From: cmclark@dri.com (Chip Clark)
Subject: Re: Coping w/ Husbands!
Reply-To: cmclark@novell.com
Organization: Desktop Systems Group/Novell, Monterey CA/USA
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 92 23:53:35 GMT

J032300@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM writes:

]Hi there - Can I please ask the advice of some of you out there?  I have been
]married for 3 1/2 years, and I love my husband very much, and I know he loves
]me, but sometimes he just drives me crazy.  He runs his own business and we
]had a agreement that for 5 yrs I would support us while he tries to make it
]succeed.  He is good at it - (builds racing engines) and has a small but
]loyal customer base. Anyway, I can't deal with it when I get home from work
]and the house is a mess, and he is sitting on the couch watching t.v. in the
]same position I left him in.  He told me yesterday he was going to do certain
]things related to the business, and then he didn't.  The phone recorder was
]full of messages he didn't return.  I cannot handle it when he tells me he
]is going to do something and then doesn't.  Meantime the dishes aren't washed,
]laundry isn't done, etc.  I work full time and go to school too, and run the
]household.  I don't know if I can last 5 yrs - it's only been 2.
]Financially things are just a mess, but we manage to make the house payment
]each month.
]Can I have the wisdom and advice of some long-time marrieds out there?
]Don't get me wrong- he is a good man, and when he works, he works hard.
]But his disorganization and laziness are wearing me down.
]Please help!
]Lori


My wife and I are at 12 Years and counting to 75! - The hardest thing about 
being your own boss is the motivation to do it everyday.  The same can be said
of housework.  I like a clean house.  My wife like a clean house.  Our kids
like a clean house, but no one likes to clean house.  

I spent a number of years in sales, while my wife dutifully support my efforts
to get ahead.  I did succeed, but only after learning one major step.  5 P's

PERFECT PLANNING PRODUCES PERFECT PERFORMANCE!!!

He can hardly be expected to accomplish anything if he doesn't have a goal in
mind.  If he has no goal he has already lost.  

Sit down with him and plan out where he (You) would like the business to be
in a year and a half ( or 2 or 4 or however long).  But set a date and a goal.
Then, decide what it will take to get there.

EXAMPLE

The business to support the two of you.
	average income per year of $30,000

to make 30,000 he will need to sell 10 Engines (I know nothing about engines
so these are just figures out of the blue).

to sell 10 engines per year he will need 30 customers buying nearly every 
year.

Does he have 30 customers?  How can he get 30 Customer? - Can existing 
customers create new business?


then make a plan to gain X number of customers each month.  don't 
get discouraged if the first few months you don't make your quota, but 
keep trying.  The X number should be larger than the the sum total needs
to be because some customers will be lost, for whatever reason.

Now he has a goal.  

The next step in making his goal, is creating a daily plan and sticking to
it.  Fail the plan and you plan to fail!!!

Make calls to new customers.  So much time in the shop.  So much time on the
house work.  A clean house will go along way to improving both of your 
attitudes.  

Now, what you can do.  Work with him on building his plan.  and check on
him.  Ask him how he did on his plan.  Don't make him feel bad if he didn't 
work his plan, but remind him that the plan is what works, and if he works 
the plan he will succeed.

Work with him and see if you (two) can see the dream as a united front, rather
than you doing one thing, so he can do another.  Partnership is what a marriage
is and running a business (or building one) needs the support a good marriage
can provide.

you have the heart and the hope, but you need a plan.


There are a number of good books on sales, Tommy Hopkins is one of the best.
The idea of being a salesman is not necessarily appealing to everyone (I am
not one at present, though successful while in the business, I took time off 
to create), the ideas behind sales can help build character and hope, and 
cetainly improve a marriage.


Chip