From: ali@utrcv1 (ALI BABA)
Subject: Re: Iranian Men
Organization: United Technologies Research Center
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 12:57:52 GMT

In article <1992Aug13.154912.15618@ncsu.edu>, hernlem@che13.ncsu.EDU (Brad Hernlem) writes...
>stuff deleted
>*****
>
>Dear Ali va "hamnetoon",
>
>You write that "I don't know if it's because most of us lost our persian
>value and culture trying so hard to be an american or something else".
>It is my observation that often Iranians try too hard to change because
>they apparently believe that this is neccessary or desireable in order
>to live in the U.S. I am strongly opposed to this notion and think that
>it leads only to problems. People cannot change who they are and how are
>they to aquire a different culture than the one that they already know?
>Culture is something deep that is acquired from a lifetime of
>experiences and growth. It is not something that you can learn from
>books or the television or radio. You can observe from the outside but
>without being raised in a culture you cannot fully acquire it. Even
>being raised in the U.S. only exposes you to a particular segment of the
>culture of the society. I think that this problem comes up most
>noticeably when an Iranian couple try to raise children in the U.S. How
>should they raise their children? With the Iranian culture that they
>know or with what they presume to be American culture? I say stick with
>the values that you know. I was raised in a "religious" atmosphere. My
>parents thought that this was best and that is what they knew. Of
>course, this meant that we were significantly different than many
>families around us but thankfully my parents realized that it was more
>important to have some sort of values than to "fit in".
>
>Brad Hernlem (hernlem@chess.ncsu.EDU)
>
>p.s. to Peter. I received your mail.

Dear Brad;
Your parents were one of a kind.  It's like finding a needle in a haystack.
 I think America owes all it has today, to the faithful and hard working
people of the good old days like your parents.  Unfortunately, most of us,
as a foreigner only observe the appearance and do not realize it was only
faith and hard work that brought this country to what she is today.  I
think the failure for Iranian parents in here comes up mot often when they
expect to swim in dirty water and come out clean too.  In my opinion it
really doesn't matter where you were born or where you are from, because
the key to success in every aspect of life is religion and faithfulness to
our Holy Creator.  When you eliminate these, it really doesn't matter any
more about "Culture", because what is Culture without religion.  I think
you wrapped up the whole problem in a nutshell, and I give credit to your
parents for the upbringing that you were privileged to have.  All in all I
think this is the problem with not just Iranian's but the majority of
people who don't have a happy marriage or happy lifestyle.  True happiness
is not something bought or sold or found in culture, it is something found
in God almighty.

Sincerely yours;

Ali Eslami

 ***************************************************************         
 *  What we call the ills of life is due to our own ill-deeds  *
 *  And many of them are forgiven by god. This life is a stage *
 *  of convenience; Live true and resist all wrong, but learn  *
 *  the best way to do it so. On god rely; else no protector   *
 *  will you find. God revelation comes as a guide and mercy:  *
 *  It shows the straight way the way of god all-wise.         *
 *************************************************************** 

Internet = Ali@utrc.utc.com
Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian