Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Sunday, 11 Oct 1992 15:40:29 CDT
From: <U56503@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: a cheap holiday in other people's misery

In article <Bvz212.2qq@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A.
Dennis) says:

>him.]  Why did it take someone so long to do the obvious?

[Finger Conibear and see if he has logged in to his account, thereby
providing a reality check on his purported suicide.]

Well, here's what I think:

(As per our previous discussons on this topic in this group last year.
We've also discussed whether some of this negativistic thinking is
due to lowered light-availability.  I recall mentioning Columbus Day
weekend as the usual starting point of the descent for those sensitive
to lowered light availability and intensity.  Hmmmm.)

Many group members ascribe to the following compelling, but falacious, line of
reasoning:  It is too anxiety-producing and scary to change.  I have an
identity as victimized/hopeless/negative/cynical.  My identity is my friend!
I don't want to lose my only and best friend; a friend that is with me always.

If I try to change my identity, I get scared/feel alone. So, to feel "familiar"
I have to keep my negative identity.  It is comfortable and safe.  I am
afraid of the unfamiliar.  It makes me anxious.

Reality might cause me to feel hopeful.  So, I don't want to know that
a guy didn't kill himself.  Then I would have to feel a happy emotion perhaps.
I might find myself feeling a touch of relief or a moment of gratitude. Horror!
This would cause a great disturbance in my cynical, mopey view of me and
life.  I would rather surmise that he died.  This fits with my identity.
Then I don't have to feel scared and do the work of change.

I have to ignore reality many times to keep my dour identity in full operation.
That's the price I pay to feel safe and surrounded by the familiar:
I make myself miserable in order to avoid anxiety of change.  Pretty sad huh?
Anxiety is a mighty powerful force I guess.  Self-awareness is plenty scary.
Change is even more terror-filled.  I avoid it all like the plague.
I feel safer when held close by gloom and decay.

So, I couldn't do that reality check.  It might have given me hope and
then I would get anxious and filled with panic if I had to feel something non-
sullen.  So, I decided to not know reality; then I could think that the guy had
maybe killed himself and I could stay in my safe, warm moribund mature,
getting my dose of hopeless-thinking reinforcment to keep me soothed.

(All of the above done in a whiney, pathetic wail)

>Flames always welcome.

Those needing to maintain their sullen nature will no doubt flame.
Denial of the necessity for change is paramount to them.  Attacking what scares
them is their modus operandi.  They will fight well to stay as they are.
They will find ways to debunk anything that gives them cause to look
inside and see that they need to change:  That the fault is not in the stars,
but in themselves. . . .

From a Chicago Flame!

Brady

=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=Brady Woodward ~=~ U56503@UICVM=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
  SATAN to NEW-COMER: The trouble with you Chicago people is that you
  think that you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely
  the most mumerous. --Mark Twain  (All other thoughts are mine alone.)
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=