HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: waldbyjf@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU (The Automatic Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Hulman Blues
Date: 22 Jul 92 23:05:36 GMT
Reply-To: waldbyjf@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology

The parking lot was empty this time.  No men in dark suits waiting
around by my car to have a "chat" with me.  It was late.  Only three 
other cars were left.  I kept my eyes in the rearview mirror while I 
eased my sports model out onto the highway.  None of the cars followed 
me.

I lit up a cigarette and switched on the radio.  I had to think.  
Just my rotten luck, the station chose that moment to play an old
ABBA song.  The same one that was playing the night I said goodbye
to Her.

"Whatta you want outta me?"  I started to say it out loud, then 
stopped.  Talking to yourself is always the first sign of insanity.  
I decided to worry about that later -- if there was to be a later
-- and kept right on talking to myself.  "You already got Her."  It 
was almost a sob.  Now I was starting to scare myself.  I shut up.

I spit my cigarrette out the window and yanked at the radio knob to 
turn the damn thing off.  The car swerved dangerously while I was 
fishing a pint bottle of gin outta my glove box.  I had to start 
flushing that damn song out of my ears so I could start thinking.
Where could they have taken Her?

Then a voice spoke from my car speakers.  A voice I knew very well.   
The voice that chills my bones down to a few degrees centigrade:  
The voice of Dr. Pibb.

"Out for a evening drive, Julian, dear boy?"  I gripped the wheel.   
Tight.  How did he know?  "Naughty naughty.  I would have expected
to find you spending a quiet and productive evening in the lab."

I felt a cold fury rising, momentarily swamping my terror.  "Bastard!  
What have you done with Her?"  

"There's someone here who wishes to speak to you."  Oh my God.  I 
turned up the volume and strained to listen.

"Julian?"  The soft voice.  Yes.  Yes!  It was Her!

Mother.

--
Auto - Waldby
From: milliken@athena.cs.uga.edu (Brewmeister)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Complete this sentence
Date: 25 Jul 92 18:44:15 GMT
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens

In article <5qjmkyd.gooley@netcom.com> gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) writes:
><t.b personality> is the <famous or infamous person or fictional character>
>of talk.bizarre.
>
>Mark. [Gooley is the Eeyore of talk.bizarre]
>gooley@netcom.com

Multiple choice:
a.) Bob D. Crane
b.) Roger David Carasso
c.) Reggie Carson
d.) Regina Carson
e.) Rachel Dafni Christy
		    
		    is the Pee Wee Herman of talk.bizarre

-- 
Copy this .sig and just say noe to big-brother's monitoring of public bandwidth
*Bush Quayle conspriacy JFK cocaine LSD heroin marijuana AK-47 Iran Iraq Libya*
*Sandinista Contras Panama Noriega FBI CIA NSA Secret Service fixed-elections *
*Neil Bush S&L coverup potatoe wiretaps search & seizure bill of rights dead  *
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Ethical Question
Date: 23 Jul 92 01:00:33 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

Rick Kelly, fellow Old Music Fart:
|And besides, he forgot Blue Cheer.  They were the best band to listen to
|when shooting up Drano and Speed.  And dropping 10 hits of acid.

The guitar solo to Summertime Blues contains secret encoded messages
from the Ultraworld. See Gravity's Rainbow for details.

mr HEINOUS
cross-correlating the whole wide world
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: 100 Words
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 92 19:21:06 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

He put the watermelon he'd just brought back from the supermarket
on the kitchen table, and fetched a knife from the drawer. At the
moment the knife touched the flesh of the fruit, it began to play
Bach's Fugue in D Minor, with resounding depth and clarity. CLACK
went the knife on the kitchen floor; his jaw dropped; his thought
processes went into overdrive. "Some bloody joker", he eventually
managed to hiss through clenched teeth. As he bent, face grim, to
pick up the knife, he noticed a small hole at about the middle of
the watermelon.

It glowed.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant | how DARE they cancel Dennis Miller?             |
| poisoned electric head |                               andrew palfreyman |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: BUSH
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 01:33:13 GMT

>In article <1992Jul22.181221.5192@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> crussel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Carol A Russell) writes:
>
>>Should we vote to keep the status quo?

I think we should do away with the status quo altogether.  In fact,
if I were president, I would pass a law outlawing the status quo.

We've had a status quo here for years, and look where it's gotten us.
Nothing but trouble.


mark
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.corp.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Subject: words words words (was Homophobia)
Reply-To: cj@eno.corp.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 18:07:21 GMT

---
bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre) writes:
|CJ:
||>I've always had a problem with hidebound straitjacketed thinkers,
||>who act as if language were regulated by some kind of LOGICAL
||>RIGID RULE SYSTEM.  Living languages aren't, they haven't ever, 
||>and they won't.  Usage is language is usage.  
|
|This from the person who refuses to accept timeframe, hopefully, and
|irregardless as words.

rpwhite is right-- by refusing to use the UGLY ones, and using
the handy cute ones, we can shape the language as we like.  
"T*m*fr*m*" is a hideous word.  It is managerspeak.  It forces
the speaker to ADD needless words, instead of omitting them.
Compare "in the March t*m*fr*m*" with "in March".  I say we
throw it back into the roiling polluted swamp that is our
culture, and wait until it mutates more acceptably.

---
c j silverio
punctuation is usage, too: that period goes OUTSIDE the quotes
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:22628 alt.fan.gooley:36 alt.politics.gooley:31
From: rdc@netcom.com (Bob D. Crane)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.fan.gooley,alt.politics.gooley
Subject: XBIFF + GOOLEY
Date: 21 Jul 92 18:29:13 GMT
Organization: Symbolics Institute


I will pay $5 to the first person that write a program similar to
biff, except for newnews.  When gooley writes an article, I want to
know about it!  The output should be of the form:

   <BEEP>
   Go! Go! Gooley! Subject: "the lonely virgin (part 4 of 16)"
   <BEEP>

.

-- 
_________________________________________________________________
Bob D. Crane
Research Programmer,			Programmer		
Blue Engineering Project		Project Soar6
Symbolic Institute			School of Computer Science
University of Illinois
	
E-mail:  rdc@netcom.com
_______________________________________________________________

"The spear in the others heart is the spear in your own,
			you are he"   
	                     ---------  Attributed to Surak.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
From: rufus@cis.umassd.edu (Rui N Campos)
Subject: Re: AIDS and those damn democrats
Organization: University of Massachusetts Dartmouth
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 22:17:08 GMT

In <1992Jul24.145244.2414@athena.cs.uga.edu> tedr@athena.cs.uga.edu (Ted Kalivoda) writes:
>The Asian crisis should be interesting to analyze.  The data now is 
>probabaly very unreliable.  What do we know of drug use?  Of anal sex with
>prostitution?  Of the amount of homosexual risk activity?  I would like to 
>see some tough studies done on the breakdown of sexual activity and drug
>use.

Would you like to know why there is no such study?  Well, according to a 
recent issue of Discover magazine (I can't remember the date but it deals the 
issue is dedicated to the topic of sex research) There were about 3 such
detailed reports that were to be conducted in the next year.  The study was 
very comprehensive, and its goal was to provide a measure of the sexual
activity of Americans (the last such study was conducted in the late 30's
I believe, and we have been using this same data since) this way we could 
not only understand American sexuall behaviour, but we would also get some
clues as to how the AIDS virus is spread among sexually active people.
Sounds great doesn't it?  Well, funding for the research was withdrawn all
three times because of our good friend Jesse Helms.  It seems Mr Helms felt
that such a study would cause people to be tolerant of homosexuals (GASP!),
and it would allow gays and lesbians to take over the moral fabric of this
country.  I expect as much from Mr Helms, but the rest of congress should 
have let him howl and yammer, and kept up with the study.  Anyhow, I'm just
paraphrasing the article, If you are interested I suggest that you read the 
article for yourself.  I know it made me incensed(sp?)!

>As for Amercia,  the heterosexual proportion of those infected with HIV is
>rising for the  most part because the IVDA and Homosexual proportions are 
>decreasing, by the result of both information and death.

You forgot one other thing:  the homosexual community has been very quick to 
adapt to safe sex techniques, and the heterosexual community has done nothing
more than lip service.

Newsgroups: to.wasatch,talk.bizarre,alt.smouldering.dog.zone
From: finerty@msscc.med.utah.edu (that's mr. wonderful to you)
Subject: <None>
Organization: University of Utah Computer Center
Date: 29 Jul 92 23:30:38 MST

i had the worst nights sleep last night. there was this giant moth 
flying around in my bedroom and it was banging on the window 
(which is right above my head). this made me think that someone 
was trying to get in the house and basically resulted in me have 
weird dreams about all this shit appearing on my walls. the moth 
would also fly under my bed and i could hear it banging around down 
there. then it would manage to get out and would fly around and it 
actually crashed into my face a couple of times. this is not a good 
thing to have happen when you are in that place between sleep and 
awakeness. it pretty much freaked me out. but this is usually a good 
way for me to start the day. oh well.  in any event when i awoke in 
the moring it was still in my room. i caought it, pinned it to the 
floor with my fingers and proceeded to cut its head off with my 
disecting scissors. when i looked at it this morning (a day later) the 
body was still alive and would try to fly when i touched it. i wish i 
were that way. very cool. 



                               "GOD? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" ASKED
                                THE MINDLESS BOY."EVERYTHING ROLLED
                                INTO A SMALL BALL OF DISGUST."REPLIED
                                THE VINDICTIVE OLD MAN WITH A GRIN.

	PJF---->Biochem. grad student. "suffering *is* my game."
From: dknren01@uctvax.uct.ac.za
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: RICTUS HEP / JEOPARDY
Date: 21 Jul 92 07:47:21 GMT
Organization: University of Cape Town

In article <3453@atlas.tegra.COM>, vail@tegra.COM (Johnathan Vail) writes:
> 
> "What rhymes with onomatopoeia?"

Diarrhea?
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Complete this sentence
Date: 25 Jul 92 11:58:43 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)

<t.b personality> is the <famous or infamous person or fictional character>
of talk.bizarre.

Mark. [Gooley is the Eeyore of talk.bizarre]
gooley@netcom.com
From: jewell@MACE.CC.PURDUE.EDU (Larry Jewell)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Test Message
Date: 31 Jul 92 10:01:40 GMT


From news-responder@news.ysu.edu Thu Jul 30 21:58:50 1992
Received: from NEWS.YSU.EDU by mace.cc.purdue.edu (5.61/Purdue_CC)
	id AA29950; Thu, 30 Jul 92 21:58:43 -0500
Received:  by news.ysu.edu (5.65/25-DMS920325-eef)
	id AA03958; Thu, 30 Jul 92 22:57:04 EDT
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 22:57:04 EDT
Message-Id: <9207310257.AA03958@news.ysu.edu.
From: news-responder@news.ysu.edu
Subject: Response to your test post
To: jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu
Status: O

Your post to a test newsgroup has reached news.ysu.edu, the news-server
for Youngstown Free-Net and Youngstown State University.  We are located
in Youngstown, Ohio, USA, between Cleveland and Pittsburgh.

Your article, as we received it, follows:

Newsgroups: misc.test
From: bufalini@across.gis.psu.edu (Bruce A Bufalini)
Subject: Jewell is an psycho
Keywords: Jewell, psycho
Reply-To: jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu
Organization: Pep$i $tate Univer$ity
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 92 02:38:02 GMT


























































































































































































-- 
Bruce A. Bufalini (bufalini@gis.psu.edu)  |  It's a test of ultimate will
PSU Geographic Information Systems        |  The heartbreak climb uphill
                                          |  Got to pick up the pace
					  |  If you want to stay in the race
					  |
                                          |   -Neil Peart, 1985

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Subject: Mother
Organization: there is neither love enough nor time
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 17:28:24 GMT

The more i read talk.bizarre, the more i realize mom was right.

If you don't ignore them, they won't go away.

/: *AIDS/:j
/: *One line bio (cont.)/:j
/: *BUSH/:j
/: *jewell@/h:j
/: *milliken@/h:j

and ever more.

AjD
attention to me is more important than bandwidth, many people seem to
be saying.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.sex,soc.culture.british
From: waldo.bbs@cybernet.cse.fau.edu
Subject: Re: Homophobia(was Re: SEX)
Organization: Florida Atlantic University, Boca Raton
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 02:00:13 GMT

> Actually, I guess homophobia could also mean "fear of being the same" or
> more abstractly "fear of conformity" which is (kind of) exactly opposite
> of what it is used to mean... :D
> 
Words mean what they mean because of how we use them, not because of 
their linguistic origins.  Playing word-games trying to make the 
opposition look foolish only makes you look petty.  It additionally makes 
you look like you're grasping at straws to support your case - after all, 
if you had a better argument against those who hate homosexuals, why 
aren't you using it?

Waldo
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@netcom.com (richh)
Subject: HEY NEWBIES
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 92 17:47:02 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 



There is a command in Unix called "filter".  Using it, it's fairly 
trivial to screen out any mail from misc.test.  Here is the man page:

FILTER(1L)        MISC. REFERENCE MANUAL PAGES         FILTER(1L) 
 
NAME 
     filter - filter incoming messages before adding to mailbox 
 
SYNOPSIS 
     filter [-v] [-o output] 
     filter [-n] 
     filter [-r] [-o output] 
     filter [-c] [-s] [-o output] 
     filter [-c] [-S] [-o output] 
 
DESCRIPTION 
     Filter is a sophisticated program that allows incoming  mail 
     to  be  filtered against a wide set of criteria.  The format 
     for the rules, located in $HOME/.elm/filter-rules, is; 
 
             rule  ::=  if  (expression)  then  action 
 
     where expression is: 
 
             expression  ::=  {  not  }  condition  expr2 
 
             expr2  ::=  NULL=  always 
 
     These further break down as: 
 
             f:=  any  quoted  string 
 
             numvalue  ::=  any  integer  value 
 
     Ac            forward  address 
 lease see 
     The Elm Filter Guim Version 2.3                
1 
 
FILTER(1L)        MISC. REFERENCE MANUAL PAGES         FILTER(1L) 
 
     -c        Clear logs.  If this flag             "-s" or "-S" (see below). 
 
     -n        Not really.  Output what  would  happen  if  given 
               message from standard input, but don't actually do 
               anything with itlog messages to the specified file or 
               device.   (This  is  added to more gracefully deal 
               with changes in the file system (since sendmail is 
               quite  picky about modes of files being redirected 
               into.)) 
 
     -r        Rules.  List the rules currently being used. 
 
     -s        Summarize.  List a summary of the message filtered 
               log. 
 
     -S        This is the same as `-s' but includes  message-by- 
               message information additionally. 
 
     -v        Verbose.  Give output on  standard  out  for  each 
               message  filtered.   Useful  to have redirected to 
               ``/dev/console'' and such.  (see -o too). 
 
AUTHOR 
     Dave Taylor, Hewlett-Packard Laboratories. 
FILES 
     $HOME/.elm/filter-rules     The ruleset for the users filter 
     $HOME/.elm/filterlog        A log of what has been done 
     $HOME/.elm/filtersum        A summary of what has been done 
 
SEE ALSO 
     The Elm Filter Guide, by Dave Taylor. 
     readmsg(1L), elm(1L), mail(1), mailx(1), sendmail(1,8) 
 
COMMENTS 
     Not real smart about pattern matching.
---------------------------------

So there you go.  If you aren't on a Unix system, you're pretty much SOL, 
although I know of a number of other platforms that support analogous
commands.

Add the line to the proper file, and you can post to misc.test with
reckless abandon and a big ole dollop of impunity.

RICHH
--party pooper
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra)
Subject: Re: acoustical nightmare
Organization: t.b
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 18:34:20 GMT

dschmidt@athena.mit.edu (Denial Schmidt) writes:
> 
> My musical purchases this past week:
> 
> Frankie Valli & the 4 Seasons - Greatest Hits, Vol. 1
> 
> Last night I awoke in a cold sweat after dreaming that I was hearing
> an industrial version of "Big Girls Don't Cry" sung by David Thomas
> with a noise guitar solo.

     Could have been worse.  You could have
dreamt about me and an old and almost forgotten
friend who used to live in an apartment with
three other guys back in college.  Those four
guys were always partying, and thankfully
I didn't live there so when I got tired of it
all I could just go home.

     Anyway, one guy was a Frankie Valli
freak, but no one else could relate but me
and they never let him play any on the stereo.
But usually he would outlast them, and after
everyone else had passed out he'd get out the
Jim Beam, pour us a couple of shots, and he'd
put on Frankie Vallie and we'd jump up on the
barstools in the apartment and start dancing
and singing until we in turn finally passed
out.  Or moved on to The Four Tops.

     How's that for raising the hair on the
back of your neck.

--Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
                        {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Subject: "spew" comes between....
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 92 04:21:37 GMT



...spetches, n.pl. the trimmings of skins and hides,
                   used for making glue.

and

...sphacel, n. a slough or mass of gangrenous tissue.

-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: matmcinn@nuscc.nus.sg (Mcinnes B T (Dr))
Subject: Smegma Rich on Rictus Hep
Organization: National University of Singapore
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 06:52:20 GMT

"If Rictus were not such an asshole, nor would he be immortal. Think on
that, you atheist scumbags."
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: BUSH
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 11:56:03 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
  <9207230752.46@rmkhome.UUCP>
  <1992Jul23.150517.15722@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>

	When a population of the old is hidebound, inflexible
	and slavish to well-worn habits of a byegone era

	it will cost us more.

	Lao "Snooty" Tse
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Re: sexual inuendo
Organization: University of Virginia
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 20:35:01 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.201142.13315@cs.ucla.edu> jrobbins@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (Jason Robbins) writes:
>Here is a play on words that I must attribute to Dave Harkness:
>(I modified it a little...)
>
>  I wanted to have sex with my girlfriend, but I had to find some way
>of making my roommate get out before she came... over.
>
>-jason

help me out here, guys?
is this supposed to be funny?

-r
From: zed@silver.lcs.mit.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep's superstition
Date: 31 Jul 92 17:30:41 GMT
Organization: Liars for Truth
Originator: zed@silver.lcs.mit.edu

When he spills his seed, he throws some over his shoulder.

-- 
zed@silver.lcs.mit.edu     Metaphysical Help: $.05         The Philosopher Is
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: waldbyjf@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU
Subject: I can stop posting whenever I want. Really I can.
Reply-To: waldbyjf@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 20:28:44 GMT

I really feel comfortable around myself, just the two of us together.
I always listen, and I feel that I can tell myself anything, and I will
understand.
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:22915 misc.test:8846 alt.rap:3820
From: jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu (Larry Jewell)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,misc.test,alt.rap
Subject: Cool World
Date: 23 Jul 92 00:15:27 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Purdue University


Just saw it.








You were all in it.































































































































































































































.

-- 
#Larry W. Jewell (ex-USN) WWII-L Listowner    jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu     # 
#"Sunday's horoscope is noteworthy because of its strange, sudden and wholly#
#unpredictable and inexplicable occurrences, affecting all phases of life." #
#--"Your Horoscope," L.A. Evening Herald Express, Saturday, Dec. 6, 1941.   #
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep confused.
Date: 22 Jul 92 02:13:16 GMT
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

He thought the NT in Windows NT stood for New Testament.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.smouldering.dog.zone
From: sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA)
Subject: <   >
Organization: WHorshipers of Lady LibertY (WHoLLY)
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 15:43:14 GMT


I was trying to use the bathroom. I swiped my visa card through but it
was rejected.  Why did I have to buy that book? I could have borrowed
it from someone.  I hate borrowing books, though, if you drop it in
the sink while shaving you gotta buy them another one or hide every
time you see them.  And what if they see you first.  I started peeing
in the sink when a women walked in.  That's why my card was rejected,
it was trying to tell me I was in the wrong fucking bathroom.  The
woman snickered a little, then proceeded to tease her hair in the
mirror, I scrunched to one side to allow her better access to her
reflection.  I was rather flustered, though, and left without
finishing or even washing my hands, my kidneys throbbing with
resentment.

--

	\\\\\sean/////
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton