From: rcarter@nyx.cs.du.edu (Ron Carter)
Subject: `Streetcare Named Marge' - 8f18 - All the lyrics!
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Date: Fri, 2 Oct 92 18:26:12 GMT

Here we go...

You're a dame and I'm a fella...        (Ned Flanders as Stanley)
Stop it Stanley or I'll tell Stella...  (Marge/Blanche)
All I want is one embrace...            (N/S)
I'll twist this bottle IN YOUR FACE!    (M/B)

Marge sez `Stanley, stop...' the second time we hear it...

The pep talk before going on stage... (Shakespearean? with Burroughs?)

Perhaps we're all a little mad, we who don cap and bells, and tread
beneath the proscenium arch, but, tonight, you will all be transformed
from dead-eyed suburbanites into white hot grease fires of pure
entertainment!

Opening song...

Chief Wiggums (as ?)
   Long before the SuperDome...
   Where the Saints of football play...
   Lived a city that the Damned called Home...
   Hear their Hellish rondolay...               (sp? A rondo is a `round')

Cast
   New Orleeeans!  Home of pirates, drunks, and whores!
   New Orleeeans!  Tacky, overpriced, souvenir stores!
   If you want to go to Hell, you should make that trip...
   To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip'...

   New Orleeeans!  Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile... (Don't quote me on
   New Orleaaans!  Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul... (the epithets...
   New Orleeeans!  Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank...  (It might be `bile'
   New Orleeeans!  ...                                 (or `cruddy'...

Marge (as Blanche)
   I thought my life, would be a Mardi Gras...
   A never-ending party... (pause) Ha!

   I'm a faded Southern dame without a dime...

Apu (as Steve) (spoken...)
   I'm collecting for the Evening Star...
Marge (as Blanche) (spoken...  Sexy, softly...  And well done!)
   Come here...  I want to kiss you, just once...
   Softly, and sweetly... on your -mouth-...
Apu (as Steve)
   I am just a simple paperboy, no romance do I seek...
   I just wanted forty cents, for my deliveries last week...
   Will this bewitching floozy, seduce this humble newsie?
   Oh, what's a paperboy to... (pause) doooooo?
Steve and Blanche kiss...  *SMACK*  Apu sez  Wooo hooo!

Ned Flanders (as Stanley)
   Stella!  STELLLAAAA!  Can't you hear me YELLA!
   You're puttin' me through HELLA!  Stella...  STELLLAAAA!

Le Grand Finale... (sung to `Guys and Dolls' style tune...)

Marge (as Blanche) (Spoken to Chief Wiggum as ?)
   Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...
Cast!
   You can always depend on the kindness of strangers...
   To pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers...
Marge (as Blanche)
   Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret...
Cast!
   A stranger's just a friend you haven't met...
(Sell it!)
   You haven't met... (wait for it...) STREETCAR!
   
CURTAIN

*whew*
Ron `Chicken, extra skin, rolls, (Mmmm) chocolate cream parfait' Carter
--
Ron Carter |   Denver | Center for the Study of Creative Intelligence
  Director | Colorado | "A ... mind stretched by a new idea can never
rcarter@nyx.cs.du.edu | go back to its original dimensions."  -Holmes
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