HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Michael A. Rigler)
Subject: 400 words
Organization: Ministry of Marqaha
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 21:29:10 GMT

bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com writes:
>gbloom@nyx.cs.du.edu (Gregory Bloom) writes:
># sho@gibbs.physics.purdue.edu (Sho Kuwamoto) writes:
># >"What's happening?" I ask, shielding my eyes.  "A man, a
># >plan, a transformation, Elohimes!" she responds.  Her voice
># >shakes the room, threatening to tear the racks of collector
># >thimbles off the very walls.  (In the background, the
># >Beatles sing, "...you don't look different, but you have
># >changed...")  It is now 3:14.
># >
># >She sees my confusion and tries to help.  "A maze," she
># >explains, "A puzzle, amazement.  A jigsaw spider."  At 3:57
># >she hands me the card of the hanged man.  "Eat it," she
># >commands.  "I must be inside you."
># >
># >The automatic coffee maker (whose clock reads a flashing
># >12:00) erupts.
># 
># Descent through nested groups.  The Mormon Choirmaster
># raises his baton expectantly.  "You see it's a spy-ay-ay
># slpits my buns..." warbles the Kenner Close-And-Play.
># An afterimage of the infant Mary's first milk-tooth
># stains the retina of all present.  4:44.
># 
># A web of strings, poised delicately to project a soft
># womb embrace, catches the eye of the lead Mezzo-Soprano.
># A moment of hesitation - all is lost.  A soured similac
># smell derails the focus.
># 
># I blink.  She stares twin steel rails into my hippocampus.
># "The 4:51 express is now boarding."  Click-click-click.
># One diagonal antispin transform and we're antislice.  
>
>Time is now. 13:59, but the coffee maker disagrees. The
>parson is looking under the bricks in the path to his
>door for the keys to paradise. To no avail. ``Have you
>asked the lady in the bottle?'' I ask.
>
>4:44, previous day: the drunken pirate staggers out into
>the material world.  "Aye, it's a good day to die," he
>mumbles.
>
>Now, it's 8:17. She's pondering the pile of salt someone
>left on her doorstep while we were inside making love.
>There's blood. It's getting cold, so I leave. I miss
>her, but our worlds are askew.

12:00 midnite, I make my sacrifice at the Temple of Woman
(the one down on E 43rd Street).  The Priestess gently
removes the oxyacetyline blowpipe from my hand.  "We just
couldn't feed him."  I tell her, lamely.  She points 
towards the doors.  

I catch a monorail to the starport, and lose myself counting
freighters.  Dawn (5:47) catches me still outdoors.  I don't
make it to a shelter in time.  They turn me away at the gates. 

Recalling the prophecy the lunatic made yesterday on the Plaza 
at 12:00 (high noon), I shout, "The Forest People shall have 
a new leader!"  

-=Rigler=-
--
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Short Shameful Confession
Followup-To: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.test,misc.test,misc.jobs.offered
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 16:30:15 GMT

Sometimes, when Im alone in the middle of the night, I wish that, just for
five minutes, I could be as cool as Bur.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.elvis.sighting
From: dmccart@gomez.intel.com (D. J. McCarthy)
Subject: Re: English usage
Organization: Funky Groovy Channel 27
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 03:03:24 GMT

byt@duvar.yazisi.oku (Bunu Yazan Tosun) wrote:

> Don't you guys have anything else to do?  I mean I started reading
> this group a week ago....

	For heaven's sake, man - don't ADMIT to it like that!


> And what's with
> everyone making fun of Richh Hep?  

	You've been around here for a whole WEEK and you haven't put
Rictus Hep in your KILL file yet?

Sad, very sad.



ObAnagram: Bunu Yazan Tosun -> AZ To Buy Nun Anus



--
D. J. McCarthy <dmccart@gomez.intel.com>
"You can go into a record store and buy a slice of my soul; why would you want
to see my pork flop around on stage?"
                                                        --Andy Partridge of XTC
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: The talk.bizarre virtual orgy
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 17:19:58 GMT


Yes, thats right, folks, a virtual orgy. Cum one cum all, this event will
be happening/not-happening all over the place, real soon.

There are three rules:

1. You must bring one (1) intoxicating substance

2. You must bring one (1) sex toy.

3. The intoxicating substance and the sex toy may not be the same thing--
model airplane glue, for example, or a bottle of tequila, could fit nicely
inot both categories.

I plan on bringing cocaine as the substance, and a lava lamp as the sex toy.

-rob
From: vail@tegra.COM (Johnathan Vail)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: How to Watch the Republican National Convention
Date: 20 Aug 92 14:36:39 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test,alt.politics.bush
Organization: Tegra, Inc., Billerica, MA
In-reply-to: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com's message of 19 Aug 92 20:22:07 GMT



In article <1992Aug19.202207.15602@wdl.loral.com> bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com (J H Woodyatt) writes:

   The trouble with the RNC is that speakers don't have any musical
   accompaniment.  Their speeches are much easier to listen to with music
   of the appropriate tone, and -- trust me on this one -- C & W doesn't
   do the Republicans justice.

   I generally mix the speech with the music at roughly equal volume.
   Here's what has worked for me:

could be.  could be.  I just turn on the Dolby ProLogic Surround Sound
and crank up the delay and the volume to the max.  Then, wearing my
elephant mask and clutching my bible in one hand and my "I [heart]
Bush" sign in the other I gesture wildly and sometimes sway in the
emotion of the moment.  afterwards I grab a bottle of Jack Daniels and
go out to the seedy part of town to pick up an African-American hooker
wearing cowboy boots.

its just like being in Houston. trust me.



Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: cruel and demonic
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 22:41:00 GMT

hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams) writes:


>"what do you want out of this relationship?"
>"a comma in the previous sentence, perhaps?"

I am ashamed to admit that it took me a full
ten seconds to get the joke here.

mark
From: richard@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Richard Tobin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: MORMON HANDBOOK ON MASTURBATION
Date: 19 Aug 92 16:29:59 GMT
Organization: AIAI, University of Edinburgh, Scotland

In article <1992Aug19.135151.6384@nrtpa038.bnr.ca> Sparky writes:
>That explains my roommate's calendar.  The entire first quarter of 1992 is
>blacked out.  And the month of September has several pencilled over days!

Yup, it's important to plan ahead.

-- Richard
-- 
Richard Tobin,
AI Applications Institute,                                R.Tobin@ed.ac.uk
Edinburgh University.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte)
Subject: big dog party
Organization: the church of the latter-day polish amazons
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 05:53:15 GMT




so if there were to be a t.b.b.d.p in, say,
the virginia beach/williamsburg area, sometime
this year, would anybody bother to come? 

m
-- 
"...at night they lurk outside the tall barrier staring with curious
 wild eyes into the flat field, feeling cheated." -- Beryl Markham
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: May we have 4'33" of silence please?
Date: 13 Aug 92 17:16:08 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <BsxD2v.GI3@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>, fulton@copper.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton) writes:
> John Cage: dead at 79.
> 
Film at 11.

Jason
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: PJF4081@cc.utah.edu (that's mr. wonderful to you)
Subject: Re: MORMON HANDBOOK ON MASTURBATION
Summary: yeah yeah yeah
Keywords: lice
Organization: committee for the advancement of disgust
Distribution: WORLD
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 92 13:00:37 MDT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.10

In <1992Aug19.114926.13700@aber.ac.uk> dpl@aber.ac.uk writes:

> In article <1992Aug18.205839.22830@fcom.cc.utah.edu> EZRA TAFT writes:
> >
> >From a Guide to Mormon Youth 
> > 
> >          "Guide to Self-Control:  Overcoming Masturbation."
> > 
> 
> "If all else fails, have a talk with your scoutmaster and everything will 
> come right in the end." - 'Scouting for boys -- Baden-Powell'
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> 
> -- I had a scoutmaster like that once.....

    	WELL, DID HE COME RIGHT IN YOUR END? DO YOU HAVE A GIF?


()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(
	PJF---->Biochem. grad student. "suffering *is* my game.		
	  	            WORK  :==  FUTURE
	"i am involved in the petty business of scientific research."
                         "feel free to feel me."
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Newsgroups: alt.lycra,talk.bizarre
From: PJF4081@cc.utah.edu (that's mr. wonderful to you)
Subject: Re: Gender bending and lycra
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Summary: a veritable plethora of feces
Keywords: guns heads bangs
Reply-To: satan
Organization: committee for the advancement of disgust
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 11:18:24 MDT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.10

In <1992Aug13.091114.17657@mr.med.ge.com> bednarek@picard.med.ge.com writes:

> 
> -what is this that men don't wear lycra.  Whenever I go to the gym I wear
> long legged lycra pants and a matching top.  Nobody laughs at my 260 lbs
> body with a 31 inch waist, because I'm wearing lycra.  Would you?
> -
> 


	OK. I'LL BITE.  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA


	so sorry. someone had to do it.  i bet you look real *good* in lycra.



>   
> ###############################################################################
> ### What were the Raven's last imortal words????????????????????????????????###
> ###############################################################################
>    Please note that any comments are not my employeers or even mine at times.
> 


()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(

	PJF---->Biochem. grad student. "suffering *is* my game."

			"Jesus take me to a higher plane!"		
	  						   Mudhoney
	          WORK  :==  FUTURE

	"i am involved in the petty business of scientific research"

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
From: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com (J H Woodyatt)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: ah, cable!
Date: 21 Aug 92 17:07:31 GMT
Reply-To: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com
Organization: Abiogenesis 4 Less

In article <1992Aug21.142214.13727@sci34hub.sci.com>, gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston) writes:
# Dubbed and subtitled movies can, however, be amusing. While in Germany
# about 11 years ago, my roommate and I (the pyro crew for KISS) were 
# watching a B-grade English movie, with subtitles in German. At one point,
# one of the characters gave a progress report of some kind to another, 
# who responds with something like "Why, that's excellent!". 

I may have related this here before, but when I was hungover and pissy
in Las Vegas once, I turned on the telly to see Yogi the Bear dubbed
in Spanish.

The line that I may never forget was:

	``Vamanos Boo-boo, es los Federales!''

-- 
J H Woodyatt (a.k.a. Dr. Strychnine)
Space Systems/Loral

"So I've got my eye on you, punk, because I - let's face it - am the
Sole Representative of Law and Justice, nay civilization itself, in
this MY GOD NO.... BASTARDO!  you did it, that's the end, you've
doomed us all..."
                           -- Curtis Yarvin (impersonating Raoul Duke)
From: rone@nunki.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The wages of Stupidity are Death
Date: 14 Aug 1992 14:23:53 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: nunki.usc.edu

In article <oirj24o@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)  writes:
>mathew, dude, chill.  Smoke a big spliff.  High stress levels
>are far more damaging to your health than the occasional
>carcinogen.
>go organic

Exactly.  Smoke pot.  No addiction, no nasty taste, no stupid pesticides.
Better high, and it stays in your blood longer.  Plus it'll get you laid,
mathew.  (Gooley: HINT, HINT)  Cigarrettes'll never do that for ya.

5150
member of HEMP (help end marijuana prohibition)
This has been an Inappropriate But Obligatory Post (I-BOP)
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:26795 alt.fan.dan-quayle:2733 misc.test:9873 alt.usage.english:6706
From: cass8806@elan.glassboro.edu (KYLE CASSIDY)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.fan.dan-quayle,misc.test,alt.usage.english
Subject: Re: THE DAN QUAYLE DICTIONARY
Date: 20 Aug 92 16:26:27 GMT
Organization: Glassboro State College, Glassboro, NJ

In article <86642@netnews.upenn.edu> crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:

>In article <1992Aug20.111807.8856@techbook.com> dant@techbook.com (Dan Tilque) writes:
>>
>>Has anyone else noticed that whenever someone uses the word "potato" on
>>the net these days, they *always* make some kind of reference to
>>Quayle's gaffe?


>Noe.


stope thise. itse gettinge oute ofe hande.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gh@cix.compulink.co.uk (Gordon Hundley)
Subject: The man from the jelly, he say...
Reply-To: gh@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 20:26:00 +0000

==========
fis/friends #397, from toby, 83 chars, Aug 13 09:21 92
Comment to 395. 
----------

> Toby says Coolerillo, which is different.

This is correct.

Cool-er-illo dude.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams)
Subject: 4 am alarm call
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 01:32:14 GMT

seems my life has recently taken a turn
for the splendid.

consequently, I'm going to be post-only
(and infrequently) for a while.

mail me if anything exciting happens.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: middle@cse.uta.edu (William J Middleton)
Subject: think ah got one thelma... bak!
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, Univ. of Texas at Arlington
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 06:09:29 GMT







shucks, just bats on m'line, ah reckon...

thelma?
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Subject: USENet defined, one easy lesson...
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 92 15:18:05 GMT


IN NEWS.ADMIN, mwm@contessa.palo-alto.ca.us (Mike Meyer) says:

>> alt.flame (and the rest of the alt groups) are as much a part
>> of the usenet as anything else.
>
>No, they aren't. They are alt.net, and were set up specifically
>because the standard USENET distribution mechanism rejected some
>topics. There are a slew of other .nets that were set up so people
>could use netnews mechanisms to disseminate information that wasn't
>wanted on USENET proper by some set of people, either those setting up
>the group, or those who were keeping USENET running.
>
>Defining USENET is the set of heirarchies that net. broke into during
>the great renaming: comp., rec., sci., soc., talk., misc., and news.
>(it's been a long time, and I may have mangled the list) seems
>accurate to me, because the others have different kinds of traffic,
>different newsgroup creation rules, or - well, you get the idea.


-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
From: richard@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Richard Tobin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: SSC
Date: 19 Aug 92 16:24:02 GMT
Organization: AIAI, University of Edinburgh, Scotland

ah      nu
ant     nag
balk    onyx
bar     one
be      or
bin     ova
crag    pent
ebbs    roof
envy    rail
errs    reef
fur     she
gel     try
gnat    tang   <--- I particularly like this pair
irk     vex    

-- Richard
-- 
Richard Tobin,
AI Applications Institute,                                R.Tobin@ed.ac.uk
Edinburgh University.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: what would you like i
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 18:48:39 GMT

cyberman@toz.buffalo.ny.us (Cyberman) writes:

> Hu> Debuggers are both useless and unnecessary.  Good programmers (1) will
> Hu> write error-free or nearly error-free code in the first place, (2) can
> Hu> resolve the few that exist totally from memory even after being away
> Hu> from the project for months, and (3) already have far better means for
> Hu> resolving the few remaining flaws in their design or coding.

And what color is the sky in your little world?

mark
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Re: 10 things you didn't know about Wavey   
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 22:31:07 GMT

dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk (Wavey Davey) writes:
: 
: 10 things you didn't know about Wavey Davey:
: 
: 1:  His name is Wavey Davey
: 2:  He is not a Jewish Pygmy call "Hamish"
: 3:  He wears ladies underwear
: 4:  He is a legend
: 5:  He has sex with hippies
: 6:  His penis is well known throughout Europe
: 7:  He has never watched Eastenders
: 8:  He is not Fis
: 9:  He always says please and thank you
: 10: He can have an orgasm just by thinking of Amanda Donohue
  11: Wavey Davey rot13'd is Jnirl Qnirl

--
---Alfvaen(a.k.a. Nysinra, rot13 Expert)
"So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
 what's so amazing about really deep thoughts"  -- Tori Amos
Current Album--Tom Tom Club:Boom Boom Chi Boom Boom
Current Read--Henry David Thoreau:Walden and Other Writings
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:27013 alt.fan.dan-quayle:2825
From: rone@alcor.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: A fantasy
Date: 21 Aug 1992 14:37:45 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: alcor.usc.edu

In article <1992Aug20.204319.8023@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
[lurid description of fantastic bungee jump

>Hows that for family values?

