From: mschenk@research.ptt.nl (Mike Schenk +31 70 33 23926)
Subject: Ik (Mike) ben een heks!
Organization: PTT Research
Distribution: nlnet
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 09:09:56 GMT

In article <3895@dozo.and.nl>, jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
> In article <1992Nov19.202101.1@research.ptt.nl> mschenk@research.ptt.nl (Mike Schenk +31 70 33 23926) writes:
> |In article <3888@dozo.and.nl>, jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
> |> In article <1992Nov18.150445.1611@si.hhs.nl> v912382@demedts.si.hhs.nl (Maximus) writes:
> |> |
> |> |Mike is een hij en heksen zijn een zij en daar hij een hij is en geen zij
> |> |kan hij geen zij zijn daar alleen zij een heks kan zijn.
> |> |(Duidelijk?)
> |> 
> |> Nee, ik snap er niets van; om twee redenen: 
> |> 
> |> punt 1: ik ben er helemaal niet zo zeker van of Mike wel een man is.
> |
> |Nou daar ben ik nu dus ook aan gaan twijfelen. Maar geen nood ik 
> |heb het zojuist aan het USEnet Oracle gevraagd. Dus als hij zich 
> |even van Liza kan losrukken dan krijg ik wel een sluitend 
> |antwoord. Als het zover is dan post ik het wel zodat dat probleem 
> |ook uit de wereld is.
>  
> Say no more! Do you want to come upstairs then eh? bouncy bouncy? 
> wink, wink, nudge, nudge!

Nu je er toch over begint, het Oracle heeft geoordeeld over mijn 
geslacht en heksendom:
------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Almighty oracle, ruler of the wasteland and keeper of the seven 
> keys please help me since I am confused.
> 
> Recently it has been brought to my attention that I am a witch. 
> However, since I think I am a male and witches are female I do 
> have a problem. Either I am correct about being a male and thus I 
> am not a witch or I am female and a witch. Please tell me which 
> is the case!
> 
>     Best regards
> 
>     	Mike aka Marieke

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} There are such things as male witches, you know.  Usually they are called
} wizards (warlock has unpleasant connotations, so it's not often used).
} 
} However, you are definitely a female witch disguised as a man.  The disguise
} is pretty near perfect -- you can even get women pregnant! -- so if you're
} really happier pretending to be male, just stay disguised and live out your
} life that way.  If not, consider the modeling industry -- no, not computer
} models, dummy -- fashion modeling.  A few good spells applied to yourself
} could make you beautiful, rich, famous, and the lust object of millions of
} men.  GIFs illegally scanned from your swimsuit calendars will be posted
} on alt.supermodels.
} 
} Of course, about half of the top fashion models in the world are also witches
} who have transformed themselves; most of the rest have been transformed by
} witches.  So if you want to break into the industry, be careful that you
} don't offend anybody.  Elle MacPherson is 173 years old, a hideous crone in
} her true form, and horribly powerful.  If she wanted to turn you into a
} banana slug, say, she could do it with hardly a second thought, and your
} powers aren't up to fending off such an attack, let alone retaliating.
} Cheryl Tiegs is not the original Cheryl Tiegs: "she" is a man who offended
} the witch who created the Cheryl Tiegs appearance and persona, and that
} witch changed him into that form and went on to become a younger model.
} So be careful!
} 

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