From: "(thomasl)" <thomasl@copper.ucs.indiana.edu>
Subject: festival report: ft. wayne
Summary: 20 people, low ceilings.
Keywords: make mine missouri
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 20:10:51 -0500

FT. WAYNE --  THE TOWN IS NAMED FOR ANTHONY WAYNE. "MAD" ANTHONY WAYNE.  WHAT
WAS HE MAD ABOUT? MAYBE IT WAS THE DRIVE UP THERE.  MILES OF FLAT BEIGE BARREN
FIELDS, WHICH MADE THE SIGNS PROMISING MCDONALDS, TACO BELL AND OTHER BASTIONS
OF MASS-MARKET CIVILIZATION A REFRESHMENT AND DELIGHT.  YES, EVEN THE FOREST-
BURNING, ORANGE PLASTIC ECOTRASH DISPOSABAL CULTURE WAS DESIREABLE TO OUR
STIMULATION STARVED SENSES.  CONVERSATION CAN ONLY GET YOU SO FAR.  MY
INTREPID COMPANION  FRITZ THE WONDER-BOY AND I MADE FAST WORK OF THE TRIP.
ONLY THE PROMISE OF JUGGLING MADE IT WORTHWHILE. WHY PEOPLE IN NORTHERN 
INDIANA PREFER TO LINGER IN THE FAST LANE I DO NOT KNOW, AND FRITZLE DID
NOT EITHER.  I ASKED HIM OFTEN, AS I BLEW THE DOORS OFF THE OFFENDING 
VEHICLES.

IT WAS EASY TO FIND THE FESTIVAL.  FOLLOWING THE MONKEY-FACE ZOO SIGNS LED
RIGHT TO IT.  BUT THERE WERE NO JUGGLERS OUTSIDE, ALTHOUGH THE SIGN PROMISED
"JUGGLE ---->".  WE LUGGED OUR GEAR OUT OF THE VEHICLE AND INTO WHAT WAS 
DUBBED, IN A FLIGHT OF WILD FANCY, IF NOT OUTRIGHT MADNESS, "THE PAVILLION".
I SUPPOSE CALLING IT "THE ROOM IN THE QUAINT LITTLE BRICK BUILDING WITH
NOT VERY HIGH CEILINGS" WOULDN'T HAVE FIT ON THE SIGN.  BUT I PICK NITS. I
SAVE MY SCORN FOR THE FESTIVAL T-SHIRTS. 50/50. NEED I SAY MORE.  THE FEST
ALSO WANTED A TWENTY-SPOT FOR THE FEST, BUT THE SHIRT WAS INCLUDED. ON A 
HAPPIER NOTE, I WAS PROVIDED WITH A PERSONAL EXHIBITION OF ARM-PIT JUGGLING
BY THE VERY FELLOW THAT HAD DRAWN GASPS AT THE PREVIOUS YEAR'S PUBLIC SHOW.  
THIS YEAR, WE BROUGHT OUR OWN DIABOLO DEMON. WHICH PROVED FORTUNATE.  BECAUSE
IT HAD BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY'D SEEN ONE IN THOSE PARTS.

COMPETITIONS COMMENCED, AND THE 8 CLUB PASSING WAS WON BY A MISBEGOTTON
TEAM WHICH APPROACHES THE HORRORS MODERN-DAY TECHNO-LUDITES AND
RIGID WHINING RETRO-NOSTALGIC NEURASTHENICS IMAGINE WHEN THEY HEAR ABOUT 
GENETIC ENGINEERING. I WAS HORRIFIED, TOO.  THE 8 CLUB PASSING TEAM WHICH
WON WAS COMPRISED OF OUR VERY OWN FRITZY-FRITZ, AND ARN WARD, OF PURDUE.
EACH WON A DOOR PRIZE TICKET.  DER FRITZLE WALKED AWAY WITH THE PRIZE FOR 
BEST TRICK AS WELL, WITH TWO DIABOLOS ON A DROP THE STICK TRICK.  THE 
ANNOUNCER DIDNT KNOW WHAT A DIABOLO WAS, BUT PROMPTING FROM THE AUDIENCE
HELPED GARNER FRITZ THE APPLAUSE NEEDED TO BEAT THE FOUR ODD OBJECT JUGGLE,
THE BOUNCE TRICK, AND THE BALL-SPINNING.

