HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: anon-1159@twwells.com (Kristian)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: It's a symphony, folks
Date: 13 Oct 92 22:43:32 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Wow, I  seem  to  have  underestimated  the  talent around when I
suggested a combo  or  Chamber  music:    there's  enough  for  a
symphony I am sure.    It's great to hear of people with creative
outlets like that.  Those  were the types of things which kept me
sane before I started to "come to terms" etc.  and it is grand to
know that some have other things in common besides abuse:  music,
martial arts, film going, writing.

"Kristian"



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From: anonymus+703@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Thanks for a warm welcome/therapy
Date: 7 Oct 92 17:38:32 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service

I want to publicly post a thank you for all those who responded
to my first posting.  It was good to hear from you, and I found
a surprising amount of support.  I guess I kind of wasn't expecting
this from a place where nobody had even known of my existence
before my first post.
I said in that post that I was starting therapy today.  It was
difficult for me; despite the fact that I trust my therapist
and feel safe with her, just discussing the issues makes me
space out.  I felt like I was hovering about six inches
to the right of my body the whole time I was there (which, by
the way, is not at all an unusual feeling for me).  Naturally,
only at the end of the session did I really start feeling anything.
I asked my therapist where she was coming from as far as
incest goes, and she talked about her experience and
training in ISA issues; she also talked about the fact that
it makes her angry that so many people have had to deal with
sex abuse.  That made me start thinking about somebody I know;
the younger brother of a friend of mine, who was molested
by his mother's boyfriend.  He's been diagnosed as psychotic
now, trapped in a terror he can't name.  And I remember him
as a young, innocent boy (a bit of a spaz, but happy), and
I see him as he is now.  It makes me want to cry and scream;
how could that bastard *do* that to him?  As you may notice,
it's easier for me to get angry about someone else's
stuff than about mine!  I hope I never meet that perp
if I have a gun or a heavy object!!  And it makes me even
madder because I met that man once, and I had a creepy feeling
about him.  Then when I found out about my friend's
brother, I felt like I should have known.  I wish I had
been able to help, even though I know there's no way I
could have, in reality.  A creepy feeling about someone
is not grounds for a call to the child protective services.
But still, there's a lot of survivor guilt, too; I didn't
go psychotic (or whatever they've diagnosed him with now,
up at the Institutuon where his mother put him) and he did!  Ouch!!!
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From: anon-1280@twwells.com (Ode)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: --none given--
Date: 14 Oct 92 04:12:09 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

anonymus+1401@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (darkangel) writes:

>Thanks to everyone who answered my previous posts..I have to say I'm surprised
>at the responses and support from people who don't even know me...

YES! That's exactly how I feel, as if I walked into a room full of
supportive friends.

*Hugs* to you and everyone else (who wants them)

 -vickie-



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From: anon-1159@twwells.com (Kristian)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Will it be a combo or chamber music?
Date: 10 Oct 92 05:33:00 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes


                 :=)  :=)   :=0 :-0   :-|====<
    Why don't  we form a combo or a chamber music ensemble?  With
    Robert Ankeney who is taking piano lessons and Mike Stoughton
    who  has  his  trumpet  instruction   book  out,  I  can  add
    a self-taught recorder consort and some  vocals, and I know a
    *real*  contralto  who posts to ASAR.   What  could  we  call
    ourselves?
    
                    !! !!! !! !!! !! !!! !! !!!
                    |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
                                                        
    "Kristian"



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anonymus+565@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Subject: Thanks to the Clean Shaven Guys
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 04:28:18 GMT

So now you clean cut guys know  I  have a sense of humour as well
as a compulsion :-)

SERIOUSLY, I want  to thank all who responded to my post for your
ideas as well as  your  reading  suggestions,  which  I AM taking
seriously and doing something about.    I  also  feel a whole lot
better  just  for  having  asked.      Why   do  things  seem  so
earth-shattering and shameful in anticipation?  You guys  made  a
world of difference for my self-esteem by not putting me down and
suggesting some ways I could start to get a handle (:-} oops!) on
this situation.

Special  thanks  to  cloister  bell (I bet there's a story behind
that  name,  but  I haven't been reading ASAR long enough to find
it)  who  recommended  the  FAQ  and  another  reading  and  Mike
Stoughton  who recommended Charles Whitmann's HEALING  THE  CHILD
WITHIN. 
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From: stote@tomcat.den.mmc.com (M. Stote)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: It's a symphony, folks
Date: 15 Oct 92 17:15:15 GMT
Organization: Martin Marietta Astronautics Group

Yeah I really thought it was cool too.  I kept the original post around trying
to think up a snazy name, but it expired before my brain kicked into gear.
Actually work has been really intense lately.  The 'Great Peace Dividend"
is hitting rather close to home - 45 people from my florr of the building I
am working in are expecting 2 week notices any day now :(.

So if I don't appear much lately its cause there's some powerful external
things I'm occupied with.  I'll keep reading when I can and will be happy to
correspond with anyone who wants to by email.

--
Fare Well

Mike Stoughton
stote@den.mmc.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: --none given--
From: anonymus+1401@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (darkangel)
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 17:01:31 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service

Thanks to everyone who answered my previous posts..I have to say I'm surprised
at the responses and support from people who don't even know me...


:)

darkangel
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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: warton@ssd.intel.com (Peter Warton)
Subject: Re: Memories Invalidated??? Re: Child
Organization: Supercomputer Systems Division (SSD), Intel
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 18:10:10 GMT

In article <BvzxF6.n2L@twwells.com> anon-1280@twwells.com (Ode) writes:
>
>
>Still, my life-long depressions aren't a figment of my imagination,
>something's going on and I have to find out what. That's why I 
>decided to write here again. 
>
>What should I do?
>
> -vickie-
>

To me this says it all.  Be gentle with yourself, trust *your* feelings.
No one else can possibly know what your life has been like.  I always
stay with any memories I have, whether or not I believe I made them up.
In time it is always resolved.

Hugs if you need them...
-- 
_____________________________________________________________________________
Peter Warton  (the h was dropped    | Against my better judgement (not to
over 800 years ago) 		    | mention the advice of my friends) I
warton@ssd.intel.com		    | speak for myself.
From: anonasar@khijol.UUCP (Anonymous poster for alt.sexual.abuse.recovery)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Thought for the day for Oct 14
Date: 15 Oct 92 03:36:44 GMT

X-ANON-Version: 0.5

          You rarely get offended and  hurt  when  someone  disagrees
          with  the  things  you are sure about.  The areas where you
          are not certain, where you  feel  insecure  are  those  you
          often feel the most need to defend.

          Do not think that  to  be  loved  you  must  have  all  the
          answers,  that  you  must never be afraid or look weak, for
          those of you who are willing to  be  vulnerable  will  find
          more love coming to you.

                                -- Sanaya Roman,
                                  "Personal Power Through Awareness"


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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery,alt.sex.bondage,alt.personals,alt.personals.ads,alt.personals.bondage,alt.personals.poly,alt.polyamory
From: denebeim@brtph254.bnr.ca (Jay Denebeim P025)
Subject: Re: Important ACS update (godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research
Date: Wed, 07 Oct 1992 21:52:37 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.012938.28732@wam.umd.edu> nuke@wam.umd.edu (root) writes:
>In article blaze@westmark.Stanford.EDU (Suki) writes:
>>	>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Suki<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>>		    blaze@westmark.stanford.edu  or
>>		 anonymus+284@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu.
>
>Out of curiosity... why have an anonymous address, if you publicly post
>what that address is?  I assume I'm missing something, here...

Took me a couple of seconds to figure this one out too.  Its so you
can send unsolicited e-mail to him.  There's no way to send anonomous
mail to someone that doesn't have an account on the server.


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From: anon-1218@twwells.com (Anika)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Thanks a lot
Date: 15 Oct 92 19:13:11 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes



Crystal Bell-


I didn't see your post either. I doubt that any of us have intentionally
ignored you. If you need our help it's better to post and ask for it as
opposed to saying good bye and expecting us to stop you. We *want* you here
because we want you to get better, but the decisions are all yours. If you
want to talk on a more personal level, I'm receiving mail, and I'd really like
to know how you are and why you're so upset. Please write.

Take care of yourself, Crystal Bell.

							Anika



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: um, so much for mourning...
From: emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp)
Date: 7 Oct 92 20:08:51 -0600

In article <9210052105.AA29273@saturn.upl.com>  writes:
>X-ANON-Version: 0.5
>
>In article <1992Oct2.143150.13505@netcom.com> enigma@netcom.com (Enigma) writes:
>: In article <1992Oct2.005157.22317@spdcc.com> dyer@spdcc.com (Steve Dyer) writes:
>: >Maybe I'm missing something, but I have to admit that I am stunned and
>: >baffled by the almost complete silence to the news of Karla's death
>: >other than a one day period of comments of the type "we'll miss you,
>: >Karla--e-hugs wherever you happen to be now".  I mean, it's not as if
>: >she moved out of state.  Saying nothing isn't enough.
>: 
>: 
>: Well, what do you suggest we say, Steve?  Perhaps you could give us
>: lessons.  I'm sorry, but even posting that one-liner was hard for me.
>: I'm convinced that no matter what I say, it will be the wrong thing,
>: and will really hurt anyone who cared about Karla, and that everyone
>: will hate me forever.  This is *not* a rational fear, it's programming
>: from my earliest childhood.  Most of us have been brainwashed into
>: thinking that it's not okay to talk about anything "real".  And Karla's
>: death is very real.
>: 
>: Of course I wanted to ask if it was suicide (and I am so glad to hear
>: that it wasn't).   But as soon as I thought of it, I got the knee-jerk
>: reaction "God that's so insensitive, you're such a jerk, Holly, don't you
>: know better than to ask a question that may upset someone..."  That same
>: programming told me I should say "I'm so sorry, I wish I knew what to say"
>: and then shut up.  It's not pleasant to realize that my programming is
>: still inside me, but it appears to be the case.  I intend to work on it.

About that programming. Think of it this way: the most natural thing to do
is to say whatever comes into your mind. For example, people in wheelchairs 
want to be treated like everyone else. Even hearing things like "How did it
happen?" might be preferrable to hearing nothing at all. 

It's something that is infused in this culture: programming. We have no cultural
awareness of how to act "natural." There is "cool," and others.. But no healthy
tradition to follow. Either you go 100% ambition or 100% emotion. Not good. So
do what you get the urge to, and things will take care of themselves. It's natural.

>What *did* happen to Karla, anyway - how did she die?

I'd like to know too, even though I don't know her.
(Present tense intentional. I think she's still here.)

>Some have very different views on death - I view death as a happy time for
>the person involved, for they are free of earthly constraints and fears.
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Xref: sparky alt.sexual.abuse.recovery:6773 soc.motss:43067 soc.bi:13718
From: muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery,soc.motss,soc.bi
Subject: Re: Abuse and Homosexuality
Date: 13 Oct 92 13:36:58
Organization: Natural Language Incorporated
	<1992Oct9.132856.9103@zip.eecs.umich.edu>
	<1bfbq7INNir8@agate.berkeley.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: remarque.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: rsr@soda.berkeley.edu's message of 13 Oct 1992 20:33:11 GMT

In article <1bfbq7INNir8@agate.berkeley.edu> rsr@soda.berkeley.edu (Roy S. Rapoport) writes:
> Actually, I quite resent that comment.  Only 45.223% of men have a
> fascination with stats.

Ahh, but what about a fascination with statisticians?

*GRIN*

Muffy
--

Muffy Barkocy                               muffy@mica.berkeley.edu
~Weavers' fingers flying on the loom/patterns shift too fast to be
 discerned/all these years of thinking/ended up like this/in front
 of all this beauty/understanding nothing~ - Bruce Cockburn
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: re.ritual abuse info?
From: anonymus+703@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 17:52:59 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service

I've been told by a friend who is a ritual abuse survivor
that the times when I "flip out" coincide closely with the
"ritual abuse" calendar.  She urged me to get more info about
the "cult calendar" as she called it.  So here I am.  Does anyone
have info about special dates for cult stuff that they'd be
willing to share with me?  Thanks ahead of time ...
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From: sasnla@shadow.unx.sas.com (Nancy Agnew)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: thanks a lot
Date: 15 Oct 92 17:51:46 GMT
Organization: SAS Institute Inc.
Originator: sasnla@shadow.unx.sas.com


you said:

>I sent out a test article just before my goodbye article so I know it got out
              ^^^^
>to you all..... Having absolutely no reply to that article is EXACTLY why
>I posted that article...
>        thanks a lot for caring enough to reply... NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>

Hello Crystal Bell --

I was on vacation last week and think I missed it.  But it seems as though
maybe the goodbye article was the "test" and we failed it.  That's
kind of how it goes.  If you need something from us, please be as
direct and clear about what that is as you can.  

We can't be mind readers.  Hell, we tried that most of our lives, some
of us -- it was a way to reduce the abuse.  Healthy adulthood means
dropping the pretense of mind reading with all of the illogic and
unreasoned responses that can bring.

It seems as though you are angry that we didn't reply because you 
think it means we don't care.  I don't know what you wrote -- but
if you had asked for replies I think you probably would have gotten
them.  The only way you *really* can ascertain that I don't care is
by my saying it directly, or you asking me directly to hear my
response.

stay well,
NLA
-- 
Nancy Agnew                         sasnla@unx.sas.com
SAS Institute Inc,  SAS Campus Dr,  Cary NC 27513-2414
My company's opinions are not likely mine, and vice versa.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: Karl_Kleinpaste@cs.cmu.edu
Subject: Re: Important ACS update (godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu)
Organization: Carnegie-Mellon Univ, Nectar Project
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 05:38:51 GMT

enigma@netcom.com writes:
   I know you're providing
   a much needed service, but would it be a huge imposition to post
   separate announcements for asar and the other groups?  Especially if
   you're applying different standards to the asar people...  which by
   the way I appreciate.

Apologies if the situation made some uncomfortable.  My frustration
with (*cough*) certain people (not in a.s.a.r) had gotten the better
of me, ohwell.  Live and learn.

I'll try to keep in mind doing separate announcements.  Yes, the
standards to be applied are certainly deservedly different.

cheers,
--karl
From: anon-1286@twwells.com (Paul)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: collecting disability
Date: 9 Oct 92 04:42:08 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes


Hi everyone.  My applause for the creator and perpetuators (notice
spelling!!) of this group.  Obviously this is my first posting:
ANON-Mail:  yes
ANON-Announce:  yes
ANON-Name:  Paul

My mother is a survivor of at least 16 yrs of abuse as a child, and she
is also a multiple.  Widowed 10 yrs ago with 5 kids to raise, her
financial situation is not the best.  Now that the youngest have begun
college, her annuity from Dad's civil service job is reduced to minimum
(in effect, no dependents).  She lives in a small town in upstate NY and
the job market is terrible, and location is a problem.  That's irrelevant,
however, as at her current stage in recovery, alters are liable to come
out at (seemingly) random times.

So she can't possibly get a job even if one were available.  She is in the
process of applying for federal disability.  Apparently she can get the
minimum possible amount, but no more as she didn't have many `quarters' on
record.  Does anyone have any experience in things like this?  I'm sorry
my query is not more specific... I don't know if anyone knows any legal
kludges or anything.  She's consulting a lawyer off the books, but I don't
think the attorney has experience with survivor problems.

Sorry if this is inappropriate.  I feel a little strange, as I am not
myself a survivor.  But I guess that's why asar is public.  I imagine
I'll be posting from time to time.  God be with you all (unless that's
insulting; sorry, only 3rd day reading asar and saw no FAQ file).



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From: doug@cdc.hp.com (Doug Sojourner)
Subject: Re: Ritual Child Abuse - ** SPOILERS **
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 23:52:30 GMT
Reply-To: dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
Organization: HP California Design Center, Santa Clara, CA
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.4 PL6]

I've noticed (or read into) several postings on ritual abuse
somethings which are different from what I've heard, and I want to
share these alternative "facts."

1) It seems that people equate ritual with satanic ritual: this need
	not be so.

2) It seems that people equate ritual and/or satanic ritual w/
	non-christian.  In fact, a study from the University of
	Colorado, Bolder Colorado, found that in the survivors they
	studied over 3/4 of the cults were (extremely) deviant
	christian groups. I have heard of one group where most of the
	members belonged to the same christian church, and included
	some "higher ups" in the church.


Doug Sojourner

dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
anon-1158@twwells.com
anonymus+444@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery