Newsgroups: soc.men,alt.dads-rights
Subject: Men's Issues Newsbriefs #46
From: dgross@polyslo.csc.calpoly.edu (Dave Gross)
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 17:40:49 GMT
Reply-To: dgross@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU (Dave Gross)
Organization: Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet,                 Looseliver, Vendetta & Pang

	* Jim Murray analyzes the state of denial in the sport of
	  boxing over the brain-damaged veterans of the ring.
	* Single fathers find parenting a rewarding job, but one
	  that turns their lives on end.
	* A boy denied a spot on his school's field hockey team
	  was allowed to play by a federal judge.
	* The prosecutor claims sex bias after a woman who seduced
	  boys with pornography and alcohol gets off with probation.
	* New California child support laws are criticised as being
	  an unfair power move.
	* 1990 Census facts about custody, visitation and child
	  support.
	* Visitation wars are difficult to fight.
	* Fathers have a friend in the Ohio Legislature.
	* Ross Perot supported the kidnapping of Hilary Foretich.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	Source:  Los Angeles Times, 21 July 1992
	Original article by Jim Murray
	IT'S "THE GREATEST" LIE OF ALL
	----------------------------------------

One of the things boxing as a sport doesn't want to face up to is the true
state of affairs concerning Muhammad Ali.  Is he a casualty of boxing, merely
another piece of human flotsam thrown up by that cruel sport, or is he the
victim of a disease that might have happened to him anyway?

Muhammad Ali probably was the most stunning physical specimen any sport ever
produced.  Fair of face, beauty of body, a quick mind, reflexes of a crouched
leopard, he might have been anything in sports.  Vince Lombardi, no less, once
agreed he might have made a superb tight end.  If someone had put a basketball
in his hands instead of boxing gloves, he might have been as good a backcourt
man as the game can produce.  He certainly had the hand-eye coordination to be
a great baseball player.

He chose pugilism.  Or pugilism chose him.  When he was a young Olympian, the
sport seemed all too right for him.  It suited his bombast, his reverence for
the limelight.  He was never really extended.  It was an easy game for him.
Three rounds of brilliant maneuvering, swiftness of hands and feed, a gold
medal, picture on magazine covers.  The good life.  He never even got a nose-
bleed.

I remember one night my late wife, at a party at promoter Aileen Eaton's
house, took one look at Ali and his next opponent, Alejandro Lavorante,
resplendent in white dinner jackets, and she moaned.  "Who in the world would
put two such beautiful specimens as you two in a ring to knock each other
bloody?" she asked bitterly.

Two years later, Alejandro Lavorante would be in a coma, dying a lingering
death from the effects of beatings in the ring.  Two decades later, Ali, the
quick-witted, quick-tongued artist of the squared circle, would be a shambling,
stumbling, stuttering, mumbling replica of himself.

Is boxing at fault here?  It hopes not.  It's one thing for slow-moving, slow-
witted second-raters to be going around sparring with light poles or tracking
invisible flights of birds overhead.  It brings a wince to apply that terrible
adjective "punch drunk" to the purest specimen the game has seen, probably its
greatest champion of them all.

So it's not surprising when promoters, managers, trainers and even announcers
gravely convince themselves that Ali's troubles are because of a disease that
may have nothing to do with the prize ring -- Parkinson's disease.  They don't
want to think the unthinkable.  They don't want Ali to be a terrible
advertisement for their suspect industry.

Ferdie Pacheco was Ali's doctor and even cornerman in many of his most
important bouts.  He diagnosed boxing-related medical problems while Ali was
still fighting, and left the Ali camp when his warnings that Ali not fight
went unheeded.  He has written a book:  "Muhammad Ali -- A View From the
Corner."

Notes Pacheco:  "Boxing apologists immediately claimed that Joe Louis' problems
stemmed from drugs, [Sugar Ray] Robinson's from old age [he died from Alzheim-
er's disease], and Ali's from Parkinson's disease.

"It is both bewildering and discouraging that supposedly intelligent men,
without benefit of medical education or practical clinical experience, can
airily dismiss boxing as the prime cause of these disorders."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	From:  Anne P. Mitchell (shedevil@vix.com)
	Source:  USA Today
	Original article by Marilyn Elias
	PARENTING TURNS MEN'S LIVES ON END
	------------------------------------------

William Van Wert had three sons under 5 years old when his wife left the
family.  He was sure of only one thing: "There was no way I could do a good
job with them.

"I thought they couldn't be normal, they wouldn't like women and they'd have
to go to therapy to figure out how damaged they were."  by now, however, those
doubts have faded and Sunday will be Father's Day.

A single father raising his children was unusual when Van Wert, a professor at
Temple University in Philadelphia, faced that prospect in 1980.

But between 1985 and 1989 alone, the number of$single father-headed homes
soared from 1.3 million to 1.8 million, three times the rate of female-headed
families, new Census data show.  Dads now head 21% of single-parent
households.  Fueling the trend, say experts:

	* Judges' willingness to award custody to men.
	* Mothers bowing out after divorce in favor of careers.

"The economics that drive it are very compelling," says Yale University child
psychiatrist Kyle Pruett.  "As more and more American children sink into
poverty, it's hard for judges to turn away fathers who can provide better."
According to the Census data, single mothers have an average $13,000 annual
income vs. $29,000 for single dads.

But money doesn't shield fathers from the shell-shock of being the primary
parent.  They discover, as single moms know, that being a parent can wreak
havoc on their lives.

Van Wert says the woman upstairs took care of his sons while he taught film
and creative writing.  Two boys were still in diapers and getting up during
the night, so he sleep-walked through the weeks.  "I thought, `I'll never have
a normal social life again.  I'm going to die doing this,'" says Van Wert.

Aspen Colo., dermatologist Stephen Mandy has cared for 8-year-old Ashley since
she was 2:  "For quite a while, the only time off I had when I wasn't working,
I was nursemaiding."

Parenthood prompts about 3 out of 4 single fathers to make changes at work,
says Geoffrey Greif, who surveyed 2,273 of them for his book, _The Daddy Track
and the Single Father_ (Lexington Books).  Most common are shortened hours and
curtailed travel.

For Raymond Flannagan of Washington, D.C., it even meant losing a job.
Getting daughter Trina off to school often made him late to work, and he was
eventually fired from his job as an audio visual service technician.  "The
major reason was lateness," says Flannagan, whose first wife died.

For a while, he did process-serving, which provided more flexible hours.  But
when a second marriage ended in divorce and Flannagan got custody of infant
Cerzell, too, he says, the care needed by both girls forced him to quit work.

Now the family lives in public housing in an area he considered unsafe.  "But
at least I can be there for them - they do have that," he says.

A single dad's social life often takes a back-seat to parenting.  Mandy says
his social life "went to hell in a bucket."  Van Wert remembers falling asleep
at the movies on a date.  Sick kids sometimes killed romantic evenings.

So it takes the average single dad three years to have his first "meaningful"
relationship, Greif found.  But for many, a playboy lifestyle is out of the
question.

"I don't want Ashley to wake up and find women in my bedroom.... I don't even
bring anybody home unless they're really special," says Mandy, who is divorced.

Despite the hassles, four years after gaining custody 72% of men surveyed by
Greif say the reward of getting closer to their children often$outweigh
problems.

"For the most part, it's been a joy," says Flannagan.  "You watch them develop
and think, `I helped make them that way.'  ....Trina (now 9) is such a caring
girl, and she's done very well in school."

The evidence so far suggests that children raised by men fare no worse - and
no better - than those raised by women, says psychologist Richard Warshak.
His book, _The Custody Revolution:  The Father Factor and the Motherhood
Mystique_ (Poseidon Press), due in September, summarizes new findings on
custody and mental health.

He's found frequent access to their mothers and lack of hostility between
parents lead to better adjustment for the kids.

Some studies find that boys do better with dads than0do girls.  But this
doesn't mean men can't raise mentally healthy females, Warshak says.  In
adolescence, it may be important to provide good female role models - just as
single moms are urged to cultivate adult male friends for their sons.

But not everyone agrees that single fatherhood is all good news.  "The `new
age' man just isn't that common, and kids need a lot of nurturing," says
Philadelphia psychotherapist Jon Benjamin Franklin.  "I've heard single
fathers say, `I had no idea what a huge job it was,'   We can learn, we're not
brain dead.  But it does go against the grain of how men are raised."

