From: garys@cs.tamu.edu (Gary Wayne 'Goober' Smith)
Subject: Re: Ag Jokes (was Re: The Deserving Heisman?)
Organization: Computer Science Department, Texas A&M University
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 05:42:50 GMT

In article <9926@sun13.scri.fsu.edu> poore@ds9.scri.fsu.edu (David Poore) writes:
>Hey, now! This looks like an acceptable (Hoosiers are Gods!) topic for
>discussion (ND can't hold Hoosier's jocks). How about it Steve (I love
>Indiana) Crepps?? Is this authorized? Can we tell Aggie jokes?? I bet
>Goober's got a zillion of 'em. Here, I'll start:
>
>Didja hear about the Aggie who said he'd give his right arm to be
>ambidextrous?

We'll I've been kinda busy with other things lately, so I'm just now getting
around to replying.  Here's two rather long ones...both fairly old and
both taken off of the net, so they have been posted before, the second
one by the author of a well-known and very-often-on-r.s.f.c-quoted theorem 
(the author happens to be a closet Aggie, btw.)

____________________________

After eight years in college, there is one Aggie student who still 
can't seem to get himself graduated.  He got in five years on a 
football scholarship, and everyone likes him, but he just can't seem 
to make it through his classes.    

The professors and the board of regents at the school are beginning to 
be anxious about the possible damage to the school's reputation, and 
decide that graduate or not, Jethro has got to go.  They are worried 
that the general public is going to hear that this student hasn't
graduated after eight years.  After conferring with each other, they 
give him the news:  "Jethro, we've decided that this is going to be 
your last semester at A&M.  So we're going to give you a test at 
graduation time.  We're going to ask you just one question, and if you 
answer it correctly, you graduate.  If you answer it incorrectly, you 
don't graduate.  But either way, this is your last semester and it's
time to leave the school."  

So graduation rolls around, and Jethro is the very last person to step
up, because he still has to take the test.  Everyone at school knows
about it and each person in the audience holds his breath as the
university president asks Jethro the Test Question.  "Jethro, what's 
four plus three?"  Jethro thinks hard for a moment, and then hesitantly 
answers, "Seven?"  There is a brief moment of silence, and then another 
Aggie calls out from the audience:

"Aw, gee, give him another chance!"     

____________________________

Seems there was this guy who wanted to go to A&M, but his I.Q. was too
high.  It was a 70, and the cutoff for A&M was 40.  

So he went to his doctor and said "Doc, you gotta help me, all my life I've
wanted to go to A&M and now I can't."  The doc looks at him and says,
"Hmmm, well, I've got this new experimental procedure that might lower your
I.Q., but I have to warn you, I've never tried it before."  "Doc," the guy
says, "I'm desperate and willing to try anything."

The doctor straps him into a chair and lowers onto his head a helmet
connected by various wires to a machine.  He sets the dial at 70 and turns
it on.  The instrument panel lights up and the dial moves slowly downward:
70 .  . . 60 . . . 50.  It gets to 40 and the doctor tries to shut it off,
but the lever's stuck.  40 . . . 30 . . . 20.  The frantic doctor finally
picks up and chair and hurls it at the machine.  It pops and fizzes and
dies, with the dial sitting on 12.

The frazzled doctor takes the helmet off his patient.  "Oh, my God, I'm so
sorry, I couldn't shut the machine off and now your I.Q.'s too low even for
A&M.  What are you going to do?"

The guy looks up at him, smiles, and says "Hook `em horns!"


- goober (once a goober, always a goober) smith

ps: if you are an off-campus aggie, please send me mail at garys@cs.tamu.edu

Newsgroups: rec.sport.football.college