From: pmarlowe@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (philip marlowe)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: Books & MY New Year's
Date: Sat, 09 Jan 93 14:50:57 EST
Distribution: world
Organization: darkpark

> Who's bitter now?  I kind of thought the story was real (if idealized).
> The ending was surprising, yeah, but a slap in the face?  I assure you that
> he didn't write it as a way to offend you, personally. 

 
 You misunderstand. I'm not bitter (hey, despite the irritating 
complications, which I've previous expounded upon in this newsgroup, I've 
FOUND someone...a happy guy, I am), and I wasn't offended. The "slap in
the face" which your story gave me was (a) because you wrote what you 
wanted quite well, achieving the desired result, and (b) I write myself, 
and know where that kind of story comes from. It was a good joke, but 
good jokes usually come from great pain, the kind of great pain I myself 
have experienced on occasion.


> >and I know that it's just so much crap, BUT...I've always found picture 
> >perfect model-types to be boring. Call it sour grapes, call it what you 
> >will, but flawed and/or ideosyncratic good looks attract me more. 
> 
> I know exactly what you mean, here.  I'm also very attracted to personality 
> flaws... Still, I find there are actually more good-looking women in the
> world than there are exquisitely-flawed women.  I don't find that this
> attitude actually helps me get dates.  


 Why the hell not? If can see the interesting quirks behind the 
fair-to-middling face/body/whatever, this ought to make your Search 
easier. Nothing's more pathetic than an average-looking guy pining after 
a supermodel.


> >They 
> >say that physical features have no bearing on what's inside, and I say 
> >that they're wrong -- poise, expression, style, these things often 
> >accurately mirror the personality within. When I read what you wrote, I 
> >dunno...seems flat. Maybe an examination of expectations are in order...
> > And besides, I find the CS-major aspect to be the most telling. Are you 
> >a CS-major yourself? I certainly think so...why do you want a carbon copy 
> >of yourself? Does she have to be exactly like you? What's the fun in 
> >that?
> 
> Give the guy a break.  You are right about all of this, but... I mean...
> it's his fantasy world and he can populate it as he pleases.  Anyway, maybe
> he just meant that he'd have more luck with a CS woman, because she wouldn't
> be as likely to think he was a geek. 
> 


 I realize that the scenario was a fantasy, but fantasies can be the most 
telling indicators of what's going on in a person's mind. If you dream 
about perfection, then don't get a taste of the real thing, it's only 
natural to draw your expectations from what goes on in your mind. 
 Besides, what exactly kind of "geek" are you? One who wears glasses and 
like Star Trek, or one who never bathes and hates women? The term 
encompasses a LOT.




> 
> > Some people born NOT to fall in love? Yeah...and some people are born 
> >not to breathe. I totally understand your opinion that "Some day, it'll 
> >happen to you"-type advice is small consolation, but it's like those 
> >annoying things that your parents always told you. You don't want to hear 
> >it, but it's the truth.
> 
> Well... Things in life are not so easy.  Like I could get run over by a
> truck today, and then I'd never have had a really satisfying relationship 
> with a woman.  Or I could just keep on being unlucky.  There really are
> people who remain lonely through their lives, just like there are people
> who--say--die of cancer.  It's not their fault.  It's not that they didn't
> have a positive attitude.  Things just didn't work out.
> 
> What do I do about it?  I guess I try to focus on the things I can enjoy in l
> whether or not I'm in love.  I keep looking, but I'll survive either way.

 Aw, come on. It isn't about "luck". It's about ATTITUDE. Fatalism will 
get you nothing.

marlowe

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