Newsgroups: alt.tv.ren-n-stimpy
Subject: Episode Log (Repost By Separate Party)
From: ngsippel@miavx2.ham.muohio.edu
Date: 8 Oct 92 16:38:11 EDT
Organization: Watch Ren And Stimpy or Else!

For the benefit of those (like myself on this News feed) who have short time
spans news articles can stay on, I have followed up this article.

Here's the Episode Log in its entirety. 

--

In article <16877DFEA.WBRANDT@cms.cc.wayne.edu>, WBRANDT@cms.cc.wayne.edu (Buffalo Bill) writes:
>   Here is the official episode log from Film Threat magazine--which should
> probably be added to the FAQ. It's been reproduced without their consent.
> If you're a serious R&S fan, you should really consider buying a copy of
> Film Threat. The other 16 pages of their article are packed with good stuff.
>  
>  
> Pilot
> -----
> BIG HOUSE BLUES
>  
> Ren and Stimpy find themselves in the pound, about to be gassed.
> The uncut version contains the scene where Ren has a romantic dream
> and mistakenly kisses his pal Stimpy. Ren awakens from his dream
> horrified and washes his mouth out in the toilet. Another censored
> moment moment is Ren's astute observation upon finding out that
> another dog has been euthanized: "You don't wake up from the big
> sleep!"
>  
>  
> First Season
> ------------
> STIMPY'S BIG DAY
>  
> In this 30-minute episode, Stimpy wins a trip to Hollywood and
> becomes a big-shot, leaving his pal Ren behind. At the end of part
> one, a microphone gets shoved into Stimpy's nostril as he's about
> to speak on national television for the first time. Originally the
> mike was to be shoved into his mouth, but it was deemed too phallic.
>  
>  
> ROBIN HOEK
>  
> Stimpy thrashes the tale of Robin Hood this time out. Ren, as Robin
> Hoek, is placed in increasingly dangerous situations as Stimpy
> describes the events taking place in Sherwood forest. The original
> ending had Robin Hoek marrying--and blissfully smooching--Maid
> Moron (Stimpy).
>  
> NURSE STIMPY
>  
> Ren wakes up sick and nearly dies. Stimpy vows to renew his health.
> At one point, Stimpy thinks Ren has taken a turn for the worse and
> calls Dr. Leech, who lies atop Ren and sucks out the bad blood. The
> doctor sloshes away, nearly bursting with plasma. Oh wait, that was
> cut. Another could-have-been was a chicken soup gag where Stimpy
> befriends Stinky the Chicken--who bathes in Stimpy's soup.
>  
> SPACE MADNESS
>  
> Having switched to automatic pilot, our space-bound heroes,
> Commander Hoek and Cadet Stimpy, have nothing to do. Without any
> stimulation, Commander Hoek succombs to "Space Madness." As in all
> space adventures, Ren and Stimpy die at the end. They realize their
> fate before it happens and can do nothing about it. The movie
> "Night of the Hunter" inspired some of Ren's crazy rants: "You're
> not like the others, Johnnie, you hate the same things I hate...
> perfume-smelling things...lacy things, things with curly hair."
> This was changed to "You like the same things I like...."
>  
> THE BOY WHO CRIED RAT
>  
> Destitute as usual, Ren devises a scheme so that he and his pal can
> live comfortably as house pets. He breaks into a house masquerading
> as a mouse. Stimpy then offers his mouse-catching services to
> Husband and Wife, who believe they need help in ridding their house
> of the pest. When Stimpy catches Ren, Husband and Wife make Stimpy
> eat his catch. Actually, this setup was an excuse to get Ren inside
> Stimpy's mouth. Originally, the entire cartoon was supposed to
> take place inside Stimpy's malodorous maw.
>  
> THE LITTLEST GIANT
>  
> Another storybook tale, where Stimpy, as the Littlest Giant, runs
> away from an abusive home of big giants. He becomes a huge hero to
> Ren of the Wee People by saving the farm from drought with his
> outpouring of tears. Listen for the screams from the tiny folk
> getting squashed as the Littlest Giant walks behind a hill.
>  
> FIREDOGS
>  
> Ren and Stimpy get jobs as firedogs and save many lives in their
> struggle to put out a raging fire. Stimpy looks mighty relieved
> when he finally releases his kitty litter load.
>  
> MAROONED
>  
> Commander Hoek and Cadet Stimpy crash-land on an alien planet. They
> get eaten alive twice: first by a giant, brainiac monster, and then
> by giant, hideous one-celled creatures that thrive inside the
> monster's stomach.
>  
> UNTAMED WORLD
>  
> In the homage to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, Marlon Hoek and
> his assistant Stimpy explore the evolutionary wonders of the
> Galapagos Islands--where they encounter the bug-eating Albino Cave
> Hoek. Hey, your mouth would be disgusting, too, if you scarfed
> screaming flies.
>  
> BLACK HOLE
>  
> After being sucked into a black hole, Ren and Stimpy mutate
> hideously on a distant planet. In the end, the put-upon pair simply
> implode. See the 1946 Peter Lorre classic "The Beast With Five
> Fingers" for the original "Flesh and blood, not wax" line.
>  
> STIMPY'S INVENTIONS
>  
> In this episode, Stimpy invents ridiculous appliances for his pal
> Ren. Ren's patience is pushed to the limit, and he explodes with
> anger. Stimpy cures Ren's temper with his most successful
> contraption--the Happy Helmet. One of the nice things Ren does for
> Stimpy while wearing the Happy Helmet is give Stimpy a bath.  In a
> scene that was not meant to be, Stimpy raises his arm, exposing a
> sweaty armpit from which Ren gleefully licks off the filth.
>  
> Second Season
> -------------
> MAN'S BEST FRIEND
>  
> George Liquor buys Ren and Stimpy from a pet stroe and takes them
> home, where he teaches them his own brand of discipline.  Ren learns
> at a slower rate than Stiimpy, but finally proves himself to be a
> true chmapion.  George's bludgeoning with an oar 'Raging Bull'-style
> will go down as one of the great moments in animation history.
> "It's dicipline that begets love!" barks George.
>  
> POWDERED TOAST MAN
>  
> Disguised as Pastor Toast Man, the cool youth deacon, Powdered
> Toast Man sits in his government office awaiting calls from those
> in distress.  He resues hapless citizens--but usually to their
> detriment. Having saved the Preseident from being stuck in his own
> zipper, Powdered Toast Man assumes control of the highest office in
> the land while the President recovers.  As President, Powdered
> Toast Man frees the citizens of their basic human rights.  Listen
> for the voice of Frank Zappa as the Pope.
>  
> REN'S TOOTHACHE
>  
> Ren ridicules Stimpy for brushing his teeth.  Ren believes brushing
> is a waste of time, until a massive toothache cripples him with
> pain. Stimpy explains why toothaches hurt so much:  "Your nerve
> endings are the tastiest part of your body and your tooth beaver
> knows this." In a cross section of Ren's tooth we see the happy
> tooth beaver gnashing away at Ren's nerve endings.  Ren eventually
> loses all his teeth and can eat only mush.  Note:  After you see
> Ren's stinky gum holes you will never forget to brush you teeth
> again.
>  
> IN THE ARMY
>  
> Ren and Stimpy endure basic training in the army.  An overbearing
> sergeant bellows indecipherable orders that only Stimpy seems to
> understand. Stimpy is a born soldier and always does what he's
> told, but Ren tries to skate through the training without exerting
> any effort. Ren constantly gets caught slacking off and is punished.
> By the end, Ren can take no more and goes insane. There's great
> chanting from Aborigine women when Ren finally cracks.
>  
> SVEN HOEK
>  
> Ren believes that he'll finally get to conduct an intellectual
> conversation with his visiting cousin, Sven. He soon finds out that
> he was mistaken. Look for Sven adn Stimpy's favorite new board
> game, "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence," at a toy store near you.
>  
> DOG SHOW
>  
> George Liqor enters Ren and Stimpy in the all-breed dog show.
> Prejudging is fierce, and many contestants don't meet the high
> standards of Mr. Horse.  Prospects for Ren and Stimpy seem good, but
> George is a mean stage mother.
>  
> RUBBER NIPPLE SALESMAN
>  
> Ren and Stimpy hawk rubber nipples door-to-door.  Stimpy has a
> vision that "someday all of mankind shall have nipples."  The two
> nipple salesmen visit Husband and Wife (of "Cried Rat" fame) and a
> paranoid Mr. Horse.  They won't be going to George Liquor's house
> though; the evisceration gag was gouged out.
>  
> OUT WEST
>  
> Three-Fingered Hock and Stupid the Kid are villains in the Old West.
> Sheriff Abner and Deputy Ewalt are ignert as hell an' they danged
> hung everbody in town.  There's a song about it, too.
>  
> FAKE DAD
>  
> A kindhearted Ren agrees to take care of Kowalski, an orphaned
> seven-year-old, for the weekend. Kowalski's weekend fulough from
> Fake Dad Headquarters turns out to be more than Ren bargained for.
> It takes all the power he can muster to keep from disiplining
> Kowalski with force. Don't worry - Stimpy makes sure that Ren won't
> hurt the poor, defenseless, 700-pound convict kid.
>  
> KILTED YAKSMEN
>  
> Ren and Stimpy volunteer for a dangerous mission on behalf of the
> Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen. Their expedition is an epic search
> for the lost barren wasteland. What is Canada's most precious
> natural resource? Will Ren and Stimpyu find it in the name of the
> Yaksmen?
>  
> MAD DOG HOEK
>  
> Ren and Stimpy, a.k.a. Mad Dod Hoek and Killer Kadoogen, battle the
> Lout brothers, the tag team wrassling champs. Mad Dog assures the
> cautious Stimpy that the match is rigged and that they're all just
> playacting.  Ren soon finds out that the Louts didn't get the
> message. When it's Stimpy's turn, he takes to the abuse like a wild
> ride.
>  
> HAUNTED HOUSE
>  
> Ren and STimpy enter a haunted house and unwittingly terrorize a
> defense less ghost. What's the change for a bloody head? What
> happens to a ghost when he commits suicide? This episode answers
> those intriguing questions and many others. Oh, yeah - the yak is
> back too.
>  
> VISIT TO ANTHONY
>  
> Ren and Stimpy accept an invitation to visit a boy named Anthony
> (the invitation is a real fan letter - the first one Spumco
> received.) Victor the bully pummels Ren and Stimpy right before
> Anthony's eyes.
>  
> STIMPY'S FIRST FART
>  
> A little sound and a funhy smell spews from Stimpy's butt and it
> utterly baffles him in this 30-minute ode to flatulence. He asks
> Ren what happened, but Ren just thinks Stimpy's lost his mind.
> Stimpy becomes obsessed with finding the little fart. His quest
> makes for engrossing drama.
>  
> THE CAT THAT LAID THE GOLDEN HAIRBALL
>  
> The price of hairballs goes sky-high, so Ren puts Stimpy on the mass
> production line. When he licks off all of is furn, he must reort to
> licking Bubba. (Don't ask.)
>  
> THE BIG BABY SCAM
>  
> Ren observes babies getting pampered, fed and changed - and he
> envies their royal treatment.  When the parents leave the room, Ren
> and Stimpy cut a deal with the babies and swap places.  The parents
> can'tell the difference, not even during a family bath.
>  
> TO SALVE OR SALVE NOT
>  
> Stimpy is a sucker; he'll buy anything.  When a pesky salve salesman
> pushes the salve with a thousand uses, he can't resist buying some.
> Ren must be Stimpy's voice of reason, but it isn't an easy task.
>  
> A YARD TOO FAR
>  
> Ren and Stimpy love to eat hog jowls, and lucky for them, they
> discover a steaming hot plate of jowls cooling on a window sill
> nearby. Unfortunately, the yard between them is guarded, but they
> try their darndest to pass through to the goods.
>  
> STIMPY'S FAN CLUB
>  
> Stimpy gets all the fan mail and Ren is jealous.  Stimpy tries to
> make him feel important by making him president of his fan club.
> This drives Ren over the edge and he responds to Stimpy's fans with
> a poison pen.
>  
> LAIR OF THE LUMMOX:  UNTAMED WORLD 2
>  
> In this 30-minute edition of the nature series "Untamed World",
> Marlon Hoek and his assistant Stimpy track down and observe the wild
> lummox. From grooming habits to mating rituals, all aspects of the
> lummox are scientifically relayed. The fact that a lummox can
> launch a pen from the folds in his stomach into the air is a true
> wonder of nature.
>  
> MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DON'T
>  
> In a never-ending search for an easy and prestigious life, Ren and
> Stimpy masquerade as monkeys in order to get free food and climb
> the evolutionary ladder.  If you've ever been forced to pick and eat
> the vermin off a monkey's back, then you will sympathize strongly
> with Ren and Stimpy in this episode.
>  
> THE GREAT OUTDOORS
>  
> Stimpy takes Ren on a camping trip. The experience is a nightmare
> for Ren, who doesn't even know how to make a camp fire.  Stimpy must
> instruct his pal on how to rub two squirrels together to ignite a
> log.
>  
> Look for these in the third season
> ----------------------------------
> THE BIG SWITCH
>  
> Stimpy finally get fed up with Ren's abuse, and an argument ensues
> over what is more difficult: being stupid or being cruel. The two
> agree to switch roles for the entire next day. "A Ren & Stimpy"
> first:  Stimpy has Ren-like psychotic fits.
>  
> THE CELLUETTES
>  
> Stimpy joins an all-girl musical group call the Cellulettes.  They
> rise to stardom by singing, shimmying and winking their thigh meat.
>  
> NO PANTS TODAY or STIMPY: THAT NASTY LITTLE NAKED BOY
>  
> Stimpy wakes up with an irrational fear that he is naked and needs
> pants.  Rne kicks Stimpy out of the house to face the world--
> bereft of clothing.
>  
>  
>    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
>  /\ "Buffalo" Bill Brandt    LAN&DC       \  "Whatever you can do,         \
> /  \  Wayne State University--Detroit, MI  \   or dream you can, begin it.  \
> |  |   Internet: WBRANDT@CMS.CC.WAYNE.EDU  |    Boldness has genius,        |
> \  /  Bitnet:   WBRANDT@WAYNEST1.BITNET    /   power and magic in it."      /
>  \/  AOL:BufaloBil   AppleLink:U1484      /             Johann Goethe      /
>    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

-- 
      .    _  .     _____________ 
      |\_|/__/|    /             \ 
     / / \/ \  \  / Happy! Happy! \      
    /__|O||O|__ \ \   Joy! Joy!   / 
   |/_ \_/\_/ _\ | \  ___________/      
   | | (____) | ||  |/                       
   \/\___/\__/  // _/
   (_/         ||   
    |          ||\   Norman Sippel
     \        //_/   alias Norman "Muddy" Stimpy
      \______//      
     __|| __||       Email: ngsippel@miavx2.ham.muohio.edu
    (____(____)             ngsippel@komodo.ham.muohio.edu
          
Newsgroups: alt.tv.ren-n-stimpy