HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: liz@prc.unisys.com (Liz Loquacious)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Desperation (was Re: Commitment--The C-word?)
Date: 1 Sep 92 19:55:43 GMT
Followup-To: soc.singles
Organization: Paramax Systems

In article <1992Sep1.175115.20378@news.acns.nwu.edu>, drmax@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Marianna Max) writes:
|> >
|> I guess I differentiate between needing and wanting. I can want my lover's
|> attention like mad, but still not need it. Just because something is not
|> needed does not make it unimportant. I don't need a mate to feel like my
|> life is worthwhile but the mate in my life is very important to me. I like
|> to reduce my needs to a minimum, gives me that much more time to enjoy the
|> things that I want.
|> 
|> I am leery of men who "need" to have a girlfriend, any girlfriend and value
|> men who want to be with me. So is this some artificial distinction or does
|> this make sense to anyone else.

Makes perfect sense to me.  Where you talk about reducing your needs to a
minimum I'd say I do that by fulfilling them and for those unmet needs from
the past which can be the force driving our desperation, those I minimize by
accepting and grieving them and again doing what I can to get my needs met
in the present.  Doing that and even without a romantic relationship I feel
I've got a worthwhile and happy life overall.  I'd prefer to
have a relationship with someone special and that would have to be someone
who especially wants me in their life, not just anyone, but I have a pretty
fulfilling life right now too and I think it's a healthier place to be when
approaching the idea of getting into a relationship and for maintaining it.
It'd always be an important part of my life but I could enjoy my life without
it- and that's not said coldly.  So I also make that distinction between
needing and wanting.

Liz Loquacious
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: Ross Ridge <ross@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Organization: ZOOiD BBS
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 21:07:02 GMT

Ross Ridge <ross@zooid.guild.org> writes:
>Be wary of prenuptial agreements, they aren't always binding in all
>circumstances.  For example in Ontario the "house" is always split
>equally between both parties, no matter what the couple agreed on
>before hand.

fredw@mks.com (Fred Walter) writes:
>Even if one party owned the house before the marriage ?

If it's the "matrimonial home", the principle residence during the
marriage, it will be split equally.  But if it's a cottage, investment
property, or something like that then this rule doesn't apply.

							Ross Ridge

>	fred "Guess who was thinking about buying a house" walter
>-- 
>Disclaimer: everything I write is my *personal* opinion and does not represent
>or reflect the opinion of the company which employs me.


-- 
Ross Ridge - The Great HTMU					     l/	 //
								    [OO][oo]
ross@zooid.guild.org						    /()\/()/
uunet.ca!zooid!ross						     db	 //
From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What knockers!  Crreak.
Date: 4 Sep 92 13:56:24 GMT
	<1992Sep3.071901.7583@zooid.guild.org>
	<1992Sep4.052547.12561@samba.oit.unc.edu>
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: Bathsheba.Grossman@bbs.oit.unc.edu's message of 4 Sep 92 05:25:47 GMT

Vhy, T'ank you, Doctor!

Seriously, Sheeb, the Way It Is Done is to hold the door and smile
pleasantly as the other person thanks you for being considerate.  This
means not throwing the door open so the other person can catch it.  If
you can't handle it, then drop your damn books.

(P.S.  I'm not dead yet.)
--
Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu/(ne crm@cs.duke.edu) 
O/Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
H/3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"I am he who walks the States with a barb'd tongue, questioning every
one I meet,/Who are you that wanted only to be told what you knew
before?/ Who are you that wanted only a book to join you in your
nonsense?"  _Leaves of Grass_ xxiii.4.
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Powerful forces of nature conspire
Date: 28 Aug 92 19:04:20 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Mark (markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu) wrote:
: 
:    Oh Lord.  Thank you for conspiring to make this, the first day of in-person
: registration at a University with one of the largest coed student populations in
: the nation, a sweltering hot day.  I will never again ask for anything again.
: My life is truly fulfilled. :)

But are the coeds?
-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: >>>>>Kiran Wagle
Date: 27 Aug 92 20:08:18 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

Kiran,

Since the thread with your name on it has now obtained five >s, it is my
distinct pleasure to inform you that you are no longer a mere net.deity.
You are now a net.goddess.

--
Stef                A man said to the universe:
stef@apple.com             "Sir, I exist!"
                    "However," replied the universe,
                    "The fact has not created in me
                    A sense of obligation."   --Stephen Crane
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Las Vegas
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 08:23:46 GMT

wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien) writes:
>Sure!  The closer you get to the Houghton area, the better.  Bonus points
>for McClean's Park, that'd put you within two miles.  :-)

I was in Houghton a couple years ago, stayed at McLean.  Beautiful
country.  Great cinnamon rolls at the Hilltop in L'Anse, and of
course, pasties at Suomi.  And for bridge lovers, the largest lift
bridge ever, i think.

 
-- 
Kiran Wagle     <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>     (812) 335-0420
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Cooking for 1!
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 05:49:15 GMT

lana@magenta.corp.sgi.com (Lana Mountford) writes:
>everything comes out at the right time -- these are preludes to the
>*real* fun!  I select the wine, get 1 extra bottle of it, and start

*laugh* The Galloping Gourmet used to say, A splash of wine for the
pot, a swig for the cook and was quite drunk by the end of the
taping.  He eventually, I think, developed a drinking problem.  So I
hear anyway, this was before my time.  

But a friend did see Julia Child drop the goose...

-- 
FUZZY PINK NIVEN'S LAW:  Never Waste Calories.  Potato chips, candy,
whipped cream, or hot fudge sundae consumption may involve you, your
dietician, your wardrobe, and other factors.  But Fuzzy Pink's Law
implies: Don't eat soggy potato chips, or cheap candy, or fake whipped
cream, or an inferior hot fudge sundae.
                Larry Niven, NIVEN'S LAWS, N-SPACE
-- 
Kiran Wagle     <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>     (812) 335-0420
From: ewasdih@state.systems.sa.gov.au (Don Healey)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Help with business card appeal
Date: 4 Sep 92 06:44:48 GMT
Organization: State Systems, South Australia

I have now received the information I was after, and I am sending it on to the
appropriate people.

Thanks James and Diana.
-- 
Don Healey        ewasdih@state.sa.gov.au
Engineering & Water Supply Dept.
South Australia   +61 8 226 2216
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: walter (Walter Lego)
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Followup-To: soc.singles
Reply-To: nobody
Organization: Twisted Pair Inc.
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 92 19:38:06 GMT

In article <1992Aug25.172028.9358@cs.wisc.edu> rawdon@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu writes:
>In <1992Aug25.154006.23144@walter.bellcore.com> walter (Walter Lego) writes:
>
>>Given that a common denominator with Nancy and Lana who have similar views
>>of independence is their prior bad experience with a relationship, is it
>>possible that women that haven't gone through that same experience may still
>>wish to compromise more than they should?
>
>It is possible.  Can you provide a rationale for why this would happen in,
>say, the cases Rick has encountered and not in, say, the cases that I have
>encountered?  (I tend to meet far more women with strong self-identities than
>otherwise.)

Just turn around Nancy's argument. Perhaps, it is *you* that is the cause of
meeting (i.e., noticing) far more individualistic women than moldable ones.
Perhaps, you subconsciously ignore women that don't assert themselves.
Argument works both ways, doesn't it?

>
>>>Don't blame all women, Rich.  Blame your choices and start making smarter
>>>ones.
>
>>I presume you are not speaking for all women.
>
>I don't believe she said that she was.  Far from it.

She didn't say it. But when she asserts that it is Rich's problem that
he makes such choices, she is indeed assuming that she knows what the majority
of the women are like or at least what the majority of women where Rich lives
are like.

Unless, she is speaking for all women, her personal observations are
not any more or less valid than Rich's.

						Walter

What disclaimer?
From: jm0i@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JOSEPH ALOYSIUS MCVEIGH)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Endless Loop?
Date: 3 Sep 92 00:14:34 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

What's going on? Look at this:

stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>Matt, you needn't give in so easy. We know that what you wrote really
>wasn't a suckup.  I mean, you didn't use the word 'perky' even once.

Stef, you're sucking up to Matt here, presumably because he sucked up to you.

Where will this end?
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph Aloysius McVeigh | "As an advocate of reason, egoism and capitalism,
jm0i@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu  |  I seek to reach the men of the intellect - wherever
      "N.I.N.A."        |  such may still be found."                [Ayn Rand]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: enigma@halcyon.com (Matt Luders)
Subject: Re: Mea Non Culpa
Keywords: Latin and Greek
Organization: The 23:00 News and Mail Service
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 20:41:49 GMT

I wrote:

>"Was this the face that launched a thousand ships,
> and burnt the topless towers of Ilium?

Trygve writes (to Stef):

>perhaps your kisses just rate "Magma cum laude" ...
>this thing about charring people's hip bones worries me just a bit.

 Very clever!  You have an impressive knowledge of anatomy Trygve,
 but Ilium is also the Latin name for Troy.

 But you knew that already.  :-)

Matt
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Cooking for 1!
Date: 3 Sep 92 00:03:50 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

: This, to me, is probably the second worst thing about not being in a
: relationship.  I --++**LOVE**++-- to cook, have a fairly substantial 
: cookbook collection, and live near some incredible fresh goodies
: (fish, veggies, etc.).  I entertain about one weekend a month (small
: dinner parties, mostly), and that's fun.  The rest of the time, I cook
: and freeze a lot.  At least, I have the chance to experiment on my own.

Why don't I ever find people who love to cook?  I don't really mind cooking
per se, but after 8-10 hours at work, I certainly don't want to spend an
hour cooking.  I'd rather sit here and read soc.singles :-)

Besides, I never seem to have the correct ingredients to make anything
interesting.  I know, forsight and planning.  Well, maybe next life :-)
-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Lurkers...
Date: 4 Sep 92 01:17:29 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Sep3.155306.3900@desire.wright.edu> wall@hel4.brl.mil (Jeff Wall) writes:
 
|Well, Hello!!!  After lurking for three weeks and reading all the letters about
|lurkers here I am.

Welcome.  Now that you've had a proper welcome let me proceed by saying that
I think your article is full of bovine fecal matter, and that  ...oh sorry
I got carried away.   What I meant to say is I'd like to comment on your 
article.

|I would like to say that during my three weeks of reading
|this group I can see why people don't post.  It is a lot of fun to read and the
|volume is, um, .... intimidating(?), to say the least.  I have been hard
|pressed to read all the postings and the only other group I read is rec.scuba
|(any divers out there?).
 
How many times have we seen this?  No, not the rec.scuba part, the "I have been
hard pressed to read all the postings" part.  I doubt very much if anyone,
except maybe....(nah,  I'll be nice),  reads "all the postings".  You have
to be very selective.  If you find something that doesn't look interesting
at first glance, toss it out the window (or use the "n" or "k" keys) as fast
as Diamond is going to drop us when she meets someone from the University.  
Read anything by james.dutton and Anglewing, especially the cute little
sayings she puts next to her signature.

One more bit of advice. Kiran is a man.  O.K.  We've all asked Trygve how
he pronounces his name (where's that guy with the FAQ), but some of us
probably don't how Kiran pronounces his name.  Kiran?

>Jeff Wall
>wall@hel4.brl.mil
               ^^^
Hmm. Maybe that explains the wierdness in the news software.


-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira     | Auspex Systems | "Auspex does not share my opinions.  |
| johnf@auspex.com | Santa Clara CA |  So Why am I still working here?"    |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: Powerful forces of nature conspire
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 13:04:16 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <4083@moscom.UUCP> wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien) writes:

>Emma Williams (ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie) wrote:

>: 	12 inches,huh?  Wow, that could be a great snowman! :>

>I thought size wasn't important? :-)  

I've never heard this, you know.  I guess that's what they tell all
the small guys :-)

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
Across the evening sky, all the birds are leaving
But how can they know it's time for them to go?		- Sandy Denny
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Lurkers...
From: wall@hel4.brl.mil (Jeff Wall)
Date: 3 Sep 92 15:53:05 EST
Distribution: world
Organization: U.S. Army Human Engineering Lab  Aberdeen, MD

In article <0qkgqB6w165w@wildrose.infoserv.com> rkf@wildrose.infoserv.com (Ray
Fink) writes:
>Another reason for lurking, that I haven't seen anybody mention yet:
>
>Some organizations have newsfeeds that are "for official purposes only",
>and the existence of non-technical groups is tolerated under the
>tacit agreement of "we don't post here".  I know of some companies
>where read-only is standard even in technical groups.  (And no, I 
>didn't say fascist or stone-age.  Nobody here but us chickens, boss!)
>Given some companies' policies against use of company computers for
>personal activities, even *reading* soc.singles might be a risk.
>
>Lawyers can be a problem, too (heh, do I get the Understatement Award?).
>When my employer's legal dept. found out about the Net, the price we
>paid for continued Net access was an obnoxious 15-line disclaimer 
>tacked on the end of all posts.  A major waste of bandwidth, and 
>particularly obnoxious in a social discussion.  Life was so much
>easier when we were UUCP outlaws :-)
>
>Speaking for myself, I've been on the Net for six or seven years,
>reading and occasionally posting in technical newsgroups.  I've been
>lurking in soc.singles for about 3 years, and it wasn't till I got a 
>private feed for my home system that I started posting here.

Then there are those of us who don't have a news feed even though we have a
huge computer to host it on :-(.  I have been lurking for about three weeks
because I could not post an article.  Lets just say I have a wierd news setup.

Well, Hello!!!  After lurking for three weeks and reading all the letters about
lurkers here I am.  I would like to say that during my three weeks of reading
this group I can see why people don't post.  It is a lot of fun to read and the
volume is, um, .... intimidating(?), to say the least.  I have been hard
pressed to read all the postings and the only other group I read is rec.scuba
(any divers out there?).

Jeff Wall
wall@hel4.brl.mil


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: liz@prc.unisys.com (Liz Loquacious)
Subject: Re: Seesters, I want the seesters.
Followup-To: soc.singles 
Organization: Paramax Systems
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 15:51:28 GMT

In article <1992Sep1.124829.19448@cbfsb.cb.att.com>, jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton) writes:
|>  
|>  Oh sure lead the guy around(as if a ring in the nose). Over hill,
|> through yonder trail, up over the log, swim that damn, lift that barge,
|> and right at the climax(its a literature term) of the story - Wham, Bam,
|> gotta go, hasta, chow, exit stage left, I'm outta here even.

Well James, it's just that you're sounding so, uh, desperate.  I mean all that
and you haven't even set your eyes on, slipped your arms around, lowered your
lips to (lower, lower puhleeze James)...maybe I was a bit hasty, let me see
you said something about "climax" up there....oh schucks, just a figure of
speech.  Never mind.

|> It's no wonder guys are(shhhh) S-E-N-S-I-T-I-V-E.

Well, if you ever want to talk...I'll be there as a friend for you...
And if you change your mind about that literature term... ;-)

Liz Loquacious - broken hearted once again
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Las Vegas
Date: 26 Aug 92 20:19:50 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Cindy Glass (cfg@cray.com) wrote:
: I don't consider Tahoe "the woods".  I consider Northern Michigan, Northern
: Wisconsin, Northern Minnesota,  Northern Georgia, somewhere into the reaches 
: of Ontario or Manitoba - "the woods".  Where people only 'usually' go in the 
: summer - camp, hike, fish, maybe water ski, sometimes to kick back - watch a 
: sunset over a lake  - listen to the night sounds.  Where the tourists 'usually'
: retreat from and to their asphalt jungles in the autumn and winter.

Um... Northern Georgia?  I'm from Northern Michigan, though.  I miss it.  Lots.
If I could just figure out how to do everything I do via modem... or internet...
or... hmmm... got to be a way :-)
 
: Cindy (*sigh* dreaming again!)

Bill (missing Lake Superior)
-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Powerful forces of nature conspire
Date: 2 Sep 92 22:12:42 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Emma Williams (ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie) wrote:
: 	Well, try making a decent sized snowman with only a couple 
: of inches of snow on the ground.  It would only be a little 
: snow gnome!  Whereas  a foot of snow would be just enough to make
: a really great snowman!   (What else did you think I meant??)
: 	(*GRIN*)

Well, actually not.  Once you had the foot, you'd need another foot, and a
couple of ankles, and probably some knees, and... well, you get the
picture :-)

Bill
:  
-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: aahz@netcom.com (Aahzmandius)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Date: 25 Aug 92 18:14:37 GMT
Organization: Bill 'n' Opus for Prez

In article <9208250123.AA25823@regal.cisco.com> mlb@CISCO.COM (Marcia Bednarcyk) writes:
>In article <1992Aug24.171205.26983@mdd.comm.mot.com>, rudoff@mdd.comm.mot.com (Doug Rudoff) writes:
>|> There are people who are desperate for *anyone*.
>|> And there are people who are desperate for the right person.
>|> 
>|> The former are generally people to avoid relationships with.
>
>Question: how do you tell the former from the latter?
>
>I've run into a few of the latter, and they tend to look at you, decide if
>you are The One, and if you're not, they don't have time to get to know you,
>since they are desperately searching for him/her....
>
>I guess to me, desperation is desperation is desperation.

Hrmmmm.  I guess I would have put myself in the latter category, but I'm
also the kind of person who likes to maintain social contacts outside
the relationship.  I've always to tried to make friends with as many
people as possible -- while I still am not sure that Teri's advice is
good for everyone, it basically worked well for me.

In fact, I'd say that in my case if I had rejected friendships with
everyone who was "unsuitable", I'd never have gotten into this wonderful
relationship.  Maybe I wasn't desperate enough?  ;-)
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

So much Astroglide.  So little time.
From: dlyons@necis.UUCP (Dave Lyons)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Seesters, I want the seesters.
Date: 28 Aug 92 19:36:55 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: NEC Information Systems, Acton, MA

In article <1992Aug28.144250.20787@gvl.unisys.com>, liz@prc.unisys.com (Liz Loquacious) wrote:
> 
> No Larry, I think I have the perfect sisters for him.  They're Irish, they're
> both tatooed and they go for the Harley type.  Of course the younger one has
. . .
> some redeeming qualifications.  She's been tossed out of bars for smashing 
> people on the face with beer mugs.  Charming, don't ya think!

James, perhaps you can tell me as you've been around here longer than
I.  Why do guys who ride bikes (like us) ALWAYS seem to attract
comments like this ????
                                         -- Dave --
-- 
***************************************************************************
DaveJ Lyons       DoD #0633         dlyons@necis.nec.com  (603)878-2567 BBS
Opinions expressed are mine. My company doesn't even know I'm here (Shhhh!)
***************************************************************************
Newsgroups: soc.singles