HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: scm@harvee.UUCP (S. Mudgett aka little gator)
Subject: new england pirana
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Date: 22 Jul 92 09:52:42 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: gators 'r us
X-Version: Rodney's UUCP modules 02/11/90 V1.18

condensed from boston globe, northwest supplement, page 3, july 19, 1992:


a tewksbury angler(david lirikas) got a bigger nibble than he bargained for
 when he hooked a flesh-eating pirana at a north reading pond.

...the foot-long fish...which a local pet store confirmed was a pirana, wieghed
about a pound and a half.

the artlicle also said two pacus(a "benign seed-eating south american
cousin of the pirana" had been found recently, one in fall river, another
in webster lake.

--
-- little gator aka S. Mudgett     email: scm@harvee.uucp
-- friend of a gator is a friend of mine
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: mprc@troi.cc.rochester.edu (M. Price)
Subject: Re: Do the Hokey-Pokey
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 18:46:45 GMT

Obviuosly you mean the Hokey-Cokey. Honestly--Americans!

                                                   MP
From: jtchew@csa3.lbl.gov (JOSEPH T CHEW)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Choking Burglar
Date: 31 Jul 92 20:40:54 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory - Berkeley, CA, USA
Reply-To: jtchew@csa3.lbl.gov
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.254.198
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.3-4   

>A thief broke into a local deli during the night.  Apparently he was so
>hungry he started grabbing food and stuffing it in his mouth.  He pretty
>much trashed the joint, going from one food item to the next in a ravenous
>fashion.  While he was trying to snarf it down, something got stuck in his
>throat.  He couldn't get it out so he ended up calling 911.  The police
>came, rescued him and promtly arrested him.  Talk about some bad luck.

It would be interesting to hear the 911 tapes.  It's sort of axiomatic
(or so they teach you in CPR class) that someone who can talk doesn't
have a fully obstructed airway.  He might have got himself arrested
needlessly.  (Then again, maybe he saved his own life by calling...)

>A thief tried to break into a restaurant by slipping through the ventilation
>system.  For some reason unknown to me, he removed his clothing to make it
>easier to get through.  He tried to "shinny in the skinny" as the radio
>announcer put it.  Well the unfortunate slob ended up getting stuck and had
>to remain there until the next morning when the police could rescue him and
>arrest him.

The ventilation-system part is not implausible.  Burglars try to get in
through chimneys and ventilation systems from time to time.  (You Trekkies
will note that this is also sort of a canonical scheme for getting where
you aren't supposed to be aboard the Enterprise, even for people of Capt.
James T. Girth's physique. But I digress.) Sometimes the burglars get 
stuck, which generally results in either arrest or any of several
grisly modes of expiration.  (As opposed to grizzly modes of expiration,
which is another thread.) The particular incident, and the nakedness, I 
don't know about.  

Joe "Lucky for him the house wasn't infested with gerbils" Chew
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Date: 22 Jul 92 18:30:11 GMT
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University

In article <1992Jul22.161748.9817@nsscmail.att.com> cel@nsscmail.att.com (clayton EDward LEIHY iii) writes:
>
>What you need to do is go to Roy Rogers, get your (cheese)burger/chicken/etc.
>then take it right over to Roy's Fixins Bar.
>Load on your lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, all kinds of sauces -- no
>extra charge (it's probably built in to everybody's price).
>
>I've occasionally loaded by sandwich up with enough veggies to have a
>small garden salad along with my burger; just pile it on top, then close
>the wrapper over it and go sit somewhere and eat it.
>
>Ed ("Can I have a fork for my hamburger?") Leihy

I especially like their pickles and horseradish sauce.  I take about 200
slices over to the table over my roastbeef sandwich along with about 4
of those little containers of horseradish sauce.  I also take about 8-10
of them home with me since they provide those little covers for them.  (It's
a take-out fixins bar too!)

cjl
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: peterd@cc.mcgill.ca (Peter Deutsch)
Subject: Re: offensive phrases ("Rule of Thumb")
Organization: Bunyip Information Systems (the archie people)
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 04:52:42 GMT

In article <BrFqwE.70M@world.std.com> lmh@world.std.com (Larry M Headlund) writes:
.  .  .
>	However,  when the OED says the origin is unknown,  it means there
>is no clear origin,  not that they haven't heard all the stories.  Nailing
>down the thumb rule would be a major effort (if possible) and earn you a
>referred publication.

Yes, nailing down _my_ thumb would certainly require a
major effort, since I would fight like the dickens. Last
time I let someone do that to me I couldn't type for
weeks, and I still have bloodstains on my keyboard.
Nosireebob, nobody nails down _my_ thumb again - that's
_my_ rule...



   Peter "Hey, what's that!?!? <BAM!BAM!BAM!>
          <OUCH!> AWWW, NOT AGAIN?!?!?" Deutsch


----------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear Dan Quayl sing 'Old MacDonald' ?

Old MacDonald had a farm, e i e i o       e
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Chelsea Clinton Fan Club
Keywords: continental drift, get me?
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 02:49:43 GMT

In article <Brpx9z.1H5@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG> phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG (Phil Gustafson) writes:
>>Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu> 
>>Member of the Chelsea Clinton Fan Club  
>
>I get the feeling that she's going to be rather a babe in a few years.

Well, let's hope those braces work.  She'll be legal sometime in
Bill's second term.  (Assuming, of course, that Kibo doesn't have
a bodacious female relative to unleash upon the unsuspecting voting
public to take the country by storm.  Look out for the flashing red
light on the Hancock Tower!  Woo! Woo!)

ObUL: "Oh! Wise guy, eh?" was a phrase that Curly Howard developed for
      the three stooges by listening to Larry achieve orgasm.
-- 
                      ....................................
                      ted frank | thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
                      the university of chicago law school 
                      official member of the cultural elit
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf)
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Organization: /home/ludviga/cindy/.organization
	<1992Jul21.044842.3864@news.eng.convex.com>
Date: 21 Jul 92 21:58:48

>>Or all meat products commercials that say "is 93% fat free" which
merely means
>>that the rest is totally fat

>That one struck me long ago, but most of the numbers actually still
don't
>work out that bad -- 7% fat isn't all that bad compared to some
things,
>like 'hot dogs' (shudder) or good, hot Italian sausage (sigh).

Even worse are the products that advertise they have "30% less fat
than our regular product" or something similar - without mentioning
how much fat is in them.  It's usually a lot.

Case in point:  Oscar Mayer "Light" Bologna.  1/3 less fat than
regular.  But the regular stuff is 30% fat by weight, considerably
more by calories.  This means the "light" stuff checks in at 20%.
But the moms and dads who buy the stuff are probably convinced they're
feeding them something healthy.  

To make matters worse, the summer that stuff came out i was working
at a deli.  Behind the counter we had bologna from a company called
Jack and Jill that was "90% fat free" - that is, 10% fat by weight.
But that wasn't marked "light", so parents thought the Oscar Mayer
stuff was better.  Sheesh.  (There was a little sign that said "90%
fat free" on the display side of the case, but most people didn't
check how much fat the pre-packaged stuff had.)

Another case in point:  "Light" or "Lite" potato chips.  They're still
something that should be eaten in moderation, but how many people use
the fact that they are called "light" as an excuse to pig out?

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondhjem, Norway



Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson)
Subject: META-urban-legend? (Re: Ed Nilges and Snuff Films?)
Reply-To: lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson)
Organization: ACUSON, Mountain View, CA
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 16:11:46 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.183223.1831@cs.yale.edu> smith-jeff@CS.YALE.EDU (Jeff Smith) writes:
>
>My God!  Could it be?  The world's first META-urban-legend?  An urban
>legend ABOUT urban legends?  Send this to Brunvand.

Why tell him.  He knows all about it.  In fact, urban legends do not
exist.  It is all a plot started by Brunvand to sell books.

-- 
Drew Lawson                      If you're not part of the solution,
lawson@acuson.com                you're part of the precipitate
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,comp.dcom.modems
From: jackb@mdd.comm.mot.com (Jack Brindle)
Subject: Re: Modem tax back
Organization: Motorola, Mobile Data Division - Seattle, WA
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 16:59:03 GMT

In article <1992Jul20.191903.7530@acuson.com> lawson@aldia.UUCP (Drew Lawson) writes:
>In article <1992Jul18.061630.25536@bang.uucp> bam%bang@trout.nosc.mil writes:
>
>>MEMBERS URGED TO FIGHT "MODEM FEE"
>>
>>  (16-Jul-92)
    ^^^^^^^^^^^  Looks like a date to me...

>>  A commissioner with the U.S. Federal Communications Commission (FCC) recently
>									^^^^^^^^
>
>Oh, the trouble that could be saved if people would bother to put DATES
>in these things when they create them.  At least it makes it easier to
>detect bad data.

The article appeared on Compuserve within the last week or so. According
to the article and other info on that system, the FCC is thinking about
it AGAIN. They went on to urge subscribers to AGAIN write their
congressmen. The article also referred to the earlier attempt and discussed
why it was abandoned and what is needed to cause that to happen again.

Oh the trouble that could be saved if people would bother to READ things
before they flame on them...

Jack Brindle
ham radio: wa4fib
internet: jackb@mdd.comm.mot.com

-- 
==========================================================
Jack Brindle
ham radio: wa4fib
internet: jackb@mdd.comm.mot.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: SHOCKING STORIES
From: mcirvin@husc10.harvard.edu (Mcirvin)
Date: 29 Jul 92 20:00:57 GMT
 u><1992Jul23.161511.10643@news.cs.brandeis.edu><1992Jul24.152007.250153@locus.
 com><1992Jul27.211509.29749@odin.corp.sgi.com> <RGM.92Jul29021817@cory.Berkeley.EDU>

rgm@cory.Berkeley.EDU (Rob Menke) writes:

>In article <1992Jul27.211509.29749@odin.corp.sgi.com>
>adams@chuck.dallas.sgi.com (Chuck Adams) writes:
>>[story about someone being cooked by a radar antenna]

>Is it just me, or does this sound remarkably like a tale about a young
>girl going to a lot of tanning booths in one day?  Maybe this story
>got "civvified" into the modern form...

I heard it told about Eskimos camping in front of an early-warning
radar in Alaska because it gave them a nice sensation of warmth,
only to start dying, broiled in high UL fashion.  The book in
which I read it labeled the story "probably apocryphal," an
earlier version of "UL."  But, as often happens in this newsgroup,
I cannot remember what book it was.  It may well indeed be older
than the tanning-booth version.  The radar version does make
marginally more sense.
 
-- 
Matt McIrvin  mcirvin@husc.harvard.edu 
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 18:24:27 GMT

phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG (Phil Gustafson) writes:
: In article <1992Jul23.202908.27187@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com> billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson) writes:
:  [references mangled]
: >: >10 MHz is 1E7 So in each clock period light goes 3E3 m.
: >: 
: >: >However electrons are going to move rather slower
: >: 
: >: Yeah, < 1 mm/s.
: >
: >It is really that slow? In coax, the propogation rate is usually greater
: >than .6. --  30 x .6 is 18 m/cycle.  I don't think the propogation rate
: >in even micro-traces gets below about .3.
: 
: In a coax or on a backplane the _signal_ moves at about 0.6 C, as Bill
: says.  But the signal is a disturbance among the electrons, not a
: motion of the electrons themselves.
: 
: It's extremely fortunate for all of us that we can get electricity from
: one place to another without dealing with electrons moving at nearly the
: speed of light.

Ah, so. Kind of like a water drop in the ocean. The waves, which carry all
the energy, simply move the drop around a small amount.

However, how does this explain an electrical arc?

Bill
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: ssnyder@sunai.er.usgs.gov (Steve Snyder)
Subject: Re: Bear eats child's face
Organization: Why?
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 13:27:12 GMT

In article <13080052@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> jeffa@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Jeff Alley) writes:
>
>Supposedly there was a family that was traveling through Yellowstone park
>and they had a young child with them.  Several people were stopped feeding
>the bears along a road. The father of the child wanted to get a picture
>of his kid with a bear. He wanted a special picture so he got the brilliant
>idea that if he smeared honey on the kid's cheek, the bear would come up
>and lick it off and he'd get a great picture of a bear licking his son's
>face. The bear had other idea though, and bit instead of licked and the
>child lost a good portion of the side of his face.
>
I heard a version of this where a father wanted to get a picture of
his child sitting on a grizzly's back. You know the rest.

I also heard a similar story about a man who thought it be neat to get a
picture of a grizzly in the driver's seat of his car, with his wife in
the passenger seat. So he somehow lured the bear into the car (can't 
remember the food he used), the bear ate the food and proceeded to maul
his wife.

Steve
From: reb@Ingres.COM (Phydeaux)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: catching bullets with the teeth
Date: 30 Jul 92 19:04:22 GMT
Reply-To: reb@Ingres.COM (Phydeaux)
Organization: E 4th St Home For The Overeducated Underemployed - Chicago Div.

In article <1992Jul30.001609.7506@zip.eecs.umich.edu> stame@emunix.emich.edu (Stewart Tame) writes:
>In article <1992Jul29.211347.2741@crd.ge.com> salantel@wsqtb9.crd.ge.com writes:
>>I heard from coworkers, that on tv they showed a man who could 
>>catch a bullet fired from a gun with his teeth.  Supposedly the
>>gun was statically mounted and carefully aimed, and the bullet 
>>would pass through things like a piece of paper or a glass pane
>Hmmmmm . . . the bullet catch is a standard of magic.  Quite a number
>of magicians have died from things going wrong with it, most notable
>among them perhaps was Chung Ling Soo.  I've seen one magician actually

A magician  friend named Ben  Robinson actually performed   this trick
*once*.  He did it  on Houdini's grave.  He  lost a few teeth, and was
arrested (I forget the charge).  The  police tried to find  the person
who fired the gun so they could  charge him with attempted murder, but
nobody would say who the triggerman was.  He wrote a book (long out of
print) about it.
			reb
From: kristyp@coos.dartmouth.edu (Kristy Patterson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Chelsea Clinton Fan Club
Date: 23 Jul 92 13:41:04 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH

In article <9207221448.AA03400@mailbox.mail.umn.edu> sbarnhar@MAILBOX.MAIL.UMN.EDU (Dr. Barnhart) writes:
>In article <1992Jul22.81235.5843@ms.uky.edu>, fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis)
>wrote:
>
>> >Well, let's hope those braces work.  She'll be legal sometime in
>> >Bill's second term.  

>I dunno, I thought Al Gore's daughters were much more attactive, although
>in
>a kind of cliched way.  I had real issues with Chelsea's butt-ugly dress.
>Who does she think she is, a walking Degas painting? [we're talking DNC
>acceptance speech night here]

Seriously! Those with red hair should NOT wear lavendar headbands with a
matching dress and white polka-dots on national TV!  Her dress clashed with
her hair.

But at least she had big hair; Gore's daughters had really FLAT hair.
Get a wave - it's national TV!  At least do something with it...

Tipper looked huge in her dress.

Kristy "okay, so I'm feeling a little catty this morning" Patterson

>Shawn Barnhart ! sbarnhar@mailbox.mail.umn.edu
>Phenylketonurics:  This product contains phenylalanine.


-- 
 +================+===========================================================+
 |Kristy Patterson|They say a man who represents himself in a court of law has|
 |    FIEYRNT     |a fool for a client. As God is my witness, I AM THAT FOOL! |
 +================+==============================================-Gomez Adams=+
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: st890270@pip.cc.brandeis.edu (LUCIFER)
Subject: Re: Left - Right
Reply-To: st890270@pip.cc.brandeis.edu
Organization: Brandeis University
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 16:32:00 GMT

RE: running track counterclockwise:

could it be a psychological thing - ie your right side is more developed,
dexterity and strength wise, so you feel more comfortable presenting it
to the outside than your left?
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: paul@xcluud.sccsi.com (Paul Hutmacher)
Subject: Re: queen
Organization: Greater Montrose UFO Appreciation Society & Data Haven
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 03:12:47 GMT

In article <1992Jul26.012228.11128@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:
>
>My dad told me he read this one in a newspaper (yeah, right):
>
>	The leader of some small third world commonwealth country
>is visiting England.  He and the queen go for a carriage ride.
>The horse lets a nasty fart, and the queen says "Oh, I'm so
>sorry".  The third world leader supposedly said  "If you hadn't
>said anything, I would have assumed the horse did it."

Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners describes something similar but it 
was the queen and not the horse that, uh, flatulated.

-- 
"There is nothing to history.  No progress,          | Paul Hutmacher 
 no justice. There is nothing but random horror."    | Houston, Texas
"Jupiter" in _The Difference Engine_ Gibson/Sterling | paul@xcluud.sccsi.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: hawley@adobe.com (Steve Hawley)
Subject: Re: Anyone heard this one? New UL?
Organization: Adobe Systems Incorporated
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 17:20:21 GMT

In article <1992Jul23.114916.16143@midway.uchicago.edu> thf2@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>	F. Ambulance comes and drops the stretcher with the plumber.

And just to clear up any possible confusion over this one, the goal of an
ambulance crew is to prevent further injury rather than inflicting more.
To this end, there is a LOT of effort to avoid dropping the patient.  For
example, traditional stretchers (two poles with  canvas stretcher between
them) are _NEVER_ used unless there is NOTHING else.  In fact, the crew
I worked with didn't even have a traditional stretcher on the ambulance,
and given the choice, we'd be more likely to pull a door from its frame
and use that because it provides better back support and is easier to
strap a patient down to it.

For most cases, a gurney is used which is rolled, not carried, therefore
it can't be dropped and the patient is SECURLY strapped in.

Oh, I'm sorry; did I inject some facts into this group?

Steve Hawley
hawley@adobe.com
-- 
"Did you know that a cow was *MURDERED* to make that jacket?"
"Yes.    I didn't think there were any witnesses, so I guess I'll have to kill
 you too." -Jake Johansen
Organization: Junior, Electrical and Computer Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 12:58:47 -0400 
From: Christopher Patrick Nelson <cn0m+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Right-Left

dvand@ctp.com (Derek Vandivere) writes:
> ... it is indeed legal to turn left on red after stop in
> Massachusetts (or at least in Boston).
...
> Caveat - It's only legal if you're turning from one one-way street
> to another.  And everyone gets really pissed if you turn the felt
> things on the curb the other way around.

In Oregon you may make a left turn on red from a two-way street onto a
one-way street.  Sounds strange to me too, but my friend (better 'n a
FOAF) says he got this one wrong on his driving test because he said
it had to be one-way to one-way.

I'll look it up personally in his driving manual when next I see him.

<cpn
-- Fuzball Maniac
From: olsen@xn.ll.mit.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Modem tax back
Date: 27 Jul 92 21:09:37 GMT
Organization: MIT Lincoln Laboratory, Lexington, MA


scott@nv10.uswnvg.com (Scott Eckelman) writes:

>But why should a customer who only uses the phone 10 minutes a day
>subsidize other customers who are using their modem 2 hours a night?

  Question: If I use my modem two hours a night, how much does it cost
            the phone company?

  Answer:   Nothing.  Zero.  Zip.  Zilch.  Nada.  A big, fat goose egg.

This is because off-peak calling has no impact on the phone company's
requirement for switching equipment.  Their costs are exactly the same
whether I make the nightly two-hour modem call or not.

In fact, if the ten-minute caller makes his calls during the peak
usage times, his calls _do_ increase the telco's expenses, and it's
the _modem_ caller who's subsidizing the _voice_ caller!

>The answer, in my opinion, is to do away with flat-rate pricing, and
>go to a strictly usage-based one.

The real reason that some local telephone companies are pushing
measured service is that measured service makes it much easier to
overcharge the callers (like our hypothetical modem caller), and
generate monopoly profits.  These profits can then be siphoned off to
the telco's unregulated subsidiaries, fooling the regulators and
leaving the public holding the bag.

Unfortunately, the FCC has already imposed measured-only service for
the local portion of long-distance voice calls.  The 'modem tax' seeks
to extend this to modem callers.  It's wrong for voice, and it's wrong
for modems too.
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:20101 alt.folklore.science:2842
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.science
Subject: Microwaved cat explodes
From: ecmtwhk@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz (Thomas Koenig)
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 10:01:47 GMT
Organization: University of Auckland, New Zealand.

The following story was told to me by a friend, who said she knew the person
who had done it.

A man put a cat into microwave to dry; when taken out, the cat was
curiously stiff, and when he set it down, it exploded.

Rationale: With a microwave, it is possible to superheat water to a much
greater degree than with normal heating, because the heating is done
in the body of the water, with no hot spots at the walls of the vessel.
When this vessel is shaken or otherwise disturbed (a handfull of sand
thrown in will do very nicely), the equilibrum state for the amount of
energy in the glass is reached rather quickly; this is a mixture of water
and steam.  The large volume of the steam throws out most of the water, 
incdentally scalding anyone foolish enough to be in the vicinity. The
maximum temperature reached can be up to 130 degrees C; that drops down
to 100 as soon as the steam is generated. There was an article about
this in Scientific American a few years ago.

Is it possible for the water in a cat's body to reach this degree of
superheat? Would the non - water components tend to let boiling
set in earlier or later? I dunno...
-- 
Thomas Koenig, ecmtwhk@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz, ib09@rz.uni-karlsruhe.de
The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double logarithmic
diagram.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban