From: mazzarel@spam.berkeley.edu (Ariel Mazzarelli)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: seconding the motion....
Date: 8 Nov 1992 23:54:48 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley Math. Department.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: spam.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov8.180633.23395@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu> rdavis@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (Robert Davis) writes:
>Better yet: alt.politician.stupid.jesse-jackson
>
>>ObJesse: [while arguing against the building of a North Carolina Zoo]  We
>>	 don't need to build a zoo in Ashboro.  All we need to do is to put
>>	 a fence around Chapel Hill!
>
>Now that was a good suggestion.  I'd like to suggest the same thing for
>Baltimore... we have quite a few areas that need to be fenced in to keep
>the animals where they belong.  We could also reduce crime in the better
>areas by restricting access to mass transit vehicles from dangerous, zoo
>(or jungle) like, areas of the city.  It's already at the point where you
>almost need an armored tank to drive through this town and its suburbs.
>
Oh,  I see now.  You can't leave your room.  It's just too dangerous.  So you
stay inside,  get all your sensory inputs from Limbaugh on the telly and your
new friend,  the net.  

Then one fine day you discover alt.fan.dan-quayle.

Yipee!!  Finally a newsgroup for ME!  I just knew that there had to be people
out there who felt that The Vice President Of The United States Of America was
a caring,  intelligent man.  

One that would guide us through the wilderness and jungles of our land,  
infested with people that just don't deserve the right to life,  liberty,  and
the pursuit of happiness.  I won't bother to enumerate them,  since we all know
who they are.  [Here's the abstainer's drinking game:  You watch the Limbaugh
show;  if you see a "dark" face in the audience,  or a ponytail,  or  a
combination of beard and earring,  you drink.]

So when that net prompt comes up with afdq,  you joyfully press that "y" key
and get ready for some good ol' fashioned catharsis.

Alas,  your group has been taken over by the savages.

They're so disrepectful  (btw the politically correct term is "irreverent").
They think they're smarter than the VP.  Hah!  You know better.  If they're so
smart,  how come THEY'RE not VP,  eh?  Can't answer that one,  can you? 

You mull it over.  You could just unsubscribe.  Hell if you knew enough about
the net you could start alt.real.fan.dan-quayle.  But that wouldn't do any
good.  You can't fence in a newsgroup like you can daddy's neighborhood.
The savages would just crash your party.

<sigh>  Oh,  to return to the good ol' days.  Back when Granpa  (Jefferson
Davis to the soiled masses) tried to do the right thing.  Well,  we're not
giving up!  Someday things will be right again!

So thus emboldened by ancestral memories,  you take it all on.  Liberals,
logic,  reality... nothing will dissuade you.  Tact?  Heh.  We don need no
steenkeen tact.  Accuracy?  Hey that just gets in the way.  Just regurgitate
Limbaugh's dicta.  Hell it's the only place where you can get the TRUTH 
nowadays.

>ObJesse-Jackson: [imitating his true feelings] "Ah hates da whites,
>ah hates dem Jews, but ah loves bein' front page news."  There you
>have it, part of the Jesse Rap, from the man who admits that he spit
>into the food that he was preparing for white people when he worked in
>a restaraunt, and doesn't regret doing so.  He's one of the worst racists
>this nation has seen since Malcolm X.
> 
Well too bad you couldn't find an actual Jesse Jackson quote.  Darn it,  don't
you just hate it when reality won't cooperate with ya?  I mean,  we all KNOW
Jackson's true feelings don't we?  We know all about that.  We talk to him
and his supporters all the time.  Well we used to in the old days,  when we
actually left the room.  Now we don't get a chance to,  but Rush keeps us
up to date.

And ain't it funny how the two worst racists we can think of are African
Americans?  What a funny funny world.

Ariel
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle