HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca (Mark Nesdoly)
Subject: Re: Mondays
Organization: University of Saskatchewan
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 21:58:59 GMT

nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw) writes:
>!Peeve: I no longer live below a wannabe athlete. In die alte days I had an

Peeve:  Right now, an FBI (FuckingBigIdiot) lives above me, and the vibrations
        sent through my apartment have been sufficient at times to knock the 
        clock off of the mantle.  He moves around his apartment with all the 
        grace of a pregnant elephant performing a number of circus tricks.  He
        also is not satisfied to close his kitchen cupboards like civilized 
        man, but rather he chooses to slam them with all the force that his 
        pudgy arms can impart to them.  And that's when he's alone...When his
        equally fat friends grace the apartment with their presence, I can't 
        help but think that an Israeli 747 is going to crash through the 
        ceiling.              

-- Mark

Every dogma has its day.
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Chunderation
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Date: 12 Oct 92 22:09:28 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>>Ok, so you're more than a student.  You're still less than a
>>restaraunt owner, which was my point.

>"less than a restaurant owner"?  

"You're something *other* than a restaurant owner."

Sheesh.

>But Andy, honey, it seems that my posts make YOUR stomach churdle, YOUR
>temples throb, YOUR bunions ache and YOUR teeth grind.  

Exactly.  That's why I write about it here.

>And you know, my
>love, I live only to give you these simple pleasures  :-)  :-)   :-)

What a shameless flirt you are.

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
  What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth?  Judging from
  realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a 
  common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
                                                 -- Dave Barry
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Confusion abounds (Was: Preserve our cultural heritage!)
Date: Thu, 08 Oct 92 13:54:14 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <ATAYLOR.92Oct7171703@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
>	Count yourself lucky; there was one of those annoying
>	white-faced droids running into glass walls and 
>	pouring from invisible pitchers into equally invisible
>	glasses on campus just a little while ago.
   When you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer? Or perhaps you 
should just club him with an olive loaf.

ObPeeve: It is about 40 deg outside. Not too bad. However, the AC is
still on in this building and it is freezing in here. If things go
like they normally do, the AC will remain on until the middle of Dec.
when the heater will get turned on. It will be set to the "Core of the
Sun" setting and left there until the middle of August or so when the 
AC will get turned on again.

-- 
"Hey, Guido! It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and
you're the lemon merchant. Getit? And he knows it! That's why he's gonna kill
us. So we gotta beat it. Yeah, before he lets loose the marmosets on us! - Ren
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: 10 Oct 92 21:34:05 GMT
Organization: Indiana University

cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:

>Now, if you want a recipe for pained whale... i could probably ask around...

No need, I have one right here.  
From _A Gourmet's Book of Beasts_ by Faith Medlin:

"Whale meat varies in quality according to the section of the animal
 from which it is taken.  The red meat resembles beef in appearance and
 flavor; until about 1969 it was marketed in this country [US] in
 frozen one-pound packages.  The muscle under the ventral grooves is
 made into whale bacon and resembles pork in texture and taste."

"Whale with mushrooms and cauliflower," the recipe in question, is a
simple stir-fry of thinly sliced whale meat marinated in soy sauce and
cornstarch, 'shrooms, cauliflower, with a bit of white wine.

How plebean.  
This is a goddamn _whale_ i bought and all you can do is stir-fry the bugger?

So my peeve, of course, is fradulent recipes that are actually trivial
modifications of other recipes.  I mean, if you have a slab of bear
bacon, your recipe should _use_ the fact that bear tastes like fish.

>Now i know what i should have done.  Mailed back a recipe for reindeer
>steak.  (Available on request.)

In Finland, I'm told, you can get reindeer and cloudberry pizza.
-- 

Kiran Wagle                           <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Hare Triggers
Date: 8 Oct 1992 19:28:36 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu


In article <1992Oct8.125634.19841@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:
>    Here the transcript abruptly ends, cut to a commercial advertizing
>the new "Organic Yogurt n Sprouts" shop across the street which
>is packed with healthy, slender, cheerful, PC, bunnyhugging, vegetarian
>Liberals.

CHEERFUL? With all that's wrong in the world? What kind of PC vegetarian
Liberals are these anyway?

I always knew that commercials don't mirror real life.

Peter!

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (The Unorthodox Rabbi)
Subject: Re: Religion & Such
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Church of the Living Swing
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 19:00:43 GMT


!PEEVE: Geoff Miller, who has a way with newsgroups:

In article <ldoi2sINNnqj@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>, Mr. Alt.tasteless ejaculates:

        Over in alt.tasteless the other day, we had a couple of
        orthodox Jews  discussing whether it was okay to felch on
        the Sabbath.  Ghod, I love that newsgroup!

Geoff, my son, felching is treff, ergo forbidden at any time. Squicking, on
the other hand (if you really want to include a hand) is not only kosher but
mandatory on the Sabbath. Also sprach Rabbi Karnal Wissenschaft, who knows
these things because he has a direct pipeline to G*D. You oughta see MY stone
tablets.

--
Nolan "One of these days..." Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"You can't combat illiteracy with soap" Jenny Gutbezahl, alt.peeves
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: /home/ludviga/cindy/.organization
Date: 9 Oct 92 15:03:22

Dan Hillman queries:
>>Now i know what i should have done.  Mailed back a recipe for
reindeer
>>steak.  (Available on request.)

>Us folks out here in New Mexico just wanna know what you do with the
glowing 
>red nose.

You mean you haven't figured out where maraschino cherries come from
yet? 

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondheim, Norway
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Hare Triggers
Date: 8 Oct 92 15:17:26 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon


Peeve: Peevetown

Peeve:  "chat" newsgroups

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: 14 Oct 92 07:00:28 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

01sybok, imitating Jefferson Darcy, writes:
>> saying you were unoriginal, shallow, and had misguided spite, but I
>                              ^^^^^^^

>1 outta 3 ain't bad, and as I recall you *did* give me credit for 

Perceiving one out of three of your deficiencies probably indicates
why you have tha dopey, self-satisfied grin on your face.  You
shouldn't.  You just need to work harder.

>originality for the "Darwin's Grab Bag" comment (well, you called it wit, but
>close enough). 

They aren't really equivalent.  Sort of like Mikey and rational
human being aren't equivalent.  Or like saying snake navels and "in
the dirt" are equivalent.  Are you a snake navel, Mikey?

>Rule Number One of Life, Banta: Beautiful People are never wrong. 

This might be applicable if you were beautiful, here in this
newsgroup, Mikey.  You see, physical beauty doesn't apply, here.
Based on your writings, I've just quietly wrinkled my nose at your
material, much like a prim, high-society marm wrinkles her nose at
dust on the doorsills or mildew behind the toilet.  I don't know
why.  But I've decided I've been polite long enough.

If your writing is any indication of of beauty, you're ugly.  You're
so ugly a slug wouldn't crawl across your face.  Cats didn't even try
to bury you in the sandbox because you smelled so bad. Maggots
wouldn't even feed on you.  If you went swimming in a sludge tank,
the sewage workers would get sick.  Yeah, you're that ugly.

>Therefore
>I accept your apology.

That wasn't an apology I slipped in your mouth.

>Beautiful People never have to study; their profs owe them straight a's for 
>brightening up the class.

Yeah.  I wouldn't hire anyone for Dalhousie (or whatever), regardless
of GPA.  Your school's reputation precedes you.

>Plus I already have my degree. DO try to stay current.

Nice placemat, eh?

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
 Placard:  "Will work for food"
 Response: "Blow me!"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Debate?
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 22:05:46 GMT

In <1bce3uINN44l@agate.berkeley.edu> curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

>In article <LARRY.92Oct12093026@peak.psl.nmsu.edu> larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:

>>Sheesh. I'm peeved that at what is being called a Debate. What I remember
>>as a debate involves some profound statement or premise, e.g. "Government
>>should tax organized religion" or such, with two opposing speakers or 
>>teams to defend/refute the clause.

>I think the term you're looking for is "circle jerk."

And the "American Public" is the pivot man.
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: avdh@sunnyboy.dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Heide)
Subject: Re: Lou Reed 
Organization: Dazix - An Intergraph Company
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 16:45:43 GMT

In article <1992Oct14.001216.9532@twg.com>, donp@twg.com (Petty Don) scrawls:
> In article <1992Oct13.142313.8750@dazixco.ingr.com> avdh@sunnyboy.dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Puke) feebly laments:
> >
>   
>  An obviously painful rebuke by me deleted
> 
> >
> >  [My calm, reasoned, spelling correction and explanation of terminology
> >   deleted]
> >

You thought well enough of of my reply to make sure everyone would see it
again.  Thanks.

> 
> Alain, re-read the above then just follow the group for a while without
> posting.

I have.  Hence, my posting.

> BTW, you're lucky that you tried your first flame on me, if you
> had ruffled that '242lbs. before puking' guy's feathers, you'd most likely
> be gone for good.

I'm scared.  I'm shaking.

> 
> -Don 'the cross Nolan has to bear' Pette
> 
> dickfor?

4mm.  Grab the wrong hair and piss down your leg.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 15:09:04 EDT
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Yet Another Pennsylvania Driving Annoyance

I called the driver's examination point last week to ask them
how to get my learner's permit renewed (it was expiring that thursday,
and I was hoping to take the driving test that saturday, so I needed
to get it renewed first).  They told me I just had to go there.
I asked if it was ok to go there on saturday to get it renewed even
though it expired on thursday.  They said that was fine.
I showed up on saturday, and found that they were closed.  (They are
normally open Saturday, Tuesday, and Thursday.)  I eventually determined,
by calling the state police, that since monday was a federal holiday,
and they don't normally work mondays, they took saturday off instead
to insure that they got the correct number of days off.
How amazingly stupid.

-Sonja
------
SEK@psuvm.psu.edu SEK@PSUVM.BITNET
...you may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you
don't try.                                  - Beverly Sills
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Esoteric Skinhead O'Connor (Was stuff about Mac D's)
Date: 9 Oct 92 10:54:29 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <1b1rrgINN2tj@bigboote.WPI.EDU> padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:
~
~Notice that she could have protested the actions of the Serbians and the
~Bosnians killing each other, or the Sudanese or Somalian governments
~killing their people, or even people killing each other in Northern
~Ireland. She spoke out against the Pope, who many feel (whether you
~or she likes it or not) is a great force for peace in the world, because
~apparently he is causing the mess in Ulster, instead of going to Belfast
~and picketing the IRA offices or whoever is directly involved. Of course,
~she'd risk getting her ass blown off.

If memory serves me correctly, SNL is produced in New York, a city with
a homicide rate significantly greater than that in Belfast. But hey,
let's keep common sense out of the discussion. Let's not consider *why*
people might not like the Pope. Let's not think about teenage rape
victims who are forced to carry the childred on their attackers, or any
depressing stuff like that. It's much cosier if we just skulk around in
the darkness clutching our rosaries and being forgiven for our sins
every week.

Peeve: Religion of all descriptions.

ExtraPeeve: Other mindless beliefs, like Conservatism, Libertarianism....

-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          Vommen
                                             Bladmagen
                                   Loepmagen
                        Naetmagen
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: (Im)personal stereos
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 03:50:08 GMT

In article <lds05jINNh9h@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM writes:

>"All the evil in the world stems from man's inability to sit quietly in
>an empty room." -- I forget (Voltaire, maybe?)

More likely Proust, given his predilections regarding interior decoration.

>Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "Often in error, never in doubt." 
rickg@netcom.com |   --- Universal Marketing Department motto
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:15322 misc.misc:3475
From: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,misc.misc
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Date: 8 Oct 92 23:58:36 GMT
Article-I.D.: CS.1992Oct08.235836.14250
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu
Organization: Up the,

In article <ld9ahfINNdg7@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>, geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
|> 
|> 
|> In article <BvtF6L.KKF@encore.com> dlwilson@fenix.encore.com (David L Wilson) writes:
|> 
|> >And don't forget those illiterates who say "nucular".  Die rat bastard!!
|> 
|> There ya go.  And also the ones who say "reeletter" and "asterick."
|> 
|> 

My favorite expressions for the week:  Change 360 degrees.  Change 180%

-- 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Tim's to do list ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
1. Get old, die.
2. I must not think bad thoughts.
3. Get mine before this fetid rotting contaminated carcass we 
   call Earth collapses about our collective head.
4. Read a good book.
5. Eliminate homicidal clones of self.
6. Consult hyperintelligent aliens about personal life.
7. Make itemized account of all precious bodily fluids.
8. Play basketball.
9. Sell Michael Eisner plan to turn Buddha into animated 
   Saturday morning crimefighter.
10.Collect ozone in tiny little bottles, sell as souvenirs in 20
   years, get rich.
11.Point out connection among Maastricht passage, freak storm,
   and biblical prophecy for food.
12.Redeem cereal box top for Hubbel space binoculars.

---------Tim Mefford      tim@physics.orst.edu-----------------
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.cascade
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Out your ears (Re: Kill Yr Peers (Re: Moving to Algiers (Re: I think my rent is in arears (Was Re: This'll be long, in a few
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 92 13:27:57 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow
Keywords: cascade in subject line ignore

In article <Bw1tvM.IsM@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>, simms@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (dan) writes:
|> feygin@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Alexander Feygin) writes:
|> >mbur@nyx.cs.du.edu (MAC) writes:
|> >} ryan@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (amy) writes:
|> >} >do you know why???
|> >} I could just die!!
|> >you make me cry
|> Here's mud in your eye!

By god, it IS school time again and we're loaded with post-high-schoolers
who can readily be identified because they:

A) Think "cascades" are fun and/or creative.
B) Think it's cute to add unrelated newsgroups to the "Newsgroups" line 
   when they post something.
C) Don't bother to check the "Newsgroups:" line when they followup.
D) All of the above.

I removed alt.romance.chat (or whateverthehellitis) from the line, along with
a UIUC internal group, alt.slack and alt.stupidity.  I probably should've
left the last one in there.

Let's get one thing straight once and for all: "Cascades" are moronic. 
Anyone who posts them has no life and very little business with any access
to anything as powerful as a computer.

Get it outta here. We have plenty of peeves to work with without others
being forced on us.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dr. Pavlov's distinguished career came to an      |
|abrupt end one day when the doorbell rang and the |
|dog ate the Avon lady.                            |
+--------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Chunderation
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 14:45:14 GMT

In article <1bd9ncINN9ha@agate.berkeley.edu> henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken) writes:

>
>You were right the first time.  Jenny-poo's nit-picking was just stupidity.
                                 ^^^^^^^^^

Look, Matt, surely you're imaginative enough to come up with your own 
nickname for me.  Jenny-poo is Banta's denigrating way of referring to
me; come up with one of your own, 'kay?

>In order to be a restaurant owner, certain things have to be true of you.
>There is a set of associated, defining properties. If you have some of these
>properties and not others, you fall short of being a restaurant owner.  That
>is, you are less than a restaurant owner:  

So let's see. You lack some of the properties of being a tree slug.
Therefore, by your argument, you are less than a tree slug.  You are also
less than a stubbed out cigarette soaked in urine, less than a pair of 
diarrhea-covered undershorts that you have been wearing for three and a
half weeks without washing or removing and less than half a woman.


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: idjits
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Distribution: world,local
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 22:40:42 GMT

In article <5789@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched) writes:
>
>  (stuff about assholes at party singing off key deleted)
>
>Your husband didn't buy you a big enough ring.
>

I don't see what that has to do with anything.  Learning that I am married
has never deterred any of my, er, suitors in the least.  Now when Greg and
I were just _living_together_ that seemed to stop 'em.  I guess they just
couldn't stomach the thought of disrupting a perfectly happy couple who
were living in sin together.  But butting into a marriage seems fine. 

>If you take one of the aforementioned assholes seriously, he will fix that.


Will fix what?  He'll buy me a bigger ring?   I like the one I have very much
thank you - although to be perfectly honest, I didn't realize what it was
when it was first presented to me.  Greg had the waiter bring it out in
a little gold-tone box with the Spumoni and I just kinda figured it was like,
I don't know, a crackerjack toy.  Free prize with your dessert.  It never
occured to me that it could be a REAL stone set in REAL gold.  I figured
it was glass and plastic.  But I didn't really see why I got a toy & Greg
didn't.  So I just sat there staring dumbly at it, while everyone ELSE
at Monte's Venetian Room, who had figured out what was going on by this
point, waited impatiently for my answer.  Finally, Greg, romantic that
he is, looked at me and said "Well?"  So I caught on that this was a
proposal.

Anyway, my peeve isn't with guys who try to pick me up even though I'm 
married.  That doesn't bother me & it doesn't bother Greg.  Nor does it
bother me when other women flirt with my husband; I think it shows 
extraordinarily good taste on their part.  What bothers me is tacky
popsongs and predictable pickup lines.

Peeve:  Idiots who think that just because you're married you can't have
a friendly, and even flirtatious conversation with a member of the opposite
sex.  Christ, it's not like I'm dead or something.

-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more