HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: garrett@math.rice.edu (David Garrett)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: PA system mishaps
Date: 27 Jan 93 20:53:05 GMT
Organization: Once in a while

In article <27JAN199313323321@zeus.tamu.edu> hamlet@zeus.tamu.edu (Rosencrantz & Guildinstern are dead!) writes:
       ^
[actually, it's `Guild_e_nstern.' but on to the thread at hand...]

>>	In this instance, nothing embarrassing or 'juicy' was said, but I
>>was wondering, is there anyone out there who has been witness to such a mistake
>>in which the professor _did_ say something that he or she would probably
>>not have wanted broadcast over a loudspeaker?
[snip]
>Actually, this really belongs on alt.folklore.religous, but here goes.  Back
>when I lived in Dallas, the story was told of a preacher who was wearing
>one of these wireless mikes for his sermon.  After the sermon, he went 
>out to greet people as the left the auditorium.  As there was one or two
>more songs and a prayer remaining in the church service, he answered the 
>call to nature, with the mike still on, which cause a very loud tinkling
>noise heard throughout the auditorium.  (I know this sounds like naked gun
>2 1/2, but I heard this story before either movie came out!)

It really happened here in Houston, as well. The victim was none other than 
our erstwhile Mayor, Bob Lanier. It happened a couple of years ago before he 
was Mayor. At the time he was chairman of the local Transit Authority, and 
they were in the midst of a lengthy meeting. Bob decided he'd go relieve 
himself while a particularly long-winded speaker went on and on...except he 
forgot he was wearing a wireless mike. The sound of him unzipping his pants, 
relieving himself, then zipping up and flushing was duly broadcasted for all 
to hear back in the conference room, where everyone was doing their best not 
to laugh hysterically. When Bob came back in, someone finally got the nerve to 
tell him what had happened a few minutes later, at which point Bob ripped the 
mike off his lapel and flung it across the room. The funniest part is that 
some political cronies of his nemesis, then-Mayor Kathy Whitmire, were in 
charge of the local municipal cable channel. They got the whole thing on 
video and broadcast it. Later on the footage won some sort of award for 
reporting. Needless to say, when Bob was subsequently elected Mayor, there 
were a few folks down at the cable channel that were out of work shortly 
thereafter.

Dave Garrett
garrett@math.rice.edu
From: durrant@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (unknown)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Dead Professors and Tuition Refunds
Keywords: Profs, dead, $$$
Date: 23 Jan 93 02:14:05 GMT
Organization: Purdue University


A friend of mine was taking at philosophy class at Purdue--something about
the philosophy of religion and how it related to successful living--only to
open the newspaper one morning and find the professor had thrown himself
under a semi on I-65.  Guess his living wasn't too successful.

The class was taught by TA's for the rest of the semester (this was about two
weeks in) and she didn't get a refund or anything like that.

Christine ;-)
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3468 soc.college:6039 misc.education:6113
From: nwc1@midway.uchicago.edu (N.W. Choe)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,soc.college,misc.education
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Date: 24 Jan 93 22:13:39 GMT
Organization: Beaver Consulting Co.
X-Xxmessage-Id: <A7886FE63101748B@sl-mac-11.rh.uchicago.edu>
X-Xxdate: Sun, 24 Jan 93 22:10:14 GMT
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d13

In article <16B5CC88C.97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu> ,
97994779@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu writes:
>Here at WSU we often joke about that policy with rommates in the
residence
>halls. The policy actually is (I believe) That if your rommie dies
your
>classes are frozen. This is true of any family death You simply
tell Student
>Affairs and they contact all of your profs, etc.

The policy should be optional, I think. What if you're doing really
poorly thru
the first half of your course, but think you could pull off a C-to-A
conversion?

What if you're completely unaffected (at least not negatively so) by
your
newfound freedom? Sounds reasonable (motto coming up!) to make any
such policy
optional.
N.W. Choe    Beaver Consulting Co.- Chicago
5454 S. Shore Dr. #318
Chicago, IL 60615     312.702.4605
"Embarking upon the obvious to stumble upon the truth."
From: diverson@phys.ksu.edu (David Iverson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor
Date: 28 Jan 1993 15:46:40 GMT
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: bose.phys.ksu.edu

In <93026.085804MBADBH@rohvm1.rohmhaas.com> David B. Horvath, CDP <MBADBH@rohvm1.rohmhaas.com> writes:

>I'm seeking the true identity of Professor Staff - he (or she) is the one
>that gets to teach all of the classes that the other professors teach.

They're grad. students, not doctors, and yes they do all the real work.

-David "The machinery of capitalism is oiled with the blood of the workers"
Iverson  (a grad. student)

--
diverson@phys.ksu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: hagbard@gagme.chi.il.us (Brian W. Dunn)
Subject: Re: Help needed with prank.
Originator: hagbard@gagme
Organization: Gagme Public Access UNIX, Chicago, Illinois.
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 22:07:19 GMT

In article <1993Jan19.111137.1@exodus.valpo.edu> res_ewv@exodus.valpo.edu writes:
>Ok,
>
>Here's the deal.  I need get back at a couple of girls for a prank they
>pulled on me last semester.  These are my requirements:
>
>1.  Something fairly impressive.
>2.  Takes some planning.
>3.  Fairly original
>4.  Minimal physical damage
>5.  Little or no effect on roommates.  (they live separately)
>
>I am at a loss, so I am open too all suggestions.  Thanks.
>
>
>
>
> Eric Vaandering        Valparaiso University        Valparaiso IN, 46383
> E-Mail:                RES_EWV@exodus.valpo.edu     RES_EWV@VALPO.BITNET
> ____________________________________________________________________________
> If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Break into room, rearrange drawers, posters on walls, stuff in refrigerator.
Then don't mention that it happened.

-- 
If you did it and lived, then you probably did it right.
-hagbard@gagme.chi.il.us-
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: pratta@rpi.edu (Anthony Edward Prattico)
Subject: Re: Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 20:44:30 GMT

In article <93026.085804MBADBH@rohvm1.rohmhaas.com> David B. Horvath, CDP <MBADBH@rohvm1.rohmhaas.com> writes:

>I'm seeking the true identity of Professor Staff - he (or she) is the one
>that gets to teach all of the classes that the other professors teach.
>
>Look at a class catalog - most of the schools that I've attended have had
>this person on their staff and they teach most of the classes.  How does
>this person do it?  Time/Warp fields?
>
>   - David

Oh, there are several Professor Staffs. Didn't you know that the Staff family
is the largest in the world? They are among the best workers. Much more
efficient than even the Japanese. In fact, they are so highly thought of that
they are given private dining rooms (Staff cafeteriaas) and so plentiful they
must be listed in their own directories. (Staff directory, often alongside the
Faculty family.) They even have their own private closets and storage and
supply rooms (Staff only).


Anthony Prattico
pratta@rpi.edu
From: mswing@lonestar.utsa.edu (Michael S. Wingfield)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor
Date: 27 Jan 93 02:01:40 GMT
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio

In article <PRATTA.93Jan26154430@rebecca.rpi.edu> pratta@rpi.edu (Anthony Edward Prattico) writes:
>
>Oh, there are several Professor Staffs. Didn't you know that the Staff family
>is the largest in the world? They are among the best workers. Much more
>efficient than even the Japanese. In fact, they are so highly thought of that
>they are given private dining rooms (Staff cafeteriaas) and so plentiful they
>must be listed in their own directories. (Staff directory, often alongside the
>Faculty family.) They even have their own private closets and storage and
>supply rooms (Staff only).
>
>
>Anthony Prattico
>pratta@rpi.edu

Didn't one of them discover a disease? correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it
the infamous 'staff-infection'?

Miko "who is searching for the 'any key' on his keyboard"
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: reid@tsd.arlut.utexas.edu (Robert Reid)
Subject: Re: Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor
Organization: Applied Research Labs, University of Texas at Austin
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 14:12:31 GMT

mswing@lonestar.utsa.edu (Michael S. Wingfield) writes:

>In article <PRATTA.93Jan26154430@rebecca.rpi.edu> pratta@rpi.edu (Anthony Edward Prattico) writes:
>>
>>Oh, there are several Professor Staffs. Didn't you know that the Staff family
>>is the largest in the world? They are among the best workers. Much more
>>efficient than even the Japanese. In fact, they are so highly thought of that
>>they are given private dining rooms (Staff cafeteriaas) and so plentiful they
>>must be listed in their own directories. (Staff directory, often alongside the
>>Faculty family.) They even have their own private closets and storage and
>>supply rooms (Staff only).
>>
>>
>>Anthony Prattico
>>pratta@rpi.edu

>Didn't one of them discover a disease? correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it
>the infamous 'staff-infection'?

I think that you're getting them confused with the European branch of
the family which spells it 'staph.'

Robert
From: diverson@phys.ksu.edu (David Iverson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Dead Professors and Tuition Refunds
Date: 23 Jan 1993 22:54:59 GMT
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: bohr.phys.ksu.edu
Keywords: Profs, dead, $$$

Strangely enough, a friend of mine told me a totally unsolicited Professor
Suicide story this morning.  Basically, a professor of his (many years ago)
had looked like shit all the way through the semester, really bored, heavy
on the coffee for morning classes and beer in hand for evening exams.  When
my friend got to the punchline about the guy committing suicide I just
blurted out, "So what was the University's Policy?!?"  But he said that it
was at the end of the semester and the guy had already written the final
exam.  Drat!

-David "morbid SOB ain't I"  Iverson


--
diverson@phys.ksu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,alt.tasteless
From: garrett@math.rice.edu (David Garrett)
Subject: Re: Wierd Death
Summary: Who did he think he was, Santa Claus?
Organization: infrequently
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 01:54:03 GMT

In article <1993Jan21.190151.16950@vax5.cit.cornell.edu> kwix@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
>
>Greetings,
>
>Well I'm back at cornell, and we have had one of those incidents that
>will probabally become a legend at some point.  Seems a member of
>a fraternity got a little drunk and disappeared.  Two days later, 
>he was found, dead, stuck in a chiminey at another frat.  Seems he was
>trying to climb down and asphyxiated himself.  at one point, a janitor
>heard some moans, and couldn't track the source of the noise.
>
>The real question is what was he trying to do, and how did a drunk guy
>get up on a steep roof.  enquiring and sick minds want to know.
>

I just read about this in the paper this morning. It seems as though he 
was discovered when someone tried to light a fire and opened the flue, at 
which point our unlucky hero's pants and shoes came falling down the chimney 
into the fireplace.

No word on exactly why he depantsed himself before expiring, but just suppose 
that nothing had come down the chimney to alert the people below that there 
was a body stuck up there before they got the fire going good. 

Heh heh heh.

Dave
From: dave@cs.arizona.edu (Dave Schaumann)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor
Date: 26 Jan 93 21:31:32 GMT
Reply-To: dave@cs.arizona.edu (Dave Schaumann)
Organization: University of Arizona

In article <93026.085804MBADBH@rohvm1.rohmhaas.com>, MBADBH@rohvm1 (David B. Horvath, CDP) writes:
>I'm seeking the true identity of Professor Staff - he (or she) is the one
>that gets to teach all of the classes that the other professors teach.

No doubt a close relation of Tobe Announced.

They always catch the bus that's going to "Not In Service".

-- 
Essentia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatum -- William of Ockham
(Fact need not be multiplied beyond necessity)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: djg2@crux3.cit.cornell.edu (David J. Greenberger)
Subject: Re: Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor
Organization: Cornell Information Technologies
Date: 28 Jan 93 15:43:12 GMT

David B. Horvath, CDP <MBADBH@rohvm1.rohmhaas.com> writes:

>I'm seeking the true identity of Professor Staff - he (or she) is the one
>that gets to teach all of the classes that the other professors teach.

Hmmm...this Prof. Staff must be pretty busy!  He teaches here at Cornell also,
along with Prof. TBA.
--
|      David J. Greenberger      |   BBS: (212) 496-8324          |
|      106 West Avenue           |   Internet: djg2@cornell.edu   |
|      Ithaca, NY 14850          |   RIME: Common, ->48           |
|      (607) 272-2137            |                                |
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: dlphknob@cs1.bradley.edu (Jemaleddin Cole)
Subject: Roommates and professors
Organization: Panty of the Month Club
Date: 24 Jan 93 05:59:42 GMT

What if you frame your roommate for the murder of your professor, then make
it look like your roommate's death was a suicide?
--
       "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies,
and statistics."
		--Mark Twain
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
         dlphknob@camelot.bradley.edu - dlphknob@bucs1.bradley.edu
                 Jemaleddin Cole - Dolphin Knob - x1731
From: michaelb@cse.fau.edu (Michael Rogero Brown)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Dr. STAFF - the busiest instructor
Date: 27 Jan 93 17:22:16 GMT
Organization: Florida Atlantic University, Boca Raton, FL, USA

In article <93026.085804MBADBH@rohvm1.rohmhaas.com> dhorvath@mail.sas.upenn.edu writes:
>I'm seeking the true identity of Professor Staff - he (or she) is the one
>that gets to teach all of the classes that the other professors teach.
>
>Look at a class catalog - most of the schools that I've attended have had
>this person on their staff and they teach most of the classes.  How does
>this person do it?  Time/Warp fields?
>
Don't forget, he/she has a TWIN!!!    Professor TBA!

Unfortunatly, they have to teach the course the other profs don't want to.

-- 
<< Michael Rogero Brown                      | Disclaimer: I speak         >>
<< CS Graduate Student-Florida Atlantic Univ |  only for myself.           >>
<< Internet: michaelb@sunrise.cse.fau.edu    | All my opinions are         >>
<< BitNet: m_brown@fauvax                    |  that: mine & opinions.     >>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: danaf@bray1b.its.rpi.edu (Frank R. Dana Jr.)
Subject: Re: Help needed with prank.
Reply-To: danaf@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 06:31:03 GMT

In article <1993Jan20.151602.17926@rchland.ibm.com>, jdahl@rchland.vnet.ibm.com (Jared Dahl) writes:
|> In article <1993Jan19.233012.9982@midway.uchicago.edu>, wag5@quads.uchicago.edu (john peter wagner) writes:

|> |> 	2)Call the local newspaper and tell them to anounce the weddings
|> |> of Ms. X and Ms. Y, which will be happening together.  Send pictures with
|> |> the girls with their ex-boyfirneds(or current).  Make a copy if hard to

|> This is EVIL!!! :)  Even better, make sure it gets in their
|> hometown newspaper!!  Parents, old high school friends and siblings
|> will go nuts!  Also, many wedding announcments are printed without
|> pictures.

Actually, this would probably work best if you sent a picture of some REALLY
scary guy - a dirty octagenarian or zit-covered 12-year-old!  8)

|> -- 
|> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|> | Jared Dahl             | "My heart is human, my blood is boiling, | 
|> | Systems Programmer     |  my brain IBM"                           |
|> | IBM - Rochester, MN    |              -- STYX,  "Mr. Roboto"      |
|> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|> Opinions expressed are mine, not my employer's.
|> Don't send e-mail - I won't get it.

-- 
/////////////////////////[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
(718)             (212)                        (516)             (518)
=======Amiuser============Frank R. Dana, Jr.============Doc Ami=======     
--------My opinions rarely reflect those of any sane person,----------
	   living, dead, or undead... that's gonna CHANGE.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: zarthac@bradley.edu (Matthew Simmons)
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Organization: J. Random Misconfigured Site
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 05:47:40 GMT
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
X-Posted-From: cs1.bradley.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu


I died after 1st quarter, but I didn't get a 4.0... What up?

--
zarthac@cs1    \               / Macs are more bullet proof, because the  /
zarthac@camelot >.bradley.edu / authors have the leeway to assume total  /AMIGA
zarthac@buhub  /             / user idiocy - Charles C. Bundy IV        /   ///
-----------------------------------------------------------------------/   ///
And I've seen Windows CRASH, too...  nothing is bulletproof, you just /\\\/// 
need a big enough bullet. - Frank R. Dana, Jr.                       /  \XX/ 
--------------------------------------------------------------------/
This newsgroup is like a big cuddly never ending witch hunt.  The  / For the
only problem is that instead of spears and flaming piles of wood, / creative
we have soft cushy pillows. - Ian Kennedy (c.s.a.a)              / mind.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: pfleury@ddsw1.mcs.com (Patrick J. Fleury)
Subject: Re: Help needed with prank.
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 03:58:33 GMT
Organization: ddsw1.MCS.COM Contributor, Chicago, IL

In answer to your question about getting even with some female
friends, a pal of mine was once in the same situation with
3 female friends.  He - a very creative character in such
situations - did this.  

For the first one, a graduate student in psychology, he made up
a box which looked like the type of box you could ship an animal
through the mail with.  He put holes in it.  He printed carefully 
the fake name of an animal supply service.  He carefully drew
postage stamps on it.  (Not real stamps -- the meter kind. )
He then marked it "POISONOUS SNAKES -- HANDLE WITH CARE."  He 
marked it with other little signs like, "The snake has just
been fed.  It is asleep.  Do not waken it."  It looked like a _real_
snake box to anyone who did not know much about animal supply houses.
(I don't know if they really deliver snakes like that.  It just looked
plausible.)  He then snuck his fake snake box into the mail room of
the psychology department where this girl was a graduate student 
and put it with the usual pile of books and other packages which
come every day.  It freaked the secretaries out completely.  The
chairman was not too pleased.  The girl heard a lot about not
having poisonous snakes delivered to that office.  She was not
pleased.

The second was not quite so creative.  He just wrapped up a STOP
sign in brown paper and had it delivered to her mail room.  She
was told to get it out since it was illegal to have a stop sign.
As far as I know, she never did convince the police that he stole 
it and not her.

I liked the third.  He wrote away to a nudist camp in Indiana and asked
them to send her literature.  (Of course he did this over her signature.)
Somehow, he even managed to get them to send her a letter thanking her
for her interest and promising to have a member of the membership
committee come over to Illinois (this was at U of I in Urbana) to de-
scribe the camp to her.  This last woman was neat; she showed me the
letter and told me who she suspected - of course she was right - 
and vowed revenge.  I don't know if she ever got even though.
I was hoping she would try.  It was fun to watch this.


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: zarthac@bradley.edu (Matthew Simmons)
Subject: Re: Dead Professors and Tuition Refunds
Organization: J. Random Misconfigured Site
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 19:41:45 GMT
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
X-Posted-From: cs1.bradley.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

Adam Levin (st902415@pip.cc.brandeis.edu) wrote:
: In a similar vein, recently a guy at Simon's Rock of Bard College went
: on a shooting spree the week before final, killing two. They sent the 
: entire school home the next day! I wish I knew what happened there,
: because if it was good, I can think of a few people here who can surely
: be sacrificed for the greater good (insert smiley here for the humor 
: impaired.) 

This is what confuses me...  Why do people go on shooting sprees and only kill
one or two people?  At the least, they have 6 bullets, and if they're smart,
they have a MAC-10 (available in your local neighborhood ghetto) or Uzi, etc..
I mean, if you're going to go on a shooting spree, why not do it right?  Wait
until you're in the middle of a crowd, pull out said MAC-10, pull the trigger,
and pivot....  (Just a thought...)

--
zarthac@cs1    \               / Macs are more bullet proof, because the  /
zarthac@camelot >.bradley.edu / authors have the leeway to assume total  /AMIGA
zarthac@buhub  /             / user idiocy. - Charles C. Bundy IV       /   ///
-----------------------------------------------------------------------/   ///
And I've seen Windows CRASH, too...  nothing is bulletproof, you just /\\\/// 
need a big enough bullet. - Frank R. Dana, Jr.                       /  \XX/ 
--------------------------------------------------------------------/
This newsgroup is like a big cuddly never ending witch hunt.  The  / For the
only problem is that instead of spears and flaming piles of wood, / creative
we have soft cushy pillows. - Ian Kennedy (c.s.a.a)              / mind.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is also the fact that one generally wants to MAKE MONEY off products one
develops, not give them away to twerpy prepubescent drips who wouldn't pay for
software if it came out of the monitor and blew them. - Marc Wandschneider
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3457 soc.college:6029 misc.education:6087
Organization: The American University - University Computing Center
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 13:29:13 EST
From: Patrick Barton <PB5329A@auvm.american.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,soc.college,misc.education
Subject: Re: Roommates Suicide=Straight A's?
Distribution: world
 <1993Jan15.162538.30165@rchland.ibm.com>
 <1993Jan20.044229.29555@rigel.econ.uga.edu>
 <1993Jan20.090807.2505@ucbeh.san.uc.edu>

The assembled freshman class here at American U. were told that if our
roommate died, that we would get a 4.0 for the year...the funny thing is
that many of us (Not I, OF COURSE) believed it...the funnier thing is
that some STILL believe it...oh, the state of college students today...

humbly...patrick "I be just a lowly frosh" barton
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3484 alt.folklore.urban:35004