Just make sure your kids jump with you.


5150
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: toast
Date: 12 Aug 92 18:44:00 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test,alt.cascade
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

Blair writes:
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Marmalade.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Marmoreal.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mont Martre.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Monroe Doctrine.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Maroney Award.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mutlu Prize.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Maltese Falcon.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Malpighian corpuscle.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Manon of the Spring.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Man of War.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mather, Cotton.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mann Act.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Menarche.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>Manny, Moe, and Jack
)>>>>>>>>>>>>M3 Money Supply.
)>>>>>>>>>>>Morgan le Fay
)>>>>>>>>>>Megalomania.
)>>>>>>>>>Mea culpa.
)>>>>>>>>Mezzanine Loge.
)>>>>>>>Mezzo-soprano.
)>>>>>>Monsieur Beaucaire.
)>>>>>Moses and Monotheism.
)>>>>Mead in Valhalla.
)>>>Morning Post
)>>Mephisto's Waltz.
)>Mons Veneris.
>My Sharona.
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult.

rp -- seriously considering destroying their tape after seeing it quoted
      in wavey's sig.
From: andsol@owlnet.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Actual, Factual, Bizarre Happening
Date: 17 Aug 92 02:38:47 GMT
Organization: Rice University

My wife's a musical nut.  Last night we rented _Oklahoma_ and watched all
140 minutes of the blasted thing.  The casting was terrible, the plot was
cloying, and the backlighting reminded me of a particularly nasty drug-
induced hallucination I once had.  However, I was quite taken with the
music itself, and I had several of the numbers stuck in my head for hours
at a time.

Just today I ran an errand to the post office.  I was cruising down the
street, of course obeying each and every posted speed limit (to fail to
do so is downright un-American), and suddenly I realized what a fantastic
day today was, weather-wise, for Houston at least.  I found myself singing:

Oh, what a beautiful morning/
Oh, what a beautiful day/
I got a beautiful feeling/
Everything's going my way!

At the exact moment that I completed said verse, my tire blew out.  

But wait -- I'm not done!

Cursing my luck, and the particular irony of Americana stagecraft, I got 
out of my car and inspected the damage.  As I was bending down to get a 
better look, I heard the squeal of tires and the sound of breaking glass.
Looking up, I saw that a ratty-looking red corvette had not braked in time
for a traffic light and had rear-ended a smallish compact of Japanese 
manufacture.  The victimized car was almost completely totalled, no doubt
because the culprit had been travelling well in excess of the legal speed
limits.

Had my tire not blown out, it would have been my little Honda, not some
other schmo's, that would have been sodomized by the Corvette in question.

There are two morals to this story:

1) Rogers and Hammerstein are great gods in my Pantheon.  Repeat after me:

      Oh what a beautiful morning/
      Oh what a beautiful day/
      I got a beautiful feeling/
      Everything's going my way!

   Mutter this mantra at appropriate moments, and you shall be safe from
   all harm.

2) Always, Always, ALWAYS drive the speed limit.

   Somewhere up there, Rogers and Hammerstein agree with me....
-- 
Andrew Solberg          |"If I were your wife I'd poison your tea!" 
Undying University Mooch|              Anon. Outraged British Woman
andsol@owlnet.rice.edu  |"And if I were your husband I'd drink it!"
Phone:713-529-8627      |              Winston Churchill