From: dayrton@eagle.wesleyan.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Advice, consensus sought
Date: 7 Sep 92 16:23:37 GMT
Organization: Wesleyan University

In article <1992Sep3.234957.9243@bsu-ucs.uucp>, 01ksdavis@bsu-ucs.uucp writes:
> 
> 	It has been a long time since my last posting.

I believe the whole phrase is "Bless me Terminal, for I have dropped carrier. 
It has been [nnn] days since my last login..."   


> 		I had a really bad break-up with my last serious girlfriend who
> happened to be two years younger than I.  She dumped me for a brain-dead foot-
> ball player.
> 
> 	Time passed, and here, two years later, on the same campus, in the same
> chemistry class, is my ex-girlfriend.
[...]
> 	Also, after our talk she gave me her phone number.  I haven't called her
> yet, but I did sit next to her in class today.
> 
> 	What should I do?  Part of me wants to run away, as she has hurt me
> (emotionally) really bad before.  Yet, another part of me wants things as they
> were before I am not sure if I got this last part here worded right.
[...]
> 	BTW-I didn't do much today during chemistry class. . .  Much note-taking
> or much of anything. . .  

Ok.  She wants to see you.  Women can be puzzling to us poor male creatures,
but her giving you her phone number is a pretty clear signal.  You still have
feelings for her or else you wouldn't be so confused, you'd either be amused
or annoyed.   You _could_ just run as far away from her as possible, but you'll
never know if you are missing something wonderful if you do that.  Of course,
you could be miserable, too.  That's your risk to take, and life is all risks.
  
My advice?  If you really like her, then see her.  Do something 
non-threatening for you, eat lunch out together or have tea.  If it seems 
that she's interested in starting up a new relationship with you, then talk 
to her seriously and tell her _everything_ about how you felt when you broke 
up the last time.  This part is important, because if you don't it will just 
fester.  Tell her your fears about her, tell her it will be hard to trust her
again.  Insist that the relationship go slowly, and as it goes, tell her what
is going on for you, but don't make her feel that she's going to have to pay 
for her leaving you every day for the rest of her life, just tell her how you 
feel about her.  If she stops talking, bail out.  Actually, if any lover stops
talking, bail out. 

It sounds like you both were pretty young when you were together, and people
mature (well, most do anyway...)  It could well be that she sees now that you
were better for her than anyone else.  If you think the same of her, go for it. 
You'll never know unless you give her another (but only _one_ more) chance.   


> 	Help me.  Please.

Trying the best my febile brain will allow, as filtered through a NewsGroup.


> 	I have already asked some of my friends (actually just the female ones-
> all of the guys I hang out iwht are generally as clueless about women as I am)
>  and so far, I haven't gotten a response.  Actually, I did get a response 
> from  one, and basically since she omitted everything about this same topic,
> I think she wants me to make this decision for myself.

She's right, you do have to decide on your own.  My vote is to give her ONE
and only one more chance.


> 	I should.  Normally I don't have any problem making decisions, but this
> is quite different.  This is not normal.

Sure it is normal.  You are trying to apply your logical skills to a problem
that has defied logic for as long as the concept of "love" has been around. 
Unless there is something truely twisted  about this woman that you are
ignoring this is a problem of the heart, not the brain.

Keep in touch.