From: bkannan@HA07.ENG.UA.EDU (Balaji Kannan)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: Indian Men and Marriages
Date: 11 Apr 92 02:41:36 GMT


svenkata@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Sundaresan Venkatachalam) writes:


> There has been a lot of discussion going on about Indian Men and Women and 
>their attitudes about marriage.  The fact is a majority of the men are still 
>scared and terrified by the prospect of going the different and the decent way
>( Many netters have explained this as: we respect our parents, we do not like
>going after girls, we can depend on our parent's choices and so many LAME
>EXCUSES).
>     It is more than disgusting when I meet Indian males who try to justify the
>marriages in India by the Name of Culture and the broken family scene of the
>west. Women are also play an important role in giving life to the system of
>dowry, mistreatment of the bride etc.. but in a Society in which Feminism is
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>regarded as a sin/crime it is very much possible that this species (after all
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>for 90% of the Indian Men a woman is just a  maens of earning some extra bucks
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>and having sex) has never been allowed  to even think of the other
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 While there is enough evidence to believe that Feminism in India has never had
 an opportunity to put up a semblance of struggle for equal rights/opportunities
 it is interesting that Feminism(of bra-burning zealots) in the West is facing a
 backlash. There was a recent poll by CNN and TIME and 60% of those interviewed
 were unwilling to be labelled *Feminists*. The leaders of these movements
 it appears, have done irreparable damage to the equal rights movement with 
 their anti-male militancy. While the plight of Indian females is no doubt
 far more pathetic than those in Western Societies (by and large),there still is
 a section of the population that, as one of our netters pointed out, idolises
 women as Godesses. There is a code of conduct that society expects women to
 religiously adhere to. As long as they stick to these unwritten rules they are
 revered as Godesses and are respected as such but even a little deviation
 from this track is recipe for social ostracization.

 But I take exception to your implication that Indian culture is unique in its
 discrimination against women. Discrimination against women is a phenomenon
 that transcends religion, culture and society. Tell me a Society that
 has resolved this struggle for power. If you are under the impression that
 U.S is some kind of a Matriarchal Society you need to wake up and look around
 in your own University. The "Anglo-Saxon White male" is more equal than the
 rest of 'em in this country. The treatment of women as "sex symbols"
 is more intrinsic to Western cultures than in the Orient. Time and again
 you find Western women harping on this.  

possibilities which would have resulted in the betterment of their status.

       Many netters seem to be allergic to feminists....come
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 If you are talking of feminists in the mould of Germane Greer, yes most
 of us would be allergic to feminism. But if you are talking of equal rights
 and opprtunities a lot of us would like to reorient our "Indian way of 
 thinking"(where one is indoctrinated about the roles a woman has to play
 in society and remain contented with it.). Why is it that you have
 spewed so much venom on one sex, while conveniently leaving out the
 99% of IIW's on this net. Except for one or two most of them seem to be
 falling prey to the "Sweeping-Generalization-Syndrome"(at least the one's
 who have been posting). The problem with feminism is not with the goals
 that it seeks to achieve but the means by which feminists try to
 achieve them. Feminism will die a natural death if it borders on militancy.


on guys try to get rid of your idiotic belifs and do accept the fact that WOMEN
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are as CAPABLE as you. And about Indian Women not impressing you and all that 
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 Is that an attempt at chivalry? IMO, most males on this net(from their
 postings) give women credit for their capabilities. They are only bothered
 about women (Womyn?) using labels like "MCP's", "MAMA KI PALLUWALLAS" and
 such disparaging phrases to typecast all Indain men. If someone finds it
 difficult to date Indians then it is upto their choice as to who they
 should look out for. And the IIW's shouldn't really be bothered as to
 what some (or is it 99%?) of their Indian counterparts think about them.
 It is hard to believe that a women who revels in blindly bludgeoning
 men(only 99% of the men, the remaining 1% are noble souls) should call herself
 an Indian Independent Women.


>bull.....you just have not been lucky enough to meet anyone nice.

>        I sometimes feel that the INDIAN MENTALITY has been
>                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
>tuned to believe over the centuries that nicer aspects of life like "LOVE"
>        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>are possible only in the silver screen for Amithabs and Kamala Hassans!


 Where did you get that from? 
 On the one hand, you have the Western world shaking its head in disbelief
 at our "glorification of love and sex",

 (the Shivalinga and its coitus symbolism, the Kajuraho, Ellora and Konarak 
 temples with their most erotic sculptures that the world has ever seen.
 The British were disgusted to the very depths of their "Victorian Souls"
 seeing the worship of the phallic symbol. Initally they were under the 
 impression that the phallus was being worshipped as God, later they discovered
 that the reverse was true but they treated this as a distinction without
 a difference. Their contempt for Indians thus stayed alive ).

 and on the other we have people like you grilling the "Indian attitude"
 (apathy) towards love and sex.

>       -regards,
>               sundaresan (svenkata@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu)


  Balaji Kannan

Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian