From: tes0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (THOMAS EDWIN SCHMIDLIN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: --> WANTED: Scottish ballad (and jokes)
Date: 9 Oct 92 16:27:43 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1992Oct6.152108.8443@ccu.umanitoba.ca>, jcoper@ccu.umanitoba.ca (D.
Joseph Creighton) writes:
>I am looking for a Scottish ballad I heard some time ago.  Someone told
>me that it was on a radio hurmor program "Doctor Demento."  The ballad's
>first verse was (paraphrased from memory):
>
>A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair,
>And one could tell by the way he walked
>That he drunk more than his share.
>He stumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
>Then he tumbled off into the grass
>To sleep beside the street.
>
>If anyone has the complete text to this, please send it as soon as
>possible via email, as I don't read the newsgroup that often.
>
>(Side bar: I also noted a Scottish jokes thread recently.  Is there a
>list someone has collected?  If so, I'd be grateful for it as well.)
>
>Many thanks.
>---
>     "Slow down faster!" - my wife, Laurie, about my driving habits.
>+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+
>D. Joseph Creighton  <jcoper@ccu.umanitoba.ca> - U of M Computer Services
>

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair,
and one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
he fumbled round unitl he could no longer keep his feet
then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

CHORUS
    Ring ding diddle iddle i dee oh
    Ring di diddley i oh
    he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
and one said to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt"

Chours
    Ring ding diddle iddle i dee oh
    Ring di diddley i oh
    I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
and lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
and there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

    Chorus
    Repeat last line

They marveled for a moment then one said we must be gone
let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
as a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show

    Chorus
    Repeat last line

Now the Scotsman woke to natures call and stumbled towards the trees
behind a bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
and in a startled vioce he says, to whats before his eyes
"Oh, lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize"

    Chorus
    Repeat last line


That's it the way I remember it, and I've heard it many, many times.  Good
luck!


Tom Schmidlin       DEEP THOUGHTS: By Jack Handey - If God dwells inside
TES0@LEHIGH.EDU         us, like some people say, I sure hope he likes
215-758-0875            enchiladas, cause that's what he's getting.
-- 


Tom Schmidlin       DEEP THOUGHTS: By Jack Handey - If God dwells inside
TES0@LEHIGH.EDU         us, like some people say, I sure hope he likes
215-758-0875            enchiladas, cause that's what he's getting.