From: dks@sr.com (Dave K. Sprow)
Subject: Re: Attention Advice Givers (ie HELP)
Reply-To: dks@srhqla.UUCP (Dave K. Sprow)
Organization: Silent Radio, Los Angeles
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 21:51:40 GMT

In article <14NOV199215474535@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov> casey@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov (Sean Casey GSFC (301)286-4558) writes:
>In article <92319.130842SXE105@psuvm.psu.edu>, S. Elwood <SXE105@psuvm.psu.edu> writes...
>> 
>> blah, blah, you guys know the references... (Sean Casey GSFC)
>> 
>>>It was then that I can up with this theory that women don't have a clue what
>>>it takes to find a date! Not a clue. And, after reading some of the advice
>>>I've seen on the net, it serves only to reinforce my convictions. Sure it take
>>>'two to tango', but someone (mostly the men) has to do the asking. And even
>>>then it takes 'careful planning and strategy' to keep them going. Anyone who
>>>think it's not a big game to find a SO is sadly mistaken.
>>>
>>>Your views to the contrary are more that welcome.
>>>
>>>SC
>>>
>> 
>> Well, you asked.  Frankly, I am quite offended at that remark.  Sure, I can
>>see how you might get the impression that women are passive in relationships,
>>but really they are far less passive than you might think.  I have been the
>>main instigator in MOST of my relationships with guys (ok, except one in High
>>School...), including my current one.  Last semester, I met Brian.  He casually
>>asked me out to a movie once, really not intending it to be a date.  However, I
>> took the initiative and turned it into one...we started dating about a week or
>> so later.  Ok, well, we broke up for a while over the spring and summer, but
>>then one of the first things I did this semester was let him know that I was
>>still very interested in dating him, and planned a number of our dates, this
>>semester.  In fact, we're going out this evening, and I have completely planned
>>this, he has absolutely no idea what we're doing.  After instigating this rel.
>>we have both made sure to take equal parts (and pride) in making it work.  He
>>plans sometimes, and so do I.  And we let each other know when we don't think
>>one of us is 'giving' enough.  Granted, ours is probably not the 'typical'
>>relationship (if such a thing exists) because I am not really a typical female,
>>but, this type of thing has occurrhas something to do with my sense of
>>'fairness' (which drives my brother crazy) in that, we both share planning, and
>>paying, and that way we both get more out  of the relationship.  Meanwhile,
>>you're thinking, ok, she's a radical feminist, blah blah.  No, actually I can't
>>stand feminists, they make me ill.  But, I wanted to let you know that there ARE
>>females out there that aren't just quiet little bumps in the relationship....I
>>can only hope that someday you'll meet one and understand what I mean....
>> 
>>                                                                 Stacy
>>-Remember Chivalry is not dead.  Or at least, it shouldn't be.
>> 
>
>Please don't take offense Stacy. You must note that most of the this discussion
>has to do with whether relations 'just happen' or whether one 'makes them
>happen'. My point is that most female postings stress the former while male
>postings stress the latter. Case in point, an earlier posting stated that
>relationships are serendipitous and that women are turned off by guys who
>are actively seeking relationships. I mean, what's a guy supposed to do?
>Be concerned but don't be over bearing? Care but don't care? (er, the answer
>is - be yourself...a biker slob from hell [;)]). I guess I'll believe that
>there are women interested directing relationships when they start asking
>guys out (for the first date - the initial encounter, that's the tough one!).
>
>So come on Gals, ask those sh_t kickers to dance! (I saw this at Gilly's...)
>
>SC (another bone-headed male perspective)
>

Sorry, but I couldn't take stuff out. Editor is not working properly.

1. As for your last statement.  I recently had a girl ask me out the
first time.  Met her at a club, we danced, and she asked me for my
phone number and called me a few days later.  Personally, I don't want
a "relationshio" right now, but I enjoy and going out with new people.

2. As a guy, I think relationships "just happen".  I've never actively
looked for one and I've had my share.  Actually, actual looking for one
connotes something kind of tacky to me...  I'm  not sure why...

Personally, I think it's the pheronomes, or however you spell. When I'm
ready or 'in the mood' for a relationship, I can *feel* ny energy change
somehow.  I know this sounds weird but I'm a pretty down to earth person
and I would swear this is true.  Anyway, then a relationship just seems
to "show up".  Anyway, one of the things I notice when this "energy"
is present is that I actually feel better looking than I do normally (Not
that I look bad, just kinda average), I feel sexier, I feel more confident,
all things that tend to be attractive to women.  It's kinda weird,
but I enjoy it :-)

Sometimes this seems to happen on its own, no outside stimulus.  Sometimes
it happens when I see someone who knocks my socks off :-)  (Not just
physically).

David S.


Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles