From: lwall@netlabs.com (Larry Wall)
Subject: Re: "Moonraker" -- fact or fiction?
Organization: NetLabs, Inc.
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 00:00:55 GMT

In article <2312@newsserver.cs.uwindsor.ca> bouche2@server.uwindsor.ca (BOUCHER DAVID            ) writes:
: In article <1hjhhgINN7q0@news.cerf.net> eidetics@nic.cerf.net (Eidetics Int'l) writes:
: 
: [Stuff about how the James Bond books were really romans a clef trying
: to warn the public about secret machinations of David Rockefeller (aka
: Goldfinger) et al., deleted]
: 
: And we mustn't forget Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang, Fleming's warning about the
: eminent decline of the American auto industry, disguised as a children's
: story about a flying jalopy.  I'm surprised too that Doctor Beter did not
: mention the obvious connection between "Octopussy" and the current AIDS 
: epidemic.

That's because dear Doctor Beter was ALMOST as stupid as the people in
charge, who REALLY know what's going on but somehow manage to IGNORE
the whistleblowers like Doctor Beter.  (Thank GOODNESS none of them
read Usenet.  (Though some of them WRITE Usenet, under VARIOUS NAMES,
pretending they're on our side...))  Anyway, after Ian Fleming was
LIQUIDATED because the idiots in charge FINALLY figured out that he
wasn't working for anybody (except for the Seven Eleven cartel, which
is how he got the idea for agent 117 (which the typist mistyped as 007
(to the eternal mystification of all but Cobol programmers)))...now
where were we, oh yes, after Fleming was DONE IN, he passed the torch
on to Tom Clancy, who rose up to fill the gap by pulling his FINGER out
of the DIKE, so to speak:

The Hunt for Red October was really about the Cosmosphere pilot who
    DEFECTED to the Goodyear company in 1946, which is how we REALLY
    won the Space Race, and ENSURED that no one would EVER NUKE a major
    sporting event again, after that little problem regarding the World
    Surfing Championship at Bikini.  The SUPPOSED earthquake that shook
    the World Series was really a Cosmosphere firing a WARNING SHOT
    across the bow of Russia's orbital Mind Infiltration Radar, aka
    MIR.  Be thankful that the Cosmosphere WAS ONLY set to stun...

The Sum of All Fears was actually ABOUT the incident in which the newest
    pilot of the Goodyear Cosmosphere lit up her CIGARETTE at the wrong
    moment (yes, helium is flamable) and incinerated the Rose Bowl just as
    Stanford was about to throw the LONG BOMB.  This was, of course, kept
    totally secret, hidden under the PERPETUAL PALL of Pasadena smog, and
    explained to next of kin as a mere Caltech prank.  The fact that you
    never see the smog on TV just PROVES that the images are totally
    synthesized.  (Why else do you think Caltech has a Cray?  We already
    KNOW how Cosmospheres work, except for those of us that don't, or DO
    and don't know that we do...)

A Clear and Present Danger was really about the American Tobacco Industry.
    The SYMBOLISM of the thinly-wrapped bomb is all too evident, not to
    mention the part about LIGHTING UP the target, and all the
    preachiness about collateral (aka SECOND HAND) damage.  The fact that
    tobacco is a DRUG is, of course, intended to lead you toward
    the obvious misinterpretation, and direct your attention away from
    the Rose Bowl COVERUP...

The Cardinal in the Kremlin was not, as has been WIDELY SPECULATED,
    about corruption at Stanford arising from the sudden need to hire a
    PROFESSIONAL football team, but was actually about the largely
    unsuccessful effort to rid Rockefeller Center of PIGEON DROPPINGS,
    not to be confused with pigeon stools, which is what stool pigeons
    sit on when they're telling SECRETS about the Bolsheviks...

And, of course, though NOBODY understood this at the time, Patriot Games
    was really about Charles and Di...

Hard to believe, I know...

But all you have to do is look at all the Clancy CLONES out there to see
HOW HARD the Rockefellers are working to have him REPLACED, just like they
replaced Doctor Beter, and John Paul I, and Charles, and Di, and ME!!!

Which is, of course, why I know about all this.

Yours truly, depending on who you are,
Larry Wall
lwall@netlabs.com