Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 02:18:42 CST
From: David James Alexander Hanley <U16244@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: talk.religion.newage,alt.alien.visitors,sci.skeptic
Subject: Re: Satans E-mail.
 <72998@cup.portal.com> <1993Jan6.120823.18742@cbfsb.cb.att.com>
 <1993Jan7.010739.26915@tc.fluke.COM>

In article <1993Jan7.010739.26915@tc.fluke.COM>, emery@tc.fluke.COM (John Emery)
says:
>
>In article <1993Jan6.120823.18742@cbfsb.cb.att.com> cooper@cbnewsg.cb.att.com
>(Ralph 'Hairy' Moonen) writes:
>
>Satan,  I have been quite curious about you and have always wished that
>some of my questions about you could be answered.  Now that I have the
>opportunity, here it goes.  You were once known as Lucifer, the light
>bearer, a great guardian cherub, perfect in beauty, clothed with every
>precious stone.  I could just imagine you reflecting God's glory.  My

  Let me tell you something.  God is notoriously lax in the area of
presonal hygiene.  Some of those jems were jammed up my nose to ward
off the smell!

>question is why did you rebel against God?  Why did your heart become
>proud on account of your beauty which God gave you in the first place?
>You had an eternal paradise within the presence of God, why did you
>throw it away?  I've always pondered that.

  Simply because that wasn't the smell.  Why do you humans cast off
your evil dictators?  Do you think god is good because you read it in
some stupid book?  Are you that naive?

>
>At the time of your rebellion, you made the proclamation that you would
>be like God and your throne would ascend to heaven.  You took 1/3 of

  Not quite.  I wanted to take his place and try to set things straight
from how bad he's botched things.  Listen.  God is perfect and so are
we angels, supposedly( har-de-har-har ).  If that was the case, how
could we revolt?  How could we overcome eachother?  Why would we want
to?  It doesn't make sense.  God's no more perfect than anyone else,
just a little more powerful.

>the angels in your rebellion.  However, you were cast out, falling from
>heaven like lightning, you and your angels.  When you saw what had
>happened, did you not realize that you did wrong?  Was there no place

  Yeah, I didn't shoot god in the head when I had the chance.  Shows
me for being a nice guy, you know?

>in your heart to admit your sin and repent in hopes that God might be
>merciful?  Look at the redeemed.  They, too, have been guilty of rebellion.
>Yet they admitted there wrong and humbly repented.  Why couldn't you
>do the same thing?

 God has no more mercy than adolf, hitler, who sits right next to god
in heaven.  Get a clue.

>
>You have continued do to such horrible things.

  Like what?  And don't give me biblical propaganda, it's hardly
an unbaised source.

  Why?  You know that
>us humans have a tendacy to become proud and corrupt and evil.  Yet
>you have continued to tempt leaders and people in power to use their
>power for evil.  You have wispered to, suggested to, and convinced men of
>power to lust for more and more.  This has led to many a war resulting
>in death and famine.  Your suggestions seem to work so often as seen
>by the scandals, the thefts, the murders, and various other destructions.

  Did you see me do these things?  No.  Do you have recordings,
sane witnesses, reports, or anything?  I thought not.  If god is really
so omnipotent and I'm so weak, do you think he'd ley me do these
things?  Get a clue!

>
>But the curious thing is that you don't stop with the big guys.  You
>seem to go after the average human: the poor guy who started out
>with casual drugs is now in the gutter looking for his next fix.

  That's caused by your rediculous legal system, with interference
from the chirches, and the sick society mentally crippled by religion.
Where do you see me involved in this?

>And oh the many marriages that have been destroyed.  And yes, my heart
>moans when I think of the innocent women who have been raped.

  And so, so many of them by christians.  It it sad.

>What about the gangs whom you have wispered you messages of hate to?
>These young lads, some of whom are killed and maimed.  I could go
>on and on.  What is it that pleases you about such stuff?

  Yes, and such a suprising number of these regular church attendees.
Why not kill when you will be forgiven?

>
>You know ever since you convinced that first family to disobey God,
>we humans have sure made a mess of things.  We have continued to be

  You sure have.. If you'd just forgot about god and gotten busy being
tolerant and building a strong siciety, you'd be fine.  But you had to
think of this god person, and let the churches lull you into apathy
so the state could turn you into obiedent sheep.

>selfish and prideful in so much.  We have followed in your footsteps
>in going our own way and turning away from God.  And you would think
>that God would just let us go.  But He sent the Savior.  I might think
>that perhaps you would have said  "fine, God's trying to win back
>these rebels, I'll just stay out of it".  But no. When the Savior was
>born, you tried to kill him.  Although you failed, in the process

  Here's a newsflash.  Remember jesus's last words?  His father really
DID forsake him.

>you killed every male child in that vicinity of Bethlehem.  How could
>you do such a thing?

  I wasn't anywhere neat the place.  And again, if your god is so
omnipotent, why would he let me?

>
>And when you saw that you had failed, why didn't you just let things
>be?  Instead you tried a different tactic.  O how you tried to talk Jesus
>out of His mission, tempting Him in every way those 40 days in the
>desert.

  Actually, he was suffering from heat exhaustion and hallucinating.

>last attempt in the garden of Gethsemane also failed.  How amazing
>was Jesus' resistance to givng in, even to the point of sweating
>blood!

  Sweating blood is impossible.  A person would die.  And i don't
mean to sound like an echo, but if this kid is really god-on-earth
and sinless, would he have problems resisting me?

 Then He was crucified, The Ultimate Eternal Atonement was
>made.

  Eh?  I never followed the logic here.
  1) Kill someone
  2) Everything gets better.

>
>What was your reaction when on the third day He rose from the dead?

  Never happened.  I was having coffee with him, I can vouch for his
whereabouts.  Remember, god requires blind stupidity, I mean faith in
him.  Jesus was a smart fellow, and of course didn't have that ( read
that bible thing for evidence ).  So regardless of what kind of life
he lead, he died like everyone else.

>It seemed like from that point on nothing could stop the people
>from returning to God.  First it was 120, next it was 3000 and now
>throughout the centuries multitudes and multitudes have been returning,
>more than could be counted.  I know, I know you don't like to be

  More than will be taken.  Read revelations.  Only a few thousand
persons will be allowed to enter heaven.  And only members of the
tribes of israel.  Are you jewish?  Wellll......

>
>About this lake of fire destination, I would be curious how you

  I don't throw anyone into the lake.  God and that pervert peter
do that, if the person doen not kis god's ass perperly or else if
god is in a bad mood.  ( he usually is! ).

>respond to this.  Have you not realized that evil must eventually
>cease?

  No, I don't, though I wish it would.  Can you provide evidence or
logical proof of this?  I'm interested in such a claim.

> Don't you realize what lies before you?

  Looks like a computer terminal.

>What about love?
>Is love really that bad of a thing?

  Sure ain't.  Sure glad I got adam and eve to eat from the tree, or
humans would never have known love.

>Is feeding the hungry and
>taking care of the sick really something you should oppose?  And

  Nope.  Why don't you go out and do this instead of annoying me?

>what about these followers of Jesus?  Do you really hate them as
>much as it is written.

  No, I just feel sorry for the poor, stupid, mislead fools.

>It would seem so by the way many have
>responded.

  Please explain.  i don't follow you here.

>  [ Absolute bullshit deleted, hey, that would remove the whole note!]

Yours in darkness...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty.
He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for
protection to his own" - Thomas Jefferson, 1814

SEND E-MAIL TO : hanley1@earth.eecs.uic.edu