From: mprisco@lynx.cat.syr.edu
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: re:vacation from hell
Date: 14 Sep 92 18:19:27 GMT
Organization: Syracuse University

Keywords: 

In article <1992Sep10.223036.17907@inmet.camb.inmet.com> mazur@inmet.camb.inmet.com (Beth Mazur) writes:
>In article <1992Sep9.135315.1552@newstand.syr.edu> mprisco@lynx.cat.syr.edu writes:
>>Maybe you're right, Steve.  I didn't think of it that way.  I think what
>>really bugs me is that I really felt like I lost control in the
>>chinese restaurant -- I'm not a control freak, but its nice to have 
>>some self control...
>
>The truth is that you had the control you wanted at the time, no?  If 
>someone had told you that the fried rice would be $50, you would likely
>have said "no thanks."  Similarly, if you knew you would be violently
>ill if you ate the rice, you also probably would have skipped it.  So
>what made this situation different?  Well, if I knew, I'd make a million
>dollars, because I think that, whatever it is, it afflicts millions of
>Americans who *say* they want to lose weight, and then proceed to
>*behave* in a way that they *know* will prevent them from losing.

yeah, but it isn't this kind of extreme behavior that caused me
to gain the weight in the first place (I've had a weight problem
since I was 6).   What happened is Boston is that I realized I
was really hungry (hard to tell since I rarely get that way) 
becuase I was crabby and head a headache, so I suggested we look
for some frozen yogurt.  That escalated into having a "snack"
at the chinese restaurant (I didn't want to but our friend did).
Then when I ordered won ton soup, he refused to order the same
thing (that was what he was gonna order...) so I felt obligated
to share mine....  Then when my husband's fried rice came
and he and our friend started digging into it (we were all
hungry!)  hunger just took over.  It would have been
the same if Tom had that burger and fries handed to him in
the store.

I agree that it is my responsability, but maybe self-control is
the wrong phrase.  I really lost it.  I seemed to have lost
the ability to say "how much of this should I eat?"  Maybe,in
the case of food, that just happens (as opposed to say, alcohol,
which the body doesn't need to survive) and maybe that's why
its not possible to directly apply some of these self-help techniques
to dieting (although there are alot of places where they do
apply.).

>
>Like me, for instance.  I have been fighting my overeating for all my
>post-puberty years (that's over 20 years).  Why struggle?  Because I
>want to be thin and have what thin people have.  <Please--this is not
>an invite for a "you have to be happy at your current weight" lecture.>
>Why struggle?  Because even though I supposedly want to be thin, I am
>often unable to "delay gratification" when food is in front of my face.
>
>The Rational Recovery folks talk about their first step (they have 11 
>compared to OA's 12) as being something on the order of "I accept
>responsibility for what I eat, for ultimately I am in control of my
>limbs and mouth" rather than the bleak "I am powerless over food" of
>the OA camp (like it was Entenmann's who was stuffing donuts into my
>face the other night...).
>
>Anyways, the RR folks talk about the "beast" who is that inner voice
>that goads you into eating.  Frankly, I like "inner child" better (although
>I am not a big "recovery" fan).  Picture a two-year-old in a supermarket
>screaming for candy.  Picture the mother or father giving in, because
>they cannot successfully discipline the child, who then gets worse the
>next time.  I think that is the underlying problem with overeating.
>We have the screaming "inner children" or "ids" or "child ego state"
>or whatever your favorite psych theorist may call it who have gotten
>really good at getting their way in a supermarket (as Tom can attest),
>a restaurant, at home, at work, and, my personal favorite, in the car.

While I don't go for the psycho-babble, I do agree that we control what
we eat/do.  Maybe that's why this incident bothers me so much.  I'd
been exercising so much control over the past 9 months that I 
really felt like I'd lost it there.  I can't honestly say that
I "wanted" only that little control.  I really felt out of control.
I attribute some of it to the self-pity thing (I'm sooo deprived) but
I think alot of it was just hunger.    I'm pretty good at
recognizing when I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I really 
didn't see this coming.  

What I'm saying is that alot of what you say is true and I've been
applying it in the past 9 months.  I just felt like what 
happened in Boston was different...

Margot


>

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