Newsgroups: alt.child-support
Subject: Re: Scriptures are the sexiest.(was RE: Evil
From: lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca
Date: Wed, 06 Jan 93 08:28:26 PST
Organization: The Old Coot's (Spare) Almanac

jabolliger@miavx3.mid.muohio.edu writes:

> 	Wow! The hate in this group is tedious.  About every time
> I read through alt.childsupport I feel like I'm wading through
> a group of angry men.  men who are specifically  angry with their
> exwives and this spills over to women in general.  Why do I read
> it then?  Good question.
> 				JA
Here's a question for you "JA", is "JA" your actual name, or just
initials?  I couldn't tell from your e-mail address.  Are you male
or female?

It does appear to me that there are some men out there to which your
above comments apply, but there are others who strike me as quite
balanced in their entries (able to keep the issues in perspective,
for the purposes of intelligent discussion/debate), even though
I may not see things the way they do at times, and vice versa.

I might add that I am the founder of a group here called "P.E.R.C.S."
which is primarily for CPs having difficulty getting child support
from ex's who can, but do not, pay it.  Not surprisingly, so far
all but one of our members are women and some of them are also so
bitter and angry with their ex's, that they are not able to make a
distinction between their ex-husbands, and male NCPs in general.

As the founder and chairperson for P.E.R.C.S., I find it quite a
challenge to be an active, supportive listener for those women,
while also working to encourage them to see that not all male NCPs
are schmucks without a conscience.  Nevermind trying to introduce
them to the reality that some NCPs, male or female, are really
getting the dirty end of the stick in some cases.  There are even
those who may feel (self-righteously) entitled to more spousal/child
support than they get, not out of need, but simply because they want
every penny they can get from their ex's.

The issues are extremely difficult to navigate any way you slice it.
Still, we need to start somewhere, and listening closely to all
concerned may help us in the long run, one and all.

I do feel that some people just aren't ready to consider any other
reality than their own, and I get to the point with some of them,
where I no longer choose to spend time and energy attempting to
discuss issues with them, because they do not appear to be listening
with any intent to *LEARN*.  If people are only interested in attacking,
you're right, no sense bothering after awhile.

If you're selective about which posts you feel it worthwhile to respond to,
I think you'll find there's still a lot of posters on this net worth
hearing from.  Even those who are REALLY full of vengeful energy can provide
us with perspectives we may not have considered before.  Even if we don't
agree with all or can't be bothered to pursue issues with some of those
angry folk, at least we can see where some of our more poisonous difficulties
are, and try to find a way through them to a better reality for everyone.

Lisa

               lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca (Lisa Lambeth)
                      The Old Coot's Almanac
               Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada
                    Courtesy the old coot hisse'f!
Newsgroups: alt.child-support