From: michaell@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Michael A. Lowry)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Hello again all! (And thanks for the advice and support!)
Date: 30 Sep 92 04:21:35 GMT
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin TX

Hello eveyone! I posted an article here almost a year ago, telling
that I had had very little experience with women, and I was somewhat
scared of entering into a relationship (although that is exactly what
I wanted). Well, this past summer, in school, I met a really nice
French exhange student, named Anne. She and I spent many days
together, sometimes with her friends from France. We became good
friends, and then one night, while dancing together, we kept moving
closer and closer onthe dance floor, until we were essentially dancing
while embracing each other. It had always been a notion in my mind
that sexy, non-fundie, non-puritanical women did not find me
attractive.  Anne proved me wrong. We hugged and kissed a bit after
the last dance, and it was clear that she was interested in me. And I
liked her very much, so we decided to become more intnmate. We were
only together as lovers for a bit over a month, but it was terrific!
She moved back to France, and we corespond frequently. (And I've
called her a few times on the phone) 

I always suspected that she care for me in a much deeper way than I
did for her, and the day after she left, I received a card she had
sent from Ne York, on her way home, telling me that she wa in love
with me. We had talked about love several times, and I told her that I
sisn't think I loved her in the way that a man loves his wife, but
that I cared deeply for her, and I enjoyed her company immensely.
However, now, I realize that love is not one particular classification
for an emotion one shares with a husband or wife, but a continuous
spectrum of different, but related shades of emotion. I wrote Anne
later, telling her that I knew she loved me more, but that I also had
some to realized that I did lover her too. I think we would both
rather be together, but we have encouraged each other to be open to
other romantic possibilities, in our own countries. :) Anyone who has
been in a Long Distance Relationship can attest to the fact that any
but the strongest relationships are likely to weaken with distance.

I have decided to visit Anne in France sometime in January. I don't
have a new love interest, and I don't think Anne does either, but I
feel somewhat confused about how we will feel toward each other when I
do visit her. She felt (or feels) very deeply for me. But I'm not sure
how that has changed, or will change, with separation, and time. In
fact, I'm not sure how I feel or will feel in January either! And if
either of us has a new love internest by then, things will be
complicated even further.

Has anyone out there been in a simiar situation before? How did you
handle it? Would it be appropriate to be intimate with Anne if I had a
new girlfriend here, or if she had new boyfriend in France, or both? I
suppose it would only matter that all parties agreed. This is so
strange! I don't have another girl yet, but I'm not avoiding them
either!  Eventually, I would like to have a girlfriend who lives here
in Austin. *grin* And I want Anne to be happy, and to find a really
nice man in France. I could not marry Anne, because I don't think she
is "my type" when it comes to very long-term relationships. (I don't
think I can explain it- it's just something I know) But I DO enjoy
reading her letters, and writing to her, and being with her, and
spending time with her, and all the other incredibly wonderful, joyous
things we did together! *smile*

Argh. Perhaps I am merely lonely now. (I know I am) Maybe it wouldn't
be a good idea to be intimate with Anne, simply because it would
likely cause her more sadness when I would have to return to the
States. I understand her lonliness, and I'd really prefer it if she
would find a more permenant lover in France, so that she would be
happier for more of the time.

I'd also like to find the perfect woman right her in Austin. But that
is harder than it may sound. (I guess y'all know that)

Hmmm. Any suggestions, or stories, or whatever gladly welcomed.
Read my .sig for silly info.

On a lighter note, I recently met in the flesh, someone whom I had
previously known only via electronic mail. She was one of the people
who had responded to my original message to this newsgroup. 
(Hi, Christine!)
It's quite interesting to point out that when we first met, she was
offering advice, and giving suggestions to me. When I met her, (In San
Francisco, on my way to Honolulu) It was I that was giving advice! She
has a boyfriend, and I was telling her what she should do, based on my
experience. (1 relationship- HA!)

OK- I need to go study for a Philosophy exam tomorrow. I'm not going
to get much sleep. :(

Take care, everyone!

Michael

_Michael Andrew Lowry_
EMAIL michaell@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu
SNAIL L145 Prather 305 E. 21st Street / Austin, Texas 78705-9004 / U.S.A.
PHONE +1-512-495-512
QUOTE   _____________________________________________________________
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Organization: Sophomore, Physics, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA