From: joelp@cs.man.ac.uk (Joel Parthemore || Pharos Project)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: adoptions (was, usenet.age)
Date: 30 Sep 92 19:55:11 GMT

Friendson Mark (markm@ogicse.ogi.edu) (Mark Morrissey), mountain man and
tech queen, writes:

>In article <joelp.717627615@cs.man.ac.uk> I write:

>>Oooh, Mark, if you're looking for an adoption, I'd *love* to be a
>>father.

>Not if you keep bringing up the republican stuff, you're not.

Hey, we all have those embarrassing moments in our past.  Did I ever tell you
I made a ``Nixon Now'' poster with lots of red-white-and-blue flags on it for
my second grade class?  Meanwhile, my cousin was convincing *his* second-grade
class to buck the rest of the school and vote McGovern.  (The teacher wouldn't
let *us* vote, because she said we'd just vote like our parents.  Thankfully,
*my* parents had more sense than me.)

When the third grade teacher asked us what ``Watergate'' was, I had the
closest answer in the class.  (A lot of people thought it was a gate for
letting water through.)  I said that President Nixon had done something bad
and wrong, but he was really sorry, and he promised he wouldn't ever do it
again.

>>         We'd go for long bicycle rides, fly kites in the park

>Did I mention to you that I took up stunt kite flying during the week
>I spent at the south coast this year?  It really is too much fun.

No, you don't understand:  it's not *possible* to have too much fun.  It's
your formerly conservative upbringing I guess.  I'll do everything I can to
help you get over it.

Hey, maybe you could teach *me* about stunt kite flying.  I never got so much
as a simple kite off the ground (though *my* father tried with me one time, in
the baseball lot down Kelso Street, by Paxtang Park).  Would you like that,
Mark?

>>      (you could help me out; my eye-hand coordination is
>>terrible)

>Hey!  Just because I do all this rock climbing and stuff (can you
>say 'dyno'?  Knew you could) doesn't mean that I have good hand-eye
>coordination.  I just have a healthy fear of death (pun intended).

You know how to hang on well, hmm?  Well, it's *all* right:  you can hug me
any time you like.  I'm really down on parents withholding affection from
their children:  got too much of that from mine.  And once I find a Daddy for
you, if your nightmares frighten you too much you can come crawl in bed
between us, and we can all be warm together (he says, remembering crawling in
bed between his parents)....

>>             and I could read stories to you as you sat in my
>>lap! -- THE ADVENTURES OF WIMPOLE STOUT maybe, or A WRINKLE IN
>>TIME.

>You will recall that while I am not taller than you, I am certainly
>bigger.  You would have to sit in my lap.  The we could read the
>adventures of the Falcon men.  A personal favorite.

We can read the FALCON MEN, too -- we can start with them, if you like.  But I
really must insist on your sitting on my lap, never mind if you're a *big*
child.  I can handle it.  Fathers aren't *supposed* to sit on their *sons'*
laps.  What a silly idea!

Why, I was carrying Matthew around on my shoulders last night, and I didn't
get tired.  (He might make a good Daddy, but I don't think he's decided
whether he's bisexual or not, never mind gay, even if he was heartily
extolling William Burroughs to me last night.  Oh dear.  Men can be *so*
frustrating.  Well, just be glad that you have a few more years till you hit
*that* stage....)

>>I'd let you stay up as late as you want (so long as you could get
>>yourself up for school in the morning and not look bleary-eyed!),
>>and I'd try *really* hard not to set down rules but encourage you
>>to make up your own mind!

>That does it!  Ry, would you be my other daddy?  Joel seems to be
>a bit too lax.  My what can of worms have I opened here?

Oh, damn.  Listen to me, you don't *need* discipline, you need *love*.  You
really *need* to make up your mind for yourself.  *When* will you learn that
your elders don't know any better than you do?  I can't give you answers, and
neither can Ry.

I mean, I *like* Ry; he's probably given me the most convincing e-hug I've
gotten from anyone.  But he can be so -- forceful, so *domineering*.  And I'm
really not too sure about his notions of pleasure and pain....  (Kruella,
dear, don't take offense.  And, um, careful with that Rod, please?...  You
shouldn't go waving around something so *big*; somebody might get hurt.)

>>                           I have so many prejudices about
>>parenting, and I'd get to try them all out....

>Me thinks that they are more along the line of fantasies.

Oh, Mark, you don't think....  You don't think I'm like *that*, do you?
(Well, okay, maybe I am.  But I would *never* take advantage of you.)

....

>Well, as long as Tom Chatt agrees to be my conceptual older brother
>(even though I am chronologically older, he does seem usenet.older
>doesn't he?).  Maybe he will take me on a ski trip!  Yea!!

Hmm, you remind me I'll be passing his way in a few weeks (seem to recall he's
in Cambridge).  I should write and see about dropping 'round.

Oh and Mark -- you don't *need* a conceptual mother, unless you really *want*
one.  A father and a Dad can still make a cozy home for you.  If the kids at
school start teasing you, just tell them you've got something they haven't.
Why, they'll *all* be bugging their fathers to get a Dad.

>--mark

with love,

your conceptual father,

Joel,
        who is an extremely damn piddly mood this evening, brightened a
        noticeable degree for hearing from mark