From: alien@mueller.ecn.purdue.edu (Yin Chan)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.hongkong
Subject: Re: Acts of love
Date: 16 Oct 92 20:57:51 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network

Haven't read all the postings under the subject "Acts of love", I hope I
haven't missed any interesting and thought-provoking ones.

Well, I just read Anthony's a minutes ago and some ideas popped up suddenly.
I totally agree with what he said, namely love is not a one-way thing.  At
least I am convinced.  Not through much experience but reasoned from a
psychological point of view.  What make people happy?  I strongly believe
that they are rewards of different forms.  Love from others is one of them,
praise is another kind, just to name a few.  Unless a person is happy when
he gives, be the recipient his enemy/friend/rival etc., I fail to see
why a one-way love can last long.  Please ask yourself, how many couples
you know of are keeping this kind of biased relationship?  Isn't it true
that one is attracted to the other because each possesses certain kinds of
virtues (being gentle, caring, intelligent...).

I am not saying that people are lying when they claim they believe or
have certain highly admirable ideals/virtues, such as giving love without
thinking of taking anything back.  I just think that we are not aware of
our subconscious.  I have long been thinking that everybody is selfish.
Without any form of reward, almost any actions will vanish sooner or later.
The only possible way, in my opinion, that one can engage in the so-called
one-way love, is that he/she are so into it that loving is already a form
of reward!  

Another related topic.  I really would like to see how other people 
think, especially girls.  I have also been convinced that the ownership of
certain things make the seeking game easier.  What are they?  Cars, money,
some forms of security like a well-paid job...  Hold it! Please listen to
me before firing!

I am not implying that the girl/guy you are seeking accepts you because
he/she likes what you own.  Rather, they make life EASIER for the seeker.
Take cars for example, if you own one, it's a LOT easier to ask her/him
out to say, go see a movie or dine out.  Consider that the theatre is
several miles away from the place you stay.  Not to mention the possibility
that she/he is FAR away from where you live.  How about money?  By the
similar token.  How much does a dozen of roses cost?  How about just one
nice looking balloon?  It won't hurt if you sent them, at time, to the 
one who attracts you.  I think money is less important than a car.  But hei,
without money, how come you can own a car?  Think about the gas and insurance!

Finally it comes to the most earthly thing in my list.  If the girl you
are seeking is a rather weak type,  a well-paid, secured job will be a
plus, I think.  NO, if the girl is aware that she likes you because of
your job, stop chasing her.  She is not worth your time or affection.  This
applies to the ownership of cars, lots of money...  Back to the job thing.
Same old question.  What make people happy?  Securities are one kind of
them.  Financial security is certainly included.  Again, she needs not FEEL
that she needs it BUT inside her subconscious self, the well-paid job is
almost surely a plus because it gives her a feeling of security.

Hope I don't make the matter of love sound too worldly.  I just think that
people are not aware of their subconscious most of the time.  I believe
that if the one you are seeking likes you because of those materialistic
entities, give it up and look for another one.  This is my philosophy.
I am inviting any criticism/opinions.  One last point, I have tried to
keep away from a sex-biased tone by using "he/she", instead of "he".
But it causes too much typing!  I finally gave up.  Any words pertaining
to a particular gender, in this message of mine, are replaceable by
the opposite gender counterpart.

Yin