From: lsmith@atto.cs.umn.edu (Lance "Squiddie" Smith)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.misc
Subject: Re: Superman Revival Methods
Date: 21 Nov 92 04:02:20 GMT
Article-I.D.: news2.1992Nov21.040220.8938
Distribution: usa
Organization: The Little Squids of the Poor

In article <By1IrE.30A@news.cso.uiuc.edu> wogg0743@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (William Shakespeare) writes:
>Obviously I have too much free time but:

You and me both:

>     1) He's not really dead.  In the issue where he reveals his identity
>to Lois, it is established that a normal can't feel his pulse.  He colapses
>after being attacked by the Banshee (not the Marvel one) and Lois thinks
>he (as Clark) is dead because she can't find a pulse.  Counter-argument:
>Bloodwynd claims to have scanned him with his powers.  Counter-counter-
>argument, maybe Superman's forcefield negates said powers.

Alternative answer: Bloodwynd is in cahoots with Supes. (How much do we 
really know about Bloodwynd other than he's really The Martian Manhunter?)
Supes is taking a break from his duty. Soon to be seen in Perth. Call this
"The Elvis Theory." Is the world ready for reports of Supes working in a
7-11 in Tuckahoe?

>     2) He's dead, but he isn't really DEAD.  Maybe Kryptonians can't be
>killed permanently under a yellow sun.  Counter-argument:  I'd cancel my
>subscription if it turned out this way.

I'd bet money on this. I think it was Jurgens who was quoted as saying we
really don't understand Kryptonian physiology.

>     3) He's really dead, but somebody revives him.  Like that imp guy.  If
>he can rework reality all over Metropolis (the world?) to suit his 5th 
>dimensional sense of humor, then you better bet he could reanimate a dead
>body.  Counter-argument:  mind-boggling metaphysical and religious questions.
>Counter-counter-argument:  I love imp appearences.  Bring on the imp.

No way is the current staff ready to handle mind-boggling metaphysical and 
religious questions. It would take too long to bring them up to speed on 
this. People would think that DC really had killed Superman for good.

>     4) He's really dead, but someone can make a clone.  Counter-argument:
>aren't they canceling LSH for just this sort of silliness?

Maybe they just save his brain. (It's only resting at the moment.) Superbrain!
It has a ring to it. Maybe stick it into one of Cliff Steele's old bodies,
let Grant Morrison write the title for awhile.

The mind practically waltzes at the thought, don't it?

>     5) He's really dead, but somebody replaces him, at least until 1-4
>takes place in a later issue.  My guess is that Booster Gold is going to be
>turned into a genuine metahuman or get a green lantern ring.  That suit of
>his looks irreparable.  Maybe he'll decide to be grim and grittier new
>Superman.  Counter-argument:  I'd really like that black kid that Superman
>keeps saving to turn out to have metagene powers.  I want them to bring
>back Superboy.  What not a black Superboy?  I'd buy it.

Perhaps they'll ignore continuity and replace Supes with his Bizarro
equivalent. (They can so do it if they really want to!) I'd buy that.

>    6) He's really dead, but someone will monkey with the time stream.
>Waverider can raise the dead this way.  Counter-argument:  Please, no more
>alternate time-line stories.  Please.  Please.  Please

So the Flash gets back into the Cosmic Treadmill and runs really, really 
fast...

>    7) He's really dead, but DC will start publishing "untold stories" that
>happened in the time before he died.  Counter-argument:  Actually, this would
>be pretty cool.  Hence, it won't happen.

Oh definitely not. This would make a great book. Call it Superman's Wake.
Assorted superheroes telling Superman stories, each trying to top the 
others. In the right hands, this could be quality material. It won't 
happen.

>    8) He's really dead, but DC will follow his adventures in the afterlife.
>Counter-argument:  Hey, Neil, when's the next Miracleman going to get here
>already?

Let's see, it's what? November? Eclipse says MM #28 should be hitting the 
stands any second now. B{) 

>    9) He's really dead, but it turns out to have just been a dream, so he is
>not really dead.  Counter-argument:  I don't want to go to prison for murdering
>the entire DC editorial staff with a rusty nail.

I was just going to burn down the building. If it is just a dream, where 
should we meet in New York? Can we spare the Vertigo editorial staff?
Or must we make an example of the whole mob?

>   10) He's really dead, but Krypto comes back.  Counter-argument:  This makes
>no sense, but I want them to bring back Krypto!  Make him a Star Labs
>experiment.   Make him a Durlan trapped in dog shape.  Anything.  A super man
>needs a super dog.

But does a super dog need a super owner? Let's not bring up the Legion of
Super Pets, shall we?

----------------------------
  Lance "Cr2O3.2H2O" Smith | "Quick! Get behind me! I don't know what a
    (lsmith@cs.umn.edu)    |  little peanut like you could do to so upset
     Absinthe makes the    |  him, but it looks like Doomsday really wants 
      time grow softer     |  to kill you"    _Mr Peanut meets Superman_