HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov ( Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: using rn
Followup-To: rec.audio.high-end
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 16:53:57 GMT

In article <p2etcck@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com writes:
>
>In article <4705@gorn.echo.com>, drseuss@gorn.echo.com writes:
>|Now, yes, I realise that rn is not the newsreader of choice for most
>|people, but it does have it's advantages; not having to think being 
>|the primary one.  In fact, in the documentation for rn, it mentions 
>|that you could read through all your unread news and only have to hit
>|the space bar.  The documentation doesn't mention the mental health
>|problems that develop from doing this, but very rarely is documentation
>|this comprehensive.
>
>Mr Bedno, you have just breathed new purpose & life into my
>professional career.  I will no longer mutter dark mutterings
>about going back to school, becoming a street beggar, or doing
>anything other than writing one more sentence about C++.  My
>next book will mention the mental health consequences of doing
>whatever it is I am documenting.

 Sometimes the world to you may seem bleak and unresponsive.  When you
just can't bring yourself to care about life or about your fellow man,
when it just seems like nothing that you could ever do could make a tiny
impact on the state of the universe, and your mere existance seems
completely futile, just reflect on the fact that you've got a damn
good pair of stereo speakers.  And then the world will seem all right
again.
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor,rec.arts.startrek.current
From: bantolph@carina.unm.edu (Bard's are the Best)
Subject: Re: STAR TREK PRANKS
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 92 07:30:05 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <Bto5FB.8C4@alsvid.une.edu.au> cwheeler@alsvid.une.edu.au (Christopher Wheeler) writes:
>From article <l7_nt=g.rdc@netcom.com>, by rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy):
>> 
>> replace all of the clothing in whorfs closet with pink frilly things.
>posible, but dangerous
>> page "mike hunt" on the inctercomm.
>The computer would answer with an error message
>> push the ship intercomm,say "the captain is a french fag!", and run.
>ditto, no route data in message
.......and more boring droll...

	The guy shooting down these jokes has got to be the BIGGEST
NERD IN EXISTANCE! THERE NEVER WAS AND THERE NEVER WILL BE ANYONE AS
NERD-LIKE AS THIS INDIVIDUAL! THEY ARE JUST JOKES, DON'T TAKE THEM 
PERSONALLY! 

	I can just see this guy writing his little letter with his stupid
reasons why the jokes wouldn't work with anger in his heart and a tear of
insult running down his face and dripping off his spock ears. 

Here's a few pranks for him to digest....

	Plant a virus on ships computer that seeks out life support programs
	and encrypts them so they cannot be run.

	Replace Dr Crushers vibrator with a cattle prod.

	Put a ten gallon can of Fart-Spray in the ventilation system.

	Poke holes in all of the space-condoms on the big E

Of course these would never work because the ST mischievious-activity
detector would put a stop to any of this to preserve boredom on the ship.

############################################################################

|\/| |\ |\  |\ /| |\ |\ |  | /|\ |\ |   |\ /| |\  |\/ |\  |\ |\ |\
|/\| |\ |\\*| X | |\ |\\| \|* |  |\ |/  | V |*|\\ |\/ | \*|\ |  |
|  | |  ||| |/ \| |  | \|  |\ |  |  | \ |   | ||| |   | | |  |  | -Gandalf

###########################################################################

	
	

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Subject: weekends
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 18:02:55 GMT

---
After a Saturday spent with the SO's parents, I have
a new mission in life.  I want to buy two t-shirts.
These t-shirts will both say:

	NOBODY KNOWS
	   I'M BI

I will tie-dye them.
I will cover them with peace sign buttons and Clinton/Gore 
buttons and Tax the Rich buttons and Queer Nation buttons
and Legalize Hemp buttons and Malcom X buttons.

Next time we visit the SO's parents, we'll both wear them.
When my mother visits, and we pick her up at the airport,
we'll wear them.

This, I believe, will solve the problem of whether we should
go to their place for Thanksgiving, or continue the tradition
of t.b t-days at my place.

---
c j silverio
he'll never do it, but I will
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.wanted.moslem.gay
From: rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy)
Subject: SHORT SHAMEFUL CONFESSION
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 92 04:50:08 GMT
Organization: 'Ex-Biology Grad Student, Student of Life.


Today I went food shopping.  The Chiquita bananas all had little
stickers on them.  Each sticker was of a different countries.

I bought all the bananas that had the Israeli Flag on them, and they
now decorate my fridge.

