From: moh2@quads.uchicago.edu (Kateri/Mary Anne)
Subject: Re: SEX
Reply-To: moh2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 22:13:30 GMT

In article <1egoa5INN89t@menudo.uh.edu> mba2@Rosie.UH.EDU writes:

Puneet, I'm sorry I took so long to respond to this, but something
interesting happened.  I found myself *afraid* to answer these
questions honestly in this newsgroup...despite the fact that I've
spoken freely on the same subject in other newsgroups.  Despite the
fact that I will probably never meet any of you, and you will no doubt
forget my name a few weeks after I stop posting.  Amazing how strong
an influence cultural pressure and our own conditioned expectations
can have on our lives.

On to the questions...

>1.	Is sex before marraige right/wrong?

I don't believe in absolute rights or wrongs.  If it makes you
uncomfortable, or conflicts with religious beliefs, it may be wrong
for you.  If you don't practice safe sex, it's at least stupid.

>	If it is wrong, Why?

Can be religious, moral, ethical, comfort, etc...
Lots of reasons.
Just don't impose your reasons on anybody else.

>2.	If sex is wrong, is it wrong for guys and gals?

Aha...that old double standard....need you ask my answer?
Although women do have to be more careful, in some sense, in that
society is more likely to hold them responsible for their actions...
I've seen guys run away from a pregnant girlfriend...it's little more
complicated for the woman involved.
Not that guys shouldn't be careful...just that they don't often have
it forced on them.

>	If only wrong for one, why not the other? Hypocricy?

Yes.  Blatant and utter hypocrisy.

>3.	Why would you have /not have sex before marraige?

Reasons for:
	You love somebody and want to share something special with
	them.
	You're unbelievably horny, and don't really have any reason
	not to.
	You get pressured into it.
	Variations on the above.
Reasons against:
	Religious sanctions
	Societal pressure
	Parental disapproval
	Possible condemnation by future spouse (arranged or not)
	Personal discomfort or ethical beliefs.

>4.	What is Sex?  Is sex the phyical act of fucking or the
>	act of making love?  Is one right before marraige and
>	the other not?

Sex:  "The activity or phenomena of life concerned with sexual desire
or reproduction" (Funk & Wagnalls totally inadequate, not to mention
circular definition)

I'm not sure what you mean by 'fucking'.  Just intercourse?  Or
non-romantic sexual activity?  You're unclear here.

I'm afraid that if you disallow intercourse before marriage, calling
it 'making love', however much love there may be, doesn't change the
facts.

>5.	Is there dishonor in sex before marraige?  Why?

Depends on a person's beliefs.
If you've been raised to believe that sex before marriage is
shameful/sinful, you'll probably feel dishonored.

>6.	Do you care if the person you marry is /is not a virgin?

No.

>7.	Would you marry a "slut"?  Why? Why Not?  What is a slut?
>	Someone who has slept with someone else before maraige or
>	someone who sleeps with many people or someone who fucks
>	many people?

Yes, assuming they had practiced safe sex.  You have to keep in mind
that the more people one has unprotected sex with, the greater risk
for STD's (sexually transmitted diseases) to be transmitted.
Virginal non-drug-users who haven't had blood transplants are probably
your safest bet.

*****
A couple more questions.  Everything so far seems to be directed at
standard heterosexual monogamous relations.

How do you feel about:

8. Homosexuals? (sex with someone of the same sex)

	8a.  Do lesbians bother you more than homosexuals?
		The other way around?  Why, if so?

9. Bisexuals? (people who sleep with members of both sexes)

10. Polyamory? (simultaneous relationship with more than one person)

11. Sadism? (sexual arousal by means of inflicting pain)

12. Masochism? (sexual arousal by mean of being hurt)

*****

That's probably intense enough for now....you can always go take the
500 question purity test for more ideas...:-)

 - Amirthi

P.S. - I still can't believe how hard it was to answer those questions
on this group.

-- 
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads.  One
path leads to despair and utter hopelessness.  The other to total
extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
						 - Woody Allen
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian,soc.culture.indian