From: stangem@columbia.dsu.edu (Michele Stange)
Subject: worst country song titles
Organization: Dakota State University
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 05:57:23 GMT

My fiance does not, repeat, DOES NOT, like country music and I think it's 
the greatest thing since peppermint bon-bon ice cream.  Anyway...every time 
I'm around Brian and his friends they torment me with how terrible country 
music is. One of his friends is a grad. student of Psychology and has warned 
me that studies show that country music listeners have the highest rate of 
suicide among any type of music listeners and that I should go out and buy 
some AC/DC - I think not!  They also take great pleasure in telling me that 
Garth has relations with sheep.  Sick, I know, but I love him anyway.

So Brian found the following list on a humor listing and I thought I'd share 
them with all o' you.

WORST COUNTRY SONG TITLES- PART II (don't know where Part I is)

1.  If You Don't Believe I Love You Just Ask My Wife
2.  Timber, I'm Falling in Love
3.  You're the First time I Thought About Leaving
4.  Love Will Beat Your Brains Out
5.  You Can Tell the Man Who Boozes (by the Company he Chooses)
6.  I Think I'll Drink Myself Into the Past
7.  Play Me or Trade Me
8.  She Can't Get My Love off the Bed
9.  I Got Tears in My Eyes from Lying on my Back Crying on My Pillow Over 
    You
10. Sleeping Single in a Double Bed
11. The Pint of No Return
12. Your Negligee has Turned to Flannel Nightgowns
13. Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
14. The Wife of the Party
15. It Ain't Love, But It Ain't Bad
16. Would Jesus Wear a Rolex on His Television Show?
17. Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone
18. I'd Rather have a Bottle in Front of me than a Frontal Lobotomy
19. Don't Let that Doorknob Hit You (On the Way Out)
20. You're Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
21. This Time I'm Gonna Beat You to the Truck
22. You Blacked My Blue Eyes Once Too Often
23. Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In
24. How Long Does It Take a Memory to Drown?
25. I Forgot How Back My Good Woman Could Be
26. Now I Lay Me Down to Cheat
27. You Done Stomped on My Heart (and Smashed that Sucker Flat)
28. Let Me Love the Leavin' From Your Mind
29. Somebody Shoot Out the Jukebox
30. My Legs Won't Walk Away From You
31. You'd Make an Angel Want to Cheat
32. Take Me to Heaven (Before You Take Me Home)
33. What's a Fool Like Me Doing in a Love like This?
34. I've Been Roped and Throwed by Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral
35. Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed
36. Jesus is a Good Ole Boy
37. If You Can Live With It (I Can Live Without It)
38. She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft)
39. Somebody Must Have Loved You Right Last Night
40. Hell Stays Open All Night
41. She Gave Her Heart to Jethro and Her Body to the Whole Danged World
42. I'd Be Better Off in a Pine Box
43. I've Got You on My Conscience But at Least You're Off My Back
44. You Won't Be Back But George and Jack Will Help Me Make it Through the
    Night
45. Bridge Washed Out, I Can't Swim and My Baby's on the Other Side
46. The Worst You Ever Gave Me Was the Best I Ever Had
47. If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
48. I've Got a Funny Feeling (I Won't Be Feeling Funny Very Long)
49. Does My Ring Hurt You (When You Go Out at Night)
50. Lay Back Down and Love Me and Leave the Leavin' for Later On
51. How Can a Whiskey Six Years Old Whip a Man that's 32?
52. I Knew I'd Lean (But I Never Thought I'd Fall)
53. She Even Woke Me Up to Say Goodbye
54. We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It's All Over
55. You're the Reason Our Kids are So Ugly
56. If You Keep Checking Up on Me (I'm Checking Out on You)
57. Don't come Home a-Drinkin' With Lovin' on Your Mind
58. It Don't Hurt Half as Bad as Holding You Feels Good
59. I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
60. *my personal favorite*   Get Your Tongue Out of my Mouth
    (Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye)
61. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?