Newsgroups: bit.listserv.hellas
Date:         Sun, 30 Aug 1992 10:27:12 EDT
Reply-To:     Styliani Nikouli <nikouli@ACSU.BUFFALO.EDU>
From:         Styliani Nikouli <nikouli@ACSU.BUFFALO.EDU>
Subject:      KOMATIA THS ELLINIKHS PSYXHS
Comments: To: hellas@uga.cc.uga.edu

AFIERWSH:  Ston Cris Koutsogera.

M. KARAGATSHS	(1908-1960)

TO AFENTIKO (apo: "To megalo sunaksari")


    Mia nuxta, ka0ws koimomoun sto patari voutigmenos ston idrwta, ksupnisa
apotoma apo kapoio 0oruvo.  Stin arxi, nomisa pws t' autia mou me gelasan, pws
den einai tipota. Anaka0isa sto strwma ki epsaksa katw ap' to maksilari mou,
na vrw to pistoli. Oloi oi alloi gurw mou koimontan kseniastoi.
    O 0oruvos eksakolou0ise makrinos ki aprosdioristos.  Akougontan sa na
'sernan karekles. Sa na voggousan... Xwris n' anapsw to fws, foresa viastika
to pantaloni mou, kai katevika ti skala psilafwntas.  Sto xeri kratousa panta
to pistoli. San eftasa sto magazi, sta0ika ki afougrastika. H fasaria ginotan
sto paramagazo, opou keitontan t' afentiko. Xamogelasa m' anakoufisi.  Evala
to pistoli stin tsepi. Kai piga na dw ti trexei.
    Ka0ws anoiksa tin porta, mia mpoxa katourliou me xtupise sti muti.  H lampa
itan nameni.  Ksafniastika vlepontas to krevati tou arrwstou adeiano. Ma ta
matia mou, peftwntas sto patwma, eidan ena 0eama pou xilia xronia na zisw de
0a to ksexasw. O Gerasimatos eixe katevei apo to krevati.  Me oli tin usteri
dunami tou paralutou kormiou tou, katafere na kourtouvalisei sto patwma. Ki
ustera, me ta xeria kai ta podia , me spasmous ki anataragmata, sa sixameri
skoulikantera sur0ike ws tin porta tis kamaras opou koimotan i nosokoma.  Ma
i kopela protou pesei eixe kleidwsei tin porta tis.  Kai tromagmeni apo
pro.i.goumenes apopeires, eserne pisw ap' to 0urofullo mian olokliri ntoulapa.
O Gerasimatos otan eftase mprosta stin amparwmeni porta parakalese, eklapse,
apeilise. Kai mi vlepontas ti n'anoigei, apofasise na ti spasei. Prepei na
sprwxne wres oloklires.  Pou ti vrike ti dunami auto to paraluto, to
misope0ameno saravalo; Poios panisxuros daimonas antrwne ta nekra tou
mouskoula, zwntaneue ta spasmena tou neura; Otan mpika sto paramagazo eixe
kator0wsei na spasei tin kleidwnia. Smprwxnontas, gkremise ti mikri ntoulapa,
pou me ton kroto pou ekane peftwntas, me ksupnise. Olos xara gia to kator0wma
tou sernontan sto patwma, prospa-wntas na trupwsei sp' to mikro anoigma tis
portas. H mixani eixe ksefugei ap' ta skelia tou kai ta xumena katoura
plimmurizan tin kamara. Ta gumna gerontisia meli tou saleuan arga, san plokamia
xtapodiou.  Kai gelouse. Xaxanize en0ousiasmenos gia to kator0wma tou.
Agkomaxouse, loksigiaze. kolumpwntas mesa sta oura kai tis roxales tou...
    Ta sw0ika mou anakatw0ikan.  Me duo klwtsies, ton kulisa makria apo tin
porta.  Kai pairnontas ton sta xeria, ton petaksa panw sto krevati.  Den eipe
tipota. Mono mou 'rikse matia gemati misos. Matia pou 0a pagwne to aima mou,
an o 0umos den to kane na vrazei sa moluvi analuto. Apo ti misanoixti porta,
trupwsa stin kamara tis kopelas, na tin isuxasw.  H kakomoira stekotan se mia
gwnia, pagwmeni ap' ton tromo, kuttazontas kata tin porta me matia alaliasmena.
H anasa tis eixe kokalwsei ston ksero tis laimo.
    Tin pira apo to xeri. Tin ksaplwsa sto krevati. Pseutogelousa, 0elontas na
tis dwsw kouragio. Tin parigorousa. Tis edwsa na piei mia goulia nero. Ma i
neuriki krisi ksespase apotoma. Mia ufesi, enas kataklusmos apo dakrua uster'
apo tin aperantosuni tou tromou. Eixe xwsei to kefali sto sti0os mou, sa na
xzitouse vo.i.0eia gia tin tragiki apokalupsi tis zwis. Ki eklaige. Eklaige
me anafilita, sa mwro paidi, se ksespasma adunamis apelpisias.
    Ki egw tin parigorousa. sa na itan mwro. Gelousa, tis elega saxlamares,
xa.i.deua ta ksepleka mallia tis.  Ki eksafna, eniwsa ped to paidi auto itan
gunaika mesti, omorfi, me kormi potismeno stous xumous twn eikosi xronwn tis.
Ta xeria mou, ap' ta mallia tis katevikan sto laimo. Xa.i.depsa me laxtara ta
gumna tis mpratsa. Xw0ikan tremouliasta sto anoigma tis nuxtikias...
    Den eklaige pia. Mono ekleise ta matia. kai perimene. Arpaksa ta xeili tis
mes' ta xeili mou. Esfiksa to lugero kormi pou parati0ike mesa stin agkalia
mou. Kai ka0ws mia 0ermi pno.i. anemou asvise to keri, kulistika mazi tis sto
krevati.
    Htan mia nuxta tou kalokairiou tis Afrikis, zesti kai xaunwtiki. To feggari
anevainontas ston ourano fwtise ti mikri kamara.  Enas grulos, ertize sti
xourmadia tou pla.i.nou kipou. Pera, sto kanali, kapoio viastiko vapori
sfurize. Tin agapisa me oli tin dunami twn eikosiduo mou xronwn. Me olon ton
erwtismo tis anerastis -ws tote- zwis mou/  To kormi tis itan gia mena
apokalupsi.  Ta xeili tis, pigi aneipwtis eutuxias...
    Emeiname ekei ws to prw.i., dosmenoi stin prwtognwri kai gia tous duo mas
agapi. To enstikto mas didakse ta xadia. Mas krufofanerwse tis idones pou
agnoousame. Ki otan pera, stin anatoli, i augi provale oloka0ari kai galazia,
akougame -me kardia vareia- ena tragoudi gemato anatolitiki 0lipsi, pou
antixouse sta isuxasmena dromakia tis kataspris politeias.
    O ilios konteue n' anateilei otan sikw0ika. Me sigana viamata vgika apo tin
kamara. Otan, ena 0eama parakseno me stamatise. O Gerasimatos, gia deuteri
fora, ksanakatevike apo to krevati. Sur0ike ws tin anoixti porta.  Ki ekei,
siwpilos ki amilitos, parakolou0ise tous erwtes mas. Sti 0esi auti ton vrike
o 0anatos.  T' anoixta tou matia kuttousan to anastato krevati me lagneia
axotagi.  Sto stoma tou eixe pagwsei ena xamogelo upertatis eudaimonias. Ki i
sarka tou, ksupnimeni gia sterni fora, apomeine sa sumvolo makavria
ksediantropo olokliris tis zwis tou...

    Exoun perasei trianta xronia apo tote.  Twra, eimai penintaris.  Den mou
apomenei para i 0umisi tou omorfou  ekeinou kairou tis niotis mou.  H 0umisi...
Ki enas tafos. Enas leukos tafos sto mikro nekrotafio tou Port-Sait, opou
koimatai to sterno tis upno i mikri Karpa0iwtissa. H gunaika mou...

   			*TELOS*


GIA TIN ANTIGRAFI
	STELLA NIKOULI
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