From: mwasson@uhunix.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu (Michael Wasson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: RIP
Keywords: more
Date: 15 Dec 92 18:03:20 GMT
Organization: University of Hawaii

>Liralen hugs her back gently, and some of the patron's might be shocked to
>see that her eyes are completely dry.
>
>She then turns back to the crowd.  "I have..." Liralen's smile goes
>crooked, "I need some help.   I have a friend who is dying of cancer.  He
>has a wife and three kids.  He will be gone in the next month or two, if
>not before Christmas, even.  Anyone have any *good* ideas about what a
>group of 25+ friends might be able to do for him and his family before he
>goes?  I *really* could use some ideas.  We're all in too much shock to
>really think of anything at the moment."

Gecko-boy discreetly orders another of whatever Liralen is drinking.
"Put it on my tab, Mike." 

Then he walks over to his friend and solemnly offers a hug. "Oh dear,
Liralen, this one's hard. The thing you *don't* want to do is get
everybody over to his house only to have them sit around acting sad
and weepy, like a wake before he's gone yet.

"Diamanda Galas may have put it best, with a line about 'smiling, crying
faces who in mourning now have come to pay their last respects.'"

"What is his medical condition? Is he at all mobile? Maybe all his
friends could take him somewhere, to visit a special place that he
loves, maybe somewhere outdoors. (Tho' then there might be a 
problem with winter weather? Sorry if I'm a little out of touch 
being in Hawai'i.) Is he religious? Could everyone organize a
Christmas eve midnight mass or a Channukah observance or whatever's 
appropriate? If something like that would have meaning for him.
Any other suggestions from our fellow Callahanians?"

>"It's funny, I feel a little bit hollow in all this grief that's coming
>right at this time.  I'm the only one that's dry eyed at work.  I'm the
>only one that talks about it in something other than a hushed whisper.  I'm
>the only one that asks, 'O.K.  Now that we *know* he's going, what can we
>do to help the family with the transistion?'  Everyone's looking at me like
>I'm something strange.  Maybe I am."  Liralen's smile doesn't come close
               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>to her dark eyes, "Maybe all that death when I was younger makes it easy
>for me to accept that people die and other people go on."

"No, Liralen, you aren't at all strange. This is a totally normal
reaction -- one I had when my father & his boyfriend got sick --
You're just having a response in a time of crisis that you focus
on the immediate details and what needs to be done *now*. Just
remember that after this is all over it may suddenly hit. Or it
may hit you six months later."

Gecko-boy takes her hand in his scaly one and gives it a quick squeeze,
his eyes glittering. "<sigh> Dear Liralen...."


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Mike Wasson                     | Situations arise because of the weather,
mwasson@uhunix.uhcc.hawaii.edu  | And no kinds of love are better than
University of Hawai'i  -and-    | others....          (Velvet Underground)
Fat Messiah Games               | 
#include <std_disclaimer.h>     | What the--? Web in my eye!? (Dr. Octopus)
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Newsgroups: alt.callahans