HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: twpierce@unix.amherst.edu (Tim Pierce)
Subject: Re: Mark Brader Posts!  (Was: Re: Amusing Signs)
Organization: Elitist Usenet Administrators, Turkey Division
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 14:16:00 GMT

In article <BzG610.D1L@polaris.async.vt.edu> jfurr@polaris.async.vt.edu (Joel K. Furr) writes:

>I guess I jumped to the conclusion that
>people would follow my train of thought.

If your train of thought hadn't decoupled at the last station, it
would be much easier to do so.

-- 
____ Tim Pierce                / 
\  / twpierce@unix.amherst.edu /               Rocks say goodbye.
 \/ (BITnet: TWPIERCE@AMHERST) / 
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
From: phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson)
Subject: Re: Sex, the Final Frontier?
Organization: Famed Parquet Floor
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 01:54:39 GMT

In article <lj05n6INNago@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> trelford@trelford.Eng.Sun.COM (Trelford Pinkerton) writes:
>
>First, what is the etiquette concerning the use of the holodeck?

I'm also curious about the etiquette concerning the use of LCDR Data.  Look
at his qualifications!  He is:

1.  "Programmed for several means of pleasuring", as Lt. Yar discovered in
    "The Naked Now".

2.  Curious to the point of obsession about human feelings and foibles.

3.  Unlikely to have strong preferences about gender, species, or technique.

4.  Unlikely to fall in love and spoil everything.

5.  Incapable of fathering children or carrying disease -- He might leave
    a few cc of 20W-50 in an inopportune spot, but nothing worse.

6.  Incapable of getting tired, and able to follow any suggestions about
    timing.

There are about 1,000 people on the TNG Enterprise, most of whom are single
(if that still matters) and almost all of whom are attractive, especially
the endless supply of chesty female ensigns.  How does Data get any spare
time for his cat?

Phil "I fail to understand the purpose of this leather contrivance" Gustafson
-- 
|play: phil@rahul.net
|work: (Under Construction)              | Phil Gustafson 408-286-1749      |
|         Opinions outside attributed material are mine alone.              |
|        Satirical matter is not necessarily identified as such.            |
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31240 ba.politics:7736 ca.politics:10345 talk.politics.misc:64364
From: mpolen@suntory.mti.sgi.com (Mike Polen)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,ba.politics,ca.politics,talk.politics.misc
Subject: Re: absentee ballots
Date: 15 Dec 1992 17:37:49 GMT
Organization: Mips Technologies, Inc.
Distribution: world
Reply-To: mpolen@suntory.mti.sgi.com (Mike Polen)
NNTP-Posting-Host: suntory.mti.sgi.com

Eric J. Friedman) writes:
|> 
|> I've often heard people say that absentee ballots 
|> (specifically for the last election)
|> are only counted if the vote is close enough.
|> 
|> So if I voted in the last election as an absentee, was my vote 
|> counted and when (before or after the results came out)?
|> 
|> Is this fact or fiction?
|> 
Probably depends on the precinct.  In most, if you listen to the election
returns, the early postings are the absentee ballots.  They are usually
counted first and reported first.

-- 
These opinions are usually my own, sometimes my dog's,
occasionaly my (grown) children's, never my employer's.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: n9020351@henson.cc.wwu.edu (James Douglas Del-Vecchio)
Subject: Re: FBI list...
Organization: Western Washington University
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 19:09:49 GMT

...
"I just plucked this from rec.pyrotechnics.  Does this scream UL or what?
I'm sure the FBI doesn't have better things to be doing with their time...

"What is this Anarchist's Cookbook?  It sounds VERY interesting.  Can

"I remember a few years ago that's not what people said. They said if you 
ordered it from a bookstore then you were put on a list, and they'd send the
list to FBI for them to check you out.  If you passed, you got the book. :)

	What I heard that it was an IQ test, and you only get the
book if you fail it.
The only "list" you might get on is a mailing list for more 
worthless books.

Jim "I heard the _Agnostic's Cookbook_ shows you how to make 
exposives from banana peels"
Del Vecchio
From: JTCHEW@lbl.gov (Ad absurdum per aspera)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Inventor Profs
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.college
Date: 17 Dec 1992 18:47:30 GMT
Organization: Honest Ernie's Used Ions
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.252.152

> Here, we've got the guy who invented nylon. A reclusive chem prof.
> Local Folklore says he's given every penny of the scads of money he
> makes to the Mormon church.

This isn't a Cliff Kizer tale again?  When I was there in the early
80s, it was "cellophane."  Nylon's invention, by a fellow named 
Caruthers at du Pont, is well documented.

> We've also got the guy who invented the Nicotine patch. Our dean of
> students until this year. His checks just started rolling in (split
> 50-50 with the school). WOW!

Yeaa, Frank Etscorn!  I'm glad to see (if I read-in the implication 
correctly) that he won the legal fight re this issue.  One can only dream 
of this rather formidable psychopharmacology professor joining in AFU's 
various drug threads and authoritatively stomping some of the more 
outrageous nonsense into the ground.  But one would imagine he has 
better things to do.  

Joe "NM Tech '85:  life is weird and then you graduate" Chew
From: jtchew@csa3.lbl.gov (Ad absurdum per aspera)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Pluto (was Re: Mnemonics)
Date: 11 Dec 1992 16:03 PST
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory - Berkeley, CA, USA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.254.198
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    

>And, from what I remember from astronomy, possibly cooked. I can't
>remember the name of the scientist...I'm remembering Lowell, but
>I'm not real confident of that.

Close, in a way.  It was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh in 1929, some
years after his predecessor Lowell concluded that Neptune was not
enough to account for small perturbations observed in the orbit
of Uranus.  (Please, no Uranus jokes -- every single play on that
planet's unfortunate name was already worn out back when gerbils
were still legal in California.  :)  It turned out later that Milton
Humason had been just an ace away from discovering Pluto several 
years previously -- a flaw on a photographic plate happened to be 
right where Pluto would have shown up.

Pluto is, most of the time, the ninth planet out as well as the 
ninth planet in order of discovery.  The cartoon of the solar system 
in a good encyclopedia or a basic astronomy text will show how it's 
sometimes closer to the sun than Neptune much better than I can tell 
it in words.

Tombaugh, incidentally, finished college *after* discovering Pluto. 
(Nice trivia companion for Humason, who started at the observatory
as a janitor.)  As of a few years ago, Tombaugh was an emeritus 
faculty member at New Mexico State University.  He'd be quite old by 
now, if still alive.  Don't think he reads netnews, though.  :)

I highly recommend Asimov's little lives-of-the-saints book, called
something like _Biographical Science Encyclopedia_, for this kind
of stuff.  Great for exploring the rich and fascinating history of
scientific inquiry and winning beer bets at off-campus taverns.

>oh, wait a minute. The LSD thread is somewhere else.

Wrong Pluto.  We're talking planets, not ULs about cartoon stickers.

Joe "Or was that Goofy?  Aren't they the same?" Chew
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf)
Subject: Re: Amusing signs
Organization: /home/ludviga/cindy/.organization
Date: 14 Dec 92 20:36:39

We were in Yosemite National Park (USA) recently, and i got a picture
of a sign at the foot of Lower Yosemite Falls.  The sign warns you
that those big, slippery looking rocks next to the sign are, well,
slippery.  Also warns you that you could die if you try to climb on
them.  Now, here, they would figure that was Darwinism in action, but
i guess in California they're worried about being sued by the
survivors.

And then there are the signs in Western Norway.  Picture this: you've
been driving along on a narrow, curvy road, which is clinging to the
side of a mountain, and all of a sudden you see one of those signs
that warns you there are curves ahead.  (Usually followed soon after
by a sign warning you the road will get narrower.)  These signs are
humorous - until you realize that the meaning is not "Curves Ahead"
but "Curves Which Will Make These Last Ones Seem Like a Picnic Ahead".
Ah, Vestlandet... i should go diving again soon, just to make sure my
body can still produce that kind of adrenalin.

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondheim, Norway


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: rct@fulcrum.co.uk (Richard Taylor)
Subject: Re: Start-a-legend-inc
Organization: Fulcrum Communications
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 09:10:12 GMT

In article <hayesstw.137.723980757@risc1.unisa.ac.za> hayesstw@risc1.unisa.ac.za (Steve Hayes) writes:
>A 31-year-old woman, who is not suffering from an incurable disease, is 
>hoping to get into the Guinness book of records as the first healthy and non-
>existent person to receive over a million business cards.
>
>Anyone willing to participate in this, please e-mail me your business card.
>

NERD.
Regards,
============================================================================
Richard Taylor                  DoD #981                 (rct@fulcrum.co.uk)
   Heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
============================================================================
Fulcrum Communications Ltd., Fordrough Lane, Birmingham, B9 5LD, ENGLAND.


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
From: YANJUNA@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu
Subject: Re: Sex, the Final Frontier?
Organization: Yale University
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 02:35:59 EST

In article <BzDnEp.7yJ@taligent.com>
cep@taligent.com (Christophe Pettus) writes:
 
>
>In article <28014@dog.ee.lbl.gov> TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan) writes:
>>It turns out that there is a huge segment of the trekkie
>>subculture that meets and shares stories where the characters
>>from the old series are in egaged in much racier stories (the
>>one that stuck in her mind was Kirk and Spock's homosexual
>>relationship) than those commonly associated with the series.
>
>Mais oui, this is a pretty significant segment of Trek fandom, although
>my impression is that it is getting lost in the shuffle as New
>Generation fandom overwhelms the old guard; ST:TNG just doesn't inspire
>the kind of imagination, at least not in this way, as the old stuff.
>
>I'm certain that any of the rec.arts.startrek groups would be more than
>happy to elucidate you, in more detail that you could live with.  Then
>again, you're probably trying to avoid that very thing ...
>--
 
   My impression was that this so-called "K/S group" was small, but somewhat
vocal.  Gene Roddenberry wrote a semi-response to these people in his
novelization of Star Trek TMP, where Kirk explicitly states he and Spock
are friends and he is strictly a heterosexual.  (Hell, if you watched TOS,
was there any doubt?)
 
*******************************************************************
 
     I got remote control and a color TV
     I don't change the channels so they must change me.
 
     I need a doctor for my pressure pills
     I nned a lawyer for my medical bills
     I need a banker to finance my home
     I need security to back my loan
 
     I shouldn't bitch
     I shouldn't cry
     I'd start a revolution but I don't have time.
 
          Junsok Yang (YANJUNA@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu)
From: lucio@phyrql.Alt.ZA (Lucio de Re)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Amusing signs
Date: 12 Dec 92 11:49:04 GMT
Reply-To: lucio@proxima.Alt.ZA
Organization: MegaByte Digital Communications

gfowler@javelin.sim.es.com (Gary Fowler) writes:

>One common sign that I have always enjoyed is:

>	Slow
>  Children at Play

>Maybe someone should speed those kids up a bit.

Here in a Johannesburg is a rather amusing sign that reads:

() Stop for
() Yield for
() Go

With the ()s representing the traffic light colours, RED, AMBER and GREEN,
while on the right hand is a single stylised pedestrian figure.

I keep reading a third "for" in the "Go" line!
-- 
Lucio de Re (lucio@phyrql.Alt.ZA)
The supernatural does not exist, but it gives me the creeps...
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Re: Amusing signs
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 18:25:59 EST
Organization: University of Michigan Engineering, Ann Arbor

In article <guest.724539004@cs.wisc.edu> petlock@turing.org writes:
>pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:
>
>>ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering) writes:
>
>>>I noticed some weird street signs last summer when I was in Berlin.  
>>>It was odd, but about one out of every three streets seemed to be
>>>named "Einbahnstrasse."  I have no idea how Berliners find their
>>>way around.  Even stranger, the same thing was true in Naples
>
>>Funny - Dave Barry made _exactly_ the same observation - in the book "Dave
>>Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need".  I was reading it last night to
>>prepare for a trip to the UK.
>
>Would someone please provide a translation of "einbahnstrasse" for the
>german- impaired?

Okay, okay.  It's a joke.  "Einbahnstrasse" is German for "one-way street."

Lest anyone think I'm low enough to get my ideas from Dave Barry's stuff,
the "gee - every other street in Germany seems to be named Einbahnstrasse"
thing is common among Americans who've been stationed in Germany while
in the military, and I heard it first from my mother when my family spent
a couple of days in Berlin in 1970, when I was ten.

Oh, and "Senso Unico" is Italian for "One Way."

Larry "gotta ask my grilfriend what 'one way street' is in Czech" Doering
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Burning Mines
From: derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne)
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 92 00:08:21 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand

In article <DgR=+6B@engin.umich.edu> ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering) writes:
>In article <Bz3osM.AA8@austin.ibm.com> bwilson@austin.ibm.com writes:
>>
>>Now, I have a question about burning mines - I have heard a story about
>>a coal mine that caught fire, and they couldn't put it out so it was sealed
>>off, but still is burning (this has been years now) and it will continue
>>to burn for a few more years.  They say in winter snow will not stay on
>>the ground over the mine, because of the heat, and so you can find it in
>>the winter quite easily.
>>
>>Now I know this doesn't fit the UL style - it didn't happen to anyone in
>>particular (although there might have been people trapped inside who had to
>>be sealed in as well, I don't really recall) but my question is - has anyone
>>else heard this sort of story, and could it really happen?  I know mines can
>>burn, but can they continue to burn for years after being sealed off?
>
>A good example of this is in Centralia, Pennsylvania.  There were a number
>of coal mines under and around the town, and one of them originally caught
>fire 15 or 20 years ago.  

There are many examples of this.  There are a couple in the UK.  Houses near
the path of the fire have noticeable hot spots and have problems due 
to extreme desication of the land the houses are built on.  This causes 
subsidence of the foundations and cracks in the walls etc.

Due to the lack of oxygen the burning is very slow.  It would be more accurate
to describe this as smouldering.  Other related problems occur in the spoil
heaps built up next to mines in the UK.  These contain a lot of organic 
material and coal.  They generate considerable heat within.  This has caused 
problem when spoil heaps are cleared.  As the top layers are removed and the 
hot material exposed to air they have been known to burst into flames.

My favorite smouldering bio-stuff story is about a cave in Central America 
full of Giant Ground Sloth dung.  This was of great scientific importance
due to the extremely well preserved state of the dung and sloth remains.

Someone in a film crew accidentally set fire to the dung and (as far as I 
know) it smoulders still!


-- 
Derek Tearne.   --   derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz   --    Fujitsu New Zealand   -- 
 _______
 _______} This is a Usenet condom<tm>.  Roll the condom over the .signature 
	  file before posting to protect yourself from .sig retro-virii
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: pv@gagme.chi.il.us (Paul Vader)
Subject: Re: Marilyn vos Savant is 'Cecil Adams' 
Summary: Unca Cecil
Originator: pv@gagme
Organization: Inline Software Creations
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 23:59:32 GMT

artn@bert.eecs.uic.edu (Stephan Meyers) writes:
>	I have what may be the final statement WRT who is Cecil Adams.
>My boss is on a committee call In'tuit, which is concerned with outsider
>art, and also on this committee is one Bob Roth, the editor-in-chief,
>(I believe) owner and founder of the Chicago Reader.  Is the Reader the
>first paper to carry Cecil?  Someone can check up on that.

I wasn't aware that this was a deep dark secret. It's more of a running
joke. "Cecil Adams" is regularly asked for interviews, and he is never
able to show up. A guy named Ed Zotti always appears in his place, with
some silly excuse or other. Mr. Zotti talks pretty much like Unca Cecil
writes, so I don't think you need Sherlock Holmes to come to the proper
conclusion. The only reason people are confused about this is that Ed
apparently likes the joke and doesn't want it killed off. 

This is only my theory after reading "The Straight Dope" for more than
10 years. BTW, The column started in the Chicago Weekly Reader and was later
syndicated. Often it is the only thing I read in the paper other than
Zippy. PV

P.S. I think the writing is far too consistent to be written by more than
     one person, unless they have a ruthless editor. I suppose that might
     be possible, but I can't imagine advice columnists doing this 
     considering the usual size of their egos.

P.P.S. WBEZ (FM 91.5) has Ed Zotti on about once a month on Mara Tapp's
       show. 
-- 
Paul Vader            systems analyst, hell's cavenewt, rollerblader,
pv@gagme.chi.il.us    FOAF, smartass liberal democrat
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31293 rec.arts.startrek.misc:12710
From: trevor@advent.co.uk (Trevor Pretty)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: Re: Mnemonics
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:18:05 GMT
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban
Organization: Advent Imaging Ltd.,Henley,England


rec.arts.startrek.misc  Mnemonics????

Chirstmas must be comming and the world is getting in party mood.

Trevor
From: pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Montykins)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: The El (Was: Re: Conductivity of water <plus a story from Uncle Dave>)
Date: 20 Dec 92 22:10:04 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <BzKoCC.CKp@rahul.net>, phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson) writes:
>>
>>I think I got most of them, saving the net hundreds if not thousands of zlotys.
>>
>You missed "El Camino Real Street".
>

And that favorite of Southern Californian Weather-Folks "The El
Nino".

 -Paul "Monty" Ashley
   (The El Nino is coming! The El Nino is coming! Run for your
lives!)
-- 
All just the opinions of pashley@sdcc13.ucsd.edu.
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.college:3292 alt.politics.correct:5990
From: glazier@isr.harvard.edu (Andrew Baker Glazier)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college,alt.politics.correct
Subject: DIE!
Date: 15 Dec 92 20:36:10 GMT
Organization: Harvard University, Cambridge, MA

>###############################################################################
># ARE YOU OPEN MINDED OR ARE YOU JUST ANOTHER IDIOT?  # THE ECOLOGY IS DOOMED #
>####################################################### UNLESS WE GIVE TREES  #
># RECYCLE IT ALL OR YOU WILL KILL US ALL # VOTE EARTH # FISH & BIRDS THE VOTE #
>###############################################################################
 
Die, you pseudo-environmentalist ecologically fashionable preaching 
sycophant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- 
"A horse! A horse! Somebody give me a horse, man, because|glazier@ 
I come to bury this dirtball, not to praise him. Whaddya |harvard.isr.edu
think I am? Whether it's nobler for the mind to make people suffer with all
these totally outrageous arrows arrows for a fortune, or what!" -- D.R.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: stangel@cs.uiuc.edu (Mike Stangel)
Subject: NI3
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 18:10:09 GMT

A while ago (perhaps a year?) someone posted a recipe for making
Nitrogen Tri-Iodide.  (At lease, I'm pretty sure that's what it
was -- the brown crystals; many of you know what I'm talking about)
Does anyone still have that?  Wanna repost it?

Mike
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college
From: bwalts@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Brandon Walts)
Subject: Re: NI3
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 18:19:13 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

     [Lots and lots of recepies for NI3, Ag fulminate, etc. and suggestions
     for their use deleted]
>
>            1. Pack the wet precipitate into keyholes. When it
                                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
					 NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do this!!!!
					 A freind of mine had this done
					 to him once.  He inserted his key
					 into the keyhole and it was
					 shot out with enough force to
					 imbed it into the wall opposite
					 the door.  By imbed I meen he 
					 needed pliers to get it out.
					 Had he been standing in front 
					 of his doorknob instead
					 of beside it, he would have been
					 severely injured.
					 This can be fun stuff, just
					 use common sense- don't 
					 place it where it has any possibility
					 of launching *anything*.
>dries......don't                
>               be around
            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^              
	    good advice
>
>            2. Sprinkle damp powdered precipitate on a dance floor when it 
>               dries, it will crackle when walked on. But be sure to make sure 
>               there are no chunks, as they will severely screw somebody up.
>
>            3. SMALL (size of a BB, experiment here, as your purity may vary)
>               chunks inside drawers, etc.
>
>Now, most of you probably don't have welding rigs and you may be
>wondering how to get small quantites of acetylene. Chemists may be
>wondering why I specified that the AgNO3 solution be made up warm. Well,
>if you can't find acetelene gas, go to an outdoor store. Ask for miner's
>lamp carbide (CaC2, calcium carbide.) Once you have your carbide and
>your AgNO3 sol'n, you can drop little pieces of carbide into the sol'n.
>the carbide will react with the water in the sol'n, producing acetylene
>and a slightly soluble calcium salt. If you keep the sol'n warm, less of
>the calcium salt will precipitate, and you will get a more pure
>explosive. Some warnings:
>
>            1. Acetylene is ungodly explosive itself. NO OPEN FLAMES. I
>would        
>               suggest a steam plate for this procedure. I would be wary of 
>               electric hot plates, as they sometimes spark inside.
>
>            2. Acetylene is heavier than air, so take necessary precautions.
>
>            3. If you plan to store your explosives for any amount of
>time        
>               before use, store then in a cool, dark place in a brown glass 
>               bottle, under lots of water. Make sure it doesn't dry out.
>
>That's it. Have fun, BE CAREFUL, and don't kill yourself.
>
>-dave, the guy who only represents himself, and not his university
>
>


bwalts@lamar.colostate.edu

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.college