From: pmarlowe@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (philip marlowe)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: My New Year's Eve
Date: Thu, 07 Jan 93 23:15:58 EST
Distribution: world
Organization: darkpark


 Oh, this is just so much bullshit. I hate to be cruel, and I hate to 
attack you for doing what you're supposed to do on this newsgroup, but 
COME ON...


> 
> Got off work and sat in `The Pit' with the rest of the employees. They were l
> and drinking and moving towards drunk. I grimaced, but sat there for several 
> minutes, while people constantly asked me `Marshall, why aren't you drinking?
> 
> These are the same goddamn people who know that I don't drink.

 Ever occur to you that, though they asked you why you weren't drinking, 
what they MEANT was "Marshall, why aren't you having fun?"? I can see it 
now, you brooding in the shadows, sneering at the "goddamn people", 
hating them for not including you in their festivities. I once had a 
friend like you, and I'm fairly certain that YOU drove yourself out and 
then blamed THEM.


> I go home, look at the answering machine. The zero stares back at me.
> Call some friends, no one is at home. Get spiffed up, wearing my
> black pants, nin-fixed T-shirt, Nikes, and hair pulled back in a harsh
> ponytail.
> 

 [Low blow coming, so duck.]
 I wonder why anyone SHOULD call you? To be brutally honest, you don't 
seem like a fun guy to be around...


> Drive to various friend/acquaitance houses. No one is home.
> Decide to socialize, drive next to the single dance club in the area,
> stop my car. I realize if I go in, I am committing myself...
> I know people who work there, and they will be amazed if I show up without 
> somebody dragging me through the door.
> 
> I leave.

 "Amazed"? At what? "Oh, there's Marshall, and he's here without a 
date...better start throwing stones at him!"
 Could be that the people there are assholes enough to do something like 
that, I don't know. But, if that is the case, then go somewhere 
else...remember, the population of people who find themselves alone on 
New Year's Eve isn't TOTALLY composed of embittered males. Try to find an 
embittered female...


> 
> Go home, angrier than I've ever been since I matured enough to realize anger
> doesn't solve anything (re:6 years). Angry at myself, my situation, my
> absolute fear of the opposite sex. (Have a couple of relationships
> fuck you over lately? Yep.)

 [Potential banality coming up, so roll your eyes.]
 So you got "fucked over"...who hasn't? I'd understand some temporary 
ambivalence towards women after such an experience, but "fear"? That 
sounds like something which comes from a deeper place than surface 
angst...


> 
> Orion.
> 


 Look, could be that you're playing up your angst to make it read better, 
but I'm working under the assumption that what you wrote is the truth. If 
so, then you've got a lot of shit that needs flushing, and you don't seem 
to be doing anything about it.
 Do you think that you're the only one who's ever been alone? Who's ever 
been down? Who's ever had a depression New Year's? The trick isn't to 
WALLOW in your angst -- alt.angst, to me, isn't a place for such 
self-indulgence, but rather for a purging. Do you like your pain? Sure 
sounds like it...and unless you want it to be your constant companion, 
I'd suggest you try to deal with it before IT starts to deal with YOU.


marlowe

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