From: wdw@math1.sma.usna.navy.MIL (Wm. Douglas Withers -- math  FACULTY <wdw@sma.usna.navy.mil>)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: Interracial Dating FAQ (was Re: Montel Williams Show)
Date: 1 Oct 92 19:26:23 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: U.S. Naval Academy

(Almost) all the responses to my original query made most interesting
reading.  In particular, I would like to respond to some of Mr. Hu's
comments.

1. In article <1992Sep30.220727.25293@CSD-NewsHost.Stanford.EDU>
ajh@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Alan Hu) writes:
>[The following is meant to represent a question coming from someone like
>Mr. Withers, and is not meant to represent Mr. Hu's point of view:]
>4.  That's easy to explain -- Asian guys are too sexist, or Asian guys
>	look feminine, or Asian guys have language and social-skill
>	problems, or Asian guys are geeks, or Asian guys are wimpy, or
>	Asian guys have small penes.  Besides, it makes sense that
>	Asian girls are in heavy demand, since they're oh so sexy
>	and nice and, like ultra-feminine, and they know how to treat
>	a man right, and if there are any hot Oriental I mean Asian
>	babes out there, please send me some email, 'cause I'm a really
>	nice guy.  Right?

Tsk tsk.  It seems that even we white-bread, European-ge, American-cu
(sorry for introducing this cumbersome nomenclature) males are not safe from
stereotyping.  But no hard feelings; in fact, I'll be doing some stereotyping
of my own before the end of this message.

2. Mr. Hu, I never saw that you make any distinction between Asian-ge Asian-cu
(sorry again for lumping such variety under the heading `Asian-cu') and
Asian-ge American-cu.  I get the impression that you are only considering
American-cu.  Perhaps the issues are different for Asian-cu and Asian-ge
American-cu?

3. I noticed one inconsistency in your media brainwashing theory; to wit,
that AAM are brainwashed into finding CF attractive while CM are brainwashed
into finding AAF attractive.  I believe there's some truth to your theory,
but you need to work on the details.  In particular, if Asian-ge American-cu
males have special trouble getting girls, perhaps a major reason is indeed
that they are victims of Hollywood.  I am not thinking so much of *how*
Asian-ge males are depicted as *whether* they are depicted at all.  I don't
remember many movies where the male romantic lead was an Asian-ge (but I've
seen some).  But there are many categories of people who are victims in this
way (accountants, overweight people, ...).

4.  My original question, if you recall, had to do with resentment.  In your
whole list of questions, this is one that you never addressed directly. I
must say I don't perceive any resentment towards AAF in your message
(although it is to be found in some of the other replies I received).

5.  Very little discussion, so far, of the role of CF in this situation.
After reading, for example, Mr. Dale's reply, I might suggest that, if
an AAM must resent someone for this situation, CF might be a more appropriate
target than AAF (*not* that I'm advocating resentment).  

Now here comes the stereotyping.

My own dating experience (a looong way back; I've been married for twelve
years) included both American-cu and Asian-cu women.  I developed a
marked preference for Asian-cu women over American-cu but (Wait! Wait!
Don't shoot yet!) I state in my own defense that Asian-cu women also
seemed to like me much better than American-cu.  For example, Asian-cu
women seemed more likely to find intelligence or education an attractive
trait in a man than American-cu.

I never have figured out just what it is that American-cu women look for
in a mate.  I've seen several polls of American (presumably mostly
American-cu) women in which they express no little disappointment in their
choice of mates.  Recently after observing the romantic tribulations of several
close Asian-cu friends I developed the following theory:

American-cu women are like those hotels where you check in and the remote
control for the TV is bolted to the nightstand.

That is to say, American-cu women seem to maintain a reserve of mistrust
for their own protection.  One can hardly blame them, given the low levels
that some American-cu men can sink to, but all the same, it takes some
of the fun out of the relationship.  (American-cu women out there?  Feel
free to call me names.  But I am *not* saying this is your fault.)

I would like to thank also the others who responded to my query.

Flames? Comments? Anyone?
-- 
Els Withers                   email: wdw@math2.sma.usna.navy.mil
Department of Mathematics     phone: (410)267-3192 / fax: (410)267-4883
United States Naval Academy
Annapolis, MD  21402-5002     Senri no tabi mo ippo yori...