HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Nipple debate (was: Boss Peeve)
Date: 15 Sep 92 19:18:14 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1992Sep14.224604.4394@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>hosch2263@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
>
>>        However, for the record, I am a 38DD...
>
>	Congrats and all that -- you are Peevetowns official Ear-Warmer,
>just as soon as the Immigration and Employment officers get done with
>the paperwork.  You know how slow beurocracies can be sometimes...


Hm, I veto that. Just because a woman has large breasts does not mean
she is willing to share them.

As HR Droid, I nominate the lady as Peevetown Auto Garage Calendar Girl.

As I get to know her, I will ascertain exactly what she does in those
photos. For now, she is in a red sequinned gown and reclines on a car.
I will ascertain whether the car is a Lotus or a VW Bug in the future.


ER



--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: on men
Date: 10 Sep 1992 15:14:51 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg
Keywords: giant toilet bowls, rump deformities

(Laura Potler (PP4U)) writes:
>peeve: men who insist on going to the bathroom outdoors when there's
>	indoor facilities nearby.

Let me get this straight, potler:  If I'm in my back yard, I'm
supposed to go into the house and piss in some porcelain bucket?  Why?
Is this supposed to be one of those women's rights things?  Deal with
it.  Nobody's stopping you from doing the same, and it isn't my damn
fault that you can't do it without dropping trou.

Peeve: People, mostly women, that go apeshit if there isn't sanitary
porcelain facilities immediately available.

>obcuriosity: do you suppose that after years of wearing a wallet in
>	the same pocket, men's rumps start to deform to accomodate
>	the wallet?

Doubt it.  After years of carrying a purse, do women's shoulders get
little rain gutters in them?

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no
 heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain."  - John Moore
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: on men
Keywords: giant toilet bowls, rump deformities
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 19:49:13 GMT

peeve: men who insist on going to the bathroom outdoors when there's
	indoor facilities nearby.

obcuriosity: do you suppose that after years of wearing a wallet in
	the same pocket, men's rumps start to deform to accomodate
	the wallet?

-l "it's questions like this that keep me awake at night. sad, isn't it?" p

-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: Massachusetts (was Re: Boss Peeve)
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: McOlsen's Lutefisk Burgers -- one served.
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 03:06:07 GMT

 padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:
> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:

>>	Sadly, I refuse to enter Massachusetts for several reasons.  The
>>prime reason is that I don't like their laws.  A secondary reason is that
>>I don't like their drivers.  Finally, it's too damn far to drive just to
>>check out a pair of nipples.
>
>Point 1: You don't like their laws? What is THAT supposed to mean?

	Just what it says.  I don't like their laws.  For one thing,
they refuse to let me carry my ObGun legally, which is a sure sign
they don't think the citizens are responsible people.  I can sort of
understand this based on their driving, but then again allowing
passing in the break-down lane on the turnpikes during rush-hour is
an inane law and serves no purpose.  Idiots who do this and run into
a bridge would have been removed from the gene pool anyway, law or no.

>Point 2: Perhaps you Iowans can't handle roads that aren't laid out
>	in a nice grid and don't run straight for 14 miles?

	Actually, I had a great time on the two-lane blacktops that
went through what I'm sure they thought was a forest, but had the
added excitement of blind driveways every hundred feet or so.  Lots
of twists and turns, presumably meant to be taken on horseback at
one time, but now perfectly suited to losing tire tread on.  I
never did see another pair of lights behind me for long, with the
exception of a minivan driver who tried to tailgate me but kept
falling way behind on the corners.  I probably should have driven
a bit faster, but I was already ten above the limit and wanted to
enjoy the sights a bit.

>Point 3: While 1000 miles may be too far, it doesn't qualify as a
>	REASON you wouldn't want to come here. Walt Disney World
>	is too far to drive to see a nice pair, but I'll drive
>	there anyway for other reasons.

	And just what else, besides the USS Constitution, is there to
see in MA?  At the time, April was there, but now she's back in Iowa
and, quite frankly, Disney World is too far to drive just to spend
money at Disney World.  Datona Bike Week is worth it, Mickey Mouse
is not.  Besides, at Daytona one usually gets to see a nice pair
of jugs on many females and motorcycles too.  Hey, I'm an equal-
opportunity gawker.

--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Massachusetts (was Re: Boss Peeve)
Date: 15 Sep 92 02:56:42 GMT
Organization: Legion of Cheese

In article <1992Sep15.000607.1542@cs.yale.edu> yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin) writes:
>It's a floating museum now.  The Navy sold it for scrap; fortunately the
>people who bought it had no intention of scrapping it.  It is currently
>parked in Fall Harbor, MA, along with a submarine of WW2 vintage and a 1960s
>destroyer.

Correction: It's Fall *River*, MA. For the geographically-challenged, hold
your arm in the Chain-Pulling-Motion-o'-Approbation (tm). Imagine your arm
is Cape Cod. Your armpit is Fall River. This is both geographically- and
methaphorically-correct.

Peeve: Fall River, MA. When I was a kid this town was always under 
construction. I mean *always*. The only cool part about going to Fall River
was that my great aunt lived in the house next to Lizzie Borden's (the
lady who gave her mom and dad that loving touch with a hatchet).

Nowadays, Fall River is filled with factory outlet stores. Subsequently,
the streets are filled with clueless drivers searching for small road signs
and not watching for things like where stop signs are. Usually they end up 
asking directions from the cops who are directing traffic around the parts
of the road which are still under construction.

-- 
"This cemetery bites it."  --Chris Baldwin
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Subject: Re: on men
Originator: yarvin@cathy.CS.Yale.Edu
Keywords: giant toilet bowls, rump deformities, turgid ManTools(tm)
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 01:01:30 GMT

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>Whenever I think of women going wee-wee outdoors, without benefit of
>ground support equipment, I think of that story of the Cornell student
>(female, one each) who tried to pee off a pedestrian bridge on campus
>on her way home from a party one winter evening and ended up falling 
>into a ravine, landing on a raccoon.

A couple of months ago, I walked by an old couple who were on the other side
of the road.  While I watched, the woman stepped off the sidewalk, squatted
slightly, and proceeded to piss onto the grass.  At least I assume it was
piss that I saw.  The whole event was rather discreet; the woman was wearing
a dress, and apparently did not have to bother rearranging anything under
the dress in order to take a leak.

I assume the reason for this astonishing display was either (a) senility, or
(b) incontinence.

--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
	"Honesty is the rarest commodity in this university."
		- V. I. Fabrikant, Concordia U.
From: mzraly@ra.cs.umb.edu (The Generic Poster Strikes Again)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Date: 12 Sep 92 04:45:51 GMT
Organization: UMass/Boston Dept. of Math & CS

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:

	[...]

>Peeve: uys who generaliz about women.  Myself, I work best in temperatures
>below 50 degreesF.  Not only does it keep me from falling asleep at the
>terminal, but it makes my nips perk up in a most attractive manner.

Anyone taking bets on how long before someone asks for a GIF?

(Won't be me -- I have no facilities for viewing 'em)

ObPeeve: Companies like the security outfit for which I work that give
monthly bonuses to supervisors who carry no unbillable overtime in a
given month.  Leads to shenanigans like trying to get people to leave
work early or come in late in lieu of being paid OT for being relieved
late.  This is not only illegal but stupid -- my shift has already
contracted to the point where any emergency would leave us underhanded
(well some of us are that anyway), so leaving a post empty to pay out
OT is really asking for trouble.

!Peeve: After 4 months of bitching I finally got the OT pay due me.
And wonder of wonder I still have my job after threatening to take the
case to the state AG's office...

Peeve-and-a-half: If I had known more about VAX and VMS two years ago,
I could've had a job working for a bank in Bermuda.

Nerdy-!Peeve: that would have meant working with VMS all the time...

-- Mike

-- 
Mike Zraly		If you wanna end war 'n' stuff, you gotta
mzraly@cs.umb.edu	sing LOUD!	-- Arlo Guthrie
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Dreams (was: Holiday peeve)
Date: 14 Sep 92 16:30:14 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:

>In article <25817@castle.ed.ac.uk> fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
>=>dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton) writes:
>=>
>=>>p.s. Micheal Moorcock sucks. [Does he still have anything to do
>=>>with Hawkwind?]
>=>
>=>I guess this one's for me ;-)

>Since you're an expert on things that suck, right?

>=>Peeve: To-Read piles.

>Don't complain to *us* about your piles, Holmes!

....and Jeremy is the expert on being a pain in the arse...

FoFP

Peeve: when you go away for a week and come back to 200 new mail
messages *and* you know that there'll be at least as many alt.peeves
articles.

So has this show where Clinton gets interviewed byboth P.J.O'Rourke and
Hunter S.Thompson happened yet? And can anyone mail me a PAL copy?
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bfrrelly@unix2.tcd.ie (Jerry Cornelius)
Subject: Stupid Cycling Helmets!!!
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 08:36:54 GMT


     BEEEE BAWWWW BEEE BAWWWWWW (Alleged siren sound)

  PLEASE PULL OVER....Style Police madam, please remove that offensive 
helmet from you're cranium, people in the vicinity have objected....

   No, but really, why oh why oh why do certain cretins insist on
wearing those stupid cycling helmets even though they have long since 
left their bicycles. This morning alone, I have seen 3 people wandering
around with these offensive articles On their nuts, I mean, Christ,
nobody could overloOk the fact that they have more poltstyrene on their
head than you could point a fucking stick at!!!! I'm tempted to get a
large mirror and making them see reason..."Look at the fucking head on
you, shitforbrains, you obviously do not need to protect you're head,
cos there is nothing up there if you would walk around looking like
that!". 

BonusPeeve: Talking about protection, parents finding a packet of
condoms in my room. Then, when quoting the standard 'Just in case.."
excuse, being informed that absolutely *nobody* gets packs of 12 just in
case....

ExtraBonusPeeveOfTheYear: Parents getting twice as freaked on finding
that I was back on the smokes!!! I mean, whats the world coming to...

AntiPeeve: Got word to say that we have got free accomidation for my
forthcoming holiday in London, in a, wait for it *HOTEL*!!!! Fuck me,
and I was happily contemplating kipping on the floor of peoples flats, 
ahhhh the lap of luxury.....


HolidayPeeve: Going on Nov 4th, with friends to see Julian Cope in the
Town and Country, friends are big Cope fans, I'm not so fussed. But
check this, the only other gig within long range farting distance of Nov
4th is Genisis...........I nearly shit myself with excitment (SARCASM).


Clothing Peeve: I've just discovered an extra hole in my fave jeans,
appart from they are supposed to contain.... and it is a bit on the
chilly side today!!!!!

21stBirthdayPressiePeeve: I'm going to a 21st tonight, and have been
asking everybody what to buy, reminding them that the guy is deaf. About
half of the people asked suggested getting a gift token for the Virgin
Megastore, a large record/musical equipment store here in Dublin, I mean
fuck me, did I just say he was fucking deaf or what.....

AddedNoCanDoPeeve: Being overcome with the sudden desire to get
extermely drunk, be totally obnoxious to lots of people and rounding off
the night by getting violently sick on somebody's head. Alas, I am
saving for my holiday.....


                        Brian.

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf)
Subject: Re: Stupid Cycling Helmets!!!
Organization: /home/ludviga/cindy/.organization
Date: 12 Sep 92 17:48:30

Yeah.  Odin forbid anyone would forget something so basic as Agreeing
With Mr. Cornelius' Fashion Sense.  In fact, just to make sure
_you_ don't commit this terrible blunder, leave your helmet at home!
What's the danger of riding through busy city traffic with no
protection for your skull compared to the danger of being considered
a "dork" by a guy who is so incredibly cool he tries to see how many
times he can work the word 'fuck' into a single post?

Jerry, have you ever heard of A Sense Of Proportion?

Try some deep breathing exercises....

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondheim, Norway

We're looking for a little, bewildered girl.
From: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Date: 14 Sep 92 12:23:51 GMT
Reply-To: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (ObTerrorist)
Organization: The Exploding Hot Drink


In article <mhart.716466126@blackjack> Michael Hart writes:
> 
> In <1992Sep12.233824.16556@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
> 
> >probably, but then again I figured Claudio to look like Gene Simmons.
> 
> Hmmm.  I never really thought about it, but this does seem _right_,
> somehow.  Perhaps Gene Simmons with 25 extra pounds around the gun belt.

Look, people, it is *safer* for you all to stop talking about
my presumed appearance *now* that I can't be bothered to come
there with a load of ObBombs. If you are still talking about
it when my guests from outer space go away, on the other hand,
you might regret it.

--
The ObTerrorist
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (I would like to return this TOBACCONIST; it is scratched)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Caffeine and mornings(was alt.alien.visitors)
Date: 13 Sep 92 18:07:28 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:

>	Caffeine, the 100% natural replacement for sleep.

>	The phrase "Lights out in a coal mine" would describe my morning
>stimulant.  

Black and sweet, just like my woman.
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
From: ChazL@county.lmt.mn.org (Chaz Larson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Amex traveler's checks
Date: 14 Sep 92 17:49:19 GMT
Reply-To: ChazL@county.lmt.mn.org (Chaz Larson)
Organization: LaserMaster Corporation

Oooooo, boy.  I see this ad on TV every day, and it's really getting on my 
nerves...

Picture of tropical island [or Paris in the other case] - voiceover comes in:
"You're over here [arrow points to beach]; he's got the traveler's checks 
over here [arrow points to golf course several miles away] - big problem..."

and goes on to tout the incredible value of traveler's checks with two 
signatures, so that both Mr. and Mrs. Vacationer can cash them.  OK, probably 
a fine idea in some limited circumstances.  But, [here's my beef] NOT IN THE 
SITUATION DEPICTED IN THE AD!!!!  If he has the traveler's checks five miles 
away, it doesn't matter whose fucking signature[s] is [are] on them.  She 
can't cash them anyway.  I suppose Amex would suggest that you split them up, 
but then why not just get two batches in the first place, half with her sig 
and half with his?  

I feel better now.

chaz

..must think...bubble pipe will relax me and I think...
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: shafer@rigel.dfrf.nasa.gov (Mary Shafer)
Subject: Re: Anatomy
Organization: NASA Dryden, Edwards, Cal.
	<1992Sep11.203149.21923@news.iastate.edu>
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 00:17:46 GMT

On Fri, 11 Sep 1992 20:31:49 GMT, z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) said:

Dan> reid@metis.tti.com (Reid Kneeland) writes:

>"Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live
> in the real world."   -- Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden
>
>Just how many balls does Mary Shafer have, anyway?

As many as it takes, babycakes.

Dan> 	BTW: I have a GIF of her climbing out of what looks like a T-38,
Dan> but it could be an F-105 (been a while since I looked at that picture),

It's a McDonnell F-4E Phantom II.

--
Mary Shafer  DoD #0362 KotFR NASA Dryden Flight Research Facility, Edwards, CA
shafer@rigel.dfrf.nasa.gov                    Of course I don't speak for NASA
 "There's no kill like a guns kill." LCDR "Hoser" Satrapa, gunnery instructor
                       "A kill is a kill."  Anonymous
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC))
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 20:14:21 GMT

In article <92Sep14.173003.30998@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
>        *your* clothes. As a peevster, you are expected to have
>        the muscular physique and engorged ManTool(tm) of a
>        Young.God.at.the.Dawn.of.the.World(tm), which should then
>        make you irresistable. 

says who? nobody mentioned this to me when i moved to town.  

-l "i hate fine print" p
-- 
-lp  **********************************************************************
*   "the *ocean* is affected by the phases of the moon but men aren't?!"  * 
*							--Anne Tucker     *
***************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Huh?? )Was: Mea Culpa(
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 22:41:24 GMT

<In article <1992Sep13.003208.20233@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:

<   OK, I did it.  It was me (I? - screw that).  

	YOU? Nah, I don't believe it. Somebody else
	with access to lynx.unm.edu, mebbe.

<I sent the New Mexico
<peevers into the never-never land of the Sandias to look for a picnic
<ground that didn't exist.  

	HUH? 

ObPeeve: missed out, again.

<It was bad instructions, written when I was
<tired and I neglected one little thing: the name of the picnic
<grounds.  OK, one small other thing, I misspelled the name of the one
<near it as one a wee bit away, maybe 10-12 miles down.  Of course, no
<one mentioned any of these faults until *today*, after hunting for me
<and ER for a couple of hours.

	Hmmmm.

<But I had a very nice picnic, and I didn't have to share my beer with
<anyone other than ER, and she drinks very slowly.

	Forget that; did the rest of them catch any snipe
	or NOT?

<I'm still trying to understand why someone would come the radioactive
<New Mexico desert in a vacation...

	Heck, I'm still trying to understand this sentence
	(in a non-alt.tasteless way....) at all....

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: own private idaho
Date: Sat, 05 Sep 92 17:43:08 GMT
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Followup-To: alt.peeves

In article <1992Sep3.114838.656@dg-rtp.dg.com> A. Jing Hippy writes:

>Peeve: Shave your beard off and someone will inevitably walk up to you and
>say "Did you get a haircut?".

Worse: Introducing yourself to an acquaintance you haven't seen in a few
years and hearing: "Oh, sorry, I didn't recognize you with the beard,"
which translates to: "Oh, sorry, I don't remember ever seeing you in
this life," since your chin has been obscured by facial hair since the
first Nixon administration.

ObPeeve: Gratuitous dissemblage.

>|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |

-- 
Rick Gordon       | "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly
rickg@netcom.com  |  and I did.  I said I didn't know."  M. Twain
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: wasted time
Date: 8 Sep 92 22:58:19 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia

In article <1992Sep8.215651.28884@umbc3.umbc.edu> Laura Potler (GSFC) writes:

>i've seen considerably less political bumper stickers this year than in
>past election years. says something.

Indeed it does.  The reason the bumper stickers are less political is that
there are no political issues to so display.  Once you get past "If he's so
dumb, how come he's Vice President?", what have you got?

>-lp  **********************************************************************

-- 
Rick Gordon       | "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly
rickg@netcom.com  |  and I did.  I said I didn't know."  M. Twain