HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: veatch@cs.toronto.edu (Top Ten)
Subject: 10-08-92 Top Ten Little Known Debate Rules:
Reply-To: veatch@cs.toronto.edu
Organization: Top Ten Incorported
Distribution: na
Date: 10 Oct 92 00:39:07 GMT


                                      .o ____~~~~_____~.
                                   ..(                  )....
                                  (                          ))
                  .ooo.          (   Awwww. Nothing sadder  .  )
                 / ))' \         (                           )  o.
                 { , , }       'o (      than an artificial     )
                (  "_"  )   ..o'   (o..                          .)
                 " .o. "              .(.        wart.        ) )
             .---/\___//\----.           .(.~~~        ___...) o
            ^"  .\  Y  |.     ?.              .o -------o.
            :    .\ ^  |.      `>.
            ;   \  /^\ |.    k.   >..
            ;   |  /^\  \   " t..   `>.
            ;   \  /^\   | ./   "q..   `..
            l   k  /^\    \./:     ""q..  `\
     ________\   "~~~~...._\/_/________`\\_/===.,___________
              \,,,.../~~~~s                 &~~~s

Let's do our Top Ten list so you folks can get home early.
The category tonight is ...

Top Ten Little Known Debate Rules:

   10. Each candidate may kick off the proceedings with one limerick.
    9. After particularly good answer moderator may wink at candidate.
    8. Must provide people in front with drop cloth before smashing
       melon with giant mallot.

7. Candidates may toss out all the aritificial warts they want.
I just slipped that one in there for you on my own just to see
if I could make you a little more sad.  Awwww. Nothing sadder than
an artificial wart.

    7. Unless it pertains to an issue, no squatting.
    6. Bernard Shaw not allowed to hide under moderator's table.
    5. No triple suplexes.  Double suplexes - sure, but no triple suplexes.
    4. Maximum of two tickets to the debate for candidate's girlfriends.
    3. After taking drink of water, candidate must say, "Damm,
       that's tasty water."
    2. Candidates may compare themselves to JFK only in terms of screwing
       around.

... and the number one little know debate rule is ...

    1. No bicycle pants.
From: fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: Stupid Pet Tricks
Date: 13 Oct 92 12:43:57 GMT
Organization: Austerlitz, Gershovitz, and Carmichael

Tony Shepps writes:
>> Does anyone remember the stupid pet trick with the dog that, everytime
>> the owner would say "GOPHER" the dog would start jumping up and down
>> on that spot?  I was laughing my ass off that show. 
>
>Old favorite pet tricks:
> -- The dog that would howl when the NBC Nightly News theme came on

I wish I had known this was funny. My late sainted pooch, Max, would
"sing along" with the M*A*S*H theme, going into ecstasy during the 
high reed notes. But M*A*S*H isn't as funny as the NBC news.

-- 
Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu> No one -- from sea to shining sea -- 
can tell us why we are having all this trouble with our Republic.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: dnadams@nyx.cs.du.edu (Dean Adams)
Subject: Re: What was the deal with tonight's Top Ten???
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 10:39:59 GMT

simpson@bnr.ca (Scott Simpson) writes:
 >I'm sure everyone else noticed, but what exactly was the deal with 
 >number 8 on "Sinead O'Connor's Top Ten Beefs With The Pope"?
 >The voice was obviously dubbed over, and a new, slightly different 
 >and smaller font seemingly replaced the "real" number 8.

Interesting.  Yes, I can see that now, although the font IS the same.

 >So, the question that no-one can answer (except those in the studio
 >audience) is what was the *real* number 8?  I would bet a gazillion
 >dollars it wasn't "Snubbed her at the Grammys"...

Hmmm...  Probably not, but I expect we will never know what it was.

This does explain the strange advisory slate NBC had up 
prior to the starting the feed of the show:

 " DUE TO LATE EDITING, NO TIMES AVAILABLE "

Normally there would have been a timing list of all commercial breaks.
I guess some weasel NBC programming pinhead got himself all worked up
unto a frenzy over whatever the original joke was.  WEASEL!! WEASEL!!!

 >And speaking of being infatuated with some female guests, I thought
 >the man was going to jump all over Marilu tonight (not that he doesn't 
 >almost do it every time she's on-- it just seemed particularly evident 
 >tonight).

Hey, it was FANTASTIC!!   A really great "interview".  I loved it!
Dave also did one of his (becoming) trademark "hugs" with her.

That was NOTHING like the sort of putrid, meaningless hollywood 
tripe you would have heard on one of those other shows...

-{ DA }-

Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: mikenorw@lynx.dac.northeastern.edu (Michael Norwick)
Subject: A Classic Viewer Mail Bit
Organization: Northeastern University, Boston, MA. 02115, USA
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 07:44:10 GMT

About six or seven years ago on one of Dave's anniversary specials, they
replayed one of the funniest viewer mail bits I've ever seen on that
show.  The letter writer provided scientific evidence that Dave is
insignificant in terms of the grand scheme of things in the Universe. 
But then Dave responds by explaining how much more important he is, than
the letter writer, comparatively speaking. 
 
If anyone is a long-time fan and has the video-tape of this particular
anniversary show, I would most appreciate it if you could post a
transcript. I think everyone on this conference would enjoy this
particular slice of classic Letterman comedy.
 
                                                  Thanks,
 
                                                    Mike
From: simpson@bnr.ca (Scott Simpson)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: What was the deal with tonight's Top Ten???
Date: 7 Oct 92 05:39:56 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ottawa, Canada

I'm sure everyone else noticed, but what exactly was the deal with 
number 8 on "Sinead O'Connor's Top Ten Beefs With The Pope"?

The voice was obviously dubbed over, and a new, slightly different 
and smaller font seemingly replaced the "real" number 8.

So, the question that no-one can answer (except those in the studio
audience) is what was the *real* number 8?  I would bet a gazillion
dollars it wasn't "Snubbed her at the Grammys"...

Hmmm...

And speaking of being infatuated with some female guests, I thought
the man was going to jump all over Marilu tonight (not that he 
doesn't almost do it every time she's on-- it just seemed particularly
evident tonight).

Curious in Canada,
Me 
----------------->  rec.sport.hockey Ottawa Senators Contact <------------------
- Scott "Stop Calling Me Bart" Simpson | "Hmmm... [chocolate | barbequeue |    -
- CAD Operation Tools Development      |           donuts | potato(e) chips |  -
- Bell-Northern Research Ltd.          |           crumbled-up cookie things | -
- Ottawa, Ontario, Canada  [CRK 043]   |           beer | pancakes | boobies]."-
- simpson@bnr.ca       (613) 763-9243  |       - Homer, hero to men everywhere -
--->  In case it's not obvious, BNR and I may or may not share these views. <---
From: dittrich@aludra.usc.edu (Matt Dittrich)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: Dave loves Elle
Date: 11 Oct 1992 19:34:58 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu

In article <BvtC7K.2Es@undergrad.math.waterloo.edu> kjmcrae@cayley.uwaterloo.ca (insert name here) writes:
 >In article <1992Oct8.014440.24450@fx.com>, grady@fx.com (Steven Grady) writes:
 >> jlwoodal@garcia.warfield.edu  writes:
 >> >Dave... IN LOVE???
 >> >If Dave is on love with ANYONE its Teri Garr!!!
 >> No no no, Connie Chung.
 >
 >Don't forget about Cybil Shepherd...

He also has a major thing for Phoebe Cates.  I remember a show when her 
husband (some actor, can't remember who) was on, and there was a really 
awkward moment when Dave said something like, "Aren't you married to Phoebe
Cates?  Man, she's cute!"  Hubby gave him a nasty glare and the subject was
dropped.  Anyone remember this?

-- 
                                                               __
Matt Dittrich    | "Well the god I believe in        |        /  `
dittrich@usc.edu |      isn't short on cash, Mister" |   GO  |  UBS
                 |       -Bono on televangelists     |        \__,
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: dnadams@nyx.cs.du.edu (Dean Adams)
Subject: << #8  REVEALED!!! >>
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 92 04:26:00 GMT


YES!!!!!   

Due to the miracle of videotape and single frame scanning, 
plus (apparently) a friend in the NBC editing department.

We now have the formerly **CENSORED** Top Ten item #8  !!!

Going back and searching every frame REALLY paid off this time!  :-)

As everyone knows by now, the Sinead O'Conner top ten list was censored
which explained the strange advisory slate NBC had up prior to the starting 
the feed of yesterday's show:

 " DUE TO LATE EDITING, NO TIMES AVAILABLE "

Normally there would have been a timing list of all commercial breaks.
Obviosuly some weasel NBC programming pinhead got himself all worked up
(over NOTHING!).   WEASEL!  WEASEL!!  WEASEL!!!

Fortunately for the rest of us, there is *exactly* ONE frame left intact
with the original #8, prior to clearing the screen for the next page!
Perhaps somebody in editing was being nice to us?

OK...  Are you all ready for the great revelation?  :->

Here is the list, with the CENSORED #8...

 TOP TEN COMPLAINTS SINEAD O'CONNOR HAS ABOUT THE POPE
-------------------------------------------------------

 10. They screwed up her vinyl roof at the Vatican Car Wash
  9. He's never around when she needs help picking lotto numbers
* 8. He snubbed her at the Grammy Awards *  (WEASLES!!!)
  7. He's always telling people he got that big ring from winning 
       the superbowl in 1986
  6. He doesn't let anyone else drive the Pope-mobile
  5. He improperly uses piety to get hefty discounts at the gap
  4. At the movies he won't remove his eight foot hat
  3. The way he's always entering and then quitting the presidential race
  2. The time he said, "I don't date, but if I did I wouldn't date no 
       bald chick!"

 And the number one complaint Sinead O'Connor has about the Pope:

  1. He never picks up a check

And NOW...  The line those *MORONS* at NBC couldn't handle:
 .
   .
     .
       .
----------------------------------
 8. HIS HOLIER-THAN-THOU ATTITUDE
----------------------------------

THAT is funny!   

What the HELL could motivate those fools into censoring it?


-{ Dean Adams }-
From: ngsippel@miavx2.ham.muohio.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: Stupid Pet Tricks
Date: 11 Oct 92 18:21:19 GMT
Organization: Watch Ren And Stimpy or Else!

> show was the night he did "Top Ten New Advertising Slogans For Delta
> Airlines".  It was the same time as the Olly North hearings and on that 

Where can I get a copy of this top ten?!?!

-- 
      .    _  .     _____________ 
      |\_|/__/|    /             \ 
     / / \/ \  \  / Happy! Happy! \      
    /__|O||O|__ \ \   Joy! Joy!   / 
   |/_ \_/\_/ _\ | \  ___________/      
   | | (____) | ||  |/                       
   \/\___/\__/  // _/
   (_/         ||   
    |          ||\   Norman Sippel
     \        //_/   alias Norman "Muddy" Stimpy
      \______//      
     __|| __||       Email: ngsippel@miavx2.ham.muohio.edu
    (____(____)             ngsippel@komodo.ham.muohio.edu
          
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: watpod83@alfred.carleton.ca (Robert Telka)
Subject: Re: 10-06-92 Top Ten Complaints Sinead O'Connor has about the Pope
Organization: Carleton University
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 00:02:58 GMT

In <92Oct7.191243edt.47901@neat.cs.toronto.edu> veatch@cs.toronto.edu (Top Ten) writes:


>Top Ten Complaints Sinead O'Connor has about the Pope:

>I'll be the first to tell you, it's beyond me a little bit.
>I don't really understand it completely.
>Alllright...

>   10. They screwed up her vinyl roof at the Vatican Car Wash.
>    9. He's never around when she needs help picking lotto numbers.
>    8. He snubbed her at the Grammy Awards.
>       (what was number 8 before it was replaced by NBC?)
>    7. He's always telling people he got that big ring from winning
>       superbowl in 1986.
>    6. He doesn't let anyone else drive the Pope-mobile.
>    5. He improperly uses piety to get hefty disconts at the GAP.
>    4. At the movies he won't remove his eight foot hat.
>    3. The way he's always entering and then quitting the presidential race.
>    2. The time he said, `I don't date, but if I did I wouldn't date
>       no bald chick!'.

>I really don't understand the situation.
>... and the number one complaint Sinead O'Connor has about the Pope is ...

>    1. He never picks up a check.

>Paul and the band conclude with `Losing My Religion' originally by REM.

First of all, I'm not out to humiliate ANYONE!  Nor am I attempting to
imply ANYTHING against David Letterman, NBC, Sinead O'Connor, The
Pope, and any religion.

I've been following this Top Ten for the last week. . . No I never I
saw it.  From my own objective conclusion, in #8, could snubbed
originally be rubbed?  It would seem that the r could easily be
changed into sn, and would alter the sentence's meaning completely.

What do you think?

Robert Telka


Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: gsroka@leland.Stanford.EDU (Gregory Sroka)
Subject: Re: Dave loves Elle
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 06:00:23 GMT

In article <1bb2ceINNspb@agate.berkeley.edu> ph111-bx@violet.berkeley.edu (;;;;7202) writes:
>In article <1bao8iINN2ab@aludra.usc.edu> dittrich@aludra.usc.edu (Matt Dittrich) writes:
>>He also has a major thing for Phoebe Cates.  I remember a show when her 
>>husband (some actor, can't remember who) was on,
>
>Robert Klein.
>That's what Letterman always says, at least.

I thought it was Kevin Kline (Big Chill, Fish Called Wanda, Grand Canyon,...)
who married Cates. He's definitely been on LNwDL.
This also explains why Dave would always say it was Robert Klein. 
                                                           ^^^^^
(Another chance to play name jumble, for his own (and his fans') amusement.)

Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: beh7214@venus.tamu.edu (HEAD, BRYAN EVERETT)
Subject: Classic Viewer Mail
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Keywords: Letterman vs. Davis
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 06:46:00 GMT

About 5 or 6 years ago, a viewer wrote in and asked Dave why he always wore
wrestling shoes.  His response was for Hal to role the tape.  The tape that
followed depicted Dave asking his guest, Bette Davis, if she would care to
go 3 falls, Roman Grecko.  Bette responded, "Yes, Dave.  I could let you
do that."  Dave then pounced on and pinned a dummy dressed as Davis.  Pure
and simple classic Dave. 

Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: umgyles0@ccu.umanitoba.ca (Gyles)
Subject: Crispin Glover
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Canada
Distribution: alt
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 17:59:27 GMT


Well, with all this talk of Cripin Glover, I decided that it would be
a good time to post my Crispin Glover filmography:

 
     (Pre-1978) Two McDonald's commercials
              Bayer Asperin Commercial
              Candy Kisses (lip gloss) commercial
     (1983)   My Tutor
     (1984)   Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter
     (1984)   Racing with the Moon
     (????)   The Orkly Kid
     (1984)   Teachers
     (1985)   Back to the Future
              (* He did not appear in the two sequels because he    *)
              (* insisted on having script approval. Instead, his   *)
              (* character was mostly written out of the films, and *)
              (* a look-alike used when neccessary.                 *)
     (1986)  At Close Range
     (1986)  River's Edge
     (????)  Twister
     (1990)  Where the Heart Is
     (1990)  Wild at Heart
     (1991)  The Doors
     (????)  Rubin and Ed

Any additions that people could make to this would be greatly appreciated.
Also, how many albums has he put out??  I would love to get one on CD's 
if someone has access to record stores that carry this stuff. 

Also (just to justify posting this in the Letterman newsgroup) does anybody
remember the time Larry Bud Mellman was sent down to Casto Del Phaigo (I 
know that I have horribly misspelled this) in an RV?  Dave was phoning him
periodically, and part way into the trip, Larry was *begging* Dave to let
him come home, and he nearly broke down to tears on the phone telling Dave
what a horrible time they were having. Dave was his usual self, and blew
Larry off.  I think Dave was being really mean, does anybody know more about
this trip??

Darren
From: bsc7@po.CWRU.Edu (Bradley S. Corsello)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Zinc Man
Date: 14 Oct 1992 01:32:55 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: bsc7@po.CWRU.Edu (Bradley S. Corsello)
NNTP-Posting-Host: thor.ins.cwru.edu


What about the guy who'd always come on as a phony guest?  Dave would
introduce him as some famous person, and he would pathetically try
to answer a couple of questions, and then he'd admit that he wasn't
who he said he was, and he'd complain that he's not getting enough zinc.
What about him, eh?
-- 
Brad Corsello (bsc7@po.cwru.edu) 2L Case Western Reserve Law School
"The Fanaticks have always had a way of affecting to run into Per-
secution, and count vast Merit upon every little Hardship they suffer."
^ J. Swift.  "Factum clarum, jus nebulosum."  Rex v. Haddock.
From: drice@ponder.csci.unt.edu (Keith Rice)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: Paul Shaefer
Date: 7 Oct 92 15:30:34 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of North Texas

In <mcirvin.718466034@husc8> mcirvin@husc8.harvard.edu (Mcirvin) writes:

>gsroka@leland.Stanford.EDU (Gregory Sroka) writes:

>>In article <16118@borg.cs.unc.edu> crittend@cs.unc.edu writes:

>>Pardon me, B-R-A-D, it's actually Paul Schneider.
>>(Dave would know.)

>It's actually Hal Grunwald.   G-R-U-N-W-A-L-D.

No, no, no!  It's Hal Grundman!  G-R-U-N-D-M-A-N.

--
_____________________________
__-----____--___--__-----____	D. Keith Rice
__--__--___--__--___--__--___	University of North Texas
__--___--__--_--____--___--__	Department of Computer Science
__--___--__----_____--__--___	Denton, Texas, USA
__--___--__--_--____--_--____
__--__--___--__--___--__--___	drice@ponder.csci.unt.edu
__-----____--___--__--___--__
_____________________________
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: sjsobol@wariat.org (Steven J. Sobol)
Subject: Re: Dave loves Elle
Organization: The Tiny Software Co., via APK Public Access Unix, Cleveland
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 03:59:59 GMT

grady@fx.com writes:
>jlwoodal@garcia.warfield.edu  writes:

>>Dave... IN LOVE???

>>If Dave is on love with ANYONE its Teri Garr!!!

>No no no, Connie Chung.

Nahhh, Teri.

-- 
Steve Sobol     (IRC: RockNRoll)           sjsobol@tiny.com, sjsobol@wariat.org
President, The Tiny Software Co.                    ag510@cleveland.freenet.edu
Coordinator, Unix SIG, Greater Cleve. PC User Group        23707 Glenhill Drive
Founder, Midwest Regional COHERENT User Group        Cleveland, OH 44122    USA
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: dnadams@nyx.cs.du.edu (Dean Adams)
Subject: Re: Chris Elliot
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 09:24:06 GMT

scannell@bubba.ma30.bull.com (P Scannell) writes:
 >Chris Elliot also had a one-shot comedy special on Showtime 

Actually, he did a couple of them.  I think it was Cinemax though.

 >in which both Dave Letterman and Bob Elliot made brief appearances.  
 >(Letterman's lines were something like, "So this is your little comedy 
 >special deal, huh?  Boy, they'll put *anything* on cable."

Right.  That was from "Action Family", which was incredibly hilarious!
The other one he did was called "FDR One Man Show".  Not quite as good.

Both of these have been released together on one tape.

Another Late Night video release is Paul Shaffer's "Viva Shaf Vegas".
(this one also aired originally on Cinemax, back in 1987)

-{ DA }-
Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: veatch@cs.toronto.edu (Top Ten)
Subject: 10-09-92 Top Ten frequently recalled Fisher Price toys
Reply-To: veatch@cs.toronto.edu
Organization: Top Ten Incorporated
Fake-Sender: "Top Ten" <t10@cs.toronto.edu>
Distribution: na
Date: 12 Oct 92 07:36:28 GMT


                                      .o ____~~~~_____~.
                                   ..(                  )....
                                  (    Every time I bend     ))
                  .ooo.          (                            .  )
                 / ))' \         (  over, it sounds like I'm   )  o.
                 { , , }       'o (                             )
                (  "_"  )   ..o'   (o.   getting married.  Hey!  .)
                 " .o. "             (.o.                       ) )
             .---/\___//\----.           .(.~~~____    ___...) o
            ^"  .\  Y  |.     ?.              .o -------o.
            :    .\ ^  |.      `>.
            ;   \  /^\ |.    k.   >..
            ;   |  /^\  \   " t..   `>.
            ;   \  /^\   | ./   "q..   `..
            l   k  /^\    \./:     ""q..  `\
     ________\   "~~~~...._\/_/________`\\_/===.,___________
              \,,,.../~~~~s                 &~~~s

We have to do our top ten list and get on with the exciting program.
From the home office in Tahlequah, Oklahoma the ...

Top Ten frequently recalled Fisher Price toys:

Now here's what I was talking about earlier.
They have recalled now some baby safety seats and they'll take
care of them and send them back.  These would be other items
manufactured and sold by the Fisher Price company.  Here we go.

   10. My First Machete.
    9. Fragile Glass Vial of Mercury.
    8. Dad's Little Bartender.
    7. Balsa Wood 2000 (Bargain Pogo Stick).
They had to recall that.

    6. The Yugo.
I didn't realize Fisher Price made the Yugo.

    5. Grab the Cop's Gun (a game of skill).
    4. My-Tummy-is-a-Pin-Cushion Kit.
    3. GI Joe Geragiola.
    2. Now It's Too Hot - the Hot Plate Game.

... and the number one frequently recalled Fisher Price toy is ...

    1. The Hairiest Ken Doll Ever.

Newsgroups: alt.fan.letterman
From: mperlman@nyx.cs.du.edu (Marshal "Airborne" Perlman)
Subject: NBC'S MEETING WITH DAVE
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 18:28:27 GMT

I couldn't believe how pissed off dave was about that meeting,
he went off on NBC the whole night!

Kept saying: "SIGN ME UP AGAIN FROM 9 to MIDNIGHT!"
--
           Marshal Perlman <> Florida Institute of Technology 
                    ***** perlman@zach.fit.edu ***** 
               Private Pilot - Airplane Single-Engine Land