Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Her mother wants to kill me
From: Gregory L. Woods, Jr. <GWOODS@NDSUVM1.BITNET>
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 12:25:58 CST
Organization: North Dakota Higher Education Computer Network

In article <1993Jan9.044341.29342@zip.eecs.umich.edu>,
sitar@oosik.sprl.umich.edu (Robert J. Sitar) says:
>
>Well, Greg, at this point your guess is better than mine.  I do have a few
>questions, though.

    I thought people might have some questions so here are the answers.

>
>1. Have you asked Angela's mom why she dislikes you so much (hate is such
>a strong word)?  That would be the first thing to do.  Also, ask for
>specific examples. (e.g. destroying her family....HOW?)

       I am afraid to ask her mom why she hates me. I have tried a few
 times to, but to no avail. She says I am destroying her family
 because I have come into Angela's life and changed her. She
 spends less time with her family now.
>
>2. Has Angela's relationship with here mother changed since you started
>dating her?

    Yes it has changed since I started dating Angela. She now spends
much less time with her mother. Their relationship has also gotten
more tense.
>
>3. Is there anything in your past(or present) which might bother her
>mother to the point that she wouldn't want you to date Angela?

      The only thing in my past that would say anything along those
lines is that I was abused as a child and Angela knows that I am
in counseling for that. Angela has told me on a number of times
that her mom constantly tells her about statistics that say
those who are abused as a child are more likely to abuse
when they get older and have a family of thier own. Angela has
told me that she knows it isn't the case for me.(I do a lot of
volunteer work and would never think of ever harming another
person or child, especially ones I am helping).
>
>4. What about Angela's father?  How does he treat you?

      He doesn't say much, the mom does most of the talking.
See Angela's mom had her when she was in high school, her dad(the
only one she has ever known) came along 2 years later. Her dad has
violated Angela's trust many times in her teen years. I have suggested
Angela go into counseling for this to no avail because she is
afraid what others will think.
>
>5. What might have triggered the downward slide of your relationship with
>her mother?

     Your guess is a good as mine, but as I do think her mom
is afraid of Angela going away. She doesn't want to lose Angela. I
know once she looked me in the eye and said "You are trying to
 tear angela and I apart, but it will never work, we are as clsoe
as a mother and daughter can be. I made myself a promise
when I had Angela that noone would ever come between us" Those words
do lead me to the conclusion that she doesn't want to let go.
>
>6. Has Angela changed since you started dating?

      Yes she has changed, I think for the better, except for the
last week, she has been much happier with life.
>
>You obviously did something to tick off her mother.  Maybe after you are
>able to talk to Angela after the break, she can clear some things up as
>well.  I'm willing to bet that they've had LONG converstations about you
>and your relationship with Angela.  Other than that, I can only wish you
>luck.  I've been in a similar situation, and I know that it's rough.  Just
>hang in there, and try to work it out.

     Yes I do know I will hang in here. I have put too much in
 this relationship to give up. I know giving up would be the
  easy thing, but easy things have never been easy for me.

>
>bob
Greg
Newsgroups: soc.singles