Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk (Clive Grace)
Subject: Re: The world, and what it'd be like...
Reply-To: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 18:47:00 +0000


Reading through the last day or so's worth of messages, Tanais falls 
upon the reverberating echoes of one Mr Darkshot who makes a few 
comments about The Place that he doesn't feel happy with, but it can 
be best summarised in two lines of Darkshot's...

> The closest thing to passion anyone has ever heard colors his voice, and
> he rumbles: "You people need to get Out more."]

"Hey hey! HEY! That's far too judgemental!" Tanais growls as he 
arches his back and swivels two finely chiseled ears in the direction 
of Darkshot, "I know that in RL terms you are probably long gone from 
The Place, but that stuff you just posted hangs around the air for a 
while, cubs (or newbies or whatever) can pick up the scent of that 
and be put off of entering The Place... I feel that some balance is 
in order.
    "I didn't join The Place because I wanted to retreat from reality. I joined becau
se I wanted to share  my pain (and hopefully soon tell 
ou of my happier times) and moreover, *listen* to other people's pain 
and delight, and join in an environment where people aren't going to 
hurt me or laugh at me or do all sorts of stuff I expect people to do 
to me when I go out into the real world.
    "I joined The Place because I need to be reassured (again) that there are nice pe
ople out there, that there are people that won't judge 
e or say "I think you should do this..." or "I think you should do 
that". I need to be in a safe environment where I can [ahem] bounce 
off the walls a little." At this Tanais looks a little sheepishly at 
Mike whis is, both eyeing Tanais and carefully cleaning a jug -- 
suitable for the containment of Tequila, Salt, but no ice and no 
cherry.
    "But I didn't just join here to mope and gripe. I came here to listen and to hope
fully say some words that will give people -- including
myself -- the strength of will to find their own solutions. You may 
have found a solution by walking out, Mr Darkshot, you may be back; 
that's you're descision but I will never judge you or anyone here for 
leaving or joining or even for what you say -- unless you knowingly 
hurt someone here, and then you'll not only have one angry fox on 
your hands, but I would imagine a whole horde of ruffled Mermaids, 
Merrytails, Mice and goddess knows what."
     Tanais sits for a moment and studies his satchel, still on the floor. The Pizza 
Party decorations glinting prettily off of the brass bu
kles and the shiny brass clasp dazzle him for a moment. "I have a 
councellor. He's wonderful and he and I sit and and talk for an hour 
and a half each week. I *pay* for an hour long session, but he's 
happy to extend it  for an extra half hour as he 'enjoys listening to 
me visibly healing' (his words not mine)'. He's never said anything 
judgemental about me, my condition or what I've done, even when I 
tried an overdose. He just sat and we talked it through.. 
    "The point is that in talking my motives for doing it through, I found out *why* 
I did such a dumb thing, that I discovered reasons in *
yself* why I did it, and I worked out what to do next, in order to 
make sure I look after myself. Some may ask 'why do I pay this man 
when I could talk about this with a friend?' and my answer would be 
because a friendship needs more give and take, because you can't 
expect to dump all this stuff on someone  and not to expect it to 
affect them, or to change the nature of the relationship.  My 
councellor offers a place where I can not only dump my emotional and 
sexual problems, but it is also a place where I can lay out all the 
"pieces" and move them about and put the shattered pieces back -- 
piece by piece -- his non judgemental approach, his encouragement, 
his simple words like "go on", or "what does that mean?" at the right 
places in the conversation gives me the freedom to sort out my 
problems as I go along. 
    "The Place can be seen as something like that. It's safe, it's warm, it's friendl
y. But it's also thoughtful. It's full of people that d
n't judge, who can offer their own opinions which I can read and see 
if it strikes a chord with me. I suspect we are all nursing or own 
inner pain of some sort or another and I'm certainly not the only 
person in the world who was abused in some way or another. The place 
makes it easier to bear so that when we do go into the real world, we 
are happier, stronger and ultimately more loving than when we left 
it... That's how I see The Place anyhow, it's got nothing to do with 
avoiding the real world, it's about enhancing our appreciation of it.
    At this Tanais sits down, a little embarrassed at his outburst hoping some of it 
was relevant. Under his red coat you can't see he is bl
shing, but he *is* panting a little as he starts to sweat. He hopes 
that he's not annoyed anyone and most of all, he hopes he has 
mirrored some of the sentiments here.
--
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| When I grow up, I want to give up being   |cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk|
| a Journalist and learn how to write...    |                          |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
|       Bisexual knitter of quality and distinction since 1992.        |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+

Newsgroups: alt.callahans