From: jgacker@NEPTUNE.GSFC.NASA.GOV (James G. Acker)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: B&B:  Tuesday's Torrid Tale (or, "Jaws Bites")
Date: 29 Jul 92 18:08:32 GMT


	Wello, on Tuesday:

	First of all, we see the U.S. 4x100 freestyle relay team (women)
set a new world record!  And I knew Nicole Haislett! (and I'm no Nicole
Haislett).   Then we see more gymnastics, featuring the speed-demon
Tatiana Gutsu of the Unified Team dazzle on the uneven bars and then take
a costly dive off the balance beam.
	Then we see Richard Dreyfuss menaced by Bruce the shark whilst
trying to inject strychine into his mouth.  Dreyfuss gets away, and 
Bruce is later blown to smithereens by a bad case of explosive 
decompression (unfortunately, I missed the "Robert Shaw for dinner" 
scene).
	Let's see, where I was?  Oh yeah, how could I forget...

	Tuesday on "The Bold and the Beautiful"

	IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, HONEY...

	Zach moodies on the beach porch of the Bikini Bar.   Thinks back
to the super-kiss with Felicia on the beach.  She said "I'm falling in love
with you."   He then proceeded to kiss her.  Then, as he lay back on the 
towel waiting for the first veil to drop,  Sammy the Enforcer (no known
name as yet) dropped by...
	Sly comes out, partially dressed in a black shirt and shorts.  
Zach recommends more formal attire, but Sly says its a BBQ by the pool.
Then that's fine.  Sly says to rest assured he'll make no moves on 
Zach's girl.  Zach says hey, the field is wide open -- make any moves
you want.  Felicia materializes behind him and looks hammered -- care to
explain the disappearing act on the beach? she asks.  Would you believe
David Copperfield?  Zach replies.
	Felicia asks Sly if she's ready.  Zach tells them to have a nice time.
One of them says you can still come, but Zach says uh, I have plans -- he
calls out a girl named Rhonda (help me, Rhonda, yeah, get her out of my
heart) and brings her out.  Rhonda is a deluxe buxom California blonde type.
Zach says we're gonna have a kinda private party, right?  Felicia is 
nauseous and drags Sly out by the biceps.

	Meanwhile, by the pool, Taylor and Ridge talk a bit (Taylor is 
wearing a sheer fabric over the bikini -- perhaps to hide a few extra
inches from the honeymoon buffets?)  Taylor says I noticed Dad's car
is here and they talk about it.  Ridge says not to worry about her Dad, 
he can probably take care of himself, then walks away.  Taylor soliloquies
that it's not dear old Dad she's worried about -- it's Stephanie.

	...LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH (PART 1)

	Stephanie greets Jack at the door, and after exchanging 
pleasantries, they exchange large quantities of saliva.  Stephanie comes
up for air and says that was pretty good!

	...LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH (PART 2)

	Macy comes in to find Sally pensive on the Clarke exit.  Seems 
Clarke is lurking somewhere in the building and they can't find him.  Macy
is dressed in a cheery flower print and says to Momma that she did a lot
of thinking while on vacation (I guess) and decided that Love has got 
a lot to do with it, so she's going to stand by her man!  Sally is 
thrilled.  And I'm going to do it NOW!  Sally says then get over to the
Forrester family fishy fandango and get your hooks into Thorne!  Macy 
takes off.

	...LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH (PART 3)

	Thorne and Karen stand quietly behind MamamiaMaria and Thorne
says I have someone I want you to meet.  Maria turns around and says
several Mexican expressions of surprise at seeing the dead Caroline.
Karen is uneasy.  Thorne reassures MamamiaMaria that this is not
a specter or a Spectra, it's a Spencer.  Karen that is.  MamamiaMaria
exits in a disturbed state.
	Karen asks Thorne who's going to be at the party, and Thorne
sings Sly and the Family Stone, "It's a family affair...", so Macy
won't be there (she's still in the hills, far as he knows).  He goes to
put on a swimsuit, and Karen says to herself "I wasn't so worried about
Macy as much as the Ridgester."

