From: aas7@po.CWRU.Edu (Andrew A. Spencer)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: You Might Be Considered a RED NECK if....
Date: 9 Nov 1992 01:24:09 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: aas7@po.CWRU.Edu (Andrew A. Spencer)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc5.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, mike@mote.Berkeley.EDU (Mike Friedrich) says:

>In article <roelle.719516754@uars_mag> roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle) writes:
>>chorley@vms.ocom.okstate.edu writes:
>>
>>>In article <92290.091108DXS8@psuvm.psu.edu>, Danette Smith <DXS8@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>>>>  1.  Your front porch collapses and you kill more than 6 dogs.
>>>>  2.  You've even used lard in BED.
>>>>  3.  You think potted meat on saltines is a HORS D' OEUVRE.
>>>>  4.  There is a stuffed possum mounted somewhere in your house.
>>>>  5.  You consider a six-pack & a bug zapper as quality entertainment.
>>>>  6.  Less than half the cars you own run.
>>>>  7.  Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling
>>>>      the state trooper to kiss off.
>>>>  8.  The primary color of your car is "Bondo"
>>>>  9.  You honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive
>>>>      tongue gestures.
>>>> 10.  Your family tree doesn't fork.
>>>> 11.  You've hollered "ROCK THE HOUSE, BUBBA" during a piano recital.
>>>> 12.  Your mother has never been involved in a fist fight at a high school
>>>>      sports events.
>>>> 13.  You've even barbecued SPAM on the grill.
>>>> 14.  Your neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lighting.
>>>> 15.  Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
>>>> 16.  The rear tires are twice as wide as your front ones.
>>>> 17.  You consider "Outdoor Life" as deep reading.
>>>> 18.  The diploma hanging in your den has "Trucking Institute" somewhere
>>>>      on it.
>>>> 19.  Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
>>>> 20.  You've even worn a tube top to a wedding.
>>>> 21.  You think "DOM PERIGNON" is a Mafia leader.
>>>> 22.  Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening
>>>>      on the lube rack.
>>>> 23.  You think a VOLVO is part of woman's anatomy.
>>>> 24.  You've been too drunk to FISH.
>>>> 25.  You've had a rag for a gas cap.
>>>> 26.  You've even used a Weed Eater inside.
>>>> 27.  You have shackles on the rear of your car.
>>>> 28.  Your idea of sexual foreplay is telling you female partner "GET YOUR
>>>>      CLOTHES OFF B*TCH".
>>>> 29.  You wear white socks with black pants and have a car with a rebel flag
>>>>      in the back.
>>>> 
>>
>>>30. Your brother-in-law buys a new home and invites you over to help him 
>>>take the wheels off
>>
>>>31. You think of a family gathering as a good place to meet babes.
>>
>>32.  Your mother-in-law is your daughter.  (think about that a minute...)
>
>33.  The sign, "Say no to crack" reminds you to pull up your pants in the
>     back.
>
34. You own a tricycle with a gun rack on it.

35. You've ever made love in a satellite dish.

36. One of your sister's educational goals is  to graduate before becomming 
         pregnant.

37.  You had to open the door to turn on the light after having sex.
***************************************************************************
contrary to popular opinion, all rednecks are NOT married to their sisters
and have seen a UFO.....I'm just dating myne and couldn't swear it wasn't
a weather baloon!
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police officer to man in truck:

'scuse me sir?..do you know why i pulled you over?

well..no, i don't need a cold beer, and i don't think you need another one
either!

well, sir..it's about that veeHICul yer towin'...

no sir, it's not illegal to tow a boat, but we do require that it be on a 
trailer!
 
could you ask yer friends to get out of the boat, sir?

hell, i don't car if the fish are bitin'!
you lost yer skiier a mile back!
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email any response to aas7@po.cwru.edu
thanx
(no, it's not original..so what?)
DREW
-- 
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?????????????????????????????????-----whatever!