HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rkf@wildrose.infoserv.com (Ray Fink)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Education and the Single World
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 92 23:09:41 -0700
Reply-To: wildrose!rkf@infoserv.com
Organization: Wild Rose Refugee Camp

allisson@turing.toronto.edu (H. Allisson Roome) writes:
>I have a question for you all -- how important is formal education
>versus native intelligence and self-education in those that you are
>romantically interested in?

>1.
>  You meet someone who is articulate, well-informed, and
>  knowledgeable on several diverse subjects.  After spending some
>  time with them and getting to enjoy their company how do
>  you feel about pursuing them as a romantic partner given that:

>2.
>  You meet someone who has a difficult time expressing themselves,
>  isn't aware of the world beyond their immediate sphere of
>  influence, and appears not to know an awful lot about
>  much of anything (except perhaps a narrow area). After spending
>  some time with them and getting to enjoy their company how do you
>  feel about pursuing them as a romantic partner given that:

Ok, I'll challenge the premise in #2.  I find that I very rarely 
enjoy the company of somebody who fits that description, so dating
them is not a likely question.  Blazing lust and sexual attraction
are great, but I probably won't call back.  (Well, okay, maybe
just once :-)

To answer the question, though, I'll take native intelligence, 
self-education, an open inquiring mind, etc over diplomas.  There's
a correlation, and I'm more likely to be interested _a_priori_ in
somebody who has a pedigree :-) but it's not a necessary condition
for me to be interested.


-- 
-- Ray

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: marv@netcom.com (Marvin Raab)
Subject: Re: Where to meet women?
Organization: user of Netcom Public Access Unix, SF Bay Area
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 20:06:41 GMT

In article <dfcqx8=@lynx.unm.edu> blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes:
>
>Its good to know that marvin is still around :)
>Now if we can only find Dan again....


   I haven't really read soc.singles in atleast a year and have even
stopped searching for my name in the group. Same subjects over and
over and over and over, too many college kids, nothing really exciting, etc.

  The post appeared because I didn't realize the cross-posting with
ba.singles. Sorry 'bout that


            -marvin


-- 
Marvin Raab                                  
marv@netcom.com                              Mountain View, CA 94040
apple.com!netcom.com!marv                    415-961-6501 (h)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: larry@b8.b8.ingr.com (Larry Billings)
Subject: Re: nkill  (Was: Re: KILLING a Poster rather than a Post)
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 17:57:03 GMT

In article <MARTINC.92Nov11182550@hatteras.cs.unc.edu>, martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:

 It sounds an awful lot
> like "do what I say or I'll kill you."

Are you saying this is a bad thing?

> --
> 		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu

Larry (Mass murderer in training) Billings
From: dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Teasing and other Games of Romance
Date: 6 Nov 92 21:17:04 GMT
Reply-To: dhardin@spcink.bbn.com (Dawn Hardin)
Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman Inc., Cambridge MA
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com

>In article <1992Nov5.234058.19042@jarvis.csri.toronto.edu> allisson@turing.toronto.edu (H. Allisson Roome) writes:
>-
>- Well, I stuck my $0.02 in, I told her to be a tease.  Even more
>- specifically, I told her to be a cock-tease (give a nickel, then
>- promise a dollar and deliver ten cents).  Especially since she

Yucch.  If this is a strange way of saying that she shouldn't be as
physically intimate as she'd like to be, then I could see it.  But taking
your words at face value, I think this is horrible advice.

Think Allisson.  Her problem is with *trust*.  How is jerking someone
around going to help her trust him later?  She's afraid that he doesn't
really value her, that he only wants to use sex as a love-substitute.
If that's what she's afraid of, then what's wrong with postponing intimacy
until she trusts him?  OK, she *wants* to sleep with him without putting
it off, but to be blunt, that's why the Goddess gave us hands and an
imagination.  If she feels so un-right about sleeping with him that she's
resorting to this crap, then she probably feels un-right enough to put
it off until she knows if he's worth trusting or not.  And if he's not
going to stick around to let her get to know him, then who needs it?  
If he really isn't trustworthy, again, who needs it?

Dawn
"Then I check out that chick Leda with the swan pecking at her pink egg tempera
nipple.  Hey, what that swan be doing?  And why?  And how 'bout those plump
maidens, those hot cherubic babes being presented to Apollo, Dionysius,
Neptune or one of those other well hung gods?"  by Bongwater
From: zagar@chester.cms.udel.edu (Randy Zagar)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Education and the Single World
Date: 12 Nov 92 01:26:22 GMT
Article-I.D.: news.BxKxBz.BJp
Reply-To: zagar@chester.cms.udel.edu
Organization: Marine Studies, University of Delaware

In article MnC@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu, Kiran Wagle asks:

>
>Didn't we already discuss this subject?
>

Probably so, but surely we can discuss it again.  Can't we ?!?

-Randy


 _____________________________________________________________________________
/                                                                             \
| Randy Zagar                            Get your priorities straight.        |
| Internet: zagar@Chester.CMS.UDel.Edu   No one on their death bed ever said  |
| Bell-net: 302/831-1139                 "Gee, if I'd only spent more time    |
|                                        at the office..."                    |
\_____________________________________________________________________________/
From: martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: nkill
Date: 12 Nov 92 01:53:29 GMT
	<MARTINC.92Nov8152214@grover.cs.unc.edu>
	<1992Nov11.070916.11329@netcom.com>
	<1689CB999.SURGDM@mizzou1.missouri.edu>
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: Diane's message of 11 Nov 92 19:11:44 GMT

In article <1689CB999.SURGDM@mizzou1.missouri.edu> Diane writes:

   In article <1992Nov11.070916.11329@netcom.com>
   rohwerwd@netcom.com (W. David Rohwer) writes:
   >
   >     Affirmative Action is simply reverse discrimination.  Minorities
	....
   >A person receives 5 extra points if that person is a minority.
   >Person W, a non-minority, earns a 95 score on the exam.  Person M,
   >a minority, earns a 91 score on the exam and gets 5 extra points which
   >gives her a total of 96.  Person M will be hired, although she is less
   >qualified than person W, because she is a minority.  That is clearly wrong.

   And if the Person M is a member of a minority *and* a veteran, she will
   get an extra 10 points for a grand total of 101% (does that make her
   overqualified?). Veterans are usually given at least 5 points.
   Considering that over 90% of all veterans are male, that would seem
   to make it an exercise in affirmative action, wouldn't it? Do we 'owe'
   veterans who volunteered for service any special consideration in
   the job market? I want to stress *volunteered*.

Well, the reasoning was that back when these rules were cast in stone,
Viet Nam Era veterans were a discriminated-against minority because
everyone thought they were psychotic baby-killers, even if they'd been
clerk typists at Fort Carson.  So your question seems to reduce to "do
we owe a discriminated-against minority any special consideration?"

If you answer "no", of course, you're claiming that you don't believe in
affirmative action at all.

But maybe it's a question of the volitional nature: so the real question
is "do we owe a discriminated-against minority any special consideration
if they choose to remain in that minority?"  Before you answer, recall
that a large proportion of people in the US believe that homosexuality
is also volitional.  


--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: euamts@eua.ericsson.se (Mats Henricson)
Subject: Re: Argh! Total, Complete misery.
Reply-To: euamts@eua.ericsson.se
Organization: Ellemtel Telecom Systems Labs, Stockholm, Sweden
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 08:58:56 GMT

In article 28732@samba.oit.unc.edu, Bathsheba.Grossman@launchpad.unc.edu (Bathsheba Grossman) writes:
#In article <1992Nov9.180508.17394@eua.ericsson.se> euamts@eua.ericsson.se writes:
#>#compartmentalized.  Depressed people typically do think of themselves
#>#as being unworthy of happiness, and find that their unhappiness spreads
#>#into other parts of their lives beyond whatever frustrated goal that's
#>#the immediate problem.
#>
#>This is not generally true, from the same reason as above. I had the first
#>depression in my life two weeks ago (slowly coming up now), and this was
#>from this "Jeeesus - why on earth should *I* be so out of luck?" reason.
#>Mats Henricson
#
#Po' baby.  How long did the dreadful thing last, 72 whole hours?  Were you
#near death?  I fear that the standards for depression hereabouts are such
#that you had best not generalize beyond your means.

Tsktsktsk! I know what depression is, in both ways:
- I've been in that shit myself for about 2 weeks (if you don't think that is
  long enough, tsktsktsk)
- By ex girlfriend has a depression including attempts to suicide, complete
  lack of interest for everything, not eating for days, just sitting in the
  sofa staring at the wall for whole days, etc etc etc.

At least the second example should satisfy even you. And she has NOTHING of
what was described above, i.e. "Depressed people typically do think of
themselves as being unworthy of happiness".

If you fail to see what I mean (I'm afraid you will this time also), look at
what the original text did: it was "generalize beyond your means".

Mats Henricson

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (eleanor.j.evans)
Subject: Re: Do you remember 1970 to 1980?
Organization: AT&T
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 13:20:50 GMT

In article <2FdArAZNBh106h@wildrose.infoserv.com> wildrose!rkf@infoserv.com writes:
>GCTHORNE@idbsu.idbsu.edu writes:
>>      As part of an impromptu research project, I'd like to know what
>>  YOU think the single most important ( dramatic, traumatic ) event of`
>>  1970 to 1980 was.

The day my baby sister was born.  My _twin_ baby sister.....


Piglet
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil)
Subject: Re: Argh! Total, Complete misery.
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 03:10:53 GMT

kevin@clsi.COM (Kevin Cameron) writes:


>In article <1992Nov4.062914.28363@mikejag.wimsey.bc.ca>, pally@mikejag.wimsey.bc.ca (Pally Hoffstein) writes:
>> In article <oneil.720774124@cwis> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
>> >tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
>> 
>> This is the most positive posting I've seen on this newsgroup since I started
>> getting it a month ago. I've been going through my own "aaargh, total, complete
>> misery phase" for about a year now and this post has cheered me more than about
>> anything else I've read. 
>> Sharon, keep posting! We need more like this.

Thanks, Trygve!  I, myself, spent about four years in a relationship that
broke up and believe me, breaking up is NOT fun.  But I honestly believe that
we make choices about what we will do when faced with change.  We *can*
choose to make positive decisions that will help us be happy.  Breaking up
with someone is NEVER the end of the world.  

I might add: there are definitely OTHER people out there.  It's hard to
believe, but there are lots of really nice people out there.  It's not always
easy to meet someone new and it really does help to be a happy, self-
confident person.

I always find I meet someone when I'm not even looking.  

>Maybe we should have:

>soc.singles.suicidal
>soc.singles.depressed
>soc.singles.miserable
>soc.singles.bored
>soc.singles.happy         (just for Nance)

Well, actually, I think that there's nothing wrong with being depressed
about the breakup of a relationship.  It's just that one needs to start
looking for happiness elsewhere.  

And it may very well be that one should  not seek happiness from another
person.  Seek happiness from yourself.  Seek out other positive people who
are also self-confident. 

>Kev :-)
>--

Sharon
oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 21:51:55 EDT
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: PRES DEBATE
 <lg0hdnINN1ge@news.bbn.com> <##cqfzk@lynx.unm.edu>
 <BxJvs2.KE9@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>

Kirian, how many dead lakes constitue something wrong?
Ever looked at the price over time curve for maple syrup?

What constitutes certainty of harm?  The supremacy of anerobic
organisms?

Graydon
Newsgroups: soc.singles,ba.singles
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: Where to meet women?
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 14:25:30 GMT

In article <1992Nov9.215104.2308@ads.com> charleen@ADS.COM (Charleen Bunjiovianna) writes:
>In article <1992Nov9.204237.28221@netcom.com> bob@netcom.com (Bob Becker) writes:
>>
>>The main point, though, is to get out and do "things".  Lots and
>>lots of "things".  Smile, be friendly, and TL&EH shall be yours.
>
>Bob is right here, in a way that only the originator of the Bob Becker
>Bike Boink Bright Blue Butt Button could be.
>
>I'd add, though, get out and do things for their own sake; i.e. because
>you enjoy them.  Bored?  You've undoubtedly got some friends who do some
>form of the popular recreational dances (ballroom, contra, square dancing).
>Ask them how they got started.  You might find you like it, and nothing
>is so attractive as someone who's having a good time.
>
>On the other hand, guys who show up for the sole purpose of meeting hot
>babes are spotted immediately.

and leave with all the candy.
 
================================================================================
 Ipsissimus of the Inner Order of Sesquipedalian Fruitcakes - I set'r free.Nyuk
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA (Andreas  Tovornik)
Subject: My Swiss Lover
Reply-To: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA
Organization: University of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 92 01:42:27 GMT


   
She's twenty-six years old and completely devoted to me,
She tells me only what I need to know.
She never complains and is with me wherever I go.

My father got bored with her after they had shared their souls.
He passed her on to me when I was eighteen.
He told me: "Son, take care of her. She's the best!"
Today she's scarred and disfigured.
She has CHARM and CHARACTER beyond all the rest!

Her name is "Rolex"

dreas
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: puter@orphan.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude)
Subject: Them wierd subjects (Was: What I like about soc.singles)
Summary: Pets and toys
Keywords: BA-A-A-A
Organization: Intergraph
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 22:10:15 GMT

 johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) tallies a sum of a day's postin's...

>And Marvin was just saying that he would just see the same topics over
>and over and over.  So, tell me,  when was the last time hampster butts
>were discussed here?  That and Welsh sheep (make that lots and lots of
>Welsh sheep) in the same day.  Who would'a thunk it?

 (Slides up to the bar)

"Bartender, a shot of Woolite on the rocks."

"Sure thing, Gene. Would you like it at your table?"

"No, I think I'll take a run in that round ferris-wheel-thingy."

"Can't let ya, Gene. That's an original part of the set of 2001."

"D_rats_."

-- 
(Puter is a deranged individual at puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: pally@mikejag.wimsey.bc.ca (Pally Hoffstein)
Subject: Re: Argh! Total, Complete misery.
Organization: mikejag (mike) is a private system in Vancouver, BC, Canada
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 07:48:52 GMT

In article <1992Nov5.220941.15558@galileo.cc.rochester.edu> jsmt@troi.cc.rochester.edu (Julia Smith) writes:
>In article <oneil.720774124@cwis> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
>>
>>There's something that is very attractive about self-confident people.
>>If you keep yourself in misery, you'll never meet anyone else. ... 
>>
>Actually, this isn't true.  If you are totally miserable all the time
>and have fatally low self-esteem, you will still run into the occasional
>masochistic soul who will love you devotedly.  And you will hate him
>for it.  After all, how could he love someone so totally worthless
>as yourself?  What's wrong with him, anyway?
>   It's a recipe for massive pain, but not an uncommon one.  And definately
>definately worth avoiding!
> 

It seems established that miserable people with low self-esteem will not find
a happy relationship. But if you can't meet anyone or get a relationship going
how do you develope self-esteem? It's seems like a trap, a catch-22 situation.
You need some results to develope self-esteem and some self-esteem to develope
results.
How does one break out of this cycle?

Pally Hoffstein
Vancouver, Canada
-- 
Television permits many millions     |   I threw bitter tears at the ocean, 
of people to share a joke and to     |   But all that came back was the tide.
still be lonely. - T.S. Eliot        | 		- Sarah McLachlan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: loosemore-sandra@cs.yale.edu (Sandra Loosemore)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What is attractive to women?
Date: 10 Nov 1992 18:54:55 -0500
Organization: staff hacker @ Yale Haskell project
NNTP-Posting-Host: functor.systemsz.cs.yale.edu
In-reply-to: xanadu@t-bone.cs.unlv.edu's message of Tue, 10 Nov 92 22:06:47 GMT

xanadu@t-bone.cs.unlv.edu (Thomas Wilson) writes:

   What do you find attractive in MOTMS when:

   1. You first meet them?

Hmmm.  Being literate (in the sense of well-read, not just knowing how
to read).  Having a nice smile.  Having a sense of humor.  Being a
little nonconformist.  Being polite.  Being kind to animals.

   2. Once you've known them awhile?

Same as above.

   3. Before you meet them, when you first lay eyes on them?

Hanging out in bookstores or libraries is a good sign!  :-)  I also
tend to look for absence of bad signs such as wedding rings,
cigarettes, alcohol, slobby appearance.  It's not 100% infallible, but
I also consider wearing a suit and/or tie to be a bad sign (conformity).

-Sandra
From: pm3_norr@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Paul Norris)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: WHAT DO AMERICAN MEN THINK ABOUT AMERI
Date: 10 Nov 92 22:43:55 GMT
Organization: University of the West of England, Bristol


}   Larry Billings (larry@b8.b8.ingr.com) wrote:
}   : People living in the country are more likely to be friendly to people 
}   : they do not know.  

 aaron@minster.york.ac.uk writes:
}     There speaks the wisdom of a man who has never been to North Wales

 (Charles R. Martin) writes:
[Encounter near Ruthin (N Wales)]
}I'd have to say this doesn't match my experience.  Maybe it's the
}accent?  I've noticed English people talk funny.

Not as funny as the Welsh though

Paul


-- 
Remember.  A Dragon is for life.
Not just for Hogswatchnight.
From: mysti@sybase.com (Mysti)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: a question in search of an answer!!!
Keywords: men
Date: 12 Nov 92 00:17:51 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Sybase, Inc.

In article <644@ka2qhd.de.com> bill@ka2qhd.de.com (Bill Luzenko) writes:
>I went to a dance and danced with my male friend. Since I am a man I was
>called queer. question: why can two women dance together and be friends,
>but when two men do the same they are two homos? Can someone answer this
>question? WHY!!!

There seem to be a lot of restrictions on male behavior in American culture,
and I get the impression that those restrictions are tighter on the east
coast than the west (outside of Bakersfield, that is!).

Men are often reviled for showing emotions, for physical intimacy of
other men for any reason, etc. etc.  Women are allowed to show emotions
and express physical intimacy more.  Why the culture evolved that way
is beyond my area of expertise....
--
========================
Mysti Rubert, Oaktown, California

"It't not the men in my life, but the life in my men."  Mae West
From: mjln_ltd@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Mikeey Jean Lin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Top 5 resason...
Date: 11 Nov 92 03:02:33 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

In <Nov.10.16.45.19.1992.18015@romulus.rutgers.edu> nehs@romulus.rutgers.edu (-Killer Klondike-) writes:

>Top 5 things a man doesn't want to hear from a woman he's interested in...

>5. Why?
>4. No.
>3. I don't know.
>2. You are such a nice guy.
>1. I just want to be friends.

>-the Perpetual Bachelor-

	***SMILE*** I think you forgot to add in another line. 8-)

	OH HIM! He's ONLY a friend... (AAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!)


	Boy, I'm glad I'm no longer single. 8-)

						    Mikeey
					mjln_ltd@uhura.cc.rochester.edu
From: jsmt@troi.cc.rochester.edu (Julia Smith)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Argh! Total, Complete misery.
Date: 7 Nov 92 00:55:52 GMT
Article-I.D.: galileo.1992Nov7.005552.18429
Organization: University of Rochester (Rochester, NY)

In article <1992Nov6.074852.5847@mikejag.wimsey.bc.ca> pally@mikejag.wimsey.bc.ca (Pally Hoffstein) writes:
>
>It seems established that miserable people with low self-esteem will not find
>a happy relationship. But if you can't meet anyone or get a relationship going
>how do you develope self-esteem? It's seems like a trap, a catch-22 situation.
>You need some results to develope self-esteem and some self-esteem to develope
>results.
>How does one break out of this cycle?
 
By realizing that your own personal worth is not derived from anyone other
than yourself.  By spending time figuring out who you are, what you are
about, and what is valuable about yourself *irregardless of who values it*.
By recognizing that your esteem cannot be granted by another person,
nor can it be taken away by another person, because it resides only in
yourself.  By realizing that the only person you have control over
is yourself, and that you are the only person who is responsible for how
you feel.  And by respecting that about other people as well.

You do not need "results" in the form of approval from others to generate
your own self-esteem.  If that is where you are looking for your own sense
of worth, that is the first thing to address in breaking the cycle.
  
--j
From: wall@hel4.brl.mil (Jeff Wall)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Philly Boink
Date: 9 Nov 92 16:08:47 GMT
Organization: U.S. Army Human Engineering Lab
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com
X-UserAgent: Nuntius v1.1.1d7
X-XXDate: Mon, 9 Nov 92 23:10:24 GMT

I hate to waste bandwidth like this ........

Hey Liz I keep trying to respond to your email but my machine doesn't
seem to like yours.  Do you have another address or someone who can
forward messages.

Just wanted to let you know I'm still interested.

Jeff
wall@hel4.brl.mil
Newsgroups: soc.singles