From: aref@Tehran.Stanford.EDU (Moda'iyeh har hAzer va Vakileh har ghAyeb)
Subject: My two cents worth (WAS: re: KhAnomhA's opinion)
Organization: /usr/lib/news/organizatoin
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 16:44:20 GMT


I am posting this for Mrs. Soheila Amiri (samiri@encore.com)
who is having posting problems. 

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Subject: My two cents worth (WAS: re: KhAnomhA's opinion)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian
Keywords: feminism

In article <amoojoon.15@ghahveh.khooneh.mash.ghanbar>,
amoojoon@ghahveh.khooneh.mash.ghanbar (Bacheh Morshed) writes:

> I have not heard that terminology [gynoamerican] from any other
> "khAnom" since, regardless of the school of thought they subscribed
> too. Now I would like to ask "khAnomhAyeh mamlekateh SCI" to share
> their opinions with all of us. I am sure it would be beneficial to
> most of us to know what you think about the way people(including us)
> call you/refer to you.

What you experienced is what I call "close encounters of the ultra-feminist
kind"!!  When the ERA (Equal Rights Ammendment) was a hot and heavy item
way back when, every time I happened to hold the door for a male co-worker,
I used to jokingly say "Its ok!! I support ERA".  Now what you mentioned
is a classical example of a distorted vision in my estimation.

The truth of the matter is there is a bit of a feminist in every woman.
However, my definition of feminism is far from the doctrines of the
so-called "ungrateful feminist bitches" one of which you had your run-in
with.  It is believing in equality of both genders as human beings and
nothing else.  Its having the opportunity to live a full life and not
being a victim of domestic violence.  Its having the opportunity to get
out of the vicious circle of poverty and ignorance. Its having the
opportunity to succeed in life and specially now-a-days, crashing
through the glass dome and reaching for the stars on its other side.

I don't consider myself a feminist simply because the true vision of
feminism has for long been marred by many senseless actions of the
Ultra-feminists ( whom I call the "misunderstood monsters" ), starting
from the pile of burning bras.  But at the same time, if believing in a
better state of being for all women makes one a feminist, so be it.
It is interesting that Gloria Steinem (can never get the spelling right),
in a recent interview talked about becoming of age in a way and 
rethinking on some of the methods and actions the feminist movement
pursued in achieving its goals.  I think with a different course of
actions and a better agenda, they could have come a longer way than
they have, while leaving a better taste in the mouths of the average
men who think any woman who is not "barefeet and pregnant" is suffering
from the nasty disease of feminism!!

As to the way women are addressed in Farsi, even though we too have a
few colorful ones, I think our expressions are far less offensive than
their counterparts in English.  I wouldn't object to "miss", "mrs.",
"lady" and "maam".  I despise "gal", "honey", "sweetie" and specially
"ms." because my marital status is not a matter I would like to hide,
and I don't believe it has any bearing on my success factor in the
work enironment.  But there is no telling what could happen to someone
who may dare to call me "chick", "broad", or "bitch".  my objections
are based on the offensiveness in a general sense and not because of
their anti-feminist connotations.

A few nights ago, on a pay channel I watched the movie "World according
to Garp", starring Robin Williams again.  The movie serves as a looking
glass into some of the issues raised by the feminist movement and it is
about coming to terms with some of these issues from a male perspective
(IMHO).  I highly recommend the movie to amoojoon and others.  It is an
off beat yet very entertaining movie in my view.

Soheila

P.S.1 Amoojoon, mash bAgher, bacheh morshed, residents of "ghahveh khAneh"
      and all other interested parties may hold any door for me and I
      guarantee you I will return the favor upon our next encounter.  As
      for individuals who rate 0 or negative on the universal Assana
      scale, you need not apply because I assure you, the door will be
      promptly held to your face, if and when we ever meet :-)

P.S.2 For those who have seen the movie, I consider Garp alive and well
      because I see images of him in many men I meet in the course of
      day-to-day life who have reached a better understanding of what
      constitues true equality between themselves and their life partners.
      Thank God this is an ever changing world!!!

Xref: sparky soc.culture.iranian:3286 soc.culture.german:2993 rec.travel.air:335