From: john@makesys.com (John Turman)
Subject: Re: How to Make Atom Bomb
Organization: Make Systems, Inc.
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 18:43:48 GMT

In article <1992Jul23.143425.6918@uwm.edu> yanoff@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Scott A. Yanoff) writes:
>
>                        How To Make an Atomic Bomb
>
>The pro-
>ject will cost
>between $5,000 and $30,000
>dollars, depending on how
>
Stuff Deleted

>2.  CONSTRUCTION METHOD
>
>1.  First, obtain about 50
>pounds (110 kg) of weapons
>grade Plutonium at your local
>
Stuff Deleted

>2.   Please remember that
>Plutonium, especially pure,
>refined Plutonium, is somewhat
>
Stuff Deleted

>3.  Fashion together a metal
>enclosure to house the device. 
>
Stuff Deleted

>4.   Arrange the Plutonium into
>two hemispherical shapes,
>separated by about 4 cm. 
>Use rubber cement to hold the
>Plutonium dust together. 
>Gelignite is much better,
>but messier to work with.  Your
>helpful hardware man will be
>happy to provide you with this
>item.
>
>6.  Pack the TNT around the
>hemisphere arrangement
>constructed in  step  4.  If
>you cannot find Gelignite, feel
>free to use TNT packed in with
>Playdo or any modeling clay. 
>Colored clay is acceptable, but
>there is no need to get fancy
>at this point.
>
>7.   Enclose the structure from
>step 6 into the enclosure made
>in step 3.  Use a strong glue
>such as "Crazy Glue" to bind
>the hemispherical arrangement
>against the enclosure to
>prevent accidental detonation
>which might result from
>vibration or mishandling.
>
>8.   To detonate the device,
>obtain a radio controlled (RC)
>"Blast-O-Mactic" brand because
>they are no deposit-no return.
>
>9.   Now hide the completed
>device from the neighbors and
>
>10.   Now you are the proud
>owner of your own
>thermonuclear device!  It is a
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Not! This is simply a Nuclear device
Thermonuclear would require a radioactive
isotope of Hydrogen such as Deuterium or
preferably Tritium.

>great ice-breaker at parties,
>and in a pinch, can be used for
>national defense.
>
>3.  THEORY OF OPERATION
>
>     The device basically works
>when the detonated TNT
>compresses the Plutonium  into a
>critical mass.  The critical
>mass then produces a nuclear
>chain reaction similar to the
>domino chain reaction
>(discussed in this column,
>"Dominos on the  March" March,
>1968).  The chain reaction then
>promptly produces a big
>thermonuclear  reaction. 
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Again just nuclear.

>And there you have it, a 10
>megaton explosion!
>
>4.  NEXT MONTH'S COLUMN
>
>     In next month's column, we
>will learn how to clone your
>neighbor's wife in six easy
>steps.  This project promises
>to be an exciting weekend full
>of fun and profit. Common
>kitchen utensils will be all
>you need.  See you next month!
>
>5.  NOTES
>
>1.  Plutonium (PU), atomic
>number 94, is a radioactive
>metallic element that you should not eat, drink,
>or have sex with.....
>-- 
> _/\ _ !\ _         @           Milwaukee, WI - A Great Place by a Great Lake
>!  _! !! ! !_  ~~  @ ~  ~~         
>! ! ! !! ! ! !~~__=||_~ ~~~          *** Computing Services Division ***
>! ! ! _! ! ~~~ ~\____/  ~~~ yanoff@csd4.csd.uwm.edu   yanoff@elvis.csd.uwm.edu

It is not my intent to flame here just to correct a few oversights. You may
now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

John
-- 
The opinions expressed here are sole property of the author and are not
the opinions of Make Systems or any other entity. What a shame.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
John "Dolphinatic" Turman
Newsgroups: rec.humor