From: jose@csd.uwo.ca (Jose Thekkumthala)
Subject: -- The Psychology of a Net-Writer: Part I -- by Jose
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Western Ontario, London
Distribution: alt.culture.kerala
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 16:10:17 GMT


   +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   +                                           +         
   +   THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A NET-WRITER          +         
   +                                           +
   +             PART I                        +                                
   +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Well guys, ACK has come to some sort of a stalemate. All the famous
net-writers have gone out of business. They simply have run out of 
ideas. This article is only a feeble attempt to rattle everyone 
and resurrect the slowly dying ack.

I thought aloud about getting some idea to write on. I could not think
of anything better than ourselves. I have always been intrigued by
how a net-writer will look like when I meet him/her (hereinafter referred
to as 'him' -- sexism, you may call it) and see him face-to-face.
It has been always a challlenge to imagine how a net-writer will look 
like, based upon what he contributes to the net. If he is anything like
what he writes, there are very good chances that you have a good guess.

Well, the fact of the matter is that there is a very high probability that 
he is unlike anything he writes.  Let me cite a first-hand experience that
I had recently. 

I met this person through net, corresponded with him through net and 
became buddies. I liked his writing and had admiration for his ideas
and was always eager to read whatever he contributes to the net.
I would say that I was even inspired by his writing. I formed an opinion
about this person - about his physical appearance, that is. He must be
of medium height, of dark complexion, bald, with a beard, always dressing 
carelessly and with an air of a leader, like Gandhi, let us say. 
Of course he cannot be like George Bush. This opinion of mine was 
reinforced day after day through my ceaseless reading of the great man's 
writing. That idea transformed itself into some sort of a conviction. 
I was obsessed with this idea of mine and was hopeful that one day 
I would be able to prove my theory. Hopefully I would meet him 
someday somewhere and prove to myself that I am good in guessing human 
nature from net-writing. If there is an art or science in guessing human 
appearance from net-writing, I probably would be qualified to teach 
it--so I thought.

Well, there was not much chance that I would meet him in this lifetime
and so I was left with only my theory and no way to prove it. I tried to 
forget about this whole idea. I tried to convince myself that this whole 
thought-process is rather silly and that I should better utilize my time 
by doing something more useful like going to horse-race and betting 
head over heels.

Guess what? Imagine my surprise when I saw his e-mail message to me one 
fine morning announcing that he was going to attend the very same computer 
science conference that I was going to attend. I was excited; I was happy.
I told myself that here is a god-given chance to test my theory.

The next three weeks before the conference went like a breeze. I prepared
myself to discuss some of the hotly-debated issues in the SCI with this
person. I wanted to know his views on a multitude of topics. I wanted
to know his views on abortion, on socio-economic policies of the current-day
India, on the Ozone Layer Depletion and Life on Mars. I also wanted to know
his views on Demigods and Black Magic of Kerala and how they influenced 
the ancient Maya civilization. I went to the local
library and borrowed books on almost all topics, including some on the
witchcraft in the ancient Europe, some on the Presidential Impeachment 
Procedure in the USA, some on the UFO and even some on the 
Near-Death-Experience(NDE). I even got some books on the one-eyed, pre-historic
monsters that lived in Kerala. Also, I studied in detail books on 
Keralasaur, maternal uncle of Dinosaur, who is reputed to have lived 
in Trivandrum and parts of Trichur before Mahabali kingdom came into
existence. All in all, I prepared myself for this meeting
with a spirit of a missionary. I would say that my preparation for this
meeting knew no bounds. In fact, I hardly did any preparation for the
student-paper that I was supposed to present at the conference. I was so
much engrossed in the preparation for meeting this net-writer that I forgot
everything else.

I flew down to the Pacific City and checked in the hotel and eagerly
awaited the morning. Morning will show me this person and I will be meeting
the net-writer at last! I could not wait any longer. I went through the
motions of the supper and TV watching like a machine. I was promptly at
the conference site next morning. I waited and I waited. In my extreme
anxiety, tiny moments underwent relativistic dilatations and I awaited the
encounter for what seemed like an eternity. 

At last he arrived. He was tall, very fair, very jovial. Not bald, Not a trace
of hair in the face. No look of a leader. Elegantly dressed in a Saree.

	"He dressed in a saree?"
	
		"Yes, dressed in a saree!"
		
	"He must be a transvestite!"
	
		"No, it was not HE, it was SHE"
		
I was surprised beyond belief. All my theories were disproved beyond 
a shadow of doubt. This person standing in front of me was unlike
anything I assumed about him (hereinafter referred to as "her"; I give
up sexism). 

OK guys, do you remember the mental picture I had about the net-writer? 
If not, here they are:

	" He must be of medium height, of dark complexion, bald, with a beard, 
	  always dressing carelessly and with an air of a leader, like Gandhi, 
	  let us say; and not like George Bush."
	
SHE was not medium height; she was not dark; she was not bald; she 
certainly did not have a beard; she was dressed elegantly in a saree; 
she did not have the air of a leader; she hardly looked like Gandhi; 
if at all, maybe looked like Bush.

Such a sharp contrast! Can net-writing be so misleading? What is it that is
misleading in these bits and bytes carried by the network that disguises the
real personality? Which layer of the network carries the disguising properties?
I really do not have any answer for this, because I almost flunked the 
net-work course I did last semester.

I was perplexed by the intricacies of the net's mind. The dilemma took me to 
a reverie. She came and woke me up from my daydream. She was beautiful and 
one hundred percent feminine. She smiled and said:

	She: "Hi Jose! But I thought that you were a woman. That is the 
		 impression I got from your net-writing. Sorry!"
	
Miracle of the miracles; Surprise of the surprises!! Is this not what is 
called comedy of errors? Here I was expecting a man but finding a woman; 
here she was expecting a woman and finding a man!  It seems that you do 
not find what you seek. Which version of the Bible says that?

	I:   "But I thought you were a man!"
	
My surprise, as I mentioned, was boundless and I was so excited by this
great comedy of miscalculations that I was actually shouting my sentence
to her so loudly that other conference attendees started staring at her
with piercing eyes. They were afraid that she was really he. They were
sending their searching glance all around her to make sure that hidden away 
inside that elegant saree there was not a body of a man!

She was embarrassed. I apologized for my shouting. I even went to the
spectators and convinced them that she was she and not he. Some of them
were not really sure. Their fervent dedication in staring at my net-friend
may be interpreted as their lingering doubt or as their genuine appreciation
of her beauty. I will never know.

To make the long story short, I gave up my plans to discuss the pre-historic 
man-eating monsters that lived in the Canadian Arctic and their impact on the
current Kerala civilization. I even gave up my plans to discuss with her when
the World is supposed to end. Instead, her pleasant company led to some other
mundane topics of discussion. All that preparation that I did to meet my 
net-friend was in vain. I even gave up net-writing. 

                    ----- TO BE CONTINUED ----- 

============================================================================
       From My Ivory Tower in the Basement,

	 jose                                          email: jose@csd.uwo.ca
	 				                           Dept. of Computer Science
	 				                           Univ. of Western Ontario
	 				                           CANADA
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