From: c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au (Chris Baird)
Subject: Re(sults): Hair!
Summary: The outcome of the ``Should Lisa have longer hair?'' survey,,
Keywords: long gleaming waxen flaxen blonde
Organization: Jake's Unisex Hair Palace
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1992 12:14:43 GMT


==========================================================================
 The results from the ``Should Lisa be adorned with longer hair?'' survey
==========================================================================
[Maestro, The 20th Century Fox fanfare if you please]

  The Question:  Would it improve Lisa's appearance substantially
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  if she were to adorn a tress?

        Agree:      3
        Disagree:   8    (ouch, including a few flames)
        Informal:   3    (those who gave an impartial opinion)


Many of the informal votes only mentioned the "After" picture made Lisa
look older, but gave no specific comment if it were a good or bad thing.
And no one remarked on my three Simpsons allusions in the last paragraph
which I went to so much trouble to squeeze in,, :~(


With the permission of the respondees, here is a compilation of some of
the comments I received,, (Anonymously to protect the guilty.)

  .. I like Lisa's hair as it is - more businesslike, less frivolous. 
     But I LOVE the idea of giving the Simpsons ASCII makeovers.
     Keep it up!
     PS - I especially like how she's smiling in the "after" picture. 

  .. Makes her look much older, maybe when she's in the 8th grade or so.

  .. Nay!

  .. I definitely agree; she'd look better with hair! :) 

  .. IMHO, this lovely tress makes Lisa look too much like Marge...
     A bit too adult, and she needs to stay a kid forever. 

  .. I'm really impressed with the job you did with Lisa's hair.
     Zowie!  Hot dog!  :-)

  .. I think that was one amazing ASCII art job!

  .. Your AFTER image makes Lisa look too grown up to be prodigious and
     too stylish to be a Simpson...and too cute to be a cartoon ;-) 
     What she could use is a good pair of spectacles.

  .. Go with the long hair.  But doesn't she now bear a resemblance to
     Faith Ford from Murphy Brown?

[and now for the really heavy ammunition,,]

  .. It is my opinion that Lisa does NOT need a new hairstyle.  I feel
     very strongly about this, and have several reasons.

     1) Lisa is, by any account, a practical girl.  She doesn't have her
        ears pierced, she doesn't wear makeup, and she doesn't wear her
        hair long or braided or anything complicated like that.  The only
        instance I can remember of any sort of hair-stying was in "Lisa's
        Substitute" where she wore a bow, to impress Mr Bergstrom.  Love
        can do that to people.

     3) Lisa's hair is yellow, as is her skin.  If her hair hung down over
        her shoulders, it would be mostly indistinguishable, and it would
        look like she had a hump on her back, or something.

     4) The Simpson's are static personalities, and never change in
        character or appearance.  To give Lisa long hair would violate
        this.  It would also be a plot development, which also never
        happens.

     I personally consider it blasphemy to think of changing the
     appearance of the best and most human character of the best cartoon
     in existence.  Lisa can not be improved by a change of physical
     appearance.

[Ouch --cjb]

Other Champions to the sanctity of Lisa "Dulcinea" Simpson's appearance
ought to hassle Frank Jacobs and Sam Viviano for their ``Weeza Simian''
that appeared in an issue of MAD a bit over a year ago.. (but IMO an
excellent article:)

-- Chris Baird,, <c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au>  ``I stand corrected.''

Newsgroups: alt.tv.simpsons