From: schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder)
Subject: Re: Money and the Single World (was: Education and the Single World
Organization: Brookhaven National Laboratory, Upton, NY 11973
Date: Sat, 14 Nov 1992 00:43:10 GMT

In article <1992Nov12.022122.5197@galileo.cc.rochester.edu> jsmt@troi.cc.rochester.edu (Julia Smith) writes:
>So long as we are venturing bravely into questions oft reconsidered...

>How important is money to you in considering an SO?  Particularly
>if you are considering significant financial differences? 
>  
>Scenerio 1:  You find out the person you are interested in makes
>    *quite* a bit more than you do.  Does it make a difference to you?

Yes.  Go ahead and flame me for living in the world of the
societally-reenforced notion that men are the Providers, the Bread
Winners.  Now, of course, in this day and age, I don't buy into that
idea.  However, since I've been acculturated with this notion, I can't
help but imagine that I'd somehow be threatened (if that's the word) by
a woman who made substantially more than I do.  It's just a gender
role-reversal that I'd have to grapple with.

I know this response will make many unhappy.

>Scenerio 2:  You find out the person you are interested in makes
>    *quite* a bit less than you do.  Does it make a difference to you?

It depends (I know, the weasly safe answer).  If I'm a highly successful
professional and she works at a "Things Remembered" keyosk, and that's
all she ever aspires to do despite the fact that she has a college
degree, then yes, it would make a difference.  (Does this sound like it
might remotely mirror a real life situation?)

If, on the other hand, she aspires to make full use of the brains that
she must have (since I'm interested in her in the first place, we assume
that she's got a good head on her shoulders), then that's different.
Maybe she's making an effort to do something with herself that is worthy
of her intellect and abilities.  That's all one can ask.

However, I think that down the road should two such people become very
serious, that a severe disparity in income will inevitably lead to one
or the other feeling somehow "less" than the the one who's pulling in
the bucks.  This is just human nature.  Despite claims to the contrary,
I believe that we all hang _some_ amount of self worth on our respective
stations in life.  Nobody wants to be completely dependant on the other
for financial support, unless of course we're talking about some
mutually agreed-upon single worker/house"person" arrangement for the
sake of any children that might be involved.

In summary....(bet you thought it would never come), it's important to
me that if I'm contemplating getting into any kind of serious
relationship, that we both be on some kind of level playing
field..equals.  "Lopsiders" usually don't last.  Now, if we're talking
about just having fun with someone, that's different.


>Have you had someone break up with you over money issues?  

Yes.  She was filled with an amazing desire for money, and all the
snobbery that goes with it.  I couldn't deal with that.


>Do you think 
>that those of the opposite gender care more or less about money than
>your own affiliation?

I think that both genders are equally afflicted with monetary
preoccupation.


-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gary L. Schroeder  		|  
schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov         |        It's a pomaceous life. 
Brookhaven National Laboratory  | 
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