From: jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer)
Subject: Unofficial Summary for Monday, April 13, 1992
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 92 15:36:37 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Keywords: Unofficial Summary Rush Limbaugh

Unofficial Summary of the Rush Limbaugh Show

for Monday, April 13, 1992

by John Switzer

NOTE: This is being posted to both alt.fan.rush-limbaugh and
alt.rush-limbaugh and thus you may see it twice if your sysadm
aliases the two newsgroups together. Since most sites don't
support both groups, this double-posting appears to be
unavoidable, however, if anyone has any ideas on how to avoid it,
please let me know. Thanks - jrs@netcom.com.

This unofficial summary is copyright (c) 1992 by John  Switzer.
All  Rights Reserved. Distribution of this unofficial summary to
other electronic forums and bulletin boards is highly encouraged.
Spelling and other corrections gratefully received.

Please read the standard disclaimer which was included with the
first summary for this month. In particular, please note that
this summary is not approved or sanctioned by Rush Limbaugh or
the EIB network, nor do I have any connection with them other as
a daily listener.

******************************************************************

April 13, 1992

MORNING UPDATE

The Centers for Disease Control hired an ad agency to encourage
the use of condoms. The agency got a number of celebrities to
make the following ads:

o       George Burns says "I first started using condoms when I
was a young man. I think I was 72."

o       Whoopi Goldberg states "Ain't no making whoopi without a
condom."

o       Ray Charles added "I wouldn't be seen without one."

The CDC, though, rejected the ads because they didn't want any
humor, and did not want the ads to mention "sex" or "condoms."
Rush wonders how condom usage can be promoted if these words
aren't included. AIDS advocacy groups, though, are upset and are
complaining that the "CDC should not be so concerned about
offending people, particularly when that could lead to someone
else's death."

Rush says what really offends people is to insult them by telling
them that condoms save lives. "It's real simple, folks - would
using a condom make you feel safe if you were having sex with
someone else that had AIDS. Of course not, so why would you want
to encourage anybody to do it?"

FIRST HOUR

Update  Feminist         (The Forrester Sisters, "Men" with "in
your face" slogan)

During the pro-choice rally in Washington, DC Jane Fonda said
that "we've got to keep the government out of our wombs."
However, Fonda does want the government involved - at least she
wants government money involved in cleaning out the womb. Also,
Fonda has claimed that she "was driven every moment of my life"
to marry Ted Turner. She continued on to say "more important to
me now are rest and replenishment and feeling safe and secure
with somebody. That's what Ted is for me, and the few things I
regret in my life are not putting enough time into mothering,
wiving, taking care of the inner life."

Rush wonders why Fonda didn't say that during the pro-choice
rally; she probably would have been stoned by the feminists. In
fact, Fonda may have been driven out of Washington DC by tampon-
waving feminists. Rush knows about tampons because he received a
tampon from another WABC DJ, Lynn. Lynn broadcasts on Sundays,
and she spent last Sunday defending Rush against scurrilous
charges by feminists. Thus, she left a tampon (in wrapper) for
Rush.

Rush plays his commercial for Feminazi Trading Cards, and then
says that each pack of 5 cards will be wrapped in a condom, and
will include a testosterone patch.

Rush moves on to the death of Sam Kinnison, who evidently did not
die instantly in the car crash as reported earlier this weekend.
Carl Lebuve, Kinnison's friend, reports that Kinnison managed to
walk around for a little bit saying "I don't want to die, I don't
want to die." However, Kinnison then seemed to hear a "voice
above" and after a moment said "but why?"

Kinnison is being reviled even in his obituaries as a homophobe
and racist; Rush feels this is typical of the "media elite" who
is more than willing to make fun about someone who disagrees with
them, but who cannot accept anyone making fun of what they
believe.

To Rush, Kinnison's best routine was about the Ethiopians - "they
don't need food, they need luggage! We don't live in deserts
because it's sand and nothing grows there!" Kinnison also made
fun of Sally Struthers who made one ad after another for the
world's children. He wondered why Struthers didn't give the
starving little boy in the ad her own sandwich. Rush says that
his humor was "right on" in many respects. However, Kinnison
found he had to get more and more outrageous as time went on.
This is a danger, since what makes people really mad is if
there's truth in one's humor.

If you joke about a totally absurd situation, then everybody can
laugh and ignore it. But if there's truth in your joke, then that
is going to get people angry because it hits too close to home.
Rush does this himself, and he is glad to see that conservatives
are finally making fun of the liberals' policies. Some comedians
have basically made their entire act nothing but an attack
against Reagan, Bush, or Quayle. It's "okay" to make fun of
Republicans, but if this same technique is used against them -
"skewering their sacred cows" - they can't respond in a
substantive way and thus resort to anger and name-calling.

Saturday Night Live has always been good at political humor, and
has even managed to be somewhat balanced about it. Humor is a
great way to make a political point, and reach a lot more people.
This is something that Kinnison was especially good at, and Rush
calls his death a shame. It's even more of a shame that Kinnison
died because 17-year olds were driving fast and drinking beer.

*BREAK*

Item

o       53% of voters in a CNN poll said that they don't trust
Clinton; also, if Perot is in the election, he would take about
10 points away from Clinton, but only a couple from Bush. Rush
admits that he was wrong in thinking that Perot would hurt Bush
more than the Democrats.

Phone   Bart from Sheboygan, WI

Bart says that the Milwaukee Journal has been criticizing Tommy
Thompson's welfare reforms, which they call "Bridefair." Under
this plan, single mothers who are under 20 and who have a second
child while on welfare, get only half of the added payment that
they would otherwise have. No additional benefits are paid for
any additional children.

Rush praises Thompson's reforms, and he compares them to New
Jersey's welfare reforms which don't pay any more money at all to
women who have any additional children while on welfare. Welfare
activists are upset about this, of course, but the simple fact is
that the people don't have the money any more. Bart says that the
Milwaukee Journal hates "Learnfare," and Rush isn't surprised -
this plan gets people off of welfare by insisting that children
stay in school and learn what they need to get a job. Welfare
beneficiaries don't receive their payments unless their children
stay in school.

Welfare advocates call this an "unfair burden" on the child, but
Rush wonders how that could be since it only has children doing
what they should be doing in the first place. Learnfare is a
perfect system in which everybody wins - taxpayers pay less,
those who need welfare get their payments, and their children get
an education.

*BREAK*

Rush adds that Governor Tommy Thompson is attracting a lot of
attention from conservatives, who are starting to think that he
may inspire people in 1996 like Perot is inspiring people now.
Thompson has the courage of his convictions and is showing his
leadership in the way he is taking on entitlement programs. The
US government needs to be "weaned from the pig," and Thompson may
be the one who can do it.

Rush doesn't know if Thompson has what it takes to be a national
figure, but he is worth watching. Thompson has shown his
compassion by his emphasis on education, and he is encouraging
kids to learn without increasing the burden on working taxpayers.

Item

o       The Washington Post referred to Perot as a "savior" who
rescues one group after another. Rush comments that the Executive
News Service on CompuServe has this profile on-line in case you
are "waiting for Perot." The Post reports that Perot's claims of
getting 2 million phone calls included busy signals; thus, if
someone redialed Perot's number 10 times, their single call was
counted as ten separate calls. However, Perot is now using MCI
and this miscounting is not happening anymore.

Phone   Michelle from Elverta, CA

Rush comments that Elverta is "dangerously close to Rio Linda."
Michelle remarks that Rush was uncommonly kind to Sam Kinnison;
Rush usually "bashes the dead." Rush doesn't think he is that
unkind, but he admits that when homeless advocate Mitch Snyder
committed suicide and was cremated, he cast Snyder as the desert
sand storm in his Gulf War Miniseries. Rush also sang a requiem
in honor of Snyder, and he sings it again - it's the lyrics of
Clarence "Frogman" Henry's song "Ain't Got No Home," sung to a
Dies Irae-like Gregorian chant. <<I wonder if Jerry Brown is
listening?>>

Michelle thinks that Rush would benefit from having children, and
says she occasionally has to screen Rush's show for her children.
Rush admits that this could happen since he aims his show at a
higher aged audience.

*BREAK*

Phone   Pete from Terra Haute, IN

Pete has heard that congressmen can take their campaign funds
with them when they quit. Rush says that a new law stipulates
that you have to quit this year, and you must have been in
Congress since 1980 or so. These few congressmen can thus use
these campaign funds for their own personal use if they resign
this year. However, if these congressmen remain in office, they
will lose these funds. For example, Rep. Rostenkowski would have
a $1 million if he quit this year; this is one reason why so many
representatives are leaving this year.

Phone   Ed from Sylvania, OH

Ed thinks a good way for Bush to re-attract conservatives is to
take on monopolies such as cable television. Rush has his doubts
that monopolies are a winning issue, but Ed thinks that they
could be if presented properly. Rush agrees that monopolies
should be reigned back in, but still doesn't see it as an
election issue. Ed, though, says that if Bush took on issues such
as reforming hospitals into a free market system, he could
nullify the national health care advocates as well as helping the
people by reducing health costs.

Rush agrees that this would be the best thing to do, but from a
political standpoint he doesn't see people voting for Bush
because of it. Ed, though, thinks that if Bush shows people that
their health costs will drop, they will vote Republican. Rush,
however, thinks that most people think health insurance is an
employer benefit, and they therefore don't pay these costs
directly. This, of course, is part of the problem - people don't
care about their health costs because they don't pay it. Rush is
all for Ed's idea, but still doesn't think that Bush could fire
people up that much about it.

*BREAK*

Phone   Bob from Queens, NY

Bob is a long-time listener, and it bothers him that Rush makes
fun of people like Jerry Brown, Clinton, Perot, and so forth.
Although he likes Rush's updates, he does get tired of Rush and
the rest of the media, who seem to be more interested in
candidates' personalities as opposed to their capabilities for
the office that they are running for. He is afraid that if this
type of thing keeps up, the US will end up with "squeaky clean
candidates who can't do the job."

Rush says that if this did happen, "it would be about time," and
he holds Bob through the break.

*BREAK*

SECOND HOUR

Phone   Bob from Queens, NY (continued)

Rush says that he shouldn't be lumped in with those in the media
who used the tabloid reports of Gennifer Flowers, or with ABC
News which used anonymous sources against Jerry Brown. Rush
admits that he makes fun of these people, but he does try to
concentrate his attacks on the issues. Bob says that his point is
that the Gennifer Flowers story came out two years earlier in the
tabloids, but nobody was interested; however, when the major news
media picks up these stories, they give them credibility. He
hates the way the media now jump at a story "when they smell the
smallest drop of blood."

Rush agrees and thinks that the media is not accountable to
anyone; the media is the only business in which journalists (the
people who have direct contact to their customers) don't have to
respond to complaints. Market forces do have some effect in that
customers have left the network news shows in large numbers, but
the media still thinks that the public are fools and thus,
journalists shouldn't have to listen to the customers'
complaints.

Of course, this is why Rush's show is so successful - it is doing
the job that the mainstream media should be doing. For example,
the major media presented the recent abortion rally in
Washington, DC as if it were the most important issue that
Americans were concerned about. The media's sympathy about this
rally was obvious.

Rush also thinks that the media makes suspects out of anyone who
runs for office, and they seem to think that their job is to
destroy these candidates. Bob, though, doesn't want a perfect
person; he wants an "arm twister" who won't pander to every
special interest group. For example, Clinton is a life-long
Baptist, but he is telling Jews that he's going to have a kosher
kitchen.

Bob admits that he voted for Bush in 1988, but he thinks that the
Willie Horton ad appealed only to people's baser instincts. Rush
says that Willie Horton was released on furlough, castrated a man
and then raped the man's wife. Rush therefore can't believe that
people are making Horton a victim in this case. Bush and Roger
Ailes were simply showing the strong-arm tactics that Bob seems
to like.

Bob admits that he didn't know the full story about Willie
Horton, but he thinks that there were more effective ads that
could have been used. Rush, though, says that the people are not
fools; they didn't vote for Bush because of racism. They voted
against Dukakis because he was soft on crime, which is something
the people are very concerned about.

Rush goes back to Bob's original point, though, about how the
media focuses on a candidate's character. The founding fathers
made it quite clear in the Federalist Papers that a politician's
character was of primary importance. Bob, though, thinks that
Benjamin Franklin did not have a sterling character, and Thomas
Jefferson was rumored to have produced a lot of illegitimate
children with his slaves.

Rush asks, though, if this means that having illegitimate
children is a qualification for public office; Bob doesn't think
so but doesn't think it should be a disqualification either. A
lot of politicians before Watergate had affairs and such, but the
media didn't report them then.

Rush bets that this whole issue will be a coming question, given
the media's incredible microspection of candidates. This is
especially true now that there are candidates appearing from the
60s generation, and the media is going to have a field day
exposing every single one of their peccadillos.

*BREAK*

Phone   Linda from Simi Valley, CA

Linda gives "Rodney King dittos" since Simi Valley is where the
Rodney King beating trial is being held. Linda is divorced, and
she and her children are on welfare. However, she totally agrees
with Rush's comments about Tommy Thompson and his welfare
reforms; she firmly supports encouraging people to get off of
welfare, especially by supporting education.

She is also tired of being considered inferior just because she
is on welfare; Rush says that this is similar to the way many
liberals view those in Affirmative Action programs. These
recipients of government entitlements are viewed as incapable of
ever taking care of their own lives without having big government
assistance. Linda admits that she sees a lot of people who work
harder staying on welfare than they would if they got a job. She,
though, is going to college and is studying hard for a job with
the Air Force.

Linda puts her 5-year old daughter on the phone and she has just
enough time to say "hi" before the break.

*BREAK*

Items

o       A California woman soaked herself in gasoline and drove
an "ugly van" to the United Nations. She threatened to set
herself on fire unless the UN approved her demands. The woman was
protesting the use of American taxes going to the Persian Gulf
War. Rush wonders if this gasoline technique is documented in
Derek Humphrey's book "Final Exit."

Rush calls this a "timely protest that shows this woman is on top
of things," given that the war was concluded a year ago. However,
it could have taken the woman a year to drive to New York from
California, especially as her van looks like it broke down
several times on the way. Rush tells the woman that if it weren't
for the war, she couldn't have afforded the gasoline she poured
on herself.

o       A congressional panel condemned the federal government's
response to AIDS in light of the rising incidence of the disease
in teenagers. Rush sarcastically says that spending more on AIDS
than on cancer ($4 billion) is certainly a "disgrace." The
congressional commission, though, said that federal efforts are
hampered by "moralistic conditions" that prevent explicit
information about sex and condoms. Of course, in California the
teaching of sex education has coincided with a "monstrous rise"
in teenage pregnancy; explicit sex education was started in 1973,
which is also about the time the pregnancy rise started.

Rush says that this same philosophy could be used for drug abuse.
Kids should be taught everything they need to know about drugs -
the different types that are available, how they are made and
used, how to deal with drug dealers, and how to build bongs and
roach clips in art class. Obviously, once the "moralists" are
gotten out of the way, everything would be much better.

However, the real problem is that schools are teaching kids
everything about sex except that "you've got no business having
sex if you're 12, 13, and 14."

Phone   Ed from Lake Charles

Ed saw Perot's speech on gun control on CSPAN; Perot said that he
wasn't against gun collectors, hunters, or people using guns for
self-defense. Instead he said that guns must be taken off the
street. Rush says that Perot has changed his position on gun
control - previously, Perot had said that police had to be given
more power to remove guns from private hands. Perot is now saying
that guns have to be taken off the hands of criminals, which is a
lot different from his previous pro-gun control statements.

Similarly, Perot changed his position on abortion in order to
please his supporters. A couple of weeks ago, Perot said it was
the "women's choice and decision." Last weekend, though, he was
asked if he was pro-choice, and he replied that there was a major
problem with "responsibility." He stated that people "aren't
rabbits" and have to be more responsible with the activity that
causes pregnancy.

Rush says that Perot is heavily supported by anti-gun control and
pro-life voters. Thus, he's moderating his previous positions to
please them. More than 90% of abortions are performed as birth
control; if this were not true - if most abortions were the
result of rape and incest, pro-choicers would be hammering this
point home every time they speak. Also, pro-choicers do not want
responsibility brought into this because they don't want to
discuss the consequences of sex, which would bring morality into
the debate. If they can keep the discussion on abortion and
condoms, they can then avoid moral issues and continue to believe
that sex should not have any consequence.

*BREAK*

Phone   Bob from Oceanside, CA

Bob says that his local paper had a political cartoon by Ben
Sergeant which showed the Democratic donkey committing suicide.
It was reading Humphrey's suicide book which offers four options:
1) gun 2) pills 3) noose and 4) brokered convention.

James Morin's cartoon shows the campaign headquarters for the
presidential candidates; each headquarters has a sign on it:

o       "Is Paul Tsongas running for President or not?"
Headquarters.

o       "Oh well, no choice but to vote for Slick Willie Clinton"
Headquarters.

o       "I can't believe I'm actually voting for Brown"
Headquarters.

o       "Hold your nose and vote for Pat Buchanan" Headquarters.

o       "Oh no, not George Bush for President again
Headquarters."

Bob says that they missed Perot's slogan: "Electing me for
president is the highest priority Headquarters."

Bob says that Rush's audience is also growing because the defense
industry is being cut back; thus, all the defense workers that
have been laid off can now listen to him. Rush laughs and says
that he "resents" this accusation; he compares it to the
Democrats' accusation that people are listening to him only
because of the bad economic times. "There are more than the out
of work listening to me," he firmly states.

*BREAK*

Phone   Ben from South Bend, IN

Ben has a "liberal, bed-wetting type bleeding heart" wife, and
during one of the news shows, either Paul Tsongas or Graham
Rudman said that the US was going to add another $1 trillion to
the federal deficit. He wonders what happened to George Bush's no
new taxes pledge; Rush says that the 1990 tax increase was
supposed to reduce the budget deficit to $60 million by 1995,
which is now of course impossible.

Rush comments that both Tsongas and Rudman are getting more
attention now that they are outsiders. They somehow are perceived
as more moral and more worthy of attention now that they are out
of official politics.

*BREAK*

THIRD HOUR

Update  Feminist         (The Forrester Sisters, "Men" with "in
your face" slogan)

Anita Hill claimed during the Clarence Thomas hearings that she
had no political or monetary motivations for her testimony
against Thomas. Anita Hill, though, is getting $11,000 for a
speech in which she talks about sexual harassment and the evils
of men. At a recent speech to 2000 University of New Mexico
students she got a 3 minute standing ovation before she even
spoke. Rush comments that he would like to disguise himself as
"Bella Abzug's long-lost cousin from Mongolia" so that he could
watch one of these "one giant menstrual cramps for three hours."

Also, the University of Oklahoma has announced that Anita Hill
will moderate a forum later this month on racial and sexual
harassment. Rush compares this to Willie Nelson giving a tax
seminar. He then plays his commercial for EIB's Feminazi Trading
Cards. He comments that Phil Donahue is planning on playing this
commercial during Rush's appearance on it this afternoon. Rush
bets that there will be "shock and outrage" among the undoubtedly
liberal audience.

Items

o       Today's San Francisco Chronicle reports that Talia Shire
endorsed Jerry Brown in Santa Monica. They were standing on a
stage made with recycled garbage, along with "4000 of Jerry
Brown's closest friends." Shire said that she was there "on
behalf of the ozone layer. If you vote for anyone other than
Jerry Brown, you are voting for planetary death."

Shire also commented on a number of issues such as the death of
Mayan civilization. Rush says that this only proves Brown's
supporters are "kooks" - these liberals have adopted
constituencies that cannot speak for themselves; if the ozone
could speak it would probably tell people like Shire to "leave me
alone."

o       "Ecocide in the USSR" (by Murray Feshbach of Georgetown
University and Alfred Friendly Jr.) is a new book that chronicles
the economic and environmental disasters that resulted from
Soviet Communism's 70 year rule. The book says the following:

-       Nearly three fourths of the Soviet Union's surface water
is polluted; one-third of this polluted water is untreated.

-       DDT was banned by the Soviet government in the 70s
(before it was banned in the US) but was used secretly until the
late 1980s.

-       Pesticide use in the Caucasias has resulted in cancer
being the only cause of death in some villages.

-       Chemical concentrations are so high on the southern shore
of the Aral Sea that doctors tell women to avoid breast feeding
because the mother's milk is toxic.

-       870 tons of pollutants are released into the air each
year by the Soviet Union's largest steel plant, and 34% of adults
and 67% of adults in the area have some respiratory illness.

-       Two out of every five graduates of Soviet medical schools
entered service unable to read an electrocardiogram. Half of 400
Khazakistan physicians were ignorant about 16 widely-used drugs.

Rush comments "man, what a country! What we need is a
government-run health system." The Soviet Union also shows what
happens when the government owns the land - it "protects it from
evil, greedy capitalists."

*BREAK*

Rush comments on President Bush's federal order that requires
federal contractors to post notices informing employees that they
can request that their union fees not be used for political
purposes to which they are opposed. Thus, employees have the
right to tell their unions not to use their dues for purposes
that they don't agree with.

Rush calls this right "common sense," and it was decided by the
Supreme Court in 1988 in the case "Communications workers vs.
Beck." Unions call this outrageous, of course, and say that it is
purely political; Thomas Foley called it "dangerous," which is
what the Democrats always say when one of their unfair advantages
is taken away from them. The point, though, is that the President
is only enforcing a Supreme Court decision.

Besides, Democrats shouldn't be worried about this - unions
represent only 16% of American workers, and a lot of workers vote
Republican. Rush, for example, is a union member and he is glad
that his dues will not be supporting any more Democratic
candidates.

Phone   Tom from Buffalo, NY

Tom wonders why Jack Kemp decided in 1988 not to become
Commissioner of the NFL and instead joined the Bush
administration. Rush says that Kemp considers himself to be the
number one heir to the Reagan legacy, and that Kemp is the best
at articulating that legacy right now. Kemp thinks his political
future is tied to the Republican party and to his loyalty to it.
Kemp may therefore be a powerful force in 1996.

*BREAK*

Phone   Keith from North Augusta, SC

Keith gives "planetary death supporter and wife rapist" dittos.
Rush quickly explains that "planetary death supporter" refers to
Talia Shire's remarks in support of Jerry Brown, and that
Katherine McKinnon claims that all sex is rape, but that women
are blinded by thoughts of love.

Keith says that his wife is an obstetrician gynecologist (OBGYN)
and that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
(ACOG) has stated it will no longer hold meetings in states that
ban abortions. Keith and his wife are both pro-life, and they are
outraged that ACOG has assumed that they are speaking for all
OBGYNs. A counter-organization, the American Association of Pro-
Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists, has been formed.

Rush says that many feminist organizations assume that they are
speaking for all women, assuming that anybody who disagrees with
them are not worthy of notice. Keith is scared by the fact that
so many OBGYNs see no conflict between bringing a life into the
world, and ending it. His wife is trying to find a position with
a hospital that doesn't do abortion, which is turning out to be
very difficult.

Keith would like to give the address for his pro-life group, but
Rush refuses because although he supports such groups, he's been
stung before by callers who purposely give him the wrong
addresses and/or phone numbers. Also, he doesn't want to have his
show turned into a national bulletin board for every organization
in America. However, Rush thinks that Keith's comments will
encourage people to call on their own.

The reason, though, so many people are willing to accept abortion
is that they have convinced themselves that they are not dealing
with life, but "rights" or some other nebulous concept. This way
they insulate themselves from morality. Abortionists also don't
like to consider the possibility of what would have happened had
their mother aborted them.

Life simply begins at conception because it can't begin at any
other time. It is at the moment of conception when a person's DNA
configuration is decided, producing a person unlike any other in
the history of the world.

Rush talked to one woman at a dinner party over the weekend, who
tried to change his mind on abortion. Rush, though, stopped the
conversation because the woman was dealing with the issue on a
purely personal, self-focused, emotional basis, and he was trying
to look at it logically, from a sociological standpoint. Abortion
cheapens the value of life and encourages the moral decay of
America.

The woman asked if Rush had children, and when she found out he
didn't said "well, that explains it." Rush wonders why having
children would make you more likely to support abortion? If
anything, having children would seem to make you pro-life.
<<Obviously, Rush has not been woken up at 3 a.m. every night for
3 weeks by a colicky baby.>>

*BREAK*

Phone   John from Tampa, FL

Over the weekend, John heard Rush read a letter about a
California feminist organization that was telling kids that any
sexual contact between a man and a woman is rape. Rush tells him
that this is what Katherine McKinnon is teaching her college
students at the University of Michigan. John thinks that she
doesn't have a life and belongs in the kitchen "cooking and
cleaning." There are only two other things that women like this
are good for, but John is too much of a gentleman to say them on
the air.

Rush pauses for a moment and thanks John for his "restraint and
discipline." John, though, would like Rush's address so that he
can mail Rush some items. Rush says that if EIB has a number of
addresses, depending on whether you your letter should be read.
The EIB staff, though, thinks that giving out multiple addresses
will be confusing, so Rush decides to give out one address:

        EIB Network, 2 Penn Plaza, 17th Floor, NYC, NY 10121

If, however, you don't think that Rush will want to read your
letter, "put a picture of Elvis on the envelope." If you do have
mail that Rush should read, address it to "Kit Carson." Kit
evidently starts screaming at Rush about this, and Rush changes
his mind - just send your mail to the EIB address above.

Phone   Eric from Lewisburg, PA

Eric's college is celebrating Earth day by holding an "Earth hug"
at 3 o'clock - the brochure encourages students to "participate
in a ritual to invoke the creative powers of the Earth to enrich
us all." Eric is going home for Easter so he won't be around for
this.

Rush calls this another example of idiotic arrogance - man thinks
he is actually achieving somewhat by doing an "Earth hug." The
only thing man can do is get out of the way; the Earth will be
creative enough on its own. Rush bets that 99% of the people at
the celebration will be Jerry Brown supporters.

*BREAK*

People are asking Rush to sponsor another cruise, and he is
trying to find a suitable cruise ship. He is currently looking at
the USS Midway, which is being decommissioned. Of course, there
must be a presidential suite aboard since Rush "is not staying
where you people are staying."

Phone   Doug from Half Moon Bay, CA

Doug called just to talk to Bo, and says that Bo has his own
"sub-cult" going. Doug wants to disagree with the previous
caller's assertion that Thomas Jefferson had a black mistress.
This theory become popular when a feminist, Susan Brownmiller,
wrote a book based on some political hate mail that she found
which made these assertions. Brownmiller, though, didn't do any
more research and thus failed to note that the man making the
assertions was a job-seeker that Jefferson rejected. This man
also made a number of other allegations, including one that said
George Washington had sex with his farm animals.

Rush comments that he is researching a similar myth for his book
- liberals claim that the country's founding fathers didn't
believe in God, and this is a flat-out lie.

-- 
John Switzer-Hoek          | "You hear it, you see it, 
(note yuppy hyphenation)   | you want to turn away, but 
74076.1250@Compuserve.com  | you CAN'T! It's Ren and Stimpy!"
jrs@netcom.com             | Happy, Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Joy!
Organization: Senior, Mathematics, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA