HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ian@gomez.Jpl.Nasa.Gov (H. Ian Novack)
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Organization: Earth Observation Data Systems Grp, JPL
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 15:10:28 GMT

In article <92328.081756EWN1@psuvm.psu.edu> <EWN1@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>In article <By23A9.HD1@cs.psu.edu>, chronos@dev-null.phys.psu.edu (Jerry 'Love
>Doll' Winner) says:
>>
>> What about that song about breaking up that goes:
>>        It's like walking in the rain and the snow
>>        and there's no place to go.
>>        anf it feels like part of you is dying.
>>        You look for the answer in her eye
>>        You think she wants to break up,
>>        instead she wants to make up.
>
>"The Things We Do for Love"?  Can't remember who wrote it, though.
>*************************************************************************

I don't know who *wrote* it, but it was performed by 10CC.  As far as engine
displacement goes, this is rather meager.

You know, I have to wonder if anyone is archiving this thread.  I mean, there
must be dozens of votes in here, and there's no telling how many of them are
actually reaching Dave....

|-Ian Novack (Particle Man)----------------------------ian@gomez.jpl.nasa.gov-|
| "Good people are boring.  Only the evil have style." Jet Propulsion Lab     |
|    -- David Lynch, cinema [europe], 8/92             Pasadena, CA           |
Disclaimer:"Everybody is entitled to an opinion, and yours is wrong." D. Barry|
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: jcc@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Jeremy Caplan)
Subject: Trivia
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 08:13:32 GMT

Haverford.  Everyone knows that.

Jer

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: greens@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Shawn Green)
Subject: Re: The Absolute Worst Song of All Time.
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 04:56:23 GMT

My nomination goes to Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon".  I had forgotten all
about that song until I saw it on MTV's weekend of Triumph & Tragedy, where
they showed the best and worst videos as determined by viewer response.
I think Boy George is in the "Where Is He Now, And Who The Hell Cares?" file.

My therapist says I should be fine after a few months of shock therapy, as
long as I don't hear that song ever again.


Shawn Green
greens@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
From: norbeck@procyon.bucknell.edu (She Who Must Be Obeyed)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: Videotapes of recent TV appearances?
Date: 19 Nov 1992 20:47:32 GMT
Organization: Bucknell University, Lewisburg, PA
NNTP-Posting-Host: procyon.cs.bucknell.edu

In article <lind-161192135513@mac85.ils.nwu.edu> lind@ils.nwu.edu (Jeff Lind) writes:
>I missed both of dave's recent TV appearances, Larry King and the national
>press club.  If anyone has them on tape, I would gladly pay their expenses,
>plus my firstborn child, to get me a copy of either.
>

Same here.  Being without cable makes it pretty tough to get CNN and
CSPAN.  Could any kind soul help me out?  I could send a tape or send
you a chack to get one for me, whichever is easiest.  You'd have my
undying gratitude.


Nancy
norbeck@bucknell.edu



--
|.."I've heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice..|....Nancy Norbeck.....|
|......Krispies."  Charles Emerson Winchester III......|.norbeck@bucknell.edu.|
From: hilary@netwise.com (Hilary Lane)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: The Absolute Worst Song of All Time.
Date: 18 Nov 92 16:31:00 GMT
Organization: Netwise Inc.  Boulder, CO

In article <BxvrAx.2rD@acsu.buffalo.edu> v059nrcg@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Mike Vago) writes:
>Ever since Our Hero asked his loyal following what the worst song in
[stuff deleted]
>	As for the worst lyrics, they belong to a song called Ain't No
>Sunshine, which boasts this chorus:
>"I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I know, I know, Iknow, I
>know, I know, I know, I know I know, I Know, I know, I know, I
>know, a-now leave the young thang alone, ain't no sunshine when
>she's gone."

I sent this one in, too, only I didn't know the name of it, nor did I know
the artist. Glad you knew (I just gave him the gist of the song, saying there
were 47 "I know"s in the lyrics).


-- 
Hilary Lane
Netwise, Inc., Boulder, Colorado
hilary@netwise.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: jcc@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Jeremy Caplan)
Subject: Re: Sending a letter to Dave regarding exploding objects
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 16:52:24 GMT

In article <mjenkins.722015858@cunews> mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson) writes:
>I'm shipping off another letter to Dave today, with some articles on
>exploding things. I thought I should let you all know so you can watch
>for my name in his column <g>

Where should we send things for Dave?

>Barry column." So my editor told me to call Dave up and get a quote!
>(I did, but I only got the machine. He never called me back. Oh well).
>
What's his #??
(grin)

>I also asked Dave to pop up here and give us repeated convulsions with
>his mere appearance. :)
>
>Michael

That'd be cool.

Jer

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: lind@ils.nwu.edu (Jeff Lind)
Subject: Re: Trivia Question
Followup-To: alt.fan.dave_barry
Organization: Institute for the Learning Sciences
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 15:25:00 GMT

In article <K49SBDM1@cc.swarthmore.edu>, mvolkme1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Maura
Volkmer) wrote:
> 
> 
> Could that college be Haverford? 

Yes, you all win.  It's Haverford College, in beautiful Haverford, PA.  (Is
this in the FAQ?)  Dave might just be our most famous graduate. (We kicked
out Chevy Chase, so he isn't a grad)  Sure, we've pumped-out thousands of
lawyers and doctors and diplomats and stuff over the years, but that's not
important: when you think of Haverford, think of toilet snakes.

> I thought I heard something like that,
> and being over at Swarthmore, it just kills me to think of Dave attending
> our rival college -- I might just have to cheer for Haverford at the next
> basketball game in his honor (although they'll still lose!) :)
> 																																												--Maura

Much as I'd like to start a Haverford/Swarthmore fight (I mean, dialogue)
and uphold our Fordly honor now, I'm afraid that this is not the place.

By the way, how much did we lose the soccer game by this year?

--Jeff
From: leej@sgi.com (Lee Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: The Absolute Worst Song of All Time.
Date: 23 Nov 1992 19:37:00 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: diver.asd.sgi.com

In article <By5wq5.B6s@techbook.com> dant@techbook.com (Dan Tilque) writes:
><EWN1@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>
>but the Muppets did a great version of
>"In the Navy".  The muppets singing it were vikings and sang lines like
>"you can help your fellow man" while pillaging and burning a village.

The Muppets have done some of the songs and song parodies ever.  During one
of the shows, they cut to a pastoral scene with Muppet sheep roaming about.
(Soundtrack is "Faithful Shepard" by Handel)

Sheep 1 (clearly a male): "Ram"
Sheep 2 (youngster): "Lamb"
Sheep 3 (baby) : "Ding-Dong" 

They do this a couple of times, and then realize what they've got and go
wailing into a beautiful 60's do-wop with the sheep doing the back-up:

 "Ram, Lam, Ramma Lamma Ding Dong"

There was some famous singer doing the lead (I don't remember who it was),
but I do remember rolling on the floor with laughter.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: alrobins@vela.acs.oakland.edu (alrobins)
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester MI.
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 17:24:23 GMT


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: dwhitney@hamp.hampshire.edu
Subject: exit
Organization: Hampshire College
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 14:35:12 GMT

--And now since the Patriots have won their second game (bout time) I'll
send this Barry of the Day:
As in previous years, football will be divided into two major sectors,"college"
and "professional," the difference being that professional players receive
money, whereas college players also receive complimentary automobiles,
although many teams will be hard-hit by the strict new academic regulations
rquiring that a player cannot compete unless he can read most of the
numbers on his gearshift knob.
 
Deb
dwhitney@hamp.hampshire.edu

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: feathers@eskimo.com (Cheryl Owen)
Subject: Re: Dave on Larry King
Summary: not real political commentary
Organization: <<< ESKIMO NORTH (206)-FOR-EVER >>>
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 14:54:13 GMT

  I like Dave Barry as well as the next guy, but he's a writer, a
humourist, a regular guy.  His job is being funny.  It's probably not a
good idea to think that we can discern his true political opinions based
on the jokes he makes about political figures; he's playing it *all* for
laughs.  For instance, he's hardly the first comedian to say that it
would be desirable to make Dan Quayle permanent VP; that has been
suggested by very non-Republican comedians MANY times - not because they
have Republican leanings, but because Quayle was such a comic
inspiration.  The "failed Clinton presidency" is for laughs.  It's also
a way of poking fun at George Bush's "failed governor of a small state"
rag.
   I heard him speak at Shoreline CC here in Seattle a couple of years
ago, and he sure didn't sound like a Republican to me.  Besides, who 
*cares* what his political affiliation is - being funny doesn't make you
politically astute.  It's not reality, it's Dave Barry!
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: dant@techbook.com (Dan Tilque)
Subject: Re: The Absolute Worst Song of All Time.
Organization: Pseudopolis Yard
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 09:22:12 GMT

<EWN1@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>I just *had* to add to people's suffering by pointing out that no one
>has mentioned "Macho Man" by the Village People as being the worst song
>of all time (and it IS!! :-)).  Actually, everything ever written by
>the Village People is awful (remember "In the Navy"?  how about
>"YMCA"?).

I can't argue with "Macho Man", but the Muppets did a great version of
"In the Navy".  The muppets singing it were vikings and sang lines like
"you can help your fellow man" while pillaging and burning a village.

Personally, I'd have to say that "Don't Worry, Be Happy" (is that by
Bobby Goldsboro?) must be the worst.  I mean, what other song is
justifiable cause for any felony on the books, up to and including
illegal use of nuclear bombs within the city limits.

---
Dan Tilque    --     dant@techbook.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: julieann@cmhcsys.cmhcsys.com (Julieann Fitchwell)
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
Organization: CMHC Systems
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 14:03:33 GMT

> The other one that comes to mind (only vaguely, fortunately) was a song
> by Linda Ronstadt entitled "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me", which contained 
> something resembling the following:
> 
>   Well he picked me up and he put me down,
>   He was a credit...to his gender.
>   Really put me through some changes now,
>   Sorta like a...Wearing blender.
> 
> Aaarrrgh!  Like a blender?!  (Not sure if I have the
> brand spelled right, maybe Waring?)
> 
   Hey, wait a minute, I've got to jump in on this one now. Up until you
   netters mentioned Poor,poor pitiful Me - I was in total agreeement
   with your worst song nominations. 
   Poor, Poor Pitiful Me is a Warren Zevon tune!!!! Not Linda Rondstadt-
   she just sang it. When taken in the proper context of Warren Zevon-ness
   the words "... wearing a blender..." make perfect sense and are no where
   near to being the worst song of all time. 

   After all, he's just an excitable boy. And I'm sure Our Hero knows this
   and understands.

   (Ignorance is no excuse.)

    Had to get my 2 cents and MHO in. Thanks.
    JulieAn
> ---------------------------------------------------------------
> | Brett B. Doehr           Martin Marietta Astronautics Group |
> | Voice: +1-303-977-1504   P.O. Box 179  Denver, CO 80201 USA |
> | Fax:   +1-303-977-1530          Internet: doehr@den.mmc.com |
> |    "What's wrong?!  I'm used to being the weirdest guy in   |
> |     the room, and suddenly I'm not even in the running!"    |


-- 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
|                 JulieAnn C. Fitchwell                  |
|                  CMHC Systems, Inc.                    | 
|                  5500 Frantz Road                      |
From: janiceg@marvin.Eng.Sun.COM (Janice Gelb)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
Date: 23 Nov 92 18:09:01 GMT
Reply-To: janiceg@marvin.Eng.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: marvin

In article 11197@cmhcsys.cmhcsys.com, julieann@cmhcsys.cmhcsys.com (Julieann Fitchwell) writes:
## The other one that comes to mind (only vaguely, fortunately) was a song
## by Linda Ronstadt entitled "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me", which contained 
## something resembling the following:
## 
##   Well he picked me up and he put me down,
##   He was a credit...to his gender.
##   Really put me through some changes now,
##   Sorta like a...Wearing blender.
## 
## Aaarrrgh!  Like a blender?!  (Not sure if I have the
## brand spelled right, maybe Waring?)
## 
#   Hey, wait a minute, I've got to jump in on this one now. Up until you
#   netters mentioned Poor,poor pitiful Me - I was in total agreeement
#   with your worst song nominations. 
#   Poor, Poor Pitiful Me is a Warren Zevon tune!!!! Not Linda Rondstadt-
#   she just sang it. When taken in the proper context of Warren Zevon-ness
#   the words "... wearing a blender..." make perfect sense and are no where
#   near to being the worst song of all time. 
#

No, no, no, you young'uns: that's "Like a Waring blender," which is 
the name of the sort of generic blender company (sorta like "Frigidaire" 
for a while there was the generic refrigerator company).

Back to all-time bad songs, how about some applause on the meter 
for Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical"?



********************************************************************************
Janice Gelb                  | (415) 336-7075     
janiceg@marvin.eng.sun.com   | "A silly message but mine own" (not Sun's!) 
********************************************************************************
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 08:00:39 EST
From: <EWN1@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: The Absolute Worst Song of All Time.

I just *had* to add to people's suffering by pointing out that no one
has mentioned "Macho Man" by the Village People as being the worst song
of all time (and it IS!! :-)).  Actually, everything ever written by
the Village People is awful (remember "In the Navy"?  how about
"YMCA"?).

And then, for worst lyrics, there's "I'm Your Boogie Man".

You're welcome :-).
*************************************************************************
 Ellen Newman                     | You can name your own salary here --
 LCS - Library Computing Services | I call mine Fred.
 ewn1@psuvm.psu.edu               |       - taken from a Ziggy cartoon
 ************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: mvp@netcom.com (Mike Van Pelt)
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1992 00:36:25 GMT

In article <lh27htINNmkd@appserv.Eng.Sun.COM> janiceg@marvin.Eng.Sun.COM writes:
>Back to all-time bad songs, how about some applause on the meter 
>for Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical"?

Insipid, yes.  Anything by Olivia Neutron-Bomb is insipid.
To be really and truly *bad*, though, a song needs more than 
to just be insipid.

-- 
Mike Van Pelt          | What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth?
mvp@netcom.com         | Judging from realistic simulations involving a
                       | sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we
                       | can assume it will be pretty bad. -- Dave Barry
From: leej@sgi.com (Lee Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Date: 19 Nov 1992 18:31:03 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: diver.asd.sgi.com

In article <19NOV199209082797@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov> isaacman@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov (Subvert the Dominant Paradigm! (301) 513-7769) writes:
>
>          "Timothy, Timothy, where on Earth did you go?
>           Timothy, Timothy, God what don't I know?"
>
>Anybody else out there remember this tender ballad?

Watch out, triva buffs.  The song came out around '71, by a band called the
"Buoys", on an album called "Dinner Music".  They were, not surprisingly,
a one-hit wonder.  Actually, I *enjoyed* the song - it had a beat, you could
dance to it.

I think when DB is talking about worst songs, he's thinking of the really
*insipid* stuff such as "Billy don't be a hero", "Seasons in the Sun",
"Muskrat Love", etc.  

I mean, he probably *LOVES* Timothy, and (my personal fave) "The Fish-head
Song" by Barnes and Barnes: "Fish heads, Fish heads, roly-poly Fish heads.
Fish heads Fish heads, eat them up, yum."

Regards, Lee


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: lind@ils.nwu.edu (Jeff Lind)
Subject: Trivia Question
Followup-To: alt.fan.dave_barry
Organization: Institute for the Learning Sciences
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 19:52:18 GMT

Trivia question:  What college did Dave attend (class of '69) ?

Hint:  I graduated from there and he spoke at graduation that year ('91).
							(We gave him an honorary degree.  Pretty cool, huh?)

Another Hint:  This was the birthplace of his first band, The Federal Duck,
which came to an end when he and the other members got very drunk and threw
their amps out of the second-story window while screaming "The Who!  The
Who!"

Another (maybe apocryphical) College Story, that is in no way a hint:  Dave
goes into math his freshman year.  This old professor there doesn't
introduce himself or anything, but launches right into his lecture:

PROFESSOR:  Consider the problem of a polygon in n-dimensions...

DAVE:  Why is that a problem?

--Jeff
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: brad@clarinet.com (Brad Templeton)
Subject: Re: The Worst Song Survey and Dave by e-mail
Organization: ClariNet Communications Corp.
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 22:18:31 GMT

Are you serious?  You think Dave Barry doesn't get enough mail in paper
form that he needs E-mail from the world?
-- 
Brad Templeton, ClariNet Communications Corp. -- Sunnyvale, CA 408/296-0366
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: trump@leland.Stanford.EDU (Michael Jason Lewis)
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 03:27:02 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.224907.22048@advtech.uswest.com> jmatthews@uswat.advtech.uswest.com writes:
>Forgive me if this is a repeat - i'm new to this group (but not to being a
>loyal Dave Barry follower, of course) 
>
>how about the absolutely atrocious pop ballad "Seasons in the Sun"?
>It's about this guy who is dying, and includes such awful lyrics as 
>"Goodbye, my love it's hard to die
>When all the birds are singing in the sky"
>
>and my personal "favorite chorus part:
>"We had joy, we had fun
>We had seasons in the sun,
>But the stars we could reach
>Were just starfish on the beach"
>
Hey!  First of all, I believe it's also a poem by Rod McKuen.  And also, the
version by Too Much Joy is really good.  Although that's supposed to be funny.

- Mike Lewis
trump@leland.stanford.edu

P.S.  Anyone know if the Man is coming through the SF Bay area?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: avdh@sunnyboy.cdx (Alain van der Heide)
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Reply-To: avdh@sunnyboy.cdx
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 21:01:07 GMT

In article 21088@gtech.com, lmf@gtech.com (Linda M. Easterbrooks) writes:
>In article <sf30H1W00iV006ToQ9@andrew.cmu.edu> Matthew A Kagle <mk52+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>>Personally, I would vote for "Da doo doo doo, Da daa daa daa" by the Police.
>
>No, has too many different words in the lyrics.  How about the one 
>'Na, na,na,na,na, na,na,na,na, na,na,na,na,na,na'
>
>(Is that a Ted Nugent song?)

No, that's "Land of 1000 Dances", which has been covered by almost as many
bands as "Louie, Louie".  I believe "Land..." is a favorite of Our Hero, at
least he has mentioned it in several columns.

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Alain van der Heide                      |  This is the way the world ends  |
| avdh@dazixco.ingr.com                    |  This is the way the world ends  |
| "The opinions expressed above are mine-  |  This is the way the world ends  |
| mineminemine, and you can't have them."  |  Not with a bang, but with a whi

segmentation fault
core dumped
From: sg@monsoon.com (Sunil Gupta)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: Videotapes of recent TV appearances?
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 11:38:52 EST
Organization: Monsoon Software, Inc.

lind@ils.nwu.edu (Jeff Lind) writes:

> I missed both of dave's recent TV appearances, Larry King and the national
> press club.  If anyone has them on tape, I would gladly pay their expenses,
> plus my firstborn child, to get me a copy of either.

I second that; Jeff can pay all expenses plus his first-born child if
someone can get me copies of these on tape.

Sunil Gupta
Monsoon Software, Inc.
sg@monsoon.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: Duane Pontius <pontius@bartol.udel.edu>
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
X-Xxmessage-Id: <A732533402010E5E@pontius.bartol.udel.edu>
X-Xxdate: Fri, 20 Nov 92 08:32:52 GMT
Organization: Bartol Research Institute
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d11
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 13:29:32 GMT

Did everyone forget that incredibly insipid atttempt to bring mankind
together in harmony known as "We are the World"?  On top of being just
plain awful, it was a me-too effort to jump on the bandwagon started by
Lord Bob Geldorf with "Feed the World."

Also, just to ruin your day totally, anybody remember, "Escape (the Pina
Colada song)"?  Possibly cute on a first hearing, but to this day I will
walk out of any establishment where this song is allowed to continue
playing and complain to the management on the way out.

-------------------------pontius@bartol.udel.edu----------------------

        Adolescence, n.:  The stage between puberty and adultery.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: rdetweil@boi.hp.com (Richard Detweiler)
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 15:28:17 GMT
Organization: Hewlett Packard

In article <92328.081756EWN1@psuvm.psu.edu> <EWN1@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>In article <By23A9.HD1@cs.psu.edu>, chronos@dev-null.phys.psu.edu (Jerry 'Love
>Doll' Winner) says:
>>
>> What about that song about breaking up that goes:
>>        It's like walking in the rain and the snow
>>        and there's no place to go.
>>        anf it feels like part of you is dying.
>>        You look for the answer in her eye
>>        You think she wants to break up,
>>        instead she wants to make up.
>
>"The Things We Do for Love"?  Can't remember who wrote it, though.
>*************************************************************************
> Ellen Newman                     | You can name your own salary here --
> LCS - Library Computing Services | I call mine Fred.
> ewn1@psuvm.psu.edu               |       - taken from a Ziggy cartoon
> ************************************************************************

That was Sweet who performed it - I don't know if they wrote it
or not.  This song shocked me when I found out who was singing
it because their Desolation Boulevard album was one of those
high school play-while-your-skipping-study-hall-drinking-your-
self-silly favorites.