Newsgroups: alt.personals
Subject: The real reason women don't post
From: anonymus+2731@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 21:57:34 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service


(or why desperate men don't get dates!)


Well, it took me a long time, but I've finally figured 
it out.  Figured out why women don't post as much as 
men!  The answer is simple:  "communication".  

Let me explain:  whenever two people engage in 
conversation, communication occurs at two basic levels - 
verbal and non-verbal.  We often call non-verbal 
communication "body language", and people that study 
this sort of thing tell us that about 60% of the 
information we transmit during a conversation is 
communicated through this non-verbal level.  About 25% 
is conveyed through voice inflection, which can change 
dramatically the meaning of a written phrase.  Bottom 
line:  when your only means of communication to 
strangers is via the written word, only about 15% of 
your message gets across.

Think about it for a moment.

How many times do you flame someone on the net for 
saying something that seems totally inane or 
inappropriate?  Compared to how many times you flame 
someone face-to-face for a similar infraction?  I 
would hypothesize that the difference in the ratio is 
due to the fact that in face-to-face communication your 
body language blunts or otherwise augments the words so 
that they are not as threatening, or so that your 
intentions are better understood.

I know we have symbols that people use in their postings 
to indicate a wink, laugh, grin, etc., but these are 
(very) poor substitutes for body language because they 
can't convey any subtlety or real feeling.  They are 
also difficult to enforce.

In real life, when we disagree (face-to-face) we argue, 
and our arguments at least appear to be issue-based 
(body language takes care of the non-issue stuff).  Most 
(not all) of the flames I see here are characterized by 
name-calling (something most of us don't do anymore 
face-to-face...).

So, what reasonably intelligent person would want to 
deal with this frustration?  Especially when you can 
meet people face-to-face at clubs, dances, college 
classes, work, through friends, church groups, volunteer 
organizations, the mall, parties, etc?

And when you meet people face-to-face, you are able to 
engage that total universe of communication, and have a 
lot more fun!  Women have discovered this fact already, 
which is why most don't bother to post (a general 
statement based on my rather unscientific survey of the 
women I know who are more than capable of posting, but 
don't).

Yes, yes, I know there are examples to the contrary 
(there are always exceptions to every rule - I owned a 
Pinto myself, best car I ever had, had it for 11 years 
and never gave me any trouble!); this is simply a 
general statement.  Backed by anecdotal evidence.  
Overwhelming anecdotal evidence, in my experience...

So, if it's Saturday night at 11:30PM, and you are 
typing on your computer posting to alt.personals, stop 
and consider a change of lifestyle...

I have another theory as well, based on the totally
politically incorrect hypothesis that "looks count".
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