HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: george@coral.micro.umn.edu (Rogers George)
Subject: Re: Transcript of Last Night's VP Debate
Organization: University of Minnesota CIS
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 13:42:18 GMT

In article <1992Oct15.041204.12628@galileo.cc.rochester.edu> cm007b@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Dr. Ski) writes:
>
>Pretty funny...the sad thing is that one of these three wil be our VP.
>
>-Dr.Ski

How easily we all forget that one of them IS our VP.

-Rog.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:30597 alt.folklore.urban:25039
From: cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz (Phil Ross)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Personal message for 'doc'
Keywords: !
Date: Wed, 07 Oct 92 19:58:23 +1300
Distribution: world
Organization: The Hovel Bulletin Board System

pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:

> Doc - forging a test message from me is the last straw.  Unless I recieve an
> apology from you forthwith, I'm going to contact your sysadmin.  If I can't
> get your priviledges revoked, I'm going to go higher.
> You have until next Friday (Oct 9) to apologize.

OOOh.  Isn't that very scary folks?

--
cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz    X Phil Ross
cybapunk@tornado.welly.gen.nz  X Sysop of The Hovel BBS
cybapunk@sideways.welly.gen.nz X Author of Lords And Ladies, _THE_ BBS door!
     ... If at first you don't succeed, redefine success ...
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers
From: hansm@cs.kun.nl (Hans Mulder)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: University of Nijmegen, The Netherlands
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 20:09:58 GMT

In artikel <1992Oct8.165633.29020@klaava.Helsinki.FI> schrijft olounela@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Olli Lounela):
>In article <1992Oct08.105716.18217@NeoSoft.com> peter@NeoSoft.com (Peter da Silva) writes:
>>Peter da Silva.  <peter@sugar.neosoft.com>.
>> `-_-'   "Oletko halannut suttasi tdnddn?"
>>  'U`  
>>Dit kan mijn kamer niet zijn, ik adem geen ammoniak.

>WOW! I wouldn't have thought you'd use Finnish! And in such a faultless
>language!

Hmmm, it looks like faultless Dutch to me.

>(BTW, you have revealed the type of the machine and/or the network where
>you work. The d's are the quirk of a translation. :-)

Actually, YOU have revealed something about your machine and/or network.
Those d's were a's-with diaeresis in Peter's article as it arrived here.

>	Olli, 3 dan

-- 
HansM, 1 kyu			`-_-'		Nee, ik heb vandaag mijn
hansm@cs.kun.nl			 'U`		wolf nog niet geknuffeld.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:31221 alt.folklore.computers:15147 rec.humor.d:2387
From: dave@frackit.UUCP (Dave Ratcliffe)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Date: 14 Oct 92 21:13:54 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor.d
Organization: Data Factory Services, Harrisburg, Pa.


 In article <1992Oct8.173208.13667@cs.uow.edu.au>, u9147063@cs.uow.edu.au (Richard Barry Ling) writes:
 >
 > ObJoke:
 > 
 > 01010111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01100100
 > 01101111 01100111 01110011 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100011 01101011
 > 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101001 01110010 00100000 01100100
 > 01101001 01100011 01101011 01110011 00111111 00001010 01000010 01100101
 > 01100011 01100001 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000
 > 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00101110 00001010

That wasn't a _bit_ funny

-- 
 ...uunet!wa3wbu!frackit!dave -or-                       |  Dave Ratcliffe  |
 frackit!dave@uunet.UU.NET -or- dave@frackit.uucp -or-   |  Sys. <*> Admin. |
 vogon1!compnect!frackit!dave@psuvax1.psu.edu            | Harrisburg,  Pa. |
Organization: The American University - University Computing Center
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 21:26:23 EDT
From: <TKUSTER@auvm.american.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject:  Request: Purity Tests

Call me a fool for missing them when they were here last week but I wasn't
expecting to need them.  Could someone with more foresight than myself
please send me any purity tests over 500 questions?  I'd be most apprecietive.
Honest.  Thanks in advance

Todd.
From: jds23971@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Neff)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bathroom graffiti
Date: 8 Oct 92 02:33:49 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

T9214517@phillip.edu.au (BIGGUS DICKUS) writes:


>>Funniest bathroom graffiti I ever saw (still makes me laugh,
>>8 years later...) is the following:
>>
>>   Written at the bottom of the door on the inside (so
>>   you'll see it while you're sitting there in all your
>>   glory):
>>
>>         CAUTION: LIMBO DANCERS (+ down arrow)
>>

>    here's another :
>	Written just above the toilet paper dispenser...
>	"arts degrees : Please take one "


I like it....Here's one of my favorites off the guy's bathroom wall.
It's sexist...girls don't take it too seriously 'cause I've got better
things to do than read hate mail...not sure what, but I've got something
better to do.....

Why do doctors spank babies?

To knock the dicks off the dumb ones!

Sorry

Jeff
From: geh@cs.nott.ac.uk (Gavin Edward Hutchinson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: WANTED: Jokes on accountants
Date: 12 Oct 92 08:44:05 GMT
Distribution: rec.humor
Organization: Nottingham University

In article <roy.718835261@osceola.cs.ucf.edu> roy@osceola.cs.ucf.edu (Ian Roy) writes:
>
>Hi Netters,
>
>	I am looking for accountant jokes. If any one has some (or better
>yet, a list) couldthey mail it to
>
>	air@ccd.harris.com
>
>	or post them in rec.humor ?
>
>	Thanks,
>
>	Ian

Would a constipated accountant work it out with a pencil ???

	Gavin
From: Lloyd_Sumpter@mindlink.bc.ca (Lloyd Sumpter)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Movie Dialogues please........
Date: 9 Oct 92 00:37:15 GMT
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Distribution: world

> Caesar Naples writes:
>
> Msg-ID: <1992Oct7.171923.6339@meaddata.com>
> Posted: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 17:19:23
>
> Org.  : Mead Data Central, Dayton OH
>
>
> In article <1992Oct6.212623.20874@ge-dab.GE.COM>,
> jerry@stratford.dab.ge.com (Jerry Szulinski) writes:
> |>
> |> The last Eastwood western (Unforgiven, was it?):
> |> Hackman (I think): "You just shot an unarmed man."
> |> Eastwood:          "I guess he should've armed himself"
> |>
> |> YES, one of the ultimate quotes of all times; the crowd goes wild.
>
>
> Even better, from the same movie...
> Hackman:  "...I thought I was dead, then I realized I was just in
> Nebraska."
>
>

    I like this one, from "48 Hrs II":

    "Do you have your eyes open or are you, like, usin' the Force?"

--

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<semi-YAHOO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
                    Lloyd_Sumpter@mindlink.bc.ca
             "Amiga made it - Commodore screwed it up"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN)
Subject: Re: Election Jokes
Summary:   Aren't they all?
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 21:55:00 GMT

In article <1992Oct8.195525.24062@news.unomaha.edu>, hramchan@cwis.unomaha.edu
(Harish Ramchandani) writes...
>The presidential Election date is Tuesday, November 3, 1992.
>...........
>IT IS TIME TO STOP JOKING AND START VOTING.
> 
>YOUR NOT VOTING MAY BE THE BIGGEST JOKE OF ALL!
	Actually, your act of casting a vote may be the biggest joke of all.
Ya see, the president is NOT chosen through popular vote.  The electoral 
college chooses him (gender-specific pronoun intended);  the make-up of the
electors is determined by the percentage of the population that participates
in the presidential primaries.  Ever hear of President Dewey? Me neither.  
Dewey ran against Truman and won according to the popular vote;  Truman
won according to the electoral vote.
	You might ask then, why is the popular vote tallied at all?  I
don't know for , but my gut feeling is that it is the biggest sham
in the modern ``free'' world.  Those in power don't have  to actually
give a shit about how ``we the people'' feel; they just have to APPEAR 
to care.
				dp
favorite quote _from_ libertarians:
	``Vote Dempublican: it's easier than thinking.''
favorite quote _about_ libertarians:
	``I used to think I was a Libertarian, until I met one.''

_/\  /\ dp: (aka, daniel prosser) == S7356911@UCSVAX.UCS.umass.edu   /\
   \/  \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  \/~~~~~
	``Shit happ++ATOH
NO CARRIER
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com ("Johnson")
Subject: Re: funny names
Reply-To: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Wireless Enterprises, Schaumburg, IL
Distribution: rec
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 04:08:08 GMT

In article <1992Oct3.4202.2812@dosgate>, mike.clemens@canrem.com (mike clemens) writes:
=)> I know a guy in the town I'm from whose name is "Harry Dick".
=)>
=)> Now if you ask me, if that was my name I'd go by Harold, but he goes
=)> Harry.
=)
=)I know some guy named "Mike Hunt".  people always page him at the mall
=)just so they can hear his name over the loudspeaker.  I'd at least go by
=)Michael Hunt or something other than that.
=)
These are obviously two of the most popular individuals in North America.
It seems like everybody who posts to rec.humor knows one or the other of
them.  Instead of ping-ponging indefinitely like this, why don't we just
leave in the quoted text and make it a cascade?
-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson"                              | Don't say words you're gonna regret|
| johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com | Don't let fire rush to your head   |
|                                        |        -- The Alan Parsons Project |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  If I spoke for Motorola, things would be a lot different around here!      |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: stevek@providence (Steven Klitzing)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Movie Dialogue
Date: 13 Oct 92 15:12:37 GMT
Organization: Informix Software, Inc.

Here's one from that classic bomb, Plan 9 From Outer Space...

<As a policeman and police chief survey a foggy field full of dead bodies>

Policeman: Chief, look at all the dead bodies!

Chief: Someone's responsible for this!

Here's one from Cast a Giant Shadow.

<the setup, A woman radio operator in an armored car that is attacking the  
gate of an arab fortress.  The arabs open fire with a flamethrower and  
torch the armored car.  From inside the armored car, the woman radio  
operator shouts on the radio..."It's getting hot!">

Here's one from a movie starring Martin Landau, I don't remember the name,  
but it was about a parrot-beaked alien who throws starfish at people to  
kill them.  Martin Landau is at a town meeting where people are discussing  
all the people killed by the space invaders.  Landau shouts this pearl of
wisdom..."Them aliens!...THEY AIN'T HUMAN!"

Or, from War of the Worlds...the Air Force drops an atomic bomb on the  
Martians.  We see a shot of the Martian ships, undamaged, moving around in  
the mushroom cloud.  A general looks through his binoculars and says...
"It didn't stop them..."

Or, from Earth Vs. the Flying Saucers...the Army fights a big battle  
against the aliens and their flying saucers...and they drive them off but  
level Washington D.C. in the process.  At the end, the hero and heroine
look into each other's eyes and this great dialogue takes place...

Heroine:Do you think they'll come back?

Hero: (smiles) Not on such a nice day.
From: mei172@cch.coventry.ac.uk (guru)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: NoTitle
Date: 12 Oct 92 16:55:19 GMT
Organization: Coventry University

In article <1992Oct5.215251.13539@seas.gwu.edu> ahmad@seas.gwu.edu (Aftab Ahmad) writes:
>
>	If a he-faggat marries a she-faggat, can they have little fagggats?

guru sez:
	prat.
-- 
      /~~~) /   / /~~~) /   /  
     (___/ (___/ /     (___/   These mind-expanding drugs have given me so much
        /                      imagination, I'm hallucinating grey vividly....
   (___/ mei172@cch.cov.ac.uk                       Victor Lewis-Smith
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin)
Subject: Re: Election Jokes
Reply-To: pt@geovision.gvc.com
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 12:51:13 GMT

mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver) writes:

>Agreed. The representative democracy we have in this country sucks wind.


Speak for yerself, Yank!

-- 
Paul Tomblin, pt@geovision.gvc.com
(This is not an official opinion/statement of GeoVision Systems Inc.)
"Ok dear, want me to call the bike shop and see if they'll sponsor your
mid-life crisis?" "Yeah.  Ask them if they'll upgrade my shifters, too"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ahoekstr@cs.utwente.nl (Andre Hoekstra)
Subject: Re: Hello
Organization: University of Twente, Dept. of Computer Science
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 15:53:10 GMT

>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>> >>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>> >>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>> >>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>> >>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>> >>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>> >>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>> >>>>Why not today.
>>> >>> BTW... :-)
>>> >>Throw the "C" manual away !
>>> >I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
>>> BASIC is here to stay!
>>12 year olds sure like to play!
>I'll add one more line, OK?
It isn't funny anayway!

Andre--
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
From: monalisa@wam.umd.edu (Joe Leger)
Subject: Retirement Bulletin
Organization: Workstations at Maryland, University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 20:26:36 GMT

~r retirement.humor
From: jkemper@ub.d.umn.edu (Forgetful)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: You Might Be Considered a RED NECK if....
Date: 16 Oct 92 15:16:23 GMT
Organization: University of Minnesota, Duluth
NNTP-Posting-Host: ub.d.umn.edu

Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Funniest joke
Organization: University of Minnesota, Duluth


	I need your FUNNIEST joke ASAP!!!

	Please send it to jkemper@ub.d.umn.edu



		THANKS!!!!!
From: john.fix@hardgood.com (John Fix) 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: RE: MORE TASTELESS ACRONY
Date: 10 Oct 92 18:34:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Hardgoods East BBS - Eastchester, NY (914) 961-8749
Reply-To: john.fix@hardgood.com (John Fix) 

TO: nathan@cco.caltech.edu



-> E cological
-> A larmism
-> R etold
-> T o
-> H ysterical
-> D opes
-> A nd
-> Y oungsters

-> If you want to, flame me, but you
-> won't change a thing.

Eat my owl!

                                  -= John =-
          
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Paul Hagar <hagar@phoenix.princeton.edu>
Subject: cartoon candidates
Originator: news@nimaster
X-Xxdate: Fri, 16 Oct 92 10:31:58 GMT
Organization: PPPL
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d7
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 14:40:41 GMT

An exercise...

Quayle is to Odie as 
																	-Bush is to Daffy Duck. 
		                              -Stockdale is to Foghorn Leghorn. (What?
I say, what...)
																	-Perot is to the Noid. (Domino's Pizza 'toon)
																	-Gore is to Zippy the Pinhead.
																	-Clinton is to Pogo.

Brilliant additions or modifications? Post 'em.

Vote carefully,

-Paul
_________________________________________
Paul S. Hagar, Big Sky Country Native
hagar@phoenix.princeton.edu
From: rajain@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
Date: 7 Oct 92 10:26:47 GMT

In article <g88d4938.19.718373727@giraffe.ru.ac.za>, g88d4938@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MR GE DOYLE) writes:
> In article <1992Oct5.180043.12897@menudo.uh.edu> cosc184z@menudo.uh.edu ((COSC148O) 92F00761) writes:
>>From: cosc184z@menudo.uh.edu ((COSC148O) 92F00761)
>>Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
>>Date: 5 Oct 92 18:00:43 GMT
>>In article <g88d4938.17.718125216@giraffe.ru.ac.za> g88d4938@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MR GE DOYLE) writes:
>>>In article <1992Oct1.185854.12811@welchgate.welch.jhu.edu> davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi) writes:
>>>>From: davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi)
>>>>Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
>>>>Date: 1 Oct 92 18:58:54 GMT
>>>>In article 2674@mprgate.mpr.ca, dyck@mpr.ca (Trevor Dyck) writes:
>>>>>In article <18589.2ac98f5c@ecs.umass.edu> rajain@ecs.umass.edu writes:
>>>>>>In article <1992Sep30.011320.15121@schbbs.mot.com>, CENG51@maccvm.corp.mot.com (Craig Witkowski) writes:
>>>>>>>>In article 6740@newshost.anu.edu.au, herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriks
>>>>>>>>>> titus@coombs.anu.edu.au (titus chiu) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>> herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriksson) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>> rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Avoid cascades -- end all your lines with ``purple''!
>>>>>>>>>>>>"Bug" won't rhyme, but do you think "burp"'ll?
>>>>>>>>>>>Cant find a rhyme, why not ask Steve Urkle?
>>>>>>>>>>And get him to sing the Yankee Doodle!
>>>>>>>>>gotta say finding a rhyme is a battle!
>>>>>>>>And take the choicest cuts of cattle!
>>>>>>> In your car blast Heavy Metal
>>>>>>First, I got a score to settle $
>>>>>Since when does "settle" rhyme with "purple"?
>>>>Does purple rhyme with apple?
>>>What about apple and settle?
>>Does anyone have an orange?
> What rhymes with orange?
Maybe... "Danny Ainge" ??? :-~
From: wj_wigna@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Ebeneezer Goode)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: practical jokes for students
Date: 14 Oct 92 10:27:41 GMT
Organization: University of the West of England, Bristol


I need some practical jokes to be played on a load of students, anything
will do as long as I get loads of suggestions I'll be OK. Needed by next
week if poss.

Bill
From: baptiste@bnr.ca (Michael Baptiste P275)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Classic IBM
Date: 8 Oct 92 18:44:19 GMT
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, BNR-RTP



One of the guys in my department sent this to me, and I figured it would bring a few laughs.

This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch
Offices.  The person who wrote it was very serious, but the rest of us may find
it rather funny.

Abstract:  Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

Mouse balls are now available as FRU.  Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate
or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.  Because
of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should
only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside 
of the mouse.  Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.
Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.
Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method.  Domestic balls are replaced
using the twist-off method.  Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.  However,
excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.  Upon completion of ball 
replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining
optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should
suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

To reorder, specify one of the following: 

P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d,alt.tasteless.jokes
From: jonm@Ingres.COM (WHT WLD TH WRLD B LK WTHT VWLS???)
Subject: Re: WANTED: Wild Headlines and Article Titles
Summary: 
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 12 Oct 92 15:34:55 GMT

>Substance and truthfulness are not necessary.  Back-up stories not wanted.
>Headlines only, damnit!  Do the tabloids one better.    
>Headlines may be joined by description of accomp[anying photo or illustration.
> 

Hey about this one.  In the lebanon war.  There shiites katyusha'd a van
that was carrying UN soldiers.

The Sun (UK) printed

OH NO... The shiites hit the van...

Jon
From: te_ind03@Oswego.EDU (Robb Sharpe)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: WANTED URGENTLY !! Lawyer/Legal jokes
Date: 16 Oct 92 18:39:45 GMT
Article-I.D.: oswego.1992Oct16.183945.15554
Reply-To: te_ind03@oswego.Oswego.EDU (Robb Sharpe)
Organization: Instructional Computing Center, SUNY at Oswego, Oswego, NY

In article <Bw2G01.n0z@dcs.ed.ac.uk> la@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Lewis Alderton) writes:
>In article <1992Oct13.134720.1@vax1.tcd.ie>, mjwaters@vax1.tcd.ie writes:
>> 
>> 
>> Can anyone who has any Lawyer jokes or a list of lawyer jokes 
>> please send them to me. Virtually any kind of relevant garbage 
>> accepted.
>> Many thanks.
>
>-- 
>
>Q. What's the difference between a Lawyer and a Herd of Buffalo ??
>
>A. The Lawyer charges more.
>
Q.  What's the difference between a Lawyer and a Catfish?

A.  One is a scum-sucking bottom dweller and the other is a fish.
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Check your music...
Date: 14 Oct 92 06:44:16 GMT
Article-I.D.: tamsun.1992Oct14.064416.2527
Organization: ~/lib/organization

I recently found these in my music collection as names that groups use to
copyright their song lyrics. So check your music for others!

...and get out he magnifying glass...


Buttnuggett                         -- Alice in Chains

In One Ear And Out Your Mother      -- Soundgarden




Ratboy (aka)
From: peterson@vulcan.mcs.anl.gov (nosreteP ekiM)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Wanted: Rupture Jokes
Date: 8 Oct 92 15:53:40 GMT
Article-I.D.: mcs.1992Oct8.155340.16314
Reply-To: peterson@vulcan.mcs.anl.gov (nosreteP ekiM)
Organization: Argonne National Laboratory, Chicago, Illinois

In article <Bvt6w0.KJs@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, russelrp@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Robert Russell) writes:
>In article <1992Oct5.091846.1@woods.ulowell.edu> cotera@woods.ulowell.edu writes:
>>Anyone hear any rupture jokes?
>>
>>E.g. When you're swimming in a swamp
>>     And a turtle takes a chomp
>>     That's a rupture
>>--Ray Cote
>Okay.
>
>When you're walking down the hall
>and your balls hit the wall
>that's a rupture!
>
>When you're sliding into base
>and you hit that 'special place'
>that's a rupture!
>
>When you're rowing in a boat
>and an oar smacks your scrote
>that's a rupture!
>
>When you're getting lotsa head
>and it starts a-spurting red
>that's a rupture!
>
>When you're running on the track
>and a hurdle snags your sack
>that's a rupture!
>
>When you're zipping up your coat
>and you hit that special note
>that's a rupture!
>
>When a random falling brick
>makes a landing on your dick
>that's a rupture!
>
>When the shuttle "Atlantis"
>hits you where you piss
>that's a rupture!
>
>(Ok, we're really straining here...)
>
>When you're getting a circumcision
>from a doc with no precision
>that's a rupture!
>
>When on your bike you're riding
>and then off your seat you're sliding
>then that crossbar you're astrid-ing
>with your testicles colliding
>by God, that's a rupture!

OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!
Those hurt! Please, no more!
-- 

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Mike Peterson  				peterson@mcs.anl.gov  (708)-252-5941   
Argonne National Laboratory   Argonne, Illinois 60439

"Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world
 is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding
 on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see."
						-Jack Handey 
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