HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: A physician's opinion on "jeff"
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 21:04:31 GMT

anon-1203@twwells.com wrote:

: Regarding the post from "Jeff" with regards to suicide and to anyone
: who would defend it in any way whatsoever, let me say this.  You
: are basically evil people by nature.  Let that sink in for a moment.

Not at all.  They just have a different perspective than some of us.

: What you have done (for WHATEVER reason you keep trying to justify it.
: ...and I *hope* you haven't fallen into the dangerous trap of believing
: your own bullsh*t...) is the equal of yelling "Yeahhhhhh  JUMP!!!!" to
: someone depressed and perched on a ledge of a tall building.

So?  Some respond to this as a challenge to live.  For others, it can be
the last straw.  Takes a professional to tell the difference - and even they
are wrong sometimes.

: To those who have been frightened by this on ASAR, remember, there are
: a relative minority of basically evil people out there.  Those are the
: ones to be avoided in this life.  Life deserves to be filled by good
: people.

I don't know about this "evil" business.  What is "good" and what is "evil"?
Sounds like more of a discussion for alt.philosophy or talk.religion.newage
than for asar.
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG     erc@apple.com                801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: hartfiel@boa.cis.ohio-state.edu (mathew alan hartfield)
Subject: Re: I'm an uncle.
Organization: The Ohio State University Dept. of Computer and Info. Science
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 23:01:31 GMT

In reply to Robert:

	I don't know if you've seen my posts of a few months ago, but
I was confronted with exactly the same situation earlier this year.  My brother
and his wife has a child in April, and I decided to tell them about memories
I have of my Mother abusing her goddaughter(sp?).  I didn't tell them that I 
also have memories of my mother aubsing me as an infant.   My brother knew that
I have memories with both my father and mother, and he also knew that I have
memories with him, so in some ways this wasn't that big a shock.  I was just
letting them know that Mom had abused infants, so that my nephew would hopefullyhave a better chance than I did of not being abused.  As far as whether or not 
my brother will continue the abuse, I am praying that he gets help.  He was 
extremely physically, sexually, and psychologically abusive, and at this point
I can only pray that he'll get help if he starts to hurt his child.

	The downside of telling my brother and sister-in-law about the abuse is
that my sister-in-law has decided that she doesn't want me to have a relation-
ship with my nephew, because she is afraid that I'll tell him that his Grandma
is a sexual abuser.  I wouldn't do this, unless he came to me first, or I was 
absolutely sure that he was being abused by her, but I'm not sure that she'll
believe that.

	Anyways, I'm going to go now.  I just wanted to let you know taht you're not the only one out there who has had to deal with this.  Take care, and
e-hugs if you want them.

Later.

Matt Hartfield
hartfiel@cis.ohio-state.edu
llug_mh@max.cc.denison.edu


Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1002@twwells.com (scared)
Subject: test
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 09:13:34 GMT
X-Email-Accepted: yes
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

test



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: aw@sei.cmu.edu (Anne Wulffraat)
Subject: Re: Inner Child
Organization: Software Engineering Institute
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 19:45:04 GMT

In article <BuB4FD.FrL@twwells.com>, anon-1201@twwells.com (Jasmyne) writes:
> 
> Can someone explain the basic principles of this inner child stuff? I've
> heard the name floating around for awhile but i really don't understand
> it.


Jasmyne-

Since I know I've mentioned the inner child once or twice, I figured I'd 
explain myself. I assume we all mean the same thing, but perhaps I'm wrong.

I was a normal, happy kid once, before things started going wrong. And each
day the I grew up. But when things did start going wrong, I stopped growing.
Since I blocked stuff out, I didn't grow up with it; I remained a child with
it. So my body grew, my intellect grew, but the child all these things
happened to didn't grow. When I started remembering things, I became really
aware of how it felt to be that child. She's a part of me. And when I 
remember things and the emotions are there, they're her emotions. So I try,
with my bigger body and bigger intellect, to help the inner child - the
child within me who hasn't been free to grow.
It was good to find her. She's pretty cool.

Does that make any sense at all?

-Anne

Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: jareed@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Judith Ann Reed)
Subject: Re: loooong weekend
Organization: Syracuse University
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 92 10:47:04 EDT

I missed the original post, but caught the gist. On the subject of monsters,
imagined and otherwise - our past is our monster, and sometimes it becomes
far too real, and it is scary, and awful, and sometimes it feels like we are
getting too close to the edge. But, remember that we can fight monsters, too,
just like in the "days of yore". In the spring, I was going thru a very tough
patch when there was a monster under my bed, and I had to jump in bed to 
prevent that monster from grabbing me. Then, as I continued to work on my 
issues, one night I realized that that monster was my mother, who killed 
herself violently when I was being abused by her husband. That night, I was
terrified - wondering just what one does when one finally goes crazy, because
thoughts like that really feel pretty crazy. I never saw anything under the
bed, but that made it no less real. I posted to asar next day, and got a 
number of good suggestions. The obvious one is to get a flashlight, and keep
it with you in your bedroom. That helped some. The things that helped the
most, though, were the things that somehow empowered me to "fight" my
monsters. 

First, I was sent a "Magic Dragon", who used to belong to the children of 
one poster. He protected them at night, but they no longer need him. I invited
him to live with me, in my bedroom, visualized him, and he is still with me.
He is as big as I need him to be, iridescent green, glowing and shimmering,
and when the monster makes me afraid, I picture him and feel very safe. He's
housebroken, and friendly to those who need him and call on him, doesn't snore,
and I am very glad to have him. I still use him, but since he is magical,
I know he can come live with you, too, and I hereby freely offer him to you,
and anyone else who needs him!

Second, it was suggested that I create a myth of my own, a myth of power,
of facing my monsters, and battling them, and quelling them. I do not try
to beat them forever, that is not realistic, but if I can summon my own powers,
with magic swords, whatever, and do battle, I can and did capture and imprison
them with spells of power. For me, this meant envisioning myself as a strong
female wizard, and taking to me spells of power and strength, and casting
my demons into a giant black ebony urn with a lid. I then encased the urn in
glowing straps of opal and pearl, and on the outside I encoded the spell of
the power of asar - it looks like children, of glowing inlaid stones, holding
hands around the outside of the urn. Periodically, when the fear starts to
return, I rethink the spells of power, and strengthen the straps that hold
the monsters. 

I am a sci-fi fan, so this comes fairly easy to me, and it feels very right.
I don't know if it will help you, but I offer it in hope that it does. We have
to find our own ways to take our power to ourselves, and use it for the good
that we so deeply deserve. Strength and peace to you!

changeling
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1159@twwells.com (Kristian)
Subject: Technical Question:  Missing posts
Date: Wed, 16 Sep 1992 00:03:48 GMT
X-Email-Accepted: yes
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

>From the  references and quotes in  several recent responses I seem to have
missed  a  few  messages  lately  --  and  I  follow  asar  quite
closely.  We were  down  for  part  of  a  day  due to a hardware
upgrade on our node.  Would that do it?  Or might there be a more
systemic problem I should be inquiring into?

Sorry about the technical question.
    "Kristian"



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: fsacp@acad3.alaska.edu
Subject: Keep on keeping on.....
Organization: University of Alaska Fairbanks
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 06:42:46 GMT

Hi again all!,
   
   I know it's been a while since you've heard from me.  I've been busy
with a lot of different things.

  Let's see where shall I start?

Well my mom left a week ago today (Thursday) and the visit actually went
pretty well.  Though it did bring up some memories for me, I think I handled
it pretty well.  Yeah she drove me nuts with a lot of the attitudes she
had towards different things, but I came to the realization that "Hey she
may be paranoid, but I'm not"  That is something I was never able
to do when I was living under the same roof as she was.

I know last time I wrote, my therapist had told me to take a break.
Well she called me 1 afternoon to see how I was doing and we had
a long conversation about what was going on and how I felt about things
and she asked me to come back into counseling with her.  After some
consideration, I told her that I would come back on one condition, and that
condition was that she do ONLY individuals.  She agreed with that idea.  She is
talking about possibly having 1 of us find another counselor, and because of
finances, it looks like it may end up being Art, but that's up to him.
I saw her on Wednesday afternoon and she asked me what I would like to cover,
and I told her that I had come to the realization that I had a lot of anger
that was built up and undealt with concerning having been raped and abused. I
told her that Art and I were looking elsewhere for family counseling and she
thought that that would be a good idea.

For once in my life I feel stronger in a lot of ways.  I've made a lot of
changes since I started the 12 step writing group and I'm starting it over
again while still continuing in the 1 I'm in.

My counselor looked at me and said "You seem different" I asked her what she
meant and she said you seem more sure of yourself since your mom left.  I guess
whether I realized it or not, my mom's visit was a growing experience!

Aaron is doing a lot better then he was, he had been losing weight to the point
we weren't sure we'd have him around much longer.  But now he's gaining weight
again and we're really happy about that!

Well that's all for now
I'd love some feedback on what people see when they read this message.
*HUGS* to all that want them
Keep on healing
Jay

Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: slg@IEDV4.acd.com ( Leigh Grundhoefer   )
Subject: Re: Self-defense class?
Organization: Applied Computing Devices, Inc., Terre Haute IN
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 18:04:52 GMT


	Hi all,
	
	I enjoy studying RYUKYU-KEMPO which is an Okinawian (sp) style.
	Its based upon nerve points in the body. This makes it
	very affective for adults and children. The school
	is affiliated with Dillman Karate Institute.
	
        Nerve points have been studied widely in the eastern cultures 
        and are used in healing ( accupunture and accupresure ).
        I find it very reassuring because the strength of an aggressor does 
        not have to be matched. The correct application of a technique will
        work 100% on any size aggressor.
  
        My teacher is very experienced ( 20 years ) and describes  
        this style as the most humane. The intent is to control
	without damage. One nerve point that you are probably familiar
	with is the funny bone.  	
	If you wish more information, email me anytime.
        ( DILLMAN also has video's available )	

	S. Leigh Grundhoefer
        slg@acd4.acd.com
	         
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1201@twwells.com (Jasmyne)
Subject: RE: CHAPTER 3...
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 06:15:37 GMT
X-Email-Accepted: yes
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com









PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't kill yourself!!!!!! it can't be worth
it.  i don't know what to say but please don't.....you have to be able
to say that you lived through it despite what other people did to try
and bring yopu done. That kind of revenge is the sweetest!

if you need to email someone and bitch or complain or *anything* please
email me. i'll listen..

JASMYNE



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From: Laurie Mann
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: I'm Back, Sex Abuse Scandals
Date: 10 Sep 92 13:47:43 GMT
Reply-To: lmann@vineland.pubs.stratus.com

I've been away for nearly 3 weeks all together, between
being terribly busy just before I left.

Florida was one of those places that it's neat to go to
once but I'd never want to live there.  The World Science
Fiction Convention went VERY well.

I returned home to hear about not one but TWO sex abuse
scandals in my home town.  Both involved people I knew
slightly, though the person I knew best of all was the
perp.  I don't say "alleged perp" because he shot himself
in the head rather than deal with the six people who were
accusing him.  He'd spent over 20 years teaching catechism
classes, lifeguarding at the pool and leading sports.  He'd
also been raping boys in his car, at the old drive-in, and
in the pool showers.  Kevin had always been nice to me, but
when told what he'd done, I could accept it.

Just a day before this story broke, it was announced that
the son of the (ex?) town treasurer was suing his dad for
child rape and his mother for non-protection.  That case
should be quite interesting to follow.

*  NeXT: lmann@vineland.pubs.stratus.com * GEnie:  Laurie.Mann  *
**** Vote to can George and Dan! **  Vote for CHANGE in 1992!****
**********    Member of the cultural elite and PROUD!  **********
From: v130py5w@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (Renee M Sparling)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Self-defense class?
Date: 8 Sep 92 13:47:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Sep03.195814.27488@sco.com>, joannee@fscott.UUCP (Joanne Eglash) writes...
> 
>Has anyone taken a self-defense class, such as Model Mugging,
>or perhaps something such as karate or other martial arts?
>I am debating enrolling in a karate class, because I think that
>the feeling of being able to fully defend myself against any
>attempted assault would help me feel protected. I have a lot of
>fears about taking that class, though, and going through what
>I think would bring up a lot of memories. I'd appreciate hearing
>from other survivors who have taken such courses ( or  are currently
>enrolled) and how it has been for them.

I took karate for 3 years before i got my hernia fixed.....that's another story
When i first started it was tough cause i was the only girl. It got even tougher
when i was in for about a month and was attacked by a friend of my brothers. He
didn't hurt me to bad but he used his strength, i didn't know enough yet to hurt
him back. I got so mad i almost quit karate....thinking what's the use....
i stuck with it. I learned to take out all my emotions? out in it. I got really
good, good enough that the guy's protected their groin more than anything, i had
a reputation for getting everyone...hard...
i still practice but i think that the best most stable part of my life was when
i was in karate, i had to focus on not getting my ass kicked, and with all the 
guy's not treating me like a girl, i knew i was really beating them, not that 
they were letting me.  they were amazed that i could get really knocked down and
get back up....i have a high tolerance for pain.
i also learned not to look at the floor so much when i walk past someone. To 
look at that person insted of shying away...
so i say go for it!!! It might do ya alot of good.....

renee
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: TY.AU7@isumvs.iastate.edu (C. MARIE RIGGINS)
Subject: Re: two worlds
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 20:10:40 GMT

In article <BuE0qB.L5E@twwells.com>,
anon-1160@twwells.com (poohbear) writes:
>there have been times when i've been ok lately; when i am, being not ok does
>not exist for me.  I am either a together me; an average person, or i am
>shattered in shards and lay all around looking at my parts.  what does
>being better mean?
Each person has to decide what their idea of better is.  When
I first started recovery I decided my goal for getting better was
to be able to go through the day without breaking down in tears
everytime someone said something I didn't like.  Once I got to
that point I looked at myself and realized I still had work to do
I decided that my next goal would be to get through one hour
without dwelling/brooding over my abuse, not to play the what-if
game.  Once I got through one hour I moved on to  two hours and so
on until I could go through a whole day without brooding.
Ok great, I wasn't crying and I wasn't brooding, but I _still_
wasn't happy.  I needed to learn how to laugh and enjoy life and
most importantly I needed to learn how to love and trust again.
This last part was (and still is) hard and I still need to remember
to work on it sometimes.  When the idea was first presented to me
I wasn't very impressed.  First, I didn't think I would ever be
"better" and second, if I was going to get better, I wanted it now
or never.  I couldn't stand the thought of trying to do someting
and having it take so long to accomplish.  However, being locked
in a psychiatric hospital for 2 1/2 months with nothing better to
do, I decided to give it a try.  It was hard work straight through
my two years at Boys Town and I still don't think I'm done.  I
love who I am, but there are still so many things I could work on
to become an even better person.  So you see, better is just moving
from one step to the next, you can always become even better but
that doesn't mean that where you're at now is wrong it just means
you always have somewhere to go.
Always remember... Pobodys Nerfect :)
Lots of E-hope if you want it.
Marie :)
>
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1201@twwells.com (Jasmyne)
Subject: help
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 21:46:09 GMT
X-Email-Accepted: yes
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com


Please, i posted twice but they havn't showed yet.....can anyone hear me?
i need someone to talk to. why doesn't this thing work?

Jasmyne



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: aatresa@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline)
Subject: Re: Tammy Zywicki
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Yeah, *right* !
Date:  9 Sep 1992 10:51 EST  

In article <HERMIT.92Sep9015115@am.ucsc.edu>, hermit@cats.UCSC.EDU (William R. Ward) writes...
>In article <ENIGMA.92Sep7200416@netcom.Netcom.COM>
>|Another "pet peeve" of mine is high heeled shoes.  If I'm going to
>|be outside, I want to be wearing shoes I can run in.  I've seen a
>|lot of women wear high heels at the office, then change to running
>|shoes at the end of the day for the trip home (of course, I just
>|wear running shoes all day long, but then I'm a programmer - a lot
>|of women have to get dressed up for work).
> 
>Well, there are alternatives--I believe there are shoe manufacturers
>that make women's walking shoes that are still "dressy" enough to be
>worn in place of high heels in the workplace, and acceptable for
>running short distances.

There is also, IMHO, the easy solution of kicking your high heels off.  It 
always irks me when I watch a movie and some woman is trying to run away in 
high heels.  Call me silly, but I'd rather get some cuts on my feet (that I 
don't think I'd even feel until *after* the danger was over) than get 
caught by someone with evil intentions on his/her mind.

Gentleness to all
-- Teresa

		Life -- just for the FUN of it!!!!
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: uribe@jarthur.claremont.edu (Lydia Uribe)
Subject: Re: CHAPTER 3...
Organization:  ClaremontShelter for Maladjusted Singers
	<BuFLE8.Eyn@comp.vuw.ac.nz>
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 21:34:53 GMT

In article <BuFLE8.Eyn@comp.vuw.ac.nz> Gavin.Flower@comp.vuw.ac.nz (Gavin
Flower) writes:
>In article <5mvnfy+.boserj@netcom.com> boserj@netcom.com (Jeffrey Boser)
writes:
>
>>.....jeff
>><smirk>  I know im going to get flamed bigtime for this one
>
>Should his local postmaster be informed about his misuse of email?

I have done so, and I would urge our non-anonymous readers/posters to do the
same.  That post qualifies as abuse, in my opinion, and I will not just
stand by and watch it happen.

>Gavin

					Lydia

"You're more than beginning -- you're learning to fly;
 You feel like you're falling, but it passes in time...."
			"From Me to You", Janis Ian
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Soprano (Lydia M. Uribe)                      uribe@jarthur.claremont.edu |
| Claremont, CA                                         uribe@HMCVAX.BITNET |
|           Cats, quilts and diving -- what more could anyone ask?          |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1160@twwells.com (poohbear)
Subject: ***SPOILER YELLING AND SCREAMING***
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 21:40:33 GMT
X-Email-Accepted: yes
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com


I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT ME IN THE THIRD PERSON.
IT TRIGGERS SO MUCH SHIT FOR ME.

i know you don't mean to hurt me, part of me knows it but combined with
the shit of a day and a nine-page letter from home i have NO TOLERANCE
and i just needed to RANT AND RAVE AND SPEW NASTINESS

oh i am so sorry asar i'll go



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