HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Friday, 25 Sep 1992 20:37:11 MST
From: <AOKXC@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bowling Wit Wanted...
Distribution: world

In article <19vngnINNgf7@sixgun.East.Sun.COM>, jhoffman@shamokin.East.Sun.COM
(Jim Hoffman - Special Programs Manager) says:
>
>In article 6846@amgen.com, chriss@sam.amgen.com (Chris Silvester writes:
> Hi all...
>
Stuff about team names deleted. . .
>
>How about the NADS -- then you could have cheerleaders yelling:
>
>Go  NADS    Go  NADS
>

The last team I was on came up with the following name:

                 'Men with 15 Pound Balls'

>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>=
>Jim Hoffman                     Internet (no MX): jwh@sun.com
>Sun Microsystems, Inc.          Internet: jim.hoffman@east.sun.com
>Suite 200
>6716 Alexander Bell Drive       AT&T    : (301) 312-1710
>Columbia, Md.  21046            FAX     : (301) 312-1799
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>=
>
---
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                             | 'The whole wide world, and endless universe.
aokxc@asuvm.inre.asu.edu     | Yet we keep looking through the eyeglass in
AOKXC@ASUACAD.BITNET         | reverse.  Don't feed the people, but we feed
                             | the machines.  Can't really feel what
**usual disclaimers apply**  | international means.' -RUSH, Territories.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                No purchase necessary.  Void where prohibited.
                       See contest rules for details.
From: awv0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (ALAN WRIGHT VEROSTICK)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Military humor
Date: 28 Sep 92 15:40:17 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <151@cherise.UUCP>, bobp@cherise.UUCP (Robert Parkinson) writes:
>In article <zarthac.717408556@camelot> excalibr@camelot.bradley.edu (Michael Bu
rke) writes:
>>Anywayz, I'm looking for others to add to my list:
>>
>>Navy: A bucket of Prop Wash (could also be applied to the AF)
>>      A box of Grid Squares (could also be applied to the Army)
>
>50 feet of shore line.
>A gallon of relative bearing grease.


>How about:

 Plaid paint
 Dotted ink
 a Biscuit Gun for the galley?

 
-- 
===============================================================================
Alan W. Verostick(Tarkus)              | "An artist's first responsibility is
215-758-0460                           |  to himself."
AWV0@PL118F.CC.LEHIGH.EDU              |               -Miles Davis
AWV0@LEHIGH.EDU                        |
==============================================================================
Vidi, Vici, Veni:  I saw, I conquered, I came
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: shrum@eos.arc.nasa.gov (Rick Shrum)
Subject: Re: Mixed Up Movie Titles
Organization: NASA Ames Res. Ctr, Calif.
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 23:36:54 GMT

In article <433@bal.UUCP> gainer@bal.UUCP (Mike Gainer) writes:
>On the topic of interesting neon-sign failures:
>
>Kentucky Fried Chicken
>    ucky Fried   ick
>
>Never seen it, but perhaps some slingshot artist could oblige?


On a double bill (can't remember the name of the other film), the
title of "Escape from Alcartaz" was changed by some wise guy (who
climbed to the top of an outdoor marquee) to "Eat P*ssy from Alcatraz"!
I did a *tripple* take when I saw the sign from the freeway!


>
>-- 
                            R ****
                             I
                              C
                          **** K	

Organization: Freshman, CIT general, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Thu,  1 Oct 1992 22:42:33 -0400 
From: "Bartosz M. Blacha" <bb2q+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Hello
	<iTBZRB3w165w@netlink.cts.com>

>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>> >>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>> >>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>> >>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>> >>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>> >>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>> >>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>> >>>>Why not today.
>> >>> BTW... :-)
>> >>Throw the "C" manual away !
>> >I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
>> BASIC is here to stay!
>12 year olds sure like to play!
Darn, isn't THAT the wrong way?





 ______________________________________________________________               
/               /       \ "We should not let ourselves be burnt           
|            ////       |  for our opinions:  we are not that  
|      \\  ////////     |  sure of them.  But perhaps for this: 
|     \\\\/////////     |  that we may *have* and *change*
|    |\| _     _ |/|    |  our opinions."         
|    |o (0)   (0) o|    |  
|     \     A      /    |  Neechy
|     /|////^\\\\|\     |  
| /////|////~\\\\|\\\\\ |  (if you know more than how to 
|//     \__   __/     \\|  spell that, write to me!)
|          \_/          |  bb2q+@andrew.cmu.edu
|       FRIEDRICH       |
\_______________________/___________________________________
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Monday, 5 Oct 1992 19:41:01 MST
From: <ICEND@ASUACAD.BITNET>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: More tasteless acronyms (or The Tale of the Unfinished List)
Distribution: na
 <BvIo8o.EBs@csugrad.cs.vt.edu>

Here's another one:

    FART:  Fast Action Response Team
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Just *whom* should we elect?
From: rivero@mdcbbs.com
Date: 30 Sep 92 11:04:20 GMT
Organization: Electronic Data Systems, Unigraphics Division, Cypress CA
Nntp-Posting-User: rivero

In article <28SEP199216152397@elroy.uh.edu>, st1ns@elroy.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.) writes:
> In article <viking.717649282@vincent2.iastate.edu>, viking@iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes...
>>f_cnnghamjk@ccsvax.sfasu.edu writes:
>> 
>>>Q: Why is Jane Fonda more "electable" than Clinton or Quayle?
>>>A: She's been to Vietnam!
>> 
>>	Yeah, but she also posed nude for Playboy and made Barbarella.
>>The public would never go for it.  I sure can't take a political
>>statement seriously from a woman that I've seen on a nude centerfold
>>taped to a reactor containment vessel.
> 
> Anyone who can get a nude centerfold to agree to being taped to a reactor 
> containment vessel, and then get on and have a good time, is certainly 
> more persuasive, inventive and daring than the candidates we have now!
> Of course, you failed to mention the gender of the centerfold in question
> and what activities in particular were in progress, but with Barbarella
> as a resume credit, I presume I can take a guess.  


  I move we vote for whoever Rich Little can impersonate the best!



<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
|  Michael Rivero        rivero@dev8j.mdcbbs.com     "A Human's Human!"  |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|                       I CAME,  I SAW,  I DIVORCED                      |
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: wjw1@me1.MsState.Edu (Bill Wilson)
Subject: Re: Fanning the Flames of Hate
Organization: Mississippi State University
Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 10:27:30 GMT

>>>>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
>>>I suppose you think we really care!
>>I read this and simply stare...
>A line this good is really quite rare
Oh, come now. Please follow-up with some flair!


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dagr@edb.tih.no (Dag Rambraut,o92a)
Subject: Re: Hello
Posting-Front-End: Winix Conference v 92.05.15  1.20 (running under MS-Windows)
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 12:13:31 GMT

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>Why not today.
>Go away.
Yes, right away.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
From: sysnet@cc.newcastle.edu.au (David Morrison)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: University of Newcastle, AUSTRALIA
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 05:16:11 GMT

In article <9227512.13379@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU>, matthias@ecr.mu.oz.au (Matthias_Markus LANG) writes:
> In article <1992Oct1.002215.8437@trl.oz.au>, tpearson@titan.trl.OZ.AU (Trevor Pearson) writes:
>> 
>> I thought an Apple was a fruit and a Macintosh was a raincoat?
> 
> Close. The Macintosh is a type of Apple. Personally, though, I think Apple

Not quite.  The McIntosh is a type of apple.
                ^^^                   ^
-- 
David Morrison, Manager, Networks and Comms, Uni of Newcastle, Australia
sysnet@cc.newcastle.edu.au or (VAX PSI) psi%0505249626002::sysnet
Phone: +61 49 215397	Fax: +61 49 216910
From: lizl@speare.lib.deakin.OZ.AU (Elizabeth Liburdi)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: ASCII PICTURES
Date: 7 Oct 1992 03:43:20 GMT
Organization: Department of Comp/Maths - Deakin University
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: speare.lib.deakin.oz.au

IF ANYONE HAS ANY ASCII PICTURES, PLEASE POST THEM DIRECTLY TO ME. THEY ARE REALLY GREAT FOR MAKING YOUR OWN CROSS-STITCH (EMBROIDERY) PICTURES. P.S. I ALREADY HAVE GARFIELD.  PLEASE POST THEM DIRECTLY TO ME.

THANKS

LIZ
From: mcgeathy@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Darkstar)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Wanted: Native jokes
Date: 4 Oct 92 03:04:50 GMT
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder

Here's one i remember from a LONG TIME ago..

An Indian goes into the local trading post to buy some toilet paper for his
people.  He goes up to the guy at the counter and tells him he needs toilet
paper, so the guy pulls out a roll and says "Here's the best toilet paper
we got, called White Cloud (or any other appropriate name)."  The Indian
studies it for a bit, then asks how much.  The man behind the counter tells
him, but the Indian says "No have much money, need something cheap."  The man
pulls out another roll and shows it to the Indian.  "This is the cheapest
we got" he says.  "What name?" asks the Indian.  "It doesn't have a name," 
replies the man, "Its generic toilet paper."  The Indian thinks about it for
a while then says "No name.   Me no like but me take."  And the Indian 
leaves.  Coupla weeks later, the Indian comes back in.  "Got a name for
toilet paper." he says.  The man decides to humor him and says "Great, whats
the name?".  "John Wayne toilet paper" says the Indian.  "John Wayne toilet 
paper?," asks the man, "Why'd you call it John Wayne toilet paper?"
The Indian replies "It rough, tough, and no take shit off Indian."


/-----------------------*Darkstar*--------------------------\
      "There are some things in life I could never face
       The worst is being alone
       Sometimes I wish I could have taken your place
       my love.
       You know I dont want to live forever"
                         --Queensryche
\----------------mcgeathy@ucsu.colorado.edu-----------------/
From: SDENARO@vm.poly.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: amy fisher jokes wanted
Date: 30 Sep 92 20:59:01 GMT
Organization: Polytechnic University

In article <YemEmKq00WBNE9_WcL@andrew.cmu.edu>
William Adelman <wa00+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
 
>
>what the difference between amy fisher and amy weiss??
>amy weiss is goimg to penn state and amy fisher is going to the state penn.
>
 
Q:what is the difference between amy fisher and ted kennedey?
A:ted killed his mary-jo
 
--
SAL DENARO      "Live Fast, Die Young, Hack 'C'"
sdenaro@polyvm.poly.edu    sdenaro@polyvm.bitnet
Xref: sparky rec.humor:30060 alt.folklore.computers:14617
From: st1ns@jane.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Date: 1 Oct 92 00:59:00 GMT
Organization: University of Houston
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Oct1.002215.8437@trl.oz.au>, tpearson@titan.trl.OZ.AU (Trevor Pearson) writes...
>andrewb@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Andrew Bevin) writes:
>> In article <1992Sep26.000442.3824@darwin.ntu.edu.au> hoffmann@nutmeg.ntu.edu.au (Arthur Hoffmann) writes:
>> >In article <1992Sep21.035843.3401@lugb.latrobe.edu.au>, 9124704t@lux.latrobe.edu.au (Paul Veiser) writes:
>> >> In article <1992Sep8.075304.5164@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au> brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage) writes:
>> >> >
>> >> >Shaw's Principle:
>> >> >    Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
>> >> >    want to use it.
>> >> What does that say about Mac users? ;-)
>> >> 
>> >> Paul Veiser
>> >Everything. :)
>> 
>> You mean a Mac is a computer system? 
>> I thought it was just a tool that allowed me to get my work done quickly 
>> and easily.
>>
> 
>I thought an Apple was a fruit and a Macintosh was a raincoat?
> 
>> 

The only truly useful form of Macintosh keeps one dry in foul weather, it's 
true.

Tagline seen on a local user group BBS:  
  The best way to accelerate a Mac is at 9.8m/sec^2.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pidoy@cc.uow.edu.au
Subject: 10,000  QUESTION PURITY TEST--PLEASE READ !!!!!
Organization: University Of Wollongong
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 00:23:06 GMT

	This is serious man ! . I had a copy of the 15,000-question 
  purity test and if anybody want t have a  copy , please call me on
  (042) 284 -022. I you are living in the southern hemisphere then fine
  if not .. then .. sorry  :-)


	Jun
	
-- 
            *******************************************************
	    * Elpidio S. Jabonete , Jr.  |  "Life is a hamburger" *
	    * <u9211306@cc.uow.edu.au>   |     --Bread Baker      *
	    *******************************************************
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel)
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 14:42:56 GMT

In article <alan.8@ps-mail.pass.wayne.edu> alan@ps-mail.pass.wayne.edu (Alan Mo
en) writes:
>
>Exit #69 on I-75 is Big Beaver road...

No way, man!!  You're pulling our legs.  I know that it's
16 Mile Rd!!!!

-Mark

p.s.  Is it really exit #69?  I didn't know that.
From: SAB121@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: favorite Sayings...
Date: 3 Oct 92 05:08:08 GMT
Article-I.D.: psuvm.92277.010808SAB121
Organization: Penn State University

Favorite saying by a D&D Player and DM:
     Remember: Evil shall always triumph over good, because good is STUPID!
From: ehc0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (EDWARD H. CINCA)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Yogi Berra lines
Date: 1 Oct 92 23:40:32 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <BvAMp4.9yy@cd.com>, mike@cd.com (Mike Heins) writes:
>>Does anyone out there have any other Yogi Berisms.  I would love to hear some
>>of the other things that he said.
>
>My favorite comes from when Yogi was questioned about playing left
>field in Yankee Stadium, where the shadows can be troublesome in the
>late afternoon.  He said:
>
>       "Yeah, it gets late early out there."
>
Another one of his sayings was said to the press when asked about a new
restaurant that had opened. He said, "That restaurant is so crowded that noone
goes there." Makes you think, huh?
--
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: illiteracy...next
From: $ennsnr@brandonu.ca (Neil Enns)
Date: 29 Sep 92 17:56:07 CST
Organization: Brandon University

In article <1992Sep25.175341.18830@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>, johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com ("Johnson") writes:
> In article <1992Sep21.185543.14076@seas.gwu.edu>, ahmad@seas.gwu.edu (Aftab Ahmad) writes:
> =)In article <92265.110644MGW104@psuvm.psu.edu> Matt Wright <MGW104@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
> =)>My teacher said I was illiterate.  What is she trying to say?
> =)>
> =)>
> =)	If you don't get it, you don't get it.
> =)	(Don't ask what am I trying to say :)
> 
> Reminds me of a supposedly true letter to a social services agency, which I
> think I can quote from memory...
> 
> "I was shocked to see that you branded my son an illetterate (sic).  His
> father and I were married a month before he was born."
> 
> I think I might still have the list somewhere, if anyone's interested.
> -- 
> +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
> |  "Johnson"                              | "                               " |
> |  johnson@sleipnir.mnesouth.corp.mot.com |               -- Marcel Marceau   |
> +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
> |  Disclaimer:  It's just my Tourette's Syndrome acting up again.             |
> +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+

What about the U.S's new national literacy hotline? ABC-DEFG! What if you can't
read! How are you supposed to dial. :)

-- 
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

    _/      _/  _/_/_/  _/  _/		Reading furnishes the mind only with 
   _/_/    _/  _/      _/  _/		materials of knowledge; it is thinking
  _/  _/  _/  _/_/    _/  _/		that makes what we read ours.
 _/    _/_/  _/      _/  _/			-- John Locke
_/      _/  _/_/_/  _/  _/_/_/		
					Neil Enns, Brandon University
Disclaimer: Huh?			Internet: $ennsnr@brandonU.ca

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
From: rajain@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Hello
Date: 2 Oct 92 19:12:35 GMT

In article <4emvQNy00WCX041UVH@andrew.cmu.edu>, "Bartosz M. Blacha" <bb2q+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
>>> >>>>>>>>>>I wish this would just go away.
>>> >>>>>>>>>It might, but not today.
>>> >>>>>>>>And yet another, enters the fray.
>>> >>>>>>>Oh gawd, time to pray!
>>> >>>>>>Will this last til June or May?
>>> >>>>>This rhyme, I will not betray.
>>> >>>>Why not today.
>>> >>> BTW... :-)
>>> >>Throw the "C" manual away !
>>> >I hear that FORTRAN is the new wave!
>>> BASIC is here to stay!
>>12 year olds sure like to play!
> Darn, isn't THAT the wrong way?
What's right or wrong on foreplay!!


> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  ______________________________________________________________               
> /               /       \ "We should not let ourselves be burnt           
> |            ////       |  for our opinions:  we are not that  
> |      \\  ////////     |  sure of them.  But perhaps for this: 
> |     \\\\/////////     |  that we may *have* and *change*
> |    |\| _     _ |/|    |  our opinions."         
> |    |o (0)   (0) o|    |  
> |     \     A      /    |  Neechy
> |     /|////^\\\\|\     |  
> | /////|////~\\\\|\\\\\ |  (if you know more than how to 
> |//     \__   __/     \\|  spell that, write to me!)
> |          \_/          |  bb2q+@andrew.cmu.edu
> |       FRIEDRICH       |
> \_______________________/___________________________________
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
From: twpierce@unix.amherst.edu (Tim Pierce)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: Amherst College, Amherst MA
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:48:48 GMT

In article <11437294.122.717839606@eng2.eng.monash.edu.au> 11437294@eng2.eng.monash.edu.au (NATHAN WHEAT) writes:
>>> Please tell me where the power switch on Mac owners is; there are a number
>>> of these people I want to switch off.
>>
>>I'd like to know also...there are a number of owners i would like to turn 
>>ON.
>>:>
>
>Well, this button is a lot lower down, but you have to be of the opposite 
>sex to make it work (although there are exceptions)

Sure as hell are.  Thank God for other faggots. :-)

-- 
____ Tim Pierce                / "You are just naive and repressed because
\  / twpierce@unix.amherst.edu /  penis envy is here and it's now and it's
 \/ (BITnet: TWPIERCE@AMHERST) /  all around you." -- Neal C. Wickham
From: f_cnnghamjk@ccsvax.sfasu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Just *whom* should we elect?
Date: 27 Sep 92 18:11:13 CST
Organization: Stephen F. Austin State University

This is a synthesis of several people's thoughts...
 
Q: Why is Jane Fonda more "electable" than Clinton or Quayle?
A: She's been to Vietnam!
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
From: matthias@ecr.mu.oz.au (Matthias_Markus LANG)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: Computer Science, University of Melbourne, Australia
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 02:30:32 GMT

In article <1992Oct1.002215.8437@trl.oz.au>, tpearson@titan.trl.OZ.AU (Trevor Pearson) writes:
> 
> I thought an Apple was a fruit and a Macintosh was a raincoat?

Close. The Macintosh is a type of Apple. Personally, though, I think Apple
were suffering memory loss.. it should have been called a Granny Smith!

:-))
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Political Humor
Date: 5 Oct 92 18:53:52 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <80888@ut-emx.uucp>, mike@leah.prc.utexas.edu (Michael Kline) writes:
>In article <1992Sep26.002755.16530@cs.mun.ca> carlos@garfield.cs.mun.ca (Carlos
 Borges) writes:
>>dyck@mpr.ca (Trevor Dyck) writes:
>>>In article <1992Sep25.034816.21717@oracle.us.oracle.com> jsen@.oracle.com (Jo
ydeep Sen) writes:
>>>>test
>>>A new cascade, at its best!
>>Surely you jest!
>Won't you give this a rest?
And miss this fest?
-- 
+ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - +
|         ///   ///    ///////                   -=FORTY-TWO=-              |
|        ///   ///   /////////           We *ARE* The meaning of life!      |
|       //////////  //   ///                                                |
|      //////////      ///                TMA4@LEHIGH.EDU - Terry           |
|           ///      ///                  SLR7@LEHIGH.EDU - Stephanie       |
|          ///     ////////               MRP2@LEHIGH.EDU - Matt            |
From: g580785c@edinboro.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Jolly Green Giant
Date: 30 Sep 92 18:46:57 GMT
Organization: Edinboro University of Pennsylvania

Ha Ha Ha.  

Just kidding.

Boy was that dumb.
From: pmclaugh@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: The Candidates for Pres & Wizard of Oz
Date: 2 Oct 92 21:41:39 GMT

In article <92271.165739JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu>, Joe Carlson <JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
> In article <92271.164030JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu>, Joe Carlson <JKC3@psuvm.psu.edu>
> says:
> 
>> I thought you'd all like to hear about the
>>potential candidates meeting with the Wizard of Oz...
> 
>>First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have
>>no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart".
> 
>>So the Wiz said,"So be it".
> 
>>Second was Dan Quayle.  He said to the Wiz, "People think I'm unintelligent
>>and
>> have no common sense what so ever...I wish to have a Brain".
> 
>>The Wiz said, "So be it".

Reminds me of something I saw in a book of Quayle jokes.  It was a 
cartoon of Dan Quayle dressed as the scarecrow, and he was singing
his theme song:

	To the tune of "If I Only had a Brain"
	
	I could visit foreign nations
	Avoid humiliations
	Treat critics with disdain.
	I'd be more than George's caddy
	Make decisions without daddy ...
	If I only had a brain

[Actual author unknown, but it was too cute not to share]