From: mjbrown@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mike J. Brown)
Subject: Kool Aid: Virgin Raver Tells All (LONG and BORING)
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 02:40:33 GMT

This is packed with way too many details, by the way. 

 ==========
|  BEFORE  |
 ==========

A couple of local record stores had flyers about a month ago for the Kool
Aid rave, happening Saturday, July 25th, 1992, in Cleveland.  Cybersonic
and F.U.S.E. were to play, and Joey Beltram was the headlining DJ.  I had
passed on going to the Tidal Rave put on by the same promoters a while
back, but decided to go to this one after a friend who went to Tidal said
it was really good.  I had talked to Todd Sines [Body Release] a few times
over the computer and he said he was going up to play at the RiverRave on
Friday and would stay for Kool Aid on Saturday.  He said I could stay with
him and the other two guys in Body Release at his Mom's house 40 minutes
outside of Cleveland.

So I decided to go.  Friday evening I called my friend Amy, who I hadn't
seen in a long time.  Amy's really great, an inspiration to everyone she
meets.  She's a film maker.  We decided to get together and catch up.  We
talked for a long time and ended up going out for a late dinner at The
Spaghetti Warehouse.  I didn't tell her this, but at one point when she
was talking I stopped looking at her and without moving my eyes I
concentrated really hard on seeing _everything_ in my field of vision,
ingraining the image in my mind, filing it under Good Times With Good
Friends, The Best Times Of My Life, and Images From My Youth.  I'll never
forget the scene, never.  Anyway, it suddenly occurred to me that it
would be really great to go to the rave with Amy.  I asked and she
accepted anxiously.  She had never been to one either, but she actually 
knew what I was talking about, and she even dropped the words techno and 
cyberpunk in the next few minutes of conversation!  This totally took me
by surprise; none of my other friends could do as much.  Afterwards we
went to a coffeehouse across from campus and listened to a blues band,
talked some more, then went for a walk to the computer lab so I could 
check to see if Todd had EMailed me about how we were going to meet.
I told Amy I had never met the guy in person and we were kind of winging
it; apparently I was to call his Mom's Saturday afternoon and we would
figure out a way to get together then.  Amy was ecstatic about the power
of the computer networks!  She vowed to get an EMail account as soon as
possible and learn all about it.  Cool!  She also said she had seen Body
Release play last month and knew one of the guys in the band!

Saturday I spent the afternoon in the laundromat, then picked up Amy for
the drive to Cleveland.  She's from that area, too, and said we could
stay with her friends if we didn't hook up with Todd.  I called his Mom
at 3:00pm right before we left and he hadn't shown up yet.  Great.  Watch
this fall through.  On the way up (it's about a 2 1/2 hour drive) Amy came 
up with a great idea for a new film.  I was just looking forward to the
rave; I wanted to see what it was all about --the music, the dancing, the
atmosphere, the altered states... was it really going to be a romanticized
underground subculture, or just a pathetic, commercial Midwestern imitation  
of a scene that maybe doesn't even exist anymore?  I've danced around my
room enough.  I've spent enough of my money on techno and ambient records.
It was time to go to the source of my stimulation, or perhaps the outlet,
or maybe both...

Driving into downtown Cleveland is great.  There is a humongous industrial
district where you can look out and see nothing but metal ducts, smoke
stacks, factories, warehouses, railroads, and at night the iron works blow
blue and orange fire out the smokestacks.  Chilling.  Exciting.

We went to the Tower City Mall downtown and I called the rave number again.
Same message as before, to the effect of "we had to move the location due
to power requirements, we'll announce the new location at 6 o'clock."
It was 6:15.  I called Todd's mom.  He was there!  Before long he was on
his way to meet us at the mall.  Amy called her best friend Cindy who would
meet us at the mall too.  While we were waiting for everyone to show up we
went shopping.  I ended up buying a Little Mermaid cup from the Disney
Store.  I wondered if I should get some "better" clothes to wear.  The
pictures I had seen of West Coast raves seemed to have a lot of people in
what I would call costumes.  I couldn't find anything; guess I'd just make
do with a gold t-shirt, gray baggy shorts, white socks, and brown street
hikers.  Cindy showed up first and we waited and waited for Todd but he
took forever.  Finally I went back to the phones to call the rave number
and Todd again.  I got the rave location and admission price and was just
dialing Todd's number when I heard someone go "Mike?  Are you Mike?"
There was Todd and one of his friends from Body Release!  They were just
stopping by the restrooms before they looked for me & Amy and saw me on
the way in.  (I had described myself to him over the phone.)  We said our
hello's and I asked Todd's friend (Titonton) if he knew Amy Dubin.  He
said yes and nearly flipped when I told him that's who I was there with.
We all got together and became instant friends.  Things were going great!
I couldn't wait!

Cindy and Amy had to drive way out East to drop off Cindy's friend who
wasn't feeling well, so Todd, Titonton, and I drove to Coventry to wait
for them and to kill time before the rave.  It turns out that Coventry is
*the* hangout for the cool young people in Cleveland.  There were a couple
hundred people of all types at the Arabica coffeehouse there, some of whom 
I would see at the rave later.  We met a lot of people there, including
two nice girls both named Kelly.  One of the Kellies had come up from
Pittsburgh to go to the rave, and like me, she had hooked up with Todd 
through the network and only just met him that day.  The other Kelly 
wanted very badly to go to the rave, but didn't have enough money, so I
gave her 10 bucks.  Kelly number one said she was scared for me, scared
that I would get taken advantage of one day when I was too generous.  I
suppose she's right.  I look at things kind of strangely.  My motivation
for giving her the money was (1) she was nice, (2) she wanted so much to
go, (3) it would brighten her day, and (4) it's a good thing to do, I mean,
if somebody does that for her, she may do something equally good for
someone else, even if she doesn't remember me doing what I did for her.
My generosity may not come back around to me, but properly directed it can
benefit people I don't even know.  What is strange about that is that I
think that if everybody did that, which is what I want, I wouldn't feel as
compelled to do it, because it wouldn't make her as happy --it wouldn't
mean the same thing that it does now because hardly anybody else does that
kind of thing.  I have to be different.  I didn't expect anything of her, 
except to see her at the rave, which I did.  She thanked me over and over; 
she was so happy, and that made me happy.

Amy and Cindy arrived around 11:00 (rave time!), and while we were all
sitting there (by this time there were about 11 of us) I started thinking
about what was really going on.  We split up again and headed to the rave
site downtown.  On the way I thought some more.  

***ALL of these things that happened, starting with the gathering at 
Arabica --no, starting with the meeting at the mall --no, starting with 
dinner with Amy --no, starting with the interactions on the computer net
-- all of these things between then and now are part of the rave
experience!  In the car on the way downtown I got the feeling that all
over Cleveland this was happening; people were getting together and
hooking up with more people, strangers were becoming friends, all these
people were converging downtown under the singular pretense of happiness.
Five years after high school I am re-experiencing what it means to be a
part of today's young generation.  Older people don't do these things.
You could never get half a dozen thirtysomethings to Come Together without 
an Ego war.  One of the things I noticed about the rave is that it is
entirely Ego-free.  Alcohol was sold but wasn't people's reason for being
there, which sets the Rave apart from the typical drunken-frat-boy-night-
out at the campus bars.  This is *ours*; the rave is the product of the
subculture of the young and is the perpetuator of that subculture.  I
hadn't even been to the actual rave yet and I am already overwhelmed by
its power, what it means, where it came from, and how it is expanding
across the country --no, around the WORLD!  I got into it through the
music, but that's only one entry point.  The whole reality of society and
culture is a three-dimensional web, interconnected with continuously-
mutating strands of personalities, meeting in common points of abstraction
like types of music, social scenes, interests, work, school, art... the
rave in there somewhere on the edges, its connections to other parts of
culture/reality defined by the differences between the individuals who
are the ravers.  Totally cosmic.

 ==========
|  DURING  |
 ==========

We got to the warehouse, paid a couple bucks to park, and waited in line 
to get in.  It was 11:30 and they weren't letting people in.  No music.
Oh my God, the Village People are standing behind us.  Look at everyone.  
All different shapes and sizes and colors, people from all over.  Nothing
wrong with what I'm wearing.  That doesn't matter at all; no one cares!
There are about 500 people here.  Not the 1,000 promised by the hotline, 
but a decent crowd considering the size of the venue.  15 minutes later, 
music: Jam & Spoon, "Stella".  Cool.  The line moves.  Cool.  Cindy 
has to leave before we get in.  No problem.  We walk her to her car and
get back in line.  Police are checking ID's at the door.  Guess this isn't
_that_ underground.

We go in.  Up the stairs.  It's a big room with a really neat tiled floor.
The stairs come out right in the center.  Here's the layout:

                                          fire escape ######
 ----------------------------------------------------    --------
|       |        lighting   .               .        fan |       |
| guys  |         crew      .     stage     .            | gals  |
|_______|                   .................            |_______|
|                         amps             amps                  |
|                                                                |
|                                                                |
|                                                                |
|                                                                |
|                                                                |
|}                                                               |
|} cheap chill out      |===|                                    |
|} projections          |===| stairs                             |
|                       |===|                                    |
|                       |===|                             :::::::|
|                       ~~~~~                             ::beer |
|::::::::::                                               ::and  |
|hats,t's::                                               ::water|
|whistles::                                               :tables| 
 ---windows--covered--up--with--plastic--garbage--bags-----------

There were lights (something-Scan's) mounted all around the room and on
some of the columns.  Most of the columns had mirrors on them.  I think
the place used to be a dance studio or something.  Well, this night it
was definitely serving its purpose.  People began dancing immediately,
and the energy level ebbed and flowed for hours, reaching peaks during
the Cybersonic/F.U.S.E. performance and during Joey Beltram's set.

Virgin Raver Tells All:                                          

Things I didn't like: water $1 a cup, poor ventilation, $60 for a t-shirt?
                      no chill-out room, crummy part of town, makeshift
                      restrooms

Things I liked: all types of people, all types of dress, no pretentiousness!,
                no fights, good lights, good music (no vocals!)

I walked around a bit at first, feeling the excitement of being there wear
off, replaced by feelings of curiosity and confusion, and finally the worst
thing happened: I sank into the corner by the fan, horrified.  I didn't like
it.  I didn't want to be there.  I didn't know why.  I could think of a lot
of reasons I did want to be there (the music, the lights, Joey Beltram, 
seeing what it's all about) but I couldn't figure out why I wanted so much
to get the hell out of there.  Then I remembered.  I have an enormous fear
of crowds.  I'm not afraid of the people per se, nor do I feel afraid to
dance in front of the people there... I don't understand it, really.  I've
just never been able to experience "going out" as a positive thing.  It's
not my thing.  I don't dance.  I don't mix.  So what did I do?  I sat still.
I watched the lights and the people.  I listened to the music.  I put my
head in my hands and asked myself why I came.  What I really meant by that
was how could I forget about the crowd thing and get all caught up in it
like I did and spoil it for my friends when I got there?  I felt sorry for
myself for a while.  Amy was very concerned and spent some time with me
trying to find out what was wrong.  I told her it had nothing to do with
her or Todd or Titonton or anyone else there; it was all up in my head.
She asked if I wanted to go.  No.  Yes, I wanted to go, but I had no reason
to.  I had a bizillion reasons to stay.  She said she'd keep an eye on Todd
and Titonton and suggest that we leave when they got tired.  Okay, that
sounds fine.  Eventually I wandered around some more and bumped into Kelly,
the one I had given the money to.  She was so happy!  I asked her for a
cigarette.  She said, "it's the least I can do."  I walked back over to
the fan (it was terribly hot anywhere else and I wasn't even dancing!) and
finished it off.  I felt better.  I didn't feel like dancing, but the
anxiety was gone.  Cool.

Now thinking more clearly, I found myself taking an observer role, watching
and learning.  I was entirely fascinated by the Cybersonic/FUSE performance.
Just two regular guys standing behind these little pedestals.  One guy had
a mixer and a sequencer.  The other guy had a sequencer and a Roland TR909
drum machine.  They cranked some cool acidic techno.  Later Joey Beltram
was DJ'ing.  That was neat.  I didn't even know it was him until half an
hour into it I looked at his box of records and saw "Beltram" and "Program
2" sticking out.  And I noticed that he was doing a better job than the
other DJ's did.  The music was better, the mixing was better, and something
else --something I never cared about before-- was better, too:  he was
keeping the energy level up.  It was incredible.  Here was this ordinary
looking guy (I mean really ordinary looking - not the flashy ravegod I had
expected!  He looks like he should be studying window repair at a tech
school or something!) in a t-shirt, bluejeans, and sneakers, wielding huge
amounts of POWER over the crowd.  Standing behind the stage, I saw one
regular guy, then a pair of turntables, then a sea of whipping heads,
hands and arms.  I learned something.  I had always told myself that I
didn't want to be a DJ because I would only want to play the music I wanted
to hear and had no interest in dancefloor energy or adjusting my mixing to
suit the response of the crowd.  But now I want that power.  More
importantly, I WANT TO MAKE MUSIC!!!  I've always been coming up with
remixes in my head, and lately I've been formulating some arrangements.
After seeing the power of music existing in the hands of people like me,
I WANT TO MAKE MUSIC OF MY OWN!!!  I'm going to talk to Todd and Titonton
about it.  It's going to happen.  I'm so glad I came.  This rave is great!
Thank you, Amy, for the inspiration to actively realize my dreams.  
I have some direction, now, finally.  Thank you, Kelly, for that important 
cigarette.  Thank you, Body Release, Cybersonic & FUSE, and Joey Beltram,
for showing me the power and accessibility of techno music.  Thank you,
alt.rave, sfraves, leri-l, for bringing people together.  I hope this
article serves as in inspiration for the ravers and future-ravers alike.
Thank you, all!
-- 
Mike Brown
mjbrown@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu
"The Universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter."
Organization: Sophomore, Math/Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA