From: woodhous@latcs2.lat.oz.au (Joe P Woodhouse)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: People are People (Re: ISO Bi-Fem and Girlfriend)
Date: 5 Oct 92 13:52:13 GMT
Organization: Comp Sci, La Trobe Uni, Australia

webber@world.std.com (Robert D Webber) writes:
>dmason@plg.uwaterloo.ca (Dave Mason) writes:
>As one of the people already
>in this thread I feel you've misrepresented my opinions, so I'm going
>to reply here.

   Bob, possibly I'm guilty of this too, so thanks for trying to clarify
things...


>I think that if you read her postings carefully, Muffy says that in
>some way people finding her attractive on first meeting actively
>turns her off.

   I think Muffy is really the only one qualified to talk about what
she *meant* to say...but my reading of what she said what closer to
what Dave said rather than Bob's interpretation above.

   [hastily] Not that that says anything about me, Dave & Bob other than
that we read the same post somewhat differently...


>I don't see where you get this, or only see it vaguely.  Speaking
>for myself, I can be attracted to people very quickly after meeting
>them or even on seeing them.  That's attraction in the most general
>sense, though, and most often ends up with me trying to get to
>know the person behind the attractiveness.

   Ah ha! Now we're cooking!

   Yep, pretty much where I stand, too. (See, Bob? Not a flame at all 8->).
Although I think I word it differently, I don't think of the person and
their attractiveness as separate issues - but discussing the role physical
attraction plays in my attraction to people is something that would take
a few posts on its own... 8->


>And incidentally, "...you're poly, so I don't have to worry about
>SO problems..." is not something that would likely occur to me.  "SO
>problems" don't go away just because somebody has more than one
>SO, after all!

   Heh heh...

   I recently stumbled somewhat in one of my new relationships; they had
said they & their partner were resolutely Poly (we'd discussed definitions
so this isn't just about miscommunication), and I just sorta assumed that
everything was cool, there weren't any problems.

   I was a bit taken aback to find out a bit later on that their partner
did indeed have some problems about me, including (but not limited to 8->)
my age (I'm quite a bit younger than either of them), my gender (they're
both female), the nature of our r'ship (fell in love over the Net, and
their partner couldn't really believe my feelings could be real or
legitimate, and thus were young & impulsive & presumptous & disrespectful),
etc.

   [sigh] It certainly taught me the folly of being lazy & making
assumptions!


>I hope that you don't consider this a flame.  It's really hard to
>not post a response after reading a posting that seems to attribute
>opinions to me that I actually disagree with.

   Hell, it's just really difficult not to post, period! 8->

   (yeah, Mr Net.junkie, that's me...I have spent more time talking overseas
via the Net than sleeping, in the last 3 weeks... 8-/).

Joe.

  / Joe Woodhouse        / I'm just a sweet bisexual...   / Hello, there.
 / Latrobe University   /    (think - Rocky Horror)      / Threesomes are fun.
/ Melbourne, Australia / Music. Magic. Mathematics. Me. / I like cats! (miaow!)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory