From: Tagi@cup.portal.com (Tagi Mordred Nagashiva)
Newsgroups: alt.magick
Subject: Cat.Magick, a Sekhmet Production
Date: Thu,  1 Oct 92 19:06:39 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)

BAST Theatre presents

Cat.Magick

Featuring your favorite virtual personalities.
======================================================================

SCENE 1  [Dusk.  A typical eve in Cat.Magick.  Felines frolic and play,
          some of the old cats laze about sharing war stories, the
          occasional fight breaks out - all is as it should be.]

[Nubicat enters]

Nubicat: Hi!

Bratcat: (irritated) Hi yourSELF!

Most others: Yawn.

Tagicat: Errrrrrp.

Nubicat: Isn't anyone gonna talk to me??

[Bratcat, who definitely got out of bed onto the iced floor,
 is itching for a fight and begins to yowl softly.]

Bratcat: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Nubicat: Well?

Shavacat: Wanna see some pictures of my kittens?

Joshcat: Are they mutants like you?

(Many groans, some snickers)

Nubicat: Hey!  I'm talking!!

Bratcat: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRR

Catopher: Not for long

Nubicat: Huh??  What do you mean?

Mandacat: He means that Brat's got it in for you.

Nubicat: Huh???

[Joshcat displays FAQ for all to see, which has instructions regarding
 catfights and other handy tips.  He tosses in a morsel of his favorite
 Beast felinosopher.]

Nubicat: (ignoring FAQ)  What?  Hey!  Why doesn't anybody want to play
                         with me?

Bratcat: (growing louder) ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Tagicat: I think they do, but it isn't what you have in mind.

LeCat: I read a book the other day.  Let me tell you about it...
      (Most cats listen with delight.)

Nubicat:  HEY!

Bratcat: (reaching climax) RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Nubicat: Hey Brat, what are you doing?

Jasoncat: (to Nubi) Too little, too late.  (shakes head)

Nubicat: Huh?

[Bratcat erupts in a classic fury of clawball, pouncing on Nubicat
 and administering a brutal beating.]

Jasoncat: Told you so.

Tagicat: Told you so.

[Nubicat begins to cry pitifully.]

Nubicat: Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Joshcat: (in mock concern) Tsk Tsk.

Fridaycat: Brat, that wasn't necessary.

Peggicat: Indeed, it *did* seem a bit unfair.

Shavacat: Wanna see some pictures of my kittens?

Bunnicat: Nice form, Bratty.

Leocat: Yeah, I especially liked the bite to the leg.

Fridaycat: Honestly!  You'd think we could have some more class around here.

LeCat: I remember a great story about class...
       (Some cats saunter off with him to listen.)

Tagicat: Yes Friday, but how do YOU define 'class'?

(All groan)

Nubicat: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Joshcat: (kicking Nubicat) Shut *up*!

Fridaycat: You oughtta have given Nubi a decent warning at LEAST!

Tagicat: I say Nubi deserved it.

Leocat: Yeah, serves Nubi right.

Bratcat: (self-bathing, proudly) Besides, it was fun.

(Some laughter)

Fridaycat: FUN?!  Nubi was badly hurt!

Bunnicat: Hurt?  Just some flesh wounds.  They'll heal.

Joshcat: (kicking Nubi) SHUT UP I SAY!

Nubicat: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Tagicat and Will-i-cat begin to play a game.  Some others join in.)

Fridaycat: If you can't play nice, why bother playing at all?

Leocat: Cuz some of us like to fight.

Mandacat: (to Nubi) Nubi, please calm down.

[Nubicat begins to calm, until Joshcat delivers another kick, which
 begins a fresh bout of wailing.]

Nubicat: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Peggicat: I think that cats should do what they want to do.

Bunnicat: Sounds reasonable to me.

Fridaycat: (along with a few others) Sure!  And have repeats of this beating?!

Jasoncat: You do know _why_ Nubi got a beating, don't you?

(Tagicat launches into a verbose discertation on the pleasures of cat-boxing.)

Nubicat: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Catopher: Because it was necessary?

Mandacat: (stroking Nubi) Calm down now, honey.

Joshcat: (dripping with sarcasm) I have a feeling that Jason is going to
          'enlighten us'.

Leocat: Because Nubi stepped on my tail?

Shavacat: Anybody wanna see some pictures of my kittens?

Fridaycat: Because Brat was RUDE!

(Some murmurs of agreement are heard, especially among the less vocal cats.)

Bunnicat: Nah, he gave Nubi fair warning.

Tagicat: Yup, I even hinted at it myself.

Fridaycat: That?  Nubi has never had a fight before!  It wasn't FAIR!!  

Bunnicat: Yeah, but it was pretty to watch.

Jasoncat: (assuming his best know-it-all tone)
          Nubicat got a beating as an initiation to Cat.Magick.

Peggicat: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGICK.
          THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGICK.
          (She repeats this several times, like a new mantra.)

LeCat: Funny thing about initiations...
       (A group of cats moves off to listen to LeCat's story.)

Tagicat: I have a theory about why Nubi got a beating.
         (This goes on for a few minutes.)

All: (yawning) That's nice.

Fridaycat: Well I, for one, would like to see an end to such beatings.

Peggicat: They *are* kind of fun to watch.

Catopher: I like to see flying furr.

Joshcat: (to Catopher snidely) I could arrange that.

(Nubicat is brought to a whimper by Mandacat's gentle strokes.)

Colincat: I think _The Necronomicon_ has something to say about
          catfights... (a group moves off to listen, some are
                        giggling nonstop.)

Leocat: These beatings are an *institution*!

Mandacat: They're a *shame*!

Fridaycat: They're a DISGRACE!

(Several catfights break out at this point and nobody notices 
 Joshcat deliver another swift kick to Nubicat.)

Nubicat: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Peggicat: I saw that, Josh.

Tagicat: No you didn't, Peggy, you INFERRED it.

Mandacat: (reassuring Nubi) There there.

Bratcat: (finishing up the tongue-bath in laziness) I broke a nail.

Bunnicat: (half-seriously) Maybe we should appoint a catfight
          regulation-squad!

Fridaycat: Now *there's* an idea.

Dartcat: (excitedly)  I wanna join!  I wanna join!

Leocat: That's ridiculous.

Tagicat: I won't cooperate.  I am the Black Brother, 666.

Peggicat: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGICK.
          THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGICK.  (repeated)

Nubicat: (beginning to run low on tears) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Bunnicat: Ok, but we could *pretend* to form it!

(some laughter)

Fridaycat: This is no laughing matter.

Catopher: (sarcastically) You're right, it isn't even amusing.

Jasoncat: I'll let you know when *I* think it's funny.

Mandacat: If Josh would stop kicking Nubi there'd be less yowling.

Joshcat: (innocently) His sign read 'Kick Me,' so..... (shrugs)

Catopher: You can READ, Josh?

All: Ooooooooooooooooooooooo

(Joshcat makes a mental note.)

Tagicat: I have a theory about why Josh kicks Nubi...

All: (yawning) That's nice.

Bratcat: (to Tagi) rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Peggicat: Actually, I enjoy the style of a swift kick now and then.

(Peggicat stuns all by swiftly kicking Nubicat in the head.)

Nubicat: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Fridaycat: Stop that!

Mandacat: (to Nubi) There there.

Leocat: Was *that* necessary?

Joshcat: (pleased) It seems so.

Bunnicat: I don't think so, but it isn't my place to say.

Tagicat: I have a theory about whether or not that was necessary.

Peggicat: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGICK.
          THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGICK.

Catopher: You know what you can do with your theories, Tagi.

Bratcat: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Shavacat: Anybody want to see pictures of my kittens??


(curtains close, SCENE 1 ends)

======================================================

Thyagi (cat)
---------------------------------------------------
Does this have anything to do with magick?