From: clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu)
Subject: Re: Montel Williams Show (Re: Hoyt Sze will be on TV!
Organization: Nynex Science and Technology
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 92 13:30:35 GMT

In article <2186@usna.NAVY.MIL> wdw@math2.sma.usna.navy.MIL (Wm. Douglas Withers -- math  FACULTY <wdw@sma.usna.navy.mil>) writes:
>I am not Asian-American, but I have been following this group for a while
>trying to get some insights.  Now from the commentary on the Montel Williams
>show and from other remarks made here recently I get the impression that
>there is frequently some resentment on the part of Asian-American men
>towards Asian-American women having to do with interracial relationships.
>
>Why should there be such a sentiment? Then again, am I misreading something?
>Anyone care to enlighten me?

  As you saw on the Montel Williams show, an Asian American woman gets
  up in front of national TV and says that Asian men are unattractive,
  gross her out, and have bad eating habits.  Therefore she will never
  date Asian or Asian American men.

  If White women said that about White men, if Black women said that
  about Black men, how do you think the White men or Black men would feel?

  Furthermore, if Asian American men went around ragging on Asian /AA women
  wherever they went, snubbing any Asian/AA women who even wanted to talk
  to them, and proudly proclaim that they will NEVER EVER go out with an 
  Asian/AA woman if she were the last woman on earth.  How do you think
  Asian/AA women would feel?  [I've seen all the above by AA women towards
  Asian/AA men].  I get the feeling that some Asian/AA women would rather
  date white women than Asian/AA men, at least that's what some white dykes
  tell me...  :-(

  If a lot of Asian/AA men run into Asian/AA women who not only hold these
  negative attitudes, but practice them [i.e. "Like how dare you ask me to
  dance?  Yuk, ugh, gross, get out of my face."], then naturally they'll
  build up resentment.  How would you feel if someone categorized your
  sex/race-type (whatever it is), and you find that women you approach or watch
  on TV talk shows tell everyone else how worthless you are (just because
  of your sex/race-type).  Obviously since these women have eliminated your
  sex/race-type, they'd have to go out with another sex/race-type.  Hence
  your resentment and frustration.

  I don't think it's as much resentment towards the interracial aspects,
  as that a significant group of people are flat out rejecting another
  group of people due solely on their sex/race-type.  The rejected people
  will naturally resent both the people who reject them and the others
  who think they're superior because they're the desired sex/race-type.
  What hurts even more is that the people rejecting you are your own
  race-type.  So naturally you start to wonder, if she thinks my facial
  features are ugly, what is she saying about her own?  Hmmm.... must
  be she hates the way she looks also, thus Hoyt Sze's low self-esteem
  comment.  Then you wonder where she picked up this low self-esteem as
  to reject herself through rejecting you.  After all, we all know that
  dating leads to marriage which leads to kids.  And she must not want
  to have kids with you because she doesn't want to perpetuate yours and
  her facial features.  The obvious answer to where the low self-esteem
  comes from is (you got it), racism, and the definition of beauty based
  on the facial and physical characteristics of another race.  Before
  Black pride came along, Blacks (including Detroit Red, aka Malcolm X
  were straightening their hair, and trying to lighten their skin).  So
  Asian/AA people aren't the only ones who bought into this.  But Black
  people are 50-100 years ahead of Asian/AA people in terms of pride, and
  consciousness.  So until we start looking in the mirror and truly
  liking ourselves, we'll always have this problem of unequal dating
  preferences.  [Women are more affected by society's beauty standards,
  and are more look-conscious then men.]