From: laws@ai.sri.com (Kenneth I. Laws)
Newsgroups: misc.jobs.misc
Subject: Re: Guinea pig information...
Date: 6 Apr 92 10:13:23 GMT
Organization: Computists International
In-reply-to: jranders@isis.cs.du.edu's message of 2 Apr 92 06:27:01 GMT


> Jon,

> Here's my [two-pass] stream-of-consciousness analysis of your resume.
> (I've reversed the usual '>' meaning to preserve your formatting.)  Sorry 
> if any of my comments hurt.


The bottom line out of these resumes however is that I am seeking a position
in HARDWARE rather than software.  I have found that extensive programming
bores me, so I made the decision to primarily concentrate on hardware.

> This doesn't come through very strongly.  Note that you mention mostly 
> software in the final section of your first resume.



                             JON R. ANDERSON
                            970 Olathe Street
                          Aurora, Colorado  80011
                             (303) 364-3213
                       e-mail:jranders@nyx.cs.du.edu

> Looks good.


                          ENGINEERING & COMPUTERS

> Huh?


       Bioengineering  .  Medical Instrumentation  .  Circuit Design

> Nice.  The best part of the whole resume.


A degreed electrical engineer with hands-on experience in circuit design,
engineering testing and computers, with particular emphasis on the biomedical
instrumentation area.  An organized, persistent professional with the ability
to analyze problems, develop options and produce results.

> First sentence OK, but why the hokey 3rd-person pitch?  Or is it prefaced by
> "I'm a ..."?  I'm also put off by "degreed electrical engineer," as it
> forces me to make a mental note to check which degree.  The second sentence
> doesn't say anything, as everyone thinks they have these qualities.


                   KEY TECHNICAL SKILLS & ACCOMPLISHMENTS

     Analog/Digital      System Installation      Bioengineering
     Hardware Design     Engineering Changes      Neural Signals
     Data Analysis       Programming              Human Physiology
     Laser Optics        Documentation            Quality Assurance

> Interesting, almost artistic -- but I'm having trouble grasping the 
> organizing principle that would group Analog/Digital with Engineering
> Changes and with Human Physiology.  Overall effect: confusion, difficulty
> in picturing your strengths or situation.


*    Established a data acquisition system which saved manpower by enabling
     computerized testing of devices.  Acquired components.  Assembled
     hardware.  Installed system and software.  Trained engineers on system
     usage.

> Stilted language, which makes it hard for me to absorb.  Also, this seem to 
> mix the important with the trivial.  I'd be very interested in "saved 
> manpower," but unimpressed by "assembled hardware."


*    Developed analog and digital circuitry to test problematic components.
     Designed testing procedures and mechanical system.  Constructed and
    tested the circuitry.  Documented and reported results to management.

*    Tested revised software product for functionality and accuracy.  Noted
     discrepancies. Provided recommendations to engineering on simplifications
     and improvements to the testing procedures.

*    Managed engineering change requests. Researched specifications.  Estab-
     lished deadlines.  Consulted project teams.  Recommended action for each
     request.

> This is all so vague, I can't get a picture of it.  (Maybe that's because 
> it's not my field.)


                         EDUCATION & EXPERIENCE

> Wasn't that "experience" that I just read?  <Checking back.  No, I guess 
> not.  It never mentioned a company.>  Rather unusual to group education
> and experience.


        B.S., Electrical Engineering, emphasis in Bioengineering
                  University of Colorado, 1991
             Engineer in Training (EIT) Certification, 1991

> OK, now I know the degree.  This would have helped me read the 
> Accomplishments section.  GPA?  Probably too poor to list.

                                    
                       POSITIONS WHILE IN COLLEGE
           Engineering Intern, Ohmeda Monitoring Systems, 1991
       Computer Assistance, Manpower Temporary Services, 1987-1990

> Why the second heading?  Where are the other positions?  What is this 
> Computer Assistance thing?  If you were a temp, what did you do?  I'd
> probably chuck this resume about now.  No, I guess I'd glance at the
> rest.



                           COMPUTER BACKGROUND

      PASCAL              UNIX                Computer Architecture
      808x Assembler      MS-DOS              PSPICE
      Logo                Word Perfect        MathCAD/Mathmatica
      BASIC               Lotus 1-2-3         Telecommunications

> Hmmm.  PSPICE is interesting.  MathCAD, UNIX, ... yes, there are some 
> possibilities here.  At least it's specific; I can grasp this.  But why 
> list a word processor?  Or a spreadsheet?  That would be more appropriate 
> for clerical jobs.  Should we not hire you if we don't use Word Perfect?  
> Should we hire you because we do use Word Perfect?  Get a life.


> Second resume:


                           JON R. ANDERSON
                            970 Olathe St.
                           Aurora, CO 80011
                            (303) 364-3213
               

                           CAREER OBJECTIVE:
To administer engineering problem solving techniques, leading to enhancement
of current engineering methods through the design and development of practical
instrumentation and practices.

> Big words.  I don't even know what this means.  Couldn't you just say
> "Instrumentation R&D"?  (If this were a general-purpose resume, I'd say
> that career objective should be moved to the cover letter so that you
> could customize it for each job.  Since this is your "specific" resume,
> you may be right to put it here so that it looks "carved in stone.")


                               JOB GOAL:
To obtain an entry level engineering position where my interest in applying
engineering principles to medical and biological concerns can be pursued.

> Ack!  I wouldn't hire someone who said his goal was an entry-level position.
> Is this what you want carved in stone?  Move it to the cover letter, if you
> have to say it at all.  Besides, you're getting wordy (or pompous) again.  
> And you slipped in a "my", which contrasts with your usual impersonal style.
> And you're not hyphenating adjective phrases like problem-solving and
> entry-level.  (Almost no one does.  Maybe you shouldn't.)



                              EXPERIENCE:
* Industry experience in the bioengineering field acquired as an intern for
Ohmeda Monitoring Systems-Colorado, where competency in engineering principles
was successfully demonstrated under real-world conditions.  Personal interest
in bioengineering and hardware design pursued through independent study work,
leading to the conception and construction of a compact variable pulse width
and variable frequency ultrasound generator.

> Boring.  Impersonal.  But at least it's specific.  It gives a reasonably 
> accurate picture of your experience, but it's not a flattering picture.
> Nobody expects you to have been an astronaut, so couldn't you view your
> situation with a bit of humor?  If this guy were on your TV, wouldn't you
> turn it off?  If all you've got to sell is your personality, you'd better
> get a bit of it into your resume.

  
* Exhibited leadership by volunteering to work as a group leader for the 1989
and 1990 University of Colorado High School Honors Institute in Engineering.
Duties included supervision of 15-20 high school seniors for four days, aiding
students in Engineering labs and workshops, and discussing with them academic
and social aspects of college life and engineering studies.

> "Exhibited leadership by volunteering to work as a group leader for ..."
> Yuck.  I wouldn't want to work with someone who talked like that.  How about
> "Counseled 20 high school seniors for four days as part of an engineering 
> honors institute."  Not that it's likely to impress anyone who's hiring
> instrumentation engineers.


* Nine years of computer experience including programming ability in PASCAL,
808x Assembler, Logo, and BASIC, knowledge of several commercial software
packages including Word Perfect, MathCAD/Mathematica, MicroCAP/MicroLOGIC and
PSpice, as well as operating experience under MS-DOS and UNIX environments.
Selected best computer student at William C. Hinkley High School in 1987.

> This is good.


* Utilized initiative while employed at US West (under assignment from
Manpower
Temporary Services from May 1989 to March 1990) on the corporation's 1990
United Way Fundraising Campaign, which raised $1.9 million.  Initial duties
were data entry and general office, and were expanded to include system
maintenance and customizing, technical advising, financial report generation
and error checking.

> US West?  You didn't mention that on your first resume!  Here's a major
> corporation, a name that hiring authorities might recognize.  Play it up!
> (And soft-pedal the temp agency, although it's nothing to be ashamed of.)
> System maintenance, customizing, and technical advising sound pretty good.
> Forget the clerical stuff.  And forget the United Way campaign, unless
> you're going to play up how many people you contacted, how much money you 
> raised, or some such.  That's management-level stuff, not bioengineering.


*  Served as a volunteer liaison between representatives of IBM and the College
of Engineering at the University of Colorado during the 1989 Engineering Jobs
Fair.  Duties included assisting the representatives in setting up displays,
running errands and familiarizing the representatives with the University.

> Oh, be still my heart!  Lose the second sentence, at the least.



                            WORK EXPERIENCE:
June 1991 to
Aug. 1991:Engineering Intern, Ohmeda Monitoring Systems-Colorado, Louisville
          CO.

          Worked in the sustaining engineering division, which is responsible
          for product upgrades and maintenance.  Duties included design and
          construction of hardware for component testing, conducting tests of
          both hardware and software functionality of released devices,
          reviewing proposed component or protocol changes for feasibility,
          assembly and documentation of a PC-based data acquisition system and
          hardware debugging of failed devices and circuit boards from 
          customer units.

> Not my field, but it sounds OK.  Only three months, though.  Unless you 
> express pride in some particular accomplishment, I'd assume that you spent 
> the whole time spinning up and doing unskilled work.  If it didn't excite
> you, it doesn't excite me.
 

June 1987 to
Aug. 1990:Temporary Worker, Manpower Temporary Services, Aurora CO.

          Duties were general office jobs including data entry, computer
          operation, filing and clerical.  Companies worked for include US
          West, AT&T, Sony, Comprecare Insurance, Unipac and Silo.

> More good companies!  This is tricky.  You should play these up, but the 
> clerical stuff really shouldn't be mentioned at all.  (A resume should 
> show only relevant work, not every dollar you've ever earned.)  A possible 
> angle is that you were briefly exposed to the corporate cultures.


July 1985 to
Nov. 1986:Food Service Worker, Army & Air Force Exchange Service, Lowry AFB,
          Denver CO.

          Duties included preparation of food, taking customers orders, and
          clean-up.

> Is this really how you want to sell yourself?


July 1983 to
Sept.1985:Paper Carrier, Rocky Mountain News, Denver CO.

          Duties included early morning delivery of daily paper, collection
          from subscribers and solicitation of new subscribers.

> Omit.


                                 EDUCATION:
          Engineer in Training (EIT) Certification, State of Colorado.
          Fundamentals of Engineering (FE) examination successfully completed
          October 1991.

> Good.  Not so important for experienced consultants, but use every asset 
> you have.  Can you just say Fundamentals of Engineering (FE), October 1991?


          Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering, University of Colorado
          at Boulder, CO, December 1991. Specialization in Bioengineering. GPA
          in Major: 2.8/4.0

> Good.  Don't hide GPA.  It's too late to change it, and they're going to 
> want to know before they hire you.  Whether it's good or bad, have the 
> confidence to raise your head high.  At least they'll respect the 
> confidence.


          Diploma, 1987, William C. Hinkley high School, Aurora, CO. Honors/AP
          curriculum, with cumulative GPA 3.21/4.0

> Good.  Do mention the Honors.


                                 PROFESSIONAL
                                ORGANIZATIONS:
          Member, Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE),
          1988 to present.  Active in bioengineering division.

> Fine.  Might as well list it.  You don't really need to spell it out for 
> this audience, but it's OK.  What does "active" mean here?  If you've 
> actually participated, this could be important.


                                   PERSONAL:
          BIRTHDATE: July 8, 1969
          MARITAL STATUS: Single
          HEALTH: Excellent
          INTERESTS: Music, Skiing, Sports, Computers.

> Hmm.  It would be illegal to ask some of this, and some employers do want
> to know.  Still, listing all of this is usually a sign of entry-level 
> naivete.  I'd leave it off.


                                   REFERENCES:
          Available upon request.

> Conveys no information.  Omit.



Okay some general information about myself (primarily stuff outside of what
was contained in the resumes).

*Background: I have a BSEE with emphasis in bioengineering.  My college
coursework was a pretty general sort of background with particular emphasis
in circuit design/analysis and extraneous courses in the life sciences.  I
ended up graduating with 146 semester hours of credit, while only 128 was
required for the actual degree.  My work experience is pretty well covered on
the resumes, so I won't get into that here.

> Hey, this is good!  You should use this instead of your resume!


*Job Sought: Primarily looking for a position in a biomedical instrumentation
organization, although I am open to virtually all areas of any particular
organization from R&D to QA to field service to manufacturing to whatever else
you can probably come up with.

> Also pretty good.  Put this in your cover letter.


The other main area that I have looked to for employment is mass storage, but
a more general resume is used for those organizations.  A few other resumes
have filtered out to some companies in semiconductors/ICs, computer peripheral
design, and various types of electrical instrumentation.

> You're not customizing your resume for these jobs.  You're also not getting
> interview offers.  Notice a correlation?  Why should someone hire a generic
> engineering candidate if there are other resumes from people who seem more 
> eager and/or prepared?


*The Job Search (while still in school): Basic job searching while still in
school, consisting of about 200 resumes sent out during the period of Sept-
Dec, primarily to biomedical type companies.  Most were not in state, so no
follow-up work was performed to any extent.  All letters were addressed to
individuals in the individual companies, primarily to human resources
directors and the like.  Sources for companies and names were primarily
through resources at the campus career placement office.  Replies were
generally of the "postcard" variety (if at all) and came from about 40% of the
companies that were sent correspondance by me.

> HR directors!  You might as well print your resume on toilet tissue.  This 
> guarantees that your resume will be stacked with dozens of others and, 
> after a month or two, passed to whoever has the least-desirable entry-level 
> jobs.  And using the campus lists guarantees that the other resumes will be 
> both numerous and a lot like yours.  You will lose out to anyone with good
> grades, the slightest experience, or enough interest to research the 
> company.  At the least, you should call up the company and ask who's in
> charge of bioengineering.  Or sensors.  Also, note that out-of-state
> companies will not be eager to pay relocation costs for an entry-level 
> position.  You'd do better if you had a "presence" in the area, such as a 
> relative that you could use as a message relay.  Coming in for an interview
> would be expensive, but you might get lucky.


I had about 6 interviews through the campus career placement office, all with
companies that I had a solid interest in (for one reason or another).  All the
interviews were preliminary, and none were for positions which actually
existed.  Two follow-up interviews with local companies both led to job offers
which were later withdrawn due to economic conditions.

*Job Search (part 2): Since January (I took a small break for graduation and
Christmas) I have very actively been pursuing employment.  I spend perhaps 80
hours a week doing library research, sending out correspondence and attempting
to make phone contacts.

Overall about 500 resumes and such have been sent out in that time (most to
companies not covered in the 200 from before).  Most were addressed to
decision
makers in the areas of manufacturing, engineering, R&D and QA.  This time less
than 10% were answered by companies, and most replies were again of the
postcard variety.

Letters to local companies were different than those to out-of-state companies
in that they sought "advice" and not actual jobs.  This was done in an attempt
to build a network.  Of the 50-60 letters sent locally, all were followed up
by
phone calls after about a week.  All people (with the exception of 2) were
either completely unwilling to talk to me, or didn't take calls at the office,
and had to return my calls.  Of the messages left to return calls and such, no
calls were ever returned.  The two individuals who were willing to talk to me
both had no advice to give, nobody to suggest to talk to, etc.

> Sounds like your approach has improved a great deal.  The extreme lack of
> response is surprising, but I can't tell what's wrong without hearing you in
> action.  I would expect people to have enough sympathy to talk with you for
> five minutes, if you make it clear that's all you want.  Have you tried
> calling after 5:00, to get past secretaries?  Or faxing, for the same
> reason?


I again used the campus career office, had about 1/2 dozen interviews again
and
all of them were inital types with no actual positions available.  No second
contacts were made by any of these companies.

*Firms: I have retained professional services from a career marketing firm
locally, and have attempted to sign up with several of the local "headhunter"
or "job placement" type firms.  I have also attempted to find firms that were
interested in temporary "technical" help (ie. consulting firms).  Of the
30-40 firms contacted, no headhunting/placement firms and only one temporary
type firm was willing to work with me.  Primary reason for not being willing
to work with me was the total lack of demand for entry-level personnel.  No
type of employment, interviews, etc. have resulted from the use of these
organizations.

> I don't have much faith in career marketing firms -- if this is the type
> that charges thousands of dollars to do what your campus career office
> should be able to help you with.  They'll give you a pep talk, help you
> rewrite your resume, maybe mass mail it to a standard mailing list, and tell
> you to go network yourself.  Maybe, though, you could get them to help you
> with your telephone technique.


*Geography: I have made myself willing to relocate, although I have
concentrated my efforts for finding employment primarily in Colorado, points
west (ie. CA,OR,WA,UT,NM,AZ,NV) and the deep southeast (particularly FL).

*Financial: So far my job search has run me over $3k easily.  I am over $20k
in debt from my schooling.

> I hope you're not telling employers how desperate you are.  People don't
> hire (or talk to) others who make them feel uncomfortable.


*Sources: I look for jobs in the newspapers of all my primary areas of
interest, and check national listings for employment opportunities.  I have
also checked avenues for federal/state employment and such.

> If a job in the paper were any good, there'd be too many people applying
> for it.  At best, newspaper ads tell you which companies are hiring in 
> general.  If you find a company you like, apply for any opening -- even
> sales.  Work for free if you have to.  Pay them for an apprenticeship
> if you have to.  Then work your tail off, so they'll consider you when
> there's an internal opening.

> Have you tried contacting your old classmates?  Their parents?  Past
> graduates of your school?  Church members?  Your clergy?  Somewhere
> there's someone willing to hire you.  Once you've worked, at anything,
> you'll find it easier to get a job you want.

> My best advice is to keep getting cover letters (without resumes, if
> possible) onto people's desks.  Expect about 1% of the recipients to
> be looking for someone.  Two weeks later, it'll be a different 1%.
> If you're really spending 80 hours per week on this, cut back to 40
> and spend the other 40 reading job-hunting guides and industry news.

> As for your resumes -- break out of the mold.  These aren't working for
> you.  Stop trying to do them "the way they're supposed to be," and
> switch to a sales mode.  Read a book on salesmanship, or one on direct-mail
> marketing.  Look at junk mail that you get.  (Would you buy a car if the
> company mailed you only a spec sheet?  Would you buy a CD based on just
> the artists' dry biographies?) Sell yourself!  You've got a basic engineering
> education, a willingness to work, and time.  Find someone who has money and
> no time.  Convince him or her that life would be better with you around.
> (How about starting your resume with an inspiring quotation?  Teddy
> Roosevelt, for instance, said "Do what you can, with what you have, where 
> you are."  I'll bet you can find an even better one.)

> Finally, note that I'm not a hiring authority.  Take my advice at your
> own risk.  Good luck.

>					-- Ken


--

Dr. Kenneth I. Laws, (415) 493-7390, laws@ai.sri.com.
Moderator of the Computists International AI/IS/CS mutual-aid association.
Ask about my weekly online career newsletter, The Computists' Communique.