From: P5SY%UNB.CA@UNBMVS1.csd.unb.ca (P5SY000)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.islam
Subject: RE: Why Muslis are allowed to keep up to four wives at a time
Date: 21 Nov 92 21:52:22 GMT

[Moderator's note: This subject has been discussed on SRI with varying
amount of zeal at different time. Please keep your responses scholarly
and polite]

Polygamy

Polygamy is another safety valve which operates when necessity warrants.
According to the Islamic concept, it is meant to be a precautionary measure
against lust.
In fact, this subject should have been dealt with under the chapter
concerning "Peace in Society" as it is more pertinent to the society though it
has much to do with "Peace at Home". The individual, the household, the
society and all of mankind are inter-linked and interdependent according to
the Islamic concept.
There is a lot of misinformation about polygamy in Islam. People often
contend that polygamy can be a menace to the soundness of the society. And
how much control does polygamy, as authorized in Islam, require to
prevent its abuse?
Obviously, all aspects of social behavior require legislative intervention to
prevent abuse of rights, except tor polygamy as it is a social institution
which automatically regulates itself. It is a practice that does not exist unles
there is a necessity tor it.
Polygamy should be treated objectively. I cannot understand why
polygamy has been so avidly criticized in the public media unless one
construes such unfounded criticism as an attempt to undermine the validity
of this religion.  One must view polygamy as a valid and time honored social
institution.

Communities are composed of males and females. If the number of men,
who are fit and seeking marriage, is equal to the number of similarly fit and
willing women, then polygamy becomes practically impossible; for in this
case every man will not find but one available woman to marry. To have an
extra wife would mean that there is an extra female who has not got a man
to marry. This argument is valid whether the number of marriageable
women exceeds that of marriageable men or when the number of
marriageable women exceeds that of men who can afford to marry.

If the number of females seeking marriage exceeds that of the males, a
distortion results in the structure of the society and polygamy becomes
justified. The distortion occurs quite frequently where men are more
exposed to danger than women, as in case of wars. It may happen for
economic or social reasons as well whereby men are materially unable to get
married.
Let us, for example, examine the demographic problem which arose in
Germany after the Second World War. There was one marriageable man
(between 20 and 45) available for every three women of the same age
group. How would the legislator solve this problem, taking into account the
interests of men, women and society at the same time?
There are three alternatives:
1. Either each man gets married to one woman only, leaving the other
two women without men, children and homes all their lives, or
2. Each man gets married to one woman only, but frequents the other two
who would not enjoy a family life nor bear children. Even if they responded
to their feminine instinct and bore children, they would be committing a
crime as the children would be illegitimate. Mother and child would suffer
the stigma of immorality and illegitimacy and live under social ostracism.
3. Or, some men would get married to more than one woman; thus
allowing them the dignity of marriage, the security of the family and the
begetting of children without the taint of crime or the anxiety of sin.
Polygamy under such circumstances would spare the society the problems of
bastardy and the sexual offence of adultery. Society would also ha-e the
chance to correct the imbalance through the new births and thus restore the
balance as has been observed in periods following wars and epidemics.
Which of' these alternatives is more useful and beneficial to humanity?
These are the only alternatives and we have to choose one from among
them. The problem is to respond to this condition and find a practical
solution. It seems that in West Germany, where polygamy is prohibited
socially and religiously, people have sought an appropriate solution to this
problem and could not find anything better than the Islamic solution, though
they could not adopt it. It was the women there who asked for polygamy
and, strangely enough, not the men.

It may be said that women today can work and earn their living and thus do
not need men. This is belied by human nature. Women do need men as much as
men need women. A woman's need is not strictly confined to the need for
support nor to sexual desireQthough this desire cannot be replaced by material
well-being. In the depth of every woman's heart there is a yearning for a man.
It is the human need for fulfillment and propagation. Man's need for a woman
is the same, and it is this natural mutual need which constitutes the foundation
of "marriage" among all bisexual beings. This simple fact refutes the myth
propounded by the materialists who allege that a woman's feeling to have a
man is due to her desire for support.The man, generally speaking, is not
economically dependent on the woman, yet he enjoys his accomplishments the
most when he is beside the woman he loves. Once he chooses his "second half",
he feels fulfilled. It is the Supreme Will that put this need in the hearts of b
sexes in order to procreate life and to urge them towards constructive
development.
Thus, as long as there are such circumstances that cause imbalance in the
numbers of the sexes the most noble and effective remedy is to legislate in such
a manner that the imbalance is corrected and social proprieties are not
offended.
One should ask those who do not heed the simple facts of life if they have
ever come across a young man who could not find a girl to marry because a
greedy or lustful or rich man has married that one wife. There are certainly
some cases where polygamy is the result of desire or sudden wealth or carnal
lewdness and nothing else. But let me ask if the polygamist has usurped a
woman from another man or has he from another man or has he found an
unmarried woman and married her.
It may be argued that there are economic and social conditions that favor
some men with better opportunities to procure more than one woman while
depriving others of their chances. In other words, it may be argued that the
existence of unmarried women does not necessarily mean an increase in the
number of females over males, but it may mean that social and economic
conditions ha-e forced some men and ~ omen to remain single.
This may be true, and in such circumstances the remedy should be applied to
social and economic injustices and not to restricting the right of marriage as
such restriction would not solve the problem.
Had Islam been applied, there would have been no social injustices or
economic discrepancies. By its very nature, it achieves harmony and
equilibrium in all social sectors, giving ample guarantees for justice to every
individual. One of these guarantees is that the wife can reserve the right, in t
marriage contract, to prevent her husband from acquiring wives besides
herself and divorce may be granted her if her condition is not met.

Islam treats the problem as a whole and not just parts of it. Partial
solutions are not permanent solutions. In this respect, Islam takes into
consideration the appetites of some men who cannot be satisfied with one
wife and will always be inclined to marry another. If such men cannot
satisfy their desires within the bounds of a monogamous marriage, they may
resort to some sort of illegal means to satisfy their desires.
The resulting immorality would upset society, the wife, and her married
life. Doubts and suspicions would torture her leaving her unable to live
securely or peacefully.
Would it not be better to allow for such unusual appetites by permitting
an honorable marriage instead of letting men commit sins in secrecy and
spread lewdness among their fellowmen? In Europe, for instance, polygamy
is forbidden, but it is an established fact that many men have mistresses.
Islam could have restrained such natural desires by means of punishment
so as to force every man to limit himself to one woman. This course of
action would have been anomalous to the principle of numerical balance
between the sexes, a principle which society must consider. One may argue
that if the question is to be decided by the natural process of numerical
equilibrium, why then has Islam limited the number of legitimate wives?
This is a delicate question as Islam considers polygamy a necessity which is
justified by society's need for it. To fulfill this need would hardly require
more than four wives as it is highly improbable that to correct an imbalance
in the sexes would require that each male marry more than four. Besides,
limiting the number of wives implies that license is given for certain
extraordinary circumstances and is not to be considered a pattern for
behavior under normal circumstances. Even so, this licence is subject to the
condition of justice to all wives. God says:
"But if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with your wives),
then (confine yourselves to) one only." (Q. IV. 3)
Justice here relates to the fair and equal provision of sustenance, housing,
clothing and affection. Yet absolute fairness cannot be expected in the
domain of love and compassion which is often beyond human control. The
husband is required not to show his preference to one before the others. God
says:
"You are never able to be fair and just between women, even if it is your
ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether so as to leave
her (as if it were) hanging (in the air) . . . " (Q. IV. 129)
It is wrong to judge polygamy from one point of view. It is generally
condemned because the first wife would suffer emotionally. Yet, this same wife
would not make the same judgment if she put herself in the place of the
unmarried woman, as she would prefer marriage to an adulterous
relationship. There are also other considerations which should be taken into
account when polygamy is seriously discussed. There are cases of ailing wives
whose husbands are willing to keep them despite their inability to look after
their households. There are also cases of the sterile wives of whom the husbands
are very fond etc.
By allowing polygamy, Islam aims at establishing peace by allowing for
different circumstances arising in life. It strikes a balance between the variou
inevitable shortcomings and injustices by opting for the most logical solution
and the enormous amount of' discussion and criticism has yet to offer a better
one.