From: lcrew@andromeda.rutgers.edu
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: Re: High Standards in Relationships
Date: 29 Jul 92 08:12:31 GMT

As a lesbigay Christian, I agree that we need church discipline.  I
have been active in supporting the work of our diocesan task force on
clergy sexual abuse, and in fact, I have argued in Council that clergy
need to be much bolder in setting higher standards for themselves,
lest the courts become the main arbiter of our faith community.

I also hold to high standards in my local Integrity chapter regarding
whose unions we will bless.  We require any couple to be in attendance
80 percent of the time for at least 6 months and to enter at least
three months of counseling with one of our clergy members before we
will even accept their application that we bless their relationships.
We know that still we have no guarantee that they will anticipate all
major glitches, and we know that no couple really can, that much of
life and relationship is about redemption, not about perfection; but
we want to hold ourselves accountable for nurturing relationships and
for insisting that couples whom we bless give their relationships this
fresh air and scrutiny within our community, because we know that they
will have damn little fresh air from most other communities.....
While in Dallas in May I met with a first cousin who is a prominent
fundmentalist, a Th.D. from Dallas Theological Seminary, etc., and he
shared with me his agonies in trying to counsel couples from even the
most fundamentalist backgrounds about the obligations and nurturance
required for marriage even for the most committed couples.....  We
shared defeats and victories about this for almost two hours, and
could have continued indefinitely.

Our first reunion in 20 years brought on some anxiety for me.  He had
arrived at my motel room with a huge bible.  "Uh oh," I thought to
myself, "he's going to hit me with that one sooner or later, not as a
book of liberation, but as a rock to knock me down in 'love.'"  I
prayed that I would be gentle and loving in reply should that moment
come, that this my cousin would always know that I love him and value
his ministry.

And yes, the moment did come, near the end of our appointment.
"Louie," he said, holding up the mammoth and tattered copy of the KJV,
"I brought this along because it is very special to me in relation to
you."  "God, please help me," I prayed.  And then my cousin opened the
front cover and I saw: "Louie Crew, Jr.," a version of my name I
abandoned in college in 1957.  "You gave me this," my cousin said,
"when you led me to the Lord while I was in high school, and I want
you to know how very much I thank you for that gift and for the love
you and your family have always given me.  As you know, my mother and
daddy did not know this book or the redeemer whom it reveals.  And you
brought me the love of God and God's word, and I love you very much.
God has given me eternal life."

Knock me down with the Word of God made flesh one more time!  Yes
indeed.  Jesus is the Word of God, alive and well in you and me
whenever we put down our cudgels and listen.  My cousin and I both
prayed fervantly, together.

Lesbigay pastors and lesbigay laity will not as a matter of course
destroy the discipline of the church. While we have at least our share
of scoundrels, I am surprised that we do not have more.  Expect people
to behave like criminals, and you should not be surprised if they live
down to your expecta- tions.

I want the church to hold me to a high standard of conduct.  While
sexual abuse has never even tempted me, other forms of lax behavior
have, and I want not special favors about those, except at the Last
Judgment, which I would never approach without the most marvelous
special favor of them all.

Few on soc.religion.christian have any understanding of my people.
Most prefer to remain abidingly ignorant and pontifically glad of it.
Few have prayed with us or worshipped with us in our catacombs.  Fewer
still have visited us when we are sick or in prison or in any other
kind of need or adversity.  Almost no one writes or behaves as if
aware that God infinitely loves lesbians and gays, not on our own
merits, but on God's.  "Lesbians and gays are children of God and
entitled to the full love, care, and pastoral concern of the church."
I wrote that for a committee which later took it to General Convention
and got it passed by the Episcopal Church way back in 1976--but with
little commitment to or understanding of what they were saying.

Straits and lesbigays have so much to share about common struggles in
trying to love mercy, do justice, and walk humbly through this
pilgrimage: I'll be glad when heterosexuals stop insisting that
lesbigays unzip first.  These straits are so much like the first
Christians, Jews all--well meaning and anxious to love God properly,
but frightfully wrong when they kept peeking to check out the
foreskin.  The day is coming when the only way that you will recognize
a Christian is by our love.

Quean Lutibelle/Louie

-- 
  ==========================================================================
  Louie Crew, Assoc. Prof., Academic Foundations Dept., Rutgers U./NWK 07102
  lcrew@andromeda.rutgers.edu                                   201-485-4503
                    Heteroprivilege Is Against New Jersey Law!