From: olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Chip Olson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: bird on ice...  (LONG POST)  *>
Date: 23 Jan 93 08:09:08 GMT
Organization: Spam-On-A-Rope Inc.
In-reply-to: feath@agora.rain.com's message of Fri, 22 Jan 1993 07:16:00 GMT

In article <m0nFIdC-0001DMC@agora.rain.com> feath@agora.rain.com (Feather) writes:

[reluctant sacrifice to the ghods of bandwidth]

>Feather looks at everyone.  "I don't know...  Speaking for R-Crow
>directly now, I just want a perspective on it all.  I never talked about
>this before.  I have no one in RL that I can talk about this.  There is
>no place in RL I can go to about this.  But I guess, this is a unique
>Place..."  Feather smiles, "...to say the least..."

Castellan is rendered uncharacteristically silent by Feather's speech. He sits
and ponders for a long time before finally going over to her.

"First of all, I just want to express admiration of your courage... it must 
have taken a lot to write all that and broadcast it in a public forum.

"I don't know what I can offer you, except perhaps a bit of empathy... whaen
I was younger, I had exactly the same reactions to people who tried to reach
out to me.  I was the classic persecuted youth, and had built up such a thick
emotional shell as a result that it wasn't until my second year in college
that I considered myself free of it, and I feel the aftereffects to this day.
It was my involvement in the Unitarian youth group, more than anything else,
that enabled me to begin to shuck it off.

"Unfortunately, this is the biggest disadvantage of this sort of electronic
forum... I can sit here and type out my feelings on this, but I can't say it 
to you in person.  You mentioned your being unable to find motivation enough
to look for work... you might consider that getting work, finding something
to throw yourself into, may not only alleviate your financial problems, but
also help you get to feeling some real emotions again.  I think the biggest
thing you need to do is what I like to call "learning to be human", with all
the beauty and all the imperfection the word implies.  I don't think it's as 
much a matter of running across one really amazing empath as it is of finding 
someone or something that you can really care about. None of us is a perfect 
being; we all have our weaknesses and our blind sides, and if you can learn to
accept people for who they are, and more importantly accept yourself for who
you are, you will not only have taken a major step in getting your self-esteem
and your emotions back, but you'll be better able to withstand the individual
hurts we all go through without it ruining your ability to accept genuine
caring and empathy.

"I probably haven't made a whole lot of sense, and I don't know how this will
be received... but please know that I'm thinking about you, and I'm anxious
to see you get back on your emotional two feet.  I have an RL hug for you
should we ever meet there, but meanwhile, have this VR one."

*long, warm hug*



--
-Chip Olson. | olson@husc.harvard.edu | ceo@{gnu.ai,silver.lcs}.mit.edu
This article is a natural product.  The slight variations in spelling and
grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to
be considered flaws or defects.