From: turner@webb.psych.ufl.edu (Carl Turner)
Newsgroups: alt.brother-jed
Subject: Brother Jed's Greatest Hits--1991 (repost)
Date: 22 Apr 92 15:46:59 GMT
Organization: Univ. of Florida, Psychology Dept.
Status: OR


>is there any sort of FAQ file on jed? address, general
>description of him and his cohorts (physical, theological, 
>psychological, etc) would be appreciated.

Well, not a FAQ file exactly.  It's more of a FREE (Frequently Reported
Evangelical Encounter) file.  I saved the "best" posts to a.b-j in 1991.
Here it is, reproduced in its entirety.

begin included text --------------------------------------------------


>From: 3as@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Laura Shumar)
Date: 4 Jan 91 21:29:32 GMT
Organization: Purdue University


     I got this pamphlet from Bro. Jim Gilles, autographed by him, even, so I t
thought I'd post his story.  It's called "From Running with the Devil to Walking
With Jesus."

DRUGS, DRUGS, AND MORE DRUGS

     By the eighth grade, the seeds of rebellion were well rooted in my heart,
as I became "cool" by using drugs, drinking booze, and listening to rock and 
roll music.
     I spent the first 30 days of my freshman year of high school totally 
stoned out of my mind.  I actually convinced myself that I actually had the
advantage over anyone who was not high.  I was arrested during that year for 
the posession of alcoholic beverages and under 30 grams of marijuana.  The
courts slapped my hands and handed me over to the custody of my parents.
     During my sophomore year of school, my best friend and I got caught, by
the Dean of Students, for smoking pot in the Boy's Room.  That "entitled" us
to two weeks of in-school suspension and a month of detention with work detail
on Saturdays.  Despising authority, we would get high during our work details
and suspension.  In fact, I would even smoke dope in Biology class and during
study halls.  I would do anything at least once if I thought that I could
get away with it.  "Be sure, your sin will find you out." (Numbers 32:23)
     A month or so after the suspension, my friend sideswiped a telephone pole
while doped up.  A policeman saw us and we were picked up again for the same
offense:  posession of pot and booze.  Another hand slap from the courts had
the out on the stre: but when the wicked rule, the people mourn (provs. 29:2)
  By my junior year, I had developed a five-minute ritual of dowining a half a
pint of vodka every morning and getting high before school started.  Lunch
usually consisted of heading across the street to my friend's house to smoke
more marijuana.
 
HOT ROD

     Continuing in my rebillion, I built myself a "Hot Rod" `69 GTO with a 454
Chevrolet "Rat" engine.  It was the fastest car amongst all of the high school
students in the city.  I would strut the machine around town taunting and
daring others to race me.  My parents, concerned about my safety, were 
vehemently opposed to my 600 h.p. status symbol.  But I didn't care what they
said, I was just going to do "my own thing" and let dad do "his thing."


     -More later because I'm tired of typing.  Don't miss the next installment
in Brother Jed's life of Sin and Salvation!!
---- 


>From: dave@infonode.ingr.com (Dave Wilson)
Date: 15 Jan 91 21:15:45 GMT

During one of the many trips to the U of Florida campus, Jed had an
usually large crowd.  He and Cindy were preaching up a storm.  Then
all of a sudden a black guy about 18 yrs. old bursts through the crowd
yelling, "Dad ... Dad ... I've finally found you!  I've been looking
for you for years!" He is yelling this as he runs up and hugs Jed.
The crowd lost it.  It was definately a classic.
-----


>From: dgross@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU (Dave Gross)
Date: 5 Feb 91 23:16:05 GMT

Brother Jed and Brother Bob turned up at the university union at Cal Poly in
San Luis Obispo, California today.  Tomorrow, they're planning to hit San Jose
State, and then on to Berkeley and other San Francisco-area colleges.

Set List:
---------
"I am a hoemoesexual" speech by Brother Bob
"I am a racist" speech by Brother Bob
"Little Sister Gang Bang" speech by Brother Jed -->
"Leather-lined Frat Room" speech by Brother Jed
"I was saved at Burger King" speech by Brother Jed
"Cindy was a Disco Queen" speech by Brother Jed
"The Parable of the Five Dormies" by Brother Jed

This in addition to the usual brilliant improvisation between numbers.

Those of you who have been wondering about Sister Cindy, relax.  She's
pregnant with yet another Spawn of Jed (he has three daughters already).

The "I am a hoemoesexual" speech has to do with the following syllogism:
	I have masturbated
	Masturbation is sex with myself
	I am the same sex as myself
	-------------------------------
	Ergo, I am a hoe moe sexual

So Brother Bob is now firmly out of the closet.  His "I am a racist" speech
has to do with his admiration for the superiority of the Jewish race.

The "Little Sister Gang Bang" is a story about a woman so desperate to become
a little sister to a frat that she promises to for-ni-cate (audience
participation tip:  Copy his hand movement when he says for-ni-cate.  He says
it often) with one of the frat boys.  Whereupon, his frat brothers jump, one
by one out of the closet and say "Frat Brothers Share Everything" and join
in the fun.  The punch line / moral is that the poor little sister-to-be is
thereafter spurned by the frat and doesn't even get to be a little sister.

This leads us to the leather-lined frat room, designed because women get a
special thrill with the leather against their buttocks (he said it, not me).

Then, prompted by a question of mine about the whereabouts of Sister Cindy,
he gave the Sister Cindy, disco queen turned student reported turned Jed
groupie, who was saved and now preaches the gospel when she's not busy being
subservient to her husband.

In with all this was his usual line (probably borrowed verbatim from the
stereotyped male dialogue in a feminist book like "The Women's Room") about
how women need to know their place, be subservient to their men, butt the
hell out of conversations with men like Brother Jed, bake cookies for the
troops in Saudi Arabia, bear children, and stop tempting men with their evil
sexuality.

Which leads us in to the Parable of the Five Dormies, the best opportunity
yet for crowd participation.  It is Brother Jed's adaptation of Proverbs 7
and is all about lustful women getting men into trouble.  There is Brian,
who is seduced by LUSTFUL LISA, spends so much time for-ni-cating that he
flunks out of school, loses his scholarship and is now working at McDonalds.

There is Fred, engaged to a young virgin back in Iowa, but gets seduced by
SEXY SARAH who gives him VD which causes the young virgin to break off the
engagement which causes Fred to kill himself.

Then there was Jerry, star football player who was kicked off the team
because DAIQUIRA DONNA seduced him with the pleasures of sex and alcohol.

And of course Larry who got involved with POTHEAD PAULA and abandoned his
law studies for 10-15 years in the slammer.

Last but not least, there's Horny Harry (who wasn't as handsome as the other
four and had to take whatever he could get) who was stuck with ROCK'N'ROLL
RHONDA who liked one thing better than for-ni-cation, and that was the music
of such folks as:
	THE WHO!
	{At this point, the crowd should join in for the last word of each
	 band name.  i.e. Jed: "The Greatful..."  Crowd: "Dead!"}
	LED ZEPPELIN!
	PINK FLOYD!
	THE GRATEFUL DEAD!
	BLACK SABBATH!
	DEEP PURPLE!
	RUSH	{"Week?"  "around like a chicken with its head cut off?"
		  "uh comma communist?" "special delivery?"
	AC / DC!
	THE SEX PISTOLS!
(and she just loved, loved, loved that pervert MICK JAGGER!)

{ Audience participation idea:  When he gets to the end of his list (at Poly
  he just used a few of the above names) yell, as loud as you can, "BARRY!"
  and a few smart fellows in the crowd are likely to yell back "MANILOW" and
  you can really go places with this... }

Anyway, Poor Horny Harry was influenced by satanic messages in the music.  He
heard the devil telling him he was a hoe-moe-sexual and he's now
cruising the Castro in San Francisco and probably has "AIDS disease."

Jed was so impressed with how well I knew his material, and how I got the
crowd going, (and how sincere my questions were:  "Brother Jed, how can a man
like me, who constantly is fighting thoughts of for-ni-ca-tion and mas-tur-
ba-tion ever hope to purify his soul?") that after he finished the parable
of the five dormies, he handed me the very book he was reading it out of and
told me it was a gift.  I felt blessed.
-----

>From: evan@hplabs.hpl.hp.com (Evan Kirshenbaum)
Date: 8 Feb 91 21:12:00 GMT


When we were at Stanford, my (now) wife was taking a course on "The
Psychology of Mind Control" (studying Cults, Preachers, POW camps,
Salesmen, etc.) when Brother Jim showed up to do his thing.  He was
invited to speak to the class, and she remembers the class having a
lot of fun with it and Prof. Zimbardo having trouble keeping a
straight face.

Brother Jed was better at managing a crowd, though.
----


>From: dgross@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU (Dave Gross)
Date: 21 Feb 91 02:07:39 GMT

Evangelist George (Jed) Smock's "The Campus Ministry, USA" has moved.  The
new address is:
	P.O. Box 75202
	Washington, DC 20013-5202
	(703) 379-4965

His latest newsletter has stuff about toad-licking and an ad for his video
"The School Master."  This videotape is 3-hours long and costs $25.  According
to the blurb, it "features segments from Lousisian State, Ohio State and the
University of Toledo with campus preachers Jed Smock, Sister Cindy, Paul
Bradley, Rich Stamm, Jim Gillis, Max Lynch, Evangeline and Charlotte Smock ...
and of course, those great hecklers!"
-----

>From: pete@mimsy.umd.edu (Pete Cottrell)
Date: 13 Mar 91 06:42:05 GMT
Organization: U of Maryland, Dept. of Computer Science, Coll. Pk., MD 20742

	Good news for fans on the east coast! Brother Jed has shown up
here at the University of Maryland for the last 2 days and will be hitting
other campuses in the coming days. I saw him just after seeing a Marvin
Minsky lecture - what a contrast! Between the two, I had a full day. 
	It's really kinda strange the way I found out about him. I didn't
know he was here yesterday, or that he was even on the east coast. I 
was walking back from the lecture when I swung by the student union
building for a sandwich at the food co-op. As I left the building, I saw
2 cops talking to some guy and when I looked at the guy, I stopped dead
in my tracks. It was Jed! I'd only seen him twice in the last 10 years,
but I recognized him right away. I stopped and listened to what the cops
were saying - he was in an area where he needed a permit and he didn't have
one. He moved to the sidewalk in front of the building and started
preaching from there, but no one was stopping and he was hard to hear
because of the traffic. Eventually another cop came up and wanted some
identification, to find out who he was. Jed apparently has a trick of
pulling out a portable tape recorder and turning it on when talking to 
cops, I guess to protect himself. The cops didn't like it and wouldn't
talk to him until he turned it off. Anyway, the cop took down all this
information and then said that Jed could go inside the building and get
a permit. Jed's problem is that it takes 5 days to get a permit and he
wouldn't still be here; the cop said that that wasn't his problem. So Jed
went inside to talk to the permit people and the cops left. About 15
minutes later, he was back out where he was originally and started preaching 
again. This time he got a crowd. Eventually the cops came back and Jed 
mumbled something about the people inside not minding if he preached. This
time, the cops backed off, but hung around.
	So Jed got going, pissing people off. The crowd got bigger and bigger
and more vocal. It's been a while since I've seen him, but he seemed more
animated than before. It's hard to explain - I guess the first 2 times I
saw him, he seemed more driven and more fanatical and raved more. Now he 
seems more polished, as if he's more comfortable with his act. He seems
to relish telling the parts that he knows will titillate or stir up the
crowd, says them with a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face. The
consistent favorite is telling the women that they should be subservient 
to their father or their husband, depending on what stage of their life 
they're in (i.e., who owns them).
	As in most of his appearances, as the crowd gets bigger, the whole
thing devolves into a shouting and mocking match and it is hard for him to
say much that I can tell you about. Before the crowd got too big, I was able 
to get him to talk about divorce. He says that the only grounds for divorce
is adultery. When I asked him about a woman divorcing a husband that 
repeatedly beat her, he said that there was another alternative: separation.
He says that divorce is not OK in this case, although he wavered a bit.
He said that people who made their bed had to lie in it and that anyone
who beat their wife when they were married probably did it when they were
courting, and was probably doing it under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
His message was that basically the women should have known better than to
marry the guy and they now had to live with their mistake. Besides, he says,
the bible talks about the joys of a single life serving God, and who knows,
maybe the man will eventually come around.
	The Jed gems: some women were walking by eating apples and Jed
shouted at them as they passed "I hope you haven't eaten from the
forbidden fruit!!!". They hadn't been aware of him up until then and
were kinda knocked for a loop. He did his usual stuff about women knowing
their place (or not knowing it, rather), about the whores on campus
spreading their legs for every "Tom, Dick and Haaarrrryyyyyyyy" and
about how the guys don't respect the women. Homosexuals got their usual
condemnation ("No one is born with a penis in their throat") and he also
did his thing on masturbation (it is a homosexual act - sex with yourself
is sex with someone of the same sex, so ....he says). A new bit that was
amusing was when all of a sudden, he ran a few steps, huddled down a bit
in something like a self-hug and shouted "I have experienced the ultimate
seeeeeexxxxxxxx aaaaacccctttttt!". No, folks, it isn't the venus butterfly,
it is conjugal relations with Sister Cindy in a loving, married Christian
relationship (as an aside, Jed said "By the way, she is turning into a
very productive baby-factory").
	As far as I could tell, I was the only one there who had seen him
before (other than the day before), so I knew lots of the responses to his
things and when things were disintegrating, I was able to get him to tell
2 stories. The first was "How it all started", subtitled "The making and
breaking of a hippie". It is his story and many of you have heard it. He
had another subtitle for it that I hadn't heard before: "What really
happened at the Burger King"; I have no idea what this means. I got a few
good answers in: the first concert he saw in San Francisco was when he saw
the "Greaaaaaatful Deeeeeeaaaaad" and the first album he bought was 
"Cheeeeaaaaap Thriiillllllllls".
	Later on, he told the fraternity house story, where he lived as
a student and which had a "fornication" room downstairs called the darkroom. 
It had black walls and black leather couches, because the girls like to feel
the leather on their thighs, he says. He would always try to get the
women who he saw with cigarettes in their mouths, since if they put a
cigarette in their mouth, they might put anything in there (I'm telling
ya, he is really into telling these stories). The story ends with the 
statement that "many a girl was overexposed in the darkroom".
	I tried to get him to tell the Sister Cindy disco queen story,
but he never really did, although he did say that she had led a sordid
life before he straightened her out and before she became a born-again
virgin.
	Geez, this is longer than I thought, so I'll wrap up. During the
2 hours I saw him when he was really cooking, the cops moved him once again
because the crowd was too big and was blocking the entrances. At another
point, they stepped in when the crowd was surrounding him too closely and
they feared for his safety (just before this, one guy was really cussing
Jed out and was telling Jed that he was going to kick Jed's ass).
	For the record, the University of Maryland doesn't make his top
5 of wicked schools. We are a typical campus, he says. He is finished here,
but the folks at schools in Baltimore might keep an eye out for him in the
coming days. He also mentioned going to West Virginia and Delaware, so 
keep those eyes peeled!
	As I left, I told him that he was the subject of his own newsgroup
and that I was going to go post an item so that everyone would know where he
was. I was a bit surprised that he didn't say anything about the inherent
evils of computers; instead, he seemed to like the idea.
	Some of what I've described is old stuff to you old hands, but 
hopefully the un-initiated will enjoy it and get an idea of what an 
afternoon with Jed is like. Having read this newsgroup has given me a
new perspective of the guy, particularly the item here a few months ago
from someone who had read his book. Jed is no dummy, but he is scary.
----- 


>From: kpowell@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Kevin S Powell)
Date: 5 May 91 22:23:05 GMT
Organization: The Ohio State University

Last Friday, I went to see Brother Jed at the Oval.  He was in top form
ranting and raving about sin.  He later turned the program over to Brother
Paul, who talked about sheep.  I asked Paul if God could make a rock so big
that even *HE* couldn't lift it,  and Paul got flustered and stated that God
couldn't do the absurd.  I replied by saying that letting Jesus walk on water
seemed pretty absurd, and Paul immediately changed the subject.

By the way, I got Jed to autograph his picture on the front page of the
Lantern.  He asked my name, and I told him "Gnirut."  He asked me what that
ment, and I told him "it means I'm possessed by a demon.  The computer is
watching you."

Right. I pronounced it "knee root."  And man, did I get a strange look when I
told Jed what it meant...
-----


>From: mconte@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Marc Vincent Conte)
Date: 9 May 91 02:10:43 GMT

     A few weeks ago, Cindy was condemning people to the lake of
fire when she got on the subject of homosexuality, as they all
seem to do once an hour.  She said that she called homo-SEX-u-als
and not gay because she didn't know any happy queers.  So I stood
up with a smile on my face and proclaimed my happiness.  She then
talked about how a man shouldn't lie with another man the same
way he does with a woman (I'm paraphrasing here)  I told her
I certainly wouldn't do that--I'm gay, not bisexual.
     I don't think the crowd knew I was serious.
That's Ohio State for you. 
-----


>From: jverdega@cae.wisc.edu (Jeffrey Verdegan)
Date: 25 May 91 19:02:08 GMT

I don't know if this pissed him off so much as frustrated the bejeezus out of
him.  He was sermonizing (whoops, almost spelled that "semonizing") here at
UW-Madison, quoting the bible, twisting the hell out of the words, as usual.
His tirade for the day was Jews-are-going-to-hell-because-it-says-so-right-here.
Anyway, there was a Jewish girl there who was arguing with him, and right at 
the peak of the debate (God, she must have been waiting for this), she started
quoting the bible, both testaments, citing the verse and everything.  No 
matter what BJ said, she came up with a passage to refute it.  After only
about 2 minutes of this, apparently realizing he was getting nowhere, Jed turned
around a full 180 and started addressing people on the other side of the dais.
The girl of course recived copious applause for her handling of the situation.
-----



>From: ATKHB@ASUACAD.BITNET
Date: 16 May 91 21:58:36 GMT
Organization: Arizona State University

A friend of mine was teaching either an argumentation or rhetoric
course at Northeast Mo. State and wanted to take his class to see
Brother Jed preach on campus.  Brother Jed's outdoor show got
cancelled by a rain storm, so my friend invited him to speak to
his class indoors.  Apparently, Jed was calm and collected during
his preaching, and sounded no different than your "usual" pastor.
My friend spoke with him after his presentation, and Jed indicated
that he goes through all of his antics to get the attention of the
students and to get them thinking about Christ even for a moment.
Since Jed had a captive audience, he took a different approach. It
would be interesting to see what his style is like at his "headquarters"
church.
----



>From: oneil@zeus.unomaha.edu (Sharon L. O'Neil)
Date: 23 May 91 06:22:13 GMT

	At my university a woman exposed her breasts to him last fall, which
	he of course remembered the next spring semester.  She also demonstrated
	how to use a dental dam (a "lesbian condom").  This woman got a few
	other folks to join with her and they jumped up on the fountain next to
	Jed and started prosyletizing for homosexuality.  They did a few kisses
	and amazingly enough, the audience was very, very receptive to them,
	because they were really getting old Jed.
-----


>From: hoyme@SRC.Honeywell.COM (Ken Hoyme)
Date: 28 May 91 17:57:49 GMT

Reading this newsgroup has taken me to when I was in grad school at the
University of Minnesota over a decade ago.  Since the UofMN was late in
finishing Spring quarter (mid June) and far in the cold north, 'The
Destroyers' would make it the last stop of their annual tour - typically
right after Memorial Day.  Spring Fever and warm weather would typically
draw large crowds to the mall area in front of Northrup auditorium.  2-300
people would not be atypical.

Jed, Sister Cindy (pre-marriage to Jed) and Brother Max was the standard
contingent in those years (1979-83).  Loud audience participation in the
'Wide road to De-struc-tion' and 'Lake of FIE-YER' would frequently cause
classrooms to close their windows so some form of 'higher' education could
continue.  Lord knows, no such activity was happening on the mall...

One particular incident sticks in my mind to this day.  A rather
disturbing case of the influence of this kind of preaching.  As was
mentioned here before, The Destroyers would not pass the plate at the
college during the day, but were instead sponsored by a local 'Temple of
God' where they would appear nightly.  They passed the plate at the
evening event.  (I heard this second hand, since I didn't go to any of
these sessions).  

One hot day there was one student who was particularly interested in
asking serious theological questions.  They had an annoying habit of not
calling on someone once they asked one serious question.  Heaven forbid
that they actually have to debate someone who knows the bible.  This guy
was wearing shorts, but no shirt and was standing politely with his hand
raised for another question.  Sister Cindy refused to call on him again,
so he stood on his chair, yelled fair warning about what he would do if
not called on, and proceeded to drop his shorts inch-by-inch (the shorts
that is).  At the point he exposed himself, Sister Cindy turned around and
covered her eyes.  There was much hooting and howling by the crowd.

However, this guy was still wanting to ask questions so he and a group of
his friends went to the evening session at the local temple.  The next
day, this guy was up in front of the crowd, reading from the bible along
with The Destroyers.  No kidding....

I am pretty sure he wasn't a plant.  While I didn't know him, there were
other UofMN students in the crowd around me who did.  The story the guy
told from up front was about his conversion that previous night.  I found
this real spooky since, as a Christian, I was very disturbed at the
twisted version of the bible that they espoused.

I still think that serious questions by people well versed in what is
actually said in the bible (complete with context) is the best way to
battle this crew.  Violence against them (as suggested here by others)
only reduces you to a level *below* them.  They don't attempt physical
harm in their preaching.  (Emotional, yes.. but I don't know if US law has
recognized emotional self-defense as a legitimatez excuse for physical
assault -- you can always walk away and not listen.)  'Offensive'
spectacles (I use the term loosely since it is a term subject to much
interpretation) as suggested by others only gives them the ammo they need
to convince the folks at the temple sessions how much their donations are
needed.  (Although, they *are* great crowd pleasers.)  Unfortunately, they
have the podium at these events.  A good theological discussion is hard to
do when you are only allowed one question.  However, it at least points up
to the rest of the folks that their teachings are not just wrong from a
human/ethical ground, but are in fact a mis-representation of what is
contained in the bible they claim to hold so dear.
-----


>From: ASC105@psuvm.psu.edu
Subject: Hello from a disciple of Christ
Date: 10 Jun 91 23:31:48 GMT

Hello people. I can see that this newsgroup was made to mock a particular
Christian that you have seen preaching from campus to campus.  For me,
I've never seen this man, but I have heard him preach (on tape).
                                                             BIBLE REFERENCE:
I'm writing to you to tell you that the one that you         ----------------
are offending is not B. J. alone, but you are offending
God, the One who loves him as a dear son.
When you offend a servant of Christ, Jesus will take it
personally.                                                  Matthew 25:43-45
By making fun of him and hating him for what he preaches
you are in fact heaping great blessings upon him by
enlarging his heavenly reward.                               Matthew 5:10-12
I see that also some of you who post here have girlfriends.
Well, girlfriends don't love you as much as Jesus does,
because He died in your place so that you won't have to
receive punishment in hell.  Would your girlfriend die for
you? Probably not, because the love between a boyfriend and
a girlfriend is usually sex-attraction, not like genuine love.
A person with real love for you will  tell you that your sins will
cause you to go to hell and will show you the way out.
Jesus did this, and I see that BJ is doing the same.  Real
love is not flattery, and urges the person to tell the truth
EVEN THOUGH it may offend them. (You people definitely seem
offended by Jed's preaching)
Commit your life fully to Christ by making Him your master and
tell others and claim his free salvation for you. Only then will
you be saved from hell.  When Jesus is your Lord, I will see
you in heaven!

I love you all! (not sex-love)
-----

>From: turner@webb.psych.ufl.edu (Carl Turner)
Date: 5 Sep 91 14:07:45 GMT

I gather that Max is at Purdue right now, flailing away at heathens, commies,
perverts, etc. If you're just into Max for the entertainment value, it helps
to know his best routines.

By far, the best story is the one about how he took up preaching as career.
("Get a job, Max!")  Another great story deals with his firing at Indiana
St. and how he took the case to the Supreme Court (they refused to hear it).
To get him going, just ask, "Max, how did you get started as a preacher?"

Max's worst stories have to do with his "debunking" evolution.  Boooring.

The most inciteful routine is when he urges students to form vigilante groups
to kill suspected gays and lesbians in order to save society from AIDS.  I
am not making this up.  He calls these groups the "homo patrols."  I asked
him once if he had ever killed any gays, but he wouldn't give me an answer.
Brother Jim Gilles does the same "homo patrol" routine, but not with the
same maniacal intensity as Max. 
----


>From: lcs@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Another Sinner)
Date: 6 Sep 91 18:55:45 GMT

Yeah, Brother Max and Jim Gillis just hit Purdue.  Max is sort of the
house band here, and Jim shows up a couple times a year as a supporting
act.  

The neat thing about Jim is that he'll tell his story 'bout being saved
at a Van Halen concert in Evansville, Indiana back in 1980, during which if
you can answer one if his periodic questions, you win a free pamphlet 
telling his life story:  smoking dope in high school classes with his
sneak-a-toke pipe (what we call one-hitters in the 90's), having the baaaadest
car in town, the loudest stereo, etc.  Autographed, too.

A favorite routine of his goes:  "If you rock-n-roll freaks don't stop
taking drugs and fornicating, you'll end up dead like....Jimi..."

crowd:  "Hendrix!"
Jim: "....Jim..."
crowd: "Morrison!"
Jim:  ".....Janice..."
crowd:   "Joplin!"
Jim:  "But the sickest rock-n-roller of them all is......"

[The "correct" answer is Frank Zappa, who really slams religion, particularly
this kind of silliness in his book the Real Frank Zappa Book.]

If you answer that correctly, you win another autographed pamphlet.  Whee!
I heard him mention Zappa my freshman year, and so I was ready the next year
and got it right.  The pamphlet says "Repent, you Zappa-head!  --Bro Jim"
----

    

>From: turner@webb.psych.ufl.edu (Carl Turner)
Subject: Flashbacks from a long-time Jed-watcher
Date: 5 Nov 91 18:42:49 GMT

I was talking to my friend "Radical" Bill today; he's been around on the
college campus scene for longer than anyone (himself included) is able to
remember. One of his claims to fame is that he introduced Bro Jed to
Sister Cindy when she was working as a student reporter at UF. He also
provided "Rolling Stone" with background material when that rag did a story
on Jed a few years ago.

"Back in 1972 there was a guy named Holy Hubert who travelled around a lot,
preaching on campuses.  I saw him at the Republican National Convention in 
Miami.  He was giving people (the demonstrators) a hard time, and the Yippies
stripped him naked and tied him to ground.  The Yippies tickled him."

[Apparently the Yippies thought they could de-program Hubert if they could
make him laugh.]

"I saw Jed for the first time here in 1975.  Holy Hubert was with him, and 
he seemed to be Jed's inspiration.  Jed made a lot of comments about Hubert,
gave him credit for his (Jed's) getting started."

"I'm not real clear on this, but I think the CIA or FBI used to fund
campus preachers in the early 1970's to travel around to colleges.  Jed
might have got his start this way, but I'm not sure...."

[Jed doesn't admit to getting CIA money.  He does freely admit to getting
money from the South African government.]

I'm definitely looking forward to Jed's Florida visit Dec 1-13.
----


>From: whos@ddsw1.MCS.COM (Ben Feen)
Subject: The Ballad of Jed -- READ! READ!  DILUTE! OK!
Date: 11 Nov 91 02:18:30 GMT


The Ballad of Jed
by Ben Feen

(Sung to the tune of 'The Beverly Hillbillies'
Let me tell you all a story 'bout a man named Jed
He used to be a frat brat, the girls all gave him head.
But then Jed went to a rock n' roll show,
And the flash pots made him think that Jesus saved his soul.

God, that is... Jay Cee...

Next thing ya know, old Jed is fuckin' nuts.
Preachin' hate and lies, callin' women whores and sluts.
Says queers are damned cause he doesn't like their ways
But Jed just has a fear -- That he might be gay.

Queer, that is... HO-MO-SEX-SHU-AL...

Jed's got a wife, Sister Cindy is her name.
Says Jed saved her from a life thats full of shame.
One day when Jed fucked her on a leather chair
The Word of God struck her on her derriere.

Butt, that is... Right up the ass...

Jed thinks his crusade is saving all our souls.
But we don't care -- we're too busy smoking bowls
Cause we don't give a shit, we give in to the temp-TA-tion
To practice anal sex, and daily for-ni-CA-tion!

----


>From: cwt@reef.cis.ufl.edu (Carl Turner)
Date: 11 Dec 91 16:38:42 GMT

They're here for a one-week engagement.  I saw them yesterday for about an
hour.  Some highlights:

Brother Tom is terrible.  The guy's whole delivery is like a core dump...you
can't interrupt him, ask him questions, get any conversation going at all.  He
just does his bit and leaves.  

Cindy is a lot mellower than she used to be.  A few years ago she would 
physically grab and attempt to detain women she thought were dressed
improperly.  The did a funny spiel about belief in the "Condom gospel,"
the idea that a piece of latex on your penis can protect you from the AIDS,
"God's vengeance on sinners," or some such thing.  She even had a green
condom that she used as a prop.

Brother Jed really carried on.  He's gotten a lot stranger.  He hardly talks
about the bible anymore.  It's mainly just his odd ideas about society and
college and sex.  Most of the people in the crowd (> 100 when I was there)
just took him to be a joke.  He only got a rise out of the crowd when he
made fun of "Not-so-magic Johnson" contracting HIV.  Nice guy, huh?

-- 
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v  Carl Turner                            Psychology Department             v 
v  turner@webb.psych.ufl.edu   University of Florida, Gainesville FL 32611  v 
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Newsgroups: alt.brother-jed