From: bruce@uxc.cso.uiuc.edu (Bruce Krueger)
Subject: Re: Ugly Rumor-mongerers
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 03:41:37 GMT

Kent Stewart <kstewart@td2cad.intel.com> writes:
>Sure we care about him. Sure we're addicted to the little rushes
>we get off of his superb musicianship. That gives us absolutely
>*no* phucking right to smear his name publicly on a casual, careless

>Think about your actions, people. They matter. Rumors are harmful
>to people. Real, feeling people, not cultural icons. And every damned
>rumor spreads just like this.

>We don't live in a vacuum. Careless actions can create chain-reactions
>of repercussions that end up hurting people we care about. If we
>*really* care, we take responsibility for what we do. If we *don't*
>really care, then we ain't worth one whole hell of a lot in my
>ever so humble opinion.
   *******
   ok, I agree with what you're saying, basically, and I appreciate your
   concern and respect for other peoples' reputation and right to privacy 
   even the right/ability to choose their own path in the world, make choices,
   live their own life...

   however (and I'm not trying to get on a soapbox by doing this -- that's 
   usually an invitation to become the target of multitudinous flames, not 
   to mention over-ripe fruit), consider:  what do you do with a friend, 
   or even a casual acquaintance (or, for that matter, a complete stranger)
   who's doing something which you know/believe to be dangerous/likely to
   have a negative effect on their future well-being?

   one extreme example:  do you (attempt to) stop someone who wants to put
   a gun to their head and pull the trigger?
   ...stop someone who's really depressed and drunk from going home and 
   downing half the contents of her medicine chest?
   ...take the keys from a friend who is so shit-faced on alcohol that he'd
   be a menace to himself and anyone else on the road, and whose judgement
   is so obliterated that he doesn't care?
   ...try to talk a friend who's on the down side of a roller-coaster rela-
   tionship that things'll pan out, rather than have him make a 'cry for help'
   in the form of a faux suicide attempt with a running car and a closed space?

   lest you think I'm merely playing a sophist, I'll tell you -- I've had 
   friends 'buy the ranch' via all the methods alluded to above (except the
   second one, who ended up aspirating vomit and spending the better part of
   the ensuing year in intensive care with a set of lungs that may have 10% of
   their original capacity left.   ...if she's lucky), and I didn't happen to
   be around when they went critical.  I don't know, maybe neither I nor anyone
   else could've done anything to improve the situation, but I guess I'm not
   that fatalistic.  so where's this leading?

   so what'd'ya do with someone you know who's doing smack (just a hypothe-
   tical proposition here, y'unnerstan'..)???

   is it easier to deal with afterwards if they use a needle instead of a gun?


   true, we each have to take responsibility for ourselves, yet sometimes we 
   each need a little help along the way.  I'm sure no one enjoys having their
   dirty laundry aired in public, and I'm not suggesting that rumormongers
   be encouraged, or even tolerated, but I think that there was more than
   mere curiousity in the original poster's message -- I read a fair amount 
   (I'll have to assume) genuine concern.  what do you do with concern for
   someone you admire and respect, but know only secondarily or tertiarily?
   try to find someone who *does* know them to help them?  encourage someone
   else to ask if they need a hand, if everything's ok?  I guess I don't
   have the answer, just a lot of questions, and a fair amount of concern...



   bruce



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