From: missy@ntmtv.bnr.ca (Missy Iaquinto)
Subject: Re: "Missing out" (was. re:  Justin...)
Organization: Northern Telecom Inc, Mountain View, CA
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 17:59:33 GMT

In article <eaa-010992102358@smac-eaa.doc.ic.ac.uk>, eaa@doc.ic.ac.uk (Liz Attree) writes:
|> 
|
|> [...] my labour ended up being totally
|> controlled by an epidural - something that before having her I had been
|> very anti- but during labour was only too grateful for.  
   [...]
|> So many people say there is nothing more fulfilling than having a vaginal
|> birth and pushing your baby out in to the world.  If I am lucky enough to
|> have a second, I wonder if "missing out" first time round will make me
|> refuse an epidural again, just so that I can experience childbirth.  
|> [...]  I'm not hugely brave
|> and would not like to anticipate giving birth without knowing help is
|> available if I couldn't cope.  Or is it really that important?  Isn't
|> having the child in your arms afterwards fulfilling enough, however they
|> made their entry into the world?  
|> 
|> Anyone have any thoughts on this?

I have one daughter, almost three, and a second child due in January.

I'm not sure who is hardest on mothers who have drugs, and/or c-sections
during their birthing, women who have not experienced labor, women who
*have* experienced labor, and refused/did not require intervention, men,
doctors, or the mothers themselves.

I personally never could understand all the hoopla.  The main event is
that a live human being is born.  If you go home with a healthy baby and
healthy mommy, where's the problem?

I delivered my daughter vaginally, with an epidural, and a wonderful doctor
who believed me when I said I needed something for the pain.  I was
completely alert and in no pain for the last 1 1/2 hours.  I pushed, but
needed a little help with forceps.  The epidural and forceps left me 
feeling no less like a mother, and no less than any woman who had a
drug-free birth experience.

I can't say for certain how I would have felt if I had required a c-section,
but I honestly don't think I would have felt like a failure.  I think
that's a terribly paradoxical way to describe the birth of a child, no
matter what the circumstances.

My cousin, whose son just turned two, was encouraged to push WAY too
long for the reason of avoiding a c-section.  After trying for an
eternity (can't remember now how long it was, but I was there, and it 
was a long time), the doctor said "okay, give it everything you've
got for another (I think) 20 minutes, and if you can't do it, we'll 
have to do a c-section."  My cousin, a SAINT who always tries to please,
did exactly as her doctor said, and was still unable to push the baby out.
She had the c-section.  She felt like a failure.  About a year later
her baby was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, due to lack of oxygen during
delivery.  He's two years old and still can't walk or talk .. can barely
hold his head up.  They suspected there may be problems as soon as he was
born and the mark from the internal monitor, instead of being at the crown 
of Kyle's head, was at the back of his neck ... indicating his position,
and thus the lack of oxygen.

Clearly, there were other contributing factors to the outcome than 
the stigma of c-section (incompetent doctor), however, it was obviously
made to be more important than it should have been.  BTW, this was
not her regular doctor, who was on vacation.

I never had any negative feelings about c-sections, or mothers who needed
them.  A healthy baby could only be the result of a *successful* labor.
After my cousin's experience, I certainly havn't changed my opinion.

Missy Iaquinto
Newsgroups: misc.kids