From: timothy lee <tlee@silver.ucs.indiana.edu>
Subject: My Thought on Wife Beating
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 07:08:34 GMT

Due to the current postings about wife beating, some (especially, non-Koreans)
may conceive that wife beating is prevalent in Korean homes.   Some might even
conjure up images of the chauvinistic and authoritarian husband when they
think about Korean males.  However, wife abuse is not that bad in Korea. 
In my opinion, Korean homes are much happier and sounder and less turbulent
than American homes, although some Korean domestic scenes may look strange
to Westerners.  First of all, wife beating in Korea is a little different
from wife beating in America.  It has better be called a quarrel or squabble
rather than wife beating since it's much less violent than wife beating
in America.  (Consider the horrible stories about wife beating on TV talk shows
-- Geraldo, Oprah, Donahue.  I think TIME magazine also covered that issue as
one of the serious domestic problem in America.)  The reason why wife beating
cannot be a serious issue in Korea is wife beating in Korea is not violent.
In Korean society, husbands are bread-winners and they assume a lot of
responsibility as the head of a household.  So they may exert a little bit
their authority toward their wives and slap their wives.  (You do that when
you quarrel with your brothers or sisters when you are young.  Just like
that.  But you don't call it brother beating or sister beating.  Now you
know what I mean).  Usually they never severely beat their wives and make them
bitter.  What I mean is even though they may beat their wives but they
never bruise their wives' hearts.  Although they may be angry outwardly, but
they never give up their affection or compassion on their wives inwardly.  (It
may sound odd but I think Koreans understand what I am saying.  Love is beyond
logic.)  Of course, Korean wives understand this. You know, people live 
by heart not by manner. So although sometimes they are slapped, they don't 
regard this as a big deal since they know their husbands are not angry 
against them. (That's why it cannot be a serious domestic issue in Korea.)
To Westerns, Korean males may have bad manners but they have hearts 
toward their wives.  They never betray or desert their wives 
and children although their marriage may have ups and downs.  
(Consider the terrible situations of husbands' unfaithfulness and
divorce and broken families in America).  Why cannot Korean males betray their
wives?  Basically, Korean males are warm-hearted gentlemen inside. Outwardly, 
they look terrible chauvinists and wife beaters.  But inwardly, they are 
gentlemen and wife-lovers.  (How I do know that?  I saw such gentlemen in my 
Dad and my Dad is a typical Korean ordinary man.  I saw such gentlemen in my
neighborhood and in my town.)  I always have the idea that Korean males are 
strong and caring and affectionate although they may lack manners.  On the 
other hand, American males are cruel and cold hearted inwardly although their 
manners are nice outwardly.  It's like Korean males are country boys at heart 
and American males are suburban boys (or city boys) at heart.  My big question
after coming to America was how these civilized folks have such high rate of 
divorce and broken family.  My heart was broken when I saw many Americans
throw their wives who have shared their difficulties (Jo-Gang-Ji-Cheo) and
their children away like an old shoe (Hun Go-Mu-Shin Cheo-Rum Beo-Ri-Da) and 
go after foxy girls.  Once I thought these guys were not
better than beasts although their manners and etiquette might be nice.  Then,
I could understand why American women had no choice but to become militant 
feminists.
	Concerning the matter of wife beating, Koreans tend to be defensive, 
but to me, Koreans do not have any problem with wife beating.  On the contrary,
Americans should take care of their own problem first before they point their 
fingers toward others as some netter pointed out.


P.S.  I am sometimes sarcastic, due to my fallen nature.
Newsgroups: soc.culture.korean