HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: falling behind
Date: 1 Oct 92 01:09:34 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <1992Sep30.224204.12137@umbc3.umbc.edu> potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>pspeeve: that if i've gotten it wrong, someone, perhaps russ "i live for
>	these things" kepler will correct me.

ObPeeve: when folks get entirely the wrong impression of me from one
little piece of email.  It was a bad day, and a typo looked like a
typical net mistake, and I jumped early.  Sorry.

Ob!Peeve: At least *I* didn't say what banta did... whew!

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home
Will hack unix for food 		(.sig stolen from dt - sorry, dt)
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Belts
Date: 29 Sep 92 17:21:23 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu

In article <26347@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:

>=>Anyway, have you *been* to Texas?
>
>Unfortunately yes. As regular readers know, I spent five miserable years
>there. I actually *lived* there, unlike that famous Texas "resident" George 
>Bush.

Bush lived in Texas for quite a while. Just not really any more. He's
rightly concluded that Maine is a much nicer place to be, while shrewd
enough to know how to pay less in taxes.

By the way - I was in Texas for a grand total of about 22 hours, so
I have all the right in the world to make sweeping generalizations 
about it!

>And a couple of years in Taxachusetts

At least there's no tax on clothes here. And sales tax is less than
in other Northeastern states. Or you can go to New Hampshire quite
easily.

Peter!
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 14:02:59 GMT

In article <1992Sep29.133513.1815@cas.org> esp51@cas.org () writes:
>>
>     Excellent flame Elaine!  Indeed, you found my weak spot, namely
>inability to spell well.

No, Scott, Elaine merely found one of your myriad weakpoints which was evident
from your post.  My personal experiece is that it's more effective to look at
someone's post, notice that they are close-minded, ineloquent and barely 
literate (as you post showed you to be) and then comment on that as opposed
to saying something like:

>aristocracy.  What happened over the years?  How did you lose you
>upper crust status and become the dried out, skagged out, pox faced,
>400 pound, lower bourgeois techocrat that you are.  Sigh....

When you have no idea what the person you are flaming looks like.
You made the same mistake with me, when you called me blond, pimply
and pre-pubescent.  If you found my post offensive, surely you could
have found something within it to flame, rather than showing your
ignorance by making incorrect, missppelled assumptions about my 
sexual preference.

I'm impressed with your correct spelling of bourgeois. I'd be 
more impressed with your use of the word if it had any bearing on
Elaine's post.

Jenny

-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Kind of like hiding the knives
Keywords: Losers
Date: 7 Oct 92 00:40:43 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <1992Oct06.201345.23767@CS.ORST.EDU> tim@physics.orst.edu writes:
>I'd like to thank everyone for their recipes, Dan, Jenny, Al, and
>everyone else.  If I ever am close enough to visit any of you, maybe
>we'll go out to eat.

And here I haven't been able to list my mother's fave recipe: meat
on bread.  Maybe on the next go around.

>Curtis, the banana thing sounded kind of good, what was your mistake?

He didn't dip the bananas in a batter.  Try making a batter using
something like an beaten egg, 3 tablespoons (45 ml) each of flour and
cornstarch and a dash of the required salt.  Add about 1 tablespoon
(15 ml) of water and beat smooth.

Dip the banana into this batter and drop into heated oil (about 350F,
175C).  Wait until brown, about 20 seconds or so.  Eat.

>I did, for those concerned, succeed at lasagna last night; I've food for 
>a week.

That's the way to do it.  I worked as a (busboy then dishwasher then
cooks assistant then cook then sauce chef) at an Italian place while
in high school, and still can't make one night's worth of sauce.  Judy
won't let me shop - a couple of pounds of sausage doesn't look right
for sauce, so I usually compromise at 6 pounds.  I always start in a
saucepan and end up with the stockpot and having to run out for more
tomato(e) stuff.

Peeve: I'm hungry for "spun bananas" from the recipie above...

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home
Will hack unix for food 		(.sig stolen from dt - sorry, dt)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: McOlsen's Lutefisk Burgers -- one served.
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 18:00:50 GMT

esp51@cas.org (Granola-munching Bunny Hugger) writes:
>
>     Excellent flame Elaine!  Indeed, you found my weak spot, namely
>inability to spell well.

	Inability to provide a truly witty flame is another chink in
your armor.  Don't worry, it takes time and practice.  But, that's not
the point of this follow-up.

>General peeve:  Cows.  I drove through Kansas the other day, through
>the beautiful Flint Hills.  Countless miles of rolling prarie lands.

	Rolling prairie is beautiful?   Kid, either somebody's slipped
something into your tofu, or your idea of beauty is shared only by
bovines, rabbits, and the occassional prarie dog.  Get this: Kansas
is, for the most part, *BORING*.  Hell, even Iowa has more scenery,
not all of which consists of corn or soybeans either.  We have hills,
trees, roadkill, and even several rivers.  Ya gotta get out more.

>Can you get out of your car and walk around? No.  Its all fenced off
>with barbed wire by dick wad ranchers for their Big Mac Bovines.  I
>wish I'd had a rifle in the car.

	So do I.  Shooting those liberals isn't quite as challenging
as going after a pheasant or deer, but I'm sure the ranchers would
find you a suitable target should you start murdering cows.  Oh, did
you know cattle rustling is still a hanging offense in much of the
Midwest?  I suppose shooting the herd carries a similar penalty.
Go ahead and enjoy yourself -- the ranchers will.

>Since then (a month ago) I gave up
>all cow products including meat, milk, cheese.  Never felt better,
>lost 15 lbs so far.  Still can't spell though.

	Anemia suits you, and though diet has not been shown to
affect spelling ability I wish you luck in your new endeavor.  If,
on the other hand, you choose to flaunt your choice don't be at all
suprised if you are suddenly attacked by onbivores intent on
asserting their dominant role at the top of the food chain.

	I, for one, like to know the venison I ate for lunch was
once a living, breathing animal with all sorts of sentience and
full of enjoyment for life.  That the .50 gave it a sucking
chest wound, massive internal hemorrhage, and turned much of its
aterial matter into a fine red mist that slowly drifted against
the backdrop of a clear blue sky just makes it more tasty.  Really,
it was quite an experience.  A communing with nature, if you will.
You ought to try it sometime.  Bovines offer similar enjoyment
for those who can't afford deer permits.

--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Those damn MENTOS commercials!
Date: 26 Sep 92 07:24:21 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

(Laura Potler (GodawfulSmelly,FunkyCunt)) writes:
>speaking of ads of questionable taste... how come we see so many ads for 
>feminine hygiene products yet what about masculine hygiene products, hm??
>surely men are in need of similarly mysterious products. surely. at least
>banta, no?

That's it, Potler.  I would have effortlessly glided by your
comment, had you not tried to besmirch my goo ... my name.

I've already addressed this issue, probably sometime before your
arrival.  Here's how I replied to some bimbo from Bethlehem (my
birthplace):

()Hairy toads from Neptune made (Deborah Nilsen) say:
()>          Is it me or are those douche commercials  so stupid, you want
()>    to just go out and shoot the people who did the commercial! 
()
()It's just you.  Or rather where you live.  Bethlehem is basically a
()backward, blue collar, slum.  (Having lived there for numerous years,
()I can say that with some authority and without fear of too much
()retribution)  Here, in the south bay, there are Massengil displays on
()the counters at 7-11.  You can walk in and say "I'd like a Mountain
()Dew Big Gulp, a cherry Slurpee, and a large douche.  Unscented,
()please."
()
()Get with it, woman!  You can't even buy *beer* at 7-11 in Bethlehem.
()
()>    I'm sorry
()>    but I think that those people look too damned happy when they're doing
()>    that commercial.
()
()I see your point.  I don't think you'd see too many people saying "My
()crotch smells like the dumpster behind a sushi bar, but I haven't 
()lost my sense of humor."
()
()>          Both mother and daughter are both smiling and all of a sudden
()>    daughter turns to mom and says, " Mom what do you do when you get that
()>    not so fresh feeling?" And you know the rest of it. 
()
()No, I don't.  What does Mom say?  Chew Dentyne?  Use Arrid Extra Dry?
()Spray Lysol Disinfectant around?
()
()Actually, I understand.  It's just I don't think Standards &
()Practices would allow "Mom, what can I do to get Bob to go down on me
()again?"
()
()>    Those people should
()>    be nominated for an oscar, because it must take a good bit of control
()>    to say something and not laugh or turn re with embarrassment.
()
()Nah, you're just too easily embarrassed?  Transfer to Muhlenburg.
()The Moravians' sole contribution to the world, at large, is the 26
()pointed star.  Scarcely enough to base a religion on, let alone a
()college.
()
()andy
()banta@abingdon.sun.com
()--
()"Those who think elitism a bad thing merely idolize their being in
()the low end of the gene pool."

"Masculine hygiene" product are the wire brushes you can buy at any
hardware store, to be used after retracting the foreskin.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: Tue, 06 Oct 92 17:11:28 GMT
Organization: The Kitchens of The Hillman Hilton
Keywords: mmm, mmm, goooood cracker

In article <1992Oct06.005208.22550@CS.ORST.EDU> tim@physics.orst.edu writes:
>
> The group has been somewhat boring lately anyway, someone should post
> some recipes that actually work.  

Your wish is our command. We at the kitchens of the Hillman Hilton have
devised two courses of action for developing wonderful three-course meals.
Either of these is pefect for impressing mother or potential mates.

We'll begin with Lesson One: For Beginners, The Three-Word Instruction
                             Three-Course Meal

1. Go to your local supermarket or convenience store, scanning the
   shelves for anything with three-word instructions for preparation.
   Examples include: * Heat 'n' eat
                     * Serve 'n' enjoy
                     * Open th' box

2. Buy three of these items.

3. Remove from original container and  serve on plate for added romance
   and fun. In the words of Repo Man's mom, "Put it on a plate, Otto,
   you'll enjoy it more."

Lesson Two: For Advanced Students, A Three-Course Meal Involving Advanced
            Direction Following.

1. Go to your local supermarket or convenience store and purchase the
   following:        * Cereal
                     * Milk
                     * Spaghettios
                     * Pepsi
                     * Nacho Chips
                     * Salsa (or Picante Sauce)

2. Rub your hands together with glee; you've got the makings of some
   good eats right here. Can't you feel the power? 

3. The first course: Cereal with Milk. Pour cereal into bowl (it doesn't
   matter if the bowl is clean, the cereal will cover anything up). Pour
   milk on top of cereal. Serve with spoon. Mmm mmm, yum in the tum right
   here, yessiree, Bob! If you don't have any bowls, be sure to buy the
   Kelloggs Variety Pak so you can use the internationally acclaimed
   Kel-Bowl.

4. The Second Course: Chips 'n' Salsa/Picante. When the creal is finished,
   unscrew the jar of salsa and pour it into the bowl. Dip chips in salsa
   and eat. Pretty cool, eh? Just like those swanky folks at all the Love
   Boat receptions are doing.

5. The Main Course: Spaghettios 'n' Pepsi. Heat according to directions
   on can. (Conversely, you can just spoon the stuff right into your
   mouth without heating it, but I only know one person who does this.
   Strangely, she's actually a rather good cook.) Add salt 'n' pepper
   for that exotic flavor. Serve in the salsa bowl, or conversely, 
   remember the Bachelor's Credo: It's in a container already, what the
   fuck should I mess up *another* container for? Serve with Pepsi.

-- 
We've replaced the fine baby Jesus we normally use with Folgers crystals.
Let's see if they notice the difference.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: corporate slime 
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 15:06:53 GMT

Last night the PBS teevee showed "Roger and Me", once again reminding me
about the corporate zeroes who seem to be running this country. In
case you haven't seen this flick, it is an "amateur" documentary about
Flint, Michigan, as GM closed all its plants there. The town was left
virtually high and dry, with the worst unemployment rate in the country,
as GM went to Mexico for the $.70/hour labor rates. The Roger in the
title was Roger Smith, head of General Motors at the time.

The shorter sequel, "Pets or Meat" was also shown, which returned to Flint
a couple of years later to see the recovery. The title was taken from a hand
lettered sign made by a woman who was selling rabbits, mice, and rats to
exist. She also had a part time job at Woolworth's, but her $67 takehome
(gross minus $22~ deductions, if I remember correctly) was garnisheed to
pay her bills as part of the bankruptcy settlement. (Rabbit was meat for her.)

We also got to ride along with the sheriff as he evicted people from their
homes, and witness the futile efforts of the chamber of commerce to try to
attract tourism with multi-million dollar white elephants in downtown Flint.

Apparently the scene in the first movie where the lady petted, talked to,
and then clubbed to death, skinned, and gutted a rabbit had injured 
several "sensitive" folk. The sequel had an equally shocking scene showing
a python killing and eating one of her live rabbits. 

And, perhaps the scene I enjoyed the most in the sequel was a short, terse
exchange between the film maker and Pat Buchanan.

"Larry Bob" Evil Cowboy Engineer says: check 'em out, peevers!

L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Abecedarian insult: "Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, 
dasypygal, excerebrose, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous,
kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, 
quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, 
wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning, zoophyte!" -Peter Bowler
From: nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca (Mark Nesdoly)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: speed trap
Date: 5 Oct 92 18:59:32 GMT
Distribution: alt.peeves
Organization: University of Saskatchewan

Yesterday, Toronto city cops decided to not issue speeding and seatbelt 
tickets because the provincial government is trying to force them to fill out
a full report every time they draw their weapons.  

Peeve:  I will not be in Toronto to take advantage of this lapse in the law.

-- Mark
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: MacDonald's Food ( Was Re: Boss Peeve
Keywords: Peace Is Our Profession
Date: 30 Sep 92 19:10:44 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <lch0ejINN3as@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

[regarding militant vegetarians whining about Mickey Dee's]

>The company seems to represent a composite of all the usual societal boogey-
>men to these folks: artificiality, massive beef consumption, environmental
>"insensitivity" <gack>, etc., etc., ad nauseum.  One of these guys (some
>Stanford type) even went so far as to label it a "deathkultur."  



Don't knock them too hard, Mister Mayor. When I was in Taos and rapidly
pumping up the local Native American (Ob-PC) economy, I did not adequately
budget myself for food. I trotted down to McD's for food. I braced myself
for the horrid mayonnaise-laden sliders they ususally serve and was
delighted to see that they had a perfectly edible salad selection thanks
to consumer demand for less dead-cow-soybeans-and-grease cuisine.

Thanks to the rabbit...er...rabid veggies and health nuts, I was able
to eat cheaply without that leaden greaseball in the stomach feeling.

One genuine peeve about those places is those fries. THey contain some
magic pheromone that makes a person feel hungry. I have walked in with
friends (not to buy stuff, but to keep said friends company) after full
meals and have gotten hungry from the scent of the fries. 

I don't know if it is my Irish heritage ( internal SpudFinder radar)
or weird chemicals in the air, but it reminds me too much of my days
when I er "inhaled" and got the munchies.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I just couldn't take the green brain carpet, so I had to kill it."
					-R. Hep
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Rewriting History
Date: 26 Sep 92 19:50:04 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca (Mark Nesdoly) writes:

>I read in the paper yesterday about a guy in the U.S. (New York I think, but
>I'm not sure) who is trying to ban the bible from his children's school.
>His reason:  it contains too much violence, sex, sexism, etc. etc. etc.
>What a fucking loser.

Christ no. This is a fuckin "A" piece of subversion. My congratulations
to the guy. Keep us posted on the results dude.....

>Let's give his name to all the Jesus freaks out there,
>so they can disembowel him.

Hell, if yer gonna be that fuckin uppity why not crucify the dood? I see
things haven't changed much in the last coupla thousand years. Still,
give 'em my name too. I'll piss 'em right off.....

>-- Mark

FoFP

"And if jesus does come back, we should repeat the experiment under
scientific conditions...."
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.folklore.urban
From: jlysagh@hubcap.clemson.edu (james joseph lysaght)
Subject: Re: McDonald's and the IRA (Re: Big mac's and students)
Organization: Clemson University
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 15:55:57 GMT

padutton@joseph.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:

>In article <9209301504.AA03236@client47.comlab.ox.ac.uk> Alan.Crowder@prg.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>>
>>Whats more i no longer take my daughter for a treat at McDonalds now
>>i have found out they donate money (yours and mine) to the IRA.
>>For those of you who dont know the IRA, well they are a terrorist
>>organisation in Northern Ireland fighting for freedom supposedly.
>>In excess of 7m dollars last year.

As do The Knights of Colombus, the Catholic Church, United Way, and many
MANY other reputable charites.  Do not blame the charities though... the
IRA has proven itself very adept over the years of obtaining aid from
organizations that did not realize they were supporting a violent
terrorist group.  The only time I ever saw someone openly collecting
"for the IRA" was at a Knights of Colombus meeting.  He did not get
much. 

>In any case, this brings up a related peeve: Protesters at St. Patrick's
>Day parades who hold up signs saying "Give Ireland Back To The Irish" and
>such, not caring that the average participant doesn't care for much more
>than finding the next mug of green beer. And that the IRA are a bunch
>of twits. And I'm Catholic, so I can say that.

I am Catholic also and you are polite, the IRA is worse than twits.

>Of course, when it comes right down to it, I'm sure that there is enough
>twittitude to go around for both sides, as in most conflicts.

Isn't this always the case?

>Peter!

>(Give Ireland Back To The British!)

Give Ireland back to the Druids!

Jim
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Curiosity (was Re: Moving)
Date: 26 Sep 1992 06:42:41 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

(Geoff Miller) writes:
>arguing with some country-dumb old 
>biddy at the phone company.  He eventually got his service restored, but
>he had to wear her down to do it.

Ok, this was going to start out as stupid little play on words that
tickled my mind as I read this.

Then I realized that I wasn't at work, with my handy-dandy Armenian
Hemorrhage dictionary on the shelf.  I swiveled my chair around and
scanned the bookshelf.  "Certainly," I said to myself, "there's a
dictionary here."  Sure enough, on the third shelf (from the top or
bottom, take your pick) I spy the Funk&Wankels Encyclopedic
Dictionary, vintage 1966.

I flip to "wear," in an effort to donate some depth to this smirk.
After flipping the first page on the lengthy, pithy antecdote
regarding this word, a new peeve has sprung to my mind.  To wit:
"Encyclopedic" dictionaries that bury the fucking definitions in
lengthy, pithy antecdotes.

For those who've been holding their breath, I was going to ask Geoff
if his roomie "wore" the woman, as in donning a garment, or "wore"
her as in eroding her.

If you'll excuse me now, I'm going to go stoke the fire.  It isn't
the least bit cool in here, but I've located this house's
quintessential combustible.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore
Newsgroups: alt.peeves