HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: letting the sun go down...
Date: 15 Sep 92 16:58:45 +0200
Organization: University of Cape Town

New Woody Allen one:

What's Mia Farrow's favourite song right now?

- Don't let the son
  Go down on him....

(apologies to Elton John) 


Alternatively:

What's Woody's favourite song?

- Oh, let the son
  Go down on me....
 _________________________________________________________________________
|                                 |                                       |
|  Ed Rybicki                     |    Now you've got the hang of it      |
|  Dept Microbiology              | There's nothing you can't do with it  |
|  University of Cape Town        |         If you're very into it        |
|  PB Rondebosch 7700             |         You can't go wrong....        |
|  South Africa                   |                                       |
|  fax 27 21 650 4023             |              - Mad John               |
|  ed@micro.uct.ac.za             | (Ogden's Nut-Gone Flake, Small Faces) |
|_________________________________|_______________________________________|
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mike@cd.com (Mike Heins)
Subject: Re: Speed of dark
Organization: Central Data Corp., Champaign, IL
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 03:42:28 GMT

> WRONG !!!
> The speed of dark is 0 m.p.s. !!! You see, dark is nothing, it's merely
> the absence of light, it does not move, it simply exists until it is
> obliterate by the presence of light, only to return when this same light
> leaves. 

WRONG AGAIN!! As fast as light moves, darkness moves away from it.  So
it travels at the same speed, only backwards!

After all, isn't everything just relative?
--
      ______                                                               
      )     (   Mike Heins
     /       |  Central Data Corporation
    (      * |  Internet:  mikeh@cd.com
     \_      |  1602 Newton Dr., Champaign, IL 61821
       \     |  
       /    /   217/359-8010 (FAX 6904)
        \/\/    

This .sig just looks long.  It has no more characters than one which
fills 4 lines completely.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: drl@seanews.akita.com (James Mitchell)
Subject: Bush & Clinton
Organization: SEANEWS - Seattle Public Access News & Mail
Distribution: us
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 01:56:17 GMT


George Bush and Bill Clinton were walking through a forrest arguing
about who deserved to inherit the mantle of Harry Truman.  They met an
old man, wise in the ways of the forest and of the world and each tried
convince the man that he was right and the other candidate was the devil
incarnate.  Uppon hearing both sides of the argument the old man simply
pointed to a particularly tall clump of grass and stated "The buck stops
here".
From: pgh@cs.strath.ac.uk (Pete Hendry)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: A joke!
Date: 7 Sep 92 14:41:40 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Comp. Sci. Dept., Strathclyde Univ., Glasgow, Scotland.
Originator: pgh@kelvin-01

Glad to see there are more jokes in this group again. I gave up reading it
for a few months because of all the flaming, etc and the lack of 'humour'.

Keep it up.

Objoke:

Three guys walking down the street when they find an Alladins lamp. One of
them rubs the lamp and out pops the genie. It says 'you have released me so
each of you gets to make a wish'

The first guy says 'I want to be really intelligent and good looking'

ZZAAAPPP!!! The guy turns into a handsome teacher. (ok - fairly intelligent ;-)

The second guy says 'I want to be ten times more good looking and ten times
more intelligent that that guy'

ZZAAAPPP!!! The guy turns into an absolute hunk of a brain surgeon.

The third guy says 'I want to be ten times more good looking and ten times
more intelligent than the last guy'

ZZAAAPPP!!! He turns into a woman.
From: johnson@spectra.com (boyd johnson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Pearl Harbour (was Re:Agnostics and Athiests)
Date: 15 Sep 92 15:43:38 GMT
Organization: Spectragraphics Corporation

In article <1992Sep11.130721.1531@news.ysu.edu> ae642@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller) writes:
>
>In a previous article, rlw@atlanta.dg.com (Richard Wright) says:
>
>>	It's a JOKE, Rob. To be more exact, it is a line from a 
>>	movie. Belushi played a not-too-bright fighter pilot.
>
>Wrong movie, dude...you're thinking of "1942".  The quote came from the movie
>"Animal House", where Belushi played a not-too-bright college student...

Oh, yeah, I thought it was from the book "Wired", where he played a
not-too-bright drug addict.


Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, Pepsi, Pepsi
-- 
======== Boyd Johnson    nosc!spectra.com!johnson  San Diego, Ca. ========
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect)
Subject: Re: STAR TREK PRANKS
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 04:05:17 GMT

In article <1992Sep13.000351.2720@venice.sedd.trw.com> gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore) writes:
>In article <1992Sep12.010111.14019@wam.umd.edu> ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect) writes:
>>Hah, here is some more American culture for you deprived non-americans
>>
>>Trekkies and Elvis fans
>>about the same level in popularity as jehovas witnesses and Avon salespeople
>>
>>The Air and Space Meuseaum is the new Mecca for the Trekkies due to the
>                   ^^^^^^^^
>What the HECK (we don't use cuss words) is THAT????
>-- 
>Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
 
What are you asking me for, I only typed it in!
You can't expect everything I type to make sense do you?
-ara


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: fsmgs@acad3.alaska.edu
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Followup-To: rec.arts.books
Organization: University of Alaska Fairbanks
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 02:00:05 GMT

In article <26533@scicom.AlphaCDC.COM>, lucas@scicom.AlphaCDC.COM (Huma Dragonbane) writes:
> In article <51ieqB1w165w@major.panix.com> dos@major.panix.com (Dave O'Shea) writes:
> +> >>} >>>>>>>IF THIS DOESN'T STOP, IM GOING TO START THE WORST CASCADE EVER.
> +> >>} >>>>>>WHILE EATING THIS SLOP, I SEWED THE FIRST BROCADE BEAVER.
> +> >>} >>>>>BILE FITTING RIG STOP, LIE SPEWED THIRST LIVER !!!!
> +> >>} >>>>IF YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE, AT LEAST DELIVER...
> +> >>} >>>WHO MAY I ATTRIBUTE TO THIS BEASTLY SLIVER?
> +> >>} >>TO SPAY A LUTE IN A GREASY RIVER
> +> >>} >DAMN CASCADERS THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER
> +> >>} I WILL NOT CASCADE; NOPE, NO, NEVER
> +> >>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A TRAIN?
> +> >WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, IN THE RAIN?
> +> R2-D2 ON THE BRAIN?
> +OY, THE PAIN!
> BUT WITHOUT PAIN THERE BE NO GAIN!
> 
> 
> -- 
> Huma of the Lance, Alpha Institute. -- DOMAIN lucas@scicom.alphacdc.com
> Order of the Crown  ncar!scicom!lucas --- Huma Dragonbane of Solamnia
> "Est Sularis Oth Mithas, My Honor is my Life." --- Old Solamnic Saying
> Ah love! What a strange and wonderous thing!!  --- Me on love (and in love!)
> 
> 
> -- 
> Huma of the Lance, Alpha Institute. -- DOMAIN lucas@scicom.alphacdc.com
> Order of the Crown  ncar!scicom!lucas --- Huma Dragonbane of Solamnia
> "Est Sularis Oth Mithas, My Honor is my Life." --- Old Solamnic Saying
> Ah love! What a strange and wonderous thing!!  --- Me on love (and in love!)
From: lbs@madeira.phys.ufl.edu (Lech Borkowski)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Christian Joke
Date: 9 Sep 92 20:45:25 GMT
Organization: University of Florida Physics Department - CMT Group

In article <cm182s182.04hr@pdrome.UUCP> cm182s182@pdrome.UUCP (Clayton Miner) writes:
>harden..your attitudes already have but there may be hope for you yet...

>And now a joke (I hope)...
 And now I hope (a joke)...

 Bulba 

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage)
Subject: Life
Organization: Epicentre of the Universe
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 07:59:19 GMT

All these Life 3.x and Life 6.x, are they ALL available somewhere for
anonymous FTP?

Cheers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David Bromage       brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au   : 
Monash University                                : "I think thinking is 
Clayton, Victoria   				 :  so important"
 Australia                                       : 	-Baldrick
 						 :   
     May the source be with you			 :     
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
	All views expressed are my own except those which conflict with
	my personal opinions.


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: dalton@big-joe.cs.unlv.edu (Beiad Dalton)
Subject: Re: More tasteless acronyms (or The Tale of the Unfinished List)
Reply-To: dalton@big-joe.cs.unlv.edu (Beiad Dalton)
Organization: UNLV Computer Science and Electrical Engineering
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 92 23:17:39 GMT


SEP = Somebody Else's Problem.

This comes from __Life, the Universe, and Everything__.
From: pauls@hpnmdla.sr.hp.com (Paul Stafford)
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 20:31:43 GMT
Subject: Re: And Still The Moon
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Santa Rosa, CA
Newsgroups: rec.humor

In rnets ago around and around in circles we say they are orbiting.
 When people do it we say they are crazy.
 
	 A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way to go.
	 
		 Genetics explain why you look  like your father and if you don't why you
		  should.
		  
			  Vacuums are nothings.  We only mention them to let them know we know the
			  y're here.
			  
				  We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation.  Evaporation ge
				  ts
				  blamed for many things people forget to put the top on.
				  
					  I am not sure how clouds get formed.  But clouds know how to do it and t
					  hat
					  is the important thin
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mauax@warwick.ac.uk (Brazil)
Subject: Re: Humor
Organization: Computing Services, Warwick University, UK
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 00:32:44 GMT

In article <92246.221038HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu> HCM100@psuvm.psu.edu writes:
>In article <1992Sep2.171641.5679@gagme.chi.il.us>, anton@gagme.chi.il.us
>(Andrzej Borowiec) says:
>>>  How come this is called 'rec.humor'?
>>Are you trying to start a cascade?
>He's probaly got a brain tumor.
And perhaps he hasn't paid.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: What is...?
From: dogbowl@dogbox.acme.gen.nz (dogbowl)
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 92 18:45:23 Y
Organization: The Dawghaus BBS

scot@jlc.mv.com (Scot Salmon) writes:

> In article <1992Aug31.123830.27885@newstand.syr.edu> rsadve@rodan.acs.syr.edu
> >What is a word with four letters that ends in   UNT  and is exclusively
> >female?
> >
> >Ans:
> >
> >Aunt.....
> 
> A word beginning with F and ending with UCK?
> 
> Firetruck.


A four letter word begining in W and ending in K?


Work - Now get back to it!



dogbowl at The Dawghaus BBS  ( +64 6 357-9245 )


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: splummer@orlith.bates.edu (Sarah Plummer)
Subject: Vampire jokes
Organization: Bates College, Lewiston, Maine
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 19:13:34 GMT

I have two favorite jokes which I just have to share.  My friends at home
and school are sick of them, but I tell them to every new person I meet.

1)
Three vampires go into a bar.  The waitress walks up to them and asks them
what they'll have.

The first vampire says:  I'll have a pint of A positive.
The second vampire says:  I'm driving, so I'll have a pint of plasma.
The third vampire says:  I'll have a pint of o positive.

The waitress turns to the barman and yells: Two bloods and a blood light!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now for my very favorite:

Three vampires go into a bar.  The waitress walks up to them and asks them 
what they'll have.

The first vampire says:  I'll have a pint of B positive.
The second vampire says:  I'm not really thirsty, so I'll have half a pint
of AB negative.
And the third vampire says:  I'll just have hot water please.

The waitress says: hot water?  What do you want that for?
The third vampire pulls out a used tampon and says:  I'm going to make tea!

That is my favorite joke of all time, and I weanted to share it with the WORLD!

Sarah Plummer

All replies to me by e-mail will be ignored.
From: Chris Mussack
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Famous Churchill Oxymoron Quote
Date: 8 Sep 92 21:05:48 GMT
Reply-To: mussack@innerdoor.austin.ibm.com
Organization: IBM Advanced Workstations Division Austin, Texas
Originator: mussack@bruin.austin.ibm.com


Once young Winston was spending spring break in Ft. Lauderdale.
As he carelessly flipped through the Sports Illustrated
swimsuit issue, three giggling co-eds from Georgia approached him.
"Excuse me, my friends and I were having some fun thinking
up oxymorons, you know, like millitary intelligence or
British love-making. Perhaps you would like to contribute."
Without looking up he quickly complied: "Your fat ass."
-- 
Chris Mussack        

mussack@innerdoor.austin.ibm.com
IBM Advanced Workstation Division     
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: meadows@asdsun.larc.nasa.gov (Byron Meadows)
Subject: Re: Humor
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center, Hampton, VA  USA
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 19:02:50 GMT

In article <trojanman.715819418@nowhere.com> melliott@convex.com (Mark Elliott) writes:
>In <1992Sep6.213655.7685@wam.umd.edu> ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect) writes:
>>> > > In article <1992Sep2.171641.5679@gagme.chi.il.us>, anton@gagme.chi.il.us
>>> > > (Andrzej Borowiec) says:
>>> > > >>  How come this is called 'rec.humor'?
>>> > > >Are you trying to start a cascade?
>>> > > He's probaly got a brain tumor.
>>> > Now look at the mess you made.
>>>Aargh!  Stop this right now!
>>Will whoever started this take a bow?
And as Bart says,"don't have a cow."
>
>
>
>--
>	Mark Elliott	melliott@trojan.convex.com
>        It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that 
>        caused the trouble in the garden.
>


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bantolph@carina.unm.edu (Bard's are the Best)
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 92 02:09:58 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

>>: In article <1ek4oB1w164w@jab.tucson.az.us> cr@jab.tucson.az.us (clint ruoho)
>writes:
>>: >kelly@igor.tamri.com (Kelly Kittell) writes:
>>: >
>>: >> We have a very pleasant Filipino woman who lives in our neighborhood.
>>: >> Her name is Bea Ver.
>>: >
>>: >I once knew a Jewish guy named Ham Berger...
>>:
>>: Delaware has a State Senator (or at least had one) named Al O. Plant.
>>
>>I knew a gynecologist, her name was Mrs. Hymen ....
>>

	I remember reading about Akeem Aloujan's (I know bad spelling) oldr
brother who lives in Nigeria is named Kaka.


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: aldavi01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu (Arlie Davis)
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 09:34:51 GMT
Organization: University of Louisville

In <1992Sep12.201110.2032@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu> naraht@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu (Randolph J. Finder) writes:

> In my mid the logical conclusion to this idea is:
> "What happens if the parents name the child an obscenity i.e. one of
> the seven words you can't say on TV? Can the state refuse to accept
> that? Can the state use the naming (either obscene or sadistic) as an
> arguement in a suit to have the child(ren) put into foster care?

Dimly do I recall a rumor about a mother who named her twin daughters
"Syphilis" and "Gonorrhea".  I think a neighbor / friend sued her,
probably for child abuse or all-around butt-headed-ness or something.
Can anyone confirm / deny this?

Also, here in Louisville, a woman who had just given birth overheard the
word "placenta" in conversation near her, decided that it was a "pleasant-
sounding word" (never having heard it before), and told the nurse that she
wanted to name her daughter "Placenta".  The nurse, to say the least, argued
against the idea.

-- 
lrwx------   1 aldavi01 emacsstu       9 Jun  6 12:43 .signature -> /dev/null
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: eburk@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu (Eli Burk)
Subject: Woody & Germany
Originator: eburk@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu
Organization: San Francisco State University
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 08:30:32 GMT

Is Woody Allen now popular in Germany?


-- 
..out in the street, with your cheap fur on, or maybe your plastic raincoat
and your plastic shoes, they look good too, standing in the snow you're young-
er than you look, {fall in love with me} 2X, how i wish you would...[Iggy Pop]
eburk@futon.sfsu.edu -or- eburk@sutro.sfsu.edu -or- eburk@sfsuvax1.sfsu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin)
Subject: Re: Life 6.F
Reply-To: pt@geovision.gvc.com
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 16:04:29 GMT

cate3.osbu_north@XEROX.COM writes:

>     There is a Martin Mull joke about finding a wonderful book 
>tittled "GIRL to GRAB", and then discovering it was volume 6 of the
>encyclopedia.

I guess that's the same encylopedia that has the volumes "How to Hug" and
"Learn to Love".

-- 
Paul Tomblin, pt@geovision.gvc.com (Canadian first, Quebecer second)
"We sealed our federal pact without bloodshed and without exploitation of the
weak by the strong.  All it took was fairness, justice and some compromises
on both sides." - George-Etienne Cartier, Father of Confederation, 1867
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jle@locus.com (John Elghani/10000000)
Subject: Re: Request, mother-in-law jokes
Organization: LC
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 07:04:02 GMT


Mike's mother in law forced herself on a cruze-ship trip along with
Mike and his wife. At the border checkpoint:
Officer:  Do you have anything is illegal?
Mike: My mother in law.

jle

P.S. Not funny, it is the silliest I've heard.
From: cowan@aqua.ocunix.on.ca (Darin Cowan (root))
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: nursery rhymes
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 92 01:46:56 GMT
Organization: The Aquarium, Ottawa, Ontario

Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org> writes:

> 
> The funniest british comedian was Benny Hill. To be honest with you, I really
> hate british comedy shows. I think they are lame beyond believe.

You can type that and then...

> I like ... Married with Children, ... etc. Those are,... the funniest shows
> around.
             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You must live in a cultural vacuum or something.

I cannot imagine a show lamer, to use your words, than "married with
children".  If that show is the epitome of American comedy, it is
demonstrable proof that Americans are in sad shape.

I have to admit, your message was the funniest one I've read in here in
a while.




Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: 2261as@gmuvax2.gmu.edu ( )
Subject: Re: READ/NEXT
Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, Va.
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 12:48:27 GMT

In article <1992Sep4.130444.60@taney.uscghq.uscg.mil> lederman@taney.uscghq.uscg.mil writes:
>   I haven't read all of the articles here, and seeing all of the
> flames I may not.  But since the request was made for American
> jokes, here is one.  (I understand this joke originated in
> Poland, so it's a Polish joke as well, in the proper sense.)  I
> hope it's not a repeat.
>
> Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
>
> A: 643.  When the bulbs burn out they tear down the building and
>          put up a new one.
>

If that is an Americans joke, it sort of looks like it
originated in Japan, software engineer aspect at least.

how 'bout this?

  Q: How many Japanese people does it take to change a lightbulb?

  A: 101.  One to get the idea from the west and 100 to try and
           improve on it.


-- 
My signature file...
Cool huh?
Gee, only one more line to fill up.
How's this?
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
From: miroslaw@physc1.byu.edu
Date: 14 Sep 92 00:51:05 -0600
Followup-To: rec.humor
 <1992Sep12.010425.3073@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> <1992Sep12.235740.2551@venice.sedd.trw.com>
Distribution: world
Organization: Brigham Young University

In article <1992Sep12.235740.2551@venice.sedd.trw.com>, gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore) writes:
> In article <1992Sep12.010425.3073@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> 10u6070@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au writes:
>>In article <1992Aug31.145217.202595@uctvax.uct.ac.za>, rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za writes:
>>> So, chaps - enough of the Polish jokes already!  8-|
>>>
> {untold lines of American (really U.S.A, they never seem to understand
>  about South AMERICA, Canada, Mexico} bashing drivel deleted}
>>
>>
>>Someone keep criticising the Americans - they get so funny when they get
>>patriotic.
> 
> WHAT!!!!!!!  Me patriotic!!!!!!!!!  You muther whacking son of a pig
> ficking horses ass!!!!!!!!  YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> 


America, the land of opportunity.
The frequent flyer program.

I discovered this fantastic american dream accidentally, when I criticized
the play of the US olympic hockey team.   After a short conversation where 
the referee was named 'a swedish communist' (the game was with the Unies)
I was offered a free airline ticket to Cuba.  
Since then I repeated this scheme many times. 
It's easy.
Imagine you're a himalaist and wish you were in Nepal.  You need to find an
american patriot and pick any subject, like e.g. TV.  You tell him american TV
sucks and the best TV you ever watched was in Katmandu.  At first he could
weep and ask something like "why do you hate America so much??! ". You have to
be tough and continue about sitcoms, wrestling, evangelists, commercials, news
etc. When finally he'll utter "love it or leave it!" you're all set. 
Other possibilities are beer, education, health care, gun control, child abuse,
date rape, family values, baseball, coca cola, addictive ketchup drinking-- 
the list is endless . 
Be careful -- if you forget to name your destination -- for example the place 
with real family values (needn't to be Palermo ) best fire arms laws (needn't 
to be Afghanistan ) -- the default is -- at 
present  --
Cuba.   
Your only worry is to exchange a one way ticket for a round trip , come back
and plan a next vacation.
There is no problem if you want to go to Hawaii or even Louisiana.  Just avoid
those Americans with Ph. D . in geography. They could have an atlas at home and
look it up. 

Have a nice trip. 
 Mirek Gruszkiewicz
From: saal@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (samuel.saal)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: POLITACALLY CORRECT DOUBLE SPEAK????
Date: 10 Sep 92 16:53:06 GMT
Organization: liver ---> spleen

In article <2AAE5975.10162@news.service.uci.edu>
altshule@skid.ps.uci.edu (Eric Altshuler) writes:

>This was mailed to me so I thought I would pass it on.  It is a sub-section
>of the PC Primer which was very long.  If you are easily offended, then don't
>read this.  If you do, then its your own fault if you get pissed.  You are in
>here somewhere.

A wise disclaimer.

>Woman                           -   Womyn, Vaginal-American

No. This is culturally elitiest and should not include the word
"American."  How about "Vaginaly Enabled" or "Vaginally Adept" (though
that may be the term for "pervert" or "paramour") or "Gynecologically
Adept Earth Child."

>Post Man                        -   Post Person

Don't you run into the recursive problem of having the word "son"
considered sexist in the word "person"?  Maybe we need an entry for Person
(how about "post-child" which makes Postman into "Post post-child").

>Mail Man                        -   Person Person

Using the same concerns, this becomes "post-child post child" which might
be confusingly reduced to "post-child."

>Prostitute                      -   Sex Surrogate
>                                    (Teen Victim.  See:  Broken Home)
				sexually generous

>Bald                            -   Comb-Free
				follicularly challenged

>Dead People                     -   Disfunctional Earth Children
				respiratorially challenged

>HouseBroken                     -   Family Disfunction 
				urinarilly enabled
				alimentarily enabled

>Senile Bag o' Bones             -   Alzheimer's Victim
				old-timer's disease?
-- 
Sam Saal      kingfish!saal OR saal@kingfish.att.com
	Vayiftach HaShem et Peah Ha`Aton
Newsgroups: rec.humor