HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: My Entire CD Collection
From: rhamilt@husc10.harvard.edu (Rowan Hamilton)
Date: 26 Jan 93 14:44:21 GMT
Keywords: Idiots From New England

bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton) writes:

>My entire CD collection numbers four:

>    John Coltrane, Live at the Half-Note
>    Garland Jeffreys, Take Me to the Matador and More
>    Garland Jeffreys, Don't Call Me Buckwheat
>    Eric Clapton, Unplugged

>Thus, until I buy a record of diminished coolness
>(basically, any other CD except maybe more Trane
>or Garland J., and some of Lyle Lovett's or Joe
>Cocker's), I will temporarily own the CD collection
>with the highest average coolness in the history
                          ^^^^^^^^^
>of the recording medium.      ?

	(Cough) Ahhh, that'd be negatory, Captain(ette) America.
	Sorry, but Musak don't constitute no coolness.

	I, on the other hand, own the complete works of Swell Maps *and*
Can on CD.

-- 
Rowan T. Hamilton                         "To dig this is to groove on
hamilton@huhepl.harvard.edu                   hella shit."
hamilton@fnald.fnal.gov                   - casey@wackenhut.com
From: crisper@cats.ucsc.edu (Crisper Than Thou)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: A question
Date: 25 Jan 93 02:29:45 GMT
Organization: The Armory, Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: as215-ws-15.ucsc.edu


In article <C14HEK.46v@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca> lstewart@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca (L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058) writes:
>How long will the ham still be good to eat after I have thawed
>it out and refrozen it because I change my mind a few times?

This depends entirely on your definition of 'good'. Your standards
 are everything in this case. 

	--The Elder Dan
	Still gnawing on Thanksgiving poultry.
From: bungle@cellar.org (GasTruck Guy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: GasTruck Guy Speaks
Date: 26 Jan 93 04:21:43 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system


  It is better to have shot your lover,
    then to have never loved at all.

  GasTruck Guy has spoken.



------
GasTruck Guy           "Please, stop touching my scrotum, Mr. Asner."
bungle@cellar.org

                   The Cellar BBS (215) 539-3043
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@gath.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: Re: My Straight-Edge Hardcore Offering
Originator: jcarroll@gath
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 22 Jan 93 16:16:52 CST


In article <1993Jan22.150324.5174@newstand.syr.edu>, hlow@mothra.syr.EDU (Handel Low) writes:
> 
> KILL YOUR MOTHER!!
> RIP HER HEAD OFF!!
> 
> KILL YOUR SISTER!!
> RIP HER HEAD OFF!!
> 
> DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL!!
> 
> DON'T DO DRUGS!!
> 
> DON'T WEAR LEATHER!!

take your little brother swimming with a brick, that's all right.

jkc (been there, done that...)
From: jake@introl.com (Joel Jacobson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: And the heinous substance of the day is
Date: 21 Jan 1993 12:37:13 -0600
Organization: Introl Corp.
NNTP-Posting-Host: hp710.introl.com

In article <1jmocaINN4i7@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White) writes:
>
>In a previous article, nj@birch.CS.Berkeley.EDU (posting for morrisas) says:
>
>>Grape Crush soda.

i almost spit out what i was drinking when i read this.
i had to re-read my soda can.
i still dont feel safe.
i am waiting for my soda can to start glowing and my insides to start revolting.


jake "grape welches"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: an6946@anon.penet.fi (Hieronymus Bitch)
Subject: M-x replace-string
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: talk.bizarre
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 16:06:37 GMT


    He raised the Shotgun of Life to his lips, and drank deeply of its
ever-flowing bounty of belssings.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
Due to the double-blind system, any replies to this message will be anonymized,
and an anonymous id will be allocated automatically. You have been warned.
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: my all-time favorite porno movie title
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 93 17:36:38 GMT
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
X-Newsreader: rusnews v0.98

jjh4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JANE HORVATH) writes:
>         ramboner

"Spurtacus".


mathew
[ Actually, I have no idea whether anyone's used that title or not, but... ]
From: dvand@ctp.com (Derek Vandivere)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: A Strange Feeling
Date: 26 Jan 93 19:51:30 GMT
Organization: Cambridge Technology Partners

Sitting at my desk, reading t.b while eating my bag lunch, I reach for a
pretzel without looking.  I miss; the middle finger of my left hand dips
into the cup of yogurt.

			-dersk
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Derek A. Vandivere           |dvand@ctp.com|      This space unintentionally |
|Cambridge Technology Partners|(617)374-8278|            left blank.          |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Palsy
Date: 24 Jan 1993 20:49:44 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: o231-24.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

Concentrate concentrate and send out
the deadly microbes to cleanse the 
system of hateful diseases and poisons
that threaten the peaceful being
of the whole.

They can't be ignored, or they will
grow and invite their friends
and structure will fall to the
ground in rot, crawling with grub
worms.

And the smell - oh imagine the smell.

--
operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: uk.politics,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Czechoslovakia
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 93 17:53:33 GMT
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
X-Newsreader: rusnews v0.98

cstadgg@csv.warwick.ac.uk (Mr I M Peksa) writes:
> Once upon a time there was an man called Vladimir Meciar. This man was 
> very successful - his political party came from nowhere to have the
> vast majority of seats in the Slovak region of the CSFR.
> 
> He decided to recall a Slovak parliment. One year later, Slovakia is
> an independent state. It will now join Bulgaria and Romainia in the 
> real slow lane of Europe. The Czech republic will join the comparitively 
> successful "western" europe.
> 
> Q1. Who got the best deal during this split?

Sometimes nationalists get what they deserve.

But I only got my European Atlas for Christmas and it's already out of date. 
Bastards.


mathew
From: awells@lynx.dac.northeastern.edu (Andrew V. Wells)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: funny names for private parts
Date: 26 Jan 93 17:51:02 GMT
Organization: Northeastern University, Boston, MA. 02115, USA


Hey, I've got some good examples en espan~ol. In central america,
a papusa is a tortilla filled with rice, beans, cheese or meat.
But in Puerto Rico, a papusa is slang for a female sex organ!

andy wells                          
awells@lynx.dac.northeastern.edu     
andyphys@northeastern.edu             
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (mr. fun fun boy)
Subject: hi
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 22:02:15 GMT

hi, my name's pat and i'm addicted to usenet. will you help me?
--
"i sure wish i didn't have to print out every posting and read them by
brail. ascii just doesn't seem the same as when i could see."
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@gath.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: Re: THE DIVINE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
Originator: jcarroll@gath
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 26 Jan 93 10:47:26 CST


    
>               One such perfect Master alive today is an American, Sri 
>          Harold Klemp, the Living "Eck" Master or "Mahanta" for the 
>          "Eckankar" organization, now headquartered in Minneapolis, 
>          (P.O. Box 27300;  zip 55427). 

I have no joke here, I just like saying

"Sri Harold Klemp, the Living Eck Master".
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: latarra@camelot.bradley.edu (Lisa Ehren)
Subject: ten word observation
Organization: Bradley University
Date: 22 Jan 93 03:45:18 GMT

There certainly are a lot of these around here lately!
--
He got up from the couch and stared out the window at a far-off place
inside himself that she couldn't see.

Fuzzies for anyone who wants them - New shipments every Thursday.
From: echeverr@scf.usc.edu (5150)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: ForeverQuest
Date: 24 Jan 1993 17:38:18 -0800
Organization: <censored>
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu

In article <1jvakoINN19j@master.cs.rose-hulman.edu> operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu writes:
>In article <TOMF.93Jan24183712@ai.gte.com> tomf@gte.com (Tom Fawcett)  
>writes:
>>operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby) writes:
)>>   'Burning Down the House' by the Talking Heads came on over
)>>   the car radio.
)>>   My next mission has begun, I thought to myself.
>> What, you're going to put tedious lyrics to a ripped-off African rhythm?
>No, I'm going to poke myself in the eye with a toothpick. What kind
>of question is that?

An inquisitive one?

>I thought it was perfectly obvious from what I wrote that I 
>would cover my nude body with grape jelly and roll around 
>like a spring plum.

Ah.  I thought you were going to use strawberry jam while wearing
only a G-string.  Thanks for clearing that up.

5150
why do we only dream in black and white
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: what a relief!
Date: 24 Jan 1993 07:35:30 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
NNTP-Posting-Host: nasdaq.intel.com

In article <1993Jan22.152928.16534@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mgooley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Markian Gooley) writes:
>I can stop reading rec.humor.funny now.  Maddi's finally published my list
>of institutions of research & higher learning.

Oh no you can't.

You have to wait for my followup.

				--Blair
				  "Riddle:  What goes 'ha-ha-<*plonk*>,
					    ha-ha-<*plonk*>'?
				   Answer:  Newbies having their heads
					    laughed off for them."
From: mha1@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL H. ALAIMO)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: 10-Word Casserole
Date: 22 Jan 93 20:10:33 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University





  Steaming Broccoli Shoofly Pastie With Chicken and Biscuit Gravy Compote.
-- 

--
Mike Alaimo       |      "An' what are yer scientists these days
Dept. Chemistry   |       but a bunch o' undersexed communistic
Leehi U.          |       heaps o' shit with teeth?"
Purloined .sig:   |          -Ma Orviston-  "The River Why"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: 10 word Steven King story- any Steven King story
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 14:13:52 GMT

rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu (robert vacca) writes:

>     Many horrible things happened in Maine, but few people knew.

No, no, its:

"Jeremy drove

	(_oh the pain the pain_)

 towards Jerusalem's Lot."


--mark
From: jws5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JUSTIN WINSLOW SOLONYNKA)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: 10 Word Movie Review
Date: 23 Jan 93 02:15:55 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

(Bryan S Keiper) writes:
>
>     I laughed, I cried.  I choked on my ju-ju bees.
>                    (Is ju-ju considered one word?)
>Bigby
>Bryan Keiper *********************** bkeiper@magnusug.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu

I laughed.  I cried.  It was better than "Cats".  I'm going to read this
again and again and again.

sol  |  see the cat?  see the cradle?

(No, I don't have a thing for cats.)
-- 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mgooley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Markian Gooley)
Subject: Re: cj's piercing
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 93 03:32:32 GMT

In article <C182pE.HoB@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton) writes:
>A friend of mine wanted to get an "unusual" piercing.  "Why don't you
>get your nose pierced?"  I asked.  "Oh, that's too *normal*."  She
>replied.
>
How about ventricle piercings?

Mark., left ventricle if you're really tough
mgooley@nyx.cs.du.edu
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: just wondering
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 93 17:59:03 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

: Is Chelsea Clinton's middle name Buns?
: 
: Mark., why can't people give their kids reasonable names these days?

Her first stay-overnight lover will wake in the morning, look over, and
eulogise "Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning." Or just hum it instead.

In any case, this is apparently the origin of the name. The rumour that
the parents wrongly attribute this ditty to Judy Collins rather than
to its actual author, the (almost immortal and if you don't like it 
Fuck Off) Joni Mitchell is of course deplorable if it's true.

At least they didn't call her Stoke Newington.
Or Sisotowbell.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant |  i've been to sea before                        |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Rowan John Virgin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: primordial soup with croutons
Date: 26 Jan 93 03:45:04 GMT
Organization: Channel Lightvessel Automatic
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

It had all been settled, until just two weeks before the end of the Michaelmas
Term.  The University Russian club had thrown a party for some visiting Soviet
lecturers and Dawling had found himself pouring out his problems to a pleasant
young man from the city of Kizhi.

Dawling had not seen him again until the language course in Moscow.  And again
when he was posted to Moscow as second secretary.  And again seven years later
when he returned as head of Chancery.

`I have always dreamed of opening a filling station on a quiet little B-road.'
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: Re: Short, shameful musical confession
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1993 04:01:16 GMT

jeff vogel (jvogel@math.rutgers.edu) wrote:
: My parents own a copy of the Beegee's version of Sergeant Pepper's 
: Lovely Hearts Club Band.

: I covet it desperately.

That movie is one of my all-time favourites.  It's just got a certain...
something about it.

Also, I first saw it when I was eight and still got the Beatles and the Bee
Gees mixed up.  Subsequent viewings have failed to dull that first youthful
sheen.

