From: IO81409@MAINE.MAINE.EDU (Ailsa N.T. Murphy)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Why did you become a parent? (was Re: Are kids really worth it?)
Date: 21 Jul 92 05:28:38 GMT
Article-I.D.: MAINE.92203.012838IO81409
 <18231@drutx.ATT.COM> <3182@master.CNA.TEK.COM> <1992Jul17.102048.1391@tac.fi>
Organization: University of Maine System

why did i become a parent?  because i got pregnant.  totally unplanned,
and no one ever congratulated me, even when i decided that i was
actually rathe pleased after all.  the women i worked with in the
factory at the time all turned up their noses at me and refused to
speak to me once i told them i was pregnant.

actually, that's not true.  i did get one congratulations, frmo a
friend who was at the sorbonne at the time, whom i wrote to to tell
i was expecting, i wasn't going to give it up for adoption, and
PLEASE congratulate me, as everyone else was hasslign me and
condoling me and i just couldn't handle it any more.

i might have another child someday, just to have a chance to enjoy
having a little one around.  i never got a chance to really dote
on the baby because the boyfriend who became my husband who is as
of today officially and IRREVOCABLY my ex-husband (yay!!!!!!!)
really didn't like the baby, and was jealous of any affection i
spent on her.

but that doesn't answer why i became a parent, i suppose.  i
just knew i could never have an abortion, although i would
never put down someone who could, and i was all set to give the
baby up for adoption as everyone said i should, when i had a
dream that the baby was born and died.  in the dream i was
frantically rushing through the hospital trying to find a
priest to baptize the baby so she wouldn't go to hell, and
couldn't find one anywhere.  when i woke up i knew that i
had to keep the baby.  her biological sperm thing blew up at
me when i told him of my decision, saying that i was no fit
mother for any child of his (good enough to screw though, i
guess) and moved out within the week.  when i moved up to
orono to attend the university of maine, i never saw him
again.  he has never met katy and unless she goes looking for him
when she grows up, he never will.  i have a file of a few
things about him, though, in case she wants to know.  i didn't
save the newspaper clippings from later when he went to court
for writing rubber checks, but i do have a birthday card from
his mother, with her return address on it, and a copy of his
resume.

i became a parent because katy was my child and i loved her.
and because i was lonely.  now i have a wonderful five year
old daughter who will be off to kindergarten in the fall.
she is a big women's music fan and is looking forward to
going to music festivals with me, and loves camping.  we
seem to have similar tastes.  i'm pleased.

                                     -ailsa
It's not what you got, it's what you give           _______________
It ain't the life you want, it's the life you live. \    DYKE    /
It's not what you got, it's what you give             \ PRIDE! /
And it ain't what it's not, but what it is.             \    /
(IO81409@maine.maine.edu or wang.com!ailanth!ailsa)       \/
Newsgroups: misc.kids,sci.med