From: v129j6ed@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (This is F.U.N.)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.misc,alt.comics.lnh
Subject: LNH: The Lost Postings From Spring 1992
Date: 12 Dec 92 15:17:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


This story was not complete.  I'm missing the part when the LNH 
first meet Table, and go with him to Y-Plex Burp's headquarters,
along with the battle that ensued leading up to Table's aquirement
of both the Ring of RetConn and the Cosmic Plot_Device.



LEGION OF NET.HEROES PART ONE:
AGAINST THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL.NET.VILLAINS
CHAPTER I

As the Legion of Net.heroes charges out into battle against Dr. Killfile
(in true 27-to-1 hero style) Dr. K feels he's a little outnumbered,
even though he's holding his own.
   Suddenly, there's a scream of IKUZEI!!, and something goes scream-
by in a blur and a lot of speed-lines, sending Marvel-Zombie-Boy and
Loquacious Lad flying!
  He comes to a stop, standing beside Dr. Killfile. He's slightly
shorter than your average hero, with a black bodysuit, and loud green
hair that mysteriously droops over one eye...
   YES, IT'S MANGA-MAN!!
He turns to his new found ally. "Are we gonna trash these baka, or what?"
  The blacker-than-black plated sections of his bodysuit flex as he slowly
assumes a very weird Martial Arts position. Dr. Killfile appears slightly
worried by his appearance, not knowing whether or not to trust this green-
haired entity. The Net.Heroes, not knowing quite what to expect, stand stunned
in bemusement. 
  "Hah! You load of over-shaded blocky Ameican supposed 'hero' types!" he 
challenges, and with a cry of IKUZEEEIIIIIII!!! and lots of BAKABAKABAKA!!!,
he erupts into a whirlwind of black and green as his power suit propels him
at (and through!) the assembled Net.Heroes! While their ability to manipulate
vocabulary far outweigh Manga Man's, with such cries as "Shit!!", "let'sgetthe
fuckouttahere!", and one or two "die, scum - urgh!"'s, this verbal abuse seems
to merely slide off his armour's sheen, and few of the Net.Heroes seem to have
taken any combat skills...
  Opening up a section on his power armour's hand, Manga Man ejects the mouth
of a gun, which he uses to spectacular effect to knock the second floor out of
a nearby building, thus dislodging Lurking Girl who was up there preparing to
Post in a last desperate effort to stop him...
  Most of the lesser Heroes scatter. Luckily, Parking Man has
parked the team's huge, 100-ton van neatly in a 60 degree parking area, and the
ineffective members of the team pile aboard.
  Kid Yesterdaze gets up a bit dazed, takes out a copy of FF245, mutters "I
hate wasting a good issue...", and throws it in MANGA-MAN's face!
  Manga Man is temporarily blinded by the overshaded figures, but his hardwired
powersuit, in a defensive move, rips the copy from his face and disintegrates
it in a few short shots. Manga man turns to face his adversaries...
  "Baka. Now you've done it! I was going to let you off, but now you're for it!"
  He presses a button on the laserdisc player on his armour, and suddenly the
air is filled with the entire, original soundtrack for AKIRA playing 
subliminally. Completely overcome by the information overload (mostly trying to
work out the plot...), the Net.heroes cover their ears, but to no avail. Manga
Man attacks...
 Suddenly, Lurking Girl drifts through the battle - and through Manga Man. As we
all know (having seen Kitty Pryde do it about 4 gazillion times), comic science
dictates that insubstantial hero + electronic doohickey = busted doohickey.
 "Now just wait a minute", says Comics-Snob-Boy, "this is nothing impressive.
It may be a bit flashy, and I agree the graphics are good, but it's basically
just another juvenile powertrip, without any of the deeper insights of, say,
Lone Wolf and Cub, or even Usagi Yojimbo".  He thus manages to completely
block the latest nefarious attack from Manga Man, and without lowering himself
to a peurile "puncheminnaface" four color style.
  Kid Yesterdaze is momentarily entraced by the music.  He then frowns, "Not
bad, but have you ever heard Sgt. Pepper's?"  Not waiting for an answer, he
starts shuffling through his satchel.....
 Completely unaware that she has just foiled Manga Man's attack, Lurking Girl
focuses the totality of her lurking powers*, and turns solid long enough to 
gasp to her fellow heroes "Y-plex...starch...must stop him!" before collapsing
into oblivion/Comix Limbo for another while...
[*did I mention I thought of changing my name to Psylurke?  >;-) ]
  Irony Man, in his hardsuit, puts up a fair effort against the whirlwind, but
finds even his imperviousness severely hampered by Manga Man's special effects.
  As he is piling aboard the bus, the Fanboy (incarnation #32, you know him)
is caught a glancing blow across the torso by a set of stray speed lines. He
collapses in a pool of blood, which dribbles from his mouth onto the ground in
a truly gross manner... a victim of Manga Man's special effects.
  While Manga Man's fighting abilities are far superior, he is outweighed in 
numbers, and is beginning to tire. Throwing the Net.Heroes back for an instant,
he gathers all his energies and with a cry of "IKUZEIIIII!!!", blasts all
within a 60ft radius with a huge energy blast, directed from the Psychommu
systems in his suit. The Heroes, stunned, fall back as they are severely 
depleted by the blast. Manga Man falls to his knees, but the Net.Heroes are
done, and leave for a more peaceful locale.
  Dr. Killfile approaches. "My name is Dr. Killfile."
  "I know," replies Manga Man wearily. "I read your synopsis. Quite impressive,
but simply ignoring the problem doesn't mean it's not there. We need a more
direct approach."
  Dr. Killfile agrees. He helps Manga Man to stand, and they head to the 
Doctor's secret base, where the Doctor will monitor Manga Man as he recupes,
and Manga Man will tell the Doctor of his plans for a Wave Motion Flamer.

Meanwhile, having tapped into Net.heroes communication systems sometime ago,
	Y-plex Burp, (see issue #52 of The Might Of Capt'n Quaalude) thinks
        to himself, "Dr. Killfile could be useful to me."
"Average Thug, come here!"
	Average Thug enters.
"Average, take this message to Dr. Killfile.  Tell him I need an answer
	at once.  Oh, and on your way out, tell exceptional thug to
	activate Operation: Dry cleaning."
"At once, sir!"
"Soon these heroes will be out of my way once and for all! MUHAHAHAHAH!"

That night, all over the world, dry cleaners were kidnaped and replaced 
with robotic duplicates.  Then the robots searched through all the dry 
cleaning to be done, and when they found any sort of costume, they used
too much starch.

"No more mister nice I'm-gonna-destroy-planet-earth guy!  Let's see those
	Net.Heroes do a splash page with itchy costumes! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Lurking Girl, moving through the shadows in Y-plex Burp's command center 
(hey, it's in a direct line between the MacLab and her dorm!), overhears
his nefarious plot.  She must warn the LNH!  But how?  This is her second
post in a WEEK--she is straining her power to its limits already!*  She
grits her teeth, intensifies her concentration, and focuses the totality of
her lurking powers to escape Y-plex's notice and warn her colleagues....

[*Ed. Note:  Lurking Girl's natural state is invisible and intangible,
 especially when trying to get someone's attention.]

"WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!"
Went Y-plex Burp as Exceptional Thug pushed Y-plex's chair around the room.
"Faster, FASTER!  I've got you now Net.Heroes! MUHAHAHAHA!  TA-KA-TA-KA-TA-KA!
 BOOM! Take that! And that and that and that!  Oh, enough fun.  Push me over
 to my desk."
Y-Plex pushes a button on his desk.
"Secretary Thug, get me security thug."
"Right away sir."
"--swing on a star, carry moonbeams home in a jar.  Or would you--"
Y-plex Burk thinks to himself, "Someday, I've gotta come up with a way
 to pump elevator music into LNH HQ."
"Security Thug, here."
"Ah, security thug, have you been paying attention to the highly sensitve
 detection equipment?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you seen anything, ANY-THING out of the ordinary?"
"No, sir. All's quiet down here."
"Very good, continue."
Y-Plex Burp hangs up.  He leans back into his chair.
He thinks to himself,  "Good. good.  If we haven't detected anybody, then
Lurking Girl has already been here.  All is going according to plan."
"Exceptional Thug!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Are all the dry cleaners replaced?"
"Yes, sir.
"And the costumes?"
"Itchy and scratchy, and ready to be shipped out."
"The capes, did you remember the capes?"
Y-plex leaps from his chair.
"THE CAPES MUST BE STIFF AS BOARDS!  THEY CAN STILL DO SPLASH PAGES AS LONG
 AS THEY HAVE CAPES THAT CAN FLAP IN THE WIND!!!"
"Uh... yes, sir.  I rem-membered the capes."
"Good. Good.  Begin shipping out the costumes.  Then make sure phase two is
 ready.  We might have to act quickly."
"Right away, sir."
"AFTER... you have pushed me around some more."

"WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!"

  Marvel_Zombie Boy senses something wrong back at the upside clubhouse,
because, now it is right side up. he turns around to see this big
pile of dung, landing upon him, smothering him to death.  A cloaked
figure stands alone in the room, decides to cast his spell onto the
pile.  The dung disappears, and Marvel-Zombie Boy has now reverted to
the Golden Age D.C. Comic Swipper Man.  

  Before the cloaked figure leaves, he tells the changed individual,
"The Time Crapper Has Returned!"

  Stunned by this savage attack, the newly-transformed Comic-Swiper Man staggers
about in a daze.  As he is recovering, a low hum is heard, and Y-Plex Burp
appears in a flash of CRT light.  With him are two of the ever-present Thugs,
with the names "BIG" and "TOUGH" on their shirts.  Also with him is an Evil
Robot Duplicate (tm) of Marvel Zombie Lad.
  Burp quickly takes in the situation and scowls.  Muttering to himself and
scowling, he quickly pages through a rolodex which appears out of nowhere.
"HA!," he cries, "I knew it!  I scheduled a replacement of Marvel Zombie
Lad with an Evil Robot Duplicate (tm) for today WEEKS ago!  I HATE villains who
ignore proper Villain Etiquette!"  He pauses to ponder the situation.
  "Since I don't have time to make an Evil Robot Duplicate (tm) of Comic-Swiper
Man before my lunch appointment, I guess I'll just have to use the Cosmic Plot-
Device to fix things," he says, pulling a strange looking alien gizmo from his
back pocket.  Pointing it at the nearly recovered Comic-Swiper Man, he pulls the
trigger, turning Comic-Swiper Man back into Marvel Zombie Lad and stunning him
all over again.  The Thugs immediately jump on the hapless net.hero, pummeling
him soundly.  Y-Plex Burp and the Thugs then teleport away with him, leaving the
Evil Robot Duplicate (tm) in his place.  As they vanish, Marvel Zombie Lad 
mumbles something about, "Y'know, they used to do this all the time in Fantastic
Four...oooh, my head!"

Sitting on top of his Digital Clock headquarters, The Time Crapper watches
the incredible scene of the omnious return of Marvel_Zombie Boy on his
36 inch TV watch and thinks to himself, "I will have to get that Y-Plex Burp
back for his interference with my plans to re-create all of the current heroes
back to the ones of yesteryear.  Foiled Again. Time to watch those re-runs
of 'Lost In Space' again."

  A large cloud of smoke rose from the back of Dr. Killfile's labs. He rose from
behind the gently smoking machine, swore, and kicked it. The smoking stopped.
Manga Man wandered into the dim room from out the back where he had been getting
his daily requirement of Ramen noodles.
  "What the hell's that?" he asked intelligently.
  "It's a teleconferencing machine," replied the Doctor, plugging a few leads
into the back and adjusting the vertical hold. "Some guy's sent an average
thug over to tell us he wants to talk. This is the safest way."
  Manga Man nodded his approval. He still needed to recupe some strength after
his psychic blast, and could do without a confrontation.
  "Ah, there we go!" With a final switch-flick, Dr. Killfile turned on the
machine. The image of Y-plex Burp's office rezzed up hazily on the screen. 
The fact that Y-plex did not have a teleconferencing terminal didn't seem 
to matter...
  "Mr Burp, I presume," enquired Dr. Killfile. Burp span in his swivel-chair
several times before focussing dizzily on the virtual window suspended in
the air in front of him.
  "Uh... Yeah?"
  "I believe you wanted to speak to me? What was it about?"
  Manga Man leaned forward in anticipation...

  Y-Plex Burp wirled around to see Dr. Killfile Via his Universal Widget
Pulling off his propellor beanie with one hand and and motioning with the other,
Y-plex Burp turns back around and slumps into his chair and he says,
"We seem to behaving some problems with the transmition."
A thug with the word, "EXECEPTIONAL" walks over to the camera cand messes with
some one the controls.  The screen goes fuzzy.
  Sounds of squeeking chair and people yelling, "Take This!  Take IT!  Push me
over to the desk!  Fix my hair!  We're ready?  Ok, now."  The screen refocuses.
A dark, shadowy person is seen sitting behind a desk.  The lighting is bad 
making it imposible to see his face.  A large man stands next to him, apparently
it the man who fixed the transmistion.
  "I wasn't exspecting you to reply so soon.  But no matter, I've been working
on a device such as yours, but I haven't been able to get parts.  It seems
that you are the one who bought the store out.  You see, while your device
will only delete files that mension LNH, I can modify it with this!"
  Y-Plex holds out his hand.  In it is a non-descript computer chip.  "It is
IT! (see issue #54 The Might Of Capt'n Quaalude)  I finaly got my hands on
IT.  After all this time, to have IT.  IT's a dream come true!"
  Leaping up from his seat, the bottom half of Y-plex's face can been seen.
He smiles.  "I'm giving IT to you.  Along with instructions on how to install
IT.  IT, when activated, will make your device vastly more effective.
So more effective, so more powerful, that if I were to tell you now what IT
could do, IT would ruin the entire suspensful ending!"
  Y-plex sits back down.  He places IT in a little box and pulls out a large
3 ring folder.  He hands both to Exceptional Thug and motions to the camera.
"Take IT." Exceptional thug reaches through the screen and hands both to 
Dr. Killfile.  "Send Manga Man out to fight with the Net.Heroes.  I'll
activate my emergency back up plan, and between us, buy you the time you'll
need to modify your device.  Y-plex, out."  The screen goes blank.

		   (Cut to Y-plex Burps's secret base.) 

  "Exceptional, activate Operation: Foo-Barred"

		    (Cut to Net.Heroes head quarters.)

  The Evil Robot Duplicate (tm) of Marvel Zombie Lad walks over to LNH
comunication's panel.  "Attension all LNH members,  I've discoved the 
location of Y-Plex Burp's secret base..."

MeanWhile, back at stately Ellicott Complex, young Benjamin Pierce is writing
his new comic book, X-Wives, the mutant stories of bored housewives who have
gained their mutant ability while cleaning house, a radioactive pencil is 
thrown at Ben, stabbing him in his right arm. Ben, alarmed by this, stands
and turns around, looking like one of the 3 positions that Rob Liefeld 
draws, and sees noone there.  He appropriately places a bandage on the 
damaged area of his arm, and returns to seat.  Re-reading his page of
text where Toilet-Scrubbing Woman fights off the evil Grime and Dirt,
he notices some of the words are changing on the page.  Puzzled by this,
he finds that half-way thru the fight, Toilet-Scrubbing Woman's weapon,
the Plunger from Hell, has changed into her Toilet Paper of Truth, taken
away from her by Door to Door Salesman, then having her Plunger back
on the next page.  After thinking what could be happening, Ben takes a rest
from his work to do a little reading.  He picks up the new Star Trek: The
Yuppy Generation novel, and starts to read.  Half-way down the first page,
he noticed names have been switched, and dead people have taken the places
of ones that were named earlier on the page.  Ben, feeling that he is 
going to have a nervous breakdown, throws the book across the room, and
decides to take a nap.  After some time, Ben is awakened by a knock at the
door.  He opens the door to see a tall man with one wooden arm, carrying
a bunch of plates.  As Ben looks at him in awe, the stranger speaks:
"hello Ben, my name is Table. I am here to train you to use your new
found powers for good."  Table walks into the room, bends over and 
seemingly changes into a table, placing some dishes on top of his back.
"I realize that you have a unique power that must be controlled, or the
fabric of every story around you, will be affected.  You must have a
secret identity.  You will be named Plot-Error Man."  Ben,  not
believing what is happening to him says under his breath, "I wonder
if Aunt May had this happen to her, when she was a High-Lord...."



LEGION OF NET.HEROES PART ONE:
AGAINST THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL.NET.VILLAINS
CHAPTER II

  From the roof of the Pizza Parlour, Manga Man looked down upon the small
group of Net.Heroes munching on pizza while standing around the team's 100-ton
van. He took a quick count. There were 7 - Dr. Stomper, Bad-Timing Boy, 
Parking Karma Kid, Procrastination Boy, Sidewinder, Squid Boy and Super-Apathy
Lad. 'Hmm, seven-to-one. Sounds typical', mused Manga Man. 'Oh well, my
literary prowess should be no match for my Special Effects and Timing. After
all, I only have to delay them so that Parking Karma Kid isn't with the main
group, so they can't find a parking spot!'
  He leapt from the top of the building, just hanging in the air for a split
second with a barely-audible 'tching!'. He landed in a cloud of dust, between
the van and the Pizza Parlour and rose, green hair waving gently in the breeze.
  "So, we meet again. This time, no mercy."
  "IKUZEEEIIIIII!!!!"
  The LNH raced toward the base of the evil Y-plex Burp and the ERD (tm)
of Marvel Zombie Lad led the way.
  Y-Plex Burp watched via his universal widget.
"Exceptional, How close are they?"
"They'll be here in a matter of minutes."
"Have we gotten enough people together?"
"No, sir."
  Y-Plex got up from his chair and started to walk around the room.
"Has Dr. Killfile got IT installed yet?"
"We project he'll take another 2 hours?"
"And how long until we've reached everybody and have our forces deployed?"
"We'll be ready by morning."
"It's going to be close, ya know?"
"It's for the best, sir.  We can't let it go on any longer."
"Is it?  If we fail..."
"Sir, I'm a thug.  The people who work for you are thugs.  But... since
  we started working for you, we're more than just thugs.  We've..."
"No need to say anymore.  But time is running out, we're gonna have to
  speed up the time table.  See to it that all the people we kidnaped are
  taken to the final dramatic sceen.  Oh, Almost forgot."
  Y-Plex reaches over and presses a button on his desk.  The wall behind
Y-plex opens up and Marvel Zombie Lad can be seen in a room.
"Your friends will be here soon.  And while your waiting, here's a comic
  to read."
  Y-Plex pulls a comic book out of one of his desk doors and pushes it through
a slot in the glass wall.
"It's one of a kind.  Issue #54 of The Might Of Capt'n Quaalude.  Give it a
  read.  Might find it interesting."
Y-plex presses the button again and the wall closes.

After handing his application for the Legion of Net Heroes, Sig.File Man
heads to Subway to meet some of his old comrades from the days of the
Tantalizing Teens.   After ordering a Cold Cut Combo with everything on
it, he joins up with SideKick Man and Cliche Dude.  SideKick Man has
already finished his sub, while Cliche Dude is working on his second.

"Hey guys. I just handed in my application for the Legion of Net Heroes,
and they may take me in", says Sig.File Man.

"Yo, Dude. Like you used to be Kool, now you are just followin' the rest
of the crowd.  You used to be a trend maker for a couple people, but now
you are now in one.  You used to be a lead--", says Cliche Dude in
disgust.

"Why don't you just calm down.  I am tired of having the responsibility
of leading people.  I happen to like the idea of being part of a larger
organization.  It has its advantages.  I do not have to be on every
mission, and I like the pension plan they have", informs Sig.file man.

"Hey Cliche. I guess I will only be your sidekick, instead of being
both of yours."

"Wonderful." Cliche Dude says in between his final bites of his sub.

"Maybe you guys can also join up", points out Sig.File Man. 

"We will think about it, but do not count on anything", claims Cliche
Dude. 

"Let's head to Cd shop. I heard they have an import Kate Bush cd
single that I do not have in my collection yet, and I'm dyin' to 
get it", says SideKick Man with a big smile on his face.

"Alright. We'll go."

Our trio walks along minding their own business when Sig.File Man
sees the Legion's van, and convinces the others to go with them to
see if they can talk with the Legionnaires.  When they get around
the van, they notice Manga Man.

"IKUZEEEIIIIIIIII!!!!!!" screams Manga man.

"Hey, its Manga Man.", points out SideKick Man.

"You know if we capture him, I may get to join the Legion", exclaims Sig.
File Man, as he pulls out a sig.file out of mid-air.

"Groovy!!!!!!" yells Cliche Dude.

  Calling upon his powers, Squid Boy calls upon the Great Squid. He feels 
the Squid taking over his body just as Manga Man is distracted by the 
sudden and unexpected appearance of a large .sig file in the area. While
Manga Man is deciding what to do, The Squid quickly entangles him using
Squid Boy's body. Manga Man is rapidly pummelled into unconsciousness by 
the droning of Cliche Dude's phrases, while SideKick Man stands by and 
looks useful. 
  The Net.Heroes (now with the new members of Sig.File Man, Cliche Dude
and SideKick Man) quickly pile Manga Man into the back of the van and
prepare to contact the rest of the Heroes.
  "Dr. Stomper here - reporting, we have captured Manga Man!"
  "That's great!" replied Captain Cleanup from the Upside Headquarters.
"We've got good news, too - Marvel Zombie Lad has discovered the location 
of Y-plex Burp's secret lab! We're heading over there right away. You'd
better bring Manga Man back here first, since we don't want him running 
around at the scene of the conflict, and also - we need the van."
  "Roger. We're on our way!" finishes Cliche Dude.

  "Whrr?" queried Manga Man as he woke up in the back of the van, which
was travelling uptown at excessive speed. He was bound, and the power in
his power armour had been cut. He could hear a droning noise off to the
side. 'Hmm,' he thought, 'I'll break out and give these Net.heroes what
for!' He rolled over, and it was then that he saw what was making the
noise. The van's VCR was playing 'RoboTech'. 
  "AAAGH!" screamed manga Man, threshing in his bonds. "Noooo! You can't
expose me to Macek's hack job! It's terrible! The dubbing sucks! The 
plot...! My god! STOOP! Gimme the original Macross!"
  After several more seconds of this, Manga Man succumbed to the effects
of Minmay's singing (in English, the Japanese was better) and slumped to
the floor, unconscious...
  The Net.Heroes sped on.

Manga Man is temporarily blinded by the overshaded figures, but his
hardwired powersuit, in a defensive move, rips the copy from his face
and disintegrates it in a few short shots. Manga man turns to face his
adversaries...

"Baka. Now you've done it! I was going to let you off, but now you're 
for it!"

He presses a button on the laserdisc player on his armour, and
suddenly the air is filled with the entire, original soundtrack for
AKIRA playing subliminally. Completely overcome by the information
overload (mostly trying to work out the plot...), the Net.heroes cover
their ears, but to no avail. Manga Man attacks...

Suddenly, Lurking Girl drifts through the battle--and through Manga
Man.  As we all know (having seen Kitty Pryde do it about 4 gazillion
times), comic science dictates that insubstantial hero + electronic
doohickey = busted doohickey.

Completely unaware that she has just foiled Manga Man's attack,
Lurking Girl focuses the totality of her lurking powers*, and turns
solid long enough to gasp to her fellow heroes "Y-plex...starch...must
stop him!" before collapsing into oblivion/Comix Limbo for another
while...


The shadows seemed to dance behind our heroes as an otherworldly
figure appeared on the scene.  Out of view of the assembled might of
the Legion, a smile played across his face as he surveyed the scene.
Had anyone not been focused upon the lurking girl, Psylurke, they
might have caught the faint glint of steel as the stranger shifted his
weight, uttering only the word, "Perfect."  He had waited long for
this moment, his age-old nemesis flushed with victory.  That fool's
pathetic Legion would play right into his hands with an attack on the
fiendish Y-Plex.  Not that they knew it, of course.  How could they,
when not even his own pawns could possibly fathom their role in the
upcoming war??  The strange shadow flickered into nothingness, content
with the damage he had fostered upon his unsuspecting enemy.

A shimmer of light and there stood, out of sight of all, a shadowy
figure.  He surveyed the scene at the pizza parlour with glee. "All is
working!" he spoke in a low whisper.  Then, out of the corner of his
eye, he saw Sig.File Man creep up on Manga Man.  After not even a
moment's thought, however, he saw his chance.  The battle in front of
the pizza parlour was only a reflection on the front of the figure's
Ultra glasses as he took out his pencil and began to scribble out
lines, replacing them with completely different words...
	Hearing the warning alarm, Incredible Unsleeping Man, having not
	slept in 11 years and being real, real edgy, screams, "AAAHH,
	what the hell was that??!!, Oh, just that damn Net.Evil.Brotherhood 
	alarm going off.  WHAT!!  That can mean only one thing..." (Keep
	in mind that just because you cannot sleep, and you posses great
	powers of intellect and deduction, doesn't mean your always on the
	ball.) "...evil is about to strike!!"  **PAUSE**  Let's analyze 
	something for one moment, if evil is about to strike, how does
	an alarm know?? (Back to the story)  "Insomnia Boy, quit drooling,
	to the Bedmobile!!, we've got evil to foil!!, Or is that spoil?,
	or boil?, or maybe toil? (Again, keep in mind, that not having
	slept in 11 years tends to cause one's minds to wander).  **Back in 
	the Bedmobile**, "Insomnia Boy, call ahead to - PUT THAT SUB-ATOMIC
	NEUTRINO FUSER AWAY BEFORE YOU FRY YOUR SYNAP------- BZZAPPP ------
	SES!!!"

Back at the home of the Lee.........

"The Ring of Retconn? Oh! Of Course!!! The sacred Ring of RetConn!!
Do you know where it is?", asks The Time Crapper to the Lee.

"A long while ago, this device was used to change many different
aspects of our universe.  Many changes were made, and caused great
havoc.  There was one man, though, who went and stopped the evil duo
of The Falcon and the HarrisMan, to complete the revenge that he
sought on these two for forcing him to quit an earlier position he had
obtained. Now, he sits alone, in a large bubble on the far side of the
moon.  He may allow you to stop this Y-Plex."

"I see. Thank you. I truly appreciate the help you have just given to
me.  Now, I will take my leave", says the Time Crapper.

"Excelsior!!" shouts the Lee.

The Time Crapper now approaches the bubble of the Looker.  This large
dome is covered by characters which the Looker has used, when he used
to write.  On top of the Dome, a huge letter can be seen. The letter
"X".  The Time Crapper enters thru the X part of the dome.  He finds
himself in a vast building, with large statue figures in the hallways.
A voice can be heard down one of these hallways.  The Time Crapper
heads toward it.  Suddenly, a flash of light temporarily blinds the
Crapper, making him feel helpless against the source of the light.  A
few minutes later, he is able to see again, and in front of him, a
large being stands before him, wielding a large pencil.

"Who dares enter the home of the Looker without my permission?",
bellows the large figure.

"I have come here on a quest, in search of the Ring of Retconn, to
stop the plans of Y-Plex Burp, who wields the Cosmic Plot-Device."

"This Y-Plex Burp has found the Cosmic Plot-Device? He could unravel
everything that I have done, after I got rid of the riff-raff of The
Falcon and the Harrisman.  I personally cannot get involved with such
matters, but to let you hold the power of the Ring of Retconn, maybe
equally as dangerous.  I must think about this."

Sometime later, The Looker returns to the The Time Crapper.

"I have decided to allow you to use the Ring of Retconn to stop the
misuse of the Cosmic Plot-Device.  You must return both of these items
to me, or your soul will be torn apart by these items.  They hold
great power, and also are items of Checks And Balences."

"I do not understand.", says the Time Crapper.

"You do not have to. I will be all clear to you when you go up against
your foe. Be warned, I know of your plan to destroy the Legion of Net
Heroes.  If you use these items on them, great consequences will fall
onto you."

A ring falls from the Looker's right hand, and flies over to the Time
Crapper.  The Time Crapper places it onto one of his fingers, and
leaves the domain of the Looker.


*******************************************************************************
"You gotta take Life Cereal, baby." - Smoking Banana Peels - Dead MilkMen
*******************************************************************************
Jef Kolodziej                    Cliche Dude                    The KaTeFan(tm)
v129j6ed@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu           State University of New York at Buffalo
History Major                                                  611 LaSalle Ave.
(716) 834-2606                                                Buffalo, NY 14215