From: chrisc@pro-nbs.cts.com (Chris Carstens)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: First Date Ideas
Date: 8 Apr 92 15:47:45 GMT
Organization: ProLine [pro-nbs] San Diego (Tierrasanta), CA.  (619) 571-0152

Two Weeks Ago, I posted the following
 
I'm a psychologist, working on a book for people who want to form new
relationships without hanging around in bars or putting up phony personal
ads.  I'd like your help.
       This is 1992.  What is a fun thing to do on a first date?  Is it
still dinner and a movie, or are there other things that work well?  Email
your suggestions, and I'll post a summary of the responses.  Thanks.
Chris.
 
Here, slightly edited, are the replies.  They are too good to summarize.  
 
Thanks again, 
 
Chris
 
PS.. Anybody with other Ideas, I'd love to hear them.  Email Please. 
Thanks in advance.  
 
In the fitness spirit...anything outdoors is good.  Taking a walk, or
cycling.  You can get to know someone without having to focus 100% on them.
Sometimes the complete focus is uncomfortable.
 
-- Teresa
 
Okay, here's a few:
 
Bowling. Asked her outta the blue. Little did I know she was a SERIOUS
bowler, and really beat me bad. I work with her, so asking her wasn't a
problem. Patching up my male ego afterwards was, however..  :)
 
Horseback Riding. Happens I asked her out for a movie. She has horses,
wanted to go riding instead. I hadn't ridden in years, so we took it easy.
Then, my horse acted up, and threw me...being injury prone, I should have
expected it! The sympathy was nice, though I could have done without the
pain..:)..we are still going out regularly, riding in addition to more
"Traditional" dates, like movies. I guess a "memorable date" like this
one tends to help cement a relationship...it has been several months now.
 
Dancing in Strange Places. I was eating dinner alone a few years back, it
was late and I was the only person in my end of the restaurant. My waitress
was very nice, very pretty, very funny. Since I was her only customer, we
talked a lot through the course of the evening. The everplaying tape they
use in restaurants had another song come on, and I asked her to dance.
She blushed prettily, we danced for a short time. I hung around until she
got off work (I ate more that night than I have in my life, just so I
didn't have to leave) and we went driving around. Dated her for over a
year.
 
 Redneck!    The Official Lumberjack
and Woodgatherer of the RFA
 
 
                                                      
My vote goes for lighting up the barbeque, doing up a rack of ribs and
sitting
on the porch playing guitar after the sun sets.  But that's just me - I'm
looking for the woman who wants to do the same!
 
     - Pat
 
 
Well, I'm a college student and Ice Skating seems to be a pretty big
option, next to dinner and a movie.
 
 
Erich
 
 
I find miniature golf tobe a great first date, and evening at the symphony
& dinner to be good, an afternoon at Kennywood or the conservancy also
works well.
 
John
 
What are fun things to do on a first date? Well, it seems to
me that the key ingredients are 1) Something enjoyable (fun
as you say) for both people, and 2) Something where both people
will have the largest possible chance to talk and get to know
each other.
 
Exactly what is best depends, I think, on the circumstances
* How the people met, and
* What their interests are
 
I also think the word 'date' has to be thought about very carefully.
Does it refer to *any* occasion where two people decide to do something
together, or does it have the stronger connotation of a get-together
in circumstances of 'courting' or 'actively looking for an so' (for one
or both people).
 
Some specific points in answer to your question:
 
1) Dinner and a movie still works well, but it works a lot better
   if you know the other person beforehand (i.e. s/he is a casual
   acquaintance, co-worker, person you met in a group activity etc.).
   If you are on a blind or near-blind first date, I have found dinner
   alone to be best -- you can sit and talk and then perhaps decide
   what to do on the second date.
 
   One big risk with movies is compatibility of interests. I will
   go to just about anything that gets a reasonable critical review,
   but I have too-often found that women I have dated have had a much    
narrower tolerance. A first date movie where there is a lot of violence or
sexual explicitness can make things uneasy.
 
2) Looking back the only things I have done on *first* dates were
   * Simply dropping by to have some tea (I think this counts as a date -
     we stayed and chatted for hours)
   * Meeting at a cafe & nothing more (once)
   * Dinner only (several times)
   * Dinner & movie & talking afterwards in the car or at her place
     (several times)
   * Dinner followed by a play (several times)
   * Going skiiing, followed by a mid-afternoon lunch (once)
   * Going to a formal *do* (once)
   * Going to help out at a soup kitchen! (once)
 
3) Some of the funnest dates (non-first) I have been on were:
   * Going to an exhibition, then going out to eat, then going
     to my place to watch some TV, then doing more talking. The
 
     key here was that we were able to communicate all the time
     (discussing the exhibit, second-guessing what was happening
     on TV). At a movie you can enjoy yourself, but you can
     enjoy yourself just as well alone.
   * Driving to an area of natural beauty, stopping off along the
     way to check out the goings on in several small towns.
     Stopping at a cafe on the way back and exploring some
     backroads.
 
  I think that activities like these could have been used as first
  dates too).
 
- Tim
--
 
my first date with my wife: we went to hear a couple of reggae bands.
we both enjoyed it. i knew the next day that I was going to marry her.
that was five years ago next month, so it may not apply to 92. also,
we were late 20s. can't get any better than that!
 
 -- clint
 
 
1. Race cars at Malibu Grand Prix.
2. Shooting range.
3. Video arcade.
4. Cooking dinner together.
5. Going to a "coffee house".
 
Then there is the "California version".
 
1. Tatoos.
2. Piercings.
3. Activist rally.
 
Tee hee. Only kidding!
 
rf
 
a racquetball game!!! people (specially women) these days are a little
apprehensive about dinner and movie on a first date. doing something in
the gym, one can be himself/herself and not have to pretend to be
someone else. i've met a lot of women this way. if the game is fun, i
usually invite her to a soda afterwards or if i really like her i
squeeze fresh oranges for her.
 
bip
 
One of the first things my current SO and did after having a lunch or two
is go to a boat show during a Sunday afternoon.  It was really fun and
there was no preassure.  We spent almost the whole day together at the boat
show and walking downtown.
 
 
barry
 
I always like the walk by a lake or river approach.  Simple, romantic,
non-threatining.  the movie/dinner idea still works but here (York, PA)
dinner is 10-15 (for fast food) 25+ for real food and a movie runs
5.50 each plus the popcorn ($4), and soda ($3)
 
 
hope this helps..
Jamie
 
You might think I am a little young to offer advice(21) but I have some
ideas. I thinking dinner is part of a good first date but what happens
after that is up to the people.  I have gone dancing which is my absolute
favorite because it gives you a chance to get to know the person.  I have
also gone to a musical,   minature golfing, go carting, walks, going
somewhere and cuddling and, of course seeing a movie. I hope I have given
you some good respnoses.
 
mike
 
    Picnics, on a beach or in a park ( preferably near the water ), are
always fun.  Skiing is also an idea.
 
                                Dan "Fish" McMillen
 
My wife and I went out to eat after church for our first date.  Later
that day we went to a Christian rock concert (Greg X. Volz) with mutual
friends.  We had a REALLY enjoyable time.  It was very relaxed, with no
pressure what so ever.  We both think that the first few dates are more
 
enjoyable and relaxed when you are with mutual friends.
 
                                Andy & Deb
A picnic is still one of the best first (or subsequent) dates.
You look at each other and talk in a very non-threatening en-
vironment, there's lots to observe, no distractions unless you
want them to be distracting, no pressure on either for decisions
or actions they're not ready for or don't want at all with the
other person.  Even ants can't ruin a good picnic.
 
BDW
 
1I met my boyfriend through the personals.  I placed an "ad" on
alt.personals
in the newsgroups and he responded.  About 250 guys responded to that one
ad. Steve, my boyfriend, and I talked constantly on the computer..than he
flew down to see me.  He lives in Illinois and I live in North Carolina. 
Since then, we have seen each other as much as possible, he has applied to
transfer schools to be with me, and we are always on the computer with each
other as much as possible.  Also the phone when we can afford it.  If he
gets accepted to attend school with me, we have tentively made plans to get
married this summer.
 
I hope this answers your questions....just let me know if you need more
information.
 
Lisa
 
That's one thing that really bothers me.  These days, date seems to be a
four-letter word (meaning foul).  There are too many hopes IMHO pinned on
going out with someone.  A first date is just a meeting...expectations of
happily ever after don't belong.
 
Teresa
 
 
 
Thanks again to all.  Once more, if you have any good ideas and you don't
see them here, Please Email them to me.  Chris Carstens.
----
ProLine:  chrisc@pro-nbs
Internet: chrisc@pro-nbs.cts.com
UUCP:     ryptyde!pro-nbs!chrisc

Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples