From: samuels@matia.Stanford.EDU (Steve Samuels)
Subject: Meta-discussions, flaming, and FAQ's (oh my!) (was: FAQ)
Organization: Psychology Dept, Stanford Univ.
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 92 20:13:50 GMT

As a longtime Phishnetter (and Deadnetter before that) I have always
done my best to avoid meta-discussions (i.e. discussions about
discussions), flaming on posts, and asking FAQ (frequently asked
questions).  However, in an attempt to hopefully limit the number of
such posts in the future, I'm going to try to pass on some of my
thoughts here. Hopefully, you will accept this short-term loss in favor
of a long-term gain.

First of all, nobody, repeat NOBODY, can tell you what and how to post.
This being America (and USENET), you can pretty much do anything you
want (within reason, which I'm not going to discuss).  However, because
of that same fact, you have to be self-policing.  If everybody did
whatever the hell they wanted, the group gets way out of control and
becomes almost useless due to the shear number of ridiculous posts.  For
examples I point to the Dead-net, as well as others like the Star Trek
net (as I'm told).

So here are a few suggestions/thoughts/ideas that I have that work real
well as heuristics for me:

1) Flaming is important!  

	It is both good, and useful!!  It lets someone know what they
did/said is inappropriate.  A good flame includes what you find
inappropriate and why, and hopefully contains little if any, direct
attack on personality, personal hygiene, and biological background.
HOWEVER, flaming someone on the net is almost always a useless waste of
time...  which leads to number 2

2) Never post when a direct email will suffice!

	Probably the most important rule of posting, and certainly for
flaming.  Ask yourself if this post is interesting to the net as a
whole, or simply the person you are responding to.  Nine times out of
ten, a flame should be emailed: a) it will get the person's personal
attention, rather then be one of many posts b) the person will not have
to defend themselves in open forum, and thus is more likely to be
convinced by you, instead of becoming protectively entrenched in their
position c) most of us don't care to read any diatribe (and some gentle
people become really hurt by the notion of flaming in general d) we are
NOT impressed by your flaming ability and clever use of vindictive
composition  e) will your comment settle the issue once and for all, or
just add fuel to the fire?  If you think the former, you're probably
wrong... everybody wants the last word.

3) Request email replies for specific information.

	If you want some info on something, that probably everyone
knows, ask for email responses.  That way you don't generate 15
responses like the recent Llama chorus lyrics request.  Also, make sure
you offer the response to anyone who would like to also have that info.
If you get enough requests for the information, perhaps a posting of
findings is proper.  Otherwise, get you info (and therefore you get the
15 responses) and then send it to those who also wanted it.

4) Avoid multiple postings by not answering a question immediately.

	How many times have we seen 15 responses to a question that's
already in the FAQ file?  When someone (usually a newcomer) asks a
question that has already been discussed, don't respond that minute.
See if anyone else answered it already.  First decide if email is the
best response.  If you think it's a good idea to post a response, at
least read the rest of the list, or even better, wait a day to see if
someone responded.

5) Newcomers are people too! (FAQ and subscribe/unsubscribe)

	It is NOT someone's fault just because they are a newcomer.  How
could they know the Llama lyrics problem had been discussed to death?
Have some patience for goodness sakes, try to put yourself in their
shoes.  For example, how is it possible that a newcomer would know what
the FAQ even is?  The great irony is that we've set up a system whereby
the only people who know the answers know where the answers are located!
Only someone who is familiar with USENET even knows that most groups
have an FAQ file.  Our group is very likely to attract people who have
never been involved with it before, and therefore have no knowledge of
netiquette.
	Because of this reason, I'm directing this post to YOU who are
already on the net!  Someone who subscribes next week may never see this.
This person is _guaranteed_ to ask an FAQ.  It's important they we
handle that person as a peer, and not a subordinate.  BTW, this also
covers people who subscribe to the list rather than the "request"
address.  How the heck are they to know?  If they knew about the
request-site, they'd use it!

6) Be specific

	Remember you're typing, not speaking.  Because of this many
_obvious_ things to you are not obvious to you're audience.  That's why
we have the smiley ( ;^) ) characters, to denote sarcasm or humor.  A
perfect example of being ambiguous was someone who wrote, "*I* always
thought the words were...."  Someone else was upset at the fact that
this person had clearly set themselves up as an authority due to the
emphasis on the "*I*", and that they were even wrong!  I (and I believe
the author as well) took "*I*" in a self-deprecating way, to mean more of
a "well here's one lowly opinion, take it for what its worth.  Notice
that these two construals of the writing are _direct_opposites_!  But,
if we heard the person speak, it would be easy to tell exactly which one
he meant.  Beware of ambiguity, and use smileys!


7) Trim the post you're responding to as much as possible.

	If you're reacting to one line, don't include the whole post,
edit out what you don't need.  One thing to beware of though, is taking
things out of context.  Also make sure you attribute the quote to the
right person.  It gets a little tricky when you're responding to a
response to a response to a response...

8) Try to avoid long meta-discussions and long off-topic discussions

	There's nothing wrong with a meta-post (such as this) or an
off-topic thread.  However, when there are twenty ongoing messages
between 2 people, most of the community grows tired of it.  As usual,
take it to email.  In that vein, please respond to this meta-post via
email unless you have something which you think is important to the
whole community.  [Telling me I'm some pompous, self-involved,
net-dictator is probably not important to everyone else.  Email me, eh?
and we'll discuss why you didn't read (10) and what species I think your
mother is.]

9) Avoid "Me, too" and spelling correction posts.

	Boy, if there's one thing that really ticks me off it's the
number of people who find it important to post something that adds
absolutely nothing to the community like a "me, too!"  And it so often
happens that these two word posts are accompanied by a completely
untrimmed article and a 20 line .signature.  If there's a debate about
something, add to it!  If there's a mixed reaction to a show, tell us
how you felt.  We've already seen the first article, we don't need to
see it again.  And please, never post to tell someone they spelled
something wrong or their grammar is incorrect.  Email them.  That way
you can get their four-letter response personally.  [Yeah, this is me
griping, but what the heck, everybody has one pet peeve].

10) To your own self be true.

	These are _my_ heuristics, for _me_.  I don't insist that you
adopt them, nor will I ever try to enforce them.  If they seem like good
ideas to you, by all means use or adapt them for your use.  I developed
them from netiquette readings, psychology, common sense, and common
courtesy.  Flames and discussions of who the father of my child-to-be is
should be emailed.

HammaH

"We're going to assume a few things about reality.  One, it exists.
That's not a necessary assumption, but I find it comforting."
						-Ralph Noble