HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kyraan@bach.udel.edu (Stephen Ch Litterst)
Subject: Re: How to have a good cry?
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 23:45:05 GMT

In article <1993Jan25.171216.22461@infodev.cam.ac.uk> gdb15@cl.cam.ac.uk writes:
>Oh dear, the flame wars are starting...  Anyway, if the more
>discerning among you can manage to ignore them, I'd be grateful if you
>could lend me an ear for a moment.  (Bi-relevance: none -- did you
>expect any from me?)

Anytime dear.  That's the prime reason I take part... to support and be
supported.  Bend away...
>
>dream, for instance.  Do people find it easier to cry alone, or do
>they prefer a shoulder to cry on?

I much prefer having someone's shoulder.  I've been having a few problems
recently as well, and unfortunately when I needed a shoulder most my best
friend got pissed at me for having such a pissy attitude towards life and
then I managed to piss Jim off and thus had no one to go to for a while and
was forced to deal on my own.  Shoulders are much better.
>
>--
>Guy Barry, University of Cambridge | Phone: +44 (0)223 334757 

					Steve L.

-- 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| "Life is far too brief , Existence is  |
| Stephen C. Litterst           |  meaningless, and the Universe has no  |
| kyraan@bach.udel.edu           \ purpose. That's the way it is, folks."|
|_litterst@freezer.cns.udel.edu___\_________ -Allan Dean Foster__________|
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: an2839@anon.penet.fi (Archer)
Subject: Re: soc.bi Frequently Answered Questions (FAQ)
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: soc.bi
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 21:21:18 GMT

rsr@soda.berkeley.edu (Roy S. Rapoport) writes:
> ->then please do not mention that you are straight in every single
> ->posting. 
> 
> I'll accept that ... You might want to explain why it's oK for us to mention
> we're bi in every post, though, while it's not OK for them to mention
> they're straight.

I'd like to hear this  :)   IMHO, it's okay for people to say that
they are straight every post if they really want to, but they should
try not to make it sound like they are saying that to put down bi's,
etc.  If you are trying to make a point, it might be necessary to
state you are straight.

I guess my point is that the above might not sound neutral to even
most bi-friendly straights.

-"Archer"
 Undecided; am I allowed to say that every post?  ;)
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From: weaverli0469@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: question about the triangle
Date: 24 Jan 93 13:02:04 -0600
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

Just a quick question : What does the triangle stand for? I see them every so
often at the bottom of people's notes...
        

     Like this one:
        _____
        \   /   
         \ /
    
Shawn

Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: kay@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Kay Dekker)
Subject: Re: Talking about sex (was Re: Party Face, Net Face)
Organization: Department of Computer Science, Warwick University, England
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 18:55:13 GMT

In article <1993Jan25.114850.8718@infodev.cam.ac.uk> gdb15@cl.cam.ac.uk writes:
>In article <1993Jan25.040631.12858@midway.uchicago.edu> ss19@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>>In article <1993Jan24.145815.27594@infodev.cam.ac.uk> gdb15@cl.cam.ac.uk writes:
>>
>>>As for trying to tell people I'm a virgin (aaarrrrggghhh! the V-word!)
>>>I sometimes get the impression that people would be happier hearing
>>>that I'm Jack the Ripper.  I'm not asking them to do a conversion
>>>job on me, just to accept the simple fact, but for some reason
>>>people find it difficult to deal with.  And yet I didn't *choose*
>>>to be a virgin, it just happens to be the default...
>>
>>   Perhaps there's a certain amount of discomfort because those
>>people feel that they can't adequately describe their experiences
>>to someone who hasn't been sexual?  
>
>Careful!  I said I was a virgin, not that I hadn't been sexual.  (Here
>I go, fending off all the old misconceptions again... sigh...)

OK then, Guy: what do you mean by "virgin"?  My simple off-the-cuff
version definition is "someone who hasn't had sex" - but that opens
the can of worms about what constitutes "sex.  And you say that
saying virgin to you doesn't equate with saying not having been
sexual.  I think I'd like clarification, if you'll give it.

			Kay
-- 
the Crisco Kid: quiet, shy, mono, Armani-suited.  Not.  idx009@uk.ac.cov.cck
From: alpha@w6yx.Stanford.EDU (Alpha Schram)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: I'm in hell... or at least Purgatory...
Date: 22 Jan 1993 20:37:51 GMT
Organization: Stanford University Amateur Radio Club, California USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: w6yx.stanford.edu

In article <C19DoK.318@ucunix.san.uc.edu> jonesek@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Erik Reid Jones) writes:
>I'd be
>curious to know just how many of the people on soc.bi are in
>some area of the fine arts and applied arts... 
>
>Erik Jones
> 
>
Me!  Here's one!  Theatre tech/stage management!

Alpha


-- 
Alpha Schram	alpha@w6yx.stanford.edu*################15################
1974 CB360 (Sexy Sadie)		       *#########Molly Goodenbour######### 
"It's not a big motorcycle,	       *####Stanford Women's Basketball###
just a groovy little motorbike..."     *---------ROMANI ITE DOMUM---------
From: pclary@mushroom.csc.calpoly.edu (Ellen Clary)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: soc.bi Frequently Answered Questions (FAQ)
Date: 28 Jan 93 19:34:23 GMT
Organization: Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, CA - aka Barnum & Bailey

Received: from fernwood.mpk.ca.us by garden.csc.calpoly.edu with SMTP

Roy writes:
>How do you think that self-esteem and personal comfort levels make a
>difference in ones attitude about sex? 

Errr, you mean you don't see any correlation?

>Are you saying that more self-assured
>people will tend to be easier WRT sex (easier here not used in a negative
>way, of course), or that they will be more choosy?

Well neither is quite what I was thinking (I don't quite follow your
usage of 'easier' either.)

I'm a little stumped because, like Arrowsmith said:  the correlation
seems utterly intuitive.  But I'll give it a try.  

This is how it works for me...
My sexuality is an important part of myself.  Being willing to be
sexual with someone, for me, requires me to like myself (i.e. self
esteem) enough to even allow someone that close to me.  But that's
not all of it. (This might be where your 'choosey' statement comes
in).  If I like myself, I am less likely to be sexual with someone that
I don't wish to be sexual with.  I am looking out for myself to
make sure I don't get in over my head.  Because I know I can do this,
I feel safer being sexual.  I trust myself to know what's best for
me.  Over time, this has made me feel much freer sexually.  I can
try something new or different sexually and know that if I feel
uncomfortable I can say so.  I am that important to me.  I can take
chances now that I couldn't a decade ago.

But self-esteem is only the foundation.  Experience is also involved.
Knowing that I've been able to be sexual (or been able to choose not 
to be sexual) and not get hurt in the process is a major portion of it.
And then there's always learning from one's mistakes as well. <sigh>

Having and maintaining self-esteem is also an ongoing process.  Recently, 
I discovered a large gaping hole in my self-esteem (which I'm not going 
to explain) that I didn't know was there.  (Experience can be a harsh 
teacher at times.) I'm well on the way to filling that gap, but it can 
take a long time, but it's well worth it <smile>.


Ellen
ellen@dgi.com
From: zzaascd@hpa.ee.man.ac.uk (Colin Dente)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: I'm coming!
Date: 25 Jan 93 11:23:46 GMT
Reply-To: colin@manchester.ac.uk
Organization: Electrical Engineering Dept Manchester University

In article <1993Jan20.153212.26647@dcs.warwick.ac.uk>, kay@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Kay Dekker) writes:
|> 
|> I'm not sure what I'd do with a smmoch; it sounds Gaelic; but coming from
|> you it's bound to be good...

You say the sweetest things, Kay dear - I'll have to show you what a smmoch
is in Cambridge...

|> Douglas Adams, in HHG, surely?
|> 
|> 	"*The* Zaphod Beeblebrox?"
|> 	"No, just *a* Zaphod Beeblebrox - haven't you heard
|> 	 I come in six-packs?"

Several people have suggested this.  I was actually thinking of a Fry and
Laurie sketch from circa 1989 - it's all about poetry, and jolly funny.  The
relevant lines are

Hugh:    "... it's by T. P. Mitchell."
Stephen: "What, *the* T. P. Mitchell?"
Hugh:    "No, *a* T. P. Mitchell."

Probably looses something in the translation.  Still, I *did* say it was
obscure.

Colin

  Colin Dente                     | JANET: dente@uk.ac.manchester
  Manchester Computing Centre     | ARPA:  dente@manchester.ac.uk
  University of Manchester, UK    | UUCP:  ...!mcsun!ukc!manchester!dente
             	   ... I can't even *think* straight ...
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk (Ian Watters)
Subject: Re: Gay soda! I'm so excited!           
Reply-To: iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 21:30:00 +0000

Alpha:
>Brits find the drinking of HERBAL tea an affectation beyond belief.  They
>MUST have their caffeinated variety.

Times change.  At the London Bi Group we sell roughly equal ammounts of
herbal tea, "tea" and coffee.  Only two people take sugar in the latter two.

Why anyone wants to drink anything other than grapefruit juice and lemonade
is beyond me <grin>.
---
iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk  |  Hon Secretary of the London Bisexual Group
                              |  c/o BM BI, London, Great Britain  WC1N 3XX
<< Never mind the LBG, *I* disagree with everything here, including this >>

>>>MATRIX version  1.21e
From: dwells@lonestar.utsa.edu (Darren . Wells)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Polyamory and friendships
Date: 26 Jan 93 23:24:41 GMT
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio

In article <1993Jan26.055518.2883@fuug.fi>
 an2839@anon.penet.fi (Archer) writes:

>
>Hey!  Where's the hugs I asked for!  What kind of support group is
>this???  ;)
>
>-"Archer"

Oh yeah.

*HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG
HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG
HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG*

Repeat dosage as required.

Darren
(always up to helping people out with meeting their hug quota
for the week/day/hour)
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 12:58:04 EST
From: Psycho!! <HOLTONS@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: you know, it always seems... was Re: phrases and sex roles

In article <1993Jan22.165404.4070@lclark.edu>, tonyd@lclark.edu (Anthony Davis)
says:
>
>it always seems that when i log on to my account that there are
>invariably 69 articles to read in soc.bi.


   Gawd help us if you come across a news group with 666 entries to read...

*********************************************************************
* Steve Holton             *                                        *
* HOLTONS@QUCDN.QueensU.CA *                                        *
*                          *  Bend, fondle and manipulate.          *
* Queens University        *                                        *
* Canada, eh?              *                                        *
*********************************************************************
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: st891487@pip.cc.brandeis.edu
Subject: Re: Why I won't "dance" (was Re: Why I read a.s.a.r.)
Reply-To: st891487@pip.cc.brandeis.edu
Organization: Brandeis University
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 16:34:38 GMT

In article <1993Jan19.204710.2964@infodev.cam.ac.uk>, gdb15@grebe.cl.cam.ac.uk (Guy Barry) writes:
>In article <1993Jan18.220831.13448@dcs.qmw.ac.uk> arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk (Angus H Rodgers) writes:
>>
>>What I *really* fear is being expected to be able to dance. I'll just
>>have to hope that someone will get me really drunk, and force me onto
>>the floor ... I'll rephrase that ... oh, never mind.
>
>Stand up for yourself!  I've been equally intimidated in my time by
>the "anyone who doesn't like dancing is a boring nerd who doesn't know
>how to enjoy himself" crowd.  In vain do I try to convince them by
>finding equally valid ways of enjoying myself, like singing along with
>someone's Manuel de Falla tape, playing table-tennis with a balloon,
>or trying to start a game of "Just a Minute" -- they haven't the
>faintest idea of how to join in with anything.  No, no, no, you've all
>got to get together in a room with some awful thump-thump-thump racket
>going on and shake yourself about in the most visually unappealing
>fashion you can think of.  And you must at all times behave as though
>you were the only person on the dance floor.  You mustn't look at
>anyone, or touch anyone, or interact in any fashion.  When someone
>says "Do you want to dance with me?" it actually means "Do you want to
>stand two feet away from me and totally ignore me?"
>
>Ooooh!  The more I think about it, the more I hate it.  Well I can
>proudly say that I have steadfastly refused to get involved with
>any of this nonsense.  Of course, nobody invites me to their
>parties any more...
>
>
>--
>Guy Barry, University of Cambridge | Phone: +44 (0)223 334757 
>Computer Laboratory                | Fax: +44 (0)223 334678
>New Museums Site, Pembroke Street  | JANET: Guy.Barry@uk.ac.cam.cl 
>Cambridge CB2 3QG, England, UK     | Internet: Guy.Barry@cl.cam.ac.uk 

 In school I always found that when I attended parties there would be a number
of (usually) loud and obnoxious people in the middle of the floor "partying",
and there would be a few individuals sort of washed up along the sides of the
room. The latter were always more fun to be with and talk to. I still talk to
some of them. Don't really remember who was in the middle anymore.

  -Ximena
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk (Ian Watters)
Subject: Coming out? + de-muffining              
Reply-To: iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 23:01:00 +0000

Dane becoming the nth muffin of the month:
>Hello!  And *huuuuuuugs* to all!  <pop> I'm outta the oven, and
>golden-brown!  Aaaaaahhhhhh - it's much cooler out here.  :)

"Oh my gawd, Chuck, they're *breeding*!"  <hug>

>Why do people feel it necessary to "come out" to the world when they
>discover/realize/admit that they are bi/gay?

As others have said, there are a range of reasons.  But how else do you get
your friends to sort of slide up to you and say, "Well, actually..." <grin>

  //\/\/  iwatters@cix.compulink.co.uk
          Oh, what a wondrous piece of work is a muffin

>>>MATRIX version  1.21e
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: vashti@concave.cs.wits.ac.za (Vashti Galpin)
Subject: Re: going to the bar;1st time
Organization: What's that?
Date: 21 Jan 93 11:10:33 GMT

In <30458@castle.ed.ac.uk> moragw@castle.ed.ac.uk (Alloy Serving Woman) writes:
>Shawn,
>Don't know if you'll get this in time but good luck in the bar, the
>thought of taking the plunge in that direction has caused me such
>nervousness that I've backed out of every meeting and trip so far.  I'll
>go eventually, I mean I do _want_ to <thinks of some of the lesbians
>spotted at the filmhouses showing of that lesbian vampire film last
>term.. >

All though this wasn't addressed to me, let me add my two cents worth.
I know exactly want you mean. When I was in Britain a few years ago, I
stayed in a feminist B&B in Hove, and the woman who ran it invited me
to a women's barndance. I agreed then chickened out a bit later. I'm
still kicking myself, seeing I don't really get that type of
opportunity here. Of course, then I was even more confused than I am
now, as I didn't know I could call myself bi, but I was attracted to
women. All those interesting women, and I'm too timid to approach
them - it's not fair.

>All I need is a teensy piece of confidence so anyone with some to
>spare..

Well, if you find any, let me know - I guess I'll need it when I arrive
in the UK.

And Shawn, I hope it went well.
                                                                ____ 
                                                                \bi/ 
Vashti, the scaredy-cat                                          \/
From: st891487@pip.cc.brandeis.edu (Schwartzberg, Queen of Spades)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Unashamed....
Date: 27 Jan 93 14:54:33 GMT
Reply-To: st891487@pip.cc.brandeis.edu
Organization: Brandeis University

In article <1993Jan27.071153.15468@cltr.uq.OZ.AU>, yal@lingua.cltr.uq.OZ.AU (Yvette Lian) writes:
>Well, folks... this is a completely, utterly unashamed request for birthday
>greetings of any kind!  I turn 19 on the 31st of January (yippee).. I
>figure this post might have propagated by that stage :)

Congratulations are in order for remembering your birthday. (I forgot my 
nineteenth birthday, Slipped my mind.)
Turning nineteen was no great shakes, but I guess you'll make of it something
interesting :).

>I've just gotten home (well, I got home a few days ago) from my Senior NCO
>course for cadets... and, well... *she grins shyly and looks at her
>feet*... I duxed it... 80 people, and I duxed :)

You did what? Is that legal in this state? Translate for the ignoramus, and
than if it's appropriate I'll say something encouraging. No really, I will.

>*grins some more and looks around shyly*
>
>(notice also the unashamed requests for e-congratulations for doing so
>great on her sergeant's course)
>
>cu later!
>*hugs* to all who want/need them..

Thanks, I needed that. <cold nose in ear> (do you get those in Australia?)

>Max
>(Or Yvette, for people like Nic who don't like to call me Max anymore :) )
>
>
>--
>Yvette Lian
>yal@lingua.cltr.uq.oz.au 
>FIDO: 3:640/352 
>IRC nick: Maxine2

  -Schwartzberg
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (Piglet)
Subject: Re: gratuitous mumbling
Organization: the house on the corner
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 17:19:47 GMT

In article <1993Jan22.171326.8329@udel.edu> litterst@pecan.cns.udel.edu (Stephen Litterst) writes:
>In article <MUFFY.93Jan21224543@remarque.berkeley.edu> muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy) writes:
>>Yeah, but you *have* to all stick together...there is nowhere else for
>>you to go.  I hear you can bicycle across Delaware *twice* in one day!
>
>Never tried it myself, I've got better things to do *twice* in one day.  And
>at least we're not in danger of falling into the ocean. (Just in danger of
>falling into that wonderful toxic waste dump know as New Jersey. :))


Only twice?  Hm.  Think I'll stay in NJ.  (We keep the toxic waste
confined to small areas like Newark, and show those to people that
we don't want to have move here...)


Piglet, temporary Jersey girl, minus the BigHair
        who needs muscles when your hair can be your biggest part?
        'cause you can flex big hair....
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: daveb@harlqn.co.uk (Dave Berry)
Subject: Re: Odd passage from a book in 1937...
Organization: Harlequin Ltd, Cambridge, UK
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 16:42:14 GMT

elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg) writes:
>      Who knows if the time will not also come one day, when the
>   highest class of people will be ambisexual,
>                  - Dr. Johann Rutgers, 1937.
>
>   Of course, Rutgers didn't get EVERYTHING terribly accurate.

I don't think that even the quoted text is accurate, at least not literally.
We're not a "higher class of people" just because we're bisexual.

Dave.
Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: sa121@cl.cam.ac.uk (S. Arrowsmith)
Subject: Re: Why I won't "dance" (was Re: Why I read a.s.a.r.)
Reply-To: SA121@phx.cam.ac.uk
Organization: Glad to be Sad
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 11:49:45 GMT

In article <1993Jan20.192441.20687@dcs.qmw.ac.uk> arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk (Angus H Rodgers) writes:
>I think this is because you can't dance if you are always trying to hold
>your sexuality inside, out of sight (uptight, not at all all right).
>
>I sometimes manage to dance when I'm on my own [laughter], because
>then I'm not having to hide, sexually, from everybody. I'd like to
>be able to learn to do the same thing when there *are* other people
>around.
>
I'm not too convinced that it is something "sexual" -- although the
line of reasoning I'm about to give leads there.  At the core of it,
I think, is a wish not to be embarassed in any way.  There is always
(well, usually) a nagging fear (or, indeed, knowledge) that you *can't*
dance, and if you tried to in front of folk (particularly strangers)
they'd think you were a completely hopeless case.  This is why it's
possible to dance on your own -- there's no-one watching.  Loss of
sobriety also helps (-8

The question then, is, why do you object to looking like a complete
idiot in front of people?  This is where the sexual aspect comes in.
Perhaps the wwhole dancing business is part of the human "mating"
ritual (making allowances that we're not playing by normal rules
around here), and amongst those watching you are potential partners
whom you want to impress.  Or, at least, you don't want them to think
you're a total prat.  If you believe, rightly or wrongly, that you
can't dance, you won't want to compromis yur chances by doing so.

--
\S
SA121@phx.cam.ac.uk | "Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for
        ___         |  some people it is a complete substitute for life."
        \X/         |     -- Andrew Brown, The Independent
From: weaverli0469@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: I'm finally meeting people :)
Date: 24 Jan 93 18:56:21 -0600
Organization: University of Northern Iowa


Hello everybody. I just want you to know that I FINALLY got to go to the bar.
It was great! I totally enjoyed myself. The first few hours were adjusting
hours, but after that it was a snap. My friends introduced me to a couple of
their friends. We talked for a while, then shoot pool, then talk. There was
this one woman though .... GOD she was to die for!!! She was so beautiful. We
have a lot in common, etc, but she's having troubles with a relationship.... it
may be over. I wanted to tell her if she needed to talk I was here, but we
hardly knew eachother. So I just got to know her better. While we were talking
I could feel this connection between us... Which was way cool. I wanted to ask
her to dance, but knowing her situation I declined and just talked. Maybe next
time :) *grin* Anyway, It was a blast. I got a hug from her, which I really
wanted :) and she said "I hope you come back". My heart melted. Anyway, I've
got to go... Just wanted to share my great news :) *HUGS* *SNUGGLES* and more
*HUGS* :)
Shawn

Newsgroups: soc.bi
From: safarj@rs6221.ecs.rpi.edu (Jonah Emanuel Safar)
Subject: Re: This is a post.
Keywords: Whatever.
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 15:51:00 GMT

orc@sybase.com (Orc) writes:

>In article <1993Jan26.203420.17959@cbnews.cb.att.com> eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (Piglet) writes:
>>CFV: date for North NJ party.....get your vote in now....bidding starts
>>soon.....Points?......Orc?......other travelling or resident soc.bi-ers?

Well, frankly, I thought I had made it rather clear when I would be
back in NJ.. namely, the long weekend of the 14th (February) through
to Tuesday... more likely, I'll be there from Sunday night until
Tuesday afternoon or so.

-Points (Dragon on wheels.)
-- 
________________________________________________________________________________
 If the President won't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his Country. -Unknown
________________________________________________________________________________
Jonah E. Safar             R.P.I., Troy, NY              EMail to:safarj@rpi.edu