From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: My many admirers are at it yet again.
Date: 31 Aug 92 17:19:46 GMT
Organization: Elkhorn Yacht Club, Moss Landing CA

So, where was I? Oh yeah. I was renting this studio thinking I'd be out
of here by May or June and here it is almost September with no
resolution in sight. I had gotten a real good deal on it because my
landlady had the house on the market and wanted someone who could be out
in 2 weeks if she sold it, plus she knocked the rent down if I'd keep it
real nice so it could be shown any time. I thought I was safe because
California is mired in recession and no real estate is moving right?

Well she sold the fucking place and out I went.

So my man Leroy tells me I can rent the downstairs part of his house.
Leroy is a Libertarian and has no patience with permit processes and
taxes so it seems he turned his house into a duplex (a triplex actually)
without telling anyone. I checked it out and it was pretty qool so I
rented it. He never had installed another phone line and since I only
expected to be there a short time we agreed to just use the one in there
like a party line. I also met his girlfriend who lives with him who
shall remain unnamed for reasons which may become obvious. She was cute
in a gamine sort of way, with no h00ters worth mentioning. (There, got the
obligatory h00ters in.)    

So then I go the Navy personnel and pay offices and fill out the forms
to get my housing allowance. Now they are wise to all the scams and keep
a pretty tight watch over people filing these forms, so I shouldn't have
been surprised when they called me in. Seems they had matched a couple
of fields (address and phone) with another Navy person making a claim
for housing. Ta-da! Seems Leroy's girlfriend is a Seaman (why doesn't
that sound right?) in the Navy at another base. Now I had no clue as to
this fact. They had me in cause both of us had claimed we weren't sharing
quarters. I wasn't, but technically she was and should have told them.

Anyway, one of my many admirers must have latched onto this. I can see
this some unknown clueless bastard chuckling over this as he thinks "Got
you now White!". Now if you work somewhere and take up romantically with
someone who works for your company it is called an "office romance", 
in the Navy this is called "fraternization" and it is a felony offense.
So now they are investigating me for fraud and fraternization. I am here
to tell you that it is better to share a house with two dykes than with
a Navy woman. It is also curious because two months ago they were making
me take lie-detector tests to prove I was not gay and now they think I'm
shacking up with an enlisted babe. Someone ought to give these people a
clue that these are (in my mind at least) mutually exclusive states, but
they check it out any way. With dumb fucks like these in charge it amazes
me that we were able to do what we did to Iraq.

Anyway, if they don't harass me regularly I get worried and feel
neglected so it was almost kind of fun almost dealing with the clueless
bureaucrats again. 

rp -- I walked, the girl got in some kind of trouble and moved out on
      Leroy last night.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre