HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: Funny firms/place names
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 16:15:10 GMT

In article <19900.2b00d356@ul.ie> mckeonj@ul.ie writes:
>This is prompted by the "funny law firm names" thread.
>In Bawmuf (my native heath) there is a firm called
>Geare & Lynk; not alas engineers but estate agents.
>Incidentally, Bawmuf is the correct local pronunciation
>of Bournemouth. There are a number of places whose
>pronunciation differs from official spelling, and they
>are not confined to Britain.
>So lets start a list!
>Bawmuf
>Lester
>Arkensaw
>Bristle
>Abendon
>LaHolla
 ^^^^^^^<------LaHoya
>Caja
Wooster
>-- 
>"If England sleeps, shall Ireland dream?" : Se/an macEoin
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
>John McKeon, Material Science Dept. University of Limerick, Ireland


-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Calling for humor, yeah, humor
From: corbin@gacvx2.gac.edu
Date: 8 Nov 92 17:12:54 -0600
Organization: Gustavus Adolphus College, St. Peter, Minnesota

Okay, time for a little help me out thing:

I am about. . .(checking my watch, here). . .three weeks away from a supposedly
exhaustive study of humor and jokes.  It was assigned the second day of the
semester, and being the good little procrastinator that I am, I put it off
until now.  

What I would like from all you wonderfully humorous people (at least in your own
minds), is a little compilation of jokes, humorous anecdotes, and even your
ideas concerning the use of and importance of humor in present day life (this
only if you are either feeling intellectual or silly).  Who know, perhaps if
all goes well, I will publish (probably only on this newsgroup) the anthology
along with my paper (I have a rather good sense of humor, I reply modestly,
even if your jokes aren't funny, I know I can make the paper that way.)  

As to the types of jokes you can submit, well, anything will do (I don't become
offended easily), but if it's not original, and you do know the source, I would
appreciate it if you could.

Thanks much, and let the games begin!

Anticipating your replies,

ECK
----------------
"Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it, but always look at the bright
side of life. . ."

---------------
to respond, just reply to this posting

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jbuckner@lonestar.utsa.edu (James A. Buckner)
Subject: Re: More CLinton Jokes
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 14:05:04 GMT

In article <BxG21u.2sy@access.digex.com> brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard) writes:
>In article <1de0o9INN5p5@rave.larc.nasa.gov> DEVILBISS@OCTAVE.LARC.NASA.GOV (Dirk Gently) writes:
>>> Why does hillary have a grimace on her face?
>>>Bill forgot to take the di*** out.
>>>                                  ^^^^^^^
>>>Why did Bill use the di***?
>>>                              ^^^^^^^
>>>Because Hillary bit it off!
>>
>>Fine . . . What's a di***?
>
>Jeeez, everybody knows 'di***' is the perverted way to say 'diode'!
>
>

Anyone can see it was dildo I was aiming for.

Try to keep the net clean and people still don't get the message.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jbuckner@lonestar.utsa.edu (James A. Buckner)
Subject: More CLinton Jokes
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 13:47:40 GMT

*********************************************************************
The following is a repost of some Clinton jokes. These may have been 
repeated, but so what? Here we go
*********************************************************************

Here are some more Clinton jokes:

Well, just a thought.

You know, it would be a peachy keen idea for someone to paste the heads of
Bill, Hillary, Al, and Tipper on a porno movie, and doing around the world
several times.

The movie would be called "The Great 'Ol Party"

The repub's talk about the grand old party, but these guys would go at it
24 hours a day.

*******

Why does Hillary have a big mouth?
She likes to bl** whales.

Why does hillary have a grimace on her face?
Bill forgot to take the di*** out.

Why did Bill use the di***?
Because Hillary bit it off!

Why did Gennifer Flowers leave Bill and talked?
Bill had NOTHING to give her!

About the porno film,
                       Slick Willie bl*** the country.

And a Perot Joke:
                  Doesn't Perot look like Radar 30 years later?

And another Clinton joke:

Hillary isn't just butt ugly, she's up-butt ugly!

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mattb@ssc-vax (Matt Baney)
Subject: Favorite Quotes
Reply-To: mattb@ssc-vax.boeing.com (Matt Baney)
Organization: Boeing Aerospace & Electronics
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 05:31:20 GMT

I'm trying to compile a list of all time favorite quotes
to include in a customized fortune/motd program, and I'd
like to hear some of the favorites from the net.
Thanks
matt     "Unpredictable things are hard to predict"

-- 
|  Matt Baney         | Boeing Defense and Space Division    |
|  -----------------  |   Knowledge Systems Group            |
| "I can't tolerate   | UUCP:        ..!bcstec!ssc-vax!mattb |        
| intolerant people!" | Internet:   mattb@ssc-vax.boeing.com |
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: comm.mot.com (relgov)
Subject: Re: Mommy Mommy
Organization: Motorola Land Mobile Products Sector
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 18:52:28 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor

In article <u906451.721226466@bruny>, u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Damien
Saunders) wrote:
> 
> crwilson@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu writes:
> 
> >I need mommy_mommy jokes.
> 
> > I can only think of one:
> 
> > Kid: Mommy, mommy, why do I keep going in circles?
> > Mommy: shut-up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor, too!
> Kid: Mommy, mommy, I hate my sister's guts.
> Mommy: Shut up and keep eating.
> 

Kid: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl?
Mommy: Shut up and flush the toilet.
From: mtf39190@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael T Freeman)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Green Golf Ball Joke
Date: 11 Nov 92 16:05:09 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

herm@merlin.etsu.edu (Herman H. Fredriksson) writes:

>Two years ago, I read the funniest joke I ever set
>my eyes upon, but alas, I've lost my copy of it.
>Could someone please repost the Green Golf Ball Joke?

	I may have a copy, and even though it is probably the FUNNIEST
joke I've ever heard, posting it isn't worth the FLAMES. . .:-)

-- 
        --Just for the record, I did               Michael Freeman
          NOT vote for Billary Clinton... 	   mtf39190@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu
						   U of I at Urbana/Champaign
From: m484443r@edinboro.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: No Talking Allowed
Date: 10 Nov 92 03:54:33 GMT
Article-I.D.: edinboro.1992Nov9.235433.9038
Organization: Edinboro University of Pennsylvania

In article <1992Nov3.173215.14884@ultb.isc.rit.edu>, akn8257@ritvax.isc.rit.edu ( Arun ) writes:
> Here is another one:
> 
>               $ 1   =  100c
>                     =  10c * 10c
>                     
		     (=  10 * 10c)	
		  {BUZZ} thank you for playing.
			

Mark Rickard -- "Overdosed on sentiment and pride."  Marillion, _Script FAJT_
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade
From: galt%peruvian.cs.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu (Greg Alt)
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Date: 5 Nov 92 17:12:42 MST
Followup-To: alt.cascade
Reply-To: galt%peruvian.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu
Organization: University of Utah, CS Dept., Salt Lake City

Mark 'Henry' Komarinski writes:
>Greg Alt writes:
>>Paul Martz writes:
>>>Greg Alt writes:
>>>>Daniel M Silevitch writes:
>>>>>Seth L. Blumberg writes:
>>>>>>Matt Welsh writes:
>>>>>>>Michael L. Kaufman writes:
>>>>>>>>This is all very funny, but haven't you people ever heard of the
>>>>>>>>concept of trimming? Do we actually need to see the same 50 or so
>>>>>>>>lines over and over again?
>>>>>>>Ever hear of a cascade? *grin*
>>>>>>No, I haven't.  What's a cascade? ;-)
>>>>>BTW, this is not a true cascade. True cascades consist of all 
>>>>>one line posts that end in rhymes.
>>>>They do not.
>>>Sometimes they do.
>>No they don't.
>We're not arguing..this is simply a contradiction....
No it isn't.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard)
Subject: Re: Presidential Election Joke
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 14:03:07 GMT

In article <1992Nov4.130144.1162@bmw.mayo.edu> tcg@mayo.edu writes:
>Don't know who made this up, heard it this morning on a local radio station
>(KROC):
>
>
>Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving
>    this year?
>A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!

A2: Because they can't afford any more pork

A3: Reagan ate all the jellybeans

A4: They've been having turkey FOR YEARS

A5: Because Bill is having Gennifer

A6: Because Clinton "invested" all the turkey.

Brat Wizard
From: kml@cellar.org (Scott Tiger)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Adam and Eve II
Date: 11 Nov 92 16:53:32 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system


One day God went to find Adam and Eve in the garden, but found that Adam
was sitting by himself.  "Where's Eve?" He asked.

"Well," said Adam, "She started to bleed.  This happens every month or
so."

"So where is she?" asked God.

"Well, she went down to the river to wash up." replied Adam.

"Damn," said God.  "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish."


                  Something constructive should come here.
  kml%cellar@tredysvr.tredydev.unisys.com - My other account is a Mercedes.
From: umwawry1@ccu.umanitoba.ca (Brian Frank Wawryk)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Things that make you go hmm... (Reprise)
Date: 6 Nov 92 22:24:58 GMT
Article-I.D.: ccu.BxBFLn.Fp0
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Canada

In <1992Nov6.044925.5502@meaddata.com> dlovely@meaddata.com (David Lovely) writes:
>A UNIcycle has 1 wheel
>A BIcycle has 2 wheels
>A TRIcycle has 3 wheels
>Why does a SEMI have 18 wheels?
>HMM...
Because it isn't a "cycle".  Otherwise it would be a "semicycle"??????
        ----------------------------------------------------------
       /\ \\\\        **** \   Brian F. Wawryk                    \
      ///\   \\\\    ****   \   University of Mantioba             \
     /////\     \\\\****     \   Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada         \
    ///////\       \\\\       \   e-mail: umwawry1@ccu.umanitoba.ca  \
   /////////\     ****\\\\     \                                      \
   ----------\   ****    \\\\   \   "Give it all you got...            \
              \ ****        \\\\ \    then borrow from your neighbour." \
               ----------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.tasteless.jokes
From: brat@access.digex.com (Brat Wizard)
Subject: Bambi's Night in the Forest
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 10:13:26 GMT


Early one morning, a haggard-looking doe drags her way out of the forest....

"That's the last time I do *THAT* for two bucks!", she says.


Brat
From: ahummel@ems.cdc.com (H. Austin Hummel)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Texas joke...
Date: 8 Nov 92 15:43:58 GMT
Reply-To: you@ems.cdc.com
Organization: Empros Systems International, a division of CDC

In article <1992Nov6.222415.12642@utagraph.uta.edu>, patil@cse.uta.edu (Basavaraj B Patil) writes:
|> 
|> 
|> The owner of a large furniture store from Texas  arrived in France
|> on a buying trip.  As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an
|> acquaintance with a beautiful young lady.  However, she only spoke
|> French and he only spoke English, so each couldn't understand a word
|> the other spoke.  He took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a
|> picture of a taxi.  She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a
|> ride in the park.  Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant
|> with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to dinner.  After
|> dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted.  They went to
|> several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious
|> evening.  It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and
|> drew a picture of a four-poster bed.  He was dumbfounded, and has never
|> be able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.


That Guy was not from Texas mabey Utah.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jshg1134@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Jeffrey S. Hoeft)
Subject: request unix pranks
Summary: request unix pranks
Keywords: request unix pranks
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 04:23:17 GMT



Is there an FTP site where I can get some Unix pranks? ie a program which
will cause windows to go haywire, the screen to melt unexpectedly, etc.

Thanks in advance,

Jeff
j-hoeft@uiuc.edu
	  

Subject: Hard Drive Wanted
From: higa@sun.lclark.edu (Keith Higa)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: The proof against existence?
Date: 9 Nov 92 02:16:45 GMT
Article-I.D.: lclark.1992Nov9.021645.23986
Organization: Lewis & Clark College, Portland OR

I remember once a quasi-mathematical proof against existence, that had to
do with space and planets, but for the life of me I can't remember how it
went.  If someone knows, can they post it or e-mail it to me?

Thanks in advance.

-- 
Keith K. Higa                         Lewis & Clark College    
higa@lclark.edu                       Portland, OR, USA
In a hierarchy each member tends to rise to his/her level of incompetence.
                                 --The Peter Principle
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bgohari@wam.umd.edu (Babak Gohari)
Subject: Re: Cacade?
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 03:24:44 GMT

In article <1992Nov8.210500.12929@wam.umd.edu> mmeltzer@wam.umd.edu writes:
>In article <1djctrINNco9@MINERVA.CIS.YALE.EDU> juneja-anurag@yale.edu  
>(Anurag Juneja) writes:
>:-> 
>:-> >|> MW>>This is all very funny, but haven't you people ever heard of  
>the
>:-> >|> MW>>concept of trimming? Do we actually need to see the same 50 or  
>so
>:-> >|> MW>>lines over and over again?
>:-> >|> 
>:-> >|> MW>Ever hear of a cascade? *grin*
>:-> >|> 
>:-> >|> I wonder if I could make one begin?
>:-> >     You could, but it would be a sin.
>:->        I better get my whiskey and gin.	
>	      This is making me spin!!
            Try hitting the donkey's tail with the pin.
From: tsv@Unify.com (Tim Vannaman)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: pickup lines
Date: 12 Nov 92 19:46:11 GMT
Organization: Unify Corporation (Sacramento)

In article <92Nov10.202728.26640@acs.ucalgary.ca>, darmstro@acs.ucalgary.ca (Debby Armstrong) writes:
> Jeffrey.J.Olson@dartmouth.edu (Jeffrey J. Olson) writes:
> >I bet I could guess your weight if you sat on my face.
> >You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
> 
> Ohhh, what a man - I bet you do real well with the ladies.
> Nothing like a man who knows how to whisper sweet "nothings".
> ;)

How much do you Weigh, Debbie?   C'mere, pull up  a seat! :)
From: sparker@gmuvax.gmu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Re:fag jokes
Date: 7 Nov 92 01:53:14 -0500
Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, VA.

In article <1992Oct26.220314.3364@awdprime.austin.ibm.com>, Zoopy writes:
> In <1992Oct23.114806.8810@edinboro.edu> m889625c@edinboro.edu writes:
>>Grow up already.  Minority hatred isn't funny.
> No, but fags are.

                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Oh God!  Another politically correct wimp!!

SPARKER @GMUVAX.GMU.EDU
From: T9214517@phillip.edu.au (BIGGUS DICKUS)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Dyslexic joke
Date: 5 Nov 1992 21:29:23 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

Ok
	How about the dyslexic devil-worshipper
	
	he sold his soul to SANTA
 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|     _/_/_/    _/    _/_/_/  _/    _/  |                            |
|    _/    _/  _/  _/        _/    _/   | Rich Horwood.              |
|   _/_/_/    _/  _/        _/_/_/_/    | R.M.I.T. (Bundoora campus) |
|  _/  _/    _/  _/        _/    _/     | T9214517@phillip.edu.au    |
| _/    _/  _/    _/_/_/  _/    _/      |                            |
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
| Disclaimer : /dIs'kleime/ n. The renouncing, repudiating or        |
|              denying of a claim; disavowal.                        |
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: locker@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Jon Locker)
Subject: Re: Bush, Clinton,Ducks,Sex
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 21:48:27 GMT
Keywords: Stupid Joke, Get a Life, Stay Off Rec.Humor, Oh, shit are you a doctor

In article <1992Nov2.154747.1@gallua.gallaudet.edu> 11srust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust) writes:
>In article <1992Oct30.103115.1@vms.ocom.okstate.edu>, chorley@vms.ocom.okstate.edu writes:
>> This is cross posted elsewhere, But I made it up, so it's my original joke 
>> and those of you who want to use it, send $5 to .....
>> 
>> George Bush made a joke about a duck going into a bar and the bartender 
>> saying: "Hey, your pants are down". Unfortunately, he had to explain the 
>> joke with the pun on duck, pants are down...
>> 
>> 	When Bill Clinton heard about the story of "duck, pants are down",
>> He said:
>> " Won't he ever quit going on about my draft record and my personal life?"
>-- 
>
>	I'm sorry, but this is possibly the stupidest joke I've ever heard. My
>advice to you is to keep the day job. (And whatever you do, stay the Hell off
>of rec.humor. Remember, this is supposed to be _funny_)

Yeah, I agree with Scott.  This is a *lame* duck joke.

har har haaardy har har

>*****************************************************************************
>* Scott A. Rust       *11srust@gallua.gallaudet.edu *  "A stupid person     *  
__
Jon Locker
U. of Illinois
"na na na na/ na na na na/ hey hey - goodbye!"
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gspncm@ritvax.isc.rit.edu (Minister of Misinformation)
Subject: Urban Jokes
Reply-To: gspncm@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 14:31:27 GMT

The farmer is sitting on his front porch in the rain, and the city person
asks, "Why don't you sit inside?"

"Can't.  Roof's leakin'."

"Why don't you fix it?"

"Can't.  It's rainin'".

"Why don't you fix it when it's not raining?"

"Ain't leakin' then."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: RE: Blonde joke
From: trembly_j@qis.dofasco.ca
Date: 8 Nov 92 02:12:26 GMT
Organization: Dofasco Inc, Hamilton, Ont. Can.
Nntp-Posting-User: trembly_j


Why was the blonde's belly button sore ?


Her boyfriend is blonde too !!!!!


-- 
______________________________________________________________________________
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
John J. Trembly					 Dofasco Inc.
(TREMBLY_J@QIS.DOFASCO.CA)			 1330 Burlington St. East
(416) 544-3761 X6291				 Hamilton,Ont. L8N 3J5 Canada
______________________________________________________________________________
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Airline acronyms and names
From: Rahul Verma <worm+@CMU.EDU>
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 20:14:20 -0500 
Organization: Sophomore, Math/Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

Excerpts from netnews.rec.humor: 13-Nov-92 Re: Airline acronyms and
names by Grendel@cck.coventry.ac. 
> >
> >       The thread on car names is going so well I thought I'd take
the libert
> y
> >of starting one for airline acronyms and similar joke names. I have
many, but
>  
> >you may certainly want to add some.
> >
> >TWA-Try Walking Across
> >Teeny Weeeny Airlines
> >
> >DELTA-Don't Even Leave The Airport
> >
> >EL AL-Every Landing Always Late
> >
> >PIA (Pakistan India Airways, the official airline of Pakistan (surprise))
> >Please Inform Allah
> >
> >Northwest Orient-Northworst Disorient
> >(personal experience helped for that one)
> >
> >Air France-Air Chance
> >
> >These are all I can remember for the moment. Contributions are welcome.
> >
>  
> QANTAS - Queenies And Nymphomaniac Transvestite Air Stewards

Lufthansa
Let us fuck the hostess and not say anything.

Rahul Verma
worm+@cmu.edu
From: MFM104@psuvm.psu.edu (Markus)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: SEX APPLICATION
Date: 13 Nov 92 00:32:23 GMT
Organization: Penn State University



                       APPLCATION FOR A PIECE OF ASS




NAME: __________________________ ADDRESS: ______________________________

AGE:  _________ PHONE: ___________________  SSN: _______________________

COLOR OF HAIR: ______________ REAL?: _________ COLOR OF EYES: __________

DENTURES?: ________ WEIGHT: _______ HEIGHT: _______ WAIST SIZE: ________

CHEST SIZE or BRA SIZE: __________ MARIRAL STATUS: MARRIED___  SINGLE___
                                                   DIVORCED___ OTHER____

ARE BREAST or BALLS REAL? ______ DO YOU LIKE THEM: SUCKED____ CHEWED____
                                 KISSED____ CARRESSED____ SQUEEZED____
                                 NONE OF THE ABOVE____ OTHER____

CAN YOU STAY OUT LATE? ___ HOWLATE? ___ ALL NIGHT? ___ SEVERAL DAYS? ___

DO YOU LIKE TO BE SCREWED? ___ HOW OFTEN? ____ DO YOU LIKE ORAL SEX? ___

PENIS OR PUSSY SIZE: SMALL ____ MEDIUM ____ LARGE ____ EXTRA LARGE ____
    (DONT LIE)

WHILE SCREWING: DO YOU FAINT__ FART__ CRY__ MOAN__ HUM__ WHISTLE__
                       SCREAM__ YODEL__ SCRATCH__ JUST LAY THERE__
                       GO TO SLEEP__ ALL OF THE ABOVE__

LIST THE TOP 3 POSITIONS YOU LIKE THE BEST: 1)___________________________
                                            2)___________________________
                                            3)___________________________

WHEN YOU CUM DO YOU: WIGGLE__ WOBBLE__ TWIST__ JERK__ SCEAM__ CRY__
               OR DO YOU....  JUST START HUMPING LIKE HELL_________

WHAT KIND OF SCREW DO YOU LIKE? FAST__ SUPER FAST__ SLOW__ ALL NIGHT___

HOW MANY TIMES? _________________ COMMENTS ______________________________

HOW LONG DO YOU LIKE TO SCREW AT ONE INTERVAL? __________________________

IF YOU HAVE SCREWED BEFORE, GIVE TWO(2) REFERENCES (NOT IMMEDIATE FAMILY)
NAME:_______________________ ADDRESS:___________________ PHONE:__________
NAME:_______________________ ADDRESS:___________________ PHONE:__________

IF APPLICATION IF FAVORABLE, WHAT ARE YOUR CHARGES_______ IF NOT_________
ONE NIGHT______ ONE HOUR_____ MUFF BURGER SPECIAL OR BLOW JOB?___________

WHAT CREDIT CARDS WILL YOU ACCEPT? MASTER CARD___ VISA___ AMER EXPRESS___
SEARS___ JC PENNEY'S___ ALL OF THE ABOVE___ OTHERS___
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dws@ssec.wisc.edu (DaviD W. Sanderson)
Subject: Re: Smileys WANTED
Followup-To: rec.humor.d
Organization: UW-Madison Space Science and Engineering Center
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 00:37:17 GMT

In article <1992Nov5.025051.5538@wam.umd.edu> hologram@wam.umd.edu (C. Carlson) writes:
>I'm looking for the comprehensive list of smiley faces.

My smiley program (containing the largest and most comprehensive
collection of smileys ever posted) was most recently posted in
comp.sources.misc, volume 23.  See your nearby comp.sources.misc
archive site to obtain it.  (Yes, I'm working on the next release.)

The comp.sources.misc index line:

v23i102   smiley/part01      smiley - smiley server, version 4, Part01/01

Here are a few anonymous FTP sites and paths:

wuarchive.wustl.edu:
	usenet/comp.sources.misc/volume23/smiley/part01.Z
uunet.uu.net:
	comp.sources.misc/volume23/smiley/part01.Z

Ask your system administrator if you don't know what anonymous FTP is.

DaviD W. Sanderson (dws@ssec.wisc.edu)

	"The Noah Webster of smileys is David Sanderson"
		- The Wall Street Journal, 15 Sep 1992
Xref: sparky rec.humor:33498 alt.folklore.computers:16073 alt.cascade:3160