X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11]
Newsgroups: soc.culture.vietnamese
Date:         Tue, 29 Dec 1992 14:53:47 EST
              USENET." <VIETNET@USCVM.BITNET>
From:         Giap Huynh <giap@NVL.ARMY.MIL>
Subject:      Re: 20/20 The long way home
              "tin@poseidon.smsc.Sony.COM" at Dec 29, 92 10:43 am

>
> Hi Giap,
>
>   Yes, I misunderstood you.  But you did not explain yourself clearly
>   enough in your original message (only one line).  That was why.
>
> >     Of course, we know what you are talking about. You don't have to
 explain.
> >     I'm sorry you didn't understand what was my point. I didn't condemn that
> >     lady at all. I said it's a shame in general if we forget to speak our
> >     own language no matter what reason. It's a feeling one must have felt
> >     hiself or herself. I'm sure if you ask the lady, she will tell you that.
> >     That is why in the end she vowed that she will learn Vietnamese fast
> >     for her next trip. That's what I admired about her.
>
>   If you had said the above in your original message, I would not
>   have said anything.  But your first message sounded like you
>   were putting her down.
>
>   This form of communication, news and email, is easily misunderstood.
>   So you need to make sure that you explain yourself adequately, so that
>   others won't misunderstand you.  That is the reason why I seem to write
>   and say more than I need to... to try to minimize the chance of
>   misunderstanding.
>
> >        I think that when she was young, she made a wrong decision not to
> >     continue to practice Vietnamese with her sibling or at least asked her
> >     adopted parents to help them in making contact with Vietnamese community
> >     here or back home. May be her adopted parents didn't encourage this.
> >     However, they can still do these when they got older. But they chose
> >     not to. That's why they have to face it today and it's sad.
>
>   There are a lot of circumstances where it may not be possible.  Her
>   siblings maybe too young to know much Vietnamese for them to practice
>   together.  The Vietnamese community in her area maybe too small and
>   spreadout (plus trying to survive with jobs and schooling).

    I don't think 10 years old is too young to forget Vietnamese. I
    understood the difficulty you figured out, but few year later if
    she chose to practice with her siblings, she could still do it. Her
    siblings would be 7 to 10 years old by then. We don't expect them
    to speak fluently but at least some.
>
>   Yes, when they are older, they can re-establish contacts with
>   Vietnamese.  But even that is sometime not very easy.  Vietnamese
>   tend to be cliquish and rejects people who they think are "different."
>   It can be hard to make friends with Vietnamese if you are perceived
>   as being Americanized.  This only make it worse and push young
>   people away, just when they are trying to re-learn their culture.
>

    Nobody perceived you as Americanized, unless you chose to be. Your
    generalization of Vietnamese is wrong. Vietnamese live in the U.S.
    in general don't reject their young if they want to "re-learn"
    their culture. In fact, this is what they wish for. I don't know
    what you talked about. You seem still very defensive.

>   It is afterall a two way street.  They are making the efforts, but
>   they also need some help from us to teach them Vietnamese.  We also
>   have to reach out to them.

    Of course!

>
> >        It's a good lesson for parents living in the U.S. to see how
> >     important it is to teach their children their native language unless
> >     they chose not to be Vietnamese.
>
>   Not everyone arrive in the US with their family complete.  Some come
>   here by themself...  There are many different circumstances...
>
    I didn't mean you have to come here as a whole family in order to
    achieve that. Come here by themselve or with no family members is
    not an excuse. If one old enough to realize how important it is,
    then one can always make an effort to overcome. If we can overcame
     death to escape from VN, then this is nothing. A lot of young
    (even 10 years old) Vietnamese achieved this without any problem.

     Again, we should not blame or use this or that reason to cover
     our mistake even the mistake we made when we were young (should
     not be blamed on). The good thing is to realize the mistake and
     to correct them. That's what all about.
> Regards,
> Tin Le
>