From: LANDSBERG@sbhep2.phy.sunysb.edu (Greg Landsberg)
Subject: Zeleny stinks
Organization: SUNY at Stony Brook
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 22:16:52 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.20

In    <1992Dec24.033626.18818@husc3.harvard.edu>  zeleny@husc10.harvard.edu
tediously,  naturalistically,  vulgarly, boorishly,  loutishly, slapdashly,
paranoidally,  sincerely, pukely,  vomitly,  hysterically, hallucinatically
wishes me happy holidays:

(GL) P.S. To Whom It May Concern - Merry Christmas!

(MZ) You should not have said that...  (Being that, by his own admission,
(MZ) Landsberg keeps Harvard in his KILL file, the following holiday wish will
(MZ) not affect his mental health in any way.)  

Yep, I  used to  keep Harvard  (should I  say  "Ham"vard?) in  my kill file
before the group has  been flooded with all this  Turkish/Armenian/Estonian
bullshit. After that (being a  solipsist, as you remember) I decided to let
some of these  ``enfants terrible''  to mentally  masturbate on my screen -
you know, sometimes all of us perform some strange actions. I keeped in the
KILL file only the loutishest of you. Not that you wasn't among them, but I
just like your green color which is  an evidence of your unripeness. I just
keep  watching how you  are turning  yellow. But  don't  worry, your mental
abortions can't affect my mental  health anyhow - first of all because they
are just  products of my  mentality  (remember, I am a  solipsist!) and the
second,  because the  thick screen  of my  favourite  X-terminal makes your
tough thoughts as funny and amazing as spirochetal piranhas in an aquarium.
So, let it go:

(MZ)                                           Landsberg, I wish that a rabid
(MZ) battle elephant of a reprobate syphilitic maharajah would penetrate your
(MZ) well-plumbed lower intestine with his leprous trunk, reach clear through
(MZ) your bloated belly, rip out the pulsating pump of putrescent, piss-thin
(MZ) ichor which circulates through your vulgarian veins, and ram it deep down
(MZ) your greedy gullet.
(MZ) 
(MZ) yours in santa claustrophobia
(MZ) mikhail zeleny@husc.harvard.edu

You described it so paintful (no, it's not colorful, because it's a work of
a daubster rather than  an artist), so detailed  that I immediately started
to feel sorry about you, my teddy bear. I appreciate your good intention to
wish me the same as happens to you every Christmas Eve, thinking that it is
the top of  bliss and  ecstasy. I'm sorry,  my little  scamp, but I have to
kindly reject your good  intentions. Not that I  think that it's not a fun,
but first of all I  celebrate Hanuka (which has  been denoted by the way by
``To Whom It May Concern'') rather than Christmas and the second, I like my
original  color and  don't want  to turn  green (or  blue) as  it obviously
happened to you on the very first Christmas Eve of your poor life.

And let me  give you a hint,   Elephanto-Trunko-Fucked  Fried Green Tomato:
keep your  asshole corked -  may be it'd  stop the  aforementioned elephant
from yearly brain-washing you from inside, though I doubt it...

As to the rest of your post, my dear  mental offshoot, I get used to answer
only constructive critics.

Absolutely sincerely,

Greg Landsberg

P.S. To Whom It May Concern   - Marry Christmas!
P.P.S. To The Rest Of Netters - Happy Hanuka!
Xref: sparky soc.culture.soviet:11732 talk.politics.soviet:10144 soc.culture.europe:10942