Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: Re: Chrispy House Show Review - Part 2
From: pmbarlow@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu (Pete Barlow... 'The Candy Guru')
Date: 7 Jan 93 15:26:48 -0500
Distribution: na
Organization: Miami University Academic Computer Service"

In article <86284@ut-emx.uucp>, chrispy@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Christopher Palacios) writes:
> 4) Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty
> Mike was singing Shawn's theme.  I loved it.  Shawn hits the ring and
> grabs Mike.  She tried to keep herself from laughing.  Then he starts
> yelling something, but apparently something slipped out of his mouth,
> because he got this "OOPS!" look on his face.  Too funny.  Both of
> them crack a laugh.
> Marty hits the ring, and both of them go at it.  However, they're both
> LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF!  They're punching and giggling like school
> girls.  Couldn't tell why, but fun to see nonetheless.

Hey, I've got an idea... no, wait, better not say anything.

> Back in the ring, and Marty takes over.  The crowd gives Marty a big
> pop, and he produces, working a hell of a match.  Lots of bumps, and
> action galore.
> 
> This was easily the best match of the evening.  Well worked.  No time
> for heckling since the match was moving so well.
> 
> ***1/2

Yes, but who won?

[funny Coke story deleted]
> He's
> instantly pissed, but cheers up when he sees...
> MIKE McGUIRK!
> "We missed you!  Ouch, Baby!  Don't torture us!"
> Another smirk.  I'm still bragging about that wink.

Change headline... "MIKE MCGUIRK SOLE FEMALE IN WRESTLING FAN ORGY!"

> 5) Bob Backlund vs. Berzerker
> 
> Berzerker comes out, and my brother and I stand up and start the chant.
> "HUSS HUSS HUSS!"  Berzerker hears us, stands in front of us and joins
> along!  TOO COOL!

Say, y'all are gettin' some great attention.

> Then, I get proof on why Backlund will NEVER win a WWF title again.
> Backlund came out to almost no pop and a considerable amount of BOOS.
> I was floored.  I couldn't believe it.

I can.  Backlund is dull.  The marks aren't buying the canned heat on the
syndies.

> 6) Undertaker vs. Papa Shango
> 
> Mike on the apron.  Me and my brother start bowing, worshipping the
> goddess of the spandex tux.  She sees this and stares at us.  My
> brother starts laughing.  She looks at me, and I give her a smile,
> a thumbs up, and a Rick Rude-esqe kiss.  She hunches over laughing.

Yeesh...

> 7) Ric Flair vs. Bret Hart
>  
> Mike on the apron.  More worshipping.  Aaaah, what a woman.

Say, have ya tried burning incense for her yet?

> "Introducing first, the challenger..."  That's all I heard, as I stood
> up and threw my Ric Flair WCW wrestling figure in the air, wooooing like
> a madman.  

Calm yourself.  You did the same thing for McGuirk.

> The Man (tm) strolls down the aisle, decked in a black robe with "Nature
> Boy" on the back, wearing red trunks and boots.  He sees me, yelling and
> holding up his likeness.  He stares at the doll for a second (vision must
> be going), gives a smile and nods at me.  I almost died.  Needless to say,
> I was wooing for the rest of the match.

So you prefer blondes.

> "Hey Bret, I got your sharpshooter RIGHT HERE..."
> "Hey Bret, your hair's a little low.  I got some Quaker State in my car.
>  See me after the show, and I'll hook you up..."

Two of the best quotes ever.

> A pretty decent match, but something was missing.  Bret has no charisma,
> Ric had no desire.  Ric controlled most of the match, but when he set
> Bret up for a whip off the ropes, Bret reversed, did a sunset flip,
> and PULLED RIC'S TRUNKS DOWN, revealing The Man's cheeks.  I swear,
> if it wasn't for the Nature Boy's manhood holding up the other side of
> his trunks, there would have been some old ladies Woooing for Space
> Mountain all night.

But would one of them have been you?  :-)

TCG, pb.
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling