From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: A square grand
Date: 25 Aug 92 22:02:13 GMT
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

"All right, here's a new game for you all.  What would you do if you had a
million dollars?  After taxes--you won the lottery, you inherited it from a
long-lost uncle, whatever.  You have a million dollars--heck, two million or
ten million.  More money than you could possibly get rid of without buying most
of a city or Van Gogh's "Sunflowers".  So, what do you do?

"Here's what I would do.

"First, I'd quit my job.  Boom.  So would my wife--I asked her.  We'd get a big
house somewhere--my wife favours an acreage, but we could negotiate--with
enough room to store >all< my books and tapes and stuff.  Plus room for about
ten guests.  We'd have to hire a maid to clean it, of course, or a maid service
or something like that, since this day and age disapproves of servants.

"I'd get myself a Color NeXT computer, and a gigabyte hard drive or two.  (I
amass >lots< of data, and this way I could archive a newsgroup or two.)  I'd
make my computer an Internet node--probably hiring a consultant to get it set
up and maintained, since I know very little about running an Internet node.
I'd call it azpiazu.ab.ca or something like that.  I'd give NeXTs to a few of
my friends, notably my brother, who I'd dearly love to see on the Net sometime.
They could be subnodes of azpiazu...  I'd get a few other kinds of computers,
basically the top of the line in Macs, Amigas, IBMs, etc.  Maybe I'd just rent,
so I could always keep up with the State of the Art.

"I'd get loads of computer games, but probably never play most of them, since
I rarely do.  I'd print out a list of the albums I have currently and the
albums I wouldn't mind getting, and make a >big< order from some record store,
or Columbia CD club or something.  Of course, I'd have to get one of those home 
entertainment centers with everything from a turntable to a CD player to a VCR
and a big-screen TV.  Anyway, I'd probably have to keep some of my tapes since
I imagine some of the stuff I have isn't available on CD.  (Say it's not so!)
Well, at least I don't think so...  And maybe I'd go about replacing those
books I could with newer copies, or at least hardcover ones.

"I'd spend a whole bunch of time on the Net, of course, and maybe I'd start
running a BBS from home.  Or hire somebody to do it for me--I know a couple of
amateur BBS people in Edmonton who'd probably love to be paid to do it for a
living.

"I'd try to organize, or get someone else to organize, a big get-together for
>everybody< from alt.callahans.  I realize that this is probably a completely
impossible logistical problem, and that I might have to visit a few of you
individually, and I'd probably want to go down to Australia anyway, but I
think it would be really cool to fly all my net.friends up here for a bash.
Or someplace else, if necessary.

"I'd probably travel some, but not that much--my wife and I have a limit of
about a week of travel before we really desperately want to go home.  And my
wife likes her writing--I suppose I could get her a laptop, but she also wants
to be playing tourist a bit when she travels--she just gets guilty without her
writing.  But I'd love to see Arizona again, and Australia, and some places in
Europe...

"I'd amass the biggest collection of language dictionaries outside the Library
of Congress, and see how many of them I could cram into my tiny little brain.
Computer languages, too.  Maybe I'd even try the dreaded Intercal.  Maybe I
wouldn't bother with Cobol.

"Oh yeah, and I'd invite They Might Be Giants and Christine Lavin up here to
do a gig, preferably one during the alt.callahans bash.  I think they'd make a
great double bill--don't you?  Stranger things have happened...

"I'd give money to Canadian SF things, like the organization SF Canada, the
convention ConText '93 and upward(who came in way overbudget on the two
previous ConTexts but have survived because of the donations of satisfied
members), writing workshops, writer's groups, etc.

"One question that's been bothering me about this, though, is--what would I do
for my friends?  If I'm humongously rich, I don't know whether I'd just throw
money at them, or buy them gifts, or just entertain them lavishly.  I've had
thoughts of buying an apartment building and giving them all free rent...but
I don't know if that would work in practice.

"In general, I'd try to have fun, if at all possible.  I don't know how long
I'd go before getting bored, but I've always been able to hunt up diversions
for myself in the past...and I've always loved my leisure time.

"Anyways, that's how Alfvaen(and his wife)would spend their million dollars.
Well, my wife would probably give some to her family, too...

"Anybody else have greedy thoughts?"

--
---Alfvaen(a.k.a. Nysinra, rot13 Psycho)
"While we talk, I will hit your head with a nail
 to make you understand me"  --Ivor Cutler
Current Album--Pat Metheny Group:Still Life(Talking)
Current Read--IASFM November '89
Organization: Freshman, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA