HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: millerje@CS.ColoState.EDU (Jeff Miller)
Subject: Audience?
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 00:55:17 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Computer Science Department

So how does one become an audience member for Amazing Discoveries?  Heck, for
a free Juice Tiger/Auri/Flowbee/Blueblocker/etc. I'd pretend I was enjoying
myself.

-- 
 _____________________________________________________________________________
|                                                                             |
| "Nuke the unborn gay whales!" |  millerje@cs.colostate.edu  |  Jeff Miller  |
|_____________________________________________________________________________|
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: q482@hosp.med.umich.edu (AV)
Subject: Re: Blublockers
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.14 by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: q482@hosp.med.umich.edu (AV)
Organization: University of Michigan Math Dept
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 21:29:16 GMT







"About a dime."

I understand!!!   HA! Thanks for the confirmation.
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 12:04:47 EST
From: <SAH122@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: Re: spraypaint hair!

in <JWZ.92Nov23004152@thalidomide.lucid.com>, <jvz@lucid.com> writes:
>
>This one is amazing!  It's almost as zany as the SNL "Chia Hair" skit!
>
>"You WON'T look like a JERK."

I take it that this is referring to GLH Formula #9 (?).  But, did any of
you see the infomercial for the Million Dollar Hair.  I just saw it for
the first time last night.  Instead of spraying powder on your head, you
just sprinkle it on and rub it in.  Gotta love it!!!  This one even had
Diane from 'The Price is Right' as one of the hosts.  Plus, Buddy Ryan
(ex-Philadelphia Eagles coach <ha-ha> --> GO Dallas!!!) even came on and
let them use it on him.  Also, Julie McCullough (sp?) from 'Growing
Pains' and Playboy fame used it to cover up her blonde roots when she
changed her hair color.

This one definitely beats out GLH Formula #9.  The really funny part was
that they were both on at the same time last night....along with Sy
Sperling's 'Hair Club for Men'.  I love late night TV!!!!!!

Steve

sah122@psuvm.psu.edu             okay, maybe we can't play football
<insert standard disclaimer>     ......big deal.......
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: tjf2b@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU (Timothy Fox)
Subject: Re: Anthony Robbins
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 00:07:23 GMT

calabria@cheshire.oxy.edu  writes:
> 
> 	Has anyone else out there ever had a major (but short-lived) crush
> on Anthony Robbins, or am I the only one?  He's sooooo charismatic!
> Too bad he's married. :-(

Sorry, I'm partial to the host of "The Electric Dynamo."

I think it's the hair.

Tim
--
					    Timothy Fox |
			tjf2b@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU |
				     tjf2b@Virginia.EDU |
							|
From: caedmon@cats.ucsc.edu (Axeman)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: Re: jet stream oven
Date: 21 Nov 1992 02:16:39 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: am.ucsc.edu


doris@nimios.eng.mcmaster.ca (Doris Burns) writes:

>Does anyone have a jet stream oven?  Does it work well?  I'm
>interested in getting one as I ALWAYS rushed to make dinner!

>Doris

I have the original JetStream Oven!  It really is a brilliant invention, and
it does everything the commercial says.. "and more!".  Sorry i had to say that
.. My big complaint is that it's extremely loud (My blender is jealous) and
the big plastic dome thing is very easy to crack.  Once you crack the thing,
it it pretty much over and you have to buy a new one.  If you tape or glue it
up, the crack will just spoke out until the thing falls in pieces.  Maybe
you should check out those ones with the glass 'plate' thing for the top.

It's also hard to clean.  The black liner-pan is sharp (my Ginsu are jealous),
and I've many scars on my hands from washing the thing.

All in all, it's a really neat item to include in your kitchen lineup.  It
gets old quick, but not like a SnakMaster would - it's still useful.  I haven't
cooked a turkey in it or anything, but what I do cook (pillsbury bisquits,
microwave pizzas, potatoEs) turns out wonderful.

-jq
-- 
,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,
,;';,   caedmon@ucscb.ucsc.edu               Jeff Ishaq          .,;';,
,;';,   I am a meatball:  Bite me.           Guitar withdrawal!  .,;';,
,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,.,;';,
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: SNL
From: zitsky+@cs.cmu.edu (Mark Ryan Miller)
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 13:51:46 GMT
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon

By the way, the spoof was on Saturday Night Live.  Pretty funny!

--Mark
From: slambert@garnet.berkeley.edu
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: Re: topics for discussion
Date: 19 Nov 92 21:37:37 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: garnet.berkeley.edu

How about infomercials that don't even have a product:

Psychic Friends Network w/Dionne Warwick
That-Guy-Who-Says-You-Can-Buy-All-This-Real-Estate-with-NO-Collateral

etc.

--Steve

-- 
Stephen M. Lambert  | mu'(i) = mu"(i)     | lambert@mordor.cchem.berkeley.edu
Dept. of Chem. Eng. | for i = 1,2,...,c   | lambert@matahari.cchem.berkeley.edu
U.C. Berkeley       | at constant T and P | slambert@cmsa.berkeley.edu
(510) 642-3928      | (J.W. Gibbs, 1886)  | slambert@garnet.berkeley.edu
From: Terry.Parks@launchpad.unc.edu (Terry Parks)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: Re: Infomercial Favorites
Date: 23 Nov 92 03:37:04 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: UNC Office of Information Technology

I hate to admit it but I enjoy watching the show pitching hand hammered
woks. I don't exactly know why, but the host grabs my attention.
I guess I like the stream of facts he gives out, like how a shortage
of cooking fuel in densely populated China led to quick, meal-in-a-bowl
cooking and that the indents from the hammer blows provide the
required retaining friction for pulling up individual ingredients. It's
just like a PBS documentary to me. BTW, I never think of buying the junk.

On the laugh side, whenever I come across "you too can make millions
in wireless cable" I shout back "if there is so much easy money to
be made why the f*** arn't you out living the good life and not making
TV pitches about it?"  I liked the part I scanned through where this
guy was explaining that the reason banks etc. arn't providing the
funding is because they have made loans to the existing cable companies
and as such wish to keep them as monopolies--hence this great opportuinty
for the small investor to step in. As though banks don't give loans
to both Ford and GM or United and American or CBS and NBC. Like banks
stop giving out construction loans because more houses means lower
home prices and smaller home mortgages.

--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: petrop@vccsouth09.its.rpi.edu (Philip A. Petrocelli)
Subject: Re: Ron Popeil and the Cocaine Woman on healthy food additives
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 23:54:11 GMT

In article <By09Dp.GFC@news.cso.uiuc.edu> jeffo@uiuc.edu (J.B. Nicholson-Owens) writes:
>Notice how in that RONCO Food Dehydrator ad, they conveniently leave out that  
>Liquid Smoke and Soy Sauce are chock full of the crap that they claim they  
>don't want to eat?  That stupid phrase, "If you can't read it, don't eat it!"  
>is just wonderfully left out when that starving woman that's high enjoying her  
>cocaine high ("I love to eat!", "I just love to say it!") is sticking the meat  
>in that mixture of liquid smoke (what the hell is that crap anyhow?) and soy  
>sauce.

EASILY!!!!  That liquid smoke shit must take five years off your life as soon as u
get it to the CHECKOUT COUNTER!!!  Fuck.  That stuff must be VILE.  I always chuckle
to myself when I see that part of the Infomercial - and I've seen it like A THOUSAND
TIMES!!!!!

GO RON!

Phil, petrop@rpi.edu
From: lagman@CS.ColoState.EDU (annette)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: Re: hair cut machine (was Re: Blueblockers (was Re: topics for discussion))
Keywords: hair vacuum
Date: 18 Nov 92 20:20:22 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Colorado State University

In article <1992Nov18.153314.10921@mcs.anl.gov> hoffberg@medusa.aps.anl.gov (Mike G. Hoffberg) writes:
>When I first saw Wayne's World, I thought the hair cut machine was
>really funny.                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

	That would be a "Flowbee", and yes, this is my absolute
	favorite infomercial.  I have this fantasy of ordering 
	one, throwing a party and cutting everyone's hair, then
	returning it for my money back.  I haven't seen Wayne's
	World - how do they use this in the movie?
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: millerje@CS.ColoState.EDU (Jeff Miller)
Subject: Re: topics for discussion
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 10:58:53 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Colorado State University, Computer Science Department

In article <1992Nov19.213951.11344@lsa.umich.edu> gerald.b.ross@um.cc.umich.edu (Gerald Ross) writes:
>In  <1992Nov19.213253.11280@lsa.umich.edu>  q482@hosp.med.umich.edu (AV) writes:
>>
>> >    If you can think of any more,
>> > please post them, I'd like to keep
>> > track of as many of these things
>> > as possible...
>
>
>What about the Barbecue that uses newspapers. Yum!

YES!!! Starring Mike Ditka!  What a great ad!


-- 
 _____________________________________________________________________________
|                                                                             |
| "Nuke the unborn gay whales!" |  millerje@cs.colostate.edu  |  Jeff Miller  |
|_____________________________________________________________________________|
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: seed@joker.mil.ufl.edu (Steven Seed)
Subject: Amazing Discoveries - Where's Ion Long?
Organization: Machine Intelligence Lab, University of Florida
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 92 02:20:27 GMT

    Is there anyone out there who used to stay up to 4am every night to 
watch Amazing Discoveries when it first came out, like I did. Remeber
Ion (Eon,Ian -spelling?) Long. He was the greatest ! On Hashepur HP 9000,
the painting one and the food blender with the ring that whips air into
your deserts, he was so funny. Remeber him, the guy from England with the 
scruffy beard?
.
Steve
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: jeffo@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (J.B. Nicholson-Owens)
Subject: Who is that woman on the RONCO FD ad?
Reply-To: jeffo@uiuc.edu
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 20:44:39 GMT

What happened to that woman from the RONCO food dehydrator ad?  Seems
like she got ousted sometime between the FD and the spray-paint for
your head ad.

Was she a TV personality or just some nobody?

Take it easy,
-- 
-- Jeff (jeffo@uiuc.edu)
-- NeXTmail ok
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: volk@seas.smu.edu (Andrew Volk)
Subject: Re: Tom Vu - the Godfather! Sender:  olaf@casbah.acns.nwu.edu
Organization: School of Engineering and applied science; S.M.U.; Dallas, Tx
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 01:15:48 GMT

	Goods old Tom Vu. Did anyone else see the SNL takeoff on that? 
Of course, I think the classic infomercial of all time is the Flowbee. I wonder how many astronauts were lucky enough to get their hair cut with that!

 -Andy



Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: jeffo@uiuc.edu (J.B. Nicholson-Owens)
Subject: The Big Green Ignoramus Machine
Reply-To: jeffo@uiuc.edu (J.B. Nicholson-Owens)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 08:02:28 GMT

The Big Green Clean Machine, a.k.a., How Much Can We Insult Our Potential  
Customers and Still Make Money?

This ad is so directly insulting, I thought it was hilarious.  I've seen ads  
that are insulting in that they expect you to believe that something works when  
it doesn't, but how they talk to the people to whom they're selling this crap  
is pretty bad.  An example after they show the levels of dirt that came out of  
The Big 9x9 Room when the woman says, "And girls, what they're saying is..."  
can be translated into: "And for you ignorant women who I'll call children,  
what the pseudo-trusty man wearing the lab jacket is saying is that TBGCM works  
so much better than anything you do now, it's worth a lot of your money."

I love how that clown in the lab jacket is the one who gets to operate The Big  
White Scale Machine and how that not-so-helpful-hint woman is the one who gets  
to do the vaccumming work on The Big Dirty Floor Thing, even though it's the  
man standing next to her that is talking about the machine (the one who does  
that back-breaking labor of flicking the switch to turn The Big Green Ripoff  
Machine).

The best part of The Big TV Machines are the fools who try and convince you  
that you just can't live another day without something from which they can  
profit.
-- 
-- Jeff (jeffo@uiuc.edu)
-- NeXTmail welcome
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: wab@well.sf.ca.us (Doc Benzene)
Subject: Prolong
Organization: Hell Hole, Inc.
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 07:07:39 GMT


Has anyone seen the Prolong infomerical lately?  It came and
went, so to speak, rather quickly about a year ago.  It was a
sexual tonic for geriatrics.  No, I'm not making it up.  It
even had some actor who'd played a doctor on a TV series
hawking the stuff: Lots of testimonials by giggling old
couples, "Now I have to beat him off with a stick!", etc.

It was too funny to be true, but it was.  And I never got to
tape the damn thing because it was only on a few times.
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: Eli.Mantel@launchpad.unc.edu (Eli Mantel)
Subject: topics for discussion
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 02:19:25 GMT

Sheesh!  This group is already 3 days old, and (at least here) we have
only two posts.  There should be plenty of stuff to discuss:

	the canonical list of "Amazing Discoveries" episodes
	best cable channels to watch for infomercials
	product reviews
	knockoffs of informerical products available in
	  your local drugstore: are they any good?
	infomercial personalities
	getting paid for your suggestions to infomerical producers:
	  tips for success
	Tripartite Conspiracy to control infomercials:  real
	  or imagined?
	infomercials in eastern Europe

Folks, this is only the tip of the iceberg.  Let's get our act together
and use plenty of net bandwidth to discuss this vital part of our
culture.

				Eli Mantel (eli.mantel@launchpad.unc.edu)
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: beartwo@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Audrey Davis)
Subject: Re: topics for discussion
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 05:41:26 GMT

What about Playboy and "The Secrets of Making Love?"  I like the wink, wink
reference at the end where Morgan Brittany says "There's only so much we
can show on TV, and so much we can say..."

I love these things...great for insommniacs.

Audrey Davis

Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: raj@ryn.mro4.dec.com (Raj Viswanathan)
Subject: Re: Ron Popeil and the Cocaine Woman on healthy food additives
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation - Marlboro, MA
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 16:29:56 GMT

I have been watching the Dehydrator commercial and I want to know how
many of you hate that woman that loves turkey jerkey. God she is an
annoyance! I think she needs to be smacked around a few times. 

In reference to a previous post I also have such little room in my
kitchen that I need to dehydrate everything and pack it away like a
squirrel. I wonder how much electricity that thing uses up while you
are saving up all that $$ using the food dehydrator. 

One question still plagues me. I thought I was one of the first
viewers to watch this commercial. How come they have those callers
calling in to the show if they never post the telephone number to
call! Do they call the number to order the gizmo and they get piped
to the studio or what? Hmmmmmmm. Mythinks there is a scam in there 
somewhere. 

One final question? Did anyone catch Ron "the dehydrator" Popeil's  
hair on that episode? I wonder if he used his other product that
cosmetically makes you look like you have hair. (E-something-H)


raj
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: q482@hosp.med.umich.edu (AV)
Subject: Re: jet stream oven
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.14 by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: q482@hosp.med.umich.edu (AV)
Organization: University of Michigan Math Dept
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 21:26:25 GMT

In  <1ek667INNn9i@darkstar.UCSC.EDU>  caedmon@cats.ucsc.edu (Axeman) writes:
> 
> doris@nimios.eng.mcmaster.ca (Doris Burns) writes:
> 
> >Does anyone have a jet stream oven?  Does it work well?  I'm
> >interested in getting one as I ALWAYS rushed to make dinner!


           Upon seeing the industrial design of the Jet Stream Oven, I
           stop and ponder;   does it make a good hamster wheel?





                         *********  AMYWORLD  ********        
                              "bring your camera"         
                         *****************************        
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: jeffo@uiuc.edu (J.B. Nicholson-Owens)
Subject: Ron Popeil and the Cocaine Woman on healthy food additives
Reply-To: jeffo@uiuc.edu (J.B. Nicholson-Owens)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 08:10:35 GMT

Notice how in that RONCO Food Dehydrator ad, they conveniently leave out that  
Liquid Smoke and Soy Sauce are chock full of the crap that they claim they  
don't want to eat?  That stupid phrase, "If you can't read it, don't eat it!"  
is just wonderfully left out when that starving woman that's high enjoying her  
cocaine high ("I love to eat!", "I just love to say it!") is sticking the meat  
in that mixture of liquid smoke (what the hell is that crap anyhow?) and soy  
sauce.

And on a sidenote, I'm sure that the main reason behind food dehydration is so  
that people's food will stop taking up so much darned space.  Oh yeah...I  
dehydrate everything...my meats, fruits and vegetables so that they won't hog  
up so much space in my house.  Right.

Keep on truckin' Ron, the products are crap, but the ads are good  
entertainment!
-- 
-- Jeff (jeffo@uiuc.edu)
-- NeXTmail welcome
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: Jamie Zawinski <jwz@lucid.com>
Subject: spraypaint hair!
Organization: Lucid, Inc., Menlo Park, CA
X-Windows: A moment of convenience, a lifetime of regret.
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 92 08:41:46 GMT

This one is amazing!  It's almost as zany as the SNL "Chia Hair" skit!

"You WON'T look like a JERK."
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: artemis@netcom.com (Michelle Dick)
Subject: Re: jet stream oven
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1992 02:26:17 GMT

In article <1ek667INNn9i@darkstar.UCSC.EDU> caedmon@cats.ucsc.edu (Axeman) writes:
>All in all, it's a really neat item to include in your kitchen lineup.  It
>gets old quick, but not like a SnakMaster would - it's still useful.

Now, now. Don't knock the snackmaster.  I picked up one cheap 7 months
ago expecting to relegate it to the garage after getting bored with it
in a week or so.  But, astonding all, that silly appliance gets nearly
daily use in our household.  Our resident vegetarian makes spaghetti
sauce/ mozzerella whole wheat sandwiches, usually stuffing them into a
bag for lunch on the way out in the morning.  Our meat and potatoes
fan likes to load it up with canned hash browns in white, and I gobble
lots of turkey breast with ultra-low-fat chedder in potato bread.
Super quick, practically no clean-up, hot carry-and-go food maker.  I
think I spent $12 for the Salton Single.

Hmm. Excuse me, I'm hungry now.....

--
Michelle Dick
artemis@netcom.com
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: gerald.b.ross@um.cc.umich.edu (Gerald Ross)
Subject: The Fill in the Blank Diet
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.14 by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: gerald.b.ross@um.cc.umich.edu (Gerald Ross)
Organization: University of Michigan Math Dept
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 15:45:09 GMT


What about all these diet gimicks?  The California Diet,
Deal-A-Meal etc.

When you watch them you realize that each of these
diets limit your caloric intake to appr. 900 calories
a day.  They also suggest you that you engage in
"moderate exercise"(at 900 calories a day, all you have
to is breathe and blink if you want to lose weight :-) )


IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!  I LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!!
THIS IS TRULY AN AMAZING DISCOVERY!!

Medical Professionals don't want you to know about this
diet breakthrough because they make so much money off
diseases related to obesity (wink).
==============================================================
=
= Gerald Ross
=
=     ...It's 1992.  So where's my jetpack?
=
==============================================================


Newsgroups: alt.tv.northern-exp
From: Henry Nunes <hwnunes@leland.stanford.edu>
Subject: Re: Response to "I love Ed"
X-Xxmessage-Id: <A72C8604B60100F0@naranja-pc-175.stanford.edu>
X-Xxdate: Sun, 15 Nov 92 22:56:04 GMT
Organization: DSO, Stanford University
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d12
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 92 06:54:14 GMT

In article <15NOV199223063843@cc.utah.edu> PARRY W. JARMAN,
pwjarman@cc.utah.edu writes:
>My husband would beg to differ. He thinks Shelley is the blonde bombshell
babe 
>of the show--and much prefers her ditziness to Maggie's melodramas.
Personally, 
>(and he takes razzing from me over this) it's merely a matter of physical 
>endowments and how well they are presented--Janine Turner has a figure, but
its 
>always hidden under baggy clothes and combative attitude by her character.
>Shelley lets it all hang out, so to speak.

What if we put some real clothes on Shelly, instead of those wierd
animal/floral prints... and if you compared Cynthia Geary and Janine Turner at
the last Emmy Awards, there is no doubt who has the better figure, Cynthia. (I
wonder how those "English Majors" are enjoying this conversation.)
From: olaf@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Jeffrey William)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: Tom Vu - the Godfather!
 Sender:  olaf@casbah.acns.nwu.edu
Date: 18 Nov 92 22:42:22 GMT
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.

Hey, is Tom Vu still running those ads?  I haven't seen one in years it seems
like, and I'll be home next week-end, so I can cable all night long looking
for him?  COuld somebody post or e-mail any ideas on when to catch him or the
amazing flow-bee?  I promise a full report if I catch either...

BTW, my personal fave has to be the "Amazing Discoveries" with Jack Lalanne
and the juice tiger...Boy that frozen cantelope sure looks delicious.
Or how about the Ronco electric food dehydrator.  Yum, Yum, love that turkey
jerkey.

olaf@casbah.acns.nwu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials