From: fafat@aludra.usc.edu (Vijay Fafat)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: Re: Allegations against FFT and Vijay's posting on Weinberg 8-)
Date: 21 Jan 1993 22:54:29 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu

Poetaster Dighe [PBUH] writes:
>Ahem,
>Yes, The board of directors of SAMOSA have unanimously appointed
>FFT (note: We are talking about FFT and not his physics-touting
>mealy-mouthed twin brudder Fafat), as the Managing Director of SAMOSA.

SAW = South Asian Women
SAM = South Asian Men [unless otherwise specified]



	Dear Mr. Dighe, 
		I thank you for placing such faith in me. You yourself are
	a seasoned campaigner, having baited the Matron Chacko innumerable
	times in the past [and, if I may add, she exonerated herself most
	honourably inspite of your formidable bardy talents]. I'm pleased
	that such an able Feminazi-baiter as yourself is the CEO of 
	SAMOSA [South Asian Men Ogling Sawnet Activities [tm]]. Now, for the 
	benefit of others, I must point out that in the initial stages of 
	naming, some puritans, in the true Asthana tradition, *had* objected
	to the word "Ogling" for two reasons :

	1] Sawnet articles have nothing "oglable" about them :)
	2] SAW frown upon "juvenile" [copyright by vice-matron Uma] ogling.

	However, the charter of SAMOSA is pretty clear on these points :

	1] Live the image which the SAW have about desis/Men, which includes,
	   but is not restricted to :
		
		a] Drooling when you see an American "babe" who's skimpy dress
		   would make you wonder whether she was out trying to get in
		   or in trying to get out of that burden-of-a-dress.
		b] Being Boorish, uncultured, total muggoo, putting oil in
		   hair, holding onto Mamma's palloo.....
		c] Having massive egos, dating/trying-to-bed [failing, 
		   of course :)] anything evenly remotely female and frown 
		   with displeasure on seeing a Desi girl go around hand-in-
		   hand with a handsome Greek God.
		d] Posting on sci, esp. matrimonials, looking for brides, whose
		   descriptions would rule out Ingrid Bergman, Brooke Shields,
		   Samantha Fox :),... hey even Sridevi and Madhuri Dixit :)
		e] Thinking like, "there are girls we date.... and then there 
		   are girls we marry". I believe this is a major gripe on 
		   SAWNET.


	2] Saying atleast one line against SAW and SAWNET everyday. Each
	   member gets rated according to his performance on the AB [Ass-Burnt]
	   scale:

	   Pts.  Activity.

	   5	making MCP statements

	   10	indulging matrons and vice matrons in a flame war on sci

	   20	Castigating the non-participation on sci by SAWs.

	   25	saying Desi girls are not great looking [even though it's not
		true ]

	* This gets a high rating since the participant, in typical
	  "Certified Idiot" tradition, is ruining his chances of ever having
	  an email affair.

           35	get called sleazeball/toad by a SAW.

	* actually, this should'nt be getting such a high rating because it's
	  very easy to get a SAW, esp. desi, to call you a sleazebucket. All
	  you have to do is wink at her suggestively ;-) like so. However,
	  such a high score is necessary to soothe the battered/shattered
	  ego.

	  50	Saying something inflammatory like, " "good women" is an 
		oxymoron at best" and inciting all the hens... err.. SAW :)

	* Not many dare to do this since the wrath of the women scorned and
	  offended is too well know. peepuls should venture so high on the
	  Ass-Burnt scale on their own risk. The management cannot be held
	  responsible for any damage [of any kind]. However, one who can
	  survive such an effort will be awarded the Veer Chakra.

	  100	saying females are the dumbest creatures God made. [highly
		explosive]
		
	* Only a guy dumber than the females will venture so high on this
	  scale. Of course, he will receive Param Veer Chakra for such an
	  asinine effort [and since in the very first line here, I've done
	  it, Mr. Dighe, pliss to get one for me]
	
	* Extra credit would be given if you can bring in specific names,
	  say Uma Subramanian or Susan Chacko [never mind even if you know the
	  fact that they're very intelligent, extremely sharp, witty, what-have
	  you.... [heck, com'mon guys, I have to have flame-insurance against 
	  these ladies, no? :):). And what better premium than a lot of
	  Amul? I've heard females can't handle flattery :)]


	
	Let this two-point program be the Bible of all SAMOSAites, who,
	incidentally, would be called SAM [their male offsprings, obviously,
	being Samsons]

	Talking about this, I must alert all the SAMOSAites. The SAWhens are
	apparently clucking madly over this intrusion into their net by
	scruple-less,scrupuless moles. Last heard, they were polishing their
	SAM missiles - Snub All Men, after their   Desis_Are_Sleazebuckets
	bomb did'nt exactly rise above whimper level on the Richter scale.
	So we must be prepared and also guard against malemoles [Mullahs?].
	You, Dighe Sir, have already infringed on one count by leaking the
	sensitive news about the fatwa on the Windsor feminazi which our
	hob-nailed shoes-wearing, overcoat-cloaked-hat-tilted-on-forehead-
	goggles-on-druggy-eyes-cigar-between-lips  lieutenants [Khome-nissans]
	were discussing. Please beware about the severe punishments such
	treason with SAMOSA has.Let everyone Quale on hearing the dismemberment
	punishment [and for the dim SAM {Dim Sum Lien? :)}, "dismemberment"
	DOES NOT mean no longer being a member of SAMOSA]


>We have full faith that he shall maintain that delicious
>razor-edge balance that keeps the SAWNET/SAMOSA community humming
>with an incisive series of fine mouth-watering CHUTNIES 
>[CHUTNIES= Creating Utterly Trashy News Items Enraging SAWNETTERS ]



	Talking about CHUTNIES, I must introduce the SAM jargon here. There
	are mainly 2 kinds :

	1] Foaming-with-rage-Woman kind : also known as I-M-MAD-Chutnie.
	2] Typical-woman kind : also known as GREEN or ENVY chutnie.

	this, of course, has dialects, as CEO Dighe points out:


>PATNI CHUTNIE which may sound alarmist but has nothing to do
>with Battered Wives (that comes under the chapter on Bhajis),
>just a series of recipes aimed at enraging housewives by single SAWNETTERS.
>
>GREEN CHUTNIES which is aimed at stirring the green-eyed SAWNET monsters.
>
>IMLI (I'M Loved for my Idlis)  CHUTNIES aimed at getting an heated
>discussion started on saaru versus sambar on SAWNET.
>
>IDLI (I'D  Love some Idlis) CHUTNIES aimed at stirring single
>SAWNETTERS who cant cook.
>
>COCONUT CHUTNIES aimed at all those SAWNETTERS who are white
>inside and brown outside..
>
>DRY CHUTNIES for the prohibition-minded.

>
>
>
>>	Never. I
>>	continue peeping :) but hey, what lust? The sawnet postings would
>>	rather make a good substitute for pills [the sleeping variety ;-)]
>>	Due apologies and standard disclaimers, of course, to the Matron
>>	and Vice-matron :)
>
>Err, didnt know there were any vice on SAWNET..
>What say, MD, do we need a VIce SQuad from SAMOSA ?
>VISQ-SAMOSA- sounds like my favourite -Whiskey and Samosa..


	O yes, Sawnet does have a vice-matron who's soon going to take over
	as matron. 
	Yea, you would be a great Vice-MD/CEO. And if you want a good
	partner/associate, rope in Seetamraju Uday Bhaskar Sarma. He has
	a great knack for inciting females. With so many Sonia sightings
	to his credit [he once found her with him in the shower. Now, I wonder
	why men have this fixation with showers and women with tubs...],
	he should be an ideal baiter. And his innovativeness is amazing. He is
	rumoured to have told a prof. in his college days that since

		LED = Light emitting diode, hence

		FET = Fire emitting triode.

	He should do well in your company.



	well, that was a littil intro to SAMOSA. For enrollment, you have to
	sent the choicest abuses to the CEO, in this case Mr. Dighe, on
	email. Try your worst. And if Mr. Dighe gets suitably angry, why, 
	welcome to SAMOSA, the wonderland where you get the latest on
	SAWNET, even things gurlses don't write on it! :^).

	FFT

	[MD, SAMOSA (tm)]