From: atdhb@acad2.alaska.edu
Newsgroups: alt.atheism
Subject: Re: DOES GOD EXIST? (Same old pigshit)
Date: 15 Aug 92 05:45:41 GMT
Organization: University of Alaska

Dear THIAGARAJ JOHN : THIRD:

In your first posting, you said "feel free to post your own
personal sincere and well
thought out view point and reasons for your belief."  I replied
with an absolutely brilliant riposte that was certainly sincere
and well-thought-out.  I was sure we would start a *meaningful
dialog.*  You did not respond, and now you make a second posting
in which you ask for "a sensible discussion on some of the proofs
presented below."  Well, my first response was not only
brilliant; it was sensible, too, so I at first I couldn't
understand why you ask for more instead of responding to the
first.  Then I figured it out.  Don't have to hit me on the head
with no brick.

Undaunted, I'll respond to your more recent post point-by-point
in the hopes that you will come out from behind Herbert W.
Armstrong's skirt and show yourself.  (By the way--do you have a
scanner or do you type in those little booklets word by laborious
word?)

You (or Armstrong) said:

> Samson got his strength from his hair.  Moses got his 
> wisdom from his beard.  It has been shown 
> conclusively (see the Shroud of Turin) that Jesus had 
> exceptionally long genital hair, and that was where 
> his divinity came from.

I'm too polite to laugh at this, but the Shroud of Turin has been
shown to be a fake.

> While Herbert W. Armstrong is bereft of head and 
> facial hair, and advanced age has robbed him of pubic
> hair, he still retains a fair amount of anal hirsuteness 
> and therefore is more than qualified to interpret 
> Christian dogma.

You call that proof?  Before I'll concede Armstrong's hotline to
God, I'll have to see these alleged hairs.

> Jesus never married, and was thirty before he left his 
> mother.  Several real babes (such as Mary Magdelene) 
> tried to seduce him to no avail.  Jesus, therefore, was 
> obviously a homosexual.

I have three responses:  (1)  There is no evidence that Jesus
actually existed, and if he did nobody ever saw him in Key West;
(2) So what?  Many of history's greatest people have been gay,
and (3) Your including Jesus in the  homosexual population will
offend many, many gay people.  I suppose Garner Ted Armstrong has
never made a pass at a choir boy, huh?  Yeah, sure he hasn't.

> The age of the earth can be accurately determined by 
> counting backwards from 127 and dividing by nine.

Not being a mathematician, I was not able to work this one out. 
But I do know that there are a lot of tricky little parlor games
you can do with the number 9 so I'll have to take this "proof"
with a grain of salt.  What about it, math people?  Is this guy
telling the truth?

> Some contend that Jesus was a Jew; still others say 
> he was Black.  But we now know that Jesus was a 
> Mexican, and we know this because so many people 
> in Mexico are named "Jesus" (pronounced, "Hey, soos!")

That explains the bottle of taco sauce in da Vinci's "The Last
Supper," a huge wall painting in which the subjects can be seen
arguing over the last enchilada.  (Little-known fact:  da Vinci
wanted to call the mural "The Ultimate Enchilada" but was
dissuaded by the Pope, who wanted to call it "EH!  VITO!  PASS
THE PASTA, EH?  YOU GONNA SIT ON IT ALL NIGHT, OR WHAT?"  Look at
the painting and see if you can tell which guy is saying this.)  

Is it true Jesus turned the water into Dos Equis?

> God created the world in five days, then flew to Palm 
> Springs for a weekend with Barbara Bush.

Let's leave politics and family values out of this.  There is
absolutely no justification for this unfounded rumor, even though
your creation time-table and Mrs. Bush's birth certificate make
the event certainly possible.

> John the Baptist was Sophocles' inspiration for 
> "Oedipus Rex."  That "leaping in the womb" sequence 
> takes on a new meaning when one considers this 
> proven truth.

Just because it's possible doesn't mean it happened.  (Although,
personally, I believe this one, even though Sophocles predated
John the Baptist.  But details of time and dates never bother you
guys.)



I hope you'll take this "personal and sincere, well-thought-out"
note in the spirit in which it was intended--ridicule.  I hope
you realize someday that all your religion (Christianity in
general and Armstrong in particular) is, in reality, pigshit, and
that your postings make you a pigshit-monger.  (Do I have a way
of turning a phrase, or what?)

The original Armstrong postings were wrong in just about every
conceivable way.  Practically every sentence or phrase was in
error, and many of the "proofs" were out-and-out lies.  If there
were a god, he wouldn't allow the use of such mendacity and
distortion to promulgate his message.  The Armstrongs are a
family of money-grubbing whores (no offense to those of the
oldest profession, a profession far more honorable than hustling
religion [the second-oldest]) who, like all religion-mongers, do
far, far more harm than good.  If you really believe the crap
you've been posting, John, I despair of knowing where to begin
your education.  

It's a pathetic commentary on the state of human mental evolution
that there are still bumble-brained people who believe this
religious pigshit.  We have a long, long way to go, John.  Please
get the hell out of the way.

Don
ATDHB@acad2.alaska.edu