From: bseewald@gozer.idbsu.edu (Brad Seewald)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: The biggest Purity Test of all
Date: 15 Oct 92 15:57:38 GMT
Organization: Boise State University

Part one:
     List all of the different sexual acts that you have performed.
     (give yourself one point for each)
     List all of the sexual acts you've performed in the last month.
     (one point for each)
     List all of the sexual acts you've performed in the last week.
     (again one point)
     List all of the sexual acts you've performed today.
     (ah, what the hell, give yourself 2 points for each, you deserve it)
     List all of the 'types' of 'partners' you've had sex with.
     (one point for mechanical, two for living, three for dead)
     etc.

Part two:
     If you could stand before a large crowd and read your list double
     your score.
     If you could stand before a crowd of religous grandmothers triple
     your score (instead of doubling it).
     If you could tell anyone, any where about every sexual act that
     you have done multiply your score from part one by four.

Part three:
     Like in part one but here you list all 'moral' acts that you have
     performed.
     etc.

Part four:
     If you could stand on stage before thousands of 'heavy metal fans'
     and read your list double part three and add to part two.
     If you could stand before stanic cult members and read your list
     triple your score from part three and add it to part two.
     If you often brag about how 'moral' you are multiply your score
     from part three by four and add it to part two.

Part five:
     "Understanding your results":
         A possitive result means you are immoral, unpure and generally
         enjoy yourself often...the higher your score the more unpure
         you are.
         A negative result means you are moral, saintly and often tell
         tell others that they should be the same...the lower your
         score the more obnoxious you are to the rest of us.
         If you end up with a score close to zero I don't know what to
         tell you other than GET A LIFE, DWEB!...If your score WAS zero
         you have been in a coma since you where born and suffer from
         an acute fear of rejection (i.e. you can't tell anyone anything).
         I hope you wake up from the coma soon and get over your fear of
         again, GET A LIFE, BOZO!

There is no 'max score' for this test...the highest score can always be
topped by someone who is less pure than the one who got *that* score.
(possibly even by the holder of the highest score)  This therefor is the
largest purity test there will ever be ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sincerly (NOT)
          Proff niblefoot eet, sba, mmb, fu, all
-- 
              ___             *  Brad Seewald - All opinions expressed here                 /  \  \           *                 where wholly my own.
          /  /\  \  \         *                                                         /  /  / \  \  \       *  Quotes - "Your right, Leo, Your always Right."
      /  /  /_____\__\  \     *          -- Harrison Ford (in some movie)           /  /  /_______________\   *         - "To error is human, to be a shit
    \/_____________________|  *            about it is anal retentive." -- Me