From: apm@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (anne.pida.mellen)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Second Baby Thoughts ...
Summary: Have one party for all children instead
Date: 19 Aug 92 18:41:44 GMT
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories

In article <1992Aug17.201108.2202370@locus.com>, judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer) writes:
> In article <14AUG199214491157@eldyn.gsfc.nasa.gov> goldberg@eldyn.gsfc.nasa.gov (Patti Twigg) writes:
> >In article <1992Aug13.223847.13800@umiami.ir.miami.edu>, ahelmers@umiami.ir.miami.edu writes...
> >> 
> >>Another purely personal choice, IMO.  Our birthday parties for our son have
> >>consisted of a family get-together with a few gifts, barbecue and cake/ice
> >>cream for dessert.  In his nursery school they encourage the parents to bring
> >>in treats for the whole group on the child's birthday, so that takes care of it
> >>for the next year also.  No need to worry about parties, unless *you* want to.
> >> 
> >Oh ,boy, let me guess, your son is your oldest? My daughter was invited
> >to her first birthday party when she was 3, by a classmate from daycare
> >who was turning 4. 'How you gonna keep them down on the farm, after 
> >they've seen Paree........'? Later that year we started the kid party
> >route when my daughter turned 4. Good luck. I hope your plan works!
> >                                      Patti Twigg
> 
> Well, I have to inject my inflamatory 2 cents in here.  I think Patti is right.
> I have found starting at about 3.5, having friends became VERY important to
> Mitchell.  More important than I could have dreamed.  And having 21 children
> show up for HIS birthday party was better than any of the toys he recieved. 
> He felt loved and popular and it did wonders for his self-esteem.  Yes, it was
> some work.  But nothing else we could have done for him would have given his
> newly emerging social self the boost that party did.  
> 
> So, before you chuck birthday parties, take a look at the needs of your child.
> It may be that skipping the birthday party equates with skipping lunch on the
> negligence scale.  

With four daughters and each having tons of toys already, I didn't like
the idea of having four birthday parties each year. So we came up with
the idea of a family theme party where each daughter could invite
4 to 5 friends a piece. Our first was a May Pole party. I planned
different activities for each group and they rotated through them.
Each activity was about 15 minutes in length. There was cookie
decorating, flower planting, and necklace making. I adapted each
project to the age group and only that group did the activity at a
given time. E.g. the youngest group decorated cookies first while
the oldest planted flowers and the middle group made necklaces and
then the groups rotated. My youngest daughter was 1 at the time so
she joined the youngest group of my 3rd daughter's friends. My
youngest daughter did have two friends of her own as well.
Each group had their own pinata. The youngest group went first and
the older ones enjoyed watching them. The whole group then danced
around a may pole.

This party was not someone's birthday so no presents were given.

We also had a Valentines party this year with the girls ranging
in age from 4 to 10 based on a similar idea. 

Both parties went extremely well and all participants still talk
positively about them.

We do hold birthday parties when each daughter reached 8 years old.
So I've got another one coming up this year. Again these parties
are at our house and involve games in such. My oldest daughter's
birthday is near Halloween so her party was centered around a
Haunted House we built in our basement. My younger daughters were
part of the haunted house.
It also went well.

Just my 2 cents.
Anne Mellen
Newsgroups: misc.kids