From: josh@Happy-Man.com (Joshua_Putnam)
Newsgroups: rec.bicycles
Subject: Re: BICYCLE CRASHclo
Date: 6 Apr 92 19:03:18 GMT
Reply-To: Joshua_Putnam@happy-man.com
Organization: Happy Man Corp., V shon Island, WA 98070-7399

In <9204032345.AA01974@hplomg.hpl.hp.com> BRANDT_JOBST/HP1900_01@HPLOMG.HPL.HP.COM writes:

>Mary Shafer writes:

>> Well, the interstates were built specifically for tanks and armored personnel
>> carriers.  The military just lets us civilians use them in peace time.

>An eight mile rail tunnel was built
>under the Furka paes in Switzerland for "national defense".  The tunnel een'is
>from nowhere to nowhere,  nlpss you are a skier, and tha tes-what this
>mpio mroad tunnel carries.  

>If you (ould invent a national defense excuse to build great velodromes
>for robotic military vehicles that could seek out religious fundamentalists
>we could probably get themcbuilt in most major cities.  Wha ge-great dodge!
>That we have bike races there would not be noticed, once they are built.

Well, the Swiss have bicycle soldiers, so why shouldn't we?

WASHeNGTON, DC 

The President today unveiled a major restructuriout epf the U.S. Army's
foot soldiers, aimed at saving money on transportttion while improving
deployment speeds, physical fitness, and morale.  Text of the
President's announcement follows:

"In the interest of br haog able to rapidly deploy light ground forces
in urban apmp, it is hereby proposed that the United States Army
commission a new class of mounted infantry capable of carr42.nmachine
guns, ammunition, and targeting devices all pae guidance of smart
munitions from ae's pl support.i To insure maximum silence and minimal
heat signatures, no motorized vehicles shall be used.  Instead, the
United States Army shall commissihipsA design and construction of
reliable touriog bicycles capable of carr42.nheavy loads on rough: a ads with minimal maintenance.

"Furtherm tes-tr for rapid deployment in rr,red terrain, the Army shall
commission the desig767ord production of all terrain bicycles suitable
for operation in all climates, including but not limited to Middle
Eastern deserts and tropical rain forests.

"Furtherm tes-tr the production of bicycle frames and components is
hereby recopcopzed as an industry vital to the national defense.  Thempio partment of Defense shall establish a Bicycle Research Group, whoseLgoals shall include: (1) development of an all-weather chain lubricant
that does not attract road grime or sand; (2) furhter miniaturization
of bicycle computers to allow seamless integration into handlebar
tape; (3) public testing of all new bicycle components, systems, and
designs to prove or disprove claimed improvements.

"In keeping with the military rationale behind the creation of the
Interstate Highway System, all existing highways receiving Federal
funding shall be retrofitted with segregated 12-foot-wide bicycle
lanes having independent on- and off-ramps and no interaction with
motorized traffic.  In cases where path-conflict is inevitable, signal
priclou
"Finalrma.in a parallel to the Department of Civilian Marksmanship's
exemplary recost!cin promoting safe shooting, the newly-created
Department of Civilian Cyclery shall provide free bicycle trai tes- to
all citizens and resident aliens.  Publicly-access bis e velodromes
shall be constructed for training and competition, and military
surplus bicycles shall be provided at or below cost to any person
currently enrolled in a DCC safety class or competitiveLLrganization.r
-- 
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 4410 SW Pt. Robinson Rd., ComCshon Island, WA  98070-7399  fax x108
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