From: thughes@ug.cs.dal.ca (Tracy L. Hughes)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: Re: Men's/Women's Roles in Marriage
Date: 10 Oct 92 06:34:32 GMT
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada

One argument I am often concerned with seeing...one that is in support
of women submitting to their husbands in marriage, is the following:

The position that the man takes is the one with greater responsibility,
 ergo the most difficult.  A man is commanded to love his wife more than
 himself, and this is near impossible to do in all situations.  A woman
 should have no problems submitting herself to a man who is willing to
 die for her.

The problem with this is as follows:

Starting from the last point and going to the first:
1. Neither should a man have a problem submitting himself to a wife that
   is willing to die for him...:)  So this does not follow.
2. So is a wife commanded to love her husband more than herself.  The 
   commandment for us all to love one another as Christ loved us (i.e.
   more than ourselves) extends to all of us.  It is a sexless comment.
   If Christ had meant it to be one way, he would have stated it one
   way.  Marriage does not take this responsibility away from the wife.
   So this does not follow...
3. The position of Submission is always the most difficult for a thinking
   human being.  Why do you think it is so many of us desire to have our
   own way all the time.  And why do you think it is that it is so hard
   to Submit ourselves to God's will.  It is because we all desire, to
   some extent, to have things our own way.  In defining the Christian
   role as the one of Submission, Christ was defining the most difficult
   path to follow (you all remember the quotes from the New Testament on
   the path to God being narrow).  We all desire to lead to some extent...if
   not to lead other people at least to lead our own lives.  This is the point
   of the fall...rather than submit to God's will humans wanted to think
   for themselves.  Responsibility is, of course, a necessary attachment
   to leadership.  I think most humans, given the choice, would choose the
   leadership.  Have you ever considered why so many women complain about
   their present status in Christianity if their position is truly the
   least difficult and ergo the most desired?  This is a myth.  Submission
   has ALWAYS been the hardest thing for a human being to handle.  If it
   wasn't, there wouldn't have been a fall.  So this point, like the others,
   doesn't follow.

None of the above reasons constitute a justification for women's roles in
Christianity.  Men have the desired role.  (if they didn't there wouldn't
be a problem, now would there?).  What is needed for the "things should
stay as they are" side of the argument is not justifications like these
but solid proof that this is how God intended us to live our lives.  And the
problem here is this depends on how you view the Bible.  If you view every
word as absolutely true (despite the well known fact that the Bible does
contain contradictions...mind you this may be a translation problem) then
you need go no further to find your proof.  If, however, you define the
Bible as simply carrying the essential tenents of Christianity rather than
being word-for-word true (i.e. The words of Christ hold the weight..as long
as they (and the ten commandments, which follow from the words of Christ)
are obeyed then what doesnt follow directly from them can be overlooked as
a symptom of the social context in which the verse in question was written),
then a group of Christians can find a clear reason why the clause that
women submit to their husbands is not essential and ergo can be ignored.

Is it worth damaging the faith of so many modern day women who view marriage
as a joining of equals and who view women's equality as something which is
clearly right, to insist that such an inessential clause, one that does
not logically follow from Christ's commandments to us except BOTH ways..
i.e. husband and wife BOTH submit to each other as we should all submit to
those we love...be followed.  I think it does more harm than good.


				       -Tracy