From: rhlu@ux5.lbl.gov (richard lu)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: Call For New FAQ
Date: 14 Aug 92 19:22:32 GMT
Article-I.D.: overload.1992Aug14.192232.786
Reply-To: rhlu@ux5.lbl.gov (richard lu)
Distribution: usa
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory



Re:  Clare's FAQ piece

This was REALLY funny!  :D  I loved it!

>Scene 1:
>
> 1)  The interested AAF will invite you to parties (not as a
>  date), but as in "My friends are getting together for a
>   <excuse of some type>, do you want to come and help us
>    celebrate?"

True, this is the most common one (at least from what I've seen).
But dontcha HATE it when the AAM&/F's _parents_ are doing the set-up!?
Try this one:
  Mom:  Richard?  How would you like to go over to the X's and help
	their daughter bake a cake?
  me:  i-don't-think-so (most effective when said as fast as possible
       or as slow as possible)

OK, OK, I hear all you people snickering....  :)  Yeah, this happens
to me alot in one form or another (e.g. cake baking (_real_ lame, that
one!), b-day party, picnic, etc).  The problem here is that I keep my
social life a total mystery to my folks, so they think I'm sitting in
a corner chewing on nachos or something, instead of finding me a woman.
However, I prefer them having this impression rather than facing all
the nosiness about what the girl is like and what does she study and what
ethic background is she from (you can't forget that one)  :)   Ugh.  :)

>Scene 2:
>
> 1)  The more athletic interested AAF will frequently suggest
>  tennis matches.

Yes!  but you also forgot BADMINTON matches :)  Everytime the gym at
Cal is set up for badminton, I always see at least one asian couple
engaged in (presumably) this scenario.  In my case, however, it was
tennis.  Having had NO playing time since my teeniebopper days, I
nonetheless accepted the invite, thinking my Montgomery Ward's wooden
racket would magically protect me.  It didn't.  I got slammed so bad
that I think she lost interest in me  :)  Suffice to say, I took my
first PE class the following semester (and I thought I had escaped 
PE once I was outta HS.  oh well).

>Scene 3:

> 1)  The religious interested AAF will appear very concerned
>  about your spiritual life.  She'll invite you to the youth
>   group meetings at her church.

This was one _weird_ deal.  Being the secular dude that I am, I
admit that I was only there b/c of the free sushi.  :P  I ate so
much I _could not_ run away.  Met alot of cool people, though.

>Scene 4:
>
>  1)  The gluttonous interested AAF will frequently talk about
>    restaurants in front of you.  "I just love Mexican food,
>      my friends went to the Green Onion and had fajitas.  They
>	said it was muy excellente."

Ha ha!  If only this scenario happened more often, eh?  But heck,
how can you be sure that this is a "hint?"  I think I hear this from
everbody I know!  >burp<  'Scuse me!  8)

>Scene 5:  ...Don't forget that half of the fun is sneaking out
>  from the parents...

Ahhh, the good ol days!  However, I'm afraid this only works when you're
still in school.  Or, I guess, if you have REALLY, REALLY protective
parents  (oops, I guess that covers 99% of the folks out there!)  I love
hearing about my friend Darren's on-going battle with his girlfriend's
protective mother  ("The Mom", he calls her).  Its fun how the two of them
have to plan their moments together beneath the ever watchful auspices of
The Mom.  :)

>Scene 6:
>
>  1)  The new-age AAF will introduce herself and her spiritual
>    channel, saying "Shirley thinks that your aura is resonating
>      with mine." 

Wow.  This is a new one fer me.  I'm already running!  ;)

>Scene 7:
>
>  1)  The unbalanced AAF will pronounce that her therapist has
>    decided that she get out more.  Therefore as part of her
>      therapy, you, designated harmless nice AA boy, will help
> 	her to the road of recovery littered with the relics of
>	ye-many white men.
>   2)  Run away screaming for the hills.

I hear Saskatchuan (sp?) is a haven for those on the lam from such
women.  Maybe that's why my bud in Regina is always asking me to visit?  :)

>Scene 8:
>
> 1)  The assertive,professional and over-30 AAF who has read all
>  the books on "how to get a man", will professionally and crisply
>   announce, "You know, I find you quite interesting, why don't
>    we get together for dinner some time?

The perfect woman.  >sigh<  :)

Oh, and if I may, I'd like to add a coupla scenes:

Scene 9:  The incredibly intelligent and thoughtful AAF comes asking
	  the incredibly lost AAM (who's on AP no less  -oh, AP =
	  Academic Probation) how _he_ would attack the homework prob.
	  Of course, I'm thinking about a "friend" of mine  ;)

Scene 10:  The AAM goes to the library or cafe or quad to which the AAF
	   has chosen, under the assumption that she wants to talk about
	   school, or something related to a club activity, etc.  Lo and
	   behold, she is not alone.  Her best friend is there, or her
	   roomie.  And as Clare said, the giggling starts.


Ya know, I noticed this "3rd Wheel" syndrome ALOT when it came to AA 
"dating."  It wasn't just an AAF thing either.  My roomate during my
sophmore year (AAM) literally dragged his best friend with him when he
went out for his rendezvous.  I thought this was cute  :)  I later was
told by a girlfriend (she was raised in Taiwan as a kid) that the 3rd
person was known as the "light-bulb" (a direct translation from the
Mandarin:  dun (1st tone?) pao (4th tone).  Does this ring any bells?

Laly writes:
>>clare, if it's any consolation, will you go out with
>>me on an electronic date?

to which Clare replies:
> Okay, where can we go?  Is there an electronic Mexican
>  restaurant on the net?  (I'm dying to go to the Green
>    Onion in San Pedro again, hint, hint.)


Hey Laly, I wanna go too!  Can I be your light-bulb??  Heck, I won't
get in the way --if I sense the net shaking with excitement, I'll
retire to my corner and chew nachos!

Thanks alot, you guys!  I'm really enjoying this thread!  You've
given me alot of reason to keep reading this group!

-rich  d:)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american