From: jude@solhaven.Eng.Sun.COM (Judy Potzler)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Re: How to Love Unconditionally (long)
Date: 19 Nov 1992 17:34:09 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems
Distribution: world
Reply-To: jude@solhaven.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: solhaven
Keywords: love recovery healing growth
Cc: mwk20@ccc.amdahl.com, jude@solhaven.Eng.Sun.COM


Michael,

Your posting, "How to Love Unconditionally; A Technical Manual,"
[included below for those who missed that genuinely helpful treasure]
inspired me to post the following, written by Louise Hay.  I found
this years ago and it resurfaced last year when I was struggling 
(unsuccessfully, alas) to keep my 12-Step recovery bookstore alive.  
Hope you enjoy!

Judy

======================================================================


                        HOW  TO  LOVE  YOURSELF

1.	STOP ALL CRITICISM.  Criticism never changes a thing.  Refuse 
to criticize yourself.  Accept yourself exactly as you are.  Everybody 
changes.  When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative.  
When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2.	DON'T SCARE YOURSELF.  Stop terrorizing yourself with your 
thoughts.  It's a dreadful way to live.  Find a mental image that gives 
you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your 
scary thought to a pleasure thought.

3.	BE GENTLE AND KIND AND PATIENT.  Be gentle with yourself.  
Be kind to yourself.  Be patient with yourself as you learn the new 
ways of thinking.  Treat yourself as you would someone you really 
loved.

4.	BE KIND TO YOUR MIND.  Self hatred is only hating your own 
thoughts.  Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts.  Gently change 
your thoughts.

5.	PRAISE YOURSELF.  Criticism breaks down the inner spirit.  
Praise builds it up.  Praise yourself as much as you can.  Tell 
yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

6.	SUPPORT YOURSELF.  Find ways to support yourself.  Reach out 
to friends and allow them to help you.  It is being strong to ask for 
help when you need it.

7.	BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES.  Acknowledge that you created 
them to fulfill a need.  Now you are finding new, positive ways to 
fulfill those needs.  So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8.	TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY.  Learn about nutrition.  What kind of 
fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality?  Learn 
about exercise.  What kind of exercise can you enjoy?  Cherish and 
revere the temple you live in.

9.	MIRROR WORK.  Look into your eyes often.  Express this growing 
sense of love you have for yourself.  Forgive yourself looking into 
the mirror.  Talk to your parents looking into the mirror.  Forgive 
them, too.  At least once a day, say:  "I love you, I really love you!"

10.	LOVE YOURSELF.  DO IT NOW.  Don't wait until you get well, or 
lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship.  Begin
now -- and do the best you can.

Copyright 1987, 1988 Louise L. Hay
Louise L. Hay Educational Institute, Santa Monica, CA  
(213) 394-7445


=======================================================================

In article 6cWD02q52a7201@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com, mwk20@ccc.amdahl.com 
(Michael W Knowles) writes:


>This was an assignment for me in the recovery center I went
>to.  Turns out it was my own Rx, and it has helped me very
>much.  I thought it might be of use to someone out there,
>so here it is.  Feel free to redistribute it in any form,
>provided you do so as is.
>
>                       How to Love Unconditionally:
>                           A Technical Manual
>           (C) 1992 Michael Knowles.  All Rights Reserved.
>
>
>
>1.  If you love yourself, review Step 2 then perform Step 3.
>
>    Otherwise, perform Step 2 before it's too late.
>
>2.  Learn to love yourself.  Perform the following steps until you 
>    die, and NO SKIPPING!
>
>    a.  Upon rising in the morning, look into a mirror and say,
>
>           You are okay just the way you are.  I love you.
>
>        Repeat 10 times.  Don't worry if at first you do not mean it.
>        You'll catch on.  If you feel you cannot look yourself in the 
>        mirror, surrender and do it anyway.  You've done crazier things
>        before, haven't you?  Lighten up and don't worry -- you'll 
>        catch on.
>
>        If you are so stubborn that you still can't look at yourself,
>        you have a lot of surrendering to do.  So do it -- where's the
>        harm?
>
>        If you believe that loving yourself is a bunch of hogwash, 
>        then you REALLY need to perform this step.
>
>        If you cry, perform this step 20 times.
>
>    b.  Should you feel worthless, pitiful, lonely, or stupid at any
>        time during the day, go back to Step 2a.  Oh, and ask someone 
>        you trust for a hug.
>
>    c.  Hug yourself.  If doing so seems unnatural, pick up the nearest 
>        pillow or teddy bear, give it your name, and hug it until the 
>        stuffing comes out.  If you cry, you're on the right track.  If 
>        you don't cry, you're on the right track.
>
>        If you are bashful or uncertain, do it alone.  Who's to know?  
>        If you feel silly, you are.  Now you really need to hug yourself.
>
>    d.  If you get hung up on things you want to change about yourself,
>        go back and perform Steps 2a through 2c.  Because you're okay 
>        just the way you are.
>
>        Anyway, you won't have much luck working on personality defects
>        unless you love yourself.  Defects are manifestations of unclear
>        thinking brought about by not loving yourself.
>
>    e.  Spend some time looking at anything in nature.  Observe its beauty.
>
>        Reflection:  Whatever made that beautiful made you beautiful, too.
>
>    f.  If you find yourself resisting, stop it.  Right now.  If you 
>        continue to resist, you will die in pain and loneliness.
>
>        If you like feeling pained and lonely, you are really hurting.  
>        Repeat Step 2a.
>
>        If you continue to resist, you are not making an effort.  What are
>        you anyway, a rotten person?  If you think so, you are thinking 
>        too much.  Repeat Step 2e until your resistance weakens.  Then go 
>        back to Step 2a and start again.  Pass Go and collect some good 
>        feelings.  It's okay to feel good -- no one but you has to know.
>
>    g.  If you are angry, sad, frustrated, tired, bored, or irritated, 
>        that's okay.  So long as you perform Steps 2a through 2f 
>        relentlessly, you'll be just fine.
>
>3.  You are ready to love now.  But if you've made it this far, you 
>    already know what to do.  Just remember one thing:  ask for 
>    nothing in return for your love.  Give it freely and often.
>    Don't worry if others resist it or resent you for it.  After all,
>    you're okay just the way you are.
>
>    But never stop performing Step 2.  Just in case.
>
>
>-- 
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>Michael Knowles                 Won't that road twist you up
>mwk20@amail.amdahl.com              like a rubber band?
>408-746-3305
>
>Standard disclaimer applies.  Bye Now...
>---------------------------------------------------------------------