HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: wish me luck
Date: 19 Nov 92 00:42:07 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <LABTB4FX@cc.swarthmore.edu> chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy Horwitz) writes:
>Hi,
>							I'm new to this board, but I thought I'd share my (I think) very
>romantic idea.  I have never asked out a guy before, but I am VERY
>interested in someone.  I don't know his name or anything about him.  There
>is little chance that I will meet him if I don't approach him.  So... I am
>going to find out his name and mail him an anonymous letter asking him to
>meet me for dinner at my dorm.  Do you think he will come?  (To the guys)
>What would you think if someone did this to
>you?

well, at first i would think that one of my guy friends was playing
a practical joke on me. I would be very cautious about actually
showing up to the dinner.  It also depends on teh content of your
letter and if you put your phone number in it. Maybe it would be
better for him to call you first and talk to you then have dinner.
My friend pulled a joke on me that was very similar to what you are
planning to do but i saw through it and didn't make a fool of
myself. Whatever you do, good luck. Now if only more girls would be
that 'aggressive'.... 8^) 

Dzu

Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: casey@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov (Sean Casey GSFC (301)286-4558)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Organization: NASA/GSFC-Laboratory for Astronomy and Solar Physics
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 19:32:00 GMT

In article <1992Nov15.151337.13175@bnlux1.bnl.gov>, schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder) writes...
>In article <amymw.721677596@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> amymw@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Amy Wisotsky) writes:
> 
>>A new boy/girlfriend can be found when the person is ready to find
>>one.  It depends entirely on the person in question.  I know people
>>that have started relationships within the same week, and others who
>>are still hurting almost a year afterwards.  I think part of it
>>depends on the length and intensity of the relationship that ended.
> 
>Well, I'm glad to hear that relationships are so easy to stumble upon at
>Brandeis, Amy.  There's a lot of people out there that are "ready to
>find one", but are still alone.  Consider the possibility that you don't
>live in a college atmosphere anymore where you're surrounded by nothing
>but people of your own age group that you're constantly interacting
>with.  That's the great thing about college, isn't it?  It's just a big
>pool of people that you can go out with on the weekend.  Well, after
>that artificial world ends, your friends might find it difficult to
>meet someone new within the week.
> 
>-- 
>Gary L. Schroeder  		|  

That's for damn sure! And there's an old Irish proverb about dating
in the work place, that is

"You don't buy your meat where you get your potatoes".

(And I should note that women are less the receptive to relational
advances in the work place as well - which is rightly so, see
above!)

SC

Any comments from the lurking women about meeting guys at the work
place? (It's not my cup of tea...)

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen)
Subject: Romance is not fiction
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 13:14:53 GMT

	I just read where "romance is fiction"; this is the lie of the guy
who wants to get into a girl's pants, not in her heart.

	John Fippen married and in love 43 years.

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: dks@sr.com (Dave K. Sprow)
Subject: Re: First date on Friday the 13th
Reply-To: dks@srhqla.UUCP (Dave K. Sprow)
Organization: Silent Radio, Los Angeles
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 22:20:32 GMT

In article <16NOV92.00004605@vax.clarku.edu> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>Ok, I had a first date on Friday the 13th.  Is this a good thing?
>
Only if she's a witch :-)

>/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
>|  \  /                                                              \  /  |
>|  /  \               From the Desk and Mind of Mitch                /  \  |
>|   /\                                                                /\   |
>|  \  /                   MCohen@Vax.Clarku.Edu                      \  /  |
>|   \/                                                                \/   |
>|            Any opinions expressed are clearly someone else's!            |
>\__________________________________________________________________________/

David S.


Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: allanl@microsoft.com (Allan Lockridge)
Subject: Being Alone?
Date: 17 Nov 92 02:06:28 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corporation
Distribution: usa


oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:

>In article <amymw.721677596@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> amymw@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Amy Wisotsky) writes:

>>A new boy/girlfriend can be found when the person is ready to find
>>one.  It depends entirely on the person in question.  I know people
>>that have started relationships within the same week, and others who
>>are still hurting almost a year afterwards.  I think part of it
>>depends on the length and intensity of the relationship that ended.

>I'm not so sure about that.  My first serious relationship lasted over a
>year.  It was three years before I dated again.  The last serious relationship
>lasted nearly five years and I started dating two weeks later.

>I do think that a lot of it depends upon being in the right place at the 
>right time.

Its been just under ten years for me and still counting.    I guess this is
an unusual amount of time.  Oh well, this dry spell shouldn't last much longer
than.  Not really sure why its happened, but I am getting pretty use to being
alone a majority of time.  That helps to make things a little easier to deal with.



-- 
Allan Lockridge -- Allanl
From: csr4@po.CWRU.Edu (Christopher S. Redding)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Help, I need advice...
Date: 17 Nov 1992 03:58:39 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: csr4@po.CWRU.Edu (Christopher S. Redding)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc5.ins.cwru.edu



	I just developed a very close friendship with someone that I am
very interested in, but there is a problem. I have already attempted to 
become romantically involved with her, but she politely told me she liked 
us better as friends even though she was interested herself. The reason
why she did not want to start a relationship was because she abruptly ended
one about 3 months ago for no specific reason, and she still has this other
person in her heart. This other guy is dating someone, and he treats her like
yesterday's trash, but there are sometimes when she REALLY hates him, and there
are sometimes when she doesn't know how to feel about him. How can I persuade 
her to put this other guy out of her mind? She will not start a relationship
on such shaky grounds. If I can do that, how do I tell her how I feel, already
failing once? Please send me advice, or post it here. Thanks in advance.
				-Chris (lonlier than ever)
				csr4@po.CWRU.Edu
-- 
"Feeling a little down? Do what I do, look in the mirror and say to yourself,
 'I can cope! I can cope! I can cope!' Then go back to bed, that's enough for
 one day"
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14474 soc.singles:31709
From: diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 24 Nov 92 02:01:44 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance
Distribution: usa
Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.

In article <1992Nov24.002515.4948@fid.morgan.com> sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart) writes:

	(my description of a rather hectic romantic period in my
		life deleted here)

>And, of course, given the workings of Murphy's Laws, that period was
>when you had 5 term papers, 4 finals, a job, and the flu.
>
>Seth		sethb@fid.morgan.com

How'd you know?  No, actually, just being in the process of deciding
What To Do With The Next 1-5 Years Of My Life (if not the whole 
rest of it) was bad enough when combined with a sudden glut of 
romantic choices, ALL of whom wanted me to come live in a little
white cottage and raise kids, dogs, and blueberry muffins with them.
(Again, I'm exaggerating, but this is how it looked to me then).

				--Diamond

diamond@acpub.duke.edu |   The soul may choose its own society and shut
Elizabeth S. Abrams    |   the door, but the body gets thrown into bed
		       |   with the damnedest people.  --Peter Beagle
From: rickk@public.BTR.COM (Rick)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Though I have released you
Summary: In response to: Why do relationships end
Date: 23 Nov 92 05:39:51 GMT
Organization: BTR Public Access UNIX, MtnView CA. For info contact: info@BTR.COM

Billy C. asks how to find out why relationships ended.

Some years ago, I'd have said that the best way to find out would be
to talk it through.

I've got a different answer now.  My answer now is to sit down 
and spend time reviewing the relationship from the point of view
of "what did >> I << do to contribute to the demise of the relationship?"

It's so easy to blame the other person... and that other person
probably did just about as much to damage the relationship as you
did.  Some of what that person did was probably in response to what
you did, just as some of what you did was probably in response to
things that the other person did.  

But, if your aim is to learn so that the next relationships don't
repeat the same patterns and mistakes, look at your own part in
the problems.

(Which doesn't say there won't be mistakes in the future ...but at
least you won't be smacking your forehead and saying "gee, this 
feels familiar" as yet another relationship goes down the tubes for
the same reasons.)  

    Rick




-- 
Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty!       (rickk@btr.com)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: A <ap.6575@cupid.sai.com>
Subject: Re: Falling in love via phone?
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 92 17:44:53 EST
Organization: Somewhere
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1

In article <1992Nov11.182626.21922@sr.com> Dave K. Sprow, dks@sr.com
writes:
>Honestly, no.  No matter how intimate you may be over the phone and/or
>how much you share with each other, there are just *too* many aspects
>of each other that you don't know yet.  Plus, in the "infatuation/lust"
>etc phase that often characterizes the early stage of s relationship and
>which is *often* mistaken for love, it's almost impossisble to know if
>you love the person at that point.  there's just too much of the
"limerance"
>feelings I mentioned above to know. The only way to really know is over
>time.  Love is a lot of things,...

Dave-

I couldn't agree with you more. Unfortunately, it took going through this
twice
before I realized that the "infatuation/lust" stage can sometimes
overwhelm
a person.  Although I prefer taking relationships slowly; it seems that
everytime I get involved with someone over the net/phone, it gets too far
too fast - with both parties at fault.  I will continue meeting
friends/pen pals
however, when it begins sounding like more, I will definitely proceed much
more cautiously!  I really don't want to go through it a third time. 
Love does
take time and getting to know someone; I usually find that falling in
love comes
after being good friends - a SO should also be your best friend as well
as a lover,
etc. 

I would like to compliment on your views on love and relationships! :-)

             -A
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: Re: Getting Married: Grounds for Insanity Plea?
Reply-To: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 16:17:43 GMT

In article <stone.721680394@cwis>, stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes:>

>Can anyone give me (a minimum) of three good, logical reasons
>why people should marry?

Sorry, but I can't.  The only good, logical reason I know of is LOVE.  But I
think, and know of, lots of people who marry because it's the thing to do.

>cultural institution wherein two people legally bind themselves
>together with a notarized, signed document, 

I've always thought of marriage as a purely legal arrangement.  Now that one
can enforce child support and other legal obligations on a partner without
benefit of marriage, I'm not sure how much importance that license retains.
We all live longer, whereas "til death do us part" used to mean only 20 years
or so, or until the woman died in childbirth, etc.  

>you won't have to go through a ton of emotionally-charged legal
>frabbajab to disentangle yourselves.
>
Well, disentangling is still difficult.  When my ex and I parted ways, we spent
quite a lot of time arguing over who got the copper trivets, etc.;  stupid,
although we were never married.

>your spouse that drive you up the freaking wall; maybe it's the wet 
>nylons she leaves hanging across the shower curtain rod, or maybe  

Why do men find this so offensive?  Just curious!  :)

>it's the way he leaves rings on the coffee table with his beer cans. 

So, give him a coaster.  :)

>So, seriously, folks:  Why the hell buckle yourself into a social
>straitjacket you'll (statistically) probably want out of a few
>years down the road?
>
Because society frowns on people who ignore convention.

IMHO, people expect too much.  A good marriage is a truckload of work and
effort and never a day off.  But if you're in love, you'll do it gladly.

Cheryl
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: I'll Call You
Reply-To: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 16:01:17 GMT

Okay, guys.  What does "I'll call you," REALLY mean.  I'm fairly sure it's a
handy exit line that doesn't really mean anything, and I don't expect much
whenever I hear it.  But I'm wondering if there are any tips on how to tell if
a guy's just saying it or he really means it (aside from the obvious, i.e.
waiting for the phone to ring).  How often have you said it, intending to call,
but then changed your mind?  And why?

This happened to me again this weekend;  went out Friday, guy says let's get
together tomorrow night, I'LL CALL YOU, and then never did (I thought he would,
too).

This is all so confusing.

Cheryl
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Organization: Clark University
Date: 20 NOV 92 14:32:34 GMT

In a previous article, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) wrote:
>In article <20NOV92.00324238@vax.clarku.edu> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>>In a previous article, ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen) wrote:
>>>well folks, since we are on this topic...what are some common
>>>flirting actions that some of you use? i'm curious
>>> 
>> [Stuff deleted]
>>Smile a lot.  And what I've found very important - touch, touch, touch.  
>                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>Do *not* do this in the UK or else we will kill you. Yeurgh. :-)
> 
Oh, how depressing!  You people take romance lessons from Chuck & Die? :-)

/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
| > <    Mitch Cohen * Multimedia consultant * MCohen@vax.clarku.edu       |
|  ^          Any opinions expressed are clearly not my own.               |
|  v     I'll come up with something intelligent to put here later.        |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: gds@york.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Originator: gds@york.cs.ucla.edu
Reply-To: gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Organization: in your face!
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 92 20:45:37 GMT

In article <009639BA.741609A0@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>Everyone's situation is different (I'm SO-less by choice!), but it might be
>worth a minute or two of thought for those moaning that you haven't had a date
>in years...maybe it's time to stop looking for Mr/Ms Right, and go to a movie
>with Mr/Ms It's Saturday.

This assumes the existence of a Mr/Ms It's Saturday who is willing to
go to a movie with you.


Xref: sparky alt.romance:14355 soc.singles:31352
From: aaron@minster.york.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 20 Nov 92 09:53:54 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of York, England

Kevin Brown (kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com) wrote:
: Um, well, it takes a while to become muscular, and I'm not there yet (give
: it about 8 more months).  In any case, the women weren't/aren't going to
: approach me (muscular or not), so it's not like I had much choice in the
: matter.

Obviously you should be a total skinny wimp like myself as I have been
approached. Perhaps it is because I am not threatening?

		Aaron		aaron@minster.york.ac.uk
From: ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: just wondering...
Keywords: friends,love
Date: 17 Nov 92 07:58:58 GMT

hi holks...

   I was here thinking the other day and i was wondering ...

      what is it that makes someone become interested in one of
their friends? is it lonliness? is it seeing them from a different
perspective that they did not see them in before? and how can this
interest turn into love? does the spark subside or does it continue
to grow? 

this happend to me with my ex girlfriend. we had been good friends
before then one day i asked her out and then after that i asked her
out again (kinda the 'oh what the heck, i'm bored this weekend'
attitude) and again and again until eventually we started going out.
anyway she said she needed her space after 3 months (whatta
line...ack) and we broke up. we are still friends and she has gone
through 2 other guys since then (then being august) so i know that
the problem wasn't with me. thinking back on it today made me wonder
and hence my question....any comments or ideas?

dzu

Xref: sparky alt.romance:14386 soc.singles:31458
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: 21 Nov 92 20:57:40 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <1992Nov18.130850.24192@dgbt.doc.ca> michele@dgbt.doc.ca (Michele Guillet) writes:

>I agree with you. I think we forget easily that touch is needed, 
>infants that aren't held don't develop normally. It is sad when the
>house pet gets more attention and touch than the people living there.

True; pets are usually safer and more predictable about how they will
respond to physical contact.  I wish a couple of pet owners I know
thought as I do that the extra challenge of dealing with humans was a
feature rather than a problem.

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"I get so tickled debunking bad personal philosophy." - Milquetoast
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Getting Married: Grounds for Insanity Plea?
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Date: 16 Nov 92 21:49:00 GMT
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Nov14.154254.2722@bvc.edu>, bushmanangel@bvc.edu writes...
>In article <stone.721680394@cwis>, stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes:
>> 
>> So, seriously, folks:  Why the hell buckle yourself into a social
>> straitjacket you'll (statistically) probably want out of a few
>> years down the road?
>> 
>> T.R. Stone 
> 
> 
>I look at marriage as something happening far down the road, when I know 
>enough to realize who I really want to spend the rest of my life with.  

Hey, marriage is a *great* institution ...

.. and you have to be in *love* to get married ...

.. and love is blind ...

So, I guess that makes marriage an Institution for the Blind !

Yeah, it's old but oddly appropriate. :-)

-- Stephen

	Growing up is easier than you think ... one day, you just wake
	up an adult ... and mourn your loss. 
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: Don't blame me, I voted for Bill 'n' Opus
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 19:25:06 GMT

In article <31517@hydra.Helsinki.FI> taina@cs.Helsinki.FI (Juha Taina) writes:
>
>I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net.  What
>is the value of them?  Would you also hug and kiss a stranger in real
>life?

As a matter of fact, yes.  Take a look at my .sig.....
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
specification is that it should run noiselessly.
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14440 soc.singles:31593
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs? (apology)
Date: 23 Nov 92 16:04:20 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T

In article <5=31hhf@rpi.edu> petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>
>  Ok.  I am very sorry that I am an annoying little pain in the ass with no
>social life and very few friends.  Also, I am sorry that I accused people and
>flamed without reason.  Yes, I get no caring from people, so I have to take
>whatever I get.
>
>  I HAVE NO ****ING LIFE!! OK!! YOU HAPPY?!?
>
>  You are much better than I---I am a wuss who should be shot, if murder were
>legal.
 
Attention please. Anyone near the vicinity of Chris, please remove all
sharp objects.
 
Here's a big soc.singles kiss and hug. *kiss* *hug*
 
Now doesn't that feel better. We were only kiddin. All we do is kiss
and hug. All the time. No shit.

 
================================================================================
 Ipsissimus of the Inner Order of Sesquipedalian Fruitcakes 
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Plea
Date: 20 Nov 1992 13:48:44 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.41

In article <00963CC9.28D2E000@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>In article <1edhgoINNj9t@bHARs12c.bnr.co.uk>, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
>>In article <1992Nov18.010332.12466@cs.uwp.edu> itzenhui@cs.uwp.edu (Steve Itzenhuiser) writes:
>>>
>> [Stuff I said: deleted (best place for it!)]
>
>IS it truly normal to be scared to death of the man/woman of your dreams? 
>There's a guy who practically gives me panic attacks, and for the life of
>me I can't figure out *why*.  Is this the reason?  TELL ME!!!

Yup, that's the reason. Bound to be. Straight up, no messing. :-) It's
what *I* find anyway...

You have to be *attracted* to them as well, of course. Otherwise it's
probably more likely they are a mugger.

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance