HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason))
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: BAH! HUMBUG! (was Re: Christmas is busting out all over!)
Date: 30 Sep 92 19:27:01 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture

In article <keulen.717828254@possum>, keulen@possum.csu.murdoch.edu.au
(Mike van Keulen) writes:
> 
> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals) writes:
> 
> >"After all, 31 oct = 25 dec."
> 
> Splash groans and rushes to the bar ... he grabs the nearest bowl of peanuts
> and hurls them accurately, and Speaker-to-Mineral's face temporarily disappears
> in a haze of peanuts.
> 
> I may only be a biologist with the barest minimum of computer training, but I
> managed to work that one out!
> 
> Splash!
> 

<Jason looks up from the screen of his powerbook, and chuckles.>

Hey Splash!! What's the matter? It was just a bit of -base- humor, right?
Or was that two bytes? Well, I guess that's my two bytes worth on this
topic.

---------------
If life is a soap opera, where is the channel
changer?
From: jane@soave.swdc.stratus.com (Jane Beckman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Speaker for the Dead
Date: 30 Sep 92 18:10:10 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc., San Jose, CA

Jilara frowns and sighs.  "I never---argue with intent."  She
sighs again.  "A damned shame.  I remember him, here."

She steps up to the chalkline and makes the threefold-gesture
of toasting of ancient Shinto, heart, eyes, third eye.  "To
transition.  May the next turning of the wheel be more
favorable."
--
  Jilara   [jane@swdc.stratus.com]

"Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out."  --Einstein,
by way of Barry Shein on the net
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Fuzzies (was Re: Callahan's coots?)
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 01:23:11 GMT

"Yeef!" Liralen says, "I'm getting senile... P'relan's fuzzy was green with
a silver star... MY fuzzy," <<peep>> and a black fuzzy pops out from under
her chin, "is the black one..." she chuckles and smooths it's warm fur.  It
purrs softly in the hollow of her throat.

"I'm wondering if Taldin could dig out the Fuzzy Story, again..."
----
Liralen Li
From: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Callahan's is for everyone
Date: 1 Oct 92 21:45:34 GMT
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Originator: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca

In article <1992Oct1.190038.21039@news.Hawaii.Edu> gardner@hale.ifa.hawaii.edu (Jonathan Gardner) writes:
>
>The Space Cadet started this all off musing in the middle of a group
>hug. He comes out of it to discover he is on top of a pile of soap
>boxes. He climbs down, and gives a quick squeeze to the group, to
>Unbeliever, to the others who are a part of this post but remained
>nameless, and to STM if he will accept it. He then wanders over and
>gets in the line, er, queue, that is forming behind Grant to dip the
>caramel apples.

From her perch on Grant's shoulder, The Didi-Sprite has been listening 
raptly to all that Space Cadet has had to say. When she spies him
joining the now lengthening queue for caramel apples, she gives Grant's
ear an extra tug and whispers:  "Be right back!"  then flutters over
to Space Cadet's shoulder, where she lands, almost expertly  (ooops ...
remember gravity, Didi!), and giggling, gives her favorite Cadet the 
biggest hug her sprite-sized self can manage.  

"I am soooo glad you are back!  Please stay for a while!  There's lots
doing, you know!"  and she winks knowingly, then flutters happily back
to Grant.  "Remember?  You promised I could lick the spoon!"

----<--<@

The Didi-Sprite
Montreal * Canada

braley@inkley.cs.mcgill.ca
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason))
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Song of Sixpence - Part 6 & 7
Date: 4 Oct 92 16:31:55 GMT
Organization: The Polyhedron Group

In article <1992Oct2.194138.12057@cs.mcgill.ca>,
braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite) writes:


>Raven is perched in a tree overlooking a sparkling river.  "Hmmm, what to
>bring, what to bring...."  She looks down and notice that the salmon are
>running.  An idea stricks, and she calls down  'Brothers would you mind
>shedding this skin so i may use it?' The answer to which is a few sockeye
>leaping onto the surrounding rocks, their flesh without a blemish.

<Jason says to Raven as she flies in with her Sockeye salmon>

Thank you Raven, for reminding me of Salmon Brother and his gift. Everyone,
here is a very large metal bowl. Please save the bones of these salmon, and
the other fish prepared today. Salmon Brother will want us to take care of
them properly.

<Later that afternoon, Jason reveals :>

>Twelve huge, freshly caught, Chinook Salmon,
> weighing in at about 25 pounds apiece!

<Which he prepares as he as seen done at the Kah-Nee-Ta lodge, on the Warm
Springs Indian reservation. When everyone is done with the salmon that
Raven and Jason have prepared, Jason takes the bones back to the stream.>

Thanks to you, Salmon Brother, for your gift. Go now in beauty.

<Jason tosses the bones into the water. There they flash and reform into
Twelve large Chinook and three or four Sockey salmon, leaping and swimming
in the stream. Jason smiles as they swim away, happy to have helped their
friends.>

Jason,
Who is white in -this- incarnation, 
but knows and respects some of the ways of his red
brothers.
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Unpublished chapters
Date: 29 Sep 1992 08:52:35 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

Thought I'd pass the following message from Marvin Minsky on to all the
Callahanians.
********************************************************************************
I have archived two unpublished chapters of "The Turing Option" by
Harry Harrison and Marvin Minsky, published by Warner Books, August
1992.  Use  
  ftp wuarchive.wustl.edu  (and then login with name "anonymous")
  cd doc/minsky
  get option.chapters

These chapters have a lot of far-out ideas about how to build a
humanlike machine. Harry Harrison and I have been longtime friends.
One day he said that he liked my book 'The Society of Mind' and
suggested that the ideas could reach a larger audience if I wrote a
version in the form of a novel.  When I said I didn't have the talent
for that, he offered to collaborate.  We decided that the central
character Brian would be a mathematical super-hacker of the future who
would build the first AI with a human-like mind. Harry drafted the
action plot, and I suppled the technical stuff. While our hero is
building his robot (in the year 2023) he is shot in the head by
mysterious criminals who steal the prototype.  This lets us explain
computational aspects of the theory in the context of repairing
Brian's brain, while also explaining psychological aspects in the
context of reconstructing his childhood memories.

A co-author does not have complete control.  These FTP chapters are
part of the text I wrote that did not make it into the published book.
Both Harry and the editor at Warner thought they would slow down the
story too much.  At the time I disagreed, but now I think they were
right.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mbr2@quads.uchicago.edu (Curious Of All Natures)
Subject: Re: Speaker for the Dead
Reply-To: mbr2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: Universtiy of Chicago
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 04:31:22 GMT

Sigh... the beauty and power of the place only offers itself to those
who reach out for it.  
I knew him not, but I mourn for a life so unbearable that one could not
go on...

##CRASH##

-Matt Ryan, many your choices and few your partings,
mb-ryan@uchicago.edu                Curious Of All Natures
==================================  ====================================
If I'm dreaming, never let me wake. You'll never see the end of the road
If I'm awake, never let me sleep.   When you're traveling with me.
               -old chinese fellow                        -Crowded House     
==================================  ====================================
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Yet Another Periodic Return...
Date: 6 Oct 1992 09:49:54 GMT
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <122420130@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM>, daq@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Doug Quarnstrom) writes:
=In alt.callahans, lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals) writes:
=
=[lots o' stuff deleted]
=
=I must say, that was one of the most impressive displays
=of almost completely incoherent vitriol I have ever witnessed.

You're right.  Ain't severe hypoglycemia wonderful?  I guess you couldn't be
troubled to read through the entire thread before responding, right?  I won't
say anything about a pot and a kettle.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: ml5a+@andrew.cmu.edu (Mark Beirne Lively)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Christmas is busting out all over!
Date: 30 Sep 92 17:00:49 GMT
Organization: Sophomore, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

>kitten starts jumping up and down...."grant, i totally agree....i am
>not ready to think about christmas....i still haven't figured out how

Christmas...  Christmas...  That is unbelievable I have enought problems
dealing witht he fact thatthe leaves are begining to turn.  and that it
is almost october!!!!  My mom is a major christmas freak.  She loves it.
 We have little santas all around the house year round and the
decorations go up around thanksgiving.  One year we had 3 trees 2 real
one plastic covered with ornaments.  How you fit 5 cubic feet of
ornaments lights etc on 2 6' trees i have no idea.  Beads, lights,
ornaments, balls, bells.  Everything imaginable from all over the face
of the planet.  Sorry for rambling.  Later Y'all

Friend of the one who is.
Bear aka the Lord High Rulebender aka (ML5A@ANDREW.CMU.EDU)
From: rmarsh@waikato.ac.nz
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: BAH! HUMBUG!
Date: 1 Oct 92 20:15:37 +1200
Organization: University of Waikato, Hamilton, New Zealand

  Stumpy ducks a shower of peanuts and scurries toward the Seawasp and
Windsinger. "Yesterday I almost said that we weren't *quite* that crazy in
New Zealand. Usually they wait until at least the middle of October to
start with the Christmas stuff. Then today I walked into one of department
stores in town... AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! There they were... the
New-Season Christmas Decorations... the December Calendars with the little
windows you open, one a day, until Christmas...
  "Oh, well. I suppose you can't really blame them. Christmas is the retail
world's biggest season. The longer it lasts, the more money they make."
  Stumpy wanders over and inspects some of Gypsy's stamps. After a moment
trying to figure out whether one stamp is a stylised star or a stylised
octopus he sits down. Over his shoulder to the 'scrooges' he says "Ah,
well. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." He chooses a piece of card... not
quite pink... not quite purple, and sets to finding a stamp that would look
good at the top.

-- 
Robert 'Stumpy' Marsh | 95 Fairfield Rd | I can't reply to E-Mail, but 
rmarsh@waikato.ac.nz  | Hamilton        | don't let that stop you sending.
+64 7 855 4406        | New Zealand     |
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: keulen@possum.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Mike van Keulen)
Subject: Re: Schooling
Organization: Murdoch University
Date: 30 Sep 92 11:46:01 GMT

Yeah - most people have to do more courses for honours here too ... my
department is different (for better or worse - who knows?): we have a 10 month
research project to complete, culminating in a thesis, as well as 1-2 3000 word
essays, and 2 seminars to present.  Some describe it as hell - I actually
enjoyed mine, although I did wind up with an award inscribed: 

			The MvK Award
		For Honours Survival Skills

It was supposed to become an annual award, but no-one actually had as many
disasters befall their honours project as me, since.  To say it was interesting
understates that time!  I still think it's far better than doing more courses
(I did a double-major in my undergrad, so I was happy to see the end of
courses).

Splash!

--
***************************** Michael van Keulen *************************** 
* Snail: School of BES - Biology         e-mail: keulen@murdoch.edu.au     *
*        Murdoch University              phone:  ++ 61 (09) 360-2843 (work)*
*        Murdoch WA 6150  AUSTRALIA              ++ 61 (09) 417-3902 (home)*
*************************** "To Love is to _LIVE_!" ************************
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jf2z+@andrew.cmu.edu (John Charles Fiala)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Colorful Phrases
Date: 4 Oct 92 04:33:09 GMT
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

Hmm...

I've always liked the following, culled from rec.humor back, lo so many
years ago, when I read it:

John walks over to the list, where she* appends:

"Make like a hockey player and get the puck out of here."
"Make like a bread truck and haul buns."
"About as sharp as a bowl of Jello."
"A few tiles short of a space shuttle."
She giggles as she continues to nibble at her caramel apple, probably
getting her t-shirt all gucky.  "But," she adds, "that is why people wear
T-shirts."

She wanders off and sees what Phee's getting herself into, hoping fezzik
hasn't gained an appreciation for apple et caramel.  "Then again," she
mutters, "he might just appreciate the stick."

Em'ly, meanwhile, pays close attention to cleaning the tip of her tail,
which looks spotless, but then again, what do *people* know about such things?

-john
"I'm sure my cats view me as a versatile home appliance."
jf2z@cmu.edu            -Neil Gaiman
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: steve@Advansoft.COM (Steve Savitzky)
Subject: Re: Old Coots Test (was A grinning Nightstalker)
Organization: Advansoft Research Corp, Santa Clara, CA
Date: 1 Oct 92 16:05:30

"As near as I can tell," says the Mandelbear, "the mapping from grade
levels to schools has little or nothing to do with how old you are,
but mostly where you grew up.  I'm from Connecticut, where Junior High
consisted of grades 7-9, and 10th graders were called "sophomores" but
9th graders were *not* referred to as "freshmen"."
--
\ --Steve Savitzky--  \    343 Leigh Ave   \ Object-oriented software wizard
 \ steve@advansoft.COM \ San Jose, CA 95128 \ Presently seeking employment:
  \ arc!steve@apple.COM \   h:408-294-6492   \ Resume available on request.
   \__ steve@arc.UUCP _____ w:408-727-3357x246 (9am-6pm) _____________________
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: gryphon@openage.openage.com (The Golden Gryphon)
Subject: Re: Speaker for the Dead
Organization: Open Age, Inc.
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 13:50:52 GMT

**crash**

"To a friend who has passed."

-- 
The Golden Gryphon 				gryphon@openage.COM
Solve a man's problem and he has 1 less.        No incumbents in 92.
Teach a man to think, and all his problems are less.
Openage - The Premier SCO UNIX integrator in the Washington D.C. area
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason))
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Can anyone hear me?
Date: 2 Oct 92 14:50:24 GMT
Organization: The Polyhedron Group

In article <s903040.718020896@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU>,
s903040@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au (Christopher Francis Anderson) writes:
> 
> <<Thunderchild looks around in bewilderment>>
> 
> Can anyone hear me?
> 
> None of my posts seem to be getting through to the group!
> 
> <<Panic ensues on his part>>
> 
> If anyone can hear me, let me know, please - I feel a bit strange talking
> and not knowing if I'm getting through.
> 
> Thanx peoples.
> 
> 
> -- 
> Thunderchild (a.k.a. Chris Anderson)           Badges? We don't need no 
> s903040@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au                      steenking badges!
> RMIT University of Technology
> Somewhere Down Under (Down under where? I don't know, I just live here!)
> 
> 

Hi Thunderchild,

I hear you loud and clear in Eugene, Oregon, USA. I've been enjoying your
posts about your travels. 

However, I -was- unable to reply to you by direct e-mail from my
news-watcher.

Jason
(Somewhere up over, I
guess)
From: korz@cs.columbia.edu (Frederick Korz)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Colorful Phrases
Date: 7 Oct 92 03:12:52 GMT
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Organization: Columbia University Department of Computer Science

In article <1992Oct6.200659.21071@nntp.uoregon.edu> JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason)) writes:
><Jason pipes up again>
>
>I used a good one without thinking about it today.
>
>"It's like using an elephant gun to hunt ground squirrels."
>(Or Howlitzer / mice, tank / turtles, etc.)
>(for a severe over-reaction)

Frood pops in,

"Oh, like swatting flys with a sledgehammer?"

 ( wrong course of action for the situation,
      the intended task often still unaccomplished,
         but much collateral damage)


	frood
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.com (Gillett, David)
Subject: Re: Basic Trivia (was Re: BAH! HUMBUG!)
Reply-To: dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.com (Gillett, David)
Organization: Reuters APL Software Division
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 13:10:27 GMT

     C-Hawk asks if anybody remembers "RADIX-50"?  I think he means RADIX-40.
Observe that 40^3 == 64000, while 50^3 is 125000.

     Okay, 64000 < 65536, the maximum value of a 16-bit unsigned integer.  So
if you restrict your character set to 40 symbols (26 letters, 10 digits, and 4
punctuation marks), you can put *three* characters in each 16-bit word.  In
some kinds of applications, the benefits of this kind of trivial compression
far outway the disadvantages....
                                      Mentor the computer old coot

-----------Message forwarded from IPSA Mailbox-------------
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE)
Subject: a suggestion re: That wretched bureau...
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 07:17:47 GMT


   "hmm. Splash, is there  local to you a 'Harbor Patrol' or 'Beach
Patrol' office you could call ? Maybe the local Harbour Master has
a phone you could call for the local sea conditions. Most professional
fishermen don't exactly like to get out in sea conditions that will
tear their nets, " Dreamy Jim.


* <JMPIERCE@USMCP6.BITNET> Jim "DJ." Pierce; Bach. Sci. in Appl. Comp. Sci.
* USM Academic Computing on the Gulf Park Campus. Disclaimer: Standard.
* "I'm tired out from a prolonged squawk !!" me simulating MPFC.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu
Subject: Re: Can anyone hear me?
Organization: C.C.S.O.
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 14:38:54 GMT

In article <s903040.718020896@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU>
s903040@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au (Christopher Francis Anderson) writes:
 
>
>If anyone can hear me, let me know, please - I feel a bit strange talking
>and not knowing if I'm getting through.
>
       Comin' in just fine, T-child.
euclid
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Date: Thu,  1 Oct 1992 23:11:04 -0400 
From: John Charles Fiala <jf2z+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: A blast from the past:

I'm told that a post I sent here, that included a file of a post
I'd saved, isn't readable outside of my campus.  I apologize, it
was apparently the 'fancy' news system being very stupid.

Following this should be the correct post.

-john

-----+

From: phyllis@amc-gw.amc.com (Phyllis Rostykus)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Somebody Come and Play
Date: 2 Aug 90 00:56:27 GMT



   And, as she's waiting for the food to cook, and watching all the patrons
happily getting ready for the barbeque, Liralen wanders about the lake,
skipping rocks, looking at flowers, eating the last of the huckleberris and
raspberries, and looking out for blackberry brambles.  And as she wanders
she sings softly to herself in the manner of one who has a song in her head
and just can't get rid of it except by mumbling it to herself.
   It's sung a little breathlessly, in a little girl's voice, as she
skip-hops over a stream, and laughingly chases Fezzik.

               "Somebody come and play.
               Somebody come and play today.
               Somebody come
               And smile the smiles
               And sing the songs
               It won't take long.
               Somebody come and play.
               Today.
               Somebody come with me and see
               The pleasure in the wind.
               Somebody come before it gets
               Too late to begin..."

--
Liralen Li           | "Looking down on empty streets, all she can see are
aka Phyllis Rostykus | "the dreams all made solid, are the dreams made real."
phyllis@amc.com      |  - "Mercy Street" by Peter Gabriel
\enddata{text822, 0}
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu (David Green)
Subject: Re: BAH! HUMBUG! (was Re: Christmas is busting out all over!)
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 07:24:13 GMT

In article <keulen.717997188@possum> keulen@possum.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Mike van Keulen) writes:
->rmarsh@waikato.ac.nz writes:
->>  "We've bin-hexed!" Stumpy yelps. "I think I'm losing feeling in my toes and
->>my fingers are number too..."
->                       ^^^
->
->I thought hex was base 6???

I think it's short for 'hexadecimal' (base 16).
-- 
dgreen@jarthur.claremont.edu				   David "Mishael" Green
		    Have you scritched your local Furry today?
***********************Who ordered the muon? -- I. I. Rabi**********************
	    Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.
From: carole@rembrandt.Sun.COM (Carole Parker)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Old Coots Test
Date: 26 Sep 1992 10:57:59 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: rembrandt

In article <1992Sep26.003754.6048@nntp.uoregon.edu> JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt (Jason)) writes:
>In article <8406.5463@stratus.SWDC.Stratus.COM>,
>jane@soave.swdc.stratus.com (Jane Beckman) writes:
>> And there's another one for old coots.
>> Did you go to a school where "grammar school" was grades 1-8,
>> and high school was grades 9-12?  I did." 
>> --
The original variation I had was:

  grammar/elementary school K - 6
  junior high 7 - 9
  high school 10 - 12

Then I moved to an area that did:

  grammar/elementary school K - 6
  junior high 7 - 8
  high school 9 - 12


I found myself. See? I'm right here! Until later--

Carole Parker
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu
Subject: Re: a quiet intro
Organization: C.C.S.O.
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 13:54:34 GMT

Ahhhh, thank you, Thyra, for the warning.  As a rule i do avoid hard liquor,
though i still enjoy shots of vodka from time to time.  However, i'm in a
jolly mood now, so....Mike? Another mug of tea, please.  (While Mike prepares
the tea, Euclid continues) I do be careful what i eat or drink around others;
meat, for instance, i never eat in company.  The smell of burnt flesh is worse
than garlic breath, or so i'm told.  Now *this* (Euclid accepts the mug of tea
and gives Mike several silver coins) is dandy stuff.  No danger of the mug
exploding in one's face and possibly harming bystanders. (Euclid downs the tea
in a couple of gulps).  However (and she now smiles impishly)...i'm not sure
that it would be so dangerous. (She holds up the mug and studies it, then
turns and holds it out in a relatively open space of the room.  Then she
blows at it, a stream of fire engulfs the mug, molten ceramic starts to fall
to the floor but burns completely before hitting the floor.
"Of course, there is the problem of making sure noone gets singed.  That
happend to a friend of mine, Cyber-crisp.  He used to be called Cyber, but
i turned my head to sneeze, once, and there he stood.  When it was over he
still stood there, but was badly singed, so now he's Cyber-crisp.  And i've
taken to carrying an asbestos hanky ever since".