HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request, mother-in-law jokes
Date: 13 Sep 92 18:26:35 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

>       I would like to have some mother-in-law jokes.
>       Answer by mail or post a follow-up. I will try to compile a list.

You know, my mother-in law's birthday was coming up, and I know that she likes
furniture, so I went out and spent $50,000 on a chair for hoe. Now she won't
even plug it in!

What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a bucket of sh*t?
    -The bucket

I probably have some more, this is all I can think of right now.

    -Terry Auspitz (tma4@Lehigh.EDU)

    All opinions are mine; who else would want them?
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: usenet@inesc.pt (USENET News System)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Keywords: n
Reply-To: jota@iguana.UUCP (Joao Pedro Martins)
Organization: INESC - Inst. Eng. Sistemas e Computadores, LISBOA, PORTUGAL.
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 16:28:16 GMT

In article <1992Sep11.183543.15676@hou.amoco.com> zcjm0f@wwnv42.uucp (CJohn Mace) writes:
>>>	In case u don't have enough culture, Portugal is that small country
>>>next to Spain, not a region in the USA. 
>>
>maybe we should have let the Germans win the war...  then at least we 
>wouldn't have to listen to this crap...  :-)

 "crap" ? Ok. I suppose the USA are the most wonderfull country in 
the world, uh, and that all the other countries, by being small, 
should simply not exist ? Or maybe we should get them together with
other small countries ? Or maybe it would be easier to nuke them
and then plant flowers or macdonalds there ?

----
 joao Pedro Martins, Lisboa, Portugal - jota@tutor.UUCP
 
 "Carpe Diem, she muttered, and laughed. We seize the day.	
  Well, sometimes, the day seizes back !" (Psychodrome)
From: ean@gvls2.gvl.unisys.com (Ed Naratil)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Lydia the Tatooed Lady
Date: 5 Sep 92 01:26:38 GMT
Organization: Paramax Systems Corp., Valley Forge Labs, Paoli, PA


                         Lydia, The Tattooed Lady


Words by E. Y. Garburg                  Copyright 1939 by Leo Feist, Inc
Music by Harold Arlen                   All Rights Controlled and Administered
                                        by CBS Feist Catalog, Inc.

            As sung by Groucho Marx in "At the Circus" (1939)

Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia, 
Oh! Lydia The Tatooed Lady,
She has eyes that folks adore so.  
And a toso even more so.
Lydia, oh! Lydia, that "Encyclopedia", 
Oh! Lydia, the Queen of tatoo.

On her back is the Battle of Waterloo, 
beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus too.
And proudly above waves the Red, White and Blue, 
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

She can give you a view of the world in tattoo 
if you step up and tell her where
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree,
or Washington crossing the Delaware.

Oh, Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Oh! Lydia, The Tatooed Lady;
When her muscles start relaxin'
Up the hill comes Andrew Jackson.

Lydia, oh! Lydia, that "Encyclopedia"
Oh! Lydia, the champ of them all.
For two bits she will do a Mazurka in Jazz,
With a view of Niag'ra that no artist has,
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz,
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la La-la-La

Come along and see Buff'lo Bill with his lasso,
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso;
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon,
And Godiva, but with her pajamas on.

La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la La-la-La
 
Here is Grover Whalen unveilin' the Trylon,
Over on the west coast we have Treasure Islan',
Here's Nijinsky a doin' the Rhumba,
Here's her Social Security numba.

La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la La-la-La

Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Oh! Lydia, the champ of them all.
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet,
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat,
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet
For he went and married Lydia.
From: rolleston_c@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz (Chris Rolleston)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Red Ferrari
Date: 15 Sep 92 01:02:27 GMT
Reply-To: rolleston_c@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz
Organization: Wellington City Council, Wgtn, NZ
NNTP-Posting-Host: kosmos.wcc.govt.nz


 
An elephant was wandering through the jungle one day when he
heard squealing noises coming from a well-known quicksand pit. So
he rushed over to the pit and in the pit he saw a mouse who was
caught in the quicksand and who was shouting: "Help! Help! Save
me!"
 
The elephant responded: "Hang on Mr Mouse, I'll save you!" and he
threw his enormous penis out to the mouse and said, "Grab on, Mr
Mouse, I'll drag you out" and so he dragged the mouse out of the
quicksand and saved his life, for which the mouse was very
grateful and said, "If ever you are in trouble, I'll help you!"
the elephant nodded disbelievingly and wandered off again.
 
Many months later, the mouse was strolling through the jungle
when he heard a very loud, deep, shouting coming from a quicksand
pit.  So he ran over to the pit and in it he saw the elephant
drowning in the quicksand shouting: "Help! Help! Save me!"
the mouse yelled out to the elephant: "Hang on Mr Elephant! I'll
save you!" and he scuttled off into the bushes. A few seconds
later, with an almighty roar, a beautiful red Ferrari came
screaming to a halt in the clearing and the mouse jumped out from
behind the driver's seat, tied a rope to the Ferrari and through
the other end of the rope to the elephant and dragged him out of
the quicksand.
 
The moral of the story is that if you have a red Ferrari, you
don't need a big penis.

 _
(_)o
/\  \ Help!  I've been stuck in here for years and years...
From: cobra@jab.tucson.az.us (Cobra)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Jokes to offend almost everybody (repost, these aren't my jokes)
Date: Sun, 06 Sep 92 20:25:23 PDT
Organization: Just Another Bbs. Tucson, AZ


 
 
Question that was stolen from "Idiot's Pursuit":
 
 
Q. What is the traditional morning greeting of the average American?
 
Q. What is the most popular racial epithet in the United States?
 
Q. How do U.S. Congressmen privately categorize their constituents?
 
Q. Name the chief ingredients of the "melting pot".
 
Q. What life-long designation are you guaranteed as an American no 
   matter how high or low your social rank?
 
Q.  When playing [game of your choice] what is the proper form of 
    address when your opponent wins a point?
 
 
A. "Kike, wop, greaser, beaner, jig, mick, honkey, boonie, kraut, 
   nigger, bohunk, spic, yid, polack, limey, wet-back, sheeney, gash, 
   slut, slag, scumbag, crip..."
 
That *SHOULD* lay this to rest, but I highly doubt it...
 
ObJoke:
  What is trinitrotoluene??
  The traditional method of catching fish.


---.sig File 1.0-----------------------------------------------------------
Ken Thompson - Cobra@jab.tucson.az.us   |"Mr. Science Officer, commence    
Alt.address  - Cobra@coyote.datalog.com | relaxation period!"- Cdr. R. Hoek
Alt.adrs.two - GEnie - K.THOMPSON23     | "Ren and Stimpy" - Space Madness 
----------------------------------------.sig Virus Killer Beta Test Ok!----
From: jdare@math.rutgers.edu (james dare)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Date: 12 Sep 92 02:26:05 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

In article <1992Sep10.171313.4135@oracle.us.oracle.com>, mfriedma@uucp (Michael Friedman) writes:
>Is anyone else getting fed up with these bullshit cascades?
>
>I reply to each one in e-mail complaining.  If fifty or a hundred
>people join me I guarantee that this junk will stop.
>Mike

As you can see, there are a number of us who *do* enjoy these
cascades (sorry that our senses of humor aren't as sophisticated as
yours).  As often as these cascades appear in rec.humor without a
standard keyword, maybe you had better unsubscribe to the group.  

Incidently, I think this is one of the best cascades I've seen in a
while.

 
>In article <1992Sep3.134408.8527@pony.Ingres.COM> sweeney@Ingres.COM (Tony Sweeney) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF THIS DOESN'T STOP, IM GOING TO START THE WORST CASCADE EVER
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHILE EATING THIS SLOP, I SEWED THE FIRST BROCADE BEAVER.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>BILE FITTING RIG STOP, LIE SPEWED THIRST LIVER !!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IF YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE, AT LEAST DELIVER...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>WHO MAY I ATTRIBUTE TO THIS BEASTLY SLIVER?
>>>>>>>>>>>>TO SPAY A LUTE IN A GREASY RIVER
>>>>>>>>>>>DAMN CASCADERS THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER
>>>>>>>>>>I WILL NOT CASCADE; NOPE, NO, NEVER
>>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, ON A TRAIN?
>>>>>>>>WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, IN THE RAIN?
>>>>>>>R2-D2 ON THE BRAIN?
>>>>>>This cascade is damn insane!
>>>>>And it's really getting lame!
>>>>POST IN CAPS YOU WEIRDOS, WHAT ARE YOU DEAF ? !!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>YOUVE RUINED MY RIGHT EAR, HOW 'BOUT THE LEFT?
>>LEFT AT THE NEXT LIGHTS, UNLESS RED
FLAMES TO MIKE FOR THE THINGS THAT HE'S SAID! 

>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>I am not an official Oracle spokesman.  I speak for myself and no one else.
You certainly don't speak for me.


|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| James A. Dare          | Hammered a screwdriver into my ear, to my brain.   |
| E-mail:                | I'm watchin' my life swirl down the drain          |
| jdare@math.rutgers.edu | And I'm feelin' about as Abel as Cain              |
| Snail-mail:            | But I guess that that's the price of fame          |
| P.O. Box 4104          | When you're destined to live on a STREET OF SHAME! |
| Highland Park, NJ      |                        --Foetus                    |
|            08904-4104  ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|                        | I saw an x-ray of a girl passing gas!              |
|                        |                        --Butthole Surfers          |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.|
|	   		-- Vice President Dan Quayle                          |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave)
Subject: Re: A Religious View of Life
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 02:37:40 GMT

In article <1992Sep3.212222.4492@newstand.syr.edu> mary@erc.cat.syr.edu (Mary Papp) writes:
>I don't know if this has been posted before, but this is really funny
	      ^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^
>so I think it is)...
>
>
>
>                A RELIGOUS VIEW OF LIFE
> 
>Taoism: Shit Happens.
>
>Confucianism: Confucius Say, "Shit Happens."
>
[a bunch of deleted shit]

No, I've never seen this list before!  It's NEVER been posted here!

=====================jholtgra@scgraph.afit.af.mil==============================
Jeremy Holtgrave                          "Besides, we have more guns and bombs
Air Force Institute of Technology          than you."
Wright-Patterson AFB, Ohio
===============================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: viking@iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: Still more jokes
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 03:53:35 GMT

rolleston_c@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz (Chris Rolleston) writes:

>JOIN THE ARMY
>Travel to exotic, distant lands.
>Meet exciting, unusual people
>and kill them.
> 
>---

JOIN THE NATIONAL GUARD!
Travel to exotic, distant lands.
Meet exciting, unusual people
and kill them.
(but only on weekends).

	Hey, I took it from a t-shirt I own.

<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: s1110238@giaeb.cc.monash.edu.au (Lee Hollingworth)
Subject: Re: Request, mother-in-law jokes
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 09:42:51 GMT

jaa@hutcs.cs.hut.fi (Jari Alasuvanto) writes:

>	I would like to have some mother-in-law jokes. 

Definition of mixed-emotions...

Watching your mother-in-law drive your Porche off a cliff!

Lee.
From: pjl@sparc10.cs.uiuc.edu (Paul Lucas)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: She's a babe .. Wayne's World
Date: 10 Sep 92 14:52:56 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

In <mckillnm.716124765@unix2.tcd.ie> mckillnm@unix2.tcd.ie (Marky Mark) writes:

>I am looking for as many ways to say "she's a babe !"

>EG :
>	Baberaham Lincoln
>	Etc.....

*****>	If she were a religion, she would be a babe-tist.
	..............place   , ............ babe-alon.
-- 
	- Paul J. Lucas				University of Illinois	
	  AT&T Bell Laboratories		at Urbana-Champaign
	  Naperville, IL			pjl@cs.uiuc.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.arts.movies
From: braca2@cspyr1.cs.adfa.oz.au (BRAY CHRISTOPHER)
Subject: Re: Mixed Up Movie Titles
Organization: Australian Defence Force Academy, Canberra, Australia
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 13:43:03 GMT

sandra@felix.filenet.com (Sandra Cole) writes:

>All of us at one time or another have gotten confused about movie titles 
>and called them something other than what they actually were.  Sometimes
>this makes for some very amusing was not was movie titles.   A while
>ago a man I used to work with was telling a group of us about how he
>was going to see a film that he heard was supposed to be really good.
>He said the name of the movie was "Monkeys in the Fog".  After about
>ten seconds we all realized he was talking about "Gorillas in the
>Mist", and we laughing and OTF:-).  Does anyone else have any incidents
>like this?

I was in Perth with a few of my mates, waiting anxiously to see the new
film with Anthony Hopkins, when  my friend goes up and says:

	"When is Sleeping with the Lambs showing?"


hook

Xref: sparky rec.humor:28550 alt.folklore.computers:13940
From: smckinty@sunicnc.France.Sun.COM (Steve McKinty - Sun ICNC)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Date: 14 Sep 1992 07:35:45 GMT
Organization: SunConnect
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: hardy.france.sun.com

In article <1992Sep13.191433.1@vxdesy.desy.de>, forbush@vxdesy.desy.de writes:

> 
> Because PAL contains more lines of information than NTSC (the US standard)
> you can always record longer with NTSC. For example, if you use
> an E-300 tape in a US VCR you can record 10 hours and 45 minutes.
> 
> This works for Camcorders as well... a 90 minute European
> 8mm cassette will last for 130 minutes.
> 

That doesn't sound right. The number of lines is irrelevant, a VHS recorder
lays down one complete field with each rotation of the head, no matter how
many lines are in that field. NTSC (system M) has 60 fields per sec compared
to PAL's 50, so the head drum spins faster for an NTSC machine. The linear
tape speed isn't necessarily affected.

Stave

-- 
Steve McKinty
SUN Microsystems ICNC
38240 Meylan, France
email: smckinty@france.sun.com	   BIX: smckinty
From: hendric@goldwing.ksu.ksu.edu (Richard Hendricks)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: C programs...
Date: 15 Sep 1992 22:26:20 -0500
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: goldwing.ksu.ksu.edu
Summary: C programs...
Keywords: C progs...

I'm just a newbie to C programming, but i just realized a fundamemtal
thing about C. It's the saddest programming language, because it ends
most of its statements in unhappy faces, i.e.:

      printf("hello\n" );   (can you see the reverse smiley?)

Have a nice day!)
Happiness is Mandatory =)

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin)
Subject: Re: Original Enormous Sig File, Part 4/4
Reply-To: pt@geovision.gvc.com
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 17:39:38 GMT

This is a job for "Captain Warlord"!

-- 
Paul Tomblin, pt@geovision.gvc.com or {uunet,revcan}!geovision!pt
(This is not an official opinion of GeoVision Systems Inc.)
"I need that trephination stuff like I need another hole in the head"
    --  Kim L. Greer in alt.folklore.urban
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gbloom@zeus.calpoly.edu (Dark Elf (Gregg Bloom))
Subject: ...
Organization: California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo
Date: Tue, 08 Sep 1992 17:48:34 GMT

Forget SIX feet under... you guys beat things a mile deep on this group.

-- 
Dark Elf                                            gbloom@hebe.calpoly.edu
			         		        drow@rever.nmsu.edu
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
					- Jack Handey
From: cm182s182@pdrome.UUCP (Clayton Miner)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Polack joke ?
Date: 2 Sep 92 11:31:02 GMT
Organization: The PowerDrome BBS [(716)825-3614 CNet]
X-BBS-Software: EXCELSIOR! v0.95f

Yes I know SEVERAL good American jokes...  Bill Clinton,
                                           H. Ross Perot
                                           George Bush

Well...I don't know them personally....
 
Skeksis
Organization: Sophomore, Architecture, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 14:17:34 -0400 
From: Rebecca Ann Stallings <rs87+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: from a church bulletin

During an ecumenical gathering, someone rushed in and shouted, "The
building is on fire!"
   The Methodists  gathered in a corner and prayed.
    The Baptists cried, "Where's the water?"
    The Christian Scientists agreed that there was no fire.
    The Fundamentalists shouted, "It's the wrath of God!"
    The Lutherans nailed a notice on the door, declaring that the fire
was not justified.
    The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.
    The Jews posted symbols above the door, hoping the fire would pass over.
    The Congregationalists shouted, "Everyone for themselves!"
    The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson, who was to form a
committee to look into the matter.
    The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out in grand style.
    The Unitarians toasted marshmallows.


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: krauss@oktext.sbc.com (M S Krauss)
Subject: Re: Need Dan Quayle jokes...
Reply-To: krauss@oktext.UUCP (M S Krauss)
Organization: Southwestern Bell
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 92 18:08:53 GMT

In article <1992Sep1.182847.15682@aio.jsc.nasa.gov> walker@superboy.jsc.nasa.gov writes:
>In article <1992Aug28.113556.49576@ccvax.ucd.ie>, wboatclb@ccvax.ucd.ie writes:
>|> In article <1992Aug27.160743.17220@smartstar.com>, syspb@smartstar.com (Paul) writes:
>|> > Dan Quayle was asked if he would ever run for President.  He said that
>|> > he would consider running in 1994, but he wanted to see if George Bush 
>|> > gets re-elected first.
>|> > (The election is in 1996 Danny Boy!)
>|>                                     
>|>   Ah come on now, let's be fair to Danny.
>|> 
>|>  He said that he'd _consider_ running in '94,
>|>  i.e. decide in '94 if he'll seek nomination
>|>  for '96.  Get-it?
>|>                                     
>Yeah, Right.

But, is this what that little dumb shit really meant??

-Mike
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: s312@brems.ii.uib.no (Permjit Bhamra)
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Organization: University of Bergen, Norway
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 92 07:48:47 GMT

clyde@brahms.udel.edu (Clarence W Robinson) writes:
: In article <1ek4oB1w164w@jab.tucson.az.us> cr@jab.tucson.az.us (clint ruoho) writes:
: >kelly@igor.tamri.com (Kelly Kittell) writes:
: >
: >> We have a very pleasant Filipino woman who lives in our neighborhood.
: >> Her name is Bea Ver.
: >
: >I once knew a Jewish guy named Ham Berger...
: 
: Delaware has a State Senator (or at least had one) named Al O. Plant.
: No lie.  He always included his middle initial.

-- Stuff deleted --

I knew a gynecologist, her name was Mrs. Hymen ....

: >Let's just hope her husband's name isn't Dick...<g>


 
__________________________________________________________________________
                Permjit Bhamra, Dept. of Computer Science 
                      University of Bergen, NORWAY
                         E-Mail  s312@ii.uib.no         
__________________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes
From: Roberto@sunsci.cern.ch (Roberto Divia CERN-ECP/DS +41 22 767 4994)
Subject: Re: amusing system errors
Organization: CERN - European Laboratory for Particle Physics
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 10:26:19 GMT

While installing OpenWindows 3.0:

"Fatal system error: Sic Transit Gloria Postscript"

(I had just moved some vital libraries, including the Postscript kernel...)
--
|   Roberto Divia`      | Love at  first sight  is one of the greatest |
|   =============       | labor-saving devices the world has ever seen |
|  CERN :  European Laboratory for Particle Physics,  1211  Geneva  23 |
|  Switzerland (CH)                                                    |
From: kml@cellar.org (kml)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Steel  Brush Joke.
Date: 9 Sep 92 14:00:29 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system

jle@locus.com (John Elghani/10000000) writes:

> 
> A man went next door and asked his lady neigbor for a steel brush.  The
> lady wondered why; he said :  My male dog doesn't jump my female
> dog except when I rub his back with a brush, and he's getting
> too old, he's needing a steel brush to get him sex-active immediately. She ga
> him the brush.  A few days later, the man knocked at the door to return
> the brush, the women's old husband opened.  Here's the brush I borrowed
> for so and so (explained the story), thanks; the dog owner said.  It's you,
> you SOB, that taught this trick to my wife, look at my 
> bleeding back and peeled off penis, you SOB; SLAM in the face.  
> 
> jle


Guess you had to be there, eh?



       As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
  kml%cellar@tredysvr.tredydev.unisys.com - My other account is a Mercedes.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mckillnm@unix2.tcd.ie (Marky Mark)
Subject: She's a babe .. Wayne's World
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 11:32:45 GMT

I am looking for as many ways to say "she's a babe !"

EG :
	Baberaham Lincoln
	Etc.....


		Thankx


--
  _ _ _                 _ _ _                        |  mckillnm@unix2.tcd.ie
 ' ) ) )         /     ' ) ) )    /     /) /)        |-------------------------
  / / / __  __  /_      / / / _  /_ o  // // _  __   |As they say in Russia ..
 / ' (_(_(_/ (_/ <_    / ' (_(__/ <_(_(/_(/_(<_/) )_ |    "Mascow....C'Ya"
From: bill@AEC.MsState.Edu (bill balcerzak)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Hello
Date: 15 Sep 92 17:33:25 GMT
Article-I.D.: ra.1992Sep15.173325.8819
Organization: Mississippi State University

In article <1992Sep15.125617.116031@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu> tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ) writes:
>>>>>>>Hello.  How are you today?
>>>>>>I'm fine, so cascade away!
>>>>>OK. You can call me ray.
>>>>You doesn't has to call me ray, you can call me Jay.
>>>Don't you have anything better to say?
>>Perhaps there is some better way?
>Oh, there MUST be, I should say!
I wish this would just go away.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: howeird@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com
Subject: Re: Famous Churchill Oxymoron Quote
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 23:42:07 GMT
Organization: HP Research Grants Program

According to mussack@innerdoor.austin.ibm.com:
>
>Once young Winston was spending spring break in Ft. Lauderdale.
>As he carelessly flipped through the Sports Illustrated
>swimsuit issue, three giggling co-eds from Georgia approached him.
>"Excuse me, my friends and I were having some fun thinking
>up oxymorons, you know, like millitary intelligence or
>British love-making. Perhaps you would like to contribute."
>Without looking up he quickly complied: "Your fat ass."

This is the kind of thing up with which I will not put!
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: just a thought......
Date: 15 Sep 92 12:17:56 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <unruley.716500617@mcl>, unruley@mcl.ucsb.edu (Kriss Boyce) writes:
>Just a thought.....
>
>Can _all_ blond jokes be transferred over to Freshman jokes, or just most
>of them........
>?? =)
>Kriss

No, but most of them can make great sorority-girl jokes!
    -TMA