From: hhenderson@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: Politically Correct McGonagall
Organization: Clark University
Date: 31 DEC 92 21:05:46 GMT

Jim Kasprzak inquired about McGonagall-in-print.  McGonagall's
poems appeared first in _Poetic Gems_, and then, as I understand
it, more of his poems were discovered after his death, and
published as (what else?) _More Poetic Gems_, which I think is out
of print. (If someone out there knows how to get a copy of that
one, please send me a note!)  _Poetic Gems_ is still in print,
available from Gerald Duckworth & Co. Ltd. (address: The Old Piano
Factory, 43 Gloucester Crescent, London NW1) for the cheap-thrill
price of 4.95 (pounds).  I suppose I'm flagrantly violating their
copyright by distributing McGonagall in this fashion, but it's as
good a reason as any other to go to jail.

I just discovered this delightful bit of politically-correct
McGonagall:


     _Women's Suffrage_

     Fellow men!  why should the lords try to despise
     And prohibit women from having the benefit of the      
       parliamentary Franchise?
     When they pay the same taxes as you and me,
     I consider they ought to have the same liberty.

     And I consider if they are not allowed the same liberty,
     From taxation every one of them should be set free;
     And if they are not, it is really very unfair,
     And an act of injustice I most solemnly declare.

     Women farmers have no protection as the law now stands,
     And many of them have lost their property and lands,
     And have been turned out of their beautiful farms
     By the unjust laws of the land and the sheriff's alarms.

     And in my opinion, such treatment is very cruel;
     And fair play, 'tis said, is a precious jewel;
     But such treatment causes women to fret and to dote,
     Because they are deprived of the parliamentary Franchise vote.

     In my opinion, what a man pays for he certainly should get;
     And if he does not, he will certainly fret;
     And why wouldn't women do the very same?
     Therefore, to demand the parliamentary Franchise they are not
       to blame.

     Therefore let them gather, and demand the parliamentary     
       Franchise;
     And I'm sure no reasonable man will their actions despise,
     For trying to obtain the privileges most unjustly withheld   
       from them;
     Which Mr. Gladstone will certainly encourage and never      
       condemn.

     And as for the working women, many are driven to the point of
       starvation,
     All through the tendency of the legislation;
     Besides, upon members of parliament they have no claim
     As a deputation, which is a very great shame.

     Yes, the Home Secretary of the present day,
     Against working women's deputations, has always said -- nay;
     Because they haven't got the parliamentary Franchise,
     That is the reason why he does them despise.

     And that, in my opinion, is really very unjust;
     But the time is not far distant, I most earnestly trust,
     When women will have a parliamentary vote,
     And many of them, I hope, will wear a better petticoat.

     And I hope that God will aid them in this enterprise,
     And enable them to obtain the parliamentary Franchise;
     And rally together, and make a bold stand,
     And demand the parliamentary Franchise throughout Scotland.

     And do not rest day or night --
     Because your demands are only right
     In the eyes of reasonable men, and God's eyesight;
     And Heaven, I'm sure, will defend the right.

     Therefore go on brave women!  and never fear,
     Although your case may seem dark and drear,
     And put your trust in God, for He is strong;
     And ye will gain the parliamentary Franchise before very long.


The story goes that McGonagall walked to Balmoral, seeking an
audience with Queen Victoria; he wanted to ask her to make him Poet
Laureate.  He was chased away from the gates by the guards.  I
don't know if this poem was written before or after this adventure,
but it's possible that the Queen was incensed by McGonagall's
support of women's suffrage, and hence wanted nothing to do with
him.  Of course, there may have been other reasons.

Heather
HHENDERSON@vax.clarku.edu
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books