From: davem@mcs213k.cs.umr.edu (Dave Mentis)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Phone Ettiquette
Date: 9 Apr 92 19:30:16 GMT
Organization: University of Missouri - Rolla

I responded to an article earlier by Judy Tyrer on this subject and I don't
think it got out (newsfeed upline was down for a few days :-(   )
Since it's closely related to this article, I'll respond here (again ?) ...


In article <1992Apr8.225937.29691@athena.mit.edu> sst@athena.mit.edu (S. Tucker) writes:
>In article <1992Apr03.151650.32458@watson.ibm.com> strom@watson.ibm.com
>(Rob Strom) writes:
>>If you call my wife and I answer the phone, presumably I'm authorized
>>to answer the phone.
>
>Um, problem.  If I'm a stranger to you, then I _can't_ presume you're
>authorized to answer the phone. -- For all I know you're the burglar.

And I don't know who you are, either. So I'll continue to assume I know
the callee better than you do, at least till you give me reason to
believe otherwise -- which requires that you at the very least tell me
who you are!

In fact I'd presume that if we made a large number of telephone calls to
people and received a large number of telephone calls for people that we'd
note the following, independent of any prior knowledge about 
callers/answerers (which is precisely the point -- at the beginning of the
conversation neither of us knows who we are talking to).

The answerer, by a LARGE margin, knows the callee MUCH better than the caller
does. And they know what the callee wants done with their calls when they
don't answer for themselves. (If nothing else, I have a better idea as the
receiver whether a resident can get the phone now or not, and if not, why.
You KNOW I'm there -- you dialed our number! )

>When I call a business, I expect the call to be intercepted by a
>secretary.  That isn't the case for a personal number.
>

I wouldn't say that every call for my wife is going to be answered by me.
But I wouldn't assume none of them are. I'd assume most home phones are
answered / used by more than 1 person. I'd be happy to let Doyla answer
all calls for Doyla and I'll answer all calls for Dave. Problem is, I
don't know which is which until I answer (she answers) the phone...
Besides, if you discuss the cases where only one person uses the
phone, then there's nothing to consider as to whether I'll ask who
you are for somebody else. Either you get the somebody you want in
these cases or you get nobody.

>>when I call, I say, "Hello, this is Rob Strom; may I please speak to ---".
>
>I do this automatically if
>1) I'm unknown to the intended recipient, i.e., it's a business call, or
>2) I have some acquaintance with the person who picks up the phone
>
>but not in the intermediate cases like you describe.  I'm not sure why;
>perhaps it's related to having "never give out any information to a
>wrong number" drilled into my head.  Do you make a distinction between,
>"Who shall I say is calling?" and "Yes, who shall I say is calling?"
>when a caller asks if X is in?  The first one makes me paranoid, while
>the second sounds "safe".
>

I must be misunderstanding the above ??

YOU are the caller. There should be no wrong number from YOUR point of view.
You needn't be paranoid if I don't indicate "YES, who shall I say is calling?"

Yes, she's in ? 
I have more reason to be paranoid about giving out that info.

Yes, I'll forward your call ?
The callee may not be available now -- I might not be able to connect you
to them. 

Yes, I'll take a message ? 
I'll need your name.


  -- davem@cs.umr.edu   (Dave Mentis)