HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 14:14:27 GMT

>       Yeah, right.  While I admit to partaking of many cold meals,
>I've killed more pheasant with the combine than you've killed in the
>past year with any weapon, not to mention the vast number of hot

You gotta love this guy, he hunts pheasant with a combine.  Where did
you find this killer combine? No doubt at one of the many mud wrestling
truck and tractor pull events there in Iowa.

>       I suppose bows would be quite suitable in a place like this.
>I'd still rather use my .50, though, as a bow just lacks the awe-
>
A .50 caliber?  What are you talking about, a machine gun?  I'd
prefer a 30.06.  During most hunting accidents involving a 30.06
and head wounds, the head was vaporized.

>       Liberals.  They can't get their piece of the pie so they want
>a part of mine taken away.  Makes about as much sense as the phrase
>"Taxing into prosperity."
>
Peeve: Reagan cut taxes for the super rich (top 1%) from 75% to 25%
thus making us the greatest debter nation there is.  Are you rich
Dan?  Do you have 20 million in the Bank?  If not, then you don't
even have a fucking crumb of the pie, let alone a piece.
From: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Death peeve
Date: 26 Sep 92 13:20:05 GMT
Reply-To: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Organization: The Exploding Hot Drink

In article <1992Sep22.163853.7689@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:

> Peeve #5) Catholic priests. I think they're all insane. This guy gave a eulogy
> that was truly of the demented variety.

Somehow this reminds me of a funeral a few years ago in Rome. A sister of
my grandmother, if you have to ask. The funeral was in the hospital where
they kille^H^H^H^H^H treated her in the last months.

The priest started on how this was really not a death, but rather a life 
hich was so close to the end that it just finished. Then he went on to
tell us how happy she would be now that she has finally met our Lord
(whoever he is). I quote from memory.

"I have seen all kind of people die. Everyone has a favuorite way to leave
this life, but I noticed that there is a pattern. Christians, like our
recently disappeared sister, smile all the way through until there is
nothing left to smile. This is because they start to see our Lord the
minute they start to die (*). Therefore they know that they are not leaving
this life, but they are rather moving towards the real life.

"I have seen pagans die. They still see our Lord the minute they start to
die, but they realise that he is upset with them. They jump on their bed.
They delire. They scream. They insult their doctor. Their appearance
starts mutating. (**) Their face changes. As death is approaching them,
their teeth grow longer. They try to bite everything. They behave like
vampires. They swear. Doctors just have to give up trying to treat them,
because they behave like wild animals. Their fingernails, longer than
their teeth, are so sharp that nobody dares going near them..."

At this point the priest was jumping all over the chapel, the altar was
the worse mess I've ever seen in a church. I am very sad I missed the
rest of the funeral, but I had to leave, together with my mother and a
number of other relatives, because we had been asked to laugh somewhere
else.

(*) So maybe the "Jesus loves you" lady has already started to die?
(**) I guess that I should crosspost this to alt.alien.visitors?

ObPeeve. Funerals aren't what they used to be.

--
The ObT
"The best minute of the day is the minute I start working
 -- because it is also the last minute of my working day"
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Esoteric Skinhead O'Connor (Was stuff about Mac D's)
Date: 7 Oct 92 00:54:39 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1992Oct6.111639.7977@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>
>This reminds me. My aunt told me that Skinhead was on Saturday Night Live 
>a while back, and was singing with a lot of Jewish religious things around her
>(I don't know what sort of things she had as props, since I don't know anyone 
>who is Jewish... not counting a couple of net-people). Anyway, at the end of 
>the song she holds up a picture of the Pope, which she rips to shreds, and says
>"Let's fight the real enemy." Does anyone know what the HELL she was talking 
>about?


Let's face it, if Madonna Ciccone had that photo, she would have
rolled it up and gone down on it or simply tongued it. If David
Letterman had that photo, he would have tossed it backwards so
the sound tech could make that glass crashing sound. If Dan Quayle
had it, he would have spelled it "pop" or "popee"

Like, take a pill, honey and lie down.

ER

--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I just couldn't take the green brain carpet, so I had to kill it."
					-R. Hep
From: igb@fulcrum.bt.co.uk (Ian G Batten)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Rewriting History
Date: 30 Sep 92 12:40:37 GMT
Organization: Fulcrum Communications

In article <1aa9rtINN386@agate.berkeley.edu> henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken) writes:
>  It was religious restrictions
> on their own terms that they were looking for, and found too.

Ironically, the country founded ``to escape religious persecution''
ended up have a powerful religious lobby that commands a large
following.  Witness that the creationist lobby aren't just considered a
fringe bunch of flakes.  Witness the fact that what seems like enough
money to clear your national debt gets given to TV Preachers.  
Witness the crap about ``family values'' (I'll give mine ten pounds).
And so on.

Notice, by contrast, the attention paid to religion in the UK.  Er,
that'd be ``none'', Guv'nor.  What proportion of the UK population
attend church regularly?

I never quite understood what the Government of the time of the
Mayflower was doing persecuting Puritans.  They had their hands full
persecuting Catholics.

ian
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: 6 Oct 1992 17:05:31 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu

In article <5lfp3q-@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:

>ObPeeve: While the adding of the tuna is pretty tasty, I have yet to find
>anything that I get worse heartburn from. 

Try KFC Popcorn Chicken.

Peeve: KFC Popcorn Chicken tastes really good. Unfortunately, you need a
	tub of Maalox afterwards...

ObRecipie: Apple (1: Rinse.  2: Eat.  3: Discard core. Or eat it)

Peter

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: kilroy@acme.gen.nz (earthbound misfit, I)
Subject: Re: Rewriting History
Date: Sat, 03 Oct 92 01:30:34 GMT
Organization: ACME BBS - Public Access Usenet, Palmerston North, New Zealand

donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:

> ObInsaneLaw:  Supposedly, some state back East has banned flashlights
> taking more than 3 batteries because they can be used as weapons.

Wildly inconceivable! In this sleepy little part of the world, the security
guards carry large metallic battery-filled torches (that's flashlights for you 
foreigners) because they're not allowed to carry a baton (let alone anything
really violent, like a gun).

ObPeeve: people misspelling my name. Does anyone know of anybody called
         "Graig"? I have never ever seen it spelt with a G, so why do people
         happily misspell my name that way?!?!

						- k
-- 
Craig Harding            kilroy@acme.gen.nz             ACME BBS +64 6 3551342
"Jub'er lbh pnyyvat n obmb?"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
From: gcombs@parsifal.umkc.edu (Gerald Combs)
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 21:37:23 GMT
Reply-To: gcombs@parsifal.umkc.edu (Gerald Combs)
Organization: University of Missouri - Kansas City

In article <9209280110.aa09543@crisco.sco.COM>, charless@sco.com (charles stross) writes:
>They all have branches of McDonald's. Speaking of which:
>
>>Word for the day: dreck
>
>But you knew that McDonald's were <ob_word_for_the_day> all 
>along, didn't you?

  Last week I read an article in the local paper about a guy who bought some
ingestible items from McDonald's, discovered that the food was a lot nastier 
than usual and complained to the company.  He discovered that they were testing
out a new system of microwaving the food before serving it, so that it would 
taste fresh.  The company was very concerned about the fact that someone could 
tell the difference between the nuked and non-nuked versions of their burgers.  
They evidently spent some money on microwaves designed not to do the terrible
things to bread and meat that microwaves normally do.

  You'd think a big company like that, which does quite a bit of research in 
order to determine which food products consumers will buy literally billions of, 
would figure out that hot != fresh'n'tasty.  Especially for foodstuffs like 
lettuce.

  Peeve: According to the article, I will now have to request that my food not
get microwaved at McDogfoo^H^H^H^Hnald's.

  !Peeve: I don't eat at McDonald's very often, and when I do I'm in enough of a
hurry that I don't care how the food tastes anyway.

- Gerald Combs
     _____     __o          Internet : gcombs@vax1.umkc.edu
   -----      -\<,            Bitnet : gcombs@umkcvax1  
    -----   ( )/ ( )
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Arana (Was: Vacation Peeve 2 - The rental car (Re: Mea Culpa)
Date: 5 Oct 92 23:20:52 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <5787@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched) writes:
>baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
>
>>!Peeve: The Keplings(TM). Every time I have been to Russ' place they 
>>are there and one of them is trying to burn something down or blow 
>>something up or is using the little laser pointer to harass the dog.  
>
>Oh, does their doggie chase the bright red spot like Sarah the Border Collie?

Yep.  Kids love to drive the dog nuts with the laser.  In a pinch
they'll use a flashlight.

'course, with Kelly (our 12 years old Springer Spaniel) driving him
nuts is pretty easy - it's a short trip.  Dog is still convinced that
he's just a hairy human.

ObPeeve: (semi-compunerdy, skip if that offends you (and f*ck off as
well))  Got a compiler for messy-dos to do a project.  Needed lots of
memory, thus and doing work in 386 using a dos extender.  Libs came
with source code, something I thought was nifty.

Until I had to fix bug after bug in their code.  I know why they
provide source - because their library is so poorly tested that they
want you to fix the bugs, and provide the fixes to them.  Fuck that -
they can have my fixes when they're willing to pay for them.

The examples in the book sometimes don't *link*, and after linking
some don't execute.  Piss poor testing in my book.  

Oh, yeah: This is a Symantec Zortech(tm) C++ version 3.0r4 compiler.

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home
Will hack unix for food 		(.sig stolen from dt - sorry, dt)
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: on men
Date: 5 Oct 92 04:44:04 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

larry@summit.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:

>In article <lbf3snINNd4@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>   Men have two physiological advantages over women, to wit:

>	   (2)  We can fuck dead people.

>Its a fact. And we married men often get to do both.

"Sacre bleu!  I thought she was an American Girl!"
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: pacific@polari.online.com
Subject: Movie Theatres
Organization: Seattle Online Public Access Unix.  (206) 328-4944 (all lines telebit-equipped)
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 1992 12:48:12 GMT

     When I pay six dollars to see a movie, I don't want to  listen
to another patron talk to a friend about the movie or anything else.
I would like to hear the dialogue in the film, only.


John Cohen
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Nauseating people (was Death Peeve)
Date: 28 Sep 92 09:29:07 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1a2qkjINNpnb@agate.berkeley.edu>, curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:
> In article <1992Sep26.161744.7787@ac.dal.ca> Sybok writes:
>>
>>*SIIIIIGH*. No. It wasn't. The fellow swerved to miss an animal, lost control
>>of the car, and wrapped in around a telephone pole/flipped it into a ditch
> 
> There's a certain perseverance in idealism about an act like
> that, which I must confess attracts me.  Any fool can go to an
> anti-fur benefit concert.  But sacrificing your life to save a
> rat?  That's conviction for you.
> 
> I can only wish that more of the world's moron Canucks had such
> a commitment to moral ideals.
> 

Hey Curtis, I'm impressed. You've sunk to a new low, even for you. Your abject
stupidity astounds me (we won't get into your complete and utter lack of decency
since by now it's pretty obvious that, despite your pretentions to culture,
you don't have any). Did it occur to you that he might have swerved to avoid
a deer, bacause hitting it would have been certain death anyway? Of course not.
You were too preoccupied with trying to get a laugh, or possibly a cheap shot 
in. This may come as a shock to you, Curtis (although I doubt it. You must 
have been told this by now) but the truth is, you aren't funny. You aren't 
witty. You have no class, and you certainly do not have much of an 
intellect. In fact you remind me of a Pavlovian experiment gone horribly wrong.
All I'm seeing from you is an automatic response to a stimulus. Tell me, do
you salivate at the sound of a bell, too?

	In short, Curtis, I think you should take a good long look at yourself.
The truth is, you make most people ill. Actually, I'd be willing to bet your 
looks alone make people ill, but I'm referring here to your putrid personality.
To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, you have garlic in your soul.

	I'd be angry at your lack of common decency, Cutris, but right now
All I can feel is a strange combination of pity for such a pathetic specimen 
of humanity, and revulsion at that foul, pustulent, moggot filled expanse
of nauseauting bogwater you call a personality.

Later
Mike
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Date: 30 Sep 92 20:13:05 GMT
Organization: Circle K Prude Ranch

In article <1992Sep30.152428.16354@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:
>
>   I quit bovine products and meat a while ago.  I have lost about
>15 pounds so far, and have saved about 100 a month on my food
>bill, including the 50 I used to spend at McD's.  I also have
>a lot more energy, as my body spends less time processing
>cow fat and salt and cholesterol and steriods and growth harmones and
>antibiotics and triglycerides and fecal contaminants.

