HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: beginning discipline
Date: 27 Aug 92 17:25:42 GMT
Reply-To: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)


In a previous article, harvey@rtsg.mot.com (Anne M. Harvey) says:

>
>I'd like ideas on beginning setting limits for our almost 10 month old 
>daughter.
>
>Hannah is quite mobile: cruising and climbing furniture and crawling
>faster than I walk.  We feel like the house is reasonably baby-proofed but
>still have to have some limits.  For example, we don't want her to play on
>the hearth or with the glass fireplace doors - although we can make this
>area fairly safe now, during the winter she could get burned so we want to
>make this area off-limits.  Although there are a few areas, items, and 
>activities we want to designate off-limits, Hannah has free rein of most 
>of the house, plenty of toys on the floor, and we spend a good deal of time 
>playing with her.
     This is a good first step, having many areas free so there are
lots of distractions.

>When she gets into one of the areas which are off-limits, I've tried saying
>"no" sternly, removing her to an acceptable play area, and perhaps giving
>her a toy to distract her.  Lately when she hears me say "no", she turns and
>smiles broadly or even laughs then continues with the unacceptable activity.
>When I move her she usually immediately tries to return to the activity
>which I had tried to stop.  Sometimes she cannot be distracted and begins to 
>cry when I prevent her persistent attempts at the undesirable activity.  
     I can imagine it gets pretty frustrating, but one of the first things
to realize is that she isn't trying to sass you by laughing at your "NO!"
She has no concept of what behavior is required, I wouldn't imagine.  Just
ignoriong the laughter is hard, but will make it go away eventually.  Also,
she won't necessarily recall the things that are "no"s from one week to
the next - sometimes not even one day to the next!
     What my Aunt does that helps is to give her kids some idea of what to
do along with the word; often she won't say 'no,' for instance, but simply:
"Don't touch," followed by saying something like; "That's pretty, we just look
at it."  That way, the child knows there is something that *can* be done as
well.  Distractions usually work, too, but this depends on the child.  Some
are more determined to get what they want than others.  Hannah may
have that type of personality, where she just won't be distracted.
Usually, though, there is something that can distract her; it just takes time
to find it.
     One other thing I've read on the net is to concentrate on one behavior
at a time, but this is usually in discussions of 18-month-olds or older, but
it may help.
-- 
Doug Fowler: dxf12@po.CWRU.edu      :    "Every baby born into the world is
Real home: Canton, Ohio             :  finer than the last."--Charles Dickens
 Trying to follow in the path of our :     "A baby is an inestimable
Lord;anything close will be a success:  blessing and bother."--Mark Twain
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: choi@wk59.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi)
Subject: Re: "Missing out" (was. re:  Justin...)
Organization: NAS Program, NASA Ames Research Center, Moffett Field, CA
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 92 15:49:39 GMT

(Diane Lin) writes:

>When I was in labor, I kept notes, because I wanted to add this all to 
>the journal that I started when early on in my pregnancy.  When we made 
>the decision to get a shot of Stadol, I insisted that my husband start 
>taking notes, so that I wouldn't miss anything important, just in case 
>I zoned out.  After the Stadol wore off (very quickly), I continued 

Yep me too, notes ...but now I wish we had videotaped the whole thing
because right now, (7 months later) I would just LOVE to watch it.  
(And before I always thought videoptaping a birth was weird).

diana
From: bhjelle@carina.unm.edu
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: I never thought I would be defending walkers but...
Date: 28 Aug 92 13:57:39 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <17juiuINNqq2@network.ucsd.edu> dlin@weber.ucsd.edu (Diane Lin) writes:
>In article <1992Aug27.213038.21526@nwnexus.WA.COM> jbrindle@halcyon.com (Jennifer Brindle) writes:
>>All this stuff about walkers really irks me.  Okay, walkers aren't the
>>safest thing in our house--we know.  But they do serve a purpose and
>>just like anything else, if used properly, present little risk.  
>                          ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>Sure, but couldn't that argument be used for practically *anything*?
>Handguns used for target shooting, if used properly, present little risk.  
>The problem is that many parents are not vigilant much of the time,
>and very few parents (if any) are vigilant *all* of the time.  The fact 
>that over 20,000 accidents occur each year due to walkers is pretty
>scary.  Just because accidents couldn't possibly happen in *your* family
>doesn't imply that they are good for mass consumption.
>
You're never going to ban walkers -at least I hope not!
Instead of comparing them to guns and stoves, you should compare
them to skateboards and bicycles, which, after all, are
intended for similar purposes. We tolerate  *many*  deaths
of children each year riding bicycles because (a) bike
riding is usually pretty safe; (b) collectively, people
get a lot of pleasure from their use. Anyone who has ever
seen the look of glee on a toddler's face in a walker knows
that they can get a lot of pleasure from their newfound
freedom. The problem comes in when people leave them in
for really prolonged periods (this deprives them of crawling,
and develops too much extensor tone) or when they fail
to protect them from stairs.

So, unfortunately, while we cannot insulate all toddlers from
all stupidity on the part of parents, hopefully the
ban-everything crowd will not prevail on this issue.

Brian
From: tanner@sundog.nas.nasa.gov (Leigh Ann Tanner)
Subject: Re: Tax-deductible Childcare Expenses?
Organization: Numerical Aerodynamic Simulation Facility NASA
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 92 17:00:42 GMT
Reply-To: tanner@sundog.nas.nasa.gov (Leigh Ann Tanner)
Distribution: usa

In article <1992Aug26.151625.14523@cbnewsh.cb.att.com>, jch@cbnewsh.cb.att.com (jeffrey.c.halle) writes:
|> From article <1992Aug26.125534.29733@crd.ge.com>, by millerj@belize.crd.ge.com (Julia K. Miller):
|> > 	Not to be picky but I understand that you can't take the child care
|> > deduction on the $5000 that you put into the pretax account, but you can
|> > take it on anything over that amount that you have to spend.
|> > 	So, if for example your day care costs run around $7000, which is my
|> > case, you can put $5000 into the child care flexible spending account and
|> > take the child care deduction on the remaining $2000.  The child care
|> > deduction doesn't work out to be much with our income level but every
|> > little bit helps!
|> 
|> I wish this were true, but it's not.  You can put up to $5000 in the pre-tax

Yes, I'm pretty certain that you can take both, just as long as you
don't use the same $5000 for the later deduction.  Like she mentioned,
for their $7000 (ours is this much, too) the $2000 over the $5000 max that you're allowed pre-tax, you can take the deduction.  You just can't take the same $$$$.

Leigh Ann
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: goldberg@eldyn.gsfc.nasa.gov (Patti Twigg)
Subject: Re: Seatbelts in buses(ses?) ???
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Organization: NASA Goddard Space Flight Center - Greenbelt, MD, USA
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 15:48:00 GMT

In article <9430234@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM>, erik@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Erik Lode) writes...
>  I've never seen a school bus with seat belts (when I was a lad they had
>hard fiberglass seats).  When I was in elementary school, kids were
>assigned seats--three kids per seat (girls left of the aisle, boys right).
>By high school, only two kids could fit per seat.
> 
>  I assume the buses with belts are equipped with three belts per seat to
>reach the "capacity 66" (or whatever it is now) stamped on the front of
>the bus.  Has anyone tried to wedge high school students into these belts?

  The school buses with seat belts in this area have one long
strap per seat.
                               Patti Twigg
From: schratt@bambam.uucp (Nicola Schratte)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Looking For Gynecologist
Date: 1 Sep 92 18:09:55 GMT
Distribution: ba
Organization: ESL, Sunnyvale, CA



I am looking for recommendations for a good gynecologist in the South Bay.
I live in Sunnyvale but anywhere in the vicinity is fine.  I would prefer
a woman but I will take all recommendations.  I would also appreciate it
if you could tell me why you like a particular doctor.

Thanks,

Nicola
-- 
---------------------------
Nicola Schratter, ESL Inc.    

Nicola_Schratter@SMTP.esl.com
From: aschuele@ncsa.uiuc.edu (Amy Schuele)
Subject: Perineal Massage Questions
Originator: aschuele@picard.ncsa.uiuc.edu
Organization: Nat'l Ctr for Supercomp App (NCSA) @ University of Illinois
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 20:38:08 GMT

Hello Misc.kids!!

I'm in my last month of pregnancy....finally!  We've been
doing the perineal massage and have a few questions...

1.  How many of you did this?
2.  For how many weeks?
3.  Did you end up with an episiotomy?
4.  How often did you do it (per week?)?

I guess we're getting a little bored with it, and we've
heard conflicting results.  Thanks for the info.

You can post here if you want, or just send me email.  I will
post a summary if there is interest.

Amy Schuele
aschuele@ncsa.uiuc.edu

"
From: olney@hpnmdla.sr.hp.com (Doug Olney)
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 19:46:53 GMT
Subject: Sand under Swings?
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Santa Rosa, CA
Newsgroups: misc.kids



Howdy!

    We've decided to replace the weeds under the kid's swing set with
    something more appropriate.  But what?  We'd love to do sand, but
    I have visions of a giant kitty litter box.  On the other hand, the
    local park doesn't seem to have any trouble.  Does anyone:
    
	   o Know how parks avoid kitty problems?
	   o Have experience with sand they would like to share?
	   
    Of course, if anyone has a favorable report on alternative
    materials, I'd love to see that too.
    
					     Thanks!
					     
					     Doug Olney
					     Santa Rosa, CA
					     (Parent of 6 mo Rachel,
						       24 mo Laura)
From: kathyj@pyramid.COM (Kathy Johnson )
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Tax-deductible Childcare Expenses?
Date: 27 Aug 92 19:45:56 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Pyramid Technology Corporation, Mountain View, California

In article <1992Aug26.125534.29733@crd.ge.com>, millerj@belize.crd.ge.com (Julia K. Miller) writes:
|> In article <1992Aug25.172126.2579@ticipa.pac.sc.ti.com> elise@ticipa.pac.sc.ti.com (Elise Wade) writes:
|> >
|> >Yes, it really is possible to pay day care costs -- up to $5000 per 
|> >year from pretax dollars.  (The $$ deducted reduce your W2 wages.
|> >The difference shows up as one of the non-taxable benefits.) ...
|> >Also, if you do take the pretax dollars, 
|> >you cannot claim the child care deduction.  
|> 
|> 	Not to be picky but I understand that you can't take the child care
|> deduction on the $5000 that you put into the pretax account, but you can
|> take it on anything over that amount that you have to spend.
|> 	So, if for example your day care costs run around $7000, which is my
|> case, you can put $5000 into the child care flexible spending account and
|> take the child care deduction on the remaining $2000.  The child care
|> deduction doesn't work out to be much with our income level but every
|> little bit helps!
|> 
|> Julia

It was true for the first year or two but then the IRS re-defined the rules and
you can't do that anymore.  If you have taken less than the 5,000 dollar maximum
you might have a chance.

-- 
Lost:  One clever .sig file.  Short, witty and sweet.  Reward.
       Does not bite.

       kathyj@pyramid.
From: dgs@cnmss.tredydev.unisys.com (Dave G. Sokolowsky)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Second is bigger(was: birth announcement)
Date: 25 Aug 92 19:06:27 GMT
Organization: Unisys Corporation, Tredyffrin

>In article <1992Aug20.174301.7736@informix.com>, alison@husky.informix (Alison Suggs) writes:
> 
> Well, it's a bit late, but I feel I have to announce anyway:
> 
> Danika Hayes Suggs
> April 24, 1992 8:26 a.m.
> 9 lbs, 11 oz   21 inches
> 
> I'm almost afraid to post the birth story because I had a very easy time
> despite the fact that she was so large.  They say first-borns are smaller
> and girls are smaller.  I am seriously worried about having a boy the 
> second time around!
> 

Our first, a girl, was large, but Sue had a rather difficult time.  The second
was quite a bit less difficult (I'd never say easy), even though HE was 
11 lbs, 5 oz and 23 inches.  BTW, Sue is 5' 2", 115 lbs, and put on ~32 lbs
for each pregnancy.  Needless to say, we are not having a third. OUCH! :)

Congratulations!
From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Kids and Pets (Re: Sweet things they do (3 years))
Date: 26 Aug 92 19:47:13 GMT
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California

Brendan's story reminded me of Mitchell.  Being dog fanciers, we were watching
the Westminster Dog Show a while back.  Mitchell commented, "We need to show
Daisy so she can be a hero!"  I didn't really know how to explain to him that
our beloved OES is not show quality.  Perhaps when he is older he can take her
to obedience school and start junior handling.  But I think they have to be
8 (the child, not the dog).

Judy


-- 
Judy Leedom Tyrer

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"	- William Blake
From: elise@ticipa.pac.sc.ti.com (Elise Wade)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: help with almost 3 year old
Date: 4 Sep 92 17:03:59 GMT
Article-I.D.: ticipa.1992Sep4.170359.1799
Organization: Texas Instruments

In article <1992Sep1.211404.575@ims.com> johnnyb@flamingo.ims.com writes:
>k.a.perkins writes:
>
>>I need some advice on toilet training... 
>>My daughter will be 3 in October.  She has had some success in
>>actually peeing and pooping in the potty chair, but she really
>>prefers not to do that.  She knows what to do - we have read
>>books, watched videos, been lavish in praise when she does the
>>deed - but she doesn't like to.
>
>I would explain to her (again) how important it is to you that
>she use the potty and why.  I would then offer her a deal: if she firmly 
>agrees to use the potty rather than her pants whenever possible,
>and then proves it by using only the potty for a week you will buy
                                                  ^^^^
I think that's a bit much for the typical 3 year old!  I don't think
3 year olds even have the concept of a week -- Infact, I think she'd
be pretty advance to have the concepts of today, yesterday and 
tomorrow down.  

>her a new dress or doll, or take her to a movie, or do something
>that you know she really wants.  This puts the ball in her court.
>Let her know that its completely up to her when she gets the reward.
>Whenever she is ready to make the deal and stick to it, you will
>keep your half of the bargain.  I have found this to work well.  It
>lets the child retain her dignity and develops an understanding of
>mutually beneficial agreements. (Oh, by the way, you probably need
>to make allowances for real "accidents" such as 3-year olds will
>sometimes have.)
>
>Some people may say this kind of prearranged reward is actually
>a bribe, and they don't want to get into having to bribe their

Oh, I'm not against the idea of bribery, I just think you have to
apply the principal correctly.   If there aren't *immediate* rewards,
I suspect you might as well not give any rewards.

>kids.  But to me, "bribery" is paying someone to do something you
>both know is wrong.  Whereas, this involves getting her to do something
>you both know is right, and it develops a mutual respect.   
>
>>My reaction to this is getting pretty poor.  I was really angry at
>>her today, and I feel pretty frustrated.  I made her wipe up the
>>floor and rinse out her clothes - of course, I helped with this because
>>almost 3 year olds aren't very efficient at these things - but I
>>feel pretty bad about my reaction. 
>
>I don't think you should feel too bad about getting angry.  We
>all do that.  You don't sound abusive.  Making her help to clean up 
>seems like a reasonable thing to do when she consciously chose to 
>make the mess.  Just make it very clear to her that, despite your anger,
>you still love her.
>
>******************************************************************** 
>Johnny Battle             "Mysteries are to lived, not understood."
>                                              -Pundit Ravi Shankar
>
>

Elise.
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: guido@island.COM (Guido Marx)
Subject: Re: prenatal testing - ultra sounds
Organization: Island Graphics Corp.  San Rafael, Ca.
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 22:36:07 GMT

In article <64968@cup.portal.com> ctopp@cup.portal.com (Carol F Topp) writes:
>K.A. Perkins said -
>Ultra sound is all about having to drink a lot of water
>so you have a full bladder for a couple of hours, more water
>than you could comfortably hold even if someone wasn't doing
>Olympic gymnastics on your already squished bladder.
>
>I've had routine ultra sounds in two pregnancies and a couple
>in the hospital while preterm labor was being brought under
>control. In non of these was there any statement about fullness
>of my bladder. 

I have read some of the replies and am appalled to hear that
some women DID NOT have to have full bladders.  When our son
Justin was (two years ago) my wife had some bleeding about
one week before she went into labor.  We rushed her to the
hospital, and they wanted to do an ultra-sound right away.
The doctor told us that he was concerned about placenta-previa.
If the placenta was tearing away from the wall of her uterus,
they would have to perform an emergency c-section.  Anyway, they
told us that her bladder HAD to be full.  They then proceeded to
cathaterize her and pump almost 1 LITER of saline into her bladder.
And yes, it is every bit as uncomfortable as you can imagine it
would be.  

What I am wondering, was this trauma due to the fact that the hospital
(Marin General) had obsolete equipment?  The ultra-sound did not
produce images as good as others I have seen, and it just looked 
like it was fairly old.

Of course, the good news is that her placenta was fine and she had
a normal vaginal-delivery of a healthy 9lb. 9oz. boy the following
week.

Guido


Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: nelson@mdd.comm.mot.com (Mike Nelson)
Subject: Re: Switched at Birth
Organization: Motorola - Mobile Data Division; Richmond, BC
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 18:02:03 GMT

In article <1992Sep3.034225.28843@cbnewsc.cb.att.com> kapa@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (k.a.perkins) writes:
>was 9 or 10 or so when this first came out.  If someone showed up at
>your door tomorrow and could prove that the child you were raising
>was not your biological child but his/hers, would you be willing to
>swap kids with them?  I knew by the time we had Maddie home with us
>that this was *our* child, no matter what.  I confess that I feel
>Kate Perkins

Our daughters are staying with us. I certainly would grant some
visitation rights (if my daughters wished it).
I would expect some if I were the Bio parent. I would go to
court to get visitation but I would not apply for custody
even if the parent were a single parent.


BTW How does the story turn out in this case.

Mike N.

Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: day_kevran@tandem.tandem.com (Kevran Day )
Subject: Re:  Tax-deductible Childcare Expenses?
Followup-To: misc.kids
Organization: Tandem Computers, Inc.
Date: Sun, 23 Aug 1992 22:00:17 GMT

In article <22990@hacgate.SCG.HAC.COM>, smergen@luna.dpl.scg.hac.com
(Sandra Mergen) wrote:

> 
> The only drawback that I see is, (example:  if you estimate that
> your day care expenses for the next year are $4500, and you change
> day care's mid year, or make a change that your expenses are less,
> you still have to have the $4500 taken out of your check, which
> means you lose money).   

> Sandy


This isn't the case for our program.  There are "qualifying events"
which make it possible to change the amounts.  For instance, I was
able to change my amount withheld (upward) when my husband went
from part-time self-employed to full-time permanent employment.
The birth of a child is a qualifying event as is the loss of a job by one
of the spouses.  There are probably others, you need to check with 
your company's benefits administrator.

If nothing changes though and you've overestimated, you are stuck.
Those are the rules according to the IRS, not the company you work
for.  So I've made it a point to have a little less taken out than we
plan to need.

We have a similar plan for health care costs.  We can use pre-tax
dollars to pay deductibles or for procedures not covered.

Kevran (mom to Jason - 2YO and ??? due in Oct.)
From: wiebe@ut-emx.uucp (Anne Hill Wiebe)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: trip to Disneyland with 4 year old
Keywords: Disneyland
Date: 27 Aug 92 18:51:49 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: U. Texas Center for Space Research


especially since my 4 1/2 year old daughter, Elizabeth, and I 
hope to go to Disneyland!  We're going for her aunt's wedding,
but we REALLY REALLY want to spend a day at Disneyland. 

I'd really love suggestions from those who have gone, as to which
things are really wonderful for a four-year-old, which things
are mustn't-miss-so-get-in-line-first, when to arrive, how to 
minimize costs, etc.  Can you bring in food, like in a bag, to
reduce expenditures, or is the food really neat and part of the
experience?   This is a once-in-a-lifetime trip to California for
me (and her, so far :-)) and I really want to do it as well as I
can.  What amenities do they have that maybe aren't so obvious?

thanks for any advice you can offer --

Anne Hill Wiebe (anne@utcsr.ae.utexas.edu)
From: lm3a+@andrew.cmu.edu (Laura McGinnis)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Child's Education
Date: 31 Aug 92 05:31:04 GMT
Article-I.D.: andrew.MecVwMe00UhW81rHJw
Organization: Administrative Systems, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

On 28-Aug-92 in Child's Education            
user Catharine Robshaw@cs.tor writes:
>Another factor is, that my husband and I are finding financial matters
>quite tight right now.  Are there any other ways that you would recommend
>to begin savings programs for this?
> 
>I would be interested to hear how others have handled saving for their
>children's secondary education (hopefully they will all be going!)      

Right now, my husband and I pay approximately $500/month for each
child's care during the day (our son [2.75 yrs] is in a child care
center where we work & our daughter [2.75 months] has a nanny).  We are
planning on sending them to Catholic school once they get to 1st grade
(our local school doesn't have a full-day kindergarten, but the child
care center does).

Even though we will have to pay tuition at the Catholic school, it will
be much less than the $1000/month we are paying now, so we will put the
difference into an investment plan that will be available when they
start college.  We figure we're used to doing without this money now, so
we won't miss it much when it is more available.  This will give us
approximately $4000-5000/year/child towards their educations.  Over 12
years, this should add up nicely!

We hope this works. It's our plan, but we have no idea how realistic it
is.  Any advice would be appreciated.

Laura

P.S.  We are also getting $100 savings bonds every two months for both
of them through payroll deduction.  We figure this will be book & "mad"
money for school.