From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Spaaaaace Cadets!
Summary: Just when you thought it was safe to back out into space!!
Keywords: Rip Skywalker
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems Inc.
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 92 19:34:48 GMT


Meanwhile, on a small planet on the other side of the Galaxy......

A small Rebel band has come together to try to overthrow the rule of
the mean, nasty, evil ruler of the Enderpire.  Leading the Endperial
StormTroopers was the heartles Darth Nadar.  How does all this tie
into 'Space Cadets'?  Well, read on and find out!  *sheesh*


And now, back to Spaaaaaace Cadets of the Universe!

----------------------------------------------------------------------


"Rip!  Rip Skywalker!  Now were is that boy?" the old woman muttered
to herself. "Rip!  You get in here and get your chores done!"

"Oh Auntie Em..." Rip said more to himself than to the old woman.

It had been a long, hot, dry summer.  It didn't look like they were
going to bring in a crop, again, this year.  This would make three
years in a row, and the banks were getting down right nasty.  If no
money came in soon, Rip's Aunt and Uncle could loose the farm.  Not
that it would be that much of a lose, but it was all they had.

Uncle Ben's farm was not that big, but his rice crop was famous
throughout the sector.  Merchants from as far as Ratatooi would come,
just for a few metric tons of rice.  But with out the rain, there
would be no crop, no merchants, and no money.

Uncle Ben had taken to spending most of his time in the local pub,
sucking sake.  He would come home in a stumbling stupper, mumbling
about how the Gods were against him and if he could only afford some
good 'droids, everything would be alright.

On this particular night, Uncle Ben didn't come home at the his
normal hour and Aunt Em was getting a bet worried.

"Rip," she said from across the dinner table, "I want you to go look
for your Uncle Ben after you are done eating.  He isn't home yet and
I am a getting a bit worried."

"Ok," Rip replied, "as soon as I finish my rice soup and rice bread
and for dessert, rice pudding."

*******

On his way to find his Uncle Ben, Rip ran into an old man.

"Oop!  Sorry old man," said Rip, "didn't see you.  Are you alright?"
Rip helped the man up off the ground.

"Clumsy oaf!  Didn't you see me?  Just because I am only 2 feet tall
is no excuse to run into people!  &*^%((&%%%##@$^&*&*&%!"

"OUCH!  My hears are bleeding!" screamed Rip, sticking his fingers in
his ears.

"Just one of the many facets of the Force, among them being
levitation, copulation, suffocation, universal translation, did I
mention copulation....?"

"Wow!" whistled Rip, "Can you teach me the ways of the Force?"

"You want to be DeadEye Knight?"

"A what?"

"A DeadEyeKnight you git!  The most ancient a powerful warriors in the
universe!  Let me tell you the history of the DeadEye Knights..."

**Fade to black**

Meanwhile on a distant planet, the leader of the Endperial Guard, one
Darth Nadar, is completing the take over of one of the many Rebel
bases.  But what makes this one special is that Princess
Kumoniwannalaya, (or Laya for short), is one of the captives...

"So, we meet at last."  Hisses Nadar beneath his shiny black helmet
and mask.  "And now, what do we do with you?"

"Burn her!"  shouts one of the men gaurding Princess Laya.

"Yes! Burn her!  She's a witch!"  chimes in another.

"BURN!! BUUUURN HER!"  the others cry.

"Oh shut up!" yells Nadar, "It was a rhetorical question!"  And with
that, Nadar turns the two offending officers into newts and squashes
them.

"Now where was I?  Oh, yes...  Tell me my pretty, where can I find
the main Rebel base?  Hmmmmm......?"

"You know I can't tell you that!  I can't betray my friends, my
commrades, my...."

"If you don't tell me, I'll kill you."

"....like I was saying, it's on the planet Anthrax."

"I knew it!"  exclaimed Nadar.  "The most desolate, misbegotten hunk
of rock in the known Universe!  In fact I was born on that overgrown
asteroid!"

"Funny," interjected(nice word huh?), Laya, "so was I...."

"Hey, do you remember that little cafe on the corner of third and
main?" asked Nadar, temporarily falling out of charactor.

"Yeah, the one run by the funny little man with one leg?"

"Yeah!  That's the one!  I remember one time.....  Hey!  What are your
trying to pull here?!"  Nadar exclaims, suddenly coming back to
himself.  "Take her away to the holding area!  And don't worry about
being too gentle...."

***Fade back from black***

"Really?  You can do all that?" Rip has just gotten the complete
history of the Force, the DeadEye knights and all they can do.

"Yep, and more!  Did I mention copulation?"  Replied the short guy.

"Yes, several times.  Hey, do you think we could use the Force to
find my Uncle Ben?  He has been gone for along time and my Auntie Em
is getting worried."

"Ben....?  Em....?  Say boy, your name wouldn't happen to be
'Skywalker' would it?"

"Why yes, why to you ask?"

"I knew it!  As soon and you ran into me, I knew it!"

"What?  Knew what?"

"You, my boy, are descended for a long line of people who have been
strong with the Force.  I trained your Dad in the ways of the Force,
and your Dad's Dad, and his Dad.  Did I mention how easy it is to get
chicks by using the Force.....?"

"Yes!  Yes!  Half a dozen times in the last five minute!  Now what
about my Dad?  Uncle Ben never told me about him."

"Oh, your Dad was a great fighter, alittle dense, but a great fighter
none the less....  Tell you what boy, lets us go find your Uncle Ben.
I think I remember seeing him at B&B's Hell."

So, side by hip, the two went to town to B&B's, or as the locals
called it, just plain Hell....

______________________________________________________________________
                                                      _____
Rip                                 rip@sequent.com  /     \
Official Palanquin Bearer                           /  rip  \
For the Secretaries                                 |xxx-xxx|
Of the RFA                                       ___|_______|___
And BigBro to LF, 'Chelle, HotDi,                    \~ ~~ ~\
Lis, Garrett, Michelle and GypsyII (whew!)            \~~ ~~~\
Help!  My karma ran over my dogma, and it can't get up!!
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