HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: schweppe@acs.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: an idle observation
Date: 12 Jan 93 17:28:53 GMT
Organization: Boston University, Boston, MA, USA

Castellan quits kibitzing:

>In article <1993Jan11.070918.24529@eskimo.com> 
>jammer@eskimo.com (Lyle Harwood) writes:

[ First round of bridge-mix bidding deleted ]

>>At the premption, Jammer raises an eyebrow, while Warrior growls
>>softly.
>>Jammer looks around, and asks
>>"Merlinvin, have you gone mad? Are you ready for the rubber room?"
>
>"I think he's positively whistful for it", observes Castellan.

"Well, I've sort of gone set in my ways, and I've noticed that this
thread keeps on going down...  Perhaps I should just dummy up for
a while."

"Some of these puns are pretty esoteric to non-bridge players; they
certainly aren't the paronomasia conventional here in the Place.
I don't want them going over-call-ahanian's heads."

__________________________________________________________________________
Ed Schweppe o/k/a Merlinvin - schweppe@acs.bu.edu,
    (or for faster replies)   eschweppe%drcoa1.decnet@drcvax.af.mil
All standard disclaimers (also datclaimers and deotherclaimers) apply.
From: olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Charles Olson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: An Introduction - T-Bear delurks!
Date: 13 Jan 93 04:43:36 GMT
Organization: Harvard Arts and Sciences Computer Services, Cambridge, MA
In-reply-to: dspeck@ee.ryerson.ca's message of 12 Jan 93 21:19:01 GMT

In article <1993Jan12.211901.14236@ee.ryerson.ca> dspeck@ee.ryerson.ca (DOUGLAS SPECK) writes:

>   "Greetings! My name is Theodore E. Bear, generally shortened to T-Bear.

A more or less normal looking human type chucks his glass into the fireplace.
"Welcome to Callahan's, T-Bear... I'm Castellan.  What do you drink?  I ask
because a) I'm about to buy you one, and b) eventually you might want to put
your name, birthday and fave quaff on the bulletin board (and email a copy
to Nick Chopper, whose email address I temporarily forget)."


--
-Chip Olson. | olson@husc.harvard.edu | ceo@{gnu.ai,silver.lcs}.mit.edu
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
Maybe we would if they screamed all the time for no good reason." -J. Handey
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Definition of "monogamy"?
Date: 7 Jan 1993 00:13:20 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk (Alan Ralph) writes:

>"Ok, you asked for it!"

>MonTemplar promptly splashes Splash with the remains of the drink!

>"Oi!" shouts Splash!

"Glub!" says Splash.  "Aahh, that feels great!  It's 36 degrees here
today, with 39 forecast for tomorrow (oh yeah, that's Celcius ... ummmm,
just over a century Fahrenheit)."  So saying, he grabs a jug of iced water
and douses MonTemplar with it.


--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk (Alan Ralph)
Subject: Re: No subject
Reply-To: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Distribution: world
X-Mailer: cppnews $Revision: 1.30 $
Organization: Chez MonTemplar, Redunser
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 23:06:34 +0000

In article <memo.848085@cix.compulink.co.uk> maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk writes:
>In-Reply-To: <1ig2ldINN2kj@escargot.xx.rmit.OZ.AU> s892057@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU (Neale Wolfson)
>
>Hello Wolf!
>Mary MerryTail waves from the middle of the toika
>But if *I can dance in here (and hit teh fireplace when I toast and 
>throw snowballs in teh right direction...) so can you! Oh MonTemplar? 
>Could those nice big crab pincers bring the Wolf over here to join 
>teh dance?

"I'll do better than that" replies MonTemplar. With a single deft movement,
picks up the entire dancefloor and puts it down next to the Wolf (whoa!)
--
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Alan Ralph, 98 Gammons Lane, Watford, Herts. WD2 5HY   Tel. (0923) 230097 |
| Internet: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk    CIX: aralph   CI$: 100025,1551 |
|  Alias: Kimberley MonTemplar Esq., sometime regular in alt.callahans :-)  |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Brought to you c/o Demon Internet Services - FULL access to the Internet  |
| for just UKP 10 + VAT a month. Email internet@demon.co.uk for more info.  |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| *********** My .sig , my site, my opinions. So now you know. ************ |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: A late NY Pizza Party arrival
Date: 7 Jan 1993 00:47:15 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

A vaguely familiar shape splashes into the Place (a neat transition
between the aerial world outside and the watery habitat indoors ... sort
of like a backward roll off a boat, but done vertically) and swims up to
the bar.  The male figure is wearing a set of aqua-blue Speedos with small
coloured patterns on them (I don't know the equivalent in other countries -
sorry ... they're the usual swimming costume worn by competition swimmers,
and simply known by the brand-name here in Oz.), cobalt-blue diving fins
and matching mask and snorkel; covering his chest is an old yellow
"horse-collar" buoyancy jacket and on his back is strapped an old steel diving
tank, with an old regulator attached.  On his left hand side is his set of 
combination gauges, looking incongruously modern.  

"Yeah - underwater pizza party!  _Now_ I'm in my element.  How about a
glass of rough red (traditional field-camp drink), Mike?" the figure
bubbles at the be-Neptuned bartender, while dropping a dollar coin onto
the bar (it sort of slowly floats down, sliding from side to side, like a
falling leaf).  Mike peers through the dive mask and recognises Splash
from Western Australia; "Long time no see Splash.  You're late."  "Yeah, I
know ... the real-world (TM) Christmas and New Year sort of got in the way
of net access.  Had a great time with the family and all, especially my
brother coming over from Brisbane;  I'm back now though."  "Aren't you
freezing without a wet suit?" asks Mike curiously.  "Are you kidding?"
replies Splash, "It's 39 degrees Celcius here (over 100 F) ... have you
ever sweated in a wet suit?  It _can_ be done!"  Mike hands Splash his
drink.  "Aah, thanks."

He receives a mug with a lid on it (traditional field-camp drinking
equipment), and swims towards the dome surrounding the VPM and associated
eating area.  Entering the bubble Splash takes off his mask, slips the
strap over his left arm and asks the VPM for a family sized vegetarian
pizza with everything.  The machine makes some joyous humming noises and
happily produces the requested culinary delight (can you tell I've just
read "Mostly Harmless" by Douglas Adams?  It has a deliriously happy robot
in it - no, _not_ Marvin  :-)  ).

Taking his super-sized pizza and mug of wine to a table, Splash pulls up a
chair without a back on it - ideal for kitted out SCUBA divers, and
devours the pizza.  "Mmmmmm ... I haven't had a pizza in ages ... yum!" 
Then standing up again he knocks back his mug of wine and proclaims "Happy
New Year everybody!"

<CRASH!>  (How _does_ the fireplace work in all this wet?)

"Sorry I'm late ... I'm still trying to catch up ... only about 70
articles to go.  BTW, great party DM, err, DS."

Splash!


--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: brumby@nella7.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara)
Subject: Re: New Year Pizza Party
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 04:33:41 GMT

   The brumby hasn't had a chance to join in the festivities as yet.
However...

JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jason & Thyra) writes:
>In article <1993Jan4.204321.29551@crc.ricoh.com>, rowanf@crc.ricoh.com
>(Rowan Fairgrove) wrote:
>> and the Founder of the Feast -- the Octomouse 
>          ^^^^^^^
><Grin> shouldn't that be 'flounder'? No squidding, it's a great party DM.

   "What, fishing for compliments? I should salmon up some peanuts to
fin-ish you off!"

   The brumby realises that everyone except himself is in costume.
   "Does anyone think they can help me here? Being somewhat challenged in
the area of hands or similar appendages, I don't think I can manage a
costume on my own. Anyone have any ideas on making the brumby into a
sea-horse?"


>Hugs and purrs,
>Thyra and Jason

Nuzzles and snorts, :-)
Brumby

-- 
     The Silver Brumby of          brumby@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
      the Silicon Plains            brumby@zikzak.apana.org.au

      The grass is always greener on the other side of the network.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: boo
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 12:56:16 GMT

>A faint feeling of pressure on the ears signals the opening of the door to the
>roof.  Starknight walks down the iron staircase, in time to hear...

[snip snip]

>"I'd screw up my courage, Brumby, if I wire you.  You may get us all hooked on
>hardware puns, and we'll have to bracket you into a corner.  Does anybody else
>care to try to hit the nail on the head?"
>
>(Ouch, that hurt *my* sensibilities...)

  "Well, if you are that hurt, I used to be a Cub Scout on Asteroid Ceres and 
I know alot about bandages..." Robbie.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
          'Rush Limbaugh is the 'Chia Pet' of TV talk shows !'
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jason & Thyra)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Look, ma!  Portholes!
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Date: 4 Jan 1993 22:36:55 GMT
Organization: the Polyhedron Group
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: aaa.uoregon.edu

In article <9301042006.AA03178@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca>,
braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite) wrote:
> "Hi, Everyone!  I'm back!"  she calls out happily.  "I could sure use
> a nice cold 'n' tart lemonade, Mike!"

Thyra and Jason swim over to the recently imperiled Didi-Sprite, and engulf
her in a wet but -very- friendly hug! "Didi! So good to have you back!"
says Jason. Thyra purrs "Oh yes! You had us worried, dear Sprite. I'm -so-
glad you're doing better!"

> And, Thyra and Jason!  I have saved your N.Y.E's description
> for reading later.  Sounds wonderful.  

Jason: "It was a fun party, even if the live Internet connection didn't pan
out very well. Hope everyone enjoys the post about Caithelin's party. I
tried as much as I could to make it something that you -all- could
experience."

"Mike! I'll buy her next lemonade! Didi, welcome home!"

Hugs and Purrs,
Jason & Thyra
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Undeliverable mail..
Date: 9 Jan 1993 06:16:58 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au


Splash confirms Tanais' observations ... "And ditto for the looks of
disappointment  :-)  I had assumed that the bounce messages were a new
variationon the theme which has been bugging our newserver lately - I have
mail replies to posts bouncing back, although they still get through.  I
don't know enough about all this stuff to complain, but thanks for the info."

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: 1993
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 20:26:19 GMT

mary-wat writes:
>"You think Houston has a problem with snow? Every other year snow 
>shuts this country down - they use helicopters to airlift food to 
>remote villages - that's a really bad winter. But the *really funny 
>thing is the trains. They must know that it snows here every so 
>often... but they still build new trains that don't seem to know 
>about snow - with one design the doors froze open! And they say it's 
>the "wrong kind of snow"! Similarly, in autumn, unseasonal events 
>occurr - the leaves drop of the trees onto the tracks... and the 
>trains can't run! Sheesh! Now they're saying they will have sold off 
>the rail network to private industry by this time next year. Ignatz, 
>I think you've got the right idea - let's stick to steam!

    <chuckle> Mary, Texas south of Dallas, and most of the southern
   United States, never sees snow of any depth for decades at a time.
   A few years ago, we got about 3 inches of snow here in Mississippi.
   Everyone panicked, they couldn't handle it ! Cars drove off into
   ditches, the local emergency people activated... If it gets below
   20 F here, chaos results. { Thats +20F }. Many older houses here
   were built with exposed water pipes... The last time it got into
   single digit temperature readings here, pipes froze so hard that
   when it did warm back up, water flowed like rivers from burst
   water pipes... all along the Gulf Coast. New Orlaens, Lousiana
   was also hard hit. One of the parishes over there had to cut the
   water stations off, as they were only getting unusable pressure
   on the water lines. If a fire had broken out, the fire trucks
   wouldn't have had enough water pressure to put it out ! But I
   do understand what you go through. I have lived in Maryland,
   about 3 miles from a snow emergency route, had to wait a week
   before they dug our street out of the snow... { I'm rambling,
   I must be worried about Didi ! } Sorry for the rambling...
      Jim.

>"Too much seriousness! More dancing! C'mon Bi-Bulb" and MerryTail 
>grabs him by the hand and whirls him away in dance.

    "Yes, I would like a dance partner also ..." DJ.

>Mary MerryTail... by the way - who was collecting those recipes? Is 
>the cookbook still on the boil?

    "Danger Mouse is doing the cookbook/recipe gathering... " Linda.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
          'Rush Limbaugh is the 'Chia Pet' of TV talk shows !'
From: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Bouncing confusion
Date: 8 Jan 93 14:56:55 GMT
Reply-To: pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan)
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation


In article <FZg2wB2w165w@cybernet.cse.fau.edu>, ekho@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (amanda rothman) writes:
|>
|>  Amanda seems perplexed, "Hey, has anyone been getting their posts 
|>returned as bounced mail?  The past two days, they've been posted, but I 
|>get a copy that says it's "Undeliverable" due to the fact that "ipsaint" 
|>doesn't recognize "dgil".  It also says that the messge is 
|>"Apparently-To: dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.com".  Does anyone know why?"  
|>She then wanders off in a state of confusion, collecting a Coke and Cream 
|>before rejoining Ekho who is muttering something about "primitive 
|>bug-ridden computers"...
|>
|>            Yours in Time and Space
|>

Starknight speaks up.  "Yes, I received two messages to that effect this
morning when I logged on.  It's been affecting everybody, I guess...  Take
a look at the Undeliverable Mail posts.  I have no clue why; I'm new to
Usenet."

He wanders off, muttering something about "I sure hope I'm getting through..."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: xrjdm@twinpeaks.gsfc.nasa.gov (Joseph D. McMahon)
Subject: Re: Snowball
Organization: NASA/GSFC NCCS
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 15:50:27 GMT
Reply-To: xrjdm@calvin.gsfc.nasa.gov 
X-Posted-From: twinpeaks.gsfc.nasa.gov
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

In article <1993Jan4.200924.29301@crc.ricoh.com>, rowanf@crc.ricoh.com (Rowan Fairgrove) writes:
> 
> Gypsy looks up at her friend's voice, but when she understands
> the request she shudders. <There are a lot of things that I am
> willing to try in VR that I don't in RL, but the idea of voluntarily
> going out into the snow is *not* among them!>
> 
> <I'll keep the kettle on so that those who want a cuppa when
> they come in, are welcome to come join me.  I'll whip up some
> hot treats as well.>
> 
Kandy returns through the door, shakes herself (quite an operation, that),
and scoots over to Rowan's warm corner, where she flops down and sighs
comfortably.
-- 
                  Joe McMahon | 
                  P.O. Box 13 | Self-confidence: moving a piano 
            Lothian, MD 20711 | in a Toyota Tercel hatchback.
xrjdm@twinpeaks.gsfc.nasa.gov |
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Last one into the pool ...
Date: 11 Jan 1993 04:01:03 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon) writes:

>Thyra says :
>>She takes his hand "Ok my drifty friend, drift over to the dance floor with
>>me!" She leads him into a swing number, but takes advantage of the watery
>>environment to do several moves that are impossible on land. "Wheee!" she
>>says as she sails over his head, behind his back, and back up to the front
>>between his legs, all the while staying in touch with at least one hand. 

>There is NO move that is impossible on land. Remember : flying is possible.
>It's just a matter of attitude, not altitude!

I'm sure Linda would have something to add to that ... how about a dance,
Linda?

Splash!

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
From: feath@agora.rain.com (Feather)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Recharge! (was Re: Bi-bulb (was Re: Dalek has entered the building
Date: 7 Jan 93 18:14:35 GMT
Organization: Open Communications Forum

In article <106268@bu.edu> schweppe@acs.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe) writes:
>kitten writes:
>
>[various electrical puns unplugged]
>
>>"i am shocked that you are starting a thread like this...."  kitten
>>doesn't pun...she is too busy wenching water....
>
>Merlinvin _was_ going to stay out of this, until kitten "doesn't pun"...
>
>"kitten, we all know you are a cute and adorable wench, and we don't want
>you to get hurt.  Playing with water and electricity at the same time is
>likely to get you electro-cute-d!"
>
Feather chirps in:
"Either that or she'd turn into an electric eel!"
From: narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Hullo...
Date: 6 Jan 1993 00:45:58 GMT
Organization: UH Dept of Math
NNTP-Posting-Host: casc.math.uh.edu

In article <C0Envq.GzM@news.cso.uiuc.edu> trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski) writes:

{Discussion of rescue of particulars omitted}

>"the thing was...he didn't really finish _i will fear no evil_, as he
>was busy not dying at the time (peritonitis, etc.)  virginia did the
>final edit."  kitten is in the minority of folks who like IWFNE.

Whadda ya mean "minority of people who like IWFNE"? Just about everyone I know 
loved that book! Mom, Dad, friends, reviews I have seen all think it is one of
his better books! I really got a kick out of it - marvelous character study 
(what else COULD it be?)



--
*******************************************************************           
* Noah Ramon - The Bi-Bulb     * Your only limitation is your own *
* Mail to : narxtc@math.uh.edu * imagination - Beans Barton       *
*******************************************************************
From: siewert@matt.ksu.ksu.edu (Karl Siewert)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Toasting
Date: 10 Jan 1993 23:54:08 -0600
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: matt.ksu.ksu.edu
Summary: A toast by an interested visitor
Keywords: toast

A previously unnoticed door opens cautiously on the far wall, from the smoky,
bright, noisy, and obviously beer-drenched room beyond pads a quiet figure.
The suede-clad gentleman softly clears his throat and introduces himself.

"My name is Rie.  I've been watching you from a nearby multidimensional bar
called the Taiwan On.  If you don't mind, I'd like to make a toast. . .  I've
brought my own glass."

Encouraged by the smiling, warm faces, he timidly steps up to the chalk and re-
cites:

"To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each
and every one of us always give the devil his due."

Blushing slightly, Rie pads to the bar and asks for a Seagram's Red Sangria 
wine cooler.  Have you got any?
From: ice9@hotcity.COM (Jeremy Dragt)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Bi-bulb (was Re: Dalek has entered the building
Date: 10 Jan 93 21:27:36 PST
Organization: BBS

In article <106468@bu.edu>, schweppe@acs.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe) writes:
>Starknight writes:
>
>>(Attributions deleted to please the bandwidth spirits.)
>
>[ so are all the old puns ]
>
>>"Theses puns are true joules.  I'm dyne to jump in on this thread, so here
>>I am faraday.  Let me amp-lifiy my current thoughts:  Never leave a static
>>pun around an electronics technician; he might shock you."
>
>Merlivin, an ex-Navy ET1(SS) himself, is impressed.  "May I have the honor
>of conducting you to the Bad Puns Hall of Fame?"
>
>__________________________________________________________________________
>Ed Schweppe o/k/a Merlinvin - schweppe@acs.bu.edu,
>    (or for faster replies)   eschweppe%drcoa1.decnet@drcvax.af.mil
>All standard disclaimers (also datclaimers and deotherclaimers) apply.
Now now I don't think those charges have sufficient grounds for induction to
such a negative place and beside we've already filled it to capacity
From: schweppe@acs.bu.edu (Edmund Schweppe)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: purple
Date: 12 Jan 93 17:32:25 GMT
Organization: Boston University, Boston, MA, USA

kitten has been having a bad day...

>>>kitten (who never knows when to leave well enough alone) just wanted
>>>to turn her hair a couple of shades darker than strawberry blonde...
>>>
>>>now she looks like an irish setter that has been sprayed with grape
>>>koolaid. 
>>>
>>>sigh.
>>>
>>      Rachel comes over and hugs kitten warmly.

[ various comforting thoughts ]
 
>"thanks....i am starting to get used to it...but why do i feel the
>urge to get a leather skirt and studs...."

Then Jammer sticks an oar in:

>>So fetch me a mocha, wench.
>
>"hey, this new leather skirt came with a whip and studded
>collar...which would look REAL good on a certain jammer i know..."

Suddenly, Merlinvin has a vision.

He imagines Joe College, UIUC freshman extraordinaire, flushed with pride
after having finally finished his first term paper.  Unfortunately, he
forgot to renew one of the references that contributed to his scholastic
success and it is now two days overdue.  Being, after all, a fine and
upstanding young man, he is the first one in line when the library opens,
ready to pay his fine...

Then the librarian comes out from the back room.

Kitten.

The purple haired, leather skirted, studded collared, whip wielding,
electro-cuty, Biker Punk Librarian Wench From Hell.

"This book was due WHEN?"  

And Joe College goes screaming into the back racks...

While Merlinvin dissolves into helpless giggles... and offers kitten a big
hug and earscritch once he recovers.

__________________________________________________________________________
Ed Schweppe o/k/a Merlinvin - schweppe@acs.bu.edu,
    (or for faster replies)   eschweppe%drcoa1.decnet@drcvax.af.mil