From: skip@rosalyn.stat.uga.edu (Skip Gundlach)
Subject: Re: Gastronomic eruptions 
Summary: See the part about how strong a man should be first 
Organization: UGA Statistics Department
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 15:02:29 GMT

In article <1993Jan7.003149.2571@merrimack.edu> nin15b63@merrimack.edu (The Wolf) writes:
>K. Roper <ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> writes: 
>>
>>  Strong enough to admit that yes, women sweat, fart and belch.
>
I've left the rest of the following story intact since it's a good
one, but want to contribute something near and dear to our family -
gastronomic erupters all...

>One of my roommates in college went out with this girl -- nice girl -- who
>would make wild love to him all night and then, in the morning, challenge him
>to a farting contest (and win).  Now, I know what you're thinking: "How can *I*
>meet a woman like that?".  You just don't place a personal ad asking for a SF
>who likes sincere romance and gross bodily noises.  You have to be a special
>kind of lucky to attract such a prize.  Peter was.  Imagine the bliss you would
>feel as your woman would roll over to you and whisper, "I want us to be engaged
>... in a farting contest."
>
>Realize that out-farting Peter is no small task.  One day, a bunch of us were
>enjoying elegant chinese cuisine at a local China Chef.  Matt, who was sitting
>directly across from Peter, raised his finger to draw attention to the fact he
>had something to add to our dinner conversation.  As he opened his mouth to
>speak, he executed a belch which would later be determined by analysts to
>measure 3.7 on the Richter scale.  

From a BC comic:  Peter (not the farter) climbs to the Oracle, and
says, "O great Oracle, what is the difference between a good burp and
a great burp?"

The oracle replies, "In a good burp, the earth trembles."

(Next frame)  "A great burp is preceded by animals nervously whining
and pawing the ground."

Since our family (of origin, and my offspring) is all talented in
esophageal eruptions (I modestly claim to have hidden in a garage at
my cousins' house when I was 11 and had the neighborhood children
convinced by my cousins that they had a lion for a pet, and also had
the ability to recite the pledge of allegiance non-stop without
breathing - a feat not so notable among throat cancer larangectomics,
but unusual among the normal folk), I felt it appropriate to include
this comic in our newsletter recently...

The above constitutes the OBJ, admittedly plagiarized...


>Apparently, Peter was already prepared to 
>rebutt (sic) his point.  Before the last reverberation had even escaped Matt's
>mouth, Peter countered "OH YEAH?!", and, without missing a beat, threw up his
>right leg, and blasted the kind of fart that would have sent Wyle E. Coyote
>back to the drawing board.  It would later be determined by analysts to be
>totally disgusting.  We all completely lost it, assuming we ever had it.  My
>friend, Barry, had fried rice coming out of his noses.  The dialogue had flown
>so smoothly that I patiently waited to see if Matt had anything to add.  A
>family of 5 got up to leave, though one of their kids walked over to ask Peter
>for his autograph first.  It was a magic moment.
>
>So, the answer to the question in the subject line is: strong enough to stand
>up for his convictions; strong enough to attract the kind of woman he wants;
>strong enough to bench-press at least 50 pounds -- with his penis (oops, that's
>another thread on really effective pick-up lines); strong enough clear the
>patrons out of a small fast-food joint.  Come to think of it, the place was
>closed by the board of health shortly thereafter, so I guess you wouldn't want
>to be *that* strong.
>-----
> Andy Harrington                      | nin15b63@merrimack.edu
> Computer Geek                        | aharrington@ldbvax.lotus.com
> Merrimack College, North Andover, MA | I'm too sexy for this network.


-- 
Skip Gundlach .nosig (Sorry, that's the best I could do on short
notice, and I'm not even an electrician...) 


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