From: jpak@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Jim Pak)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: Asking someone his "nationality" (Today's "Dear Abby")
Date: 23 Jul 92 21:20:45 GMT
Article-I.D.: oakhill.1992Jul23.212045.18628
Reply-To: jpak@manute.sps.mot.com
Distribution: na
Organization: Motorola Inc.  Austin, Tx.

In article <24819@dog.ee.lbl.gov> kevin@daffy.ee.lbl.gov (Kevin Gong) writes:
>The original question was "Where are you from?"  Now, maybe I'm a little
>strange, but when someone asks me where I'm from, the last place on my mind
>is China (especially considering I've never been there).

How many generations removed from China are you?  That might have a lot to
do with explaining why you and I think differently on this.

>I've asked people that question, and they've asked me, and I can't remember
>it ever having hidden meanings.  When I ask someone where they're from, I
>expect them to tell me where they're from.

OK, so you're a more semantically correct asker of questions than some others.
So what?  You're assuming that the way you ask questions and the way questions
are asked of you have to be with the exact same intent.  That's kind of un-
realistic, IMO.

Have you lived in areas where there were very few Asians?  Have you ever
lived in a "hick" town?  If you have, there is **NO** way you could have
encountered that question without the issue of your ethnicity at least
popping up in your mind.

I guess this is an encouraging thing, since it means some of you see
yourselves so much as Americans that you can't even see that the question
often means something other than what's literally being asked.  On the
other hand, it does strike me as at least a little bit naive.

>If you asked a 4th or 5th generation American with a southern accent where
>they were from, and they said "Scotland," you'd probably be offended.

Because in most areas of America, a white person who speaks English without
a "foreign" accent is the "norm."  Nobody seems all that interested in their
ethnicity (actually, that wasn't always true when I lived back East).  But
as someone who either looks visibly "foreign" or talks visibly "foreign,"
the issue of your ethnicity is going to come up sometimes.  That's life.
Why be surprised that you as an Asian American don't get exactly the same
type of reaction from some others as a "typical" White American?

>I'm not offended if someone asks me where I'm from.  I simply tell them, the
>SF Bay Area, simply because I never think they're asking me my ethnicity.

Oh, what an innocent child.  :-)

A lot of this depends on context, too.  Depending on where you are (location
in the US, I mean), who's asking that question, the way it's being asked
(sometimes facial expressions can even tell something here), what were the
questions before that, stuff like that, I can usually discern what they're
talking about.  Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying it's a sin or
anything to answer in the honest way you do, but do you always answer the
same no matter what the circumstances?  Even in a town where you're pretty
sure most of the people haven't met too many Asians?  In certain circum-
stances, your honesty comes off to me as coyness (or else extreme naievete).
No big deal, though.  If they're really curious, they'll come at you with
another question.

>I agree with Nina...This is not an earth-shaking problem.  But "Abby"
>should realize that there are Asian-Americans, and they consider themselves
>Americans, and when someone asks them where they are from, they will reply
>"Cincinatti,"

Ooh, people from Cincinnati aren't going to be happy with the way you spelled
that.  :-)

>not because they're avoiding an implied question, but because they're
>answering the stated one.

True.  But realize that sometimes, the AA in question *is* being kind of coy
by answering in that way, even if it is technically a correct answer.  Don't
forget, some AAs haven't embraced their status as Americans as thoroughly as
you and Nina have.

Jim