From: usubrama@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Uma M Subramanian)
Subject: Re: More About India/ Whither Patriotism
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 10:27:54 GMT

Let me see if I can follow the drifts in this Premkumar guy's
rationciations:

First he came up with grandiose claims about how India is a haven of
safety for women save the four/five big cities and challenged people
to cite cases of sexual assault in towns and rural India; claimed that
the workplace is safe in India whereas the women in America go to
work every day with great trepidations; confused consensual adult
behavior such as picking someone up at a bar (as is done in the 'degenerate'
west) with forced, unsolicited, animalistic, sexual advances that a
man imposes on a woman in public in the case of public sexual assaults.
And finally bleated a customary "I'm not saying that women have equality
in India, but ...". All this with *no* facts to substantiate, in that
first article that sent the blood pressure up for all the women who read
it and who responded.

THen, in the face of subsequent retaliations from women and men, he
responded with revolutionary suggestions like: "the women shouldn't
take all this lying down; why don't they report these cases?",  "I
never said that the society and the family prepare the women to counteract
this -- the parents should teach their daughters to battle this",
"yeah, we Indians -- we quit so easily", "we don't believe in reform,
we are not fighters". He essentially spent all his time (and took
up every third or fourth article on this thread) taking back everything
he said in that previous article and paying lip service to women's
issues with "I sympathize with all the women ...." "I never said that
there is no sexism ..."

And in the meantime, some others of his ilk jumped in and made dire
predictions for those Indian women who think US is better for women
(which incidentally, is, every woman who wrote on this subject, and
from some email responses I got, every one who wrote to me):
When their physical charm is gone and their smooth skin is all wrinkled
with age, these women will realize that no American man wants them
and will have to do with an Indian. (I wonder what the logical
connection is between preferring the US to India and preferrign AMerican
men to Indian men.)

And now the current trend in this noble movement to evoke patriotism is
emotioanl blackmail. "Why do we Indians engage in India bashing" type
of question moved this guy to another spell of sweeping generalizations:

The truth according to Mr. M.P. Premkumar is:

It's because we feel secretly guilty of being renegades; because we
decided to stay for a washer and a dryer; we like the material
compforts and don't want to go back; we find the malfunctioning
Indian system a convenient excuse instead of fighting to reform it.

I've had it up to here with these moralistic holier-than-thou preachers.
This brand of martyr-like patriotism is as sickening as the "Bust Iraq"
wave of "we shouldn't fail our country". I respect one's decision to
support the president in "restoring world peace" or the decision to
go back and fight the system. But how dare these people make judgement
calls on those who decide to do otherwise?

FIrst of all, if I decide to not go back to India, I don't have to
give anyone any reason.

Secondly, if I do choose to give a reason, it doesn't have to be a noble
one. May be it's great things like "I want to be a part of the cutting
edge of research in my field", or "I like the freedom I enjoy here that
I never had in India" or "I like the international mix here". May be
it is "I liek the material comforts here", "I like the cars here".
May be it is "Now that Woody Allen is single again, I'd like to stick
around and try my chances" or "You can't wear slinky clothes in India"
or "You don't get Pritikin soup in India". How presumptuous to accuse
people of choosing material comforts!

And may be some have all the wealth in India that they need to lead a
comfortable life, either through their savings here or by other means
(a someone already poitned out). LIfe here is harder in many ways
than in India.

Everyone faced with the decision of where to settle down agonizes over
it without these preachers taking it upon themselves to play guilt
tricks on those who decide to not go back to India. It's an intensely
private decision and it's nobody's bloody concern except the one making
it.

So, if you have nothing more to say about why India is better for
women, stop moralizing to those who said they want to make US their
home.

Uma Subramanian

PS: I'm not going to waste my time responding to rejoinders of
the same kind I discussed in this post.
Xref: sparky soc.culture.indian:34060 alt.rodney-king:1743