HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: sstover@sumax.seattleu.edu (Maven o'Mirth)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: DATELINE: Bush fucks up!
Keywords: Tree huggers, Bud-chugging-hairy-backed-red-necked-conservatives
Date: 13 Sep 92 03:34:59 GMT
Organization: Seattle University, Seattle WA

In article <swood.716272312@vela> swood@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Scott Wood - EVENSONG) writes:

[serious discussion deleted]
>Remember, there are a hell of a lot more trees in the world than there
>are cars or flagellating cows, and the pollution (spoken of) they give
	     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh! Oh me!  This is priceless.  Here I was, reading along about whose
fault the world really is, when suddenly I am confronted with the mental
image of *flagellating cows*.  Oh dear.  But I wonder: are they violent
anarchist flagellating cows who flagellate others?  (Mental picture of cow
walking up to its victim, turning its nether end, and lashing madly with
tufted tail.)  Or are they self-flagellating monk-cows?  Oh my.  I feel so
much better now.  I hope you all laughed as hard as I did...for a minute
there I had begun to take myself much too seriously.

If you think I'm really off my rocker, look up "flagellate" in the dictionary.
>swood
>-- 
>+========================+    -------_________     +=========================+
>| WANTED - DEAD OR ALIVE |    o\ o \     ____|o    |  If you see this lure,  |
>|  Creek Chub "Plunker"  |      \___\_-o-    viv   | PLEASE send me email!!! |
>+========================+            viv          +=========================+

Feeling suddenly nervous about the possibility of being attacked by crazed
bovines with reveng in mind,

--
Sheryl Stover				|  How passing fair is youth,
*>sstover@sumax.seattleu.edu<*		|  Forever fleeting away;
and Hemingway, feline philosopher	|  Who happy would be, let him be;
Watch this .sig for news of the		|  Of tomorrow, who can say?
upcoming album from Seattle's 		|	-Lorenzo de'Medici
premier band, the Medici!		|
From: lcl@splinter.coe.northeastern.edu (Lisa C. Lewis)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Vote 92
Date: 5 Sep 92 12:54:31 GMT
Reply-To: lcl@meceng.coe.northeastern.edu
Organization: College of Engineering, Northeastern University


The following is posted by a friend, but I agree with what he's saying, so
follow up to me anyway.

Make history this year...

BE SURE TO VOTE AND VOTE THE DEMOCRATIC TICKET!!

Tell six friends to tell six friends to tell six friends, etc., etc.,

to get out and vote and make those votes votes for Clinton/Gore....

It's time for a change that's long overdue...


--
Lisa Caroline Lewis   		    Our country, right or wrong.  
lcl@csa.bu.edu      -or-	    When right, to be kept right; 
lcl@meceng.coe.northeastern.edu     when wrong, to be put right.
                  	             - Carl Schurz, January 17, 1872
From: paul@music.sie.arizona.edu (Paul J. Sanchez)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Danny & I at the shuttle launch
Date: 14 Sep 92 22:00:37 GMT
Organization: University of Arizona UNIX Users Group

Eric Sieferman writes
> [some other stuff, followed by...]
> 
> BTW, isn't one of Dan-o's many duties (busy, busy, busy...)
> is to be on some sort of Space Advisory Council or some
> other science-related committee?

As vice president, he is titular head of NASA.  That makes his  
pronouncements about Mars all the more frightening, since he came out with  
that one after a month of NASA briefings!  (If you don't know what I'm  
talking about, pick up the Quayle Quotes file which is broadcast on a  
regular basis here.)

--paul
From: aa680@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Vern Morrison)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Tucker's e-mail
Date: 7 Sep 1992 05:16:26 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: aa680@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Vern Morrison)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, mitch@lsil.com (Mitch Sako) says:

     ["leave Tucker alone" sentiments, which with I agree, deleted]
>
>BTW, how do you know that Tucker is a republican?  If he has any brains,
>he's probably not.

     If he has any brains, he's DEFINITELY not.  But you must admit brains
don't exactly run in that family.

 

-- 
     Vern Morrison              |    "It's the damage that we do and
     aa680@po.cwru.edu          |     never know/It's the words that
     vern@cray.csuohio.edu      |     we don't say that scare me so"
     Parma, Ohio: the 'burbs    |        --Elvis Costello
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: d89-jsp@nada.kth.se (Arthur Sparrendahl)
Subject: Re: Danny's Adventures in Oslo was Re: Does anyone have Transcript of today's CNN Interviev
Organization: Royal Institute of Technology, Stockholm, Sweden
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 16:27:40 GMT

In article <CINDY.92Aug22154500@solan10.solan.unit.no>, cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:

|> Dan Q. was sent to represent the US at the funeral of King Olav,
|> who died in 1991.  (A few hours before the air war portion of the
|> Gulf War began, actually.)  Now, on the morning of the funeral, the
|> respresentatives and the mourners were all to walk from the Palace
|> to the Cathedral, in an open procession behind the casket.  The
|> US State Department said they considered that a "high security risk"
|> and said Quayle would not be participating.

Surprise, surprise. Close to all leaders of the western world was 
walking behind that casket but it was but the Norwegian crowds were too
dangerous for Jebediah as if the world would miss him. IF any terrorist 
would have succeeded in anything it would have been close to jackpot.
A Jebediah more or less wouldn't matter. Besides king Olav once joked 
about him having four million bodyguards and it looked like about half
a million of them were there (with a large portion of the Norwegian 
army) Next time Q, bring roller skates, that will be an 
improvement in style.



Commonly in diplomacy you try to suck every drop of juice from a 
funeral. Normaly governments send their best minds because it is 
a great opportunity to get something done when the public isn't
expecting anything. But someone with some sort of a brain might 
have followed JDQ to Norway. (Millie?)

Arthur


|> -Cindy Kandolf
|>  cindy@solan.unit.no
|>  Trondheim, Norway

PS 
	The son of our prime minister puked on
	Jebediahs collar.
							DS
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.elections
From: madhaus@netcom.com (Maddi Hausmann)
Subject: Re: Polls R Us
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 92 19:48:17 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
Distribution: na
Keywords: horserace, poll, kick the bastards out

More good news from the Cultural Elite Distribution Centre (CNN).
Formerly-disgraced-but-attempting-rehabilitation-ex-President Nixon
advised Bush and Quayl to forget California and concentrate on
Illinois and New Jersey.

The last California poll I saw had Clinton ahead by 35 points.

Bush is losing in Orange County, the home of Republican Family Values,
where Republicrats outnumber Democans 5 to 3.  If he can't carry this
county, he is truly out of touch with his supporters.

Also, a recent SJ Mercury News story did a state by state analysis
trying to guess the electoral vote trend rather than the popular
vote.  Bush/Quayl leads no state by more than 5 points (the statistical
error).  Important swing states included Texas (heck, they still might
go for Perot!)

Finally, the yuppie-discussion-at-parties meter shows that no one
will *admit* they are planning to vote for Bush.  I have not seen
ONE Bush/Quayl bumper sticker (plenty of Clinton/Gore, and old Perots).
A discussion with some California Republican League folk (the liberal
wing) shows mass defection coming.

The party's over.


-- 
Maddi Hausmann                madhaus@netcom.com
Humorist, Satirist, Tech Writer.  Take your pick.

Centigram Communications Corp, San Jose California  408/428-3553
From: yuna@athena.mit.edu (Yuna Huh)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: CIA
Date: 9 Sep 92 06:01:55 GMT
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology


Does anyone know what Bush did while he was the director of the CIA?

Yuna Huh

"I am a member of no organized party.  I am a Democrat."  --Will Rogers
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: erics@sco.COM (eric smith)
Subject: Re: family values
Organization: The Santa Cruz Operation, Inc.
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 18:44:16 GMT


asurpren@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (aimee surprenant) writes:

>I was saddened by Hillary Clinton being forced to have a "bake-off" 
>with Barbara Bush and sickened by Marilyn Quayle's attacks on her 
>and the rest of the world of working mothers.

As someone pointedly observed: the Republicans have spent the last
12 years ensuring that an American family cannot survive in this
society unless it has two incomes, and now they have the gall to
criticize working mothers!

-----
Eric Smith	    | "If a frog had wings, he wouldn't hit his tail
erics@sco.com	    |     on the ground.  'If.'  Too hypothetical."
erics@infoserv.com  | - George Bush, on extending unemployment benefits
CI$: 70262,3610	    |
From: elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: worthless comic strips
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 92 18:27:58 CDT
Organization: Minas Tirith BBS (Public Access Usenet for New Orleans)

coolidge@speaker.wpd.sgi.com (Don Coolidge) writes:

> In article <t6tn+!q.mvp@netcom.com>, mvp@netcom.com (Mike Van Pelt) writes:
> |>
> |> What do you mean "if"?  Doonsbury regularly features that sort of
> |> humor.  The "invisible George" stuff, the "invisible except for
> |> levitating white feather Danny" stuff, the "In Search of Reagan's
> |> Brain" series.  Trudeau can by hysterically funny, and often is, but
> |> just as often, he spews hatred onto the comic page and calls it
> |> 'humor'.  He seems incapable of being funny about the people he hates.
>
> To be totally fair, Mike, you should have said that *you* find him
> incapable of being funny about the people he hates. Personally, I thought
> the "Reagan's Brain" series was a jewel from beginning to end, and I
> chuckle smugly each time I see either an empty panel or a feather
> talking, knowing just how much those characterizations irk their namesakes.
>
> Political satire. Ya gotta love it. Except when it hits close to home.
> Which tells you it's effective :^)
>
>
> Don Coolidge
>
> (But I *do* find Uncle Duke boooring...)

I thought that the '88 stuff on Bush was hysterical.  The whole bit with Trump
taking the yacht down here to New Orleans, Bush getting locked up in the wine
cellar of the Princess while his 'evil twin' went on the campaign trail, Duke
being the captain of the Princess, this was great stuff.  I actually think that
Trudeau likes Bush even less than he did Nixon.

Unfortunately, I think that Trudeau sees Our Boy as a mear spot on the
pavement, since that's about how much attention Dano gets.

BTW, Uncle Duke hasn't been really funny since he started saying 'no.'



>Edward J. Branley         elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us<
>Seashell Software, Metairie, LA            +1-504-455-5087<
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: acbonin@unix.amherst.edu (Adam Bonin)
Subject: Request: Quayle, Bush Quotes
Organization: Amherst College
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 22:53:10 GMT


As President of the Amherst College Democrats, we'd like to put up a daily
Bush/Quayle quote of the day in our campus center, humourous of course.  If
there is a compiled list out there for either one, could someone please send
it to me?  Thanks.

-:adam bonin 
  amherst college

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: williams@herky.cs.uiowa.edu (Kent Williams)
Subject: Re: A Simple Question
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 16:28:34 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: University of Iowa, Iowa City, IA, USA

From article <1992Sep9.155838.26178@umbc3.umbc.edu>, by alex@engr3.umbc.edu (alex):
> In article <1992Sep9.132740.19009@news.uiowa.edu>, williams@herky.cs.uiowa.edu (Kent Williams) writes:
> 
> |> good man. George Bush is a completely unprincipled, cynical,
> |> unimaginative boob in the grand tradition of J Edgar Hoover and
> |> Richard Nixon.
> 
> 	Urp. Well, excuse me for suggesting it. I sincerly apologize. Really.
> 
> 	I think your wrong about Nixon, though. He had lots of imagination.
> All of it twisted.
> 

Actually, I was a little hard on Nixon, who was nominally a Quaker also.
He was a gangster, but he was a better president (arguably) than anyone
who came after him.  Ford was inert, Carter misguided, Reagan braindead,
and Bush a puddle of steaming snot.  Nixon occasionally tried to do something
positive, in between plotting the downfall of his enemies and hugging
Sammy Davis Jr.
--
Kent Williams -- williams@cs.uiowa.edu
"I'm tired of being nice to people who're full of shit" -- Me
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Abortion is Stealing! (was Re: DATELINE: Bush fucks up!)
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 11:29:46 GMT

In article <92250.171137KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu> Kurt Ludwick <KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>In article <1992Sep4.145554.12338@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>,
>pat@sphinx.phys.Virginia.EDU (pat walsh) says:
>
>>Somebody already pointed it out a week or two ago, but it bears repeating.
>>The key phrase in GHHB's answer was "well, who else's choice would it be?".
>>This is the very definition of the pro-choice position.
>
>No.  The pro-choice position states that we should accept whatever decision
>a person makes, regardless of whether it's right or wrong.  I would hope that
>the distinction is an obvious one.
>

Um, the distinction is not clear to me.  Let's see, Bush's grandaugher has
a decision to make.  It's the same decision any other pregnant woman would
make.  Whatever your views on abortion, both of them can either make a right
decision or a wrong decision.  Bush stated that he would support his grand-
daughter's decision.  So he's accepting the decison his grandaghter makes
whether it's right or wrong.  So I don't get the distinction.

Of course, I'm just a silly Democrat - I still haven't figured out how
slashing social programs, health care & education while giving tax
breaks to the rich benefits the poor.  

Jenny


-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is    :  I don't want to set the world
      Jenny Gutbezahl @          :   on fire, only Hoboken
    Univ. of Mass, Amherst       : 
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3433 alt.politics.bush:4370
From: jason@ab20.larc.nasa.gov (Jason Austin)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush
Subject: "Liberal" - A Misnomer
Date: 8 Sep 92 20:12:29 GMT
Reply-To: Jason C. Austin <j.c.austin@larc.nasa.gov>
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center, Hampton, VA

In article <1992Aug31.190506.11570@sco.COM> erics@sco.COM (eric smith) writes:
-> barnejd@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
-> 
-> >Let's face it - the term "liberal" is a misnoner.
-> 
-> Let's face it, all political labels are misnomers. They're only invented
-> as buzzwords to influence voters on the hope that either voters will be
-> attracted to certain candidates or that they will be led away from them
-> through the wide brushstroke of a certain political label.
-> 
-> The use of labels like "liberal", "conservative", "pro-(fill-in-the-blank)",
-> "anti-(fill-in-the-blank)", "(fill-in-the-blank) extremist", etc., etc.,
-> only serves to deflect attention from what the candidates really stand for,
-> what they are really saying, and what the real issues are.
-> 
-> Both Democrats and Republicans are guilty of this practice, both historically
-> and in this present election year. However, one can usually tell which side
-> is more politically (and morally) bankrupt by the corresponding volume of
-> smoke thrown up in the form of label-throwing. This year there's an absolute
-> domination of this field by the Republicans, as anyone who sat through at
-> least one minute of the Republican Convention can attest to. Four years ago
-> they used this technique to great advantage, and an election victory, and
-> this year, with nothing else to say, they've abandoned any attempt at
-> discussion of real issues, to be replaced exclusively by political
-> name-calling and label-throwing.


	Words mean things, and the terms liberal and conservative
designate a general politcal philosophy.  A conservative believes in a
reduction of government and traditional values while a liberal
believes in the expansion of government to supply everyone with
everything they need.  Both of these terms are more extreme than most
people are, but they give a direction and philisopical background to
making moderate decisions.  Picking a side and calling them
label-throwing is label-throwing in itself and completely void of any
issue discussion.


	Here's my general reasoning for believing it's time for a more
conservative government:

	Historically, a left wing society is economically inefficient
and is much too permissive of criminal and anti-social behavior.  A
right wing society is highly efficient but is too inflexible in
defining morality.

	Looking at the problems in the US, my conclusion is that the
government is a little bit left of where it should be.  The economy is
lacking in efficiency, the crime rate has soared due to lack of crime
deterrents, and kids are failing out of school and getting involved in
drugs, because it is socially acceptable to do so.  This tells me it's
time to push the government a little to the right; voting for Bush may
not do this, but it will prevent the government from sliding even
farther in the wrong direction.
--
Jason C. Austin
j.c.austin@larc.nasa.gov
From: hans@Software.Mitel.COM (Hans Johnsen)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Name That Weapon (was Re: "I can even forgive Bush...")
Date: 10 Sep 92 13:08:28 GMT
Organization: Mitel. Kanata (Ontario). Canada.

pat@sphincts.phys.Virginia.EDU (pat walsh) writes:

>(P.S. -  Anybody got an idea how to do a deer-in-the-headlights smiley?)

how about these:
O O      O O     * *    ^
 <        _\      V     7
 U       \/       U    o o
-- 
Take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete
and firing an Uzi, and terrified citizens will phone the police and
report: "There's a naked person outside!" - Mike Nichols
From: biddleco@mizar.usc.edu (Susan Biddlecomb)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Dan Advertises for Murphy Brown Reruns!
Date: 10 Sep 1992 11:02:36 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: mizar.usc.edu

a P.S. to my last post:

A friend just mentioned that the logical counter-promo to Quayle's Murphey
Brown promo would be an interview with Candace Bergen where she is asked 
who she's voting for for President and she says "Bush and Quayle .....NOT!"

That one was pretty obvious.

Can anyone think of any other standing President or Vice President who has
made a TV commercial (besides campaign stuff) while in office?

Susan

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: bwolfe@trentu.ca (BEN WOLFE)
Subject: Re: Bye Bye Dan
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Trent University Computer Services Department
Distribution: na
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1992 15:33:00 GMT

In article <92247.202316KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu>, Kurt Ludwick <KEL111@psuvm.psu.edu> writes...
>>>  So what is going to happen to this thread when Dan is gone?  Who are we
>>>gonna laugh at?  Who is going to be the new Dan Quayle for the next 4
>>>years.
> 
>Well, if the Democrats win, Gore is every bit as laughable as Quayle.
>If not more.

From a Canadaian perspective, Al Gore is seen as a bit of a visionary, on
the environment in particular. His environmental views are my main reason
for sitting here quietly and hoping for a Democratic victory south of the
border.

It's a bit mind-wrenching, not to mention terrifying, to listen to Bush
try to make support of the environmnet anti-American in 1991 as the globe
warms and the ozone thins.

Ben Wolfe
Peterborough, Ontario

Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:3383 talk.politics.misc:43887 ba.politics:5060 talk.politics.theory:4054 alt.politics.elections:12474 alt.politics.perot:1401 alt.politics.clinton:4130 alt.politics.bush:4155
From: labc-1ad@e260-3b.berkeley.edu (Eric van Bezooijen)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,talk.politics.misc,ba.politics,talk.politics.theory,alt.politics.elections,alt.politics.perot,alt.politics.clinton,alt.politics.bush
Subject: Quayletool V1.1 is now available...
Date: 5 Sep 1992 07:00:57 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berzerkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: e260-3b.berkeley.edu
Keywords: quayle, program, ftp

Yes folks! It's here, new and improved! The complete tool to go along with our
VP.  Features :

	o Dozens of quotations from Dan-o
	o You can have a different quote come up every 2 minutes (or every
	  second, or every day, whatever you want)
	o A picture of Dan Quayle
	o When you press "talk" his mouth moves and reads of the quotes!
	o Sorry, no sound :-(
	o You can edit Danny's picture (draw Moustaches, change hair-do), etc.
	
Quayletool V1.1 is available from soda.berkeley.edu by anonymous ftp.
Look for the directory : ~ftp/pub/quayletool.
This is a public domain program.

There are two versions now :

1) An OLIT version.  You must be running OLIT and OpenWindows to run this.
I can't guarantee this to work, since I made some improvements to it after
I lost access to OLIT (So I couldn't test it).  The old, 1.0 version is still
in the directory (called quayletool.tar.Z).  If anyone would offer me a 
temporary account on their machine, so I could make it work, I could get this
all fixed up :-)

2) An Athena version.  Looks nasty, and not very elegant (I used this an 
opportunity to learn the Athena widget set).  But will work on any system
running X11R4 and higher.  This is called quayletool.athena.Z.

Mail complaints, bugs, suggestions, etc., to :

	eric@soda.berkeley.edu

Enjoy !

-- 
"And do you know what's inside ? A priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiize !" - Stimpy
"You gave away ... FORTY-SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS ?" - Ren Hoek
Ren & Stimpy: On Nickolodeon,Sunday mornings @ 11 AM.  Watch it, you eediot !
Eric van Bezooijen - eric@soda.berkeley.edu, evb@logrus.eng.sun.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: tak@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov (Tom Kreitzberg)
Subject: Re: Danny & I at the shuttle launch
Organization: Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, CA
	<1992Sep14.220037.7653@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu>
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 00:57:18 GMT

Paul J. Sanchex writes:

> As vice president, he is titular head of NASA.

No, he's not head of NASA. He's chairman of the National Space
Council, or something like that, which means he can force the
NASA director to resign if he wants to, but his name isn't on 
NASA stationery (despite the coincidence of the Agency's 
recent return to the "meatball" logo). I don't think the vice
president is automatically appointed chairman of the NSC, but
Qualye has always been a space buff, so it's something he enjoys.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: cortez@milton.u.washington.edu (Tom Warner)
Subject: Re: The Comic Election: BC, Doonesbury &... Cerebus (was Re: worthle
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 13:51:53 GMT

elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley) writes:

>yamauchi@ces.cwru.edu (Brian Yamauchi) writes:

>> You're right.  Trudeau sometimes manages to be political and funny at
>> the same time; Hart almost never does.  Still, some of Trudeau's gags
>> fall into the blunt, flailing club category as well (the invisible
>> president, etc).

>The invisible Bush isn't in itself in the flailing club category.  Having the
>invisible Bush draped in the flag, or putting his manhood in a blind trust, is,
>however <g>.

Hey, I liked the invisible-Bush wrapping himself in a flag. Got a problem with
that?

Geeesh. What is with all this telling people what is and isn't funny?

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton