From: dolson@crl.ucsd.edu (Mark Dolson)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: When to wean after one year
Date: 7 Jan 1993 18:15:42 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

Sandra Mergen writes:

>I'm still nursing my second daughter, age 12 months, and would
>like to hear from other mothers who nursed beyond the first
>year. [deletia]

>BUT... My 
>husband and others are starting to tell me that IT'S TIME TO WEAN.
>I understand where they're coming from, since I weaned my first
>daughter at 9 1/2 months with no problem, but this daughter is
>different.  She ISN'T drinking milk from a bottle or cup like

(This is from Laura, not Mark.)

Well, I have a response and a related question on this.  First, my daughter
is soon to be 22 mo old, and I am still nursing her twice/day.

I, too, ran into social pressure to wean Emily.  I will discuss the reasons
I didn't in a minute, but the way I coped with social pressure at that time
was to relate what our pediatrician had said.  (First of all, he's very
pro-choice about nursing that is working for both baby and mother, up to 
the age of 2, at which time he feels that if a baby is still nursing, than
the mother has a problem with separation.)  He said that although the
nutritional needs for breastmilk aren't as strong after 12 months, that
(again, if mother and baby are still wanting to nurse) it might not be the
best time from a psychological perspective because many babies are having a
lot of separation anxiety at that age.  He said that some babies will wean
naturally when that anxiety decreases, around 14-16 months.  Then, at 18
months, when I was still nursing and fine about it, he suggested that if
I waited a few more months, Emily would be able to have a greater cognitive
understanding and I could use that to good advantage, ie "only babies 
nurse, you're a big girl now, etc.".  So up until now, I have used his
words to cope with social pressure.

BUT, now I REALLY feel the pressure to wean soon, as Emily is approaching
2.  And, as you have gathered, we are still fine with it.  The time she
really seems to want to nurse the most is when she first wakes up.  She
really doesn't seem to think her day can begin until she's nursed.  She
also nurses before she goes to bed, which is nice because it gets her all
sleepy and she goes down really easily after that, although she goes
down pretty well when I'm not there, too (no bottle).  I must admit that
part of the reason I keep nursing is pure laziness.  It's nice to get to
relax a few minutes before rushing into the day, and at night I usually
sing to her and read net news when nursing (I have perfected this art).
Also, when Emily is sick (thankfully not often, but we just had a bout
last weekend), she will ask to nurse during the day, and is so comforted
by it.  In fact, when she couldn't keep anything else down, she did OK with
breast milk.  Also, she still isn't a big (cow's) milk drinker, although
she doesn't throw it to the floor in disgust as she used to.

So, I have 2 dilemmas:  when to wean, and how to wean a toddler.  I can't
gather all my breasts up and throw them away, as people have been saying
they do with bottles and pacifiers!  Any suggestions?  And any thoughts
on how I can tell if I have a "separation problem"?

Thanks for the help, you all have been great with the other questions I 
have had recently!

Laura Dolson
dolson@crl.ucsd.edu


Newsgroups: misc.kids