From: jose@csd.uwo.ca (Jose Thekkumthala)
Subject: --The Psychology of a Net-Writer; Part IV-- by Jose
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Western Ontario, London
Distribution: alt.culture.kerala
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 21:12:49 GMT


   +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   +                                           +         
   +   THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A NET-WRITER          +         
   +                                           +
   +             PART IV                       + 
   +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   


I suddenly found a solution to my problem. I suddenly knew how I can
resolve this problem of 0.7 person. At least I knew how I can replace
this fractional person by a whole-person; well, sort of a whole-person.
In my mind's eye, I saw a scheme to recruit a reader to ack. Imagine
that! One more reader to ack! This, of course would mean that King 
James Version of the Biblical Ramayanam would have to be rewritten.

The computer room I usually work in has a loud majority of Chinese 
(hereinafter to be referred as 'C') students and a silent minority of 
a Malayalee -- that is me. Loud majority, because C students log on to
all the nineteen terminals leaving the rest, i.e., one to me and this
terminal is known as the Malayalee terminal. Loud majority, also because
they always sing loudly to each other(At least that is what I think 
they do, whenever they talk to each other) in a harmonious fashion.
Their loud majority is such that the abbreviation 'csd' no more
stands for computer science department, but for chinese students 
department.

I sometimes feel that the ancient India-China war sometimes gets 
re-enacted in this Department, looking at the competitive way in 
which things go between the two groups here. I was quite jealous 
when I came to know that they have a scheme by which every C student
gets his or her Computer Science assignment done in a co-operative
fashion. Every one of them gets the assignment done in time when I
would be sitting here in this terminal room staring at my sunmistress 
in the middle of the night. I spent so many nights with my sunmistress
in this room. However hard I tried to burn the mid-night
oil, I was always behind in submitting my assignments. And they would
not lend a helping hand! Whenever I tried to look at their sunmistresses
to get a sneak preview of the assignment answer, they would jealously
guard her by either covering her up with another window or simply 
logging off.

This silent war has been going on ever since I came here. One day
I decided to take some action. You see, all of them had earlier got 
together and modified their .mailrc file so that they would all be getting
a beep sound whenever they get an e-mail message. I was the only
one who would be sitting with my sunmistress completely unaware of
a message waiting for me to read. I could not have been more humiliated!
Suddenly, I went to the grocery-store owner down the block, brought 
him to our computer room and with his help I modified my .mailrc 
file so that from then on, I started getting two beeps whenever 
an e-mail message came searching for me. Not one, but two! I was 
ahead of them by one!

I was smiling at long last! Here I was relishing my hard-won 
freedom-fight with the ancient empire. I remember that day as if 
it was yesterday. I got an e-mail message from the Late Emperor Hirohito
of Ethiopia and suddenly my sun-mistress beeped twice. All those 
eyes around me (nineteen pairs of them)looked at me in wonderment; they
could not believe what they heard. They started singing to each other
and chanting religiously. Obviously they were discussing the higher 
score won by Kerala in the war with the Ming dynasty. 

That is what I guessed as to what they were discussing, for I do not 
know C language(stands for Chinese Language). The only sentence I 
know in C is 'nee hau ma'(stands for 'how are you' in Mandarin,
'how the hell are you' in Cantonese and 'Get out of my Computer
room' in Czechuan). 

Guys, do you realize the significance of this victory? I was sitting
in the battlefield overjoyed and elated, venerated by these bi-beeps
that came one after another whereas my C-friend would be sitting there
amidst the lonely, unhappy mono-beep of their sunmistress. I got
them hands down. No experience could have been more humbling for them.

There was a look of absolute disbelief on everyone's face. None
of them talked to me that day. But I celebrated the day's success
by reading the teachings of Lord Buddha. However, in the back of 
my mind I knew that I was dealing with a formidable enemy and I could
not help thinking that there would be retaliation. I knew they were
upto something because they convened an emergency secret meeting 
that very evening.

My worst fears materialized the very next day! Here I was sitting
by the side of my sunmistress flanked by my bi-beeps that came
incessantly. Suddenly, from the corner of the room there came 
a loud and clear tri-beep! Was I imagining? Could this be true?
No, it couldn't! I hoped that I heard it wrong. I hoped it was
three beeps that came in rapid succession from three C-terminals.
I waited. Then there was another tri-beep! Then another and another
and another. There was no mistaking the fact this time. It was 
a tri-beep after all. They had won the war. There was hushed-up
singing; some of them were struggling to control their laughter.
I looked at my mistress in utter desolation. She was my only
friend in the room.

I ran to the grocery store, got its owner promptly and modified
my .mailrc and got four beeps this time. They outdid me by one more
next day. This war is still going on. Right at this moment when
I am writing, they are ahead of me by one beep.

When the technology gets advanced in the future, I plan to go to 
my grocery friend and together instal a new .mailrc so that 
every time I get an e-mail, my mistress will shout 'nee hau ma' 
in Czechuan. That should teach them a lesson. I can hardly wait 
for that day of advanced technology.  

I later on recruited one C-friend to become an avid ack reader,
thereby replacing the 0.7 person referred to in the King James
version of Biblical Ramayanam. So, the average number of people
who read the ack articles is gone from 23.7 to 23.9 as of this
moment. An increase of 0.2 person is not bad; it is better than a 
kick in the butt, to use the language of an ancient C proverb.

 
                    ----- TO BE CONTINUED ----- 

============================================================================
       From My Ivory Tower in the Basement,

	 jose                                          email: jose@csd.uwo.ca
                                                    Dept. of Computer Science
                                                    Univ. of Western Ontario
                                                    CANADA
============================================================================