From: majcher@acsu.buffalo.edu (Salamander~)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Mutant League Pamphlet
Date: 13 Aug 92 15:36:20 GMT
Organization: UB

Posted for a bretheren Yetisyns without net access...

#####

				   
		     They may be watching you...
		  act like you aren't reading this!
				   
			      WE'RE THE
				   
		      M U T A N T   L E A G U E
				   
		  and we might be looking for you!!


	- Are you different?
	- Do people look at you and say things like "Don't
	  touch me you fucking freak!!" ?
	- Do you consider yourself more intelligent and 
	  better informed than those around you?
	- Are other people just TOO FUCKING boring and 
	  normal?
				   
			 THEN A HIGHER POWER
			  HAS LED YOU TO US!

		In fact, the hand of fate itself
		has brought this cheesy pamphlet
		into your possession, and now
		your enraptured mind is begging
		for an answer to the question:
				   
			   WHAT THE FUCK IS
			   THIS ALL ABOUT?


      ##########################################################


			  WHAT IS A MUTANT?

	According to Webster's Unabridged Dictionary a MUTATION is "a
complete divergence from racial type which may ultimately give birth
to a new species."  According to us "it's about FUCKING TIME!"
	Mutants are the unusual, the original, the unique, those of us
capable of thinking for ourselves rather than believing the media's
FALSE REALITY and blindly following the masses.  We are the
trend-setters; we lead, we don't follow.
	The hypocrisy of this league is that by NATURE mutants are not
"joiners" and our league should therefore not exist.  The only thing
all mutants have in common is that we're all DIFFERENT, and we have
nothing in common with the NORMALS.
				   
	   POP OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE AND TAKE A LOOK AROUND!!
				   
		    WHAT HAS THIS WORLD GOTTEN TO?
				   
			    GLOBAL WARMING
			THE HOLE IN THE OZONE
			    DEFORESTATION
				 AIDS
				RACISM
			     HOMELESSNESS
			  POLICE BRUTATLITY
			GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION
			      POLLUTION
			   TRIVIAL PURSUIT   


	If you're smart enough that the only options left are RADICAL
CHANGE or LAUGHING LIKE IT'S ALL A BIG JOKE, have we got news for
you...
				   
	       You're not going to like the PUNCHLINE,
		    but at least you'll "get it".

	Only those of us with the mutanTAINT stand between the POWERS
THAT BE and a total, planetary
			   M I N D F U C K
			   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	We are the WRENCH IN EVERY WORKS, the BUG in EVERY SYSTEM, the
ANNOYING FLY buzzing around the PICNIC TABLE OF POWER... and there's
not enough FLY PAPER or RAID on the planet to stop us.
	We've realized the bleak future that awaits this planet.  Out
BIGGEST hurdle is that we keep fighing amongst ourselves.  What we
must realize is that our basic goals are all the same and we must put
aside our petty differences and JOIN TOGETHER to effect a change.
	The TRICK is to keep your mutation hidden.  ACT normal, keep
THEIR job, earn THEIR money, go to THEIR bars and nightclubs... learn
their weaknesses... but always keep your mutanTAINT honed cause you
never know when the SHIT'S GONNA START FLYING!!!
				   
			---------------------
			WORLD WITHOUT MUTANTS
			---------------------

	Imagine, if you can, a world without the mutants... a world in
which everyone is the same - we all do the same things, think the same
things, say the same things, and eat the same things.
	It begins at childhood when we do EXACTLY what we're supposed
to do:  doing homework, going to bed when MOMMY and DADDY tell us to,
proudly wearing our uniforms of conformity.  We are all CHEERLEADERS
and FOOTBALL PLAYERS, and we try to be the BEST, most PATRIOTIC
citizens we can be... after all, BIG BROTHER _IS_ WATCHING.
	All of our constitutional rights have been REPEALED since
nobody has any reason to practice them.  The most rebellious anyone
might be is if they listen to media-contrived rebels like MILLI
VANILLI or DEBBIE GIBSON.  There is NO ROCK, NO METAL, NO PUNK, RAP or
THRASH.  Just POP and EASY LISTENING.  Imagine having only BARBARA
STREISAND or COLOR ME BADD to choose from and ENJOYING IT!!!!

		       ARE WE SCARING YOU YET?

	We all dress alike.  The only make one kind of shirt, one kind
of pants, one kind of jacket, shorts and shoes.
	When you mature, you work endlessly at your job because you're
supposed toand you LIKE it.  MENIAL LABOR is your lot in life and you
know that only those born into wealthy families could ever amount to
an;ything.  We enjoy our middle class lot in life.  The government is
our friend.  They sit back in their posh penthouse suites and
multi-million dollar mansions planning how our tax money can benefeit
them.  We die never having done anything different or unique.

			 Creativity is dead.
			   Freedom is dead.
			   Thought is dead.
				   
	If hose of us who are labeles FREAKS, MUTANTS and FUCK-UPS do
not reveal our mutanTAINT this could be the world of the future.
	
	Without mutant thinkers we'd be DAMN LUCKY if we ever made it
out of the STONE AGE.  Every great mind throughout history was at
least moderately mutated:  SOCRATES, PLATO, FREUD, EINSTEIN, TESLA,
EDISON, BEN FRANKLIN, ALL WERE MUTANTS!!
	George Washington, Paul Revere, Thomas Jefferson... all our
founding fathers were FUCKING PUD-YANKING MUTANT REBELS!!  They were
fiercely anti-establishment and now the very country they started is
the establishment we must FIGHT!!  When you think about it, all PAUL
REVERE was doing was running around yelling "THE COPS ARE COMING!!"
They FOUNDED our GODDAMN country and they were just like us - they saw
themselves being oppressed and they grabbed the bull by the balls and
LAUGHED in his FUCKING face.
	Even JESUS, the very building block of Christianity, was
compassionate and sympathetic towards the mutants of his day, unlike
his present-day followers who would CRUCIFY US as his enemies did him!
If Christ were NORMAL wouldn't he have just followed along with the
ROMANS and skipped out on the whole PROPHET/MARTYR bit?!?
	Yer _DAMN_RIGHT_ he WOULDA!!


      ##########################################################


	For the past few years we've been planning, plotting, and
quietly gathering information on our enemies and brethren alike, and
now the culmination of our efforts can be at your disposal.
				   
			  WHEN YOU JOIN THE
				   
		      M U T A N T   L E A G U E
				   
			 HERE'S WHAT YOU GET:


	* A subscription to "CRACK", the official newsletter of the
	  MUTANT LEAGUE.  Eash issue is something new; we're not 
	  exactly sure what, but we promise not to bore you.
	* A way-too-fucking-cool MEMBERSHIP CARD to show all your
	  friends so they can get jealous of how hip you are.
	* Whatever pamphlets, flyers, tracts, posters, postcards, 
	  compact disks, tapes, or spare body parts we happen to 
	  have lying around.
	* Your name on the MUTANT MAILING LIST, a funky chain letter
	  kinda thing, which when used properly can net you and 
	  your friends lots of wierd shit.
	* And... an invitation to our annual BASH...
				   
				 THE				   
			N E C R O P H E L C H
				   
	    a party of unrivaled size and severity during
	     which anything can, and usually does happen.

				   
		  AND ALL OF THIS CAN BE HAD FOR THE
		   LOW, LOW PRICE OF JUST $10.00!!
	       a mere pittance for life-long membership
		in an organization of this magnitude.
				   
		ORDER NOW!  RATES MAY BE FORCED UP BY
		       THE EVILS OF INFLATION!
				   
				   
			      WRITE TO:
				   
			    Mutant League
			     P.O. Box 601
			 Webster, N.Y.  14580
-- 
  majcher@acsu.buffalo.edu     *  The meek shall inherit the earth,   *
  Marc Majcher@P.O. Box 156          and the wise keep moving on...
     Amherst, NY  14226        *   The Earth is our Mother, but how   *
    Voice: (716) 834-1648       many of us still live with our mother?
Newsgroups: alt.slack