From: cosc184z@menudo.uh.edu (David Alten)
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 20:00:19 GMT

In article <1992Nov3.233252.20022@news.columbia.edu> kps@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Karthik P Sheka) writes:
>In article <1992Nov3.202632.26050@fico.uucp> rbw%apple.com@fico.UUCP (Randy Wong) writes:
>>In article <1992Nov2.205735.6783@athena.mit.edu> dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>>>In article <1d3q3nINN84c@sam.ksu.ksu.edu>, sdoran@sam.ksu.ksu.edu (Steven Marcotte) writes:
>>>|> bgohari@wam.umd.edu (Babak Gohari) writes:|> 
>>>|> >In article <1d35ppINN7mb@sportster.ksu.ksu.edu> tilden@sportster.ksu.ksu.edu (Tilden-Master of Illogic) writes:
>>>|> >>In article <Bx019p.D1s@willamette.edu>, dlutz@willamette.edu (David Lutz) writes:
>>>|> >>>In article <1992Oct31.145009.13015@athena.mit.edu> dmsilev@athena.mit.edu (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>>>|> >>>>In article <BwysHL.ELu@access.digex.com>, brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard) writes:
>>>|> >>>>|> In article <1992Oct30.092529.28581@hellgate.utah.edu> galt%peruvian.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu writes:
>>>|> >>>>|> >Michael Schmahl [Black-Robe Mage] writes:
>>>|> >>>>|> >>lairdpg@lub001.lamar.edu writes
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>22161-bunz writes:
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>Brett G Person writes:
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>>smith@ctron.com writes:
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>>>IronEagle writes:
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>>>>Matt Welsh writes:
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>>>>>Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>>>>Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>>>HA! _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex Sinclair! TopTHAT!
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>>I'm running NextStep on Atari 2600 Video Game System. 
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>>Just last night I was able to get Windows to boot on my Sears PONG game.
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer on my Game-Boy.   
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>I just installed a 10 Gigabyte Drive to handle all the replies!  However, it
>>>|> >>>>|> >>>only runs at 230,000 Baud due to the large drive slowing it down.
>>>|> >>>>|> >>I fear I will not be getting news any longer...  The batteries on my  
>>>|> >>>>|> >>calculator-watch are running out.
>>>|> >>>>|> >My calculator-watch is solar...  And if I turned off the lights, NO-ONE would
>>>|> >>>>|> >be getting news...
>>>|> >>>>|> 
>>>|> >>>>|> feh. I'm so slick NASA just awarded ME the TERADATA contract to run on my
>>>|> >>>>|> TV remote! They liked my proposal mainly because I'm ALSO able to shoehorn
>>>|> >>>>|> in the TEXAS SUPERCOLLIDER computations between commercials!
>>>|> >>>>|> 
>>>|> >>>>|> Beat THAT!
>>>|> >>>>Well, well well. SSC calculations, huh. I built a system out of 2 inches of wire,
>>>|> >>>>3 pennies and a AA battery that does realtime calculations of particle vectors
>>>|> >>>>during the Big Bang. A complete simulation of the first 2 years of the life of
>>>|> >>>>the universe, accuarate to the theoretical limit, takes about 5 seconds.
>>>|> >>>>
>>>|> >>>And you guys think you are so great.  I just spent the last half hour getting
>>>|> >>>X11 to run on slide rule.  I am still having problems connecting it to the net
>>>|> >>>around here, but I would welcome any suggestions.
>>>|> >>>
>>>|> >>So what!!! I'm running Xinitrc, TWMRC, Internet, and 27 muds off of a paperclip.
>>>|> >>Not to mention the fact that I am designing a new form of television with 7000
>>>|> >>pixiles based off a piece of tissue paper.  Next!!!
>>>|> >
>>>|> >Man, that's baby stuff.  I'm running a particle accelerator utilizing anti-
>>>|> >matter-matter reactions in my doorknob, and calculating everything in the
>>>|> >fourth dimension using a single dip switch and a large glass of water.
>>>|> 
>>>|> Child's play, I have an old piece of cheese that is, at this very moment, 
>>>|> raytracing an actual model of the universe five hours from now, while
>>>|> at the same time calculating the heat produced from the new intel
>>>|> Pentium.
>>>
>>>And you people think that you are hackers! I'm currently engaged in a project
>>>which involves simultaneous simulation of multiple universes (To see what would
>>>happen if various constants change. Pi=8.4 is an interesting one.) My hardware
>>>consists of a single wooden pencil (no paper). With it, I can do real-time
>>>simulations of 2^32 universes in parallel.
>>
>>You guys are whimps!!  I've just finished converting a microwave oven into a
>>paradimensional teleportation device.  The only problem I'm having so far is
>>that my breakfast bagel keeps disappearing!!  May have to eat it raw . . .
>
>When you finally get it to work without the oven being plugged in, call me.
>Once you figure out the oven isn't even necessary, but the bagel IS, then
>you've gotten to where I was about 400 years ago...  From that, immortality
>and time travel are trivial derivations.  HINT: Where exactly did the bagel
>go, and how can you stop it from ever getting there?
>(I lied.  The bagel isn't necessary either.  A piece of Fairy cake would do
>just as well.)
>
>//Karthik

Well, I guess you are all beneath me.  You see, I don't need anything.  I just
use my brain...
Well, sorry to disappoint you all, but I must confess you are all _way_
beneath me.  I do not need any object not on my body (computer, modem, fridge,
batteries, or even a bagel).  I just use my brain......

-- 
David Alten
cosc184z@menudo.uh.edu
HE KUER!!

Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade