From: uunet!infmx!hartman@ncar.UCAR.EDU (Robert Hartman)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: Women's and men's safety
Date: 22 Jan 93 08:27:36 GMT
Organization: Informix Software, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: remarque.berkeley.edu
Originator: muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu

After listening to a number of people talk about the different
perceptions of voluntary and involuntary risks, their rights as
law-abiding citizens to walk as they see fit, advice to women to appear
confident and alert, and so forth, it still strikes me that the
position of a man walking alone vs. that of a woman alone at night is
disproportionate.  Even if we suppose that men are equally prone to
being mugged at night (the statistics showing that more men are mugged
weighed against those showing that more men are out and about), men
generally don't have to be concerned with the additional risk of being
raped.  Now it may well be true that a mugging is just as traumatic as
a rape.  Not having experienced either, I really can't say.  But this
isn't the view on which our common assumptions are made.

For a man, the risk of going out at night appears to be more like a
personal train crash.  --Messy and painful, but generally repairable.
But for a woman, going out alone at night might appear more like a
personal Chernobyl.  --An utter disaster that cannot be undone.

Yes we all have rights.  And yes, men can choose to walk in whatever
fashion they like to assert their dignity when out alone at night.  But
if being a man means that I can't afford to take into consideration the
feelings of those around me, even if they're strangers, there's
something wrong.  I'm not acting like a criminal when I give a woman a
comfortably-wide berth.  I'm acting like a considerate person.  It
doesn't cost me a thing to do that.

I guess I'm secure enough in my dignity to understand and not take it
personally when a woman I don't know refuses to assume that I'm not a
rapist.  Because if she ever made that assumption about a man and
guessed wrong, it might torment her for the rest of her life.  Given
those stakes, and considering how much the opinion of a stranger I'll
never see again really matters to me, I can afford to be a good sport
about it.  If I behaved otherwise, I'd feel that I would be acting more
the criminal.

If a minor behavioral adjustment on my part can bring a huge sense of
relief to another person in my vicinity, why shouldn't I make it?
After having done this for a good many years now, I can tell you that
it's really no trouble at all.  And every once in a while, a woman
gives me an acknowledgement, which is very nice when it happens.

So I know that men are going to do what they're going to do.  As a man,
this is what _I_ choose to do.  I'm not saying other men should be
_forced_ to do it this way.  But I can't think of a single good reason
why a man shouldn't.  To me, saying you won't because you have rights
and you aren't a criminal just doesn't cut it.  That may be why
you don't _have_to,_ and I'm not advocating that you be forced to.

But really, is there any good reason why you _shouldn't?_

-r


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