From: lam@laurel.comm.mot.com (Dan Lam)
Subject: outed ... but feel not so good.
Organization: Systems Technology Research, Land Mobile Products Sector, Motorola Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 17:56:23 GMT

I came out for the first time and I now feel very scary and nervous.  I
thought realized that I needed more preparation before coming out -- especially
in a straight news group.  I wish I had read more here.
I found soc.bi about 3 mons ago but had a hard time following it since
there are so many articles here and I always missed the original ones.
I know I should read this for awhile before I post but oh well ...

I participate in another news group where there is someone talking about
her bisexual dating experiences which cause confusion among some other
netters (clueless).  I identify with her bisexual feelings so I revealed
my sexuality to tons of straights in the group.  I did so in *hope* that
people realize that "bisexuality" exists, in hope that they would accept
me better and not feel distant from me since I have kept my real, honest
sexual feeling as a secret.

I feel nervous because I don't know what would happen to me.  What if
people at work find out.  The reason I post here is that perhaps there
are many aspects of bixesuality that  I still don't know about.
I guess you can say this is a sexual indentity crisis.  Anyway if
there exists a FAQ here, would someone please send it to me.  Thanks a
bunch.

I am enclosing my original post here in case anyone is interested in
reading it.  What I said in the post is just my own honest feeling.  I
don't know any bi's in real life so if anything you found offensive or
clueless, it was not my intention.

daniel

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Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: Inter-racial dating

In article <1992Dec17.151924.6804@almserv.uucp> g9utxu@fnma.COM writes:
>In article 25150@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com, lam@popeye.comm.mot.com (Dan Lam) writes:
>>Hmm I wonder why I missed this article.  The news feeder must be acting
>>strange lately for  I would get the follw-ups before the originals.  Any
>>way I have been wondering about this myself -- No not about Carole but 
>>about my own sexuality --- bisexuality if you want the label.  There has
>>always existed some elements of *genderless* eroticism in my sexual
>>experiences/fantasies.  As to this regard, the *physical* sex of my
>>partner is not really that revalent.  I guess we are living in such a
>>orthodox society that a lot of people do concern a great deal about the
>>"manhood" and "womanhood" of their partners.  Society creates rigid
>>gender roles that we tend to follow.  People therefore arrange their
>>sexual activities accordingly.  That is man fucks woman and that is it.
>>Any ambiguity (ex: bisexuality) in sexual behaviors will not be well
>>accepted.  I am not asking you to accept bisexuality, hey you don't have
>>to.  I am writing this mainly to share my own experiences.  I would not
>>be honest about my own sexuality if I just tell you that I am straight.
>>For I do believe and feel that I have the *potential* to experience
>>homoeroticism.  Unlike Carole, I don't have much same-sexual
>>experiences.  Nevertherless I certainly *feel* bisexual.  I guess
>>bisexuality is not really who you fuck or have fucked, it is also how
>>you feel, sexually speaking (any comments Carole?).  Perhap I will
>>decide to *explore* more about the homosexual side of myself.  Whatever
>>happens in the future, I'll certainly not call myself straight.
>>
>>Dan
>>
>>PS:  This has taken a lot of courage from me to write.  Some of you
>>probably will have a different attitude about me but one thing I wanna
>>say is I am still the same old Dan.  It's Xmas and it is the season to
>>be honest about anything including my sexuality.  I don't know why I am
>>such a optimist cos I can sense a lot of conservative Chinese_cu out
>>there sending flames this way.  Oh what the heck, hate mails are welcome
>>just make sure you send them before Xmas so I can be entertained.
>>Oh E-hugs are also welcome from anyone, male or female.
>>
>>--
>>|       Daniel Lam  danl@comm.mot.com  Chicago, Il, USA        |  
>>|         ....  Merry Xmas, Don't drink and spike  ....        |
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>I must say you got guts. I myself never thought about anything other than the 
>opposite sex when in comes to relations (sexual and/or emotional). You know that 
>by having thoughts about homosexuality/bisexuality you could easily become one. I'm 
>not saying it is bad nor good. I'm just saying that such a move can change your whole 
>perspective on life (having gay friends as references). 
>
>


--
|       Daniel Lam  danl@comm.mot.com  Chicago, Il, USA         |  
|...  Merry Xmas, Don't drink and spike, Don't drink and jibe,  |
|  Don't drink and blade, oops this last one does not rythm ....|
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~