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Date:         Wed, 19 Aug 1992 15:39:08 -0500
From:         ANTHLAL@UMNACVX.BITNET
Subject:      disarray, datarray; or, pile in the minivan,
              it's family values night!

"family values night."  sounds like a promotion at furrs (tm) cafeteria.

okay, so here's my take on last night at the astrodome.  just so you know,
and can just delete this now.  :-)

jack kemp's speech was uninspiring, to say the least.  nice glasses, jack.
you have got to wonder which genius is in charge of scheduling, pacing, and
continuity out there.  "an electrifying evening of speaking, whose climax
will be a speech by phil gramm!!!"
yawn.  gramm's speech was indeed a bit long.  i though he overdid it, trying
for local real-life texan color.  gramm's from georgia, right?  get serious.
i noticed, to my chagrin, that i left out "used-car salesmen" as a possible
group that the g.o.p. could alienate.  actually, the lowest point of the
evening was probably when gramm, hoping to impress mr. and mrs. america,
mentioned that he had quite the college education.  i, myself, lost all
interest in *anything* he had to say when he spit out six little words:
"i have a ph.d. in economics."
comedy central definitely had the two funniest moments on the air (we have
cable up here at the radio station...ostensibly, so we can monitor cnn.  i
keep it on the comedy channel, m'self):
1)calvin trillin and penn gillette and al franken, interviewing george jr.,
asked him if he had ever picked up the check in a restaurant.  the look on
george's face made up for a wealth of trouble in my life in the past few
weeks.
2)penn gillette, leaning down so he could peer into the macneil/lehrer
command post, screamed at barbara bush "hey!  know any good jokes?"

apparently, the hot topic of discussion down there is woody & mia.  family
values party, huh?  gotcha.  we'll get copies of those pictures faxed down
to y'all real soon.

i didn't hear much of william weld's speech, because my mother chose that
particular time to call and tell me all about my cousin robert e. lee's
and his fiancee's wedding shower.  apparently samantha june received quite
a bit of the frederick's of hollywood catalogue.  robert e. lee received
a couple of cartons of cigarettes.  my gift suggestion...birth control...was
vetoed by my mom.  she got them some nice le creuset cookware.  my sister amy
got robert e. lee some craftsman wrenches ("...to help him get the wheels off
their house," she explained).  so i missed out on weld, sorry to say.
the reason i bring this up is not out of sheer cussedness, as i am sure you
would naturally assume, but to point out that maybe when the republicans
say "family values", they are not talking about *my* family values.  at least,
i would assume that they are not referring to my family's values.  i
certainly hope not.  the idyllic picture of the very model of the model
major republican household is nowhere *near* the world of robert e. lee,
samantha june, and my uncle chuck.  and, incidentally, the wedding is next
week if you'd like to send a gift.  the baby shower is scheduled for
late september.  (send cigarettes...the gift that keeps on giving!)

anyone else notice that the networks keep focusing on the same seven
african-americans in attendance there in houston?  anyone else notice that
six of them are wearing the concessionaires' uniforms?

and, incidentally, i'm awarding points to people who show up in what the
journalists are calling "a full cleveland"...white shoes, white socks,
white belt.  keep your eyes peeled.

    more from the trenches tomorrow
                                   * * *anneliese "i'm my own grandma" l.
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