From: rstevew@deeptht.armory.com (Richard Steven Walz)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory,alt.romance,soc.singles,alt.sex,alt.pagan
Subject: Re: raising children
Date: 10 Nov 92 10:50:00 GMT
Organization: The Armory

In article <1d952bINNpht@agate.berkeley.edu> spp@zabriskie.berkeley.edu (Steve Pope) writes:
>Lubosh -- Lubosh.Hanuska@anu.edu.au writes:
>
>>Angelia Sparrow -- asparrow@mcs213f.cs.umr.edu writes:
>
>>>Two folks come and say one parent does just as good a
>>>job as two.
>
>> I agree - this argument is mostly coming from those who for some 
>> reason are in the situation of a single parent. 
>
>Well, beings as I'm the person who first challenged the "two
>parents is better" notion in this thread, it may interest you
>to know I am *not* a single parent nor was I raised by one...
>
>> If some of
>> those unfortunate have to raise their kid (s) alone...
>
>There IS nothing "unfortunate" about raising kid(s) alone.
>What's unfortunate is society's negative view of this situation,
>which is unfounded.
>
>>>But it looks as if children need two parents of
>>>opposite genders to fill some basic emotional
>>>and sociaslization need.
>
>>Absolutely.
>
>I have a SERIOUS problem with this... saying that
>children need two parents of opposite genders seems to be
>saying that both a "male" and "female" role model are needed...
>and this would seem to be predicated on the sexist (but
>prevalent) notion that it's desirable that men and women have 
>distinct roles in society.  IMO of course...
>
>Steve
----------------
Having raised a child, and being a male, part student, part engineer,
and all house-husband and chief parent of the two of us, (my wife just
never took to the job), I would say that anyone who tries to raise a
child well by themselves will not succeed without a lot of other help,
welfare, several helpful relatives, and no job till the child is
school age or beyond. There just isn't time. I would never for a
minute put down all the single parents out there, as they have little
recourse, but it is simply not the best. As for the asshole above, who
undoubtedly has never done cloth diapers by the six dozen in an old
roller-wringer washer and hung them on the line, let alone clean a
kid's butt till it smelled as normal as any other smell, I would say
that the models are in the society and they are in our species as a
feature, not a bug. The role models in the society are shit, but your
kid is going to pick them up. If they have only a dad or only a mom,
they are going to pick up an incomplete set with which to make
improvements later. With no dad, they aren't going to pick up on
things that men know and they will either be lousy fathers, or else
they will marry lousy fathers. With no mom they won't know what a
woman is about. They will either be lousy mothers or marry lousy
mothers. The set of role models does incorporate a complete set of
skills and attributes which both sexes can learn from. It's just that
our society has them divided up and separated in a twisted form.
Problem: It's the only way they can get the whole picture and have a
chance to understand how to fix it later. Single-parent children I
have known are clueless well into middle-age about a whole set of
things they didn't get, whether they had only a mother or a father.
They have no over-view and cannot seem to grasp the possibility of
change without distorting it. I know few people with two intact
parents that can't see through the superficiality of pc-ism, for
example, or the impenetrable stupidity of the version of radical
feminism that is out in the ozone like Dworkin and McKinnon. This
territory seems to be virtually saved for clueless people walking
around with half a set of values, from having half a set of parents.
- Steve Walz

-- 
* Richard STEVEn Walz   rstevew@deeptht.armory.com   (408) 429-1200  *
* 515 Maple Street #1   * Without safe and free abortion women are   *
* Santa Cruz, CA 95060    organ-surrogates to unwanted parasites.*   *
* Real Men would never accept organ-slavery and will protect Women.  *
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory,alt.romance,soc.singles,alt.pagan