From: idx009@cck.coventry.ac.uk (the Crisco Kid)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Hetero/bi/homophobia (Was: Lesbian denial)
Date: 30 Jul 92 17:31:40 GMT
Organization: Eris's Restaurant

In article <1992Jul30.140223.9149@amhux2.amherst.edu> twpierce@amhux1.amherst.edu (Tim Pierce) writes:
>In article <5495@m1.cs.man.ac.uk> dente@els.man.ac.uk (Colin Dente) writes:
>>If I'm completely honest, I
>>do still think that many monosexuals are somewhat short-sighted in
>>limiting themselves to one gender.
>First of all, remember that "monosexual" is a term whose usage is
>often hotly denounced by gay men and lesbians, especially in the
>context of a snippish comment like this one.  Secondly, it seems a
>touch ingenuous.  Do you think that bisexuals, for example, are being
>short-sighted for limiting themselves to sex with human beings?

Hmmmm... Tim, as far as I can see they can contest it till they're
blue in the teeth, but howthehell else can they be described?
non-bisexuals?  Kinsey-one-and-sixers?  *them*? :)  It may be a bit of
a jolt for the hitherto-never-the-twain folk, but they do form an
identifiable group (we've identified them), and we need (even if they
don't, or think they don't) some way of talking about them.  Until
someone comes up with a better word, monos they are, and monos they'll
stay, at least to me.  (Yes, this is a 'usage vs. prescription'
argument and should probably migrate to soc.bi.usage.english).

Short-sighted?  perhaps not, but limited, yes.  I'm happy to admit
that my sexual preferences (as far as partners are concerned) are
restricted to those things that have sentience and semiotic capability:
you find me an alien with both and I'll certainly consider sex with
he/she/it/them.  I've certainly considered sex with dolphins and
orcas, and I'd certainly not be averse to it, if they were so minded.

>>Please accept this for what it is - an honest statement of feelings,
>>and invitation to discuss them - not an attack on monosexuals, or an
>>invitation to flame.
>I think that the statement above is pretty hard to construe as not
>being an "attack on monosexuals."

I didn't construe it as such, Tim.  Hel's teeth: if Colin were going
to mount an assault on monos, I don't think he'd start out with their
terminological sensibilities.

>However, much as I'd like not to, I agree with you on the point about
>bisupremacist attitudes.  Sometimes I cannot make it to sundown in
>one emotional piece without saying to myself, "God, it's wonderful to
>be bi."  A single statement of anti-bi sentiment can be enough to
>throw me off for a weekend if it's strong enough.

I'd hate to have to try to make it to sundown without saying it to
myself.  I like to say to myself "Hey, Kay; never mind too much about
all the small faults you have that you can forgive so easily in others
and so barely in yourself - basically, you're an OK guy, and, even
if it mystifies you from time to time, people aren't wrong to like and
love you".  That's not me-supremacist; I don't think that I'm better
than everyone else, just that I'm happy enough to be me.  When I say
"It's wonderful to be bi" that's exactly what I mean.  No more, no
less.

>On GayNet recently I was in a discussion about bi pride and bi
>supremacy, and was debating about whether the statement "bi is better"
>is bi-supremacist or merely a statement of personal satisfaction.  At
>the time, I leaned toward the latter, but I must admit that such an
>unqualified statement implies that it might be better for everyone, a
>statement I don't intend to make.

As an unqualified statement it's meaningless: better than what, pray?
Comparisons are odious: "Bi is GREAT!"  That's enough for me.

>And yet I don't think I really CARE if I sound bi-supremacist at
>times; if you think it sounds haughty, tough.  I need to get through
>the day.

If you need occasional bursts of supremacism to get you there, do it,
Tim: survive first, apologise second.

		mad, bad, and in love with a mono
		Kay

-- 
6'2", dark short hair, blue eyes, bisexual and horny as ....
Kay Dekker, Dept of Industrial Design, Coventry University, Coventry UK
37 Old Winnings Road, Keresley Village, Coventry   |B0 f t+ g++ k++! s+ e r p!
Phone: +44 203 838668 (work) +44 203 337865 (home) |Deflowerer-of-innocents
Newsgroups: soc.bi