From: anon-1421@twwells.com (Seeker)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Question about cutting
Date: 11 Dec 92 21:15:10 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes


In article 24F@twwells.com, anon-1454@twwells.com (Screaming_Fist) writes:
>If anyone has solutions on how to stop themselves from cutting,
>or even if you've found a way to do it less often, would you
>please either post about it or email me?  I'd be grateful!

I used to cut/burn/bite myself and had stopped until 
recently but I have always had the urge/compulsion to self-mutilate.
There are many reasons for cutting. Sometimes cutting is my way of
coping with extreme emotional pain (helps stuff the feeling or 
distract me from the pain. Physical pain is easier to 
control). When that is the case, I try
to substitute a more constructive coping skill. 

Sometimes I need attention, in which case I short circuit the cutting part
and just try to get attention (call and tell someone "I want to cut
myself. I want attention. Let's talk."). 

Sometimes I want to punish myself because I think I am the 
scum of the earth, in which case I pretend I am a good friend 
and hug/comfort myself. 

For a while, I used cutting as a way of telling myself that I was 
doing things I did not want to do (a shrink was trying to get me to 
deal with abuse stuff and I DID NOT WANT TO! sothere. Stopped seeing
the shrink and stopped cutting). 

Mostly I have tried to remove the mystery from it and just think of
cutting as one way I have of dealing with XXX, whatever XXX may be.
That takes away some of its power over me and allows me to substitute
a different coping skill. I read in the asar FAQ that 
cutting is common among abuse victims, although I have heard differing
opinions on whether any type of abuse can cause it or mainly 
sexual abuse.

I have tried the following things to stop cutting with reasonable success.

	- call a friend and talk about it. You can pre-wire the friend.
		(I had a shrink that helped me this way)
	- figure out what is underlying need to cut (usually extreme emotional
		pain for me) and try to act on that instead.
	- draw a picture (scribbled with 4 pencils at once, broke
		the points off of them, tore the paper, had fun :-) )
	- draw a picture of what I would like to do to myself, or generally
		gorey pictures. (My college notes are full of gorey pictures).
	- get in my car (or other private place) and scream.
	- write about how I am feeling.
	- do something physical - exercise.
	- hide under furniture, in closets, etc - wherever feels safe.

I tried to cut myself Tues but couldn't because my knives are too dull :-) . 
Later that evening, in group therapy,
I realized what I really wanted was attention so I asked for it and was fine.

P.S. I used to try to have no sharp objects around the house but
that was unrealistic because the world is full of them and they are often
useful of other purposes (eating steak, etc).

Hope my experience is helpful. I am really looking forward to hearing
what other people do. 

Best wishes.
-Seeker



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
anon-admin@twwells.com -- ANON administrator
anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery