HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: pynq@quads.uchicago.edu (George Jetson)
Subject: Re: drink, drive, die, sen~or
Reply-To: pynq@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: D. J. Dougherty & Associates
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:26:28 GMT

In article <1992Sep26.174046.23896@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:

>...   [UL alert]   In Bulgaria, first-time offenders get off
>easily.  But a second conviction results in execution.  In El
>Salvador, your first offense is your last offense.  Driving under
>the influence of alcohol can result in execution by firing squad.
>
>...  To inhibit U.S. drivers more effectively from taking one
>more snort before hitting the road, isn't there a punishment
>somewhere between the paltry fines some americans get away with
>and a Salvadoran firing squad?

First of all, I'd bet that most of this is UL/scare tactics by [MS]ADD, et al.

Further, assuming it to be true, has anyone stopped to consider the
political implications of all this?  Whaddya bet most of those who are
executed, are not exactly "friends of the state"?

Central to the American way of doing the criminal justice thing is the
idea that you keep the penalties low and make it up on the volume.

To do otherwise, is to make the executions that do occur be largely
motivated by political considerations.

************************************************************************
A note to new readers:  the weasely :-) symbol is frowned upon in this
group.  Any questions, see Phil Gustafson who will gladly rearrange your
diodes for you.
			- From the AFU FAQ -

	- pynq@quads.uchicago.edu, who is still costing the net
	  hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars, every time he posts -
************************************************************************
From: pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Montykins)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: smll tlk
Date: 27 Sep 92 08:21:02 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <1992Sep27.030612.28396@rose.com>, bill.dehaan@rose.com (bill dehaan) writes:
>
>Date Entered: 09-26-92 23:00
>n mssg <1992Sp24.150455.13187@ct17.df.dc.cm>, snps wrts:
>
>sn>| Th fllwng rtcl cntns n vwls.  nl trnd prfssnls shld attmpt t rd ths artcl.
>sn>| D nt tr ths t hm.  N rspnsblt s ssmd fr th s r rlblt f ths rtcl.
>
>cn lv wtht vwls, n prblm. w'r ll trnd prfssnls hr, ftr ll. nd w'll try
                                                                      ^
>ths t hm f w dmn wll fl lk t.

Cheater.

 -Paul "Monty" Ashley

bL: Once you're inside a movie theater, for ANY REASON, the
proprietors are not allowed to throw you out.
-- 
  "Didn't expect to see me again,         | pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu
eh, Svengali?"                            |  [Not a UCSD employee]
     -- Bugs Bunny                        |
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: robcruic@intacc.uucp (Robert Cruickshank)
Subject: Chicken Cannon- Photograph sighting!
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 03:24:59 GMT
Organization: Inter/Access' Matrix BBS


Remember the thread about testing aircraft windows by firing chickens at them?
I was looking through the May 1943 issue of Mechanix Illustrated, and ther, on
page 39 is a photograph of the cannon in action! It is shown firing an
obviously un-plucked chicken through a window mounted on a steel frame. A
second photo shows a shattered window with, yes, chicken feet hanging out of
it!. (There is also a really bad cartoon to illustrate the concept). The
cannon itself, owned by Westinghouse was 20 feet long, and could propel a
chicken at 400 mph. 

----
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Rob Cruickshank               robcruic@intacc.uucp
                          Inter/Access Artists' Centre 
                                 Toronto
------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: sasegb@toklas.unx.sas.com (Elizabeth Brownrigg)
Subject: Oh, No, William and Mary Won't Do
Originator: sasegb@toklas.unx.sas.com
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 20:44:19 GMT
Organization: SAS Institute Inc.
Followup-To: Illustrious Alumni


In article <1992Oct2.004308.4273@cabezon.uucp>, larryh@cabezon.uucp (Larry Huntley) writes:

|> >Does anyone else know someone famous who went to their college, or know
|> >someone who does?
|> >
|>     Baseball player Ted Williams went to my high school (Herbert Hoover
|>     HS in San Diego, CA)
|>
|>     - Larry "never met him" Huntley
|>

Me and Glenn Close were in the same class at William and Mary.

Elizabeth "She claims to have met me, but I don't remember it"
Brownrigg

P.S. - Does anyone know why the subject line is in a Steely Dan song?
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Disco "Snuff" Recording?
From: rdale@cstp.umkc.edu
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 05:13:10 GMT
Organization: UM - Kansas City, Computer Science

>>years.  In the mid-1970's a disco group named the "Ohio Players"
>>had a hit record entitled "Love Rollercoaster."  About half way
>>through the song a very schrill and "chilling" scream can be heard
>>behind the beat.  The story was that one of the backup singers had


> album Honey bought in 1975 when I was in grade school. However given the 
> quality of the tape(poor) it just sounded like someone screaming. I have to 


	My recollection of the story is that it was a murder taking place
in the next studio.  This supposes that any recording studio with walls
thin enough to hear a scream through would schedule two groups in
adjacent studios at the same time. . .
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jeq@i88.isc.com (Jonathan E. Quist)
Subject: Re: Kirk VS Picard (was "Lost In Space" was better)
Organization: INTERACTIVE Systems Corporation, Naperville, IL
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 05 Oct 1992 21:25:15 GMT

In article <6857@blue.cis.pitt.edu.UUCP> tjw@vms.cis.pitt.edu (TJ Wood) writes:
>In article <25923@oasys.dt.navy.mil>, goldman@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Kenneth Goldman) writes:
>
>> Sure, he beat up on some Klignons in the episode where Worf had to go
>> home to try to save the family name.  Of course, they did outnumber
>> him and eventually a little old lady had to help him.
>
>Pound for pound, Kirk has kicked far more *ss than Picard.  Jean-Luc talks
>his way out of situations.  He calls conferences.  He askes advice.
>
>KIRK comes in peace and shoots to kill.
>

So then, you're saying that Kirk is like George Bush, and Picard is
like Perot.  Who equates with Clinton?  Damon Tog?  (No, that's Perot as
well...)  Well, Riker plays jazz trombone, not quite a saxophone, but...
-- 
Jonathan E. Quist                              INTERACTIVE Systems Corporation
jeq@i88.isc.com  '71 CL450-K4 "Gleep", DoD #094        Naperville, IL
        There are many things a person should experience in a lifetime.
       Among them are an infant's first cry, and an infant's first laugh.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: barth@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (barth.richards)
Subject: Ultrasonic TV remotes (was Re: The Network from Hell)
Organization: AT&T
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 18:56:46 GMT


In article <1992Sep30.164417.5906@sbil.co.uk> jim@spitws117.sbil.co.uk writes:
>In article J7s@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG, phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG (Phil Gustafson) writes:
>>The ultrasonic ones I remember were cheap, but reliable. You pushed a big
>>fat button on a strong spring whose energy whacked something that made a sound
>>the TV could hear, but you couldn't.
>
>[...]
>
>This thread reminds me of a story my dad told me: he claimed that a
>friend of his (spot the UL) had converted his TV to ultrasonic remote
>control by himself, but had got the frequencies messed up.  Consequently,
>his TV changed channel every time he opened a can of beer :-)

In the early seventies, my parents had an RCA TV with this type of remote,
and we found that all manner of sounds could make the channels change.
Some of the sounds that come to mind are:

  o jingling change in pocket (not consistently),
  o jingling keys (consistently when done near the TV, less consistently
    when further away)
  o one of my parents' friend's voice (very consistently, channel started
    changing almost as soon as he opened his mouth).

Opening a can of beer sonds like it would be well within the realm of
possibility.

-- 
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
88  Barth Richards                   "Language is a virus from outer space."  88
88  att!ihlpf!barth                            - William S. Burroughs         88
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
From: jeq@i88.isc.com (Jonathan E. Quist)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: UL Chippendales and crabs
Date: 2 Oct 92 19:58:15 GMT
Organization: INTERACTIVE Systems Corporation, Naperville, IL

In article <1992Oct1.205432.13841@unislc.uucp> dw@unislc.uucp (Dan Wright) writes:
>How could she tolerate the critter being in her eye for more than a few
>minutes?  Wouldn't she rub it or lift the lid and take it out herself
>right away?

I think you're assuming a crab is as large as the ones you get in seafood
restaurants...

> When something gets in your eye, how often do you decide to
>simply leave it there?  I've heard stories about people "losing" contact
>lenses and other small objects in their eyes, but I have trouble believing
>these stories because my eyes are no big mystery to me.

You've obviously never lost a contact in your eye, back where it can't be seen
by direct inspection.  Most people have no reason to develop their sense of
touch in their eye sockets.  Consequently, you don't just know that an
object is "on the right side, a little below center and 1/8 inch back",
just that "something's in there".  I've had instances where I knew I'd
lost the lens, but couldn't see it in a mirror, and couldn't detect it
by pressing on the outside of the eyelids, and had absolutely no idea
which side of the eye it was on.  And one case where the lens happened to
lodge in a non-irritating way - I thought I'd lost it on the floor,
and wore glasses for 3 days until I happened to rub at an itch in my eye
and had the lens pop back into position.  My father had a coal cinder
(from watching a locomotive passing under the bridge he was on) imbedded in
his eye socket for over 30 years, before it somehow worked itself loose
again.  It caused a lot of tearing for the first week, and after that just
minor irritation every couple of months.

 Only unfortunate
>"mentally challenged" people should have difficulty taking things out of
>their eyes.

Thank you.  Didn't you notice the log in your eye?
-- 
Jonathan E. Quist                              INTERACTIVE Systems Corporation
jeq@i88.isc.com  '71 CL450-K4 "Gleep", DoD #094        Naperville, IL
        There are many things a person should experience in a lifetime.
       Among them are an infant's first cry, and an infant's first laugh.
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:24842 alt.tasteless:10821
From: mxsst1+@pitt.edu (Michael   Stroucken)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.tasteless
Subject: Re:  Notorious Toothpaste Skit
Date: 4 Oct 92 22:53:10 GMT
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

I've seen this skit, where a guy at a bus stop spits out the gum he was chewing,then another guy walks along, steps into the gum, and walks a while until he
notices, then peels the gum off and sticks it onto a streetlight post. 
A girl comes by, leans against it, notices the gum, and sticks it into her
mouth and chews it.
YUCK!

MS
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Citecheck Hell)
Subject: License Plates and Prisons
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 05:06:41 GMT

Story told by friend:
	Series of complaints about paint peeling from license plates
	led to investigation by warden at prison where plates were
	made.  Turns out unhappy inmates were urinating in paint pots.

UL?  Seems implausible that license plates are painted anyway like this
(though perhaps one could substitute vats for pots).

Furthermore, I wonder how true the cliche of prisoners manufacturing
license plates still is, if it ever was.

Ted "and then they all had Coronas after work" Frank
-- 
           .. . . .  .  .   .    .     .     .    .   .  .  . . . ..
          ted frank | thf2@midway.uchicago.edu | standard disclaimers
         the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jlysagh@hubcap.clemson.edu (james joseph lysaght)
Subject: Re: ATM Transactions
Organization: Clemson University
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 15:33:47 GMT


>In article <1992Sep30.024550.17034@cs.mcgill.ca> mikey@cs.mcgill.ca (The Procrastinator P1000) writes:
>>
>>Ok, how about this (It happened)
>>
>>[Woman leaves behind $600 deleted]
>>
>>Now, I chased the woman (she was still in the branch) and gave her the 
>>money. But if I had kept it, am I guilty of anything?  (Apart from
>>East-coast "F*** You" morals?)
>>

Yes... remember the puralator courrier deal years back.  Money fell out
of a puralator courrier van.  Some guy picked it up and tried to keep it
on the finders keepers loosers weepers claim.  He went to jail.  Money
is property like anything else.  It is not yours to take just because
someone misplaced it.  There was a lady here in Clemson SC I saw at a
bank one day bitching herself out because she had depostied several
hundred dollars cash to an ATM and but she put the envelop in the wrong
slot, back in the supply slot, so whoever used the next envelop got her
money.  She was pretty mad!

Jim
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: UL Chippendales and crabs
From: derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne)
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 92 04:25:59 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand

In article <1992Oct2.212414.17677@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com> billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson) writes:
>tjw@vms.cis.pitt.edu (TJ Wood) writes:
>: 
>: Now, if he would have yelled: "Get out of the HOUSE immediately" I would
>: believe it was true. ;-)
>: 
>: Terry "Get AWAY from your terminal IMMEDIATELY!!!!" Wood
>
>Why? Is yours starting to vibrate? Mine isn't -yet.

No,  but the repair man just found two severed fingers lodged 
in the keyboard...

There was this girl took her Pitt Bull to the vet coz' it was sort of 
coughing a bit.  When she got home the phone was ringing and the vet said....

"Get away from your house we just found two whole burglars and a severed 
foot in your dogs throat."

Derek "I got home and my Mako shark was choking. I took it to the vet.." Tearne



-- 
Derek Tearne. -- derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz --  Fujitsu/ICL New Zealand -- 
Some of the more aware dinosaurs were worried about the environmental
consequences of an accident with the new Iridium enriched fusion reactor.  
"If it goes off only the cockroaches and mammals will survive..." they said.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Re: Mixed up translations
Date: Fri, 02 Oct 92 03:16:43 EDT
Organization: University of Michigan Engineering, Ann Arbor

In article <1992Oct1.180807.2326@HQ.Ileaf.COM> hal@HQ.Ileaf.COM (Hal Wadleigh) writes:
>Let's nor forget the classic Chevy Nova (I have one for sale, BTW) which did
>not get a warm reception in Spanish-speaking countries.
>
>No Va = Won't Go

Forget the Chevy Nova?  Not likely, since EVERYBODY and their BROTHER has
been DRILLING the fact that "Nova" means "doesn't go" in Spanish into
our HEADS with JACKHAMMER-like PRECISION.

Oh, by the way, I heard there was a computer program developed in the 
Fifties that was supposed to automate translation of Russian into English.
It rendered "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" into the Russian
for "The meat is rotten, but the vodka is holding out."  Is this true?

Larry "Ted, do you know?" Doering
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: pynq@quads.uchicago.edu (George Jetson)
Subject: Re: Radar Cars (was: stupid cop tricks & t)
Reply-To: pynq@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: D. J. Dougherty & Associates
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 01:31:11 GMT

In article <1992Sep17.141211.15666@husc3.harvard.edu> joltes@husc10.harvard.edu (Richard Joltes) writes:
>jdahl@rchland.vnet.ibm.com (Jared Dahl) writes:
>
>[description of photo radar deleted]
>
>I've been told that Connecticut (the state with even worse drivers than Mass,
>and some seriously pinheaded cops) is using this method, and I've been watching
>for any suspicious-looking cars along I84 during my trips through the state.  I
>have yet to receive any tickets (of course, the average speed is around 70MPH)
									^^^^^^
>and haven't seen one of the setups.  Some stuff I wonder about:

Speaking of which, is the average speed on the Maryland Turnpike still
about 90MPH?  (I haven't been there in some time now)

You think I'm kidding, don't you?  I'm not.  When I drove it back in '88,
I swear the average was 90 - that is, most of the traffic was going
between 85 and 95.  Driving any slower than 85 resulted in being passed
by *everyone*.

BTW, for the unitiated, I am talking about the stretch of I95 running
through Maryland.

************************************************************************
A note to new readers:  the weasely :-) symbol is frowned upon in this
group.  Any questions, see Phil Gustafson who will gladly rearrange your
diodes for you.
			- From the AFU FAQ -

	- pynq@quads.uchicago.edu, who is still costing the net
	  hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars, every time he posts -
************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Subject: cancer-less cigarettes
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 14:33:53 GMT


	At least two newsreaders last night reported on a guy who
used to work for a cigarette company.  He claimed they had long
ago developed a cancer-less cigarette.  I don't know whether this
belongs in alt.conspiracy or AFU.  I had heard legends like this
for years.  He claimed they didn't want to market the invention,
because they were worried about lawsuits concerning their normal
product.

	What's next, 200 mpg carburators?

	It's good to get confirmation of an awsome conspiracy theory/UL.

J.P."Cough, cough, wheeze " Papai
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: agillum@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Aaron C Gillum)
Subject: Re: Video taping rape
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 17:23:17 GMT

The most common UL around these parts, (Columbus, Ohio) is of a frat party 
where a tipsy coe-ed peeks out a window. Someone comes up behind her and closes
the window. Then, everyone takes turns raping her, as she can't move. One of 
the upperclassman is supposedly taping it, and then sends all the participants 
a copy.

One of the participants gets the tape a few weeks later, and realizes that the 
women he raped was his (cousin/sister/even mom).



Aaron '*tap tap tap* 'Is this thing on??'' Gillum
From: dbushong@wang.com (Dave Bushong)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Bill Making Scanners Illegal
Keywords: scanners cellular
Date: 28 Sep 92 14:11:02 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Wang Labs, Lowell MA, USA

In rec.radio.amateur.misc, teicher@news.weeg.uiowa.edu (Thomas Eicher) writes:


>The bill making the manufacture or importation of scanners capable of 
>receiving cellular frequencies illegal is H.R. 1674 - The Federal 
>Communications Authorization Act of 1991. (Reauthorizes and funds the F.C.C).
>It passed the House (9/24/91) by a 2/3 voice vote under a suspension 
>of the rules.

>The provision in question is section 8: Interception of Cellular
>Telecommunications.

>The bill is now before the Seneate Commerce Committee and has probably
>been assigned to the Communications Subcommittee.

>Members of the Subcommittee are: Democrats: Inouye (Chair), Hollings, Ford,
>Gore, Exon, Kerry (MA), Bentsen, Breaux; Republicans: Packwood, Pressler,
>Stevens, McCain, Burns, Gorton.

>Subcommittee Staff: Antoinette D. Cook, Senior Counsel, 227 Senate Hart
>Office Bldg., Washington, D.C. 20510-6132, 202-224-9340
>Regina Markey Keeney, Minority Senior Counsel, 554 Senate Dirksen Office
>Bldg, Washington, D.C. 20510-6132, 202-224-1251.

>Thomas Eicher                           teicher@umaxc.weeg.uiowa.edu
>U. Iowa Law Library                     n0efb@w0iuq.ia.usa.na

I crossposted this here since the subject seems to come up as to whether
or not it's illegal to listen to cell phone calls.

Dave
-- 
Dave Bushong, Wang Laboratories, Inc.
Project Leader, OCR products
Internet: dbushong@wang.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: bill.dehaan@rose.com (bill dehaan)
Subject: Possible UL alert(was
Organization: Rose Media Inc, Toronto, Ontario.
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 04:06:18 GMT
X-Gated-By: Usenet <==> RoseMail Gateway (v1.70)


Date Entered: 09-26-92 23:01
In message <1992Sep25.203226.9366@news.columbia.edu>,
lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:

cjl>>   "Base 8 is just like base 10, really...if you're missing two fingers."

cjl>But for most of us, we have 8 fingers on both hands.  The rest is, as they
cjl>say "all thumbs" so it's quite natural to use base 8.

Actually, the hands are base 8; the thumbs are just there for the carry.

----------------------------------+-----------------------------------------
Deus Ex Machina                   | Internet:   bill.dehaan@rose.com
Software Consulting and Gator Pit | Eradicate Hunger - Eat the homeless
----------------------------------+-----------------------------------------
---
   SLMR 2.1a   Unknown to the Wicked Witch, the squirt gun was loaded.
   RM 2.00 : RoseNet<=>Usenet Gateway : Rose Media 416-733-2285
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: ralph@cs.stanford.edu (Ralph Melton)
Subject: Creation of the World (was Re: Religion/Science )
Originator: ralph@Xenon.Stanford.EDU
Organization: CS Department, Stanford University, California, USA
Date: 26 Sep 92 20:51:47 GMT

In <1992Sep22.152202.23480@rose.com> bill.dehaan@rose.com (bill dehaan) writes:
>At the McMaster University physics department, there was a secretary in
>1983/84 who belonged to one of the more fundamentalist type sects. I
>can't remember the name of it, but it's one where they've confirmed that
>the earth was created on Tuesday, June 14th, 2:45am, 4004BC, or
>something like that, by adding up all the "begats" in the bible.

I have checked this in the original source, Archbishop James Ussher's
(1581-1656) book _Annals of the World Deduced from the Origin of Time
and Continued to the Beginning of the Emperour Vespasians Reign_.
Unfortunately, I don't have my copy of the relevant passage handy, so
I can't cite the page number or the exact phrasing.  Given that
disclaimer, though, I seem to vaguely remember that it's page 11,
which makes sense, considering that the creation of the world should
come close to the beginning of any reasonable history.

Ussher's phrasing is a little weird; as I remember it, he states that
there were XXX years, XXX days, and XXX hours from the creation of the
world to the birth of Jesus Christ.  Using that, and assuming that J.C.
was born at the midnight beginning December 25, 1 BC, I calculated
that according to him, the world was created at

	6:00 PM, October 23, 4004 BC.

If I get enough petitioning e-mail, I'll go look up the source in the
rare books collection again, and post the exact phrasing he uses.

At any rate, in just over four years, we will reach the 6,000-th
anniversary of the date Ussher decided on.

This deserves a party.  Even if you don't believe in the date, or
in the fundamental theology of the assertion (as in fact I don't),
this merits a party--after all, how often do you get to celebrate
the hexamillenial anniversary of _anything_, true or not?

At the very least, it seems an auspicious time for an AFU gathering.

Ralph Melton
-- 
"As a hushed commentary on my RL surroundings here... I hate people who think
Mike McDermott (Pog)