From: seanna@bnr.ca (Seanna Watson)
Subject: Re: How about changing 'difficult' to 'challenging' ?
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 18:32:50 GMT

In article <1992Aug12.172115.8985@adobe.com> riggle@adobe.com (Kathleen Riggle) writes:
>In article <1992Aug12.134052.9410@crd.ge.com> dudding@sallyride.NoSubdomain.NoDomain (Kate Dudding) writes:

>>I found the term 
>>'challenging' much nicer than 'difficult'.
>>
>>I also have a challenging nephew who has a perfect older sister.  
>>For me, they're both very enjoyable kids in their different ways. 
>
>I'm sorry; I didn't see the original post, so this may not be
>appropriate, but it does followup what Kate is saying.  I just
>recently picked up a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary
>Sheedy Kurcinka.  She has labeled children that are considered
>"difficult" as "spirited".  She basically says what Kate has said: that
>labeling a child positively is better than "difficult" or "intense"
[...]
>It describes the difference
>between spirited children and children with ADD.
>
>There are also a lot of positive traits of spirited children.
>Perception, for example.  They hear things and see things that pass
>other people by.  This explains in part why they don't always "hear" a
>parent; they are having to decide what is more important; the message
>from the parent of the bell they hear ringing outside.

I would agree wholeheartedly!!  I have this book, and was just on the
verge of posting about it.  I found it very useful in dealing with 
my somewhat spirited 7.7yo and my "classic textbook example" of 
spirited 5.5yo.  One thing I particularly like about the book is
the recognition that that the behaviours that cause
so much annoyance to parents and teachers of spirited children are
frequently considered admirable when exhibited by adults (in an adult
manner of course).  It also has practical suggestions for improving
relationships with spirited children without repressing their potential.
The book suggests that the children don't like their disruptive 
behaviour any more than those around them, but they need to learn 
other ways to respond to situations that bother them.  (One problem 
with spirited kids is that things bother them that don't bother most
other people--for example, Nicky has a long attention span for his 
age, and detests switching activities before he is ready.  This has
caused problems for him when he was in a structured kindergarten 
environment with an unsympathetic teacher.  His behaviour frequently
mimics ADHD if he is unhappy with a situation.)

(BTW, after reading a review of this book, I decided I had to get a
copy.  (My first thought was that someone had written a book all about 
Nicky!)  I phoned a local bookstore, and asked if they had it.  They
told me that they had not received any new religious books lately. 
I later talked to the manager, who apologized for the employee who
could not tell the difference between "spiritual" and "spirited".
(There is, in fact, absolutely *nothing* religious about the book.))


-- 
Seanna Watson   Bell-Northern Research, 
(seanna@bnr.ca) Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Opinions, what opinions?  Oh *these* opinions. | It's hard to seize the
No, they're not BNR's, they're mine.           | day when you must first
I knew I'd left them somewhere.                | grapple with the morning.