From: cbar40@vaxa.strath.ac.uk
Newsgroups: rec.sport.soccer
Subject: Re: Old Firm Trivia
Date: 8 Oct 92 16:10:23 GMT
Organization: Strathclyde University VAX Cluster

In article <92281.110533SHUGHES@ESTEC.BITNET>, SHUGHES@ESTEC.BITNET writes:

> All you Celtic/Rangers fans get your teeth into this

> 1)From the current Rangers playing squad,name
>    a)Who has been arrested the most?

	Could it be Ia-an Fergoosoon?

>    b)Who is the ugliest?

	Could it be Ia-an Fergoosoon?

>    c)Who turned down the oppertuinity to play Donatello in Turtles 2 ?

	Surely not Ia-an Fergoosoon?

> 2)What happened to all the money Celtic generated when they had the great
>   European/Domestic run (from mid 60`s to mid 70`s) ?

	Sources in the know suggest that the financial acumen of the board
(something which has not diminished) led them to invest their monies with the
broker Willie Hill saying that Rangers would sign a Catholic before the end of 
the decade doubled with the fact that the earth was flat (which received 
marginally shorter odds at the bookies).

> 3)How many Rangers fans got arrested in Barcelona after their triumph in
>   European Cup Winners Cup? (bonus point if you know the number of guns that we
>   re pinched from the Spanish police)

	Difficult on that as you don't specify if you count the Fergoosoon
forefathers or not.  Normally, in Scotland half of those arrested are released
because they know the age of their granny , but this wouldn't have applied
consequently I'll have to double my original (conservative) estimate and say 40
million.

	As for the guns - you'd have to ask their Grannies directly.

> 4)What level of mathematical ability is the person(S) who are responsible for
>   submitting the attendance at Parkhead?

	I refer the quizmaster to answers 1 and 3.

> 5)At Celtic Park the fans are regarded as the so called "12 th" man,but
>   what/who is the "12 th" man for Rangers(clue: He is usually dressed in
>   black and give`s out funny handshakes!)?

	Owing to the fact that the anti-Christ was recently transferred to
Everton I'd guess that this is a direct reference to The Mason in the Black. 
(Easiest question yet)

> 6) Using statistical analysis work out the probability of Celtic ever being
>    given a penalty against Rangers in

>      a)any game ?

	If after extra time then I believe that Celtic are awarded one penalty
for every three that Glasgow Rangers score although I'd have to consult The 
Lodge Handbook - sorry my mistake the The Laws Handbook.

>      b)in a game refereed by Andrew Waddell?

	Absolutely nil as he will prevent the unlikely scenario that is 6a) by
awarding Glagow Rangers penalties in the last minute of normal, and
subsequently (if necessary) in the dying seconds of each period   of extra time
until Rangers score.  Worshipful Master Waddell has a copy of this rule sewn
onto his apron - sorry my second mistake, in his referees shirt (see question 5
re. colour of said garment).

> Send your answers A.S.A.P the lucky winner will win a night out on the town
> with the suave,sophisticated Ian Ferguson! Yes YOU and Fergie will dine out
> at any Kebab shop of YOUR liking.After that it`s down town Glasgow to a night
> club(one of which he is not barred from).Then you will proceed to get "mad
> wae the drink" in due course abusing girls,starting fights and being sick in
> public and the end of the night you will be chauffeur driven by the Strathclyde
> Police to your Hotel for the night.......So get cracking

Can't I just win 5 pounds - McKinnon seems to have done enough of this for all
of us.


Dan
CBAR40@VAXA.STRATH.AC.UK