From: glen@pandora.sdsu.edu (Glen)
Subject: RAIN, Part 2
Summary: rain
Keywords: rain
Organization: San Diego State University, College of Sciences
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 16:43:41 GMT


Only in the night was there peace.  The day went by
  blindly, as they all had... just another day in the
  long wait.  His mind had filled with unimportances...
  but his spirit remained empty.  The rain had stopped,
  but the cool winds continued, and, alone again,
  slowly, his mind was able to clear again.

There had been a crossing in the road that day.  Not
  *her* - not the one, true, but one, a might-have-been,
  a kindred life.  In the darkness he can see - can *feel*
  the possibilities - see that alternate time in which,
  maybe, this one had been her.  But this one, as had
  the others, began to vanish almost as soon as she had
  come.  Still, there always were... possibilities...

Through the darkness, a memory of light... the first time
  he had discovered a kindred spirit - a life that could
  be close enough to his to share their spirits with no
  thought of balances, or debts.  On the shores of what
  was the only land which still held *magic* she had come
  to him a friend, and left... left a mark on his life that
  would remain with him for time and eternity.  "Jannie,"
  she called herself, he remembers.  How easy it would be
  now, he knows, to find her - to have found her, again,
  if only he knew something else... a last name?  a number?

He knew why he did not know.  Young, uncaring, suddenly
  his spirit had been touched in the most unassuming, open
  way possible - but, unknowing and unfamiliar, he couldn't
  understand why she couldn't stay - didn't realise that she
  had to leave, even though she wanted to stay.  On the day
  she left, he avoided her; rather than asking for that one 
  thing she so wanted to give him: a hope for the future, he 
  instead hid, following her unseen, feeling only the pain
  of the loss that he unknowingly brought upon himself.

Now, alone again, he sees all those that have passed through
  his life - many truly leaving their footprints on his soul,
  and knew that, though he had lost many, he had gained
  more by knowing those who brought light into his life than
  any of his friends ever would.  But at a cost?

He thinks of several of his friends here.  Alone, and afraid,
  they are unable to reach out at all - unwilling to take the
  one small step that might bring to them all that he knew.  A
  spirit kindred to theirs might be at their doorsteps, yet, he
  knew that, afraid to say "goodbye," they would never open
  the door - never say the "hello," that has more power to
  change lives than anything else in the universe.

Instead, in their shells, they think they are protected.  In
  reality, they are trapped.  They think no one can get in -
  but the truth is that they cannot get out.  In their private
  circle, there is no sadness, but there is no happiness.  
  There is only... existence.  "In every trust," they say,
  "there is the opportunity for betrayal."  And that, he
  reflects, is the difference.  That is the thing he knows
  that they do not.

In every trust, there is the possibility of betrayal.  But
  without trust, there is the possbility of nothing.

And as he realised these things, the knowledge came to him,
  sure as the column of smoke in the night, that there *was*
  someone out there, waiting for him even as he waited for
  her; but, not yet able to find him, any more than he was
  able to find her.  But he knew, as the last memory of the day
  dissolved quietly into the night, that he would be ready.  He
  knew what he needed to know.

There can be no love, without trust.  Yet, he still did not know
  where to go.

To be continued...
Newsgroups: alt.romance