From: david@marie.stat.uga.edu (David Gundlach)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: need DEC- or IBM-type error messages
Summary: for humor
Keywords: dec ibm mainframe vm error decode indecipherable
Date: 11 Apr 92 21:15:51 GMT
Organization: University of Georgia Statistics Department
Originator: david@marie

Hi, folks!

I was telling a buddy about the strange and (for me) difficult to
understand error messages that one can get on a DEC or IBM mainframe
system (running vm, mebbe?  way out of my league...), and he hadn't
ever seen any examples of such things.  In case I'm being too vague,
they look something like E-DSKIOPRB for a disk io problem error...

I thought that I had some-- probably posted in this group-- but I
don't.  The list I saw was really funny, and I'd like to be able to
give him a copy, as well as have one for myself.

If anyone out there has such a beast, could you mail it to me?

Thanks a bunch!

ObPost: Just in case nobody's seen it before, here's a list of
forgotten assembler commands from an enhanced assembler :-)


:-D
--
David Gundlach				david@marie.stat.uga.edu
System Support and Integration		david@rolf.stat.uga.edu
UGA Statistics				david@castor.cs.uga.edu
University of Georgia			david@groucho.dev.uga.edu
404/542-3289 or 404/542-5232		BITNET: statuga@uga

"I think, therefore I am wrong." -- 	me


  
                   Forgotten Assembly Language Commands
                                          
                                          
   BBT      Branch on binary tree         PD       Play dead 
   BBW      Branch both ways              PDSK     Punch disk 
   BEW      Branch either way             PI       Punch invalid 
   BH       Branch and hang               POPI     Punch operator 
   BMR      Branch multiple registers              immediately 
   BOB      Branch on bug                 PS*      Punch obscenity 
   BOD      Beat on drum                  PSD      Pause and smoke dope 
   BOI      Byte operator immediately     PVLC     Punch variable length
   BPDI     Be polite, don't                       card 
            interrupt                     RD       Reverse directions      
   BPO      Branch on power off           RDS      Read sideways 
   BST      Backspace and stretch         RIRG     Read inter-record gap 
            tape                          RPM      Read programmer's      
   CEMU     Close eyes and monkey                  mind                   
            with user space               RSC      Read and shred card   
   CLBR     Clobber register              RSD      On read error self 
   CLBRI    Clobber register                       destruct     
            immediately                   RSTOM    Read from store-only  
   CM       Circulate memory                       memory 
   CPAR     Crumple paper and rip         RWCR     Rewind card reader      
   CRB      Crash and burn                SHAB     Shift a bit             
   CRR      Convert to Roman Numerals     SHLBM    Shift a little bit        
   CU       Convert to unary                       more                      
   CZZC     Convert zone to ZIP code      SMR      Skip on meaningless 
   DC       Divide and conquer                     result 
   DWIMNWIS Do what I mean, not what      SOT      Sit on a tack 
            I say                         SQSW     Scramble program        
   DMPK     Destroy memory protect key             status word
   DNPG     Do not pass go                SQPC     Sit quietly and play      
   DO       Divide and overflow                    with your crayons
   EIOC     Execute invalid opcode        SRSD     Seek record and scar
   EMPC     Emulate pocket calculator              disk 
   EPI      Execute programmer            SRZ      Subtract and reset to 
            immediately                            zero 
   EROS     Erase read-only storage       SSJ      Select stacker and     
   EXOP     Execute operator                       jam                    
   EXPP     Execute political             STROM    Store in read-only        
            prisoner                               memory                    
   FSRA     Forms skip and run away       TDB      Transfer and drop
   GFD      Go forth and divide                    bits                   
   GFM      Go forth and multiply         UER      Update and erase        
   HCF      Halt and catch fire                    record                  
   IBP      Insert bug and proceed        WBT      Water binary tree 
   IIB      Ignore inquiry and branch     WEMG     Write eighteen-minute     
   LCC      Load and clear core                    gap                       
   MBF      Multiply and be               WPM      Write programmer's      
            fruitful                               mind                    
   MLR      Move and lose record          XSP      Execute systems       
   PBC      Print and break chain                  programmer 
                                          
Newsgroups: rec.humor