HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: A tale which kneeds telling
Summary: Warning, warning, danger Will Robinson!!
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 01:24:01 GMT

Danger Mouse exchanges a dollar coin for a tall glass of cold milk.
"Ta, Mike. Say, did I ever tell you the story about the guy who was
looking for a job in a stand-up comedy club?"

Mike rolls his eyes. "No, DM. Tell us the story about the guy who was
looking for a job in a stand-up comedy club... I know I'm gonna regret
this..."

"Ahem!" DM clears his throat and a few curious patrons tune in to listen.

"Well, there was this stand-up comedy club, the _a_la_Bamba_, and it had
a famous reputation for having the best comedians in the country. Part of
the reason that it was so famous was that it not only catered to people
who could hear the jokes during the stand-up routines, but also to deaf
people.

"This was accomplished by the simple expedient of enforcing the rule that
all of the comics employed by the club had to have their best joke tattooed
on to their right kneecap. During their routine, a specially designed camera
would zoom in on the exposed right knee and send a picture of the text of
the joke to a TV screen mounted above the stage.

"This was easy enough for the hearing audience to ignore, but meant that
any deaf people in the crowd could read the final joke and erupt into
laughter just as the full comic routine was finishing. A kind of knee-joke
reaction, if you will.

"Anyway, one day the club manager called one of his employees into the
office. 'Jake', he said, 'I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. One of
our deaf customers was offended by your joke the other night, and reported
it to the Decent Jokes Board. They've decided to ban your joke from being
told in public. Because of our employee policy, that means I have to fire
you. But good luck with finding another job. Your experience here should
make you a valuable asset to any other comedy club.'

"So, dejected, Jake left the _a_la_Bamba_. He decided to apply for a
position at another place across town and, within a week, he was granted
an interview. The manager called him into her office and began the
interview:

" 'Jake, is it? My name's Susannah, pleased to meet you. Now, I see on
your application that you have some experience at stand-up comedy. Could
you please give me some idea of your credentials, and the reason you left
your last job?'

"To which Jake replied:

" 'Oh, Susannah, won't you hire me, for I come from _a_la_Bamba_ with a
banned joke on my knee.' "

DM takes a sip of milk while this sinks in... then ducks!

- Danger Mouse.
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason))
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Why 9! = 362,880
Date: 9 Oct 92 15:45:22 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture

Jason decides to explain the mathematical joke on Kitten's recent post. 

"Kitten, when a mathemetician writes a number followed by an excalamation
point, that is the notation for the -factorial- of that number. It is
usually a function found on scientific calculators, where it is represented
as x! on the keys. Don't feel bad about not getting the joke. It's been so
long since I had any reason to use factorial notation, that I had to look
it up in an encyclopedia to get the definition. I knew what it was called,
but couldn't remember how it was derived. I used to just get it from my
calculator when I needed it. The factorial of a number is defined as the
product of all positive integers less than or equal to that number.
Therefore, 9! is equal to 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6 x 7 x 8 x 9, or 362,880. I
understand it is used in solving polynomial equations and the like. Any
math majors out there care to clarify the matter further?"

Jason
------------------------------------
Everybody sing! "We all live in a yellow subroutine . .
"
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: ac@cheshire.oxy.edu (Aileen Cho)
Subject: Re: Words
Organization: Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA.  USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 08:47:19 GMT



 Speaking of race terms...
   I mind it less when an elderly lady standing next to me in the checkout
line says "Orientals have healthy diets," than when someone else says,
"All those _Asians_..." I don't care so much what the word is as what the
expression behind the word is. Sure, I prefer Asian American, but I'm not
gonna fuss and fret if someone spells it with a hyphen. Actions speak
louder than words.
   Japanese have sworn I was Japanese, Koreans have thought I was Chinese,
Chinese have thought I was Chinese or Japanese. Hawaiians have thought I
was a native. I've also been thought Vietnamese, Philipino, Eskimo, and
Amerasian. 
  No dudes, no interesting combos, just a Korean California girl with a 
pseudo Valleygirl-Latina-stuffy English major accent, depending where I
am.  But I always thought it was neat to be mistaken for so many different
ethnicities. Even been thought sisters with friends who are mixes of Latino
and Asian bloods. You see, where I grew up all ethnicities and mixes thereof
were so common that the whole deal of identities was a light-hearted thing
to talk about--not full of heavy-handed PC. Of course we were just naive
high school kids who didn't know about the problems race and ethnicity are
everywhere else in the world. Knowledge can be a disillusioning thing.
                                           Cheers,
                                                 D'run'r 
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: Words
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 02:57:43 GMT

In article <Bw3y1u.B74@news.cso.uiuc.edu> trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski) writes:
>didi (as identified by giggle)
>
>>{  Giggle!  This could be interesting ... the battle of the HUGS!  }
>
>"but didi," giggles kitten..."isn't the phrase 'battle of the hugs'
>oxymoronic?"  (grin....no offense intended, dear deed)

Liralen smiles a slightly wry smile and says softly,

	     "I will not play
	       at tug o' war.
            I'd rather play at
		hug o' war.
            Where everyone hugs
	      instead of tugs.
           Where everyone giggles
	    and rolls on the rug.
	   Where everyone kisses
	     and everyone grins,
	    and everyone cuddles,
	     and everyone wins."

			  -- Shel Silverstein

"It was given me by a patron of this Place, and while I feel a little
silly saying it.  It doesn't hurt to be a little silly."  She grins.
"Thanks, and I'm sorry I forgot who gave it to me, though it might have
been the Tabbifly or Caithelin or the Tragically Hip Waif... so, perhaps,
I'll think it's from all of them, and that's O.K., too.  I guess I think
it's appropriate."
----
Liralen Li
li@inigo.Data-IO.com
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: click!
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 01:10:00 GMT

susan:
>>Habit?  You mean that there are people who actually expect you to
>>use that phrase?  Yikes...

aahz:
>Yup.  Depending on your physical location and your social/work group, it
>can be easy to forget that many other people lie under the shadow of
>Political Correctness.  I don't want to start a debate on the subject,
>but PCness definitely exists, although the threat of it is usually worse
>than the reality.
>-- 
>    

kitten:
that's what i just said.....:)

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: moh2@quads.uchicago.edu (Kateri/Mary Anne)
Subject: Halloween Gathering - please e-mail responses!
Reply-To: moh2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 16:45:04 GMT

My system is being really mean about letting me into Callahan's, so
please,
please,
please e-mail your responses.

Once again:

All are invited to:

Midwest Halloween Gathering!

At Kateri's place, October 30-November 1st!

Costumes optional, crash-space and probably at least one brunch
provided.

There's a way cool party being held at a local sf bookstore - if
people want to go, we can try to organize it.

So far I've heard from:
Dancer (David Mortman)
Snark (Paul Estin)
COAN (Matt Ryan)
Meta (Bill Hazelrig)
C-Hawk (Palmer David) - (from out in Ohio somewhere :-)

and tentative maybes from:
Toothpick (Debbie Peterson)
and P'relan (James Walden)

So where are:  Crazyman, Ray, Caithelin, Glen, Horse, kitten, t.c.,
and the many others who regularly come to the amazingly exciting
Midwest Gatherings?  Not to mention all the lurkers and newbies???

Don't y'all love me anymore?

Surely *someone* wants to play Encore again?  (No, please don't run
away!  I'll hide it, I'll burn it, I promise!)

So talk to me guys....

 - Kateri
moh2@midway.uchicago.edu

-- 
The autumn leaves are falling like rain.
Although my neighbors are all barbarians,
And you, you are a thousand miles away,
There are always two cups at my table.		 - A T'ang Dynasty poem
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: uribe@jarthur.claremont.edu (Lydia Uribe)
Subject: Re: In honor of actually reading a few messages in this group again...
Organization: Claremont Shelter for Maladjusted Singers
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 16:28:00 GMT

In article <1992Oct8.233320.14028@muddcs.claremont.edu> dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu (David Green) writes:

>I know I don't post that often, but... I'm another LA-area person who at least
>pops up once in a while.  Heck, I even post off the same machine Soprano does.
>:)

Soprano blushes brightly.  "Oops!  Sorry about that...." ;-)

>dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu				 David "Mishael" Green

					Soprano

"You're more than beginning -- you're learning to fly;
 You feel like you're falling, but it passes in time...."
			"From Me to You", Janis Ian
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Soprano (Lydia M. Uribe)                      uribe@jarthur.claremont.edu |
| Claremont, CA                                  uribe@hmcvax.claremont.edu |
|           Cats, quilts and diving -- what more could anyone ask?          |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Redheads
Date: 11 Oct 1992 20:14:11 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <9228514.15568@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU>, baillie@munta.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Stephen Baillie) writes:
=>+--------------------------+----------------------------------------------+ 
=>|   "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, |
=>| thou canst not then be false to any man..."  --William Shakespeare      |
=>+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
=
=Who?

Polonius, if I recall correctly.  The same character who advised "Neither a
borrower nor lender be...."  It amazes me that so many people treat these
things as useful proverbs, considering the character overall.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: A tale which kneeds telling
From: DPERRY@eagle.wesleyan.edu (DAVID M. PERRY)
Date: 16 Oct 92 12:06:03 EDT
Distribution: world
Organization: Wesleyan University
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.20In-Reply-To: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU's message of Thu, 15 Oct 1992 01:24:01 GMTLines: 17

In <1992Oct15.012401.21128@ucc.su.OZ.AU> mar@physics.su.OZ.AU writes:

...

> " 'Oh, Susannah, won't you hire me, for I come from _a_la_Bamba_ with a
> banned joke on my knee.' "
> 
> DM takes a sip of milk while this sinks in... then ducks!

"Hey DM," says Jack Crow who has been sitting in a corner being miserable and
being comforted by a number of people.  "You just made me laugh for the first
time in a few days.  Thanks."


One of Jack's Crows.

"I'll be back in a minute"--Godot.
From: wyang@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (William D Yang)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Potstickers
Keywords: recipe?
Date: 11 Oct 92 21:07:47 GMT
Distribution: alt.callahans
Organization: The Ohio State University

In article <1992Oct8.212851.29742@data-io.com> li@Data-IO.COM (Liralen Li) writes:

[A recipe for Potstickers (Goyza) mostly deleted]...

> a bunch of cabbage leaves
> 12 oz frozen spinich

You use both?  Dad always made 'em with only cabbage.
 
> Cooking
> -------
> 
> put a thin layer of vegetable oil on the bottom of the pan.  Put a layer of
> potstickers in the pan, bottom side down.  Fill the pan to about half the
> height of the potstickers with water.  Add a couple of tablespoon sized
> dallops of cider vineger (<<-- necessary!! for CRUNCH) to the water.  Cook
> on high until the water is mostly gone, reduce temperature to about pancake
> level, and then cook until the bottom is browned to your liking.

Many resturaunts serve a sauce with Potstickers -- I suggest
combinining one part vinegar, two parts soy sauce, two parts water,
some sugar, and a touch of sesame oil for the sauce.  Some people like
to add szechuan pepper oil (I do it on occasion, when I'm in the
mood).  As for a hint to getting potstickers off the bottom of the
pan, I suggest using a heavy NON-ALUMINUM pan, that you can use a
metal spatula on.  (It always works when I do it), or a high quality
non-stick (teflon-type) pan.  These usually work out pretty well, for
me.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien Saunders)
Subject: Re: Words
Organization: University of Tasmania, Australia
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 10:54:45 GMT

In article <u906451.719108746@bruny>, u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien Saunders) writes:
> 
> rich@theophilus.msfc.nasa.gov (Rich Krum) writes:
> 
> >Of course, the troll bounces up to insert more confusion.
> 
> >And of course, our sons are accused of looking like me--what a cheap shot!
> Troll,
> you think you have problems my brother gets accused of looking like me or I
> get the vice versa. That is one of the problems of having a twin brother.
> 
> Damien.
> 
> --
> "The best defence against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off."
>                 British Army Journal 1949
> Damien Saunders (Gunnar Njalsson SCA) Email:u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au
> 
> More self quoting
Does anyone know know to set the follow-up to an article to default at world?
Damien.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rich@theophilus.msfc.nasa.gov (Rich Krum)
Subject: Re: Failure
Reply-To: rich@theophilus.msfc.nasa.gov
Organization: Boeing Computer Support Services
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 13:44:25 GMT

In article 122420148@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM, daq@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom) writes:
>In alt.callahans, DPERRY@eagle.wesleyan.edu (DAVID M. PERRY) writes:
>
>> 	I realized just what i had said and the effect it had, and we managed
>> to start talking, but the trust was gone. It may always be gone.
>
>It sounds like the issues are pretty big.  A point of advice, however,
>if you are eventually going to live with someone, you are going to HAVE to
>find a way to get past the occasional insensitivity.  If you are
>with someone who is not willing to work through it, you may not
>succeed.  These things happen, and if you have commitment, you 
>will just have to learn to get over it and not blow it out of
>proportion.  Trust is a complex thing.
>


One thing that the Troll has learned (and he can be very clueless with people)
is that the Dragon Lady may forgive, but she may not forget.  Dumb moves will be
remembered the next time you make one.  The important thing is to avoid getting
hung up about the past errors--go forth and make new ones--.  Try to avoid the 
dumb moves, but realize that you are going to make them.  Work out a mechanism
to get past the crisis, and at least TRY to avoid repeats.

CODGER ALERT---CODGER ALERT---CODGER ALERT---CODGER ALERT

The Troll and the Dragon Lady have been successful at this stuff for 20+ years.
We still fight like cats and dogs upon occasion, then act like newlyweds later---
(use your OWN imagination)--the basic techniqu is to never go to sleep still mad 
at each other. (and we can get away with breaking that rule too---) :>) :>)!

A solid relationship takes time, and much mutual investment--about 110%+ from
each of you.

END ALERT--

Go on from here, just try to avoid looking back too much--that just gets you hit
on the head from in front--

--rich AKA the Boss Troll
---
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"My opinions are my own, and my employer (Boeing Computer Support Services)
 denies any responsibility for me, all opinions in general, and anything 
 I may say, do, or be otherwise associated with outside of work for them.
 -- Use at your own risk, your mileage may vary, no news is good news."

 E-MAIL REPLY TO:  rich@troll1.msfc.nasa.gov     PLEASE KEEP IT "G" RATED
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hollombe@polymath.tti.com (The Polymath)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Another Introduction
Date: 9 Oct 92 02:57:10 GMT
Organization: The Cat Factory

In article <1992Oct8.003657.14209@ra.msstate.edu> jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce) writes:
}In article <2ad35744.kf8nh@kf8nh.UUCP> "Brandon S. Allbery" <allbery@ncoast.org> writes:
}>(P.S.  Not to mention that "nuclear" is pronounced the way it's spelled, and
}>*I* sure as heck don't spell it "nucular".  ...sigh, now I'm started on
}>linguistic flames.  When will I learn????)
}
}  <chuckle> "Have you ever been to Texas ? Back when I was a Theatrical Design
}Major, my theater voice instructor commented that she had heard people say such
}things over the year as 'winder' for 'window' , but Texans instead of adding
}a letter or two would add syllables !!! She told us that in Texas the word
}s**t has three syllables ! Its a good thing I lost my Texas accent, well its
}softened somewhat, otherwise most people would find my talking hard to
}understand..." Dreamy Jim.

"Heck, Texans have whole words that don't appear in any other state.
For example:

	ratcheer -- a description of where something is.
		    'Where is it?'  'It's ratcheer.'

	ouchonder -- opposite of ratcheer.
		     'If it ain't ratcheer it must be ouchonder.'

	jeetyet? -- 'Have you had any food?'

	nahlesqueet -- 'Nope.  Let's get something to eat.'

"And so on ..." (-:{

The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, M.A., CDP, aka: hollombe@polymath.tti.com)
Head Robot Wrangler at Citicorp                   Turn the rascals out!
3100 Ocean Park Blvd.   (310) 450-9111, x2483     No incumbents in '92!
Santa Monica, CA  90405
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Literary Research
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 04:45:03 GMT

"Okay, people, here's your chance to help out Nicole do some research for her
latest...well, not her latest, but the last one she was working on(second
draft, actually)before her current one...never mind.  Anyway, it's called
Running On Instinct(been in my .sig for a few days), it's 660+ pages long,
and there's a few things we're not sure about...

"1.  What are normal speed limits in Michigan?  Is it still 55, or is that
a thing of the past?  (I heard somewhere that Interstates were up to 65, which
is more up to Canadian speeds.)

"2.  For the Australians--we have an Australian character, who keeps using
colourful Australian language so that we remember he's Australian.  The problem
is, the colourful Australian language is from a National Geographic article
a few years back.  To avoid having the Australian in the book(we'll call him
"Ryan", for short, 'cause that's his name)talk in a manner guaranteed either
to send real Aussies into fits of paroxysmic laughter or disgust, please help
supply more authentic words and phrases!

"For now, he's from Melbourne, but if it would be easier to change that than
his dialect if the two don't match, that can be changed.  Here are the major
words he uses(they all sound silly to me, which is why I wanted to be doubly
sure that they're right before using them, but then I come from a country that
calls its dollar coin a "loonie"):

"'Bonzer' as an expression of approval.

"'Dinkum' and 'dinki-di' as general synonyms for 'okay' or 'on the level'.

"'Fossick' as in to search for minerals(specifically opals--are opals that
common in Australia?)

"And surely there's a colourful Australian expression for 'bushed', i.e.
tired...

"All the above are listed in my dictionary as Australian or Chiefly Australian
with definitions approximating those given, but I'd like to double-check.
(Especially on 'dinki-di', which isn't in the dictionary.)  Thank you for your
consideration, and maybe you'll get mentioned somewhere if the thing ever
gets published..."

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"I'm a few bricks short of a load, but a full load always hurt my back."
   ---Barenaked Ladies
Current Album--The Best of Marianne Faithfull
Current Read--Evelyn Waugh:The Loved One
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: The United Way
Date: 15 Oct 1992 03:11:08 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <1992Oct14.213615.12614@bmerh85.bnr.ca>, sjane@bmers248.bnr.ca (sjs) writes:
>A while back, folks in here were saying that they would not give money to the
>United Way because they couldn't be sure it would go where they wanted it to.  
>I wrote to the United Way office in Ottawa-Carleton asking how they distributed
>the money & here is their reply (summarized).

StM says, "I'll have to look at this sometime when I'm willing to spend more
than 2 minutes anaylyzing it to figure out exactly how to describe the
allocation mechanism (the way sjane presented it, while perfectly accurate,
isn't, as far as I can tell, concise), but one thing is immediately clear:  The
allocation mechanism is *NOT* the one a naive person would assume, based on UW's
campaign in the U.S.   More on this later.  In the meantime, I still advocate
MY technique:  Look for charities/causes you support, and donate to them
directly.  Cut out the costs of the middle man."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: ac@cheshire.oxy.edu (Aileen Cho)
Subject: oh yeah...wait...
Organization: Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA.  USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 08:50:42 GMT



How do you change the distribution line?
                                        sorry,
                                            --ac
                                              (aka d'runner)

Newsgroups: alt.callahans