From: frankm@microsoft.com (Frank R.A.J. Maloney)
Subject: REVIEW: Three Short Movie Notices
Reply-To: frankm@microsoft.com (Frank R.A.J. Maloney)
Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 11:55:27 GMT
Followup-To: rec.arts.movies
Summary: r.a.m.r. #01456
Keywords: author=Maloney

			  Three Short Movie Notices
				 COOL WORLD
			     UNIVERSAL SOLDIER
			  HONEY, I BLEW UP THE KID
			Copyright 1992 Frank Maloney

     The following are not reviews per se, but rather brief notices "for
the record" of three films I have seen recently, none of which appears
to deserve a more extended discussion by this reviewer:

COOL WORLD

     COOL WORLD is an animated-live action film directed by Ralph Bakshi
and stars Kim Bassinger, Gabriel Byrne, and Brad Pitt.  If cool means
unemotional or uninvolved, then this film is well named.  To say that
the most interesting performance by the live actors was by Kim Basinger
ought to be give you some idea of one of the film's problems.
Basinger's Holli Would is a monster of ego and libido, but at least she
wants to do something.  Gabriel Byrne, who is quite a creditable actor
normally, has no idea was to do with this part as the ex-con cartoonist
who tunes into the Cool World; he is wooden and silly with his wide-eyed
stares and dropped-jaw expression that tides him over in lieu of acting.
Brad Pitt, who made a mark for himself in THELMA & LOUISE, makes a mess
of his role as the morality cop.  It is absolutely the worst interface
I've ever seen between a live actor and a cartoon.  A few of the
backgrounds are interesting and the last ten minutes is inventive and
funny, but it is overall a film to be avoided by all but the most
die-hard followers of animation.  For the rest of us, it is mostly ugly,
repetitive, juvenile, and overblown, and if you say it's a satire of
Hollywood I say "So what?" because it doesn't work.

UNIVERSAL SOLDIER

     UNIVERSAL SOLDIER is a film directed by Roland Emmerich, from a
script by Richard Rothstein, Christopher Leitch, and Dean Devlin.  It
stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Ally Walker, with Jerry
Orbach; it is rated R, for violence, nudity, and language.  This is an
unconvincing and unbelievable kick-ass science fantasy that is relieved
by Van Damme's rather cute imitation Schwarzenegger, by J-C's nude
scene, and most importantly by Ally Walker as the cocky TV reporter who
gets swept up by the deadly and extended contest between J-C and
Lundgren, the maniac who can't be killed; Walker is far and away the
most interesting aspect of this uninteresting movies.  The major premise
of the film is obviously bogus that the rest of the film becomes
immediately pointless, unless extreme violence is its own reward.
Walker is funny, J-C is sort of funny, Lundgren is impossible.  If you
say that Emmerich the German director achieves an near parody of the
James Cameron rollercoaster style, I say "So what?"; parody needs a
point of view.  I turned my face a few times, but otherwise I just was
marking time and getting away for a couple of hours from an especially
hot Sunday in Seattle.  Not recommended at any price, except to the most
rabid fans of Van Damme.

HONEY, I BLEW UP THE KID

     HONEY, I BLEW UP THE KID, directed by Randal Kleiser, from a story
by Garry Goodrow, stars Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, and Robert
Oliveri and is rated PG.  This sequel to the sweet and inventive HONEY,
I SHRUNK THE KIDS still has Rick Moranis, who is always fun to watch,
but otherwise is a pointless and exploitative effort to cash in on the
success of the original.  Tell me it's a parody of the 50s obsession
with giant mutants, especially THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, and I'll say
"So what?"; it has nothing to say about these films or the period they
grew out of.  This film adds nothing to the f/x vocabulary and in fact
the special effects are pretty clumsy and obvious.  Part of the problem
is that tiny is fascinating but gigantic is merely dangerous.  The best
moments are when Moranis, the gifted ex-tempore comic actor, has to
ad-lib around the undirectable twins that play Adam, the ultimate in the
terrible twos, especially the scene when Moranis proposes a lullaby and
the kid wants another tune; it is obvious (and has been confirmed in a
feature story) that the scene was improvised because the kid didn't want
to hear the song the script called for, and as such it is tender,
charming, direct, and natural.  Something most of this terrible sequel
is not.

     The film is being shown with a charming Disney short about a
discarded rockinghorse that tries to lure its child away from his video
game.  Part computer animation, it is brief but completely winning.
Almost repays the cost of the matinee ticket.

-- 
Frank Richard Aloysius Jude Maloney