From: kimberly@avignon.wri.com (Kimberly Michael)
Subject: Re: Stranded on an Island (fo
Organization: Wolfram Research, Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1992 00:00:23 GMT

In article <1992Jul16.212903.1317@advtech.uswest.com> stevens@eatdust  
(John Stevens) writes:
> In article <1992Jul13.164535.13740@dartvax.dartmouth.edu>  
kristyp@coos.dartmouth.edu (Kristy Patterson) writes:
> >In article <1992Jul10.203811.11716@advtech.uswest.com> stevens@eatdust  
(John Stevens) writes:
deleted other stuff
 
> >Another case for you. Someone I know had sex with his girlfriend, and  
she
> >got pregnant. She expressed a wish to have an abortion, and he gave her  
the
> >money. They broke up soon after (I don't remember why, but it didn't  
have
> >anything to do with the pregnancy).  A few months later he gets a call  
from
> >her; she has had the baby, and wants him to sign the adoption release.  
She
> >took the $ he gave her, said she was having an abortion, and later he  
finds
> >out she has had the child and given it up for adoption. Fair? What  
would have
> >been most equitable: (1) abortion,(even if she changed her mind)  
because they
> >had agreed to that?  (2) her having to keep it, and him having to pay  
child
> >support if he hadn't signed the adoption release?  (3) her unilaterally
> >deciding to give it up for adoption, and him only finding out,  
essentially,
> >after the fact?
> 
> Good case!  Thank you for bringing it up.  Please post your opinion, I
> really want to hear it.
> 
> IMHO, an implicit agreement was made that the father would not be
> responsible for the child after paying for the abortion.  For case
> 
> 1)	This sounds fair.  An agreement was made, and should be honored
> 	unless renegotiated.  Counter example, if the boyfriend promised
> 	to pay in case she got pregnant, but refused after the fact,  
wouldn't
> 	you say that he was being unfair?
> 
> 2)	Would not be fair.  It would be a unilateral decision on her part  
to
> 	keep it and make him pay support.  He has no say.
> 
> 3)	This would not be fair, as she has unilaterally decided to bear  
the
> 	child and has broken their agreement.  The best solution would be
> 	for her to talk to him about her change of heart and if he agrees
> 	to change the agreement (they renegotiate the agreement), then
> 	it would only be fair if they both payed half of the cost of the
> 	pregnancy.
> 
> >I don't know how to make it more fair, and it becomes more complex when  
at
> >least one party doesn't consider abortion a valid choice.
> 
> I consider it a valid choice for a couple, if they agree, but not a  
valid
> choice for either to make unilaterally.
> 
> >-Kristy
> 
> John
> stevens@uswest.com

This may be a silly question, but If this man cared enough to engage in  
intercourse with this woman, and invested in an abortion, why did he not  
care enough to accompany his partner to the procedure, or at least follow  
up on the situation?  Are there details you are leaving out?  Even in the  
worst of breakups - or perhaps especially in the worst of breakups - I  
would want to follow up on so affecting a situation.  

I don't mean to condone either partner's behavior.  Whenever I hear about  
situations like this, or the opposite, it seems apparent that there is  
much more going on than the synopsis of the story would have one believe.
    
kmbr