From: Jay Flemma <jflemma@mailbox.syr.edu>
Subject: Creativity addiction
Reply-To: jflemma@mailbox.syr.edu
Organization: The Internet
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 16:01:40 GMT

     Dear Jeff Maggard,
 Last niiiiiiiiiiightt...in the moments my thoughts were adrift...
     I was suddenly awakened by soft noises, first creaking, then bumping
 then shuffling. It was pitch black in my apartment. To my surprise, I
  began to smell a strong odor of sulphur akin to rotten eggs.  My cat
 looked at me, and then screammed (MEEEEEEOOOOW!!!, NO ITS NAME IS NOT
  POSTER NUTBAG, but yes, I love HARPUA)  That did it! As I was about to 
  to my feat and snatch up my favorite weapon of choice (my tape deck,
  cause Killer Phish tapes will blow any thing away) I WAS SEIZED by small
  but strong hands and lifted off my futon and out my window into the
  night!  
    Outside, in the strong light of the full moon I was able to discern
  a good glimpse of my captors.  They were hairless and clotheless. Their
  bodies were all white and they had big oval shaped black eyes. (For those
  of you that are thick - YES, THEY WERE ALIENS!)  They shined a red
  laser beam light into the sky.  With a WHOOOOSH, a flying saucer
  materialized and I was bathed in light and pulled up into the air
  into an opening in the saucer. (Talk about "Beam me up Scotty...)
  I would have been scared, but the Calvin and Hobbes-ish impishness
  I possessed made me think - COOOOOOL! (would I be wrong in a minute!)
       The aliens led me down a darkened corridor towards a doorway. In
  the distance, I heard a mournful chant, coupled with cries of dismay.
  Unfortunately, every step brought me closer to these sounds until
  I realized that the chamber of horror from which emanated these
  hellish tortured sounds of woe was indeed the room to which I was
  being brought.
     The door slid open, hands seized me again and strapped me to a 
  chair.  I can only move my fingers.  I was then shown what caused the 
  twin sounds of horror.
     On my left stood a taller alien, bald and white skinned but with human
  eyes.  This one was chanting in pain and torment over and over,
  now excruciatingly loudly, "If the philosophy that hold one race 
  superior..."  OH MY GOD, NOOOOOOOO! ITS SINEAD O'CONNOR!!!!
      On my right was amother alien chanting, "What do you get when you
   cross a sorority girl..."
        NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
     My torture continued for hours, until, when I thought I could stand
  it no more, a keyboard was placed under my fingers and I was given
  instructions to type...
     "Get us one New Years Ticket and we will let you go..."
      Sinead on my left...the infernal joke writer on my right...
     Will I never get out of this maze...
     OH GOD... THere INCREASING THE VOLUME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer:  If I win the grovel contest, I'm giving the ticket to
             the aliens, this is too much.
P.S. this is a challenge to John Schles.   Iknow your twisted devious
     and creative mind, send me your best shot (to my box if you
     don't wanna post it!)
     Take care all...crank on exams, work, life and I'll see you
     all in New Haven.
          ...from the land where the aliens have still not relented...
                  Jaybar
Newsgroups: rec.music.phish