From: njs@scifi.uucp (Nick Simicich)
Subject: [alt.fan.howard-stern] FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions about Howard Stern, Monthly Posting
Followup-To: alt.fan.howard-stern
Supersedes: <1992.Sep.1.howard-stern.faq@scifi.uucp>
Organization: N.J. Simicich, Peekskill, NY
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 09:10:10 GMT
Expires: 28 Oct 1992

Archive-name: howard-faq

This newsgroup was formed so that fans of Howard Stern can discuss the
happenings on the show, the comings and goings, and other activities
of Howard Stern.  Some folks don't like Howard Stern.  We know that.
You don't have to take time out of your busy schedule to tell us that.
The answer here is the same as Howard's answer:  If you don't like it,
turn the dial, switch bands, change the station, find another
newsgroup.

Frequently asked questions about Howard Stern:

1.  Who is Howard Stern?  (Frequently heard from NONUS folks.)
1a. Howard Stern is a radio personality.  He came to national
    attention in the USA while working in New York, and currently
    resides there.  He also has a syndicated TV show.  He is
    frequently labeled a 'shock jock'.  Your immediate thought might
    be, "Oh, like xxxxxx (insert name of local shock jock in wherever
    you are)."  No, xxxxxx is like Howard Stern.  He has been around
    for years, he is well known, and chances are that this week xxxxxx
    is doing whatever Howard was doing last week.  If xxxxxx has the
    balls.

2.  What station does Howard Stern's TV show play on in my area?
2a. 1) Look in the TV guide.  
    2) Find your answer in the TV Guide.
    3) Mail it to scifi!howard-listings@uunet.uu.net.  Or to
       howard-listings@scifi.uucp.  Your answer should have exactly
       one line of text, and be in this exact form (note the
       semicolons):

       call letters;city;state;country;time;comments

       Example:

       WWOR;Secacus;NJ;USA;11 PM Saturday;Howard's Flagship Station

       (Note: I've already put this one in.)
       Call letters will be translated to upper case letters only.
       the listing is indexed by the first 14 characters of 
       callsign-city-state-country, so it will also be possible to
       have duplicates.  Last update wins.  Anything extra like the
       name of the cable system should be put into the comments
       section.  If Howard shows more than once in your area, send
       more than one piece of mail. If you get Howard on cable, please
       put the name of the cable system and the cable channel number
       into the comments section, else it is not as useful as it might
       be. 

       The parsing routine is quite simple minded, and looks for five
       (5) semicolons.  Any fewer, and it will reject the line. (It
       should notify you if the line has been rejected).

    4) This list will be published monthly, and you can look at it to
       find when Howard plays in your area if folks from your area
       have contributed to it.

    Please use USA for the United States of America, and Canada for
    those people.  I'm not sure that this matters to anywhere else.
    If it does, please use your ISO abbreviation.
    
    Please don't post these requests, as people will just ridicule you
    for wasting enormous amounts of net resource and hours of peoples
    time on the net because you are too lame to read.  Besides, if you
    are too lame to look up a listing in the TV Guide or the cable
    listings, you should be forced to watch Saturday Night Live and
    listen to Imus.

3.  Well, I've checked the listings, and I've checked the TV Guide,
    and I've called my cable company (or I don't have one), and I just
    don't get it.  I want my Howard.  Is he on Satellite?
3a. Yes.  Telstar-301, channel 17.  Wednesday at 12:15 PM (PST).  If
    this doesn't mean anything to you (it doesn't mean much to me,
    either) consult your satellite dish dealer or ask in
    rec.video.satellite. 

4.  Where can Howard be received on the Radio?
4a. Currently, he broadcasts, daily, from WXRK, K-Rock, 92.3 FM from
    New York City.  This signal is good enough to cover most of New
    York City and the surrounding areas.  This signal is simulcast in
    Philadelphia (WYSP-FM, 94.1), Baltimore (on WJFK-AM 1300), and
    Washington, DC (WJFK-FM, 106.7 FM), and is simulcast in LA and
    then rebroadcast on tape delay when morning drive starts.  The LA
    times and frequency are: 97.1 FM KLSX from 3 to 6am live, and then
    tape delayed from 6 to 11am.  The LA rebroadcast is extra long
    because they insert (yech) traffic reports and local stuff.

    No, you can't hear these signals if you are in Boston.  Bay area
    is out of luck as well.  Chicago is rumored to be the next place
    to get his syndicated radio show.  (Folks, please email me
    frequencies and call signs, and I'll fill them in.)

5.  I'm not in any of those places.  Is there a satellite feed for
    WXRK?
5a. Yes, WXRK is broadcast by SCPC on Hughes Galaxy 2 channel 03.
    Again, you will need to be able to decode this feed, and you
    should ask your dish dealer, or in rec.video.satellite, how to
    decode it.

6.  How can one be expected to figure out who is who among the
    regulars on the show?
6a. Listen for a while.  Want to take a shortcut?  Here is an effort
    to explain:

    Howard Stern - The head of the asylum.  The ruler of the roost,
    the King on NY Radio, and other points.

    Robin Quivers - Howard's sidekick.  Officially his news reporter,
    she is also the confidant and instigator in many cases, and also
    (occasionally) feeds him lines from the privacy of her news
    studio.  Her news reports normally consist of reading the paper,
    and a few things that are put together by her interns.  None the
    less, the news reports are frequently the most entertaining part
    of the show, as Howard comments on everything.

    Fred Norris, King of Mars - Fred handles sound effects (paints)
    and also keeps the show on schedule.  When Howard started
    broadcasting in NY, frequently he would just push off the
    commercials for an hour.  Now that they are syndicated, he has to
    take breaks at regular intervals.  Fred cracks the whip.  He is on
    the writing team.  Fred also does voices for the occasional (these
    days) radio 'movie' and as the Nazi in the 'Guess who's the Jew'
    bits.

    Jackie (The Jokeman, Penthouse Jokepage) Martling - Jackie is a
    comic who never quite made it big, notably because his standup
    isn't very good IMHO.  He writes full time for the Howard Stern
    show, and makes a fair bit of money doing local appearances as
    well, pushed by plugs from the show.  One wonders when he sleeps.
    Maybe during the show.  +1 516 922 WINE gets you a schedule of his
    upcoming appearances, and it is a normal toll call (no 900 style
    surcharge) but has a few ads.  There is more than 30 minutes of
    material on the new all-digital line.  He is also on the writing
    team, as the head writer.

    Gary (Baba Booey) Dell'Abate (sp?) - The show's producer.  He
    arranges guests, insures that the office part of the show gets
    done, and so forth.  For those of you who've read Gulliver, he is
    also Howard's chief flapper - he is generally the one who makes
    the judgment as to whether or not someone speaks to Howard when
    they call up with a beef.  He is called Baba Booey after his
    mispronunciation of Baba Looey, Quick Draw McGraw's sidekick on
    the Hanna-Barbera cartoon show.  He was buying animation cels,
    and didn't know how to pronounce the name of the character,
    despite professing fandom.  Gary does occasional personal
    appearances, for which he gets plugs.

    John (Stuttering John) Melandez - Hero of the stupid.  A paid
    performer on Channel 9, officially on WXRK he is just an intern.
    He is paid in notoriety (he gets to plug his band appearances and
    occasional personal appearances, and might yet get a record
    contract because of his connections [Late Flash: John has been
    signed by Atlantic Records]) and is typically sent out to
    interview celebrities.  The questions are all prepared, but
    sometimes he gets to adlib.

    Scott the Engineer - mixes tapes, inserts the bleeps so that you
    can still hear the cursing in the background, and is hapless when
    it comes to fixing the console.  He is employed by WXRK as Chief
    Engineer, and he is in the Union.  He is making additional money
    because he gets a daily plug, which he has used to build up a DJ
    business.  He has a number of DJ's who work for him and provide
    canned music for parties, weddings (Gary will soon be married and
    will use Scott's service, Rocket Entertainment) and so forth.
    This is good, because Scott smokes like a chimney and I wouldn't
    want him at one of my parties.

7.  How can you listen to someone who is as racist/homophobic/anti
    woman/etc. as Howard Stern?
7a. You just don't get it, do you?  Howard is none of those things, in
    spades: He is an equal opportunity denigrator.  Sooner or later he
    will kick one of your sacred cows in the balls, to mix metaphors
    in an udderly improbable manner.  But he is still very funny.
    Someone on this newsgroup once said that a lot of Howard's humor
    comes from the sort of attitude that says, "Look at all of this
    crap in the world around us!  Isn't it wierd?  Isn't it funny?
    Sit in our circle and we'll let you in on the joke."  Well, some
    of us think that we get the joke.

8.  Is Howard Stern half Jewish?
8a. Definitely.  The question is, what is the other half?  According
    to Howard, it is not Jewish, perhaps WASP.  However, several alert
    readers of alt.fan.howard-stern believe that (with some reasonable
    proof), in fact, the other half is Jewish, and that the half-Jewish 
    identity is something that Howard puts on so that he can insult
    both Christians and Jews with impunity.  However, he is equally
    free with insults of Muslims, Hindus, etc., and does not claim to
    be partially Muslim, so I, personally, don't know who to believe.

    Some folks on the net believe that the other half is Italian,
    based on something that Howard said a while back.  Others point
    out that you can be a Jewish Italian, so this may have been
    another joke.  The Jewish half and the Italian half may well be
    the same half.

9.  I want to write to Howard and tell him (what a dickhead | how
    wonderful) he is.  What is the address?
9a. His address is:
    The Howard Stern Show
    600 Madison Avenue
    New York, NY 10016

    Particularly vehement and stupid hate letters are likely to
    get read on the air.  Clueless ones will may earn a phone call.

10. How do I get a copy of "Crucified by the FCC"?  I called
    1-800-52-STERN, and they didn't have a clue.

10a.They never had a clue, but at one time they could take orders for
    the album.  The album hasn't been for sale for quite a while, and
    is now a "collector's item".  This just goes to prove that you
    should always buy every Howard Stern premium offered, immediately.

Here is the list of where net readers have reported seeing The Howard
Stern TV show: 

Call	Location		Time		Comments

KCOP	Los Angeles, CA, USA	12 AM Sunday	
KMSP	Saint-Paul, MN, USA	1 am Sunday	sometimes not shown
KNBC	San Diego, CA, USA	1 AM Sunday	
KNSD	San Diego, CA, USA	1 AM Sunday	Right After Saturday Night Live
WAVY	Norfolk, VA, USA	1:00 AM Sunday	 following SNL
WBFF	baltimore, md, usa	12:30 AM Sunday Mornings	Fox 45
WFTY	washington, dc, usa	11 PM Saturdays	Channel 50
WGBO	Chicago, IL, USA	10:30 PM Saturday	We can't hear him yet but we can see him.
WHLL	Worcester, MA, USA	10 PM Saturday	Covers Boston area via cable (how I get it)
WLAJ	Lansing, MI, USA	1 AM Sunday	Channel 53 -- Low power ABC Affiliate
WPHL	Philadelphia, PA, USA	11 PM Saturday	Channel 17
WWOR	Atlanta, GA, USA	11:00 pm on Saturday	
WWOR	baltimore, md, usa	11 PM Saturdays	Comcast Cable 32, United Cable 9
WWOR	Cedar Falls, IA, USA	10:00	Westmarc Cable Channel 10
WWOR	NYC, NY, USA	11 PM Saturday	Howard's Flagship Station
WWOR	Secaucus, NJ, USA	11 PM Saturday	Howard's Flagship Station
WYED	Goldsboro, NC, USA	11 PM Saturday	UHF Channel 17 in Triangle Area
-- 
Nick Simicich - uunet!bywater!scifi!njs - njs@watson.ibm.com
SSI #AOWI 3958, HSA 318, NAUI #14065
Join the movement ---  turn 'to bush' into a verb.