HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: amorgan@csd-d-1.Stanford.EDU (Crunchy Frog)
Subject: Re: THE BEST DAMNED JOKES EVER!!!
Originator: amorgan@csd-d-1.Stanford.EDU
Organization: /usr/lib/news/organizatoin
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 20:51:04 GMT

In article <1992Oct2.141249.740@altair.selu.edu> 
  pasc1961@altair.selu.edu writes:

>31.  Crunchy Frog (amorgan@Xenon.Stanford.edu)

Ohh, I'm touched.

>	Folks, I know that this is rec.humor but some things just have to be
>	said.  

THEN SAY THEM ON A POLITICS NEWSGROUP.  This may be too much for your
tiny brain to handle but this newsgroup is for humor.  D o   y o u
u n d e r s t a n d ?

Go away until you can post something that makes people laugh.

ObJoke:

	Who can turn a frog, into a froge?
	Who can turn a bog, into a boge?
	It's just as easy as can be
	If you just add silent 'e'.

	It turns a ham (alakazam) into a hame.
	It turns a spam into a spame.
	See how much better things will be
	If you always add silent 'e'.

	It turns a flat, into a flate;
	And potato is potatoe, ain't that great?
	It's just simplicity
	For Dan Quayle's friend silent 'e'.

	Wordse bye Crunchye Froge
	Musice bye Tome Lehrere
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rlink@cedar.hao.ucar.edu (Richard Link)
Subject: Re: Irish Joke
Organization: High Alititude Observatory/NCAR, Boulder CO
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 15:31:59 GMT

In article <1053@emoryu1.cc.emory.edu> cobe101@emory.edu (Christopher C. Chung) writes:
>
>What do you call an Irish after ten beers?
>
>Sober.

What's the definition of an Irish 7-course meal?


A six-pack and a potato(e).
                        ^
                        |___ optional for Republicans.
From: naveen@Autodesk.COM (Naveen Chandra)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: true
Date: 29 Sep 92 20:20:24 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Autodesk Inc., Sausalito CA, USA



   The Following statement is True.



  



   The preceding statement was False.

 
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
From: barr@pop.psu.edu (David Barr)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: Penn State Population Research Institute
Date: Sat, 03 Oct 92 18:50:12 GMT

In article <1992Oct3.182103.25549@netcom.com> payner@netcom.com (Rich Payne) writes:
>In article <7mD3RB1w165w@bluemoon.rn.com> shc@bluemoon.rn.com (n shane chambers) writes:
>
>[...]
>>
>>heres some thing to think about...
>>
>>        At AT&T Bell Labs, Columbus, there is a SUN SPARK lab, with a 

That's "SPARC"

>>laser printer in it.  On the printer is a SUN logo, but if you take it 
>>off, you find it to be ....guess what.....APPLE!
>
>Yeah, I keep a bunch of these things running. Sun now has their own
>printer BTW, but the SparcPrinter (I think) requires an SBUS slot and
>it will bog down the older Sparcs, works OK with a SS2 though.

Sun's "own printer" is actually manufactured by Xerox.  The SBus
is for a card that talks to the printer via a video interface.
 
>>....hmm, maybe thats why they can`t get it to talk to the network any 
>>more?
>
>This has me confused, the Apple printers are dumb, they know naught of
>the network. We hook then to the serial ports of the printserver. If
>they do not work, then Newsprint is hosed, or whatever.

Newsprint is for SPARCPrinters only.  Apple printers are not dumb.
Apple printers have their own PostScript driver.  It's SPARCPrinters
that are dumb.  They are useless without Newsprint to drive them.
(Much like NeXT's printers without a NeXT to drive it)

--Dave
-- 
System Administrator, Population Research Institute    barr@pop.psu.edu
  "An analogy is like instant coffee: it can wake you up, but it's
  not the real thing"  -- Peter da Silva
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jowmoore@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (John W. Moore )
Subject: Star Wars Drinking Games?
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 21:58:30 GMT


Could somebody send me a Star Wars drinking game, or tell me where I
could find one?  (Empire Strikes Back & Return of the Jedi, too!)

Thanks!

John Moore
jowmoore@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
From: tripunit@algol.cs.psu.edu (Mahesh V Tripunitara)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Bald jokes et al
Date: 30 Sep 92 22:01:49 GMT
Article-I.D.: cs.BvEvv1.L8A
Organization: Penn State Computer Science

I am taking a break, so here goes...( I am NOT a newbie by the way ) 

There are 2 big disadvantages with being bald :

1. You can't cover your ears if they don't match

2. If you scratch a hairy head, you're thinking. If you scratch a bald
   head, you're making a fool of yourselves.

And why did the chicken cross the road ?
To turn the Zebra-crossing into a chicken-crossing of course!

