HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: eset08@castle.ed.ac.uk (J Strobridge)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Things that go *** in the night
Date: 30 Jul 92 19:04:03 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Edinburgh University

Ok - you've got a cold, your head is trying to take off for Mars or
someplace, you feel awful - in fact worse, you feel like dying - or
worse - somehow the thought of death is almost pleasant....

So, you decide that chatting in pubs til after midnight or reading
endless pages of alt.peeves is not going to help the situation this time
and that maybe an early night is called for - say roundabout 9.30 pm...
But the neighbour's kid is outside in the back alley hitting a tennis
ball against the garage doors - kerthud, kerthud!   

So, a while or so later - peace?   No chance.   The next door burglar
alarm has been set off by some incompetent so-and-so probably closing
the door too hard or maybe it's the neighbour's car alarm - same
difference.    An hour or so to wait until someone turns it off.  Now
some peace?   

Forget it - it's the drunken warbler time! - the hour when men have this
sudden desire to imitate Caruso/Placido Domingo/Glen Campbell (amend as
appropriate) in the Albert Hall having just been thrown out of the pub
and found this nice empty echoing street that sounds just like their
bathroom at home.....

Peace after that?   No way - they set all the local dogs barking - mangy
creatures - their owners probably leave them in empty houses
deliberatly to keep the entire neighbourhood awake - but you've had this
conversation before.   Then the neighbours get in late, slamming every
door in the house and after them come the mail planes doing low moaning
swoops over the city.   And they are followed by the street cleaners -
sloop, roar, trundle - down one side, up the other.

And then come the car crazies.  80mph down the road - brake hard, slew a
turn, race up the road again.  Sheest.   OK - it's fun guys - go and do
it somewhere else please, like a gravel pit?

Then some peace?   Not a hope.   The humans have gone so now the rest of
the animal world can start.  Seagulls - a total misnomer.  Do these
birds spend any time at all at sea?   Certainly not outside my place! 
And after them the pigeons start.   It is a conspiracy!

And after that the early morning worker comes out.   Up with the carport
door.  Make sure everybody hears.   Radio on loud.   Rev the car, keep
the engine running - just to make it obvious that he's up and everyone
should be as well!   And then, suddenly - all is quiet.   There is
peace, stillness, silence, until-----  RING!!!

The postman has a Recorded Delivery item that needs a signature....

So over a cup of tea you decide to take the day off work and sleep then
instead but just at that point the workmen next door start drilling
holes in the floor, the ceiling, every wall, the roof and the basement.

You give up.   Alaska, you think might be a nice place to live....

jill
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin@highlite.uucp (Curtis Yarvin)
Subject: Re: Drug testing and welfare
Organization: Gotham Communications Research
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 18:42:16 GMT

In article <5wPkoB14w165w@mantis.co.uk> mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk> writes:
>
>If a welfare claimant who receives a few tens of dollars a week has to have a
>blood test to prove he's spending the money wisely, what should George Bush
>submit to to prove he's spending his tens of thousands of dollars of public
>funds (i.e. his salary) wisely?

"Tens of thousands?"  Look, bub, let's get this straight.  We're not talking
about some jungle republic, that pays President Sgt. Jambezi ten nkwalas a
year and expects him to supplement his income from "unofficial sources."
We're talking the UNITED STATES of FUCKING AMERICA, the country that
_invented_ the dollar, the country whose currency is only three letters from
proclaiming "In Greed We Trust" on front and back, and as you should have
realized by now Bush makes out like a bloody bandit.  $200K per year.
Plus expenses.  Free drugs.  And none of it matters 'cause he's rich already.
I tell you, folks, is this the greatest country in the world, or what?

c
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: CEG112@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: "Bad Boy Club Stickers"
Date: 27 Jul 92 17:12:43 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Penn State University

It's not just a California thing.  I live in Pennsylvania and they're all over
the place.  I guess people thing it makes their car look awesome.  Personally
I think it makes the car look like junk.  Who would want to put some ugly
sticker on a car and junk it up.  I've even seen people put them on the side
windows of a four door Tempo which is more like a family car to me.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: BDI On Board
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 17:10:59 GMT

In article <92210.183642JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu> Jenni Sheehey <JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>!Peeve: starting week after next, Jenni will no longer be *in*
>Pennsylvania.
>
>Hey, Michael, Laura, Joy...  you wanna do lunch?  =)
>

good idea! i never did get to get together with michael. we could have
a peevefest east! :) anybody else up for it?

peeve: letting invitations for fun things slide when i should be taking folks
	up on them.

antipeeve: maybe this one will come to pass. :)



-- 
-lp  ****************************************************************
*    "i may make you feel but i can't make you think" --Jethro Tull *
*********************************************************************
From: serget@syma.sussex.ac.uk (Serge A Thill)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: more advertisements
Date: 22 Jul 92 01:46:05 GMT
Organization: University of Sussex

Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:

Peeve: That I missed this followup before posting about the roadblocks.

Cure: This post.

: > It was a full-page newspaper ad in last Saturday's Guardian. It
: > depicted a leafy suburban street. Parked in the street was a
: > land-rover, new and in good condition, but plentifully mud-bespattered
: > on and around the wheels. The caption was "What French roadblocks?".
:
: Hmmm. Unrealistic. More realistic, perhaps, would have been to have had all
: the windows smashed (by bricks thrown by irate lorry drivers) and the
: Landrover liberally spattered with blood, caused by the lorry drivers
: dragging the occupants out of the vehicles and beating them to a pulp.

Sounds familiar. Like winter of discontent and Brixton, or, more recently, like
Newcastle and Bristol. 

There seems also to be a slight confusion with the L.A. riots.

: Peeve: French lorry drivers. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't all
: this fuss over a new law which meant that any French lorry driver could no
: longer more or less drive in any way he wanted to as long as he/his firm
: had the cash to pay the fines? They seemed to be complaining about how the
: penalty points/driving ban system posed a threat to their livelihoods i.e.
: that breaking the law regularly was a necessary part of their job.

Me thinks the French lorry-drivers got a good deal at the end. Unlike
what happened in most strikes over here.

: Peeve: French farmers. Like the lorry drivers, but worse. Seems to me that
: French farmers will protest about, then set fire to, almost anything.

...English. Anybody knows why?


ObAntiPeeve (Hi ObTerrorist): England playing against France. Especially if 
you don't belong to any of these nations.

--
Serge Thill.      E-mail: serget@cogs.susx.ac.uk
                  Other Networks: serget@syma.sussex.ac.uk
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Self-serve gas stations
Date: 29 Jul 92 13:15:56 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <1992Jul27.182029.14115@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
|> 
|> Peeve2:  Fellow Atlantan, one Mr. A. Jing "Dave" Hippy, was in town for
|>          the weekend.  Due to my full weekend schedule and his full
|>          weekend schedule, we never did get to meet face-to-face.  Our
|>          respective records of never having met another peever in-person
|>          are intact.  Still, I got a "KILLER", way ]<001 photo at the
|>          Braves game Saturday.  Outfielder Otis Nixon figured most
|>          prominently in that photo.  Braves fans will (or may not?)
|>          know the play I am referring to.

I was there, in town, and do indeed know the play to which you refer.

Bill and I have now at least *heard* another peever, since I spoke with
his voice-mail.

See the peeve a bit farther down about the "full weekend schedule".

Oh, and a mystery of the ages is resolved, for all of you people out there
who have been wondering:  It's pronounced BER-ba-nick.

Knew you'd wanna know.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas |
|and live in Hell. - Philip Henry Sheridan         |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: jflint@libserv1.ic.sunysb.edu (Jesse Flint)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Kids N' Stuff
Date: 22 Jul 1992 23:17:00 -0500
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

Bill:

Fo one, it's NOT Jesse, it's Tog! I didn't include my .sig
file in the posting... don't know WHY... 

>...you are obviously in the wrong vocation

I LIKE toys. I don't like KIDS. Anyway, it's really the
only job I could find right now, so I'm sticking it out
(to coin a phrase :))

> [stuff about Georgia & 14-yr olds]

I personally wouldn't fool around with anyone under the
age of 18, no metter how good she looked... the whole "save
our children [that WORD again!] from perverts" anti-sex
campaign going on these days scares me too much... yeah, like
I NEED a "child molestation" arrest...

