HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jjozwiak@shearson.com (Jenny Jozwiak)
Subject: The Miracle of Life
Reply-To: jjozwiak@shearson.com
Organization: Lehman Brothers, Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 13:45:03 GMT

Just think if you did not have this life to ponder your demise and how miserable you
are, what would you do?  Non-existance does not sound like much fun to me.

I know life can really be terrible sometimes....Unfair, painful, lonely, angry and incomprehensibly
cruel....

But after going though my share of depression and thoughts like "anything would be better
than this pain I am living with", I guess I've decided that life in any form is 
still a "gift" and better than rushing towards the inevitable end of us all anyway.....

I see things now in a somewhat Buddistic way.  (dont make fun) Maybe there is something
else after our hearts stop, maybe not.....but the beauty is in the doubt.....

Until that moment we just dont know for sure.....like a really good mystery novel....
except you can't peek at the end because the pages will be blank until you finally do
reach the last page.....


>I also believe in reincarnation.  BUt dont worry. You miserable people wont
>even remember how unhappy you were in this life.  You will be born as someone
>else. Maybe even a happy little baby before your parents or whatever
>screwed you up....yea, life is suffering but it is also a fucking
>miracle...... : )

>For you, I presume?

>Shearson Lehman must pay fairly well.

Don't be silly.....money means nothing....and because I believe that, I have never made the
acquisition of it my goal.  I usually just get by.  And the job I have does not really pay
that well.  

I am an artist.  I am working in a financial environment for now.   I have met some wonderful people here. And someday soon, I will travel the world.

A lot of you are still in College.  Probably computer or business majors.....I chose a totally
different route for myself.  True I am working a day job right now, but I have much stronger
desires in my life, that have nothing to do with security, money, family or "success" in
societies view.

"That which does not kill me, only makes me stronger"

When I was about 19 or 20 I was walking down a NYC street, and there was a small crowd of people
standing around looking at something. I walked over to see and it was the dead body of a young girl, covered with a sheet.  Blood was collecting in a pool around her.  She had just jumped from the 30 story building. I was looking at the peoples faces. I thought about all the truly rotten, mean, evil people in the world who have the nerve to keep on living,  while sensitive, gental, feeling people take their own lives.

I promised myself that will never be me, no matter what.  
I vowed to stay the way I am, but become stronger.  Feeling the fear and doubts, but taking action anyway. Courage.  I think in the long run living takes more courage than choosing to die, (not including painful illness of course) and ultimatly becomes a greater learning experience.

Don't be so fast to judge.  Open your mind, not your vein.  

Life is terrible beautiful thing......
From: justin@mik.uky.edu (Justin Sullivan)
Subject: Re: The Miracle of Life
Organization: University Of Kentucky, Dept. of Math Sciences
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 20:53:13 GMT
Distribution: usa

Jenny Jozwiak writes
> Just think if you did not have this life to ponder your demise and how  
miserable you
> are, what would you do?  Non-existance does not sound like much fun to me.
> 
> I know life can really be terrible sometimes....Unfair, painful, lonely,  
angry and incomprehensibly
> cruel....

Hmm.. 
You got that right, darling.
To me, life, society and civilization COULD be VERY beautiful.. That's why  
I'm still around (to try and make it happen). <sigh>
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: stinerkt@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Kevin T Stiner)
Subject: Re: Current Results of the Poll about Life after Death
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 02:48:38 GMT


I do not believe there is life after death.  Sometimes I wish there was a  
"God" to talk to when I am alone so I don't feel so lonely anymore, but  
this may be the reason why the "God" concept was created. The thought of  
non-existance SCARES me, but I believe that it will happen to me in due  
time.  I do not believe in fate or that we have a purpose.  Of course,  
once I die, I will not have to think about this anymore (I will not  
"think").  That is what scares me.  Once I die, existance will cease in my  
perspective.  Also, in my perspective, YOU will cease to exist as well.  I  
guess I will search for the ultimate pleasure in life so I may not waist  
my short life in vain.  In conclusion, no matter how bad, I would take  
life over non-existance anytime......

Kevin T Stiner
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: lewis@aera8700.mitre.org (Keith Lewis)
Subject: Re: *thunk*thunk*thunk*
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 14:51:49 GMT

In article <1992Sep4.195723.23589@udel.edu>, awatson@pecan.cns.udel.edu (angela watson) writes:
>	*thunk*thunk*THUNK*
>
>	My newsfeed is down to a trickle (if that)... I don't know if
>I'm just not getting new articles or if this group is in a coma.  Usually
>I'd just wait a few days for it to catch up... but I'm just really
>anxious to read *anything* here (and a few other small groups).

Hmmmm.... maybe something is wrong with the network.  I'm getting as many
a.s.h articles as ever.  (It never *was* a really high traffic group.)

>					*thunk*thunk*THUNK*ow!*

We're going to have to chip in and buy you some padding for your terminal. 
:^)

Keith Lewis             klewis@mitre.org          "Mr. Cheap"
I don't dance to music; music dances to me.  Email me for my PGP key.
The above may not (yet) represent the opinions of my employer.
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: jjozwiak@shearson.com (Jenny Jozwiak)
Subject: Re: Current Results of the Poll about Life
Reply-To: jjozwiak@shearson.com
Organization: Lehman Brothers, Inc.
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 16:47:37 GMT

I  believe in an enery after death.  That energy which makes us not dead now, I 
believe continues on after the physical body dies.  
I also believe in reincarnation.  BUt dont worry. You miserable people wont even
remember how unhappy you were in this life.  You will be born as someone else. Maybe
even a happy little baby before your parents or whatever screwed you up....yea, life
is suffering but it is also a fucking miracle......

: )
From: alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe)
Subject: Re: A Desperate Attempt
Organization: Pegasus,  Honolulu
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 92 19:52:23 GMT

In article <1992Sep7.124527.2708@afit.af.mil> jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave) writes:
>>Ah..what about attacking Lurkers..yes..that's it..why do you lurk..to you
>>feed on our dispair..?...hope for one of us to actually do it..?..uh
>>or it could just be the fascination of a freeway wreck..looking for a
>>little blood?;->
>
>Looking to see if there's anybody out there feeling the way we do.
>
>"So you've found your solution,
> What will be your last contribution?"
>       -Fool's Overture, Supertramp
>
>=====================jholtgra@scgraph.afit.af.mil==============================
>Jeremy Holtgrave     "Aye, aye!  and I'll chase him round Good Hope, and
>Air Force Institute   round the Horn, and around the Norway Maelstrom,
>of Technology,        and round perdition's flames before I give him
>WPAFB, OH             up."                     -Captain Ahab, Moby Dick
>===============================================================================
>

Now you're not a lurker..you're a poster..!:-)

Want to be initiated as an Asher?..(claws extending...pale from being
unfed for a while..)..pretty please;->>>>>?

-- 
**************************************************************************
"I don't ask for much..just your heart on a silver platter;-)"
						-Kali
**************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: lewis@aera8700.mitre.org (Keith Lewis)
Subject: Re: *thunk*thunk*thunk*
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
    <ogorman.715713151@unix1.tcd.ie> <1992Sep6.014521.20690@udel.edu>
    <1992Sep6.015415.20950@udel.edu>
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 18:09:53 GMT

In article <1992Sep6.015415.20950@udel.edu>, awatson@pecan.cns.udel.edu (angela watson) writes:
>        My Mother just offered to _build_ a room for me in my 'rents
>basement if I move back "home" (and stop living with my SO)...

I wonder what brought this on.  You didn't call them asking for money, did
you?  If so, stoppit!  There are few things more irritating than somebody
who claims to want to be away from you but is constantly asking for your
help.

>	(To put it mildly, I don't like my 'rents.  They are just trying
>to regain the control they lost when I moved out - to live with my
>current SO - at age 18.) It's just so damn funny the way she was saying it...
>"...you could still see Ed, you know." *HAHAHAHAHAHA* (yeah right... gonna
>sell me a bridge next Mommy dearest?) 

"Is it OK if Ed sleeps over?"
"Is it OK if his friends sleep over?  We like to share a bed."
"Will you put in a stove so I don't have to cook my crack in the kitchen?"
and so on.  Someday it'll sink in.

Keith Lewis             klewis@mitre.org          "Mr. Cheap"
I don't dance to music; music dances to me.  Email me for my PGP key.
The above may not (yet) represent the opinions of my employer.
From: megazone@wpi.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: A Desperate Attempt [SC]
Date: 10 Sep 1992 03:56:02 GMT
Organization: WPI USAF -- United Society of Animation Fans
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu

In article <18m1i2INNdgf@bigboote.WPI.EDU> gryphon@planet10.WPI.EDU (M-5) writes:
>In article <18ltmgINNato@bigboote.WPI.EDU> megazone@obsidian.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23) writes:
>I'd post _my_ poem, too, but the subject matter just doesn't match...

If you want to post it go ahead... It doesn't have to be all doom and gloom you
know...

Note: For those who don't know, Gryph is one of my coauthors on the 
Undocumented Features saga. And he is currently being pissy and I'm a good
target.

>But it helps.  For example, Zoner isn't truly suicidal...but it gets him
>chicks.  :-)

You like saying that don't you Ben? You have never really seen me at my worst,
I've stepped over the edge before. 

I was talking to him about my poetry and I mentioned that it had started a
number of email conversations, some of which are still evolving. I also noted
off hand that the majority of people emailing me were women. So Ben took that
and ran with it.

Ben: Please don't refer to them as 'chicks'. They are very intelligent women
and exchanging mail with them is one of the few things I actually find 
enjoyable. It's not like I ignore mail from men and just reply to women, I 
talk with anyone who wants to.

>The newsgroup, or suicide?  Yeah...it's kinda silly to kill yourself if you
>don't want to.  (All the other kids are doin' it...naaah.)

I want to be a non-conformist just like everyone else.

>That's nice of you, Zoner, but like I said, the content of "When Magic Dies"
>just wouldn't fit here.  I'd start getting those "please refrain from posting
>inappropriate messages" mailings...
>...yeesh, USENET...

Ben, you need to chill a bit. Your life isn't over, and I think that 'When
Magic Dies' would fit just fine here. Especially since I know how/when it was
written....

So go for it, worst that can happen is someone complains, and I'm glad that
a.s.h has been relatively free of flame-wars. (There have been a few, but
far-far below par.)

###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu
Subject: Re: cheap suicide
Organization: C.C.S.O.
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 15:22:55 GMT

'Course you realize (don't you?) that by discounting the "free" methods like
jumping off tall buildings or throwing yourself in front of speeding vehicles,
you've already eliminated the truly 'cheapest' methods from consideration.
Aside from that, the next catagory of cheap deaths is to use implements you
already have about you in your daily life.  An example would be to hang your-
self from your pants-belt (helps mightily to take if off first and slip it
around your neck instead of your waist) from the nearest suitable tree or if
no trees are available, then some other sturdy object.  Arm (blood vessel)
slashing only takes $0.50 or less to buy the soda can and the patience to
tear the metal to get the needed edge (i once wowed some people by *ripping*
a soda can in half.  What they failed to note is i spent a few minutes before
hand bending the thing back-n-forth to weaken the metal first).
      e.k.
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: justin@mik.uky.edu (justin sullivan)
Subject: Re: The last of that damned desperate attempt thread (I hope)
Organization: University Of Kentucky, Dept. of Math Sciences
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 06:44:07 GMT

In <18tj6eINNlu5@bigboote.WPI.EDU> gryphon@wpi.WPI.EDU (M-5) writes:

>I think what I'm trying to say is, I'm feeling much better now...

>Life still sucks, nothing has changed, there is no improvement, and it's still
>ripping me apart at the seams...but at least no one's directly against me. 
>I managed to at least get rid of the paranoia.

>So I guess that qualifies as feeling much better...

>...or maybe not.  I dunno.
Oh, but you're so wrong!
You're one day older, the moon is a little less full then it was, the ozone
is still being depleted, the oceans are more polluted then they were when
you posted this.. 
You know what they say, though.. If you're feeling better (or good), don't
worry.. It will soon pass. :)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday,alt.personals
From: megazone@wpi.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23)
Subject: I said I'd tell you when....
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 08:14:50 GMT

...Out In The Cold, Undocumented Features 3, was done. And, well, it is.

It is currently appearing on alt.prose and rec.arts.anime. Look for the
intro post; Out In The Cold, aka Undocumented Features 3, released!; and the
chapters as OIC (chapter #).

That's enough cluttering up these groups, but I had promised to let some of
the readers know when the novel was done, and I try to keep my word.

###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################

Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: sokay@cyclone.mitre.org (Stephen J. Okay)
Subject: Re: Yet another artistic death
Organization: Mitre Corporation, McLean, VA
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 17:27:36 GMT

In article <conibear.715984722@cunews> conibear@sol.carleton.ca (Dave Conibear) writes:
>
>At this point, take the razor that you've palmed and slice open a
>jugular vein (or better, a carotid artery).  Do it at the right angle,
>and you'll start to spin like a top as the blood comes fountaining
>out.  At the same time, you'll be bouncing up and down on the bungee
>cord.  The pattern of blood on snow will put even the coolest
>Spiro-graph picture to shame, and the heavy g-forces will drain your
>body of its warm red stuff in less time than a Perot presidential
>campaign.
>[Thanks to psycho kitten for original inspiration and creative advice.]

I like it...its cool, its A.S.H.-like, its peformance art of the deepest
kind.....

Psycho-Kitten sounds like a woman after my own heart...(but you have to pull it
out first dear, and then fight off Kali for it...)

God, the group has really deteriorated in the past month or two...Things have
gotten so bad that Mary Jacobs is following up to herself now...bleah....

----Steve
-- 
Stephen Okay  sokay@mitre.org
"You see, I'm kind of this control freak who likes to create his own
personal hells before the real one can get to him. I like to beat hell
to hell so to speak".--Spalding Gray "Monster in a box"
Xref: sparky alt.suicide.holiday:2029 alt.personals:18316
From: megazone@hongkong.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday,alt.personals
Subject: Re: I said I'd tell you when....
Date: 8 Sep 92 15:23:02 GMT
Organization: WPI USAF -- United Society of Animation Fans

In article <1992Sep8.121441.25343@dscomsf.desy.de> tls@sscvx1.ssc.gov writes:
>Is this morally justifiable? After all, stupid people are born that way;
>they can't do anything about it exactly in the same way they can't help
>it if they have white skin...

Depends on your defination of stupid. For me it is someone who has all the 
info and ignores it. As opposed to ignorance, which is simply the lack of info.

>talk to plants or be a greenist.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################
From: gryphon@rajeesh.WPI.EDU (Benjamin D Hutchins)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: A Desperate Attempt [SC]
Date: 12 Sep 1992 02:22:38 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: rajeesh.wpi.edu

In article <RandomAlphanumerics@afit.af.mil> jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave) writes:
>In article <NumberLetterCrud@bigboote.WPI.EDU> megazone@wpi.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23) writes:
>>In article <NothingReallyImportant@bigboote.WPI.EDU> gryphon@planet10.WPI.EDU (M-5) writes:
>>>In article <AreYouReallyReadingThese@bigboote.WPI.EDU> megazone@obsidian.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23) writes:

[crud deleted]

>>
>>>But it helps.  For example, Zoner isn't truly suicidal...but it gets him
>>>chicks.  :-)
>>
>>You like saying that don't you Ben? You have never really seen me at my worst,
>>I've stepped over the edge before.
>
>Hey, no need to defend yourself on this point.  Whatever works for you.
>After all, being suicidal is the ultimate plea for attention.

About time someone else recognized this.

Seriously...my response to this whole bloody mess of a thread should be
forthcoming as soon as I can get my source material and a keyboard
close enough together...within the next day or two.  I'm feeling much
better now, and I'd like--for those of you who are now laughing your
asses off thanks to MegaZone's revenge posting--to make my stand and
sources perfectly clear.

PS: Zoner...after I promised I wouldn't ever mention T.E.'s again...you 
had the gall to dig up some of that crap?  If it wouldn't hurt anyone else,
I'd post it to the bloody word.

Later,
--G.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   Natural Progressions to be Found in the English Language #247-11A:
          cat.......................................catapult
INTERNET: gryphon@world.std.com               BELLNET: (508)755-4675
SNAILNET: Benjamin D. Hutchins, 14 Dover St. #2B, Worcester, MA  01609
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: alpinist@eskimo.celestial.com (David Butler)
Subject: Re: Current Results of the Poll about Life
Organization: =>ESKIMO NORTH (206) 367-3837 SEATTLE, WA.<=
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 18:06:09 GMT

In article <1992Sep9.233925.29001@leland.Stanford.EDU> underdog@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dwight Joe) writes:
>For the curious, I'll show that certain forms of afterlife are absolutely
>impossible.  Consider the second law of thermodynamics:  P >= 0,
>where P is entropy.

>From memory, P is a "kind" of measure of the chaotic energy that can no longer
>be harnessed into useful work.  Eons and eons from now, there will no longer
>be any more energy that can be harnessed to do useful work, but the total
>energy in the universe will still be conserved.

>What does this mean for life after death?

>It means that infinite re-incarnation back to this same universe is impossible.
>At some point, eons from now, everything will be dead.

   Hmm, well there are other possibilities.  First you are assuming that this
universe is all that there is.  And there are still enough unknowns in the
universe to make the long term predictions of cold dead balls floating through
space in billions of years not necessarily true.

   What was the state of the universe before the big bang?  How did the
material for the big bang show up in the first place?  The universe exists
inside of infinity.  Infinity is an awful big number.  (Beyond the real
comprehension of our limited stupid human brains)  There could be lots of
other universes.  Maybe new universes are being formed all the time.  Maybe
when this universe ends a new one will form on its heels.  If there was a
cold dead universe outside the perimeter of our current universe there is
no way that our current scientific instruments could detect it.

   And still, even if we are limited to this one doomed to die universe
we could be reincarnated millions of times before it is done.  A million is
in fact a bigger number than most people can comprehend in real terms.

-- 
****************************************************************************
* Dave                          *               The Alpinist               *
* alpinist@eskimo.celestial.com *            DARE to be stoopid!           *
****************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe)
Subject: Re: I am here.
Organization: Pegasus,  Honolulu
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 92 04:41:42 GMT

In article <jgs1.714855932@Isis.MsState.Edu> jgs1@ra.msstate.edu (jimi strickland) writes:
>  Just my fall semester post, I suppose.
>  I am sad to say that I have been unable to post because there is nothing
>  worth following up.  My poor group is falling into boredom.
>  Anyway, stay alive for a little while longer so you can see me post again.
>  ha ha ha
>
>
>                           Grand Overlord of ASH,
>
>                                 jimetal
>
>

Grand Overlord of ASH?...hmm..as long as you're not OverGoddess;->

*kiss*bite*

-- 
**************************************************************************
"I don't ask for much..just your heart on a silver platter;-)"
						-Kali
**************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu
Subject: Re: cheap suicide
Organization: C.C.S.O.
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 21:45:40 GMT

In article <1992Sep15.183723.11144@afit.af.mil>
jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave) writes:
 
>The cheapest method of all is absolutely free, yet no buildings, planes,
>trains, or automobiles.  Just become a serial killer, get caught, (but
>only after several grisly slayings), and hope for the death penalty.
>Granted it wouldn't be a timely death with the appeals and all, but it
>would be courtesy of Uncle Sam.
      Oh?  It's your tax dollars at work, ya know.  'Course it would still
come down to mere pennies for your own share of the bill.
  e.k.
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday