From: fontana@iguana.cis.ohio-state.edu (Mark Fontana)
Subject: The Demise of Ted Bundy
Organization: The Ohio State University Dept. of Computer and Info. Science
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 19:27:37 GMT


                                                           3-22-89
THE DEMISE OF TED BUNDY

     On the morning of his execution, Ted Bundy looked out with a
lifeless scowl from his cell on death row.  In the execution chambers
below, technicians prepared for his death mumbling unintelligibly. 
They walked unceremoniously to and fro, waiting.
     Presently, Ted Bundy heard ominous tappings resounding far off
down the corridor.  They gradually grew louder.  The thunderous echoes
grew greater and greater in intensity, falling into syncopation with
the wild beats of his heart.  Two guards appeared, and the pounding
ceased.  Silently the guards opened his cell, and Ted looked around
hazily as cold, heavy handcuffs clicked shut.  He had been awake for
over thirty hours, and when the guards motioned for him to get up, he
merely sat up dizzily.  A guard tugged harder now.  Ted stood up and
immediately experienced that fizzy darkening of the senses caused by
exhaustion and poor circulation.  His mind cleared some as the guards
led him down the corridor, and his gait became more controlled.
     The prison, with its cool bare cinderblock walls and tile
flooring, resembled a castle.  It had a kitchen, dungeons, and steep
security walls around the outside.   Surely Ted himself was the king,
being escorted from his evening chambers.  With his hands suavely
clasped behind him, King Bundy strode nobly behind his reticent
guards.  He admired the neatness and symmetry of the institution,
glancing at decorative prints screwed to the walls.  His footsteps
beat out a majestic cadence.  The king admired the lavish facilities
of his castle as he passed them: clocks with no pendulums, vents
blowing warm air, and silvery boxes which spouted water directly to
one's lips.  Cameras and mirrors were placed strategically so as to
capture the splendor of the procession.
     Finally the glorious parade reached the entrance to the throne
room, where two more guards were stationed.  They opened the doors and
trailed in behind, taking positions against the wall of the court. 
The king was led to a raised pedestal, on top of which stood a royal
wooden throne.  Polished metal strips adorned the throne, and they
felt cool against the king's arms as the guards helped him to his
seat.  One guard busied himself at His Majesty's feet, presumably
fastening the royal shoes.  Another guard put circular bracelets on
the king's wrists, while still another lowered a crown to his head. 
The attendants retreated humbly to the perimeter after finishing their
duties.
     King Bundy observed his court with a lofty air and felt very
satisfied.  All eyes were on him, as if awaiting words from their
Master, so the arrogant king took a deep breath and spoke.  He
remembered not what he said, but it was most certainly a grand oration
worthy of His Excellency.
     After his speech, the court stood contemplating these wise words
until a sudden jolt coursed through the king's royal skin, convulsing
his body and inducing a frenzy of the senses- colours, odors, burning,
tingling, crackling, warmth, fizzy, black,nothing.
                              --- --- ---
    Ted awoke to find himself in dirty jeans and a torn shirt.  He was
wandering aimlessly around a schoolyard, invisible to the masses of
children playing at recess.  Ted walked and walked, and as he reached
the end of one schoolyard, another one began.  And the recess never
ended, and the children never tired.  As Ted shuffled among them, he
could hear the words of every child.  The happy voices rang out in
gleeful laughter every once in a while.  And Ted Bundy had no choice
but to listen to what they said...

Didja hear Ted Bundy's gonna be an honorary member of the American
Lung Association?
   - He stopped smoking at 9:00 this morning!

       What did Ted Bundy have for breakfast this morning?
           - Just some juice.

               How did Ted Bundy feel when they told him he'd be
               electrocuted?
                   - He was shocked!
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                                            .............
                                                  ......
                                                     ... for all time!

Xref: sparky rec.humor:27855 eunet.jokes:1930