From: gwu@nujoizey.tcs.com (George Wu)
Subject: Re: FOBs/Oreos/Twinkies/etc.
Organization: Teknekron Communications Systems Inc.
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 01:50:01 GMT

-
     Well, given my extremely limited exposure to AAs growing up, I
didn't hear the term ABC until college.  An ABC friend mentioned the
term to me once, but she didn't explain any of the context/baggage,
so I just nodded and filed the term for future reference.

     In my junior year at college, I had made more Asian and AA friends,
and noticed many of them belong the the Chinese Student Organization.
People said it was fun; I joined.  I found too much of the conversation
was in Chinese (Cantonese, I believe) for me to understand much, and
things just didn't gel.  I went to a couple of activities, and then lost
interest in the group.  I joined again senior year, but I don't think I
went to any of the activities.

     It really wasn't until my first job at Bell Labs in New Jersey that
I realized there was some friction between Asians and AAs.  Several of
my friends were Asian immigrants, and they invited me along on some of
there regular lunches, etc.  One of these lunches introduced me to the
slang/insult terms for white (guelo) and black (?) people.  It was
mentioned in joking terms, and I remember the shock at realizing
intelligent people could be racists.  (No, it wasn't an innocent,
off-color joke.  Some of these people actually believed the
superiority of their race and ethnicities.  [No sense guessing, Dwight,
the distribution of their ethnicities was distributed.])

    On the other hand, some of these same people and I were also in
another social clique of Caucasians.  One day, when only I joined the
Caucasians for lunch because the others went to the Asian lunch, one
of the Caucasian guys complained.  He thought the other two, and alot
of Asians in general, were being too ethnic, and would just make
adjustment to life in America harder for themselves.  (I can't say I
disagree with the latter, but I can't imagine how "too ethnic" could
be a problem.  I couldn't then; I can't now.)

     Anyways, somehow, even though it was a white guy saying it, right
then, I knew a) some AAs thought the same way, and b) some Asians
thought the same in reverse, and including about me.  Even though I
wasn't joining the Asian lunch only because I didn't understand 90%
of the conversation, I knew someone was thinking I just wanted to be
with my white friends instead.  Maybe it was just hearing them talk
and laugh about white and black people in bigoted terms.

     Timewarp to California, and my discovery of lots more Asian and
AA friends, and SCAA.  SCAA introduced me to banana, twinkie, oreo, and
"FOB."  (See, you folks ruined my blissful innocence!!!!  :-)  I've
never heard them used in conversation, maybe because, as the ultimate
banana-flavored twinkie, people assummed (possibly correctly) that
I'd get insulted.  SCAA's also got alot more discussion of this
topic that I've actually encountered in real life.

     I *have* heard the term guelo in conversation out here.  An Asian
friend of mine used it in joking/loving terms to tease her AA fiance,
now husband.  One day, very *very* recently, I heard her refer to *me*
by that term!!!!  The context had something to do with a misunderstanding
of something I don't recall.  If she'd said it aloud, looking me in the
eye with a teasing smile, I'd have known it was a joke.

     Maybe I'm being too sensitive.  She said it quietly, while looking
down at something in her hands.  I only barely caught what she said.
I got mad, and I still am.  I stalked off without explanation, and
stayed away from her for a week or two.  I don't want to lose their
friendship.

     I've been wondering what to do, and writing this post has helped
me decide.  She and her husband are my friends.  Once, I'll give her the
benefit of the doubt.  If she ever refers to me by the same term, she
had damn well better be clearly joking in a friendly fashion, or I'm
going to get really pissed off.  There are other strains in our
friendship, and this would probably be fatal to it.  That would hurt,
even the thought of it does now, as we were once pretty close.

						George


PS:  For the SCAA regular (?) whom I know from those college days, Brian,
Lisa, Ed, and Gordon (!!!!) recruited me into the CSO.  Those were good
times, indeed.

----
George J Wu, Software Engineer         | gwu@tcs.com or uunet!tcs!gwu
Teknekron Communications Systems, Inc. | (510) 649-3700
2121 Allston Way, Berkeley, CA, 94704  | Never be the first to believe . . .
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american