From: pooh@group-w.uchicago.edu (Pooh @ the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Love: It is a precious thing?
Date: 12 Apr 92 13:17:21 GMT
Organization: Medieval England, Iowa

In article <w3vj22b@lynx.unm.edu> blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes:
>>Would you rather not have any relationships?   What's the REAL point
>>of a relationship: to kill or be killed, or to experience, however
>>briefly, the feelings of love and companionship?
>
>If you're looking for 'briefly, the feelings of love and companionship', get
>a damn dog. if you're looking for a Real (tm) relationship, then brevity,
>or the 'thought' of a relationship just ain't it.

rON, again, you're falling into a trap.  If someone breaks up with
you, in your bitterness you want to pretend that s/he could only do
so because s/he never felt anything for you to begin with; therefore
it wasn't a Real Relationship.  Bullshit.  

As I said, ALL relationships end one way or another.  If you do the
breaking up with someone, are you really going to tell me that you
never really were in love with her?  Did you get involved *because*
you weren't interested, so that you could have all the "power" and
trash her life? WHY DO YOU BOTHER GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS, THEN?

>I agree with what Mel said above- if you're on the sucker end of a relation-
>ship where only one person is interested, then breaking up gets to be twice
>as difficult- not only do you have to deal with a breakup, you have to deal
>with the fact that the person you >thought< you were having this really
>nifty relationship with was just pulling your taffy.

Who says only one person was ever interested?  Relationships don't
work out for a LOT of reasons; the one where "he was just pulling
your taffy" is WAY down the list.  Anyone who reduces every broken
relationship to "she never cared about me in the first place and
just got involved with me to hurt me" is *very* immature.
Likewise, so is anyone who thinks the point of a relationship is
NOT to feel as much so that you can trash the other person before
he trashes you.

You'll learn the difference, rON, when you have a relationship
where you truly loved each other, and continue to care about each
other and respect each other even though the relationship doesn't work 
out for reasons beyond your control.  You'll also learn the difference
when you're able to appreciate the reasons why someone breaks up with
you even if you're the one who got hurt by them.

>Like I was saying above- cheap sex is available at your local bar, and a good
>dog (or cat) can provide you your brief feelings of love and compainionship...
>r.

>The Real(tm) point of a relationship is to attempt to establish a working
>viable co-existance with a MOTAS- one that is mutually beneficial sexually,
>emotionally, etc.

How is this different from your 'prescription' for me for cheap sex
and a dog or cat?   Cheap sex is mutually beneficial (right, Dan?)
and my relationship with my cats is emotionally mutually beneficial.

But let me tell you something -- it's NOTHING compared to being even
in a short relationship.  If you can't appreciate the time in a relationship
while it's happening, and not regret it later even if it breaks up,
then I feel sorry for you.

Pooh
       pooh@group-w.uchicago.edu
Newsgroups: soc.singles