HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Purveyor of Fine Bezoars)
Subject: Re: I just gots ta
Organization: The Church of Mr. Whipple
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 17:36:45 GMT

In article <0gmjghj.gooley@netcom.com> gooley@netcom.com (Markian Gooley) writes:
*In article <1992Apr4.213242.14965@uwm.edu> terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net) writes:
*>oh, great.
*>ladies and gentlemen and the rest of you,
*>this is my ride home on Tuesdays.
*
*Can't be any worse a driver than I am.
*
*Mark., as she oughta know; she won't even speak to me any more

After what you did to the flag of Ireland, I don't blame her.


Mark "Heard the whole story" Lippert
From: john@csrnxt1.ae.utexas.edu (John R. Schutz)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Boy, am I *HUNGRY*
Date: 14 Apr 92 03:33:52 GMT
Organization: Those wacky, wacky fellas at UT's CSR

Gorging through suppositories.  To some it's an obsession, but to me
it just makes good, good sense.

							john
--
| John R. Schutz                     | Email&NeXTmail:                       |
| A learning NeXTie                  |		john@csrnxt1.ae.utexas.edu   |
| (512)328-0587                      | "We are all victims of dead men."     |
| 3009 Hatley Dr., Austin, TX  78746 |          -Charles Fuller              |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,soc.culture.arabic,soc.culture.indian
From: gchacko@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (George W Chacko)
Subject: Re: ON TAMIL NADU CM & TALK OF TERRORISM ON THE NET
Keywords: RAPE, MURDER, ARABS, CANIBALISM
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 23:49:50 GMT


> Also,I would like to remind that this is a group for peaceful discussions. 
> If there IS any more talk supporting violence or terrorism, PROPER 
> DISCIPLINARY MEASURES will have to be enforced, including reporting to 
> the respective universities OR organizations.

Doesn't work that way. You're in no position to enforce anything on the net.
While I appreciate your sentiments 'PROPER DISCIPLINARY MEASURES' has me
up in arms. :-)

George
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (The one who never put away the Brown Staircase)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Biggest Fungus in the World
Date: 7 Apr 92 12:57:31 GMT
Distribution: talk
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom


    Q.Q. is visiting.  She told me that the New York Times had an
article last week about a single fungus in Alabama that covers something
like fifty acres and has been alive since the end of the last ice age.

    Can anyone email me some details?  I'll summarize if there is
anything to summarize.

p.s. this is all true

--

        A woman does NOT like a CLUMSY, FUMBLING man with an ICE PICK.
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: gooley@netcom.com (Markian Gooley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: a list, a list, aw shit, a list
Keywords: Ow
Date: 8 Apr 92 02:41:41 GMT
Article-I.D.: netcom.smqj9la.gooley
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)

In article <1992Apr7.200313.10866@gould.encore.com> dlwilson@fenix.encore.com (David L Wilson) writes:
>After my little injury last week, I was forced to come up with the following
>list of responses:
>

Let me guess.

The L. stands for Letterman.

Mark., groan
gooley@netcom.com
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:10628 soc.culture.arabic:1899 soc.culture.indian:13790
From: oueichek@imag.fr (Ibaa Oueichek)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,soc.culture.arabic,soc.culture.indian
Subject: Re: ON TAMIL NADU CM & TALK OF TERRORISM ON THE NET
Keywords: RAPE, MURDER, ARABS, CANIBALISM
	  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Date: 9 Apr 92 12:17:32 GMT
Followup-To: soc.culture.indian
Organization: ENSIMAG, University of Grenoble, France

In article <1992Apr07.134057.164132@cs.cmu.edu> anwar+@cs.cmu.edu (Anwar Mohammed) writes:
[stuff about removing this discussion out of s.c.a]

  I second Anwar, And i feel outraged and disgusted when i read the keywords
in this post.  I've edited the followup to remove s.c.a from the discussion,
PLEASE, WHEN YOU ANSWER TO ANY MESSAGE EDIT THE FOLLOWUP AND REMOVE S.C.A
OUT OF THIS DICUSSION.
  To the guy who associates Arabs with rape, murder and canibalism : You are
a sh*th**d, people like you make me vomit. 
-- 
Sham(u) ya tha (s)seif(u) lam yaghib(i) | Ibaa Oueichek. ouicheck@imag.imag.fr
    Ya jamal(al) majd(i) fi(l) kutub(i) | LABORATOIRE 	BULL-IMAG
Kablak(i) (t)tareekh(u) fi thulmaten    | Grenoble. 
    Baadak(i) staula ala (sh)shuhub(i)  |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov ( Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Good names for heavy metal bands
Originator: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center And Storm Door Company
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 13:58:33 GMT

I was replacing some Varian/Eimac transmitting tetrodes last night, and found
the following warnings on the sheet that comes with them.  I think that there
are many good names for heavy metal bands to be found in this paragraph:

WARNING-- SERIOUS HAZARDS EXIST IN THE OPERATION OF POWER TUBES
The operation of power tubes involves one or more of the following hazards,
any one of which, in the absence of safe operating practices and precautions,
could result in serious harm to personnel.

a. HIGH VOLTAGE--              Normal operating voltages can be deadly

b. RF RADATION--               Exposure to RF radation may cause serious bodily
                               injury possibly resulting in blindness or death.
                               Cardiac pacemakers may be affected.

c. X-RAY RADIATION--           High voltage tubes can produce dangerous, 
                               possibly fatal X-rays.

d. BERYLLIUM-OXIDE POISONING-- Dust or fumes from BeO ceramics used as thermal
                               links with some conduction cooled power tubes
                               are highly toxic and can cause serious injury
                               or death.

e. GLASS EXPLOSION--           Many electron tubes have glass envelopes.
                               Breaking the glass can cause an implosion which
                               will result in explosive scattering of glass
                               particles.  Handle glass tubes carefully.

f. HOT WATER--                 Water used to cool tubes reaches scalding
                               temperatures.  Touching or rupture of the
                               cooling system can cause serious burns.

g. HOT SURFACES--              Surfaces of air-cooled radiators and other 
                               parts of tubes can reach several hundred degrees
                               centigrade and cause serious burns if touched.

Additional specific information is provided below, but I am not going to
type it in.
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: fields@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Matthew Fields)
Subject: #'OE9d(P0^Lg@ICM
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
 !GV lA(*hI.$OU^S0AahTZ9T]sgkbB wHH li_4/ iAv,oaf!>{i0JnZDouka-jH% P1Z^lo 1gmjgTtih}B;3F],Gt<:; |Elo!6oUkAyIuI'Og?pZ39L{cC$y"QL<!3IPAE,D.L 8WR[]Y%P<1EIXQOPD,>?
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 04:22:15 GMT

Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:10925 alt.religion.kibology:1600
From: klm@gozer.mv.com (Kevin L. McBride)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.religion.kibology,alt.julian
Subject: Re: bonk
Keywords: bonk
Date: 11 Apr 92 14:57:22 GMT
Organization: GhostBuster Central - Southern NH Usenet Access, Nashua, NH

lstewart@watserv1.waterloo.edu (L. Stewart -- IS      Office 1058) writes:

> In article <BM44GL.L3F@world.std.com> kibo@world.std.com (James 'Kibo' Parry) writes:
> >In article <1992Apr2.220007.16582@watserv1.waterloo.edu> lstewart@watserv1.waterloo.edu (L. Stewart -- IS      Office 1058) writes:
> >>KIBO WILL SEE THIS.
> >
> >
> >Will not.
> >
> >Will *PLONK*.
> >
> >You may buy Band-Aids at the front office for a nominal fee.
> >								-- K.
> Two dead guys canned eggs for the orifice international tree.

Two heads buy grams of drugs for the official emotional spree.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,soc.singles,alt.sex,alt.peeves
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: More helpful Hints
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 23:18:33 GMT


Irregardless how syntactically, or semantically correct,

Never start with:

"And Now to Do the 'Sex Stuff'."

ciao
drieux

ps: if you have to ask, feel free to, its how we all learn.


-- 
EOT 
No More Written InPut 
Why are you Looking Here?

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gypsy@alembic.acs.com (cupid's six-guns)
Subject: Re: ideal talk.bizarre newsreader/killfile
Organization: the rain dogs
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 09:00:53 GMT

In article <1992Apr9.213416.19040@tigger.jvnc.net> richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH) writes:
>Just what THE FUCK are YOU?  WHO THE FUCK are you to
>judge ANYFUCKINGTHING??!!  What have YOU ever done for THIS PLACE
>besides St. Terri, which is neither ORIGINAL nor all that much of a 
>CHALLENGE??!!

is that green tinge in your cheeks jealousy or gangrene?

post not, lest ye be judged, you candy-assed sniveling
little twerp.  if you can't take the heat, don't stick
your head in the oven.  you're so vain, you probably 
think this post is about you.  it is better to remain 
silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove 
all doubt.  sha na na na, sha na na na na, get a life.

m
-- 
minerva burst from joves head with a helluva yell but that does not prove 
that we should stand in awe of every case of mastoiditis            archy
From: bhoughto@hopi.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: first date taboos, taboos,...
Date: 6 Apr 92 07:03:31 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp, Chandler, AZ

In article <1992Mar28.235249.672@desire.wright.edu> dhoward@desire.wright.edu (sparky-desire) writes:
>here staring across the table at the biggest fucking nose i've
>ever seen in my entire life.  i've seen noses before, but your
>wonker would shame a labradore.  and we wouldn't even be here if
>you didn't have firm buns.

Faggot.

				--Blair
				  "Where's Bill Clinton when
				   you need a Real Man with
				   a Wife You Want to Boink?"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: waldbyjf@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Gribbett Schnibbett)
Subject: Re: FACES OF DEATH
Reply-To: waldbyjf@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 16:47:39 GMT

Oh by the way, fuck you Leonid Stewart

--
Death Himself
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Acid
From: amnio@batpad.lgb.CA.US (Amniocentesis)
Date: Tue, 07 Apr 92 17:42:03 PDT
Organization: The Batchelor Pad

efudd@GeoWare.COM (Elmer Fudd) writes:

> jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
> 
> > And from the fact that she did not describe the verdict in a funny Scots
> > accent we can conclude that men never drink heavily and never abuse
> > either their spouses or children.
> 
> I certainly hope that you're not claiming that Scots drink heavily and
> abuse their families, fuckhead.  Do us all a favour and take your fist
> and ram it up your ass.

Is GeoWare the same outfit that produces that Windows clone for XT PCs?

I would have never guessed that Elmer Fudd had a hand (hoof?) in that
package.



--
the dot end
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mycroft@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu (Charles Hannum)
Subject: Re: Why You do NOT let TheMorallyKorrupt Program
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: None.  Utter chaos.
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 06:57:08 GMT


> Can anyone comment on the rumor that GNU is working on a new feature
> called "naughty bits"?

I thought SVR4/ES (and other "secure" Un*x systems) already had those?
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: middle@cse.uta.edu (William J Middleton)
Subject: when
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,hershey.hiway
Summary: what 
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, Univ. of Texas at Arlington
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 16:14:58 GMT


tonight

i post.

bILL
From: davidv@yang.earlham.edu (Live from the Twilight Zone)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Greetings fellow future men
Date: 13 Apr 92 08:56:52 GMT
Organization: ECMLVDC

In article <1992Apr8.054133.8287@cs.rose-hulman.edu>, cavemanb@stonehenge 
(Caveman Bob) writes:
> Me rub two stones together.  Me make time travelling message.  You send back 
> soon.   
> We have good here.  Lots of dinosaurs and big monsters.  Ok, I see you later

	Is anyone surprised that this caveman posts from Rose-Hulman?  Hands 
   up, now.  Didn't think so, somehow.  Rose-Hulman, and indeed all of 
   Indiana outside of the colleges, is pretty stoneage.

---
David "Hee-mo" Vacca, Realistic Hoosier.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.prose
From: whoami@hostname
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Its raining
Date: 10 Apr 92 07:20:32 GMT
Article-I.D.: hostname.3


Its raining outside.

I don't often feel like this, no, I do, I just don't exult in it
Yes I do.

The air is cool and warm, my body is hot and cool at the same time.  The
air is still and crisp and I can smell everything, the wet the grass the
road the cars the buildings the trees

I feel completely alive -- I want to run away from the lights and be in
the dark and wet I want to run and run and run through the night

I can feel every muscle in my chest and legs. My arms feel heavy and
powerful and my hands clench and unclench. My hands feel like unbalanced
weights at the end of my arms, ready to move in any direction. Every
muscle in my body is tensed and flexing and hot. I grind my teeth together
feel the pressure of my jaw

I want to kill to feed to attack to bite and tear

I sprint with sheer joy of movement and power I am fear and death and I
glory in it I can feel my heart beating fast and hard

the rain is cool/hot on my skin the beating of the drops sensation

there is nothing out here but me everything is hiding everything is afraid

I lock all of my muscles and scream at the sky there is nothing but me

I want to find it, the hot blood and fear squirming away grab and strike
and bite, crunch of teeth through flesh sinew horror/ecstasy hot blood
flooding my mouth

I cannot find prey I can only run and jump and scream bloodlust

After a time my joy/rage cools, and I can think. I am still power, still
killer. I feel the rain on my face, I stare at the sky with my teeth bared
I run and run and run I am tireless my muscles are hot and alive and the
rain is cool I wish for lightning and thunder.  power

Eventually I head for home, I feel I am radiating energy and heat.  I
stand tall and walk fast all my muscles clench and unclench my eyes burn
through the rain

I love rainy nights

whoami@hostname
From: hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: job ads we'd like to see
Date: 9 Apr 92 17:15:50 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware

Wanted:
Disgruntled and disillusioned recent graduate with
background in dead languages, usenet and ancient
history.  Indolence is a plus.  Salary takes the 
form of housing, food and all the compact discs
one can carry.  Only alcoholics need apply.
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: ST AUGUSTINE
Date: 8 Apr 92 22:23:55 GMT
Article-I.D.: tigger.1992Apr8.222355.26020
Followup-To: your broken down kitchen at the top of the stairs
Organization: JvNCnet, Princeton University, NJ
Originator: richh@tigger.jvnc.net

I did it.

RICHH
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com (James Woodyatt)
Subject: Re: Nickname suggestions
Organization: Space Systems/Loral
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 22:14:38 GMT

In article <1992Apr8.143210.984@cs.odu.edu>, dise@fog.cs.odu.edu (Aegis) writes:
|> My suggestion:  MAVEN.  It's pronounced like raven, only with an 'M'.
|> I don't have a dictionary handy, but as I recall it's similar in meaning
|> to 'wizard' or 'master'.

From the American Heritage Dictionary

	`maven' (also `mavin) n. A person who has special knowledge or
	experience. An expert. [Yiddish meyvn < Heb. mebhin]

Seems pretty ostentatious.

Kinda catchy, points for originality.

But dumb.

Not as dumb as most I've seen in the mail, so you don't get a 100 line
flame. All you get is a kindly reminder that the you should cut the
arteries in your wrist in a motion parallel to the bone, rather than
with a perpendicular slashing motion.

Thanks for the suggestion.