Suspiciously, the Arab stickers now decorate the 3 bananas that have
been smashed with what looks like two fingers going right through them.
.
-- 
--
hugs, Rachel
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: waldbyjf@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (The Sheik)
Subject: Light
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 22:03:51 GMT

Distribution: world

The tower was huge, gargantuan, a colossal demigod in the sky. It spun and  
twisted its way up towards a bright star millions of miles away. The tower  
appeared to be flowing upwards because all the people that ever existed  
except one were milling slowly up the inside of the winding building,  
erratically stopping and starting, visible through the glass walls. 

The cold wind whipped at Milne's face and he resumed his climb. Arms up  
pull legs up Arms up pull legs up Arms up pull legs up. The darkness would  
have been perfect were it not for the tower. He could not see the rope  
below him, only the silhouette as it aimed for the same destination as the  
tower. He continued to climb hoping that no one would notice him - they  
had other things. He knew that the tower was filled with distractions. The  
climbed jerkily as they stopped to watch a baseball play, or took a moment  
to lick the ice cream. Others sat, talking amidst themselves about  
politics and air-filled balloons.

Milne had nothing on his mind except the climb, and he progressed much  
more rapidly than the people, overcoming them in droves. Every now and  
then, someone from the tower would take a fancy him, and he would have to  
hang on with his life to the rope as they flapped fiercely about his head.  
They beat at him and lashed with their tongues, biting, but he didn't  
respond and they left.

Soon, he was at a height and the people in the tower had been left behind.  
Already, it would take them 50 years at least to reach this point in the  
tower. The climb became easier and easier, till at last it seemed as if he  
was floating up the rope, and then he was. The light became brighter and  
brighter ...

He had found the sun
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: new game show: is this a mid-life crisis?
From: cpl1@kimbark.uchicago.edu (M. d'Nereverri)
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 13:19:27 GMT
Reply-To: cpl1@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: The Lunatic Fringe

rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite who is not Kibo) writes:
>
>Oh boy!
>A Wisconsin-Illinois dick size war.
>What cab we expect next?
>Kansas-Missouri? Iowa-Nebraska?

oh, come *on* now.

there is *no* comparison between Iowa and Nebraska.

i mean, iowa's full of *iowegians*!


M.
ex-nebraskan
From: rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: IF IT'S NOT SCOTTISH! IT'S CRAP! (was: Re: STOP this crap) (YUCK! YUCK!)
Date: 3 Sep 92 00:43:34 GMT
Organization: 'Ex-Biology Grad Student, Student of Life.

IN TALK.BIZARRE jon@zeus.med.utah.edu (Jonathan Byrd) writes:
)
)HAW HAW HAW
)I GET IT!@#
)
)JOHN KENNEDY CANT SPEAK GERMAN!!@!@@
)
)I GET IT !!@!@@!
)
)HAW HAW DAN QUAYLE IS NO JOHN KENNEDY!@!# HAW! I GET IT.

AHHH.  Now look what you've done!  The possibilities are endless, *NOW*!



HAW HAW HAW
I GET IT!@#

<PROPER NOUN> CANT <VERB> {<NOUN>}!!@!@@

I GET IT !!@!@@!

HAW HAW <PROPER NOUN> IS NO <PROPER NOUN>!@!# HAW! I GET IT.


-- 
--
cj gypsy
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Activist shot at Berkeley Chancellor's home
Date: 28 Aug 92 23:47:42 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

It hardly matters who wrote:
|Nice to know you've got an open mind on this.If I'm holding a gun on somebody
|and they come at me I'll shoot.  Probably 15 times before stopping for 1.2
|seconds to reload.  I don't care if they're armed or not.  If they're crazy
|enough to attack then god knows what they'll do if they get my gun away.
|And if you think I'll take the chance of losing the gun to a 100 pound 
|lunatic then your elevator doesn't quite reach the top floor.

"They can have my gun when they pry it out of my cold,
tightly-clinched ASSHOLE."

mr HEINOUS
I am indeed VERY sorry I said this.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: eepmatt@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Matthew Friedman)
Subject: Re: please continue
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 10:23:00 GMT

In article <labagpINNbka@aludra.usc.edu> rone@aludra.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri) writes:
>nj:
>>He plunged his hands into the vat of teeming lice, then poured them over his
>mother, making sure to cover her well.  "Ok, Mum, when you're ready, make sure
to put the hat on." He ignited the butane torch and slowly approached the

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: please continue
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 17:23:44 GMT


>>>He plunged his hands into the vat of teeming lice, then poured them over his
>>mother, making sure to cover her well.  "Ok, Mum, when you're ready, make sure
>to breathe thru your nose. He then proceeded to take the paper bag full of
stinking cat turds and kitty litter, and spread it out on the bed in a six
pointed satanic symbol.


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,soc.culture.british
From: Terelelli Pictures (tep@limon.iksnet.hi.hi.hi)
Subject: Re: THE COMPLETE BRITISH TO AMERICAN DICTIONARY
Originator: Terelelli Pictures (tep@limon.iksnet.hi.hi.hi)
Organization: Terelelli Pictures Inc.
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 05:37:56 GMT


Morna J Findlay <morna@dcs.ed.ac.uk> writes:

> In article <d5jn_lr.rdc@netcom.com> rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy) writes:
>>
>>abstractour	-> abstractor
?>acceptour	-> acceptor
>>actour		-> actor

> etc
> This is almost completely wrong.

MORNA, 
\ 
HELLO. this guy Rachel or Rdc (carusso) is a jokemaker. He makes
stupid posts everytime to make jokes. He (she) is funny. But sometime
he lets nice people (like morna, you) make mistake posts to correction
his joke posts. I mean he is just kiding, dont take him (her)
seriuosly (he or she is veryt unserioos.)  He says LOSER to everybodyt 
he don't likes.  

bye bye, 
tep
--
They are the Grateful Dead, Jim.
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Context
Date: 27 Aug 92 19:48:08 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Organization: Naval Postgraduate School, Monterey CA

mjd@SAUL.CIS.UPENN.EDU (Mark-Jason Dominus) writes:

>	Myn housbonde was at Loundon al that Lente;
>	I hadde the bettre leyser for to pleye,
>	And for to se, and eek for to be seye,
>	Of lusty folk.  What wiste I wher my grace
>	Was shapen for to be or in what place?

HAW HAW HAW
I GET IT!@#

DAN QUAYLE CANT SPELL!!@!@@

I GET IT !!@!@@!

HAW HAW JUST LIKE POTATOE!@!# HAW! I GET IT.
From: EE117@LIVERPOOL.AC.UK
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re:  FEMINIST/DYKE JOKES WANTED
Date: 3 Sep 92 12:06:14 GMT
 <hal.714856224@yorku.ca> <1992Aug28.075718.9555@cc.uow.edu.au>
 <grendel.02wo@canetoad.UUCP>
Organization: University of Liverpool


"Mummy mummy what's a orgasm"
"Don't know love - ask your dad"

Oh, you wanted jokes *about* feminists - sorry.

--
Thinking that we're getting older   + Ian C. Smith,
                          and wiser,+ Dept of EE&E, Liverpool Uni.
When we're just getting old         + 10 Springbourne Rd, Liverpool L17 7BJ, UK
                  - David Gilmour   + ee117@uk.ac.liv.ibm
From: tomf@ai.bunny.gte.com (Tom Fawcett)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: vacation
Date: 25 Aug 92 19:05:13 GMT
Reply-To: tomf@gte.com
Organization: GTE Laboratories Inc.
In-reply-to: lstewart@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca's message of 25 Aug 92 15:41:08 GMT


L. Stewart, who is not on my coast, asks:

>  So how was your August?

This morning I went through my dissertation and put a hyphen in "state-space".
This afternoon I took it out again.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

-Tom
beach, whale, kick
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com (J H Woodyatt)
Subject: Re: GERMAN CLASS
Reply-To: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com
Organization: Abiogenesis 4 Less
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 22:46:58 GMT

Irene Marquez responds:
# rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) suggests:
# >Irene,
# >
# >   What you need to do now is post to talk.bizarre all the email you
# >   will undoubtedly recieve from all the horndog undergraduate computer
# >   geek wannabees who read the above late last night when they were
# >   supposed to be doing "Hello World!" for CS 0100 or whatever they call
# >   it these days.
# 
#     Damn!  I didn't realize my audience was that wide.  =(

Which was amusing by itself.

# Newsgroups: soc.culture.german,talk.bizarre,misc.test
                                              ^^^^^^^^^
                                                  |
Then there's this --------------------------------+

	...which is why I think this is the first time the misc.test
trick has actually amused me.

Thanks, Lt. White.  I have this wonderful mental image of Irene's
mounting horror as she realizes how wide her audience actually is.

I only wish I had a sample of her voice as she spoke the words,
``Damn!  I dind't realize my audience was that wide.''

``My God!  It's full of stars!''

-- 
J H Woodyatt (a.k.a. Dr. Strychnine)
Space Systems/Loral

"When people reached the last drop of their drinks, the face of Larry
Storch would seem to look out at them from the bottom, belch
contentedly and say, ``Now I am truly what I always was.  Pass the
corn nuts.''"
						     -- Larne Pekowsky
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: GOOLEY
Date: 4 Sep 92 16:59:06 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Organization: Elkhorn Yacht Club, Moss Landing CA

rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST) writes:

<rdc's attempt to crack Gooley's password deleted>

taurus% telnet uswat.advtech.uswest.com
Trying 130.13.16.1 ...
Connected to uswat.advtech.uswest.com.
Escape character is '^]'.

SunOS UNIX (uswat)

login: gooley
Password: h00ters      

TERM = (vt100)

rp -- all it takes is common sense.
From: rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Political Anagrams
Date: 1 Sep 92 23:45:55 GMT
Organization: 'Ex-Biology Grad Student, Student of Life.

al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka) writes:
)
)Ronald Wilson Reagan -- anagrams
)*********************************
) 1.  No!  Rare gonads win all!
) 2.  Answer: all God, no rain!
) 3.  Golden Arrow Inn.  Alas!
) 4.  A warier London slang.
) 5.  Gondolas nail Warner.
) 6.  Re: Al-Anon grows, Linda!
) 7.  Oregon'll drain Aswan!
) 8.  Ol' Nader is wrong, Lana!
) 9.  Lenin was a lord. <groan)
)10.  Iron law:  No anger, lads! 
)*********************************


I'm glad Ronald Wilson Reagan is missing a C and an additional S, so
that Dave Polewka could anagrapm it to my name.

carasso
-- 
--
cj gypsy
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson)
Subject: Re: BEST IN BED
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 27 Aug 92 10:06:45 CDT

In article <1992Aug26.182900.15583@dg-rtp.dg.com>, durway@rtp.dg.com (Lindsey Durway) writes:
|> In article <9208221438.08@rmkhome.UUCP>, rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly) writes:
|> > In article <1992Aug21.124603.11334@walter.cray.com> nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson) writes: 	  			    
|> > >
|> > >i have a friend that visits me every month, dominus, and i believe
|> > >my friend could prove your theory wrong.
|> > 
|> > Some of us here already believe that you don't have any friends.
|> 
|> Who said I was her friend?  I do it for the money.
|> 
25,000 quatloos per month, just as i promised.


-- 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (BoBteCh)
Subject: Re: figure it out for yourself, college boys
Organization: sulphur & oxygen
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 06:47:47 GMT

franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:

] 
] You know, it's not a crime to use all 80 columns just once in a while.
] 


bah.

or, specifically to please you,

bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  bah.  ba


BoB
teCh
and no bitching about capitalization, cha cha
From: edwardk@cup.portal.com (edward chungfan kwok)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: THE SECULAR HUMANISTS DICTIONARY
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 92 23:52:13 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)

>
>demigod		-----> demidog
>ergodic		-----> erdogic
>god		-----> dog
>goddess		-----> dogdess
>godfather	-----> dogfather
>godhead		-----> doghead
>godkin		-----> dogkin
>godlike		-----> doglike
>godmother	-----> dogmother
>godparent	-----> dogparent
>godsend		-----> dogsend
>godson		-----> dogson
>godwit		-----> dogwit
>pagoda		-----> padoga
>-- 
>--
>hugs, Rachel

here it is ... you asked for it.... 

What does a dyslexic secular humanist insomniac do?

ans: staying up all night pondering the non-existence of dog....

...sheeeeeesh....
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: an idea
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 92 15:47:55 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world
  <5999@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> <2772@nlsun1.oracle.nl>

: <5999@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil>rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
: |> Valerie Mates writes:
: |> >Anybody interested in considering splitting rec.food.veg into two
: |> >groups, one for discussion about vegetarianism and the other for
: |> >recipes and cooking tips?
: |>  
: |> I suggest we adopt the time-tested solution of K*nt Paul Dolan.
: |> 
: |> How about a CFD for rec.food.veg.advocacy.
: |> 
: |> rp -- I see a great need.
: 
Andy Symes, Speaking only For Myself:
: How about a rec.food.cannibalism as well? Cooking tips would also be welcome,
: and some ideas for butchery would not go amiss.
  
I suggest a subdivision for those vegetarians that additionally feast
on the Venus Flytrap
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant | Would You Like Fries With That?                 |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@netcom.com (richh)
Subject: Re: 'LOSS OF VIRGINITY' STORIES
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 92 19:32:52 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <BtszCL.4Ks@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM> jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
>Apparently RICHH wants to find out if it's worth the effort.

There are few things I enjoy more than a witty, trenchant, acerbic 
'not-getting-laid' flame from Woodsie, the undisputed master of that
unfairly-maligned genre.

As I recall, you last pulled out this particular weapon it was aimed
at Arizona.  

Heh.

Well, keep at it.  You'll strike paydirt yet.

RICHH
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:28013 alt.prose:1199 alt.sex:27970 alt.sex.bondage:16600 alt.butt.harp:219
From: iota@agora.rain.com (David Friedman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.prose,alt.sex,alt.sex.bondage,alt.butt.harp
Subject: Re:   RICHH: TELL ME SOMETHING TO MAKE ME HATE YOU
Date: 30 Aug 92 00:29:59 GMT
Organization: Open Communications Forum

Grendel,

	You left your arm at my house.  Do you still want it?



-- 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| Another stupid .sig file                |  iota...for the finest in          || * * * * * * * * * * * * *               |         brain candy                || iota@agora.rain.com                     |                                    |--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:28684 misc.test:10398
From: EE117@LIVERPOOL.AC.UK
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,misc.test
Subject: Re: figure it out for yourself, college boys
Date: 3 Sep 92 12:33:06 GMT
Organization: University of Liverpool

Origins somewhat vague but ...

>}>yes, i'm a feminist.  why do you fucking ask?
> [...]
>I love this. An ozzie telling someone else that _they_ have an
>attitude.

This has got to be the funniest thing I've seen on t.b. in ages : Ozzie
feminists - come on this has got to be as likely as an Ozzie abstinence
society

 Ian - "the only crims here are the ones behind bars"

P.S. - go on flame me it'll be a drop in the ocean compared to the misery
       inflicted by Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan, Clive James, Barry Humpheries
       Bluey, Skippy etc etc etc
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson)
Subject: Re: Rhapsody in Orange
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 1 Sep 92 09:28:35 CDT


|> >>|> >>|> >>Angst you glad you use Dali?
|> >>|> >>|> >Klee, Seurat, Seurat.
|> >>|> >>|> You've got nothing, Toulouse.
|> >>|> >>Donatella me. I don't want to know.
|> >>|> >With puns like this, you could make Monet as a stand-up.
|> >>|> You should see my Van Gogh when you step on Degas.
|> >>Lunch time...mmm...the Rubens look good today.
|> >Yes, but did you bring enough Manet?
|> If you see a waitress, will you Whistler down for me? 
Wyeth, I see her heading this way now.
From: dolan@XENON.BERKELEY.EDU (Kent Paul Dolan)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: illegal substances
Date: 2 Sep 92 21:33:54 GMT

Gypsy Meredith opines:

> My younger brother and I are still the only people I knwo of who have not
> tried any illegal substances.

to which M. d'Nereverri (oh, right) replied:

> Ahem.

Let me add my own "Ahem."  Never even felt the urge.  May be a generational
thing, more likely some of that "Wages of Stupidity" stuff; I simply know
better.

Hasn't stopped me from frying my brain repeatedly on perfectly _legal_
substances, just marks me smart enough to know that occassionally The Man
knows whereof He speaks.

Kent, the man from xanth.
--
<dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil> or <dolan@192.138.87.240>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: A New Dramatic Series from NBC
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 20:21:25 GMT


"Under normal condtions, Mr Smith, I could give you a $40 fine plus court
costs. But because you were speeding while fucking my wife, Im afraid Ill
have to sentence you to 40 years at hard labor."

"But your hono---"

Suddenly, a young lawyer bursts into the room. "Your honor, Bon Jovi is
here. I think theyre here to work out that multi-national heroin deal
with you."

"Ill see them in my quarters".

the scene fades. The next scene is two rugged, handsome men, around a
campfire.

"Man, that really sucks."

"Yeah"

the scene fades again, and now we are in a hospital.

"Dr Malthus, i sure hope you can finish up that bottle of AIDS-serum b
before you die of the rabies you got when the scabrous cat licked you."

"Why thank you, Mrs Bakker, but what i really want to do is lubricate you."

the scene fades, and now we are in the basement of some house somewhere,
where approximately 5 teen-agers are sitting around discussing the
direction they want their garage rock band to take.

VOICE OVER: "All of these young people have sexually transmitted diseases."

Teen-agers: "FUCK YOU ALL"

its just a pilot, but i think we got a hit

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre