HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: twain@milton.u.washington.edu (Barbara Hlavin)
Subject: Netwits 
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 16:13:09 GMT


So I picked up a book called _Dear Wit: Letters from the World's Wits_. 
It took me about half an hour to chortle from one end to the other, 
which, given its 260-page length, cost me about one cent a minute for 
entertainment while waiting for the bus.  

There was a certain haunting familiarity to some of the entries, and 
then I realized that here were some of our own r.a.b.ble in their 
previous incarnations. 


Here's Francis Muir:

	Dear Mr. Maugham: 

		Do you think I should put forth more fire into my stories?

			Ann Onymous

	Dear Miss Onymous:

		No.  Vice versa.

			Somerset Maugham

...and Mike Godwin:

	Dear Judge,

		The clerk of your court told me I could have a lawyer
	represent me but I do not need one, the Lord is my advocate.

			Unnamed Defendant

	Dear Sir, 

		I still feel you should have someone locally. 

			Judge Isaacs


I don't find this witty in itself, but it made me laugh anyway because 
it reminded me so deliciously of Mike Morris:

					Malverne, August 21st, 1851

	Dear Ellis,

		...the other day I was overtaken by a hearse as I was 
	strolling along and reading the night expedition of Diomede
	and Ulysses. [...]

		I do not think that I ever, at Cambridge or in India, did
	a better day's work in Greek than today.  I have read at one 
	stretch fourteen books of the Odyssey, from the Sixth to the 
	Nineteenth inclusive.  I did it while walking to Worcester and 
	back.  

			Ever yours, 

			T.B. Macaulay

  
And, of course, Tom Maddox:

(William Cole spent fifteen years soliciting jacket blurbs from notables...)

	Dear Sir, 

		I've been laughing ever since I picked up your book.  
	Some day I'm going to read it. 

			Groucho


And this one is r.a.b.bleish in general tone:

	Dear Mr. Fuller:

		I was struck (lightly) the other day by the following 
	wonder:  if lawyers become disbarred, and priests are unfrocked, 
	how might people in other paths of life be read out of their 
	profession or calling?

		It occurred to me then that electricians get delighterd...
	and musicians possibly denoted.  If these assumptions are 
	correct, surely it follows that cowboys must be deranged, 
	that models are deposed, anad judges are obviously distorted. 
	A medium who loses her license is dispirited and... it seems 
	only poetic justice then that a Far Easterner who is banished 
	is disoriented. 

		I could go on and on, but I don't want to overload the 
	mail handlers.  An office worker who can't cope may, alas, 
	become defiled. 

			Yours sincerely, 

			Marian Forer
From: dougm@hal.com (Doug Moran)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
Subject: Re: Sincerity is Bullshit
Date: 27 Jul 92 16:47:05 GMT
Reply-To: dougm@hal.com (Doug Moran)
Followup-To: talk.religion.misc
Organization: HaL Computer Systems, Inc.; Campbell, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: gizmo.hal.com
In-reply-to: zeleny@husc8.harvard.edu (Michael Zeleny)

>In article <92Jul25.021431edt.47919@neat.cs.toronto.edu>
>cbo@cs.toronto.edu (Calvin Bruce Ostrum) writes:
>
>>In <1992Jul24.023146.14116@husc3.harvard.edu>
>>Mikhail Zeleny (zeleny@husc.harvard.edu) writes to an excessively
>>large number of newsgroups:
>
>Thank you for sharing your judgment of impropriety of my cross-posting,
>Calvin.  However, I'm sure you will agree with me that it is the author's
>prerogative to choose the venues for his writings.  Feel free to respond
>wherever you see fit, for I shall do just that.

