From: rajain@ecs.umass.edu
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: WAKE UP INDIANS (was "60 Min./Dowry Story)!!!
Date: 27 Jan 93 14:57:54 GMT

In article <1993Jan24.215139.1@uwovax.uwo.ca>, siddiqui@uwovax.uwo.ca writes:
> Just finished watching a 60 minutes (CBS) story on dowry related deaths
> in India.  Well! to put it bluntly, I felt disgusted and thought that
> perhaps our preoccupation with religious, regional, linguistic and
> political conflicts is to be blamed for not even talking about this
> social evil on the newsgroup.  Wouldn't it be wiser if we discuss this
> outrageous practice and educate people on this subject instead of
> undermining each others religions.
> 
> Mahatma Gandhi once said that,"any man who makes dowry a condition
> for marriage discredits his education and his country and dishonours
> womanhood.  Young man who soil their fingers with such ill-gotten
> greed should be excommunicated from society".  Although many Indians
> concede that dowry is an awful custom because it can lead to 
> impoverishment, indignity and in too many cases to violence, anguish,
> grief and murder it still continues to flourish unchecked. Why? In my
> opinion, primarily because it has been an integral component of our
> social and religious heritage for centuries.  Bigger dowry means
> family pride and higher social position.  This tradition is unlikely
> to change in the near future because a large number of people want
> to preserve it or can envision no way out of it.  But we the educated
> and perhaps civilized bunch should do something about it.  May be refuse 
> to accept and give dowry?  How about a full page advert in Indian Express
> or Hindustan Times deploring this practice?

	You know what....I wasn't able to watch this program but my 
	two room-mates (who are grad students from Ethiopia) *did*
	watch it....and THEY WERE DISGUSTED !!! Obviously, the 
	conversation turned to that program once I reach home as
	one of them said 

	"Man, I liked Indians so far. But after watching that program
	 I realised you are sick !!! You burn your women ??!!! ShiT!"

	(he was not mad at me personally, but the thought of women-burning
	made him puke).

	After that we had a long discussion with them saying why don't
	you do something to stop it,
	and me maintaining that it *is* on the decline as today's youth
	is also repulsed to these deaths (or murders) and but in such
	a populated country it's not possible to stop it completely...
	Everyone wants to, but...

	At that they said the following to me:

	"Rajat, we understand how you think and how the other Indian
	students we know think, and we respect that you want to change
	all this crap. We know how much resentment and outrage was
	there among Indians students over the mosque issue (one of 
	them is a muslim), and no one wanted that to happen. 
	BUT we have observed that you Indians always just *SAY* that
	you resent this/ or that's disgusting but always add one more
	sentence saying 'Nothing can be done about it'. You know, 
	we do not understand WHY DON'T THE INDIAN STUDENT COMMUNITY
	REALISE THE GRAT POWER THEY HAVE IN THEIR OWN HANDS TO MAKE
	THE CHANGES, TO TURN THE IDEAS INTO STARK REALITY, .....
	BUT ALL IT TAKES IS UNITY (among students at least).....
	AND GUTS ..... which we are surprised to see not many of you
	have...otherwise you would be "doing" something to stop all
	this burning, instead of "discussing about it" and saying
	"wish it wasn't like that or what can *we* do"...

		"""

	This above.....I had no answer for. Stinging as it was
	and I could feel the hurt (by the words) deep down in my heart,
	I couldnot come up with the usual "smart-aleck" reply because
	I knew that what they were saying is true....We Indians students
	fail to rebel against these atrocities, we fail to save our
	mothers, sisters, wifes from these heinous crimes, we fail
	to take the advantage of the immense power that lies in our
	hands ..... but only if we were to unite and have the back-bone
	to stand up and face the music and say.... NO !!!

	The only place we succeed is : Analysis/Discussion which is
	the worst failure of all.

	I was hurt by the discussion but I knew it was an honest view
	of the young generation of our country. 

	Someone might ask me "Well! what did you do after the last
	remark ?"....Like the coward I am, I hung my head and walked
	out of the room.....but the thoughts did not leave me...their
	words ringing in my ears all the time and I could not sleep
	that night. This incident is a couple of days old, but I am
	still ashamed....not to be Indian, but still not being able
	to take any action....

	That's all I have to say. If you feel my room-mates were right,
	then I suggest we should take some action..and TAKE IT NOW !!!
	Otherwise, I will crawl back to my humble room and just ponder
	as to what is wrong with us ... the student community of India.

	Suggestions ? Flames ? Welcome...


> 
> Sincerely,
> Afzal A. Siddiqui
> Siddiqui@uwovax.uwo.ca
> 


		rAjAt.
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian