HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM (Fil Feit)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Not funny, if "(good) Irish Joke"
Date: 18 Aug 92 12:25:44 GMT
Reply-To: filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems

In article 2123@loke.dc.luth.se, rjnipl@dc.luth.se (Ryszard Nipl) writes:
>>From: ITB650REID@redgum.qut.edu.au (The Great Fodd)
>>Date: 16 Aug 92 23:10:57 GMT
>
>>Two Irish blokes were driving from Toowoomba to Brisbane when,
>
>Why not: Texanese, Australians, Swedes, Poles or other bastards?
>
OK:

A Swedish airliner is about to land.  The pilot looks at the airport and
says to the copilot, "that's a very short runway.  Better give me 30%
flaps".  The plane slows and drops a bit.

A short while later the pilot says to the copilot, "That's an *extremely*
short runway.  Better give me 60% flaps".  The plane slows and drops much
more.

Soon after, the pilot says, "This is an _amazingly_ short runway.  You'd
better give me 100% flaps".  The copilot does so, the plane stalls and drops
flat onto the runway.

The pilot says, "That's the shortest runway I've ever seen".

Copilot: "Yeah, but it's awful wide".

--f2
-----------------
  Dying is easy.
  Comedy is hard.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: J056600@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM
Subject: Re: Confuscious says.......
Organization: Lockheed Missiles & Space Company, Inc.
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 92 00:19:09 GMT


>>Howdy folks,

>>  just wondering has anyone got any Confuscious says..... jokes.
>>  For starters, I'll contribute mine:

>>  your turn....


Confucius say, "Crowded elevator always smell different to midget."


Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.warlord
From: pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin)
Subject: Re: Oxymorons revisited...
Reply-To: pt@geovision.gvc.com
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 19:57:30 GMT

In rec.humor, miket@unislc.uucp (Michael Thompson) writes:
>In article <1992Aug17.142830.6596@dragon.acadiau.ca> 890232a@dragon.acadiau.ca (Steve Astels) writes:
>>>>Strip Mining
>>Here in Canada one of our favorites is "American Intellegence"
>How interesting Steve, one of our favorites down here is "Canadian Humor"

>      
>      
>Mike Thompson                 |    It's true, forgiveness IS easier
>(801) 594-4560                |    to get than permission. ;-) 
>unislc!miket                  |              -----------
>miket@unislc.slc.unisys.com   |    My employer is profoundly grateful
>                              |    that I speak only for myself.
>             |\/\/\/|
>             |      |
>             |      |      _________________________________ 
>             | (o)(o)     /                                  \
>             C     __)   |   Mike Thompson, who the hell      |
>             | ,___|  __/|              are you?              |
>             |   /        \__________________________________/
>            /    \         
>Mike Thompson                 |    It's true, forgiveness IS easier
>(801) 594-4560                |    to get than permission. ;-) 
>unislc!miket                  |              -----------
>miket@unislc.slc.unisys.com   |    My employer is profoundly grateful
>                              |    that I speak only for myself.
>             |\/\/\/|
>             |      |
>             |      |      _________________________________ 
>             | (o)(o)     /                                  \
>             C     __)   |   Mike Thompson, who the hell      |
>             | ,___|  __/|              are you?              |
>             |   /        \__________________________________/
>            /    \         

Well, in alt.fan.warlord, it's "Non-bletcherous Bart Simpson signatures".

Hey, good thing you included it twice, or we might have missed it the first
time.

-- 
Paul Tomblin, pt@geovision.gvc.com or {uunet,revcan}!geovision!pt
(This is not an official opinion of GeoVision Systems Inc.)
"I don't have time to think it through: I've got to get this code written!"

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jxr1092@ritvax.isc.rit.edu (Jens Rodenberg)
Subject: Re: Use the word...
Reply-To: jxr1092@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 20:27:48 GMT


>Any other "Use the word" jokes out there? There'd better be, or I'll start
>singing like Fivel! Yes I like him, but he don't sing to good.
--
   Use 'hormone' in a sentence:

   "You should have heard that hormone last night after I didn't pay her."

--
   I don't remember this one as much as I'd like to (note omission of a poem),
but here goes anyway:
--

   Ralph Waldo Emerson and Joe Shmoe are at the pearly gates, but admission
is limited to one person, so the contest is to make up a poem using
'Timbuktu.' (sp?)

   Ralph goes first, and says:

      "<insert the type of poem only a poet could write, using 'Timbuktu'>"

   Joe goes next and says:

      "Tim and I were walking in the park
       It was warm but starting to get dark
       Along came three blondes with eyes so blue
       So I bucked one and Timbuktu!"


--
Jens

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kirkwood@qucis.queensu.ca (Scott Kirkwood)
Subject: Re: `Subject: oxymoron'
Organization: Computing & Information Science, Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 01:21:52 GMT

A friend of mine's sister is engaged to a civil 
engineer -- it's quite the embarrassment for the whole 
family.  I had a printout of oxymorons taped to my door and
she noted that I was missing one:

		Civil Engineer.

-------------------- kirkwood@qucis.queensu.ca ----------------------
  YAAAAP - Yet Another Association Against Acronym Proliferation

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: miket@unislc.uucp (Michael Thompson)
Subject: Help with limerick
Reply-To: miket@unislc.UUCP (Michael Thompson,B2C04,4560)
Organization: Unisys, Salt Lake City
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 16:56:15 GMT

Many years ago I had a copy of a limerick that never failed to get a
lot of laughs.  However, I've managed to lose it and have never seen 
or heard it since.  I'm hoping someone out there may be familiar with 
it and be so kind as to email me a copy, or better yet, post it to the 
net.  I will make a feeble attempt to recall as much of it as I can and
hope it rings a bell with someone.  The limerick is slightly off color
so I apologize in advance if anyone is offended.  Here goes.....


While kissing and hugging in the strawberry patch
I offered her a quarter to feel of her snatch
She said "keep your quarter, I don't want to steal"
But as to my snatch you are welcome to feel.

I lifted up her dress, her panties I let fall
She stood there like Venus, the fairest of all
My finger started twirling her p___ies soft hair
I could have sat there forever with my hand resting there

I laid her down in the soft green grass
One hand on her waist the other on her a__


and so it goes....on and on.

Unfortunately this is all I can recall.  Help from anyone who
may have a copy of this will be appreciated.
      


Mike Thompson                 |    It's true, forgiveness IS easier
(801) 594-4560                |    to get than permission. ;-) 
unislc!miket                  |              -----------
miket@unislc.slc.unisys.com   |    My employer is profoundly grateful
                                   that I speak only for myself.
From: sl0n5@cc.usu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: "dumb" men jokes"-mild flame
Date: 14 Aug 92 16:39:59 MDT
Organization: Utah State University


In article <1992Aug8.011617.27942@nic.umass.edu>, s5202734@titan.ucc.umass.edu (s5202734) writes:
> Why don't women have any brains?
> So what's your point?
 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Because they don't have cocks to keep 'em in.
> 
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 17:43:21 GMT

In article <1992Aug20.220742.5917@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:

    Well-spoken apology which was not offensive in any way delted.

>
>Brett, your statements are very offensive to me - wheather you think
>this is a joke or not you are just simply spreading hatred and
>insults. As a community of intellectual's this cannot be tolerated
>on the network and you should just simply stop posting this kind 
>of crap; keep it to yourself. ALSO THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR 
>SHOULD SEE TO THIS. 
>
  This is addressed to everyone out there who  really knows what they're 
doing computerwise (I regret that I, myself, do not fall into this
category).  Will someone please have the decency to write a program that
will cause *every* message that is posted to the net to go thru mario's 
personal box first.  That way we can all be assured that nothing of dubius
taste of quality will be posted here.  Unfortunately, not all of us have
mario's fine sensibility.  Fortunately, we do have mario to keep his eyes
open for us and make sure that nothing untoward goes on on the net.




-- 
***************************************************************************
I'm not afraid of indimmersee.        /  jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu
I'm afraid of bricks                 /  is Jenny Gutbezahl
  Jay Cantor - Krazy Kat            / University of Massachusetts
From: mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel)
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Atheists: god REPLIES
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 18:30:18 GMT

In article <906ePB1w165w@comtch.spk.wa.us> mhughes@comtch.spk.wa.us (Mark Hughe
s) writes:
>rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za writes:
>> I HAVE HAD OCCASION TO REMONSTRATE WITH SOMEONE BEFORE CONCERNING THESE TOPI
C
>> THIS SOMEONE IS NO LONGER.
>> I REITERATE: I DO NOT CARE IF ANYONE BELIEVES IN me OR NOT.  I LIKE WHAT I L
I
>> AND THAT IS THE BEGINNING
>> AND THE END
>> OF THE MATTER.
>> KINDLY DESIST FROM THESE IDLE VAPOURINGS.
>> god
>
>  Wow, I wasn't aware that god was on the Internet.  What's his address?
>god@heaven.vatican.it?  :-)

Actually, when I was young I "learned" that "God" was everywhere.
Yes, I was always the smart-ass that had to ask if "He" was
in the toilet too!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: 11mbruce@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Mere)
Subject: Request for Jokes Mailing List
Organization: Gallaudet University
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 04:32:29 GMT

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meredith Bruce     11mbruce@gallua.gallaudet.edu      Gallaudet University
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi. Somwhere out there, there is a JOKES mailing list. I would like to be
on it! I love jokes! So, hope there is one....

If there is, email me!!

Thanks,
Mere

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: 890232a@dragon.acadiau.ca (Steve Astels)
Subject: Re: Oxymorons revisited...
Organization: Acadia University
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 14:28:30 GMT

>>Taxi Cab Drivers
>>Prison Reform
>>Government Subsidies
>>Foriegn Imports
>>Strip Mining
>>System Manager
>rec.humor.funny

Here in Canada one of our favorites is "American Intellegence"

-- steve

-- 

       Stephen Astels               "I am the lizard king,
                                     I can do anything..."
   steve.astels@acadiau.ca                         - Jim Morrison
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson)
Subject: Re: WANTED-Answering Machine Messages
Keywords: answering machine, message, original, funny
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: 12 Aug 92 14:20:56 CDT

In article <1992Aug12.141822.15111@eagle.lerc.nasa.gov>, mmjimm@luna.lerc.nasa.gov (Jimmy Gonzalez) writes:
|> 
|> A few months ago somebody posted a huge list of messages for
|> an answering machine. I'm planning to get mine and I would
|> like to have some ideas to create a good and bizarre message.
|> 
|> If the person who posted that list reads this, please send me
|> an email to: mmjimm@luna.lerc.nasa.gov. or repost the list. 
|> If somebody has copy of it, please send it to me or repost it
|> to rec.humor.
|> 
|> Thanks!
|> 
|> 

could you please send it to me as well?  thanks

c

 
-- 

+===============================================================+
Christine Nelson           Going out of my mind...   
nelson@eastrg1                     ...back in 5 minutes.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rsykes@AFIT.AF.MIL (Robert K. Sykes)
Subject: ASCII art
Organization: Air Force Institue of Technology, WPAFB OH
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 18:01:48 GMT

 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM  MM''MMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM  M'  MMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" ''' "!MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM  M  MM"'MM
 MMMMMM'"M' MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMV'                '"MMMMMMMMMM.  'MM  M  M' .MM
 MMMM'M :M ;MV MMMMMMMMMM'                      "MMMMMMMMMM.  ": M .! .MMM
 MMM; M  M :M' AMMMMMMV'                          "MMMMMMMMM.  .'''. AMMMM
 MMMM ;  ; M:  MMMMMM'                              'MMMMMMM'        MMMMM
 MMMM. ; . M  AMMMMV                                 'MMMM"" ' '.   .MMMMM
 MMMMM  .    MMMMMV                                    '. ..    ;  .MMMMMM
 MMMM  '"@"  MMMMV                                      MMMMMM.'   MMMMMMM
 MMMM.  ;        '                                      'MMMMMM.   MMMMMMM
 MMMMM..'.   .MM'                                        MMMMMMM    VMMMMM
 MMMMMM  AMMMMMV                                         'MMMMMM.    MMMMM
 MMMMM'  MMMMMM:                                     ..   MMMMMMM     MMMM
 MMMMM   MMMMMM: @@.                              .'  @@  : 'MMMM.     MMM
 MMMM'   MMM''': :@: '.                         .' ..@@@  :            .MM
 MMMV   ''     : '@@@@: '.                    .'  .@@@@@  ........./MMMMMM
 MMM           :  @@@@@. .' .              .' A. .@@@@@'  MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMM:..........:  '@@@@@@@.  ! '. - - - . '.  .@@@@@@@@   MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM   '@@@@@@@@@@@@.    !    .@@@@@@@@@@@@'  MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM   '@@@@@@@@@@@@@...@@'..@@@@@@@@@@@@'  AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA   '@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@   .MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA    @@@@@@@@@@@@"'O'OOOO'@@@@@@@'   .MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA    '@@@@@@@VOOOOOOO.OOO @@@V     AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA     '@@@@OOOOOOOOO.OOO@'     .MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA        '.@@.OOOOO.OO     .AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA.          OOOOO OOOO .MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA..      OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOO.MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM OOOOOOO.MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM---MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Organization: Doctoral student, History, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 17:41:47 -0400 
From: Lori Cole <lc1r+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Net Malapropisms

My late grandmother once asked my father whether he'd had the "sock
observers" checked in his car.

Lori
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: cad28526@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Chuck Douglas)
Subject: Re: Far Side
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Distribution: na
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 06:12:54 GMT

kushmer@bnlux1.bnl.gov (christopher kushmerick) writes:

>I have heard that there is a far side book with an index in it for
>all of the published far sides. Can anybody verify this? Does anyone know
>where this index is?

This sound HIGHLY unlikely.  "Weiner Dog Art" has an index in the back
of it (which is amusing in and of itself).  Perhaps this is what you
heard?

>-chris
>-- 
>Chris Kushmerick
>kushmer@bnlux1.bnl.gov

-- 
Chuckers -- a computer operator/programmer/benthic sorter/emaciated aryan.
cad28526@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu	          |"You know I'll give you everything
Novanet:  douglas/o/nova douglas/cerl/nova|I've got for a little peace of mind!"
douglas-cerl OR douglas-o@nova.novanet.org|--"I'm So Tired" by The Beatles
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Eric Huppertz)
Subject: WILL SOMEONE MAKE A REPUBLICAN CONVENTION DRINKING GAME?
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 22:29:06 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Illinois State University


Hi,

Is anyone planning to make a drinking game for the repub. nat'l. 
convention?  If so, please mail or post it; my friend Jennifer and
I are thirsty.... =|^]

-E.

(c)Wild Bill's Wart Removal and Nuclear Weapons Testing Facility, Inc.
-- 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 
+ Eric J. Huppertz   | Disclaimers: | Signature virus mutation: I will copy +
+ ejhupper@ilstu.edu |  the usual   | MYSELF into your .sig!!  Mwa ha ha... +
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From: mark@nwra.com (Mark)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Oxymorons revisited...
Date: 18 Aug 92 19:08:55 GMT
Organization: Northwest Research Associates, Inc.

What about...

Sport Utility Vehicle



    )_ _               -------------------------------------------    
   /  ) ) _        /          Mark Baldwin - mark@nwra.com
  /  / / / / /\_  /_/  Northwest Research Associates, Bellevue, WA
 /  / /_(_/_/  (_/ \__ -------------------------------------------  
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal)
Subject: Re: Use the word...
Organization: liver ---> spleen
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 15:54:24 GMT


In article <1992Aug11.223747.10543@ncar.ucar.edu>
ilana@kiowa.scd.ucar.edu (Ilana Stern) writes:

>That's "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think!"
>(told to me by my horticulturist housemate)

But credit belongs to Dorothy Parker.
-- 
Sam Saal      kingfish!saal OR saal@kingfish.att.com
		Note new machine name
	Vayiftach HaShem et Peah Ha`Aton
From: graeme@abekrd.co.uk (Graeme Griffiths)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: ASCII Pics
Date: 21 Aug 92 11:59:36 GMT
Organization: Abekas Video Systems, Reading, UK.

In <92232.192221JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu> JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu (Joe Carlson) writes:

>In article <1992Aug19.101046.25475@email.tuwien.ac.at>, nino@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
>(Marinos Yannikos) says:

>>:
>>: B52 BUFF (contributed by Mary Shafer shafer@skipper.dfrf.nasa.gov, from
>>:           a signature by rutgers!faatcrl!jimb)

>>Very nice, but this guy forgot to draw the british soldiers that were killed
>>in the bombing...

>          too bad the british soldiers don't know how to read a map, eh?


	Yeah and too bad the USAF can't recognise friendly tanks.....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|From: Graeme Griffiths             | "Well your jokes ain't funny,          |
|Abekas Video Systems,12 Portman Rd,|    and there's nothing you say,        |
|Reading,Berks,ENGLAND.             |      that I want to hear....."         |
|(0734)585421 x2247                 |                     Skid Row           |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dschlot@pioneer.arc.nasa.gov (Dave Schlotthauer)
Subject: Re: `Subject: oxymoron'
Organization: NASA Ames Res. Ctr. Mtn Vw CA 94035
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 92 00:36:33 GMT

In article <1992Aug19.225735.3392@thunder.mcrcim.mcgill.edu> mehta@INSL.McGill.CA (Kiran Mehta) writes:
>I frequently see this on the Subject line:
>
> Funny joke.
>
>Come on what else is a joke supposed to be.
>
>Kiran.

Well, if you read the clam joke you'll know.

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rowland@aristotle.ils.nwu.edu (Paul D. Rowland)
Subject: Re: test
Organization: The Institute for the Learning Sciences
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 20:49:59 GMT

Guess your not one for humor, eh?

--
Paul D. Rowland - "%) 
rowland@ils.nwu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave)
Subject: Re: Jokes about cowboys
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 04:38:27 GMT

In article <1992Aug11.035302.23836@nntpd2.cxo.dec.com> k_workman@csc32.enet.dec.com (Karen Workman) writes:
>
>In article <1992Aug10.215535.18095@igor.tamri.com>, kelly@igor.tamri.com (Kelly Kittell) writes...
>> 
>>Please mail me, or post, your jokes about cowboys, the Wild
>>West, cows, barnyard sex, Dolly Parton, etc.
>> 
>>Yippie-ki-yi-thank-you!
>> 
>>Kelly
>>-- 
>OKAY HERE YA GO:
>
>What do Cowboy hats and hemorrhoids have in common?
>
>One day every ass whole will have one!      
                   ^^^^^

Did I miss something?  Was this misspelling part of the joke?

=====================jholtgra@scgraph.afit.af.mil==============================
Jeremy Holtgrave                          "Besides, we have more guns and bombs
Air Force Institute of Technology          than you."
Wright-Patterson AFB, Ohio
===============================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: tak@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov (Tom Kreitzberg)
Subject: Re: Blonde Jokes
Organization: Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, CA
	<1992Aug20.163600.14947@husc3.harvard.edu>
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 17:33:22 GMT

No, if she were blonde, she'd say, "Why are dumb-blonde one-liners
always so short?"
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton,talk.politics.guns
From: m15133@mwvm.mitre.org (Graham K. Glover)
Subject: Re: Guns don't kill ...
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 13:04:31 GMT

In article <1992Aug13.204325.17929@news.yale.edu>, 
swatt%mickey@net.yale.edu (Alan Watt) writes:

>The correct statement would be "Guns don't murder people; people murder
>people", as "murder" requires intent, which artifacts like guns don't
>have.  In common usage however *anything* can be a "cause of death".
>
>The gun control debate is mired in enough emotionalism as it is.
>Accepting sloppy thinking for the sake of a neat-sounding slogan does
>not improve matters.

Since you brought up the issue of sloppy thinking, let's clarify "murder" 
a bit.  At least in the Virginia Code, murder is killing that requires 
malice aforethought.

DISCLAIMER:  STANDARD DISCLAIMER.

----------------
Graham K. Glover
----------------
Xref: sparky rec.humor:26577 alt.politics.clinton:2302 talk.politics.guns:19662
From: bd@fluent@dartmouth.EDU (Brice Dowaliby)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton,talk.politics.guns
Subject: Re: Gun control (was Re: democratic platform)
Date: 20 Aug 92 13:56:05 GMT
Reply-To: bd%fluent@dartmouth.EDU
Organization: Fluent Inc., Lebanon NH


glambert@pyramid.com (George Lambert) writes:

>In article <#a9msdc.crisp@netcom.com> crisp@netcom.com (Richard Crisp) writes:
>>
>>I personally believe that if we disarm America, some day a few generations
>>down the road (or sooner if Socialists like Feinstein get elected Senator from
>>Califruitty) someone will declare themselves "President For Life". If we 
>>ever find ourselves in that situation and are unarmed, we are in deep trouble.
>>That is the long and short of it.
>>
>OK, Dick, riddle me this:
>
>If your assertion is correct, how was the military backed coup of Gorbachev
>overthrown by an unarmed population?  Keep in mind that the conventional
>forces of the USSR were the largest of any nation in the world. 
>
>The point is that your argument doesn't hold much water in light of recent
>events in the USSR, and a similar story can be told about how the British 
>were forced from colonial rule in India.

Not true.  Part of what makes the changes in India and in the Soviet Union so
important (and of historic significance) is the fact that so few people died.
A lot more died in India than did in the U.S.S.R. 

But the fact that revolution doesn't always need massive force doesn't mean
that it sometimes doesn't.  Tianamen Square would perhaps have had a 
different outcome if all citizens of China had rifles and handguns.  Like it
or not, disarming the population would make it easier for their later
oppression.

-- 
   Brice Dowaliby, Fluent Inc., 10 Cavendish Court, Lebanon, NH  03766
                         bd%fluent@dartmouth.edu        
             I don't speak for them, they don't speak for me