From: max@underg.UUCP (Max Cray)
Newsgroups: alt.prose,,alt.romance,,alt.sex.stories,,alt.drugs,,alt.postmodern
Subject: Crystallaine
Date: Sat, 05 Sep 92 03:37:32 EDT
Organization: Underground Computing Foundation


                             Crystallaine

                           by Chris Nystrom


    Crystallaine was a whore. On the outside a beautiful woman, but on
the inside she was filled with corruption. A popular drug since the late 
1990's, she was every man's dream. She was not expensive. She made a man feel
real good, better than he had a right to feel. She rose to popularity because
of the apparent lack of side effects. Of course it drove everyone around you
crazy, but that did not count. The only thing that counted was crystallaine,
the pain killer. Pain, yes that was it: Pain. That is why I turned to her
time and time again. To kill the pain. The pain that we all feel. The pain
that is in each and every one of us. The pain we feel from never actually
being able to touch those around us. From reaching out by never touching,
never really knowing anyone else except ourselves. And the only person I
know, myself, I don't really like, because I know that I in my heart am like
Crystallaine. I smile and try to put on a good act and look good on the
outside, but inside I am filled with corruption, and every hateful emotion, and
of course the pain. So I take Crystallaine to bed with me. I sell my soul with
the whore, for a little relief from my pain. Pain killer! Ha! That is a laugh.
She kills everything in my life except the pain. When I am in a narcotic 
slumber I am alone, on the other side of reality. I try to loose myself with
Crystallaine, but I find there only myself and  creature lurking in the
shadows. A dark creature. A black demon, and it's name is Pain.

    I awoke startled, alone, afraid. I don't know why. All I knew was that
I wanted to leave. I looked like hell, but I did not care. I had to get out of
this dingy cramped room. I put on some old jeans, a shirt, some old shoes, and
I left. I was not going anywhere. I was just leaving.
    I walked down the old stairs. The walls needed painting. I did not
care. It was what I could afford.
    I walked out into the biting cold air. It should have sobered me to
feel the cold wind of reality, but it did not. I went north. There were few
cars as it was Sunday. I headed to a park nearby that I knew about. There I 
could find solstice among the trees, and greener grass.

    Well I never did make it to the park, but I did find the streets, the
lonely streets where one can find life, and death, everything, and nothing,
and of course crystallaine. I was alone and I wanted her.

 
   I will call for you from the distant mountains.
   You will hear my voice and come to me.
   I will hold you in my arms, and we will dance from
      dusk to dawn.

   With the light of dawn I will see the beauty of your face
      and the sparkle of your eyes, the fullness of your lips,
   and I will kiss you deeply, and you will know of my desire.

   As we lie in the meadow, we say not a word, for we already
      know what the other thinks, feels, knows and loves.

   As the night again falls, you curl at my feet for warmth,
      and I lift you up, and take you into my heart,
          and love you eternally.

 
    She put me to sleep with a deadly kiss, a kiss full of unknown passion,
and then she stepped back.
   "Who are you?", I cried.
   "I believe you know me very well already, Max."
   "Crystallaine?"

   She was a tall flowing white woman, although in the darkness she looked
very gray. She was very beautiful, but try as I might, I could not make out
any specific details, or features. She, too, was remaining just out of my
reach. Was she hiding something from me?

    "What do you want with me? Why are you here?", I asked.
    "I only want what every lover wants, Max. I want your body, and soul.
I want you to lay everything at my feet, and worship me."
    "Shall I save nothing for myself?"
    "You shall save nothing for yourself. You will be mine, and I will
be yours."
    "What do I get, for giving everything to you?", I asked.
    "I will take away your pain and your loneliness. I will provide for all
your needs, wants, and desires."

    That is when I became aware of the fact that we were not alone. There
was someone else in the room with us. I could feel him, and then I could
see him, but just barely. He was in the corner, in the darkest shadow.
Sort of a roundish like creature, with dark grayish skin and very thin limbs.
Clear unblinking eyes. He made a soft hissing sound. I knew his every feature
because I knew him well. His name was Pain.

    While I stared at my old friend in the darkness, Crystallaine came up
behind me and wrapped her long arms around me.

    "So what will it be?", she asked, "Will you love me forever?"
    "Do I really have a choice?", I asked myself.
    "No, you do not.", she answered.

    I kissed her lips. They were cool, in a burning sort of way. I inhaled her,
all of her. Her smell was sort of sweet, but with a peculiar twist. It was not
some perfume. It was her natural smell.

   She was a pleasure to the senses, a pleasure to the eyes, the ears, the 
nose, but especially the eyes. As she roamed my body from head to toe with
her hands, more than anything I wanted to get inside her, to know her
completely, to leave no secret unkept. I wanted to own her, like I knew that
she owned me. It was the desire that drove me onward. The uncontrollable
desire. I wanted to taste her.

   I turned and looked into her eyes. She looked back at me with an evil grin,
and I touched my lips to hers. The intimacy was almost too much to bear. I had
known Crystallaine for a long time, but never in my fantasies had I imagined
myself this close to her. She was here for me. She wanted me.

   I ripped off her clothes, and admired my prize. This was the love that comes
from pure lust. Right now I felt alive, for the first time in a long time. I
felt the joy that comes from the release of passions long suppressed.

   When I was done she was gone, and I missed her. She took a little piece of
me with her, never to be returned. I knew that. I knew that soon there would
be nothing left of me. Everything has it's price, and Crystallaine was no
exception.

   When I tried to touch the feeling that I had for her, it was gone.

   He was still here. He was always here. He would not leave us alone. He
would not leave me alone. He stood and watched me, no life of his own. He was
my own parasite, and his name was Pain.

   The next day they found me.

                                          -= Max =-
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