Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: twinkle, twinkle
From: robinson@actrix.gen.nz (Tom Robinson)
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 23:10:17 GMT
Organization: Actrix Information Exchange

In article <21270@ksr.com> johnk@ksr.com (John Kavazanjian) writes:
> Two years ago, someone faxed me a two-page list of
> common folk sayings translated into sesquipedelian (sp?)
> terminology, to whit:
> 
> Scintillate, Scintillate Asteroid Minific
> (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)
> 
> You get the idea.
> 
> Anyone have a copy?

Yup:

CELEBRATED ORACULAR UTTERANCES
 
A buffoon and his accumulation of legal tender are expeditiously
disunited
A fool and his money are easlily parted
 
A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques
vitiate the potable concoction produced by steeping certain
comestibles
 
A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a
miniscule, verdant bryophyte
 
A superannuated canine is immune to indoctrination in innovative
maneuvers
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
 
Abstain from calculating juvenile poultry until the proper period of
incubation has been materalized
Don't count your chickens before they hatch
 
Abstention from any aleatory undertakings precludes a potential
escalation of a lucrative nature
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
 
Abstention from speculatory undertaking precludes attainment
No risk, no profit
 
All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not aurum
 
All that coruscates with resplendence will not assay auriferous
All that glitters (glisters) is not gold
 
Avian species of identical plumage congregate
Birds of a feather flock together
 
Desist from enumerating your fowl prior to their emergence from the
prenatal ovoid structure
Don't count your chickens before they hatch
 
Disposition to inquiry deprived the feline of its vital state
Curiosity killed the cat
 
Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally
 
Elementary sartorial techniques initially applied preclude repetitive
similar actions to square of three
 
Ergonomia exclusive of diversion renders John a hebetudinous progeny
All work and no play, etc. etc. etc
 
Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion
 
Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of
hedonistic diversion renders Jack a habitudinous fellow
 
Exigency is the matriarch of ingenious contrivance
Neccessity is the mother of invention
 
Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude
 
Freedom from incrustations of noxious substances is contiguous with
conformity to divine prescription
Cleanliness is next to godliness
 
He who cachinnates ultimately, cachinnates optimally
He who laughs last, laughs best
 
Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised
to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles
 
Inhabitants of vitreous edifices ill-advisedly catapult petrous
projectiles
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
 
It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with
innovative maneuvers
 
It is fruitless to wax lactymose concerning precipitately departed
lacteal fluid
 
It is practicible to entice an Equus Caballus to a reservoir of liquid
hydrogen oxide, but coercing him to imbibe is insuperable
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink
 
Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony
 
Male cadavers are unyielding of testimony
Dead men don't tell tales
 
Members of an avian species of an identical plumage congregate
Birds of a feather flock together
 
Mendicants are interdicted from elective recipiency
Beggars can't be choosers
 
Missiles of ligneous and of nonmetallic mineral consistency have the
potential to fracture my osseous structure, but malicious appellations
are eternally innocuous
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me
 
Missiles of ligneous or petreous consistency have the potential of
fracturing my osseous structure, but appeliations will eternally
remain innocuous
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
 
Neophyte's serendipity
 
Persons of imbecilic mentality deviate in parameters which cherubic
entities approach with trepidation
 
Probity gratifies reflexively
Honesty is its own reward
 
Promiscuity, controlled substances, and annepestic tempo
Sex, drugs, and roll 'n' roll
 
Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity
Beauty is only skin deep
 
Scintillate, Scintillate, asteroid minific
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
 
Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted
 
Surveillance should precede salutation
 
The existence of visible vapors from ignited carbonaceous materials
confirms conflagration
Where there's smoke, there's fire
 
The person presenting the ultimate cachination possesses thereby the
optimal cachination
 
The styles is more potent than the claymore
 
The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled
saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit
A watched pot doesn't boil
 
Ululate not over precipitated lactal secretion
Don't cry over spilt milk
 
Upon the non-presence of the Felis Catus the Mus Musculi proceed to
engage in sportive capers
When the cats away the mice will play
 
Where there are visible vapors having their prevalence in ignited
carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration

Newsgroups: rec.humor