From: mgundeko@pcserver2.Naitc.Com (Murthy Gundekota)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian,soc.culture.indian.telugu
Subject: The Gundekota File: Gundekota announces his new businessman!
Date: 29 Sep 92 18:37:17 GMT
Article-I.D.: Firewall.1992Sep29.183717.7182
Organization: Somewhere near Chicago

The Gundekota File-Entry#13: Gundekota announces his new business!
==================================================================

In article <1992Sep24.164149.23016@dptg.att.com> mvs@dptg.att.com (51351[efw]-Mani Sharma(MT4799)1380MT) writes:
>
>
>			GIRIJA S. SURYA   M.D.
>
>		Announces the opening of her practise
>
>				in
>
>		Cardiac and Thoracic Surgery
>
>			Located at
>
>			867 St. Georges Ave
>			Rahway, NJ.
>
>		Tel: 908-388-3708



Well, well, well. One more picker-upper who can only slice and dice my
chest but can't extract all those nasty little critters clogging the
free flow of my blood in the arteries going below my thorax into
regions like phallus, ankle and toe nails. So is this the most recent
celebrity in Rahway I was told about by a guy visiting from Brunswick?
You better watch out, because I was told this particular sir-gin has a
penchant for encouraging people to become alcoholics and smokers.
Just kidding! The sir-gin only wished aloud, in a party that was
attended by my Brunswick friend also, that more people who are
alcoholics and smokers would take advantage of this gala opening. Now
that is also not true. The really true thing is that this sir-gin has
no business announcing in Usenet. Usenetters don't get heart attacks
or rotten livers by reading the articles here.  They may go blind, but
then they won't be able to read the messages, so what use is it to
advertise. The other disease Usenetters have a high probability of
being afflicted with is Corpal Tunnel Syndrome.  There is no surgical
alternative for CTS. That means, this particular cardiac sir-gin won't
be able to operate on the weakened wrist of a CAT patient, unless she
believes the heart is positioned right below the vein used by doctors
to feel the pulse when they are pretending to be intensely listening
to the stethoscope, when in fact there is an ear-piece playing the
music of Madonna or Greatful Dead, depends on which part of New Jersey
you are living in.

On the other hand, if this sir-gin also happens to be a bride on the
look-out for a suitable match, and is using this Usenet publicity for
matrimonial purpose, then what can I say, I am a total loser. Suppose
I have counter-attacked this ad by posting the following message:



	G R A N D  G A L A  O P E N I N G  O F  P R A C T I S E 
				BY

		
			Dr. Murthy Gundekota

	A chemical engineer, an AI persona, a distinguished scholar
and writer, is now practising! Are you lucky or what? His main
specialities are:

	*dick heads
	*pussies and cats
	*intelligent copulation
	*cerebral sex
	*expert-system based orgasms
	*clean up after spills
	*clean environment by safe sex methods
	*safe sex by clean environmental techniques
	*fillings holes effectively on land or water
	*drilling into bodies for major finds to become wealthy


All these for a free initial consultation and a $25 `say-hi' fee. An
additional $25 will be charged for `say-bye.' Now you can do this by
e-mail and you don't even have to worry about meeting any fat ass
sir-gins for curing your problems.


Now, if you are looking for subliminal hints of marriage in this ad,
then good luck! I am not going anywhere in that area, except down the
insanity lane. But it feels good there. There are no brain surgeons
who are willing to sharpen their knives on my scalp, because it is so
thick with dandruff. Just kidding! I use Head and Shoulders!
Especially when I am lifting weights--head for the lift and shoulder
to rest the weights.

In any event, ten years from now, the heart-thorax sir-gin will be
able to buy my business, including the owner. I already know what
awaits me as a smart engineer who can't cut a chest. Penury outside
the jail. What am I worried about? As an engineer, I will be amassing
enough wealth to make myself happy, and pay it all for doctor bills.
Whereas the sir-gin will have so little money that she has to
frequently barter her diamond studded golden instruments for
cash--like I use my gold card.

Anyways, good luck sir-gin, and be careful when operating a guy's
heart, it is where the dick is supposed to be. Do you get it? That old
vulgar saying that says, if only guys had hearts in their dicks...


Cheers,

Murthy
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian