From: 6500ursa@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu (Disco Junkie)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Subject: Re: AAAHHH!  Interracial dating.. again?  Why?
Date: 7 Oct 92 00:53:03 GMT
Distribution: soc

In article <1992Oct6.005021.9576@CSD-NewsHost.Stanford.EDU> ajh@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Alan Hu) writes:

>In article <5901@ucsbcsl.ucsb.edu> 6500ursa@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu (Disco Junkie) writes:
>	[Lots of cool stuff about differences between Hawaii and the
>	 mainland deleted.]

Thanks for the compliment.  Sometimes I wonder if anyone even reads my
comments on life in Hawai'i vs the mainland.  To bring it up again,
life for the asian-american is extremely different in Hawai'i as compared
to the mainland.

 >>Think about it...if you didn't deep down honestly (or subconsciously)
 >>believe that asians were inferior, it wouldn't bother you that asian women 
 >>are dating white or black men in disproportionate numbers!

>I've thought about it and still don't get it.  Suppose I believe
>Asians are vastly superior to any other race in the universe, especially
>Chinese-cu Asians (Hi Dwight!).  Wouldn't it really bother me if I saw
>lots of Asians going out with inferior human beings?

Yes, it might bother one, because it would give a good reason to doubt one's
racial superiority.  Because interracial dating in lopsided number does
throw in the idea of an inferiority complex.  Isn't that why this issue
always comes up again and again, because it is so emotionally charged?
(of course, look at what hypocrites we are, reading about this issue at this
very moment!  :-)  )

Look at it this way.  Let's say you have short hair.  If someone told you that 
men with short hair were ugly, geeky and stupid, you'd probably laugh them off,
because you don't believe it.  But supposed you believed it? Supposed the media
was full of images of geeky men with short hair?  Then this would probably 
hurt a lot more and cause a lot more emotional response.  

Same thing with race.  After all, race is a social construct, not a reality.
Look at asian men.  Those men in Hawai'i are less prone to believe 
that they are inferior to the white man.  Thus, interracial dating doesn't 
bother them as much.  Thus, when I was in high school, I blamed my women
problems more on my nerdiness, than my race.  Meanwhile, the mainland asians 
that I"ve met do have more of a problem with inferiority.  Thus, interracial 
dating does bother them much more.  Of course, since I have no hard data, I 
could be wrong.  For a more scholarly approach to this, look at Ogawa's 
_Jan Ken Po_, on the self-image of Hawai'i Japanese-Americans.

Which was why historically, the white male was deathly afraid of black men 
mixing with white women.  They were conditioned to believe that they were
way superior to the black man.  Why do you think interracial dating affected
them so much?  It dared to suggest that they may be inferior to the black man
when it came to sex.  (of course, when I say "white", I mean as a group.  
There have been countless white individuals who fought against this trend and 
against racism.)

>Or is the point inequality instead of inferiority?  Sure, if I believe
>all people are equal then interracial relationships are completely
>ho-hum.

You could be correct.  I'm more inclined to say that you and I have very
similar ideas, its only the semantics that differ.

>>  90% of the asian men who complain about asian women dating white men would 
>>  be silenced should a white woman fall in love with them!

>I beg to differ.  I've had a number of white women fall in love with me.
>This is not a boast, just reality.  And I don't think I'm particularly
>amazingly studly or anything.  I'm certainly not silenced.  The issue
>is NOT racism and jealousy and women-as-property.  The issue is why, in
>sociological terms, is there such marked non-random interracial mating
>behavior.

Did other asian men think that you are particularly studly, however, for 
dating white women?  And in the past, when you were more influenced by
the media, you did think that white women were superior, right?  (Or am
I confusing you with another poster?)  Once I was in a roomful of asian
men.  They asked me if I had dated white women.  I said yes, and they went,
"ooohhh", like I was some kinda stud.  I got so angry that I gave them a
10 minute lecture on ethnic awareness and pride.  (They probably thought
that I was some out-of-touch leftist kook.  :-)  )

And second, if the issue is such an exercise in sociology, then why does
it arouse such deep passions in everyone?  (including me, sad to say)  Why 
is it that in the mainland, this seemed to be THE issue among asian men, 
whether the east coast, the midwest, or in the west coast?

>>- There are LOTS of single attractive black women available.  Why are the
>>  asian men not viciously complaining about black women not going for them ? 

>	Racism.

Yes, I agree.  And this is the BIGGEST reason I think asian men are mad
because they can't get white women.  Why are interracial discussions
solely limited to white/asian? To all asian men, look around you, there are 
lots of single intelligent black women! Why have you ignored them in all 
discussions of interracial dating?  I feel that most asian men have shut
out any idea of black women because of the racism against black skin in
asian culture.

>>I'm not saying that the complaints about interracial dating are not valid.
>>I just think that before we asian men condemn asian women, we must honestly 
>>look at WHY we are condemning them.  Is it because we secretly deep down 
>>prefer white too?  Think about that before you cast those stones.

>How about not condemning anyone at all?  If I ask, "Why are there many
>more right-handed people than left-handed people?" am I condemning
>left-handed people?  I don't think so.

I liked your analysis of interracial dating.  It was objective and
mature.  Yet, I wonder how objective other people can be on this.  I feel
that many of the talk of this subject does have a tone of condemnation to
it (and sadly, I was guilty of it too.  :-(  ) 

I just wonder if that's all people on this newsgroup can talk about,
or if this is the only subject that will get people's attention.  I"ve
written about lots of other topics, and got few responses.  I know this
interracial dating thing is the best way to get lots of people involved.

D Junkie