From: Kay.Shapero@f524.n102.z1.fidonet.org (Kay Shapero)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp
Subject: Re: Sex and RPG's - Why Oh Why ?
Date: Mon, 06 Apr 92 23:42:42 PDT
Organization: FidoNet node 1:102/524 - StormGate Aerie, Los Angeles CA

On <Apr 06 01:07>, Brian Brunner wrote to All:

 BB>Remember when we played tanks & guns & rocketships?
 BB>Our sisters were playing house with dolls.

OTOH Some of us were playing Lensman with dolls...  (Among other things; I 
once had a Barbie doll.  My brother had a GI Joe.  Years after we'd both 
forgotten the things, Mom found them in an old oatmeal container.  Barbie 
was wearing Joe's uniform.  Joe wasn't wearing anything.  We figure they 
whiled away the years playing strip poker and she won.)

 BB>Sometimes we would join the "house" game,
 BB>sometimes they played our games with us.
 BB>No absolutes implied here...
 BB>but would YOU play "Barbie: The Role Playing Game"?
 BB>Or "The House that Wouldn't Stay Clean"?

No thanks - I have to deal with that last one in the REAL world...  
(Seriously - if you really are of the belief that just because women have
usually gotten stuck with the cleaning up that we really LIKE to do so
kindly disabuse yourself at once.  If you don't believe me, we shall
pause while you take one fishing, then tell her she has to clean all the
catch.  OK, get that trout out of your nose and let's continue this
post...)  :->

 BB>for most of us guys, "Doctor" is as close as we're willing
 BB>to get to playing a game we played with girls.

OTOH, I played a lot of war games with my fellow kids of both sexes way 
back when.  It's not universal.

 BB>Our RPGs continue much of what we have always liked,
 BB>and they contain little (relatively, mind you) of what the
 BB>girls liked. So on that note alone it is little suprise to me
 BB>that more guys than gals get into RPGs.

Especially if munchkinism is as prevalent as I gather it is from some
of the postings in here.  Curiously enough, back in the early days of
this hobby I recall playing D&D with a number of folks of both sexes and
didn't run into any problem with it.  I was the only GM in the Klingon
Star Empire, and the fact that I was female certainly didn't seem to
bother the (largely male) Klingons.  

OK - I'd say from what I've read and heard in here that the big problem
is that the hobby is no longer new, and has long since moved into the
niche held by wargaming in high school.  Where sex roles are heavily
segregated (no matter what they tell you) and enforced by the general
tendency of teenagers to be simultaneously going through a number of
physical and emotional changes and terrified that other teenagers will
notice, so that they try desperately to appear like all the others.
This is not likely to change in the near future, so your best bet is
probably to try and lure near relatives and college age folks and older.
I got into this hobby via science fiction fandom back when it was
VERY new, and while we all spent most of our gaming time bashing through
gilded holes, most of the game still had to be made up on the fly by the
GM & players.  It was fun.  Just about everyone I knew who played also ran
his or her own world, and it was several years before I encountered, in
someone else's Alarums & Excursions's zine the curious notion that one
should only play one's own sex.  Heck; I never much cared for playing my
own SPECIES... I do that all the time.

So, want to interest the females in your vicinity in gaming?  First off,
invite them to join in the game.  Make them feel wanted as players. 
You know, beings with brains and ideas who make decisions.  Try to issue
the invitation in such a fashion that they do not feel you are trying to
hit on them.  (If you are, pick a different tactic; there are much better
ones...)

Second, do not treat them and their characters as intruders who must be
chased away.  Stories of the "and then she got upset when we raped her
character and quit playing" variety suggest either INCREDIBLE stupidity
on the part of the players or active attempts at chasing away the outsider.  
Hint - if her mage just fireballed your fighter, you probably said or
did something you shouldn't have.  Try not to repeat it. :->

Third, there probably is something in this assumption that women in general
are more apt to enjoy roleplay in general than trashing something.  So if
there is more character interaction, in the long run you will likely retain
more female players.  Just remember every single player is an individual,
and you're dealing with a population which is all to familiar with being
treated as though they belong in a common mold, and then looked down at.

One thing I do know; anything that looks remotely like patronising will be
treated with a healthy "Take The Nasty Stuff Away".  I'm reminded of the
time I saw a screwdriver with a flower-print handle for sale in the store
under the name "My Very Own Screwdriver" with a picture of a smirking
female face.  It stayed on the shelf for a very, very long time...  
(Small wonder - I'd have rather used a DIME.) 



--  

Kay Shapero
Internet: Kay.Shapero@f524.n102.z1.fidonet.org
Compuserve: >internet:Kay.Shapero@f524.n102.z1.fidonet.org