From: "robert winkler" <robert.winkler@canrem.com>
Subject: moontrap
Reply-To: "robert winkler" <robert.winkler@canrem.com>
Organization: Canada Remote Systems
Distribution: rec
Date: 26 Dec 92 07:54:05 EST

Hi Everybody!

     Here's your favourite raving critic again. Having finished with
Alien 3 & Moon 44, today's special's MOONTRAP with Walther Koenig (the
Russian pilot from Star Trek).

     Moontrap, children, is made in 1989, & the best argument for
dropping a mid-sized nuke on Hollywood (on a midsummer day at noon).
Have you ever wondered why there're so many movies that just CAN'T
combine ad 1) a good storyline, ad 2) good SF/X, and ad 3) some basic
scientific logic?

     First of the good side:  Moontrap has two GORGEOUS spaceship-
miniatures that'd be impressive even in a multimillion dollar
superproduct; a few mock-up buildings that are awesome; some original
robot designs, and a number of glass-paintings that are beautiful.
Story-wise, it manages to create a fascinating (sorry Mr Spock...)
blend of A.C.Clark's Spaceodyssey & Rama-trilogy, Daniken, and a touch
of "robotwarriors"-type of persecution complex - for the first half
hour.
     At the 31st minute, however, the movie turns into a B class
DISASTER. From then on the story is a cheap horror flick of suddenly
appearing killers, dusty stereotypes, dark corners & boring surprises
for mentally disturbed s/f fans. It's so BAAAD that the imbecility
will make you cry.
     Talking about scientific logic, the director must've read some
posts here with regards to the plausibility of s/f movies, but decided
to go only halfway. To mention but a few delighting items:

ad 1) there's no sound on the surface of the Moon & in space (that is:
      in vacum), so you can't hear steps, engines, etc, EXCEPT the
      sounds of submachine-guns & booster rockets

ad 2) the Moon's gravity appears to be the same as that of Earth for
      dust, flame (!) and robots, but for the Mooncars there's less
      gravity, while humans're somewhere in-between - basically
      dancing at normal gravity (someone should've told the guy that
      slowing down the film, a rather cheap & very efficient effect,
      can be accomplished even at today's primitive technique...)

ad 3) there's plenty of oxigen for flames in vacum, so much so that
      they can shoot a MAC-10 submachinegun in space(!) with
      "spectacular" fireworks... hey, they even travel by shooting!

ad 4) those naughty robots are invincible in one scene, but more
      vulnerable than a worn out dishwasher in others

ad 5) humans had a marvelously high level of spacetravel 14000 years
      ago, but no explanation is offered how, why, or what the heck...

ad 6) our brilliant ancestors hybernated a lady with beautiful breasts
      at the time; when awaken, she picks up her 14000 year old
      spacesuit that looks & works like new (yeah, it's not made by
      JVC), takes a walk, & then quickly strippes just in time to
      copulate with our hero, in a tent that has no grav.chamber, on
      the surface of the Moon... (hey, after fourteen thousand years
      I'd be in a GREAT hurry too!)
ad 7) these nasty robot-fellows supposedly possess an extremely high
level of intelligence, so they can literally build a ship from
scrap-metal - yet they wait for fourteen thousand years to get a small
landing craft from Earth so that they can finish the building with this
last "domino"; guess there was nobody to tell them that if they built a
factory and the necessary tools, they could make their very own domino
from the material of the Moon in fourteen months...
     Well, there would be more, but I'm too upset to carry on.
Conclusion: if you want to see nice models, mattes, & good designs, rent
the movie, turn OFF the sound, & fastforward it to the right place. Or
better, buy a Toaster, make YOUR OWN MOVIE & forget about the shit that
Hollywood keeps vomitting on to the B market & into the neck of innocent
s/f fans.
Take care
Robert
--
Canada Remote Systems  - Toronto, Ontario
World's Largest PCBOARD System - 416-629-7000/629-7044