From: kibo@world.std.com (James 'Kibo' Parry)
Subject: Re: OK MuthaFrickers, Now Ya Got Me PISSED
Followup-To: alt.slack,alt.sex,alt.postmodern,alt.fan.monty-python
Keywords: La,la,et al.
Organization: A room filled with typography (in Boston's Back Bay)
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 22:04:28 GMT

In article <1992Apr14.135428.8838@gozer.mv.com> bob@aneurism.mscg.com (J.R. "BoB" Dobbs) writes:
>
>The cascaders are, alas, the only people left on the net with any slack.

I have no slack.

Please do not cascade my .signature.


A REALLY NEAT .SIGNATURE FOLLOWS, PRESS "NO" IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE IT !!!111
 
^ L


 .SIGNATURE UNDER CONSTRUCTION....... LAST REVISED 5/12/1990 11:02:32 PM
                                      AND ALSO LAST REVISED 5/22/90 11:27:59 PM
                                      AND 8/22/1990 10:03:16 PM TOO
                                      AND 8/25/90 01:57:08 PM
                                      AND 11/11/90 12:35:53 AM <-- LAST TIME!!
                                      (WOW, FOUR 1'S IN A ROW!!!!)
                                      AND 7/8/91 2:06:03 AM <-- LATE NIGHT!!
                                     AND 9/6/91 2:51:26AM <--- LATER!!!
                                      AND 2/9/91^H^H92 4:25:43AM <--- WOW!!!!
                                      COPYRIGHT (C) COPYR.1988,1990,1989,1992
                                      ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
                                      TODOS LOS DERECHOS RESERVADOS!!!
                                      THIS POSTING MAY NOT BE REPORDUCED IN ANY
                                      FORM WITHOUT MY WRITTEN PERMISSION
                                      OR SOLD FOR MONETARY FINANCIAL PROFIT.


I WROTE IT ALL BY MYSELF BUT THANKS TO MARK AND JASON DOMINUS, AND TO MATHEW
WHOSE LAST NAME I FORGOT!!!  AND ALL THOSE AUSSIES NAMED "IAIN"!!!

I DIDN'T MAKE ANY SPELLING ERRERS SO
  YOU CAN'T POST THIS SIGNATURE TO
        ALT.FAN.WARLORD!!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
^L
                      THIS IS YOUR BRAIN.
                             ___
                            /(()\
                            \__\|


                  THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON THE INTERNET.
                             ___    +-----+
                            /(()\   | VAX |
                            \__\|===+_____+
^L

               ____    
              /    \__  
  |\         /    @   \
  \ \_______|    \  .:|>     "Dogs aren't ALLOWED?   WAAAAAAH!"
   \      ##|    | \__/                       
    |    ####\__/   \                         -- Spot
    /  /  ##       \|     
   /  /__________\  \    
   L_JJ           \__JJ   


     S   C   R   A   T   C   H        A   N   D       S   N   I   F   F

     to enjoy the aromatic aroma of beautiful downtown schenectady !!!!
_____________________________________________________________________________
james "kibo" parry, 271 dartmouth st. #3d, boston ma 02116 <- not schenectady.
kibo@world.std.COM           _________________________________________________
kibo@world.COM@uunet.COM    / Kibology    /  Anything I say is my opinion,
kibo@world.BITNET@bitnet.COM  is better! /   and is the opposite of Xibo's.
__________________________/_____________/_____________________________________
"All colors are arbitrary." --Carl Sagan   /   Bozos use anything but emacs!
__________________________________________/___________________________________
Wacky, wild, Kibo style! / You're allowed.  (Unless you don't want to be...
________________________/_ you are also allowed to not be allowed.) _________
I never said I wasn't a bozo. /____________________________________/_Hi mom!_
_____________________________/  Life is silly but should be taken seriously.
Some days you    / Klods * /    TV is evil and should be destroyed.  Really.
just can't get  /   for   /__________________________________________________
rid of a bomb. /   klods /  Moisten needle before inserting Taiwan. /  298R
______________/_________/__________________________________________/_________
* Note: "Klods for Klods" is the motto of Lego(tm) blocks in Lego's native
Denmark, where they speak Danish.  It means "Block by block".  Neat, huh????
_____________________________________________________________________________
You're reading my .signature file.  /  COMMODORE 64S RULE THE WORLD !!!!!!!!!
___________________________________/_________________________________________
"I'm Bozo, the world's most famous clown!" -- the world's most famous clown
_____________________________________________________________________________
I've read all of Kurt Vonnegut Junior's books and my favorite is "Breakfast
Of Champions", my second favorite is "Chariots Of The Gods". I love them all.
My other favorite author is Philip K. Dick who wrote "Do Androids Dream Of
Sheep?", "Clams Of The Alphane Moon", "OBIK", "Man In The Castle", and "Total 
Recall"!  Oh, and Stephen King is absolutely the best too!  And Derrida!
_____________________________________________________________________________
If it doesn't say PURINA, /                     /  Bart Simpson and Charlie
bury it in the yard!     /      BYTE ME!       /   Brown are both GIRLS!
________________________/_____________________/______________________________
THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IS COPYRIGHTED (C)1989/90 MCMLXXXIX/MCMLXL BY JAMES "KIBO"
PARRY AND MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, SOLD, READ, PRINTED, OR REPLIED TO WITHOUT 
MY EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION.  HE IS SERIOUS AND WILL SUE YOUR PANTS OFF.
_____________________________________________________________________________D
|| _______________________________________________________________________ ||I
|| ||                                                                   || ||S
|| ||------>        I'M NOT BIFF !!!!!! HE'S NOT ME !!!!!!!      <------|| ||C
++-++-------------------------------------------------------------------++-+|L
|| ||------>        BIFF IS TOO OBNOXIOUS TO BE ME !!!!!!!!      <------|| ||A
|| ||------>        ALSO HIS .SIGNATURE IS LONGER !!!!!!!!!      <------|| ||I
|| ||___________________________________________________________________|| ||M
||_________________________________________________________________________||E
_____________________________________________________________________________R
"BOZE NOSE BOOKS!" -- Bozo, The World's Most Famous Clown  /    QUAIL SUCKS
__________________________________________________________/__________________
                          /
Orwell was an optimist.  /  "There is infinite hope, but not for us." - Kafka
________________________/____________________________________________________
Join the Kibo Fan Club!  Send lots of money to the address above, RIGHT NOW!
_____________________________________________________________________________
All generalizations stink.  /  Kibology is *NOT* Satanism!  /  Ollie for prez
___________________________/_______________________________/_________________
DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!  /   What's fahefergnugen?  /   QUAIL STILL SUCKS! ! !
_______________________/__________________________/__________________________
"The secret word is... SIL!  Now you all know what to do whenever anybody
 says the secret word, right?  SCREAM REAL LOUD!"  -- Pee Wee Herman
_____________________________________________________________________________
If I said anything to offend anyone in this message, I'm sorry and didn't
mean to hurt your feelings.  ________________________________________________
____________________________/  "Losing our marbles for the last 23 years"
I hope you're enjoying     /   I'm gonna be 24 soon!  My birthday is July 13,
reading this posting...   /    send presents!  The day before Bastille Day!
_________________________/___________________________________________________
If Lambada is the forbidden dance, why did they make a movie about it?
_____________________________________________________________________________
Hi Tale@Rpi.Edu!  /  You are here  X  /  What's Peewee Herman's favorite
_________________/___________________/   baseball team?  THE EXPOS!
Garrison Keillor is my hero         /                       (rec.humor.funny)
___________________________________/_________________________________________
"Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here!"  -- STAR TREK
_____________________________________________________________________________
"SIL!"  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________
There's a mouse in my apartment right now while I'm typing this.  Isn't
that an incredible coincidence!  Have you ever been using this bboard while
a mouse was in your room.  Now I have.........?
_____________________________________________________________________________
Anyone who thinks anyone else should be shot should be shot; the NRA is a
bunch of bozos just like the Democrats AND Republicans AND Williard Scott.
Kill the Fascists and Communists and all the other nuts too.  Kill 'em all!
_____________________________________________________________________________
"I'm Batman!" -- BATMAN THE MOVIE   /  This space intentionally left blank.
(THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD!!!!)  /
__________________________________/__________________________________________
Elvis lives.  /  "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..." --MONTY PYTHON  /  Hug me
_____________/_____________________________________________________/_________
Did I spell anything wrong? If so, please tell me so I can post a correction.
_____________________________________________________________________________
  |\     My favorite PostScript font is Chicago!  Times Roman is just a cheap
--- \  ripoff of the real New York.  And you don't even have to be in Chicago
___ /  to use Chicago!  I printed my whole resume in 36pt Chicago Bold Shadow!
__|/_________________________________________________________________________
|  "Beauty and the Beast" may be cancelled, but it lives on forever in our  |
|  hearts and minds and hearts!  It will live forever even though it's dead!|
|___________________________________________________________________________|
Can I have a cookie?  / The Kibology Center is a non-non-profit arm of the
_____________________/  National Association for Kibological Awareness(NAKA).
I'M 100% FLAMEPROOF /________________________________________________________
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Harry Graber, age 11, is dying of a fatal disease which will eventually kill
him.  Before he dies, he would like to be in the "Guinness" Book of "Records"
for receiving the most postcards in the mail.  Please send him lots of
postcards at the below address:

              Kibo, PO Box 722, Boston MA 02116-0722 (USA)

Although he is very ill and only barely clinging to life, he gets thousands
of postcards a day from people like you.  He writes back, personally, to
each and every single one.  Amazingly, everyone who writes to Harry recieves
a year of good luck afterwards!  Mrs. Bertha Briggs of Poughkeepsie, NY
recently wrote to Harry and then won the lottery the very next day--AND her
dog was cured of cancer!  Plus, if you write now, Harry will send you
his miracle POSTCARD DIET which will allow you to lose 100 pounds a week!

                            THIS IS NOT A SCAM!
                           This service is FREE!
               Please enclose $14.95 for postage and handling.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

HANDY "TWIN PEEKS" CHART          [murder]<-->[LAURA]<--/-->[Bob]<--["Bob"]
                                              |     ^         |        ^
This is fun to read even if you haven't       v     v         v        |
seen the series.  I like my chart, and    [David   [That FBI guy]   ["J.R."]
I've never seen the show!                 Lynch]         ^             ^
                                         /               |             |
                                        v             [donuts]    [Bobby in 
[the log lady]<->[flouridation]-->["Eraserheads"]        =       the shower]
 ^         ^                                           [sex]          |
 |         |     /->[Monty Python's Flying Circles]                   v
[bag     [lumber-                                             /->[Ted Bundy]
ladies]   jacks]<--["RoboJox"]<->[VW]<->[FOX]-->[Al&Peg Bundy] 
  ^         |                             ^                   \->[Children] 
  |         v                             |                                 
[the dog-faced boy]-->[Laura's<-/->[the Simpsons]<--[Life in Hell]<--[UseNet]
                     evil twin]                                         |
                                                                        v
And remember, the name of the show is a breast metaphor.   [alt.tv.twin.peeks]
                                        ^    ^                |          ^
                                       /     |                v          |
[Mike Douglas]=[Douglas firs]-->[breasts]   [drumsticks]  [rmgroups] /->[logs]
      |                      \______________________________________/    ^
      v                                                                  |
  [Albert]<--/-->[furry white rats]-->[green rats]-->[traffic   [the log lady]
     ^                                                lights]     (here too!)
     |                         [walk with fire me]--->  ^             ^
 [Layland]<-->[Pinky Lee]                               |             |
                               [Herve Villachaise]<--[tattoos]     ["Bob"]

_____________________________________________________________________________
My favroite sci-fi/fantasy short story is  /  VOTE NIXON  / The SubGenius
"The Eye of Argon" by L. Ron Hubbard!     /     IN 1992  /  must wear slacks!
_________________________________________/______________/____________________
Best Skeleton Joke Ever:   "What do you call fish bones?"  "Skele-tuna!" :-)
_____________________________________________________________________________
I spell things the way I want, since William Safire is too wimpy to stop me!
_____________________________________________________________________________
"The medium is the message!"  -- Marshall Mike Luhan  /  I'm a lumberjack...
_____________________________________________________/_______________________
I know the Green Golfball Joke!  I'd post it here but BitNet doesn't allow
R-rated jokes to be posted here so I won't post it!  That's a violation of
your unconstitutional rights and you should complain to your sysop!
_____________________________________________________________________________
MY TETRIS HIGH SCORE ON MY NINTENDO IS 999,990 -- THAT'S A WORLD RECORD!
I HAVE PHOTOS OF THE TV SCREEN TO PROVE IT!  THEY DIDN'T COME OUT THOUGH.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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   \\\\\\\\\\
    \\\\\\\\\\                  AMIGA ONLY! \\    \\    \\    \\    \\   \\
     \\\\\\\\\\                              \\/   \\/   \\/   \\/   \\/  \\/
      \\\\\\\\\\                                        ___
       \\\\\\\\\\                                      /. .\
        \\\\\\\\\\                                     |\_/|
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              \\\\\\\\\\     //////// ##  ##  ## ## ##  ### \#####  ##    ##
               \\\\\\\\\\   ////////
                \\\\\\\\\\ ////////   /#####  ###   ### #####\  ### ###
                 \\\\\\\\\////////    ##      ##     ## ##  ##  ##   ## GRAFIX
                  \\\\\\\////////     ## ###  ##     ## ######\ ##   ##
                   \\\\\////////      ##  ##  ##     ## ##   ## ##   ## WIZARD
                    \\\////////       \#####  \#######/ ##   ## \#####/
_____________________________________________________________________________ 
 _______________                     |  __        _    ____
/               \   |\/\/\/|  r      |  |\\    | | \  / ,__\       AIR SUPPLY
|  "Have a cow, |__ | @  @ |  a      |  ||\\   | |_/  \ |       _  _  |
|      man!"     /  |   '  |  d      |  || \\  | | \   \\   | | |\ |\ |  \ /
\_______________/   | \___/   i      |  ||__\\      \   \\  | | |/ |/ |   |
                    |  |      c  d   |  ||___\\      \   \\ \_/ |  |  |__ |
                              a  u   |  ||    \\     \\__//     |  |      |
as seen on           BART     l  d   |                \__/
   FOX!            SIMPSON       e   |  THE MOST AWESOME HEAVY METAL BAND !!!
_____________________________________|_______________________________________
^L
^L

                 #     #  ####   #    #   #  #####   ######
                  #   #  # ,, #  #    #   #  #    #  #
                   # #   #    #  #    #  #   #    #  #####
                    #    #\__/#  #    #      #####   #
                    #    #    #  #    #      #   #   #
                    #     ####    ####       #    #  ######

           ##    #       #        ####   #    #  ######  ####    ##
          #  #   #       #       # oo #  #    #  #       #   #   ##
         #    #  #       #       #    #  #    #  #####   #    #  ##
         ######  #       #       #\__/#  # ## #  #       #    #  ##
         #    #  #       #       #    #  ##  ##  #       #   #     
         #    #  ######  ######   ####   #    #  ######  ####    ##

                        HAVE A NICE DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PLEASE POST YOUR REPLIES TO THIS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY NET ADDRESS IS!
ALSO PLEASE CROSS-POST TO LOTS OF GROUPS SINCE IT MIGHT NOT BE A GROUP I READ!

[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]





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                           length of this .signature's physical size.





[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]
                *****   ___   ___      _________
                  *    /   \ /   \    | _______ |
                  *   |     V     |   | | * * | |     HELP ME NAME MY
                  *    \         /    | |_____| |     APPLE SE/30 WITH
                  *      \     /      |    ===  |     40MB MEGABYTE DRIVE
                  *        \ /        |_________|
                *****       v          |||||||||

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- Aren't these cute?
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- I was the one who
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- invented them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                  |\
        ---*--   |  \
    -"""      \__|   \
   /   : Qld  :  TAS  \
  /    :........       \
 ' SA  : AA    :.......*|   x = Schenectady NY USA
 \     :     * :NSW    /
  \*   :/""""""\`..x */
   ----'     VIC\ *`./
                 """"
                 \"""/
                NT\*/

Dan Quayle is Howdy Doody!  (And Susan Sontag is the Bride of Frankenstein!)
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|    S  T  O  P      C  A  S  T  I  N  G      P  O  R  O  S  I  T  Y        |
+____________________________________________________________________________+
I've been to Cheers(TM) in downtown Boston and I have a T-Shirt that says 
Cheers(TM) and the official Cheers(TM) Plastic Souvenir Shopping Bag!
Hey, is Ted Danson really as bald as they say?  He couldn't be, his hair's
fluffy, and wigs can't be fluffy!  William Shatner wears a toupee though,
I bet you didn't know that!  I hope I never go bald.  I'd lose my sex appeal.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Fats Loves Madelyn. / Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."
___________________/_________________________________________________________
"We're like gerbils.  We're in a cage running around and around."
                                                                -- Tom Brokaw
_____________________________________________________________________________
"OH WHAT A ZINGER!!!" -- CHRIS ELIOT  / "Married With Children" is the best
                         GET A LIFE  /  TV show ever!  Ted is the greatest!
_____________________________________/_______________________________________
Fly KLM!   /    Did you hear that PeeWee Herman was arrested for masterbating?
__________/____ Really!______________________________________________________
Dana Hersey is Willie Whistle in addition to hosting The Movie Loft (channel 6)
_____________________________________________________________________________
Read alt.exploding.kibo, the group about exploding kibo! /    NO FATE
________________________________________________________/
I put microwave coffee in the Tater Twister and almost /    KNOW FUTURE
went back in time!  -- Steven Wright (Emerson alumnus)/        
_____________________________________________________/    NO DOGS ALLOWED
"NOT!" -- WAYNE'S WORLD  / "The Stevemeisterooski!" /
________________________/__________________________/_________POOR SPOT______

"If I had MY OWN NETWORK, it would be on ALL the TIME.  It would be EDUCATIONAL,
like COSMOS and NOVA, but not so DRY.  It would best be seen on HIGH-definition
TELEVISION.  And every DAY we'd READ from the BOOK of CHER, because when you 
READ from the BOOK of CHER, it doesn't MATTER if you UNDERSTAND... it's the ACT
that MATTERS.  MY network would be METAphysical, paraNORMAL, and EXTRAORDINARILY 
ORDINARY.  It would COMPEL you to RELAX and read `MADAME BOVARY', LOOK into the
MOUTHS of VOLCANOES and LEARN to make RISOTTO... It would have a LINEAR BUILD 
and ARISTOTELIAN LINES... MY network would be both JARRING and AVANT-GARDE... 
with just a TOUCH of BRIAN DENNEHY.  MY network would not promote WAR, WASTE, 
DOUBT or ANXIETY, and would pose the question... What was MICHELLE PFEIFFER 
doing in `Grease 2'?"  -- Sean E. Coates, the "E!" poster child

**************************(.signature continued)*******************************

   HOW MANY POSTS A DAY I MADE LAST WEEK
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   *         M        S*S          SS          S*S          S*S              *
   *        *                                                                *
   *       S                                                                 *
   *         ^Labor Day            ^Sep 14                  ^Sep 28          *
   *                                                                         *
   *                  *                 *                 *                  *
   240 -x- 280  0 -y- 15000***************************************************

*******************************************************************************
MY TEN FAVORITE QUOTES: Broad-mindedness, n.: The result of flattening high-
mindedness out.  There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be 
burned for an opinion. All the good ones are taken.  "Microwave oven?  Whaddya 
mean, it's a microwave oven? I've been watching Channel 4 on the thing for two 
weeks."  Murphy was an optimist. Love means having to say you're sorry every 
five minutes. No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats -- 
approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. Get forgiveness now -- 
tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty. Commitment can be illustrated by a 
breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.  
You are here ------> * But you're not all there.  Kirkland, Illinois, law 
forbids bees to fly over the village or through any of its streets.  Love and 
scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.  A clairvoyant is a person, commonly a 
woman, who has the power of seeing that  which is invisible to her patron -- 
namely, that he is a blockhead.  A multi-day event on public television, used 
to raise money so  you won't have to watch commercials.  Try to get all of 
your posthumous medals in advance.  The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the 
needs of an expanding  bureaucracy.  The intelligence of any discussion 
diminishes with the square of the number of participants.  The hearing ear is 
always found close to the speaking tongue, a custom  whereof the memory of man 
runneth not howsomever to the contrary,  nohow.  Good advice is something a 
man gives when he is too old to set a bad  example.  -- La Rouchefoucauld 
Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem. Eng. 130 
midterm.  Once again no student received a single point on  his exam.  Newell 
has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter.  Newell's  earned exam average has now 
dropped to a phenomenal 30%"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm 
rich." -- "Ali Baba Bunny" [1957, Chuck Jones]  Marriage is the only adventure 
open to the cowardly.  -- Voltaire  The First Rule of Program Optimization:  
Don't do it.  The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!):  
Don't do it yet.  -- Michael Jackson Goldenstern's Rules:  (1) Always hire a 
rich attorney  (2) Never buy from a rich salesman.  The problem ... is that we 
have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with.  Scientists working for the 
Department of Energy have tried to form oil  using other animals; they've 
piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle  Eastern countries on top of cows, 
raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats,  etc., but so far all they have managed to 
do is run up an enormous  bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle 
Eastern persons.  None  of the animals turned into oil, although most of the 
laboratory rats  developed cancer.  -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"  If 
a 6600 used paper tape instead of core memory, it would use up tape  at about 
30 miles/second. -- Grishman, Assembly Language Programming Peanut Blossoms  4 
cups sugar  16 tbsp. milk  4 cups brown sugar  4 tsp. vanilla  4 cups 
shortening  14 cups flour  8 eggs  4 tsp. soda  4 cups peanut butter  4 tsp. 
salt  Shape dough into balls.  Roll in sugar and bake on ungreased cookie  
sheet at 375 F. for 10-12 minutes.  Immediately top each cookie with a  
Hershey's kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie.  Makes a  hell of 
a lot.  Gyroscope, n.:  A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis 
and also  free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to  each 
other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of  the two mutually 
perpendicular axes results from application of  torque to the other when the 
wheel is spinning and so that the  entire apparatus offers considerable 
opposition depending on  the angular momentum to any torque that would change 
the direction of the axis of spin.  -- Webster's Seventh New Collegiate 
Dictionary.  In fifteen minutes, everyone will be famous. -- Andy Warhol

_______________________________________________________________________________


                      .--------------.
                 .---'  o        .    `---.
              .-'    .    O  .         .   `-.
           .-'     @@@@@@       .             `-.
         .'@@   @@@@@@@@@@@       @@@@@@@   .    `.
       .'@@@  @@@@@@@@@@@@@@     @@@@@@@@@         `.
      /@@@  o @@@@@@@@@@@@@@     @@@@@@@@@     O     \
     /        @@@@@@@@@@@@@@  @   @@@@@@@@@ @@     .  \
    /@  o      @@@@@@@@@@@   .  @@  @@@@@@@@@@@     @@ \
   /@@@      .   @@@@@@ o       @  @@@@@@@@@@@@@ o @@@@ \
  /@@@@@                  @ .      @@@@@@@@@@@@@@  @@@@@ \
  |@@@@@    O    `.-./  .        .  @@@@@@@@@@@@@   @@@  |
 / @@@@@        --`-'       o        @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@    . \    Full Moon +    
 |@ @@@@ .  @  @    `    @            @@      . @@@@@@    |     0  5:15:36
 |   @@                         o    @@   .     @@@@@@    |      Last Quarter - 
 |  .     @   @ @       o              @@   o   @@@@@@.   |       7  3:55:27
 \     @    @       @       .-.       @@@@       @@@      /
  |  @    @  @              `-'     . @@@@     .    .    |
  \ .  o       @  @@@@  .              @@  .           . /
   \      @@@    @@@@@@       .                   o     /
    \    @@@@@   @@\@@    /        O          .        /
     \ o  @@@       \ \  /  __        .   .     .--.  /
      \      .     . \.-.---                   `--'  /
       `.             `-'      .                   .'
         `.    o     / | `           O     .     .'
           `-.      /  |        o             .-'
              `-.          .         .     .-'
                 `---.        .       .---'
                      `--------------'

                       I AM NOT A BOZO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^L

     ____|||||///                                     
   /     |||||////        TERMINATOR TWO: BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD !!!!!11
  /  __   ||    ////                      
 |   L|   :      ===      "Hasta la vista, baby!" -- ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
 | |   __ : ___  =|=                                 (a personal friend)
 |    (_) :/__)   |   
 |/       |      \|    <--- THE TERMINATOR
  |       .\     |       
   \ \ \  :     /         I HOPE TERMINATOR THREE DOESN'T SUCK DEAD BUNNIES
    |  HHH---  |          THRU A STRAW LIKE BATMAN TWO !!!!!11
     \____:___/                                   

"THERE IS NO BATHROOM" -- MY PAL ARNOLD, KINDERGARTEN COP

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;::::;::::::::::::::

My son Herbie, age 7, needs a computer for school and I can't afford
one, would anyone like to give us one?  It would be a tax deduction for
you!  Herbie wants a Mac IIfx with a Color PostScript printer.  He needs
this by next week!  All the other kids in his class have them already!!!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

STAR TREK RULEZ!!!       ________^_______     ============= - - - - - - - - -
                          \______ _____/\       /  /     -  -  -  -  -  -  -
Write-in to Paramount            V   \   \_____/__/_  - - - - WHOOSH! - - -
to keep them from killing Spock     )|US ENTERPRISE/ -  -  -  -  -  -  -
in their next movie!!!!              |____________/ - - - - - - - - - - 

TOP TEN STAR TREK QUOTES         10) "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."
9) "Dammit Jim!"                 8)  "Spit it out, man!"
7) "I kinna do it Captain, I have not th' power!"
6) "Where's the beef?"           5)  "They're BORN pregnant!"
4) "His BRAIN is missing!" "Oh... you noticed."
               ** send mail if you want the rest **

Majel Barett was only on STAR TREK because she was married to William Shatner.
The new STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION new series that they're making 
now is too full of Yuppie bozos.  And the special effects are too good.
SHATNER COULDN'T DIRECT HIS WAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM WITH BOTH HANDS AND A MAP!

-----------------------------------=----------------------------------------------
There exist no legitimate audio  tapes of me admitting to being
an  alien,  a  government   agent,   a  sexual  pervert,  or  the
camp-follower of little  grey  men  from  Zeta  Reticuli.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
I watch Nick at Nite all day!   Xibo watches stupid soap operas!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

MY .SIGNATURE IS MORE POSTMODERN THAN YOURS!  (It's even autographed by
William S. Burroughs.  See--->?)              /
                                        \/\/. \. Burroughs
                                              /
I wish he hadn't stopped writing those Tarzan books though!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have an out-of-date copy of each of the following MTS manuals: Vol. 1, 2,
5, 7, 11, 14, 15, 16, and 24.  If you want a copy, I'm selling 'em, $1 each.
I also have lots of plastic bags for five cents each!

/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
 _________
/         \
|         |
\__\   /__/
  --| |--
   -| |-
   /| |\ 
/////\\\\\\
                           NUKE THE DAMN BUNNY ALREADY!!!!
   |  _
   \ /
    UU __
    ==/  \ 
   /\__o |
  *|__\__/
   /_ \_          "boomp boomp boomp boomp boomp..." "BOOM!!!!!!!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*****        *****    *****    ****************        ******************
*****        *****    *****    *****************      ********************
*****        *****    *****    ******************    **********************
*****        *****    *****    *****       ******    ******          ******
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****     My     *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****    name    *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****     is     *****
*****       *****     *****    *****       *****     *****    short   *****
***************       *****    ***************       *****   'cause   *****
****************      *****    ****************      *****    it's    *****
*****************     *****    *****************     *****    only    *****
*****       ******    *****    *****       ******    *****    four    *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****  letters!  *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****        *****    *****            *****
*****        *****    *****    *****       ******    ******          ******
*****        *****    *****    ******************    **********************
*****        *****    *****    *****************      ********************
*****        *****    *****    ****************        ******************

V guvax guvf dhbgr ol Qnir Oneel, zl snibevgr jevgre, rkcynvaf jul V
bsgra jrne zl haqrejrne ba zl urnq jura V tb gb jbex:

Nyy lbh unir gb qb gb frr gur npphenpl bs zl gurfvf vf ybbx nebhaq
lbh.  Ybbx, va cnegvphyne, ng gur crbcyr jub, yvxr lbh, ner znxvat
nirentr vapbzrf sbe qbvat nirentr wbof -- onax ivpr cerfvqragf,
vafhenapr fnyrfzna, nhqvgbef, frpergnevrf bs qrsrafr -- naq lbh'yy
ernyvmr gurl nyy qerff gur fnzr jnl, rffragvnyyl gur jnl gur znaardhvaf
va gur Frnef zrafjrne qrcnegzrag qerff.  Abj ybbx ng gur erny
fhpprffrf, gur crbcyr jub znxr n ybg zber zbarl guna lbh -- Rygba Wbua,
Pncgnva Xnatnebb, nalobql sebz Fnhqv Nenovn, Ovt Oveq, naq fb ba.  Gurl
nyy qerff shaal -- naq gurl nyy fhpprrq.  Ner lbh pngpuvat ba?
                -- Qnir Oneel, "Ubj gb Qerff sbe Erny Fhpprff"

TO DECODE THE FUNNIST JOKE IN THE UNIVERSE JUST PIPE THAT THROUGH "UUDECODE(1)"
_____________________________________________________________________________
R-RATED GIF FOLLOWS, PRESS N NOW!
^L

  O
(.|.)
 ).(     TIFFANY BRISSETE HAS A GREAT BOD!  WOO WOO!!!!  HUBBA HUBBA!  YOW!
( | )
 \|/


|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

fee fi fo feh.  fee fi fo feh.  fee fi fo feh.  fee fi fo feh.  fee fi fo feh.
_____________________________________________________________________________

My favorite painters are Pollock, Rothko, Warhol, Dali', Miro', Tanguy,
Rockwell, Warhol, and myself.  I'm almost as good as Dali' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My least favorite musical composer is Salieri, since he was a bozo.
                               ____________________
                              /                    \
                             /                      \
             ^______________/    __       __         \______________^
             \              |   /  \     /  \        |              /
               \            |  |  o |   | o  |       |            /
                 \          |   \__/__   \__/        |          /
                   \        |      /  \              |        /
                     \      |      \__/              |      /
             BO-       \____|    __________          |____/      -ZO
                            |   / ________ \         |
                            \  | / ______ \ |        /
                             \ |/_/      \_\|       /
                              \____________________/
                                        |
                                        |
                                  \     |      /
                                   \----+-----/
                                        |
                                        |
                                        |
                                        /\
                                       /  \
                                      /    \
                        _____________/      \____________ (clown shoes)


/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Ich bin ein .signature Virus. Mach' mit und kopiere mich in Deine .signature.
Don't ask what it means, just put it in your .signature, okay?

_____________________________________________________________________________
THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS POSTING ARE SOLELY THE AUTHORS' AND DO NOT
NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF DIGITAL EQUIPMENT CORPORATION, RENSSELAER POLY-
POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE, PENN STATE, IBM, NASA, HARVARD UNIVERSITY, SCIENTOLOGY,
ATARI CORP., STANFORD UNIVERSITY, BITNET INC., SOFTWARE TOOL & DIE, INFOCOM,
PRODIGY, RALSTON PURINA INC., JAPAN, LYNDON LaROUCHE, THE SYSOP OF USENET,
GEORGE BUSH, THE LONDON TIMES, ORACLE CORPORATION, WILLIE WHISTLE, STAR TREK
THE NEXT GENERATION, THE HOME SHOPPING CLUB, THE HAIR CHANNEL FOR MEN, OR THE
CITY OF NEW YORK.  HOWEVER YOU CAN'T SUE ME FOR SAYING ANY OF THIS BECAUSE
IF YOU SUE ME YOU'D HAVE TO QUOTE ME IN COURT AND THEN I'D SUE YOU FOR
QUOTING THIS COPYRIGHTED (C) MESSAGE!!!  MY COUSINS ARE ALL LAWYERS !!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
******************************************************************************
* NEW drawing!                                                               *
* of a RADIK00L sword thats even BIGGER then the USS ENTERPRISE wow!         *
*                                                                            *
*                 ___                                                        *
*              /\/  /                       ====@====     /////////  ---------
*             /   _/                               ``________//              *
*            /   /                                    `------'   -------------
*           /   /                                                            *
* __===__  /   /                                                             *
*/       \/----+---------------------------------------\______               *
*|        |           XCALIBER THE DECAPITATER!!!!            \______________*
*|        |                                                   /~~~~~~~~      *
*\__====_/\---+----------------------------------------/~~~~~~               *
*          \  \                                                              *
*           \  \                                                             *
*            \  \                                                            *
*             \  \_                                                          *
*              \   \          NOTE: This isnt a hyperdermic needel !!!!!!    *
*               \   \                                                        *
*                \/\_\                                                       *
*                                                ITS SO GOOD I FRAMED IT !!!!*
******************************************************************************

aibophobia (ay' bo fo beeya): n. The fear of palindromes.

kibophobia (ki' bo fo beeya): n. The fear of Kibo.

kibophobik (ki' bo fo bik): n. The fear of Kibo's palindromes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'M STILL 100% FLAMEPROOF!   /   I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!  /  HI MARK!
____________________________/____________________________________/___________
Arsenio Hall is the black Johnny Carson but Byron Allen is the black Pat Sajak!
But at least Byron Allen is funnier than Skip Stephenson or John Barbour!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
IBM's "AIX" operating system is better than "real" "UNIX" systems
because "AIX" has "man" pages that show "pictures" of each "command"!
Here's an "example", isn't this "cute"?

RM, DELETE(1,C)             AIX Commands Reference              RM, DELETE(1,C)

PURPOSE

Removes files or directories.

SYNTAX

  one of
+--------+   +------------+
| rm     |---|   +----+   |--- file ---|
| delete |   +---| -f |---+ ^        |
+--------+     ^ | -i | |   +--------+
               | | -r | |
               | | -- | |
               | | -s | |
               | +----+ |
               +--------+
____________________________________________________ \o clip and save _______
                                                     /O
                                                        <--those are scissors
                 .------------
             .--'  o     . .   `--
          .-'   .    O   .       . `
       .-'@   @@@@@@@   .  @@@@@
      /@@@  @@@@@@@@@@@   @@@@@@@   .<--- Crater Parry -- I paid $15 for it!
    ./    o @@@@@@@@@@@   @@@@@@@
    /@@  o   @@@@@@@@@@@.   @@@@@@@   O
   /@@@@   .   @@@@@@@o    @@@@@@@@@@     @
   |@@@@@               . @@@@@@@@@@@@@ o @@
  /@@@@@  O  `.-./  .      @@@@@@@@@@@@    @             Full Moon +
   | @@@@    --`-'       o     @@@@@@@@ @@@@              2 17:08:58
   |@ @@@        `    o      .  @@   . @@@@@@             Last Quarter -
   |       @@  @         .-.     @@@   @@@@@@             4 16:02:05
   \  . @        @@@     `-'   . @@@@   @@@@
     |      @@   @@@@@ .           @@   .
     \     @@@@  @\@@    /  .  O    .     o
      \  o  @@     \ \  /         .    .
       `\     .    .\.-.___   .      .   .-
          \           `-'                `-
           `-.   o   / |     o    O   .
               `-.   /     .       .    .
                  `--.       .      .--
                        `------------

          If this posting offends you, then you're a WEENERBRAIN!!!


             @@@@@@  @@  @@  @@@@@@        @@@@@@  @@  @@  @@@@@
               @@    @@  @@  @@            @@      @@@ @@  @@  @@
               @@    @@@@@@  @@@@@         @@@@@   @@@@@@  @@  @@
               @@    @@  @@  @@            @@      @@ @@@  @@  @@
               @@    @@  @@  @@@@@@        @@@@@@  @@  @@  @@@@@

             @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
             Dedicated to Gene Roddenberry, who died last year...
             @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

-------\__/
|     * /
|_____-/  BOSTON, MASSACHUSSETTS <-- SITE OF WORLD.COM PUBLIC ACCESS UNIX
                                     ONLY A DOLLAR A MINUTE PLUS CONNECT TIME!

          AND NO I DON'T KNOW MICHAEL DUKAKIS PERSONALLY!
^L

12345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890XXXXX DON'T GO INTO THE X'S !!!!!



 ^L
 ^L
 ^L
 ^D
 ^D
 ^D
 .
 exit
 stop
 bye
 ^C
 ^Z
 !sh
 !ed
 /exit
 quit
 q
 /quit
 ~x
 help
 help stop
 !help
 logout
 $signoff
 write sysop "how do i stop this ???"
 psot
 post
 ^P^O^S^T

 this line intentionally left blank so that the following line will be #350.

 THIS IS THE THREE HUNDRED FIFTIETH LINE OF MY .SIGNATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                the edn


P.S.:
----------
From mathew@mantis.co.uk Tue Jul  2 11:28:05 1991
To: James 'Kibo' Parry <kibo@world.std.com>
Subject: Re: Call for creation of alt.evolutionary.acceleration
From: Industrial Poet <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Comments: Civilization is a momentary failure of entropy
Date: Tue, 02 Jul 91 10:55:39 BST
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

Might I suggest adding the following quote to your .signature:

"It seems like it's time to retire the length-of-sig-wasted-bandwidth flame.
The point really is, News is BIG and .signatures, even long ones, are small."
                            - Mark-Jason Dominus <mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu>


mathew
----------

----------

                     SEE BATMAN 2 !!!!
--

                        I HAVE A BLACK BELT !

--



Xref: sparky alt.slack:1365 talk.bizarre:10569