From: sher@umbc4.umbc.edu (Sherri Crain)
Subject: Re: Why I couldn't take AA & why I bother to complain about it
Organization: Univ. of MD, Baltimore County
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 21:06:08 GMT

In article <96741@bu.edu> ccmlh@buitc.bu.edu (Mark Hayes) writes:
>Folks,
>
>I've been reading through some of the recent discussion on AA vs. RR, 
>and I feel moved to make a few comments about my own rather 
>negative experiences with AA. 


>On the negative side, though, I had real problems with a number of 
>aspects of the way I saw things working, and it was obvious to me, 
>after attending a number of meetings of different groups, that they 
>had to do with very fundamental aspects of the way AA-type groups 
>did things, and that there was simply no way I could hope to fit in 
>and work out my problems in such a context.

Hi,Mark

  Thank you for sharing your experience with us! I know several people 
who have had similiar experiences and it helps them to know they are
not alone.  I was also glad to hear that you did not base your reaction
on *one* meeting,that you went to several different meetings.  It's
obvious to me that you were willing to try A.A. and that it just didn't
work out for you.  I hope that you've since found an alternative that
does work for you?

There were a few things that you stated that I don't agree with,which
I will comment on as well,but mainly I just wanted to let you know
that I appreciated your honestly in sharing *your* experience.

>Primarily, I couldn't take the constant, mechanical references to 
>God. I couldn't take the saying of the "Lord's Prayer" at closing time. 

The meetings in my area end the meeting with the Lord's Prayer as well
and I've never quite understood why?  It would seem to imply some
sort of affiliation to an organized religion,but none-the-less,I don't
let it bother me.  I just choose not to participate in that aspect of
the meeting.

>People talked of praying to their 
>higher power, of asking him/it for help, of "turning it over" to the 
>higher power. I don't care what semantic games you play, this is 
>religion, and it was at the very heart of AA, in a highly formalized 
>and rigidly integrated way.

Just because there are a lot of people in AA who subscribe to similiar
beliefs when it applies to God/Higher Power,what ever you choose to call
it,does *not* mean that AA = religion.  The main difference I find in
the spiritual beliefs of AA and religion is CHOICE.  I grew up in a family
where I was forced to attend church every Sunday and I *never* heard the
priest mention anything about the option to CHOOSE a God of my own
understanding.  It was...Christ is the way,that's it.  Any other option
meant eternal doom.

Still,I have to mention that many people in the program think that
spirituality = a belief in a Higer Power.  I don't agree with that.
I happen to live with an Atheist who lives one of the most spiritual
lives of anyone I know.  It's my opinion that what you believe in or
believe in general has little to do with whether or not you are living
a spiritual life.  Actions speak louder than words,as they say.  I know
far too many church goers who walk out of that church and live the opposite
of what they were just listening to to think that religion or a belief
of any sort = spirituality.

I'm not trying to knock religion.  I also know religious types who live
by very spiritual principles.  My point is that AA beliefs do not necessarily
mean religion,as religion does not necessarily imply spirituality.


>I also objected to the idea that I am "powerless" without some 
>"higher power".

Step one: We admitted we were powerless over *alcohol* and that
our lives had become unmanageable.  

Where exactly does it state that you are powerless without a "higer power?"

>In any case, it 
>would appear that alternative organizations *are* being formed 
>now, and this is great. I just hope that AA people don't actively 
>discourage people from taking these other approaches on the grounds 
>that they are thereby maintaining some sort of state of denial.
  
There are many people in AA,as well as other groups,that feel that
their way is the *only* way.  So what?  I see that as a problem for
them,not me.  I wouldn't want to live my life with such a closed mind.
That would mean I have less options in life and I prefer to keep as 
many options available to myself as possible.  "Screw 'em if they
can't take a joke."  That's my philosophy.

Thanks again for sharing,Mark. 


-- 

     Lack of planning on your part                 -sher   
doesn't justify an emergency on my part     sher@umbc3.umbc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.recovery