From: daf@wts.com (David A. (Dave) Fox)
Subject: Re: Mututal Break Up -- HELP
Organization: Wegmans Transaction Services
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 14:44:36 GMT

In article <s84eoB1w164w@eastern.COM> singh@eastern.COM (Rajendra Singh) writes:
>A few days ago, my girlfriend and I decided that it would be in the best 
>interest of everyone involved (i. e.  me,  her, and parents) to end our 
>relationship.  

   Sounds to me like there may be more reasons than your aware of.  If she 
is so overshadowed by her parents than she probably is not ready for the 
relationship you would like to have with her.

>Maybe I should explain more:  She's Italian, and I'm Indian.  
>We had been seeing each other for 2.5 years.  The problem is that I didn't 
>realize how tough it would be to end the relationship while we still loved 
>each other.

    As for the racially difference I think that, if both of you had come to 
an agreement about your different cultures than this is a silly reason to 
break up.  However, her parents (so it sounds) never came to the understanding
of you two as a couple, and therefore applied pressure to her.  

   And of course it would be difficult to break up with someone.  It always is
and if you both do love each other, than giving in to either parents demands 
is a mistake.  Why should you two give up your happiness to satisfy people
not immediately involved in the relationship?

>Some of the reasons we gave for ending the relationship was our cultureal 
>differences, our (mostly her's) parent's objections, and a few other minor 
>things.

   See last statement above...

>I can't seem to get her out of her mind.  Maybe it's asking too much, but 
>can someone offer me some advice?
>
>Another reason why we decided to end it was the fact that we'd rather have 
>it end now than end up in marriage then divorce.
>

   I wouldn't even think that you could get her out of your mind, silly to try.

   Look sooner or later both of you have to become your own people.  If you 
don't than other (like her parents) are going to be running and (ruining) your
entire lives.  Breaking away takes courage and hope that your parents love you
enough that they will understand.  However they must give you your life, hell 
they made their own mistakes when they were young, and they make mistakes now.
They are people, just like you and me.  They do NOT know what is best, they 
just have their opinions.  As long as both of you are happy with the 
agreements between you, then you should live your lives.

  If you two can not make your parents understand that you two are a couple and
will continue to be a couple, whether or not they like it, then it is better 
to end your relationship and find someone who it pleasing to your parents (not 
that your feelings have anything to do with your life)

  As for a marriage ending in divorce, who is to say that marriage to someone 
else would not end in divorce? Your parents? Come on, get away and live your
own life, do what you think is best for your life, then accept your decision
and move on.

Dave 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
#include <stddsclmr.h>                    uunet!wts!daf
                                          daf@wts

This is george, and I will love him and pet him, and squeeze him and hug him...