From: "Jamet" <wk01687@worldlink.com>
Subject: Inner Child
Organization: Performance Systems Int'l
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 22:03:28 GMT
X-Mailer: WORLDLink (3.11)

Carol,

>DATE:   21 Dec 92 02:25:37 GMT
>FROM:   Carol <anon-1298@twwells.com>
>[..good stuff deleted..]

>
>Yesterday I saw someone very like my inner child. A girl about 10
>years old. My attention was attracted to her crying as her
>mother's boyfriend violently ripped her hand from her mother's
>arm because *he* wanted to hold that arm! The girl walked away 
>crying. The mother was a bit angry with her boyfriend but followed
>him anyway. She called to her daughter "Come off the road - you
>might get hit by a car." The boyfriend followed that with "Go further
>into the road - hopefully you'll get hit by a car" and laughed
>horribly. I wanted to go up to that man and say "you bastard". I
>wanted to tell the mother to be more responsible. But mostly I
>wanted to run after that little girl and hug her. But I did nothing.
>Like most law abiding fucking minding-own-business citizens I
>did nothing.
>
>I feel guilty. I should have tried to do something. I *want* to
>do something real to stop child abuse... and yet when I see it happen
>in the street right in front of me I fail dismally. I would like to
>hear what some of you guys have thought about actively preventing
>the abuse of others, and what you have done, and what you think
>are appropriate or inappropriate actions.

A very similar situation happen to me.  Except it happened in front of a 
school.  So I was able to inform the school psychologist of what I 
witnessed.  She assured me she would follow up on the matter (she knew 
the parents and child).  I suppose I should have reported it to CPS but 
my own experience with government intervention of that type was not 
positive so I didn't.  I can only hope that the incident was really 
followed up on.

But I don't think I would have done any different in the situation you 
described.  I have a real fear about confrontation.  What if the guy 
turned out to be a real psycho?  Or what if my confronting gets him so 
riled that he abuses the child more because she caused trouble.  I know 
rationally that that is his problem and that I wouldn't have caused 
greater harm to the child, but emotionally I would feel it was my fault. 
(My abusers trained me well).  I was thinking a lot of that kind of 
stuff when I was debating whether or not to make a report of CPS over 
the incident I saw.  I figured it might do more harm than good.  A 
belief that I think is partly based in reality (ie: the system is less 
than helpful many times) and partly conditioning not to make waves.

The idea of standing alone in public and stating my opinions is very 
frightening to me.  I have done it, but only when I've felt it to be a 
fairly safe risk (ie: lots of onlookers).  And what I'm talking about 
here is confronting an abuser.  I feel that confronting someone who is 
abusive is risky.  Maybe I need to consider confronting my own abuser, 
maybe that would free me in some way. (That's just a musing on my part, 
I am *not* implying that anyone else should or should not confront their abuser).

Well I suppose this wasn't the kind of response you were looking for but 
I got a lot out of it.   So     Thanks for the post.  



>
>   [stuff deleted] ....  If the
>anon posting service is taken away I, and many others down here, will
>be cut off.


I don't think it's being taken away, but if it is perhaps you could use 
another anon service.


Thanks
Debra