From: dblakele@acpub.duke.edu (Dean Blakeley MD)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Redefining masculinity
Keywords: masculinity and responsibilty
Date: 15 Aug 92 09:38:14 GMT
Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.


In article <1992Aug14.172347.3647@microsoft.com> you write:

>
>This thread (and all the related threads) have been an exercise in
>feminine gays trying to redefine "masculine".  The idea is to stretch the
>definition wide enough to (somehow) include them as well.

But, on the other hand, it's the stereotype of masculinity that we were
taught while growing up that has to be torn down before we can truly
accept ourselves as whole, loving, human beings.

>In the process, of course, they have to slam and tear the normal-acting, 
>masculine gays who need no such redefinition.  In order to create a new
>definition of "masculine", it is first necessary to destroy the old one,
>since the fem. gays can't live up to it.  

Agreed, since the yardstick that one measures one's own masculinity is
usually a flat out lie! (measuring ego, not cock size, but again that
is what some people use to gauge their masculinity at times)


>Perhaps is because those individuals who propagate stereotypes make it
>hard for the group as a whole to be accepted.  Of course, as soon as someone
>says something like that, a thousand screaming voices go up "I should be
>accepted for what I am, regardless of how I act".  People may believe
>that, but life doesn't work that way.  Gay pride parades featuring faggots 
>from hell wearing nothing but g-strings are pretty terrifying to the average
>person. 

That was the big mistake I made when marching in Columbus Ohio's Pride
Parade last month before I moved down here to Durham with my wife.  I
marched as a leatherman when I should have been there in my lab coat
and stethoscope.  We have to show ourselves to the world as ourselves.
Marching in drag, leather or G-strings doesn't help us out a bit.

>The ultimate question is:  what do you want to accomplish?  Do you want
>your short little hour on stage to strut like a drag queen, or do you want 
>to make progress towards gay acceptance?

Drag, in my opinion, is a means to cover up perceived deficiencies in
one's own character by portrying a fantasy.  I want to emphasize 
perceived here because with a little help there is probably a good
person down there that has been taught to act the way he does by
forces he can't understand at times.

>People have a right to act however they want; I would not support any 
>measure (private or public) to restrict this.  However, the right to act how 
>you please doesn't carry with it an guarantee that you will be respected 
>for how you act.

Total freedom includes a degree of personal responsibility to the 
world (however imperfect) around us.  Ultimate freedom is ultimate
anarchy.

Peace

Hugs for Arnold with Jacques who is sadly missing Rob


-- 
| Dean D Blakeley, MD            |  This ain't no party.  This ain't no disco |
| Ambulatory Care Service (11C)  |  This ain't no fooling around.             |
| Durham VA Medical Center       |  - David Byrne                             |
| Durham NC 27705                |  NeXTMail accepted                         |