Peeve: "Family" -- WHY do so many IDIOTS talk about "family
this" and "family that" as if the only valid "family" was
Mom, Dad, Bill and Sis? And, of course, a BABY on the way
(now, Tog, don't do the "baby" rant...) What the HELL'S wrong
with not being married these days? "Marry and Reproduce"...
just like in They Live... :p (pppppblt!) Kiss my "family
values"! 

--Tog   <--- NOT Jesse Flint... don't get him involved :)

-- 
############################################################################
#DISCLAIMER:    	     # "You should fully realize what society has  #
#	                     # made of you and take a terrible revenge.    #
#THE OPINIONS IN MY POSTINGS # Get weird. Get way weird. Get dangerously   #
#ARE MINE AND DO NOT REFLECT # weird. Get sophisticatedly, thoroughly      #
#HE VIEWS OF MY HOME SYSTEM  # weird and don't do it halfway.."            #
#OR THE OWNER OF THIS        #			                           #
#ACCOUNT.  		     #  Gary McCammon a.k.a. Tog                   #
#                            #  jflint%libserv1.ic.sunysb.edu@sunysb.edu   #
#			     #					           #
############################################################################
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: you got chocolate on my peanut butter
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 24 Jul 1992 16:43:12 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Jul23.231609.5700@bert.eecs.uic.edu> artn@bert.eecs.uic.edu 
(Ellyn Sandor) writes:

>	Chicken&Chocolate (tm):  Have you ever had chicken with mole sauce?
>Mole is a {spanish|mexican}* sauce based (I think) on chocolate.  Strange
>and sweet but good once in a while.

Mole (moe-LAY) is based on *cocoa,* not chocolate.  It also has other
stuff in it, and it's not a chocolate sauce.  There's a killer Mexican
restaurant in Mountain View called La Fiesta that serves some really
good mole dishes.  

Peeve:  I haven't had lunch there in ages because JZ and Andy are hung up
on another place called Chapala.


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: BDI On Board
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 11:45:15 BST
Distribution: world
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
> You forgot to mention that bigger animals will fall faster because
> they'll attract more gravity. That's why we get the law of physics: "The
> bigger they are, the harder they fall".

Also, because the animals are moving downwards, the gravitons reach them more
quickly.  Hence they move downwards more quickly.  That's why things
accelerate.


mathew
[ Next week on Mr Potato Head Teaches Physics... ]
-- 
It is always dangerous to generalize.

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: chazl@county.lmt.mn.org
Subject: Re: Radio stations
Organization: LaserMaster Corp.
Distribution: alt
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 21:57:03 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.020814.909@syma.sussex.ac.uk> serget@syma.sussex.ac.uk
(Serge A Thill) writes:
>adwright@iastate.edu writes:
>: Is there any known way to stop "achy breaky heart" from playing inside my
head?
>Get a disk from Duran Duran that features "The Reflex". Listening to that song
>once should be sufficient. 

Oh, thanks a lot.  Just the mention of "The Reflex" has caused it to take up
permanent residence in my brain...and I don't even know all the words.  Thanks
loads.

"The reflex...da da da da da da da da da da daaaaah"

chaz
From: bill@wabwrld.UUCP (Adjunct Scrutinizer)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Sheepdog Bogroll
Date: 24 Jul 92 03:47:40 GMT
Organization: Shaque d'Amour

Where the hell is Sheepdog Bogroll?  You'd figure he'd have found net 
access already.  Perhaps he's saving his peeves up.

Big!Peeve:  Outer Limits marathon coming up on the TNT network.

--
"I'm not only the Hair Club president, but I'm also a client."
  -Sy Sperling
From: carolo@cse.ucsc.edu (Carol Osterbrock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: radio stuff
Date: 22 Jul 92 05:30:59 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz (CE/CIS Boards)
NNTP-Posting-Host: arapaho.ucsc.edu

In article <1992Jul21.230155.22123@twg.com> nolan@twg.com writes:
>
>In article <35831@sdcc12.ucsd.edu>, kprashan@sdcc3.ucsd.edu (hyderabadi) writes:
>
>[whining about the practices of commercial radio stations mercifully excised]
>
>LargePeeve: Whiners going on and on about discretionary activities like
>listening to the radio. GET A CLUE! Don't listen to those stations if they
>bother you! Change the station, or turn the bleedin' thing off.

Ah, but this is not always possible.  I had lunch the other day in a
restaurant that was playing some San Jose station which played "all
the songs you haven't heard in *years*".  Well, if I'd wanted to hear
those songs, I would have listened to them at least once in the last
20 years.  It was almost funny by the end of lunch, because it was all
the songs that have been posted on alt.peeves that really annoy you
but you can't get them out of your head.  Well, if they play 20 of
them in a row ("NO commercial interruptions!"), they cancel each other
out, and you end up with the memory of a very unpleasant experience,
but no one truly awful song bouncing through your head all afternoon.

>Nolan "Grandpa Grumble" Hinshaw

-carol "next time it's carry-out" o

>"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
-- 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Carol Osterbrock       *       Such a long, long time to be gone
carolo@cse.ucsc.edu    *         And a short time to be there...
===============================================================================
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Micro Beards (was something else entirely)
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 30 Jul 1992 15:27:47 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Jul30.044141.1096@cs.yale.edu> elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU 
(Bruce Elliott) writes:

>So what's the problem?  Is someone forcing you to attend?  


Yeah; it's part of his social contract with the govenment. 



Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU (Bruce Elliott)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Oh, and one more. . .
Date: 23 Jul 92 04:13:38 GMT
Organization: Yale University Computer Science Dept., New Haven, CT 06520-2158

In article <LARRY.92Jul22093656@peak.psl.nmsu.edu> larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:
>
>And Nova is Spanish for "Won't Go".


Actually, "No va" is Spanish for "Doesn't go."
Spanish for "Won't go" would be "No ira'."
 
 
Alex Elliott
The Lemming.
elliott@minerva.cs.yale.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: charless@sco.COM (charles stross)
Subject: Re: Kids N' Stuff
Organization: The Somewhat Contagious Operation, Inc.
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 07:26:57 GMT


In article <01GMMF90HXO2AKU30C@ccmail.sunysb.edu> jflint@libserv1.ic.sunysb.edu (Jesse Flint) writes:
>I want somebody to explain this to me:
>
>Peeve: Kids. Children. I DON'T like them. Not only don't I like them,
>I HATE them. Whiny little snots, spoiled (especially here on Long 
>Island) crabby crying little anklebiting shits. Here I am, working
>in a toystore, and the place's full of the whiny little bastards. Makes
>me want to sterilize myself with a boxcutter.

Been there, done that (except the boxcutter bit :) ...

Toy shops bring out the worst in kids. However, between you and me
I know some other guys who share your (any my) opinion of the
house ape infestation, and have taken positive steps to control it.
All you need to do is to order a new stock of cheap toys of the
luminous-plastic-with-lots-of-dangerous-bits-that-fall-off-and-
get-swallowed persuasion from those lovely toy manufacturers in the
far east, whose aim in life seems to be to dream up the most lethal
and elegant tools to augment the rug rat's already lemming-like
rush towards self annihilation. Then you place these bright and
shining weapons in cheap dump bins by the door and wait for the 
kids to either (a) steal them or (b) throw a tantrum until mom or
dad buys them one to shut them up. The kind of toys children are
most strongly attracted to are invariably useless, fragile, horribly 
expensive and likely to cause serious injury to them if they attempt
to play with them. By bearing this in mind you can turn a tidy
profit, _and_ feel that you are probiding a public service! NB:
it might be sensible for you to do this under an assumed identity.
Be prepared to leave town and see the world. Etc. 

>AND
>
>Peeve: Parents who obviously HATE their kids. I just LOOOOVE it when 
>some idiot threatens their little brat with bodily harm; makes me want 
>to go over and offer 'em a baseball bat. "Here, you can do MUCH more 
>damage with this!" If you don't LOVE the damn thing, why'd you HAVE it??

Parental pressure. ``If it was good enough for us, it's good enough
for you.'' This is probably the best reason out, which doesn't say
a lot for the other reasons ...

>Now here's the deal... I despise children with a vengance, but I
> equally hate the parents who threaten their kids with flaming death. 
>Is there a sorta inconsistency here?

No: it just indicates that you don't like people whose highest
function in life is to make like a Von Neumann machine.

>!Peeve: The cute girls who come wandering through the store.
>Peeve: They either all have boyfreinds or children.

Peeve: My Little Pony and the Care Bears.
!Peeve: Adult toys. (I can hear the groans already ...)

-- 
Charlie Stross aka charless@scol.sco.com ..... UNIX oriented text mangler
WARNING: The opinions voiced in the preceding electronic document are the
product of a warped mind. Take two before meals. 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: An even more peeveful BDI driver peeve
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 17:12:07 GMT

In article <1992Jul23.130723.26735@sys.sweden.dg.com> suss@sys.sweden.dg.com (Susanne) writes:
>In article <92198.192927JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu>, Jenni Sheehey 
>> UnrelatedHint: Women should not wear bikini underwear that is too tight
>> under close fitting slacks.  Especially not fat women.
>
>Fat women should not wear close fitting slacks. Other women should not
>wear underwear under close-fitting clothes.

peeve: patterned underwear under white pants. 

-- 
-lp  ****************************************************************
*    "i may make you feel but i can't make you think" --Jethro Tull *
*********************************************************************
From: paul@alantec.com (G. Paul Ziemba)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: you got chocolate on my peanut butter
Date: 22 Jul 92 02:16:32 GMT

clc@otter.hpl.hp.com (Claudio Calvelli) writes:

>"Well, I like hot chocolate. I like chicken. So I must like chicken with hot
>chocolate sauce (*)". 
>(*) If you *do* ike chicken with hot chocolate, that's fine (I don't).

Hey! are you impugning one of my favorite foods? Chicken and chocolate
happens to be a _fine_ combination. So there!

(Hmm, chicken and peanut butter also tastes pretty good; I wonder if
I'd like chocolate and peanut butter...)
-- 
Paul Ziemba  paul@alantec.com	alantec!paul  408.955.9000 x227

"The artist is not a special kind of man, but every man is a
special kind of artist." -- Ananda K. Coomaraswamy
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Scooby Alert!
Date: 31 Jul 1992 07:05:22 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

(Jenni "Danforth" Sheehey) writes:
>Peeve: being held responsible for all 1000+ people on PSUVM.

1)  We don't hold you responsible, we just notice trends, and 2) if
we wanted any comeback from you, we'd merely scrape your throat.

>Well, if you mean that as: "A person who, for some reason (Me: being
>from PSUVM, DQ: being generally not too bright) ends up being a target
>for unimaginative people who take parts of what they say out of context
>and ridicule them regardless of the merit of the ideas behind them,"
>I guess I can see the parallel.

The parallel, Jen, is that you're both spouting ridiculous ideas
that, at only a very superficial level, sound reasonable.  You both
think you're knitting Grand Ideas for a Better America and don't
realize you each just have a mass of knotted and tangled yarn on
your lap.  It's a result of viewing the world's problems through
down-home, toe-in-the-dirt, paint-a-happy-face glasses.

>FreeFact: Most people polled in all of the radio polls by major stations
>agreed with Dan Quayle that a child is better off with both parents.

HEAR YE! HEAR YE! Dan Quayle is *not* a dunce because a majority,
nay, a *vast* majority of the populace agreed with him on a
true/false matter of opinion.  Did you ever take something like an
"Introduction to Logic" philosophy course, or was your entire
curricula devoted to improving your ability to *sing* "For here or to
go?"

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
I suppose that if I were a baseball fan I'd get equally peeved at
"RBIs," but the only stick-and-ball-type sport I watch much of is
women's beach volleyball with the sound turned off.
					-- Scott Fisher