From: cooper@kdx200.enet.dec.com ()
Subject:  Story - "So THATS why they call it Enduro" (Long)
Reply-To: cooper@kdx200.enet.dec.com ()
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 16:35:08 GMT


Here's a story that I wrote when I first moved to Colorado - Those in the RMEC
may have seen it in "The Circuit".  Check it out.

                      "So That's Why They Call It Enduro"

                 (The adventures of a beginner Enduro Rider)

                                By Jeff Cooper

After viewing the SuperCross at Penrose Stadium Saturday I was pretty pumped up
about going out on the ride planned for Sunday...Craig Brown, Jack Kellogg,
Scott LeDoux and Jim Gohde and I headed up to Divide, CO to ride  the proposed
A/B loop of the Pikes Peak Enduro; the plan was to help Craig get mileages to
legitimize his odometer...  I think the powers that be had another idea (which
was to "get that guy on the '89 KDX").

See, I don't know much about Enduro.  I thought maybe Enduros were just a long
trail ride for washed up old MX'ers like me.  Ya know, average speed was 24 MPH
- Hey! That's pretty slow !  I'd been trail riding since I was a young pup, and
figured I could handle it...  I plan on riding the "C" class at this years
Pikes Peak Enduro.  For those of you who don't know what C class is, it's like
"Novice" in MX, ya know - BEGINNER !  At least I thought so until this weekends
ride.  After this ride, I've decided "C" class is for bone heads like me who 
underestimate the pain one feels after dragging his motorcycle up the face of
a moss, crushed_granite, and slime covered boulder.  The dragging proceeded 
after I:

A)  Crashed a zillion times...
B)  Launched my bike at Jim AND Scott (Think fast dudes !)...
C)  Lay on the ground for ten minutes waiting for my heart to explode...

See, for the first 15 miles, everything was going GREAT!  The trails were
moderate, the speed fast etc...  We stopped for a break and I boasted that
maybe I'd ride the "B" class instead of the "C"...  I mean the entry fee for
the Enduro is $30, I should get my moneys worth.  Craig (with a wink) says that
we hadn't come to the challenging stuff yet.  Perhaps I should've listened to
"Adrenalin Man" screaming in the pit of my stomach when he said that, and
headed back to the truck then...But Nooooooo...

We took off down through Hacketts Gulch (this is where I learned a few weeks
prior that '89 KDX200's hadn't learned to swim yet).  Instead of trying 
the swim again this time, we followed the river through the valley to Long Water
Gulch.  Now, keep in mind that I'm starting to get cocky at this point - I'm
smiling, happily bouncing off the trees, riding through bushes, crashing 
through the mud puddles (Ya know, If you come back too clean nobody will 
think you've been riding!).

We take a sharp left up a pretty steep hill.  Okay, maybe it wasn't too steep,
but the trail is infested with rocks, roots, and ruts from everyone else.
On top of that, we were at approx 11K feet and my bike was starting to sputter 
(I'd guessed I needed a richer pilot jet)...I followed the main trail and 
immediately lost traction after hitting a few of those roots...

Rule #1 - Jet your bike.  A sputtering power band on a peaky engine is
          no laughing matter...  :)

Rule #2 - Don't EVER underestimate the pleasure of T-O-R-Q-U-E !

I decided quickly that I'd best save face, and start from the bottom again.
After I got myself turned around, I kicked the starter pedal with the 
conviction of a sailor hitting a liberty port for the first time in 13 months.

Trouble was, I was standing on the side of a hill and managed to drive the
top of my foot into the foot peg of my bike when I kicked.  Pain registers 
quickly when your tired.  And those of you who think a 220 pound bike is light,
probably have never had to hoist the rear wheel out of a "swingarm deep" hole
while standing on a 40 degree hill.  Anyhow, after the pain registered in my
brain, I was about to yell some string of expletives that only a well trained
veteran of six years of US Navy life can compile on short notice.
  
Unfortunately, I'd already started rolling down the hill and was headed for a
hole.  The front wheel hit the hole and high sided.  

Rule #3 - When your bike highsides, LET GO !

I didn't.  I quickly did a somersault and landed on my head.  I got up, spit
out the dirt and managed to get to the bottom of the hill.  This time I gassed
it hard, held my "way_too_cool" Fox crossbar pad in my chest.  I made it this
time...  the trail looked pretty clear up ahead, so I paused to catch my breath.
Boy those smokes don't do a BIT of good at this altitude !!  My ego was still
pretty much unscathed at this point, so I took off up the trail.

Not 10 more feet up did I see a really good sized log in the way.  Well, I'll
just go around it I think.

Rule #4 - Stay on the damn trail !

See, I didn't think of "Rule #4" until my tires tried to grip the crushed
granite loam on the side of this hill - It was very soft and I quickly found
myself down (again!) in a little gully.  Scott was up on the trail hollering to 
see if I was okay - I was (except for my slightly bruised ego)...After lifting
and grunting for 5 minutes or so, Scott came down and helped me get my bike
turned around so I could get a running start at the hill and get BACK on the
trail I should've stayed on in the first place.

Scott took off, and I managed to get back up on the trail only to find that it
led to the large granite boulder that I mentioned earlier.  Maybe I should tell
you about it again...  No, maybe I'll just say that the approach to the rock
had a pair of trees about 3 feet apart, and had a very dirty Husky 250
(complete with very dirty and as_tired_as_me looking rider) quickly producing 
a knobby-less knobby.  There was room though, and I figured I'd make it;  I
gassed it hard.  Scott saw me coming and moved a bit so I wouldn't run him 
over.  I think he noticed the crazed look in my be-goggled eyes, as his eyes
widened.  As I approached I yelled "I'll be back in a sec" (foolishly thinking
that I'd make the hill that a properly jetted, properly geared Husky failed to
make - then I could walk back down and help him up!).  Boy was I wrong.  I hit
a root with my front wheel as my back wheel found a LOT of traction.  "Here
Scott, CATCH !" I thought as the bike launched from beneath me.  He DID catch
it too.  The poor bike sat there happily sputtering on top of Scott.  (I
actually thought the bike was enjoying this - it seemed to be laughing at
me...).

Rule #5 - Don't try to catch a flying motorcycle - It's bound to hurt.
Rule #6 - When someone offers to help, TAKE IT !

By now Craig, Jim and Jack (already over this "obstacle") were making their way
down on foot to help us out.  About an hour later we finally made it up the
rock.  Not much riding though... A lot of grunting, sweating and walking the
bikes FINALLY got us up on the trail again.  Boy was I bushed now.  We got to 
a small clearing (that I crashed into when I arrived) and decided to break 
for a few.  After stripping off my upper body armor, I crashed to the ground 
and caught my breath.  We'd covered at least half a mile in the past hour and a
half.

Craig tells us with a grin that this is one of those 24mph sections.  My eyes 
glazed.  Visions of Larry Roesller and Kevin Hines flying by my sweating body 
and thoroughly stuck bike leaped to mind - Brrrrr...Sobering thought.  As we 
got dressed again, I started to feel better.  The trail lightened up 
considerably, a little (just a little) of my fractured pride came seeping back.

At the next break, Craig said with a smile that he hoped we liked rocks (I HATE
rocks!). Around the next corner I saw why.  The trail led into what I thought
might be what was left of a quarry of some kind.  The trail was covered with
basket ball sized stones.  I was very happy that I had a kidney belt.  Even
with it, I was still shaken up quite a bit inside.  After the rocks, came the
trail blazing.  I think this is about the time we lost Scott.  Actually, I
heard rumblings of conspiracy...See, maybe (just maybe) I *paid* Scott to go
hide out for a while so I could deflate my arms (forearm pump was BAD by now). 

Craig  asked how much further we wanted to go.  I was pretty *beat up* so I
suggested that we take the round-about route back to the trucks.
What we did was go down a pair or trails called "Long Rock Trail" and
"Little Rock" (I dunno - I just know there were TONS of rocks - Boy I hate
rocks!  Have I made that clear Craig ??   

It was probably ten miles back to the trucks, when I took the best fall
of the day.  I was riding third in the group and was cruising pretty slowly.
The forearm pump was getting beyond the limits as I started down the 
rock infested (gawd I hate rocks!) grade...  

Rule #7 - When you've had enough, QUIT !  Don't be an idiot !

Ever have one of those days ?  I knew it was time to quit.  I was getting tired
to the point of not being able to hold my handlebars any more.  I felt like
someone was slicing my forearms with a razor blade...  Right outta the blue
this rock reaches for my handle bars and wacks 'em into the lock.  I performed 
the perfect pirouette on my throttle grip and hit the ground HARD with my 
shoulder and elbow.  I felt shooters go from my shoulder to my finger tips.  I 
thought immediately I'd dislocated my shoulder (again!).  When I thought to 
look up, I saw my KDX (grinning wildly), and in slow motion watched the bike 
land on my leg (foot peg to the upper thigh, handlebar to the rips - nice 
touch eh ??).  Next I heard the now familiar "Hey Jeff, you okay man ??".  
I couldn't answer this time though.  Too pooped.

The rest of the ride was pretty unevently as I KNEW that if I rode at ANY kind
of speed, I'd die a horrible death in the Rocky Mountain rocks, ruts, hills
and gravel.  My thigh was tightening up badly enough so that standing on the
pegs was out of the question.

So, think about it; What would be the last stretch before we hit the main
fire-road back to the trucks ??  How about a nice rocky down hill ?  Hmmm ?
Would you like that ?  I thought you would...  Have I told you how much I 
hate rocks ??

When I saw it, I knew I was in trouble.  I should've just bailed off and let the
sufferin' KDX take the hill by itself, but I still had some semblance on
pride;  I went for it.  I almost made it too.  With about 30 feet left to go,
ANOTHER rock (damn things) reached out and grabbed my handlebars away from my 
failing hands and steered me into a 3" tree.  Porked that puppy dead-center
with my front tire - what a save !  Whew. Not such a biggie.  I'll just pull 
it out, and roll around it to safety. NO SUCH LUCK !

From the little tree I managed to firmly jam my cases between a large stump and
another tree.  The engine died and my frazzled gaze cast down the hill (to the 
bottom) where the others sat (I just KNOW they were chuckling) waving to me.
After struggling for a while (and with some help from Jack) we managed to 
get me rolling once again.

Once we hit the fire road, good ole mother nature lit off with a nice cold
drizzle that numbed me to the bone.  But, that was it !  I finally saw the
trucks at the end of the road and just NEW nothing else could go wrong.
I wobbled off the bike (and even remembered the sidestand!), scarfed up a cold
brew and downed it in about three gulps, and had a little nip of some bacardi 
(thanks Jim!).  Craig loaded  up my bike for me and an hour later I was stewing 
in my hot tub with a tummy full of Capt. Crunch (figures right), and sipping
a cold Bud.

So, a quick review:

Rule #1 - Jet your bike.  A sputtering power band on a peaky engine is
          no laughing matter...

Rule #2 - Don't EVER underestimate the pleasure of T-O-R-Q-U-E !

Rule #3 - When your bike highsides, LET GO !

Rule #4 - Stay on the damn trail !

Rule #5 - Don't try to catch a flying motorcycle - It's bound to hurt.

Rule #6 - When someone offers to help, TAKE IT !

Rule #7 - When you've had enough, QUIT !  Don't be an idiot !

And a couple of others that may have helped me avoid a bad day
(perhaps they should be rules 1 and 2!):

Rule #1 - Never stay up until 1:30am wrenching your bike the night before
          a big ride!!

Rule #2 - Eat SOMETHING before you go out.  The 5 cups of coffee didn't stick
          to my ribs to well...

And a couple of other thoughts.  Stay local on a new bike - Make sure you have 
it set up for where you're going to ride.  My bike was geared WAY to tall.
Jet it right !  Thing was sputtering away what little midrange power I had
to begin with, and do your forks up RIGHT.  Rocks and soft (bottoming) forks 
won't make a rock lover out of me ! (No kiddin' Jeff !  Really ??)

Now, I've been limping around work today making up horrendous stories
about how I jumped Niagara Falls to get these bruises, just what do you think 
I've been thinking about ?  You got it:  When are we going riding again !
What a sport to love, eh ??

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                    Jeff Cooper - Cooper@KDX200.enet.dec.com
          Digital Equipment Corporation - Colorado Springs, Colorado

                            Thats *DOCTOR* KDX200"
                                   To YOU!!

President - DIGITAL Equipment Corp. Trail Riders Assn. (DECtrail)
Member -    Rocky Mountain Enduro Circuit - AMA - MIDI Rack Puke

       No one cares about my stupid views and opinions, so why bother??
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