HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mikes@ars2.uucp (Mike Schlosser)
Subject: Re: I don't get 10/28 Far Side
Organization: Automated Retail Systems, Seattle, Wa
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 23:21:38 GMT

In <Bx5Kp0.E6K@wang.com> dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong) writes:


>I don't understand the Far Side calendar for Wednesday, Oct. 28.  On a
>shelf there are three pickle-jar type things (like lab specimens)
>and the caption is "Broca's brain, appendix, and baseball glove"

>I guess Broca must be someone or some piece of culture that I
>skipped over in my life.

>Thanks in advance for the clue.

>Dave

>-- 
>Dave Bushong, Wang Laboratories, Inc.   Amateur Radio Callsign KZ1O
>Project Leader, OCR products            kz1o@n0ary.#noca.ca.na
>Internet: dbushong@wang.com


This was soon after the World Series.
I would guess the three have in common this:
THINGS THAT HUMANS NO LONGER NEED !!!

Maybe, Maybe not.


-- 
  Mike Schlosser <mikes@ars2.UUCP> |Voice:(206)325-8922| AI: The Art Of Making
  Automated Retail Sys., Seattle   |FAX  :(206)325-9127|     Computers As 
  R & D,  Programmer/Analyst       |Standard Disclaimer|     Stupid As Humans.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:33129 talk.bizarre:37019 eunet.jokes:2405
From: rdorocke@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (rob lawrence dorocke)
Subject: Re: Wanted: List of Deep thoughts!!!
Organization: Indiana University
Distribution: na
Date: Sat, 14 Nov 1992 04:11:58 GMT

In article <1992Nov14.013103.26716@athena.cs.uga.edu> gundlach@helena.stat.uga.edu (Gundlach Family account) writes:
>In article <Bxnu2n.DLq@mach1.wlu.ca> macl6441@mach1.wlu.ca (macleod heather) writes:
>%_In article <1992Nov12.145025.5562@desire.wright.edu> nseth@desire.wright.edu writes:
>%_>In article <1992Nov11.191618.18422@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>, el8g@kelvin.seas.Virginia.EDU (Erez Liebermann) writes:
>%_>> In article <1992Nov6.010720.27183@hubcap.clemson.edu> sdarive@eng.clemson.edu writes:
>%_>>>
>%_>>>Could someone please e-mail me the list of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.
>%_>>>
>%_>>>Thanx in advance.
>%_>>>
>%_>>>-Siva
>%_>> Me too please
>%_>> erez@virginia.edu
>%_>> 
>%_>
>%_>I would also appreciate getting that list.
>%_>
>%_>Thanks
>%_>
>%_>Nitin Seth
>%_>nseth@cs.wright.edu
>%_>
>%_Me too please!  Heather macl6441@mach1.wlu.ca
>%_
>%_
>
>Me too! gundlach@helena.stat.uga.edu.
>
>-- 
Hey, I have an idea!!  If someone has a list, post it on this newsgroup.
It took 5 people to think of this.

Rob
>********************************************************************************
>*-:^) *** Mike Gundlach        * "No, please, call me, 'Wonko the Sane'.
>* Gundlach@helena.stat.uga.edu.*  Goodbye, and Thanks For all the Fish
>********************************************************************************


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mchaffee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (REAL LIFE?!?!  HA!!)
Subject: Re: Green Golf Ball Joke
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 23:45:40 GMT
Keywords: GGBJ

cosc184z@menudo.uh.edu (David Alten) writes:

>>Two years ago, I read the funniest joke I ever set
>>my eyes upon, but alas, I've lost my copy of it.
>>Could someone please repost the Green Golf Ball Joke?

>I'm not risking my life for that!!  Nice try, though.  :)

What is the deal with this Green Golf Ball joke?  I've seen it mentioned
several times now, and I would really like to read/hear it.  If there's some-
thing obscene or something about it, fine, but could somebody PLEASE PLEASE
PLEASE mail it to me?  I promise I won't be offended.....

Please?
Thanks in advance

-- 
Michael T. Chaffee        |******BOYCOTT COLORADO******|  ______    
mchaffee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu | Professional Slapthologist |  \    /     HATE
Member, Universal Life Church, Sect of Loons           |   \  /  can never be
Annoyance Theatre Platinum Member |     Evil Genius    |    \/  a FAMILY VALUE
From: dmason@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: The First Official Beaver List!!!
Date: 4 Nov 92 21:35:27 GMT

This is the officially unofficial list of Beaver jingles which
were carefully created by three very bored guys at wpi with the help of 
a few creative women.
Most are self-explanatory, any that are not will be endnoted.


                    Beaver Jingles

Bottled Beaver taste in a can.  Wouldn't that be great?

Beaver 2000.  Perfect for you and all your 2000 parts.

I'm stuck in Beaver cuz Beaver's stuck on me.(Band-aid)

Beaver, Just do it.

Beaver, Why would anyone need another.

Beaver, It just feels right.(Mazda)

Nothing beats a Beaver.

For the holidays, everyone's Beaver should be Mrs. Smith's.

Who wants Beaver?  I do!  I do!

You and the Beaver, full speed ahead.

Be all you can be in the Beaver.

Beaver, good to the last drop.

You deserve a Beaver today.(McDonalds)

I feel like Beaver tonight, like Beaver tonight.

Beaver, bet you can't eat just one.

Beaver, it's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it.

Beaver, it's it and that's that.

It's gotta be the Beaver.(Nike)

Beaver, don't leave home without it.

Beaver, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

There's no wrong way to eat a Beaver.

Beaver really satisfies.

Beaver, the choice of a new generation.

Beaver, gotta have it.

Beaver, it does your body good.

Beaver melts in your mouth and not in your hand.

Have a Beaver and a smile.

Beaver, kid tested, mother approved.

Better eat your Beaver.

Beaver, the breakfast of champions.

Have you driven a Beaver lately.(Ford)

Beaver, I love what you do for me.

JuicyBeaver, the taste is gonna move ya.

Tropicana Beaver, flavors that mother nature never intended.

The night belongs to Beaver.

Beaver, easy to wear, hard to resist.(Stetson)

Beaver, the more you do it the easier it gets.(Macintosh)

It's time to expect more from a Beaver.(Nissan)

Beaver, for all the right reasons.(English Leather)

Beaver, ask anyone who owns one.(Suzuki)

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Beaver?

Beaver's feeding you like family.(Tyson)

Beaver, we make close comfortable.(Norelco)

You never get a second chance to make your first Beaver.

To make our Beavers go faster we took something off.(Toyota)

We run the tightest Beaver in the Beaver business.

Beaver, pure chewing satisfaction.

Our Beaver has been proven to start over 50,000 times.(Ford Motorcraft         
                                                	 Batteries)

Beaver, nothing comes closer to home.(Stouffers)

Beaver makes mouths happy.

New Beaver, The last Beaver of the day tastes as good as the first.(Lark)

I've got the fever for the flavor of a Beaver.


note: Any suggestions for additions to this list should be e-mailed
      to "person" "hwrk" or "cons" at wpi.wpi.edu

disclamer:This list was created with no intent to offend any persons
          reading it or the adertisers who created the originals of these
          jingles.

Enjoy the Jingles!!!!!!!!!!
From: 910907p@ace.acadiau.ca (KEVIN JAMES PROCTOR)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: re proof of existance
Summary: hitchhiker ripoff
Keywords: why
Date: 9 Nov 92 17:08:19 GMT
Organization: Acadia University


    I believe you're looking for a quote from the Hitchiker's Guide to
the Galaxy THGG . I'm not certain but I think it goes as follows.

The Universe ( some information to help you live in it )

1. Size- Infinite.
        The HGG offers the following definition of Infinite. Bigger
than the biggest thing ever and then some, much larger than that in
fact. Really amazingly huge; real WOWEEE That's BIG time...*etc.*
2. Inports- None. It is impossible to import goods into an infinite
area, there being no outside to import them from.
3. Exports- None.  see Imports.

4. Population- None, contrary to popular belief and this fact can be
easily proved. We know there are an infinite number of planets simply
because there is an infinite amount of space for them to occupy. But,
not all of these planets are inhabited; So there must be a finite
number of inhabited planets.
    Now any Finite number divided by Infinity gives as close to zero
as makes no odds so the average population of the Universe can be
said to be zero. It follows that the population of the entire
universe must also be zero and any people you may meet in your
travels are merely the product of a deranged imagination.

** it contiues through more interesting facts but I think thats what
you want. In case you're wondering his logic breaks down when he
assumes there can only be a Finite number of inhabited planets when
in actuality there would be an infinite series of inhabited planets
contained within the series of total planets. Not that it matters
because the universe probably isn't infinite in volume anyway.

                            -Tony Montana
                                -...say 'ello to ma lih'l friend...-
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b)
Subject: Return of Pekka 
Reply-To: terjej@edb.tih.no
Posting-Front-End: Winix Conference v 92.05.15  1.20 (running under MS-Windows)
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 21:57:57 GMT

To understand this joke, you should be aware that Scandinavia has
very strict laws on alcohol. Not only is it taxed heavily, but
you have to go to state monopoly shops to get it. The one good 
thing about it, is the well-made pricelists they have.

Well, Pekka was once seperated from his friend Toivonen, working
as a lumberjack deep in the Finnish woods. In a neighbour hut,
a doctor used to live in his short irregular vacations.
Now Pekka had this habit of visiting the doctor when he was there,
and empty his stock of expensive liquors.
The doctor was getting a little fed up with this. So he brought 
from his hospital a bottle of medical spirit, 96% proof.
Sure enough, Pekka came over in the evening and steered straight
for the liquors. He found the bottle, and as usual downed the 
entire bottle in one swill.
When Pekka had quit coughing and was able to breath again,
he brought up a grubby liquors pricelist with a shaking hand,
and gave it to the doctor: - Cross it out.


-- 
Terje Johansen at Trondheim College of Engineering, Norway.

Bury me deep. The next generations will be hungry.
From: dfm2@jaguar.uofs.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: <None>
Date: 11 Nov 92 18:57:41 GMT
Organization: University of Scranton

HEY, DAN!!!
Finally someone else from SUNY (pronounced soo-nee.)
wierd facts about SUNY #1:
The Albany camous is designed after an ancient Moslem temple floor plan.\
Beyond the fact that its incredibly stupid, beacuse the temples were designed
to cuase wind, and Albany is one of the most miserably cold and windy places on
the planet... The sects of Moslems who built it were the Sunnis.
Coincidence?
From: petebre@elof.iit.edu (Brent A. Peterson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Car Acronyms
Date: 8 Nov 92 22:06:32 GMT
Organization: Illinois Institute of Technology, Chicago

In article <1992Nov8.143326.24729@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> smaus@nyx.cs.du.edu (Scott Maus) writes:
>tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry) writes:
>
>>cmj@acsu.buffalo.edu (christophe m johnson) writes:
>
>>> I've seen quite a few of these, but I've never seen on for Jeep. Anyon
> have
>>> any for Jeep?
>>> 
>
>>Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole.
>>Just Eat Every Pickle.
>
>>--                    
>>INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
>>UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
>>NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453
>1115
>Here is a list of acronyms::
>
> FORD - Found On Reservation Dump
>        Fix Or Repair Daily
>        First On Race Day
>        Found On Road Dead
>
> FIAT - Fix It Again Tony
>
> DODGE - Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
>
> DATSUN - Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips
>
> G M C  - Got Mechanic Coming
>
> BUICK - Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean
>
> PINTO - Put In New Transmission Often
>
>
>Well there you have it!! Add on if you can!!
>
>S


 NISSAN - Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon

 MOPAR - Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars

 BOW TIE - Big Over Weight Tired Impotent Engines

 CHEVROLET - Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time

 PONTIAC - Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadilliac
From: jle@locus.com (John Elghani/10000000)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Banana joke
Date: 6 Nov 92 00:35:39 GMT
Organization: LC

Two women went to the market to buy one pound of bananas,

The first:   Why don't we buy two pounds. 
The second:  What for?
The first:   We'll just eat the rest.  :)

jle
From: tes0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (THOMAS EDWIN SCHMIDLIN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Spinoff from Deer Jokes
Date: 12 Nov 92 02:44:06 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Nov11.131715.612@schbbs.mot.com>, TUK067@maccvm.corp.mot.com (Da
vid Wheeler) writes:
>Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
>A. Fsh.
>
>Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
>A. A walk.

What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take him for a drag.

These are really bad, but if you're in the right mood. . .


What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
Look, here come the elephants over the hill.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing
sunglasses?
He didn't say anything, he didn't recognize them.

What is the same about plums and elephants?
They're both grey. . . except the plums.

What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
Here come the plums. . .she was colorblind.


>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>: David A. Wheeler             :  Whatever Motorola pays me for, it isn't my  :
>: European Information Systems :  opinions. --                                :
>: Motorola Ltd., Camberley,    :              ******************              :
>: Surrey, GU16 5ES             :  Suddenly, nothing happened all the time...  :
>: England                      :                           - Spike Milligan   :
>
-- 


Tom Schmidlin       DEEP THOUGHTS: By Jack Handey - I wish a robot would
TES0@LEHIGH.EDU         get elected president.  That way, when he came
215-758-0875            to town, we could all take a shot at him and not
                        feel too bad.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade
From: ins272u@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (Geoff Green)
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Organization: Monash University
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 02:00:02 GMT

Matthew B. M. Gibson (gothick@dcs.warwick.ac.uk) wrote:
: millernw@craft.camp.clarkson.edu (Neal Miller) writes:
: 
: >brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard) writes:
: 
: >>In article <blech> slb22@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Seth L. Blumberg) writes:
: >>>In article <foo> mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh) writes:
: >>>>In article <bar> kaufman@eecs.nwu.edu (Michael L. Kaufman) writes:
: >>>>>This is all very funny, but haven't you people ever heard of the
: >>>>>concept of trimming? Do we actually need to see the same 50 or so
: >>>>>lines over and over again?
: >>>>Ever hear of a cascade? *grin*
: >>>No, I haven't.  What's a cascade? ;-)
: >>It's a rambling serenade!
: >How is it made?
: Well, you could use a blade.
Or a spade :)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rdorocke@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (rob lawrence dorocke)
Subject: Re: Drinking Rhyme
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 19:26:44 GMT

In article <1992Nov11.160223.11846@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu> msm5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MARTIN SCOTT MCGUIRE) writes:
Newsgroups: rec.humor
>In article <1992Nov10.043318.10213@pony.Ingres.COM>, garrett@Ingres.COM (It's no
>t what you got, it's what you give) writes:
>>In article <1992Nov4.213122.21833@welchgate.welch.jhu.edu>, davidk@welch.jhu.ed
>u                                       writes...
>>>In article 28908@mtu.edu, mtlatour@next13 (MATTHEW T. LATOURETTE) writes:
>>>>Great! Now what tune do we sing it to?
>>>Good!  Lets start a cascade, maybe two.
>>O.K. But only for you.
>>I'm not sure, because I'm turning blue.

What if a miracle happened to you?
From: ddv@unix.brighton.ac.uk (Domenico De Vitto)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: CRAPPY JOKE
Date: 13 Nov 92 09:32:19 GMT
Organization: University of Brighton, UK

Q:Why did the money fall out of the tree ?











A: Because it was viciously hacked to death for telling crap money jokes.

Dom
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: maci9154@mach1.wlu.ca (macivor dawna)
Subject: Re: pickup lines (PARENTAL ADVISORY:EXPLICIT LYRICS)
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 16:37:48 GMT

A guy I know (unfortunately) came up to me with these ones:

You know, that miniskirt (or whatever article of clothing) would look great
crumpled up at the end of my bed!

Got a soggy bun for a lonely weenie?

And the best come-back I've heard.....

(A guy comes up to a girl and says something to the extent of the above)
<female grabs his crotch, looks down at it, and looks back at him>
Sorry.... I don't see any potential here. <walk off>

I've heard it's VERY effective! =)

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ad538@yfn.ysu.edu (Robert Warburton)
Subject: Re: Burp jokes
Reply-To: ad538@yfn.ysu.edu (Robert Warburton)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 20:34:04 GMT


In a previous article, 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.) says:

>
>	Okay, here's a few, anybody else got any?
>

    [BELCH]
      Oooops, sorry. (Make motion like you are wiping something
                         off of someone's shoulder.)

-- 
******************************************************************
*            DARVON,                                             *
*                       take me away..............               *
******************************************************************
From: keven@csugrad.cs.vt.edu (Keven Ring)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: hunting elephants
Date: 12 Nov 92 20:29:01 GMT
Organization: Virginia Tech Computer Science Dept, Blacksburg, VA

C PROGRAMMERS search for the first animal, usually by way of pointers, and then
typecast it to that of an elephant

UNIX PROGRAMMERS can't hunt elephants.  They aren't priveledged enough.

+-----------------------+"Frank-n-furter, it's all o-ver
|Keven Ring		|your mission is a failure. Your lifesyle's too extreme
|keven@csugrad.cs.vt.edu|I'm your new commander - You are now my prisoner
|VPI & SU		|We return to Transylvania.
+-----------------------+Prepare the transit beam!!   -> Riff Raff   RHPS
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade
From: "mike clemens" <mike.clemens@canrem.com>
Subject: secretly wishing...
Reply-To: "mike clemens" <mike.clemens@canrem.com>
Organization: Canada Remote Systems
Distribution: rec
Date: 11 Nov 92 16:24:45 EST

Quoting <cravener@uhunix.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu>

> You're Not particularly adept at logical thinking, I note..
> Those romance novels are sold on stands adjacent to tabloids
> with headlines so astounding I have difficulty recalling any, there
> being no link to real experience or plausibility...
> At any rate, the books you mention are probably read by the same
> people who read those tabloids newspapers - likely both men and
> women, It is possible, given the discrimination that tends to keep
> women from decent education, that there are somewhat more women
> reading romance novels. Probably a combination of low ability levels
> and limited exposure to literature...
> Too bad these offensive posts seem to have corrupted the humor newsgroup
> lately. Could we perhaps ask that the neurotic bigots take their input
> elsewhere, and let the rest of us enjoy jokes?

Any particular reason everyone's posting messages about feminism in
rec.humor?

--
Mike Clemens, Canada Remote Systems
E-Mail:  mike.clemens@canrem.com
---
  SLMR 2.1a  
--
Canada Remote Systems  - Toronto, Ontario
World's Largest PCBOARD System - 416-629-7000/629-7044
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel)
Subject: Re: feminist jokes
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 17:06:26 GMT

In article <1992Nov11.143906.1@jaguar.uofs.edu> dfm2@jaguar.uofs.edu writes:
>Dont equate with being anti-feminist with being anti-female
>Most feminist ideology is working towards a world identitical to what
>a horny, lazy, hateful, bigoted old man in the 1930's could only dream
>about.
><i would never post an anti-female joke, because females are people
>i have no problem with posting anti-feminist jokes because feminism
>isnt people, its an ideology that people subscribe to (which happens to be
>bullshit).

Exactly!!  Just like Christianity!!!!! :) :)

-Mark
Xref: sparky rec.humor:33131 talk.bizarre:37021 eunet.jokes:2407
From: dogbowl@dogbox.acme.gen.nz (Kennelmeister)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: car acronyms
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 92 13:37:16 +1300
Organization: The Dawghaus BBS, Palmerston North, New Zealand (+64 6 357 9245)

Holden ( An Australian manufacturer ) used to make a great selling point
of their "Radial Tuned Suspension"

Everyone else called it Roughly Tuned Suspension......



Alan B                           "Well, we were just laying there
Dogbowl@dogbox.acme.gen.nz        And this ghost of your other lover walked in
Dawghaus BBS +64 6 357-9245       And stood there.
Palmerston North, New Zealand     Made of thin air. Full of desire..

...Why these mountains? Why this sky? This long road? This empty room?"
                                                        - Laurie Anderson
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: zlsiida@fs1.mcc.ac.uk (dave budd)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d,alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: Men's Public Restrooms
Keywords: Hey!  What are you looking at?
Date: 4 Nov 92 12:01:55 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre

In article <Bx2L5s.I1w@access.digex.com> brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard) writes:

>In article <1992Oct31.233319.22310@lclark.edu> higa@lclark.edu (Keith Higa) writes:
>>haynes@cats.ucsc.edu (Jim Haynes) writes:
>>
>>>>You know I've been sitting in front of computer screens way too long.  A new
>>>>name for using the bathroom:  redirecting the output stream to /dev/null.
>>
>>Does that then mean that "flames to /dev/null" now means "flames down the
>>toilet"?  :-)

>I suppose if we're gonna flame down the toilet, we oughtta outfit ourselves
>with plenty of magnesium.

Methane is sufficient

  There's wild bad drink in Tuam,  get that wasp off my sandwich
  (the Saw Doctors)                          email: d.budd@mcc.ac.uk
  Dave Budd, MCC, Oxford Rd, Manchester, England   (44|0)61-275-6033
From: smith@ctron.com (Lawrence C Smith)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Car Acronyms
Date: 6 Nov 92 13:45:20 GMT
Reply-To: smith@ctron.com
Organization: Cabletron Systems, Inc.

In article <Bx8uxJ.9Fp@access.digex.com>, brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard) writes:
>F O R D  --  Fucked On a Real Deal

Ford:
  Found On Road Dead
  Fix Or Repair Daily
GM:
  Grungy Merchandise
Fiat:
  Fix It Again Tony
  Fix It All the Time

Larry Smith (smith@ctron.com)  No, I don't speak for Cabletron.  Need you ask?
-
Liberty is not the freedom to do whatever we want,
it is the freedom to do whatever we are able.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark)
Subject: CHRISTIAN HUMOR
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 19:25:23 GMT

This is a true story...

        I was walking down one of the main streets in the business area of
Vancouver recently when a (so-called) Christian came up to me and asked if I
was "born again".  I very bluntly replied, "No".  Then I quickly added, "My
mother got it right the first time!"




Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: al@escom.com (Al Donaldson)
Subject: draft dodger day 93
Organization: ESCOM Corporation
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 02:29:40 GMT

Tune in this time next year when President Clintron (or as Saddam
calls him, Cuntron..) travels around the country asking voters to 
"let him out of that promise he made today about keeping a strong 
military."  That strategy (of talking to the voters when he wanted
to run for President) worked so well in Arkansas, that he's just
itchin' to try it out on the whole country..

Yaa'll be sure to come out here to DC for Draft Dodger Day in 
October of Ninety Three...  Country Joe and the Fish already been 
booked for a concert on the Mall and that unsightly Vietnam Memorial
can just be filled in with dirt so we can plant Flowers.

Al