From: Mark Kovarski <kovarski@zooid.guild.org>
Subject: -= Signature Recommendations =-
Organization: The Zoo of Ids
Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1993 20:23:54 GMT

                        The Funniest Lines
                        ==================

Here is a collection of Lines. You can use any of them in your
signatures files. This list will be updated regularly. Enjoy...

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
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"If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - Bill Gates
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"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating
 system, and possible program, of all time." - Bill Gates, 1987
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"OS/2 is destined to be a very important piece of software. During the
next 10 years, millions of programmers and users will utilize this 
system." Bill Gates, 1988
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"In fact, I don't think 7-11s even take coupons. I should check that
out..." - Bill Gates, 1992 
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"While we liked developing Windows applications, we never inhaled."     
- Philippe Kahn, 1992
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"New GUIs from IBM and NeXT make Windows look old hat." 
- Datamation, 1992
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" Why are manhole covers round?
  How many gas stations are there in the U.S.?"
- Interview questions asked by Microsoft, 1992
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(Dos + Windows + ATM) < OS/2 2.0!
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2.0 is better than 1.
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Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
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Bugs come in through open Windows.
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Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!
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Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS!  Try today's OS/2!
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Dos: Venerable.  Windows: Vulnerable.  OS/2: Viable.
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Scanning for Viruses...Windows Found! Please Remove.
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DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
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Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
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Friends don't let friends use Windows.
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Have you crashed your Windows today?
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He who laughs last uses OS/2.
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How do you make Windows faster?  Throw it harder!
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How do you spell relief? OS/2!
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I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.
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I love running Windows! NOT!
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I smashed a Window and saw... *OS/2*
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I use OS/2 2.0 and I don't care who knows!
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If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
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If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
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If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.
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It takes 2.0, baby, it takes 2.0...
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MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
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My best view from a Window was through OS/2.
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One man's Windows are another man's walls.
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OS/2 2.0: Taking the wind out of Windows.
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OS/2 in '92!
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OS/2: Bill Gates' worst nightmare!
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OS/2: Logic, not magic.
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OS/2: Not just another pretty program loader!
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OS/2: The choice of the next generation.
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OS/2: Windows done RIGHT!
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OS/2: Windows with bullet-proof glass.
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OS/2: The human way of Computing!
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OS/2: Your brain.  Windows: Your brain on drugs.
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See the Future; See OS/2.  Be the Future; Run OS/2.
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The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.
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The sad thing about Windows bashing is it's all true.
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To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...
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Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\>
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Wait for OS/2 2.0 - the best Windows tip around!
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Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows.
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What I like about MS is its loyalty to customers!
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What's so great that people are switching to Windows?
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What?!?  DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke?
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When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2!
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Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2
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WindowError:001 Windows loaded.  System in danger.
WindowError:002 No error . . . yet.
WindowError:003 Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every 
                file.
WindowError:004 Erronious error.  Nothing wrong.
WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted.  System confused.
WindowError:006 Malicious error.  Desqview found on drive.
WindowError:007 System price error.  Inadequate money spent.
WindowError:008 Broken window.  Watch for glass fragments.
WindowError:009 Horrible bug encounterd.  God knows what has happened.
WindowError:00A Promotional literature overflow.  Mailbox full.
WindowError:00B Inadequate disk space.  Need 50 meg minimum.
WindowError:00C Memory hog error.  More ram needed.  More!  More!
WindowError:00D Window closed.  Do not look out.
WindowError:00E Window open, do not look in.
WindowError:00F Unexplained error.  Please tell us how it happened.
WindowError:010 Reserved for future mistakes
WindowError:014 Nonexistent error.  This cannot really be happening.
WindowError:015 Unable to exit windows.  Try the door.
WindowError:016 Door locked.  Try control-alt-delete
WindowError:017 Keyboard locked.  Try anything you can think of.
WindowError:018 Unrecoverable error.  System destroyed.
WindowError:019 User error.  It's not our fault.  Is not!  Is not!
WindowError:01A Operating system overwritten.  Terribly sorry.
WindowError:01B Illegal error.  Do not get this error.
WindowError:01C Uncertainty error.  Uncertainty may be inadequate.
WindowError:01D Unable to figure out our own code.  System crashed.
WindowError:01E Timing error.  Please wait.  And wait.  And wait.
WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes
WindowError:020 Error recording error codes.  Remaining errors lost.
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Windows 3.1 - The Best $89 Solitaire Game You can Buy!
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Windows = Training wheels for OS/2!
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Windows = Turn a 386/25 into a 4.77 Mhz XT
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Windows is a pane
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Windows is great if you can make it work.
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Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
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Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Fuctionally Challenged"
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Windows NT: From the makers of Windows 3.0!
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Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
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Windows NT? New Technology?  I don't think so...
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Windows NT? Want to run it? Check IEEE Spectrum "TERAFLOPS GALORE."
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Windows: A View to be Killed.
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Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
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Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
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Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
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Windows: The CP/M of the future!
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Windows: The Gates of hell.
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Windows?  Homey don't play that!
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Windows?  WINDOWS?!?  Hahahahahehehehehohohoho...
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Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions
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You're throwing it all out the Windows!
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Newsgroups: comp.os.os2.advocacy