From: learnd@lafcol.lafayette.edu (Dave Learn)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: Captain Kirk in the Snack Bar
Keywords: short
Date: 17 Aug 92 17:22:56 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Lehigh University

Most college students have had to deal horrible food on their college meal
plans.  Here at Lafayette, the situation has grown so grim the administration
recently elected to force students to eat $500 worth of the stuff a year,
whether we're on another meal plan or not.  Naturally, there has been a 
flurry of protest on the campus discussion boards, and even on one of the
campus b-boards for creative writing:



"Captain Kirk at the Snack Bar"


Kirk: I'd like some stir fry and flex pizza.                                    
                                                                                
Woman: Here you go sir.                                                         
                                                                                
[Note: this is one of those rare women whom Kirk does not fall in love          
with.  Kirk, Spock, and McCoy move to the center of the room.]                  
                                                                                
Kirk: Analysis, Mister Spock?                                                   
                                                                                
Spock: Tricorder readings indicate high levels of grease, Captain.              
                                                                                
Kirk: Recommendations?                                                          
                                                                                
Spock: I would advise not eating it.                                            
                                                                                
McCoy: Jim, you can't just leave these people here!  They're trapped in         
     a command market, and they have to buy this food.  The Flex is             
     destroying the local business and the student body's health.               
                                                                                
Spock: Really, Doctor.  You must control your passions.  They will be           
     your undoing.  The Prime Directive forbids our interference in the         
     development of Lafayette College.                                          
                                                                                
Kirk: The Prime Directive applies to an autonomous group of people,             
     Spock.  The administration is hindering the students' free develop-        
     ment.  It's time to pull the plug.                                         
                                                                                
[Scene Change.  Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are present in a room with Dean          
Kissiah.]                                                                       
                                                                                
Kirk: Bones?                                                                    
                                                                                
McCoy: Well, Jim, he looks human enough, but my medical tricorder's             
     readings don't match up to human specs.  The body temperature is           
     too low.                                                                   
                                                                                
Kirk: Cold-blooded administrators.                                              
                                                                                
Spock: Fascinating.                                                             
                                                                                
Kissiah: You may speak.                                                         
                                                                                
Kirk: The Flex must be discontinued.  It is destroying the students'            
     freedom.                                                                   
                                                                                
Kissiah: Student freedom is irrelevant.  Every tub must stand on its            
     own bottom.                                                                
                                                                                
Kirk: Surely you must realize that the student center does not stand on         
     its own as long as student participation is mandatory.                     
                                                                                
Kissiah: The good of the college requires their participation.                  
                                                                                
Spock: The good of the college, Captain.  That is the key.                      
                                                                                
Kirk: Dean Kissiah, the Flex is undermining the good of the college.            
                                                                                
Kissiah: Profits are up.                                                        
                                                                                
Kirk: Profits are up, but spirits are down.  The students are resentful         
     of the Flex.                                                               
                                                                                
Kissiah: Resentment is irrelevant.  New students will come to replace           
     the unsatisfied students.                                                  
                                                                                
Kirk: No, Dean Kissiah, they will not.  Fewer high-quality high school          
     graduates apply each year.  The students *resent* flex-dollars,            
     Dean Kissiah, and the good of the college is undermined.                   
                                                                                
Kissiah: Informal polls have come up trumps.                                    
                                                                                
Kirk: Informal polls are not enough!  It is human nature to want to be          
     free, to eat where we want, to eat what we want, to pay for                
     quality food.  Students are outraged at the high prices at Farinon,        
     they want to eat elsewhere, and in their displeasure, they frighten        
     off quality applicants.  The good of the college is undermined,            
     Dean Kissiah, and it is because of you!                                    
                                                                                
Kissiah: (smoke comes out of his ears) N-no . . .                               
                                                                                
Kirk: Yes!  The good of the college must come before all else, Dean             
     Kissiah, and you are undermining the good of the college.  You are         
     undermining the good of the college.  The students need to be free         
     for the college to develop, and you are oppressing them.                   
                                                                                
[Kissiah explodes.]                                                             
                                                                                
Spock: Fascinating.                                                             
                                                                                
Kirk: Nothing to it.                                                            
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative