From: rohwerwd@netcom.com (W. David Rohwer)
Subject: Politeness and Canterbury Apt. Troubles.  (Was:Re: What do you Am men think about Am women?)
Organization: Netcom - San Jose, CA
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 10:32:57 GMT

In article <92307.121009CMSTEST@GTRI01.GATECH.EDU> Jeffery Swagger <CMSTEST@GTRI01.GATECH.EDU> writes:
>In article <25263@sybase.sybase.com>, mysti@sybase.com (Mysti) says:
>>
>>In article <95106@netnews.upenn.edu> crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L.
>>Crawford) writes:
>>>In article <1992Oct28.005704.1351@midway.uchicago.edu>                       u
>>hd12@midway.uchicago.ed
>>writes:
>>>
>>>>The difference is exactly the MANNER, or in other words, be considerate
>>>>when you protest or try to get what you want.
>>
>>Ouch!  You mean, "make nice"?  That so, so, stereotypically subservient!
>
>I beg to disagree.  Politness is the mark of a superior person.
>Anybody can be rude and inconsiderate; that takes no effort at all really.
>
>Politness and consideration for the other person and their opinion
>is essential to civilized discussion of the issues.  Otherwise the
>discussion degenerates into screaming match.  When faced with a
>rude inconsiderate bore that is not, IMHO, an excuse to lower oneself
>to their level.
>

     I disagree.  Politeness goes only so far, if one does not get what
one is entitled to, then, one can become very rude.

     An example out of my life:  My apartment management would not
fix a problem that I reported in a timely manner.  At the beginning of
September, I reported a problem with the bench press in the weight room.
They said that they would fix it.  A week later, the problem still not
fixed, I asked when the problem would be fixed.  They said soon.  One
more week passed, the problem still not fixed, I asked what the holdup
was.  They said that they had to get the Universal people to come and
fix the machine.  One more week passed, the problem still not fixed,
I asked the assistant manager what was happening.  She said that because
they had to get 30 to 50 apartments ready for new tenants they did not
have time to fix the problem.  The next day, I went in and talked to
the manager about the old problem and reported a new problem with the
light in the laundry room.  He said that he would fix the light very
quickly because of the danger and told me that they could not fix
the weight room because of the new tenants.  Up until that time,
I acted very politely, although I felt increasing frustration because
they did not do their contracted duty of fixing problems in a timely
manner.

     About a week later, at the end of the month, I went in to pay my
rent.  I decided to deduct about $10 off my rent check to protest
their lack of repairs to the weight and laundry rooms.  The manager
said that he would not accept my check because it was not for the full
amount.  I told him why I deducted the money.  He then gave me back
the check and told me that if I did not pay the full amount that he
would slap a 3-day eviction notice on me.  At that point, I lost my
temper and yelled a lot of swear words at him and accused him of not caring
for his existing tenants, in front of two of his employees and a couple of
other tenants.  He then had us go out into the hall, outside of the office
and I continued my yelling.  The guy was a clear asshole.  He then went into
his office and I left for my car.  I then turned around and went back in and
asked for his boss's name.  He told me that he did not have one.  I called
him some more swear words and then left.  I wanted to get his boss's name so
that I could try to get him fired.  I also felt that he was lying to me about
the new tenants.  After I got to work, I called a mediation board here in
Sunnyvale and they advised to me give them a check for the full amount and
they would send him a letter asking him to go into mediation with me.  The
next day, I gave him a check without any extra verbage.  The mediation
board sent him a letter.  Within a week or two of him receiving the letter,
I noticed that the problems were fixed.

     The moral is that if politeness does not work, then use all the
weapons at your disposal to get what one is entitled to.

     The apartment complex's name is Canterbury Apartments, the
first name of the apartment manager is Alex and the city is Sunnyvale.

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