From: davei@wam.umd.edu (The One True Dave)
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 19:39:59 GMT

In article <1992Dec10.154324.2138@ccsvax.sfasu.edu> z_owensbw@ccsvax.sfasu.edu writes:
>In article <egPBVB1w165w@mertwig.UUCP>, xyzzy@mertwig.UUCP (Daniel Drucker) writes:
>> Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!
>> 
>> Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....
>> 
>> HA! _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex
>> Top THAT!
>> 
>> I'm running NextStep on Atari 2600 Video Game System.
>> 
>> Just last night I was able to get Windows to boot on my S
>> game.
>> 
>> I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer
>> Game-Boy.
>> I just installed a 10 Gigabyte Drive to handle all the rep
>> However, it only runs at 230,000 Baud due to the large dri
>> slowing it down.
>> 
>> I fear I will not be getting news any longer...  The batter
>> calculator-watch are running out.
>> 
>> My calculator-watch is solar...  And if I turned off the lig
>> ONE would be getting news...
>> 
>> Feh. I'm so slick NASA just awarded ME the TERADATA contract
>> my TV remote! They liked my proposal mainly because I'm ALSO
>> shoehorn in the TEXAS SUPERCOLLIDER computations between comm
>> Beat THAT!
>> 
>> Well, well, well. SSC calculations, huh. I built a system out
>> inches of wire, 3 pennies and a AA battery that does realtime
>> calculations of particle vectors during the Big Bang. A comple
>> simulation of the first 2 years of the life of the universe, a
>> to the theoretical limit, takes about 5 seconds.
>> 
>> And you guys think you are so great.  I just spent the last hal
>> getting X11 to run on my slide rule.  I am still having problem
>> connecting it to the net around here, but I would welcome any
>> suggestions.
>> 
>> So what!!! I'm running Xinitrc, TWMRC, Internet, and 27 muds off
>> paperclip.  Not to mention the fact that I am designing a new fo
>> television with 7000 pixels based off a piece of tissue paper.
>> 
>> Man, that's baby stuff.  I'm running a particle accelerator utili
>> matter-antimatter reactions in my doorknob, and calculating every
>> the fourth dimension using a single dip switch and a large glass
>> 
>> Child's play, I have an old piece of cheese that is, at this very
>> raytracing an actual model of the universe five hours from now, wh
>> at the same time calculating the heat produced from the new intel
>> Pentium.
>> 
>> And you people think that you are hackers! I'm currently engaged in
>> which involves simultaneous simulation of multiple universes (To se
>> would happen if various constants change. Pi=8.4 is an interesting
>> hardware consists of a single wooden pencil (no paper). With it, I
>> real-time simulations of 2^32 universes in parallel.
>> 
>> You guys are wimps!!  I've just finished converting a microwave oven
>> paradimensional teleportation device.  The only problem I'm having s
>> that my breakfast bagel keeps disappearing!!  May have to eat it raw
>> 
>> Sorry, that's my fault.  I'm afraid that the high-energy laser-pumped
>> negentropic vortex generator I made from my own nostril hair, which i
>> currently cranking out entire new universes at the rate of 7.6 per pi
>> was breaking the FCC emissions limits and gronking your microwave's c
>> panel.  It should work properly now.  Also, my cat Arthur was FTPing
>> of terabytes of PD software from Epsilon Eridani in the year 4741 A.D
>> the faster-than-light Ethernet interface I built for him, and this ma
>> been loading the Net a little yesterday.  My sincere apologies to eve
>> noticed any performance degradation.
>> 
>> Damn, I thought I was doin' smoe really advanced R&D. But I only have
>> humble feather pen with build in spell checking. It checks all languag
>> since Adam & Eve plus a few forthcoming languages. But after what I've
>> here, thats not good enough for a Nobel Price..I have to work harder..
>> Maybe some of the languages from outer space will help ?? I just have
>> use my FingerNail Time&Universe Transporter(tm) to get there and learn
>> 
>> You're all a bunch of lazy pseudo-programmers. When you have, as I, set
>> up an entire University Unix net (with Mail, IRC, more than 2 MUDs, ano-
>> nymous ftp, etc etc etc etc etc ) on a Turing Machine, we'll talk.
>> 
>> Hahaha! Fools! You think that's impressive? I've wired together every
>> computer on the Internet with Quantum-Thin Wire (tm), and programmed it
>> to act like a really big abacus. Running 8 x 10^100^10^10^10^4
>> calculations a millisecond, I hope to solve the equation 5x = 10
>> by sometime next week. Now _that's_ progress.
>> 
>> Then how about this I've constructed the first computer ever made of one
>> single Hydrogen atom. There are a couple of advantages with it; 1. it can
>> be inhaled for transport; 2. it relies entirely on voice-detecting for inp
>> and a hologram for output (that was the tricky part), and 3. it creates
>> two copies of itself every second, allowing for multiple processes! I'm
>> speaking this reply right now to a cloud in front of me, using a Voice
>> Detection version (mine, really) of X-Windows in 3D. NEXT!
>> 
>> All accomplishments pale beside mine Managed to re-write DOS 5.0 so that
>> it breaks the the 640K barrier.
>> 
>> Oh yeah?  Well...well...I've got an AMIGA!  BWAHAHAHA!
>> 
>> heh.... and here, I've spent the last somewhere between 9 to 20 billion years
>> developing a system to simulate everything we can see.... I call it
>> "the universe"
>> beat that!
>> 
>> And I take care of the stuff we CAN'T see.
>> 
>
> He......I just taught Sylvestor Stallone how to act.> 

(*snort*) I just got my Atari 400 to simulate the universe as it will be
in about 18 hours.

Oh, be careful crossing the street... never mind, it's inevitable. I
predicted your care.

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