From: larryc@shell.portal.com (Larry WB Ching)
Subject: New Lurker Says Hello! + ???
Summary: A newbie to the newsgroup says hello, and asks ???.
Organization: Portal Communications Company -- 408/973-9111 (voice) 408/973-8091 (data)
Distribution: alt.support.big-folks
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 02:23:09 GMT

  Hello! My name's Larry Ching. I've just discovered this newsgroup, 
and I'll probably be lurking around from now on. However, I thought I'd 
introduce  myself, make a few statements, and ask a few questions .

 My interest in this newsgroup comes about because my latest girlfriend 
is a big gal - she's an inch taller than me, and about 50 lbs heavier 
( I've never asked her how much she weighs, so this is a guesstimate ). 
If I remember correctly, I think she said that some of her recent weight 
gain ( within the last 5 years ) is due to a medical condition. Even 
without the extra weight, she's naturally large framed, as are her 
siblings.

 I thought I should start reading this group, to give me some guidance 
in my new relationship.

------------------------------------------------------

Question: Is there a FAQ for this group?          
          ( .. and can someone email it to me, as I still haven't 
          mastered the wonders of ftp yet ).

Question: "fat" - When to use the word? When to use in this newsgroup? 
          What terms are OK?

Question: BBW magazine - good, or bunk? A couple I know has a sub-  
          -scription to it - is there anything in it that would be 

------------------------------------------------------

 RE: The "harm" in being obsessed with the idea(l) of a big sexual
     partner

 This seems to have been/is still a recent topic of conversation. As far  
as what harm there is, I can only extrapolate from what I've seen in one 
magazine that exploits hetero male sexual obsession with big women ( the  
title of the magazine is either "BUF" or "GEM" ). From what I could 
gather from skimming through some of the fiction, there is a definite 
undercurrent of 'purdah'. 

 While my dictionary defines 'purdah' as " The ... practice of secluding 
women ", I am using the word to describe the situation in which the 
woman's fat acts to isolate her from other potential suitors, thus 
making the 'hero' of the story the only likely supplier of affection. In 
some stories with a fantasy element, a magic spell or potion makes the 
woman grossly fat. A common phrase is "she was so fat, she could hardly 
move" - sometimes, she is becomes completely immobile.  Obviously, if 
seen from the woman's point of view, the situation would be horror, not 
'harmless' fantasy. However, most of the stories are from the male's 
viewpoint - they are the expression and reinforcment of a particular 
sexual wish.

---------

 In general, I feel there is harm in any male sexual obsession that
mandates that a specific set of physical characteristics be present in
a potential female lover . 

It harms the man, because :

 * It causes him to prematurely disregard a woman who might otherwise
   be the best gal for him.

 * It causes him to ignore dangerous or incompatible personality
   traits in a woman that happens to qualify to his physical standards.

 * It makes him doubt that he can be sexually potent with a "normal"
   woman.


It harms the woman, because :

 * What if she changes shape? Will he leave, even when it isn't her
   fault ?  Will he begin to hound her into returning toher previous
   shape?

-----------

 So, if anybody wants to discuss anything I've posted here, you can
reach me at:

         larryc@shell.portal.com

                  Bye for now!

                        Larry Ching



Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks