From: Albert-Lunde@nwu.edu (Albert Lunde)
Subject: Re: Dusky Beauty Tells All
Followup-To: soc.bi
Originator: lunde@casbah.acns.nwu.edu
Reply-To: Albert-Lunde@nwu.edu (Albert Lunde)
Organization: Ministry of Silly Walks
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 12:12:47 GMT

In article <76728@ut-emx.uucp> keisha@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Coed of the Damned) writes:
>
>Hello, Keisha here, demuffining.
>
>I have been reading this newsgroup for about five months now, but I never
>had the guts to post anything.  Well, I have nothing to lose by posting now
>because everyone that I care about knows about my preferences, so here goes.

Welcome!

[great stuff about early history edited]
>When I got to college, I still mostly concentrated on men.  I guess it
>was me trying to live up to a feminine ideal.  But those dreams, those
>fantasies about being with women never went away.  Ever.
>
>I'm leaving this place and going to another one soon.  Another place 
>where I believe I can be open to suggestions and experimentation. 
>
>I read this over and it sounds very open and honest, and I am amazed that
>I could get up the courage to post these experiences to a newsgroup full
>of strangers.  But I think that milling about with people who can attest
>to the normalcy of this lifestyle will make me a little more courageous
>when I finally make the plunge, so to speak. 

I hope this is true.

><sigh>  Sometimes I feel like I'm the only bisexual woman in the world.
>Well, at least the only one that I know of.  I know plenty of gay men and
>lesbians, and oodles of straights, but I cannot think of one human being
>that I know or have been introduced to who can talk to me about what I'm
>feeling and have some real life experience.  In a way, it makes me feel
>very alone here.

Well, clearly you're not the only one, but it can be hard to find other
bis.  I'm tempted to suggest that this is a special reason to come out
in a big way -- it pays to advertise ;) -- but this may not be feasible
for you at this time. 

>Some people may say that my being bisexual stems from confusion or lack
>of "strong, traditional family values." 

They are the one's out of touch with reality or having problems with
their values.

>I really don't think that my 
>being (or at least believing) that I am bisexual makes me confused or
>misguided (although a favorite quote of mine from someone's .sig is 
>"As far as being bisexual is concerned, I'm not CONFUSED, I'm GREEDY!")

Yes!

>I've also been reading about how lesbians sometimes disparage the lifestyles
>of bisexual women.  (Something about their sexual intimacy with men making
>it hard for the two groups to understand each other.  Is that right?  The
>whole discussion has me very, very confused.  Can someone explain further?)
>I can feel the desire to be with both men and women, but I would be hard 
>pressed to make a lifestyle choice that would ostracise me from a sizeable
>and vocal group of women who work to make the lives of all women better.

I wouldn't say this is true of all lesbians, just a vocal minority, even
among the activists.

>Something else that worries me about this whole thing is being identified
>as some sort of oversexed weirdo who can't keep her clothes on.  I know
>that I'm not like that.  I believe that if I have these desires, I should
>act on them, as long as the acts are consensual and the other person 
>involved (male or female) is as open and understanding as I am willing to
>be.

Sounds fine to me. The "oversexed" image of most bis is likely either
envy or wishful thinking. I've never had an occasion to give some of
these bi myths a run for their money, though it could be fun to try.

>Comments, suggestions, hugs are welcomed.  Please be gentle. :-)

*Hug*Hug*

 <nibbling on a virtual earlobe and proceeding on down...>

>Keisha J. Gray -- Co-ed of the Damned
                   ^^^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^^^^^ te he!
>(keisha@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu, but not for long.)
>"More fun than you can shake a stick at!"

-- 
 Albert Lunde         | Interfaith  |     *Y*Y*      "A branch on the
 Albert-Lunde@nwu.edu |  Bisexual   |      *Y*        tree of life"
 alunde@nuacvm.bitnet |  Feminist   |.......|.........................