HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Date: 18 Dec 92 17:07:45 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Dec17.232346.1980@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
>In article <15965@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
|>If you get a Christmas present from someone this year will you offer to
|>contribute to the cost of the present?  No, of course you won't.  That's
|>because it's a gift.  Think about it.
|
|I'll answer this.  No, I won't offer to contribute to the cost of the
|present.  However, I don't expect that because it is Christmas, I
|should get a present.  This is the attitude that I am objecting to
|here, that someone is entitled to a certain type of treatment because
|of their gender, or mine, or because of tradition.  It also has been
|my unfortunate experience that women who were unwilling to contribute
|to the cost of a date also felt entitled to be spent money on because
|they were female, I was male, and tradition said that was what should
|be done.  I admit that it was wrong for me to generalize that someone
|who would not chip in on a date has no consideration for my feelings.
 
Sigh.  You still don't get it.  The key word there is "gift".  Perhaps
a Christmas present was a poor example.  Again, the key word is gift.
It has nothing to do with gender.  It has nothing to do with tradition.

I give up.

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: Giving and Receiving
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 21:40:07 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <c*51Hx=7fb@atlantis.psu.edu> R9S@ECL.PSU.EDU (Roberto G Sung) writes:

>Hi, everyone, i'm new to this group, although sometimes i lurk around
>when my schedule allows. just a quick question: what exactly means
>"serendipity". i've seen this word a few times lately. is it part of
>the neology? thanks

soc.singles uses the regulation English dictionary, available at any
bookseller, and a small appendix peculiar to the group that contains
the errata.  Try the dictionary first, and the FAQ next for new words.

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"Sometimes it feels like the sun just comes up out of habit,
 And goes down as quick as it can,
 These days, you just have to grab it as it goes by."
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder)
Subject: Re: Nice Guys
Organization: Brookhaven National Laboratory, Upton, NY 11973
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 20:13:48 GMT

In article <75375@apple.apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>daniel@clsi.COM (Daniel S. Barclay) writes:

>>I missed the beginning of this.  When do I want to make sure I don't offer a 
>>backrub?

On the "Nuclear Streak Machine", world's fastest roller coaster.


-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gary L. Schroeder  		|  If this .sig causes dizziness or  
schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov         |  vertigo, dicontinue use and consult    
Brookhaven National Laboratory  |  your physician. 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: larry@b8.b8.ingr.com (Larry Billings)
Subject: Re: What is gold-digging?
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 17:51:15 GMT

In article <33@jptcs.COM>, tps@jptcs.COM (Tim Sailer) writes:
> 
> Well, *I* like to open doors, etc. for women... I was raised to believe
> that things like that were just 'Manners'. Now, if we're just running
> around, you get your own car door, but if we're out, and you're wearing
> a skirt/dress, I'll ALWAYS get the car door so you can get in the car
> easily without you hemline ending up around your waist, or closing the
> door on your coat/dress/skirt.... As for opening the door to a building
> for someone, I'll always hold the door for the person behind me, regardless
> of who/what gender they are, and then follow them in. I know... so I'm
> strange.... I can deal with it! :)
> 
> Tim
> -- 

You may be strange but not entitely unique, I've been there-done that.

Larry
From: jsp@uts.amdahl.com (James Preston)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What is gold-digging?
Date: 18 Dec 92 20:10:03 GMT
Reply-To: jsp@pls.amdahl.com
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (Piglet) writes:

}In article <47ri039qc4CW00@amdahl.uts.amdahl.com> jsp@pls.amdahl.com writes:
}>Ah, maybe this is my problem; I've never been the one who didn't ask (I
}>mean for a first date, that is).  Hey Piglet, do you know any women in
}>this area?

}Er, what area would that be?  Could be.  But do you really think
}I'd share?

The great valley of Santa Clara, CA (said with tongue firmly planted
in cheek).  But what's this "share" question?  Aren't you the one who
said, "Piglet, working to increase the numbers of women.asking.men.out"?
What was that, just hot air?

}Piglet  <I suppose, if you ask nicely, and don't forget the
}         blow job--unlike Muffy, I _don't_ get off with a kiss...
}         ok, so sometimes...._definitely_ wrong newsgroup...>

Drop on by anytime, but I gotta warn you; I"m very good.

--James Preston

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller)
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 05:48:45 GMT

In article <16016@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>In article <1992Dec18.195706.15527@netcom.com> shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller) writes:
>
>|I feel that having another couple join them without having told Jane
>|is rude.  I've had that happen before, and was very uncomfortable with it.
>
>I won't comment on anything else in this article other than this because
>I've pretty much said my piece and don't really have anything to add.
>
>In any case, just a couple of weeks ago I asked someone out to
>dinner and then invited ba.singles to join us?  You didn't seem very 
>uncomfortable then?  OK, I did tell Debra before about inviting ba.singles
>to join us but she didn't mind.

As I recall, you told me that you had told her we were being invited,
before I accepted the invitation.

The part that is important here is "without having told".  Had I thought
that you were springing a bunch of other couples on Debra without her
knowledge, I would not have attended.

I don't have anything against group dinners, having personally hosted
something like 120 of them.  I just have a problem with springing that
on someone who thinks we're dining tete-a-tete.

If you disagree with me, why did you bother to tell Debra beforehand?

-- 
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*
Teri Miller                    tmiller@cisco.com -or- shannah@netcom.com
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: lkahn@mitre.org (Larry Kahn)
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 19:46:04 GMT

crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:

>If a man asks me out, and I don't know him very well, I assume he's
>paying.  If he doesn't, he's got no class whatsoever, IMO.  Frankly, it
>hasn't happened to me (though it did happen to a friend of mine).  
>

I will be ever so glad when all this "traditional" stuff goes by the 
wayside and things like this are approached more equally and fairly regardless of gender.  
Seems to me it shouldn't matter who asks who, you both want to spend time 
together.  IMHO the truly objective approach would be to split it up 
approximately according to income.  Not that I think you have to go into 
great details, but if one person is an attorney (ugh) and one is a teacher 
something like a 75-25 split might be in order.
And another thing, why do women expect you to open the car door for them just because they're female?  If there's a good reason (like you're carrying a pizza or physically unable to, sure I'd do it (for a man also)), but I don't think women should be treated THAT differently just because they're women.

  **SHIELDS UP**  Incoming flames!!

   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
   | Larry Kahn                       |                                  |
   | The MITRE Corporation            |   BE REASONABLE. DO IT MY WAY.   |
   | lkahn@mitre.org                  |                                  |
   |---------------------------------------------------------------------|
   |  These opinions may not coincide with my employer's (not that they  |
   |  pay any attention to an insignificant lackey like me, anyhow).     |
   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ericjohn@sal-sun65.usc.edu (Eric Johnson)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Where's Ms Wright?
Date: 12 Dec 1992 23:53:09 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: sal-sun65.usc.edu


In article <1g9id2INNgau@hydra.Helsinki.FI>, taina@cs.Helsinki.FI (Juha Taina) writes:
|> In <1g5qqfINN8la@sal-sun96.usc.edu> ericjohn@sal-sun96.usc.edu (Eric Johnson) writes:
|> >I attribute part of my success in finding desirable women on my trip
|> >to the fact that I met a large number of travellers (as opposed to 
|> >tourists), and there is a positive corelation with that and some of
|> >the mental characteristics I'm looking for.
|> 
|> Perhaps you would meet nice American women if you travelled in the U.S.
|> 
|> -- 
|> Juha Taina  taina@cs.helsinki.fi  Phone: +358-0-708-4247

Perhaps, but I'm rather sick of meeting women with whom I could have a
passionate postal relationship with, and little more. I'm not really
into phone sex (though, to be honest, I've never really given it a 
chance ;-)) and it can get rather expensive to commute... sigh.
-- 
Eric Johnson		Remember, It's good to keep an open mind, 
ISX Corp.		but not so open that your brains fall out...
(818)706-2020
ericjohn@usc.edu
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 16:49:10 EST
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re:

In article <7913@news.duke.edu>, diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) says:
>
>This was meant to be a joke, but after reading it again I think I'll stand
>by it, if I can amend it to include the whole human race and not just the
>male half.  My friend said it because I was complaining that some male
>in whom I was interested just wasn't getting the idea.  (If I recall the
>context correctly, I had asked this person out a number of times, he
>usually said yes, we went out to all kinds of places... but somehow the
>relationship just didn't get past that point).
>
>What he MEANT was, that although I was complaining that this male was
>being overcautious, hesitant, afraid to take my signals at face value
>(i.e. "clueless"), the alternative would have been for him to be
>overconfident,
>pushy, ready to take ambiguous signals as clearcut signs to move in for the
>kill (i.e. an "asshole").   There's really only one third alternative,
>"mindreader", and they don't come along very often.  Moreover, it made me
>aware that I was doing exactly the same thing; trying to use ambiguous
>non-verbal signals to determine whether my interest was returned, and
>analyzing those signals in the most pessimistic way possible because that
>method offered the least chance of offending the other person and/or getting
>my ego blown out of the water.
>
>                                --Diamond
>
>diamond@acpub.duke.edu| We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn
>Elizabeth S. Abrams   | them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress
>                      | but the memory of the smell of smoke, and the
>                      | presumption that once our eyes watered. -Tom Stoppard

The only real difference between telepathy and talking is that to talk,
ya gotta move your tounge.

The third alternative that does not involve having vulcan genes is to
take risks in small stages, to by-Macha's-hooves really *listen*, and
to be very open and straightforward about your objectives.

Oh - and to recognize the right of the other person to be completely
indifferent to your objectives.

Scary thing is, this is a)less painful and b)much easier than mindreading,
cluelessness, or asholic behaviours.  Less collateral damage, too.

Graydon

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: margoli@watson.ibm.com (Larry Margolis)
Subject: Re: New Relationships...
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 03:43:42 GMT
Distribution: usa
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.16e by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: margoli@watson.IBM.com
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: The Village Waterbed

In <oneil.724227891@cwis> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
>
>How important /is/ sex to a relationship?

I'd rank it right up there with breathing.

I figure that if she can go for hours, or even days, on end without sex, then
we're just not compatible.
--
Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
From: jsp@uts.amdahl.com (James Preston)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Date: 18 Dec 92 19:00:28 GMT
Reply-To: jsp@pls.amdahl.com
Distribution: usa
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:

}I DO ASK MEN OUT!  IdoIdoIdo.  Really.  Truly.  

}I had to listen to a male friend bitching about this last night, and I
}never know quite what to say.  I mean, *I* ask men out, so what more am
}I supposed to do about it?

Take each of your single women friends in turn, put a gun to her head
and force her to call up a man and ask him out.  Sheesh, some people
ask the silliest questions.

--James Preston
From: exudtn@exu.ericsson.se (Derek Nelson)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Women: would you go out with a man dum
Date: 17 Dec 92 20:13:12 GMT
Reply-To: exudtn@exu.ericsson.se
Organization: Ericsson Network Systems, Inc.
X-Disclaimer: This article was posted by a user at Ericsson.
              Any opinions expressed are strictly those of the
              user and not necessarily those of Ericsson.

>>In article <1992Dec16.172504.29957@cbnews.cb.att.com> eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (eleanor.j.evans) writes:
>>
>>   I have to.

>In article 92Dec16200914@hatteras.cs.unc.edu, martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) >writes:
>
>No you don't.


Yes, she does if and only if, she is smarter than every man on the planet. Which
may or may not be the case depending on your point of view. :-) 

Derek
From: dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Bad Timing
Date: 14 Dec 1992 19:45:19 GMT
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com

In article <MARTINC.92Dec11220914@hatteras.cs.unc.edu>, martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
> 
> Unfortunately, this is a pretty good description of why the "addictive
> substance as locus of problem" breaks down.  What Dawn describes is
> considered perfectly normal behavior, so long as the passionate person
> is young and (preferably) female.  Drinking to excess is considered
> perfectly normal behavior so long as you're male and doing it at night
> on an expense account in Japan.  Shopaholics are doing a perfectly
> normal part of their day to day life, as are workaholics.
> 
> (We have to make some allowance for the things that product a real
> physical change that is addicting, like opiates.  Craving for morphine
> or heroin is a real physical thing, that can be demonstrated to have a
> physiological basis, and is shared with other organisms.  But even then,
> people who become addicted to something like this through medical
> treatment often have no big problem breaking the craving, nothing like
> the long term problems others have.)

I once read a study (another infamous net study reference, where I have
no clue where I read it or whether it was any good, except that it was
in a really cool book that had some neat things about homosexuality in
prison in it as well) that suggested that the physical component of 
even a heroin addiction is relatively unimportant.  They looked at
people who smoked cheap heroin while they were serving in Vietnam, 
who later had no trouble at all quitting when they returned to America.
They went through the withdrawal pains with a little bit of medical help
and then never took heroin again.  When interviewed, they said "Why should
we take it when we don't need it anymore?"  Obviously, not everyone who 
took heroin in Vietnam got out of it so easily, but the rates of later 
addiction were much lower than anticipated.

Dawn

Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved.
"Folk Song" by Bongwater
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ftlao@acad3.alaska.edu (OSSANDER LINDA A)
Subject: Re: Women, Cats, & Chocolate
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41.UAC
Organization: University of Alaska - Fairbanks
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 01:02:00 GMT

In article <thurlow.724803305@convex.convex.com>, thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow) writes...
>In <2b2f8fc6-28d5.16soc.singles-1@vpnet.chi.il.us> akcs.lilmurph@vpnet.chi.il.us (Kerry Lynn Murphy) writes:
> 
>>is this as interesting as the singles can get!!!!  I'm glad I have a
>>boyfriend!!
> 
>By all means don't let the door hit you on the ass as you leave.
> 
>Rob T
>-

Hi I am new to this group. ;-)  Just wanted to say: "Rob" You are the kind of
man I stay away from.  Grin..I was married to one that sounds like you for
nearly 20 years.  I would prefur to be alone.  Have a nice day!

                        -Linda-
From: martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Women: would you go out with a man dum
Date: 19 Dec 92 19:17:01 GMT
	<1992Dec17.201312.2999@exu.ericsson.se>
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: exudtn@exu.ericsson.se's message of 17 Dec 92 20:13:12 GMT

In article <1992Dec17.201312.2999@exu.ericsson.se> exudtn@exu.ericsson.se (Derek Nelson) writes:

   >>In article <1992Dec16.172504.29957@cbnews.cb.att.com> eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (eleanor.j.evans) writes:
   >>
   >>   I have to.

   >In article 92Dec16200914@hatteras.cs.unc.edu, martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) >writes:
   >
   >No you don't.


   Yes, she does if and only if, she is smarter than every man on the
   planet. Which may or may not be the case depending on your point of
   view. :-)

Oh very good.  Yes, you're right, that's what she was implying.  Now
   what was *I* implying.


Sheesh.
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women,soc.men,ba.singles
From: bhv@areaplg2.corp.mot.com (Bronis Vidugiris)
Subject: Re: Pre-Sex Contract 
Organization: Motorola, CCR&D, CORP, Schaumburg, IL
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 13:15:55 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.073753.27294@netcom.com> rohwerwd@netcom.com (Mr. Tickle Monster) writes:
)In article <1992Dec15.163407.5960@netcom.com> desiree@netcom.com (Desiree Champagne) writes:

)>	You're a sanctimonious prig. And don't give me this drivel about
)>that being an ad hom attack.
)>
)
)     No, not at all.  I just have high standards for myself and others
)which apparently you do not have.

Don't give up so easily!  There's definitely a very slim chance that
Desiree *might* realize that her entire posting is very little *but* one
giant ad-hominem attack if you wait for her to calm down a bit.  [I wouldn't
count on it much, but it's a possibility.]
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Date: 19 Dec 92 19:11:07 GMT
	<1992Dec16.212122.17026@cbnews.cb.att.com> <8103@news.duke.edu>
Distribution: usa
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: diamond@acpub.duke.edu's message of 17 Dec 92 18:49:11 GMT

In article <8103@news.duke.edu> diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:

   In article <1992Dec16.212122.17026@cbnews.cb.att.com> eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (Piglet) writes:
   >
   >No, silly, you ask them out to the Golden Arches Supper Club.  Or to
   >a free activity--like a concert or a walk in the park...  
   >
   >Piglet, working to increase the numbers of women.asking.men.out

   I DO ASK MEN OUT!  IdoIdoIdo.  Really.  Truly.  

She does, she does, she does, really.

Oh, and the dinner at Wendy's was lovely.
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: scott@soldev.tti.com (Scott Taylor)
Subject: What would you do if...
Organization: Transaction Technology, Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 21:56:03 GMT

I have a question that you folks might be able to shed some
light on. I am certain that there is no single correct answer
to this one, but I am curious to hear what others think.

First a little background. I have been seeing a woman for 
about 6 months now, who is really a great person. We have had
some really fun times together and really enjoy each others
company. I am not in love with her, nor is she in love with
me, but we really enjoy being together.

About a month ago I met someone else, whom I now also date.
They both know about each other and are free to ask me 
anything about one another. I thought that I could make this
work, since I am completely honest about the extent of
the relationships. However, it seems like they are now trying
to compete for my time and attention. I think of it as a kind
of jealousy, and it is not appealing to me.

I don't want to dump either one of them, as I get a lot of
enjoyment from each of their company. I have tried to discuss
this with both of them and they both deny that there is a 
problem.

Any Thoughts?


Scott Taylor, Citicorp/TTI
pyramid!ttidca!scott
(310) 450-9111 x2321