X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11]
Approved-By:  Bill McGarry <wtm@SHELDEV.SHEL.ISC-BR.COM>
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.l-hcap
Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 12:45:49 EST
Reply-To:     Bill McGarry <wtm@sheldev.shel.isc-br.com>
From:         Bill McGarry <wtm@sheldev.shel.isc-br.com>
Subject:      Handicap Digest # 3119

                             THE HANDICAP DIGEST

                                 Issue # 3119

                         Thursday, January 28, 1993

Today's Topics:


                                ******


                               crafts and pain
                                 depression
                                  your TENS
                                  scoliosis
                           Endorphins to the Max!
                           Endorphins to the Max!
                           Endorphins to the Max!
                                 RE: Lament
                              Re: side effects
                               TENS TREATMENT


                                ******


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thoughts in the next issue, please send electronic mail to
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Subject: crafts and pain
From: Linda.Cummings@f34.n375.z1.fidonet.org (Linda Cummings)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:375/34 - Batteries Included, Montgomery AL


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

Hi everybody!  In the Crafting echo, we touched a bit on how doing
crafts can sometimes be a stress reducer.  Anyway, Lynn Hill came
up with this bit of information, and I thought I'd pass it along to
you guys.

 * Forwarded from "Crafting"
 * Originally by Lynn Hill
 * Originally to anyone interested
 * Originally dated 10 Jan 1993, 14:24

Hi, friends!

Several people have recently mentioned crafts as a way to take
their minds off of physical pain, stress, etc.  I read something
interesting in a book called "Drawing on the Right Side of the
Brain", by Betty Edwards, pertaining to this.

The book is mainly about teaching yourself to draw, but almost half
of it is about how your brain is thought to function, with the
"Right" and "Left" halves, and that theory is explained.  Ms.
Edwards points out that activities like drawing, artistic work of
any kind (this includes crafts!), synthesizing, finding likenesses
between things, intuiting ideas, etc., are done by the right side
of your brain.  Things like words, analyzing things, logic,
symbolism, handling facts and figures, are done by the left side.
Most of us spend a lot of time doing things with our left brain --
daily work, figuring bills, etc.

The upshot of Ms. Edwards' book is that by letting your mind
"shift" more to the right side of the brain, you can work
creatively (in drawing, crafts or any other area) with freedom and
joy, without fretting and worrying and zapping your confidence in
yourself (left brain functions).  And surprisingly, you do much
better!  You also tend to lose track of time passing, any words you
were trying to say to someone (as in, attempting to teach someone
your craft), and most of the jumbled thoughts that cause stress.
This brings about the relaxing getaway feeling that comes with
getting involved happily in something creative that you enjoy.

Later in the book, Ms. Edwards describes several fun and easy
exercises to help people experience the "mind shift" and also to
teach themselves to draw realistically and naturally.  If anyone
wants to look for this book in your library, I recommend it.  It's
fascinating reading, even if you don't want to learn about
drawing.  You might even find that you do want to learn!  :)

In stitches, Lynn

--
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Subject: depression
From: Bob.Paddock@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Bob Paddock)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:261/1000 - Nerve Center, Pikesville MD


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

This is Karen Shettler.

Would the spinal cord implant stimulator be hard to put in my neck
because I can turn my neck?  Would the movement in my neck hurt
anything?

As far as my problem with depression it is sort of like this,  the
depression isn't to bad most of the time but sometimes, like all of a
sudden I get very depressed and think about bad things, mainly sucuide.
I don't think the depression is caused by anything that happened earlier
that day.  The depression just seems to occur for no reason at all.
When I do feel depressed like that I would never physically hurt another
person but I really do feel like killing myself.  Sometimes I can go
for a month or two before I get into this kind of depression and
sometimes a may get it just a few days apart.  I hide all of these
feelings from everybody in my family except Bob.  Because sometimes, in
the past I have forgot to hide these feelings from them and that just
starts an argument with them because they say that NOTHINGS wrong with
me.  Because they heard a doctor tell me that nothing was wrong and that
my pain was all mental, not physical.  My family doesn't believe chronic
pain exists.

A family member came home from work the other day, (they works for a
Visiting Nurses Association), they had stayed with a guy today who had
both of his legs crushed by one of those buckets that people use when
they work on phone or electric lines that are on a pole.  Anyway his
accident happened on 12-03-92 he's had multiple surgeries to repair his
legs and broken leg bones.  One of this guys legs is completely in a
cast and the other leg he can only bend his knee about 10 degrees.  And
my family member said that the guy they were working for told them that
his doctor said that the pain the he is feeling really isn't there
because since he has been in pain so long (one month) his body can't
tell when the pain is really gone. What I am trying to say here is that
the doctor is telling this guy that he isn't in pain.

Now how can anyone believe that something like I just described wouldn't
hurt.  I don't know what doctor he goes to.  But one things for sure I
KNOW that doctor is a IDIOT.

Just about all of the medical doctors I've been to have rejected me in
one way or another.  I've been to so many doctors that I can't even
remember all of them.

--
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Subject: your TENS
From: Bob.Paddock@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Bob Paddock)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:261/1000 - Nerve Center, Pikesville MD


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

This is Karen Shettler.

AS>Hi Karen, The TENS unit I'm using now is actually better because it's a newe
AS>model and I do find it just as effective now as I did when
AS>I started using it. I use it on my lower back (L4/L5 disc

How often do you wear it?  When I wore it, I wore it all of the time,
except when I layed down.  I always had a problem with sores no matter
what kind of electrode I tried.  At the store where I got my TENS unit
and electrodes, they gave me some stuff to put on the sores.  It seemed
to help a little but not a whole lot.

--
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Subject: scoliosis
From: Bob.Paddock@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Bob Paddock)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:261/1000 - Nerve Center, Pikesville MD


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

This is Karen Shettler.

PM>In those 15 years, he has treated me for recurring back pain from
PM>scoliosis.  He has treated me for major back problems from a near miss

How bad is your scoliosis?  I also have it.  I don't think mine is real
bad but it is definitly noticable to an untrained eye.  For one thing my
left hip didn't grow quite as big as my right hip.  That threw my spine
off balance. Some, I'm not sure as to which ones, of my lumbar vertibra
have rotated to the left.  On some days my left shoulder is higher then
my right shoulder and on other days my right shoulder is higher then the
left, and on some days they look even to me when I look in the mirror.
Now scoliosis is just complicating my pain problem.

Another thing that is sort of strange is that before my accident my
cervical vertibra were NOT rotated.  I have proof because of X-rays
taken a few months before my accident.  The accident rotated my cervical
vertibra to the right.  I would think that a doctor should be able to
unrotate the cervical vertibra because they didn't grow in the rotated
position.

How has your doctor treated your scoliosis?  Maybe you can tell me what
has helped relieve your back pain from scoliosis and then I may suggest
what you tell me to my doctor.  What type of doctor is your doctor?

I don't think moving to Michigan would be possible.  I live in
Pennsylvania in Clarion County in a village called Lamartine.

PM>You *people* are everywhere... <big grin>  So, I have to ask, you have a
PM>MI/OH call sign, Karen has a Canadian (?) call sign.... Is this a long
PM>distance relationship? <grin>

My call sign is an American Advanced class call sign.  Bob took his test
when he lived in Ohio.  That is why he has a call with an 8 in it.  Bob
now spends just about all of his time in Pennsylvania.  Since my
mailing address is a Pennsylvania address that is why my call sign has a
3 in it.  This is not a long distance relationship between us.

PM>Please don't take offense to my comment.  My husband is a Ham, I
I didn't take any offense to anything youv'e said.

PM>Have you been in PT at all?  The pain you describe is very much like the

Yes I took about eight weeks of physical therapy.  It didn't help at
all.

--
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------



Subject: Endorphins to the Max!
From: Bob.Paddock@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Bob Paddock)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:261/1000 - Nerve Center, Pikesville MD


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

LC>My problem is that my body, most likely,
LC>according to the Birmingham Pain Clinic, has very low
LC>endorphins to stimulate.

        Ok, then lets fix that:

        *THE* most fascinating book I have *EVER* read (I live in a
very isolated valley, so there is nothing to do but read, so I read a
LOT!) is:

"Super-Memory: The Revolution;  Discover the creative alchemy of
memory.  New solutions for health and learning, success and
re-membering." By Sheila Ostrander and Lynn Schroeder.
ISBN 0-88184-691-0

        This book covers the history of memory research.  It is not a
'how to remember this or that' type of book.  I haven't come across a
subject that this book has not some how touched upon, which brings us
to enhancing endorphin production.

        Out of context of the opening here may not be the best but
I'll give it a shot.

        Lets start in the last chapter of our chronicle here first, we
jump to chapter 19: "Mind/Memory Fitness Machines" from page 263:

        "Why did the electro-acupuncture treatment work so effectively
on drug addiction?  Dr. Wen wondered....

        "Dr. Wen's idea was to track endorphins in the rats' brains
...  Endorphins (from ENDOGENOUS and MORPHINE -- 'Built-in morphine')
are pain killers the body manufactures and are many times more
effective than morphine.  When the body is given a massive doses of
morphine, the part of the brain that manufactures neurotransmitters
shuts down.  When a person tries to kick drugs, the body is in agony
because the neurotransmitters are depleted and the 'little factories'
in the brain don't start up production of the body's natural pain
killers for some time."  [I trying explains why you hurt, not say you
have a morphine addiction...hope you understand...]

        ....

        "Batch number two of heroin-addicted rats was luckier.  They
went cold turkey and then had electro-acupuncture stimulation through
metal clips attached to their bodies.  The rats were stimulated at 111
hertz.  WITHIN FORTY MINUTES OF APPLYING THE VOLTAGE, THE BRAIN'S
ABILITY TO PRODUCE ITS OWN NEUROTRANSMITTERS WAS REHABILITATED.
WITHIN THREE TO FIVE DAYS IT REACHED NORMAL.  Within forty minutes
withdrawal pain was gone and within three to five days addiction
withdrawal and symptoms were gone."   [See also the work of Dr. Bob
Beck on further pages...  Also look for info on Rife devices from other
areas.]

        Next we jump back to chapter ten (10) "Gray Matter Music"
and the works of Dr. Alfred Tomatis a famous ear, nose, and throat
specialist, a member of the French Academy of Sciences.

        Pg 126:  Dr. Tomatis's invention of the Electronic Ear
"bombards the inner ear with certain high frequency sounds that
gradually allow the ear to hear a wider and higher rage of
frequencies.  It made a slightly abrasive hissing noise mingled with
the music.  The sequences of the selections made little difference; it
just had to have high-frequency sounds in at least the 8,000 hertz and
higher range. [You can't start out at 8,000Hz you ear has to build up
to it.]  Those high sounds seemed to be ambrosia for the brain.  After
hearing the frequencies for 100 to 200 hours, the brain seemed to be
become harmonized and energized and sent out signals to the rest of
the whole system.  [The book "Sound Therapy For The Walk Man" by
Patrica Joudry ISBN 0-9691687-0-5.  Goes into great detail.]

     Chapter 11: "The 'Ear Force':  The Overlooked Memory Power":

        Pg 132:  Dr. Tomatis says the ear "is not only for hearing,
but is also intended to use sound to provide a charge of electrical
potential to the brain.  The cortex then distributes the resulting
charge throughout your body....HIGH FREQUENCIES SPED UP THE RECHARGING
PROCESS OF THE BRAIN BATTERIES."

        "Can you just switch on your stereo and instantly recharge
your brain cells?  Not exactly, not unless you're already an inner ear
athlete.  The beneficial sounds can't help you if you can't hear
them.  To be able to hear high frequencies, most people have to have
the inner ear 'opened." .... Tomatis invented the Electronic Ear, a
device that is like a 'fitness center for the middle ear.'...."

        "....Once the middle ear had been tuned to high-frequency
response, then the brain responded swiftly to the recharge.  Ear Force
= Brain Force...the ear is meant to benefit the entire organism
psychologically and physically."

        Pg 134:   "Brain Drain Sounds"  Low-frequency sounds, on the
other hand, he [Tomatis] found, could act as brain drain sounds -
poison for the brain.  Low-frequency noise from traffic, airports, or
construction sites not only could induce hearing loss but could
actually drain the brain of energy....Low pounding sounds of rock
music are designed to force you into mechanical movement, Tomatis
says, but can discharge your mental and physical energy...."

        Pg 135:  Tomatis "founded a whole new scientific discipline
Audio-Psycho-Phonology (APP), and the research fills volumes of
scientific journals and books."  [Alas they are mostly in French, I'm
still working on German, one at a time please..]

        Pg 136: "The Ear Force and Acupuncture":  "... The major
acupuncture point for whole body anesthesia is #86 on the Heart/Lung
meridian, on the shell of the ear.  Electrically stimulating this
point has now been proven to produce endorphins - the body's own
natural pain/stress relievers and pleasure producers.  Research in
Hong Kong showed specific electrical frequencies enhance endorphin
production. (See p. 263 [Above])  There would seem to be
endorphin-producing sound frequencies widespread throughout Sound
Therapy classical music selections.  These sound frequencies must
stimulate this point on the ear through the earphones because
virtually all Sound Therapy tape listeners report stress/pain
relief..."

        We'll leave Sound Therapy behind for the moment and move on to
"Sophrology Musical Memory Booster" on page 146:

        "Dr Raymond Abrezol, the Swiss Sophrologist, has taken a
musical technique he developed to help people overcome pain and
turned it into a memory booster.  Aware of the body-balancing effect of
baroque music, Abrezol created "Turning Sound" - baroque organ music
with certain frequencies electronically altered, music that moves
gently, rhythmically, back and forth from one brain hemisphere to the
other.  He added a breathing signal to further draw the listener into
the rhythmic pattern, a harmonious pattern that seems to lift one
into an another state.

        Abrezol gave tapes to his clients and other doctors.  A
popular form of pain control had been born!  Throughout the 80s
"Turning Sound" sold widely in Europe and has proven to be great boon
in natural childbirth..."

         [I'm getting long here please see the next message.]

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Subject: Endorphins to the Max!
From: Bob.Paddock@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Bob Paddock)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:261/1000 - Nerve Center, Pikesville MD


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

        [This is continued from the last message:]

LC>My problem is that my body, most likely,
LC>according to the Birmingham Pain Clinic, has very low
LC>endorphins to stimulate.

        Now we move onto chapter 18 "Eat To Remember" first a cation
from page 237:  "Phenylalanine has also been successful as an appetite
suppressant and diet aid.  (A caution:  Many diet sodas contain
aspertame [NutraSweet {TM}].  This artificial sweetener is a peptide,
made by combining phenylalanine with another amino acid, aspartic
acid. [Two or more linked aminos equal a peptide.]  In extremely
large dosages, phenylalanine can increase blood pressure.  If you
consume a lot of diet soda and also take supplements of phenylalanine,
check your blood pressure.  In addition, some people report an
allergic reaction to phenylalanine.  It also should not be used by
people with an inherited inability to metabolize phenylalanine.).

        Pg 238: "Miraculous Natural Pain Control Breakthrough": "...

"-- the nutritional control of chronic pain - has generated worldwide
excitement in recent years.  Tests on supremely grateful patients have
resulted in reams of glowing reports from [many places]:  'Excellent
relief from low back pain,' 'complete relief from whiplash,'
'excellent relief from osteoarthritis pain', the list goes on and on.
Relief from cramps, migraine, neuralgia, postoperative pain,
fibrositis...All were patents who'd previously tried pain drugs and
gotten no relief from them.  Both pain and pain drugs, of course, can
lower mind/memory abilities.

        "This natural food substance is totally nontoxic, has no side
effects [See notes on personal experiences at the end of messages
please]. because it's not a drug, it is not [physically] habit forming,
is long lasting and safe.  What is this amazing, miraculous substance?
Phenylalanine, the now famous amino acid.  [I skipped the chapters here
where it became famous. :-( ]

        For pain, D-phenylalanine is used, the mirror image of
L-phenylalanine. (L stands for "laevo" or left-handed, and "D" for
"dextro" right-handed.)  Some formulations, called DLPA, combine both
D and L forms.

        "Research at both the University of Chicago Medical School and
John Hopkins University School of Medicean showed DL-phenylalanine to be
85% to 90% effective for the control and reduction of chronic pain.
Studies showed the analgesic effect of DLPA equals or exceeds that of
morphine and other opiates derivatives.  Morphine and other opiates
frequently impair memory and mental functions, leaving people confused
and disoriented.  Nontoxic DL-phenylalanine could surely be an
incredible boon to the approximately 50 million Americans suffering
intracable pain from arthritis, back injuries, or osteoporosis.  How
does it work?"

                       "Endorphins to the Max"

        "The brain produces its own powerful pain-relieving compounds
called endorphins, similar to morphine.  Pain signals during an injury
tell the brain to release these pain-relieving chemicals.  People have
often reported crawling out of a sever car accident, unaware of their
injuries, and felling no pain until later.

        "Giving people endorphins directly to control pain requires
injecting endorphins directly into the brain or spinal cord, a
dangerous procedure.  In addition, the body's enzyme system constantly
destroys endorphins.  [Maybe you have to many enzyme's not to few
endorphins?]

        "In a major breakthrough, scientists found that
DL-phenylalanine blocks the enzymes that destroy endorphins.  Thus
chronic pain could be controlled by the brain's own natural
pain-relieving substances, and actions of DLPA occur completely
natural means.  DLPA relieves pain with absolutely no side effects -
no 'drugged' feeling, no memory fog, no clouded mind or fuzzy
alertness as happens with many strong pain-relieving drugs.  No
[physical] addiction.  Moreover, pain relief is selective:  chronic
pain is relieved, but you are not anesthetized, you can still sense a
hot pot on the stove.  Another big plus is that DLPA also eases the
depression and misery that so often go along with debilitating chronic
pain.

        "For pain relief, tablets of 375 mg. of DLPA, 6 a day, 2
before each meal, have been prescribed by researches.  DLPA worked
even better when vitamins C and B6 were taken too.  We have tried out
DLPA for back pain and headaches and found it highly effective."

               Pg 239: "Endorphin Power v. Addictions"

        "...It seems that natural substance phenylalanine and
DL-phenylalanine can boost mental/creative abilities safely with no
addiction.  They can supply nourishment instead of a downer afterward.
Phenylalanine works by causing the brain to increase both its
production its stores of the neurotransmitter norepinephrine.  In
addition, DL-phenylalanine relieves pain and depression and has a
euphoriant quality because it prevents the destruction of endorphins
and enkephalins, then brain's own natural morphine."

        Pg 240:  "Both phenylalanine and DLPA have already proved a
boon in helping some people get off addictive drugs, by providing the
mental benefits with no side effects at low cost..."  [and on and on it
goes, but I think I've made my point now.]

                    [Please see the next message.]

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Subject: Endorphins to the Max!
From: Bob.Paddock@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Bob Paddock)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:261/1000 - Nerve Center, Pikesville MD


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

              [This is continued from the last message:]

LC>My problem is that my body, most likely,
LC>according to the Birmingham Pain Clinic, has very low
LC>endorphins to stimulate.

        Here are a few personal experience with all of the above
glop..

        A neighbor of mine gave Karen some DLPA, he didn't want it
because it gave him a headache.  Karen has taken DLPA from Sundown
Vitamins of Ft. Lauderdale, FL, with no side effects.  When she got
low she switched to GNC brand and that gave here chest pains, so she
went back to Sundown [Many other drugs have given her chest pains, or
breathing problems, so this may be unique to her].  GNC is the 'health
food store' in several of our malls around here.  One store seems only
interested in body building, the other seems more general in nature, so
try more than one place to find it.

        I'm forever having to remind Karen to take these with her
meals, like the above info says.  I'd hate to see what her depression
would be like if she stoped taking them.  Since she hasn't stopped
taking them, we can't conclusively say they are doing her any good.

        It says above to take with Vitamin "C".  One of the leading
nutrition gurus in this country told us how to find the correct
amount to take.  Basically you start out at 500 mg and go up 500 mg at a
time to you find that it gave you diarrhea, then back off a few hundred
mg.  I found that I can take 3000 mg a day, but not 4000 mg.  If you
have some problem like a cold you may be able, and need, to take much
more, like up to 8000 mg a day (in one case).

        I tried listening to the Turning Sound tape while I was
working, I found it most irritating.  Perhaps if I was in a nice
relaxed place it would have been helpful.  Karen tried it once while
we where driving down the road, she gave no real indication of what
she thought about it.

        Karen can't listen to tapes at home because of problems with
her family.  My parents are more open minded, but we don't listen to
them there either, because of not wanting to answer a zillion
questions; they also only listen to their doctors about any thing,
don't want to hear any thing from us.  My grandmother hasn't been to a
doctor in 30 years, she uses things like spice poultices ect, she seems
in far better health, at twice their age, than my parents, who seem to
go to the doctor each week for some thing or other.  They pop pills
with no idea whats in them.  Karen and I are trying to go with things
like herbs, and more basic foods to stay health, things that we know
whats in them.  What WAS in that last pill you just took?

        I've listened to the Sound Therapy tape, for weeks at a time
while at work.  These tapes seem to be unique, you can still hear
every thing that is going on around you while you are listening with
headphones on (the only way that they are effective).  I can't say
that I've found any improvement in memory, sleep reduction (a useful
side effect), or pain reduction (I don't have any to reduce).   But I
must add that I haven't been listening to them 7 days a week like the
instructions say.   They say you have to listen to them at least four
hours a day EVERY day, any where from 100 to 300 hours before you
notice any effect.  It is pleasant listening so it is not as bad as it
sounds, you actually miss it when you can't hear it.  I can't listen
on the weekends because of the aforementioned parent problem.

        Alvan Tolavor (Spelling?) in his book "Future Shock" gave a
stern warning about the brain-food/electronic-mind-stimulation, that
it is psychologically addicting...

               For further information Please refer to:

                            Superlearning
                          450 Seventh Avenue
                          New York, NY 10123
                         Phone (212) 279-8450
                  FAX:  (212) 695-9288/24 Hrs. a day
  Ask for a catalog, on SuperMemory tapes, and Turning Sound Tapes.

                   Sound Therapy, St. Peter's Press
                          Box 190, Muenster
                    Saskatchewan, Canada S0K 2Y0

        For high-frequency Sound Therapy cassettes and the Sound
Therapy book are available for $255 which includes shipping.

                            Centre Tomatis
                        68 Blvd. De Courcelles
                         75017 Paris, France.

        You must have a portable tape player that can play metal tapes
at up to at least 16,000 Hz, to use any of the above tapes, otherwise
don't bother...I went through three Sonys, they kept breaking...

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Subject: RE: Lament
From: Stefan.Welch@p0.f33.n125.z1.fidonet.org (Stefan Welch)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:125/33.0 - BODY DHARMA ONLINE, Oakland CA


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

 -=> Quoting Mike Long to Stefan Welch <=-

 ML> In a message to everyone written on Tuesday, January 5, 1993 at
 ML> 20:08:31, Stefan Welch writes:

 SW >  Hello all.  Yes, you, and you, and you.  And you there, over in

 ML> Hello Stefan,  you are never alone.  There are many friends across the
 ML> lines.

 Hello Mike, thanks for your reply, the big dark wave is passing
 (talking about it helped me to see things more clearly). Seems like
 my message touched close to home with you. As I thought later about
 what I had written, I realized that the more core issue was that I
 felt like I had lost myself. I'd look in the mirror and say, "Who's
 that?" I think that I held the idea that I would be festored to
 myself "when I got well." Today I feel more whole with a
 Stefan-person who is interesting and also has nerve pain--that's the
 ballgame--and I feel renewed and more ready to take on life. I've
 always felt that I needed "to take big bites." [chomp, chew] Time for
 some big bites out of life including that I hurt, not waiting for it
 to go away. Something like anticipating getting better without
 waiting for it.

 ML> Sometimes we feel like we have been abandon, cast aside as we
 ML> sit and watch the world go by.  I know for I have felt this way for
 ML> many years even though I  have a wonderful wife and beautiful children.
 ML> I feel that I have been a burden to them, that I have dragged them
 ML> down into a life that is filled with more downs than ups.  I feel that

 So Mike, let me pose a hypothetical question to see what picture you
 draw and what I might learn from it. Given that you have pain that
 limits you, what would the picture look like if you felt you were NOT
 a drag on your family. Is there some way a person could reframe the
 same picture so that it was more golden and less ragged? Actually,
 posing this question gets me to thinking about my situation and a
 good friend of mine who is HIV+. I'm in pain, he is dying, and
 somewhere in all of that we have develped one of the richest
 friendships of my life. Rhetorical: what would I do to extend that as
 far as possible to other areas of my life? Hmm. Extending that
 compassions feels goo to me. Do I digress too intellectually here?

 ML> ...  The depression sinks
 ML> in, deeper in the winter as this time of year seems to make things
 ML> worst.  Another birthday rolls by reminding me that I have not been
 ML> able to change my situation around not that I haven't tried and keep on
 ML> trying to.  It seems for every step I take forward  I go back two. I'm
 ML> unable to work which was my pride and joy knowing I was a good provider
 ML> for my family.

 I'm banging around inside here looking for alternative ways of
 thinking. The year end, and birthdays (mine was Dec. 14) do pass as
 mile markers. Conjoined with the passing, I review how the year has
 gone and note feeling sad, or maybe impotent, at flagging another
 passed year, and still there is pain. In this moment it feels like
 I'm giving it too much power, too much influence, by feeling
 defeated. So ... onwards and upwards (to quote an old one). I feel
 like I'm bouncing back to what I said above: There is pain, that is
 part of the picture. Right, Ok. Now lets go take some BIG bites.
 [gnash, chomp, bite, chew!!] ;-)

 I'm flip-flopping; talking to myself, talking to you. it's been
 interesting talking to myself; has any of this helped you?

 As you have also said, humor is the best medicine. Right on! I do
 feel much better than last week--ready to play again. ;-)

 Take care, toddle-oo,

 Stefan

... Radioactive halibut make good fission chips.

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Subject: Re: side effects
From: Stefan.Welch@p0.f33.n125.z1.fidonet.org (Stefan Welch)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:125/33.0 - BODY DHARMA ONLINE, Oakland CA


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

 -=> Quoting Bill Waller to Stefan Welch <=-

 Hi Bill,

 BW> The imipramine caused me to feel kind of out of it.  I heard one
 BW> person say that they felt as if they were outside their body.  This is
 ...
 BW> switched me to Ritalin.  This drug is used as an anti-depressant
 ...
 BW> hyperflexia).  I don't know how the Ritalin works, but perhaps the

 Hyperflexia means?? My medical dictionary doesn't have it and my
 on-line electronic dictionary offers back _hypersexual_. Hmmm. I
 wonder if it has an agenda in mind? [grin]

 BW> taking the Tofranil.  I have been taking the Tofranil again for about
 BW> two weeks (50mg a day), and hopefully, It will do some good.  How long
 BW> did it take before you got relief.

 I've been up at 100mg now for months. I'm not sure that it is giving
 significant pain relief for me. Two weeks is considered to be a
 _minimum_ time for noticing any benefit.

 BW> This weekend, I tried taking Vicodin ES, but it makes me itch.  Also,
 BW> I just don't feel as good when I take it.  I used to take Talwin-NX
 BW> until it started keeping me up at night.

 Vicodin & Talwin tend to make me dumb and in pain, but not care that
 I'm in pain. Never gotten valuable relief that left me lucid enough
 to do anything.  Nice trip, but not worth it. [grin]

 BW> My work is very technical.  I need a crystal clear mind to work.  Pain
 BW> absolutely disrupts my concentration.  There is a very fine balance
 BW> between relief of pain and the mental clouding caused by medications.

 Ain't that the truth! Pain meds tend to yield: "The lights are on,
 but nobody's home."  You are doing software development?

 BW> on my leg and arm pain.  What I really want is a drug that has not yet
 BW> been discovered.  It would relieve pain with no side effects!

 Yeah! That _is_ the one we're all waiting for isn't it. [wink, smile]

 BW> I have been encouraged to pursue self-hypnosis/relaxation/meditation
 BW> techniques.  I know I should do this, but I think it would be of
 BW> limited use in my case because the pain is so completely overwhelming.
 BW> When it hits, I can hardly move.  All I want to do is lay down and
 BW> stay motionless.  Every minute passes as if it were an hour.  It is
 BW> a very hopeless feeling.  Then, with even small doses of opiod pain
 BW> medication, I can be back on the job, absorbed in my work.

 Small amounts of opioid meds works? And your doc doesn't want to use
 this approach? Even as part of a large plan?

 Well, Bill, my heart goes out to you; pain can bring on that huge
 sense of overwhelm when it gets bad. If you wouldn't mind I'd like to
 describe the situation I was in starting in 1974 for a number of
 years. Resulting from a spinal gone wrong (for knee surgery) that was
 further exaserbated by epidural cortisone injections, my whole body
 from just below my ribs to the tips of my toes hurt with deep,
 intense, fire-like pain. This was not fun as you doubtless can
 attest. I worked with all sorts of traditional and non-traditional
 approaches and medications. Over time, I rejected narcotics for the
 reasons you do--they produce a druggy, zombie state. Again, over time
 I practiced deep relaxation and self-hypnosis. I didn't have to work,
 so I practice a lot: 4 hours per day. I became skilled enough at it
 to be able to trigger it easily and separate myself from the pain
 well enough to be able to read and carry on a conversation
 (especially if I didn't have to move my body at all.) I'm now not so
 skilled, but do remember the effects all those years ago, so
 gradually I'm practicing again. As I write this, I feel like I'm also
 talking to the part of me that just wants the pain to GO AWAY, to
 leave me alone. Why do I have to have pain and then have to work so
 hard on top of that to manage and get better?! I don't wanna! Ok, now
 that the tantrum has had room to air, I encourage myself to practice
 quiet and deep relaxation. Even now, I have some resistance to it; I
 don't know why, but I coax myself into it. I guess that part of the
 resistance is that, in spending quiet time, the nightmare of the pain
 situation explodes into consciousness. (I'll have ot mess with that
 some to calm it.) So, Mike, I do understand that the pain is
 overwhelming, and I do encourage you to--a little at a time, be kind,
 gentle, and nurturing to yourself--practice
 whatever deep-relaxation/meditation/self-hypnosis you feel might be
 right for you. I feel as if I've coaxed myself into it here; I hope
 this may help you. If this seems too pushy, please let me know.

 BW> idea of being dependant on them.  I go through cycles of getting very
 BW> bad, taking medication and getting better, stopping medication and
 BW> getting worse, ad infinitum.  Am I the only one who does this?

 No, you're not alone in this. Taking narcotics and ascertaining
 effective timing can be tricky. When I was working with Vicodin, I
 found myself on the same roller coaster you describe and curled up
 whimpering in the middle of the night. Others in this echo have
 mentioned similar fitful swings.

 Take care,    :-)

 Stefan

... Feel lucky? Update your software!

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Subject: TENS TREATMENT
From: Arthur.Saus@p160.f72.n376.z1.fidonet.org (Arthur Saus)
Organization: FidoNet node 1:376/72.160 - Mail Room, Columbia SC


[This is from the Chronic Pain Conference]

Hello Renee!

11 Jan 93, Renee Berg writes to All:

 RB> Can you please explain this Tens treatment?

TENS is an abreviation for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve
Stimulator.  It is a device that connects by wires to electrodes
taped to the skin around a painful area.  It pulses short, frequent
bursts of electricity to the painful area in an attempt to provide
pain relief.  The units can be very simple, or can have have
multiple controls that modify the shape, frequency and pulse
duration of each of the electrical bursts.  Although basically
these are small "shocks" that the unit generates, modification of
the parameters can result in discrete "thuds" or a constant "buzz"
that can range from barely detectable to painful that can either
stay close to the surface of the skin or penetrate deep into the
tissues.

A TENS unit has both medical professionals and patients who think
it is a fantastic device, and others who think it is worthless as a
means of pain control.  Obviously, if it works for your particular
pain problem, it is a great device.

Arthur

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