From: wkau+@cs.cmu.edu (Wing Keung F Au)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.hongkong
Subject: Re: Crossing the Line
Date: 19 Nov 92 16:17:58 GMT
Article-I.D.: cs.Bxz1A1.E1M.2
Reply-To: csfb1!dbadmin4!fau@uunet.uu.net
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon

In article <Y#G=ry+@engin.umich.edu> hpang@engin.umich.edu (Ho Sun Pang) writes:
>First of all, the word *is* AMBIGUITY.  The spelling is 100% correct.
>
>In article <1ed4huINN3fe@agate.berkeley.edu> bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:
>>
>>I mean, how do you tell if it's a "NO" or a "Maybe"?
>>
>
>The whole ides of my argument is:  NO, YOU CAN'T NEVER TELL UNTIL YOU HIT IT!
>In the past the girls would just keep a distance from you, to discourage you.
>Today?  Most of them would be indifference to you.  Will hang out with you,
>you pay the meals and tickets, of course (that's the gestures of gentlemen,
>right?), and ask you to take her photos (she keep the film and photos without
>paying a cent, of course).  

right, "you can't never tell until you hit it" - it has to be right
on target, there is too much smoke generated by most hk hype girls.

i am the type that hate free riders a lot, and i don't like the idea of
i foot the bills all the time, fine, hang out, "Go Dutch"; and being an
amateur photographer, i never ever give out my negatives, they are mine
unless in advance there is an agreement as to who the owner will be.
if i take pictures of women, i only send them a 8x10.  that's it.  and
i get particularly sick when some one is trying to free ride me that
context, knowing that the "friendship" is not going any further.

> ...
>At the point, you still couldn't tell whether she used you or not.  There is
>no way you could prove it.  That's the beauty of ambiguity:  Only the girls
>would know.

you call that a beauty, no, i don't; ambiguity is beauty only when both
have a certain goal (ie, to date) and _both_ proceed cautiously as to
what pace one should take, what kind of gestures and so on; i don't like
and i can't bear with the idea of planning for years (i know people who
have done that) and wait for the moment/opportunity to come and hit.

>Don't be so happy when you hold her hands for the very 1st time.  I've seen
>so many girls hyping for boyfriends simply because they simply want to use you:
> ...

that is why i prefer to be friends first, sure, there are times/peopl
you see that you know you "want to know them better" almost immediately;
but you can see both the GOOD AND BAD things about some one if you
start out as friends.

>How sad.

yes, life sucks!!!  especially right after my mourning period of yet
another rejection (i am kind of "addicted" to it, 8-) ) by a friend
for a few months, then not just friend, then not even friend...ok?

> ...
>So, want a date?  Apt for an American, they will refuse you immed. without any
>hestitation if she/he thinks you don't stand a chance.  Most HK people called
>this OPEN, I'd call this DRAWING-THE-LINE-CLEARLY-SO-NOBODY-WOULD-GET-HURT.
> ...

agree, 100%, honestly, the cost of searching and "test driving (by no
means implying only sex)" is so high if you are working; even getting
to know more people cost you time (and money).

so to answer the question asked by the "doc's", i would opt to ask
her very early just to make sure i am not getting the wrong signals.

-- 

				    FRed W. Au
				    ...!cmu.edu!au+, au+@cmu.edu
Newsgroups: soc.culture.hongkong