Feminist psychologist Phyllis Chesler says the new trend is a disaster for
women and children.  "Judges are giving kids to sex abusers now.  They even
give men breast-feeding infants - and do it in such a vicious way that it's
got to be backlash," says Chesler, author of _Mothers on Trial:  The Battle
for Children and Custody_ (Harcourt, Brace, jovanovich).0 "It would be great
if they were parenting.  Too few are.  They're delegating it to older
children, baby sitters, paternal grandmothers."

The jury is still out on how well father-reared kids will do over time, say
Michael Lamb, a parenting expert at the National Institute of Child Health and
Human Development.  "But the more we study the impact of parent-child
relations, the more we see that the gender of the parent is less important
than the qualities of a particular parent," he says.

The jury certainly isn't out for 16-year-old Ian Van Wert: "We're pretty close
and, I'd say, a happy family."  And Ian says his dad "does a very good job.
He's devoted to us.... I want to be like him in a lot of ways.... I'd really
like to have his patience, his caring.  I feel very close to my dad."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	Source:  Telegram Tribune, 15 July 1992
	JUDGE ALLOWS BOY TO PLAY ON GIRLS TEAM
	---------------------------------------

A boy can join the all-girls field hockey team at Liberty High School in
Bethlehem, a federal judge has ruled.  John Williams' parents sued the school
when he was banned from the team as a freshman, charging discrimination.

Senior U.S. District Judge E. Mac Troutman ruled that because Liberty does not
have a field hockey team for boys, excluding boys from the girls' teams was
discriminatory.

"I think it's a wonderful victory not only for John, but for athletes every-
where who face discrimination on the basis of gender," said Williams' lawyer,
Christina Rainville.

Dominic Villani, athletic director at Liberty, said he has not seen the
decision and declined to comment.  Williams, now a junior, did$not return
phone messages Tuesday evening.

Troutman decided the case before it reached trial, granting Williams' motion
for summary judgment, noting the court was able "to dispose of the case in
time for the 1992 scholastic field hockey season."  Rainville called the timing
gratifying because Williams could play two seasons before graduating.

Williams was selected as a goalie for Liberty's junior varsity squad in 1990.
But at the end of preseason practice, Bethlehem School Districe officials
told the team's coach that Williams would not be allowed to practice or play
with the team.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	Source: Los Angeles Times, 21 Jyuly 1992
	WOMAN GETS PROBATION FOR HAVING SEX WITH 10 BOYS
	------------------------------------------------

A 40-year-old Granada Hills woman was sentenced to five years' probation for
having sex with 10 teen-age boys, prompting the prosecutor to complain that
women who commit sex crimes with minors are not punished as rigorously as men.

"If this was a man he absolutely would have gone to state prison," said
Deputy District Attorney Craig Richman.

Faye D. Abramowitz faced a maximum sentence of 7 years and 8 months in prison
after pleading no contest Monday in San Fernando Municipal Court to three
counts of lewd conduct with a child and five counts of oral copulation with a
minor.

According to court records, Abramowitz$invited boys aged 14 to 16 to a house
she rented in Granada Hills and served them alcoholic drinks while showing them
sex videos and then engaging in sex with them.  The incidents happened
regularly for about a year until one boy told an adult, and police were called
in April.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	From: noraa@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (aaron.l.hoffmeyer)
	Source: Central Ohio Fathers And Children for Equality Newsletter
	CALIFORNIA CHILD SUPPORT LAWS ARE A TANGLED WEB
	-----------------------------------------------------------------

In California, child support initiatives, though well meaning, have in the
aggregate created the opposite of what is intended, states an editorial in the
influential _Family and Conciliation Courts Reviews_, January 1992, issue.

The editorial discusses the potential negative effects of SB 101, the bill
that would wipe out the credit in financial child support for joint custody.

The editorial is coauthored by Hugh McIsaac, director, and Maxine Baker-
Jackson, assistant director of Family Court Services in Los Angeles, the
largest mediation-type court service in the US.

The editorial states that the gender revolution may be replacing one bias for
another.  "A bias is rooted in the search for power, the power to take
advantage of another, to discount their existence, or to deny their right for
consideration.... We sense some of the seeds of this new bias in the demand
for a preference for primary custody or increasing child support without a
commensurate concern about the child's need for meaningful contact with both
parents or the effect on the total family system.

"In fact, we may achieve the opposite of what is intended.  We may be
accomplishing the consequences not unlike those achieved by california's
mandatory sentencing laws which have not solved crime but have created
overcrowded prisons, burgeoning crime rates and a system whose cost is
exceeded only by its ineffectiveness."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	Source:  Children's and Parents Rights Association of Ohio
		 (Data from 1990 Census)
	Facts About Custody, Visitation, and Child Support
	----------------------------------------------------------

* 37.8% of noncustodial fathers have no visitation rights.
* 54.9% of noncustodial fathers have some visitation rights but little
  enforcement.
* 7.3% of noncustodial fathers have joint custody (shared parenting).
* Fathers with joint custody (shared parenting) paid 90.2% of support.
* Fathers with visitation rights paid 79.1% of support.
* Fathers with no rights paid 44.5% of ordered support.
* 86% of fathers who did not pay support did not have visitation.
* 1.8 million (15%) of fathers have custody.
Source: Children's And Parents Rights Association (CAPRA) Of Ohio

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	Source: Dayton Daily News, June 1992
	Original article by Julie Hagason
	VISITATION WARS ARE COSTLY
	----------------------------------

In the pages of her journal, Marie records the heartaches of a mother who is
not allowed to see her child.  It's not that she's a bad mom.  The courts have
granted her visitation rights.  But, Marie's former husband, who has custody
of their 12-year-old son, doesn't cooperate.  When that happens, she can't do
much about it.  Neither can the law.

There are lots of parents in her situation.  Each year, Montgomery County logs
2,000 new divorce or dissolution cases involving minor children.  In an
estimated 5 to 10 percent of such cases, the parent who has custody tries to
prevent contact between the child or children and the other parent.

The court does a good job of enforcing child support, Marie said.  I wish they
would come up with a means to enforce visitation rights.  But that is not as
easy as its sounds, court officials say.

The courts have remedies for parents who withhold visitation rights, but is
reluctant to use the most powerful one, jail time, because it removes the
children's caretaker from home, and because it hurts children more than anyone
else.

"If the noncustodial parent has a job it is easy to collect child support
through payroll deduction.  Collecting children is a little more complicated,"
states Judith King, Chief Referee of the Montgomery County Domestic Relations
Court.

"Children see police action and jail sentences as punishment for bad people.
They see their parents as good people. A parent in jail distresses and
confuses them."  That's little consolation for Marie.

"My heart pounds inside my chest every time i pull up to the house where my
son lives," Marie said. "Often, the house is quiet and no one comes to the
door."

To protect the identities of their children, Marie and other parents quoted
asked that their last names not be used.

Most noncustodial parents are men who are obligated to pay child support
regardless of whether their ex-wives allow them access to their children.

Brian is divorced and his former wife has custody of their 8-year-old
daughters.  "Ex-wives can be spiteful," he said.  "Especially when they want
you out of their life.  They can accuse you of anything.  They don't need
evidence," he said.  "My ex called Children Services on me.  She made all
kinds of wild accusations, and I had to hire a lawyer to defend myself."

Brian said he came home from a fishing trip [last] June to find that his wife
had moved out in his absence, taking their three young sons.  "For nearly four
months, she wouldn't let me see them at all," he said.  "It's unfair, unjust
and uncalled for on her part.  They're my children, too.  Without them, I feel
empty and hurt - hollow inside."

"When both parents are reasonable, the system works pretty well," referee King
said.  "But people often emerge from divorcee feeling hurt, angry and
betrayed.  Sometimes those emotions cause them to behave irrationally."
Irrational people play havoc with the system, court officials say.  They
create an atmosphere of conflict in which everyone suffers.

"Parents who deny visitation sometimes believe they're acting in the child's
best interest," King said.  "But parents7 personal feelings short-circuit good
judgment.  When people want to continue the battle, they find a way to
continue the battle."

Any excuse will do.  King knows of a case where dad had the kid's hair cut and
Mom didn't like the way it looked.  She decided to withhold his visitation
rights indefinitely, but a bad haircut is no reason to deny a father a role in
his children's lives.  When visitation rights are withheld, the only recourse
for the noncustodial parent is to petition the court, which Marie does
periodically.

She said she pays a lawyer $300 to $500 every time she goes through the
process.  The court consistently finds her ex-husband in contempt of court,
she said, but rarely is he required to reimburse her legal fees.

Most people eventually run out of money, and give up. Marie says she'll never
give up.  "I want my son to know that I love him, and that I want to be part
of his life."

When Marie takes her son's father to court, she must present "clear and
convincing evidence" that he is withholding visitation fights, and is
therefore, in contempt of court.  Otherwise, it's her word against his, and
that's not good enough.

Clear and convincing evidence usually means an impartial witness such as a
police officer or deputy sheriff.

It's a no-win situation.  When a parent calls for a child accompanied by a
uniformed officer, that tells the child, "your parents are fighting and you
are in the middle."  It says to the child, "you are being manipulated and
traumatized, and you're probably going to need counseling to get over it."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

	Source: Columbus Dispatch, June 1992
	Original article by Mary Yost 
	Fairer Child Visitation Orders Sought
	-------------------------------------

Parents who lose custody of their children in a divorce could win more
visitation time under legislation unveiled yesterday in the Ohio Senate.

Also yesterday, state child support enforcement officials told a House
committee they will begin using private credit reporting agencies to track
down parents who are not paying child support.

Sen. Richard Schafrath, R-Loudonville, said it is "no coincidence" he
introduced Senate Bill 352 the week before Father's day.  As a divorced father
of seven, Schafrath said he wants to see judges set more uniform visitation
orders throughout the state.

State law now requires judges to put reasonable visitation orders in writing
when deciding divorces, but the law does not define reasonable.  Schafrath
said his bill would give parents without custody the right to see their
children about one third of the year.

In many counties, judges standard visitation orders limit the time non-
custodial parents can spend with their children to less than one fifth of a
year.

Some counties have no standard visitation orders, according to information
compiled by the Children and Parents Rights Association of Ohio, a group that
lobbies primarily on the behalf of fathers.

The association chairman, Andrew Cvercko of Youngstown, joined$Schafrath in a
news conference promoting his legislation.  Cverko said Mahoning and Columbia
counties are among the best in the state for promoting the rights of both
parents to continue relationships with their children.

"We don't call it visitation. We call it `parenting time,'" Cvercko said.

If uniform guidelines are adopted, parents with custody would not be able to
move to counties with less liberal visitation policies.  That would help solve
the problem with enforcing visitation.

Schafrath introduced another bill, Senate Bill 302, in March, to create most
wanted posters of those who are violating visitation orders.  That bill is
assigned to the Senate Health and Human Services Committee, but has yet to
receive a hearing.

The House Children and Youth Committee yesterday reviewed plans to carry out
another proposed poster law, Senate Bill 10.  Enacted earlier this year, it
requires the Department of Human Services to publish periodic most-wanted
parents who are behind in child support payments.

========================================================================

	Excerpts from a transcript of H. Ross Perot at the National Press
	Conference on December 6, 1990 (Mick Rood questioning):
	H. ROSS PEROT SUPPORTED HILARY FORETICH KIDNAPPING

ROOD:  Changing topics here:  You were very active in the custody battle over
young Hilary Foretich.  Are you satisfied with how it's turned out?

PEROT:  I don't want to get into that.  I'm just glad that the - we had this
poor woman in jail for 2 years.  I read about it, felt that no mother should
stay in jail for keeping her child from being sexually abused by the father.
Did a lot of checking to make sure.  Hired a lot of good law firms in
Washington and investigative groups to check.  Confirmed that they believed it
to be true.  The best part of that experience was seeking a "Who's Who" of
Congress - she wasn't in their district; there was nothing in it for them -
just spend an inordinate amount of time so that this poor woman could get out
of jail.  She'd been in jail, I think, 20 months.  She was the leading plastic
surgeon in Washington, and you can imagine what a devastating experience that
would be.  You say, "Well, all she had to do was tell the judge where the
little girl was."  Now, here's the test.  You're a plastic surgeon.  You've
had all the breaks, you've had the wonderful education.  You sit there in that
Washington, D.C. jail for 20 months, you've got to believe that your former
husband would abuse that little girl, right?  To make a long story short, that
one's over.
-- 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- dgross@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Men who tune in will see their gender portrayed as mostly bullies, brutes and
no-account losers.  One of the only nice guys in the movie winds up getting beat
with a 2x4 by a lesbian..."  --  a report on "The Women of Brewster Place"
Newsgroups: soc.men,soc.women,misc.legal,alt.child-support,alt.dads-rights