HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 20:26:51 GMT

In article <1992Nov17.083848.23732@news.Hawaii.Edu> deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett) writes:
>                                                         And I agree with
>relationships in the same area of work.  If you get into those, you BETTER
>be the boss.

Are you familiar with laws regarding sexual harrassment in the 
workplace?  You better NOT be the boss, or you're liable to all
sorts of nasty lawsuits, not only from your relationship partner,
but also from coworkers of your partner who can claim that your
involvement with that person gives them an unfair advantage in
salary and opportunity treatment.

Far better advice regarding workplace relationships is to make
sure that there is no direct line of authority between you and
the other person (from a legal standpoint) and that you have as
little regular contact during work situations as possible (from
a personal standpoint--this is true during the relationship and
especially true if things don't work out).  There's a big 
difference between dating someone in your workgroup whose desk
is right across from you and dating someone in another department
who you happen to run into once or twice a month.
-- 
  Dave Johnson

"You're not too smart, are you?  I like that in a man."
    --Kathleen Turner in Body Heat 
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14248 soc.singles:31098
From: aaron@minster.york.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 18 Nov 92 12:05:13 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of York, England

Kevin Brown (kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com) wrote:
: I started working out. I also decided to be very aggressive in approaching 
: women.

  I would have thought a muscular, agressive man approaching a woman would 
  have been intimidating and counter-productive. I suppose being stronger
  makes it easier to drag them off by the hair though. :-)

		Aaron		aaron@minster.york.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 92 12:01:39 GMT

In article <64z158_@rpi.edu> petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>In article <cbnqh9b@lynx.unm.edu>, blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes:
>|> In article <h4y1#k=@rpi.edu> petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>|> >|> Actually we in soc.singles are quite safe.
>|> >|> We just simply expect people to stand up for themselves instead of being
>|> >|> propped up by everybody else in the group.
>|> >    Ok, mister, you asked for it...
>|> (rant deleted)
>|> 
>|> Can YOU tell the difference between 'independence' and 'crutch'?
>
>  Yes, there is a difference.  However, to some of us, when we get dumped by
>someone we care for, it HURTS.  Apparently, this is not true for you---since
>this is for romantics (people who care deeply for others), it really hurts to
>get dumped---moreso than for non-romantics.

[rest deleted]

Ah, er, um, sorry to interrupt, but in both of your angry responses to 
rON so far, I've been unable to figure out how on earth you came to the
conclusion that rON was saying anything remotely like the things you are
flaming him for saying.  Do I need some sort of decoder ring or something
to get the hidden meanings out of rON's messages?

Trygve   (You know, it is possible to feel pain and still get on with life.) 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: dks@sr.com (Dave K. Sprow)
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
Reply-To: dks@srhqla.UUCP (Dave K. Sprow)
Organization: Silent Radio, Los Angeles
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 21:58:15 GMT

In article <00963A4C.F93ABC60@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>Okay, guys.  What does "I'll call you," REALLY mean.  I'm fairly sure it's a
>handy exit line that doesn't really mean anything, and I don't expect much
>whenever I hear it.  But I'm wondering if there are any tips on how to tell if
>a guy's just saying it or he really means it (aside from the obvious, i.e.
>waiting for the phone to ring).  How often have you said it, intending to call,
>but then changed your mind?  And why?
>
>This happened to me again this weekend;  went out Friday, guy says let's get
>together tomorrow night, I'LL CALL YOU, and then never did (I thought he would,
>too).
>
>This is all so confusing.
>
>Cheryl

I don't think there's any sure way to know.  But if they say is casually,
I'd say there's a good chance they won't (but they might).   However if
they make it a *point* to tell you they will call (like direct eye contact
when they say it for example), then I would say 99% would call (unless they
were drunk and changed their minds :-)

David S.
From: v119qkv2@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (POE)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Plea
Date: 18 Nov 92 20:04:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Nov18.010332.12466@cs.uwp.edu>, itzenhui@cs.uwp.edu (Steve Itzenhuiser) writes...
> 
>I am only 24 years old, but believe in previous lives (though I do not
>know what they were) and believe that I know a lot about this world--the
>way it works and why things happen when they happen, etc.  My
>understanding of the world lies in my understanding of myself.  This may
>sound truly bazaar to some of you, but I know that there are others out
>there like me and my friends--you're not alone.  However, out of all the
>knowledge that I have gained over the X-amount of life times that I have
>been on this earth, I can not, for the life of me understand LOVE!!!
>I am now interested in one particular woman (who I really hope doesn't
>read this).  She is intelligent and wise (a combination hard to find), and
>also quite stunning.  She has expressed interest in me, though I don't
>know to what extent, though that in itself can keep me in check for some time.
>My biggest problem, however, is that I become very absorbed into a woman
>and thus become anxious.  I don't know what to think when she does this or
>that, I don't quite know how to act and react.  I know that I should be
>myself, but I do so much want to be with her but I do not want to push her
>away.  I become quite stressed.  Do I relax, do I tell her of my anxiety,
>or what?  I would really appreciate a bit 'o advice.
> 
> 
>"If there's a new way, I'll be the first in line."
>				-Dave Mustain
	Wait a second Dave, your married and have a kid.  Oops, that was
just a quote from Dave and not a post.  Never mind. :-)

- Mike Poe

"Peace sells... but who's buying?!?"
		- Dave Mustain
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: Gagging Sloth Records
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 16:42:30 GMT

In article <parker.721669946@uars_mag>, parker@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Kirsten Parker) writes:

|> I too am new to this news group so hi, y'all.  I was ungraciously dumped
|> by my boyfriend of three years about four months ago.  And I can tell
|> you I plan on being "independent" for at least year before I'm ready
|> to set myself up for rejection again.

Unfortunately, there's just no way to schedule these things. In fact, it 
usually seems to occur when you're explicity planning for it *not* to happen!
So watch out!

jds

***************************************************************************
                               * Health and knowledge and wealth and power,
Jeff Smith                     * Passion and poems and sex
smith@fl08-g.comm.mot.com      * I wear a smile like a leather glove,
                               * I won't shut my mouth for less.
                                                - shriekback
***************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: my opinions only
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1992 00:52:46 GMT

In article <23NOV199215434284@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov>
afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes:
>In article <lgqh1lINNil7@news.bbn.com>, dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes...
>>In article <64z158_@rpi.edu>, petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:
>>Do you measure the quality of your relationships by how badly they hurt you?

>Often, it's the size of the hole one leaves in your life upon vacating that 
>wakes you up to their importance to you. Valid point and not the *least* 
>bit silly, Dawn. 

But that isn't the measure.  If the relationship manages to end
"well", does that mean it was never important?

>>Why do you think of "dates/SO's" as a source of pain?  What's so romantic 
>>about hurting?
>
>A thing is granted *equal* power to lift you up *or* destroy you when it 
>enters your life. If it doesn't hurt much when it leaves, it didn't *help* 
>much while it was there. No great leap of logic in *that* assertion, is 
>there ?

I don't see any logic there at all.  Why should relationships be
symmetrical around pain/pleasure?  Mine aren't.

> You only have *one* door to your heart ... it can't be opened 
>*fully* for pleasure and *partially* for pain. You either open it a crack, 
>thus limiting *both* the cost and the reward, or you *fling* it open and 
>risk all to *perhaps* gain all. 

Or you open it cautiously, and only *fling* it open after you're sure
that it's your lover on the other side (and not a landshark).

>Pain is *one* measure of love, albeit love lost. No one said it was the 
>*only* measure. 

Pain is a poor measure of love lost; it isn't any kind of a measure of
any other love. [*]

Seth		sethb@fid.morgan.com

[*] alt.sex.bondage probably disagrees with this statement.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Organization: Clark University
Date: 21 NOV 92 04:28:12 GMT

In a previous article, ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott) wrote:
> 
>In a previous article, mcohen@vax.clarku.edu () says:
> 
>>In a previous article, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) wrote:
>>>In article <20NOV92.00324238@vax.clarku.edu> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>>>>In a previous article, ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen) wrote:
>>>>>well folks, since we are on this topic...what are some common
>>>>>flirting actions that some of you use? i'm curious
>>>>> 
>>>> [Stuff deleted]
>>>>Smile a lot.  And what I've found very important - touch, touch, touch.  
>>>                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>>Do *not* do this in the UK or else we will kill you. Yeurgh. :-)
>>> 
>>Oh, how depressing!  You people take romance lessons from Chuck & Die? :-)
> 
>Mitch...don't listen to Stewart...He's just being bitter.... ;)
>Trust me....my sweetie is English, and from day one he's been
>a  "touch, touch, touch"  kinda guy......  
> 
Phew!  Guess I'll still plan that trip after all!  Thanks for the reassuring 
of the touchy-feeliness of humanity Dawn!  ...Mitch

/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
| > <    Mitch Cohen * Multimedia consultant * MCohen@vax.clarku.edu       |
|  ^          Any opinions expressed are clearly not my own.               |
|  v     I'll come up with something intelligent to put here later.        |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: J032300@LMSC5.IS.LMSC.LOCKHEED.COM
Subject: Re: HELP: Sucks to be me!!!
Organization: Lockheed Missiles & Space Company, Inc.
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 92 18:02:54 GMT

Billy - Why the Asian female assumption?  As one, I'm curious ...
Lori
------------------------- Original Article -------------------------
From: taina@cs.Helsinki.FI (Juha Taina)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: 17 Nov 92 08:20:44 GMT
Organization: University of Helsinki, Finland

In <13NOV92.21925419.0026@lafibm.lafayette.edu> CE42@lafibm.lafayette.edu (CE42000) writes:
>>I too am new to this news group so hi, y'all.  I was ungraciously dumped
>Hi! *hug* and welcome to ARC!

I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net.  What
is the value of them?  Would you also hug and kiss a stranger in real
life?

-- 
Juha Taina  taina@cs.helsinki.fi  Phone: +358-0-708-4247
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown)
Subject: Re: Kevin gets a girl! (was Re: Being Alone?)
Organization: I can't see any in the immediate vicinity...
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 20:03:40 GMT

In article <1992Nov17.192808.24944@netcom.com> aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine) writes:
>Congratulations!  Tell us all about it!

Hmm...not sure where to start.  You don't want me to start at the
beginning, do you (you know, the Big Bang and all :-) ?

Her name's Heidi, and she's a dietician working at one of the (many)
hospitals here in Houston.  She moved here from San Francisco, which is
where she got her degree.  As I mentioned, we met at the place I work
out (Bally's).  At the time, she was studying for her board exams, so I
managed to get her to talk about that.  This apparently worked.  :-)
At the time, she didn't have any time to do anything until she took her
board exam, which was a couple of weeks after I first met her, so we got
a chance to talk a couple of times further.

The First Date:  We went to a place called Dave and Buster's, which has
just about anything you can imagine right there in one building.  It has
bowling lanes, a video game room, pool tables, a bar, a dance floor, a
restaurant, a theater, and probably more that I'm not aware of.  We had
dinner there and went bowling that night.  Despite the awkwardness of the
goodnight kiss, I knew there was potential here.

The Second Date:  We went to the Pat Metheny concert.  But first, she fixed
dinner at her place.  Yum!  She loves to cook (which I guess makes sense,
in that she's got a great deal of interest in food).  I thanked her by
giving her a nice hug, and wow did she respond!  We were in each others'
arms all through the concert and the rest of the night.

Well, the rest is basically history.  We've been seeing more and more of
each other since, and things have been going pretty well.  I can't
complain.  :-)


>                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)


-- 
Kevin Brown					kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com
This is your .signature virus: < begin 644 .signature (9V]T8VAA(0K0z end >
	    This is your .signature virus on drugs: <>
			Any questions?
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 01:50:40 GMT

smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith) writes:

>In article <parker.721669946@uars_mag>, parker@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Kirsten Parker) writes:

>|> I too am new to this news group so hi, y'all.  I was ungraciously dumped
>|> by my boyfriend of three years about four months ago.  And I can tell
>|> you I plan on being "independent" for at least year before I'm ready
>|> to set myself up for rejection again.

>Unfortunately, there's just no way to schedule these things. In fact, it 
>usually seems to occur when you're explicity planning for it *not* to happen!
>So watch out!

Indeed.  I figured I wouldn't date for quite some time and that lasted
about two weeks.  It's kind of amazing.  When I'm looking, they're running
and hiding.  But if I'm not looking, they're knocking my door down.  :-)
Well, not quite, but I find that things happen when you least expect them
to happen. 

But I understand your feelings very well: I'm a little hesitant right now
and I think it's because I fear rejection again.  It's a natural fear and
very real.  And, also, there's nothing wrong with working on independence. 
I think it's important to be happy with yourself first before foisting
oneself on another human being.  :-) :-) :-)

My self-esteem has gone up quite a bit in the five weeks, to be quite 
honest.  I wondered how I'd live without him during the first week, but 
then I realized I was a lot happier.  The ex is a good and wonderful 
person, but with different dreams than mine.  

Sharon O'Neil
oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu
From: deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett)
Subject: Huggs
Organization: University of Hawaii, Dept. of Electrical Engineering
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 20:26:47 GMT


Benefits of a Hug:

1) A feeling of a sense of caring
2) A feeling of being loved
3) Will evoke laughter
4) Improve interpersonal relationships
5) Increase innate healing substances (blood cells)
6) Stablize vital signs
7) Promote healing
8) Increase sense of well being
9) Elevate mood, morale and possibly morals
10) Inprove self esteem and worthiness
11) Increase will or desire to perform
12) Delay the aging process
13) Has been known to cure serious illnesses

dB 


Xref: sparky alt.romance:14268 soc.singles:31147
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 18 Nov 92 20:01:43 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Nov17.221237.26405@spartan.ac.BrockU.CA> bross@spartan.ac.BrockU.CA (Brian J Ross) writes:
|kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
|: Well, I haven't posted in a while (you can tell, right?  :-).  There's good
|: reason for that:  my plan worked.  I now have a girlfriend, and am *quite*
|: happy.  This looks to be a long-term thing, because we get along
|: *incredibly* well.
|
|Well, after reading Kevin's postings for a number of years, this
|particular post of his is one of the best things I've ever read on 
|the usenet.  Kevin, way to go!  

Agreed.  Kevin is clearly the net.sucess-story for 1992.  Congratulations
and good luck, Kevin.

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
From: ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Date: 19 Nov 92 20:23:14 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

well folks, since we are on this topic...what are some common
flirting actions that some of you use? i'm curious

Dzu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen)
Subject: Two hearts can meet............
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 18:42:29 GMT

ome time ago I made this post and for some strange reason the name was left off
the post. Here is a repeat:


        Recently it's been said that "Romance is fiction" and I want to label 
th
at as
the myth it is. But there is no denying the fact that romance is a gentler
meeting of two hearts and that such a joining generally doesn't take place in
high intensity situations or crowds. Romance must be given a chance, and that
chance will come in situations such as: sitting in the grass on the quad at UI
and talking until 3 am (this happened to us in '47, but no one would do it
today because we'd both probably get beat up and she might get raped); take a
long walk in the woods holding hands ( Naveena Michael mentioned this in her
post ); walking along a beach on a moonlight night (this has great appeal to me
because in Illinois beaches are rare); a picnic for 2 in the park; a long
telephone call or an internet chat (I've never done this but I know two hearts
can touch when far apart); or maybe a canoe ride for two down a river or along
a lake front.
        These are some ideas; there are hundreds more. Just remember that
romance thrives in gentler places, not at a cocktail party with 40 people
present. And bars are the absolute worst; whiskey breath will chill the most
ardent heart.
        I know these things because I've loved my wife for 45 years and
experienced many of them and wish to experience the others. Romance does not
die when you're 70. Sex is for the moment, but love is for life.
-- 12:36 --alt.romance-- LAST+next --help:?--Top 91%--

experienced many of them and wish to experience the others. Romance does not
die when you're 70. Sex is for the moment, but love is for life.

John Fippen   married 43 years and still love my wife.
                                email       fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: Angela Johnson <Angela_Johnson@med.umich.edu>
Subject: Re: "Made" or "Just Happens"?
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 15:05:32 EST
Organization: University of Michigan
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1

In article <BxvBr5.GD0@acsu.buffalo.edu> POE,
v119qkv2@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu writes:
>Myself, I think that anyone who doesn't see that relationships are made
and
>don't just happen are either A) Living in a fantasy world, B) Been in a 
>relationship too long to remember what it is like, or C) One in a
million that
>were lucky enough to experience "love at first sight".  So let's here it:
>Does it just happen or do you have to make it happen?


I think that you have to work at it, at least a little.  You can't
MAKE it happen but each should work at it enough to know whether it
will or won't happen, unless there is absolutely no attraction at all
(physical, intellectual, etc.).  Am I making sense?

I recently met a guy who said that I was everything he wanted
and even "checked out" on his check list of 12 items, however
the "spark" just wasn't there.  We got along great and knew alot
about each other, and although there were differences that we
would EACH have to either accept or not, I felt it was worth a
try.  We are still good friends, however, I still feel it is
unfortunate that there wasn't more of an attempt made at something
more - like I said, in time either it would or wouldn't work.  But
then, friends have been known to fall in love when they thought
there was nothing more, so who knows???

I do believe there is "love at first sight", however haven't experienced
it myself.  I have experienced "LUST at first sight though" (although not
acted on it) as I am sure others have! ;-)  

Anyway, that is my opinion on the subject.
From: afdenis@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Description of the Fetal Remains from an Abortion
Date: 17 Nov 92 18:22:00 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Nov16.234644.9072@ncsu.edu>, dsh@eceyv.ncsu.edu (Woody Allen) 
writes...

[Nothing appropriate to the group]

Thanks, Woody ... but you didn't include the fact that, apparently, the 
Fetal remains from an Abortion can *also* post to Usenet.


-- Stephen

	Growing up is easier than you think ... one day, you just wake
	up an adult ... and mourn your loss.
From: jbell@mihi.une.edu.au (Master of Puppets)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
Date: 19 Nov 1992 00:23:29 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil):
> stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andrews) writes:
> It took me nearly a year to get over the first serious relationship that
> broke up.  Now, to be honest, the pain was a lot more intense at one week
> than at one month, at one month than at six, at six months than at one year.
I feel more pain now than I did when I got dumped, 6 months ago
so....
I guess it's different for everyone
*sigh*
oh well

Just

--
/------------------------jbell@mihi.une.edu.au--------------------------\
| Strange how laughter looks like crying with no sound, | Justin Bell   |
| Raindrops taste like tears without the pain.          | +61-67-72-6247|
\-------------90 Taylor St., Armidale, NSW, 2350, AUSTRALIA-------------/