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Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1992 12:22:00 +1000
              <AUTISM@SJUVM.BITNET>
From:         LNCJB@CC.NEWCASTLE.EDU.AU
Subject:      Re: Perceptions ...
X-To:         AUTISM%SJUVM.BITNET@pucc.Princeton.EDU

Anne,

I, too, gained some insight into my 'least affected' children (Tim and Tony)
from Dan and Lauren's posts, which were confirmed by a visit to the high
school over Tony.

Tony had recently been given school punishment for being out of uniform
supposedly without permission. They reckoned it was 'without permission'
even though I had written a lengthy letter explaining that I was not going
to provide Tony with any more new uniform for financial reasons especially
when there were only 38 days of actual school left before he does his finals.
However, one teacher still insisted that Tony purchased a pair of black
school tracksuit pants before the following Monday....he had been wearing
his black jeans after he had ripped the backside out of his school trousers...
apart from the extra stitching down the sides and the pockets, I couldn't
see any difference between the two. When that Monday came and Tony still didn't
have the correct attire, he was given his punishment, which he wasn't too
worried about, the thing that did upset him however was a lecture that teacher
gave him about 'what a nice boy he had been in Year 8 when he had last taught
him and how he had changed'. Tony came home that afternoon displaying typically
'autistic symptoms'.....he is usually such a carefree boy, that apart from his
language problems and allergies, there is nothing to suggest that he suffers
from the same condition as the rest of us.

Of course, my next move the following morning was to confront that teacher. I
was intercepted by the Deputy Principal ...it is almost impossible to get to
see any specific teacher at that school, the office staff always tell parents
that the teachers are on class and can't be disturbed and refer you to the DP.
Actually the DP is quite a nice person, who I have got to know fairly well
over the last 10 years (I've had lots of complaints over the treatment of
my children in that time). We had a long chat, during the course of which he
commented on the language problems and lack of social skills of my family...
and he was referring to Tim and Tony...I thought at first he had confused
Tim with Chris, who has very obvious social interaction deficits...but he said
"No" it WAS Tim he was talking about. This really surprised me because I didn't
think that any one apart from me would have noticed them.....I always thought
Tim's social interactions were within an acceptable range. He confirmed that
he observed these problems in Tony too. After I had told him about Asperger's
Syndrome, he asked a very thought provoking question..."Why does there appear
to be such a high incidence of this in his school?" The only partial answer
I could offer him was that perhaps because we are a working class area and come
from a long line of manual labourers, our ancestors may have also had this
condition which in those days would have prevented them from finding any other
type of employment and therefore these people congregated around mines and
factories.

He eventually set it up so I could talk to the 'offending' teacher on his phone
- he felt I should inform that teacher personally of Tony's susceptibility to
stress, and how he was aggravating Tony's behaviour by his attitude towards
him. It was a very interesting conversation, which after an initial linguistic
power struggle, I managed to gain control of (a skill I learnt from studying
Linguistics), in which he gave the impression that Tony had misinterpreted
what he had said to him. I told him in no uncertain terms that Tony wouldn't
be acquiring any additional clothing, but that I would see to it that he wore
his black jeans only when it was cold and would give him a permission note on
every occasion that he did. I also informed him that I didn't want him to say
anything further to Tony about the matter. The conversation ended abruptly
after I gave him my edict - I don't think he was very happy about it.

The next day Tony said that he had said something to him about 'not giving him
any special consideration', but Tony said he didn't hear it properly and didn't
understand what he was talking about, he could only think that he was giving
me the message that he wasn't going to be browbeat into altering his behaviour.
I remember this teacher from the parent/teacher interview in Year 8 - I
thought him an a*hole then and I don't think he has changed. I've told Tony
to stay out of his way for the remainder of the year, but if he has any further
problems with him to let me know.....this time I'll be ready to do battle. :-)

So it appears that the efforts I have taken to reduce the stress levels of my
children during there schooling have succeeded by making their autistic
symptoms less noticeable during their early years, but have done nothing to
help them develop strategies to overcome their susceptibility to stress
reactions. It seems I may have protected them too much....but at least they
have had a reasonably happy childhood to look back on.

Carolyn
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