From: bobsarv@microsoft.com (Bob Sarver)
Subject: Re: Too straight looking to be gay??? (was re: UNGAY GAY)
Date: 28 Aug 92 04:02:08 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corp.

(vanyel)
/Why is Elf's frank and honest discussion of his sexuality with others
/"exhibitionism"?  

It's not; I did not mean to leave that impression.  
His frank and honest discussion is educational, and healthy.

I am referring to some of the public exhibitions that not everyone may
understand.

When a local TV station airs a gay parade, and the leather / drag contingent
is spotlighted, that gets beamed into thousands of homes.  Now, imagine:
we only have perhaps 30 seconds to make a statement to thousands of
Americans.  A precious resource.  It seems like squandering the resource
to _play_into_the_hands_of_the_bigots by giving them the circus they
want to see.  

Here in Seattle, the parade lasted (I think) about two
hours.  Lots of normal people, lots of average folks, organizations
and clubs, etc.  A whole spectrum of things.   But when the local
TV stations decided to air segments of the parade, guess which segments
they chose?  Right; the circus.  It's good for ratings.





(vanyel)
/Did it ever occur to *you*, Bob, that maybe *you* might not be right?

Yes.

I started out believing much as you do.  However, as I looked around
me, I saw the most vocal parts of gay community to be pretty powerless, 
caught up in minor squabbles and turf wars over small stakes games.  I 
also looked around at the straights that I know / work with / meet, 
and observed their reaction to these vocal gays.  Based on what I saw 
the gays doing to each other, and how little effect it was having
in achieving their stated goals, it was obvious that something wasn't
working.



(vanyel)
/There's an old saying: If one person tells you something's wrong, you can
/blow it off.  If two people tell you, you might give it a little
/consideration.  But if three people tell you, maybe you should really think
/about it.

Not if all three of the people are in the same room and are part of the
same group cause.

And not if you (or I) get to choose which three people are going
to tell me I'm wrong.  

You know better than that, Alan.  Walk into a Pro-life protest, and tell
them you're pro-choice.  I guarantee you that three people will tell
you that you're wrong.  What happens to your precious pearl of wisdom
then?  It's more complex than that.

Taking the positions I have taken on a Usenet forum that is primarily 
a militantly pro-gay arena is tantamount to a pro-choice person at a
pro-life rally.




>/         Elf !!!
>Why do you include the exclamation points?

/(vanyel)
/Because he likes to.  Why does he have to justify himself to you?

Christ, I was just curious, Alan.

You're too fucking defensive.  No one was asking for 
a "justification"; calm down.  I was just curious; maybe it meant 
something.




(vanyel)
/I can't respect your philosophy of dictating to
/everyone else in the matter of personality and personal behavior that
/doesn't match yours.  

"Dictate" implies force.  The correct word for what I am doing in 
this case is "observing", then "suggesting".  There is a world of 
difference between what I am doing and what you are accusing me of.



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