HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: n061gg@tamuts.tamu.edu (Vidyasagar Jagadam)
Subject: Re: THE BEST DAMNED JOKES EVER!!!
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 19:21:04 GMT

In article <1992Oct1.062603.16893@tamsun.tamu.edu> mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver) writes:
>>> Here are some of the best jokes I've ever heard:
>>> 1.  Bill Clinton for President
>>> 2.  political correctness
>>> 3.  Animals rights
>>> 4.  Reaganomics destroyed the economy
>>> 5.  Spike Lee's new movie, Malcolm 10 (or is that Malcolm X ?)
>>> 6.  Spike Lee's old movies
>>> 7.  Gay rights
>>> 8.  Liberals
>>> 9.  Misguided liberal dogma, which, incidentally, corrodes the foundations
>>>     of American Society
>>> 10.  Anita Hill
>>> 11.  The whole Kennedy Klan (living and dead)
>>> 12.  Jesse Jackson
>>> 13.  Environmentalists
>>> 14.  The Homeless Advocacy
>>> 15.  Multiculturalists
>>> 16.  Feminists, and other women too ugly to get a date
>>>   
>>>      The list shall go on and on and on and on and on and on and on...
>>
>>How about :
>> 
>>17. Anti Abortionists
>>18. Holes in the ozone layer
>>19. Religious radio stations
>>
>>SPARKER @ GMUVAX.GMU.EDU
>>
>And these...
>
>20.  George Bush...the environmental President.
>21.  Dan Quayle
>22.  "Read My Lips"
>23.  potatoe 
>24.  Republican
>
>Ratboy

25. George Bush...the Education President!
From: smith@ctron.com (Larry Smith)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Native jokes
Date: 8 Oct 92 16:50:15 GMT
Reply-To: smith@ctron.com
Organization: Cabletron Systems, Inc.

In article <15982@mindlink.bc.ca>, Lloyd_Sumpter@mindlink.bc.ca (Lloyd Sumpter) writes:
>   And old Indian went into a roadside cafe one day for breakfast...

No, no, no, that's not it.  The old Indian wasn't old at the begining, he
was a chipper young Chippewa who claimed to have the greatest memory ever
born to man.  A reporter then asked him what he had for breakfast that
morning, expecting a total recall of every detail as a demonstration, but
all he got was "eggs!"  So he went away, but many, many years later, he
ran into the same indian again at a convention.  He was an old, old man
now, but the reporter remembered him and remembered his absurd claim of
flawless memory, so he went up to the old indian and said "How!"

Without a moments hesitation, the indian replied "Scrambled!"

Larry Smith (smith@ctron.com)  No, I don't speak for Cabletron.  Need you ask?
-
How about we all do something reasonable?  I bet that'll confuse 'em!
From: kdq@quest.UUCP (Kevin D. Quitt)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: More tasteless acronyms (or The Tale of the Unfinished List)
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 92 16:17:29 PDT
Reply-To: srhqla!quest!kdq
Organization: Job quest  (805) 251-8210,  So Cal: (800) 400-8210

A lphabetic
C ollocation
R educing
O r
N umbering
Y our
M emory



 _
Kevin D. Quitt                                 Job Quest (805) 251-8210
srhqla!quest!kdq                               Learn How to Get a Job in SoCal

                96.37% of all statistics are made up.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: loon@underdog.ee.wits.ac.za (LOON M J)
Subject: Re: WOODY ALLENISMS PLEASE !!!!!!
Organization: Wits Electrical Engineering (Undergrads).
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 14:15:44 GMT

In article <7OCT199215350638@zeus.tamu.edu> shekhar@zeus.tamu.edu (Sharat Shekhar) writes:

>        C'MON FOLKS LETS MAKE THIS WOODY ALLEN WEEK !!!!!


An Oldie by Woody: Sex between two people is a beautiful thing ... between 
five its fantastic.

--
Marc Loon <loon@underdog.ee.wits.ac.za>
Student No: 8807871/X
Elec Eng. University of the Witwatersrand
Johannesburg

Conversation: a voice competition between two people
in which the one taking a breath is called the listener.
From: demon@demnposs.uucp (Lord Demon)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: confusion
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 92 15:58:24 EDT
Organization: Demonic Possession

Can someone please post the 10,000,000 Green Golf question joke?

maybe I shouldn't have dropped those seven hits of ac
                                                     i
                                                      d
                                                        ..
                                                           ...
                                                               ....


Film at 11!

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: branom@milton.u.washington.edu (Mark Branom)
Subject: Re: Newest Yogi-ism (Re: Yogi quotes)
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 04:02:29 GMT

scsd1055@altair.selu.edu writes:

>	This has got to be the newest Yogi-ism:

>	"I'll believe it, when I believe it."  -Y.B.

>	He says it on that new Pringles potato chip commercial.  I found the
>commercial pretty damn funny.  My younger brother was sitting there watching
>the commercial, and he said, "who the hell is that little ugly f*#@er?"  To
>which I replied, "Yogi Berra."  "I though that he was a cartoon character,"
>he said.   Which made me feel like an old turd!


>Later,
>Bill Plunkett
>scsd1055@selu.ed
       
Boy, Bill, you sure are a reeeeeeeeeeeeal character!

-mark-
From: jkemper@ub.d.umn.edu (Forgetful)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: 10,000  QUESTION PURITY TEST--PLEASE READ !!!!!
Date: 7 Oct 1992 08:57:10 -0500
Organization: University of Minnesota, Duluth
NNTP-Posting-Host: ub.d.umn.edu


	
	Would somebody just post the damn thing so everyone will stop this!!!


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: anonymous
Subject: Re: Fanning the Flames of Hate
Organization: DSO, Stanford University
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 02:23:33 GMT

In article <1aig23INN6n2@roche.csl.sri.com> boucher@csl.sri.com (Peter K.  
Boucher) writes:
> In article <1992Oct1.183434.11252@welchgate.welch.jhu.edu>,  
davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi) writes:
> |> In article 1996@newstand.syr.edu, hlow@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Handel Low)  
writes:
> |> >
>>>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
>> I am not wearing any underware...
> Dan-Quayle-level spelling, but do you care?
I've seen this before, I don't know where.
From: DaPete@cup.portal.com (Pete o Wilkinson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: I need!!! Monty Python Holy grail
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 92 15:14:34 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)

I got the script but I ain't gonna type in  the whole dammed thing.
I'll be happy to reference part of the movie for you if you like but I'm 
not gonna send it out.

Lemme know what ya want...
.........................................................................
:                                                                       : 
: dapete@cup.portal.com         _| _  _  _ __ _        (415) 941 - 1157 :
:..............................(_|(_||_)(-' L(-'........................:
                                     |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
jhsegal
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Palindrome
From: jhsegal@wiscon.weizmann.ac.il (Livy)
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 17:02:23 GMT
 <1992Oct7.183252.14880@mprgate.mpr.ca> <1992Oct8.123526.1722@athena.mit.edu>
Organization: Weizmann Institute of Science, Computation Center

>This appears to be a palindrome (I haven't checked the whole thing, but the ends
>are correct). A palindrome does not have to be just one word, and multi-word
>palindromes are allowed to move spaces around. The classic example, of which the
>above is an expansion is "A man, a plan, a canal-Panama." I've even heard of
>someone who wrote a 50,000 word palindromic book. I  forget the name of the book,
>but I believe it is a world record.
>
The longest palindrom of one word in the world is the Finish word(19 letters):
saippuakivikauppias
which means :Caustic Acid seller(or something like that).
The longest palindrome of one word in english is : redivider (9 letters).
You have also: detartrated ( a chemical expression) which is 11 letters long.
THE LONGEST PALINDRONIC CREATION WAS WRITED BY EDUARD BENBO IN APRIL 1987,
AND IT CONTAINS 66,666 WORDS. It starts by: "'Al,sign it,Lover!..." and ends
by: "...revolting,isla"
The longest palindrome ROMAN,"Dr. Awkward Olson in Oslo"(notice that even the
name is created by 2 palindromes:Dr.Awkward,and Olson in Oslo),was written
by Lorens Levin,from New York,in 1986,and it contained 31,594 words.

Interesting,isn't it?
DISCLAIMER: Those things are true for 1988,and are based on information from
the Guiness World Records Book.If there is any mad/maniac/crazy man somewhere
in the world,who writed since then a longer thing,I am not responsable,and
don't blame me I gave wrong information.

 ---------------This Was Another L I V Y ' S  Production----------------------

  __     __  __    ___ __     _     ___   __
    |      |   \     /   |     \       \    | VM/CMS:
    |      |    \   /    |    _ \       \   | JHSEGALL @ Weizmann.weizmann.ac.il
    |___   |       /     |    _  \    |  \  | UNIX:
        |  |      /      |   /    \   |     |  JHSEGAL  @ Wiscon.weizmann.ac.il

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bobk@gibdo.engr.washington.edu (Bob)
Subject: Re: GREEN GOLF BALL JOKE
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 10:11:36 GMT

Dennis Guldan (djg@cray.com) writes:
|   I heard there was a new ending to the funniest joke in the world
| the GREEN GOLF BALL JOKE... has anyone heard it.

  Actually there are a lot of new variations.  In fact, there is a new
  book of them out just in time for the Christmas shopping season.
  (_The Green Golf Ball Joke Book_, Simon and Schuster, 1992, 86 pp.)

  I was short on cash when I saw it at the bookstore, but I plan to head
  back next weekend and snag a copy.  I'll post a few of the jokes when
  I get it, but if anyone else gets it before then, feel free to post a
  few choice selections.

  (And yes, it does contain *the* original GGBJ.)
  ==

  Bob

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: chorley@vms.ocom.okstate.edu
Subject: Re:    You Might Be Considered a RED NECK if....
Organization: OSU College of Osteopathic Medicine
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 17:36:06 GMT

In article <92290.091108DXS8@psuvm.psu.edu>, Danette Smith <DXS8@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>  1.  Your front porch collapses and you kill more than 6 dogs.
>  2.  You've even used lard in BED.
>  3.  You think potted meat on saltines is a HORS D' OEUVRE.
>  4.  There is a stuffed possum mounted somewhere in your house.
>  5.  You consider a six-pack & a bug zapper as quality entertainment.
>  6.  Less than half the cars you own run.
>  7.  Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling
>      the state trooper to kiss off.
>  8.  The primary color of your car is "Bondo"
>  9.  You honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive
>      tongue gestures.
> 10.  Your family tree doesn't fork.
> 11.  You've hollered "ROCK THE HOUSE, BUBBA" during a piano recital.
> 12.  Your mother has never been involved in a fist fight at a high school
>      sports events.
> 13.  You've even barbecued SPAM on the grill.
> 14.  Your neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lighting.
> 15.  Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
> 16.  The rear tires are twice as wide as your front ones.
> 17.  You consider "Outdoor Life" as deep reading.
> 18.  The diploma hanging in your den has "Trucking Institute" somewhere
>      on it.
> 19.  Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
> 20.  You've even worn a tube top to a wedding.
> 21.  You think "DOM PERIGNON" is a Mafia leader.
> 22.  Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening
>      on the lube rack.
> 23.  You think a VOLVO is part of woman's anatomy.
> 24.  You've been too drunk to FISH.
> 25.  You've had a rag for a gas cap.
> 26.  You've even used a Weed Eater inside.
> 27.  You have shackles on the rear of your car.
> 28.  Your idea of sexual foreplay is telling you female partner "GET YOUR
>      CLOTHES OFF B*TCH".
> 29.  You wear white socks with black pants and have a car with a rebel flag
>      in the back.
> 

30. Your brother-in-law buys a new home and invites you over to help him 
take the wheels off

31. You think of a family gathering as a good place to meet babes.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: djg@cray.com (Dennis Guldan)
Subject: Bumper Sticker
Keywords: Nixon 92
Date: 12 Oct 92 08:27:08 CDT

In these days of confused politics I saw a great bumper sticker, it read...

