From: cloister@milton.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Subject: The FAQ list, as it stands.
Summary: this is what we have so far, folks.
Keywords: unfinished faq list
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 23:15:57 GMT

ok.  after countless hours slaving over a hot editor, here's the faq list.
it's not done.  there are 15 out of 38 sections that have nothing done yet.  i
make no apologies; i'm only human.  as far as i know, i have included all the
full entries that have been sent to me.  if you have sent me an entry and it's
not in here, send me mail reminding me.  if you've sent me discussion about one
or more entries, don't.  i haven't had time to distill those discussions into
entries yet.

if you have comments or suggestions regarding any of this, please send me mail.
i am getting desperate for volunteers to do the marked sections.

so with appropriate fanfare, here it is:

		      Frequently Asked Questions List for
			   Alt.Sexual.Abuse.Recovery

This is a list of commonly discussed topics on Alt.Sexual.Abuse.Recovery
(hereafter ASAR), issues relating to healing from abuse, resources you can
access outside this newsgroup, etc.  It is the compiled work of many
contributors to ASAR.  If you have comments or suggestions, please e-mail them
to me (I'm listed at the bottom) or post them to the group for discussion.

This is a long list, so the first thing you will find is an outline.  There was
an idea that there be a short and a long version of this list.  I have decided
that this isn't particularly necessary, and have put the extra material from
the long list at the bottom.  You can stop reading any time, after all.  To aid
in finding sections, I have used a decimal index system.  You may skip to a
particular section by searching for the index number, ex: "2.2.4" for the
section on "Meta discussions".

I have marked sections as follows:  
  No mark: The section is complete
  An "*" : The section is missing.  Someone who feels that this is particularly
	   relevant to them please volunteer to write it.
  A "~"  : The section is somewhat complete, but could use work.  See above
	   call for help.

The outline:      (compiled and organized by Hineni)

1.    Welcome & General Information about ASAR
  1)  What is ASAR?
  2)  How do I post post anonymously?
  3)  How do I use anonymous e-mail?
* 4)  How did ASAR get started?
  5)  Common Acronyms

2.    Who we are
  1)  Who "belongs" here.
  2)  Posting etiquette.
      1) Ground Rules.
      2) Spoiler Warnings.
      3) What's Great, What's OK, What's Unacceptable.
      4) "Meta" discussions.

3.    Safety
  1)  Is it safe?  (Nature of public posting place)
  2)  What do I do if I feel attacked in the group?
  3)  What does the group do when a person is abusive?

4.    Frequently Discussed Issues
  1)  What can/can't ASAR do for me?
  2)  Can I start another thread on these topics?
  3)  How can I tell if I've been abused if I have no memories?
* 4)  Sometimes I think I'm making it all up; am I crazy?
* 5)  How much of my childhood _should_ I remember?
  6)  Medication: To take or not to take?
  7)  Cutting & self-mutilation: Why do I do it and how can I stop?
* 8)  What I have to say is not worth talking about; why should I post?
* 9)  Should I forgive the abuser(s)?

5.    Resources
* 1)  How do I report a suspected/known abuser?
* 2)  General support (gynecologists, rape crisis center, phone hotline, etc.)
* 3)  Specific support organizations (w/ contact for local support groups)
* 4)  Groups
  5)  SIGs  
~ 6)  Books and articles
~ 7)  Miscellaneous resources

6.    Things You Might Want to Know
  1)  List of famous survivors
  2)  "If it helps," a pep talk.
* 3)  Stats on prevalence of abuse
  4)  Medications (common ones listed with side effects, etc.)
* 5)  Common "symptoms" (nightmares, cutting, anorexia/bulimia, physical)

7.    Things some people find helpful.
* 1)  Child Within stuff
* 2)  Ways of comforting self
* 3)  When you're scared of a particular person
* 4)  Ways of bringing things up in ASAR (eg asking for gentle responses)

===========================================================================
1. Welcome & General Information about ASAR
1.1)   What is ASAR?      (by Matt Fields)

As the name suggests, ASAR is a public forum on recovery from all types of
sexual abuse, including rape experienced by adults as well as by children.  It
is frequented by both males and females, and is accessible to everyone,
including supporters, health care professionals, perpetrators, and the general
public.  The cast of readers and authors changes constantly.  Recently
discussed topics include self-inflicted violence, multiple personalities,
confronting/naming perpetrators, dealing with the holidays, explaining oneself
to prying members of the general public, self-defense, nightmares, etc.

1.2)   How do I post anonymously?    (by Matt Fields)

An anonymous posting service is available.  Instructions on the use of this
service are periodically posted within the newsgroup, and are also available
via electronic mail to

			asar-admin@wpi.wpi.edu

which is the address of the administrator of the anonymous posting service.  He
explains that he reads postings before distributing them with the return
address stripped off, but he doesn't edit them.  At this writing, the anonymous
posting service assigns a code number to each user, associated with that userUs
electronic return address.  As a consequence, the system does not have any
automated provisions for distinguishing between different users of a shared
computer account.  Currently the APS resides at wpi.wpi.edu.  This is subject
to change (hopefully with plenty of warning), so keep your eyes open.

1.3)   How do I use anonymous e-mail?  (by Maxime Taksar)

[The original information from Maxime has been edited somewhat to fit the needs
of asar, as opposed to the needs of alt.personals, for which the information
was written.  -- Cloister Bell]

The anonymous e-mail service at layout.berkeley.edu is a "double blind" mail
service, such that no-one who ever uses it should ever know who anyone else is.
If someone sends you mail at your anonymous address, they will be assigned an
alias (if they don't have one already) and the mail header will be changed to
reflect that alias.  Therefore, the same thing happens to your replies to mail
from an anonymous mail address.

NOTE: Throughout this article, I provide e-mail addresses in Internet
form - someone@layout.Berkeley.EDU. If your mailer can't handle this type
of address, you can use uucp "bang-path" addresses:
...!uunet!layout.Berkeley.EDU!someone. You'll have to figure out how to get
e-mail to uunet on your own, but it's reachable from most places in the
Solar System. Ask your local e-mail guru.

NOTE: The first time you send something to the ACS, be it a posting
or a reply to a posting, you are assigned an alias of the form
ap.[1-9999]@layout.Berkeley.EDU. As long as your From: line contains the same
information when it gets here, anything you post or e-mail will appear
to come from this alias. If you send something that has a different line
in From:, you will be assigned a new alias. This includes mail sent from
the same person but happened to go through a different path to get to
layout.Berkeley.EDU. Both aliases will work. This may be a bug or a feature,
depending on your point of view.

You can give yourself a nickname by including a line like:

ACS-Name: My nickname

in the first message (ping, post or reply) you send to the ACS service.
This is intended to make it easier for people who read your messages
to remember who you are.  ACS-Name: must be at the beginning of the
line.  Anything after the ':' and one space will be your nickname.

PRIVACY AND SECURITY

I've done what I can to ensure that the identities of the users of
the Anonymous Contact Service will be kept private, but I can't make
any guarantees. I will not divulge the name of anyone using the service
without a court order, but there is always the possibility that someone
will successfully crack my system, or that someone will examine your
article before it gets here. Usenet is not totally private, and you
use this service at your own risk. 

One of the things that happens fairly frequently on the net is 
bounced e-mail. It could be unpleasant if this happened to a message
destined for the ACS. To make sure that you have a clean mail path,
you can send e-mail to "ap.ping@layout.Berkeley.EDU". This is a mail echo
system. When your message gets here (if it gets here), the system
will grab your return address and send you an e-mail message containing
your alias in the ACS system and the header of your message as it
arrived here. If you don't get a reply with a Subject: line of
"ACS ping reply", assume that either your message never got here,
or the reply went astray. In either case, you shouldn't try to use
the anonymous posting service. Try to find another e-mail path that
works first.

ADMINISTRIVIA

If you need to get in touch with a human being about problems with
the ACS system, send e-mail to "ap.admin@layout.Berkeley.EDU". In particular,
if you need to have your alias removed from the database or your
e-mail address has changed, you need to send e-mail to ap.admin.
Eventually, these capabilities will be automated, once I figure out
to do it securely.

If, for some reason, you want to cancel an article you've posted,
the only way to do it (unless you're a superuser) is to send e-mail
to ap.admin@layout.Berkeley.EDU and ask for it to be cancelled. This is
another item that may be automated someday.  In almost all cases
however, cancel requests cannot be honored.  Your article will probably
have gotten to hundreds of sites before I ever see your e-mail request.

There is no way for me to cancel e-mail you've sent to an alias, so
don't even bother asking.

To correspond with the ACS administrator, send EMAIL to:
ap.admin@layout.Berkeley.EDU		(non anonymous mail)
ap.0@layout.Berkeley.EDU		(anonymous mail with no replies)
uunet!layout.Berkeley.EDU!{ap.admin,ap.0}


1.4)   How did ASAR get started?
1.5)   Common Acronyms     (by Cloister Bell, contributions from Matt Fields)

As you read ASAR (and other groups as well), you will run across a variety of
different acronyms and symbols that are a bit difficult to figure out.
However, since they are often used to stand for states of mind or tones of
voice, not knowing what they mean can lead one to misinterpret someone's
posting.
APS:	   The Anonymous Posting Service described above.
ASAR:      This newsgroup.
BTW:       By the way.  A side remark or tangent.  These often lead to new
	   discussion threads.
DSM-III:   Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 3rd edition.  A document used in
	   the psychiatric/psychological field as a classification of mental
	   disorders.
e-hugs:	   Electronic hugs.  "I'd hug you if you were within arm's reach"
FAQ:	   Frequently Asked Questions.  This document is one.
IMO/IMHO:  In My (Humble) Opinion.  The poster wants to make sure you don't
	   think s/he's lecturing you.
MP/MPD:	   Multiple Personality (Disorder).
PERP:	   Perpetrator.  Whomever it was that abused you.  Avoids the need to
	   use more emotionally charged words to reference those people, like
	   "father," "sister," "priest," etc.
PTSD:	   Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  A disorder originally applied to
	   war veretans, now recognized as applying to abuse survivors as well.
SO/SSO:	   (Semi) Significant Other.  Someone romantically attatched to the
	   poster.  This term is a good way to refer to such a person in a
	   gender-neutral way, i.e. avoiding the terms "girlfriend" and
	   "boyfriend."
*A:	   All the "Anonymous" groups: Alcoholics Anonymous, Survivors of
	   Incest Anonymous, etc.  Generally these are self-help support
	   groups. 
:)	   A "smiley".  Turn your head to the left to get the effect.  There
	   are countless varieties of these, including :( (the frownie), :-),
	   :6 ("bleah" smiley with tongue out), etc.  These are often used to
	   indicate states of mind.  The :) smiley is very frequently used to
	   indicate sarcasm or other forms of humor.  Don't get offended by
	   something that has a :) after it.

2.   Who We Are     (by Cloister Bell)
2.1)   Who "belongs" here.

More or less anyone belongs here.  The group is ostensibly for survivors of
sexual abuse.  However, a great variety of other people find benefit from this
group as well, and we don't turn them away.  People like survivors of other
forms of abuse, SO's of survivors, a few doctors and therapists who add their
two cents, and by far the largest group, silent readers.  People who read but
do not post.  By my estimation, there are about 450 people who have posted to
ASAR.  The latest arbitron figures I heard said that around 18000 people
worldwide read this group.

2.2)   Posting Etiquette.
2.2.1)   Ground Rules  (by Bear Giles)

Everyone is welcome to read ASAR.  However, since ASAR functions as a
combination sexual-abuse survivor's support group and online rape crisis
center, we must ask you to observe a few rules unique to Usenet.  These rules
exist to form a safe environment for the active participants; failure to
observe these rules has been demonstrated to cause a negative impact on the
functioning of this group.

To draw an analogy to the rules of conduct in group therapy sessions:

Perps should not post abusively.  This is a group for survivors.  However, many
perps are themselves survivors, so this is a tricky issue.  If you are a perp,
you should exercise rather a great deal of caution as to how you post.  As
mentioned above, if you post abusively the members of ASAR will do something
about it.

Survivor's stories should not be questioned.  This reinforces "don't talk"
rules of perps, making the cost to survivors far outweigh the potential
benefits.  Many survivors find it extremely difficult to discuss their abuse.
Questioning the truth of what they say happened to them is a very cruel thing
to do.

Judgements of sexual behavior should not be made.  ASAR readers run the gamut
from heterosexual to homosexual and everything in between.  No matter what your
orientation is, you have as much right as anyone to participate in ASAR, and as
little right to criticize someone else's sexuality as you would give to them.

Religious aspects of healing should be dealt with carefully.  While religion
can be a powerful healing force, it was also a factor in many cases of sexual
abuse.  Treat religious opinions as you would sexual orientations: to each
their own.

Survivor's stories, or summaries thereof, should not be reposted elsewhere
without explicit permission of the author.  To do so would be a rather gross
violation of that person's trust in the newsgroup.  For a lot of survivors,
trust is hard to come by, so don't mess it up.

2.2.2)   Spoiler Warnings   (by John Light)

This newsgroup includes a wide range of individual experience, ranging from
people who are just realizing that they may have been abused to people who have
made significant steps toward recovery.  People traumatized by abuse often feel
unable to deal with graphic material related to abuse, yet some people want to
share graphic material that relates to their own abuse and recovery.

Our challenge is to meet the needs of the entire range of sensibilities.  This
must be done in a way that requires no additional administration and doesn't
impose censorship.

Following the lead of other newsgroups, readers of ASAR use "spoiler" warnings.
The use of the word is that if you aren't in a safe personal space when you
read the material, it may spoil your whole day.

Each submitter will decide for himself whether the material may cause distress
for some readers.

The string "<spoiler>" should be included in the Subject line.  If you don't
realize you want to post something graphic until you're typing it in, don't
sweat it.  Just put the "spoiler" string on a line by itself, set off in some
visually striking way so as to warn people.  for example:

			  ***** SPOILER WARNING *****

Even if you do have a spoiler warning in your subject line, it is still a good
idea to have one of these lines anyway.

The first lines of text in the message should identify the sender and the
nature of the material.

Just ahead of the graphic material, there should be a few blank lines and a ^L
(control-L) character, which will terminate the page in many news programs.

The graphic material will follow the ^L.  It should meet the same criteria as
other submissions to ASAR., i.e., it should not be abusive to its readers in
general or any individual, it should be be related to abuse recovery, etc.

If followups are innocuous or of general interest, the "<spoiler>" string
should be removed from the Subject line in followups.  This reduces the volume
of "<spoiler>" warnings so we don't become desensitized to them.

In practice, most people will read the spoiler material.  For them, it still
provides an opportunity to prepare emotionally for the material.

2.2.3)   What's Great, What's OK, What's Unacceptable  (by Cloister Bell)

It's great to share your stories on ASAR.  Writing them down can be very good
for the soul.  It's great to give encouragement to others for the courage and
strength they show.  In general, it's a good thing to present a positive and
constructive attitude on the group.  That's what helps people.

E-hugs are ok, so long as you don't try to force them on people.  A lot of
people are uncomfortable with such gestures of affection, so the appropriate
thing to do is to offer "e-hugs if you want them."  And be sensitive to other
people's desires.  If someone indicates that they would rather not be offered
e-hugs, don't.  
It's ok to disagree with people.  In fact, disagreement can lead to very good
and thought provoking discussions.  However, one should make some effort to be
tactful and considerate when disagreeing.  It does no good to make a good point
in a belligerent manner.  People are easily turned off by abrasive presentation
of an idea.

Criticizing people as opposed to their ideas is not helpful.  Flaming others is
not acceptable.  Generally, any behavior that is deemed abusive, hurtful or
counterproductive is unacceptable.  If you post something which is unacceptable
the odds are very good that someone will let you know, generally by posting in
return.  If what you posted was misunderstood, or you didn't know that you were
being hurtful, simply posting an apology or clarification will suffice.  ASAR
readers are amazingly forgiving.

2.2.4) "Meta" discussions.  (by Laurie Mann)

I would like to urge people to avoid meta-discussions in ASAR.

A meta-discussion is on which does not discuss the issue at hand (supporting
abuse survivors), and, instead, gets all wrapped up in political agendas and
personality bashing.  I've seen some groups go completely down the tubes over
this issue, and I don't want to see it happen here.

If someone's attitude bothers you, put them in your kill file.  If they seems
more than a little annoying, try writing them personal mail. (Warning- this
rarely works) If they are genuinely abusive, forward their mail to their
postmaster.  (Do the last only as a last resort)

This section, were it a post, is an example of a meta-discussion (or a
meta-meta-discussion)

The point being that it is counter-productive to fill the discussion on ASAR
with posts about how someone else is posting.  Such discussions are better off
conducted in e-mail, or avoided alltogether.

3.     Safety   (by Cloister Bell)
3.1)   Is posting to a public place safe?

By and large, yes.  If it weren't, ASAR wouldn't be thriving like it is.  It is
true that anyone with net access can potentially read this group.  And with the
sensitive nature of the topic material, it is understandible if you don't want
to post using your real name, or in any other traceable way.  That's what the
APS is for.  Most people feel that the benefits of participating in ASAR far
outweigh any risks.

3.2)   What do I do if I feel attacked in the group?

Don't stand by and let it happen!  Stick up for yourself, and marvel at the
number of people who stick up for you too.  I have not seen a case yet where
someone felt attacked and wasn't supported by others in the group.  Keep in
mind that all types read ASAR.  Not everyone who reads has the best of
intentions.  Everything you read should be taken with a grain of salt, since
the people responding to you don't actually *know* you.  They're reading your
posts, and extrapolating a lot more about your situation than they probably
should.  But that's human nature.  If you feel that someone is attacking you,
or has said something that doesn't apply to you, you are free to brush it off.
Every newsreader I've seen provides the ability to filter out posts that you
don't want to see.  If someone is constantly getting on your nerves, you can
have your newsreader filter out posts by that person.  Presto, no more problem.

3.3)   What does the group do when a person is abusive?

Generally, the response is pretty amazing.  We have had two glaring cases where
abusive personalities have intruded into our carfully constructed healing
place.  In both cases, we sent mail to those people asking that they stop their
abusive behavior.  In both cases, they didn't, so we then started sending mail
to their postmasters and local system administrators.  In one case, the local
postmaster didn't really care, but the person realized they weren't wanted and
weren't bothering us as much as he thought, so he got bored and left.  In the
other, the local system administrator had a talk with the person about net
etiquette and rights versus priveleges, and the person stopped.  Generally, we
do not put up with abuse from anywhere.  It's part of our healing.  If you want
to be abusive, go somewhere else because we won't let you abuse us.

4.    Frequently Discussed Issues

Having dealt with the administrative issues, on to the real stuff.  What
follows are the results of some good discussions we've had on some topics that
apply to a lot of ASAR readers.

4.1)   What can/can't ASAR do for me?   (by Matt Fields)

If you are a bit unclear as to the actual usefulness of ASAR, then you may
find interest in this list.  This is what people commonly see as the benefits
and shortcomings of ASAR.

ASAR can	* Let you know that sexual abuse is common.
		* Let you know you are not alone in your despair or recovery.
		* Give you a basis for evaluating your own (possible) abuse.
		* Support you when you are otherwise isolated.
		* Show others' struggles for recovery.
		* Provide resource lists for help and information.
		* Encourage you to seek help locally.
		* Provide guidelines for selecting help locally, including
		* Provide guidelines for selecting a therapist.
		* Provide support while you are recovering.
		* Provide a place to talk about abuse issues nobody else
		  wants to hear.
		* Encourage you to protect yourself from sources of abuse.
		* Provide feedback about what you are thinking or doing.
		* Allow you to share your sorrows and triumphs.
		* Make known to the general community (whoever bothers to
                  read this group, possibly including abusers) the positions
                  of a number of sexual abuse survivors.
		* Act as a form of self-therapy

ASAR can't	* Decide you were sexually abused.
		* Clear you of sexual abuse.
		* Protect you from your abusers.
		* Protect you from abusive net posters.
		* Take the place of a professional therapist

4.2)   Can I start another thread on these topics?

Generally, yes.  If you feel that a topic is relevant to your healing, then by
all means bring it up.  Odds are that there are others out there who agree with
you or have the same concerns and would like to talk about it.  Starting a
thread about the latest Mets' baseball scores would be a bit inappropriate, but
starting a thread about how the charges of rape against three major leage
baseball players make you feel would be quite appropriate.  If you're not sure,
go ahead and post.  If no one wants to discuss it, the thread won't take off.
It's sort of a self-resolving issue.

4.3)   How can I tell if I've been abused if I have no memories?
(by Kara J Keeter)

Not everyone remembers their abuse.  A lot of survivors of abuse first start
the healing process while still wondering whether or not they had really been
abused.  The important thing is to ease your pain and begin healing.  Begin
applying the principles of healing, and the memories will come when and if you
are ready for them.

If you are experiencing symptoms common to people who have been abused (see
list below), then it would probably be in your best interests to try some of
the methods that have been suggested for healing from abuse.  If you have a
suspicion that maybe you were abused but you aren't quite sure, then maybe it
would be helpful for you to work on healing techniques.  Better safe than
sorry.  Absolutely the most important thing is your own healing from the pain
you are feeling.  You may find something of use to you, even if you never
remember any specific abuse.

Often, people who have been abused as children were told that the abuse didn't
really happen, that the child was making it up or was crazy.  It is very common
for survivors of childhood abuse to have times when they doubt if the abuse
occurred.  Thoughts of "It didn't really happen, I must have been dreaming" or
"What if I'm making it all up" are normal, but if you think you were abused, it
is safer to assume you were abused.  Think of it this way: your subconscious
would not *choose* to inflict on you the pain you are going through.  It is
much more pleasant to be happy and healthy; if you can't be happy and healthy,
and you suspect childhood sexual abuse, then do the things that help promote
healing, even if you don't have specific memories yet.

If you are experiencing both suspicions of abuse and doubts of your suspicions,
trust your suspicions for the time being.  Intuition is frequently right about
this sort of thing.  If you have symptoms of abuse and still can't remember
being abused, just work on your healing.  Memories will come when you are ready
for them.

Another common reaction of survivors is to minimize their abuse; to say, "Well
something happened but nothing that really qualifies as serious abuse" or "What
happened to me isn't as bad as what some people experience, and it doesn't
affect me now anyway".  If what happened to you was significant enough for you
to be questioning and reading this, then it was significant enough for you to
work on healing.  If you were harmed in any way, it was significant, and you
deserve healing.  You are worth it.

In section VI of the FAQ is a list of some common "symptoms" of having been
abused.  Having one or more of these does not catigorically mean that you
*were* abused, but it is a strong indicator.  It does almost surely mean that
there is something in your past that should be worked on, even if it's not
sexual abuse.  If you wonder whether or not you've been abused, you should
probably have a look at this list.

4.4)   Sometimes I think I'm making it all up; am I crazy?
4.5)   How much of my childhood *should* i remember?
4.6)   Medication:  to take or not to take?

If your therapist has suggested taking medications to control your depression,
mood swings, etc, you very probably have questions as to whether or not you
should take it.  There are two rather vocal schools of thought on this issue.

One is that just because the medication is for a mental affliction is no reason
not to take it.  If your body was sick, and a doctor prescribed penicillin, for
example, you would probably take it.  It helps you get better.  How are mood
altering medications different?  If it helps you get better, why should you not
use it?

The other school of thought says that they would no way, no how take into their
body some sort of foreign substance that's going to alter the way they interact
with the world.  Sure they may make you *feel* better, but it's a drug induced
better.  That's somehow artificial, and less real than really healing.  These
people see mood altering drugs as a crutch, and they are determined to be
strong enough to not use the crutch.

There are good points in both of these positions.  On the one hand, this
recovery stuff is hard!  Why make it harder by not taking something that will
help?  On the other hand, drugs would seem to take some of the control out of
one's life.  For survivors for whom control is a serious issue, there is reason
not to take these medications.  

There is much more to this issue than is presented here.  Talk with your
therapist or doctor about the effects of these drugs, and do some serious
thinking as to why you would want to/not want to take them.  You should
probably also read the section below on common medications prescribed to
survivors (section 6.4).

4.7)   Cutting and self-mutilation:  Why do I do it and how can I stop?
     (by Cloister Bell)

What is cutting (am I a cutter)?
     Sadly, it is fairly common for survivors of sexual abuse (and other types
of power abuse) to indulge in self-destructive behaviors such as cutting.
Cutting is willful injury to one's self using something sharp.  Obviously, the
motivations for cutting can lead to other forms of self-mutilation (I used to
pull out eyelashes and locks of hair, for instance) besides actual
bloodletting.  The key point is that all of them hurt, and all of them cause
some sort of damage to one's body.  On ASAR, the phenomenon has become
known in general as "cutting" because more people seem to have specifically
cut themselves than hurt themselves in other ways.  This is not to invalidate
anyone else's experiences, it's just that "cutting" has become a convenient
label.

Why do I do it?
     There are several theories as to why people indulge in self-mutilation.
One is that it's a control issue.  When children are abused, they are in a
situation of no control.  Their abuser(s) can hurt them any time, and the
children are largely (if not completely) powerless to stop it.  When the child
grows older and is faced with stressful situations, there is often a strong
desire/expectation for some sort of pain, since pain is associated with stress
in that person's mind.  People who have had these associations forced on them
frequently cut themselves because this is a pain that satisfies the psycho-
logical desire for pain, and is *also* a pain that the victim can stop.  At
last the person is in control.  And while the cutting itself is harmful and
can cause shame and guilt later, I can tell you that the control feels good.

     Another theory is that people who were abused as children often have been
taught (by their abusers, or by others who have denied the child's experiences
as being valid) that they are bad people, who should by all rights be
punished.  Sometimes people like this turn to behaviors like sado-masochism,
or bondage-and-dominance in order to get the punishment that they want.
Others can't ask others to punish them, so they punish themselves with
cutting.

     A third theory is that cutting is a manifestation of a desire to become
physically unattractive.  This is often true of girls who are constantly
bombarded with messages (overt and subtle) that they are beautiful and
therefore desirable.  They naturally reason that if they make themselves
unattractive, no one will rape them because they will be undesirable.  This
chain of reasoning can also lead to compulsive eating behaviors that leave the
abuse victim overweight and thus outside of what this society calls
attractive. 

    Of course, every person is different, and there are many less common
theories as to why people are cutters.  If you are a cutter and don't fit any
of the above models, so what?  That doesn't mean your situation is
fundamentally different or less valid.  Also, it is common for more than one
of these thought patterns acting in concert to produce some very complicated
rationales for self-mutilation.  These desires can be quite strong, and often
a cutter will not know why s/he indulges in such behavior.  I didn't know why
I cut myself for a long time; all I knew was that it hurt but I really
couldn't stop myself.  I liked the pain, because it meant that I was strong.
Strong enough to overcome my own natural instinct to avoid pain, and strong
enough to endure the pain without crying out.  For me, there was something
about seeing real red blood coming out of lines in my skin that made me feel
very alive (a powerful thing during a time in my life when I felt/wished
otherwise that I was dead).

What are the results of cutting?
     Cutting is a mixed bag, but most people agree that in the balance it's a
bad thing.  Cutting can make you feel powerful.  It can make you feel in
control.  It hurts, and that can make you feel alive.  But it also can make
you feel guilty for "being some kind of a sicko," and feel shame for having
done it.  Those are the sort of things that take away from one's self-esteem.
And of course, a lack of self-esteem can lead people into bad relationships and
other non-healthy situations.  Mental concerns aside, cutting causes real
physical damage to your body.  There is also the possibility for infection
and/or tetanus (especially if unclean steel implements are used for the
cutting).  

How do I stop?
     If you are a cutter, you probably want to stop.  The following are some
of the arguments against cutting.  Reading them should give you some good
clues as to how to stop.  At the end of this section is my story of cutting
and how I stopped.

     Cutting is damage.  By cutting you injure your body.  This is not a good
thing.  Your body is important.  It's the only one you've got and it should be
taken care of.  It would be harder to live a fully happy life with a damaged
body, especially if part of that damage you did yourself.

     Cutting is abuse.  As a sexual abuse survivor, you've already been
subjected to more abuse than anyone should be.  Your abusers hurt you, why
should you heap more abuse on yourself?  You don't deserve that kind of crap.

     By cutting yourself, you're buying into an unhealthy behavior pattern
that was taught to you when you were a child.  What happened to you then was
wrong, and perpetuating that behavior pattern now isn't healthy for you either.
There may be some security in familiarity, but most people agree that it's not
worth the heartache.

     Cutting often stems from a desire for control.  Take real control of your
life and yourself and stop.

     I was a cutter.  Here is what made me stop.  First, I *wanted* to stop.
That's important, because I believe that you can't change your own behavior
unless you want to.  I knew that it wasn't healthy.  I would get stressed out,
cut myself, feel better, and then feel shameful and guilty.  Finally, a good
friend of mine talked some sense into me and made me realize that I was just
giving myself more abuse.  Until then, I hadn't realized that's what I was
doing.  I decided that I would just not let myself do it any more.  I simply
and stubbornly refused.  I've always had problems with self control, and
breaking promises to myself, so this was a good test for me, one which I'm
proud to say I passed.  One thing that helped me not relapse into cutting was
finding alternate methods of releasing stress.  Running up and down the stairs
in my dorm worked pretty well for me.  There were times after I decided to
stop when I wanted to cut myself, and had I not had established alternate
things to do to relieve stress, I probably would have given in.  Don't get the
idea that merely deciding not to cut myself anymore was all it took to remove
the impulses and desire to do so; far from it.  It took a few months of doing
other things when faced with that impulse to change my behavior pattern.  

     That's my story.  I hope it and the other information helps you or
someone you know to become a healthier and happier person.  

4.8)   What I have to say isn't worth talking about.  Why should I post?
4.9)   Should I forgive my abuser(s)?

*******************************************************************************
5. Resources (
5.1)   How do I report a known or suspected abuser?
5.2)   General support
5.3)   Specific support
5.4)   E-groups
5.5)   SIGs   (by Black Pearl)

SIGs: What they are
 The VOICES In Action Special Interest Groups (SIGs) are essentially letter
writing support groups that enable members who share similar experiences,
backgrounds, after effects or other unique interests or commonalities to be
able to correspond confidentially.

How a SIG Works
Each group is lead by a coordinator whose responsibility it is to ensure
confidentiality and the smooth flow of correspondence.  When you join a SIG you
are committing to writing monthly (bimonthly for some groups).  Members send
their letters to the coordinator who gathers all the letters by a certain day
each month, copies them, and then sends each person in the group a packet
containing the other members' letters.  Groups "meet" in two ways: by letter
and at the annual conference when time is set aside for SIG members to meet in
person.

Each group consists of a coordinator and the members of the group, who share a
common interest or bond.  The SIG Coordinator may structure the group as s/he
sees fit within the guidelines set down by the SIG Committee.

SIG Committee 
The SIG Committee is comprised of five VOICES in Action members, one of whom is
the SIG Committee Chairperson, the Vice-President (who processes SIG requests),
and any interested person.  Experience as a coordinator or a SIG member is
helpful.  The Committee sets policies in accordance with Board policies, and
reviews special cases or complaints.  If a SIG member violates the confidence
of the group, the Board may choose to expel that person from the organization.
The SIG Committee operates a column in the VOICES newsletter to announce new
SIGs and share other information.  The committee is open to any suggestions,
comments, or feedback.

Joining a SIG
Following is a list of available SIGs.  (Not all SIGs are presently active due
to lack of coordinators.)  Please let us know the ones you wish to join.
Because of the commitment involved in belonging to a group, it is recommended
to join no more than three groups at first.  You can join more groups later or
resign from groups as the need arises.  Return your SIG request form to the
VOICES office and we will forward your request.

Membership in a SIG is SOLELY limited to VOICES In Action members.  There is no
charge for joining a SIG.  There are financial commitments within each SIG for
postage and copying charges.  These costs are determined by each group.  It is
not the responsibility of the SIG coordinator to finance group mailings.

Once the office receives your request for SIG membership, we will (1) notify
the coordinator that there are new members and (2) send a confirmation to you
of your enrollment in the group(s).  If a group lacks a coordinator, you will
be informed of this.  As groups become active, you will be notified that a
coordinator has been found and the coordinator has been notified of your
enrollment.

Please allow 2-4 weeks to process your application.  

ALL YOUR CORRESPONDENCE WILL BE HELD IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENCE.

SIG Operation
When the coordinator receives new SIG members' names, they send an introductory
letter and a SIG membership agreement form.  The letter of welcome/introduction
from your SIG coordinator will introduce the coordinator and will tell you the
process the group uses, i.e. how often they write, the format used, etc.  Some
groups communicate every two months, but most groups communicate monthly.  The
coordinator will talk about her/himself, and a little about the group in
general.  This is given in hopes that the new member will respect
confidentiality and the spirit in which it is sent, since at that point a
membership agreement form has not yet been signed.

You will fill out and sign the membership agreement form, which says you agree
to the issues of confidentiality.  This membership agreement is designed to
protect an individual's confidentiality.  You send the membership agreement
form and a letter of introduction about yourself to the coordinator of your
specific SIG.  Your letter of introduction can include anything that you are
comfortable sharing.  If you just feel safe sharing general information, then
that is all you need to send.  Based on what your coordinator shares in their
introduction, you will get a feel for what you may be comfortable sharing back.
Your letter of introduction will be your first correspondence to your SIG
group.

SIG Correspondence
How correspondence happens-- the coordinator includes your letter in the next
packet of mail to the SIG group members.  While the coordinator is receiving
your letter, the coordinator is also receiving letters from the other group
members.  The coordinator copies each group member's letter and puts a copy of
each one in a packet to each member and includes a letter of their own.  Each
new member will receive, in addition to the regular mailings, the introductory
letters of the active members.

This way each member in the group receives a copy of all other members'
letters.  The coordinator then mails this packet to all group members.
Deadlines: The coordinator sets a deadline for responses from group members.

In writing your letters to the SIG, sometimes you can write a general statement
to the entire SIG group and that is what you will send.  Other times, you may
have specific things to say to each member, based on the previous packet and
you may write a few lines or a paragraph to each one.  The groups have their
style and you have your style.  You are never under any pressure to share more
than you feel comfortable with.

General Information
Is there a requirement to write each month?  Well, yes.  The Special Interest
Groups work only when the group members are committed to corresponding
regularly with the group.  If you sign up for a group, you are committing to
write as often as the group is set up to.  You will be receiving packets of
mail with letters from the other members, and they too want to hear from you.
Also, because of the vulnerability of the issues shared in the mail packets,
members feel most comfortable sending them to active group members.  Under
special circumstances you do have the option of dropping a postcard or letter
to the coordinator to say you won't be able to write for a month or so if you
just get too busy or preoccupied, but are committed to the group and do plan on
being an active group participant as soon as possible.  The coordinators are
put in a double-bind if suddenly they don't hear from you.  They don't know if
you have fallen off the edge of the earth, or if you are angry and not writing,
or want to quit the group, or what your issues are.  You can also write to the
coordinator and request a leave of absence or to withdraw from the group if the
need arises.

Group Size and Co-coordinators:  
We try to limit the size of the group to 6-8 members to keep the correspondence
more personal and less overwhelming.  This isn't always possible.  At this
point, we try to find another coordinator.  So, with popular SIGs, there may be
more than one SIG on that topic operating in order to accommodate that need.
If you are willing to coordinate or co-coordinate any SIG that you join, you
can indicate that in your request.

Requesting New SIGs.  
If you would like to start a new group, please write to the SIG Chairperson c/o
the Chicago office and we will create a group just for you.  The request for a
new SIG will be announced in the VOICES newsletter.  If you would be willing to
coordinate this new SIG, that would be great because the group would be active
and operating that much sooner.

Where to write for more information:
SIG Chairperson, VOICES In Action, Inc., P.O. Box 148309, Chicago, IL  60614

Here's a fairly recent list of the VOICES in Action Significant Interest Groups
(SIGs) and how they work.  The only requirement is that you be a member of
VOICES ($40 if you can afford it; $25 for sliding scale).

 1.  Survivors who experience "Disassociated Childlike States".
 2.  Survivors whose abuse involved animals.
 3.  Survivors whose abuse involved ritualistic abuse.
 4.  Survivors who were abused by a family member other than a parent.
 5.  Survivors who are/were involved in self-abuse.
 6.  Survivors who were impregnated by their perpetrator.
 7.  Survivors who had several perpetrators.
 8.  Survivors who are/were members of a religious community (Ex. Buddhists)
	or left a religion.
 9.  Survivors who were abused by their father.
10.  Survivors who are single and surviving.
11.  Survivors who have addictive personalities or are involved in a
	12-step program.
12.  Survivors who were abused by authority figures (religious leaders,
	teachers, therapists).
13.  Researchers studying the effects of incest on the survivor.
14.  Survivors who are victims of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
15.  Survivors for whom incest is/was the only form of victimization.
16.  Survivors who recently confronted their families.
17.  Survivors who are college students.
18.  Survivors who are parents of survivors.
19.  Survivors who were in mental institutions as young children or 
	adolescents.
20.  Survivors who are working for legislative changes.
21.  Survivors who are lesbians. 
22.  Survivors who are counsellors or therapists.
23.  Survivors whose abuse involved pornography.
24.  Survivors who carry physiological ailments due to the abuse.
25.  Survivors whose perpetrators were sadistic.
26.  Survivors who are male.
27.  Survivors who are/were anorexic and/or bulimic.
28.  Survivors who have developed a Multiple Personality Disorder (M.P.D.)
29.  Survivors who are recovering from amnesia.
30.  Survivors who are/were depressed and/or suicidal.
31.  Survivors who were abused by their mothers.
32.  Survivors who were abused by both parents.
33.  Survivors who were abused with emotional incest.
34.  Survivors whose spouse/partner is having a hard time dealing with 
	the incest.
35.  Survivors who are artistic/creative.
36.  Survivors who were raped as adults.
37.  Survivors who want to have children but are afraid to.
38.  Survivors who are parents.
39.  Survivors who are adult children of alcoholics.
40.  Survivors who experience problems fulfilling their sexuality due to 
	the abuse.
41.  Survivors who are going through a sexual identity crisis.
42.  Survivors who are having difficulty communicating with their mother.
43.  Survivors whose perpetrator was other than a family member.
44.  Survivors who were abused by a step-parent.
45.  Survivors who are Jewish.
46.  Survivors who were abused by a sibling(s).
47.  Partners/spouses of survivors.
48.  Husband/partner of a survivor.
49.  Survivors who are Christians.
50.  Survivors who are teenagers and young adults.
51.  Survivors who are women of color.
52.  Survivors who are/were abused by psychotherapists.
53.  Survivors who experienced pre-verbal abuse.
54.  SIG for (SIG) Coordinators.
55.  Survivors who formerly were severely obese.
56.  Survivors who are dealing with chronic illness or physical disability.
57.  Survivors who are adoptees.
58.  Survivors who are gay men.
59.  Male survivors who were abused by their mothers.
60.  Survivors who are bisexual.
61.  Survivors who are compulsive overeaters.
62.  Survivors who playacted out their abuse as children and adults.
63.  Survivors who have decided to no longer have contact with their families.
64.  Survivors who are recently married.
65.  Survivors who lead self-help groups for survivors.
66.  Survivors who treat offenders.
67.  Survivors who experience Several Kids Inside Syndrome (SKIS).
68.  Survivors who are/were involved in prostitution because of the abuse.
69.  Survivors who are/were members of the clergy.
70.  Survivors who have food phobias because of the abuse.
71.  SIG for Significant others (partners, spouses, siblings, etc) of 
	survivors with MPD.
72.  Survivors who have difficulty sharing/expressing emotions (ex. crying).
73.  Survivors who want to/are breaking free from abusive 
	(sexual/physical/emotional) relationships.
74.  Survivors who are interested in/involved in Goddess and Women's 
	Spirituality.
75.  Survivors who have isolated themselves and are dealing with the 
	isolation and it's consequences.
76.  Male survivors who where abused by someone other than a family member.
77.  Survivors who are attorneys/lawyers.
78.  Male survivors whose perpetrators were female.
79.  Survivors who have experienced current or past mental illness 
	(schizophrenia, manic-depression, borderline, etc.)
80.  Non-offending (pro-survivor) parents of survivors.
81.  Survivors who have MPD with alters that have a different sexual 
	orientation.
82.  Survivors who have a severe dissociative disorder but do not have 
	MPD and are not fragmented.
83.  Survivors who are providing support to sibling survivors.

5.6)   Books and Articles   (by Peter Fay, Matt Fields, Black Pearl)

Bass, Ellen and Laura Davis:
 _The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse_. 
 [When Mike Lew asked Ellen Bass about a Courage to Heal for men she said 
 that Courage to Heal was for men, all you need do is switch the
 pronouns as you read. (or something like that...)]

 _The Courage to Heal Work Book_ for men and women

 _Allies in Healing_ a courage to heal book for the SO's or support people of
 survivors.

Mike Lew: 
 _Victims No Longer_ a survivors book aimed at male survivors

I would recomend this book because it has little or no ax to grind, is non-
judgmental, is writen by survivors and has lots of survivor stuff in it and,
most important for me, shows me what surviving is. I finaly admitted my abuse
after reading it and got into therapy, untill then I was "Perfect". I 
recommend this book to anyone who even thinks that they, or some one they 
know may have been abused.  (IMHO-- PANDA)

	The courage to heal workbook 
		:  for women and men survivors
		.................  Laura Davis
	Allies in healing :  
		when the person you 
		love was sexually
		abused	.........  Laura Davis

	The sexual healing journey : 
		a guide for survivors 
		of sexual abuse .. Wendy Maltz

Also, John Bradshaw's books are pretty good for healing shame, and realizing
that the abuse wasn't my fault.  Healing the Shame that Binds You, Bradshaw
on: The Family, and Homecoming: reclaiming and championing your inner child
are the books of his that I know.

Finally, for working on boundaries, Pia Mellody's books Facing Codependence and
Breaking Free: a Workbook for Facing Codependence are pretty good.

"Adults Molested As Children: A Survivor's Manual For Women and 
Men," Safer Society Press, 1988.

"Co-Dependent No More," Melody Beatty; Hazelden, 1987.

"Daddy's Girl," Charlotte Vale Allen; Berkley, 1980.

"Father's Days," Katherine Brady; Dell, 1981.

"I Never Told Anyone: A collection of Writings by Women Survivors 
of Child Sexual Abuse," Harper&Row, 1983.

"It Will Never Happen to Me: Children of Alcoholics," Claudia Black;
MAC Publishing, 1981.

"Reclaiming Our Lives: Hope for Adult Survivors of Incest," Carol 
Poston and Karen Lison; Little Brown, 1989.

"Conspiracy of Silence: The Trauma of Incest," Sandra Butler;
Volcano Press, 1978; updated 1985.

"Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivors in Therapy," Christine A. 
Courtois; WW. Norton & Co., 1988.

"By Silence Betrayed: Sexual Abuse of Children in America," John 
Crewdson; Little Brown, 1988.

"Secret Scars: A Guide for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse," Cynthia 
Crosson-Tower; Viking, 1988.

"Why Me?" Lynn Daugherty; Mother Courage Press, 1984.

"Child Sexual Abuse," David Finkelhor; The Free Press, 1984.

"Betrayal of Innocence: Incest and Its Devastation," Susan Forward & 
Craig Buck; Penguin Books, 1979.

"My Father's House: A Memoir of Incest and of Healing," Sylvia 
Fraser; Ticknor & Fields, 198.

"Outgrowing the Pain," Eliana Gil; Launch Press, 1984.

"Child Sexual Abuse: A Hope for Healing," Maxine Hancock & Karen 
Burton Mains; Harold Shaw Publishers, 1987.

"Father-Daughter Incest," Judith Lewis Herman; Harvard University 
Press, 1982.

"Shame, The Power of Caring," Gershen Kaufman; Schenkman Books, 
1980.

"Child Abuse," Ruth S. Kempe & C. Henry Kempe; Harvard 
University Press, 1978.

"The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patters of 
Intimate Relationships," Harriet Goldhor Lerner; Harper & Row, 1986.

"If I Should Die Before I Wake," Michele Morris; Dell, 1982.

"Women Who Love Too Much," Robin Norwood; Jeremy Tarcher, 1985.

"The Road Less Travelled," M. Scott Peck; Simon & Schuster, 1978.

"Incest: A Family Pattern," Jean Renvoize; Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1982.

"The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual 
Abuse," Beverly Engel.

EATING DISORDERS AND SEXUAL ABUSE

Sexual abuse, disordered personality and eating disorders.
McClelland, L., Mynors-Wallis, L.,  Fahy, T.
The British journal of psychiatry.  MAY 01 1991 v 158 sup10, page 63

Relation of Sexual Abuse and Bulimia in College Women.
Beckman, K.A., Burns, G.L.
The international journal of eating disorders.  SEP 01 1990 v 9 n 5, page 487

Health risk behavioirs and attempted suicide in adolescents who report prior
       maltreatment. 
Riggs, S., Aario, A.J., McHorney, C.
The journal of pediatrics.  MAY 01 1990 v 116 n 5, page 815

Childhood sexual experiences with adults by women with eating disorders
Palmer, R.L., Oppenheimer, R., Dignon, A.
The British journal of psychiatry.  MAY 01 1990 v 156, page 699

Are Child Sexual Experiences Related to Eating-disordered Attitudes and
    Behaviors in a College Sample? 
Smolak, L., Levine, M.P., Sullins, E.
The International Journal of Eating Disorders.  MAR 01 1990 v 9 n 2, page 167

Sexual Experience and Eating Problems in Female Undergraduates.
Calam, R.M., Slade, P.D.                   
The International journal of eating disorders.  JUL 01 1989 v 8 n 4, page 391

Group treatment of sexual abuse among women with eating disorders.
Kearney-Cooke, Ann
Women & therapy.  1988 v 7 n 1, page 5

Sexual problems are linked to eating disorders in men
American Family Physician, 31:120, Apr. 1985,

Sexual conflict and eating disorders in 27 males
Herzog, David B, D. Norman, C. Gordon, 
American Journal of Psychiatry, 141:989-90, Aug. 1984

SLEEP AND STRESS DISORDERS

Robert L. Williams, Ismet Karacan, Constance A. Moore.
Sleep disorders: diagnosis and treatment

Hartmann, Ernest.
The nightmare: the psychology and biology of terrifying dreams

Mendelson, Wallace B.
Human sleep: research and clinical care

Control-related Beliefs and Sleep Characteristics of Posttraumatic Stress
        Disorder Patients.
Mikulincer, M., Glaubman, H., Wasserman, O.
Psychological reports.  OCT 01 1989 v 65 n 2, page 567

Hypnotic Treatment of Sleep Terror Disorder.
Koe, G. Gerald
American journal of clinical hypnosis.  JUL 01 1989 v 32 n 1, page 36

Sleep studies and neurochemical correlates in panic disorder and agoraphobia.
Pecknold, J.C., Luthe, L.
Progress in Neuro-Psychopharmacology & Biologica. 1990 v 14 n 5, page 753

Electroencephalographic Sleep in Panic Disorder.
Mellman, Thomas A., Unde, Thomas W.
Archives of general psychiatry.  FEB 01 1989 v 46 n 2, page 178
-----
From:	IN%"walner@tramp.Colorado.EDU"  "Shimon Walner"  8-MAR-1992 09:50
Subj:	faq.resources

The Cutting Edge
A newsletter for women living with self-inflicted violence.
POB 20819
Cleveland, OH 44120

An organization specializing in issues of male survivors:

The Waking Bear Institute
1516 Covington Drive
Ann Arbor, MI 48103
----
All addresses and phone numbers are U.S. except where indicated:

A magazine mailed throughout the world, for women survivors of
childhood sexual abuse.
Above A Whisper/P.O.Box 2588/Ann Arbor, MI 48108

The following items are quoted with permission from the
resource pages of Above A Whisper (r).
-----AAW-----
The area codes for numbers listed below is (313) unless otherwise indicated.

Ann Arbor Center for the Family 995-5181
Center For Independent Living (mostly wheelchair life) 971-0277
Legal Aid Services Southeast Michigan 763-9920
Parenting Classes 971-3993
Soundings 663-6689 (I don't know anything about them)
Univ. of Mich. Center for the Child and Family 764-9466
Washtenaw Area Council for Children 761-7071

GROUPS

Survivors Monthly 485-2379
Survivors of Incest Anonymous 971-9685
   Michigan SIA 675-0156
   Ann Arbor SIA, Contact Linda @ 242-1540 7-9pm "new format that allows
   unrestricted discussion, including ritual abuse"
Touchstone (a set of support groups) 483-7942
The Center for Mental Health and Chemical Dependency: A Survivor's
   Program 572-5873 or 572-5678

CRISIS INTERVENTION
24-hour lines

Assault Crisis Center 483-7273
Domestic Violence Project 995-5444
National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453
Sexual Abuse Recovery Assistance (SARA) 227-7100
National Runaway Switchboard 1-800-462-6642
Nurse Line 971-3993
Parent Helpline 1-800-942-4357
Protective Services, Dept. of Social Services 994-1882
S.O.S. Community Crisis Center 485-3222
Safe House 995-5444
Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center (SAPAC) 763-5865
Suicide Prevention Emergency Service 966-4747
Washenaw County Mental Health 996-4747
Ask A Nurse 572-5555  (Outside Ann Arbor, MI 1-800-472-9696)

OTHER

Catholic Social Services 662-4534
A-Step Self Defense 663-0873
Parent Aide Program 668-8300
Michigan Self-Help Clearing House 1-800-752-5858
National Self-Help Clearing House 1-212-542-2944

MORE ADDRESSES***

The Cutting Edge/P.O.Box 20819/Cleveland, OH 44120
   A newsletter for women living with self-inflicted violence.
   
Many Voices/P.O.Box 2639/Cincinnati, OH 45201-2639
   A bi-monthly self-help publication for people with multiple personality
   and dissociative disorders.

Kids USA/P.O.Box 25/Walled Lake, MI 48390
Ph. 1-800-KIDS-025
   Group addresses child sexual abuse by monitoring courts, judges,
   politicians, ...and offering community education.

Sexual Assault Services Resource Directory and Guide, Third Edition
Free to ORGANIZATIONS (I don't know how an individual gets one, if at all)
Includes a bibliography, a section on the rights of survivors, and a list of
service providers throughout the state (presumably Michigan).
Send name of organization, address, and telephone number to: Sexual
Assault Information Network of Michigan, P.O.Box 20122, Lansing, MI 48901

Research Study on female survivors of incest, focusing on their
relationships with other women, e.g. friends and mothers...
Amy Newman, M.A., (313)459-5815

6.    Things You Might Want to Know
6.1)   List of famous survivors  (by Hineni, cloister, and others)

1. Beethoven - the Appassionata sounds like it's dedicated to his father.
               Such a violent, pleading piece of music.

2. Franz Kafka - he nailed his perp in "The Trial;" there is a courtroom in
                 every attic, and we have to climb on the bed to get there,
		 because that's the *only* way out of the attic.  In the end,
		 we die of shame. 

3. Oprah Winfrey - Talk show host.  Came forward with her brother's (and
				    father's?) abuse of her on her network
				    television show. 

4. Marylin VanDerber Atler - Miss America 1958

5. Sybil - Famous multiple personality case.

6. Roseanne Barr Arnold - Comedienne, star of the TV show _Roseanne_

7. Tom Arnold (Roseanne's husband) - Both Tom and Roseanne have talked about
				     their abuse on national television.  Tom
				     has also discussed confronting his perp.

8. LaToya Jackson (and allegedly the whole Jackson crew)

9. Nathaniel Hawthorne - American author, 1804-1864, famed for writing "The
			 Scarlet Letter," a novel about adultery (the real
			 scarlet letter was "I" for incest), and "The
			 Minister's Black Veil," a novel about a minister's
			 sexual indiscretions with a lady.

10. Elizabeth Barrett Browning - English poet, 1806-1861.  Author of "How do I
				 love thee, Let me count the ways..."

11. Alexander Pushkin

12. Henry Miller    

13. Virginia Woolf - Playwright and author.

14. Erin Moran - Actress.  Played Joni from the sit-com "Happy Days."  Now it
		 turns out that they weren't so happy after all.

Please add to this list if you can, and/or supply more info on the people
already listed here.

6.2)   If it helps -- a pep talk  (by Simon Travaglia)

Don't judge your progress, especially compared to somebody else.  (i.e.  "XXX
has been through this, and they're alright now, and I'm not yet; what's wrong
with me?")  Different people have different recovery times, personal strengths
and motivations.  You are unique, so you can expect that your recovery time (or
method) may not be the same as someone else's.  (Isn't it funny how we
sometimes compare ourselves to the optimum and highlight what we consider to be
our shortcomings? - Weird!)  Any progress is progress.  Simply joining this
group is progress.  Reading messages is progress.  Posting a message is
progress, etc.  Congratulations on your progress.

Don't do anything that you feel too uncomfortable with.  If someone posts a
message saying "You should immediately do ..."  and it goes against your grain,
DON'T do it.  (Similarly, you may choose to ignore this.)  There is a certain
amount of discomfort involved in progress anyway, but you are in the best
position to judge what you can and can't take.  You may feel that a certain
course of action is too big a step.  That's fine, take it in smaller steps, as
you feel up to it.

Anyone who attempts a recovery deserves respect and support for what they are
attempting.  You have my personal best wishes.

If you feel you should give support to someone, but "can't think of the right
words" - just email them a message (or post if theey are an anonymous poster)
saying "You have my support," "My thoughts are with you," or "I wish you well,"
etc.  Sure, it's not THE ANSWER to their problems, but it is an affirmation
that they are not alone in their troubles and that you do care.

Sometimes we all fall.  Sometimes it's just a slip, sometimes it's face first
into the pavement.  It's always important to get up, even if you hurt, BECAUSE
you hurt.  BUT, you can take your time in getting up, just keep fighting.

Lastly,	Take it easy.  That's so easy to say, but with it comes it's meaning.
Take it easy on yourself, congratulate yourself, don't try and force yourself
into something you're not ready for, accept yourself as being here and now and
wanting full recovery.

6.3)   Statistics on the prevalence of abuse

6.4)   Medications (common ones, listed with side effects, etc.)
     (by Lydia Uribe)

The following is a listing of medications sometimes prescribed for
survivors.  The listing is by no means complete.  Many of these
medications have uses in addition to those listed, and I have included
only the most common and/or most important side effects.

This posting is intended for general informational purposes only.
Proper selection of medication must be done by the physician and the
patient, taking into account the needs of each individual patient.  If
you have specific questions about your medication, consult your
physician or pharmacist.

If you are taking a medication which is not on this listing and you
would like to see it added, email me at uribe@jarthur.claremont.edu with
the name of the medication and what you are taking it for, and I'll try
to include it in future versions.

(Reference:  _Facts and Comparisons_, J.B. Lippincott Co., St. Louis,
Missouri)


ANTI-ANXIETY AGENTS:

Class:  benzodiazepines
Usage:  management of anxiety disorders; short-term relief of anxiety
        symptoms
Side effects:  drowsiness (usually transient); dizziness; blurred
        vision
Precautions:  avoid alcohol and other depressants; patients on long-term
        or high-dose therapy may experience withdrawal symptoms with
        abrupt stoppage of medication - do not stop medication or change
        dosage without consulting physician; notify physician if you are
        pregnant, planning to become pregnant or are breast-feeding

        Generic Name:  oxazepam
        Brand Name:  Serax
        Additional Usage:  relief of anxiety associated with depression

        Generic Name:  prazepam
        Brand Name:  Centrax

        Generic Name:  lorazepam
        Brand Name:  Ativan
        Additional Usage:  relief of anxiety associated with depression;
                chronic insomnia

        Generic Name:  alprazolam
        Brand Name:  Xanax
        Additional Usage:  relief of anxiety associated with depression;
                agoraphobia; panic attacks

        Generic Name:  chlordiazepoxide
        Brand Name:  Librium; Libritabs
        Additional Usage:  management of acute alcohol withdrawal
        Additional Precautions:  do not take with antacids

        Generic Name:  diazepam
        Brand Name:  Valium; Valrelease
        Additional Usage:  panic attacks; symptomatic relief of acute
                alcohol withdrawal
        Additional Precautions:  do not take with antacids

        Generic Name:  halazepam
        Brand Name:  Paxipam

        Generic Name:  chlorazepate
        Brand Name:  Tranxene; Tranxene SD
        Additional Usage:  symptomatic relief of acute alcohol
                withdrawal


Class:  miscellaneous agents
Usage:  short-term relief of anxiety symptoms

        Generic Name:  buspirone
        Brand Name:  Buspar
        Additional usage:  management of anxiety disorders
        Side effects:  dizziness; nausea; headache; nervousness;
                lightheadedness; excitement; may occasionally cause
                drowsiness
        Precautions:  avoid alcohol; notify physician if you are
                pregnant, plan to become pregnant or are breast-feeding
        Other:  some improvement of symptoms seen in 7 to 10 days;
                optimal results usually seen after 3 to 4 weeks

        Generic Name:  hydroxyzine
        Brand Name:  Atarax; Vistaril
        Side effects:  dry mouth; drowsiness (usually transient)
        Precautions:  avoid alcohol; do not use if pregnant or
                breast-feeding

        Generic Name:  meprobamate
        Brand Name:  Miltown, Equanil
        Additional Usage:  short-term sleeping aid
        Side effects:  drowsiness, dizziness; blurred vision
        Precautions:  avoid alcohol and other depressants; possibly
                physically/psychologically addictive with long-term use


ANTIDEPRESSANTS:

Class:  tricyclic antidepressants
Usage:  management of depression
Side effects:  drowsiness, dizziness, dry mouth, blurred vision (all
        decrease with continued usage)
Precautions:  avoid alcohol; notify physician if you are pregnant,
        planning to become pregnant or are breast-feeding; stop taking
        medication and get *emergency* medical help if any of the
        following occur:  seizures, difficult or rapid breathing, fever
        with increased sweating, high or low blood pressure, loss of
        bladder control, severe muscle stiffness, unusual tiredness or
        weakness
Other:  before using medication, notify physician of any other medical
        conditions you may have, any other medications you are taking
        and if you have had any allergic or unusual reaction to any
        tricyclic antidepressant

        Generic Name:  amitriptyline
        Brand Name:  Elavil; Endep
        Additional Usage:  eating disorders (bulimia)
        Other:  may see sedative effect before antidepressant effect is
                noted; full effectiveness may take up to 30 days to
                occur

        Generic Name:  nortriptyline
        Brand Name:  Aventyl; Pamelor
        Additional Usage:  panic disorder; premenstrual depression
        Other:  not recommended for use in children

        Generic Name:  imipramine
        Brand Name:  Janimine; Tofranil; Tofranil-PM
        Additional Usage:  panic disorder; eating disorders (bulimia);
                bedwetting in children over 6

        Generic Name:  doxepin
        Brand Name:  Adapin; Sinequan
        Additional Usage:  anxiety
        Other:  relief of anxiety occurs rapidly; optimal antidepressant
                activity may take 2 to 3 weeks to occur

        Generic Name:  trimipramine
        Brand Name:  Surmontil

        Generic Name:  amoxapine
        Brand Name:  Asendin
        Other:  not recommended for patients under 16

        Generic Name:  desipramine
        Brand Name:  Norpramin; Pertofrane
        Additional Usage:  panic disorder; eating disorders (bulimia)

        Generic Name:  protriptyline
        Brand Name:  Vivactil

        Generic Name:  clomipramine
        Brand Name:  Anafranil
        Usage:  used only for treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder
                (not depression)
        Additional side effect:  high incidence of sexual dysfuntion in
                males

        Generic Name:  maprotiline
        Brand Name:  Ludiomil
        Additional Usage:  management of anxiety associated with
                depression
        Other:  not recommended in patients under 18


Class:  other antidepressants

        Generic Name:  trazodone
        Brand Name:  Desyrel
        Usage:  management of depression; panic disorder; agoraphobia
                with panic attacks
        Side effects:  drowsiness; dizziness; blurred vision; dry mouth;
                nausea; vomiting; irregular heartbeat; shortness of
                breath
        Precautions:  avoid alcohol and other depressants; take with
                food; notify physician if dizziness, lightheadedness,
                fainting or blood in the urine occurs; male patients
                should stop medication and notify physician if
                prolonged, inappropriate and/or painful erections occur

        Generic Name:  fluoxetine
        Brand Name:  Prozac
        Usage:  management of depression; may be used in bulimia and
                obsessive-compulsive disorders
        Side effects:  headache; nervousness; insomnia; drowsiness;
                anxiety; tremor; dizziness; fatigue; nausea; diarrhea;
                dry mouth; loss of appetite
        Precautions:  avoid alcohol and other depressants; notify
                physician if you are pregnant, planning to become
                pregnant or are breast-feeding; notify physician if rash
                or hives occur
        Other:  improvement may take several days to a few weeks to
                occur

        Generic Name:  bupropion
        Brand Name:  Wellbutrin
        Usage:  management of depression
        Side effects:  agitation; dry mouth; insomnia; headache; nausea;
                vomiting; constipation; tremor; seizures
        Precautions:  avoid alcohol; take medication in 3 or 4
                equally-divided doses daily to minimize risk of
                seizures; use caution when driving or operating
                hazardous machinery until you are certain that the drug
                does not impair your ability to do so


Class:  monoamine oxidase (MAO) inhibitors
Usage:  management of depression that is unresponsive to other
        medications; bulimia; panic disorder with agoraphobia
Side effects:  drowsiness; blurred vision; dizziness, weakness or
        fainting when standing up from a sitting or horizontal position;
        nausea; diarrhea; constipation; abdominal pain; hypertensive
        crisis (sudden life-threatening rise in blood pressure -- see
        Precautions)
Precautions:  avoid foods containing tyramine (aged/fermented cheeses,
        aged/fermented meat or fish, undistilled alcoholic beverages,
        some fruits and vegetables - consult your physician or
        pharmacist for a complete listing), caffeine and tryptophan
        during treatment and for 2 weeks following discontinuation --
        may trigger hypertensive crisis; do not discontinue or adjust
        dosage of medication without consulting physician; consult
        physician before taking any other non-prescription or
        prescription medication; notify physician if severe headache,
        skin rash, darkening of urine, pale stools, jaundice (yellowing
        of the skin) or other unusual symptoms occur; avoid alcohol;
        several weeks may be necessary before improvement is noted

        Generic Name:  isocarboxazid
        Brand Name:  Marplan

        Generic Name:  phenelzine
        Brand Name:  Nardil

        Generic Name:  tranylcypromine
        Brand Name:  Parnate


HYPNOTICS (SLEEPING MEDICATIONS)

Class:  benzodiazepines
Usage:  insomnia (difficulty falling asleep, frequent awakening, or
        early-morning awakening)
Side effects:  dizziness; drowsiness (the following morning); blurred
        vision
Precautions:  avoid alcohol and other depressants; do not exceed
        prescribed dosage; do not stop medication suddenly after
        long-term usage; may notice disturbed sleep for 1 or 2 nights
        after stopping medication; notify physician if you are pregnant,
        planning to become pregnant or are breast-feeding

        Generic Name:  estazolam
        Brand Name:  ProSom
        Additional side effects:  somnolence (sleepiness), weakness,
                hangover

        Generic Name:  flurazepam
        Brand Name:  Dalmane

        Generic Name:  temazepam
        Brand Name:  Restoril

        Generic Name:  triazolam
        Brand Name:  Halcion

        Generic Name:  quazepam
        Brand Name:  Doral


Class:  other hypnotics

        Generic Name:  chloral hydrate
        Brand Name:  Noctec
        Usage:  short-term (less than 2 weeks) management of insomnia
        Side effects:  gastrointestinal upset; drowsiness
        Precautions:  take medication with a full glass of water or
                fruit juice to avoid gastrointestinal upset; avoid
                alcohol and other depressants; may be habit-forming; do
                not stop medication suddenly

        Generic Name:  phenobarbital
        Brand Name:  Luminal
        Usage:  short-term (less than 2 weeks) management of insomnia
        Side effects:  somnolence (sleepiness); hangover
        Precautions:  do not increase dosage without consulting
                physician; use caution when driving or operating
                hazardous machinery until you are certain that the drug
                does not impair your ability to do so; avoid alcohol and
                other depressants; may be habit-forming; notify
                physician if any of the following occur:  fever, sore
                throat, mouth sores, easy bruising or bleeding,
                nosebleeds
-- 
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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery