HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: *Virtual* Reality
Keywords: Losers
Date: 28 Sep 92 21:01:44 GMT
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu
Organization: Up the,

In article <Bv9DKq.DK2@nic.umass.edu>, jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
|> 
|> Plato was a Greek philosopher.  He studied under Socrates, who questioned the
|> existence of the Gods and was therefore condemned to death by hemlock.  Plato's
|> dialogs are based on Socrates' teachings and are the basis for much of Western
|> thought.  Just in case you never heard of Plato.....
|> 

Socrates was not encouraged to snuff it for bad mouthing the Olympic
set.  It had a great deal to do with corrupting the minds (and other
anatomical regions) of the Greek youth of the day.  Sophists don't get
mad they get even.

I heard that my dog had fleas.  I said that I'd buy some flea
powder.  The man said that wouldn't work.  I said the powder kills
fleas, that's why they call it that.  He said just because you call
it flea powder doesn't mean it kills fleas.  I said if it didn't
kill fleas I wouldn't call it flea powder.  He said that if I didn't
call it flea powder, I wouldn't put it on my dog and we'd never find
out if it killed fleas.

So, we argued for four days over what we should call the powder I put
on my dog and bored everyone who was listening.

-- 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Tim's to do list ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
1. Get old, die.
2. I must not think bad thoughts.
3. Get mine before this fetid rotting contaminated carcass we 
   call Earth collapses about our collective head.
4. Read a good book.
5. Eliminate homicidal clones of self.
6. Consult hyperintelligent aliens about personal life.
7. Make itemized account of all precious bodily fluids.
8. Play basketball.
9. Sell Michael Eisner plan to turn Buddha into animated 
   Saturday morning crimefighter.
10.Collect ozone in tiny little bottles, sell as souvenirs in 20
   years, get rich.
11.Point out connection among Maastricht passage, freak storm,
   and biblical prophecy for food.
12.Redeem cereal box top for Hubbel space binoculars.

---------Tim Mefford      tim@physics.orst.edu-----------------
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca (Mark Nesdoly)
Subject: Re: Commercials-on-the-brain
Keywords: plop plop fizz fizz
Organization: University of Saskatchewan
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 18:41:01 GMT

esp51@cas.org () writes:


>During a previous discussion of shooting small furry
>woodland creatures with high powered rifles, I was wondering:
>what actually happens to a rabbit if shot with a 30.06 say from
>within 50 yards?  Is the Wabbit Waporized?  Also: what about larger
>animals- say a cow or deer?  What would be the affect of a
>head shot from 25 yards with a hollow point from a 30.06?  Also
>again: is there a rifle with a higher velocity (not bullet mass)
>than a 30.06?

>Scott

Personally, I've shot a rabbit with my .270 while deer hunting.  The rabbit
was about 10 feet away, and the only thing I could recognize was its hind 
legs.  I was using 150 grain winchester silvertips.  

My brother owns a 30.06, and he said that the smallest thing he ever shot was
a magpie.  It was about 5 a.m. in the middle of the summer (so the sun was  
already up), when he awoke to the shrill cries of a flock of magpies in the
yard.  Feeling somewhat pissed off, he got out of bed, and loaded his 
rifle.  He stuck it out the front door, pointed it at a magpie seated on 
a fencepost, and, seeing nothing but feathers in the scope, pulled the trigger.
He said the only thing to come down was feathers.

You can buy special bullets called X-celerators (I think Winchester makes them)
that have a very small bullet (70-90 grains, I think) that are surrounded by
a plastic sheath that flies off when fired.  Forgive me if I'm wrong, but the
average muzzle velocity of a normal 30.06 bullet is somewhere in the range 
0f 2700-2800 feet per second.  These X-celerators have a muzzle velocity of
(I think) 3600-3700 feet per second.

Peeve:  Not be able to go hunting (because of classes) for the last 3 years.

-- Mark
  
 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 13:49:58 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <1992Sep25.165650.5604@twg.com> nolan@twg.com writes:

>Hold on thar, partner! I jes rode inta town on mah mule an saw this pretty
>little lady aleanin' agin a lamppost with an invitin' look on her face. What's
>an old coot supposed ta do at a time like that? I did hold up when ah saw that
>she'd retired. By the way, could ya spare a dime for an old miner?

How about a whole roll of dimes.

At 350 feet per second.

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: gkushmer@lynx.coe.northeastern.edu (greg kushmerek)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: While driving to work...
Date: 1 Oct 92 12:53:19 GMT
Organization: College of Engineering, Northeastern University
In-reply-to: ChazL@county.lmt.mn.org's message of 30 Sep 92 17:59:44 GMT

Politeness can go a bit too far sometimes.

There's a Rotary from Hell right near where I live that I have to use every
morning to get to work.  In this state, the people entering the rotary must
yield to rotary traffic and there are forests of signs telling this very
fact to commuters.

Nevertheless, I have witnessed on many occasions people on the rotary 
who see the traffic coming on, and they SLOW DOWN and usually end up stopping
so that about a mile of traffic can get through.  This has the wonderful
effect of creating a fantastic bottleneck on all other roads connecting to
the rotary.  If he car's driver was hoping to get mentioned on the 
local traffic update, he/she is on the right track.

Peeve: Morning idiots who can't follow the traffic laws and manage to take 
       several years off my life thanks to the stress.

--gk

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Subject: Re: *Virtual* Reality
Originator: yarvin@cathy.CS.Yale.Edu
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 20:07:20 GMT

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>Incidentally, Newton considered himself a philosopher as well as a scientist.

That he would call himself a philosopher is quite understandable, seeing as
he was butting in on what had been their territory.  However it would be
quite misleading to call him a philosopher using the word as it is known
today.

>He studied philosophy before he ever got interested in math, reading all
>of Platos dialogs before the age of 11.

So let's see.  He knew some philosophy.  He knew some math.  When he
developed his theories of physics, which one did he use?  The math of course!

>As I said, Newton developed the calculus in response to Leibniz' attacks
>on Newton's world view.

You do realize, I hope, that what you have just said could be used as a
description of just about any conversation?  And that therefore it says
almost nothing?

Banta was right.

>>> We all have personal philosophies - even you, Norman.

I will admit to no such mental coherence.


--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
 "Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
	-- Werner von Braun
From: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: aaaaaaaaaaahhhH
Keywords: Dessert
Date: 28 Sep 92 14:09:54 GMT
Reply-To: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Organization: Penicuik People's Revolutionary Sheepdog Liberation Front

In article <26313@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
>
> As an extra peeve, the Channel 4 morning news show has been replaced by an
> unutterably bad show called "Big Breakfast",

Worse than "The Channel 4 Daily"? Jeez, it *must* be bad...

> with the revolting Bob Geldoff and his nasty wife, along with some git
> with a silly haircut.

Ah, well that explains a lot. I think I'll stick with the rather more staid
but also considerably less annoying BBC Breakfast News.

> On top of that, I turned over to watch BBC in order to see the new
> newsreader whose name nobody seems to know, who is NotStunningly
> AttractiveButIsQuiteSexyInACuteSortOfWay, but she wasn't on.

Tania (Tanya, whatever) something, isn't it?

--
		Not Al Crawford - Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk
      "Brothers, sisters, we don't need this fascist sheepdog thang"
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: on men
Date: 5 Oct 92 04:40:25 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:


>SexPeeve:  Guys who ask "Did you Come?"  If they can't tell from all that
>screaming and clawing they must be really lost.  I always say "No, I didn't.
>It's funny, 'cuase I usually do.... Oh well"

And I know what it says above your bed: 
	"No Deposit, No Return"
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jen187@mis.csiro.au (Graham Jenkins +61 6 276 6812)
Subject: Re: Human sheep
Organization: CSIRO ITS
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 92 03:13:31 GMT

In article <26415@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:

>should be government regulation of the number of pages in books, in order
>to prevent this kind of tragic accident. Horseshit, I say, horseshit.
>

I read this story somewhere, can't remember where.

Apparently some cretin in good old America decided the guttering
on his house needed mending, so he got his brand new ladder
and propped it up against the side of his house on top of - get
this - a pile of frozen horse shit. (No, the article didn't say
why he had a pile of frozen horse shit beside his house). Anyway,
while he was up the ladder banging away at his guttering, or whatever,
the frozen horse shit starts to melt. The ladder becomes unstable,
topples over, he falls to the ground and breaks some bits. He sued
the manufacturers of the ladder because they should have put a
warning sign on it telling him not to put it on things like
frozen horse shit. HE WON THE CASE!!!

Let the cretins kill themselves I say. At least they won't breed more.
Evolution in action!



-- 

|  Graham Jenkins          |  graham.jenkins@its.csiro.au           | 
|  CSIRO                   |  (Commonwealth Scientific & Industrial | 
|  Canberra,  AUSTRALIA    |  Research Organisation)                |
From: reykja@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Reykja Sigurdsson)
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 04:11:07 GMT
Subject: Re: Just Wondering...
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: alt.peeves

> 
> This has bothered me for a long time, because I cannot figure it out.
> Any explanation will be greatly appreciated, especially from a woman.
> 
>           The Question: Why do women wear shoulder pads? 


         I've yet to figure that one out myself! I hate the bloody 
things! I think it may have been this sort-of sick nostalgia thing 
where all the designers started imitating the styles of the '40s. 


-reykjavik


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
                              "The phone still ain't ringin' so it must
                                               be you...."
                                                                  
                                                   (Randy Travis)



Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: McOlsen's Lutefisk Burgers -- one served.
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 22:20:32 GMT

esp51@cas.org (Liberal Reformed Bunny-Hugger)  writes:
>z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Agri-Barbarian) writes:
>>esp51@cas.org (Granola-munching Bunny Hugger) writes:

>That's quite an assumption there Dan.  Bunny Hugger?  When I was a
>kid, I shot more quail and rabbits with my 12 guage pump Mosberg that
>you've had hot meals.

	Yeah, right.  While I admit to partaking of many cold meals,
I've killed more pheasant with the combine than you've killed in the
past year with any weapon, not to mention the vast number of hot
meals I've enjoyed to some degree.  Face it, you lost your testicular
mass and are just trying to impress me.  It won't work.  Tofu-eating
liberals bragging up the beauty of the flatlands covered with wheat and
waxing nostalgic about the killing sprees in their misspent youth
can do little that would impress me.  You're somewhat like a Mark
Spitz as an Olympic swim coach.  Sure he was good in his time, but
one can only milk nostalgia and a reputation so long before the
terrible truth comes out -- you're washed up.

>I think you've read too many Louis L'Amour novels Dan.

	Who?  Is his writing any good? 

>You ought to move here to Columbus.  At a local park within the city
>limits, the deer population has gotten out of hand.  So they have
>erected shooting platforms with search lights for nighttime deer
>shooting.  All the shooters are Park Rangers, but mabey they'd
>make an exception.  I personally think it's a waste of gunpowder.

	I suppose bows would be quite suitable in a place like this.
I'd still rather use my .50, though, as a bow just lacks the awe-
inspiring *Ka-WHOOOOOMMM!* of a properly-loaded .50, and besides
arrows don't give that traumatic spray of flesh upon entry.

>To hell with deer, they ought to be shooting cows and other stupid
>worthless beasts, like conservative Republicans.

	Or rabid liberal vegetarians.  Hey, I got no problems with
that.  Is laying a copy of The Village Voice on the ground considered
baiting when hunting the Granola-Munching Liberal?  I hear "No Nukes!"
and "Socialized Medicine!" are the best calls to lure them within range.

	Liberals.  They can't get their piece of the pie so they want
a part of mine taken away.  Makes about as much sense as the phrase
"Taxing into prosperity."

	Peeve: taxes.

	Bonus Peeve: I applied for a permit to carry concealed today, just
to see what would happen.  I was told that, unless I was in fear for my
life and required to carry concealed, the conservative republican sheriff
would not issue a permit.  Fuck him -- he's up for election again, and I
don't vote on party lines.

--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: kjc7435@ultb.isc.rit.edu (K.J. Cater)
Subject: Cold peeves at college
Originator: kjc7435@ultb
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 19:04:05 GMT

A few peeves I've got to get off my back...

1. Your whole dormfloor comes down with the flu and 
you're the only one who hasn't got it yet.

2. Waiting all night for the loud music next door to be
turned down, it is, your breathe a sigh of relief,
and then the COUGHING starts.

3. Catching the same cold just because you use the same
bathroom/facilities.

4. Feeling awful that you keep your neighbors up with your 
coughing.

5. People who spit their phlegm into the sink and who forget 
to run the sink afterwards to get rid of it.

6. people who deliberately smoke in front of you when you're sick
(forcing you to cough).

7. running out of tissues on a date

8. studying for midterms while sick.

antipeeve---giving the cold to your teacher from hand contact with
your termpaper!!!
From: Earth@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Spokesman for Earth Election Looms
Date: 28 Sep 92 12:43:52 GMT
Reply-To: Earth@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Organization: The Exploding Hot Drink

In article <gp!pq1.rickg@netcom.com> Rick Gordon writes:
> 
> Voting begins at 00:00 GMT Monday, 28 September, and ends 00:00 Wednesday,
> 30 September, 1992.

I should like to remind all the peevers that the voting period has indeed
started. Until now, I have seen a single vote from Peevetown, even if
sent in three copies (you know who you are).

> To vote for one candidate, send Email to Earth@ed.ac.uk, with the line
> 
> 	Vote: <Candidate Name>

Reply to this article and you are on your way. You still have more than
one day left, but do vote now.

--
The ObT
"The best minute of the day is the minute I start working
 -- because it is also the last minute of my working day"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Professor Know-it-all)
Subject: Philosophy of Physics (was *Virtual* Reality)
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Whasamatta U
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 16:39:53 GMT


In article <1992Sep27.212224.7776@cs.yale.edu>, yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin) writes:
|>
|>Newton was _not_ a philosopher.  He was a physicist.  Of the rest of your
|>list of people I know little.

Bah! Go back to school and study a bit, sonny! Newton and his ilk were NATURAL
PHILOSOPHERS - there weren't no physicists then. Those cats invented physics.
'Sides, Newton was quite a mystic, from what I can deduce, and damned near an
alchemist. He, Leibnitz, Gauss, Hooke, those cats, laid the foundations for
modern maths amd physics.

Check Newton's metaphysical writings from his later life. Mattrafact,
gettalife of yer own.

--
Nolan "Check back when you've done your homework" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"Texas is like an old woman's pussy.  Everyone knows its down there but
nobody gives a fuck."  - Overheard on CB radio, compliments of 
	bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"
From: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Monsieur Not Al, Cordon Bleu Masterchef)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: 6 Oct 92 09:19:26 GMT
Reply-To: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Monsieur Not Al, Cordon Bleu Masterchef)
Organization: Penicuik People's Revolutionary Sheepdog Cookery Class

In article <1992Oct06.005208.22550@CS.ORST.EDU> tim@physics.orst.edu writes:
>
> The group has been somewhat boring lately anyway, someone should post
> some recipes that actually work.  

Speak, and it shall be done...

Cheese On Toast
---------------

Ingredients:

Cheese
Bread

To Prepare:

Take the bread and toast it. Put cheese on top. Grill until cheese melts.

Recommended Serving Suggestion:

On a plate.

There, nice and simple, guaranteed not to go wrong unless you're really,
*really* stupid. Serves...well, depends how much you make, I guess.

Peeve: as probably the world's worst cook, recipes like the above should be
a godsend. However, the fact of the matter is that I don't *like* cheese on
toast.

--
		Not Al Crawford - Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk
      "Brothers, sisters, we don't need this fascist sheepdog thang"
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Keywords: Losers
Date: 27 Sep 92 14:48:35 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <1992Sep25.220351.5253@CS.ORST.EDU> tim@physics.orst.edu writes:
>So, someone help me.  Scotland, San Francisco, New Mexico.
>What is it about these three places?  Different latitudes,
>different amusing costumes and funny accents.  Nuclear testing
>in NM, 1st bomb shipped out of SF, Nuke Sub base in Scotland?
>That's stretching it a bit.  Alien peeve rays?  Suggestions?

OK, that's it.  I'm sending *THEM* to get you - maybe that'll
straighten you out.

Amusing costume and funny accent indeed!

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home
Will hack unix for food 		(.sig stolen from dt - sorry, dt)
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Boos Peeve
Date: 26 Sep 1992 07:00:58 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

In article (Peter Alan Dutton)  writes:
>>Nothing.  But I let my friends fight their own battles.  You weren't
>>acting as "friend," you were attempting to act as saviour.
>
>Thanks for telling me what I was thinking. Too bad it's wrong.
 
Omniscensce aside, it was only what I perceived.  What I perceived
can't be deemed wrong by you, bright boy. 
 
>I would have done it if it were a guy. Gender was completely irrelevant
>until you made it an issue.
 
You have nothing to fear here.  Bisexuality is welcome. 

>Hey - *I* didn't pick this fight. I don't need to prove my self-worth
>by playing the playground bully on some stupid newsgroup.

There there, Petey.  Here's a hanky.  Blow your nose, wipe off those
tear-stains, and we can get back to class, ok?

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Cardboard, cardboard, everywhere!
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 92 23:11:26 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

bdr@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (brian.d.reed) writes: 
| 
| >Not only do we have to contend with the cardboard inserts and the
| >126 subscription cards that fall into our laps when we open a mag,
| 
| But they're postage-paid!  Just collect them up and drop 'em in the box.
| Maybe if enough of us do it, and they get deluged with having to pay
| to get those **** things back, MAYBE they'll wise up!

Nah, I used to this.  I had this theory that if I took every piece of junk
mail that I ever got, stuffed *everything* including the original 
envelope into the postage-paid return envelope, and then mailed it back
in, they would quit sending it to me.  I used to put rocks, sand, slugs,
whatever I could find into the envelope just so they'd have to pay max
postage.

It eventually dawned on me that if everybody did this, we'd continue to 
get junk mail, we'd just quit getting postage-paid return envelopes.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dr. Pavlov's distinguished career came to an      |
|abrupt end one day when the doorbell rang and the |
|dog ate the Avon lady.                            |
+--------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: Story: choose the proper weapon for the job
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: McOlsen's Lutefisk Burgers -- one served.
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 18:02:17 GMT

In article <1992Oct6.162741.24335@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:

>Reprint from the Peevestown dispatch, Oct. 6, l992:

	{funniest damn article I've seen in months deleted for brevity}

>   With all the Testosterone crazed major lunatics departed, the bunny
>hugging, granola munchers seize control of Peevetown, immediately declaring
>a holiday in honor of Ralf Nader, and commence a tofu lubricated drug and
>sex orgy punctuated with M.L.King's speech screaching over loud speakers.

	<klaxon sound>  Geoff!  Russ!  We've been flanked!  Enemy to the
rear!  Repeat, enemy to the rear!  You go for the loud speakers, I'll
take out the catering truck.

	I wonder, how well would an orgy video sell when the film was
taken from a gun camera?




--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>