From: ren@Turing.ORG (Karen Prestemon)
Subject: Re: I had an abortion two days ago
Organization: The Turing Project, Charlottesville Virginia.
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 06:02:22 GMT


I am the original poster of this thread.  It has now been a week and a half
since my abortion, and I'd like to thank all the people who emailed me
and expressed their opinions to me, even if you didn't agree with my
decision.

It isn't anyone's dream come true to have an abortion. I feel that it
really is a tragedy that it exists at all, but I strongly dislike the
notion that abortion is a problem in and of itself.  It's really a
manefestation of the symptoms of our diseased society.  But making things
like abortion just disappear doesn't solve anything.  Having children
conceived by accident doesn't solve anything.  We are living in a world
where parents are forced by economic reality to leave their kids
in daycare while they both work just to make ends meet.  People are
taking less responsibiltity for the raising of their children and
leaving it to the hands of strangers.  Burned out teachers are being
expected to be the motivating forces behind children's learning
because parents just can't be there for their kids.  

It seems that our society is weighted down by traditions that have
long overstayed their welcome.  Who says a work day has to be 8 hours
from 8/9 to 5/6?  Why is it not possible for professionals to work
fewer hours in the day, for more days of the week, or to work in
more flexible hours?  We know that children are suffering from
all kinds of neglect, and that society suffers in turn from it, but
no one seems to be looking at the big picture.  Tunnel vision frustrates
me. 

For some, the solution seems to be to turn back the clock to
some greater, glorious time when there were nuclear familes aplenty,
and no one ever entertained the notion of premarital sex.  I grew
up in a Cathloic environment, with two parents who waited until
after their marital vows were said to have sex, and I was literally
shocked when, as a teenager, I learned that humans have ALWAYS engaged
in non-marital sex, though not everyone makes this choice. Time magazine
has this special issue out now that attempts to make a few predictions
(it's interesting, though it is one big special advertising section for
IBM  :).  One writer points out that when the creators of the Jetson's
envisioned the future, they saw they "typical" nuclear family going
about it's fabled business--mom still shops like crazy, dad works
hard, the daughter has no career plans, etc.  This, however, it not
thw way in which we are going to approach the 21st century.  Face
the facts, folks, divorce isn't going anywhere, and single parent
families aren't going to disappear any time soon.  

Nothing was perfect about the 50's.  Both my parents were raised by 
their mothers after their alcoholic fathers vanished into thin air.  
My husband's paternal grandmother lived with an abusive husband.  It's
time we started letting go of the illusion of past morality, and
begin taking a more wholistic approach towards curing our society.
Saving fetuses from abortion is one thing, but it isn't enough to
"fix" things.  So much energy is being expended to fight over things
like abortion, with so little effort going into making the quality
of the lives that are here better.  I just feel that we need to begin
revolutionizing the systems that perpetuate such "necessary evils"
as abortion.  I see the case of the 12 year old divorcing himself
from his mother as a very importnat step.  I can't see how anyone can
criticize a child's right to be raised in a nurturing, loving
environment.

--Karen

Newsgroups: talk.abortion