From: bh@anarres.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Brian Harvey)
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
Subject: Re: Youth Protection
Date: 11 Oct 92 15:02:46 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: anarres.cs.berkeley.edu

noraa@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (aaron.l.hoffmeyer) writes:
>What I am concerned about are social workers and psychologists who
>basically believe we should all be in therapy all the time.  I mean,
>what did humanity do before all you folks knew all the answers and how
>much have you improved things?  Really, have crime, sexual abuse, child
>abuse, delinquency, vandalism, suicide et. al. decreased since the
>advent of modern, popular psychology?
                   ^^^^^^^

I think you are unfairly mixing up two things here.  The psychology
practiced by therapists is not the same as what you get reading self-help
books about co-dependence and so on.  Much of the latter is shallow and
worthless.  And even when the books have good ideas in them, just reading
about them isn't likely to be enough for someone with a real problem.

>What psychologists and social workers do, the family, church and
>community used to do - and with a lot more concern and empathy for those
>involved.  You see, for those people, it wasn't a pay-check - it was
>life or death.

I agree with the first sentence of this.  No question, life is better if
you're part of a closely-knit community with lots of support available
for people who need it.  I think the second sentence is nonsense.  The
distinction is not between only-in-it-for-the-money therapists and normal
people whose lives are in danger!  Neither half of that is anything like
the truth.

Some therapists do make a lot of money.  Most do not, especially the ones who
work for public agencies, such as the school counselors and child protection
workers who are under attack in this thread.  Believe me, nobody goes to
work in a social service agency for the money.  Even in private practice,
where there is money to be made, the work is very demanding.  You can't get
caught up deeply in the lives of unhappy people and feel relaxed about it.
There are plenty of easier ways to make a lot of money, like selling real
estate.  (That's not a putdown of real estate agents; they do useful work
too.  But without all the anguish.)

As for this life-or-death thing, what on earth can it mean?  Most therapy
is not about suicide, and even when suicide is a possibility, it's the life
of the client that's at risk, not the life of the helper -- whether it be a
professional therapist or a caring relative or friend.  Is it the suggestion
that a therapist doesn't care if his or her client dies?  Now really!

>"So, how do you feel about that? - Oops, we were just getting
>somewhere, but I see your time is up.  Leave a check with the
>receptionist and schedule another appointment."

There is another client in the waiting room who *also* is in pain and
needs help.  What do you want the therapist to do?  It's not the fault
of therapists that so many people are in need of therapy these days.
That's the fault of disintegrating communities, as you say, and of
reduced social services and increased stresses of all kinds.  But to
attack therapists for this is like attacking the Red Cross because some
people die despite their disaster relief efforts.

>Sometimes people have to put the past in the past and get on with their
>lives - and that is something they must do for themselves - no
>psychologist or social worker can do it for them.  If anything,
>whipping dead horses can sometimes make things worse.

I think this is a dangerous thing to say to someone with a serious
emotional problem.  "Just pull yourself together!"  This adds guilt
to an already impossible situation.  (It's true that not every life
difficulty is a serious emotional problem.)  Sometimes people don't
understand the forces that are keeping them from "getting on with
their lives" and just telling them to try harder won't help.

Also, to get away from generalities and back to the discussion that
started all this, if the problem is that a kid is being abused by
parents, telling the kid to ignore it and get on with life is certainly
not going to be helpful.