HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: alex@cs.adelaide.edu.au (Alex M. Farkas)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Foreign language signs
Keywords: foreign
Date: 29 Sep 92 03:53:08 GMT
Reply-To: alex@cs.adelaide.edu.au
Organization: Adelaide University, Computer Science Department.
NNTP-Posting-Host: heruka.cs.adelaide.edu.au

Sign seen on road going from Rennes to Paris:

[Sign with arrows pointing in a number of directions]


+-------------------------+
|      ^    ^     ^       |
|      |    |     |       |
| <- TOUTES DIRECTIONS -> |
|                         |
+-------------------------+
	|        |

(Toutes directions = all directions)

Obviously not quite all ... but thanks for the tip ... ?

-- 
 ___________________________________________________________________
|               | When all else fails, let a = 7. If that doesn't   |
|     """""""   | help, then read the manual                        |
|     |_/ \_|   |___________________________________________________|
|    (|[O O]|)  |whatiwantisapropercupofcoffeemadeinapropercoppercof|
|     |  \  |   |feepotimaybeoffmydotbutiwantacupofcoffeeinaproperco|
|     (  `' )   |ffeepottincoffeepotsandironcoffeepotstheyrenousetom|
|      \ O /    |eificanthaveapropercupofcoffeefromapropercoppercoff|
|       \_/     |eepotillhaveacupoftea!                             |
|     Sa'ndor   |             alex@cs.adelaide.edu.au               |
|_______________|___________________________________________________|
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: clo
From: $ennsnr@brandonu.ca (Neil Enns)
Date: 3 Oct 92 09:28:53 CST
Organization: Brandon University

Now, children, stop this argument right now! We all know that there can be many 
versions of the same story, each equally correct!

-- 
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

    _/      _/  _/_/_/  _/  _/		Reading furnishes the mind only with 
   _/_/    _/  _/      _/  _/		materials of knowledge; it is thinking
  _/  _/  _/  _/_/    _/  _/		that makes what we read ours.
 _/    _/_/  _/      _/  _/			-- John Locke
_/      _/  _/_/_/  _/  _/_/_/		
					Neil Enns, Brandon University
Disclaimer: Huh?			Internet: $ennsnr@brandonU.ca

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
From: i0b8356@summa.tamu.edu (BERRIOS, IVAN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Hello
Date: 2 Oct 92 15:47:00 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Sep30.121339.24730W@baron.edb.tih.no>, dagr@edb.tih.no (Dag Rambraut,o92a) writes...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>>Why not today.
>>Go away.
>Yes, right away.
Yes, but I'm in the way!
From: moursund@hpcvnb.CV.HP.COM (David_Moursund)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Mathematician joke (2)
Date: 28 Sep 92 22:06:16 GMT
Article-I.D.: hpcvnb.61140014
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Corvallis, Oregon

>/ hpcvnb:rec.humor / lsg001@cck.coventry.ac.uk (Graham Wilson) /  5:54 am  Sep 22, 1992 /
>In article <1992Sep19.171903.1501@cs.yale.edu> rescorla@rtnmr.chem.yale.edu (Eric Rescorla) writes:
>>In article <1992Sep19.130021.8900@iccgcc.decnet.ab.com> fatican@iccgcc.decnet.ab.com (Nick Fatica) writes:
>>>In article <16SEP199215193936@utkvx1.utk.edu>, dchatham@utkvx1.utk.edu (Chatham, Doug) writes:
>>>> 	The worst thing about buying a mathematician's product is tearing off
>>>> the 100-page proof-of-purchase. 
>>>
>>>Q: Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?
>>>
>>>A: He worked it out with a pencil.
>
>** No. No. He worked it out in logs

And the *complete* punchline, in case you are interested:

A:  He worked it out with pencil and paper, and it turned out to
    be a natural log.

dm
From: mweinste@pearl.tufts.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Yogi Berra lines
Date: 29 Sep 92 15:15:56 GMT
Organization: Tufts University - Medford, MA

> Does anyone out there have any other Yogi Berisms.  I would love to hear some
> of the other things that he said.

Yogi was a master of ridiculous statements... for a complete list, buy the book
"Angusished English" by Richard Lederer.  It's full of Berrisms, Goldwynisms,
and a bunch of great malapropisms.  Here's one Yogi line:

Mantle: What time is it?
Yogi: You mean right now?

Buy the book... it's worth every penny (it's in paperback, anyway).
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dyck@mpr.ca (Trevor Dyck)
Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
Organization: MPR Teltech Ltd., Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 19:14:58 GMT

In article <18589.2ac98f5c@ecs.umass.edu> rajain@ecs.umass.edu writes:
>In article <1992Sep30.011320.15121@schbbs.mot.com>, CENG51@maccvm.corp.mot.com (Craig Witkowski) writes:
>>>In article 6740@newshost.anu.edu.au, herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriks
>>>>> titus@coombs.anu.edu.au (titus chiu) writes:
>>>>>> herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriksson) writes:
>>>>>>> rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold) writes:
>>>>>>>>s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN) writes:
>>>>>>>>Avoid cascades -- end all your lines with ``purple''!
>>>>>>>"Bug" won't rhyme, but do you think "burp"'ll?
>>>>>>Cant find a rhyme, why not ask Steve Urkle?
>>>>>And get him to sing the Yankee Doodle!
>>>>gotta say finding a rhyme is a battle!
>>>And take the choicest cuts of cattle!
>> In your car blast Heavy Metal
>First, I got a score to settle $
Since when does "settle" rhyme with "purple"?

-- 
Trevor Dyck (dyck@mpr.ca)      | "The number of Unix installations has grown 
Advanced Technology Division   |  to 10, with more expected" 
MPR Teltech Ltd. 	       |  -- The Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition,
8999 Nelson Way, Burnaby, BC   |     June, 1972
From: jcc@waikato.ac.nz
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: REQ: list of smilies
Date: 3 Oct 92 20:00:32 +1200
Organization: University of Waikato, Hamilton, New Zealand

could someone please post here or mail me that latest list of smilies? I must
have missed it because I didn't log on for a couple of days. Cheers.

John
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers
From: st1ns@elroy.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 01:27:00 GMT

In article <1992Sep27.140720.16158@news.columbia.edu>, lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes...
>In article <0TuqRB2w165w@quest.UUCP> srhqla!quest!kdq writes:
>>Boinger@myamy.hacktic.nl (Paul Kolenbrander) writes:
>>
>>Yes, it must come as quite a shock for people who are used to having to
>>hit the reset button every few minutes to realize that most Mac owners
>>don't know where their power switch is.
> 
>Please tell me where the power switch on Mac owners is; there are a number
>of these people I want to switch off.

It's not ordinarily in a location that you'd want to use any body part to 
actuate.  I've found that you can usually induce a reboot by applying a few
milliamps across the back of the neck, though.

Of course (ObMacBashing) the average MacLuser can't tell the difference between
system lockup and normal operation anyway.  Besides, a power switch is well 
beyond their technical capability.  That's why it's labelled 0|1 instead of "off"
and "on".  They're almost as bad as (ObMicroslothBashing) Windoze-watchers.  You
know who I mean.  The ones who complain that file transfers take forever, but 
brag about how they can play Solitaire in the foreground while they wait.  I used
to know an Amiga-bigot, too.  Then (ObAmigaBashing) he found out how to turn it 
on, and discovered that he would actually have to PAY for programs to do all the
stuff the salesman said it could do.

ObNonSequitur:

Never marry a woman who already has cats.

ObJoke:  My GPA.
From: rajain@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: <None>
Date: 6 Oct 92 09:02:05 GMT
Article-I.D.: ecs.18670.2ad1560d
Distribution: world

In article <1992Oct5.200519.1807@ucbeh.san.uc.edu>, sauerm@ucbeh.san.uc.edu writes:
> I am so horny!!!!!

That makes *three* of us :-)

> 
> 
> I am a single white female withlarge breasts please write me!!!!!!
			     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Please specify, is it:

	a) with large breasts,
    or  b) withlarge breasts ;)

And yes <ahem! or amen>, pleasure in "writing you" (?) is ALL mine

	<grrrriiinnnnn!!!> (damn, this keyboard is sooooo stickkkyy!!))))

> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cosc184z@menudo.uh.edu ((COSC148O) 92F00761)
Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 18:00:43 GMT

In article <g88d4938.17.718125216@giraffe.ru.ac.za> g88d4938@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MR GE DOYLE) writes:
>In article <1992Oct1.185854.12811@welchgate.welch.jhu.edu> davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi) writes:
>>From: davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi)
>>Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
>>Date: 1 Oct 92 18:58:54 GMT
>>In article 2674@mprgate.mpr.ca, dyck@mpr.ca (Trevor Dyck) writes:
>>>In article <18589.2ac98f5c@ecs.umass.edu> rajain@ecs.umass.edu writes:
>>>>In article <1992Sep30.011320.15121@schbbs.mot.com>, CENG51@maccvm.corp.mot.com (Craig Witkowski) writes:
>>>>>>In article 6740@newshost.anu.edu.au, herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriks
>>>>>>>> titus@coombs.anu.edu.au (titus chiu) writes:
>>>>>>>>> herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriksson) writes:
>>>>>>>>>> rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>Avoid cascades -- end all your lines with ``purple''!
>>>>>>>>>>"Bug" won't rhyme, but do you think "burp"'ll?
>>>>>>>>>Cant find a rhyme, why not ask Steve Urkle?
>>>>>>>>And get him to sing the Yankee Doodle!
>>>>>>>gotta say finding a rhyme is a battle!
>>>>>>And take the choicest cuts of cattle!
>>>>> In your car blast Heavy Metal
>>>>First, I got a score to settle $
>>>Since when does "settle" rhyme with "purple"?
>>Does purple rhyme with apple?
>What about apple and settle?
Does anyone have an orange?
From: spence@soma.umdnj.edu (Bill Spence)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request for Eagle jokes
Keywords: Eagle, Frog
Date: 26 Sep 92 18:37:01 GMT
Organization: UMDNJ School of Osteopathic Medicine


A frog was innocently lazing on a lily pad one day, when a huge
eagle flying high overhead swooped down, gulped him up, and just
as quickly began his re-ascent to the heavens.  The frog, who had
been swallowed whole, worked his way through the eagle's alimentary
canal and poked his head out the bird's ass.  Surveying the ground,
which by this time was frighteningly distant, the frog spoke:

"Holy Schmoly! We're really up there!" he exclaimed.

"Exactly how high ARE we?" he inquired of the eagle.

"Oh ... about two, three miles." said the eagle.

To which the frog replied:








"Really? You wouldn't shit me now, would ya?"

-- 
Bill Spence
UMDNJ-SOM Health Sciences Library
---------------------------------
  "How odd, Uncle Bob."  -- Keats
From: cowan@aqua.ocunix.on.ca (Darin Cowan (root))
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Military humor
Date: 28 Sep 92 00:06:35 GMT
Organization: The Aquarium, Ottawa, Ontario

st1ns@rosie.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.) writes:

> And over in Parts, we'd send 'em back with a req filled out and the size spec
> blank empty and highlighted.  That's if we were in a good mood.  If not, then
> had a crate that weighed about 450 lbs that was full of stainless steel 3/8 i
> wingnuts, and I'd send them back with that on a particularly unstable handtru
> That was one of my revenge pieces.  I also had a screwdriver that was over 5 
> long and weighed right at 70 lbs, and a 16 lb rubber sledgehammer, that I kep
> for those frequent visitors who were looking to "borrow" a tool.  No tickee..
>

When I was posted to a radar station in central BC, we used to send off
requests for basically random Nato stock numbers and see what we got...

Usually we got mundane things or the "no such number" type replies.  We
got a note back once asking if we really wanted a US Army jeep or
something similar.

We used to play jokes on the new scope dopes by turning on the test
beacon and electronically moving it around...  Looks like a huge bomber
zipping around a mach 1.5 that never identifies itself and doesn't show
up on SIF radar.


"Capt Cowan, Sgt Bloggins in supply section, your Iowa class battleship
is here, where do you want it" :-)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: eradm@brahms.Berkeley.EDU (Erik Radmall)
Subject: Re: THESE DAMN CASCADES!
Keywords: peche kriek framboise
Reply-To: eradm@brahms.Berkeley.EDU (Erik Radmall)
Organization: Xerox
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 17:30:34 GMT

In article <1992Sep29.135406.6817@newshost.anu.edu.au>, titus@coombs.anu.edu.au (titus chiu) writes:
>In article <1992Sep28.212634.8756@persoft.com> gelly@persoft.com (Mitch Gelly) writes:
>>In article <1992Sep28.025953.123947@zeus.calpoly.edu> jmunch@hertz.elee.calpoly.edu (John Munch) writes:
>>>In article <1992Sep25.235305.982@ttinews.tti.com> sorgatz@avatar.tti.com (sorgatz) writes:
>
>>>>Hey look, it's pretty obvious you people have not been paying attention;
>>>I agree, I think it's about time we hold these reposts up to inspection.
>>I third the motion, we must stop now before we all get an infection.
>I think so too, these cascades are just a stupid addiction.
I think they're more like a social affliction.

>>>>cascades are not a part of the charter for 'rec.humor'. Kindly stop posting
>>>Anyways, all those freshman geeks ain't doing nothing but boasting!
>>I should have been working today but I've really just been coasting.
>while thinking for a rhyme for this my monitor is toasting.
and all the while a stuffed pig is roasting.

>>>>this garbage. There is an alt group called 'alt.cascade' specifically for
>>>As a social elite I can say that people starting cascades are a big bore.
>>This quadruple cascade may only promote a large flame war.
>lame cascades should be against the law.
Hey! it's a whole lot better than reruns of Hee-Haw.
 
>>>>these stupid, run on postings..that goes for you too, Kibo! 
>>>Hey! Do you know about the tremendous size of my libido?
>>To put in this much effort requires a large magneto!
>I wonder how many flame we will see tomorro ;)
That depends on how many lines other cascaders will borrow.

But would a quintuple cascade be out of line?

Xref: sparky rec.humor:30103 rec.humor.d:2334
From: david@c-cat.UUCP (dave)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: ggbj - urgent request!!!
Date: 30 Sep 92 13:11:42 GMT
Organization: Intergalactic Rest Area For Weary Travellers

$ennsnr@brandonu.ca (Neil Enns) writes:

;-) In article <1992Sep24.222603.16891@eskimo.celestial.com>, cerebrus@eskimo.cel
;-) > Here, I'll post if for ya. Hehe. Haven't seen any CIA agents around
;-) > lately, so I don't think anyone will notice. 
;-) > 
;-) > Ok. There is a guy, and his bos, his boss's wife, and the guy's wife. 
;-) > They go golfing together, and it's a particularly sunny day, so
;-) > they head for the first tee. Just as the boss steps up and puts his ball
;-) > down, the guy's wife
;-) > !@#p#121
;-) > NO CARRIER
;-) 
;-) Would someone PLEASE be kind enough to post the ENTIRE joke? I have been
;-) following this for sometime now, and it is REALLY getting frustrating!

Didn't you know ? the joke is on you ;-)   I have been following this thread
for a while. and have come to realize that there is no suck joke that everybody
is talking about... HAHA Very funny people.


                                                       -David

China Cat System     
(301)604-5976 8N1
david@sandr.com 
...uunet!sandr!cherise!c-cat!david
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi)
Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
Reply-To: davidk@welch.jhu.edu
Organization: Welch Medical Library
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 21:31:53 GMT

In article 6899@newshost.anu.edu.au, titus@coombs.anu.edu.au (titus chiu) writes:
>> herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriksson) writes:
>>> titus@coombs.anu.edu.au (titus chiu) writes:
>>>> herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriksson) writes:
>>>>> rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold) writes:
>>>>>>s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN) writes:
>>>>>>Avoid cascades -- end all your lines with ``purple''!
>>>>>"Bug" won't rhyme, but do you think "burp"'ll?
>>>>Cant find a rhyme, why not ask Steve Urkle?
>>>And get him to sing the Yankee Doodle!
>>gotta say finding a rhyme is a battle!
>hava cup of tea and put on the kettle
find a rhyme and test your mettle!

-= An alcoholic is someone you dislike,
      who drinks as much as you do !! =-
From: cobe101@emory.edu (Christopher C. Chung)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: GREEN GOLF BALL JOKE
Date: 28 Sep 92 22:41:34 GMT
Organization: Emory University, Atlanta, GA
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3


I thought is was the PURPLE PING PONG BALL, but I can never

remember.

Ronald Reagan
From: mattb@ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: RACIST
Date: 29 Sep 92 15:12:22 GMT
Reply-To: mattb@olympus.ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Mathematics") writes:
>(Joshua Geller) writes:
>>   this is quite possibly true. in fact, all humor is more or less
>>   sublimated aggression. 
>Oh, it is, is it?
>	A duck goes into a drugstore to get a box of Q-tips.
>	He gets to the counter and the cashier asks him,
>	``How will you be paying for those, sir?''  ``Oh,''
>	says the duck, ``Just put it on my bill.''
>Stick THAT in your theory and flap around like a chicken in heat.

You're telling me you don't see the underlying mutilation, predation, and
beastiality just simmering under the surface, waiting to explode in an orgy
of mixed mallard excretions? I mean, the violence is just around the corner.

To say nothing of the penetration alluded to by the seeminly innocent Q-tips
reference. Humor is sick, sick I tell you!

Matt
Then again, your concluding retort wasn't sublimated, so maybe you're right.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: conradv@eng.clemson.edu (Conrad Vincent)
Subject: Re: Airplane! script
Reply-To: conradv@eng.clemson.edu
Organization: College of Engineering, Clemson Univ.
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 23:59:11 GMT

In article 1LuRRB1w164w@phsbbs.princeton.nj.us, tony@phsbbs.princeton.nj.us (Anthony Foglia) writes:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Can I get a copy too?
>


May I have one too? 

---


" All that is required for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing"
						            Edmund Burke
From: cobe101@emory.edu (Christopher C. Chung)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Cemetery Jokes
Date: 27 Sep 92 20:25:20 GMT
Organization: Emory University, Atlanta, GA
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3


Tomb stone Bumber stickers:

1.)  If you can read this, you're probably standing on my face.

2.)  Honk if you're rotting!

3.)  My other grave is a moselium.

4.)  I brake for corpses.

There.  Enjoy

Chris Chung
.
From: gt8834a@prism.gatech.EDU (William Lang)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: phone answering
Summary: funny ways of answering the phone ... wanted
Keywords: phone
Date: 3 Oct 92 14:13:24 GMT
Organization: Georgia Institute of Technology

I thought I'd seen a list in here a long time ago about different things
to say when answering the phone; i.e. "Joe's abortion clinic, you rape
'em, we scrape 'em" or "In and out burger, may I take your order please?"

If anybody has a list, or just a few on their own... please post 'em.

Thanks.

-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
  FidoNet 1:133/501   The Network 8:7301/501    EGGnet 99:9000/501
uucp:	  ...!{decvax,hplabs,ncar,purdue,rutgers}!gatech!prism!gt8834a
Internet: gt8834a@prism.gatech.edu
From: kdq@quest.UUCP (Kevin D. Quitt)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: WANTED -- list of DYSLEXIC JOKES
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 22:20:22 PDT
Reply-To: srhqla!quest!kdq
Organization: Job quest  (805) 251-8210,  So Cal: (800) 400-8210

cl129501@ulkyvx.louisville.edu writes:
> * Impression of a dyslexic bank robber:
>   < action of person pointing gun to himself > Gimme the money or I'll shoot.

  Not quite apropos:

An <IYFEG> comes home and finds his wife in bed with another man.  He
pulls out a gun and points it at his own head.  His wife starts
laughing.  He says "Don't laugh! You're next!"

 _
Kevin D. Quitt                                 Job Quest (800) 400-8210
srhqla!quest!kdq                               Learn How to Get a Job in SoCal

                96.37% of all statistics are made up.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller)
Subject: Re: true
Reply-To: ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 20:12:46 GMT


In a previous article, ahummel@ems.cdc.com (H. Austin Hummel) says:

>In article <20815@plains.NoDak.edu>, dunne@plains.NoDak.edu (Joseph Dunne) writes:
>|> In article <17700@autodesk.COM> naveen@Autodesk.COM (Naveen Chandra) writes:
>|> >
>|> >
>|> >   The Following statement is True.
>|> >
>|> >   The preceding statement was False.
>|> 
>|> ------><----------
>|> 
>|> This is a contradiction, therefore both statements are false.
>
>Or Ture!   B^)
>

Reminds me of the bit from Star Trek episode "I, Mudd", where Kirk tells
the android "Every word harry Mudd says is a lie", followed by Harry Mudd
telling the android "I am lying".

The resulting logical conflict caused the android to malfunction...
-- 
*...your Friendly Neighborhood Atheist // "Assembly of God???  Strange.. *
*      the KelleyMan:Kelley L. Miller // I was not aware that the diety  *    
*                  ae642@yfn.ysu.edu // was available in source form..." *
****************Know God...No peace.  No God...Know peace.****************
From: neil@cadreor.cadre.com (Neil W. Van Dyke)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Software Engineers
Date: 2 Oct 92 13:31:46 GMT
Article-I.D.: cadreor.1992Oct2.133146.29383
Organization: Cadre Technologies, Inc., Portland Operation

I just saw the following subject line in "misc.jobs.offered":

    Subject: Software Engineer Wanted for Medical Research

Sounds like it's only a short-term position... :-)

-- 
Neil W. Van Dyke <> neil@cadre.com <> +1 503 690 1586 <> Fax: +1 503 690 1320
"My employer disclaims that I even work for them, much less speak for them."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mgoodwin@nmsu.edu (Michael E Goodwin)
Subject: School Bloopers.
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Distribution: rec.humor
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 16:36:20 GMT

I've got the file, and will post it later this evening.
It is rather amusing. :-)

Mike
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cheung@strider.hw.stratus.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: hello
Date: 2 Oct 92 20:20:58 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Cheung's Funky Shop, Inc.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>>>>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>>>>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>>>>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>>>>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>>>>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>>>>>>Why not today.
>>>>>> BTW... :-)
>>>>>Throw the "C" manual away !
>>>>I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
>>>BASIC is here to stay!
>>You crazy?  Pascal will blow you away!
>Assembly language makes my day.
'Cause it's as easy as "piece of cake"!