HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: anon-1366@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: GROUP THERAPY
Date: 8 Nov 92 04:54:18 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com


Hi, this is Al.  Lately, I have been thinking about the teacher who abused
me while I was in high school, and I have been getting quite depressed about
it.  It just seems that recently I can't get it out of my mind.  I know why
that is, I think.  It is because I am finally talking about it in therapy.
However, I am in one of those group therapy things and I am not so sure I
like it.  To tell you the truth, though, it has given me the opportunity
to meet other people in a like situation.  I have made a couple really good
friends through there and we get together.  I am wondering...how many people
out there belong to a group (with shrink and all)?  What are your experiences?

The problem though is that there are a couple wierdos there.  It's not that
I am trying to belittle their problems or anything like that, it just seems
to me that they are there so they can tell everyone how bad off they are,
and how sorry we should feel for them.  Fine - but don't dominate the damn
group with your tales of woe.  This may seem calous - but please don't reproach,
I just need a sounding board...

Another problem with my group is that I am beginning to dislike the therapist.
He REALLY bothers me.  I hate to leave the group but I am seriously considering
it...I am considering going into private therapy just so I DO NOT have to
see HIM every damn week.  It's not that he reminds me of anyone.  The problem
is that he's a man....and I HATE men....not all men...just those in a 
position higher than mine.  Any guys out that that hate their own kind?  Wierd
isn't it?  ADVICE NEEDED:  Should I quit going to group therapy because I
cannot stand the shrink but I like most of the people there?????

Another thing:  it has been 8 years since my teacher sexually abused me, and
my mother..I am considering filing a complaint with the police AND filing a civil
action against them both.  You see, we can do that up here in Canada now...there
IS a statute of limitations, but is is AFTER you realize the damage that
the abuse has done to you.  It's been a while, I know I am strong enough...
but by pursuing this - does that mean that I am refusing to let go of the
past...or should I just do this one last difficult thing then get on with
me life....??  

ADVICE would be appreciated.  You might wish to post directly to the
newgroup as I seem to be having some problems with my e-mail remote
forwarding.


bye for now.....ALAN



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From: J.Theodore.Schuerzinger@dartmouth.edu (J. Theodore Schuerzinger)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Blackness and Guilt
Date: 8 Nov 92 19:33:03 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH
X-Posted-From: InterNews1.0a5@newshost.dartmouth.edu

One of the more difficult questions for Christian theologians has been
"Why does God let bad things happen to good people?"  I wish I could
provide you with an answer for this, Silver Tiger.  However, there are
a number of groups on the net specifically designed for various
religions (one for Islam, one for Catholicism, etc.).  I don't know if
you can subscribe to any of them where you are, but if you can, why not
post a letter to one of the Christian groups asking why God lets bad
things happen to good people?  The people who read these groups discuss
religious issues all the time and might be able to come up with a
better answer than I can to your question.

(BTW, if you still believe in the Bible, the book of Job deals with
this too.  Job kept his faith in God even though he suffered many
tragedies, and was eventually rewarded for his unyielding faith.  Of
course, the key word here is 'eventually'-- it may take years for good
things to finally start happening, and even then, there may still be
bad things mixed in with the good.)

Ted Schuerzinger
email: .zed@Dartmouth.EDU
From: anon-1368@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: First Post
Date: 5 Nov 92 22:53:42 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

This is my first post on this group. I ran across ASAR about 3 weeks ago,
and I have been quite impressed with the support that the people on ASAR give
to each other. I feel like I have something to offer to posters as well as
something to gain, so I decided to become active on ASAR. This post is
really just a test to see that things are working as advertised.

Before exiting, I would like to add my support to all who post on / read ASAR.

More Later,

:)



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu (Nancy Lebovitz)
Subject: Re: FICTION *SPOILERS*
Organization: UDel, School of Life & Health Sciences
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 22:33:36 GMT

I liked the story a lot--it was very satisfying. Have you considered
getting it published? _Fantasy_ _and_ _Science_ _Fiction_ might
like it. 

                             Nancy Lebovitz
                              nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu
From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Update from the Captain
Date: 12 Nov 92 23:11:39 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Sorry about that post with no title....  I forgot to put anything in the
subject line and only learned later I couldn't cancel the post.  I sent it a
second time with a title to make sure people would read it.

Anyhow, my counselor still has not replied to my letter.  I'm beginning to
think about filing a formal complaint with whatever professional organization
he belongs to.  Of course, that's assuming he IS a professional!  :-)

The Captain



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From: anon-1394@twwells.com (darkangel)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: new number
Date: 13 Nov 92 19:06:35 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes



^^^^^ here's my new address..i wasn't sure if the messages i sent earlier made
it..


darkangel



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: dmw1@Ra.MsState.Edu (Dianna Michael White)
Subject: Re: Incredibly bad luck (please read)
Organization: Mississippi State University
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 02:53:34 GMT

not only was this a breech of your privacy, it is a breech of contract
i don't remeber the term for it but psychiatrists and priests have the same
law/taboo/ more (sociology :)...something about doctor/patient somethin]
i'm sorry my mind is so blank right now, it does that


confidentiality!!! (my boyfriend reminded me :)

-dianna

--
*------------------------------------------*------------------------*
|I I love love double double chex chex     | It's never to late to  |
|better better than than the the rest rest!| have a happy childhood.|
*------------------------------------------*------------------------*
From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: hi you all
Date: 9 Nov 92 01:13:56 GMT
Organization: University of Washington

anon-1372@twwells.com (Sierra) writes:

>Hi, I'm yet another survivor.  This is the first time I'm posting so I'm
>kind of nervous.  I'm angry about having to use the anonymous service
>but my father reads news regularly and it just doesn't feel safe using
>my own name.  Maybe some day I will be strong enough.

welcome sierra!  no one will fault you for using the anonymous service.  you
seem to have an extremely good reason to; i'm glad it's available for you.  i
think it's better that you can use asar anonymously than not.

>I don't really know what to say.  I'm a survivor, like I said before.
>My father abused me for a long time - I've known about that for a while.
>This past week I think I have remembered some things that my mother did
>and that is really terrifying me and freaking me out.  I've always hated
>my father, so when I remembered what he had done it almost made things
>make sense.  But I like my mother - even now when she is refusing to
>believe what my father did to me I still care about her!  It makes me
>angry that I'm still feeling sympathetic to this woman, and it also
>makes me want even more to disbelieve myself or to excuse her.  She was
>abused by her father so I keep telling myself that what she did wasn't
>really that bad because she was hurt herself.

the 'badness' of what she did isn't at all influenced by what happened to her
in her past.  it in no way excuses her behavior.  it may certainly help you to
understand why she did it or allowed it or whatever, but it doesn't make it any
better.  that would be like saying that two wrongs make a right.

>I'm glad that there is a supportive survivor community out there on the
>net!  I really have been helped by reading this group.  I think all of 
>you who write here are really strong, and I particularly wanted to say
>that to poohbear.

>Well I guess this is all for now. 

>Take care all of you

i will.  don't you forget to take care of yourself, too!
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
From: eoliver@ralph.cs.haverford.edu (Erik Oliver)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: teachers and scool
Date: 13 Nov 92 21:44:37 GMT
Organization: Haverford College Computer Science Department

I just wanted to, 1 test our new news feed at my new accout, but also chime in
a remark on this subject which is that for every awful person there seems
to be at least one wonderful person.

Whether it is teachers, lovers, spouses, christians, etc.  Which is to say
that the more mature I get, the more I try to force myself to stop "lumping"
people and start thinking of them as individuals.

-Erik
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1218@twwells.com (Anika)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: More on a breach of confidentiality (LONG)
Date: 5 Nov 92 16:36:19 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes





Captain,

I don't know exactly what happened between your dean and your counselor, but
it seems possible that your counselor may have divulged unnecessary
information to your dean, without your dean requesting it. Are you sure your 
dean is the one you should be fighting?

If I'm out in left field, ignore me or flame me. It just seems that your
counselor is the one who is bound by confidentiality, and your counselor is
the one who breached that boundary.

							Anika



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From: anon-1366@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: anon1315
Date: 6 Nov 92 20:16:51 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com


Please re-send your e-mail in response to me asking if there were
any Canadians using the service.  

ANNOUNCE:YES






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From: anon-1159@twwells.com (Kristian)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Canadian Content
Date: 6 Nov 92 21:34:21 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Alan (anon-1366):
The anonymous message server is unable to deliver the appended message to the
anonymous id anon-1366@twwells.com because forwarding for it is not turned on.


Subject: Canadian content
From: anon-1159@twwells.com (Kristian)
To: anon-1366@twwells.com

Alan,
    You asked:
WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF ANYONE IN CANADA USES THIS GROUP.  PLEASE
ADVISE.
 
    I am  in  Canada.    I believe I have either noted or deduced
    that there are  a  few  posters  to  ASAR from the Maritimes,
    Calgary and Vancouver.
    
    May I inquire why you are asking?  Are you a survivor?  a SO?
    or a researcher?
    
Kristian




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From: blackbourner@bvc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: An Ode  /* Possible MAJOR SPOILER!!! */
Date: 9 Nov 92 12:12:35 CDT
Organization: Buena Vista College, Storm Lake, IA

In article <BxFp5I.GvD@twwells.com>, anon-1325@twwells.com (Solace) writes:
> 
> Warning, the following "tribute" is not easy to read...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>                  An Ode To My Collective Abuser
>              (and Abusers Everywhere and Everywhen)
> 
>                             by Solace
> 
> 
>      For your tender, loving eyes, which you used to undress 
>      me as I walked innocently in your midst; which you used 
>      to strip me of my privacy and arouse your passion: 
> 
>         I burn them out with the fires of hate in my own!
> 
>      For  your  noble  tongue,  which  you  used  to seduce,
>      threaten, confuse, deride, shame, frighten  and  caress
>      me: 
> 
>          I cut it out, with shears of ice from my veins!
> 
>      For  your tender mouth and lips, which you used to kiss
>      my recoiling skin and suck out my sexual indentity: 
> 
>               I sew it shut with needle and thread 
>                  drawn from your spineless back!
> 
>      For your strong arms  and  hands,  which  you  used  to
>      stroke my hair, caress and beat my tender flesh: 
> 
>         I amputate them with my vorpal sword of chastity!
> 
>      For  your  powerful legs, which pursued me to my hiding
>      places and never let me rest: 
> 
>                I smash them with rocks of malice!
> 
> 
>      And for  your  passionate  loins,  which  you  used  to
>      violate  the  sanctity  of  my innocence and destroy my
>      life and love: 
> 
>               I cut them out with an ax of stone, 
>                     cut from your own heart!
> 
> 
>                  For all these things and more, 
>                      I bury you, my abuser, 
>                   in a pit of your own filth...
> 
> 
> 


Great poem! I love it!!!!!!!!!!!  

Erin Sue
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: dmw1@ra.msstate.edu (Dianna Michael White)
Subject: he's dead
Organization: Mississippi State University
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 17:24:45 GMT

well, my fathert left a message on my machine a few days ago
my unlce (uncle) who abused me died in a car wreck

my reactions to this were:
1>shit...how the hell am i suppose to react to this??? I never expected hi to die.

2> why the hell should i care? i hate him. 
 3> oh my god, they're gonna want me to go to the funeral..they're gonna
expecdt me to care! they're gonna expect me to be upset that's[3~ he's dead. I can't do that.
 
4> I'm not going, I don't care what i have to tell them...i'll say i'm busy...i have a play to do, i have a test...but i can NOT go

5> gee...i won't be bale to tell him, to confront him...
6> i'll never run into him at family gatherings...i can go see my grandparents without having to cringse every time he walks by.

I told my SO and he turned to me, smiled, and saisd, "see? i told you gosdxx God
would make it allright :)"


My father called later..they didn't expect me to go because they figured
"funerals just aren't you're thing" and besides...i did have class the next
day

I was i botany at two o'clock..when the funeral was...i told a friend who sits
next to me and knows what this guy did to me...i grinned and he laughed

I'm rather glasd he's dead...that's horrible to wish or just be glad that
another person is dead, but after what he did to me it is perfectly
understandable...and i think God understands

something else he did to me, he made me hate another person so much I am
actually glad he is dead...

I feel sorry for his mother...she loved him so much, she thought he was so
wonderful, she'll be very sad that he is dead...I wonder ...
I feel that i can't tell anybody in my family now...kind of like destroying
a memory of him for them...not that i ever really thought i would tellthem

*sigh*
I dunno, i feel kind of clueless really...but I'm still relieved I can go
spend christmas and not run into him.

(by the way..sorry about the typos and stuff..delete isn't working here)

-Dianna

-- 
*------------------------------------------*------------------------*
|I I love love double double chex chex     | It's never to late to  |
|better better than than the the rest rest!| have a happy childhood.|
*------------------------------------------*------------------------*
From: anon-1317@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: test
Date: 13 Nov 92 13:17:31 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

This is testing this service-
sorry



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: doug@cdc.hp.com (Doug Sojourner)
Subject: Re: RELIGION
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 22:02:22 GMT
Reply-To: dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
Organization: HP California Design Center, Santa Clara, CA
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.4 PL6]

Well, I feel that seriously wrestling with religion (rather than
simply taking a given set of answers) has helped me in dealing with
the effects of the abuse.  In fact, it is fair to say my own recovery
starts there (though there are certainly other paths to recovery).

My wife not only finds religion to help with recovery, but found it
life-saving while she was being abused (even though the abusers were
religious people (in name at least)).  Maybe she'll give me something
to share here (or with you).


Doug Sojourner

dsojourner@cdc.hp.com
anon-1158@twwells.com
anonymus+444@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Sorry this is no message
Date: 8 Nov 92 22:51:47 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

ANON-Name: The Captain



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From: anon-1326@twwells.com (The Captain)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Counselor
Date: 10 Nov 92 06:43:41 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

Good news!  I've finally decided that I'm going to write my counselor a
letter telling him that he violated my confidentiality and how I feel
about it (and my dean's attempt at a "cover-up").  I don't want to see
him about it because I still haven't learned how to be assertive.  If I
were to see him, I would most likely either 1) completely lose my
temper and act like a maniac, or 2) become completely passive and
accept everything he had to say, even if in my heart I didn't believe
it.

I don't have the letter written just yet, but when I do I'll post that
to ASAR, as usual.  More too on the situation with my dad.

The Captain



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From: anon-1218@twwells.com (Anika)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: To Sarah
Date: 12 Nov 92 16:26:19 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes






Sarah-

I wrote you a reeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally long response, but it couldn't get to you
because your mail isn't on. Could you send me mail and let me know if it's
set? I'd really like to communicate with you.

						Anika



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From: anon-1366@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Letter to mother
Date: 6 Nov 92 05:19:02 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com


Hello, everyone.  Stay tuned for my letter to mother coming very
soon.  I think it is something we all should do.





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From: anon-1325@twwells.com (Solace)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Reformatting /* SPOILER */
Date: 8 Nov 92 17:44:03 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

*** Possible SPOILER ***

As I was installing a new hard drive in my computer yesterday I considered
as I performed a low-level format, how wonderful it would be to be able
to reformat my brain, reinstall the system software from the originals
and wipe away all signs of the "virus" that has plagued my mind for my
whole life.

I feel so cold. I haven't been held in the arms of another human being in
over 30 years. I am so alone, so afraid, like drifting like a stone in
intergalactic space a billion light-years from anything. I feel so cold.



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