From: fstuart@eng.auburn.edu (Frank Stuart)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: Better dead than IBM--SUMMARY (LONG)
Date: 8 Sep 92 22:46:08 GMT
Organization: Auburn University Engineering


Now it can be told!  Here are the suggestions for what IBM really stands for.
The following were posted to alt.folklore computers or mailed directly to me
(I also thought of a few more).  I removed all punctuation except for 
apostrophies and ran it through sort|uniq.  This article is in the public
domain.

-----

I Became Macintosh
I Been hipMotized
I Beg Mercy
I Believe in Marketing
I Bite Mammaries
I Blame Microsoft
I Bought Macintosh
I Bowel Move [0]
I Built a Macintosh
I'll Buy Macintosh
I'll Buy More
I'm Becoming Macintosh
I'm Being Mobbedwithwhatdoesibmstandforanswers
I'm Being Moved
I'm Buying Messes
I'm Buying a Macintosh
I've Been Managed
I've Been Misled
I've Been Molested
I've Been Moved
I've Been Mugged
I've Been Munged
I've Been to a Meeting
Ich Beuge Mich [1]
Ich Bin Muede [2]
Ichthy Brained Machine [3]
Icky Blue Machines
Iddy Biddy Machine
Idiotic Bull Meter
Idiots Become Managers
Idiots Bought Me
Idiots Bumblers and Morons
Idiots' Bewilderment Machines
Idolized By Morons
Ignatz Baines Minx
Ignite Blowtorch Mercilessly
Illustrative of Bad Marketing
Imitation Burroughs Machine
Immense Bins of Money
Immense Blue Monolith
Immense Blue Mountain
Immense Bowel Movement
Immense Bucket of Manure
Imperialism By Marketing
Impractical But Marketable
Imprecise Binary Math
In Bleakest Mordor [4]
In Business for Money
In a Befuddled Manner
Incest Breeds Morons
Incompatible Business Machines
Incontinent Bowel Movement
Incorruptible Brotherhood of Machines
Increasingly Becoming Moot
Incredible Bowel Movement
Incredible Bunch of Muffinheads
Incredible Bundles of Money
Incredibly Belligerent Mossbacks
Incredibly Big Machine
Incredibly Big Monopoly
Incredibly Boastful Mouths
Incredibly Boring Machine
Incredibly Boring Machines
Incredibly Brilliant Marketing
Incredibly Broad Marketing
Industry's Biggest Mistake
Inefficient But Marketable
Inept Bull Meter
Inert Blue Monoliths
Inferior But Marketable
Infernal Brotherhood of Morons
Inherently Bogus Measurements
Insert Bug under Mask
Insidious Black Magic
Insidious Byte Muncher
Insipid Brainless Monster
Insolence Breeds Mediocrity
Installed By Masochists
Installed By Mistake
Institute of Black Magic
Institute of Broken Minds
Insufficient Batch Machines
Integrated Bad Manners
Integrated Buzzword Manufacturing
Intel Beat Motorola
Intelligent Branch of Mafia
Intelligent Bull Meter
Intensely Boring Machines
Interactive Batch Machines
Interactive Boot Machines
Intercourse Beats Masturbation
Intergalactic Brotherhood of Muthaf**kas
Internal Bowel Movement
Internal Bureaucratic Mess
International Ballistic Missiles
International Big Mother
International Big Mouth
International Brain Machines
International Brotherhood of Magicians [5]
International Bubblegum Machines
International Bullcookie Merchants
International Bureaucracy Merchants
International Business Machines [6]
International Business Manipulators
Into a Bottomless Morass
Intolerant of Beards and Mustaches
Intrepid Bureaucratic Madness
Intshala Bacara Malesh [7]
Involuntary Bowel Movement
Iron Behemoth Makers
Iron Brain Masters
Irresistable By Management
It Beats Mattel
It Broke Me
It's Backwards Man
It's Been Malfunctioning
It's Being Masochistic
It's Being Mended
It's Better Manually
It's Big Money
It's Black Magic
It's Blue Magic
It's Boeing's Money [8]
It's Boring Me
It's Broken Mommy
It's Broken Mostly
It's Busted Man
It's a Big Machine
It's a Blue Monolith
It's the Blooper Mobile
It'sa Blue Mangler
Italian Branch of the Mafia
Italian Business Men
Itsy Bitsy Machine
Itsy Bitsy Machines
Itty Bitty Machine
Itty Bitty Machines
Itty Bitty Manuals
Itty Bitty Minds
Itty Bitty Monopoly
Itty Bitty Morons

-----

[0] From "When Harley was One...", the original poem generated by the AI
    entity Harley.
[1] German for "I'm bending over". 
[2] German for "I am tired".
[3] Ichthy meaning fish.
[4] From Tolkkien probably through Led Zepplin.
[5] This is a real organization who, undoubtably, do not want to be associated
    with the "computer" company.
[6] Unlikely.
[7] Arabic for "God willing, it may happen tomorrow, perhaps".
[8] Aparently, Boeing is one of IBM's largest customers.

-----

Apoligies in advance for any mistakes or omissions.

CONTRIBUTERS:

"ray whidden" <ray.whidden@canrem.com>
01ksdavis@bsu-ucs.uucp
<ftit@engin.umich.edu>
Charlie_Gibbs@mindlink.bc.ca (Charlie Gibbs)
ChazL@county.lmt.mn.org (Chaz Larson)
Doug.Landauer@Eng.Sun.COM (Doug Landauer)
Frank Stuart <fstuart>
ICJPS@ASUVM.INRE.ASU.EDU
IQTI400@INDYCMS.IUPUI.EDU (macphil)
James Petts <pettsj@visigoth.demon.co.uk>
John G Dobnick <jgd@csd4.csd.uwm.edu>
Volker.Kaechele@quattro.stgt.sub.org (Volker Kaechele)
ae@sei.cmu.edu (Arthur Evans)
alanb@sdl.mdcbbs.com (Alan Braggins)
bruno@broue.rot.qc.ca (Bruno Majewski)
christo@bcarh803.BNR.CA (Mark Christopher)
chuck@cco.caltech.edu (Charles M. Higgins)
deand@bcarh823.BNR.CA (Dean Dillabough)
ecmtwhk@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz (Thomas Koenig)
edcrwfrd@unlv.edu (Edward Crawford)
gurgle@netcom.com (Pete Gontier)
hugh_davies.wgc1@rx.xerox.com
ibmpa!obelix.ncs.mainz.ibm.com!fuzzy@ibminet.awdpa.ibm.com (Thomas Braunbeck)
jgd@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (John G Dobnick)
jlaiho@ichaos.nullnet.fi (Juha Laiho)
john@newave.mn.org (John A. Weeks III)
jones@pyrite.cs.uiowa.edu (Douglas W. Jones,201H MLH,3193350740,3193382879)
lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
lorc!lowen@apple.com (Lamar Owen)
lstowell@pyrnova.mis.pyramid.com (Lon Stowell)
olt@elwood.isgs.uiuc.edu (Scott Olt)
pdt@munta.cs.mu.OZ.AU (Peter David THOMPSON)
peter@taronga.com (Peter da Silva)
pgut1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Peter Gutmann)
ray@nmsb.larc.nasa.gov
richg@hatch.socal.com (Rich Greenberg)
rupert@europa.inmos.co.uk (Rupert Pigott (PFUE))
saustin@bbn.com (Steve Austin)
smiley@akasha.eng.hou.compaq.com (Colin Smiley)
terry@spcvxb.spc.edu (Terry Kennedy, Operations Mgr.)
trip@cco.caltech.edu (Trip)
vargish@sura.net (Nick Vargish)
wcsjc@alfred.carleton.ca (John Coughlin)
zcookbruc@cc.curtin.edu.au

-----

In article <fstuart.920827112330@lab16.eng.auburn.edu> fstuart@eng.auburn.edu (Frank Stuart) writes:
>What does IBM *really* stand for?  Let me know if you know the answer and
>I'll post a summary in a week or two.
>
>To get the ball rolling, here are some suggestions from the Jargon File:
>
>   Inferior But Marketable
>   It's Better Manually
>   Insidious Black Magic
>   It's Been Malfunctioning
>   Incontinent Bowel Movement
>   International Business Machines
>
>I also like "Incredibly Boring Machines".
>
>Frank Stuart           |   Slower traffic keep right.  |  Don't Panic
>fstuart@eng.auburn.edu |   MMMMMmmmmm lutefisk.        |  Never moon a werewolf
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers