From: webber@world.std.com (Robert D Webber)
Subject: Re: Is Sex easier than Living Together? How About Telepathy?
Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 15:12:27 GMT

In article <1992Aug16.024753.2065@latcs1.lat.oz.au>
Jim Baranski, who is without posting privileges at the moment wrote:
>
>Many people have said that SF writers: Heinlien, Varley, etc were instrumental
>in their developing polyamorically.  Has anyone mentioned Sturgeon's
>*excellent* book, "GodBody"?  What about Marion Zimmer Bradley's Darkover? 
>The closeness of the Circles is what my dream of what Polyamory is!

Further on the subject of polyamory support in fiction, the third book
in Vonda MacIntyre's "Starfarers" series just came out.  This series
not only is supportive of (and IMHO insightful about) polyamorous
r'ships, but also is about a group of idealists realizing a number
of their other ideals (peaceful exploration, rule by informed consensus...)
and the problems they face in all these things.  I highly recommend
these books!

>What I wouldn't give for telepathy!  Yet, I wonder if everyone here in
>alt.polyamory feels that way.  Living together is something that is important
>to me; many here people seem to be much more inclined to want to not live
>together, and just '''date'''.  I have a feeling that most people would not
>want telepathy.  What is the differences between the people who would want
>telepathy or living together, and those who would not?

I lived with (and was married to, in an open marriage) a woman for a few
years, and yes, some things are easier when you don't live together.
There are some interpersonal problems you don't have to worry about
because each of you have homes to go to where you live by your own
rules, and there are others that seem trivial because it's so exciting
to see the other(s) when you don't get to do it all the time.

On the other hand, there are the times when you'd (I guess I mean "I"
not "you") when I'd really like to come home to a friend who I
could talk with through other channels than just speech without leaving
the comfort of my apartment (or better, house).  And there are some
depths which go unplumbed because there's not enough time in the
average visit to sync up with each other, and if living together
means sharing a bed, in the context of your question, then there would
definitely be a lot of nights when I'd sleep more happily and
securely with a sweetheart or two to cuddle with or just lie near.

Your basic question is really kind of vague, though.  What kind of telepathy,
what kind of living together?  Complete and unilateral access to others'
thoughts or an increase in bandwidth for voluntary communications?  In the
former case it might be hard to get there from here.  And in living together
do you mean in the same building, the same room, the same bed, the same
town?  At this point in my life I think I need the possibility of backing
away and being by myself for a while without destroying my r'ship with
others: I'd need space and time for aloneness.

>Jim.
>
>James Baranski            | It's Not Easy Keeping Vaxen Working ...  Underwater!
>Vax Systems Analyst       | BARANSKI@VEAMF1.NUSC.NAVY.MIL 203-440-6510, 889-4968
>Lanman Hill, Norwich CT   | Be: Thoughtfull, Honest, Yourself, Happy

Bob

-- 
Bob Webber, webber@world.std.com ===========================================
==========================================================  Laurie Anderson:
Our plan is to drop odd objects onto your country from the air.  And some
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