HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: I'm Back and I have a Problem!
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 22:42:01 GMT

fsacp@acad3.alaska.edu wrote:

:   Here's my problem:  When I told her about this today, she asked me to think
: about my reasons and tell her next week.  Right now I'm trying to come up with
: a way of telling her without hurting her feelings.  I had found out that she
: doesn't have a degree in counseling well at least not a masters.  She doesn't
: know that I know this though.
:   I like her but she has fucked up in a lot of ways that makes me uncomfortable
: and that's part of the reason why I want the additional counselor.
:   Where you can help is by giving me suggestions on how to tell her w/o hurting
: her feelings and w/o making it awkward should I choose to go on seeing her.

It's your right to seek alternate professional care if you choose to do so.
Don't let your counselor manipulate you into staying with her if you really
don't want to.  You don't *have* to offer any reasons or justifications for
changing counselors.
--
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
seeker, therefore, is concerned with one thing only: to become aware of what
he already is, of the True Self within."  -- Zen maxim
-- 
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
From: slccy@cc.usu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: greetings
Date: 17 Nov 92 18:01:55 MDT
Organization: Utah State University

ANON-name - Hide-and-Seek

Hello,

I am new to this newsgroup.  I haven't even known about news for very long.  I
am female and a little scared.  My name, Hide-and-Seek is due to the fact that
I'm still hiding from the fact that I was abused.  I am one of seven girls and
all have been abused.  I didn't talk about it for over nine years, and for the
most part, I blocked it out of my memory.  My father abused us all and scared
us into thinking that our Mom would die if we ever told her about it.  Does
this sound familiar to anyone??  Or am I alone again?

My mind has stored all memories, except a startling few, behind a large locked
door and two halves of my brain are struggling for the key. I don't know if I
want to remeber it all or just let it be.  I can't talk to anybody because it
is still a secret in our family.  My father was never prosecuted and the abuse
continued.  My mother refuses to see what happened to all of us.  I don't know
if I should hate them both or if my mother was just ignorant.

I can't see a professional because I am only 18 and don't have any money and my
parents won't pay for it.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  Can anyone relate
to this??

		Hide-and-Seek
From: anon-1390@twwells.com (Screaming Fist)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Cult Abuse
Date: 24 Nov 92 00:27:05 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes


Since a thread from Oct 1 was retrieved, and since it dealt with cult abuse,
I'd like to make a comment.

Just as there are several kinds of child abuse, there are several kinds of
cult abuse.  There is spiritual (or religious) abuse, emotional abuse,
sexual abuse, and physical abuse (battery).  Sexual abuse can entail one or
both of physical and emotional abuse.

It is likewise with cults.  A group being cultish is _per se_ not necessarily
damaging.  There are harmless cults, such as fan clubs, which exhibit the
major trait of cults, yet do not destroy people's lives.  And there are
destructive cults -- groups that deeply affect *every* area of its members
lives.

"Cult abuse" is *not* synonymous with having been damaged by a Satanic cult.
Satanic cults are only one kind of cult.  (By the way, I have a friend who
survived a Satanic cult, and all 17 of him are doing nicely. *smile*)  Myself,
I was in a fundamentalist Christian cult and I must say that it was less
damaging than other cults I've seen (there is only one personality in this
body.  Boring, eh?).

If you want to know more about cults and "brain washing" I'd recommend
_Thought Reform And The Psychology Of Totalism_ by Robert Jay Lifton.
It is considered in deprogramming circles to be one of the definitive texts
on the subject. (Published by W.W Norton & Co.)  It is *not* a self-help book,
but a study and codification of the techniques used by the Chinese Communists
during the Cultural Revolution of 1966 and before.

Oh, a disclaimer:  My remarks about my friend having alters and my not having
them was a light-hearted remark!  My cult was less damaging to me than his
cult was to him -- I didn't mean to Rate-A-Pain, okay?  I didn't have to 
witness sacrifices and cannibalism, etc. like he did so I tend to thoughtlessly
assume that his pain must have been greater than mine.

