From: gavigan@gn.ecn.purdue.edu (Ryan P. Gavigan)
Subject: A Christmas treat from Gaver-sensei
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 92 07:46:20 GMT



      How The Macek Stole Christmas

         -By Ryan "Gaver-sensei" Gavigan


         Every Sub down in Subville,
           liked subtitles a lot.
         But the mean Mr. Macek,
           most definitely did not.
         
         The Macek hated subtitles,
           to him dubs were more pleasin'
         Now please don't ask why,
           no one quite knows the reason.
         It could be his hair,
           didn't cover his head.
         Or the fact his voice actors,
           could awaken the dead.

         Among all the reasons,
           the most likely of all,
         May have been that his modesty,
           was two sizes too small.

      "Tomorrow's the Sub's Christmas, it's practically here.  The joy, and
         the laughter,the giving, and the cheer."

         He couldn't stop growling,
           his long fingers drumming,
         "I've got to keep the Sub's Christmas from coming."

         "But How?"

         Then he got an idea,
           so awful and rotten.
         "I'll dress just like Santa,
           with a beard made of cotton."
         "I'll go into the houses,
           and steal all the Sub's tapes."
         "And with long winded speeches,
           I shall make my escapes."
         
         Macek needed a reindeer,
           to pull his big sled.
         So he nailed on some antlers,
           to Jerry Beck's head.

         "Owwch..That hurts!", cried Jerry in vain,
           but Macek just laughed with joyful disdain.
         Beck whined,"Stop! I write books, on a bird and a cat."     (#1)
           "Quit whining, or you'll be announcing,
              'Would you like fries with that?'."
         He hitched up 'ol Jerry,
           with a whip and a scold.
         A technique that he learned, 
           back at Harmony Gold.

         From Al's house, to Conty's house,                         (#2)
           The subtitles, he took.
         That Santa-clad Macek, 
           that Christmasy crook.

         Then, he came to a house, 
           way down the pike,
         On the far edge of Subville,  
           At the cottage of Mike.                                  (#3)
         He slid down the chimney,
           without getting smudged.
         Professional courtesy,
           most would have judged.
         Then he stole all the presents,
           "I have no regret."
         "I'll sell them to pay off
           my Nadia debt."

         Then he burned all the fan scripts,
           that filled him with glee.
         "No one can write these things
           better than me!"
         As the Macek piled the tapes,
           and gave them a shove,
         He heard a small sound,
           like the sound of a dove.
         He turned around fast,
           and next to the tree,
         he saw a small Sub,
           twas little Chun-Li.
         "Don't worry," he said,
           "I have no tricks."
         "I'll return these tapes,
           after getting them fixed."
         Then the Macek saw,
           a lone tear in her eye.
         And had second thoughts,
           before waving good-bye.
         As the Macek patted her head,
           Was it some class,
         That invaded his heart,
           "Nahhh, must've been gas."
         
         Then remembering his mission,
           the Macek ran for the door.
         Going all over Subville,
           and stealing even more.
         All through the night,
           the Macek ransacked the houses.
         He even stole PUMA's Christmas video,
           'Nekojin without Blouses".

         "Poo poo to the Subs!",
           he was Macekishly humming.
         "They're going to find out,
           no Sub-Christmas is coming."

         Then, all the Subs rose to find,
           that their Christmas was gone.
         No more subtitled product, 
           to sink their teeth on.
         They sneered in disdain,
           as they let out a snarl.
         "No sane Sub would do this,
           it must have been Carl!"

         But Christmas did arive,
           and brought with it joy,
         Thanks to Rob's gift,                                       (#4)
           a new tape for each girl and boy.
         And the Subs down in Subville,
           sat back with a smirk,
         And joined in a chorus, exclaiming,
           "Carl Macek's a jerk!"



"Gaver-sensei"
Ryan Gavigan
gavigan@gn.ecn.purdue.edu
#1-- Albert , the E-mail Otaku.. and Enrique Conty, the incredible man-with-
      no-life
#2-- Jerry Beck wrote "I Tawt I taw a Puddy Tat", regarding the history of
      Tweety Pie and Sylvester from the Looney Toons
#3-- Michael Studte
#4-- Robert Woodhead