HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Raw vs. Ripe (Was: Man mauled by lion)
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<29977@castle.ed.ac.uk>
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 23:03:16 GMT

<In article <29977@castle.ed.ac.uk> egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
<In article <1993Jan6.095315.1850@fmg.bt.co.uk> pky@fmg.bt.co.uk (Pete Young) writes:

<>I'm looking forward to the day when one of these nutters climbs over the
<>fence into the houses of parliament and throws some raw hand-grenades to
<>the occupants.

<Ah - this sounds like a variant of the Catch 22 problem - surely
<anybody who throws some raw hand-grenades to the occupants of the houses
<of parliament cannot ipso facto be a nutter?

	I'm at a loss to know the difference between "raw" and "ripe"
	hand grenades; since all grenades nowadays are green, I s'pose
	they're all "raw"....the Mills Bomb was often black, wasn't
	it? Does that mean the "Dark, Satanic Mills" was, er, "over-
	ripe"?

	What color (colour for the Atlantically-challenged) *is*
	a "ripe grenade"?


Signed,
Anxious
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: What new innovation, software or products do you want to see?
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 93 15:25:27 GMT

In <C0HB72.10M@dcs.ed.ac.uk> Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (Claudio.Terrorist) writes:

>Has anybody heard of Steve B. recently?

Watch for my upcoming post "S. Bogroll."
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: Telephone peeves
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 06:27:07 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.111056.1245@fmg.bt.co.uk> Pete Young writes:

> [ ... ]
>``Is Linda there?''
>
>I finally got fed up one day and answered
>
>``Yes, but she can't speak to you at the moment. She's got my dick in her
>mouth. ``

Uh, Pete, there's a Mr. DeVito on line two, and he's pissed.  Something
about royalties due or something.  Can you take this one?

>  Pete Young        	  pky@fmg.bt.co.uk        Phone +44 473 227151

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "Loud is good." 
rickg@netcom.com |   -- Frank Loesser
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Man mauled by lion
Date: 8 Jan 93 22:18:45 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <1993Jan8.171336.2840@sun1x.actc.res.utc.com>
scottb@sun1x.actc.res.utc.com (TheLrdLovsAHngn) writes:
>Get a clue!  Get several.  If the guy was stupid enough to climb over
>a well posted fence, he deserves what he gets.  Besides, I think the 
>fences around lions and other "dangerous" animals is around 10 tto 12    
>feet high.  How high do YOU think the fence should be?  
>
>Why dont we sprinkle you with some A1 sauce and toss you to the lion(s).

Damn, that flame was nasty!

If you'd had the wit to direct it at anyone in particular, it would've
been devastating...

Try again later.

   don
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Tiberius Claudius Parvus)
Subject: Fitting behavior for world leaders
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Roman Senate
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 00:31:46 GMT


In article <LARRY.93Jan7141302@peak.psl.nmsu.edu> larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu 
 (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) suggests:

        I've an idea: This time let's just go after Saddam, and
        skip exterminating many thousand poor Iraqi cannon
        fodders in a Mother of All Genocides.

and in article <1993Jan8.142743.9295@igor.tamri.com>, donb@igor.tamri.com 
 (Don Baldwin) responds:

        Sounds good to me.  Better yet, this time let's just lock
        Saddam and Bush in a room with two Swiss army knives and
        see who makes it out alive...then shoot the winner.

To which I say:

Dress 'em in loincloths and let 'em go at each other in a sand-floored outdoor
arena with trident, net, and sword. That way they can REALLY show us how
manly they are.
--
"Send in the lions!"
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (Mack Daddy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Orientals . . .
Date: 7 Jan 93 20:16:05 GMT
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:


>thayne@unislc.uucp (Thayne Forbes) writes:

>>And you still didn't get it right, you insensitive hockey player.
>>The PC word for today is 'persons of color'. 


>"Minorities."


The correct term is "Differently numbered", you White Male Racist Oppressor.
-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"Free at last!  Free at last!  Thank God Almighty I'm free at last!"
 -- M. L. King
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: Group Labels (was: Orientals . . .)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 14:44:47 GMT

In <1it1hcINN6op@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff 
Miller) writes:



> "Bosnia has been cleansed," said Tom acerbically.

That's a dirty lie!  I know nothing about this whatsoever.  I deny it 
categorically... and I'm expecting a pardon from Bush momentarily, anyway, so 
fuck it.

>Geoff

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Darwin, a three-time loser (was: I Don't Care)
Date: 8 Jan 1993 15:21:44 GMT
Organization: FizzBall Racing
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

Alain van der Heide denies his name means "Skin of the alien" thusly:
>Peeve1:  Is it just me, or has this Amy Fisher business gone on far too long?

Naw.  The media has already dumped Amy Fisher like a corn-flecked
turd.  Now we get to hear endless stories of Ma and Pa Chucklehead and
their adventures in the snow.  Front page, 36 point headline in the
Mercury.  The story on Jim, Jenny, and baby Stolpa will lend a new
expression to the language: Dumb as a Stolpa.

In the worst blizzard in the Sierra Nevada in about 10 years, these
morons get wind that the interstate is closed, and they're trying to
travel to Idaho.  Now anyone out there can give an opinion of what any
reasonable person would do.  These dolts, on the other hand,
yuck-yucked themselves into believing that if the interstate highway
was closed, the obvious alternative was a secondary highway.

I think Dumb Luck is the right term to describe how they even made it
as far as their next colossal blunder.  That was: In the middle of a
snowstorm that's dumped 5 feet of snow in the past three days, these
bozos turn onto a gravel (although I'm sure they didn't realize it
then) road with a fucking sign that says "Road closed in winter, not
maintained or patrolled."

Well, what a friggin' surprise, they got stuck in the snow.  Now, the
only thing these mental midgets can think to do is to hang out in the
truck, waiting for someone who was struck as hard with the dummy stick to
happen along.  For three days.  I don't know about anyone else, but I
probably could have figured out in about 6 hours that nobody else was
going to come by.

After these three days, little sparks started leaping the synaptic gap
from the instinctive survival portion of the noggin, and, bringing a
quick end to the story, evolution-in-action was cheated of three
richly deserving individuals when they were rescued a few days later.

Peeve: People who beat the odds and survive acute stupidity.

Peeve: Media drones that lick the hairy nutsack of people who beat the
odds and survive acute stupidity.

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
 by those who have not got it."
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,talk.politics.misc
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Revisionist Ideological Stoogery
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 21:25:44 GMT

mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com ( Phil Mueller ) writes:
] In article <C0558A.Dw7@acsu.buffalo.edu> dmarcher@acsu.buffalo.edu (Dave Archer) writes:
] >
{on the deUnification of czechkoslovakia}
] >AbsurdPeeve: I suppose it'll save on having to
] >reprint maps of Europe AGAIN, just cross out the o, and
] >draw a line between Czech & slovakia.  If it was April 1st,
] >I'd think CNN had a sense of humour or something.
] >
] 
] Peeve: Ignoramuses.  Firstly, it's the "Czech Republic" and "Slovakia"
] Secondly, they were two countries before being swallowed up by the Austrians
] and Russians.  After the war ( WWI ) those wonderful Western peacemakers
] started drawing mostly-abritrary lines though Eastern [sic] Europe and made
] it into one country.  They're just correcting that error.

Then why are the Czech's Maintaining their 
NeoColonialistOppression of PersonsOfGermanicAncestry
in the Sudetanland!!!!!

Free the Sudetenland from Czech Oppression!!!!!

ciao
drieux

ps: while we are at it, return mercia to the merciful!!!!

ObPeeve: Persons With NOT so Hidden 
RacistGenocidalWarMongerKulturallyOppressiveNeoColonialist
Agenda Items bent on Oppressing Persons of Germanic Ancestry
for their Clearly Kommunist Inclinations!!!! We KNOW about
you RedMenaceTypes! We Know You Are Trying to UnderMine the Free World!!!!




-- 
Modern Day Problems:

"lets get linear, I want to get linear, linear"
				Olivia Newton Algegra
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Moving peeves
Date: 12 Jan 93 01:10:15 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide writes:
>8) One word: flatulence

It certainly works in U-Hauls; I imagine it'd be awful in an enclosed
apartment!

!Peeve:  Aside from the friend who promised to show up and help us move,
another friend also showed up; otherwise, Gilian and I might not have
survived the move...figuratively speaking...

Peeve:  After a fun but environmentally adverse day up at Skyline R&G
club on Saturday (and staying up unti 11:30 cleaning the old implements
of death afterwards), Gillian and I moved to our new apartment yesterday.
I woke up feeling sick and washed out, then the memory of moving arrangements
thrust itself into my head, like Geoff performing a trepanning with "special"
tools.  So, we started doing the moving thang, two friends showed up to
help...and halfway through delivering the first load, it started raining,
giving the U_Haul's ramp the frictional coefficient of black ice.  Well,
we made the move in two trips, returned the truck without causing any major
damage, and treated our friends to dinner at El Torito's.

By the time we made a couple stops on the way home, I was feeling decidedly
unwell; I'm feeling amost as bad now, so I may skip work tomorrow, too.

