HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil (Kent Paul Dolan)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: family hues
Date: 9 Oct 92 17:17:45 GMT

Gooley asks why nobody is talking about 'family hues'.

I think it is because some folks are just too sensitive on the issue.

I happened to mention John Wood's wife adjacent to the term "plaid" a
_very_ few hundred times in passing here in t.b, and she totally
unjustifiably killifish-filed me, in response.

_She_ was the one who first mentioned her interesting skin color
variations.

No, hues are not a safe subject. Stick to drugs, religion, politics,
and self-indulgently buying yuppie toys while innocent children die
starving by the tens of thousands in Somalia, and you can't go wrong.

Kent, the man from xanth.
"The Birthright of humankind is the stars!"
--
Ignore the header, and don't expect me to see a news reply.  We don't get news.
Use email to: <dolan@nrlmry.navy.mil> or <dolan@192.138.87.240>
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: How long has it been?
Date: 12 Oct 92 13:36:30 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <3mLisB2w165w@bluemoon.rn.com>, shc@bluemoon.rn.com (n shane chambers) writes:
> 
> by the way, I need some advice from all on here.  I just recently got out 
> of a horrid relationship, that lasted for about two years. ( I found out 
> that most of what I knew abot her wa a lie!)  For someone like me, what do 
> you`all suggest i do to find females of my age group (18-22), that share 
> my same interests, and may possible become involved with?
> 
> 
>                 shc

Learn to speak English.  Generally women like men whose conversation they
have a chance of understanding. But then again ...

Jason
From: milliken@athena.cs.uga.edu (Brewmeister)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Frightening Halloween ideas wanted
Date: 8 Oct 92 03:06:16 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test
Organization: None o' yer business!

In article <BvrB7L.14n@tegra.com> vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail) writes:
>
>hell is a small room
>with two dingy but comfy armchairs
>and no windows and that's why I had to kill them all.

IN BED

>
>that was not haiku.
>do not bother to count the
>syllables and that's why I had to kill them all.

IN BED

>
>your visitors are strangers and that's why I had to kill them all.
>people you do not know, have never met,
>and would probably not like if you had and that's why I had to kill them all.

IN BED

>
>sit in one chair
>and sit the visitor in the other and that's why I had to kill them all.
>stare at him for an hour and that's why I had to kill them all.

IN BED


-- 
Copy this .sig and just say noe to big-brother's monitoring of public bandwidth
*Bush Quayle conspiracy JFK cocaine LSD heroin marijuana AK-47 Iran Iraq Libya*
*Sandinista Contras Panama Noriega FBI CIA NSA Secret Service fixed-elections *
*Neil Bush S&L coverup potatoe wiretaps search & seizure bill of rights dead  *
From: bard%cutter@ICARUS.SSD.LORAL.COM (J H Woodyatt)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: My Usenet access is down...
Date: 15 Oct 92 18:43:44 GMT

...for an indefinite period.

--
J H Woodyatt (a.k.a. Dr. Strychnine)
Space Systems/Loral

``Men who have no time to read should devote their time to reading
books of quotations.''
                                              -- Winston Churchill
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,ucla.rumor
Subject: What's in my closet
Date: 11 Oct 92 04:03:22 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <6566@ac13.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>Somewhere between 500 and 600 loose rounds of 9MM ammo rolling around.
>
>rp -- you ought to hear it back there when I take a tight corner.

Robotech Alpha Fighter model,
2 Toy 9mm guns
1 Real 9mm Taurus
16-32 rounds of deformable semijacketed hollowpoints
200-300 rounds of good 9mm ammo
200-300 rounds of cheap chinese 9mm ammo (sale at turners, what can I say)
1 Milk jar of God knows how old powder mixed by my stepmom's exhusband.
1 3 year old carton of wollite substitute
6 Glaser safety slugs. (loaded in the taurus)


(and that's just the top shelf)

-- 
I hate the 3B2
The 3B2 can bite me.
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Dumb asshole of the week (Re: Constitutional Questions, and liberalisms....)
Keywords: DUH AGAIN.
Date: 16 Oct 92 18:58:46 GMT
Followup-To: rec.crafts.textiles,talk.bizarre
Organization: University of Virginia

In misc.test and talk.bizarre,
mikepb@lupus.dell.com (Michael P. Brininstool) spews non-bizarre political
shit:

>Typical liberal trash.  Espousing a statement about the horrible economy,
>or the crisis with handguns, and failing to back it up with ANY facts!
>Notice how this person goes non-sensical when someone asks for data supporting

notice how this asshole posts into misc.test when discussing politics.

you win!


--
Rob Dobson              University of Virginia Music Library
"Anything that starts with Ellington ends with an assassination attempt
on the Fuhrer!" --SS-Sturmbannfuhrer Hans Reinhardt, July 1944
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ecr2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Corp. Reed)
Subject: Alarm Clock Death (was: re: Ritual Memory)
Reply-To: ecr2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: not with that duck, you don't
X-Scottish-King:  Maelcum II
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 05:17:10 GMT

In article <1992Oct02.184243.20607@microsoft.com> benth@microsoft.com (Ben) writes:
>mattb@ctron.com (Matt Brown) writes
>>>When I was a freshmman in college, the trusty alarm clock that had served
>me so well during my high school years suddenly stopped working.  
>>...
>>So I dug a grave and buried it.
>
>Same thing happened to me, only I winged it out my third floor dorm
>window. (bonus points for anyone who knows why). I visited a few years
>later, and found fragments still there...
>
>BENth
>
>
As I look back over my time in college...

THE FATES OF THE ALARM CLOCK.

My first alarm clock lasted about three months.  One day the damn
thing went off, and I lashed out with my hand and broke it.

I thought I had learned with my second.  I put it about four feet from
my bed.  Then one day the damn thing went off and I jerked it by the
cord and slammed it against the wall, destroying it.

Eventually, I trained by Macintosh to play the theme to STTNG
backwards at full volume every morning at seven.  This worked fine,
until I began to receive death threats from my roommate.

Three other alarm clocks have perished since then.  One other one was
destroyed physically, one drowned, and another just suddenly stopped
working. 

No moral to this story; no albatross to rediscover...

-Rw
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: other things I hate
Date: 8 Oct 92 18:30:31 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
NNTP-Posting-Host: eno.wpd.sgi.com

---
Did I mention that I hate helvetica?
This is why it's so important to change
the font resource.
---
c j silverio
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Frightening Halloween ideas wanted
Date: 7 Oct 92 15:25:13 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


In article <1992Oct6.172854.6162@news.ysu.edu> ag349@yfn.ysu.edu (David
S.  McMeans) writes:


#  I've been assigned to oversee a 'room' in a community haunted house this
#  year, and I want to make it very frightening. 

Empty the room completely except for: desk, chair, hatstand, terminal.
Place coat and hat on hatstand.
Turn on terminal and have it display work in progress of some kind.
Paint "R. CARASSO" on door of room.
Place sign saying "R. CARASSO" on desk.
Place Post-It Note [tm] saying "Back on five minutes" on screen of terminal.
Show victims into room and tell them you'll be back to collect them in
ten minutes. 

-- Ken "terrifying prospect" Johnson

-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Frightening t.b Halloween ideas asked for and received
Date: 7 Oct 92 22:35:10 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <1992Oct7.011607.4978@asuvax.eas.asu.edu> ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes:
>ag349@yfn.ysu.edu (David S. McMeans) writes:


I'm pissed, I wasn't even mentioned
-- 
I hate the 3B2
The 3B2 can bite me.
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Koschei the Deathless)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: A friend of mine said I should post this here
Date: 9 Oct 1992 07:39:51 GMT
Organization: The International House of Secretions
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4

In article <9210072227.25@rmkhome.UUCP> rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly) writes:
*Was it kent or lippert who gave the smurfette vaginal warts?

Must've been Kent.  I don't do Smurfs.


Mark "Elves now, there's another story" Lippert 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: Re: Garuda in my nostril hairs, yum yum yum
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 02:48:59 GMT

In article <1992Oct9.164047.5411@netcom.com> gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) writes:
>Boiled telephony for lunch again.  I swam down the cable and into the
>operators nose-set and into her brain and ate parts of her temporal lobe.
>Then back to the gym to be Jane Fonda's armpit sweat, a towel made of lithium,
>Yom Kippur, and a pice of used green bubble gum stuck under a schoolteacher's
>wig.  A trip home in a mailing tube carried by a land octopus in a pith
>helmet, and I was ready to be grated, sprinkled over boiled cardboard, and
>served to actresses disguised as little boys in a TV commercial for a new
>product, KillKidKit, to be used by housewives to rid their husbands of
>annoying bratty children up the rectum.
>
>But you silly manure-toasting rubber gazelles, you!  Nosing in the boiling
>dirt with your liquid-nitrogen antlers, you socialistic concepts, you
>gutta-percha dildo racks in the catacombs of New Orleans!  Jism milkshakes
>fed to unsuspecting three-headed schoolchildren from Dahomey that you are,
>how can you taste such orgiastic transparent trout as fly in the face of
>CNN's Vladimir Voss (tm), as start teal-colored Aston-Martin turnips on
>the bonny banks of the Shalimar perfume counter at Polyesterworth's narcotics
>store in Galveston, you barm?  Eh, you unholy Tongan carbuncles in my
>dyspeptic carbaunt's carbnecklace?
>
>The width has come for traction!  Free your bladders and bowels of continence,
>lemon-scented vials of cyanoacrylate glue belonging to drunken Belarusan
>pheasants who own gateaux along the Nashuan Riviera, and revolt against your
>own revolting nature girl image in the spit-shined black kangaroo-leather
>boots of Domenico Ferrari's psychotic great-aunt!  Be jet-black killer king
>crabs, tearing down the walls of Dead Mobster cafeterias and eating the smell
>of the obese women in the discount surgical goods parlor across the monorail
>tracks and the ocean of time!  It is not up to you, but to the cute little
>mass-murdering dill pickle wedged between a nineteen-tonne regular octahedron
>of solid chemically-pure tin and the last Spode (tm) bone china Frisbee (tm)
>that the world will ever need to empathize with, so get out there and be sure
>to disembowel one for the Grommet, yea the giant grommet of Buna-S built by
>Goering's pet catamount to divert vital supplies from the South American
>campaign and shorten the war by six point three parking meters!
>
>Hail and Severe Thunderstorms Likely!
>
>Mark.
>gooley@netcom.com
From: grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re:  my mission
Distribution: world
Date: 13 Oct 92 00:37:20 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <1992Oct12.064224.1294@news.Hawaii.Edu> rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (80 Hours) writes:
>jon@zeus.med.utah.edu (Jonathan Byrd) writes:
>>sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA) writes:
>
(a whole bunch of stuff deleted I would have wanted to see on film)

>I absolutely shit you not.  I know I am a compulsive liar, but this one is 
>entirely 100% true, so help me God and Scout's Honor, may I die a thousand
>deaths on the Altar of t.b.

Rigler, I don't care if you're lying. What is important to me is that
every "day after" drunk story I hear be accompanied by the colorful
metaphors of how bad the person hurt. 
The story can be a big, fat, hairy, whory, lie of how in a tequila 
haze you married your Mom. 
I don't care.
There must be the pain.

How the person lay in a pile of their own puke, knew it was their
own vomitus and could not convince themselves to move because
of the mind numbing, scrotum shrinking, eyeball tearing pain.

How the very wind blowing across their flesh, mussing their hair
made them weep like a baby denied their mama's tit.

How the extreme dehydration from alcohol posioning shrank their muscles
so much they had to be physically, pulled out of their fetal posions 
                       ^^^^^^^^^^
so that the life saving I.V.'s could be injected.

That's all I want.
Nothing much, really.

--
"So I'm minding my own business...no, really. | ...uunet!canetoad!grendel
 And I see him, the HIM in big impressive     | canetoad!grendel@uunet.uu.net
 letters. And he owns me, I mean the way      |
 pigeons own N.Y...damn I'm had again."       |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: 880840m@ace.acadiau.ca (MICHAEL ALEXANDER MCKAY)
Subject: Re: Six
Organization: Acadia University
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 14:11:30 GMT

In article <1b8rgtINNk1d@terminator.rs.itd.umich.edu> ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano) writes:

>Yes, six.
>
>
>AjD
>the first person who can identify exactly what
>i mean at this ridiculous time of the morning
>wins an indeterminate prize.

Oh, that is so, so obvious. Stop boasting about degenerate personal 
statistics like that on a "family" network.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Oh well
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 17:55:17 GMT

I have accepted sanity into my life, but it seems to want nothing to do
with me. o well, ill have to go on being crazy and viciously insulting
friends and enemies alike for no reason.
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Koschei the Deathless)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Still single
Date: 10 Oct 1992 08:02:25 GMT
Organization: The International House of Secretions
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4


Last night I had a dream that I was having a torrid love affair with
Bridget Fonda.

Unforunatly, all we did in the dream was kiss.


Mark "Sweet but pathetic" Lippert
From: mattb@ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The wages of advertising are death
Date: 6 Oct 92 15:31:39 GMT
Reply-To: mattb@olympus.ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

(Laurence Doering) writes:

>[Left column, next to a photo of a smarmily sweet child doll with
> his pants around his ankles]

>   "An adorable new porcelain doll
> by Elke Hutchens capturing
> a special moment in the life
> of a little boy.

>   "There's nothing more appealing than a young
> child trying to be grown up.  Sometimes it takes
> every ounce of determination a little tyke can mus-
> ter... but it's worth every bit of the effort just to see
> Mommy and Daddy so proud.

>    "Now, one of America's most highly regarded doll
> artists, revered for her ability to portray the emo-
> tions of young children, shows us 'growing up' like
> no other artist can.  _Brian_, by Elke Hutchins, cap-
> tures the earnest concentration of a small boy 
> trying so hard to be grown up -- and realizing that
> it's not so scary after all!

>     "_Exceptional personality and realism._
>    "The minute you see _Brian's_ winsome face and the
> wishful expression in his big blue eyes, you'll rec-
> ognize Elle Hutchins' magical ability to evoke the
> innocence and sweetness of young children.  Just
> look at the way he's sitting, with his little mouth set
> and his chin cupped in his hands.


You know, up until this point, I thought the little feller
was learning to beat his meat.

Read it again, and imagine Gooley had written it.

Wonder if we could commission the artist to do a talk.bizarre
version?


     "_Exceptional personality and realism._
 "The minute you see _(your favorite tb personality)'s_ winsome face and the
 wishful expression in his big blue eyes, you'll rec-
 ognize Elle Hutchins' magical ability to evoke the
 innocence and sweetness of young children.  Just
 look at the way he's sitting, with his little mouth set
 and his little peeper cupped in his hands.


Matt
Admit it guys, wasn't it a special moment?
And didn't it make Mommy and Daddy so proud?
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: SSC
Date: 7 Oct 92 22:31:05 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <6519@ac13.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>
>  I just scanned through several hundred articles in rec.food.cooking
>for the pattern /cabbage/.

I just scanned through several hundred articles in alt.abortion for the pattern
/cabbage/.


-- 
I hate the 3B2
The 3B2 can bite me.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST)
Subject: Re: AI and Macintosh Experiences
Organization: Soviet Socialist Society, Incorp.
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 17:21:42 GMT

IN COMP.AI spratt@hawk.cs.ukans.edu (Lindsey Spratt) writes:
)
)I use LPA MacProlog on an old Mac II with a mere 8megs memory, and
)this is generally satisfactory for the academic AI programming I do.

Yep, with 8meg, you should just about be able to squeeze in a game of
tic-tac-toe.


AI Programmers --you gotta love 'em.


...carasso

-- 

IVAN IQTOVITCH,		"WORKERS UNITE  OVER IMPERIALIST PIG"
COMMUNIST PARTY,		--IVATOLI STEPHANIVIC,
MUSMAK DEVISION			  BRAVE MARTAR
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: reading cj's posts
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 00:41:12 GMT

In <1bce6iINNavj@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>---
>jon@zeus.med.utah.edu (Jonathan Byrd) writes:
>|you two are gonna make me puke.

>Go ahead and puke.  Why should I care?

Just remember to FILM it.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box)
Subject: lambda phage dna
Followup-To: alt.*
Summary: peace and love and joyful disgust
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Keywords: losers and winners enjoying company
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 01:54:37 GMT

it is important to remember the ratio of shit to good stuff when digesting
lambda dna. the insert i would like is about 2800 bp max when not allowing
for concatenated inserts due to cloning errors. lambda is about 48,000 bp.
thus, the actual amount of good stuff to shit is about 5.83%. this makes
it very difficult to see the insert on an ethidium br stained gel if an
insufficient amount of dna is used in the digestion. i failed to realize
this and wrongly thought my phage dna was just too dirty to cut. i was
wrong and now i will be forced to club myself like a harp seal. duh. 
	also, one of the new grad students here is fomr montreal and went
to concordia, the place where that psycho russian prof shot up a buch of
people. he says he knew one of the guys who took a bullet in the gut. i
thought that was pretty nifty. if you don't then fuck off already. ciao etc. 
--
	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
               "i am such a stupid,ignorant son of a bitch.
                           please kill me now."
               me, last month when i had a cc.utah.edu acct.
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: reading cj's posts
Date: 12 Oct 1992 17:57:52 GMT
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
NNTP-Posting-Host: eno.wpd.sgi.com

---
jon@zeus.med.utah.edu (Jonathan Byrd) writes:
|you two are gonna make me puke.

You'll sure power-chunk when the Drug Warriors 
confiscate your car, revoke your student loans, 
and send you to boot camp.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: What wonderful responses (was Re: Tsk, tsk class)
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 17:16:31 GMT

In article <1992Oct15.191239.23425@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box) writes:
|In article <24378@sybase.sybase.com> chrisl@sancho.sybase.com (Xian the Drive) writes:
|>In article <1992Oct5.143410.3393@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil>, rdc30@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Code-03 LCDR Michael E. Dobson) writes:
|>		{deeee-leted}

|>|> Mike "and I thought you guys at least would get the joke" Dobson

|>OH YES THAT IS VERY LOGICAL MISTER `RDC30'<---!!!

|	this guy seems a bit paranoid. i think you should get some help.
|also, don't look for it here please. 

Don't worry, X Industries should be able to solve the problem. They're 
always looking for test specimens.


-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"...I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down, then I
thought 'One of us is in real trouble'." Davey Allison, re: a 150MPH crash 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 13:32:10 GMT

In article <gj156879.718514082@cunews> gj156879@prince.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879) writes:
>My fiance' says she saw japanese tourists down in the market filming
>each other holding corncobs.

VIDEOTAPING!  NOT FILMING!
 
>That's what handicams are for: filming your friend Moto holding a
>corncob.  What the hell do these people do with the footage?

Film is thick and has little sprocket holes on the edge.  Videotape is very
different than film.  Do not get the two confused.  One of these days I am
going to go on a rampage and start shooting people who say "filming" when
they are referring to videotape.
--scott
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: I have a problem.
Date: 16 Oct 92 05:03:31 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
NNTP-Posting-Host: eno.wpd.sgi.com

---
curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:
|I've been catching myself trying to solve Go problems in my sleep.

I see that X has infected a new victim.