HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: Attention Advice Givers (ie HELP)
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 92 17:17:24 GMT

In article <1992Nov11.125118.1@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au> s206001@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au writes:
>In article <7NOV199217534560@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov>, casey@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov (Sean Casey GSFC (301)286-4558) writes:
>> In article <0096340D.A302FE60@Msu.oscs.montana.edu>, oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes...
>>>In article <1992Nov4.230117.27270@jetsun.weitek.COM>, weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
>>>>In article <Bx6F6q.n4J@news.cso.uiuc.edu> jlamb@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Jeffrey Richard Lamb) writes:
>Jeffrey:"Situation : Ok I met this girl over the net.The point : What I need 
>help with is this. 1) Do I try to "push" the relationship?" 
>
>Weaver answers:"A relationship is not a car. You don't steer it, you lead it. 
>You should have an idea of which direction you want the relationship to go so 
>that you can gently nudge it that way."
>
>Cheryl replies:"I love all these verbs;  relationships are not to be "pushed,"
>"steering,""floating," "leading," and "nudging."  Just what are we trying to 
>accomplish?  Whatever happened to letting Nature take its course?"
>
>And the man of the moment, Sean (get his other foot and shove it in his mouth
>writes): 
>> Isn't this the difference between men and women. Men are entrusted with 
>> the responsibility of taking charge in a relationship. In particular,
>> it's men that always (ah, mostly) make the first move. Women, on the other
>> hand, assume a passive role and take or refuse offers as they come.
>> I don't think nature has a course in regard to relationships. It's
>> only from the female perspective that "pushing" and "nudging" seem
>> un-unatural. 
>
>Okay so I'm a new comer to this but I couldn't let this go by without my $0.02.
>Jeffrey don't push I agree that you should try to steer toward your objective
>and if it happens it will in time patience is its own reward they say..
>Yes nature is meant to do this and it does but nature is the attraction and the
>actions to respond are your own.
>Now I don't agree with Sean at all that nature is letting men take all the
>initiative or rather that they have to take charge.  A relationship in the
>making is not necessarily a military campaign, sure it requires careful
>planning and strategy and perhaps a little encouragement but from BOTH parties
>concerned.  Isn't that the whole gist of a relationship?!!  If a relationship
>in your eyes is one sided then there isn't much of one to my way of thinking. 
>This female does not see 'pushing' and 'nudging' as unnatural but rather as
>tactless, I tend to prefer subtlety as opposed to being railroaded...
>Appreciation and romance have that subtlety and gain cooperation in achieving a
>successful relationship.  None of this "lie back and be passive"!!! ;)
>
>I have no .sig yet but I like some I've seen.  My apologies in advance for any
>misunderstandings if they arise.
>Irene.


Xref: sparky alt.romance:13868 alt.personals:21995
From: icero104@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.personals
Subject: Re: WANTED: REWARD OFFERED
Date: 10 Nov 92 23:55:25 GMT
Reply-To: icero104@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University

8In article hhamid@nyx.cs.du.edu (hassan  hamid) writes:
8>If you are a woman aged 17-24, 5'4"-5'9" tall, with beautiful eyes, good
8>figure, pretty face, and a blonde or brunnete with softly permed hair,
8>then let me KNOW THAT YOU EXIST AND ARE READING THIS MESSAGE. I LOVE YOU.
8>HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
8>---HASSAN.

	Isn't this the same guy that conjectured that beautiful (or whatever
terminology) women have better things to do with their time than reading ap? 
Well, good luck....
								td
							(a 22y/y 5'8" female
							who reads ap)
							(and rarely posts)
From: bushmanangel@bvc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: LDR Contest!
Date: 8 Nov 92 17:04:39 CDT
Organization: Buena Vista College, Storm Lake, IA

In article <scott.721024345@ssvs.gsfc.nasa.gov>, scott@ssvs.gsfc.nasa.gov (Tom Scott) writes:
> I'm more a reader than a writer, but here's a quick start for a thread:
> Who's got the longest? (Oops, obsede', that sounds like alt.sex material


Well, I haven't got anyone "beat" yet with Jared only a thousand miles away 
in Athens, Georgia since early September (only 180 miles away during the 
summer), but we're planning on sticking it out through his 3 years of grad 
school and then a year of studying in London . . . I'll be in Colorado from 
next January through May, but don't know where after that.  Anyone have any 
great communication (PR, corporate stuff, events) jobs available in 
Georgia?

Angela
From: mvb@po.CWRU.Edu (Michael V. Barreca)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: LDR Contest!
Date: 7 Nov 1992 14:04:58 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: mvb@po.CWRU.Edu (Michael V. Barreca)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc12.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, scott@ssvs.gsfc.nasa.gov (Tom Scott) says:

>I'm more a reader than a writer, but here's a quick start for a thread:
>Who's got the longest? (Oops, obsede', that sounds like alt.sex material)
>
>Some lines I've noticed since finding a.r:
>mvb@po.CWRU.Edu (Michael V. Barreca) says:
>>Great, now I'm depressed. (my girlfriend lives 300 miles away)

Hey, that's me!!!!  Neat!!!


>stuarta@syd.dms.csiro.au (Stuart Andrews) says:
>>She live in Melbourne, Australia, and I in Sydney, Australia
>>A separation of some 750 kilimetres. If that isn't a LDR,
>>nothing is :-)
>So who of us has the longest long-distance-romance?  In my case, I'm in D.C.
>while my SO is in Paris.  Oui, that's like 5,000 miles.  (Maybe I'll post a
>bit of my story, esp since the waiting will soon be over).
>Oh yea, if anyone wants to start listing lengths of waits? She left the U.S.
>on January 24th.
>
>Romantics must love a touch of pain...
>
No klidding.  I don't think that mine is the longest-distance romance, just
looking at the other ones on this message.  But it can definitely qualify as
one of the longest distance relationships.

We have been dating for over seven months, now, and the most time we have 
spent together at once is about five days.  Usually it's a weekend when one
of us visits from school.  Neither one of us has a car, so if we go to visit
the other, we either have to get a ride with someone who is driving from
Miami University to Cleveland(or vice versa), or ride the Greyhound(meaning
that the other person has to get someone to drive them to the station to 
pick us up).  I happened to be lucky enough to visit her for three weekends
in a row, ending Oct. 25th.  I won't see her again until Nov. 24th for five
days, then not again after that until Dec. 27th.

I guess I'm just learning to pack a few weeks worth of romance and love into
a few days.  :)

Mike, who has this bad habit of writing about his girlfriend, only to make
himself a little depressed that he can't see her that often.


-- 
Planet Bog - Pools of toxic chemicals bubble under a choking atmosphere of
	poisonous gases.
But aside from that, it's not much like Earth.
			Spaceman Spiff - The Authoritative Calvin & Hobbes
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett)
Subject: Easy come . . .
Organization: University of Hawaii, Dept. of Electrical Engineering
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 00:15:33 GMT


Why does it seem to be easier to develop relationships with either younger
or older persons of the opposite sex than your own age?

And why or why is is easier to fall into relationships with married people 
rather than single ones?

Or am I alone in this perplexity?

dB

"The more desparate you are, the more harder by far"

or

"I gotta quit this tom foolery and take up wood working"

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: hunsts@cary115.its.rpi.edu (Scott N Hunstad)
Subject: Re: LDR Contest!
Keywords: LDR future fate forever
Reply-To: hunsts@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 16:16:21 GMT

NY to Sydney Australia     *sigh*
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: pablo@eye1.cognet.ucla.edu (Pablo Lapuerta)
Subject: Re: What kind of flowers?
Reply-To: pablo@cognet.ucla.edu
Organization: UCLA Cognitive Science Research Program
Distribution: ca
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 17:42:40 GMT

In article <1992Nov11.065744.14161@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu>  writes:
> A female friend is having her 21st birthday soon, and I've decided to
> send her flowers.  Now, I know red roses mean love, and white  
friendship,
> but there are more -- does anyone out there know the rest?  She knows
> deep down I'm crazy about her, so if I send her all red roses she won't
> freak out or anything, but I'd like to mix other colors or flowers in
> so the flowers would be more personal and interesting.  Cost won't
> be a factor, but she's not the type who'd be impressed by price-tags.
> 
> Any suggestions?
> 

Just don't send chrysanthemums.  Since they're beautiful every once in a  
while I see someone make the mistake of sending them.  They're  
traditionally used for funerals.

Pablo
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Date: 5 Nov 92 23:35:08 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <Bx8FBB.D32@news.cso.uiuc.edu> bzb47596@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Phaedrus) writes:
>Kyle,
>you bring up an interesting point, i too have been flirted with and only found
>out about it later.  sometimes it was things i should have picked up on, but
>most of the time it was things i don't think i would EVER have interpreted as
>advances, even if i was attracted to the person.   sometimes, i never even
>found out EXACTLY what the other person was doing as far as flirting.  this
>all, of course, makes it hard for me to realize when someone IS interested,
>when they MIGHT be interested, and how to get across the fact that I AM
>interested.
>
If you didn't know your were being flirted with, then the other person
was not doing a very good job. If you are flirting with someone and
they are not responding, you should either get more obvious or give up.
The idea is to get into the area between being too subtle and being too
obvious, and you have to watch your partner to figure out how obvious
you have to be. But flirting really isn't a way to signal interest in
someone, it is a way to temporarily get their attention, for whatever
reason.

But perhaps what you are describing isn't flirting at all. If you are
talking about hinting, in my experience, it is a bad idea to rely on
hints, either as sender or as a receiver. There is just too much room
for misunderstanding. In fact, I would argue that you shouldn't be
worried about whether someone is interested in you, but rather you
should be finding out if they are ready and willing to get involved
with you. You can find this out by showing you are interested in them,
starting out subtlely and slowly becoming more obvious until you get
some resistance. When you get some resistance, you know how comfortable
they are with you right now. Relationships develop over time, so you
shouldn't worry if they aren't crazy about you at first.

As for how to show you are interested, it really is easy if you are
interested in her. The tricky part is that you have to show that you
are interested in *her* and not just shopping for a girlfriend or
whatever. Show you are interested by spending time on her, talking to
her, asking her questions about herself, and so on. Showing her you are
interested in her and not just shopping for a girlfriend involves
gaining some trust from her that you are sincere, which takes time.

Good Luck,
Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: Rob_Tan@kcbbs.gen.nz (Rob Tan)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Bits & Pieces..
Date: 5 Nov 92 17:09:58 GMT
Organization: Kappa Crucis Unix BBS, Auckland, New Zealand

Thanx for all the replies of my post of a few weeks back. Things haven't 
changed much for my friend & they haven't worked out for me.. but thanx 
all the same..
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: fsquared@eff.org (Fawn Fitter)
Subject: Re: letters, opinions, women, romance
Originator: fsquared@eff.org
Organization: The Electronic Frontier Foundation
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 21:35:47 GMT

I talk to my best friend every week, but I also deluge him with letters (I'm
a writer, so slapping out a letter is as natural as breathing to me).  He
loves them.  In fact, for my last birthday, he presented me with a typeset,
bound collection of excerpts from my letters to him over the last 3 years.  

Phone calls are great for immediacy.  But letters are permanent.
Xref: sparky alt.romance:13975 soc.singles:30613
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 13 Nov 92 17:46:00 GMT
Article-I.D.: jetsun.1992Nov13.174600.19675
Distribution: usa
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Nov12.022755.17214@microsoft.com> allanl@microsoft.com (Allan Lockridge) writes:
>What is the longest period of time between boyfriend/girlfriend?
>Basically, I am interested in what is considered a normal length
>of time after one breaks up to when a new boy/girlfriend is found.
>
I don't think there is a meaningful answer to that question. 
Some people want to always have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and
so as soon as they are feeling over the breakup, they go to 
work to find another. Other people (like myself) go through
slack periods in which even though they aren't attached, they
aren't really looking either. 

There is a general opinion that the breakup of a serious relationship
takes six months or a year to get over, but that is more like a 
minimum time between relationships, not a maximum.

Michael.
From: heerdege@gandalf.rutgers.edu (Juergen Heerdegen)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: there're these girls i'm interested in...
Date: 7 Nov 92 05:35:14 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

Alright, there are these girls I think are hells cute.  Two of them live
in my dorm and one of them is in a class of mine.  Problem is, I've never
met them before, only kinda "seen 'em around."  What's a good way to approach
a girl you've never talked to before?  Does "Hi, I've seen you around and I'm 
interested in you, so's how about going out with me?" actually work?  Or am
I grasping at straws because I'm sure opening lines are pretty much dependent
on the parties in question.

Some thoughts please...
From: lls@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Lori Smallwood)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Songs about Lori ?
Date: 5 Nov 92 23:04:20 GMT
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.

In article <1992Nov5.161217.680@njitgw.njit.edu> lcm1501@hertz.njit.edu (Lawrence C. Mc Abee) writes:
>
>	Hello romantics.  Since I am in love with a woman named Lori, I would
> appreciate it if any people out there could clue me into any songs about Lori.
> E-mail to lcm1501@hertz.njit.edu any relevant information.
>
>			Thanks.

Oo!  Email them to me, too!  :-)

-- Lori
From: bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Childish Guys
Date: 5 Nov 1992 03:13:28 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley, CS Undergraduate Association
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu

See emily's post (forgot to quote)...
So, when is a person supposed to be serious when he/she is normally/
naturally non-serious?  For example, most of my friends seem to like
me because I always seem to take things non-seriously (seem is the
key word here)  I'm generally the happy-go-lucky type, though some
things taht are serious do 'hit' me as being serious.  However, is 
there really a way to gauge when to be serious and when to be normal?
As the original poster asked (I think it was his qwuestion) is there
some way of knowing when to be serious wihtout seeming fake?
Thanks

-- 
----------------------------------------------------------------
Billy H. Chan 	<bhchan@ocf.berkeley.edu>   "Life: a strange new
Just Babbling   <bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu>   state of confusion"
Disclaimer 1:   I'm actually a really nice person. (sorta) :) ;)
From: anonymous
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: soc.singles alt.sex
Date: 5 Nov 92 02:15:14 GMT
Organization: xylogics.com

Subject: Re: Monogamy, Polygamy, and raising children (Was: Falling in Love

In article <1992Nov2.212844.11226@umr.edu> asparrow@mcs213f.cs.umr.edu (Angelia Sparrow) writes:
>
>According to a study done by NIMH, this is not true.
>Children of divorced parents have a 5 times higher risk of
[...]

This is not a valid point to raise -- it should be obvious to the most casual
observer that parents who get divorced are many more times likely to have
experienced marital discord than those who do not.  It should also be obvious
that this discord is much more likely to affect the children through a direct
mechanism than is the divorce itself through some proposed (but as yet
undiscovered) mechanism.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: Re: Attention Advice Givers (ie HELP)
Reply-To: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 17:12:48 GMT

In article <1992Nov4.230117.27270@jetsun.weitek.COM>, weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
>In article <Bx6F6q.n4J@news.cso.uiuc.edu> jlamb@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Jeffrey Richard Lamb) writes:
>>
>>Situation : Ok I met this girl over the net. 
>....
>>
>>The point : What I need help with is this. 
>>	1) Do I try to "push" the relationship? 
>>
>No. The only pushing you should do is to get her to spend more time
>with you, and this should be gentle. Any more pushing will raise her
>resistance to you and so be counterproductive.
>
>>                                                Do I want to try to
>>steer the relationship toward what I want from it or do I let it float?
>>
>A relationship is not a car. You don't steer it, you lead it. You should
>have an idea of which direction you want the relationship to go so that
>you can gently nudge it that way.
>
I love all these verbs;  relationships are not to be "pushed," "steering,"
"floating," "leading," and "nudging."  Just what are we trying to accomplish?

Whatever happened to letting Nature take its course?

Cheryl
From: s335024@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re : Please help me find a poem...
Date: 6 Nov 92 10:06:47 GMT

To Geoffrey & Kezz... THE POEM...

Men

They say they really love you,
But they never really do,
They say you are the one and only,
But it's never really true,
They say you'll be together forever and a day,
But somehow things don't seem to quite work out this way....

	**********************

It all started not long ago,
It's so sweet I want to throw,
It started here with a poem,
And the seeds of love were sown.

Still it flourishes in the light,
They've flown so high they're out of sight,
It seems that this is meant to be,
Long distance love must be the key.

They talk on the phone for hours on end,
And their pictures they did send,
Long, long letters arrive each day,
Including a postcard from Byron Bay.

With sand under the stamp for proof,
Her spirit's so high it hits the roof,
Smelly letters, and gifts they send,
Their love has sent them around the bend.

Good luck in love and life,
Let's see if she becomes your wife,
Then if she has your kids,
You guys could have your own 'Tin Lids'.



**GARF** (wink wink, nudge nudge...) <squint>
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: The virtues of internet
Date: 10 Nov 92 23:24:00 GMT
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II

In article <BxH29D.FI8@ra.nrl.navy.mil> feirtag@i5120b.nrl.navy.mil (Fred Feirtag) writes:
>I think it's amazing how repressed and inhibited many people are, myself
>included.  I've always had a certain admiration for people who can curse
>fluently and without inhibition.  Screw the "socialization" which crushes
>our spirits as we grow up to be adults!

This is one of the signs I look for when I'm determining if someone is right
for me - how inhibited I feel around him. It's been a good indicator that if
I am comfortable being myself, rather than having to be "socialized" or 
whatever, that this is a person with whom there is a good chance of things
working out. (Note: that doesn't mean impolite or insensitive. Just not hung
up about things.)

-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: scott@ssvs.gsfc.nasa.gov (Tom Scott)
Subject: LDR Contest!
Summary: Who's got the longest?
Keywords: LDR future fate forever
Organization: Goddard Space Flight Center
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 04:32:25 GMT

I'm more a reader than a writer, but here's a quick start for a thread:
Who's got the longest? (Oops, obsede', that sounds like alt.sex material)

Some lines I've noticed since finding a.r:
mvb@po.CWRU.Edu (Michael V. Barreca) says:
>Great, now I'm depressed. (my girlfriend lives 300 miles away)
stuarta@syd.dms.csiro.au (Stuart Andrews) says:
>She live in Melbourne, Australia, and I in Sydney, Australia
>A separation of some 750 kilimetres. If that isn't a LDR,
>nothing is :-)
So who of us has the longest long-distance-romance?  In my case, I'm in D.C.
while my SO is in Paris.  Oui, that's like 5,000 miles.  (Maybe I'll post a
bit of my story, esp since the waiting will soon be over).
Oh yea, if anyone wants to start listing lengths of waits? She left the U.S.
on January 24th.

Romantics must love a touch of pain...
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: pablo@eye1.cognet.ucla.edu (Pablo Lapuerta)
Subject: Re: LDR Contest!
Reply-To: pablo@cognet.ucla.edu
Organization: UCLA Cognitive Science Research Program
Distribution: ca
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 20:43:11 GMT

In article <scott.721024345@ssvs.gsfc.nasa.gov> scott@ssvs.gsfc.nasa.gov  
(Tom Scott) writes:
> I'm more a reader than a writer, but here's a quick start for a thread:
> Who's got the longest? (Oops, obsede', that sounds like alt.sex  
material)
> 
> Some lines I've noticed since finding a.r:
> mvb@po.CWRU.Edu (Michael V. Barreca) says:
> >Great, now I'm depressed. (my girlfriend lives 300 miles away)
> stuarta@syd.dms.csiro.au (Stuart Andrews) says:
> >She live in Melbourne, Australia, and I in Sydney, Australia
> >A separation of some 750 kilimetres. If that isn't a LDR,
> >nothing is :-)
> So who of us has the longest long-distance-romance?  In my case, I'm in  
D.C.
> while my SO is in Paris.  Oui, that's like 5,000 miles.  (Maybe I'll  
post a
> bit of my story, esp since the waiting will soon be over).
> Oh yea, if anyone wants to start listing lengths of waits? She left the  
U.S.
> on January 24th.
> 
> Romantics must love a touch of pain...

I live in Los Angeles, and have a SO in Germany.  Do I win the contest?  I  
don't know what to make of the relationship-- it seems so impractical.
From: lcm1501@hertz.njit.edu (Lawrence C. Mc Abee)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Songs about Lori ?
Date: 5 Nov 92 16:12:17 GMT
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.


	Hello romantics.  Since I am in love with a woman named Lori, I would
 appreciate it if any people out there could clue me into any songs about Lori.
 E-mail to lcm1501@hertz.njit.edu any relevant information.

			Thanks.


-- 
         "When you have eliminated the possible, whatever remains, 
         however improbable, must be the TRUTH !" Sherlock Holmes.
	 (The opinions expressed herein are mine, and not NJITs)	
Newsgroups: alt.romance