  TANNED, RESTED & READY
     NIXON '92




    
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: anonymous
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Organization: DSO, Stanford University
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 02:20:52 GMT

In article <VANDER.92Oct3184232@vancouver.stars.flab.Fujitsu.co.jp>  
vander@flab.fujitsu.co.jp (Mike van der Velden) writes:
> 
> I'm surprised that no one has mentioned this yet, but one of the
> funniest things about Americans is their system of measurement!
> 
> 16 ounces = 1 pound (where did the abbrev "lb" come from, anyway?)

It comes from ze Fransh (or latin or something)---> livre(s). meaning  
pound.



> The (very sad) list goes on and on....
> 
> 
> Even, the British, where the old imperial system of measurement was
> invented, are switching to metric.  I believe that the US, along with
> a little country called Burma, are the last nations on earth that
> still officially use the imperial system.

The country is NOT called Burma (anymore) the country is now called  
Myanmar.


Maybe switching to a new system should start by having people be  
educated...
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Hello
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Date: Wed, 07 Oct 92 11:12:31 PDT
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

i0b8356@summa.tamu.edu (BERRIOS, IVAN) writes:
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
> >>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
> >>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
> >>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
> >>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
> >>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
> >>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
> >>>>>Will this last til June or May?
> >>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
> >>>Why not today.
> >>Go away.
> >Yes, right away.
> Yes, but I'm in the way!
Otay!

--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: branom@milton.u.washington.edu (Mark Branom)
Subject: Re: ANOTHER BAD JOKE OF THE DAY
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 04:05:01 GMT

krauss@oktext.sbc.com (M S Krauss) writes:

>In article <1992Oct5.102216.8543@edinboro.edu> s462075d@edinboro.edu writes:
>>Did you hear about the frat brother who lost his girlfrield?
>>
>>
>>He was drunk and couldn't remember where he laid her!
>>
>>
>>(I don't want to start a greek war here, just some clean humor)
>                          ^^^^^

>	Don't you mean geek?
>>
>>UNDERDOG

hahahahahahahahAhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.    not.
   -mark-
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kuntal@algol.cs.umbc.edu (survivor)
Subject: Re: <None>
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus, Computer Science Department
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 20:50:55 GMT


someone wrote :

>: I am a single white female withlarge breasts please write me!!!!!!
                ^
                |
    is a "period" missing here ? it could give a whole new meaning, ya know ?!
    ;-)
From: hansm@madmats.esd.sgi.com (Madhsudan Hans)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: More Bathroom Graffitti
Date: 8 Oct 92 00:29:36 GMT
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

The mens' room (in one of the student halls at my old school) was
undergoing a paint-job. So, there were signs all over that read
"WET PAINT".

Underneath one of these signs, someone had scribbled:

"THIS IS NOT AN INSTRUCTION!"

:-)

--Mats

hansm@sgi.com
From: jbuckner@lonestar.utsa.edu (James A. Buckner)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: re:how they do it?
Date: 13 Oct 92 15:23:12 GMT
Article-I.D.: ringer.1992Oct13.152312.7893
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio

In article <1992Oct13.143359.18844@welchgate.welch.jhu.edu> davidk@welch.jhu.edu writes:
>In article 190390002@hpubvwa.nsr.hp.com, guyh@hpubvwa.nsr.hp.com (Guy Hyde) writes:
>>    In a previous article, g90c5787@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MS S WILSON-CROSS) says:
>>
>>    >Drama students do it with an audience.
>>    >
>>    >Computer Science students do it with hard drives.
>>    >
>>    >
>>    >Cooks do it with grease and a lot of heat...
>>
>>    Mechanical Engineers do it with fluid dynamics ...
>
>Medievalists do it with fake, fluffy weapons.
>
>
Divers do it deeper.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: stigh@edb.tih.no (Stig Husby,o91a)
Subject: Wanted: Al Bundy comments..
Reply-To: stigh@edb.tih.no
Organization: T I H / T I S I P
Posting-Front-End: Winix Conference v 92.05.15  1.20 (running under MS-Windows)
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 11:58:12 GMT

Howdy!

I'm a big fan of the Bundy Family from the TV serie 
MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.. 

I wonder if anyone has written down Al bundy's comments when
he enters the home, or his comments about Peggy...

If you do, POST IT!


   Stig Husby!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
     Let's hear the BUNDY cheer.....   BUUUUUNNDDYY!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 01:17:11 EDT
From: <JMK134@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: gulls

SEVERE PUN WARNING!!!!


There was this man who worked at an aquarium.  One day his boss said to him,
"Those porpoises are getting horny again, and we've got a group of third-grade
kids coming today.  The only thing that seems to keep them from screwing in the
tank is eating baby seagulls.  Go down to the shore and get some.  Oh, and be
careful--a lion has escaped from the zoo.  He's been shot with a tranquilizer,
but he's still loose."

So the man goes to the shore and collects a dozen seagulls, packs them in a bag
and heads back.  On the way, he finds the lion sleeping right in the road.  He
carefully steps over him, and starts to run, when a policeman jumps out of
nowhere and says, "You're under arrest"

"What for?", the man asks.

"Transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immoral porpoises."

(I know, I know)

Jeff K. at Penn State
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: amini@iam.unibe.ch ( Amir A. Amini)
Subject: Clinton Top Ten Plans
Reply-To: amini@iam.unibe.ch
Organization: Dept. of Computer Science, University of Berne, Switzerland
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 19:34:31 GMT

This was circulating around the office today...


-------------------------------------------------------------------------


Top ten Clinton plans for instituting change in America:

10.  The safe smoking plan. (Don't inhale...)

9.   The counter-the-negative-effects-of-drugs-in-our-urban-communities
     plan. (See #10)

8.   The Don't-Worry-Be-Happy or Forget-about-the-deficit plan.

7.   The No-more-presidential-debates-during-baseball-division-finals 
     plan.

6.   The "Prescott Bush" or embarrass-your-opponents-by-mentioning-their-
     parents plan.

5.   The "Sister Souljah" or Repeal the First Amendment plan. (Tipper 
     Gore, chief executor).

4.   The "Charlotte Perry" or eliminate-racial-discrimination-in-the-
     workplace-by-changing-the-job-titles plan.

3.   The cut-defense-by-building-more-billion-dollar-submarines plan.

2.   The provide-more-jobs-to-union-workers-by-endorsing-North-American-
     Free-Trade-Agreement plan.

And the number one Clinton plan for instituting change in America...

1.   The marry-your-chief-advisor/make-love-to-your-staff-assistants or
     New American Family Values plan.

(NOTE: All of the above plans have been successfully implemented in Arkansas.)
From: 739chan1@gw.wmich.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Toilet Graffiti
Date: 8 Oct 92 21:20:14 EST
Organization: Western Michigan University

Some toilet graffiti:

Q: Why is a bungee cord the same as a prostitute?
A: They both cost 50 bucks and if the rubber breaks you die.

Everybody Shut Up!
- On a wall covered with graffiti.

__________________________________________________________________________
Chan Lee Meng          \  "You're the wrong man at the wrong place
739chan1@gw.wmich.edu    \   at the wrong time!"
X92chan3@gw.wmich.edu      \   "Story of my life."
Western Michigan University. \   - Die Hard II 


Xref: sparky rec.humor:30863 aus.jokes:1570 alt.folklore.computers:14975 aus.computers:345
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
Subject: Re: Thoughts
From: kmitche@eis.calstate.edu (Kenneth Mitchell)
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 05:43:06 GMT
Organization: Calif State Univ/Electronic Information Services

wright@latcs1.lat.oz.au (Michael G. Wright) writes:
> Ahhh, all you unbelievers. So sorry that you cannot see the error of your 
> ways. Don't you see that Macintosh is becoming more and more powerful every
> day simply because people _are_ dumb, so they want a simple interface. And
> if you think that IBM and Clone users are immune, well, Windows 3.1?
> 

