From: smorris@venus.lerc.nasa.gov (Ron Morris )
Subject: How the Grinch Stole Woofing
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center
Date:  7 Jan 1993 11:37 EDT  

I was sitting with my son last night watching his favorite Christmas            
show for about the 20th time, and it occurred to me how similar the             
story was to the current big topic in this group.  So, with apologies           
to Dr. Suess (you have to know the story to get this):                          


              How the Grinch Stole Woofing                                      

All the Canes down in Caneville liked New Years a lot                           
But the Grinch, who lived north of Caneville, did not                       
The Grinch hated New Years, the whole bowl game season                          
Obnoxious Miami fans were quite enough reason                                   

"For tommorrow I know, all those Cane fans will come                            
With disgusting behavior that redefines dumb                                    
They'll shout and they'll sing, they'll raise drinks to toast                   
They'll spend the whole year doing nothing but boast"                           

"And then they'll do something I hate most of all                               
All the Canes down in Caneville the tall and the small                          
Will tire of shouting that rattles the roofing                                  
They'll take keys in hand... and those Canes will start woofing"                

(Sung to the tune of whatever that song is)                                     
"We're the greatest, we're the greatest                                         
U-M won the MNC                                                                 
We're the greatest, we're the greatest                                          
Though our IQ's fifty three"                                                    

And the more the Grinch thought of the Cane fan woofing                         
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing                      
Why for over ten years I've put up with it now                                  
I must stop Miami from winning...but how?"                                      

"I know just what to do" the grinch said very droll                             
"I'll make the Canes play outside their Orange Bowl"                            
He chuckled and clucked "What a great thing to do                               
Without home field advantage they'll play like Purdue"                          

So he set up the game, and they started to play                                 
And the Canes got their butts kicked from here to Bombay                        
They got stomped on defense, the same with the O                                
The Canes even lost to the girl's halftime show                                 

"Woe Woe to Canes" he was grinchily humming                                     
"They're finding out now that no fifth ring is coming                           
They're just getting in, I know just what they'll do                            
They'll stare at the keyboard a minute or two                                   
Then the Canes down in Caneville will all type 'Boo Hoo'"                       

"Those are some posts that I simply must read"                                  
He logged in, and he saw the results of his deed                                   
And he did see some posts coming over the net                                   
They started out slow, then came on like a jet                                  

"We're the greatest, we're the greatest                                         
Bama won the MNC                                                                
We're the greatest, we're the greatest                                          
Though our IQ's fifty three"                                                    

He hadn't stopped woofing from coming, it came                                  
Some how or the other, it came just the same                                    

And the Grinch with hands poised above the top row                              
Sat puzzling and puzzling, "How could it be so?"                                
"It came without duckies... it came without tans                                
It came without obnoxious Miami fans"                                           

He thought and he thought, till his head throbbed with pain                      
Then the Grinch thought of something with what sense remain                     
"Maybe woofing" he thought "doesn't come from the Canes                         
Maybe woofing, perhaps, comes from all with no brains"                          

And now the true nature of this group came clear                                
And the Grinch knew that woofing would always be here                           
So he sat at his keyboard, and he typed with much glee                          
"All the rest of you suck, Let's Go Blue '93!"                                  


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year                                              

Ron                                                                             
Newsgroups: rec.sport.football.college