Organization: The American University - University Computing Center
Date: Thursday, 13 Aug 1992 16:18:32 EDT
From: Kayvon Z. Sadeghi <KSADEGH@auvm.american.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian
Subject: Re: Iranian Men
 <1992Aug13.154912.15618@ncsu.edu>

In article <1992Aug13.154912.15618@ncsu.edu>, hernlem@che13.ncsu.EDU (Brad
Hernlem) says:
>
>*****
>Dear peter;
>As an Iranian man I have to accept it that you are right. Most of Iranian
>women in here Which I talked to prefer to marry an American men or some
>other nationality. I don't know if it's because most of us lost our persian
>value and culture trying so hard to be an american or something else.
>Yes; This is typical treatment of Iranian women by Iranian men. I think we
>like to take what's only good for ourselves from both cultures. we like our
>wife to work and bring the paycheck home and at the same time do all the
>house work and cooking too. we like to go out and have a good time like
>americans but when it comes to our wife, the story is different. we should
>realize it we can't have our cake and eat it too at the same time.
>I think nationality and culture does not have anything to do with a
>successful marriage as far as you always give a little more than what you
>are asking for.
>It's nice to here some comments from Iranian women on this subject.
>I posted this article before but since our network was down for two days
>I don't know if it was posted or not If it was I apologize for posting
>it twice.
>
>sincerely yours;
>
>Ali Eslami
>*****
>
>Dear Ali va "hamnetoon",
>
>You write that "I don't know if it's because most of us lost our persian
>value and culture trying so hard to be an american or something else".
>It is my observation that often Iranians try too hard to change because
>they apparently believe that this is neccessary or desireable in order
>to live in the U.S. I am strongly opposed to this notion and think that
>it leads only to problems. People cannot change who they are and how are
>they to aquire a different culture than the one that they already know?
>Culture is something deep that is acquired from a lifetime of
>experiences and growth. It is not something that you can learn from
>books or the television or radio. You can observe from the outside but
>without being raised in a culture you cannot fully acquire it. Even
>being raised in the U.S. only exposes you to a particular segment of the
>culture of the society. I think that this problem comes up most
>noticeably when an Iranian couple try to raise children in the U.S. How
>should they raise their children? With the Iranian culture that they
>know or with what they presume to be American culture? I say stick with
>the values that you know. I was raised in a "religious" atmosphere. My
                           ****************************************

Does this mean that you are going to, or should,raise your children in the same
way. Just because you were brought up that way?
I don't think that would be fare.

k1


>parents thought that this was best and that is what they knew. Of
>course, this meant that we were significantly different than many
>families around us but thankfully my parents realized that it was more
>important to have some sort of values than to "fit in".
>
>Brad Hernlem (hernlem@chess.ncsu.EDU)
>
>p.s. to Peter. I received your mail.





---
------------------------------------------------------------
KAYVON Z. SADEGHI                  K.SADEGHI@IEEE.ORG
VOICE: 202/244-0789


Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian