From: mrynders@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Maurice Rynders)
Subject: Re: Why American Men like Thai Women
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 01:57:51 GMT

My name is Maurice. I'm a "white" man, having grown up in western
society, and am married to an Asian woman. This article as a result
of course raised my interest to such an extend that I feel like
answering. Although one may not agree with me, I think that certain
comments certainly need to be made in response to Tim's article.

In article <15956@auspex-gw.auspex.com> tstil@Auspex.COM (Tim Stilwell) writes:
>
>	WHY DO AMERICAN MEN LIKE THAI (or other Asian) WOMEN?
>
> American men view women as trophies to be shown off to other men.
> ie. "See this very pretty woman?  She is with me, not you!  Do
>      you wish she was with you?  Are you envious?"
> Because of this, American men want their women to look beautiful
> all the time.  This is why American women will wear clothes that
> show revealing parts of their bodies.  It also explains why 
> American women wear so much make-up.  This is also why American
> women are always dieting.  
>
> Only a small minority of American men like Thai (or other Asian) 
> women.  Most men do not like the 2-dimensional faces.  That reminds
> me, a Taiwanese girl onced asked me why I like Asian girls?  I asked
>
> Anyway, if an American man meets a Thai girl, he will like her
> for these reasons.
>
> 1. Asian women look prettier longer than American women.
>    Their faces do not wrinkle as quickly.  This is why the average
>    American (man or woman) cannot tell how old an Asian girl really
>    is.  They usually guess too low.  It is also why the average Thai 
>    cannot tell how old an American man or woman really is.  They
>    usually guess too high!   :-)
>    American men expect the face of the girl they marry to be pretty.
>    ie. "I have to wake up and look at that face for the rest of
>         my life and say I love you!  Her face must be pretty."

First comment: you are of course speaking for yourself. Second: let's
make sure that, of course, there are plenty of other reasons as well.
>
> 2. Asian women stay skinny longer than American women.
>    They do not gain weight as quickly.  Since the average Thai girl
>    is much less interested in sports or exercize than the average
>    American girl, this is probably due to diet. 
>    American men expect their women to stay skinny like the girls
                                        ^^^^
Ha, you hit a good point! The degree of uncontrolled indulgence can
sometimes be staggering in this country. (Why otherwise, would we need
such words as "obese", a word that many other languages don't even have
an equivalent for.)  However the main point here is self-discipline.
This is a virtue which is not nearly as common here as it is in the Far
East. 
>    that model clothes.
>    ie. "Honey!  If you *don't* want me to look at that girl,
>         then lose some more weight so that YOU look like HER!"
Again: these are your words. Many men may not put it so bluntly. I
personally don't think that just a wife with a slender figure will 
cause men to refrain from looking at other women.

> 3. Asian women can wear high-fashion clothes.
>    American women cannot wear the clothes designed to emphasize
>    a slender body.  At best, they look like a marshmallow squeezed
>    between two Ritz crackers!  :-)  High-fashion clothes are real
>    attention getters because they emphasize small and hint about
>    what the body really looks like by fitting loosely or showing
>    a small amount of skin in unexpected places.  American men like
>    this look because it makes the woman look helpless and in need
>    of protection.  :-)  
Your smiley is uncalled for! You really hit the bulls-eye with this last
statement. In the western world, many men are fed up with the extremist
feminist viewpoints of many women. Their eternal drive to "get that
career, make it to the top, be independent", the
"I-don't-need-a-husband, I-can-do-it-myself,
All-men-are-jerks"-attitudes really turn off many, many men. OF COURSE!
What do you want!? Like it was so appropriately stated above: 
there is nothing left for the
men to take care of anymore! Western women don't want to recognize that
what many men look for is a secure, stable family situation, where they
can be the provider, the bread-winner, the  helper and guide. And don't
get me wrong, this is most often NOT out of egocentric convictions, but
out of an true and honest wish to give and provide "to the max" of their
abilities, so that they in return may (and probably will) receive that
love and respect from wife and family, that almost all men so much yearn
for (and I'm pretty sure of that).
Instead, so many wester women MUST have their own career, their own 
reputation, the highest degree possible (although I'm not saying that women
shouldn't have education). The stereotype feminist sees the housewife as
an image from hell. That's what is plagueing this country. In no other
country is there so much pressure for women to
if-even-slightly-possible-not-become-a-"slavelike"-housewife. No, they
all MUST have a career. (No wonder the unemployment rate is so high. A
normal economy cannot supply the jobs for a labor force which is nearly
twice as large as it is in most other countries.) There is hardly
anything left for the man to return home to, after a day's worth of hard
work. The "wife" is usually gone, the kids dumped at some day-care
center, etc.
THIS NOW, I think, is one of the true reasons for why western men prefer
East-Asian women, be they Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, or of other origin.
 
>    It also stimulates thoughts that the woman
>    will be very good in bed.  While there isn't any scientific
>    evidence available to prove this theory, it is a common belief. 
Well, again: this may be what some men think, but it should not be seen
as true for every men. It is true, of course, that every men will have his
fantasies, but do they allways have to be initiated by the kind of
clothes a woman wears?

>    American men expect their women to look desireable to all men
                  ^^^^^^
maybe "hope" would be a better choice of words. It also would be more
ageeable for most mnen, I guess.

>    at all times.  Any group of American men will look only at the
>    one pretty woman in a group of women.  All other women will be
>    ignored.
>
>    
> CULTURAL
> --------
>
> Any American man who has visited any Asian country immediately
> notices the different views regarding guests and family.  In
> general, they like what they see and in true American style,
> they adopt these new views.  If an American man visits the home
> of a Thai girl, he will like her for these reasons.
>
> 1. Thai women are very very courteous to guests.
>    American women cannot compete in this area.  They are not
>    trained to think this way.  At best, they will offer the
     ^^^^^^^
Alas, agian a better choice of words might have been more correct. How
about: "They are not raised with these values."? I think that the
Asian woman is not "trained", like you train a dog, but rather has
been brought up in a certain society, where the cultural values stress
politeness and greater hospitality towards strangers. (Note: I'm NOT
saying that American hospitality sucks, or so. I'm merely saying that
oriental cultures stress such values more.)

>    guest a seat on the couch and show him/her the TV guide.
>    They will *not* offer food or sit nearby and talk.  Probably
>    they will not even offer a drink!  In some places, if the
>    guest drops in near mealtime, he/she will be asked to return
>    later.  No free invitation to dinner, especially if the 
>    family is going to a restaurant.
>    Most American men that like Thai girls dream about a girl 
>    serving snacks and beer to him and his friends during a
>    Sunday morning football game!
>    ie. "She's very beautiful AND she takes care of me!
>         Do you wish that you were me?  Are you envious?"
Again, I disagree with you. Although there may be men that think so, I'm
convinced that the large majority of the men that I know, who are
married to an Asian woman (including myself) didn't marry their wifes
to have a convenient slave around the house. You are giving men too
little credit. Most men who prefer Asian women have honest and true
feelings towards their worthy spouses!

>
> 2. Thai women value the family more than the individual.
>    American women are trained to think opposite.  
Ah, here you again show insight to the extend that I must admit that I
think that you do know what you are talking about.

>    Thai women
>    are more likely to view staying home to care for the children
>    as a sensible responsibility rather than as a sacrifice of 
>    of a career.  Thai women are also less likely to divorce
>    over a minor issue such as temporary loss of job or loss
>    of self-respect.  They have more patience. 

				YES!

>    American men
>    also believe that Thai women are more likely to help out 
>    their family members, especially their parents, when they 
>    are in trouble even if it means inviting them to live
>    together.  This creates an assurance that she will take
>    care of him when he is old.
Right again. What would be wrong of seeking such security? After all
EVERYONE would like this kind of peace-of-mind. It thus turns out that
men do have some vulnarability after all. And what's wrong with that?
So, away with those excessively expensive life-insurances, pension-funds
and other inventions, imposed on us by the western commercially oriented 
lifestile. I'm convinced that a good, strong family will take care of
its own. Be they old or young. What oriental culture dumps its
grandparents in nursing homes, its children in daycare centers? No
wonder western kids rebel against their parents by the time they are
teens: they were for a large part raised by strangers, who happened to
run a day care center, were teachers, dealing with 20-30 kids at a time,
etc. You can't blame the kid for not having the same values as the
parents. They never had the chance to find out about them! 
>
> 3. Thai women respect age and knowledge.
>    American women are not taught to appreciate these values.
>    American women also prefer the man to be older than the
>    woman, but it is the Thai girl who will respect her husband
>    because of his age and education.  This results in fewer 
>    arguments over minor issues.  It also allows an American 
>    man to marry a Thai girl several years younger than himself.  
>    Many American men, particularly business executives, want 
>    a young wife (about 23 years) when they are 50+ years old.
>    Some men even divorce their wives and marry a new young
>    wife!
Unfortunately this true. It is fuel on the fire that keeps the feminists
going. But as always, there are exceptions which may it difficult to
defend a point of view.
 
Eagerly awaiting comments, be they + or -.

Maurice.
Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai