From: gblock@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Gregory R Block)
Subject: Re: Heh heh (was Re: Huh? (was Re: Hah! (was Re: Huh?)))
Organization: University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 07:48:28 GMT

Thanks for the spelling lesson, you zipper-faced, but-kissing,
rot-brained, lifeless excuse for roadkill.  It's good to see your
secretarial skills giving you such help.  It must be all the years of
wearing women's clothing wearing off on you.  It wasn't your fault
that you didn't know that your dress wouldn't work like a parachute
when you jumped off of a 50-story building head first and did
negligible damage to your hollow cranium.

The green slime mould inhabiting the back of your throat must have
regurgitated most of those corrections, I'm sure, it's well beyond
your puny intellect to figure out something so cynical.  Your breath
could peel the paint from a house and still have enough force to cause
some serious damage to the ozone layer.  Small animals scurry in fear
of your bestial habits, and the sheep don't even sleep at night
anymore.  They still remember your last visit to Scotland, where their
bleating could be heard even to the white cliffs of Dover.

I don't have nearly enough staples to join the BLAZEMONGER customer
service department.  Besides, I'm just not good at giving paper cuts.

By the way, calling me "blockhead", you fudge-packing,
schizophrenic, psychologically-stunted, scar-faced, toothless,
unsanitary, illiterate, pen-eating, half-witted, sorry excuse
for a used handful of toilet paper, ranks you in with some of the most
intelligent minds you've ever competed with--mainly Jeff Young, who's
got twelve centuries of evolution on you.

If you walked into the wall with a full erection, you androgenous-
barbie-doll-looking freak of nature, you'd break your nose.

:    home for missing genetic material.  The phrase "mind the gap" must
:    refer to your intellect.

Or your dates, you hermaphroditic little recluse from three mile
island.  It couldn't be possible for that deformed, disfigured,
monstrous, revolting carcass of yours to get any worse.  You'll never
have to worry about death, at this rate, not even the grim reaper can
bear to get within a thousand paces of you.

:    ...and yet another clue about your childhood -
:    The squirrels and hamsters must miss you.

They certainly don't miss you.  After using every hole in their body
as a way to enjoy yourself a little more, even the animals in cartoons
shriek in horror.  The sheep are still scarred from your little
escapades.  You alone are probably responsible for the elongated neck
of what is now known as a giraffe, and I wouldn't be surprised if half
of the extinctions in the world happened because they knew you were
going to be "born", for lack of a better word of that hideous ritual
your mother went through to get you out of her early.


:    Yes.  I am a safe driver.

You're also as ugly as sin, and there's no way that camera could have
possibly fit all of your spineless, quivering mass of protoplasmic
vomit into a picture that size.  An amount of ugliness that great,
shrunk down and concentrated as it would be in that picture, would
burn itself up, taking out half of a continent as a little-known
Quantum particle known as the Gleeon, freed from the protective field
generated by your horrifyingly-mangled body, rips across the fabric of
space, splitting atoms in its wake.

--
(: (: (: (: Have you overdosed on smileys today?  Why NOT!?! :) :) :) :) :)
(: "...and here's Clinton giving the correct spelling of bong-resin..."  :)
(:	gblock@csd4.csd.uwm.edu			Gregory R. Block         :)
(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)