From: razer@oolong.hacks.arizona.edu (The Artful Dodger)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Stuff and life.
Summary: This may be a surefire way to get me out of a lurk....
Keywords: Living with the fear of a touch and the anger of having been a fool
Date: 16 Apr 92 13:04:41 GMT
Reply-To: razer@oolong.hacks.arizona.edu
Distribution: world,local
Organization: Big Bright Green Pleasure Machines, Inc.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-a4

In article <Mumble>, William D Yang writes...
>John D Palmer writes:
> 
>[With everything that's going on in life, it looks like John's falling in
>love.]
> 
>>      "John feels like he's running on emotional empty, which, in fact, he
>>is. . .and he's falling in love with this woman by the name of Paula
>>and he has NO idea how she feels about him, and isn't likely to find out
>>until he has time to try a seduction. . .  with no time or emotional
>>energy, that's going to be a long time.
>>
>>      "And he's scared to death, because he's NEVER had a relationshiop
>>that ended with him NOT getting torn up emotionally, and he doesn't know
>>what's going to happen when this one gets blown to pieces.
>>
>>      "And the worse thing is, he can really see a future with Paula. . .
>>because this is the first woman he's ever dealt with on an equal footing."
>>
>>      Raphael shrugs.  "I don't know what to do.  I might be able to help
>>him fall out of love, but . . . that means throwing away the onlychance
>>at happiness he is oging to see in a long while.  I might be able to
>>help him fall IN love. . . but that could drive him around the bend, if she
>>doesn't reciprocate."
> 
>"You know, I think I know where you're at."
> 
>With these words, Bill (or Ray, if you prefer) comes out of lurking.  It seems
>strange that he's posting more now than when he wasn't lurking... but some
>things need to be said.
> 
>"See, I don't feel really comfortable talking about my situation right now...
>especially since it's conceivable (in fact, highly probable) that some of you
>might meet Rosie sometime soon(ish?).  But I know how you feel, John.  See, I
>don't know where Rosie stands right now, but both she and I know where I stand
>(somewhere between being in love and having gone totally insane over her).
>It's funny...  I'm her first 'real' romantic interest -- she's lived a
>sheltered life -- and she doesn't know what her feelings mean, or how to
>react, or what to do about it.  Not that I know what my feelings mean, or how I
>should react, or any of that... but I've been in love before.  And I know
>something about trusting myself... something I didn't know as recently as a
>touch over a year ago (remember RJ, John?)..."

	Arty winces and shakes his head.  "Man that sounds familiar!
for about five years I was involved with a woman like that.  I made no
secret of the fact that I loved her, and she kept responding with mixed
messages.  She'd say one thing and do another.  
	"All of my friends questioned what I was doing, and I kept defending
my actions, saying that she was just out of touch with her emotions, that
she just needed time.
	"Then, one day, I read something that Scott Keaton said -
'If all of your friends are questioning your actions, maybe it means that
your actions are questionable.'
	"It hit me hard.  I did some thinking, and realized that I
was getting nothing but emotional abuse and worry out of the 
relationship, and that I deserved more.
	"I broke up with her.  I still haven't found miss right,
but I'll tell you one thing - when I meet women who are out of touch
with their feelings, I RUN!"

>[Ray gets nauxious substanse from Mick and heads to the line]
>"I'm talking in analogies, trying to solve two similar problems, trying to
>swallow advice given to me years ago by friends, family, books, and electronic
>personages... words like 'trust your feelings' and 'only live your life; thus,
>you should strive to be happy within the bounds of what you and others can live
>with.'
> 
>"Amidst all the questioning of everything that I know, everything that I
>believe, everything that to this day I've held immutable within my mind and my
>soul...  I've actually found some things that holds true to every test I can
>conceive of, of every question I can pose, every model I can construct.  And
>it's advice I got, from all places, out of a comic book.
> 
>"John Ostrander's words in _Grimjack_ really moved me into questioning, really
>motivated me, driving me into Philosophy.  The words which moved me into
>Philosophy were simple... really, only a sentence: 'Value questions... and
>question values.'  Something I echo to this day, to this minute, to this very
>second.
> 
>With an emptied glass in hand, Ray raises his arm.
> 
>"But more importantly, I learned something about being human through this
>comic book.  To walk, you've got to take a first step -- the most frightening,
>the most daring, the most heroic step of all... the bravery to be who you are
>at the unchanging core of your person.  Aside from all the other shit going on
>in your life, YOU MUST BE YOU!  In being true to yourself, you'll find yourself
>being true to others... and they, in turn, will find themselves being true to
>you.
> 
>"I don't know how to solve your problem, John, any more than I know how to
>solve mine.  I don't know how it'll work out...  But no matter what, remember
>the words which have always gotten me through those nights I didn't think I'd
>get through...  trust yourself, and then trust those whom you trust.  You'll be
>suprised how far that gets you.
> 
>"To love, and to trust.  I think you've got both."

	"Good luck to both of you, and to everyonme else who is
still looking."

	>>CRASH<<

The Artful Dodger P65331727@CCIT.Arizona.Edu|Razer@Hacks.Arizona.EDU
"Can you imagine us years from today, sharing a park bench quietly?
  How terribly strange to be seventy!"
		-Paul Simon & Art Garfunkle "Old Friends" _Bookends_