Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Saying Good-bye One Last Time???
From: peregrin@husc14.harvard.edu
Date: 12 Jan 93 18:00:30 EST
Distribution: na
Organization: Harvard Business School

In article <43394@sdcc12.ucsd.edu>, rcarvaja@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (The Darklord) writes:
> 
> 	I don't know how to begin... I am to the point of breaking
> down without anyone to turn to... For the past month or so, I have
> been thinking deeply about the choices that I have made and the
> choices that I will make, and unfortunately, I have gotten nowhere.
> 

	There is good reason why you have gotten nowhere.  You are a
freshman in college, and you simply have not experienced all there is
to experience in life.  You have only a small view of what the possibilities
are.  You just haven't lived enough.
	You may feel like you know enough to figure all this out, but I
bet you you don't.  Ten years from now you'll wonder how you could believe
that you could figure it all out at that age.

> 	I said GOOD-BYE to my first true love, not my first love but
> my first true love, one last time. I don't know how I brought myself
> to do it, but I did. I told her that I really needed some time to
> myself, and she complied. We went our separate ways that day...
> 

	Extremely tough to do, and you must have had a good reason
to do so.  Maybe you can't articulate it quite yet.

> 	I'm not sure what the reasons were, and all I can do is
> guess.

	You said it yourself: > *** LIFE IS A NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE TO 
DEFINE ITSELF ***

	You sometimes have to guess at things.  You can't always have
all the facts in front of you.

> The two-year difference really did make a difference, my
> being a freshman in college and her being a junior in high school,
> our schedules did not allow for one another, or opposites really
> don't attract,
	
	That can be alot at your age.  Alot of changes happen within
those years.

> my being an INTJ(Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinker, and
> Judgemental) and her being an ENFP(Extrovert, iNtuitive, Feeler, and
> Perceptive).

	Personally, I consider that kind of categorization bullshit.
It does more harm than good slapping labels on yourself and others.

> It was hard for me to tell her good-bye, but it seems
> that it's harder for me to go running back to her.
> 
	Now you're beginning to sound like a top-40 pop song.

> 	She really doesn't know how much that I love her. She's my
> reason for living and my reason for dying.

	Gag.  You don't even begin to know your reason for living/dying
at your age.  And most people don't know it ever.  Don't kid yourself.

> Now that we're apart, I'm
> empty inside. She took a part of me with her, leaving me with only
> memories and our song("Masterpiece" by Atlantic Star), when we went
> our separate ways.

	In my opinion, songs and smells stay with you the longest...

> Is it obsession to want to be loved by someone
> whom you love?

	Nope.

> Is it infatuation when you want to be happy and when
> you're only happy if your significant other is happy?

	Nope.  But it is foolish.  Don't give the means to your happiness
for someone to hold.  Only you can look out for yourself in the end.

> Is it right
> for anyone, other than you or yor significant other, to decide
> whether what you feel is love or not?

	Nope it isn't.

> 
> 	I tried to answer those questions when I left, and yet in
> such solitude, those have not been answered. Only more have come up.
> One question that maybe someone else can answer: was my decision
> wise, that being to leave and go off on my own, even though I am now
> alone and feel the loneliness while I worry about Melanie all day
> and all night?
>

	If you play the percentages, what you did was wise.  But no one
can give you guarantees.

> 	Tell me what needs to be done...
> 
	1) cry a lot
	2) eat plenty of ice cream
	3) watch a really tear-jerking love story
	4) cry some more
	5) stay numb for a while
	6) and then start your life over

	No Regrets!  Only Endless Possiblities!

> 					Darklord
> 
> *** LIFE IS A NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE TO DEFINE ITSELF ***
> 

	Balance This in Life: Never Take Yourself Seriously / Be Aware
			      That Eventually You Will Die.

-James
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