PURDUE TEAM PHIL N SAN-D MADE A STRONG SHOWING IN 7 CLUB PASSING, BUT 
THEY COULD NOT CUT THE MUSTARD WHEN THE CLUBS BEGAN TO FLY.  TOO EASILY
DISTRACTED TO SUSTAIN 7 CLUBS, THEIR PATTERN BLEW UP WHEN CLUBS STRAYED
FROM THE IU PATTERN, ON THEIR WAY OVER TO THE COMPETITORS TWO TEAMS DOWN.

BUT THE EXCITEMENT HAD ONLY JUST BEGUN.  IT WAS THE UNICYCLE RACES THAT
THE CROWD TURNED OUT FOR, AND THEY WANTED CARNAGE.  

UNICYCLES HAVE BEEN FLYING LATELY.  STEVE RAGATZ "LET IT FLY" IN ANN
ARBOR WHEN HE PITCHED TERRY JONES' MIYATA DELUXE FROM THE SECOND FLOOR
BALCONY OF THE RED ROOF INN, AFTER HITTING HIS HEAD AND GOING INTO A
BLOOD-RED RAGE.  SAN-D'S UNI GOT A SOUND TROUNCING WHEN, AGAIN,
THE BAD BOY OF JUGGLING, MR. ATTITUDE, STEVEN RAGATZ, IN A DEATH-DEFYING
STUNT WHICH EVIL KNIEVAL ONLY DREAMS ABOUT IN HIS MORE LURID FANTASIES,
RODE THE SAN-D CYCLE OFF THE WALL OVER THE JORDAN RIVER.  PROBABLY A 
GOOD THING HE DIDNT LAND ON THE UNI (GOOD FOR THE CRANKS, THAT IS), BUT
RATHER SENT IT BOUNCING OFF THE PAVEMENT.  FLESH HEALS, BUT UNISEATS
ONLY PROVIDE SOUVENIRS, AND SAN-D HAS A MEMORABLE SOUVINEER OF THE
FAMOUS MIDWEST MINI FEST.  

YES, THE CROWDS WANTED MORE AT FORT WAYNE, AND THEY WERE NOT 
DISAPPOINTED.  THE CONTESTANTS LEAPT FROM THE GATE.  NECK AND NECK INTO
THE FIRST TURN THERE WAS A THREE-UNI PILE UP.  PURDUE'S OWN SANDY AMASS
WAS THEN POSSESSED BY THE SPIRIT OF TOM CRUISE, AND AS THE LETTERS 
"DAYS OF THUNDER" APPEARED ABOVE HER HEAD, THE CLOUDS PARTED, AND A 
BIG RADIO VOICE OVER PROCLAIMED "DRIVE THROUGH THE WRECK".  SAN-D 
FELT A GREAT RUSH OF ADRENALINE, AND HER HEART POUNDED AS SHE POWER
CHARGED THROUGH THE TWISTED SPOKES, BENT CRANKS AND RIMS AND TORN 
SEATS, AND EMERGED VICTORIOUS, TO CLAIM HER RAFFLE TICKET.  

I FINISHED SECOND, HAVING FINALLY GRABBED A BY-STANDERS ARM TO CLEANLY COMPLETE
MY FREE-MOUNT. 

NOT BEING A SPRINTER, PHIL GRUMBLED ABOUT THE SHORT JOGGLING COURSE, AND SWORE
TO COMPETE WITH CLUBS NEXT YEAR. 

SEAN BLUE (OR SHAWN BLUE, OR SEAN BLUE-GREEN) WON MOST OF THE OTHER
COMPETITIONS.

THE FESTIVITIES BROKE FOR DINNER, AND WE FOUND OURSELVES IN A CHEAP LITTLE
CHINESE FASTFOOD PLACE.  CONVERSATION WAS LIVELY AS WE SHOVELED IN THE
CHOW, AND TALKED OF SPACE-AGE POLYMERS, MIRACLE RESINS, AND ALL MANNER
OF BINS.  LIKE CLOWNS FROM A CIRCUS CAR, INCOGNITO JUGGLERS WANDERED IN,
IN 3'S, 5'S AND MULTIPLEX COMBINATIONS.  WE IGNORED THE LATTER, AND DID
NOT SPEAK WITH THEM.  

AFTER DINNER COMBAT COMMENCED, WITH A NOVEL INNOVATION --
BOUNCE COMBAT, IN WHICH THE HIGH THROW ABORTIVELY BOUNCES BACK DOWN.  IT
WAS A VERY GOOD THING SHIDAN HABIBI WAS NOT ON PREMISES, FOR MANY A SOFT
CLUB WOULD HAVE BECOME EMBEDDED IN THE CEILING.  FRITZ PROVIDED AN 
EDUCATIONAL INTERLUDE WHEN THE HANDLE OF THE BORROWED FOAMY JOE CLUB
FLIPPED BACK, REVEALING A WASHER AND BOLT CONSTRUCTION.  I DIDN'T KNOW
THEY WERE MADE THAT WAY.  PHIL FRUGALLY COLLECTED UP ALL THE PARTS, SO
THE CLUBS COULD BE LOANED OUT ANOTHER DAY.  REFLECTION'S NEW SOFT CLUBS
WERE CLEARLY THE DESIREABLE ONES.  MANY FORT WAYNE JUGGLERS HAD NEVER
SEEN THE SOFTCLUBS, AND THEY WERE SUITABLY AMAZED.  NO WONDER -- THEIR
PEOPLE WERE JUGGLING WATER-COOLER BOTTLES WITH PVC PIPE STUCK INTO THEM
FOR HANDLES.  OUCH!

THE DOOR PRIZES WERE A GREAT SUCCESS.  THE FRITZMEISTER WALKED AWAY WITH
THE JUGGLEBUG JR. JUGGLE KIT (COMPLETE WITH CARRYING CASE), AND HE WAS
HAPPIER THAN A PROFESSOR CONFIDENCE 3 BALL PIN-HOLDER.  THE JUGGLEBUG
CLUBS WENT FIRST (ONE OF THOSE RAFFLES WHERE YOU PICK YOUR PRIZE), BEFORE
THE AIRFLIGHTS (WHICH PURDUE SCORED).  JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT APPEARANCE
COUNTS SOMETIMES.  THE LESSON I LEARNED THERE, AND MY ADVICE TO READERS
IS, IF YOU EVER WANNA BE PICKED FOR SOMETHING -- SAY, THAT DESIREABLE
JOB, THE BASKETBALL TEAM, OR FOR A DATE ON FRIDAY NIGHT-- TRY WRAPPING
YOURSELF IN GOLD MYLAR AND PRETTY WHITE TAPE.  MYSELF, I ALMOST COMPLETED
MY SET OF AIRFLIGHTS, WINNING 3 RINGS.  ALL I NEED IS THE GLOW-IN-THE-DARK,
AND I'LL SOON HAVE MORE RINGS THAN ANTHONY CAN JUGGLE.

FRITZ AND I DECIDED WE HAD HAD TOO MUCH FUN, AND SO, WAVING GOODBYE TO
OUR FELLOW JUGGLERS, AND GATHERING UP OUR LOOT, WE HIT THE HIGHWAY AT
100 AND MADE IT BACK TO TOWN IN TWO HOURS (NOT COUNTING STOP-TIME TO
REFUEL AND CHECK IN WITH OUR FALLEN COMRADE STEVER, LAID LOW BY AN
INSIDIOUS VIRUS).

INTENDING NO DISRESPECT TO THE FESTIVAL SPONSERS, THIS FEST LEFT PEOPLE
WISHING JAY GILLIGAN HADN'T OPTED TO ATTEND AN OREGON FEST INSTEAD (AND
APPRECIATING HIS DECISION) -- IT WOULD HAVE LIVENED THINGS UP.  MORE THAN ONE 
THOUGHT-BALLOON CURSED THE ABSENCE OF TERRY JONES, AND THE REST OF THE 
INDEFATIGABLE BLOOMINGTON IFO.  MICHAEL FERGUSON WASN'T THERE, THROWING 
THE POWERFUL NUMBERS, AND SO THERE WERE NO NEW FERGIE PRODUCTS TO SEND US
RUMMAGING FOR OUR CHECKBOOKS.  NONE OF THE MADISON BOYS ATTENDED, AND SO
THE PASSING DISPLAYS SUFFERED (ALTHOUGH DAYTON SHOWED UP IN GOOD NUMBERS,
AND PASSED SAME WITH PURDUE).

YEAH, IT'S MISSOURI NEXT YEAR FOR THIS REPORTER.

SEE YOU THERE.