HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dtasman@dante.nmsu.edu (Dan Tasman)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Organization: New Mexico State University
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 04:29:44 GMT

In article <1992Aug31.145217.202595@uctvax.uct.ac.za> rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za  
writes:
> So, chaps - enough of the Polish jokes already!  8-|
> 
> Here a sampling of some American jokes (from one who has lived there, milked
> the system, and escaped, sane).
> Enjoy.  8-)  I did.

(American "jokes" deleted)

> |  South Africa                   |                                       |

'Nuff said.

--
   Dan Tasman                                       dtasman@dante.nmsu.edu
                                                     molson@rever.nmsu.edu
   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
   "I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree
    Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
                                                                Ogden Nash
From: prem@prem.lbl.gov (Shirdi R. Prem)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny sign
Date: 27 Aug 1992 19:41:39 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory
Reply-To: prem@prem.lbl.gov (Shirdi R. Prem)
NNTP-Posting-Host: prem.lbl.gov

In article <52200008@hpsgm2.sgp.hp.com> ngsw@hpsgm2.sgp.hp.com (Ng Soon Wei) writes:
>Read this somewhere :
>A sign found in front of a urinal in the toilet of a hotel says :-
>WE AIM TO PLEASE; YOU AIM TOO, PLEASE !

	Let me refresh your memory a bit.....

		You read it right here on rec.humor. 
		I posted the same thing last week...........  :-)

	ps
	Do you know anything about all those Woody Allen's next movie
	stuff that keeps getting posted all the time....  :-)

	Prem!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mcvey@mpr.ca (Iain McVey)
Subject: Re: Final Analysis
Organization: MPR Teltech Ltd., Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 22:10:51 GMT

In article <1992Aug31.165251.14809@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>Dear rec.humor netters,
>
>    Since this is the last article I will post to rec.humor, I thought
>I might sum up some of my experiences from the flame war.
>
>Conclusion: some of rec.humor netters did not get past puberty.

Wah.

- Iain -
-- 
Iain McVey (mcvey@mpr.ca)    | Kodachrome, gives us those nice, bright colours,
Software Designer            | Gives the greens of summers,
MPR Teltech Ltd.             | Makes you think all the world's a sunny day.
8999 Nelson Way, Burnaby, BC | - Paul Simon
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bluesky@.cray.com (Bob Beaton)
Subject: non-ethnic joke
Originator: bluesky@ferris
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Distribution: na
Date: 28 Aug 92 15:38:45 CDT

Question:	How do you keep a POLACK busy???


























From walter.cray.com!timbuk.cray.com!uunet!ftpbox!mothost!lmpsbbs!marios Fri Aug 28 15:31:51 CDT 1992
Article: 58365 of rec.humor
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish
From: francis@node_4b450.dadd.ti.com (Francis Ngoh)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 31 Aug 92 15:11:36 GMT
Organization: none

In article <1992Aug28.164326.18511@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>
>"Jesus is hanging on the cross and down below at the bottom
>of the hill, Peter is mourning the loss of their saviour and leader.
>Suddenly he hears a faint voice calling to him..."Peter....Peter"
>and he turns and starts to run up the hill toward Jesus on the cross.
>Before he can get to the top the Roman soldiers shew him away and,
>dejected, he goes back down the hill."
>
>
>I was exactly referring to filth like this, anyone that can post
>a joke like this, I know that the person has no morals, and is
>willing to do anything to make a hit. I have heard religious jokes
>but this is cynic, calculated and out right blasphomous trying to
>degrade the suffering of Christ. I don't understand how all you
>Christians are just sitting back and allow this kind of stuff.
>


A joke is a joke  is a joke. If the gods that I worship like Lord Pollack and
Lord Confuscious aren't out of bounds so should others.
From: cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz (Phil Ross)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Shes So Fat
Keywords: fat, she, tofu
Date: Fri, 04 Sep 92 13:12:28 +1200
Distribution: World
Organization: The Hovel Bulletin Board System

> Seen on "The Last Boyscout"
> 
> Bruce Willis says:
> 
>       "She is so fat that when we have sex, I just slap her thigh and ride
>        the wave in."

Umm from another movie I can't remember the name:
    "She is so fat, when she goes to the Zoo, the elephants throw _her_
     peanuts!"

--
cybapunk@hovel.welly.gen.nz    X Phil Ross
cybapunk@tornado.welly.gen.nz  X Sysop of The Hovel BBS
cybapunk@sideways.welly.gen.nz X Author of Lords And Ladies, _THE_ BBS door!
     ... If at first you don't succeed, redefine success ...
From: ria@dash.udev.cdc.com (Richard Askew)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Writing Checklist
Date: 28 Aug 92 16:31:51 GMT
Organization: Control Data Systems Inc., London, UK.
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3

srd@ukc.ac.uk (S.R.Davies) writes:
: In article <1992Aug22.033235.13505@sdf.lonestar.org> rlosey@sdf.lonestar.org (Richard Losey) writes:
: 
: >>>12. A preposition is something you should never end a sentence with.
: >
: >That is a rule up with which I will not put.   :-)
: >
: >(Attributed to Winston Churchill)
: >
:      There have been several recent attempts to post this quote from
:  Churchill, none of which have got it quite right. Try :
: 
:      This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.
: 
:  Regards, Steve.

Also Attributed to Winston Churchill:

Winston Churchill started to speak in the House of Commons when he
was interupted by Bessy Braddock (a tyranical Battle-axe of an MP)
who said "You Sir, are drunk!"
To which he replied :-
"And you madam are Ugly! - But I shall be sober in the morning."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mfc1493@venus.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Subject: Re: Mom Jokes
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 21:18:00 GMT

>does anyone have any mom jokes like
>Get off the mom jokes.... i just got off of yours!!!!
>or 
>You might not recognize your mom when you get home... i shaved her back!!!!
> 
>Thanks
>John Blickensdorf

My favorite:

Your mother's armpits are so hairy it looks like she has Buckwheat 
in a headlock.

Ratboy

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sbale@netcom.com (Swamy S. Bale)
Subject: Another Quayle Joke .....
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 92 06:16:43 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

After GOP convention Danny got more confidence and wanted to show he
is the best spelling champion in the world. So he went to another school
in D.C and asked a third grader to write the name of the vice president.
The kid wrote "Dan Quayle". Our VP thought for a while, took
the chalk and inserted a "m" in between "a" and "n".

Hope you guys/gals enjoyed.

sbale
From: syspb@smartstar.com (Paul)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: How fat is she?
Keywords: fat, wife, ex-wife, elephant, blimp
Date: 31 Aug 92 18:25:23 GMT
Article-I.D.: smartsta.1992Aug31.182523.18758
Organization: SmartStar Corp. / Signal Technolgy Inc.

My wife is so fat that whenever she sits on my face, I can't hear the 
phone ring!

She's so fat that she can kick start a 747 !

My ex-wife was so fat, she died in the fire of our house and there was
a smell of french fries.

My wife is so fat, if she was 2 feet taller, she'd be spherical.

My wife is so fat, one day she hurt herself by walking on her belly-button.

My ex-wife was so fat, she was kidnaped by a canibal tribe... They all
died of cholesterol.

My wife is so fat, last time she was getting a tan at the beach, the 
GreenPeace people tried to put her back into water. 

My wife is so fat that a picture of her would weigh 15 pounds.

My ex-wife was so fat that she couldn't seat.

My wife is so fat that when she wants me to help her putting her belt, I
use the car. (I even ran out of gaz once).

My wife is so fat that she's even more fat than my ex-wife.

She's so fat, whenever she wants to haul ass, she has to make 2 trips.

She's so fat, the other day she was standing on the corner, and
the cops came by and said "Hey, break it up!"

Her butt is so big, you can even see it from the front.

When we went to the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

My freinds call her the Bad Year Blimp.

She has her dresses made by Barnum and Bailey.

The other day she went for a walk, and it registered 6.5 on the Richter scale.

She tried NutriSystems, but they gave her her money back.

I kept trying to leave her, but I couldn't escape her gravitational pull.

She's so fat, she even has her own asteroid belt.

When you do 69 with her, you better have a snorkel hanging out of her ass,
otherwise you'll be dead meat.
From: apdmd@usho49.hou281.chevron.com (D.M.Dunbar)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Political Jokes
Date: 25 Aug 92 18:44:25 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Chevron

The problem with political jokes is that so many of them get elected.
-- 
David Dunbar {phone ( 713 596 2083 );
              email ( apdmd@usho49.hou281.chevron.com );
         snail mail ( P.O.Box 42832, Houston, Tx. 77242-2832 ); }
The CPTC tank; we are all in this together.
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: Oral Roberts, Censorship. (was Re: Polack Joke)
Followup-To: /dev/null
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 19:19:01 GMT

In article <1992Aug26.183314.2364@lsl.co.uk> snail@lsl.co.uk writes:
>Mainly true, however a black rap artist (I forget his name) released an album
>called "Cop Killer" I think. Or it had a track on the album called "Cop Killer"
>after great pressure form the LAPD (I beleive it was the LAPD, certainly a
>police department... I read this a week or two back in a UK music mag). So 
>thats a first step on the road to censorship. How's about all the anti rock
>and anti heavy metal stickers that had to be put on US records by bands like
>WASP and SLAYER etc. Just increased sales rather than put people of buying it.
>But then again this was enforced by the bible bashers over there (who I beleive
>are more interested in lining their own pockets than saving souls (sic)....
>anyone remember Oral Roberts? what a joke))
>
>Ciao baby
>
>snail@lsl.co.uk      
>
>Interviewer: "What's the most satisfying thing about being in
>              The Sisters Of Mercy?"
>Eldritch:    "When I collapse at the end of it..."
>Interviewer: "Do you mean that?"
>Eldritch:    "Yeah...."
>
>Vote for Bill Clinton. Vote for Bill Clinton. Vote for Bill Clinton.

Yeah, you know ALL about it from 8000 miles away.

-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH1/2849
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-3318
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
From: beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca (Denis Beauregard)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: How fat is she?
Date: 31 Aug 92 20:19:55 GMT
Organization: Institut de recherche d'Hydro-Quebec, Varennes, Canada

She's so fat she get a ticket for walking the wrong way in a one way.

She's so fat she doesn't sit, she spreads.

Your feet are not that big, but, please will you remove your shoes
so that your dad take the car out of garage!

What an hose!  I mean, what a nose (but where's the difference for you?)

I'm so afraid of crowd that I have no mirror on wall at home.

I'm so lonely, I get more wrong numbers that personal calls at home.

-- 
  \_\    Denis Beauregard  *  internet:beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca
 /   \   Genealogiste officiel : Beauregard/Jarret/Jarest/Vincent
J   __>  Un Quebec renouvele dans une Amerique renovee
\_.-===                                                  Opinions ? Et pis non !
From: spt@waikato.ac.nz (Simon Travaglia)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Where are you whimp?
Date: 2 Sep 92 21:43:04 +1200
Organization: University of Waikato Computer Centre

In article <1992Sep2.022420.2052@dartvax.dartmouth.edu>, kyrie@coos.dartmouth.edu (Thomas S. Marlowe) writes:
> marios@ecs.comm.mot.com (mario smarduch) writes:
>> 
>>Listen you whimp, if you're going to send threats at least leave
>>your mailing address, or are you too scared?
>>            rshaw@serum.kodak.com 
> 
> Same fucker threatened me.
> Oh well, whatever it takes for him to get a hard-on.

Shit, this is a good one.  But I heard it differently.  It went something
like "Two guys go into rec.humor.  The first one turns to the other and
says, `have you seen my sense of humor?'"

It's a classic.

   +-----------+  Terminal Sticker: "My other terminal is a chunk of shit too"
   |+----+     |  +----------------------------------------------------------+
   ||    |     |  | Simon Travaglia, Computer Services, University of Waikato|
   |+----+VT100|  | Priv. Bag, Hamilton, New Zealand. spt@grace.waikato.ac.nz|
   +-----------+  +----------------------------------------------------------+

A friend will refrain from telling you he picked up the same amount of life
 insurance coverage you did for the half the price and his is non-cancelable.
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.politics.clinton,talk.politics.guns
From: PA146008@utkvm1.utk.edu  (David Veal)
Subject: Re: Gun control (was Re: democratic platform)
Organization: The University of Tennessee, Knoxville
Date: Sun, 23 Aug 1992 21:50:42 GMT

In article <183135@pyramid.pyramid.com>
glambert@pyramid.com (George Lambert) writes:

>
>In article <#a9msdc.crisp@netcom.com> crisp@netcom.com (Richard Crisp) writes:
>>
>>I personally believe that if we disarm America, some day a few generations
>>down the road (or sooner if Socialists like Feinstein get elected Senator from
>>Califruitty) someone will declare themselves "President For Life". If we
>>ever find ourselves in that situation and are unarmed, we are in deep trouble.
>>That is the long and short of it.
>>
>OK, Dick, riddle me this:
>
>If your assertion is correct, how was the military backed coup of Gorbachev
>overthrown by an unarmed population?  Keep in mind that the conventional
>forces of the USSR were the largest of any nation in the world.

     Because the coup was not backed by the military.  Most of the units
defected to the local republics rather than follow the Soviet Union's orders.
If you look, the republics are still there, and the Soviet Union isn't.

     It still boggles my mind that so many people watched that on
television, saw Borris Yeltsein, and missed the tank he was standing on.

>The point is that your argument doesn't hold much water in light of recent
>events in the USSR, and a similar story can be told about how the British
>were forced from colonial rule in India.

     The British, when all was said and done, wanted to be nice people.  They
didn't round up anybody who might be a trouble-maker and shoot them in the
head.  If they had been, they'd have put a bullet in Ghandi's brain and
gone on with their lives.
     The British are not anything like, say tha Nazi's might have been in the
same situation.  They weren't prepared to use overwhelming physical force.

========================================================================
| David Veal  PA146008@utkvm1.utk.edu                                  |
|             University of Tennessee Division of Continuing Education |
========================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: damico@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (bill d'Amico)
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 17:49:10 GMT

In article <1992Sep1.030924.68100@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu> tes0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (THOMAS EDWIN SCHMIDLIN) writes:
> [ Jesus/Arnold Palmer joke deleted]
>
>After practicing for a while, Jesus is once again on the golf course, this
>time with Moses and an old man.  Jesus and Moses drive beautifully, landing the
>ball near the green on the par three hole.
>The old man drives, but it slices off towards the water trap.
>Just before it goes into the water however, a fish jumps and catches the ball
>in it's mouth, at the same instant an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish.
>The bird flys out over the green and the fish slips from it's talons.
>Flopping on the ground, the ball pops from the fishes mouth and rolls into the
>hole.  Jesus torns to the old man and says
>"You know dad, I really hate playing anything with you."

I always heard the punch line was:
"You'd think he wouldn't pull this sh*t when we've got money riding on it"

Anyway, ObJoke:
What do a perverted eskimo and a tupperware hostess have in common?

They both like a good tight seal!

--
bill d'Amico                  | God is a concept by which we measure
damico@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu | our pain. -- John Lennon
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ahmad@seas.gwu.edu (Aftab Ahmad)
Subject: Re: You're Sooo Ugly Jokes
Organization: George Washington University
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 17:14:35 GMT

In article <1992Aug27.211611.10954@cs.rose-hulman.edu> mgrmdk@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu writes:
>
>In article <1992Aug27.180135.2672@gtephx.UUCP> forda@gtephx.UUCP (Andrew  
>Ford @ AGCS, Phoenix, Arizona) writes:
>> In article <1992Aug22.000135.4666@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu>,  
>ejhupper@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu (Eric Huppertz) writes:
>> > 
>> > I could stick yo' head in some dough, and make me some go-RILLA  
>cookies!
>> > 
>> > I could put a piece of tracin' paper over yo' head, and draw me
>> > a MOOSE face!
>> > 
>> You're uglier than the south end of a north-bound horse!
>> 
>> You're so ugly, the doctor who delivered you didn't know which
>> end to slap!
>> 
>You're so ugly, the doctor slapped your mother instead!
>
 You're so ugly that doctor ran away before you were all out!


>Michael D. Kohlmeier			| Who cares if we die.  We die.
>Assistant Networking Manager		| Life Goes On.
>Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology	| My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter.
>mgrmdk@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu		| Underdog is my hero.


-- 
===============================================================================

There are four types of people in the world:

Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.polish
From: ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect)
Subject: Re: Polack joke
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Mon, 24 Aug 1992 03:04:44 GMT

>>>>Brett, your statements are very offensive to me - wheather you think
>>>>this is a joke or not you are just simply spreading hatred and
>>>>insults. As a community of intellectual's this cannot be tolerated
>>>>on the network and you should just simply stop posting this kind 
>>>>of crap; keep it to yourself. ALSO THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR 
>>>>SHOULD SEE TO THIS. 
>>>>
>>>  This is addressed to everyone out there who  really knows what they're 
>>>doing computerwise (I regret that I, myself, do not fall into this
>>>category).  Will someone please have the decency to write a program that
>>>will cause *every* message that is posted to the net to go thru mario's 
>>>personal box first.  That way we can all be assured that nothing of dubius
>>>taste of quality will be posted here.  Unfortunately, not all of us have
>>>mario's fine sensibility.  Fortunately, we do have mario to keep his eyes
>>>open for us and make sure that nothing untoward goes on on the net.
>>>
>>Watch out Jenny, Mario might get offended with what you wrote, next thing
>>you know, Nunzio and Bonzonono the Fetucini twins might come over and
>>do some redecoratin', Don Mario is a very sensitive guy, I hear he has
>>a cousin in the cement business :-)
>>
>>-ara(the lebanese.  "Hey Ahmed, drive around to the front and park the van
>>                     in front of the terminal.  Habib! don't forget to set
>>                     the Timer!!!"
>
>NA !!!!!! maybe not, first I have to see if Jenny''''''''''s worth,
>redecorating. 
>
>regards, 
>
>mario s.


I tip my Krepla to you Sir. (mork I think)
-ara
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: corrina@dvorak (Corrina Perrone)
Subject: Bumper Sticker
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 02:49:46 GMT



Seen in California:


"Will be President for food"


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jwj2@po.CWRU.Edu (Jermaster)
Subject: Re: Tom Swifties
Organization: Eastern & Ohio Railroad Company
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 01:29:56 GMT

How about:

"My father died," Tom said gravely.

Later,
-Jer
--
Jerry W. Jordak        Climb back in the cab, gonna be there 'till dark
a.k.a. Jermaster       We gotta keep movin' if we're gonna make a buck....
(jwj2@po.cwru.edu)                                                 -- BTO
From: ifaq570@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Allen Kitchen)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: American joke
Date: 4 Sep 1992 20:49:18 GMT
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin


	A Russian, a Frenchman, a Lawyer, and an American were all riding
on the train across Europe. Suddenly, all of them got into an argument about
which of their countries was better off thean the others.  
	Finally the Frenchman stood up, took one last bite of his bread, and
said loudly "In France, we all have so much bread, we can just throw it away!"
and he opened the window and threw the bread out the window.
	The Russian, not to be outdone, also stood up and said "In my 
motherland of Russia, we all have so much Vodka, we can just throw it away!"
With that he took a long drink from his bottle, opened the window, and tossed
the vodka out into the night.
	The American then stood up, opened the window, and without a word,
threw out the lawyer...

Allen Kitchen
ifaq570@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu
From: orenalex@bimacs.BITNET (Alex Oren)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: The REAL Rules
Date: 26 Aug 92 15:38:50 GMT
Organization: Math department, Bar-Ilan University, Ramat-Gan, ISRAEL


>>Hi everybody,
>>
>>We finally had someone to STAND up for men. But I guess his effort will be
>>in vain since the truth is "MALE is like a tree and FEMALE is the typhoon to
>>bring it down".
>
>Typhoon?  Did you say, typhoon?  Ah, ha ha ha ha!

No, I think it was supposed to br "tampon"


Adios.
From: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu (lawrence finkel cis stnt)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: nursery rhymes
Date: 27 Aug 92 18:30:19 GMT
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.

In article <goosen.21.714926403@cc.und.ac.za> goosen@cc.und.ac.za (Chris Goosen) writes:
>Hello there
>
>Little Miss Muffet
>Sat on her tuffet
>eating her curds and wey
>when along came a spider
>and sat down beside her
>so she beat it to death with her spoon.
>
>Cheers
>Chris

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and wey
when along came a spider
and sat down beside her
and said "What the fuck is a tuffet, huh?"
-- 
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
#                     Lawrence Finkel: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu                 #
#   "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."   #
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: miket@unislc.uucp (Michael Thompson)
Subject: Re: Funny sign
Reply-To: miket@unislc.UUCP (Michael Thompson,B2C04,4560)
Organization: Unisys, Salt Lake City
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 23:00:04 GMT

In article <1992Aug25.201923.22157@athena.mit.edu> sybok@athena.mit.edu (The Rifleman) writes:
>In article <78378@ut-emx.uucp> mike@leah.prc.utexas.edu (Michael Kline) writes:
>>In article <1992Aug23.152145.13930@ee.eng.ohio-state.edu> gan@sample-o.eng.ohio-state.edu writes:
>>>Here's one funny sign near a swimming pool,
>>>	
>>>"We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool"
>>>
>>I saw this at a friends house in his bathroom :
>>
>"Please don't throw cigarettes in our toilets; we don't shit in your
> ashtrays."

Yet another......

Please do not throw cigarettes into the urinal, it makes them soggy
and hard to light.
Newsgroups: rec.humor