HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Chef Boy-Ar-Dee commercial
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 10:08:50 GMT

In article <1992Aug26.084735.26063@cbnewse.cb.att.com> doctor1@cbnewse.cb.att.com (patrick.b.hailey) writes:
>In article <1992Aug25.184114.26074@unislc.uucp> dw@unislc.uucp (Dan Wright) writes:
>>Some I would like to have on tape:  Alka-seltzer "I can't believe I ate the
>>whole thing" and "Try it, you'll like it".   Burger King (or was it
>>Wendy's?)  "Where's the beef?"  Federal Express debut speech compression
>>commercial.   Miller beer "When the day's land surveying is over, and
>>you've sighted that last target and pounded that last stake, now comes
>>Miller time..."  (I used to be a surveyor)
>
>At the Museum of Broadcast History in Chicago, IL, USA they had a special
>presentation of a collection of somebody's idea of the "best" commercials.
>It was old stuff and new stuff, from around the world.  I only saw about
>an hour of the tape, and it was a delight!

My all-time favorite Alka-Seltzer commercial:

The big Boss, Mr. J.G., is going to get "even" with "the boys" at the
next business man's lunch.  He is taking them out to eat at the world's most
obscure Chinese restaurant, which is located in Tibet!

Our story opens with a view of Mr J.G. and the boys, dressed in parkas, 
trudging through the snow on their way to the restaurant.  Once inside, one
of the boys complements J.G. on his ability to pick out-of-the-way restaurants.
The restaurant owner, Moo Shee, takes their order, which of course is given
only by J.G. for everyone.  He orders such things as roast yak with hot sauce,
and lastly: chocolate moose.  "But that's a french dish!" proclaims one of
the boys.  J.G. answers: "No, this is a *real* moose!".  Moo Shee quickly
chimes in: "with special *hot* chocolate sauce!".  (He means spicy, not
temperature.  These dishs are making the boys sick with apprehension of all
of this deadly food to come.)

The scene shifts to during the meal; the boys (and J.G.) are *really* sick.
J.G. has arranged previously to be "rescued" from the situation.  "Important
phone call for Mr. J.G." is loudly announced by Moo Shee.

The next scene is where J.G. is in another room talking with Moo Shee who has
just given J.G. some soothing relief in the form of an Alkaseltzer.  J.G.
drinks it down, says "ah!" and then goes on to tell Moo Shee about how he's
getting even with the boys for past foul deeds, etc., and that he now feels
great since Alkaseltzer helped him recover from the hot food, etc.  J.G. and
Moo Shee exit the back room and stroll into the main room of the restaurant.
They arrive at the table only to find it totally empty.  J.G. asks Moo Shee
"what became of the boys, Moo Shee?".  Moo Shee answers: "Maybe they too
have important phone call, Mr. J.G.!".

A truly funny 60 seconds.

cjl
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: Re: Spaghetti trees
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 22:02:53 GMT

bogart@sabre.larc.nasa.gov (Ed Bogart) writes in
>
>No, realy, this was a send up or put on done by Ernie Covacs on his show
>in the early 50's.  He did a lot of this stuff and I supose that some
>people believed it.
>
>Ed "If you don't know who Covacs is, don't talk to me" Bogart

ObUL:  People old enough to remember Kovack have early stage
Alzhaimer's (sp?) and have forgotten how to spell his name.

Jon "I may not know Alzeheimers spelling, but do know Kovack's" Papai

***************************************************************************
Jon Papai			*	"Television is called a medium
Papai@kcgl.eng.ohio-state.edu	*	 because it is neither rare nor
				*	 well done."
				*		Ernie Kovack
***************************************************************************
From: smb@ulysses.att.com (Steven Bellovin)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Thomas Crapper and Spread Spectrum
Date: 31 Aug 92 08:01:12 GMT

In article <7844@public.BTR.COM>, grady@btr.BTR.COM (Grady Ward  grady@btr.com) writes:
> Also, can anyone verify or debunk the notion
> that Hedy Lamarr (the actress) holds the
> original Spread Spectrum patent in the 40's?

True!  Here's what a friend of wrote for a Women's History Month posting:

	Hedy Lamarr: Did you know that Hedy Lamarr, star of WHITE CARGO
	and SAMSON AND DELILAH, was also the holder of a patent for a
	secret communication system?  Well, strange as it seems, it's
	true.  Lamarr had been married to an Austrain munitions
	manufacturer, and during this time developed a knack for coming
	up with designs for military hardware.  When Austria was
	invaded by the Nazis, she teamed up with composer George
	Anthiel to develop inventions useful to the Allies.  One of
	these was awarded U.S. Patent 2,292,387 on August 11, 1942.
	This invention, entitled "Secret Communication System," used
	synchronized equipment at the sending and receiving ends to
	change frequencies at random intervals so that signals couldn't
	be detected, deciphered, or jammed.  (Anthiel had used
	something similar in his 1927 "Ballet Mecanique," which
	incorporated sixteen synchronized player pianos.)  This
	technique is in common use today by the military.  Lamarr once
	said, "Any girl can be glamorous.  All you have to do is stand
	still and look stupid."  Because MGM wanted Lamarr to remain a
	"glamor girl," they never publicized her more intellectual
	pursuits.

If I remember to, I'll look up the patent in the morning.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Sinking libraries
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 09:13:58 GMT

In article <1992Aug27.132339.9018@bsu-ucs.uucp> 00tdspence@bsu-ucs.uucp writes:
>
>
>Hi.
>
>I'm a student at Ball State U. in Muncie, IN
>and I work at the U library.
>A co-worker of mine says he heard from "a friend who knows somebody" in
>the Architecture College that when our library was being designed,
>the architects did not figure in the weight of the books and therefore
>the building is slowly sinking into the ground.
>
>I know this is an urban myth.
>Could anyone please verify that it is so I can convince the guy I work
>with that he shouldn't beleive everything he hears???

Tell him that they did take into account the weight of the books, but forgot
the weight of the people who might read them.

cjl

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: adrian@cs.uwa.oz.au (Adrian Tulloch)
Subject: Re: Bathroom Embarrassment UL
Organization: Dept. Computer Science, University of Western Australia.
Distribution: world 
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 15:36:51 GMT

A version of this UL did the rounds in Perth, Australia about four years
ago.  However, it finished differently.

According to the version I heard, the boyfriend decided that he *did*
want to see the girl again.  So, he visited her (in hospital, I think) 
and asked her to forget what happened, and to meet his parents again.

She visited again, somewhat embarassed.  His parents greeted her
courtesily, trying to make her feel at ease and forget about the 
bathroom sink. They invited her to sit down.  She sat down on a sofa 
and squashed and killed the boyfriend's pet lap-dog.

After this, she never say the boyfriend.


l
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: bwatson@nyx.cs.du.edu (bruce watson)
Subject: Re: Steel Pennies (was Re: You are humble and loveable.  CHOMP!)
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 92 17:44:33 GMT

In article <1992Aug26.111700.15115@husc3.harvard.edu> joltes@husc10.harvard.edu (Richard Joltes) writes:
>paul@xcluud.sccsi.com (Paul Hutmacher) writes:
>
>>In article <l9ku3jINN7ge@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM writes:
>>>I'm pretty sure that there were a series of chrome pennies (or cents)
>>>minted in Canada (or the US) around 1943, due to copper shortages.  Are
>>>you sure it wasn't one of these you saw?
>>
>>They were steel and not chromed.  I recall they were minted in the US during
>>World War II during a copper shortage.  They're still quite common in coins
>>shops.
>
>Yep.  I have several at home, given to me by my parents.  I think the dates
>on all of them are 1943 and 1944.
>
>And no, they're not worth much except as curiosities.

The '43's are not valuable, but the '44's are.


--
 ___________________________________________________________________________ 
|wats@nyx.cs.du.edu |   "To the extent that it doesn't use mathematics;     |
|   Bruce Watson    |                 it is no science."                    |
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG (Phil Gustafson)
Subject: Re: North Pole (was: The Flat Earth Society???)
Organization: Famed Parquet Floor
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 03:14:46 GMT

In article <4078@moscom.UUCP> de@moscom.UUCP (David Esan) writes:
>
>Amundsen did not reach the North Pole.  He flew over it.
>
>The USS Nautilus reached the North Pole, but to the best of my recollection
>no one got off the ship, so they two failed to actually stand at the Pole.

We are splitting rather small hairs here.  The Pole is a geographical spot:
a few hundred feet high or low doesn't matter much.  In fact, you just said
that the Nautilus "reached" the pole.  I submit that there's little difference.

>The first explorer then to reach the North Pole, and stand there, and
>have no controversy about his position, were the group of explorers who
>recently took snowmobiles to the Pole (about 5-7 years ago).  This is also
>documented in the National Geographic.

I agree with this.  But the National Geographic's handling of the Pole
controversy, which was rather a big thing 80 years ago, seems to be echoed
in their current defense of Peary.  They print pretty pictures, but they're
not a respectable source.

Phil "Let's give Gene an AFU flag to plant in Antarctica" Gustafson
>
>
>
>
>
>-- 
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> -->     David Esan      de@moscom.com  
> 
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------


-- 
|play: phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG; {ames|pyramid|vsi1}!zorch!phil                |
|work: (Under Construction)              | Phil Gustafson                   |
|         "Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile."                     |
From: tms@cs.umd.edu (Tom Swiss (not Swift, not Suiss, Swiss!))
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Just One Calorie...?
Date: 3 Sep 92 16:03:44 GMT
Organization: The Reality Liberation Front (pixels to the people!)

datri@egsner.cirr.com (Anthony Datri) writes:
>[On Fresca:]
>As a kid near Pittsburgh, I always made it a point to check the bottle to
>see if it was one of the few that had one side printed in French.
>
>I stopped drinking it when I saw [ethyl | propyl]ene glycol as one of the
>ingredients.

     I stopped drinking Dr. Pepper for the same reason. I suppose it's
there as some sort of sweetener, but I prefer not to drink chemicals in
the same family as anit-freeze.

===============================================================================
Tom Swiss/tms@flubber.cs.umd.edu| "Born to die" | Keep your laws off my brain!
     "What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?" - Nick Lowe 
          This is a .signature antibody. Vaccinate your .sig!
      "There are some microorganisms that exhibit characteristics of
       both plants and animals.  When exposed to light, they undergo
       photosynthesis and when the lights go out, they turn into
       animals.  But then again, don't we all?"
From: sweeney@Ingres.COM (Tony Sweeney)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Bathroom Embarrassment UL
Date: 27 Aug 92 16:07:58 GMT
Reply-To: sweeney@Ingres.COM (Tony Sweeney)
Organization: Ask Computer Systems Inc., Ingres Division, Alameda CA 94501

In article <804@dsbc.icl.co.uk> abw@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley) writes:
>
>I heard this story so it MUST be true.  Infact, two different FOAFs
>told me about it  - only problem was that they described different
>people, different places and different times.  Oh well, give it a 'U'.
>
>This couple had been seeing each other for a while and he wanted her
>to meet his parents, so they arranged to go round to his parents' place
>one evening.  He came from a very well off family and had a huge house 
>and she was quite nervous about not betraying her more humble background.
>
>All seemed to be going well and eventually the time came for them to 
>leave.  Wanting to answer the call of nature before the long car journey 
>home, she asked his mother for directions to the bathroom.  His mother,
>taking her quite literally, directed her to a bathroom which she was
>horrified to find did not contain a toilet (in the UK a bathroom implies
>a bath, not necessarily a toilet).
>
>Not wishing to appear foolish by leaving and asking for directions
>to a toilet, she decided to relieve herself in the sink, and then just
>pretend on leaving that she had been fixing her make-up or something.
>
>So she hoiked herself up onto the sink which promptly came away from the
>wall, propelling her onto the bath upon which she hit her head and knocked
>herself out.  Upon hearing the commotion, the family ran upstairs and 
>eventually had to knock the door down to find her flat on the floor in 
>a state of various undress with a sink no longer attached to the wall.
>

I've heard this one two, quite A few years ago, from a girl who insisted
that it happened to a coworker. the only variation being that the
weight of the crashed over sink on the backs of her knees was what prevented
her getting up. My friend's story continued with rich boyfriend's folks
making light of the episode, and ushering her back downstairs and offering
her a brandy to calm her nerves. She takes it and sits down, and is 
puzzled by a faint wheeze, which turns out to be the dying breath of
the family peke, which she has just sat on.

>She never saw the boyfriend again.
>
>
>Andy "At least run the water" Wardley

Tony "and I believed her" Sweeney.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jpb@newssun.med.miami.edu (Joe Block)
Subject: Re: Price gouging in Florida and Guam
Organization: University Of Miami, Medical School
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 15:07:35 GMT

bwatson@nyx.cs.du.edu (bruce watson) writes:
: I keep hearing on CNN that there is price gouging in the aftermaths
: of Hurricane Andrew and Typhoon Omar for necessities like ice 
: and food. Surely this is an urban legend like the Red Cross selling
: donuts and coffee to soldiers in Europe. I went through Hurricane 
: Camille in 1969 and did not encounter price gouging.
: 

I am living in the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew, and I assure you, in the
first couple of days after the storm hit, there was plenty of price gouging.

Joe Block
jpb@newssun.med.miami.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: paul@xcluud.sccsi.com (Paul Hutmacher)
Subject: Steel Pennies (was Re: You are humble and loveable.  CHOMP!)
Organization: Greater Montrose UFO Appreciation Society & Data Haven
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 23:48:22 GMT

In article <l9ku3jINN7ge@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM writes:
>I'm pretty sure that there were a series of chrome pennies (or cents)
>minted in Canada (or the US) around 1943, due to copper shortages.  Are
>you sure it wasn't one of these you saw?

They were steel and not chromed.  I recall they were minted in the US during
World War II during a copper shortage.  They're still quite common in coins
shops.


-- 
"There is nothing to history.  No progress,          | Paul Hutmacher 
 no justice. There is nothing but random horror."    | Houston, Texas
"Jupiter" in _The Difference Engine_ Gibson/Sterling | paul@xcluud.sccsi.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: mjg51721@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael James Gebis)
Subject: Re: Pencil in Priorities
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 21:31:40 GMT

IQTI400@INDYCMS.IUPUI.EDU (macphil) writes:
>1) Not everyone will vomit from syrup of ipecac.  I have several friends
>   who are not vulnerable to it.
Just out of curiosity, do you know this by hearsay or by experimentation?

Alternate vomit inducer:  Mustard in hot water.  Don't belive me?  Try it.

Just wait until LONG after you've eaten.
Mike "Yes, I DID try it, so go ahead and make fun of me" Gebis

Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:22244 rec.arts.books:15145 rec.arts.sf.misc:2712 rec.humor:27140
From: thief@kimura.Eng.Sun.COM (Greg Kimura )
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.books,rec.arts.sf.misc,rec.humor
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Date: 27 Aug 92 18:19:17 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: kimura


                      REPUBLICAN DANCE MUSIC

by Greg Kimura

After the Wynonna Judd debacle at the Republican Convention (thousands
of white people clapping out of beat to a disconcerted Judd singing
"Why not me?") many commentators, columnists and political pundits have
knocked Republicans about their inability to dance.  These knocks are 
pretty much in the same vein:

>Most Entertaining Part of the Republican Convention:
>Watching an auditorium full of white people make idiots out of
>themselves, trying to keep time to Waynona Judd.

This politically incorrect obsdervation is an offense to all fair minded
Americans, and must not go unchallenged.  In LeVon Lee's ground
breaking article in the Journal of Endocrinolgy titled "White
Republican Dancing: Genetics or Culture?" found that this type of
arhythmic movement to popular music is perceived by 9 out of 10 white
Republicans as "funky."

Lee suggests that the rhythmically challenged be presented more
prosodic and metrical forms of music, e.g. polkas, before graduating up
to more complex rhythmic forms such as the aforementioned Wynonna
Judd.  Lee maintains that with our patience and committment, these
people are "even capable of dancing to the Republo-Latin beats of
Gloria Estefan."  Tragically though, he notes that the Pointer Sisters
and Michael Jackson are far beyond their primitive capabilities.  "We
must foster an atmosphere of tolerence and understanding for these
people," he said.  Lee calls for Americans to support nothing less than a
full-scale rhythmic affirmative action program.

In support of this program I humbly submit the following song to Rich
Bond of the Republican National Committee:


        THE KENNEBUNKPORT HILLBILLY 

(sung to the Beverly Hillbillies)

Let me tell you bout a story bout a man named Bush
   A rich Yale Grad whose life was always cush
But then one day as he ran for chief exec
   He hung Willie Horton 'round Mike Dukakis neck
Crime that is.  Black Gold.  Texas Tee...

Well the next thing you know ole George is president
   But he chose Dan Quayle to his party's great lament
He named Clarence Thomas to be Justice of his Court
   Pissed off the women with an Afro-Bob Bork
No choice that is.  Back in the kitchen!  Cookies...

Well 4 years later his campaign is on the rocks
   He said don't they know how I bombed 'em in Iraq!
Now he blames all his problems on a congress he abhors
   And the voters tell the polls they want Clinton and Gore.
Bill that is.  Sax playing white boy.  Uppity wife.  And no Perot...


[Forward all you want.  Just give me the attribute.]
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.tv
From: katbea@auto-trol.com (Kathy Beatty)
Subject: Re: Kimberly Dunning, or "Whatcha talking about?"
Organization: Auto-trol Technology Corporation -- Denver, Colorado
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 14:55:59 GMT

ahill@boi.hp.com (Andy Hill) writes:
: katbea@auto-trol.com (Kathy Beatty) writes:
: > You folks must all be using too much dope and alcohol at the same time.
: > 
: HAH!  Just because you have purple fronds growing out of your head, you
: think you're somebody special or something?

Those are really red fronds, they just look purple to you cuz you see
colors different than I do. 
: 
: Andy "Have you ever really, like really, looked at your thumbnail?" Hill

Attached or unattached?


Kathy
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: bobm@Ingres.COM (Bob McQueer)
Subject: Re: The Toroidal Earth Society (was Flat Earth Society)
Date: 4 Sep 92 18:52:13 GMT

In <Sep.3.15.16.18.1992.2770@math.rutgers.edu>,
	dated 3 Sep 92 19:16:18 GMT,
	cromar@math.rutgers.edu (Scott Cromar) writes:

> Of course, a punctured sphere IS topologically equivalent to a plane,
> so if you remove the south pole, you can project the sphere onto a
> plane.  Or if you attach a handle, the sphere would be equivalent to a
> torus.  As anyone who has been to Arches National Monument in Utah can
> attest, the Earth's surface is actually topologically equivalent to a
> multi-hole torus.  Take THAT, you spherical-earth theorists.

If we descend to a level which encompasses relatively small features, and
multiple entrance cave systems, what IS the genus of the earth?  Also,
think of the drastic way in which mankind is changing the basic topology of
the earth by adding handles in the form of bridges and Macdonald's arches ...

They ought to have to file topological impact statements when they build them.

Yours for a nonorientable earth - let's make things interesting.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: You are humble and loveable.  CHOMP!
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 01:16:48 GMT

In article <1992Aug25.135409.23354@bnlux1.bnl.gov> schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder) writes:
>In article <ww-n6g-@lynx.unm.edu> jfreter@triton.unm.edu (The Myth) writes:
>>The best test for the purity of the gold would be to drill a very small hole
>>into the center and drip some 2 Molar HCl.  
>
>Hey, waitaminnit!  I always heard it was _3_ Molar HCl!

Didn't Monty Python produce an album with three molars?

Ted "I waited two days to see if anyone was going to do it..." Frank
-- 
             ......................................................
             ted frank | thf2@midway.uchicago.edu | std disclaimers
             the university of chicago law skool, chicago, illinois
             it's log!  log!  log!  it's big, it's heavy, it's wood
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: chan@elec.uq.oz.au (Chuen Wen Chan)
Subject: Re: The Flat Earth Society???
Organization: Prentice Centre, University of Queensland
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 05:25:38 GMT

Just wondering, why hasn't anyone formed a flat moon society.  After
all, we only see one side of it, why can't it be a flat disc?

Sure, satelites have gone around it, but in the dark, with the
sun shining brightly on the other side, the pictures could be wrong,
couldn't they?

--
*   ,-_|\  	Chuen Chan (chan@elec.uq.oz.au)
*  /     *  <=	Department of Electrical Engineering
*  \_,--_/ 	The University of Queensland, St Lucia
*       v  	Brisbane, Australia 4072
From: wells@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (John Wells)
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 21:50:20 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: Flash pix
Organization: Zanzor of the CLOUDS
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban

[story about eproms and flash cameras]

This might not be so far fetched as it sounds as I have seen EPROMs that are 
light sensitive.  This was an EPROM in a video character display that when 
the top of the computer was off the video screen would blank out for various
characters.  This was thought to be due to the fact that the part was run
through the programing process too quickly and that the charge placed in the 
cell was right at the threshold that a little light would excite the electrons
enough to cause the "0" state to toggle back to the normal "1" state.

Just for watts it worth.     John in the Fort

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban