From: robear@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Jay Michael)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Why I won't "dance"
Date: 23 Jan 1993 02:12:34 GMT
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin TX
NNTP-Posting-Host: happy.cc.utexas.edu

SA121@phx.cam.ac.uk writes:
>(Angus H Rodgers) writes:
>>I think this is because you can't dance if you are always trying to hold
>>your sexuality inside, out of sight (uptight, not at all all right).
>>
>>I sometimes manage to dance when I'm on my own [laughter], because
>>then I'm not having to hide, sexually, from everybody. I'd like to
>>be able to learn to do the same thing when there *are* other people
>>around.
>>
>I'm not too convinced that it is something "sexual" -- although the
>line of reasoning I'm about to give leads there.  At the core of it,
>I think, is a wish not to be embarassed in any way.  There is always
>(well, usually) a nagging fear (or, indeed, knowledge) that you *can't*
>dance, and if you tried to in front of folk (particularly strangers)
>they'd think you were a completely hopeless case.  This is why it's
>possible to dance on your own -- there's no-one watching.  Loss of
>sobriety also helps (-8
>
>The question then, is, why do you object to looking like a complete
>idiot in front of people?  This is where the sexual aspect comes in.
>Perhaps the wwhole dancing business is part of the human "mating"
>ritual (making allowances that we're not playing by normal rules
>around here), and amongst those watching you are potential partners
>whom you want to impress.  Or, at least, you don't want them to think
>you're a total prat.  If you believe, rightly or wrongly, that you
>can't dance, you won't want to compromis yur chances by doing so.

I also had much the same fear of dancing (among other things), but I found
that as long as I was expressing *humour* I could get away with prancing 
about like a loon in the middle of a crowd of people doing much the same thing.
This made perfect sense to me, so as long as I had a sympathetic audience
I could dance the night away.  I still can't dance with strangers though,
I need at least a little group support.
	I first started 'dancing' in Cambridge, of all places, and with 
tremendous worry and determination, I was actually able to enjoy myself.
Now that I recall, I did start dancing by myself (oh oh ohoh, dancing with
myself-David Bowie?), perhaps it was the more liberal air than I was used to
in Indiana.  That was heyday, though, when I was still young and angstful
and tired of being on the sidelines.  Today, I'm older and angstful.
	Friends were key in enabling me to dance, but that wasn't the only
requirement.  The music had to be interesting, fun, and familiar, so I pretty
much stopped dancing when House took over.
	So now I'm at UTexas, been to one more dance.  Crashing a coed
frat pledge party, they played good music.  I still had to develop a
comeraderie within the scant confines of an evening, having only one true
contact in the bunch, but somehow it worked out, and by the end of the evening
I was invovled in pantomiming the video to Police's "Every Little Thing
She Does is Magic", which was great fun.
	What's my point?  I dunno, I'm just waxing nostalgic in a public forum.
Perhaps it's that you need to decide why you want to dance, is it because you
think it might be fun?  What do you want to get out of dancing?  I try and
get a good laugh out of it, and past the humor I want to celebrate the music
I know and love, sharing my appreciations.  Doesn't happen often enough lately.

Robear the Nostalgic

Sexual Orientation:  Ah, what does it matter?  Compusexual, me and the disk
drive of late.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Any opinions expressed herein do not reflect those of the University of Texas,
and in fact, I don't think they have any. So there.--robear@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu

(oh, and to whom my sig resembles, thanks for the inspiration)
Newsgroups: soc.bi