-- 
James Woodyatt  Space Systems/Loral   Palo Alto, CA   bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com

``And when he dreamed his ears drooled thirty weight engine oil
He took personality tests and stapled them to his lower lip''
				    --Stan Ridgway,
				      `Jack Talked (Like A Man On Fire)'
From: fmayhar@altair.mpd.tandem.com (Frank Mayhar)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: way too fucking long -- anagrams
Date: 14 Apr 92 21:05:58 GMT
Reply-To: fmayhar@mpd.tandem.com
Organization: Tandem Computers (MPD) Austin, TX

I'll take "Cow Nut Golfing" for 1000, Alex.
-- 
Frank Mayhar  fmayhar@mpd.tandem.com
              Tandem Computers, Inc.  Micro Products Division
              14231 Tandem Blvd., Austin, TX  78728    Phone:  (512) 244-8969
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: paul@ascent (Paul Foley)
Subject: vs vs vs. (and v.v.)
Date: 14 Apr 92 13:42:41
Organization: Ascent Technology, Inc., Cambridge Massachusetts

In article <1338@wshb.csms.com> michaelb@wshb.csms.com ( WSHB Operations Eng) writes:

   >> =o= Its not "it's" that's misspelled so losely (it's misspelling
   >> is "its"), its "its" who's spelling looses so much (it's
   >> misspelling is "it's").  Also, you should punish those whose
   >> usage of "whose" and "who's" loose.
   >>     <_Jym_>
   >
   >Ha! Wrong! You used "it's" when you meant "its"!

   [studied exposition deleted]

   I leave the explanation of your vs. you're to someone else. I've had enough.
   ( Hm. Let's see, to vs. too vs. two, there vs. their vs. they're, ... )

   Michael

Ha!  It's not vs., its proper rendition's vs, sans dot, as in all
abbreviations ending in the last letter of their expanded form.

So the discussion must resume as to vs too, or too vs to, but
certainly not, to vs. too, or too vs. to.  Oh no.  9-)
--
Paul Foley	UUCP: 		...!uunet!ascent!paul
		HappyNet:	megabozo.personal.10-print-paul-is-cule.20-goto-10
From: nj@magnolia.Berkeley.EDU (Narciso Jaramillo)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: My desk
Date: 7 Apr 92 10:14:06
Organization: Postcarcinogenic Bliss, Inc.
	<1992Apr7.024902.19353@sci34hub.sci.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: magnolia.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: gary@sci34hub.sci.com's message of 7 Apr 92 02:49:02 GMT

My desk is empty.  It is an old ugly schoolboy desk.  The soft wood on
top is scored with doodles, insults, love declarations.  The drawers
collect dust and nothing else.  I am torturing this desk.  It wants
something, anything, put on it or in it.  It craves a chair to fit
under it.  I am giving it none of these things.  It is in a room apart
from all my other furniture, alone with no light.  Sometimes it begs
me--"Please!  Just a crumpled piece of paper, the stub of a pencil, a
dirty dish, anything!"  I laugh maliciously.  Perhaps someday I will
bring something into its room.  It will grovel joyously, thanking me
for this boon, opening and closing itself with delight, until I strike
one of the matches, throw the box into a drawer, and throw the lit
match in with it.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@tigger.jvnc.net (RICHH)
Subject: Re: Butt Wigglin'
Followup-To: the way that you switch and walk
Originator: richh@tigger.jvnc.net
Organization: JvNCnet
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 00:24:26 GMT

In a newsgroup where they bombarded my friendly postmaster with mail about 
some "innappropriate crosspost" of mine, they have the gall to go and get
nasty amongst themselves.

>When she's about to attack something, she wiggles her butt right before
>the attack.
Sounds like Karen.  Come to think of it, her mom does the same thing.

>Her mother does the same thing.

RICHH
--in flagrante delicto
From: rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Somme Mersault)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: I'm grumpy!
Date: 7 Apr 92 04:51:41 GMT
Article-I.D.: news.1992Apr7.045141.15368
Distribution: usa,rules,france,sucks,world
Organization: Institute for Astronomy, Hawaii

>Small writes:
>...I'll be grumpy... 

>Gooley writes:
>I'm Doc.

>Carassco writes;
>I'd like to be Humpy.

And I'll be Sleazy.

--
 Rigler                         Les Etats du Marqaha
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: fields@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Matthew Fields)
Subject: Re: Acid
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 04:00:04 GMT

In article <Ns0RiB5w164w@GeoWare.COM> efudd@GeoWare.COM (Elmer Fudd) writes:
>abuse their families, fuckhead.  Do us all a favour and take your fist
>and ram it up your ass.

Yes, do.  You'll be pleased with the results.  Ah, the sweet agony!
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:11237 comp.sys.amiga.advocacy:12621 alt.games.sf2:341 talk.abortion:15399 alt.exploding.kibo:180 rec.arts.startrek:14744 rec.humor.d:1475 misc.wanted:5088 alt.forgery:261 misc.test:5433 alt.sex.bestiality:970 alt.sex:14661 comp.unix.wizards:2214 alt.drugs:7716 rec.autos:11464 alt.flame:6883 news.newusers.questions:2318 rec.games.mud:4948
From: whoami@hostname (Luv Ewe)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,comp.sys.amiga.advocacy,alt.games.sf2,talk.abortion,alt.exploding.kibo,rec.arts.startrek,rec.humor.d,misc.wanted,alt.forgery,misc.test,alt.sex.bestiality,alt.sex,comp.unix.wizards,rec.comics,alt.drugs,talk.romance.chat,rec.autos,alt.flame,k12.senior.chat,news.newusers.questions,rec.games.mud
Subject: Re: hey, i gotta idea.  this is killer.
Date: 14 Apr 92 18:20:54 GMT
Reply-To: rauser@fraser.sfu.ca


In article <1992Apr14.215257.976@desire.wright.edu> dhoward@desire.wright.edu (sparky-desire) writes:
>i know this might sound inane, but how bout this anyway?
>what if everybody inane enough to do so were to go out 
>and search around in other news groups for totally lame
>posts, and re-post them here in talk.bizarre?
>i mean, that would just, you know, make it, like, cool.
>totally.  radical.
>
>-- 
>.sparky.
>		(off to look for lame posts)

Better yet...


whoami@hostname

"PLEASE TAKE SOC.CULTURE.CHINA OFF THESE CROSS-POSTS AND MAINTAIN SOME
 KINDNESS WITH RESPECT TO OTHER PEOPLES POINTS OF VIEW."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hideo@sdf.lonestar.org (David Carter)
Subject: Re: No Mr Bond, I expect you to die
Organization: sdf Public Access UNIX, Dallas--unrestricted free shell access
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 13:41:13 GMT

>>> >> All my digital signal processing equipment still fails to render
>my
>>> >> guitar that _Early James Bond_ sound.
>>> >> 
>>> >
>>> >That's because the original scores were performed by a banjo,
>not a
>>> >guitar.
>>> 
>>> No, it's because those old James Bond scores were played on
>a Mosrite.
>>
>>What the fuck(tm) is a Mosrite?
>>
>>I feel like I have missed out on something important.
>
>It's the brand of guitar that was used by the Ventures.

Don't forget to dial in maximum reverb!
And use a paper-thin pick!
And grow pork-chop sideburns!

David Carter           : URANUS: not truly a place
aka Hideo Gump         : where the Sun don't shine,
Dallas, Texas USA      : but certainly a place where
hideo@sdf.lonestar.org : the Sun shines dimly!
From: larne@image.symbol.com (Larne Pekowsky)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Evolution is a dismal failure
Date: 6 Apr 92 20:29:58 GMT
Organization: Symbol Technologies, Inc.

Exactly three million years ago today, a young austrolopithicus woman
on the plains of southern Africa became, for a few minutes, the world's
first and only true psychic.

In those few moments she was granted complete knowledge of the world
three million years in the future.  She saw, and understood, every
aspect of life today, from the dozens of people watching "The A Team"
on two-inch TVs at any given time to the slow, self-important meanderings
of US politics.

After the visions had finished she laughed her sagittal crest off
for well over an hour, and then quickly and painlessly killed
herself.

She understood the nature of time, and knew the future could not be
changed.  But she'd be damned if any of her descendants would have
anything to do with it.

- Larne [Although her brother's great^nth grandson is none other than
         that annoying 'Erkele' guy]