HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: poser@vxdsyc.desy.de (Till Poser)
Subject: Re: Smoking toads
Reply-To: Poser@vxdsyc.desy.de
Organization: Deutsches Elektronen Synchrotron, Experiment ZEUS bei HERA
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 08:16:50 GMT

In article <1992Jul29.001411.23032@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>, 
tlod_ss@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Thede "Bo" Loder) writes:

|>From what I've heard, the Cane Toads that live in the cane fields in Australia
|>also have hallucenogenic (pardon my spelling) qualities.  People would 
|>boil the toads, remove them, then boil down the remaining 'soup' until it
|>dryed, then smoke the dry powder.  I'm not sure how long the resulting trip
|>was supposed to last.  

This thread has only mentioned toads up to now, but I'd be interested to
hear about newts. I have heard that the exudations specifically of cave
newts are highly soporific even in the smallest quantities (cave newts are
a prolific subtropical species whose live preferredly in the vicinity of
volcanos). Can anybody verify that? Could halluzinogenics be extracted from
cave newt carcasses?

|>-tlod_ss@uhura.cc.rochester.edu>

(It had to be asked!)

       Till Poser         Internet: poser@vxdsyc.desy.de
-F35- ZEUS DESY/Freiburg  Bitnet:   POSER@DESYVAX
bldg.1b-235, Notkestr.85  Hepnet:   VXDESY::POSER (13313::Poser)
   D-2000 Hamburg 52      Tel.: -49-40-8998-2004
From: kimy@monteverdi.cs.unc.edu (Yong-Mi Kim)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: material longing
Keywords: shoes, hats, gloves
Date: 22 Jul 92 19:34:27 GMT



I like hats.  I need shoes.  I long for elbow-length gloves
of satin, of kid, of velvet, in black and blue and magenta.
And deep forest green.

I would like my body to be a lustrous setting for those shoes,
hats, and gloves.  I would like to be a shimmering blur
except for those body parts that would fill out the fabric
of those gloves, make those hats float and bob, and mutilate
the shoes in hard pavement.



yong-mi
I float
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: act@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops)
Subject: Re: toast
Keywords: M M M M M
Organization: University of Canberra
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 92 08:12:30 GMT

>Blair writes:
>)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Marmalade.
>)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Marmoreal.
>)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mont Martre.
>)>>>>>>>>>>>>>Monroe Doctrine.
>)>>>>>>>>>>>>Maroney Award.
>)>>>>>>>>>>>Mutlu Prize.
>)>>>>>>>>>>Maltese Falcon.
>)>>>>>>>>>Malpighian corpuscle.
>)>>>>>>>>Manon of the Spring.
>)>>>>>>>Man of War.
>)>>>>>>Mather, Cotton.
>)>>>>>Mann Act.
>)>>>>Menarche.
>)>>>Manny, Moe, and Jack
>)>>M3 Money Supply.
>)>Morgan le Fay
>)Megalomania.
>)Mea culpa.
Meliorism

act@csc.canberra.edu.au       Eye t'ought Eye taw a putty tat.
Look Once...         .-)      
   Look TwEyece..    .-) .-)       
      Half See...    .-)
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Foo")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Blessed Silence
Date: 30 Jul 92 15:56:15 GMT
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom


    The best global kill file item I have is the one that automatically
kills any article whose subject ends with an exclamation point.

--

                And for to see, and eke for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: drseuss@gorn.echo.com (David Bedno)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: WHO IS?
Keywords: I'm actually serious
Date: 18 Jul 92 00:08:24 GMT
Organization: Tofu Vavohu

and i quote act@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops): 
-who  is Carasso,

Carasso is the dot that seperates talk and bizarre.

							any questions?

-- 
     David Bedno		       	             drseuss@gorn.echo.com
"It was a beautiful, almost poetic way to cap what had been a textbook career
of brilliant, original mathematical insights punctuated with outbursts of
random, deeply unhinged violence."                - olin.shivers@h.cs.cmu.edu
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: some 100-worders
Date: 25 Jul 92 00:24:39 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)


	He woke, his face aching as from a huge cyst in the bridge
of his nose.  He had long derived almost a sexual thrill from forcing
pus and sebum from pimples and cysts: he ran to the mirror and with
the knuckles of his forefingers pressed against the cyst.  Something
large shifted beneath his skin: he set his hands futher apart, and
tried again.  He wept from the pain, but the cyst would not burst.
His hands almost to his cheekbones, he made his final, utmost effort.
	His face burst open, his head collasped, and the cyst shattered
the mirror.

-

	The doctor looked up from his breakfast bowl of crushed brick
and sorghum syrup.  "Aphasia, my dear," he said to his wife, "why are you
becoming a wombat?"  For indeed the metamorphosis was well under way.
	"The pet shops are offering an excellent price for them, " she
said, scratching the new fur on her shrinking body with a paw.
	"You might have given me some warning," he said, and dropped his
spoon into the bowl with a clatter before stalking off to the basement
to get another wife from cold storage. 
	"Sorry about that, Desmid," were her last words.

-

	"We could still be friends," she said.
	"No," he said.  "I'd always want more than that."  He turned
and walked straight towards the building site a hundred yards away.  She
expected him to turn at the high fence, but he climbed.  The razor wire
atop it seemed not to bother him at all, and she did nothing.  Then she
saw the blood on his hands.
	"Courtney!" she cried, running towards him.  He ignored her and
walked straight towards the mound of yellow clay.  He fell on his face.
His body melted into the clay and vanished.  She began to scream.

-

	The body of the Countess lay naked in the charmed circle,
beautiful though pale in death.  The wound near her heart was barely
visible.
	The hag shed her homespun cloak and was naked.  She smiled,
took the chalice, drained it in one gulp.
	She watched her metamorphosis in the bronze mirror.  The vileness
vanished from her skin and frame and hair.  Her features shifted, becoming
those of the dead Countess.
	Suddenly, blood spurted from her chest.  With a cry of agony
she crumpled to the floor.
	The old wizard entered, saw the identical corpses, shook his head.
"Incompetent," he muttered.

-

	Roger snickered as he finished reading the message: another
infatuated geek tricked by his fake user name.  He thought for a moment
and began to type his reply.  "Jim," it began, "I'm nineteen, blonde,
great body (I model bikinis in the summer), big green eyes.  I'm proud
of my tan..."
	Roger was so intent on his writing that he saw nothing of the
change: how his fingers became long and delicate, how his face became
beautiful, how his body shrank and gained new curves.  Only when the
woman he had become heard her own laughter did she notice anything amiss.

-
Mark.
gooley@netcom.com
From: heim@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JOHN HEIM	)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Magic Johnson
Date: 28 Jul 92 19:04:40 GMT
Organization: University of Wisconsin Academic Computing Center

With a name like that how can you expect him to NOT be promiscuous?

JGH
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA)
Subject: Re: Masochists' Bargain Store
Organization: WHorshipers of Lady LibertY (WHoLLY)
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 15:39:56 GMT


lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:
>
>   Jenny BALLMAN informs:
>   : Fries, in this part of the world, are steer/ram testicles.
>
>   you know, if ever i were confronted with expert opinion,
>   this has to be that moment.

...oh I get it....her last name...GOOD ONE ANDREW!!!!

a par lippert joke

--

	\\\\\sean/////
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA)
Subject: Re: shoe lust
Organization: WHorshipers of Lady LibertY (WHoLLY)
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 16:03:41 GMT


 kimy@monteverdi.cs.unc.edu (Yong-Mi Kim) writes:
>   Dammit, I *need* those shoes.  I really do.
>
>   The shoes I already have are not relevant to this discussion.
>   I need the shoes because that need is part of my nature - your
>   definition of "need" is not *my* definition of "need."  Don't
>   you impose your male value system upon me.  Your "needs" and
>   my "needs" are different.  If I don't have those shoes, then
>   I can't function optimally.  You're claiming with your penile
>   logic that I don't need them, because their absence does not
>   affect my normal functioning.  Yes, it does.  I have seen them,
>   and now I *need* them, and there is this vortex of need in me
>   that was not there before.  I cannot be whole again until I
>   have those shoes.  You are totally irrelevant here.  I *want*
>   them, and therefore I *need* them.

One large point of contention with my ex-SO was her obsession with
shoes.  She worked at a shoe store and spent around a third of her
check on shoes;mind you this was with her employee discount.  

Our rather austere student's flat was filled with all manners of
shoes. The closet was hopeless.  Shoes were stacked to the ceiling
in corners, they nestled at the foot of my guitar and amp.  The bed
bulged from shoes stuffed 'neath it.  Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes....

--

	\\\\\sean/////
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:23289 alt.slack:2162
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.slack
Subject: ANAGRAMS
Date: 24 Jul 92 21:19:45 GMT
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

I saw this real ad in a real (and well respected) magazine:

    Your very own ANAGRAMS?

    Send us a phrase with $35.00.  We'll send you
    scads of custom-made anagrams. Or send SASE
    for more information  Calif. residents add tax.

    ARS MAGNA       Box 2157
		    Orinda CA 94563

At those rates I figure t.b owes Dave Polewka $211,770.

rp -- although I would have written the ad:
	Send me a phrase with $20.00. I'll send you
	scads of custom-made anagrams. Or kill me.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark William Hopkins)
Subject: Perot Has Re-Entered the Presidental Race!!
Followup-To:  misc.jobs.offered
Organization: Computing Services Division, University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 22:09:29 GMT

JUST KIDDING

DREAM ON LOSERS!!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Michael A. Rigler)
Subject: The Curse of Conan
Summary: fulfilling an old obligation
Keywords: *GONG*
Organization: Low End of the Bell Curve
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 02:29:55 GMT

"How many guards slain?"

"Seven, Dread Lord.  And...I'm afraid...your favorite snake as well."

"Bring this man to me."

So the mighty one was brought forth, bound and struggling in chains, 
and cast before the throne of Thoth Amon like just another sacrificial 
virgin.

"Stinking barbarian, I will not ask why you invaded my peaceful 
home.  We will proceed directly to your punishment."  The dusky 
sorceror produced a scroll from within the folds of his green robe.

Conan glared up at him.

"In the Unholy name of Set, I curse thee, barbarian --"

"Conan."

"...I curse thee, Conan, to be forever marked as the lowly worm 
thou art.  Thou shalt crawl upon thy belly the rest of thy days.  
Lacking arms shalt thou -- " 

"Crom blast you, fiend!  You would turn me into a serpent like 
your Unholy God!?!"

"SILENCE! I'm not finished.  Thou shalt carry both male and female
sexual organs, and thine offspring shalt be the product of union 
with other hermaphrodites.  Thy mouth and anus shall be one and 
the same, and extend from thy ventral surface.  Upon injury thou 
shalt regenerate to form a new whole, except when thy head is split, 
in which case thou shalt divide in twain and form two new wholes 
where before there was one..."

Conan was getting confused.  His nape hairs rose with an unnameable 
superstitious dread.  The wizard droned on in a similar vein.

"...shalt carry naught but two eyes upon thy tiny flat head and 
spend thy days crawling away from strong sources of light lest 
ye be dessicated.  Thou shalt consort with a variety of unicellular 
organisms such as the ameoba, the paramecium..."

Conan felt himself beginning to shrink.  "Blast you wizard!"

"Hah-hah-hah!  Yes!  That's right, Conan!  Smaller...smaller..."

The mage loomed enormously above him.  He leaned down and gently 
scooped little Conan into a petri dish.  His voice was deafening.

"ALL HAIL MIGHTY CONAN, THE PLANARIAN!  BRING ME MY MICROSCOPE!!!"

------------------------------------------------------------------

      Thus the mighty Conan was thwarted in his plans of
      conquest.  Despite many prophecies, it was not his
      destiny to take the throne of Aquilonia with sand-
      aled feet and wear her crown upon a troubled brow, 
      but to choke miserably on an undigestable euglena.

                        [Gerry Lopez -- AccuSurf Update]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Purveyor of Arcane Knowledge)
Subject: Re: a stupid map thread
Organization: The International House of Secretions
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 21:12:44 GMT

*jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu (Larry Jewell) writes:
*|P.S. Does anyone have a map with North on the left hand side of the page?

There's probably thousands of them in the AGS collection here at UWM.  Most
old maps put the east at the top (east = orient = orientation), thereby
putting north on the left side.

Thank you for allowing me this chance to put my nearly worthless degree
to use.


Mark "Not quite in the Gooley stage yet" Lippert 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: benth@microsoft.com (Ben)
Subject:  Yawn.
Date: 23 Jul 92 22:41:23 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corp.

Don't try to play musical one-upmanship here.
You will bore. Trust me.

BENth
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk (Wavey Davey)
Subject: Hat Sniffing                            
Cc: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk
Reply-To: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 22:41:00 +0000


Anyone here experience orgasm whilst sniffing hats?



dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk     |     Earwigs are not the only fruit
CompuServe 70374,1403            |     M-O-O-N that spells Norman
From: gse9k@holmes.acc.Virginia.EDU (Scott Evans)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Bad Uses for thin Steak Knives
Date: 30 Jul 92 15:03:06 GMT
Reply-To: thrash@virginia.edu (Scott Evans)
Organization: or lack thereof


Spreading Skippy Honey Nut Super Chunk Peanut Butter.




s
worked okay on the strawberry preserves, though
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: well-kept secret
From: mborgerding@desire.wright.edu
Date: 22 Jul 92 14:02:51 EST
Organization: Wright State University 

In article <Brr4qv.6Co@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, thoth@uiuc.edu (Ben Cox) writes:
> In Urbana, there is a parking meter that has a wonderful grape flavor
> to it.

Eeeeeewww!  You mean somebody else has been licking my meter?
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep considers "The Real World [tm]"
Date: 30 Jul 92 21:46:54 GMT
Organization: Monterey Bay yacht Club, Monterey CA

He speculates that such a thing exists because there have been intervals
when he was not logged in to his terminal.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
From: dong@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Don M. Gibson)
Subject: Re: BUSH
Organization: Motorola Inc., Austin, Texas
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 17:30:51 GMT

ee448mwj@iitmax.iit.edu (mark j) writes:

>In article <28dmd!g.rdc@netcom.com> rdc@netcom.com (Bob D. Crane) writes:
>>
>>just to get the fire going for this new group:
>>
>>
>>	Clinton is a homo.
>>_________________________________________________________________
>>Bob D. Crane

>This is much like the Bush campaign: put down the other guy.  The comment
>should have been posted to alt.politics.clinton but I don't think it needs
>any help to get going.  Let me give it a try:

>	Bush is a lying wimp with an ugly wife and a goofy smile.

>Yes, much more on target :->  

two-faced, self-serving, out-of-touch, and sickly put it closer to the mark:)
From: mncmic02@uctvax.uct.ac.za
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Make my day
Date: 23 Jul 92 11:36:08 GMT
Organization: University of Cape Town

Spank me. I need a good spanking. I've been naughty. I love a good spanking.
Don't you?

-----
  Gus (not while I'm eating vomit) the Gorilla
"Get it while it's hot" 
              -Gus
"Or even if it's cold"
              - Gus again
----
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Short Shameful Confession
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 17:42:38 GMT

vail@tegra.COM (Johnathan Vail) writes:


>As a child, and even to this day, I harbor a fear and mistrust of
>sunflower plants.  They are somehow mutant weeds with sinister intent.

If I didn't know better, I'd swear they watch me, all day long.

Sol
From: kontos@clipper.ingr.com (Thorne Kontos)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: A NOTE TO RDC
Keywords: 2 weeks of politics with no end in sight
Date: 31 Jul 92 15:34:38 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Intergraph Advanced Processor Division - Palo Alto, CA

RDC,
     I have waded through two weeks of political discussion in search
of one or two even remotely bizarre(tm) topics. If it wasn't for RICHH
providing a few brief interludes of humor, I might have been tempted
to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt why voting for the LOBSTER party
is far superior to anything those Demopublicans or Recrats could hope
to throw together. BTW, the cross was a nice touch...

                                               T.K. Kontos

Sign your ballot with the mark of the claw...VOTE LOBSTER!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: thinman@netcom.com (Technically Sweet)
Subject: Re: Rictus Hep confused.
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 19:34:42 GMT
Organization: International Foundation for Internal Freedom

rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:

>He thought the NT in Windows NT stood for New Testament.

They stole all the code from Knuth's latest:
"Volume 4: Algorithmic Complexity of Blood and Flesh Transformations".

-- 

Lance Norskog

Data is not information is not knowledge is not wisdom.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,soc.culture.british,alt.sex
From: johnf@apollo.hp.com (John Francis)
Subject: Re: SEX
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 19:44:05 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Corporation, Chelmsford, MA

In article <Bs225t.LI5@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve "edified" Franklin) writes:
>This is ridiculous. I am afraid that I no longer can sit passively during 
>this thread. Homophobia is an IRRATIONAL response to homosexuals and 
>their practices. It is NOT irrational to be disgusted by the concept of two
>(wo)men having sex. Although one should tolerate and leave alone such men and
>women, they should never be forced to accept, practice, or condone it.

On the contrary, it is extremely irrational to be disgusted merely by the idea
of what two sane, healthy, consenting adults may choose to do in the privacy of
their own homes.  You call this feeling "disgust" because you can't even admit
to what it really is - fear (that's what "phobia" means) - fear of the different.
The fear of homosexuals is not a natural fear - it is a conditioned response.
Society teaches you to seek out a herd of your own kind, and to fear those who
are different - homosexuals, blacks, jews, vagrants, . . . .

It is more understandable, although still irrational, to be afraid that a
homosexual may make advances to you.  Again, this is a conditioned response
instilled by the teachings of society, which says that it is O.K. for a man
to walk up to a strange woman and make sexual advances, but any other pairing
is in some way deviant.  It has been my experience that the technique used
by women to fend of undesired advances works just as well - just say "No".
In fact it works rather better - I can't recall hearing of too many cases
where a male was raped because an overly-agressive homosexual took "No" to
mean "Yes, but I have to say No because society expects it of me".

Personally, I would rather hang around with homosexuals than with people
who believe that they are doing homosexuals a favour by "tolerating" them.
-- 
John Francis                                johnf@apollo.hp.com
The world can be divided into two classes :-
 those who divide people into two classes, and those who don't.
From: cj@eno.corp.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: one line bio: Ian
Date: 21 Jul 92 23:54:41 GMT
Reply-To: cj@eno.corp.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs

---
Ian hates lending books to people, because for the months
it takes them to read them, he has to stare at the gaps in
his bookshelves where the missing volumes belong.
---
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: tal@Warren.MENTORG.COM (Tom Limoncelli)
Subject: Short shameful airplane confession
Organization: Mentor Graphics, Silicon Design Division
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 02:44:12 GMT

I don't fasten my belt "low and tight".

-- 
Tom Limoncelli -- tal@warren.mentorg.com (work) -- tal@plts.uucp (play)
      Maybe Bush will follow Perot's lead.
From: jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu (Larry Jewell)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: open letter to Roger David Carasso
Date: 24 Jul 92 21:33:28 GMT
Followup-To: misc.test
Organization: Purdue University

In article <3476@atlas.tegra.COM> vail@tegra.COM (Johnathan Vail) writes:
>
>And the number one reason:
>
> - YOU DIDN'T PUT MISC.TEST IN THE FOLLOWUP SO WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THE
>   SATISFACTION OF WATCHING THE STUPID GITS CHOKE ON THEIR OWN POST,
>   SQUIRMING IN THE CYBERNETIC FLAMES OF NEWBIE HELL.

You write a lot of viruses, don't you?













































































































































































..................................................................EOL
-- 
#Larry W. Jewell (ex-USN) WWII-L Listowner    jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu     # 
#"Sunday's horoscope is noteworthy because of its strange, sudden and wholly#
#unpredictable and inexplicable occurrences, affecting all phases of life." #
#--"Your Horoscope," L.A. Evening Herald Express, Saturday, Dec. 6, 1941.   #
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre