HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Tue, 26 Jan 1993 13:40:11 EST
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      Re: META: Taste
              26 Jan 1993 09:50:11 PST from <bellahs!lao!tnelson@UUNET.UU.NET>

On Tue, 26 Jan 1993 09:50:11 PST Tom Nelson RD said:
>What do the Extropians taste like & what wine should I serve?

We should really have a FAQ on this.  With Extropians, I recommend a
light but hearty Chablis, perhaps something from one of the smaller
vinyards.  The delicate, unassuming flesh of the Extropian- with
none of the gamey flaver one encounters in other self-absorbed game
fowl- requires a wine subtle enough to allow it room, and yet bold
enough to keep it from stripping the tastebuds off the tongue like
so many scales off a halibut and scattering them to the four winds
while chanting some ancient pagan oath, redolent of bloody altars
and awful, grinning, jackal-headed Gods.
With Roast Leri, I recommend gatorade.

Bill
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Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 12:40:06 EST
From:         jprovo@GNU.AI.MIT.EDU
Subject:      re: mop squeezer seance

Tuna sez:
>My mother is dead, you bitch.

then a- deal with it
or   b- arrange for this seance and talk to her, you worthless
          son! How long _has_ it been since you called?

"There's always Hate."          -- the Tear Garden
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Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 08:38:00 -06
From:         Dana Rollins <ROLLIDE@AUDUCADM.DUC.AUBURN.EDU>
Subject:      Reply to aw, shucks guys, gee

PS-- i've got six months to live; what do you, my
FRIENDS, think i should do with the time left?

*** Comments from STERN WELL-WISHER; 01/28/93 08:37am:
two words, young Whiplash:
Accordion Lessons
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Tue, 26 Jan 1993 14:58:31 -0500
From:         "Gen. Norman Schwachhimkopf" <LESSER@FAXON.COM>
Subject:      Jah!

>Die Freiheit zum Offenbaren eines Offenen laesst das jeweilige Seiende
>das Seinde sein, das es ist.  Freiheit enthuellt sich jetzt als das
>Seinlassen von Al Bundys.
>
>                                                 --Sein mit Kindern
>                                                   Dresden Codex {Heil}
>
>*** Comments from SCHWACH IM KOPF; 01/26/93 08:30am:
>Nehmen Sie gefalligst Ihr drekkiges Waschzeug weg, ich will mich nicht
>infizieren!  Sie sind ja nicht einmal zum Mistkarren brauchbar...
>
>Merc

I am a jelly donut, too, Pops!

John Junior
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X-Delivery-Notice:  SMTP MAIL FROM does not correspond to sender.
X-Envelope-to: fnord-l@ubvm.BITNET
Full-Name: Pamela Koch
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 09:04:40 CST
From:         Pamela Koch <Pamela.Koch@ACENET.AUBURN.EDU>
Subject:      WHAT!?

>Well, OK then- we'll let you stay.  But you have to do the dishes this
>month.

>Bill

----------

QUICK!  HELP ME PULL HIM BACK ON HIS ROCKER, GUYS!

AND GIVE THAT WITCH SOME LAUGHING GAS & GET 'ER OUTA HERE!

(And get some screens for this place; you never know
WHAT's going to fly in next, fer cryin out loud!)
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Date:         Wed, 27 Jan 1993 12:35:13 EST
From:         General Mills <LIBALP@EMUVM1.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: No, don't get up, i'm just gonna grab
              27 Jan 1993 11:16:11 CST from <U9AA@SDSUMUS.SDSTATE.EDU>

On Wed, 27 Jan 1993 11:16:11 CST rufus t. firefly said:
>   i guess you ain't gotten the message yet, li'l lady, so i'll spell
>it out fer ya nice an' plain. we're criminals on this here list, all
>of us, wanted for thoughtcrime and other scummy things. robbin' is
>jes 'bout the least of it all. doncha know what a fnord is? ah guess
>ah'll have ta drop on over ta yer place one of these first nights an'
>show ya so's there's no ifs or ands. butts are fine, tho . . . heh.

Welcome back, Mr. Firefly.  "I didn't know you was still alive, sir," as they
say in Pogo and on Stony Brook.

