From: std2002@decit.if.uidaho.edu (Stephen Gamache)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: Re: relationship
Date: 15 Dec 92 08:39:11 GMT
Reply-To: std2002@if.uidaho.edu
Organization: University of Idaho, Idaho Falls EC

In article <Dec.13.00.13.18.1992.912@geneva.rutgers.edu>, stangem@columbia.dsu.e
du (Michele Stange) writes:   <<  Sorry I deleted some stuff  >>
|> I am a Christian who is engaged to be married to someone who just three
|> months ago proclaimed himself an "agnostic agnostic" meaning he wasn't
|> really sure what he believed.
|> after some lengthy discussions that Brian is really a Christian, but he has
|> his doubts as we all do at times.  Recently, I've added another worry to the
|> matter.  I am quite fundamental in my beliefs (an understatement according
|> to Brian) and Brian is well, um, more liberal, open-minded as it were.  We'
|> ve talked about having kids someday (the year 2030 by Brian's reckoning),
|> but anyway, my question is how can we raise children in a Christian home if
|> our beliefs are so far apart?  True, he is a Christian, but a LIBERAL
|> Christian - translated he's a Methodist (no insult intended).  He is
|> doubtful that there is an evil force to be reckoned with so therefore he
|> believes there is no hell - there is no reason for it in his thinking.
|> Thoughts?

Michele,

It's probably a real good idea that you are wary.  Marriage is a lifetime
commitment, so if you're not comfortable with it now you may have to be
committed  (ha, ha, ha, I had to say it  8-).   Before I got married, I was a
traditionalist Catholic and my wife was an Assembly of God  (wow, what a
difference).  As you probably guessed, we had our discussions on how to raise
any children (we currently have two, girl age 4, boy age 7).  Before, we
married I found the Holy Spirit (with the help of a few friends).  I then met
with a charismatic priest to discuss the thoughts going through my head.  Then
we (my wife and I) decided not to make any decisions until the time came.  Boy,
were we in for it.  Almost the entire nine months (or was it twenty months :-)
the subject was debated.  What we decided to do was comprimise.  Though this is
not really an option in your case, we both now attend the Methodist church
(sound familiar ;-)  I could still hang on to what is left of traditional
worship, and (since the Spirit is moving at our church) we still could feel the
Spirits presence.

Part of growing up in the turmoil of the transition for the Vatican I church
and the Vatcan II church was accepting other churches besides the Catholic
church.  I discovered that when the Bible refers to a church, He is not talking
about a physical building or an organization, but the people as the church.
That's how I accepted where we are raising our children.  My wife and I are
teaching the kids the beliefs of many different churches from Catholic to
Baptist to Methodist to Foursquare.  We are trying to point out both good and
bad to prepare them to make a choice when they are led to.  Being in Idaho, we
are also teaching them about the beliefs (dangers) of L.D.S. (Mormons),
Jehovah's Witnesses, etc.  If we only show them the good, how can they rightly
choose?

In closing (I hope I didn't bore you), I would ask myself, in prayer, if your
fiance' really is a Christian.  I'm not asking you to judge him, but maybe the
discernment of the Spirit can help you decide.  I know of a non-Christian
friend who loved her boyfriend enough that she pretended to be a Christian just
so she wouldn't loose him.  That marriage has been "interesting" to say the
least, and the betting odds are still 1:1 that it will break up.  Just ask, is
it worth it?  Will you be happy if he never becomes a true Christian?
(Remember, a marriage is not there for you to change someone to what you want
him/her to be)  If he is indeed a true Christian, can you accept his theology
and beliefs?  I and my wife will pray for both of you.  You are not alone, His
presence is overwhelming.  Accept His love and His intensions.  God bless you.

In Christ,

Steve

P.S.  Let me know how it goes.  srg.

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                                                    std2002@decit.if.uidaho.edu
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