From: kathy_buetow@QMS1.life.uiuc.edu (Kathy Buetow)
Newsgroups: rec.pets.dogs
Subject: Re: The Next Dog
Date: 13 Oct 92 19:26:49 GMT
Article-I.D.: physio10.kathy_buetow-131092131420
Followup-To: rec.pets.dogs
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

In article <1992Oct13.150111.20381@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>,
glb@uvacs.cs.Virginia.EDU (Gina Bull) wrote:
> 
> Early last Thursday morning my 11-year-old Cocker Spaniel, Shelley,
> died peacefully in her sleep.  Her kidneys just gradually failed.
> My family is feeling her loss acutely. She was the first dog my
> husband had ever had, and they had a very special relationship.
> I called her "daddy's girl".

First off, very sorry to hear about your loss.....

> Should we get a dog "just like" the one we had before, or deliberately
> get one that is different in many respects (in this case, gender
> and coat) in order to avoid comparisons?


I personally feel that it is a *very, very, very* bad idea to replace
a loss with a dog "just like __________".  Let me share a little
story with you..........

                           The story of Oreo 
             (which fortunately has a happy ending):

Bob (I don't know his real name and I don't ever care to) was a farmer
down in Southern Missouri.  He had two dogs a VERY large male Rott and
a small Australian Cattle Dog Bitch.  The ACD bitch helped him daily with
his chores on the farm by helping him bring in the cattle......after all,
she 
was bred and trained to do just that.  The Rott was a "kennel dog" that 
Bob had on the property mainly to scare off intruders.  One day (sadly)
Bob's ACD bitch died (of old age).  His sister-in-law, however, was an ACD
breeder who lived nearby and when she had a litter on the ground Bob
begged and pleaded with her to give him a double masked bitch "just
like the one he had recently lost".  Against her better judgement the
breeder gave him the one double masked bitch in the litter, knowing how
much he loved his old ACD and knowing that she would be a happy working 
dog.  Trying to make a long story short, Bob called his sister-in-law
several
months later and told her to come pick up the puppy because she was "stupid
(wouldn't even come when she was called)" and she "wouldn't work (which
puzzled the breeder because at 2 months of age this puppy bitch had already
been started on herding ducks)".  The breeder went over to Bobs house and 
found an extremely underweight, frightened ACD puppy in the *same*
kennel run as the male Rott.  She let the little bitch out of the pen and
started
to call her.  The breeder turned to Bob and asked what her name was (she
was
9 months old at this time) so that she could try to coax her to come....Bob

replied that she didn't have a name, he just called her "dog" (which was
*amazingly* the Rott's name too !!).  As the now horrified breeder listened
to Bob talk she learned the horrible story of what had happened to the
puppy
in the past 7 months..........she had been housed and fed in the same pen
as the 
Rott (no wonder she was so skinny !!), she had been turned out on Cattle
(with no training) at 3 months of age and harshly corrected when she didn't
bring the Cattle in to the barn "like his old bitch did", she was banned to
the
kennel (the Rott got to come inside) even in the dead of winter (no
shelter)
because she "piddled on the carpet the first night" (imagine that from a 2
month old puppy).  The breeder heard over and over the comparison between
this little puppy bitch and "his old bitch".  She took the frightened
little bitch
home and gave her the name "Oreo" while deciding what to do with her.
Poor little Oreo didn't trust anybody, she was frightened by the slightest
noise.  Any human approaching Oreo could only get within 3 feet before Oreo
curled up into a little ball in self defense.  

The breeder soon realized what a  mistake it was to replace a dog with one 
"just like _____" under *ANY* circumstances.........even for a well-known 
family member.

The happy ending is that Oreo is now my bitch and bestest buddy.  I would
give up my right arm before I would give up Oreo.  Now don't be fooled, it
took a *long, long* time to rehabilitate her...and she still has "good
days"
and "bad days".  It took me literally hours and hours and hours of holding
her on my lap and patting her and talking to her before she would even look

at me.  There were days when I almost had her put to sleep because I knew
that living life terrified of everything and everybody must just be a
horrible
existence.  The day she first kissed me on the nose I whooped and holered 
like I had just won the lottery (and in a way, for me it was much better
than 
I ever imagine winning the lottery could be).  Oreo is now a Champion and
has 
her first leg on her CD.  She is the #3 Best of Opposite Bitch and the #4
Best of Breed Bitch in the country (and I haven't done many shows with her
this year). 

Yes, Oreo's story has a happy ending.......but in a lot of ways it is still
very
sad to see the "remnants" of what she went through as a a pup.  Bob is not 
a "bad" person ..........he just made the mistake of expecting from a puppy

the same kind of behavior/training/personality that he had in his old 
companion.  I think that the fact that she "looked just like old _______"
only served to accentuate the problem.


I'm sure there are a lot of cases where just the opposite has
happened......
if you fancy Buff Cockers, then you fancy Buff Cockers.  BUT, be very
very, very, very careful not to expect of a new dog what you lost in
a previous pet.  With Cockers you are lucky in that there are different
coat colors.....I would definitely chose one of a different coat color
the next time if it doesn't make any difference to you.  I would also
wait a while longer.  Yes, it is very difficult....many of us have our 
"routines" scheduled around our 4-legged beasties.  I have good friends
who lost their Golden to Hemangiosarcoma at the beginning of Spring.
They decided to wait a while to replace him and while their lives "felt
empty" for a while, they are both happy that they waited.  They just
got their new Golden baby and while they say that they sometimes think
of their old boy, they are much less inclined to compare the two dogs
than they would be if they had immediately ran out and gotten a 
"replacement".  (BTW, they have done it both ways and say that waiting
was much better).

Sorry this got long, but there has been a lot of (very very sad) talk
about losing 4-legged companions lately and I wanted to give everybody
some things to think about when it comes to "replacing" (I hate that
term for this situation !!) them.

Heeler Hugs and Cattle Dog Kisses to all !!

Kathy
(who despite her saying that "Bob" is not a bad person would still like
to lock him in a kennel run with Refrigerator Perry and see him try
to fight for food and/or would like to ask him to do something he has
not been properly trained to do {say, dance the Nutcracker Suite} and 
beat him with a riding crop when the task is not properly executed......
.........................................  :-) 
-------------------------
Katwala Australian Cattle Dogs
Kathy_Buetow@QMS1.life.uiuc.edu
Oreo's 27 days pregnant...........tomorrow is Palpation Day !!!!!
Newsgroups: rec.pets.dogs