From: GE.LJB@forsythe.stanford.edu (Louis J Bookbinder)
Subject: a sad note
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 1992 01:32:57 GMT

Klunketaklong (can this really be a rare post from the tin man?)(yes!)

Nick Chopper sits down at table 28x with Snuggles and a few other
mechanoids. He waves at Linda and Robbie having a heated argument
elsewhere. He does not appear happy.

"I got a call today at home, 10 before 5, from Ken Wright. He told me
the results of his MRI and I thought you should know.

"But first some background. Ken is a wheelchair athlete. He swam, and he
raced in a racing chair - a terrific hi-tech device which allows some
wheelchair athletes to beat champion able-bodied marathoners. By more
that 10 minutes!

"Ken is the first to admit that the cause of his disability (class 1
quadruplegia - no leg control, limited arm control, almost no hand
control) was his own stupidity. He regularly spoke before high-school
crowds about this kind of stupidity. A sobering reminder of the dangers
of alcohol. Seems about 15 years ago, he and his brother were in a
tavern Christmas Eve, and they tied one on. Then they got in a pickup
and drove home. One of the oak trees along the route did not get out of
the way in time, and the pickup was converted into scrap metal. Ken and
his brother were converted into something similar, but they both lived.
Ken eventually learned to live independently, but his brother is still
institutionalized.

"Compounding his stupid mistake, he had been heavy into various drugs at
the time. Quadruplegia stopped that nonsense for a while, but then he
got back into it. The outlook was not good.

"Then Ken got religion. Now, as you may know, I, myself, am an atheist.
That understanding has never faltered. I still think the standard god is
a terribly infantile power fantasy. Ken got Christ and suddenly, for
him, everything straightened out. I cannot argue with that. I would not
try. It was a solution which would not work for me, but if it works for
him.... He straightened out and his life moved into high gear. He
involved himself in his church, community, his work community (he got a
job at Stanford about that time), and started investigating sports. He
even quit smoking while I knew him.

"Somehow he snared me into his plans and we started working out
together.  First it was a very difficult course around campus, but I
took him down to a bike route in Palo Alto which had more promise.  We
ran some LONG ones there - up to 14 miles!.  Then we went out to
Dumbarton bridge and found the route there an even 16.25 miles out and
back, with a spectacular hill (the bridge) in the middle.  Did that LOTS
of times.

"We entered races.  For all my help getting him into and out of the
racing chair (with taping and accouterments, etc, this takes about 20
minutes!) we struck a deal where he sometimes paid for the race fee, and
I did the support without which he could not get to race.  The first
marathon he completed he got a flat tire after only 10 miles.  We had no
spare (we learned to carry them in the support van on later trips) so he
pushed the last 16 miles on a flat.  Finished in 6.5 hours!  COVERED in
blood where the tape on his hands had worn through!  BOY, WAS HE HAPPY!
1.5 years later he broke 4 hours in Sacramento, and we were BOTH happy.

"He was not very fast in the racing chair - no grip, remember. But he
swam a lot. He was so good in his class, in fact, that he went to the
PARALYMPICS in Seoul in 88, a week after the OLYMPICS. He won nothing,
but it was the greatest time of his life. His medical problems (below)
prevented a retry for Barcelona, this year. Very sad.

"Last November he went into the hospital for major bruises on his
bottom.  So major they came close to amputating one or both legs.  By
February he got out of hospital and soon we were back running.  But then
he began having back trouble.  The pain got enormous!  It may sound
silly that his back hurts when he lacks all feeling below the neck.  But
there are more than the usual obvious nerve channels for pain.  It
incapacitated him.  So in May he was back to the hospital (VA).
Incidentally, because of various problems like the above, he spent so
much time in the last few years in hospitals, he has long ago used up
all sick leave and vacation.  He has only earned 2 full months' salary
this year!  His medical coverage is basically charity.

"In the hospital this time, they had trouble locating the pain. It
looked like disk problems. They did stuff there, but then his headaches
increased. They found increased CSF pressure on the brain. They put in a
drain. He lost sensation on one side of his face and his vision became
blurred. The doctors were at a complete loss. So they ordered an MRI as
a last resort. MRI is short for (nuclear) Magnetic Resonence Imaging. It
involves large magnetic fields and radio detectors. No ionizing
radiation involved.

"He has an inoperable tumor in his brainstem. He has about a year to
live.

"As usual, the only feeling I get out of this is cold dismay. The old
tin heart again. Ken has been my buddy for about 5 years now. He will
leave a hole in my life. But I may never feel the normal shock and fear
and sadness that others do. Just a hole.

"Actually, he and I will probably try to get back into running soon, up
until the tumor completely incapacitates him. He likes getting out in
his racer. I do not know about work. I imagine that he will try to turn
over everything to someone else, clean up the problems he has now. Also,
he has non-work related things to do - he is a big booster for disabled
athletics, naturally.

"I will keep you informed from time to time.  I keep reminding myself
that we are all in the same boat - it is just that he KNOWS (within a
couple months) when it ends, we do not.  But we are all just as
terminal.

"Not feeling terribly funny just now, still, I had to share this, since
some of you remember my comments about him from time to time. I really
do not know how to deal with this except by just going on - being there
like I always have been, saving my pity for someone who needs it,
learning some good lessons about life from him. If anyone has any
advice, you know I am still here.....

Nick Chopper - my opinion? ax not! LB>-}  BOOKY@Forsythe.stanford.edu
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