Newsgroups: bit.listserv.christia
Date:         Tue, 15 Sep 1992 02:45:48 EDT
From:         JEK@NIHCU.BITNET
Subject:      questions after a wedding

Tom Brewer has recently attended a Roman Catholic wedding and has
some questions.

 > Why was Mary exalted and not Jesus?
 > Why was the wedding song praising Mary and not Jesus?
 > Why did the couple stand before a statue of Mary and pray to the
statue?

I am not a Roman Catholic, so perhaps I should leave this one alone.
However, I think a few comments might be in order.
     First, if you think that Jesus was not exalted, you were not
listening to the service. I am acquainted with the Roman Catholic
Liturgy, and I can assure you that it has a lot more to say about
Jesus than it does about Mary. Borrow a Missal, and read through the
Service, and see for yourself.
     The wedding song and the business of asking Mary (a fellow
Christian) for her prayers for the married couple (not quite the
same thing as "praying to the statue") are not part of the official
service. My guess is that the bride and groom wish their family life
to be happy and dedicated to God, and that they when they looked
around for an example of a family  that was dedicated to God and in
which there was love and blessing and mutual service, they thought
of the home of Mary and Joseph at Nazareth. They therefore made a
point of stopping in the vicinity of the statue of Mary to dedicate
their home and family life to the service of God as Mary and Joseph
did.
     As for the wedding song, not having heard it, I hesitate to
judge whether it was appropriate. Music at a wedding (I am here
talking about weddings in ANY church setting, not just about Roman
Catholic ones), other than the music of the service itself, is
normally something thrown in as an extra because the bride thinks it
would be nice to have some music. Usually it is chosen by the bride,
and is something she thinks sounds suitably syrupy.  I have heard
some doozies at Protestant weddings. "Love's Old Sweet Song," "When
you come to the end of a Perfect Day," "O Promise me that Someday
you and I," were all standards at Methodist weddings in the 1940's.
And none of them mentions God. My guess is that this song was
chosen by the bride or her mother because it sounded nice. Perhaps
they chose a soloist who was a friend of the family, who then chose
the song because (s)he liked it and could sing it impressively. As
for the priest, he probably is accustomed to letting the bride get
away with anything that is not actually anti-Catholic.
     I hesitate to suggest this, but you might consider whether you
are a little touchy on this particular point and therefore
misinterpreted some of the things you saw or heard and exaggerated
the importance of others.  I remember a few years ago getting onto a
conversation with a Protestant lady, a relative of mine. The
conversation turned to music, and I sang her an Easter hymn,
"Christians, to the Paschal Victim offer your thankful praises." She
listened and then said, "Why did the song talk about Mary? I don't
like that." I thought a moment and said, "There is one mention of
Mary at the tomb.  It is talking about Mary Magdalene." She said,
"Well, if it is Mary Magdalene, I guess it is all right."

 > Why was an official papal statement called an "Apostolic
Blessing"?

Because the Pope claims to be the successor of the Apostle Peter. I
will leave any further comment to Roman Catholics.

 > Catholic doctrine states "The Sacrament of Matrimony bestows
Sanctifying
 > Grace upon the contracting parties." ... Does not this conflict
with
 > the teaching from Scripture that Christ is our sanctification?

Nope. Suppose that someone says, "I have a pen that writes
underwater." Someone else says, "No, your pen does not write
underwater. You write, using your pen." Surely we would agree that
both ways of speaking are common English, and that the difference
between them seldom causes confusion. To say that a letter conveys
information, and to say that the writer conveys information by means
of the letter, are both acceptable ways of expressing the same idea.
Similarly with saying that the Sacrament confers grace, and saying
that Our Lord Jesus Christ confers grace by means of the Sacrament.

 Yours,
 James Kiefer