-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I tell everyone a different story...that way nothing's ever boring."              ---Jane Siberry
Current Album--Cactus World News:Urban Beaches
Current Read--Michelle Sagara:Into The Dark Lands
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: international response needed
Date: 25 Jan 93 23:23:56 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <1993Jan24.234303.29284@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy) writes:
> 
> From: HSRIE381@BIOCH.uni-giessen.dbp.de
> To: mscs240@vax1.mankato.msus.edu
> Subject: Re: international response needed
> X400-MTS-Identifier: [/PRMD=UNI-GIESSEN/ADMD=DBP/C=DE/;930109182258103-MTAJLUG]
> X400-Received:  by mta ixgate.gmd.de in /PRMD=GmD/ADMD=DbP/C=DE/
> Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
> Message-id:<930109182258103-MTAJLUG*/G=Elke/S=Wagner/OU=AGRAR/PRMD=UNI-GIESSEN/$
> DE/@MHS>
> In-Reply-To: <1993Jan24.153524.2793@vax1.mankato.msus.edu>
> Cc:
> Bcc:
> 
> In article <1993Jan24.153524.2793@vax1.mankato.msus.edu> you write:
>>I need for someone to write me some electronic mail for this computer
>>class I am enrolled in.  The only requirement is that the mail must be
>>from a country outside the United States. So someone please respond.
>>Thanks in advance! My user id is mscs240
>>
> 
> Here is this mail you wanted to get from other countries. I am in Giessen,
> Germany. How is Minnesota? It is alwasy so very rainy here and I get colds
> too much. Have a nice day there.
> 
> 
> HOPE HE ENJOYS THE MAIL!!!

HAW HAW !!111!!!! I GET IT !!11! YOU RESET THE FOLOLOWUPS TO
MISC TEST !!!!1111 VERRY VERRYY FUNNYT !!!1111

YOU fINERTY ARE NO CARASSO !!!1111
I WISH 1 COULD BE LIKE YOU!!!11  NOT !!!1!!!!

ACE

> 			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (not easy being green)
Subject: Re: Miserari enim nupta
Originator: jcarroll@ferris
Organization: toast'r'us
Date: 21 Jan 93 12:28:31 CST


In article <C16Ao2.38A@news.rich.bnr.ca>, bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash) writes:
> I'm best-man at a wedding that will be held in May.
> I need something bizarre to say for the toast.
> Any suggestions?
> 
> 
> Brian /-|-\
> 
> PS If you have a reply, then post it.  If not: don't.  I don't see
>    why I have to keep explaining this to you...all I wanted was a 
>    Pepsi.

"(groom's name), after a thorough and intense personal investigation, I have
concluded that you are the luckiest man in the world, or at least in this
metropolitan area. Congratulations. I drink to your future happiness and health."
From: billbill@wetware.com (Bill Bill)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Scammin' babes
Date: 26 Jan 93 09:07:27 GMT
Organization: Castle Wetware

In the Super Hyper MegaMart, where milk and fruit
are only ten cents, the lady caught my eye. "That's
a neat coat," she said, pointing to the video noise
on my back. The pink bottle of conditioner was three
cents more than the green bottle.

"Where'd you get it - in San Francisco?" she and her
friend smiled at me, faces open and talky.

"Close. Tijuana." I said.

"Where?" she said.

"Mexico," said my friend as she knelt by the rack to pick up 
the purple and orange bottles of conditioner. The orange one 
had a prettier font.

"Oh," said the lady. "By the way, we're inviting everyone
we meet to come to our church in San Francisco. Do you think
you might be interested?" Her hair was American. The pink 
bottle of conditioner matched the shampoo bottle's gestalt better. 

                              *

The Haagie-Dahz ice cream bars were more appropriate for 
well-done steak than the Dove Bars were. Since the cookies
were all the same low price, we picked out two bags with our
eyes closed. I put the cilantro on the checkout belt and 
said to it, "My jacket doesn't go with anything we're buying."

                              billbill@wetware.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@gath.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: Re: decisions
Originator: jcarroll@gath
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 23 Jan 93 17:17:04 CST


In article <1993Jan19.194136.15127@siemens.com>, aad@siemens.com (Anthony Datri) writes:
> >I am going to get my hair cut.
> 
> All-in-all, a bad idea.
> 
> >I am going to get my ear pierced.
> 
> You only have one ear?
> 
> -- 
> 
> ======================================================================8--<

Mm-hmm. Had the other one cut.
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Word of the day
Date: 22 Jan 93 14:26:37 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620




                 trouser




Thank you so very much

Jason
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: In America
Date: 25 Jan 1993 02:52:40 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

The truck from the Swedish embassy came yesterday afternoon, and disgorged
several hundred reels of tape onto the floor of my living room.
--scott
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Rictus Hep tries Zen
Date: 27 Jan 93 13:22:36 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania
In-reply-to: eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com's message of 26 Jan 93 15:09:14 GMT


``But how will I know when I'm enlightened?''
--

   Nihil tam absurde dici potest, quod non dicatur ab aliquo philosophorum.
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@gath.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: Re: Headlines we would love to see.
Originator: jcarroll@gath
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 25 Jan 93 13:00:58 CST


In article <C1A7M5.5Mo@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM>, jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
> In <1jhf5mINNnuh@rave.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
> >In article <C141Ky.2vr@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil> dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small) writes:
> >>film at 11.  (VHS and Beta)
> >FILM: Thick and has holes punched in it.
> >TAPE: Thin and has no holes.  Sometimes in a cassette.
> 
> TAPE: Thick and has holes punched in it.
> FILM: Sputtered onto aluminum platters in a vacuum.

This is Woods' best posting in at least a month.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aad@siemens.com (Anthony A. Datri)
Subject: Re: Short, shameful musical confession
Organization: Siemens Corporate Research, Princeton (Plainsboro), NJ
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 07:07:07 GMT

>: My parents own a copy of the Beegee's version of Sergeant Pepper's 
>: Lovely Hearts Club Band.

>: I covet it desperately.

As well you should -- Alice is in it.

-- 

======================================================================8--<
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,misc.test,rec.pets,rec.pets.dogs,alt.job.gooley
From: truth@sage.cc.purdue.edu (I am always right.)
Subject: Re: My roommate Charlie*****************
Keywords: Charlie, roommate
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 20:23:56 GMT

In article <1993Jan20.043444.9459@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy) writes:
>In article <C14pq3.GAn@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> aisa@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Charles Festel) writes:
>>In article <C14pG9.FIz@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> truth@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Brendan Casey) writes:
>>>    I would like to bring everyone's attention to the fact
>>>that my roommate Charlie is a butthead.  He won't turn his
>>> 
>>This is your first and last warning...
>>we all know that you are a liar and that it is indeed YOU who
>>smell bad, etc., and that you have no roommate.
>
>
>ALRIGHT, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. you two foolish fucks can fuck right off into my
>killfile. are you both god damned brain dead? like we care if you are
>upset because he screws you every night but you don't even notice since
>your rectum has been completely expanded due to the perpetual insertion of
>a giant dildo. if i see one more of these inane posts i will see to it
>that you will be the proud recipients of several copies of a certain
>library file i have recently obtained. die die die...
>
>			hi everyone!!
>--
>			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
>			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1

WELL EXCUUUUUUUUSSSSSEEEEEE ME, Mr Public Enema #1!
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Hugh Neek)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: the leanliness of the short distance runner
Date: 25 Jan 93 03:45:03 GMT
Organization: Scrabster and Eriboll Armoured Kilt and Exploding Sporran Company
Comment: If it were shorter, and I were shamer, it could be a confession.
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

I decided I could probably reduce the length of the morning run on Sunday.
Ten minutes leaning into the wind, since it achieved an air-speed of near
enough a hundred miles an hour, was probably exercise enough for anyone.

This weather opens up all sort so possibilities.  I could go for quite a
long run, provided it was always heading into the wind, on the small patio
outside the penthouse.  Mind you, a sudden calm could be tricky; like
when the road stops on one of those yuppie treadmills they have in posh
conference hotel basements, and the victim is precipitated into a wall.
___
Except that it would be without the wall, of course.