X-Delivery-Notice:  SMTP MAIL FROM does not correspond to sender.
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.christia
Date:         Wed, 12 Aug 1992 10:13:00 EST
From:         "DRCV06::GRAHAM" <GRAHAM%DRCV06.decnet@DRCVAX.AF.MIL>
Subject:      Do YOU want a trditional family?
X-To:         christia <christia@asuvm.inre.asu.edu>

Let's explore a few of the things that people have called traditional
family values in response to my question.

fHonesty, decency and hard work are not in any related to families.  Yes,
they are often taught in the family, but they are also present in people
from wildly varying family backgrounds, they aren't family values, they are
societal values, and are as present in adults who were orphans as those who
were raised in a "traditional" family.

The idea of two parents for children is a nice one, but most of history has
shown that it is irrelevant to people becomming hard working, consciencious
members of their society.  There is no tradidion of two parent families.
In fact, most of history has consisted of two parents, but then one wither
going off to war, or ignoring the children completely.  North America was
populated by natives who lived in tribes, or highly extended families.
Evidence shows that this arrangement is actually better for the development
of social skills than the closed family.

The love of God and His ways is a strictly individual item.  Only the born
again will teach their children to do so, the others, they will and should
do as they please.

All of those wonderful, traditional families some idolize were not roses.
Hidden in many, perhaps most of them was and still is child abuse, wife
beating, hatred of spouses and children, cheating on taxes, engendered
selfishness, cheating on spouses and so many other ills that it'd exceed
the list limits to mention them all.

I closely observe family structures.  I have had the opportunity to see
many hundreds, (God has blessed me with many friends.)  Most of those
families are, so to speak, traditional.  Most of them are dysfunctional.
Most of them are sick, sick, sick!!

If by "traditional" it is meant that a family follow Biblical guidelines,
then, as I said, that only applies to the born again, and is irrelevant to
most of society.   In a "traditional" family, the husband works, the wife
stys at home and is slavishly submissive to the lord of the house.  The
children are seen and not heard, their fun and or hapiness is secondary to
the lord's convenience.   At dinner, the family assembles and the lord
dictates the agenda for the following day.  He dictates what is for dinner,
and where the family will go on vacation.  In a traditional family, the
wife will submit to sex whenever the lord wishes, whether she is desirous
or not.  If she is interested in lovemaking and the lord is tired, she can
forget her plleasure, for his comes first and always.

You don't think those are the essential items in a traditional family, a
traditional American family, that is ... don't be silly.  Ask any member of
one of those traditional families and you'll get your eyes opened if the
person is being honest.

I am not against families, th ey are great.  Let us not forget, though,
that if God does not build the house, they labor in vain who build it.
Forget this family value junk in politics and see to your own family.

Dan Graham