From: andrewg@yang.earlham.edu
Newsgroups: alt.rock-n-roll.metal
Subject: Thank YOU, Mr.Poseur-Exposer
Date: 26 Jan 93 21:57:08 GMT
Organization: Earlham College, Richmond, Indiana

Okay.  From on high, we recieve the dictum of some genetically defective 
(dig the death-metal/grind-core use of big scientific words there) 
buffoon, as to what bands out there we shouldn't listen to (never mind 
which bands we _should_ listen to, he won't help us there), and who we 
should flame for dropping their names in this here area of the net.  
	Interesting.  Let's break this down a bit.
	MORBID ANGEL- I saw them once, opening for SOD's final show (more 
about that later).  I wasn't impressed.  The singer used your basic 
death-metal or grind-core (what a _scary_ word!) vocal style, that is to 
say, the kind of singing that sounds like Cookie Monster getting into a 
fight with the Hamburglar (Me want Cookies!  Rubble rubble rubble!)  
	But you'll have to do more to convince me that "Posts by aby fans 
should be flamed" than to tell me that the guitarist's favorite band is 
Van Halen.  For me, that's a sign of hope.  At least one could listen to 
David Lee Roth and understand what he was singing, and the guitars used 
more than one riff per song, and the drummer didn't use about four 
floor-toms to be _scary!_  But that's a personal gripe I have about 
death-metal.  On to (hopefully) more universal appeals.
	ANTHRAX- guess what, Mr. Poseur-Exposer -- another of Scott Ian's 
favorite bands is The Ventures!  Do _you_ know who the Ventures were?  
They were an instrumental surf-rock band from the 1960's!  What a sissy 
band!  And Scott says that all speed-metal guitarists should listen to 
them!  So Anthrax must be super-poser now, right?  Wrong!  I mean, I never 
liked Anthrax that much either!  But you were being a dick!  And as for 
you and your "Everybody knows that black people can't produce good music," 
I guess your definition of "everybody" must include only yourself and your 
fellow Klan members, you dopey racist.  Because if you listen to _any_ 
kind of rock-related music at all, you have those untalented "black 
people" to thank for it.  Unless you listen to Cannibal Corpse.
	S.O.D.-  I saw their final reunion farewell show at the Ritz in 
NYC.  (That's me yelling on the CD during "United Forces.")  If they were 
a "poseur," wimpy, soft, pussy band, I guess Billy Milano wouldn't have 
started the show up on top of the 15-foot high stacks, flipped his lit 
cigar into the teeming pit below, and leapt off after it.  I guess they 
wouldn't have been able to, through the sheer Hardness of their 
performance, been able to turn the entire floor area of the Ritz, from the 
stage to the bar, into one massive pit.  I guess I just imagined all that. 
 In reference to your complaint that they "cover" a Joan Baez song, if 
you've actually heard the album, you'll know that it's only seconds long, 
and is more of a _joke_ than anything else.  Or isn't a truly hard, 
non-poseur band allowed to have a sense of humor?  Oh, sorry, I forgot, 
you listen to Cannibal Corpse.
	ANY SEATTLE BAND- you claim that "we all no [sic] that [drug use] 
is a non-problem."  Interesting.  I guess spelling is a non-problem, too.  
And please refer back to your definition of "everybody" when you use the 
word "we" before you start lumping your entire reading audience in with 
you and your ignorant pinhead friends.
	SLAYER- oh, I'm tired of this.  I had stuff to say, but never mind.
	DANZIG- ooh, all those SLOW SONGS!  Not GOOD, FAST, HARD songs!  I 
guess if a musician wants to experiment with his medium, maybe take a risk 
on something and lose a few fans, he or she must be a poser.  Interesting. 
 I wonder if you could call him a poser to his face.  I sort of doubt it.
By the way, I noticed that your sig quote was from the Misfits.  If you 
can call Glenn Danzig a poser after creating what was arguably the finest 
punk band ever, you have a screw loose, pal.  Plus, that quote is from a 
very hard-to-find album by the Misfits called "Beware."  The more 
available version of the song is the Metallica one -- but they, being on 
MTV every hour, selling out to the Top 40, touring with Guns 'n Roses, 
didn't seem to make your list.  Interesting.
	Finally, Glenn's album of "classical" music was inspired by reading 
Milton's classic work, _Paradise Lost._  You might want to check it out, you 
might like it.  But you don't read, do you; you listen to Cannibal Corpse.
	I'll close this piece up by urging you to tke a step back; you're 
not such a big deal that everyone on the net needs you to tell us what we 
"can" or "can't" listen to, or who we "should" flame.  As Rollins said, 
"Get a grip," son.  And if Rollins is a poser, than I'm a fucking cheese danish.

						Andrew

P.S.  Sorry if I offended any death-metal or grind-core fans out there; 
nothing personal.  Unless you listen to Cannibal Corpse.