*optional safehugs* to all!
   *********************************************************************
   * Any attempt to impose your will on another is an act of violence. *
   *  -Mahatma Gandhi                                                  *
   ********************************************************************* 
   David L Nelson:  fist@chop.isca.uiowa.edu



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From: anon-admin@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: watch out for forgeries
Date: 24 Nov 92 00:18:55 GMT
Organization: None, Mt. Laurel, NJ

Friday evening and today, attempts were made to forge postings
through the anonymous posting service at twwells.com. They were
caught and I am taking measures to deal with the problem. In the
mean time, if you see any suspicious messages, whether they come
though my posting service or not, you may wish to consider that
they may not be from whom they appear to be.

Thank you for your attention.

---
Bill                            { rutgers | decwrl | telesci }!twwells!bill
bill@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: sfjr@wam.umd.edu (SHerri)
Subject: Re: spoiler warning -- dreams & memories & stuff
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 00:22:19 GMT

In article <By1B88.6Lq@twwells.com> anon-1372@twwells.com (Sierra) writes:
[dream from Angels & all (welcome to asar by the way!) and response to
it deleted]
>
>Also, what do people think about the idea that multiples are people that
>have had extra-special bad stuff happen to them?  Does that mean that
>people who are _not_ multiples did not have bad stuff happen to them? I
>don't know.  I've heard this idea before, and it bothers me at the same
>time that there seems to be some kind of truth in it.  I don't want
>to rate my abuse on a scale and say, Oh, it wasn't THAT bad, so you
>can't really be a multiple (or, Oh, it was that bad so your feelings about
>yourself are validated), but that's what at least part of me wants to
>do.
>
>I would appreciate hearing from people about this.
>
>--Sierra

Yes, I have often read that multiples tend to be survivors of really
severe abuse over a long period of time.  The long period of time
is generally more important though, because people tend to become
multiple in order to deal with a continuously unbearable situation,
particularly if that situation requires that they be distinctly
different people at different times.

Some people are really severely abused and never become multiple though.
Some people may not find it useful as a coping technique.  Also, some
multiples never uncover memories of abuse, and the cause of their
multiplicity remains unknown.  I read a multiples' account in
_MPD from the Inside Out_ (one of our favorite MPD books, btw).  She
believes that her multiplicity may not have come from abuse at all, but
she got lost in the woods for a long time as a child, and her imagination
was active enough to get her totally freaked out.  From all accounts
I've read, multiples who were not abused are very, very rare though.
Everyone's abuse was horrible and terrible, and what makes someone
multiple is very complex.  I tend to think that being multiple
makes it easier for us to heal now because when I am co-conscious with
alters it allows me to express things I wouldn't be able to do on
my own (though I'm learning to be able to do that).  I guess I think
that I became multiple because some instinct told me that alters
would help me deal with the abuse in the future as well as in the 
present, not because my abuse was worse than anyone else's.

Sherri
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Religion
From: emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp)
Date: 18 Nov 92 20:02:25 -0600

In article <1992Nov18.082500.18655@netcom.com>  writes:
>In article <1992Nov17.221109.2392@gacvx2.gac.edu> emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp) writes:
>>In article <1992Nov15.181338.14620@netcom.com>  writes:
>>>In article <Bxr3F9.2FK@twwells.com> anon-1280@twwells.com (Ode) writes:
>>>>anon-1229@twwells.com (Little boy) writes:
>>>>
>>>>>>M. Scott Peck, in _The Road Less Traveled_, reminds us to keep in mind the 
>>>religion as "what you believe in", as far as I can remember.  To his
>>>way of thinking, atheism and agnosticism are just [AS] religions.
>>                                                    ^^
>>Wow, quite a typo there!                            !!
>
>Huh?  I didn't type [AS] - what are you talking about?

Oops.

Nevermind.

(I read it as "religious.")
From: anon-1411@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: none
Date: 17 Nov 92 03:31:21 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

Hi!  I would like to check if i can reach this folder.  Sorry and
thanks!  8)



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From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Counselor stuff
Date: 19 Nov 92 18:00:37 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

You may have a point when you say that the secretary may open any mail that's
not marked 'personal'.  The subject of the letter, however, was
'Confidentiality'.  In our email system, there's an 'In Box' that shows all
your mail (that you haven't killed), the name of the sender, the date/time it
was sent, what appears in the 'subject' heading, and a few more things.  So
the secretary would have seen that my message was about confidentiality. 
(BTW-- her reply was called 'hello'-- nice and professional, wouldn't you
say? ;-)

Anyhow, the two things, I still think are wrong:
1) The amount of time it's taken for me to get a response from my counselor. 
Why couldn't a message have been sent to me saying it might take a few days
for me to get an email reply.
2) The fact that my counselor is dictating it to his secretary.  That is
DEFINITELY a breach of confidentiality.  Somebody mentioned 'what kind of
person is he who can't type?'  Good question.  That's just one more concern I
have about him-- need I post the list again?

Sorry if I keep repeating this stuff ad infinitum (and maybe ad nauseum,
too!), but I still think that what happened to me is unconscionable.  I plan
to file a formal complaint now, but I'd like to see what my counselor has to
say first.  Then again, at the rate he's going, I may never get to file a
complaint.  :-)

BTW-- At the College's counseling services, appointments can only be made
from 9 to 3 and last an hour.  I assume there's time from 4 to 5 when my
counselor could work on a reply-- true, he did say he has hopspital rounds to
make after his last appointment (I had a 3pm appointment once, so I know
that), but even so there's still weekends.

The Captain



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk (Clive Grace)
Subject: No subject 
Reply-To: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 17:05:00 +0000

A hello from Moomin
ANON-Mail: yes
ANON-Name: Moomin
ANON-Ping: yes
ANON-Announce: yes

This is a test to see if I get through. Hope to speak to you soon.

Moomin
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| "When I grow up, I want to give up being  |cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk|
| a Journalist and learn how to write..."   |cliveg@cix.compulink.uucp |
From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: To Brian
Date: 20 Nov 92 04:23:19 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

To be honest, I wouldn't know if some girl was interested in me unless she
told me so to my face (or maybe in writing).  I mean, nonverbal clues make
absolutely no sense to me.  I've never been able to understand just what the
hell they mean, and it always turns out that I interpret them incorrectly.

As an example, two friends of mine were having a conversation in a room once. 
The door was open, so I stood in the doorway and waited for a lull in the
conversation so I could get into the conversation too.  After a few minutes,
though, one of them turned to me and said, "Can't you tell were trying to
have a private conversation?"

NO!!  I couldn't tell.  I mean, the conversation didn't sound private (it's
not like they were talking about private things or other people), and if they
wanted a private conversation, why the hell was the door open?!  And I wasn't
even butting in with inappropriate remarks or anything like that.  I guess I
just missed some nonverbal clue that would be really obvious for a normal
person but makes absolutely no impression on me.  One more thing I'm doing
wrong when it comes to trying to pursue relationships-- no wonder why every
time I've tried I've failed miserably.

The Captain



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Religion
From: emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp)
Date: 19 Nov 92 23:34:13 -0600

In article <Bxy8I1.9rw@twwells.com>  writes:
>emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp) writes:
>
>>*Scientists* have a "religion."
>>*Atheists* have a "religion."
>>Bob Schmoe, who does nothing but drink, swear, and watch porno's, has a "religion."   
>>A religion, by MSP's definition, applies to everyone. Think about it some more.
>>And if you still want to scream about it, read the damn book.
>
>>>...
>>>Personally, I like Joseph Campbell's idea that (paraphrased) we all need
>>>to follow our own bliss. Whatever makes us happy, whatever keeps us out
>>>of trouble, pleasantly occupied and somewhat sane (to our own selves
>>>anyway, if not to other people) is a "bliss." Joseph Campbell's own
>>>bliss was myths and legends (among other things.) My ex-grandmother-in-
>>>law's bliss was collecting anything with a rooster on it. My own bliss is
>>>discovering and collecting good music by female artists. 
>>>...
>
>>Your "bliss" is part of what makes up your "religion."
>
>Excuse me, I haven't read the book you were talking about, and I didn't
>follow this thread as closely as I should have (because I have no interest
>in religion) but I would just like to say that I do *not* have a "religion."
>
>OK? "Religion" as a word or deed or creed has no place in my sphere of
>being. OK? *You* (or this author Peck, or wherever this is coming from)
>are the one who is foisting the word onto me. Stop it. It's not your
>(or Peck's, or the pope's, or Pat Buchanan's, or Pat Robertson's) place
>to tell anyone else what is or isn't their "religion." It's pretentious,
>narrow-minded, silly, and, excuse me, ignorant.

You think I sell bibles or something? Please calm down, I'm agnostic.

>I have a bliss. I have hobbies and interests. I do not have a "religion."  

Fine. Better?

>Even though one of the definitions of "religion" is "system of belief"
>how does that parallel a bliss such as the ones I talked about? Even
>if you answer that, the word religion itself is too closely associated
>with a belief in a higher being (such as god) for me to want to be
>associated with it in any way.

It wasn't meant as a meaning to be inserted into Websters.. It was meant
to show that everyone believes in something. It was meant to show that
"belief" and "faith" (everything that makes up the real word "religion")
are important considerations whether or not you are talking about higher
beings and such..

I used the reference in the hopes of sparking interest in the book. It is
not an advertisement for a "religion." I would say that it is on psychology.
Not the drab textbook stuff.. but the real, first-person, live, interesting
kind of stuff. (Someone else here has read it.. How would you review it?)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: To Kate (and the little one)
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 04:50:26 GMT

Silver Tiger (anon-1357@twwells.com) wrote:

: Some other violations that I have had:
: * Some cleaning personnel here have knocked, then come right in (with
: their skeleton key)...once I was asleep, and had just gotten up when
: I heard my door open.  The man came right in, and I just managed to 
: shut my bedroom door in time.  I shouted, "Just a minute."  The man
: came to my bedroom door AS I WAS GETTING DRESSED, and began to open
: it.  I fairly roared, "STAY OUT!  I WILL BE THERE IN A SEC!	"
: It worked, but I was much enraged.  Luckily, I pulled the tiger
: back into control, but it was a close thing to me opening the door
: and attacking this man who was entering my space uninvited.

My ex-SO had this done to her.  She came very close to shooting a maintenance
man that knocked then immediately used his key to get into her apartment.  I
saw the whole thing from *my* apartment, and was on my way down the stairs to
tell this guy that she was a day sleeper.  I met him coming out of her apartment
in a hurry.  I knocked on the door and called out.  She came around the corner
of her bedroom with a .38 in her hands.

We *both* had a little chat with the apartment manager about this little
incident, especially since it clearly says in the lease that management *must*
give 24 hours *written* notice before entering an apartment.  The notices were
distributed barely an hour before this incident.
--
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
seeker, therefore, is concerned with one thing only: to become aware of what
he already is, of the True Self within."  -- Zen maxim
-- 
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
From: N2SX <N2SX@UNB.CA>
Subject: RE: CONFIDENTIALITY
Organization: The University of New Brunswick
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 05:41:02 GMT

In article <By12oF.53G@twwells.com> anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain) writes:
>I got the following from my counselor today.
>
>"I  am  now at a confidential computer and
>now clued-in as to what you consider a confidential relationship .   In
>accordance with your response to my memo yesterday idid not give [my
>secretary] the dictation.  We are now left with the dilemma as to how we are
>to  communicate.   Why don't you come in for an  ADMINISTRATIVE appointment,
>not a counseling one and I will discuss with you what  I  was going to
>dictate and have typed and sent.  This will allow me to explain to you what
>happened and negotiate what would be helpful to you for me to put in writing.
>"This memo has taken me a  half  hour to type, so let's try and do this face
>to face."
>
>I still don't want to see him face to face, because I still have trouble
>being assertive in situations like this.  I also get the feeling my counselor
>is trying to make me feel guilty.  I think at this point I'm going to ask him
>to send me whatever he had planned to dictate longhand.  Now if I can just
>find a way to get out of an administrative meeting....
>
>The Captain
>
Can you take a friend?
From: anon-1218@twwells.com (Anika)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Update on My World
Date: 20 Nov 92 22:04:01 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes


19-Nov-92 23:40	emiddlec@mora.gac.edu (Eric Middlecamp)	Re: Update on My World

>In article <BxxLvB.58L@twwells.com>  writes:
>>Hi, everyone.
>>
>>This is an update on my world, if you care to read it. I've been posting a lot
>>...
>
>When did this start happening? There may be a connection if it is timed with 
>your therapy or something.. Just an idea-
>
>emiddlec@ancho.gac.edu

The first memories started returning in the aftermath of remembering about my
mother. The symptoms had been there for a long time. That was the point at
which I started to recognize them. My only thought was that I had tried so
hard to protect my mother and disocciate her from the horrors of the past that
when I finally gave up and the memories returned, all the rest felt it could
come, too.

That's *my* interpretation. Why did you ask? Any ideas?

					Anika



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