From: gpalo@digi.lonestar.org (Gerry Palo)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Lying to children
Date: 5 Jan 93 23:15:12 GMT
Organization: DSC Communications Corp, Plano, TX

In article <725993363snx@whizbang.wariat.org> mark@whizbang.wariat.org writes:
>
>In article <C03027.M71@encore.com> rcollins@encore.com writes:
>
> > 3.  [only applies to religious folk, not me] I especially wonder about
> > religious parents who, even after they just told their kids that Santa
> > was a big fat lie, expect their children to believe in another unseen
> > person (they know only through stories from parents and other adults)
> > for the rest of their lives.
>
>Amen.  :-)
>
>--
>Mark W. Schumann/3111 Mapledale Avenue/Cleveland, Ohio 44109-2447 USA
>Domain: mark@whizbang.wariat.org                      CIS: 73750,3527
>"We're not nuts or anything; I mean *I'm* not nuts." <whizbang!judy>

Here is how we do Santa Claus.

We are a Christian family, and we decided to cultivate the idea of
Santa Claus with our children.  We do this because we ourselves 
believe in him.  The key to it, I think, is that as our children
grow up, we continue to develop the thought of Santa Clause -
St. Nicholas - as a helper of Christ, who works with us in our
hearts to bring joy and goodness.  So each year, we talk a little
more to our children, the older ones hearing what they are ready
to hear.  A time will come when our eldest, now seven, will herself
participate in Santa's work, and she will not discover that Santa
is a "great big lie".  She will also understand that, while elves 
and angels are not really material beings, we human beings can
work with them through our hearts, yet when we are little -- and
even sometimes when we are big -- it is easiest to picture them
in bodily form that corresponds to their nature.

Obviously, this approach or one like it has everything to do with
ones own beliefs and orientation and the willingness to make the
whole theme a part of an ongoing spiritual education process.  I.e.
Santa Claus is very serious business.  I think that if I could not
approach it in this way, I would not tell them that Santa was really
coming, etc.

One thing we do is to limit the outer signs of Santa's activity. He
fills the stockings and decorates the tree on Christmas eve (We set
up a naked tree with three apples on Christmas eve and the children
find it decorated in the morning).  We do the cookies and milk and
jig saw puzzle too.  The other gifts are all from people.  And we
also celebrate Christmas for twelve days, opening only one or two 
gifts each day, surrounded by carols, so that the association with
Santa Claus is put into proper proportion.  Also during the twelve
days of Christmas, we make our little 3 wise men figures journey
across the room following the star, until on December 5 (tonight)
they reach the Christ Child.  Likewise, all through Advent, Mary and
Joseph and the Donkey have been journeying to Bethlehem, arriving
on Christmas Eve, and the shepherds appear, along with the baby,
at the manger on Christmas morning.  So, again, Santa Claus appears
as a helper in a much greater context.  When the time comes we will
also tell the children about the good Bishop of Myra (though we are
not Catholic, by the way).

Final note:  One thing I made sure to do was to tell our eldest as
soon as possible that Santa Claus is not a big fat person but 
"a jolly old elf" as the poem goes, who comes in "a miniature sleigh
and eight tiny reindeer".  That, I think, is a good picture of him.
As long as you understand about elves.

Just one way of doing it.

Gerry Palo (73237.2006@compuserve.com)