HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: -Unknown-@mailbox.bison.mb.ca (-Unknown-)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: RE: FAQ list
Date: 25 Sep 92 03:00:55 CST

Organization: Clark University

In a previous article, jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) wrote:
>jsarna@vax.clarku.edu leads the witness:
> 
>>In a previous article, jwlr@gauguin.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) wrote:
>>>blkhorse@maico.ksu.ksu.edu (James F Taylor) wonders out loud:
>>>>In article <1992Sep22.162142.23698@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>, jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) writes:
>>>>>james@pfbs.philips.se (James Pool) writes:
>>>>>>kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT) writes:
>>>>>>: 
>>>>>>Question 1		Is Vic there ?
>>>>>Question 2		Is your refrigerator running?
>>>>Question 54 oops 3      How does Anne Elk's (not an elk) Brontasaurus theory
>>>>                        affect SPAM farming in the Congo?  
>   Question 3b		Whose theory is it?
>>>Question 4		There is NO QUESTION 4!!!
>>>Question 6		What are the odds that I am an infinite number of
>>>			monkeys typing for an infinite number of hours?
>>>Question 7		How?
>>>Question 8		Why didn't you include 'Question 5'?
>>>Question 9		Lemon Curry?
>>>Question 10		Why did you say 'Good Morning'?
>>>Question 11		What are you doing with that nectari...URRGH! <thump>
>> Question 12            Would you like a 16 ton weight dropped on top of
>>			_you_,Eric?
>> Question 13		Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
>> Question 14		Do you want to come back to my place?
>                                                              Bouncy, bouncy?
>> Question 15		Do you want to come upstairs...or have you come
>>			to arrange a holiday?
>  Question 16		What's that penguin doing on the telly?
>  Question 17a		What is your name?
>  Question 17b		What is your quest?
>  Question 17ci		What is your favorite color?
>  Question 17cii	What is the air-speed velocity of a sparrow?
>  Question 18		Could somebody post the script for ****** ?
>  Question 19		Is your name not Bruce, then?
>  Question 20		Are you insinuating something?
   Question 21		Can we borrow your head for a piece of animation?
   Question 22		Did those feet in ancient times walk upon England's
			mountains green?
   Question 23		Did somebody here say "mattress"?
   Question 24		What do we mean when we talk about things?
   Question 24a		What do I mean by the word "mean"?
   Question 24b		What do I mean by the word "word"?
   Question 24c		What do I mean by "what do I mean"?
   Question 24d         What do I mean by wasting your time like this?
	

 * Origin: The Electronic Mailbox (1:348/7.0)
From: jwlr@monet.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: St. Jester's Day
Keywords: Jester is my hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 5 Oct 92 15:44:41 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jolly Jestie) flicks the lights on and off to fool the neighbors into thinking nobody's home:
>jwlr@escher.cc.rochester.edu (Wet Willie) wankels his rotatry engine:
>}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Serjet) walks around and around in very small circles muttering to himself:
>}>jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (JW) coughs up phlegm:
>}>}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jestie) goes on and on about tea and how they don't make it properly here, do they:
>}>}>jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (Jamie) enjoys being cut up into little pieces:
>}>}>}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) vents his righteous fury:
>}>}>}>jwlr@gauguin.cc.rochester.edu (Dead Meat!!!!) insults me one last time:
>}>}>}>}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (St. Jester) flies off the handle all too easily:
>}>}>}>}>well. then..i proclaim today September 23, St. Jester's day.
>}>}>}>}>you now must all go out and give gag gifts to strange people
>}>}>}>}>on the street......
>}>}>}>}How about if I just gag people and strangle gifts?
>}>}>}>that would look bad towards the general populace and
>}>}>}>give me a bad name..so don't!!!
>}>}>}Oh? I thought you already *had* a bad name...
>}>}>well bring that little fact into account....
>}>}>look....i have had it iwht you..time to 
>}>}>call in the heavy artillery.......MOM!!!!
>}>}Quit calling me that! I hate being called that!
>}>well then don't whip me so hard and force-feed my lima beans.
>}Right. From now on I whip you soft and force-feed you llama beans.
>no..not llamas...plese help me..thats sheer torture...the pain the agony

Que?

>}>}>}>}>}.Chris squig All well and good. . .
>}>}>}>}>}Dan squig Lets build him cathedral!  I'll post the plans if there is intrest!
>}>}>}>}>St. Jester squig look...I'd like to approve these b4 you post them....
>}>}>}>}Jamesa <=== Oh, so you *do* want to be the editor, then??
>}>}>}>Editor Jester squig yes...now lets see, what i can fix in this post.
>}>}>}Jamus allies Nothing! My posts ar alwus prefect!!
>}>}>Editor Jester squig and where did you learn to spell????
>}>}James fnork I bin too collej!
>}>Editor Jester squig which one?? it desperately needs to be burned down.
>}Jamesa <=== Our Lady of St. Looney's on the Creambun and Jam Institute
>}	of Institutional Intuitive Tuition.
>Jester hedge-clippers some looney uni there......
Same J allies yes, and over here, too, also, as well!
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: Hello?????
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 01:32:43 GMT

>Organization: Computer Centre, Monash University, Australia
>
>Hey Ratboy, where are you?

BONG!

"start again..."

*clown waves*
From: s342063@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: blow on the 'ead.
Date: 5 Oct 92 09:12:12 GMT

- I'm offering you a dagger up the clitoris...

- oooooooo, I haven't had one up there before.....no, I'll have the blow on the
  head.

Now, Mrs. Scum.......for the blow on the head..............

Kezzle.
From: jwlr@escher.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Get the comfy chair !
Date: 2 Oct 92 18:11:57 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

>> **********************************************************************
>>* The views expressed in this article do not reflect the views of any  *
>>* organisation or person except my own.                                *
>>*                                                                      *
>>* "Did I ask too much, more than a lot?,                               *
>>* You gave me nothing, now that's all that I've got"  U2               *
>> **********************************************************************

>Hmmm. The U2 quote seems rather relevent to this posting, I believe.

>Ratboy aka has nothing to say.
James <=== same here
From: sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: St. Jester
Date: 30 Sep 92 23:49:58 GMT
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin


>>>>>}>}>}>>p.s.  I have never kissed the editor of alt.fan.monty-python
>>>>>}>}>}>Silly person.  There *is* no editor of alt.fan.monty.python!  Unless
>>>>>}>}>}>count Jester, of course...
>>>>>}>}>}I object!  Jester is certainly not the editor!  There *is* no editor,
>>>>>}>}>}oh misguided one.  Jester is our patron saint.
>>>>>}>}>well. then..i proclaim today September 23, St. Jester's day.
>>>>>}>}>you now must all go out and give gag gifts to strange people
>>>>>}>}>on the street......
>>>>>}>}How about if I just gag people and strangle gifts?
>>>>>}>that would look bad towards the general populace and
>>>>>}>give me a bad name..so don't!!!
>>>>>}Well I could just give you this balm. <chomp> <chomp> <chomp>
>>>>>well sh*t simon..get nasty and bloodthirsty on me....
>>>If simon is bloodthirsty, does that also mean that
>>>he is nasty?  I just don't follow your line
>>>of thinking, young man!  Do you have a license to
>>>use these nonlinear progressions?  Hmmm?
>>Um... I don't have a licence, but I DO have this 'ere CHAINSAW!!!!!!
>'Allo, Miss.  'Ave you got a license for 'at chainsawr??
Nope. You wanna argue with me?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <thump>
<rollrollrollroll> <KICK!> <splat>
Obviously not.
(And take your nose off my shoe.)

>>>>>}>}>}.Chris squig All well and good. . .
>>>>>}>}>}Dan squig Lets build him cathedral!  post the plans if there intres
>>>>>}>}>St. Jester squig look...I'd like to approve these b4 you post them....
>>>>>}>}Jamesa <=== Oh, so you *do* want to be the editor, then??
>>>>>}>Editor Jester squig yes...now lets see, what i can fix in this post.
>>>>>}Um... James?
>>>>>I fixed the post so well,  that I deleted poor james....
>>>Oh shame, Oh shame!!!!
>>No it's not. He deserved it.
>I'm baaaa-aaack!
Your back? 
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <scrape>
<sewsewsewsew> <pin> 
That... wot a lovely cloak. Thank you.

>>>>>Chris aka OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoh cheeky devil!!!
>>>><deep, meaningful, thought-provoking penmanship fed to my battery llama>
>>>You have a battery powered llama?
>>>You must be the envy of every housewife.
>>>Dave smurf I had a llama named peter once.
>>Well that was stipud now, wasn't it.

>>What? Oh sorry. This is argument. You want abuse down the hall.
>><slam>
>No I don't.
Well do you want your fingers then? I caught them in the door when I
slammed it.

mnSio... the Regurgitated Guts of a.f.m-p
From: lawrence@ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: MPFC GIFS
Date: 1 Oct 92 14:15:30 GMT
Reply-To: lawrence@olympus.ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

Does anyone know if there are any Monty Python gifs anywhere on this or
any other net? It occurred to me this morning that there might be but
I'm in the initial stages of familiarizing myself with who's who and
what's what. (as opposed to what's all this then?)
Is there a FAQ for MPFC gifs? What do I mean by gifs? What do I mean
by mean? What do I mean by what do I mean? Of CHRIST! The tiger's
escaped! Arrrgh!

					Mrs. B.J. Smegma
					3, The Rottenpanties
					Bayswater, SW1
					(say you're from the IPCS)
From: MDSQC@CUNYVM.BITNET
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Long Text File
Date: 25 Sep 92 22:43:48 GMT
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center

[Carloads of material deleted, brought to trial and court marshalled]

My only question for you, Jester, is why? And (ok, two questions), how?
and (ok, three basic questions), where?

Just wanted to now.

-- Sal aka I like akas. they're easier to type, take up less room,
           have better letters, and fumph.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney)
Subject: Re: different
Keywords: nose - no, stout, tape recorder
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 18:07:04 GMT


>->>->>And now for something completly different.  A man with a tape recorder up
>->>->>his nose.
>->>->>
>->>->No, wait. It's a man with a stout through his head.
>->Stout? Great! I'll have a guinness please. Now.. what do I pull to
>->get the drink out?
>Ermm...... sounds too difficult, but if you manage it send one across the
>water to us here.. :-)
Um.. I would. Except I don't think I could manage to see one go.
I know. I'll pull it first, send it over, and it might even have
settled by the time it gets to you!!!
>->
>->>Sure it is not a man with three buttocks..
>->Oooh. We've got one of the at WWWC.
>Aha.....now that is very silly..
Oh yeah? Well you should see the man with three...
>->>->
>->>->
>->>->eric
>->>Pag aka (completely illegal of course) No I am not..
>->Are you or have you ever been?
>Well I am not sure....... you tell me, please tell me, Oh go on tell
>me..
No, tell us master, we were here first!
>->
>->mNSi..o?kajsh
>Pag aka the man with a tape recorder up his friends nose...
mNDioodsf kakakak La Marseilles thing...sldkfj?
From: lawrence@ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Scottishness
Date: 28 Sep 92 14:39:14 GMT
Reply-To: lawrence@olympus.ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

Mind you, Harold Potter always did watch Dr. Finlay on television.
Well, you see, Scottishness starts with little things like that, and works up.
You see, people don't just turn into a Scotsman for no reason at all ...

And besides, it's your affair if you want to play with five people, just don't
go calling it doubles! Look at Wimbledon, right? If Fred Stolle and TOny Roche
played Charlie Pasarell and Cliff Drysdale and Peaches Bartcowitz, the wouldn't
go calling it doubles!

But what about the blancmange?

That could play Ann Haydon-Jones and her husband Pip.

						Having a coronary,
						Mr. SpindleyLegs
						5th row along,
						The Ganglies,
						East Penis, The Howards.

P.S. I still haven't kissed the editor of the Radio Times.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: 00124961@ysub.ysu.edu
Subject: Re: The germans say:
Organization: Youngstown State University
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 23:20:16 GMT

In article <3503@dozo.and.nl>
jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
 
>
>In article <CPM.92Sep25165928@kottan.digtec.dtro.e-technik.th-darmstadt.de> cpm@digtec.dtro.e-technik.th-darmstadt.de (Claus Meder) writes:
>|
>|Ist hier nicht der Deutschunterricht?
>
>In das Flipperwald gespurt?
>
>|And DON'T aka me!
>
>Of course, we *aka*, won't (censored) you, you silly *aka* little *aka*
>old lady! We are *aka* far too civi *aka* lized to do such rev *aka* olting
>things. *aka* *aka* *aka*! <thud> Aaa
>                                     a
>
>                                      a
>
>
>                                      a
>
>
>
>                                      a
>
>
>                                      r
>
>
>                                      g
>
>
>                                      h
>                                      !
>
>                                     \,/
>                                      |
>                                     /O\
>Jos aka Once, I used to be a small *SPLAT*!
Chris aka And now you're all grown up into a very large "*SPLAT*?"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: morjens@lesti.hut.fi (Jens B von Weissenberg)
Subject: Re: M-P discography
Organization: Helsinki University of Technology, Finland
Distribution: alt.comedy.brittish
Date: 28 Sep 92 09:50:12


>   ..Morjens aka take a ride on your record player
>
>   Dan aka If it is owned you must pay owner TWICE the normal rent.  If
>	   it is unowned you may buy it from the bank.
>
Morjens aka What?! Go to jail. Go straight to jail without passing "go"!
            On this instant! Hear?
--
Rockette Morton takes off into the wind again!
-What do you run on, Rockette Morton?  (say beans)
-I run on beans  *blip!* I run on leisurebeams!
----------Morjens@vipunen.hut.fi------------------

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: MPFC GIFS
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 05:22:39 GMT

>>Does anyone know if there are any Monty Python gifs anywhere on this or
>>any other net? It occurred to me this morning that there might be but
>>I'm in the initial stages of familiarizing myself with who's who and
>>what's what. (as opposed to what's all this then?)
>>Is there a FAQ for MPFC gifs? What do I mean by gifs? What do I mean
>>by mean? What do I mean by what do I mean? Of CHRIST! The tiger's
>>escaped! Arrrgh!
>Quick!  Gather the Christians!!  Surround yourselves with 'em!
Right! Let's have a barbeque! Afterall...they *did* say "Jehovah"...

>>					Mrs. B.J. Smegma
>>					3, The Rottenpanties
>>					Bayswater, SW1
>>					(say you're from the IPCS)
>	Meetch (is lost),
>	42 Earth,
>	A solar system,
>	Somewhere on the Western arm of a Spiral Galaxy,
>	The universe (and still lost).

Ratboy,
His burrow,
Your wainscotting,
with sheep...and we have guns!
From: aproden@ac.dal.ca (Andrew P. Rodenhiser)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Naughty Language
Date: 28 Sep 92 14:16:13 GMT
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1992Sep28.080634.29097@DIALix.oz.au>, meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma) writes:
> jcb7@po.CWRU.Edu (Jeremy C. Bargen) blasphemes:
> 
>>Semprini.
> Meetch aka Ooooooooohhhh!  Erm.. GRUNTIES!
Andrew aka Wankel rotary engine!
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma)
Subject: Re: Complaint
Organization: DIALix Services, Perth, Western Australia
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 92 08:05:02 GMT

af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa M. Stanar) explains:

>In a previous article, aep@aber.ac.uk (Andrew Pagett) says:
>>	In article <1992Sep23.145952.1@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au> 
>>	s342063@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au did say :
>>
>>->
>>->
>>->I wish to register a complaint !
>>Ermmm.... Hello Miss......
>>->
>>->Kezzle.
>>Pag aka not a dead parrot called Lisa, Erik or anything else for that
>>        matter..
>Lisa aka I'm not a parrot..I'm a 'alibit
Meetch aka A wot ?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: FAQ list
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 07:21:06 GMT

>>>>>>>>Question 1		Is Vic there ?
>>>>>>>Question 2		Is your refrigerator running?
>>>>>>Question 54 oops 3      How does Anne Elk's (not an elk) Brontasaurus theory
>>>>>>                        affect SPAM farming in the Congo?  
>>>   Question 3b		Whose theory is it?
>>>>>Question 4		There is NO QUESTION 4!!!
>>>>>Question 6		What are the odds that I am an infinite number of
>>>>>			monkeys typing for an infinite number of hours?
>>>>>Question 7		How?
>>>>>Question 8		Why didn't you include 'Question 5'?
>>>>>Question 9		Lemon Curry?
>>>>>Question 10		Why did you say 'Good Morning'?
>>>>>Question 11		What are you doing with that nectari...URRGH! <thump>
>>>> Question 12            Would you like a 16 ton weight dropped on top of
>>>>			_you_,Eric?
>>>> Question 13		Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
>>>> Question 14		Do you want to come back to my place?
>>>                                                              Bouncy, bouncy?
>>>> Question 15		Do you want to come upstairs...or have you come
>>>>			to arrange a holiday?
>>>  Question 16		What's that penguin doing on the telly?
>>>  Question 17a		What is your name?
>>>  Question 17b		What is your quest?
>>>  Question 17ci		What is your favorite color?
>>>  Question 17cii	What is the air-speed velocity of a sparrow?
>>>  Question 18		Could somebody post the script for ****** ?
>>>  Question 19		Is your name not Bruce, then?
>>>  Question 20		Are you insinuating something?
>>   Question 21		Can we borrow your head for a piece of animation?
>>   Question 22		Did those feet in ancient times walk upon England's
>>			mountains green?
>>   Question 23		Did somebody here say "mattress"?
>>   Question 24		What do we mean when we talk about things?
>>   Question 24a		What do I mean by the word "mean"?
>>   Question 24b		What do I mean by the word "word"?
>>   Question 24c		What do I mean by "what do I mean"?
>>   Question 24d         What do I mean by wasting your time like this?
>    Question 25         What does "aka" stand for?
>    Question 26         Que?
>    Question 27         Is the Third Test in here?
>    Question 28         Dinsdale?
>    Question 29         What's all this then?
>    Question 30         You mean poo-poos?
>    Question 31         Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now?
>    Question 32         What do penguins eat?
>    Question 32a            Henri Bergson?
>    Question 33         Is your wife a....a goer?
     Question 35         What? What's that a chicken up there?
>Ratboy (Mrs.)
Ratboy (again)
From: 00124961@ysub.ysu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: I'm baaack.
Date: 28 Sep 92 23:09:11 GMT
Organization: Youngstown State University

In article <1992Sep26.235558.7241@tamsun.tamu.edu>
mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver) writes:
 
>
>>>I made it back. I have 460 articles to read, and I'll probably end up reading
>>>every single one of them. And that's just in this group. What fun! I had a
>>>good time, and am currently sitting over a deep pit in the earth. My physics
>>>book has a question relating to a pendulum over the pits of hell. A sense of
>>>humor, yes. have a delightful day.
>>>
>>>-- Sal a-a I haven't recieved my license to aka yet. I'm not 25 yet.
>>Chris aka Great!  I'll put the oven on!
>Ratboy aka Wait! I gotta get out first. I'm done...NEXT!
>Chris aka AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH Not *ANOTHER* one returning!!!!!!!!!!!!
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: djoiner@lonestar.utsa.edu (David A. Joiner)
Subject: Re: Eeek! It's a rat tart!
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 02:05:35 GMT

In article <1992Sep26.235436.7035@tamsun.tamu.edu> mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver) writes:
>What's all this then?
>
>It's Ratboy! Am I back? I believe I am...
I believe not!  How dare you be back when we were having
so much fun in your absence. BEGONE with you.
Depart thyself to the land of the red-
headed Peg monsters, so I can watch my TV
in peace.
>
>And now for something not too different but I've been gone a while and it's a
>little different to me, you see..
>
>Ratboy aka Bally Jerry ...banged my kite right in the how's-your-father...
Dave smurf He's much better, now that the operation's over

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: sieferme@milton.u.washington.edu (Eric Sieferman)
Subject: Re: The Last Word on "Potatoe".
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 16:11:45 GMT

In article <1992Oct6.084120.11765@mv.mv.com> mem@mv.mv.com (Mark E. Mallett) writes:
>
>Yes, there is a big difference.  In the one case, there was a man who
>had been given the incorrect spelling on a card; in the other case, there
>was a published report, presumably with spelling checks and proofreaders.
>
>Which one is more excusable?
>

Huh?  I gave up flash cards in first grade (while attending
public school in Indiana).  This is the first time I've heard the
excuse that Our Boy was using a card to help spell "potatoe";
my prior favorite excuse was that Dan-o was under a lot
of "pressure" dealing with a bunch of little kids.
Too much competition, I suppose.

This reinforces the idea that DQ is the anti-intellectual heir
to Ronald "Any Idea Which Cannot Be Written On A 3x5 Card
Is Not Worth Thinking" Reagan, and explains his popularity
with Reagan's idolators.

>Mark E. Mallett  MV Communications, Inc./ PO Box 4963/ Manchester NH/ 03108
>Internet: mem@mv.MV.COM  ( uucp: ...{decvax|harvard}!mv!mem )

-- 
| Eric Sieferman            |    sieferme@u.washington.edu          |
| U. of W., M.C.I.S.        |    (206) 685-3104                     |

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: pat@sphinx.phys.Virginia.EDU (pat walsh)
Subject: Handicapping Gore (was Private vs Public)
Organization: University of Virginia Physics Department
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 17:54:44 GMT

Maddi Hausmann writes:

>So Dan-oe feels he is at a disadvantage in a debate with Gore because
>he [Dan-oe] went to public school, while Gore went to private schools.

>Is Dan-oe asking for a handicap?  We could spot him four questions and
>he'll still lose.  But remember, any advantage he gets also goes to
>Clinton, right?  After all, Bush went to Andover before he went to
>Yale.

>Another solution would be that Dan-oe will be allowed to write hints
>on his wrists and shoe soles, and gets a break every 15 minutes to
>read his notes in the men's room.

A good start, but I think it still favors Gore.  To make it even, we need
multiple handicaps.  How about if, in addition to BOTH of your proposals,
Gore has to hold his breath throughout the length of the debate?  One
continuous breath, that is -- no breaks for fresh air, or to answer
questions.   }8-|

- Patrick Walsh
  University of Virginia Department of Physics
  pw@virginia.bitnet, pw@virginia.edu, pat@gomez.phys.virginia.edu