HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Ship jumping (was Boss Peeve)
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 01:54:37 GMT

In article <1992Sep30.182025.28850@twg.com> nolan@twg.com writes:
>
>jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) said:
>
>
>|
>|>Old Caterpillar?  I think not.  You best lay in some Cuervo, boy.  Even
>|>when I was nuttin' but a cheap ho' I insisted on quality licker!  Also, you
>|>best be ready to get past my new Chef/Bodyguard, Charles, whose job descrip-
>|>tion includes protecting what little virtue I have left.
>|>
>|>I wouldn't leave Miss Kitty behind so quick...
>
>Shuckins, Ma'am, If'n 'taint got that little feller in the bottle, 'taint the
>real thang. Gotta have that bit of protein in thar for vittles. Gotta smuggle
>it north of the border tho...
>

Ain't got no problem with the worm, sonny.  Why my ol' man an' me, we been 
known to drink down to the worm, then each start a-nibblin' at one end o'
the little feller and meet in the middle, all roman-ick like.

The thang is, friend, any booze what's named for the critters what live in
it, ain't good booze.  Not by my standards.  Mescal is most allus appreciated,
esp the kind with the picter of the lil fella on it, hauling his cartoon ass
across the label.  You know, the kind that come wit' a small burlap bag o'
white pepper 'round the neck, just a-waitin' to spice up yer tequila swilin'
experience.

I hope this clarifies the matter for you, stranger, and remember, yer
welcome any time at the Peevetown Diner - where your coffee cup is
never empty, and the juke box is ever-rockin'

Jenny G

-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 13:32:20 GMT

In article <lc84f7INN37f@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:

>
>Anyway, Jenny, Buck knew how best to *serve* the alt.peeves
>community.  It's entirely possible that you know how best to
>*sevice* the alt.peeves community, but that isn't why anyone here
>would be visiting your restaurant.
>

For Chist's sake, Banta, surely you are intelligent & imaginative to
find domething else to pick on me about.  *I* am sick of this thread.
You said sometime back that *you* were sick of this thread.  I'd be
pretty willing to bet that *everyone* (except Nolan, but he's probably
the exception that proves the rule) is sick of this thread.

So why don't you find something new to go on about?

We'd all appreciate it.

Thank you.

Jenny

-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Commercials-on-the-brain
Keywords: plop plop fizz fizz
Date: 5 Oct 92 21:15:58 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Micrsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <17729@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:

>Gee, thanks, Geoff. Its bad enough that I cannot walk into a bar
>anymore without worrying about being beat to vapor by some hormone-crazed
>Kampus Rent-a-Kop or having some shrill hobo screaming at me about
>how unfair it was that a cop shot a psychopathic machete-wielding PMS
>crazed hobo-ette in a private home. Now, I get to worry that my own
>fellow peevers are contemplating doing the old Vegematic on innocent,
>yet inebriated pub-going bunny huggers like myself. (Not to mention
>skateboarding CD buyers, cute little Lolitas, crazed pizza delivery
>boys, or greying Quakers).

Heavens, no!  Not on any of the above, but on the crazed, violent out-of
towners who were breaking windows and beating on relatively innocent people
such as the ones you mentioned.  After all, I mentioned Berkeley *rioters,*
not Berkeley *dwellers.*  I've got nothing at all against the locals.


>Peeve: Outsiders who think they know what is good for a city they
>don't live in.

Oh come on, Elaine, it's not like Berserkeley is some kind of isolated 
civilization with an esoteric culture and social problems that are 
unfathomable to outsiders.  The place may be a bit weird, but it's not 
incomprehensible.  Berkeley is a city in the same general locale as my own, 
and one that's part of the same general social fabric.  Last time I was in 
Berkeley, I didn't even need my passport or my Berlitz phrase book.

And it's certainly not like the place's problems are difficult to figure
out.  Berkeley has problems today because of a city government that's allowed
the hyperpermissive anything-goes atmosphere to run rampant.  Word got around,
and eventually some ruffians from Oakland realized they could go up there
and raise considerable hell, and do so with impunity.  And for a few days,
they did precisely that.  A person doesn't have to live over there to under-
stand what went on.  I'm a big social libertarian, but even I acknowledge
that there have to be certain limits.

Having lived in the Bay Area most of my life, I've had a veritable ringside
seat for the goings on over there.  It's not like I'm a johnny-come-lately 
from, say, Brooklyn.  :)


Geoff


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 "I have never been kicked in the nuts by a dead or unconscious person, but
it's still possible to fuck 'em (and you don't have to put up with all those
        stupid grunts & whimpers or sarcastic comments" -- Mike Stok
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Newsgroups: alt.peeves


This has bothered me for a long time, because I cannot figure it out.
Any explanation will be greatly appreciated, especially from a woman.

          The Question: Why do women wear shoulder pads? 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Subject: Re: Death peeve
Originator: yarvin@cathy.CS.Yale.Edu
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 06:15:51 GMT

01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>Peeve #4) Every time I TELL them, and mention he was driving at the time, they
>ask: "Was alcohol involved?" That's a really tactless question, if you ask me.

Well, was it or wasn't it?


--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Belts
Date: 29 Sep 92 11:04:18 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <80663@ut-emx.uucp> logan@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Logan Shaw) writes:
=>In article <26186@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
=>>At this point I can interject with yet another piece of my hard-earned wisdom.
=>>Large belt buckles originate in the great state of Texas, and are necessary
=>>due to the size of bellies in the great state of Texas. Any buckle any
=>>smaller than a dustbin lid is going to be swamped by the acres of flaccid
=>>gut that the average Texan male (and female, come to think of it) carries
=>>round his waste. This arises because the Texan landscape is so inhospitable
             ^^^^^
      Ha! Nobody spotted my Freudian typo!!

=>>to man that venturing away from the automobile life-support system is
=>>doomed to failure.  Natural selection has proceeded to the point where the
=>>only life form capable of survival is a) the armadillo
=>
=>Where are all these armadillos?  I keep hearing about them, yet I've lived
=>in Texas 21 years now, and I don't recall ever having seen one.

I can only assume that you're blind. Take a drive down any FM road - those
squishy lumps in the middle of the road are armadillos that have been 
squashed by dumb farm workers driving pickup trucks. Go out in your back yard.
Listen for a rustling in the undergrowth. Pull back the bushes quickly, and
there ya go - an armadiller.

=>Anyway, have you *been* to Texas?

Unfortunately yes. As regular readers know, I spent five miserable years
there. I actually *lived* there, unlike that famous Texas "resident" George 
Bush.

=>  Have you been to the U.S.A.?  

And a couple of years in Taxachusetts

=>You're
=>confused about the origin of belt-buckles.  The majority of the cowboy
=>types are in Oklahoma anyway.  They have more oil there, and they have the
=>bad economy to go with it.

And I suppose the Texas economy is booming, right? 

=>Adios,

Spoken like a native.

-- 
=======Jeremy Henderson========jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk===============
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Subject: Re: *Virtual* Reality
Originator: yarvin@cathy.CS.Yale.Edu
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 03:05:28 GMT

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>In article <1992Sep28.200720.20823@cs.yale.edu> yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin) writes:
>>jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>>>As I said, Newton developed the calculus in response to Leibniz' attacks
>>>on Newton's world view.
>>
>>You do realize, I hope, that what you have just said could be used as a
>>description of just about any conversation?  And that therefore it says
>>almost nothing?
>
> [sarcasm deleted]

Evidently not.

The phrase in question is "attacks on X's world view."  A person's world
view is composed of everything he thinks about the world.  Therefore, if I
were to say that you are a complete airhead, I would be attacking your world
view.  (Unless, of course, you already knew that you are an airhead.)

So what has developed as a possibility is that Leibniz accused Newton of
being an airhead, and therefore Newton developed calculus.  Which is
evidently not what you meant, which is my point.  There is not the slightest
way of telling what you meant.

Perhaps for philosophers the phrase "world view" has some code meaning which
makes everything clear.  I am a simple engineer and can not be expected to
know what a "world view" is besides what a person thinks about the world.


--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
	"Honesty is the rarest commodity in this university."
		-- V. I. Fabrikant, Concordia U
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Story: choose the proper weapon for the job
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Date: 6 Oct 92 21:49:45 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <1992Oct6.180217.2084@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>In article <1992Oct6.162741.24335@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:
>
>>Reprint from the Peevestown dispatch, Oct. 6, l992:
>
>	{funniest damn article I've seen in months deleted for brevity}
>
>>   With all the Testosterone crazed major lunatics departed, the bunny
>>hugging, granola munchers seize control of Peevetown, immediately declaring
>>a holiday in honor of Ralf Nader, and commence a tofu lubricated drug and
>>sex orgy punctuated with M.L.King's speech screaching over loud speakers.
>
>	<klaxon sound>  Geoff!  Russ!  We've been flanked!  Enemy to the
>rear!  Repeat, enemy to the rear!  You go for the loud speakers, I'll
>take out the catering truck.

It's OK Dan - I left claymores all around the town square.  A little
touch of the remote... <damn, where'd I put... Ahhh... nope... there
it is> <FWOOMP><FWOOMP><FWOOMP><FWOOMP>.

Problem solved.  Also, since I left the 8mm video in place we can
settle once and for all the "snuff" question.

>	I wonder, how well would an orgy video sell when the film was
>taken from a gun camera?

Getting into necrophilia, Dan?

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home
Will hack unix for food 		(.sig stolen from dt - sorry, dt)
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Date: 2 Oct 92 00:04:07 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <92Oct01.135915.21445@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
>In article <1992Sep30.021600.7936@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>>I just want to know what he did with the rabbits after punching their
>>tickets with a 12 gauge.  Not a lot of Mr. Bunny left after hitting
>>them with 1.25 oz of lead pellets at 800 fps...
>
>    Hmmm...I *have* shot the little furry bastards with a 12ga.
>    I stopped because I hated biting into shot, but they were
>    still quite edible/recognisable. Are your rabbits so dumb
>    that you are getting to 10ft to fire?

Uh-uh, not me.  I was replying to someone else that claimed that he
waited until they were 20 yards away and popped them with a 12 with #6
shot.

Figuring a modified choke and a 1 1/8 ounce load of shot, he'd likely
get 150 shot into the rabbit (a 20 yard pattern from a modified would
be about 16 inches, 1 1/8 ounces of #6 would be about 260 pellets).
That's a bit more than I'd like to nibble on.

Dan "The Man" Sorenson would mow 'em down with a combine, I'd use a
.22 with hollowpoints, and a friend of mine would sneak up on them and
buttstroke them with his M-16.  But damn few people would blow them
away with a field load from a 12 guage unless he were intending to
feed the cats with the remainder.

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home
Will hack unix for food 		(.sig stolen from dt - sorry, dt)
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Keywords: Peace Is Our Profession
Date: 29 Sep 92 16:18:27 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Strategic Air Command
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Sep28.213723.1349@parsifal.umkc.edu> gcombs@parsifal.umkc.edu
(Gerald Combs) writes:

>They evidently spent some money on microwaves designed not to do the terrible
>things to bread and meat that microwaves normally do.


Being an occasional visitor to a strange little backwater newsgroup called
alt.food.mcdonalds, I discovered that these are known euphemistically among
the McDonalds illuminati as "Q ovens," "Q" as in "queue."  The employees
are reportedly browbeaten about not being forthright and calling them 
microwaves.

This newsgroup, incidentally, is more than a little on the bizarre side.
The posters comprise two main subsets, the rah-rah, starry-eyed, squeaky 
clean, wholsome McDonalds groupies (mostly current and former employees) 
and the odd rabid, wild-eyed militant vegetarian.  

For reasons that have never been clear to me, the latter seem to regard 
McDonalds as Evil Incarnate.  It's not just the allegations of rainforest
depletion resulting from supposed purchase of South American beef; McDonalds
seems to have become a lightning rod for all kinds of vague, inchoate angst
emanating from the anarcho-leftist set.  I've detected subtle undertones of 
this sentiment here and there occasionally in society at large, and it's 
interesting how no other fast food enterprise seems to attract significant
hostility or resentment from the ranks of the Perpetually Indignant.  Even
Burger King evidently escapes comment, despite its being the second-largest
fast food company.  (Of course, it's no surprise to me that Taco Bell gets
off scot-free; in the mindset of these people, an attack on Taco Bell would
probaby be equated with an attack on a minority culture, which would be un-PC.)

The company seems to represent a composite of all the usual societal boogey-
men to these folks: artificiality, massive beef consumption, environmental
"insensitivity" <gack>, etc., etc., ad nauseum.  One of these guys (some
Stanford type) even went so far as to label it a "deathkultur."  

So in accordance with my well known infinite patience with militant 
vegetarians, I felt obligated to flame the shit out of him.


Geoff


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"AirheadPeeve:  Wasting time rebutting someone's attack on your intelligence,
  when you could be watching Beverly Hills 90210 and getting some totally
   bitchin' fashion tips.  Like what a total waste." -- Jenny Gutbezahl
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From: sdt8s@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Steve Tilson)
Newsgroups: alt.flame.spelling,alt.peeves
Subject: Re: A definate handicap
Date: 29 Sep 92 03:28:45 GMT
Organization: University of Virginia

cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com  writes:
> shag@aero.org (Robert M. Unverzagt) writes: 
> | In article <1992Sep6.001706.3520@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:
> | >
> | >		[spelling flame deleted]
> | >
> | > I *will* point out that this came from rec.humor.funny, but I don't find
> | > it all that humorous.  I see people get out of cars at drive-thru machines
> | > all the time.  Suppose I'm a passenger and ask the driver to stop by the
> | > bank for me. I'm on the wrong side of the car and either have to get out
> | > or give the driver my secret code number.  While I might give that number
> | > to a lot of friends because I trust them and/or assume that they'll forget
> | > it before we hit the bank driveway, I certainly wouldn't pass it out to
> | > just anyone I happened to be in the car with.
> |                                           ^^^^
> | Can I include a grammar flame in alt.flame.spelling?  Thank you.
> 
> You can if you can find one. Ending a sentence with a preposition is 
> considered "bad style" and "to be avoided when possible", but it is not
> and never has been a grammatical error.
> 
> +--------------------------------------------------+
> |Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
> |cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
> +--------------------------------------------------+
> |Dr. Pavlov's distinguished career came to an      |
> |abrupt end one day when the doorbell rang and the |
> |dog ate the Avon lady.                            |
> +--------------------------------------------------+

Personally, I think a preposition is a fine thing to end a
sentence with.
--
Language is a virus from Outer Space.      |-----------------------------|
And hearing your name                      | Steve Tilson                |
Is better                                  | sdt8s@poe.acc.virginia.edu  |
Than seeing your face.   (Laurie Anderson) |-----------------------------|
From: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Pained Whale?
Keywords: Losers
Date: 6 Oct 92 00:52:08 GMT
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu
Organization: Up the,

The pained wailing of my immortal soul is keeping me awake nights.

Obpeeve: I've managed to disgust myself with my own cooking.  In an 
experimental venture, I attempted to wing, so to speak, a dish of 
chicken parmiagiani.  So simple it couldn't go wrong, I thought, wrongly.
It just tasted bad.  The group has been somewhat boring lately anyway,
someone should post some recipes that actually work.  

Op!peeve:  When asked, last week, whether Perot's entering the race
would help or hurt the Bush campaign, Quayle responded by saying that
if Perot stays out it would help Bush, if Perot entered the race, it 
would help Bush.  When asked what he meant by that, the VP said,
"That's for you to figure out."

Despite having more candidates than most Presidential elections, the
people of 1992 seem to be in a many way tie for last place in number
of good presidential candidates.  The whole election is a shell game
in the sense that all the peas are off the table waiting for 96, the
three choices we have are empty shells, and we are all going to lose.

I have, in a never ending quest to satisfy my taste for the perverse,
been a weekly viewer of the 700 Club.  I am always amused to see Pat
Robertson take a question about the Bible and respond with something 
like, "Uh, well, it says in the book of, uh, Leviticus Chapter 2, verse,
uh, It says, People should be, um, good, and I think that applies to us
today."  But when asked about short term municipal bonds he rattles off,
"Yesterday the German government reduced its prime rate one quarter percent,
today, the Nikkei index closed up One hundred AND FIFTY yen,  meanwhile
the house, meeting in committee, is recommending a bill which would place 
a limit on the deductible status of such bonds, clearly, God willing, we 
can all stay in stocks a while longer."  

This last week I've seen a few episodes of much touted wit and Bush 
cheerleader (apologist isn't at all right) Rush Limbaugh's TV show.
I don't think the rants and simplistic barbs this man is launching
would land him in the upper 50% here in alt.peeves.  I'm not saying 
this because I disagree with his politics, either.  I would be greatly
pleased to  see him expose the hypocrisies of leftist types and hang
them with their own inconsistancies.  His insults are childish and seem
to lack content.  My reaction is more disappointment than anything else.


-- 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Essene & Chinese birth controls must reduce birth or Easter Isle 
type overpopulation destroys God's Spaceship Earth!  God's law 
prevents all conception below pH3.  Therefore, Essene contracepted
for 400 yrs. with rosehips, pH2!  So, absolute clean, apply vaseline,
oil, butter, or cream, insert teaspoon juicy lemon pulp pH2. O.K.!
Next day douche with qt. soapy water pH8, restoring pH5 balance God
made!" 
				-- Dr. Bronner's Pure-Castile Soap
"Or you could use a condom." 
		              Tim Mefford (tim@physics.orst.edu) O.K.!
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: *Virtual* Reality
Date: 29 Sep 92 19:28:20 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

I really had no intention of pissing on your wanking contest, but I
ran acorss this today, and thought I'd share it:

"In short, Socrates seems to be the philosophical napkin with which the
ensuing cultural thinkers of history wipe their mouths of pedantic
ooze."

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore