From: pentangl@spdcc.com (Scott Moir)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Some fears and doubts about my sexuality
Date: 29 Sep 92 02:35:04 GMT
Organization: S.P. Dyer Computer Consulting, Cambridge MA

In article <6245@m1.cs.man.ac.uk> zzaascd@hpa.ee.man.ac.uk (Colin Dente) writes:
>In article <xdzqbdzp@cck.coventry.ac.uk> idx009@cck.coventry.ac.uk
>(the Crisco Kid) writes:
>> In article <1992Sep24.002312.3553@spdcc.com> pentangl@spdcc.com (Scott Moir) writes:
>
>> >The gay culture (Gad, I hate the implications of that) was only so
>> >obvious because it ran counter to mauch in the way of expected gender roles.
>> >We do the same, but by being 'in the middle' we are bringing in aspects of
>> >both het and gay culture.
>>
>> I'm not sure it's quite so simple.  I don't think we simply 'middle'
>> between the het cultureplex and the gay one - at least, it hasn't felt
>> that way for me.
>
>I quite agree - take the issue of polyfidelity as an example: (gross
>generalisation alert) both het and gay cultures seem to be organised
>(in this specific area) around ideas of either monogamy or (please
>don't read any negative connotations into my use of the word)
>promiscuity.  The notion of polyfidelity, whilst (IMHO) quite well
>accepted in bisexual circles seems quite alien to monosexual culture.

Okay, so we don't 'middle'. Poor choice of words on my part. What we
DO bring is perspectives on both het and gay worlds. Monogamy plays a
big part of it, but I doubt that the negative reactions many of us get
is not because we sleep with more than one person, but because we sleep
with BOTH kinds. If you really look at it, does it really have anything
do with polyfidelity? Would Mr or Mrs Normal still be bothered by you 
if you were -only- sleeping with someone of the same gender as yourself? 

We do bring in views from both sides. There is something that a straight
or gay person can see in us that they identify with. There are things
in both of thier worlds that we see and can understand.

I never intended to say that our culture was 'middle' between the extremes,
but rather a blending of the two. Diversity is what makes it so important
to us that we accept people for who and what they are. If there is a common
thread to 'us' as bisexuals, it seems to be that. I still assert that I hope
there is never a bi culture of our own, separate from the other cultures.

>Do those of us
>who are out enough to attend the conference really know what it's like
>for the vast majority of bisexuals, many older, perhaps in marriages
>with (non-understanding) straight partners... 

I used to have to hide. I remember what it was like.

>  I think we need to start with *throwing away* both het and
>gay (sexual) culture: we have a chance to do it right, which, in a
>way, means not doing it at all...

I could not disagree with you more. By suggesting throwing away het
and gay sexual culture, you are saying that we are right, and they are
misguided. Sorry, that IS what you are implying. My way of life is
not for everyone, and each person must follow that path that fits THEM.

"Doing it right"? Is that what you really meant to say? 


>Colin

Scott


-- 
Scott Moir / Pentangle / Satyr ______ # "There's really only one requirement 
pentangl@Ursa-Major.spdcc.com  \ \/ / #  for a Prophet, and you've got it."
B4 f t+ w g k+(+) s+ m r p+     \/\/  # "What's that?"
These are my opinions, not SPDCC's    # "A mouth." - 'God' to J.R.'BoB' Dobbs
Newsgroups: soc.bi