From: letu1419@hgc.edu (T)
Subject: Re: [joke] student bloopers
Organization: N/A
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 02:06:40 GMT

In article <2195@unet.UUCP> hoan@moe.net.com (-Dinh Hoa`n) writes:
>Repost with permission from a friend.  You'll like it.
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>One of the fringe benefits of being an English or history teacher is 
>receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. 
>I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from 
>certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers from eight 
>grade through college level.
> 
>Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
>
>The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of
>the human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at
>Wittenburg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, 
>being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in
>the female nude that made him the father of the Renaizzance.
>
>Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
>The government of England was a limited mockery. Queen Elizabeth was
>the "Virgin Queen". When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops,
>they all shouted "hurrah". Then her navy went out and defeated the
>Spanish Armandillo.
>
>The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare.
>Shakespeare never made much money and is famous only because of his
>plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies,
>comedies, and errors. The next great author was John Milton. Milton
>wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
>
>One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put 
>tacks in their tea. Also the colonists would send their parcels through
>the post without stamps. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer
>had to pay for taxis.
>
>Abraham Lincoln became america's greatest Precedent. Lincolon's 
>mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built
>with his own hands. He said "In onion is great strength." Lincoln 
>wrote the Gettysburg Address while travelling from Washington to 
>Gettysburg on the Proclamation. Lincoln went to the theater and got
>shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The
>believed assasinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor.
>This ruined Booth's career.
>
>Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel.
>Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. Bach died from
>1750 to the present. Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. he
>was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even
>when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later 
>died for this.
>
>The sun never set in the British Empire, because the British Empire is in
>the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoia was the longest queen.
>She sat on a thorn for sixty-three years.
>
>The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thought.
>The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
>Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a
>hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code of telepathy. Louis Pasteur
>discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the
>Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx
>became the Marx brothers.
>

Hi There,
  
I vote this article the SCV funniest joke in 1992.  Can we have some more ?

Joke lover