HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: forda@gtephx.UUCP (Andrew Ford @ AGCS, Phoenix, Arizona)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Date: 27 Aug 92 16:48:52 GMT
Organization: gte

In article <1992Aug21.151703.11576@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>, marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
> In article <1992Aug21.042107.2790@athena.mit.edu> sybok@athena.mit.edu (The Rifleman) writes:
> >>In article <1992Aug18.183738.17605@tin.monsanto.com> bcschu@skws02.monsanto.com (Brett Schultz) writes:
> >>>It was just a joke.  I really don't think that Polish have any less brain power
> >>>than anyone else.
> >>>
> >>>Brett
> >>
> >>Brett, your statements are very offensive to me - wheather you think
> >>this is a joke or not you are just simply spreading hatred and
> >>insults. As a community of intellectual's this cannot be tolerated
> >>on the network and you should just simply stop posting this kind 
> >>of crap; keep it to yourself. ALSO THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR 
> >>SHOULD SEE TO THIS. 
> 
> >Offensive ideas are protected by the first amendment.  Haven't you heard,
> >"Although I do not agree with what you say, I'll fight to the death for
> >your right to say it"?  And, no, I don't "approve" of this, but I must
> >disapprove of any effort to "ban" it.
> 
> First of all who are you ?
> 
> Secondly is this the great Democracy pitch, the good old first ammandment?
> The only thing is that people allover the world subscribe to this group,
> not everyone is American and for that matter does not give a shit about
> YOUR FIRST AMMENDMENT. This is an international community, and I don't
> want some infintile (BRETT who ever you are) to spread such sarcastic
> and insulting jokes, THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR MUST BE DEALT WITH, or tell
> him to mover over to the German group, Itallian group - whatever as
> long as he stops bashing Polish culture.
> 

So Mario, when did you buy the net?  

Or did God die and appoint you his successor?

Where the hell do you get off telling other people what's funny?

Get a sense of humor or get the fuck off rec.humor!

[OOOOOhhhh, a nasty word! Someone call the Thought Police and
have me arrested!]  

If polock jokes offend you, then don't read posting with
a subject line including polack!

You do not own this newgroup, you do not control this
newsgroup, and you have NO RIGHTS in this newsgroup,
so shut up.

If you want moderated humor, go read rec.humor.funny.

AH


-- 
"25 States allow anyone to buy a gun, strap it on, and walk down the street with
no permit of any kind: some say it's crazy.  However, 4 out of 5 US murders are 
committed in the other half of the country: so who is crazy?"   -  Andrew Ford
gtephx!forda@enuucp.eas.asu.edu  OR  !uunet!samsung!romed!enuucp!gtephx!forda
From: ericwolf@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Eric Wolf)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Gotta have it!
Date: 1 Sep 92 01:06:05 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center


I would appreciate it if anyone with a copy of Professor Ralph Noble's
pscyhology class quotes could mail me a copy.  It was message 1832 in the rec.
humor.funny group my news reader can't get it.  I would REALLY appreciate
it.  My email address is below...  Thanks!!

- Eric
  ericwolf@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
From: riks@ogicse.cse.ogi.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Remember Anita Bryant?
Date: 4 Sep 92 01:39:32 GMT
Article-I.D.: ogicse.42383
Distribution: usa
Organization: Oregon Graduate Institute (formerly OGC), Beaverton, OR


 Remember Anita Bryant in Dade county and her tirades?
Perhaps hurricane Andrew is god's vengeance against bigotry?
From: mike@leah.prc.utexas.edu (Michael Kline)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny sign
Date: 25 Aug 92 17:01:50 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Population Research Center, UT-Austin

In article <1992Aug23.152145.13930@ee.eng.ohio-state.edu> gan@sample-o.eng.ohio-state.edu writes:
>Here's one funny sign near a swimming pool,
>	
>"We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool"
>
>
>
>-- 

I saw this at a friends house in his bathroom :


"Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean.
 Your aim would be greatly appreciated."
From: mike@leah.prc.utexas.edu (Michael Kline)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 31 Aug 92 15:25:45 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.164326.18511@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>
>"Jesus is hanging on the cross and down below at the bottom
>of the hill, Peter is mourning the loss of their saviour and leader.
>Suddenly he hears a faint voice calling to him..."Peter....Peter"
>and he turns and starts to run up the hill toward Jesus on the cross.
>Before he can get to the top the Roman soldiers shew him away and,
>dejected, he goes back down the hill."
>
>
>I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
>a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
>willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
>but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.

Give us all a break!  This is a humor group, not a morals group.  Humorists
have been making fun of religion for a long time.  If you don't appreciate
somebody else's sense of humor, too bad!  It may be this "Everyone must
accept my morals" attitude of yours that makes people laugh at these jokes
in the first place.


Here's one for you:

Jesus walks into an inn, throws a bunch of nails on the counter, and asks,
"Can you put me up for the night?"
From: jdare@math.rutgers.edu (James Dare)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: nursery rhymes
Date: 28 Aug 92 21:19:01 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

In article <1992Aug21.153634.22008@oakhill.sps.mot.com> carder@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Darrell Carder) writes:

>In article <9ZkTPB2w165w@ersys.edmonton.ab.ca> rich@ersys.edmonton.ab.ca (Richard Hempsey) writes:
>>ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller) writes:
>>- In a previous article, ashok@regulus.Inria.Fr (Ashok Kumar) says:
[snip]
>>Old Mother Hubbard
>>Went to the cupboard
>>to fetch poor rover a bone.
>>
>>When she bent over,
>>Rover drover her,
>>'Cuz Rover had a bone of his own.

The way I originally heard it was

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch poor rover a bone.

But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own.

(I think this version scans a little better)

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| James A. Dare          | Hammered a screwdriver into my ear, to my brain.   |
| E-mail:                | I'm watchin' my life swirl down the drain          |
| jdare@math.rutgers.edu | And I'm feelin' about as Abel as Cain              |
| Snail-mail:            | But I guess that that's the price of fame          |
| P.O. Box 4104          | When you're destined to live on a STREET OF SHAME! |
| Highland Park, NJ      |                        --Foetus                    |
|            08904-4104  ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|                        | I saw an x-ray of a girl passing gas!              |
|                        |                        --Butthole Surfers          |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.|
|	   		-- Vice President Dan Quayle                          |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: robert@verdix.com (Robert Brown)
Subject: Fat wife jokes
Organization: Verdix Corp.
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 19:28:25 GMT

Could someone repost the fat wife jokes I saw not too long ago?
Thanks in advance.


================================================================================
Robert Brown		
Systems Administrator

Verdix Corporation
205 Van Buren St.
Herndon, VA  22070

robert@verdix.com
===============================================================================
Xref: sparky rec.humor:27478 soc.culture.polish:2235 alt.censorship:7293
From: jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Date: 31 Aug 92 19:36:27 GMT
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology

>Anyway most of them aren't funny - they're just the same humour - the same 
>joke said in different way. Real humour is the unexpected. These are just 
>so predictable. 
>
>--
>Marc Loon <loon@underdog.ee.wits.ac.za>

Okay people, no more Polack jokes.  Marc says they're not funny.

Damn, and I was just starting to get into it. 

=====================jholtgra@scgraph.afit.af.mil==============================
Jeremy Holtgrave                          "Besides, we have more guns and bombs
Air Force Institute of Technology          than you."
Wright-Patterson AFB, Ohio
===============================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: miket@unislc.uucp (Michael Thompson)
Subject: Re: Cease Fire
Reply-To: miket@unislc.UUCP (Michael Thompson,B2C04,4560)
Organization: Unisys, Salt Lake City
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 19:13:07 GMT

In article <1992Aug31.143122.13782@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>
>    Could everyone please stop sending mail to my account. I'm calling
>a cease fire, and I want to appoligize to all the rec.humor netters for
>some of the  bashing I dished out. Looking back at it only few people really
>deserved and I should of done it offline. I would ask everyone not to post any
>crap into soc.culture.polish, check the groups before you post an article.


That wasn't so tough now was it Mario?  Things would have been a whole
lot simpler for everyone, especially you, had you done this in the first
place.  However, the resultant flamefest was pretty amusing.

Let's all play nice now.

Mike
From: durhab@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Good American Joke...From a real American...
Date: 26 Aug 92 01:26:58 CDT
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

You want a good American Joke?  How about the Presidential Elections.  
It's where two people get up, lie to us about what they are going to
do if we elect them.  (This is also the time that the current
President tries to fix everything in a few months that he's messed up
the last four years).

You want a better joke?  We keep on electing them!

Yup, I'm VERY proud of my American heritage (also French, Irish, and
English), but you've got to admit that Presidents would make good
stand up comedians.

Xref: sparky rec.humor:27692 alt.politics.clinton:3838 alt.politics.bush:3872
From: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu (lawrence finkel cis stnt)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton,alt.politics.bush
Subject: Re: How many Bush Vice-Presidents...
Date: 2 Sep 92 19:21:11 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.

In article <180dtiINNl3d@overload.lbl.gov> prem@prem.lbl.gov (Shirdi R. Prem) writes:
>In article <17us29INNc7c@early-bird.think.com> dm@think.com (dave mankins) writes:
>>
>>How many Bush Vice-Presidents does it take to change a lite-bulbe?
>
>	Er...... Twoe ??
>
>	Prem!
>
>  How many Iraqi air force officers does it take to change a light-bulb ??
>
>  -- One, provided he does it while standing between the third and fifth
>     steps of his ladder. Or else, the USAF will send in 300 fighters to
>     bomb baby-food factories in Baghdad, in order to save the Shi-ites
>     who are so beloved to George Bush, especially in an election year....
>
>================================================================================
>==  George Bush's New World Order :                                           ==
>==	Big white hegemonists beating up little brown hegemonists.            ==
>================================================================================
	FFFFFFFFFFFF                                     KKKK      KKK
        FFFFFFFFFFFF        ****            ****         KKKK     KKK
        FFFF                ****            ****         KKKK    KKK
        FFFF              *******          ******        KKKK   KKK
        FFFFFFFFFF      ************    ************     KKKK KKKK
        FFFFFFFFFF      ************    ************     KKKKKKKK
        FFFF               ******          ******        KKKK KKKK
        FFFF                ****            ****         KKKK   KKK
        FFFF                ****            ****         KKKK    KKK
        FFFF                                             KKKK     KKK   

               YYYY        YYYY      OOOOOO        UUUU        UUUU
	        YYYY      YYYY     OOOO   OOOO     UUUU        UUUU
                 YYYY    YYYY    OOOO       OOOO   UUUU        UUUU
                  YYYY  YYYY     OOOO       OOOO   UUUU        UUUU
                   YYYYYYYY      OOOO       OOOO   UUUU        UUUU
                     YYYY        OOOO       OOOO   UUUU        UUUU
                     YYYY        OOOO       OOOO   UUUU        UUUU
                     YYYY        OOOO       OOOO   UUUU        UUUU
                     YYYY         OOOO    OOOO      UUUU     UUUU
		     YYYY            OOOOOO           UUUUUUUUU
-- 
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
#                     Lawrence Finkel: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu                 #
#   "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."   #
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
From: rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Date: 1 Sep 92 18:11:52 +0200
Organization: University of Cape Town

In article <1992Aug28.143248.1673@unislc.uucp>, miket@unislc.uucp (Michael Thompson) writes:
> In article <1992Aug28.042920.6755@mel.dit.csiro.au> marek@mel.dit.csiro.au (Marek T. Michalewicz) writes:
>>
>>In article <1992Aug27.224020.29556@unislc.uucp>, miket@unislc.uucp (Michael Thompson) writes:
de;eted
>>|> into the water.  When I looked, there were little BBs in the bottom of the 
>>|> bathroom and passed some BBs right?  Lord No!, he replied, worse than that;
>>|> Cheers!
>>|> Mike Thompson                 |    It's true, forgiveness IS easier
>>|> Unisys UNIX Systems Group     |    to get than permission. ;-) 
>>
>>Cheers Mike,
>>
>>And what exactly BB's are?  ;^)
> 
> 
> Marek,  sorry, I made a false assumption that our international friends knew
> what BBs are.  A BB gun is an air powered rifle that shoots very small metal
> balls called BBs.  They are about one-eighth of an inch in diameter.  Sorry,
> I don't know what that equates to in metric measurements.
> 
> I guess not knowing what a BB is kind of takes some of the zing out of the
> punch line - sigh.
> Mike

Er - mike, I think you been had...AND ALL OF YOU FOLLOWING UP ON THESE POSTS,
PLEASE NOTE WHERE YOU ARE CROOS-POSTING AND TAKE OUT THE INAPPROPRIATE GROUPS:
THIS ONE IS FLAGGED FOR SOC.CULTURE.POLISH, FOR EXAMPLE (TILL I CHANGED IT)
 _________________________________________________________________________
|                                 |                                       |
|  Ed Rybicki                     |    Now you've got the hang of it      |
|  Dept Microbiology              | There's nothing you can't do with it  |
|  University of Cape Town        |         If you're very into it        |
|  PB Rondebosch 7700             |         You can't go wrong....        |
|  South Africa                   |                                       |
|  fax 27 21 650 4023             |              - Mad John               |
|  ed@micro.uct.ac.za             | (Ogden's Nut-Gone Flake, Small Faces) |
|_________________________________|_______________________________________|
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: osinski@chtm.eece.unm.edu (Marek Osinski)
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 92 00:40:30 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <1992Aug23.122547.1@research.ptt.nl> mschenk@research.ptt.nl (Mike Schenk +31 70 33 23926) writes:
>In article <1992Aug23.002524.20681@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>, marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>> In article <3279@dozo.and.nl> jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) writes:
>>>
>>>Ok, ObJoke:
>>>
>>>An Englishman (E), a Frenchman (F) and a Dutchman (D) are standing next
>>>to the grave of a deceased friend, mourning. 
>>>
>>>F: I still have to pay him 100 guilders, he lent me once. I know it's 
>>>   too late now, but take it as a token of my appreciation for him.
>>>
>>>The Frenchman drops a 100 guilder note into the grave.
>>>
>>>E: Yep, I still have to pay him 100 guilders too. Ok, I like what
>>>   you did, here's my note ...
>>>
>>>The Englishman drops a 100 guilder note into the grave too.
>>>
>>>D: Gee guys, I really appreciate your gesture. I still owe him
>>>   100 guilders too. But I'm a bit short on cash, I'll write
>>>   a 300 guilders cheque drop it in the grave and take the
>>>   two 100 guilder notes ok?
>>>
>>>kind regards and take it easy ...
>>>
>>>Jos aka jos@and.nl
>> 
>> Ye I guess you are right, the only thing that I would ask you
>> to do is to Post this joke in the English, French, and Dutch.
>> group, I'm curious how they will react.
>> 
>> mario s.
>
>Actually, this joke gives only a bad impression of Dutchmen. And 
>I don't think you will find any Dutchmen reacting to this joke as 
>was reacted to the polish joke. The best proof is probably that 
>Jos is Dutch himself and so am I and I really liked the joke and 
>do not feel insulted. And I think that on this point both Jos and 
>me represent the opinion of the average Dutchmen (except Jos does 
>not like 'spruitjes' but that's something completely different).
>
>    Mike

There is an important difference, though. The joke quoted by Jos
does not use any offensive terms for any of the nationalities involved.
Compare this with the "Polack". How would you interpret this term
if not as an expression of intentionally offensive language?

Marek Osinski
From: jdare@math.rutgers.edu (James Dare)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Grammar
Date: 3 Sep 92 15:00:59 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

In article <!-ln!8#@lynx.unm.edu> bantolph@carina.unm.edu (Bard's are the Best) writes:
>        Tis iz fer al u nurdz hoo, Ar stuk oN; kerrrektin gramir? wId diss
>rtikel yoo kIN hav lotz uv funn: an kerect (stuf untle (yer hartz desir@
>may be wile yer Buzy fiksin thiss u wil leve evry litel misteak Thatt 
>apeerz in odder artikels an stopp ANoyiN de resst uv uss wid yer anel 
>retentiv natur! hOO cars iff sumbudy fergot ann a-postrivfe merk sumware.
> 
> 	IFF ENYBUDY fIKSEZ DIS DEY R HOPLES!

Well put.   
(At least somebody else out there is tired of seeing *stupid* flames.)

OBjoke:  Q: Have you ever wondered what an ass looks like under plastic






         A: Have you got your driver's license?



                       JIM DARE :  jdare@math.rutgers.edu
                     --------------------------------------
A socialist, anti-family [putz] encouraging women to leave their husbands, kill
their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

               ("I just can't get these damn wrists to bleed!")
               (                         --Alice Cooper       )
               (%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%)
               (           Gibby Haynes for President!        )
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish
From: oaf@serverx.osf.org (Oded Feingold)
Subject: Polish-Jewish-(almost)Chinese yok
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Summary: So sorry, no flied lice
Keywords: FREE reference to a great book at the bottom of this posting!
Organization: Open Software Foundation
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 16:37:51 GMT

Sorry SCP, this is by request (really!)  It's not even hostile; well,
maybe a little.
	--------
WWII, Pacific theatre, early 1943: A planeload of US GIs is enroute
from Port Moresby to Chungking to join General Stilwell's Allied
Expeditionary Forces in China(*).

The Dakota transport takes off at midnight, flying without lights to
avoid interception by Japanese Zeroes.  By 0600 it is over the Chinese
mainland, and relatively safe.

Moe Kaplan and Si (Simon, Shimshon) Yankelovich, radio operators from
New York, are on the plane.  They sit next to Stanislav Mazur and Mark
Majewski, machinists from Pittsburgh. (Hey, I grew up in Pittsburgh,
so sue me.)

As dawn breaks, Moe puts on his shawl and phylacteries, preparatory
to the morning prayer.  Si is still dozing, so Moe says:
	"Kumm shoin Shimshoin, die Sonn' scheint shoin."
	(Come already, Simon, the sun's already shining.)
Stan nudges Marek and says "Lookit them Jews showing off - we're not
yet off the plane and already they're talking Chinese."

Rike I said, no flied lice.

Oded Feingold  oaf@osf.org     Contractor at  Open Software Foundation
OSF:   11 Cambridge Center     Cambridge,  Ma. 02142    (617) 621-7265
Home:  408 Broadway            Somerville, Ma. 02145    (617) 776-1225

(*) For an absolutely stupendous history of the US and China during
WWII, read Barbara Tuchman's STILWELL AND THE AMERICAN EXPERIENCE IN
CHINA.  Warning: the subject matter is so infuriating that you'd
better read it in a padded cell; you'll throw it against the wall a
few times.  Croyer-moi.

See, I didn't even say Pola- ... oops.
Xref: sparky rec.humor:27731 soc.culture.polish:2305 alt.censorship:7346
From: lbs@madeira.phys.ufl.edu (Lech Borkowski)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish,alt.censorship
Subject: Freedom of speech according to Friedman (was: Polack joke)
Date: 3 Sep 92 02:46:09 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: University of Florida Physics Department - CMT Group

In article <1992Aug27.195032.25832@oracle.us.oracle.com> mfriedma@uucp (Michael Friedman) writes:
>						  So stick it where it hurts.
 						  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 It is an interesting definition of freedom of speech.  

 Lech
 
P.S. Minor correction to my earlier response to Friedman's posting:
I misspelled the word "exercise" (in case someone would like to flame
me for that). 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rdc8@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Robert D Castro)
Subject: Need Labor Day Ascii pic
Reply-To: rdc8@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Robert D Castro)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 17:57:55 GMT


Could any of you friendly netters email me an ascii pic that could be
used to symbolize Labor Day.  Anything at all would be most helpful.

Thanks in advance

Rob C.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Request: Are Em Star
From: hamling@mdcbbs.com (Griff Hamlin III)
Date: 28 Aug 92 13:30:30 PDT
Distribution: world
Organization: M&E (Division of EDS), Cypress CA
Keywords: Star Wars

A few weeks ago, there was a parody of Star Wars posted I believe called
Are-Em Star (or something like that). I thought I saved it to disk, but
cannot find it now, and wondered if anyone out there might have saved
a copy and could mail it to me.

Thanks in advance

Griff Hamlin III
(hamling@mdcbbs.com)
From: GCL101@psuvm.psu.edu (Gary Lynch)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: blonde jokes
Date: 26 Aug 92 21:30:58 GMT
Article-I.D.: psuvm.92239.173058GCL101
Organization: Penn State University

this is probably an old topic, but i just discovered this board and would like
to hear any blonde jokes anyone can come up with.  since they have probably bee
n posted before, please e-mail them directly to me.
gary llynch
Newsgroups: rec.humor