HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rkoch@lonestar.utsa.edu (Ruth M. Koch)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: More of Nathan being Depressed. (feel free to skip this)
Date: 27 Jul 92 20:42:52 GMT
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio

kitten quoting john:
>>      I dunno.  You may not be able to speak beautifully (*I* can't) or
>>argue well (I can, once in a while) or even be funny and vivacious. . .
>
>"john...you were doing just fine till you got to the last sentence
>before this one...you have a way with words that is unlike anyone
>else's ....and it IS beautiful..."

  I agree.  You may not know it, but I am familar with that mule,
  and I think that he is very eloquent.  Brevity is a virtue.

>>      But you can love.  And I never know of a time when when a little more
>>loving wasn't appreciated.
>
>"amen"...

  I'm learning this.  Takes me a while, but I'm learning.
>
>kitten hugs john...and nathan too...

 <hug>
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Martyr gets silly! (So...what's new?)
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 18:32:36 GMT

Adrian.Waterworth@newcastle.ac.uk (Adrian Waterworth) writes:
[Martyr describes a lengthy network partition]
: "Of course, telling this story will also allow me to post the
: following little item. It was penned by yours truly on the eighth or
: ninth day of isolation. Just goes to show you that poetry and parody
: come very easily when you're actually living through the events in
: question!"
: 
: Martyr then picks up a guitar from somewhere, remembers that he can't
: play guitar, puts it down again and asks for suitable accompaniment
: from Eddie or anyone else who can manage it. The haunting melody of
: Simon and Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence" fills the air and Martyr
: sings in a voice surprisingly high and clear for someone who looks
: like a well-groomed grizzly bear...
: 
: 		Our little network has gone down.
: 		The entire system's gone to town.
: 		We transmit without receiving.
: 		Our network packets are not leaving,
: 		But our repeater tells us everything's OK
: 		- No bl**dy way -
: 		There's just the sound of silence.
: 
: 		Fibre optics, laser beams.
: 		It's not as nice as it all seems.
: 		NFS is not replying.
: 		All our Sun-3's are simply dying
: 		For the want of a file-system somewhere
: 		No-one can share
: 		Across the sound of silence.
: 
: 		And there's nothing we can do.
: 		Even our e-mail can't get through.
: 		Our mailboxes are not growing
: 		And our outbound mail ain't going
: 		And there isn't even any news to read
: 		- We've lost our feed
: 		Thanks to the sound of silence.
: 
: 		So we sit here feeling meek.
: 		In isolation since last week.
: 		For our network we are yearning,
: 		With all those Usenet flames a-burning
: 		And you never really know how much you care
: 		'Til it's not there
: 		Within the sound of silence.
: 
: "Thank you for listening!"
: 
: <Gulp!>
: 
: <Whizz!>
: 
: <CRAAAASSSSSHHH!>
: 
: 	and Martyr, leaning too far back on his chair, discovers the
: hazards of gravity.
: 
: <THUD!>

As Alfvaen helps Martyr up off the floor, he says, "That's great stuff!  You
should send that to whoever it is who compiles the computer-filk song list.
Anyone have any idea who that is?"

--
---Alfvaen(a.k.a. Aaron V. Humphrey, Page of Newts)
Canadian Network For Space Research, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
"The bullroarer churns a Moebius strip of sound..."  Anna Amabiaca
Current Album--Debbie Gibson:Electric Youth
Current Read--C.J. Cherryh:Merchanter's Luck
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: A return
Date: 26 Jul 92 22:49:45 GMT
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera

In article <1992Jul26.160356.9316@cs.tulane.edu>, pierce@spop.navo.navy.mil (Jim M. Pierce) writes:
>|> StM (rather predictably) says, "You know, that's one of the symptoms....
>|> I know, I know, this gets rather tiresome.  But, Barbara, have you ever asked a
>|> doctor about this?  I STILL (after having been diagnosed [and treated] as a
>|> diabetic) don't know why my temperature tends to average about 2 degrees
>|> Fahrenheit below average).
>
>    How much beef do you eat ? When I became a vegetarian my body tempersture
>   dropped to 95 F. It has since gone back up to 97 F. { Over a period of
>   10 years it went back up, not right away. It went down to 96 F after one
>   month of no beef. And for those who have forgotten, its allergies I face. }

I estimate at least half a pound of beef and pork per day.  If anything, my
mean temperature goes up when I reduce meat intake in favor of complex
carbohydrates.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pope@physics.su.OZ.AU (The Nightstalker)
Subject: The Nightstalker clowns around
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 02:10:07 GMT

The Nightstalker ducks out to the toilets with a big grin on his face, and
returns quickly with an asbestos suit from head to toe.  He also has that
flamethrower that he mentioned after his 'transformation'. 

"A match please Mike."

Mike looks rather worried.

"Be careful will you??  I am insured, but...."

"Relax," smiles The Nightstalker as he lights the flamethrower.  The
flamethrower lights and The Nightstalker proceeds to bathe himself in flames.
"Oh, ah, this is hot stuff."

This continues for a while, until The Nightstalker becomes BORED with all
the flaming.  He switches it off, and takes off the helmet.

"A coke please Mike, I need the feeling.  See people, I am flame proof.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!"


--
 The Nightstalker.....




Paradox: a truth standing on its head to attract attention.

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: sjane@bmers248.bnr.ca (sjs)
Subject: Re: Yet another sleepless night
Organization: Irrelevant, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 10:57:03 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.123637.24060@cco.caltech.edu> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:
>In article <1992Jul20.224615.7635@midway.uchicago.edu>, mss2@quads.uchicago.edu (Michael S. Schiffer) writes:
>	"The death penalty and abortion are really separate issues, as
>>witness the fact that there are plenty of people who are pro-life and
>>pro-death penalty, and as many who are pro-choice and anti-death
>>penalty.
>
>Fine.  Then why can't we call a spade a spade and describe the so-called
>"pro-lifers" as being anti-abortion, if they're also willing to support the
>death penalty?

Well.... how about "pro-equal-chance-to-life" (shortened to "pro-life")
The criminals have blown their chance and deserve to die; whereas, the
unborn hasn't had the opportunity to goof up yet.

Jest trying to be fair to the opposition, y'know,
sjs 
--
It's not irrelevant; it's a hippopotamus.   sjane@BNR.CA
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jpalmer@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (John D Palmer)
Subject: Re: Pi is Three?
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 11:16:54 GMT

In article <1992Jul20.224602.5903@ucc.su.OZ.AU> neilb@physics.su.OZ.AU (The Bellman) writes:
>And on a lighter vein
>
>"A favourite thing of mine,
>A new value of Pi to assign,
>I'd fix it at three,
>for its simpler you see,
>Than 3.14159"
>
>bye
>

      "How I want a drink, alcoholic, of course, after the heavy lectures 
involving quantum mechanics."


-- 
"Love is cool; I mean, like, really cool.  Like, the coolest thing in
the universe, where, like, people open up inside and show the world how
they feel, and they ain't afraid someone's gonna laugh because they, like,
love themselves already!"  --Personality 42, a generic 60's philosopher
From: seawasp@vm2.cis.pitt.edu (Sea Wasp)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Strange Question  (was Responsibilities of Artists...)
Date: 28 Jul 92 00:10:02 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh
Originator: seawasp@pmax1.cis.pitt.edu


	The Wasp's attention is caught by one line in the "artistic 
responsibility" discussion.

	"Y'know, I just was thinking of something a few days ago, and
inadvertently one of these discussions brought it up. I refer to the
mention of explosions in a space battle scene.

	"Explosion noise, obviously, has to be carried by an atmosphere.
Okay, so far so good, space is a vacuum, right?

	"Not quite. It's tenuous as hell, so tenuous that there is ALMOST
nothing there... but there ARE molecules and atoms drifting around there.

	"So, my VERY silly question is:

	"DISREGUARDING any silly limitations like E=MC^2, speed of light,
and all... how powerful and rapid would an explosion have to be in order
to be audible beyond the immediate blast radius in space? At SOME point 
it would have to be able to transmit itself some distance through the
medium...

	"And is it possible for something which contains atmosphere to
explode in such a way that a blast of sound-carrying gas would surround it...
thus making it possible for you to blow something up, pass through the
gaseous envelope, and have the sound transmitted to you?"

                                 Sea Wasp
                                   /^\
                                   ;;;
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lgold@callahans.Cadence.COM (Lynn Gold)
Subject: Re: Manx & 'Loysious
Organization: /mnt4/lgold/.organization
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1992 05:51:48 GMT

In article <1992Jul21.182002.17672@cs.yale.edu> lower-tony@CS.YALE.EDU (Tony Lower) writes:

>   A thin man with curly brown hair steps out of a patch
>of shadow that nobody had been watching.

>   "Well, I guess that's the end of lurking for me.  Hi!
>My names Manx, and this is Aloysious."  Manx gestures to
>the kitten head sticking out of his jacket pocket. "We're
>here to have fun, and like that.  Mike, a ginger ale for
>me, and a platter of milk for 'luscious-kitty, OK?"

A small white cat-sized dog approaches the pair and sniffs first at
Manx and then at Aloysious.  The kitten is nervous at first, but
realizes the dog is merely curious and sniffs back.

A small pink tongue darts out of the dog's mouth and tickles that of
the kitten.

The dog speaks.  "Welcome to Callahans!"

--Lynn
--
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?<&QY97(@=V5R92!T;R!H97)E(&%B;W5T('1H:7,A"F%P
`
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: Just for Fun!  Or, The Best Way to Start the Day!
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 21:17:52 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.162648.21360@cs.mcgill.ca>, braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca  (The Didi-Sprite) writes:
>Under the linden tree, the Didi-Sprite and Lord Galdrin, her knight-
>errant, are snuggled close together, protected from the coolness of
>the night by a cozy mohair throw of varying shades of mauve, blue and
>cream.  Over head, the full moon sinks towards the horizon and the
>stars wink out one by one as night wanes and dawn draws nigh.  A hooty
>owl hoots his last hoot before tucking his head beneath his wing in
>preparation for a long day's sleep, whilst other creatures of the 
>night hurry and scurry to their lairs before old Sol can finger them
>on their nightly sojourns.

$ SHOW LOGICAL SYS$NODE
   "SYS$NODE" = "SOL1::" (LNM$SYSTEM_TABLE)
$ FINGER BRALEY@BINKLEY.CS.MCGILL.CA
Login name: braley    	(messages off)	In real life: Bruce STACEY
Directory: /u3/mcgill/braley        	Shell: /bin/csh
On since Jul 22 15:05:49 on ttyp2 from opus-tc.CS.McGil
Mail last read Wed Jul 22 16:58:45 1992
No Plan.
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: anchovies and a filk
Date: 31 Jul 92 09:17:54 GMT
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera

In article <1992Jul30.064456.1621@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au>, telsor@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Robert Morieson) writes:
>Very much, for that, you *only* get thrown in the pool <grab>. 
>Chocolate's one of the few foods I prefer to anchovies <aim>. 
>After all, I wouldn't eat Anchovies on anything but Pizza <throw>

StM once again looks confused (it's starting to be a habit).  "Up 'til Telsor's
defection at the end there, he seemed to be making sense.  But you haven't
lived 'til you've had a liverwurst, anchovies, and cream cheese sandwich on
rye!"
From: jesse@uts.amdahl.com (Jesse Mundis)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Political Humor - Duck!
Date: 23 Jul 92 06:17:56 GMT
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

rmarsh@waikato.ac.nz writes:

>In article <1992Jul20.214900.9339@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au>, brumby@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara) writes:
>> 
>>    The brumby is well aware that this is late, but that never stopped a
>> punster!
>> 
>> telsor@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Robert Morieson) writes:
>>>ajm@wag.caltech.edu (Abner J. Mintz) writes:
>>>>A supporter of H. Ross Perot is a Perogie!
>>>Does that mean his supporters are exercising their Perotgative?
>> 
>>    The brumby ap-Perot-ches Telsor.
>>    "Such a Perot-chial attitude Telsor"
>>    The brumby rears up, executes a neat Perot-ette, and leaps away.
>> 

>  Stumpy grabs a handful of peanuts and hurls them in the Brumby's general
>direction. "I guess this thread is going to have to be known as the 'Perot
>Sketch'. There's more peanuts in this bowl so continue this campaign at
>your Perotl."
[...]
>  "Hmmm... A toast then! To puns, it has been too long since we had a round
>of 'em, the next round's on me..." Glass and peanut arc into to grate.

Ahh about time another pun thread showed up.  The last one I was in was the
frayed string classic after writing my birthday on the board.

<ahem>  Most of the Perot-chial voters liked H. Ross since he wasn't like all
those other political man-eating Perot-nahs.  He was a Perot-gon of the
community.  Some people think its a bit of a Perot-dox how a man like H. Ross
got so much support without any advertising.  Some say he was engaged in
Perot-legal activities, but I don't think so.  He was an unPerot-lleled
campaigner, and had he stayed in the race, I predict his opponents would
have been Perot-lyzed with fear.  Alas, we will never know.

Jesse sits down, and awaits the rain of peanuts, pillows, tickles, or
whatever may be incoming at this moment, and hums a catchy little tune.

"Perot, row row your boat, gently down the stream..."


-- 
    Jesse Mundis     |      Amdahl Corporation       | Freedom is just chaos
jesse@uts.amdahl.com | 1250 East Arques Ave  M/S 316 | with better lighting.
   (408) 746-4796    |   Sunnyvale,  CA 94088-3470   |    -Alan Dean Foster 

#include <Disclaimer.standard>
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Re: Strange Question
Keywords: No Way in Hell
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 03:48:36 GMT

> [Yber:] (welcome back, BTW)
>You can't get a big enough explosion.  No way.  Look at it this way (check
>my math, DM), [...] Given this, there is _no_way_ that you
>are going to get enough particles together to transmit anything.

"Sounds reasonable to me," says Danger Mouse, "no pun intended...

"But you could still manage to pile up enough matter in a shockwave to
transmit any amount of energy you like. You see, the speed of sound in a
gas is proportional to the square root of the pressure. Low pressure
means low sound speed. So the particles ejected by an explosion are almost
certainly going to be moving supersonically, and so a shockwave will
result. Shockwaves sweep up particles like a broom, so you could build up
enough density to affect something like a spaceship. I'll try to get some
numbers for you some time this afternoon."

- Danger Mouse.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: SG.MML@isumvs.iastate.edu (M. Loughin)
Subject: Re: More of Nathan being Depressed. (feel free to skip this)
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 21:30:49 GMT

In article <1992Jul27.175500.26756@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca>,
aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey) writes:
>
>"Actually, the whole speech reminds me of Star Trek.  I always get a big kick
>out of watching TNG when they're having one of those engineer conferences and
>they're throwing around all this impressive terminology.  It probably
>bamboozles some of the audience, but a fair number are probably like me, either
>giggling or just saying, 'Who do they think they're trying to fool?'
>
>"Seriously, it's quite funny, what they're really saying."

You think *that's* funny, try watching Dr. Who some time.
Particularly with Tom Baker.  I think that show is the
originator of Calvin and Hobbs' technology.

--Marie
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pierce@spop.navo.navy.mil (Jim M. Pierce)
Subject: Re: A return
Nntp-Posting-Host-[nntpd-8235]: spop.navo.navy.mil
Reply-To: pierce@navo.navy.mil (Jim M. Pierce)
Organization: POPS Operations I/O Operator
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 16:24:41 GMT

In article <Bs0577.Anq@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski) writes:
|> "speaker...i honestly have been driving my doctors NUTS for
|> months...ask didi and nick chopper, who have heard the whole long sad
|> story.... i have been tested...for diabetes, hypoglycemia, lupus,
|> thyroid/liver/kidney problems...had a sonogram, proctoscope and colon
|> xray...and a uterine biopsy to PROVE i am not going through
|> menopause... accordind to ALL these tests there is NOTHING wrong with
|> me.  but...my hormones are screwed up...(2 periods since january
|> 1st...both induced by hormones)...i have the classic symptoms of
|> hypoglycemia... i have had trouble with my joints swelling and fluid
|> retention ... and i have felt lousy off and on for a year.
|> 
|> i have an appointment with a dietician tomorrow...and i shrink in
|> early august...and i got one of my medicine's changed (i read in a
|> women's magazine that naprosyn--which i have been taking for a couple
|> of years--can cause depression, confusion, paranoia....!--and told my
|> doctor so she changed it...) and found out that i have been taking
|> another one WRONG...because i was taking it the way it said to take it
|> on the bottle....
|> 
|> you are not getting tiresome at all StM...and i appreciate your
|> concern... and i will let you know if i ever find out that my raging
|> hypochondria is more than that :)."  
 
     Hmm. How about trace elements ? When I had to give up certain foods,
  I had to take vitimins that supplimented my trace element intake.
-- 
jmpierce%usmcp6.bitnet@vm.tcs.tulane.edu <- guaranteed there Wed. only !
Disclaimer: Standard. Recent Album: Muddy Waters:Muddy Waters Live
From: gardner@hale.ifa.hawaii.edu (Jonathan Gardner)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Yet another sleepless night
Date: 28 Jul 92 05:18:16 GMT
Organization: Institute for Astronomy, Hawaii

In article <1992Jul27.170404.20562@morrow.stanford.edu> HF.TXG@forsythe.stanford.edu (TJ) writes:
>In article <1992Jul26.004152.18761@news.Hawaii.Edu>,
>>
>>"TJ, I'd like a root beer. (I don't trust the milk in this place
>>anymore. :-) And I'll take a set of those hugs and kisses if I may."
>>
>><<<HUG>>>   <<<KISS>>>
>>
>>The Space Cadet
>
>"'kay, Mike, one root beer for the Space Cadet and I think I'll have
>Pepsi (it's the choice for the new generation, don't ya know). Oh,
>and don't mind us, Spacey and I are going to snuzzle a bit"
>
>*SNUZZLE* *SNUZZLE* *SNUZZLE* *SNUZZLE* *SNUZZLE* *SNUZZLE*

The Space Cadet looks slightly miffed as TJ turns away from him and
starts to snuzzle Spacey. He begins to think aloud, in the manner of
people in comic strips and A.C.

<<Hmmm, should I be insulted? No, TJ and Spacey are two of my favorite
Callahanians. (But see note*). Besides, this could be fun to watch.>>

He thinks again, 

<<But maybe TJ is getting us confused and doesn't know who she is
snuzzling? It is true that Spacey and I live on the same island, attend
the same university, and even, technically, are in the same department,
although our offices are in different buildings. But she and I are
different people, we didn't meet until I came in here, and we thought
up our names independently. (Must be something in the water. :-) Should
I introduce them?>>

He looks, and sees that the snuzzling is continuing.

<<No, they seem to be introduced. Maybe they will let me join in for a 
snuzzle a trois?>>

He waits patiently, sipping his root beer, for a break in the action.

<<They have to come up for air sometime.>>

>
>TJ

The Space Cadet

(*NOTE: My list of favorite Callahanians is a _long_ list. :-)
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jon Gardner                                gardner@hale.ifa.hawaii.edu
Institute for Astronomy                           University of Hawaii
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: J.Cheetham@bra0110.wins.icl.co.uk
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Big ears lurking in the background
Date: 23 Jul 92 07:54:19 GMT







         The Wumpus reappears in a corner, and looks at the brumby, visible 
         through a hail of peanuts ...
         
         "Wumpus Womb? I hereby take this opportunity to point out that I 
         have never been to the Antipodes, and it couldn't have been me ...
         
         Grinning devilishly, the Wumpus ambles up to the bar and gets a 
         drink.
         
         "Looks like my newsfeed is springing into life again ... so I can 
         turn back in to a real lurker again instead of a deaf and blind 
         lurker ...
         
         -jim, The Wumpus
         <jim@oasis.icl.co.uk> once more, and still 
         <J.Cheetham@bra0116.wins.icl.co.uk> ...

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jhitch@crash.cts.com (Jeffrey Hitchin)
Subject: Re: a really silly post
Organization: Crash TimeSharing, El Cajon, CA
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 03:28:08 GMT

The Nightstalker's sig says:
>THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROGNOSIS: Love is a form of temporary insanity
>curable only by marraige.

	Grant laughs.  "Oh, I don't know about that, Stalkie-baby!
Have you ever seen some newlyweds?

	'I love you sooooooooooooo much, Lydia.'

	'I love you more, Tom.'
	
	'Oh, you're so special, Lydia.'

	'No, YOU'RE special.'"

	Grant starts singing:

"I - I don't - I don't believe
I don't believe it one bit.
Her grin shows a bit too much teeth,
his smile stays on a little to long.
Wrong, Wrong....

Now look at these couples,
now she is so fatuous
he is so unctuous
I don't know how they achieve it,
but I don't believe it one BIT!"

	"I apologize for cuts in the song, but I can't remember what
show it's from.  Nice song, tho'"

Newsgroups: alt.callahans