From: little@bellatrix.NoSubdomain.NoDomain (H. Mark Little)
Newsgroups: rec.folk-dancing
Subject: Re: Etiquette Question
Date: 7 Apr 92 15:06:48 GMT
Reply-To: little@sol.crd.ge.com
Organization: GE Research & Development

I tend to agree with aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine) in his
views about same-gender dancing.  True, my usual preference is to dance
with women, but I also enjoy dancing with men.  Often when dancing with
another man, we switch roles (intentionally) during the dance.  Sometimes,
this occurs only at the ends of the lines, but occasionally, the opportunity
arises to switch roles in the middle of the set, and even in the middle of
the call!  This happened during the last dance of the Dance Flurry last
February.  I would guess at least half the couples we danced with made some
comment about getting to dance with *both* members of our couple every time
they met us in line, most seeming to perhaps jokingly point out a mistake
(and probably knowing it was intentional).  It was quite fun for us, I know
for certain, and I believe a good number of our corners thought so as well.
However, I discovered a propensity for the men to try quite hard to do a
symmetrical swing with me when I was dancing the women's role, and approaching
them in the woman's role of ballroom position!  Most of them got the idea,
but there were one or two who insisted, so I complied.  This confuses me,
somewhat.  I can understand expecting a symmetrical swing, if that is what
one usually gets with the same gender, but insisting on it?  I suppose if
they expected me to be particularly bad at the woman's position of ballroom
I could understand it.  I *think* I do reasonably well, but then, I've never
danced with myself in this manner, so maybe I'm mistaken.  :-)

Another thing that sometime squigs me a bit is when, during a
right-and-left-thru with the same gender, the man refuses to have physical
contact during the "courtesy turn."  I respect their space, and do not try
to force the issue, but it still feels pretty rude to be ignored by another
dancer in this way.

Please don't misunderstand me here;  I usually have a great time dancing,
and don't judge people harshly when these things happen.  Different people
have different styles of dancing, and that makes it all the more interesting!

I also agree with Arlen Johnson about encouraging new dancers.  At a festival
I once attended, there was a caller who in the first few dances, managed to
alienate most of the dancers, many well-respected callers, and the Band.
The people to whom I talked seemed to agree this particular person was
doing a good job of making the whole deal pretty unenjoyable for all involved,
and I suspect any newcomers to the scene would likely have been quite well
put off the whole thing.  Fortunately, there was another caller/band at this
festival who compensated for this with a wonderful time for all at the "main"
dance of the weekend.

On another note, in a message from Roger Noe, he says "Despite having made
MANY mistakes, I enjoyed myself tremendously..."
Roger, for me, often, the fun of it is making the mistakes, and successfully
"recovering" from them.  Or helping others recover from theirs.  And the
challenge of trying to add frills *without disturbing the dance*. (he says at
the risk of opening a smoldering can of worms :-)  Rarely do I encounter
disdain at my antics, (though this *could* be a flaw in my perception), so
I suspect I haven't, as yet, ruffled too many feathers.  Either that, or
my comrades are equally oblivious to the "problem."  :-)  In any case, keep
up the dancing;  the fun only gets better...

Sorry for using so much bandwidth with this posting.
-- 
H. Mark Little                |  "If patience is a virtue,
Consulting at GE-CRD AILab    |     then I guess I'm not very virtuous."
+1 (518) 387-5476             |  - me, when I was about 10, and didn't realize
little@sol.crd.ge.com         |        the connotations of what I had said.

ps.  Hi, Bruce, Ted, Dan and any other net.personas/dancers out there in
etherland!