From: rbw@fico.uucp
Subject: rudolph the red
Reply-To: rbw%fico.uucp@apple.com (Randy Wong)
Organization: The Fair, Isaac Companies, San Rafael, California
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 92 03:22:34 GMT



               The Revenge of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 
                                   by 
                               Randy Wong
 

     How proudly he felt leading Santa's sleigh through the worst blizzard in 
memory!  Brightly did his red nose shine!  Its light like a beacon of hope for 
all the little boys and girls in the world that Christmas would come this year 
after all.  Rudolph was full of pride.  "Where are all the name-callings NOW", 
he thought.  "I guess they'll now let me play those stupid reindeer games!", 
although Rudolph admitted to himself that he did not know what reindeer games 
were.  Suddenly, Rudolph felt he was the BDANP (Big Deer At the North Pole.)  
The Big Cheese!  Where would they be now if it weren't for his shiny red nose?
Venison at Santa's dinner table!  The more Rudolph thought about it, the madder
he got.  Even Santa doubted him!  Suddenly, Rudolph extinguished his light.  
"Hey! Rudolph!  Turn your nose back on!  I can't see!"  Rudolph laughed.  
"Okay, fat boy, let's see you steer this baby NOW!"  With all the other 
reindeer totally confused, Rudolph had complete control over the sleigh.  He 
took the sleigh into a deep power dive.  Several reindeer screamed in terror.  
Donner passed out.  Vixen started crying.  Dasher threw up.  Blitzen wetted his
harnass.  Rudolph just laughed.  "That's not the end of this, little kiddies!"
Rudolph threw the entire sleigh into a barrel row, which caused Santa to fall 
out of the sleigh.  "Happy landings, fat boy!"  Santa safely landed on a large 
pile of snow.  "Venison!  That's what's gonna happen to you when I get my hands
on you, Rudolph!  Venison!!!"  Rudolph continued his journey of terror.  He 
steered the sleigh toward the side of a mountain.  "Hey, guys!  Wanna a 
headache?"  The mad reindeer made a sharp turn and several reindeer slammed 
into the side of the mountain.  "Ha, ha, ha, ha!  You guys think I want to 
spend the rest of my life pulling a sleigh with a bunch of losers like you?"  
Rudolph began chewing on his harnass.  "Hasta la vista, babies!"  The harnass 
snapped and the entire sled and reindeer team started to fall.  "So long, 
steaks!"  Rudolph headed back toward the Norh Pole.  "Now, to pick up 
Clarabelle and then we'll split this snow ball!"  Rudolph laughed hysterically 
as he left a heap of reindeer and broken toys in his wake.  

     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

	"Clarabelle!  Clarabelle, pack your things!  We're leaving!"  Rudolph 
quickly looked out the window of Clarabelle's living den.  Soon, the Elves will
be after them.  There is nothing more terrifying in the world than an angry 
Elf.  "Clarabelle, hurry!  The Elves will be here shortly!"  "Rudolph!" a voice
called out.  "We know you're in there!  Come out with your hooves in the air!  
We don't want any trouble!"  The Elves!  "Nuts!  Clarabelle!  It's the Elves!  
We're trapped!"  Clarabelle came into the room with fear in her eyes.  "Oh, 
Rudolph!  Give yourself up!  It doesn't matter just as long as we'll be 
together!"  Rudolph stared at Clarabelle pitifully.  "Babe, you've been 
watching too many cartoons."  Rudolph stuck his head out the front window.  
"All right, you stupid Elves!!  If you want me, come in and get me!"  A big 
surly Elf approached the den.  "All right, Rudolph.  Have it your way.  Come 
on, men!"  A group of mean-looking elves started to march toward the den.  
"All right you guys, you asked for it!"  Rudolph's nose began to glow out of 
Rudolph's nose.  The beam hit one of the Elves.  That Elf instantly 
disintergrated.  Rudolph continued to fire his laser beam.  Elves began to 
disappear left and right.  "His nose is a laser gun!  Let's get out of here!" 
The Elves started to scatter through the woods.  "Ha, ha!  Look at those little
guys run!"  "Oh, Rudolph," Clarabelle cooed, "you were wonderful!"  "Yeah, I 
know!  Let's split, honey."  Rudolph and Clarabelle made their way out of the 
den on foot (hoof?)  As they made their way across the snow ...  a loud 
thunderous boom!  A huge shadow appeared over the horizon.  "What the heck is 
that?"  "Doesn't matter, dear!  I'll just fire up my nose and blast whatever it
is!"  The shadow was immense!  As the shadow came closer to the reindeer, it 
was obviously reptillian in form.  It was walking very slowly on two hind legs.
"Rudolph, this thing is HUGE.  I'm scared."  "No sweat, babe.  I got my nose 
remember?"  Rudolph fired up his laser nose.  The crimson beam fired through 
the air, its light cutting through the night air.  Without a warning, a flame 
came from the giant lizard's mouth and obliterated Rudolph's laser!  "What the 
heck ..."  The giant fire lizard was now standing close to the reindeer.  "Oh, 
no!!  It's Godzilla!"  Godzilla looked at the two little specks of the red 
felt, and, with a grunt, stepped on them.  As the big lizard lumbered away, he 
reminded himself that he had stepped on another deer ...  one named Bambii ...


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* Randy Wong               c/o Fair, Isaac and Company *
* rbw%fico.uucp@apple.com  120 North Redwood Drive     *
* apple!fico!rbw           San Rafael, CA  94903-1996  *
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