From: sl859@cc.usu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh,rec.arts.comics.misc
Subject: LNH:Origin of Ultimate Ninja (repost)
Date: 15 Dec 92 14:27:50 MDT
Organization: Utah State University

****
Here it is!  The very first issue of Ultimate Ninja!  Yes this is how
he came to be.  I just thought this would be a nice holiday treat.  
Keep in mind this took place in the middle of Cry.Sig, which was pretty
chaotical(sp!?)  So you will have to wonder about some of the references
if you weren't here during the end of the summer...

Anyhow,  enjoy...
					wReam...
**************************************************************************



wReam watched the goings on sown below.  His Modem really sucked!  And with
the family lifting the phone occasionally, frustrations were running high!  
All day long he had antecipated becoming either Master wReam or Wizard wReam
champions of justice ready to whip the LNH/LNV into shape as only he knew
how, but his antecipated in was a hoax.  There was no such .gif as Acton Lord
in the ftp site wuarchive.wustl.edu!  Not that it would have garanteed him 
immortality!  Wuarchive is the last place to put something if you want it
to stay there!  No!  Wuarchive is always being cleaned up!  Hoping to obtain
a gif version of Acton Lord he could modify it and create his own self in
its place, but no!  Everywhere the net was becoming more and more apart!

	wReam knew he had to get into the Earth-VR, because he demanded 
revenge on that scoundrel Spelling Boy, who had vexed him sorely!  He had
a plan on how to stop Spelling Boy, but no means of entry into the realm 
of his clutches.  And moving pawns would never extinguish the fool-hero's
attack!  Then a streak of Deductive Logic Man struck wReam squarely.  In 
the comics I would need something that would guarantee immediate success!
Something every fanboy would look to and buy 7000 copies of wReam's first
apearance as a hero on the net!  Master wReam was simply too intellectual
for the drivling fanchildren, and Wizard wReam was too deep and any character
based on magic was destined to be canned within a run of 60 issues!  Why 
that left him with only a few other options.  "Net Star, Deductive Logic Man,
and Captain Coredump... Right?  But Net Star is too wimpy and whiny to make
a hero that could strike fear into the hearts of the other villains.  Acton 
Lord must be brought to justice and Net Star would only provide him with a 
good laugh.  Even though laughter is important it doesn't capture villains."
wReam thought so loudly he had to put quotation marks around it! He continued,
"Deductive Logic Man is simply too smart for the average reader.  And 
Captain Coredump, while most powerful would not be affective against non-Unix 
programmers!, Nope.  Gotta be something guaranteed to attract attention to
myself so that the readers will be satisfied, but at the same time shifty 
enough be able to be a character to fit my liking.  More powerful than a
loco... nah, he's dying and I don't plan to do that!"  Then it came to him
like a revelation to a gospel preacher...  I know the perfect hero.
	But now I must prepare if I want to be able to defeat the evil that
lurks within.  wReam ran down the street to the maple trees.  He began
to pluck the tree of all the helicopter-like seed sheathes that adorned the
trees quite abundantly.  Then when having what he deemed to be enough, wReam
made one final stop in his back yard at the red maple.  The sheathes there are
bloody and dark red.         Then returning with a white sheet and a black
bandanna wReam entered the net as a new persona...

	A new hero, crushed through the barriers of VR and in a flash of white
smoke stood a new ever-imposing hero.  He sneaked through the carnage and
rubble of the damaged RAC universe.  Its very fabric was shreaded and must have
been why wReam could enter in this new form without much protest from anyone.
Then the persona located his first target.  
	"Spelling Boy!  Bullier of the helpless!  You must pay for your sins!
You will no longer torment the nets, harassing the users!  Your days are 
OVER!"
	Spelling Boy turned to see a medium build with no significant features
visible because he was wrapped in one of those strange oriental martial arts
costumes...  "Who are you and who's grandmother did I offend this time!?"
He smirked cynically, as if this hero was just one of a very long line of
heroes he had disposed of.  
	"Fiend!  You Have No Honor!  I am ULTIMATE NINJA!!!"  Ultimate Ninja 
withdrew a fist full of seed pods and prepared his attack.
	"Why aren't those the helicopter-like seed sheathes of a maple-like
tree???  Surely you jest!  You pose no threat to me!  I am Spelling Boy!"
	Ultimate Ninja let the fistfull fly at an observing small-time villain
named CannonFodder.  CannonFodder was thrashed so horrifickly(sp?) that it was
only shown in silhouette (sp?).  "You will be destroyed (sp?) by the power of
NINJA BUSH!!! Just as it disembowelled (sp?) this poor cretin (sp?), 
Spelling Boy!(sp?)" (Cannon Fodder was really small time, in
fact he had never really been seen doing anything wrong, but he died an awful
lot in demonstration of some new hero's powers... or to cause a mental anguish
plot to happen when a hero was pushed to killing, but no one really felt too
bad since he was always back in one form or another ready to be used as death
in the future... (See the Original Star trek for more apearances of
CannonFodder))  But tho(sp?) Ninja bush was most impressive it was nothing like
ultimate terror that Spelling Boy felt as he attempted to catch the Ultimate
Ninja by his own words...  He couldn't touch them!  They were protected!
	"NOOOOO! Not the Dreaded (sp?) disclaimer!?"  cried Spelling Boy in
utter anguish.  The Ultimate Ninja nodded and moved in for the kill.
Now uninhibited (sp?) to articulate(sp?) or gesticulate(sp?) Ultimate Ninja
did not hesitate (sp?) to alliterate (sp?).  Spelling Boy withdrew in 
unconceilable (sp?) terror!  Ultimate Ninja launched a fistful of Ninja Bush
in Spelling Boy's Direction, but in another part of the net someone foolishly
spelled something wrong.  This extra boost of energy permitted (sp?) 
Spelling Boy to barely escape utter anihilation(sp?)!
	"I'll Catch you when you LEAST expect it!  And then I will Triumph!"

	Ultimate Ninja scoffed at the Spelling Boy's little threat.  Perhap's
he was a threat to some but the genius of wReam had protected Ultimate Ninja
from Spelling Boy's chidings (sp?).  Now it was time to take on the fiend that
had perpetuated this chaos beyond natural...  Acton Lord.  He was in the midsts
of a duel with his good/evil twin Sig Lad/Action Lord/SpellChecker, in a most
unstable dimension.  The Letter Page was not a good place to be since the
posting was getting extremely long and that would mean only one thing...  The
Letter Page Dimension would be compromised!  Soon there would be nothing left
of the dimension and both Acton and Action Lords would be Crushed into
oblivion.  Ultimate Ninja thought to himself in quotes...

			with BIG spaces and Indentations!

		"  Hmmmmm.  If this becomes too long the  ruthless Acton
Lord will be Crushed into nothingness!"  

	Double spacing and doing a series of back handsprings Ultimate Ninja
moved toward the dimensional boundaries...
		The got further and further away.  He could see the two duking
it out, but could not tell who was who, so he
hit the
return key
a few more
times...
(benefits of being 
wReam... in disguise!)
JUST THEN ULTIMATE NINJA WAS ACCOSTED BY CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE, WHO WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE DEAD!!!
IN A FLASH!   he was./
The Letter page kept shrinking!
			Ha!  That ought to do it! There is no way they
can escape!  I will now go about my other
business and leave them foolishly unguarded!  

	To Ultimate Ninja's delight it was not his idea but Cliche Dude had
snuck up from behind!!
	Ultimate Ninja let loose a barrage (sp?) of Ninja Bush on the hapless
Cliche Dude.  Injurred and fleeing, he cried!  "Curses! Foiled Again!  I'll
Be Back! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I'll make you pay!  I'll make them all Pay!!"
	Ultimate Ninja followed the poor creature with his eyes, until
he heard a "CCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!"
(sp?) The Letter Page Dimension was NO more!   Acton Lord was Dead and Gone!
						
	Ultimate Ninja turned to inspect the once open portal only to see
a bit of yellow smoke.  It was true the whole dimension had imploded.  All
in the time Ultimate Ninja had his back turned to best Cliche Dude!  

	Too Bad.  I really related to Sig Lad, but the Acton Lord had to be
stopped, and I am sure he would have liked it that way...

							wReam...
					              Ultimate Ninja

P.S.  As Ultimate Ninja prepared to retire that night, and head back as
wReam he felt certain he would need to return home soon, after all he was
out of NINJA BUSH, but upon looking in his Ninja Bush  Carrier he noticed
it was full, of course then he realized that in comics the heroes never 
run out of ammunition!

Are Acton Lord, Sig Lad/Action Lord/Spellchecker, Spelling Boy, Cliche Dude,
Romantic-Innuendo(sp?), and CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE ALL REALLY DEAD?!?

(Probably not, but boy did this issue ever get the sales!!!)
	
   
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