noble in times of defeat,to be humble in times
of honor" which expresses how I keep my head sane in this insane world;

I really like this poem:


              A White Rose

The red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathes of love;
O,the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.

But I send you a cream-white rosebud,
With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips.

-John Boyle O'Reilly
1844-1890

---
benj-of the USA
(that's a tip to benj from oz)

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: daw@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (Dave Webb)
Subject: PLEASE HELP!  Info on florists in New York City WANTED!! Please?
Organization: HAC - Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 14:10:17 GMT

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could help me out?  I need some names and phone
numbers of florists in New York City (Manhatten).  I'm dating a girl who works
in Manhatten and wanted to send her some roses for her birthday.  I've sent
them from here (Baltimore) and they were a little expensive to be sending 
all the time.  I'd like to send her flowers every once in a while besides on
her birthday.  Could someone PLEASE provide me with a list of decent florists
in the Manhatten area?  I'd also be real interested in Baloons over America or
such places like that as well.  Should it be cheaper to send flowers directly 
from New York instead of here in Baltimore?  I'll be looking to hear from you.
	
					Thanx,
						Dave
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: COMPUTER RELATIONSHIPS
Date: 20 Aug 92 21:13:05 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

Here is my 0.02 about long-distance net.relationships:

Every time I have invited a net.romantic-interest out to meet me, or have
gone to meet such a person, I ended up wishing that I had also scheduled
other things to do and other people to see during the time that this person
and I were together. I always gave in to the temptation to spend all my
time getting to know the person, and then wished that I hadn't because
either *we didn't get along at all the way we expected to, or *we got sick
of each other, which partly spoiled the good times we did have together.


Stef                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
stef@apple.com       It is the time you have wasted for your rose
                     that makes your rose so important.       Saint-Exupery
                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: eda537esys@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au
Subject: Re: What is LOVE ?y
Organization: Computer Centre, Monash University, Australia
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 02:44:32 GMT


In article <1992Aug17.234809.15524@ucunix.san.uc.edu>, ankolamb@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Guess Who ?) writes:
> 
> Just a question....
> 
> What is LOVE ??
> 
> -MA

   -It is what i am feeling right at the moment...(as well as frustration and
confusion)
    and i can honestly say that.............


   But if u ask me to put it into words then i cant explain it ... it 
   is to complicated a feeling to explain..

   Im sorry if people think that this answer is corny but its the truth

Ash
eda772dsft@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au or
ricochet@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au or
enc443v@monu1.cc.monash.edu.au
From: therrien@harris.mlb.semi.harris.com (Patty Therrien)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Is there a *good* way to say LJBF?
Date: 13 Aug 92 18:39:28 GMT
Organization: Harris Semiconductor, Melbourne FL

I've been following the LJBF thread for a while now, although I have not
read every post in its entirety.  But something seems to be missing, and
it has to do with a problem I have encountered personally.

Is there a *good* way to say to someone, "Let's just be friends"?

I have a friend who has indicated a romantic interest in me.  What is 
the best way to tell him that I value his friendship, but do not return
his feelings?  He is very shy, and doesn't have a lot of self-confidence,
so I don't want to do or say anything to wipe out the progress he has
been making recently.

Suggestions?  Thanks.


-- 
Patricia Therrien (Patty)	 |Internet therrien@harris.mlb.semi.harris.com
		    "Some folks see a bird's eye view  
   			  Others haven't got a clue" 
******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jcr@mbunix.mitre.org (Rogers)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Make the move?
Date: 14 Aug 92 16:47:50 GMT
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, Bedford, MA

jpalmer@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (John D Palmer) writes:

>> dreamer@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu (David Caruso II ~~~) writes:
>>
>> ... how would you react if this waiter called you and asked you for lunch?
>
>
> I, personally, would be upset.  I value my privacy pretty highly, and
> someone using this type of means to track me down would make me angry.

Nonsense! If you don't want to be "tracked down" in this way then you
should remove your name from the phone book and pay for everything in
cash. She did neither, and I think it would be over-cautious to assume
she'd share your (somewhat paranoid) attitude.

If someone (say, an attractive waitress) "tracked me down" in this way
I'd be flattered. Ever see "Frankie & Johnnie"? However, I might also
be a bit cautious, depending on precisely what had occurred in the
restaurant, so....

> I would wait and hope she came back in again and ask her out in person.

may be a better approach. If she doesn't show after a while, then (maybe)
call her.

Good Luck,
          -- Jeff R.
From: ccaajmf@ucl.ac.uk (John Franks)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: fantasies & Re: What is LOVE ???
Date: 20 Aug 92 11:03:14 GMT
Organization: Bloomsbury Computing Consortium, London

My love, we will go, we will go, I and you,
And away in the woods we will scatter the dew,
And the salmon behold, and the ousel too;
My love we will hear, I and you, we will hear,
The calling afar of the doe and the deer,
And the bird in the branches will cry for us clear,
And the cuckoo, unseen in his festival mood;
And death, oh my fair one, shall never come near,
In the bosom afar of the fragrant wood.
    
    - W. B. Yeats (from the gaelic)



Sorry about the punctuation - haven't got a printed copy here.

John.

John Franks, ccaajmf@ucl.ac.uk or jmf14@phx.cam.ac.uk to readers in Cambridge.
     "And a thousand slimy things
      Lived on; and so did I."  
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: edsum02@venus.lerc.nasa.gov (Doug Darling)
Subject: WHAT IS LJBF???????!!!!!!
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center
Date: 12 Aug 1992 13:54 EDT  


Hello all,

I'm new to the net and I would like to ask a.r a very important question.
At the risk of sounding stupid could someone please tell be what LJBF means?

Please e-mail me at edsum02@venus.lerc.nasa.gov. Thanx in advance :)
From: tedwards@src.umd.edu (Thomas Grant Edwards)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Vacation..all i ever wanted...
Date: 17 Aug 92 05:03:55 GMT
Organization: Systems Research Center, Maryversity of Uniland, College Park

In article <1992Aug14.000748.7563@odin.corp.sgi.com> lana@magenta.corp.sgi.com (Lana Mountford) writes:
>In article <1992Aug13.213907.21438@news.ysu.edu>, ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott) writes:
>|> Where is the most romantic place in the world?  

My favorite fantasy is sailing from island to island in the Aegean Sea.
Of course, I'd have to invest $1K in sunblock...

-Thomas
 resident technoshaman
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: huesmann@wam.umd.edu (Joseph Edward Huesmann)
Subject: Reverse LJBF problem
Originator: huesmann@rac2.wam.umd.edu
Organization: University of Maryland at College Park
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 04:23:35 GMT

I have a question for all of you experts. I've fallen for this young woman,
and I asked her out to dinner, but she declined because she has a boyfriend (I
guess I should have realized that someone like her would have one). Now
that I realize that a romantic relationship isn't possible, at least
while she's seeing someone else, I'd like to try to become friends with her,
because she's really a nice person. The problem is that I don't know how
to try this without having her think I'm still trying to have a romantic
relationship with her. I do still love her, but I think that my feelings can
become tempered enough for a friendly relationship. Perhaps I made a
mistake in falling for her instead of making friends with her...

Any ideas out there? Thanks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|  huesmann@wam.umd.edu     "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all   |
|  Joseph E. Huesmann        the world, she walks into mine!"                |
|                                              -- Rick Blaine, "Casablanca"  |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: p00056@mail.psi.net (Faustus)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Wedding ceremony music suggestions?
Date: 16 Aug 92 03:54:33 GMT
Organization: Inferno
X-Mailer: PSILink (3.01)

>DATE:   Sat, 15 Aug 92 17:46:23 GMT
>FROM:   Rich Szabo <ac220@cleveland.Freenet.Edu>
>
>Anyone have some suggestions for good wedding ceremony music?
>I would like to solicit your ideas.  The ceremony is a Catholic
>mass and I am slated to appear as the groom.  Please post
>suggestions here or e-mail to ac220@cleveland.freenet.edu.
>Thanks!
>Rich Szabo
> 

I've sung for churchs (wedding, funerals and regular services) and usually
try to stay away from the in chic pop tunes..try to the classical approach.

Ave Maria (Gounod or Schubert), Because (d'Hardelot), Lords Prayer (Malotte),
Ombra Mai Fu (Xerxes: Handel)

If you need to find a singer try the Bel Canto foundation, Ill see if I can
find a number in your area if you wish...

Faustus
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Touch, is it important
From: kmargelot@eagle.wesleyan.edu
Date: 17 Aug 92 21:28:44 EDT
Organization: Wesleyan University

In article <1992Aug13.213642.1@eagle.wesleyan.edu>, dayrton@eagle.wesleyan.edu writes:
> In article <12463@ecs.soton.ac.uk>, lm89@ecs.soton.ac.uk (McIlhoney L) writes:
>> 
>> I just wanted to say:
>> 
>> An argument with an SO is not truly over until you can touch again!
>> (Having just realised this was when my last argument ended!)
>> 
> 
> Which explains why mine wouldn't let me touch her before she drove off into 
> the moonlight last night...
> 
  Ah yes, but it also explains why she melted into your arms later on, too....
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Lopsided Beginnings
Date: 17 Aug 92 18:34:52 GMT
Reply-To: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Organization: BNR Europe Limited, London Road, Harlow, Essex, GB

In the referenced article jcr@mbunix.mitre.org (Rogers) writes:
><ICSAA@ASUACAD.BITNET> writes:
>
>> ...I had known him for about 5 months, and wouldn't have
>> DREAMED of wanting to go out with him.  I was actually
>> rather negative about even entertaining the idea .... 
>> But, ...  it's worked out wonderfully.
>
>These situations seem to crop up fairly often, where one party
>in a now-successful relationship professes to initially have
>felt absolutely no attraction for their partner, or even to
>have felt repulsion. (Far as I can tell, the initially-unattracted
>one is more often the woman.) Then, "somehow," things changed.
>
>-- Jeff R.

I agree with Jeff's observation. Is it simply down to men depending more
upon appearance in choosing partners and therefore more rarely going back
on their first (visual) impressions; whereas women, who depend less on
that first visual impression, are more likely to grow to like a person as
they get to know them over time (all other factors constant)?

Could make a humble man feel quite bad about choosing against such a
superficial metric! :-/

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: stefan@spc.nl (Stefan Posthuma)
Subject: Re: fantasies 
Organization: SPC Company BV, The Netherlands
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 10:44:26 GMT

nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson) writes:

>what are some of your favourite fantasies?  (ie. unusual places 
>for making love, particular scenarios, etc...)

My fantasy every day and night is being with my love who is some 8,000 miles
away from me (give or take a few) and it'll be four months before I see her
again....
The mere thought of just being able to hold her again send shivers down my
spine.

LDR's can be hard, I can tell you...
-- 
"We convoke the Nephilim and they come  {*}  Stefan Posthuma,  SPC Company
to us, strangers with the eyes of men."  |   stefan@spc.nl
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: szabo@techbook.com (Nick Szabo)
Subject: Re: Love at first sight?
Organization: TECHbooks --- Public Access UNIX --- (503) 644-8135
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 11:24:33 GMT

In article <1992Aug12.194248.12119@cs.joensuu.fi> asiivo@cs.joensuu.fi (Antti Siivonen) writes:
>	Our love (me and April) started at zero sight, when we started to have
>	an email conversation and then continued by telephone and letters. Now 
>	we're happily engaged and we haven't ever met. 

Isn't this going a rather too far?  Can you really make that sort of
commitment via electrons?

(Or perhaps engagement is not much of a commitment any more?)


-- 
szabo@techbook.COM  Public Access User --- Not affiliated with TECHbooks
Public Access UNIX and Internet at (503) 644-8135 (1200/2400, N81) 
Newsgroups: alt.romance