From: hanhvo@convex.com (Hanh Vo)
Subject: [Jokes] Ho^` Chi' Minh jokes ( part III )
Organization: CONVEX Computer Corporation, Richardson, Tx., USA
Date: Mon, 06 Apr 1992 19:19:16 GMT
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              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.



   Mo^.t ho^m , trong lu'c la`m vie^.c, ba'c Ho^` cho+.t nhi`n le^n tu+o+`ng,
tha^'y bu+'c cha^n dung cu?a mi`nh, ba'c mo+'i dde^? y' la` ca^`n pha?i thay
mo^.t bu+'c cha^n dung mo+'i vi` ca'i hi`nh ddang treo ba'c dda~ chu.p la^u
la('m ro^`i. Na(m tha'ng qua ddi , ba'c dda~ gia` nhie^`u ho+n so vo+'i lu'c
tru+o+'c ne^n ca^`n pha?i co' ca'i hi`nh mo+'i cho phu` ho+.p.
   Nga`y ho^m sau , ngu+o+`i tho+. chu.p hi`nh no^?i tie^'ng nha^'t ddu+o+.c
mo+`i dde^'n, chu.p khoa?ng chu+`ng va`i chu.c ta^'m hi`nh kha'c nhau cho ba'c.
Sau ddo' ba'c ngo^`i ha`ng gio+` dde^? lu+.a ra xem ta^'m na`o ddu+o+.c
nha^'t . Ba'c lu+.a ma~i cuo^'i cu`ng cho.n ra 2 ta^'m ddu+o+.c nha^'t : mo^.t
ta^'m ba'c chu.p ve? ma(.t trang nghie^m va` ta^'m kia ba'c cu+o+`i ho+~
mo^i toe toe't . Ba'c ngo^`i dda('n ddo suy nghi~ ma~i tha^'y mo^~i ta^'m co'
mo^~i ca'i hay rie^ng, kho^ng bie^'t pha?i quye^'t ddi.nh nhu+ the^' na`o,
cuo^'i cu`ng ba'c dda`nh gu+?i xuo^'ng cho Le^ Dua^?n va` Tru+o+`ng Chinh
cho.n du`m . Ta^'m hay nha^'t se~ ddu+o+.c pho'ng dda.i ra la`m bu+'c cha^n
dung mo+'i cu?a ba'c Ho^` treo o+? ca'c co+ quan, ca'c no+i co^ng co^.ng ....

   Le^ Dua^?n va` Tru+o+`ng Chinh xu+a kia la` thu? ha. tha^n ti'nh nha^'t
cu?a ba'c , tu+`ng sa't ca'nh be^n nhau nhu+ng dde^'n khi kha'ng chie^'n
cho^'ng Pha'p tha`nh co^ng, 2 ngu+o+`i tro+? ne^n ddo^'i ddi.ch vo+'i nhau
nha^'t la` nhu+~ng lu'c sau na`y khi ba'c dda~ gia` ye^'u , 2 ngu+o+`i ca`ng
co^' ga('ng ga^y a?nh hu+o+?ng, the^' lu+.c vo+'i hy vo.ng sau khi ba'c qua
ddo+`i , ca'i co+ nghie^.p se~ ve^` tay mi`nh . Vi` va^.y, 2 ngu+o+`i lu'c
na`o cu~ng co' y' cho^'ng nhau . Nhu+~ng gi` Le^ Dua^?n cho la` to^'t thi`
Tru+o+`ng Chinh cho la` xa^'u , ca'i gi` Le^ Dua^?n cho la` ddu+o+.c thi`
Tru+o+`ng Chinh no'i kho^ng ddu+o+.c va` ngu+o+.c la.i. Thu+o+`ng thu+o+`ng,
Tru+o+`ng Chinh luo^n ke'm the^' ho+n Le^ Dua^?n ve^` mo.i ma(.t .

   Vi` va^.y, khi 2 ta^'m hi`nh ddu+o+.c ddu+a to+'i tay , Le^ Dua^?n 
nga('m nghi'a , cho ra(`ng ta^'m hi`nh ba'c ddang cu+o+`i la` dde.p nha^'t,
ddo`i ddem ra la`m cha^n dung mo+'i cu?a ba'c . Tru+o+`ng Chinh le^n tie^'ng
pha?n ddo^'i cho ra(`ng ta^'m kia hay ho+n ....... va` cuo^.c ca~i va? du+~
do^.i ba('t dda^`u xa?y ra . Tru+o+`ng Chinh le^n tie^'ng :

   " DDo^`ng chi' thu+? nhi`n xem , ca'i hi`nh ba'c chu.p ngie^m trang,
     a'nh ma('t qua('t thu+o+'c ca`ng la`m ta(ng ca'i ve? oai nghie^m cu?a
     nha` la~nh dda.o quo^'c gia ......."

   Le^ Dua^?n kho^ng chi.u ke'm , ca~i la.i :

   " DDo^`ng chi' la^`m ro^`i . Thu+? nhi`n ca'i hi`nh ba'c cu+o+`i xem
     sao ... A'nh ma('t ba'c hie^`n ho`a nhu+ng trong sa'ng , uy vu~ la`m
     cho ngu+o+`i xem pha?i khie^'p so+. va` ki'nh phu.c "

  The^' ro^`i ngu+o+`i qua tie^'ng la.i mo^~i ca^u , Tru+o+`ng Chinh cu~ng
nhu+ mo.i la^`n , da^`n da^`n ddi va`o the^' ye^'u , nhu+ng la^`n na`y 
Chinh nha^'t ddi.nh kho^ng chi.u thua va` chi? va`o ca'i mie^.ng ba'c 
ra(`ng :

   " DDo^`ng chi' xem ky? ddi ....Ba'c mi'm mo^i kho^ng cu+o+`i la`m cho
     bo^. ra^u ba'c ddu+'ng tha(?ng , ddu'ng la` ca'i du~ng cu?a mo^.t vi.
     tu+o+'ng, mo^.t vi. la?nh tu. chu+' ai nhu+ ca'i hi`nh na`y , ba'c cu+o+`i
     ho+~ mo^i toe toe't , ra^u to'c lo^.n xo^.n , kho^ng thu+' tu+. "

   " DDo^`ng chi' la.i a(n no'i ho^` ddo^` nu+~a ro^`i , nu. cu+o+`i cu?a
     ba'c tuy co' ve? te^'u , nhu+ng to^i da'm ba?o dda?m ai nhi`n cu~ng
     thi'ch nha^'t la` tre? em la.i ca`ng ye^u thu+o+ng ba'c ho+n . La`m
     mo^.t nha` la~nh dda.o dda^u pha?i co^'t ye^'u cho mo.i ngu+o+`i so+. ,
     pha?i la`m sao cho ngu+o+`i ta thu+o+ng nhu+ ngu+o+`i cha gia` cu?a
     da^n to^.c va^.y "

  Hai ngu+o+`i ca`ng ca~i , ca`ng ha(ng . Tru+o+`ng Chinh ca`ng lu'c ca`ng
vo^ the^' bi' ne^n ddie^n tie^'t ca^`m 2 ta^'m hi`nh xe' toa.t ra la`m 2
ne'm xuo^'ng ba`n . Giu+~a lu'c ddo', cu+?a pho`ng mo+? toang , Vo~ Nguye^n
Gia'p ma(.c ddo^` ka-ki, ma(.t ma`y ddo? bu+`ng vi` say ru+o+.u , chai 
ru+o+.u va^~n co`n ke.p mo^.t be^n na'ch , chue^'nh choa'ng, nghe^nh
ngang bu+o+'c va`o .

  Tru+o+`ng Chinh xe' hi`nh ba'c xong he^'t ho^`n , mo^` ho^i toa't ra 
da^`m de^` , vi` ca'i to^.i xe' hi`nh ba'c la` de^~ o+? tu` mu't chi?, 
kho^ng chu+`ng co`n bi. cho ddi mo` to^m la` kha'c . Ve^` pha^`n Le^ Dua^?n
vi` bi. lo^i ke'o va`o cuo^.c tranh lua^.n dde^'n lu'c ha(ng ma'u ne^n
que^n ddi ca'i co+ ho^.i nga`n va`ng dde^? buo^.c to^.i Chinh xe' hi`nh ba'c,
sa(~n Vo~ Nguye^n Gia'p bu+o+'c va`o, Dua^?n ne'm cho Gia'p  pha^`n du+o+'i
cu?a 2 ta^'m  hi`nh tu+'c la` pha^`n  chu.p ca'i mie^.ng ba'c , pha^n 
tra^`n :

  " Na`y ba'c Gia'p , ba'c thu+? coi xem 2 ca'i , ca'i na`o tro^ng ddu+o+.c
    ho+n ?????? "

  Vo~ Nguye^n Gia'p vi` uo^'ng qua' say , ca^`m 2 ta^'m hi`nh tre^n 2 ba`n
tay , xoay qua, xoay la.i, nhu+o+'ng nhu+o+'ng ca(.p ma('t lo+` ddo+` nhi`n,
tha^'y ca'i mie^.ng ba'c vo+'i ra^u ria xo^`m xoa`ng la.i tu+o+?ng la^`m la`
hi`nh khie^u da^m, ca'i cu?a no+. ddo+`i , tu the^m mo^.t ngu.m ru+o+.u,
cu+o+`i khe^` kha`, dda('c y' ra(`ng :

  " U'i dzo+`i o+i ..... hai ba'c dda`o dda^u ra ma^'y ca'i hi`nh na`y 
    va^.y ????? U'i cha` cha` .... tro^ng ngon la`nh thie^.t ...... ba'c
    ho?i to^i ca'i na`o ngon ho+n a` ???? Tha^.t la` ca'c ba'c so^'ng trong
    sung su+o+'ng quen ro^`i ne^n que^n ddi ca'i di~ va~ng cu+.c kho^?
    xu+a kia , tha^.t ddu'ng vo+'i ca^u " No co+m ru+?ng mo+~, ddu+o+.c
    voi ddo`i tie^n " . Co`n nho+' na(m xu+a khi chu'ng ta tru+o+`ng ky`
    dda'nh Ta^y trong ru+`ng sa^u kho^ng ????? Hai ba na(m lie^`n kho^ng
    tha^'y bo'ng dda`n ba` , lu'c ddo' , chi? ca^`n mo^.t ca'i nhu+ the^'
    na`y dde^? nhe't va`o cho su+o+'ng ca'i no+. ddo+`i la` khoa'i ro^`i,
    ca^`n gi` pha?i pha^n bie^.t, dde^? y' no' khe'p hay la` ho+~ ......"

  Dua^?n , Chinh : ????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


						   Ha.nh Vo^`



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