From: 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: just wondering...
Date: 20 Nov 92 20:16:00 GMT
Organization: The Corporation.

In article <1992Nov17.224622.14453@jetsun.weitek.COM>, weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
> In article <41112@sdcc12.ucsd.edu> ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen) writes:
>>hi holks...
	Hello Dzu.  Tried emailing you, but it didn't work for some reason.
>>
>>   I was here thinking the other day and i was wondering ...
>>
>>      what is it that makes someone become interested in one of
>>their friends? is it lonliness? is it seeing them from a different
>>perspective that they did not see them in before? and how can this
>>interest turn into love? does the spark subside or does it continue
>>to grow? this happend to me with my ex girlfriend. we had been good friends
>>before then one day i asked her out and then after that i asked her
>>out again (kinda the 'oh what the heck, i'm bored this weekend'
>>attitude) and again and again until eventually we started going out.
>>
> Who was bored? Her, you or both? If you acted bored when you asked
> her out, that is not going to make a good impression.
	I don't think this was what he was trying to say.  I think he was
trying to say they were both bored of not having any dates.
> 
>>anyway she said she needed her space after 3 months (whatta
>>line...ack) and we broke up. 
>>
> When someone uses a cliche, it can mean they are trying to avoid saying
> what they really feel.
	Ahh, but you have to account for the few people who have never heard of
these cliches before.
> So I wouldn't read too much into that. 
> 'Need space' should mean she feels you are trying to be closer than
        better ^^^^^^=could

	(I don't pretend to know what goes on in women's minds, either, so I
could also be totally wrong.)
> she is ready to be.
> 
>>                             we are still friends and she has gone
>>through 2 other guys since then (then being august) so i know that
>>the problem wasn't with me. 
	Let's not assign blame anywhere.  I do want to mention that maybe the
reason why she totally dumped on you was probably because she was afraid of
love.  Could be something in her past that has caused this fear in her.  Trust
me here, I know of where I speak.
>>
> What problem? You seem to be saying that because you broke up, that one
> of you must have a problem. This does not follow. There are lots of
> reasons for breakups.
> 
>>                             thinking back on it today made me wonder
>>and hence my question....any comments or ideas?
>>
>>dzu
>>
>[All of Michael's obvious stuff you could do in a situation like this removed
for space, although I am giving you the benefit of the doubt in these areas he
has mentioned (personal hygeine, etc.)]
> Good Luck,
> Michael.
	If you ask me, it sounds like you are both lonely, although you might
be a little bit more lonely.
	Also, I think that if you work at this, take it slow, something might
develop between you.  I sort of think the "I need space" line that she used
probably meant that she really didn't know what she is looking for.

	I also wish you luck,

	
-- 

 ______________________________________________________________________________
|Kyle S. Davis