From: franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin)
Subject: Re: I am Elvis
Keywords: Elvis, The King,  Alive
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 00:46:41 GMT

In <1992Aug27.233445.2960@bradley.bradley.edu> death@buhub.bradley.edu (Dustin Slater) writes:
>In <BtnMvn.BGK@ecf.toronto.edu> mcguire@ecf.toronto.edu (MCGUIRE Peter F.) writes:


>> I AM ELVIS, HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME!!!
>>WHO DO YOU THINK OYU ARE ANYWAY, I'LL TELL YOU.. YOU ARE A  PUNY
>>PEON, AND I AM THE KING, SO BACK OFF NOW, AND GO BACK TO YOUR
>>DREARY LITTLE LIFE

>Looks like the king is getting a little cranky in his old age.

You know, this conversation is really starting to disturb me. Not only was
this group started without the King's consent, but now we have all of
these fraudulent imposters here... When I dropped down to the local
gas station to talk to da King, I mentioned this thread to him. The
sadness in his eyes was overpowering, as he picked up his precious
guitar "Bertha" and began to sing:
   "they ain't nothing but imposters...
    Just lying all the time...
    They ain't nothing but imposters..."
and then he broke into tears.

   Now, if you want to save the king some anguish, why not just back off,
and let him have his peace. All of this bad publicity is really starting
to rub off on the King's election campain for Ward 6 of our district, and
if you guys don't cut it out quickly, he's thinking of removing his
pork chops in the name of disguise. He's not bluffing either.

   I understand, as passionate "King worshippers" you are just aching in 
your bones to know more about the King, so I'll share it with you.

The King pumps gas at "Jerry's Gas Pump" making 4.50 /hr trying to pay off
debts to Enrico Estevez related to drug consumption in Tijuana when he was
younger. He is married to a somewhat overweight fine-cooking woman named
Ethel. His favorite song was "Blue suede shoes", and he HATED "Hound Dog".
He loves to listen to Julio Iglesias, but mixes in some Englebert Humperdink
(sp?) as well... 
   He's a good sport, and has recently discovered a new athletic passion -
lawn bowling. It's good for the joints, but takes minimum effort. I should
point out that Da King has gained a little bit of weight. Actually, a lot.
Then again, you'd probably be pretty stressed out too if you were told that
Space Aliens had abducted you in the "national enquirer". Food has been a 
good friend to Elvis. 
   For the record, Da King SWEARS on his grave in Memphis that he was NOT
abducted by space aliens. No need for concern there folks.
   Elvis recently has done some music escapades to help pay the bills, and 
keep Enrico happy. For instance, he did some backup tracks for Milli
Vanilli, Paula Abdul, and even did a duet with James Brown back in
prison ... "Love Me tender", in memory of James' wife...
   Elvis' favorite show is Beverly Hills 90210 (or is it 91210? 90120? 90102?)
He couldn't believe that Macgyver was taken off the air, and insists that 
Dick Clark dyes his hair. Elvis never told me much about his relationship 
with Barb Bush, so I can't really elaborate on that...

   In any case, anything else is really none of your business, and I,
and Da King beg you to cease and desist all following threads related
to his demise, and new life.

Steve (in lieu of Da King who found it too heart wrenching to write this
       himself)

-- 
aasdSteveFranklin-Subliminal Psychology Major.ks;dlasBlueJaysRULEkasdfeahsdbfl
sd;lfaswoq[eBuyMeAQuadra!!!mbnZMXCNdfsba;KdSPAMiuroqiyetIBMSuxiweuryth'ewr;mxn
qpuepriuPartyOneqtuj;,n.,xnc,kjasFlameMeNot!;lkj;lkgkjd;askElvisLivesjhfquweru
zx.cfranklin@ug.cs.dal.ca,sk;t;lrut[Superboy@ac.dal.cav.zx,Physics!eq3rwkh;oHA
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