From: jcliu@four-lab4.Berkeley.EDU (James C. Liu)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.japan
Subject: Re: Roman Hikou (was: Pheromones,otoko,and cabs)
Date: 31 Dec 1992 08:38:59 GMT
Organization: UC Berkeley Dept. of Nuclear Engineering
NNTP-Posting-Host: four-lab4.berkeley.edu

Part II:

How Japanese men can get Japanese women to SAY YES

Women are pretty much alike around the world.  The following should
apply anywhere and for any guy, foreign and domestic.  
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1.  Appearance.  Tailored Suits.  If you're in Japan, and can afford
the investment, get suits that fit.  If you can't afford it, better
hurry because the Men's Wearhouse is having a sale but it only happens
once a year! :-) Truth is I just picked up 3 suits and 3 sport coats for
under $900 and to fit my 48L frame in Japan it would have cost me at
least Y120,000.  Sleeve length, fit in the back and the look of the
shoulder is important.  The ladies always seem to notice the guys with
the poorly fitting clothes. Go figure?
      No white socks.  Wear dark coloured grey or black socks
with nice little geometric patterns or paisley swirls.  Japanese gals
will check out your feet when you take your shoes off.  Wear colourful
ties that match the suit.  Don't let the tie hang down past your fly.
You get food stains, bathroom stains, etc. on it...That's the truth!
Lots of Japanese do this...perhaps because the tie is too long.  Buy
shorter ties.  Tie the tie with an appropriate knot.  You can tie it
with a fat knot or a thin one.  A good model to check out is Kawabata 
on NHK news (Co-anchor with Kuroda Ayumi-san) His suits could have a 
nicer cut but he does have decent ties and well tied ones.  
      Try wearing burgundy penny loafers with a light brown/beige patterned 
suit once in a while rather than drab grey or dark blue.  Try wearing
laced shoes once in a while too.  It's inconvenient in Japan if you wear
laced shoes every day, but once in a while it gives a small variety to
your appearance.  Believe me, they'll notice.
      If you don't wear suits regularly, but dress more casually, keep
a nice tweed or camel hair coat for cold days and a thin cotton or silk
one for warmer weather.  Avoid 65+% polyester shirts made in China.
Bright, large or oversized flannels and chamois shirts are popular and
go well with jeans.  With casual clothes, the rule is that whatever you
wear, you should look neat and *comfortable*.  To keep the nape of the
neck clean, you should get a hair cut at least every 3-4 weeks.  It
reduces ring-around-the-collar and gives a nice, clean look in the back.
Finally, try using hair products and maybe even get your right ear
pierced if your company allows that kind of stuff.  The girls go for the
novelty.  It looks cool, makes you seem more daring and bold. And BTW, 
don't forget to clean your eye glasses of soot and clean your fingernails 
and clip them neatly.

2.  Smell.  Number 1 rule: stop smoking.  Number 2 rule:  spend more
time in non-smoking environments.   Ever wonder why the okusans always
hang out the bedding everyday?  So they can air out the smokey, stinky,
sweaty smells. 
    Put potpourri in your underwear dresser draws and closets.  Don't
use moths balls to ward moths away from your nice suits, instead, hang
cedar chips in with the potpourri.  Real men smell like the great
outdoors...yeah...flowers and pine trees!
    Forget your current laundry detergent.  Chose something with a
little more fragrance...like the girls might use...I recommend "Mama
Pockety" brand products. 
    Go easy on the aftershave.  It's better to actually spray the
cologne on your clothes and hang then up in the closet overnight to let
the pungency diffuse a bit than to apply directly. For most occasions, 
especially warm weather, a more musky cologne is preferred (previously 
I suggested Christian Dior and Ralph Lauren.)  Aramis Tuscany is another
one thats good.  In cold weather, a more citrusy scent is okay.  These
include Old Spice and Drakkar Noir.  It's amazing how a little freshing
up with the right scents can make a lady enjoy the act of dakishimeru
that much more.
    The best cure for bad breath is kiwi fruit followed by brushing your
teeth and *tongue* with hot water.  The kiwi has a large source of
chlorophyl and ascorbic acid which neutralize bad breath and foul
smelling stomach and esophagial secretions.  If you don't have a kiwi,
then eat some other fruit (except banana) and then brush.  Use mouthwash
only in emergencies, because unless you remove the grunge on your
tongue, the plaque on your teeth and do something to those digestive
juices, the bad breath comes back! 

3. Omiyage.  Try to remember all the dates when you should be giving her
omiyage.  These include birthdays, days when you come back from a
business trip, holidays like Valentines, White Day, Christmas, Easter,
New Years, etc.  If you don't know when her birthday is, secretly find
out.  Hack into the MIS account and find her employment file if you're
deft enough.  Never forget wrapping paper (don't simply hand it to her
in standard depato packaging no matter how nice)  Insist at the counter
that they do a custom wrap job.
    A few good choices for omiyage are: sweatshirts (a.k.a tureenaa) from 
a famous university (like Berkeley!), funky slippers, flowers, sweet
things, picture frame music boxes, Chage&Aska CD's, mini-stuffed
animals, etc.  you're starting to get the picture...anything really cute
or classy.
    However, go slow and be subtle about the gal you like.  That is, 
don't single her out for a bouquet.  Send all the gals flowers, only
just be more selective about the flowers you present to your chosen
target.  You'll seem more magnanimous that way and be less likely
mistaken for a fatal attraction dude.
    Finally, when you plan not to see her for a while, like when you're
on a business trip, send email or better yet, send a colourful
postcard. 

4. Posture.  You can always seem to spot the kachos, buchos, shachos,
and head honchos.  They walk proud.  Heads up, back straight, spittin'
them gobs on the sidewalk for us little peons to walk all over.  If
you're wondering why 30% of the OL's are doin' your department manager
even though he's old, decrepit, married and spits gobs, hey it ain't
because of the money.  He ain't making enough to support 3 gals.  No
way.  It's his strut.  Posture dude.  Real man stuff.  It don't matter
if he's short either.  Don't shuffle when you walk.  You aren't inside
the house wearing your socks and walking on a slippery floor.  Avoid
walking pigeon toed.  That's for the girls to do because they kneel a
lot.  And stop looking down on the ground to avoid the spit gobs.  If
you must look, look farther down the street.  Think to yourself..."I'm a
kick-butt samurai" while you walk. :-)

5. Chivalry.  Okay, pretty standard stuff.  Open doors for the ladies.
Pull out there chairs for them at the dinner table.  Walk on the outside
when walking on the sidewalk so when a car comes by and runs over a
puddle, you'll block the splash.  Always offer to walk a lady back to
her aparto even if it's out of your way.  And never forget to comment
how nice she looks, even if you have to lie.
      When shopping, be cheerful and vibrant even when its been the 10th
store and 5 hours.  Don't forget the the running commentary on her
selections.  Try to give honest but kind opinions of her selections.
Learn a little shop talk about clothes and accessories so you can comment
on the virtues of one type of stitching over another, or why the seam on 
this handbag isn't as good as on the other *less* expensive one.  A lady
will really cherish a guy who can shop *with* her.
     Okay, she gets drunk or ill once in awhile or breaks a heel on her
shoe.  Japanese ladies walk a lot so it happens!  Really!  If you're
with her, carry her in your arms (yeah, horizontally...you know, like
sleepy beauty style.  Turn on some CAD/CAM action if you need to picture
the geometry).  Yes, the piggy back style is easier and you see a lot of
that, but, c'mon dudes, we're talking chivalry here.  If you ain't no 
Takahanda, I suggest a little workout action to strengthen the legs 
and arms.

6. Karaoke.  Quantity and Quality are required here. Acquire a
repetoire of songs which include currently hot pop, classic enka, 
contemporary vocals, and some foreign (English/Spanish/etc) songs.
Practice makes perfect so buy your own system if your can afford it.
Learn which pitch you can sing in so you can request the pitch
setting prior to the music startup because it's bad karaoke manners to
switch pitch after the music has started.  Learn to breathe, hold
notes, croon, and quivver your voice.  A good series of books to learn
from are the "Karaoke Bible" series.  Shueisha Publishers.  Around Y700
for a soft cover volume with several hundred song lyrics.  Advice and
cues on how to sing and when to breathe are provided.  Available at
Kinokuniya in SF, San Jose and the rest of North America and probably in
Japan too.  If they don't have it, ask them to order it.
       Avoid renting a karaoke box unless you have a party for more
than 4.  Sing songs appropriate for the crowd and not just for her.
For example, if there are ladies present in their late 30's to mid 40's,
then a medley of Yumi Matsutoya, Teresa Teng and Tanimura Shinji seems
appropriate.  If more oyajis are present, then some Yamakawa Yutaka or
Kitajima Saburo or even Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett might be in
order.  Avoid karaoke with pornographic video images.  Low class sleeze.
       Avoid singing the same stuff over and over to the same people.
You'll fall into the jyuu-hachi ban syndrome, always singing just your
favourite songs.  After awhile, the lady starts to think..."oh jeez, the
same old song...(and more than the 18th time!):-)"
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Disclaimer again:  Heck, what do I know?  I'm the biggest BSer east of
the international dateline.  But some of this methodology has been
observed to work.:-)  Your mileage may vary. 

Jaa, James
=======================================================================
James C. Liu |    KARAOKE Addict!     Karaoke: You're the STAR!!!!    |
             |    Wanna go? Need someone who sings worse than you do? |
             |    Know about a cool karaoke bar? send e-mail          |
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