From: jpak@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Jim Pak)
Subject: Empathy again (was Re: Disposable Posters of Hypocrisy)
Reply-To: jpak@manute.sps.mot.com
Organization: Motorola Inc.  Austin, Tx.
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 00:38:28 GMT

I have a feeling I'm in Lui's kill file, so the way he waxes on about me
while not reading my stuff is about the equivalent of talking about someone
within his earshot while wearing earplugs.  :-)  But I may be wrong, so let
me try, anyway.

In article <1992Aug12.062725.8780@midway.uchicago.edu> sieh@quads.uchicago.edu (Twinkie Chinkie) writes:
>[empathy: n. 2: the action of understanding the feelings, thoughts, and
>experience of another of either the past or present without having the
>feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively 
>explicit manner, _also_: the capacity for this.
>Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, 1987]

Sigh.  Why do so many in this newsgroup whip out the dictionary all the
time?  As if we all don't know what empathy means already.  OK, I'll accept
this as a valid source, but...

Show me where it says "empathy" == "the ability to FULLY understand something
which you've never personally experienced."

Where does it say "fully" above?

Tell me, if someone told you how wonderful Hawaii is and how you should
definitely move there, and you asked him/her, "When did you live there?",
and that person said, "I've never lived there.  I've never even been there
once but I've heard it was nice," do you put as much weight on their words
as you do with someone who's actually lived there?

Is that person an "expert" on the "Hawaiian experience"?

Uh huh.

If someone said, "Well, I've never been to Hawaii, but I've been to Jamaica,
and hey, both are tropical resorts and thus I think my experience in Jamaica
helps me to understand what Hawaii would be like," does that really help?
If I wanted to know what's it like to live in New York City, why the heck
would I listen to someone who only lived in LA?  Or vice versa?

How about if some guy told you how great sex was, and you found out later
he was a virgin?  What do you think of his opinion then?  "But I tell you,
it really *looked* good in the last triple-X feature I saw."  Ha ha ha...

If somebody told you, "Lui, try bungee jumping, I know it's kind of scary,
but it's really exhilirating and thrilling," and you asked him when he/she
did it and he/she said, "Never," what pops into your mind?  I know what
pops into mine.

Sorry, but I'll put a lot more weight on the views of the person who (1)
Actually lived in Hawaii, (2) Had sex at least 20,000 times before (Hi Wilt!
:-) ), and (3) Tried bungee jumping at least once.  And if somebody's who
never done it tries to come off as an "expert" on the "bungee jumping
experience," I tune out immediately.  Hey, that person can let me know what
he/she's heard from others, I *might* learn something, but that person is
most certainly *NOT* an expert!

Did I make my point clear?  If I want to find out something about the
"Asian American experience," I know exactly which group of people I'd go to.
And if I wanted to know about the "White experience," same thing.  Hey,
various people who go to Hawaii may have different opinions about it, but
I'll tell you, I'll put a lot more weight on the opinions of somebody like,
say, Disco Junkie than, say, Jim Pak.

Jim
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american