From: rstenson@spartan.ac.BrockU.CA (Ronald Ernest Stenson)
Subject: Family fun ...
Organization: Brock University, St. Catharines Ontario
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 02:44:31 GMT

A few of yours and a few of mine.  If you have any more - post them.
I'll try to keep up and compile a final list in a while.

What do you call a ...

Man with no arms and no legs ...

Les
Buried in your back yard                        Pete
Sitting in front of your door                   Mat
Floating in a pool                              Bob
Lying in a ditch                                Phil
Hanging on a wall                               Art
Holding up your car                             Jack
Buried under leaves                             Russel
Layered in your back yard                       Clay
With a hexagonal penis                          Alan
Sitting in a crock pot                          Stu
Trying to water-ski                             Skip
Thrown in the garbage                           Chuck
In your mailbox                                 Bill
In your cookie jar                              Chip
Stuck in your bathroom                          John
Who's dead and has left behind money            Will
Lying in a meadow                               Glen
Lying in a marsh                                Reid
Hanging on the side of a mountain               Cliff
With a loud voice                               Mike
Who's sick to his stomach                       Felix
Holding up a liquor store                       Robin
On the side of a 1972 Ford                      Rusty
Sitting in a farm yard                          Barney
In a typical customer service booth             Kurt
Who was run over by a steam roller              Mark
Who does Shakespeare and plays hockey           Puck
Who does Shakespeare and programs computers     Oberon
Who does Shakespeare and grunts like a pig      Hamlett
Who smells like sweat and runners               Jim
In a bombed out Bosnian village                 Oliver
Hanging between your legs                       Peter or Dick
Lying in a pumpkin patch                        Gord
Sailing over the fence                          Homer
In your kitchen sink                            Dwaine
In a plastic bag on a boat                      Ralph
In the bottom of your piggy bank                Buck
Droning on in lecture hall                      Boris
In a bun at the stadium                         Frank
In a quicksand bog                              Fucked

A black man floating on the ocean               Bouy

Telling the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth                       Frank

What do you call two men with no arms and no legs ...

Hanging over your window                        Curt 'n Rod

What do you call a ...

Woman with no arms and one leg against a wall             Ilene
Japanese woman with no arms and one leg against a wall    Irene
Woman with no arms and no legs on a wire fence            Barb
Lying in a cow field                                      Patty
In a court room                                           Sue
In the bottom of your piggy bank                          Penny
Supporting your ceiling                                   Joyce
Blowing across the desert                                 Lois


Dog with no legs        It doesn't matter he can't come anyway.
Cow with no legs        Ground beef
Cow with no front legs  Lean beef
A fox with one leg      Terry

Please feel free to distribute these without any recourse to my
name.

rstenson@spartan.ac.brocku.ca
Does anyone else get a little concerned when driving through West Virginia
and seeing a huge sign announcing a pumpkin festival?        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                                    ^^^^^^^