HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: Story: choose the proper weapon for the job
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 16:27:41 GMT

(Donald R. Newcomb) writes:
(Dan Sorenson) writes:
>>Marines and squad members.  The 5.56 NATO round the M16 uses is just
>>not considered heavy enough for hunting elephants.
>
>based on the SS109, was not adopted by NATO until years after the Vietnam
>hunters in Africa was the 6.5 mm Dutch Manlicher. This round is about
>the same as the 6.5 Carcano or 6.5x54 Manlicher Schoneauer (sp?). The

Reprint from the Peevestown dispatch, Oct. 6, l992:

  Picture Peevestown, quietly baking in the afternoon sun, most peevesters
belly up to the bar in the peevestown saloon, exchanging tales of
flaming the s**t out of someone, when this incredible noise starts shaking
dust from the rafters.  Rushing outside, there appears on the horizon,
wafting through the heat waves like some wasteland mirage from a
spagetti western, this horrific machine.  Soon it roars up the dusty
street and the townfolk lower their AK47s and bazookas..."Hell, its
only Iowa Dan, the Combine Man back from a hunting trip."  The combine,
razor sharp thresher blades whirling, is completely covered by bloody
feathers and fur and festering chunks of rabbit and pheasant flesh and
guts.  Also noticeable amist the gore is a collection of severed
human heads impaled on spikes as hood ornaments.  A sign under this amusing
display reads "Liberals".  High up in the cabin cockpit where the
50 caliber machine gun is mounted, Iowa Dan appears, red eyes blazing.
Veins buldge on his forehead under his black bandana, choked and clogged
by the cholesterol and rancid harmones from the flesh ripped from furry
dead creatures.  His lower eyelids appear sown to his upper lip in a
permanent Rambo sneer.  "Where'd the Liberals go", he snarls at the assembled
crowd.  G.M., mayor of peevetown, makes his way to the front.  He points
west, "try Berkley".
  "Ah Ha", Dan screams and roars off.  As he disappears into a cloud of
dust and feathers, tracer fire from the 50 caliber machine gun sweeps
across a nearby field, blasting to chunks several deer which are soon
mowed to vapor by the whirring combine blades.
   Russ, Jeff and Geoff, again belly up to the bar, belting down Jenny's
special wiskey with a garnish of raw flesh, are mumbling.  "Wouldn't
mind blasting a few liberals today either, why should Dan have all the
fun."  "Come with me", Geoff says.  They procede outside to Geoff's
(technical jargon, technical jargon) jet fighter equipped with (technical
jargon, technical jargon) guns which shoot (technical jargon) bullets.
They roar off to bomb and straf San Francisco and Menlo Park.
   With all the Testosterone crazed major lunatics departed, the bunny
hugging, granola munchers seize control of Peevetown, immediately declaring
a holiday in honor of Ralf Nader, and commence a tofu lubricated drug and
sex orgy punctuated with M.L.King's speech screaching over loud speakers.

Reprinted without permission by Scott Park, who is not spokesman in
any way for the company he works for.

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: speed trap
Date: Tue, 06 Oct 92 18:54:39 GMT
Organization: Red Hot Weasels on a Big Ol' Stick

In article <ATAYLOR.92Oct5130419@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
>
>	ObPeeve: I couldn't picture this as possible, until I 
>	remembered that what used to be called "Frontage Road"
>	is now "North Telshor Blvd".
>
>	ObPeeveII: "Frontage Road" is so much better.

Peeve: Whenever I see a sign for Frontage Road I always read it as
       "Frottage Road."

d "aye, there's the rub" h
-- 
We've replaced the fine baby Jesus we normally use with Folgers crystals.
Let's see if they notice the difference.
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Cardboard, cardboard, everywhere!
Date: 5 Oct 92 15:53:17 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Oct3.150207.4778@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com 
(A. Jing Hippy) writes:

>Peeve: They put the "subscribe now" cards in the magazines that I receive
>in the mail, and thus am already subscribed to.  If they can produce 
>different versions of some magazines for different areas of the country,
>then they can damn sure produce them without the little cards for those
>of us who already subscribe.


What gets me is the way magazines will push you to renew your subscription
well in advance of the actual expiration date -- often just after you've
already renewed.  They seem to figure that a lot of people won't remember
when their subscriptions are due to expire, and don't know that the month
of expiration is on the mailing labels.  They're probably right about both,
but I pride myself on being in control of the details of my life.  They
won't fool me, no sirree Bob.

And if you start or renew a magazine subscription and check the "Bill Me
Later" box, it's utterly amazing how soon that bill arrives in your
mailbox.  I didn't know it was possible for mail to travel that quickly,
or for corporate wheels to turn so fast.

If you choose not to renew, of course, they pester you endlessly with
repeated mailings.  Sort of like a postal version of a KQED pledge drive.


Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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From: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Yech
Date: 5 Oct 92 13:37:26 GMT
Reply-To: Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford)
Organization: Penicuik People's Revolutionary Sheepdog Liberation Front

It peeves me something rotten when, for want of a more manly term, icky
things happen in rapid succession. To wit...

I head up to May's Snack Bar to get a flapjack to eat with my coffee. I
return to the office. I sit down, put some coffee in the cup and then I
notice It.

It, apparently, was rejected from the cast of Them for having a) too many
legs and b) being rather too large. It's a member of a species of spider
that's apparently exclusive to JCMB known as Bloody Enormous Spiders. It's
probably something to do with all those rooms with "Laser - Do Not Enter",
"Radioactivity In Use - Beware" and "Danger - Genetic Experimentation On
Giant Spiders" outside them.

Apparently, however, we'd already taken partial revenge (its crime -
existing) on the spider as I seemed to have trod on it as I came in the
door. What was lying on the floor looked like the arachnid equivalent of
roadkill. However, as Claudio and I watched, this octopedal behemoth began
to move forward inexorably, Terminator style. It appeared to have its
sights on my desk, we presume it planned to eat it.

Drastic action was called for, and Claudio, who claims to be rather less
squeamish than I about spiders (in my view they're OK as long as they're
not larger than a small Shetland pony, larger than that and I'm liable to
scream and stand on a chair) used his tea to put this beastie out of action
and dump it in the bin. Although we've been keeping an eye out for legs
coming over the edge of the bin, nothing has yet appeared.

So, the giant spider disposed of, I sat down to eat my flapjack. Unwrap it
and...it's green. Now May sells a fairly wide range of flapjack but while
they vary in many ways, one thing they all have in common is that none of
them are green and fuzzy.

I dunno, one minute it's giant spiders, the next it's mouldy flapjack.
Given that we already have Lurch on the cleaning staff here, the feeling
that I'm stuck in an episode of the Addams Family or The Munsters is
getting increasingly difficult to ignore.

--
		Not Al Crawford - Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk
      "Brothers, sisters, we don't need this fascist sheepdog thang"
From: jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Recipes for the New Depression
Summary: cheap to free
Keywords: deer season is almost here!
Date: 6 Oct 92 15:16:21 GMT
Organization: Dark Satanic Mills

In article <5lfp3q-@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
>In article <Bvp0KE.JKM@dcs.ed.ac.uk> Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Monsieur Not Al, Cordon Bleu Masterchef) writes:
>>In article <1992Oct06.005208.22550@CS.ORST.EDU> tim@physics.orst.edu writes:
>>>
>>> The group has been somewhat boring lately anyway, someone should post
>>> some recipes that actually work.  
>>
>>Speak, and it shall be done...
>>
>>Cheese On Toast
>>---------------
>
>Kraft(tm) Mac and Cheese
>--------------------
>
Casserole
-------------

A		B			C
rice		leftover chicken	potato chips
pasta		tuna fish		those canned "onion rings"	
cubed potatoes	cheese			bread crumbs
green beans	mushrooms		mashed up Wheaties
bulgur		peppers			mashed up crackers
spatleze	asparagus		pie crust, well pricked

Select one from column A and one or more from column B.  Mix with Cream 
of Mushroom Soup in a dish you can bake in.  Top with one from column C.
Bake for oh about 30 minutes in a 350 degree F oven.  You can microwave
Casserole, too.  Serve with lime Jello studded with tiny marshmallows, 
pineapple, and walnuts.

Jenny
"an art, not a science"
-- 
"Man without self-disipline is like a waggon hauled by refractory horses, where
driver does not keep hold of bridle at all." - H. Poropudas, Hanna-Maria's dad 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ChazL@county.lmt.mn.org (Chaz Larson)
Subject: While driving to work...
Keywords: grr
Reply-To: ChazL@county.lmt.mn.org (Chaz Larson)
Organization: LaserMaster Corporation
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 17:59:44 GMT


So I'm driving to work this morning, and I want to take this particular exit.  
A string of three cars gets on the freeway just before my target exit.  Two 
merge left, and the third wants to take the same exit I do, which is about 
1/2 mile ahead.  We're oriented like this, up being forward:

    [--------]  
    [        ]  |
    [        ]  |
    [   me   ]  |
    [        ]
    [        ]
    [--------]  |
                |
                | [--------]
                  [        ]
                  [        ]
                | [  fool  ]
                | [        ]
                | [        ]
                  [        ]
                  [--------]

Nearest car ahead of her is well onto the upcoming exit ramp, nearest behind 
her is about a mile back.  The distance between us is very short, as I can 
only see her left headlight in my wide-angle rear-view mirror.

Not wanting to be a jerk, i do not accelerate and cut her off so as to make 
my exit, but instead I signal right and brake slightly, so that she will pass 
me and I can slip in behind her.

Does she figure this out?  No.  As I decelerate, she keeps pace with me, 
apparently meaning to let me in but never allowing me enough room to do so.  
When at the last possible moment I decide not to take the chance of colliding 
with her and forgo the exit, she gesticulates wildly, apparently stunned that 
I failed to take advantage of her politeness.

Oooo, BDI behind the wheel.  Why in the world would I slow down, unless I 
wanted her to pass me?  Unfortunately, I had a car coming up fast behind me, 
and could not simply hit the brakes and force her to pass me.

chaz


..must think...bubble pipe will relax me and I think...
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: Commercials-on-the-brain
Keywords: plop plop fizz fizz
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 02:18:11 GMT

In article <1992Oct2.172758.15374@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>	Would you like him killed via bullet or combine?  There's a nifty
>John Deer 6600 sidehill combine over at the agricultural engineering lab.
>All access panels have been replaced with plexiglass so that students
>may view the operation of stripping seeds from plants all the way through
>the machine, and then gaze in wonderment at the many knives whirling in
>the chopper (which ejects confetti, sort of an industrial-grade mulcher)
>before the remains spray far and wide behind the bellering beast.
>	Hmmmm....  Now to think of a way to lure the vict^H^H^H^H test
>volunteer into the corn head, and the proper placement of video cameras.

america's funniest home videos! could be a winner!

peeve: home video shows.

-l "clunk" p
-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: corporate slime
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 92 14:41:34 GMT

In <122860044@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> reykja@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Reykja Sigurdsson) writes:

 
>> And, perhaps the scene I enjoyed the most in the sequel was a short, terse
>> exchange between the film maker and Pat Buchanan.

>> "Larry Bob" Evil Cowboy Engineer says: check 'em out, peevers!

>          I am going to see the movie just for that!!

Buchanan wins it in my book.  Buchanan is a master debater (tee hee) and an
outstanding orator, too, no matter what else one might think of him.

>          The classic in terms of showing the corporate slime for 
>what they *really* are is still "Norma Rae", IMO...

What about the greedy worker slime and the greedy labor union slime?

That's one thing I noticed about "Roger & Me" is that all sorts of
negative words and imagery was cast about the evil GM leadership
and management.  Is the guy that made the film really that clueless?
(I hate using the "c" word anymore.)

Management serves the corporate or business best interests and the
labor union serves the workers' best interests.  Throughout that
entire movie I never heard anyone blame the auto workers' union for
not looking out for their members "from cradle to grave."  Instead
it was a one-sided little diatribe about how the company (in spite
of its tremendous loss of market share), heaven forbid!, wanted to
make a profit and not throw money down the toilet!  Honey, hide
the children!  It's another evil corporation!

Maybe the workers would have been happier had the entire GM corporation
gone out of business.  And did all of them have the smarts to save the
excessive wages they were making?  Not from the looks of some of the
sad little folk we saw.  Great Studded Handbags of Athena!

So, I ask, why isn't the auto workers' union taking care of all of those
people?  What happened to all those union dues that the members had
paid over the years?  Maybe it went toward stuffing some fat-cats at
the top or toward frivolous expenditures elsewhere?  Why isn't it back
paying rent for those ne'er-do-wells that we saw?  Or buying them another
fishing boat or Cadillac?

Peeve:  One-sided attacks against "evil corporations."  You know, the
        ones that conveniently forget or gloss-over the failures and
        shortcomings of the corrupt labor unions.

Labor unions serve the worker, corporate management serves the corporation.
Got a problem with that?
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: speed trap
Date: 6 Oct 92 18:29:16 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Distribution: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Oct5.185932.11958@access.usask.ca> nesdoly@dvinci.USask.Ca 
(Mark Nesdoly) writes:

>Yesterday, Toronto city cops decided to not issue speeding and seatbelt 
>tickets because the provincial government is trying to force them to fill out
>a full report every time they draw their weapons.  

One wonders why they'd draw their weapons anyway, if all they were doing
was stopping someone for speeding or a seatbelt violation.  Gee, talk about
a tough town!  I'd hate to be stopped back there for something really serious,
like jaywalking.

("JAYwalking," geddit?  "Toronto?"  "Jaywalking?"  HAHAHAHAHA!  I *kill* me
sometimes!  And the funny thing is, I hate baseball.)


>Peeve:  I will not be in Toronto to take advantage of this lapse in the law.

So find something else closer to home.  Are there any vice laws involving
wheat?


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Human sheep
Date: 30 Sep 1992 04:14:07 GMT
Organization: U. C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: headcrash.berkeley.edu

No, this isn't the product of the typical Newfie sexual union, this is the
product of the Volvo-and-headlight generation.  I just saw a spot on the
tube the theme (and slogan) of which was "It's cool to follow the rules"
or some such nonsense.  The most insidious thing about it is the fact that 
there are all these kids (5 years old or so) who are mouthing these afraid
of the world PTA sponsors of the commercial.  One little boy tells us that
it's important to do what your told.  I'm going to be ill.

Why doesn't someone tell these kids that there will be plenty of time to 
submit their individuality and will to that of a warped, frustrated, retarded
and drooling bureaucrat and that this is the time during which not only
should they revel in the fact that their super-ego is not yet fully developed,
but that the world doesn't really have a claim on them?  Why not tell them
that they can do what they want now because not only will they be relatively
free of pangs of conscience, but they can't really be touched by the law or
by the economic punishment brought about by disapproving peers? 

"No, we couldn't do that!  Someone might get hurt!"  Fuckers.

If I had the money, I'd like to run a series of ads myself:
"Rules?  They're for other people!"  or "Says who?" or
"Back off, you busybody douchebag!"


Matthew J. Henken :-{<How about just "Fuck off"?>]
henken@ocf.berkeley.edu
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: School is Back in Session ( Was Re: Rewriting History
Date: 30 Sep 92 20:37:36 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Hither, Thither, Yon and Horsechrappe
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com

In article <1992Sep30.152314.7793@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu 
(Dan Sorenson) writes:

>	About 175hp, something like 400ft/lbs of torque.  The rollers
>in the corn head spin at several thousand RPM, so if you attempt to
>place a 3 foot long strip of cardboard in there your hand will be
>pulled in before you can release the cardboard.  It's an effective
>demonstration in farm safety.  

A USCG air station once held a demonstraton in flightline safety which
involved tossing a head of cabbage through the spinning propeller of a
C-130.  The cabbage, unclear on the concept, passed through unscathed 
until the fourth try.


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
	"The President scores much better than Bill Clinton."
                        -- Dan Quayle, comparing the candidates on the
                           marital infidelity issue
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From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Death peeve
Date: 26 Sep 1992 06:45:44 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

In article <1992Sep22.163853.7689@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>Peeve #4) Every time I TELL them, and mention he was driving at the time, they
>ask: "Was alcohol involved?" That's a really atctless question, if you ask me.

Well?  Don't leave us hanging, son.  Was alcohol involved?

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Janis Joplin (was Re: credit card peeve)
Date: 30 Sep 1992 03:13:43 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: wpi.wpi.edu

In article <92273.181405JKH107@psuvm.psu.edu> JKH107@psuvm.psu.edu (Joy Haftel) writes:
>
>Peeve:  I can't remember whether Janis Joplin did a cut of "Me and Bobby
>McGee"  or not; all I can figure out was that just about everyone sang
>it.  I even inadvertently heard Waylon Jennings doing it when flipping
>through channels when a country music show was on.

She did and it was her most sucessful song ever - her only #1 hit in
America (a posthumous #1 hit, for that matter - sometime in 1971).
For what it's worth, Kris Kristofferson wrote the song.

Peter!

(I haven't sung it yet)

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: *Virtual* Reality
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 22:38:50 GMT

In article <1992Sep27.212224.7776@cs.yale.edu> yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin) writes:

>
>Newton was _not_ a philosopher.  He was a physicist.  Of the rest of your
>list of people I know little.
>

Let's see.  The other people I mentioned were Bertrand Russell, who co-authored
Prinicipia Mathematica, Baron von Leibniz, who developed Calculus, independ-
ently of Newton, and whose work is the basis of Integral Calculus, Rene
Descartes, whose Cartesian geometry was influential in the development of
vector analysis, and Euclid, who wrote the Elements of Geometry.  I had assumed
that you were studying math, and therefore these names would be familiar to
you.  Forgive me for overestimating your field of knowledge.

Incidentally, Newton considered himself a philosopher as well as a scientist.
He studied philosophy before he ever go interested in math, reading all
of Platos dialogs before the age of 11.

Plato was a Greek philosopher.  He studied under Socrates, who questioned the
existence of the Gods and was therefore condemned to death by hemlock.  Plato's
dialogs are based on Socrates' teachings and are the basis for much of Western
thought.  Just in case you never heard of Plato.....

As I said, Newton developed the calculus in response to Leibniz' attacks
on Newton's world view.  Unfortunatesly, I don't have access to much of
my library right now, but if you need further proof of Newton's status
as a philosopher, let me know and I"ll provide it.  Or you can use the
libarary.  A library is a big building full of books that anyone can
use.  I'm sure they have an encyclopedia.  An encyclopedia is a set of 
books that gives you all sorts of information on various people, places,
and things.  You may have seen them advertized on TV.

>> We all have personal philosophies - even you, Norman.
>
>"If I am to go through life with a set of fixed principles, it seems to me
>rather like traveling a winding forest trail with a long pole in my mouth."
>  - Bismarck
>

Nobody ever said a personal philosophy has to be fixed.  Maybe your confusion
in this area has to do with the fact that you don't know what philosophy is.
If you believe that philosophy is a set of fixed priniciples, I can see why
you would have no respect for it.  

You might want to try learning a little bit about it.  Not only is it a fairly
interesting subject, but you'll be able to argue about it more intelligently.

Jenny
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves