HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How do you tell a girl your feelings?
Date: 9 Oct 92 21:18:46 GMT
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:
> AVERNON1@ua1vm.ua.edu (Andrew Vernon) writes:
> >Guideline number one: DON'T DO IT!!!! Every female friend I've 
> >approached in this situation, save one, has turned on me. 
>
> I'm just interested in asking all a.r fans what their past 
> experiences in this matter is (ie, how many good friends they had 
> tried to become more than friends, how many succeeded, how come it 
> worked, how many failed, and why it didn't work...I think a full 
> discussion could be enlightening to some (namely, me)...well, if ya 
> have some experience, post! :)

until a very short while ago i agreed completely with Andrew Vernon.
i'm the type who tries to learn from other's mistakes & had seen
-many- friendships ruined.

so it came as a bit of a shock to me when the situation happened the
other way 'round... it's odd having a close friend become interested
in you, but i've found that after the initial surprise it's also
very enjoyable. difficult to describe but highly recommended.

jason "sorry to parade on your rain" steiner

--
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`
`,` Democrat:    Give us your money. _We'll_ solve your problems. `,`
`,` Republican:  Give us your money. We'll ignore your problems.  `,`
`,` Libertarian: Keep your money. Solve your own problems.        `,`
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu ,`,`,`
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: eda772dsys@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au
Subject: Re: Query
Organization: Computer Centre, Monash University, Australia
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 06:52:32 GMT

In article <1992Oct11.040258.23374@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au>, cskksc@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Chung S Khan) writes:
> In article <1992Oct9.091556.1@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au> s342063@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au writes:
>>In reply to s344021@emu.insted.edu.au :
>>
>>I believe that an SO is a "significant other"
>>
>>Would someone clarify this please ?
>>
>>Hope that helps :)

   To me it would mean Sweet One ;-)

Ash
eda772dsys@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au
From: enrietjr@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (jennifer)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Women and Buses
Date: 13 Oct 92 00:05:16 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center


	No actually, 

		men are like an average bussing system...

	 	There is one going by every five minutes, 

		it's simply the women's job to catch the right one!

	
			had to be said

			-*-Jennifer-*-
From: gcv2010@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How do you know if you are in love?
Date: 11 Oct 92 16:28:23 GMT
Reply-To: gcv2010@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University

In article <1992Oct10.054655.28414@netcom.com>, marcia@netcom.com (Marcia) writes:
>In article <BvM7K0.wI@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> darkmoor@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Darkmoore) writes:
>>
>>  How do you know if you are in love?
>
>I've thought about this a lot, and the only answer I come up with is: you
>are in love if you label it such. 
>
>It seems like a cop out, but I look at all the lists, and I don't agree 
>with any of them.

I've read a few of these responses, and this is the only one I agree with. 
You'll know you're in love when it happens, you don't have to ask for a list of
criteria and opinions.

IMHO, and experience, Love sneaks up behind you and hits you over the head with
a shovel and runs away laughing gleefully.  And you may say, NO, WAIT, this
is not the one I would have chosen, this is not how I thought it would be,
can't we talk this over....but it won't matter.  You're in love.
And because you love this person, this person will bring out all of your
best qualities and you will feel like a new, improved version of yourself. 

Someone will ask you why you love this person, and while you may be able to
list their admirable qualities ad nauseum, the Real, True Answer will be a slow
shrug of the shoulders, a soft smile, and an "I don't know.  I just love."

Cheryl
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: gcv2010@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: Re: Hunt them down and kill them (ALSO Advice on Long Distance Romance)
Reply-To: gcv2010@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 16:13:08 GMT

In article <1992Oct10.053941.27696@netcom.com>, marcia@netcom.com (Marcia) writes:
>In article <2OCT199212024732@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov> afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes:

>I've been hurt down to the quick. I've also hurt others. It's worse to hurt
>others. I can't see how people would do something like that lightly.
>-- 
I disagree.  I don't think it's worse to hurt others.  (I can see I'm going to
be misunderstood and will probably go down in flames.)  It is somewhat painful
to hurt others, but it doesn't even begin to compare to one's own broken heart.
If I hurt someone, I'll see it in their eyes, but then I can move on.  If
someone hurts me, I have to learn to live with that pain.

On that note:  I see a lot of people replying "forget him/her, move on, date
others, they're not worth it"  etc., ad nauseum.  How about tips for forgetting
and moving on?  For example, I've been dating others, but no one even begins to
compare to the one who stole my heart.  So, either someone has some tried and
true advice or I'm just going to give up and be the little old lady in the
house on the corner with 100 cats.  

Cheryl

p.s.  I'm still not a feminist, Rodolfo.  :)
From: stefan@spc.nl (Stefan Posthuma)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How do you know if you are in love?
Date: 12 Oct 92 15:44:57 GMT
Organization: SPC Company BV, The Netherlands

gcv2010@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:

>IMHO, and experience, Love sneaks up behind you and hits you over the head with
>a shovel and runs away laughing gleefully.  And you may say, NO, WAIT, this
>is not the one I would have chosen, this is not how I thought it would be,
>can't we talk this over....but it won't matter.  You're in love.
>And because you love this person, this person will bring out all of your
>best qualities and you will feel like a new, improved version of yourself. 

>Someone will ask you why you love this person, and while you may be able to
>list their admirable qualities ad nauseum, the Real, True Answer will be a slow
>shrug of the shoulders, a soft smile, and an "I don't know.  I just love."

My idea exactly. It happened to me some time ago and in the beginning I was
still staggering from the blow, I mean it happened at the moment I least
expected it, and since it had been such a long time I couldn't believe it. Also,
at this moment she's a few thousand miles away, I didn't just fall in love, I
fell in long distance love and it worried me in the beginning...
But now, I'm sure. Why? Dunno. 
It just happened. She feels exactly the same way, she was in exactly the same
situation I was in. Love works in mysterious ways for sure... No way I can
go through a list and at the end decide I'm in love or not. I just am.
You cannot capture love in a definition, it's a feeling. And feelings are
different for each individual, and for me love is one of the most complex ones,
and also one of the most (mind-)time consuming :-)

Take care,

	Stefan
-- 
"We convoke the Nephilim and they come  {*}  Stefan Posthuma,  SPC Company
to us, strangers with the eyes of men."  |   stefan@spc.nl
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: emanuel@dxcern.cern.ch (Emanuel Machado)
Subject: Re: When guys lose their tempers
Organization: CERN European Lab for Particle Physics
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 10:32:05 GMT

In <1bhdt8INN7k1@bigboote.WPI.EDU> walkerr@bigwpi.WPI.EDU (Robert A Walker) writes:

>In article <1992Oct13.184336.28223@dxcern.cern.ch> emanuel@dxcern.cern.ch (Emanuel Machado) writes:
>>
>>        Why is verbal abuse better than physical abuse (as in hitting your
>>SO  -- lemme be more general)?  For me, both are forms of desrespect, both
>>can be A LOT damaging (sometimes verbal abuse can be MUCH more  damaging),
>>and neither should be present in a loving relationship.

> [personal example deleted for brevity]
>                                              But with verbal abuse or just
>plain arguing, they are both on equal terms, depending on the charachteristics
>of the two involved.

        Hmm.  Not always, I suppose.  For example, if you  have  a  person
who  is  by  nature  talkative, as opposed to his/her SO who is the silent
type, then you might have a mismatch in verbal "weaponry".  If they really
are  into  this  verbal abuse stuff, you can guess who will end up feeling
miserable (probably both at some point, but for  different  reasons).  Or,
for  the  lack  of  verbal  weaponry, the other person may resort to other
kinds of weaponry (physical abuse of ANY sort comes to mind).

>                      Verbal abuse, not arguing, is wrong too, but hitting
>can cause many more problems, like broken bones and death and jail and neat 
>little undesirable things like that.

	Definitely... not very convenient... :-)

	WARNING: simplistic aproximation possible!

	As I think of verbal abuse in a relationship, I think  more  as  a
response  to  some  kind of hurt.  Like, if everything is going roses, why
would you abuse?  But it's mainly when you feel threatened, or hurt,  that
you may feel the "urge" to fight back, to hurt back.

	Personnally, I TRY to resist this urge.

        Actually, I think that a good  test  for  a  relationship  happens
exactly  when  there  is  a  big  problem  that  both  have  to face.  How
respecfully, caringly, one deals with it, gives a LOT  of  information  to
the other person, and may immediately tell him/her which way to go, IMHO.

	Emanuel

-- 
Emanuel T.M. Machado (PPE/CPL)|  "Who Wills, Can     | European Laboratory for
  __                        _ |   Who Tries, Does    | Particle Physics (CERN)
 /_  ____   _   __  , , _  |/ |   Who Loves, Lives"  | -- Internet Address --
/_  / / / /_ < / / /_/ <'_ /_ |    -- Anne McCaffery | emanuel@dxcern.cern.ch
From: wjb@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Bill Buse)
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 17:41:41 GMT
Subject: Re: Romantic walks
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Loveland, CO
Newsgroups: alt.romance

In alt.romance, marcelg@zooid.guild.org (Michel Goudeseune) writes:
 > Bike hand in hand.  Seriously.  2 bikes.  2 riders holding hands.  A bit 
 > surprising if you've never seen that before.
 >
 > Hmm, I wonder if anyone else has any suggestions of romantic ways to get from
 > point A to point B.

How about one of those tandem bikes, where both of you ride together on the
same bike??   :-)  I've never tried one, but they look like they could be
romantic and lots of fun.  

If you're around water, a boat or canoe also can be a romantic way to get
from point A to point B.  :-) 

Bill
wjb@hpisla.lvld.hp.com
Loveland, CO
From: s342063@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Men.
Date: 7 Oct 92 15:26:35 GMT

MEN.

They say they really love you,
but they never really do.
They say you are the one and only,
but it's never really true,
They say you'll be together,
for ever and a day,
But somehow things don't seem
to quite work out that way.

Kezzle.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Subject: Re: Gifts for Men (Re: Anniversery Gift Suggestions?)
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 06:07:45 GMT

In article <1992Oct10.034046.4286@wetware.com> diana@wetware.com (CatWoman ) writes:
>For ANY person, the most romantic gift you can give
>them is the one that shows you think about them.  No
>bunch of flowers or ring or stuffed bear will automatically
>be considered romantic by YOUR partner.  I know it 
>would not be considered so by mine.

But don't rule these out, either......sometimes that's EXACTLY what they
want :-).

Like you said, you have to listen to them, and know what they like.

-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: martini@heaven7.in-berlin.de (Martin P. Ibert)
Subject: Re: What do you want from us?
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 22:25:07 GMT
Organization: The Seventh Heaven, Berlin, Germany

mlb@CISCO.COM (Marcia Bednarcyk) writes:
> In article <1992Oct2.193734.1004@eskimo.celestial.com>, witters@eskimo.celestial.com (John Witters) writes:
> |> 	Bob, I love you.
> |> 	I wanna get married.
> |> 	I wanna have your children.
> |> She claims most guys leave skid marks because they run away so fast.

Hmm. If my girlfriend were to say such a thing to me. I'd hug her tenderly.
Okay, we have agreed pretty much on the getting-married part, it's the
having-children part that needs more discussion :-) [With me being the one
who wants some, of course.]
-- 
___*___  Martin P. Ibert - Westendallee 100 d, D-1000 Berlin 19 - +4930-3056541
=======  E-mail to martini@{heaven7.{in-berlin.de|sub.org}|cloud9.in-berlin.de}
||| |||  ----------------------------------------------------------------------
||| |||  ------ Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die ------
From: moore7004@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How to tell if you are in love
Date: 12 Oct 92 02:48:02 -0500
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

In article <1992Oct5.174734.6397@ennews.eas.asu.edu>, naveena@enuxhb.eas.asu.edu (Naveena Michael) writes:
> 
> Hi again folks
> 	This question of how to tell if you are in love has always baffled me.
> But more so as to how to distinguish between infatuation and love.... When you
> are infatuated with a person you FEEL that you are in love with that person,
> right?
> 	And somebody suggested that we wait and find out...well for how long
> does one wait??.  What is a SURE sign that you are in love with the person
> and not just infatuated with them.
> 
> Naveena

Simple, Naveena.  You KILL them, so that they never love anyone else.

(Whoa, sorry there, been a bad day..)
From: s344021@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Birthday gift for a girlfriend
Date: 15 Oct 92 16:00:21 GMT

lIn article <23620@hacgate.SCG.HAC.COM>, wheeler@edp.edsg.hac.com (Bob Wheeler ird) writes:
> Help.
> 
> I want to give my girlfriend a "Kladaugh" (spelling?) ring for her birthday.
> A Kladaugh ring is the Irish equivalent of a promise ring.  It has hands
> wrapping around and touching a heart with a crown on the heart.
> 
> Does anyone know where I can find one?
> 
> 	Peace!
> 
> 	Bob Wheeler.

Hi...
I Have one...got it for my brithday and I also know where you can get one but
the problem is ... I only know places in Australia!!!

So unless you are willing to fly to Melbourne, Australia then I'm afraid
I can't help you....

There is an Irish shop in Melbourne that has them as rings earing and
broaches(sp?) etc....

Perhaps if you knew anyone in Australia that would be willing to post it to
you... They are pretty common in most jewellery shops here

Gizz
s344021@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au
From: moore7004@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Nice Guys?
Date: 12 Oct 92 02:53:06 -0500
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

In article <1992Oct6.121342.4775@bnr.co.uk>, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
> Quite. Which is why I've come to the conclusion that it's just not worth
> worrying about finding someone any more -- the chances of finding someone
> you like as much as you like the look of just seem so slim, why bother? :-\

Man, here I tune in to alt.romance, and suddenly I discover it's ACTUALLY
alt.existential.angst.  Whoa.  This is just one REALLY bad day.  Suppose I
should take my day somewhere else, huh.
From: 01ksdavis@bsu-ucs.uucp (Rebel without a clue.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: How long has it been?
Date: 16 Oct 92 04:16:47 GMT
Followup-To: misc.test

In article <1bg40hINNes9@fido.asd.sgi.com>, cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
> ---
> 01ksdavis@bsu-ucs.uucp (Rebel without a clue.) was kissed this
> long ago:
> |	Five hours and thirty odd some minutes ago.
> |	(Not a relative, same person as the time before.)
> 
> Oh, wow.  He's been kissed TWICE in his lifetime.
> Golly, I'm so impressed.

	Actually, your guess is way off.  If you want to verify this, 
C J, I can post my ex-girlfriends email address and you can verify that
during our past relationship we kissed many times, among other things.
 
> ---
> c j silverio
> followups directed appropriately

	Appropriately?  Hmmm....

	Clever, following up to the .test newsgroup.  I have a reputation to
uphold here (as a clueless rebel? :-)

	The point you make is valid.  We really have no way of knowing if 
everybody in this thread is telling the truth.  For all you know, we could be
lying to you.  

	I tried emailing you, but this part that you have brought up and that
I have expanded upon I think the other usenetters would want to read.

	I guess you are sort of upset by those who have been kissed recently
(including me)  That's okay.  It is your constitutional right.  I sort of wonder
about couples who post to this thread who kiss while they are posting.


	One last thing, C J.  In *none* of my posts do I ever try to make other
people upset.  The reason why I keep posting this is because this individual
makes me very happy.  So happy that rational thought often leaves me.
 ______________________________________________________________________________
|Kyle S. Davis				                                       |
|2000HD	1MbRAM//                                Hot VWs               1973     |
|1084s       //  Only Amiga makes it possible,    \/   Take 2 home-   311      |
|Oki 20   \\//   All others make it plausible.   \/\/  They're small.          |
|
|______________________________________________________________________________|
From: pa_ross@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Mr Rossy)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Army Boots?
Date: 8 Oct 92 10:12:46 GMT
Organization: University of the West of England, Bristol

>over by the sexist jokes or hitting the glass ceiling; we want to truly SHARE
>the power base.  Fair enuff, eh??

This does not sound like Feminism to me it sounds more like equality, a
concept I agree with whole heartedly (sp?)

					 Paul
					=----=
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Am I in Love?
Date: 17 Oct 92 02:36:44 GMT
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II

In article <1992Oct16.033949.13586@cs.ucla.edu> coleman@rocky.cs.ucla.edu (Mike Coleman) writes:
>>marcia@netcom.com (Marcia) writes:
>>|I've been in situations where we both liked each other and tried going out,
>>|but we just liked each other too much to fall in love.
>The obvious (if ungrammatical) question here is
>
>   Just how much can you like someone and still fall in love with them?

Quite a bit, actually. But with some people, all the feeling you have for
them in filled up with like, and good like at that, that there's just not
the right stuff for "in love". Neither of us minded in this case - we just
keep on being friends.
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
From: p00139@psilink.com (Raistlin Majere)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Query
Date: 11 Oct 92 03:01:23 GMT
Organization: Tower of High Sorcery - Palanthas
X-Mailer: PSILink (3.2)

>DATE:   Thu, 08 Oct 1992 23:46:43 GMT
>FROM:   glenn eldon conser <conser@CS.ColoState.EDU>
>
>In article <1992Oct8.142455.1@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au> s344021@emu.insted.unimelb.edu.au writes:
>
>>By the way...you have probable been asked this quite a lot but can someone
>>please mail me and explain the Initial abreviations you all use for some of
>>the words...
>
>Me too, please.  Or maybe some kind soul could post them?
>

	Check out "soc.singles"...someone just posted them there....

>-- 
>See Ya'
>-- Glenn
>		If money can't buy love, why do all my dates 
>			start at the cash machine?
*****************************************************************************
  "Being called a bozo by Ted Turner is like being called ugly by a frog."
				- Susan Smith, Anti-Choice activist
"Being called ugly by Susan Smith is like being called stupid by Dan Quayle."
				- Raistlin Majere, Pro-Choice Activist
*****************************************************************************
	     Raistlin Majere @ Tower of High Sorcery - Palanthas
*****************************************************************************
From: keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: An emerald as an engagement ring?
Date: 14 Oct 92 22:02:10 GMT
Organization: California-Nevada Methodist Homes

In article <1992Oct11.200412.624@news.uiowa.edu> haferman@icaen.uiowa.edu (Jeff Haferman) writes:
>  How does this ring "stuff" work?
>

Typically, you want the wedding band to match the 
engagement ring.  This is why most people buy the
wedding band and ring at the same time.  However, it
really depends a lot on the style of engagement ring you buy.
If you have an engagement ring custome made to your own
specifications, then you would probably need to bring
it in to the jeweler to have them match a wedding band
to it.  A friend of mine designed his wifes engagement
ring.  It didn't go straight around; it kind of zig-zagged
around her finger.  So he had to bring it in so the 
jeweler could match the band's zigs to the other ring's
zaggs.
	However, when I got engaged and later married, I
bought the engagement ring first.  In this way, if she later
backed out of the engagement, then at least I hadn't
wasted money on the wedding band.  Fortunately she didn't
back out, and when I later went in to buy the wedding band,
I had a slight problem.  I wanted her wedding band to have
diamonds on it as well.  In order to match the clarity of 
the diamonds on the band with those on the engagement ring,
I had to borrow the ring so the diamonds would match.  
--Keith

From: kingsley@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com (Kingsley Morse)
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 15:42:26 GMT
Subject: Re: Please Help
Organization: HP Western Response Center
Newsgroups: alt.romance

Oops! My apologies for posting my previous "Please Help" survey to this
group. It was an honest mistake and won't happen again.

Kingsley
Newsgroups: alt.romance