From: dchan@cisco.com (Derek Chan)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.hongkong
Subject: Re: MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER!!!!(plus seeking for advice)
Date: 9 Oct 1992 18:20:55 GMT
Organization: cisco Systems, Incorporated
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: lager.cisco.com

In article <1992Oct2.164213.5613@gw.wmich.edu>, x91woo@gw.wmich.edu writes:
|> In article <1992Oct2.174131.25188@menudo.uh.edu>, zhangn@orchid.egr.uh.edu (Zhang) writes:
|> > Yah, love is of FATE, nothing else.  After my former girlfriend found
|> > another boyfriend(I even can not tell who he is because it is too painful
|> > for me to even think about!), I had been depressed for three years, and
|> > though I feel a little better, I still miss her a lot.  However, I try
|> > not to think of her too often.  Every year's 7/12, I celebrate out first
|> > dating, and this year, i sent a letter to her through my best friend(a
|> > girl).  She did not reply, and I did not expect and did not want her to
|> > reply either.  I know that she has already forgotten me, I know that.
|> > She is the kind of girl that likes a lot of guys accompanying around her,
|> > but I do not mind because I only know I love her.  Maybe she has never
|> > loved me, maybe she just wanted to have fun.  But how can I ever forget
|> > those beautiful days and nights that we spent together? Not in this life!
|> > Love is really painful after all the sweetness has gone as time passes
|> > by.  Sorry for saying so many irrelavent words, but I really can help
|> > myself.
|> 
|>  Don't forget you have another chance to meet some other girls who might happen
|>  to be even better than your last one. As for me, we broke up because my room-
|>  mate jump in while I was back in Hong Kong during vacation, then I transfered
|>  to other school, met another girl who I think is much better than my ex, I'm
|>  not just talking about how they look, but also how they treat me too !!
|> 
|> > Btw, as I mentioned before, my best friend happens to be a girl.  We had
|> > been out several times, usually with other friends, but sometimes just
|> > two of us alone.  I know she likes me, but I am trying to convince
|> > myself just treating her as a friend, not girlfriend('cause falling in
|> > love again is really scary).  We are now separate by the Pacific ocean,
|> > but we write letters and call each others very frequently.  Can any one
|> > tell me what should I do?  I am kind of lost.
|> > 
|> > Jacky
|> 
|>  I don't really suggest a long distance relationship, in my case, we've been
|>  togther for 6 years, and we had a long distance relationship for 3 years, then
|>  finally we could be togther again, and only 4 months, we broke up. Usually,
|>  for long distance relationship, the chance to meet each other is limited, so
|>  when they meet, they will show their best, you will never see the worse side.
|>  Also, both of you will change, when you get back together finally, one might
|>  not adapt to the other's change easily, so the relationship will be very weak
|>  a while after you get back togther, of course it might depend on person.
|> 
|>  In your case, if you really really like her, you should give it a try cause
|>  it is very hard to find someone that you really really like, may be it will
|>  turn out great, who knows ? Good Luck !
|> 
|>  Jim.
|> 
|> 
|> 
Jacky, somehow you need to think seriously if you "love" your best friend. If you
don't find her attractive to you(as a lover) you better don't pursue the 
relationship. One way to test it is that ask yourself the question if your ex. comes back to you. Which one will you choose? 

As you mentioned you think "she likes you". In this case you can hurt her a lot if
you will be treating her as a substitute of your ex. Be careful in this kind of
relationship. 

Do you think she's kind of "waiting for you"? If this is the case, you better
explain to her what you have in mind and encourage her to date other guys. If she
is "waiting" for  you and some day you find a new girlfriend, you will have wasted
her those years that she's been "waiting".

Anyway. Keeping a close relationship with an opposite sex is tricky.


Derek 
Xref: sparky soc.culture.hongkong:12460 soc.culture.taiwan:14344 soc.culture.china:27769