From: esperanz@phakt.usc.edu (Michelle Esperanza)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: Oriental bias against Indians ? How true ?
Date: 17 Apr 1992 00:58:35 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
Distribution: na
NNTP-Posting-Host: phakt.usc.edu

In article <1992Apr17.020351.12696@oakhill.sps.mot.com> jpak@manute.sps.mot.com writes:
>In article <1992Apr16.181906.1834@nynexst.com> clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu Ayala) writes:

>And I disagree that this group is so "unfriendly" to AFs anyway.  I've read
>plenty of times where people were darn near begging for female input into this
>group.  Somebody even crossposted a question to about 7 or 8 newsgroups just
>to ask for women's opinions on something.  Where's the unfriendliness in that?

Personally, I haven't found it to be unfriendly to me -- but then, I hardly 
ever post (and when I do, no one writes back).  It's like when people say, 
"Sure, there's racism, although I hardly ever see it."  But that doesn't mean 
it's not there. 

>> And then when we say anything, you pick apart
>> anything that is posted that goes against your preconceived
>> notion of the world.
>
>If an argument doesn't make sense or leads to a possible misunderstanding or
>it's just plain wrong or whatever, then hell yes, it's a candidate to get
>picked apart.  You think this is unique to this newsgroup?  If I feel like
>arguing against some statement I felt was unclear or wrong, I have to let it
>go just because an Asian female said it?  Is that the way the female posters
>want to be treated here?
[stuff deleted]
> *In this newsgroup*, I will argue
>against anybody who I felt made an unclear or incorrect point on a subject I'm
>interested in, and I'm not going to pull any punches just because that person
>is a woman.  What, should I hold a double standard instead? 

Many social scientists say that men and women have different communication 
styles (Deborah Tannen is one; her biggie/best-seller was YOU JUST DON'T 
UNDERSTAND, pub. back in late '90 or early '91).

When you say that an argument "doesn't make sense," keep in mind that it may 
not make sense TO YOU.  A particular misunderstanding might not be the fault 
of either party -- it might be due to their differing styles of communication.
Unless it's someone with whom many disagree, like Dwight Joe.

As an AF, I've noticed that SOME men (all races) sometimes misunderstand 
what I say; they've said I'm "too vague, not specific enough," or that they 
want "details and factst emotions."  Many people, regardless of gender, 
are accustomed to thinking in "male thought processes" -- in terms of 
"hard facts" and "specifics" --  because for a long time, men have been 
telling us how we all should think (I know I'm gonna hear from people on 
this one). Perhaps I'm a double "minority" in this group, though, since 
1) I am female and 2) I wasn't a science major (I studied literature and am 
now in social science -- communications, ironically). 

"So," as an ex-boyfriend used to say to me, "what's your point?"  (Even then,
I found it degrading -- as if he didn't hear what I said, though he just
wasn't making much of an effort to understand me.).  No, I'm not asking
for special treatment for AF's -- just respect for the variety of 
communication and thinking styles that females and males have.

Peace.

Michelle