HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Subject: Re: toast
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 21:30:04 GMT

In article <6067@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>Currants.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>Currency.
)>>>>>>>>>>>Crabalocker Fishwife.
)>>>>>>>>>>Coxswain.
)>>>>>>>>>Cousin, Cousine.
)>>>>>>>>Circadian Rythym
)>>>>>>>Camelopardis.
)>>>>>>Cadaverine.
)>>>>>Cahiers du Cinema.
)>>>>Cacoethes Scribendi.
)>>>Criminal Insanity.
)>>Carasso.
)>Countach.
)Coup d'etat.
Corfu.

				--Blair
				  "And the horse you rode in on."
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Conversation topics to avoid
Date: 1 Sep 92 18:38:28 GMT
Organization: University of Central Florida

franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:

>I think Mark schnitzuis is a dumb name, and Mark is stoopid.
>What if everyone felt that way?
>Everyone DOES feel that way.
>Oh. okay.
>*shake hands and agree*

Looking around, it seems the only thing that people are shaking
hands and agreeing on is the idea to put you in their killfiles.
You are obviously under the delusion that you have friends here.
No one could POSSIBLY think that making fun of my name and calling
me "stoopid" could even be classified as a flame, much less
bizarre.  Hence, I am forced to conclude that get off on your role
as official spittoon of talk.bizarre, so I will leave it at that.

>Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.stupidity

Nice try, buttlicker.

mark
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: Eric C. Kofoid <kofoid@bioscience.utah.edu>
Subject: Re: HOOTERS (not hooters)
X-Xxmessage-Id: <A6C12411FE02C39C@ls-27.biology.utah.edu>
X-Xxdate: Wed, 26 Aug 92 19:05:37 GMT
Organization: Dept. Biology, University of Utah
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d7
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 92 18:02:45 GMT

In article <annie.02te@canetoad.UUCP> Annie, annie@canetoad.UUCP writes:

> < Platonic dialog re: mammary glands, variously referred to as >
> < "HOOTERS" and "hooters", skipped... >
>
>...uunet!canetoad!annie                         
canetoad!annie@uunet.uu.net

Bzzzt! Sorry, your time is up! The answer is "hOOters".

ooo Dr. Cancer ooo

  "Being certain of the conclusion assists in finding the proof"  
                                      Galileo, 17th century
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ajm@wag.caltech.edu (Abner J. Mintz)
Subject: Re: Anita Hill
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, CA
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 00:05:12 GMT

<Blair talks about Clarence Thomas.>
>				--Blair
>				  "Politics makes strange
>				   porn-theater fellows..."

Hmmm.  The next supreme court nominee is obvious: Peewee Herman.

Scene:
Scalia: "Justice Herman, your favoring of pornography is unseemly for this
         court; you are causing difficulties in our coordinated assault on
         the first amendment."
Peewee: "I know you are, but what am I?"  <cackle,cackle>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: middle@cse.uta.edu (William J Middleton)
Subject: Re: double plus unpleased
Followup-To: hershey.hiway
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, Univ. of Texas at Arlington
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 02:04:06 GMT



In article <-jgnj7-.chaos@netcom.com> chaos@netcom.com (chaos) writes:
>someone took the wrong brain out of the lab and consequently,
>bp271@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Matthew N. ("that's N for NOT") Sharp) wrote:
>>
>>It Pleases Me To Know
>>that the janitors where I work are retarded.
>
[...]
>
>Because they know more than you think.  They know a fucking
>sod-pecker like you when they see one.  
>
>And so do we.
>
>chaos
>
>as i'm sure my uncle would verify

there is no better source for insight
than they.  but i think the janitor(s)
probably would've looked past this
pond scum's piss poor attitude.


bILL
guess i didnt learn much either
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (BoBteCh)
Subject: observation, skewed
Organization: sulphur & oxygen
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 07:03:49 GMT


hate lives in talk.bizarre


maybe george bush had the right idea after all -
find the hate to harness, and you can move the world.

BoB
THINK
tecH
GODDAMMIT THINK FOR CHRISTS SAKE WILL YOU PEOPLE PLEASE THINK

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy)
Subject: Re: Illiterates:  (was: Re: GERMAN CLASS) (YUCK! YUCK!)
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 03:41:45 GMT
Organization: 'Ex-Biology Grad Student, Student of Life.

waldbyjf@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (The Sheik) writes:
>
>Fuckin' potatoe head, you pretentious peace of shit. The message is all  
>that matters as long as the spelling does not distract. I've heard enough  
>assholes talk about spelling, when everyone has their own word that they  
>can't spell.


HAW HAW HAW
I GET IT!@#

DAN QUAYLE CANT SPELL!!@!@@

I GET IT !!@!@@!

HAW HAW JUST LIKE POTATOE!@!# HAW! I GET IT.

YOU THE SHEIK ARE A FUCKING LOSER! DIE! DIE! DIE!
-- 
--
hugs, Rachel
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Once in sync, always in sync
Date: 25 Aug 92 17:56:48 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.  Mountain View, CA


vail@tegra.COM writes:
|jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
||As a safety prcaution, the glory days of talk.bizarre were
||carefully scheduled for sometime during the Late Jurassic, in
||order to ensure that no one with a working terminal would be
||able to mar them.
|No, in those days us trilobytes used to jump into tarpits, mud
|flats and tree sap, arranging our bodies into useful patterns.
|Then, later, cave newts got the volcano idea.

NO!  Don't trust him!

Learn to recognize trilobite agents. These typically have a head bit
that is called a cephalon, a middle segmented thorax bit, and a tail
bit that is called a pygidium. They are benthic and vagile, and 
probably occupy many roles in the food chain. INCLUDING DEVOURING
OUR CHILDREN THEY MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: Ender@csc.canberra.edu.au (Ender)
Subject: Re: Songs Hendrix never recorded
Organization: Under protest
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 92 05:36:50 GMT

In article <act.455.0@csc.canberra.edu.au> act@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops) writes:

>EE117@LIVERPOOL.AC.UK (a pom) writes:
>>>>>> >: "My wind cries Mary"
>>>>>> >"All Along The Shopping Mall"
>>>>>> "Voodoo Chili"
>>>>>"Hey Bartholomewe-Jamison"
>>>>Rutherford B. Haze
>>>>Hey Skip!
>>>Purple Face!
>>Burning of the Midnight Butt
>Nowhere over the Usenet
Outhouse
Ender.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: act@csc.canberra.edu.au (Cyclops)
Subject: GUN HO - Finish me off
Summary: Al Capone
Keywords: Hate to keep repeating myself
Organization: University of Canberra, Camaroon
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 92 03:35:22 GMT

 If you knew ouzi like I knew ouzi .......

act@csc.canberra.edu.au       Eye t'ought Eye taw a putty tat.
Look Once...         .-)      
   Look TwEyece..    .-) .-)       
      Half See...    .-)         
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Marc
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 22:13:55 GMT

While going through my album list just now, I realized that while I have three
albums by different people or groups names Marc, I have only two albums by one
person named Mark.

I might also add that in talk.bizarre, as some of you have no doubt noticed,
we have at least two Marks, a Mark., and a Mark-Jason.  Not a single Marc that
I've seen.

I think I'm onto something.

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"Been there, done that
 Been there, don't want to go back"  --Brian Eno & John Cale
Current Album--The Replacements:Tim
Current Read--Timothy Findley:Not Wanted On The Voyage
From: billbill@wetware.com (Bill Bill)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: sliding numbers
Date: 2 Sep 92 05:05:07 GMT
Followup-To: misc.test


my house is a sliding numbers puzzle.
to get into the kitchen, i have to shift
three boxes in the bathroom closet.
to finish reading a book, i must lift
seven bags, place them in the refrigerator,
and unfold a chair from under the mattress.

there's always an empty spot somewhere that i
can slide a foot or a number, so my location
can gradually change. i can't say the place is 
small, though, since any fractal region 
examined closely has an infinite boundary.

i want to live in a spherical house with
complete graph connections. to go from the
kitchen sink to the guitar, i hop on the
tram that runs straight (Euclidean/Newtonian)
between them. to go from the guitar to the
blue silk shirt in the closet, i hop on
the little tram specific to those two points.
a spider would get lost in my routes,
but *I* would be able to go my myriad ways.

bill                    bill         @          wetware.                    com
From: annie@canetoad.UUCP (Annie)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: A Disturbing Dream
Distribution: world
Date: 23 Aug 92 21:50:21 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love


I am touring the ruins of a house I once lived in as a child. Not ruins
so much as whole parts torn down for renovations. It's a very old house,
you understand, 150 years perhaps. I and a group of dream people are 
standing in the living room, which is still intact. We try to start a fire
in the old marble fireplace. Naturally, after so many years abandoned, the
chimney catches on fire.

In the process of putting out the fire, I ... time loop ... And I'm standing
in the front walk of a place where my parents lived when they were just
married. I can see them around the corner in the back yard--and they are
*young*. Young like I've only ever seen in dusty photo albums left to
mildew in the backs of closets. After all, I wasn't born until they were in
their mid-to-late thirties (nearly 30 years ago).

They don't see me at first; they are very taken with each other. They
are so--fresh, and new, and they are dancing around each other, laughing 
and teasing, so openly sexual. (They are to this day much as
I describe them here, only they are in their sixties and my father is 
crippled and in constant pain.)

So I watch, and I think to myself, "So this is the makings of a 35 year
marriage." I can well believe it.

The rest of the dream entails hanging out with them, and their eventual
discovery that I am their future child. They ask, "Is there just one 
thing you could tell us before you go?"

I can think of a million things! But my mother interrupts my thoughts. She
places a hand on my father's arm and, as if she knows already, she asks,
"The knee operation...?"

I look at my father, so tall and quick--he used to walk like me, which
is to say that he ran everywhere. His face is smooth and calm, with none
of the pain and indignation of his disability etched there yet.

How can I tell him that not one but two operations will be butcher jobs,
done before anyone has a clue about knee joints. That knee surgery doesn't
begin to approach being a science until the '80's, years too late.

I woke up just about then.
--
"They never go far," he said with a chuckle. "They never do what they
set out to do. Always pecking at new things are the *Bandar-log*."

...uunet!canetoad!annie                          canetoad!annie@uunet.uu.net

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Meeting Mr/Mrs. Right
From: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)
Organization: The Man With Ten Cats
Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1992 05:06:54 GMT
Reply-To: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)

In article <7377@skye.ed.ac.uk> ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson) writes:
>
>In article <lucy-270892102120@lucy.cstudies.sfu.ca> lucy@sfu.ca (Lucy
>Chan) writes:
>
>#  Ahem.  I just wanted to note that, as a direct result of an article I
>#  wrote in t.b last fall about the book "How to Make a Man Fall in Love
>#  with You", a man fell in love with me. 
>
>
>I read the same book, but so far I haven't been able to make any men
>fall in love with me. 
>
>-- Ken "perhaps I'm too picky" Johnson


No, it's not that.  They just all know you in Edinburgh.

Some night when you get out of work, smoke a couple of joints, throw on
that pink leather jumpsuit, and head for Glasgow.  Sheesh.

-- 

Rick Kelly	rmk@rmkhome.UUCP	unixland!rmkhome!rmk	rmk@frog.UUCP
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,ucla.rumor
Subject: Last saturday
Date: 3 Sep 92 20:38:49 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command


Around 3:30  
1) Margarita
around 4:00
2) Another margarita
around 5:00
3) Strawberry wine cooler

time not important after this  . . .
4) Mixed strawberry margarita

After this point, Marlo and I went out, as her dad said, "Trick or Treating"
for rum.  (We wanted strawberry daquerris)

5) Strawberry daquerri

6) Another strawberry daquerri

Marlo's friends come over and drive us to Maggies (restaurant/bar)

7) Lemon Drop

8) Black Russian

9) Watermelon

Return and crash on marlo's couch around 2 in  the morning

(multiple trips to the bathroom during the night).

What time did I wake up?  5:00 AM the same damn time I've been waking up
for the past 6 weeks to go to work.  No headache.  Hmmmmmmmm . .. .
Just very unmotivated to do anything on Sunday . . .
-- 
I love the 3b2
The 3b2 is my friend.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: al677@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jerry Cosyn)
Subject: Here's To Women
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio, (USA)
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 92 19:41:24 GMT


Here's to women: the flower divine
They bloom once a month and bear once in nine
And they're the only beings this side of hell
That get juice from a nut without crackin' the shell

Here's to women: they have God's blessing
For they can shit without undressing
But us men, poor sons o' bitches
Must undress or shit our britches
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The *REAL* reason Gooley moved to Colorado.
Date: 28 Aug 92 15:52:29 GMT
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

Here's a clue. Take two, they're small.
1. Trinidad
2. Stanley Biber

rp -- yeah, you might say it's an inside joke.
From: mha1@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL H. ALAIMO)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Rachel
Date: 1 Sep 92 18:14:53 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University


In article <5637@evil.demon.co.uk>, hitler@evil.demon.co.uk (hitler) writes:
>
>Rachel talks more shite than Winder.
Rachel talks more shiite than a muslim.
-- 


: MIKE ALAIMO        :    ************************
: Brain Surgeon      :    *       BUSH-FREE      *
: Rocket Scientist & :    *        IN '93        *
: General Neophyte   :    ************************
                        "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
From: andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: So, I was....
Date: 3 Sep 92 08:18:53 GMT
Organization: Spider Systems Limited, Edinburgh, UK.

So I was walking down the street last night, minding my own buisness (as you do
when your anti-social) and this little old lady just fell over in front of me.

What would you have done ? She hit the ground with a thump (I thought "I hope 
she did'nt damage the pavement" ...I mean I have to walk on that every night)

A couple of people rushed over to help her...They did'nt laugh (they've 
obviously could'nt understand the comic implications of a mildly overweight
geriatric laying on the pavement waving her arms and legs in the air in agony)

I noticed that some people were giving me dirty looks. Must have been the beans
last night. Hmmmm

Anyway, they picked her up and wiped off most of the blood. (I hope they know 
that you can't get blood out of a white handkerchief....I wonder if snot makes
an open wound go septic. Hmmm)

When they finally shoved her into the ambulance and out of my way, I checked the
pavement...It was ok, just a little stained with blood, but that will wash out
next time it rains.

Went home feeling happy.
-- 
|      Andy Cannon       |"Love is what seperates us from the animals"       |
| Misplaced Yorkshireman |                                                   |
|   Spider Systems Ltd   |"No, what seperates us from the animals is that we |
|  andrewc@spider.co.uk  |don't clean our own genitals with our tongue"      |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra)
Subject: Re: the trouble with australia
Organization: t.b
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 20:17:22 GMT

mrx@sgi.com (you: coma: marilyn monroe) writes:
> >mr x absolutely must correct this immediately.
>
> note:  it may be easier to simply remove
>        the continent.  we'll do some mock-ups,
>        generate some proposals, and get back
>        to you.

     Oh dear.  I do hope it doesn't come to that.

     Agreed, it would solve a lot of problems all at
once; but I would so miss watching the refs signal
goals in Australian Football, one of life's better
little pleasures.

--Starcap'n Ra,      {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
   "It's a gowel!"      {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: THE HARSHEST BRITISH SWEAR WORDS
Date: 25 Aug 92 11:33:21 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <h5=ns1p.rdc@netcom.com>, rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy) writes:
> 
> bird-brained
> bleeder
> blockhead
> butterfingers
> cad
> dopey
> duffer
> dullard
> fink
> ninny
> nitwit
> pansy
> pipsqueak
> scatterbrain
> sissy
> yahoo
> yes-man
> yokel
> irish
> 
> -- 
> --
> hugs, Rachel

I didn't believe that anyone could have such a filthy mind.
For God's sake this guy should be banned from the net before he
corrupts us all.  Go and wash your mouth out with soap, Carasso.

Jason
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Elapsed time
Date: 26 Aug 92 17:10:07 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


Overheard conversation:

Programmer: `Would you buy a scheduler that took twenty-two hours to
schedule twenty-four hours of activities?'

Other Programmer: `From our point of view the question is not "Would we
buy it?" so much as "Would we sell it?"'

-- Ken "all conversation is monitored" Johnson

-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio)
Subject: Re: using rn
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.  Mountain View, CA
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 16:27:03 GMT


In article <4705@gorn.echo.com>, drseuss@gorn.echo.com writes:
|Now, yes, I realise that rn is not the newsreader of choice for most
|people, but it does have it's advantages; not having to think being 
|the primary one.  In fact, in the documentation for rn, it mentions 
|that you could read through all your unread news and only have to hit
|the space bar.  The documentation doesn't mention the mental health
|problems that develop from doing this, but very rarely is documentation
|this comprehensive.

Mr Bedno, you have just breathed new purpose & life into my
professional career.  I will no longer mutter dark mutterings
about going back to school, becoming a street beggar, or doing
anything other than writing one more sentence about C++.  My
next book will mention the mental health consequences of doing
whatever it is I am documenting.

---
c j silverio
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: mistaken identity
Date: 1 Sep 92 20:25:44 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)


	"Not `Mork.'  It's `Mark.': M-A-R-K-dot."
	"No, not from Ork.  From Illinois."

Mark., actually it will never happen
gooley@netcom.com
From: ata@sage.cc.purdue.edu (ata boy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: please continue
Date: 2 Sep 92 16:43:40 GMT
Organization: Lice are people too!

In article <bleh> nj@magnolia.Berkeley.EDU (Narciso Jaramillo) writes:
>He plunged his hands into the vat of teeming lice, then poured them over his
neighbor's three-year-old daughter, making his grandest statement to date
as a Lice-Rights activist.

ata boy
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: Help me hype up my job title.
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 11:37:55 GMT

In <1992Aug24.170811.3462@sci34hub.sci.com> gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston) writes:
>In article <5908@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>|I received a form to update my undergraduate school's alumni directory.
>|I don't think they would take "El Supremo Commandante" as a job title.
>|I am leaning towards:
>|Assistant Instruction Officer.
>|Military Assistant to the Dean of Instruction.
>|However these lack that certain zing that makes it stand out, say, on a
>|resume.
>|I do not want "assistant" in it.
>|I do want "MIS" or "Information Systems" to appear in it.
>Senior Information Systems Data Dissemination Specialist.
>Should really catch some attention...

"Senior Information Systems Data Insemination Specialist" will probably
catch even more attention.
From: jcoates@ncrsmg.DaytonOH.NCR.COM (Jim D Coates)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Prediction
Date: 1 Sep 92 17:44:01 GMT
Reply-To: jcoates@ncrsmg.DaytonOH.NCR.COM (Jim D Coates)
Organization: NCR Systemedia Group Headquarters, Dayton (Miamisburg), Ohio

In article <1992Aug31.033010.14320@cs.rose-hulman.edu>
waldbyjf@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (The Sheik) writes:
>Distribution: world
>
>By the way, I must come out of the closet. In preparation for teebee this  
>summer, I have browsed through my Webster's Third Dictionary Unabridged,  
>though not necessarily in that order. I have also been ferociously  
>attacking the crossword puzzle books, and took a four-year Latin program  
>in a week. I feel that I am properly prepared for the potent wars  
>primarily made-up of pretentious patronization which are often partook of  
                                                                ^^^^^^^

You obviously didn't pay enough attention to the declensions listed. It's
partaken, Rose-Hulmanite!

Jim

subliminal .sig follows





(If you feel a sudden urge to send me money, it's OK. Follow your feelings.)


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre