From: lindaman4833@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: alt.rock-n-roll
Subject: Re: The Ten Most Overrated Rock Bands
Date: 6 Apr 92 21:10:16 -0500
Summary: You want 10 overrated bands? You GOT 10 overrated bands!!!
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

In article <1992Apr2.210149.3514@iscsvax.uni.edu>, lindaman4833@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
> The guy who wrote the article about the 10 most overrated bands ever must have
> been on some heavy-duty drugs (by the way, can I get some for this weekend?). 
> There are some, like Bruce Springsteen, that I agree with, but for the most
> part, he is WRONG!!! Here is what I feel is the definitive list of the 10 most
> overrated bands/artists of all time.
> 
> 1) Nirvana---You know it's a bad band when you have to strain to understand the
> words of their first successful song.  Besides, how good can they be if they
> use the name of a teeny-bopper deodorant in the title? These guys could
> certainly use some of the stuff because their music STINKS.  I've actually seen
> a big picture of these guys at Musicland and they look about as bright as Dan
> Quayle.  Enjoy your success while you can, guys, because you won't last long.
> 
> 2) R.E.M.---The only good song of theirs is "It's the End of the World as We
> Know It (I Feel Fine)."  The rest of their music just bites.  Michael Stipe
> looks like Charlie Brown in the video for "Shiny Happy People" for God's sake!
> Who is he going to dress up like next, Ren and Stimpy? It's time for these guys
> to wake up and accept the fact that they're nothing but filler music between
> real rock songs by real people.  Most of all, I don't give a flying handshake
> about anything Stipe has to say about important issues, so why does he feel
> obligated to shove his views down my throat along with the crap he and his band
> put out? They were just lucky enough to be in the right place at the wrong time
> and they took off from there.  Go back to Georgia where they idolize you and
> give us back Jimmy Carter.
> 
> 3) The Mall-Rat Groups (NKOTB, Martika, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Tiffany, Debbie
> Gibson)---Whoever told these people they had talent were nuts!!! I've heard
> better music listening to a cat fight, and at least I could dance to it!!! The
> Wahlburg brothers are dickheads who have the 15 and under group (IQ not age)
> convinced that they are the next generation of rockers.  Well kids, it's time
> for you to take your harmonizers and lip-synching butts back to Boston and stay
> there.  And while you're at it, why not take the rest of the no-talent
> bubble-gum brains with you so that we can hunt you down and kill you all before
> you breed? This country is in bad enough shape as it is without having to deal
> with Denny Terrio embreos with moussed-up hair lip-synching to real singers.
> 
> 4) Queensryche---Their big hit "Silent Lucidity" should have been named "Silent
> Stupidity" because they obviously think they're the best hard rock band in the
> world.  WRONG!!! They don't even come close to touching the achievements of
> Rush or Van Halen or AC-DC.  Geoff Tate is nothing more than a bad Paul E.
> Dangerously clone who has no sense of how to sing.  (For those of you who don't
> know who Paul E. Dangerously is, pick up any pro wrestling magazine or watch
> World Championship Wrestling on cable and you'll see who I'm talking about.)
> Someone should take Tate aside and tell him that he CAN'T SING or give him the
> name of a good voice coach and let the band break up until he gets it right
> (which will be never).
> 
> 5) The "Mousse Heads" (Richard Marx and others)---Richard Marx is the cause of
> the hole in the ozone getting bigger because of all the haircare products he
> uses.  Anybody with hair that big should be given a lesson in control, as well
> as some voice lessons.  There are only a few songs of his that are half-way
> decent, but the rest is crap.  He and anyone like him are ruining rock music by
> innundating the radio and TV waves with the idea that image is more important
> than substance.  Also, have you noticed that he never plays an instrument in
> concert? That should tip everyone off that he is nothing more than a pretty boy
> trying to be a rock star by trying to appeal to the same group the Mall-Rat
> groups are.  With a last name like Marx, you have to wonder.
> 
> 6) EMF---Where in the hell did these guys come from? These guys make Milli
> Vanilli look like Beethoven and Mozart.  They have had just one major hit that
> was "Unbelievable"---unbelievable that it was ever released! It was a major
> league stinker! I'm not a big fan of sampling and after seeing these rip-off
> artists my opinion gets even further ground in hatred of the dreaded thing. 
> They sampled Andrew Dice Clay and they were still #1 on the charts with the
> song.  DICE SHOULD HAVE SUED FOR DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER!!!! I know I wouldn't
> want to be a part of anything these musical equivalents of Spam had a hand in. 
> Send these rip-offs back to the pit they crawled out of and make them listen to
> real music so that they know what it is before they show their faces in public
> ever again.
> 
> 7) (MC) Hammer and Vanilla Ice---COME ON, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I can't turn on the
> television or read a magazine without one of these two bozos staring me in the
> face.  Hammer has done some good things for music and society, but does
> everyone in the universe have to keep playing "Can't Touch This" or "2 Legit 2
> Quit"? A billion times an hour gets to be a bit much.  One thing I'll say in
> Hammer's defense: he isn't Vanilla Ice! This fake white boy thinks he has
> talent, but he belongs with the rest of the fakers.  Leave the white boy
> rapping to 3rd Bass and the Beastie Boys.  Ice, you're about to be melted.
> 
8) Cher and other actresses/actors/models turned singers---These are some of
the most annoying people on the face of the earth, especially Cher.  I've had
quite enough of her tattooed butt taking up airtime from people who deserve it. 
She's had a fair run on TV and on bad '60's music.  Why does she feel the need
to torture us further? If that's what being with Sonny Bono does to people,
we'd better hope he loses his bid to become senator of California in November. 
The rest of those "glamorous people" (Sheena Easton, Nia Peebles, Vanessa
Williams) should go back to just looking good, not looking good and sounding
bad.  Modeling and singing do not go together unless you happen to be really
good and these clowns don't even come close.

9) Michael Jackson---In his song "Bad," he should have asked "How Bad" instead
of "Who's Bad?" because he is getting pretty close to the upper limits of
stench.  Around the time of "Thriller," he was doing some good stuff, but now
it's ridiculous.  Who cares about whether he looks white or what he does with
his chimp.  What matters is his music and unfortunately it is getting as
ridiculous as he is.  Whatever talent he had must have left with his pigment
and his nose.  On a side note, have you noticed that he is looking more and
more like LaToya? I'm expecting him to show up in a Playboy magazine with a
python.  Let's face it, Michael Jackson has lost all of his talent in order to
be in the spotlight (not that he had very much to begin with mind you!!!)

10) Many recent heavy metal/hard rock bands (Slaughter, Megadeath, Winger to
some extent)---When these guys came out, I didn't mind them until every
skateboarding hair mutant and their girlfriends from K-Mart Fashion Hell
started requesting their songs every 10 seconds.  It just goes to show you that
a successful formula for a band can be WAY WAY WAY overused.  After a while,
they all sound the same.  Only the true hard rockers like Van Halen, Led
Zeppelin, and Def Leppard continue to make new music that sounds different, not
like it came out of a factory.  Case in point: Megadeath did a remake of Alice
Cooper's "No More Mr. Nice Guy" for the "Shocker" soundtrack.  I loved the A.C.
version, but HATED the Megadork remake.  Later, Megadork put out a song for the
soundtrack of "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey" and that sucked too.  Conclusion:
Megadeath/Megadork SUCKS!!! Them and the rest of their long-haired buddies who
can't figure out which end of the guitar to use for a solo.  If you're gonna do
hard rock, make it sound less bubble-gummy and more like music.  Anything else
is just a stupid imimation.

That's my Top 10 or Bottom 10 as the case may be.  I know it's long, but read
through my choices and let me know what you think.  Who knows! I may put out
the list of the 10 Most Underrated Bands of All Time (with Rush being at #1 of
course!).  

The man who uses Spam and underarm deodorant,

Tom Lindaman, All-Being Master of Time, Space, Dimension, and Good Rock Music

"Some wild, wacky stuff."
        ---Johnny Carson

"You can't save everyone, just try not to be next to them when they go off."
                                ---Dennis Miller