From: jbm@hal.trl.OZ.AU (Jacques Guy)
Subject: Weedly Magic Turd Index *** O'CEDAR'S COWARDLY RETREAT ***
Organization: Telecom Research Labs, Melbourne, Australia
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 00:50:20 GMT


We apologize to our readers for the delay in the Weedly Index,
brought about by a hardware problem which the best minds in
Istambull, Andara, and elsewhere worth mentioning have not been
able to fix yet. Whenever we hit the "D" dey on our deyboard, out
comes a "D"!

We, at Magic Turd (tm) Watchers, are extremely dismayed to report
that O'Cedar, the Magic Turd, has stopped posting to the
news.admin groups. This cowardly retreat is unbecoming of a proud
defender of the Most Ancient and Noble Ottomaniac Empire.

Clad in sadcloth, eyebrows shaven and ashes on our heads in
signs of mourning, we further noted that Magic Turd droppings
are dropping at an alarming rate: 137 dilobytes of Turdish Magic
in the weed ended 26 September, falling to a paltry 80 dilobytes
in the weed ended 2 October! Ah, where, where indeed are those
Halcyon days of the Original Mutlu QUARTER MEGABYTER (tm)?

What is this Magic Turd? A disappearing prick? (Oh, glory be! Now
a "k" magically appears again when we hip phe "k" key on phe
keyboard!)


Statistics for the period 20 Sep 1992 to 26 Sep 1992

Proudly brought to you by MTW Software (tm)
a.d.a. Mad Turk Watcher Software Associates

                    mutlu   A-related   B-related       other
    specimens          32          12          11          84
      biomass      137794       37849       65587      100413
mean specimen        4306.06     3154.08     5962.45     1195.39
    skinniest        1109         464         323         138
      fattest       10218       13809       24975        5283

 Biomass is in bytes contained in the bodies of messages,
 with signature included, but origin, newsgroup, and
 subject lines excluded. Leading and trailing spaces
 also excluded, as well as CRLFs.

 A-related lifeforms contain a mutlu, B-related ones
 Turkey or Armenia, but no mutlu.

mutlus accounted for:
 23.0% of specimens received
 40.3% of the biomass of Europe

mutlus and A-related accounted for:
 31.7% of specimens received
 51.4% of the biomass of Europe

mutlus and A or B-related accounted for:
 39.6% of specimens received
 70.6% of the biomass of Europe

            Hourly Hatching Profile of mutlu Lifeforms

     Mon        Tue        Wed        Thu        Fri        Sat        Sun
       1          1          1          1          1          1          1
Hr
 0    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 1    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 2    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 3    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 4    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 5    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 6    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 7    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 8    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 9    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
10    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
11    nil      10.1 ( 2)    nil        nil      11.2 ( 2)    nil        nil
12   9.7 ( 2)    nil        nil       2.6 ( 1)  13.3 ( 3)    nil        nil
13    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
14    nil        nil        nil      15.8 ( 4)    nil        nil      23.1 ( 4)
15    nil        nil        nil       5.6 ( 1)    nil        nil       3.4 ( 1)
16    nil      22.5 ( 5)  12.1 ( 5)    nil        nil        nil        nil
17    nil       8.5 ( 2)    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
18    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
19    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
20    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
21    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
22    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
23    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil


      Biomass is in thousands of bytes, followed, in brackets,
      by the number of specimens hatched on day and hour (GMT)
      The numbers under day names indicate how many such days
      saw hatching activity (mutlu and non-mutlu) during the
      period researched on soc.culture.europe.


Statistics for the period 27 Sep 1992 to 2 Oct 1992

Proudly brought to you by MTW Software (tm)
a.d.a. Mad Turk Watcher Software Associates

                    mutlu   A-related   B-related       other
    specimens          18           0          28          42
      biomass       80016           0       68830       96407
mean specimen        4445.33        0.00     2458.21     2295.40
    skinniest         874           0         361         131
      fattest       14287           0        7918       27289

 Biomass is in bytes contained in the bodies of messages,
 with signature included, but origin, newsgroup, and
 subject lines excluded. Leading and trailing spaces
 also excluded, as well as CRLFs.

 A-related lifeforms contain a mutlu, B-related ones
 Turdey or Armenia, but no mutlu.

mutlus accounted for:
 20.5% of specimens received
 32.6% of the biomass of Europe

mutlus and A-related accounted for:
 20.5% of specimens received
 32.6% of the biomass of Europe

mutlus and A or B-related accounted for:
 52.3% of specimens received
 60.7% of the biomass of Europe

            Hourly Hatching Profile of mutlu Lifeforms

     Mon        Tue        Wed        Thu        Fri        Sat        Sun
       1          1          1          1          1          0          1
Hr
 0    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 1    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 2    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 3    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 4    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 5    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 6    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 7    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 8    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
 9    nil        nil        nil       5.6 ( 1)    nil        nil        nil
10    nil        nil        nil      10.9 ( 3)   2.1 ( 1)    nil        nil
11    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
12    nil        nil       3.7 ( 1)    nil        nil        nil        nil
13    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
14    nil        nil      24.2 ( 5)    nil        nil        nil      10.1 ( 4)
15    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil      23.4 ( 3)
16    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
17    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
18    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
19    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
20    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
21    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
22    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil
23    nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil        nil


      Biomass is in thousands of bytes, followed, in brackets,
      by the number of specimens hatched on day and hour (GMT)
      The numbers under day names indicate how many such days
      saw hatching activity (mutlu and non-mutlu) during the
      period researched on soc.culture.europe.