From: ctatro@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Christopher D Tatro)
Subject: Send in the clones: Legion Problems
Keywords: Don't Forget the Chaos...
Organization: The Ohio State University
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 18:23:41 GMT

(Note: the views in this article are mainly the view of my friend Stefan
Krzywicki who, after several hours of debate and re-reading old issues last
night went as screwy as Brainy (Omega is Coming!!!) and felt it necessary to
vent his spleen (?) on the net, where he just might get some answers to these
perplexing and impossible circumstances that the Legions have found
themselves in! Egads! What a run-on sentence!  Stefan owns all of the Old
History issues and is very disturbed by the whole clone thing/history problems,
as any sentient being would be.)

First I would just like to point out that Japanese Animee really does not suit
the Legion.  The "Huge Eyes" look given to them in the art of Issue 36 is quite
silly and I keep expecting Astro Boy or Robotech to happen on the scene.  Now,
with that out of the way, on to the problems...

     First of all, the costumes of the SW6ers seem to have been taken from a
wide variety of times in the Legion's past or made up all-together.  Phantom
Girl, Duo Damsel and Invisible Kid (Invisible Kid's being altered in a way that
never appeared during the run of his character in the original series) are good
examples of this problem.  What ever happened to the skirts the women wore, now
they are all wearing some sheath type thing that exposes their buttocks when
they move!

     Aside from these aesthetic problems, When Invisible Kid drips out of his
pod, he says "well, looks like the Gang's all here" but we never, never see
Bouncing Boy, ShadowLass, Timber Wolf or Chemical King.  All of these were in
the Legion in the apparently long peroid over which these clones were stolen.
I doubt anyone would have bothered to erase just that part of his memory.
Bouncing Boy was a very powerful member and may have represented a threat to
the Dominators (They could have died laughing) but I still feel cheated by his
absence.  Are there any theories on the exact issue they were taken from, I
don't think there was just one.

     Next problem, how do you clone two invulnerable people without their
knowledge?

     Also, Matter Eater Lad (Bwah-hah-hah-ahah) can digest anything and the
best area from which undifferenciated cells can be obtained is the stomach
lining or stomach fluid.  I'll leave it to you to figure it out.

    "Clone Bank?" Get real!

     Where the hell did the proper memories come from that both SW6 and the
"Old Fogies" apparently share?  I'm sorry but they used any cloning materials
for spare parts, why would they have brain scans lying around?  If they did ,
why didn't Insane Lad (aka. Braniac 5 in his artistic period (remember
Omega?))[how can we forget, they've shown him half a dozen times in the New
Series already! Omega is Coming!! -kristoff] clone his dead friends or indeed,
everyone to make them fight themselves (Holy Marvel Batman!!!)  Also, the
younger Brainy should either be insane now or right on the verge.  OOOPS.

     Now, perhaps the biggest problem of them all...Superboy!!!

(possible spoiler in the next paragraph.  If you never think about the story
line, that is.)




     Sorry, got carried away there, anyone else having a problem with a new
history to "remember?"  By the way, Inside sources at DC say Kent is really
Superboy from a renewed pocket universe with a mindblock preventing him from
using certain powers, but I'm sure you knew that already.  Supposidly, it will
be revealed in Issue 50.  Kent will, in the next few issues, get hit with a new
mind block or will be possesed by that which possesed Dawnstar(Bounty).  The
thing will know he is Superboy but not tell anyone(like it would bother) and as
Brainy(s) works to drive it out, he comes across the mind blocks and restores
his memory.  Pretty nifty Huh? (Holy Reflecto Batman!!)

     OK, the real biggest problem: Triplicate Girl/Duo Damsel/Mono Maid.
If SW6 was cloned, why is she only a Duo?  Her costume as seen only existed for
an isuue or two so that should at least narrow her "clone window"  but now the
show stopper, she hasn't split yet.  Just about everyone else has "showcased"
their power, she hasn't.  I think she is a spy, planted by the Dominators,
maybe even created by the Dominators to keep tabs on their experiments (Chris,
my colleague and owner of this account thinks this is silly, by the way, from
now on he is Grammar Boy!!!) she hasn't commented on the loss of her manly love
either, you remember, Bouncing Boy!!!  Valor Boy(Mon-El! we will remember!)
also seems non-plussed by a lack of Shady, is he getting it on with Laurel
(remember Niven's "Woman of Tissue", after all and somebody has to repopulate
Daxam so someone can use them as pawns again) or maybe Brainy or maybe himself,
talk about Oedipus, anyway...

     If anyone has theories (other than the catchall, It's retro history)
please send them to Zoom po Box... sorry, please send them to
this Address

-Stefan Krzywicki

     Omega is coming! (no, I don't have any inside info on that, but wouldn't
it be neat!)[and there ain't no more miracle machine boys and girls!!!!!! -
Stefan]
-kristoff
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