From: merylf@brtph115.bnr.ca (Meryl W. Freeman)
Subject: Re: women, training, && violence
Organization: Bell Northern Research Inc.
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 00:07:11 GMT

In article <3342@unisql.UUCP> wrat@unisql.UUCP (wharfie) writes:

>	I've often wondered why you don't see more female martial
>artists, especially given that one of the main concerns I've heard
>women voice is fear of assault.  I've often wondered why when you do get 
>them into a dojo (martial arts training place) they seem to leave at a 
>higher rate than students of that other sex...

Dearest Wharfie,

In a word, AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! :-)

For those of you in soc.men who are unenlightened, we just got through with
a very lengthy discussion here in rec.m-a on sexism in the dojo, the poor
treatment of women in the martial arts, and how that affects women staying
in the arts. Are we ready for round 2??

But really, the Wharfster asks some interesting questions...

>	Let's take my own dear Sugar Magnolia as an example:  Anita is a big
>strong girl, and could be an effective fighter with some training, yet she
>won't even come to a tournament that I'll be fighting in (not that I compete
>anymore...) because she gets really upset when I get choked out or whatever.

What's wrong with her getting upset at seeing her loved one hurt? I can
understand that one. Heck, my Dad had trouble watching a video tape of my
black belt test and I was the one doing all the throwing! He cringed every
time one of the attackers hit the mat.

>I tried to get her to come to aikido with me, but she stopped coming after
>a few classes because it was too violent (!!!).  (Aikido looks more like
>dancing than boxing)  Yet we've been in situations where I had to fight for
>both of us (we've been jumped in New York City) or where I could have used
>someone at my back...  

Maybe her viewpoint is just totally different from yours. Maybe she finds
violence, or her perception of violence, extremely distasteful and would 
rather learn to avoid it.  

>	So, my questions are "What can be done to help people, and female
>people in particular, get over this mental block of hypertrophied pacifism
>so that they can benefit from learning to deal with violence, and is my

There are other ways to deal with violence besides taking a 
martial art for a long time. If your concern is purely self defense (is this
your SO's concern too, or just yours???), maybe a woman would be more 
comfortable taking a short course in self-defense (like Model 
Mugging, for example). Some of these courses can be extremely empowering 
to women who for whatever reason are conditioned to "not want to hurt anyone."

>perception that women are more subject to this...confining...point of
>view accurate or colored by my personal experience, and does anyone agree 
>that the first step to taking back the night might be to stop having to be
>afraid of every half-assed punk with a gleam in his eye" ?

I think women in our society are conditioned to feel powerless in many
situations, and not just ones that are physically threatening. I don't feel
that learning how to fight physically is the answer for a lot of women. I do
feel that learning how to behave more assertively (not aggressively or
passively) would help a lot of women to feel better about themselves. For some
women, that empowerment comes through the martial arts. For others, it can
be through therapy, sports, lifting weights...whatever it takes to develop
confidence and increased awareness of themselves and the world around them. 

>	No to mention the fact that if _she_ trained too I might get to more
>than twice a week myself... :-)  ("You're going to the gym again?  But..." :-)

AHA!!!! The truth comes out... :-)

Regards,

Meryl Freeman
_______________________________
Sorry, no e-mail. Please post.
>	Caveat to followups:  esoteric technical discussions probably don't
>belong in .men, and "Can't live with 'em..." philosophicalities probably
>don't belong in .martial-arts.
>							the wharf rat


Newsgroups: rec.martial-arts