From: aaldrich@encore.com (Al Aldrich)
Subject: Re: Mikey
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 13:51:35 GMT

uphrrmk@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>    I think that's truly wonderful...I'm so damn sick and tired of idiots
>claiming that being a Pagan and practicing Pagan beliefs before your children
>will warp them and cause irreparable damage.  I think this kid is a lot better
>balanced mentally than a lot of the "traditionally " raised kids.  Spare the
>rod and spoil the child, my ass!  I hope when I have children, they are as
>sweet and wonderful as Mikey...

well as you might have seen from Grendal's post, there are different
perceptions about this particular child's behaviour..:-) But I have to agree
that pagan  beliefs are a better model for children than the `traditional'
models they get in media, school, and church. Personally, we are pretty
`strict' with our kids because we can't stand `bratty' kids. We do not
spank them a lot, but we do `ground' them and revoke priveledges when they
push the limits that are well defined. There are just no rulebooks for
raising children and every parent has to figure out for themselves what
the appropriate disciplinary measures are. I do know that positive
reinforcement `only' does not work for us.

>     ....which brings me to my question:  I'd like a child someday, and I've
>been wondering how best to introduce my being a Pagan.  You know...how to
>explain, deal with questions and criticism from other parents, playmates,
>teachers, etc.  Please, folk; give me your advice and wisdom--a friend of mine
>is Wiccan and pregnant, and she's wondering the same thing, as we both live 
>in Montana.  Montana is a very scary state to me.  Never have it been so
>necessary for me to hide what I am, and she is one of three pagans I've met
>in this state. 

I don't know about giving advice. I can tell you what we have done.
We started by having ritual circles at home with just us and the kids.
We would get them to gather up symbols for earth/air/fire/water and place
them in appropriate places in the circle and then invoke `the great spirit'
thanking hir for our wonderful family and good luck in having each other
and food and shelter. Then we would each say something we liked about
one of the natural elements. Then we would just sit quietly holding hands
for about 2 minutes ( all you can expect from kids 5 and 7 ) and close
the circle. The kids take turns blowing out the candles.
We called our ritual `quiet time'.

So if they were asked in school about it, or with their friends, they
would say we `talked to the great spirit' or `we had quiet time'. 
We had the same concerns about the using the words pagan and wiccan out
of context and having social services or whoever showing up at our door.
So we thought, until they get older, we can teach the morals that we
believe in and involve them in ritual to a certain degree, but until they
are old enough to speak intelligently about paganism, we felt it would
be `safer' to use less inflammatory terminology. It's probably a bit of
a cop out, but the witch hunters are out there and some of them would have
no qualms at all about hurting or abducting our children if they were to
talk about who we really are. They have heard us say that we are pagan
but I don't think they really understand what that means.
So for now, we sort of lay low about who we are. We do let them know how
we feel about issues and hate mongers and so they know what we believe
in. We just try to keep away from encouraging them to put a label on it
at this point.

Does that help?

Blessings
al

-- 
Al Aldrich	inet:aaldrich@encore.com
"..if you understood everything I said, you'd be me." miles davis
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MY opinions are not to be construed as those of my employer.