HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: coleman@rocky.cs.ucla.edu (Mike Coleman)
Subject: Re: Fa La La
Keywords: Xmas
Organization: UCLA, Computer Science Department
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 12:01:39 GMT

fsquared@eff.org (Fawn Fitter) writes:
|What's the sappiest, gooiest, most out-and-out romantic Xmas gift you've
|ever gotten?  

Dunno about received, but I can think of the sappiest, etc., Xmas gift I ever
gave someone.  It was a stuffed animal that I gave to my girlfriend in high
school.  They had about a hundred of these cute stuffed puppies in a bin at
the store.  I spent about 45 minutes going through them looking for the one
with just the right expression.  :-)  Definitely gooey, if it's the thought
that counts.

Actually, now that I think about it, the sappiest, etc., Xmas gift I ever
received was a simple, musty old scarf.  A woman friend (permanently
unavailable, unfortunately) dug it out of her closet and gave it to me.  She
put it on me as I was leaving her house late one arctic evening, so I wouldn't
freeze on the way home.  Actually, I don't think that she really meant for me
to keep it, but when I explained what it meant to me, she seemed pleased and
never asked for it back.

What is the significance of the scarf?  When I'm feeling down, or sick, or
maybe just cold, I take it out and put it around my neck, or maybe just look
at it, and remember that somewhere there's someone--someone whose opinion I
respect completely--who loves me.  Dunno if it's romantic, but it works for
me.

Oh, and it's bright blue, which is my favorite color.  :-)

Mike

-- 
--Mike Coleman (coleman@cs.ucla.edu), Lord High Executioner of Anhedonia-----
Love is a ship / we all hope to steer // Through troubled times 
/ cross an ocean of tears // A midnight sea / that swells in your eyes
// Takes just one look / to know I'm still mesmerized...  --Level 42
From: v119qkv2@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (POE)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Save Me!
Date: 15 Dec 92 22:57:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <0096505A.E137AF00@Msu.oscs.montana.edu>, oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes...
>We all know women who have rescue fantasies (Prince Charming'll come along and
>take me away from all this, etc.), but do men ever have "rescuer" fantasies? 
>Do men ever want to "sweep a girl off her feet"?  

	I would have to answer a definite "yes".  This is probably one of the 
reasons I'm interested in the girl I'm interested in now (I want to "rescue"
her from a bad relationship).  I'd love to sweep a girl off her feet.  Unfor-
tunately I have yet to accomplish this.  Any ideas how?

>(Unrelated)  Doesn't anyone believe in love at first sight anymore?  This is
>supposed to be the *romance* group, and I was wondering.  Is there no passion
>left in the world anymore?

	Love at first sight?  Never happened to me.  Never seen it happen to 
anyone.  BUT, I believe it exists.
	 
>And about forgiveness...I think if my RP cheated on me, I'd have to get a
>shotgun.  But then, that's not *nice* is it?
>All this talk about companionship seems kind of dull.  I'll take a rapid
>heartbeat any day!
(bu-bum,bu-bum,bu-bum:^)
>Okay, so I'm bored....
>Cheryl

-You and me both,
Mike Poe
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: kjberte@cray.com (Kurt Bertelsen)
Subject: I've just been "LJBF"ed
Reply-To: kjberte@cray.com
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 15 Dec 92 13:09:32 CST


I've just been "LJBF"ed.  I didn't even see it comming.  She
wants to "try to work it out with her old boyfriend."  I was just 
starting to think about what to do for our one year.  

Do I return the christmas gift I already bought her?  Is it to petty?

 
Why does it hurt soooo BAD?!  

 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Kurt Bertelsen              I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.
kjberte@cray.com            I was born in 1518 in the village of 
DoD# 0538                     Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel.
86 Miniceptor               And...I am IMMORTAL.   - Highlander

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: sweide@uceng.uc.edu (Steven Weide)
Subject: Re: Advice needed on 'I don't know'
Organization: University of Cincinnati
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 03:22:27 GMT

In article <474@ptt-iat> news%ptt-iat@nluug.nl writes:
>Hello A.R readers
>
>The story is as follows: 
>
>There is this girl I really like, but I'm not the type a guy who goes chasing 
>after girls. After a period of time she finds out I'm crazy about her ( some 
>friends of her told her ) and she told them 'I like him, but I'm not in love
>with him'. I was in the presence of this conversation and according to her,
>my mood was going down. At time she realized it was true. A week later I
>spoke to her, and she asked how much I liked her. I told her I liked her very
>much etc.. She said to me: 'I like you, but I'm not in love ...but'.
>
>That last word is my problem. She tells a friend of mine 'I like him' and a 
>few days later she tell 'I like him...but I'm confused on how to go further'.
>
>Once in a few weeks I give her some of the stories that appear on alt.romance
>and on of the pages where I put some comments on for her to read, she had
>underlined this line:
>
>"If on the other hand, the guy shows how he feels (which after all is hard not
>to do), she has the option of waiting and finding out more about the guy."
>
>from one of the news-items. I presume this was about me.
>
>The question:
>- 'What does that "I'm confused" really means ?'
>- The underlined line is clear, but what does she wants to find out about me?
>
>Postman "Now I'm really in love' Pete
>
>


What the I'm confused really means is that she doesn't like you.  If she did
she would go out with you and not play mind games with you.  She just 
doesn't want to hurt you by telling you the truth, so she puts you through  
agony by leading you on.  Don't try to figure it out, just forget about her.
	Steve

"Honesty is my only excuse."
		Metallica
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett)
Subject: Re: Gestures of Affection
Organization: University of Hawaii, Dept. of Electrical Engineering
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 21:07:31 GMT

In article <10DEC199222513307@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov> casey@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov (Sean Casey GSFC (301)286-4558) writes:
>In article <225@cnmhnet.UUCP>, keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard) writes...
>>	Bottom line? Don't give compliments in the office.
>>Don't say hello to any of the ladies.  Refuse to even look
>>in their direction.  This is the only way you will be safe
>>from being charged with sexual harrassment.
>> 
>>--Keithg
>> 
>
>This may be a joke but it's pretty close to the truth... - SC
>

It's sad that it will be used selfishly to discriminite who gives attention
to whom.  I think the ladies have a legal weapon to control the fratinization
of the working environment rather than relief of harrassment.  It boils down
to the above observation.  There will be certainly more reluxance for any guys
but the real crude and daring to want to even speak to women in the working
place.  The U of Hawaii has gone overboard with this issue in the last year.  I
saw the list of cannots and it virually said not to even look at the women 
with any kind of personal interest.  The working place is the one area where
people can demonstrate responsibility and get to know someone as they really
are over time.  With this type of general discouragement, natural development
of new relationships will have to surmount the obstacles of distrust and
unfamiliarity in the public jungle even more.  Maybe natures way to get us to
find value in ourselves alone and be a little more cautious about going from
the frying pan into the sexual fires.

dB 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: How do you win someone back.
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 03:06:49 GMT

World Leader (IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU) wrote:

: If any of you have succeeded at this, let me know how you
: did it!!!  I've tried expensive gifts and everything.  I am
: at the end of my rope.  I was going to be married to my man in
: April...I love him dearly.

You don't.  Only if they want to come back, will they come back.  You can't
manipulate someone into doing what you want.  I know - I've tried for many
years to manipulate people to get them to do what *I* wanted, until I saw the
folly of my ways and gave up.  Now I just let the universe slide by, and
whatever comes, comes.

