HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: Hare Triggers
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 12:56:34 GMT

  Elaine writes:
>Uh, has anyone noticed that I am the only bunnyhugger in Peevetown? I
>By the way, tomorrow is my birthday, so be nice to me.

Only bunnyhugger?  Not according to the following transcript from
KPEV, channel 6, Morning News, Oct. 8, 1992:

  Today its business as usual again in Peevetown with the return of the
testosterone junkies following the tofu orgy disaster of Oct. 6.
We go now live to our reporter on the street.... camera now
shows a traditional Hollywood western cow town complete with 2
dimentional buildings.  Along the walkways are strolling one dimentional
carnavoric rednecks.  The reporter stops one at random, "you sir, can
you tell us what happened."  Camera zooms in on a Hulk Hogan lookalike
with I RUSS tattoed on his forehead.  "Well, using my 75 watt
shortband multidirectional transmitter I remotely detonated 5
Bouncing Betty Claymore ordinance exploding 5 kg of t2043 plastique
accelerating 2143 5.65 mm fragmentation projectiles vectoring 2430 fps....
...........balistic machojargon fades to background as scene
cuts to inside the Peevetown Saloon.  Racks of dead animal carcasses
and chainsaws are swaying on meathooks.  On the planked floor,
covered with sawdust and tobacco spit, at least 10 obese men in combat
fatigues and webbing are rolling about, convulsing and frothing
at the mouth, faces blue.  Camera zooms to the smiling face of the
mysterious Madame bartender.  "What's going on here Jenny".
"Well, they all just slugged down shots of my cholesterol gelatin,
artery hardening, heart attack special.
    Here the transcript abruptly ends, cut to a commercial advertizing
the new "Organic Yogurt n Sprouts" shop across the street which
is packed with healthy, slender, cheerful, PC, bunnyhugging, vegetarian
Liberals.

Reprinted without permission by Scott Park, who is not in any way
spokesman for the company he works for for. For.

Antipeeve:  Go ahead, kill 'em all off, I'll make more.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,talk.religon.misc
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy.....
Followup-To: alt.peeves,soc.singles,alt.sex,rec.kibo.hunting
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 12:51:50 GMT

ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
] 
] 	Fer yer information, oh Agent of The Vatican At Sun,
] 	the Greek Orthodox and the Russian Orthodox (not to 
] 	mention the Coptics) all consider themselves to be 
] 	the true descendents of the "catholic" (notice the 
] 	small "c") Church. It's sorta like the difference
] 	between Xerox (the TM) and "xerox" (photocopying),
] 	but not quite.

Excuse Please Oh desicated diseased One who Mounts
with the Great Whore Of Baylon Upon the Seven Hills
as Revealed in the Book of Revelations.

There is the Implication, in your eclesiacitical screed,
that you have Presumed that in Some way the Capitalization
Methodology Affords Unto the Chained Dogs of The Decaying
Oppressors of the Levantine, that in some manner they
are the originators, rather than the Userpers of the
one True See which is in Jerusalem! Then Moved, Upon
the Oppression of the Heathens to Constantinople, which
was the Correct Seat of Power after the Decline of Rome
lead by heretical Notions, made that town UnInhabitable
by any But the Followers of the Papacy! Whence, from
Constantinople, that Blessed City! The True Faith was
spread northward across the Steepes to Muskva, Where in
the Holy Piety was Preserved until SeXularHumanism and
The Moral Degeneracy of the Capitalist Exploiters did 
Fall Upon Holy Mother Russian, by way of the German Agent!
Long After the Fair City of Constantinople had Fallen
to the Turks, who were in League with that Most Riotous
Romping in Rome!!!!

] 	P.S. I hope you don't mind having sharp pointy things
] 	thrust up yer butt (until they come out of the top
] 	of your head). If you do, there's this neat trick
] 	that involves 4 horses....or the one with molten lead....
] 	suffice to say, Torquemada was a piker (and unimaginative)
] 	compared to some folks in Rus during The Great Scism.

Good, now shall we clarify the Difference between
the 'Old Believers' who were Not Co_opted by the 
degeneracy of the Czarites, Nor KowTowed to their
replacement in the Kremlin.... As Did those who,
following in the Way of your "Big C" Fallacy, set
themselves up to act Just Like that GreatWhore
which it was their Holy Duty to Reject!!!!!

Or are you merely interested in being pedantic about all this.


ciao
drieux




-- 
Modern Day Problems:
In any case, don't give up, just type slower :-).
Chimo
Bob.
From: ee!bill.berbenich@gatech.UUCP (Bill Berbenich)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Footed Fish
Date: 12 Oct 1992 02:17:16 -0500
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
Reply-To: ee!bill.berbenich@gatech.UUCP
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

Carol Osterbrock writes:
#> 
#> The Darwinners
#> 6671 Sunset Blvd. Suite 1525
#> Los Angeles, CA  90028
 
#> Send them a check for 6 bucks, and tell them you want a fish for your
#> car.
 
#> -carol
#> -- 
#>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
#> Carol Osterbrock       *       Such a long, long time to be gone
#> carolo@cse.ucsc.edu    *         And a short time to be there...
#>=============================================================================

There you go, New, Improved Brian Scearce.  Or may I be so familiar as to call
you Bar?
  -Bill
From: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: The Goat in God's Eye
Keywords: Losers
Date: 9 Oct 92 23:51:19 GMT
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu
Organization: Up the,

The "Simpsons" last night was a cultural masterwork.  I laughed
long and loud.  A person of my acquaintance had, prior to my actually
viewing the show, berated my intention to do so.  The criticism of
the show as shallow (from someone who hadn't seen it) mutated into
a civics lecture pointing out the waste of sitting watching tv rather
than engaging in some sort of self-improvement.  Well, I feel the show
completely justified my saying that a group of dozens of creative people
working for weeks have more culturally relevent observations than any
group of self-righteous arrogant posers sitting in their coffee-shops
pontificating without a vatican to back them up.  A half-hour from
Mr. Groening and Mr. Brooks has more concentrated thought provoking 
material and is available more time-efficiently and less expensively
than most beatnikphile soapbox jockeys.  

-- 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The wages of sin are death, but the benefits include dental, major
medical, two week paid vacation, pension fund, and stock options.
Actually, taken as a package, it's a rather attractive deal.
          Tim Mefford___________________tim@physics.orst.edu
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Self-Assembly (was Caffeine and mornings)
Date: 9 Oct 92 19:55:47 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <ld92c9INNd8a@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>
>
>In article <1b20kkINNirv@smaug.West.Sun.COM> dab@ism.isc.com 
>(Dave Butterfield) writes:
>
>>=Jesus Christ!
>
>>Well, on a crutch.
>
>On a Jetski.
>
Selling tacos at ventura beach?

Regards, Charles

Ps: could he be tearing up pictures of the Pope? Think carefully 
and note that by New Testament evidence, this is a very
christlike act...
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Chunderation
Date: 15 Oct 92 15:53:43 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

In article <1992Oct15.093517.8162@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>Misunderstandings in the middle of a plame war!

Good god.  You think you're in the middle of flame war?  That is quite
a misunderstanding.

Fear not, though.  If, for some reason, a flame war did break out
here, your toe tag has been prepared in advance.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
 Placard:  "Will work for food"
 Response: "Blow me!"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: timke@microsoft.com (Tim Keane)
Subject: Re: Quadrophobia     
Date: 09 Oct 92 23:15:21 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corporation

In article <1992Oct7.173239.14830@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:
>Yeesh.  I was given a copy of "Band on the Run" on, get this, a quadrophonic
>8-track tape.  I don't know that any quad 8-track players were ever created,
>but *I* didn't have one.  It was sooooooo COOL.  You could listen to 1/2
>a song (not the first half or the second half, but half of the entire song
>from beginning to end) on the first pass through the stereo heads, and about
>45 minutes later you could hear the other half.  It was years before I heard
>all of some of those songs at the same time.

Hey Jing!  (may I call you Jing?)  Your 8-track deck was busted and/or stupid.
I had absolutely no problem playing my Quadrophonic 8-Track of Grand Funk
Railroad's _We're_An_American_Band_ (molded in purple plastic and labelled
in gold) in the stereo 8-track player in my '74 Plymouth Brougham.

Peeve: no longer have that car -- what a perfect example of '74 it was too,
with shag carpet that extended 6" up the door panels, oh-so-cool velour bucket
seats, gas-sucking V8 and Torqueflight tranny, and an ash tray full of roaches.
Sold it after it turned over 200,000 miles.

!Peeve: Still have the tape! 8-)  Anybody have a spare Quadrophonic 8-track
deck they want to sell me?

-tim "We're comin' to your town, we'll help you party down" keane
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Hare Triggers
Date: 14 Oct 92 18:03:11 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <ldk17qINNjep@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
[re quotes]
>
>Peeve:  Caught in the cusp of a cosmic screwing, I used a line in the same 
>newsgroup in which I found it, way back when.  Oh, well.


Cosmic screwing? Damn, another great party I missed.


Peeve: I am always in the wrong room when the joint gets passed around.

!Peeve: I got this book. Its *me*. Its entitled, "The Portable Curmudgeon".
Its a must-read for this crowd.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I just couldn't take the green brain carpet, so I had to kill it."
					-R. Hep
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Keywords: Losers
Date: 12 Oct 92 23:37:46 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

[curtis yarvin decides to fry up regular bananas instead of plantains for
dinner and gets spooge]

Curtis -

Next time, fry them up in butter and put powdered sugar on them when you pull
them out just after they've turned brown.  Yum yum.

Oh, and a free hint for you: don't try to eat your plantains until they're
ripe.
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Skinhead O'Conner's Staement-The real message.
Date: 7 Oct 92 08:45:48 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1992Oct6.163829.1737@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu>, sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu writes:
> 
> In article <1992Oct5.134746.8281@umbc3.umbc.edu>, potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
> 
>>> peeve: skinhead o'connor. where i agree with some of her ideas, her methods
>>> 	are a bit extreme.
> 
> A Bit?! She make Abbey Hoffman  seem as conservative as Bill Buckley.
> 
>> This reminds me. My aunt told me that Skinhead was on Saturday Night Live 
>> a while back, and was singing with a lot of Jewish religious things around her
>> (I don't know what sort of things she had as props, since I don't know anyone 
>> who is Jewish... not counting a couple of net-people). Anyway, at the end of 
>> the song she holds up a picture of the Pope, which she rips to shreds, and says
>> "Let's fight the real enemy." Does anyone know what the HELL she was talking 
>> about?
> 
> I'll posit that she meant what I have felt for years; that religion is one of
> the deepest roots for division, hatred and myopic isolation around. She just
> chose, as any capable speaker would, the most readily identifyable (sp?) and 
> sybolic figurehead of religion to the American public.
> 
> She simply stated something that needed to be said. (sans the melodrama).
> 
> I'll extend myself further an say that she is lightyears ahead, with respect
> to social conscience,than the rest of us. I daresay that religion will be as
> laughable and antiquated to our decendants as alchemy and magic are to us.
> 


I think it isn't religion that's laughable, but the way people turn and twist
it to fit teir own agendas. If you mix in a bit of common sence, the basic 
tenets of most relaigions are really pretty sound. An example is Christianity.

Love thy Neighbor.


Try not to kill anyone.


Stuff like that.

It's the fanatics and the crazies of the world who say things like "If you
sleep with a mamber of the same sex, you're goin g to go to hell!" or
the ones that say "birth control is and Evil Thing" that cause people to say
"fuck you!" and ignore what really is sound advice.

Peeve: Jesus Freaks and other fanatics.


By the way, I hope you're ok after the hurricane, Scott.

Later
Mike
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky)
Subject: Re: Recipes for the New Depression
Keywords: deer season is almost here!
Organization: Technical University Vienna, Dept. for Realtime Systems, AUSTRIA
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 15:13:24 GMT

russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:

>For the clueless, spatlese is a noodle made (mostly) in southern
>Germany (likely Austria and Switzerland as well) [...]

you learn a little every day. i always thought `spatlese' (with an umlaut
over the `a') was a type of wine, you know, the one where the grapes have
been plucked late in the year, possibly after the first frost.

now where was i? oh yes: you learn a little every day. 
today's lesson: how 'murricans will permute the letters of a perfectly
ordinary german word until they arrive at something *they* can pronounce. 
isn't it `spatzle' (again, with an umlaut over the `a')?

>It's good, too damn good, and an excellent way to
>serve up extra calories.

seconded. thirded, even. it reminds me of the lunch i didn't have today. 

peeve: the lunch i didn't have today. 
today i had an appointment with the Service Bozos for the central 
heating in my apartment. they were scheduled to arrive `between eight 
and noon'. 

right, thinks i, no problem. no Service Bozos either, though. 
not at eight, not at nine, not after that. at half past noon i called 
the company. the lady there said she'd try to reach the Service Bozos 
and call me back. 

riiiiggghhtt ... an hour later i called back. she hadn't reached 
them and was offering another appointment for friday. 

if it hadn't been for the fact that switching to another company
would have meant at least one more week more in a cold apartment, i'd 
have told her to stuff it. 

come the revolution ... 

-alex

-- 
Alexander Vrchoticky             alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
TU Vienna, CS/Real-Time Systems  +43/1/58801-8168
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Well?? (Was: Lowest Common Denominator (Was: Boss Peeve))
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<9209280110.aa09543@crisco.sco.COM>
	<1992Sep28.213723.1349@parsifal.umkc.edu>
	<lch0ejINN3as@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> <lch9pvINN9d@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>
	<ATAYLOR.92Oct1151837@gauss.nmsu.edu>
	<1992Oct2.032322.27090@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 19:36:30 GMT

<In article <1992Oct2.032322.27090@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:

<   In <ATAYLOR.92Oct1151837@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:

<   >	When in Las Cruces, eat at Dick's Cafe.....pulp
<   >	novel, it ain't.

<   There's a joke in there somewhere.

<   I just know it...
 
	Well? Out with it, man!

ObPeeve: joke-teases.
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:15438 soc.singles:27475 talk.politics.misc:50813
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,soc.singles,talk.politics.misc
Subject: More things that need Clarification
Date: 11 Oct 92 00:05:26 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper


It has been brought to my attention that with the
arrival of the college crowd that certain matters
seem to confuse them. Allow me to do my civic duty
and clarify a few of them:


1. The phrase 'life sucks' is a Meterological Joke
having to do with pressure differential.

2. 'fighting gravity' on the other hand is a 
matter of empowering Masses to overcome their Bonds!

ciao
drieux

ps: its not just a Job, Its a civic Duty.


-- 
Modern Day Problems:

Don't Just Rock the Vote
Kick OUT THE JAMS!
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Psycho Mother Peeve
Date: 12 Oct 92 21:11:13 GMT
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst

I think my mother has finally lost it - not that she ever much had it
to begin with.  She's very concerned over my financial situation.  You
see, my husband hasn't been able to find a job for the past four months,
things being what they are in Western Mass.  And me being in Grad school,
well, even with a full fellowship my stipend isn't really enough for one
person to live on, let alone two.  And I can't get a loan, because Greg made
enough money to live on last year.

Anyway, I made the mistake of telling her that I might drop out of school 
at the end of the semester.  It's not something I want to do, but I know 
I can get a full time job very easily, and it appears that Greg cannot get 
any type of job at all.

So my mother tells me to ask my father for money - I would rather pluck my
eyeballs out with a spoon than ask that bastard for ANYTHING and I tell her
this.

So - get this - she decides she's gonna sue him.  I'm twenty-eight fucking
years old and she says she's gonna sue him for non-support.  She had no problem
with me living on the streets when I was sixteen because neither of them felt
like having a kid at that point, but now that I'm a married adult she's 
suddenly all enraged that he isn't shouldering his share of the burden.

I really hope this shit isn't genetic!!

Jenny
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: avdh@sunnyboy.dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Heide)
Subject: Re: Newbie alert?
Organization: Dazix - An Intergraph Company
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 16:18:56 GMT

In article <1992Oct14.224430.1746@twg.com>, nolan@twg.com (Prof. Dr. Hans 
Scheisskopf) writes:
> 
> In several articles, including  <1992Oct14.165558.16595@dazixco.ingr.com>
>  and <1992Oct13.142313.8750@dazixco.ingr.com> good old 
> avdh@sunnyboy.dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Heide) from Dazix - An 
> Intergraph Company, dazzles us with his wit - all half of it:
                                                ^^^ ^^^^ ^^ ^^

Oh, VERY good, VERY original, VERY, how shall I say? Jr. High.  I suppose this
is the level of reparte I must aspire to if I am to post to this newsgroup.

> [painfully slow plot development deleted]
> 
> The grand finale is his invention of the successor to ROT13 (wonder if he
> knows what that is)

Is that the unatural procedure that you and the donkey perform?  That's 
assuming you have progressed from pleasuring yourself with the old Electrolux.

> 
>         a (!acef ruoy otni ,lanimret ruoy fo tuO) vdh
> 
> Lissen up, Mr. Sonnyboy "From the Heather"! Lurk a bit to learn the rules.


It seems to me that those rules must include spending many saturday nights
in front of a terminal, thesaurus to the right, stack of well thumbed, encrusted
back issues of "Penthouse" to the left, working oneself into an orgiastic
frenzy as ones tentacles obscenely stroke the keys to produce yet another
collection of hackneyed insults which are supposed to fatally flay those of
us who are out having lives.

> If
> you've been lurking for a while, it's NOT LONG ENOUGH. Go away until you have
> something APPROPRIATE to contribute. Analyze the greatest of the articles
> posted here for style, content, vocabulary, grammar, and intelligence.

Like your stellar missives which consist mainly of grammer school level insults,
right?

> Then
> make another feeble attempt to enter the realm at the lowest level.

I won't make the obvious comment here (when you've given up trying to figure
it out, ask your officemate.  Maybe both synapses together can come up with
it).

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Alain van der Heide            |  It must be nice to be                     |
| Dazix, an Intergraph Company   |  All the things you're not                 |
| avdh@dazixco.ingr.com          |                                            |
|                                |              Lou Reed                      |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Re: Recipes for the New Depression
Keywords: Grundwortschatz Deutsch
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Deutsche Grammatik Polezei
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 21:08:40 GMT


In article <knfp3+-@lynx.unm.edu> jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann) writes:
 spatleze	asparagus		pie crust, well pricked
 ^^^^^^^^
In article <1992Oct6.214007.4545@bbxrbk>, russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:

        OK, I give up: where do you get spatlese around here?  I can't even
                                        ^^^^^^^^
        find the fully looking strainer like thing I've seen used to make
        the >noodles, much less the pre-made stuff.

        For the clueless, spatlese is a noodle made (mostly) in southern
                          ^^^^^^^^
        Germany (likely Austria and Switzerland as well) served as a side
        with a lot of dishes.  It's good, too damn good, and an excellent
        way to serve up extra calories.

OK, Jenny prolly dood a typo. It oughta be spaetzle. But Russ dood it
zweimal. Russ, Old Bean, SPAETLESE is a late-picked wine. You drink it,
possibly in gross quantities. Good stuff. But SPAETZLE is the funny little
noodles that comes mit Bavarian/Tyrolean food. 

Standing By for Alex V.s correction...

--
Nolan "Hacks Deutsch as a hobby" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"Texas is like an old woman's pussy.  Everyone knows its down there but
nobody gives a fuck."  - Overheard on CB radio, compliments of 
	bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"