From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: "Love" Triangle
Date: 21 Aug 92 23:03:06 GMT
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California

In article <1992Aug21.153906.20265@cco.caltech.edu> hough@seismo.gps.caltech.edu (Susan Hough) writes:
>
>Well, I'm glad that you guys are so confident in your ability to effectively
>provide support/guidance to a neighbor, but some families really are
>in need of professional help and there are social welfare agencies where
>people are trained to handle this sort of thing.  I'm a bit surprised
>at the huge outcry against the suggestion of contacting authorities.
>"Trigger happy in calling social services"?  Sure there are some 
>nightmare stories about children who were taken away because someone saw
>them being spanked or because some doctor overreacted to an injury, but
>I really don't believe this kind of thing is epidemic.  If anything,
>I sometimes regret the one case where I was tempted to make a report,
>and didn't. 
>

I think you misunderstand the purpose of Child Welfare Agencies.  They are
terribly understaffed so their only true function has become to intervene when
children's lives are endanger.  There are enough very serious child abuse cases
out there to more than fill the agent's schedules.  I don't really see that
we have funded these agencies to deal with "helping neighbors who think that
a mother needs a support group".

Also, because they DO deal with such serious cases everyday, they may see 
negligence where none is there.  There IS a very real tendency among these
agencies to see guilt because a call was made.  If a call is made, and even if
the welfare agent finds NOTHING to substantiate the claim, that parent's record
is permanantly in the computer bank.  Is that where you want YOUR name?

So, before calling child welfare, consider whether this case is serious enough
that a child welfare agent might not more wisely use his time intervening in a
serious abuse case.  Because there isn't time for all cases to be investigated.

>I never said that the parents weren't well-intentioned or were being 
>deliberately harmful.  You don't have to call a social welfare authority
>and report gross negligance--you could just call and explain the situation
>as you see it.  Who knows?  Maybe they would recognize the signs of a 
>mother who is overwhelmed and offer a Head Start program for the
>pre-schoolers, or a support group for the mother, or maybe even a person 
>to come to the house to help out.

But that is NOT the purpose of the agency.  It is not funded to provide that
kind of support.  There are other charitable community agencies that might
have those sorts of resources.  I'd suggest that if you think the mother needs
a mother's support group, why not find one in your community and recommend it
to her personally.  Think of all those tax dollars you'll be saving!

We hear a lot of complaints about how we no longer have communities that care
about one another.  I think that such a community (and I am blessed to have
moved into one) takes EFFORT on everyone's part.  One part of that effort is
finding out what's happening in the home of the kids your kids play with.  
Another part of that effort is finding what resources are available and 
turning other parents on to them.

I see one and only one way of breaking out of the "tax us more, give more money
to the government and let it take care of everyone's needs so I don't have
to bother"  mentality we are currently burdened with.  And that is to stop
depending on government agencies to do everything for us.  It is MUCH harder
to take an interest in a family and help out than it is to call in Uncle
Sam.  But, Uncle Sam is dieing, folks.  He's flat broke, mostly inefficient
and plagued with ailments.

>Sheesh!  The concern here is to try to help out these kids.  Even if
>a neighbor is good-hearted and able to provide a surrogate family for
>kids who are being ignored at home, it isn't going to make up entirely for
>the situation at home.  Helping your neighbor is fine, but helping may
>sometimes include recognizing cases where they need more help than
>you can provide.
>
>Sue 

Yes, but the way to help kids out isn't to get government involved in their
lives.  In general, government is not a cure-all for every human ill.  And
I think minor levels of bad parenting fall into the area for which government
has no cure.  Far better to set up support networks withing your neighborhood, 
church, community, etc.  and let the underfunded, overburdened government 
agencies take care of the really BIG problems. 

Okay, I'll step off my soap box (for now).


-- 
Judy Leedom Tyrer

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"	- William Blake
Newsgroups: misc.kids