From: cmoore@AFIT.AF.MIL (Chataun R. Moore)
Newsgroups: alt.child-support
Subject: Re: Please Tell me
Date: 23 Jul 92 15:13:06 GMT
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology, WPAFB OH

In article <dw_mg+#.ekman@netcom.com> ekman@netcom.com (Crossly the Glad-Eyed Bear) writes:

>In article <13t5cjINNpsu@gw.home.vix.com> shedevil@vix.com (Anne P. Mitchell JD) writes:
>>In a recent missive ssmith@xocolatl.com (Shannon Smith) tells us:
>>*shedevil@vix.com (Anne P. Mitchell JD) writes:
>>*
>>*> Morally, I believe that if a person isn't prepared to fully support
>>*> their child, they have no business demanding custody of them.  Note
>>*> the term "prepared".  That is not to say that the NCP shouldn't
>>*> contribute 1/2, they should.  But, if you demanded custody, and your
>>*> co-parent either can't or won't contribute their 1/2, don't whine
>>*> about how hard it is...nobody *forced* you to demand custody.
>>*
>>*You didn't finish your thought.  You say "if you demanded custody...
>>*don't whine..."  Do you think it might be okay if I "whine"--or as I
>>*see it, "justifiably complain"--if I *didn't* demand custody?  If I had
>>*full custody thrust upon me with all kinds of well-wishes but nothing I
>>*could buy food and shelter with?  Believe you me, if I could sue for
>>*joint custody, and INSIST that he take custody of the kids half of
>>*the time, and have some kind of enforcement available should he
>>*decide to renege--again--on that obligation, I would.
>>
>>
>>Nope...I *did* finish my thought, as that was all I was thinking about
>>at the time.  :-)
>>
>>However, that said, that is *exactly* WHY I said "if you insisted.."
>>[not you, Shannon...you the 'generic you'].
>>
>>Parents who end up with sole custody by default, through no
>>choice/fault of their own, are entitled to whine and complain all they
>>want. :-) Seriously, if you ended up having to provide the sole
>>support for your kids, and you didnt ASK to be the sole custodian of
>>your kids, I think you have every reason in the world to be really
>>steamed, and not just at your ex though...at the entire stinking
>>system that presumed to put you into such a disadvantaged position by
>>virtue of your female plumbing. 

>For the record, I do not have female plumbing.

>When I married my ex-wife, I adopted her two children from a former
>marriage.  As the result of a "misunderstanding" regarding the use of
>birth control pills, we had a third child.  [Hold the flames.  I love my
>younger daughter dearly.  It just wasn't my idea at the time.]

>When that third child was three years old my wife decided that she'd had
>enough of being a mother and a wife, and filed for dissolution of our
>marriage.  Part of her petition included a request that I be awarded
>custody of all three children, which the court granted.  No child
>support was ordered.  In fact, I was discouraged from asking for any.  I
>had enough income to provide for the necessities, but few luxuries.
>Should I have complained?  Would it have done any good?  Does a CP
>father ever get child support?

>My children are now grown, and my younger daughter is enrolled in a
>private university, for which I am footing the entire bill.  Should I
>complain?  Would it do any good?

>I'm a little weary of hearing of deadbeat dads and put-upon mothers.
>There are a some of us fathers who have more than met our
>responsibilities, althought you'd not be likely to know about it from
>reading this group or the popular press.
>-- 
>Crossly the Glad-Eyed Bear              ekman@netcom.com
>Home for the Terminally Infirm, Redwood City, California
>Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor.


I sympathize with your situation.  You are one of the few.  I admire you.  I 
don't think that a mother should be able to just pick up and leave like 
that.  What kind of position does that put the kids in.  Is she still coming 
around or is she just putting the bills on you.  If she is she's a sorry 
mother.  If you have kids you have to deal with it.  You don't get tired all 
of a sudden.  You keep doing what you're doing, you'll get blessed for it.
Newsgroups: alt.child-support