From: dtasman@NMSU.edu (Dan Tasman)
Subject: Re: Females have it easy!
Organization: New Mexico State University
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 23:17:42 GMT

I've been lurking for too long ....

:  oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
> JoeMan@ (Joe Tooman) writes:

> Not to bitch or anything, but it seems to me that the female does not have
> any problem finding a guy anytime she feels like she wants a relationship.
 
: Funny.  I thought it was the other way around.  Yes, I *have* had my share
: of boyfriends in my quarter of a century, but to be honest, the vast majority
: were during the high school years.  I really didn't date much in college.  I
: didn't date during my freshman, sophomore, or junior year.  It wasn't until
: I was a senior that I began to date someone seriously.
 
Sorry, Sharon.  I've heard both men and women say it, and with personal  
experience it's true.  The woman chooses who she wants to go out with.  The man  
chooses who is going to reject him.  I'd like to set up a simple experiment ...  
an equal amount of equally attractive men and women are placed in a social  
setting.  Wheile the men will probably pursue the women in the traditional  
manner, the women will be in the position of power to pick and choose who she  
wants to end up with.  It's hard to explain ... perhaps someone who shares my  
opinion can describe it more eloquently.

> As a guy, I find that it is very hard to find a female that seems intrested.
 
: I'm sure that there are plenty of females in the same position.  While I
: was in college, I had a lot of very nice, very funny female friends who 
: could not for the life of them get a date.  They were reasonably attractive
: women as far as societal standards go.
 
> I have a good personality and I am told I rate an 7 on a scale from 1 to 10
> looks wise.  
 
: Actually, as far as I'm concerned, looks aren't everything.  I'd rather have
: a guy who is a 10 on the personality scale.  I admit, there are certain 
: guys I find more physically attractive than others, but looks are /not/ my
: first consideration.
 
> In my last relationship, my SO always commented how a guy would
> ask for her phone number once a day on average, while I have never been asked
> once for my phone number except by some undesirables.
 
: Well, this may be your former SO's experience.  It's not mine.  Yes, men
: have asked me for my phone number before, but I have to wonder if your 
: ex was exaggerating somewhat.  Or maybe she really does have a shining 
: personality that just draws people to her.  Who knows?

I find I ask for phone numbers more frequently than I am asked for mine.  I can  
relate to Joe with "undesirables" asking for his number ... women that make it  
known that they are attracted to me are usually _very_ overweight (I am not  
attracted to women who are physically larger than I am, flames will be  
ignored), have children and are looking for a "daddy" more than a companion  
(I'm still young, and I prefer dating individuals, not families), and  
uneducated, uncultured "white trash" whose dream in life is to move into a  
"double wide."
 
> Maybe it is I don't do
> something right, or am not that persistant, but I am sure envious of women
> at this point.  I am moderatly shy, but that will not stop me from asking
> a woman I am intrested in for her phone number, but it would be a whole lot
> nicer if it was the other way around!  Oh well, what do you guys think...
 
: Heck!  If I met a guy I really, really liked, I'd probably ask for his
: phone number.  Of course, most of the guys I know who are candidates are
: already attached.  (Sigh!)

It's rarely happened ... In fact, I can't even remember _ever_ being asked for  
my phone number.  I'm "cute", or so I've been told, and I've been told many  
times that I'm a good catch.  It's really depressing, thinking of it all.

: Believe me, Joe, things are tough all over.  :-)  No, really, I guess I 
: can't complain too much about my situation.  I /have/ had offers (more than
: one even) since I broke up with the ex.  
 
: By the way, why were the women who asked you for your phone number
: "undesirable"?  Do you mean this in a physical manner?   Because I think 
: that if you look beyond the exterior, you might be surprised.  

It is verry difficult to explain to people that there are certain people that I  
am not attracted to.  While it is perfectly acceptable to be unattracted to  
someone because of their personality, it isn't politically correct to consider  
physical aspects.  I wouldn't go out with a brainless beauty, no matter how  
many magazine covers she posed for, because it would just get dull after a  
while ... the realtionship wouldn't be stimulating, and I don't feel I could  
grow in the relationship.  Likewise, I couldn't be attracted to someone who I  
don't find physically attractive (read _not_ stunning, just simply attractive,  
>5 on the classic 1-10 scale).  I, like most men I know, enjoy a happy medium.   


--
   Dan Tasman                                       dtasman@dante.nmsu.edu
                                                     molson@rever.nmsu.edu
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   "I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree
    Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
                                                                Ogden Nash
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