From: slh@gtech.com (Sandy L. Haddon)
Subject: Good News!!
Organization: GTECH Corporation, West Greenwich, RI
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 00:14:16 GMT


Greetings all!!!

I feel SO GOOD, I had to post something to tell you all.

Over the weekend, I attended the Bradshaw workshop on "Homecoming" in
Hartford, Conn.  It was awful.  It was wonderful.  

I have to give you a little backround.  

I got a call from the dragon (my therapist) one sunday in January.  She
told me that the local PBS station was running a John Bradshaw series
and thought I could benefit from watching.  I was not interested and had
loads of plans but I plunked in a tape in the VCR and went out.

I taped only a few hours of the series but when I watched them, I wished
I had taped more.  So I bought the book and began the exercises.  I have
had one hell of a time with this stuff.  It's hard and scary work.  I
kept feeling haunted by the idea that I wasn't doing it "right" (as if
there is a "right" or a "wrong" (black or white...)).  I asked one of
the male therapists that I took a stress management course with to tape
the infant mediation words for me and he did.  Again, I was haunted.  I
couldn't visualise an infant and me at the same time.  Then the infant
had no mouth.  Then the adult could be there but no infant...and vice versa.

So I heard of the the workshop and decided to go.  Might as well give it
a try, eh?  I purchased the non-refundable tickets, booked a guaranteed
for late arrival room and got nervous about going.  

I went though!  I was unaware that I had "set myself up" for this so that
I would HAVE to go.  Everything was paid for en advance and so I made myself
make the drive.  Endlessly racking my brain for ways out and how to protect
myself at the same time...

Folks, this workshop for me was just wonderful.  I want to list the most
important points I came away with:

1) You have to grieve.
2) You are entitled to your pain.
3) Grief will not kill you, its just a perception.
   (It's ok, you are gonna be ok.)
4) It's important to break the rules and talk about it.
5) It's important to have someone validate it.
6) It's important to accept it.
7) Once you accept it, you get to take care of you and you can learn what
   you need and how to get what you need.
 
I got to watch a whole raft (maybe 200) people show up, break the silence
and work on their stuff with each other.  I was impressed by them and
then it occured to me that I was impressed by me, I was doing the work too!

I heard people sob from the gut.  I cried but not with the same intensity
that I have in the past.  On the second day, we did the Homecoming meditation
and I actually felt better!!  I feel like I have my inner child held to 
my breast now.  It's kind of outside of and inside of me all at the same 
time.  I feel like I can love me and do for me a whole lot better than I
did prior to this workshop.

Oh almost forgot the tools!  I have the book but there were tapes of music
and the cassette and videos available but more importantly there were all
sorts of little items of interest.  For examples: a "recovery networker"
newspaper (local to the northeast U. S.) and of course the work itself.

Well I have to get myself home and walk the dog.
Just wanted to let you know that it was a really good thing to do for 
myself right now.   Sometimes things do turn out right and when they
do it feels as good or better than I ever thought it would!   :).

Take care of your selves as best you can.

San :)
Happily cheering for myself.