I don't know; at 400+ lines, talk.religion.misc and talk.philosophy.misc
are probably the perfect venues for Michael Zeleny's posting.  After
all, verbosity *is* what philosphy mostly produces.
-- 
    Doug Moran        | Heck, picture if aliens ever landed in California.
   dougm@hal.com      | Instead of running away or even inquiring about the
 {...}!hal.com!dougm  | secrets of the universe, *Californians* would probably
 HaL Computer Systems | ask the BEMs if they had any new cuisine!
From: ian@spider.co.uk (Ian Heavens)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
Subject: Re: Bathroom reading
Date: 30 Jul 92 12:11:51 GMT
Organization: Spider Systems Limited, Edinburgh, UK.

I have a short biography of Thomas Crapper, who invented the flush
toilet, in this room.

ian

---
Ian Heavens				ian@spider.co.uk                 
Spider Software
Spider Park, Stanwell Street		
Edinburgh, EH6 5NG, Scotland		+44 31 555 5166 (Ext 4347)
--
From: ianr@muppet.bt.co.uk (Ian Robertson )
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
Subject: The Crow Road
Date: 24 Jul 92 10:05:31 GMT
Reply-To: ianr@muppet.bt.co.uk
Organization: British Telecom


	Anyone read Iain Banks latest yet. If so how dose
it compare with "The Bridge" or "Espidair Street" or is it
more like "Canal Dreams" or could it be another "Wasp Factory".

	Please email 

LOVE & LIGHT
		Ian
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books,news.answers
From: marcy@sqwest.wimsey.bc.ca (Marcy Thompson)
Subject: Re: Revisited Classics (was Re: Little Men)
Organization: SoftQuad Inc., Surrey, British Columbia, CANADA
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 22:55:18 GMT

In a recent rec.arts.books article, francis@oas.stanford.edu (Francis Muir) wrote:
>Marcy Thompson writes:
>
>	Jan Yarnot wrote:
>
>		One of my favorites which has stood up to re-reading has 
>		been DADDY LONG LEGS by Jean Webster.  
>
>	If you liked DADDY LONG LEGS, you'll probably like DEAR ENEMY by 
>	the same author. You do have to ignore some of the comments about 
>	the poor and the mentally retarded, as they are based on the latest 
>	theories of the 1910s. But it's a charming book anyway.
>
>I am curious. How many others share Ms Thompson's view that we are now so
>much more understanding of the problems of poverty and mental retardation
>that we can afford to ignore earlier views?
>
>							Fido
>

Have you read the book? The theories I am referring to are some of
those which were promoted during the 1910s. They went as follows:

  Irish people left to reproduce unsupervised will produce more
  idiots and morons than "regular" people.

  Mongoloids should be sterilised because it is hereditary.

There are other comments in the book which should not necessarily
be ignored, but if you notice, I said "ignore some".

Perhaps you should find out what you are talking about before you
accuse me of being arrogant and self-righteous???

Marcy

-- 

Marcy Thompson		
  SoftQuad (West)			
    marcy@sq.com
From: cramer@optilink.UUCP (Clayton Cramer)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
Subject: Re: McWhirter brothers (was Dickens: the greatest?)
Date: 21 Jul 92 18:19:03 GMT
Organization: Optilink Corporation, Petaluma, CA

In article <12618@box.rl.ac.uk>, jva@inf.rl.ac.uk (John V Ashby) writes:
# #Surely, the view that London is like Tehran is an exaggeration.  Maybe
# #it is only Edinburgh where murderous fanaticism has come to dominate,
# #and it brings on murder to express an opinion offensive to the IRA and
# #the hard left.  Edinburgh wasn't like that when I was there.
# 
# Let us then bring the analogy a little closer to home and a little
# more obvious (I hope). Would you say that the disabled mother (note)
# who was spat upon, called "a queer" and threatened with rape "to sort
# out her sexuality" in Springfield, Oregon (as reported on yesterday's
# BBC News) brought such behaviour on herself by putting a NO ON HATE
# sticker on her wheelchair. I wouldn't, I hope you wouldn't and I'd be
# very interested to hear the views of Mr Cramer, whose observations first
# drew the claim of fanaticism from you and who I believe has strong views
# on these matters. However, there seems to be a sizeable and growing number

She didn't bring it on herself.  Responsibility for a violent attack
is on the attacker -- not the victim.  Liberals have worked long and
hard to promote the idea that criminals aren't responsible for their
actions; why should I suddenly agree with them?

# of your fellow citizens who would. Such reports make it difficult for
# those of us on this side of the Atlantic to take seriously complaints
# about fanaticism from the other side.

I certainly wouldn't assume that all of Edinburgh is as stupid, 
fanatical, and fascist as the posters from Edinburgh here on this
newsgroup.

# john



-- 
Clayton E. Cramer {uunet,pyramid}!optilink!cramer  My opinions, all mine!
"Well, maybe the Holocaust was right *for that culture*." -- a moral relativist
with whom I work.
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
From: rauser@fraser.sfu.ca (Richard John Rauser)
Subject: Re: I don't like Dickens...so sue me!
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 18:25:17 GMT

crb@doc.ic.ac.uk (Ruth) writes:


>Different tastes I guess (but I still can't understand anyone having a taste
>for Shakespeare - I know, burn me at the stake as a heathen, pluck out my
>eyes, but off my head............)

    I'm tempted...:-). I can't imagine anyone not appreciating the genius
behind Shakespeare's work. 

    "Thus is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this
sun of York."

    "By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes."

    "A faint, cold fear thrills through my veins."

    "For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings,
     That then I scorn to change my state with kings."

    "No more the thirsty entrance of this soil
     Shall daub her lips with her own children's blood."


....how could anyone not appreciate a genius who produces phrases like
these? None of  Shakespeare's contemporaries could write like this,
nor has anyone since been able to match him. Oh William, truly thou
art honoured above all men!

--
Richard J. Rauser          Holli Would If She Could
rauser@sfu.ca  
WNI                         And She Is...Right Now
 
Xref: sparky rec.arts.books:12776 rec.arts.sf.misc:2122 rec.humor:24175 alt.folklore.urban:19412 alt.religion.kibology:3139
From: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu (lawrence finkel cis stnt)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books,rec.arts.sf.misc,rec.humor,alt.folklore.urban,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: help please, when did Isaac Asimov die?
Date: 22 Jul 92 11:51:03 GMT
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.

In article <1992Jul21.204919.8652@nsisrv.gsfc.nasa.gov> bur@ultisol.gsfc.nasa.gov (MAC) writes:
>In article <1992Jul21.192624.2214@venice.sedd.trw.com> gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore) writes:
>>In article <Brq09A.CCI@hatch.socal.com> richg@hatch.socal.com (Rich Greenberg) writes:
>>>>In article <BrL9wz.F2F@news.udel.edu>, stabosz@chopin.udel.edu (Rae Stabosz) writes:
>>>> Hi,
>>> 
>>>> My daughter would like to prove to someone that Isaac Asimov has died.
>>>
>>>Acording to the editorial in the 9/92 issue of Isaac Asimov's SF Magazine,
>>>he died April 6, 1992 :-(((
>>>
>>>He was 72 years old and had been ill for about a year.
>>>
>>>RIP Isaac.
>>^^^^ ^^^^^
>>
>>NOT Isaac!  He's up there raising H*** with someone!
>>
>
>Ah, a-hem, that would be *down* there.


Sorry folks ,
 Asimov was freeze dried 2 hours before his official _Death_.
 Attempts will be made to reconstitute him in 2437.
-- 
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
#                     Lawrence Finkel: lxf8351@hertz.njit.edu                 #
#   "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."   #
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
From: mnemonic@eff.org (Mike Godwin)
Subject: Re: Unspoken Words
Originator: mnemonic@eff.org
Organization: Electronic Frontier Foundation
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 22:58:04 GMT

In article <1992Jul29.173405.5711@morrow.stanford.edu> francis@oas.stanford.edu (Francis Muir) writes:

>Another mathematical one. I have never met an American wdo did not
>mispronounce Sturm-Liouville as Sturm-Louisville.

I know empirically that you have met at least one American who does
not mispronounce "Sturm-Liouville" in this manner.


--Mike




-- 
Mike Godwin,     |"Crime is contagious. If the Government becomes a law-
mnemonic@eff.org | breaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every
(617) 864-0665   | man to become a law unto himself. It invites anarchy."
EFF, Cambridge   |         --Brandeis, J., dissenting in Olmstead v. U.S.  
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
From: mikulska@astro.Princeton.EDU (Margaret Mikulska)
Subject: Re: Ahasuerus
Originator: news@ernie.Princeton.EDU
Organization: Princeton University
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 07:46:06 GMT

In article <m=kmrd_@lynx.unm.edu> rsquires@cyclops.eece.unm.edu (Roger Squires) writes:
>The Dowager Duchess of Denver's cat in Sayers'
>_Busman's Honeymoon_ is named this, and I see that
>Drury Lane in Ellery Queen's _Drury Lane's Last Case_
>mentions Ahasuerus as well.
>
>Who is Ahasuerus?  There is no entry in 
>the Smaller Classical Dictionary, nor in the
>back of the Webster's Unabridged, so 
>I'm confident someone here will know.


Ahasuerus or the Wandering Jew - a personnage from a mediaeval Christian
legend, condemned to wander without rest until the Day of Judgement, for
having ridiculed Christ on his way to the cross.  The Wandering Jew
appears in various variants of the legend under different names, of
which Ahasuerus is the most often encountered.


-Margaret
mikulska@astro.princeton.edu

From: daq@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom)
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 15:16:15 GMT
Subject: Re: Dickens vs. Twain
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books

In rec.arts.books, rauser@fraser.sfu.ca (Richard John Rauser) writes:

> 
> 
> 
> 
>    I've always seen a parallel between these two...both were late 19th
> century novelists, both saw themselves as social prophets of a sort,
> and both concerned themselves with their society's outcasts in their
> novels. 
> 
>    So who do you prefer?
> 

Twain wrote more short stories.  Therefore he is better.

doug
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
From: starr@genie.slhs.udel.edu (Tim Starr)
Subject: Re: Wizard Of OZ
Organization: UDel, School of Life & Health Sciences
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 05:54:03 GMT

In article <Brwt8o.CIG@world.std.com> jfl@world.std.com (John Lovett) writes:
}I heard Milton Friedman on a talk show today, saying that
}'The Wizard Of Oz' is really an advocacy of William Jennings Bryan's
}policy of a dual monetary standard, using both Silver and Gold.
}
}So, for example, 'OZ' stands for ounces.
}
}Can someone deconstruct the book, giving us the real story?  It would
}make the movie a lot more fun to watch.

I've heard a little about this.  The Yellow Brick Road stood for the gold
standard, the Emerald City stood for Washington, D.C., the Tin Woodman stood
for Industry, the scarecrow stood for the farmers (Grange types)... that's
about all I've heard.  Anyone know anything more?


Tim Starr - Renaissance Now! - Think Universally, Act Selfishly

"True greatness consists in the use of a powerful understanding to enlighten
oneself and others." - Voltaire

Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
From: fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis)
Subject: Re: Anglophily reigns at the new New Yorker
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 19:43:38 GMT
Organization: Loose Affiliation of Millionaires and Billionaires and Baby

Francis Muir writes:
>Joann Zimmerman writes:
>
>	Francis Muir writes:
>
>		I think that Tina from the Tatler must now be in command 
>		at the NYer.  The veddy British cartoonist Ronald Searle 
>		has done the cover for the July 27 issue. Gawd, it looks 
>		like a reincarnation of Punch.
>
>	Tina Brown is not due to officially take over at the New Yorker
>	until October, according to the NYT.
>
>Then the peasants must be practising sucking up.
>
>	The New Yorker has run a number of Roland Searle covers in the
>	past. Can one be currently adorning my fridge?
>
>Searle tout seul I hope.
>
Back when Searle was young and struggling, he illustrated the
best introduction a 1950s youth could have for English public 
school life: the Molesworth books. No Anglophile should be without 
them, or for that matter, no Anglophobe either. To this day,
phrases from the books, aided by their attendant perfect illustrations,
make Life Worth Living. As my son grows older, becoming more and
more like Molesworth I and less and less like Molesworth II, I'm
sure there are some of you who know what I mean. 

The Molesworth books are at least as good as Stalky&Co.  

As for Searle suddenly appearing on New Yorker covers, it ain't
so. He has regularly had covers for them. I imagine the limiting
factor there is $$$. He's the best. For years there wasn't a 
political cartoonist in this country who hadn't cadged his style
from Searle. Even the Hunter Thompson book illustrator, Ralph
Steadman, went to school on Searle. 
-- 
Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu> Older than before.
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
From: rauser@fraser.sfu.ca (Richard John Rauser)
Subject: Dickens vs. Twain
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 18:32:00 GMT





   I've always seen a parallel between these two...both were late 19th
century novelists, both saw themselves as social prophets of a sort,
and both concerned themselves with their society's outcasts in their
novels. 

   So who do you prefer?

--
Richard J. Rauser          Holli Would If She Could
rauser@sfu.ca
WNI                         And She Is...Right Now

Newsgroups: rec.arts.books,misc.legal
From: msmorris@watsci.waterloo.edu (Mike Morris)
Subject: Re: The Writings of Socrates
Organization: University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 01:33:57 GMT

  
                                       Wednesday, the 29th of July, 1992
Ed Nilges writes:
  The "writings of Socrates" was infelicitous since Plato recorded these
  dialogs.  However, Derrida problematizes the entire relationship of the
  two thinkers; at one and the same time, we want Socrates to be the
  author of the dialogs AND we desire him not to be sullied with the act
  of writing.  Sort of like the aliterate faculty heavy who has his
  graduate students do his papers, or the senior corporate type who won't
  learn email.  Derrida psychoanalyzes this contradictory desire as
  central to Western metaphysics, and it surfaces in the net in the form
  of hysterical flames re who "said" what on a written medium.  
  
  The phrase "the writings of Socrates" is apt to be a sort of
  snigger-causer on boysnet, sort of like a dirty joke in a simpler age,
  for as we all know Real Men don't Write.  They speak, and their writings
  are inscribed on our hearts in letters of flame.

You know, Ed, I thought your misreading of the infamous Posner
paragraph so singularly creative as to be worthy of being anthologized
in _Howlers of the PC_.

But now it seems you are able to do it as a matter of course.

I, for one, know of no one who sniggers at ``the writings of Socrates''
*because* he thinks Real Men Don't Write. Most everyone I know would love
there to exist writings from Socrates himself. It's just that there aren't
any. And this is a very famous problem about Socrates. Plato was a supreme
dramatic writer, not to mention philosopher. And Xenophon was a fine writer
without being the intellectual heavyweight that Plato was. And the two
of them gave us ``written'' versions of Socrates. How much is Socrates,
how much is Plato or Xenophon we just don't know and it's the kind of
question classicists have liked to puzzle over for centuries. Usually
classicists compromise by agreeing that most Xenophon and the early Plato
report Socrates' actual words & arguments accurately enough. But they agree
that the later Plato is more Plato himself coming through, even though
it, too, is in the form of Socratic dialogues. Hence people will say
``Socratic writings'' or ``the Socratic writings of Plato or Xenophon''
but *not* ``the writings of Socrates''. It sounds ignorant. That's
why people snigger.

Why does it seem necessary for you to turn every little thing into some
dark political design?

And ``problematizes''? Ouch.

             Mike Morris
         (msmorris@watsci.uwaterloo.ca)
From: cramer@optilink.UUCP (Clayton Cramer)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
Subject: Re: Nobel winners
Date: 21 Jul 92 22:00:40 GMT
Organization: Optilink Corporation, Petaluma, CA

In article <1992Jul17.165112.15939@sics.se>, torkel@sics.se (Torkel Franzen) writes:
> In article <1992Jul17.160242.24206@ee.rochester.edu> prakash@ee.rochester.edu 
> (Siddhartha Duttagupta) writes:
#    #I myself find it a little difficult to believe that Momsen who was a 
#    #historian and Winston Churchill a carrer politician,contributed more to  
#    #literature than so many other talented but unrecognised  writers from
#    #around the world.
# 
#    It wasn't actually stipulated in Nobel's will that the prize should be
# awarded for fiction. However, there is little doubt that the Academy
# neglected a fine opportunity for discrediting the prize once and for all
# by not awarding it to Hitler for Mein Kampf before the war rather than to
# Churchill for "How I won the war" after the war.

Churchill wrote two multivolume works: _A History of the English Speaking
Peoples_ and _The Second World War_.  It was for the former work, not
the latter, tha the Nobel Prize was awarded, wasn't it?  In any case,
to characterize _The Second World War_ as "How I won the war" is the
sort of snotty remark I would expect from a country that didn't have
any moral problems helping the Nazis to invade Norway, and continued
to sell the Nazis raw materials until 1943.

-- 
Clayton E. Cramer {uunet,pyramid}!optilink!cramer  My opinions, all mine!
"Well, maybe the Holocaust was right *for that culture*." -- a moral relativist
with whom I work.
From: barclay@RAIL9000.gatech.edu (Barclay Blanchard)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
Subject: Re: Young Adult Books
Date: 24 Jul 92 02:35:56 GMT
Organization: Georgia Tech Research Institute

Has anyone here heard of the Beverly Gray books?  My Mom had the whole set
and passed them on to me.  They were written around the 40s, probably.  I
remember them as being better than Nancy Drew.

Did any of you read the Meg books?  I can't find those anymore.

-- 
Barclay Elizabeth Blanchard    barclay@rail9000@gatech.edu
"I've been laughed at by some of the funniest people."
--Lissie, Alice Walker's _The Temple of My Familiar_
Newsgroups: rec.arts.books
From: fi@grebyn.com (Fiona Webster)
Subject: Re: Mao II by Don DeLillo
Organization: Grebyn Timesharing
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 12:45:36 GMT

Mike Rogers writes:
>If you think that's bad, you should try White Noise. great Book, pity nothing
>happens.

I was so infatuated with _White_Noise_ when I first read it, I gained
weight and had my hair frizzed, so that I'd more closely resemble the
character Babette.  It was my Babette phase.  :-)

							--Fiona
Newsgroups: rec.arts.animation
From: rfd@po.CWRU.Edu (Richard F. Drushel)
Subject: Re: Mini-Review: "Off His Rockers" A New Disney Short
Reply-To: rfd@po.CWRU.Edu (Richard F. Drushel)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 92 19:25:55 GMT


In a previous article, mab@wdl39.wdl.loral.com (Mark A Biggar) says:

>Disney has a new short animated feature showing before 
>"Honey I Blew Up The Kid".  It features a cute but cliched story and an
>excelent blend of regular and computer animation techniques.  Of
>special note are the computer animated wood grain effects.

	The technical aspects of the short are interesting, but
everything else is just stupid.  It is not cute, it is disgustingly
cloying.  I think this short tries to be a 1930s Silly Symphony, but
it did not have the sincerity of those Disney shorts, only the
appearance of it.  Gack, what a waste of effort.  Why not another
"Roger Rabbit" cartoon?
-- 
Rich Drushel ** rfd@po.CWRU.edu *** Biology Ph.D. Student ** Cleveland FreeNet
Co-Sysop, Coleco ADAM Forum --- Assistant Sysop, Science Fiction & Fantasy SIG
"Solda pung apfashat ro des-marno, / Marn ladir o armag noth yeni arno. / Hell
miryat it, / Jambo iat it, / Os lasse wei ticip kati baldo." / Old Ennish poem