From: forbes@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (Scott Forbes)
Subject: =5= The Last of the Usenet Winter Olympics
Followup-To: rec.humor
Summary: Not that the competition actually *stops* or anything, but...
Keywords: Usenet Winter Olympics coverage -- exclusively on USPN!
Organization: Usenet Sports Programming Network
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 07:36:49 GMT

    \\
   ////     The Usenet Sports Programming Network presents...
  (____)
   \  /
    ||
    ||

                          \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||    \\
                         ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||   ////
   The 1992 Usenet      (____)      (____)      (____)      (____)   
   W I N T E R           \  /        \  /        \  /        \  /
   Olympics         \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||
                   ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||
                  (____)      (____)      (____)      (____)
                   \  /        \  /        \  /        \  /
              \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||
             ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||
            (____)      (____)      (____)      (____)
             \  /        \  /        \  /        \  /
        \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||
       ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||
      (____)      (____)      (____)      (____)
       \  /        \  /        \  /        \  /
  \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||
 ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||
(____)      (____)      (____)      (____)
 \  /        \  /        \  /        \  /
  ||    \\    ||    \\    ||    \\    ||         Closing Ceremonies
  ||   ////   ||   ////   ||   ////   ||

Bryant:
>Once again the Usenet Olympics draw to a close -- the athletes
>burned out, the facilities destroyed -- and we here at USPN give
>you our special thanks for watching with us as we recorded these
>exciting moments in Usenet sporting history.  As always, we look
>forward to the next Olympics in Summer 1993, and hope you'll join
>us then for another thrilling spectacle.
>
>We'd like to leave you with this collection of highlights from
>Usenet Olympic history past and present -- a collection of hopes
>and dreams, and moments to remember in net.history.  Have a safe
>and flame-free holiday season, and we'll see you in '93.



                   _______________________________________________
                  |                                               |
                  |            |              |                   |
The 1992 Usenet   |            | |            | |         [ ]     |
Winter Olympics   |            | |            | |          |  o   |
                  |            | |            | |          |--+-- |
                  |           ._-+---__.     /| |             |   |
brought to you    |          /  /|      '---'  /|             |   |
     by           |  --.    /                   |            / \  |
                  |  'xx'--'                    /  *        /   \ |
 Scott Forbes     |   vv-----------------------'--'               |
                  '_______________________________________________'


 ____________________________________
|                      .__________.  |
|                      |          |  |  With help from
|                      |   ____   |  |
|                      |  ^____^  |  |
|                      '---\\//---'  |  caffeinated soft drinks
|        "Did not!"        \\//      |
|   U       U       U                |  sugar frosted cereal
|  -+-  U  -+-  U  -+-               |
|   |  -+-  |  -+-  |                |  Music Television
|  / \  |  / \  |  / \               |
|      / \     / \                   |  etc.
'____________________________________'

                                                  ________________
Inspiration provided by                          |   . o          |
 Dave Hayes    Chip Salzenberg     Tim Pierce    |    x           |
 Joel Furr     Rich Kulawiec       Jay Maynard   |  -/ '          |
 Francis Uy    Gordon Van Huizen   Laird Nelson  |   |   __       |
 Bill Fenner   Jesper Lauridsen    John Stanley  |      / /  o    |
 Ken Arromdee  Karleenus Schwartz Davis          |      \ \ / o   |
 Samuel Ko     G. Wolfe Woodbury   Michael Nolan |       \ \ / o  |
 Mark Brader   Gene, Dave, Brad, Peter and Kent  |        \ \ /   |
                                                 |         \ \/\  |
 the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy by Wilson & Shea     |          \__/  |
                                                 '________________'

 ____________________
|                    |  Producer.....................Robert Redford
| "En garde!"    |   |  Director..........................Spike Lee
|                |   |
|             O) *   |    Oh, you wanted credits for *this* movie
|           --+--'   |
|             |      |  Equipment..............Allied Office Supply
|            / \     |  Catering by..................Domino's Pizza
|    -------/   \----|  Power provided by.......Commonwealth Edison
|   -----------------|  Mr. Forbes' wardrobe
'____________________'   selected by.....................Gail Stern

                                                      ____________
                                                     |            |
The preceding events are fictional, sort of.         |   |-__-''. |
There is no secret Backbone Cabal trying to gain     |   |  /\  | |
control of the net and drive normal people insane    |   | (  ) | |
with silly Guidelines and anal-retentive policies    |   |-__-''  |
written in stone by a committee of lunatics.         |   |        |
                                                     |            |
                                                     |  . U .     |
I think.                                             |   -*-      |
                                                     |    |       |
                                                     |   / \      |
                                                     '____________'

"Usenet Winter Olympics" copyright (c) 1992 by Scott Forbes.
All rights reserved.  May not be reproduced for profit without
prior consent of the author.  Void where prohibited or taxed.
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