Newsgroups: soc.culture.china
Subject: Re: Relationship between WIFE and MOTHER-IN-LAW ...
From: <XXX100@psuvm.psu.edu>
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 23:54:46 EST
Organization: Penn State University
Supersedes: <92327.151620XXX100@psuvm.psu.edu>

 >Subject: Relationship between WIFE and MOTHER-IN-LAW ...
 >From: ZXIONG@arizvm1.ccit.arizona.edu (Zhongguo Xiong)
 >Date: Sat, 21 Nov 92 13:03:43 MST
 >
 >I have not noticed any discussion on this topic here. Would any one like
 >to comment on the relationship between your wife and your mother?

            A lot of topics haven't been discaussed here,
            such as relations among you and mother-in-law,
            and sister-in-law ( some call her Xiao3Y12Zi,
            later on evolved to Xiao3 Fei2Zao4, maybe in
            a not far future it will become some detergent series)
            and brother-in law (Xiao3 Shu1Zi, or ...)....
            Too many to be discussed,I guess.

 >
 >I am married and have two children. My mom loves to come to visit us and

            Congratulations.

 >see her grandsons. Every time I brough up possible visit of my mother, my wife
 >and I had a big argument, or even worse, fight (not a physical one). I have a
 >hard time to understand why women and their mother-in-law could not get along.
 >My situation is not unique. As far as I know, there are many examples of
mother
 >-wife inlaw fight.


       Lix said: Sheng1 Zai4 Jiang1 Hu2, Shen1 Bu4 You1 Ji3.


 >
 >My wife's arguments are that we will no longer have privacy, that I'll love
her
 >less when my mother is here, etc. Worse of all, she say she could not stand
how
 > much my mother loves and cares about me, which will make her jealous. BTW, my


           My godness. Does she have similar problem with
           your kids?



 >mother visited us a while back, and as expected they did not get along well.
 >But if her mother comes to visit us, everything will be fine according to my
 >wife. She said there would not be any problem with privacy. She even
threatened
 >to move out of the house if my mother comes to visits.
 >
 >Enlighten me, my fellow netters. I just do not understand why it is so dif-
 >ficult for a woman and her mother-in-law to live together. Could not they to-
 >lerate each other a little and make every body happy? I do loves my parent a
 >lot and definitely do not want to refuse them if they wish to visit us or
 >even to live with us. At the sametime, I do not want to create division with
 >my wife.
 >
 >Any suggestions, comments, or similar experiences?

              Sorry. Haven't got chance to enjoy the similar
              experience. That's fun.

              That's not the only difficulty in the world.
              Xiang3 Kai1 Dian(er).

              Your mam wants to see her grandsons (your sons).
              Your wife want you (her husband).

              That's wonderful. Let me, an ousider make some
              comments: 1) let your mam take care of your kids;
                            make her happy, right?
                        2) you stay with your wife;
                            make another her happy, right?
                        3) double layer doors or walls to keep
                           privacy;
                            have privacy happy, right?
                        4) Let your wife be proud of you, and your
                           mother ( since she has brought up a
                           so nice son and husband ).
                            Have your wife happy with your mam,right?
                        5) Keep both your wife and mom  bussy
                           to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
                           Don't abuse it.
                            Keep yourself happy, right?
                        6) Make your mom feel proud of  your
                           wife who has done so much for you
                           and your family and your mother ( who
                           can enjoy her grandsons at least).
                            Keep your mom happy with your wife & sons.
                         7) buy more toys,candies to kids;
                            Have your kids happy.
                         8) Finally everyone is happier, if
                            you have your family happy.


                         That's the toughest job in the world.
                         No one but you can get it done.
                         Bu2 Yao4 Gu1 Fu4 Dan3 he Ren1 Min1 de
                         Xi1 Wang4.
                         (Please don't let D-party & people down)
                         That's d-party all about, making everyone
                         feel happy.



 >
 >
 >Z. Xiong, very confused.

                        If you are confused, your wife
                        and mom are hardly clear.

                        X Xu