From: clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu)
Subject: Re: sincerity and preference (was Re: Asian males aren't attractive?  (was R
Organization: Nynex Science and Technology
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 14:27:48 GMT

In article <1g8idcINN919@male.EBay.Sun.COM> (defensio libertatis) writes:
>In article 5520@nas.nasa.gov, choi@win48.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi) writes:
>> (Kendra Lynne Hershey) writes:
>> >It sounds like this thread contains a bunch of really insecure AA guys who like
>> >to complain a lot. I can't believe all the bashing of AA females that's going 
>> > on.  <....>
>> 
>> No kidding.  When I first posted, some AA females wrote me that this topic
>> usually generates a lot of female-bashing ...and then they added "and
>> these guys wonder why we don't want to go out with them - duh".
>> 
>> diana
>
>Hi all,

Hi there, I would really like to e-mail you, but since I can't, I'm
going to post this.
>
>But these same females who say unabashedly they chose their car for it's color
>will seem to avoid discussing the factor which race played in their choice to date a 
>white boyfriend. I always hear "I dated my white boyfriend because he's got a great
>personality; he's humorous and he treats me decently..."
>
>This is fine and probably true. But was race EVER a factor in your decision
>to date a white guy? If not, why didn't you date a black guy or Latino if race
>was not really an issue? 

  Exactly.  
>
>I would not fault them if they said quite honestly and openly that race was an
>issue in their dating choice; they like the look of European men and feel 
>attracted to them. I like European men too for their features.

  Really.  I often hear white people say, "I prefer blondes, or I like redheads."
  They don't seem to think there's anything wrong with stating physical
  preferences.  I know whites who unabashedly say, "I like Oriental girls."
>
>Instead I hear vague opinions like: "I like my white boyfriend because he is real nice and I'd date anyone even if he were purple or even checkered!" 
>
>That kind of pretension to being completely color-blind when dating someone
>strikes me as difficult to believe. Call me a pessimist but I think race is
>much more of an issue in the dating ritual than some people are willing to 
>admit, especially in light of such glaring evidence that AF/CM relationships
>are more numerous than AM/CF relationships by a ratio of four-to-one (or
>whatever they came up with)

  Smacks of defensiveness.  They want to act like it "just happened."  So
  why didn't it "just happen" with a Black, Latino, or Asian?
>
>On the other hand, I have to laugh a bit when I do hear Asian females who date
>white guys underplaying the role which race plays in their dating orientation.
>I laugh not because I think they are betraying their race and all that bunk
>but because they think I'm naive enough to buy the line that it was her white
>boyfriend's personality and--"Oh god no!"--not his race which attracted them.
>God forbid you would feel attracted to someone because he has blonde hair and
>blue eyes and a pointed nose to boot! Right? (chuckle...chuckle)

  I laugh too.  I've stated that I like dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair,
  big muscles, and a mustache.  I don't like pasty and pink.  So what?
  People are attracted to others physically too.  A lot of people want
  to act like it's all personality, or spiritual.  They're just bullshitting.
  Unless their relationship truly is a non-physical one...  (chuckle...chuckle).
>
>I'm not that stupid you know...

  Nope I believe you're not, and neither are the other men on this net.
  Especially when I hear the "behind-the-scenes" girl talk when they're
  more honest about why they chose their white boyfriend, the blonde
  dreamboat status symbol, or they hate all the men in their family and
  dating an AM would feel incestuous, or they wouldn't be caught dead
  with one, and some don't even want to have any as "just friends" lest
  anyone might mistakenly believe them to be "more than friends."  Nope,
  wouldn't want that blonde dreamboat to get the wrong idea...  I know
  a girl who wouldn't even walk around campus with her own brother for
  fear that people might think they were "involved."  Jeez!
>
>Let's be realistic. We all would like to look fair, color-blind and politically correct
>and say "Oh I married this or that person because he has a great personality...it's
>what's inside that counts for me." but the statistics on AF/CM vs. CF/AM would
>appear alot more equal or random if race were not an issue it is. 

  I'd say they only wanted to look "fair", heh heh.

>
>Thanks for sharing.

  okie-dokie,  Clare
>
>-M. Aurelius Insularum
>
>===========================================================================
>"De gustibus non est disputandum."
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