HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: ssc (Re: Will I go to hell just for thinking this?)
Originator: jcarroll@ferris
Organization: Oregon Foreign Legion
Date: 14 Dec 92 23:48:04 CST


In article <1gj3gsINNrb6@chnews.intel.com>, bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton) writes:
> In article <MJD.92Dec14024312@saul.cis.upenn.edu> mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Mr. Wow") writes:
> >Mm, our favorite is always ``Troll the ancient yule-tide carol.''
> >``Hi!  My name is Troll, and I'm an ancient yule-tide carol!''
> 
> Who's Carol, and howcum she doesn't work Armistice Day?

just this weekend, having developed a newfound appreciation for my family
after spending the prime of my December bitching out my wife and
misanthropically ranting through Bellevue Square Christmas shopping for
nephews and nieces I hardly know, I shared with her my heartfelt
desire to someday acquire a portrait of my illustrious ancestor, the
Ancient Yuletide Carroll.

And that's why she had to kill me all.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Yum.
Organization: University of Central Florida
Distribution: talk
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 14:04:16 GMT


Ingredients of the Dolly Madison Coffee Cake I just ate:

Sugar, enriched bleach flour (flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin
mononitrate, riboflavin), corn syrup, water, grown sugar, egg whites.
Contains 2% or less of each of the following: partially hydrogenated
soybean and/or cottonseed oil, modified cornstarch, vegetable fiber,
leavenings (baking soda, sodium acid pyrophosphate, monocalcium
phosphate, dicalcium phosphate), whey, cinammon, salt, natural and
artificial flavor, sorbic acid (a preservative), emulsifiers (mono
and diglycerides, sorbitan monostearate, polysorbate 60, propylene
glycol), calcium sulfate, adipic acid.

mark

And a whole lotta lovin'.
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Hairbags
Date: 11 Dec 92 15:24:01 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <29305@castle.ed.ac.uk>, damianj@castle.ed.ac.uk (Damian Jackson) writes:
> 
> With the possible exception of Pop Tarts [tm].
> 

Paula Yates? Madonna?

It had to be said.

Jason

> Damian
> damianj@castle.ed.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com (Erik Radmall)
Subject: Re: shopping
Reply-To: eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com
Organization: Xerox Corporation
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 17:37:40 GMT

In article 10186@walter.cray.com, jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll) writes:
> 
> Tonight at the mall I was caught in an evolving door.

Let me guess -- by the time you go out, you were a gastropod, right?

---
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Wax")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: What is wrong with Psychiatry
Date: 16 Dec 92 00:21:35 GMT
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu's message of 15 Dec 92 19:59:36 GMT

In article <BzBGvE.7x3@news.cso.uiuc.edu> dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis) writes:
>   > left hempisphere, 
>	  ^^^^

Live better EACH DAY thanks to the POWER of the RIGHT SIDE of your BRAIN.
--

   Nihil tam absurde dici potest, quod non dicatur ab aliquo philosophorum.
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy)
Subject: Re: SWANSONG.....
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 01:24:13 GMT

In article <1992Dec13.215759.24987@scott.skidmore.edu> ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe) writes:
>
>   Well...over the past few days, i have been bombarded by such a
>flattered by the energy that you t.b folk have put into this...yes, i
>know most of you probably hate me. that's okay, i will probably never
>meet any of you, and what is your hatred to me but a few blips of

what you need to realize is that this is the net. it is pretty far away
from 'real life' unless you threaten the life of someone under secret
service protection. for instance, about four months ago a group called
alt.smouldering.dog.zone was created by some folks at nmsu. my post was
the first to make it to our site, it seemed a virgin group to me with an
unknown purpose. but, lo, i was wrong. after getting into a short flame
war with people that was actually them yelling at me en mass i finally
seemed to really piss someone off when i received a phone call from a grad
student at nmsu who proceeded to yell and swear at me for about ten
minutes. they also sent e-mail to the sys admin for my 'inappropriate
postings' and i was told to mellow out my language. well, i lost that
acct. eventually anyway for other postings, oh well. the point of this all
is that i recently met the person who called me on the phone at a
molecular biology meeting in santa fe and after a weird bit of time we got
along just fine and found we had a lot in common and da dee dah. my
philosophy is to not take anything on the net seriously. unfortunately
some people do and you might get a slap on the wrist by your sys-admin or
you might talk with the ss. for what it's worth, i'm sure most people here
are fairly worthwhile people except for maybe K*nt and Duh, but they can't
help it. 

please flame the shit out of me for this. since when do i have a right to
spout such drivel? huh? 

--
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
From: alchemy@cs1.bradley.edu (Mike Swiston)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Bad News
Date: 18 Dec 92 19:32:24 GMT
Organization: salt of the earth in open wounds.


Al'zimgor, God of Chilidogs.

In the Final Battle, my great hordes of
worshippers will amass to destroy all
Hardees restaurants for their pagan idol
worship and the heathen manner in which
they now serve their 'dogs: bare.
A travesty.

--
                                           close your eyes and create the sound
alchemy@cs1.bradley.edu                  open your hands and rebuild the ground
From: operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: same 'ol
Date: 15 Dec 1992 03:34:15 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: g310b12.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

Egg yolk man hurried to the side of the frying pan. He had to avoid
that fork! Gobs of yellow blood flew as he felt the tines scrape his
membrane.

The steel warrior felt the magma flowing from his Achilles' as the
little centurions scrambled around him. He toppled to the ground.

"Stop blow drying your hair so much," she nagged, "your hair will
fall out!" As he was about to retort, the left side of his perfect
head of hair dropped to the ground, and began to crawl away from
the neutrinos which the stalks had imbibed.

He zipped around the corner. He zipped up the stairs. He zipped
back and forth across the living room. He zipped until the old
zipper couldn't take no more.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra)
Subject: Re: The Hypothetical Ponytail
Keywords: blah blah rhubarb kibo blah venus blah bomb blah
Organization: t.b
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 18:11:30 GMT

dcj@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Damian Christopher Jackson) writes:
> That reminds me of a phrase that came to me once.
> 
> "Let's kick some hypothetical ass."

     And take pseudonyms?

--Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
                        {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: Re: Columbia House logic
Reply-To: aaron%atlantis@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 15:51:48 GMT

I didn't mention the part about getting a statement saying my account was
overpaid by >$50, and then a month later getting a statement that my account
was past due by >$30.  Without having ordered anything from them in the
meantime.

But then, I didn't think that was bizarre enough to post.

-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I never gave it a thought, I never thought I should think                       I would go along with anyone and anything"  --Rupert Hine
Current Album--Fleetwood Mac
Current Read--Michael Coney:Charisma
From: tal@Warren.MENTORG.COM (Tom Limoncelli)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Hmmm....
Date: 14 Dec 1992 15:51:15 -0500
Organization: Mentor Graphics -- IC Group
NNTP-Posting-Host: milk.warren.mentorg.com

In article <MJD.92Dec13033409@saul.cis.upenn.edu> mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Sayushka Ivanov") writes:

>People who have had sex with me never forget me because I am the only
>person any of them know who hits them over the head with a heavy
>dictionary before, during, and after.

I just use one of those small pocket spelling dictionaries.  I wonder
what Freud would say.

Tom
-- 
Tom Limoncelli -- tal@warren.mentorg.com (work) -- tal@plts.uucp (play)
Reality is stranger than fiction #943247:  The IRS granted
ANS approval as a 501c3 "charity" on September 14, 1992.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: Re: SWFemales ISO SWM
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 04:42:42 GMT

in alt.personals, <RAH135@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
)
)hello!  WE ARE TWO GOOD LOOKING FEMALES WHO ARE LOOKING FOR A GOOD
)TIME.  WE WA NT SOMEONE WHO IS EXPERIENCED IN THE FIELD OF LOVE
)MAKING.  WE GUESS WE SHOULD EXPLAIN WHAT WE LOOK LIKE(NOT THAT IT
)MATTERS) WE are both 20 years old, toghe ter we weigh 250
)pounds(please together not each!)  we are not fat!  We like th e
)outdoors (thats where we like to have our SEX ), we also like
)music(progressi ve ), food(we like to eat THINGS), I LIKE TO COOk and
)she likes to eat.  we sho uld add that this is not a joke we are in
)need of a few good men to enjoy some time with. please reply before
)dec. 19 then our e-mail expires. bye.


$5 bucks to the first person to post this....

Subject: Re: SBFemales ISO SBM

ARE TWO BAAAAD LOOKING FEMALES WHO ARE LOOKING FOR SOME BAAAAD TIME.
WE NT SOMEONE WHO BE EXPERIENCED IN Da Damn FIELD UH LOVE MAKING.  WE
GUESS WE SHOULD EXPLAIN WHUT WE LOOK LIKES(NOT THAT ITMATTERS WE are
both 20 years old, toghe ter we weigh 250 250 pounds(please together
not each!  we are not fat!  We likes th eto gots' our SEX , we also
likec(progressi ve , food(we likes to feed da bud THINGS , I LIKES TO
COOk andhe likes to feed da bud.  we sho uld add that this be not some
joke we are ina few baaaad dudes to enjoy some time wit'. please reply
before19 then our e-mail expires. bye.






Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Subject: vacation report
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 18:56:19 GMT

---
I would write it, but my penultimate deadline just reawakened
itself.  I crunched to get a bunch of edits in by the deadline,
was told to lose the edits & just make the deadline, was
prevented by my production person from making the edits after
the deadline (so that the archived copy would be correct for
the next idiot writer), and then the deadline slipped for
software reasons.  I moved on to another project.

Now they want the edits made.  By Wednesday.  They decided this
while I was on vacation, and didn't bother to get anybody else
to do it.

I think I'm going to tell them to fuck themselves.

---
c j silverio
From: annie@canetoad.UUCP (Picasso-puss)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re:  Holy Guacamole I'm Engaged
Distribution: world
Date: 17 Dec 92 18:05:02 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <MJD.92Dec17140638@saul.cis.upenn.edu> mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Clarence O'Day-by-day") writes:
>
>Why?
>--


I'm an engaging gal, I guess.
From: dmccart@gomez.intel.com (D. J. McCarthy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: If happiness is a warm bum, Blair 'farty' Houghton must be ecstatic.
Date: 15 Dec 92 02:57:56 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Intel ASTG, Santa Clara, CA
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]

Andrew Clayton (dac@prolix.apana.org.au) wrote:

> Sure, a few new glass, concrete and steel erections have split
> the view of the horizon, from a million different nooks and
> crannies,
> And I like to watch.


	IS IT ME, OR IS IT GETTTING HOT IN HERE?




--
D. J. McCarthy (dmccart@gomez.intel.com)
Followed up a dac posting!  -15.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ata@sage.cc.purdue.edu (ata boy)
Subject: You guys let me down
Organization: Purdue University
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 14:57:29 GMT

Over the summer I talked with a guy who tried to convince me that
political correctness was a plot to silence those who disagree with
the democrat's party line.  By ostracizing those whose opinions
differ on issues like abortion, feminism, homosexaul rights, etc
most people would be convinced not to take a stand on these issues.
I disagreed with him.  I told him that political correctness was
about tolerance, and those who practice it would allow someone to
differ, even if they personally thought the opinions expressed
were way off base.

I made a bet with this guy that if I were to post a number of
"politically incorrect" articles on the network that there would
not be a major effort from the political correctness crowd to
silence me.

Today I had to concede defeat and pay the guy $100.

ata boy
From: diku0145@diku.dk (Bo Kjellerup)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Amazing slogan for a vegetable
Date: 17 Dec 92 08:44:52 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, U of Copenhagen

ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson) writes:



>                           BROCCOLI!!

>          THE ONLY VEGETABLE THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN ADVERB!!

>                       HAW! HAW!! HAW!!!

>                  COMPLETELY UNLIKE POTATOE!!!


A little bit of a song: Banana-na   :-)


>-- 
>Son, all the pretty, intelligent,      || Ken Johnson                           healthy young women are taken.         || A I Applications Institute
>It's a basic rule of the universe,     || 80 South Bridge                       and if you don't like it,              || Edinburgh,  Scotland   EH1 1HN
>go somewhere else.                     || Phone 031-650 2756   Fax 031-650 6513
>               -- my dad  1906-1992    || E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (Dr. Robert (BoB) Tech)
Subject: Re: Rictus Hep's Last Hurrah
Summary:  my most shameful vice
Organization: The Flying Killfile Ranch
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 06:36:11 GMT



"Hip Hip ..... ahhhhFUCK!"



-- 
if one falls on you,
we just carve your name on it
and leave it there...
mlegare@wetware.com
From: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Arrrrgghhh!
Date: 17 Dec 92 18:20:01 GMT
Reply-To: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


***Warning - You will be disconnected in 5 minutes! Please Finish
quickly!

With another 200 articles to go in t.b is why I now need a killfile.

rp --  "Zreel Kibo!"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: an1788@anon.penet.fi
Subject: gray-eyed Athena
X-Anonymously-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 21:38:52 GMT

        Athena wriggled into the mortal woman's body she had made, tugged a
little at the flesh to make it fit her spirit, and looked at the body in
her mirror.  It had an elfin, mousy little face, dull brown hair ineptly
trimmed to a short mop, a frail little body with high but small breasts
like a little girl's, and a fine buttocks.  It wore tight blue jeans,
frayed and faded but very clean, a baggy T-shirt, and little pink sneakers
without socks.  All that remained of her usual appearance was her enormous
gray eyes.  She tried out a few expressions, becoming almost a goddess in
demeanor, and then an innocent little girl.  She laughed gently at her
droll new form.
        In this guise she seduced him, made him marry her, bore his
children (magnificent demigods and demigoddesses), and slowly aged.
When she could no longer keep him from death, she let him die in his
sleep, and a month later cast off her human form.  A small, cuddlesome
red-haired woman with enormous gray eyes was at the body's funeral.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
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Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:42104 alt.good.news:1144 misc.test:14329 rec.pets:4011 misc.jobs.offered:14900
From: bspencer@cs.mcgill.ca (Brian SPENCER)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.good.news,misc.test,rec.pets,misc.jobs.offered
Subject: Re: something you should know...
Keywords: hate
Date: 17 Dec 92 03:23:48 GMT
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada

In article <1992Dec16.232338.8766@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy) writes:
>it makes me happy to know i could easily hate all of you for no reason
>what so ever. is that good news (to me) or what! have a hate filled break. 
>
>
>--
>			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
>			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1


People like you aren't usually worth the effort but I'll make a special
exception. My advice to you is get your bicycle seat fixed NOW.
Obviously, riding on a metal post has made you exceptionally crabby.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mchaffee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Real Life?!?! HA!!)
Subject: Re: Addiction
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 16:51:29 GMT

Court Demas <court+@CMU.EDU> writes:


>I need a new addiction.  Any ideas?

>-lingus

Nun-beating.  It's the new rave.  

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael T. Chaffee        | mchaffee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu  |  ______    
                                                       |  \    /   HATE
"I chased a rainbow down a one-way street.  Dead end." |   \  /  is not a
     - S. P. McCall                                    |    \/  FAMILY VALUE
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mlsa@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: t.b
Date: 20 Dec 92 07:00:11 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Dec16.212043.13382@black.ox.ac.uk>, tbrann@black.ox.ac.uk (Tony
Brannigan) writes:
>I have just read through about 300 articles.
>
>Half the time it was really cool and I liked it.
>Half the time it was dump and I felt like puking.
>
>A bit like porking a hermaphrodite I expect.
>
>Tony
>--
>"And soon all of us will sleep under the earth, | tbrann@ox.ac.uk
>  we who never let each other sleep above it."  | u90afb@ecs.ox.ac.uk
>   Marina Tsvetayeva 1915                       | oupafb@ox.ac.uk
>

-- 
my name is mike and i'm a .sig-a-holic, i have been virtually .sig free for
ten days now, my life is so much clearer, i pledge to do my best to never
have a long .sig again.  i don't need one because i'm good enough, i'm smart
enough and god darnit, people like me.  ob info: mlsa@lehigh.edu, mike
sherman phone# 758-0207 disclaimer, we don't neeeed no steeenking disclaimer.
From: jws5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JUSTIN WINSLOW SOLONYNKA)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: She Carries Dead People
Date: 17 Dec 92 00:42:00 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University


    It has always baffled me why anything having to do with a mode of
transportation is called a "she".  A ship is a "she", an 18-wheeler is a
"she", even the world is a "she".  Mother Earth.  I suppose our planet is a
mode of transportation as well.
    And that night, when I met the man who ran the trains, well, he referred
to the passenger car as a "she".
    "She was a right fine 'un, she was," he said, shaking his head slowly.
    "We don't use her for people, now, you see, at least not live 'uns."
    "What... what do you mean `live ones`," I asked, more than slightly taken
aback.
    "She carries dead people, now," he said, and his pipe glowed brighter in
the dark.  "They're easier to transport, you know."

sol  |  no door. see the cat? see the cradle?
--
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Hugh Neek)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Bad News
Date: 16 Dec 92 10:07:43 GMT
Organization: The Cutely Jiggling Myrmidons of Anachronism
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

(  Get your submissions in quick.  First come, first
 ) ascended.  Any discrepancies will be settled by
(  the followers - which is usually the case in these
 ) things anyway.

My pal Shergold wants to be Mercury, flat-footed messenger of the postcards.

And I will settle for Minor Deity Without Portfolio.
___
Or President of the Board of Trade.
From: tomf@gte.com (Tom Fawcett)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: short stupid confession
Date: 14 Dec 92 01:16:44 GMT
Reply-To: tomf@gte.com
Organization: GTE Laboratories, Inc.
In-reply-to: thchemb4@oxford.ac.uk's message of 8 Dec 92 21:47:14 GMT


thchemb4@oxford.ac.uk (Tom Weston) writes:
>   I thought thigh-master was a D&D character.

I thought Nintendo GameBoy was a Japanese male prostitute.


-Tom
so many cartridges, so little time
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mrx@sgi.com (cloaking the constant k)
Subject: Re: Holy Guacamole I'm Engaged
Organization: the theory that jack built
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 00:22:26 GMT


in that case, you'll want to pull the
lever on your left.


	mr x

	and press the button marked "interlock"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: Cats and Dogs
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 05:30:41 GMT

In article <Bz3zrs.E90@phage.cshl.org> boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell) writes:
>Here I am reporting to you *live* from Long Island, not that you could
>tell if I weren't. Here in the talk.bizarre/tom boutell news center
>(tbtbnc: tib-tib-NICK) , we're monitoring the storm that has flooded
>New York City, Long Island and New Jersey, and good riddance.

Hell, I knew they were trying to do something about the homeless
up there, but isn't this a little extreme?


-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"Data sheet: HSN-3000 Nuclear Event Detector. The [NED] senses the gamma
radiation pulse [from a] nuclear weapon." As if we wouldn't notice...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: Re: In Search Of
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 17:03:22 GMT

Classical-music melismas can go on forever:

"Liber scri-i-ip-tus pro-o-fer-e-e-tu-ur / In quo to-o-o-tum
co-on-ti-ne-e-tu-ur / Un-de-e mun-du-us ju-di-i-ce-e-e-tur,
ju-di-ce-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e,-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-tur.
Un-de mun-u-un-dus ju-di-ce-e-e-tur, u-u-u-un-de mun-dus
ju-u-u-di-ce-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e,
-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-tur, un-de mun-dus ju-di-i-ce-tur,
ju-di-ce-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-tur." -- Zelenka's Requiem in c minor.

"Sie-he! Ich wi-il viel Fi-scher aus-se-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e
-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e
-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-en-den
spricht der Herr!" -- J. S. Bach, BWV 88.

And these are short ones.

Mark., nobody cares, though
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: thoth@uiuc.edu (Ben Cox)
Subject: Re: Im Gonna Annoy You :)
Originator: ben@ipoint
Reply-To: thoth@uiuc.edu (Ben Cox)
Organization: Ancient Illuminated Sears of Bavaria
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 23:55:01 GMT

Try a better forgery next time, Rob.

--
Ben Cox
thoth@uiuc.edu