From: andyw@meaddata.COM (Andy Welter)
Subject: Re: men crossing the street at night to avo
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Reply-To: andyw@meaddata.COM
Organization: Mead Data Central, Dayton OH
Date: 6 Jan 93 20:14:08 GMT

In article 1id7j9INNcv8@agate.berkeley.edu, cortese@skid.ps.uci.edu (Janis Maria Cortese) writes:
>In article <1id49bINNbo9@agate.berkeley.edu> andyw@meaddata.com writes:

<stuff deleted>

>>were a black woman, I'd probably assume that it was someone who was
>>stereotypically afraid of a black face.
>
>I'd breathe a sigh of relief that they weren't out for me.  Again, I

I can't say since I haven't experienced this, but I have heard many
black men complain that people automatically assume that black man is
up to no good, and consider it a racial slight.  Sounds like a damned
if you do, damned if you don't situation here.

>>It is an interesting subject, what do most women feel is appropriate
>>behavior... turning your head and ignoring a person is pretty cold
>>and rude, crossing the street seems insulting, and obviously, saying
>>"yo mamma, lookin fine tonight" is not appropriate either.
>
>Hopefully, you are capable of more than just these two simple
>emotions when you are meeting a woman.  Either let the door slam in
>her face or drool on her shoulder?  Not much room for emotional
>expression, is there?

First you insult me by saying that it doesn't look like my behavior
has much room for emotional expression, when my very next sentence I
say that I do not behave this way.  Then you seem to agree with me
that ignoring someone or crossing the street is "slamming a door in
their face" and "total rudeness".

>>I typically either nod my head in greeting, or say "good evening" or
>>something like that.
>
>Then, evidently you ARE capable of something in between total
>rudeness and drooling testosterone-spurting.  Why do you assume that
>crossing the street when walking past a woman late at night is rude?
>You aren't being introduced to me at a party, or bumping into me at
>work and spilling my coffee.  Walking around late at night for women
>is a time to be afraid, not strike up new social avenues and meet
>people.

Actually acknologing someones presence and showing that you are aware
of your surrondings may be a safer reaction for a woman to make than
showing total disinterest.  Self defense classes usually say that
muggers and such are more likely to prey upon people who look
confused, afraid or inattentive.  Totaly ignoreing a person may make
you look preoccupied or inattentive.

A twist on this is also a reason why Wal-Mart has greeters at the
door.  Shoplifters are given the impression that the store is
friendly, but alert.

Juvenile delinquents often say that they are more likely to hassle
people who look afraid.  Confidence is a good deterent.

>Hopefully, human behavior is able to adapt to the situation at hand;
>that is what is so remarkable about H. sapiens.  What is rude when
>you meet someone at work, indoors, with all the lights on, is not
>necessarily rude when a woman is walking across a parking lot and
>looking in all directions to make sure she isn't going to get killed.
>Evaluate the situation, and act appropriately.  The world isn't
>constrained by an "ignore her/drool on her" bipolarity.

Exactly, which is why I believe that a polite acknowlegement is a
better more appropriate response than "ignore her".

Sounds like you might benefit from a self defense class... it might
improve your confidence and ability when in situations where you need
to be careful.

---
|Andrew Welter	     |  All views are mine and not |      (513) 865-6822
|Mead Data Central   |    that of my employer      |      pd&o-ps-ts-dsp
|P.O. Box 933        |                             |     andyw@meaddata.com
|Dayton, Ohio  45401 |          	           | ...!uunet!meaddata!andyw


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