From: mccarthy@stsci.edu
Subject: Re: Having children close together-happy stories wanted
Organization: Space Telescope Science Institute
Distribution: world,local
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 09:20:40 GMT




In article <00711433743@elgamy.sccsi.com>, elg@elgamy.sccsi.com (Eric Lee Green) writes:
> From article <144jjpINNos1@smaug.West.Sun.COM>, by zoe@cypress.West.Sun.COM (Zoe Friedlander):
>> I read the FAQ on how far apart to have children, and I see that most people
>> suggested wide spacing, though a (very) few seemed to think narrow spacing
>> worked.  In case someone might be going to have two children close together,
>> like let's say 19 months apart, and feels very anxious after reading that
>> FAQ, could some of you who had kids close together and wouldn't have done
>> it any other way please e-mail me?
> 
> Well, I don't have kids, but...
> 
> My brother and I were 26 months apart. For most of our childhood we were
> best friends and best enemies at the same time. I still remember how we
> would have trouble getting to sleep some nights because I would say
> something then he'd say something and I'd respond then he'd respond then
> .... (Note: we shared a room -- sort of :-).
> 
> I chatted with him earlier today, around 6pm. I asked him to handle some
> bank business for him, and he asked me to help him with his resume. Then I
> asked him for his recipe for hash-browned potatos (heck, I need to eat,
> after all!).
> 
> Needless to say, this indicates that we're still pretty close.
> 
> I haven't the foggiest notion how my mother coped with the Terrible Twos
> while pregnant with my brother, but apparently she managed.
> 
> --
>  Eric Lee Green      elg@elgamy.sccsi.com     (713) 437-6908
>      Shadowbriar School, Houston, TX

  I am a mother of two children, a boy, Ryan age 3 1/2 and a girl, Erin age 2.
  While pregnant with Ryan, I was also apprehensive.  How would I cope
  with two children 18 months apart?  It wasn't as bad as I had imagined,
  however, alot depends on you personal tolerance level.  I am not a person
  that gets overly concerned about piles of dirty laundry and killer dustballs
  and therefor resolved that housekeeping would have to wait.  I would also
  like to add that I was a stay at home mom until Erin was 23 months, which
  which means that I wasn't spread to thin with extra responsibilities.

  While pregnant, I worried that Ryan would be jealous and that I was cheating
  him of that special one on one relationship that we shared.  He actually 
  benefitted from the experience.  He has become more independent and developed
  an ability to occupy himself.  He really didn't display the classic char-
  acteristics of jealousy that so many other children do, for example,
  regression or trying to hurt the baby.  I attribute this to the fact that
  there have always been other children in the house since I used to babysit,
  and that one on one time was achieved during Erin's nap times.

  However, Erin did not receive the same amount, or type of attention that Ryan
  received.  There were times soon after her birth when I simply could not drop
  what I was doing with Ryan, to pick up Erin as the first peep.  Although it 
  caused a great deal of anxiety for me at the time, I now see that Erin is a
  much more tolerant child.  There are still times where I feel guilty though.
  Like when it's bedtime and Erin wants to be read to, Ryan wants to partici-
  pate and already knows all the stories.  I try to separate them but sometimes
  its hard because he is scared of the dark and wants someone to sleep with him.
  Now I let them sleep together in the same bed.  As a result, they have become
  very close.  
 
  Ryan is very protective of his sister and Erin looks to her brother for 
  direction and entertainment.  Sure there are the inevitable fights over toys
  and even our affection; and there will always be.  Ryan may have had his 
  parents undivided attention but Erin has had the benefit of an older sibling
  to copy.  She was faster to talk and enunciates better.  I have observed her
  watching him which gives her a jump on other children her age.  So to sum it
  all up, before Erin was about 8 months old, things were very hectic and there
  was little time for myself.  Now that they are older they have grown very 
  close and entertain each other, which is very rewarding to watch.  They play
  with some of the same toys, share the same friends and relate to each other
  in ways that children spaced further apart can't.  I wouldn't have it any 
  other way.  

  I didn't mean for this to be so long winded but hoped it helped.

  Sandy McCarthy
  Baltimore, Md
Newsgroups: misc.kids