From: rpowers@panix.com (Richard Powers)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: helplessness and powerlessness
Date: 31 Dec 92 03:30:25 GMT
Organization: PANIX Public Access Unix, NYC

In <85946@ut-emx.uucp> llama@tramp.cc.utexas.edu (sine nomine) writes:

>: >control. i can decide how i feel about things, i can decide how (or
>:           ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
>: 
>: I just don't understand this.  If I could just decide that I'm not in
>: love with W----, I would be at least a bit happier (well, less
>: depressed maybe).  If I could "decide" I really like working for
>: minimum wage I _could_ be ecstatic for the rest of my life.  I don't
>: know about anyone else (me?  sure of something?  never happen) but I
>: cannnot accomplish anything remotely resembling this kind of control
>: over my emotions.  

>and i can't understand seeing yourself as helpless, a victim of forces
>that you can't control, floating through life as a person who reacts
>instead of acting.

Thats interesting, but what has that got to do with anything *I* said?!

I'm getting really tired of people arguing with things I just *DID*
*NOT* *SAY*!!!!  Doesn't *anyone* actually read what they're
responding to?  I'm getting quite pissed off with this whole medium.

I NEVER SAID ANYTHING RESEMBLING YOUR ABOVE PARAGRAPH!

>you already decide, on some level, to feel the way you do about
>things. just because a decision isn't arrived at consciously doesn't
>mean it's not a decision.

Do you believe this crap?  Really?

My hats off to you Ms. Spock.  It ain't that way for us humans.

>i dunno; it's been my experience that people have things in their
>lives because they get payoffs from having them there (payoffs can be
>negative as well as positive). when the pain they cause outweighs the
>payoffs, you're motivated to change things. sometimes, though, you
>can't connect the pain to the cause or you have no clue about how to
>get things out of your life. that's where therapy can be useful.

>the payoffs from owrking for minimum wage don't outweigh the pain
>caused by same; the payoffs from being in love with a person do
>outweigh the pain this love causes you. so you try to avoid working
>for minimum wage (unless the hassle of avoiding it is enough to make
>you decide it's bearable for now) and you allow yourself to be in
>love.

Yeah, ok.  So its totally my choice that I'm in love with my best
(female) friend who doesn't feel the same?  Its MY CHOICE to be
SUICIDALLY DEPRESSED?!?!?!?!?!  Isn't that what you're saying?   HUH?!
That I'm DECIDING to be SUICIDALLY DEPRESSED?!?!  Its all my fault huh?

>and the sucky thing about this is that it sounds so rational and easy
>when you lay it out in these terms, this simply. the problem is that
>when you get into real life and get emotions all tangled up in it,
>it's harder to delineate.

No. The sucky thing is that now I'm totally pissed off.  Guess I should
just "decide" to feel differently, huh.  Right.

Grrrrrr.
-- 
 Richard Powers    / Disclaimer: My keyboard is \   Computer=Amiga
rpowers@panix.com <  screwy.   Missing  letters  >  Music=Industrial
   Hail Eris!      \ should     be    expected. /   Food=Vegetarian
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday