From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Date: 16 Dec 92 17:04:55 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Dec16.055755.8269@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>In article <1992Dec15.194604.26101@linus.mitre.org> lkahn@mitre.org (Larry Kahn) writes:
|>
|>Seems to me it shouldn't matter who asks who, you both want to spend time 
|>together.  IMHO the truly objective approach would be to split it up 
|>approximately according to income.  Not that I think you have to go into 
|>great details, but if one person is an attorney (ugh) and one is a teacher 
|>something like a 75-25 split might be in order.
|
|The more I read about this, the more unnecessarilly complex it seems--

I agree.  That's why I *sarcastically* brought up the suggestion of the 
Pre-Dinner contract.

|personally, I think a reasonable rule of thumb is, if you're going to 
|ask someone out on a date, the activities you suggest ought to be 
|within your budget.  Certainly your date might offer (or even insist)
|on paying at least a portion, but you shouldn't put yourself in either
|an emotional or financial position where you'll be put out if it's your
|treat.
 
This makes a lot of sense.  Before anyone jumps on Trygve by saying "but 
you make a lot of money and I am just a poor grad student" read the text above
which begins with personally and ends with budget again.  It's a pretty
good rule of thumb.  When I go out to dinner at a restaurant, whether it`s
dutch or I'm paying, I will choose a place that I can afford to order anything
that I want off the menu on that particular night.  Why go to some fancy
place and then be restricted to ordering the cheapest items on the menu and
have to rely on your date to drop the tip.  Choose an activity for your 
date that is more inexpensive.  Tell her that you are un/underemployeed but
still would like to take her out.  If she won't go out with you unless you
take her to the finest restaurant in town....dump the bitch.  

|>And another thing, why do women expect you to open the car door for them just because they're female?  If there's a good reason (like you're carrying a pizza or physically unable to, sure I'd do it (for a man also)), but I don't think women should be treated THAT differently just because they're women.
|
|I don't know that many women *expect* car doors opened for them (any more
|than they expect the Spanish Inquisition); yet, for some reason, doing nice
|and courteous things that make someone you care about feel good is fun.
 
Just the other day I was heading for a door that a woman had just gone through
from the other direction.  She stopped, turned around, and just barely grabbed
the door before it closed.  She held it open for me as I passed, and apologized
for *almost* making me open the door myself saying how rude it would have
been if she let the door close in front of me.  I wasn't carrying anything.
She was just being polite.  Politeness is OK in the 90's.
 
-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+