From: rwarren@vax2.concordia.ca (RAW) 
Subject: strange behavior follow-up
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Concordia University
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 17:50:00 GMT

hello again,

first of all, i want to say THANK YOU to all who wrote or posted with 
regards to my problem.  some of your msg's moved me to tears.  there must 
be hope for me if there are people as nice as you folks out there.

i did not post my full e-mail address because i have gotten into trouble 
recently for reading the news network on topics other than work.  however, 
the full address did leak through, so i will not try to disguise it this 
time.

>You have not said anything about why you *want* to have a relationship
>with this guy, except that otherwise you will have no one.

a valid question, thank you laura.  first some background to the answers:  
i am an only child, and grew up with no friends.  ("friend" is
defined as someone who wants to talk to you and associate with you 
without wanting the answer to #3.)  i have never had anyone to pal around 
with, besides my mother and (late) grandmother, whom i have always lived 
with.  (i am now 23.)  anytime someone would be friendly with me, it was 
usually to obtain something, like answers to homework or help with what 
they want.  as soon as i would want anything out of the relationship, the 
person was gone, off with their own group of friends, where i would not be 
welcome.

i want someone who will do the following for and with me (in no particular 
order):

-- go on dates together (see definition of "date" in my previous article)
or get together on a more casual basis.  (once every two weeks, i would 
think, should be the absolute minimum.)

-- spend time with me talking and listening about any topic that comes to 
our minds

-- is not afraid/ashamed to put their arms around me and kiss me

-- help sop up my tears (because the slightest little thing makes me cry, 
especially these days ...) without making fun of me or shaking me (another 
of my "boyfriend's" patented techniques)

-- is interested in a long-term (read:  lifetime) commitment, forsaking all 
other romantic interests.  for the time being, THIS DOES NOT MEAN MARRIAGE.

-- can put up with my mother.  (not necessary for mother to approve of 
THEM, but does help my fragile emotional state immensely.)

-- will not consider me a notch in their bedpost/belt, to show off, use and 
then throw away like kleenex.

absolute requirement:

-- must never have attended school or worked with me (because i was 
literally ostracized in school and co-workers would only talk about work)

society respectfully requests that this companion be male, however "nice 
guys" were either eaten up by the dinosaurs or washed away by the flood.  
(you pick your flood date:  Montreal's great flood was in 1987, but i'm 
sure noah and the gang are just as appropriate.)

how to meet someone that fits this description is not the point of this 
post, as i am sure a whole discussion group could start up around this.
suffice it to say that i have great difficulty meeting people in montreal 
who fit the 
above requirements.  i have been alone and miserable all my life, except 
for a few happy moments when someone other than my mother cared.  but as 
soon as i would try to get close to another person, they would snub me and 
leave me.  the three words most likely to destroy a relationship are I LOVE 
YOU -- and i never say them until i mean them, especially when they 
represent the beginning of the end.

please feel free to pick apart my reasoning, either publicly or by e-mail.  
i agree with all of you in that i deserve better than sunday (yes, that's 
his real name, on account of being born on a sunday)

"I just want you to recognize me in the temple ..."
	Michael Jackson, "Jam"

Rosemary Warren         rwarren@topaz.concordia.ca
Montreal's Favorite Jacksonmaniac !!!
Newsgroups: soc.couples