From: apb.4819@nd.edu (voluptua love)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples
Subject: Re: help!  worried about friends...
Date: 28 Dec 92 06:52:03 GMT
Distribution: alt.romance
Organization: University of Notre Dame

In article <1992Dec28.035809.29078@samba.oit.unc.edu> Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes:
>From: Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
>Subject: help!  worried about friends...
>Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 03:58:09 GMT

>Help!
>Two friends of mine (ages 17 and 19) are engaged, which in itself is not 
>necessarily a bad thing, but...

>It has recently come to my attention that, even though the marriage is
>mere months away, neither of them have thought to start talking about
>such minutae (sp?) as financial plans, where they're going to live,
>how they're going to tell their parents (which bothers me on another 
>plane too), etc..
>And they keep asking me for advice on how to make a relationship work!

>I've tried several times to suggest to my friends -- both of whom are
>college students -- that they get a third party involved to advise
>them in setting up a successful marriage.  I'm not talking about a
>prenuptal agreement, I'm talking about talking out plans for a life
>together.  However, the next question is, of course, who?
>My answer?  A priest.  I'm far from religious myself, being an EXTREMELY
>lapsed Catholic, but I grew up that way and I know that this kind of
>advising is part of a preist's training.  I myself am engaged, and
>it has been suggested to me to go on a retreat that the Church 
>periodically holds to work on this same stuff.  My parents' fairly
>successful 18-year marriage owed a good part of its success to a
>retreat such as this.
>The problem?  My friends are notoriously anti-religion.  I can't
>convince them that the priest isn't going to tell them how to live
>their life, but merely help them figure out what -they- want to do.
>But the minute my friends hear me say the word "priest" they don't
>hear anything else.

>So do any of you know of anyone else I can suggest that is fairly
>inexpensive?  They also told me that a marriage counselor is too
>expensive (something I can understand) and there's nothing wrong 
>with their relationship either.  In short, my friends want advice,
>but refuse to believe me in that certain types of counsellors won't
>be biased.
>I really want my friends to work out, and I think that if they don't
>get bogged down in the little things, they will.  But what kind of
>a marriage is it where they start out without even a house to live in
>or a way to pay for it?

>Thanks so much
>Lady Firebird
>aka Catherine
>--
>   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
>     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
>        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
>           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80







be glad these two are going to marry each other.  by not marrying two other 
people, they'll only make two people miserable, not four.

 
------------------------------------------
voluptua love
University of Notre Dame
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,alt.romance.chat