HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jimd@psg.com (Jim Dorman)
Newsgroups: alt.support
Subject: Re: Better to have loved and lost...?
Date: 24 Dec 92 04:51:04 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Pacific Systems Group, Portland Oregon US

In <1992Dec23.200043.21719@microsoft.com> a-markov@microsoft.com (Mark Overby) writes:


> I have been going through the process of trying to get over the loss
> of my fiancee not to long ago and I keep running across the
> same question time and time and time again....

First off, allow me to offer my sympathies and support for you in your time
of loss.  Yeah, that's what this sub is for, but I know it never hurts to
hear (or see) it once in a while.

As for your question, is it really better to have loved and lost, etc., I
think it depends on the situation.  I was engaged to a woman that I loved
as much as anyone ever could, and she left me "to make love to any man she
wanted."  We had good times together, but after over 2 years, I think that
I would have been better off not having been with her.  If your relationship
ended negatively, then it could be that it's better not to have lost.

However, if things were going well, and this is a more 'tragic' loss, then
I think yes, it would be much better to have loved and lost.  The pain
involved will go away one day (I think, mine hasn't gone away completely yet)
and you will be able to look back with happy memories and not feel like
you were inadequate or whatever.

If your situation is like the first one I described (or similar), please 
mail me--it helps me to help others through similar pain.  If the second,
I'm afraid I don't have much experience, just a little attempt at wisdom :).

Whatever you do, enjoy the holidays with friends this year--don't spend time
by yourself, you'll be miserable--more than you already are.  Make new friends
if you have to, but enjoy some company.  And good luck.


Jim the Juggler, a.k.a.:  jimd@m2xenix.psg.com
Newsgroups: alt.support
From: lenore@tct.com (Lenore Cook)
Subject: Farewell
Organization: TC Telemanagement, Clearwater, FL
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 14:26:07 GMT

Well gang, this is my farewell posting.  I have    
recently resigned my position and will be leaving
sometime in January.  Although I will miss hearing
from all of you, I want to thank you for all your
support and caring.  

I am feeling very strong and confident thanks to
all of your help.  Without it I could not have made
the progress I have in the last few months.  I will
not have access to the net in my next position.  It 
is totally out of the computer industry.  For those
of you interested, I will be pursuing an extremely
exciting career with Mary Kay Cosmetics.

I wish you all the best of life in 1993.  May you
have all the health and prosperity your mind can
imagine.

Lenore Cook


P.S.  anyone wanting to go to lunch with me in
      my pink cadillac...just let me know... ;-)
Newsgroups: alt.support
From: das@media.mit.edu (David Sheppard)
Subject: Re: Better to have loved and lost...?
Organization: MIT Media Laboratory
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 21:25:07 GMT

In article <...> a-markov@microsoft.com (Mark Overby) writes:
>"Is it better to have loved and lost, or never to have loved
>at all?"
>
In general, loved and lost.  You can't grow without love, whether
it's love from within yourself or from outside.  Life is all about
growing, so if you aren't loving, you aren't getting the depth of
life that you could if you were.  This is independent of whether
you "lose" love or not.  For me, Love has both eternal and ephemeral
aspects;  I don't lose the eternal part of Love, though I may forget
or distance myself from it.  The more ephemeral parts of love are 
all in the moment--feelings, situations; physical, emotional, sensual
and sexual energies.  These all ebb and flow as needed.  One needs to
be truly present in the moment in order to receive these.

Love brings to us the best and most difficult gifts:  the lessons
we most need to learn.  Love brings the deepest pain we can feel as
well as the highest joy.  You can't separate these--Love contains
them both, and you can accept or deny.

This doesn't mean, of course, to indescriminately engage in "giving
love away".  That feels like "false love" to me.  To me, Love is that
aspect within us that promotes our spiritual growth, and the growth of
others as well.  In _certain_ situations, the Loving thing to do is 
*not* to attempt to "share love":

For example, if someone is repeatedly recreating unhealthy
relationships which are more based on addiction and denial than
growth, then "sharing love" with that person could just enable their
addiction-based behaviors.  *Actually*Loving* that person would more
likely involve NOT repeating useless patterns of addiction, but
creatively exploring new and healthier behaviors.

[One *does* have to be ready to change, though, and often this comes
about by repeating the same d*mn pattern in worse and worse ways until
one is totally fed up and _forced_ (motivated?) to choose something
different!  Personally, I had to make the same mistakes again and
again until I was at the end of my rope, screaming why? Why? WHY!?!
When I finally started listening, some answers started appearing.
My best and longest lover walking out on me gave me a jolt which
helped me pull out of the biggest hole I'd dug myself into...this 
was a very Loving gift.  It took a year for me to receive it in a
positive light, though]

>
>Anybody got any answers???????
>

The answers you most need will come from inside your own heart, and
when you quiet you mind and look within, you will find them there.
Out here, we can support, suggest and try to love you, but you have to
find your own light within--that is what is truly authentic & real.


Namaste, follow seekers and lovers, learners and losers--
         losing is just the dark side of winning; accept & grow.
From: Andrew.Cohill@vtssi.vt.edu (Andrew Michael Cohill)
Newsgroups: alt.support
Subject: Re: does it ever stop hurting
Date: 22 Dec 92 15:17:38 GMT
Organization: Fire in the Mountain
X-UserAgent: Nuntius v1.1.1d13
X-XXMessage-ID: <A75C9CC09501047C@thea.cc.vt.edu>
X-XXDate: Tue, 22 Dec 92 10:21:52 GMT

For me, the wound never healed in the sense that the skin becomes fresh 
and pink and clean again.  What I have now is a deep, ugly scar that is 
not at all pretty.  When you move a certain way you stretch the scar 
tissue in a direction that hurts, and you are reminded all over again of 
what caused the original wound.  

I have reached a place where I accept the scar as a part of me, and don't 
dwell on it anymore, but there are many mornings, usually on the way to 
work when the sun is still low in the sky and the light bends a certain 
way through the morning mist over the blue hills, that I think about her 
and what our life together was, and how very long ago and far away that 
seems now.  And in some way, I feel her presence with me now more than I 
did when I still bled so grievously from the wound.  I feel certain that 
she has helped me through some difficult times in the past few years, 
some gentle quiet voice that I don't hear on any wavelength of physical 
sound, but I feel nonetheless, just a whisper to try to re-pay me for all 
the pain she caused.  

Andrew
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: jfjr@mbunix.mitre.org (Freedman)
Subject: glycemic index
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, Bedford, MA
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 13:38:38 GMT

  Is there anyone prepared to talk intelligently about "glycemic
indices". What is the Bulls**t quotient it?

                                Jerry Freedman,Jr
From: diana@wetware.com (CatWoman )
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: Re: Workouts with bronchitis
Date: 22 Dec 92 21:33:41 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare MouseCatcher

Cold started December 2.  Fever broke by
December 6.  When I woke up on the 7th, I
felt the start of the lung irritation.

Doctor said there was the start of noise
in the lungs - got the antibiotics and 
stayed home that week.  Bronchitis.

I'm STILL coughing and feel pressure on
occasion, but I'm sleeping all night - I
am taking the elevator UPstairs, and I'm
leaving for the bus early enough to walk
fairly slowly - but I AM back to walking
some.  I am just paying ATTENTION when I
feel tired...

So - my best suggestion based on me is 
that when you are able to stop taking any
cough medicine, try walking - reasonable
pace, reasonable distance.

Mainly - take it easy on yourself, and
pay attention to the body.  If you're in
an aerobics class - and you can control
the desire to go full-blast - you might
try walking through parts of it.  Just
remember - there's a LOT of virii(?) 
around and you could catch ANOTHER bug
from someone there...

Diana
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: adg@netcom.com (Allan D. Griefer)
Subject: Exercise Partner and Support Sought
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Distribution: ba
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 04:56:36 GMT

I'm interesting in finding a support group in the San Jose area and, if
possible, someone who is interested company and mutual support for light
and then heavier exercise such as walking, hiking, treadmills, stationary
bikes, etc.

-- 
--
Al Griefer, KC6ZTW			adg@netcom.com
EMT-1A, AHA CPR Instructor		San Jose, CA
From: brooksp@hpcc01.corp.hp.com (Peter Brooks)
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 18:51:13 GMT
Subject: Re: MERRY WISHES
Organization: the HP Corporate notes server
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet

Rumor (and HMR lectures) say that losing weight is the #1 New Year's resolution.
Wonder why?  :-)

Merry New Year!

Pete Brooks

From: brooksp@hpcc01.corp.hp.com (Peter Brooks)
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 23:03:03 GMT
Subject: Re: Aspartame, Splenda, and other artifical sweeteners
Organization: the HP Corporate notes server
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet

Splenda hasn't made it (to my knowledge) to California.  The last time I was
in Canada (1977 or so), I was thrilled to see that cyclamates were still
available.  Used to love Fresca before they put saccharine in it; but
now that it has aspertame in, I like it again.

BTW, a friend claims that aspartame makes her bitchy.

Pete Brooks
From: Tammy.Vandenboom@launchpad.unc.edu (Tammy Vandenboom)
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: a question or two.
Date: 31 Dec 92 15:54:49 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service

I need to lose about 10 pounds.  Fifteen would be great. Anyway, I was
wondering if anyone out there had had any luck with appetite suppressant 
diet pills?  In the past I have never had anny trouble dropping a few pounds
whenever I felt I nede to, but lately (since the birth of my child 15 mo. ago)
I stay hungry.  I feel like it relates to the fact I had gestational diabetes
the last three months I was pregnant and was put on a strict diet.
I was required to eat certian predetermined amounts of food at predetermined 
times according to metabolism or something like that.  Anyway after my daughter 
was born I found myself hungry at these times of day and to this day, I get 
hungry at 6:00, 9:00, 12:00, 3:00, 6:00 etc.etc.

Would an appetite supressant, along with a sensible diet & exercise help, or am
I gonna just have to tough it outtill my body gets back on schedule?

0, 10:00 000000000000000 --oops
 Also, anyone have any suggestions for a really good exercise video?  The
very thought of spending an hour a day with Jane Fonda makes me want to gag,
there is bound to be somethiing better.

Thanks in advance!
 
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Organization: Senior, Social & Decision Sciences, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 12:16:22 -0500 
From: Cory Harper Jacques <cj14+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Being At Home

Hi! Happy Holidays!

I'm back at home for two weeks during the holiday break and my family's
eatting habits are driving me crazy. They are splirging on high fat
stuff all of the time. (Not to mention that they are all overweight) In
some regards I look at them and say that the food isn't worth it, but at
other times it looks so good and easy to just pop a few candys in!!!

I've asked them to put the stuff away when they are done eatting, but
they leave it out all over the house. So far I've done very well keeping
on my school schedule of eatting & exercising, but it's wearing me
down... how do y'all survive in homes with unhealthy eatting habits when
you know THEY aren't going to change?

PLUS, being at home is making me remember where I learned all of my
distructive eatting habits in the first place. I guess it kind of makes
me glad* to know that in a lot of ways my family IS responsible for me
becoming overweight. (*glad to know that I really am not to BLAME for
overeatting, but it is a habit picked up over the years of my life.) 

Any Thoughts Welcome...
Cory

From: brooksp@hpcc01.corp.hp.com (Peter Brooks)
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 23:25:49 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: Being At Home (POT ROASTS)
Organization: the HP Corporate notes server
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet

With respect to being at home, I'm going from a little bit of theory;
I have done little travel since I lost weight, and have had relatives
visit me, where *I* had the control.

On the one occasion I visited someone else's house, I explained that
1) I had to maintain a strict diet, etc, etc, and 2) I fudged a little
bit and claimed a few more food allergies than I really had.  tough to
pull of #2 with relatives, however.

For the dinner, I did a pick and choose.  The dish was a beef stew, and
I eat beef about once every 6 months.  (Had my first been in a long time
that noon, actually, in a 'sirloin salad':  Boorrrriiingggg!, even though
it was a well known steakhouse:  Well trained tastebuds.)  For dinner, I
picked out the carrots and potatoes, and dug into the salad.  Perhaps a
little low on protein for the day, but I figured I could live with it.

For the succeeding breakfast, I had packed some of my own food.  I have
a (real) allergy to egg, so I had some instant oatmeal on hand.  That and
some bananas got me going.  The rest of the day was spent at Disneyland,
where it is possible to eat healthy, provided you carry some dried fruit and
are reasonably paranoid about fat.  (The Blue Bayou by the Pirates of the
Carribian has a good Pasta Primavera.  Couple of baked potato bars in
the N'rleans area, too.)

The next day was a repeat of the previous day's breakfast, then I hit
the road.  Think I lived on dried fruit for the drive from LA to San Jose,
at which point I had one of my killer salads and refreshed my acquaintance
with tuna.  As it turns out, I had a significant deficit from undereating
at D'land, so I was able to eat like a pig once I got home.  Could have
eaten on the road, but there was nothing that appealed.

Getting back to theory, you will find it advantageous to get out of the
house from time to time.  If it's not too cold, try a hike or such.  Try
hitting a salad bar before the 'ordinary' dinner times.  I presume that
you won't be able to duck all the feasts, but try picking and choosing.
Try to get some healthy dishes on the table along with the high fat
stuff.  If you indulge, note it, remind yourself that your new patterns
are what you really want to do, see if you can correct the situation, and
carry on.  Above all, don't let 'failure' duuring the holidays get you down.
Another of those great statistics is the bit that the average American
gains 5-10 pounds over the holidays (thanksgiving through superbowl or so).
If you can beat those odds, you are well set.

Spoken as one who really hates to waste calories on high fat foods,

Pete Brooks (I'd much rather waste calories on carbohydrates.  :-)

Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: npm@dale.cts.com (Nancy Milligan)
Subject: Re: Being At Home
Organization: Titan Linkabit Corporation
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 17:25:12 GMT

Gary Nicklas (pgn64@cas.org) wrote:
> Seriously folks, there are people in Ohio who eat a healthy diet, exercise, and
> are not obese.

I'm sure there are.  :)  But none of them happen to be close relatives
to me.  :)

--
Nancy P. Milligan 				npm@dale.cts.com
Titan Linkabit					cts!dale!npm
		  Gravity is no laughing matter.
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: npm@dale.cts.com (Nancy Milligan)
Subject: Food Critic
Organization: Titan Linkabit Corporation
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 20:23:20 GMT

I've decided that I want to become a food critic.  Well okay, I already
am, I just don't write about it.  :)

Seriously, I had a brain storm last night.  With my deep love of 
food, nutrition and cooking, and yes, eating. Plus my love of
writing, I should start reviewing restaurants that have low-fat/calorie
cuisine.

So this I have decided to do.  I think it would be absolutely fun and
I don't care if anyone actually buys my articles.  I'll even just
give them away for free to newsletters and anywhere that wants
to publish them.  But maybe eventually someone will decide that
it's worth paying for.  If they don't, I don't care.  I'll still
be having fun doing it.

So I need to coin a name for my column.  Help me out!  

Here's some ideas:

	The Light-Hearted Eater
	The Light-Eater Reviews


Send or post your suggestions!  
--
Nancy P. Milligan 				npm@dale.cts.com
Titan Linkabit					cts!dale!npm
		  Gravity is no laughing matter.
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: hannan@sco.COM (Mind the Gap)
Subject: Yogurt cheese again...
Organization: Department of Information Provision
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 19:40:57 GMT


In article <1992Dec17.142457.23848@chpc.utexas.edu>, jbyrd@chpc.utexas.edu (Jan Byrd) oozed:
==> 
==> About 10 years ago I saw an offer on the side of a carton of Dannon Yogurt
==> for what they were calling a "Yogurt Cheese Maker".  I sent away for it,
==> and was delighted with what I got.  

while Xmas shopping, i found a Yogurt Cheese Funnel.
it's a plastic mesh inside hard plastic funnel that fits
on top of any jar or cup.  i bought it cause i thought it
would be easier to clean than cheesecloth (it is).

here's the info to order your own:


Really Creamy Yogurt Cheese Funnel
Millhopper Marketing
1110 NW 8th Ave.
Gainesville, FL 32601

$9.95 each (plus 6% sales tax for FL residents)
$2.50 postage & handling (1st item)
$1.00 postage & handling (each additional item)


-- 
``Random collections of letters do not aid communication
  and we should try to avoid them.''
					    -- GramT
From: jsl+@pitt.edu (John S Lundberg)
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: getting back on track
Date: 3 Jan 93 19:32:27 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh
Originator: jsl@unixd3.cis.pitt.edu

The Thanksgiving-New Years period was not the highlight of my
diet/exercise program.  I suppose I could call forth all kinds of
explanations but none really hide the truth: I slipped, and 
badly; the question is whether I'll fall or be able to get back
on track.  I have to wonder if I had really learned what I thought
I'd learned or if I was just kidding myself.  I thought I'd turned
a corner but I guess motivational geometry has a few wrinkles I
haven't yet mastered.

Oh well.  Back to basics, I guess.  I'm still far ahead of where I 
was in June, but just not where I want to be.  In roughly 4 months
I'll be 41 and I just don't have time for this BS anymore.  Time
to lace up the Nikes and go for a walk.  
-- 
John Lundberg
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: mprisco@lynx.cat.syr.edu ()
Subject: I survived the holidays
Organization: Syracuse University
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 92 09:24:30 EST


Well, just wanted to say hello.  I made it through the holidays
by allowing my self 2 days of indulgence.  I didn't dive into the
cookie tray or anything but I ate a nice Christmas dinner and
had some cookies (5>cookies<10) on Christmas and the day after
(when my sister arrived from Wisconsin with her homemade goodies).
The weird thing was that they weren't as good as I remember....
I mean, they were good but I don't feel bad that I won't have 'em
again for another year....  I feel much better about wearing my
new red leather coat that Santa brought (that I'd never have worn
or fit in 75 lbs ago!) than I did about eating cookies!

I should mention that I did go to the health club on Christmas
eve and again on the 27th, plus a couple of long walks and a
quick ride on the home exercise bike as damage control....

Margot
--
--
"I think we're passing through here kind of fast,
  Did you think these tracks in the dust would last? "
                                         - David Crosby
From: cjy@access.digex.com (Catherine Young)
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
Subject: Glider?
Date: 3 Jan 1993 23:26:25 GMT
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: access.digex.com


Does anyone know about a device that simulates rollerblading?  I saw
an ad for this on tv.  It is a strip of plexiglass that you slide on
with boots. Has anyone else heard of this or tried it?
-- 
--
Catherine Young
cjy@access.digex.com

Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: allen@tessi.com (Allen Warren)
Subject: Re: Being At Home
Organization: Test Systems Strategies, Inc., Beaverton, Oregon
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 20:45:10 GMT

npm@dale.cts.com (Nancy Milligan) writes:

>Gary Nicklas (pgn64@cas.org) wrote:
>> Seriously folks, there are people in Ohio who eat a healthy diet, exercise, and
>> are not obese.

>I'm sure there are.  :)  But none of them happen to be close relatives
>to me.  :)

I know there are as well, but I would *guess* that a majority of the population over
50 years of age are NOT in this healthy category, based upon what I see whenever I
venture back to Ohio and go out in public to malls, walks around town, etc.  Also,
why do the statistics show that the greatest concentration of and highest revenue
area for fast-food restaurants is in the Midwest?  I'm NOT saying that Ohio is
loaded with obese, junk-food eating, couch potatoes, but I AM saying that there are
still more meat and potatoes, obese people there than the health conscious ones.
I'd LOVE to see it change, though.  Richard Simmons, where are you?  =)  =)

allen
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet
From: izaragoz@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Isabel Zaragoza)
Subject: the diet workshop
Summary: thanks
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 17:41:57 GMT

I want to thank the person who responded to my diet workshop inquiry. I wanted 
to respond directly to your mailbox, but I accidentally deleted your message.

I joined last week (Yes, just in time for the holidays) and I am doing very 
well. I like the program, it is easy to follow and works very well for a 
vegegtarian. I love the fact that vegetarian protein sources are identified
and that the dinners (although I have not tried them yet) are all vegetarian. 
The people at my class are very nice, and being a small group makes it more 
enjoyable.

Thanks again for responding to my posting.

IZ
Newsgroups: alt.support.diet