HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: freedoms
Date: 13 Dec 1992 21:44:34 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: salmon.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

I devised a new system for taking notes this quarter.

I have four classes, so I bought four differently colored
pens. Each day, I alternate the color I write for each class
a four day cycle. Then I can easily partition each day's notes.
I thought this might whip my notes into good shape.

But the revolution came quick and fierce, on a dreary day
in Communication Systems. It was in the last 10 minutes of 
class that I noticed I had been tricked into writing in the
wrong section, correctly following the code for that section,
but also adding an extra day's notes, totally throwing off
all order. The last 10 minutes, I wrote in the correct 
section in the color blue. The day after, I found that if I
were to correctly follow the code, I would have to again write
in blue. I was smashed, and admitted defeat. Now I just let the
little pens write in whichever color they desire.

--
A government for the people
From: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Hey, PJ!
Date: 15 Dec 1992 17:33:29 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, PJ says:
>John Austin writes:
>>I heard on the radio that a Secret Service van (unspecified color and
>>windowstatus) on the streets of Wash, D.C. was hit by a bullet yesterday. 
>>Nobody was hurt, and the official story is that it was a stray shot from some
>>indigenous armed yahoo.

>>Hmmm.   And just where were you yesterday?

>i have no memory of this whatsoever. i completely and categorically deny
>any all charges you might make against my person. i'm terribly sorry but i
>just don't remember that ever happening. you said it was when? no, i'm
>sorry, i think i was asleep that day.

PJ, PJ, PJ!
The correct way to answer a question like that is:
"I elect to exercise my rights under AMENDMENT V of The Constitution of
 The United States of America, and respectfully decline to answer any
 questions at this time."

rp -- Trust me, I know this line by heart.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: ssc 
From: mike@elec.canterbury.ac.nz (Cosmik Debris)
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 22:39:14 GMT
Organization: Electrical Engineering, University of Canterbury, New Zealand

I have three children. That's 100% success rate.

-- 
Cosmik Debris -- "Thank you for your support and I will always wear it."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,soc.culture.arabic
From: ziad@eng.umd.edu (Ziad K. Cheiban)
Subject: Re: ARABS AND CAMEL
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 20:27:03 GMT
Organization: Project GLUE, University of Maryland, College Park
Distribution: world 

In article <1992Dec17.204413.20114@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
>
>
>FOUND IN A TIME MAGAZINE FROM '63:
>
>An Arab proverb says, "There are three plagues in the world: the rat,
>the locust and the Kurd."  The Kurds reply, "A camel is not an animal,
>and an Arab is not a human being."
>
>
>
>:)

In article <1992Dec17.204932.20286@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
>
>
>FOUND IN TIME MAGAZINE FROM 1962:
>
> The Sheik is also a connoisseur of camel's milk -- his only drink --
>and can tell by the milk's taste what the camel has been eating and
>where it was in the desert.  For the best milk, he explains, we feed
>camels on sea mangrove and dried fish.  This gives the milk a slightly
>fishy freshness we appreciate."  Shakhbut once owned a Cadillac, but
>when it finally broke down he just abandoned it.  Now he makes his
>state visits in a bone-jarring Land-Rover, but without enthusiasm.  "I
>did all my traveling by camel in the old days," he sighs, "but now I
>have to go by car because if the ruler went by camel, people would
>think it peculiar."
>
>
>
>carasso,
>mooooo

Assuming that the references are correct and that they aren't quoted 
out of context, this only proves that Time has published racist
anti-Arab material. Something which most of us Arabs who have been
discriminated against and against whom racial slurrs have been used
don't find at all surprising. If statements like these had been 
made about any other ethnic or religious group, particularly Jews,
they would have caused a serious backlash but against Arabs they 
go unnoticed.
Don't worry, most of us can still remember that before the Gulf War
we were reffered to as "desert niggers" and "camel drivers".
Of course now  we are "err ...our Arab allies in the Gulf"
I know it wasn't your intention to do something constructive
but you've done it anyway. Thank you for reminding everybody
about anti-Arab racism and how ugly it is, and how uglier it is 
that most people watch passively without objecting to it, and without
doing what they would have done for a group other than Arabs.
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: I would like to formally euologize
Date: 11 Dec 92 15:27:42 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <1992Dec9.023840.21080@scott.skidmore.edu>, ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe) writes:
> 
> 
> 
> 
>   you no-life virgin computer jockeys have not seen the last of me...i
> will not be gone so easily. i think this newsgroup could use a woman's
> touch. so could all of your pathetic cocks.
> 
> 					sioux

Please form an orderly line outside the door.  Dr Sioux will be with
you shortly.  Now, no pushing Carasso!

Jason
From: thchemb4@black.ox.ac.uk (Tom Weston)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The European Community Summit in Edinburgh
Date: 12 Dec 92 14:05:49 GMT
Organization: where?
Originator: thchemb4@black

In article <8049@skye.ed.ac.uk> ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson) writes:
>
>Today I saw a T.V.  crew standing on the Royal Mile filming people
>buying newspapers at the stand outside Pizza Land. 
>
>I asked for the Christmas issue Radio Times but they didn't have it. 

Yeah! they showed this on my local TV station. Weren't you the tallish
guy with the lump of meat on his head?


>
>visibly, Ken Johnson



-- 
Tom Weston thchemb4@black.oxford.ac.uk
From: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep's Last Hurrah
Date: 17 Dec 92 18:02:44 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


              "Hurrah!"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: I am like mister x in that...
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 21:14:06 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.033554.24426@netcom.com> cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton) writes:

>  For several months, I have been trying to talk myself into
>getting an ear pierced, possibly multiply, so that I can wear
>fishing lures in it.  (Yes, I would file the barbs down first.)

I suggest you file off the points, too. 

>  Unfortunately, I suspect that fish hooks are not hypoallergenic.

So, stick a piece of stainless steel leader through the piercing, and
snap the lure onto that.

Gary, who has six rod & reel assemblies (plus a couple of loose reels
and another rod), and hasn't fished in years.

-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"Data sheet: HSN-3000 Nuclear Event Detector. The [NED] senses the gamma
radiation pulse [from a] nuclear weapon." As if we wouldn't notice...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: this week
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 00:08:07 GMT

In <BzC49M.2K0@cantua.canterbury.ac.nz> mike@elec.canterbury.ac.nz (Cosmik Debris) writes:
>Shit!

*plonk!*

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: john@little-jimmy.cs.unlv.edu (John Kilburg)
Subject: Dealing with toots
Reply-To: john@little-jimmy.cs.unlv.edu (John Kilburg)
Organization: UNLV Computer Science and Electrical Engineering
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 08:10:28 GMT

A friend in high school showed me a little trick which we called
a 'Fart Cup':

When you are about to fart, cup your hand over your asshole and hold it
there until the farting is over.  Quickly close you hand.  Now place
it over someone's nose.  The results speak for themselves.

							-john

p.s. It really works.  Even on yourself.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gaillard@panix.com (Ed Gaillard)
Subject: Re: In Search Of
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 22:54:24 GMT
Organization: PANIX Public Access Unix, NYC

In <BzGp6y.1D4@fulcrum.co.uk> igb@fulcrum.co.uk (Ian G Batten) writes:

>In article <BzGo8I.13p@fulcrum.co.uk> rct@fulcrum.co.uk (Richard
>Taylor) writes: 
>> How about Warm Leatherette by The Mekons (not the cover version by
>> "There but for the Grace-of God-Jones go I"). It was the first
>> record on the Mute label. 
>> 
>> It mainly consists of two words - "warm" and "leatherette" in complete
>> monotone, backed by the two electronic chords.

>I've just said to Richard, five feet away, that it was actually by ``The
>Normal'', who were, in fact, anything but.  He admits his error and will
>be punished by having Solaris 2.1 installed on his machine.

>The lyrics also included ``Feel The...Steering Wheel'' at odd intervals.

"Broken glass... in the underpass."

"Kiss me, love, before I die... on Warm Leatherette... join the
car-crash set."

--
Ed Gaillard <gaillard@panix.com> 
I can't see the lines I used to think I could read between.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: lstewart@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca (L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058)
Subject: Lunch springs eternal
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 21:25:36 GMT

For some unknown reason I have seen four different people
barf in public today on campus. Two women and two men all
of whom looked seriously distressed to be airing their 
beefs, as it were, in front of many curious onlookers.
The most poetic of these events involved a woman I have
seen on campus for the last few years. She is a very
attractive woman who carries herself with style. I know
that she had the minestrone. I would have held her hair out of     
the way but I don't know her and she didn't look like she 
knew the unfortunate outcome of har mid-day repast.
From this day on I will regard her with a new respect.
It was a beautiful arcing projectile stream, I'd say eight
or ten feet easy, caught part of a door and soaked down
the stairs leading to the building. After just a moment
she was composed enough to say, "I want a refund." She then
let loose a ripping good belch and took off in search of
a washroom for cleaning up. What a woman.
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: OOgle b00gle DonG
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 92 15:24:01 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

: The simplest example arises in the theory of free boson fields.
: Here one treats ``Gaussian measures'' of the form 
:                 e^{Q(x,x)} dx  
: where Q is a complex-valued symmetric bilinear form on the real vector
: space V.  When V is finite-dimensional and dx denotes Lebesgue
: measure, e^{Q(x,x)} dx is indeed a perfectly nice measure
: on V, and it's a finite measure when Q is negative definite, for example
:                 Q(x,x) = -(x_1^2 + ... + x_n^2)
: on R^n.

Simplest, eh? O Shit [tm].

: The point
: is that a nice measure (i.e., a finite regular Borel measure) on a nice
: space (i.e., a locally compact Hausdorff space - for example, a finite-
: dimensional vector space) allows one to integrate all bounded continuous  
: functions on the space, but in practice one is willing to settle for
: much less.  

Hit the nail on the head there. MUCH less.

: Given a compact Lie group G (the "gauge group") and a trivial
: principal G-bundle P over a 3-dimensional manifold M, the
: Chern-Simons action of a connection A on P is given by
:    	S(A) = (k/4pi) \int_M tr(A ^ dA + (2/3)A ^ A ^ A) 
: where the ``level'' k is a nonnegative integer.   The quantity S(A)
: changes by an integer multiple of 2pi under gauge transformations of A, so we
: may formally define a ``measure''
:              e^{iS(A)} DA
: on the space of smooth connections modulo gauge transformations, where
: DA is the (purely heuristic) ``Lebesgue measure'' on this space. 

: The problem is in making this sort of stuff make
: sense, because the space of connections modulo gauge transformations is
: a fairly nasty infinite-dimensional space, not even a manifold, so there
: really is no Lebesgue measure on it.

Well, I agree with the first part of that last sentence.

lordSnooty@theGiantPoisonedElectricHead <suitably humbled>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe)
Subject: Re: Sioux Haiku
Organization: Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs NY
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 21:44:35 GMT






    i am so flattered by the thought and wit that went into that
haiku. thank you. . i am genuinely pleased and happy that you took the
time to think of me. 

							sioux 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Subject: Re: kit
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 07:37:34 GMT

I think fun fun fun boy (pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu) is or should be the 
songwriter for King Missile.  Almost any of his posts could become
one of their songs.

Try and imagine them performing the following:

: this evening i did my laundry. i was happy it only cost me $3. while my
: clothes were in the dryer (drying) i went up to smiths to buy some beer
: and a wedding card. on my way from the parking lot to the store i fell and
: broke my right leg and my left arm. the ground was quite icy. fortunately,
: i had my Ronco Home Bone Setting KIt (tm) in my car. 

[Backup vocals sing chorus of 'Ronco Home Bone Setting Kit'...]

: i managed to hop on
: one leg over to the car but just as i was about to reach it i hit yet
: another patch of ice and fell breaking my collar bone. this time i yelled
: fuck! as loud as i could. i mean two broken bones are not so much trouble,
: but now i've got three. 

[Backup vocals sing chorus of 'Ronco Home Bone Setting Kit'...]

: shit, i was such a cheap ass son of a bitch that i
: bought the 'low priced' kit. it only came with two bone setting packages.
: i screamed at the gods, at the sheer irony of it all. my SO was there when
: i ordered the kits. she told me, 'you know how you are, if you break
: something you break several.' and now, with ultra-clear 20/20 hindsight i
: see just how right she was. 

[Backup vocals sing chorus of 'Ronco Home Bone Setting Kit'...]

: i was so disgusted with myself i pulled my
: Ronco brain extractor from my coat pocket and gave myself a frontal
: lobotomy right there in the parking lot. at least this way i won't care
: when my SO shows up at the hospital laughing at me.

: ps. i have dificult time using subject lines that apply to my ramblings...

But 'kit' makes a fine song title.

  -- Clifton
--
cliftonr@netcom.com     Home: +1 808 521 9073  Work: +1 808 625 3234
Clifton Royston, Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Have a revelation, the first one's free/Soon to be addicted to eternity" - HMR
From: thchemb4@oxford.ac.uk (Tom Weston)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: short very shameful confession
Date: 20 Dec 92 18:43:57 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Service, 13 Banbury Rd, Oxford, UK
Originator: thchemb4@black

There was an arts program about Jeff Koons on TV last week. I found his wife
particularily attractive ..........

"I went through moral conflict. I could not sleep for a long time in the 
preparation of my new work. I had to go to the depths of my own sexuality,
my own mortality  to be able to remove  fear, guilt and shame from myself.
All this has been removed for the viewer. So when the viewer sees it they are
in the realm of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. "

Jeff Koons, justifying an exhibition showing him screwing his wife, in
great detail. 

....I love art. It's the integrity you know.
-- 
Tom Weston thchemb4@black.oxford.ac.uk
From: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: cathy's response to sioux's flames
Date: 13 Dec 92 15:51:13 -0600
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

In article <1gdhqaINNe7m@chnews.intel.com>, bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton) writes:
> In article <Bz37K1.21F@fulcrum.co.uk> graeme@fulcrum.co.uk (Graeme Hodgson) writes:
>>Ding, ding.  Round 1.
> 
>>In article <1992Dec9.190820.351@scott.skidmore.edu> croth@scott.skidmore.edu (catherine roth) writes:
>>>3.  we like posting here, and will continue to do so until each and
>>>every one of you peckerheads has actually been alone with a woman.  we
>>>realize that this could take a very long time, so it is already
>>>written in our wills that the next five generations of our families
>>>post here as well.
> 
> I was alone with a woman just last night (so get off
> the net you hag), after her first hockey game.  I
> explained icing and two-line passes to her and then
> we pucked.
> 
> 				--Blair
> 				  "Oooh, nice check."

OK, that's ONE.  Not a very good record.  Seems the threat of five generations 
of flames is still in effect...

					--Joachim
From: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: cathy's response to sioux's flames
Date: 13 Dec 92 15:53:44 -0600
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

In article <MJD.92Dec12143627@saul.cis.upenn.edu>, mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus) writes:
> 	<1992Dec10.234321.2783@cnsvax.uwec.edu>
> Sender: news@netnews.upenn.edu
> Organization: University of Pennsylvania
> Lines: 52
> Nntp-Posting-Host: saul.cis.upenn.edu
> In-reply-to: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu's message of 11 Dec 92 05:43:21 GMT
> 
> In article <1992Dec10.234321.2783@cnsvax.uwec.edu> hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu writes:
>>   Ah, at last someone gets the point.  They DON'T WANT to be
>>   interesting.  They WANT their posts to get old real fast.  They want
>>   to make you low-life peckerheads into annoyed and angry low-life
>>   peckerheads.  Can't say I blame 'em.
> 
> But there are TWELVE THOUSAND talk.bizarre regular posters who are doing
> that already.  EVERY MONTH some new newbie shows up, posts something
> stupid, gets flamed, and says ``Geez, these people need to lighten
> up.  I will post boring, prompous, tedious drivel until, zen-like,
> they become enlightened!'' 
> 
> EVERY month.
> 
> It's not clever, and it's not even provocative; it's just the SAME OLD SHIT.
> 
> So what's the point?  Then you've got a group with twelve thousand
> people in it all trying to BORE each other to death.
> 
> Which is why my kill file is about 11,978 lines long.
> 
> Just give it up.  Trying to provoke someone by doing the same
> flapping-your-arms-like-a-chicken act that twelve thousand people have
> been doing for years trying to get a reaction is NOT going to work.
> Trying to provoke someone who can tune you out completely by putting
> your name in a file is DOOMED to failure.
> 
> If you want to be provocative, you have to be SUBTLE and CLEVER about it.
> 
> Go ahead.  I *DARE* YOU.   ALL of you.
> 
> Provoke me.  Not by being endlessly tedious, because I'll just ignore
> you.  Anger me.  Not by spouting bile, because I'm plenty bilious
> myself; I'm a disembodied brain in a vat of bilirubin.  Irritate me.
> Not by thumbing your nose and saying `nyah-nyah-poo-poo', because I'll
> smile indulgently and drop you in my kill file along with ALL THE
> OTHERS.
> 
> Provoke, anger, irritate me, by doing something that NOBODY has ever
> done before.  You have THREE chances.
> 
> But if you think you're going to provoke, anger, or irritate me by doing
> the things that LAST MONTH'S batch of newbies did, you're simply
> mistaken, because it didn't work last month EITHER, and if you had read
> the group for a little while before you opened your trap, you would know
> that already.
> 
> This never works; I don't know why I bother.  Ah well, hope springs eternal.
> --
> 
> 	 The worst thing in the world is when records are destroyed
> Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 

I wonder if Mark ever stops to read his own posts.  Look it over, everyone. 
Does this not look like the writing of a provoked, annoyed, angered person?

					--Joachim
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Simpsons Quote Program
Date: 20 Dec 1992 07:11:37 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc4.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com (Gerald Oskoboiny) says:
                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
>                         #####     #    #     # #######
>                        #     #   # #   ##   ## #
>                        #        #   #  # # # # #
>                        #  #### #     # #  #  # #####
>                        #     # ####### #     # #
>                        #     # #     # #     # #
>                         #####  #     # #     # #######
>
>                         #####  #     # ####### ######
>                        #     # #     # #       #     #
>                        #     # #     # #       #     #
>                        #     # #     # #####   ######
>                        #     #  #   #  #       #   #
>                        #     #   # #   #       #    #
>                         #####     #    ####### #     #

 gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com -- anagram (@=o)
********************************************
  4 ICBM ball'd Toronto!  Game over!!
********************************************

-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra)
Subject: JTEM slips and falls on the sidewalk ice in Boston
Keywords: Ice Contest Results
Organization: t.b
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 18:18:42 GMT


     As you will recall in our previous chapters
of JTEM Discovers Back East, or Zonie Lost in
Seasonal Hell, our heroine has already been
struck and spooked by her first fallen leaf and
has bought her first coat.

     Our latest adventure features the results
of the Ice Contest (so don't send in any more
entries!).  The winning time for Jennie's first
ice fall was Monday night at about 8pm EST, when
Jennie left her apartment in Boston to get
cigarettes and slipped and fell on the ice right
outside the apartment for the first time.  She
executed a shoulder roll, and yes, upon getting
up she immediately fell again, winding up on her
ass.

     So the winning entry was Monday, December 14,
8 pm, with a double-fall, fifteen feet past the
entrance to her apartment.

     Stay tuned for our next episode, "Jennie's
Zonie Revenge," when Jennie the English Major
takes a break from her Back East Trials and
Tribulations, says "Fuck a bunch of White
Christmases!", and swims in her parents' pool in
Phoenix outdoors on Christmas Day.

--Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
                        {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre