From: blchapma@eos.ncsu.edu (BEKKI LYN)
Subject: Re: another poem
Originator: blchapma@c00028-118dan.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: blchapma@eos.ncsu.edu (BEKKI LYN)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 21:39:07 GMT


In article <009611A5.BD55EF00@Msu.oscs.montana.edu>, uphrrmk@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:

|> In article <B08JRB4w165w@ailanth.UUCP>, ailsa%ailanth.uucp@wang.com (Ailsa N.T. Murphy) writes:
|
> >it's still out there!  don't they look at you like you are nuts STILL?
|> >i know i get that a lot around here.  i'm too lesbian and feminist for
|> >teh gamers, too rational and out for teh pagans, too pagan and radical
|> >for the lesbians.  straight peopel for the most part ignore me as an
|> >odd part of the landscape.  people who are what i woudl think are My
|> >Community are the ones who REALLY look at me funny.  i don't understand
|> >why people can only like people who fit neatly into neat little cookie
|> >cutter molds.
|> 
|> I, too.  I'd stopped going to the Gamers back home because of this attitude.
|> I was female,(and therefore desirable,) But too agressive,and they didn't like
|> it when I won. I'm Bi, so there's always the feeling (However unfair and
|> untrue) that BOTH sides are going to feel like I'm some kind of pervert.
|> Straights...Heh.  I don't know who scares who most there.>

I used to like gaming okay, even though I never had time to mega get into
it like some people I knew.  Now, most of my gaming is on the computer.
What turned me off from it was not the gaming itself, but most of the
gamers.  Practically all of them were male, and they always insisted
that I play female characters.  Many times I'd want to play male
characters 'cause I'd get an idea for a particular persona and I'd
want to play it.  I even had one DM okay a male character I wanted
to enter in, but then he changed him to a her behind my back.

Personally, I really don't care the sex of my gaming character, but
when someone *insists* that it must be a she or a he, I automatically
want to play the other sex just to spite them I suppose.

Finally, I grew disgusted with all the politics (not to mention all
the gamers that just had to believe I must be desparate for a man,
and they were it) and devoted my time to other things.  Not that I 
had that much time anyway.

I am het, but at the same time, I don't think having a male around me
all the time is all *that* important.  If I have one, and he doesn't
get on my nerves, then fine.  Otherwise, fine again.  I'm sick of men
always seeming to think that if I'm doing something by myself that
I'm just dying for one of them to come up and throw themselves at
me.  I feel like I'm generally a polite and friendly person, but I feel
sometimes that I have to learn how to be bitchy all the time.  Damn,
you just smile and say hello to someone just to be polite, and the
dude won't leave you alone for the next 10 years.  Even if I have
a boyfriend (which I do and I like him fine) it doesn't matter.  They
still think I'm coming on to them just because I nod my head in their
direction when they ask me the time of day.  I've outright told men
to get lost and that I'm not interested.  (Men who I've never had
any sort of intimate relationship with).  Does it work?  NO!!!! They
don't listen.  Oh gee whiz, I must be lying to them.  I can't really
be serious.  GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NO MEANS NO, DAMMIT!!!!!!

Whew!  That felt much better.  Sometimes it feels good to ramble.

-- 

Bekki Lyn

************************************************************
"All's well at the midnight hour; you're ready to fly
 Don't think about the darkness, or the rumbling in the sky.
 Somewhere on the morning road just waiting for you
 Some things that just could never be are calling up a
   spell so you can see..
 Dream Evil, the dark that you find in the back of your mind
 Dream Evil Dream Evil -- DIO --
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