HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Date: 14 Sep 92 22:54:42 GMT
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst

In article <1992Sep14.223348.3694@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (If you can't stand the drivin' get out of Massachusetts) writes:
>jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Sigfile Quotes 'R Us) writes:
>> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Evil Incarnate) writes:
>
>
>	"Warning: Do not adjust your set.  The color of these nipples has
>been set at the station."  But what color was the yak supposed to be?

The yak had been kidnapped by an outpost of overaged hippies who refuse
to believe that the 60s have ended.  He was bleached to as pale a shade
of canary yellow as a yak can be bleached to, then painted in Day-Glo paints,
pleasing to the eye, but very likely toxic to the yak.
 
Incidentally, the whipped cream is white, and the lime jello is of course
green, with vari-colored pieces of fruit suspended within it.

>
>	I will not suggest an alternative definition of "meat locker"
>because such would likely come back and haunt me later, but the pinch test
>requires the nipple be already protruding, hence it would be necessary to
>have you either in a cold environment or in a state of arousal.

Dan, I amy *only* be a B-cup, but believe me, my nipples stick out far enough
from my body, even in a totally relaxed state, to be quite graspable.

>
>	The position of Eye Candy has not yet been filled, nor very well
>defined as yet.  I'm sure we can figure out the job requirements and
>qualifications soon enough.  Your resume is on file, we'll get back to ya.
>

Oh, goody, goody, goody.  I can hardly wait to find out.  My heart's a-beatin'

Jenny

-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are NOT mine, I don't know *what* I was thinking....
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: you may already be a winner
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 14:54:24 GMT

!peeve: i have received word that i have made it to the third and
	final round of the publishers clearing house $10M sweepstakes.

peeve: upon asking SO "do you know anyone who's made it to the third round?"
	he responded "wait a minute, i haven't checked my mail yet."

-l "what ever shall i wear to the check receiving ceremony?" p


-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jen187@mis.csiro.au (Graham Jenkins +61 6 276 6812)
Subject: Lazaruslike.
Organization: CSIRO ITS
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 92 05:42:15 GMT

Finally our mail and news servers are working again which means
I can read alt.peeves. Oh what joy! Something to laugh at again!
Lurking in here is is one of the few bright spots in a dark and
depressing existence. A life of constant toil and misery  ... er,
hang on a minute, I may have got a little carried away there.

Why am I telling you all this?  No good reason at all, nothing
much better to do at the time. 

Peeve:  Multitudinous NETproblems.

!Peeve: Being able to lurk in alt.peeves again.

(Yes, I'm from Australia. NO, I'm in no way similar to DAC.)



-- 

|  Graham Jenkins          |  graham.jenkins@its.csiro.au           | 
|  CSIRO                   |  (Commonwealth Scientific & Industrial | 
|  Canberra,  AUSTRALIA    |  Research Organisation)                |
From: malc@pyramid.unr.edu (Malcolm L. Carlock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Please leave this seat to the intellectually challenged
Date: 12 Sep 92 19:45:23 GMT
Organization: Xinaian Tourist Bureau

In article <43459@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist) writes:
>For some reason, the whole carriage was shaking like
>mad, especially when the engine pulled it at what it thought to be top
>speed, and was about twice as fast as the fastest train when the carriages
>had been built.

You think that's bad -- the railroad cars used by Amtrak (the U.S. govt-
owned passenger railroad) were designed for speeds of 100 mph or more, but
due to deteriorated track in many places (at least in the west) are often
pulled at speeds of only 25-35 mph.

Peeve:   Coming back from a trip to Germany in the late 1970's and taking
 	 Amtrak back from SF to Reno.  The trip was slow due to deteriorated
	 track as described above, and particularly in comparison with the
	 excellently maintained German and French right-of-ways, the track
	 was remarkably crooked and saggy (looking straight down it into the
	 distance), not unreminiscent of HO snap track laid on shag carpet.

!Peeve:  Running around inside of, and hanging out the vestibule windows of,
	 the once-luxurious, beat-up, 4/5 empty 20-year-old passenger cars,
	 obtained from defunct private railroads, that Amtrak was using in
	 the 1970's.

!Peeve/Peeve:  Amtrak got new coaches some years back.  Cool double-decker
	 ones for crossing the expanses of prairie in style.  The trains are
	 usually completely booked now as well.
--
Malcolm L. Carlock                      Internet:  malc@unr.edu
                                        UUCP:      unr!malc
                                        BITNET:    malc@equinox
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Some Peeves
Date: 10 Sep 92 09:50:12 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <25656@castle.ed.ac.uk> tjc@castle.ed.ac.uk (A J Cunningham) writes:
=>
=>!Peeve: Telling Greg Lemond what a faggot he is. I dunno if his decision
=>to abandon the race was related to this but I certainly hope so.

If you'd done the job properly "Quitter" Lemond would have packed with the 
drizzling shits (again).

=>>(*) Correct response, delivered in a suitably sepulchral voice, is "Yes,
=>>but my master Satan, lord of darkness, pays dividends." 
=>
=>I find "You're perfectly correct" works wonders. 

I find that quoting messages from the System Administrator works wonders.
(It was a joke, honest, milud!!)



-- 
=======Jeremy Henderson========egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk===============
Q: How many user support people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be
   working fine.  Can you tell me what kind of system you have?  
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: runner@carina.unm.edu (Paul E. Ford)
Subject: Minor Roommate Peeve
Date: Sat, 05 Sep 92 03:50:44 GMT
Organization: Society for a Saner Hamlet
Keywords: the loud obnoxious one


No, not minor as in under 18; you people really are sick . . .

I guess introductions are in order.  Hi, my name is Paul and I'm a
lurker (well part-time anyway), but I'm being forced, by Russ, at gunpoint,
to post in order to attend PeeveFest SouthWest '92 here in Abq.  Anyway,
I'm one of Chris' 2 roommates and it's about time I peeved about 
"the loud, obnoxious one".  Not only does Adam test jet engines in the
kitchen late at night (vague reference to past article by Chris), but he
also provides a regular source of minor peeves.

Peeve#1 : He turns off stereo components which are not currently in use as
though this will make up for the incredible amount of energy he wastes by
leaving on two lamps and a fan in his room whilst whiling away late night
hours in front of the boob-tube.

Peeve#2 : Adam constantly bitches about Chris' living habits (dirty socks
in the living room floor, text books stacked beside said socks, dirty dishes
piled in and around the sink, etc) as if I care to listen, especially since
I'm sure that in my absence he regales Chris with similar tales about me.

Peeve#3 : Said individual incessantly complains about other residents not
doing their dishes while placing yet another dish on the growing pyramid
that he calls his own.

Peeve#4 : Not so much a peeve as a very minor irritation, but he feels the
need to park in the driveway backwards.  Apparently this aids in making a
quick getaway should he become peevesome enough that we actually have to
hire Claudio.Terrorist to remove him.

more peeves later as I think of them...I'm sure that most everyone has hit
'n' by now so now I can ramble about unrelated topics.

UnRelated Peeve#1 : Chris pestering me for over a week to post just so I
can attend PeeveFest SouthWest and maybe get to fire some of Russ' ObGuns
like the Glock pointed at the back of my cranium.

UnRelated Peeve#2 : People who don't grasp the concept of the {shift/alt/
control} key on a standard keyboard.  How do these people get through life
with so few brain cells?

UnRelated Anti-Peeve : Girlfriend (read ProblemOlderWoman for drieux).
Related Peeve : I hardly get to see her.


Hah!  Now i'm sure everyone is gone, so I'll go too.

the other roommate.

pef

ObSheepdogLyric : "Excuse me while I kiss the sheepdog"  --Sheepdog Hendrix

-- 
pford@boa.cs.unm.edu (Paul E. Ford  -- CS Grad Student)
"an advocate of censorship so odious that she managed to make thrash-metal bands
look like virtuous guardians of our consitutional freedoms."
	about Tipper Gore : Eric S Raymond (eric@snark.thyrsus.com)
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Massachusetts (was Re: Boss Peeve)
Date: 15 Sep 1992 01:40:07 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: rattler.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Sep15.000607.1542@cs.yale.edu> yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin) writes:
>z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>>	Say, isn't the Mass. still mothballed?
>
>The Navy sold it for scrap; fortunately the people who bought it had no
>intention of scrapping it.

"Scrap?  Well, gee, Admiral Wilcox, now that you mention it,
I don't think we're going to scrap the thing."

"For heaven's sake, why not?"

"Well, we think we can make a better profit in other ways."

"And how, may I ask?"

"The plans are not yet finalized; but we shall begin by capturing Bermuda."

c
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: Parents who subject their kids to strange
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: McOlsen's Lutefisk Burgers -- one served.
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 16:49:02 GMT

 adam@castle.ed.ac.uk (Adam Hamilton) writes:

>ObPeeve.  I just had acute double pneumonia, collapsed lung and meningitis.
>Anyone who suggests it was just a cold, I'm going to sneeze into an envelope
>and post it to you.

	There are several people in alt.tasteless who would probably pay
money for such an envelope.  Might as well profit from misery, eh?

	Speaking of misery, many of you will remember my peeves of last
year regarding hernia surgery the first week of classes.  I am still
highly annoyed, and it's been just over a year.  So, guess what Herr
Doktor told me today?  Yup, I've got another inguinial hernia, this
time on the opposite side.  There is no way in hell I'm going to get
cut during classes again.  Screw it.  I'll wait until it striangulates
or turns gangrenous before I put up with that shit again.

	Peeve: the earliest and most convenient time is during Christmas
break, which is damned long to wait.  In addition, this means I'll miss
prime money-making time at work, and get too damn fat after eating all
the Christmas goodies when I can't exercise.

	On the other hand, it does give me an excuse to sit on my ass
and drink beer while feasting on all those goodies.  Toss in a football
game or a couple Firepower episodes on Discovery and I'll be set.



--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"There'll be angels on Ariels in leather>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | and chrome, Ridin' down from heaven    >
<viking@iastate.edu      | just to carry me home." -- R. Thompson >
< ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee. >
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Date: 10 Sep 92 23:51:35 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Sep10.172426.6656@iscsvax.uni.edu> hosch2263@iscsvax.uni.edu 
writes:
>        Peeve:  My workplace.
 
I know the feeling.

       
>        Reason: The college where I work has two settings on the heating
>system, hot and cold.  Right now, it's on cold, which makes the lab about 60
>degrees every morning.

I generally prefer cooler temperatures in the office.  Not out-and-out
cold, but cool.  Unfortunately, in terms of my climatic prferences, many 
women work in my building.  And as we all know, women are heat vampires; 
they can be counted on to screech in agony the nanosecond the ambient 
temperature drops below 80 degrees Fahrenheit.  Consequently, the building
is usually kept at a higher temperature than what I'd personally consider 
ideal.  Ironically, this is particularly true during the wintertime.  It's
not bad right now.

One side effect of this situation is that I'm prevented from wearing such
fall and winter clothing as sweaters and flannel shirts to work, even
during the very coldest part of the year.  If I did, I'd no doubt pass out 
from heat prostration within 30 minutes.  Even lightweight, long-sleeve 
cotton shirts are pushing it.

There was this one girl I worked with back in Milpitas whose cubicle was 
across the partition from my own.  There was an air conditioning vent in
the ceiling nearby, and every time the a/c cycled on, within *seconds,*
she'd announce to no one in particular, "It's cold in here!  Is anyone else
cold?"  This occurred several times a day.  Every day.  It drove me nuts.
Whenever I heard the air conditioning start up, I'd look at my watch and
time her.  It amazed me that she had time to become genuinely chilled in
the five or so seconds that elapsed between the time the a/c came on and
the time she made her all-hands announcement.


>        Related Peeve: Campus planning people who complain that our blinds are
>not all open the same distance.

Peeve: Anal retentives.



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Date: 15 Sep 92 18:33:33 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division


Peeve: Misspelling people's names. I apologize for spelling Jenny as
Henny - "Hen" is certainly not the word I was thinking of, although
Henny Youngman certainly would have something to say about this thread,
like "Lady! Your sign fell down!"

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: mgfrank@avernus.com (Marc G. Frank)
Subject: Re: Birds
Keywords: Birds
Organization: Maryland Appreciation Society
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 17:23:48 GMT

In article <992Sep.9444.27475@athena.mit.edu> tchau@athena.mit.edu (Terry Chau) writes:

>Only for bird enthusiasts, but then again, you might learn from this...

RelatedBirdPeeve: Gannets.  They wet their nests.

OtherBirdPeeves: Robins, nuthatches.

(Note: not in Latin.)

SlightlyCompuNerdyPeeve: People who want to post articles to every
single newsgroup.  Seriously.  They exist.  Such a Newsgroups: line,
incidentally, would take up over 2 80x25 screens.

--
Marc G. Frank                                mgfrank@avernus.com
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
"Well, after the reaction to THAT flame, it'll be a cold day in
hell before I throw another one!"  -- Greg Nelson, after telling
Prof. V. Fabrikant to "deal with it."
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.usage.english
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Revisionist Ideological Deviationalism Attacks English
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 11:07:50 GMT


It has become apparent that I am in dire need of
clarifying a wee minor lexically disturbed influence
in the english language that I presume is a part of
the dangerous wimp liberal SeXularHuamnist influence
in modern education:

I can never remember the correct semantical meanings
attached to armor and armour and accept that it is just
one more case wherein some PinHeadedBrainDeadKneeJerkWimpLiberal
made up extra words so that they could gleefully carry on
their PsychoPhantasies about the Days of Knights without
having to have the emotional and political angst of Knowing
that there is not a whole jolly lot of difference in
fighting men throughout the ages.


ciao
drieux


ps: I was so enjoying my day at the Renne Faire,
and then we just had to go see the 'joust' and
it was a physically painful event for me to watch....

Combat is NOT a SPORT!


-- 
Modern Day Problems

I just restructured my mail queue hierarchy and 
I can't do a thing with it.....
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: wasted time
Date: 10 Sep 92 10:45:12 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

=>In article <1992Sep8.155600.5140@umbc3.umbc.edu> potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
=>   peeve: finding that i do rise to bait. arguing with someone long distance
=>	   over something highly emotional and finding that we are on opposite
=>	   ends of the spectrum and there's no point in discussing it.

Ahem, Laura, but my ears started to burn a bit at this point.

Peeve: Laura's rotten mailer that gives her messages a return address that
my mailer can't understand.

SillyPeeve: My sense of smell has gone completely haywire - I keep thinking
that things smell of things that they can't possibly smell of, unless
someone has been spreading moth-balls around the building.

NewOfficePeeve: My new office, the ex-office of the ViolinistFromHell, stinks
of old tennis shoes. My offices often stink of old tennis shoes, but previously
these have been *my* old tennis shoes.

MovingFlatPeeve: Having to find a place to live for just a few months. I have
lived in nearly every flat in Embra over the last 3 years, and it's getting
tough to find new ones.



-- 
=======Jeremy Henderson========egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk===============
Q: How many user support people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be
   working fine.  Can you tell me what kind of system you have?
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Where were they when wit was handed out?
Date: 11 Sep 1992 23:48:38 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 16568@ucsu.Colorado.EDU, lozanoj@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Jones) writes:
>Is there anyone more peevesome than somebody who has no sense of humor
>of their own and has to recycle material from Saturday Night Live to
>get laughs?

The worst part is, the SNL writers themselves are guilty of this.
That's part of the reason I stopped watching the show; it turned into
90 minutes (less about 40 minutes of commercials) of recycled, rehashed
repetitions.  And when, on that rare occassion, something new came on,
you *knew* it would be repeated ad nauseum in every single subsequent
show.

Brian "Not Emily Fuckin' Latella *again*!?" Scearce
---
Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
        The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
          It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Disrespectful people
Date: 6 Sep 92 13:27:11 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <Bu11oA.AwK@belay> cryst@belay (Crystal Bell) writes:
                                           ^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tell me you're joking. Please tell me you're joking.



-- 
=======Jeremy Henderson========egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk===============
Q: How many user support people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be
   working fine.  Can you tell me what kind of system you have?  
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 92 14:32:07 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <BuKGyC.Lw3@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>In article <1992Sep14.025449.11256@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Evil Incarnate) writes:
>>jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Beauty Incarnate) writes:
>>> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Lonely Boy) writes:

>Well, there's always Mike's suggestion of a pinch test.  Also the little
>buggers pop up by themselves when I'm aroused, but I don't think that would
>be liable to happen if you wre in the immediate vicinity, so maybe the meat
>lockker is our best bet.
	
      Now, Jenny, we all know that a dedicated alt.tasteless
denizen like you will certainly get turned on in a meat locker.

>>	I was here first, twinkle-tits, and while you appear to have what
>>it takes to make it here in Peevetown, ear-warmer is not going to be your
>>occupation.  Eye-candy, perhaps, but certainly not ear-warmer.  Now if
>>you had a flat spot on your head...

      May I suggest that she be awarded the duties of Eye Candy?
      Job description: The wearing of scanty microdresses, torn
      faded blue jeans, and halter tops. The successful candidate
      will be capable of inducing erections merely by walking
      correctly, and lingerie is at all times strictly optional.

>Well, I don't have a flat spot, but I *can* tie a knot in a maraschino 
>cherry stem with my tongue.  I was doing it for years before Twin Peaks,
>and unlike Sherilyn, I don't need any camera cuts to accomplish this.

      Perhaps we need to add a little to that job description...

regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: SF Channel
From: gcombs@parsifal.umkc.edu (Gerald Combs)
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 16:20:05 GMT
Reply-To: gcombs@parsifal.umkc.edu (Gerald Combs)
Organization: University of Missouri - Kansas City

In article <dbrinson.716165475@silver>, dbrinson@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (doris brinson) writes:
>Peeve: The Sci-Fi Channel is FINALLY getting off the ground, but I 
>       won't be getting it.  
>
>       Is anyone actually getting this channel?

  Not me.

  Peeve: The packet-o-info that came with the last cable bill explaining how:

1) We can't have the Sci-Fi channel, the Cartoon channel, the Scantily Clad 
Bimbo channel, the They Might Be Giants channel, or any other channel that might 
interest us in the slightest becasue their channels are "all used up" carrying 
all the other crap they currently pipe into our apartment.

2) They've been installing equipment that will be able to carry the extra
channels.  That's why the cable rates are so high.

3) Congress wants to re-regulate the cable industry.  If they do, all sorts of
nasty things might happen, like our rates going up WITHOUT the benefit of extra 
channels, or changing all the current channels to All Robert Tilton, All Day, so 
we'd better Write Our Congressthingies Now!

  OtherCablePeeve:  The fact that I can install as many phone jacks, water
faucets and electrical outlets in my home as I want (OK, so I live in an 
apartment,so this doesn't exactly hold true, but it's still a peeve) but 
installing extra cable jacks is a big no-no.

- Gerald Combs
     _____     __o          Internet : gcombs@vax1.umkc.edu
   -----      -\<,            Bitnet : gcombs@umkcvax1  
    -----   ( )/ ( )