HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Song of Sixpence - Part Five
Date: 4 Oct 92 15:33:16 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana



>John smiles, enjoying the large birthday party for one of her favorite
>callahinians, sipping some mulled cider and munching on some cake as
>she orbits the blueberry pizza suspiciously.

>"One always wonders if Didi-sprite doesn't know quite what to do with
>me during these preperations: Neither am I one of the 'girls' planning
>the shindig, nor one of the 'guys' employed in moving things for it.
>What does one do with someone who's a little bit of both?"

kitten giggles at john...."well, dear john, "you can do whatever you
want....plan/move/supervise.... your choice...."

>She smiles, remembering the signs.  "Now, if I had set them up, they
>would have said something like:
>"This"
>"Way"
>"To"
>"The"
>"Egress..."

>"With the last arrow pointing to a door that would enter back into the bar.
>But then again, I always did like Barnum."

"of course we could always do a burma shave ad....or even a _mad
magazine_ version of a burma shave ad..."

>She continues to sip cider as she peers distrustfully at pizza.  "It sounds
>good, but I don't think fruits belong anywhere near pizza."
>   She tilts her head.  "except, of course, for tomatoes."

"the pizza is okay....but more dessertish....so you can have pizza for
a main dish and dessert..."

>"Kiss me, I'm Irish"
>"Eat me, I'm Danish"

"this is too tempting.....but are you a low cal danish }:)? "


--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson
From: seawasp@vm2.cis.pitt.edu (The Mighty and Powerful Sea Wasp)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: schools re: Old Coots Test
Date: 27 Sep 92 17:09:10 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh
Originator: seawasp@pmax1.cis.pitt.edu

In article <1992Sep27.162224.23649@news.Hawaii.Edu> saiki@mpg.phys.hawaii.edu (L. Saiki) writes:
>Jim says:
>>:    Well, I have attended schools: Elementary was 1-6, junior high was
>>: 7-9 { with a graduation from 9th }, and 10-12 was high school. There
>>: was one school I went to that elementary was 1-7, jr. was 8 and 9th,
>>: and 10-12 was high school.

	The ghostly form of the owner of Intrauniversal Outpost 7
fades into view for a moment:

	"I never heard of such things. Amazing. I always thought the
school system arrangement was universal, at least within the US.
	"The school system I knew was: Nursery school; kindergarten;
Elementary school (first grade through fifth); Junior High (sixth
through eighth); and High School (ninth through twelfth)."

>kids from the 6th grade to 12th grade are not human but some abomination; 
>god's wrath or the devil playing some cruel joke on teachers.  

	"I'd say from the second or third grade through the twelfth.
But then, I'm speaking from personal experience with the demonic side
of them."

>The teachers at my high school used to label us by our class - Freshman 
>[or as one I-want-to-kill-her teacher always said: Frosh] <agonized

	"Was it just your teacher who said that? Frosh was the standard
term used by students where I came from -- especially by anyone who
wasn't frosh."

>scream>, Sophomore [the same <scream> English teacher always said:
>sophOmore], 

	"Well, how else WOULD you say it? (Aside from the way *I* 
always pronounced it: suffer-more..."

>Grinning nostalgically she is reminiscing back to the days she skipped 
>school to go out to really nice restaurants, that have since disappeared, 
>with her friends.

	"SKIPPED SCHOOL???? 
	"In HIGH SCHOOL? I mean, if you meant in college, okay,
I can see that, but how did anyone have enough money in high school
to afford to go to a nice restaurant... and how could you get OUT
of the school in the first place?"


				Sea Wasp
From: dirbze@doc.bmd.trw.com
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Cider 
Date: 29 Sep 92 09:09:31 MST

In article <1992Sep27.034219.12441@news.Hawaii.Edu>, saiki@mpg.phys.hawaii.edu (L. Saiki) writes:
> 
>>> [yummy apple-cider stuff deleted]
>>> 
> 
> Spacey wails cursing Dirbze for making her mouth drool with the yummy
> description of the juice that she will never REALLY taste in the near
> future.  She walks over to Mike and orders the hot-apple-cider-from-the-
> Inn-Montezuma, pays him for two glasses, and then walks over to where
> Dirbze is seated.  She sets the two glasses down and then chokes him
> jokingly.  
> 
> "This is for you!"  <smile>

<sip> Ahhhhhh!  Thank you!

> "Thanks for the recommendation.  The next time I do venture off the 
> island and decide to go to CA, I will try to stop by Colorado SOMEHOW
> and try some of that....oh, and of course learn to ski too!!  I think
> the shock of seeing snow for the first time will be quite immense, too!"

Hmmmm... I think I'd better warn you... Montezuma may not be the place to go to
learn to ski... granted, there are some nice trails, but they are really up
there - as in high altitude.  Montezuma is [if my memories serves] at 12,000 ft
[or about 3,700m if I've done the conversion correctly]... if you've never been
exposed to that type of altitude, it can be dangerous... while most folks
_only_ find themselves gasping for air, altitude sickness is *not* fun... it's
even been the cause of a few unwarranted deaths, simply because people were not
aware of the danger.

Now, if it's skiing you want..... [grin]... the place is right here in Utah, or
as they proclaim on the license plates... 'The greatest snow on earth'... deep,
dry powder... ooooo!  Now if this weather would just cooperate...

Hugs & Grins!

Dirbze!
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re:- Form Letters...
Date: 27 Sep 1992 17:09:10 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <1992Sep23.005226.22207@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU>, c188-cr@po.berkeley.edu (Huggie Bear) writes:
=C looks at yet another of the form letters, and muses
="Surely this is very strange,
=Or has my eyesight gone deranged?
=All the forms that've appeared of late,
=Do not any list a weight!!!
=
="Oh how weird and peculiar and can this be?
=Hobbies, Habits and Height for all to see;
=yet no mention of pounds, kilos or TONS!
=Does everyone weigh nothing, or a thousand and one????"

Stm replies to C
Struck by the insect's prosody
"I weigh .0001
Units are, the kiloton."
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: More old coot tests
Date: 29 Sep 1992 17:23:18 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <1992Sep29.164827.6939@ra.msstate.edu>, jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce) writes:
=>>Do you remember bomb shelters? When it was common for plans to be available
=>>for home bomb shelters, designed to protect just your family? (Yep. We
=>>never had one, but just about every magazine had hints and tips on how to
=>>survive the unthinkable).
=
=    "Yes, popular Mechanics printed several plans. Not to mention the dog
=   tags given to some elementary school kids in the US, the tags supposedly
=   would be able to stand a certain amount of heat so the kids' boddies could
=   be identified. And yes, they told the kids this. I wasn't in that, but I
=   was taught to 'drop-and-roll' to avoid the flash..."

StM opines, "Hmm.  You must be quicker than you let on.  Either that or
psychic.  The actual phrase was `duck and cover,' (as documented in
_The_Atomic_Cafe_, which is largely a compilation of old training films, with
some commentary thrown in) and the idea was to avoid the shock wave."
From: mort@quads.uchicago.edu (Dave Mortman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Speaker for the Dead
Date: 29 Sep 92 02:30:25 GMT
Reply-To: mort@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago

Mort approaches the chalk line with tears streaming down his face, hoists his
full glass and says:

"Arty, I didn't know you well but I'll miss you."

Mort throws his undrained glass into the fireplace..... *****CRASH******
and retires to his seat with a fresh bottle of Gentleman Jack.
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Reminicing about alt.callahans past
Date: 29 Sep 1992 01:48:59 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <Bv5pMo.Hs8@agora.rain.com>, feath@agora.rain.com (Feather) writes:
=Please, veteran Callahaners, could you share with all of us some of the
=greatest moments of this Place?

I particularly liked Danger Mouse's guided tours of Australia, the Universe,
and everything  (hey, DM, isn't it about time for the jacarandas to bloom over
there?).
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: regan1016@bestsd.sdsu.edu (T. ELIZABETH HARVEY)
Subject: Re: click!
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Organization: San Diego State University - Dept. of Redundancy Dept.
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 21:26:00 GMT

In article <122420127@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM>, daq@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom)          writes...
>In alt.callahans, trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski) writes:
> 
>> kitten has a great click! story for the group (a click! is when
>> something happens that triggers a great revelation--often about
>> sexism. i think the term was coined by gloria steinem).
>> 
>> the scene:  driving home from football practice (me, t.c. and lee--15
>> year old stepson)
>> 
>> lee:  a friend of mine took a military aptitude test today
>> t.c.:  how did he do?
>> lee:  IT WAS A SHE....YOU SEXIST SLIME!
>> (unfortunately the discussion of women in the military degenerated
>> into a discussion of a special forces group that only gets sent out
>> once a month...the PMS squad)
>> little things like this give me hope for the younger generation...
> 
>What gives you hope, that someone would refer to another on as sexist 
>slime merely for making a fairly innocent inference?  Indeed, perhaps these
>inferences need to go away, but the sexist slime remark is
>VERY indicative of the combative and militant self-righteousness
>that is common with almost all issues right now be they liberal
>or conservative.  

Please don't take this as a flame (I only play with fire in RL), but 
personally, I think the 'SEXIST SLIME!' remark was only some teasing by two 
teenagers.  That's how most people I know between the ages of 13-25 
communicate: jokes & insults (and yes, I hang out with rather unbalanced 
people).  The fact that both of them then start joking about PMS would seem 
to indicate that they were just playing around.

>Far from giving me the impression that there is hope for the
>younger generation, it makes me even more convinced that this
>nation will descend into internecine savagery, because the
>spirit of compromise and reasoned appeal cannot exist in a
>nation of zealots.
You have a point.  But I wouldn't worry about two kids joking around 
(CrossFire is another story, however) ... then again, I could be wrong.  
Political science majors have the ability to take a person on the opposite 
side of the ideological spectrum, eat them up for breakfast, lunch, 
afternoon snack, and then go in for a pitcher of beer with your heinous foe 
that same evening *grin*.
Not that I drink beer.  But you get my point. ;)

>doug

---<--<-{@ | "I believe that before all else, I am a reasonable human being,
Elizabeth  | just as you are -- or, at all events, that I must try and 
	   | become one." _A Doll's House_, Henrik Ibsen
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: brumby@nella11.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara)
Subject: Horse drawn deliveries (was Re: Old Coots Test)
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 01:38:23 GMT

   The brumby of course is always interested in anything to do with horses.

hollombe@polymath.tti.com (The Polymath) writes:
>"Heck, I think I'm one of the senior 'coots and _I_ didn't grow up with
>horse drawn delivery.

   "Well, they did stop a few months after I moved to the area. I was about
5, so that was 1972-3. I don't remember events that happened more than a
few years ago very clearly, never have."

> However, when I was living in London, England,
>there were still junk men cruising the residential neighborhoods on horse
>drawn wagons shouting "Any old iron?!?" at the tops of their lungs.

   "Hmm. Maybe I should ask my mother, who grew up a little way from 
Manchester."

>Some
>of the breweries still make local deliveries on horse drawn wagons because
>it saves them a fortune in vehicle insurance.

   "The big Melbourne brewery, CUB, keep a draft team for shows and such
like. When I was at the Royal Melbourne Show last week I was in the
Clydesdale barn when the team were led back in. One of them started to
chew on his lead rope while he was tied up and without thinking I flipped
the rope out of his mouth and rapped him on the nose. I think I've spent
too much tiem breaking horses of bad habits lately, I didn't stop to think
about who actually owned the horse!"

>"'Quaint' doesn't begin to describe it." (-:

   The brumby snorts at The Polymath. Lately he's been telling his wife
that he'll just get a pony cart instead of learning to drive a car. He
thinks it's a much more sensible idea.


-- 
     The Silver Brumby of          brumby@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
      the Silicon Plains

      The grass is always greener on the other side of the network.
From: clhoerth@david.wheaton.EDU (Cathe L Hoerth)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Making overtures...
Date: 6 Oct 92 00:40:04 GMT


	Ocelot looks over at Phee for a long moment, and ponders.  Then
she gets up and wanders oh-so-casually over to a table near her and sits
down.  Mike, who seems to be in on the scheme, tosses over a really cold
can of Dr. Pepper and a bag of M&M's, which she fields without even
looking.  Her gaze wanders over the room with apparent mild interest as
she puts her right ankle across her left knee and begins, terribly
absentmindedly, to fidget with her anklet, which begins to make a very
beguiling chiming noise.
	Phee hears the sound and glances over.
	Chime, chime, chime.
	Ocelot glances around and notices, apparently for the first
time, that she has caught Phee's attention.  She opens the M&M's and
gives the bag a look that clearly says "I'll never be able to eat these
all myself".
	Chime, chime, chime.  She tilts her ankle so that the silver
bells and links catch the light and smiles encouragingly at Phee.
	Then she waits.
	Chime, chime, chime.

					Ocelot
From: seawasp@vm2.cis.pitt.edu (Sea Wasp)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Colorful Phrases
Date: 3 Oct 92 12:24:23 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh
Originator: seawasp@pmax1.cis.pitt.edu

In article <1992Oct3.022624.19901@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca> aaron@space.ualberta.ca writes:
>"Here's my favourite, culled from the list of expressions for stupidity I once
>had the temerity to request on rec.humor.
>"His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

	I like that one but my favorite is from Calvin and Hobbes, in 
reference to Moe the Bully:

	"His train of thought is still boarding at the station."

	Running a close second are two from Groo the Wanderer:

	"He is... somewhat slow of mind."  (generally to be followed, an
hour and a half later, by the person in question suddenly saying "... and
just WHAT did he mean: 'slow of mind'?"

	And of course, the famous remark "Did I err?"  
	(Both of the above are often heard in  my gaming group)


                                 Sea Wasp
                                   /^\
                                   ;;;
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Date: 4 Oct 92 15:51:16 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

kitten is having the time of her life....liralen's birthday is the
perfect way to begin a celebration of the month of october...and she
thinks we can keep this party going for an entire month :).

she giggles and bounces a bit....a large feather has tickled her
nose... "ah HA!!!!!! i know what i was going to do," she
thinks...(kittens sometimes think very loudly...it's because the
think equipment doesn't get used much  :).

suddenly she disappears in a swirl of black and gold...dragging didi,
feather, SEA, kateri (who is lurking), and john (who is a good
planner) into a secluded corner of the meadow....

"hey, guys," she whispers, "we have a belated birthday to do...liralen
will let us annex her party, i think...but i need help...."

the women huddle...giggle...huddle some more...


--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: feath@agora.rain.com (Feather)
Subject: a feather from Feather
Organization: Open Communications Forum
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 05:40:25 GMT

Feather watches the folks around the bonfire, seeing so many of them offer
what they can to the departed one...

Feather feels a bit sad, for she is just a small gray bird.  What could
just a small winged one ever have to offer here?

She looks sideways at the sad ArchTeryx, who she had accidently neglected.
Hoping that a small something would be enough, Feather flutters in his
direction and lands close by.

The small avian preens one wing until she finds a loose flight feather and
pulls it out.   She places at Archteryx's feet.  

"Archteryx, could you please take this feather and put it into the bonfire
for Arty?  And for me?

Maybe just a feather can help Arty to be able to fly in the next world...
maybe be able to soar there with this small bit of my wing..."

-Feather
"Just a small gray bird of an unknown specie..."

 


Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: A Toast.
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 08:15:08 GMT

In article <u906451.718002517@bruny> u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien Saunders) writes:
>Upon getting his drink walks into the centre of the room"
>
>"I propose a toast."
>
>"To contact lenses"
>Drinks the whole lot down and throws the glass into the fireplace
>Sending a burst of flame up the chimmney.

Liralen tosses a shot glass that just held a B52 in it after his.

>Now, the problems with my newish contacts are that I still have difficulty
>removing them in the evenings and on last Saturday I spent 3/4 of an hour
>trying to put in the left lens.

It'll get easier.  I got my first pair of hard contacts when I was in 11th
grade, about 13 years ago.  I've only gone back to the glasses I'd worn
since 3rd grade when I've had problems with my eyes.  Went to soft lenses
about six years ago, and just changed to disposibles.   I've had more
problems with a combination of allergies and these disposibles than I've
had in the previous dozen years.

Had to wear my 1/2 inch on the side glasses for almost a month (I'm -7.0
in the left, -8.0 in the right with mild astigmatism as well) and couldn't
*believe* that I used to get by with glasses.  All that weight, glare, and
completely losing *all* my peripheral vision, not to mention having the
focal point an inch from my eyeball instead of in my eye.  It was
interesting having to adjust my focal length, and realizing that it
affected my distance perception sharply, especially at night.  Even while I
was supposed to have them out, totally, I wore them for my soccer games
because there was no way on Earth I was going to be able to play, do
accurate headers, and pass accurately on a reaction without the complete
vision that contacts give me. 

It was a little funny, when I was talking to a friend who I knew always
wore glasses.   I asked him, "How can you STAND to lose all your peripheral
vision like that?!" and he'd answered, "How can I miss something I never
had?" and then, after a moment of silence, "Hmmmmm... maybe *that* is why
contacts felt so weird when I tried them..."  

Have to admit, though, glasses provide great eye protection, but I find
that, for me, contact lenses are far more comfortable.  The neatest thing
is that if I get something in my eye, it's *easy* to just pull out the
lense, and the thing that got in there usually just follows the lense.  I
can then just rinse the lense off, and put it back in.  Without lenses,
it's *hard* to dig out something that's gotten in my eye.

The hard part, though, is always the transition.  The only thing that's
going to improve your times getting them in and out is going to be
practice, and I had a hard time of it when I first started wearing them,
too.  I guess I just wanted to say that, for me, it was *well* worth not
giving up.  

Good luck and I hope you find the comfort and advantages I found.

-----
Liralen Li
li@inigo.Data-IO.com
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: Song of Sixpence
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 07:28:24 GMT

In article <1992Oct4.231126.11219@waikato.ac.nz> rmarsh@waikato.ac.nz writes:
>  Stumpy tips his hat to Liralen (where did that hat come from?) and says
>in his best Bogart immitation (which is passable but not great) "It ain't
>over yet darlin'." 

She laughs and watches with bright eyes.  The wonders don't cease.

>He reaches into one of the deep pockets of the
>trench-coat that has appeared with the hat and draws out an ornately carved
>hour-glass. There are a few moments of appreciative oohs and aahs before
>someone points out "Hey! The sand's all stuck in the top!" Stumpy grins.
>"We just started daylight savings over here. I figured since I turned up
>late, it would be appropriate to give the hour I saved to the birthday
>girl." He smiles and hands the glass to Liralen. "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you!!!" she says and starts laughing... "And I can't of a better
gift or time to give it!"  Liralen studies the configuration and the sand,
"I've spent most of my spare time this weekend, between babysitting Shadow,
my soccer game this evening, and two real-time parties for my birthday at
my terminal.  This will come in *very* handily this coming week.  Without
this time, I may not be able to get to anyone that writes stuff after
tonight..." she looks a little sad.  But then she smiles and hugs Stumpy
back, "Thank you for a most appropriate gift."

>  He turns, the trenchcoat and hat fading rapidly and is about to walk away
>when suddenly he turns back. "Oh yes! I almost forgot... something else I
>recently discovered. After you've finished with the pot-stickers, perhaps
>you'd like a fortune cookie? I'd never seen them before... ah... your 
>birthday actually." He extracts a small bag from the pocket of the
>Technicolor Dream Shirt (tm) and hands that to Liralen too. "May good
>fortune follow you wherever you go." He smiles again and hugs Liralen 
>before moving off in search of Grant's candy apples...

Liralen happily accepts the bag from Stumpy.  She's always enjoyed fortune
cookies, even to the point of going to the International District in
Seattle and going to the fortune cookie shop to buy a bag of "Misfortune
Cookies".  It's a bag of about 25 fortune cookies that, somehow, weren't
folded before they cooled, and in the bag is also about 50 fortunes.  So
one could eat as much of the sweet crunchyness as one wanted and just reach
in and grab a couple of fortunes as well.

"Thank you for the well wish." she says and happily accepts the hug.

---
Liralen Li
li@inigo.Data-IO.com
Newsgroups: alt.callahans