From: aad@siemens.com (Anthony Datri)
Newsgroups: alt.psychoactives,alt.drugs,talk.bizarre
Subject: Fortean paradoxes
Date: 1 Jan 93 04:18:36 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Siemens Corporate Research, Princeton (Plainsboro), NJ


Date: Sun, 14 Feb 88 13:31:50 EST
From: hofmann%nrl-css.arpa@NRL-CSS.ARPA
Subject: FORTEAN PARADOXES EXPLAINED
To: subgenius@MEDIA-LAB.MEDIA.MIT.EDU

  A message from the son of "bob" who resides in heaven and sits at the right
fist of jhvh.  

Greeting superior mutants.

  I am that which spoke through Seth.  I am the sea serpent that reared its
head in John's dream.  I am the lake monster.  I am the unknown aqautic animal.
I wrote the Voynich Manuscript and even then i knew it would be a red herring
for cryptographers.  I manned the barisal guns.  I cause the ringing in your
ears.  Have you heard the bells?  I pioneered the unrecognized civilizations of
ancient America.  I throw down rocks and strange artificial objects from the
sky.  I switch on the ghost lights and play toss with jhvh-i with balls of
lightening.  It is I who cause those unexplained disappearances of planes,
ships and crews in the Bermuda Pentangle.  I have perpepuated every scientific
hoax including Einstein's con-job and the Edison fraud.  It is I alone who know
who the earliest man in america was.  when I blink living humans spontaneously
combust.  I cause dead people to appear and vanish.  I made Toco laugh to
death.  I am the phantom assassin.  I am the phantom butcher.  I cause animals
to appear in the heretofornow from other places and other times.  I was the
first man to mate with an elephant.  I am bigfoot.  I am the abominable
snowman.  Some call me the Wild Man and they call my cult the Wild Men.  My
father was the original satyr mummy.  I have sired many wolf children.  Where I
walk I leave the devil's hoofmarks.  I control all vampires.  I officiate at
every voodoo ritual.  My shadow causes ghosts and the air I displace causes
poltergeists.  I have talked with the fabulous trees and tasted the flying
fruit.  I fostered all ancient technolgies.  I am the ufo.  I am the uso.  My
dingleberries are often mistaken for strange balls of light.  I know the P.O.
box of all 23 of the surviving dinosaurs living on the surface of earth.  I
have tea with the only surviving petersaur (Merlyn).  I fuck nimble mermaids
off the coast of New Zealand.  I am the half-father of all black dogs.  The
squirrel kings bow to me.  My uncle is the phantom clown and my nephews are the
little green men.  I have fornicated on all of man's metaliths and inside all
their stone circles.  The mysterious panther is my best friend and the
mysterious mountain lion brings me my paper every morning.  The crystal skull
is in fact my skull.  I have carved mysterious and scary caverns and mountains
and deserts in the strangest places.  I cause statues in Latin America to cry
in my prescense and olive-skinned maidens have unusual visions about me.  The
Vulture of Light has dipped his BEAK into my darkess.  I own the keys to the
cities under the sea.  I know the correlation factor between earthquakes and
aerial phenomena.  From my brow springs icy meteorites.  I knew the first
spaceman to visit earth and i smoked with that man.  I cause strange voices to
be heard on tape recordings.  I am the new interpretation of the ancient
legends.  The Nezca plain figures have all eaten from my hand.  I scoff at the
Tulli papyrus.  And within every photograph in every cheezy coffeetable book, I
have imprinted my image.  The surgeon general has warned you about me.  

Tax Free Donations to POB 1067, Oxon Hill, MD 20745.

((Rev. Stucco Toast has seen the light and will receive 
  initation papers shortly. ))


[this originally came to me in all UPPERCASE, which I cannot tolerate.  Hence,
 the casification is my own]

-- 

======================================================================8--<