From: bob@netxcom.netx.com (Robert Thralls)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.poems
Subject: Results for _Flight_of_the_Narrator_ (an obscure defense)
Date: 14 Aug 92 22:11:38 GMT
Followup-To: Application for admission
Organization: NetExpress Inc., Vienna, VA, USA

a: first of all, there were some changes, see section 4
b: second of all, you have to go to the bottom for the results.

here is the defense of my awkwardness:

1. meter

	The meter of the poem must change, as with my views throughout life.
	If things remain constant (or consistent) we have not implemented
	what we have learned.

	I stand accused of using a meter that is inconsistent. And a 
	format that has a bunch of A's in it. One person even suggested
	that I use a format with a bunch of B's blended in with the A's,
	but since I've never studied poetry, this doesn't make a whole
	lot of sense to me. I figure it must have to do with the way
	it rhymes.

	Maybe I should explain my conception of the way it rhymes.
	Perhaps, the way it doesn't rhyme is more appropriate.
	Anyway, a "format" as still is undefined to me is as such:

	rules: 
		a: entries are double, two for each line, commas used as 
		   separators.
		b: numbers represent numbered syllables on the rhyme.
		c: letters represent unique sounds to rhyme on
		d: - represents awkward rhyme
		e: * represents awkward rhythm
		f: & reprents alternative word meanings
		g: ( comment line
		h: each line reprents a line from the poem in the order of 
		   appearance.
		i: ignore that this *seems* like programatic output.
	
	7,7		a,b		-,
	7,7		a,b		-,
	8,6		c,b		
	8,6		c,b				&,&

				( b is single syllable rhyme
    
	8,6		d,e		,-		,&
	8,6		d,e		,-
	8,6		f,e		-,
	8,6		f,e		-,
    
	8,6		g,h		
	10,8		g,h		-*,
	8,6		g,h
	10,8		g,h		-*,

				( repeat of awkward pattern
    
	7,6		i,b
	7,6		i,b
	7,6		i,b		-*,-*
	7,6		i,b		-*,-*

				( repeat of awkward pattern

	9,7		j,k		*,*
	7,7		j,k		*,*		&,
	7,6		j,k		*,*
	9,7		j,k		*,*

				( starting pattern repeats once

	Now, I realize that this means as little to you as your A-A-A-A
	means to me, so let me be more clear...

	There is pattern within the first three columns on a stanza by
	stanza basis. The fact that one event changed me, also, the
	poem must change, but remain with the context of events.

	awkwardness represents change (within the context of poem theme).

	life itself is awkward, isn't it??
	

2. forced rhyme

	Many things are forced upon us during life, this is just to emphasize
	that I went with flow, even though it seemed unnatural or insome cases
	I was reluctant to change.

3. title

	Yes, most everyone caught the title hook from "Flight of the Navigator"
	though most missed the moral from the "Never Ending Story" at the
	end, not that it is relative, but both of which starred the same 
	Actor. (obscure) The other obscure reference to this is that the 
	Never Ending Story had a sequel, something like an oxymoron. 
	The same is true for my life, after being "dead", once physically, 
	and the other throughout most of my marriage. The chance to alter 
	how a story ends is a unique one. My story began again after the first
	death in 84. My story ends with a loop, form an opinion, 
	observe others, relate to opinion, reform that opinion. 
	That is the never ending quest that I perpetuate. Perpetual 
	thought, ending where you began, with each spiral at least 
	slightly different from the previous one (sort of like the chinese 
	dynasty syndrome)

4. obscurity
	
	Uh, er - that's just the way I am.
	Well how about if I just explain intent--
	The question section specifically headed by the word: "Narrative".
	My intent is show learning and growth from mistakes made, not to 
	necessarily recount the events themselves.


~Flight of the Narrator

	Yes, similar enought to Flight of the Navigator, 
	obscure, but also adds to the nautical theme. The
	story of the Navigator was not about his flight, for he
	was comatose during that portion, but more of his plight
	after his return to Earth when the aliens could not send
	him back through time to place him where they stole him from.

~
~	
~    There could have been one other born of that December's day
~    For he would have his druthers and continue on his way

	This obscure reference is to my closest friend, Jenny,
	who happens to have been born the exact same time that I was.
	(as it happens), our mothers were also born of the same day.

	The other obscure reference is my physical rebirth the one
	other can also mean me (again). No I'm not borne again...
	But I did physically die (legally dead August 14, 1985)
	Cause of death was an unattented ruptured spleen from a 
	motorcycle accident (ran over by LARGE truck), the 
	ambulance drivers were complete idiots (DeKalb County Police).
	That's another story...
	I went to Tulsa once, but now "I'm livin' on borrowed time".

~    A tale of tales, indeed, but true; so let us not delay
~    Essay through time to carry crew, within his knowledge quay

	Essay is not for a "written matter", but means "attempt" in
	this context.

	crew is the readerSHIP.

	quay is the cargo hold of the ship, my memories.
	One need not go with me, only examine the collection of memories
	stored below deck to have been with me. This is the intent of the
	application... They will be reviewing my autobiography (is that
	redundant?)
	
~    
~    Stories begin to end right here, walking the line backward
~    He learns a living out of fear and to it he is moored

	backward is pronounced off key (perhaps forced, but the 
	meaning is relevant in the context that I have a career 
	then go to school for it. Also, that I am reviewing the 
	trip in reverse. Also, that the story can only be told
	'to date', therefore, the end of the story can only 
	possibly end in the present.

	learning a living out of fear

		simply put, I was forced to learn programming
		in order to support a wife and THREE children.

		fear is a universal motivator, or so at least it seems to be.

		I was young and scared to death of the real world,
		mostly after tossing myself to the wolves (a pack headed
		by my x) The only withdrawl symptom of a sheltered life
		was the fear of the unknown. Fear of failure.

	and to it he is moored
		Now I am tied to my job through a separation agreement.
		Not this particular job, but I have to keep my income
		at the level it is currently at to make alimony and
		childsupport payments, provide complete medical, dental,
		eye coverage as well as save for my children's education.
		Amoung other things that I have agreed to do.
		I couldn't quit to return to school, if I wanted too.
		I can't even switch careers to something else, unless
		the income would match my present.


~    Forever typing line by line his program will be stored

	reference one: career
		adequate to reflect programming.
	reference two: life
		living one day at a time.

~    Longer than he will live this time, never will he be bored

	reference one: career
		my work will out live me, and it keeps me busy.
	reference two: life
		my children will out live me, and never a dull moment.

	This also (sort of) displays that I realize the limits of immortality,
	even though I am prepared to die upon completion of my work here,
	I shall not die, ever, not until the last person has muffled my
	name and fails to see the pertenence of using it, but I won't 
	claim the stories as my own by that point- hopefully they will
	have been modified to fit needs of the present. If that is just short
	of a hundred years, then great. I fully expect that a hundred
	years from now nobody will give a shit.

~    
~    Offspring arrive throughout his past, first Lamaze in a class

	the first child was in a very "alopathic" environment,
	ie: do it naturally, but trust your doctor. Just as Lamaze teaches.

~    Keagle, Keagle, though bikini cut cast the next as Bradley under glass

	Lamaze practice was futile, the doctor ordered an unnecessary
	c-section. The surgeon was almost as upset as we were.

	The next child we were less trusting of the doctor, more trusting
	in nature (Bradley method); questioned everything.

	when one questions authority, he throws of the meter of the
	organization that is trying to apply its blanket policy, in doing
	this, I thought I'd throw yours off to yeild the same frustration
	(of both sides - mine and the hospice).

	At that time, VBAC (Vaginal Birth after caesarean) were very uncommon.
	It appears as Hospital rules are written by very conservative people,
	based not on what is possible, but on insurance rates. VBAC's are
	considered high risc (ripping of the uterous around less flexible
	scar tissue) by insurance companies because there simply isn't 
	enough data collected (a catch-22 or milo-18, depending on when
	you read it, the title was changed to catch-22 after milo-18 was
	revealed to be a copyrighted work by another author).

	Our second birth violated hospital rules, got the doctor dropped
	from his association with that hospital, but nevertheless was
	a smashing success. scrutinized, as though "under glass"

~    Post caesarean twice at last, as midwife they harass

	Two VBACs makes THREE kids, this time we had her at home, under
	my direction, the birth was pleasant for my (ex)wife and 
	in the state of Virginia, quite illegal, but never questioned by
	the authorities; Although, a private lab REFUSED to run the rh factor
	blood test on the infant's blood (from the cord) 
	(required of them by law), after finding out my religious affiliation.
	This, of course, was directed at me, but jeopardizing the infant 
	unnecessarily - but I did take THREE samples, which were confirmed
	negative by a midwife freind, and the other by the State of Virginia,
	who paid for the blood test under a psuedonym to a different lab.

	true, the accent makes the difficult rhyme, but the whole ordeal
	(after the birth) was also, quite difficult.

~    Inspected placenta, drew blood from mast, and gently spanked her tender ass

	Yes, an attempt at humor, but I wanted everyone to enjoy
	child birth. Besides, don't we all learn from humor better than
	any other media?

	Some have said that mast is not appropriate, since the third 
	child was female... ( Sorry to alarm those who thought the blood
	was drawn from unmentionable parts of the baby... )
	The blood is drawn from the cord, I used mast to symbolize the 
	extention of the center of "the keel", in this case the center 
	of gravity of the mother, the center of creation.
	(obviously obscure..)

~    
~    Lovers come and lovers go, but none as sad as they
~    Who loved him more even though he turned and walked away
~    He thinks they will come to know him better than they may
~    If he were to seldom show than if he were to stay

	Not necessarily a "lover" lover, but just loved ones. 
	they is two fold: "They" represent children as the product
	of a divorce, and "They" also represent past lovers with whom
	the relationship didn't work, but we are still very, very
	good freinds (in fact best friends, like Jen).

	It also helps if one changes the way he reads the second half
	of the stanza, give it a "nursery rhyme" sound.

~
~    His beliefs are not of any norm, they have many in retort

	Most of my knowledge comes from an unstructured learning 
	environment, and thus I draw my conclusions based on my
	own personal criterion, not of a formal structured one.
	This leads to difference of opionion the majority of the time.

~    They want him to take his form and set his sail from their port

	his form
		This is a reference to my ideals, also presets the
		format of the poem itself, I am stating that that
		you don't have to like it, but you do have to recognize
		me for who I am, just because its different doesn't mean
		its wrong, and just because you shut me out, doesn't mean
		I'll go away.

		also references format of thought organization, I prefer
		the unordered context switch to recall thoughts, rather
		than the ordered reasoning behind structured thought.

		yes, perhaps this is not what i really wish to tell a
		conservative person, but up till now, this has been true.
		I don't promise to change my thought patterns, only to 
		recognize, understand, and appreciate the ordered thought
		pattern. It is respect for another's opinion that I am
		talking of, not necessarily what I get in return.

~    A mind that thinks like a storm, straining as if to sort

	Stormy thinking is also two fold:
		a: internal conflict with my own preconceptions to other
		   ideas, and the attempt to understand and test it for
		   validity in my own world and against my own idea.

		b: vagueness. Ships get lost at sea during storms, 
		   sometimes I feel adrift, subject to my environment.
		   Sometimes it is hard to form an opinion based on
		   the given.

	Straining does not mean I have difficulty thinking (as more than
	one commented), simply a play on sorting. more like a harsh
	sifting, but retainment of what is crude in the sorter.

~    Out falacy, fact and then reform his thought patterns on report

	The sorter has presented me with all sides of the sphere,
	it is up to me to either stick to my guns, consider the 
	opposition and perhaps revise my thoughts, or adopt the
	better idea altogether.

~    
~	     
~Follow me on a journey that has never to end, our quest is knowledge and change
~	Robert K. Thralls  (AKA: Arnica Montana)

	signed in this manner, mainly due to my portfolio will be evaluated;
	all of which are signed Arnica Montana.

Original results:
	2- very nice
	2- don't get it
	1- "Gee bob, you didn't tell me you were a flaming homosexual from
	    Paraguay"
	3- are you out of your mind? just write an essay.
	3- too damn obscure

Updated results:

Since the reviews have ceased to trickle in... 
The reviews so far:
	5- very nice
	2- don't get it
	2- "Gee bob, you didn't tell me you were a flaming homosexual from
	    Paraguay"
	5- are you out of your mind? just write an essay. (no real comment on
		poem itself)
	6- too damn obscure (and those who used the word "detest" )

Gee, I don't usually get this kind of response for a *good* poem.... 
therefore I decided to submit it anyway. During the interview, the poem
was read by two people; one said absolutely nothing about the poem, just
remarked "We've never had anyone do THAT before...", just the fact that the
application was different was enough to satisfy  - Although, the blank
stare was worth a thousand questions (and would have drug out the already
lengthy process even more). Anyway, the grilling was on a slow rotor for 
about an hour and a half and got easier as time went on. It was, without 
a doubt, a success. I'm in and I don't see anyway for me to have failed
the process, unless, of course, I was to give them exactly what they wanted.

I would like to thank all who participated in this exercise, you've been 
a big help in helping me to understand just what people are looking for.

It seems odd that poets (even in this group) would rather conform to 
what is expected of them, than tell a story their own way. Even still,
a poem telling my story that is less obscure, would not have fit in
the space allotted for it, it also wouldn't be mine.


bob.