From: nlt@gboro.glassboro.edu (N. L. Tinkham)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: Re: What is co-dependance and what is the Bible's view of it?
Date: 16 Aug 92 05:48:33 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, Glassboro State College

Michael Tucker writes:

>      I suspect that I might be in what the world a co-dependant
> relationship.  I would like to know what co-dependency is from a
> Biblical point of view and what would be the Biblical response to
> co-dependency.   Thank you all, very much.  May God's peace and love
> be on you.

     As far as I know, the Bible does not directly address codependency
or related problems like addiction or low self-esteem.  These questions
seem not to have been raised by the Biblical authors and their culture.
I'm not sure why; perhaps the ancients spent more time trying to survive
physically and less time examining emotional subtleties; or perhaps
marriages weren't expected to be emotionally intimate, so it wasn't a
disappointment when intimacy didn't happen.

     There are some Biblical passages that relate to modern ideas about
codependency.  Genesis 1 and similar passages like Psalm 8 speak of men
and women as being in the image of God and being a glorious part of God's
creation -- giving a basis for seeing ourselves as good and valuable.
Jesus' willingness to offer himself for us also bears witness to our value
in God's sight:  yes, we are sinners and redemption is unearned, but we
aren't worthless trash; God didn't see us as a waste of his time, but
rather redeemed us at great cost to himself.

     The Magnificat and similar discourses in the Prophets and the Gospels
affirm the dignity that belongs to the oppressed.  I think it is reasonable
to apply these proclamations to those suffering abuse in their families.

     The almost hopeless entanglement in destructive patterns that comes
out of dysfunctional families is, to me, strongly reminiscent of the Bible's
language about enslavement to sin.  The Christian concept of original sin,
an inescapable tendency to sin that's already wired into us by the time we
come to understand "good" and "evil" as a child, has much in common with
the patterns of hurting ourselves and others that many people learn in
their childhood families.  There is more to original sin than dysfunctional
families, of course, but I think families are part of how original sin is
transmitted.  Paul also speaks of doing the evil that he does not want to do.
And the curse in Genesis 3 shows sin working in marriages:  we will desire
intimacy but instead we will find someone who wants to dominate us, or
we will seek to dominate another.

     To the extent that being codependent involves sin and unhealth, I
believe we have hope in Christ's redemption and healing.  It's too
simplistic to say "Accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior and
then you'll be completely cured";  I've heard a few instantaneous-healing
stories, but things take longer for most people.  Nevertheless, I believe
that spiritual healing comes to us through God's grace and through Christ's
work of redemption.


     That's my general answer to the question of codependency and the
witness of Scripture.  The Bible doesn't address most questions of
psychology directly, but I find a congruence between some modern writings
on codependence and some of the Bible's major themes.

     I've posted this article rather than e-mailing it because I thought
it might be of use to more people than just Mr. Tucker.  I'll refrain from
posting my own private struggles with codependency, but I'm willing to
continue the discussion by e-mail with anyone who is interested.

_____________________________________________________________________________

                                              Nancy Tinkham
                                              nlt@gboro.glassboro.edu