HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rhatch@ringer.cs.utsa.edu (Richard Hatch)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: A found riddle!
Date: 8 Apr 92 14:57:29 GMT
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio

In article <1992Apr6.112228.20694@cns.umist.ac.uk> jw@cns.umist.ac.uk (Jon Wells) writes:
>rdc8@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Robert D Castro) writes:
>
>>"A" hundred is incorrect since the number part does not contain the
>>letter "a".
>
>>One hundred and one is incorrect since the correct spelling of 101 is
>>one hundred one thus no letter "a" used.
>
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>Correct me if I'm wrong (and I don't think I am...), but this would VERY
>rarely be used in British English.... We always add 'and'.... As far as I am 
>aware, only American English has 'One Hundred One' as the 'correct'(??!)
>pronunciation of this.....
>

So when you write a check, in the part where you write the amount on the blank,
y'all Brits write: "One hundred and one and 00/100-------------"???

Dollars is written on the checks here in America, I guess it you be Pounds in
your case?

-- 
| Mail me here: Richard Hatch  | "Tact is the art of convincing people that  |
|  CS332101017@utsa86.utsa.edu |  they know more than they do.               |
|  rhatch@lonestar.utsa.edu    |                                             |
|  rhatch@ringer.cs.utsa.edu   |                  -Raymond Mortimer          |
From: widyono@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Dan Widyono)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: hmmm
Date: 7 Apr 92 15:00:07 GMT
Reply-To: widyono@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Dan Widyono)
Organization: UPenn of Phila, PA: BioEngineering Dept.

[Another line bites the dust, WOOF!]

Previously, amcandel@eos.ncsu.edu (Alex Candelaria) wrote:
>In article <1992Apr2.204608.1550@merrimack.edu> pa_andy@merrimack.edu (The  
>Wolf) writes:
>>In article <1992Mar31.174433.468@ualr.edu>, choate@acs.harding.edu (Brad S.  
>Choate) writes:

[we've seen them enough times to memorize them - WHAT! you memorized them!?]

>>>>uranostaphyloplasties
>>>ventriculosubarachnoid
>>whosefuckingideawasthis 
>>xradiationhasthisidefect
>I'vefallenandIcan'tgetup!!!! 
antidisestablishmentarianism.  <--- note the period.  essential.
----   ---------    -----
    +++         ++++     ++++

Think about it.
--
Daniel Widyono					BE PreMed UPenn, Philly, PA
Chord On Blues, Penn Band (Cornet 2)		widyono@eniac.seas.upenn.edu
Would you call my name, if I saw you in heaven?  I must be strong and carry on,
for I know I don't belong... here in heaven.		-Eric Clapton
From: stafford@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Running Man)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Could someone send me the Deep Thoughts?
Date: 10 Apr 92 19:40:46 GMT
Article-I.D.: ux1.1992Apr10.194046.21820
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

I received one  of the Deep Thoughts postings.  (It was the one with soldering
iron of justice and disneyland.)  Could someone send me the other one that
I heard was posted?  Thanks,

Gale
stafford@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.urban
From: rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold)
Subject: Re: Sam Kinison's last words
Organization: Qualcomm, Inc., San Diego, CA
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 23:31:15 GMT

edwardy@uhunix.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu (Edward Yagi) writes:

>along this AHHHH AHHHHH! AHHHHH! thread..
> dont know if this is true or not, but I heard his real last words/actions
>were: he was first pleading to somebody (doctor?) that he didnt want to die..
>'please dont let me die..' but then, he became quiet and made like he was
>listening to somebody and then said 'why?' anther pause then finally 'ok'
>then died..

Another urban legend in the making!  Both accounts I saw in the papers
said his neck was broken and he died almost immediately.
-- 
Life is a cabaret - dark, crowded, and full of Nazis
From: fulton@copper.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: April fool's day jokes?
Date: 7 Apr 92 15:19:27 GMT
Article-I.D.: bronze.1992Apr7.102021.25478
Organization: Indiana University

In <1992Apr7.134620.17684@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> mtf39190@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael T Freeman) writes:

[a per-pound tax on pets]
>	I also heard that the humane shelter got close to 100 calls from people
>complaining.  Some even said that they would have to get their pets put to    
>sleep because they couldn't afford the tax!
>	Does the word "gullible" seem appropriate. . .? 

A local DJ got in big trouble for reporting that a powerline had gone down
and the city would be without power from 10 AM to 3 PM - peak time,
obviously.  The radio station got thousands of calls.  Gullible?  My
opinion is, people are unbelievably stupid :-)

ben
fulton@copper.ucs.indiana.edu
right here, right now
there is no other place I'd rather be!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Eric Huppertz)
Subject: Re: Foghorn Leghorn quotes
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 01:12:02 GMT
Organization: Illinois State University

That dog's strictly G.I.--Gibberin' Idiot, that is. 
Nice boy, but he's got more nerve than a bum tooth.
That boy's got a mouth like a cannon--always shootin it off.
If that cat don't stop talkin so much, he'll get his tongue sunburned.

-E.

-- 
Eric J. Huppertz, Systems Manager | "I turned my air conditioner around and it
Daily Vidette, Illinois State U.  |  got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't 
ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu     |  understand, it was supposed to be 80  
(309) 438-8565                    |  today,' and I said 'Oops.'"  -S. Wright 
Xref: sparky rec.humor:15855 alt.fan.monty-python:2555
From: morjens@vipunen.hut.fi (Jens B von Weissenberg)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Date: 7 Apr 92 06:17:51 GMT
Organization: Helsinki University of Technology, Finland

In article <06Apr92034950@miracle.UUCP> phil%miracle@merk.com (Phil Hill) writes:

   Xref: nntp.hut.fi rec.humor:44132 alt.fan.monty-python:9036
Path: nntp.hut.fi!fuug!mcsun!uunet!think.com!spdcc!merk!miracle!phil
   From: phil%miracle@merk.com (Phil Hill)
   Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
   Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
   Message-ID: <06Apr92034950@miracle.UUCP>
   Date: 6 Apr 92 08:49:50 GMT
   Organization: Miracle Computer Consultants
   Lines: 18


   >>> >I've told you once...
   >>> 
   >>> No, you haven't.
   >>Yes I have.
   >No, you haven't.
   I'm sorry but your time is up, That will be $5.
  That was *never* five minutes!
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
From: dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Korth)
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Organization: Bradley University
Date:  9 Apr 92 17:53:32 GMT

In <8a2XiB1w164w@bluemoon.rn.com> dougger@bluemoon.rn.com (Doug Stevenson) writes:

>dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Korth) writes:

>> In <1992Apr08.060333.45618@yuma.acns.colostate.edu> maxwell@lamar.ColoState.E
>> 
>> >In article <dragon.702618622@camelot> dragon@camelot.bradley.edu (Matthew Ko
>> >>In <1992Apr06.051634.41805@yuma.acns.colostate.edu> maxwell@lamar.ColoState
>> >>
>> >>>In article <1992Apr6.010309.10819@nic.unh.edu> ss1@kepler.unh.edu (The Rin
>> >>>>>>>I've told you once...
>> >>>>>> No, you haven't.
>> >>>>>Yes I have.
>> >>>>No, I haven't.
>> >>>This isn't an argument, it's just contradiction!
>> >>No it isn't.
>> >You just contradicted me!
>> No I didn't!
>This is futile!
<pause>
No it isn't.
--
*** Matt Korth *** dragon@camelot.bradley.edu *** dragon@buhub.bradley.edu ***

Municipal Sewer Department, we've had enough shit out of you...
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Wednesday, 15 Apr 1992 23:24:06 EDT
From: Joe Carlson <JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: A found riddle!
 <1992Apr13.125052.3154@ge-dab.GE.COM>
 <1992Apr14.141919.24504@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>
 <1992Apr15.230152.10971@muddcs.claremont.edu>

Take this to Rec.Puzzles.shit or something....it ain't humorous at all!
From: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu (lawrence finkel cis stnt)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: A Practical Joke
Date: 10 Apr 92 12:31:24 GMT
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.

>>> A few weeks ago, there was a request for practical jokes.  Some friends and I
>
>I was the victim of this one - while my wife and I were on our honeymoon, my
>mother-in-law and my wife's boss filled our bedroom with crumpled balls of
>newspaper. Imagine our surpise when we couldn't open our bedroom door. I ended
>   *                           Walter R. Trachim                            *   

Nice mother-in-law.
Just the kind of person you want to use in recreating Gallilaeo's (sp??) 
famous gravity demonstration.
You could get back at her by paying a local answering service to give
her a wake-up call at 3:00am everyday for a month. Should'nt cost
much but it would be fun.

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
#                     Lawrence Finkel: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu                 #
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
#   "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."   #
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
From: axd7104@acfcluster.nyu.edu (Aaron Dickey)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Sam Kinison's last words
Date: 11 Apr 92 17:32:16 GMT
Organization: New York University

In article <1992Apr11.160531.25908@fcom.cc.utah.edu>, knechod@stacc.med.utah.edu (Kevin Nechodom) writes:
> My apologations to anyone offended by my lack of sensitivity.  I
> really got a kick out of the guy.
> 
> What were Sam Kinison's last words, right before his fatal car crash?
> 
> "AAHH!!  AAHH!  AAAAHHHH-H-H-H-H!!!!"
> 
> [Kevin, you're sick!]

Yes, Kevin, you ARE sick, but I'm sure that wherever Sam is now, he's
probably making the same joke. :)  And I hope he made it upstairs.  God
owes him SOMETHING for all those years of Bible-thumping tent revivals
Sam did.

And, of course, your joke reminds me of one of Sam's:

What were the REAL last words of Jesus on the Cross?

[thump thump thump of the nails going in]

AAAH!  AAHH! AHHHHHH!

And his one joke about the Ethiopians ("Why don't you go where the FOOD
IS! AUUUUGH!") is still a better piece of social commentary than anything
I've ever seen an any newspaper editorial page.

He'll definitely be missed.
-- 
Aaron Dickey                      Bitnet: axd7104@nyuacf
New York University             Internet: axd7104@ACFcluster.nyu.edu

Al Roker Is God.
From: roygri@ifi.uio.no (Roy Steven Grini)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Break up line.
Date: 7 Apr 92 11:43:44 GMT
Organization: Dept. of Informatics, University of Oslo, Norway
Originator: roygri@skautflya.ifi.uio.no


 To be so fat you really don't swet much while dancing.

_ROY
^^^^^
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: me@dispates.u.washington.edu (My Account)
Subject: Re: 1-800 Number in USA for Polish Jokes
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 13:06:51 GMT

In article <44733@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> griz@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Dormouse)  
writes:
> No, the number for polish jokes is...
> 
> 
> 
> 1-800-634-POLZ
> 
> Try it, there is even some original ones.
> 
> -dormouse
[.sig deleted]
Interesting, because there isn't a 'z' on any US phones

-cohort
Xref: sparky rec.humor:16531 rec.music.cd:4044 rec.music.misc:14409
From: johnson@spectra.com (boyd johnson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.music.cd,rec.music.misc
Subject: Re: POLL
Date: 16 Apr 92 01:50:52 GMT
Organization: Spectragraphics Corporation

In article <1992Apr14.224332.12176@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> eje47614@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Sir Tanon Drister) writes:
>lunind@jec325.its.rpi.edu (Daniel B. Luning) writes:
>
>
>>Hello, since Weird Al just released a new album, I would 
>>like to do a Weird Al poll.
>
>I have only one question:  What the hell is this doing in alt.rock-n-roll.metal

and alt.music.enya and aus.music and ba.music and ...
(I removed most of the groups from the header)

-- 
======== Boyd Johnson    nosc!spectra.com!johnson  San Diego, Ca. ========
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Good comercial!
From: rivero@mdcbbs.com
Date: 13 Apr 92 14:42:36 GMT
Organization: M&E (Division of EDS), Cypress CA
Nntp-Posting-User: rivero

In article <44731@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, saavik@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Marla Belzowski (K-9's)) writes:
> 
> 
> 
> Well, the Germany traded us, Americans, this....(picture of a
> tall, cool, cold, mug of dark, rich German Beck's beer) 
> 
> and we traded them this........(a small clip from ...CLAP ON,
> CLAP OFF, THE CLAPPER!!!)
> 
> Now who do you you think got the better end of this business trade?
> 

  Prior to the ability to exchange currency with the Soviet Union, Coke and
Pepsi were exported to the U.S.S.R. in exchange for bottles of Stoli Vodka!


 Now who do you you think got the better end of this business trade? :)



<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
|  Michael Rivero rivero@mdcbbs.com Homo Cyberneticus-Computational Man  |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|    Anyone who manages to get from birth to death without getting at    |
|   least one ugly scar just wasn't DOING anything!                      |
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.wizards,rec.humor
From: srl@phyast.nhn.uoknor.edu (Steve Levengood)
Subject: Re: Naughty Disney Jokes
Organization: Engineering Computer Network, University of Oklahoma, Norman, OK, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 19:49:28 GMT

jayu@screech.owlnet.rice.edu (Jaydip Tilak Vashi) writes:

>In article <1992Apr7.030045.27438@usenet.ins.cwru.edu>, roll@skybridge.SCL.CWRU.Edu (Kevin 'Rat' Roll) writes:
>> In article <lcnj7cp@lynx.unm.edu> evilted@vesta.unm.edu (The Semi-Christ) writes:
>> 
>> >Ok, Mickey Mouse goes to his lawyer and tells him he wants to divorce
>> >......
>> 
>> Of course you've heard that Snow White was fired from Disneyland. She
>> threw Pinocchio on the ground, sat on his face, and screamed "Lie to me!
>> Lie to me!"


>Q: What is red and has seven little dents?
>A: Snow White's cherry.


>Jay Vashi

	Mickey was getting a divorce from minnie, and had paid a private
investigator to follow her around.  The PI, after a week of tailing Minnie,
met Mickey at his office to tell him the bad news.
	"I'm sorry," said the PI, "but I've followed Minnie everwhere, and
I've seen nothing to prove that Minnie is crazy."
	"I didn't say she was crazy!" exclaimed Mickey, "I said that she
was fucking Goofy!"

Steve

>WE ARE RU?
Xref: sparky rec.humor:15863 alt.fan.monty-python:2558
From: jprlarib@cs.ruu.nl (Jan Peter Laribij)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
Date: 7 Apr 92 10:04:49 GMT
Organization: Utrecht University, Dept. of Computer Science

In <MORJENS.92Apr7081751@vipunen.hut.fi> morjens@vipunen.hut.fi (Jens B von Weissenberg) writes:

>In article <06Apr92034950@miracle.UUCP> phil%miracle@merk.com (Phil Hill) writes:
>
>   Xref: nntp.hut.fi rec.humor:44132 alt.fan.monty-python:9036
>   Path: nntp.hut.fi!fuug!mcsun!uunet!think.com!spdcc!merk!miracle!phil
>   From: phil%miracle@merk.com (Phil Hill)
>   Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
>   Subject: Re: Does anybody have the script to "The Argument Clinic" ?
>   Message-ID: <06Apr92034950@miracle.UUCP>
>   Date: 6 Apr 92 08:49:50 GMT
>   Organization: Miracle Computer Consultants
>   Lines: 18
>
>
>   >>> >I've told you once...
>   >>> 
>   >>> No, you haven't.
>   >>Yes I have.
>   >No, you haven't.
>   I'm sorry but your time is up, That will be $5.
>  That was *never* five minutes!
I'm afraid it was.


--
Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass. A good bookshop is just a
genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. - Terry Pratchett
   "Help, I'm having space-time distortions in my room!"

Be Aware Of Rocket Blast - The Vanishing Point - Slammin' Sammy Miller

Now, anyone else feel like a little giggle when I mention my fwiend
Biggus Dickus? - Monty Python

Look very carefully, I will show this only once! - 'Allo 'Allo
-- 
Jan Peter Laribij, Student Computer Science. E-mail : jprlarib@praxis.cs.ruu.nl
Organization: Freshman, Math/Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 21:40:19 -0400 
From: Rahul Verma <rv0s+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: CMU Rhapsody

Sing to the tune of, well you know, Bohemian Rhapsody...

Will I ever graduate,
or is this just fantasy,
Caught in a cluster,
No escape from Andrew-ality,
Open your file,
Look up to the screen and see,
I'm just a poor student,
I need lots of money,
Because I'm always drunk, very broke,
I am high, my bank balance is low,
Anyway the grades go, I just hope that there will be Bs for me,
 
Mama, I've killed myself,
Tried to over fill my head,
Didn't learn it, now I'm dead,
Mama, the year has just begun,
But I've already fallen far away,
Mama, Boo Hoo Hoo,
The profs have made me cry,
If I miss my class again,
It's time to Add/Drop,
Study On, Study On,
As if nothing else matters,
 
Too late, my deadline's up,
I was way too far behind,
and now I'm all out of time,
Goodbye everybody, I'm dropping out,
Gotta leave you all behind to face Andrew,
Mama, Boo Hoo Hoo,
I hope the network's fried,
Some times I wish I'd never enrolled at all,
 
I see a little silhouetto of a girl,
No more sheep, no more sheep, I can eat a raw mango,
Doing girls excites me, Andrew was frightening me,
Eating Jello, feeling mellow,
Eating Jello, feeling mellow,
Eating Jello, with my toe, Magnifico
I'm just a drop out, no boss wants me,
He's just a dumb kid, with no future to see,
should've spent childhood in a university,
Jobs will come, jobs will go, will you let me sweep your floor,
A drop out no! You cannot sweep my floor, But I'm broke,
A drop out no! Do not sweep my floor, but I'm broke.
A drop out no! Do not sweep my floor, but I'm broke.
               Do not sweep my floor, but I'm broke.
               Do not sweep my floor, but I'm broke.
Grow no so go low joe crow
Now I'm freer, now I'm freer, now I'm free to sweep your floor,
The employer has a man looking out for me, for me, for me,
 
So you think you should fire me just because I don't try,
So you think you should go out and get a new guy,
Oh Union, they can't do this to me union,
Just won't get out, you guys have to keep me in here,
 
This job is all that matters,
Everybody, please,
This job is all that matters, all that really matters, don't fire me,
 
And then the paycheck grows...

---------

I hope everyone simply loved that. 

Jason Bertschi and Rahul Verma.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember that anywhere you go, well, there you are!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Xref: sparky rec.humor:16502 rec.humor.d:1474
From: njm@vax1.mankato.msus.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: (Don't) Re: KILL the CASCADE from HELL
Date: 15 Apr 92 17:37:28 GMT
Article-I.D.: vax1.1992Apr15.113728.1729
Organization: Mankato State University

In article <1992Apr15.151725.15933@casbah.acns.nwu.edu>, jnewton@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Justin Newton) writes:
> In article <1992Apr15.104151.20449@uwm.edu> roscoe@csd4.csd.uwm.edu writes:
>>From article <1992Apr15.085404.17337@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU>, by c60a-dy@amazon.Berkeley.EDU (Mikey likes it):
>>> In article <1992Apr15.063952.4174@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> mcdougal@lonestar.utsa.edu (Jon . McDougal) writes:
>>>>In article <1992Apr15.041356.2410@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> c60a-dy@amazon.Berkeley.EDU (Mikey likes it) writes:
>>>>>In article <1992Apr14.234356.16337@uwm.edu> alanchem@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Alan Scott Olson) writes:
>>>>>>In article <1992Apr14.225911.6014@gn.ecn.purdue.edu> constant@gn.ecn.purdue.edu (Tino) writes:
>>>>>>>In article <1992Apr14.205827.15626@colorado.edu> burtonr@qso.Colorado.EDU (Richard Burton) writes:
>>>>>>>>gdkg1346@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Gautham D. Kamath) writes:
>>>>>>>>>randy@rss.dl.nec.com (Randy Bullard) writes:
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>wooledge@ces.cwru.edu (Gregory Wooledge) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Any takers?
>>>>>>>>>>>>Many Lakers.
>>>>>>>>>>>Danny is a faker.
>>>>>>>>>>Fuck Tammy Fay Baker.
>>>>>>>>>Yuck, may God take her.
>>>>>>>>Suck the blonde cake hair.
>>>>>>>Duck! a load of dripping Nair.
>>>>>>You assholes are not playing fair!
>>>>>Jim's asshole is getting excessive wear.
>>>>I'll cascade as much as a bloody well dare!
>>>Why are the lines getting closer to there? ----->
>>One of the topics is men with no hair.
>They should get it from where they have some to spare.
Go ahead if you want to but I really don't dare, tis crabs in there.

>>-- 
>>Email roscoe@csd4.csd.uwm.edu 
>>
>>"I really enjoy the TUMMYSIZER(tm)...its the way I like to work out."
>>	-Quote from some dumb girl I saw on television	
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jeffj@ultra.com (Jeff Johnson)
Subject: Re: Things that make you go hmmm
Reply-To: jeffj@ultra.com (Jeff Johnson)
Organization: Ultra Network Technologies
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 92 00:29:12 GMT

In article <32349.10392923@crfm.gen.nz> clark@crfm.gen.nz (Clark Mills) writes:
=>ss1@bofur.unh.edu (The Rink) writes:
=>: >Why do the needles used in lethal injections have to be sterile?
=>: >
=>: >Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
=>: 
=>: Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
=>: 
=>: Why do noses run and feet smell?
=>
=>Why do we sit down then sit up?
=>

Why do parents spend the first year of a child's life teaching them to
walk and talk, and then spend the rest of their lives telling them to
sit down and shut up?

-- 
    Jeff Johnson    | Ultra Network Technologies | voice: (408) 922-0100 x284
  jeffj@ultra.com   |     101 Daggett Drive      |   fax: (408) 433-9287
...ames!ultra!jeffj |    San Jose, CA  95134     |   sex: (900) 976-4825
 The difference between ignorance and apathy?  I don't know and I don't care
From: rmenon@sybil.cs.Buffalo.EDU (Raju Menon)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Ant/Elephant/Cat/etc/etc.... jokes request.
Date: 9 Apr 92 14:43:57 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: State University of New York at Buffalo/Comp Sci
Originator: rmenon@sybil.cs.Buffalo.EDU


Hi,

If anyone has a compiled version of the Ant/Elephant/Cat/etc.. one liner
jokes, could you please mail them to me......



Thanks
Raju
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: SEXIST BUMPER STICKER...
From: robert@otago.ac.nz
Date: 13 Apr 92 20:41:17 +1300
Organization: University of Otago, Dunedin, New Zealand


One of the best bumper stickers I ever saw was....

	SAVE THE WALES	...	HARPOON A FAT CHICK !!

I know it may be seen by some people as sexist, but I think it is funny...