Newsgroups: bit.listserv.autism
Date:         Mon, 28 Dec 1992 10:31:37 EST
              <AUTISM@SJUVM.BITNET>
From:         Daniel Mont <D6M@CORNELLA.BITNET>
Subject:      Alex's mentor

Well, given all the advice, interest and support I received last time
(I love this network) I thought I'd fill you in on some of the latest
with Alex.  The school did not assign a special aide to Alex on the
playground.  What they did was put an extra aide on the playground
when Alex is out there and instructed all the aides to look out for him.
From our sources (parents who help out) and one observation of Nanette's this
has worked with moderate success.  The success part is that the most
negative aspects of his playground time are gone. The bad part is that
it is not leading to positive interactions with other children.  We are
meeting with the principal in January. We will return to this aide discussion
yet again.

The school has assigned a very nice teacher to work with Alex 1/2 hour
every morning on writing stories.  This is very good for Alex in that
these stories are about daily life and activities and they are slowly
drawing him into communications that are not about games, math, and
science (his favorite topics).  I think this will be helpful for
Alex.  He gets similar stuff in speech class.

Alex seems very embarassed or inhibited about addressing his feelings
sometimes.  Occasionally I will see him smiling or upset and I
will ask him "what's so funny?", or "What's wrong?", or "What are
you thinking about?"  He will hold his hand up in front of his face and
look away (often down, in a very uncomfortable looking pose) and deny
his smile, tears, etc.  I'll say, "You don't have to talk to me about it.
I would love to hear if you want to tell me, but you can just say
'I don't feel like talking about it'". He'll then put his hand down and
say, "I don't feel like talking about it" and I'll respect his privacy.
I've learned to not "intrude" upon him as much, but on the other hand
I want to make efforts to talk to him about things.

He sometimes talks to himself, too.  I will occasionally not
realize this and ask him to repeat himself because I thought
he was talking to me.  He will get very upset in that uncomfortable
way.  I don't know why.  We have never even commented on his
talking to himself, and I see nothing wrong with it so I don't know
why he is embarassed about it.

I am digressing. Alex has been given a mentor, who will start after
the new year.  He is a theoretical physicist who has taught gifted
students before and has a 12 year old child that sounds very similar
to Alex.  We are looking forward to Alex establishing a new relationship
with someone and also getting challenged and not bored at school.  We
will also press for a friendship group (with older kids) for playing
games and stuff.  This was suggested by the school months ago with no
follow through. We will press for it at our meeting with the principal.

I asked Alex's mentor how he became a mentor.  He said that a friend of his
asked him to teach a summer program for gifted kids.  At the end of the
program there was no money to continue but the kids got a lot out of it,
socially as well academically.  It was the first time, for many of them,
that they were surrounded by kids like them.  The school system decided
that there must be some way to keep this group going, and they came up with
a neat solution.  They started a boy scout troop with those kids (I hope
they also started a girl scout troop) with Alex's mentor as the den leader.
New members only come in through the boys in the troop.  They do the usual
scout type activities (camping, etc) but they also spend lots of time
with computers, etc. and things that they like a lot and excel in.  Alex's
mentor said these kids are socially very backward and "real loners" (I
wonder how many are HFA's?) and don't form a very cohesive group. On the
other hand, they really enjoy the troop and it may very well be the only
social organization to which they feel they *belong* to.  He said
they are getting a reputations as that "somewhat crazy Troop" but
they don't mind. The other boy scout troops are unaware (supposedly) of
the origins and nature of this troop.

This sounded like a really neat idea.  These non-typical kids can be
part of a typical kids experience (complete with regional activities)
with a group that caters to them.  How do the rest of you feel about this
as a model of an organization for special kids?


Dan
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