From: dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Diane Segelhorst)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Two year old tantrums, vomiting, and bedtime
Date: 23 Jul 92 20:18:22 GMT
Reply-To: dsegelho@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Diane Segelhorst)
Organization: Annapolis Detachment, CDNSWC

I need some help on tantrums, vomiting, and going to bed for a two year
old. This will probably get relatively long - sorry in advance.

First to set the stage:  My son Brad is almost two.  He has always been
a very intense little boy, with very intense emotions.  We have been
having some tantrums, but pretty much the normal terrible two stuff.
We also have a new baby, 5 weeks old.  The tantrums have gotten a little
worse since she was born, but mostly due (I think) to frustration at
me for not picking him up (I had a c-section) and not necessarily jealousy.
The whole going to bed process has gotten to be more and more of a hassle
- he just doesn't want to go to bed, even though he is tired.  We have
been completing the ritual of bath, brush teeth, and stories.  Then
he keeps insisting "one more kiss" for the parent not in the room, four
or five times.  Eventually it either stops and he stays in bed, or we
just ignore him when he bangs on the door to get out and he falls asleep.

One evening last week Brad had a tantrum over something - I don't even
remember the cause. (something like telling him he couldn't color on
the walls :-().  I tried to calm him down by letting him sit by himself,
then by holding him.  When nothing seemed to help, I decided to go ahead
and put his pajamas on him, as long as he was crying anyway.  This got
him absolutely hysterical. (obviously, this was a bad decision on my
part).  It took quite a while to get him calmed down after that.  Eventually
though, he (relatively) calmly brushed his teeth and we started reading
stories, when he vomited. He has never done that before (nothing since
the baby spitups), so it really seemed to scare him.  It kept on for
at least 5 monutes. We told him he hadn't done anything wrong, and tried 
to just calmly clean everything up.  Then we read an extra story, and
Brad (relatively) calmly went to sleep.

A few days later, after supper, Brad vomited again.  This time it wasn't
associated with a tantrum, or hysteria, or wanting attention, or anything
that I could see.  Again, we tried to be calm.  We did give him some
extra cuddling to try to make him feel better, because itt again visibly
upset him.

Last night, Brad didn't want to go to bed again.  After the normal 20
minute routine, he kept trying the "one more kiss" ploy.  With both
parents in the room, we kissed him and told him to stay in bed and tried
to leave.  After closing his door, having him bang on it crying and
going back to put him in bed about four times.  Then he vomited again,
though he hadn't been hysterical this time.  WEe tried to calmly clean
it up, rebrushed his teeth, reread the bedtime stories, and tried again.
Again, he cried when we tried to leave.  Since I didn't want him vomiting
again, this time I stayed.  He wanted me to lay on his bed with him,
and wouldnt't let me leave. (and wouldn't fall asleep). Eventually he
let me sit in the rocker in his room, but not leave the room.  At last
he fell asleep (two hours after his bedtime).

At four am, he woke up crying for me.  When I went in his room, he wanted
me to sit in the rocker again.  He wouldn't fall back asleep.  Eventually,
after I tried both laying down with him and sitting in the rocker for
over an hour, I just left to go back to bed.  Between his bedtime tantrum
and feeding the baby, I had only had about 2.5 hours of sleep) He started 
crying again, and Daddy got up, put him back in his bed, and told him 
Mommy was sleeping and so was everyone else.  Finally he stayed in bed 
and fell asleep. (This was about 5:15)

My questions:

- is the vomiting truly related to the tantrums, or should I take him
to the doctor to rule out other problems.

- Is this sibling rivalry showing it's ugly head?  The baby is so good,
and sleeps so much, that Brad reallydoes get most of my attention during
the day.

- WHAT CAN I DO!?!?  HELP!

Diane Segelhorst
Mom to Brad, almost 2, and Carrie, 5 weeks