HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: lahaye@reg.triumf.ca (RAYMOND GABIN , TRIUMF OPERATIONS)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: American Joke (was Re: Polack joke ?)
Date: 26 Aug 92 17:59:00 GMT
Organization: TRIUMF: Tri-University Meson Facility
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <BtLGou.4rv@ireq.hydro.qc.ca>, beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca (Denis Beauregard) writes...
>In article <173socINN86j@uk-news.UK.Sun.COM> eddie@marmite.UK.Sun.COM writes:
>>PS..anyone know any good American jokes..? ( Just kidding..!  ;-)     )
> 
>An American was visiting Montreal this summer.
> 
>He passes in front of Place Ville-Marie with his host.  
>Host : This is a building we are proud of it.  It was among the first
>big buildings of Montreal.
>American : Beautiful, but we have some 3 times higher in Chicago and
>New York.
>Host : But they took years to build it and it is cross-shaped.
>American : Last month, my company built a small building like that in
>a month!
> 
>So, they continue.  They visit the Montreal Beach.
>Host : This is almost unique : a Beach within the city limits of a
>one million people town.  You don't have things like that, don't you?
>American : Well, indeed, we have some very large indoor pools bigger
>than that.  I know that, my company built one in L.A. last year.
>A good 2 weeks contract, I must say.
> 
>Finally, they arrive besides the Olympic Stadium.
>American : What is that?
>Host : I just don't know.  It wasn't there this morning
.. I guess it just fell out!
From: bill@AEC.MsState.Edu (bill balcerzak)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny sign
Keywords: lime pie, note speaker, monk
Date: 27 Aug 92 17:19:16 GMT
Organization: Mississippi State University, Department of Agricultural Economics:  Geographic Information Systems

In article ngsw@hpsgm2.sgp.hp.com (Ng Soon Wei) writes:
>
>A sign found in front of a urinal in the toilet of a hotel says :-
>
>WE AIM TO PLEASE; YOU AIM TOO, PLEASE !

A (serious) sign in the stalls of the women's restroom (now what was *he* 
doing in the women's restroom) here at work:

If you sprinkle
When you tinkle
Please be neat
And wipe the seat.
-- 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This program posts news to thousands of machines throughout the entire
civilized world. Are you absolutely sure that you want to do this? [ny]
Oh, I'm sooo scared.	 	  		   bill@aec.msstate.edu
From: kyrie@coos.dartmouth.edu (Thomas S. Marlowe)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Matt Cheyney is a dork (was Re: STAR TREK PRANKS)
Date: 26 Aug 92 01:54:00 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH

Matthew.J.Cheyney@dartmouth.edu (Matthew J. Cheyney) writes:

>Thomas Marlowe writes:

>>Hey there Matt.  How are you doing?
>>I figured you would respond to the Star Trek
>>post with that stupid shit about Wesley Crusher
>>getting it in the end.
>>

Gees.  I thought I was being especially nice to you.
No reason to get nasty on me ... (see following)

>TSM, aka Thomas "Here kitty, kitty, daddy's got a big, throbbing
>surprise for you" Marlowe

A bat?  Hey.  What teh ASPCA doesn't know won't hurt them.
Besides, the market must make up for a recent upsurge in 
the demand for labratory research animals :-)

>     For those of you who don't know him, Thomas Marlowe is single
>handedly responsible for the nasty ouytbreak of VD among barnyard
>animals in the greater chicago area,

single-handedly?  You give me too much credit.   Certainly you don't htink
I am strong enough to hold down a hissing feline with one hand, do you?

 and is thought to be somehow
>responsible for the first case of feline Herpes, but other than that
>he's an ok guy, as long as you don't have pets, or sleep on your
>

hey.  You are the one who told me that sick joke:

Here goes for you new listeners:
"Thomas ... if you went on a camping trip with a friend and
the next morning you woke up with vaseline on your ass and your pants
were pulled down, would you tell anyone?"
"Yick!  That's digusting, Matt!  I don't think I would tell anyone."
"So, Tom ... you want to go camping?"  ;)

> What have you been up to for the summer?

Went to Santa Cruz.  It was beautiful.  Have a great tan.  Feel
wonderful.  <How was New York City?  :-P

  As for writing back, that
>would require you writing to me in the first place, you dumb shit. 
>

Are you telling me that you did not get a copy of American Psycho in 
the mail?  I mailed it to you about 9 weeks ago.  (Not a joke.)

>See you in the Fall, Thom.  BTW, when will you be getting back to
>campus?

I will be back in about 3-4 weeks after I finish writing my book ...
yeah right.


>-Matthew Cheyney


Thomas "there is no such thing as wasted bandwidth on rec.humor" Marlowe


--
"Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice, and that when
they fail to do this they become dangerously structured dams that block
the flow of social progress." -  Martin Luther King, Jr
------------------>Thomas.S.Marlowe@Dartmouth.edu<-----------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 21:55:10 GMT


>
>I dare you to cross post this to soc.culture.usa
                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hah Ha Ha ha, get it! get it!  soc.culture.usa !!!!
get it yet!
               culture in the US of A, ha ha ha what a joke!!!!
This is Hilarious

>
>Joe

-ara


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mcvey@mpr.ca (Iain McVey)
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Organization: MPR Teltech Ltd., Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 18:44:55 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.164326.18511@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>
>I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
>a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
>willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
>but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.

I wasn't expecting the spanish inquisition...


- Iain -
-- 
Iain McVey (mcvey@mpr.ca)    | Kodachrome, gives us those nice, bright colours,
Software Designer            | Gives the greens of summers,
MPR Teltech Ltd.             | Makes you think all the world's a sunny day.
8999 Nelson Way, Burnaby, BC | - Paul Simon
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
From: marek@mel.dit.csiro.au (Marek T. Michalewicz)
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Organization: CSIRO DIT (Melb.)
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 92 04:29:20 GMT


In article <1992Aug27.224020.29556@unislc.uucp>, miket@unislc.uucp (Michael Thompson) writes:
|> 
|> <Stuff deleted>
|> 
|> pick the BBs out one at a time.  After several minutes, and realizing what
|> that looked like a BB.  That is strange, she replied, then continued to watch 
|> into the water.  When I looked, there were little BBs in the bottom of the 
|> bathroom and passed some BBs right?  Lord No!, he replied, worse than that;
|> Cheers!
|> Mike Thompson                 |    It's true, forgiveness IS easier
|> Unisys UNIX Systems Group     |    to get than permission. ;-) 

Cheers Mike,

And what exactly BB's are?  ;^)

Marek

--
*  Dr Marek T. Michalewicz                                                    *
*  Supercomputing Support Group, Division of Information Technology, CSIRO    *
*  723 Swanston Street, Carlton, Victoria 3053, Australia                     *
*  *tel: +61 3 282 2621 *Fax: +61 3 282 2600  *e-mail: marek@mel.dit.csiro.au *
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dp35@mc1adm.UWaterloo.ca (Greg Moore)
Subject: Make fun of others!
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 17:31:32 GMT

varvel@plains.NoDak.edu (Andrew Varvel) writes:
>
>So why not just post a joke that pokes fun at allosaurs or Hittites?

A girl walked in to a bar at chest height.  I think it was Hittities.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jon@zeus.med.utah.edu (Jonathan Byrd)
Subject: Re: Human DNA Code
Organization: University of Utah
Date: 26 Aug 92 17:46:51

In article <1992Aug26.172436.4496@microsoft.com> erikm@microsoft.com (Erik Madsen) writes:


   [original author unk.]

this article was written by mathew@mantis.co.uk.  originally titled
"Human Genome Project," it was posted to talk.bizarre on 6 may 1991.

perhaps eric is not responsible for the omission of the true author's
name.  whatever the case, i find it damned annoying that people will
go to the trouble of saving a long article, but by some strange
circumstance omit the author's name.  credit where credit is due.

--
jonathan byrd
jon@apollo.med.utah.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 16:54:44 GMT


Three priests go up to an airline ticket counter.  Behind the counter
is a woman with huge breasts and a low cut dress.  Embarrassed and
flustered, the first priest says "I'd like three tickets to Tittsburgh".
The second priest says "I want three tickets to Pittsburgh, and I'd
like my change in nipples and dimes."  The third priest says "give us
three tickets to Pittsburgh, I'd like my change in nickels and dimes,
and another thing young lady, if Saint Finger were here, he'd be
pointing his peter at you".

    Yeah, I know, you've heard it before.

Guy is in bed with a woman, she hears a noise and says "quick, get
out of here, it's my husband".  So he runs out of the back door wearing
nothing but his tennis shoes and a rubber.  It was raining.  He gets
to the street, wondering what to do, when a group of joggers runs by.
He joins the joggers.  No one says anything for a mile or two, then
a jogger asks, "excuse me sir, do you always jog in the nude"?  He
replies "yes, it gives me a feeling of freedom".  They jog on in the
rain for another mile, then another jogger asks "do you always wear a
rubber when you jog"?  He replies "only when it rains".

  I know it's not funny, but what the hell, this is rec.humor.

Newlywed guy in bed with his wife, he asks "you ever done it with anybody
else"?  She says, "yeah, once before with Arnold Palmer".  Then she
proceeds to grind him down about 5 times in a row, and still wants
some more.  He gets out of bed and picks up the phone.  "Who you
calling?"  "I'm calling Arnold Palmer to find out what's par for
this hole".

    So sue me.
From: kml@cellar.org (John Galt)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 1 Sep 92 13:30:10 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system


Three Japanese guys are killed one day while playing golf.  Their cart 
goes over a cliff and they are smashed on the shore below.  They find 
themselves at the gates of Heaven, and are greeted by Saint Peter.
"What the hell are you doing here?" asks Peter.  "You're Shinto."

"Well, we're here already; can we just come in, since we already made the
trip?" they ask.

Peter isn't sure, so he tries to contact God.  But it's a weekend, so God
doesn't pick up the phone, and Peter has to beep him.  When He gets back
to Peter, he tells him to ask them a simple question about Christianity.
if they get it, they can come in.

Peter turns to the first Japanese guy.  "Tell me about Easter." he says.

The first says, "Ah, Easter.  Everybody happy.  Everybody together.  Big
family.  Rots of presents, big tree, colored lights.  Easter."

Peter sighs and turns to the second guy.  "Tell me about Easter," he says.

The second guy says, "Ah, Easter.  Everybody happy.  Family together.
Fireworks.  Bands play.  Picnics together.  Red, white, and blue.  Easter."

Peter sighs agains and turns to the last guy.  "Tell me about Easter," he 
says.

The third guy says, "Ah, Easter.  Everybody sad.  Jesus, die on cross.
Then, three days later, everybody happy.  Everybody together.  Jesus,
rise from dead.  Sees his shadow, six more weeks of winter!"




Note: the message you are about to post will be sent to thousands of machines
and will be read by thousands, if not tens of thousands of people worldwide.
Be sure you know what you are doing.

Never stopped me before.

  kml%cellar@tredysvr.tredydev.unisys.com - My other account is a Mercedes.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ins272u@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (Geoff Green)
Subject: Re: nursery rhymes
Organization: Monash University
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 01:08:12 GMT

Jeremy C. Holtgrave (jholtgra@afit.af.mil) wrote:
: Little Miss Muffett
: Sat on her tuffett
: Drinking her gasoline.
: 
: Along came a spider
: With a little Cricket Lighter
: And blew her to smithereens.
: 

How about:-

Little Miss Muffett
Sat on her tuffett
Eating her Irish Stew.
Along came a spider
who sat down beside her
so she ate him too.

Geoff.
--
Geoff Green.
Snail Mail :-			E-Mail :-
~~~~~~~~~~		        ~~~~~~
4/8 Dennis st,			ins272u@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au
Clayton Victoria,		ins272u@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au
Australia.  3861.		greenie@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
(03) 562 9849.
#include <std_disclamer.h>
#include <witty_quote.h>
From: jim.heil@cutting.hou.tx.us (Jim Heil) 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Ethinc vs. anti-ethnic jo
Date: 28 Aug 92 23:35:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: The Cutting Edge - Houston, TX - 713-466-1525
Reply-To: jim.heil@cutting.hou.tx.us (Jim Heil) 

MB>Newsgroups: rec.humor
MB>From: matthew@maths.uwa.oz.au (Matthew Blasikiewicz)
MB>Subject: Ethinc vs. anti-ethnic jokes
MB>Organization: University of Western Australia
MB>Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 07:55:07 GMT

MB>[I am posting this article for W.Holsztynski. MB]


I've seen all of the "jokes" mentioned in your note attributed to many
different groups. I don't believe any offense was intended, however,
some was obviously taken.  Lighten up -- and laugh....
---
 . OLX 2.2 . TAKE YOU TIME AND HURRY UP !!!!
  
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pfreed@rp.CSIRO.AU ()
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Organization: CSIRO Division of Radiophysics/Australia Telescope National Facility
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 01:01:01 GMT

In article <1992Sep3.021052.4548@wam.umd.edu>, ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect) writes:
> >  If, as the Christians say, we are all created in God's image,
> >then the very existance of this newsgroup proves that God has
> >a sense of humor.
> >
> >  You don't believe me? Check out the Duck Billed Platypus. God was
> >no doubt rolling with laughter when Charles Darwin finally saw one.
> 
> What I want to know is, who the hell came up with the name Platypus
> 
> I mean Kangaroo, ok, its supposed to mean "I dont know" or something
> to that effect in Aboriginy, but Platypus?  It shure wasn't the
> Aboriginys who came up with that name.  Any Auzzies want to clear this
> up?  If there are any Aboriginys on the net, what is Platypus called
> in your language anyway.
> 
> If I discovered a new animal I certainly would not call it Platypus!
> 
	I don't know how it got its name, but the word
	has been fertile grounds for aussie comedians who 
	like to discuss vaginal hair-styling as part of
	their act	

> -ara
> 

-- 
Peter Freed		| As PIL would say : 
CSIRO Div. Radiophysics	| "This is not a signature file"
Signal & Imaging.	| The surgeon general warns that copying this
868 0498		| signature is detrimental bla bla bla
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: shankar@sgi.com (Shankar Unni)
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 19:45:25 GMT

In article <29AUG92.19393201@vax.clarku.edu> wcox@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>In a previous article, marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) wrote:

>>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
>>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.
>> 
>Well, because some christians have a sense of humor, and maybe the rest of us 
>heathens do as well?

It is almost axiomatic that the most humorless people are either
flaming right-wingers or flaming left-wingers. Fanaticism is the great
destroyer of humor.

ObJoke:
---- end of file ----

--
Shankar Unni				E-Mail:	shankar@sgi.com
Silicon Graphics Inc.			Phone:	+1-415-390-2072
From: tweaver@hobbes.kzoo.edu (Tim Weaver)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Fun with cats
Date: 27 Aug 92 14:11:52 GMT
Organization: Kalamazoo College


>Here's an old joke:
>
>How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
>Pour gasoline on him and light a match, Woof!
>
How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
Dip it in liquid nitrogen to freeze it solid and take a chainsaw to it...
MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
-- 
|Timothy E. Weaver           | Kalamazoo College  |  (616) 383-5656        |
|Database Programmer/Analyst | 1200 Academy       | These are MY opinions! |
|email:  tweaver@kzoo.edu    | Kalamazoo MI 49006 | Mine!!  Mine!!  Mine!! |
+----------------------------+--------------------+------------------------+
From: lipscomb@lonestar.utsa.edu (David S. Lipscomb)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: ha 7
Date: 1 Sep 92 13:49:13 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio

This was taken from 'THE NON-VIOLENT MAD' 1972.  Written by Larry Siegel.
                       THE MAD AIR TRAVEL PRIMER


                                 CHAPTER SEVEN
                             THE AIR SICKNESS BAG

See the nice passengers.
See them reach for their air sickness bags.
They are violently ill.
Choke, gagg, urrrp.
Have they just eaten that nice airline food?
No.
Is the plane flying through a storm?
No.
Is it a bumpy flight?
No.
Then why are all the nice passengers sick?
Sick, sick, sick.
Oh, oh! Look up at the movie screen.
Now we know.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
From: HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: License Plates (WAS:Re: ASCII ART REPOST FROM SEPT 1990 (-VERY LONG)
Date: 2 Sep 92 04:15:35 GMT
Organization: Penn State University

HUGRXN

Sound it out.  Huu-G-Rex-N.  If you don't get it by now, log off.

| HANS C. MASING                   | A BAD ATTITUDE IS THE      |
| HCM100 @ PSUVM.PSU.EDU           | DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE     |
| MANAGEMENT INFORMATION SYSTEMS   | WAY I THINK AND THE WAY    |
| PENN STATE UNIVERSITY            | YOU THINK I SHOULD THINK.  |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: g88d4938@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MR GE DOYLE)
Subject: T-Shirt
Organization: Rhodes University, Grahamstown, South Africa
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 06:32:36 GMT

Hi
 Our class (Computer Science) needs to put something on our T-shirt.
 Last year they had 

                          "Hit any key to continue"
   with the picture of a mouse holding a hammer standing next to a computer.

 Any one have any suggestions along the same lines?
 Any ideas will be appreciated - send to g88d4938@giraffe.ru.ac.za
 Thanx in advance
   Greg
Xref: sparky rec.humor:27011 soc.culture.polish:2109 alt.censorship:7133
From: syspb@smartstar.com (Paul)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Date: 25 Aug 92 21:04:05 GMT
Organization: none

How do you keep a Polak busy?

How do you keep a Polak busy?

How do you keep a Polak busy?

How do you keep a Polak busy?

How do you keep a Polak busy?

How do you keep a Polak busy?

How do you keep a Polak busy?

I'll tell you later.
From: HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: COME ON, PEOPLE!
Date: 2 Sep 92 04:26:11 GMT
Organization: Penn State University

I'm not yelling, my terminal is stuck in all caps. (I think)

Why has this group degenerated to arguing and name calling?  I came back
to the net after almost a year off and this group has become a place
for flames and rediculous (sp?) grammatical and spelling corrections.

To all of you who feel obligated to cross-post to a bizzilion non-related
groups, QUIT IT!

To those of you who like the flame wars, read rec.flame (well, there SHOULD
be one).

Come on, let's get funny.  Not intolerant.

ObJoke:  rec.humor.
| HANS C. MASING                   | A BAD ATTITUDE IS THE      |
| HCM100 @ PSUVM.PSU.EDU           | DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE     |
| MANAGEMENT INFORMATION SYSTEMS   | WAY I THINK AND THE WAY    |
| PENN STATE UNIVERSITY            | YOU THINK I SHOULD THINK.  |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: shenry@iat.holonet.net (Steve Henry)
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Organization: HoloNet (BBS: 510-704-1058)
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 02:47:29 GMT

clyde@brahms.udel.edu (Clarence W Robinson) writes:
: In article <1ek4oB1w164w@jab.tucson.az.us> cr@jab.tucson.az.us (clint ruoho) writes:
: >kelly@igor.tamri.com (Kelly Kittell) writes:
: >
: >> We have a very pleasant Filipino woman who lives in our neighborhood.
: >> Her name is Bea Ver.
: >
: >I once knew a Jewish guy named Ham Berger...
: 
: Delaware has a State Senator (or at least had one) named Al O. Plant.
: No lie.  He always included his middle initial.

At my workplace, I recently encountered the name Debra Tubig.  (Not funny
unless you accent the SECOND syllables.)  

Let's just hope her husband's name isn't Dick...<g>
-- 
*******************************************************
*  From: Steve Henry  * "A dead end's a dead end,     *
*  shenry@holonet.net *  a trailer's a trailer...     *
***********************  even if it's a double-wide"  *
From: phil@miracle.com (Phil Hill)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 29 Aug 92 21:03:46 GMT
Article-I.D.: miracle.29Aug92170346
Organization: Miracle Computer Consultants

marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>
>"Jesus is hanging on the cross and down below at the bottom
>of the hill, Peter is mourning the loss of their saviour and leader.
>Suddenly he hears a faint voice calling to him..."Peter....Peter"
>and he turns and starts to run up the hill toward Jesus on the cross.
>Before he can get to the top the Roman soldiers shew him away and,
>dejected, he goes back down the hill."
>
>
>I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
>a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
>willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
>but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.
>

Perhaps they are turning the other cheek.  Perhaps you should learn
to do that also.

Otherwise:  GET A LIFE
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Phil Hill                     | "All you people in TV land,           |
| Miracle Computer Consultants  |   I will wake up your empty shells.   |
|                               |  Peak time viewing blown in a flash,  |
|                               |   as I burn into your memory cells.   |
| Email: phil@miracle.com       |  'cause I'm alive." - Peter Gabriel   |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ralph@spss.com (Ralph Brendler)
Subject: Re: Groucho Marx?!
Organization: SPSS, Inc.
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 22:10:16 GMT

In article <37586@sdcc12.ucsd.edu>, kprashan@sdcc3.ucsd.edu (hyderabadi) writes:
> 
> Which brings me to my point. Is there any collection of his quotes
> lying anywhere in some old dirs. If not, why not start one.. with
> 
> "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
> 
>              -- Groucho on "You bet your life"
> 
>  
> Any more?
> 

My two personal favorites...

" I love my cigar too, but I take it out once in a while!"

      - Groucho's reply to a YBYL contestant who gave her reason for
        having 22 kids as "I love my husband".

"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."

-- 
      If these were my employer's opinions, I wouldn't be posting them.
###############################################################################
  "Whoever said nothing lasts forever was obviously  # R. Brendler
   NOT a Cubs fan..." - Mike Royko                   # SPSS, Inc. - Chicago IL
Newsgroups: rec.humor