From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: Who gets the longer stick, men or women? ;)
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 92 17:00:26 GMT

In article <BuLrI2.Ew@csugrad.cs.vt.edu> jaker@csugrad.cs.vt.edu (Jake Rose) writes:
>
>I just want to know something - are there any women out there who face the kind
>of constant worry about the future that some of us guys do?  
>
Clearly, you missed all those articles telling us how single women over thirty
should just give up on getting married.

>                                                             Or is the fact that
>~45% of the population are female enough, topped off with the fact that women in
>our society aren't expected to ask guys out, but that we have to find some way
>of introducing ourselves, demonstrating that we have romantic intentions toward
>someone, etcetera?  Sometimes I think we *really* have the short end of the
>stick here... ...oh well, who ever said life was egalitarian? :) 
>
Not all those divorced mothers whose ex won't pay child support.

>                                                                  So, for about
>20% of the male population, have a nice slow life, there's no one out there for
>you (or me), so you'll just have to drag yourself out of bed in the morning,
>chug off to work, come home, watch TV for a while, read a book for a while,
>chat on the net for a while, or whatever, and go back to bed.  Fun, hmm?  I
>know I really look forward to it... ...oh, and if you're depressed about *your*
>future, just pretend you never read this or that those figures for relative
>populations aren't right at all, okay?  Why the hell am I writing this message,
>anyway?  <sigh>  I think I'll go see a psychiatrist - maybe I'll find a nice
>one who will let me have a crush on her for a while...
>
Now, I know from experience that it can be depressing (for a man) to be
in a situation where there are clearly more men than women. If you are
in college there may be twice as many men as women, and if you are in
grad school, things will be worse unless you consider undergraduates as
part of the dating pool. But assuming that because you are unattached
now that you are part of the excess, and so always will be is very
pessimistic. Look around at the 'competition': can it really be that
80% of them are clearly better than you are, or do you think that women
have no taste?

I also know it is easy to be apathetic. But I think if you get out
there, and make an effort to friendly to all women, attached and
unattached, you will find that their opinion of you is not so bad, and
that more of them are unattached than you might have thought. As you
said, as a man, you are expected to go out and introduce yourself. So
do it. The world is not going to change to accommodate you, so if you
don't like something, you must change to accommodate the world.  

If you try to meet people in a friendly manner, without acting like you
are expecting unconditional acceptance or immediate rejection, most of
them will appreciate that you took the effort. And since you did it in a
friendly manner, if someone does not appreciate it, then you will have
no trouble believing that it is their problem. Start at a level you are
comfortable with, and as you get more experience, it will get easier
and you can be more ambitious. You won't Ms. Right immediately,
but you will be gaining experience that will come in handy when you 
do find someone interesting.

Peace,
Michael.