From: n2413@cray.com (Jo Theis)
Subject: ATWT:  Lurkers' Night Out
Date: 29 Jul 92 07:57:09 CDT


Greetings, Inmates!  Here is a bio from my downstairs neighbor, a
lurker confined to solitary.


Hey Wardees,

   Greetings from solitary confinement.  Security is so tight down
   here that I am unable to sneak out to post messages.  However,
   I have determined that the isolation ward --- my cell in particular,
   happens to be located directly under JolessJo's room ... You
   should hear what goes on up there after lights out!!!  Anyway,
   I've established a means of communication with JolessJo ...
   I tap on the ceiling, she stomps on the floor (You are stomping
   aren't you Jo, or am I interrupting something.)  Then she converts
   my taps to these messages and graciously posts them for me.

   There are those in the "soapdom" realm that believe JolessJo
   suffers from multiple personalities and I am just one of those
   personalities.  Possibility.

   Either way, my medical records list the following :

   Name    : Steve Rodgers
   Weight  : 175 lbs
   Height  : 6'0"
   Eyes    : 2 - Sparkling dark brown - its the pills, you know.
   Hair    : 142,389 - mostly brown.  Not much to fill the day down
                       here in isolation.

   Hobbies : Racquetball
             Weight lifting
             Country/Western dancing (This boy even knows the
                                      Achy Breaky)
             Pro-Wrestling (Hey Rowdy, lets hit a match if I ever
                            get out of here)


   Medical History
   ---------------

   1979 - 1984
      Model patient.  Pleasantly interacts with all other patients.
      Seems to be addicted to soap operas, in particular, As The
      World Turns and Edge of Night.

   Dec 28, 1984
      In an effort to ween patient from his addiction to soap operas,
      doctors have cancelled the Edge of Night.  BIG MISTAKE.  Patient
      takes a major nose dive into depression and has to be separated
      from the other patients.  Solitary confinement is recommended.

   Feb 1985
      Doctors agree to show reruns of the Edge of Night to patient
      until suicidal tendencies subside.  All further cancellations
      of soap operas have been vehemently opposed by the doctors as
      future treatments/experiments.

   July 1992
      Patient seems to have made progress through the years.  Only
      addiction that remains is to As The World Turns.  Occasionally,
      patient makes reference to the Edge of Night, but that is to be
      expected.  Patient even uses the fast forward button on the VCR,
      typically during Mustang Ranch scenes, to the delight of the
      doctors.  This is a major break through, although persistent
      tapping upon the ceiling seems to be a problem now.

   BTW, Major Possible Spoiler :
 
      Word around solitary, and I concur, is to look for a major
      storyline involving KlingonKris.  The untapped, raw talent
      of this dimunitive actor is about to be unleashed.

      EVIDENCE : DATELINE Monday July 28, 1992 :
                    "I'm thirsty."

      Its the way KlingonKris makes you hang on every word that is
      so delightful.  Look for some emotionally charged scenes as
      KlingonKris takes on Juicy for control of Girlwide and Krueger
      Industries :

         Juicy : "If you think I'm going to stand by and let you
                  strongarm me out of my business darling, Oh little
                  boy, you don't have the slightest idea of what
                  you are getting yourself into."

         KlingonKris : "I'm hungry."


      Rumors also persist that KlingonKris, after a brief natal
      attraction to Rosehand, engages in a torrid romance with Easily
      the likes we have not seen since the departure of Brock Lombard.
      The chemistry is there and it solidifies the bond between the
      Hughes and Stewart families.


   Well sounds like JolessJo is getting tired of translating (the
   stomping has stopped from up there ... I smell smoke.)  Anyway,
   I've got asbestos all over me now from all this tapping.  Along
   with all the other lurkers, I'll be anxiously awaiting a nickname.
   As always, thanks for your help JolessJo.

Steve


Doc Sam, do you think you could talk to the rest of the staff and
see if Steve could be released?  He sounds perfectly normal to me!

- JlJ 
-- 
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    Jo Theis				Illegitimus non           
    n2413@cray.com			carborundum est     
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Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps