HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: img@aisb.ed.ac.uk (Ian Green)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Mixed Up Movie Titles
Date: 30 Sep 92 19:55:21 GMT
	<IejQpWy00WBO428X8y@andrew.cmu.edu>
	<1992Sep21.174134.29551@cs.wisc.edu>
	<1992Sep22.061822.10075@noose.ecn.purdue.edu>
	<1992Sep24.151248.7362W@viper.edb.tih.no>
Organization: Department of Artificial Intelligence, University of Edinburgh

On 24 Sep 92 15:12:43 GMT, terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b) said:
> Happiness is a warm gun - (Bluejackets)
Who are the Bluejackets?  Before or after The Beatles?

-ian

> Terje Johansen at Trondheim College of Engineering, Norway.

> Be careful when you look into the abyss...because if you
> look too long, the abyss will also look into you. - Nietzche
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jkreibic@sumter.cso.uiuc.edu (Jay Arnold Kreibich)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 20:09:46 GMT

In article <5340@balrog.ctron.com> smith@ctron.com (Larry Smith) writes:
> In article <9227512.13379@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU>, matthias@ecr.mu.oz.au  
(Matthias_Markus LANG) writes:
> >Close. The Macintosh is a type of Apple. Personally, though, I think  
Apple
> >were suffering memory loss.. it should have been called a Granny Smith!
> 
> I guess no one ever told you what the "gs" stands for in Apple II/gs,  
hmmm?


  Yes they did--   Graphics /  Sound

-j
From: g580785c@edinboro.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: disabled humor 2
Date: 30 Sep 92 15:25:01 GMT
Organization: Edinboro University of Pennsylvania


What do you call a quadripelegic on a door step?























				Matt
From: svb@svb.guug.de (Sebastian v. Bomhard)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Find the Bug
Date: 3 Oct 92 14:11:39 GMT
Organization: Brodersen + Bomhard GmbH

In article <1992Oct1.164635.19852@inesc.pt> usenet@inesc.pt (USENET News System) writes:
>
>	The following deduction has a bug. C if u can figure where...

[ riddle deleted ]

>       Where is the missing $ ???

The Answer is:

  TAX!!!! (It's always tax, when money vanishes magically)

:-)

  -svb.
-- 
Sebastian v. Bomhard  <svb@guug.de>,        Brodersen & Bomhard GmbH
 >>>> UNIX/Datenbanken/Netzwerke: Planung/Loesungen/Schulungen <<<<
St.-Anna-Str. 13, D-W-8000 Muenchen 22 (Lehel),        +49-89-298934
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: maven@lerc.nasa.gov (Larry Fishbach)
Subject: Buzzword generators
Keywords: Buzzwords
Reply-To: maven@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center, Cleveland, OH
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 17:33:42 GMT


Does anyoene out there have what used to be known as a buzzword
generator.  It's 3 columns of expressions which when combined in
random order generate expressions which sound great but are
meaningless.   Thanks for any help.
-- 
*******************************************************************************
maven@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov   Larry Fishbach @ NASA Lewis Cleveland Ohio
"Everything here is my own opinion"   Quoth the Maven "Evermore"
*******************************************************************************
From: rajain@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: 'n Baie-baie snaaksie grappie
Date: 2 Oct 92 19:14:50 GMT

In article <hloedolf.718052263@rkw-risc>, hloedolf@rkw-risc.cs.up.ac.za () writes:
> Hierdie is 'n baie snaaksie grappie.  Natuurlik wonder jy hoekom dit
> snaaks is, as jy nie wonder nie (gmmf) dan weet jy! lag-lag!
> 
> Ek wonder of jy dit so baie geniet as ek; ek lag my nog dood.  (miskien 
> moet ek nie te vinnig praat nie, dalk word ek gesluipmoord. (geassissineer)
> 
> aaahh, dit was goed.

	Is this ROT-13 or ....?????

> 
> -Li, your ally

  <sigh!> the folly!

> 
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> As jy hierdie kan lees dan is jy nie! - i.e. if you can read this, your'e not!
> 
> go ahead, flame away
From: c663712c@edinboro.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: ONE MORE BAD JOKE OF THE DAY
Date: 28 Sep 92 11:58:04 GMT
Organization: Edinboro University of Pennsylvania

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?


























   ....Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change..............
From: jm8x@vax5.cit.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: One liners from Norm on Cheers wanted
Date: 2 Oct 92 13:35:00 EDT
Distribution: rec
Organization: Cornell University

sorry I goofed on the subject line on the last letter.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage)
Subject: Amusing system messages
Organization: Monash University General Access Unix
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 02:32:01 GMT


The server I am now on (yoyo) say:

"Look upon my load average, ye IRC users, and despair!"
			Percy Bysshe Shelley, modified by korg and kim

Cheers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David Bromage       brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au   : 
Monash University                                : "I think thinking is 
Clayton, Victoria   				 :  so important"
 Australia                                       : 	-Baldrick
 						 :   
     May the source be with you			 :     
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
	All views expressed are my own except those which conflict with
	my personal opinions.


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hlow@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Handel Low)
Subject: Re:  What makes You go HHHmmmmmmm!!!!
Distribution: na
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 92 16:26:40 EDT

In article <92271.133019ADVI8737@RyeVm.Ryerson.Ca> <ADVI8737@RyeVm.Ryerson.Ca> writes:
>COURIOUS AS TO WHAT MAKES PEOPLE GO hmmmmmmmm!!!!

The idea that there are people who find Arsenio Hall funny...

Hmmmmmmm...



handel "well I don't think so" low
(no offense)
From: jmunch@hertz.elee.calpoly.edu (John Munch)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Cascade the Flames of Love
Date: 2 Oct 92 02:48:50 GMT
Organization: California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo

In article <1992Sep30.131112.1929@spectrum.xerox.com> eradm@brahms.Berkeley.EDU (Craig Shergold) writes:
>In article <1992Sep29.210250.1996@newstand.syr.edu>, hlow@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Handel Low) writes:
>> 
>>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
>I suppose you think we really care!
Cascades are funny, just my fare!


John David Munch
"If it makes me smile, I want to read it here."
From: harley@engrhub.ucsb.edu (Hahn)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Signs in -- English?
Date: 27 Sep 92 05:42:30 GMT

In article <1992Sep26.104345.43365@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu> miner@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu writes:
>From an Air France bulletin dated Dec 1,1989.  Signs & notices
>written in English that were discovered around the world. 
>
>In a Tokyo hotel:
>
>Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.  If you are not a person
>to do such thing is please not to read notis.

... plus many other examples ...

All of this was taken directly, word for word,
from the book "Anguished English" by Richard Lederer.
The copyright is 1987 and it is, from there no doubt, that the
Air France person stole it.

ObJoke:
I wish that my room had a floor.
I don't care so much for a door
But this walking around 
With no feet on the ground
Is getting to be quite a bore.

(Stolen from Dan Shaw of Lawton Oklahoma.)
From: lumensa@lub001.lamar.edu (Dale Parish)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: amusing system errors
Date: 25 Sep 92 17:16:12 +1700
Organization: Lamar University - Beaumont


Reminded me of the guy in our outfit who'd made himself a custom paper
spike to fit over his terminal.  He transferred to a new job in a
different building and when he found he had a terminal of the same
model, he snuck in early one day and swiped the old paper spike to which
he'd grown attached.   The system went down that same morning about
startup time, and I got a call from the girl who'd replaced him at his
old job.

"My terminal's been broken!  You gotta come fix it-- it's EOM and I've
got gobbs of stuff to input!!!"

"What's been broken... " checking to see and sure enough, the system was
still off-line.

"Somebody broke off the antenna and it doesn't receive the computer
anymore."  And she was deadpan serious.  

Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
From: hees@cubic.com (Phil Hees)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: Cubic Toll Systems
Date: Sat, 03 Oct 92 05:51:24 GMT

lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:
>
> In article <0TuqRB2w165w@quest.UUCP> srhqla!quest!kdq writes:
> >Boinger@myamy.hacktic.nl (Paul Kolenbrander) writes:
> >
> >Yes, it must come as quite a shock for people who are used to having to
> >hit the reset button every few minutes to realize that most Mac owners
> >don't know where their power switch is.
> 
> Please tell me where the power switch on Mac owners is; there are a number
> of these people I want to switch off.
> 
> cjl

OK, Charles.  I'm a Mac owner and hacker.  On the other hand, I spend much
of my time on the Mac running telnet sessions to a Unix box where I hack
real-time assembler and C code.  So, am I one of the people you want to
switch off?  (And if so, which switch do I reach for? :)

BTW, I too cut my teeth on a PDP-8, and have greatly enjoyed your articles
to date (until the Mac-bashing started - but then again, I get somewhat
touchy at this hour of the morning. :)

--
Phil Hees
hees@cubic.com
"It's 5:00 AM: do you know where _your_ power switch is?"
From: vander@flab.fujitsu.co.jp (Mike van der Velden)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Purity Test Scores: Lowest
Date: 5 Oct 92 11:14:20 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu Laboratories Ltd., Kawasaki, Japan

In article <uaL2RB1w165w@quest.UUCP> kdq@quest.UUCP (Kevin D. Quitt) writes:
> On the original Rickett's House purity test 100 questions and before
> AIDS (many moons ago) I scored a 1 (because I hadn't raped anyone).
> One woman I knew scored a 0.  We got to know each *much* better after
> the test.  (Sort of a point-by- point recap.  Do you have any idea how
> long that takes?)

On the 500 and 1000 tests, and I believe also on the 5000 test, it is
impossible to score 0.  Several questions like "Have you ever
committed suicide?" kinda prevent it.  Unless your name is Oral
Roberts, I suppose.
 
--
Mike van der Velden
Distributed Systems Laboratory, Fujitsu Laboratories Ltd., Kawasaki, Japan
e-mail: vander@flab.fujitsu.co.jp

ps. If you send me a picture postcard      Mike van der Velden
    from your area to the address at       Fujitsu Unoki Dormitory, room 227
    right, I'll send you one from Tokyo.   2-17-18 Unoki, Ota-ku, Tokyo 146
    Postcards must be received by          Japan
    November 15, 1992
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mittle@siena.watson.ibm.com (Josh Mittleman)
Subject: Re: Yet another Tom Swifty
Date: Tue, 06 Oct 92 19:21:14 GMT
Organization: IBM T. J. Watson Research

> "No, you have to do it again", Tom iterated.

Even better:

"No, you have to do it again", reiterated Tom loopily.


The classic Tom-Swifty always includes an adverb; that's the stylistic
point in the original books that is being lampooned.  Ideally, the adverb
should contribute to the pun in the most obscure manner possible.  For
example:

"We've ratified the treaty; why don't you?" started Tom disarmingly.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.sf.misc
From: swaim@owlnet.rice.edu (Michael Parks Swaim)
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Organization: Rice University
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 04:41:01 GMT

>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF THIS DOESN'T STOP, IM GOING TO START THE WORST CASCADE EVER.
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHILE EATING THIS SLOP, I SEWED THE FIRST BROCADE BEAVER.
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>BILE FITTING RIG STOP, LIE SPEWED THIRST LIVER !!!!
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE, AT LEAST DELIVER...
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>>>WHO MAY I ATTRIBUTE TO THIS BEASTLY SLIVER?
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>>TO SPAY A LUTE IN A GREASY RIVER
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>DAMN CASCADERS THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>I WILL NOT CASCADE; NOPE, NO, NEVER
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A TRAIN?
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, IN THE RAIN?
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>>R2-D2 ON THE BRAIN?
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>>This cascade is damn insane!
>|> > >>>> > >>>>>And it's really getting lame!
>|> > >>>> > >>>>POST IN CAPS YOU WEIRDOS, WHAT ARE YOU DEAF ? !!!!!!!!!!!!
>|> > >>>> > >>>YOUVE RUINED MY RIGHT EAR, HOW 'BOUT THE LEFT?
>|> > >>>> > >>LEFT AT THE NEXT LIGHTS, UNLESS RED
>|> > >>>> > >THIS SILLY THING IS SOMETHING I DREAD, 
>|> > >>>> > >BETTER I SHOULD BE BUSY IN BED !
>|> > >>>> > WANKER, GIVE THY HAND A REST!
>|> > >>>> NAH! THIS AIN'T REC.HUMOR AT ITS BEST.
>|> > >>>SURELY YOU JEST?
>|> > >>THIS IS A TEST.
>|> > >SO BE OUR GUEST.
>|> > TESTING, TESTING, ONE TWO THREE.
>|> RETURN OF THE MONSTER CASCADE, HEE HEE HEE! 
>IF WISHES WERE HORSES THEN WHAT WOULD WE BE?
I'd be a GREAT BIG FLYING RUTABAGA!


Mike "META-x-zippy" Swaim


-- 
Mike Swaim            | Canada will become the next world power
swaim@owlnet.rice.edu | and they will work to ENSLAVE all the nations
Disclamer: I lie      | of your planet. -Ricardo
Cthulhu in '92! The stars are right!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: usenet@inesc.pt (USENET News System)
Subject: Re: Hello
Reply-To: jota@iguana.inesc.pt (Joao Pedro Martins)
Organization: INESC - Inst. Eng. Sistemas e Computadores, LISBOA, PORTUGAL.
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 14:49:34 GMT

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>>>Why not today.
>>> BTW... :-)
>>Throw the "C" manual away !
>I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
4 that, u gotta be brave...

----
 joao Pedro Martins, Lisboa, Portugal - jota@tutor.inesc.pt
 
 "Carpe Diem, she muttered, and laughed. We seize the day.	
  Well, sometimes, the day seizes back !" (--FORGOT--) 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi)
Subject: Re: Fanning the Flames of Hate
Reply-To: davidk@welch.jhu.edu
Organization: Welch Medical Library
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:49:33 GMT

In article 1929@spectrum.xerox.com, eradm@brahms.Berkeley.EDU (Craig Shergold) writes:
>In article <1992Sep29.210250.1996@newstand.syr.edu>, hlow@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Handel Low) writes:
>> 
>>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
>I suppose you think we really care!
I read this and simply stare...
From: cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz (Phil Ross)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request Purity Test!!!
Keywords: Barf
Date: Sat, 03 Oct 92 09:33:37 +1200
Distribution: world
Organization: The Hovel Bulletin Board System

little_re@lrc.edu writes:

> >>Could someone be so kind as to send me a copy of the infamous Purity test.
> >>Thanks.....
> > 
> > Again, if anyone wants a copy of this, mail their request to me,
> > TMA4@LEHIGH.EDU. I have the 500-question version.  Also, rumor has it there
> > a 1000 question version. If you have this, please mail it to me!
> 
> 
>     I have the 1000 question version.  If you want that, e-mail me and I'll
> send it to you.

And I have the 3.5 questions that were accidentally ommitted from the 1000
question version.  If you want it, email me.

--
cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz    X Phil Ross
cybapunk@tornado.welly.gen.nz  X Sysop of The Hovel BBS
cybapunk@sideways.welly.gen.nz X Author of Lords And Ladies, _THE_ BBS door!
     ... If at first you don't succeed, redefine success ...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN)
Subject: Re: just a joke...
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 18:31:00 GMT

In article <1992Oct2.144823.875@news2.cis.umn.edu>, hansen@deci.cs.umn.edu 
(David M. Hansen) writes...
   ---{MATT's mild joke about the Arkansas snake-oil salesman deleted}----
>.......................It was a spoof commercial 'for' the Republican 
>candidate.  It started with a still shot of the White House, when the following
>words were overlayed on the screen and were spoken by a narrator:
> 
>     President Ronald Reagan
> 
>There was a short pause, then the following words were also spoken and 
>displayed below the first words:
> 
>        Think about it
> 
>It was completely deadpan and 'serious.' 
>                                 -=Dave

	An even funnier one was on a rerun of ``Laugh-in'':  Seems they
were making fun of then Governor Reagan in a skit. They got a HUGE laugh
with the words ``President Reagan''!
	I guess the joke was on us, eh?
					dylyn

``God was the first cop.''--Lydia Lunch

_/\  /\ dylyn (aka, d prosser) == S7356911@UCSVAX.UCS.umass.edu  /\
   \/  \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  \/~~~~~
From: jdare@math.rutgers.edu (James Ananda Dare)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: WANTED: Catholic jokes
Keywords: Catholic Religion
Date: 27 Sep 92 02:40:29 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.


In article <Bv26q8.1Js@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> ddrasin@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (daniel drasin) writes:

> I was wondering if anyone had some good Catholic jokes.
> Perhaps there's even a list of them

(Swiped from Gallagher, as verbatim as I can remember it).

     Gallagher asks if there are any Catholics in the audience.  There
are a few.  He says, "Well, would you mind if I told a little Catholic
joke?"  The audience consents, and Gallager begins:

	This raggedy-assed old nun <laughter> was walking home from the
	convent one day, when this man jumps out from the bushes and has
	his way.

	Then the man sayeth unto her saying, "What will you tell the Holy
	Father now, Sister?"
	
	She says, "I must tell the truth!  I will say I was walking home
	from the convent when a man jumped out from the bushes and raped
 	me twice, unless you're tired."


|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| James A. Dare          | Hammered a screwdriver into my ear, to my brain.   |
| E-mail:                | I'm watchin' my life swirl down the drain          |
| jdare@math.rutgers.edu | And I'm feelin' about as Abel as Cain              |
| Snail-mail:            | But I guess that that's the price of fame          |
| P.O. Box 4104          | When you're destined to live on a STREET OF SHAME! |
| Highland Park, NJ      |                        --Foetus                    |
|            08904-4104  ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|                        | I saw an x-ray of a girl passing gas!              |
|                        |                        --Butthole Surfers          |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.|
|	   		-- Vice President Dan Quayle                          |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
From: cobe101@emory.edu (Christopher C. Chung)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Mathematician Joke
Date: 1 Oct 92 18:28:57 GMT
Article-I.D.: emoryu1.1066
Organization: Emory University, Atlanta, GA
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3


Q: Did you hear what happened the constipated mathematician?






A:  His batteries died.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:30487 talk.bizarre:32911
From: dyck@mpr.ca (Trevor Dyck)
Subject: Re: Hello
Organization: MPR Teltech Ltd., Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 92 17:48:08 GMT

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>>>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>>>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>>>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>>>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>>>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>>>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>>>>>Why not today.
>>>>> BTW... :-)
>>>>Throw the "C" manual away !
>>>I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
>>BASIC is here to stay!
>You crazy?  Pascal will blow you away!
Assembly language makes my day.

-- 
Trevor Dyck (dyck@mpr.ca)      | "The number of Unix installations has grown 
Advanced Technology Division   |  to 10, with more expected" 
MPR Teltech Ltd. 	       |  -- The Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition,
8999 Nelson Way, Burnaby, BC   |     June, 1972
From: dogbowl@dogbox.acme.gen.nz (dogbowl)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Wanted
Keywords: ouch
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 17:38:25 Y
Organization: The Dawghaus BBS, Palmerston North, New Zealand (+64 6 357 9245)

deepak@konark.njit.edu (D'EE'pak Kakadasam) writes:

> In article <BvAunt.K7o@news.cso.uiuc.edu> rvenkate@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Ravikuma
> >I guess the title just about sums it up.
> >1. Ethnic Jokes (No particular group requrired)
> >2. Height-of Jokes
> >
> >  Example: What is the height of heights?
> >  Ans    : Taking a piss off of Mount Everest. 

> Q: What is the height of pain?
> A: Sliding down the edge of a gaint blade & using  your balls as  your
>    brakes.

Then droping into a vat of alcohol!  8-*

dogbowl at The Dawghaus BBS, Palmerston North, New Zealand (+64 6 357 9245)
dogbowl@dogbox.acme.gen.nz

Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.monty-python
From: sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney)
Subject: Re: dead president sketch
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 07:16:42 GMT

>>>>This is an ex-sketch.
>>>>
>>>>IOSnm
>>>>(ncie)
>>>BURN HIM!!! 
>>>Oops...wrong group, eh?
>>nono. Feel free, torch me.
>Is that "torch" or "touch"? Wink wink.
Take it which way you want.

>>Hold on!
>><woof>
>Hey! Simon crisp! My favorite!
OK.. just watch out for the...  <<<<AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!>>>

>>>Ratboy
>><MSio..n
>Rtbaoy
Nose 'Im.
From: nayak@ds1.scri.fsu.edu (Krishna Nayak)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Cemetery Jokes
Date: 28 Sep 92 19:19:17 GMT
Reply-To: nayak@ds1.scri.fsu.edu (Krishna Nayak)
Organization: SCRI, Florida State University

In article <92271.220324FWR100@psuvm.psu.edu> FWR100@psuvm.psu.edu writes:

>A few from an old episode of Night Court:

>_____'s Funeral home - we put the FUN back in funeral

>A corpse is a corpse of course, of course..

In that episode of Night Court, the funeral home guy was being 
charged for putting a T-Shirt on the deceased that read:

Yesterday, was the last day of the rest of my Life...

ha ha



--
Krishna Nayak  --  nayak@scri.fsu.edu
Supercomputer Computations Research Institute
Florida State University
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold)
Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
Keywords: purple
Organization: Qualcomm, Inc., San Diego, CA
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 04:06:10 GMT

s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN) writes:
>	Avoid cascades -- end all your lines with ``purple''!
"Bug" won't rhyme, but do you think "burp"'ll?
-- 
If puns were deli meat, this would be the wurst
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: Mother Jokes (Your Momma is so...)
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 06:18:48 GMT

>Your mom's so fat, her yearbook picture was an aerial photo.
>
>Your mom's so fat, I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
>
>Your mom's so fat, I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
>
>They say that beauty is only a light switch away, with your mom I had to use a
>black light.
>
>
>Hope you liked them.
>			Brian
Here's another...

You're mother's so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.


Ratboy