From: t60bss9@mp.cs.niu.edu (Bijoy Sagar)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.kerala
Subject: Ill-humor:-) Usenet in Indian villages
Date: 2 Jan 1993 12:21:19 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu


	It is to my understanding that most of the readers of this newsgroup are
avid admirers of the Usenet, living part of their lives in it, partaking in the 
wondersome adventures therein and contemplating suicide in the event of world
waking up to ban your access to it. We have our own equivalents of all the real
smut in the world, including "1-900" accounts and cyber-sex all, as a matter of 
fact, without he cost of a penny to your person.

	yet it saddens me that the Usenet is so limited in usage and so
insignificant to live a fringe existance in the real world of neo-literates
and Dan Quayles/Devilals. Here are my list of things Indian, the populace
can do if ever usenet becomes a part and parcel of Indian society as whole,
to keep themselves preoccupied with trivia using high technology.

Gossip

As such Indian villages have the best intellegence network in the world.
ramu ki Maa, referred to as 'that bitch" in her absence, is a wonderful
creation not even CIA could clone in her speed or ability to transmit news.
Now think of the possibilities Ramu ki Maa can have with Usenet in her hands!
Gone are those days when she had to content with such banal issues as " who
stle Seetha's fish" or " who is sleeping with Sugandhi's chachi's eldest daugh
ter whose father died during the Indo-pak war?". Now she could co-ordinate
all the smut of the entire Bihar and Uttar Pradesh combined and post them in
such newsgroup as alt.look.your.neighbours.bedroom. Gossip, thy glorious
days are yet to come.

Technology

In the technological field, India will take giant strides. kalia Sultan, the
local mafia don now happily controlling his domain ranging a full eiht and half 
square mils extending from Rumapur to the north to Bismaillahbad to the south
can  now think of using the technology to expand the empire. he can also safely
patition to the central government that they are violating his fundamental
rights by not making available to him, at subsidized rates ofcourse, the
latest Uzi or Kalshnikov which is his basic equipment for livelyhood. He will
definitely articulate this in news.talk.guns. 

Now with usenet Riots can be better planned. Think of the day when simultaneous
riots breaking up in your Mohalla in Hyderabad and mine in Bimapur!! We will
put LA to shame. If they had their walkie-talkies, we would have our computer.
better still, we would be able to think up a reason for the riots even BEFORE
they are over. Adversarani, Singkill and Sharabuddin can all debate and think
if your neighbourhood garbage pile should be demolished and if so, whether
to make it a national issue. With Usenet Sub-humanium Swamis can allege
all they want and Manlion Rao can say something and then delete that posting
after half hour. This way technology can be used to propagate Truth. Mustaffa
Ibrahim and deb "chatter"jee will be appointed as special advisors to the
parties who would want to specialize in calling each other by venerable names.

Love

There! lo and behold! After 3000 years the cast barrier will break! All
young minds will meet and will blossom on the romantic screens across
the nation. Ahirs and Gujjars and Chamars all will fall in love with
each other and everyone else in Rajasthan without the fear of getting
killed by Angry fathers who are computer illiterates. In the event of
a runaway marriage becoming a necessity, escape roots can be planned to
cities farther than the neighbouring Saskaria. And can be perfected with
playing the whole game in virtual reality in MUD. This will also enhance
the cultural co-operation between religions and regions.Bengali babu can
feed a keralite chechi with a virtual shondesh in reply to which chechi
can send virtual avial to his account. Shanmugavadivelu ayyangar can send
sambar to Atal atmahsingh Dowargaonwale in punjab. Muslims can post
in hindu newsgroups and hindua can do vice versa. For those who are 
unfortunate enough to be out of mainstream usenet access, matrimonial
newsgroups and mailing lists will do the needful. Consider some
names matr.kannada.lingayat.groom.chovva.fair or matr.bengali.kayastha.
kulin.dakshin.bride.wheatish! With such specialized names, there won't
be any chaos until some of us SCI veterans decide to call it a day here
and head back home. After that you will see postings such as " What does
Quran say about kannada lingaayats?" or 'Apology demanded from Bengali
Kayasths or their names will be sent to Maliceous Sadists' Act (MSA)!"

So, friends SCIens and other men of consequence, untie(not unite),
and let this marvel spread to Bharat ka kona kona! let us all flourish
and progress!

Jai Hindnet!

Bijoy