Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Coca Cola dissolves meat?
From: derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne)
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 93 05:01:19 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand - Software Development Center

(Antony Cooper) muses:
>Thus spake derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek "call me Zarathustra" Tearne) 
>
>>I know a guy in South Africa who uses Coca Cola to marinate meat for 
>>Braais<tm> (barbeques to the rest of us).  He leaves the meat in Coke 
>>overnight and it becomes very nice and tender.  
 
>Then again, I also know someone in South Africa (actually, my brother) who
>has used Coca Cola to marinade chicken.
>
>Surprisingly, it tastes like chicken ...
>
>ObSouthAfricanUL: Braais were invented by South Africans.

Every civilised part of the world (i.e. somewhere which has a reasonable 
summer) has some form of outdoor cooking which starts with the letter B.

New Zealand       - Barbeque (8 letters long - reflecting ~100% literacy rate)
Good 'ole US of A - BBQ      (3 letters - reflecting national habit of 
			      shortening everything to 3 letters and making 
			      it look like a meaningful acronym).
Australia         - Barbie   (reflecting national habit of putting 'ie' on 
			      the end of words e.g. tinnie, cossie, chrissie,
			      relie etc.)
South Africa      - Braai    (reflecting national tendency to be Short, clipped 
			      and difficult to understand)

There are many similarities between these forms of cooking.  
In all cases the cooking is performed - with varying success - by men.  
Women are noted for their inability to cook in this fashion.
Each country thinks they invented this type of the cooking and no foreigner 
knows how to barbie/barbeque/BBQ/Braai.  
If there is a foreigner available they will be handed the implements and
left in control.  10 minutes later there will be cries of "You [insert ethnic
group here] don't know how to "Braai/Barbie/Barbeque/BBQ" here let me show 
you.  They then take great pride in loudly showing you how it's done. 

Being of British extraction (a country which doesn't count as civilised as 
there have only ever been two summers) this frequently happens to me.  This 
does however give me the unique opportunity to observe the intricacies of 
this cuisine.  In fact the cooking technique and results do vary quite 
considerably.

Barbie. The food is almost always burnt as the cooks have consumed so many
	tinnies.  This does have the side effect that no one actually notices 
	and they believe that the results are always perfect.
   
BBQ.  This is a hi-tech machine with microprocessor controlled gas flow and
      perfect results everytime.  This is helped by the specially prepared
      pre-cooked, unburnable 100% no meat patties.  I believe salad of sorts 
      may be available.  Although many 6 packs are consumed American beer is 
      so weak that no one gets drunk enough to burn the food - even if it 
      were possible to do so.

Barbeque. With superior ingredients, fresh vegetables in the salads it is 
	  hard to ruin an NZ barbeque.  The Kiwi male usually takes great 
	  pride in getting the flame exactly right.  Much strong beer is 
	  usually consumed but with forethought the food is cooked before too
	  much drunkeness abounds.

Braai. As much fuel as possible is used in this form of cooking.  A very
       fearsome flame is achieved and when the Boervors comes within a 
       kilometre of the the inferno the fat immediately ignites producing 
       amazing pyrotechnics.  To stop the food from forming a plasma and 
       dissapearing huge amounts of water are hosed on the Braai to cool 
       the whole shebang down.  The resulting food item is partly steamed 
       and partly grilled.  Surprisingly the result is quite edible.
       Salads are not available and remain uneaten if supplied.

Disclaimer:  I have only ever seen US BBQ's at the movies and am looking 
	     forward to my first at AFU West VIII - the BBQ.  


-- 
Derek Tearne.   --   derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz   --    Fujitsu New Zealand   -- 
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban