HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: baylor@nebula.ssd.lmsc.lockheed.com
Subject: Re: jokes?
Reply-To: baylor@nebula.ssd.lmsc.lockheed.com
Organization: LMSC, Sunnyvale, California
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 16:51:22 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.173936.13214@javelin.sim.es.com>, rspeirs@javelin.sim.es.com (Ron Speirs) writes:
>In article <BvCKt2.75G@news.cso.uiuc.edu> jhl28500@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Jae Hyung Lim) writes:
>>
>>I'm looking for math and science jokes people might have on hand.  It's both
>>for my own enjoyment and for the purpose of annoying friends =).
>>So if you've got 'em either mail them to me or post them here (I'd prefer email
>>rather than post though.)
>>Oh yes if you have puns which are science/math related or if the jokes are 
>>heavily dependent on puns they would be more than welcome.  Just send them to
>>me, I'll make a good home for them.
>
>Draw this on a piece of paper, then ask what it is:
[very large picture deleted]
>A Ferrous Wheel
>
>
Good grief! I didn't even think of chemist jokes!

 C---C---C---O---C---C---C
 |   |   |       |   |   |
/ \ / \ / \     / \ / \ / \

Is, of course, the propyl people ether!
There was a good one posted in sci.engr a month or so ago with
the punch line "Too many Poles in the right half-plane."
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.science:3656 alt.folklore.urban:24899
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science,alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Metrication and "normal usage"
From: comjohn@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz (Mr. John T Jensen)
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 19:17:30 GMT
Organization: University of Auckland, New Zealand.

rf@cl.cam.ac.uk (Robin Fairbairns) writes:

>For common use, you need what you're used to.  For example, I still
>talk in inches though my children talk in metric, because of the
>principle system in use when we were at our respective schools.  I
>`understand' (in the sense of being able to visualise) both imperial
>and cgs, mks and SI metric, since that's what I was actually taught
>(or have had need to use).  They understand only metric.

Indeed, what one is used to is more than just what one is taught.  My
experience in NZ is that everyone now uses C for temperature, because that
is how the weather is reported on radio and television.  Likewise, everyone
uses km/h (rather, the barbarism 'kay' as in 'wow, man, he was going 140 kay
when he hit the power pole!') because the road signs are in km/h, the speed
limits likewise.  People use grams and kilograms because that's what's in
the shop.  People use metres and millimetres for things such as measuring
for carpentry because their rulers are specified in those measures.  But
very many people, including even the quite young, who have been taught
metric, quote height in feet and inches, and weight in stones.  Well, to be
accurate, you do hear both, but you hear height and weight in English from a
great many people who certainly use metric otherwise.  I suspect that the
height and weight business may come from the fact that kids first learn
their height and weight from parents who cite it in English.  Volume is in
litres, but car mileage is often enough heard in miles per gallon --- which
is still confusing because people often don't realise the US uses a short
gallon so they compare advertised US mileage figures from American magazines
with the ones they get in their own cars which makes the US ones sound
pretty lousy.

Of course non-standard metric culture is growing independently of the
official rules.  Everyone but me says 'kiLOMiter' --- I, of course, pronounce
it correctly as "KILLomeet'er", as the rules say --- and then have to
explain what I mean half the time!  "KEE-LOH" universally means kilogram,
leading some people to say "KEElogram".  And so forth.  Takes three
generations to settle down, I reckon.  NZ has been metricating for only
about twenty years now.

jj

John Thayer Jensen                      64 9 373 7599 ext. 7543
Commerce Computer Services              64 9 373 7437 (FAX)
Auckland University                     jt.jensen@aukuni.ac.nz
Private Bag 92019
AUCKLAND
New Zealand
From: dam@dcs.glasgow.ac.uk (David Morning)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: noise cancellation (was Re: using green marker on CDs)
Date: 1 Oct 92 12:36:37 GMT
Organization: Glasgow University Computing Science Dept.


>In article <1992Sep25.064612.27012@eng.ufl.edu> george@beta.ee.ufl.edu (George L) writes:
>>
>>On a similar note, and hopefully a new and different thread, has there been 
>>any success at environmental noise cancellation? Not noise masking, where a 
>>relaxing noise source (bubbling water, etc...) is used to drown out other 
>>unwanted noise. Instead, something that would listen to the environment, and 
>>generate another signal which would actually reduce the magnitude of the 
>>unwanted noise. Kind of like using odor-eaters in your tennis shoes as opposed 

There was a sytem used in some cars wich used a microphone to pick up the
noise, phase reverse it and put it out again thus reducing noise by phase
cancelling.

Haven't heard much of it recently though so I'd guess it didn't work too
well.

Dave

-- 
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
From: mtpins@icaen.uiowa.edu (Michael T Pins)
Subject: Re: oversampling (was Re: using green marker on CDs)
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 21:04:18 GMT
Organization: University of Iowa, Iowa City, IA, USA

hedley@metro (Mark Hedley) writes:

>From article <2078@sdrc.COM>, by scjones@thor.sdrc.com (Larry Jones):
-> 
-> Ah, but you can!  The way oversampling works is by sending samples into
-> the D to A converter at a higher rate than the original sampling frequency
-> (hence OVERsampling).  For 8 times oversampling, you send 7 extra samples
-> into the converter for each original sample -- that raises the frequency
-> of the digital noise, moving it farther away from the analog signal and
-> thus making it easier to filter out.  The tricky question, of course, is
-> where do you get the extra samples to feed into the D to A?  There's no
-> way to interpolate reasonable values since you don't have sufficient
-> information to do so (thank you, Mr. Nyquist), so what to do?  Since the

>Wrong!! With Nyquist sampling (which can be assumed for CD) the time domain
>can be perfectly reconstructed - it is called sinc interpolation.

Wrong!! (why is it that people who don't know what they are talking about
always want to add !!! to what they say?)
Nyquist's theorem only holds true if the signal is unbounded in the time
domain.  Now while it is true that much of what passes for music today
*seems* like it lasts forever, it doesn't.  For real world cases where
the signal is bounded in the time domain, "Nyquist sampling" approximates,
but doesn't equal, the original.  

-- 
*****************************************************************************
* Michael Pins                |   Internet: amigapd@isca.uiowa.edu          *
* ISCA's Amiga Librarian      |         #include <std.disclaimer>           *
*****************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Phony SCIFI on TV and in Movies
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 09:29:51 GMT

In article <BvEvHu.DCw@unx.sas.com> saskxm@grovel.unx.sas.com (Kevin Mosman) writes:
>
>
>ya know, ya never see Wesley or Tasha or the original ship's Dr anymore, ...

Wrong, Dr. Pulaski wasn't the original CMO, Bev was, but she was out of the
show for a season, replaced by Dr. Pulaski, then Pulaski was dumped in
favor of Bev again.

Wesley shows up occasionally, and Tasha is contrived up even less, since
it's now not clear which time-line Tasha exists in.  All of it seems to
hinge on how much Guinan remembers, or choses to share with others though,
if last weeks new episode has anything to bear on this.

These time paradox things are quirky enough.  I'm glad they got a chance
to poke fun at it in ST 4.

cj "How do we know he *didn't* invent transparent Aluminum?" l
From: moroney@ramblr.enet.dec.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: oversampling (was Re: using green marker on CDs)
Date: 30 Sep 92 19:07:20 GMT
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation

In article <1992Sep30.115205.15739@infodev.cam.ac.uk>, rf@cl.cam.ac.uk (Robin Fairbairns) writes...
>In article <1992Sep29.213143.6551@rosevax.rosemount.com>,
>grante@aquarius.rosemount.com (Grant Edwards) writes:
>|> I've been asking people about this for some time and have yet to get a
>|> good description of what oversampling is.
> 
>Yeah - let's have someone who _knows_ posting here!

I haven't said anything since I don't *know* for sure how oversampling works,
but I *believe* it works as follows:  Instead of feeding the bitstream directly
to the D/A converter, for N times oversampling N-1 digital 0s are inserted
between each data value and the clock frequency is multiplied by N.  So for
4 times oversampling instead of the stream 123,177,197,144, ... you get
123,0,0,0,177,0,0,0,197,0,0,0,144,... which, after filtering produces the same
analog output but makes the filters easier to design as someone mentioned
earlier. 

-Mike
From: naran@fraser.sfu.ca (Travers Naran)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: Metal Foil and Fillings
Date: 26 Sep 92 18:06:15 GMT
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada

sch@getafix (Simon Hamner) writes:
>dmeiklej@gssec.bt.co.uk (David Meiklejohn) writes:
>> 
>> Why does metal foil coming into contact with your teeth cause pain?
>> 
>I think it's to do with the fact that the foil & filling are made from
>different metals (aluminium & mercury ?) and when they come in contact,
>along with the (acidic ? ) saliva in your mouth they generate an electrical
>current... yowch (yes I've done it as well).

>I can't remember the proper name for this process (too long since I did physics
>I guess).

It is called an ELECTRO-CHEMICAL reaction. Or also known as a "BATTERY
REACTION". In short, put tin foil on or near your mecury-amlagam fillings
creates a battery in your mouth. That battery passes a current through your
nerve endings, the most major nerves being the pain ones. Nerve cells can't
distinguish a normal input from electrical stimulation so off it goes to the
brain. :-)

I've actually put a voltmeter in my mouth and measured up to 1.5 volts being
generated in this reaction. 0.5v if I just used the test rods. 
NOTE KIDS! DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME! THIS IS FOR PROFESSIONAL IDIOTS, LIKE
MYSELF, ONLY!! :-)

-- 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Travers Naran						| "We fear
Mail address: naran@fraser.sfu.ca or naran@sfu.ca       |  change. WHACK!
Simon Fraser University, British Columbia, Canada	| WHACK! WHACK!"
Cmpt. Science student wanna-be				| -Garth 
Trekker, Leaper, Red Dwarf'er, Prober, etc.		|  "Wayne's World"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science,alt.folklore.urban
From: styri@hal.nta.no (YuNoHoo)
Subject: Re: "Normal" body temperature
Reply-To: styri@nta.no
Organization: Bohemians and Globetrotters, Unlimited
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 10:05:09 GMT

In article <92269.163845APPMS@CUNYVM.BITNET>, Alexandre Pechtchanski writes:
>
> In Russia (x-USSR) 36.6 C was considered normal;  it was customarily
> measured under the amprit (I always considered references to anal
> or oral measurements as funny -- until I get here)

Well, 36.6 C + 0.5 C gives something close to the anal 37 C.
What I still cannot get straight is Russian humour...

---
YuNoHoo  "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"
From: johnr@ee.uts.edu.au (John Reekie)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: using green marker on CDs
Date: 1 Oct 92 17:04:16 GMT
Organization: University of Technology, Sydney
NNTP-Posting-Host: schutz.ee.uts.edu.au

jlpicard@austin.ibm.com (Craig Becker) writes:


>russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>...
>> This is probably a bad time to bring up monster cables, then...

>Well, maybe so, but on a related topic: I've seen some high-end
>(read: big $$$) audio equipment that uses fiber optic cables for
>routing the audio signal from, say, the CD player to the amplifier.
>Is this really worth it?


Only if the wiring inside the CD player and amp uses silver
wire from jet fighter planes.

But seriously, to get zero degradation between the CD and
amp, all that's required is a direct digital connection. Then it't
makes no difference what kind of wire is used. Fiber-optics
at these data rates and distances is pure BSV.


johnr

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
From: rf@cl.cam.ac.uk (Robin Fairbairns)
Subject: ENOUGH ALREADY (was Re: Phony SCIFI on TV and in Movies)
Reply-To: rf@cl.cam.ac.uk (Robin Fairbairns)
Organization: U of Cambridge, England
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 14:33:34 GMT


In article <1992Sep26.002843.18171@cs.yale.edu>,
rescorla@rtnmr.chem.yale.edu (Eric Rescorla) writes yet more stuff on
Star Trek.  Which was at one stage all very well in response to a post
about phony science ... but it's now degenerated to a slanging match
between people who know about star trek (which I've never seen, so
that I'm of course biased).

Surely there are whole groups for such slanging matches.  Can't the
authors of this stuff transmigrate their souls, or something?
--
Robin (dump Brian Kay) Fairbairns                    rf@cl.cam.ac.uk
U of Cambridge Computer Lab, Pembroke St, Cambridge  CB2 3QG, UK
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
From: ketil@svale.ii.uib.no (Ketil M. Malde)
Subject: Re: Phony SCIFI on TV and in Movies
Reply-To: ketil@ii.uib.no
Organization: student of computer science at the University of Bergen, Norway
	<Bus4K2.6Ln@news.cso.uiuc.edu>
Date: 27 Sep 92 21:39:43

In article <Bus4K2.6Ln@news.cso.uiuc.edu> tjz20735@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Tom Zych) writes:

   >>		transparent to known electromagnetic radiation, particle beams
   >>		etc. However, if my ship is totally transparent, there is no
   >>		way I can sense the outside universe. (Photons have to be ab-
   >>		sorbed by the eye and deposit energy to be detected.)

   >The concept works on bending light/etc arround the object, not
   making it >transparent.  On that note you should be able to take
   the energy being shunted >arround the object and determine
   what/where it originated form.

Hmm, but even if the light and all that, travels areound you instead
of through, you'd STILL not be able to catch any of it, now wouldya?  

   Of course, bending light around an object requires a gravitational
   lens, which means that those little Birds-of-Prey must be carrying
   around a small neutron star or something to get the required mass
   for this to happen.  The problem, of course, is how do they turn it
   off....

I suppose you'd be able to do it in some other way....otherwise, you'd
be found because of your mass (Ever hear about Ixian graviton
detectors?)  how about some fancy holography-ish technique?




--
 = Ketil Malde                     In real life:  ketil@ii.uib.no =
 = Nuke the whales!                    Honk if you love unicorns! =
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
From: carl@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Carl J Lydick)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: Metal Foil and Fillings
Date: 26 Sep 92 20:23:58 GMT
Reply-To: carl@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol1.gps.caltech.edu

In article <Bv5oKy.85y@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, cad28526@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Chuck Douglas) writes:
>sch@getafix (Simon Hamner) writes:
>
>>dmeiklej@gssec.bt.co.uk (David Meiklejohn) writes:
>>> 
>>> Why does metal foil coming into contact with your teeth cause pain?
>>> 
>
>>I think it's to do with the fact that the foil & filling are made from
>>different metals (aluminium & mercury ?) and when they come in contact,
>			       ^^^^^^^
>I don't know what the metal is for sure but mercury it definately is NOT.
>Other than the fact that mercury is liquid at room temp, it is also toxic.
>You aren't even supposed to touch it becasue it will absorb into the skin
>and do nasty things.

Bzzzt.  Thanks for playing, though.  Amalgam (the stuff from which they usually
make fillings) is an alloy of mercury and another metal (usually silver). 
Depending on how much mercury's in the amalgam, it may be either solid or
liquid at room (or body) temperature.  Of course, if it's liquid, that allows
the mercury to evaporate, so it eventually ends up as a solid.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carl J Lydick | INTERnet: CARL@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU | NSI/HEPnet: SOL1::CARL

Disclaimer:  Hey, I understand VAXen and VMS.  That's what I get paid for.  My
understanding of astronomy is purely at the amateur level (or below).  So
unless what I'm saying is directly related to VAX/VMS, don't hold me or my
organization responsible for it.  If it IS related to VAX/VMS, you can try to
hold me responsible for it, but my organization had nothing to do with it.
From: dogbowl@dogbox.acme.gen.nz (dogbowl)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: using green marker on CDs
Summary: why use monster cable?
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 92 13:21:34 Y
Organization: The Dawghaus BBS, Palmerston North, New Zealand (+64 6 357 9245)

lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:

> I will:
> 
> Monster cables are good quality extra-large diameter copper cables.  Various
> claims have been made about these cables that are pure bullshit, because they
> are barely measureable effects and are orders of magnitude beyond any 
> reasonable need to care.  This includes such as the capacative loading, which
> is insignificent at audio frequencies, and also inductive effects.  These
> people are elevating audio cables into the rf spectrum.  I'm surprised they
> aren't silver-plating them and claiming that's even better because of
> skin effect :-).

Hear, hear. It's quite frightening to read some of the claims being made
for these esoteric cables. The words "SNAKE OIL" spring to mind.


> In any case, the one justification for them is if ohmic drop matters to
> your system.  Most speaker runs are short.  Just use heavy-duty zip cord and
> you're done.  If the run is particularly long, then use monster cable.  This
               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Why bother using monster cable, when ordinary Heavy duty conduit cables
can be obtained with *greater* cross sectional area, at significantly
lower costs ( 1/4 or less ) from an elctrical wholesaler. Simply buy a
roll of 6mm^2 twin cable....

Of course, if you need flexibility, consider buying arc welding
cable....This is precisely what is used in some installations.
( Ones with 1000W amps - yes, I have friends with this sort of system)

> [bits deleted]


> cj "use monster cable as car battery cable" l


AB " I use car battery cable for my speaker leads "


dogbowl at The Dawghaus BBS, Palmerston North, New Zealand (+64 6 357 9245)
dogbowl@dogbox.acme.gen.nz

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
From: csuah@warwick.ac.uk (~WISP at CU~)
Subject: Re: Metal Foil and Fillings
Organization: Computing Services, Warwick University, UK
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 12:05:13 GMT

In article <Bv5oKy.85y@news.cso.uiuc.edu> cad28526@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Chuck Douglas) writes:
>sch@getafix (Simon Hamner) writes:
>
>>dmeiklej@gssec.bt.co.uk (David Meiklejohn) writes:
>>>
>>> Why does metal foil coming into contact with your teeth cause pain?
>>>
>
>>I think it's to do with the fact that the foil & filling are made from
>>different metals (aluminium & mercury ?) and when they come in contact,
>			       ^^^^^^^
>I don't know what the metal is for sure but mercury it definately is NOT.
>Other than the fact that mercury is liquid at room temp, it is also toxic.
>You aren't even supposed to touch it becasue it will absorb into the skin
>and do nasty things.
>

It is, actually: a mercury-zinc amalgam. It's the zinc bit that causes the
current with the aluminium foil (I think), basically you make a voltaic
cell in your mouth with the zinc, Al and the acid crud that bacteria cause...
(saliva is actually alkaline: pH ~7.5-6).

The Wisp.
-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
     Chris Williams <csuah@uk.ac.warwick.csv> aka <csuah@csv.warwick.ac.uk>
"Tony Greig in the slips, legs apart, waiting for a tickle"
                                      Brian Johnson (thanks to A. Simha 8^>)
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science
Subject: Re: using green marker on CDs
Date: 28 Sep 92 06:42:46 GMT
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University

In article <19l1soINN51e@gap.caltech.edu> carl@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:
>In article <Buxqw6.I7A@gabriel.keele.ac.uk>, csa09@seq1.keele.ac.uk (Paul Singleton) writes:
>>The flaw in the objectivist approach is that subjective sound quality is
>>ultimately what we seek to maximise: it is ingenuous to dismiss the pens
>>as a 'placebo' if they genuinely increase perceived quality.  In our
>>presumed dedication to objective means, let's not forget the subjective
>>ends.  
>
>And the above paragraph is pure bullshit.  Please look up a decent definition
>of the placebo effect.  It's not an imaginary effect.  It's real.  The green
>pen effect is the most clear-cut example of a placebo I've ever heard of.

Absolutely.  A placebo effect to make the user have self-induced fulfillment
of expectations caused by a bullshit claim of a bullshit product has no place
in a supposedly "scientific" endeavor such as a discussion of high-fidelity
technology as opposed to the bullshit of high-fidelity marketing.  This is
not to go too far the other way and claim that everything is subjective, as
was almost erroneously done a few months ago regarding tubes versus transistors
which I admit has a surface analogy to this problem.  But let's not lump
nonsense like green markers on CD's with the marginal non-cost-effective but
real and measurable effects of tubes.  In all probability any benefit gained
was merely because the user cleaned the disk before playing with the pens.

In any case, it's a well-known fact that hi-fi marketroids manipulate their
audience in many related ways.  People estimate the "quality" of the
sound-reproduction capability of their equipment by the way it looks, and
often they don't even realize it.  I have met many people over the years
willing to subjectively claim that home-made equipment was inferior to
certain commercially-made equipment that was technically inferior, but
obviously looked better.

Softly indirectly green-lit panels and nice-feel mechanical construction
and/or "macho" rack-mount construction per se contribute zilch to the
ability to be an amplifier, yet there is a whole class of high-end hi-fi
merely dedicated to who makes a better anodized aluminum front panel.  This
is not to say that there isn't garbage poorly made as well, just that overall
"look" has little to do with sound.  And an amplifier with zillions of
readouts and LED's on it won't sound any better for it either.  When you
factor in the cost of advertising, salesmen, and the non-amplifying mechanical
and unrelated electronics cost of much of this equipment, is there any real
budget left for the basics of the device's basic purpose?

cjl
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.science