HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: Eeek! It's a rat tart!
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 06:55:44 GMT

>>What's all this then?
>>
>>It's Ratboy! Am I back? I believe I am...
>I believe not!  How dare you be back when we were having
>so much fun in your absence. BEGONE with you.
>Depart thyself to the land of the red-
>headed Peg monsters, so I can watch my TV
>in peace.

Turn that television off! You know it's bad for your eyes!

>>And now for something not too different but I've been gone a while and it's a
>>little different to me, you see..
>>
>>Ratboy aka Bally Jerry ...banged my kite right in the how's-your-father...
>Dave smurf He's much better, now that the operation's over
Grouchy Smurf "I hate operations!" aka Ratboy
From: Ken Shabby
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: parrot sketch
Date: 29 Sep 92 16:31:58 GMT
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: interceptor.ksu.ksu.edu


<A lot of useless non-funny garbage removed and put in Mrs. Ratbag's home.>
>>->> 
>>->> ->
>>->> 
>>->> Well that was a lot..............
>>->> 
>>->> Pag aka this is an ex-parrot
>>->
>>->Does it talk?
>>->Andrew aka obviously not!
>>Pag aka no but the slug does..
>Gun aka HEY.....This parrot's dead!
'ello Guv'na, I'd like to <HACK, WHEEZE, CHOKE, SPIT> clean out ya lavatr'y. Nice
daughter Guv. <HACK, WHEEZE, CHOKE, GOB, SPIT>


Sir Aurthur Brigidier Smith Smith Smith Smith Smith, Mrs.
Royal Tartan Interior Decorating Brigade
"That Mr. Shabby sends chills up my spine! 8^) "
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jsarna@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: Get the comfy chair !
Organization: Clark University
Date: 6 OCT 92 00:45:53 GMT

In a forthcoming article, goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet summarizes Proust:
>In article <3OCT92.21402079@vax.clarku.edu>, jsarna@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>> In a previous article, jwlr@escher.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) 
>> foams at the mouth and falls over backwards:
>>>>> **********************************************************************
>>>>>* The views expressed in this article do not reflect the views of any  *
>>>>>* organisation or person except my own.                                *
>>>>>*                                                                      *
>>>>>* "Did I ask too much, more than a lot?,                               *
>>>>>* You gave me nothing, now that's all that I've got"  U2               *
>>>>> **********************************************************************
>>> 
>>>>Hmmm. The U2 quote seems rather relevent to this posting, I believe.
>>> 
>>>>Ratboy aka has nothing to say.
>>>James <=== same here
>> Well, if you held these views up to a mirror, they'd certainly reflect then,
>> wouldn't they?  HA!!  You never thought of that, did you?  Well, You'd better
>> think more carefully the next time you write one of those poxy disclaimers, 
>> eh?
>> 
>> 					peace,
>> 					Fievel
>WEll now. Rat-bashing are we? What if I claimed to be ineligible to
>claim the disclaimer that was claimed before I started to claim
>disclaimers? What if I made sense every once in a while....
>		Love and all that for those who need it....
>			Gina
>> 
Pardon me, but it's my God-given right to bash rats if I want to!  
BTW, according to my records, your policy states that no claim you ever
make will be paid.
				piece,
				Fievel
From: jcb7@po.CWRU.Edu (Jeremy C. Bargen)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: new topic
Date: 6 Oct 1992 14:30:40 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: jcb7@po.CWRU.Edu (Vermin D. Pestilent)
NNTP-Posting-Host: thor.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) says:

>Vote for your favorite a.f.m.per here.
>
>Vote for your top 3 fav's and I will tabulate
>the winner in one week......
>
>Just something to still the boredom....
>
>Jester aka vote for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So...we're to vote for our five favorite a.f.m.p'ers, are we?

Well, I'm casting a vote for Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Newsgroup.

Vermin ralph Head Surgeon for the Hospital for Pretty Young Ladies Who
Don't Have Anything In Particular Wrong With Them
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: djoiner@lonestar.utsa.edu (David A. Joiner)
Subject: Re: Compliant
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 21:21:59 GMT

In article <1992Sep30.201148.11853@galileo.cc.rochester.edu> jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) writes:
>>>>>>>>>->I wish to register a complaint !
>>>>>>>>>Ermmm.... Hello Miss......
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I'm sorry, I have a cold...
>>You think this is cold, Matey? Why, when I was young...
>You were lucky!! In my day we didn't have Temperatures.
>We had to go put our tongues against the lampposts to see
>if they would stick!
All I wanted for Christmas was the red rider 400 air rifle
>>>>>>>>>>->Kezzle.
>>>>>>>>>Pag aka not a dead parrot called Lisa, Erik or anything else for that
>>>>>>>>>        matter..
>>>>>>>>Lisa aka I'm not a parrot..I'm a 'alibit
>>>>>>>>Chris aka You're not fooling anyone, you know.
>>>>>>Ratboy aka But I *am* a newt!
>>>>>Lisa aka welcome back, oh Rat god that you be :)
>>>>Ratboy aka Oh how I love me fans...:)  Missed you the most Lisa...
>>>>   WORSHIP ME!!!! (sorry, Jes...no diety infringement intended...)
>>>>Chris aka You're in for it now!  Back away, everyone.  Don't want to be hit
>>>by the lightning, you know!
>>Ratboy aka Ahhhh....lightning shmightning...I ain't afraid o' no stinking
>>  lightning...
>ZZZZAP! Instant Ratboy steaks (well-done)!
>James octopud Lightning!
Don't you know aggies don't make good steak?
Dave smurf time to go drink a shiner
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: 00124961@ysub.ysu.edu
Subject: Re: St. Jester
Organization: Youngstown State University
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 11:26:48 GMT

In article <Bv56st.KIn@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>
jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
 
>
>sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney) writes:
>}>}>}>>p.s.  I have never kissed the editor of alt.fan.monty-python
>}>}>}>Silly person.  There *is* no editor of alt.fan.monty.python!  Unless you
>}>}>}>count Jester, of course...
>}>}>}I object!  Jester is certainly not the editor!  There *is* no editor,
>}>}>}oh misguided one.  Jester is our patron saint.
>}>}>well. then..i proclaim today September 23, St. Jester's day.
>}>}>you now must all go out and give gag gifts to strange people
>}>}>on the street......
>}>}How about if I just gag people and strangle gifts?
>}>that would look bad towards the general populace and
>}>give me a bad name..so don't!!!
>}Well I could just give you this balm. <chomp> <chomp> <chomp>
>
>well sh*t simon..get nasty and bloodthirsty on me....
>
>}>}>}.Chris squig All well and good. . .
>}>}>}Dan squig Lets build him cathedral!  I'll post the plans if there is intres
>}>}>St. Jester squig look...I'd like to approve these b4 you post them....
>}>}Jamesa <=== Oh, so you *do* want to be the editor, then??
>}>Editor Jester squig yes...now lets see, what i can fix in this post.
>}Um... James?
>
>I fixed the post so well,  that I deleted poor james....
>Chris aka OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoh cheeky devil!!!
<deep, meaningful, thought-provoking penmanship fed to my battery llama>
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: St. Jester
Date: 5 Oct 92 18:27:10 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center

t-22@King_Arthur.Camelot.Uk (Editor of Alt.Fan.Monty_Python) writes:
}>>>>>>>>>}>}>}>>p.s.  I have never kissed the editor of alt.fan.monty-python
}>>>>>>>>>}>}>}>Silly person. There *is* no editor of alt.fan.monty.python!  Unless
}>>>>>>>>>}>}>}>count Jester, of course...
}>>>>>>>>>}>}>}I object! Jester is certainly not the editor!  There *is* no editor,
}>>>>>>>>>}>}>}oh misguided one.  Jester is our patron saint.
}>>>>>>>>>}>}>well. then..i proclaim today September 23, St. Jester's day.
}Silly nates, I am the Editor of Alt.Fan.Monty-Python! 
}What? I am so, just looke at me name!

so..i can do thatif i want......

}How dare you ingrats smatter my imaage by saying I ain't so.
}Imageen, if I went around denying *your* existiance, yooooo wouldn't like
}it very mucz, now would you?

look bub..when you say you have postsed here 100 consecutive times...
posted at least 1000 articles..and been here a year..then we can talk.

Jester aka thats showing him
-- 
I am the chill that runs down your spine.
I am the surprise in your cereal box.
I am the hair on the lens of your projector.
I am the metal key on the sardine can of justice.
From: lawrence@ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: What I think ...
Date: 2 Oct 92 17:34:26 GMT
Reply-To: lawrence@olympus.ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of
being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this country with
being sick and tired. I am certainly not. But I'm sick and tired of
being told that I am.

Furthermore, I'm convinced that the majority of wrong-thinking people
in this country are right (but without so much rat in it -- you can tell
by the tattoo on the back of their necks).

Call the Church Police: What's all this then, Amen?

But he's still unable to lead a normal life. He still has to wash himself
in a rather special way. He can only eat buns and he isnt allowed on
public transport.

Though tonight is the night I shall be talking about a flew, the subject of 
word association football. This is a technique out of living much used in
the practice makes perfect of psychoanalysister and brother. And one that
occupied piper the majority rule at my attention squad by the right number
one two three for the last five years to the memory.
It is quite remarkable baker charlie how much the miller's son this so-
called while you were out word association immigrant's problems influences
the manner from heaven in which we sleak in car emtimerus beasties All-
Americans speak, the famous explorer.
And the really well that is surprising partner in crime is that a Lot and
his wife at the lion's feeding time, we may be C, D, E effectively quite 
unaware of the fact or fiction section of the Watford Public Library
that we are even doing it is a far far better thing I do now then now then
what's going on with Christian Barnard the famous hearty part of the lettuce
now pray's famous mental homes for loonies like me.
And so on the button, my contention causing all the headaches is that
unless we take into account of Monte Christo in our thinking George
the fifth this phenomenon the other hand, we shall not be able satisfact
or fiction section of the Watford Public Library at Gallilee to understand
at attention when I'm talking to you and stop laughing about human nature
man's psychological make up some story the wife will believe, and hence,
the very meaning of life itselfish bastard I'll kick him in the Balls
Pond Road.

Still and all, it is hot enough to boil a monkey's bum.


But that is entirely a matter for you.


					Not a Bruce,
					(oh Lord we beseech thee)
					You Palmy Bastard,
					in charge of the sheepdip.

P.S. Howls of derisive laughter, and I am not a pufter!
From: harderaf@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: blood,devestation,death,war&horror
Date: 30 Sep 92 23:37:38 -0600
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

In article <1992Sep27.160743.19969@aber.ac.uk>, aep@aber.ac.uk (Andrew Pagett) writes:
> 
> 	In article <gunnarh.143.717601585@dhhalden.no> 
> 	gunnarh@dhhalden.no (GUNNAR HORRIGMO) did say :
> 
> ->In article <20SEP92.18332242@vax.clarku.edu> jsarna@vax.clarku.edu writes:
> ->>From: jsarna@vax.clarku.edu
> ->>Subject: blood,devestation,death,war&horror
> ->>Date: 20 Sep 92 18:33:22 GMT
> ->>
> ->>                THIS IS MY ONLY LINE.
> ->>
> ->>
> ->>                           /--> lemon curry,
> ->>                          |---> Fievel (aka)
> ->                           | 
> ->                      WHAT ARE THESE THEN??????
> ->                      EITHER YOU CAN'T COUNT, OR YOU ARE VERY SILLY.
> Well which do you think ???
> ->
> ->-Gunnar aka There where 3 
> 
> Pag aka well I can not count how abouwt u ????


Dear Mr. Richard Head:

Did you know that Monty Python was last broadcast on BBC-TV in 1975??  I guess
that since it's now 1992 this makes you a bit past your sell-by date?  

Cheers and love,

Ali Spaerk







Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: and now these massages
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 00:55:11 GMT

>}>}>no, please no....i itch all over right now..please now
>}>}><we interrupt for these unimportant messages}
>}>}>jester really liks to itch so please make him suffer in glee.
>}>}We interrupt   ^^^^
>}>}this
>}>}interuption
>}>}to ask the
>}>}burning
>}>}question:
>}>}Could this be a Froodian slip?
>}>}We Now return you to our regular interruption.
>}>yes....it was..so sue me..i kant spel.....
>}Right! I'm calling my lawyer! 
>whats his name??? and does he like men?

Of course not! He likes goats.

>}>}>quit making fun of me, please guys.
>}>}Make fun of you? Never. Your .sig? Sure, why knot?
>}>ooo.....you make me so mad..of course you know that
>}>this means war....
>}Oooooh! We're gonna have another WAR!!
>yep...and this time....no guns allowed..only
>waterbaloons..

Does that include my bazooka too? It looks like a waterbaloon from a distance.

>}>}>}Maje S aka Pallindromes 'R Us
>}>}>jester squig that it..quit using aka's or i'll have to kill you.
>}>}Same J aka Come over here and say that, big boy!
>}>Jester squig okkay..but where are you anyways?
>}Mesaj <=== I am in Hell, soldier boy!!
>Jester squig but I'm not in the army.....
Ratboy squid That's no excuse! Now, Private! Kill that buffalo!

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: Complaint
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 23:58:10 GMT

>>>->I wish to register a complaint !
>>>Ermmm.... Hello Miss......

I'm sorry, I have a cold...

>>>->Kezzle.
>>>Pag aka not a dead parrot called Lisa, Erik or anything else for that
>>>        matter..
>>Lisa aka I'm not a parrot..I'm a 'alibit
>>Chris aka You're not fooling anyone, you know.

Ratboy aka But I *am* a newt!

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: Naughty Language
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 06:58:28 GMT

>>>Semprini.
>> Meetch aka Ooooooooohhhh!  Erm.. GRUNTIES!
>Andrew aka Wankel rotary engine!
Ratboy aka Naughty Humphrey mailbox! 

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage)
Subject: Re: blow on the 'ead.
Organization: Monash University General Access Unix
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 01:34:10 GMT

s342063@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au wrote:
: - I'm offering you a dagger up the clitoris...
: 
: - oooooooo, I haven't had one up there before.....no, I'll have the blow on the
:   head.
: 
: Now, Mrs. Scum.......for the blow on the head..............
: 
: Kezzle.

OFFICE OF THE CORONER					TOP SECRET
Name: Kezzle
Cause of Death: Dagger up the clitoris.


Go away and write something silly for Ferago.

David aka Bruce.
From: Ian.Holland@mailbox.bison.mb.ca (Ian Holland)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Creosote Explodes (meaning of life?)
Date: 5 Oct 92 10:14:29 GMT

Organization: NMPD Telecom
Reply-To: ianh@nmpd.oz.au

mech413@csc.canterbury.ac.nz writes:

>Greetings,

>This post is on behalf of someone without posting rights so please 
>forward all replys to:  =>  Gavin Griffith-Jones
>                        =>  MECH145@csc.canterbury.ac.nz
>===================================================================

>I have had an argument ( followed by bet ) as to what the last thing Mr
>Creosote ate (meaning of life ?) that caused him to explode.  Was it :\
>(A)  A mint?
>(B)  (I hope) a wafer?

a (B) thin (A)...

ie  A wafer thin mint (with an outrageous French accent).
--

Ian Holland                              Explicit hoc totum,
Telecom Australia                     Pro Christo da mihi potum!
ianh@nmpd.oz.au

 * Origin: The Electronic Mailbox (1:348/7.0)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa M. Stanar)
Subject: Re: Complaint
Reply-To: af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa M. Stanar)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 00:32:53 GMT


In a previous article, mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver) says:

>>>>->I wish to register a complaint !
>>>>Ermmm.... Hello Miss......
>
>I'm sorry, I have a cold...
>
>>>>->Kezzle.
>>>>Pag aka not a dead parrot called Lisa, Erik or anything else for that
>>>>        matter..
>>>Lisa aka I'm not a parrot..I'm a 'alibit
>>>Chris aka You're not fooling anyone, you know.
>Ratboy aka But I *am* a newt!
Lisa aka welcome back, oh Rat god that you be :)

-- 


      "And now it's burning..............just ignore it."
From: lawrence@ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Indian massacres
Date: 29 Sep 92 20:36:49 GMT
Reply-To: lawrence@olympus.ctron.com (Gary St. Lawrence)
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

Oh my God! There's been another indian massacre at Dorking Civic Theatre.
About time too!

(We wish to assure our patrons that those who were left alive at the end
got their money back. Thank you, Dorking Civic Theatre Management.)

REMINDER:
Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall,
and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the
address to write to:
		Mrs. Edna Frog
		8 Masonic Apron Street
		Cowdenbeath
Remember, policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take 
advantage of our free officer! 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
Now, I did ask you *not* to say mattress, now didn't I?!? Now I have
to stand in the tea chest ..... "And did those feet, in ancient
times ...."

This is zany, madcap humor?

By the way, Eric? I'm done cutting ... cutting ... CUTTING ...
cutting your hair. Auugh, blood, murder, veins, blood, Hitchcock!

Love me. I'm a free mason, you know.

				Mr. Keith Maniac
				Guatemala.
From: KENNETH.CHESTNUTT@mailbox.bison.mb.ca (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: different
Date: 24 Sep 92 21:57:38 CST

Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)


And now, for something completly different.  A man with a tape recorder up
his nose.


	PS
Is this really different?

 * Origin: The Electronic Mailbox (1:348/7.0)

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa M. Stanar)
Subject: Re: parrot sketch
Reply-To: af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa)
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 20:25:28 GMT


In a previous article, aep@aber.ac.uk (Andrew Pagett) says:

>
>	In article <1992Sep29.231329.20035@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> 
>	djoiner@lonestar.utsa.edu (David A. Joiner) did say :
>
>->
>->>->>->> Pag aka this is an ex-parrot
> I never used smurf no no no no no no
>->>->>->Does it talk?
>->>->>->Andrew aka obviously not!
>->>->>Pag aka no but the slug does..
>->>->Lisa aka I'd like to buy a license for Eric, my pet slug.....
>->>Pag aka that'll be 74 pounds please. Otherwise we send round the slug
>->>        detector van.
>->dave aka Just try it you feind!  See if you get past the
>->salt lick.  Oh my, there goes Eric.
>->Never Mind.
>Pag aka I hate smurfs....eps. on toast
Lisa aka Smurf this!!!

-- 
"Trust me....I know what I'm doing."
                             Jesus Jones
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: and now these massages
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:52:49 GMT

>}>}>}>no, please no....i itch all over right now..please now
>}>}>}><we interrupt for these unimportant messages}
>}>}>}>jester really liks to itch so please make him suffer in glee.
>}>}>}We interrupt   ^^^^
>}>}>}this
>}>}>}interuption
>}>}>}to ask the
>}>}>}burning
>}>}>}question:
>}>}>}Could this be a Froodian slip?
>}>}>}We Now return you to our regular interruption.
>}>}>yes....it was..so sue me..i kant spel.....
>}>}Right! I'm calling my lawyer! 
>}>whats his name??? and does he like men?
>}Of course not! He likes goats.
>shaved or unshaved????? with or without horns
He likes unshaved real raw dead goat...gotta escape prosecution...

>}>}>}>quit making fun of me, please guys.
>}>}>}Make fun of you? Never. Your .sig? Sure, why knot?
>}>}>ooo.....you make me so mad..of course you know that
>}>}>this means war....
>}>}Oooooh! We're gonna have another WAR!!
>}>yep...and this time....no guns allowed..only
>}>waterbaloons..
>}Does that include my bazooka too? It looks like a waterbaloon from a distance.
>well..i guess...but don't point that thing at me.
Hey! It has a mind of its own...

>}>}>}>}Maje S aka Pallindromes 'R Us
>}>}>}>jester squig that it..quit using aka's or i'll have to kill you.
>}>}>}Same J aka Come over here and say that, big boy!
>}>}>Jester squig okkay..but where are you anyways?
>}>}Mesaj <=== I am in Hell, soldier boy!!
>}>Jester squig but I'm not in the army.....
>}Ratboy squid That's no excuse! Now, Private! Kill that buffalo!
>Jester squig Just say no!!!!
Ratboy aka do I have to?
From: goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Hello?????
Date: 6 Oct 92 12:32:44 CDT
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

In article <1992Oct5.204122.3872@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>, jwlr@monet.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) writes:
> goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet interjects:
>>In article <1992Oct5.095553.90271@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au>, che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au writes:
>>> Hey Ratboy, where are you?
> 
>>I'm not Ratboy, but would I do in a bind?  
>>-------Gina 
> 
> That depends on where you'd like to be bound, I suppose...

Anywhere's fine, as long as I can still use my hands. 

> James octopud I know 'e's around 'ere somewhere, I almost stepped on 'im.