HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rowanf@crc.ricoh.com (Rowan Fairgrove)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Snowball
Date: 4 Jan 93 20:09:24 GMT
Reply-To: rowanf@crc.ricoh.com (Rowan Fairgrove)
Organization: RICOH California Research Center

Mary MerryTail sez:

> Jammer is ambushed by the Lady...
>"Snow Fight!! Come on! Didi-sprite? Gypsy Woman? Jason? Michael? 
>Everyone? I feel just like a good fifteen minutes hurling snow!"

Gypsy looks up at her friend's voice, but when she understands
the request she shudders. <There are a lot of things that I am
willing to try in VR that I don't in RL, but the idea of voluntarily
going out into the snow is *not* among them!>

<I'll keep the kettle on so that those who want a cuppa when
they come in, are welcome to come join me.  I'll whip up some
hot treats as well.>

Gypsy


Rowan Fairgrove

*****************************************
Current Book: Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers
Current Music:  Pomegranate
Current Movie: 'Oss 'oss, wee 'oss
Current Holiday:  Twelfth Night
Current Drink: Mumm's Extra Dry
From: kf8nh@kf8nh.wariat.org (Brandon S. Allbery)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: an idle observation
Date: 9 Jan 93 23:49:20 GMT
Organization: Brandon S. Allbery's Personal System

narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon) writes:
> You should try chocolate covered coffee beans! You can just pop those things
> like candy (for obvious reasons), but be careful... They have the kick of
> any of your stronger "alertness aids".  (vivarin, no-doz, jolt) Eat more

They're espresso-roast beans, mind you.  Which is why they have such a kick.

> Good morning! (taptaptaptap...)the sound of a caffiene addict

That's "caffiend", if you don't mind....  :-)

++Brandon

--
He's BAAAACK! Brandon S. Allbery     NOTE NEW ADDRESS!!! kf8nh@kf8nh.wariat.org
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Subject: Re: boo
Reply-To: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 17:38:21 GMT

A faint feeling of pressure on the ears signals the opening of the door to the
roof.  Starknight walks down the iron staircase, in time to hear...

In article <brumby.725843857@nella7.cc.monash.edu.au>, brumby@nella7.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara) writes:
|>   The brumby pricks his ears at kitten's giggling.
|>
|>aaron@atlantis.uucp writes:
|>>Barbara Trumpinski (trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu) wrote:
|>>: kitten collects jammer's mocha breve....and giggles.  "here you are,
|>>: good sir...no one has called me 'wench' in years...not since my friend
|>[...]
|>>"Well, kitten, we could start calling you 'wench' more often if you want.  We
|>>could even make that your official net.alias, or at least add it after conan
|>>the librarian.  How far are you willing to go with this 'wench' thing?"
|>
|>   "I dunno, a lot of people might find adjusting to the new name a bit of
|>a 'wench'. Still, if a nut like you can't torque her into it..."
|>
|>   The brumby prepares to bolt.

"I'd screw up my courage, Brumby, if I wire you.  You may get us all hooked on
hardware puns, and we'll have to bracket you into a corner.  Does anybody else
care to try to hit the nail on the head?"

(Ouch, that hurt *my* sensibilities...)
From: djsnyder@husc10.harvard.edu (David Snyder)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: The Dalek's Return
Date: 11 Jan 93 17:56:02 GMT
Organization: Harvard University Science Center

In article <1993Jan8.200003.6029@e2big.mko.dec.com> pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan) writes:
>
>"Dalek!  Welcome back!"
>
>Starknight would offer a hug, but is unsure of the Dalek's reaction...  After
>all, he doesn't want to be 'ext-arm-inated'.
Dalek instinctively opens fire, showering Starknight with peanuts.
Sorry Starknight, I hope I didn't leave a Skaro.

The Dalek
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk (Alan Ralph)
Subject: Back from Limbo
Reply-To: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Keywords: BT phone non-working limbo work work work work
Summary: Not a happy camper!
Distribution: world
X-Mailer: cppnews $Revision: 1.30 $
Organization: Chez MonTemplar, Redunser
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 16:44:55 +0000

MonTemplar pops back into existence, back in his usual nondescript form, with
an extremely annoyed look on his face. "We've been without a phone for over
48 hours. No dial tone to be heard. Needless to say, British Telecom took
ages to show up and fix the problem, which turned out to be in a cable across
the road."

He goes to the bar and orders a Beamish. "I should also add that I'll be busy
this week writing up an important project report, so I'll have to bow out of
the ongoing pun-fest for a while, I'm afraid."

"Bye for now."

--
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Alan Ralph, 98 Gammons Lane, Watford, Herts. WD2 5HY   Tel. (0923) 230097 |
| Internet: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk    CIX: aralph   CI$: 100025,1551 |
|  Alias: Kimberley MonTemplar Esq., sometime regular in alt.callahans :-)  |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Brought to you c/o Demon Internet Services - FULL access to the Internet  |
| for just UKP 10 + VAT a month. Email internet@demon.co.uk for more info.  |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| *********** My .sig , my site, my opinions. So now you know. ************ |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: jane@soave.swdc.stratus.com (Jane Beckman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: No subject
Date: 7 Jan 93 19:28:26 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc., San Jose, CA

>> Well... they did that to Fantasia, too, and from what I hear from
>> people who've seen the version with the re-recorded, re-mastered
>> soundtrack, they fouled up the timing something terrible.
>
>"Not on the copy I own." says Jason with a shake of the head. "Pegasus and
>I both have a background in professional audio and video production, and we
>found no fault at all in the remastered Fantasia. We bought the deleuxe
>collectors edition when it came out, with the CD of the audio and a second
>tape on the making of Fantasia. It was all great! Your friends either got a
>bad tape, or were having VCR problems."

Ah, but if memory serves, the collector's edition is the
*original* soundtrack.  There are a few problems with this
one, due to the fact some racist footage got hacked out, but
they did a good job of patching the remastering.  The version
we are talking about is the one where they recorded a *new*
symphonic soundtrack.  The problem with this is that the
original version was recorded first, then the animation was
animated *to* the soundtrack, a frame at a time, so that they
could synchronize a frame to a single sound, etc.  But in
trying to match a *new* symphonic soundtrack to the animation,
I don't care if you're the best conductor in the world, only a
cyber-bot would be able to orchestrate it that finely, with
robotic orcherstra, no less.  Maybe some of us just like the
kind of perfection that was inherant in the original, rather
than just a lot of animation with musical accompaniment.

Fantasia trivia-- my mother was the dancer-model for the
sugarplum fairy!  (Add that to being the Thing's hand in the
original The Thing!)  Bela Lugosi was the model for the
Devil.

--
  Jilara   [jane@swdc.stratus.com]

"Every now and then, a big rock falls out of the sky, and everyone has 
a *very bad* day."  --from the PBS "Dinosaurs" special.
From: jane@soave.swdc.stratus.com (Jane Beckman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: 1993
Date: 6 Jan 93 21:57:02 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc., San Jose, CA

[Bi-Bulb describes himself.]

Jilara looks down at her current costume: a pair of black
suede jeans and a black T-shirt with Celtic interlace and
Tempest's "Serrated Edge of America" tour schedule on it.
"Have you noticed there are a lot of folks in here who like
wearing black?  Of course, some of us overdo it...  I have a
costume closet in tasteful shades of black, white, and
lavender (what can I say, I *like* half-mourning!) for seven
different eras, last time I checked..."
--
  Jilara   [jane@swdc.stratus.com]

"Every now and then, a big rock falls out of the sky, and everyone has 
a *very bad* day."  --from the PBS "Dinosaurs" special.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: Re: New Year Pizza Party
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 03:48:02 GMT

The endless string of fish-puns gives Alfvaen an idea.  He dials up Radio Free
Colorado.  "Yes, could you please play 'I Lobster But Never Flounder' by
Pinkard & Bowden?  Thanks."  He hangs up, and a simple country-type melody
starts up.

   I was a cook and she was a waitress
   Down at Salty Sam's Seafood Cafe
   And somewhere 'tween the clam juice and the
   Seaweed salad
   Some little shrimp just lured here away

   [Chorus]
   Oh I lobster, but never flounder
   He wrapped his line around her
   And they drove off in his carp
   Oh I lobster, but never flounder
   I octopus his face in
   He'll only break her heart

   [Guitar before the next verse does a little "Popeye" theme allusion]

   I said, "Just squid and leave me
   With that piano tuna
   If you want to trout somethin' new."
   She was the bass I ever had
   Now my life has no porpoise
   Oh my cod, I love her, yes I do.

   [Repeat chorus]

   [Spoken over guitar]
   R: I swordfish she'd come back to me, Sandy.  I'd sure have a whale of a
      time.
   S: Now Richard, you know she'd just pull that old "Not tonight--I've got a
      haddock!" routine.
   R: You're prob'ly right.  Still, I've kelp her picture in my walleye, just
      for the halibut.  I wonder if she's still got mine in her perch?
   S: Did you--did you say "perch"?
   R: Yeah--I'm afraid so.
   S: Well, that's good.  For a moment I thought I was losing my herring.
   R: Well, we bass squid all this seahorsin' around before those people out
      there go into a state of shark.
   S: Yeah?  If we get out of this alive, it's gonna be a--mackerel.
   R: Frankly, scallop, I don't give a clam.

The chorus of boos on the recording is matched only by that of the Callahaners.

-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I'm gonna follow my feelings...I'm gonna follow my senses...I'm gonna follow   my compass!"  --Lone Justice
Current Album--Cock Robin:First Love/Last Rites
Current Read--Antony Swithin:The Lords of The Stoney Mountains
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: purple
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 1993 05:28:01 GMT


>>jammer:
>>>: 
>>>So fetch me a mocha, wench.

kitten:

>>"hey, this new leather skirt came with a whip and studded
>>collar...which would look REAL good on a certain jammer i know..."
>>
>>}:)
>>
>The Didi-Sprite is eavesdropping upon this sparkling repartee from 
>a nearby vantage point (possibly The Doctor's shoulder), and finally 
>has to jump in:  "Uh ... Kitten, I can't quite picture our Jammer in a
>leather skirt ... the collar, however ... hmmmm!  What a decadently
>good idea!   };->

>"Hey!  Where is our purple-grape-juice guzzler, Slash?  I know he
>would really go for your new ... umm ... hair style!  You see?  There
>is always something positive about every situation!"


kitten:

"whine.....i knew that was gonna come out wrong...and /* likes my
hair...hey didi, maybe you should do something fun to yours..."

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"love is the wild card of existance"
                          rita mae brown

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Hullo...
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 14:51:00 GMT

Kitten writes:
>
>>DJ:
>
>>     "Hmm. Thats probably what I remember. I guess I'm making inferences.
>>   Lazarus was rather down and out at the time... <shrug> I did get the
>>   impression that he { RAH } didn't like the story. Afterall, when Lazarus
>>   got the chance, he did go back and get Mike, and several others from
>>   that location have made it to Tertius... " DJ. And yes, I would liked
>>   for Manny and Wyoming Knott to have found peace. They might have, but
>>   its been years since I read the story. I do have a copy.
>
>
>"the thing was...he didn't really finish _i will fear no evil_, as he
>was busy not dying at the time (peritonitis, etc.)  virginia did the
>final edit."  kitten is in the minority of folks who like IWFNE.
>--

    "Yup. I knew about him in serious mediacal trouble, but then what
  with his triple bypass, and everything else, I was very surprised
  he ever fininshed any of his later works. I have to get off-line
  as my whale.st.usm.edu account is going down for repairs... Later,
  hugs to you all ! I am available on jmpierce@seabass.st.usm.edu
  today as I have time to answer email... " DJ.

    Ooops. Its the machine, not my account... I didn't break anything !
   It wasn't me ! i wasn't there... :-)

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
          'Rush Limbaugh is the 'Chia Pet' of TV talk shows !'
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: esti@quads.uchicago.edu (Paul A. Estin)
Subject: Re: atmospheric science and butterflies
Reply-To: esti@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: U. Michigan Cognitive Psychology
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 23:53:05 GMT

In article <C0q3sy.8w1@agora.rain.com> feath@agora.rain.com (Feather) writes:

>"Ah!  I see.  Hey, folks it's a message from my RL self, The Rainbow Crow.
>She's in the middle of some sort of writing project, and she needs a bit
>of help from anyone who knows something about atmospheric science.
>
>Apparently, R-Crow has run accross a concept known as The Butterfly Effect,
>which describes an interesting phenonemon:  something as seemingly 
>inconsequential as a butterfly flapping it's wings in one part of the world
>can lead to an atmospheric chain of events resulting in a huge storm in
>another part of the world three years later.  
>
>Hmmmm.  This is fascinating.  Anyway, R-Crow is wondering if anyone here
>could recommend some good, introductory articles on the Butterfly Effect for 
>her.   Something anyone could understand, yet packed with information."

Snark recommends the book _Chaos_, by James Gleick, as an excellent
introduction to the butterfly effect and other elements of chaos
theory, with references to not only atmospheric science but lots of
other fields as well.

"The general gist of it is that, prior to chaos theory, people
believed it was possible to get predictive power to arbitrarily close
approximation.  That is, if you knew the 'rules' of operation of some
system (for example, if you knew the differential equations describing
weather patterns), then as you got better data you would get
correspondingly better predictions.  Turns out, that's not the case.
Seemingly inconsequential details can turn out to have enormous
effects.  So, the amount of additional information needed to increase
the predictive power of weather forecasts by merely a day is *huge*,
and it's conceivably possible that, indeed, the flap of a butterfly's
wing could cause a hurricane to eventually occur that would not have
occurred otherwise."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    _/_/_/  _/    _/    _/    _/_/    _/  _/ Paul Andrew Estin  313-994-3869
   _/      _/_/  _/  _/  _/  _/  _/  _/_/   U. Michigan Cognitive Psychology
  _/_/_/  _/  _/_/  _/_/_/  _/_/    _/     estin@csmil.umich.edu
     _/  _/    _/  _/  _/  _/  _/  _/_/   esti@midway.uchicago.edu
_/_/_/  _/    _/  _/  _/  _/  _/  _/  _/ HoloMuck 128.135.120.46 5757
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: To New Life!
Date: 9 Jan 1993 06:11:18 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au


Another junior Callahaner!  Neat!  Congratulations Darkshot, and to your
better half, well done and best wishes for a speedy recovery.  Tadeusz ...
welcome to this world - may your stay here be all that it should be, and
full of laughter.  Happiness always.

Splash!

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Re: an idle observation
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 23:55:38 GMT

> [Merlinvin:]  [many bridge puns deleted]
>"Some of these puns are pretty esoteric to non-bridge players; they
>certainly aren't the paronomasia conventional here in the Place.
>I don't want them going over-call-ahanian's heads."

Danger Mouse steps forward. "Now now, that's being a bit ruff, isn't it?
I'm sure that a lot of patrons have the finesse necessary to spot a good
pun. I say we should double our efforts in an attempt to take-out the
honours accorded to good punsters. I want to a-void singleton anyone
out - after all, are we not partners in crime, leading by example,
Merlinvin?"

- Danger Mouse.
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jason & Thyra)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: 1993
Date: 4 Jan 93 06:13:56 GMT
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Organization: the Polyhedron Group
NNTP-Posting-Host: aaa.uoregon.edu

In article <1993Jan4.042347.26813@ucc.su.OZ.AU>, mar@physics.su.OZ.AU
(David Mar) wrote:
> DS sips some tea between slices of his everything pizza. "It's good to see
> the pizza party going so well. Maybe we can keep it going until Nicarra
> returns!"
> 
> - Danger Mouse... um... Squid.

Thyra and Jason swim up to Danger Squid. Thyra, her twin-tailed Mer-cat
form being much faster than Jason in his divers skinsuit, got there first.
She gives DM, er DS, a -very- warm and intimate hug. "Great party Danger
Squid! I'll have a Carnivore Special for my Pizza! That's -all- the
red-meat toppings, with extra tomato sauce, and extra cheese to hold it all
together." 

Jason catches up to her and looks at all the Pizza. He activates a throat
mike in his suit, and asks her "Thyra, this costume you gave me is great
for being underwater in, but how am I supposed to enjoy a pizza with a
full-face divers mask on?" 

She giggles, and points to a corner near the VPM. A large, glassed-in booth
has been set up there, with an air-lock and a delivery chute for Pizzas.
"Mike thought of everything, as usual! Just go thru the airlock there, and
you can take off your mask and regulator and munch out. But come back when
you've had some. You still owe me a dance!" She turns to Danger Squid and
takes two tentacles in each paw. "May I have this dance?" she says with a
merry grin, as she swims with him to the dance floor.

Hugs and purrs,
Thyra and Jason
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Last one into the pool ...
Date: 12 Jan 93 00:23:20 GMT
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi


 (Splash!) writes:
> (Noah Ramon) writes:
>>Thyra says :
>>>She takes his hand "Ok my drifty friend, drift over to the dance floor with
>>>me!" She leads him into a swing number, but takes advantage of the watery
>>>environment to do several moves that are impossible on land. "Wheee!" she
>>>says as she sails over his head, behind his back, and back up to the front
>>>between his legs, all the while staying in touch with at least one hand. 
>
>>There is NO move that is impossible on land. Remember : flying is possible.
>>It's just a matter of attitude, not altitude!
>
>I'm sure Linda would have something to add to that ... how about a dance,
>Linda?

  "Well, he wasn't 'God's Own Drunk' ! That's a Jimmy Buffet song ! Or was
 the song I wanted 'Changes in Attitudes, Changes in Latitudes' ? Boss, have
 you been messing with the song database again !? Anyway, Of course, I'll
 dance ! Would you like a little Hustle, dance fever, Xanadu with roller
 skates, The Peppermint Twist, or a Lufberry Special!" Linda. 

    "Oh Splash, the Lufberry Special is a 'flying' song. Are you a 
flying fish, or are you just water down the floor drain ??" Robbie.

    "I thought you two were in the conga line ? Oh yes, Linda was
  changed into her 'Bugs, a Bunny' look and was last seen asking
  the Doctor something or other..." DJ.

      Oh how can you be three places at once, when your typing on a
  keyboard afterall ! { A take off on a Firesign Theater album title... }

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
          'Rush Limbaugh is the 'Chia Pet' of TV talk shows !'
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: To New Life!
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 03:20:45 GMT



>----<--<@

>The Didi-Sprite has been winging her way about the bar enjoying
>the conversation, the dancing, the eating, the drinking, and being
>amongst her friends once more, when Bertie flaps down from the rafters 
>with a message ... and it reads:


>Date: Thu, 7 Jan 93 00:12:17 -0500
>From: Michael B Garrett -- Chudys <darkshot@rock.concert.net>

>Didi- please send my best to all these people for me- I am too busy to
>responds as I should. When you know the reason, I think you'll understand:

>Tadeusz Michael Garrett - born 6:20pm Eastern, January 6, 1993
>Weight: 8 lbs, 6oz - Length: 21 inches

>I just got home a minute ago- my wife is staying a few days since it was
>a Caesarean delivery. 

>Do please send best wishes to those you mentioned- and tell them about it.

>Thank you, Didi. Many hugs-

>'Shot

kitten offers a quiet blessing and a lifetime supply of hugs to the
newest garrett...
--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"love is the wild card of existance"
                          rita mae brown
From: IO20746@MAINE.MAINE.EDU
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Help!
Date: 10 Jan 93 00:51:40 GMT
Organization: University of Maine System

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
From: olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Charles Olson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: an idle observation
Date: 13 Jan 93 04:31:34 GMT
Organization: Harvard Arts and Sciences Computer Services, Cambridge, MA
In-reply-to: narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu's message of 12 Jan 93 07:52:37 GMT

In article <1ittc5INNnmg@menudo.uh.edu> narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon) writes:

>Saturday came, and with it came the party. We went out, picked everyone up
>(imagine, if you will : six people in a subcompact car. Two in front and four
>in back. Don't try this one at home, kids!), [..]

"Huh. That's peanuts" sniffs Castellan.  "I was once a passenger in a VW
Jetta (what our European patrons might know as a Golf sedan) with 7 people
in it- 3 in back with a 4th lying across them, the driver and I in front
with another rather shaggy fellow sitting on my lap with his head out the 
sunroof, going "Arf! Arf! Grr-ruff!" at the other cars.  I'm surprised we
didn't cause any accidents.

"btw, that Jell-0 concoction sounds utterly revolting. Nice work."

--
-Chip Olson. | olson@husc.harvard.edu | ceo@{gnu.ai,silver.lcs}.mit.edu
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
Maybe we would if they screamed all the time for no good reason." -J. Handey