From: sally@anableps.berkeley.edu (S. A. Wilson)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: DOOL: a spoiler
Date: 28 Sep 1992 17:43:21 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: anableps.berkeley.edu



Well this is a spoiler for sometime in November for Sweeps.

It is revealed that Asstin in fact does not play the piano, but
has been faking it all along. It seems as though he has carried
in a mini tape record of someone else playing. One day, one
day when Julie actually is working at Wings, which means that Susan
Hays ACTUALLY is on for a change and is not even looking for
Carbonzo Bean's missing stuff, catches him cheating and fires him.
Damn, no job, means no money to the buy the shirts that he does
not wear. In disgust he bangs both hands on the keys of the Pieano.
As if from poetic justice, the keycover crashes onto not one, but
both of his hands, crushing them. He squeals out in pain that
now he won't be able to fake playing the piano ever again.

He is rushed to University Hospital where who should be there to
operate on him--can you say CARLIPS, boys and girls; I knew you could.
Julie is there as thew wheel him to surgery she hears him moan to
the wonder dorktor that he never will be able to play again. Julie
mutters to herself, that he never could to begin with.

After many gruling hours of surgery (which takes up only 2 mintues on
air--the rest of the show has to been spent showing Caribou's concern;
having Carlip's break-down over Asstin's enjuries to Lizard, etc. (major,
major oppurtunities for her great facial skills).

Anyway, the next day Asstin's hands are back to normal. Two days later
he  is sent home, and of course he goes home with sCarrie. But first she
has to stop by the mall, there is this cute outfit she just has to have,
and if she can't get it, she would just scream. So they go to the mall.
Meanwhile the principle pianoist for the Salem Philharmonic is doing
a special concert as promotion for the Salem Philharmonic's world tour.
But something horrible happens to him and since Carly is to busy preparing
for her and Butthead's wedding she was not there to operate and he dies.
But, anyway just as he is being carried away to the hospital Asstin and
Scarrie show up. Asstin starts to shutter as he passes the baby grand.
Though when Scarrie runs off to get her outfit, and no one else is paying
attention he starts tinkling (no not that) tinkling the keys of the piano.
BUT DAMN he is good. And we actually see his hands move, and they actually
coincide with the notes and music. Just then a very frantic Maggie, the
director of the Salem art council, hears and sees him. She calls the
orchestral conductor who has never heard such a talent. For it seems
that not only did the wonder doc save his hands but, like the old
joke, made him able to play too.  He takes over. After the concert
it is discovered the the pianoist is dead and the world tour begins tomorrow.
Well, they give Asstin the job. 

So Asstin goes off with the Philharmonic, and Scarrie becomes a Philharmonic
groupie. Anyway, his first concert is a fabulous success. A proud 
Scarrie watches for backstage. As he is taking his finally bow, he bows
a little to far back and bumps into the E(flat) kettledrum, knocking it
on its side. The drum starts rolling out of control--rolling towards
poor Scarrie. Nothing can be done to stop it; it rolls over, and instantly
kills her. Sigh.

Asstin freaks out and develops a chronic E(flat)Kettledrum phobia. He is
institutionalized and never scene again.


Spudnix--Sorry Bosie but I thought the Dukes of Hazard SUCKED bigtime--Peel


The UC Davis Aggies won't beat the crap out of Sac State this week.
The UC Davis Aggies won't beat the crap out of Sac State this week.



-- 
Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor! ###	Sally   A.  Wilson
[Ovid's _Metaphorposes_]		  ###   sally@mica.berkeley.edu
Vita non est vivere sed valere vita est.  ###   P.  Spud  Peel
[Martial]				  ###	[A member of Babble since 87]
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps