HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: A toast
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 19:12:46 GMT



>Jammer walks to the bar, and puts a coin from a foreign land on the bar.
> He orders  the strongest cup of espresso available, and walks to the
>line.

>A toast, people.
>On January 8, 1975, I became Private Harwood, and Scott Coffee became
>Private Coffee.
>On March 31, 1975, I became PFC Harwood, and Pvt. Coffee became PFC
>Coffee.
>On June 1, 1975, I became Coporal Harwood, and PFC Coffee became
>Corporal Coffee.
>On or about July 15, 1975, Sergeant Abrams ended his life in a manner
>unbecoming, and Cpl Coffee became Sergeant (acting) Coffee.
>He then had the distinction of being the youngest acting E5 in the 2d 
>Infantry Division.
>Untill then, we had shared the distinction of being the two youngest
>corporals in the Republic of Korea.

>The time is now 0500. At 0500, 17 years ago, Sergeant (acting) Coffee 
>came Shooting Star 6.
>Seven of us left on patrol. 
>Six of us came back, one on a stretcher, and two walking wounded.
>Shooting Star 6 had stopped on the way back to become a legend.

>This toast is actually early, Shooting Star 6 lived untill New Years
>eve, but I can never sleep during the time Shooting Star was in the
>field...

>Next year, if we are all still here, I will tell you how Shooting Star 6
>became a legend.

>scott, it's no mistake that I toast you with the strongest coffee I can 
>find..
>i am here because you are there. have you ever thought about trading
>places?

>Jammer drinks his mocha, and walks to the fireplace, closes his fist,
>and quietly crushes the glass.

>He then turns to the bartender, hands him $1, and asks for another
>mocha. When he is served, he takes 100 one dollar bills out of his
>pocket, sets the mocha on them, and directs the bartender to keep the 
>mocha hot untill after January 2nd. 
>In case scott finds his way home.
>Jammer wraps his hand in a napkin, and walks out into the snow.


kitten lifts her glass, drinks, and flings it into the fireplace...

"to scott!"  she slips out the door and puts an arm around her
newfound friend.

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"love is the wild card of existance"
                          rita mae brown

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: The world, and what it'd be like...
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 1 Jan 1993 07:08:39 GMT





>Jammer walks through the door, flushed from the snowfight, just in time
>to brush past Darkshot, and hear Dreamweaver's toast.

>"Out, eh? Where was the wee one when the MEN needed him, answer me that!

>Mike! My mocha, if you "

>and stops dead in his tracks. 
>He takes two soft, tentative steps towards the bar, and gazes into
>Sgt Coffee's mocha.
>He picks it up, and turns slowly around. He looks at the assembled
>patrons, 
>and then slowly, carefuly, turns the mug upside down.

>Nothing comes out.

>He steps to the fireplace, and places it carefully on the hearth, in
>front of the flames.

>He steps back to the bar, and picks up his mocha, and steps to the line.

>"My new friends, I give you Callahans.
>A place where I can loose track of where I am,
>A place where while I don't live here, Warrior roams free,
>A place where Wee Wenches are brave enough to bop my nose,
>A place where it's not neccessary to be afraid,

>and then his voice breaks, ever so slightly, as he says,

>And at last, a place where it's possible for Sgt Scott Coffee
>to return from patrol."

>Warrior roars.

>Jammer drinks, and throws his mug in a straight hard line at Sgt Coffees
>mug. They both explode into the fire.



kitten stops in her tracks....she has no pizzas to deliver at the
moment...and only one drink.  she takes it, lifts her glass to the
return of sgt coffee and to jammer....

"to miracles.....i always expect them and they always happen...."

<crash>
--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"love is the wild card of existance"
                          rita mae brown

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jammer@eskimo.com (Lyle Harwood)
Subject: Re: From Feather's other half (was Re: boo
Organization: -> ESKIMO NORTH (206) For-Ever <-
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 12:17:54 GMT

Feather (feath@agora.rain.com) wrote:
: >>"Well, kitten, we could start calling you 'wench' more often if you
want.  We
: >>could even make that your official net.alias, or at least add it
after conan
: >>the librarian.  How far are you willing to go with this 'wench'
thing?"
: >
: >   "I dunno, a lot of people might find adjusting to the new name a
bit of
: >a 'wench'. Still, if a nut like you can't torque her into it..."
: >
: >   The brumby prepares to bolt.
: 
: Suddenly a big rainbow wing feather with writing on it drops from the
rafters
: and lands flat in front of where Feather is sitting.  "Yeep!" goes the
startled
: Feather, who then reads the writing.  Suddenly the small gray avian
puts one
: wing over her eyes and groans.  "Ohhhh, nooooo, R-Crow, PLEEEZE don't
make me
: say this... pleeeeeeze...!"
: 
: There is a small but noticeable rumble of thunder in the rafters just
above
: Feather. "Ok, ok, ok!" says the gray avian, who then turns to the
patrons.
: "It's a message from my RL self.  She says that if she ever opens a
tavern,
: it would be called the Rainbow Crow-bar..."
: 
: Feather PK's the rainbow feather, "kicks" it back to the rafters where
it
: came from, and yells upward: "Nice pry!"
: 
: -Feather (one exasperated little bird)    

Jammer yells
"Designate target one Alpha Bird, designate target two Bravo Brumby!
More ammo, Wench! All gunners fire at will!
Stand by to repel Birders!
This guy is a Card!
He should be DEALT with![A[B
From now on we have him marked!
He's only got about half a deck!"

Jammer dives under the table, taking a full bowl of anti bird nuts with
him.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk (Clive Grace)
Subject: Re: Definition of "monogamy"?
Reply-To: cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 12:28:00 +0000


> MonTemplar spots the new arrival, and smiles to himself. This newbie is not so
> new to him, firstly because of the mark of CIX, which MonTemplar himself bore
> before becoming a member of the Demon Internet posse, and secondly through
> reading said newbie's writings in various publications in a previous
> incarnations (when A&B Computing still stalked the shelves :-) )

Aye, that was many years ago my friend. I've come a long since then, 
and you remember my first writing job... Goodness.... I'm Impressed! 
But shouldn't that be 'Stacked' the shelves rather than 'Stalked' the 
shelves... as in nobody bought the damn thing!
 
> MonTemplar steps up to the Bar and doffs his hat to the newcomer. "Welcome to
> Callahans, sir Tanais. It's good to see another CIXen in here. My name in here
> is Kimberley MonTemplar, a sometime regular visitor to this place."

Mary... told me about you MonTemplar... and indeed the name that 
bears this message rings a bell as well. Thank you.
--
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| When I grow up, I want to give up being   |cliveg@cix.compulink.co.uk|
| a Journalist and learn how to write...    |                          |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
|       Bisexual knitter of quality and distinction since 1992.        |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jason)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Hats
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Date: 22 Dec 1992 16:46:20 GMT
Organization: the Polyhedron Group
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aaa.uoregon.edu

In article <1h7v5qINNs7t@newsman.csu.murdoch.edu.au>,
keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!) wrote:
> "I did wear a Dutch fisherman's hat for a while, which I think is somewhat
> similar to the Greek fisherman's hat which Jason wears.  Unfortunately
> that got damaged, and I haven't worn it for a while."
> 

Jason takes off his Greek fisherman's hat and looks at it a while. "Y'know
Splash!, I suppose I really should describe this hat. They're somewhat
common here on the West coast of the United States, but I shouldn't take it
for granted that everyone knows what it looks like. A few weeks back,
Pegasus and I were in a department store, both wearing this style of hat,
and mismatched but dark, sort-of uniformish jackets. The clerk asked us
what kind of hats they were. When I told her, she asked in all innocence
'Oh! Are you fishermen?'. Arrrrgh!"

"Here's what a Greek Fisherman's hat looks like. Picture a band about an
inch high, wrapped around the wearers head, with a short bill or brim in
front, sort of like a baseball hat, the width of the hat and about an inch
and a half long, front to back. The top of the hat is a cloth oval, a bit
larger than the hat band and oriented in the same direction. It is attached
to the band by a ring of cloth, which is about an inch and a quarter high
at the front, and about three quarters of an inch high in back. This cloth
top is not stiffened, although the hat band and bill are fairly stiff. The
band usually has a leather liner, and the cloth inside the hat is usually
lined with satin or smooth cloth. There is almost always a knotted or
macrame band of cord that runs around the back edge of the brim, and is
attached to a cloth-cofered button on each side. This is sort of an
atrophied chin strap, that is no longer functional on most hats of this
type. The exterior of the hat is usually all one color, made of wool, or
cotton courduroy, or denim (Ive also seen a few in leather). It is often
decorated around the band and on the top of the bill with embroidered trim,
where the trim and embroidery are the same color as the hat. Or, rarely,
the trim is a contrasting shade of a similar color. (Like a dark blue trim
on a light blue denim hat)."

"There you are. More than you ever wanted to know about that kind of hat."

Jason
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: bshsiung@quip.eecs.umich.edu (Bernard Hsiung)
Subject: Re: Dancing (was Quantum/Zen/Beliefs)
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 1992 15:58:46 GMT

Not well, and not as much as I would like, but I learn fast.  *grin*
(poor balance - good recovery - that's my physical skills in a nutshell...)
--
Jedi Squire-in-Training (bshsiung@eecs.umich.edu)
From: schweppe@acs.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: wonderful life
Date: 26 Dec 92 07:41:45 GMT
Organization: Boston University, Boston, MA, USA

kitten writes:

>kitten sniffs and wipes her eyes...."the movie 'it's a wonderful life'
>always does this to me...i love jimmy stewart and this is one of my
>favorite movies...
>
>anyway, this movie, as you all know, poses the question: what would
>the world be like if i had never been born?  i sort of experienced
>this first hand, like jimmy stewart, when i was not conscious for 16
>days... it was like i wasn't in the world...

Merlinvin's curiosity is piqued.  "My friend, I have never had the
misfortune to be unconscious for so long - could you tell us, perhaps,
where you thought or felt you were, if not in the world?"

>                                             but, of course, the world
>was still here.  i often think about what the world would be like if i
>had died, instead of recovering...
>
>...my ideas and opinions on this change, depending on my mood.
>however, 8 times out of 10 i come to the conclusion that i have an
>important place in the world...that it is a better place because i am
>here.  (the other 2 times i think either that a) nobody would miss me
>or b) that at least iwouldn't hurt anyone....but that goes away
>quickly) 

"Only 8 times out of 10?  Well, I guess that just shows you're not
perfect, unlike Saint Liralen."  (ducks quickly)

"Seriously, you've got a whole Place full of friends who have been blessed
by knowing you, sharing your wisdom and basking in your love.  If you're
even half as great a person in RL, you've got even more friends and loved
ones out there."

"The hardest part is convincing yourself of this truth on those dark days
when nothing seems to be working and all those you love are too angry,
or too busy, to take the time to tell you how lovable and loved you are.
I thank God for this Place, where *somebody* always has a shoulder and a
warm fuzzy for the wounded in spirit."

Merlinvin offers kitten a drink, a hug, a backrub and an earscritch as
appropriate, not necessarily in that order.

__________________________________________________________________________
Ed Schweppe o/k/a Merlinvin - schweppe@acs.bu.edu,
    (or for faster replies)   eschweppe%drcoa1.decnet@drcvax.af.mil
All standard disclaimers (also datclaimers and deotherclaimers) apply.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk (Mary Branscombe)
Subject: Re: A Callahans Carol
Reply-To: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 01:06:00 +0000


"Jason! Thyra! Where *have* you been!"
Mary MerryTail wanders over with a very smiley Christmas hug and 
thanks.
"Jim - I prescribe LimeRoot tea and a warm bed. Get well soon"
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| Ommmmmm, said the lift                    |maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk |
| Organisation: Me? You're joking, right?   |maryb@cix.compulink.uucp  |
|I know I type "teh" for "the" My fingers have their own accent ;-)    |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
From: ekho@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (amanda rothman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: The pair does the limbo
Date: 22 Dec 92 21:37:30 GMT
Organization: Cybernet BBS, Boca Raton, Florida


  Ekho suddenly starts moving again, abruptly nodding at Jason and 
turning to Gecko-boy with a nasty grin on her face.  Amanda lets out a 
sigh and exclaims, "That was rather scry!  Thanks for the visitation,
Gecko-boy.  I think things are starting to work again..."

  Ekh comments, "It's your primitive technology; it didn't take to my 
laser probe very well...  I'll have to work on that.  I heard a rumor 
about some atrocious punning going on.  Perhaps it is just as well 
that we missed it!"  She pauses, looking at what she just id, "See what I 
mean?  This technology is absolutely full of bugs!  That's it!  I'm 
getting out my Rid-X!!"

  Amanda shouts, "Duck, everyone!  Line noise ahead!"

                Yours in Time and Space
From: mwasson@nyx.cs.du.edu (mike wasson)
Subject: Re: prejudice
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 92 18:18:44 GMT

>Abner nods.  "Just heard one a few days ago.  I think it's funny, but
>there's definitely a few sharp edges to the joke ...
>
>WARNING:  If you are easily offended, stop listening now!
>
>'Did you hear that the gays in San Fransisco are organizing themselves
>to defend each other from attack?  They're going to call themselves the
>Pink Panthers!'"
>
>Abner holds his chin and waits.

Gecko-boy frowns.  "I'm not offended, Abner, just confused.  That *is*
what the gay+lesbian self-denfense organization is called, at least
in New York City. I guess this could be considered an example of gallows
humor -- the gay community picking a somewhat self-deprecating name
to deal with a serious problem -- but it's not a joke as in the sort
with a punch-line."

--
Mike Wasson (Gecko-boy)          |   U Hawai'i/Fat Messiah Games
mwasson@uhunix.uhcc.hawaii.edu   |   #include <std_disclaimer.h>           
mwasson@nyx.cs.du.edu            |   "What th--? Web in my eye?!?"
From: narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: 1993
Date: 3 Jan 1993 22:16:34 GMT
Organization: UH Dept of Math
NNTP-Posting-Host: casc.math.uh.edu

jammer@eskimo.com (Lyle Harwood) writes :
>Now you know who Jammer is. Who are you?

Well, that's a good question. In RL, I am Noah Ramon. (Oh, you want more?)
I work at Brown Book Shop in Houston, Texas (and this is a good way to get in 
touch with me in RL) selling technical books, standards and other tech 
documents. I mean, if you want ANSI/ASME B16.25 (Buttwelding Ends, the scariest
standard I have ever seen), you call us. I am a student to be, going to
University of Houston in approximately two weeks. On weekends (usually, not 
often enough), I run lights for a local band called Beans Barton and 
the Bi-Peds. When they aren't playing, I am either reading, watching a movie, 
working on the computer, listening to music, or any number of other things.

Physically, I am about 5'9", usually dressed in pants of some sort (jeans, 
slacks, god knows what else), a T-shirt bearing some band's logo or odd 
slogan, sneakers, black trenchcoat, black fedora, and backpack. I wear glasses
(horribly nearsighted) or prescription sunglasses depending on the position of
the sun and my wish to make people nervous. I will sometimes make an effort, 
and appear in full regalia : Black pants, black shirt, black vest, black 
trenchcoat, black fedora and sunglasses. When I am in that state, I tend to
look ominous, at least until I open my mouth. At that point, any sort of 
menacing aura that may exist just throws up its hands and calls it quits. My
coat and backpack can have anything in them, including books, videotapes, CDs, 
tapes, cans of carbonated beverages, LOTS of yo-yos, pens, and sometimes a 
two-liter bottle of soda. (This last one is only in the backpack, by the way.)
I may or may not have a beard, depending on how much the damned thing is
irritating me today. (I can't stand shaving, but dislike the beard. 
Great, huh?)

Paradoxically, my greatest method of relaxation is to dance in a frenzy for a 
few hours at a local club (see my second job). I have been given a healthy 
respect for live music, and indeed find it hard to compare recorded stuff
to live favorably. My main musical style is "pub rock" : Brinsley Schwarz, Nick
Lowe, Dave Edmunds, Rockpile, Elvis Costello and stuff like that. I also 
appreciate just about anything else someone tells me I need to hear. 

I tend to remind people of Woody Allen, only with a lot more adrenalin in
my system. Now, I'm not "on" all the time, but I could be classified as 
easily excitable quite well. I tend to flip from subject to subject in a
very free associative method, much to the detriment of those talking with me.
I also gesture quite often, using my whole body to make various points.

Any other questions?
--
*******************************************************************           
* Noah Ramon - The Bi-Bulb     * Your only limitation is your own *
* Mail to : narxtc@math.uh.edu * imagination - Beans Barton       *
*******************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: dbriggs@zia.aoc.nrao.edu (Daniel Briggs)
Subject: Re: Hullo...
Organization: National Radio Astronomy Observatory, Socorro NM
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 92 20:32:56 GMT

In article <1992Dec31.184413.20735@atlantis.uucp>
  aaron@atlantis.uucp writes: 

>"Hello, Gazer," Alfvaen says.  Depending on whether or not Gazer is at the
>New Years Pizza Party, Alfvaen is or is not dressed in a scanty gossamer
>outfit adorned with strategically-placed shells.  "You know, your name
>sounds vaguely familiar.  You didn't happen to be a resident of HoloMUCK,
>did you?  I spent some time on there, but I don't have direct Internet
>access anymore, so I can't telnet, and thus can't Muck...ah, well.  I'll
>buy you a drink.  Wench, bring Gazer a drink."  kitten hastens to comply.

"That would have been me, Alfvaen.  I've used the name Gazer on a number
of MUDs and MUCKs over the last two years, though lately I've taken to
using my other real name, Daniel.  I think I remember running into you
on Holo, in fact.

As you look at Dan'l, for just a moment you think that you see something
different than the usual jeans and sweater.  He seems to be covered with
light blue fur, from a nice sky blue on his bare belly gradually darkening
to a midnight blue stripe down his back and improbably long tail.  His
general shape reminds you of a ferret, though the proportions aren't quite
right.

Dan'l continues drinking his beer, quite oblivious to your momentary
hallucination, though he does catch your eye for a moment and winks for no
particular reason.

"I make no claim on the name, Gazer.  Glad to have you aboard.  You're
already floating in drinks, as is the entire bar at the moment, or I'd
offer another.  Take a rain check, if you'd like.

"BTW, DM, I've got my tickets and visa in hand, so it looks I'm off down
under next week.  I should hit town Friday morning.  Pity I missed the
fireworks, though, as they sure sounded pretty!

-- 
| Daniel Briggs  (dbriggs@nrao.edu)                      |  USPA B-14993
| New Mexico Tech / National Radio Astronomy Observatory |      DoD #387
| P.O. Box O / Socorro, NM 87801   (505) 835-7391        | 
Support the League for Programming Freedom   (info from lpf@uunet.uu.net)
From: schweppe@acs.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Aaaarrrggghhh!
Date: 26 Dec 92 07:37:52 GMT
Organization: Boston University, Boston, MA, USA

It's late at night on Christmas Day as Merlinvin enters the Place, with
a somewhat harried expression on his face and various hardcopies of "man"
pages falling out of his satchel.

"An eggnog, Mike, if you please."

"Friends, you may notice that my account has moved.  Seems the old
butyng.bu.edu address was for a summer school course; once the fall term
ended (on Christmas Eve Eve!), the summer accounts were summarily
executed."

"Fortunately, I was able to find a new home on acs.bu.edu (although my
name was changed to protect somebody or another), so I still have access
to the Net and thus to the Place."

Merlinvin turns to the fireplace.
"To sysadmins!  You can't live with 'em; you can't net without 'em..."

<<crash!>>

__________________________________________________________________________
Ed Schweppe o/k/a Merlinvin - schweppe@acs.bu.edu,
    (or for faster replies)   eschweppe%drcoa1.decnet@drcvax.af.mil
All standard disclaimers (also datclaimers and deotherclaimers) apply.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Solstice healings
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 05:36:28 GMT

 "What did I do today in my High Guard position ? I concentrated
Star Energy to Protect this circle of healing. For I am not only
a StarShip, but in one particular dimension I am a Star !" Linda the StarShip.

 "I drummed and and hummed on key for I have True Pitch !" Robbie, who is
a powerhouse of strength and energy. 

 "And I let energy flow though me and danced for time immemorial, 
for I am both a part of, and outside of, time !" Dreamy Jim, who 
is a Dream Dancer.

{ Time is not a barrier for us three, so we were indeed active at 
  the correct Time. }

    { No, I did not forget 9:43 AM EST. }

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.