From: payner@netcom.com (Rich Payne)
Subject: Re: Male Men Bashers
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 17:26:48 GMT

In article <1993Jan23.024210.22089@leland.Stanford.EDU> farthing@leland.Stanford.EDU (ljf) writes:
>In article <1993Jan20.012450.17072@intacc.uucp> zerobeat@intacc.uucp (Ferenc Szabo) writes:
>>Janice, I wish every woman would think as you do.  Unfortunately, in the 
>>sphere of people I happen to run across, the stereotype of the woman with
>>the self centered abusive/mysoginst asshole is prevalent enough make me
>>depressed sometimes.  I even know of woman who stick with their *physically*
>>abusive partners through thick and thin.  These men typically have something
>>about them (i dunno....nice car? money? idunno) that I suppose makes them
>>desirable (good bodies? good cooking? idunno).  Virtually all of these men
>>that I might talk to in private refer to women as 'them bitches' or other
>>derogatory terms.  THey *know* that they have this 'charm' or whatever it is
>>to "get the babes".  
>>
>>About 4 years ago I think I almost became brainwashed into thinking that
>>YES, perhaps if I was a jerk like these other guys then women would pay 
>>attention to me.  But then instructional wisdom reasoned out that I might
>>not want to be close to a woman who would be attracted to an abusive SOB
>>anyway.
>>
>>What I am trying to say is that it is not totally unfounded for many men
>>to perceive that women DON'T like 'nice guys'.
>>
>>363 months on this planet and still optimistic that there are many more
>>women like Janice out there.............
>
>Oh, come on!
>
>And women don't see men out with women who are pretty and nothing
>else?  I bet I can find a "nice girl" woman for every "nice guy" man.

>I know plenty of great women who are looking for men only to be told
>they're too fat, or too old, or too educated, or not pretty enough to
>be considered dating material.

It sounds like you are re-stating the material about the jerks [by definition
male]. 

BTW, "great" is an opinion. I know many great women who I would not find
desirable as a mate.
 
>I also know men who seem to choose women who will screw them over.  I
>had a male friend who was crazy about a woman.  

If a woman chooses abusive man, the men are held responsible. If a man
chooses abusive women, who gets the blame? This one is easy.

>                                                On their third date,
>she said that she wasn't enjoying the date and would prefer to have
>stayed home alone.  Then to add insult to injury, she said that she
>really was interested in dating this other man.  He took her home.
>Did he stop calling her?  Did he say, "What a bitch!  That's the last
>time I'll call her!"?  No way.  He kept asking her out and, if she
>didn't have anything better to do, she kept going out with him.  After
>hearing this lament from him for a couple of months, I finally asked
>him why he kept asking her out.  Because she was so pretty and how
>impressed his friends were with her (and him).  

I know of a similar situation. Two in fact. Essentially these are nothing
more then personal decisions, even if they have negative aspects. 



Rich

payner@netcom.com



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