From: esti@quads.uchicago.edu (Paul A. Estin)
Subject: silly verse so as not to be too serious
Reply-To: esti@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: U. Michigan Cognitive Psychology
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 04:04:56 GMT

Snark walks in, "Took me a while to get around to posting this...
wanted to clear it with some friends first. I don't *think* anyone
will mind here, either."  He shakes his head, not believing he's
posting bloody *poetry* to the net.  "I've been corrupted by
humanities types.  Anyway, complete with intro..."

---
Well, it was late at night, and I was mulling over some thoughts I'd
been having about several friends, most notably some in the U. Chicago
Bisexual Union, having a slight but noticeable tendency to "conform to
their nonconformity."  Suddenly, the phrase jumped into my head,
"Pardon me for being so het."  Filled with a burst of late-night
silliness energy, I penned the following poem in an attempt to explain
my thoughts in a humorous way...


"Please Pardon Me for Being So Het (Letter to a Bi Friend)"
by Paul Andrew Estin  8/19/92
with thanks to "Iambic Tetrameter Man" Mike Schiffer on rhythm
dedicated in friendship and mutual respect to all my bi friends


Please pardon me for being so het,
I'm still quite open-minded yet.
It's fine with me if *you* are bi,
But *I* don't wish to fuck a guy.

It's fine, you can be nonconformist,
And not just be a culture norm-ist.
But please don't ask me, "Why not try it?"
I *know* myself, and I don't buy it.

Guys may be *cute*, but bed's not immin-
-ent; see, I only sleep with women.
Though watching guys may make some stiffer,
Just please respect me, if I differ.

Before, you made a tough decision,
Thus breaking with a culture's vision
Of what a person "should" be (Babbitts
With only "proper" sexual habits).

Becoming free (though persecuted!),
Perhaps you then went on, concluded,
"I've learned of 'normal' to be wary--
Are not *all* mores arbitrary?!"

And then, you having so decided,
Perhaps, I fear, you then derided
All those who differed-- "They're just frightened!
Conformists... need to be enlightened!"

(Perhaps there was a different point,
At which we came so out of joint,
Like, oh... sexual exclusivity,
On which I stated my proclivity.)

It's true, I know, that many people
On spending much time under steeple
Attack you.  Sure, you fear and hate them.
I understand.  (*I* wouldn't date them!)

But you know I sleep in on Sundays!
(Surely I'm not like the fundies!)
I'm not ruled, sheep-like, by decree.
I've *thought* things out-- we disagree.

For I've decided on my own,
Though other lifestyles I *condone*,
I have my way.  It's not "religion"--
It's just a personal decision.

So when you meet me, don't be blinded,
And don't assume that I'm closed-minded,
Don't hate or pity different voices,
Respect that I've made different choices.

Please pardon me for being so het,
So "normal."  (*Grin*).  I am quite set
In how I live (as you are, too).
Just "live and let live."  Fine with you?

-----
	You are right.  And, as a totally impartial observer, I'll
pick a fair and equitable weapons form for you all to use.  I think
hand grenades in a locked closet should do the trick...
- vnend@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (D. W. James)

Paul Andrew Estin, net.Snark, r.a.c Welcome Poster, HoloMuck Chancellor,
  Fellow of the Clementine Society, UCSFC First Consul/ Keeper of the Slinky
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