HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: merciermd@EA.USL.EDU (Lusty Yeller Wench)
Subject: Re: Essence of Relationships
Reply-To: merciermd@EA.USL.EDU (Lusty Yeller Wench)
Organization: The Rubber Band Planet of Supple Passion Droids
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 13:39:19 GMT

i think that the difference between a friendship and relationship,
as shallow as it sounds, is chemistry. after all, two people can get
along very well, seeming to read each other's mind, make each other
feel better, blah blah, but i have seen where two people who were in
this kind of relationship made it into something deeper with
disastrous results. it was not pretty. whereas as friends they were
inseparable, as a couple they wondered what they had seen in each
other. my ex-boyfriend and i had a very tempestuous relationship
for three years. we had nothing in common. we fought quite a lot.
we always got back together. we are now in the process of yet again
getting back together. it's been sheer hell. it's been a lot of fun.
we were attracted to each other from the first. since then, that
attraction has sometimes been the only thing that has kept us
together.

of course, it could be that i am totally neurotic, he is totally
neurotic, and we have a psychologically shallow relationship.
it works for us.

out of the three years (well, 2 and three-quarters), we didn't
have sex for two years. some people find that odd, considering how
often we were at each other's throats - and how quickly we got back
together. it was bizarre. it still is. it amazes me sometimes, but
i roll with it - tres, tres happily.


marisstella

--<-{@

"lemme graze into your veldt, lemme stomple your albino;
 lemme nibble on your buds, i'm your love rhino."
                                            -DEATHTONGUE
From: drburne@eos.ncsu.edu (DALE ROBERT BURNETT)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: confused by physical contact, need advice
Date: 21 Jul 92 12:49:45 GMT
Reply-To: drburne@eos.ncsu.edu (DALE ROBERT BURNETT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Originator: drburne@c00010-118dan.eos.ncsu.edu


go back and read your own letter and then decide.  you know what you should 
do but just dont want to do it.
From: nev@stl.stc.co.uk (Neil Vince)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: A Romantic Idea
Date: 22 Jul 92 15:27:53 GMT
Organization: STC Technology Ltd., London Road, Harlow, UK.


	Here's the scene, a week on Sunday I will have been dating my
girlfriend for a year and I want to do something special!  I live in London
at the moment and she lives in the South of Scotland so when I go and visit 
her every fortnight it involves a 400 mile drive which takes a long time. 
So saying that she thinks that me just coming home is special, we've done all
the usual things (don't ask) that young (early 20's) do AND just at the 
moment I am broke, but thats nothing new.  I just would like some ideas of
what we could do that is completely different yet romantic.  Any of you
budding romantics got any good ideas?
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: shulick@navajo.ucs.indiana.edu (Sam Hulick)
Subject: PLEASE HELP - LIFE &DEATH
Originator: shulick@navajo
Reply-To: shulick@navajo.ucs.indiana.edu
Organization: Vallen Software
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 11:46:49 GMT


My friend came back to town.. and she told me she's bulemic.  She'll eat 
something, then throw it up later, and now it's gotten to the point where 
blood is present.  HELP!  She's gone to a counselor, but it didn't help.  *I*
have to help her, but how?  What can I possibly do/say to convince her & show
her that she's destroying herself?  Respond via e-mail. (shulick@indiana.edu)

-- 
Sam Hulick  ///  E-mail: shulick@indiana.edu (including NeXT mail)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
  "...I wear a face born in the falling rain."  --Queensryche
From: HJ46@lafibm.lafayette.edu (Baboo (Holton, Jeffrey))
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: RE: I AM DONE WITH THEM!
Date: 26 Jul 92 16:48:33 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <tokorhon.710970826@messi.uku.fi> tokorhon@messi.uku.fi (Tommi Korhonen) writes:
>
>Isn't there anything rational inwomen? Is there? Does anyone know?
>

No, but that's the point.  That's what makes it exciting.  =)

--Jeffrey, trapped into dating a redhead (they're the worst of all!)

P.S.  I quote the ex-vice-president of my house: "Women.  Cant' live
with 'em.


..Can't live with 'em."  =)
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Tuesday, 21 Jul 1992 19:42:32 CDT
From: Chris Grumboski <U15479@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Breaking ties for good.

I need some advice that I can give to a girl that I am interested in seeing.
She was in an abusive relationship where her boyfriend cheated on her and many
other bad things.  They broke up but they still sometimes talk and get together
because she says she is lonely.  Lately she has been getting very mad at him
because he has been putting down by calling her stupid etc. and she finally
just wants to break it off with him and not talk to him again.  The problem is
that she is very non-assertive  and afraid.  She is just to scared to confront
him and tell him to go to hell and never to speak to him again.  Secondly, even
if she did tell him not to talk to her again he would call her in a few weeks
and she would probably do something with him because she is bored or not a
hateful person etc.
     She used to be extremely in love with this guy and he was also her first
lover so she admits that is why it is hard for her to break it off.  So what
can I tell her to do and say to tell her ex to piss off?  Also, what can I tell
her to say if he calls her because she is very weak when it comes to things
like this?  Thank you in advance.

                                 Chris
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: sut@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Secure Unix Team KID01)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Advice on this problem much appreciated...
Keywords: advice, romance, touching, advances
Date: 29 Jul 92 11:54:19 GMT
Organization: ICL Bracknell, UK

In article <716@dsbc.icl.co.uk> Secure Unix Team KID01 <sut@dsbc.icl.co.uk> writes:
>
>	Well, just do what my old man said to me,
>
>	"Son, just sit on 'er shoulders and whack it down 'er neck!"
>
>
>	Cheers Blue!
>

I would just like to point out that I use a group account on this machine,
which is also used by other team members. This posting wasn *not* instigated
by me, but I know who did it. Punchings will be distributed accordingly.

Apologies for any offence caused by my crass colleague.

-- 
 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 | Martyn Amos -- Secure UNIX Team, ICL Kidsgrove, Staffs., ST7 1TL    O/  |
 | mra@skoda.zen.icl.co.uk -- Tel. (0782) 771000 Ext. 3152            /|   |
 | >>>>>>>>>>>>>> T E R M I N A L L Y   G R O O V Y <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<   / >  |
 |            Disclaimer: My mental state is not ICL's fault.              |
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: pct@RLG.Stanford.EDU (Peter C. Tam)
Subject: jobs
Keywords: programmer
Organization: Research Libraries Group, Inc.
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 23:36:41 GMT
From: catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: re: romance = sex?
Date: 31 Jul 92 04:37:15 GMT
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service

(the followup on the rn version I deal with doesn't like me,
so please bear with my posts)

I think that _telling_ _her_ how you feel and then seeing whatever
her reaction is is the best way to go.  If she really likes you, she
will at least accept that not having sex is your preference and not
try to change you.  If she does try to change you, I would check a
second or third or even sixty-eighth time to make sure this is not
infatuation.  Tell the guys at work to buzz off.  YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR FRIEND IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS, even if she's one of
their sisters or something.
If they really get bad about ragging at you, try what my SO did
when the guys in his dorm got after him..."That's for me to know
and you _not_ to find out."  Sounding self-assured and maybe even
a little overconfident, etc., will leave them speculating and 
for a while asking more questions, but if you keep repeating yourself
even the biggest moron will figure it out that you're not telling anything.
That may not put an end to their BS but it will take some
of the heat off of you.


Catherine G. Collingwood, aka Lady Firebird
catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu  --or--  ccolling@nyx.cs.du.edu
"Imagination is only intelligence having fun."  --Anon.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jcr@mbunix.mitre.org (Rogers)
Subject: Re: Poll results
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, Bedford, MA
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 17:30:22 GMT

esper@cs35b.cs.umn.edu (Dave Sherohman) writes:
> markway1112@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
>> Arguments for [premarital sex] :
>> "gives you a better idea of what marriage is all about",
> Only if you think marriage is all about sex...

Yeah, well, of course marriage isn't *ALL* about sex, but sex is
one very important component of marriage (its importance varies
from couple to couple). If someone decides to "save themselves
for marriage," they should realize that by doing so, they're
effectively saying:

"Here's this aspect of my life that I'm going to explore,
experience, and express ONLY within the context of a marriage,
and furthermore, I'm going to enter into my first marriage
with absolutely NO first-hand experience or knowledge of
this aspect of my life."

If you feel alright with this, I think that's great. But for
some folks it can turn the bedroom into a bit of a pressure-
cooker during the first months or years of the marriage.

I personally would prefer to enter into relationships (including
marriage) equipped with some self-knowledge in this area, and
I prefer that my partner be similarly equipped.

The notion that someone has lessened their worth or attractiveness
because they've had sexual experience before hooking up with you
is the ultimate puritanical victorian hypocrisy -- if you're even
contemplating sexual contact with them, how can you condemn them
for having done precisely that earlier? Having sexual experience
*DOES NOT EQUAL* being a slut.

--- Jeff R.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bicker@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Subject: Re: Not enough time for LOVE
Reply-To: Brian.C.Kohn@att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Organization: The Internet
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 13:33:25 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance

In article <1992Jul22.105801.5723@iscsvax.uni.edu> markway1112@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
>I just recently discovered this newsgroup, and I first want to say
>that you all are kind, wonderful people- deserving only the very
>best of love and happiness life has to offer!  I wish you all well
>in your romantic pursuits!

<blush>

>I have a potentially serious problem...He's an MIS major and studies A LOT;
>I will be beginning graduate studies this fall and will have
>no social life either :(  .  Right now he's working and taking
>classes, and I work 3 jobs- which means I see him for an hour max.
>every day.  My question for all of you lovers out there-
>what can I do to keep the fire from fizzling when we ARE together,
>how can we improve communications with our limited schedules?
>Has anyone had this problem.. and have any ideas?

First of all...how are weekends?  Any better time-wise?  Even if not,
my fiance and I have built a very strong relationship on 12-15 hours
per week of time together, almost half of which has been telephone or
computer-chat time.

As far as improving communication, that's not so much a matter of time
available than time spent.  Certainly don't spend your time together
going to a movie or seeing a show.  Spend your time interacting with
each other and yes with other people, since being with your RP around
other people is a great forum for learning more about him. 

In the end, it comes down to committment.  If you are both strongly
commited to making things work and learning to communicate better, it
can happen.
-- 
Brian Charles Kohn             E-MAIL: att!hoqax!bicker  (bicker@hoqax.ATT.COM)
Poet of "Quality"
    'Hope, not fear, is the most positive advocate of action.' - S.R. Lawhead
                   Stamp Out "SO": "RP" = "Romantic Partner"
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: kimmyd@bnr.ca (Kimmy Posey P920)
Subject: To Stefani: Your post worked ...
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, BNR-RTP 
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 03:52:31 GMT

Hi Stefani,

  I see your post here in RTP NC.  Looks good from here.  Can't help you on
separation though.  I'm not too good @ handling it myself.  This is more than
likely a good antidote though.  I'm new myself so can't say for sure.  Where
has hubby gone?  Is it a work thing?  School thing?  Letters & phone good but
hard to snuggle with ...

KimmyD
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: love  or gibberish?
From: steiner@jupiter.cse.utoledo.edu (jason steiner)
Date: 24 Jul 92 19:12:31 EST

u924185@postoffice.utas.edu.au writes:
>
> Why does falling love with someone transform one into a gibbering,
> half brain death, yet emotionally energised individual?
> 
> There is a young, female on campus who just fries my brain when
> I see her, but I am just terrified to walk up to her and say Hi!
> 
> I think she is just perfect, but this makes me all the more insecure
> about myself.

heheh. i used to have exactly this problem. fortunately, i've had a
little luck changing it.

first off, realize that she's -not- perfect, but that the person
behind your fantasy is probably more interesting than what you
imagine. approaching her with the attitude that you'd like to find
out about that person will mean less pressure than approaching a
fantasy.

what it comes down to is that lowering your expectations also lowers
the tension & just happens to make you look like a more stable,
relaxed, less desperate and more attractive person as well. it
took me about a year of telling myself "hey! she's -not- going to
marry you asshole! but if you're nice & friendly she might actually
talk to you & there's the possibility you could become friends."

here's hoping it takes you less time.

jason "y'know, it worked." steiner

--
     Democrat: 	Give us your money. _We'll_ solve your problems.
   Republican: 	Give us your money. We'll pretend your problems don't exist.
  Libertarian: 	Here's your money. Solve your own problems.
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` steiner@jupiter.cse.utoledo.edu `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Weaver)
Subject: Re: advice need on long distance relationship
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 92 00:59:47 GMT

In article <92210.142129CEG112@psuvm.psu.edu> CEG112@psuvm.psu.edu writes:
>I am a new reader but I really needed some help bad.  I've asked friends but
>they've never had a problem like this so they're not real helpful.  Last summer
>I met this guy who I found out was leaving for Korea for the air force the week
>after I met him.  
(rest of story deleted).

I know it is hard, but it sounds like you two need to talk before he
leaves for Texas.  You should come to some understanding of what is
going to happen between you two when he is in Texas. I would suggest
keeping it concrete issues in the immediate future. For example, if you
don't want him dating other women, tell him you would rather he did not
date other women.

You have the right to express how you feel. Just remember to state
these things as your feelings and not as some sort of order or threat.
He should tell you how he feels about these issues and you two will
need to make some compromises.

I know this seems like taking a risk, but you yourself have said
that doing nothing is a bigger risk. You don't deserve to loose him,
so you owe it to yourself to act in your own self interest. And you
wouldn't be doing him any favors by remaining silent, either.

I wouldn't mention being afraid of losing him, though. Honesty is a
good thing, but I think that expressing these sorts of doubts tends to
do more harm than good.

I think others on the net have better suggestions on how to keep a 
relationship alive when separated by distance, so I won't comment on
that.

Good Luck,
Michael.
From: gtao@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Greg )
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: blind date
Date: 29 Jul 92 18:19:49 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

go for it!

what are you afraid of...just be yourself and treat it as a chance to get
to know her...geeze, don't people just go out to have a good time anymore???


*******************************************************************************
* Gregory Tao                      | E-mail to:  gt38091@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu     * 
* Univ. of IL at Urbana-Champaign  |        OR      gtao@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu     *
* Department of Computer Science   |        OR      gtao@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu     *
* --------------------------------------------------------------------------- *
*                                                                             *
*  	``Change, suddenly, is everywhere we look, sweeping empires and       *
*    ideologies before it, shaping a new era even as we watch. Such moments   *
*    are rare. Today we stand at such a moment.''                             * 
*                                                                             *
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: boardman@CS.ColoState.EDU (andrew boardman)
Subject: Re: Rainbow Connections mailing list
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 16:54:37 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Computer Science Department
Keywords: LDR mailing list

er... oops :) Sorry Richard -- I'll talk to you the next time I do this.

		-- skye

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bicker@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Subject: Re: Ideas and suggestions on long distance relationships.. PLEASE?
Reply-To: Brian.C.Kohn@att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Organization: The Internet
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 13:25:59 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance

In article <1992Jul22.181857.3515@wam.umd.edu> tedwards@wam.umd.edu (technopagan priest) writes:
>In article <1992Jul22.151115.10521@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu> daw@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (Dave Webb) writes:
>>relationship.  We live about 3 to 3.5 hours away from each other and plan on 
>>spending as much time as we can together.  I'll be looking to hear what you
>>have to say.. you can e-mail or post here.  I REALLY appreciate it!
>Well, get her net access, and either use the talk program, or let her
>telnet into your account and write to one another on your system.

As an alternative, invest $35/month each in PC Pursuit accounts and
accounts on a PC Pursuitable chat system.  That's how my fiance (from
CT) and I (from NJ) met and grew our budding romance.  Email me for
details.

I would suggest you don't always meet up in NYC, but in Baltimore
some.  It's a more affordable city to meet in first of all, and I feel
safter in Baltimore than in my own hometown (NYC).  More importantly,
this way one partner isn't "carrying all the weight" of the
relationship, something which almost broke mine up.

-- 
Brian Charles Kohn             E-MAIL: att!hoqax!bicker  (bicker@hoqax.ATT.COM)
Poet of "Quality"
    'Hope, not fear, is the most positive advocate of action.' - S.R. Lawhead
                   Stamp Out "SO": "RP" = "Romantic Partner"
From: drburne@eos.ncsu.edu (DALE ROBERT BURNETT)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Pre-breakup vibes
Date: 24 Jul 92 12:55:33 GMT
Reply-To: drburne@eos.ncsu.edu (DALE ROBERT BURNETT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Originator: drburne@c00453-313mn.eos.ncsu.edu


|  We had a couple of fights (which we have had before) and all of a
|suddent 
|   she decides she wants "to stop seeing me for a while" and wants
|"some time
|   to herself to make some decisions." In the meantime we go from a
|close 
|   caring relationship to absolutely nothing over night. I still care
|for her
|   very much and tried to talk to her about it but she refuses to talk
|about 
|   it and insists that I should respect her wishes.|
|
|   This has been going on for about a month now and I feel like I'm
|slowly 
|   going crazy. She won't talk about it, doesn't know what she wants
|from me,
|   won't see me and we barely talk at all anymore.


i think she is either setting him up for a break-up or trying to let
things die out because she is to chicken to say "i have another man."
  
| What would you do?

He could just keep doing what he is doing and make life miserable for 
her until she works up the guts to tell him the truth (no matter what it is,
another boyfriend or whatever.)  I am saying this strictly on the signs shown 
above 

i would dump her.
Xref: sparky alt.romance:10209 alt.romance.chat:15545 soc.couples:3415 soc.singles:20738
From: boardman@CS.ColoState.EDU (andrew boardman)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat,soc.couples,soc.singles
Subject: Rainbow Connections mailing list
Summary: regularly repeated post
Keywords: LDR mailing list
Date: 21 Jul 92 16:13:12 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: Colorado State University, Computer Science Department



"Rainbow Connection" mailing list
---------------------------------
Last Revised: 20 May 1992 

The "rainbow connection" mailing list was started by skye icaen
(aboard@statsun.stat.colostate.edu) as a means of bringing together people
involved in or interested in LDR's (Long Distance Relationships),
or NSLDR's (not-so-long distance relationships).

The list itself is maintained by Richard Muirden (ram@lionet.wesley.OZ.AU)
and all postings go via this machine. 

HOW TO JOIN/LEAVE THE LIST
--------------------------

Any alterations to the mailing list (ie: if you wish to join
it, or be taken off it, etc) are handled by Richard Muirden. 
All requests should NOT be sent to the list proper, but to
the following address:

	rainbow-request@lionet.wesley.OZ.AU

Requests will usually take a day (or less) to do, although
some consideration should be given for weekends.

COMMENTS/QUERIES/CRITS?   
----------------------

Comments/queries/crits about the list (what *is* it all about,
what do you hope to achieve by this, why are you doing
this anyway, and other riddles answered) can come to me -- 
at aboard@statsun.stat.colostate.edu. Please try and control
your urge to mail boardman@beethoven.cs.colostate.edu in every way.
This account is the only one with news access. All
other questions about how to do "all dat technical stuff"
can go to Richard. :)


HOW TO POST MESSAGES TO THE LIST:
--------------------------------

Posting to the mailing list is very easy, you simply compose your
mail and send it to:

	rainbow@lionet.wesley.OZ.AU

where it will be automatically forwarded to everyone on the list.
Usually you need your name on the list, if you want to read what
everyone else has to say. ;)

			*	*	*

Much thanks to Richard, for setting up the alias, and also
letting me maul and edit his message to produce this article.
Thanks also to the other people who've also helped in taking
a lot of this work off my hands, or offered to (you know who you
are, mjl, Brian. :), and of course, thanks to the {rough
estimate of} 98 people currently on the list, for joining,
and for not posting all at once to it.

		-- skye
Newsgroups: alt.romance