HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: annie@canetoad.UUCP (Picasso-puss)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re:  Short Shameful Confession
Distribution: world
Date: 14 Dec 92 08:28:24 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <71543@cup.portal.com> lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:
>jeff vogel:
>: >>I was really thrilled when I heard Princess Di was leaving Prince Chuck,
>: >>because now I have a much better chance of bagging her.
>: 
>Tom Weston:
>: >I'm sorry. She's with me now.
>: 
>Matthew B. M. Gibson:
>: Why, the two-timing bitch...  Just wait till I get home...
>
>"Home" ??? Don't make me puke!!
>You're just the bloody lodger, and don't you forget it.
>
>You're all just disgusting opportunists.
>Leave my live-in alone. You have been warned.

Tsk tsk. My sweet Di may be reticent, but *I've* no compunctions
against firing an upstart driver.

--
Mind your manners, sir, and on to the castle.

...uunet!canetoad!annie                          canetoad!annie@uunet.uu.net

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: Re: CARASSO'S GIRLFRIEND MAKES A SSC
Keywords: carasso,girlfriend,urine,mcdonalds,lunch,pot,kettle,black
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 21:44:53 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.185426.7874@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
>
>This is an actual ssc from my girlfriend, as told by me, CARASSO (G-D):
>
>Last Tuesday, I'm in the bathroom at Fox TV, where I work as a grphic
>artist.  I had just pee'd and when I stood up, my purse fell, and a
>ten dollar bill fell in.  I hesitated, but ultimately reached in and
>got it.  I didn't wash the bill but rather wrapped it in two paper
>towels.  An hour later, when I went to McDonald's, I unwrapped the ten
>dollar bill on the counter and handed it to the cashier to pay for my
>lunch.
>
>Happy, Happy. Joy, Joy.
>

Urine is almost sterile when it comes from someone uninfected.

Therefore that was a very nasty thing for her to do.

Mark., Carasso's insulted me so many times and I almost always laugh it off
gooley@netcom.com
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: you must remember thish
Date: 17 Dec 1992 23:43:04 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
NNTP-Posting-Host: stealth.intel.com

In article <1992Dec17.160611.9538@netcom.com> gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) writes:
>And when two lovers screw
>They don't say, "I fuck you"
>On that you can rely...

Me Tarzan.  You Jane.  Me fuck you.

				--Blair
				  "Hmm.  You right.  Ape-man
				   no know nominative case."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kontos@clipper.ingr.com (Thorne Kontos)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Beware bowling a perfect game...
Keywords: It could be fatal...
Date: 16 Dec 92 21:53:52 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Intergraph Advanced Processor Division - Palo Alto, CA


     About a month ago, I told of a bowler in San Francisco who
died of a heart attack after the 11th strike in what would have
been his fifth perfect game.
     The "bowling" gods have struck again. This time in Michigan.
A bowler had just bowled his first perfect game and during the
ensuing celebration died of a heart attack within a half hour.
     So beware keglers, as these things usually happen in threes.
From: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: billiards
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:16:55 -0600
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

OK, now that I'm safely into the killfiles of those t.b readers/posters who
have decided it is their right and duty to define 'bizarre' and 'clever' and
try to eliminate anyone who doesn't agree with their definitions (and if there
are any of that sort still reading my posts, killfile me now or forever hoard
the piece), I can go on posting in a manner of my choosing rather than someone
else's...



(on the subject of billiards)

He decided at that point to be a giraffe, since then when they challenged him
to a game of billiards he could turn them down because he had no hands.  They
ridiculed him, saying that he would never again eat ravioli.  He saw this was
true, and wept.

					--Joachim
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Re: Leary, Manson, Kleps and other questions...
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 02:55:08 EST
Organization: Talk Bizarre Official Greeting Peoples' Collective #393

In article <BzAAD3.wr@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu> muwjt@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu (William J. Taney) writes:
>cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio) writes:
>
>>In article <1gep30INN54c@tamsun.tamu.edu>, bpb9204@tamsun.tamu.edu writes:
>>|Who is Tim Leary?  
>
>>Timothy Leary's dead.
>You better tell him that....!!!!
>-- 
>*William Taney                *   Lobotomy's for Republicans
>*muwjt@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu        *         it's the Law
>*Western Illinois University  *            DV '92
>*Those who know the past, control the future. 

Ah, William.  I regret to inform you that the Talk Bizarre Official Greeting
Peoples' Collective has determined that your post contains bourgeois counter-
revolutionary propaganda, and will not be tolerated.  As the peace-loving
peoples of talk.bizarre have determined you are a witless dupe of the
warmongering running dogs of world imperialism, and that the subversive
attempt at a .signature you have affixed to your article is in itself a
crime against the truly free peoples of the world and their legitimate
continuing revolution, you are hereby ordered to report at once to the
nearest Peoples' Reeducation Camp for an extended period of self-criticism,
agricultural labor, and proletarian revolutionary consciousness instruction.

If you fail to obey this order, you will be shot.

ljd
Commissar, Talk Bizarre Official Greeting Peoples' Collective #393

if he'd only said "no, no, no, no, he's outside... looking in"
all this unpleasantness could have been avoided
From: ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: simon
Date: 17 Dec 1992 01:02:06 GMT
Organization: finchhaus
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: helen.oit.itd.umich.edu

When i last visited Simon, he was reading _Self-Help_Through_
Hypnosis_ by Sun Ra.  I asked him where he got it from, and 
he said, "It came packaged with _Working_for_World_Peace_
by John Zorn."
  "You're making that up."
  "It's under my bed; check it out.  The drawings are by XNO."

AjD
-- 
                       ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu
    "Whatever makes the most money will happen." -- Eleanor Glyn
From: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: cathy's response to sioux's flames
Date: 14 Dec 92 21:46:46 -0600
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

In article <MJD.92Dec14020839@saul.cis.upenn.edu>, mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Mr. Wow") writes:
> 	<MJD.92Dec12143627@saul.cis.upenn.edu>
> 	<1992Dec13.155344.2809@cnsvax.uwec.edu>
> Sender: news@netnews.upenn.edu
> Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
> Lines: 15
> Nntp-Posting-Host: saul.cis.upenn.edu
> In-reply-to: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu's message of 13 Dec 92 21:53:44 GMT
> 
> Try `bored', and you'll be closer to the mark.  Or `disappointed'.  Or
> even `sad'.  I wish you had some backbone and some spice.  I really do.
> Please post your predictably lame followup to me `get a life' post, so
> that I can put you in my kill file and cease to be bored, disappointed,
> and saddened by you, forever.
> 
> Or REALLY embarrass me by posting something clever for a change.
> I *double* dare you this time, BIG BOY.
> --
> 
> 	 The worst thing in the world is when records are destroyed
> Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 

And what do I win if I post something 'clever' by your standards?  The right to
stay out of your killfile?  Ooooh, what an honor.  I will say this just once
now, and I'll put it in simple language so all of you can understand (yes, mj,
even you):

I do not intend to try to please or impress you.  I post here for my own
reasons, which I do not intend to justify to anyone.

I do not take orders from anyone I do not respect.

I do not honor requests from anyone I do not respect.

I do not have a reason to respect anyone in this newsgroup who has asked or
told me to leave.  Therefore, I'm not leaving.  As for embarassing you, mj,
what would be the point?  I'd already be rather embarassed if I had written
some of that stuff you post.

					--Joachim

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: benth@microsoft.com (Ben)
Subject: RE: ssc (Re: Will I go to hell just for thinking this?)
Date: 15 Dec 92 19:02:41 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corp.

jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll) writes:

>misanthropically ranting through Bellevue Square Christmas

>shopping for nephews and nieces I hardly know



Hey, Jeff - didja scope out the spiffy $300 faux grunge

clothes in Nordies?



BENth

the look of flannel, the feel of silk...


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: Graydon H <coventry@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Cabling seeks paste
X-To: ALL
Organization: The Zoo of Ids
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 04:10:00 GMT

rails poke in the lining of an extraordinarily likable person I knew
when I stood in a line in the biggest fucking airport in nicaragua.
so I shot my business card like a bat outta hell, through the air into his 
face washing, teeming, smiling with tiny wings.
then he just wrapped himself up and shipped out, gone to the silvery ocean 
for adventure, like a good young man always wants, right? that damned 
ocean, the one who caused such questions as those unfit for trial, the 
same damned ocean who belched plague upon plague of raping evil-spillers 
with whole new ways of making chirping noises in a row.
maybe we could kill it.
marketing is about as likable as a really big ape. 
So I wait, inevitably seeking refuge in my garden cave, back in behind my 
"we really liked paper, why'd you have to take it away?" cave and with a 
sign pointing to it too. as if anyone needs a sign. 
Chipped glass and blood drop from the stars to the lawn, greeting the 
weevils and moss, singing about their caustic charge of universal 
fund-raising.
words that fall upon deaf ears.
ears which are too busy, perhaps, being invented.
it's time for the big ones to turn in place, shifting with the shadows, 
and begin the cumbersome trek back to their homes. Chase the sun. Make up 
with your machine, or it might just eat you.
caution tells stories of bigots in bathrobes.

coventry@zooid.guild.org

"no, as you can plainly see, we are the phantom ladies of salonica"
-aldiss

AM'v+;nS--- WinQwk 2.0 #0AM'v+;nS
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ilana@kiowa.scd.ucar.edu (Ilana)
Subject: Electricity III
Organization: NCAR/UCAR
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 17:26:27 GMT

The vocabulary of electricity isn't quite as erotic as the vocabulary of
plumbing, but why should it be?  In human relationships, the plumbing is 
the sweaty steamy stuff -- the electricity is the romance. Oh, there are
gang boxes and wire screws, but none of those intimate fittings one finds
in plumbing, no inverted female sweat to male screw, no exotic couplings:
the outlets are always female and the plugs are always male, and that's
it -- even three-way switches don't change this basic fact.  Electricians 
even use protector plates, and insulated wires.  But oh!  the joy of 
power at your fingertips, and the danger of a missed connection, a crossed
wire.  Plumbing would be meaningless without electricity.

-- 
/\    "I'm only a human girl person.  I ain't always perfect."--Rambling Rose
  \_][ <--NCAR Ilana Stern dod#009 r.b. cliff swallow ilana@ncar.ucar.edu    
      \______________________________________________________________________
From: jjh4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JANE HORVATH)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: taters
Date: 14 Dec 92 22:02:59 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University


last night, i saw a commercial for tater twister(tm) and tater twister pro(tm).
i wonder how long someone must use the standard device before moving on to the
'pro' model.

-jane

i hate curly fries.


                          
-- 
From: tonyz@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com (Tony Zugates)
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 22:32:44 GMT
Subject: Re: I Sing the Body Smoke!
Organization: the HP Mtn.View Resp. Cntr.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre

By golly, you're right.. you one smart spectrum hogging dweeb, aren't you?

I'll bet everyone's going to get themselves set up with one of them 
double sideband-suppressed carrier jobs! and a synchronous detection 
scheme for their receivers! 

The last lame fuck to use dsb was N6BII... you will notice that he's not
on the roster anymore.

Ever heard of "Tune for Maximum Smoke"?  

Well do it LID.




"all disclaimers apply"
Death to Double Side Band- the old boys on 7250 kc.
From: jvogel@math.rutgers.edu (jeff vogel)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: My Latest Poetic Creation
Date: 15 Dec 92 20:46:40 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

This is the first poem from my upcoming collection: 
	Poems For Strange Feminist Girls.


The Man

	when i was dealing with patriarchal strife
and evil man entered my life
		he harassed my ma
and shot my pa
	he's phallocentric
			rah rah rah

				- Jeff Vogel
				Copyright 1992
				All rights reserved
				No public reading of this
				work allowed without prior
				written permission of the poet
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: what I really want to do
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 22:37:49 GMT

damianj@castle.ed.ac.uk (Damian Jackson) writes:

>Goddamn mathematics for being too bloody enjoyable.

Name the five things wrong with this sentence.
--
!cat .signature
From: mlsa@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: An Honest Question
Date: 16 Dec 92 06:36:07 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

Just because I chew tobacco, keep an american flag in my room (because my
confederate one is at home), have a gun rack on my BMW (which I lovingly call
the general lee) drink JD and SoCo out of the bottle, wear flannel shirts and
say y'all does that make it OK for people to stereotype me as a hick?  I don't
think so, do you?

-- 
my name is mike and i'm a .sig-a-holic, i have been virtually .sig free for
five days now, my life is so much clearer, i pledge to do my best to never
have a long .sig again.  i don't need one because i'm good enough, i'm smart
enough and god darnit, people like me.  ob info: mlsa@lehigh.edu, mike
sherman phone# 758-0207 disclaimer, we don't neeeed no steeenking disclaimer.
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: quote without a context
Date: 17 Dec 1992 17:47:43 GMT
Organization: UC Berkeley CS Dept.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but a manatee is _never_ just a manatee."

c
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Mr. Wow")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: MACRON HUMOUR
Date: 14 Dec 92 07:52:59 GMT
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom


TELL ME COMRADE WHY IT IS THAT MARIE CURIE CANNOT BE OCCUPYING THE SAME
TELEPHONE BOOTH AS SANTA CLAUS?

I DO NOT KNOW, COMRADE!  TELL ME, WHY IS IT THAT MARIE CURIE CANNOT BE
OCCUPYING THE SAME TELEPHONE BOOTH AS SANTA CLAUS?

PRAVDA!
--

	 The worst thing in the world is when records are destroyed
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: ex
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 18:37:15 GMT

In article <1grhg4INN4hn@uwm.edu> terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net) writes:

>I wanna be an otter.

Well, ok, let me get out the net.wand (careful of that star on the end), 
and let's see, need a few of these ingredients, mixed just so, sprinkled
on like this, wave the wand over you just so, and sah "NI!".

   [  *POOF*  ]


Oh my, I didn't think otters had feathers and a scaley neck; let's try
this again, mix, sprinkle, wave, "NI!"...

   [  *POOF*  ]


Hmmm, that got rid of the feathers, at least. Maybe we'd better reverse
these; I can't imagine you want to go to work as an iguana. Better check
the book for this one; let's see, (flip, flip) ah, yes; everything's on
hand, ummm, rubber gloves, crucible, a little of this, a dash of that,
too bad this isn't computerized, eh? We could just use the undo key, haha.
Ah, it's boiling nicely now, just stand here and take a deep breath while
I wave the (bump) careful you don't want to fa (splash!). 

Oh dear. Do you have insurance?


-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"Data sheet: HSN-3000 Nuclear Event Detector. The [NED] senses the gamma
radiation pulse [from a] nuclear weapon." As if we wouldn't notice...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: SWM, 31, seeks SF near Boulder, Colorado
From: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)
Organization: The Man With Ten Cats
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 02:10:17 GMT
Reply-To: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)

In article <1gd72tINNscl@uwm.edu> terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net) writes:
>
>In article <9212111927.39@rmkhome.UUCP> rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec10.183626.28600@netcom.com> gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) writes:
>>>I got the impression at the AngstCon that Xibo didn't like me much.
>>You should have told him a skeleton joke.
>
>
>No, here's a great skeleton joke, and it's like the only skeleton joke i've
>ever laughed at, and probly because it was told by a guy that i wouldn't
                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>have to be threatened with a gun to fuck, but here goes:
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Where does this fit on the 1 to 10 scale?

>"A skeleton goes into a bar. The bartender says, what'll you have. The
>skeleton says "A beer. and a MOP."

>I guess you had to be there.

Probably.

>Then again, we'd have had *3* pitchers plus four glasses then.

Ah, this explains it.

-- 

Rick Kelly	rmk@rmkhome.UUCP	unixland!rmkhome!rmk	rmk@frog.UUCP
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: two words. that's all.  can't get them out of my head.
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 92 11:46:19 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)

BobTech:

	Grunt Buggly

Vogonic.
Doesn't count.

Next
					--@lS
From: dklein@thunder.LakeheadU.Ca (Daniel Klein)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Thank You
Keywords: dominus
Date: 12 Dec 1992 03:18:29 GMT
Organization: Lakehead University, Thunder Bay, Ont., Canada

To those who offered help in locating the principia discordia:

THE TOASTER HAS BLESSED YOU!
ALL ERIS!
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!

FNORD!{
From: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: An Honest Question
Date: 17 Dec 1992 21:08:50 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, mlsa@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN) says:

>Just because I chew tobacco, keep an american flag in my room (because my
>confederate one is at home), have a gun rack on my BMW (which I lovingly call
>the general lee) drink JD and SoCo out of the bottle, wear flannel shirts and
>say y'all does that make it OK for people to stereotype me as a hick?  I don't
>think so, do you?

No, but this post makes it OK for readers to stereotype you as a
clueless newbie and put you in their killfiles.

*plonk*
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: SSC
Date: 12 Dec 92 19:53:59 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania


In 1985, Craig, Doris, Chris, and I were sitting on the side steps of
Saint Patrick's Cathedral, and a strech limo drove up and stopped at the
red light.  I jumped down off the steps, knocked on the window of the
limo, and gestured frantically for the passenger to roll it down.  When
he did, I asked ``Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?'' 

Shot to hell.
--

	 The worst thing in the world is when records are destroyed
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: jjh4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JANE HORVATH)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: An Honest Question
Date: 18 Dec 92 02:06:06 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Dec16.170159.78324@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, jws5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (J
USTIN WINSLOW SOLONYNKA) writes:
>In article <1992Dec16.063607.41113@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>, mlsa@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu
>(MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN) writes:
>>Just because I chew tobacco, keep an american flag in my room (because my
>>confederate one is at home), have a gun rack on my BMW (which I lovingly call
>>the general lee) drink JD and SoCo out of the bottle, wear flannel shirts and
>>say y'all does that make it OK for people to stereotype me as a hick?  I don't
>>think so, do you?
>
>No, but I think you'd do very well on "The Dukes of Hazzard".
>
>sol  |  Jesus was a carpenter, and damned if that's not bizarre
>--
>
them duke boys would spit on you for calling a bmw 'general lee'
the original car was a dodge challenger, an american car worthy of such a
title. you are no hick.


-jane


-- 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: One line bio
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 20:21:34 GMT

In <616@thunder.LakeheadU.Ca> dnwangus@flash.LakeheadU.Ca (Dave Angus) writes:
>In article <1992Dec9.195420.2182@scott.skidmore.edu> ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe) writes:
>>   more like the comestain on the sheet of life....and you are,
>>maggot!
>>					sioux
>Please learn to use the SHIFT key.  There is a difference
>between "f" and "F".

eat your shift key.

THEN HOLD VERY STILL, WHILE WE USE A FIFTEEN-POUND SLEDGEHAMMER TO DRIVE
your keyboard way up your ass.
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Single Berkeley or Oakland woman, 18-38 wanted for dinner.
Date: 16 Dec 92 18:25:27 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <1gj21cINN7an@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>
>In a previous article, gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) says:
>
>>Mark., clean and gut them, make a stuffing with croutons and the minced
>>heart and liver
>>gooley@netcom.com
>
>Garnish with feet.

You know, I bet even Gooley could get laid in Somalia.

-- 
I hate the 3B2
The 3B2 can bite me.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: SSC
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 23:34:24 GMT


So I go to the local batting cages where this machines pitch
automatically.  I'm in the slow softball underhand pitching cage.  Two
cages over is the 80mph baseball cage.  Some bastard whacks his 80mph
pitch and it bounces off the fence poll, and crashs into my shin.

I had a huge black an blue mark and a bump the size of a baseball.

The next day, you tell me, which batting cage did I tell the chicks at
work I was batting in?  Yep, that new fangled 120mph cage, when the
machine malfunctioned and pitched too low.  


carasso,
war hero



Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: adams@isis.cshl.org (Chris Adams)
Subject: Re: Will I go to hell just for thinking this?
Organization: Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 23:40:42 GMT

In article <gerald.724349519@gerald> gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com writes:
>understand the reference (like when I listen to Dennis Miller, and don't
>get any of the jokes because they are about obscure people that nobody has
>heard of).

I wish this surprised me.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre