HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Cold Showers
Date: 13 Apr 92 18:35:09 GMT
Article-I.D.: igor.1992Apr13.183509.28258
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, San Francisco

In article <5423@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
(poultry in motion) writes:
>We're all going to die.

I actually find that thought to be comforting.

Imagine trying to keep a resume up-to-date for a couple millenia...

   don
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: tim@comphy.physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Subject: Re: Commercials (again)
Reply-To: tim@comphy.UUCP (Tim Mefford)
Organization: Oregon State University - Univ. Computing Services
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 09:24:08 GMT

In article <1992Apr9.180523.20971@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:

My God, you've struck a nerve.

>o There's a new dog food out called "Kibbles and Bits - Lean".  Now aside 
>  from the peevesomeness of having to put my DOG on a diet, the advertisers
>  thought that it would be really cute to show a dog "leaning" over in one
>
>o Twinkies Light.  'nuff said.
>

Since you've exhibited remakable restraint in ignoring this topic,
I will not.

Lite dog food? Lite dog food?  God forbid you should simply feed
your dog less.  Thank God you'll be saving Checkers from that 
triple bypass surgery dogs are so frequently having to undergo.
I'm anxiously awaiting the advent of vegetarian dog and cat food.
How many hypocritical bunny hugging anemic liberal celery-chomping
bleeding heart animal lovers are buying meat products for Fluffy
and Spot?  Moral objections to animal cruelty? I'd say forcing a 
carnivorous animal to eat soy-products is pretty cruel.  Kind of
a moral dilemma for the greenteeth.

For that matter, lite anything peeves me all to hell.  One commercial
a couple years ago had a jingle about 'Cut it loose tonight with C**rs 
Light.'  Nothing like letting go and having a wild time by ordering lite
beer.  What more contradictory impulses than flouting social control, 
letting down the hair to be free, unrestrained and wild, as compared to
counting calories.

Let me state for the record that any pop, or soda (but not tonic) that 
contains Nutrasweet is vile crap.  It leaves a horrible aftertaste.
Those of you trying to rationalize drinking these products: Yes, I can
taste the difference immediately and I would not want to get used to it.

Margerine, Lite sour cream, lite ranch doritos, frozen yogurt instead of
ice cream, sugar-free anything, and fucking imported water just because of
the people who drink it.

All these things are abominations and they have to go.  No wonder we're
no longer a tough country of tough independent thinking people.


ObBobs: Vila, Barker, Oppenheimer

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      Tim Mefford       | "If you pick up a starving dog and make
                        |  him prosperous, he will not bite you.     
  tim@physics.orst.edu  |  This is the principal difference between
                        |  a dog and a man." - Mark Twain
________________________________________________________________
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Smoking Surrogate
Date: 7 Apr 92 15:47:34 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1935@transfer.stratus.com> scooter@hirgon.hw.stratus.com 
(Scott Free) writes:

>ObPeeve:  I was in a toy store last night, and I would guess that 70% of the
>stock has teenage mutant ninja turtles somewhere on it.  Those fuggin' turtles
>are on everything from bikes to playing cards to Easter baskets!  It's hard
>enough trying to teach my son about when it's okay (and not okay) to carry a 
>weapon, and when it's justifiable to stand up for yourself, without seeing 
>those fuggin' turtles everywhere you turn.  Fuggin' turtles.


It's *always* okay to carry a weapon.  In fact the nice thing about being
armed is that it creates its own justification.  Who's gonna fuck with
you if you're packing?

More seriously, when is it not okay to stand up for yourself?  I'd think
that would be a universal constant.

Now the Turtles, *thats* a peeve!  Enough already!

Speaking of dolls, I read somewhere that someone who was diving under the
Santa Cruz Municipal Pier found a Ken doll on the bottom with his feet in
a couple of tiny concrete blocks.



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: sek@cbnews.cb.att.com (stephanie.e.kearns)
Subject: Feelin' Peevy
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 18:14:36 GMT
Keywords: snow, lousy weather, parking lots, inflatable bunnies


1. Okay, this is April, right?  April showers, tiny plants popping their
heads up through the dirt, birds chirping, and all that other happy 
horseshit....  So why did I drive home last night in a blizzard?
 Why did I wake up this morning to sleet
and snow?  The tiny plants have disappeared under a crust of snow, the
birds are sitting huddled on the tree glaring in through my patio door...
Why must my husband constantly remind me that it was my idea
to move to New England from California because the weather was so
"interesting?"   Interesting ain't the word for it this year.

2.  The security guards here at AT&T have now proclaimed a rule that
one must BACK one's car into the parking space, instead of pulling in
frontways (is that a word?)...Well, I refuse to do this in the morning-
so I found a ticket on my car the other day!   I saved it, so the next
time I park I can just put it on there and the guards will think I've
already got a ticket.  (yes, we DO have guards who walk around our 
parking lot ticketing cars parked in the wrong section, etc)

3.  I think this is an FPP (frequently peeved peeve), but those
Easter decorations in the form of eggs hanging from trees and the
inflatable bunnies also hanging from said tree are really stupid.
One of these days I'm going to go on a midnight run with a dart gun

ObEasterjoke  
Why did Jesus never graduate from college?
Because he got nailed on his boards...

Stephanie
From: jillez@sgi.com (Jill Zurschmeide)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: GIFs
Date: 15 Apr 92 03:32:30 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc., Mountain View, CA

Michael Hart tells us about his fantasy-Geoff:
>Actually, I picture Geoff as about 5'10", 180lbs., 
>[blah blah blah]
>somewhat popular with the ladies, probably has a stable 
>of 2 or three semi-regular squeezes

Thanks, Michael, for the best laugh I've had all day.

Jill
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Psychology (was: Re: Lawyers not Chemists)
Date: 16 Apr 92 17:17:00 GMT
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 703440052@blackjack, mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
> I mentioned that since we were going to propose a nice database, why
> not expand the functionality to include the metrology activies.

You'd have gotten the same reaction from me, and I know what metrology
means.  As soon as someone uses the word "functionality", I tune out
the rest of the sentence.

ObPeeve: I wanted to look up "metrology", just to be sure, in this
	 USELESS "American Heritage Dictionary", and the word wasn't
	 there.  This is the second time in two days this dictionary
	 hasn't had a word that I wanted to look up.  Maybe, though,
	 it's just living up to its name:  maybe oddly spelled words
	 and a shrinking vocabulary *is* the American Heritage.

---
Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
        The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
  "Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice appears under your feet."
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: QuasiKrautFussing (Was: Moronic left turn first signals)
Date: 3 Apr 92 20:12:52 GMT
Distribution: alt.this.galaxy
Organization: University of Michigan Engineering, Ann Arbor

In article <ATAYLOR.92Apr3085907@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
><In article <1992Apr2.205856.26609@odin.corp.sgi.com> zursch@whizkid.corp.sgi.com (Jeff Zurschmeide) writes:
><geoffm@psychofantic.butt.kisser.COM (Geoff Miller - none other) writes:
><>
><>At best, it would offer protection
><>to your severed head as it goes bouncing down the _strasse_.
>
><Learn your germanic spellings, schweinhundt! It's "Btrasse" in
><their fucked-up kraut alphabet. 
>
>	Well, as long as we're toasting mistakes in German...
>
><Herr Zurschmeide
><(Which, in the Old Low German, means, "He with a Schwongstucker
><like an Alpenhorn")
>  
>	...the word is "Schweinstuker", literally translated it
>	means "pig-sticker". I suppose the BayAreaNetCabal
>	equivalent would be 'goat-prodder', but who wants to
>	know for sure?
>
>ObPeeve: no umlauts in USA ASCII
>
>	"Schwongstucker" looks like some sort of attempt at
>	Kalifornicated pseudo-Yiddish.....for penance, you must 
>	go see "Young Frankenstein" repeatedly until you can 
>	pronounce "schweinstuker" half as well as Madeline Kahn does.

Sorry, Charlie.  The word in "Young Frankenstein" is _Schwanzstucker_.
Schwanz, not schwein.  Schwanz is the German word for "tail".  Also,
"Schweinhund" doesn't have a T on the end, and the German letter that
looks like a capital B is a double S, so "Strasse" can also be spelled
something like "StraBe".  

ObWeapon: a drieuxified German compound word like "Fliegerabwehrkanone"
          or "Sturtzkampffleugzeug."

ljd

("anti-aircraft gun" and "dive bomber" for the German-impaired.)
From: steinar@faust.solan.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions
Date: 11 Apr 92 12:36:02 GMT
Article-I.D.: faust.STEINAR.92Apr11143602
	<31344@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> <1992Apr10.220127.28057@msuinfo.cl.msu.edu>
Organization: Flodnak, Inc., Trondheim, Norway

Deborah Trytten writes:
>I'm a woman, and under 5 feet tall.  I walk every single night, and
>have for years.  In all this time, I've only had a couple of bad things
>happen.  I've had a couple of beer bottles tossed out of cars at me, one
>dog fight (I walk with my dog(s)), and witnessed a couple of petty
>crimes (slashing of bicycle tires, nothing very intense).  Anytime
>I tell anyone about any of these things I get the most peevesome response
>of all:
>
>What was a *woman* doing walking alone at night ?!?!

Grr.  I hate that one too.  I'm 180cm, and i still hear it sometimes.
It was especially funny one time when i was carrying a trombone around
in an oversized wooden case and i got scolded for walking alone at
"night" (it was dusk, actually).  

Peeve: Recently there were two rather well-publicized rapes in this part
of the country.  One of the victims was an old woman who was raped by
a teenager who broke into her apartment, the other was a teenage girl
who was hitchhiking.  The second one ended in a - by norskie standards -
spectacular stand-off with the police.  This isn't the peeve, really.
The peeve is that some loud-mouth politician said all girls and women
should just stay home after dark.  ("After dark" means "most of the
time" in winter, here.)

Corresponding AntiPeeve: He was made to look like a total jerk in the
media, particularly since the old woman _had_ stayed home and got 
raped anyway.  Hah!

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondheim, Norway
From: steveb@cernvax.cern.ch (Steve Bougerolle)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Dig a grave for me, please, I want to go quietly and quickly
Keywords: Warning tasteless vomit nausea
Date: 12 Apr 92 14:17:42 GMT
Organization: CERN, Geneva, Switzerland

MegaPeeve: Hangovers.

As you know, tomorrow I'm leaving Geneva forever Forever FOREVER!!! Yay!!
Yay!! YAY!!!!!!! (er pardon me, I got carried away)

Anyway, last night I went out with a couple friends to celebrate.  We
started with half a pot (50 cl) of red wine.  Then went to the bar, where I
had about 5 pints of beer.

Now, 5 pints is not a huge amount to drink over 5 or 6 hours.  Enough to
get drunk, certainly, but not enough to justify this hangover.  That requires
a breakdown; those were 1 pint of Guinness, 2 pints of Weissbier and 2 large
whatchamacallits of Pilsner Urquell.

This, of course, was very stupid of me and from old experience I should know
better than to mix booze.  I am now paying the penalty.  Please feel free to
heap abuse upon me.  Maybe I'll learn.

The headache isn't very bad, surprisingly, but I still can't keep food down.
Even this can of Coke I have looks dangerous, which is bad news because I'm
awesomely dehydrated.  But the water I tried at lunch came back up a few
seconds later, and this is Europe, where real orange juice doesn't seem to
exist.

Bonus Peeve: It's a beautiful day out and I want to go to the airport (1) to
check in for my flight tomorrow and (2) to take my camera and snap pictures
of all the planes that pile up there on Sunday afternoon.  But it took a
superhuman effort to make it all the way across site to my office, never
mind the airport.


-- 
_|\ |V| /|_  Steve Bougerolle, U. of British Columbia Physics Dept.
\  \| |/  /   and the OPAL experiment, CERN, Geneva CH
 >_______<    STEVEB@CERNVAX.UUCP  STEVEB@CERNVM.CERN.CH
     !        STEVEB@CERNVM.BITNET  45397::STEVEB (HEPnet)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Short gals--->Tall guys
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 92 13:21:40 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <32516@darkstar.ucsc.edu>, carolo@cse.ucsc.edu (Carol Osterbrock) writes:
|> In article <9APR199200292053@rigel.tamu.edu> rwb7054@rigel.tamu.edu (BARRETT, ROBERT WAMBLE, JR) writes:
|> 
|> >Peeve: Short girls(under 5'4") who go out with the guys who are 6'10"
|> >
|> >Why don't they look for someone a little more their size?  All the girls
|> >that I could ask out, of course are dating the 7-footers!!!
|> >Heck, that's a foot and a half difference.  They almost need a stepladder
|> >to kiss the guy goodnight!!!
|> 
|> Yeah, NO KIDDING.  Why don't those little short gals leave some of the
|> big ones for us women who can see over the steering wheel?  Never mind
|> the kiss goodnight, the poor guy must get a major back injury trying
|> to do a 69.

Hey now.  I'm sorta tall myself, and some very important ladies in my life
have been and continue to be short(ish), say 5'4" and under.  Not a problem.
The saying that I've heard is:

When yer nose-to-nose her toes are there, and toes-to-toes her nose is there.

Believe me, for the right incentives, a difference in heights can be well
accommodated, even for Carol's above-mentioned activity.

+------------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran (cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com)                |
|Data General Corporation, Research Triangle Park, NC  |
+------------------------------------------------------+
|The dividing line between manhood and boyhood is not  |
|merely chronological.               --Elaine Richards |
+------------------------------------------------------+
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Bogroll Peeve
Date: 13 Apr 92 14:19:56 GMT
Article-I.D.: lynx.l7wjk5g
Organization: Deathcheeses of Wisconsin

In article <9438@wrgate.wr.tek.com> dmunroe@gollum.wr.tek.com (David Munroe) writes:
>An excellent peeve.  This very same "Tissue System" is now showing up here
>and I cannot think of one single improvement it has over the conventional
>dispenser.  The "rabid wolverine" effect Al describes is enhanced when the
>previous "customer" of said dispenser pulls the tissue out at an angle.  This
>causes the tissue to crowd together in the corner where it cannot be torn off
>very well.  Furthermore, when you have to reach up into the dispenser, the
>stupid plastic teeth scrape your hand.  You also have to wonder about the
>hygienic consequences of sticking your hand up into this dispenser -- public
>men's rooms are filthy enough without finding little surprises in the tissue
>dispenser.

This is not taking into account, of course, that unlike the conventional
bogroll dispensers, it is necessary to either insert one's hand inside the 
thing to see how much paper is left or hang one's head w-a-y down low to
see up inside the thing. Frankly, rubbing my hair on the floor the the men's
room does not perk up my whole day.

And don't forget the fine paper itself. For some reason these monster-rolls
are always filled with thin, unabsorbant, nasty stuff that lies somewhere
on the comfort scale between sheet steel and a hardwood floor.

-- 
"When I am introduced to an undertaker I categorize him at once as a
 sanctimonious money-grubbing necrophiliac. I realize this is an unfair
 generalization. I don't care."      -- Lawrence Block
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: Vinyl Junkies
Organization: peevish
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 23:27:13 GMT

In article <5405@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
(Bandy Eals) writes:

>Just ask them "But what about live concerts?  Is there hiss and pop
>and other surface noises during a live concert?

Depends on who's sitting behind you and what they're smoking.  But we
just did that thread.

ObPeeve: Low SAQ types who don't understand that the function of doors
is to let people pass through walls.

ObBob: apples

Seth		sethb@fid.morgan.com
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I think I've either been reading the net too much or drinking an
inappropriate amount. -- Tim Mefford
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: not the secretary
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 20:20:49 GMT

peeve: when someone comes into the office and interrupts my phone conversation
to tell me a message for officemate.


-l "here's a postit. and here's a list of things you can do with it." p
-- 
-lp **************************************************************************
* What do you tell forever's children when it's their turn to hurt and heal? *
* What ever spins the grim tornado can also turn a potter's wheel.           *
************************************************************** --Bill Danoff *
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Death Peeve
Date: 14 Apr 92 20:58:43 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <9!yj-8h.rickg@netcom.com> rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon) writes:
>In article <kulvppINN5fa@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> Geoff Miller asks:
>>Who's Sam Kinison?
>Misunderstood comic genius, according to the insufferably sanctimonious
>press.
>Dead guy, according to the CHP.


Peeve: That 38 year old guys getting a fresh start on life get killed
by dumfuck drunken assholes.

I was not a fan of Kinison, although he was pretty funny as a guardian
angel on "Married With Children", but I hate it when tragedies like this
happen. I hate that Belushi was stupid enough to die on speedballs, I hated
the Vietnam War and I hated the Gulf War. I hate that political leaders
form organized gangs of thieves and steal things from other people in
the name of some stupidassed "Noble Cause". Saddam, Adolf, Benito, George,
all thieves. People should be smart, healthy, live long, not overpopulate
the world with stupid children, not steal and kill. Feh.

MegaPeeve: Death, pain, stupidity.

!Peeve: Some people are smart, good, loving and creative and make life
worth living. 

ObServation: I still have not decided whether I hate "Married With 
Children" or not. I must watch it because Katy Segal is such a hoot.
(My cousin, Julie, refers to her as a "great American matriarch".)

ObQuote: "Bon bon!"

ER
--
*"I mean it could make a big difference in your life if you thought that 
*you didn't need to depend on some musty old dogma thats riddled with
*translation problems, and started acting from the center of your own being."
*					-Owen Rowley
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jpoller@novell.com (Contents may have settled during Shipping)
Subject: Re: Lust from afar
Organization: The Electoral Collage
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 23:42:05 GMT

Surrendering, banta@jailhouse.com (242 lbs before cooking) meekly
whines:
=> I took an oath against entering the state of Pennsylvania.  How 'bout

This was of course one of those oaths that went along with "Should you
re-enter the Esteemed Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, we will be forced
to fully press all charges, and prosecute you and you entire family
to the fullest extent of the law.  Perverse, athiest, long haired,
chunky race car drivers aren't liked around these parts."

=> I send you a sample and a black-light bulb, you send me a photo, then
=> I'll send you a baggie of spunk.  Then we can trade places.

You want her spunk???  I thought that even you were above that.  What
you gonna do?  Make some bread???

=> ObHair: Mole

ObHair: Drew
=> 

ObPeeve: Vending Machine Caretakers.  Why is it these peons see fit
the fill the machine with two parallel rows of alternating 'food'?
There are two rows of M&Ms.  But rather than one row being peanut and
one being regular, both rows are both peanut and regular, alternating
each slot.  So at any given time you get your choice of two peanut, or
two regular, and occasionaly, one of each.

ObGetTheMessage?
=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%=%
Lex Talionis, 'To The Pain'
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: But do you have 57 Chevy's? (Was: Moronic left turn first signals)
Date: 9 Apr 92 15:37:55 GMT
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky) writes:

+>	Isn't your bedroom window featured in the video
+>	"Herr Kommissar" by that famous Austrian rock
+>	artist, what's-his-name?

+falco. however, referring to him as `famous austrian rock artist' can only
+be excused by the one-eyed-among-blind phenomenon.

Bavarian, from Koln, if memory serves.
-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"It's not an adult feature unless someone's gooey at the end."
 -- Bill Hicks