From: oakes@nmt.edu (David Oakes)
Subject: Re: Cosms 'R' Us (minor reference to Re: FYI)
Organization: New Mexico Tech
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 17:55:12 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.114733.12385@mksol.dseg.ti.com> ctalbott@mksol.dseg.ti.com (christopher j talbott) writes:
>While we were on the subject of the Toon Cosm, I thought I'd post the following
>"Cartoon Laws of Physics"...they may help Dave "Sky fits Heaven" Oakes to develop
>his World Laws and axioms...or they may not.  In any event, enjoy...
>
>
>                       Cartoon Law of Physics
>                       ----------------------

i appreciate the help (since i get no support at home...)
i will now demonstrate that the rules i posted cover these laws:

>Cartoon Law I
>=============
>Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its
>situation.

cartoon physics - "i can ignore gravity"
(looking down is a setback, often caused by bad karma)

>Cartoon Law II
>==============
>Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter
>intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on
>foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a
>telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion
>absolutely.  Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion
>the stooge's surcease.

minor effect of cartoon physics, and also players call 
("i am going to stop him dead in his tracks with this one")
(also, cartoon knock back - Knockdown effects are EXTREME -
 moving things stop dead, stationary objects fly far)
(see A-ko [superhero anime] for good examples of this)

>Cartoon Law III
>===============
>Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation
>conforming to its perimeter.
>
>Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality
>of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who
>are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a
>house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole.  The threat of skunks or
>matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

just a cute touch, if you can do 4 wnds at once...

>Cartoon Law IV
>==============
>The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than
>or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to
>spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.

be there - allows for instantaneous transport, is successful...

>Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it
>inevitably unsuccessful.

and is inevitably due to bad karma on the part of the catcher...

>Cartoon Law V
>=============
>All principles of gravity are negated by fear.

players call, intimidate - "im going to make him jump out of his skin"

>Cartoon Law VI
>==============
>As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.

have object and be there (with massive penalties) allow a character to
replicate himself and/or be in two places at once

>Cartoon Law VII
>===============
>Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel
>entrances; others cannot.

cartoon physics - if it looks like it, it is

>This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least
>it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick
>an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space.
>The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow
>into the painting.  This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

not always true, as the painter will sometimes follow
(usually to be met by an oncoming train! - be creative with setbacks/failures)

>Cartoon Law VIII
>================
>Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.

true of all cartoon matter, see resist damage

>Cartoon Law IX
>==============
>Everything falls faster than an anvil.

bad karma, failed cartoon physics (to fall slower)

>Cartoon Law X
>=============
>For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.

the exact basis for the law of karma
(one sorely lacking in many modern cartoons...)

>Cartoon Law Amendment A
>=======================
>A sharp object will always propel a character upward.

see cartoon knockback, also players call on maneuver

>Cartoon Law Amendment B
>=======================
>The laws of object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters.

see have object

>Cartoon Law Amendment C
>=======================
>Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries.

cartoon physilogy, and the need to satisfy the law of karma...

>Cartoon Law Amendment D
>=======================
>Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths.
>Their operation can be wittnessed by observing the behavior of a canine
>suspended over a large vertical drop.  Its feet will begin to fall
>first, causing its legs to stretch.  As the wave reaches its torso, that
>part will begin to fall, causing the neck to strech.  As the head begins
>to fall, tension is released and the canine will resume its regular
>proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.

cute side effect - we should all be so descriptive

>Cartoon Law Amendment E
>=======================
>Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces" (spaces in which
>cartoon laws hold).

see have object

>The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the universe which
>postulated that the tensions involved in maintianing a space would cause
>the creation of hydrogen from nothing.  Dynamite quanta are quite large
>(stick sized) and unstable (lit).  Such quanta are attracted to psychic
>forces generated by feelings of distress in "cool" characters (see
>Amendment B, which may be a special case of this law), who are able to
>use said quanta to their advantage.  One may imagine C-spaces where all
>matter and energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding.  A
>big bang indeed.

dave "you are thinking to hard - relax and laugh" oakes
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