HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: was1+@pitt.edu (Scott A Wayne)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Something special in a LDR
Date: 12 Apr 92 16:27:50 GMT
Article-I.D.: unix.204784
Organization: University of Pittsburgh


	Hello,
		Here is what I have done for my SO.  Some things have already
been mentioned already, but I will mention them here also.

1)  I wrote a poem for Valentine's Day and put it in the lap of a Teddy Bear
    I bought.  I put the two in a box and surrounded the bear with tissue
    paper.  I then wrapped a red ribbon around the box and tied it in a bow.

2)  I sung "After the Lovin'" one night.  BTW, this song was originally done
    by Englebert Humperdink and is packed with meaning for a special night.

3)  Together, we began to write our autobiography of love.

I would also like some fresh ideas if anyone has them.  Please feel free to
send me E-Mail with your ideas or you can post a reply in this newsgroup.
Thanks in advance.

					-Wayne
 
-- 
* Wayne A. Scott            !            was1+@pitt.edu              *
* Electrical Engineering    !  "My opinion was paid for by the same  *
* University of Pittsburgh  !   blood that bought every American's   *
* Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania  !   opinion - our soldier's blood."      *
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Subject: How can you compile....
Reply-To: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 92 07:18:40 GMT


A list of romantic songs and not include anything by Chicago, and NOT
	include "Unchained Melody?"

	Forgive me: I'm a pop man, myself.

			Tom
-- 
"I know I'm going nowhere,			Tom Davidson, CWRU '95
"and anywhere's a better place to be."		IRCnick: Cupid	
		--Harry Chapin			MUSHnick: Nicodemus
From: v130qrub@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (TRICIA(ERNIE))
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Where did the romance go?
Date: 9 Apr 92 14:03:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Apr7.221328.172@cho006.cho.ge.com>, schwing_g@cho006.cho.ge.com writes...
>My question and personal thoughts on all the subjects...
> 
>I reaad this newsgroup originally because I thought I could find some people
>who felt like I did:
> 
>Life is wonderful and sharing it with someone special is even better...
>What happened to ROMANCE here???? All I hear is bitching about ..men this,
>women that, love sucks, I'm a nerd, BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO.......Bleah!
> 
>Romance is to me -- Walking by a quiet river at night, holding hands, enjoying
>the company of the person with you, love or no love...I certainly DO NOT have
>to be in love to be romantic...Dating is fun! Sure...I have my times when I am
>without anyone, but SO WHAT,....Someone always comes along and each time I
>learn more about myself and how I handle intrapersonal relationships...You all
>make me SICK!  Again, my question, WHAT HAPPENED TO ROMANCE HERE????????
> 
>I am sorry for scorching the earth with my flame, but I would like to hear
>more about romance and how wonderful it can be to have someone special in your
>life, if only for a short time...
> 
>Yours Truly
> 
>Greyson
> 
> 
>FLAME PROOF!  Merely a personal opinion!
> 
>:-} B-} ;-b
Dear Greyson,\
   I totally agree with you on this!! I started reading this newsgroup
about 4 months ago, and at the beginning it was great! Now I have found that
I am really getting sick of everyone complaining! Is there anyone who has
some romance left in them out there!
   I want to here about everyones romantic interludes out there!!!!

Tricia 
   "when there is nothing left to do.................
       .................smile, smile, smile!!!!
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
From: k053730@hobbes.kzoo.edu (Philip G. Sells)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Organization: Kalamazoo College, Chemistry Dept.
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 19:43:52 GMT


I was impressed with the thoughtfulness of Martin's post.  I've had only
one extended experience of having strong feelings for someone with an
SO.  It was probably the most draining emotional investment I've ever
made.  I think I may have learned from that that being honest about
one's feelings for someone else, whether attached or not, is absolutely
vital.  And not only that... but also to be open about them.  (One
doesn't necessarily follow from the other, after all. :-))  Martin's
story helped convince me of this even more.  I still wonder whether I've
learned it well enough... seems not, since I still have trouble opening
up to people I'm attracted to.  But I always feel I have to be quite
sure of what my feelings for someone are before I can act upon them.  Of
course, being the shy and indecisive fellow I am, this takes a while
:-).
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson)
Subject: Re: lying to oneself (was Re: Sanctity of relationships)
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle
Distribution: world,soc
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 92 16:08:29 GMT

In article <1992Apr9.180643.26083@hemlock.cray.com> robd@cray.com (Robert Derrick) writes:
>Stephen writes:
>: (Meloney Cregor) writes...
>: > I wrote:
>
>	[that it is difficult in the extreme to really lie to oneself,
>	 maybe close to impossible for a sane person]
>
>    [Meloney, and Stephen, et. al., disagree in the extreme!]
>
>Well, kids, [son, mom, sis, etc], I am far from being a Pollyanna, and
>yes, I have lied to myself, and perhaps you have too.  But did I believe
>it?  I Don't Think So!  Did I try to believe it?  You bet.  Could I have
>succeeded?  Maybe.  But every doggone time I take an honest look at
                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>myself, the lies stick out like hammered thumbs.  I just can't hide 'em.
 ^^^^^^
Stephen, it might be worth noting here that a lot of people
don't seem to take honest looks at themselves very often.  I had
a roommate recently who thought he was a good, kind, and sensitive
person--so why would he feel a need to take an honest look at himself?
The fact that he was putting his girlfriend thru hell, well, he felt
that the pain she was experiencing was due to her own personal problems.
He seemed genuinely shocked when the inconsistencies in his behaviour
were pointed out.  I would bet that he still believes that he is a
good, kind, and sensitive person, and that he dismisses all the nasty
stuff that I witnessed as some strange aberration.

>
>Really, how do you know that people who lie to themselves really believe
>it?  

A bit of semantic clarification seems called for here.  Generally a 
'lie' implies that the person telling the lie knows that it is untrue,
so by definition a person telling themself a lie doesn't believe it.
What most people mean by the expression 'lying to themselves' is that
people tell themselves something that isn't true AND they believe it.
Typically they can believe the lie because they don't go in for deep
self-examination; they just 'know' something.

-- 
  Dave Johnson

"You're not too smart, are you?  I like that in a man."
    --Kathleen Turner in Body Heat
From: S7985203@deimos.ucc.umass.edu ( )
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: a nice romantic date....
Date: 9 Apr 92 19:17:18 GMT
Article-I.D.: nic.1992Apr9.191718.12183
Organization: University of Massachusetts at Amherst
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.20

Hey, guys!  If you want to do something really romantic for your girlfriends,
do what my boyfriend did for my birthday...

He took me to a place where they rent out hot tubs...either for a half hour or
an hour.  We took the hour option!  It was a nice place in the mountains and we
got a private outdoor tub that looked out over the area.  It was beautiful and
really relaxing....I'll never forget the feeling of the wind on my face in
contrast to the hot water on my body.  I could have stayed there forever -
except my toes were getting wrinkley!  :)

Christy 
S7985203@tethys.ucc.umass.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: andy@pangea.Stanford.EDU (Andy Michael USGS Guest)
Subject: Re: a question  (AN ANWSER, Not even a smartass one: -))
Organization: Stanford Univ. Earth Sciences
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 18:35:10 GMT

In article <7APR199210461167@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov> aatresa@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline) writes:
>In article <1992Apr7.143438.24998@cbnewse.cb.att.com>, hjanssen@cbnewse.cb.att.com (hank janssen) writes...
>>From article <6APR199217385456@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov>, by afdenis@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison):
>>>>2)  Goes  out  on  a  date  more than once with the same person of the
>>>>opposite sex. 
>>> But dating within the same sex is ok ? :-)
>>I never said it was, but lets just face it, If the person would go out
>>on a date with the same sex. His or her partner would never be able to
>>win would they............?
Since you put a question mark on that:
Actually there are bi-people that are capable of maintaining monogamous
relationships with people of either sex when they meet someone they love.
Sort of like when single orientation people become monogamous when they
meet someone they love.  Of course, some bi-people, some single
orientation people (of either orientation) can't (or don't want to) become
monogamous.  It's more about personality, desires, and needs than orientation.

I know that someone is going to say that bi-people have desires that
can't be filled by one person.  But other people have desires that
their partners may not be able to fill either (for psychological
reasons rather than physical ones) too.  It comes down to which of our
sexual and other emotional desires is most important when these over
ones sexual desires or not when these conflicts arise.

>Not necessarily.  There *are* same-sex partners reading this group, I'm sure.

One major part of using the term SO (Significant Other) instead of
boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, life partner..... and MOTAS
(Member of the Appropriate Sex) instead MOTOS (Member of the Opposite
Sex)  is to allow people to discuss their relatonships as people
without the walls society puts up between the heterosexual and
homosexual communities.

If anyone wants to reveal their orientation that's fine, but it shouldn't
be necessary and we shouldn't assume that the problems we face are
different from the problems "they" face.

I know that SO can seem cold, but these are just postings.  I don't bother
with it in person because then the other people can easily see what
our sexual orientation is.

I've been reading, although posting less and less, to a.r for almost
2 years now and I am happy to say that the single most romantic suggestion
that I have gotten from a.r was from someone of the inappropriate sex
and the other orientation.

Andy
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: aatresa@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline)
Subject: Re: Love Sucks.....
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Yeah, *right* !
Date: 17 Apr 1992 08:22 EST  

In article <1992Apr17.031504.22099@news.iastate.edu>, twmn3@isuvax.iastate.edu writes...
>One things which I found out through out the years is that love sucks....
>I mean you can have any girl you want if you have alot of money to dump
>but no girl will stick to you if you have only pennies to spend. In this
>money craze world.... Money rules over love.
>				Taken from "Lovers are suckers."
> 
>Tell me what you people think of this passage.
>						Tommy.

How do you type "raspberries"?  PHTTTTTT!!!!!

I don't buy it...I'm a "cheap" date.  And I want no comments on that from 
the peanut gallery.  

I am perfectly content going for a walk in the park, maybe a picnic that I 
make up.  Watching a video at home works for me.  None of these activities 
takes a lot of money.
>						
-- Teresa

		Life -- just for the FUN of it!!!!
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
From: jpalmer@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (John D Palmer)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 22:31:59 GMT

In article <1992Apr7.005929.11543@vax5.cit.cornell.edu> rnjx@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
>The question is this.  Is it ever morally and/or ethically O.K. to actively
>try to woo one member of an existing relationship from that relationship so
>that you may start one with her/him?  Under what circumstances?  How about
>pursuing someone who's engaged?  Where do you all draw the line?  If it isn't
>O.K., would you still do it anyway?
>Jeff

      Hmmm.  To try to draw someoen from a relationship tends to make me
think of trying to 'buy' love. . . no, not with money or gifts or ANYTHING,
but it makes love into something to be  'won'.  And I don't think that's
the way REAL love is.
 
       If I knew a girl who was happy in a relationship and would be 
happier in a relatinship with me (her choice, not mine) great.

      If she would be happier with me, but doesn't REALIZE this, what
kind of egotistical jerk am *I* to be saying what makes her happier?
 
     If she was unhappy in the realtionship, I would encourage her to break
it off. . .but NOT for the purpose of going out with me.  (I might let her
know she wouldn't HAVE to starve for a date for saturday night if she did
break it off, however. . . )
 
      If she then decided she would be happier with me, I would carefully
think about whether I might have suckered myself into a rebound relationship,
a sure way to heartbreak, and THEN decide if I would go out with her.
 
      Morals doen't really enter into it because the basic rule  of 
relationships is "Until solid, lasting promises are made, love continues
while it continues, and goes when it goes"  Without promises (IMHO, wedding
vows or better) love is 'only' a gift, NEVER a 'right'.
 
      Of course, I'm too tired to make this argument more rigorous.  Sigh.
 
                                         John


-- 
"Love is cool; I mean, like, really cool.  Like, the coolest thing in
the universe, where, like, people open up inside and show the world how
they feel, and they ain't afraid someone's gonna laugh because they, like,
love themselves already!"  --Personality 42, a generic 60's philosopher 
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Friday, 10 Apr 1992 12:16:06 EDT
From: <RJD118@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Nice Guy problems
Distribution: usa

<all these are MHO's...>
Don't stop being sensitive and giving advice...though I hope the advice is not
involved with her guy problems. That is one area to steer well clear of, my
friend. NEVERNEVERNEVER tell her to stop seeing someone, to keep seeing
someone, etc. Expressing disapproval of A) how he treats her, and B) his
general attitude, are acceptable. But let her make her own decisions.

But, I digress. You can't sit back and wait for the magic to happen. You gotta
be a little agressive here. There seems to be an intangible point where each
person feels "friendship with this person is more important than anything
more serious could become". In my experience, if by the fifth date neither
of us has made a pass, friendship is all that is going to happen. And the
fifth date is the maximum...

Now, there are other factors to consider. The above limitation is basically
considering limited social interaction, i.e. not knowing each other well
before the dating begins. Previous contact changes the limitation, and
which way depends on the people involved...

So, next time you meet a girl you are interested in, scoop together some nerve
early on in the relationship, and get a bit serious about wanting to spend
more time with her. And if at first you don't succeed, try, try again....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I_________________________I         Redneck!    The Official Lumberjack
I\***********************/I                     and Woodgatherer of the
                                                          RFA
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Subject: Re: LOVE sucks. No question about it.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
Date: 10 Apr 1992 10:47 EST  

In article <4556@m1.cs.man.ac.uk>, rick@uk.ac.man.cs writes...
>In article <1992Apr3.003812.54152@cc.usu.edu>, slsg6@cc.usu.edu writes:
>|> OK so LOVE sucks...
>|> NO-LOVE sucks even more...
> 
>A great musical talent sang ...
> 
>"Better to have lost in love than never to have loved at all"

I heard it ...

"It's better to have loved a short woman, than to never have loved a'tall."

:-)


>RICK DIPPER, Unix Systems Administrator                       rick@uk.ac.man.cs
 ^^^^^^^^^^^

So, are you the `little' one or the `big' one ? :-)

-- Stephen 

(The only two valid e-mail addresses from now on are ...)
afdenis@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov,  afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov
.. boring .sig follows, press n to skip it.

	Never regret a *choice*.  Rather, save your regrets for the
	choices you *didn't* make.

Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: greenidd@CS.ColoState.EDU (danielle greenidge)
Subject: Re: End of Story (Was Re: OVER EXCITED *8)  )
Date: Mon, 06 Apr 1992 20:45:37 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Computer Science Department

In article <1992Apr03.045456.18065@yuma.acns.colostate.edu> andrew@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Andrew Boardman) writes:
	*cough* Well, I guess it's my turn. After a traumatic 5.5 months
	(gosh, only 5 months?? :) I've finally made it.
>
		-- skye, formerly skye@extro.ucc.su.oz.au,
		now of aboard@statsun.stat.colostate.edu. Please
		do not reply to the email address shown in the
		article.
>
About time you got here, skye!!! I've been bugging Satan about your moving
here every chance I get. Email me so we can get together & double-date!!! Oh
and CONGRATS!!!!!!

>
--danikat

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man asked God, "How long is a million years to you?"    God said, "A second."
Then he asked God, "How much is a million dollars to you?" God said, "A penny."
Slyly the man asked, "Could I have a penny?" and God replied, "In a second...."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
danikat  is  Danielle Greenidge      ||        greenidd@handel.cs.colostate.edu
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>


Xref: sparky alt.romance:6847 soc.singles:10828 soc.couples:2005
From: userisra@mts.ucs.ualberta.ca (Mark Israel)
Subject: Re: Swedish Dating/Courtship Customs?
Originator: lnds@medievil.biochem.ualberta.ca
Organization: University of Alberta, Edmonton, Canada
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 07:59:28 GMT

In article <GOBBEL.92Apr3170750@cogsci.ucsd.edu>, gobbel@cogsci.ucsd.edu (Randy Gobbel) writes:

> Pardon me for asking what may be a silly question, but can anyone
> enlighten me about how people start relationships in Sweden?  Things
> like: what are the (approximate, of course) cultural norms for when and
> how to initiate physical contact, little customs like giving flowers,
> etc., and that sort of thing in general.  I'm sure the individual
> variation is large, as it is here, but I just want to get a vague idea
> of the situation.  I've recently (very recently) started dating a
> Swedish woman who's visiting for several months.  She seems quite
> wonderful, but I'm feeling more awkward than I ordinarily would, because
> it's the first time I've ever dated a non-American, and I'm afraid of
> doing something that might be misconstrued, and conversely I worry that
> if I hold back too much, it might be taken as an indication of lack of
> interest.  So, any answers?

    Ask *her*.  She'll have the answers, and she'll probably be flattered
that you asked.  (The two of you are on *your* home turf, after all.)

userisra@mts.ucs.ualberta.ca		Mark Israel
Instinctive grammatical moralizer.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ddose@oregon.uoregon.edu (David C Dose)
Subject: Re: Who cut the Cheese? the 70's file
Organization: University of Oregon
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 17:43:45 GMT

What about these shows:

"The Dukes of Hazzard"  I really liked Catherine Bach.

"Room 222"  What was her name.. Karen Valentine?

And that detective show with the parrot.

"Hawaii 5-O"

"Streets of San Francisco"

"Nightstalker"

"Barretta"

"Mission Impossible"

"Wild Kingdom"

"Newhart"

"Eight is Enough"

"Columbo"

"Nancy Drew"

"Hart to Hart"

"McCloud"



---
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<*>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
David C. Dose             ddose@oregon.uoregon.edu                "The Doseman"

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground. What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.   - Pink Floyd
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>*<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: robd@cray.com (Robert Derrick)
Subject: Re: lying to oneself
Distribution: world,soc
Date: 10 Apr 92 19:39:16 CDT


Hi Meloney,

: I wrote:
: 
: >Well, Meloney, I get the impression that you perceive me to be quite
: >young and perhaps overly optimistic.  Whether you mean it or not, I
: >take it as a compliment, and offer a hearty thank you.
: 
: Age is not always a matter of chronology, it is a matter of life experience
: as well.  If you have never encountered such people, then I envy you and
: you should consider yourself fortunate.

I do consider myself fortunate.  But I once felt exactly as you appear
to feel now.  Ah, I was self-deceived!?!?  No, I always felt, deep inside,
that I was wrong.  Now, deep inside, I do not feel that I am wrong, nor
neither that I am right.  What a wonderful feeling!  And so I am at
peace.

: >I'll tell you why I feel strongly about it.  If a person can be said to
: >be truly lying to themselves, then they thru some twisted set of
: >rationalizations can absolve themselves of responsibility for their
: >actions.  That is precisely why we try to lie to ourselves.  If you
: 
: Bingo.
: But, there are *indeed* _some_  who believe their own lies.  One cannot be
: so lenient as to exclude the pathologicals.  We are all pathological in
: some respect or other.  Some more than others.  Some serious, some not.
: Nobody gets out of here without being a little fucked up.

This nearly left me speechless.  I laughed out loud, a good hearty laugh.

And I immediately thought of something that Laotse said:

	When the highest type of person hears the truth,
	  They try hard to live in accordance with it.
	When the mediocre hear the truth,
	  They seem to be aware and yet unaware of it.
	When the lowest type hear of truth,
	  They break into loud laughter --
	If it were not laughed at, it would not be truth.


Meloney, thanks for sharing your feelings, which I never did doubt were strong.

rob derrick
From: P.G.McTimoney@newcastle.ac.uk (Phil McTimoney)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Ed and Teresa (New Insight !)
Date: 15 Apr 92 20:03:42 GMT
Organization: University of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, NE1 7RU

Hey, has anyone considered starting alt.ed&teresa ??????

Phil

*******************************************************************************
********************************  Philly Mac  *********************************
*****             A frood who really knows where his towel is             *****
*******************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples