From: exuptr@exu.ericsson.se (Sunbird a la 400ci)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Flirting How To Guide
Date: 23 Jan 93 22:54:25 GMT
Distribution: soc
Organization: Ericsson Network Systems, Inc.
X-Disclaimer: This article was posted by a user at Ericsson.
              Any opinions expressed are strictly those of the
              user and not necessarily those of Ericsson.

In article <MARTINC.93Jan19105513@grover.cs.unc.edu> martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>From: martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
>Subject: Flirting How To Guide
>Date: 19 Jan 93 16:55:13 GMT

>Okay folks, this may sound like I'm joking but this came up in therapy
>yesterday and now I'm interested in what thoughts other people have.

>As long-time readers of soc.singles will recall, I've been separated
>from my wife for about 18 months [by the way, the divorce was final just
>before Xmas] and I've actually been dating pretty heavily since then.
>At least by my standards compared to my pre-marriage Nice Guy
>experience.

>I've also noticed that unlike back when I was younger, I seem to have
>some trouble indicating that I'm interested in, ahem, a *physical*
>relationship.  

>I suspect that after years of 

>(a) having it convincingly demonstrated by my ex that she didn't find me
>    physically desirable, and

>(b) hearing about date rape and sexual harassment (and my experience of
>    being called on the s.h. carpet myself for what I persist in
>    thinking was a completely innocent remark) and so on

>that I'm first of all more than a little shy about taking the chance of
>being rejected, and secondly don't know quite what is acceptable during
>a date any more.


>Now, back in the mid-70's it was easy.  You took a woman out on a first
>date, she asked you in afterward, and if you didn't put out on the first
>date she found some other guy.

>Back in high school, there was this little ritual: you took her to a
>movie, you tried holding her hand.  Then you kissed her goodnight.  Next
>date you kissed goodnight with a little more intensity, and maybe tried
>to run your hand down on her tush, but were rebuffed.  After two or
>three more dates you were actually allowed to touch her breasts, at
>which point you were going steady, and things progressed more or less
>steadily depending on whether she knew where the Planned Parenthood
>office was already or had to find out.

>But you know, the one thing I don't have much experience with is an
>"adult" relationship.  What I want to know is how grown-ups do it.

I'd say sneak the babe an "innocent" kiss.  What I mean is, catch her 
offguard and kiss her.  But don't come on very strong.  What you want to be 
is playful and light, with just a *hint* of passion.  

You will find out then wht the score is.  Even if she doesn't like you much, 
if you keep it playful and light and non-threatening you will not get 
slapped or something similar.  My 2 cents.
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