And what do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in dirt
& crosses back ?
Ans. : Send me email if you don't know & I'll tell you...

alright, alright...enough already!!
Xref: sparky rec.humor:30567 talk.politics.misc:49888
From: z_ottesonj@ccsvax.sfasu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor,talk.politics.misc
Subject: Re: Clinton doesn't understand business (was: A SAD JOKE!)
Date: 6 Oct 92 21:39:19 CST
Distribution: usa
Organization: Stephen F. Austin State University

In article <BvE9vA.DEI@apollo.hp.com>, nelson_p@apollo.hp.com (Peter Nelson) writes:
> In article <4f1-6R=@engin.umich.edu> jwh@citi.umich.edu writes:
> 
>>There's no doubt about it, Bush is sailing without a compass as far
>>as domestic policy is concerned.  However, at least he hasn't proposed
>>taxes on job creation like Clinton.  Clinton claims his plan will
>>create jobs, and yet his plan would increase the cost of hiring and
>>maintaining full time employees.  His training tax, pay or play scheme,
>>family leave, etc. all raise the cost of having employees.
> 
>   Right, and the empirical evidence supports Jim Howe's position on
>   this:  those nations which have these policies, e.g., Western
>   Europe, Australia, Canada, etc. have in general much higher
>   unemployment rates than the US.  
> 
>   Look, as I've been saying a lot here, JOBS are going to be THE 
>   issue for the 90's.  Cutting the deficit, while absolutely 
>   necessary will in the short term greatly raise the unemployment
>   rate.  Moreover, US industry has discovered that through effic-
>   iencies and consolidation (another way of gaining efficiency)
>   they generate the same or higher revenues and unit output with
>   fewer people.   Many US industrial companies are bigger and 
>   more profitable today with fewer workers than 5 years ago.
>   This is good from a productivity and cost standpoint but it
>   puts pressure on employment.  So the unemployment rate
>   continues to grow and I predict it will do so more dramatically 
>   in the coming years.  
> 
>   Clinton/Gore just don't "get it": in this economic environment we
>   cannot afford to do things which make it more expensive and less
>   likely for companies to hire people.  
> 
> 
> ---peter
> 
> 
> 
>  clinton doesn't care if the upper middle class get hurt.  All he cares
   about is hurting the upperclass.  But iin reality it is the middle class
   that is that will suffer if clinton is elected
exit
 
>   
> 
> 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: Mother Jokes (Your Momma is so...)
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 06:18:48 GMT

>>>>Does anyone know a bunch of mother jokes such as:
>
>I know your mama, she's a good ol' soul, got a 10 ton pussy and a rubber asshole
>
>Yo' mama's behind is like a rumble seat, hang from her back down to her feet.
>  

I posted this a while ago, but it is my favorite:

Your mother's armpits are so hairy it looks like she has Buckwheat in a 
  headlock.

Ratboy
From: Lloyd_Sumpter@mindlink.bc.ca (Lloyd Sumpter)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: amusing system errors
Date: 30 Sep 92 00:38:22 GMT
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Distribution: world

> Chris_F_Chiesa@cup.portal.com writes:
>
> Msg-ID: <66625@cup.portal.com>
> Posted: Fri, 25 Sep 92 21:01:30 Org.  : The Portal System (TM)
>
> On VMS, the XDELTA operating-system and device-driver debugger utility's
> one and only all-purpose error message is, "Eh?"

   Must be Canadian!

--

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<semi-YAHOO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
                    Lloyd_Sumpter@mindlink.bc.ca
             "Amiga made it - Commodore screwed it up"
From: ahummel@ems.cdc.com (H. Austin Hummel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: just a punchline...
Date: 30 Sep 92 18:50:44 GMT
Reply-To: you@ems.cdc.com
Organization: Empros Systems International, a division of CDC

In article <92274.125004MGW104@psuvm.psu.edu>, MGW104@psuvm.psu.edu (Matt Wright) writes:
|> Maybe someone could come up with a joke for this...
|> 
|>            ...and then the girl says,"Those aren't golf balls!"

Reminds me of Bob Hope live at his Desert Classic Golf Tournament,
to fill some time He interviewed some of the Young Women who were
carring the score displays for each group.

BH asked one "Have you been golfing long?"

She replied, "Oh Yes, very long almost 18 Years."

BH Replied, "Why, I have balls older then that!"

Sinkers from the audience, he then blerts, "Gold Balls!!!!"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect)
Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
Keywords: purple
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 02:28:12 GMT

>>>>Avoid cascades -- end all your lines with ``purple''!
>>>"Bug" won't rhyme, but do you think "burp"'ll?
>>Cant find a rhyme, why not ask Steve Urkle?
>And get him to sing the Yankee Doodle!
Then take a drink from that ole' bottle     (Purple, hah, thought he was smart)
From: skitchen@pilot.njin.net (Not your average USENET junkie...)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: I'd love to but...
Date: 6 Oct 92 00:00:13 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

In article <15898@mindlink.bc.ca> Lloyd_Sumpter@mindlink.bc.ca (Lloyd Sumpter) writes:

>    I used to say "...I have to vacuum the cat", but found out htat people
> actually DO vacuum their cat!
> 

On a somewhat different note, my mother vacuums our Yellow Labrador,
Chip, on a regular basis.  He turns over on his back and loves every
second of it.  Strange dog...but a good beastie nonetheless...

Scott
-- 
Scott Kitchen  |  Net.handsome.lug  |  ICBM: 40.88 N  74.56 W
------------------------------------------------------------------
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
						--Albert Einstein
From: eradm@brahms.Berkeley.EDU (Craig Shergold)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Fanning the Flames of Hate
Date: 30 Sep 92 13:11:12 GMT
Reply-To: eradm@brahms.Berkeley.EDU (Craig Shergold)
Organization: Xerox

In article <1992Sep29.210250.1996@newstand.syr.edu>, hlow@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Handel Low) writes:
> 
>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
I suppose you think we really care!
From: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM (Fil Feit)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: WANTED: Catholic jokes
Date: 29 Sep 92 17:00:56 GMT
Reply-To: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems

A man arrives at the gates of heaven.  St. Peter asks, "Religion?"
The man says, "Episcopalian".  St. Peter looks down his list, and
says, "Go to room 24.  But be very quiet as you pass room 8".

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven.  "Religion"?  "Baptist".
"Go to room 18.  But be very quiet as you pass room 8".

A third man arrives at the gates.  "Religion"?  "Jewish".  "Go to
room 11.  But be very quiet as you pass room 8".  The man says,
"I can understand there being different rooms for different religions,
but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8"?

St. Peter tells him, "Well the Catholics are in room 8, and they think
they're the only ones here".
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Joke
From: sweide@uceng.UC.EDU (Steven Weide)
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 15:41:09 GMT
Organization: University of Cincinnati, Engineering College

In article <1992Sep30.022023.14782@ultb.isc.rit.edu> lmg4767@ritvax.isc.rit.edu writes:
>WHY ARE MEN SO SMART AND WOMEN SO TALKATIVE?
>MEN HAVE TWO HEADS AND WOMEN HAVE TWO SET OF LIPS!
>
>REPLY
>WHY ARE MEN SO SMART AND WOMEN SO TALKATIVE?
>MEN HAVE TWO HEADS AND WOMEN HAVE TWO SET OF LIPS!


THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN A REALLY FUNNY JOKE IF IT WASN'T THERE TWICE.
                                         STEVE
 
P.S.   I COULDN'T QUITE HEAR YOU, COULD YOU SPEAK UP.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jswitzer@afit.af.mil (Chip Switzer)
Subject: Re: Military humor
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 1992 22:52:14 GMT

excalibr@camelot.bradley.edu writes:
>Navy:	A bucket of Prop Wash (could also be applied to the AF)
>	A box of Grid Squares (could also be applied to the Army)
>

Air Force:
 Ten yards of flight line.
 Box of wing nuts.
 Gallon of jet wash.

-- 

Chip Switzer                            "A witty saying proves nothing." 
jswitzer@afit.af.mil                              -- Voltaire
jhsegal
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: A good joke!
From: jhsegal@wiscon.weizmann.ac.il (Livy)
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 16:14:46 GMT
Organization: Weizmann Institute of Science, Computation Center

One day (still) President Bush visited Bagdad (hey,that's fiction,guys!),
so Saddam Hussein shows him how desvolted is the Iraqi economy.Seeing all
kind of things,they arrive to a red button.P. Bush asks what is it,so Hussein
tells him "Press it!".Bush presses it and a hand gets out from the wall and hits
Bush in the face.He gets real mad,and says "I'm going back to Washington",and
returns to USA.
  After a couple of months,Saddam is invited to Washington,to visit it.Again,
they show him all kind of thins,and they arrive to a red button.Hussein asks
what is it,and Bush tells him to press it.Saddam presses it,but nothing
happens.So he gets real mad,and says "I'm going back to Bagdad!!",to which
Bush responds: "There is NO Bagdad!".

HA HA HA.(Got it?He pressed the button...no Bagdad..got it?)

---------------This Was Another L I V Y ' S  Production----------------------

  __     __  __    ___ __     _     ___   __
    |      |   \     /   |     \       \    | VM/CMS:
    |      |    \   /    |    _ \       \   | JHSEGALL @ Weizmann.weizmann.ac.il
    |___   |       /     |    _  \    |  \  | UNIX:
        |  |      /      |   /    \   |     |  JHSEGAL  @ Wiscon.weizmann.ac.il

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jss@kepler.unh.edu (Spectre)
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Organization: University of No Holidays - UNH - East somewhere
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 22:40:44 GMT

In article <1992Sep25.205126.13293@spectrum.xerox.com> eradm@brahms.Berkeley.EDU (Erik Radmall) writes:
>
>A public park near Rexburg, Idaho: Beaver Dick Park (I've actually been there!)
>

	In Avon Colorado, there is a Liquer store that is wonderfully named:

				Beaver Liquers

	Needless to say, they sell tons of T-shirts and koozies.

					-Jeff


-- 
'Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up'
|         Jeff Schreiber               | "The way to ski these things [moguls] |
|       jss@kepler.unh.edu             |  Is to go to total panic..............|
|    j_schreiber@unhh.unh.edu          |  Then....Back off." -Mike Hatrup      |
               My opinions are mine and only mine. I don't care 
               if they are wrong and you can't have them anyway!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Reply-To: davidk@welch.jhu.edu
Organization: Welch Medical Library
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 17:46:46 GMT

In article 039z@myamy.hacktic.nl, Boinger@myamy.hacktic.nl (Paul Kolenbrander) writes:
>In article <1992Sep27.140720.16158@news.columbia.edu> lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:
>> In article <0TuqRB2w165w@quest.UUCP> srhqla!quest!kdq writes:
>> >Boinger@myamy.hacktic.nl (Paul Kolenbrander) writes:
>> >
>> >Yes, it must come as quite a shock for people who are used to having to
>> >hit the reset button every few minutes to realize that most Mac owners
>> >don't know where their power switch is.
>> 
>> Please tell me where the power switch on Mac owners is; there are a number
>> of these people I want to switch off.
>
>There is supposed to be a pushbutton switch located on their chin. The only
>problem is that it needs a lot of power applied to get it to switch. 8^)
>
I think there is a reset switch located in the center of their foreheads.  It
is operated like a Blonde high five to flush out nested and recursive queries.
8)  -= felch@wam.umd.edu =-

Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
From: tpearson@titan.trl.OZ.AU (Trevor Pearson)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: Telecom Research Labs, Melbourne, Australia
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 00:22:15 GMT

andrewb@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Andrew Bevin) writes:
> In article <1992Sep26.000442.3824@darwin.ntu.edu.au> hoffmann@nutmeg.ntu.edu.au (Arthur Hoffmann) writes:
> >In article <1992Sep21.035843.3401@lugb.latrobe.edu.au>, 9124704t@lux.latrobe.edu.au (Paul Veiser) writes:
> >> In article <1992Sep8.075304.5164@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au> brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage) writes:
> >> >
> >> >Shaw's Principle:
> >> >    Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
> >> >    want to use it.
> >> What does that say about Mac users? ;-)
> >> 
> >> Paul Veiser
> >Everything. :)
> 
> You mean a Mac is a computer system? 
> I thought it was just a tool that allowed me to get my work done quickly 
> and easily.
>

I thought an Apple was a fruit and a Macintosh was a raincoat?
 
> 

 *****************************************
 * Trevor Pearson                        *
 * TRL. Clayton, Australia               *  
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.arts.movies
From: terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b)
Subject: Re: Mixed Up Movie Titles
Posting-Front-End: Winix Conference v 92.05.15  1.20 (running under MS-Windows)
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 1992 15:12:43 GMT

In article <1992Sep22.061822.10075@noose.ecn.purdue.edu>, lyle@chainsaw.ecn.purdue.edu (Lyle Youngblood) writes:


>    A local store supplying buisnesses with computer hadware, software,
>and professional advice is called Computers Now.  The big sign over the
>main office on Main Street took some minor damage in a storm and they
>became Computers No.
>                                          Lyle
>
>--
>All men are equal, Colnel Colt made 'em that way - Old West Proverb
>Political power flows from the barrell of a gun - Mao Tse-tung
>Same thought, different words - Lyle Youngblood
>lyle@chainsaw.ecn.purdue.edu

Maybe not funny, but it MUST be added....:

You can come longer with a friendly smile and a gun, than with just a 
friendly smile - Al Capone
If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns - (who?)
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? - Mae West
You cannot govern from a throne of bayonets - Konfucius?
You can conquer a contry from a horseback, but not govern it - Kublai Khan
.and let loose the dogs of war - Julius Caesar
Give me one staffel of Spitfires, and I'll conquer England - Rudel
Happiness is a warm gun - (Bluejackets)
Bury my heart at Wounded Knee - Louis Masterson
Where have all the soldiers gone? - Marlene Dietrich
Mercenaries never die, they just go to hell to regroup - Unknown
Nuke'em all, let God/Allah sort'em out - Unknown
Weaponchamber of liberty - F.T.Roosevelt
I dont like Mondays - The Boomtown Rats?
Who lives by sword shall die by sword - Matthew
The Pretorian Guard dies, it does not surrender! - Centurion Antonius
The Pretorian Guard surrenders, it does not die! - Asterix
Death before dishonor - (who?)
You shall not kill - Xth. Commandment
Young Guns - Hollywood
Death to the French! - C.S. Forester
Ave Caesar, nus morituri salutade - gladiator chant before the fight
Gott Mitt Uns - words on belts of german soldiers, WW1
.'cause there aint no sun on a soldiers gun - Stage Dolls
We are the Champions - Queen
..so come on, be the first man in your block to come home in a box! - Unknown
One Ring to hold them and in the Darkness bind them - Tolkien
Not a single bomb shall fall on German ground! - Goebbels
The 3rd world war can be restrained to european earth - Reagan
We will bury you - Stalin
Bullets speak louder than reason - Unknown
We will be in Cairo within this autumn - Rommel
The Day After - Hollywood
Lord, kill me, but not with porridge! - Sverre?


I am really sorry, this maybe belongs to rec.guns....it is fun, and 
sad, and weird, and YES I am a weapon owner...




-- 
Terje Johansen at Trondheim College of Engineering, Norway.

Be careful when you look into the abyss...because if you
look too long, the abyss will also look into you. - Nietzche
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Hello
Date: 6 Oct 92 01:25:14 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>> >>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>> >>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>> >>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>> >>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>> >>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>> >>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>> >>>>Why not today.
>> >>> BTW... :-)
>> >>Throw the "C" manual away !
>> >I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
>> BASIC is here to stay!
>12 year olds sure like to play!
I'll add one more line, OK?
-- 
+ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - +
|         ///   ///    ///////                   -=FORTY-TWO=-              |
|        ///   ///   /////////           We *ARE* The meaning of life!      |
|       //////////  //   ///                                                |
|      //////////      ///                TMA4@LEHIGH.EDU - Terry           |
|           ///      ///                  SLR7@LEHIGH.EDU - Stephanie       |
|          ///     ////////               MRP2@LEHIGH.EDU - Matt            |
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
From: ss1@kepler.unh.edu (The Rink)
Subject: Airplane! script
Organization: Turkey Hall
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 02:29:16 GMT

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I understand there is a script to the movie, "Airplane!" out there somewhere
on the net.  Could someone either email me a copy or let me know an ftp site
where it is available?  Thanks....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention,
and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
	(Ambrose Bierce)


A university faculty is 500 egotists with a common parking problem.


A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest
in students.
	(John Ciardi)


A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
	(Samuel Goldwyn)


A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's
written on.
	(Louis B. Mayer)


A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice
without getting nervous.


A whole hog is better than no hog at all.


A witty saying proves nothing.
	(Voltaire)
-- 
Sam.                                             ss1@kepler.unh.edu
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me.
-------------------------------------------------Ambrose Bierce----------------
Xref: sparky rec.humor:30142 aus.jokes:1438 alt.folklore.computers:14655 aus.computers:292