From: friday@netcom.com (Carol Anne Ogdin)
Subject: NLP Exercise #1
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 92 17:41:53 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Summary: Communications skills in the NLP model
Keywords: NLP Exercise Communication


DISCLAIMER

Powerful people who influence others are good communicators.  One
of the tools  I use in my magickal practices is Neuro-Linguistic
Programming (NLP) for which  I hold a certificate as Master
Practitioner and Trainer.  Some people in the alt.magick
newsgroup have expressed interest in learning more about NLP,
and I've volunteered to offer some exercises.

This first exercise will be disseminated to the newsgroup.
I will respond to questions about clarification of the instruc-
tions and to reported experiences,  but I will not respond
to challenges or demands about the work itself (source of ideas,
justification, acedemic qualifications, and the like).  I will
continue to post these exercises, one each week, for as long
as I continue to receive reports from alt.magick participants
illustrating to me that they have actually *done* the exercise.

If there are ever fewer than ten people responding with reports
of their experience to an exercise, I will stop posting to this
newsgroup and continue the exchange of exercises and responses
with interested parties by e-mail (I don't believe in cluttering
up the Internet with stuff nobody wants).

This is an experiment:  I've never taught (or learned) NLP
outside the face- to-face classroom; it may or may not work.
Only time will tell.


NLP EXERCISE #1
---------------

Warning:  This exercise contains more power than it may first
appear.  I  assure you that those who *read* this exercise will
not acquire as much as those who *do* the exercise.


NOTICING

While you're in conversation with someone, begin noticing
everything they're  doing.  Pick a conversation that is casual
or neutral, with someone you trust;  a coffeeshop or livingroom
conversation is best.  If you don't practice in  this kind of
conducive environment, you won't be equipped to do this in the
midst of a heated argument.  Here are some of the things you
might perceive:

-  Speech tone, tempo and rhythm.  Notice the tone they use,
and how it shifts with parts of speech, or topic.  Notice how
the tempo speeds up or  slows down, and see if you can determine
what governs that speed (the subject?  your response?  that
pretty distraction walking by?).

-  Breathing rate and location.  Breathing rate is easiest
noticed by  watching the rise and fall of shoulders, or the
movement of shadows on clothing.  Notice, also, *where* the
breathing is:  High in the chest, low in the  abdomen; does it
shift up or down from time to time?

-  Posture, and its changes.  Are they sitting with legs
crossed?  Feet on  the floor?  Do they lean forward when they
speak, back when they listen (or  the opposite?)

-  Eye movements.  Where do they look while they're recalling
something?   How do their eyes move when they talk about
particular subjects?  Do their  pupils change diameter when they
speak of certain people?

-  How many more things can you notice with your eyes and
ears?

There are literally thousands of things you can notice; it may be
a bottomless pit.  Of course, we *don't* notice most of the
time; we've learned to listen to the words instead.

After you've done this a couple of times with different people,
compare the things you noticed.  What seems to be the thing you
notice most in people?  What came as a surprise to you?   What
was different for each person you observed?


PACING

After you've practiced noticing with a few people, you're ready
to move to the next step:  Pace them by picking a *few* of the
characteristics they have and  adopting them in your own
behavior.  You might:

-  Breath from the same place in the torso, and at the same
rate; follow their lead when they change rate or location.  -or-

-  Pick up their tonality, or speech rhythms (and, if they
mispronounce a word or use a malaprop, adopt it, too!).  -or-

-  Duplicate their body posture or upper-body movements.

Now, you need to be subtle here.  If you blatantly *mimic*
someone, they'll take offense when they notice.  That's why I
recommend you just pick one thing to pace.  When they shift in
their seat, for instance, don't immediately follow;  wait for
5-to-10 seconds, *then* shift.  What you're trying to do is get
as close as possible to *mimicking*, but without them noticing.
If you're  successful in one domain, add one more
      (...slo-o-owly...).


FOLLOW-UP

This is *not* a technique for mind-reading.  Some students have
tried this and then reported "it put me in such tune with the
person that I could read their  mind!"  Nonsense.  If you stick
with me though many exercises you *will* learn to exhibit what
some would call mind-reading, but this is just a baby-step in
that direction.

Just report your findings in this newsgroup as a followup to the
topic of this  message.  I'll respond to them all next
weekend...and provide you with a new exercise.
-- 
---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---
    - Friday -                   "If a miracle happens in your vicinity--
      friday@well.sf.ca.us                            take credit for it!"
      (Carol Anne Ogdin)
Newsgroups: alt.magick