From: ajw@cbnews.cb.att.com (andrew.j.whitman)
Subject: Re: Statement Condemning Musical Forms (was: is music amoral)
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 13:32:31 GMT

In article <1992Aug17.135834.10601@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> jlaplant@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (John R Laplante, quoting a denominational statement) writes:
 
>  Wheras it is apparent from the study of music history and music theory
>  that music is a language that conveys thoughts and emotions without
>  words, and  

Whereas it is apparent from unsubstantiated statements that the authors
of said statements convey their idiocy, be it hereby resolved to 
snicker at such statements and to hoot derisively at all such 
obviously "apparent" truths.

Furthermore, let it be noted by the chair that the notion of conveying
"thoughts" without "words" is a nonsensical idea, or emotion, or
something, and that linguists all over the world are probably
chortling behind their lexicons at the very ludicrousness of the
thought, or emotion, or whatever.  

Be it further noted that the study of music history reveals that all
genres of music, including classical music and the melodies of much 
"sacred" music, have at one time or another been viewed as promoting 
immorality by some segments of the population, this despite their
bounty of gloriousness, flowingness, beauty, and other value-laden
words.  

Finally, let it be noted that even the most brain-damaged can assume
positions of denominational leadership and acquire a minimum of legalese
language, and that I am commanded to love them anyway.  God knows it's
hard.  

>  Whereas the promoters of the music of this pop rock culture know exactly
>  what they are communicating to the youth of our day through the music 
>  they write and perform, and

Which the authors of the above statement seemingly view as a Bad Thing (TM), 
apparently preferring that the demonic purveyors of the pop rock culture
*not* know what they are communicating.

>  Whereas the trend of thoe day in Christian music is a belief that any kind
>  of music is suitable for fusion with words, prose or verse, concerning God
>  and Jesus Christ and the teaching of the Bible,

Imagine that!  The mind reels at the very audacity of the thought or 
emotion.

>  Be it resolved by the delegates to the XXXXXXXXXX meeting in XXXXX,
>  XXXXX 1987, that music is in fact not neutral in that it has the power to 
>  communicate thoughts and actions of morality or immorality,

Those darn wordless thoughts again.  And not just thoughts, but actions!
I'm curious to see the list linking musical works with immoral actions.  I 
can only speculate here - maybe Handel's "Water Music" with "to drown
the cat," Miles Davis' "So What" with "to rebel against parental
authority, The Ventures' "Theme From Hawaii 5-0" with "to surf when
the lifeguard is off duty."  Oh, scratch the Handel.  He probably
rates okay on the Flowingness Scale.

>  Be it further resolved that we believe it is wrong to attempt to 
>  communicate the things of God and His Word through a style of music that
>  in its structure is promoting the very opposite of the truth of God, and

As is clearly expounded in Levitations 3, where we see that God likes
only like I - IV - V chord progressions and the gloriousness of the
Beach Boys' harmonies.  And that's the objective truth.

>  Be it finally resolved that we strongly advise that careful scrutiny be
>  given to the music of our church fellowships and schools to be sure that
>  it follows the time-honored formula of great music -- beautiful melody,
>  glorious harmony, and flowing rhythm

All of which can be easily determined by the Beautiful/Glorious/Flowing
Scale, first devised by Rene Descartes but later modified by Bob Larson, 
which plots the value and moral integrity of music on a three-dimensional 
grid.  Recent scholars, however, have taken issue with the scale,
and have proposed an alternate Really Pretty/Awesome/Gently Undulating
Scale, which is gaining wide acceptance in some Evangelical and/or
Fundamentalist circles in eastern Europe.  

Andy Whitman
AT&T Bell Laboratories, Columbus, Ohio
att!cblpn!ajw  or
ajw@cblpn.att.com