HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: pjl@sunb4.cs.uiuc.edu (Paul Lucas)
Subject: Paying by check
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 04:14:08 GMT

	I still can't figure out why people pay by check.  The only time
	you have to is to pay your bills, but when you're out somewhere,
	pay by credit card or maybe something even as radical as cash.

	When you pay by check, you have to transfer money into your
	checking account to cover it; why don't you just withdraw the
	money instead?

	Peeve: waiting behind someone in line who is paying by check
	while the store does a check (no pun intended) on the person.
	(Yes, you have to wait for the clerk to validate a credit card
	too, but it's quicker than validating a check...at least in my
	experience.)

	Don't the people paying by check get tired of waiting
	themselves?

	I know, I know...supermarkets don't take credit cards.  Why not?
	They seem to be the only kind of store that doesn't.

	Peeve: Supermarkets don't take credit cards.
-- 
	- Paul J. Lucas				University of Illinois	
	  AT&T Bell Laboratories		at Urbana-Champaign
	  Naperville, IL			pjl@cs.uiuc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,soc.singles,talk.abortion,talk.bizarre
From: mon@cray.com (Muriel Nelson)
Subject: Re: Desperately Seeking a Domain Mapping function for Sex
Date: 13 Apr 92 12:59:44 CDT

In article <1992Apr11.213403.9540@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:

>
>but It MIGHT help if we could arbitrate what the domain of 'Sex' was,
>and what events are truly IN, and what events are truly 'out' so as
>to clarify whether or not one's relationship is based purely ON sex.
>
>Is ForePlay a part of 'sex' - and is ForePlay strictly a 'physical'
>event_structure? If ForePlay is a part of 'sex' does this invalidate
>the notion that 'sex causes pregnancy' - or was that broad sweeping
>generalization invalid to begin with as it merely referred to a
>specific subset of Sex?????
>
>If ForePlay is not directly in the Domain of Sex, does there exist
>a function f() that will advise one, "here we ain't foreplaying, 
>but have clearly driven the ball down the fairway towards to the
>sand trap and most likely sliced it off into the rough." { to use
>a 'sports' metaphour so as to avoid being pornographical. }
>
>eg: should one shout "FORE!" when one has finished ForePlay so
>that one's partner knows that one wishes to 'play on through?'
>
Academic Note:

If you are having Sex in such a way that you can't tell exactly 
when it begins and ends, you are probably Doing something right.

muriel
standard disclaimer
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Just from a car
Date: 17 Apr 92 17:13:00 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

jpoller@novell.com (Contents may have Rotted during Shipping) writes:
>This was of course one of those oaths that went along with "Should you
>re-enter the Esteemed Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, we will be forced

No this was my own choice.  Sort of like "Never go anywhere the
government owns the liquor stores."  It is a sort of interesting place
if you're an autcrosser, though.  Just pretend the Amish buggies are
pylons.  Weave through the barrels on the Interstates.  And the ever
famous 3-lane highway game of chicken.

>You want her spunk???  I thought that even you were above that.  What
>you gonna do?  Make some bread???

We determined long ago that it was more effective as a yogurt starter.
And I put it a rung or two higher than wanting her lingerie so you
have some lounging clothes at home.

ObHair: Ingrown nipple

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The good thing about meeting two Microsoft executives while naked is
you can shake hands with both of them at once." -- Scott Griffith
From: sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lawyers not Chemists
Date: 10 Apr 92 12:50:10 -0500

In article <11039@autodesk.COM>, booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
> In article <1992Apr7.164630.987@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu> sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu writes:
> 
> [relates story of how a young lawyer has bongo bucks and he does not.]
> 
[relates story of how shitty a lawyer's lot is.]

> The key word is "research". Unless you are a super grant writer, you
> are screwed. If its any consolation, you are engaged in a profession
> that saves lives and, at least, have my admiration and a cleaner 
> karma.

Thanks Elaine. You made my week. Really!
	
> One of these days, I will post my rant about finding my
> cat up a chimney. Ever try to bathe a cat named Attila?
> 
OUCH!

> Peeve: That medical researchers don't make a lot of money.

> SuperPeeve: That lawyers do make so much money.

Damn straight!

Scott A. Chasse
U. of Fl. IFAS Research
Ft. Lauderdale
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Lee Kuan Yew)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Amurrica (was Re: peeve dump)
Date: 8 Apr 92 17:24:07 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <31235@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg) writes:

>Peeve: The fact that a nation full of people desperately trying
>to relive the nineteenth century (sometimes A.D. sometimes B.C.)
>still manages to remain an economic superpower and register 
>technological advances.

You think that because guns and horses are associated with the 19th century,
that's the only reason people could possible have for wanting to play with
them?  I detect an error in reasoning here.


>Peeve: Reading this newsgroup gives the impression that the above
>nation is full of people obsessed with guns, whose attitude seems to
>be "don't leave home without one". Despite this, there remains some
>semblance of law and order over there, where a state of complete
>anarchy would appear to be well-deserved.

Some people like to fire guns, either at targets or while hunting.  Neither
activity is exactly unknown in other nations, and yet you deduce from this
that Americans are somehow "obsessed" with firearms.  Interesting.  I seem
to detect not only another error in reasoning, but a certain bias as well.

Peeve:  Knee-jerk anti-American Britishers.  Sometimes I have the impression
	that you're an entire culture of whining, pissy-pantsed leftist 
	malcontents.

ObWeapon:  Margaret Thatcher.



Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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From: egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Smoking Surrogate
Date: 9 Apr 92 16:05:07 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <10234@cernvax.cern.ch> steveb@cernvax.cern.ch (Steve Bougerolle) writes:
>In <1992Apr9.065007.16316@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Iowegian) writes:
>
>>	As for the various cabals around the world, I think Claudio
>>(though I'm sure Interpol has a pic of him already), Babs, Steve, and
>>the rest of the *major poasters* on here (that includes you, dak,
>>though you inherently agree to allow us to make fun of your rotund
>>presence in the middle of a barren wasteland) really deserve not
>>only the extra recognition a GIF would provide

>I don't have any means of posting a GIF of myself that I know of.
>Still, I think all of you who can post a GIF should.

Sorry old chap.  No can do.  

Well, I don't think so anyway.  Trouble is, I am not exactly computer
literate.  I would first have to be told what a GIF is - I thought it
was a sort of squishy envelope for sending illicit substances through
the Royal Mail.  

Anyway, I rather like preserving my anonymity.  

Peeve:  I am hungry and have precisely 28p to get myself something for
dinner.  fried onion again alas.

AdvanceWarningPeeve:  Prepare for hangover peeves on the morrow as I
celebrate/drown my sorrows in tequila.  Prepare for additional peeves if
the (EvilFascistNaziMoneysnatchingDeceitfulLyingBastard)* Tories get in
again.

*  Apologies for lapsing into DrieuxSpeak - it seems to happen at times
of great stress

Babs

ObSheepdog:  Tainted Sheepdog
ObObWordForTheDay:  Oblivion (awaits me tonight)
ObBob:  -A-Job
ObScene:  John Major, wearing a purple lycra posing pouch, going down
on Thora Hird
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: engineers, again
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 92 19:31:15 GMT
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia 
Followup-To: alt.peeves

In article <92107.110024JMM151@psuvm.psu.edu> Jennifer Mina writes:

>Peeve:  people who demand that I explain my peeves to them.  I thought
>this was a place where people could vocalize their peeves (well, kinda),
>not get more annoyed by people responding to  their peeves.  If you're
>offended that I'm peeved at Engineers, too bad.  Why do you care what
>peeves me anyway?  I don't know you.  It's not like I'm trying to get
>anyone else to be peeved at Engineers, so what's the problem?

Uh, Jennifer, you're new in town, right?

If you think you can post here and not be held in some way responsible
for explaining what you write (especially when what you write isn't
what you meant, as in this case confusing engineers with teachers at 
Penn State), you're mistaken.  If you think the responses your post
generated were expressions of offense, you've misinterpreted what were,
by Peevetown standards, gentle and harmless inquiries.

As a Jennifer from PSU you have an additional weight of prejudice to
deal with (ask banta for advice on this one), but that needn't be an
overwhelmingly crippling onus.

>Again, :-p !

What?

>--Jennifer

-- 
Rick Gordon        |  "The more things change, the more different 
rickg@netcom.com   |     they get." -- S. Krishna of Copenhagen
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Drug Abuse, its a Scary Thing
Date: 7 Apr 92 09:23:47 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper

Joy Haftel <JKH107@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
] 
] Peeve:  I was once in Yugoslavia.  Now I don't even know what country (now)
]         I was in (then).

Oh what worrying things These Odd Encounters Bring....

ciao
drieux

please note that there is still but ONE Yugoslavia,
and it has not changed in spite of revisionist ideological
rantings on the part of the <insert token here>.

Technical MondoBonusPeeve: Central Europe was very
stable, cartographically speaking, from 1914-1918.
It was not until after the ImperialistWarOfOppression Ended
that Central Europe was left destitute of its God Given
Rightful Rulers.

ObMondoPoliticalKorrectness: Give Germany Back to the Germans,
				Make Germany german Again!!!!!




-- 
EOT 
No More Written InPut 
Why are you Looking Here?
From: egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The Edinburgh International Science Festival
Date: 8 Apr 92 15:46:54 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <31249@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
>However, on returning to my office I noticed that the main doors to the
>building have lots of little signs on them advertising which events in the
>"Science Olympiad" are in the building. I think the kids have to complete a
>certain number of events (with cute titles like "Strike A Light" and
>"Bridging The Divide") or something like that.

!Peeve;  Geology is obviously not classified as a science.  This would
normally not be a !peeve but it does mean that we have been overlooked
by the hordes of ravening wee beasties.  For those in need of a
child-free (and indeed largely science-free) haven Geology and
Geophysics is the place.

Mind you, as you say there are some interesting possibilities for new
events here.

Eg. as Not_Al suggested:

>"Under Pressure" - I'm sure Babs would be quite happy to let us get access
>to that machine the rock bashers use to recreate the conditions in the
>depths of the earth's crust. Definite possibilities for an interesting
>event there.

Yes - we could try a few melting and crystallisation experiments too. 
Oh and some of the geophyskis who are into earthquakes could perform
some nice stress/failure type experiments - see how long it takes for a
kid to rip in two.

"Geochemistry at your fingertips" - see how long it takes for children
of various sizes to dissolve in concentrated hydrofluoric acid

"Old saws" - see how rocks are cut up into little bits with a
super-duper saw.  Watch how it cuts an accurate swaythe through young
childrens' torsos!

There could also be a place for the humble geologist's most faithful
friend and ally;  the 5 lb sledgehammer.

Hmmm.  Definite possibilities!

Babs
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: in a handbasket
Date: 15 Apr 92 22:36:28 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Flodnak, Inc., Trondheim, Norway
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Apr15.211134.9350@umbc3.umbc.edu> potler@umbc4.umbc.edu
(Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:

>i went to the supermarket saturday. wound up at one of those cut rate
>places because it happened to be near the hechingers. 

What's a "hechinger?"


	"Careful, don't get too close to that lady?"

	"What lady?  Why?"

	"That one over there, the one with the groceries.  She'll
	 tray and grab you by the hechingers!"



Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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From: scooter@hirgon.hw.stratus.com (Scott Free)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Of Slaughterhouse Five and Men
Date: 14 Apr 92 13:54:09 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc.

In article <1992Apr13.153146.24974@acs.ucalgary.ca>, parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
> In article <1992Apr10.084317.6679@talon.ucs.orst.edu> usenet@talon.ucs.orst.edu (Usenet News admin) writes:
> 
> >I watched the movie "Slaughterhouse Five" last night.  The character 
> >who kills Billy Pilgrim described getting back at a dog who bit him.
> >He cut a spring into 1/2 inch slivers.  He then inserted each one by
> >hand into a steak.  He gave it to the dog.  And when the dog started to
> >howl and blood started to run from its mouth he said, "That's me inside
> >there, sticking you with those knives."  For him nothing was sweeter than
> >revenge.

	I thought that character was sad.  

> >Personally, I think this is appalling.  No dog is evil enough to deserve 
> >to be treated that way.  

	"It's only a movie. It's only a movie. It's only a movie."
	
>   But lawyers, and People Who Do Not Move Over To The Left When I
                                                        ^^^^
						I hope this is a typo.

>   Flash My Highbeams, on the other hand, should receive this
>   treatment often...

ObThingsMyWifeDoes:  The wife and I have this unwritten agreement; when
she cooks, I clean the kitchen, and vice versa.  However, when she has
Kitchen Patrol, she won't scrub any pots.  She leaves them in the sink
for whoever has KP the next day (we generally alternate).

scooter
From: sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com (Bruce Tindall)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Low-fat = Low-salt
Date: 13 Apr 92 21:25:12 GMT
Organization: SAS Institute Inc.
Originator: sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com
X-Bytes: 865

In article <92103.191644SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>, SEK@psuvm.psu.edu (Sonja Kueppers) writes:
>Peeve: That anytime a manufacturer decides to make one of their "regular"
>foods into a "low-fat" product, they also decide to remove everything
>else "unhealthy" from it.

Hey, not true.  In the local A&P they put little heart-shaped signs
underneath products that are healthy in one way or another, and list
the healthy factors.  For example, under a gallon jug of Kikkoman
Soy Sauce was a little heart saying "Low Fat."  So I took the bottle
home, poured myself a big tumbler full, and quaffed it right down.
I am now undergoing treatment for being turned inside out like a
salted slug.  But my arteries are as plaque-free as can be!  No
wonder those Japanese have such a low rate of heart disease.
-- 
Bruce Tindall, Core Testing Manager, SAS Institute Inc., Cary NC 27513
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Quayle, bullies, 'n things (was Re: Lemon Gin, Rape)
Date: 6 Apr 92 20:27:57 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <h1h+7J=@engin.umich.edu> ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering) writes:

>"Frank Mastrioanno, a counselor at Thomas S. Wootton High School in 
> Rockville, MD, trains students in peer counseling in order to deal with
> problems like bullying.
> 'If a kid puts in a request, the peer counsel asks about relationships,
> asks about home life, and uses active listening to see if the person has
> done anything to encourage the bullying,' he says."

*Active listening?!?*  What the hell kind of Sensitive, New Age psychobable
horseshit is that?  Listening is by definition a passive activity, is it
not?

And I couldn't help noticing that this is done " to see if the person has
done anything to encourage the bullying."  Yeah, right -- it's all the
victim's fault.  Of course, this provides yet another excuse to avoid 
addressing the problem at its source with a (hopefully violent) confron-
tation.  Massive thermonuclear retaliation, that's the ticket.



Geoff


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   "It's not called Marine 1 because Flipper's on board!"  -- Mary Shafer
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Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Iowegian)
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Iowegian)
Organization: Sensitive Guys Martial Arts and Gun Club
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 05:51:03 GMT

(Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>
>people that want to "network". with me.
>

This reminds me -- I had to run to K-mart to buy a few nails, and while
I was walking past the cheezy bicycles they always place in front of
the store, the graphic paint of a Huffy mountain bike caught my eye.
Well, the neon-yellow writing on the black crossbar did, anyway.

According to Huffy, this was not a mountain bike.  It was a "Huffy
Mountain System."   Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!! Where's my cutting torch?
What kind of twits are influencing those marketing types, or do the
marketing types just have inbreeding and low SAQ to blame?  I mean,
I walk into a computer store to find a particular piece of software
and the salesman asks me what kind of "solution" I'm interested in,
and now bicycles are "systems?"  Pardon me while I retch...

--
<Daniel R. Sorenson   Dod #1066  |If Iowa State University agreed with me >
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu <- work |I'd make $90K/yr.  They don't, I don't. >
<viking@iastate.edu      <- play |"I am *not* goofing off.  I am driving  >
< myself mercilessly in the pursuit of relaxation." -- T. Weeds           >
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Poasters unmasked
Date: 12 Apr 92 01:48:57 GMT
Article-I.D.: lynx.1kvj5zm
Organization: Fecogeological Wonders of the World, Inc.

In article <1992Apr9.224821.15145@odin.corp.sgi.com> Jeff Zurschmeide writes:

>I think the time is ripe for posting some physical descriptions 
>of us. But to be fair, I think we should describe each other. 

Today's Poster Unmasked: Chris Baldwin (baldwin@carina.unm.edu)	

   I first imagined Chris Baldwin to be extremely clean cut; 
lanky and blond and somewhat preppy, probably about 6' tall 
with close-cropped hair. I had this wonderful mental image of 
him sitting behind a squeeky clean service counter in a bright and 
shiny computer lab with white shiny walls with a shiny smile fixed 
on his face as the Woman of Thesaurus approached slowly, hips 
swaying in ritual torment.
   I was to meet Chris for the first time to loan him the oft 
mentioned Great White North album. It was after midnight, and he was 
working in the worst of all of UNM's computing labs. The walls were 
dingy white cinderblock and the carpet looked as if it used to be in 
someone's rumpus room before it was thrown out because the stains 
were staring to fester. This is where the street people go to nod 
off and prostitutes try to pick up geeks. About once a month the 
police come by  to throw people out. (I'm serious, all of this is in 
the papers.)
   There was no service counter, but I guessed which person was 
Chris. Regular student users aren't supposed to bring food into the 
labs, so I figured Chris had to be the dark-haired pony-tail guy 
with the Taco Bell bag. He was tapping on the keyboard with one hand 
whilst holding something brown and oozing in the other like some 
sort of Jabba the Hut of Usenet. Periodically, he'd set the brown 
oozing thing on top of the terminal to free his hand so he could 
gulp from a trough of Dr. Pepper while still typing.
   If anyone was silly enough to ask him a question, he'd lean over 
them while they worked at their terminal and brace one hand on their 
shoulder, all the while gesturing at the screen with the Dr. Pepper, 
while he subtly wiped his filthy hand on their shirt.
   I was pretty goddamned impressed.
   Since (and including) that night, I have never seen Chris wear 
anything other than a white t-shirt and jeans (and ObShoes, of 
course).

d "wonder if he'll answer any of my unix questions now?" h

-- 
"I used to be an extravert until I decided I hated people. I hate parties, I
 hate classes and I hate going to the supermarket."   -- Melissa Paterson
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions
Date: Thu, 09 Apr 92 00:24:41 GMT
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia 
Followup-To: alt.peeves

In article <ku6nl6INN9n0@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> Geoff Miller writes:

> [ ... ]
>But I've noticed more and more that when I encounter people walking t`other 
>way, they act not just ill at ease, but *frightened.*  And not just women,
>either.  They seem to think that the default situation is for me to attack 
>them.  And I don't think I look partcularly intimidating.  For example, I 
>was out walking one night not far from my apartment, and I noticed an elderly 
>man and woman standing on the sidewalk a couple of hundred yards ahead with a
>few pieces of luggage next to them; they appeared to be waiting for a cab or 
>something.
>
>A few seconds went by, and as I gradually drew closer, they suddenly noticed 
>me.  They grabbed all their stuff and *ran* back inside the condo complex
>behind them.  I'd never in my life seen old people move that quickly.  And
>for what?  Just because some guy was walking toward them on the same side
>of the street!  I'll grant that there are a lot of weirdos around these
>days, and hearing about people like Dahmer doesn't exactly help, either.
>But for crying out loud, that's not sufficient reason for people to go
>slinking around with their figurative tails between their legs like fright-
>ened dogs.  It annoys me so much that sometimes I feel like lunging at 
>someone just for the hell of it, just to step back and watch them pee in
>their pants.  Boo!  "Eeek!"

Wait; I'll get my camcorder.  If we don't clean up on "Geraldo!" we can
always try for one of those "Murrica's Funniest" video shows.

Unless, of course, the "Eeek!" response is drowned out by the authoritative
note sounded by a Lady Colt in panic mode.  Them old ladies can fool ya.

>Geoff

-- 
Rick Gordon       |  "A musicologist is a person who can read music 
rickg@netcom.com  |   but can't hear it." -- Sir T. Beecham