Blah.  I'd rather be well and at work than at home feeling sick.

     don
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Hippy Dippy Weather Man)
Subject: Re: Yes, Yes, Let's Talk About the Weather
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Bay Area Bureau of Meterological Absurdities
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 18:23:08 GMT


In article <18295@autodesk.COM>, booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) talks
about the weather here in the San Francisco area:

Wanna know just how cold things are around here lately, folks? Yesterday
morning at 8 AM San Carlos (a bedroom community on the San Francisco
peninsula) was reporting 33 degrees F. Crystal Springs Reservoir (on the San
Andreas Fault between San Francisco and Silly Cone Valley for you foreigners)
had a noticeable layer of solid ice on it for the first time in years. Frost
takes several more hours to melt from rooftops this year than in years past.
At times like these a bit of rain is welcome, as the temperature climbs to an
almost bearable level - San Carlos was reporting 44 degrees this morning,
f'rinstance.

This may sound idyllic to those of you from other parts of the galaxy, but
around here we seldom see temperatures this low for such a long time, and
every year it happens it's a novelty. I know it's not the Frozen Tundra nor
the Shetlands, but fer us it's frigid.
--
From: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (Claudio.Terrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Goodbye, Ed
Date: 11 Jan 93 09:50:45 GMT
Reply-To: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (Claudio.Terrorist)
Organization: The Tea Party Of The Vicar

Crossly the Glad-Eyed Bear writes:

> If there is a Net Prize awarded for postings totally devoid of
> sensitivity and compassion, I nominate this one.  For chrissake, the
> woman and her husband have just been told that he has cancer.  I find it
> difficult to see anything humorous about it.

Here's another one. What happened? Did a new term start?

" If there is a Net Prize awarded for postings totally devoid of
" meaning and clues, I nominate this one.

Ob(related in a subtle way)Peeve:

> From: newsstats@uunet.UU.NET
> Newsgroups: news.lists
> Subject: Top 25 News Submitters by User by number of articles for the last 2 weeks
> Date: 9 Jan 93 04:32:14 GMT
> 
>          No. of       % of
> Rank Articles KBytes Total   User

[...]

>    2   302     283.8  0.1%   sehari@iastate.EDU  (Babak Sehari)

Looks like they've stopped him 302 articles too late...

 
--
 "I look at Peevetown as sort of a lion den, as it were.  Mostly, we kind
  of lounge around, peeving languidly, then every so often pull something
  soft and clueless to the ground and rip its throat out..." -- Don Baldwin
From: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (Claudio.Terrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Man mauled by lion
Date: 4 Jan 93 13:26:20 GMT
Reply-To: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (Claudio.Terrorist)
Organization: The Tea Party Of The Vicar

Jeremy Henderson writes:
> 
> In article <C0BwG1.JzJ@dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
[ ... ]
> 
> Bt the way I'm pleased to see that at least ONE other person managed to
> drag their lazy friggin' arse into work today.

At least TWO other people (oops, persons). Take this as an ObPeeve.

ObPeeve2. Since the University is supposed to be closed, as it's a bank
holiday in this lazy part of the Kingdom, there's nowhere nearby where
I can buy a Green Mouldy Flapjack to eat.

 
C.T.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: What new innovation, software or products do you want to see?
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 16:05:00 GMT

>>>>> On Tue, 5 Jan 1993 01:20:22 GMT, sehari@iastate.edu (Babak Sehari) said:
Babak> What type of new innovation, software or products do you
Babak> want to be introduced to the market place.  No answer is
Babak> stupid.  The things that might be unachievable to you,
Babak> might be very easy to produce by others.  You could become
Babak> part of history by initiating the process of innovation.

Well, Babak, I would certainly be in the market for a device which would
inflict severe pain on folks like yourself, who post messages like this 
to *every* newsgroup on the net. 

Perhaps a rectal plug fitted with high voltage electrodes. We'd need a
level control on it, of course, so we could set the level to limit when
bleeding of the ears begins. That way the poster wouldn't pass out on us
and spoil our fun.

	[...]

Babak> P.S.  This message is being automatically posted to all
Babak> unix wide bbs'.  This post does not mean that I approve or
Babak> disapprove this newsgroup.  Also, the moderator of the
Babak> moderated newsgroups, such as rec.humor.funny, should
Babak> decide if they want this posting in their newsgroup.

Don't worry. We don't necessarily approve of you either.

"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
When I break down just a little, I lose my head. No one can understand a
word that I say..



Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@lurch.twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Re: S. Bogroll
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Somewhere West of Nowhere
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 01:06:37 GMT


In article <9301072211.AA25099@saffron.eedsp.gatech.edu.gatech.edu>, eedsp!bill@gatech.UUCP (Bill Berbenich) writes:
[gif deleted]

Hey! He doo look like a sheepdawg. Damn!
--

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann)
Subject: Re: Goodbye, Ed
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 93 02:33:04 GMT
Organization: Dark Satanic Mills
Summary: open season on 44-year-olds, apparently

Your friend might have a new buddy in the Happy Hunting Grounds soon.
My husband and I just had The Talk at the surgeon's.  His lung cancer
is pretty early, though, and at best he will lose only half a lung.

Fuckity fuck.  Fuck.

Jenny
-- 
>   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
>     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
>       Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
>          internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Bathroom peeve
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 93 22:11:28 GMT

Not ten minutes ago I was standing before the porcelain Urinal God,
making my sacrifice.  ABout halfway through said release, the door
to the somewhat-small bathroom opens and a female of about 21 years
enters, looking toward the floor.  

Right about this time, I finish up, replace John Thomas, and flush
the urinal.  Miss Absent_minded_engineering_student looks up and
realizes THERE'S A GUY IN HERE!  So she says to me, rather matter-of-
factly, "Aren't you in the wrong restroom?!!??"  It's just us two
in there at this point.

I had turned toward the sink at that point and replied, without
missing a beat, "Not unless women use urinals, too!"

A second or so later, the realization hits her that SHE is the one
in the wrong place.  I am finished at the sink by now, and as I start
to leave and throw my towel away I can see that Miss Lost's face is
beet-red.  She turns to leave at that point, only to have the door
nearly strike her as another guy walks in.  The look on HIS face was
priceless!  He looked at both of us, her beet-red and me with a
little smiling smirk on my face.  His eyes then opened wide and
before anyone could even BREATHE the guy had whirled around and left.
By now, I am standing at the door and follow the guy out.  Miss Lost
then follows me out.

What a classic little comedy of errors!

What's the peeve, you might ask?  There isn't one!  So bite me!

I suppose the fact that today is the first day of class is peevesome.
  -Bill

Then there's the fact that I drove past a cat, which carefully observed
my approach and subsequent passing before it walked out into the street.
The students just pop off the kerb without looking.  Cats smarter than
engineering students?  'course it was by the Physics building...
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: Don't Mess With Texas
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 16:18:44 GMT

Hell, Elaine, when I lived in San Antonio, I got to where I could actually
drink (blarsh..) *Pearl* beer. At only $1.35 a six-pack (in 1976), you 
learn fast.

You forgot to mention how all them Texans in traffic string together, like
a long glob of snot, and keep right on truckin' through a traffic light,
up to minutes after it has changed to red. They had to, though.

L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Not really a cowboy. Just found the hat.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Malevolent plumbing
From: gcombs@parsifal.umkc.edu (Gerald Combs)
Date: 8 Jan 1993 22:22:31 GMT
Reply-To: gcombs@parsifal.umkc.edu (Gerald Combs)
Distribution: world
Organization: University of Missouri - Kansas City
NNTP-Posting-Host: parsifal.umkc.edu


  This morning, I walked into the kitchen, opened a cabinet, and grabbed a 
soggy box of ceral (the box was soggy, not the cereal).  Noting that this
was not the optimal condition for a cereal box to be in, I looked in the 
cabinet for the source of the problem and found that all of the other cereal 
boxes and everything in the next cabinet were wet because the sink trap 
had a leak.  I then had to pull all sorts of wet, soggy things out of the 
cabinet instead of eating breakfast, which is what I should have been doing 
at that time.

  Peeve1:  Cereal boxes are in no way water resistant.  Upon getting wet, the
cardboard disintegrates and the glue no longer adheres, leaving you holding
a soggy mess.

  Peeve2:  The water at the bottom of the cabinet evidently leached some of
the chemicals out of the ceral boxes (probably the glue), 'cause it's all
slimy.

  Peeve3:  Although the apartment manager said she'd get someone working on
it right away, it also means that the old troll will probably snoop around
our apartment while they're working, as I suspect she has done in the past.

  !Peeve:  At least I don't have to fix the sink myself.  I imagine the 
contents of the trap are pretty disgusting.

  Bonus peeve:  My wife and I were going to go on vacation early next month.
We were going to drive around the southwest part of the country.  However, 
the truck's engine desperately needs a rebuild, and the computer's hard drive
crapped out a short time ago.  It now looks like we'll barely have enough 
money to go, much less do anything fun.

- Gerald Combs
     _____     __o          Internet : gcombs@vax1.umkc.edu
   -----      -\<,            Bitnet : gcombs@umkcvax1  
    -----   ( )/ ( )
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Did we read the same book?
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 93 02:45:57 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

nolan@twg.com writes: 
| 
| I just hope the movie version of _Rendesvous with Rama_ turns out as well as
| the novel.
| 
| !Peeve: reading _Rendesvous with Rama_ at least five times

Looks like you'd've learned how to spell it.

And you put your organization as "Mendocino Literary Society"?

Yeesh.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|"Television is an invention that permits you to be|
| entertained in your living room by people you    |
| wouldn't have in your home.                      |
|                                 --David Frost    |
+--------------------------------------------------+