>From: tim@alberta.UUCP (The Bonehead)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: A Day in the Life of Bonehead
Date: 23 Jul 87 09:58:34 GMT
Organization: The New Family Home


  A day in the life of Bonehead

  First of all, we would like to repeat our self and say:
  "Bonehead is a pure, unadulterated, monochromatic,
  pasteurised, good THING! and we intend not to offend any one
  on purpose!" (Except for instance in the case of an
  accident.) (For example, "Betty, nice fruitbat you got
  there!") (Bonehead can have as many parenthetical follow-up
  type disconjunctive statements as he wants!) We are also
  smart on the good words and bad on the easy words! But
  nevertheless, or.

  Among the things Bonehead distributes, are prosperity,
  confusion, and prosperity again, but we never distribute
  knowledge or bad things as such.

  And now for our day....

  The first thing we do in our day is zoom around in West Edmonton
  Mall singing "Oh Christmas Tree" sometimes. Things bonehead likes
  to do in West Edmonton Mall: Straft coinds at fish in the pond
  when nobody else is looging (from the second floor)!!! If we must
  be late we will go up the down exkalator! But we ripped our
  PANTS! When we must be bored, we run down the up exkalator! On
  the whey home we like to fine animals, for instance, a
  PORKY-PINE, by ACCIDENT!!! Which brings us to BONEHEAD safety
  RULES regarding PORKY-PINES!!

  7.  Never try and force feed a porky-pine a rancid chogolid
      bar.

  6.  Never take a proky-pine to a BALOON SALE!

  5.  When putting a leash around a porky-pine--DON'T!!!!

  4.  Don't put our porky-pine in a plastig BAG!! His quills
      are very pointy and they can still bite us!

  3.  Don't take more than your share of porky-pine quills. He
      will fire them into us at speeds in excess of 100 km/h.
      (Even though it's a myth!)

  2.  If we already have a finger full of porky-pine quills
      don't even try to take any more out of his tale, because
      we have no DEXTERITY!!

  1.  There is a 10 percent chance of a porky-pine detonation:
      Therefore stay 10 feet awhey to counteract the
      probability of being stuck with a billion porky-pine
      quills, or you could wear a quill-proof vest, to protect
      our vital organ!

  And now for some official bonehead items, due to the
  incessant demands for our list!

  2.  Our official species is Homo Sapiens, or in other words,
      HUMAN BEENS!!!

  5.  Our official swear word is "frig". (We hope no one was
      seriously offended or had a heart attack).

  1.  Our official clause, for instance, is "for instance."

  2.  Even though Apple Jacks is a MAN's meal, and Pac Man
      surreal is an acewise exploration-type food, FROOT LOOBS
      are the official snag of the bonehead due to the high
      sugar content and the low nutritional value!

  4.  For instance, if we were writing an English exam, we
      could spell and wride nicely but we don't like to
      because we don't like them telling us what to do!

  e.  Bonehead abhors CARTILEDEGE! This is why we don't like
      shargs!!

  6.  How would MARSHMALLOWS get into a bone, for instance?

  $.  We are running out of capital letters so you will have
      to adjust to not being SCREEMEED at on the page. (oops
      we just used the rest of them up!)

  x.  we are also running out of the letter 'r' so, for
      instance, we might not have enough for the rest of this
      article.

  7.  ouw official whey of doing things is by accident.

  w.  bonehead does things as he sees fit, even if they awe (we awe
      using the lettew 'w' instead of the one we wan out of)
      totally bad but not, fow instance, illegal.

  13. the official whey of talking to bonehead is thwough the mts
      messagesystem. look at old gwinds if you do not know how to
      do this.

  since we fowgot by accident the west of the safety wules, this is
  all we have to say, so fow instance, good bye.
-- 

Copyright 1985 The Bonehead.  All rights reserved.



-- 
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.   \  (414)CRUSH-13
T. Flynn's Casa de Interesting: 1755 N Cambridge Ave #306 Milwaukee WI 53202    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre