From: zlsiida@fs1.mcc.ac.uk (dave budd)
Newsgroups: talk.philosophy.misc
Subject: Re: Sexual drive
Date: 19 Nov 92 14:19:35 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre

In article <1992Nov7.134415.10980@odin.diku.dk> lunatic@diku.dk (Philip Hoelgaard) writes:

>It seems to me that people are confused about their sexual identity.
That's nothing new.  It's just different people who are confused these days.

>I feel that this is due to the blurring of the differencies between
>men and women. 
Which specific !non-artificially-imposed! differences?

>Everything has become so complicated - the old conventions and role-
>playing rules made it easy for both parties to settle down into roles
>that were of mutual benefit.
Actually things are SIMPLER now: there used to be all these gender rules 
you had to learn and follow; now you just do what you want (As long as it 
doesn't hurt others...).  As for roles of mutual benefit, have you heard of 
wife-battering?

>The man, the provider of the family - the one with the formal power
>of decission and consequently having the power to be generous.
Or to be a despot.  And what if for some reason he can't do the providing?

>The woman, the raiser of the children and the island of love and 
>security - in an ocean of ambition and hostility.
An idealised view of women from a non-existant Golden Age.

>That things are not that simple any more are probably to blame for
>the extremely high divorce-ratios in all the industrialized 
>countries. 
Try extended expectancy of life, and the fact that women now have improved 
means of escape from relationships they find unsatisfactory - previously 
they had no way to get out, so they stayed.

>Furthermore the marriage-frequencies are at an all-time low, and people
>get married much later than before - not only due to the level
>of activity of both parties, but because young people are uncertain
>of each other, confused about their roles.
Again, women no longer need a provider, so refuse to be trapped into 
unsatisfactory relationships.  Things weren't better in the past, it's just 
that women had so little choice in the matter.

>I feel that it is wrong that women should compete with men in the
>job-market. I do not doubt that they can manage careers - but
>blurring out the differencies destroys the sexual drive of both
>man and woman - 
Au contraire.  Career women typically have greater sexual drive.  In fact, 
like many men, success careerwise is often a sublimation of the sex drive.

>the woman needs to admire and respect her husband and to be protected
>by him -
And there's the reason marriage is down and divorce up: women DON'T admire 
and respect men.  Can you guess why?  The average man isn't worthy, and they 
won't stand for it anymore.  Would you?  Try sharing a flat with a male 
friend for a few years and see how much you admire and respect him at the 
end of it.

>the man needs her admiration and her warmth and to feel protective.
He'd better do something to deserve it then instead of whining here.

>I really think that things are exactly as simple as that.
Grow up.  Talk to some women with the patience to explain it to you.

>I personally would have liked things different - how do you feel, 
>honestly?
> 
I can't speak for the sexual side, being physically attracted only to women, 
but there are very few men of my acquaintance that I'd be prepared to live 
with

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  Dave Budd, MCC, Oxford Rd, Manchester, England   (44|0)61-275-6033  
  D.Budd@mcc.ac.uk                                          fax 6040