From: v119qkv2@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (POE)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Help!  What should I do? (Very long)
Keywords: Please read
Date: 6 Oct 92 15:43:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


	I have a problem.  I really have nowhere else to turn, so I'm seeking 
the advice of total strangers here on the net.  Here's the situation...
	I'm interested in a girl.  She and I are good friends.  She has a boy-
friend.  He and I are friends.  Not "best" friends, but friends nonetheless.
He and She have been going out for over a year.  However, they have been having
relationship problems for quite some time.  It seems they have a little spat at
least once a week.  Both have threatened to "breakup" many, many times, but yet
they're still together.
	Everyone following this, :-)?  OK, so with all their hangups, their 
still together.  When out at a bar or party, She tends to spend more time with
me, and He tends to ignore Her most of the time.  Whenever She and I are to-
gether, we have a great time.  Whenever, She and He are together, there is 
always trouble.  One thing they are always fighting about is His drinking 
habits.  It seems that He cannot go out without getting drunk.  She is also
concerned about Him getting involved in drugs.  I know for a fact that He has
been "experimenting" for about a month now.  She does not know this, and if
She did, She would not be happy (to say the least).
	Also, all the "romance" seems to have drifted from their relationship.
They seem to be just going through the motions.  She has mentioned to me that
She really does not want to breakup with Him, no matter the reason, just 
because they have been going out for so long.  He seems to take her for granted.
They rarely go out alone together (one of the reasons I have been spending so
much time with her).  No flowers, no candy, no romantic walks, etc..  Many
nights I have taken Her home, while He stays out and parties with the boys.
	Still following, :-)?  OK, now Her relationship with me.  Over the
past few months, we have gotten really close.  Whether or not this is a direct
result of their problems, I do not know.  The time we spend together is mostly
done at bars and parties, but when at a bar/party, we usually spend the entire
evening together.  We go out or talk on the phone together at least twice a 
week.  These conversations usually center around Her problems with Him.  Also,
She has stated (perhaps in anger or jest, but nonetheless) that She hates all
men with the exception of me.
	There is also the matter of the other people involved in this mess.  He
is well-liked by Her family.  She is well-liked by His family.  I'm well-liked
by Her family.  The three of us, for the most part, have the same friends.
So, if I were to "make a play", things could get really messy.
	Damn, this is getting long.  Anyway, to give you some more to think
about (that is if you are still reading this), to compare His and my "looks",
I'd have to say that he is better lookin on the simple principle that She is
with Him and not me.  I'm not even going to try to figure out what a woman
finds attractive in a guy.  However, for the record, I'm not some freak-of-
nature.  I guess you could say I'm an ordinary average guy.  She, on the other
hand, is drop-dead beautiful.  This is not just my opinion.  My friends and
total strangers have all confirmed this to be fact.  Also, She's 18.  I'm 21.
He's 19.  The age difference may be a hangup for Her.  
	Now this is where you come in.  What do I do?  Should I forget about 
Her and go on with my life?  Should I just convince Her to call it off, and
then wait and see if something develops between us?  Should I let nature take
it's course, and see if they break up on their own?  Should I throw all my 
cards out on table, tell Her how I feel about Her and tell Her she would be
better off with me than Him?  Any other suggestions?  Are you now as confused
as I am?  Please give me some feedback on this either on the board or via email.
Thank you for your time.

					Totally confused,
						Mike Poe
Newsgroups: alt.romance