From: dshire@ucrengr.ucr.edu (Darth S. Hire)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Something about "best pick-up lines"
Date: 6 Jan 93 07:25:07 GMT
Organization: Waiting List, Brain Transplant Recipient

hey folks. earlier this summer, i compiled a list of pick up lines by taking
a survey on IRC (secret shame... i IRC...). (for those of you who DO IRC, bots
can have a purpose sometimes :) ) anyways, with the help of some
friends, the pick up lines now have put down lines :) so read and learn 
and good luck :)

david
sQyrm on IRC

special thanks to Sahara and THRUD
couldn't have done this without ya!

------

hi  [<--pretty popular line. 3 entries!]
   "do I look it?"

if i could change the alphabet, i'd put u and i together
      "I wouldnt so bug off..."
 
don't just sit there, do something
      "I was doing something and youre not a part of it  so get lost"
 
please fall in love with me.
      "please  get a real life"

those are really great jeans!!! they would look even better balled
        up on my floor.
      "too bad you wont  find out"

baby, do u know cpr? cuz your beauty has done stopped my heart!!!!!
      "and my fist  will stop your mouth"
 
i'm a gentleman, first last and always.
      "good! then be  polite  and get away from me"

i have a lot of money
      "then go buy yourself a gun and put  yourself out  of our misery"
 
said to me by total geek: "hey baby, i see the way you move, the way you
        glide, and all i can think of is you sliding across the leather
        of my porsche...
      "and I can seeyou sliding across the floor when my boyfriend gets back"
 
help    [what a line! so desperate...]
      "call 911"
 
hi! i'm irish. do you have any irish in you? would you like some?
      "sorry but I am German, I go for long sausages"
 
your father must have been a thief.... because he stole the stars
        and put them in your eyes.
      "your father must have been a nutcase to teach you lines like that!"
 
can i buy you a drink or would you just like the money?
      "I'll take the money so I can buy you a bus ticket back to where you came 
from""

mhm     [go figure...]
      "get your  dick out of your  mouth and speak clearly"
 
have you flossed today?
      "huh?" 

are you busy?
      "too busy for you"

well, how long have you had this problem
      "not very, just started when you walked up"
 
so, um, is your husband married?
      "thats redundant"
 
so is that your boyfriend? well how long have you had this problem?
      "yes, and for as long as you've been standing here"
 
can i get some?
      "some what?"
 
are u married?
      "not to you and I'd like it to stay that way"
 
hello!  [2 entries]
      "good bye!"
 
what's your sign?
      "CAUTION!"       or....
      "STOP!"
      "Dangerous  Curves AHead"
      "Slippery When Wet"
      "Yield"
      "Exit Only"   [for the heteros]
      "No Entrance"
 
what are u doing with these lines anyway  [i don't think this
        will work too well...]
      "what lines?"

gee, i've been so tired since i won the state lottery
      "then go buy yourself a new Playbo and leave me alone"
 
pick up line    [ah so witty]
      "put down response"
 
hi, you don't look cheap!
      *slap*
 
now see...  told you i could make you forget that you ever knew me
      "and I wish it'd stay that way"
 
the doctor says it will go away in a week.
      "what? you?  I hope so"
 
anonymous       [don't think this one will work too well either...]
      "and stay that way"
 
if i told you that you had a nice body, would yo hold it against me?
      "no but I'd use it to kick your ass"  [no shit, an actual  response]
 
baby, as long as i have got a face, you have a place to sit
      "then I guess I should rip it off for you"
 
square inch     [yeah. this one'll get 'em]
      "what? your IQ?"
 
gee, thats a nice shirt.  it sure would look great on my floor!
      "so would your dead body"
 
wanna sit on my magic lap?
      "no, so why dont you hop on you hop  on the Magic Bus and leave"

hi..whats your major?
      "electroencephalographology, if you can spell it, I'll  go home with you"
 
hey bitch get your hat and coat, were leaving (it worked.. once)
      "yeah,  me one direction, and you the other"
 
hey baby, i gots me a giant cheese wheel back at the apartment i
        wouldnt mind sharing with a lovely woman like you.
      "what are you? a giant rat?"
      
would you rub some of this ointment on my rash?
      "maybe if I rub it all over you, you'll go away"
 
im tired of passion...all i want is someone to play pictionary with.
      "damn, and I was so hoping for some passion tonight"
 
show me the movie of who you are and where you're from.
      "okay, it's called The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"
 
yes, you will know your ways as if bornto them...
      "excuse me?"
 
tell me of your homeworld, usul.
      "Usul?"
 
and you shall be known in our tribe as usul: that which is the
        strength at the base of the pillar.
      "and you shall be known as Geek; that which is the bother at the base of 
my problem"
 
i saw a snail crawling across the edge of a straight razor. thas my
        dream.  thats my nightmare.
       "I saw a guy walk up to me in a bar; that was my dream, that was my 
nightmare"
 
strap down. get ready. be refreshed.
       "button up, get out, be forewarned"
 
stick your hand in my pocket and count how much change i've got.
        closest to the actual amount wins a drink.
       "hmmm, you dont have enuff to buy a drink"
 
are you a registeredand certified podiatrist?
       "waht's a podiatrist?"
 
hi! do you breathe air like i do? what a coincidence! we are destined
        for each other!
       "get lost creep"
 
are you male or female? [pretty sad if you can't tell...]
       "cant you tell?"
 
whats a nice girl like you doing in a joint like this?
       "looking for a nice guy to go home with, ya seen one?"
 
what's a joint like this doing in a nice girl like you?"
        >> I added this one

hey babe wanna check out my ram?
       "no thanks, I'm not into bestiality"
 
i only have 2 hours to live..
       "then spend it wisely, get lost before I make it one hour"
 
hey
       "is for horses sometimes for cows, pigs dont eat it cause they dont know 
how"
 
if i had a swing like that, i'd ride it every day!
       "if I had a mouth like that, I'd tape it shut"
 
duh. *drool*
       "ignorance breeds morons"
 
lake    [i guess if it works, use it...]
       "Baltimore, my turn?"
 
what is it
       "a moron with a stupid expression on his face"
 
curious
       "stay that way"
 
did it hurt?    (did what hurt?)  did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
       "no, but now that you are here it hurts again"
 
should i recognize you from somewhere?
       "the most wanted poster in the post office?"
 
hey, i wish i knew some
       "some what?"
 
like death metal?
       "no, only country"
 
so...got any gum?
       "yeah, ABC"
 
hey babeee!
       "hey dickless!"
 
gee..you sure don't sweat much for a fat bitch!
       *slap*
 
damn baby! you look like campbell soup. mmmm, mmmm, good!
       "and you look like a sponge, soaks up everything dirty"
 
if you were a fruit, you'd be an orange because then you would be my
        main sqeeze.
       "no juice from this orange"
 
if you were a fruit ,you'd be a bannana because you have a peal.
       "if you were a fruit, you'd be from San Francisco"
 
you know, i started irc. :i. and i have an enormous penis so......
        you do the math
       "IRC + enormous penis = LOSER!!!!"
 
hey baby, wanna blow me?
       "hey jerk, wanna get lost?"
 
hey if you've lost your virginity can i have the box itcame in?
       "this box comes gift wrapped - do not open til Xmnas"
 
so, do you have single or multiple orgasms?
       "do you have a single or multiple celluar brain?"
 
hi you big sexy dildo head!
       "hi you dumb ignorant dead fuck"
 
the kapital k is the best at one lines. i get all the pussy.
        kwg3@isis.msstate.edu
       - cats dont count   >> Ron Gillespie
 
you look so good i'd do it to you in al of your holes!
        "well if you looked so good, I'd let you"

those must be the biggest set of knockers i have ever seen!
        "you must be the biggest asshole I've ever seen"
 
can i sqyrt in your eye?
        "can I shit down your throat?"
 
you ever play hide the cucumber?
        "no, but I've played doctor then sued for malpractice"
 
do you fuck?
        "only when the mood strikes me and right now it's not"
 
hi there, do you come here often? do you suck dick?
        "yes and no"
 
*go p to the ugliest women in the place* hi. i know you're not gonna
        get anything tonight. you know you're not gonna get anything
        tonight. let's go out to my car and go somewhere and fuck
         - I aint even touching this one... >> Ron G
 
hi, i am a really deepand emotional, caring, sensitive guy. wanna fuck?
       "you are also paradoxic"
 
let's fuck
       "lets not"
 
lick the shit from my ass
       "get your head out of the way"
 
do you believe in fucking after death?
       "no, I'm not into Necrophilia"
 
i'll be honest. all i wanna do is take you home and fuck you until my
        dick gts sore!
       "I'll be honest too then, no" 

have you ever fucked for five hours straight?
       "yeah, dont you wish you could?"

lets go screw
       "let's not and say we did"
 
fuck me now!
       "fuck yourself"


some more lines:
    "your legs must be tired cause you been running through my mind all day"
    "fuck me if I'm wrong but you'd really like to kiss me now"
    "pardon me, I'm new in town, can you show me the way to... your house?"
    "so how have you been besides beautiful?"

that's all folks!




-- 
d a v i d s h i r e d a v i d s h i r e d a v i d s h i r e d a v i d s
a Another fine posting by me!		a "body of a feeb, mind of an h
v dshire@cs.ucr.edu      		v infant so don't you call me i 
i And there was much rejoicing...	i an idiot"                   r
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat,soc.singles