HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (All of our represanatives are still busy; please continue to hold)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: I've always been a .... (BDI)
Date: 7 Nov 92 16:13:14 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:


>but out here
>in Northampton, we actually got pieces of paper with all the candidates'
>names written on them, and then we went into these little booths where
>they had writing implements tied to the desks 
>  You mark X's in the boxes next to the candidates of your choice.

>The really creepy thing was that the writing implements were all pencils.

>I marked my ballot as dark as I could, but I was still nervous that some
>Right-Winger would sneak up & erase my vote & try to stick Pat Larkin into
>the Senate.

How do you think Dukakis took Mass. in '88?

How do you think he ended up with 41 million votes?

Charisma?
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: President (teehee) Clinton
Date: Thu, 05 Nov 92 16:42:35 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <1992Nov4.180947.23496@odin.corp.sgi.com> zursch@whizkid.wpd.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide) writes:
>
>In article <92Nov04.153415.21346@acs.ucalgary.ca>, Charles Parr writes:
>>Peeve: Canada is just a wee bit to close, geographically and
>>      economically, for comfort.
>
>Absolutely. Bill Clinton is going to be looking for a good, cheap, clean
>war to prove his mettle to the people. 

Actually, given the economic state of your country, I don't think
your tongue is quite as far in your cheek as you might think.
A nice long conventional war will do wonders for your economy.

I scarcely think Canada would make a useful enemy, though, 
your military would cut through us like Sterno through a
wino. I can see it now, you'd have quotas for daily defeat
just to make it last...

>I think your frostbitten asses are due for a good whacking. 

Oooohhhh goody! Frankly there are worse things that could happen
to this shithole of a country than being conquered by the USA.
Look what it did for Japan.

>And besides, anyone from a country with Brian Mulroney would have to have
>a peanut jammed *way* down his urethra to go talking shit about Bill Clinton. 

Member of the tasteless mailing list, by chance?

>Peeve: self-righteous pea-soupers. 

I live in *Alberta*. The place is a fucking desert. Fog is not
exactly common out here...

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Subject: Re: Driving with Parking Lights!
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Organization: International FurHarvester: Combine a Commie for Christ
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 19:02:29 GMT

antipope@rachel.ibmpcug.co.uk (charless@scol.sco.com) writes:
>
>Now about the implication that I'm a habitual criminal. Would you
>care to withdraw it, or are you willing to provide me with
>the satisfaction of a duel? It's your choice of weapon; I would
>suggest used BMW's at half a mile ...

	This reminds me: Iowa had two Constitutional Referendums on
the ballot this year.  The ERA option, which re-worded the first
amendment for no apparent purpose, lost.  The second was to strike a
Constitutional law that forbids anybody convicted of dueling from
running for any governmental position.  Nobody is telling me if it
passed or failed.  Since it only affects the Iowa Constitution, it
doesn't matter at all, but I'm rather curious.

	The ultimate duel, of course, involves banjo's at 110db.


--
< Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu viking@iastate.edu >
<  ISU only censors what I read, not what I say.  Don't blame them.  >
<  "This isn't an answer, it's a pagan dance around a midnight fire  >
<   written in intellectual runes." -- Rich Young                    >
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Mobility impaired (was street address numbers)
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Free Exercise Foundation
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 18:18:24 GMT


In article <adwright.721066904@vincent1.iastate.edu>, adwright@iastate.edu
        writes:

        Peeve: Trying to find a place for the first time when
        only one out of every ten buildings have the address
        numbers displayed so they can be  seen while driving by.

So park the chariot, get out, and try the sidewalk for a change. Even
paraplegics can do this.

Peeve: people with cars grafted to their gluteii and the mobility areas of the
brain thereby atrophied.

--
Nolan "Man enough to do woman's work" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Anything that disorients you is good for you"  Tiny Doctor Tim
"Illiterati non Carborundum(tm)" Mise me fein
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"You can't combat illiteracy with soap" Jenny Gutbezahl, alt.peeves
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night)
Date: 9 Nov 92 17:13:48 GMT
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <BxF58x.4FB@nic.umass.edu>, jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
> In article <1992Nov8.165732.8705@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
> 
>>2) I LOVE shampoo (you know what I mean)
>>
> 
> I'm not quite sure, could you please elaborate?  What exactly is it about
> shampoo that you love?


Its smell.
Its touch (but not in my eyes)
Its look (well, how it makes my hair look).

>>Well, Occasionally I go out and drink,
> 
> Oh,  that's kinda sick, Mikey, but (as the french say) chaque a son gout.
> Ask Steve to translate.

I would, but it would require my actually talking to him.


Anyway, I prefer fait a tu chois.

> 
>>
>>I challange you, Jenny, to a tie-a-knot-in-a-cherry-stem-with-my-tongue
>>contest next time we meet. Tell you what, let's raise the stakes. The winner 
>>sleeps with the loser.
>>
> 
> 
> AAAAAAEEEEEAAAAEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Boy, I'm even better than I thought, driving Jenny into an orgasm like that
with a mere post!

> 
> Currently in hiding,

Oh come now, Jenny. You can't be THAT unattractive. Thy nips are the stuff of
legends after all...


Mike
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith)
Subject: Re: President (teehee) Clinton
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 22:08:49 GMT

In article <1992Nov5.095448.8638@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>In article <1992Nov4.180947.23496@odin.corp.sgi.com>, zursch@whizkid.wpd.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide) writes:
>> 
>> In article <92Nov04.153415.21346@acs.ucalgary.ca>, Charles Parr writes:
>>>Peeve: Canada is just a wee bit to close, geographically and
>>>      economically, for comfort.
>> 
>> Absolutely. Bill Clinton is going to be looking for a good, cheap, clean
>> war to prove his mettle to the people. 
>> 
>> I think your frostbitten asses are due for a good whacking. 
>
>Just like in 1812, I guess...

	Yeah.  We won - you lost.  End of case.  ;)

>>And besides, anyone from a country with Brian Mulroney would have to have
>>a peanut jammed *way* down his urethra to go talking shit about Bill Clinton. 
>
>BUT...
>Moroney has to call an election in under 8 months now.

	Well... the election must be called before November 1993.

>Muahahahahahahaha! I don't know about the other Canucks in the crowd, but *I*
>can't wait to vote...

	Neither can I.  But what's the alternative?  Chairperson Audrey?  We
*all* know how well Ontario's working out (can you say "$9 billion addition
to the deficit in *1* year"?).  Chretien?  He's been notably absent.  Nah,
we need someone different.

	Is Perot busy for the next little while?  ;)

>Peeve: so far, there's nobody worth voting for on the national scene. Cretien
>and Audrey are non entities. I wonder why that is...

	See above.

>!Peeve: This close to an election, the Conservatives are bound to do what they
>always do: spend lots of money in order to regain power in the fall. Hmm... 
>this is bound to mean lots of governemnt jobs this summer.

	Hey - I don't care who signs my paycheques.  As long as I get 'em.  But
then again, I *am* a law student.  ;)

>!!Peeve: NOTHING will save them this time!

	You show too much faith in the Canadian public.  They say that we get
the government that we deserve.  Have we been *that* bad?

>!Peeve: With Clinton/Gore in the White House, maybe NAFTA will go dowm 
>the tubes.

	Safe bet, I think.

	Sean

-- 
Sean Smith - Dalhousie University               Bill and Opus in '92 in the US!
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada                    Don Cherry for Prime Minister in
01SSMITH@AC.DAL.CA or smith@ug.cs.dal.ca	'93 in Canada!
Disclaimer:  These ideas are mine...ALL MINE!!  'Cause noone else'd want 'em.
From: library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: President (teehee) Clinton
Date: 5 Nov 92 10:02:46 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK
Originator: library@merlin.comlab

In article <92Nov04.153415.21346@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:


>Antipeeve: I get to watch the "evil empire" decay and crumble.
>Peeve: Canada is just a wee bit to close, geographically and
>       economically, for comfort.
>
>Regards, Charles

Didn't I hear on the BBC last week that Canada, in fact, no longer exists?
From: pky@fmg.bt.co.uk (Pete Young)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: 2 wheels good, 2 rails bad (Was: Re: Monty Bleedin' Python)
Date: 5 Nov 92 16:51:21 GMT
Organization: British Telecom
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Rick Jansen (SSCPRICK@HASARA11.BITNET) wrote:

: Luxury!

Yeah, very funny.

For an encore, how about telling us what `SSC' stands for?

Peeve: If the aforementioned `mealy mouthed twerp Palin' had really
wanted to experience hardship on his travels, he could have done a
lot worse than to start by travelling from Ipswich to London on a
train. I've just done the journey twice. Both times the train arrived
late, causing severe embarrassment as I rolled up late. On Monday, it was
90 minutes late, on a 62 minute journey! Total travelling time, 4 hours.

Peeve: That no-one ever says things like:

"This is the senior guard speaking. We regret that the train has been
delayed due to the miserable failure of successive generations of
incompetant governments in monumentally cocking up the railways by
not giving a monkeys toss about anything except sucking the metaphorical
dicks of the road transport lobby. And besides which we couldn't really 
give a toss about all you turnip-heads, if you want to live in the
back of beyond that's your problem."

!Peeve: On Wednesday , after 2 days of this, I got fed up and took my trusty
motorcycle instead. Journey time: 2 hours. Who needs railways? Come to that,
who needs roads? (it's an off-road bike).

Peeve: Spending 2 hours on the minimalist padding of a trail bike, droning
along at 75 mph and being shaken to bits by the incessant hammering of
knobbly tyre on cracked concrete. No wonder Lester Piggott talks funny and
squints.

!Peeve: Following a despatch rider through central London. Or is this a
Peeve? Dunno. It's always nice to know that there's someone crazier
than you.

Peeve: Some smug bastard in a BMW trying his best to run me into a
traffic island.

!Peeve: Getting away from him by riding across said traffic island.

Fantasy: Popping a huge wheelie and riding across his car, like they
used to do on Kick Start. Put THAT in your trip computer, Pal!
-- 
  ____________________________________________________________________
  Pete Young        	  pky@fmg.bt.co.uk        Phone +44 473 227151
 "Cast your bread upon the waters and you will get back... soggy bread"
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Mikey's Jacket
Date: 9 Nov 1992 00:37:07 GMT
Organization: UC Berkeley CS Dept.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

>"No, my mother picked it out for me, and her taste is superb. It is a
>beautiful
>deep wine red, with a little teal and some black. The colours are simply
>splendid."

Yeah, the shit they are.  Look, Mikey, I realize you're a poor
Canuck fratboy and cannot be expected to have a spot of public
manner, let alone fashion sense, but if you're ever going to
become a proper peever you're going to have to learn a thing
or two about clothes.

There are two types of upper-body garments suited for extremely
cold weather:

(1) The "jacket."  This is made of garish nylon filled with
polyester or duck feathers.  It is worn exclusively by
two social classes: (a) children, and (b) snothead yuppies
who take ski vacations at Vail.

(2) The overcoat.  This is made of wool.  It is worn by decent
folk.

I trust I am making myself understood.

c

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Driving with Parking Lights!
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 92 01:57:06 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

Blair.Haworth@launchpad.unc.edu (Blair Haworth) writes: 
|  
| Yet Another bit of evidence that legislators are grievously underemployed
| and should be put to work filling potholes.  The North Carolina General
| Assembly recently decided that not everyone on the road was as clever as
| the typical state legislator and decreed that if it's raining - no matter
| how transiently or lightly - headlights have to come on.  Given that it
| seldom rains for more than twenty minutes at a go here, I can only assume
| that they were put up to it by the tow truck lobby, who saw a thriving
| market in State-assisted jumpstarts for people who switced on and forgot
| to switch off.

Gee, what part of North Carolina do *you* live in?  "Seldom rains for
more than 20 minutes at a go"?  I had no idea that the weather was so
different in Chapel Hill than Cary.  When I first moved up here 8 years
ago from Atlanta, I couldn't *believe* how often, how long, and how hard
it rains here (I'm sure that the southwestern peevers and any northwestern
peevers that may exist are scoffing at this statement for completely
opposite reasons).

Anyways, a law like this has been in effect in Georgia for years.  I don't
find it particularly peevesome, but that's just me.

| !Peeve: the notion of a law that can only be enforced by the enforcer's
| getting out of their car's in the rain.  Bets on citations issued? 

In Georgia, they only enforce it when there are accidents.  My fencing
instructor once ran a stop sign and plowed into someone.  He was obviously
at fault.  However, since it was raining and the person that he hit didn't
have her lights on, the case was thrown out of court.  Her own insurance
had to cover it.

| I see they've reinstalled this irritating ObFooter.  Guess it's OK; after
| all, people judge you by the company you keep...

[ObFooter deleted]

In honor of your location, I'll do something that I never thought I would
do and quote our illustrious senior senator.  This is probably the 
wittiest thing that he has ever said, and was uttered while the state
gummint was debating the possibilities of building a zoo.  Said zoo is
now in Asheboro, NC.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|If you want to build a zoo in North Carolina, why |
|not just put a fence around Chapel Hill?          |
|                            --Senator Jesse Helms |
+--------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Halfwits.
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 92 13:33:56 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <BxK5wq.K0r@cs.dal.ca>, smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:

[tome deleted]

|>Close - I'm a law student.  But up here, law students are required to
|>be more intelligent than, oh, 3/4 of the population of the US.  But I digress.

[and still more deleted]

|>You know, Curtis, for a representative of "Home of the free, Land of
|>Opportunity where everyone should be treated equal", you are simply a great
|> example as to why Americans are terrorist targets.  Hell, at least the Russians
|>had balls.  Yours seem to me MIA somewhere.

Um. "...treated equally", or "...treated as equals".

Just a minor nit from one of more intelligent 1/4 of the population.

Peeve: People who talk about how brainy they are and then show us.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|I don't know what to do. I'm always in the dark.  |
|I'm livin' in a powder keg and givin' off sparks. |
|                             --Bonnie Tyler       |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: I've always been a .... (BDI)
Date: 5 Nov 1992 02:32:29 -0500
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
NNTP-Posting-Host: cathy.na.cs.yale.edu

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>You know, I keep hearing about these machines, and I see the phrase "pull
>the lever" used quite often in connection with voting (but not nearly often
>enough in the context of capital punishment, alas), but I have yet to
>encounter a voting machine that actually *has* a lever, much less a shitload
>of them.

Come to Connecticut.  The machine I used had a single large lever with a
travel of about a foot.  Slid one way, it closed the curtains to the booth.
This enabled all the small levers on the front of the machine, one for each
candidate and each referendum issue.  After adjusting these, the large lever
was to be slid the other way to open the curtains and presumably punch some
card inside the machine recording all your choices.

Presumably the reason they have the chintzy stuff in California is that they
threw away the machines with levers as being obsolete, but had read
comp.risks too much and thus were afraid to adopt an electronic system.

--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
 "The world has begun to realize the dangers of universal suffrage."
        -- H. L. Mencken
From: durway@devnull.tandem.com (Lindsey Durway)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Oh I get it
Date: 11 Nov 92 21:23:10 GMT
Organization: Tandem Computers, Inc.

In article <1992Nov11.061037.20715@jarvis.csri.toronto.edu>, allisson@turing.toronto.edu (H. Allisson Roome) writes:
>In article <1992Nov11.092653.5320@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
>[crud deleted]
>There has to be a catch here, one of the few linear posts in the body
>of Drieux's work- what mort remains to be seen
                        ^^^^
You slay me.

ObPeeve:  run-on puns, ha ha
-- 
Lindsey Durway, a guy.  durway@mpd.tandem.com
I'm not deaf--I'm ignoring you.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mikey's Jacket
Date: 12 Nov 1992 16:26:06 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov12.095426.27997@email.tuwien.ac.at> alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky) writes:
>
>ian curtis yarvin.

Peeve: People who think they can come up with interesting and original
puns on other peoples' names.

There's a simple rule for these things:

(1) Decide if it's really really neat, or just plain neat.

(2) If it's just plain neat, it's been done before.

(3) If it's really really neat, it's been done before.

(4) Even if it hasn't been done before, you'll probably get slapped.


Am I making myself clear, here?

c
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Two bacon
Date: 12 Nov 92 21:19:57 GMT
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Organization: International FurHarvester: Combine a Commie for Christ

antipope@rachel.ibmpcug.co.uk (charless@scol.sco.com) writes:
>z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:
 
>> 	I see you are from Berkeley.  Let me set your mind at ease.
>> Those of us who kill and eat animals invariably do so without the
>> use of excess verbiage, since that would only rile the silly folk who
>> think this sort of death and dismemberment unnecessary.  "Two bacon"
>> sounds a lot better than "two strips of pork flesh taken from the back
>> of a hog while said hog squealed in pain, arteries spurting blood and
>> the skin peeling back over the twisting, frightened animal like the
>> skin of a large, bloody grape."
>

>Sheesh, you're no carnivore! I mean, the whole POINT of eating meat
>is in knowing that a cute, dark-eyed furry forest friend has died
>in agony for your delectation. Otherwise, well ... why bother?

	Why bother?  Because *I HATE PIGS!*  AND CATTLE!  Pigs are
squinty-eyed slobs, so the bunny-huggers don't defend them to the
same extent they do, say, a veal calf.  A veal calf, mind you, that
is perfectly willing to shit a weel-barrow full of slimy neon-green
glow that stinks to high heaven and rots your new $70 leather work
boots inside of three months.  Then there's packing feed to them twice
each day no matter how cold or hot or otherwise uncomfortable the weather
is.  Did I mention that your whole pathetic life now revolves around
keeping this critter well-fed and satisfied?  By the time the meager
profits show up, I'd be glad to drive an axe through its cranium and
bathe in the blood.  That the animal has cute, dark eyes is beside the
point when it comes to domestic livestock, but it does make vaporizing
their lungs with the .50 much more satisfying as seen through the scope.

>Bowel cancer, obesity, cardiac disease -- the only excuse is up-front
>tastelessness. Believe me, meat-eating beats a sado-masochistic
>menage-a-trois any day of the week (with or without added Bolivian
>marching powder). 

	Next time, try adding a mariarchi band or playing bagpipe music.
Might as well set the mood, eh?

>> Trust me (ObMovieReference), in a
>> small state like Iowa we take our marketing of dead, charred animal
>> flesh seriously.
>
>Yurp. That's why there's a state monopoly on arson, right?

	No, I think New York is the best state for arson, but Iowa does
take only one thing more seriously than meat producing, and that is
meat _selling_.  We're greedy capitalists, you know.

--
< Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu viking@iastate.edu >
<  ISU only censors what I read, not what I say.  Don't blame them.  >
<  "This isn't an answer, it's a pagan dance around a midnight fire  >
<   written in intellectual runes." -- Rich Young                    >
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: sick and dying
Date: 6 Nov 92 18:01:41 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <1992Nov6.010353.26681@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>My throat was a bit scratchy Saturday, but not enough to really bother
>me.  Sunday morning I had to lay down in the shower, consumed by chest
>racking coughs and spewing lumpy phlegm.  I thought that the aveoular
>sacs in my lungs were coming up.  After a few minutes of that I was
>weak as a limp dishtowel, and actually had to cancel a trip to the
>shooting range later in the day.

Weird, it seems like there's some respiratory thing going around.  I have
it too, though not nearly as bad as you or Rick.

Peeve:  Phlegm.

      don