HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mcw@ukc.ac.uk (M.C.Wheadon)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: Capitol City Illiteracy
Date: 17 Dec 92 14:20:44 GMT
Reply-To: mcw@ukc.ac.uk (Mark Wheadon)
Organization: Computing Lab, University of Kent at Canterbury, UK.

In article <1gnqroINNpuq@news.UU.NET> tale@ten.uu.net (David C Lawrence) writes:
>(It also hardly seems to make the original message suitable
>for rec.humor.funny.)

Is it just me, or has rec.humor.funny lost its ``funny'' since the
change in moderator?

bUrt
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: catstyle@cathouse.aiss.uiuc.edu (Jason R. Heimbaugh)
Subject: Used to be CatStyle's monthly posting on cathouse
Reply-To: jrh@uiuc.edu
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 14:21:32 GMT

This hasn't been updated in awhile.  But for people who want humor ftp  
sites, it's a start.  As this is an 'other' ftp site list, mine isn't on  
there.  It's cathouse.aiss.uiuc.edu /misc/fun/*.

<Cut here>
Other humor related anonymous ftp sites:

algol.cs.umbc.edu (130.85.100.2)
    /pub/funny
cobalt.cco.caltech.edu (131.215.48.200)
    /pub/bjmccall/non-political/Funny
cs.dal.ca (129.173.4.5)
    /pub/comp.archives/alt.humor.oracle
    /pub/comp.archives/rec.humor
    /pub/comp.archives/rec.humor.d
csseq.cs.tamu.edu (128.194.2.20)
    /ACM/aggie
donau.et.tudelft.nl (130.161.144.100)
    /pub/humor
ftp.uu.net (137.39.1.9)
    /doc/literature/obi/DEC/humor
gatekeeper.dec.com (16.1.0.2)
    /.0/misc/humour
irie.ais.org (141.211.206.16)
    /pub/humor
jerico.usc.edu (128.125.51.6)
    /pub/jamin/sciina
laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au (137.111.3.11)
    /pub/Documents/Humor
mc.lcs.mit.edu (18.111.0.179)
    /its/ai/humor
mintaka.lcs.mit.edu (18.26.0.36)
    /humor
nic.funet.fi (128.214.6.100)
    /pub/misc/funnies
    /pub/misc/old-hsu-archive/publicdomain/texts/humor
ocf.berkeley.edu (128.32.184.254)
    /pub/Library/Humor
pit-manager.mit.edu (18.172.1.27)
    /pub/humor
puffin.doc.ic.ac.uk (146.169.3.7)
    /doc/humour
quartz.rutgers.edu
    /pub/humor
rascal.ics.utexas.edu
    /misc/funny
shape.mps.ohio-state.edu (128.146.7.200)
    /pub/jokes
sifon.cc.macgill.ca (132.206.27.10)
    /pub/docs/misc/dave_barry
slopoke.mlb.semi.harris.com (132.158.82.36)
    /pub/doc/humor
srawgw.sra.co.jp (133.137.4.3)
    /.a/sranha-bp/arch/arch/comp.archives/auto/alt.humor.oracle
    /.a/sranha-bp/arch/arch/comp.archives/auto/rec.humor
    /.a/sranha-bp/arch/arch/comp.archives/auto/rec.humor.d
theta.iis.u-tokyo.ac.jp (157.82.96.67)
    /JUNET-DB/jokes
toklab.ics.osaka-u.ac.jp (133.1.12.30)
    /JUNET-DB/jokes
tolsun.oulu.fi (130.231.96.16)
    /pub/humor
trantor.ee.msstate.edu (130.18.64.2)
    /files/Text
tybalt.caltech.edu (131.215.139.100)
    /pub/bjmccall/non-political/Funny
ugle.unit.no (129.241.1.97)
    /pub/misc/humor

--
Jason R. Heimbaugh (CatStyle)
jrh@uiuc.edu
"If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?" --Ronnie Van Zant
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: dws@ssec.wisc.edu (DaviD W. Sanderson)
Subject: Re: smileys
Organization: UW-Madison Space Science and Engineering Center
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 05:11:56 GMT

My smiley program (containing the largest and most comprehensive
collection of smileys ever posted) was most recently posted in
comp.sources.misc, volume 23.  See your nearby comp.sources.misc
archive site to obtain it.

The comp.sources.misc index line:

v23i102   smiley/part01      smiley - smiley server, version 4, Part01/01

Here are a few anonymous FTP sites and paths:

wuarchive.wustl.edu:
	usenet/comp.sources.misc/volume23/smiley/part01.Z
uunet.uu.net:
	comp.sources.misc/volume23/smiley/part01.Z

Ask your system administrator if you don't know what anonymous FTP is.

DaviD W. Sanderson (dws@ssec.wisc.edu)

	"The Noah Webster of smileys is David Sanderson"
		- The Wall Street Journal, 15 Sep 1992
From: johnson@sleipnir.pb.wes.mot.com (Mark Johnson)
Subject: rec.humor."funny"
Reply-To: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Wireless Enterprises, Schaumburg, IL
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 12:09:45 GMT

In article <5189@gos.ukc.ac.uk>, mcw@ukc.ac.uk (M.C.Wheadon) writes:
=)Is it just me, or has rec.humor.funny lost its ``funny'' since the
=)change in moderator?
=)
Personally, I think it's a slight improvement.  No two people have the same
sense of humor, but Brad and I seemed to be poles apart.  I still think the
best stuff is on r.h., if you're willing to sort through the worst (and most
repetetive and/or irrelevant) stuff to get to it.
-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson"                              |Just because you're paranoid doesn't|
| johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com |   mean they're not out to get you. |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Let's face it; if our lawyers knew what went on here, they'd shut us down.  |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: mre@kepler.unh.edu (Santa MikE)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: Merry Christmas Everyone
Date: 17 Dec 1992 00:40:36 GMT
Organization: University of New Hampshire  -  Durham, NH
NNTP-Posting-Host: kepler.unh.edu

In article <1992Dec15.141855.1@vax1.umkc.edu> digdoug@vax1.umkc.edu writes:
>  Merry Christmas!

And the same to you, too!  

	--Santa MikE...Ho-Ho-Ho!!!


-- 
Mike Escutia	   |	"Holy Bat Caves, Boy Wonder!" 
a.k.a. Pliable Lad |				--Speedball, 
of the LNH	   |MikE@unh.edu |||  		  _New Warriors_ #31 
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: catstyle@deja-vu.aiss.uiuc.edu (Jason R. Heimbaugh)
Subject: Re: BSMFH
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 17:13:42 GMT

In article <1992Dec12.235503.42218@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu> sjb5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (STACY JOHN BEHRENS) writes:
>I've been told there is a Bastard System Manager From Hell or some such thing.
>(the sequel to BOFH)  If anyone has such a beast could it be reposted?  Thanks
>

cathouse.aiss.uiuc.edu /misc/fun/humor/computer/bofh/bsmfh[1|2]

I posted this as opposed to mailing just to let everyone know that I have
most of what people request daily on rec.humor.  But, I only tell people
who have the common courtesy to post requests on rec.humor.d where to find
what they want.

(Not to single anyone out, but the requested sperm bank donor is out on
cathouse - you find it.)

-- 
Jason R. Heimbaugh (CatStyle)
jrh@uiuc.edu
"When my time's over and I'm out on my own,
 You won't find me in an old folks home." --Ronnie Van Zant
From: cindy@berkp.uadv.uci.edu (Cindy Windham)
Subject: Wanted: practical jokes for pretentious co-worker
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Organization: University Advancement, University of Calif., Irvine
Distribution: usa
Date: 16 Dec 92 18:49:49 GMT

The subject says it all.  
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: frank@fnbc.com (Frank Mitchell)
Subject: Re: Murphy's Laws of Love
Organization: First National Bank Of Chicago, Chicago IL, USA
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 19:31:37 GMT

In article <viking.724658253@vincent2.iastate.edu> viking@iastate.edu (Dan  
Sorenson) writes:
> In <31189@nntp_server.ems.cdc.com> ahummel@ems.cdc.com writes:
> 
> >No its: Money can't buy love, but it can buy a lot of first class affection!
> 
> 	You can't buy a woman with money, but just you try and get one
> without it!
> 
> < Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu viking@iastate.edu >
> <  ISU only censors what I read, not what I say.  Don't blame them.  >

Or as a wise man once said: "You can't buy love, but you can rent it."

--
Frank Mitchell,	Business Systems Analyst, First National Bank of Chicago
email:frank@fnbc.com (NeXTmail)

"A sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology."
-- me, I think (twisting Clarke's Law, of course)
From: keith@torme.sharebase.com (Keith Chambless)
Subject: Re: In search of e!!!
Reply-To: keith@torme.sharebase.com (Keith Chambless)
Organization: NCR/ShareBase Corporation
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 92 22:25:06 GMT

In article <Bz104o.135@news.cso.uiuc.edu> jdg41088@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Pickaxe) writes:
>x87bennett@gw.wmich.edu writes:
>
>By the way I have a 1.6 meg file that contains some digits of pi.

Wow, that's a pretty big byte of pi. Are those digits in any specific order?
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.soviet
From: vlad@erg.sri.com (vlad)
Subject: Re: some Soviet emigre restaurant jokes
Organization: SRI International, Menlo Park, CA
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 20:08:56 GMT

In article <BzFxAy.7zr@acsu.buffalo.edu> v140pxgt@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case) writes:
>In article <1992Dec17.225446.2950@oakhill.sps.mot.com>, bradj@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Brad R. Johnson) writes...
>>In article <1gij2mINNqsl@agate.berkeley.edu> muh@physics.Berkeley.EDU (Yury M. Mukharsky) writes:
>>>In article <gDyoVB1w165w@bwalk.dm.com> dlv@bwalk.dm.com (Dimitri Vulis) writes:
>>>>
>>>Kto nibud' znaet, gde vzroslo eto blednoe chudo? Na prostorah Oklahomschiny ili
>>>na pomoikah NYC? Ili on vse zhe sam sebja sechet?
>> 
>>Gosh darnit!  My ROT13 doesn't work.  Can anybody tell me what this says?
>
>It's Russian transliterated. As far as I can tell, it translates literally to:
>
>"Anybody know where this pale wonder came from? The Oklahoma plains or a hole in
>New York City? Or does he cut himself up everywhere?
>
>Obviously, I think I'nm missing some colloquialisms. Any of the emigres want to
>"davajte mne ruku"?

Dan, pretty good translation. The only corection is that the last sentence
should read: "Or does he really enjoy whipping himself in public?"

Keep up the good work!
From: guyh@hpubvwa.nsr.hp.com (Guy Hyde)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Date: 18 Dec 1992 21:50:50 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Bellevue Sales Office
NNTP-Posting-Host: hpubvwa.nsr.hp.com
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8.1]

Christopher Paul Baker (cbaker@tasman.cc.utas.edu.au) wrote:

: I am interested in collecting interesting christian name - surname
: combinations,
: eg:
: Theresa Green

: Does anyone have a list?

When my brother and hsi wife were expecting their first child,
they went through a book of 40,000 names for babies, looking
for names to or not-to name a kid with our last name ( HYDE ).

Here are a few that I remember ( kid is now 25 )

Tanya Hyde

Ophelia ...
Raw ...
Sidonia ...
Phormalda ...

Please add any that come to mind -- this is still one of
our familie's favorite topics for laughs and memories at
reunions, etc.
From: exuptr@exu.ericsson.se (Patrick Taylor)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Why Women Like Trombone Players
Date: 17 Dec 92 23:34:04 GMT
Organization: Ericsson Network Systems, Inc.
X-Disclaimer: This article was posted by a user at Ericsson.
              Any opinions expressed are strictly those of the
              user and not necessarily those of Ericsson.

In article <BzDq7v.LJE@news.udel.edu> demes@chopin.udel.edu (Jim Demes) writes:

>Other reasons:
>Trombone players keep well lubricated so make it easy to slide back & forth.
>Tonguing and blowing techniques.
>Six feet long when fully extended (14 only if you take all the bends out)
>And there's always that little rubber tip at the end!

The 'bone players in our band always used to have t-shirts that read:

   'Big, Bad, Bass Bone'


 ----------------------!!! H A P P Y   H O L I D A Y S !!!-------------------
 ObQuotes:
 "Ignorance and prejudice, confident their ways are best..."
 "Quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand..."

  - Patrick Taylor, Ericsson Network Systems
    exuptr@exu.ericsson.se                    "Don't let the .se fool you"
    Visit the SOUNDING BOARD BBS 214-596-2915, a Wildcat! BBS
From: dfm2@jaguar.uofs.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: <None>
Date: 12 Dec 92 23:11:55 GMT
Organization: University of Scranton

someone corrected an earlier posting of mine which said hannukah indeed
predates Christ, by roughly 400 years.
That is correct, but it was not widely celebrated as a Jewish cultural 
tradition until much later.
Incidentally, I know several Jews who disdain Hannukah as a minor holiday,
made major only by Jews who want something comparable to Christmas so they dont
feel left out.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Jim.Shirreffs
Subject: Re: car acronyms
Organization: JJ Software
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 19:26:17 GMT

In article <18240.164.uupcb@cutting.hou.tx.us>, rose.copenhaver@cutting.hou.tx.us (Rose Copenhaver)  writes:
|>  -=> Quoting Ryan Mccamy to All <=-
|> 
|>  RM> In article <1992Dec3.232445.8497@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu>
|>  RM> johnk@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (John J Kuszewski) writes: >In article
|>  RM> <1992Nov19.182208.2167#makesys.com> john@makesys.com (John Turman)
|>  RM> writes: >>How about TOYOTA - Take Only Your Ordure To America
|>  >> for those of you without a dictionary ordure
|>  >> is another word for feces.
|>  >>
|>  >>Or DODGE - Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
|>  >>
|>  >>Or NISSAN - Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises
|>  >>     Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now
|>  >>
|>  >>Or FORD - Fucker Only Runs Damaged
|>  >>
|>  >No, it's Fix Or Repair Daily
|>  >
|>  RM> or- Found On the Road Dead.
|> 
|>  FIAT:  Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

or Fit It Again Tony. 

jim shirreffs
From: v140pxgt@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Canadian Jokes
Date: 15 Dec 92 22:47:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Dec14.181108.1@camins.camosun.bc.ca>, comptec92055@camins.camosun.bc.ca writes...
>{
>	Well, here is a collection of Canadian humor.  They may not be funny 
>to anybody but us fish eating Canadians, but, I will post them anyhow.

	No, those of us in Buffalo know more about Canadians than you think,
eh? Besides I've done a lot of traveling in all parts of Canada.

>" Why don't Metchosin (the boondocks of Victoria, B.C., Canada) men get 
>married?  Because sheep can't cook!"  Not funny ...
> 
>" What do clams and cunts have in common?  They both cannot be eaten during 
>red tide "  Sorry ladies ...
> 
>" The only thing that we Canadians don't pay taxes for are our dicks.  80% of 
>the time it's unemployed, 10% its hard up, and the other 10% of the time its 
>in the hole, and on top of that it has two dependants and they are both nuts "
> 
>Here is a kinda long joke ...
> 
>	A guy is walking by a theatre and he sees a marquis advertising actors 
>wanted.  So, he goes in and talks to the stage manager and he say that he 
>wants to audition for a part.  So the stage manager says:
> 
>"Sure, go up on stage and show me what you can do!"  So the guy does a little 
>bit of tap dancing, and does some good singing, does a real good soliloqy from 
>MacBeth, and finishes off with a real gut busting comedy routine.  And the 
>stage manager says:
> 
>"Wow, you good, whats you name?"  And the guy says:
> 
>"Penis Van Lesbian, Sir"  and the manager says:
> 
>"I can't let you work with a name like that, can't we just give you a stage 
>name? " And the guy thinks, and finally says:
> 
>"Okay, how about Dick Van Dyke?"
> 
>Sorry, bad humour ... anyhow that is all the jokes for now ... see you next 
>time ...
> 
>-The Smorg

Why do Canadians like to do it doggy style?

1) So the man has a place to put his beer.
2) That way they can both watch Hockey Night In Canada.

How do you spell Canada?

C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

To get to the factory outlet mall.
(viz. Niagara Falls, USA)

How many Canadians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four to form a Parliamentary study group to recommend ways to solve the problem,
one Native to complain that Native Canadians have been excluded from the study
group, one Quebecer to complain that I didn't bother to translate this joke into
frog-speak, one to go over to Cheektowaga, NY (home of lots of Polish-Americans
and the Walden Galleria shopping mall) to actually get a new light bulb and 
not declare it at the border, one to collect taxes on the whole process, and a
last one to get beer for them all to drink and watch hockey with afterwards.

(Believe me-I listen to Toronto radio all the time, so I know how Canada gets!)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: petitc@vccsouth02.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Murphy's Laws of Love
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 03:17:34 GMT

1.  All the good ones are taken.
2.  If the person isn't taken, there's a reason (corr. to #1)
3.  The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
4.  Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant
5.  The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how
much you love them.
6.  Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
7.  The best things in the world are free---and worth every penny of it.
8.  Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction
9.  Nice guys finish last
10.  If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade,alt.best.of.internet
From: damon@umbc4.umbc.edu (Mr. Damon Kelly; ACS (RJE))
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 04:32:10 GMT

[Various examples of downsizing computers to the n^(-infinity) deleted]
You know, I've done something that I've determined impossible to do,
which is attempting to read this thread without plodding through attributed
material:
I've piped each article through "tail" and "more."  'Tis amazing what a hu-
man can do with the tools that already exist.

Do I dare challenge anyone to "top that?"

-d
"Master, have I done well?"
"Indeed you have, Grasshopper.  Here--have a lollipop."
From: sjb5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (STACY JOHN BEHRENS)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: RIDDLES (involving no survivors,bears,birds or bus drivers)
Date: 12 Dec 92 23:40:12 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University


>|>
>|>  Anyway, onto the second riddle which is probably more widely known than the
>|> first but just incase you haven't heard it :
>|>
>|>  Is it possible to construct a sentence in English which contains five
>|> consecutive "and"s and doesn't break any rules of English
>|> grammar/syntax/semantics (i.e. it has to make sense)?
>|>
>
>I've never seen this one, and will be interested to see the answer.
>
>Daniel Silevitch                                 dmsilev@athena.mit.edu
>Massachusetts Institute of Technology
>


He said, "And and And and And".  How's that?  One person describing what
another said.

-- 
Stacy John Behrens
*===)-------------
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The only justification for our concepts and systems of concepts is that they
serve to represent the complex of our experiences; beyond this they have not
legitimacy.                                  [Albert Einstein]
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: johnson@sleipnir.pb.wes.mot.com (Mark Johnson)
Subject: Indiana's Slogan
Reply-To: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Wireless Enterprises, Schaumburg, IL
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 10:43:57 GMT

In article <BzFx1F.7sq@acsu.buffalo.edu>, v140pxgt@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case) writes:
=)
=)That's not as bad as New Hampshire's classic "Live Free Or Die". Is that 
=)supposed to be some kind of choice? I don't understand. And also Indiana's
=)"Wander" (well, given that they produced Dan Quayle, maybe it's not so hard to
=)understand).
=)
Indiana's license plates used to have the slogan "Wander."  In recent years,
they've changed it to "Back Home Again."  I guess they were lost for a few
years there, but finally found a map, or just wandered back home.  There's
got to be some kind of a story of how they got that sequence going...but
then we're talking about the same state where some legislative body tried
to change the value of pi to 3, so it would be easier to remember...
-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson"                              |Just because you're paranoid doesn't|
| johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com |   mean they're not out to get you. |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Let's face it; if our lawyers knew what went on here, they'd shut us down.  |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: haydena@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: blonde joke
Date: 17 Dec 92 14:32:48 -0600
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

what do you call a blond standing on her head?









A brunette with bad breath.
From: glazier@isr.harvard.edu (Andrew Baker Glazier)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: <None>
Date: 15 Dec 92 19:29:03 GMT
Organization: Harvard University, Cambridge, MA


                                      .-~~~-,
                                      (       )
                                    (         )
               -^x^-               (          )
             /~     ~\           (           )
            |         |         (           )
            |         |        (           )
            |     __ _,       (~~~~-(     )
           /\/\  (. ).)       `_'_', (   )
            C       __)       (.( .)-(  )
            |   /~~~  \      (_      ( )
            /   \ ~===='    /_____/` D)}}
          /`-_   `---'         \     |}}
     .__|~-/^\-~|_/_   |^^^^^^^||    |}}
    __.         ||/.\  |       |OooooO}}
    \           ---. \ |       |      \ 
   _-    ,`_'_'  .~\  \|__   __|-____  / )}
   <     -(. ).)    \  ( .\ (. )     \(_/ )}
   ~-       _) \_- ooo @  (_)  @      \(_//.}
  / /_C (-.____)  /((O)/       \     ._/\~_.}
 /   |_\     /   / /\\\\`-----''    _|o<  |__
 |     \ooooO   (  \ \\ \\___/     \ `_'_',  /
  \     \__-|    \  `)\\-^\\ ^--.  /_(.(.)- _\
   \   \ )  |-`--.`--=\-\ /-//_  '  ( c     D\
    \_\_)   |-___/   / \ V /.~ \/\\\ (@)___/ ~|
   /        |       /   | |.  /`\\_/\/   /   
  /         |      (   C`-'` /  |  \/   (/  /
 /_________-        \  `C__-~   |  /    (/ /
      | | |          \__________|  \     (/
  
-- 
"A horse! A horse! Somebody give me a horse, man, because|glazier@ 
I come to bury this dirtball, not to praise him. Whaddya |harvard.isr.edu
think I am? Whether it's nobler for the mind to make people suffer with all
these totally outrageous arrows arrows for a fortune, or what!" -- D.R.
From: mit-6@theory.lcs.mit.edu (MIT-6)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: REQUEST:  The Halting Problem
Summary: Halting Problem
Keywords: Theory, Grad Students, Halting Problem
Date: 20 Dec 92 10:36:18 GMT
Organization: Laboratory for Computer Science, MIT

I'm looking for a story about the Halting Problem.  This was redefined as
the problem of getting perpetual graduate students to complete ("halt")
their studies.  The last (and only) time I saw this article was 3 years ago.

I don't keep up with this group, so if you have the Halting Problem story,
or you know an FTP site that has it, could you please reply to me via e-mail.
I will also forward to anyone else who is interested.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bcollins@utdallas.edu (ARLIN B COLLINS)
Subject: Re: COnfucius sayings....
Organization: Univ. of Texas at Dallas
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 04:33:58 GMT

In an article, griska@teecs.UUCP (William Griska) writes:
>I don't have a list, but here are a few:
>	confucius say woman who fly in plane upsidedown have crack up.
>	confucius say man who lay broad on side of hill not on level.
>	confucius say man who lay broad on ground have piece on earth.
>	confucius say baseball very funny game - how man walk on four balls.
>	confucius say woman with blonde hair on head have black hair by cracky.
>If I think of any more I will send them along. Bye.

  confucius say: secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on desk.
-- 
Arlin B Collins     bcollins@utdallas.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mcobb@scott.skidmore.edu (mary cobb)
Subject: Re: Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts
Organization: Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs NY
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 22:46:21 GMT

Hey Jen, that book you're referring to came out about 2 months ago.  Go
pick it up at your local bookstore, it's good..
 
Eric

Newsgroups: rec.humor