From: grub@bbs.draco.bison.mb.ca (Gordon Grieder)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.mac.advocacy
Subject: bickering
Summary: My Summary of the senseless arguing.
Keywords: next, mac, ibm, apple, idiots
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 14:49:51 GMT
Distribution: comp.sys.mac.advocacy
Organization: The Draco Unix System [BBS]


Seeing as EVERYBODY is bickering and arguing about who killed who,
may I throw in my 2 cents (that's 1.6 cents U.S.)




                                Happy Days 1993
                                ---------------
                              by Gordon R. Grieder
                          (grub@bbs.draco.bison.mb.ca)
                  If you open the shrink wrap containing this
                         disk, you agree to the terms....
 
[SETTING-MILWAUKEE, 1993.  THE GANG JUST GOT OFF THEIR TARDIS IN THIS YEAR
TO HAVE A DRINK AND SHOOT THE BEANS FOR A WHILE...]
 
[Fonzie saunters into Al's Diner smiling.  Ritchie, Postie, and Ralph are in
a booth]
 
{all the guys}     "Hi Fonz!"
 
{Fonzie}           "AAaaeeyyyy!  What's up, nerds?"
 
{Potsie}           "Gee Fonzie, we were talking about Ralph's dad wanting to
                   buy a computer for his optometrists' office...."
 
{Ralph}            "He wants to buy a PC clone.  Like a 486DX2-66."
 
[The Fonz looks shocked, walks over to the jukebox, and turns to the guys]
 
{Fonzie}           "Whoa!  You don't want a clone, do you, Malph?!"
 
{Ralph}            "Well I think that's what my father wants, Fonzie.  You
                   don't agree with that?"
 
[Fonzie measures up the jukebox and smacks it.  Some rotten Mel Torme starts
billowing from it]
 
{Fonzie}           "No Malph, I don't.   AAAaaaeeeyyy!!!!  PCs are for losers
                   and nerds, Malph.  And I know your ol' man ain't a nerd, 
                   so he must be a loser!  Boring old interface!  Windows
                   sucks.  AAAAAeeeeyyyyy!!!!"
 
{Ritchie}          "But Fonzie, Intel Crates work fine for millions of DOS,
                   Windows, and OS/2 users every day!"
 
{Potsie}           "And Jenny Piccolo's father sells them.  If you 'treat'
                   Jenny right, she'll even get you a deal, Fonzie!"
 
{Fonzie}           "Hey, Sit on it, Cunningham!  AAAAaaaeeeeyyyy!!!  And you
                   too, Webber!!!   AAAeeeyyyyy!!!"
 
[Fonzie checks out the jukebox again, and hits it.  In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
starts blasting out]
 
{Fonzie}           "You nerds gotta get a machine that opens up your mind!"
 
{Ralph-to Potsie}  "Man, he's going on another 'Mac Trip'"
 
{Fonzie, angrilly} "You got something to say, Malph, or do I gotta start
                   cracking heads if you don't listen?!   AAAAaaeeeyyy!"
 
{Fonzie, calmly}   "I know it's overpriced, like that motorcycle I ride,
                   but chicks go for a Mac.  Nothing turns off the heat
                   more than PC Clone in your bedroom... AAaaeeyy!"
 
{Potsie}           "What about the NeXT, Fonzie?"
 
[In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida stops cold.  All conversation in Al's comes to a
grinding halt.  Everybody watches the Fonz]
 
{Fonzie}           "What?!  A NeXT!!!!!  Next thing you know, you'll be
                   telling me to drive an offshore bike, you nerd putz!
                   That does it, Webber, we're gonna RUMBLE!!!!"
 
[as Fonzie lunges at Potsie, a grease fire starts up in the Kitchen.  Arnold
runs from the kitchen and out of the restaurant]
 
{Al}               "Everybody out, there's a fire!!!"
 
[everybody in the restaurant leaves, sans Ritchie, Potsie, Ralph and the
Fonz]
 
{Fonzie}           "Take that, you NeXT lover!"
 
[a violent scuffle ensues.  Oblivious of the smoke billowing from the
kitchen and filling the diner, they all succumb to smoke inhalation
and die]
 
 
The Moral of the Story:
-----------------------
Who gives a sh-- about what machine is better?  Arguing computers is like
arguing religion, politics, and abortion.  If people present facts,
fine, but foolish bickering and other nonsense is a waste of the
readers' time, and the net's resources...
 
END OF SELF-RIGHTEOUS TIRADE ;-)
 
AAAAAAEeeeyyyyy!!!!


+---------------------------+------------------------------------------------+
|grub@bbs.draco.bison.mb.ca :"...and I spake unto the prophet, 'Oh wise one, |
|          (Gordon Grieder) :show me the way that I might burden my computer |
|   in Winnipeg, MB, Canada :with the loads of twenty thousand camels!'  and |
|       (drinking his beer) :there was Windows..."          ---Grub 01:22:93 |
+---------------------------+------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: comp.sys.mac.advocacy