From: merchant@davidsys.com (Rukhsana Merchant)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.pakistan
Subject: Re: Multiple wives
Date: 21 Aug 92 16:38:25 PST
Organization: DAVID Systems Inc, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Aug18.193619.1601@sol.cs.wmich.edu>, sherwani@sol.cs.wmich.edu (Naveed Sherwani) writes:
> In article <1992Aug18.101149.30461@davidsys.com>, merchant@davidsys.com (Rukhsana Merchant) writes:
>> 
>> 	The point of Islam allowing multiple wives is not an issue that
>> is debatable.  It is allowed and it is the sunnah of Prophet Muhammed (phuh)
>> and it is still valid today as it was fourteen centuries ago.  There are
>> reasons why it is permitted and the guidelines in Islam are for all
>> people and all time.  Those who disagree with the concept and call it
>> sexist and baised against women can choose not to practise it.  But when
>> people conclude to questioning the character of Prophet Muhammed (pbuh)
>> and theorizing that Islam deprives the rights of women, then, those
>> people haven't really understood what Islam has given to women.   
>> 
>  I agree that islam has done wonders, but it did not go FAR enough.
> I stopped short. Islam should have given equal rights to males
> and females, and it did'nt.

Yes, but it has given equality.  Just because the rights are not
identical for the sexes does not mean that equality does not exist.
> 
> I highly praise Islam for providing rights to females AT THAT TIME.
> Islam is only religion to explicitly do so. Mohd[phub] must have
> to face lot of opposition to implement this rule, but he did it.
> That was an incredible achievment. But not good enough!
> 
> Today, females want and should get equal rights, to make decisions
> about their life, their body, their marriages, etc. It is only fair.

Yes.  But they do have rights to make decisions about their life,
their bodies, and their marriages.

A woman has a right to choose to go into marriage with multiple wives
(as a choice).  She may see benefits that suit her.  If a husband chooses
to override her (to remain in a monogamous  marriage), without consideration
to her feelings (whether of not she has signed a clause before marriage),
then he has failed to observe one right, to exercise another right.
And she has the right to leave the marriage (whether or not she has
accepted a choice to have another wife enter into the marriage) at any
time.  It is up to her wali to protect her interest prior to her marriage,
but it her choice at any given time.  

And a man choosing to enter into a second marriage has obligations to
meet to the first wife before, during, and after the second marriage.
He has to be able to provide for both wives in wordly means as well
as emotional needs.

And I have had an opinion stated to me, that ussually after the second
marriage, it is very, very, rare that a third marriage is contracted.

A benefit (to a woman) in these modern times may be that a divorced
woman may not be able to find a suitable partner (since marriages
of eligible bachelors occur right after studies are completed)
and due to passing of time, eligibility of partners, etc., it may
be a choice that serves her well.  The society is much more forgiving
to a divorced male than a divorced female.  Also, I think there are
many benefits (for a woman) to have a second wife in the household.

I know that these are opinions, but when people cite things such as
wars, etc., it is not really relevant in terms of applicability to 
oneself.  There are other reasons which apply much more in this modern
world.  Anyhow, it is allowed and I really think it is the concern
of the parties involved what their reasons are.

IMHO, a woman is not suited to a relationship with more than one husband.
It has to do with the way a woman loves, but I will stop here, since it is
more of a personal opinion. 
> 
>>
>> Islam is the exception.  
>> 
> For its followers, all religions are exceptions.
> All reliiogns are dear to its followers, we must respect all religions.

I do.  
>>
>> -Rukhsana Merchant
> 
> regards,
> 
> -Naveed

-Rukhsana Merchant

Newsgroups: soc.culture.pakistan,soc.culture.indian