From: jgacker@news.gsfc.nasa.gov (Paul Hubanks)
Subject: B&B: Wednesday inaction
Organization: Goddard Space Flight Center
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 18:12:56 GMT


*****  Your valiant B&B updater will be off-line all of next week *****
***************************  That is all *****************************


     Whole lotta cryin' goin' on...


     Wednesday on "The Berld and the Boostiful"

     SNEAKY-FEET

     Felicia attempts to sneak out past Stephanie, but is
foiled when she meets the mailman at the door and signs for
a delivery.  Stephanie says "were you sneaking out to see
Zach?" and Felicia says "No, mother, I was going to work."
Stephanie sees right through her and tells her wayward
daughter that Zach and his Dad are the baddest news in town!
How can you hang around with guys who almost got you raped,
pillaged, and looted?  I suspect that Zach probably voted
for Perot, too!  Wrong, Mom, he wrote in Don King for
President -- he likes his hairstyle.  Felicia insists that
mother is still treating her like the bratty kid she was
back in London.  I'm grown-up now, Mom, and I can make my
own immature decisions!  Stephanie thinks that the
rebellious act needs some counseling, and suggests Taylor.
Felicia nixes and says her head's on straight.  Stephanie
shakes her head and says "My powr sweet little innocent
baybee!  When will you learn?"  As a ploy, she invites
Felicia to stay for dinner, but Felicia says she prefers
burgers and fries to pate de foie gras, and gets out of the
mansion.

     YOU'VE GOT A GOOD HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, HONEY -- AND
A LOT UNDERNEATH 'EM, TOO

     After Felicia exits, Taylor enters.  Stephanie notes a
new do, and Taylor says she had to do something to keep her
spirits up while Ridge tours Europe.  Wanta stay for dinner?
Stephanie asks.  Taylor takes her up on the offer but has to
go and change first.  Stephanie tells her about the tiff
with Felicia -- she can't get her away from that demon-
spawn, her boyfriend, and the lowlife he has for a father.
Taylor asks if she should talk to Felicia.  Stephanie says
that wouldn't work.  Taylor says she thinks Felicia would be
perfect for her brother (boy, they're driving the humor in
this situation into the ground, aren't they?)  She goes to
the door to go get changed, and checks the mail.  @#&^&*($#!
Taylor says.  What's the problem? an alarmed Stephanie asks.
Clinton Won!  But that's not all.  She shows Stephanie the
cover of "Fashion Weekly", with a shot of Ridge and Brooke
on the front page.  Is it a problem?  Steph asks.  No, no
problem, not at all -- then she breaks down and says "Yes,
it is a problem!"  Stephanie hugs her.  Taylor admits that
she should never have let Ridge go to Europe with Brooke.
Stephanie points out that Brooke wants what Taylor has, and
will do anything to get it.  She'll need implants.  Luckily 
she can't do everything, Stephanie notes, seeing as she's 
8 1/2 months preg.  She could invite him to induce labor, 
Taylor points out, after all, it could be his baby!  
	Taylor is in tears (fairly good emotive skills here)
wishing she hadn't let Ridge and Brooke tour together.  
Stephanie tells her not to blame herself, but to
blame Brooke.  I don't want to lose him!  an anguished
Taylor cries.

     *** We now bring you an editorial comment by a jaded
old- school columnist from somewhere east of the Hudson
River and somewhere to the right of Pat Buchanan: ***
     "It used to be that when two parties who professed both
undying love and sexual interest in one another decided to
move to the next rung on the relationship ladder, they went
to Dadsy and Mum-mum and asked to be hitched in a ceremony
costing only a bit more than the Louisiana Purchase.  The
traditional way.  But now, as portrayed in the "California
Lifestyles of the Rich and Unemployed", it seems that when
there's a modicum of romantic interest and an animalistic
urge to get nekkid, two individuals seem to think that
sharing the same address is like a pact with the Pope!  Why
is it that the simple act of putting your underwear in
adjacent dresser-drawers is now seen as having the same
level of commitment as the former circumstance of delivering
50 head of cattle to the bride's father and putting two
extra gold rings in her earlobes?  Oh, how I long for the
old days, when divorces were tough to get, men had a few
mistresses on the side, and alcohol was more than something 
just used for rubdowns and a swab before getting a flu
shot."
     We now return you to our regularly-scheduled sin.

     ZACH AND FELICIA CHOOSE BATH TOWELS

     Sly asks Zach how he's feeling, and Zach says good.
It's been a good year.  Sly asks if a year ago he thought
he'd be running a bar and involved with a lady.  Nope, but I
ain't complaining.  Matter of fact, I'm thinking about
making change.  Good, I got some quarters, Sly says.  No, I
mean making A change.  I got hit with this gestalt-thing
last night, it was like a revelation, a proofecy, the thing
that Ties It All Together.  What?  Sly asks.  Just then, a
steaming Felicia shows up and says her mother treats her
like a kid!  I feel like moving out!  That's just what I was
going to suggest, Zach says.  To where?  Felicia replies.
Oh, we could go to SanFran, or Santa Cruz.  That far?  WE?
Yeah, we.  So you don't have to go around town carrying your
underwear in a paper bag ("About Last Night").  Felicia acts
as if Zach has just re-set the Hope Diamond in a ring, and
says "Yes!  Where?"  Zach says there's a paper on the bar,
let's see what's available for under $100,000.  Look, a
storefront in central L.A.  Needs windows and doors.
Felicia asks what made him decide this.  One, he wants to be
with her, and two, Jack and Stephanie are becoming a major
item and we probably don't want to get involved in that.
Because if we do get involved in that, Stephanie will find
out that Dad and I were involved in a lot of other things,
like gambling and murder, and she'll want to get uninvolved
with Dad as fast as possible, and that's likely to lead to
further involved and convoluted storylines!  And we wouldn't
want that, would we?  As long as that's not the only reason,
Felicia says, expressing an interest in Harry Hamlin's
house, which appears to be for sale.

     THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR

     Macy continues the plead/beg/c'mon baby script with
Karen, but Karen, obviously troubled, decides to rebut.
It's a question of "who do you trust?" she says.  Oops,
wrong rebuttal.  Karen tries to defend her position, the
missionary, to Macy.  You're obviously inexperienced, Macy
counters.  Karen tries to justify her interest in Thorne,
saying that her feelings of love for Thorne should count
too.  Macy gives her credit, but putting marriage and
feelings in the balance, marriage ought to carry more
weight, like your thighs.  It was done in a church, before
God!  That's not relevant here, Karen says.  Your marriage
was over when Thorne invited me in.  No it wasn't, we agreed
to be separated.  Macy tells Karen that she has the power to
let their marriage grow or she can destroy it.  The appeal
is denied.  Face facts, Macy, you're beating a dead horse, I
think you should be the one to move out!  The "nice girl"
tactic having been rebuffed, Macy "lays" it on the line --
I'm married to him, Karen, and this morning I gave Thorne
what a married man needs!  Wha wha wha what?  Karen says,
but Macy deigns not to go into blow-by-slow explicit,
excruciating, exciting, exhilirating details and 
gets out of the office.  Karen is clearly seeing that her 
position is precarious as we exeunt.

     Tune in tomorrow, when we could possibly hear Stephanie
say:
     "Felicia, I've got an idea.  Why don't you call up that
nice boy you used to date -- what was his name?  Jake
something?"

     Jim "was Nicole Kidman in a movie called "Dead Calm"?"
Acker
     jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov