From: mattb@ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Newsgroups: rec.music.gdead
Subject: Jerry's Health: opinion and a fictional proposal
Summary: This is fiction, not a bogus rumor
Date: 14 Aug 92 18:18:16 GMT
Article-I.D.: balrog.4738
Reply-To: mattb@olympus.ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Organization: Cabletron Systems Inc.

We have all been saddened by the news on Jerry (what we have heard, that is).
I wish him a speedy recovery.

But I've gotten to the point where I really don't want him to keep sacrificing
his health in order to tour.  I really don't want to lose this guy before his
time.  I can speak from some experience because my father died from complic-
ations to maturity-onset diabetes.  The rumor that Jerry had fluid in his
lungs hit home, because my father died from a sudden pulmonary embolism 
brought on by a diabetes-related electrolyte imbalance.  I like to see Jerry
keep playing, but the tour schedule with GD and JGB is going to kill him.

So, here's my fictional solution, written in the form of a press release.

THIS IS FICTION.  DO NOT PANIC. and please don't quote this without including
the FICTION header. I am as concerned about bogus rumors as the next head.

IN FACT, I MISSPELLED grateful dead ON PURPOSE TO DISCOURAGE MISUSE 

Read it all before you flame; after that, it's open season.



FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!
I               
C                               NO MORE TOURS!
T December 1, 1992
I
O The Greatful Daed announced today that Jerry Garcia will be recuperating for
N the remainder of 1992.  After the latest round of health problems, the mem-
  bers of the Greatful Daed "family" have agreed on the following new direction
F for the group.
I
C 1. The Greatful Daed will no longer tour outside the Bay Area, with some
T    exceptions made for benefits and special occasions.
I	
O 2. The Daed will restrict their concert playing to 1 or 2 shows per week
N    during "the concert seasons" (Fall and Spring).  Other parts of the 
     year will be reserved for group or individual projects.
F
I 3. The only exception to the above policy will be the annual New Year's 
C    Series in Oakland. The New Year's Series 92/93 will mark Jerry's return.
T
I 4. Greatful Daed Ticket Service and the hotlines will remain in operation
O    to provide mail order service for all Bay Area and benefit concerts, as
N    well as tours and concerts by individual band members. In addition,
     special travel packages will be made available to make it easier for
F    fans to see the Bay Area concerts.
I
C 5. In order to accomodate Greatful Daed fans worldwide, and to advance the
T    work of the Rex Foundation, Greatful Daed Productions is pleased to
I    announce the Greatful Daed Satellite Channel.
O
N 6. The GD Satellite Channel will be available by subscription, and it will
     be sold to cable TV providers for use as an expanded basic or subscription
F    service.
I
C 7. The GD Satellite Channel will broadcast all Greatful Daed concerts live,
T    with rebroadcasts during the week.  In addition, the channel will show
I    a variety of classic concerts, Daed related video material, Rex foundation
O    broadcasts (such as performances of Rex-supported composer's music), 
N    Music and concerts from other groups popular with DaedHaeds, music
     from Bay Area groups (both established and new), and DaedHaed videos
F    (amateur/semi-professional efforts sent in by fans and subscribers).
I    With the wealth of archived material, the number of worthy causes, and
C    the amount of excellent local music in the Bay Area, Greatful Daed
T    productions see little prospect of running out of broadcast material.
I
O 8. The Greatful Daed has further agreed with the City of San Fran-
N    cisco to lease Candlestick Park, and participate in the renovation
     thereof, once the Giants move out.  The park will receive a retractable
F    dome, and will henceforth be the permanent home of all Greatful Daed
I    Productions events, with the possible exception of the New Years Series.
C    The Park will be renamed in honor of Bill Graham.
T
I 9. The Greatful Daed family believes that these changes will benefit all
O    members and fans of the band by providing a relaxed concert schedule,
N    increasing access to the music and events supported by the Daed, and
     providing a venue that will be intended and designed to provide the
F    best musical experience, without the problems associated with touring.
I    We believe that these changes will also benefit the Bay Area through
C    an increase in Daed-related tourism, while providing a healthy and
T    safe outlet for "the scene" as a benefit for fans.
I
O
N
FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!  FICTION ALERT!


Again, please do not quote this out of context.  I do not want to cause 
confusion or rumors.  I do want to see what people think of this kind of 
idea, and I felt that this fictional format would be the most interesting
way to express it, despite the possibility that it could be mis-interpreted
or misused.  Please refrain from malicious mis-use of the above material.

I resolve that anybody who fucks with this is mistreated forever after.
____________________________________________________________________________
My Rationale for the above nonsense:

I am an east-coaster.  I don't tour. I get to a show a year if lucky.  I get
some tapes from friends, listen to GDH, buy the CDs. Been a head since 72.

I'd like to be able to gracefully age along with what's left of the band.
I want to see Jerry active for another 20 years at least.
I'd rather have less Dead than nothing but memories and tapes.
I realize that not everybody will agree (maybe not anybody)

I think most of the problems we have are tour-related.  Everything from
vending hassles to venue-bans to counterfeits to ticketless hordes to 
rights violations to Porsche Guys comes down to touring.  

This may seem like I've got it in for folks who tour. Not at all.  It's the
strain on the band and the "foreign" venues that I'm targeting.  There's
nothing wrong with folks doing one-stop touring in the Bay Area.  Go for
a Spring session, camp or hotel in the area, see 2 shows a week, and go to 
the host of related activities that are bound to crop up as spinoff.  Or
organize some of them!  At least this way the Bay Area, which has been a 
gracious host to the scene for close to 30 years, gets the benefit of all
the energy and dollars, rather than some selfish money-grubbing hellhole
that wants to screw everybody that follows the Dead (read: Crap Center).

Matt
Ok, flame away, or discuss intelligently.  I have tried to responsibly 
identify this as speculative fiction.  I apologize in advance if it is
misinterpreted or misused.