From: cortese@skid.ps.uci.edu (Janis Maria Cortese)
Subject: Re: words
Newsgroups: alt.pagan
Organization: University of California, Irvine
Date: 16 Aug 92 23:55:53 GMT

In article <1992Aug16.213259.471@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> radzy@ICSI.Berkeley.EDU (T. O. Radzykewycz) writes:
>liam@brewich.hou.tx.us (Liam) writes:
>> ... yet we still fail to see that the only way to change the
>> world is to change ourselves from within.( I must include myself
>> in this collective "we")  So I sugest that we, all of us, change
>> ourselves for the better and exhibit the qualities that we
>> admire the most...in the face of intolerance be tolerant and
>> when bashed don't return fire, because if we do, we also condemn
>> ourselves. So as we sit behind these battlements forged of our
>> own indignation, remember that to see our own worst enemy all we
>> have to do is look in a mirror.
>
>Great posting, Liam!
>I agree wholeheartedly!
>
>One further thing we each (myself included) need to do is
>to look at ourselves when others accuse us of something.  The
>first step toward ridding ourselves of any traits we don't
>want to have is to recognize that they exist.  So many people
>(myself included FAR too often), when someone says they have a
>problem, simply go into auto-defense mode and stop listening.

Another further thing we need to do, as well, is to learn to
differentiate when a) someone is complaining about a general societal
injustice, and b) when we are personally being accused of something.
There seems to be a lot of this going around, where someone (gee, like
who?) will post drawing attention to a general injustice, and someone
ELSE will automatically act as if they stand accused.  They will then
proceed to explain why they do nothing of the sort.  Quite frankly, they
may not (but I still wonder why they get so defensive if so), but that
doesn't mean it doesn't happen.  I have a feeling that if you pinned
down most men/hets/white people and asked them, "Do you oppress people?"
they would say, "Of course not."  By extension, the oppression would not
then exist -- but it does.

As radzy said, you won't surmount an obstacle in your path by pretending
it doesn't exist.  You must acknowledge it and learn about it so that
you can pull in down and move on.

It is complicated, though, and I just got a dose of that myself this
weekend.  (The gay/les/bi readers will probably hold their sides in
laughter at this one.)  There is a two day Gay/Lesbian Pride Festival
held in the park in the middle of my university every summer, and it's
quite a neat thing; I never would have guessed that plaid-pants,
Republican, traditionalfamilyvalues Irvine would permit such a thing,
but it's nice to see something normal in this place every now and then.

At any rate, I would hope most of you know already that I am a staunch
supporter of gay/les/bi rights from my posts.  HOWEVER, I am no less apt
to be surprised when I see two people of the same sex with their arms
around each other than anyone else.  Why?

I've heard from guys who take vacations in Europe who head first thing
for the nude and topless beaches -- "Oooh, oooh, lookit the titties!"
After about a week, they just don't care about them anymore.

This is the same type of thing for me and I suspect a lot of other hets
who support gay/les/bi rights.  In the mainstrean het society, you just
don't see it that often; as a consequence it is a novelty when you DO.
However, with continued exposure to it, the novelty will wear off and it
will be accepted as nothing special.  When you cover up something and
pretend it doesn't exist, seeing it can shock you right out of your
drawers; let's face it, there isn't one person on this Earth who doesn't
know that women have breasts.  Seeing them is nonetheless, shocking when
they are covered up all the time.  Through exposure, though, acceptance
soon settles in.

I am a member of a predominantly het society.  Regardless of my
political stand on gay/les/bi rights, I do not EVER see two men 
kissing romantically, or two women holding each other romantically
(the shit "lesbian" garbage in porn doesn't count since that is for the
edification of the reader anyway and hence I suspect nowhere NEAR actual
lesbianism).  As a result, I also will be shocked out of my drawers to
see it, and I don't like admitting that, either.  I'm bothered by it, by
my inability to just accept this as normal.

However, in the society in which I am a part, it is NOT presented as
normal; it isn't presented at all.

The solution?  Dunno.  I am working to get over this; I know it's due to
the fact that I'm just not exposed to it, just like American men on Euro
beaches, and that with more exposure, I will accept it more easily, just
like American men on Euro beaches.  The exposure, though, means that I
am thrilled to see things like this Pride Festival, when I CAN be
exposed to it; I NEED to be exposed to it.  By "acting up," as the
saying goes, gay/les/bi people are doing the het world the biggest favor
they can, though most hets would rather get their nails pulled out than
admit it.  I'm angry that acting up usually entails things like . . . oh
. . . risking your *life*, but please, for any gay/les/bi readers,
CONTINUE ACTING UP.  Keep presenting these new images.  And please see
that even hets such as myself, who are solid supporters, will at first
be surprised to see you openly.

As far as possible when your life is not endangered, ACT UP.  We need to
see you.  When something is covered up (from breasts to sexual
preferences), you can pretend it doesn't exist.

I'm not sure why I posted this -- radzy's post just seems to have
triggered it.  Talking about oppression means not pretending it doesn't
exist.  ACT THE FUCK UP.  We need to see you badly.

Blessings,
Janis
 


Newsgroups: alt.pagan