You used to spend fifty bucks a *month* at McD's!?! Holy Shit.

Peeve: I have to be in Los Alamos at least three evenings a week. Usually
I'm in too much of a rush to bring dinner, so I have to face the *two*
fast food places in Los Alamos: McD's and KFC. Ugga.

!Peeve: While driving through scenic Los Alamos yesterday afternoon,
I passed a long line of small political billboards (school superintendent,
county judge, etc.). Tucked into the middle of the bunch was a "Bill T.
Cat for Pres." 

'Fess up, Ballmann; I know you did it.
-- 
We've replaced the fine baby Jesus we normally use with crystal malt.
Let's see if they notice the difference.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Ye Olde Transuranic Dumpe
Date: Thu, 01 Oct 92 14:13:41 GMT
Organization: Manhattan Project Clam Chowder

In article <az-p9qd@lynx.unm.edu> jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann) writes:
>In article <4x-pnfh@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
>>
>>Peeve: I have to be in Los Alamos at least three evenings a week. Usually
>>I'm in too much of a rush to bring dinner, so I have to face the *two*
>>fast food places in Los Alamos: McD's and KFC. Ugga.
>>
>Depends how rigorously you apply "fast food" to your establishment of
>choice.  There's Sonic, greasy and cheap but none too fast, Cafe Allegro,
>delicious and expensive, and none too fast (and you have to leave your car),
>and Hot Shots, which is reputedly greasy, expensive, *and* slow.  With
>so many enticing dining opportunities around town, I can only recommend
>the Roach Coach for lunch hours (catch it at a technical area near *you*!)
>or bar food at the Los Alamos Inn at dinner.

For the Sonically-challenged, Sonic (short for SO NICe) is one of those
places where you park your car, yell into a speaker, and they bring out
your food on a tray which they hang from the window of your car. No,
the food is not brought out by an underage nymphette on roller skates;
it's usually brought out by Les, a slowly-moving middle-aged man with
a rather large bottom. Only a masochist tries the french fries more than
once.

Sorry, Jenny, I don't have my Q clearance, so I guess the Roach Coach
is out. The thought of getting blown away by one of your co-workers
just for climbing over the barbed wire to get a bite to eat makes my
usual fare at the gas station near the Hilltop look pretty good.

>ObTrivia:  The Los Alamos Inn is built atop the old, ahem, dump for the
>Manhattan project and is the hottest place in town.

Oh yeah? Is *that* where they keep Karen Silkwood's body? I always heard 
the babes were hot there...

>>!Peeve: While driving through scenic Los Alamos yesterday afternoon,
>>I passed a long line of small political billboards (school superintendent,
>>county judge, etc.). Tucked into the middle of the bunch was a "Bill T.
>>Cat for Pres." 
>>
>>'Fess up, Ballmann; I know you did it.
>
>Nope, it's Cthulhu/Yog-soggoth for me this November.  Met'em in person
>last week at the Inn.  Most of the skin's grown back on the hand, but
>there's something uncanny, yet revolting, yet unearthly, yet unsettling
>about its texture...

Hey, nobody ever told *me* Marilyn Quayle was in town.
-- 
We've replaced the fine baby Jesus we normally use with crystal malt.
Let's see if they notice the difference.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: corporate slime 
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 20:45:17 GMT
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Followup-To: alt.peeves

In article <ATAYLOR.92Sep29112026@gauss.nmsu.edu> Nosy writes:

>	Peeve. Professionally made agitprop films run as
>	"documentaries". If "Roger & Me" is a documentary,
>	so is "Triumph of the Will".....

I'll see your Peeve, Nosy, and raise you one Secret: I like "Triumph
of the Will."  And not just for the queasy, schlocky, Banality of Evil
aspect ("I know those SS officers were bastards, but *damn*, they knew how
to dress!"), more for the sheer spectacle on the screen.  Tens of thousands
of yammerheads doing a halftime show that'd put the Orange Bowl's Director
of Pageantry into the second-rate closet he deserves, searchlights,
airplanes, The Works.  If we didn't have "Triumph of the Will", we never
would have seen "Star Wars" (target of opportunity, I know).  Leni
Riefenstahl was a director with the perfect setup: unlimited budget and
a patron who would believe anything.  The result was insane, but stunning,
Entertainment.

But "Olympia" was better.

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "Often in error, never in doubt." 
rickg@netcom.com |   --- Universal Marketing Department motto
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Arana (Was: Vacation Peeve 2 - The rental car (Re: Mea Culpa)
Date: Tue, 06 Oct 92 05:34:22 GMT
Organization: Angry Bob's Gun Shoppe and House of Peeves

In article <1992Oct5.232052.1541@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>
>Yep.  Kids love to drive the dog nuts with the laser.  In a pinch
>they'll use a flashlight.

A true !Peeve is watching Russ's kids (well Matt anyway) run the wee
red spot across the Kepleryard, dog howling and snarling after it
until just when the dog catches up.

Then it's time to run the wee laser along the fence (aaahwooooo!) in
big ol' circles for the neighbors' benefit and once more along the
grass until <click> the spot is *gone*.

I'm tellin' ya, Russ, that dog is developing a pretty huge desire to
kill that laser spot. One of these days your kid is gonna be at home
with the dog when the mailman walks by. Sheesh, the poor guy is gonna
be wondering why the dog is goin' for his balls.

More laser fun, Kepler Kid Style: Playing Terminator by flashing ye
olde laser into the neighbors' windows.

d "hit the deck, martha; that kepler kid's got the .45" h
-- 
We've replaced the fine baby Jesus we normally use with Folgers crystals.
Let's see if they notice the difference.
From: Earth@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Vote! Vote! Vote!
Date: 29 Sep 92 08:03:35 GMT
Reply-To: Earth@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Organization: The Exploding Hot Drink

This is yet another reminder to vote.

Send mail to Earth@ed.ac.uk with your vote. The voting period
ends at 00:00GMT tonight, that is 16 hours after I post this.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: aaaaaaaaaaahhhH
Keywords: Dessert
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 12:53:18 GMT

In article <1992Sep28.020552.12748@syma.sussex.ac.uk> serget@syma.sussex.ac.uk (Serge Thill) writes:

[endless drivel.]

knock it off!

peeve: wankers.


-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: aaaaaaaaaaahhhH
Keywords: Dessert
Date: 28 Sep 92 13:55:54 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <1992Sep28.125318.14114@umbc3.umbc.edu> potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
=>
=>peeve: wankers.

Laura, you are the first 'Merkun (you *are* aren't you) I have seen use this
word.

Peeve: "Workmen" (sic). The story of the dreaded chimney liner was supposed 
to continue this morning. Last time the WorkmenFromHell came they left a
big pile of coal and sticks in the middle of the floor, next to the
disassembled fire grate, they shovelled coal-dust inside the VCR, they
left cigarette ash and butts in every vessel, they used at least 200 tea-bags
and a quart of milk, and much much more (see earlier peeves). Today they were
due to arrive at 8.30 am, so last night I spent several hours hiding any
equipment (like disk drives etc.) that doesn't benefit from an injection of
small particulate matter in cupboards, covering the floor and furniture in
newspaper, fixing a padlock to the fridge.. This morning I got up at 7.30
so I could eat my Sainsbury's Maple and Pecan Cornflakes with Sainsbury's
Greek-style yogurt (made with cow's milk) before they showed up. But they
didn't show up at all.

As an extra peeve, the Channel 4 morning news show has been replaced by an
unutterably bad show called "Big Breakfast", with the revolting Bob Geldoff
and his nasty wife, along with some git with a silly haircut. Fortunately
I haven't got a wide-screen TV, so I wasn't assaulted by the full power of
the Geldoff ego. On top of that, I turned over to watch BBC in order to see
the new newsreader whose name nobody seems to know, who is NotStunningly
AttractiveButIsQuiteSexyInACuteSortOfWay, but she wasn't on.

=>*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
=>*							--Anne Tucker     *

Sure we are. Check out these teeth. GRRRRRRRRHooooooowwwwwwwwwwwllllllllll!!!

-- 
=======Jeremy Henderson========jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk===============
Newsgroups: alt.peeves