From: mneow@wam.umd.edu (Who wants to know?)
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: Re: Last 10 lbs / Losing Control
Date: 13 Aug 92 17:36:59 GMT
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park

In article <1992Aug10.171004.2441@awdprime.austin.ibm.com> ibmpa!cdc017.austin.ibm.com!lkoh@ibminet.awdpa.ibm.com writes:
>
>> Look, can we talk???  Maybe this thinking makes sense at 22, but at 34
>> it seems all skewed.   The people that care about you won't care
>> what you weigh (so long as you're healthy).  As for your boyfriend,
>> maybe your goal should be to be able to pick HIM up without popping
>> a vein! 
  

   Well, I'm not all that healthy being a college student living
with roomates and not knowing a whole lot about cooking, as well as 
often putting off my excercise for studying plus a bunch of other
"excuses."       As for my boyfriend, I*can* pick him up without
popping a vein.  And anyway, what's so wrong about worrying about
this stuff at 22...I will be 34 one day and I'd rather get in shape
now while my body may be able to take more pain than at 34. (not that
you can't get in shape at that age...I know ...It's never too late).> 
>   .......deleted stuff.......
>
>> Weighing less won't makes your grades better, 
>> make you a better person, make people love you more (all things
>> that are important to me:),

like they aren't important to me either!
 
 
B
>> it will only make you weigh less...
>> Why would a healthy, young, athletic person want to do that anyway???
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>> Margot
>
>Why? I'll tell you precisely why...because it *does*  
>"make sense at 22"  (I'm 20).  I happen to think that
>losing 10, 20, or 30 pounds would make me the happiest 
>girl on the planet, and that would in turn change a lot
>and i mean a *lot*, maybe just about everything, for the
>better, including my self-esteem, disposition, motivation, 
>and yes, grades and the way people interact with me.  Does
>any of this make sense?  I just reread this and it may seem
>like I'm being facetious, but I'm not. I am totally serious!
>Wow isn't it neat the way one line is just 1 character longer
>than the line before it, except for this one.
>
>
>~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^~~~~^^^^

Yes, thank you Lisa.  For a while I thought I was going to go
crazy.  I'm glad you feel this way too.

Margot, 
don't you realize that there is a terrible problem with young people
today?  There are continuously stories in magazines and on the news
about adolescents and girls as young as 6 and 7 who are "dieting"
to loses weight.  There are girls *and* boys who are struggling to 
"fit in" with the popular kids, who want to be accepted, who want to
be invited to parties and dance with the people they have crushes on.
Middle School is not the time to tell kids not to worry about it.
They will never understand what the truly important things in life
are until they come to realize this and accept what they've got.

I probably realized this in 8th grade, but I have never been able
to accept myself.  And while I worry about grades probably more
than the next student, and all I really want is for the people I 
care about to love me too, and accept me into their lives, telling
someone this is not going to change their outlook on life.

You said exactly what I have been hearing all my life.  Sometimes
I've felt that if only I could get really skinny or really obeses, 
then maybe I could get some help.  I've even reasoned with myself
that if I joined a weight loss support group, I would get sneers and
dirty looks from people who wouldn't understand why I am there.

I am probably about 12 pounds overweight, and that may not seem like
a lot to some people, but those extra pounds have always been there
since middle school.  It wasn't until Senior year that the other
girls started appearing bigger to me...meaning that I was just ahead
puberty wise...but I was still a bigger girl for the most part.  And
my whole attitude has been based on my weight.  My self esteem is
low, my motivation is almost nill (and that includes motivation to
succeed in school and career) I basically have no respect for myself
because I have let this go on for so long  and I'm fed up with it.


I thought that if I wrote to the group, I would get some support
(that is what this group is for, isn't it?)  And I did get some from
a few very kind people who understand, but all that you said is 
exactly what I've been hearing my whole life, "Oh you look fine,
stop complaining, you don't need to worry, you look good, "  and
from my mom, "oh, I was always a Tubo" when in fact my mom was
practically aneorexic in her early mothering years.  Now has any
of that ever helped me?  No or I wouldn't be here. I agree with
Lisa who believes that losing just 10 or 20 pounds would change
a lot for us.

I'm sorry Margot, if I seem angry.  I think I am frustrated at
the whole thing.  Maybe you just don't understand enough about
me and who I am to be able to make me like myself better just
by saying that it doesn't seem like I have that much to worry
about...does that make sense...??  But I think that if anyone     
here is concerned and worried about their health enough to post
looking for support, then no matter how severe their problem,
they need that support and understanding...I almost gave up
on the group...