From: cowan@aqua.ocunix.on.ca (D. Cowan (Postmaster))
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: The Tent Joke
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 92 12:29:06 GMT
Organization: The Aquarium, Ottawa, Ontario

        When I was a little boy, my family did not have a lot of
money.  My father had a reasonably well paying job, but with four kids
and a dog, money was often tight.  This is not to say that we were
deprived or unhappy.  Our family did many activities together, but our
favorite was camping, which we did year-round, blazing heat or freezing cold.
        It was a great site to see the whole clan scrambling to get
everything together for a weekend trip.  The whole family then piled
into our Chevy stationwagon with a dog bigger than the three smallest
children put together.  Dad would then tie down our trusty tent to the
top of the Chevy and off we would go.
        Our tent was amazing in and of itself.  It was a army surplus
tent large enough for the whole family plus dog.  It had survived
though rain storms, snow storms, wind storms.  It had twice been
uprooted from its stakes in high winds.  (Makes me wonder why we went
camping in so much terrible weather.)  It had blown off the Chevy a
couple of times, but it had always survived.  At least it survived
with mother's help at the sewing machine.  It had patches over patches
but it was still our faithful camping tent.
        But alas, canvas can only last so long, so after about ten
years of steady service, my Dad admitted one summer that our tent was
no longer useable.  We didn't go camping at all the following fall.
The only thing that kept us kids controllable was that Dad promised we
would get a new tent at Christmas, and we could go camping all winter.
        So Mom and Dad went on a savings program to get the money for
our new tent.  They even got us kids to pitch in a little.  Money was
tight, but the savings accumulated, and we all had visions of a great
winter outdoors.  That is, until disaster struck in late November, and
my little bother Johnny broke his arm.  Dad hadn't counted on an emergency,
and the hospital and doctor bills completely depleted our tent saving.  We
were all downcast at the prospect of no winter camping.  Even I was
almost sorry I pushed Johnny off the roof.
        So as Christmas approached, we were all pretty glum.  There
weren't as many presents around the tree as usual, because the extra
money had gone into my bother's arm.  Finally, Christmas Eve was here,
and our month long depression was lifted a little, because we could
open our presents.  Dad had to work, but he was late, and hadn't
called.  Mother began to worry, and just before she called the police,
Dad drove up.  We couldn't believe our eyes!  There on top of the
Chevy was a brand new shiny tent, even larger than Old Faithful.
        Instantly, five voices started asking Dad question after
question, so he ushered us all into the living room, around the
Christmas tree to tell us what happened.  It seems that Dad had seen
an advertisement for a store called SURPLUS CITY (all caps required).
Last week he had gone by to see if they had any tents that we could
afford.  There was one perfect tent (the only one actually) for $60.
So Dad worked a little overtime and scrimped a little on his Christmas
gifts and he scraped together about $45.  That night he had gone to
SURPLUS CITY with his $45 and tried to get a bargain on the tent.  He
had managed to chisel the manger down to $50 for the tent, but from
there the manager wouldn't budge.  There was no credit or lay-away at
SURPLUS CITY, either, just cold hard cash.
        So Dad went back out to the car, and thought about how hard it
would be to come home empty handed.  In a flash of inspiration, he got
the spare tire from the car and went back in.  He asked the manager if
he would take the spare tire for $5 so he could buy the tent.  With
that act of desperation, the managers heart softened.  What with it
being Christmas and all, and my father being so intent on getting the
tent, and stopping in several times over the past week, he let Dad
have the tent for $40.
        When Dad finished telling this story, we all cheered and
hollered and generally made fools of ourselves.  That was the happiest
Christmas I have ever had.  And that was the best winter of camping we
ever had too, in THE WINTER OF OUR DISCOUNT TENT.




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