From: Otto Heuer #3 <ottoh3@cfsmo.honeywell.com>
Subject: FAQL: STAR TREK MUSIC
To: rec.arts.startrek.misc
Posted-Date: Thu, 1 Oct 92 00: 05:50 -0500
Organization: Honeywell Systems & Research Center
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 05:05:50 GMT
Received-Date: Thu, 1 Oct 92 00: 05:22 CDT


	 PERIODIC LIST OF STAR TREK MUSIC (last updated 7/15/92)

"Theme from Star Trek" (The Original Series) 
Lyrics by Gene Roddenberry 
 
     Beyond 
          The rim of the star-light 
     My love 
          Is wand'ring in star-flight 
     I know 
          He'll find in star-clustered reaches 
     Love 
          Strange love a star woman teaches. 
     I know 
          His journey ends never 
     His star trek 
          Will go on forever. 
     But tell him 
     While he wanders his starry sea 
          Remember, remember me. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"The Goodland"  1:05
from TOS "The Way to Eden" 
sung by Adam 
 
     Lookin' for the goodland, 
          Goin' astray. 
     Don't cry, 
          Don't cry. 
     Oh I can't have honey 
          And I can't have cream 
     Goin' live not die, 
          Goin' live not die. 
     Standin' in the middle of it all one day. 
          Look at it shining around me and say. 
     I'm here, 
          I'm here. 
     In the goodland, 
          in the new land, 
     I'm here. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"Hey Out There!" 2:35 
from TOS "The Way to Eden" 
sung by Adam and blonde female friend 
 
     I'm talkin' 'bout you, 
          I'm talkin' 'bout me. 
     Long time back when the galaxy was new. 
     Man found out what he had to do. 
     Found he had to eat and he found he had to drink, 
          And a long time later he found he had to think. 
     Yes, think. 
 
     [I'm standing here wondering -- What?] 
 
     If a man tells another man, 
          How to mow hay.
     He piles up trouble for himself all day. 
     But all kinds of trouble will come to an end. 
     When a man tells another man, 
          Be my friend. 
     My friend. 
 
     [Well what's it going to be?] 
 
     There's a mile wide emptiness, 
          Between you and me. 
     [Let's|Can't] reach across it, 
          [On an even sea|Hardly even see]. 
     Someone ought'a take a step, 
          One way or other. 
     Let's say goodbye, 
          Or let's say brother. 
 
     Brother! 
          Brother! 
     Hey out there... 
          Hey out there. 
     Hey out there... 
          Hey out there. 
     I see you... 
          I see you. 
     I see you... 
          I see you. 
 
     Let's get together and have some fun. 
 
     [I don't know how to do it, 
          But it's gotta be done.] 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"Heading Out to Eden" 1:35 
from TOS "The Way to Eden" 
sung by Adam and blonde female friend 
 
     Heading out to Eden, 
          Yeah brother. 
     Heading out to Eden, 

     No more trouble 
          In my body or my mind. 
     Goin' to live like a king 
          On whatever I find. 
     Eat all the fruit 
          And throw away the rind. 
     Yeah brother, yeah. 
 
     Steppin' in to Eden, 
          Yeah brother. 
     Steppin' in to Eden, 
          Yeah brother. 
     No more trouble 
          In my body or my mind. 
     Goin' to live like a king 
          On whatever I find. 
     Eat all the fruit 
          And throw away the rind. 
     Yeah brother. 
 
note: The two verses are separated by dialogue.  The first half is sung slow, 
      about 1:05.  The second is sung faster. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"Charlie's Song"
from TOS "Charlie X"?
sung by Uhura

     Now on the Starship Enterprise
          There [comes a man|is someone who's] in Satan's guise
     Whose devil ears and devil eyes
          Will rip your heart from you ...

     At first his look will hypnotise
          And then his touch will barbarize
     His alien love will victimize
          And rip your heart from you.

     And that's why female astronauts 
          [Are overcome and overwrought|Oh very female astronauts]
     [Many a female astronaut|Wait terrified and over-wrought]
          [They know not|To find out] what to he'll do.

     Oh girls in space be wary
          Be wary
     Oh girls in space be wary
          You know not what he'll do.

     Now from a planet out in space
     There comes a lad not commonplace
     A-seeking out his first embrace
          He's saving it for you.

     Oh, Charlie's our new darling,
          Our darling, our darling.
     Charlie's our new darling
          [He knows not what to do|We know not what he'll do]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"The Friendly Angel Song" 
from TOS "And The Children Shall Lead" 
sung by The Children 

     Hail, hail,
          Fire and snow.
     Call the angel
          We will go.

     Far away.
          For to see.
     Friendly Angel
          Come to me.

     Hail, hail,
          Fire and snow.
     Call the angel
          We must go.

     Far to come
          Far to see
     Friendly Angel
          Come to me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"Beyond Antares"
from TOS "Conscience of the King"
sung by Uhura
written (I think) by Gene Coon

     The skies are green and glowing
          Where my heart is,
          Where my heart is,
     Where the scented lunar flower is growing,
          Somewhere beyond the stars,
          Beyond Antares.

     I'll be back
          Though it takes forever.
          Forever is just a day.
     Forever is just another journey.
          Tomorrow I'll stop along the way,

     And let the years go fading
          Where my heart is,
          Where my heart is,
     Where my love eternally is waiting,
          Somewhere beyond the stars,
          Beyond Antares.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"Alexander's Song"
from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
sung by Alexander

     Great pan sounds his horn 
          Marking time to the rhyme
     With his hoof, 
          With his hoof.
     Forward, forward in [our|his] plan,
          We proceed as we began....
     Brekekekex... brekekekex...
          Kooax... kooax...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"A Serenade From the Laughing Spaceman"
from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
sung by Spock

     Take care young ladies and value your wine.
          Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime.
     Deeply they'll swallow from your finest kegs,
          Then swiftly be gone, leaving bitter dregs.
          Ah, bitter dregs.

     Your time hold precious, for youth is your gold.
          Your beauty, like silver, will tarnish when old.
     Mem'ries and dreams shall comfort you not.
          When the flow of your sweetness is gone and forgot.
          Ah, gone and forgot.

     With smiling words and tender touch,
          Man offers little and asks for so much.
     He['ll] love[s] in the breathless excitement of night,
          [Then|And] leave[s] with your treasure in cold morning light.
          Ah, [in] cold morning light.

     Come all ye fair and tender girls
          Who flourish in your prime,
     Beware, beware, make your garden fair
          Let no man steal your time, your time
          Let no man steal your time.

     A woman is a branched tree
          And a man a singing wind,
     And from her branches carelessly
          He'll take what he can find, can find
          He'll take what he can find.

     And when your time has passed and gone,
          He'll care no more for you,
     And every day that your garden is waste,
          Is covered all over with rue, with rue
          Is covered all over with rue.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
(untitled)
from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren"
sung by Kirk (and Spock?)

     I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum.
          We're spacemen marching to and from.
     We slythe among the mimsy troves,
          And tire among the borogroves.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"Good Night Sweetheart"
from TOS "City on the Edge of Forever"
heard on radio (and melody continues throughout episode)

     Good Night Sweetheart, tho' I'm not beside you
          Good Night Sweetheart, still my love will guide you
     Dreams enfold you, in each one I'll hold you
          Good Night Sweetheart, Good Night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen"
from TOS "The Naked Time"
sung by Kevin Reiley (calling himself "O'Reiley")
     
     I'll take you home again, Kathleen,
          Across the ocean wild and wide,
     To where your heart has ever been,
          Since first you were my bonnie bride.
     The roses all have left your cheek,
          I've watched them fade away and die;
     Your voice is sad whene'er you speak,
          And tears bedim your loving eyes.

     Oh! I will take you back, Kathleen,
          To where your heart will feel no pain,
     And when the fields are fresh and green,
          I'll take you to your home again.
     (One More Time!!!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"Abdullah Bulbul Amir" 
from TNG "Brothers" 
sung by Lore (only a few lines) 
 
[version 1] 
     The sons of the Prophet as valiant and bold, 
          And quite unaccustomed to fear; 
     And the bravest of all was a man, so I'm told 
          Called Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
 
     When they wanted a man to encourage the van, 
          Or harass the foe from the rear, 
     Storm fort or redoubt, they were sure to call out 
          For Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
 
     There are heroes in plenty, and well known to fame, 
          In the legions that fight for the Czar; 
     But none of such fame as the man by the name 
          Of Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
 
     He could imitate Irving, tell fortunes by cards, 
          And play on the Spanish guitar; 
     In fact, quite the cream of the Muscovite guards, 
          Was Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
 
     One day this bold Muscovite shouldered his gun, 
          Put on his most cynical sneer, 
     And was walking downtown when he happened to run 
          Into Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
 
     "Young man," say Bulbul, "is existence so dull 
          That you're anxious to end your career? 
     Then, infidel, know you have trod on the toe 
          Of Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
 
     "So take your last look at the sea, sky and brook, 
          Make your latest report on the war; 
     For I mean to imply that you are going to die, 
          O Ivan Petrovsky Skovar." 
 
     So this fierce man he took his trusty chibouk, 
          and murmuring "Allah Akbar!" 
     With murder intent he most savagely went 
          For Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
 
     The Sultan rose up, the disturbance to quell 
          Likewise, give the victor a cheer. 
     He arrived just in time to bid hasty farewell 
          To Abdullah Bulbul Amir. 
 
     A loud-sounding splash from the Danube was heard 
          Resounding o'er meadows afar; 
     It came from the sack fitting close to the back 
          Of Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
 
     There lieth a stone where the Danube doth roll, 
          And on it in characters queer 
     Are "Stranger, when passing by, pray for the soul 
          Of Abdullah Bulbul Amir." 
 
     A Muscovite maiden her vigil doth keep 
          By the light of the pale northern star, 
     And the name she repeats every night in her sleep 
          Is Ivan Petrovsky Skovar. 
 
[version 2] 
     The sons of the Prophet were brave men and bold, 
          And quite unaccustomed to fear. 
     But the bravest of all was a man I am told 
          Named Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
 
     When they needed a man to encourage the van 
          Or harass a foe from the rear. 
     Storm fort or redoubt they had only to shout 
          For Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
 
     This son of the desert in battle aroused 
          Could split twenty men on his spear. 
     A terrible creature when sober or soused 
          Was Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
 
     The heroes were plenty and well known to fame 
          That fought in the ranks of the Czar. 
     But the greatest of these was a man by the name 
          Of Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
 
     He could imitate Irving, play poker or pool 
          And strum on the Spanish guitar. 
     In fact quite the cream of the Muscovite team 
          Was Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
 
     The ladies all loved him, his rivals were few 
          He could drink them all under the bar. 
     Come gallant or tank there was no one to rank 
          With Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
 
     One day this bold Russian had shouldered his gun 
          And donned his most truculent sneer. 
     Downtown he did go where he trod on the toe 
          Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
 
     "Young man", quoth Bulbul, "Has your life grown so dull 
          That you're eager to end your career? 
     Vile infidel know you have trod on the toe 
          Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer." 
 
     "So take your last look at the sunshine and brook 
          And send your regrets to the Czar. 
     By this I imply you are going to die, 
          Mr. Ivan Skavinsky Skivar." 
 
     Said Ivan, "My friend, your remarks in the end 
          Will avail you but little, I fear. 
     For you ne'er will survive to repeat them alive, 
          Mr. Abdullah Bulbul Ameer." 
 
     Then this bold Mamalouk drew his trusty skibouk 
          With a cry of "Allah Akbar". 
     And with murderous intent he ferociously went 
          For Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
 
     They parried and thrust, they sidestepped and cussed 
          Of blood they spilled a great lot. 
     The philologist blokes, who seldom crack jokes, 
          Say that hash was first made on that spot. 
 
     They fought all that night 'neath the pale yellow moon, 
          The din it was heard from afar. 
     And multitudes came, so great was the fame, 
          Of Abdul and Ivan Skivar. 
 
     As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life, 
          In fact he had shouted, "Huzzah!" 
     He felt himself struck by that wily Calmuck, 
          Count Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
 
     The Sultan drove by in his red-crested fly, 
          Expecting the victor to cheer. 
     But he only drew nigh just to hear the last sigh 
          Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer. 
 
     Czar Petrovich too, in his spectacles blue 
          Drove up in his new crested car. 
     He arrived just in time to exchange a last line 
          With Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
 
     A tomb rises up where the Blue Danube rolls, 
          And 'graved there in characters clear, 
     Is "Stranger when passing, oh pray for the soul 
          Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer." 
 
     A splash in the Black Sea one dark moonless night, 
          Caused ripples to spread near and far. 
     It was made by a sack fitting close to the back 
          Of Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
 
     A Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps, 
          'Neath the light of the pale polar star. 
     And the name that she murmurs so oft as she weeps 
          Is Ivan Skavinsky Skivar. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
"Star Trekkin'" 
by "The Firm" (not the popular group, another one) 
 
     Chorus: 
          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
          Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.

     Lt. Uhura, report!

     Uhura:
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
          starboard bow, 
          starboard bow. 
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
          starboard bow, Jim.
 
     Analysis, Mr. Spock!
 
     Spock: 
          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
          not as we know it, 
          not as we know it. 
          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
          not as we know it, Captain. 
 
     Uhura: 
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
          starboard bow, 
          starboard bow. 
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
          starboard bow, again. 
 
     Chorus: 
          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
          Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse.
 
     Medical update, Doctor McCoy
 
     McCoy: 
          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
          Dead, Jim.
          Dead, Jim.
          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
          Dead, Jim, Dead.
 
     Spock: 
          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
          not as we know it, 
          not as we know it. 
          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
          not as we know it, Captain. 
 
     Uhura: 
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
          starboard bow, 
          starboard bow. 
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
          starboard bow, Jim! 
 
     Starship Captain, James T. Kirk
 
     Kirk: 
          Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
          shoot to kill,
          shoot to kill.
          We come in peace, shoot to kill, 
          shoot to kill, men. 
 
     McCoy: 
          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
          Dead, Jim.
          Dead, Jim.
          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
          Dead, Jim, Dead.
 
     Spock: 
          Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
          not as we know it, 
          not as we know it. 
          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, 
          not as we know it, Captain. 
 
     Uhura: 
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
          starboard bow, 
          starboard bow. 
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow, 
          scrape 'em off, Jim.
 
     Chorus: 
          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk! 
          Star Trekking, across the universe, 
          Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse! 
 
     Engineer, Mister Scott

     Scotty:
          Ye canna change the laws of physics,
          laws of physics,
          laws of physics!
          Ye canna change the laws of physics,
          laws of physics, [yet|Jim]

     Kirk:
          Oh, we come in peace, shoot to kill,
          shoot to kill,
          shoot to kill!
          We come in peace, shoot to kill,
          Scotty, beam me up!

     McCoy:
          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
          Dead, Jim!
          Dead, Jim!
          It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
          Dead, Jim, Dead!

     Spock:
          Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
          not as we know it,
          not as we know it.
          It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
          not as we know it, Captain.

     Uhura:
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
          starboard bow,
          starboard bow.
          There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
          starboard bow, aaagain!

     Scotty: Ye canna change the script, Jim!  <garbled>

     McCoy:  It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!

     Kirk:   Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine!

     Scotty: Ach!  If I give 'er any more she'll blow, Captain!

     Scotty: Ye canna change the status of the (auxiliary) ax'l engine eh?!

     <<boom>>

     Na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na

     Chorus:
          Star Trekking, across the universe,
          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
          Star Trekking, across the universe,
          Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse!

          Star Trekking, across the universe,
          On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
          Star Trekking, across the universe,
          Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse!

          We come in peace, shoot to kill.

[ there's also the EP version which has a few more verses --ed ]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some local stations showed a comercial for TNG:
(Sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by B. Joel)

     Jean Luc,
     Geordi's Specs,
     Mysteries on the Holodecks

     Asteroids,
     Triple Droids,
     Telepathic Betazoids

     Transporter
     Deadly Claw
     Visitor from LA Law

     Photons,
     No Kirk,
     Captain has gone berzerk

     Shuttlecraft,
     Counselor Troy,
     Doctor Crusher's little boy

     Klingon Rites,
     Parasites,
     New Heights,
     Phasor Fights,
     Data's Head,
     Tasha's Dead,
     Riker's Hangin' by a thread

     Celebration,
     Transformation,
     Everyone to battle stations

     We didn't start the series,
     It's the Next Generation
     on your favorite station

     We didn't start the series,
     But when we are gone it will
     still be on and on and on...

     We didn't start the series...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The Minstril Boy"
Sung by O'Brien with his captain
from TNG "The Wounded"

     The minstrel boy to the war has gone,
          In the ranks of death you will find him.
     His father's sword he hath girded on,
          And his wild harp slung behind him.

     Lands of songs said the warrior-bard,
          Though all the world bestrays thee.
     One sword at least thy rights shall guard,
          One faithful harp shall praise thee.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Come Cheer Up My Lads"
Sung by Picard's clone (in Ten Forward)
from TNG "Allegiance"

     Come cheer up my lads, 'tis to glory we steer,
          To add something new to this wonderful year;
     To honour we call you, not press you like slaves,
          For who are so free as the sons of the waves?

     Heart of Oak are our ships, Heart of Oak are our men,
          We always are ready.
     Steady, boys, steady,
          We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.

     We ne'er meet our foes but we wish them to stay,
          They never see us but they wish us away;
     If they run, why, we follow, and run them ashore,
          For if they won't fight us, we cannot do more.

     Heart of Oak are out ships, Heart of Oak are our men,
          We always are ready.
     Steady, boys, steady,
          We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Banned from Argo" (there are a few variations in different versions)
by Leslie Fish

     When we pulled into Argo  in search of R & R
          Our crew set out investigating every joint and bar
     We had high expectations of their hospitality
          But found too late it wasn't geared for spacers such as we

     CHORUS:
     And we're...banned from Argo, every one
          Banned from Argo, just for having a little fun
     We spent a jolly shore leave there for just 3 days or 4
          But Argo doesn't want us anymore

     Our captain's tastes were simple but his methods were complex
          He found him with five partners, each of a different world and sex
     The shore police were on the way, we had no second chance
          We beamed him up in the nick of time in the remnants of his pants

     CHORUS

     Our engineer would yield to none in putting down the brew
          He outdrank 7 space marines and a demolition crew
     The navigator didn't win but he outdrank almost all
          And now they've got a shuttlecraft on the roof of city hall

     CHORUS

     Our proper, cool first officer was drugged with something green
          And hauled into an alley where he suffered things obscene
     He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear
          Except he somehow taught the bridge computer how to swear

     CHORUS

     The head nurse disappeared a while in the major [dope] bazaar
          Buying an odd green liquid guaranteed to cause Pon-farr.
     She came home with no uniform, and an oddly cheerful heart
          And a painful way of walking with her feet a yard apart

     CHORUS

     Our lady of communications won a ship-wide bet
          By getting into the planet's main communications net
     Now, every time someone calls upon an Argo telescreen
          The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen
          (Yaah!)

     CHORUS

     Our doctor loves humanity, his private life is quiet
          The shore police arrested him for inciting whores to riot.
     They found him in the city jail, locked on and beamed him free
          Intact except for hickies, and 6 kinds of V.D.

     CHORUS
          (Gee, I wonder why?)

     Our helmsman loves exotic plants, and the plants all love him too
          He took some down on leave with him, and we wondered what they'd do
     Till the planetary governor called and swore upon his life
          That a gang of plants entwined his house, and then seduced his wife

     CHORUS

     A gang of pirates landed and nobody seemed to care
          They stomped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there
          (We're here!)
     Half our crew was busy there and invited them to play
          The pirates only looked at us, and turned and ran away

     CHORUS

     Our crew is Starfleet's finest, and our record is our pride
          And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide
     We're sorry 'bout the wreckage and the riots and the fuss
          At least we're sure that planet won't be quick forgetting us

     CHORUS
          (I wonder why?)
          (Did we do something wrong?)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Twenty Years of Pointy Ears"
(sung to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again")

     From sixty-six to sixty-nine
          There was a show
     About the Starship Enterprise
          As we all know
     With funny ears, and Beetle boots,
          And phaser guns that WE COULD SHOOT,
     But Trek... got... canned...
          'Cause the ratings were so low.

     Letters from the fans didn't get
          The show's fourth season on,
     The Star Trek crew, now unemployed,
          Made cash at sci-fi cons.
     When the ranks of Trekkies grew and grew,
          We noticed that some fans do to,
     'Cause they nibble... just like tribbles...
          While they're watching Trek re-runs.

     The fans all got together for
          A new write-in campaign,
     To get a TV movie made,
          But not one like "Spock's Brain"!
     The network told them "GO TO HELL!",
          But then found Star Trek toys sold well;
     But there's... no... mar... ket
          In sci-fi films today.

     (Just then when things seemed darkest,
      There was a light... saber.)

     The highest grossing movie in the
          World is called Star Wars;
     They read through the old Star Trek scripts, then
          Wrote one that's a bore.
     Star Trek: The Motion Picture's trash, but
          It should make a lotta cash:
     The crew will wear pajamas
          And we'll make one of them bald.

     (It's making money!  Quick!  Let's make a sequel!)
     <Well, we have this other old script called... what is it?>
     (Space Seed?)
     <Yeah, Ricardo Montalban just happens to be on the back lot doing a
          Cordoba commercial -- [de plane! de plane!] -- so you know what
          that means, don't you?>
     [Duh, what?]

     STAR... TREK... TWO!!!

     We'll kill off Khan, and kill off Spock, and
          Make them cry, you'll see!
     We'll sell them Star Trek handkerchiefs, and
          then make Star Trek three!
     Kirk has a wife, and has a son; we'll
          Sell them dolls of everyone.
     Janiss... iss... is a bomb that's lots of fun.
     ... Unlike Star Trek one.

     (Shut up!)

     Hey, wait a minute, looky here, there's
          Money to be made
     On model kits and other shit like
          Gum cards they can trade;
     They'll wonder if Spock's dead, ya see; we'll
          Sell the rights to PAY TEE VEE,
     And with... the... mo... ney, we'll make Star Trek three.

     (Great.  Just great.  Now Nimoy won't come back!)
     <Bribe him.  Tell him he can direct it.>
     (But he's dead, Jim!)
     <As a director too, but don't worry; people will come just to see
          if Spock lives, bless his little pointy-ears.>

     STAR... TREK... THREE!!!

     With Captain Kirk, and Mister Spock, and
          Doc... Mick... Coy,   (Oh boy!)
     With Scotty, Checkov, UH-hoo-rah, and
          Soo... loo... too,  (Oh boy!)
     And Saavik's gonna join the crew, but
          Not the one from Star Trek Two,
     And May... jell... who... is Roddenberry's wife.

     It took a while, but Paramount has
          Now... turned... face,
     With Indy films, and Trek films about
          Ou... ter... space;
     Trek Four will make their wallets fat, with
          Trek time-trips and Saavik's brat:
     An an... ni... ver... s'ry gift for all the fans!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ anyone have the lyrics to:
     any of the other songs (like Uhura's, for example) in TOS
     the song Nichelle sung in ST5? --ed ]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Other Star Trek songs can be found at grind.icaen.uiowa.edu in the
/info/humor/Filk directory.

Firebird Arts and Music (1-800-752-0494) sells several  well-done Star Trek
tapes:  _Spock  Rock_,  _Star  Trek:    The  Unofficial  Comedy Album_, and
_Border Patrol_.  _Border  Patrol_, if  you haven't  heard all  the songs a
hundred times before hand like  some of  us, is  an awesome  tape.  They're
working on a new Star Trek  music tape  to be  released later  this year or
next year called _To Boldly Go_.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Both Shatner and Nimoy have  attempted to  sing and  have a  few albums out
(from the early 70s, I believe).   They are  *extremely* bad  and only good
for comic relief.

Nichelle Nichols originally  sang the  tune Uhura  was singing  in ST5, but
TPTB decided a few days before the  film was  released to  dub in Hiroshima
singing the song.

Brent Spiner has an  album out  titled something  like "Old  Yellow Eyes is
Back"

The band  T'Pau  (named after  the Vulcan  priestess from  TOS "Amok Time")
claim they are not Star Trek  fans; they  just liked  the name.   DJs enjoy
putting a few lines from "Amok Time" during the opening of  the song "Heart
and Soul"  (McCoy:    "Do you  know who  that is?   That's  T'Pau!"  T'Pau:
"Thees ees da Voolcan heart; thees ees da Voolcan soul...")

The Minneapolis band (now  based in  New York)  "Information Society" likes
putting Star Trek quotes in their  songs.   "Pure Energy"  had Spock's line
"pure energy" (from the "Errand of Mercy") in it (and later releases of the
song have McCoy saying something like "we're not out of this yet"), "Think"
has Kirk saying "Think about it" (from "Mirror, Mirror"), "Something in the
Air" has a  long scream  (apparently taken  from TOS),  and there's another
song (the name  escapes me)  that has  a line  from Spock,  Scott, or both.
Adam Nimoy (Leonard's son) is a fan and friend of the group.

Leonard Nimoy was on the cover of the Bangles' first album.  He was also in
one or two of their videos from that album.

Susan Vega has a reference to Star Trek in one of her songs.

The German  band  Nena  mentions  "Captain Kirk"  in their  songs "99 Luft-
balloons" and "99 Red Balloons".

On the Cover of the CD/LP Cassandra Complex  - "Theomania";  SPV CD 85-7268
there is a picture of the TOS Enterprise above the new York skyline.

Captain of the Starship - Canadian pressing of William Shatner-Live!  2 12"
LP album.

Captain of  the  Starship  - another  Canadian pressing  of William Shatner
Live!  2 12" LP album, K-TEL Record, #9400.

The Green Hills of Earth and Gentlemen, Be Seated - Robert A Heinlein, read
by Leonard Nimoy, 12"LP, Caedmon Records #TC 1526.

Halley's Comet:    Once  in a  Lifetime -  narrated by  LN, audio cassette,
Caedmon Cassette #S1788, 1986.

The Illustrated Man -  Ray Bradbury,  read by  LN, 12"  LP, Caedmon Records
#TC1479.

Inside Star Trek - Gene Roddenberry, Columbia Records, #34279.

The Martian Chronicles - Ray Bradbury, read by LN, 12" LP, Caedmon Records,
#TC1466.

Mimsy Were the Borogoves - Henry Kuttner, read by William  Shatner, 12" LP,
Caedmon Records, #TC1509.

The Mysterious Golem - narrated by LN, 12" LP, JRT Records.

The Psychohistorians - read by WS, 12" LP, Caedmon Records, #TC1508

Star Fleet  Beat, Phasers  on Stun  - special  20th anni.,  12" LP, Penguin
Records.

The Star Trek Philosophy and Star Trek Theme -  GR, from  Inside Star Trek,
7" 45rpm, Columbia Records, #3-10448.

Star Trek Tapes - press recordings, Jack M Sell.

Sterling Bronsan:  Space Engineer - Inter Audio Associates,  parody on four
cassettes.

The Transformed Man - performed by WS, 12" LP, Decca Records, #DL75043.

The Transformed Man and How Insensitive - from  The Transformed  Man, 7" LP
45rpm, Decca Records, #32399

Trek Bloopers - 3rd season TOS, 12" LP, Blue Pear Records, #1.

Voice Tracks, USMC Toys for Tots - readings by LN and others, 7" 33 1/3rpm,
Warner Bros.-Sevent Arts Records, #PRO381.

The Voyage of Star Trek - The Source, promotional copy, 12" LP 1982.

The War of the Worlds - H.G.  Wells, read by  LN, 12"  LP, Caedmon Records,
#TC1520.

William Shatner-Live! - 2 record album, Lemli Records, #9400.

Beyond Antares  and  Uhura's  Theme  -  Nichelle  Nichols,  7" 45rpm, R-Way
Records, #RW-1001.

Consilium and Here We Go 'Round Again - sung by LN from The Way  I Feel, 7"
45rpm, Dot Records, #45-17175.

Dark Side of the Moon - sung by NN, 2 7" LP 45rpm, Americana Records, EP-1.

Disco Trekin' and Star Child  - sung  by Grace  Lee Whitney,  7" 45rpm, GLW
Star Enterprises.

Down to Earth - sung by NN, 12" LP, Epic Records, #BNZ6351.

Leonard Nimoy Presents Mr.  Spock's Music from Outer  Space (DOT)  - by LN,
12" LP, Dot Records, #DLP25794. - British version, diffusion, 1973, #25156.

The New World of Leonard Nimoy - 12" LP, Dot Records, #DLP 25966.

Outer Space/Inner Mind - 2  record set  combines amny  LN works,  2 12" LP,
Paramount Records Famous Twinsets PAS, 2-1030.

Please Don't Try To Change My Mind and I'd Love Making Love to You  - by LN
from The Way I Feel, 7" 45rpm, Dot Records, #45-17125.

Space Odyssey - cuts from LN Dot Records, Pickwick/33 Records, #SPC3199.

The Sun Will Rise and Time to Get it Together - by LN from The New World of
Leonard Nimoy, 7" 45rpm, Dot Records, #45-17330.

Take a Star Trip - GLW, 45rpm.

The Touch of Leonard Nimoy - LN, Dot Records, #DLP25910.

Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy - 12" LP, Dot Records, #DLP25835.

Uhura Sings - AR-Way Productions, album or cassette, 1986.

Visit to  a Sad  Planet -  LN from  Mr Spock's  Music from  Outer Space, 7"
45rpm, Dot Records, #17038, 1967.  (also cassette)

The Way I Feel - LN, 12" LP, Dot Records, #DLP25883. (also reel to reel).




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