HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: joshua@acpub.duke.edu (Joshua Goldie)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: A Question
Date: 17 Nov 92 03:21:31 GMT
Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.

In article <1992Nov16.191719.25576@jetsun.weitek.COM> weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
>In article <l0t1a#b@rpi.edu> petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>>
>>  I have a simple question:
>>
>>  If you _knew_ you had to break up with your SO, no way out, would you want
>>to have an exact date, or not?  And what would you do before the imminent
>>breakup?
>>
I don't think this is a simple question at all.  Are you graduating,
joining the Peace Corps and going to Africa to live in a clay hut for
the next three years?  Or is your SO driving you crazy and you need to
get out of the relationship before you go crazy?  i.e Is there some
external reason why you must break up or is it an "internal" reason,
one within the relationship?

>I would tell her right away, and expect to break up right away. I would
>
>I would have to think first about how to handle the possibility that
>she might want to stay together as long as possible. Without spending a

This is good advice if you have an internal reason for breaking off -
that is, you want or need to get out of this realtionship.  If you
have an external reason you should stay together until the
circumstances make it impossible or impractical and then part.  It
will probably be easier if you know there is very little chance of
seeing the person for a while (while you dig that well in Zimbabwe.)
From: arnold@pyramid.unr.edu (Bruce M Arnold)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: See this note for further instructions
Date: 24 Nov 92 04:47:41 GMT
Reply-To: arnold@pyramid.unr.edu (Bruce M Arnold)
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Nevada, Reno  Department of Computer Science

In article <84186@ut-emx.uucp> fretlord@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Ryan Stryker)
writes: >First, check to see that you are female. >Then, reply to this
note. >Then, simply sit back and wait - a few hours maximum - for your new
friend to > arrive, all polished and shiney, on your virtual doorstep. >
>-Ry > >-- >

AFter thinking about this for a second (not cuz I'm a chick, just
interested in the human side of it all).. I have deemed this to be a
little clever..

Bruce..

--
arnold@cs.unr.edu  			:	Bruce M. Arnold
arnold@pyramid.unr.edu			:	Box 13854
					:	Reno, Nevada  89507
-> "'RUCE"				:	U.S.A.
					:__________________________
The University of Nevada - Reno
___________________________________________________________________>
Yes, There really is another University of Nevada, and we
were here first!  -> (Bruce Arnold speaking to cousin from Ohio)

No, I haven't taken GMBL-101 yet! -> (Bruce Arnold to same cousin)
From: scott@ssvs.gsfc.nasa.gov (Tom Scott)
Subject: LDRomancers Be Happy!
Summary: LDR's are worth it!
Keywords: LDR Happy marry merry Paris
Organization: Goddard Space Flight Center
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 06:36:51 GMT


Cool cool cool!  It's great(well, supportive is a better word) to hear of 
other LDR's.  Thanks for responding to my "lemmme hearya!".  Sorry, I won't
be able to compile anything, or send email back to some of you.  I'm leaving
soon, too many things to work on!
Here's a list of my stat's that might give ya a warm smile.

First met- August 3, 1991 (love at first sight?)
again- Month later, 2 weeks later
Dating...
Renting a house together Oct. 26 (Realizing loveat1stsight IS possible!)
Together...
She went home to Paris- Jan 24, a hard day.  Started our Internet love.
Apart 3 months, I went there Apr 23- 2 1/2 weeks, another long 3 months,
she came July 24- for a month, waiting another long three months.

We've always been so close- 600K of email, 6meg of logged unix talks.
(Anyone want my own no frills captured %talk-to-ascii converter?)
Chucking my job and my country, I'll be with her for good (SO good!) on
Nov 26!  A little while ago she accepted my sparkling gift(thank you- we're
very happy too), and we will marry in late January (Perhaps Jan 24 ?!)

I'm following my heart, finding my happiness.  THIS is what is truly important.
Good luck to everyone, especially to the LDRomancers.  Have patience,
compromise, hold on to that precious love.

					Hopeless Romantic
					scott@ros3.gsfc.nasa.gov

Oh yea, anyone have a job-opening in Paris?


I'm serious about the unix talk2ascii c-code... anyone who wants it or can
fix up it's little quirks, email !
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 21:25:49 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <64z158_@rpi.edu> petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:

>In article <cbnqh9b@lynx.unm.edu>, blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes:

>|> Can YOU tell the difference between 'independence' and 'crutch'?

>  Yes, there is a difference.  However, to some of us, when we get dumped by
>someone we care for, it HURTS.  Apparently, this is not true for you---since
>this is for romantics (people who care deeply for others), it really hurts to
>get dumped---moreso than for non-romantics.

This is as much of a stupid assumption as you are unjustly accusing rON
of.  It hurts all of us to be dumped.

>  No, but you ARE saying that other people mean very little to you, since you
>can't be hurt by them.  Psychological invunerability is only possible if 
>nobody means anything to you, which seems to be the case here, if you insist
>that you can't get hurt.

You're flaming someone you don't even know, and you're wrong about what
he believes.  You're also looking like the very antithesis of the caring
person you want to make yourself out to be.

>  Well, as I said before, there are SOME TIMES when we all need hugs.

Yes, and when I need a hug, I go and find a friend to give me the real
thing, rather than hoping for little ASCII flowers and hearts.  Then I
come to soc.singles and try to talk about the reasons I hurt with some
good friends who will understand and not clutter my life with bullshit
like you seem to accept as a substitute for real caring.

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"I get so tickled debunking bad personal philosophy." - Milquetoast

--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"I get so tickled debunking bad personal philosophy." - Milquetoast
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14090 alt.sex:36363
From: dsh@eceyv.ncsu.edu (Woody Allen)
Subject: Description of the Fetal Remains from an Abortion
Organization: North Carolina State University
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 23:46:44 GMT

  "It was easy to shrug off an aborted pregnancy as nothing more than
   a sack of blood and globs of tissue--as many pro-choice activists
   did--if one never saw fetal remains, or products of conception (POC),
   as they were known in medical circles.  But the nurses, medical
   assistants, and doctors who worked inside procedure rooms knew
   that while an eight-week POC was indeed a sack of blood and
   globs of tissue, an eleven-week POC harbored tiny arms and legs
   and feet with toes.  At twelve weeks, those tiny hands had tiny
   nails.  Although the fetal head was too small at that stage to
   withstand the evacuation machine's suction, pieces of face--a nose
   and a mouth, or a black eye (all fetal eyes are black in the
   first trimester) the size of a pea--were sometimes found in
   the aftermath.

   Later abortions spawned even more gruesome fetal remains.  Between
   the twelfth and the sixteenth week, early in the second trimester,
   the fetus almost doubled in length as its body caught up to its
   large head, and it filled out to the point where it looked like
   a human baby for the first time.  Since the fetal skull was 
   still soft, the head did not come out whole during the evacuation,
   but the legs and arms and rib cage made it through intact.  The
   hand of a second trimester fetus, as a Preterm doctor described
   it, seemed big enough to shake.

   Most of Preterm's abortion staff didn't volunteer to work ``seconds''.
   Late first trimester POCs were hard enough.  The counselor/medical
   assistants (CMAs) met regularly to discuss their feelings about
   their work, and often the discussion focused on the POC.  Inside
   a procedure room, facing the contents of the uterus, there was
   no denying what abortion was." 

   Sue Hertz, _Caught in the Crossfire: A Year on Abortion's Front Line_,
   Prentice Hall Press, 1991, pg. 104.

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: itzenhui@cs.uwp.edu (Steve Itzenhuiser)
Subject: Plea
Organization: University of Wisconsin - Parkside
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 01:03:32 GMT


I am only 24 years old, but believe in previous lives (though I do not
know what they were) and believe that I know a lot about this world--the
way it works and why things happen when they happen, etc.  My
understanding of the world lies in my understanding of myself.  This may
sound truly bazaar to some of you, but I know that there are others out
there like me and my friends--you're not alone.  However, out of all the
knowledge that I have gained over the X-amount of life times that I have
been on this earth, I can not, for the life of me understand LOVE!!!
I am now interested in one particular woman (who I really hope doesn't
read this).  She is intelligent and wise (a combination hard to find), and
also quite stunning.  She has expressed interest in me, though I don't
know to what extent, though that in itself can keep me in check for some time.
My biggest problem, however, is that I become very absorbed into a woman
and thus become anxious.  I don't know what to think when she does this or
that, I don't quite know how to act and react.  I know that I should be
myself, but I do so much want to be with her but I do not want to push her
away.  I become quite stressed.  Do I relax, do I tell her of my anxiety,
or what?  I would really appreciate a bit 'o advice.


"If there's a new way, I'll be the first in line."
				-Dave Mustain

Xref: sparky alt.romance:14299 soc.singles:31200
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
From: t9014192@phillip.edu.au
Date: 19 Nov 92 16:06:05 EST
Organization: RMIT (Bundoora Campus)

In article <1992Nov17.112806.11601@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
> In article <31517@hydra.Helsinki.FI> taina@cs.Helsinki.FI (Juha Taina) writes:
>>In <13NOV92.21925419.0026@lafibm.lafayette.edu> CE42@lafibm.lafayette.edu (CE42000) writes:
>>>>I too am new to this news group so hi, y'all.  I was ungraciously dumped
>>>Hi! *hug* and welcome to ARC!
>>
>>I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net.  What
>>is the value of them?  Would you also hug and kiss a stranger in real
>>life?
> 
> Why not?  I've licked whipped cream off a few strangers (and enjoyed it);
> I don't see how hugging them could be much more outre'.
> 
> Trygve    (I am very picky, however--I don't lick just any stranger.) 

  And the good thing is, u don't have to pay them on the net...


  Sorry,

  GP.
    
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Subject: Re: Two hearts can meet....................
Reply-To: ae498@yfn.ysu.edu (Dawn Bott)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 23:25:24 GMT


In a previous article, fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen) says:

>.......... Romance must be given a chance, and that 
>chance will come in situations such as:.....[edit]... a long
>telephone call or an internet chat (I've never done this but I know two hearts 
>can touch when far apart);  
>

the above taken from the "truer words were never spoken category..."

I know from personal experience how 5500 miles can melt away
during weekend internet chats lasting 8 to 10 hours long......

*sigh*....can't wait till Friday!! =D

cheers,

Dawn


-- 
We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds;
our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

                                           --- Goethe
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: explain wish me luck
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 92 17:14:12 GMT

In article <9YCTB7TN@cc.swarthmore.edu> chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy Horwitz) writes:
>...                    I'm still planning on the note idea, but it is not
>anonymous.  Actually, I sent it today.  it said that I'd like to meet him,
>and would he join me for some casual Chinese food.  I said my name and told
>him he could look me up in the face book.  Lastly I told him to call me if
>he couldn't come.  This is good because either way I'll get to talk to him.
> Now we all have to pray that he doesn't call me within the next four days.
> We are meeting on Sunday at 7:00.  I'm so nervous/excited.  But I'm also
>very prepared for rejection.  Oh well, I'm a freshman, what do I have to
>loose.
>
Sounds like a reasonable plan to me. 

Good luck, Cathy.

Michael.

Xref: sparky alt.romance:14200 soc.singles:31046
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 17 Nov 1992 19:01:03 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.41

In article <1992Nov17.020628.21312@microsoft.com> allanl@microsoft.com (Allan Lockridge) writes:
>
>>[Previous stuff about being stuck on your own]
>
>Its been just under ten years for me and still counting.    I guess this is
>an unusual amount of time.  Oh well, this dry spell shouldn't last much longer
>than.  Not really sure why its happened, but I am getting pretty use to being
>alone a majority of time.  That helps to make things a little easier to deal with.
>
>Allan Lockridge -- Allanl

Bastard! Bastard! I wanted the longest! I wanted the longest! (6 years --
ok, I was being a bit optimistic)

Sure is great being on your own though, eh?! Oh sure... :-(

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: daniel@clsi.COM (Daniel Barclay)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: CAD Language Systems Inc.
	<Bxvxyx.Mqq@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU>
Date: 18 Nov 92 10:12:33


> > I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net.  What
> > is the value of them?  Would you also hug and kiss a stranger in real
> > life?
> ...
> Perhaps you could say alt.romance and like groups are a 'perfect world'
                                                          ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> where people aren't shy to express themselves and show their true
> colours.
> ...
Keep those quotes:  A perfect world would support (in the "implement" sense)
physical (not just verbal or mental) hugs!  Oops, I guess I'm showing part
of my colors.  (Now where did that 'u' go?)

--
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daniel S. Barclay			CAD Language Systems, Inc.
					Suite 101, 5457 Twin Knolls Rd.
Why can't _I_ think of a signature?	Columbia, MD  21045  USA
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Becoming attracted to friends
From: jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner)
Date: 22 Nov 92 16:59:50 EST
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

will@dekalb.dc.peachnet.edu (Beldin Feldegast) writes:
> > 
> >Agreed!  As I posted previosly here, this combination of mixing 
> >frienship and love is like drink driving.  It's something you 
> >learn sooner or later... but it's a damn painfull way to learn 
> >from experience.  *sigh*
> 
> So, what is there for him to do? Are you saying this is the case 
> for everyone not to mix friendships with love? Do you just develop 
> a relationship from being an acquaintance and then ask somone out? 
> This doesn't seem quite right.

yeah, it doesn't. mixing friendship + love can be nasty. but it can
also one of the best things in the world (IMHO). so -- if only one
friend in a hundred is safe for a "luuuv reaction" (why does that
sound like a B-52s song?) the solution is to make a -lot- of friends.

at the very worst you'll end up with lots of friends. at the very best
you'll have lots of friends and one VERY special one. i was fully
prepared & happy to live with the worst, which isn't bad at all. i was
less prepared to find that VERY special friend, but now that it's
happened i'm adjusting quite nicely, thanks. :^)

only 20 days & 7-odd hours 'til i see her again,
jason

--
   "I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired
    of being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this country
    with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired
    of being told that I am!" - Monty Python
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu ,`,`,`
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: "Made" or "Just Happens"?
Date: 17 Nov 92 18:24:20 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.41

In article <BxvBr5.GD0@acsu.buffalo.edu> v119qkv2@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (POE) writes:
>
>	There has been an on-going arguement as to whether or not relationships
>have to be planned or just happen.  

[Stuff deleted]

>	So what's my point?  I want to know how other people feel about this.
>Myself, I think that anyone who doesn't see that relationships are made and
>don't just happen are either A) Living in a fantasy world, B) Been in a 
>relationship too long to remember what it is like, or C) One in a million that
>were lucky enough to experience "love at first sight".  So let's here it:
>Does it just happen or do you have to make it happen?

I keep trying to make relationships happen; they don't. I also continue to
wait for one to drop out of the sky, just in case my efforts fail; one
doesn't. Therefore, relationships don't exist. QED.

Dontcha just love this rationality stuff! ;-) ;-) ;-)

Ok, what I really think is that all my reasoning tells me you're right --
relationships are made, not 'just happen'.

I *really* want to believe this, I really do. Everything tells me you're
right. The net, logic, everything. (:-)) However, how come the only
serious relationship I had 'just happened' when I didn't even like the
woman initially; and the same goes for my parents. And millions of others.

Weird strangeness, man... Could be just that we're wrong -- or that we're
right *sometimes* and sometimes not. Yeh, that sounds like the ticket!

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: dgartner@hotspur.gac.edu (David M Gartner)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: A Question
Date: 16 Nov 92 21:20:24 GMT

In article <l0t1a#b@rpi.edu>  writes:
> 
>   I have a simple question:
> 
>   If you _knew_ you had to break up with your SO, no way out, would you  
want
> to have an exact date, or not?  And what would you do before the  
imminent
> breakup?
> 
> -- 
> Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and  
terrible
> scarcity.
> MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for  
MADD)
> 
> 
> 

No, I assume this relationship had the possibility to be forever. If so,  
you should end now to allow the SO to begin the grieving process and  
proceed with their life.  Having an exact date to end a relationship is  
pointless. I use this reasoning because once a relationship is over.  It  
should be ended to allow growth in a new relationship.  If it is only a  
matter of time, end it has soon as possible or you are using that person.
	When the relationship termination is imminent don't beat around  
the bush, be direct. But tactful and kind.  Don't lie.  The possibility of  
becoming friends later is much more slim.

--
David M. Gartner
dgartner@nic.gac.edu
"I learned more trying to beat the system
then I ever did from the system."  R. Crozier
From: v119qkv2@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (POE)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: "Made" or "Just Happens"?
Date: 17 Nov 92 16:14:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41


	There has been an on-going arguement as to whether or not relationships
have to be planned or just happen.  Do you need a plan and a strategy to find
that special SO or do you play the waiting game and let nature take its course?
Does it just happen or do you have to make it happen?  etc.
	This reminds me of an episode I saw on Donahue or Oprah or one of those
stupid shows years ago.  There were four doctors/shrinks/specialists on the show
that had all written books on relationships; how to get involved in one, what to
do when in one, etc..  Three out of the four people's books and beliefs painted
a picture of smilely faces and roses: if you are a good loving person, good 
things will come to you, be yourself, happy, happy, gag, gag.  The forth guy
was an author of one of those "how to pick up chicks" books.  Basically, the
whole show was the three "happy" people, the host, and the majority of the 
audience verbally abusing this one guy.  However, there were people in the 
audience, both men and women, who found what this guy had to say to be true and
were shocked by the way the majority saw this situation through rose-colored
glasses.  These people said that it's not all that easy to find that special
someone, that it's a game that has to be played over and over again.
	So what's my point?  I want to know how other people feel about this.
Myself, I think that anyone who doesn't see that relationships are made and
don't just happen are either A) Living in a fantasy world, B) Been in a 
relationship too long to remember what it is like, or C) One in a million that
were lucky enough to experience "love at first sight".  So let's here it:
Does it just happen or do you have to make it happen?

- Just wondering...
  Mike Poe
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles