From: cmc@cs.utexas.edu (Chi Ming Cheung)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: One WM who loves Oriental Fs
Date: 15 Dec 1992 14:09:26 -0600
Organization: CS Dept, University of Texas at Austin
NNTP-Posting-Host: grit.cs.utexas.edu

In article <1992Dec10.054545.22825@colorado.edu> pellouch@alumni.cs.colorado.edu (Philip Pellouchoud) writes:
	[stuff deleted]
>OH GIVE ME A BREAK!  A "plight" is when people actually have a REAL problem.
>I don't consider male chauvenist pigs (note, I didn't say that ALL asian men
>were MCPs, heck, I didn't even mention asian men) whinning about not being
>able to attract women because they still live in the dark ages a plight,
>I call that a desperate act of stupidity.  Hey fellahs, it's real simple,
>if you want the asian women to stop "going to the dark side" then stop
>treating them as second class citizens, stop treating them like what your
>cat threw up last night, and stop being so damn hysterical.  "If you do this,
>they will come...  If you do this, they will come... (repeated ad infinitum)" 
	[stuff deleted]
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I agree with you that people who treat women as second class citizens deserve
to die alone.  Not too long ago, one justification given by the KKK for
lynching African American males was precisely to *protect* THEIR white women.
As far as I know, I don't own any woman, I don't want to.  But, I am still
affected by the stereotyping of Asian males.  Question: Who in their right mind
wants to date a person who is uncool or perceived to be uncool (whatever
coolness means at the moment)?  Answer: Not too many people.

Also, let me give you my theory of why stereotyping is so insidious.
If you were to tell an AVERAGE person some general statements about an
MINORITY, his/her perception of that race will be significantly influenced.
The same argument does not apply to the majority, because, most people
have so many contacts with the majority that stereotypes just don't stick.

I went out with some woman on a date once.  I found that she has all these
preconceived notions about me.  During the date, it seems to me that she was
trying to gather information in order to justify her prejudice!  Later I
found out that she went around telling people all kinds of nasty things
about me.  All these from ONE date?  We went for a movie for god sake!
We didn't even talk that much.

Of course I went out with people who got to know me better.  I am currently
dating an unique woman.  We have been together for eight years.  She is (here
we go) white. Believe me it took a long time for us to dispelled all prejudices
concerning each other.  I still could not believe that she made a statement
connecting Chinese with the laundry business.  I brought it up years later,
and she didn't remember making it.  We both had a good laugh though.

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	[stuff deleted]
>    my intent at all.  I just feel really passionate about this subject,
>    and I'm getting really sick of the whining;  Let's stop whining and do
>    something about it.
	[stuff deleted]
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I agree.  I believe that if one perceives a problem one has three options:
1) Dissociate from the problem if possible.
2) Do something about it if one can.
3) Acquiesce if necessary.

Bringing up the problem constantly without doing anything about it will only
drain YOUR energy.  Very unconstructive.

If you are an not a native American, your ancestors came to this country to
look for better lives.  If you perceived that the situation for you here is
intolerable, consider going to some other country for a while.  Work there,
see if it is better.  For example, I am going to work in Singapore after I
am done with my Ph.D.  (This is a solution of type 1.)

If I find Singapore to be unacceptable, I will try to change the stereotype of
Asian males here by
1) Being myself.
2) Influence the media somehow.  (Haven't work that part out yet.)
(This is a solution of type 2.)

Right now for me solutions of type 3 are only reserved for problems I deem to 
be natural or inevitable, e.g. diseases, death, taxes, etc.  I hope I don't
have to expand my set of type 3 solutions, but I rule nothing out.

Study the problems you are experiencing, try to make things work for you.
You don't want to change from an argry young person to an argry middle-aged
person to an angry old person.  It is simply too much work.

Good luck.

--M.
Xref: sparky soc.culture.asian.american:10996 ca.politics:10427 soc.motss:53005