From: mehta@INSL.McGill.CA (Kiran Mehta)
Subject: Ajit Jokes (a list)
Organization: INSL, McGill University, Montreal, Canada
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 92 21:51:49 GMT

Source: various

AJEET KE PHATTE ......

Robert (to Ajit): Bass, mujhe actor banna hai.
Ajit: Dilli ke laal kilay pe khade ho jao, Raabert Red-ford ban
     jaoge.
-----
Ajit: Robert, isko Harshad Mehta poison pila do. Yeh GROWMORE
      sey NO MORE ho jayega.
-----

Ajeet : Robert, isko CENTRIFUGE mein daal do. Paata chal jayega
        ki chakkar kya hai.
           -------

-----
Ajit is getting irritated by some classical music.
Ajit: Robert.
Robert: Yes boss?
Ajit : Is symphony ke conductor ko le aao.
 (Robert comes back after some time)
Robert: Boss le aayaa.
Ajit : Ise kaat ke liquid nitrogen mein daal do.
Robert : Boss , lekin kyon.
Ajit: Saala conductor se semiconductor aur semiconductor se super conductor 
    ban jayega.

-----
Aspirant : Ajit saab muje minister ban na hain
Ajeet    : Roberrt 
Robert : yess basss
Ajeet : ise maar ke file mein dal do , apne aap cabinet mein chala jaye ga.
 
-----
"Peter, tum motor mein aao, maneckshaw tum rickshawmein aao,
mikael, tum sikael mein aao, aur han mona darling, tum nahaati raho"

----- 
" Peter ko babysitter bhej do,
Tony ko pony pe bitha do,
Mack ko pack karlo,
Aur Mona Darling, Tum hume naach dikhaon."

----- 
Ajeet: Maaikel, hamare mahmaan ke baayen haath mein citizen garhi
       hai. Jaao uske daayen haath mein yeh HMT garhi baandh aao.
Robert : Pur baas kyon?
Ajeeit:  Isse woh do(2)  garhi kaa mahmaan ho jayega.
 
-----
setting: Boss ordering his chela to kill the enemy

Ajeet: "Raabert ise Pascal Poison pila do. Yeh begin se
               end ho jayega."
 
Ajeet: "Raabert, ise hamlet poison pila do. Yeh "to_be" se 
        "not_to_be" ho jayega."

Ajeet : "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko liquid oxygen ke chamber mein
         daaal dooo ....  liquid isse jeene nahin dega....oxygen iisse
         marne nahin dega..

Ajeet : "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo...
         society isse jeene nahin degee...
         security isse marne nahin degee.
 
Ajeet : "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do... mar bhi jayega,
         finish bhi acchi aa jayegi.


Ajeet: "Michael, ise superconductor bana do.
         ticket bechte bechte marega"
 
----- 
Setting : Ajeet is planning some smooth opeartion (like smuggling gold out)
Ajeet : "Raabert, tum aaj raat warsova beach wale flat pe maikil aur
         Peetar ke saath daimonds leke aa jana. Aaj ka code hei - black
         cobra. Aur wheel powder lana mat bhoolna !"
Lily(baffled a bit) : " Magar boss, wheel powder kisliye ? "
Ajeet: " Badi bholee ho ! safai wheel powder se hee aati hei.
         Aur ek baat dhyan se suno :- Is se haath bhee nahin jalte !"

-----
Sona
-----
Ajit: "peter, tum jaake sona laayo"
Peter: "sir, headache hai"
Ajit: "Head ek ho ya do, tumhe jaana hi padega".
 
----- 
Michael: "Sir, sona kahan hai?"
Ajit: "kahin bhi so jayo, hamhe kya parva?"
Ajeet: Itni saari jagaha padi hai, kahin bhi so jaao!

-----
Raabert:"Baas bass, sona kahan hai?"
Ajeet: (taking out his gun) "Le, ham abhi tujhe jindagi bhar ke liye sula dete hain"
 
-----
Raabert:"Baas bass, sona kahan hai"
Ajeet :"Abhi weh hamare bathroom mein naha rahi hai?"

-----
Ajit: Mona, tum Tony ke saath mat jao.
Mona(perplexed): Pur boos, kyon ?
Ajit: Tum jaogi, to Monatony ho jaegi.

----- 
Ajeet:  Mikael, suna hai tumhari beti aajkal javan ho chali hai?!!
Mike: Haan hujoor lekin voh to bechari goongi hai.
Ajeet: Haan Haan! hame kaun sa Ramayana padhvana hai!!!!!
 
----- 
Sylvia- Boss, Michael ne phir se mission fail kar diya.
Ajeet: Haan Haan! hamne to pahle hi kaha tha, use gaay ki khal pahana kar
       mat bhejo.
       Dekha na use raste me do saand mil gaye!

----- 
Setting : Ajeet's smuggled goods have been  captured
Ajeet : "Peetar, Tum scootar pe jaao !"
        "Maikil, Tum caicil pe jaao !"
       Tony, tum pony pe jaao,
       Saar, tum car pe jao,
        " Mona Daarling, tum figure skating karti raho !"
         Mei paidal aata hoon....

-----  
Ajeet sends Robert on some errand, with the following directions :
      "Raabutt,.....................................
       .............................................   (censored)
       laout-te samay Bank of Patiala loot lena,
       markit me chillar ki kami hai.

-----
Ajeet : Raabutt, Michael ki g__d me TNT daal ke uda do.
Robert: (looking confused)
        Lekin baas, TNT kyon, dynamite kyon nahin ?
Ajeet : Bevokoof, is-se yeh NTT se nan-NTT ban jayega.

-----
Ajeet: Heinh, heinh, heinh, Noriega bans    na bajegi bansuri!!!!
 
Ajeet in US
What would Ajeet say if he was the US President (on capturing Noriega )
" Saale ko khub maro, saala Manual se Automatic ho jayega."
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