As for thoughtcrime, you know those signs that say, "Don't even THINK about
parking here."  Well, I always make it a point to think about parking there.

gm
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Date:         Wed, 27 Jan 1993 17:22:00 -06
From:         Dana Rollins <ROLLIDE@AUDUCADM.DUC.AUBURN.EDU>
Subject:      MONKEY IN YER SOUL

Ja, du weisst:
das schockt den Affen!
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Organization: Emory University - Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Wed, 27 Jan 1993 10:38:08 EST
From:         LIBWCA@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      Re: Reply to No Subject

On Tue, 26 Jan 1993 16:40:18 CST MW said:
>
>No virulence intended, just wondering to what verbally disgusting extremes you
>can be drawn.
>

I'd be careful, there.  I happen to know that Mr. Merciful Lee Dickens can
be drawn to verbally disgusting extremes you've never dreamed of.  I mean,
we're talking toilet mouth; just try him.  Put hair on your bowels, I'm
telling you.

Cuthbert
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Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 09:50:28 -0500
From:         helene@HLE.SMITHSONIAN.ORG
Subject:      Leisure Vilification

I honestly don't understand the central gist of what is happening here on
this list!  Is this performance art?  How can the real meaning of the
"metaphorical" messages be apprehended?  I thought this list was supposed
to be about Doctors Leary and Lilly, Robert Anton Wilson, and others...
So far I haven't been able to recognize any messages here as being primarily
about these writers... can someone here explain this to me?

_______________________________________________________________
Helene Velter               Accounting Dept., Smithsonian
helene@hle.smithsonian.org      opinions are my own
_______________________________________________________________
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 12:39:26 EST
From:         CYNOVY@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      Re: Mnemonics

>In article <1993Jan28.025439.3068@midway.uchicago.edu> thf2@midway.uchicago.ed
>
>>Hah!  You can't fool me!  There is no February 29, 2000.  And William
>>Shatner is married to Majel Barrett.  And Bill Clinton is a member of the
>>Trilateralists.
>>
>>Ted "what's the 'T' in CFR stand for?" Frank
>
>Note that if you ROT13 CFR, which stands for Council on Foreign Relations,
>you get PSE, which stands for Praising Satan's Evil.
>
>---Bill "hah! they can't fool me either" VanHorne
>

Damn, I wish FNORD-L had this much depth.

gm
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Tue, 26 Jan 1993 19:07:26 EST
From:         CYNOVY@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

Which, of course, means that AM's post was an allegorical commentary
on the lack of in-depth discussion which had filtered through the
fnord-colored shades as of late.  This is important, as allegories
are far from a new way of thinking, and it suggests that LIBALP may
have momentarily confused his lissome self with one of the reoccurring
bit players in FNORDland, instead of the lodestone he is.  However,
it also suggests the somewhat classical/modern notion that a new way
of thinking may be spurred (excuse me, did someone mention Lyotard
around here?) on, born out of, an old idea, or, rather, that the process
of manufacturing a new idea might be a very old process, and likely
the new in this sense would be more akin to "New and Improved" than
it would be to "Newfangled".

Or maybe a New Idea isn't something that can be manufactured, and maybe
it's not recognizable to those who have toiled forever in old ideas,
including this one, and maybe it's not much of an idea at all, as the
idea of "idea" is pretty old, unless one keeps to a strict etymology,
in which case we should define our terms.  Yup, that's it, I'd say.
Nutshelled.

Just sign me,
"The Butterfly Tends to Think of the Caterpillar As Snackfood"
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Date:         Wed, 27 Jan 1993 17:57:23 EST
From:         Robert Holder <robert@WHIPLASH.ER.USGS.GOV>
Subject:      aw, shucks guys, gee

that really does give me a warm feelin' and all but
before you REALLY accept me back into the FAMILY,
you really oughta know that... i'm PREGNANT and
gloria steinem's the father...

now gloria's gonna get a job, and i can keep working
until the last three months, so we'll be able to
pull our weight around here, and maybe she'll get
that promotion at work and then we could move out...
get our own place...  help humanity... save God from
the ABYSS...  become Christ... vindicate cynicism...
crucify EVERY
LAST
LIVING
THING

...hmmm.... guess i better up that librium dose,huh?

PS-- i've got six months to live; what do you, my
FRIENDS, think i should do with the time left?
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Date:         Tue, 26 Jan 1993 13:52:18 CST
Comments:     Converted from PROFS to RFC822 format by PUMP V2.2X
From:         MW <GS0383@SPRINGB.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: No Subject

Ok, I admit, I was just trying to get a reaction out of you. I'm glad it
worked. But I still think you're a bunch of freaks, and not the good type. You
remind me of the beginnings of a mob forming on the street. (Yeah, let's kill
em!) For instance, can someone tell me why you treated that one guy, a couple
weeks ago, who was asking about someone, I forgot his name, so bad? I'm sorry
I can't remember who it was he was asking about. The way you all talked about
him it seemed like he must be famous in some way or other. Anyhow, he left the
list, apparently, and this guy was asking about him, and you guys just jumped
all over him. You practically told him to get lost. It sounded like there were
some definite insecurity-inferiority, who knows what all kind of mental
problems brewing with some of you (most of you). Can't you learn to control
that? I am bored at work sometimes and so therefore I do read this trash when
it comes in. That idea about a near-death experience was really good.
  I laughed for a while. But this stuff about pissing on a little boy's tongue
to save his life--what in the world is the point of going over it? Did it
really happen, or is it a joke? And if it did happen, well, thank goodness the
man was resourceful, and what more is there to say? Is this a delectable image
to you or what? And why all these cryptic references, these snide little
comments with no meaning? And why, why German? Or is it even real German, is
it fake German meant to be entertaining in some way?

Yes, I do have better things to do, you're absolutely right, Mr. Cuthbert or
Bill or whoever the hell it was who commented on my lack of things to do. And
who is this Extropians or whatever? Is it a list I might find a little less
vicious and piss-oriented than this one?If so, I would appreciate the address
 Thank you in advance.
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Date:         Tue, 26 Jan 1993 13:20:08 CST
Comments:     Converted from PROFS to RFC822 format by PUMP V2.2X
From:         MW <GS0383@SPRINGB.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: No Subject

Well, I was hoping for some action, and so thank you all.  I'll think about all
your suggestions very seriously.
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Tue, 26 Jan 1993 13:53:20 EST
From:         CYNOVY@EMUVM1.BITNET
Subject:      Re: No Subject

>By the way, why do you call it "New Ways of Thinking?" Why don't you just be
>honest about it and call it "Sick Ways of Thinking?" There's nothing new about
>it. The only thing I've seen in weeks worth reading is the thing about how do
>you tell your boss a near death experience might be beneficial. Nothing else
>has been even close to original or funny. You're like a bunch of mangy little
>dogs biting each other electronically. What is the point?

Watch this space for a disclaimer by Pat, the Listowner.

That is, assuming he hasn't actually managed to get a real job.

Incidentally, it's not just electronically-- I thought we'd covered
this by now-- it's nuclear-electronically.
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 13:15:33 -0500
From:         hoffman@BICYCLE.SANDOZ.COM
Subject:      An Explanation of Recent Net Mailings

It is with great embarrassment and regret that I come to you today,
Network Mail List Reader, with my sincere apologies for the messages
you may have received on your Newsgroup, Conference or List.

Here at Sandoz Research Laboratories, we devote considerable resources
and man-hours towards the goal of finding new pharmacological substances
which we hope will ultimately benefit mankind.

As happens with any such endeavor, there are mistakes.  Sometimes we
work hard to develop an drug which we later find has very serious
side effects.  Some of these substances have received widespread
negative publicity in the media in the past, and I'm afraid you will
soon be hearing of another.

We recently developed, in working with the Defence Department, a gas
which, while similiar in some respects to some of the benzenes, lacked
the toxicity and some other problems which prevent them from being
useful in our work.

This morning, we had an accident here at the lab, where an thirty
ounce canister of the gas was released.  Several lab technicians
fled the sealed room in fear, in direct violation of mandatory
OSHA lab safety procedures.  Some of the gas escaped, as fate would
have it, out the clean room door and directly into an air handler
which routed directly into our small software development department.

We sent an immediate message over the building intercom for everyone
to evacuate, but the gas is very fast acting, especially when
concentrated, and our programmers barricaded themselves in the room.
Among other things, they spent the morning wrapping themselves in
magnetic tape and sending falsified transmissions out over the net
work.  Apparently, some of these transmissions arrived on your
Newsgroup, Conference or Mail List, as they did on many others.  WE
have received hundreds of phone calls today from universities,
businesses and the press.  We will be issuing a press release describing
the event at 1:30 p.m. EST today.

We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you,
and we direct any correspondence regarding this matter to our law
firm, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney, Brown and Velter, Esq.

Albert Hoffman
Sandoz Labs
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Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 11:07:20 -0500
From:         odailey@N2O.MAYO.EDU
Subject:      Nitrous Oxide--no laughing matter

There has been much on this newslist which i for one have
found to be somewhat objectionable.  Personally, i think
it was a mistake to let this sort of unrestrained nihilistic
chaotic rambling to go unmoderated for so long!  It starts
perhaps, with Martin Luther or Copernicus, but it ends up
with Robert Mapplethorpe!

The last straw, for me, was the irresponsible and scurrilious
casual reference to the anesthetic gas, nitrous oxide, commonly
referred to in the popular parlance as "laughing gas".

This sort of casual drug reference is just the sort of thing
which encourages our young people, many of whom are currently
reading these messages through the terminals they are provided
with at their local university or community college, and this
is happening at a time in there lives when some of them are
very impressionable about such things as casual sex and illicit
drug use.  I find this very frustrating, given my background in
research into the psychology of human drug addictions.  My
research indicates that much of our drug problems are due to
incorrect socialization practices, such as what I am seeing on
this newslist.

I call for the moderator to step in at this point and help
alleviate some of this serious, serious problem.

..............................................................
:  Otto Dailey          |   Pharmacological Research Dept.    :
:  Ph.D.  Staff         |   Mayo Clinic                       :
:  Researcher           |   voice  (714) 831-6642             :
:  odailey@n2o.mayo.edu |   fax    (714) 835-4000             :
..............................................................
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 08:37:35 CST
From:         "rufus t. firefly" <U9AA@SDSUMUS.SDSTATE.EDU>
Subject:      The Pause That Refreshes

> Well, it's nice to be missed.  Boy did i miss this place!
> Yep, it was tough just makin' it through the day without
> my dose of fnord.  i look forward to more of the same.
>
   TOO BAD you couldn't have missed it for a few more EONS, you
LYING IMPOSTER!!! if you really WERE "death", you'd be kicking
elbows and taking shoe sizes . . . but you're not, ARE YOU, you
little worm!!! ugly black clothes and your slimy grandpa's old
scythe doesn't make you death, it makes you QUADRILATERAL!!!

> I suppose there's some fee involved with your pen-pal
> service... guess i'll just have to cough up.  Gee, i wonder
> what it'll be this time.

   only your IMMORTAL SOUL, all three of your foot glands, and half
of your firstborn CHILD!!! the RIGHT half . . . you can have what's
left. PLUS that duck tape you have over your teeth. no coughing.
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Tue, 26 Jan 1993 15:38:00 -06
From:         Dana Rollins <ROLLIDE@AUDUCADM.DUC.AUBURN.EDU>
Subject:      Reply to SPROCKET ZE DOOTZ?

>
Im fenster sitz drei herren.

*** Comments from SCHWACH IM KOPF; 01/26/93 03:33pm:
Haben Sie gut geschlafen?  Drangen Sie sich nicht vor, Sie ungeschliffe
ner Banause!

Herr Merciful
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Date:         Wed, 27 Jan 1993 12:13:21 CST
Comments:     Converted from PROFS to RFC822 format by PUMP V2.2X
From:         MW <GS0383@SPRINGB.BITNET>
Subject:      Reply to Re: Play Ball!

Now, see, that's just what I'm talking about.  What are "dweezlings"
anyway?  And who is this Melvin person I keep talking about?

MW
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Date:         Tue, 26 Jan 1993 15:46:00 EST
From:         Secret Squirrel <LIBJRM@EMUVM1.BITNET>
Subject:      re: no subject

MW:

>code names I feel like I can get away with just about anything, so might as
>well let myself go.

Glad yer catching on, pookie (I can call you pookie, right?)

>extension of the Eskimo story was what got to me. Thank you for supplying the
>name Foss. And on the subject of names, my name is really Melanie, not
>Melaney. The computer people here misspelled it somehow in the system and it's
>never been the same since. And so, please refer to me as Melanie, which is my
>real name, by the way. As for Call Me Surly, I think I'd rather call you
>Squirrely. (Ha!!)

As long as you call me, honey-thighs; long as you call me.
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Wed, 27 Jan 1993 11:09:00 -06
From:         Dana Rollins <ROLLIDE@AUDUCADM.DUC.AUBURN.EDU>
Subject:      Reply to Re: Play Ball!

Zeus, Richard Nixon, and myself.  The downside
of the upside, of course, is that Nixon and I will have your knees
broken if you say anything we don't like.  Zeus, it may be safely
assumed, will just sit there and take it.  He's not the man he used
to be.

Cuthbert

*** Comments from NITPICKEE; 01/27/93 11:02am:
He never was.
Except that time with that, that animal.
Now that, that was disgusting.
Where were you then, bitch?
Huh?
We didn't hear any of your dweezlings then, did we?
You know why?
Because you LIKED IT, that's why!
You liked it and now you're bitter cause he's gone.
Wow.  I'm wracked with compassion.
That's just so, so tough.


Chancellor Emeritus Marriot Inn
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 10:33:09 CST
From:         "rufus t. firefly" <U9AA@SDSUMUS.SDSTATE.EDU>
Subject:      Nitrous Oxide--no laughing matter

> There has been much on this newslist which i for one have
> found to be somewhat objectionable.  Personally, i think
> it was a mistake to let this sort of unrestrained nihilistic
> chaotic rambling to go unmoderated for so long!  It starts
> perhaps, with Martin Luther or Copernicus, but it ends up
> with Robert Mapplethorpe!
>
> The last straw, for me, was the irresponsible and scurrilious
> casual reference to the anesthetic gas, nitrous oxide, commonly
> referred to in the popular parlance as "laughing gas".
>
> This sort of casual drug reference is just the sort of thing
> which encourages our young people, many of whom are currently
> reading these messages through the terminals they are provided
> with at their local university or community college, and this
> is happening at a time in there lives when some of them are
> very impressionable about such things as casual sex and illicit
> drug use.  I find this very frustrating, given my background in
> research into the psychology of human drug addictions.  My
> research indicates that much of our drug problems are due to
> incorrect socialization practices, such as what I am seeing on
> this newslist.
>
> I call for the moderator to step in at this point and help
> alleviate some of this serious, serious problem.
>
> ..............................................................
> :  Otto Dailey          |   Pharmacological Research Dept.    :
> :  Ph.D.  Staff         |   Mayo Clinic                       :
> :  Researcher           |   voice  (714) 831-6642             :
> :  odailey@n2o.mayo.edu |   fax    (714) 835-4000             :
> ..............................................................


   you need to give up that nitrous crap, brother. here, i got some
frop in my backpack. just slide it twixt your teeth and gum, it's a
wild rush, SLACK CITY HERE WE COME!!!

  ACCEPT *BOB* INTO YOUR WALLET TODAY!!!!

rtf, primate, last church of cashew nuts
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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Thu, 28 Jan 1993 12:36:09 EST
From:         jprovo@GNU.AI.MIT.EDU
Subject:      yo! devious!

>Whatever you wanna call me, I'm here, and y'all don't know me that
>well, do ya...


....don't forget that I still troll this sludge, pal...

...and i know you...

heh.

joe

Disclaimer: "I'm the only one foolish enough to claim these opinions as mine."
jprovo@gnu.ai.mit.edu         crimson@wpi.wpi.edu          jzp@gene.ummed.edu
    Russell Street UN*X Consultations and Development     (NIC handle: JZP)
                        Rev. Dkr. Nick LaRG0, ASC, BBB
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