From: kriz@skat.usc.edu (KRIZ)
Newsgroups: talk.religion.misc
Subject: Cath. Christianity 101 - JP II's letter "On the Family" - 12 (repost)
Date: 25 Jul 1992 20:02:06 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: skat.usc.edu


The following is a portion of Pope John Paul II's 1981 Apostolic
Exhortation "Familiaris Consortio" (On the Family).  The document
is organized in the following way:

     Introduction.
     Part 1. Bright Spots and Shadows for the Family Today.       
     Part 2. The Plan of God for Marriage and the Family.
     Part 3. The Role of the Christian Family.
          I. Forming a Community of Persons.
          II. Serving Life.
               A. The Transmission of Life.
               B. Education.
          III. Participating in the Development of Society.       
          IV. Sharing in the Life and Mission of the Church.      
(*)  Part 4. Pastoral Care of the Family.
          I. Stages of Pastoral Care of the Family.
          II. Structures of Family Pastoral Care.
          III. Agents of the Pastoral Care of the Family.
--->      IV. Pastoral Care of the Family in Difficult Cases.     
     Conclusion.


Note: (-->) denotes which portion of the document is presented
herein.

In Christ,

Dennis
kriz@skat.usc.edu

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John Paul II's 1981 Apostolic Exhortation "On the Family" - Pt 4IV


                            PART FOUR
                   PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY
                             (cont)


IV. PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY IN DIFFICULT CASES.
---------------------------------------------------

77. Particular circumstances.
-----------------------------

  An even more generous, intelligent and prudent pastoral
commitment, modeled on the Good Shepherd, is called for in the case
of families which, often independently of their own wishes and
through pressures of various other kinds, find themselves faced by
situations which are objectively difficult.

  In this regard it is necessary to call special attention to
certain particular groups which are more in need not only of
assistance but also of more incisive action upon public opinion and
especially upon cultural, economic and juridical structures, in
order that the profound causes of their needs may be eliminated as
far as possible.

  Such, for example, are the families of migrant workers; the
families of those obliged to be away for long periods of times,
such as members of the armed forces, sailors and all kinds of
itinerant people; the families of those in prison, of refugees and
exiles; the families in big cities living, practically speaking as
outcasts; families with no home; incomplete or single-parent
families; families with children that are handicapped or addicted
to drugs; the families of alcoholics; families that have been
uprooted from their cultural and social environment or are in
danger of losing it; families discriminated against for political
or other reasons; families that are ideologically divided; families
that are unable to make ready contact with the parish; families
experiencing violence or unjust treatment because of their faith;
teen-age married couples; the elderly, who are often obliged to
live alone with inadequate means of subsistence.

  The families of migrants, especially in the case of manual
workers and farm workers, should be able to find a homeland
everywhere in the church.  This is a task stemming from the nature
of the church, as being the sign of unity in diversity.  As far as
possible these people should be looked after by priests of their
own rite, culture and language.  It is also the church's task to
appeal to the public conscience and to all those in authority in
social, economic and political life, in order that workers may find
employment in their own regions and homelands, that they may
receive just wages, that their families may be reunited as soon as
possible, be respected in their cultural identity and treated on an
equal footing with others, and that their children may be given the
chance to learn a trade or exercise it, as also the change to own
the land needed for working and living.

  A difficult problem is that of the family which is ideologically
divided.  In these cases particular pastoral care is needed.  In
the first place it is necessary to maintain tactful personal
contact with such families.  The believing members must be
strengthened in their faith and supported in their Christian lives. 
Although the party faithful to Catholicism cannot give way,
dialogue with the other party must be kept alive.  Love and respect
must be freely shown in the firm hope that unity will be
maintained.  Much also depends on the relationship between parents
and children.  Moreover, ideologies which are alien to the faith
can stimulate the believing members of the family to grow in faith
and in the witness of love.

  Other difficult circumstances in which the family needs the help
of the ecclesial community and its pastors are: the children's
adolescence, which can be disturbed, rebellious and sometimes
stormy; the children's marriage, which takes them away from their
family; lack of understanding or lack of love on the part of those
held most dear; abandonment or neglect on the part of children and
relations.  There is also suffering caused by ill-health, by the
gradual loss of strength, by the humiliation of having to depend on
others, by the sorrow of feeling of the end of life.  These are the
circumstances in which, as the synod fathers suggested, it is
easier to help people understand and live the lofty aspects of the
spirituality of marriage and the family, aspects which take their
inspiration from the value of Christ's cross and resurrection, the
source of sanctification and profound happiness in daily life, in
the light of the great eschatological realities of eternal life.

  In all these different situations let prayer, the source of light
and strength and the nourishment of Christian hope, never be
neglected.


78. Mixed Marriages.
--------------------

  The growing number of mixed marriages between Catholics and other
baptized persons also calls for special pastoral attention in the
light of the directives and norms contained in the most recent
documents of the Holy See and in those drawn up by the episcopal
conferences, in order to permit their practical application to the
various situations.

  Couples living in a mixed marriage have special needs, which can
be put under three main headings.

  In the first place, attention must be paid to the obligations
that faith imposes on the Catholic party with regard to the free
exercise of the faith and the consequent obligation to ensure, as
far as is possible, the baptism and upbringing of the children in
the Catholic faith [178].  

  There must be borne in mind the particular difficulties inherent
in the relationships between husband and wife with regard to
respect for religious freedom: This freedom could be violated
either by undue pressure to make the partner change his or her
beliefs or by placing obstacles in the way of the free
manifestation of these beliefs by religious practice.

  With regard to the liturgical and canonical form of marriage,
ordinaries can make wide use of their faculties to meet various
necessities.

  In dealing with these special needs, the following points should
be kept in mind:

  -- In the appropriate preparation for this type of marriage every
reasonable effort must be made to ensure proper understanding of
Catholic teaching on the qualities and obligations of marriage and
also to ensure that the pressures and obstacles mentioned above
will not occur.

  -- It is of the greatest importance that through the support of
the community the Catholic party should be strengthened in faith
and positively helped to mature in understanding and practicing
that faith so as to become a credible witness within the family
through his or her own life and through the quality of love shown
to the other spouse and the children.

  Marriages between Catholics and other baptized persons have their
particular nature, but they contain numerous elements that could
well be made good use of and developed, both for their intrinsic
value and for thee contribution that they can make to the
ecumenical movement.  This is particularly true when both parties
are faithful to their religious duties.  Their common baptism and
the dynamism of grace provide the spouses in these marriages with
the basis and motivations for expressing their unity in the sphere
of moral and spiritual values.

  For this purpose and also in order to highlight the ecumenical
importance of mixed marriages which are fully lived in the faith of
the two Christian spouses an effort should be made to establish
cordial cooperation between the Catholic and non-Catholic ministers
from the time that preparations begin for the marriage and the
wedding ceremony even though this does not always prove easy.

  With regard to the sharing of the non-Catholic party in
eucharistic communion, the norms issued by the Secretariat for
Promoting Christian Unity should be followed [179].

  Today in many parts of the world marriages between Catholics and
non-baptized persons are growing in numbers.  In many such
marriages the non-baptized partner professes another religion and
his beliefs are to be treated with respect in accordance with the
principles set out in the Second Vatican Council's declaration
NOSTRA AETATE on relations with non-Christian religions.  But in
many other such marriages, particularly in secularized societies,
the non-baptized person professes no religion at all.  In these
marriages there is a need for episcopal conferences and for
individual bishops to ensure that there are proper pastoral
safeguards for the faith of the Catholic partner and for the free
exercise of his faith, above all in regard to his duty to do all in
his power to ensure the Catholic baptism and education of the
children of the marriage.  Likewise the Catholic must be assisted
in every possible way to offer within his family a genuine witness
to the Catholic faith and to Catholic life.


79. Pastoral action in certain irregular situations.
----------------------------------------------------

  In its solicitude to protect the family in all its dimensions,
not only the religious one, the Synod of Bishops did not fail to
take into careful consideration certain situations which are
irregular in a religious sense and often in the civil sense too. 
Such situations, as a result of today's rapid cultural changes, are
unfortunately becoming widespread also among Catholics with no
little damage to the very institution of the family and to society,
of which the family constitutes the basic cell.


80.a. Trial marriages.
----------------------

  A first example of an irregular situation is provided by what are
called "trial marriages," which many people today would like to
justify attributing a certain value to them.  But human reason
leads one to see that they are unacceptable, by showing the
unconvincing nature of carrying out an "experiment" with human
beings, whose dignity demands that they should be always and solely
the term of a self-giving love without limitations of time or of
any other circumstance.

  The church, for her part, cannot admit such a kind of union for
further and original reasons which derive from faith.  For, in the
first place, the gift of the body in the sexual relationship is a
real symbol of the giving of the whole person: Such a giving,
moreover, in the present state of things cannot take place with
full truth without the concourse of the love of charity, given by
Christ.  In the second place, marriage between two baptized persons
is a real symbol of the union of Christ and the church, which is
not a temporary or "trial" union, but one which is eternally
faithful.  Therefore between two baptized persons there can exist
only an indissoluble marriage.

  Such a situation cannot usually be overcome unless the human
person from childhood, with the help of Christ's grace and without
fear, has been trained to dominate concupiscence from the beginning
and to establish relationships of genuine love with other people. 
This cannot be secured without a true education in genuine love and
in the right use of sexuality, such as to introduce the human
person in every aspect, and therefore the bodily aspect too, into
the fullness of the mystery of Christ.

  It will be very useful to investigate the causes of this
phenomenon, including its psychological and sociological aspect, in
order to find the proper remedy.


81.b. De facto free unions.
---------------------------

  This means unions without any publicly recognized institutional
bond, either civil or religious.  This phenomenon, which is
becoming ever more frequent, cannot fail to concern pastors of
souls, also because it may be based on widely varying factors, the
consequences of which may perhaps be containable by suitable
action.

  Some people consider themselves almost forced into a free union
by difficult economic, cultural or religious situations, on the
grounds that if they would be exposed to some form of harm, would
lose economic advantages, would be discriminated against, etc.  In
other cases, however, one encounters people who scorn, rebel
against or reject society, the institution of the family and the
social and political order, or who are solely seeking pleasure. 
Then there are those who are driven to such situations by extreme
ignorance or poverty, sometimes by a conditioning due to situations
of real injustice or by a certain psychological immaturity that
makes them uncertain or afraid to enter into a stable and
definitive union.  In some countries traditional customs presume
that the true and proper marriage will take place only after a
period of cohabitation and the birth of the first child.

  Each of these elements presents the church with arduous pastoral
problems, by reason of the serious consequences deriving from them,
both religious and moral (the loss of the religious sense of
marriage seen grace of the sacrament; grave scandal) and also
social consequences (the destruction of the concept of the family;
the weakening of the sense of fidelity, also toward society;
possible psychological damage to the children; the strengthening of
selfishness).

  The pastors and the ecclesial community should take care to
become acquainted with such situations and their actual causes,
case by case.  They should make tactful and respectful contact with
the couples concerned and enlighten them patiently, correct them
charitably and show them the witness of the Christian family life
in such a way as to smooth the path for them to regularize their
situation.  But above all there must be a campaign of prevention,
by fostering the sense of fidelity in the whole moral and religious
training of the young, instructing them concerning the conditions
and structures that favor such fidelity, without which there is no
true freedom; they must be helped to reach spiritual maturity and
enabled to understand the rich human and supernatural reality of
marriage as a sacrament.


82. c. Catholics in civil marriages.
------------------------------------

  There are increasing cases of Catholics who for ideological or
practical reasons prefer to contract a merely civil marriage and
who reject or at least defer religious marriage.  Their situation
cannot, of course, be likened to that of people simply living
together without any bond at all, because in the present case there
is at least a certain commitment to a properly defined and probably
stable state of life even though the possibility of a future
divorce is often present in the minds of those entering a civil
marriage.  By seeking public recognition of their bond on the part
of the state, such couples show that they are ready to accept not
only its advantages but also its obligations.  Nevertheless, not
even this situation is acceptable to the church.

  The aim of pastoral action will be to make these people
understand the need for consistency between their choice of life
and the faith that they profess, and to try to do everything
possible to induce them to regularize their situation in the light
of Christian principles.  While treating them with great charity
and bringing them into the life of the respective communities, the
pastors of the church will regrettably not be able to admit them to
the sacraments.


83. d. Separated or divorced persons who have not remarried.
-----------------------------------------------------------

  Various reasons can unfortunately lead to the often irreparable
breakdown of valid marriages.  These include mutual lack of
understanding and the inability to enter into interpersonal
relationships.  Obviously, separation must be considered as a last
resort, after all other reasonable attempts at reconciliation have
proved vain.

  Loneliness and other difficulties are often the lot of separated
spouses especially when they are the innocent parties.  The
ecclesial community must support such people more than ever.  It
must give them much respect, solidarity, understanding and
practical help, so that they can preserve their fidelity even in
their difficult situation; and it must help them to cultivate the
need to forgive which is inherent in Christian love and to be ready
perhaps to return to their former married life.

  The situation is similar for people who have undergone divorce,
but, being well aware that the valid marriage bond is indissoluble,
refrain from becoming involved in a new union and devote themselves
solely to carrying out their family duties and the responsibilities
of Christian life.  In such cases their example of fidelity and
Christian consistency takes on particular value as a witness before
the world and the church.  Here it is even more necessary for the
church to offer continual love and assistance without there being
an obstacle to admission to the sacraments.


84. e. Divorced persons who have remarried.
-------------------------------------------

  Daily experience unfortunately shows that people who have
obtained a divorce usually intend to enter into a new union,
obviously not with a Catholic religious ceremony.  Since this is an
evil that like the others is affecting more and more Catholics as
well, the problem must be faced with resolution and without delay. 
The synod fathers studied it expressly.  The church, which was set
up to lead to salvation all people and especially the baptized,
cannot abandon to their own devices those who have been previously
bound by sacramental marriage and who have attempted a second
marriage.  The church will therefore make untiring efforts to put
at their disposal her means of salvation.

  Pastors must know that for the sake of truth they are obliged to
exercise careful discernment of situations.  There is, in fact, a
difference between those who have sincerely tried to save their
first marriage and have been unjustly abandoned and those who,
through their own grave fault, have destroyed a canonically valid
marriage.

  Finally, there are those who have entered into a second union for
the sake of the children's upbringing and who are sometimes
subjectively certain in conscience that their previous irreparably
destroyed marriage had never been valid.

  Together with the synod, I earnestly call upon pastors and the
whole community of the faithful to help the divorced and with
solicitous care to make sure that they do not consider themselves
as separated from the church, for as baptized persons they can and
indeed must share in her life.  They should be encouraged to listen
to the word of God, to attend the sacrifice of the Mass, to
persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to the
community effort in favor of justice, to bring up their children in
the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of
penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace.  Let the church
pray for them, encourage them and show herself a merciful mother
and thus sustain them in faith and hope.

  However, the church reaffirms her practice, which is based upon
sacred scripture, of not admitting to eucharistic communion
divorced persons who have remarried.  They are unable to be
admitted thereto from the fact that their state and condition of
life objectively contradict that union of love between Christ and
the church which is signified and effected by the eucharist. 
Besides this there is another special pastoral reason: If these
people were admitted to the eucharist the faithful would be led
into error and confusion regarding the church's teaching about the
indissolubility of marriage.

  Reconciliation in the sacrament of penance, which would open the
way to the eucharist, can only be granted to those who, repenting
of having broken the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to
Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no
longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage.

  This means, in practice, that when, for serious reasons such as,
for example, the children's upbringing, a man and a woman cannot
satisfy the obligation to separate, they "take on themselves the
duty to live in complete continence, that is, by abstinence from
the acts proper to married couples" [180].

  Similarly, the respect due to the sacrament of matrimony, to the
couples themselves and their families, and also to the community of
the faithful forbids any pastor for whatever reason or pretext,
even of a pastoral nature, to perform ceremonies of any kind for
divorced people who remarry.  Such ceremonies would give the
impression of the celebration of a new, sacramentally valid
marriage and would thus lead people into error concerning the
indissolubility of a validly contracted marriage.

  By acting in this way the church professes her own fidelity to
Christ and to his truth.  At the same time she shows motherly
concern for these children of hers, especially those who, through
no fault of their own, have been abandoned by their legitimate
partner.

  With firm confidence she believes that those who have rejected
the Lord's command and are still living in this state will be able
to obtain from God the grace of conversion and salvation, provided
that they have persevered in prayer, penance and charity.


85. Those without a family.
---------------------------

  I wish to add a further word for a category of people whom, as a
result of actual circumstances in which they are living, and this
often not through their own deliberate wish, I consider
particularly close to the heart of Christ and deserving of the
affection and active solicitude of the church and of pastors.

  There exist in the world countless people who unfortunately
cannot in any sense claim membership in what could be called, in
the proper sense, a family.  Large sections of humanity live in
conditions of extreme poverty in which promiscuity, lack of
housing, the irregular nature and instability of relationships and
the extreme lack of education make it impossible in practice to
speak of a true family.  There are others who for various reasons
have been left alone in the world.  And yet for all of these people
there exists a "good news of the family."

  On behalf of those living in extreme poverty I have already
spoken of the urgent need to work courageously in order to find
solutions also at the political level, which will make it possible
to help them and to overcome this inhuman condition of degradation.

  It is a special task that faces the whole of society, but in a
special way the authorities, by reason of their position and the
responsibilities flowing therefrom, and also families, which must
show great understanding and willingness to help.

  For those who have no natural family the doors of the great
family which is the church -- the church which finds concrete
expression in the diocesan and the parish family, in ecclesial
basic communities and in movements of the apostolate -- must be
opened even wider.  No one is without a family in this world: The
church is a home and family for everyone, especially those who
"labor and are heavy laden" [181].

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Footnotes:

[178] Cf. Paul VI, Motu Proprio MATRIMONIA MIXTA, 4-5: AAS 62
(1970).

[179] Instruction IN QUIBUS RERUM CIRCUMSTANTIIS (June 15, 1972):
AAS 64 (1972), 518-525; Note on Oct. 17, 1973; AAS 65 (1973), 616-
619.

[180] John Paul II, Homily at the Close of the Sixth Synod of
Bishops, 7 (Oct. 25, 1980): AAS 72 (1980), 1082.

[181] Mt. 11:28.

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