From: rohwerwd@netcom.com (W. David Rohwer)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,ba.market.housing
Subject: Re: Politeness and Canterbury Apt. Troubles.  (Was:Re: What do you Am men think about Am women?)
Date: 17 Nov 92 08:12:34 GMT
Organization: Netcom - San Jose, CA

In article <1992Nov9.095634.26620@netcom.com> oleg@netcom.com (Oleg Kiselev) writes:
>In article <1992Nov8.103257.29675@netcom.com> rohwerwd@netcom.com (W. David Rohwer) writes:
>>     I disagree.  Politeness goes only so far, if one does not get what
>>one is entitled to, then, one can become very rude.  ...
>>temper and yelled a lot of swear words at him and accused him of not caring
>            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>.....
>>him some more swear words and then left.  I wanted to get his boss's name so
>>that I could try to get him fired.  I also felt that he was lying to me about
>              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>the new tenants.  After I got to work, I called a mediation board here in
>                                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>next day, I gave him a check without any extra verbage.  The mediation
>>board sent him a letter.  Within a week or two of him receiving the letter,
>>I noticed that the problems were fixed.
>>     The moral is that if politeness does not work, then use all the
>>weapons at your disposal to get what one is entitled to.
>
>Sorry for the long exerpt, but it was necessary for the context.
>
>Reading David's posting I came to the exactly opposite conclusion.
>Yelling, throwing tantrums, trying to wreck people's lives and other
>such things don't gain you much leverage with these people and ddo
>nothing but make them less likely to be eager to work with you later.

     I did not tell him that I wanted his boss's name to get him fired.
He did not know my motives for asking for his boss's name.

     Remember that he threatened to evict me before I got really pissed
and let go of my temper.

     I do not really have that much of a problem with his employees.  I have
a problem with him.  If he cared for his tenants and made them feel welcome
to live in this apartment complex, then I would not have a problem with
him.


>Had David skipped yelling and trying to get the manager fired and had
>gone on directly to calling the local mediation agency, the matter may
>have gotten resolved much sooner and with fewer bad feelings.
>

     You may be right.  I talked to my step-mother, a partner in a
S.F. law firm, the night that I blew my stack, and she said that I
had made a mistake.  She said that if my manager and I had gone
to court, that the judge would not have taken too kindly to my outburst.

>As it stands, David should not expect the manager to be very nice to
>him in the future or get a good reference check when he moves and the
>next landlord tries to check up on his history as a tenant.
>

     The turnaround in apartment managers here I believe will help me.
I do not believe that he will be here, the next time that I move.

>In the end, being rude and threatenning is the very last resort and is
>usually quite unnecessary, since there are usually other ways to achieve 
>what you need without raising anyone's blood pressure.
>-- 
>Oleg Kiselev at home			...use the header to find the path

     We will see what happens.

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