HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: What's a SPOILER?
Date: 7 Jan 1993 20:45:32 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: stein.u.washington.edu

lbowden@cisco.com (Larry Bowden) writes:

>What does SPOILER mean?

from the FAQ list:

2.2)   Posting Etiquette.
2.2.2)   Spoiler Warnings   (by John Light)

This newsgroup includes a wide range of individual experience, ranging from
people who are just realizing that they may have been abused to people who have
made significant steps toward recovery.  People traumatized by abuse often feel
unable to deal with graphic material related to abuse, yet some people want to
share graphic material that relates to their own abuse and recovery.

Our challenge is to meet the needs of the entire range of sensibilities.  This
must be done in a way that requires no additional administration and doesn't
impose censorship.

Following the lead of other newsgroups, readers of ASAR use "spoiler" warnings.
The use of the word is that if you aren't in a safe personal space when you
read the material, it may spoil your whole day.

Each submitter will decide for himself whether the material may cause distress
for some readers.

The string "<spoiler>" should be included in the Subject line.  If you don't
realize you want to post something graphic until you're typing it in, don't
sweat it.  Just put the "spoiler" string on a line by itself, set off in some
visually striking way so as to warn people.  for example:

			  ***** SPOILER WARNING *****

Even if you do have a spoiler warning in your subject line, it is still a good
idea to have one of these lines anyway.

The first lines of text in the message should identify the sender and the
nature of the material.

Just ahead of the graphic material, there should be a few blank lines and a ^L
(control-L) character, which will terminate the page in many news programs.

The graphic material will follow the ^L.  It should meet the same criteria as
other submissions to ASAR., i.e., it should not be abusive to its readers in
general or any individual, it should be be related to abuse recovery, etc.

If followups are innocuous or of general interest, the "<spoiler>" string
should be removed from the Subject line in followups.  This reduces the volume
of "<spoiler>" warnings so we don't become desensitized to them.

In practice, most people will read the spoiler material.  For them, it still
provides an opportunity to prepare emotionally for the material.
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu (Nancy Lebovitz)
Subject: Re: ***SPOILERS***
Organization: UDel, School of Life & Health Sciences
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 15:42:33 GMT

In article <C09Hw8.CpG@acsu.buffalo.edu> rmr@acsu.buffalo.edu (Richard M. Romanowski) writes:
>Dear Anika:
>
>	The following reacts to your poetry.
>
>	Rape involves a Rapist and a Survivor.
>
>	All Rapists are WEAK.
>
>	ALL Survivors are STRONG.  (Thus the name, 'survivor.')
>
>	Survivors are heroic figures, dealing with incredible odds,
>holding together lives of more stress than untested people could ever take,
>working positively to LIVE.
>
>	Rapists are weak, degenerates eddies, mere footnotes to humanity,
>sinking into the mire of their own dissipation, who will all vanish
>without a trace individually.  Collectively, all rapists will be
>vanquished in the end because they are spiritually WEAK. 
>
This sounds good, but I'm not sure that it makes sense, since some 
survivors are also rapists. (I said _some_.) Can a person be both
heroic, etc. _and_ a mere footnote to humanity.

Here's an alternate point of view. 

All people are valuable. Those who refuse to acknowledge that all people
are valuable to the point of causing damage should be stopped, but, as
far as possible, not stomped flat. 

>	Now, Anika, that poetry was strong stuff, in the way that chilled
>Absolut is strong stuff.  It rattled my teeth.  You're obviously functioning
>at high voltage just to be able to write it.  Remember, we survivors have 
>the easy part -- we need merely live, which is natural, and our victory is
>inevitable.  But living naturally, with honor, without rape, is hard, because
>we have been raised in a sick society.  Fear not.  'Stand, gentlemen, or I'll
>make a ghost of him that lets me!'

I actually get a kick out of your "Strength is great!" stuff, but I think
you oversimplify a lot. On the other hand, I don't know if it's possible
to get the exhileration without simplifying. 

Nancy Lebovitz


Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: an1307@anon.penet.fi (tumbleweed)
Subject: poohbear sighs
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 19:21:09 GMT

poohbear, it's peculiar that your "sighs" look 
like they've gone begging.  They haven't.
Yes, conflict is hateful.  Sorry you ran into it.  
Yelling, too.  Painful.  We know this we know this.
Be brave.  Your ballast isn't gone.  Part of it is 
here and we wish you well.

tumbleweed
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
Due to the double-blind system, any replies to this message will be anonymized,
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From: v039eag3@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Amy R Phillips)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: does anyone out there know about hypno-therapy?
Date: 7 Jan 93 22:32:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


    I have been seeing a doctor for a while and now she wants to send 
    me to someone else for a try at hypnosis.  One of my biggest problems
    in therapy has been my lack of remembering something "concrete".

    I would greatly appreciate any information any of you had about this.
    For some reason, the whole iudea seems to terrify me.

    thanks in advance for any e-mail help

    courage to all....
    amy
From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'Krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Things I didn't want tobe confirmed by my psych  **SPOILER**
Date: 8 Jan 93 16:56:06 CST
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

Hello...  First I need to put a


***Mild Spoiler Warning***


for this message contains some stuff that is rather sensitive to me, although
there isn't anything in the message that should set anyone else off...

I had appointments with both my Psychaytrist and Psychologist today.  I'm now
on new meds, Serentil (10mg a day to see how things go for the first couple of
weeks) and I had some stuff confirmed that I was rather hoping wouldn't be.

In talking with the Psychologist, I mentioned the MPD stuff.  Different
personallities in my head, with different identities, but they all share the
same basic infomation, and there is still quite a bit of consistancy and
congruity (sp?) between them.  Only when 630 is present is my train of memory
interrupted.

While I'm not a multiple (I still think as if there is only 1 person in my
head, albeit someone with some radical extremes) it looks like I'm on the verge
of making that final crack into several people.

And then on the way home from the shrink's, I had a new memory come to me.  It
was (coincidentally ???) shortly before the time I was raped by my supervisor.
I remember thinking about the different aspects to me, and I realized in the 3
or 4 years since then just how much farther my personallities have shifted away
from each other, and how much less communication between them there is.  Before
I was one person who knew how to release and have fun at times.  Now I'm a
person who releases and someone else takes over.  At least I still remember
everything that happens at all times.  (Except for 6-3-0)  Ahh well, she
agreed/confirmed that it sounded like I was getting ready to split.

I wonder if I'll hold together as one person or not.  Even some of my closer
friends are telling me it's as if there were 2 people in my head...

Ahh well, I gotta be running along, but I wanted to get this in before I did
anything else.  So I'm now running even later than I was.  I'll live.  :)

<><><><>
Krikket                      ---  krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us
#include<std.disclaimers>    ---  an294@anon.penet.fi
anon-1214@twwells.com        ---  anon.77@pax.tpa.com.au

 "And the Germans killed the Jews.  And the Jews killed the Arabs.
  And the Arabs killed the hostages.  And that is the news."
From: aaron@funcity.njit.edu (Aaron Watters)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Enough on Satanic Abuse!
Date: 11 Jan 93 13:43:43 GMT
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology

In article <1993Jan10.230632.46282@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu> sbecker@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu writes:
>Okay.  Enough nit-picking about whether 50, 000 or 2,000,000 kids/adults are
>murdered in ritual abuse each year.  Why quibble over statistics?  Even a few
>hundred is a staggering nu,mber, isn't it?  And this sort of debate might be
>more production on ASAR.D, as Cloister Bell has pointed out.
>Sarah

Even a hint of physical evidence of one such murder would be impressive,
but there is no such thing.  Apparently satanists are so sophisticated
that they can erase all evidence of multiple murders more effectively than
any organized crime organizations has ever been able to do.

The entire satanist ritual theory rests on accusations
many of which are derived from ``repressed memories''
brought to the surface with the help of therapies of various kinds
-- when there is serious doubt concerning the existence or
validity or accuracy of repressed memories among serious
psychologists.  I think most researchers would agree that repression
of a SINGLE event may be possible, but there is no serious evidence
that the memory can repress repeated events -- such as a black
mass every Saturday night.  Potential therapy victims should be
aware of this.		-a.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: aatresa@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline)
Subject: Re:Abuse Effects in Other Societies
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Yeah, *right* !
Date:  4 Jan 1993 09:14 EST  

In article <C054yH.HMB@twwells.com>, anon-1421@twwells.com (Seeker) writes...
>Does anyone have more first hand experience? Any members of 
>non-USA/European influenced cultures listening on the net?(!) I would
>love to tell my SO he is wrong on this :-) . 

I grew up overseas, in both European and Asian countries.  
Sex with a child is damaging, no matter what.  The child is not prepared 
for the emotions that are an integral part of sex.  And, if the sex 
involves penetration, a child's body just isn't made to take an adult's.  
It's a fact of plain, physical size.

-- Teresa

		Life -- just for the FUN of it!!!!
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: stote@tomcat.den.mmc.com (M. Stote)
Subject: Re: of Canada and Catholics
Organization: Martin Marietta Astronautics Group
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 16:33:35 GMT

Rick Romanowski (I've probably misspelled it - my apologies ) writes: 

> * I know I'm a twisted sicko, but are my arguments (right or valid)?

The question is usually are my assumtions right :) 

Whether right or wrong it was good reading


--
Fare well
Mike Stoughton
stote@den.mmc.com
From: whitehea@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu (Lady in Red)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Ritual Abuse Discussions
Date: 11 Jan 93 09:47:17 CST
Organization: Alfaro Vive, Carajo!

Would you please take the Satanic abuse discussion to
alt.sexaul.abuse.recovery.d?  Proving or disproving claims of ritual
abuse are not appropriate to a support group forum.

It should not be a requirement that people prove the source of their
injury before they request help in healing their wounds.  I hope.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: warton@ssd.intel.com (Peter Warton)
Subject: Re: in which poohbear returns to friends
Organization: Supercomputer Systems Division (SSD), Intel
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 22:23:26 GMT


In which Peter welcomes poohbear's return to asar.  I missed you, glad
to see you back.

Peace,
Peter
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Warton (The h was dropped     | Against my better judgement (not to
over 800 years ago)		    | mention the advice of my friends) I
warton@ssd.intel.com		    | speak for myself.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: fkittred@endor.uucp (Fletcher Kittredge)
Subject: Re: Thanks for nothing..bleah (a response)
Organization: Aiken Computation Lab, Harvard University
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 13:43:52 GMT

In article <C0pswB.50x@twwells.com> anon-1541@twwells.com (nonperson) writes:
>To Silver Tiger about lost mail: I agree with David Nelson;
>there are many ways messages can go astray when traveling
>through so many ports.  I have lost some myself, and was
>only able to repost because I kept a copy of what was sent.
>Keeping a copy until a post appears seems to be necessary.
>
>As regards Wells, he's been thoroughly professional
>in my few dealings with him, especially as regards 
>confidentiality.  In addition, at a time of crisis
>he was prompt in providing needed advice.
>

Hey Bill, I hate to be cynical (right), but why should I think that this
testimonial to your honesty is not written by yourself?  It is anonymous,
unsigned and posted through your service.  Since you have masqueraded
behind a couple of anonymous personalities in the past, how do we know
this isn't another?

regards,
fletcher
From: agape@igc.apc.org (Jean Riseman)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: What's a SPOILER?
Date: 10 Jan 93 01:50:00 GMT
Nf-ID: #R:1ig4gmINNjse@roche.csl.sri.com:-1740406144:cdp:1519600012:000:139
Nf-From: cdp.UUCP!agape    Jan  9 17:50:00 1993


Dear LArry
 A SPOILER is something that could spoil your whole day. It
means read with care. Now what's the opposite of a spoiler?
Jeannie
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: cgates@mitre.org (Curt Gates)
Subject: Re: Religion and a Denial System
Organization: The MITRE Corporation
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 17:19:17 GMT

In article <1iftlfINNfgt@flash.pax.tpa.com.au> anon.95@pax.tpa.com.au 
writes:
> I've been feeling quite upset over having no ( <=2 ) real friends within
> my faith.

I hear ya. For the congregation, if it fits, you might figure out in your 
own mind whether it centers on love and acceptance, or on proper behavior 
and judgment, or something else.  You can find a lot of organizations that 
focus on telling you how to behave and how to be critical of yourself -- 
but you dont find many that teach you how to love yourself, and be 
accepting and forgiving your own shortcomings.  (Like going back to the 
basic teachings of the faith.)  Somehow,  allowing love for yourself gets 
equated with greed and selfishness instead of being a step toward giving 
and receiving love from others. Phew. What I am saying is we need  less 
judgment -- and a whole lot more love. Right?  
>Why isn't there anyone I feel I can share with?
>I'm trying to be healthy.
Trying to find someone who can share heavy issues on a fairly frequent 
basis might be asking a lot.  What you need from others may be more than 
most people can supply as friends.  Most people seem to find it really 
hard to talk about painful issues with others. Maybe they are afraid they 
will say the wrong thing and the person will get upset and break down. 
Unless they themselves have been through the experience, they may feel 
unqualified to discuss it.  Or that they have to offer advice rather than 
listen.  So we defend ourselves by going along at a shallow level in 
public, most of the time, thank you.  And for our health problems at a 
deeper level -- some consult with a health professional, if possible -- 
and use friends more for sharing the good times. 

I remind myself of a story now and then.  I dont know whether it is true 
or not, but there is supposed to be a big difference between how people 
and rats behave in a maze.  If they take away the cheese, the rat will 
look somewhere else.  The human, however, keeps going back to the site of 
the original reward and beats on the wall of the maze.  How many times do  
I have to look at my bloody hands before I realize I am beating on the 
wall....
From: starbran@stein.u.washington.edu (Harvin Queen)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: GOOD NEWS
Summary: Read it
Keywords: GOOD
Date: 5 Jan 93 19:54:22 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: stein.u.washington.edu


    HI THERE!!  I dont know how many of you guys remember me, but my name
is Emilio and I was the one who about a month ago wrote about my girlfriend
being a survivor and that times were difficult for us.  Well, I would like
to share what is currently going on.....

	*ANTI-SPOILER!!!*

    Well, here is what happened:

1)  We spent all of Christmas and New Years together
2)  I went with her to her Dad's home and we stayed there a day and the 
family loved me

3)  We spent two days over at MY dad's place and my family loved her

4)  We had 2 really big fights during Christmas vacation (away from family)
but we brought up a lot of issues and had a talk that cleared the air like
a hurricane

5)  Finally we decided that we wanted to live together and I am officially
moving in by this weekend.  By officially, im not talking about any
wedding rings YET, I just mean that I will be paying rent and have my name
on a lease as well

6)  We are reconciling our finances.  She managed (during her depression/
anger) to run up a huge amount of debt (only a few hundred dollars but Im
a college student so its a lot to us).  Anyway, we have managed to work out
a financial plan that not only will pay for rent/phone/food but will also 
allow us to start paying off this debt and get some of these collectors off
our backs.

So WHY AM I TELLING YOU GUYS THIS????  Because when I called here, I was at
the end of the rope and didnt even know if our relationship would survive.
Of course there is still no guarantee that we will make it, but I can
honestly say we wouldnt have even made it this far if not for the advice
I received from this newsgroup./

This really means a lot to me and again thank you guys (ESPECIALLY, SPECIAL
thanx to Cloister, and Ceind5).  By the way, when I mentioned that we had
worked out our Finanial responsibilites, that INCLUDES COUNSELING which we
havent started yet but plan on.  

We both admit our relationship has never been better, but we also admit that
there are issues for both of us that need to be resolved and so we plan to 
start counseling whenever we can. However, my SO has told me that she has
never been so happy in her life and that I am the first person in this life
other than her mother (who has been with her for years) that she trusts and
that she already feels better physically/emotionally/and even spiritually.

Of course, all is not paradise (we are humans, with varying opinions/values)
but again I would like to thank this newsgroup for giving me my life.

I will continue to watch you guys....Im just telling you this about us 
because I want you to know that there are real people at these keyboards
here and that what is said here DOES matter (as if you didnt know).

Later all

- Emilio
From: anon-1559@twwells.com (Drusilla)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Test
Date: 12 Jan 93 22:21:36 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com


ANON-Name: Drusilla

This is just a test.  Sorry for the interruption.



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: wwonko@eskimo.com (Louis Erickson)
Subject: Tired
Organization: -> ESKIMO NORTH (206) For-Ever <-
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 04:11:00 GMT


Hello.  It's me, Tyger, still borrowing freind's account.
I DO get so very tired of the way people respond to survivors, and all
the stupid responses, considering how prevalent sexual abuse of children
is in the world.  It's even worse when you consider the fact that the
statistics we have, as high as they are, may not be accurate due to the
fact that it is very hard to accurately count something that the person
may NOT REMEMBER or be ready (yet) to acknowledge happened to them.
   I look forward to the day that I feel okay enough to look a person
who hads invalidated my experience straight in the eye and say.  "I am
sorry you do not want to believe me or other people who need to talk
about their abuse, but I don't let people make me feel invalidated
anymore.  I know what I experienced, and I believe my freinds.  Your
denial is not going to change or help anyone, and may possibly hurt
people.  I suppose that if you are tired of hearing about people's child
abuse experiences, that you should getr of your butt and help figure out
why it happens and how to prevent it.  Telling survivors to shut up
isn't going to fly.  I'm tired of being told to be quiet and get on with
my life.  I will, in time, WHEN I have healed."
   I suppose that wouldn't really be very effective, because it would
just come out as a tirade, and people tend to shut off their ears when
you tirade at them.  A short version, perhaps should be: "If you are
tired of listening to sexual abuse survivors talk about their
experience, do your part in figuring out why it happens so much, and how
to stop it.  In the mean time, tough luck, bud!"
  I also hate it when people infer that the survivor is talking about
their abuse only as a means of getting public attention.  What a way to
get attention.  Like people don't have anything better to do with
themselves.  Also the question:  Why does this person feel so bad about
themself that they have to make up something to gain attention?  What
happened to them to make them that way?
   I've really rambled.  I guess I am angry.  Anyhow, take care out
there!
   Tyger
From: kadie@cs.uiuc.edu (Carl M. Kadie)
Subject: Re: "Satanic Ritual Abuse" in the media
Organization: University of Illinois, Dept. of Comp. Sci., Urbana, IL
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 21:41:40 GMT


dnelson@icaen.uiowa.edu (David Nelson) argues for the reality of
*ritual* abuse. I believe debate of the evidence for and against
ritual abuse is inappropriate to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery. If you are
interested in this topic, please see sci.skeptic.

- Carl
-- 
Carl Kadie -- I do not represent any organization; this is just me.
 = kadie@cs.uiuc.edu =
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery