From: vijay@wiliki.eng.hawaii.edu (Vijay Fafat)
Subject: bubblespeak
Organization: University of Engineering, College of Engineering
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 04:28:09 GMT

Everyman's guide to bubblespeak              Chidanand Rajghatta

I am frequently told that there is an alarming level of cynicism and 
revulsion in the general public for politics and politicians. Sad. This does
not augur well for democracy. I suspect that much of the skepticism is due
to the inability of the lay public to comprehend some of the utterances
of our public figures.Newspapers are also to be blamed for not interpreting
the political discourse of the day to their readers. Indeed, although we are
young and incipient nation, our contribution to the political lexicon
of the day is considerable.Much of the glossary comes under the head of
bubblespeak - a new genre- because it is transparent and transient. Let's
look at a few of them.

1) I will not shirk any responsibility :

   This line is a must if you want to get anywhere in politics.If you can't
mouth it with a look of sufficient humility, forget it. Stay as an 
executive in Jenson and Nicholson.The line should usually read, "I am shark
for any responsibility". It is usually preceded by, I am not an aspirant for
the job.But you bet he will mortgage his MA for the job.Infact, even if you see
him with a club in one hand, knife in the other,wearing a blood spattered
kurta and a manic gleam in his eyes, you can still hear him muttering, I will
not shirk...

2) I am a loyal soldier/humble worker of the party:

   This line is used by a neta who has just got a boot or who missed
getting the cabinet berth. It is usually said the day before he leaves the
party in a huff.

3) I have always been a true Congressman:

   A must for all opposition leaders who are not getting along with other
opposition leaders.It is a noise made by the frustrated neta preparatory
to sending an emissary to find out if he will be taken back in the party and
made a minister or governor,atleast.

4) It is like homecoming:

   An all time classic.Used by netas who have just managed to beg,supplicate
whine and grovel their ways back into the party after a stint in the doghouse.
Also means they now get back to the familiar routine of official plunder and
pillage.

5] There is no dissidence in the party:

    I am having to pay-off one crore to my party MLAs so they bloody well
shut up and squeal to nosey political reporters.

6] It is an internal matter of the party:

  We are in one hell of a mess but I'll be damned if I tell you scum reporters
about it.

7] Why should I resign? Nobody has asked me to resign.

   The dissidents are at my throat,the party president has asked me to pack
up and the governor has already been told to make arrangements for the
swearing in of a new chap. But catch me admitting it before I can clear a 
few files and make a small pile in the next 24 hours.

8] The allegations are baseless,mischievous and motivated.

You don't have the proof so I'll be damned if I admit it.

9] We'll look into the matter.

Forget it.

10]Gandhiji ne kaha tha :

All political leaders have to refer to Gandhiji while making any worthwhile
speech. Unfortunately, few have read Gandhi. But luckily for them, the
Mahatma has said everything possible under the Sun about India. So, having
involuntarily and by reflex, said, "gandhiji ne kaha tha", a politico can
safely wind up with something as brilliant as , "desh se garibi hatana
chahiye".

11] Punditji ne kaha tha:

Exclusive to all Congressmen. Invariably, it boils down to, "Punditji ne
kaha tha ki desh ko aage badhana hai"

12] Mark Twain ne kaha tha:

Look here, I'm a literate politician. MA,English,Honours.

13] pongal/etc was celebrated across the country with traditional gaiety:

People stayed at home and watched video/TV. There were the usual group
clashes everywhere.

14] His loss is irreplaceable and the void created is difficult to fill.

I know I should'nt speak ill of the dead... the SOB. What a pity he dies so
suddenly and that too before I could get even with him.

15] India will give a fitting reply.

Said by the Defence Minister atleast 6 times an year, mostly to the Pakis.
This time, unlike the last, we'll smash them to pulp,tear them apart,
scatter them,jump on them with hob-nailed boots...

  So long suckers, see you around.
 



b
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian