From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Day 4...
Date: 14 Sep 92 12:06:12 GMT
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

When I first started to post here, I definately didn't expect to be well read,
let alone see so many people come to my defence... (Wrong word, but ya know
what I mean...)

Thank you EVERYONE!  IMHO, the words of "Don't kill yourself" DO make a
difference at my end.  I don't understand why anyone here would give two shits,
but it is appreciated none-the-less...

I even had a person come up to me at a SF Convention, when they saw my nametag,
and offer support.  That blew my mind!  I still don't quite get it, but why
question...

For the record, I am now farther away from killing myself than I have been in a
while.  (I've been sleeping 14 hours a night, and that's helped BIG TIME!)  But
I am going to make myself keep my origional promise and post once a day for 7
days, then see what happens.

Today I ended up seeing Julie and the rest of that gang again today...  (After
stopping in to see my Grandparents, where they bribed me with $150 to keep on
with College...)

I don't know if seeing Julie is a good or bad idea.  Good, in that it reminds
me that I can be attractive to females, and I may meet up with someone special
sometime...  Bad, since I may end up reacting badly when her husband get's back
to Chicagoland.  I don't think I will though, since I've been smashed both
times I did anything, and I've had some minor experience with sharing lovers
before...  (Even then it will be 100% OVER with when he get's back...)

I don't think I mentioned this here, but someone has forwarded my suicidal
thoughts to the Co-Sysop of my BBS.  (A good old friend who lives a few blocks
from me.)  In this case, good thinking whoever is responsible...  If it was
just about ANYONE else, I would have felt extremely violated, but in this case,
it's just alerting a friend that a mutual friend is in distress...

Does that logic make much sence?  Ahh well...

Yeesh...  I'm still amazed by the responce I've gotten from here.  Yes, my
suicidal thoughts are serious (which is why I was so damn scared when I was
searching for the handgun), but as some friends here know, it's also a very
common thought in my head over time...  Thank you everyone, again!

Regarding Jeff, I agree that people have the right to take their own life.  I
also think that other people should lend support to those in need when asked. 
This *IS* a support group, of sorts...

Ya know, when I mentioned this newsgroup to my Psycologist, she then asked me
(repeatedly) is I have been sexually abused...  I'm not certian that she
beleived me when I said "No."...  Which brings me right back to the question in
my mind, "Why the hell am I tolerated here?"

Ahh well, I've babbeled on long enough, and have gotten most of the thoughts
out of my head for the moment...   Talk with ya tommorow!

+--------------------------------------------------+-------------------------+
|Krikket              | krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us | USnail: 3 Danada Sq. E. !
|a.k.a Doug Krick     | #include<sig.virus>        |   Suite 246             !
|Data # 708/665-9732  | #include<std.disclaimers>  |   Wheaton, Il 60187     !
+--------------------------------------------------+-------------------------+
| From the makers of "IBM Made Easy" is "Cray-2 Simulations On your VIC-20"  |
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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery