HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: markt@terapin.com (Mark Townsend)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: help! worried about friends...
Date: 30 Dec 92 15:25:02 PST
Organization: BBS

> I wouldn't restrict ito that age range.  Lots of people don'
> know at much more advanced ages, or haven't worked out enough of
> their issues. Think a *lot* aout what you are doing is excellent
> advice.
> 
> Now, what does winning the lottery change?

I know, I know. It probably won't change much. And you are right about the age
range. That is just a *basic* range when people are just starting to look at
their lifes. I know there are some who do it much later, but statistics is not
and exact science. =)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.couples
From: caforce@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (DALE FORCE)
Subject: Re: help!  worried about friends...
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center
Date: 29 Dec 1992 14:00 EST  

In article <1992Dec28.035809.29078@samba.oit.unc.edu>, Catherine.Collingwood@launchpad.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes...
>Help!
>Two friends of mine (ages 17 and 19) are engaged, which in itself is not 
>necessarily a bad thing, but...
> 
>It has recently come to my attention that, even though the marriage is
>mere months away, neither of them have thought to start talking about
>such minutae (sp?) as financial plans, where they're going to live,
>how they're going to tell their parents (which bothers me on another 
>plane too), etc..
>And they keep asking me for advice on how to make a relationship work!
> 
>I've tried several times to suggest to my friends -- both of whom are
>college students -- that they get a third party involved to advise
>them in setting up a successful marriage.  I'm not talking about a
>prenuptal agreement, I'm talking about talking out plans for a life
>together.  However, the next question is, of course, who?
>My answer?  A priest.  I'm far from religious myself, being an EXTREMELY
>lapsed Catholic, but I grew up that way and I know that this kind of
>advising is part of a preist's training.  I myself am engaged, and
>it has been suggested to me to go on a retreat that the Church 
>periodically holds to work on this same stuff.  My parents' fairly
>successful 18-year marriage owed a good part of its success to a
>retreat such as this.
>The problem?  My friends are notoriously anti-religion.  I can't
>convince them that the priest isn't going to tell them how to live
>their life, but merely help them figure out what -they- want to do.
>But the minute my friends hear me say the word "priest" they don't
>hear anything else.
> 
>So do any of you know of anyone else I can suggest that is fairly
>inexpensive?  They also told me that a marriage counselor is too
>expensive (something I can understand) and there's nothing wrong 
>with their relationship either.  In short, my friends want advice,
>but refuse to believe me in that certain types of counsellors won't
>be biased.
>I really want my friends to work out, and I think that if they don't
>get bogged down in the little things, they will.  But what kind of
>a marriage is it where they start out without even a house to live in
>or a way to pay for it?
> 
>Thanks so much
>Lady Firebird
>aka Catherine
>--
>   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
>     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
>        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
>           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
It is likely that the college they attend has counseling services available 
at a reasonable price ( likely free).

The view expressed above are not those of NASA or even of myself.
From: markt@terapin.com (Mark Townsend)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: help! worried about friends...
Date: 29 Dec 92 16:29:00 GMT
Organization: BBS

>   They're in college, have no concrete plans, their parents don't
> know, and they're looking for advice about making a relationship
> work...  and they're getting married in a few months?  I'm not
> saying there's anything wrong with them wanting to spend their life
> together, especially since I don't know them, but can't the wedding
> wait?  It sounds possible that they may be going for this early
> wedding partly

I know what you mean. Why is it that people this young feel it necessary to get
married so quickly. They both have so much growing up to do, in 2 or 3 years
they are going to be almost totally different people. Believe me I know. I just
recently broke up with the girl of my dreams(supposedly). I had gone out with
her since I was 17 years old(I am now 21) and it was mainly because we had both
grown apart from each other. 

Basically, if you are between the ages of 17 and 22 and you are thinking about
getting married. Think a little about what you are doing. There are so many
more factors involved than just being in love with someone. Unless, of course,
you won the lottery and will be getting $300,000 a year from the goverment.

Mark Townsend
Oakland, California

Internet: markt@terapin.com
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: huesmann@wam.umd.edu (Joseph Edward Huesmann)
Subject: Re: "1001 More Romantic Things To Do"
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 17:31:08 GMT

In article <1992Dec30.010353.17962@wam.umd.edu> huesmann@wam.umd.edu (Joseph Edward Huesmann) writes:
>
>For those of you who are romance-impaired (or whose SO is thus) Greg Godek's
>sequel to "1001 Romantic Things To Do", "1001 More Romantic Things To Do" is
>out. Just like the first book, it contains many bits of useful information/
>advice on romance and relationships. I just picked it up the other day, so
>it probably hasn't been out too long. (Not that it's going to help me much,
>anyway, of course... :( But good luck to those of you it may help.)
>
>Happy Holidays to those of you who seem to care about them.
>
>Joe
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>|  huesmann@wam.umd.edu     "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all   |
>|  Joseph E. Huesmann        the world, she walks into mine!"                |
>|                                              -- Rick Blaine, "Casablanca"  |
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sorry, folks, for the screwup. The titles are: "1001 (More) Ways to Be
Romantic"... Must have had a temporary case of insanity...

Joe
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.men,soc.women,alt.sex,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: jimgar@scorch.apana.org.au (Jim Garner)
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
Organization: Craggenmoore public Unix system , Newcastle , Oz
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 13:16:38 GMT

I don't think he should smell very strong at all.
-- 
Jim Garner B.Math (Newcastle NSW Australia) - jimgar@scorch.apana.org.au

Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.men,soc.women,alt.sex,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: charles@zip.eecs.umich.edu (Charles Jacob Cohen)
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 15:43:45 GMT

In article <C04LDD.BL3@world.std.com> aep@world.std.com (Andrew E Page) writes:
>
>Strong enough to keep two hearts from breaking.

He should be strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

Wait a second...


-- 
"I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense,
reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use." - Galileo
"I'm an engineer, not a dictionary!" - Me
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Hands through hair, NOT A SIGN.
From: jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner)
Date: 23 Dec 92 00:47:28 EST
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

sl31+@andrew.cmu.edu ("Stephen M. Lacy") writes:
> > >hands through her hair at least 2-3 times during the class.
> 
> This is the biggest and most troublesome hangup I've heard that 
> girls have with guys.  Here's the explanation: For some reason guys 
> think that its really sexy and an 'invitation' if I could call it 
> that, when a girl runs her hands through her hair.  Well, let me 
> tell you something: it usually means nothing at all.

on the other hand, if she runs her hands through -your- hair...

trust me, (she's doing it right now...)
jason

--
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`
`,`        Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty        `,` 
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu ,`,`,`
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen)
Subject: I belong to her, and .........
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 13:07:31 GMT

When two people's hearts come together and touch, and they mutually
agree to share their lives together while supporting one another, this
is called "commitment". This is a rare word these days because the 
word "sex" has more immediate value as a sales tool in the media ( sex
sells ) and sex is viewed as greater than love; this is the lie of the 
century. Sex without love is for the moment, while sex with love is 
forever.
	Commitment means two hearts are joined in a permanent way.
The logical outcome of commitment is marriage; this is intended to give
permanence to the joining of the hearts and protection to the girl in many
ways that lesser liaisons do not. She BELONGS, not just used.
	When two hearts commit to one another is one of the great 
moments in life; I will never forget committing to my wife, nor will she
ever forget committing to me. From this point on we both gained because
two married people working together are more than 2 people; as they
become more supportive of each other their efforts multiply and their
output represents that of perhaps 3 people, or even 4 people. This is 
why strongly commited couples achieve at accelerated rates; it's 
happened to us these past 43 years, and it can happen to you. The business
school types refer to the as "multiplication of effort".
	I don't believe any man or woman can achieve happiness or
sucess in their endeavor without commitment. "Fence sitting" is merely
a way to avoid commitment; it prevents a person from moving forward in
either their marriage or their job. It is the downfall of man. I'm told that many
women are better than one; the person who told me this doesn't have even the 
foggyest notion of what love is; his objective is glandular and not of the heart.
He does not give of himself, he takes. Commitment takes a lot of courage, and 
people who will not commit themselves have an inner weakness which they 
often disguise as bravado or macho.They try to pass themselves off as 
"the wonder of our times" or the "master stud". They simply lack the strength
to commit, an act of great courage.
	Yes, I belong to her, and she belongs to me, we are committed to each
other for life. This does not mean that I "own" her, for she has a mind of her
own, a great mind, and she thinks quite differently than I. We have differing 
interests and often vote differently, but still we each put the other ahead of 
everything else. She knows that I love her, because I tell her so every day. And
vice versa. I cannot be happier than when I am with Elizabeth. I reccomend 
our way of life to every young person seeking happiness.


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bacon@mtu.edu (Jeff Bacon)
Subject: Re: Chivalry and Honor...
Organization: Michigan Technological University
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 1993 21:51:23 GMT

In article <phantasm.726032401@vincent1.iastate.edu> phantasm@iastate.edu () writes:
>>>> There are Gentleman's virtues that wouldn't help them being a good officer
>>>> when dealing with the Enemy. Such as politeness, courtesy, fairness,
>>>> honesty, kindness and mercy.
>>> Today, perhaps very true... To my mind, also very unfortunate...
>> not necessarily. certainly not always.
>Not neccessarily true, or not necessarily unfortunate?

that is not necessarily true.
it all depends on the individual person. as it always has.
we just romanticize those figures in the past who displayed them.
and perhaps attribute them to ppl who didn't necessarily have them.

>> are things really so different? and was it truly so back then? did
>> was honor and politeness not a hindrance then too? and do you really
>> think there were no unscrupulous people back then? 
>> I don't think humans have really changed all THAT much.
>Certainly humanity has not changed that much, but I think human attitudes
>have changed... Certainly, the ease and cleanliness with which we can deal
>destruction today, and the lengthening of our lifespans have influenced our
>perceptions of war...

better living thru technology!

seriously. if they had the kind of weapons we have now back then, 
don't you think they would have used them?

and certainly our longer lifespans have an effect. we live longer. 
which means dying in a war means we lose more. so we try to avoid it more.

-bacon
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.men,soc.women,alt.sex,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil)
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 06:40:26 GMT

stone@cwis.unomaha.edu (Travis Stone) writes:

>******************************************************************

>Strong enough to keep from *breaking* a heart, through thoughtlessness,
>lack of love, or indifference....

>****************************************************************** 

Hmmm...a man cannot always help breaking a heart.  Or a woman, for that 
matter.  I might point out that broken hearts are inevitable in this life.
You just have to let time heal the pain.

My ex-SO and I are trying to be friends now.  But he tells me that it hurts
him a great deal that I am so sad about the breakup.  He tells me that it
hurts him to see how much I am hurting and that this is standing in the way
of our friendship.  

I have tried to tell him that there was no way to get around hurting me.
When he decided that he needed to break up in order to make a new relationship
with his current SO, there was no way that he was going to be able to do 
this without hurting me.  No matter how he went about breaking up with me 
at that time, I was going to get hurt.

And yes, I am still hurting.  It's been about three months and it really is
starting to get better, but I've been through this before.  I didn't want
the breakup and he did.  I know it will take some time to get through it.

What I'd really like to be, however, is friends.  Just because I am hurting,
however, does not necessarily mean that I want to get back together with him.
Yes, it really hurts that we're not together, but I'm not so sure that 
getting back together would make me feel any better.  

Anyway, the real point I wanted to get across was this: sometimes you can't
help breaking a heart.  He really wanted to be with her and there wasn't
much he could do except break up with me.  If he'd stayed with me, he'd just
resent me and it would be a lousy relationship.  

How strong does a man have to be?  A man has to be strong enough to do what
he thinks is right.  And this goes for a woman too.  

Sharon
oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu


Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Re: Equality between men and women; is there such a thing?
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems, Inc.
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 93 23:42:11 GMT

In article <1i5p7hINNdcn@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> ci022@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard Kirby) writes:
>
>In a previous article, charon@zephyr.cair.du.edu (Spaz) says:
>
>>
>>Equality between men and women.  Equality straight across the board.  Not
>>Equal when it suits a purpose, Not Equal just when it's convenient, but
>>Equality at ALL times be it good, or bad.  Knowing this, do you still
>>wish to be equal?
>>
>
>Since this is alt.romance.* I assume you refer to equality between
>my SO and me.  Which of course has little or nothing to do with
>equality in the workplace, battlefield, etc.
>
>No.  I want her to be better than me at her hobbies and career.
>And I want to be better at my hobbies and career.  This is not
>equality.  This is balence.
            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Good point, wish I had thought of it!

rip
-- 
While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (J. Fippen)
Subject: I don't think any caring man needs a "come on" line.
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 1993 13:16:44 GMT

	This net is degenerating into a place where junk thoughts prevail. All
this talk about "come on" line is for the stupid. Any woman with any self
respect at all wouldn't have anything to do with the creeps that hide behind
a "come on" line. Actually, these lines are a misnomer; they should be called
"turn off" lines, which is their proper name.
	How about treating women with gentleness and respect; it goes a long
way and keeps you out of the gutter.

			John Fippen

Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.men,soc.women,alt.sex,soc.couples,soc.singles
From: thester@nyx.cs.du.edu (Uncle Fester)
Subject: Re: How Strong Should a Man Be?
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 92 21:49:17 GMT


     It takes a strong man to cry.
     It takes an even stronger man to laugh at that man.

     Uncle Fester

  * Apologies to Jack Handey  :)

--
           :     What God Wants      :  God wants gigolos          :
           :        God gets         :  God wants giraffes         :
           :     God help us all     :  God wants politics         :
           : *thester@nyx.cs.du.edu* :  God wants a good laugh     :
From: pezzillo@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Amy J. Pezzillo)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: LDR's
Keywords: light at the end of the tunnel
Date: 22 Dec 92 01:17:40 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

I wish all you LDRs out there who are going to see each other over the
holidays the best of luck and *verry happy holidays!*

I'm going to see my SO, who I haven't seen since August 25!  I'm
flying out to Chicago on Dec. 28 -- that's just one week from today!
-- to spend two weeks with him!

I'm deliriously happy about it, and I can't believe I actually made it
through this much of our time apart.  

For the rest of the LDRs out there, I hope the light at the end of
your tunnel is coming soon!

ajp
From: soswald@charlie.usd.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: I like you, but I will never love you.
Date: 22 Dec 92 22:16:40 GMT
Reply-To: soswald@charlie.usd.edu
Organization: The University of South Dakota Computer Science Dept.

Whoa, there.  Your making some assumptions that I don't think are true.  I've been in a friendship where I knew that although I liked the person as a friend, I would never love them as a SO.  I can neither explain it nor defend it.  I was being trueful when I told him that I liked him as a friend, but I knew I would never love him.  If I was "using" him because I enjoyed being "friends" and doing things with him then, I think we all probably "use" our friends.  Male as well as female.  I was trying my hard






e
st to be honest, but he couldn't accept it.

I've also been in a relationship where it started out as friends.  We were friends for two years before we got romantically involved.  Unfortunately, it didn't work out.  But it was fun while it lasted!!!!!!

Happy Holidays, people,
Sandra Munkvold-Oswald
From: S.A.McIntyre@durham.ac.uk (Scott A. McIntyre)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Seduction Question
Date: 21 Dec 92 10:33:51 GMT
Reply-To: S.A.McIntyre@durham.ac.uk
Organization: University of Durham


Seduction can be much more psychological than physical touching.  My wife was engaged to
another man when we met.  I fell in love and wasn't about to stop until, well, until. 
Yes, there was the physical side, the late night talks, biscuits, tea, cuddles when we
really shouldn't have been, but there was something else as well.

It can be far more effective to make the target of your seduction rapidly change from left
to right hemisphere thinking; talk about philosophy, about dreams, about moral issues,
then turn to concrete memories of the person and their life, their childhood, and so on. 
If they start yawning, it's working.  After some days of doing this, but in a friendly
way, the person will begin to appreciate having their mind turned on as well as their body.

It worked for me.

Scott

-- 
EMAIL: S.A.McIntyre@durham.ac.uk   OR   scott@shrug.dur.ac.uk (NeXTmail)
SNAIL: Pyschment of Departology, University of Durham, Durham, DH1 3LE
SUN Computers:  "Nice chips, shame about her OS"
"If a virtual tree falls in a virtual forest, does it make a virtual sound?"
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Re: a gift for him
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems, Inc.
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 92 20:12:37 GMT

In article <92Dec21.163424.23740@acs.ucalgary.ca> verwey@acs.ucalgary.ca (Mary-Ann Verwey) writes:

**stuff deleted**

>>You mean you want a special lady to give presents to?  I am broken
>>hearted!  I thought I was the only Slave in your life! :-(
>
>Awww now Rip.. you know you are the only slave in my life... no
>need to fret :) MA patpats Rip affectionately... You are a very
>fine slave Rip... you just might spoil me for others ;)

That's the whole idea!  If I treat you nice enough, then all those bad
things that people say about me won't mean anything....  I mean, if I
am busy being your Slave, then no one can accuse me of carousing with
sheep.....

>>rip(MA's Slave and love toy)
>
>SNUGS!!!!

*Hugsbackatcha!*

>Mary-Ann (Rip's very please Mistress)

Glad to be of service!

rip
-- 
The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Re: Best Place for a Sunset...
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems, Inc.
Date: Fri, 1 Jan 93 22:42:19 GMT

In article <93Jan01.211702.19347@acs.ucalgary.ca> verwey@acs.ucalgary.ca (Mary-Ann Verwey) writes:
>In article <1992Dec31.183157.22602@sequent.com> rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec31.121633.304@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> rmair@nyx.cs.du.edu (Ross Mair) writes:
>>>rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:
>>>
>>>>In article <1992Dec29.015323.5518@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> rmair@nyx.cs.du.edu (Ross Mair) writes:
>>
>>**deleted stuff**
>>
>>>>>I've never spent a *whole* week in bed....  :-)~~~~~
>>>
>>>>I think she means *tied up* in bed, for a week....
>>>
>>>Tied up in the busy sense, Rip.
>>>I don't use ropes!  :-)
>>
>>You don't *have* to...  My Mistress knows more knots than drieux!
>
>MA winks at her slave and smiles at Ross wondering whether he can
>handle it? ;)

Just be careful not to cut off the circulation to the extremities...

>Mary-Ann (Pleased with her slave)

I do try.... ;-)

rip(*Very* pleased with his Mistress...)
-- 
Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we use the ones we
have?
From: lf@marooned.berkeley.edu (LexicographicalFiend)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Belated Christmas Wishes
Date: 26 Dec 92 22:11:54
Organization: Fiends' Guild of ARCland
NNTP-Posting-Host: marooned.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: sinister@ac.dal.ca's message of 24 Dec 92 11:03:12 -0400

Here's wishing ya all a VeryMerryChristmas (whatever position you
decide to celebrate it in 8-) and a JollyGoodNewYear (I gather that
it's traditional in ARCland to grab the nearest MOAS and do the
CheekyChocolateChomp -- after smearing it all over each other's nekkid
bods, of course 8-).

Now it's back to camp for yet another week of training on a bum
ankle...bummer...8-)

LexicographicalFiend, Pundis Horrendis Aevi
  Official ReallyGrossDittyWriter of ARCland and DirtyMindedApe
  Bro to Rip, 'Chelle, HotDi, Miche and Sarek; SpiritualBro to Lis
  'Chelle's Bouncer, Plucked From Retirement
  BackupLeatherGod and LexiTerminator
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat