From: "Raistlin Majere" <p00139@psilink.com>
Subject: Re: pain...
Organization: Tower of High Sorcery - Palanthas
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 01:15:03 GMT
X-Mailer: PSILink (3.2)

>DATE:   Wed, 7 Oct 1992 22:42:03 -0400
>FROM:   Alexander L. Hawkinson <ah2j+@andrew.cmu.edu>
>
>Dear everyone out in netland,
>
>    Help!  I am a student here at Carnegie Mellon University, and as the
>world here goes on in it's mundane and business-like manner, mine seems
>to be crashing down around me. 

	Like I've said before...we're here to help, Alex.
	Now, sit down on the couch....here, let me help you adjust
	the pillow. Are we sitting comfortably? Good. Now, you just
	tell Dr. Raist everything....<click of ball point pen, sound
	of small notebook opening>

> I have been with one person for the
>better part of two wonderful years.  I can't and don't want to explain
>something such as love that changes and varys so much from one couple to
>another, but I can say that what she and I built together was true, the
>kind of thing that I have always been looking for. 

	Mmmmmhmmmm.

> We go to seperate
>schools, but see each other every other weekend during the academic year
>and spend all of our vacations together.  Just two months ago we had our
>future together after college (still a year away) planned out and were
>looking towards it with a passion.  But then...
>
>BAM
>

	I just *knew* this was coming.......

>When she returned to college this year she found that one of her
>teen-years, "mystical" romances had enrolled at her school.  She started
>seeing him, and in a matter of two weeks decided that she needs to
>continue to do so until she feels that things are "solved" between them.
>
	Yeah, *right*........

>Okay, I can deal to some extent.  Love goes beyond one's own personal
>hapiness and if she really wants to explore something else for awhile
>and that is what makes her happy, then that should be okay.  Shit
>happens, and people can make mistakes.  It's all part of life...
>
	Bullshit. Love involves commitment. If she loved you, she
	wouldn't have done this. She's using you, and you aren't
	even smart enough to know it. Get with the program, son....

	Remember, it has already been said here, but I'll say it again:
	"If you love someone, you set them free - if they don't come
	 back, you hunt them down and kill them..."

>But here's the catch...
>
>She calls me at least once every couple of days and tells me tenderly
>that she knows that I am the one that she wants to be with for the rest
>of her life and that there is no one else in the world like me.  But
>then she also says that it is just going to take time to work things out
>with this guy.  She says that she knows that I am the one for her, but
>then she continues to see this other person.
>
	Yeah - some catch. If you were "the one", she wouldn't be 
	screwing around with some old flame. You are Mr. Right Now,
	not Mr. Right. If she loved you, you would be the sole focus
	of her affections. Since you are not, then you are obviously
	only of part-time interest to her. Again, she is using you.
	You are the "understanding Nice Guy[tm]" who listens to her...
	....but it is the "old flame" that is screwing her.

	(BTW, How sure am I that she is screwing him? Hmmmmm. Let's
	just say that if this were the final round on Jeopardy, and
	I was ahead $6,000.00 - I'd wager it *all* in final Jeopardy...)

>Can this happen.  Is she wanting to hold onto me as a security blanket,
>as something comfortable that she can have after she has had her
>excitement???  Or could it really be the case that she just needs some
>time on her own to realize through experience that what she had with me
>is what she is looking for???
>
	I didn't say it.....

>To you, the unconnected outside minds, this entire situation may be
>clear.  But to me, the insider, it is as confusing as hell.  I love her,
>and I naturally could wait for her, but for those of you who have been
>in or heard of similar situations, is it worth the wait?..
>
	I'm sure it is confusing as hell. Believe it or not, 
	Dr. Raist has been through some pretty pitch black nights 
	of the soul, as well. 

	Word of advice; don't wait. She can't have it both ways. If
	you keep providing her with the security blanket, your just
	going to keep getting used - while this other guy is getting
	*her* if ya follow me. I know it hurts - but believe me when
	I tell you that the pain now will be minor, compared to the
	pain you will endure in the future, if you keep letting her
	do this to you (or, if she dumps you for good in the future...).

	Don't even bother giving her an ultimatum. Just dump her and
	wish her the best of luck with her "old flame". Trust me, this
	guy will use her up, and leave her a broken, miserable wreck.
	
	You can do better. I'm sure there's somebody much more worthy
	of you out there somewhere. Don't wait. Start lookin' now.....
	(I know this sounds trite, and cliched, but I've been there,
	and I found that it is the only way.......). Whatever you do,
	though, don't let her keep using you this way........

>But on the other hand, on the other days of the week, I go the other way
>and think that if I allow this to escalate she will build something with
>him as she did with me.  If there isn't any "one" person for you out
>there in this world, then it is a real danger that by letting her drift
>away, I am letting go of something wonderful when I could have done
>something about it.
>
	You couldn't have. You can't make her change. Just dump her.
	When she's a broken woman, lying in the gutter in a pile of
	her own filth, and begging you to take her back - coldly stare
	her in the eyes and say, 
	
	"Cut the cord, sweetheart......"

	It worked for me, in my situation (after which she tried to take
	her own life on Christmas Eve. Thoughts like that keep me so
	snuggly warm on crisp fall nights.......)

	<Insert "Malevolent, Mocking, Satanic, Laughter"[tm] Here>

>So, should I give up on her, and go on to someone who will love me in
>return as hard as I can love them.  Or should I wait...
>
	Move on. Get past her.

>If you have any ideas, please respond.  There is this energy of
>passionate confusion building up inside of me, and if I don't figure out
>what's going on soon it is going to start destroying other aspects of my
>life, including my hopes, dreams, and ideals.  Arrrrggghhhh...
>
	Oh, trust the good Doctor, I know the feeling *well*.......

	<Insert "Diabolical, Demonic, Baleful, Laughter"[tm] Here>

>    /-\lexander 
*****************************************************************************
 	"You live alone. You die alone. You can marry. You can 
	 reproduce. You can try and escape the icy clutches of 
	 the Void any way you like. Children will not bring you 
	 immortality. Marriage does not mean you won't have to 
	 die alone. As you spin, and writhe, and twist and fuck 
	 your way into oblivion remember that there are only 
	 two truths:
		1. No one here gets out alive.

		2. One to a box, kids......"

	<Insert "Malevolent, Mocking, Satanic, Laughter"[tm] Here>
*****************************************************************************
	    Raistlin Majere @ Tower of High Sorcery - Palanthas
*****************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.romance