Organization: Ryerson Polytechnical Institute
Distribution: na
Date: Wednesday, 12 Aug 1992 11:24:20 EST
From: <ADVI8737@RyeVm.Ryerson.Ca>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject:     Colours and Sex

    YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR IS THE KEY TO YOUR SEXUAL LIFE

    (hope you had a good laugh or cry......)
RED
Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in
every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take
hours to extinguish. When two Reds get together, the ensuing erotica
could make Lady Chatterley blush. Lovers of Red tend to be the
aggressors and weaker colours should beware!

YELLOW
If you tend to favour Yellow your sexual drivers are complex and lean
toward the adaptable. The favourite colour of homosexuals is Yellow! No
don't panic - not everyone who wears Yellow is gay. In most cases the
person will acquiesce to the stronger partner's desires in a passive
manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn
down an invitation from someone you enjoy or admire.

PURPLE
Lovers of the colour Purple frequently consider themselves too regal for
a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss
their hair. Men are business-like in their approach to lovemaking. In
both sexes, Purple partners are more concerned with their fulfilment
than anyone else's gratification.

BLACK
Black colour preferences point to Black sex. These people are the
misfits of the sex world and seek out each other in kinship. They tend
to prefer perverted sex and are usually masochistic or sadistic in
nature. They are moody people and often perform at their peak when under
stress or during unhappy times. Police psychiatrists claim that many sex
offenders prefer the colour Black. And it is no coincidence that the
uniform of monsters and teenaged gangs is Black attire.

GREEN
Those who prefer Green are fresh and innocent in their approach to sex.
Women who love Green will make love like virgins all of their life. And
a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward, but in a charming and
endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If
chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.

PINK
Persons who like Pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters.
Women tend to tease; to promise more than they intend to deliver. In
some cases, they flaunt their femininity - but because they secretly
hate men. A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire lingerie
wardrobes in Pink. Men who like Pink are philanderers and flirts. They
are the type who will take three dates for the same evening and not keep
one; preferring to pick up a dish in some bar, instead. Women whose
husbands like Pink should keep a secret nest egg for when they are
deserted. Pink indicates a tendency to squander money.ORANGE
People who favour Orange tend to have sexual fantasies. The sex act is
regarded as a dramatic role, a one-act play in which they are the star.
Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings;
meaningless dialogue they feel fits their image. Orange people often do not
experience orgasm, but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their
partner's hair and women leave red welts on their sex partners back. But the
bruises and the ballyhoo add up to nothing.

BROWN
If you love Brown, you are a real treasure for the right mate. Brown lovers
tend to be warm and deep. Sensitive to the needs and desires of their
partners. Sex is a 24-hour a day thing to them. They can't say "I Love You"
often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching
snowflakes on their tongue is a turn on to a lover of Brown. They need lots
of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh
word could end the affair.

GRAY
The colour Gray is preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't get
excited about anything - including colours - so they choose a noncommittal
shade. Men who prefer Gray look at sex as a means of relieving tension,
(nothing more, nothing less). It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Women who
prefer Gray don't make love, they have intercourse. And for one of two
reasons, to accommodate their mate or to become pregnant. They count the
cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. When a
Gray marries another Gray, the marriage is made in heaven. But when teamed
with another colour, the Gray spouse considers the colour's infidelity a
blessing.

BLUE
Lovers of Blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sincere, affectionate and
sensitive to their partners needs. They consider lovemaking a fine art and
their approach is elegant. Men who love Blue are like concert pianists;
delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby grand. Women in
the Blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting partners, but
their passion might be compared to tidal waves rather than fiery aggression.
Both men and women enjoy foreplay and the aftermath of love-making as much as
the sex act itself. In marriage, a Blue person is a wonderful mate - never
failing to please the spouse and never seeking outside interests.

WHITE
If a person in infatuated with White, sex often seems dirty. These people are
puritanical in nature. French kissing is obscene and to make love in daylight
in unheard of. Women who love White will undress beneath the covers. Men will
shower before and after the sex act. These people will use pet names for
their genitals.
Newsgroups: rec.humor