From: jsw@cray.com (Jon S. Wood)
Subject: Re: Unfounded Allegations Of Sexism
Reply-To: jsw@cray.com
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 14 Dec 92 11:35:47 CST

In article 13142@walter.cray.com, daw@cray.com (Dave Wright) writes:
>In article <1992Dec11.150608.3921@vicorp.com> mc@vicorp.com (Mark Charalambous) writes:
>>bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com (J H Woodyatt) writes:
>>
>>>The kind of power we're talking about here is really power of when and
>>>how divorce is to take place.  It strikes me as evidence of great
>>>naivete that you really don't seem to understand how much more power a
>>>husband can wield against his wife in most cases simply by threatening
>>>divorce than a wife can wield over her husband, and the reason for
>>>that stems from the answer to the question above.
>>
>>Eh?
>>
>>From what I've seen, the _typical_ situation when a separation is imminent
>>is for the women to go to court while the husband is at work and get a 
>>restraining order on the husband granting her temporary custody of the children
>>and usually requiring the husband to immediately vacate the home. 
>>Also _typically_ the husband has a fulltime job and cannot use these tactics 
>>himself to get the divorce off and running in the direction favorable to him.
>>
>
>In my case, my wife knew that if we divorced she would get the house, the
>kids and half my income. I spent three years with her extorting me for
>money (even though she worked) by threatening divorce. She would say if
>I didn't give her what whe wanted, she would have me thrown out of the
>house, take my income and find a new father for my kids. What did she
>want $400/wk, me working 4 hr days, and her to go to the bars 4 nights a
>week, and for her to have boyfriends(adultery) over whenever she wanted.
>And her to have no responsibilities to the kids. There is no way that
>anyone can convince me a man has more power in a family. My X would even
>call the police to have me thrown out of the house, but I had done nothing
>except to say we could not afford her spending whatever she wanted without
>any responsibility. I have never heard of a man threatening divorce to
>establish authority in family matters. I hav heard many stories of the
>women threatening to sic the system after the husband if he stands up for
>what is best for the family. My X also tried to get a restraining order
>on me to help her case. I WAS NEVER ABUSIVE IN ANY WAY. SHE WAS THE
>AGRESSOR and I was trying to be RESPONSIBLE. SHe had been listening to
>her femi-nazi support network that contibuted to the breakup instead of
>helping the family work things out. She expects all parental rights with
>NO RESPONSIBILITY.
>


  Interesting paragraph, David. My story is about the same, including
our employer. 

 For anyone to suggest a 'threat of divorce' is used by men as a way
of controlling a spouse over matters is not living in the 80's / 90's. 
Draconian child support guidelines and divorce (no-fault is really
no-fault for momma) law practices make the threat of divorce a 
women only option. 

 No feminist can explain to me how more than 85% of divorces are filed
by women and still claim 'economic deprivation' as a result? The argument
doesn't add up. Draconian guidelines are nothing more than robbery of men 
and a financial boon to women. Having your cake and eating it too is
what the feminist wants. Personal responsibility to a feminist is
relying on a man. Hence, I respect very few feminists. The one's I
do respect don't understand what it is or what a feminist stands for.


Xref: sparky alt.dads-rights:3024 alt.abortion.inequity:6051 alt.child-support:4010