From: judi@wam.umd.edu (Jay T Stein -- new higher chroma model)
Subject: Re: Dan Quayle's remarks.
Originator: judi@rac1.wam.umd.edu
Organization: Washington Area Clinic Defense task Force, Washington, D.C.
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 08:02:44 GMT

What. <1992Jul27.231818.10374@csus.edu>
Who.  chaneysa@nextnet.csus.edu (Stephen A Chaney)

>>  = Jay T Stein

>>Yes, and [Quayle's] wife said simply, "She *would* have the child."  No
>>hint of concern for their daughter's health, no trace of compassion for
>>whatever situation she might be in... a fine example of why parental
>>consent laws are dangerous.
>
>Well, Jay, if she's told that abortion = prompt removal from the home,
>she'll carry the child to term. Guaranteed 90%+ success rate. 

This is the story of two families.  One was headed by a father who used the
kind of tactic you describe.  He explicitly told his daughter that if she
ever got pregnant, she would be disowned.  He made the same threat about
many other things as well, most of them far more trivial than pregnancy.
His tactics, on the surface, worked.  She never got pregnant, and the
iron-fisted military-style rule (he had been in the Navy, I believe)
indeed kept her in line.  Or so it appeared.  I dated this woman,
and she was a nervous wreck because of her father.  His relentless drive
for control over her life pushed her away from him and toward me.  Indeed,
on more than one occasion I had to beg her to go back home to her father.
Because of her financial position, though, she was stuck with him.  Despite
her misery, she stayed at home and lived by his rules.  We finally broke
up in 1990, and we didn't talk much after that.  However, I talked to
her last week.  She's living in Pittsburgh now, on her own.  She told
me that her father had tried to use the disownment threat to get her to
change careers.  The dam broke, and she broke off the relationship with
her parents - for good.  She told me that she's now in counseling, and
has been since January.  She's doing much better now that she's away
from her parents and in control of her own life.  Janet's [not her real
name] story is not unique - I know of more than a few others.  Her
story will be even less unique as parents take your "advice," Steve.

Now let me tell you about the other family.  Control over the children
was never a big issue - when questions or conflicts came up,
they were settled on the spot, with input from the kids. 
And while this may seem like a way to invite trouble,
that trouble never seemed to come.  The three children are
very close to the parents, and to each other.  Friends of the family
often remark (usually with a hint of envy) just how functional this
family is, and for years the youngest child (me) was under the
delusion that *all* families were this functional.

Which family would you rather be in, Steve?  Hers (run your way) or mine?

>Let's not even
>get into sneaky and tricky parents - they're virtually unbeatable.

And you'd be one of them, you've made it quite clear.  I shed real
tears for your future children, Steve - and that's not a joke.
--
     _____     __      __               -=* Jay T Stein *=-
   |   |      |  \    /        
   |   |  in  |   |  |               Internet: judi@wam.umd.edu
|__|   |      |__/    \__               GEnie: J.STEIN18

But still I fear and still I dare not laugh at the madman.
Newsgroups: talk.abortion