From: sram@seas.gwu.edu (Siddharth R. Ram)
Subject: Re: SEX
Organization: George Washington University
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 20:04:15 GMT

In article <misdeva-201192004534@morse-college-kstar-node.net.yale.edu misdeva@yalevm.ycc.yale.edu (Devjani Mishra) writes:
> 1.	Is sex before marraige right/wrong?
> 	If it is wrong, Why?

IMHO, there is nothing wrong in sex before marriage provided that they are consenting adults.


> 3.	Why would you have /not have sex before marraige?

Sure. I tend to view marriage as an vestigal institution. It conjures
up images of the caveman dragging in a woman, beating on his chest and
shouting " this me woman. you no touch". If two people care for each
other, i think that just living together is a much better option than
getting a license from the state allowing you to sleep together,aka marriage
(but it does make for a better tax statement ;->)
 
> 4.	What is Sex?  Is sex the phyical act of fucking or the
> 	act of making love?  Is one right before marraige and
> 	the other not?

-Semantics.  One person's image of "making love" all night is another
-person's "fuck".  To the extent that it is logistically impossible to
-expose oneself to every conceivable definition on this, I would suggest
-that each of us reaches his/her own definition of each of these ideas based
-on both dreams and experiences..  In my mind, it is possible both for
-strangers to make love, and for lovers to fuck.  There's a difference in my
-mind, but that's only IMO, not yours.  (Although you may agree).

beg to disagree. for one, making love is something that two people who
know each other engage in. screwing for the sake of a "wham bam thank you --"
is fucking. 

-Moreover, I am loath to tie sex to marriage because there are many couples
-in our society who make lifelong (which is longer than many marriages)
-commitments of friendship and love to each other and _cannot_ get married -
-namely, homosexuals.  I have seen life partners (or even just steady
-"boyfriends" and "girlfriends") with mutual respect and commitment to one
-another that is truly awe-inspiring;  if all marriages could as respectful
-and dedicated as these partnerships, this society would be a far more
-humanistic place.  

couldnt agree more with you. 

> 5.	Is there dishonor in sex before marraige?  Why?

absolutely not. as i mentioned before, i do not hold too high an opinion of
the concept of marriage.

> 6.	Do you care if the person you marry is /is not a virgin?

couldnt care less. a persons past is his/her own business. but for 
a relation to last, honesty and forthrightness are essential 


> 7.	Would you marry a "slut"?  Why? Why Not?  What is a slut?
> 	Someone who has slept with someone else before maraige or
> 	someone who sleeps with many people or someone who fucks
> 	many people?
> 

Again, a persons past is not relevant to the extent that it does
not intrude on the future or present. It is however essential that
the two see eye to eye on questions of mutual etiquette.

> I have a stance, but am questioning it.  Of course, there are a lot
> of gray areas.  Please realize, having grown up with conservative
> parents, I was of course raised with the ideal that SEX (Love Making
> as well as fucking) were meant for after marraige.  As I grew older,
> I developed my own opinions as to what was right and wrong.

I have been extremely fortunate in having two incredible people
as parents. Rather than press thier beliefs on me, they have
let me establsh my own beliefs. My parents are deeply religious;
I am a diehard athiest. They have accepted this, and respect
my decision, as much as i respect thier devotion to god. My
parents have had frank discussions with me about apposite sexual
behaviour, and are of the opinoin that it is best left till 
after marriage. I think marriage is a sham.
All IMHO, i emphasize. 

                           
Siddharth Ram
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