From: wyvern@IASTATE.EDU (Nuno Bettencourt)
Newsgroups: rec.games.netrek
Subject: Oh great Guru... (re: IAborg bulloney)
Keywords: Dum de-dum dum
Date: 1 Oct 92 00:34:58 GMT
Reply-To: wyvern@IASTATE.EDU (Nuno Bettencourt)
Organization: Iowa State University


	Well since we (TOFW) so much flack for beating the whiney Janitors
of Anarchy, I think maybe we deserve a rebuttal? Drop all this subjective
baloney - let's go to the facts to see the ignoramity of JOA. :)
	These quotes are taken from the message board files of that game.
I'm sure you'll love reading them as much as I did. *laugh*

	Well, Here's how they started the game:
 R7->ROM  looking through our usual gang of idiots here for subs.
	Yeah, that can hurt the team a bit more than any borg. Wouldn't you
	say?

 R6->ROM  4,5 are scout bombers
 R6->ROM  3,6 are planet takers
 R6->ROM  7 is ogger... 7 will pick the other ogger
 R6->ROM  The left over is planet taker
	I might say that this strategy was a bit flawed. It isn't usually an
	inflexible team that wins a game my friends....

 R1->ROM  going to bathroom, back in a second 
	To win a game, don't get caught with your pants down!

 R1->ROM  WHO IS READING THIS, respond IMMEDIATELY
 R1->ROM  still haven't heard from 3
 R1->ROM  hello 3?
	Well, R1 did get back, but it seems that R3 had to go to the can too.
	Never really did see many (any?) comments from R3 in the file. Maybe
	He was one of the "usual gang of idiots"?

	And now for an IAborg v1.1 feature!
 R7->ROM  Distress Call from R7:  0% damage, 100% shields, 2 armies!
 R7->ROM  what happened?
 R7->ROM  wouldn't let me beam, and I *was* not being tractored!
	Muahahaha! The "no beam down" feature! It rules!

	Hmm... seems like we need to study R7's intelligence level some
	more...
 R7->ROM  Who the f*ck IS Exodus?  EVERYTHING I've ever heard about him
 R7->ROM  says he couldn't play worth sh!t.
	Well, his team DID beat you. now you've learned! :)
 R7->ROM  Have tractor beams been f*cking turned OFF HERE???
	Actually, I think that feature is in IAborg v1.2. You might be mistaken
 R7->ROM  NOTHING is hitting these bastards.
	Well, what can we say, we dodge.
 R7->ROM  FOUR TORPS w/SHIELDS DOWN, he lives.  One and a phaser, I die.
	..another feature of our borg.
 R7->ROM  blown up by a goddamn SCOUT while uncloaking.
 R7->ROM  f*ck, why did he have to be in an un-oggable SCOUT?
	Guru forgot to add this to his list of IAborg v1.1 features.
 R7->ROM  does the home team get a f*cking 100 Shield Bonus, or something??????
	Oops! This too!
 R7->ROM  My GOD, I killed a carrier.  Stop the presses.
	*cheer* Good job 7!
 R7->ROM  Kc MUST know me from somewhere, I can't lay a torp ON him.
	Yeah, that's the IAborg feature: "remembers-past-players-and-
	dodges-their-torps-effectively" feature.
 R7->ROM  I wonder if I cold be any MORE ineffective tonight.
	Hmm... Well, can we get someone to go ask his girlfriend?

 R1->ROM  who wants to be third sc bomber?
	Now THERE'S an idea! We can use HIM for kills too!
	I've never seen more clueless sc bombers than R4 and R5. They were
	handy tho; need a kill, ogg them. They never watch their gal map and
	you can sneak in quite easily to kill them. Worked for me!

 R8->ROM  whereis everyone?? When theyre entire team is at reg, you should
 R8->ROM  be there too!
	Ooops. They went to the bathroom. They're all in there with R1
	I believe....

 R7->ROM  I have never seen ANYONE better at hitting cloakers in THREE YEARS
 R7->ROM  of playing netrek.
	OH! If R7 says it, I guess he's a pretty clueful player to trust.
	When HE says we were using borgs, I think we should all believe him.
	Don't you think so too?

 R8->ROM  something is terribly wrong here...
	Well, I might admit, R8 has some clue, but he could never quite
	figure out what was wrong. Maybe your team sucks?

	And then there's good ol' R1:
 R1->ROM  SH!T GUYS
	When the goin' get's tough; JOA goes back to the bathroom!

 R7->ROM  oh, CHRIST, this lab's gonna close at 10...
	Odd ain't it? The game is timed to 2 hours, and you should
	actually plan for that!

 R7->ROM  borgs.  no f*cking question at all.  borgs.
	Hmm....
 R7->ROM  My steering feels like it's in molasses.
	Mama always told you you shouldn't eat at the term.
 R7->ROM  Where are my torps?  That's all I want to know.  
	It might be an IAborg feature, or maybe those torps are stuck
	in the molasses?
 R7->ROM  Two torps while holding 't'.  This is ridiculous.
	...yeah, probably stuck in the molasses. *ponder*

	For another look at that Conquer list:
  The Klingons:
           Ed Grimly (Kb) with 9 planets and 69 armies.
               zoned (Kc) with 9 planets and 64 armies.
          The Exodus (K0) with 8 planets and 47 armies.
             griffon (K6) with 5 planets and 31 armies.
              Wyvern (K2) with 3 planets and 78 armies.
             Cthulhu (Kd) with 0 planets and 163 armies.
         Coinspinner (Ke) with 2 planets and 10 armies.
  The Romulans:
                Guru (R8) with 21 planets and 132 armies.
             Gandalf (R1) with 11 planets and 66 armies.
           R. Blaine (R4) with 2 planets and 140 armies.
     VideoSex Asylum (R5) with 0 planets and 186 armies.
              marcus (Ra) with 2 planets and 35 armies.
             Hagbard (R3) with 1 planets and 13 armies.
              Madman (Rf) with 1 planets and 6 armies.

	Now, I'm just curious as to why the general Netrek public is
listening to this whiney group of morons. Can anyone think of ANY other
reason why they might have lost? Possibly because they spent too much
time typing moronic messages? Maybe they had a bit more lag? Maybe their
team is *gasp* ACTUALLY WORSE??!?!?!?!?
	Or maybe we were using borgs?

		THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*--*
Wyvern

p.s. to Guru: The torps don't follow the path of a hyperbola. They follow
	the path designated by the function x^2 + (5*x)^(3/4)


	 


	
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