From: shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller)
Subject: Re: Nanny sharing input wanted
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 92 23:44:28 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Distribution: usa

In article <l6rqcqINN6up@pollux.usc.edu> sudha@pollux.usc.edu (Sudha Kumar) writes:
>A friend of mine and I who had babies 3 months apart also toyed with
>this idea.  However, we did not actually do it since we live a
>distance away from each other... and I am glad we did not do it.  Anu
>goes to the daycare and for a L-O-N-G time had a cold. (For the past
>three weeks she has been fine !!) My friend is paranoid about germs
>and has been very uncomfortable about visiting us or having us visit.
>I just shudder about how things would have turned out if we had shared
>a care giver.  We probably would have destroyed our friendship.  Now,
>we just talk on the phone.  I do think that she is paranoid but can
>understand how she feels.
>
I agree with Sudha's comments about making sure that you have the same
sort of philosophies as the other person you share a nanny with.  I
think it's also important to share those philosophies with the nanny. 
If I had a friend who believed in spanking children, or a nanny who
did, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child with them.

However, I'm going to nitpick here a bit and take issue with the
comment about the friend who is paranoid about germs.

A number of times over the last 5 years, people have accused me of
being paranoid about germs.  People come to the office with colds
and flus, and act like I'm wierd when I don't want to hang out in
the hall chatting with them.  I went to visit friends one Christmas,
and the sister brought her 2 sons (who both had colds and were 
sneezing all over the place), and she thought I was antisocial when
I would spend long periods of time out of the room.

Recently, I was in a social situation where a woman kept coughing,
and when I started to move away, said "I *just* have a bit of a
cold!"  She acted like I was being incredibly rude.

I got a bad cold from the sons at Christmastime.  It's really lousy
to be sick during the holidays.  The woman who insisted that she
just had a cold gave me *bronchitis*.  The people who come in with
colds and flus give me about 5 colds and/or flus a year.

I have asthma.  While I may seem paranoid to some, why should I
have to deal with being sick, and having asthma on top of it (which
makes me more prone to colds and flu, not to mention more miserable
when I do get them) when the solution is simple: don't infect others
when you're sick.  If people must come in to work sick, why not stay
in their offices, and not go around breathing on all of their coworkers?
If someone has children who are sneezing cold germs all over, why
take them out to infect others?

I wouldn't want to share a caregiver with someone who would send their
child in sick.  This is why I'm trying to figure out a way to avoid
having to send my children-to-be to daycare.  I watch the same
coworkers who come in and breathe colds and flu all over me send their
children to daycare with the same illnesses.  I realize that sometimes
things can't be helped, but when I see people with weeks and weeks of
time off accrued in the office because they didn't want to take the
time off, I think that's incredibly rude.

After all, I don't want to take the time off, either, but will probably
have to do so when I get the cold or flu they couldn't be bothered to
stay home with.

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