From: Karen.Keil@f71.n343.z1.fidonet.org (Karen Keil)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Me and We and Deafness
Date: 13 Apr 92 20:58:27 GMT
Reply-To: Karen.Keil@f71.n343.z1.fidonet.org
Organization: FidoNet node 1:343/71 - Seattle Hearing Imp, Seattle WA

Index Number: 21055

[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]

 JW> Karen, you are part of a group whether you want to be
 JW> or not. First of all, by virtue of your mom and
 JW> dad, you are member of a social group called a
 JW> nuclear family (and nuclear in this case has
 JW> nothing to do with sibling rivalries or other
 JW> family fights <grin.).  Second, by virtue of being
 JW> born, you are automatically a member of a national
 JW> group. I'm assuming you are an American. By the
 JW> same token, you are also a member of a
 JW> subspecies of the biological family tree known as homo sapiens. We
 JW> refer to such subgroups as races. All members of
 JW> such
 JW> subgroups have what we called " social structures."
 JW>  Such structures posses certain social norms,
 JW> traditions, and a language. The language embodies
 JW> the soul of that culture.A language reflects and
 JW> expresses a people's self-perception. For example,

You are right about a person belonging to a group whether he/she
chooses to belong or not.  You are correct about the family group,
the national group (American) and about the human species.  Yes, I
feel a part of these groups and define my identity in these ways,
too.  I also identify with certain ethnic groups from which I'm
descended from who came to America from the 'Old Country.'  You are
correct that we belong to certain groups regardless of whether it
was our personal choice or not.  But....we can choose not to belong
to such groups that we are born into...such as renouncing my
American citizenship to become say, a subject of Australia.

 JW>      Culturally Deaf people share a common
 JW> background, a common history, a common language, a body of
 JW> folklore, and even legends. These elements are the basic
 JW> components of every cultural. Therefore, Deaf people are a
 JW> cultural in every sense. They posses the elements
 JW> that comprise the concept of "we."

I notice that you capitalize the word 'Deaf' in this paragraph.  I
am deaf, true, but I am not Deaf.   I don't feel a part of the Deaf
Culture; I feel a part of the 'deaf people', meaning all people who
share the same common experience of hearing loss that affects their
lives.  In this group includes both 'Deaf' and 'deaf' and 'hard of
hearing' and whatever terms there are.  Therefore, by your
definition, I'm not part of the Deaf people, because I don't share
the common language of sign language, for one thing.   This is part
of why I have mixed feelings about the deaf identity....I'm in the
deaf world, but I'm not of it.  That's why I don't feel the 'we'
part of the Deaf concept.

 JW>      No matter who you are, CIRCUMSTANCES dictate how
 JW> you the individual view yourself. As Americans, we are highly
..........
 JW> Circumstances can make us perceive ourselves as
 JW> Deaf first. Other circumstanes make us perceive
 JW> ourselves as James first or Karen first or whatever
 JW> the concept of "I' or "me" calls itself.

Can't argue with that.  Circumstances also include people who lump
me with deaf people.....and that identification introduces me to
situations I wouldn't have encountered otherwise, such as the deaf
employee group at my company, which has both Deaf and deaf people
(like me).

 JW>      I hope your feelings are less mixed now. Mine
 JW> were once mixed too. I used to hate sign language
 JW> in any form. I used to detest deaf people, though I
 JW> was deaf myself. Then I discovered both myself and
 JW> my Deaf self, and I love them both. It does not
 JW> mean I reject others, either "deaf" or hearing. It
 JW> means I'm not ashamed of who and what I am. It
 JW> means I under the "me" better. It means I accept my
 JW> deafness and love  "my people." That I will not
 JW> waste my time and life trying to be something I am
 JW> not. I simply am. And I belong.

It's difficult for me to express just what I feel about the Deaf
culture in relation to myself.  (Mixed feelings, definitely.)  I
did not hate sign language when I encountered it....I just felt
left out, not knowing the language, stories and other components of
the Deaf culture.  I never hated Deaf people---it was just that I
felt frustrated not having a common ground with them--not even
common interests, e.g. discussing books.  I felt that many Deaf
people were not versed in the culture of the hearing world (don't
know how else to term it) and that they were short-changing
themselves by isolating themselves as a separate Cultural group
with nothing shared with other human groups, not even fluency in
written English.

Also, some Deaf people came across to me as very simple-minded, not
having much breadth of view of life, e.g. limited and shallow.
Mind you, this is just my personal opinion.  Going in the same
vein, I undoubtedly seem simple and naive to some hearing people,
especially in the social area.  Even now, I'm still learning things
about social aspects that most people have learned years ago.

There are many things I like about the Deaf culture--the sign
language is beautiful and poetic and I want to learn more of it.
Many of the Deaf experiences are the same as mine---being isolated
where sound is required--e.g. telephones and not being able to
communicate with hearing relatives this way, etc.  There are some
things I don't like about the Deaf culture--its exclusiveness.....I
don't like being labelled negatively as a 'hearie' ( a deaf person
who acts like a hearing person) and having this be implied as
'bad.'

 JW>      I hope your feelings are less mixed now. Mine
 JW> were once mixed too. I used to hate sign language
 JW> in any form. I used to detest deaf people, though I
 JW> was deaf myself. Then I discovered both myself and
 JW> my Deaf self, and I love them both. It does not
 JW> mean I reject others, either "deaf" or hearing. It
 JW> means I'm not ashamed of who and what I am. It
 JW> means I under the "me" better. It means I accept my
 JW> deafness and love  "my people." That I will not
 JW> waste my time and life trying to be something I am
 JW> not. I simply am. And I belong.

I'm not ashamed of being deaf, but I don't regard it as a badge of
identity.  It is just something that exists and which I have to
live with.  I agree that we should accept it as part of ourselves
and not try to be hearing people and 'hear' things where we just
can't.

More later.

Karen

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