From: intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: couple ans
Date: 28 Aug 92 18:19:55 GMT
Article-I.D.: milton.intrigue.715025995
Organization: University of Washington

kirkpatr@sparky.serum.kodak.com (Dan Kirkpatrick (x37370)) writes:

>In article <1992Aug27.122321.58440@cc.usu.edu> manjulav@cc.usu.edu writes:
>>I have a question:
>>My boyfriend just left on a mission yesterday and has asked me to wait 
>>for him. I have promised him that I will wait, but he has asked me to 
>>date other guys in order to find out if I really like him.
>>[..........]  Please if you can let me know if there is a possiblity that out
>>relationship might work after he returns.
>>-Manj

>There is a good possibility it will work out once he returns.  But you need
>to at least date other people to prove to yourself that he is the one for you.
>What you DON'T want to do is let these dates turn into relationships where
>he will come home and find out that you'd rather be with someone else.

Well now I'm going to have to disagree here, Dan.  First of all -- she's talking
about "like"!  She says he wants her to date other guys in order to find out
if she really "likes" him!  Manj, hon, how old are you?  19 maybe?  Ever had
another boyfriend?  Holy cow, girl!  Get out there and date.  GET comfortable
talking and being with other boys and preferrably men and grow up a bit.
In other words, get on with your life.  Sure sure, in your heart he is THE
one.  You continue to write to him, you continue to pray for his speedy
return, you continue to daydream about your wonderful life together.  But in
the meantime, you go to school every day, and study and work and go to parties
and whatever else it is you do.  Guys may or may not ask you out.  But I
will *guarantee* you that you will get lonely for male companionship.  Don't
fight it - go out!  If your relationship with this missionary is meant to be,
then it'll happen.  If not, not.  If you fall in love with somebody else, well
hey, it's a whole heck of a lot better than marrying somebody and THEN
finding out they're not the one for you.  Plus which, you're talking about 
TWO YEARS!!  You can be sure that he's going to change, too.  There are no
guarantees it's going to work out.

>Date to get a feel, and don't let anything get serious until he returns and 
>you give it a chance with him first.

Sometimes you just can't help it if things "get serious".  Love happens - all
the time.

>  But you need to see
>other people to keep your options at least a little free.  If you don't, you
>will sufficate yourself.

Oh yeah, and then again you just might suffocate, too.

Angelwing - Been there, dont that - remind me to tell you about the Mormon
	    saxophone player I had with my band once.  *He'd* just gotten
            back from his mission and before the tour was over .... well




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> /////   |       -=-DAN KIRKPATRICK-=-         |->kirkpatr@clpd.KODAK.COM <-|
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