May I ask you something?  You say you love him - does that mean that you love
him enough to allow him to make decisions about his own life, even if that
means you won't be the one who's sharing that life?
-- 
Ed Carp			erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com	801/538-0177

Who and what would you be if you went beyond your deepest fears?
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen)
Subject: Love is a many splendored thing........
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 13:30:52 GMT

Many years ago there was a song written by this name (even though
there is'nt any such word  in my two dictionaries) and I remember it as a 
lovely song.  And it's true! There are many facets to love, which is something
no one can truly define because it is a matter of heart. I think of it as "when
two hearts meet". But this is only the beginning because there is an urgency
there which only 2 people in love understand. i remember when I met my gal
and it got to the point that I couldn't even think about anyone except her. And
my longing for her got so strong that I almost flunked out of college. So, in a 
minor way, love can be detrimental to your career. But in a major way, love
became the central most important part of my life.
	Now, for such statement I've received a few flames telling me that I 
don't know what I'm talking about, that they wonder how someone as dumb as 
I am ever learned how to run a computer, that patriotism is not for the wise
but for the stupid, etc. I take all these comments in stride because I'll compare 
my record of achievement to their's any day. And I know from experience how
great love is: gentleness, sweetness, the early urgency, how georgeous is her
being, the overwhelming desire to have her and hold her dear for life. These 
feelings were true for me 45 years ago, and they are still there for me today.
	Love with commitment and caring are central to a better life. To accept
less is taking a lower road. There is nothing better is life than a good wife. And
I have tried to fulfill my obligations as a good husband. Love doesn't just 
happen; it will be  found in quiet places away from crowds, where two hearts
can come gently together.

			John Fippen    fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 20:48:46 EST
From: <RXR13@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: WOMEN, huh! --> "nice guy" defined
 <1992Dec4.144450.4394@wkuvx1.bitnet> <BywprD.8Fy@acsu.buffalo.edu>

Great posting Sharon.  Sorry we couldn't meet each other.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@vccsouth06.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: Do Men Enjoy Hurting Women?
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 02:34:19 GMT

01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a pause.) writes:

>	It should be duly noted that not only guys cheat.  So do women.
>As a matter of fact, in the strictest sense of the meaning the other
>women is cheating just as much as the man involved is.  Instead of trying
>to pick from acceptable single stock, she decides to go for the guys who
>are already spoken for in some way or other.

 I think it's the old adage---we want most what we can have least.


-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: aland@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Alan D.)
Subject: Re: forgiveness
Reply-To: aland@cs.brandeis.edu
Organization: As little as possible
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 03:17:35 GMT

oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>In article <7915@tekig7.PEN.TEK.COM>, doughe@tekig6.PEN.TEK.COM (Douglas E Helbling) writes:
>>In article <aland.723998763@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> aland@cs.brandeis.edu writes:
>>>adwright@iastate.edu () writes:
>>>
>>	have a right to expect fidelity.  Infidelity, no matter
>>	how blatant or discreet, is a form of emotional abuse, and

>Does anyone else think this sounds a little harsh?  We, as humans, are
>fallible, we make mistakes... I don't think "abuse" really applies, unless 
>this is some sort of pattern in the relationship.

I sorta agree with you, & wanted to point out that I didn't write
those words; the attributions sorta looked like I did...

	-=Alan
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: kchin@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Ken H Chin)
Subject: Romantic Relationships and Friendships
Summary: How friendships and relationships develop?
Organization: Computer Science Department, Stanford University.
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 19:27:22 GMT

I have always believed that ideally two people should become 
friends first, and let romantic interests develop only after 
the friendship is on solid ground.  Unfortunately, my practice has 
not followed theory, and the end results have not been pretty.

Would it sound too much like an engineer to put forward
the following question to those who are currently involved romantic
relationships.

When you met your SO: 
1. Were you seeking only friendship and were surprised by the 
   subsequent development of romantic interests?
2. Were you seeking friendship knowing that there was the possibility
   of mutual interest in a romantic relationship?
3. Did you pursue a romantic relationship soon after meeting each other,
   with the friendship developing later on?

How common are the different cases, and what are there advantages and
disadvantages?  I am trying to figure out if I am doing anything wrong,
and if so, what I can do to change that.  

I know that many people believe that things romantic should 
happen "naturally" and automatically, but I am convinced that healthy
relationships require work, clear thinking analysis, and real
communication, in addition to "romance".

BTW, the discussions in this news group have been great!  

Ken


----------------------------------------------------
Ken H. Chin	- Graduate Student in search of work
email	kchin@cs.stanford.edu
campus	(415) 497 - 9297
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone)
Subject: What is Love? A Phillistine's Opinion...
Keywords: My Opinion is Worth EXACTLY What You Pay For IT..
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 12:50:06 GMT



The question "What is love?" has been a philosophical mouthful
of sand since the human race invented the word; indeed, the idea of
"love" may be such a personal thing as to defy all attempts to give
it a globally acceptable standard definition.  True, there seem to
be certain "features" we commonly attribute to this sometimes fright-
ening, sometimes thrilling, but always confusing emotional state, but
you'll notice that, generally, beyond these commonly-agreed-upon
characteristics, the *details* remain a matter of dispute---and will
continue to be so 'till the Sun burns out, if I judge human nature
aright.

The problem is, you see, that in asking *what* love is, we are in
effect asking ourselves: What do I feel when I feel "love" for some-
one?  The trouble starts because this automatically obliges us to 
answer an even stickier question to justify our answer(s) to the first:

*Why* do I feel what I feel when I "love" someone?

And here is where the fun starts.

I honestly do not believe that love can be defined, only felt; our
expressions---words, gestures, deeds---are only our feeble endeavors
to communicate to another a tangle of intensely personal feelings that
defy external analysi (sometimes to *ourselves* as well as others.)
The best we may hope to do is carry on carrying on, and hope like
heck that the words we say, the things we do, will somehow strike a 
resonant chord in the heart of that special someone we have these
feelings for; the uncertainty of how to carry the program out, I think,
is what makes "love" appear to be a mystifying, grandly exciting,
supremely nerve-wracking game to the participants---all of whom are
firmly convinced that it's this way because *they* can't fathom how the
*other* person's mind works.

Not so, not so at all---the fault, I believe, lies *not* in our
significant others, but in our own inability to know precisely what
it is we feel towards them and thence to express those feelings in an
accurate and unambiguous fashion, sans the usual emotional, ego- 
protecting subterfuge. 

Perhaps we shouldn't be asking *what* love is, so much as how to
honestly and plainly express it.

Thoughts, anyone?

T.R. Stone
The Sciento-Phillistine of Romance
 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Subject: Re: Romantic Relationships and Friendships
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 00:52:22 GMT

In article <1992Dec12.192722.16084@CSD-NewsHost.Stanford.EDU> kchin@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Ken H Chin) writes:
>When you met your SO: 
>1. Were you seeking only friendship and were surprised by the 
>   subsequent development of romantic interests?

I'm always only seeking friendship, but I usually leave the door open for more.
I've found I very rarely have the big disappointments that way. This has been
the case for just about every man I've dated in the last 6 years.

>2. Were you seeking friendship knowing that there was the possibility
>   of mutual interest in a romantic relationship?

That wasn't the primary intention of the friendship. I like to get to know
people who I think are nifty, whether I date them or not.

>3. Did you pursue a romantic relationship soon after meeting each other,
>   with the friendship developing later on?

It's been my experience that when I'm going to get involved with someone on
more than a casual basis, that recognition of "something more" was there almost
right from the start. At times, nothing was done about it, either because of
timing, other committments, etc. But the "chemistry" (oh no, here come the
flames) has usually been evident.

So the friendship and the romance usually develop in parallel. If one and not
the other develops, then it usually doesn't turn into a romantic relationship.

-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Do Women Really Want A Guy That Makes Them Laugh?
From: rcbi110@marshall.wvnet.edu
Date: 16 Dec 92 10:09:41 -0500
Organization: Marshall University

> 	2) A man that can help burden my sorrows, and allow me to help with
                                                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> 	his. Pain is never easy to deal with, but with the right person, the
        ^^^

Is it just me, or do a lot of guys think that "aw, no girl would want to
bother with my problems."


> 	5) I suppose that this could go under number 4, but I want to be
> 	able to see his laughter and smile in his eyes... to me the eyes are
> 	a window into a person's mind and heart... it you can't look and see 
> 	more than just an 'eye-ball'... the passion is lost.

I've heard this all my life, and still I'm not sure if I get it.  I've never
been able to see anything extrodinary in anybody's eyes?  At least, I don't
think so... Please elaborate.

((   ||  /\\ \\  / /\\  ((      R. Alan Monroe       ((   STOP             ((
 )) _// /--\\ \\/ /--\\  )) rcbi110@muvms3.wvnet.edu  ))  TALKING...        ))
((              _       ((                           ((       START        ((
 ))  ||  /\\  //  ||_/   ))    Pinkwater Rules!       ))      CHALKING!     ))
((  _// /--\\ \\_ || \  ((            :^)            ((               -CMB ((
From: rath6051@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: A favor please?!?
Date: 11 Dec 92 13:31:11 -0600
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

Hi all!

        Although I don't really read this group more than once every few weeks,
I need to ask a favor of all of you.  My girlfriend reads this group a bit
more, and has posted here also.  She is one of the tiggers, and I would like to
thank the tigger from Canada(victor) for sending her a birthday messagge.
        Her birthday is the nature of my request.  Today(the 11th) is her 23rd
birthday, and not too many people have noticed, or enthusiastically said happy
birthday.  Although I am doing everything I can to cheer her up, she still
seems sad.  To anyone that has time this weekend, could you please just write
her a quick note saying happy birthday?  I would greatly appreciate it.  I
think it would make her pretty happy too. :)
        Thanks for all of your help guys. :}

Her address is   "markway1112@iscsvax.uni.edu"

Thanks

   _________________________________________________________________________
 /                                                                           \
|    John Rath                                      ,,,                       |
|    University of Northern Iowa                   (o o)                      |
|    <Rath6051@iscsvax.uni.edu>            ----oOO--( )--OOo----              |
|_____________________________________________________________________________|
|Why is it a penny for your thoughts,  |  I used to work for a factory that   |
|but you have to put your two cents in?|  made fire hydrants.  You couldn't   |
|  Somebody's making a penny.          |  park anywhere near the place.       |
|                    - Steven Wright   |                    - Steven Wright   |
 \ ____________________________________|____________________________________ /

Xref: sparky alt.romance:15399 soc.singles:34224 alt.romance.chat:22085
From: dch@rodan.UU.NET (Dan C. Horner)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,alt.romance.chat
Subject: Do Not try this at home, These idiots are trained professionals...
Date: 17 Dec 1992 19:01:53 -0500
Organization: UUNET Technologies Inc, Falls Church, VA
NNTP-Posting-Host: rodan.uu.net

Rip and Larry go head to head...
(Oh, that's SOOOOOO kinky...)

>> I truss blade as far as I can throw him!
>
>Let me get this straight - you wrap a rope around him, then throw him?
>Is that how he unwinds?  Or, (to put a different spin on this), does this
>mean that you top him?
>--
>Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)


Well you know Larry, there's nothing quite like a good rope
burn on your more sensitive parts for inducing that truly
unique state of mind wherein you feel bound to let the
roper know and experience the full impact of every 
eensy tiny bit of sense-laden delirium that you
yourself have become  completely innured to...

<Don't end your sentences with a preposition!>
(oh shit...)

So, yeah, you might say I unwind in unusual ways,
but normally, there are svelt women involved...
Not Papa Smurf over there...

BTW Rip, in the you said it would never happen...I order
the shinai tomorrow... Nyah nyah...

Blade
Newsgroups: alt.romance