HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mzraly@ra.cs.umb.edu (Michael S Zraly)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Man mauled by lion
Date: 7 Jan 93 08:56:12 GMT
Organization: UMass/Boston

pky@fmg.bt.co.uk (Pete Young) writes:
>
>What peeves me about the episode is that the guy, apparently a paranoid
>schitzophrenic, was running around in the the big wide world, instead of
>being in a appropriate institution where he could be properly looked
>after. This of course is a direct consequence of our beloved
>government's policy on mental health, which is to close down all the
>asylums and turn the nutters loose on the community. Where they are free
>to starve, climb into lions cages or whatever.

Thereby providing the rest of us with some amusement.  What use would
a paranoid schizophrenic be locked up in an institution?  There he'd sit,
twiddling his thumbs and taking tests so graduate psychology students
can write their theses about him.  After he stopped entertaining the
staff, they'd declare him competent and launch him into the great wide
world where he would either (a) revert to his old para-schizo self, or
(b) pretend to be cured of his disorder and live a totally boring and
meaningless life.

How can you be so cruel as to wish THAT upon your fellow man?  Where's
your sense of humanity, man!

>I'm looking forward to the day when one of these nutters climbs over the
>fence into the houses of parliament and throws some raw hand-grenades to
>the occupants.

That's better.  They you can set off fireworks on every anniversary.

-- 
Mike Zraly		Scorn and defiance; slight regard, contempt,
mzraly@cs.umb.edu	And any thing that may not misbecome
			The mighty sender, ...
				-- HENRY V: Exeter to the Dauphin
From: zursch@whizkid.wpd.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: A rat is a pig-headed moron is a ...
Date: 12 Jan 93 18:44:08 GMT
Reply-To: zursch@whizkid.wpd.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide)
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

In article <30102@castle.ed.ac.uk>, B A Page writes:

>Do I win 10 pounds?

Where would you put them if you did? 

JZ
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Shoe goo
Date: 9 Jan 1993 02:23:50 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 10001@ac.dal.ca, 01sybok@ac.dal.ca () writes:
> I figure I'll be way ahead of most fathers when I do procreate.
                                             ^^^^

Don't count your chickens before they're laid, Mikey.

---
Brian Scearce                                           bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
              The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
                  "You can't fit the truth on a t-shirt, man."
                                 "That'd fit."

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com ( Phil Mueller )
Subject: Re: Telephone & other miscellaneous peeves
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 17:26:58 GMT

In article <C0558A.Dw7@acsu.buffalo.edu> dmarcher@acsu.buffalo.edu (Dave Archer) writes:
>
>
>AbsurdPeeve: Just saw on CNN that they're splitting
>Czechoslovakia into two contries.  One called Czech, and
>one called Slovakia.  I'm not making this up, but to me,
>this sounds like one of those things that Dave Barry swares
>he's not making up.  I suppose it'll save on having to
>reprint maps of Europe AGAIN, just cross out the o, and
>draw a line between Czech & slovakia.  If it was April 1st,
>I'd think CNN had a sense of humour or something.
>

Peeve: Ignoramuses.  Firstly, it's the "Czech Republic" and "Slovakia"
Secondly, they were two countries before being swallowed up by the Austrians
and Russians.  After the war ( WWI ) those wonderful Western peacemakers
started drawing mostly-abritrary lines though Eastern [sic] Europe and made
it into one country.  They're just correcting that error.


-- 
Phil Mueller                  Telephone:  (205) 730-3231
Intergraph Corporation        FAX number: (205) 730-3453
Mailstop: GD3000              Internet: mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com
Huntsville, AL 35894-0001     UUCP address: bogus.dont.use
From: pky@fmg.bt.co.uk (Pete Young)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Telephone peeves
Date: 7 Jan 93 10:49:19 GMT
Organization: British Telecom
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Rick Gordon (rickg@netcom.com) wrote:

: Uh, Pete, there's a Mr. DeVito on line two, and he's pissed.  Something
: about royalties due or something.  Can you take this one?

That's OK Rick, tell him I'll see him in court!

I guess I should have made it plain that I wasn't claiming ownership,
merely illustrating how effective it was. Anyway, isn't stuff like that
in the public domain? I don't know where I heard it, but it certainly
wasn't from a Mr. DeVito (whoever he might be!).

ObPeeve: How about this for a telephone peeve? One of my colleagues has
just telephoned the French Embassy in London. The enquiry number is
a recorded message which says ``ring this number''. ``This number''
turns out to be an 0898 number, which is a premium rate service (ie
pretty expensive, and no flames please, I have no personal control over
the charges that BT makes for anything).

He rings the 0898 number and is treated to a horrendously slow voicemail
announcement in French, then English, which takes several minutes to 
answer a simple query about visas. Many minutes longer than a
conversation with a person would have taken, even a French person.

It would have been much cheaper, and probably quicker to write to them.
In fact, it would probably still be quicker if he'd delivered the
message himself, riding backwards on a unicycle, juggling
ObHandGrenades.



-- 
  ____________________________________________________________________
  Pete Young        	  pky@fmg.bt.co.uk        Phone +44 473 227151
 "Cast your bread upon the waters and you will get back... soggy bread"
From: okes@essex.ac.uk (Simon Oke)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: My First Car Peeve
Date: 10 Jan 93 15:28:01 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Essex, UK.
In-reply-to: drieux@wetware.com's message of 9 Jan 93 22:37:27 GMT

In article <1993Jan9.223727.10234@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
|
| ps: Technical Question: how can I get rid of the
| remaing tread in an effective manner?
|
A few good bouts of wheel-spinning should do the trick.

--
Simon Oke, 3rd year Computer Science
undergraduate at the University of Essex, UK.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bobm@boo.uucp (Bob Marrow)
Subject: Re: What new innovation, software or products do you want to see?
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 09:09:27 GMT
Organization: Who?  Me?
Followup-To: alt.peeves

In article <sehari.726196822@lisa.ecss.iastate.edu> and hundreds of others,
sehari@iastate.edu (Babak Sehari) babbles:

>the moderator of the moderated newsgroups, such as rec.humor.funny, should 
>decide if they want this posting in their newsgroup.

Peeve:  This probably _will_ be posted in rec.humor.funny

-- 
Bob Marrow             DoD#0632
bobm%boo@pacbell.com
bobm@netcom.com        ICBM: 38 0 22 N / 122 2 20 W
From: malc@pyramid.unr.edu (Malcolm L. Carlock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Holiday Baking Peeve
Date: 11 Jan 93 21:04:47 GMT
Organization: Xinaian Tourist Bureau

Raisin cookies.  The damn things look like chocolate chip cookies, but
when you bite into one you get a mouthful of shriveled, dried-insect-like
raisins.  Phoo.  Phooeeee.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Man mauled by lion
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 93 17:32:35 GMT

In article <C0BwG1.JzJ@dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
writes:
>> A man is seriously ill in hospital after climbig into the lion's
>> enclosure at London Zoo. This is not, in itself, peeveworthy, unless
>> you're the individual in question,
>
>Not peeveworthy? I find it hugely peeveworthy, mainly because various
>people had apparently 'phoned the zoo demanding that the Vicious Killer
>Man-Eating Lion be destroyed. Never mind the fact that the guy who got
>attacked was apparently a nutcase and had had to climb two high fences
>(presumably with "Danger - Vicious Killer Lions, Do Not Climb This Fence"
>or similar written on them), and had spent the previous half-hour throwing
>raw chickens at them to get them in the mood for a bit of carnage. Yet,
>apparently these folk want to destroy the lions for the heinous crime
>of...being lions. If you throw raw meat to a lion then climb into the cage
>with it, you get what you're asking for.

I think the dumbest human-animal interaction idea was one I heard a few
years ago, at Ana Nuevo Beach.  Ana Nuevo is a beach in Northern CA near
Pescadero, where Elephant Seals come to mate and give birth, every year.
Apparently they REALLY do it right, eating tons of fish, putting on tons
of fat and then simply fucking for an entire month.

Well, when I was at the beach in about 1987, getting a tour of the place
along with some fellow hikers, one of the things our guide mentioned
was that some students had volunteered to disguise themselves as female
seals, for one reason or another (I refuse to consider the possibilities).
Apparently, some of the physical logistics of being mounted by a 2 ton
elephant seal in a mating frenzy had eluded them.

     don

p.s.  Then there are the people who post in rec.pets.herp that carnivorous
      animals, such as cats and pythons, ought to be converted to
      vegetarianism....
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Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Re: The South (was: Re: Peeves about Teenagers)
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<16B4C92A3.ALI00BAW@UNCCVM.UNCC.EDU>
	<1993Jan6.174540.10485@nsscmail.att.com>
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 21:17:49 GMT

In article <1993Jan6.174540.10485@nsscmail.att.com> cel@nsscmail.att.com (clayton EDward LEIHY iii) writes:

[geoweenie stuff deleted]

<   Ed (seems like everybody has an idea where The Midwest is...  where's
<   The Mideast???) Leihy


	Beiruit, obviously. At least, that's what my friends
	from Egypt, Syria and Cyprus tell me.


ObPeeve: DamnYankees who move to Atlanta and try to speak
	 with a southern accent; I met a guy in the DFW
	 airport whose speech was the most Gawd-awful mix
	 of Noo Joisy nasal and Geogia mush-mouth.....
	 and he had the gall to claim that Tejanos (Mexican-
	 descent Texicans) "talk funny"!


Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.religion.computers
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Right idea, wrong complaint
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 20:59:16 GMT

larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:
]
] It peeves me greatly to see "OS/2" on the gridiron surface during a bowl
] game (Fiesta Bowl I think).
] 
] I'm wondering what IBM had to pay for it. No wonder the sonsofbitches are
] losing money and laying off people.
] 
] Peeve: Fucking Madison Avenue, anyway. Assuming some computer nerd
]        watching the football game will see it and rush out and buy OS/2
]        Monday.

Well the real point of interest is the Grand Hope IBM
has for what it views as its 'market audience' - namely
and towit a collection of persons with large thick 
foreskulls, and small cranial cavities that are interested
in a voyueristic approach to their latent homosexual 
inclinations, which they have as yet not come to a
satisfactory means of resolving.

Not that I would wish to suggest that the union of the
set of Persons who Would USE OS/2 and watch football is
limited solely by the common factor of dog paddelling
in the shallow end of the gene pool....

But I guess you had really already understood that
minor sub_text of the subject, and did not have
enough bytes in your ring buffer of a brain
to retain it long enough to post same. 

If I can be of any further assistance, feel more
than free to call upon my services.

Yours Truly

ciao
drieux


-- 
Modern Day Problems:

"lets get linear, I want to get linear, linear"
				Olivia Newton Algegra
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: The Multi-cultural scourge
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 22:34:59 GMT

In <lkh0ibINNgeq@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs 
before cooking) writes:

>So one of the things handed to me on the 24th was the "Politically
>Correct Dictionary and Handbook."  For the life of me, I can't figure
>out if the book is intended to be a farce or not.  It never comes
>right out and says the only things that can be insulted are white male
>people.  Other than the examples, it appeared to be a very
>matter-of-fact book.  The examples were pretty odd: they were
>suggesting using free-roaming as a PC alternative to wild, and the
>example they provided was "Sarah was mauled by a free-roaming boar."

I think that it's a pretty safe guess that the whole thing is very 
tongue-in-cheek.  The example I remember is "Adolf Hitler, WHO JUST HAPPENED TO
BE the murderer of 6,000,000 people." [emphasis not added]  I believe that the
book also uses PC terms to sympathetically describe John Wayne Gacy.

The best definition, though, is the one for "carbocentrism", or discrimination
against silicon-based life forms. 

>*If* I thought anyone would be taking the book
>seriously, it might make me ill.

The next time you run into Jonathan Swift, ask him what people thought of "A 
Modest Proposal"...

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
From: jpoller@novell.com (Contents may have settled during Shipping)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: I Don't Care
Date: 6 Jan 93 22:35:39 GMT
Organization: The Electoral Collage

Rick Gordon, Curmudgeon Emeritus, Alt. Peeves University for the Excess
Shows a large move towards the all too large lobby of senior citizens
known commonly as Senile Old Geezers, by saying:

=> In article <1ifdkhINNnjl@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>
	geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM writes:
=> 
=> >>Peeve1:  Is it just me, or has this Amy Fisher business gone on far too long?
=> >
=> >Didn't she play Princess Leia (sp?) in Star Wars?
=> 
=> Hardly.  That was Amy *Irving* (Steven Spielberg's influence over George
=> Lucas is legendary).

Well, you do get a 1/2 point.  Amy Irving and Steven Spielberg are
linked.

Princess Leah was played by Carrie Fisher.

Peeve:  Amy Fisher being called a Lolita.  The facts, Ma'am - Amy
Fisher is a whore.  Or was.  Before being incarcerated, she was a
Prostitute.  Joey Buttafuco was her 'john' -- one of her customers.

=> Or was that Princess Daisy?

Isn't she seing dagwood's dog, recently seen in the company of Goofy?

=> >Geoff Miller			+ + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
=> 
=> -- 
=> Rick Gordon      | "Loud is good." 
=> rickg@netcom.com |   -- Frank Loesser 

---
Jack Noze -- jpoller@novell.com

	"Your battery is dead.  I couldn't have come up with a more suitable
	    analogy, myself." -- andy banta@abingdon.sun.com
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Sadness
Date: Mon, 04 Jan 1993 09:59:56 GMT
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00

In article <1993Jan3.233113.21261@igor.tamri.com>, Don Baldwin writes:

[Lynx, the ex-cat]
> >She was run over yesterday morning, and is very very dead.  Which
> 
> Oops, was that cat yours?  Sorry...

My SO wants to BBQ you. :-|

Dac
--
From: eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com (Erik Radmall)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Yes, Yes, Let's Talk About the Weather
Date: 6 Jan 93 14:57:37 GMT
Reply-To: eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com
Organization: Xerox Corporation

In article 18295@autodesk.COM, booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
>
>Peeve: I paid $150 dollars for a one-way ticket to San Francisco
>from New York City years ago and *expected* to live in a place where
>my ears are not so cold that they hurt and I have a fear that
>they will shatter and fall off.
>
>Hah! I say. Hah! Its cold here. The folks outside CA probably think
>I am being a Big Baby (OK, so I am - TOUGH), but its COLD here.
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Quit your complaining! I'll be glad to exchange locations with you -- I am
certain that you would enjoy the winters here in Rochester, NY. We get the
least sun of any place in the lower 48, plus, the winters get COLD and
WINDY (wind chill of -40 is hardly unusual).

Peeve: Folks that complain about weather when there ain't nothing to
       complain about.
From: jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Goodbye, Ed
Date: 10 Jan 1993 22:54:55 GMT
Organization: Dark Satanic Mills
NNTP-Posting-Host: triton.unm.edu

In article <ll0rb3INNq3o@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>
>Cool!  Do you get to keep the half lung?  Can you take a picture of
>it and scan it in.  I've always had this urge to know what a
>chancerous chunk of flesh looks like.
>
Now do you think I would let him back in the house without it, _and_
the two ribs they'll have to take out?  I'll take the picture before
we fry the lung up for the dogs (his idea, and a fine one).

Jenny
-- 
>   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
>     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
>       Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
>          internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: New Year's Resolutions
Summary: Does anyone actually read this? RSVP to dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 15:00:15 GMT
Keywords: shit piss damnation

Frankly, I don't give a shit if anyone still believes in Santa Claus, the Tooth
Fairy, Superman, or the Energizer Bunny... but people who still get into New 
Year's Resolutions are starting to get to me, especially when they ask me what
MY resolutions are.  If I want to change something in my life, I don't wait 
until January 1st and give myself one year to do it in.  The whole stupid 
"tradition" seems to be reserved for people who are basically incapable of 
changing their lives, and need to be reminded to make the token gesture once in
a while.

ObFantasy:

"Well, Tom, what's your New Year's Resolution?"

"To kill you."

[long silence] "Oh.  Well, I'm going to lose twenty pounds."

[evil grin] "Oh, you'll lose more than that."

!Peeve: Lent.  Amongst practicing Catholics, it's customary--if not mandatory,
I'm a little rusty on my Papism--to give something up for Lent, as some sort of
obligatory penance.  The idea was that it should be something that you would 
actually miss, but in the latter days of my faith, prior to abandoning it 
entirely, I'd give up things like pate de fois gras, trips to Brazil, and 
leaping tall buildings in a single bound.

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Seals - who gives a shit?
Date: 12 Jan 93 12:04:18 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

Not long ago I saw a TV programme where everyone was moaning about what a
bloody lot of seals there are in the North Sea, how they're breeding like
crazy and eating all the fish.

This week all I see are sob-stories about how the poor little sealy-poos
got all oily and are dying. I agree that this is quite unpleasant for the
individual seals involved, but it's not an ecological disaster if we get
rid of a few of the little buggers, quite the reverse, in fact!



-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

This message cost the net hundreds if not thousands of dollars.
Bloody good value if you ask me.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.fan.furry,alt.sex
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: now That is NOT very nice
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 20:50:59 GMT

dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe) writes:
] 
] Here's an electrodollar, go buy yourself a clue:
] 
] 
]          ____________________________________________________
]         |,---.        ) ALT.PEEVES of USENET (          ,---.|
]         |) 1 (        `====---    _   ---===='          ) 1 (|
]         | \ /                    | |                     \ / |
]         |  V      ,-.            |-|                      V  |
]         |        ( D )          _|-|_         good  for      |
]         |         `-'         _(_) (_)         O  N  E       |
]         |                    (_) | | L_.       c-l-u-e       |
]         |      M21141815E    '      (_  \                    |
]         | / \               (        /  /                / \ |
]         |( 1 )                                          ( 1 )|
]         | \ / ---==<  E L E C T R O D O L L A R  >==---  \ / |
]         |____________________________________________________|
] 
 
Dave,

is that any way to show our Warm Fun Loving,
Friendly Approach to the Terminally Clueless?

Just because some child is several letters 
short of a Clue is NO reason to go defacing
currency!!!!!

You really DO need to learn to be nice to others.


ciao
drieux




-- 
Modern Day Problems:

"lets get linear, I want to get linear, linear"
				Olivia Newton Algegra
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: A rat is a pig-headed moron is a ...
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 12 Jan 1993 19:28:16 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



rgordon@nyx.cs.du.edu (Rick Gordon) writes:

>Where did all the animal people go?


They're all down at the beach, washing oily birds.  <snicker>


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller			+ + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM	+ + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Newsgroups: alt.peeves