HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dkm2@ra.msstate.edu (David K. Magee)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Potential vs. Reality
Date: 15 Sep 92 03:17:52 GMT
Organization: Mississippi State University

One day this kid asks his father the difference between potential and reality.
The father responds "you know old man Johnson down the street?"

the kid says "sure, everybody knows that rich old man"

The father tells the kid to ask his mother if she would sleep with old man 
Johnson for $500,000.  He comes back and says his mother would.

The father then tells the kid to ask his sister the same question.  The kid comes back and says his sister would too.

the father tells the kid-  well potentially we are millionares, however, in
reality, we are living with two whores.



-- 
+------------------------+-----------------------------------------------------+
| David K. Magee         | "Do you realize that flouridation is the most       |
| Grad Student MIS       |  monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot |
|                        |  that we have ever had to face?"                    |
From: shaig@Think.COM (Shai Guday)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Dark is Faster than Light
Date: 10 Sep 1992 17:58:09 GMT
Organization: Thinking Machines Corporation, Cambridge MA, USA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: merlin.think.com

In article <BuDCC2.n28@scd.hp.com>, dianem@boi.hp.com (Diane Mathews) writes:
|> 
|> No, everybody has it wrong!  There is no such thing as light, only dark.
|> Dark is made up of heavy little paricles called darktrons.  What we refer
|> to as "light" is simply the absence of dark.  What you call "lights" is
|> a euphemism for "darktron absorbers."  When "lights" are "on", then they
|> are absorbing darktrons in the room.  That's why when you open a door to
|> a dark room there is a linear lightish path to the nearest darktron absorber.

Thats also why light bulbs (or darksuckers as they should properly
be called) go black when they are full of darktrons. 
Some of the dark that they have stored removes light from their
surface.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes
From: st1ns@rosie.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.)
Subject: Re: amusing system errors
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 03:39:00 GMT

In article <1992Sep14.131909.24555@solaris.rz.tu-clausthal.de>, ubhjp@sun.rz.tu-clausthal.de (H.-J. Pfeffer) writes...
>Ref: old micro's ...
> 
>I remember my first DOS-PC saying :                                   
>               "keyboard not connected - press F1 to continue ..."
> 

Still the bane of tech support people is the (l)user who calls and asks:

                                   _______  
All right, I give up, where's the || ANY || key?
                                  ||_____||
                                  |_______|

It happens so often that I added an ANY key character to my keycaps font so 
that I could put it in joke documentation.  It's been quite popular on buttons,
too.

>>>>

Seen on a T-shirt:  

     You, sir, are no human being.
From: al162929@academ01.mty.itesm.mx (Luis Manuel Milan Leal)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Joke about JFK (because you asked, that's why!)
Date: 9 Sep 92 16:23:30 GMT


Down here in Mexico, after the earthquake of '85 and after the San Juanico
oil storage tanks blew up, the jokes started 2 days later. I remember some of
them, but most of them can't be translated to english. Like , 'You know why do
the people of San Juanico hate beans? Too much gas'. Or the jokes about how to
fit 30 San Juanico kids inside a car (inside the ashtray). Its got to do with
human psychology (behavior, whatever). You joke because you care about them.

                                                     V'uarnet


            //____//  'Para subir al cielo se necesita una escalera grande'
          //____//    'Una escalera grande, arriba y arriba, arriba y arriba'
        //____//                                             -- La Bamba
      //____// *************************************************************
    //____//   Luis Manuel Milan Leal (aka) al162929@academ01.mty.itesm.mx *
  //____//     Last seen in: Monterrey, Mexico  or playing at Copper Diku  *
//    //       *************************************************************
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mgoodwin@nmsu.edu (Michael E Goodwin)
Subject: joke
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Distribution: rec.humor
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 16:03:10 GMT


	A father is sitting on the couch reading the newspaper when
his son walks into the room. The little boy has both of his hands
clasped together and is holding them up to his eye, as if he was
looking at something in them.
	
little boy: Daddy, is there such a thing as boy flies?

father (looking up from the paper): Yes, there are boy flies.

The little boy brings his hands back up to his face and peers into his
hands.

little boy: Daddy, is there such a thing as girl flies?

father (not wanting to explain sex to his son yet): Nope, no girl flies!

little boy: Oh, ok...

The boy looks back down at his hands. 

little boy (a few minutes later): Are you sure there are no girl flies?

father: Yes, I am sure. There are no such things as girl flies.

The little boy makes a disgusting look, then smashes his hands together.

little boy: FAGGOTS!!!
From: mlh@eddy.austin.ibm.com (Mike Haskell)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Nursery Rhyme
Date: 9 Sep 92 01:06:25 GMT
Organization: IBM, Austin

In article <92249.181617HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu> <HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>
>In article <92248.165547TPATTERS@ESTEC.BITNET>, <TPATTERS@ESTEC.BITNET> says:
>>
>>Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
>>Jill came down with half-a-crown for doing what she shouldn't oughta!
>>
>>Tim
>
>Although I'm not an Andrew Dice Clay fan, I have to admit that my favourite
>version of this old theme is by him:
>
>Jack and Jill went up the hill,
>each with a buck and a quarter.
>jill came back with $2.50.  That fuckin' whore...
>

How about:
	Lil miss hubberd went to her cupboard;
		to fetch her dog a bone;
	When she bent over, ole Rover took over;
		and slipped her a bone of his own.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: colinl@cssc-syd.tansu.com.au (Colin Lynch)
Subject: Re: WOODY ALLEN'S NEW FILIM
Organization: Customised Software Solutions Centres, AOTC
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 07:49:33 GMT

gtr0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (GLEN TORLEIF RYEN) writes:

>In article <butler.715855465@norton>, butler@norton.sni.de (Butler) writes:
>>
>>Q.   HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT WODDY ALLENS NEW FILIM ???????????
>>A:   HONEY I FUCKED THE KIDS   :-)      =B-)
>>
>T'would appear that jokes aren't getting to Germany quite fast enough.

>OBJokes:
>    Q>  How do you catch a unique rabbit?
>    A>  Unique up on him.
>    Q2> How do you catch a tame rabbit?
>    A2> Tame way.

>Glen

	Along the same vein:

	Q> What is poignancy?
	A> Its wot happens to wabbits after too much wooting.

-- 
	Colin Lynch - AOTC Ltd     | e-mail: colinl@cssc-syd.tansu.com.au
      Advanced Network Products    | postal: PO Box A226 Sydney South
    Customised Software Solutions  |         NSW 2000  Australia
           Centre  -  Sydney       | phone:  +61-2-9113142   fax: 9113199
From: t9114240@phillip.edu.au
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: More Ascii Pics
Date: 7 Sep 92 21:43:42 GMT
Organization: RMIT (Bundoora Campus)

In article <cm182s182.04eh@pdrome.UUCP>, cm182s182@pdrome.UUCP (Clayton Miner) writes:
> To the poster of the ASCII babes...
>  
>     You are either very sick or very talented or both...
>  
>       That is an extremely rare combination these days, keep up the good work!
>  
> Skeksis

*** Whats al this i hear about ascii babes? Could someone please repost them so 
*** that I can see the handiwork??

***  thanx ADRIAN
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dtschett@scott.skidmore.edu (donna tschetter)
Subject: ==:-} KRAMER FOR PRESIDENT!
Organization: Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs NY
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 20:22:26 GMT

THE ONLY CANDIDATE FOR '92 !!!

SEINFELD'S OWN "KRAMER"

ORDER YOUR SHIRT TODAY 518-235-0994!!!!

HE STANDS FOR "THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER...!"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pa56680@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (P. Ialamanna)
Subject: Re: Hello
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 01:43:17 GMT

In article <1992Sep14.225318.20487@wam.umd.edu> ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect) writes:
>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>OK. You can call me ray.
>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
Don't you have anything better to say?


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal)
Subject: Re: Vampire jokes
Organization: liver ---> spleen
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 16:13:46 GMT

In article <1992Sep11.191334.24532@orlith.bates.edu> splummer@orlith.bates.edu (Sarah Plummer) writes:

>I have two favorite jokes which I just have to share.  My friends at home
>and school are sick of them, but I tell them to every new person I meet.

first old joke deleted.

>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Now for my very favorite:

Second old joke deleted.

Looks like the Freshmaen have started school discovered netnews.

OBJoke:

PILOT HARASSMENT

An Argentine newspaper reports that bored penguins living on the
Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game.
Noting that the local Royal Air Force pilots are fascinated by
penguins, the birds congregate on a beach where the pilots fly over,
and turn their heads slowly in unis up, up, up, and ten thousand
airplanes run out of fuel and fall splashing into the ocean."

-Pilot Magazine
-- 
Sam Saal      kingfish!saal OR saal@kingfish.att.com
	Vayiftach HaShem et Peah Ha`Aton
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ahmad@seas.gwu.edu (Aftab Ahmad)
Subject: Cartoon
Organization: George Washington University
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 19:07:10 GMT



	I saw this in a cartoon. 

	A weight lifter is coming to perform to the stage with
	a laborer. The laborer has ALL the weights on his shoulder.


Xref: sparky rec.humor:28214 soc.culture.polish:2500 alt.censorship:7411
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Date: 10 Sep 92 01:42:17 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Aug28.154306.17938@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>What kind of idiot are you? Look at the group title: soc.culture.polish
>this has nothing to do with dog jokes. So why don't you post this crap
>in rec.humor.

I'm not sure what kind of idiot he is but I can tell you what kind of idiot
he isn't .

He isn't the kind of idiot that includes 94 lines from an article only to
include three lines of text.

He isn't the kind of idiot that doesn't read the Newsgroups line so doesn't
realize that the joke was actually posted to rec.humor as well.

He is, however, an idiot with a sense of humor.

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira     | Auspex Systems | "Auspex does not share my opinions.  |
| johnf@auspex.com | Santa Clara CA |  So Why am I still working here?"    |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: tweaver@hobbes.kzoo.edu (Tim Weaver)
Subject: Re: Lawyer jokes needed!!!!!!!!
Organization: Kalamazoo College
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 15:21:37 GMT


>   Help my G.P.A.......
>
>   My law prof. offered to up anyone's grade a whole
>   letter if they could bring in just one joke that
>   makes lawyers look good.  Please e-mail me any that
>   you can think of and I'll post a list of all the
>   good ones.
>
Only a lawyer or a political campaign director could twist 
reality enough to accomplish this one.
-- 
|Timothy E. Weaver           | Kalamazoo College  |  (616) 337-7323        |
|Database Programmer/Analyst | 1200 Academy       | These are MY opinions! |
|email:  tweaver@kzoo.edu    | Kalamazoo MI 49006 | Mine!!  Mine!!  Mine!! |
+----------------------------+--------------------+------------------------+
From: davevh@cs.arizona.edu (Dave Van Horn)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Ascii Pic.
Summary: Backslashes, pipes, and brackets yeild a picture.
Keywords: ascii
Date: 9 Sep 92 01:39:44 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: U of Arizona CS Dept, Tucson

Some one asked for ascii picturs a while ago.  I saw this guy's sig in
alt.hackers.  I think it's worth posting.

-- 
Steve McDowell             . . . . o o o o o 		Opinions are 
Exlog, Inc.	                  _____      o     	mine, not my 
mcdowell@exlog.com      _____====  ]OO|_n_n__][.    	employers..
		       [_________]_|__|________)<   
	                ooo   ooo  'oo OOOOO oo\_   





--
|\            /   / |"This is real,        | davevh@caslon.cs.arizona.edu
|  \        /   /   | This is now.         | #include <std_disclaimer.h>
|  / \    / ~~/     | This is a freak      | dan@potatoe.gov (Danny) writes:
|/     \/   /       | show, baby, anyhow." | >I don't get it.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:28100 alt.folklore.urban:23057 rec.arts.sf.misc:2840
From: deanc@ex.heurikon.com (Dean Cheney)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.sf.misc
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Date: 5 Sep 92 22:11:39 GMT
Reply-To: deanc@ex.heurikon.com (Dean Cheney)
Organization: Entropy Inc., Madison, WI


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF THIS DOESN'T STOP, IM GOING TO START THE WORST CASCADE EVER.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHILE EATING THIS SLOP, I SEWED THE FIRST BROCADE BEAVER.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>BILE FITTING RIG STOP, LIE SPEWED THIRST LIVER !!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE, AT LEAST DELIVER...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHO MAY I ATTRIBUTE TO THIS BEASTLY SLIVER?
>>>>>>>>>>>>TO SPAY A LUTE IN A GREASY RIVER
>>>>>>>>>>>DAMN CASCADERS THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER
>>>>>>>>>>I WILL NOT CASCADE; NOPE, NO, NEVER
>>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A TRAIN?
>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, IN THE RAIN?
>>>>>>>R2-D2 ON THE BRAIN?
>>>>>>This cascade is damn insane!
>>>>>And it's really getting lame!
>>>>POST IN CAPS YOU WEIRDOS, WHAT ARE YOU DEAF ? !!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>YOUVE RUINED MY RIGHT EAR, HOW 'BOUT THE LEFT?
>>LEFT AT THE NEXT LIGHTS, UNLESS RED
>THIS SILLY THING IS SOMETHING I DREAD, 
>BETTER I SHOULD BE BUSY IN BED !
WANKER, GIVE THY HAND A REST!












bleah :(
--
deanc@ex.heurikon.com    \        /When I get mad, and I get pissed/
                         /        /I grab a pen and I write out a list/
                         \        /of all the people that won't be missed/
                         /        /you've  made  my... Shitlist!/          ---L7
From: HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Date: 11 Sep 92 01:42:55 GMT
 <1992Sep10.204201.27624@gopher.dosli.govt.nz>
Organization: Penn State University

In my younger years I worked as a DJ at a progressive radio station.
I wanted to use the airname BUSTER HYMEN.  I worked the morning drive
time.

You know, "I like to Buster in the morning?"

They said no fucking way...

I met a guy one who was name Richard Gizzdik.
You figure it out.  :-)

Hans C. Masing | HCM100@PSUVM.psu.edu  | Penn State University MIS Dept |
"What's the matter, you dissentious rogues, that in scratching the poor
itch of your opinion make yourselves scabs?" - Will Shakespeare
Xref: sparky rec.humor:28630 aus.jokes:1245
From: raistlin@wixer.cactus.org (Eli Boaz)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes
Subject: Re: amusing system errors
Date: 15 Sep 92 00:39:37 GMT
Organization: Real/Time Communications

In article <1992Sep14.131909.24555@solaris.rz.tu-clausthal.de> ubhjp@sun.rz.tu-clausthal.de (H.-J. Pfeffer) writes:
>Ref: old micro's ...
>
>I remember my first DOS-PC saying :                                   
>               "keyboard not connected - press F1 to continue ..."
>

Or the error code "Power Supply Failure" that was included in the
original PC's??

-- 
Eli Boaz                      | Line noise provide by S.W. Bell Telephone!
raistlin@wixer.cactus.org     | "Anyone not wearing 2 million sunblock is
...!cactus.org!wixer!raistlin |  going to have a REAL BAD DAY, get it?" -T2
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: jle@locus.com (John Elghani/10000000)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Names
Date: 15 Sep 92 01:07:12 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: LC

In article <1992Sep14.195629.897@mdd.comm.mot.com> mccart@MDI.COM writes:
>What do you call a woman with no arms and one leg?
>Eilene

Q: What do you call a woman with out an asshole?

A: Divorced.

-John
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle
From: cowan@aqua.ocunix.on.ca (Darin Cowan (root))
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Oracle Survey
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 92 22:28:45 GMT
Organization: The Aquarium, Ottawa, Ontario

I see you liked my response... I got two answers in your list :-)
From: bwc@waikato.ac.nz (Ug!)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Usenet Oracularity #475-05
Date: 8 Sep 92 11:48:56 +1200
Organization: Vooniersity fo Kaiwato

Ian Chai writes:
> oracle-vote@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu writes:
> 
>>Selected-By: RICH MCGEE <MCGEE@nic.CSU.net>
> 
>>The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>>Your question was:
> 
>>> ######## ######## ####### ######    ####### ####### ### ####### ###
>>> NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL HEADER -- FEDERAL PENALTY FOR PRIVATE USE
>>> ######## ######## ####### ######    ####### ####### ### ####### ###
> 
> Man! That was *such* a hilarious question! I wish it got a better
> answer.


I agree.  I got the question, thought up a reply (where IUVAX got hijacked
by terrorists), then thought - nah.  I'll let someone else more experienced
reply...

Now I wish I *had* replied...
						Ug!
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
From: chai@m.cs.uiuc.edu (Ian Chai)
Subject: Re: Usenet Oracularity #475-05
Organization: University of Illinois, Dept. of Comp. Sci., Urbana, IL
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 05:48:38 GMT

oracle-vote@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu writes:

>Selected-By: RICH MCGEE <MCGEE@nic.CSU.net>

>The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>Your question was:

>> ######## ######## ####### ######    ####### ####### ### ####### ###
>> NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL HEADER -- FEDERAL PENALTY FOR PRIVATE USE
>> ######## ######## ####### ######    ####### ####### ### ####### ###

Man! That was *such* a hilarious question! I wish it got a better
answer.
From: newsmgr@exodus.valpo.edu
Subject: Re: Usenet Oracularity #475-05
Organization: Valparaiso University
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 19:36:17 GMT
X-Posted-From: exodus.valpo.edu
X-Posted-Through: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

In article <1992Sep8.114856.10675@waikato.ac.nz>, bwc@waikato.ac.nz (Ug!)
writes:

>>>The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>>>Your question was:
>> 
>>>> ######## ######## ####### ######    ####### ####### ### ####### ###
>>>> NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL HEADER -- FEDERAL PENALTY FOR PRIVATE USE
>>>> ######## ######## ####### ######    ####### ####### ### ####### ###
>> 
>> Man! That was *such* a hilarious question! I wish it got a better
>> answer.
> 
> 
> I agree.  I got the question, thought up a reply (where IUVAX got hijacked
> by terrorists), then thought - nah.  I'll let someone else more experienced
> reply...
> 
> Now I wish I *had* replied...
> 						Ug!

Post yours here if you have it written.  I'd like to see it.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
From: chai@m.cs.uiuc.edu (Ian Chai)
Subject: Re: Usenet Oracularity #475-05
Organization: University of Illinois, Dept. of Comp. Sci., Urbana, IL
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 21:07:40 GMT

Bravo, Ian! I indeed liked your answer *much* better!

(and I'm not just saying that because we have the same first name 8-)

Ian
From: doehr@magellan.den.mmc.com (Brett B. Doehr)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Re: Oracle FAQ?
Date: 7 Sep 92 17:53:46 GMT
Organization: Martin Marietta Astronautics Group

In article <1992Sep7.131255.90020@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au>, che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au writes:
|> In article <1992Sep7.135514.10646@waikato.ac.nz>, bwc@waikato.ac.nz (Ug!) writes:
|> > Oh great Usenet Oracle,
|> > oh galactic shining wit,
|> > whose splendour spans the heavens,
|> > and whose expositions fills us all with those wonderful squidgy feelings,
|> > 
|> > Do you have a FAQ?  If so, what is it?
|>    Where is it?
|>                

Ah, but the critical question has not been posed: When is it?
Unfortunately, it does not yet exist in this timestream.  The
closest you can get is the Oracular help file, available for
no charge (unlike Oracular answers like this one) by posting
to rec.humor.oracle (or sending to oracle.moose.cs.indiana.edu)
an item of mail with the word help in the Subject line.

You owe the Oracle a who, a why, and a how.
From: rupa@f-454.fidonet.org (Rupa Schomaker)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: fidonet oraclular apprentice
Date: Mon, 07 Sep 1992 09:14:00 -0600

I have been copying the oracluar digests into the FUNNY echo on fidonet.  They
have been met enthusiasm, and a one of the people there decided to follow in the
oracle's footsteps.

The following 10 articles are some of his replies to questions.  Hope ya'll like
'em.

--
   UUCP -> rupa@f-454.fidonet.org     FidoNet ->  1:106/1024

  Unquestionably, it is possible to do without happiness; it is
  done involuntarily by neneteen twentieths of mankind.
          John Stuart Mill
From: chai@m.cs.uiuc.edu (Ian Chai)
Subject: Re: Usenet Oracularity #476-07
Organization: University of Illinois, Dept. of Comp. Sci., Urbana, IL
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 22:35:04 GMT

oracle-vote@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu writes:

>Selected-By: Carole Susan Fungaroli <csf7m@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU>

>The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>Your question was:

>> Oh dearest Oracle....whose wisdom is unequaled....and who has good
>> taste in music...
>> I need your help...
>> What do you do about a man who has betrayed you....
>>
>> ----A desparate (but humble) woman

>And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

>} Lock him outside naked in December in Quebec.
>}
>} You owe the Oracle his watch.

What??? I don't *believe* that made it! It was 2 am and I was falling
asleep over the keyboard and it *makes* it??? And the ones I slave and
research over *don't*???

And in response, thus spake the Unracle:

Right. So don't research your answers so hard.

You owe the Unracle a CDROM copy of the Encyclopedia Britainica.
From: ifaq570@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Allen Kitchen)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Muses
Date: 4 Sep 92 13:34:47 GMT
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin


	Oh great and powerful Oracle, whose knowledge spans the known
Universe (and a few blocks downtown we would rather forget), whose toe hairs
are soft as silk, whose body noises can shame the greatest symphony, and 
whose tolerance for PanGalactic GargleBlasters has no equal (or nutrasweet).
This humble and pitiful suplicant, who is not worthy to contemplate the 
texture of your phlegm, begs you to tell me...
	Will we ever have an exciting-to-watch Superbowl game ever again?
One with, perchance, equally matched teams?

Allen Kitchen
ifaq570@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu
From: bwc@waikato.ac.nz (Ug!)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
Subject: Oracle FAQ?
Date: 7 Sep 92 13:55:13 +1200
Organization: Vooniersity fo Kaiwato

Oh great Usenet Oracle,
oh galactic shining wit,
whose splendour spans the heavens,
and whose expositions fills us all with those wonderful squidgy feelings,

Do you have a FAQ?  If so, what is it?
							Ug!
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d
From: Andrew McCallum <andrewm@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Re: Oracle FAQ?
X-To: CHE238N@VAXC.CC.MONASH.ED
Organization: The Zoo of Ids
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 04:11:00 GMT

From che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au
>In article <1992Sep7.135514.10646@waikato.ac.nz>, bwc@waikato.ac.nz (Ug!) write
>:
>> Oh great Usenet Oracle,
>> oh galactic shining wit,
>> whose splendour spans the heavens,
>> and whose expositions fills us all with those wonderful squidgy feelings,
>>
>> Do you have a FAQ?  If so, what is it?
>   Where is it?

    Really? I thought it was Who, but I guess he's still on first.



---
    .sig's are neat,                   | Andrew McCallum
    .sig's are fun,                     \ andrewm@zooid.guild.org
    .sig's tell where to flame someone.  |andrewm@terranet.cts.com