HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: FRATBOYZ (Was: A quick biology lesson)
Date: 6 Nov 92 17:42:32 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <Bx96Lr.1K0@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin)
writes:
>Well, I was reading through alt.peeves, trying to get a bit of a grasp of what
>it's all about when I encountered the following:

Good luck, I'm sure that you'll eventually figure things out.  In the
meantime, I suggest you keep quiet, lest somebody notice you and grind
you into an oily spot on the floor.

>In article <Bx8y9x.20p@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu
(Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>>Um, Dac, honey.  My sense of humor actually gets sharper & nastier the
>>worse of a mood I'm in.  
>
>   The only excuse is that Jenny is euphorically happy. First date? Happy
>President "I'm-a-draft-dodging-butt-kissing-prez-who-will-turn-this-country
>upside-down" Clinton was elected? Tying your own shoes now? 
>   In any case, nothing in this whole world is worse than one who judges, yet
>can't meet their own standards...

I just HAD to reply to this.  You see, I'm happy that Clinton won.  Moreover,
I helped him win!  Other people in this newsgroup also helped him win too,
so your whiny political frothings probably won;t go over very well here.

Do we care that Clinton dodged the draft?  If I had been in his shoes, I
think I would've done the same thing.  Personally, I need to hear a real
good reason before I'll travel halfway around the world and kill people
I don't know and "Because we say you have to!" doesn't quite cut it.

Maybe CLinton is going to turn the world upside down; maybe he's coming
at us with charged cardiac paddles.  I still think that beats Bush, who
had a garotte around our collective necks and was slowly choking the life
out of this country.  

Do you have any more sage political comments to offer?

   don
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lottery is just a tax on people who are bad at math.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith)
Subject: Re: Courier eeeeeeediot Peeve
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 22:53:52 GMT

In article <1992Nov8.174314.8707@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>It's cold in Nova Scotia tonight.
>
>I can tell you exactly how cold it is, first hand. See, I don't have a jacket.
[Mucho stuff deleted]

	Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize.  Y'see, Mike can't be a Real
Canadian.  Someone who can stand butt-naked (disgusting thought in my case, 
but I digress) in a howling snowstorm when it's -40 out and laugh.

	Wimp.  ;)

>!Peeve: I love playing the Irate Customer Somebody Has to Placate. Especially
>when I'm justified in doing so.

	And you do it *soooo* well, Mike.  (I've seen him in action.  It really
is quite impressive.)

>Peeve: I still don't have my coat. It'll be a long chilly walk home tonight.

	Ah, wimp.  ;)

	Sean

P.S.:  I suppose that I'll have to change my .sig now that the US election is
       over.  Suggestions, anyone?


-- 
Sean Smith - Dalhousie University               Bill and Opus in '92 in the US!
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada                    Don Cherry for Prime Minister in
01SSMITH@AC.DAL.CA or smith@ug.cs.dal.ca	'93 in Canada!
Disclaimer:  These ideas are mine...ALL MINE!!  'Cause noone else'd want 'em.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: pmmuggli@midway.ecn.uoknor.edu  (pauline muggli)
Subject: Re: Peevetown General Hospital: Take 3
Originator: mdtll@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 01:13:41 GMT
Organization: Engineering Computer Network, Univ. of Oklahoma, Norman, OK, USA

  Blair.Haworth@launchpad.unc.edu (Blair Haworth) writes:
  
>This reminds me of a way-cool medical gizmo they used on my grandmother in
>one of her last hospitalizations (hip replacement, I think).  They'd
>fixed her up with one of the aforementioned plastic stopcock things, and
>into it ran a hose connected to a biggish reservoir of <insert powerful
>synthetic opiate name here> controlled by her own pushbutton, so that she
>could get a quick blast of <powerful synthetic opiate> whenever she felt
>the need; of course, the pushbutton was gimmicked with a timer to keep
>from overdoing things.
 
i had one of these after the removal of my gall bladder.  they say
people actually use less pain medication this way.  i just know i didn't
hurt like the pain shots i had after surgery in 1978.  i remember a couple
of shots in my butt.  here i had an almost 6" incision in my abdomen, and
tried to avoid any unnecessary movement, but with the injection, i quickly
moved to the other side of the bed.

peeve: nurses/doctors who say, "this is going to sting a little bit."

anti-peeve: new surgical techniques.

the total incision length (i had 4 incisions) of my gall bladder
operation was less than my other operation.  and i recovered in about
1/3 the time.

peeve:  almost passing out when i was sitting on the toilet waiting for
the nurse to finish changing the sheets on my bed.

peeve:  i did pass out next to the bed (1978) on the way back from my
first trip to the bathroom after surgery.  i had on one of those lovely
chic backless gowns and immediately came to when my butt made contact
with the cold hospital floor.  a lpn (licensed practical nurse) was
helping me - i guess i fainted too fast for her to catch me.

i also have had a hospital room mate who makes you want to see how fast
pillow suffocations really are.  this older lady had surgery a couple of
days after did.  she moaned for two days.  she also would lie to the
nurse.  after surgery, you are supposed to move around in bed, get up,
walk around, etc.  she would lay in one position, and when the nurse came
in to check and ask her to roll over, she would answer "i just did."  about
the 3rd time this happened, the nurse commented on the fact that she was in
the same position as the last time.  the lady said she rolled over and then
rolled back.

anti-peeve:  electric hospital beds.

pauline

ps.  rick,  hope you're feeling better, hope you survived the hospital,
and hope you survive the bills.

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Re: DED (Was: The wrong retains the blame)
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<ATAYLOR.92Nov3135812@gauss.nmsu.edu> <1992Nov9.124750.465@hhcs.gov.au>
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 22:00:23 GMT

<In article <1992Nov9.124750.465@hhcs.gov.au> makinc@hhcs.gov.au (Carl Makin) writes:
<In article <ATAYLOR.92Nov3135812@gauss.nmsu.edu>, ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:

<> <In article <1992Oct27.140737.433@hhcs.gov.au> makinc@hhcs.gov.au (Carl Makin) writes:

<> <   [*] where the hell does holly come from anyway?

<> 	Interestingly, holly is not native to the British
<> 	Isles; it is a new-world plant. Early Spanish 

<   So what's the attraction about it?


	Well, as one beachbum friend of mine from El Lay
	once explained, "Sheila wouldn't but Hollywood".


	Since you asked....
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night)
Date: 12 Nov 92 18:23:04 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1992Nov10.233714.22696@midway.uchicago.edu> thf2@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>
>Peeve: Schlepping all the way downtown just to have a twenty-minute
>       interview with Judge Easterbrook.
>
>!Peeve: He gave me an offer.
>
>Peeve: I have to sit through two more years of law school before I can
>       start.



Cool. A non-computer type.

As Peevetown Human Resources Dictator and Funeral Parlor Operator,
I appoint you Peevetown Land Shark and Ambulance Chaser.

Good luck on your new jobs, both real and Peevetownish.

ObPeeve: WHen I worked for lawyers, I had to dress really nicely. They
did not tell me what I *should* wear. They only criticised my clothing
if they did not like it. Since I was not really able to afford $500
suits like they had, it was a tough call figuring out what to wear.

Peeve2: Lawyers are like some of the worst computer nerds I have met.
They seem to think that if you are not one of them, you were stupid,
unless you were an amicus curiae, expert witness or a client. It
was irritating beyond belief.

--
.. Clinton seems to be capable of staying awake for Cabinet
meetings, and his offspring squeezes pimples instead of little old
ladies' savings accounts... - Carol Osterbrook
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Limbaugh)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Driving with Parking Lights!
Date: 11 Nov 92 02:55:23 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard

In article <BxIMx9.L9D@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu> pmmuggli@midway.ecn.uoknor.edu  (pauline muggli) writes:

>i don't mind high beams approaching me as much as drivers who
>leave them on when they come up behind me.  ...  even if i flip the
>rear view mirror to the less light setting, i am still blinded
>for miles by the reflection in the side mirror.



This is especially irksome when Billy Bob comes up behind you in an F-350
pickup, illuminating the inside of your car with the effect of a Nazi
searchlight.

That, and the reflections in the side mirror are dangerous because they're
such a distraction.  Around here, this usually happens on totally unlit
roads, so it's like you're sitting in a lit room and looking out into
darkness.  With all the whizzy stuff being put on cars, you'd think they'd
come up with side mirrors that you can rotate over to a semi-silvered face
at night time.

For oncoming traffic, anyone remember those automatic highbeam dimmers on
50's Cadillacs?

-Dave

ObCar: 1930 V-16 Cadillac two door coupe
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Two bacon
Date: 11 Nov 1992 06:57:57 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1dq87lINN49@agate.berkeley.edu> henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken) writes:
>
>New International (hah) House of Pancakes ad:  "Two eggs, two bacon, ..."
>
>Two *bacon*??? 

Hey, man, aintcha ever played touch football?

One bacon, two bacon, three bacon, rush?

You know?

'Least that was what we always used to count back in Kentucky.
Dunno where you come from but maybe they had some kind of
genius scientists come up with something longer, fit three
whole syllables in one word, that kind of thing, give the
receivers some time to get downfield.

c
From: rab@ariel.ucs.unimelb.EDU.AU (Richard Alan Brown)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Australian peeves
Date: 5 Nov 1992 22:54:07 +1100
Organization: School of Physics, University of Melbourne
NNTP-Posting-Host: ariel.ucs.unimelb.edu.au
Summary: <sigh>

In article <lfdeplINNcbk@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>
>
>In article <1d5l9iINNlqk@ariel.ucs.unimelb.EDU.AU> rab@ariel.ucs.unimelb.EDU.AU (Richard Alan Brown) writes:
>
>>AssociatedPeeve: Australia referring to  most New Zealand Exports (bands,
>>inventions, people... etc) as Australian when they become popular.
>
>>Alistair (you can tell I'm a NZ'er no?) Scott.
>
>
>But aren't they the same thing?  I thought New Zealand was a state of
>Australia.
>
>
>Geoff
>
>
>-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
>Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
>geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
>-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

<sigh>
reminds me of one trip to 'murrica...
"ow.. New Zealand? do you have electricity there?"
or the immortal
" isnt New Zealand connected to Australia by the Sydney Harbour Bridge?"

or *then* there's...

"New Zealand... jus' where *in* South America *is* that"


Sheesh.

State of Australia? nope, not yet, and probably never. Similar colonial
origins, but Aust basically a penal colony, and NZ settled by the 
spoilt offspring of colonial white trash moneyed English.

Actually, I'm reminded of once in Mexico, I was wandering around some
alley looking at stalls, (yeah, typical tourist mark) I asked this
guy how much for the leather thing (never mind) and he said...
"hey man.. you from New Zealand? I bin there to play football, I tell
by youah accent"

heh, and then there was my mum, in Chigaco, a salescritter remarked on
enquiring as to her homeland.. "*my* and you speak such *good* english!"


Alistair (who is reminded of a National Geographic article where a large
percentage of the murkins interviewed in a geography quiz couldnt identify
Europe on a world map.) Scott

afs@tauon.ph.unimelb.edu.au

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: t88swa@tdb.uu.se (Sven Wallman)
Subject: Re: Football (soccer)
Organization: Dept. of Scientific Computing, Uppsala Univ.
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 01:10:33 GMT

Alan.Crowder@prg.oxford.ac.uk wrote:
: Why is it with the best football (soccer) league in the world,
: with the best players in the world, and the best teams, we
: cany beat the jocks (scots).

Perhaps because the Italian league is supposed to be the best soccer league
in the world?
--
Sven Wallman, S:t Larsg. 5, 753 11 Uppsala, Sweden, +46 1812 9237
"I think, therefore I'm right."-Hugo Rune

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Re: Ageism (was Presidential weather)
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Longevity, Inc.
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 18:04:15 GMT


In article <1992Nov5.213421.7254@igor.tamri.com>, donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:
[excisions]

|>Peeve:  Ornery old farts with no sense of self preservation.

Peeve: mindless youngsters crossing busy streets without their mums and
damaging their brains in the ensuing impact, leaving us old farts to care for
them in perpetuity.

Hope you live long enough to enjoy the pleasures of OldFartitude, a state
attainable if you stop lying down on the tracks when a train's coming.

--
Nolan "Man enough to do woman's work" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Anything that disorients you is good for you"  Tiny Doctor Tim
"Illiterati non Carborundum(tm)" Mise me fein
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"You can't combat illiteracy with soap" Jenny Gutbezahl, alt.peeves
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Presidential weather
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 92 22:39:20 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <92Nov05.190345.18616@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
>In article <9w#q35+@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
>>	Eeep! I just got off the phone with the county clerk. I ended up
>>with 17.2% of the vote! Next time we are definately gonna campaign. Apparently,
>>the people who got counted late hate 'Kiki' more than the rest of us. Over
>>600 people decided that I was the guy for the job. Well, mainly that Kiki
>>Saavedra wasn't. Still, its all kinda weird to think about.
>
>Tell us Chris: What would you have done if you had actually been
>elected? I'm quite serious...
	Well, as you might imagine, you are not the first person to
ask me this question. The first person to do so was me, right after
I got the notice from the Sec of State confirming that I was on the
ballot. 
	Well, the first thing I would have done, would be to fall down.
After getting back up, I prolly call ex-Rep Kiki Saavedra and gloat a
bit that he was so pathetic that he couldn't even win an election against
a guy that hardly campained. 

Then I would chuckle insanely for a while and dance a bit. 

Then, I would go down to school and explain to my professors that I would 
need to be out of class for a few weeks during the legislative session. 

Then off to my boss to explain the same thing.  

Then we'd have hopped into the MonterBaldwinTruck and headed to Santa
Fe to pass some pointless legislations and stuff like that. Ya know,
the normal legislative BS. 

	But this time, there'd be a difference! I'd have gotten to
write up bills abolishing huge portions of the government. They'd
get shot down in committee, but then people would know where I
stood. After 2 years of voting against every spending and tax measure
in sight, I'd probably get voted out of office and go back to my
normal life.

	But maybe not. Maybe, just maybe, I might convince the people
in my district that all these taxes are for the birds. Then I would
run for US House, then Senate. After a brief career in the Senate,
I would come back to run for Governor. After building NM up to have 
one of the highest standards of living in the nation. I'd be ready
for the White House. I can just see it now. Baldwin in '28!

Peeve: I lost the first election, so the country will just have to do
without President Baldwin.
-- 
Chris Baldwin                | Once again, Russ has saved the day through the 
baldwin@carina.unm.edu       | proper use of high explosives.  
                             |		 -Dan Sorenson
"Is it just a coincidence that aliens always choose to abduct stupid people?"
From: smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Halfwits.
Date: 10 Nov 92 01:16:22 GMT
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada

In article <1dkcj4INNktk@agate.berkeley.edu> curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:
>Peeve: Halfwits.
>
>Specifically, the halfwits at ac.dal.ca.  What is it with
>this place?  Is it some kind of remedial community college
>for the deformed children of alcoholic Eskimos?  What do
>they teach, walrus harpooning?

	Nope - we learn useful stuff.  Not what they teach at Berkeley,
evidently.

>Because when Mikey came on, I thought he had to be the
>scunge at the bottom of the barrel.  Someone bribed the
>admissions director, I thought, slipped him a couple
>of seal livers under the table, and thus are we afflicted
>with this helpless reject.

	Hey dude, like, chill out, man.  (I'm trying to make this so our
Californian friend can understand me.  It's quite a drop.)

>But now we have a couple of other snow apes trying to climb
>out of the same pit, and it appears Mikey is a regular
>valedictorian.  Of sorts.

	Snow apes?  Really.  You sound like the typical Yank who thinks that
drifts start immediately north of the 49th parallel.  What, still p*ssed off
that the Blue Jays won the American Series?

>I mean, it's understandable that these here Eskimos are unable
>to express themselves interestingly, or even grammatically, in
>the English language.  That much is expected.  Hell, even most
>Americans can't.

	Finally, a grain of truth.  The last sentence, that is.

>But to be able to miss the difference between their posts and
>the usual standard of expression on alt.peeves?  This isn't
>funny anymore.  We're talking serious _illiteracy_ now.
>And, as the National Campaign for Adult Literacy puts it,
>"Illiteracy is not a joke."

	Hell, I think that my English is just fine, thank you.

	Sean
-- 
Sean Smith - Dalhousie University  "I'm not paid to think - that's management." 
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada                    Don Cherry for Prime Minister in
01SSMITH@AC.DAL.CA or smith@ug.cs.dal.ca	'93 in Canada!
Disclaimer:  These ideas are mine...ALL MINE!!  'Cause noone else'd want 'em.
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: I've always been a .... (BDI)
Date: 4 Nov 92 22:22:54 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <27731@castle.ed.ac.uk> fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
>The Libertarian Super-Switch: pull this one and the entire voting booth
>will disappear since you shouldn't be voting all these limits on other
>people's freedoms anyway. A free gun will be dispensed in a handy slot
>just by the exit.

Kool!

Do I get to pick the caliber?????

   don
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude
    better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace.
    We ask not your councels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands
    which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity
    forget that ye were our countrymen." - Sam Adams
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: avdh@sunnyboy.dazixco.ingr.com (Alain van der Heide)
Subject: Re: Monty Bleedin' Python
Organization: Dazix - An Intergraph Company
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 17:20:10 GMT

In article <1d9olkINNmcn@CATHY.NA.CS.YALE.EDU>, yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin) writes:
> dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis) writes:
> >SSCPRICK@HASARA11.BITNET (Rick Jansen) writes:
[bad PseudoPython omitted]
> 
> Someone from Britain started this thread by complaining that all Americans
> he meets quote Monty Python to him, and that it is quite annoying.  I did
> not know what he was talking about at the time.  Now, due to the efforts of
> the two quoted posters, I do.
> 
> Guys, it really isn't necessary to give an example of the mentioned peeve in
> this fashion.  Makes you look like morons.
> 

Agreed.  Though it could be worse, they could be doing Benny Hill.

!Peeve:  Benny's dead.

Peeve:  MSDOS/Windows.  I must have done something awful in a former
life (like Benny Hill imitations maybe?), as I have been assigned to
trying to make a Windows app talk to a DOS app.  I am now in the middle
of a firehose pressure pissing match between various tools vendors as I
watch the applications and the communications tools merrily stomp all
over each others memory.

!Peeve: Unix sockets.  See previous peeve.

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Alain van der Heide                      |  This is the way the world ends  |
| avdh@dazixco.ingr.com                    |  This is the way the world ends  |
| "The opinions expressed above are mine-  |  This is the way the world ends  |
| mineminemine, and you can't have them."  |  Not with a bang, but with a whi

segmentation fault
core dumped
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: Space Age Outerwear
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 14:43:50 GMT

 (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

>top-notch.  The winds off the Pacific are smooth and pretty
>steady, so down by the Marina we get seven-foot breakers most
>every day, which is just about how I like them.  The water,
>needless to say, is warm.
>
>Hang ten, dude!
>
>c

Lyric by Tom Leher(sp?)

"The breakfast garbage that (San Francisco) throws into the bay,
 They drink for lunch in San Jose."

Scott Park
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Unbearable Lightness of California
Date: 12 Nov 92 18:01:27 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <27986@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson) writes:
>
>In other words, get your friggin' photo-talk out of here.



Peeve: I managed to rescue an overexposed roll of film, but only managed
to get 5 or so decent shots out of it on a 36 shot roll. THat's only
from viewing the contact prints. Enlarging those shots will probably
give me one definite "maybe"

Peeve2: Absent mindedness. I should have reset the ASA when I loaded the
film.

Pass the tea, Jeremy.
--
.. Clinton seems to be capable of staying awake for Cabinet
meetings, and his offspring squeezes pimples instead of little old
ladies' savings accounts... - Carol Osterbrook