Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: Asking someone his "nationality" (Today's "Dear Abby")
From: yuan1@husc9.harvard.edu (Nina Yuan)
Date: 23 Jul 92 13:09:12 GMT
 <1992Jul20.213333.3225@u.washington.edu>   
 <1992Jul21.184118.951@mumbo.apple.com> <1992Jul21.202036.19814@rice.edu> 
 <24808@dog.ee.lbl.gov> <1992Jul23.072717.17394@oakhill.sps.mot.com>
Distribution: na

jpak@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Jim Pak) writes:

>I really feel that a lot of times, the question "Where are you from?" directed
>to an AA person is just a lazy way of asking "What's your ethnicity?"  OK,
>so those people who ask aren't the most semantically correct people in the
>world?  So what?  If they ask *POLITELY*, why not tell them our ethnicity?
>Should we give that complete stranger a lecture instead on their "racist" ways?

But to many people, someone who LOOKS Asian must BE Asian (i.e. an immigrant);
I think many times the questions "where are you from" means really that;
where are you from, since you can't be "from" America.  This may be an overly
sensitive interpretation, but when people ask me where I'm from, I see no
reason to tell them anything but the truth, which is that I'm from New York.
If you were, say, Italian-American, and didn't speak with an accent, and
someone came up to you and said "where are you from," wouldn't you say your
hometown?

>Seems kind of pointless to me.  If the thought of mentioning your ethnicity
>to a curious stranger is truly offensive to you, then just simply say, "I'd
>rather not discuss my ethnicity."  Then, if they really meant where you came
>from rather than your ethnicity, the stranger will simply say something like,
>"Oh, I didn't mean your ethnicity; I really wanted to know where you came
>from", and then you can tell them (unless you don't want to tell them that,
>either).  But to be purposefully coy doesn't serve much purpose, IMO.

I don't think I'm trying to be coy, and I certainly have no desire to lecture
strangers on the semantics of their questions, I'm just answering their
question with the truth.

>You know, I was going over the archives a few days ago and I ran into this
>very same subject then.  I found this article below that I'm enclosing and
>I really liked it.  I hope Huy doesn't mind my re-posting it here, because
>I think it's worth saying again.

>[Note: ***PLEASE*** don't flame Huy for this.  If you have to flame, flame
>       ME for posting this again over a year later.  At least I'm here to
>       defend myself.]

>I've met European descended Americans with accents to whom I've asked, 
>"Where are you from originally?"  Thereupon, an interesting conversation 
>flowed (since the white person never felt the urge to get defensive).

Certainly, people with accents are a different case, both for European-
Americans and Asian-Americans.  Note also that you asked "where are you from
ORIGINALLY," the assumption being that since this person has accent, her
or she must not be a native-born American.  A perfectly valid assumption,
IMHO.

>OK, a few more comments.  Yes, I know a "typical" white or black person who
>doesn't have a "foreign" accent doesn't get asked that question with the
>hidden meaning attached to it.  But so what?  Maybe I'm just getting older
>and mellower (doubtful), but among life's inconveniences caused by race,
>this one's pretty low on my scale.  Actually, like Huy said, it can be a
>nice conversation opener.  And why assume (unless they ask it like an asshole,
>in which case they deserve to get nailed by you) that non-Asians think you're
>not Real Americans[tm], rather than the simpler assumption that they know
>you're American too and meant to ask about your ethnicity but were simply too
>careless to phrase the question precisely?

Granted, this is not an earth-shaking problem.  But lots of the problems
faced by Asian-Americans today can be traced back to a confusion on the
part of everyone else over the difference between "Asian" and "Asian-American"
(i.e. Japan bashing and similar incidents).  What disappoints me is that
Abby, who has succeeded in many ways in educating people though her column,
has also failed to make this distinction.

-nhy
-- 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nina H. Yuan                               "It's a miracle that curiosity
nina@panix.com                              survives formal education."
yuan1@husc.harvard.edu                                  - Albert Einstein
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american