From: jcarroll@bach.udel.edu (James Carroll)
Subject: Re: Lifestyle (was Re: Coming out to family)
Organization: University of Delaware Alumni
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 00:41:16 GMT

In article <C0ppF4.GHA@newcastle.ac.uk> J.W.Harley@newcastle.ac.uk (Jon Harley) writes:
>bbooth@x400gate.bnr.ca (Brad Booth) writes:
>>
>>>J.W.Harley@newcastle.ac.uk (Jon Harley) writes:
>>> both sexes. In other words, that is a chosen way of living.
>>
>>I think that lifestyle is defined by the way you choose to live your
>>life. 
>
>That's exactly what I said.
>
>>  If you like purchasing lots of material goods, you live a sort
>>of "yuppie" lifestyle.  If you enjoy participating in sports, you live
>>an active lifestyle.  If you prefer to be in the company of gays, you
>>might consider that you live a queer lifestyle.
>
>I doubt anyone who didn't actually have sex with MOTSS would *want* to claim that
>they lived a queer lifestyle, at least in my understanding of the term.
>

I have not (yet, *grin*) had sex with an motss, but feel that (in some
respects) I live a "queer lifestyle".

>>  Your sexuality can be
>>a very seperate part of the lifestyle you choose to live.  And, some
>>friends may describe your lifestyle one way, while others describe it
>>another way.
>
>How *you* describe your own lifestyle is the only description that counts, surely.
>

Definitely.

>>Your sexuality is a seperate matter.  I like the Webster's def'n for
>>sexuality:
>>	"expression of sexual receptivity or interest"
>>Bi's, queers and straights all exhibit this.  We're all sexual
>>creatures.  We also all choose to life our lives in very different,
>>but sometime similar, ways.
>
>I disagree. Closeted queers (including bis) may be too afraid to _express_ any sexual
>interest they may have in MOTSS, for instance. If this is the case then they are not
>choosing to live a queer lifestyle. Yet if they do have the sexual interest, that is
>part of their sexuality, and it is unlikely to be chosen.

I disagree with you.  I am not out to my roommate, therefore I do not
express any motss interests I have when he is around.  (Which is really
hard when watching Melrose Place! :-) )  Yet, I openly read issues of The
Advocate and 10 Percent in the apartment; he knows I'm in Queer Campus,
and knew of my involvement with No on 9 and my efforts here in Delaware to
educate others about M9.  I occasionally talk to him about LGB issues. 
Hence, in many ways, I have a "queer lifestyle" around him, without
expressing my attraction to motss.  Thus, I choose to live somewhat of a
queer lifestyle without being out.  

But I will agree that sexual interest is part of sexuality and neither are
chosen.

>
>One of the definitions of sexuality in one of my dictionaries suggests simply "sexual
>impulses", which seems to me a better definition.
>
>My point was that lifestyle is chosen, sexuality may not be.

Agreed.  (I feel that sexuality, for whatever reason(s), is not chosen.)

>
>
>/jon
>   ___________________ ____ ________________________________________
>  / -- Jonathan Harley \  /_    And they covered up the sun        //    //  //
> / J.W.Harley@ncl.ac.uk \/ /   until the birds had flown away...  // // //////
>/_Phone:UK 091 222 8504__\/___________________________________///////////  //

-James

-- 
I don't mind if I never, ever meet you		   | 			____
I love you just the way you seem		   | jcarroll@		\bi/
I don't mind all the things they say about you	   |  brahms.udel.edu	 \/
Jealous words won't spoil this dream - Jesus Jones |__________________________
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