HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: cadesjar@undergrad.math.waterloo.edu (Curtis Desjardins)
Subject: Re: A Piece of Advice
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 18:45:07 GMT

>>In article <Btw0AK.D4u@wpi.WPI.EDU> gryphon@wpi.WPI.EDU (The Emotional Yo Yo) writes:
>>>I have discovered, through practical and painful experience, that, should you
>>>wish to destroy a relationship utterly, there is no better way to do it than
>>>with three little words:
>>>I love you.
>>
>>No. Wrong. 
>
>Yes.  Right.  Weren't you paying attention to the above section?  IT HAPPENED
>TO ME.

Maybe I should have made myself clearer. I didn't mean to say that it
didn't happen to you, I meant to say that saying "I love you" isn't
the "best" way to destroy a relationship (generally speaking).

>>Sure, saying 'I love you' can lead to the type of relationship you don't
>>want (ie. LJBF), but you can't let that kind of fear rule your life, or
>>you'll NEVER find anyone. BELIEVE ME, I lived this way for a long time!
>
>Ooh--you mean some people are lucky enough to get LJBF as a response?  Wow!
>That must be quite a difference from the nuclear winter I got.  I haven't 
>heard silence that loud since the time I went on the extended tour of Mammoth
>Cave in Kentucky, or felt a chill as profound since the winter of '89.

I'm sorry about how things ended up for you. I mean that because I've
been there, but you can't go around carrying such bitterness inside
you like this because that just makes things worse. And I mean THAT
because I've been there, too.

>God, but it's hard to take a flame from someone who calls themself 'Fluffy
>the Wonder Bunny'...

It wasn't a flame, just my observations and opinions. Take them
for what they're worth.

========================= Fluffy the Wonder Bunny ============================
    Donkey Hodey of the RFA (nowadays the ARC Wallflower & Netnews Lurker) 
==============================================================================
  "A present from the heart: I'm not here because I'm supposed to be here,
    or because I'm trapped here, but because I'd rather be with you than
     anywhere in the world."   -- Richard Bach, "Bridge Across Forever"
================== cadesjardins@descartes.waterloo.edu =======================
 Hi! I am a .signature virus. Copy me into your .signature and join the fun!
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Flirting (was: Re: LJBF again)
Date: 3 Sep 92 13:30:05 GMT
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1992Sep2.185040.23369@bnr.co.uk>, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
> In the referenced article weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
>>In article <1992Sep1.092522@cs.bham.ac.uk> jml@cs.bham.ac.uk (Jane Littlehales) writes:
> 
> [Megabytes of interesting, but irrelevant stuff deleted]
>>
>>I became fond of a woman who seemed difficult but worthwhile, and
>>decided that I would take whatever time and effort to develop a
>>relationship between us. I knew that this effort would be likely to
>>fail, but I thought it was worth the effort.  I thought I was being
>>patient, tactful and restrained, but apparently not. She broke our
>>first date with a lame excuse, and instead of complaining like a
>>sensible person, I waited and asked her out again. My reward for this
>>was the famous LJBF speech.
> 
> Ah, such a familiar tale to my ears... :-\ 
> 
Mine too. My favorite answer is "Thanks, but I already have enough friends."

Mike
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Woman dating separated man -- advice desired
From: cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Clare West)
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 05:26:23 GMT
Organization: Dept of CompSci, U of Auckland

thomas@mvac23.UUCP (Thomas Lapp) writes:
>
>I was only off by one! :-)

The plague of the Computer Programmer - the "of by one" error - will
there never be a cure?

clare

-- 
Oh, why didn't I listen when they said "Never do a   |  cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz 
 masters and try to have a life at the same time"?   |  clare west
                 BigSis to Chris, Eric and Kristiina
                    Official Welcomer of the RFA
From: jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Friends First or Not?
Date: 2 Sep 92 20:21:28 GMT
Organization: Air Force Institute of Technology

In article <1992Sep2.181331.22121@bnr.co.uk> dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
>In the referenced article petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>> Is it better, in your opinion, or not, to be friends before dating?  On the
>>one hand, if you're friends first, you know a lot more about the person, but
>>(s)he will get too comfortable with your friendship, and will tend to find it
>>harder to love you.  On the other hand, if you date first, you may not know a
>>lot about the person, but at least you're "used to" dating each other.
>
>Yes, weird & not-really-very-wonderful, is it? I've posted as much before...
>I can't work it out either. All I know is that this newsgroup seems to be
>full of people who have found success through the 'being friends first'
>modus operandi. My theory is that the confused masses are all just lurking!

Right on,  "Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way."

Jeremy
From: dennisy@hpdmd48.boi.hp.com (Dennis Yates)
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 14:25:20 GMT
Subject: Second Chances ???
Organization: Hewlett Packard - Boise, ID
From: petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: Looking for help
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 19:45:36 GMT

In article <1992Sep2.185843.23578@bnr.co.uk>, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:

|> However, what it seems to mean to me these days is a *contentment with 
|> yourself without the feeling of need for another*.

   But, isn't that blatantly saying "I don't need anyone else."  And that is
quite wrong.  People are social creatures (or is that wrong?), and DO need
other people to be happy.  Now, what I'm saying is that we need attention +
affection from people, but we don't need romantic attention to be happy.
Is that what you mean?  

-- 
"The mightiest weapon in the history of science fiction is the writer's pen"
"Although the pen is mightier than the sword, I know which one I'd choose to
fend off a murderer."
"Stop, or ELSE."  "Or else WHAT?"  "Oh.  Never mind."



Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: feirtag@i5120b.nrl.navy.mil (Fred Feirtag)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Love is EVERYTHING!!!
Date: 27 Aug 92 22:25:12 GMT

In article <Btn7t9.M9q@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, fippen@ux2.cso.uiuc.edu (John W. Fippen - Invoice) writes:
|>                                                  Men generally exploit women in 
|> the short term simply because women let them!
|>  

Uh huh.  And night time is when the sun shines, and day time is when it's
all dark and you can't see anything.  Right.  I'm tired of paying for
slaves I've never owned and mistresses I've never had.  That statement
is insulting.  SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

-- 

Fred Feirtag                     | "He did a good job cleaning up the place,
Gizmonic Research Lab, Code 5120 |  But his bosses didn't like him,
Washington, DC  20375            |  So they shot him into space."
feirtag@wave.nrl.navy.mil        |
(202) 404 - 8502                 |     (intro to Mystery Science Theatre 3000)
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Thoughtful help required
Keywords: help
Date: 4 Sep 92 01:30:38 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Sep3.003209.28086@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mblaser@nyx.cs.du.edu (Fox) writes:
>Question :
>
>What do you do when the person you love is totally convinced you hate them
>utterly and, as a result, interprets your every action as a way of jibing them?
>
>Fox
>--
That's a great question, but a little sketchy on the details. Have you talked 
to them (him/her/it) about it? If you haven't, and feel you can, you could
sit them down and tell them that you are confused by the way they are acting,
and ask them to explain it. If they really think you hate them, then you could
find out why, and explain why that is not the case. It is tough to say without
knowing any details, but I would guess that they are upset with you for some
reason and are handling badly. If that is the case, then talking about it 
should help.

Feel free to reply by email (to weaver@weitek.COM), or by alt.romance
post.


Good Luck,
Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: stcroix@z.eecs.umich.edu (ELLON ST. CROIX)
Subject: Re: The Shadowette....
Organization: University of Michigan EECS Dept., Ann Arbor, MI
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 00:05:46 GMT

tyger@netcom.com (Kitty in the Middle) writes:
>carl@vaxr.sscl.uwo.ca (Carl Kaufmann) writes:
>>
>>MEOW!
>>Cats are more romantic than dogs.  

PURRRRRRR, MEOW!!!!
>I like you already! Welcome...:)
>
>>CatGuy
>
>   Tyger


     BabyCat

No matter what the header sez, Mail STILL goes to ellon@ads.com
From: I.A.Inman@newcastle.ac.uk (Ian Alexander Inman)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Shyness - Re: Second Chances
Date: 28 Aug 92 09:49:15 GMT
Organization: Computing Laboratory, U of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK NE1 7RU.


I sympathise greatly with this situation.   Similar has happened to me, except
that didn't win the girl over in the first place.

I am one of those great sufferers of shyness, and also have communication
difficulties, especially with the opposite sex.

When it comes to time to ask someone out, the usual is for me to bottle up 
completely, and avoid the situation entirely.   This happens for two reasons:

	1) I am scared stiff I'll be rejected.   This may seem bit silly, because
	   people ask for dates every day, and get turned down.   They are not
	   affected, so why should I be.

	   Saying that, people are different, and we are all affected in 
	   different ways in different situations.


	2) If I sucessfully end up with a date, I'm scared people will find me 			
	   boring.

	   People will always be interested in different things, so the position 
	   here is to find common ground, to get communication going.
	   A sense of humour is also essential - this is my failing, my sense of
	   humour is sometimes a tad offbeat - not everyone appreciates it.

The girl (of Chinese/Vietnamese origin) concerned is now 300 miles away, she was
something really special to me.   I am only just getting over her now, a year 
later, after finishing my degree.

What happened in my case is that I had already asked her out on a prevoius 
occasion, where yet again I had left it too late, and I was turned down.

But as the course was drawing to a close, she seemed to be getting interested.
A friend of hers dropped hints in my direction for the second time to this effect.
And I lost my bottle.

Only after the course finished, did I realise how I felt about her, I was really
in love with her, love is like that.   So followed a spurious spell of letter
writing, and in the end she said that she had no romantic feelings for me.
Reading between the lines - your too late mate.

On the offchance you may be reading this Thai, sorry for everything.

This had happened previously to me - the net result was this earlier girl is married to someone else.   I bottled completely there, and didn't even try.

The moral of the story is that you MUST try, and you MUST communicate your  thoughts and feelings if that special something is to grow into something 
lasting.

I say this to you Dennis, you have nothing to lose by asking her to give you a
second chance - just a hurt pride.   If you fail, don't worry, in time you'll get
over it.   You will never forget her, but you must learn to live with rejection,
it is part of life.   We all get hurt sometime.

The hurt will be alot more if you don't try again, if given the chance.   Losing
that someone special because you don't ask can be even more hurtful.

							The Broken Heart.
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: A Piece of Advice
Date: 2 Sep 92 18:27:53 GMT
Reply-To: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Organization: BNR Europe Limited, London Road, Harlow, Essex, GB

In the referenced article kklai@napier.uwaterloo.ca (Betty Boop) writes:
>In article <Btw0AK.D4u@wpi.WPI.EDU> gryphon@wpi.WPI.EDU (The Emotional Yo Yo) writes:
>>I have discovered, through practical and painful experience, that, should you
>>wish to destroy a relationship utterly, there is no better way to do it than
>>with three little words:
>>
>>I love you.
>>
>
>Yes but it is also the best way to create a long lasting relationship. Though
>sometimes it may destroy a relationship in most cases it will lead you to the
					    ^^^^ 
					I beg to differ.
	
>relationship that you have been searching for...
>
>Betty Boop

Yes, but can you afford to lose some of the good friendships along the way?
It's more of a dilemma than some people seem to appreciate. Some people are
just (un)lucky, I suppose. No more, no less, but...

Come on now, let's have a straw poll:

Q1. How many friendships have you ruined in order to finally reach the goal of
an RP?

Q2. How many of these do you regret or are very disappointed by? Was it worth it?

My responses: A1 = 3 in a row so far, with no RP yet. A2 = 2; I'm still
waiting to see if it's "worth it", but I'm getting seriously doubtful.

Stewart. ("Campaign for realism on alt.romance") :-)

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: gryphon@wpi.WPI.EDU (The Emotional Yo Yo)
Subject: A Piece of Advice
Keywords: and a warning
Organization: Recursive Gravity Testing Ltd.
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 06:49:32 GMT

I have discovered, through practical and painful experience, that, should you
wish to destroy a relationship utterly, there is no better way to do it than
with three little words:

I love you.

Think about it.

(Yes, I discovered this by accident.)

Be warned.  Be careful.

--G.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   Natural Progressions to be Found in the English Language #247-11A:
          cat.......................................catapult
INTERNET: gryphon@world.std.com               BELLNET: (508)755-4675
SNAILNET: Benjamin D. Hutchins, 14 Dover St. #2B, Worcester, MA  01609
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Re: The Shadowette....
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Sun, 23 Aug 92 23:35:29 GMT

In article <tvechins.920821142123@eng.auburn.edu> tvechins@eng.auburn.edu (Toni R. Vechinski) writes:
>
>     Good day, my fellow readers.....You have, by no doubt, met my cousin
>THE SHADOW from the previous letter.
>
>     Sha (that's what I call him for short, for only fellow lurkers of the
>night may do so) introduced me to alt.romance and alt.romance.chat and I
>must concur that they are most enjoyable.
>
>     I'm not quite the poet my cousin is (for he started this business long
>before I), but to introduce myself....
>
>          I believe in the soul and eternal life, the American flag, best
>                friends and snuggling.
>          I believe in the small of a woman's back, a man with strong hands
>                and broad shoulders, baseball, and country music.
>          I believe in Walt Disney, pickup trucks, sexy underwear, roses,
>                and banana splits with lots of whipped cream.
>          I believe in exercise and being healthy, the fiddle and mountain
>                music, long walks and holding hands, and slow dancing.
>          I believe in the love between a man and a woman, sunsets, back
>                massages, and as Crash Davis said,
>          "I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last for
>                three days."
>

And don't forget the most important one....

"I believe in faires...." (Watched 'Hook' twice this weekend with the
kids.  And yes I got choked up when the Mom noticed the kids were
back and when the old codger got his marbles back...)

Welcome to you both....

rip
From: I.A.Inman@newcastle.ac.uk (Ian Alexander Inman)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: what she want's
Keywords: More than one side.
Date: 4 Sep 92 11:40:38 GMT
Organization: Computing Laboratory, U of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK NE1 7RU.


(Angie) writes:

>All women are not the same.  Some ladies prefer all the cute things that
>men do when dating.  While others prefer to bypass all that "cutsie-shit"
>and just get on with the relationship.  For myself  - and a majority of the
>women I know - I prefer all the "cutsie-shit" that a man will hand out!  As
>long as he's willing to spend money and time on you, then take it!  Why? 
>Well, simply because later on in the relationship, it just will not happen.
> Take, for example, my parents....loving couple that fell in love after
>only dating for two months.  Sure, my dad brought dead flowers from my
>grandmothers garden and left them on my mom''s desk at work to greet her
>when she arrived.  Then, later on he gave her potatoe chips (Lays brand)
>with a note that said:  "How aabout a Lay?"  Oh, isn't that cute?!
>Twenty-some years later, my mom has not seen the sight of dead flowers or
>stale potatoe chips!  So, men, give us all you've got, and Ladies, TAKE IT
>because later on there will be nothing for you to receive besides headaches
>and heartbreaks!


Hmm, should a relationship not be based on give and take from both sides?

I don't mind doing all the cute stuff, it's part of the fun, and it's quite 
romantic.   But I feel that in many cases, it cuts both ways.

I'm not being critical Angie, alot of couples like to do it your way.

					Ian A. Inman (Broken Heart)
From: annie@canetoad.UUCP (Annie)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re:  Love
Distribution: world
Date: 26 Aug 92 20:11:41 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <1992Aug26.002811.2535@jetsun.weitek.COM> weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
>In article <annie.02qw@canetoad.UUCP> annie@canetoad.UUCP (Annie) writes:
>>A figment of your imagination. A pigment of your infatuation.
>
>Keep talking like that and we'll have to ban you from alt.romance ;-).
>
>One thing I am sure about love is that it exists. As they say,
>reality is what doesn't go away when we want it to. Many times I
>have wished I could simply stop loving someone because
>they did return the favor, and that certainly did not work for me.
>Now, whether romance exists outside our fantasies, that is another
>question.
>
>Michael.

Okay. Point taken. BUT:
The latest stuff I've read on a.r has been all about describing "love"
in terms of how it *feels*. If I say I feel all warm in my belly and
my palms are sweating, I could be in love, or I might just have eaten
a pizza and walked up six flights of stairs. Same feeling! What I was
pulling folks' legs about was the confusion between love and "feelings".
I find them quite distinct. In your case, for example, do you really
wish to stop "loving" this other person, or do you wish to stop feeling
the way you do towards him/her? Yes, feelings are real and sometimes 
do not go away, but I find love in actions, not feelings.

--
"They never go far," he said with a chuckle. "They never do what they
set out to do. Always pecking at new things are the *Bandar-log*."

...uunet!canetoad!annie                          canetoad!annie@uunet.uu.net

Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat
From: george@tessi.com (George Mitchell)
Subject: Re: Part Two of "Dryads' Dailiness"
Keywords: Nymphette
Organization: Test Systems Strategies, Inc., Beaverton, Oregon
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 21:32:36 GMT

jlane@Ingres.COM (Judi Lane) describes her problem:
>   (The Dryad whips herself 8^) into a panic over this situation,
>   frantically trying to fax rip the email message Mary sent to her,
>   warning the OD about the ripster.  But in her haste, she once
>   again spills her cherry coke on the fax and

Is this a recurring problem, Judi?  Will someone have to take you
aside and explain to you the fax of life??

-- George (ReasonableFacsimile) Mitchell (george@tessi.com)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: jorichar@csws19.ic.sunysb.edu (Joel Richard)
Subject: Re: What is LOVE ?
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 16:30:16 GMT

In article <1992Aug29.204117.13445@afit.af.mil> jholtgra@afit.af.mil (Jeremy C. Holtgrave) writes:
>In article <1992Aug18.160707.9561@uoft02.utoledo.edu> steiner@jupiter.cse.utoledo.edu (jason "Think!" steiner) writes:
>>ankolamb@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Guess Who ?) writes:
>>> 
>>> Just a question....
>>> 
>>> What is LOVE ??
>
>Just another four letter word...

To you maybe, but I know what it is and I cannot put it in words...
Though it did take me months to finally realize what it is...

-Joel (currently in de-lurk mode)
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Joel Richard                    ||   <Insert cute/significant saying here>  |
|INTERNET jorichar@ic.sunysb.edu ||    <Or insert neat ASCII picture here>
|BITNET   jorichar@sbccmail      ||    <Better yet, don't insert ANYTHING>   |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: afdenis@mars.lerc.nasa.gov (Syntax Error)
Subject: Re: fantasies
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
Date: 25 Aug 1992 18:58 EDT  

In article <1992Aug25.083754.20858@walter.cray.com>, nelson@eastrg1.cray.com (Christine Nelson) writes...
>erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:
>>Dawn Bott (ae498@yfn.ysu.edu) wrote:
>>: I have to agree that being in the wild outdoors is possibly
>>: the most exciting place to make love....
>>: but instead of the thunder and lightning....                                  >: I kinda like the idea of a being out in a snow storm.
>>: >Brrrrr.....!
>|> : 
>|> : Whatsa matter, Ed?  Don't like snow?
>|> : It doesn't necessarily have to be all that
>|> : cold to snow, and when there are two people
>|> : doing all they can to keep the other warm...
>|> :  
>|> Well, it's the thought of my warm body hitting that cooooold snow before
>|> she can distract me enough for it not to matter... :)
> 
>who says you have to be on the bottom, ed?  or that you wouldn't be
>distracted enough _before_ hitting the snow anyway...
> 

You wouldn't be trying to give poor old Ed a ...

SNOW JOB, would you Christine ? 

And as far as position is concerned, well the women's groups have finally 
convinced Ed that Female and Superior are two words that are inexorably linked. 

:-)

Hard to get past all that propeganda... 

>c

Y'know, typing in all lower case *should* be a capital offense ! :-)

-- Stephen
		Love shares at least *one* common trait with the Great
		White Shark. When it *stops* moving forward, it dies.