From: elf@ee.ryerson.ca (luis fernandes)
Subject: _Wizardry_Compiled_
Followup-To: rec.humor
Summary: A compilation of sayings from the novel _Wizardry_Compiled_
Organization: Ryerson Polytechnical Institute, Toronto
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 00:03:37 GMT

This is a compilation of sayings that preceed each chapter of
_Wizardry_Compiled_, the sequel to _Wizard's_Bane_, by Rick Cook.
The novel tells the adventures of a Silicon Valley hacker in a
land where "Magic is real, unless declared integer."

The following exchange (which takes place in a tent at a tournament
of the Society of Chronogical Anachronisms) is memorable:

          "We need people with experience."

          "I've got experience," he [Thorkil du Libre Dragonwatcher, a
        teenage hacker looking to fill a job] protested. "I've worked
        in TOS 1.4, AmigaDOS and ProDOS."

           Jerry, who didn't consider a computer a computer unless it ran at
        least BSD Unix, winced. "Those are game machines."

(Uh oh! Do I hear Peter reaching for his flamethrower ?)

As is the existence of Emac, a gnome-line creature (daemon) used to
edit spells, with a voice-input interface & mid-air output of glowing
green letters...

The novel is interesting, but I wouldn`t say "Run out and get it" but
rather "If you come across it, give it a read". Some of the sayings
won't mean much here because they're out of context.

So, enjoy!

--
luis fernandes  <elf@ee.ryerson.ca>

========================================================================
PART I: LOAD TIME

1.
You can always tell a good idea by the enemies it makes.
- programmer's axiom

2.
Everything always takes twice as long and costs four times as much as
you planned.
- programmer's axiom

3.
It's never the technical stuff that gets you in trouble. It's the
personalities and the politics.
- programmer's sayings

4.
Those who can't do, teach.
- article of faith among students

And vice-versa.
- programmer's addendum to students' article of faith

5.
Living with a programmer is easy. All you need is the patience of a
saint.
- programmer's wives' saying

6.
Applications programming is a race between software engineers, who
strive to produce idiot-proof programs, and the Universe which
strives to produce bigger idiots.
- software engineers' saying

So far, the Universe is winning.
- applications programmers' saying

7.
The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a
soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with
an idea.
- computer saying

8.
You can't do just one thing.
- Campbell's Law of everything

9.
Friends come an go, but enemies accumulate.
- Murphy's Law #1024

and sometimes the the real trick is telling the difference.
- Murphy's Law #1024a

10.
Whenever you use a jump, be sure of your destination address.
- programmer's saying

PART II: LINK TIME

11.
Always secure your files. You never know who's lurking about.
- programmer's saying

12.
Never argue with a redhaired witch. It wastes your breath and only
delays the inevitable.
- the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt

13.
If you eat a live toad first thing in the morning, nothing worse will
happen all day long.
- California saying

To you or the toad.
- Niven's restatement of California saying

--well, most of the time, anyway...
- programmer's caveat to Niven's restatement of California saying

PART III: COMPILE

14.
You never find out the whole story until after you've signed the
contract.
- programmer's saying

15.
A jump gone awry is one of the hardest bugs to locate.
- programmer's saying

16.
You can't unscramble an egg.
- old saying

You can if you're powerful enough.
- the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt

17.
Magic is real, unless declared integer.
- the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt

18.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
- Clarke's law

Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
- Murphy's reformulation of Clarke's law

Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a rigged
demostration.
- programmer's restatement of Murphy's reformulation of Clarke's law

19.
Putting twice as many programmers on a project that is late will make
it twice as late.
- Brooks' law of programming projects

20.
Never give a sucker an even break.
- W. C. Fields

Especially not if he's a big mean sucker.
- the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt

PART IV: RUN TIME

21.
Sleep? Isn't that a completely inadequate substitute for caffine?
- programmer's saying

22.
Good client relations are the key to a successful project.
- consultants' saying

23. At some time in the project you're going to have to break down
and finally define the problem.
- programmer's saying

24. 
Customer support is an art, not a science.
- marketing saying

So are most other forms of torture.
- programmers' response

25.
Programming is like pinball. The reward for doing it is the
opportunity of doing it again.
- programmers' saying

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