From: aaf0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (Andrew Aaron Feigin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: POT AND THE RELATIONSHIP, LET THEM SMOKE!
Date: 9 Oct 92 15:58:29 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

Well, I put my two cents in here instead of at the end of this 6 pager...
All this about pot is nice and all, but if you all were truly people and not
engineers you would realize that no matter what, if you fall in love with
someone, you are not going to ask, "so do you wack the weeds???"

Somehow someway in time most people mature and outgrow "THE NEED FOR WEED", so
don't worry too much, if you love someone or just want to, bug them enough and
give them a chance and they will slow it or stop it.

And for the last thing, weed is not bad at all, in my opinion much BETTER THAN
ALCOHOL, but if you smoke it every day or more than ocassionally (which you
must determine) it can be very destructive.  It can be good, if used, not
abused.

---------------------------------------------
andy@lehigh.edu

"Moslem or Christian Mullah or Pope
Preacher or poet who was it wrote
Give any one species too much rope
And they'll fuck it up"
-Roger Waters  "Amused To Death"
---------------------------------------------



In article <1992Oct6.215147.14508@netcom.com>, greg@netcom.com (Greg Bullough) w
rites:
>In article <9680158@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> jws@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (John Schmidt) write
s:
>>In soc.singles, shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller) writes:
>>>
>>> My suggestion would be to try to find a way to weed out people who are
>>> addicted to something.  I don't have a concrete way to describe how to
>>> do that.  I think that you will be much happier, though, if your
>>> relationships work or fail on their own merits, and not due to some
>>> outside influence more powerful than your partner.
>>>
>>
>>Teri's advice is excellent. It's best to avoid relationships with people
>>who have addictive personalities. Unfortunately, it may take some time for
>>you to realize that the person you have fallen for is addicted to alcohol,
>>drugs, or some other self-destructive...
>
>All this is well-intentioned, but I believe that we're playing a bit fast and
>free with terms which have a number of different meanings.
>
>"Addicted to something" can mean "addicted and currently in the grips of that
>addiction" or "addicted and currently managing their addiction." Conventional
>wisdom says that a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in 20 years has
>an addiction to alcohol, none the less.
>
>"Addictive personalities" can mean nothing more than a *tendency* to form
>physical or psychological dependencies. How a person *manages* that tendency
>is far more important than anything else. Just as some people must manage
>a short temper, a negative childhood experience, or any one of a number of
>factors which influence personality.
>
>Finally, the tendency towards certain addictions seem to have a physiological
>and genetic component. And a number of addictions seem to be contain a number
>of sub-types; it isn't fair to say that all alcoholics have the same genetic
>antecedant or the same expression of their genotype in their personalities.
>Because they don't.
>
>It strikes me as particularly cynical to reject relationships with all who
>are clinically addicted, but recovering, or who have a recognizable tendency
>towards addictive behavior. To do so is to thrust us back into the old
>moral model of addiction, which current thinking says is misplaced.
>
>What is important is how a person manages their own life, with all of its
>virtues and challenges. I don't think that Teri and John mean it that way,
>but if we were to take what they're saying literally, we must reject someone
>who says "I'm an alcoholic, and I've been sober for 8 years." And if we
>do that, what kind of message are we sending about our faith in people's
>ability to grow, and about acceptance of human frailties?
>
>My contention would be that, in a case where the above statement results
>in a rejection, it is not the recovering addict who is seriously impaired
>with respect to being ready for a relationship of commitment. It is more
>likely the one doing the rejecting who is stunted, and who doesn't know
>themselves very well.
>
>Greg
>
-- 
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