From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: BD Hunters
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 19 Nov 1992 21:46:39 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
Distribution: alt
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



Posted for Stephen Jackson (sjackson@parc.xerox.com), who can read
alt.peeves but not post:


----- Begin Forwarded Peeve -----


The fellow who is living our life for us in Oregon called friday
evening in a state of great excitement.  To begin at the beginning,
several days previous he had noticed the 3 year old doe (he has names
for all of them, this one is Bambo, or Rambett or something) had
suffered a wound in the left front leg.  Not having a tranquilizer
gun (it's on the list, believe me) he really couldn't do much about
the situation but watch.  Friday he found the doe dead in the corner
of the east pasture with most of the head eaten away and flies
pretty well infesting the carcass.  Bummer, that doe was slated
for the freezer.

Intuition heightened by this senseless rippoff, Don decided to go
out on patrol as the sun set and the mist decended.  Our boy is
no fool, thus he strapped on the S&W .357 magnum wheel gun and 
wandered east towards the barn and the road.  Wandering through
the horse pasture he noticed a spike and two does hanging out with
the nags.  We have over the past two years accustomed the deer to
our presence so they don't startle unless we get within about
10 feet of them.

As he reached the barn, about 50 feet from the road, he heard a
pickup coming from out of Grassy Knob Wilderness Area.  As the
truck approached the barn it slowed and eventually stopped in
the oncoming traffic lane, next to the barn.  A rifle poked out
the window, taking aim at the deer in the horse pasture with
the convienently provided backstop, our house, providing a safe
resting place for any misaimed shots.

Don drew the .357 and showing great restraint, discharged it into
the ground, spooking the deer.  The bozo in the pickup truck
yelled out "Didja get one!"  Don yelled back, "Oh yea, I sure
did!" and then he proceeded to the pickup truck to get in the 
guy's face for a bit.

He read him the riot act.  The particulars being, this is private
property, it is posted, you are shooting in the direction of our
horses and cattle, you are using our house as a backstop, and
IT AIN'T EVEN FUCKING HUNTING SEASON.  He then wrote down the 
guy's license number and walked back to the house in a state
of extreme agitation.

In fact, he was sooooo pissed off that he called the cops for 
the first time in his life.  We don't have much use for police
but it is considered bad form to shoot poachers and he felt that he
had to do something.  So, he related to them the whole story,
including the fact that the "hunter" was about 3/4 into the
bag and that if they moved quick they could probably pick him
up for DUI as well.  They asked him if he wanted to be 
anonymous, he said "hell no, I'll gladly testify!" and they
all hung up.

As of Monday, no police action on any front.  This is not a high
crime area, folks.

Feeling flush with success, as evening fell and the mist crept
in our boy decided to try again.  Arming himself as before he
decided to take a stroll along the old logging road that cuts
through our property on its way to the river.  Looking up, he
happened to notice a platform built into a tree.  He climbed
up to the platform to see what he could see and lo' and behold,
it gave a grand view of the east pasture safely backstopped by,
you guessed it, our house.

Now you may be asking yourself, why are people shooting at the
direction of the house.  Well, that's where the deer are.  Every
evening, long about sunset they congregate around the house, take
a swipe at the salt lick, and jump into the orchard to see what
has fallen on the ground that they need to eat.  Pretty convenient
if you live in the house.  We don't consider hunting deer a sport,
it's more like harvesting.  It is simply too easy.  If you want
to hunt something hard try feral cats.

To return to our narrative:  After climbing down from the hunting
platform Don heard an ATV coming up the logging road from the
river.  Concealing himself in the brush he awaited developments.
The ATC hove into view, along with the rider and the hunting
rifle balanced across the handlebars.  The assemblage stopped 
at the base of the hunting platform and the human with the 
rifle began to climb when Don revealed himself.

Don asked him what he was doing.  He replied that Coot Wagner had
given him permission to hunt here.  Don retorted that Coot hadn't
owned the property for 2 1/2 years and that he was on Coot's shit
list (for reasons that are another peeve altogether) and that as
far as he was concerned that the feeling was mutual.  Don then
discussed the safety issue, and it was mutually agreed that it 
probably was stupid and inconsiderate to use other people's houses
as safety backstops.

Seeing as how the hunter was not 3/4'ths in the bag and not 
obnoxious and receptive to the safety argument and the son of
an ajoining land owner he was sent on his way with a warning and
no police involvement.

Wonder what's going to happen tonight.

regards,

Stephen Jackson


----- End Forwarded Peeve -----


Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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