Seriously, in 5 years, it WON'T MATTER what kind of computer you have;
they'll all work the same, and will all run the same software. And alas
for you Messy-DOS freaks, t'll be VERY much like a Mac; many programs
ALREADY are virtually identical in their Windows and Mac incarnations.
Stuff from Microsoft, for example; check the title page of the Excel 4.0
manual, where it says "For the Macintosh or for Microsoft Windows". Same
book for both programs. 

Ken Mitchell
kmitche@eis.calstate.edu
From: aberigan@nde.unl.edu (A. Berigan)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Telephone answering machine messages
Date: 16 Oct 92 18:32:38 GMT
Organization: Ord High School, Ord, NE
NNTP-Posting-Host: nde.unl.edu

amorgan@csd-d-3.Stanford.EDU (Crunchy Frog) writes:
>aberigan@nde.unl.edu (A. Berigan) writes:
>>steinl@idt.unit.no (Stein Lang|rgen) writes:

>>>I'm writing the definative work on pain, and I would like you
>>>to tell me how the machine makes you feel.  Remember, be honest.  This
>>>is for posterity." <beep>

>>Sheesh, hasn't someone corrected this one yet?  It comes from the movie
>>"The Princess Bride", and a more accurate version is:
>:[deleted]

>Actually it comes from the book "The Princess Bride".

Well, maybe the TALKING book... I stand by my answer.

>C "Some people" Frog

-- 
     __o          (10/3)  1/      (11/3)
  __p\<,_       WF      + /(10-WF)
__(")/ (`)__     
~~~~~~~~~~~~ aberigan@nde.unl.edu (Greg Berigan)
From: ragman@bsu-cs.bsu.edu (Mike "Ragman" Norris)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Cripple Joke
Date: 16 Oct 92 06:31:02 GMT
Article-I.D.: bsu-cs.2866
Organization: CS Dept, Ball St U, Muncie, Indiana

How do you pay a girl with no arms or legs a compliment

"Nice tits!"

Ragman
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca (Denis Beauregard)
Subject: Re: American joke ?
Organization: Institut de recherche d'Hydro-Quebec, Varennes, Canada
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 15:54:29 GMT

In article <1992Oct9.162143.27974@access.usask.ca> skeeter@skatter.usask.ca writes:
>From article <1992Oct5.182346.27906@wisipc.weizmann.ac.il>, by jhsegal@wiscon.weizmann.ac.il (Livy):
>> 
>> Even their grades: the 100F = the human body temperature(and Farenhite the idiot
>>  measured his temperature when he had fever,so it's ~38C),and the 0F=~-18(again
>>  Farenhite the idiot got out from his house in a winter day(-18C),and said it
>>  is SO(?!!?) cold,that this must be the 0,and colder than that is impossible).
>>  It is totaly incorrect,and non-scientifical..but..heh..Americans..
>
>Ya, well, get yer facts straight.  Fahrenheit (note the spelling!)
>set zero at the coldest temperature he could get water to stay liquid
>by adding salt and things to it.

Yes 0 oF = Salted water freezing
  100 oF = Human body temperature (but let's presume some fever at that time

But, why not talking about the Reaumur scale?

   0 oR = Water boiling (100 oC)
  80 oR = Water freezing (0 oC)

What nationality was Fahrenheit?  I think Reaumur was a French and Celsius
a Swedish.

-- 
  \_\    Denis Beauregard  *  internet:beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca
 /   \   Ge'ne'alogiste des familles : Beauregard/Jarret/Jarest/Vincent
J   __>  Un Que'bec renouvele' dans une Ame'rique renove'e
\_.-===  Une entente au contenu insatisfaisant!     Mon opinion ? Non !