	...LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH (PART 4)

	Everybody else must be poolside, because when Sly comes in and
gawps at the furnishings, nobody's home.  Sly, up for the Mr. Stud Sensitive
Award 1992, tells Felicia he knows that Zach is the man for her and he's just
killing time.  Felicia says you're a good friend and then asks why did he
do that to me?  I was falling in love with him, I told him so.  Sly is
downcast.  Felicia thinks.  Sly comes over, gives her a friendly shoulder
rub (he's really piling up points) and suggests they join the party.

	...DON'T LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH (PART 1)

	Zach is on the beach patio with helpmeRhonda, who oscillates 
over to him.  So what's going on?  she mumbles, standing with fine
upright posture.  Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, Zach mumbles back.  You had
something going with Felicia and you hurt her, helpmeRhonda observes.
Yeah, something like that.  Do we have a date or what?  helpmeRhonda
asks.  Or what, Zach says, so slip out the back.  We're closing up early.
Rhonda reluctantly leaves her, and I reluctantly stop hitting REWIND.
	Zach bids everyone farewell, then goes to extinguish the
Tiki lamps.  He hears a noise, and quickly hides behind a surfboard.
The audience sees Sammy the Enforcer enter, Enforcer in hand.  Zach is still 
behind a surfboard outside.  
TENSION!

	...LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH, BABE (PARTY)

	At the party, Felicia brings down Sly and Thorne mistakenly 
calls him Zach.  Sly doesn't mind as long as Thorne buys him a beer.
	Sly helps out with the barbecue by Ridge and Jack.
	Sly keeps Taylor and Stephanie entertained (his shirt is off
by now).
	Sly goes to Israel and negotiates a Mideast peace settlement.
	Sly stops Dolph Lundgren in the first round and insures the 
triumph of capitalism over Communism.
	Sly is nominated for Secretary-General of the United Nations.
	Sly accepts the nomination but says he doesn't want to take 
any money for the job.
	Ridge asks Sly why he became a bartender and Sly says so he
could observe people.
	
	Oops, out of sequence -- Thorne and a nervous Karen meet
Ridge and Taylor.  Ridge shows facial interest in Karen.  Taylor
says I'm not as jet-lagged (or sexually satiated) as the last time
we met.  Then enter Felicia and Sly.
	While Sly is BBQ'ing, Taylor talks to Felicia.  She's just
trying to get through tonight, Felicia tells her.  Zach is a mystery.
Taylor says I'm a-gonna have to meet this Zach.
	Ridge comes over and tells Felicia that Sly is a winner in his
book.  Sly and Felicia exchange meaningful glances after Ridge tells
Felicia that he can dance, too.  Sly comes over and says she looks 
like she needs something (wonder what?).  Felicia sings Whitney 
Houston, "I want to dance with somebody...".  They dance, and do plenty
of lip-hovering, but never quite... make... it.

	...LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH (PART 5)

	Macy knocks on the door, and Maria answers.  Surprise!  I'm hear
to see Thorne, Macy says.  I'll just change into the most revealing 
swimsuit I've got and surprise him, so don't tell anyone I'm here!
She skedaddles her superb self up the stairs.  He certainly will be
surprised, Maria says to herself.
	Thorne, meanwhile, is not satisfied with lip-hovering.  He asks
Karen if she's having a good time, and she says yes, especially with 
you!  They do make it, slowly and lingeringly, just as a luscious
Macy promenades down the stairs, looks around, and espies the osculatory
activity.  Her gorgeous brown eyes widen in shock...

	...KILL THE ONE YOU'RE WITH?  (PART 1)

	 Zach checks to see if the coast is clear.   He doesn't see 
anything, sighs, gets up, relaxes, and continues to extinguish the 
Tiki torches.  As he goes to the last one, he hears a metallic
click, and slowly turns to meet a .35 caliber revolver in the hands
of Sammy the Enforcer.  Sammy does not appear to be pleased to see
Zach.


	Returning to the Olympics, Kim Zmeskal makes the final three
for the individual all-around with strong performances in the 
floor exercise and vault.  And I finally go to bed!


	Jim "marathon man" Acker
	jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov