HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: wolvie@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (christopher motherway)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: The Hunting Song (Tom Lehrer)
Date: 8 Jan 93 18:18:33 GMT
Organization: Cybernet BBS, Boca Raton, Florida

I was will remember:
Twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear
I went a shot the maximum
The game laws would allow:
        Two game wardens,
        Seven hunters,
        And a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle;
I took down my trusty rifle,
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day!
I tied 'em to my fenders
And I got 'em home some how:
        Two game wardens,
        Seven hunters,
        And a cow.

The law was very firm.  It
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured!
It turned out there was a reason:
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured!

People ask me how I do it,
And I say, "There's nothing to it:
You just stand there looking cute,
And when something moves,....you shoot!"
And there's tem stuffed heads in my trophy room right now:
        Two game wardens,
        
        Seven hunters,

        And a pure-bred Jersey cow!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: garrett@Ingres.COM (WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS)
Subject: Re: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Summary: Plagerism  
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 9 Jan 93 03:13:05 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.112850.7152@gw.wmich.edu>, 123paszek@gw.wmich.edu                                      writes...
> 
>The scene is an autobahn somewhere in Germany.  A shiny new Mercedes is
>driving along at a steady 100 km/h.  Suddenly, a small Mini-Cooper drives up
>next to it.  The Mini's driver rolls down his window, and starts yelling
>"Hey, do you know anything about the Mini?".  The annoyed Mercedes owner

[stuff deleted]

>"Good! Can you tell me where the hell is the second gear on this thing?"
>
This joke is straight from an old rock-n-roll song (different cars).

>M.M.M.P. @  Western Michigan University
> 
-Garrett
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bstdenis@mailbox.fwrdc.rtsg.mot.com (Brian St. Denis)
Subject: Re: Is there a FAQ.  I would like ftp site for smilies if possible
Organization: Fort Worth Research and Development Center, Motorola, Inc.
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 15:58:19 GMT


I have about 700 smileys.  The one posted in this group earlier had more 
but I don't have that one.

Send mail if you want the ones that I have.

-Brian

-- 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian St. Denis                       | "Will administer for food."   -JLRU
Computer/Network Administration       | e-mail: bstdenis@fwrdc.rtsg.mot.com
Fort Worth Research and Design Center | phone:               (817) 232-6129
Motorola Inc.                         | digital pager:       (214) 835-0916
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: chenault@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Bill Chenault)
Subject: Re: TV axioms
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 21:09:14 GMT

In article <1993Jan3.140853.23249@netcom.com> jimlynch@netcom.com (Jim Lynch) writes:
>All-purpose TV axiom: The last 5 minutes of any tv show will tell the entire
>story. Further, that last 5 minutes will always be the most entertaining.
>Note: allow at least 10 minutes between the end of the show and the (half) hour
>for commercials.

There is one more fundamental TV axiom, that is never violated:

The pure drivel will drive the ordinary drivel off the tv set.

Have all the Amy Fischer stories been replaced by something worse, yet?
From: Treble@asc.slb.com (John Treble)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Madonna joke
Followup-To: rec.humor
Date: 12 Jan 1993 20:09:22 GMT
Organization: ASC-Austin
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: asc438.asc.slb.com

What did Madonna's left thigh say to her right thigh?














Nothing. They've never spoken. In fact, they've never met!


treble@asc.slb.com "My humble, but accurate, opinion does not necessarily
reflect that of my employer. I get full credit for my insightful and witty
comments!"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ursekarm@infonode.ingr.com (Mahesh Ursekar)
Subject: My Fair Lady
Organization: Intergraph Corporation, Huntsville, AL.
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 19:30:33 GMT


Hi folks, 

Does anybody have the words to the song "Why can't a women be more like
a man" sung by Rex Harrisson in the movie "My Fair Lady"?

If so, could you please mail it to me?

Thanks in advance, 

...Mahesh
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: johnson@sleipnir.pb.wes.mot.com (Mark Johnson)
Subject: Re: New Internet Farsides!
Reply-To: johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Wireless Enterprises, Schaumburg, IL
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 09:31:46 GMT

In article <1993Jan4.235007.9307@csus.edu>, arthurc@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu (Arthur Chandler) writes:
=)
=)  I propose we make up our own Far Sides, with descriptions supplying
=)the place of Larsen's visuals.  Here's one to start:
=)
=)  Scene: Neanderthal is crouching by highway, holding a long piece of
=)twine that connects to a humongous bear-trap set in the middle of the
=)road. In the distance we see a bus coming up over the rise.
=)  His friend, another slope-head, yells at him, "No Thag, that not
=)way you catch bus!" 

On behalf of neanderthals everywhere, I object to the offensive use of
the term slope-head.  It is inappropriate in this forum to use such
perjorative terms to refer to groups of people who may be offended by
them if they were within ten thousand years of hearing them.

I drew one once with a neanderthal sitting on a cart.  The cart had four
wheels mounted so that the wheels were flat on the ground, with the axles
sticking straight up into the cart.  The caption read, "Og's wheel looked
good on paper, but there were application problems."
-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson"                              |Just because you're paranoid doesn't|
| johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com |   mean they're not out to get you. |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Let's face it; if our lawyers knew what went on here, they'd shut us down.  |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Xref: sparky rec.humor:37464 soc.culture.british:18243
From: mckeonj@ul.ie
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.british
Subject: ...where angels fear...
Date: 5 Jan 93 09:54:38 GMT
Organization: University of Limerick, Ireland

(This is for Brits only)
Did you see where some guy last year was done for speeding
in a Reliant Robin? Clocked 105 mph!
Top that, Del Boy.
-- 
"Ich am of Irlonde" (medieval fragment used by Yeats)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
John McKeon, Material Science Dept. University of Limerick, Ireland
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: johnk@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (John J Kuszewski)
Subject: Twelve Days of Clinton
Organization: HAC - Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 20:26:40 GMT

Could anyone send me Rush Limbaugh's "Twelve Days of Clinton?"

Thanks.
-- 
John Kuszewski
johnk@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu
I'm not an idiot, but I play one on USENET
From: lrasmuss@pica.army.mil (Lucinda J. Rasmussen (AEP) <lrasmuss>)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: READ MY LIPS (PART 2)
Date: 8 Jan 93 21:28:53 GMT
Organization: U.S. Army  Armament Research Development & Engineering Center, Dover NJ

The babies actually seemed to be enjoying themselves!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dsohl@spock.uucp (Daniel Sohl)
Subject: Re: TEST! Ignore...
Organization: Choate Rosemary Hall
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 18:55:43 GMT

In article <1738@anon.smurf.sub.org> 328@anon.smurf.sub.org (Anonymous User 328) writes:
>This is a test is a test is a test is a test...

Why does everybody always post tests here?
-- 
-- Dan Sohl* Why is it that our noses run and our feet smell?
************ Why is it that we play at a recital and recite in a play?
"The other Sheltanac's joopleberry shrub is always a more mauvy shade
of pinky russet."
 dsohl@choate.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: doug@seas.smu.edu (Doug Davis)
Subject: Would someone mail me...
Organization: SMU - School of Engineering & Applied Science - Dallas
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 04:38:51 GMT


I know I'm probably going to regret this, but, would
someone email me the "application for arkansas state residency"
that was posted here sometime back.


Thanks

objoke: The Elvis stamp is going to amount to 30,000 licks, guess that means
        he will be all stuck up.

sorry...


Xref: sparky rec.humor:37562 soc.culture.british:18326
From: chorley@vms.ocom.okstate.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.british
Subject: Re: ...where angels fear...
Date: 7 Jan 93 18:48:02 GMT
Article-I.D.: vms.1993Jan7.124802.1
Organization: OSU College of Osteopathic Medicine

In article <1993Jan7.114117.23373@physchem.ox.ac.uk>, pete@physchem.ox.ac.uk (Pete Biggs) writes:
> 
> In article <20220.2b495adf@ul.ie>, mckeonj@ul.ie         
>>(This is for Brits only)
>>Did you see where some guy last year was done for speeding
>>in a Reliant Robin? Clocked 105 mph!
>>Top that, Del Boy.
>> 
> 
> I heard (don't know if it is true though) that somebody was done for
> doing 110 mph along the M4 - the only thing was he was being towed!
> 
> Can you imagine it, you breakdown on the motorway and this nice kind man
> stops to give you a hand and offers you a tow .....
> 
> Pete
Brilliant idea for a new motor sport though...
Drag strip Reliant Robins, or Auto Cross with Robins only....
Hmmm... Tractor pulls with Robins pulling specially weighted Prams (that's bay
carriages for the Atlantically-impaired)
DNC.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: fenton@scs.carleton.ca (Greg Fenton)
Subject: Re: Left vs Right 
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carleton University, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 08:28:13 GMT

In article <wp#381g@rpi.edu> nittab@aix.rpi.edu (Bhima Nitta) writes:
>In article <1993Jan8.234031.17257@pony.Ingres.COM> rog@Ingres.COM (Roger Taranto) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan5.230157.3691@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> s9000289@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au (Cameron Hooper) writes:
>>>Here is proof that it is natural to drive on the left hand side of the
>>>road.
>>
>>And then guns were invented.  Since it is easier to fire across your
>>body and most people are right-handed, if you want to shoot someone
>
>...why is it easier to fire across the body ? I don't see any ergonomic
>advantage...I have a vague memory of an explanation for driving on the right 
>side, but this isn't it.
>
>>coming from the other direction, you'd better be riding on the righthand
>       

what an incredibly stupid reason for right-hand drive...so you can shoot someone . Only in the USA, where it is your god-given right to blow someone's head off for smiling at your cat, could someone think of such a reprehensible thing. My, aren't we omniscient! It's no small wonder I wake up in the morning and say to  myself: "Thank God I'm not an American!"

trev  a.k.a. tefenton@108.watstar.uwaterloo.ca

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: julie@eddie.jpl.nasa.gov (Julie Kangas)
Subject: Re: Speaking of stupid commercials...
Organization: Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, CA
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 20:50:00 GMT

In article <19219@mindlink.bc.ca> Jack_Webb@mindlink.bc.ca (Jack Webb) writes:
>>
>> >who believe that if it has a French name it must be good?
>
>Yes, and there are indeed many people on the planet who still believe that a
>french name implies good stuff... look at all the Canadian wines with French
>names...

Or how about Spanish-sounding names for housing tracks in the Southwest?
Tucson AZ passed a city ordinance that housing developments named
in Spanish had to make sense and not be too stupid.  This was after a 
development called "Rancho sin vachas"* was completed.


*Ranch without cows.  (and pardon my spelling of it.  It's been a while)


Julie
DISCLAIMER:  All opinions here belong to my cat and no one else
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jimlynch@netcom.com (Jim Lynch)
Subject: Re: You know you've been partying too long ...
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 00:38:02 GMT

when you try to brush something off of your shoulder and 
you discover that it's the floor.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Carr-C10973@email.comm.mot.com (Eric Carr)
Subject: Re: scientist joke list
Organization: Motorola LMPS Engineering
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 13:11:30 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor

In article <mueller.726481660@fi>, mueller@iwf.mabp.ethz.ch (Mueller Beat)
wrote:
> 
> i am looking for a list which contains jokes about scientists of the
> typus : 'a mathematician, an engineer and a physicist...'
> 
> is there a ftp-site where i can get that stuff from or a similar
> possibilty?
> 
> tx in advance
> 
> zosh

A physicist and a mathematician were trying to determine the height of a
flagpole one day.  The physicist wanted to weigh the flagpole and determine
the height based on the mass, but didn't have a scale.  The mathematician
wanted to measure the flagpole's shadow and angle of the sun off the
horizon, but it was a cloudy day.  An engineer comes along, lays the pole
flat on the ground and measures it that way.  After the engineer leaves,
the mathematician starts to laugh and says to the physicist, "Typical
stupid engineer!  We wanted the height and he gives us the length!"        
                            
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: merlyn@digibd.digibd.com (Merlyn LeRoy)
Subject: Re: Need a HUGE smiley
Organization: DigiBoard, Incorporated, Eden Prairie,MN
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 02:01:17 GMT

sanjiv@cse.unl.edu (Sanjiv K. Bhatia) writes:
>A friend asked me for a smiley that fills at least a screen.  

Well, here's something I've seen before:

A fractal smiley of order 2
        
    :-)                 :-)
    :-)                  :-)
                          :-)
           :-):-):-)      :-)
                          :-)
    :-)                  :-)
    :-)                 :-)

An order 3 should be pretty big...

---
Merlyn LeRoy
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
From: goldberg@techunix.technion.ac.il (Jacques Goldberg)
Subject: Re: Seriously, a joke.
Organization: Technion, Israel Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 10:16:09 GMT

daniel@mertwig.uucp (Daniel Drucker) writes:

>If you don't want to be offended, don't read it. 
  
    But then, print in BIG letters    DBR    on top of it. You know, like
    on very secret documents which you are required to Destroy Before Reading.
>Daniel Drucker        N2SXX       Coconut seashells whispering to me
    Jacques
Xref: sparky rec.humor:37315 soc.religion.quaker:378 soc.culture.celtic:8521 soc.culture.jewish:24505
From: yoparish@iiic.ethz.ch (Yoav Ilan Haim Parish)
Subject: ftp jokes
Originator: yoparish@a11
Organization: Dept. Informatik, Swiss Federal Institute of Technology (ETH)
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 13:53:21 GMT

Hello all

could someone please send me a list of ftp-sites for jokes 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rossi@opal.cs.tu-berlin.de (Oliver Rosenkranz)
Subject: Re: Sex Man Pages
Content-Type: text/plain
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Organization: Techn. University of Berlin, Germany
Mime-Version: 1.0
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 14:30:51 GMT

This is really great stuff.
Personally I own the following 3 funny manual pages :

Sex
Condom
Celibay

Are there other man pages out there ???
Who has them or where can I ftp them ?
If you have some for your own, please post them here !!!!

Thank you in advance...

-==rossi==--
rossi@cs.tu-berlin.de


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu (John Mechalas)
Subject: Re: Men jokes
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 20:06:28 GMT

In article <C0p859.4zD@mach1.wlu.ca> macl6441@mach1.wlu.ca (macleod heather) writes:
>Just found this list of men jokes!  Hope you like them!  (No flames, please!
>I've got enough penpals!!)
> 
>Q. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
>A. So men can understand them.
>
>Q. What's the difference between government bonds and men?
>A. Bonds mature.

[rest deleted]

I just can't resist this one....  :)


   Q:  Why do men pass gas more than women?
   A:  Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.


:)  :)  :)

-- 
John Mechalas                      | If you think my opinions are Purdue's, then
mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu      |      you vastly overestimate my importance.
Purdue University Computing Center |             Help put a ban on censorship :)
General Consulting                 |                       #include disclaimer.h
Xref: sparky rec.humor:37394 soc.religion.quaker:381 soc.culture.celtic:8555 soc.culture.jewish:24570
From: daniel@mertwig.uucp (Daniel Drucker)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: Seriously, a joke.
Date: Mon, 04 Jan 93 16:40:47 EST
Reply-To: daniel%mertwig@uunet.uu.net  (Daniel Drucker)
Organization: Abnormalities of Reality

noonan@tolkin.enet.dec.com (Enoperiod) writes:

> 
> In article <725679841snx@crynwr.com>, nelson@crynwr.com (Russell Nelson) writ
> >A Quaker is someone who can buy from a Jew, sell to a Scot, and still
> >make money.
> > 
> >-russ <nelson@crynwr.com> What canst *thou* say?
> 
>          Well, *this* is seriously offensive.  

If you don't want to be offended, don't read it. I'm jewish...it
doesn't offend me. Then again neither does the slow murder of dogs.
Hmm.. where did that come from?


--
Daniel Drucker        N2SXX       Coconut seashells whispering to me
daniel%mertwig@uunet.uu.net         "Forever, forever, my Coda..."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: garrett@Ingres.COM (WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS)
Subject: Re: Generic Star Trek Drinking Game
Summary: Drunks  
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 12 Jan 93 03:56:35 GMT

In article <C0pH1B.Bz1@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu (John Mechalas)               writes...
>Drinking game for Deep Space 9:
> 
>   Take a drink every time "an alien force takes over" the space station,
> forcing the crew to "fight for their lives".
> 
>Drinking game for Star Trek the Next Generation:
> 
>   Replace the words "space station" with "Enterprise"
> 
At that rate you'll never get to see the end of ANY of the shows.

>John Mechalas                      | If you think my opinions are Purdue's, then
>mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu      |      you vastly overestimate my importance.

-Garrett
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: tjg01@thdhub.HomeDepot.COM (Terry Gardner)
Subject: PENIX needed
Organization: Home Depot USA, Inc.
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 18:27:12 GMT
Distribution: rec

Does any have the PENIX man pages? Is there an ftp site for them?
Could someone post them? Could I borrow a dollar?

--
terry@HomeDepot.COM                      (404) 433-8211x5124 or (404) 941-8304
Home Depot, USA Corporate Office, Atlanta, GA
From: mckeonj@ul.ie
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Salvation Army
Date: 5 Jan 93 09:46:21 GMT
Organization: University of Limerick, Ireland

In article <reid.20.725135027@ucs.indiana.edu>, reid@ucs.indiana.edu (Frank Reid) writes:
> The Salvation Army should make a deal with prostitutes during the
> Christmas season:  If some women are going to stand on street
> corners anyway, they might as well ring bells.
> 
> [No disrespect implied--  I greatly admire the Salavation Army for
> being a non-phony charity.]
Such a proceeding would in fact be well within the SA policies:
their founder, General Booth, on being criticised for setting
hymns to pop tunes, said:
"Why should the Devil have all the best tunes?"
-- 
"Ich am of Irlonde" (medieval fragment used by Yeats)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
John McKeon, Material Science Dept. University of Limerick, Ireland
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: eric@tantalus.nrl.navy.mil (Eric Youngdale)
Subject: Re: Computer Science Humorous Posting
Organization: Naval Research Laboratory
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 22:20:46 GMT

In article <Jan04.195631.19242@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU> wallacen@ColoState.EDU writes:
>ATTENTION ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS:
>
>
>Here are the OPCODES for the new "Walrus 158000" Microprocessor. Please
>be sure to use them correctly when programming for this chip:
>
>BBI  Branch on Burned-out Indicator
>BPO  Branch on Power Off
>[...]
>As this chip is still in development, other useful opcodes are solicited...
>:):):):)

EJZ   Excrement and jump on zero

-- 
Eric Youngdale
From: pay@tention.Eng.Sun.COM (David Gibbs)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: California
Date: 7 Jan 93 20:51:38 GMT
Reply-To: pay@tention.Eng.Sun.COM
Distribution: usa
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: tention

In article 25975@mcshub.dcss.mcmaster.ca, Chris O'Donovan <odonovan@physun.physics.mcmaster.ca> () writes:
>Q: Why is California like a breakfast cerial?
>
>A: Once you take out the fruits and the nuts, all you
>left with is the flakes.

A2: Once you take out the fruits, nuts, and flakes; all you
   are left with is the native born Californians!
From: obrien@acf3.nyu.edu (Chief O'Brien)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: funny names
Date: 9 Jan 93 01:06:26 GMT
Organization: DON'T MESS WITH THE O(BRIEN), Inc.

tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry) writes:
>That   guy with amy fischer - WHAT was his name?

Buttafuco  (I think.. or something along those lines).

--
Julia R. O'Brien	  -*- -*- -*-	              obrien@acf3.nyu.edu      
New York University	     -*- -*- -*-	obrien@acfcluster.nyu.edu
Academic Computing Facility	-*- -*- -*-	          IRCnick: OBRIEN      
  -*- -*- -*-  DON'T MESS WITH THE O(BRIEN), Inc. (c) 1992  -*- -*- -*-
From: dodd@OES.ORST.EDU (Stirling S. Dodd)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Date: 11 Jan 1993 15:17:39 GMT
Organization: Who's Organized?
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: oes.orst.edu

>In article <1993Jan9.183537.1168@athena.mit.edu>, dmchamb@athena.mit.edu (Dawn M Chamberlain) writes:
>> There was a family of mostly doctors who used to live down the street from me,
>> last name Coffin - another encouraging name!  Also, some one who lives in my dorm
>> is named Justin Payne.
>> 
>> Dawn Chamberlain
>> dmchamb@athena.mit.edu


Your own name is interesting: Morning Bedroom Past tense of laid.

Hmmm.

8*)
-- 
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
S Dod^2  |   "Do what you do but know why you're doing it"---GBH
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
From: ahummel@ems.cdc.com (H. Austin Hummel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Date: 8 Jan 93 20:13:57 GMT
Reply-To: ahummel@ems.cdc.com
Organization: Empros Systems International, a division of CDC

In article <1993Jan8.112850.7152@gw.wmich.edu>, 123paszek@gw.wmich.edu writes:
|> 
|> 
|> 
|> The scene is an autobahn somewhere in Germany.  A shiny new Mercedes is
|> driving along at a steady 100 km/h.  Suddenly, a small Mini-Cooper drives up
|> next to it.  The Mini's driver rolls down his window, and starts yelling
|> "Hey, do you know anything about the Mini?".  The annoyed Mercedes owner
|> ignores the plebian car and its driver, and accelerates to 150 km/h.  The
|> Mini  catches up and its driver repeats the question.  The Mercedes speeds
|> up to 200 km/h.  So does the mini, and the scene repeats itself again. So the
|> Mercedes, its engine beginning to strain, accelerates to 250 km/h.  The
|> incredulous Mercedes driver sees the Mini drive up on the side again.  The
|> driver again yells "Do you know anything about the Mini?".  The Mercedes
|> owner, by now ready to cry, yells back, "Yes! Yes! I know a little about the
|> Mini-Cooper".   The  Mini driver in a confused and exasperated voice, cries,
|> "Good! Can you tell me where the hell is the second gear on this thing?"

Song from 1956 "Little Nash Rambler"  (except Cadillac and Nash Rambler)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jobyl@microsoft.com (Joby Lafky)
Subject: Skiers
Date: 10 Jan 93 00:08:33 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corporation

Skier: One who pays an arm and a leg for the opportunity to break them.  
Newsgroups: rec.humor