From: hackbod@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU (Dianne Hackborn)
Newsgroups: alt.transgendered
Subject: Re: Tough questions.
Date: 13 Nov 1992 08:14:18 GMT
Organization: Buried on the floor somewhere.
NNTP-Posting-Host: xanth.cs.orst.edu

anonymus+2941@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu (Confused of Springfield) writes:

   [Wonders about transsexualism and sexual desire.  I'm not even going
    to try to quote it since my reply is completely muddled and
    doesn't follow the organization of the original article at all. :)]

While I don't think it is as common now, there does sometimes seem to
be an attitude that transsexuals should be asexual before SRS.  There
was a discussion on #Crossdress a little while ago about this and the
Benjamin Sex Orientation Scale.  [The scale ranks gender dysphoria
into 7 "types", type 0 being "normal" and type IV being Stark-Raving
Transsexual. :)]  In the scale, all of the transsexual types are
described as usually being asexual, having a low libido, auto-erotic,
etc.  It also labels TVs as usually being motivated to some degree by
sexual satisfaction.  I think that both of these generalizations are
extremely inaccurate and harmful in that they tend to make it somehow
"better" to be a TS, since they don't do what they do for any
icky-yucky sex reasons.

I consider myself a fairly sexual person; I don't feel shamed about my
sexuality and feel that it is something that should be celebrated as a
fundamental part of being human.  And I certainly am not going to let my
sexuality be taken away by some belief that it contradicts my feelings
as a TS.  I believe that 95% of sex is in the head, and spent a long
time with my fantasies as the only outlet for these feelings; I've
built up a nice variey of sexual fantasies which allowed me to escape my
body for at least a little while.

[As far as your comment that "nice girls don't masturbate", I can
certainly see the possibility that a bit of sexism is involved.  I
wonder how FtM TSs are usually expected to behave sexually?]

I have masturbated many times while wearing women's clothes... and I
have masturbated many times while wearing men's clothes [well, more
like androgynous clothes... I won't willing wear anything that is
Definately Masculine. :)].  And I have even masturbated while wearing
nothing at all!  So, am I one of those icky-yucky TVs [and not just a
TV, but a FETISHISTIC TV.  *gasp!*] who only likes the clothes for the
sexual thrill?  No.  I enjoy sex, and I don't feel any desire to Prove
My Transsexualism by repressing it.

And I don't know if I can say that I _hate_ my genetalia...  But I know
that I don't want them how they are, and _wanting_ to pay $10,000 to
have them fixed probably requires quite a bit of dislike. :)

[Actually, I don't feel any desire to prove I'm a TS, period.  I see
it as simply a description of my current state, and something that I
will hopefully get corrected.]

I also spent a lot of time wondering if I was _trying_ to convince myself
that I'm a TS because I was really a TV and felt ashamed about wearing
women's clothes.  However, I eventually realized that I am _much_ more
comfortable with my sexuality than with being a TS.  I enjoy every
twisted turn of my sexuality - from being bi, to being submissive, to
being fetishistic.  [OK, I probably just enjoy calling myself a
fetishist... I call myself that because of my enjoyment of binding
clothes/rubber/whatever, which is probably more a result of being a
submissive.  But anyway... :)]

"Dreadful gaffing fetish"??  Bleah.  While I've never gaffed, knowing
my sexuality I'm sure I'd enjoy it.  ["Tighter!!" :)]  So?  Who cares
what kind of sexual things you enjoy?  Don't try to judge yourself by
what you tell yourself a TS or TV should be; look honestly at yourself
and don't be ashamed of what you find.  That's the only way you'll be
able to find out who you truely are.

One last comment about the Benjamin Sex Orientation Scale... It also
seems to limit the chance of being a bisexual to Type IV -
"Transsexual Non Surgical" and completely ignores lesbians.  While
this may be reasonable considering how old it is, IMHO it reduces it
to a pretty worthless diagnostic tool.

I hope this made some kind of sense.  But to summarize...  Sex Is
Good, Sex Is Fun, and don't turn it into a bigger deal than it is.
:)

-- 
Dianne Hackborn                 The healthy .sig:
hackbod@xanth.cs.orst.edu     - Low in saturated quotes
BIX: dhack / IRC: Dianne      - No artificial disclaimers
Oregon State University       - 99% splat free
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