From: sl859@cc.usu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics,alt.comics.lnh
Subject: CRY.SIG #5.interlude:  Ultimate Ninja meddles with it again! :)
Date: 30 Sep 92 01:02:34 MDT
Organization: Utah State University


Ultimate Ninja poised himself between the gap of two dimensions.
The Void closed closer and closer.  Out in the background there
was a huge battle going on between Louise Simonson, some of the 
LNH, That what was left.  Fortunately, Ultimate Ninja was hidden
to the DRIZZTSAT, and his caper.  So he stood there watching the
Void Approach in anticepation of the whole hero thing being destroyed,
 out from under them,        yet something held him back to watch.
Would he warn them of the impending implosion?  Or which alliances
would he follow?  How long would the character Ultimate Ninja 
remain a dangling plot line?  But there was another threat.  As 
Ultimate Ninja sat at the gateway there came a ever too familiar 
chanting "Doom, Doom Doom DOoom DOOOoooM  Dooom!"  Ultimate Ninja
turned to see a large hulking grey mass!  Bigg and Powerful with
strange bovine features and a huge cow udder on his chest!  Yes
that's right!  It was ..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * <--- No its not a rippoff!  mine are closer
together!  :)

Aunt Comic-Relief lay catatonic on the ground.  She had just had a 
coronary and was paralyzed from the neck down. No longer could she
live as a neglected burden on this society.  Wellfare was no where 
to be seen and McLaughlin Man wasn't doing anything to change her
life!  In addition she felt so alone.  Continuity Champ had completely
neglected her, and now in her greatest time of need she thought she
would die.  But she didn't!  
	Cannon Fodder gurgled at her side.  He would be ok, no matter
how many times he died!  That was his power!  Gosh, thought Aunt Comic-Relief
If only I could think of a joke.  Even an old one.  Something even 
Cliche Dude would use, maybe.  Anything.
	Then like lightening she remembered the little gizmo around her neck.
It was time to unleash its power...

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 


UDDER DOOM!!!!!!!   I shall CRUSH you!  You are a hero!  You must be 
CRUSHED!  Doom Doom DOOM!  Comic sales went up ten times,  Uh-Oh!  Does
this mean I am going to die, thought Ultimate Ninja!?

Udder Doom moved back and prepared his oration before weilding his deadly 
attack.  "Teenage Mutant Ninja! You are too good!  Youre a fool that never kills 
anyone!  No Violent tendencies!  You don't fit in this world of Comics!  
You  must   Goooooo!!!!"

Teenage Mutant Ninja!! Is this guy for real?  
Thought the confused martial master!  

Udder Doom Turned to Ultimate Ninja and plowed both fists into the opening 
where the gate stood.  Ultimate Ninja lept over the two bludgeoning instruments
of super destruction.  Udder doom pointed his Udders at Ultimate Ninja.  
A stream of white liquid fire splashed across the comic page, but Ultimate 
Ninja was so agile that even when swimming he can dodge the water molecules,
how else can you explain all those old Ninja Movies made in Japan that have
Ninjas getting out of the water and instantly their suits are dry?
Ultimate Ninja's mouth began to move in strange motions, but the words came
out in a delayed and unsynchronized fashion.  "Just Because Some Claim Milk
is now Toxic, I will not be stopped!"  Take something proven to cause cancer!
From his Ninja suit, Ultimate Ninja pulled out his patented and trademarked
Ginsu Ninja Circular Saw-like Throwing Blades!  Whiz... Went the sound fx!
Thunk Thunk Thunk Thunk!  Errrrrgggh!  Arrrrr!  There were more sound fx!
Udder Doom jumped back in shock, his blood covered his hands.  He stared at
it in awe.  "NOOOOOOOOO!  You made me bleed!  But the Teenage Mutant Ninja 
has NEVER drawn blood!?!"

Ultimate Ninja grimaced and grabbed an additional fistful of Ninja Bush.  The 
Tiny Ultimate Weapons showered the Big Grey Menace and  in a minute all that
remained of the Udder Doom as a Red and white ink blot.

That should be enough gratuitous violence to sell lots of issues!

* * * * *   'nuff asterisks  * * * *

"I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!"  in an instant Aunt Comic-Relief was 
encircled in bands of energy and bright crimson bands wrapped around her like
a customized walker.  

A Walker From Hell!  or errr... Heck.  (Sorry about that.)  I WILL SURVIVE!
cried the strangely confused old woman, as power bands lept from her frail
shaking arms into the air!  The Fabric of Net Reality Ripped assunder and
Aunt Comic-Relief's fragile form was cast into the gaping hole between
net.dimensions.  In a typhoon of energy smileys and sparkles the gate sealed
and the old woman was gone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  

The Void suddenly grew in strength and power.  Energy Sparkles were everywhere!
Picking up the strewn bodies of the LNH that had fallen, Ultimate Ninja Cast 
each of them through  the dimesional escape hatch!  The Energy from Aunt
Comic-Relief's apparent energy convulsions mixed with the portal energies. 
Something strange was affecting the whole RAC world.  The Dead and dismembered
members were contorted as Ultimate Ninja collected their remains.  Why would 
Ultimate Ninja care?  Perhaps there was to be a big funeral issue, but he knew
it would help him somehow, and shovelled the remains of Cannon Fodder through
the gate as well!  Just then the gateway began to shrink! (NO!  Actually the
thing started shrinking as Cliche Dude was thrown through!)  After grabbing
the rest of the LNH and LNV Ultimate Ninja Dove to the portal.  The Portal 
Closed just as Ultimate Ninja threaded the eye of the gateway!  

"Just in the Nick of Time!"  claimed a figure cast in shadows...  In fact
Ultimate Ninja found himself surrounded by a mob of shadowy figures... 
and naturally they moved in around Ultimate Ninja menacingly!

          						wReam...
						     Ultimate Ninja!

P.S.  Stay Tooned for the shocking conclusion and wrapper upper to the
Ultimate Ninja Saga!  If Cry.Sig has you a bit depressed, just remember 
it's not over yet!  :)



























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