HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: The San Francisco Comical
Date: 2 Oct 92 19:57:26 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia

In article <lcp05cINNb0b@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> Geoff Miller writes:

>The paper I subscribe to, the San Francisco Chronicle, sensibly continued
>most of the front-page articles on the back page of the front section,
>making them easy and convenient to find.  A few weeks ago, however, they
>started putting the continuations inside the front section.  Mostly on a
>consistent page in the front section, but inside nonetheless.  I took this
>as yet another example of entropy in action, manifested in the subtle yet
>inexorable decline of Western civilization.  It pisses me off.

It ought to.  The SF Chronicle isn't the paper to read if you want to
know what's going on in the world, granted, but until recently the
management at least managed to not screw around with the layout
unnecessarily.  First they started printing the Sporting Green on
plain newsprint (don't ask me why I *liked* reading the sports news
on green paper, but I grew up with it so I was used to it, OK?), then
they decided to distribute the classified ads throughout nearly every
section so if you want to find that 1957 Ford Fairlane for sale you
have to traipse through the entire paper INCLUDING the damned "Style"
section, they replaced Charles McCabe's column with one by Jon Carrol
(and yes, I *know* McCabe's dead but I'd rather read a daily report
on the progress of his corpse's decomposition than the swill that
Carrol produces), they now include the line "The Pink Section (tm)"
at the bottom of the cover of the pink section on Sunday, and, as
Geoff points out, they replaced the back of the first section, which
used to include not just stories continued from the front page but
a concise summary of the major stories of the day in a box which was
always in the same place, with (get this) a page of ADVERTISING!

Who lets these people live?

>Geoff

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "Often in error, never in doubt." 
rickg@netcom.com |   --- Universal Marketing Department motto
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Re: speed trap
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 20:04:19 GMT

<In article <LARRY.92Oct4180907@peak.psl.nmsu.edu> larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:

<   I'm heading north on Telshore Boulevard, from Lohman. 

	ObPeeve: I couldn't picture this as possible, until I 
	remembered that what used to be called "Frontage Road"
	is now "North Telshor Blvd".

	ObPeeveII: "Frontage Road" is so much better.

[Most amusing LarryStory en re Yuppies & Justice deleted to save
space]

<   Another half mile down the road, we are approaching the fast food joints
<   on the corner of Lohman and Telshore, and their infamous thoroughly
<   screwed up traffic signal there.

	OBPEEVE: the traffic "engineers" of the Ciudad de Las Cruces.
	Not only is it impossible for them to set up stoplights so
	that driving at the speed limit moves traffic through
	them, they cannot plan for the future (where "future" means
	any time beyond RIGHT NOW, including this afternoon).

	As a result, we have some intersections where traffic
	must merge from 4 lanes to 3 with no warning; we have
	traffic lights that back automobile traffic up on freeway
	offramps (and onto the freeway) and we have situations
	where one must stop EVERY DAMNED BLOCK for a traffic
	light.

	ObNONPeeve: at least it ain't as bad as El Paso....

<   Such joy it is being an asshole sometimes!

	I nominate Larry as Traffic Engineer of Peevetown.

<   RelatedPeeve: The Whole Enchilada festival. Here, in Las Cruces. This
<   weekend. Sheesh!

	ObPeeve: artificial "festivals". The Whole Enchabarfo
	used to be called "Vaquero Days" for no apparent reason.
	The name was changed because nobody was going to "Vaquero
	Days"; bizarrely, it worked.
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Nipple Debate (was: Boss Peeve)
Date: 5 Oct 92 07:21:53 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:


>I suggest that rather than a sequined gown, you should be wearing
>cut-off khaki shorts, cartridge belts, and a .50 cal machine
>gun...Seems somehow more appropriate.

March 1991 Operation Desert Shield calendar.
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Rewriting History
Date: 28 Sep 92 19:06:48 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1992Sep25.175228.7753@access.usask.ca> nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca (Mark Nesdoly) writes:
>jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>
>>What really gets me is people who ban books from schools on the basis of 
>>sex or violence, and then turn around and say that kids should read the
>>Bible.  No, I ain't got nothing agaist the Bible. It's a great piece of
>>literature & a super read, esp. the Book of Jonah, but it's got more
>>violence and violence than prime time TV.  
>
>I read in the paper yesterday about a guy in the U.S. (New York I think, but
>I'm not sure) who is trying to ban the bible from his children's school.
>His reason:  it contains too much violence, sex, sexism, etc. etc. etc.
>What a fucking loser.  Let's give his name to all the Jesus freaks out there,
>so they can disembowel him.


My only peeve is that I did not think of it first. I don't think the
guy is a loser. I think he is making a damn fine point there.

It would be great if Madonna put the Song of Solomon to music. Imagine
her nude with someone pouring a bowl of wheat grains on her abdomen with
the Standard bumpa-bumpa noises going on in the background.

Then those fools might blast a single neuron in one, brief moment of
thought.

When I was a teenager, there was a column printed in the local paper
by some ancestor of Ed Anger who preached about patriotism by slamming
everyone who criticised the government claiming they should love it or
leave it. I hand-copied a portion of the Declaration of Independence
that dealt with free speech and throwing the bums out. I added some
words of my own to the effect that if people are told they have the
right to express their opions, they are going to do it. I ended the
letter off by calling the guy a commie for trying to suppress free speech.
About a month later, the newspaper stopped publishing the idiot's
drivel. I don't know if it was coincidence, but it sure was empowering.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I just couldn't take the green brain carpet, so I had to kill it."
					-R. Hep
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 15:24:28 GMT

>C'mon, Dan, wasting pheasants with a combine can't count for as much
>as blowing rabbits into a frothy red mass with a 12 ga.  What's the
>power factor of a combine, anyway?
>
>I just want to know what he did with the rabbits after punching their
>tickets with a 12 gauge.  Not a lot of Mr. Bunny left after hitting
>them with 1.25 oz of lead pellets at 800 fps...

   If you wait until the rabbit is about 20 yards away and hit em'
with # 8 bird shot, it doesn't mess them up too much.  Nothing
like eating rabbit with crunchy bits of bird shot.  You get your
minimum RDA of lead that way as a bonus.

   I quit bovine products and meat a while ago.  I have lost about
15 pounds so far, and have saved about 100 a month on my food
bill, including the 50 I used to spend at McD's.  I also have
a lot more energy, as my body spends less time processing
cow fat and salt and cholesterol and steriods and growth harmones and
antibiotics and triglycerides and fecal contaminants.

   Becoming a rabbid(t? hey) vegitarian seems
to offend the sensibilities of Iowa Dan the Combine Man,
so I know I must be on the right track.

Peeve:  Trickle down economics.  The only thing trickling
is piss down the legs of bonehead working and middle class
republicans as their jobs are shipped overseas.

Scott Park

Opinions expresses are mine, and have nothing to do with the company I
work for.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,rec.hunting
From: dnewcomb@whale.st.usm.edu (Donald R. Newcomb)
Subject: Re: Story: choose the proper weapon for the job
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: 6 Oct 92 08:41:59 CDT
Originator: hunting@osnome.che.wisc.edu
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203

In article <1992Oct5.075404.9512@doug.cae.wisc.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>	A friend of mine was a Force Recon Marine during the Vietnam war.
>During this time period, his company was ordered to serve as instructors
>for other troops in Asia, notably in Thailand.  During an exercise, the
>squad was approaching an objective using a two-element pinchers attack,
>and suddenly there appeared a very angry elephant.  Said elephant started
>charging towards one squad, which would have meant several flattened
>Marines and squad members.  The 5.56 NATO round the M16 uses is just
>not considered heavy enough for hunting elephants.

First, in Vietnam the round would not have been 5.56 NATO as that round,
based on the SS109, was not adopted by NATO until years after the Vietnam
War ended. Second, you would be surprised how small a round can kill an
elephant. One of the most popular calibers used by commercial elephant
hunters in Africa was the 6.5 mm Dutch Manlicher. This round is about
the same as the 6.5 Carcano or 6.5x54 Manlicher Schoneauer (sp?). The
round was used for "brain shots" to assure a quick and humane dispatch.
It was true, however, that the hunter would have a double barrel 
elepahant gun ready, just in case.

-- 

Donald R. Newcomb
dnewcomb@whale.st.usm.edu
newcomb@usmcp6.bitnet
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Human sheep
Date: 30 Sep 1992 05:28:08 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: boa.cs.berkeley.edu

Do you believe in human sheep
With their curly little whirly tails
So they hang themselves, when all else fails

Peeve: people who get old Robyn Hitchcock songs whirling
around in my brain.

c
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Satanic Death Toddlers From Hell
Keywords: breezeblock kalashnikov kylie penicuik psychedelic pushchair
Date: 30 Sep 92 11:29:12 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <BvCqp2.30z@dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
=>To start with, I went for my bus.

Lo, God's in his Heaven, Al's on his bus, and all's well with the world,
except that paul@maps still hasn't got a clue.

      Broadcast Message at 12:13 ...

        *** Shutdown message for maps from paul@maps ***

Broadcast Message at 12:18 ...

        *** Shutdown message for maps from paul@maps ***

Broadcast Message at 12:19 ...

        ...Maintenance, back at 14.00hrs

Broadcast Message at 12:27 ...

        *** Shutdown message for maps from paul@maps ***

Broadcast Message at 12:27 ...

        *** Shutdown message for maps from ops@maps ***


-- 
=======Jeremy Henderson========jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk===============
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: MacDonalds (was Re: Boss Peeve)
Date: 30 Sep 92 11:36:06 GMT
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <BvCpM9.KEA@nic.umass.edu>, jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
> In article <lch0ejINN3as@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>>
>>
>>The company seems to represent a composite of all the usual societal boogey-
>>men to these folks: artificiality, massive beef consumption, environmental
>>"insensitivity" <gack>, etc., etc., ad nauseum.  One of these guys (some
>>Stanford type) even went so far as to label it a "deathkultur."  
>>
> 
> My only problem with McD's is that they take away business from perfectly good
> diners.  To me, there is nothing that affirms my pride in being an American
> like a slice of meat loaf, some mashed potatoes and a helthy wallop of peas
> served to me by woman with HariFromHell(TM) who calls me hon & keeps my
> coffee cup eternally full.
> 
> I'd like McD's a lot better if they had individual jukeboxes on each table
> that haven't been restocked since the Beatles broke up.
> 
*I*'d like Mc.D's a lot better if they had those comfey red naugahyde diner 
seats, and sold REAL cherry pie with REAL ice cream. Salt, pepper,and sugar
in little glass containers sitting on chrome and formica tables would only 
help matters. 

 Peeve: The finest diner in the known universe, the Blue Bird Cafe, is a 
continent away, in Edson, Alberta.

!Peeve: the secon best diner in the known universe (Joe's Diner) is two
blocks from my apartment.

Mike
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Spokesman for Earth Election Looms
Date: 29 Sep 92 00:04:00 GMT
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article rickg@netcom.com, rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon) writes:
>The candidates for Spokesman for Earth are:
> [...] "Anybody but David Frost"

Thank God, I *am* on the list.

---
Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
        The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
          It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Cindy Crawford peeve
Date: 5 Oct 92 22:04:20 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <5786@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched) writes:
>aldavi01@rigel.spd.louisville.edu (Arlie Davis) writes:
>
>>The second peeve is a specific commercial -- the one in which she is first
>>dressed in a nice comfy black&green flannel shirt, jeans, and ballcap?  And
>>enters her trailer, and comes out wearing some icky, trashy, tacky "dinner
>>dress" (or whatever the fuck the call them)?
>
>>THAT's my peeve.  She looks much better BEFORE she goes in the trailer.  When
>>she comes out, she's wearing far too much lipstick, and just looks generally
>>unappealing.  Gross, gross, gross.
>
>Go away.
>
>There are no feminazi chicks here to impress.
>
>Take it to alt.romance.chat
>
>You have been warned.

There is a problem here, though, ...He's right.

Now, Cindy Crawford is a dog. Let us not forget that. I have
met more attractive SharPei in my time. And more graceful
tree sloths.

Nevertheless, when she exits said trailer she looks like a bad
joke about clown makeup.

When she goes into it, at least you can detect a face underneath
the pancakes of goo she is already wearing to make her look
"natural".

There are no attractive supermodels anyway. They all look
like etoliated 15yrolds.

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: The Best Music Mix of the 60's, 70's, 80's and Today
Date: 28 Sep 1992 01:11:29 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu

A couple of AC station peeves:

Why has every Adult Contemporary station decided to start promoting itself
as a station with "the Best Mix"?

Do the people at W--- FM really believe that theirs is "the only station
that everyone at work can agree on"?

Do they also believe that Whitney Houston and Michael Bolton are really
"today's best music"?

Isn't it funny how they trumpet the fact that they play "no rap, and no
hard stuff"? These are probably the same people who had to defend Elvis
and the Beatles from their Perry-Como-Frank-Sinatra-loving parents. You'd
think they'd be a little more understanding...

Will I grow up to hate MY children's music?

Big antipeeve: I do take perverse pleasure in hearing an old fart of an
AC deejay having to say the name "Toad the Wet Sprocket".

Peter!

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Subject: Re: Possible Conspiracy Uncovered
Originator: yarvin@cathy.CS.Yale.Edu
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 16:37:11 GMT

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>Okay, who has the blue powder?

The chemists, of course.

Call up a chemical supply house and ask for some copper sulphate.  You will
not even have to pay hazardous material shipping charges.

--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
 "His urine must corrode his commode something awful."
	-- Gordon Banks, speaking about Linus Pauling
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donp@twg.com (Don Pette)
Subject: Have your way with me (was McDsomething)
Organization: The Wollongong Group, Palo Alto, CA
Distribution: world,local
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 21:55:15 GMT

In article <BvE30n.MxF@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>
>Beer Making Peeve:  It's gonna be at least a month till I can taste the
>finished product.
>
>!Peeve: That month'll allow a LOT of that brown sugar to turn into alcohol.


Dearest Jennifer,

I'm sorry to have to do this in a public forum, I have tried to refrain
from such undignified tactics, but alas, I cannot.

I love you...I want you...come to me.

I know that there are many here who would like to say the same thing,
but me being a BallsyMan, well you know. Thanks for letting me get this
off my chest, and if there is ever anything I can take off yours, please
let me know.

Eternally yours,

-Don 'if you don't try, you'll never know' Pette

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 03:59:13 GMT

In article <5lfp3q-@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
>	My personal favorite is Kraft(tm) Cheese and Macaroni. This
>stuff is so simple that I have only known one person to ever screw
>it up. I will point out where he went wrong in the recipe.
>
>Kraft(tm) Mac and Cheese
>--------------------

may i recommend that you spend the extra cents and get the delux kraft
mac and cheese *spirals*. it's the same recipe and the same flavor but ooo
those spirals just... just... oooOOOOOooooo...

-l "le spirals. magnifique!" p

-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:15055 alt.folklore.urban:24693
From: pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Montykins)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: McDonald's and the IRA (Re: Big mac's and students)
Date: 2 Oct 92 02:00:10 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <1acmdbINNq63@bigboote.WPI.EDU>, padutton@joseph.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:
>
>In any case, this brings up a related peeve: Protesters at St. Patrick's
>Day parades who hold up signs saying "Give Ireland Back To The Irish" and
>such, not caring that the average participant doesn't care for much more
>than finding the next mug of green beer. And that the IRA are a bunch
>of twits. And I'm Catholic, so I can say that.
>

Y'know, there's so much fighting in Ireland, it's pretty much just
like Beirut. Except there's still a few Christians in the Middle
East.

 -Paul "Monty" Ashley
   (And I'm a snide, plagiarising bastard, so I can say that)
-- 
"Am I a drunken loon? Whoo! Whoo!"        | pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu
     -- David Letterman                   |  [Not a UCSD employee]
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Big mac's and students
Date: Tue, 06 Oct 92 04:59:44 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <ld0ogeINNfku@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>NORAID is in fact the name of a prominent Ulster relief agency.  Didn't 
>you read _Patriot Games_?  :^)

Peeve: Tom Clancy. This evil man is on a crusade to prevent me from getting
any sleep. Of course, my evil roommate is in cahoots with him. Clancy
writes the damned books and then the EvilOne buys them, reads them, tells
me how good they were and then tricks me into reading them just as I am 
thinking about getting some sleep. 2 or 3ish in the morning I realize that 
I am gonna be really tired when my alarm goes off at 5am, so I'd better 
read this next chapter quickly.

-- 
"Hey, Guido! It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and
you're the lemon merchant. Getit? And he knows it! That's why he's gonna kill
us. So we gotta beat it. Yeah, before he lets loose the marmosets on us! - Ren
Newsgroups: alt.peeves