From: knyal@ils.nwu.edu (Jarrett Knyal)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: New Amputee - Intro letr
Date: 16 Nov 92 22:17:06 GMT
Reply-To: knyal@ils.nwu.edu (Jarrett Knyal)
Organization: Institute for the Learning Sciences
X-Fidonet: Amputee Conference
Originator: wtm@sheldev.shel.isc-br.com

Index Number: 25683

In article <25611@handicap.news> Bill.Scrivner@f202.n285.z1.fidonet.org (Bill
Scrivner) writes:
>Index Number: 25611
>
>Hello to ANY and EVERY one!
>
>     This is sort of an introductory note and I hope it generates at
>least some response - I feel pretty trapped at the moment and this
>is my way out.

<lots of personal account stuff deleted>

>        Guess I've cried about long enough to everyone for now. Hope to
>hear back from some of you soon.
>        Thanks everyone for the shoulder - I needed it.
>

No problem Bill.  One good thing about being in a rehab hospital
for four months was that it was pretty hard to feel sorry for
yourself amidst some of the other situations that you find yourself
surrounded with.  After a while I guess I stopped comparing because
someone might be worse off than you in one way but better off in
another.  Besides, comparing really gets you nowhere fast.  I do
believe that there can be some consolotion derived from an exchange
of "war stories" so here, briefly, is what happened to me 7 (wow!)
years ago:

I was on a roof when the 2 X 4 I was holding came in contact with a
power line.  The current went up the wood and in my left hand,
burning it badly, along with my right hand and legs.  I then
proceeded to fall off the roof and break my back at the T4 (mid
chest) level and was paralyzed.  It was not one of my better days,
let me tell ya!  I was 21 years old.  I was flown to a Spinal Cord
Injury center here in Chicago where I spent 6 mo.  The account of
that might make a good book someday but I won't go into it now.
Anyhoo, they tried to save my left hand but they couldn't due to
the extensive burns.  I lost it ten days after the accident.
Now,for anyone, losing a hand would be a big deal.  For a
paraplegic, losing a hand is much worse.  For a paraplegic who was
a left-handed art major, it was even worse!  I'm like, "Great, what
am I going to do now."  Well, I decided to make art on the computer
by programming because you don't really have to have manual
dexterity for that. Well that was seven years ago and today I
actually make a living creating art on a computer, although I'm
not a programmer.  My right hand has about 95% of the ability my
left hand did and today the drawings I do (with traditional media)
look as good or better than the ones I used to do with my left hand.

I've done very well since my accident in terms of getting my life
together, thanks to the support of many people.  In some ways,
strangely enough, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
It taught me what is really important in life and what isn't.  If
someone asked me if I wished this never happened to me, of course
I'd say yes but what I really wish is that I could be made whole
again, having gone through the experience.

You're right when you said a wheelchair is cumbersome.  I use one
to get around all the time.  But, at least to me, being able to get
around is more important than not being able to get around at all.
You've got to look at what you have, not what you don't have.
O.K., your wife is divorcing you, that's a shitty situation. As a
child who went through the divorce of my parents I know, but at
least you've got three kids, at least one of whom still cares about
you.  I don't know if I'll EVER get married, let alone have any
kids.  I'm not lamenting, I'm just trying to help you see how much
you've got left even though your foot is gone.

I believe the bottom line is this:  If you act like a pathetic
amputee, that's how you'll be treated.  If you pick yourself up and
look to the future with hope and determination, people will treat
you with respect and dignity, instead of with pity.

Don't get me wrong, I think being a paraplegic amputee (God, what a
title!) SUCKS!  I get down sometimes.  You'd have to be a robot not
to.  But don't wallow in self-pity, letting it squash your life.
It doesn't sound like you're letting it.  You're working at home
and looking forward to returning to work.  I'm sure things will get
better for you.

The whole time when I was in rehab, during the worst of times, I
kept in mind that things would get better, that I would smile and
laugh again.  Well, I have and I'm really glad I'm here to do it.
Take care and consider this shoulder open any time.