From: idx009@cck.coventry.ac.uk (the Crisco Kid)
Subject: Re: Cats'n'Dogs
Organization: Eris's Restaurant
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 20:00:43 GMT

In article <ldme0aINNlhn@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>>Hmmm... I had a dog for about 12 years before we put her away.
>You "put her away," huh?  Where?  In the cupboard over the sink?  In the
>coat closet?  It's always nice to see that people are tidy and organized,
>instead of leaving clutter such as dead dogs lying around the house.  Hell,
>someone might trip!

<grin>  Well put, Sir!

>This is as good a time as any to intrroduce you to Geoff's Guide To
>Euphemisms -- a modern primer to assist one`s navigation through the
>mysterious and hazardous shoals of modern mealy-mouthed obfuscation:


>                EUPHEMISM                       TRANSLATION
>                ---------                       -----------
>                physically handicapped,         crippled

Not quite equivalent.  I *am* physically handicapped by my poor hearing
and my arthritis, but am not yet crippled.  When I become so, I shall
so describe myself.

>                physically challenged

Now that *is* ugly... sorry: "aesthetically challenged" :)

>                emotionally handicapped         crazy

Again, a weaker and a stronger term: most men are emotionally
handicapped, but not all of them are crazy.  Not all...

>                mentally handicapped,           mentally retarded

Pretty much equivalent, in my book.

>                developmentally disabled,

Mealy-mouthed.

>                "special"

Meaningless (semantically challenged?)


>                vitally handicapped             dead

This is a joke, no?

>                hearing impaired                deaf ("Haah?")
>                visually impaired               blind

My first point again; I'm hearing-impaired (or, as I usually put
it, partially deaf), but not yet deaf.

>                chemical dependency             drug addiction
>                substance abuse                 drug abuse

These merely avoid the loaded term "drug"; certainly where I come
from, tranquilisers (for instance) are regarded as "medicine", 
whereas crack is a "drug".  GPs have to be very careful if asking
patients whether they are taking any drugs: patients can get quite
indignant.

>                affectional preference          sexual orientation

Avoids the specicifity of "sex"; for example, my friend Jamie has said
that he could easily fall in love with a man, but couldn't bring himself
to have sex with him.  He has an affectional preference for men, but
is not sexually orientated towards them.

>                the homeless                    bums

You can be homeless without being a bum.  I was.

>                people of color                 colored people

Crazy.  Both of these are crazy.  We're *all* coloured.

>		person of species 		animal

This is a joke, no?

>                vertically impaired             short

As is this?

>                the elderly,                    old people
>                "seniors"
>                (formerly "senior citizens",
>                as opposed to 12th graders)

You know, I'd rather be old.  Actually, I'd prefer to be "venerable".

>                dimensionally impaired          ghost

Silly...

>                food server or waitperson       waitress (otherwise simply
>                                                "waiter")

"Waiter" does fine for me.

>		firefighter			fireman

As does "firefighter".

>                -person (suffix)                -woman
>                (e.g., "spokesperson")

Usually satirical; always silly.  "Speaker" is what I generally use.

>                custodian                       janitor

I've never seen "custodian" used in this sense.

>                passed away                     died

A venerable euphemism.

>                person with AIDS (PWA)          AIDS victim

Seems sensible.  I can't think of myself as an "arthritis victim" (except
at 4 in the morning, with about 2 grams of aspirin burning a hole in my
stomach, but so it goes).

>                "battling" a disease            dying from a disease

Depends on whether it's battleable or not, I'd say.

>                sensitive 90's male             wimp

Can't wimps be female also?


My favourite - and I insist that the person using it must have been
doing so with tongue stuck firmly in cheek - came when I described
myself in email as "clumsy".  Well, I am: and so I've always described
myself.  "Oh no," came the reply, "you mustn't say 'clumsy'; you must
say 'differently kinetically enabled' instead".

It still makes me grin.

				Kay
-- 
6'2", dark short hair, blue eyes, bisexual and horny as ....
Kay Dekker, Dept of Industrial Design, Coventry University, Coventry UK
37 Old Winnings Road, Keresley Village, Coventry   |B0 f t+ g++ k++! s+ e r p!
Phone: +44 203 838668 (work) +44 203 337865 (home) |Deflowerer-of-innocents
From: ian@hpopd.pwd.hp.com (Ian Watson)
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 12:30:06 GMT
Subject: Re: meaning of "troso"
Organization: Hewlett-Packard ISG-SBU-PWD, UK.