HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: marcs@yang.earlham.edu (Marc Seebass(Thunderbolt))
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Arrrrrrrrrggggg
Date: 16 Apr 92 05:29:10 GMT
Article-I.D.: yang.1992Apr16.002910.17004
 <1992Apr11.114935.29265@cs.tu-berlin.de> <1992Apr11.195535.11767@nic.unh.edu>
Organization: Earlham College, Richmond, Indiana

In article <1992Apr11.195535.11767@nic.unh.edu>, ss1@bofur.unh.edu (The Rink) writes:
>>>This message was cancelled from within rn.
>>
>>That's funny. If you have more of this jokes, can you please post
>>a compilation of it?
> 
> I've already got the Canonical list of Cancelled Messages....
> --
> This message was cancelled from within rn.
> This message has been cancelled.
> This message has been cancelled by rn.  This is a public service broadcast.
> This message does not really exist.
> This message has been cancelled.  Please do not read it.
> This message is not available at your system, due to weather interference.
> This message was murdered by rn.  Investigations are taking place.
> This message has been murdered.  The alleged killer is still on the loose.
> This message has been murdered, and thus, is not currently available.
> This message is a figment of your imagination.
> This message has been terminated by news gremlins.
> This message is outta here.
> This message has been cancelled, and you are too late to read it, you stupid.
> 
> Any more I'm missing...?
> 
> 
> -- 
> -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
> |   Samuel Stoddard   a.k.a.   The Rink    |   I LOVE DISNEY -- and   | o o |
> |       University of New Hampshire        |        proud of it!      |  U  |
> | "All those email addresses!  Wow, I feel +---------+----------------+ \_/ |
> |     important!  But such choices...."              |I'm a sig virus.+-----+
> |  * ss1@kepler.unh.edu * s_stoddard@unhh.unh.edu *  |Copy me into your sig |
> | * ss1@bofur.unh.edu * s_stoddard@hilbert.unh.edu * |  and join the fun!   |
> -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg.
From: mnc@aal.itd.umich.edu (Miguel Cruz)
Subject: from rec.games.mud
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 92 17:47:45 EDT
Organization: Campus Computing Sites, University of Michigan
Originator: mnc@richards.aal.itd.umich.edu

>-- 
>       /    \                |email: ee01th@ee.surrey.ac.uk
>       O    O                |
>       ______                |
>      /      \               |
>     |        |              |______________________
>     |  o  o  |              |ham(X) :- pink(X).
>     |        |              |pink (i).
>     |\______/               |?-ham(i).
>     |                       |yes.
>     |                       |
>      \______/  I G L E T !  |
>
>I am a .signature virus.  Copy me to your .signature file and
>watch me spread.

Pig has virtual forehead              1.0
Backwards g masquerading as P         0.5
Lower right area with weird obscure
   non-human syntax                   1.0
It involves the pig                   0.1
User comes from a country where they
   boil the ham and therefore it is
   actually not pink, but brown       0.3
.signature virus made me sneeze       1.0
BUAF that is livestock head           2.0

Total pathos factor                   5.9

miguel
mnc@umich.edu
From: 6o25@sdf.lonestar.org (Stephen M. Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Re: Big nifty block letters
Keywords: kibo big ugly
Date: 14 Apr 92 11:39:58 GMT
Organization: sdf Public Access UNIX, Dallas--unrestricted free shell access

(Bill Richmond) writes:
         __   __         __   __          ____
        /\ \ /\ \       / /\ /\ \        /  \_\
       /  \_\\ \ \     / / / \ \ \      / /\ |_|
      / /\ | |\ \ \   / / /   \ \ \     \ \/ /_/_
     /  \/ |_| \ \_\ / / /     \ \ \     \  __ \_\
    / /\ ./ /   \/_/_\ | |     | | /      \ \ \/_/_
    \ \/ |_|      /\_\\ \ \   / / /        \ \_\ /_/\
     \__/_/       \/_/ \/_/   \/_/          \/_/ \_\/


hahaha NO FLAME FOR THIS...I love it..

haha ROFL...if I could say... and here you go

     . o  
      >
     __
       U      have you hugged yer fetus today?
-- 
6o25@sdf.lonestar.org                            ..!uunet!convex!egsner!sdf!6o25
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
From: mute@wpi.WPI.EDU (Madman Omar)
Subject: Re: DEPECHE MODE MURDERS ROUTE 66
Organization: Worcester Polytesticle Institute
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 22:14:01 GMT

In article <1992Apr7.212841.16705@bradley.bradley.edu> dave@bradley.bradley.edu (David Vessell) writes:

[post, including sig with lots of quotes, deleted in a last-ditch effort
to save bandwidth...]

>Tsk tsk.  Don't you know it's immoral to put more than two quotes in a
>sig?  Wait 'til I tell Pat Buchanan on you!
>-- 
>=========*davE*.....making the world safe for intelligent dance music.=========
>As you're cleaning the orange carpet, you will hear a voice that says, "Fetch 
>my cigarettes."  Another voice will say, "THEY'RE ON TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR."
>--(David Vessell)--(Bradley University Computing Services)-(dave@bradley.edu)--

Okay- what have we here? A couple of surreal quotes, a lot of lines of
various types, parentheses, an oddly-capitolized name, and a slogan.

I give it about a 7.5, with bonus points for warlording someone in 
rec.music.industrial...

-- 
                     We want to be the ones to let you know
                               We've got a surprise for you   PTP
                                         - mute@wpi.wpi.edu   Joshua Brandt -
From: kris@tpki.toppoint.de (Kristian Koehntopp)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: [ de.comm.gateways ] Re: wie uebersetze ich das in X400?
Date: 14 Apr 92 11:59:07 GMT
Organization: Toppoint Mailbox e.V.

In <1992Apr9.125548.7213@posthorn.informatik.uni-kl.de>
fs21@rummelplatz.uni-mannheim.de (Thomas Neser) writes:

>Hallo,
>wie uebersetze ich folgende Adresse in X400 Standard:
>Mannheim%nirvana.seven@nirwana.ruessel.sub.org
>Danke
>---
>Thomas Neser
>Zeus im MZES, Universitaet Mannheim, Steubenstr. 46, D-6800 Mannheim, Germany
>BITNET: m75 at dhdurz1 INTERNET: fs21@rummelplatz.uni-mannheim.de
>X400: C=de; A=dbp ; P=uni-mannheim; OU=rz; OU=munix; S=neser;
>FIDO: Thomas Neser 2:247/13 MAGICNET: Mannheim@garfield
>UUCP: unima!fs21 ZERBERUS: T_Neser@jokl.zer PC-NET: Mannheim;pc-info
>FAX: +49-621-292-8435 TEL: +49-621-292-8473 SEVEN: Mannheim@nirvana

> 

[Message Body Translation:

 Hello,
 how is the X.400 translation of the following address:
 Mannheim%nirvana.seven@nirwana.ruessel.sub.org
 Thanks
]

Annoying collection of network addresses, most of them for local
german BBS networks. And he even wants to add another one...

One point for every address or number given; sums up to a
score of eleven plus one bonus point for his postal address.
Divided by twelve because he does not know how to handle X.400
himself.

Final score: one point.

Kristian
-- 
Kristian Koehntopp, Harmsstrasse 98, FRG W-2300 Kiel, +49 431 676689
"Wollt Ihr das totale Betriebssystem?" "Ja!" "Was soll ich installieren?"
"Windows! Windows! Windows!" -- CeBIT'92
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
From: klm@gozer.mv.com (Kevin L. McBride)
Subject: Re: Dipshits R Bogus.COM
Organization: GhostBuster Central - Southern NH Usenet Access, Nashua, NH
Date: Tue, 07 Apr 92 12:01:27 GMT

bestr1070@bestsd.sdsu.edu (Alena) writes:

>...[75 lines of quoted drivel from alt.flame removed]...

> Good on, my friend!!!!  Tell the asshole the way it is!!!!

Yes, folks, that's right!  No sig, so this isn't really a contender,
but we do seem to have an unprecedented quoted:new ratio of 75:1.

This person needs to take "Remedial Text Editing 101"

-- 
Kevin - "Imminent Death of USENET Detected"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
From: peea224@chpc.utexas.edu (Joanna L. Castillo)
Subject: From austin.general
Summary: An ASCII map of Texas...happy, happy...joy, joy 
Organization: The University of Texas System - CHPC
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 92 16:04:22 GMT

In article <2746@unisql.UUCP> alan@unisql.UUCP (Alan Weiss) signs:
>
> Alan R. Weiss                  #include <std_disclaimer.h>
> UniSQL, Inc.
> 9390 Research  II, Suite 200                             +---+
> Austin, Texas, USA  78759-6544                           |   |
> Phone: 512-343-7297    Fax  : 512-343-7383               |   \_________
> Personal Messages:  512-343-7372  x115              _____|             |
> unisql!alan@cs.utexas.edu                           \          Austin  |
>                                                       \  ___     *    _/
> NOTE THE NEW E-MAIL ADDRESS!                           \/   \      __/
>                                                              \_   /
> "I'm not a native Texan, but I got here as                     \_/
> fast as I could!"

Enjoy.

Joanna.

| HAPPYNET Disclaimer: This disclaimer is not required by Leader Kibo. |
| This article does not necessarily represent the opinions of Leader   |
| Kibo.  Have a nice day.                                              |
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
From: kens@css.itd.umich.edu (Ken Small)
Subject: from rec.games.video
Organization: Univ. of Michigan ITD Consulting & Support Services
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 92 23:28:49 GMT

In article <sl12qINN92i@agate.berkeley.edu> hlee@cory.Berkeley.EDU (Han J. Lee) writes:
[stuff deleted]
>
>              ___------__             
>        |\__-- /\       _-   
>        |/    __      -      
>        //\  /  \    /__        Han J. Lee
>        |  o|  0|__     --_     hlee@cory.berkeley.edu
>        \\____-- __ \   ___-    
>        (@@    __/  / /_        
>           -_____---   --_      
>            //  \ \\   ___-       
>          //|\__/  \\  \        
>          \_-\_____/  \-\        
>               // \\--\|         
>	  ____//  ||_                   
>         /_____\ /___\   


My god  it's SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!  RUN!
(and plenty o' whitespace, too)
-- 
Ken Small
kens@umich.edu
Consulting and Support Services, University of Michigan
From: steve@fulcrum.oz.au (Steve Taylor)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Re: My bird sig file copyright
Date: 14 Apr 92 23:46:12 GMT
Organization: The Fulcrum Consulting Group

In <rdippold.703149268@cancun> rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold) writes:

>kibo@world.std.com (James 'Kibo' Parry) writes:
>>I found this gem in rec.arts.misc, and I'm including the whole article
>>since it is truly inspirational.  Also, I plan to sell copies of her
>>bird for $500 each, and she's never going to see a penny.  Bwahahahahahaha!

>>>   I spent a lot of time and effort designing this little ASCII gem.  Almost
>>>2 whole days.  Please don't rip it off, and if you do, credit me as the
>>>original (and only) artist and author.
>>>
>>>   Thank you,                      Julie Petersen, Computer Artist

I suggest that this could best be managed by a flat (and very small) tax on
all internet transmissions, which could be used to pay Julie for the use of
her birdie. REMEMBER - your .sig piracy stifles the creativity of ascii
artists around the world.


							Steve
From: marcs@yang.earlham.edu (Marc Seebass(Thunderbolt))
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Re: Cannon Fodder.
Date: 9 Apr 92 02:04:41 GMT
Article-I.D.: yang.1992Apr8.210441.16832
Organization: Earlham College, Richmond, Indiana

> Do tell.
> Marc, why do you blame me?
> Do you think that my statements in person on your planfile were solely my 
> opinion?  I was originally directed to it by someone else who told me, 
> quote, go finger marcs, he's got this really stupid planfile, unquote.  
> Shortly after that incident I suggested to you that you change your 
> planfile, in no small part to prevent that sort of thing.  Perhaps you 
> thought that then I went ahead and flamed you anyway?  I did not make that
>  post.  Period.  Do you understand that?
> 
> Furthermore, if you want to discuss cheap shots, suggesting -- on the Net, 
> with a post made to an international newsgroup no less!-- that people send 
> me hate mail is undoubtably the cheapest shot of them all.  If you feel 
> that you cannot discuss such actions with me before taking such uncalled 
> for measures, you should at least check your nettiquette.
> 
> Now, once again.  For the Record, again.  I did not post that flame.  If 
> you wanted to reply, replying via email would have been appropriate.  
> Directing flames to the visions account would be, as well.  You did 
> neither.  Furthermore, you accuse me of cowardice, and hiding behind 
> anonymnity in a group account.  Well, here I am.  
> 
> And why are you so sure that it was me, anyway?  There are _many_ people 
> who know, or could easily obtain, the password to the Visions account.  It 
> _is_ anonymous.  Unless someone comes forward, we may never know who was 
> responsible.  But I'd have no idea how to do that post, anyway.  Have you 
> tried copying screen text to an edt file?  I don't know how to do it-- I 
> only recently learned how to make a sigfile, fer chrissakes!  And I sure 
> as hell wouldn't bother copying it by hand!  How petty do you think I am?
> Petty enough to ask net users worldwide to send someone hate mail?
> 
> Now then.  Take a deep breath, Marc.  Calm down.  And get a clue. 
> 
> -- Josh
Sorry if I was mistaken Josh, but you did mention my sig just before 
lunch, and the posting tolk place at a point when I was on the net, 
because I was fiddling with my plan file because the posted form was not 
the same as the final form. The personal comments led me to believe you 
were the peson who did it. I know you have a tendance to gripe about 
someone and not confront them directly. Anyway, to stop airing dirty 
laundry over the net, If I was mistaken I am sorry, but I do wish the 
guilty party would air his or her complaints to me directly and not 
flaunt  my plan file all over the net. These things are supposed to be 
fun.
From: johny@cogs.sussex.ac.uk (Lord Yak Da Hairy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: [eunet.jokes] Re: Murphy's Law
Date: 16 Apr 92 19:44:25 GMT
Organization: Danger UXH - The Unexploded Herring Disposal Squad

In article <1992Apr12.004316.4993@cs.umu.se> dvlust@cs.umu.se (Ulf Sj|stedt) writes:
#---------------------------------------------------------
#|  \ | /  |  \ | /  |  |\   |             Ulf Sjoestedt |
#|   \|/   |   \|/   |  | )  |          dvlust@cs.umu.se |
#|    |    |    |   -+- |/   |  "I trust you trust in me |
#|    |    |    |    |  |\   |   to mistrust you"        |
#|    |    |    |    |  | \  |                    - Fish |
#|---------------------------|---------------------------|
#
#PS If my .sig is screwed up, don't blame me
#   or flame me, ignorance is still legal
#-- 
#---------------------------------------------------------
#|  \ | /  |  \ | /  |  |\   |             Ulf Sjoestedt |
#|   \|/   |   \|/   |  | )  |          dvlust@cs.umu.se |
#|    |    |    |   -+- |/   |  "I trust you trust in me |

Well, he didn't say we couldn't warlord him... Gotta love that font, though
(NOT!)

Do like the targeting crosshairs in the middle, though - if only he'd fired
first...

-- John Yeates (Lord Yak Da Hairy) --------------------------------------------
-- johny@cogs.sussex.ac.uk ONLY (other account is dead)         (0273) 678318
-- ...THIS definitely takes, eats and shits the cake. - allane@unsw.oz.au
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
From: kibo@world.std.com (James 'Kibo' Parry)
Subject: Re: INVASION!!!
Organization: A room filled with typography (in Boston's Back Bay)
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1992 04:39:08 GMT

[alt.alien.visitors,alt.paranormal,et.al]
In article <1992Apr17.000143.29767@acsu.buffalo.edu> v129j6ed@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (We make money the ole fashioned way. We beat people for it.) writes:
>Gary, let me put this to you lightly.  I was willing to give you a total
>shadow of a doubt reading your article.  What I find to help me think
>your story questionable, is the fact that your real parents keep 
>coming back, and then being replaced, back and forth.  This is not
>highly improbable, but just plain, well, insane.  
[and the amusing thing is that Gary realizes that big annoying .sigs
are, well, big annoying .sigs.  I think Gary's relatively sane compared
to the rest of the net.]
>
>*******************************************************************************
>"Groovy!" - Ash "Evil Dead II : Dead By Dawn" (1987)
>*******************************************************************************
>"Fans are interesting things. Rush fans just can't comprehend why the
>rest of the world doesn't like Rush. REM fans consider the rest of the world
>beneath their social level to notice. Kate Bush fans love the rest of the
>world, and the world loves them, but spend long nights plotting to knife
>one another."                    --Richard Darwin
>                                   Richard Darwin #33, "Gradenza"
>*******************************************************************************
>"It's Nothing.  It's just a private joke between me and whoever is going to
>be my analyst."  - Cary Grant "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House" (1948)
>*******************************************************************************
>v129j6ed@ubvms
>The KaTeFan(tm)
From: dougo@sting.Berkeley.EDU (Doug Orleans)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Crunchtageous!
Date: 11 Apr 92 21:20:03 GMT
Article-I.D.: sting.DOUGO.92Apr11162003
Organization: /usr/users/dougo/.organization
NNTP-Posting-Host: sting.berkeley.edu

###############################################################################
#   Andre M. Czausov       //                                                 #
#   Deakin University     //     "I can feel my Earth begin to move           #
#   Geelong, Victoria    //      I hear my needle hit the groove              #
#   AUSTRALIA    *      //      And Spiral through another day                #
#            *         //      I hear my song begin to say                    #
#                  *  //      Kiss me where the Sun don't shine               #
#               *    //      The Past was yours, but the Future's mine..."    #
#_______     *      //_______________                     -- the STONE ROSES  # 
#   INTERNET = anders@deakin.oz.au   |                                        #
###############################################################################
From: liz@wpi.WPI.EDU (Evil Mistress of Power Suction)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Re: <None>
Date: 7 Apr 92 21:22:20 GMT
Article-I.D.: wpi.1992Apr7.212220.22706
Organization: WPI - So much stress we`re giving it away

From alt.tv.muppets:

In article <amymw.702657438@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> amymw@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu
(Amy Wisotsky) writes:
>
> __.  ______  __  , ______  , , ,
>(_/|_/ / / <_/ (_/_/ / / <_(_(_/_  @chaos.cs.brandeis.edu
>                /  "Gimme the beat boys, and free my soul.
>(617) 736-5646 '   I wanna get lost in your rock and roll
>		   and drift away..."    -Dobie Gray


*retch*  Just when you thought a bad day couldn't get any worse...


::::::::::::::::::::                                     :::::::::::::::::
 Liz Stewart      ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Today's Mood
 liz@wpi.wpi.edu :   "Her mind is Tiffany twisted..."      :   neener
 Venus on IRC   :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::    neener
::::::::::::::::                                             :::::::::::::
From: st902415@pip.cc.brandeis.edu (Adam Levin)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Re: T2 - Why didn't Sarah die???
Date: 8 Apr 92 01:31:02 GMT
Reply-To: st902415@pip.cc.brandeis.edu
Organization: Brandeis University

In article <1992Apr7.235043.16624@acsu.buffalo.edu>, opnsmurf@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Da Smurf) writes:
>In article <1992Apr6.160854.305@canon.co.uk>, tim@crash.canon.co.uk writes...
>>In loadsagroups (well 3), gberigan@cse.unl.edu (Life...) quotes and signs:
>>:
>>|--
>>|  ///   ____   \\\       | CAUTION:
>>|  | |/ /    \ \| |       | Avoid eye contact.  In case of contact, flush
>>|   \\_|\____/|_//        | mind for 15 minutes.  See a psychiatrist if
>>|       \_)\\/            | irritation persists.  Not to be taken
>>|gberigan `-' cse.unl.edu | seriously.  Keep out of sight of children.
>> 
>>I guess that gberigan thought that by including such a brute of a sig
>>that his weird ascii moose/thistle/plant_from_the_little_shop_of_horrors/
>>whatever_the_*fuck*_that_is wouldn't get picked on... Think again ascii
>>blob designer space cadet.
>
>	DUH! DOE! HUD! That's the 'smiley' from Hitchhikers Guide to the
>Galaxy... and it aint too bad... recognizable at least.. well ok you got
>me... i give it a 3.7
>
>Jm.

Hey, did anyone else catch that monsterous ASCII Hhgttg smiley on 
rec.arts.comics.strips? It wasn't bad, as far as ASCII goes, like that
Bob someone posted before.


Adam Levin		st902415@pip.cc.brandeis.edu
"Is college hard or easy? It's easy! Just remember
 the three magic words! Sink or Swim!!!"
		--Matt Groening, _School is Hell_
From: joshm@yang.earlham.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.warlord
Subject: Re: Cannon Fodder.
Date: 9 Apr 92 01:43:02 GMT
Article-I.D.: yang.1992Apr8.204302.16831
Organization: Earlham College, Richmond, Indiana

In article <1992Apr8.201652.16829@yang.earlham.edu>, marcs@yang.earlham.edu (Marc Seebass(Thunderbolt)) writes:
> Josh, If you are too much of a coward to do this on your own account, 
> please don't use the Visions account to post things. Plan file has nothing 
> to do with sig files because the problem with large sig files is they 
> waste space on the net, a plan file only takes up space on the 
> individual's account. And as for the spelling, I have no idea how to use 
> the vax's spelling checker or if it really has one. As to anyone else 
> reading this, I think that warlording a person's plan file is a cheep 
> shot, espcialy when you use a group acount, so you can do it anonamously. 
> If you agree please send hate mail to JOSHM@YANG.Earlham.edu.

Really.
Naturally, having had gentle words with you about the contents of your 
planfile, pointing out how frankly silly parts of it were, I decided to 
hide in the visions account and flame you on the net.

Do tell.
Marc, why do you blame me?
Do you think that my statements in person on your planfile were solely my 
opinion?  I was originally directed to it by someone else who told me, 
quote, go finger marcs, he's got this really stupid planfile, unquote.  
Shortly after that incident I suggested to you that you change your 
planfile, in no small part to prevent that sort of thing.  Perhaps you 
thought that then I went ahead and flamed you anyway?  I did not make that
 post.  Period.  Do you understand that?

Furthermore, if you want to discuss cheap shots, suggesting -- on the Net, 
with a post made to an international newsgroup no less!-- that people send 
me hate mail is undoubtably the cheapest shot of them all.  If you feel 
that you cannot discuss such actions with me before taking such uncalled 
for measures, you should at least check your nettiquette.

Now, once again.  For the Record, again.  I did not post that flame.  If 
you wanted to reply, replying via email would have been appropriate.  
Directing flames to the visions account would be, as well.  You did 
neither.  Furthermore, you accuse me of cowardice, and hiding behind 
anonymnity in a group account.  Well, here I am.  

And why are you so sure that it was me, anyway?  There are _many_ people 
who know, or could easily obtain, the password to the Visions account.  It 
_is_ anonymous.  Unless someone comes forward, we may never know who was 
responsible.  But I'd have no idea how to do that post, anyway.  Have you 
tried copying screen text to an edt file?  I don't know how to do it-- I 
only recently learned how to make a sigfile, fer chrissakes!  And I sure 
as hell wouldn't bother copying it by hand!  How petty do you think I am?
Petty enough to ask net users worldwide to send someone hate mail?

Now then.  Take a deep breath, Marc.  Calm down.  And get a clue. 

-- Josh