HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: A Question...
Date: 24 Jan 1993 02:41:04 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: sandman.caltech.edu

demetri@cgrg.ohio-state.edu  writes:

>For a while I did use a hyphenated name (never
>bothered with the paperwork hassle), but magazine subscriptions kept coming
>back as Renee L. Owens.  I finally just reverted to my own name.  I'm
>comfortable with it....
>That only concerns me because we plan to
>hyphenate our child's name and I would like people to get that straight.

If they didn't get your name straight, what makes you think they'll 
get your child's name straight.

I suggest using one of the surnames as your child's middle name:

firsthame yoursurname yourhusbandssurname

or

firstname yourhusbandssurname yoursurname

-- 

                                                --  Michal
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Impressive amounts of material can be accreted in this manner.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: demetri@cgrg.ohio-state.edu 
Subject: A Question...
Organization: OSU Advanced Computing Center for the Arts and Design
Distribution: usa
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 00:26:00 GMT

Funny thing is, my husband and I were just discussing this in the car
today.  I was commenting on how Hillary Clinton had retained her maiden
name Rodham after they got married but changed it when he went into
politics.  We wondered if he still would have been elected if she had kept
her name.  I have already heard disparaging remarks about her being
domineering (read: speaks her mind).  Imagine the perceptions if she had
kept her name.  When I was preparing to get married I planned to become
Renee Lester-Owens.  Just keeping my name seemed somehow cold and
unromantic.  I would have loved it if we could have both taken a hyphenated
last name, but my husband, like the other men that have been mentioned,
wanted no part of it (and, like other people have commented, didn't care
what I did with my name.)  For a while I did use a hyphenated name (never
bothered with the paperwork hassle), but magazine subscriptions kept coming
back as Renee L. Owens.  I finally just reverted to my own name.  I'm
comfortable with it.  It's great, because if anyone ever calls and asks for
Renee Owens I know they are selling something and I don't need to talk to
them.  I also have some relatives who will not call me by my proper name
even though I have told them.  That only concerns me because we plan to
hyphenate our child's name and I would like people to get that straight.
                      Renee
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: michael@neuron6.jpl.nasa.gov (Michael Rivero)
Subject: Re: Suggestions for wedding music
Organization: JPL Pasadena CA
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 23:19:54 GMT

In article <1993Jan22.044256.4216@thunder.mcrcim.mcgill.edu> zelek@thunder.mcrcim.mcgill.edu (John S. Zelek) writes:
>I am looking for suggestions of appropriate
>music (songs) for weddings.
>-- 
>===============================================================================
>John S. Zelek       		McGill Research Centre for Intelligent Machines
>zelek@mcrcim.mcgill.edu         McGill University, Montreal
>===============================================================================


  "Day of wrath"?  :)

  Seriously, whetever has meaning for the two of you. If you have any musical
talents, write yer own. If your ladylove is anything like mine was, there
is nothing you can write that she WON'T think is wonderful as long as it's
written for 'her' wedding. You will never enjoy such an enthusiastic and 
non-critical audiance ever again; enjoy the experience!
-- 
Michael Rivero michael%neuron6@jpl-mil.jpl.nasa.gov
From: zelek@thunder.mcrcim.mcgill.edu (John S. Zelek)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Suggestions for wedding music
Date: 22 Jan 93 04:42:56 GMT
Organization: McGill Research Centre for Intelligent Machines

I am looking for suggestions of appropriate
music (songs) for weddings.
-- 
===============================================================================
John S. Zelek       		McGill Research Centre for Intelligent Machines
zelek@mcrcim.mcgill.edu         McGill University, Montreal
===============================================================================
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: sosc1048@wc11.writer.yorku.ca (Joel Cohen)
Subject: Great strip joints
Organization: York University
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 21:44:34 GMT


Help!
I need a strip joint where there is some HOT BUTTS?
I need a strip joint where there is some HOT HONKERS!
I need a strip joint where there are HOT CHICKS with HOT P@SSY$
I need a joint>!!>

Please tell me where I can find this strip club, so that I may view 
women the way they were meant to be viewed!

Thank you guys and girls who respond.  P.S. If any girl wants to give me 
SH@T over this posting better be HOT, otherwise I'm not listening.

                          ONE MAN - ONE Can!
                 And you better not miss the seat
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 08:56:27 EST
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: A Question of Etiquette
 <93018.171434SEK@psuvm.psu.edu> <1993Jan21.000034.6527@funlwb.enet.dec.com>

In article <1993Jan21.000034.6527@funlwb.enet.dec.com>,
lugsden@flotsm.ozy.dec.com (Keith Lugsden) says:
>
>I'm intrigued. I thought Americans dropped the 'u' from all those words. Has
>it reappeared in wedding invitations?

Yes, in wedding invitations you're expected to request the "honour" of
your guests' attendance, and the "favour" of their reply.

-Sonja
From: ez012344@chip.ucdavis.edu
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: NAMBLA? In Silicon Valley? Don't know.
Date: 28 Jan 93 15:30:14 GMT
Organization: Computing Services, UC Davis

[Roy Radow's post with report quotes]

Thanks for posting them, Roy.
Dan
deherrin@ucdavis.edu
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: kapa@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (k.a.perkins)
Subject: Re: A Question
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 22:40:24 GMT
Summary: paternity leave

In article <1993Jan26.014209.15902@cgrg.ohio-state.edu>, demetri@cgrg.ohio-state.edu writes:
> In reference to men changing their names, I just remembered that I know of
> 
> Back to the men, it reminds me of a case where a colleague of mine had
> twins and her husband got strange reactions from his empoloyer about his
> decision to take a few weeks of leave.  How unfortunate that when a man
> does try to take a more modern approach, he gets so little support.

I know what you mean, but have actually seen the opposite case.  At the
company I work for, parental leave is
equally available to men and women, but far more women than men 
actually take it.  It's too bad because it is a good thing for
our family, parents as well as child, for us to share  the child
care joys and work as much as possible.  The only aspect that approaches
a downside is that after I was back at work, I got a little tired
of people, mostly women, saying how wonderful my husband was to
take a 6 month leave of absence to take care of our baby.  Yes,
he is wonderful, but no one thought that I was wonderful for doing the
exact same thing, i.e. 6 month leave of absence and 6 months of
supporting our family.  We have similar jobs and similar salaries. In my
case, folks commented on how wonderful my employer was to let me
do this.  I don't dispute that either, because it is a wonderful
benefit.  I only wish to point out an example of men and women doing
the exact same thing and society interprets it differently.
From: ian@ohm.york.ac.uk (I Stephenson)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Showers with SOs
Date: 21 Jan 93 10:36:57 GMT
Reply-To: ian@ohm.york.ac.uk
Organization: Electronics Department, University of York, UK

In article <1ji99o$c27@agate.berkeley.edu> stoll@ocf.berkeley.edu (Cliff Stoll)  
writes:
> 
> Kyle Davis writes:
> >        There was a movie on the local PBS about computer crime.  
> >  One of the scenes showed the hero taking a shower with his girlfriend.  
> 
> You betcha!
> 
> 
> British viewers of ITV saw a different production, which had a scene 
> from the Calistoga mudbaths.  Best part:  while they adjusted cameras and
> set the lights, we wallowed for for two hours ...  Mmmmmmm.
> 
> -- cliff stoll  (Hero?  Naw, just an astronomer)

Any more info on this movie (based on Cuckoo's Egg I presume...)? I guess I  
missed it when it was on over here. I'd have really liked to see it.

Ian Stephenson
From: ssimmons@convex.com (Steve Simmons)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: >>>> need money advice - how do we spend money on ourselves?
Date: 26 Jan 93 15:57:42 GMT
Article-I.D.: convex.ssimmons.728063862
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

The only answer is to reach agreement between both of you on whatever 
you choose. Every approach has a pro and con and so you must reach 
a consensus. 

> I guess we could give ourselves a monthly allowance

Yes, this allows both of you to spend whatever money you want.  The other
person has no right to moan about it.   Like any allowance, it may make 
it harder for either to splurge since it can take awhile  for the amount
to accrue.  You may want a real neat camcorder or she may want a nice, 
new dress. 

> Maybe we need separate checking accounts

Sure, but some people don't like this because it does not give them the
feeling of being married. 

Both my wife and I had been working for several years before we got 
married and so we defined our assets as yours, mine, and ours.  This
has been effective for us.  Any splurging comes from own accounts or 
from our joint account with consensus.  Even if I want to splurge from
my own account, I will talk it over with Jane, my wife. 

Whatever you do, it has got to be reached by consensus so that you 
both feel happy about the arrangement.  Also, you must be 
able to adapt to changes.  What if she gets a job???  What if she
gets pregnant???? What if you lose your job???  
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: kapa@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (k.a.perkins)
Subject: Re: A Question...
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 17:05:20 GMT
Summary: what about the second kid?

In article <1jsvk0INNlp0@gap.caltech.edu>, peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri) writes:
> demetri@cgrg.ohio-state.edu  writes:
> 
> >That only concerns me because we plan to
> >hyphenate our child's name and I would like people to get that straight.
> 
> If they didn't get your name straight, what makes you think they'll 
> get your child's name straight.

Excellent point.
> 
> I suggest using one of the surnames as your child's middle name:
What about the second kid then?  Should s/he get the same middle
name as the first or a different one?  I don't disagree with the
idea but it doesn't seem like a  general solution.

kap
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 09:31:54 EST
From: Sonja Kueppers <SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Sex After Childbirth

In article <1993Jan21.234924.11391@ctp.com>, sthor@ctp.com (Sarah Thornburg)
says:
>
>For a variety of reasons, then, I would suggest a weekend away - just the two
>of you without baby (much as you love him).  This will give both of you a
>chance to recuperate, relax, and hopefully rekindle that sex drive (and
>romance) for both of you.  And give yourselves the chance to focus on each
>other (and yourselves individually) again.

I think it's important to remember, too, that it may take more than 2 days
for someone's sex drive to recharge!  I find that if I haven't had
sex for a while, it may take me up to a week to get really interested in
it again.  (depending on various other factors, including the point
in my cycle.)  So, if she's not interested in sex on the romantic
weekend, it doesn't mean she never wants to have sex again.  Maybe
she's just not able to get back into it in such a short time.  Try not
to make her feel like the whole point behind the weekend is to have
sex.  That will just make her feel like she's under pressure.  (in fact,
it may be a good idea to vow *not* to have sex during the weekend unless
*she* initiates it.)  Concentrate on doing things you enjoy and pampering
each other with backrubs and the like.

-Sonja
-----------------------------Sonja Kueppers------------------------------
|SEK@PSUVM (bitnet)            ____  "Sex should be friendly.  Otherwise|
|SEK@PSUVM.psu.edu             \bi/   stick to mechanical toys; it's    |
|MaBellNet: (814) 867-1738      \/    more sanitary." TEFL, Heinlein    |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: Great strip joints
Organization: AT&T
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 15:26:18 GMT

In article <1993Jan26.214434.1468@newshub.ccs.yorku.ca> sosc1048@wc11.writer.yorku.ca (Joel Cohen) writes:

<The hopelessly sexless gain computer access, and ask:>

>Please tell me where I can find this strip club, so that I may view 
>women the way they were meant to be viewed!

Signing your paycheck?
>
>Thank you guys and girls who respond.  P.S. If any girl wants to give me 
>SH@T over this posting better be HOT, otherwise I'm not listening.

I got here just minutes ago.  You can go out
and wrap your lips around my exhaust manifold if you want.

>                          ONE MAN - ONE Can!

Gads.  You Republicans keep leaving the door open.  :-)
-- 
-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+
Nance Colucci                                      att!ihlpl!colucci
"In the next life, I should like to come back as your trousers."-BPC
-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+-+*+
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: demetri@cgrg.ohio-state.edu 
Subject: A Question
Organization: OSU Advanced Computing Center for the Arts and Design
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 01:42:09 GMT

In reference to men changing their names, I just remembered that I know of
a man who got married over the summer and hyphenated his name.  I found
this out when a student asked for him and he had a her name-his name
combination.  Initially I wanted to resist using it (his original name is
so much easier to pronounce).  Shame on me!  But it occurs to me that, as
hard a time as I sometimes have getting people to call me by my birth name,
I wonder what reaction men get.  Maybe something like "yeah, that's cute"
but many people still use his birth name.  Not that "people having a
problem with it means he should back down.  It has been suggested that we
give our children my name as a middle name because people will never get
the hyphenated name right.  We have discussed it, and just don't find it
satisfactory.  So we are prepared to go a little out of our way to educate
people.

Back to the men, it reminds me of a case where a colleague of mine had
twins and her husband got strange reactions from his empoloyer about his
decision to take a few weeks of leave.  How unfortunate that when a man
does try to take a more modern approach, he gets so little support.

Renee
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: kevin@clsi.COM (Kevin Cameron)
Subject: Re: Sex After Childbirth
Originator: kevin@dubhe
Reply-To: kevin@clsi.com
Organization: CAD Language Systems Inc.
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 93 15:53:51 GMT


In article <1jka22$lio@spool.mu.edu>, kevin@kevins.frontiertech.com writes:
> 
> I have tried many times to rekindle her interest. I am pretty much
> out of ideas. Any comments or suggestions would be welcome.

Seek professional help, it's unlikely that this problem is unique to you.

Kev.

--
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: RE:Wedding Music Suggestions
From: pkumar@oread.cc.ukans.edu
Date: 23 Jan 93 00:21:47 CST
Organization: University of Kansas Academic Computing Serces

For wedding music, I suggest starting with your music director at your church
synagogue or place of worship uy(if applicable).  Larger churches and places of
worship will have wonderful supplies of music for all occasion.  Many churches
often have a music direcotr full time on their staff.  Moreoever, many churches
have the sheet music for organ, piano, choirs, symphonies, or whatever type of
music you have in mind.  Often they will have taped music for you to listen to.
 Keep in mind that you can also go to Christian book/music stores and listen to
tapes under wedding music while you are in the store.  Sheet music and song
books are e also avaliable available at Christaian book/music stores.  I
personally like the Glory and Praise song book series of Volumes 1, 2, and 3. 
By the way, they put out sheet music for guitar, piano, organ, instrumental,
and voice for Glory and Praise.  They may even have taped music for Glory and
Praaise.  Christian book/music stores will have wedding music for solo
performances with the intr instruments taped only along with the music for
voice (both high and low voices).  THere are also tapes for wedding marhces for
the entrance and the exit at weddings.  I enjoyed the song titled, Beginning
Today in the Glory and Priase Volume 3 book by text by Mike Balhoff and music
by Darryl Ducote, op copyright 1973.  Also in the same b volume is By name I
have called you by Carey Landry.  I used City of God in Volume 3 for a
gathering song.  City of God is by DAn Schutte and is a  an ubeat up beat type
of song which is really enjoyable.  Also, try All the Ends of the Earth (Glory
and Praise - forget forgot the volume #).  Sea  Set a Seal on my Heart is alos
nice.  Come and Joun the song Come and Journey with me is in the Glory and
Praise books and is a really nice song I used as a prelude type of music for
the entrancing of mothers and grandparents.  The processional music chosen was
Trumpet Tune in D Major by Purcell.  Communicon su  Communion song was one
Bread, One Body.  Gospel Acclamation wa was Celtic Alleluia.  After blessing
and exchange of vows and rings, The Wedding Song (This is the Day) was o song. 
Recessional was Trumpet Voluntary in D Major by Purcell.  Hope this helsp you. 
Have a wonderfully musical wedding!a wdffOR fOR

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: A Question...
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 05:58:06 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
Keywords: last names
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <106120@netnews.upenn.edu> pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo) writes:

>Here's a question that I'd like people's opinions on:  What do you
>think about the practice of a woman taking the man's last name when
>they get married?

I pretty much expect that my future wife will keep her name, since
that's what she was raised with, though if she wanted to change her
name in some way, I would not have a problem with that.  The work
of explaining to people that we are married but have different names
goes with the territory.

>I know a few men who seem to think it is solely a woman's problem and
>solely her decision.  She has the option of keeping her name or taking
>his or hyphenating them, but he does not expect to have to do anything
>at all.

I am not really willing to change my name, or at least my last name;
I don't really think that the advantages are worth the hassle at this
point, and I don't think I'm being unfair because I don't expect my
partner to do anything different.

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"Shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have all of this,
 and, passionate kisses, passionate kisses, passionate kisses, from you?"
- "Passionate Kisses" Lucinda Williams
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: lugsden@flotsm.ozy.dec.com (Keith Lugsden)
Subject: Re: A Question of Etiquette
Reply-To: lugsden@flotsm.ozy.dec.com (Keith Lugsden)
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 00:00:34 GMT

In article <93018.171434SEK@psuvm.psu.edu>, SEK@psuvm.psu.edu (Sonja Kueppers) |> 
|> For example, I have made the informed decision not to use
|> "u" in "honor" and "favor" on my wedding invitations, because
|> I think it's silly.  I realize that some guests will consider it
|> improper and flying in the face of tradition.
|> 

I'm intrigued. I thought Americans dropped the 'u' from all those words. Has 
it reappeared in wedding invitations?

Keith
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: mack23@avalon.eecs.nwu.edu (Chris Walsh)
Subject: Re: A Question of Etiquette
Organization: EECS Department, Northwestern University
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 22:48:02 GMT

In article <1993Jan17.190619.9906@netcom.com> rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix) writes:

>A different perspective on ettiquette:
>
>I am paying about 150 dollars per person for the wedding I am having
>next month. I wouldn't bother inviting *anyone* who was not extremely
>happy about our upcoming marriage.We carefully invited people we
>believed would share our joy. I suggest that anyone you even suspect
>would criticize your invitation style, your dress or anything else at
>your wedding should be eliminated from the guest list! This is a day
>to share with people who really love you. 

Dude:  I can "really love you" and snicker because your behavior merits
it.  Loving someone does not imply never criticizing them -- at least not
in my book.  In my opinion, couples all-too-often feel that since they 
are paying alot for a wedding, that everyone present has to behave in
some fairy-tale choreographed manner in order for the day to be "perfect".

If you spend $12,000 on a car, do you ask similar behavior of those
who ride in it as passengers?


Oh, to get back to the subject:  Omit the "Dr." bit.  Save it for when
the guy actually needs to visit an M.D.  After the receptionist refers
to your hubby by his first name, and the physician as "Dr. So-and-so",
THEN and only then, should "Dr." be demanded.


Chris "Ph.D. candidate as revenge against M.D.'s" Walsh

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: kapa@cbnewsc.cb.att.com (k.a.perkins)
Subject: Re: A Question...
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 16:56:49 GMT
Summary: unusual names
Keywords: last names

In article <1jppk2INN9b3@shelley.u.washington.edu>, webers@stein.u.washington.edu (Sandra Weber) writes:
> pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo) writes:
> 
> >Here's a question that I'd like people's opinions on:  What do you
> >think about the practice of a woman taking the man's last name when
> >they get married?
> 
>   Personally, it would depend on the guy's last name...my current SOs last
> name is pretty interesting, and mine's pretty boring in comparison, so I 
> wouldn't mind taking his at all.
My 2 best friends took their husband's names when they married.
One hated her own last name - it was hard for strangers to pronounce
and spell, etc, and she liked his better.  They got divorced and she's
back to her birth name.

The other was a disappointment to me.  Her birth name is Galipeau, which
is unusual and (I think) very pretty.  Her husband's  name is Johnson,
which is pretty common, so I was sorry to see her lose Galipeau in favor
of that, but so it goes.  She said recently that when she was in grade
school, there was a girl with the same first name as hers whose last
name was Johnson whom she never liked and so it wasn't too thrilling
to share a name with her.
Newsgroups: soc.couples