HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: andsol@is.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg)
Subject: Bringing Order To The Universe
Organization: Rice University
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 08:24:22 GMT

I've been looking at my keyboard.  In particular, I've been looking at the
middle row.  It bears the letters 'asdfghjkl', in addition to other keystrokes.

Ever notice that, were it not for the letter 's', this row would have been
perfectly alphabetized?

Surely this cannot be a coincidence.  What are the odds of a random collection
of nine letters being perfectly alphabetized, except for one?  There must
be some cosmic significance here....

I must conclude that an error has been made.  When the keyboard as we know it
was developed, the center row was INTENDED to be alphabetized, but somebody
screwed it up.  That really jerks my chain.

Such perfection, such ORDER, ruined by happenstance.  I can't deal with it.
It's driving me nuts.  I....I must find a solution!  I MUST OBLITERATE THE
PROBLEM!!  WHERE ARE THOSE PLIERS?!  Ngggggggggggggggg.......GAH!!!!

There we go.  Now everything i  hunky-dory.  Con iderably  o.

Ju t doing my part to bring order to the univer e.......

-- 
Andrew  olberg          |"If I were your wife I'd poi on your tea!" 
Undying Univer ity Mooch|              Anon. Outraged Briti h Woman
and ol@owlnet.rice.edu  |"And if I were your hu band I'd drink it!"
Phone:713-529-8627      |              Win ton Churchill

			
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: show us your tits, tina
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 20:54:33 GMT


someone yelled that when i was watching 'stop making sense' at a theater

she didnt.

Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:23033 alt.politics.bush:115 alt.politics.clinton:462
From: charlesk@fraser.sfu.ca (Charles Hak Kim)
Subject: Re: BUSH
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 01:59:26 GMT

mge1@cec1.wustl.edu (Michael Gatchalian Escano) writes:

>You can blame Bush for the problems in L.A. because of his outright neglect for
>colored people around the country.  You can blame him for AIDS (somewhat)
 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>UK
i

Whoa Whoa Whoa!!  Hey Mr/Mrs/Ms. UK, I wouldn't go around saying this phrase
in America (or for that matter Canada.)  Let's say people of color.  
Colored people is bad.  People of color is good.
:)
Regards,

Charles H. Kim

charlesk@sfu.ca

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: andsol@is.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg)
Subject: 100 Words
Organization: Rice University
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 16:25:33 GMT

One day Superman was squiring Lois Lane around town, and he was looking
for a way to impress her.  He spotted a lump of coal on the ground and
saw his chance.  He picked up the chunk and compressed it in his mighty
hands, subjecting it to pressures and temperatures found only at the
heart of a sun.

Superman opened his hands to reveal, not a diamond as he had expected,
but a smaller and denser lump of coal.  Lois looked at it lying in his
hand, and a frown creased her pretty face.

Then she dumped him for Batman.
-- 
Andrew Solberg          |"If I were your wife I'd poison your tea!" 
Undying University Mooch|              Anon. Outraged British Woman
andsol@owlnet.rice.edu  |"And if I were your husband I'd drink it!"
Phone:713-529-8627      |              Winston Churchill
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Bringing Order To The Universe
Date: 26 Jul 92 23:08:47 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Followup-To: misc.test
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

Andrew J. Solberg writes:

>I've been looking at my keyboard.  In particular, I've been looking at the
>middle row.  It bears the letters 'asdfghjkl', in addition to other keystrokes.

Reading this, I am reminded of the immortal words of Dave Polewka:

Subject: Re: One-line bio: Andrew J. Solberg -- anagram

**********************************
  Senor D'Jello: a boring newbie
**********************************
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: oe@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops)
Subject: Re: deja vu
Organization: University of Canberra
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 92 04:46:05 GMT

finerty@msscc.med.utah.edu (I_AM_NOTHING_AND_KNOW_EVEN_LESS) writes:

>hi,i am small. i have a mind. i am a man. does this make me a small minded man? 
>often times i am awake late at night and wonder these things. often times i am 
>not awake late at night but asleep and i dream about other things. however, i 
>cannot usually remember these things. does this make them any less significant? 
>i think there is a good posibility that these dreams which i do not remember 
>are the source of any deja vu feelings that i sometimes get during my waking 
>hours. 

hEye,Eye am one. Eye have sight. Eye am an eye. does this make me monocular? 
often tEyemes Eye am open at nEyeght and can't see a bloody thing in the 
dark. often tEyemes Eye am closed and some silly twit runs dream videos 
across mEye perception. thus Eye cannot visualEyese what Eye couldn't see 
and can visualise whats not really there. actually this loses significance. 
Eye don't bloody well think 'cause Eye'm an Eye and thus Eye only wish that 
the bloody dreams would shoot through and so far as deja vu is concerned 
Eye get pissed at seeing the same things tEyeme and tEyeme again.

oe@csc.canberra.edu.au        This is now a philosophical, non provocative
Look Once...         .-)      signature.
   Look TwEyece..    .-) .-)       
      Half See...    .-)         
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry)
Subject: Party Tip
Originator: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu
Keywords: Ghostbusters Cereal
Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 17:46:23 GMT

As many of you know, one of the best party snacks is breakfast cereal. 
Many's the time when I've gone through a whole box of Ghostbusters or
The Sweedish Chef's Croonchey Stars Cereal before half a bowl of chips
or even M&Ms is gone.  (Croonchey Stars is particularly fun because
of the Stoopid Games on the back of the package, and also the list of
ingredients)  Anyway, the tip is this:  Although Batman Returns Cereal
looks like a perfectly plausible party snack, don't serve it in areas
where there is high humidity, as it tends to grow rather sticky.  I should
have guessed that it would be trouble when it's number one ingredient was
Rice (instead of sugar), but I let my roommates talk me into it anyway.
Live and learn.

Stock up today!

John



-- 

O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-o
   Fish die only to be funny!
O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-O-*-o
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:23797 alt.flame:11476
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.flame
Subject: Kill files
From: varvel@plains.NoDak.edu (Andrew Varvel)
Date: 28 Jul 92 16:24:32 GMT
Organization: University of North Dakota, Grand Forks

In article <1992Jul28.083331.24880@dscomsf.desy.de> Poser@vxdsyc.desy.de
writes:
>In article <1992Jul27.220834.6090@athena.cs.uga.edu>,
milliken@athena.cs.uga.edu (Brewmeister) make abundantly clear to the
incredulously watching public
>just why he is in so many killfiles:
>
>|>In article <1992Jul27.165706.18478@dscomsf.desy.de> Poser@vxdsyc.desy.de
>|>writes:

>|>Nice of you to delete my login id and name there, Poser.  Remember I wrote the
>|>section of this post that I will now enclose:
>
>Shut up and fuck off. If You don't have the brains to look up the original
>article that I gleaned from a.p.clinton before You stuff Your foot down
>Your vainglorious manubrium, it's not really skin off my nose.
>
>When I say found art, newbie, I mean found art.
>
>|>Look asshole, if you're going to use other people's flames, then at least give
>|>them credit.
>
>Look, BB-brain, if You can't read article headers You shouldn't be on the net.
>Would You mind engaging Your cortex the next time _before_ You eructate on
>the net?

My, my, what language!
What wonderfully devised arguments!
How typical of alt.flame!
And you wonder why these two people are on so MANY kill files...



















:^)




















Have fun!




















Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@netcom.com (richh)
Subject: Re: toast
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 92 01:58:58 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <5768@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:

>)Megalomania.
>Mea culpa.
>
>rp -- still reeling them in with this, absolutely amazing.

No, it is definitely NOT amazing, you sycophantic blowjob of a putz.  New
people get access to the net EVERY DAY.  YOU know this.  I know this.  This
is not news. It takes MONTHS to learn how to POST, FOLLOW UP, and READ NEWS.  
People will ALWAYS follow up to misc.test.  It DON'T MEAN SHIT.

What *is* amazing is that you seem to find it so absolutely hysterical.

RICHH
--amazed
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,comp.ai
From: jrobbins@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (Jason Robbins)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: sexual inuendo
Date: 22 Jul 92 20:11:42 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department
Originator: jrobbins@oahu.cs.ucla.edu

Here is a play on words that I must attribute to Dave Harkness:
(I modified it a little...)

  I wanted to have sex with my girlfriend, but I had to find some way
of making my roommate get out before she came... over.

-jason
From: andsol@is.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Red Zone
Date: 23 Jul 92 19:50:33 GMT
Organization: Rice University

The Red Zone is for Loading and Unloading Only!  No Parking in The Red Zone!

The Red Zone had the approval of the authorities.  It was allowed to thrive,
undisturbed, on its narrow section of curb.  Unnoticed, it massed, and
festered, and spread.....

Nobody paid any attention to The Red Zone as it snaked its tendrils across
the highways and byways of America.  Cancerous Red Zone!  Evil, Dire Red Zone!

Now we are aware, but it is too late.  All across the land, curbs are strictly
for Loading and Unloading Only -- No Parking in The Red Zone!  Cars roam 
without direction, desperately seeking a haven, a resting place; instead,
they putter along until they die and sputter into silence on the shoulder.
And The Red Zone rejoices.

No Parking in The Dread Red Zone!!
-- 
Andrew Solberg          |"If I were your wife I'd poison your tea!" 
Undying University Mooch|              Anon. Outraged British Woman
andsol@owlnet.rice.edu  |"And if I were your husband I'd drink it!"
Phone:713-529-8627      |              Winston Churchill
From: blewis@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Benn L. Lewis)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: 100 and 1 ways to blah blah blah
Summary: blah blah blah
Keywords: 100, blah, 
	Whhewwee!  That was a good one.  I mean, I need another...Cat in the Hat another time Green Eggs and Ham and the Butter Wars and I neeeeeed more, Nowww.  Yeah man, that was so smooth that my toung is flaccid.  It all started when I was a kid-
Date: 22 Jul 92 20:56:37 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

BENN!
DIE!



Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,soc.culture.british,alt.sex
From: mpevans@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Evans)
Subject: Re: SEX
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 92 15:29:16 GMT

johnf@apollo.hp.com (John Francis) writes:

>It is more understandable, although still irrational, to be afraid that a
>homosexual may make advances to you.  Again, this is a conditioned response
>instilled by the teachings of society, which says that it is O.K. for a man
>to walk up to a strange woman and make sexual advances, but any other pairing
>is in some way deviant.  It has been my experience that the technique used
>by women to fend of undesired advances works just as well - just say "No".

Maybe homosexual men are unlikely to play the silly 'no means maybe/yes'
type games.
Which are not unknown in (ordinary) heterosexual behaviour.

>In fact it works rather better - I can't recall hearing of too many cases
>where a male was raped because an overly-agressive homosexual took "No" to
>mean "Yes, but I have to say No because society expects it of me".

I seem to remember that most (reported) causes of men being raped were
by heterosexual men.
From: jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu (Larry Jewell)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Larry Jewel  (was:  Re: open letter to Roger David Carasso)
Keywords: US Grade A  reject
Date: 27 Jul 92 18:48:12 GMT
Organization: Purdue University

In article <1992Jul27.174101.2994@cs.rose-hulman.edu> jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Jeff Davidson) writes:
>Larry,  Larry,   you just don't get it, do you? I have seen about 5 posts  
>commenting/flaming/whatever your line feeds and ^L's, but you JUST DON'T GET  
>IT, do you?  

Nope, since most of the flamers are already in my kill files. 

You don't like my posts, don't have them read to you.




































































































































































-- 
#Larry W. Jewell (ex-USN) WWII-L Listowner    jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu     # 
#"Sunday's horoscope is noteworthy because of its strange, sudden and wholly#
#unpredictable and inexplicable occurrences, affecting all phases of life." #
#--"Your Horoscope," L.A. Evening Herald Express, Saturday, Dec. 6, 1941.   #
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Re: one line bio
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 18:52:28 GMT

kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius) writes:
: >Mark "Has aliased 'more' to 'm'" Lippert 
: 
: alias a alias
: 
: a m mail
: 
: a mroe more
: a moer more
: a meor more
: a mreo more
: a mero more

Aha.  Someone who misspells more as much as I do.  But you forgot...

a mor more
a moe more
a mre more
a mer more
a noer more

--
---Alfvaen(a.k.a. Aaron V. Humphrey, Page of Newts)
Canadian Network For Space Research, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
"Sometimes the world has a load of questions..."  --Talking Heads
Current Album--Julee Cruise:Floating Into The Night
Current Read--Eileen Kernaghan:Journey To Aprilioth
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Webster's Unabridged Encyclopedic:  Intentional vs. Intestine
Date: 31 Jul 92 12:52:53 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us

In article <1992Jul31.053447.23468@wetware.com> billbill@wetware.com
(Bill Bill) writes:

#  Intestine has a more interesting picture.
#
#  Intentional has more synonyms.

Intestate has a well known phrase or saying: `Where there's not a will,
there's an intestate'. 

Interstate has a small positive integer.

-- Ken "Inventive" Johnson


-- 
////  Advice to dieters:          ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////    Never eat more than       ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////    you can carry.            ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////               -- Miss Piggy  ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
From: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com (James Woodyatt)
Subject: Re: AIDS and those damn democrats
Reply-To: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com
Organization: Abiogenesis 4 Less
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 02:34:53 GMT

In article <1992Jul29.165111.11674@ucsu.Colorado.EDU>, fusco@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Andrew Fusco) writes:
# If AIDS can be compared to the bubonic plague, as you suggest, then perhaps
# we should quarantine all AIDS sufferers. With the rising numbers of AIDS
# patients suffering from an incurable strain of TB, which could be quite
# contagious, maybe this is the way to go.

Congratulations, you FUCKHEAD! You just pressed *my* favorite joy
button!

Now. For the readers at home...

	PLEASE DOCUMENT ALL KNOWN CASES WHERE QUARANTINES HAVE BEEN
	SUCCESSFUL AT PREVENTING THE SPREAD OF DISEASE AND CORRELATE
	FOR SIMILARITY.

Then swallow a lit stick of dynamite.

You buffoon. This is not Cuba.

-- 
J H Woodyatt (a.k.a. Dr. Strychnine)
Space Systems/Loral

"In space, I would make hi-fi gravity waves to transmit my compositions
to people in their sealed spacesuits, who would automatically dance."
                                   -- Bill Gibson (billbill@wetware.com)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: Ender@csc.canberra.edu.au (Ender Wiggin)
Subject: Re: Yahoo Serious
Summary: KILL ME NOW, except for australians
Organization: Under protest
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 92 23:19:14 GMT

In article <TOMF.92Jul22132723@ai.bunny.gte.com> tomf@ai.bunny.gte.com (Tom Fawcett) writes:


>Whatever happened to Yahoo Serious?  Wasn't he supposed to be
>the Mel Gibson of the nineties?

>I hope he's not parking cars in Tasmania.
>I really wanted to see him do MacBeth.

I think he's working with Bill and Ted on the next Waynes World
feature. Now theres a neat collection...
Ender.
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Ethical Question
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 02:30:57 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
  <1992Jul20.052752.22932@matilda.vut.edu.au> <91350@bu.edu>
  <1992Jul22.185724.2987@meadow.uucp>

In article <1992Jul20.052752.22932@matilda.vut.edu.au> jed@matilda.vut.edu.au (
Jed Bowtell) writes:
>In article <OSA.92Jul18174313@kepler.unh.edu> osa@kepler.unh.edu (Bart Simps..
 er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
>>
>>and while on the subject, don't you ever wonder why all the good rock
>>bands are from the uk, while us bands usually suck?  i mean, look at
>>the beatles, the clash, the rolling stones, and what does the states
>>have to offer?  michael jackson? barry manilow? vanilla ice????
>>
>
>Yeah good comment, just name all the junky US music and dont mention
>all the great US artists like Velvet Underground, 
>Neil Young, Van Halen, Hendrix...
   /I              /I     /I
    I               I      I_____________rejected by Yanks, does his thing
    I               I                    successfully only in Britain
    I               I                    ..ergo is British (honourary)
    I               I
    I               I___________ Quite simply, the quintessential
CANADIAN IS HE,                  rock and roll band of all time.
NOT AMERICAN!!!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.mcdonalds
From: saltgirl@acca.nmsu.edu (Saltgirl)
Subject: Rictus Hep: Culinary adventurer
Summary: with a milkshake and McDonaldland cookie
Organization: New Mexico State University
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 15:26:00 GMT

"Uh...sure.  I'll try the new McHaggis."
Newsgroups: talk.rape
From: dan@cubmol.bio.columbia.edu (Daniel Zabetakis)
Subject: Re: DanZ on what planet he's from ...
Organization: Columbia University, Dept. of Biological Sciences.
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 15:09:36 GMT

In article <1992Jul24.205358.203@brtph560.bnr.ca> kimmyd@bnr.ca (Kimmy Posey P920) writes:
> Who said I don't believe
>we should "try to move towards justice" ?  

   You did. You said it plainly. You said you didn't care if some innocent
people were executed. You said it again in this article. This statment below
cannot be used in a rational argument without disparaging and moving away
from justice:

>  Innocent lives have been
>sacrificed to save others innocent or otherwise since time immemorial.  And

[more deleted]

>  If you
>arrived at these conclusions after thoroughly reading my post then you should
>either come back from Dimension X where everything is bass-ackwards or see the
>folks at Columbia about enrolling in Reading Comprehension .101.
>
   Now, how do you work those killfile thingies.....

DanZ


-- 
This article is for entertainment purposes only. Any facts, opinions,
narratives or ideas contained herein are not necessarily true, and do
not necessarily represent the views of any particular person.  

Newsgroups: talk.rape
From: rpetsche@mrg.tmc.edu (Rolfe G. Petschek)
Subject: Definitions of rape (was) Re: <None>
Reply-To: rpetsche@mrg.CWRU.EDU (Rolfe G. Petschek)
Organization: CWRU Physics Department
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 14:04:27 GMT

In article <1992Jul30.084348.9059@uoft02.utoledo.edu> dcrosgr@uoft02.utoledo.edu writes:
>In article <SYNTH.92Jul29195010@deepthought.unm.edu>, synth@deepthought.unm.edu (Synth F. Oberheim) writes:

>>> If it's a visualization of sex either with protest from the woman or with
>>> the woman being oblivious to any act taking place, it's a rape fantasy.
>
>Olivious is not rape.

From the Ohio Revised Code:

2907.03 Sexual battery
(A) No person shall engage in sexual conduct with another, not the
spouse of the offender, when any of the following apply:
 (3) The offender knows that the other person submits because he or she
is unaware that the act is being committed.

Third degree felony.  Gee and you don't mind calling gross sexual
imposition rape and it is only a fourth degree felony.

I am not an attorney, this is not legal advice, if you take it as such
you are a blithering idiot.  Legal advice should be obtained directly
from a professional.
--
Rolfe G. Petschek			Petschek@cwru.bitnet
Associate Professor of Physics		rgp@po.cwru.edu
Case Western Reserve University		(216)368-4035 
Cleveland Oh 44106-7079
Newsgroups: talk.rape
From: synth@deepthought.unm.edu (Synth F. Oberheim)
Subject: Re: Rape in any form ...
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 92 19:01:19 GMT
Organization: SynthMedia Productions Ltd.: The Danes Call It Quality
	<SYNTH.92Jul28193941@deepthought.unm.edu>
	<1992Jul29.085038.9026@uoft02.utoledo.edu>


dcrosgr@uoft02.utoledo.edu writes:

dc> Maybe after you explain, in scientific reasons, why you like or
dc> dislike liver, in such a way that a person without any sense of
dc> taste can understand it, you will have invented language that I
dc> can then use to make you understand my preferences.

dc> Although, without telepathy, I don't think it can be done.

When you acquire the power of telepathy, be sure and get back to me,
because speech and dialogue have become quite hopeless.


===============================================================================
    :: :: :: :: ::     Synth F.    synth@deepthought.unm.edu    U S E N E T   
 :: :: :: :: :: :: ::  Oberheim    synth@yenta.alb.nm.us             in color!
===============================================================================
I'm a sweet little cupcake -- BAKED BY THE DEVIL!