Newsgroups: bit.listserv.psycgrad
Date:         Tue, 12 Jan 1993 15:09:45 -0800
              <PSYCGRAD@UOTTAWA.BITNET>
From:         Unabashedly Egregiously Prolix <tbn@UTXVM.CC.UTEXAS.EDU>
Subject:      Re: Request concerning counseling gang members

Sybil writes:

>Jennifer:

(lots of stuff deleted)

>So, in a nutshell, perhaps we can agree to disagree...something that
>seems to be passe these days...

This threw me for a loop when I first read it. It seems to me there are
three main options when two people have an "irreconcilable agreement".

1.      agree to disagree.

2.      one person 'capitulates' on the surface, but deep down still
         disagrees with the other.

3.      continue arguing and getting nowhere in convincing an
         "entrenched opponent of how *correct* one is".

Number one seems like a pretty good option when it's compared to the other
two, but maybe I'm missing another option!

>I still maintain a need for the father's
>presence in the home particularly among economically deprived, educationally
>disadvantaged, and disenfranchised African-American males...Of course
>that may be the ideal but I am hard pressed to rank the remaining viable
>alternatives...A good solid strong single mother, yes that's one and
>certainly seems to work when other factors come together such as
>financial and economic security, strong support systems through family,
>friends and the community etc...but again, the statistics indicate the
>fastest growing group among those living in poverty are children headed
>living in households headed by single women, more specifically MINORITY
>children..

What about an older brother, big brother, coach, etc.? Or would they "not
be enough" for youth in such disadvantaged circumstances?

>
>Finally, if you ask Black women raising sons alone as I have done
>among my friends who are single parents, what THEIR primary concern
>is, I bet many of them would tell you it is their fear, their dread of
>how to go about the business of teaching their sons what it means to
>be a Black man in America.  Consistently, my friends across the country
>will say (particularly, in light of the Rodney King incident bringing
>all of these issues to the forefront) I can teach him how to be a good
>person but he needs a man to show him how to be a man.

Ouch! If this is true, that's really, really sad.

>
>Sybil

Thanks for the thoughtful posting, Sybil.

cheers, Tor


Tor Neilands
Systems Analyst
Statistical Services Group
Computation Center
University of Texas at Austin

Internet:  TBN@Utxvm.cc.utexas.edu
___________________________________________________

"Should they whisper false of you,
    Never trouble to deny;
 Should the words they say be true,
    Weep and storm and swear they lie".
                                                   --- Dorothy Parker

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I, I took
 the road less traveled by, and that has made all the
 difference".                                 --- Robert Frost
___________________________________________________

Disclaimer:  All of the views expressed above are solely
those of the author. Any relationship between my own
views and those of the University of Texas and/or The
Computation Center at the University of Texas are
due merely to regression to the mean.
____________________________________________________
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