Newsgroups: alt.rock-n-roll.metal
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 16:26:50 -0500 
From: Eric Scott Jefferson <ej0i+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Poseur Bands

Morbid Angel -
	Now you may think these guys are a cool death metal band but I was
reading in guitar world magazine that Trey Azogthoth's all time favorite
guitarist was Eddie Van Halen and his all time favorite group was Van
Halen. He pciked Van Halen I as the greatest metal album ever. Also he
said that groups such as Napalm Death sucked since no grindcore band had
any talent. The other guitarist (can't remember his name) said in a
later interview that Ace Frehley was his favorite guitarist. Thus this
band should not be listened to. Any posts about this band on the bboard
should be considered the posts of posuers and should be flamed.

Anthrax-
	As has been pointed out, Kiss is probably the favorite band of this
group or at least of Scott Ian (who also listens to rap. Arrrggghhhh!
Everyone knows black people can't produce good music. We have the word
of Sauron that rap sucks). This band did a cover of Kiss's Parasite and
also did a song with Public Enemy. Thus not a real metal band

S.O.D.
	I am including this group here mainly because they did a Nirvana cover
tune on their Live at Budokan album. Also this group features Scott Ian
(see Anthrax above). They also did a Joan Baez cover tune on Speak
English or Die (Diamonds and Rust). Yuck! Not a metal band.

Megadeth
	Definitely a poseur band. Their new album features harmonies and other
musical ideas which are more suited to a pop metal band than a thrash
band. Also since Axl Rose is considered such an asshole David Mustaine
must be too, after all no one can tolerate being around him for any
length of time (except Dave Ellefson). The band members in Slayer hate
him for example as does Mike Muir. David Mustaine also regularly appears
now on MTV and in an interview with SPIN seemed to consider making money
the chief function of a band. Do not, under any circumstances lsiten to
this band.

Testament
	Obviously The Ritual is a sellout. One need only listen to The Electric
Crown to hear the pop metal influences. This band has gone poseur and
again should not be listened to.

Any Seattle band
	Seattle bands do not continually sing about the dark side of life
(which death bands seem to mean chopping up babies) and thus should
never under any circumstances be considered metal (well Alice In Chains'
songs are pretty dark but they are about drugs which we all no is a
non-problem while serial killers and Satan are real problems)

Helmet
	Page Hamilton said in Guitar World that he considers death metal bands
to be stupid since all they do is sing about babies being chopped to
bits. This is sacrilege anyone knows that babies being chopped to bits
is very intelligent. Also Page Hamilton likes Aerosmith thus this band
should also not be listened to.

Slayer
	An obvious poseur band. For one thing they do not like death metal
since they consider this music to take everything to ridiculous extremes
(this was said in an interview with RIP). Also Seasons in the Abyss was
an obvious sellout. And they like the rap group the Geto Boys and anyone
that likes rap is an obvious poseur, no repreieve.

Danzig
	With all the slow ballads they do (i.e. How the Gods Kill) how can this
be considered a metal band? Also Glenn Danzig made Black Aria an album
of classical music! 

Obituary
	Metal music is supposed to be about the dark side of life but this band
never uses any real lyrics to their songs, John Tardy just sort of
grunts. Thus not a metal band

Suicidal Tendencies
	We have all heard from Maple that The Art of Rebellion is a sell out.
What with all the harmoies and rhythms on this album how can it be
anything but. Besides commercial radio and MTV have been playing Nobody
hears and I'll Hate You Better. Thus this band is history

Faith No More
	This band uses rapping in some of their songs such as Epic. Bleah! An
obvious poseur band

Iron Maiden
	This band cites Kiss as a major influence. Arrrggghh! Also No Prayer
for the Dying was an obvious sellout. Thus this band should not be
listened to. Throw away all your old Iron Maiden albums.

This list is far from complete and will thus be added to from time to time.
	


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"I got something to say, I killed your baby today and it doesn't matter
much to me as long as it's dead
I got something to say. I raped your mother today and it doesn't matter
much to me as long as she spread" -- The Misfits
"They're out ta get me. They won't catch me. 'Cause I'm innocent." --
Guns N' Roses
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