From: sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Date: 8 Apr 92 20:38:58 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: AT&T

In article <1992Apr8.173620.19757@ultra.com> stcroix@ultra.com (Bill St. Croix) writes:
>In article <1992Apr7.183212.349@cbfsb.cb.att.com> sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein) writes:
>>In article <75nG027bc0Nq00@amdahl.uts.amdahl.com> jsp@pls.amdahl.com writes:

>Excuse me???  Excuse me...if you ask someone out, who is in a relationship
>and they say yes, you are responsible for breaking them up.

Don't agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am not responsible for the actions of
others, only for my own.  Let's give women a little credit here.  They
are more than capable to say "NO".  In fact, I think they are more 
capable at saying no than us men.  If their relationship was on the rocks,
and that's why she said "YES", I is still NOT my fault the relationship
was failing.

>just because you gave him/her an easy way out.

An easy way out.  So now we should only be allowed to exit a relationship
only if we suffer enough.  What if the woman is being abused?  Should we
sentence her to this abuse for say an additional month before giving her
an easy way out.

  It's like speeding and telling
>the officer, "Well sir, they make cars that go faster than the speed limit,
>so I'm not at fault."  You were the one in the driver's seat and you made
>the choice (to drive fast or to ask him/her out).  May not be the best
>analogy, but it gets to the point of the matter.
>
BAd analogy.  But in either case, I still disagree with your logic.
I am driving the car, I am in control of the car,  I am responsible for
the actions of the car, but NOT for someone elses car or what someone
else chooses to do with their car.  Especially if I don't know them.


>>I totally disagree with you.  The fact that I approach someone with
>>hopes of having a relationship with them doesn't make me anything except
>>someone who tries to go after what I think is right for me.  Labeling
>>me "scum" for doing so makes you dangerous.
>
>I'd rather have this "dangerous" person as a friend than you Steve.  So,
>what you are saying is that, as long as it is right for me, who I step
>on along the way to get what I want doesn't matter.  As far as I'm concerned,
>YOU and others like you are FAR more dangerous  than what this gentleman
>is.  Sounds like you'd be an advocate of anarchy, Steve?
>
>	Bill
>
I have no idea where you are coming from.  The fact that I may approach
a woman who may or may not already be involved in a relationship
(whether I already know this or not) has nothing to do with me stepping
on anyone.  Who am I stepping on??????????  Her?? I don't think so.
I'm expressing positive feelings toward her.  Her current boyfriend
whom I may or may not know about????? I don't think so.  She is not
his property.  I am not trespassing on his turf.  If she is involved,
let her tell me and I'll back off.  If she is no longer interested in 
being involved with her current flame, then she has the right and 
freedom in doing whatever her heart desires.  And if that involves
going out with me, so be it.  If you consider me to be a "scum" because
of how SHE chooses to react to me,,, so be it.  I do not consider my
philosophy as being dangerous..... but for you to blame a third party
for just existing and being responsible for what transpires between
you and someone you might be dating.... doesn't quite seem on target
to me.  If I screw up a project at work, I guess I should blame my
boss for not having the sense to know that I not able to accomplish
a task.  (or should I have taken the responsibility to find out how
to accomplish the task before attempting to do it.)  Let's be 
responsible for our own actions and stop blaming the rest of the 
world.				steve
Xref: sparky alt.romance:6733 soc.singles:10617 soc.couples:1939