From: gsbrande@acs.ucalgary.ca (Geoffrey Sean Brandenburg)
Subject: The Return of the Net.Script (LONG)
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 20:39:21 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta



Just when you thought it was gone forever...

... It's BAA-AACK!!

Welcome to the alpha version of Babsie on Board.  It's not as finished as I 
hoped it would be, but grad school has been just a tad busier than I expected!

I have edited this version up to the start of the freeway drive.  This has 
mostly involved adding camera directions (which is NOT as easy as it sounds) 
and tightening up the script in places.

I didn't want to cut out any of the script, so I placed markers (---> <---)
around the bits that could be removed without hurting the rest of the script.

This version of the script has one major change--the removal of the entire 
Calamity sequence.  The replacement sequence was contributed by our new 
co-author, Don Weatherwax.  (Don does not have Internet access, but can be 
reached on Compu$erve.)  

I think that's it.  I'll be posting a proposed intro to "Hit the Road Day"
when I get around to typing it in.  

Enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



                             TINY TOON ADVENTURES

                               BABSIE ON BOARD


Copyright 1992 by The Association of Amateur Alt.Tv.Tiny-Toon Net.Writers.  No
part of this document may be copied, transcribed, produced or animated, in whole
or in part, without the written consent of the writers mentioned above.  In 
fact, you should be pretty darn grateful that we're even letting you READ it!


                                 Written by:

              Sean Brandenburg      (gsbrande@acs.ucalgary.ca)
              Christina M. Callihan (c-chan@mcl.ucsb.edu)
              Julian Fong           (fong_jh@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu)
              Marc Hart             (iaexp000@blurt.oswego.edu) 
              Julie Hazeltine       (v050lp7c@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu)
              Robert Jung           (rjung@aludra.usc.edu)
              Kevin J. Podsiadlik   (hampton@ais.org)
              Don Weatherwax        (76635.2734@compuserve.com)

                        Story editor:  Sean Brandenburg

********************************************************************************


                                    CAST LIST

ANGELIC CHOIR (voiceover only)
ARNOLD
BABS
BABS'S MOTHER
BUSTER
HAMTON
MONTANA MAX (no lines)
MORTIMER (no lines)
NARRATOR (voiceover only)
PLUCKY

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FADE IN:

INT. BABS'S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON

PUSH IN ON BABS, who is lying casually on her bed.  She is talking on the 
TELEPHONE and gesturing casually with her right hand.  In her RIGHT HAND she 
holds a LEARNER'S PERMIT.

                                        BABS
                              ...Yeah, Harriet, I finally got my
                              learner's permit. I'm soooo excited!
                              No more walking, no more buses...
                              Now I can get some wheels and really 
                              go places!

Babs pauses and looks at the permit.

ON LEARNER'S PERMIT.  The permit consists of two side-by-side PHOTOGRAPHS 
beneath which is a NAME.  The photographs are full-profile and full-frontal 
shots (in the style of a police mug shot) of an out-of-focus monster.  The 
name reads "Babra Anne Bnny".

                                        BABS (CONT) (VO)
                              'Cept I've seen better pictures from
                              the Hubble telescope.

                                        BABS'S MOM (OS)
                              Babs, hon, are you ready?  Mortimer
                              and I are waiting.

ON BABS.  She glances off-screen with a look of annoyance.


                                        BABS 
                                   (to Harriet)
                              What? Oh, they said I gotta 
                              (SARCASM) practice how to drive 
                              first, so I'm driving Mom to the
                              store.  What a waste of time.  I
                              mean, how hard can driving be?  You
                              point the car and floor it!

                                        BABS'S MOM (OS)
                              Babs!  Please hurry up.

                                        BABS
                              I gotta go now, Harriet. I'll let
                              you know how it goes.  Byeeeeee!


Babs dashes OUT OF FRAME, leaving a BABS-SHAPED CLOUD behind.  The telephone 
receiver drops into the hand of the cloud, who places it on the hook and 
fades away.


EXT. OUTSIDE BABS'S BURROW - AFTERNOON

BABS jumps out of her BURROW hole and poses.  She is wearing an English driving 
outfit, complete with DRIVING HELMET, GOGGLES, MUFFLER, and GLOVES. 

                                        BABS 
                                   (Proper English 
                                   accent)
                              Oh, I say!  What marvelous weather 
                              for a motor through the countryside. 
                              Absolutely smashing!  Now where did 
                              Jeeves park my motorcar?

PAN LEFT to show the family CAR parked behind and to the left of Babs.  The car
is a sleek, red, LAMBORGHINI, illuminated by a HEAVENLY LIGHT.


                                        ANGELIC CHORUS (OS)
                                   (sung) 
                              Hallelujah!

--->
REVERSE ANGLE ON BABS, who clasps her hands together and lays her cheek on
her hands.

                                        BABS
                                   (Long, contented 
                                   sigh)

<---
REVERSE ANGLE ON CAR.  The heavenly light vanishes and the Lamborghini shimmers
away to reveal a drab, yellow K-CAR.  Babs leaps INTO FRAME, wearing her REGULAR
CLOTHES.  Babs opens the car door, then looks AT CAMERA.

                                        BABS
                              Well, I can dream, can't I?


INT. INSIDE CAR - AFTERNOON

VIEW INTO CAR THROUGH WINDSHIELD - SLIGHT DOWNSHOT.  In the front passenger's 
seat is BABS'S MOM, whose face is always hidden behind the SUN VISOR.  In the 
back seat, seen from between the front seats, is MORTIMER.  Babs's mom is 
wearing her SEAT BELT, and Mortimer is seated in a CHILD SAFETY SEAT.  Babs 
climbs in, slams the door, and puts on her SEAT BELT.

                                        BABS'S MOM (VO)
                              Now, Babs, do you know what to do?


BABS'S MOM'S POV DOWNSHOT ON BABS.  Babs looks AT CAMERA.


                                        BABS
                              Of course, Mom! No sweat!  

Babs faces forward.

                                        BABS (CONT)
                                   (impersonating 
                                   Julia Child)
                              First, we apply zee accelerator.
                              Hm.  No -- excuse me; first we put
                              zee car in gear; (FAILS TO PUT CAR
                              IN GEAR) Oh -- pardon; first we 
                              insert ze key, like so. (BABS 
                              INSERTS CAR KEYS) zen we turn ze
                              key; (TURNS KEY, STARTING ENGINE)
                              zen we apply zee accelerator.
                              (ENGINE RACES AND KEEPS RACING)
                              Oh -- of course.  We must put it
                              in gear...


Babs is still pressing the accelerator to the floor, RACING the engine.  We
see her hand reach for the gearshift.

EXT. OUTSIDE CAR - AFTERNOON

ON CAR.  The car, which has been quivering as the engine races, lurches back 
onto its rear wheels and then quickly speeds forward OUT OF FRAME with a loud 
SQUEALING of tires, leaving behind a thick cloud of exhaust.

INT. INSIDE CAR - AFTERNOON

BABS'S POV THROUGH WINDSHIELD -- SLIGHT UPSHOT.  The scenery outside the car 
begins to zoom past at breakneck speed.  Everything outside the windshield
begins to take on a BLUISH TINGE.  

--->

                                        BABS'S MOM (OS)
                                   (slightly upset)
                              Now, Babs, hon, you know you
                              shouldn't make the tires squeal
                              like that!

REVERSE ANGLE ON BABS who looks sidelong at her mother through narrowed eyes.

                                        BABS
                                   (disgusted)
                              Yes, mother.

<---

ON BABS and BABS'S MOM.  Babs is driving confidently.

                                        BABS
                              Gosh, this is easy! 

Babs turns to face her mother.

                                        BABS (CONT)
                              I told you I didn't need practice!


                                        BABS'S MOM (VO)
                              There's a stop sign coming up, dear.


BABS'S POV THROUGH WINDSHIELD -- SLIGHT UPSHOT.  A distant STOP SIGN rapidly
approaches the car.  REVERSE ANGLE TO BABS'S FACE, which has a look of panic.

ON BABS'S FOOT.  Babs stomps on the BRAKE PEDAL.

EXT. OUTSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON.

ON DRIVER'S SIDE OF CAR.  As the car screeches abruptly to a stop, through the 
DRIVER'S-SIDE FRONT WINDOW we can see Babs and Babs's Mom leaning forward in 
their seats but held back by their seat belts.  Through the DRIVER'S-SIDE REAR 
WINDOW we see Mortimer's SAFETY SEAT shoot forward, as if it were on rubber 
bands, but still attached to the REAR SEAT BELT.  The safety seat stops moving 
forward and hangs suspended in mid-air in front of the REAR-VIEW MIRROR.  
Mortimer grabs the mirror with both hands.

The car stops with a loud SCREECH.  Mortimer looks at camera with a look of 
CONFUSION.  He releases the mirror and remains suspended for a moment.  The 
safety seat flies backwards and hits the REAR SEAT with a loud "WHAM!". 

INT. INSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON

ON REAR SEAT.  Mortimer and the safety seat are imbedded in the rear seat, 
with only Mortimer's FEET showing, wiggling slightly.


EXT. STREET OUTSIDE 'TWENTY-FOUR CARROTS' GROCERY STORE - AFTERNOON

This is a TWO-WAY STREET with the STORE on the right-hand side.  The
street is lined with PARKED CARS on both sides for as far as the eye
can see.  There is one PARKING SPACE open on the right-hand side of the
street, conveniently situated directly in front of the store.  There
is a FIRE HYDRANT on the sidewalk beside the open parking space.

BABS'S CAR drives INTO FRAME on the right-hand side of the road.  

INT. INSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON

ON BABS AND BABS'S MOM.  Babs is searching for a parking place.


                                        BABS'S MOM (VO)
                              Okay, Babs, we're here.  Now find a
                              place to park.

                                        BABS
                                   (pointing to her 
                                   right)
                              How about over there?

                                        BABS'S MOM (VO)
                              Parallel parking is tricky, dear.  
                              Maybe we should find a parking lot.

                                        BABS
                              No way!  I've seen this done a 
                              million times.  How hard can it be?

--->
A THOUGHT BALLOON appears above Babs's head.

ZOOM IN ON THOUGHT BALLOON.

The thought balloon contains a large, leather-bound BOOK.  The title is in
Old English lettering and reads THE CAREFUL DRIVER'S GUIDE TO THE ROAD.  Soft
MUSIC-BOX MUSIC plays.  Birds TWITTER.

                                        NARRATOR (OS)
                                   (mellifluous
                                   storybook voice)
                              The Careful Driver's Guide to the
                              Road.

The book slowly opens to chapter twelve as the narrator continues.

                                        NARRATOR (CONT) (OS)
                              Chapter Twelve:  Parallel Parking.

DRIFT IN ON DIAGRAM IN BOOK.  The diagram becomes more and more complicated
as the voice proceeds.


                                        NARRATOR (CONT) (OS) 
                              First, stop just past the space so
                              that your rear bumper is even with
                              the rear bumper of the car next to 
                              you.  (VOICE PICKING UP SPEED) 
                              Next, turn your wheel all the way 
                              to the right and shift into reverse.
                              Check if anyone is coming up behind
                              you.  (FASTER AND FASTER)  Then back
                              up approximately one-third car 
                              length and stop, reversing your 
                              wheel all the way in the other 
                              direction so that your right rear
                              wheel just kisses the curb and your
                              car's front bumper rotates into the
                              space just missing the rear bumper
                              of the car ahead of you adjust for
                              position until you are equidistant
                              from the vehicles on either side and
                              come to a complete stop if you are
                              more than a foot from the curb turn 
                              your wheel from side to side and go
                              back and forth and back and forth 
                              and back and forth until you are 
                              within the maximum allowable 
                              distance for your jurisdiction!
                              <pant> <pant>

The THOUGHT BALLOON evaporates,  

<---

ON BABS, who is smiling peacefully.

                                        BABS
                              No problem.  Easy as pie.


EXT. OUTSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON.

ON CAR, which is next to the parking space.  Babs pulls the car forward until 
it is even with the car in front of the parking space.

                                        BABS (OS)
Okay, first:  rear bumpers even.

INT. INSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON

ON BABS, whose brow is furrowed in concentration.

                                        BABS
                              Next, shift car into reverse and
                              turn all the way to the left.

Babs shifts the car into reverse and turns the wheel to the left.

                                        BABS (CONT)
                              No, right.

Babs turns the wheel to the right.

                                        BABS (CONT)
                              Or was it left?  No, it was right.
                              Okay, now check the mirror.


Babs adjusts her MIRROR and does an AGHAST TAKE at it.

ON REAR-VIEW MIRROR.  A DIESEL LOCOMOTIVE is bearing down on Babs's car from 
behind.  A muted TRAIN HORN sounds.

ON BABS, who understandably panicks.

                                        BABS
                              AAAAAAAAAAHH!!

ON GAS PEDAL.  Babs STOMPS on the gas pedal.

EXT. OUTSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON

ON CAR.  The car BURNS RUBBER as it SQUIRMS around in a tight backwards arc, 
spinning perfectly into the space.  It ends up facing the WRONG DIRECTION.

A split second later, a huge train RUMBLES past at high speed in the lane the
car formerly occupied.  Its HORN sounds dully.  In a second or two it is past.

INT. INSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON

ON BABS'S MOM, whose face remains hidden behind the sun visor.


                                        BABS'S MOM (VO)
                              That was very good for a first try,
                              dear.  Now be a good bunny and watch 
                              Mortimer for me.  I'll only be a
                              few minutes.

Babs's mom leaves the car.  As she slams her door, PAN TO BABS.

Babs is frozen in a rictus of terror, hands locked around the steering wheel, 
teeth gritted.  Mortimer CLAPS from the back seat.  Babs shivers, covers her 
face with her hands and GROANS.

                                        BABS (VO)
                              What a day.  What else could go 
                              wrong?


                                        ARNOLD (OS)
                              Vhat is dis!??

As Babs looks to her left, PAN RIGHT to include ARNOLD, who is standing outside
the car and looking in the DRIVER'S-SIDE WINDOW.  Beside Arnold is the FIRE 
HYDRANT.  ARNOLD is wearing a police officer uniform, complete with SUNGLASSES, 
TICKET PAD, and an "AAPD" SHOULDER PATCH.


                                        BABS (TO CAMERA)
                              I had to ask.

                                        BABS (CONT) (TO ARNOLD)
                              Yes, Officer?

                                        ARNOLD
                              Hear me now you poor excuse for
                              a pink bunny rabbit.  You are
                              parked next to this fire hydrant!
                              Move dis vehicle now or go
                              to jail later! 


                                        BABS
                              Fire Hydrant?


The fire hydrant GLEAMS in the sun.

                                        BABS 
                                   (flustered)
                              But...but....I just parked....
                              I can't dr......my mother is....

                                        ARNOLD
                              Listen to me now and understand me
                              later.  Move dis vehicle or get a
                              TICKET!!!!!


EXT. OUTSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON.

ON ARNOLD.  Arnold pulls out his NIGHTSTICK and slams it into the
side of the car, with sufficient force to drive it out of the parking
spot.  

OVERHEAD SHOT OF CAR.  The car spins several times and ends up on the far 
side of the road, facing the proper direction.

INT. INSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON

ON BABS.

                                        BABS
                              No problem, Mortimer.  We'll just drive
                              around the block until Mom is finished.


BABS'S POV THROUGH WINDSHIELD -- SLIGHT UPSHOT.  Babs drives a short ways 
and stops at a red light.  BUSTER, PLUCKY, and HAMTON are standing on the 
sidewalk.

EXT. OUTSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON

ON BUSTER, PLUCKY, AND HAMTON, who are waiting to cross the street.  Plucky 
points toward Babs's car.

                                        PLUCKY
                              Hey guys, look, it's Babs!

FOLLOW THE TRIO as they run to the car.

INT. INSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON

ON FRONT SEAT.  Babs tries to look cool and in control as Buster leans in the 
FRONT PASSENGER'S WINDOW.


                                        BUSTER
                              Hiya, Babsie.  How about a lift?


                                        BABS
                              Well, actually Buster, I have to...

                                        BUSTER
                              Great!  Come on, guys!


PULL BACK so the entire interior of the car is seen.  BUSTER climbs into the 
FRONT SEAT.  PLUCKY and HAMTON get in the BACK with Mortimer.  Plucky is on 
the PASSENGER'S SIDE, Hamton on the DRIVER'S SIDE.  Mortimer is in the MIDDLE.
Mortimer glances at the new passengers and WAVES.

ON BABS.  Babs turns and looks into the back seat.

                                        BABS (VO)
                              Guys, I don't think...

ON PLUCKY.
                                        PLUCKY
                              I didn't even know you could drive, Babs.
                              You must be pretty good if your Mom lets
                              you drive the car alone.

REVERSE ANGLE ON BABS.
                                        BABS
                              Actually, Plucky, she didn't...

ON HAMTON.

                                        HAMTON 
                                   (interrupting)
                              Yeah.  _Incredibly_ good!


REVERSE ANGLE ON BABS.

                                        BABS 
                                   (preening)
                              Well, yeah.  Good?  I'm grrrrrreat!  


CLOSE-UP OF BABS'S FACE.  A somewhat PSYCHOTIC SMILE slowly crosses Babs's 
face.

                                        BABS
                              Hang on and I'll show you some REAL driving!


EXT. OUTSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON.

ON TRAFFIC LIGHT.  The light turns GREEN.

ON REAR OF CAR.  The car shudders and takes off at light speed.  Almost 
immediately it vanishes into the distance.

FOLLOW THE CAR FROM OVERHEAD.  The scenery flashes by on either side of the car.  

ZOOM IN ON CAR UNTIL WE ARE LOOKING INTO THE WINDSHIELD.  BABS has a MANIC GRIN 
on her face.  BUSTER, PLUCKY, and HAMTON are looking QUEASY.  

INT. INSIDE CAR -- AFTERNOON.

ON BABS AND BUSTER.  Babs glances at Buster and notices his discomfort.


                                        BABS
                              Hey, what's with you guys?  Isn't 
                              this FUN?

                                        BUSTER
                              Oh yeah, just...

Babs CUTS OFF a car, which BLARES its horn.  Buster cringes.

                                        BUSTER (CONT)
                              ...just PEACHY! 


ON HAMTON.
                                        HAMTON 
                                   (timidly)
                              Babs, don't you think you should 
                              slow down a little?

ON BABS.
                                        BABS
                              Aww, don't be a wet blanket, Hammy!
                              I've got everything under control!


--->
Babs screams around a turn!  SEATBELTS STRETCH as Buster and Plucky
are thrown against their doors and Hamton and Mortimer are thrown into 
Plucky.  *SQUOOSH!*


ON SQUISHED PLUCKY.

                                        PLUCKY 
                              Oh, sure, nooo problem!  I was 
                              planning to get liposuction anyway.  

<---

ON BABS.  Babs looks at her passengers.

                                        BABS
                              Geez, you three sure are tense!  


Babs glances at the CAR STEREO.

                                        BABS (CONT)
                              Maybe some tunes will loosen you up!


--->
                                        PLUCKY (OS)
                              If I get any looser, I'm gonna need 
                              some...

ON BUSTER.
                                        BUSTER 
                                   (brightly)
                              Duct tape?

ON PLUCKY.  Plucky leans forward towards Buster.

ON BUSTER AND PLUCKY.

                                        PLUCKY
                                   (aside to 
                                   Buster)
                              Gimme a break, Buster, I've got only so many
                             lines in this script.  

<---

ON BABS.  Babs looks down at the TAPE HOLDER between her and Buster.  She
pops it open and begins rummaging through it, naturally paying no attention 
to the road.


                                        BABS (VO)
                              Let's see....  Madonna?  No....  
                              M.C. Hammer?  Naaaahhhhh.... 
                              The MILLS BROTHERS?!  How did _that_ 
                              get in here?


ON BUSTER AND BABS.  Buster looks down at Babs.

                                        BUSTER 
                              Uh, Babs...maybe I should do that.

                                        BABS (VO)
                              No sweat, Buster, almost done....


BUSTER'S POV THROUGH WINDSHIELD -- SLIGHT UPSHOT.  The car swerves
mindlessly into the RIGHT-HAND LANE.  A large FREEWAY ENTRANCE sign 
appears:

        +----------------------------------+-------------+
        |                                  |  SPEEDWAY   |
        |      /\     SAFE AND SANE        |  OF DEATH   |
        |   |\/ /     STREETS              |    +--+     |
        |   |  /                           |   _|  |_    |
        |   |__\                           |   \    /    |
        |                                  |    \  /     |
        |__________________________________|_____\/______|


The car passes under the sign, still in the right-hand lane.  

--->

A small booth FLASHES past on the right-hand side of the road.  Sitting at the 
booth is MONTANA MAX.  The sign above the booth reads "ACME LIFE INSURANCE -- 
5 cents".  A sign on the front of the booth reads "The insurance agent is IN."  

<---

REVERSE ANGLE ON BABS AND BUSTER.  Babs's head is still below the dash.



Plucky leans INTO FRAME.
                                        PLUCKY
                              Babs... oh, Babsie-boo, a moment if 
                              you please....

                                        BABS (VO)
                              Don't get your tailfeathers in a 
                              twist, Plucky, I'll find something 
                              you like!

Hamton leans INTO FRAME.

                                        HAMTON
                              But Babs...

                                        BABS (VO)
                              Sorry, Hamton, I'm NOT playing the 
                              Mills Brothers.

                                        BUSTER 
                                   (losing it)
                              BARBARA ANNE BUNNY!!!!


Babs's head jerks up.

                                        BABS
                              DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!!

                                        BUSTER, HAMTON AND PLUCKY 
                                   (in unison)
                              YOU'RE HEADED ONTO THE _FREEWAY_!!!

                                        BABS
                              I'm _what_?!


BABS'S POV THROUGH WINDSHIELD -- SLIGHT UPSHOT.  We see an overwhelming
number of cars rushing around the car at extremely high speeds.  A
CLOVERLEAF in the distance crawls with even more cars, all traveling at 
supersonic speeds. 



                                        BABS (breathing heavily,babbling,
                                        trying to keep her sanity, and
                                        losing the battle)
                              Ok...  I think I remember reading about 
                              Freeway driving.....


                                        PLUCKY (with a hysterical edge)
                              You planned this, right Babs?  Tell me
                              you know what you're doing.  

Everyone flinches as Babs enters the freeway proper.  Amazingly, she merges
without hitting anything.

                                         PLUCKY (even more hysterical)
                               _Please_ tell me you know what you're doing!


                                        BABS (optimistically)
                              Uh, sure.  Of course I know what I'm doing.  
                              All I have to do is survive until the next
                              exit (she laughs hysterically).  And make 
                              my way back to the store...(more laughter)
                              Simple enough (Babs then has a total 
                              breakdown)


                                         BUSTER (shaking Babs)
                              Babs!  Snap out of it!


                                         BABS (still dazed)
                              Huh?  What?  Sure, Buster, no problem.
                              Everything's under control.

Outside the front windshield we see that Babs has somehow crossed the line
of traffic.  A gigantic truck bears down on the car, horn blaring.

                                         ALL
                              AIIEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!

Cut to overhead shot of the freeway.  Babs's car just misses the truck.  
The car is clearly out of control.  It swerves all over the place, just 
barely weaving between cars.
 
As the scream ends the camera cuts to a front windshield persepctive of 
the car.  HAMTON and PLUCKY can be seen in the back seat, clutching the 
sides' of the CAR SEAT, eyes tightly shut.  MORTIMER looks quite sleepy.  
In the front seat, BABS is just out of shot, and we see BUSTER 
with his ears covering his eyes.  Presently he lifts his right ear to uncover
an eye.
 
                                        BUSTER
                              Are we still alive?
 
BABS sticks her head into shot, with a slightly peeved look at BUSTER.
 
                                        BABS
                              Well, naturally!
 
Cut to exterior shot, from point of view of the median strip.  The car is, 
quite against the normal laws of physics, clinging to the wall of the freeway, 
and even driving along it.  The rest of the traffic is confined to the more 
conventional roadway.
 
                                        HAMTON (O.S.)
                              But, Babs, we can't...
 
                                        BABS (O.S.)
                              Just don't think about it, Hamton.
                              Look at it this way, at least now
                              we won't have any problems with...
 
Just then, an oncoming car, also driving on the wall, appears with horn 
blaring.  BABS'S CAR just swerves out of the way in time.  Another car follows
behind the first, and again disaster is only just averted.
 
Cut to interior of car, from perspective just behind the back-seat occupants.  
PLUCKY and HAMTON have resumed normal seats. BABS looks backward momentarily, 
displaying an angry look.
 
                                        BABS (shouting)
                              Crazy drivers!!
 
BABS turns her attention back to the wall, while PLUCKY leans toward 
HAMTON.
 
                                        PLUCKY (aside)
                              As if she's got room to talk...
 
(Rear exterior shot.)
 
                                        BUSTER
                              Maybe you better pull over, Babs.
 
The car pulls "over" to the top of the wall, so that its tires and more than 
half its body hangs above the top of the wall.  Gravity, which has been taking
a beating the last few scenes, sees an opening to reassert itself.  The car
falls over the wall and onto the [astonishingly deserted] service drive,
landing squarely but none-too-gently, right-side up.  Relatively speaking.
Camera point-of-view, however, maintains the car as being right-side up, so it
will appear that the rest of the world suddenly rights itself.
 
Cut to front-windshield view of BUSTER and BABS.  The rear-seat occupants are 
out of view.  BUSTER is giving BABS a nasty look, which is causing an
embarassed look on BABS'S face.  A moderately loud HISSING NOISE can be heard.
 
The upper half of HAMTON's head appears from behind the front seat.
 
                                        HAMTON
                              What's that hissing noise?
 
Close up of BABS, looking thoughtful.
    
                                        BABS
                              Well, let's see.  It's either
                              the radiator overheating, all four
                              tires going flat, or...(trails off)
 
                                        PLUCKY (O.S., strained)
                              The air bags going off?
 
                                        BABS (brightening)
                              Yeah!  How'd you...
 
Cut to perspective from BABS' corner of the passenger compartment.  BUSTER, 
PLUCKY and HAMTON are all being pinned to their seats by separate AIR BAGS.  
MORITMER's eyes are shut, and he is for all intents and purposes, asleep.
 
                                        BABS (not so cheery)
                              ...guess.
 
Suddenly the steering wheel airbag goes off and BABS is pinned to her seat as 
well.  Her arms start waving frantically.
 
Close up of "automatic windows" control on BABS' armrest.  BABS' hand just 
manages to hit the control levers.
 
Exterior shot of car, passenger's side.  The windows all roll down, and the
air bags float up and out the windows, but only mostly, since they are still 
attached to the car.  By the laws of Toon Physics, this is sufficient for the 
car to levitate, and it does so.  Gravity loses again.
 
                                        PLUCKY (O.S.)
                              Does Ralph Nader know about this feature?
 
Long distance shot of the flying car, as it floats swiftly towards the point-
of-view.  As it passes, we get a brief pan of the front seat, where BUSTER is 
looking nervously out his window.
 
                                        BUSTER
                              I hate flying, I hate flying, I...
 
BABS leans over and cups her hand to her mouth in BUSTER's direction.
 
                                        BABS (stage whisper)
                              Wrong fan script!
 
                                        BUSTER instantly regaining composure
                              Oh.
 
The car sweeps past so that point-of-view is now a medium shot of passenger 
side.  Out of nowhere, a DeLorean flies by.  The DeLorean's driver's door is
open.  Hanging from it by one hand is STEVEN SPIELBERG.  He is holding a script
in the other hand and appears to be arguing with the driver, MICHAEL J. FOX.
Christopher Lloyd can be seen in the passenger seat.  The DeLorean vanishes,
leaving behind two tracks of fire.  (This sequence should take no longer than 
one second.)

Next to him, PLUCKY now starts to climb out his window.
 
                                        PLUCKY
                              Well, it's been real, guys, but I just
                              remembered some homework I need to st.., er,
                              finish, so I really gotta fly.
 
PLUCKY jumps out the window.  BABS, BUSTER, and HAMTON rush to look out 
that window.  Cut to their point of view momentarily to show an overhead 
silhouette view of a silly-looking duck with arms outstretched, spiralling 
gracefully groundward.  Which is rather a long way down by now.
 
They all look up.  Cut to all three of them in medium shot.
 
                                        BUSTER (to BABS)
                              So, any suggestions for us non-flying types?
 
                                        BABS
                              (looking strained, but still confident)
                              No problem!  I'll have us down in a minute.
 
Cut to close-up of BUSTER and HAMTON looking suddenly worried.
 

                                        BUSTER
                              That's what I'm afraid of.

Close-up of BABS, who removes a hairpin (harepin?) from her head.

 
                                        BABS
                              I remember this from an old TV show...
 
Extreme close-up of a section of the AIR BAG, and part of the sky.  BABS'S
hand, with HAIRPIN, motions to puncture the AIR BAG.
 
                                        BABS (O.S.)
                              All you have to do is make a really tiny
                              hole in the balloon and...
 
The AIR BAG is punctured.  Stay on a closeup of the HAIRPIN, as the car
rapidly sails off into the distance with an audible PHZZ-WHOOSH.  Finally 
the hairpin falls from view as the car becomes a small dot in the distance.)
 
The camera moves back to the car, following it as it zips aimlessly through
the skies.  Buster, Babs, and Hamton are screaming in the background.  The 
car falls faster and faster until it lands squarely on some telephone lines.  
The lines bend until the car almost touches the ground.  Then they spring 
back, launching the car back into the air.  It flies in an arc and lands 
upside-down on the air bag.  There's still enough spring in the air bags to 
launch the car back into the air, which is what happens.  As the car bounces 
off the air bags the entire air bag system is torn off.  Buster and Hamton
are also thrown from the car and land in the middle of the air bags.

Closeup on the airbag.  Buster's head appears from the middle of the mess.

                                        BUSTER (dazed)
                              Say goodnight, Hamton.

Hamton's head appears, half covered with the air bag.

                                        HAMTON (dazed)
                              Goodnight, Hamton.


Buster and Hamton groan and collapse.

The camera switches back to the car.  Babs is still screaming.  The
car, again arcs through the air, righting itself in the process.  It 
lands on all four wheels on the right hand side of the road and rolls 
to a stop outside the TWENTY-FOUR CARROTS grocery store.

Camera shot on the inside of the car.  Babs is sitting upright in her seat, 
looking straight ahead with a stunned expression on her face.  She is 
holding the wheel with a death grip.  

Babs's mom opens the passenger door and gets in.

                                        BABS'S MOM
                              Oh, good, you turned the car around.  Now
                              let's go home, Babs.

                                        BABS 
                                        (speaking slowly and without moving,
                                         using her stick-in-the-mud voice
                                         from "Senserely Yours")
                              Home?  Oh, sure, home.  No problem.

                                        BABS'S MOM
                              Are you okay, Babs?

                                        BABS
                                        (still speaking slowly and without 
                                         moving)
                              I'm perfectly fine.  Why do you ask?

                                        ARNOLD (O.S.)
                              Stop right there, little pink girly-type bunny.


Babs looks silently out the window to see Arnold the Policeman.  

                                        ARNOLD
                              You are charged with turning WRONG at a RIGHT 
                              turn only intersection, breaking the law of
                              gravity, and operating a car-balloon without
                              a permit.  Give me your license.

Babs slowly hands her learner's permit to Arnold, who tears it up and hands 
it back to her.  

                                        BABS
                              Don't say it...


                                        ARNOLD
                              Hasta la vista... Babsie.

Babs groans and collapses forward, her head hitting the horn.  As the horn
blares, the camera IRISES OUT.


THE END (no kidding!)

******************************************************************************


-- 
Sean Brandenburg         | Jafar.  Jafar.  He's our man.
gsbrande@acs.ucalgary.ca | If he can't do it... GREAT!!! 
Newsgroups: alt.tv.tiny-toon