HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: davidv@yang.earlham.edu (Excitable Boy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Overheard (pt. 11)
Summary: Kinda long.  The "twist" is at the end.
Keywords: They left the party soon afterwards, together.
Date: 5 Nov 92 09:42:10 GMT
Reply-To: lvacca@saintmarys.edu
Distribution: world
Organization: Yardsticks for Lunatics


   She:  What I don't like about Augustine's conception of God is
that Augustine's God is entirely Apollonian in nature.  I believe
that, to be meaningful, a religious experience must have a mystical
element to it, something that is entirely intuitive.  Augustine
limits the mystical revelation to telling us that he's being mystical
when in truth he's being formulaic.

   He:  Far be it from me to defend Augustine, which has been your
role so far this evening, but I believe that you're restating, in a
negative light, one of the few things Augustine did right.  He is
being very "logical" in his theology, if one can use that word to
describe Augustine without debasing the term beyond all hope of
recovery.  Where this is important is that Augustine is writing for
a general audience, to whom he could not communicate any mystical
experience he had in any way that would give his readers any kind of
understanding of that experience, given the limitations of language.
All he could give them was the logical side of theology.  You can't
communicate revelations, you can just have them.

   She:  I think you can.  In fact, I think that theology, philosophy,
art, and literature would be meaningless if you couldn't.  The great
artist, or writer, does communicate intuitive experiences in such a way
that, when you see the work, or read the words, you _know_ that there's
something very basic contained there.

   He:  Are you as horny as I am?

   She:  Hornier, probably.


---
David Vacca, Just an Excitable Boy.

	    [My net access is erratic- please e-mail followups]
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (Dr. Robert (BoB) Tech)
Subject: 1:21 12:24
Organization: Cappo Ferra 6
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 08:26:43 GMT


nothing gets your feet colder longer than riding in wintertime
w/ only a pair of sweats & a pair a jeans between you & the 60
mph air.  brought tears to my eyes.  actually, that was the 
wind. 1:22.  fought my way through traffic to san pablo to do 
a callback for a play i KNOW i have a part in.  i may even have
more than one part, depending on how sean decides to use my
dubious talent. i'm an actor, possibly one of only six actors
on this net.  at least on this newsgroup.  1:24.  time becomes
silly putty when you're on long rides.  can't look at a watch,
and if you have any brains in your head you clock distance 
rather than time.  60 mph : 60 mi = 1 hr.  more or less.  
didn't really matter, esp. on the empty stretches that make up
most of kansas (delta v).  1:25.  fractured time sense.
you may be waiting for me to say something clever.  stop.  
i did long ago.
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: My early Christmas present to you all.
Date: 10 Nov 92 17:11:39 GMT
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

First we have an exchange of pleasantries:

)Jon Gefaell writes:
)|rpwhite writes:
)|Well, they say the proof of the pudding is in the eating so let's see you
)|offer Roger Carasso (carasso@inference.com) an account.
)Oh, so who is this Roger Carrusso? The Banished CPU dude? Whoever he
)is, if he's interested in an account, perhaps he could be given one.
======================================================================
Then we see this show up:

From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
======================================================================
Then we verify:

finger carasso@turing.org
[turing.org] 
Login name: carasso   			In real life: Roger Carasso
last login Mon Nov  9 12:19 on pts/1 from FOURIER.INFERENC
=====================================================================

rp -- Merry Christmas
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Need advice from people in college fraternities
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Followups-To: misc.test
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 22:46:36 GMT

<IK10015@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> writes:
>our cllege fraternity (Kappa Delta Phi)
>is looking for some excellent fund raisers that
>require little overhead expenses.

I hear pyramid schemes work well over the net.  Try some posts in
misc.test and just watch the results.
--
mr asynchronous                                   kschnitzius@encore.com
From: ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Advice for insomniacs
Date: 10 Nov 1992 20:07:29 GMT
Organization: finchhaus
NNTP-Posting-Host: helen.oit.itd.umich.edu
Keywords: rot13

In article <gerald.721367248@gerald> gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com writes:
>		GERALD'S YUMMY HONEY MILK
>
>Ingredients:
>
>1 cup milk			1 tsp. honey
>
>Directions:
>
>Heat milk in microwave for 2 mins on MED-HIGH. (Make sure you have your
>mother's permission to use the microwave). When it's done, add the honey
>and stir. Makes one serving.

AjD's adequate-tasting mochamilk

ingredients:
8 oz. cold milk
3 tbsp. ovaltine {tm}
2 oz. kahlua liqueur {tm}

directions:
mix vigorously, serve in large coffee cup; small paper umbrella optional.

AjD
-- 
                       ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu
'i have had my ups and downs but wotthehell wotthehell' -- mehitabel
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Singles
Date: 11 Nov 92 22:49:02 GMT
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Originator: jcarroll@ferris


In article <1992Nov10.005533.11473@microsoft.com>, benth@microsoft.com (Ben) writes:
> I finally broke down and went to see 'Singles'. It was
> a hoot. I especially liked the goofy way they dressed everyone.
> See, Chris from Soundgarden dressed like that a couple of times
> in 1989, unfortunately in front of a camera. 
> 
> The only people who wear long underwear under cutoffs with flannel
> shirts around here (especially on a stage) are gomers who moved
> to Seattle to become Rock Stars, and kids from the suburbs who don't
> know any better. Oh yeah, and Pat Finnerty when he lived here.
> 
> I have no joke, I just like saying 'Moved to Seattle to become
> Rock Stars'.

Say, Ben, when was the last time you were actually west of the lake?

Nobody wants to watch movies about Boeing engineers or Microsoft weenies,
even if they are 60% of the population. Besides, the Bellevue police have
standing orders to shoot flannel shirts on sight, except around BHS.

And it's not as if all those rock stars moved to Seattle from New York.

jkc (ex-boeing engineer)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh)
Subject: Re: City Driving Observation #27
Organization: Cornell Theory Center
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 20:09:22 GMT

In article <MJD.92Nov10132907@saul.cis.upenn.edu> mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] The One True Cross") writes:
>    In fact, the lights turn out to be timed for *all* sufficiently
>great speeds S that exceed some minimum magic value.  You can prove this
>rigorously, but it's quite clear: If you go fast enough, you can zoom
>from one end of the city to the other before *any* of the lights have a
>chance to turn red.

He's right, I just did it in my Hyndai 'Scoupe'. Don't fuck with this man.
He knows what he's talking about.

mdw

-- 
Matt Welsh    mdw@tc.cornell.edu        +1 607 253 2737
Systems Programmer, Cornell Theory Center
  "She's like jelly roll, like sculpture!"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] The One True Cross")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: City Driving Observation #27
Date: 10 Nov 92 18:29:07 GMT
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: richh@netcom.com's message of 10 Nov 92 16:41:03 GMT

In article <1992Nov10.164103.8480@netcom.com> richh@netcom.com (richh) writes:
>   "If the lights are timed for 35, they're also timed for 70."

    It's hardly worth mentioning that this isn't true, and I wouldn't
have brought it up if I didn't have something substantive to add.
 
    If the lights are timed for a speed S1, then there's definitely some
speed S2>S1 such that the lights are also timed for S2, (left as
exercise for interested reader) but it needn't be an integer multiple of
S1.

    Hold on, I'm not done.  Replace S1 with S2 in the previous
statement.  Since the lights are timed for S2, there is a speed S3 > S2
such that the lights are also timed for S3.

    You can see that there are arbitrarilty fast speeds S for which the
lights are timed.

    In fact, the lights turn out to be timed for *all* sufficiently
great speeds S that exceed some minimum magic value.  You can prove this
rigorously, but it's quite clear: If you go fast enough, you can zoom
from one end of the city to the other before *any* of the lights have a
chance to turn red.

    I hope nobody is foolish enough to think this is one of those dry
matchematical discussions with no practical application.


    
--

                And for to se, and eek for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: lstewart@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca (L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058)
Subject: Breaking up is hard to do.
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 19:46:54 GMT

This week I broke up with my girlfriend. We had lived together for     
two years and this weekend she moves out. I came home last night
with a NEXT t-shirt on. Bandage on forehead today.
From: damianj@castle.ed.ac.uk (Damian Jackson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Everything so far
Date: 5 Nov 92 20:51:09 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

cah@pavonis.JPL.NASA.gov (Allen Halsell) writes:

>No disrespect intended, but what the hell do we need this newsgroup
>for?  It's impossible to create a group that is ONLY constructive
>or even only destructive (see alt.fan.d-q).  So why don't we take
>this back over with the rest of the ranting on alt.pol.clinton?

>Same for the alt.democrat groups.

No disrespect intended, but what the hell do we need you 
for? It's impossible to create a flame that is ONLY concerning
your cross-post or even only about NASA (see alt.money.bin). So
why don't you take your post and shove it where the sun don't shine?

Same for the comp.sys.mac groups.

Damian
damianj@castle.ed.ac.uk
--
Talk.bizarre official 1992-93 posting game rules.
-------------------------------------------------

The rules are:

(1) If you post in talk.bizarre you are fair game.
(2) If you post in misc.test you are fair game.
(3) In case of emergency, deny everything.
(4) If you have to ask, fuck off.
--
Sheeesh. I can cross-post. Can I please have a CM5 now?
From: echeverr@scf.usc.edu (5150)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Another mystery solved (was Re: UFO EVIDENCE VS. Carl Sagan)
Date: 5 Nov 1992 01:22:52 -0800
Organization: <censored>
NNTP-Posting-Host: girtab.usc.edu

In article <1992Nov4.185827.2124@cnsvax.uwec.edu> mcelwre@cnsvax.uwec.edu writes:
)                           UFO EVIDENCE VS. Carl Sagan
)    
)               I should think that by now he would have heard about the 
)          Roswell Incident in which UFO WRECKAGE and ALIEN BODIES were 
)          found on a ranch (in New Mexico, I think), gathered up by the 
)          U.S. military, and hidden away in an Air Force hanger 
)          somewhere.  The wreckage included materials NOT KNOWN on 
)          Earth, and some of it even had ALIEN SYMBOLS written on it.  
)          All of this was witnessed by many People, both civilian and 
)          military.  A couple of years ago, the TV program "Unsolved 
)          Mysteries" showed an excellent segment about the incident. 


So THAT'S what those damn frat boys did with my car.


5150

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: Sleepless night
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 01:25:11 GMT

In <7902@skye.ed.ac.uk> ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson) writes:
>Just after midnight on Monday, a female friend-of-a-friend (I won't name her)

Good.  She probably already had one.
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: LIFE BEFORE LAVA
Date: 11 Nov 92 19:24:24 GMT
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA


In article <1992Nov11.145904.554@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> dvacca@nyx.cs.du.edu (David Vacca) writes:

   Hello.  My name is David Vacca and I am a Cave Newt.  I was normally shy
   until I found computers.  Then I stumbled on to talk.bizarre.  I
   didn't understand what it was about but I liked the "fucking" part of
   "fucking cave newt".  I thought it would be a good way to meet grils
   and I figured I could get used to the volcanoes.  Boy, was I wrong.
   God damned volcanoes.

   ---
   David Vacca, Just an Excitable Boy, at least until we get 
		this whole Rim Jockey thing cleared up.


It's OK Dave.  The first part of recovery is recognizing that you have
a problem.
From: jvogel@math.rutgers.edu (jeff vogel)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Muzak
Keywords: Muzak, scirosis, and Batsuana
Date: 12 Nov 92 17:36:49 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

bkeiper@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Bryan S Keiper) writes:


>     Ok, _Smells Like Teen Spirit_ would undoubtedly suck done to Muzak.  No
>argument here.  Personally, I feel it couldn't happen to a nicer group of
>guys.  However, Wait until you've heard _Light My Fire_ by the Doors or
>even _Stairway To Heavin'_, Err... _Stairway To Heavan_ by Zeppelin.  It is
>not pretty, No siree it is not.

During one of the darker, more angstful periods of my life, I worked as an
inventory auditor, one of those people who goes to supermarkets and counts
up the prices of everything in the store. Boring work.

Plus, we had to listen to several different muzak tapes everyday. And let
me tell ya', you haven't lived until you've heard _three_ different
Muzak versions of The Fool on the Hill in the day.

The peppy, jazzy one was my favorite. And let me tell ya', it takes a lot
of work to make Fool on the Hill peppy and jazzy.

I beat the manager to death with a lead pipe.

					- Jeff Vogel
					Rutgers math
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: larryh@cabezon.uucp (Larry Huntley)
Subject: Re: short shameful xmas confession
Organization: Logic Modeling Inc of Beaverton Oregon
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 02:10:12 GMT

In article <4256@cvbnetPrime.COM> mdm@sparc2.prime.com (Michael D. McAfee) writes:
>
>	my dad has a cooler xmas wish list than I do
>
>	Michael, the Chaotic

    Steal it.
-- 
         (larryh@lmc.com)         |         --TALK.BIZARRE-- 
     Logic Modeling Corporation   |      The Suppurating Abcess
          Beaverton,  OR          | of the INTERNET - Dr. Donald Wildmon
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: AMAZING DISCOVERIES OF THE 20th CENTURY...
Organization: The Turing Project, Charlottesville Virginia.
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 22:28:29 GMT



AMAZING DISCOVERIES OF THE 20th CENTURY...

this week,


MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGHS!

in rec.pets, sarah@albnyvms.bitnet writes:
)One daym, I saw my pet rat choking and had to give him the
)Heimlich maneuver and out popped a piece of bone.  It's funny in
)a sick kind of way to imagine giving it to a rat, but I had
)no difficulkty - I hjust used the heel of my hand ad and popped him
)under the ribs.  He looksed kind of surprised, but MUCH happier.




carasso,
unkillable
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: US election
Date: 6 Nov 92 15:33:13 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


In article <27717@castle.ed.ac.uk> tjc@castle.ed.ac.uk (A J Cunningham)
writes:

#  Am I alone in being dismayed at the fact that the President of the
#  United States is a man who, by his own admission, can't smoke a joint
#  properly?
#  
#  Tony "I would have voted Zappa myself" Cunningham

Now if you'd changed from (Last_Line --> First_name " Quote " Last_name)
to (Last_Line --> Adverb , Full_name) like the kool krowd, you could
have signed this article `jointly, Tony Cunningham'. 

sig-nificantly, Ken Johnson


-- 
                                  //// Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
Don't get off while it's moving. ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
                                ////                  E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
                               ////       Phone 031-650 2756  Fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dvacca@nyx.cs.du.edu (David Vacca)
Subject: Grasping at straws...
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 21:59:25 GMT

     After seeing a spate of postings with "Overheard" in the 
title, I dared to dream that I had inspired a new talk.bizarre
posting form- to wit, eavesdropping worse than Nixon for the
sake of a fleeting witticism.

---
David Vacca, Just an Excitable Boy.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (Dr. Robert (BoB) Tech)
Subject: they will take away
Organization: Cappo Ferra 6
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 05:04:06 GMT

explosives rocked my world as i scrambled for cover.  for a bout a 
second i wondered if drieux was right, then i was dodging bits of 
the shattuck hotel. i decided he was right.  unfortunately, it was
a bit late to become philosophical about it now.  i needed to find
my bike and a safe path out.

seems some "fuck the police" protesters (most of whom had never 
committed a crime larger than jaywalking) had met headlong with
sonny barger's welcome home committee.  ooo boy it was a fine 
piece of drama.  telegraph got looted - this is new?  the truly
poetic part was when the angels tracked down the opportunistic
assholes robbing in the name of revolution and made them bring 
back the stuff and APOLOGISE.  i was in stitches for hours.  i
would have been in stitches in weeks, but the sniper missed. 

although i wasn't an official angel, i rode a hog, and that was
passport enough, at least for a while.  that was my theory as i
ducked a molotov.  it splattered against what used to be a ross 
dress-for-less (now deprived of its inventory).  the cops, who 
didn't like the angels "taking the law into their own hands,"
had words with barger's boys, who (being known for their fondness
for law officers) replied in kind.  some asshole who probably
wanted to get a lot of money for a videotape of a riot threw
bricks at cops and bikers alike until gunplay occurred.

as i scurred up street, toward the tunnel and hopefully some 
safety, i saw a hand held video camera shattered in the street.
at least there's some justice in this world.

albany was pretty quiet.  most of the locals were in their houses 
and trying to lie low.  my bike was where i left it, up on its 
stand.  there were a few spiderwebs on it, but that's because we
have really industrious spiders in this neighborhood.  i unlocked
the door to the apartment, went in, and armored up.  i knew i should
have gotten a new helmet after the incident with the deadfall trap,
but who has the time?  

the bike started on the third try (just cold), and i let it warm 
up for a moment while i plotted my course.  580 was a no-go, i knew
that.  the traffic was bad during normal time, i couldn't see it
improving now.  best to keep to the frontage roads till powell, then
cut over to 92.  at least that would get me out of the war zone.

as i blitzed past an overturned taker truck i realized that i had
no helmet for ami.

 
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:37204 alt.fan.rush-limbaugh:8145 alt.rush-limbaugh:9216
From: bd@fluent@dartmouth.EDU (Brice Dowaliby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.rush-limbaugh
Subject: Re: bleeding hearts
Date: 7 Nov 92 14:13:51 GMT
Reply-To: bd%fluent@dartmouth.EDU
Distribution: usa
Organization: Fluent Inc., Lebanon NH

haushalt@research.nj.nec.com (Robert C. Haushalter) writes:

>On Thu, 5 Nov 1992 18:06:42 GMT you said:
>
>>In fact, it is very common for conservative
>Republicans to openly make fun of the compassion expressed by liberal
>Democrats.  This is why they use the expression "bleeding-heart liberal"
>so often.
>
>
>This "bleeding-heart-liberal" is such an interesting phrase.  It is 
>apparently in reference to the pictures of Jesus Christ (usually 
>holding his shirt open) with his heart in his chest dripping blood.  
>Right-wingers always use this term. . . . so do they mean:
>(1)  That liberals are Christ-like?  or
>(2)  That liberals and Jesus Christ are both jerks?
>
>Just wondering......

I have never seen an image of Christ with his heart pierced - the
wound is always much lower in the chest than that.  I have also
never seen an image of Christ where he is "holding his shirt open".

Robert, what ever made you think that "bleeding-heart" was a reference
to Christ?
-- 
   Brice Dowaliby, Fluent Inc., 10 Cavendish Court, Lebanon, NH  03766
                         bd%fluent@dartmouth.edu        
             I don't speak for them, they don't speak for me
                              DoD # 0698
From: ilana@kiowa.scd.ucar.edu (Ilana)
Subject: The difference between men and women
Organization: NCAR/UCAR
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 21:48:01 GMT

If a man is shopping[*] for blue jeans, and one size is a little too tight
and the next size up is a little too loose, he'll buy the bigger size.

If a woman is shopping for blue jeans, and one size is a little too tight
and the next size up is a little too loose, she'll buy the smaller size.

[*] this has been observed to occur in nature, albeit infrequently

Ilana
there are a few other differences, too

-- 
/\     There may be honor among thieves, but there's none among politicians.
  \_][ <--NCAR Ilana Stern dod#009 r.b. cliff swallow ilana@ncar.ucar.edu    
      \______________________________________________________________________
Organization: University of Maine System
Date: Wednesday, 4 Nov 1992 21:37:51 EST
From: <IK10015@MAINE.MAINE.EDU>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Need advice from people in college fraternities

Hi,
our cllege fraternity (Kappa Delta Phi)
is looking for some excellent fund raisers that
require little overhead expenses. One good one we
use twice a semester is Kappa's "Slave Auction".
We "auction" the brothers during dinner time to
the people who carry money with them. The brother's
are "sold" to the highest bidders. The highest
bidders use the brother's for *only* three
hours. Some tasks performed are the following:
Cleaning multiple dorm rooms, washing floors etc.
We're looking for new fundraisers though, something
that makes "easy" money. please send
all responses via E-Mail
thanx,
__Michael
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Blood Clot Boy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: ssc
Date: 7 Nov 1992 07:14:39 GMT
Organization: The International House of Secretions
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4
Keywords: how can you have nostalgia for something you didn't live through? GX

In article <1992Nov6.071732.14934@netcom.com> thinman@netcom.com (Technically Sweet) writes:
*Ogawd, body piercing is sooooooo passe.  It was branding for awhile,
*but now it's POKING YOUR EYES OUT WITH A SHARPENED A-440 TUNING FORK.

Lessee now, it's called discission when you use a needle.  What's it
called when you use a tuning fork?


Mark "Lexographic curiosity" Lippert 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Another naming contest
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 18:44:29 GMT

bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton) writes:
>Cave newts.
>				--Blair
>				  "Promotion requires evolution,
>				   and I mean that literally."

10 A$="WELCOME TO T.B"
20 PRINT A$
30 GOTO 10

Everything basic evolves.

Else, how could we unload all these oversized blue jeans.
--
mr asynchronous                                   kschnitzius@encore.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre