Newsgroups: bit.listserv.autism
Date:         Wed, 11 Nov 1992 10:26:54 EST
              <AUTISM@SJUVM.BITNET>
From:         Lisa S Lewis <LISAS@PUCC.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: parent-teacher conference

Dan, I think you're going to get LOTS of feedback. Here's mine:

On Wed, 11 Nov 1992 09:12:39 EST Daniel Mont said:
>We had our parent-teacher conference on Monday and there is good news
>and bad news.  The good news is that we had our best interaction with
>Alex's teacher to date.  We feel that she is beginning to know Alex

This is great news, because if you can enlist this teacher as your ally,
you're way ahead of the game.

>we were very pleased with the speech teacher's goals and strategy for
>meeting those goals.  Alex is in a three day a week, 1/2 hour, take
>aside program with two other boys.  Alex is working on conversational
>and social language skills, and the other boys are working on different
>skills.  In essence, they take turns modelling for each other.  Alex
>likes this time a lot.  It is very structured, he is very engaged, and
>we are happy because he is getting some positive social interaction.  The
>same is true for his twice a week, out of class reading enrichment program.
>
This is also great.  Three times a week is more than most people get, I
think. And it's a wonderful opportunity for appropriate social interaction,
since the therapist is guiding it along.

>The problem is we still feel that many opportunities to help Alex develop
>socially in the larger groups, more free floating time periods (like
>the playground) are being missed, and will continue to be missed without
>an aide.  Alex's teacher feels he does not need an aide, that he is not
>that far out of line with other kids and he does have interactions with them.
>and our observations (me once for a little while, Nanette for one morning, and
>the birthday parties Alex has attended) do not confirm this.  Again, we are
>wondering if not "too far out" means he is not a discipline problem.
>
I hope you follow your own (and Nanette's) gut feelings on this.  You may be
overstating the case when you worry that Alex's social behavior is acceptable
simply because he's not being disruptive, but that doesn't mean that your
goals for his social interactions and the teacher's are the same. And you have
every right to press your point on this.

>Anyway, as I have stated earlier we have the right to demand an aide. It
>turns out the funding for this is supposedly not available (even though it
>is in his IEP) and if we did get an aide it would almost definitely
>not be full-time (full-time was not specified in the IEP although we
>did discuss that at the meeting -- though we did say our goal would be
>to phase out the aide over the course of the year).  Alex's teacher was
>not clear what we would want the aide to do.  When we explained how we
>thought an aide could function to help integrate Alex into social activities
>and facilitate his development she did seem persuaded that an aide could
>be useful.  She, however, has another idea.
>
It is interesting to me that they told you that there is no funding available
for you to get Alex an aide.  If an aide is written into his IEP, it is illegal
for them to discuss with you the expense involved. Did you know that? It is
OFTEN a technique of school officials to discuss money, because in many
cases it is enough for a parent to just assume it isn't possible.

BTW, you should RUN to get a diagnosis on Alex.  The school district
is entitled to federal reimbursement for disabilities, and autism gets them
one of the highest levels of reimbursement (I think blind/deaf gets the most.)

>Alex was given a Key Math test. His skills were measured at the fifth grade
>level. He just turned five years old last month.  The school is very
>excited (we are actually a little scared) and focuses on his precociousness
>more than his problems (one administrator suggested moving him into the
>second or third grade...can you BELIEVE it! Fortunately his teacher said
>absolutely not, she recognizes the need for him to be in kindergarten
>and work on his social skills and wants him removed from the kindergarten

Of course, you didn't fall into THAT trap.  Haven't these people done ANY
reading or research into autism? Don't they know that it is not that uncommon
for autistic children to demonstrate extraordinary abilities?  In my son's
preschool class (all six are either autistic or PDDNOS) three have been reading
for three years! And none of them were "taught."

I got really incensed when I read this part of the message, about wanting to
focus only on the strengths and not the problems.  Of course it's good to use
those strengths...they'll be Alex's saving grace. Not only because, as you
stated, he'll be able to "support himself," but because it  gives him
something he's really good at. When a child has difficulty with social
relatedness, whatever can help his self-esteem is to be nurtured. And you've
got so many obvious choices for that. But to lose sight of the problems
just because he *does* have so many strengths would be criminal.  I can't
believe this was even suggested!

>class as little as possible...thank heavens we don't have to fight
>*that* silly battle). Well, it turns out there is an untapped source
>of money from Project Opportunity to provide in-class mentors for
>academically advanced students.  The idea being that a teacher comes
>into the class and works with Alex on academic subjects. The benefits,
>as the teacher sees them, of this program are (1) he is not completely
>removed from the class, (2) it will be more possible to get a better
>trained aide via this source of funds, (3) the aide might be able
>to spend more time with Alex than an aide from special ed funds, (4) Alex will
>be engaged and challenged. Many of Alex's problems are exacerbated when he
>his bored.
>
>There is validity in what she says.  Our hope is that this mentor could
>also be trained to deal with Alex's social problems and even though on
>paper she is supposed to only work with academic issues that she sees
>her role more broadly than that.  To ensure that we want a more defined
>list of social development goals placed into Alex's IEP.  Anyway, we
>have yet another meeting on Monday to discuss the mentor option, the

I can understand your feeling that it might be helpful to have a mentor
serve as a quasi-aide, but I see a real drawback here.  When the mentor is
working with Alex, he'll be in his glory.After all, he'll be doing interesting,
challenging work that keeps him engaged.  He won't need her/him to help
with anything social at that time.  But will that mentor be around when he's
isolated on the playground?  Unless the mentor can be there for the times
when the interaction is UNstructured, I think you'd be better off with an
aide too.

Is it possible to structure things so that Alex's speech (and mentoring
schedule) are near to each other in time, and either at the start or the end
of the day?  I ask that, because if so, you could perhaps get an aide for
part time, just to cover those "free" periods when Alex needs more help.

>s older, and (2) find things that make him happy (he LOVES math).  On the
>other hand, I think people are going to continue to say, "What's the
>big problem. I mean, your son is five years ahead in math and reading.
>What's the worry?"  They think we are being overprotective and
>selling him short.  We think they still don't fully understand who
>Alex is.  I must say that I am very confused and my emotions range
>from being excited and hopeful to worried, scared, and confused.
>
I am sure that lots of parents on this list would love to be in your position,
having a child who has so many strengths. But you are right not to let them
brainwash you into believing that you're being "overprotective" and selling
him short.  It sounds like these people need more information about autism!

Let us all know how it goes at your next meeting.
Lisa