From: anon-1016@twwells.com (Prisoner)
Subject: RE: a message from solitary
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 02:39:52 GMT

Relkie writes:
: I WAS NOT OUT TO CAUSE HARM. But it's too late for that.

Yes. That is exactly right. It's way too late. If this had
remained a private matter, you and I could have dealt with it
ourselves or not, as you saw fit. It isn't anymore, though.
Everyone who has a stake in this, which is to say everyone who is
using or contemplates using the APS, now can justify a need to
know whether or not I'm going to misuse my position as its
administrator. You and I now both have a responsibility to
provide the facts so that others can decide for themselves.

Bluntly: I won't. The only people who are in danger from me are
those I am communicating with on close personal matters and then
only if I view them as ones who might meet some of my emotional
needs. The precondition of that is that I am actually
communicating with them on such matters. It was to avoid this that
I had cut off communications with people. This has nothing at all
to do with my position as APS administrator because, as admin, my
few communications are strictly technical in nature.

But there is another issue besides the specific thing I might do
to others and that is the general distrust your messages caused.
You didn't merely warn people to avoid close contact with me,
something I agree with, you painted me as some kind of monster
just waiting for another victim. There is a big difference
between, on the one hand, someone who is fucked up and unable to
avoid certain harmful behaviors except by avoiding the situations
that might lead to them and, on the other hand, someone who gets
his jollies by lurking around for someone to mess with and then
messing with them.

I feel obligated to assure people that I am not that sort. The
picture you painted of me looks very like that but that picture
is very, very incomplete. It would be tempting to tell you that
this problem would be resolved by your saying that you don't
think the latter. There's three things wrong with this. The first
is that maybe you do. The second is that that would be awfully
like hiding the matter just to avoid making waves. The third is
that people aren't likely to believe you. So, I'm not going to
suggest that nor accept your saying so as a resolution to this
matter.

: I am, however, waiting to hear what you have to say.

I'll get to it. Starting right now. I won't be able to do more
than a little at a time.

There's something I want very much to avoid: I do not want this
to turn into a confrontation between Relkie and myself or between
her supporters and mine. I wish very much that there wasn't such
a distinction.

I think that she and I should air this out to the point where
people have some idea of what happened but I do not think that
passing public judgements is a good idea. So, if anyone has nasty
things to say to me, please put them in e-mail. And, if you think
I'm being confrontational or judgemental, or that I'm "blaming
the victim" or somesuch, I want to be told about it, but do it in
e-mail please.

So, for my first contribution:

You and I discussed the possibility of sex _before_ I went up
there. We discussed this to the point where we agreed on my
bringing up the necessary contraceptives, just in case. I recall
your saying that if we reached the point where sex was a
possibility, that I should "let it happen". As far as I know, at
that time I hadn't done anything that you would have seen as my
pushing you into sex. Does this agree with your recollections? Is
there anything important about that discussion that I left out?

I was going to write more but I'm getting sick again. Later.


Prisoner



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