HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: weekends
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 17:09:47 GMT

gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte) writes:

>In article <p94l8cc@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>>---
>>
>>This, I believe, will solve the problem of whether we should
>>go to their place for Thanksgiving, or continue the tradition
>>of t.b t-days at my place.

>i keep trying to have thanksgiving at scvm's
>house, but year before last his girlfriend
>auntie christ made this weird stuffing with
>grapes in it and evil tracey wouldn't eat it
>because she thought pine nuts were poisonous
>and we caught banzai the scabrous cat licking
>the turkey.  

I've been looking for a quote to put in my .sig.  I think I
may have just found it.  Let's try it:

---------------------------------------------------------------
mark schnitzius                |  "...and we caught banzai the
schnitzi@eola.cs.ucf.edu       |  scabrous cat licking the 
university of central florida  |  turkey."    --hippolyte
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: curtis@berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Subject: Re: this is sho kuwamoto, reporting from the heart of indiana
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 05:03:35 GMT

trn cut this header off to:

"this is sho kuwamoto, reporting from the heart of india."

It had the ring of truth to it - one of those rare & delicate
truths that are too weird to be false.  

Perhaps Sho had joined the Peace Corps.  Posted to some
impoverished leper colony in the dank swamps of Rajasthan.
He clears an airstrip and builds a bamboo radar dish to
bring the cargo planes; slays Sherry Khan the Coppertone
tiger; and, from a bale of chicken-wire and a 1937 Blaupunkt
TV imported from Saarbrucken, die Reich, rigs up the village's
first satellite USENET feed.  

The cargo does not come and they have seen tigers slain
before, but this last earns everlasting respect for the
mysterious foreigner.  As an old man pumps the dynamo bike
in the dusty twilight, the villagers crouch round Sho's
shoulders to bask in the phosphor glow, the wise sayings
of old Mrs. Christy, the mystic words of Rose-Hulman.
Shekhinah!

c
reporting from the spleen of California.
From: mbrockma@bank.ecn.purdue.edu (Matt Brockman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: More rejected game show titles
Date: 31 Aug 92 21:09:18 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network

In article <1992Aug31.085820.28673@news.Hawaii.Edu> patten@lumchan.ifa.hawaii.edu (Brian Michael Patten) writes:
>
>More games shows we are never likely to see on the air:
>  Truth or Torture
>  American Defecators
>  The Price is Your Wife
>  Purging for Dollars
>  Tic-Tac-Blow

  The Joker's Wired
  Classic Constipation
  Leopard!
  The $25,000 Cheese
  Wail of the Century
  To Hell with the Truth
  Hollywood  (luckily :-)
  

===============================================================================
Matt Brockman                                           mbrockma@ecn.purdue.edu
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "While a llama may produce some of the world's finest of wools, prized around
 the world, their breath, on the other hand, could only be prized somewhere in
 the far reaches of llama hell."		  -Agent D. Cooper, TWIN PEAKS
===============================================================================
From: paul@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: uk.misc,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: McDonalds & Bretts
Date: 25 Aug 92 08:29:05 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <18019@acorn.co.uk>, agodwin@acorn.co.uk (Adrian Godwin) writes:
> 
> Is there a Real Burger stall in Cambridge ? I've never found one to compare
> with Bretts, the shack near Oxford railway station .. but I'm happy to keep
> looking.
> 
> Is Bretts still there ? I haven't been there since I moved in 1985 ...

Yes - still as good as ever.

Paul
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: durway@rtp.dg.com (Lizard Knee)
Subject: Re: mind meld?
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 92 19:50:32 GMT
Organization: Employer, Inc.
Keywords: typical oldbie vanity

In article <annie.02sq@canetoad.UUCP>, annie@canetoad.UUCP (Annie) writes:
> 
> gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte) writes:
> 
> #   am i the only person who thinks all the posts
> #   from canetoad sound like they were written by
> #   the same person?
> 
> I don't know whether to to resent that or blush with pride.

Pat yourself on the back.  You've arrived.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (BoBteCh)
Subject: oh dear
Organization: sulphur & oxygen
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 07:50:05 GMT

 
caught myself bitching about the content of the newsgroup again.

i promised myself i wouldn't do that.

back to posting text

BopB
teCh
feat of clay

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (Mcinnes B T (Dr))
Subject: Re: classic usenet insults
Organization: National University of Singapore
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 01:42:12 GMT

Ken Johnson extrudes
[rubbish deleted]
Dear Mr Johnson, if you ever removed your pustular head from your
tapeworm-infested [etc] you would notice that the stench of your
decaying testicles has driven off [everyone who ever read any of your
posts].
	Thank you for providing us with an apt target for a classic
usenet insult. That was bizarre.
From: richard@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Richard Tobin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Biblical advice regarding newbies.
Date: 27 Aug 92 15:46:50 GMT
Organization: AIAI, University of Edinburgh, Scotland

In article <5984@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>  "more and mightier than we: come, let us deal wisely with them, lest
>   they multiply."

Nah, that's the children of Israel, not newbies.  But check out:

 Proverbs  8:11  "For wisdom is better than newbies"
 Proverbs 20:15  "There is gold, and a multitude of newbies"

-- Richard
-- 
Richard Tobin,
AI Applications Institute,                                R.Tobin@ed.ac.uk
Edinburgh University.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson)
Subject: Re: Relief
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 25 Aug 92 14:36:38 CDT

In article <1992Aug25.172024.20429@macc.wisc.edu>, jgh@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JGH) writes:
|> I'm relieved to discover that being universally despised is not as bat 
|> as I thought it would be.
|> 
|> JGH

no...i can't...

c
easy shots like that
just aren't fun
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.wanted.moslem.gay,alt.fan.gooley
From: ricegm@ecf.toronto.edu (RICE George Matthew)
Subject: Re: ORIGINS OF "FAGGOT" 
Organization: University of Toronto, Engineering Computing Facility
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 18:17:18 GMT

In article <act.401.0@csc.canberra.edu.au> act@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops) writes:
>>)superstore and see these rather putrid looking lumps attractively displayed
>>)in pools of gravy.
>>
>>STOP THIS GAY ASHING! AND MAINTAIN SOME KINDNESS WITH RESPECT TO OTHER
>               ^^^^^^
>               Yeah burn the lot, but don't stand down wind.
>
>>PEOPLES OPINIONS!  THIS WORLD IS MADE UP OF MY TYPES OF PEOPLE, YES
>>SOME ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOU, BUT WE ALL HAVE TO GET ALONE IN THIS
>>SMALL LITTLE WORLD WE CALL EARTH, SO SHOW SOME KINDNESS WITH RESPECT
>>TO THE HOMOSEXUAL GAY AND LESBIAN COMMUNITY.  SO DO YOUR PART, AND BE
>>NICE TO A FAG!  YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!
>
>Yeah put them out of their misery.
>
>>PEACE!
>
You will notice that none of them had the guts to post this to
soc.motss.

Matthew

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mperlman@nyx.cs.du.edu (Marshal "Airborne" Perlman)
Subject: Re: THE CREATION OF ALT.FAN.LETTERMAN
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 92 00:08:34 GMT

Remember that skit where dave and paul went to that town meeting and the 
Amish robbed them?
--
Generic Signature:
Marshal Perlman - Huntington Beach - California - USA - Earth - Milky Way
yaW ykliM - htraE - ASU - ainrofilaC - hcaeB notgnitnuH - namlreP lahsraM
                                                        :erutangiS cireneG
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dmccart@gomez.intel.com (D. J. McCarthy)
Subject: Re: THE COMPLETE BRITISH TO AMERICAN DICTIONARY
Organization: The NorWEB Federation
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 22:43:11 GMT

Ceri Hopkins (cah@cs.bham.ac.uk) wrote:
> rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy) said:

>> abstractour	-> abstractor
> ... remainder deleted ...

> I notice the omission of "humour -> humor" in this posting.


	Not "omission", "lack".



--
D. J. McCarthy <dmccart@gomez.intel.com>
And this is artificial moonlight...
                                                         ...and artificial sky.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Jeff Davidson)
Subject: Re: BEST IN BED
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 17:18:00 GMT

Distribution: world

In article <1992Aug25.141645.26666@walter.cray.com> nelson@eastrg1.cray.com  
(Christine Nelson) writes:
*In article <1992Aug25.144310.8554@cs.rose-hulman.edu>,  
jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Jeff Davidson) writes:
*|> Distribution: world
*|> 
*|> In article <l9jkhmINN2if@alcor.usc.edu> rone@alcor.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri)  
*|> writes:
*|> *In article <1992Aug24.142143.6746@walter.cray.com> nelson@eastrg1.cray.com  
*|> (Christine Nelson) writes:
*|> *>>>sc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small) writes:
*|> *>>>Ok, look Christine set's up for a good joke, and YOU FUCKERS GO and
*|> *>>>psychoanalyze the situation. 
*|> *>>That would be the Newbie Way of solving the situation.
*|> *>and how would _you_ solve it, ron?
*|> *>i'm sure his method will include jello in it...
*|> *
*|> *Well, i would use some lime jel-
*|> *
*|> *5150
*|> *never mind
*|> *
*|> How about a bathtub full of buttered, warm spagetti?
*|> ******************************
*|>  the Lost Cause                       
*|> (hardwaire guy extraordinaire)      
*
*no thanks...some girl over in alt.romance is already in it.

Shit, you just *totally* *ruined* my day

--
************************************************************************
 the Lost Cause                       jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
(hardwaire guy extraordinaire)       MACTech,NeXTtech; NeXTmail accepted
                      "Everything is relative."
************************************************************************
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson)
Subject: Re: Wash That Bohemian
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 25 Aug 92 14:08:04 CDT

( Scott Dorsey) writes:

|> >>Angst you glad you use Dali?
|> >Klee, Seurat, Seurat.
|> You've got nothing, Toulouse.
Donatella me. I don't want to know.

 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.config,control
From: mperlman@nyx.cs.du.edu (Marshal "Airborne" Perlman)
Subject: Re: CREATION OF ALT.FAN.LETTERMAN
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 92 00:10:00 GMT

rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy) writes:


>alt.fan.letterman 

>This newsgroup is intended for fans of the David Letterman Show.

>Articles include:

>	interesting upcoming guests
>	typing in the daily top 10 list and other jokes
>	dave's address and how to break into his house.


>hugs,

>mrs. letterman

AHEM..thank you for improving my idea:

Yer mine kinda person <yes, I speak great english, I'm just tried>
(is there two z's in tired?
--
Generic Signature:
Marshal Perlman - Huntington Beach - California - USA - Earth - Milky Way
yaW ykliM - htraE - ASU - ainrofilaC - hcaeB notgnitnuH - namlreP lahsraM
                                                        :erutangiS cireneG
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:28640 alt.flame:12515
From: grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.flame
Subject: Re:  IF IT'S NOT SCOTTISH! IT'S CRAP! (was: Re: STOP this crap)
Distribution: world
Date: 2 Sep 92 20:18:14 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <BtwII0.8v0@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>In <grendel.02z2@canetoad.UUCP> grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance) writes:

(stuff that dumb fuck steve posted)

>   Ahaha - a boar in a mailbox huh? Wow,that's reallll original - that's
>been done thousands of times before my friend - standard sophemore prank.
>Go get some creativity you bore.

>He's not cruel to be fun
>He's not cruel to be interesting
>He's cruel to be boring

Oh Steve, you're so witty. Your so much moooore intellegent then everybody
else. I'm sooooo impressed with you.

Hey, that's sarcasm Steve, you imbecile. The only reason why you're
not in my killfile is so that I can watch as people spit on your
postings every day.

It's kind of like if Hitler was chained to a wall somewhere and
he got to say whatever he wanted but people got to walk by and
spew on him. Now, I could watch that for months without getting
bored with it.

Just like I can read about you getting verbally kicked in the crotch
every day. 

Except, when I think about it, you getting kicked in the crotch
probably wouldn't be that big a deal since, obviously from your
postings, you haven't got anything in your lap except your keyboard.

Who are you trying to fool Steve? 

That's a retorical question you pathetic cretin.  The fact is the
reason that you're annoying to everyone on t.b. is because in real
life you could probably count all your friends on one hand.

In real life you're nothing and the only way you can be anything
is by being a malignant growth on the creativity of others on the net.

I've been reading t.b. for a while and I NEVER see anything original
from you, pathetic little turd. All you do is respond to something
that other people have posted, because like any other contemptuous
freak you don't have an original thought in your narrrow mind.

Still bored Steve?

Good. I'm not finished.

I've met you before. You're the fool in class that believes by saying
you disagree with everything you hear you seem slightly intellegent. You're
the pitiful waterbug mascarading as a human in my office who believes
that talking in a loud voice actually makes you right.

You are an embarrassment to most of the human race, much less the male 
of the species. 

You are only as big as your computer screen.

In effect.....

you're nothing.

But then again in your soul of souls you know that.

Oh, by the way. NOW you're in my killfile.
(*CRUNCH*)aahhh. 
--
"Just because your head comes to a point    | ...uunet!canetoad!grendel
 doesn't mean you're too sharp."            | canetoad!grendel@uunet.uu.net
                              Grendel
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: rewards
Date: 1 Sep 92 17:48:40 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)

On Saturday I took a dangerous curve on a mountain road much too quickly.
My car started to skid.  It responded beautifully when I steered into the
skid, and the anti-lock brakes kept me out of the adjacent creek.

I gave the car a bottle of oil treatment and a bottle of fuel-injector
cleaner as a thank-you treat.

Mark., it was the least I could do
gooley@netcom.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: HOOTERS (not hooters)
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 00:05:37 GMT

In <act.390.0@csc.canberra.edu.au> act@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops) writes:
>I now count three!

How very special!  Let's all have a round of applause for Cyclops here, who,
after only 6 years at Canberra University, has finally learned to count to
three!  Maybe he'll even reach four before he dies of old age!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Re: NOW WE KNOW!!!
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 16:50:15 GMT

jcoates@ncrsmg.DaytonOH.NCR.COM (Jim D Coates) writes:
: 
: I've got it! I've got it!
: 
: I know who Rictus Hep is!
: 
: Rictus Hep rot13'd twice is Rictus Hep.
: 
: RICHH rot13'd twice is RICHH.
: 
: Therefore, RICHH is Rictus Hep!
: 
: 
: Wait - cj rot13'd twice is cj, so cj is Rictus Hep.
: 
: No, wait - Starcap'nRa rot13'd twice is Starcap'nRa, so Starcap'...
: 
: I'm so confused.
: 
: Never mind.

Jim, you have, by your own path, come to the realization that Rictus Hep is
not merely one of us, but all of us.  All of us, even Laurie 8 and Cyclops,
have the Hep-nature.

--
---Alfvaen(a.k.a. Nysinra, rot13 Psycho)
"While we talk, I will hit your head with a nail
 to make you understand me"  --Ivor Cutler
Current Album--Chris de Burgh:Crusader
Current Read--Charlotte Bronte:Villette
From: rone@aludra.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Safe, legal rape
Date: 2 Sep 1992 22:54:48 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu
Keywords: sarcasm

In article <BtyI0J.LsB@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> ata@sage.cc.purdue.edu (ata boy) writes:
[stupid article]
>ata boy
>It worked for the pro-abortionists

talk.drivel and alt.utter-bilge will be created soon, just for you.

5150
now where's the control-k key... ah there we go
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Subject: Re: THE DAN QUAYLE DICTIONARY
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 19:33:35 GMT

In article <5v#ntrp.rdc@netcom.com> rdc@netcom.com (Roger David Carasso) writes:
>dant@techbook.com (Dan Tilque) writes:
>)Has anyone else noticed [...]
>Has anyone else noticed [...]

Has anyone else noticed the subliminal chants of
"PURU SI BAGOOMBA" whenever the words "Roger
David Carasso" come on the screen?

				--Blair
				  "C'mere, Little Buddy, I got
				   a coconut cream-puff for you..."
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: THE DAN QUAYLE DICTIONARY
Date: 26 Aug 92 17:03:12 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


In article <1992Aug26.134919.17708@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>
rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:

#  HAW HAW HAW
#  I GET IT!@#
#  ...
#  HAW HAW JUST LIKE POTATOE!@!# HAW! I GET IT.

Why, thank you.  We follow-up fanatics, pedlars of humour and slingers
of slogans welcome appreciative comment from our readership.  We are so
pleased that you have enjoyed your brief excursion into talk.bizarre and
we look forward with pleasurable anticipation to receiving your enormous
payment. 

Now  Fuck Off [TM].

-- Ken "the door is the wooden thing in the wall" Johnson

-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:27905 misc.test:10236 alt.test:11213 alt.newbie:103
From: song@magneto.physics.auburn.edu (Paul)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,misc.test,alt.test,alt.newbie
Subject: Relief
Date: 29 Aug 92 01:28:38 GMT
Reply-To: song@magneto.physics.auburn.edu (Paul)
Organization: Auburn University, Auburn, AL
Message-I.D.: <1992Aug27.165133.8558@cs.rose-hulman.edu>Lines: 2

do you know what's the difference between `fool' and `dummy'?
From: dolan@XENON.BERKELEY.EDU (Kent Paul Dolan)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: inlines
Date: 27 Aug 92 14:12:31 GMT

ata boy scribes:
> WE'RE FIERCE!  WE'RE FEMININE!  AND WE'RE IN YOUR FACE!

(several times, in fact), to which Mike Clemens counter-scribes:

> WE'RE PRE-PUBESCENT!

Now around Casa Xanth, nothing is more likely to elicit the magical
heart freezing spell "Julie's Raised Eyebrow of Scorn" than for a
certain xanthian to mention his conviction that somewhere in the
future awaits his destiny: to be carried away by nude, bimbo, 15
year old rollerbladers with intentions of ecstacy.

May be why finding the money in the household budget to replace my
stolen rollerblades has been so tricky.

Kent, the man from xanth.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: john@lightning.mmm.ucar.edu (John J. Allison)
Subject: short shameful confession
Organization: STORM Project Office, NCAR, Boulder
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 04:24:05 GMT

After viewing approximately 250+ episodes, I am
beginning to enjoy watching "Charles in Charge".

-- 
----\
-jja
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Bang Bang Shoot Shoot (was: Re: Activist shot at Berkeley... )
Date: 1 Sep 92 20:30:01 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


In article <1992Sep1.182201.27727@mercury.unt.edu>
chris@ponder.csci.unt.edu (chris gleaves) writes:

#  I can just see someone saying, "Pardon me sir, but you must have crawled
#  into the wrong window since this is my house." At which point the
#  intruder will probably do one of two things:
#  
#            1) jump back out the window and run his ass off.
#  
#            2) whip out a gun/knife and wound/kill you.

This line of approach to a burglar had never occurred to me.  Courtesy
in all things. 

Of course, far and away the most likely outcome is (1).  In the event of
(2) looking likely to occur, you must somehow stall the burglar while
you fetch your gun.  After all, you weren't expecting this to happen;
you thought you were going to spend the evening ironing your
girlfriend's skimpy underwear and checking with her that it hadn't
shrunk too much.  The gun is in the drawer with the potatoes and the
baking trays....  Oh! Red faces department, it isn't and you need it
urgently...  Just a moment, didn't you use it two days ago for stirring
a tin of paint? Maybe it's under the sink with the paint roller. 

-- Ken "I suppose it would keep him amused while he waited for you to
   shoot at him" Johnson


-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Planning the department picnic
Keywords: tuna sandwiches
Date: 27 Aug 92 10:42:09 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


From a leaflet advertising project-management software:

        `Whether you're building an air-plane [sic] or planning the
        department [sic] picnic, [this product] helps you manage every
        facet of your project, from presenting the big picture to
        tracking the small details.'

Your homework is to write an account of AIAI's six, count 'em, six
managers organising the Department [sic] Picnic. 

Background information: this Department is surrounded by sandwich shops
and is less than 1 Km from Greyfriars Churchyard, The Meadows and
Princes Street Gardens. 

-- Ken "as for trying to get them to spell `aeroplane' right, I throw in
   my hand" Johnson


-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
From: jgh@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JGH)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Relief
Date: 25 Aug 92 19:15:48 GMT
Organization: University of Wisconsin Academic Computing Center

I'm relieved to discover that being universally despised is not as bat 
as I thought it would be.

JGH
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: john@lightning.mmm.ucar.edu (John J. Allison)
Subject: top 10
Organization: STORM Project Office, NCAR, Boulder
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 19:01:23 GMT

My Top Ten Favorite Disney Movies:

10. The Absent Minded Professor
9.  The Apple Dumpling Gang
8.  The Black Hole
7.  The Shaggy Dog
6.  The Parent Trap
5.  A Monkey's Uncle
4.  the Kurt Russell college campus formula movies
3.  Tron
2.  The Jungle Book

and my all-time favorite Disney movie:

1.  Freaky Friday
-- 
----\
-jja
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre