HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Humor (was prejudice)
Date: 16 Dec 1992 05:17:01 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus) writes:

>I guess that I'm of the opinion that puns are clever and seen as such and
>cause no real pain in me when I hear them.  For example, Starknight's puns
>above have no pain in them whatsoever, they are simply a clever use of
>words to get his observation across.  

Exactly right ... and of course the traditional groans of pain which
accompany the utterance of a particularly good pun are purely traditional
- the expected compliment to applaud a well said and timed oratory gem.

Splash!

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ...
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 00:54:38 GMT

>BTW, where are the towels, and other drying paraphenalia (sp.)
>
>						Blake.

   "Hmm. The Folx Room has lots ! "Linda.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: So much for dramatic exits.
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 14:13:56 GMT

In article <1992Dec11.041557.21233@atlantis.uucp> aaron@atlantis.uucp writes:
>There is a bit of an embarrassed cough and Alfvaen shimmers back into
>existence, a look of relief on his face.  "Well, that wasn't very long, was
>it?

   Nope it wasn't... Welcome back !
  Jim.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
Organization: Sophomore, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 09:35:06 -0500 
From: Mark Beirne Lively <ml5a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Utopiae (Was: Amanda wants to be a Kesh)
 <Dec13.051252.71586@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU> <1992Dec13.163832.640@news.columbia.edu> <sf=0O1q00awSI2PEUt@andrew.cmu.edu>
	<1992Dec14.154814.19005@e2big.mko.dec.com>

Excerpts from netnews.alt.callahans: 14-Dec-92 Re: Utopiae (Was: Amanda
wa.. Phillip E lujan@maximo.e (1767)

> "Damn," says Starknight.  "I remember the movie well enough; it's titled
> WarGames.  As for s/h/it's names, one of them was Joshua, and the other was...
> Damn, damn, damn!  I can't remember it, but it was a military acronym...
> Close enough, Bear?"


	I geuss.  You are the closest out of the 2 entries so far.  adn the
real name of the computer was W.O.P.R. pronounced whopper.  A drink for
the Starknight.

--
The writers are gifted.  The story has been lifted -Tiny Toons
Reality is a mild halucinogen and I think its starting to wear off.-Me
ML5A@andrew.cmu.edu Bear aka the Lord High Rulebender
From: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Merlinvin finishes delurking
Date: 17 Dec 92 19:11:04 GMT
Reply-To: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation

In article <1992Dec17.144233.23817@atlantis.uucp>, aaron@atlantis.uucp writes:
|> Edmund Schweppe (eschwepp@butyng.bu.edu) wrote:
|> : Feeling in his pocket, he pulls out a stack of ones and goes to the bar,
|> : with every intention of buying the next round - but he remembers what
|> : happens to those unwise enough to claim that the next round is on them.
|> : After some thought, he whispers in Mike's ear; Mike grins and produces a
|> : tray containing a can of something, covered with a big cloth napkin.
|> : Merlinvin takes the tray and sets it down in the middle of the room.
|> : Returning to the bar for a beer, he goes back to the tray and pulls the
|> : napkin off with a flourish, revealing a can of diet cola.
|> : 
|> : "Friends", calls Merlinvin, "the next round goes... on my Tab!"
|> 
|> "Does that mean everybody get's a Schweppe's?" Alfvaen says.
				     ^^^^^^^^^^
				      Something must be ale-ing Alfvaen...
					Starknight (never one to pass up a
						    cheap pun)
|> 
|> -- 
|> ---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
|> "I never gave it a thought, I never thought I should think                       I would go along with anyone and anything"  --Rupert Hine
|> Current Album--Grapes of Wrath:September Bowl of Green
|> Current Read--Michael Coney:Charisma
|> 

-------------------
Sean Roberts, aka Starknight
Still trying to find an appropriate .sig for alt.callahans
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk (Mary Branscombe)
Subject: Re: Fare-thee-wells
Reply-To: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 15:50:00 +0000


Hey Mishael!
this is a very different place to what it was when I was first in 
(2/3 years back) - but you're right, it's the Place and it's a good 
Place to be. Hope you stick around and have a good Christmas (if you 
have email feed, there are addresses to post messages to and they 
show up here..... Nick Chopper has a full list, I only have UK 
adresses.
hugs?
Mary Merritail
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| Organisation: Me? You're joking, right?   |maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk |
|                                           |maryb@cix.compulink.uucp  |
|I know I type "teh" for "the" My fingers have their own accent ;-)    |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Utopiae (Was: Amanda wants to be a Kesh)
Date: 13 Dec 92 21:16:59 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <1getmcINNr3q@gap.caltech.edu> ajm@wag.caltech.edu (Abner J. Mintz) writes:
>Big Al asks ...
>>"SO," Those who had fallen asleep suddenly snap awake, their note-taking 
>>instincts coming back, "Call For Discussion: Favorite Mythological areas and
>>cultures.  Where, Who, What.  Give virtues.  For extra credit, create your
>>OWN area."
>
>Tizrak reverts back to Abner.  "Now, if I had a choice, that's where I'd be! 
>A civilization with no hunger (all the lightning you can eat!), no
>power-hungry idiots messing up the works (well, none of us anyway ... other
>societies may have their own problems ...), no land to fight over, an
>infinite number of universes to explore, and even if you die in one of them,
>you just reform on your own plane!  Just about perfect ..."

"Hmmm."  he thinks, "Sounds Vaugly like the NotFood."

By way of explination, he adds: "NotFood are a noncellular organic intellegence,
in other words, a slime mold.  A BIG slime mold (about 10 acres on the average)
In the natural state, they spend all their time lying around as a mat.          
Communications with each other go through hooked-up cytoplasm streams.  (The
streams serve as neurons, sorta).  Basically they THINK to each other.  Usually
about useless stuff.  No economy, No symbology (The name NotFood comes from
the descriptor: 'Not Food, but still funn to meet 'cause you can swap genes
and thoughts that way.'

"They CAN be immortal if they want to, but most of them aren't.

"So far I have created exactly one NF character. Who spends all his time on a 
local bbs.  He gets along pretty well.  I may have to do some fine tuning,
though."

Big Al.  Not Exactly Food, but More Nutricious Than A Rock.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: bwinton@leibniz.uwaterloo.ca ()
Subject: Re: Utopiae (Was: Amanda wants to be a Kesh)
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 23:31:18 GMT

"If you do, Big Al, be sure to save a glass for me, God knows I need some 'ade' with my final exams" says Blake, as he attempts (and fails) to dodge the peanuts.

"I wonder, Dalek, If a few modifications to your weapon arm could turn it
into a low-powered, and highly useful peanut projector, for all of the punsters
in your life.  I assume you could use the suction arm for the consumption of 
intoxicating potables."

								.ekalB
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Re: On shoes and ships and sealing wax, and other sundry things
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 04:59:28 GMT

Danger Mouse waves at Nicarra's grin, sitting Cheshire-cat-like by the
bar. "Happy Christmas and safe journey home."

An echo of some of her words float across the room:
>"A few points that I would like to make, while I have your attention.  One 
>is that someone else can host the annual (well, sort of annual) New Year 
>Pizza Party.  The VPM is going to be two years old, and the party does seem 
>to be a good thing for those who stay around computers between Christmas 
>and mid-January."

DM suggests, "I think the host should be an old-timer - someone who has
been here for both previous New Year Pizza Parties. That rules me out,
since I was only here for the last one. Are any old-timers ready to
step into Nicarra's shoes for this occasion? If nobody who has been
around here longer than I have volunteers, I guess I can have a go at
it."

- Danger Mouse.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: RIP
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 02:33:45 GMT

>smile, "I almost envy you, even while I don't know if I'd have the courage
>or the stomach to do what you did.  I know that my friendship with Robert
>and Sally wasn't nearly that close.  And my pain is merely an echo of
>yours.  Mine, though, is underlined with 'why?' when yours seems 
>underlined with 'peace'."

>For a moment, she stands, simply watching the flames in the fireplace.
>She then drinks down the guiness, smoothy, without hurry, savoring the
>taste and intensity of it.  A smooth, overhand delivery, and the glass
>shatters in the fireplace. 

>"To grief,
> for it eventually leads to peace."

kitten, tears streaming down her face, sends her glass after liralen's
and holds  out her arms for a hug...

"one of the young men who works for me is going to his third funeral
this semester...he is from east st. louis, and black...he came away
to college and his friends stayed behind...and they are dying
violently. 

why?  such a waste.

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"love is the wild card of existance"
                          rita mae brown

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Subject: Re: Dalek has entered the building
Reply-To: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 15:27:03 GMT

In article <1992Dec14.222954.18495@husc3.harvard.edu>, djsnyder@husc10.harvard.edu (David Snyder) writes:
|> In article <92349.122250PJCHC@CUNYVM.BITNET> PJCHC@CUNYVM.BITNET (Philip J. Comins) writes:
|> >
|> >    Philip approaches the box and Kitten, the small hint of a smile on his
|> >face. "My dear Kitten," Philip chuckles, "as everyone knows, you can't pet a
|> >Dalek, or jump into his lap (he has no lap to jump into, only mutated body
|> >parts. No offense, pal ...)  If you want to make him happy, let's plug him
|> >into an electronic pleasure stimulator. By the way, friend Dalek, you'll have
|> >to remove that weapon-arm of yours if you want to stay here for any length of
|> >time.
|> 
|> The Dalek will be more than happy to remove his weapon arm, but will require
|> some assistance as his other manipulator isn't up to the task.
|> However, as having only his suction arm and eye stalk makes him feel
|> unbalanced, he will require a new appendage.  He kindly (kindly for a 
|> Dalek that is) asks for suggestions that fit the spirit of the Place.
|> 
|> The Dalek
|> 

"Hmmm..."  Starknight muses for a moment (he seems to be doing a lot of that
lately).  "I've got an idea, if Mike doesn't mind.  How about a drink mixer?
Since you don't drink, you could help Mike out by circulating around the room,
kind of like a cyborg waitress... waiter... waitcreature!  (Yeah, we gotta be
interspecies politically correct, especially in Callahan's.)"

"Any comments?"
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: me_s420@ceres (Chris Welch)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: UK AttoSpace
Date: 18 Dec 1992 13:14:11 GMT
Organization: Kingston University
NNTP-Posting-Host: ceres.kingston.ac.uk
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

The Urban Spaceman (or The Urban Space, as Wumpus' mail program has taken to
calling him ) materialises.

"Greetings one and all. Hope the run up to Christmas or equivalent is going
 fairly well. I just thought I would pop in in a describe yesterdays UK
 AttoSpace. This was taking advantage of the fact that Kateri was in the UK
 for about ten days. 

 Originally the plan was for Kateri, myself and MonTemplar to get together for
 a few hours yesterday evening. Unfortunately the plan was thrown into some 
 disarray by some misinformation. 

 When I phoned Kateri the evening before to confirm the meeting, the people 
 she was staying with told me that she was visiting friends in Bath (i.e. Simon
 and Mary) and would not be back for a few days. To cut a long story short, by
 the time I found out that this was not the case, it was four hours before we 
 were due to meet and I couldn't contact MonTemplar to tell him that things 
 were back on.

 At the meeting point (sout side of Nelson's column), life was further confused
 by the fact that I had forgotten my black hat with the alt.callahans notice 
 in the hatband, that I was ten minutes late (trains) and that Kateri was
 around 35 minutes late (more trains). Nevertheless and despite all this, we 
 did finally manage to identify each other. I ascribe this purely to the magic
 of The Place.

 We spent about two hours wandering around the West End (the weather was 
 very warm for a December), talking about varied subjects, visiting the 
 occasional pub for food and drink (and where Kateri sang me her Fairy Story 
 song which I had missed on the net) and locating the theatre where she
 was going to see the complete plays of Shakespeare in only two and a half
 hours (don't ask me how they do this !). We parted outside the theatre with
 a traditional Callahan's hug. 
 

--
           |                      Chris Welch - The Urban Spaceman     
_______   | |   _______                me_s420@uk.ac.kingston
| ooo |  /| |\  | ooo |      
| ooo | |/ ^ \| | ooo |  "Second star on the right, straight on till morning."
From: HC61@lafibm.lafayette.edu (HC61000)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Thank ye kindly, sah
Date: 19 Dec 92 22:23:17 GMT
Organization: Lafayette College
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <1992Dec18.222904.16793@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mwasson@nyx.cs.du.edu (mike wasson) writes:
[Deleted, Gecko-boy's comments on recent postings
>Gecko-boy offers his hand in welcome. (Well, not literally ... he's
>not the Dalek or anything. :-))
>"Chris, welcome to Callahans. Hmmm .... AADA .... autodueler?"
>
>"And of *course* you can get a diet, caffeine free coke ... all drugs
>are strictly optional here. In fact, let me be the first to buy you a
>drink."
>
Thank you kindly for the offer, and allow me to return the favor.
Yes, I am an avid autodueler, specializing in ramhovercrafts (not
completely legal, but lots of fun.) I was rather suprised there is no
*.*.GURPS or .Illuminati on internet (That I can find, anyway) I am also
a great proponent of Twain, Rogers, RAH, and Robinson, so I was most
pleased to find this newsgroup.

To Humanity and Brother(sister)hood!  <Thunk>
From: kf8nh@kf8nh.wariat.org (Brandon S. Allbery)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Hats
Date: 18 Dec 92 22:58:07 GMT
Reply-To: "Brandon S. Allbery" <kf8nh@kf8nh.wariat.org>
Organization: The NutHouse

On 17 Dec 92 21:32:38 GMT, "Alaric Tekiahyn" <alaric@sti.com> wrote:
> In article <1gqkhtINNq3g@phakt.usc.edu>, pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler) writes:
> ] In article <1992Dec17.081407.11568@midway.uchicago.edu> mss2@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
> ] >	"Now I'm really finished.  So what, if anything, are the rest
> ] >of you wearing on your heads?"
> ] 
> ] The fedora's the same; it too could use a
> ] cleaning and blocking.
> ] "This is me-RL."
> 
> "I'm not a big hat wearer," he says.
> "Nevertheless, I currently own..."  [quick mental count]  "...seven hats.
>  In order of the frequency in which I wear them, they are...

I have several baseball caps for various special events, etc.  But I don't
wear them much; not because hats seem to be in decline in general but
because I don't like to wear hats.  Not even winter hats to keep my ears
warm!

++Brandon
-- 
Brandon S. Allbery		NOTE NEW ADDRESS!!! --> kf8nh@kf8nh.wariat.org
From: S.S.B.Glover@bradford.ac.uk (SSB GLOVER)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Home on Lagrange
Date: 15 Dec 92 00:40:46 GMT
Organization: University of Bradford, UK
Originator: 92909131@muser

In article <1fbvl9INNnf2@escargot.xx.rmit.OZ.AU> s903040@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU (Christopher Francis Anderson) writes:

>ThunderKat starts thinking about a song he's heard that sounds a lot like that:
>
>//Oh, give me a locus
>  Where the gravitons focus
>  And the three body problem is solved
>  Where the microwaves play
>  Down at three degrees K
>  And the cold virus never evolved//
>
>//There's a heap more to go, but I can't remember it all.
>
>//Sound familiar, anyone?//

Chorus: Home, Home on Lagrange
Where the space debris always collects
It's the home, so it seems,
Of two of man's greatest dreams
Free power and zero gee sex
 
(there's more -- ends up with "moving next week to L 4")

Steve Glover: can't toast... nothing safe to drink to at the moment
From: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: greetings and subroutines
Date: 18 Dec 92 16:19:55 GMT
Reply-To: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation

"Ooops", says Starknight.  "I completely missed the fact that DM was saying
the temp. was 9 C *below* the normal temp.  He's right, I'm wrong, and I'll
shout him a drink for that..."

------------------
Inconsistency is the hobgoblin of those with no minds...
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jason)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Danger Room
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Date: 15 Dec 1992 01:03:46 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aaa.uoregon.edu

In article <1gj5j1INN581@matt.ksu.ksu.edu>, noj@matt.ksu.ksu.edu (Jonathan
E Miles) wrote:
> 
> li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus) writes:
> 
> 
> >In article <JBrandt-131292111540@aaa.uoregon.edu> Jay Brandt wrote:
> 
> >> Liralen and I, and a few others, also use it for martial arts workouts and
> >> combat training.  Argent is a positively incredible automated training
> >> droid. Sort of the ultimate sensi." He smiles at Liralen. "I may take you
> >> up on that as soon as I am done with our chess game. I could use a good
> >> workout. I've been inactive too long."
> 
> At this, Itosu perks up..."A martial arts training room?  Just what I've been
> looking for...does he do point sparring, I'm not real used to full-contact."
> 
> He grins.."Other than street fighting, that is, and there's a BIG difference!"
> 
> >At Ecko's study of Argent, Liralen only smiles to see someone appreciate
> >the gift given to her with true understanding of what it is.  "Jilara gave
> >it to me.  Somewhat based on the Terminator 2 technology, but programmed
> >only to teach.  As Jason said, 'the ultimate sensei.'"
> 
> "VERY interesting...I'll have to check it out...I need the practice."

Jason smiles at Itosu the ogre. "Hai, Itosu-san! Argent can practice any
style, at any level. But I think what Liralen and I have in mind right now
is a lot closer to an all-out street fight than the civilized contests of
the dojo."
From: amanda@wam.umd.edu (Me again)
Subject: Re: Newbies on the March
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 21:25:23 GMT

In article <STEVE.92Dec9132657@styx.crc.ricoh.COM> steve@crc.ricoh.COM (Stephen R. Savitzky) writes:
>"Ever since I first learned about it I've been using the ANSI numeric
>format for dates," says the Mandelbear.  "It's yymmdd, so that today
>is 921209.  

Funny... i started using that format for diary/notes right *before* i heard
about it....

amanda@wam.umd.edu                <grin>                       Amanda Babcock
From: randolph@cognito.ebay.Sun.COM (Randolph Fritz)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: second thoughts about a friendship
Date: 17 Dec 92 10:11:53
Organization: St. Dismas Infirmary for the Incurably Informed
	<1gr22vINNf87@newsman.csu.murdoch.edu.au>
	<1gpgmrINNcg0@gap.caltech.edu>
	<1992Dec17.100923.14047@midway.uchicago.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: cognito.ebay.sun.com
In-reply-to: mss2@kimbark.uchicago.edu's message of Thu, 17 Dec 1992 10:09:23 GMT

It's like being a *real* Zen master.  If you meet the Buddha in the
road, kill him!

__Randolph Fritz  sun!cognito.ebay!randolph || randolph@ebay.sun.com
 (2 days & counting)

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: amanda@wam.umd.edu (Me again)
Subject: Re: Cyber (was Introduction was Eh?)
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 04:59:07 GMT

Wow, tesseracts... to think i just gave a presentation on the subject....

<grin>

-(One of the) Amanda(s)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: Greetings....
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 19:56:12 GMT

In article <ice9.2b7t@hotcity.COM> ice9@hotcity.COM (Jeremy Dragt) writes:
>nothing would be crueller then a string of donut puns

Though, I'd imagine some of them could have a rather nice twist without
frittering away too much time or being too old-fashioned or plain. 

-- 
Phyllis Rostykus     | "... and how you feel can make it real  | - _US_
aka Liralen Li       | Real as anything you've seen            |   Peter
li@inigo.Data-IO.com | Get a life with this dreamer's dream."  |   Gabriel
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Introduction
Date: 18 Dec 1992 18:08:33 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan) writes:

>|>   "Hmm. Thats odd, I haven't been able to figure out weather ornot it was
>							^^^^^^^
>							Having a bad spell of
>							whether, DJ?
>								Starknight
>|>   Star-knight or Stark-night either... Inquiring minds and all that... " DJ.

"Oof!"  Splash grabs the nearest bowl of peanuts and hurls it violently
towards Starknight.  "That's actually a sign of respect for your
linguistic abilities around here," Splash giggles.  "Welcome to the Place"


--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans