From: sfoley@uumeme.chi.il.us (Sean M. Foley)
Subject: Re: Magick
Organization: UUMEME Public Access Xenix
Date: Sun, 27 Dec 92 21:03:34 GMT

In article <1992Dec27.095434.20266@netcom.com> cjk@netcom.com writes:
>
>Please bear with the gross misspellings and gramatical errors.  I have
>left it almost in near identical form as when I wrote it but minutes 
>ago.  I have only edited things would have significantly altered the
>meaning.
>
>Background.  I am at work, alone.  Its late at night.  I posted the
>previous message some hours ago.  (if you havn't noticed I'm responding
>to my own original post).
>
>Below is my experience as written exactly after it happend.  I make no
>claims other than this is what happend as best as I remember.  -cjk
>-------------------------------------------------------------
>I sitting reading some stuff about the 300 club.  I'm on page 90.
>I've been skim reading selective topics, mainly concentrating on
>material that appears factual.  But I have read opions and suppos
>itions wich I immediatly discard as not worthy.
>
>Suddenly, I feel as though somebody has entered the building.
>I rush out and check.  Key chain in hand (my weapon) I survey the area.
>I look in corners, shadows, the place is lit, but dimly.  There are
>windows all around.  I enter back in the main room, feel something brush
>my back, could be the door.  I am frightend but ready to face whatever.
>Suddenly I open up, I feel what might be hundreds of people looking me over
>examining me, I feel like they are determining my worth.  I am elated now.  
>I am very excited.  Wave after wave of gooseflesh covers me.  I feel joy, 
>happiness.  I call to them, Judge me! come, Judge me! Judge my ? can't quite
>remember the word, could have been value, could have been worth.  But not
>exactly sure.  I leave and go to the back room.  I'm talking with some
>leader.  Told that I need to kneel,  I try to meditate cause I'm very excited
>now.  I see what apears to be many toungs of flames (cartoon variety) or
>just red wavy horizontal lines.  I'm really trying to control my breathing
>now.  I'm using my martial arts skills (i'm a brown belt) I relaxe.  It is 
>then I am told that I am on the plane of fire.  And to swear my oath.  At
>that moment I realize that others have been sent to deter me.  To trick me
>to tempt me, they tell me I am hearing lies.  I know not who to listen to.
>Then in the blackness (and the wavey lines) I can make out a form.  It rises
>from the bottom.  It is broad shouldered, humanoid in sillioute (thats all I
>can make out)  the head is very narrow.  I am very afraid, even now as I 
>write this.  I keep repeating my oaths to secure me.  Back to the story after
>I identify the head as very narrow,  Its almost rectangular.  almost
>robotic. I am kneeling east, I'll get the exact compass direction later.
>It is identified to me but I cannot remember the name, I believe that this
>actualy good. (that I can't remember his name) Any how I am told to dedicate 
>myself.  I feel that there is a sword over my neck, my head is bowed my 
>eyes are closed, I am intensly concentrating to keep the imagery in tact.  
>I feel like one wrong move and I'm dead.  I say some words (they are english) 
>it is my dedication prose? I feel many people both good and evil are watching 
>me, I say more words that involve lightness and darkness the evil/dark ones
>are telling me things.  I'm confused, I swap darkness for lightness in one of
>my oaths.  I hear a hiss, the hair on the back of my neck stands up.  I come
>out of the tempory slumber the darks one put me and and remember my blunder
>I quickly correct it,  I tell them I choose Light, Accept me or kill me!
>Sounds brave but I am really scared at this point.  Tears are flowing in
>face.  I look out (with my eyes shut) I still see darkness.  I repeat what
>I remember of my dedication prose.  The words are different, corrected mayby
>but of the same direction.  Except the word knowledge that I place in my 
>prose quite liberaly, I change to light when trying to go by memory.  At some
>point, mayby right after my blunder and correction I repeat, light is truth
>light is truth, light is truth.  I repeat it an unknown amount of time.
>I've been hyperventalating, I control my breathing even more, steady rythimic
>In throught the nose, out through the mouth, from deep down a draw the breaths
>from deep down I expell them.  I am asking where is the light, where is the
>light, all I see is darkness, all or almost all have drawn back.  A few are
>still close by.  All I can see is deep wide darkness, I ask for the light,
>ask for the truth.  I realize that though I may be controlling my breathing
>my body is stiff and I am not relaxed,  I relaxe,  I still see darkness, I
>continue to ask for the light, then my head starts to lift up slowly, evenly
>like it was being guided.  The more my head leans back the brighter the light
>gets.  I'm really hyperventaling this time, I warn them watch it guys, this
>may injure me.  They assure me that I am no harm.  My body feels very light
>except for my legs.  wich are leaden like.  I feel waves of gooseflesh again
>as I think people are touching me.  I sense some dissapointment but Am told
>that everything is alright.  I am told that I can open my eyes any time I
>now, but I hesitate.  I want to know more.  My mind is speaking to me, 
>It is telling me many things all of which I cannot remember.  I decide that
>really this is just the beginning and more is to come.  But don't know when.
>I decide to open my eyes and get up.  I then realize that the radio is 
>playing (has been playing so no mystory there).  I take note of the song
>whis is "a Whole new world" for the disney production of aladdin.  I think
>that that should be a good omen.  I am told it is.  I then sit down
>walk around again feeling not scared anymore.  I try and decide if I should
>write it down, I decide to.  But before, I feel as if something is trying
>to convince me not to, telling me, you won't remember anything accurate.
>But As I type, I do remember all but specific names and some other stuff
>that I don't remember at all.  Its like it was dumped into me so that I
>can remember at a later time.  But anyway while I'm writing it I'm very
>jumpy, I'm typing fast and furious, mispelling almost all as I go.  I keep
>feeling spectators popping in in ones and twos to take a quick look at me.
>and then depart.  This makes me scared again.  becuase dome of them are
>good and some are bad or light and dark as Im told to refer to each other as.
>I repeat my dedication prose a couple of more time in between typing.  
>It seems to bolster my courage up.  Finaly, I am at this point.  And 
>I'm going home.  Its sunday December 27.  All this happend in about 1 hour
>or so. so it started at about 12:30am.  Oh BTW, I connected to internet to 
>read the alt.magick group to see if somebody responded to my dedication
>prose.  I would almost swear that after what just happend somebody would
>have posted to me telling me what to expect.  But to my dissapointed nobody
>responded via mail or news.
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Thats it.  I will email responses to any legitemate questions.  But will not
>respond to this thread.  I'll be an alt.magick lurker for a long while.
>
>Light is the truth.
>I need to find my friends.
>
>-cjk-
  I've honestly never seen so much text that said so little.

-- 
| sfoley@uumeme.chi.il.us |       I only look like I have a clue.           |
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                      Love is the Law, Love under Will
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