From: carlson@ab24.larc.nasa.gov (Ann Carlson)
Newsgroups: alt.support,soc.motss
Subject: Re: One hell of a wake-up call.
Date: 12 Jan 1993 15:18:36 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center, Hampton, VA  USA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: ab24.larc.nasa.gov

In article <1993Jan11.153709.25733@watson.ibm.com>, sck@watson.ibm.com (Scott C. Kennedy) writes:
|> 
|> This saturday morning, I received a phone call from my father, a member of 
|> Downtown United Presbteryan (sp?) Church in Rochester, NY. 
|>  He explained
|> that he "wanted to become gay" (his words) to make himself a target for the
|> injustices that are committed against homosexuals.
|> 
|> I have several problems with this.
|> 
|> Am I off base? 
|> 
|> I would not have as many concerns if my father had said "Son, I'm gay", but
|> this seriously distrubs me.
|> -- 

Scott,
I think your father's plan may need some serious revisions, before he gets
to some course of action which adequately represents his convictions.  But
I think I understand what he is trying to do, and why.  

I suppose your father identifies, as I do, far more with lesbigay Christians
than with the traditional, straight Christian church.  I can understand his
need to have some outward expression of that identity.  I think about the
most insulting thing anyone ever said to me was that I was welcome in their
church because I only *believed* that it was ok to be gay and Christian. All
they want to exclude are the people who *are* actually gay.  They don't
care what you believe, only what you are or do.  That incident did more than 
anything else to solidify my identification with gay Christians.  I *am*
my beliefs and convictions, and want to be recognized for it.  But, to
others I appear to be "like them" because the external manefestations are
the same.  It can be very frustrating when the bigots refuse to discriminate
against you...

On the less serious, but still sort of frustrating side of things, it can
be annoying to always be "the straight one" in the crowd.  I don't go to
gay bars by myself, but I do go fairly frequently with some lesbian friends.
When I do, I pretty much prefer the "we're together" aspect of things.
I'd much rather blend into the scenery than stand out as the odd one. 
One of my friends, at first, made it her business to tell everybody who
came by that I was straight.  It made me uncomfortable and I didn't really
think it was necessary.  I think that's more of a human nature thing, than
a gay or straight thing, though.  We don't like to stand out in a crowd
unless we have some reason to *want* to stand out in the crowd.  Maybe
your dad is also just getting frustrated with always being identified as 
"the straight one."

....
Along other lines, but still connected to the thread of who one is seen
with.  I've mentioned a close friend who is a gay man on this group before.
He used to be a bit uncomfortable being seen too often with me because
he was afraid people would think we were a "thing."  Even though he's
pretty closeted, he doesn't like people to link him romantically in their
minds with women.  Well, Sunday night as we were driving off to a party
together we saw some friends and he groans; "Oh darn, they saw me driving
off with you, and you have such a reputation for being a gay friendly,
now they'll think I'm gay!"  I just laughed.
-- 



*************************************************      
*Dr. Ann B. Carlson (a.b.carlson@larc.nasa.gov) *       O .
*MS 366                                         *         o  _///_ //
*NASA Langley Research Center                   *          <`)=  _<<
*Hampton, VA 23681-0001                         *             \\\  \\
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