HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC] contest!!
Keywords: Contest, rules, BIG SUPRISE
Organization: Two rooms filled with typography, in downtown Boston
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 05:33:41 GMT

[alt.religion.kibology]
In article <C1AA2F.1EG@sleeper.apana.org.au> raz@sleeper.apana.org.au (Roland Turner) writes:
>Mae West (I think - corrections gratefully received) "Is that a Big Suprise  
>[SIC] in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

That reminds me--a good greeting to give to a Scientologist who
approaches you on the street with a Free Personality Test is, "Is that
half a roll of Tums in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

Of course, I flunked.  See, the test *IS* suprisingly[sic] accurate!

							-- K.
From: wakeman@crchh7ce.bnr.ca (John Wakeman)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Re: alt.religion.scientology Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Date: 26 Jan 93 19:39:41 GMT
Reply-To: wakeman@crchh7ce.bnr.ca (John Wakeman)
Organization: BNR, Inc.

Hi Roland,

I suppose you could hold a gun to someones head and get them to
say whatever, but I doubt there needle would float.

OK, Floating Needle - Using the Hubbard E-Meter(appropriate TM), the
phenomena where the person is Very Good Indicators and the needle on 
the meter gently swings from left to right.

Very Good Indicators - The person appears to be feeling good and is 
smiling or maybe going WOW.

Also, further up you mention that it might be best for the indivduals
survival to not devote every last penny to Scientology.  Well "everybody"
knows that Scientology makes you more able and thus the money is
insignificant, because you will be better able to make more anyway.

To any purists, I apologise for my defns. in laymens terms.

john
============================================================================
This message brought to you by a completely uninformed individual.
His ramblings have nothing whatsoever to do with the company he
works for.  

wakeman@bnr.ca
============================================================================
From: schaf@socrates.ucsf.edu (Chris Schafmeister)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC] contest!!
Date: 22 Jan 93 16:59:30 GMT
Organization: UCSF Computer Graphics Lab

Elmer Fudd:  
'Youw in fow a big supwize[sic][sic], you wascawy anti-swientowlowgwists!'

.Chris.

-- 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Christian E.A.F. Schafmeister               Biophysics graduate student
University of California, San Francisco      UUCP: ucbvax!ucsfcgl!schaf
"Biophysics . . . THE future."             INTERNET: schaf@cgl.ucsf.edu
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: gisle@ifi.uio.no (Gisle Hannemyr)
Subject: Re: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC] contest!!
Organization: gisle@ifi.uio.no
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 11:08:01 GMT
Originator: gisle@gyda.ifi.uio.no


Ok, my entries are all by Europeans:

Gro Harlem Brundland (Norwegian PM):
   I have, by sources that is usually considered reliable, been informed
   that there is a considerable weight of evidence in favour of the idea
   that in the nearest future, an event that may or may not cause
   CONSIDERABLE ASTONISHENT [sic] in all probability will take place.

Arnold Schwartzenegger (Austrian actor):
   Oi'll be back -- with a BIG SUPRISE [sic].

Charles (Welsh prince):
   Oh, Camilla, I've got this BIG SUPRISE [sic] for you -- well, actually,
   it's not that big, it's about average in size I guess and slightly
   bent...
--
Meta-disclaimer: A society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.
 
- gisle hannemyr  (Norsk Regnesentral)
  OSI:   C=no;PRMD=uninett;O=nr;S=Hannemyr;G=Gisle (X.400 SA format)
         gisle.hannemyr@nr.no                      (RFC-822  format)
  Inet:  gisle@ifi.uio.no
  UUCP:  ...!mcsun!ifi!gisle
------------------------------------------------
From: raz@sleeper.apana.org.au (Roland Turner)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Re: alt.religion.scientology Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 01:38:02 GMT
Organization: Desolation Road Railfan BBS

pae@teal.csn.org (Phil Earnhardt) writes:

>Archive-name: scientology-faq
>Last-modified: 1993/01/18
>Version: 2.0

Re-reading this brought up some interesting trains of thought in my
unCleared mind:

>16. Is Scientology Successful?

>By its own definition, Scientology must be successful:

>>>Saying this another way, what would it mean if there *were* someone who
>>>completed a level, didn't start another level, and declared his experience
>>>with Scientology a failure? 
>>
>>Part of the completion of a grade is that the PC makes an attest (similar to
>>a sworn statement) that they have successfully reached the end-phenomenon of
>>the grade.
>>
>>In the case of a student, the attest is that they have studied and know the
>>material and can apply it successfully.
>>
>>The person makes these statements so that Scientology can be certain that the
>>standard results were achieved.  If they later claim that Scientology was a
>>failure, I would say they were a liar.  Either they lied at the attest, or
>>they lied when they said it failed.

All well and good, but even the most honest of people are likely to 
lie if appropriate for their perceived survival when under duress. 

If an individual 'gives up' on Scientology because (s)he perceives that
continuaton will cause such financial or relational strain as to 
endanger his survival on any or all of the dynamics and wishes to pull
out to avert disaster then I would suggest that this is NOT a failure 
of the individual but of Scientology.

If Scn is unable to protect survival whilst attempting to enhance it in 
EVERY case, then Scn CAN fail.

(Oh, sorry, re the attest and the person lying, the person may be so
overwhelmed by the pressure to complete and attest positive (lie) as to
go ahead and do so, then run like hell. It makes sense to me.)

>19. What is the essence of Scientology's workability?

>The following is reproduced, without comment, from one Scientologist's
>posting:

>>I say do a survey of people who have completed any Scientology course or
>>auditing action and find out if they have subjectively achieved the
>>end phenomena.  I predict that you will be able to determine objecctively
>>that 100% of the people will have a subjective reality that they have
>>achieved a gain of some type.  This is the essence of Scientology's
>>workability as I now see it.

At a guess, a competent practitioner of hypnotism or any of a number of 
'brainwashing' techniques could achieve the same result without having
given the students/attendees anything of value. Similarly someone who 
held a gun to the head of each of his students/attendees could almost
guarantee 100% positive attestation.

Comments Scientologists?


-- 
Bye for now.
        - Raz.

raz@sleeper.apana.org.au   (Roland Turner)   (OH) 61 2 319 5700
From: roy%cybrspc@cs.umn.edu (roy)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC] contest!!
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 93 18:32:25 CST
Organization: The Villa CyberSpace, Minneapolis, MN
X-Newsreader: rusnews v0.98
X-Kibo: retired

kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:

> That reminds me--a good greeting to give to a Scientologist who
> approaches you on the street with a Free Personality Test is, "Is that
> half a roll of Tums in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

A better greeting is, "No, thanks, I have one."

> Of course, I flunked.  See, the test *IS* suprisingly[sic] accurate!

Did they test for presence or quantification?  Did you flunk both parts?
--
Roy M. Silvernail --  roy%cybrspc@cs.umn.edu - OR-  cybrspc!roy@cs.umn.edu
                   "I'm a family man, model citizen."
                                      -- Warren Zevon
From: pae@teal.csn.org (Phil Earnhardt)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Re: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC] contest!!
Date: 21 Jan 93 18:54:27 GMT
Organization: Colorado SuperNet, Inc.

In article <STIGH.93Jan21160054@harry.itk.unit.no> stigh@itk.unit.no (Stig Atle Haugdahl) writes:
>I am not sure if a such contest will raise the level of seriousness of the
>discussion. It may just scare away those people who are interested in the CoS
>and therefore maybe should be reading this group.

Perhaps. On the other hand, the Scientologists in this group are expressing
their own kind of humor (albeit in a very, very serious fashion). John
Holifield announced a contest, with prizes, in December but failed to ever
announce the winners. David Bonnell has repeatedly told us that a surprise
(sometimes big, sometimes not, sometimes on a particular date) was going to
happen, but never reports on whether or not the surprise ever happened....

With this in mind, I'll put my own entry into the fray:


	Not only is a vary, vary big suprise going to happen, their
	hapening all the time. And if your not convinced their
	hapening, it's you're on problem. The only way a parson will
	ever think anything is raelly true is if its true for them.

--phil
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879)
Subject: Elron's Practical Joke
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 15:58:16 GMT

According to the FAQ for alt.folklore.urban:

Elron Hubbard started dianetics based on a bet.  Robert Heinlein bet
him that he couldn't start a religion.

Does anyone have any back up for this?  I'll post something in
alt.folklore.urban and ask them as well...  This fact is spoosedly one
that has been checked out and verified as true.

                    Nik

Fred Flintstone:

          Barney, now that I've joined Dianetics, let me tell you
something...  You're in for a BIG suprise.  YABADABDOO!


Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: rogue@ccs.northeastern.edu (Free Radical)
Subject: My entries
Organization: College of CS, Northeastern U
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 20:07:40 GMT

1)  "Rou're in for a rig Ruprise! [sic]" - Scooby Doo

2)  'The 12 Days of Elron', an original song in one verse

On the twelfth Day of Elron my auditor gave to me:
Twelve walls of fire
Eleven Pre-clears clearing
Ten OT's exteriorizing
Nine SP's enturbulating
Eight Royal Scotsmen 
Seven volcanoes exploding
Six Loyal Officers
Five E-Meters
Four Zemus 
Three thetans
Two engrams
And a bi-i-i-i-ig suprise! [sic]

Both pretty weak, but the month's not over yet!

	RA

rogue@damon.ccs.northeastern.edu (Rogue Agent)
----------------------------------------------
The NSA is now funding research not only in cryptography, but in all areas
of advanced mathematics. If you'd like a circular describing these new
research opportunities, just pick up your phone, call your mother, and
ask for one.
From: mkkuhner@phylo.genetics.washington.edu (Mary K. Kuhner)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Re: alt.religion.scientology Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Date: 27 Jan 93 01:33:28 GMT
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
NNTP-Posting-Host: phylo.genetics.washington.edu

wakeman@crchh7ce.bnr.ca (John Wakeman) writes:

>I suppose you could hold a gun to someones head and get them to
>say whatever, but I doubt there needle would float.

>wakeman@bnr.ca

Meditation training gives you at least some degree of control over skin
conductivity responses, as I've verified by experiment (with a
display at a science museum).  Simple practice might well do the same
thing, and presumably Scientologists get lots of practice.

It also seems that it might be possible to have the immediate responses
(euphoria, "floating needle") but not get any of the promised long-term
benefits.  I've heard several ex-Scientologists claim this is the case.
What do you think?

Mary Kuhner mkkuhner@genetics.washington.edu
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: stigh@itk.unit.no (Stig Atle Haugdahl)
Subject: bg supix cnutset
Organization: Norwegian Institute of Technology / SINTEF, Trondheim, Norway
Date: 24 Jan 93 18:11:44




GEN 2:15 - 2:17  And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of
Eden to dress it and to keep it.
And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou 
myest freely eat:
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: 
for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely see the coming of
a big suprise.


GEN 38:8 - 38:10  And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and 
marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he 
went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that 
he should give seed to his brother.
And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he made the coming
unto him a big suprise.

--


--------------------------------
Vis tecum sit      ///|\\\
                   | o o |
Stig                \ - /
--------------------------------

Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: pae@teal.csn.org (Phil Earnhardt)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Re: scientology-faq
Date: 27 Jan 93 01:45:01 GMT
Organization: Colorado SuperNet, Inc.

In article <6756@pdxgate.UUCP> sol@rigel.cs.pdx.edu (chris s de voir) writes:
>>4. How do scientifically-oriented Scientistologists deal with these
>>   contradictions of Scientology?
>
>Did you mean scientifically-oriented Scientologists dealing with
>contradictions between Scientology and science or contradictions within
>Scientology itself?  

Between Science and Scientology. Questions 1-3 of the FAQ.

>Either way, I was a scientifically oriented Scientologist and I confronted
>contradictions in both categories.

Say more. Tell us about what you confronted in the Church.

There are several places that valuable insights can be added to the FAQ by
ex-Scientologists.

>LRH states that homosexuals are 1.1 on the tone scale by definition and this
>is covert hostility.  I am just passing this on to support these is a
>political agenda in Scn.

Can you provide a written quote from a Scn book that makes this claim? Also,
can you include a very brief description of Tone Scale so that exactly
what a 1.1 means would be clear to everyone?

Again, this would be a valuable addition to the FAQ.

--phil
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: rogue@ccs.northeastern.edu (Free Radical)
Subject: My entry
Organization: College of CS, Northeastern U
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 19:33:35 GMT

'Rou're in for a rig ruprise! [sic]' - Scooby Doo

	RA

rogue@damon.ccs.northeastern.edu (Rogue Agent)
----------------------------------------------
The NSA is now funding research not only in cryptography, but in all areas
of advanced mathematics. If you'd like a circular describing these new
research opportunities, just pick up your phone, call your mother, and
ask for one.
From: raz@sleeper.apana.org.au (Roland Turner)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Re: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC] contest!!
Keywords: Contest, rules, BIG SUPRISE
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 01:42:13 GMT
Organization: Desolation Road Railfan BBS

Mae West (I think - corrections gratefully received) "Is that a Big Suprise  
[SIC] in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"


-- 
Bye for now.
        - Raz.

raz@sleeper.apana.org.au   (Roland Turner)   (OH) 61 2 319 5700
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: keith@balrog.dseg.ti.com (Keith A. Schauer)
Subject: Re: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC] contest!!
Keywords: Contest, rules, BIG SUPRISE
Organization: Texas Instruments Information Technology Group
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 00:17:33 GMT


Gomer Pyle, USMC

	SUPRISE, SUPRISE, SUPRISE

Nathan Hale

	I only regret that I have but one suprise to give to my newsgroup.

Robin, the Boy Wonder

	Jumping Jesuits Batman,
	You mean that the big suprise on December 18th was really a hoax?
	And that ElRon is really the Penguin in disguise?


-- 
Keith Schauer		Texas Instruments	Plain O, Texas
80 CB900 Custom		
DoD #0901		In an insane society, the sane man must appear insane.
			My company disavows any knowledge of my actions.
From: crisper@cats.ucsc.edu (Crisper Than Thou)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC]
Summary: say, is this suprise [sic] better be _big_!
Keywords: big large enormous gigantic tremendous wow oh boy oh boy
Date: 22 Jan 93 04:23:52 GMT
Organization: The Armory, Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: am.ucsc.edu



From the direct-to-video porno SUPRISE [SIC] HOOTERS:
----------------------------------------------------
O baby you know it ahhh yeah put it there, whip out your suprise and put
 it in ahhhh yeah baby oh OH OHHHHH it's so BIG!

Rocky Horror Suprise Show (with audience participation):
-------------------------------------------------------
Frankenfurter:  Well, Dr. Scott, I'm afraid you're in for a rather...
Audience:       BIG?
Frankenfurter:  ...big...
Audience:	SUPRISE?
Frankenfurter:	...suprise.
[Janet faints]

From the original screenplay draft of Clarke's 2010:
---------------------------------------------------
HAL: You must leave your present orbit very soon, Doctor Floyd.
HEYWOOD FLOYD: Why, HAL? What's going to happen?
HAL: A suprise. A very... big... suprise.

J.R.R. Tolkien:
--------------
Once there was a suprise. Not a lame practical joke suprise, or a mean
 and spiteful suprise. It was a big suprise, and that meant comfort.

Johnny Rotten: Suprise in the U.K.

George Bush: Thousand points of suprise

New contest from cigarette manufacturer: win a year of Bic supplies

Star Trek:
---------
SPOCK: 	The Klingon ship is moving into attack position, Captain.
UHURA:	They're hailing us, Captain. They demand our unconditional surrender.
KIRK:	Scotty!
SCOTTY: <intercom> Aye, Cap'n.
KIRK:	Is the reflection barrier set?
SCOTTY: <intercom> That she is, sir. First thing they fire at us comes
	right back at 'em.
KIRK:	Mr Sulu, lock photon torpedoes.
SULU:	Aye aye, Captain.
KIRK:	Let's give them a big suprise...

	--The Elder Dan
	Tried and I tried but I couldn't come up with one for The Bible
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: wakeman@crchh7ce.bnr.ca (John Wakeman)
Subject: Re: alt.religion.scientology Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 21:01:48 GMT
Reply-To: wakeman@crchh7ce.bnr.ca (John Wakeman)
Organization: BNR, Inc.

I don't know about skin conductivity and how it may or may not
affect the matter.   I have never been impressed that one 
would try to "beat" the meter.  What would be the point?   You
were either pleased AT THE TIME or you weren't.   As to your
question more directly, yes I would say it is most probable that
many of the "gains and wins" are temporal.   Of course you might have
to leave the scene awhile to ever notice that the euphoria isn't
constant.

john
============================================================================
This message brought to you by a completely uninformed individual.
His ramblings have nothing whatsoever to do with the company he
works for.  

wakeman@bnr.ca
============================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879)
Subject: Questions and Answers
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 18:51:07 GMT

How about instead of telling us "HEY, there is a book you can go and
read", a scientologist could give us a summary?  I suppose the
argument against this (from a scientologist's point of view) is "Hey,
can't be bothered to read the book? Then you don't care enough to
know!" or some such twisted logic.

(It's a discussion group that doesn't discuss!  Good lord, we're
going to implode!)

Could the scientologist who posted those real helpful "Turn to page
whatever" things give us more info?  (Or will an anti-scientologue get
a book and scan it or give us chunks of it in here?)

                                                  Nik
From: rogue@ccs.northeastern.edu (Free Radical)
Subject: My entries
Organization: College of CS, Northeastern U
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 21:17:43 GMT

1)  "Rou're in for a rig Ruprise! [sic]" - Scooby Doo

2)  'The 12 Days of Elron', an original song in one verse

On the twelfth Day of Elron my auditor gave to me:
Twelve walls of fire
Eleven Pre-clears clearing
Ten OT's exteriorizing
Nine SP's enturbulating
Eight Royal Scotsmen 
Seven volcanoes exploding
Six Loyal Officers
Five E-Meters
Four Zemus 
Three thetans
Two engrams
And a bi-i-i-i-ig suprise! [sic]

Both pretty weak, but the month's not over yet!

	RA

rogue@damon.ccs.northeastern.edu (Rogue Agent)
----------------------------------------------
The NSA is now funding research not only in cryptography, but in all areas
of advanced mathematics. If you'd like a circular describing these new
research opportunities, just pick up your phone, call your mother, and
ask for one.
From: stigh@itk.unit.no (Stig Atle Haugdahl)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Re: The BIG SUPRISE [SIC] contest!!
Date: 21 Jan 93 15:00:54 GMT
Organization: Norwegian Institute of Technology / SINTEF, Trondheim, Norway

I am not sure if a such contest will raise the level of seriousness
of the discussion. It may just scare away those people who are 
interested in the CoS and therefore maybe should be reading this group.

However, I got fascinated by the idea, so my humble contribution
will be a poem, written in a Gothic style (it's a sonnet).
And a short apology to Scientologists:
I despise every religion but the true one (Kibology, that is),
so my wit just happened to hit you this time...


Old Bill Shakespeare:

I finished Supper, OTs and Rice
was happy, though no Clear
Then I felt it in the Air
The room went cold as Ice

Then cover'd only by a Surplice
A gruesom Figure came
For some to worship, some to flame
'twas Elron, Mighty Lord of Flies

"You have committed a surly Vice
There is no turning back
I have sent David on your Track
And He will not be nice"

'Cos if you cross the Church of Lies
You'll see the coming of a big Suprice



--


--------------------------------
Vis tecum sit      ///|\\\
                   | o o |
Stig                \ - /
--------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.santaism
From: crobertson@mta.ca
Subject: Re: Santa
Reply-To: crobertson@mta.ca
Organization: Mount Allison U, Sackville, N.B. Canada 
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 21:02:40 GMT

In article <1993Jan27.175422.3158@dct.ac.uk>, mcsdc2mlh@dct.ac.uk (Matt Haswell) writes:
>> 	I don't believe in Santa, but i like his elves.
>
>Especially char-boiled.
>
>
>---Really, 'char-boiled'????? Interesting cullinary concept...---
From: gilligan@watnxt14.ucr.edu (bill c busenkell)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.santaism
Subject: Santa
Date: 22 Jan 93 05:41:49 GMT


	I don't believe in Santa, but i like his elves.
--
--

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no 
choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

giilligan@watserv.ucr.edu
From: antbh@strix.udac.uu.se (Bernhard Helander)
Newsgroups: alt.current-events.somalia
Subject: Somalia? Re: REVERSING THE SCALES OF INJUSTICE: If Iraq Occupied the United States
Date: 24 Jan 93 22:12:02 GMT
Organization: Uppsala University
NNTP-Posting-Host: strix.udac.uu.se
Keywords: REVERSING THE SCALES OF INJUSTICE: If Iraq Occupied the United States


I search in vain for any somalia related info in this article!

-- 
*****************************************************************************
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Newsgroups: alt.current-events.somalia,talk.politics.mideast,talk.politics.misc