HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Sox, Dimes and Launderettes
Date: 21 Dec 92 18:41:55 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1aqas*HJ0@prolix.apana.org.au> dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton) writes:
>In article <18106@autodesk.COM>, Elaine Richards writes:
>
>> Needless to say, I have perfected the art of laundry life. I have one
>> month's worth of socks and underwear. I only go once a month at 8AM
>
>Sheesh Elaine, after one month, doesn't the aroma of unclean
>clothing festering in a container, start to get a teensy bit
>noticable?

Not really. When I was a jogger, it needed to go more than once
a week. Fortunately, at the time, the laundromat was closer and
had better hours. Right now, I don't exercise much and, thus, do
not have that Eau Du Longshoreman whiffitude. 

Another thing I have discovered is that tobacco smoke accounts for
a large amount of the nasty smell of dirty laundry. Since people
aren't smoking that much anymore (the smokers appear to have died),
I don't have to deal with that musty smell on my clothing.

Peeve: When I do go to a place that has smoking, I have to trundle
off to the laundromat to wash the stuff. That happened this week.
Gr.

!Peeve: Fewer people in the area smoke and the restaurants are
all becoming non-smoking areas.

--

Heard of any plans for Malcolm XI?
-cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Bleeding heart liberals
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 92 16:15:01 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <q8gr8v+@lynx.unm.edu>, baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
|> 
|> !Peeve: A mere 11 hours and I'll be on the way for 4 fun filled days
|> on the Colorado slopes. Oh Bliss! Oh Joy! 
|> 
|> 	I'll prolly break a leg, or something worse.

I would advise against it.

!Peeve: After 14 1/2 weeks, I'm out of a cast.  I'm wearing a leg brace, but
at least I can bend my knee now, and I can take off the brace for baths, bed,
etc.  Way cool!
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch."      |
|                                   --Lily Tomlin  |
+--------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Sadness
Date: Sun, 03 Jan 1993 09:27:20 GMT
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00

The damned cat used to jump up onto my shoulder, and act like a
parrot, well, not actually say 'pieces of eight' or anything,
just purr, and occasionally scritch it's claws on the back of my
high-backed chair.  Or me if I was unlucky.

Usually it jumped on the keyboard in the process of climbing up,
and typing random junk [deleting articles, exiting the news
reader, etc. etc] The worst habit it had was jumping up, landing
on the computer mouse, and accidently activating some other
screen or menu.

The cat also liked to play around at the back of the computer,
next to the window, waiting for the moths and Christmas beetles
to fly _through_ the glass. 

When she was outside, she would chase birds, and climb trees, and
go into the shed and get covered in spider-webs.  She liked being
stalked by me and my trusty Super Soaker 200 water pistol, as
long as she didn't get too wet.

She also liked to play around the house, running around, and
leaping at you from behind doors. 

She was run over yesterday morning, and is very very dead.  Which
is a bloody big peeve.

Dac
--
dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
                    <Using ARN on an Amiga 4000. Yay!>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: sch@oasis.icl.co.uk (Simon Hamner)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Palestine.
Date: 23 Dec 92 11:31:39 GMT
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

dourish@EuroPARC.Xerox.COM (Paul Dourish) writes:
> In article <BzMt2G.LLu@vcd.hp.com>, dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe) writes:
> > eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com writes:
> > This reminded me of a section in Willard R. Espy's "Words at Play"; I don't
> > know how accurate it is.
> 
> > English place names:
> [...]
> > 	Abergavenny		aber-genny
> [...]
> > 	Pontrefact		pom-fret
> 
> God, there's that plate tectonics effect again. Watch out everyone!
> Abergavenny and Pontefract appear to have moved to England in some
> curious freak geological accident! I bet they're both *really* pissed
> off, too.
> 
> Peeve: People who can't tell the difference between the nations of the
> United Kingdom. These people are largely American or English,
> curiously.
> 
>                                             -- Paul (a Scot in England)
> 
> --
> Paul Dourish, Rank Xerox EuroPARC, Cambridge, UK   <dourish@europarc.xerox.com>
> 
>           "Ain't they got no barbers where you come from, boy?"

Peeve: People who say my town of birth is not in England. Pontefract is in 
England, West Yorkshire to be precise, near to wonderful places like Wakefield
& Featherstone. And its pronounced the way its spelt/spelled. As to Pomfret
they do actually make those little chewy liquorice things there.

!Peeve: relatives who work at the place where they make Pomfret cakes, and free
samples.


     Simon.
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
   S.Hanmer  - PADI Open Water Diver                    ___   oo
                                                       (o o) ..    
   Please reply to sch@oasis.icl.co.uk                 ==o          <X
   if you have any problems mailing me.               /     \
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Bleeding heart liberals
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 92 07:53:39 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <1992Dec23.033928.4692@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>What can I say about a fellow who get such nice groups?  He could land
>5-6 rounds all in a row, all withing a inch circle.  I know that it
>was an inch circle because the FUCKING TARGET STAND WAS MADE OF 1 1/4"
>PCV AND IT'S NOW ALL SHOT UP!!!!  Sorry, I lost control.
	I would just like to say here that the first time was an accident.
The sun got in my eyes or the wind was blowing, or some other lame excuse
for missing the target. However, after that, Russ darned near bet me that
I couldn't hit the stand again, so I was duty bound to blow the crap out
of it. Yeah, that's it. It was my sacred duty. It had nothing to do with
being a lousy shot or anything like that.

>So, you feed 'em, give 'em ammo and what do they do?  THEY TAKE A
>FUCKING SKIING VACATION IN COLORADO AND DON'T EVEN OFFER TO TAKE YOU
>ALONG!  Oh, sorry again, lost it for a bit...
	Don't worry, Russ. By day after tomorrow, you'll have forgotten
all about this. That's how your neurons seem to work, anyway. Besides,
given a choice of hanging out with my relatives over Christmas or hanging
out with yours, you are probably better off going with the known evil.

!Peeve: A mere 11 hours and I'll be on the way for 4 fun filled days
on the Colorado slopes. Oh Bliss! Oh Joy! 

	I'll prolly break a leg, or something worse.

-- 

"My essential point is that the First Amendment does more for men
than it does for women by protecting speech that supports patrimony"
  -- Law Prof. Mary Becker, U of Chicago Law School
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Re: Life........
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 20:48:03 GMT



	   It has just occurred to me that:

	   "Life's a bleach, then you dye".

	   Remember, you read it here first.



ObPeeve: I'll probably see this on a T-shirt made in Hong Kong
	 before the end of next week.




Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Loaded, Locked & Naked
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 92 19:12:14 GMT
Organization: Holy Order of PowerBook 180 Lust

In article <1hsk8vINNpk1@news.umbc.edu> potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>In article <06prdkg@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
>>MR DANIEL C A HILLMAN
>>What do you do if you're locked out of your hotel room--naked?
>>
>>No shit, there I was, getting the mail out of the mailbox, and 
>>*that* message glared up at me. Guiltily, I glanced down the street. 
>
>well? did they suggest an answer?

Yes, and a pretty flaccid answer it was. After skimming through the
letter (a plea to subscribe to *Smithsonian* magazine), I found the
answer:

To what you should do if you find yourself locked out of your room--naked--
in a fancy European hotel.
(ANSWER: Find the concierge. He is trained to handle just such emergencies,
from the improbable to the downright bizarre.)

Now this really peeves me. Judging from the original question one would
assume they're talking about average American hotels. I figured that the
answer would say something like "if you lock yourself out of your room
buck naked in the Hyatt Regency, you can always take the elevator down
to the pool and steal someone's towel."

But "in a fancy European hotel" makes me wanna scream "bait & switch."
Fancy European hotel indeed. Hell, if you're in a fancy European hotel
the best strategy is to just knock on the next door over; you're sure
to meet someone interesting. Who knows, it could be a perky feem with
a cute accent who also happens to be rich, it being a *fancy* hotel and
all that.

d "pardon me, i was just strolling 'round naked as a jay bird and wondered 
   if you had any grey poupon..."
-- 
We've replaced the fine baby Jesus we normally use with Folgers Crystals.
Let's see if they notice the difference.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Rhino virus peeve
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 92 05:24:57 GMT

In <1992Dec29.160355.2743@spectrum.xerox.com> eradm@wbst845e.xerox.com (Erik Radmall) writes:

[re: rhinos]

>The worst part is when they impale you on their horns and shake their heads
>vigorously from side to side.

That brings to mind a question that I have never gotten a good answer to --
What is the difference between horns and antlers?

BTW, Erik, if you rub their bellies they'll fall into a trance.  But be
quick or you'll be dead.

Peeve:  It isn't so much rhino viruses any more, but a full-BLOWN cold.

Mucousfully,
  -Bill
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re:  A Definite Not-Peeve
Date: 21 Dec 92 16:52:47 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Andrew Clayton) writes:
>[I get sick of reiterating 'Hey, Banta, you're a smeghead'
>though, and it only irritates the poor man when he can't think
>of anything as banal and truthful to pop right back]

Like: Shut up and suck on this.

Kisses,
drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
 by those who have not got it."
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: So this is Christmas
Date: 21 Dec 92 22:21:43 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <LARRY.92Dec21105224@peak.psl.nmsu.edu> larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:
>Elaine> I looked at the gent levelly and said, "That's very nice,
>Elaine> now what did you get *me* for my birthday?" The next
>Elaine> Christmas he got me a toolbox and some opal earrings. :-)
>
>Peeve: The CO, when asked what she *really* wants for Christmas, says
>       "Oh.. I just want a cord of firewood.." Yeh, right!


True, what she really wants is a cord of firewood and a box of chocolate.

>Peeve: Having to BORROW the CO's crappy tools from the crappy tool box
>       and tool set you bought her five years ago.. Particularly that
>       little dinky claw hammer.
>
>A man needs a [manly] HAMMER! Like Dad's old Estwing framing hammer. By
>God you can set a roofing nail with a single blow..


Women need real hammers too. A 16oz hammer is minimal for getting a job
done and a heavier hammer might be too much of a pain in the arm to
deal with. A 16 oz hammer is optimal for *most* jobs, but a gal has to
bust up something large once in a while, like pesky rocks or palmettos
in Florida.  I also have a 5lb sledge and a 25lb sledge.  Don't ask.

Shame on you, Larry, for buying her crummy tools in the first place.


--

Heard of any plans for Malcolm XI?
-cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com
From: ee52fbc@sdcc15.ucsd.edu (Maiko Covington)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Holiday peeves
Date: 2 Jan 93 19:00:25 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <1992Dec28.184505.15873@igor.tamri.com> donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:
>Peeve #3:  Toshiba puts out a calendar for all employees every year.  In
>           the past years, they've done well when selecting a topic:  one
>           year, it included photos of the most beautiful places in the
>           world; last year, it had some decent photos of paintings.  Well,
>           this year, they completely spazzed and selected Ann of Green
>           Gables as their topic.  What kind of Engineering Department
>           do they think this is?

	Hmmm. Is it Toshiba America or the Toshiba in Japan that
made the calendar? The reason I ask is that for some reason 'Anne of
Green Gables' is enjoying rabid popularity in Japan since last year
at least. It has gone so far that there are guides for how to spend
your vacation in the setting where the book was, and there is an
amusement park/garden place called 'Anne's world' or some such which
is supposedly a reproduction of Anne's village (albeit surrounded by
rice fields, heh heh). Crazes like this are peevesome in general.

	Maiko Covington
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Working the Week Before Jesus' Birthday
Date: 23 Dec 92 22:59:14 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1992Dec23.175342.28520@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
>Need I say more?  It is a slow as Christmas around here, but I am too
>cheap to use up my vacation time unless I am also leaving town.  So I
>have been sitting around with my thumb in a certain place killing time.


Well, I got in late to work because I blew out a tire on someone`s
socket wrench lying in the road. We were supposed to get out at 11:30
for a party. I got to work at 11:15. So, I went and did work. The
boss asks me to help him at 2:30 and the guys who normally carpool
are playing some kind of destroyer game on their sparcstations that
not only trashes imaginary planes, but trashes the network for real.
The boss was understanding, but it did not do much for me in the
brownie point department when he threw his hands in the air (no amputation-
so don't get ideas about machetes) and decided not to deal with it this
week.

Double Peeve: Sometimes I have dreams that predict things that really
happen. It always gives me a fierce case of the willies. I had a dream
a week ago that a big piece of metal was going to tear a hole in my
tire. Then it happened. Now I am not going to get any sleep because 
I won't want to dream about the next earthquake...

!Peeve: I got a new sweater. Its very cute. It is a cute, femmy sweater
that is also a note to the world that I am a nerd. The sweater has
cute little racoons on it. Racoons are nerds of the animal world.
They stay up all night, have dark circles around their eyes, and eat
garbage. Yup, that's me all right. I also wash my food before I eat
it.


--

Heard of any plans for Malcolm XI?
-cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,news.admin.policy
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: cross-posting peeves. Again
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 19:08:57 GMT

In article <LARRY.92Dec27031740@peak.psl.nmsu.edu> Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way writes:

>Grouchy old bastard that I am, I find myself peeved by:
>
>     From: cs360@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Geoffrey William Buhl)
>     Newsgroups: alt.flame,soc.culture.african.american,alt.politics.correct,
>     misc.test,talk.politics.misc,alt.peeves,alt.politics.clinton,alt.
>     president.clinton,alt.religion.kibology,alt.politics.bush,alt.fan.
>     rush-limbaugh,alt.rap
>     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>Christ on a crutch! Look at that. Is that *13* cross-posts?
>You left out alt.matters.of.great.importance.to.all.earth.people.
> [ ... ]
>Peeve: That the network accepts cross-posts to more than three or four
>       newsgroups at a time in the first place. It's too much power to
>       make available to someone whose testes haven't completely descended
>       yet.
> [ ... ]
>Peeve: That the newsreaders faithfully pick up 13 cross-posts for
>       someone's reply. It propagates the problem.

Solution: A small modification to pnews, inews, et al.  IF more than one
group is specified in the Newsgroups: line, AND nothing is specified in
the Followup-To: line, THEN fill in the string "poster" in the Followup-To:
line.  Let the perp handle the responses.

>"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_

-- 
Rick Gordon      | "Loud is good." 
rickg@netcom.com |   -- Frank Loesser 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Holiday peeves
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 92 18:45:05 GMT

Peeve #1:  On Monday the 21st, the start of what was supposed to be a
           relaxing vacation, my Geo Metro had a flat tire as I was on my
           way to complete my Christmas shopping.  I had to stop in the
           fast lane and change a tire, with cars whizzing by my head at
           70+ mph.  My peeve is that I did not experience the complete
           enlightenment which is supposed to accompany such proximity
           to instant, violent death.

Peeve #2:  One of my best friends ever just married the totally cool woman
           he's been seeing for well over a year; also, they're expecting a
           baby anytime now.  My peeve is that my friend's happiness was
           severely offset by his father's death, which occured on Christmas
           Eve.  The weird part is, his mother also died at this time of
           year, about 15 years ago.

Peeve #3:  Toshiba puts out a calendar for all employees every year.  In
           the past years, they've done well when selecting a topic:  one
           year, it included photos of the most beautiful places in the
           world; last year, it had some decent photos of paintings.  Well,
           this year, they completely spazzed and selected Ann of Green
           Gables as their topic.  What kind of Engineering Department
           do they think this is?

    don

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If it ain't life-affirming, it ain't shit." -- Rejected corporate motto,
Touchstone Pictures.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Swearing
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Sun, 3 Jan 93 23:12:37 GMT

In article <1992Dec31.223702.3203@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu
(Bill Berbenich) writes:
>Damn, dac, we ALL have 38.4 kbps PPP (or SLIP) connections here in the
>YewWess!

Well, only in the poorer neighborhoods...

>Now here's a frightening thought - I wake up one morning to some strange woman
>who keeps shaking me and saying "dac!  wake up or you'll be late!"
>
>And when I reply to say "Leave me the fuck alone, I want to sleep!" it is in
>an Australian accent.  But the true horror wouldn't come until I got up and
>looked in the mirror...
>
>YIKES!  Just the thought of it gives me the willies!

Well, there's the little bit of absurdity that will clue you in to the fact
that you're having a nightmare.

After all, we all know Dac doesn't HAVE a willy!

   don
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Cold weather peevette
Date: 21 Dec 92 10:51:09 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

This morning my car door locks were completely frozen solid -
and my de-icer was inside the car. It's enough to make you
blame Mike Holmes!!

p.s. - I know I repeated a Xmas peeve - but it wasn't original
the first time either;-(




-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

This message cost the net hundreds if not thousands of dollars.
Bloody good value if you ask me.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: obrien@netcom.com (Robert O'Brien)
Subject: Re: Rhino virus peeve
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 07:23:27 GMT

In article <1992Dec28.234450.1751@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?) writes:
>All of a sudden and for the last 12 hours or so, my nose has been running
>like a faucet and my throat hurts.
>
>Peeve:  Rhino viruses.

Peeve: people who point out that they've only suffered for 12 hours, at the
very time when I've just noticed it's been screwing up my life for a full
*week*

Peeve: opportunistic sinus infections, that get you when you're weakened
by an otherwise wimpy cold.

Peeve: driving 100+ miles each way to see my family for Christmas

!Peeve: I'm not a 3 hour flight away any more

Peeve: if I didn't, my brother would probably skip going, and both
grandmothers would be *really* disappointed

Peeve: travelling 100+ miles to see family, and then having *no* voice

Peeve: that I had to *lie* to my gramma - "I don't feel as bad as I sound"

!Peeve: that once you feel this miserable, it's quite unlikely that you're
still contagious.



!Peeve: I feel a little better now.  I guess this serves the purpose
one would expect of alt.vent.spleen


	Bob O'Bob
--
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: Goddam PC Dykes
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 17:13:28 GMT

In <Bzo1Dr.CI7@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) 
writes:

>... she replied "Well, I haven't had men in my space for a long time
>because they tend to be sexist and offensive.  Do you think the men you
>bring home would automatically assume that I'm single because I'm not
>with a man and try to get into my pants?  That's what men do."

Not all of us... some of us stalk our date's roommate, butcher her alive with a
machete, and take her ears as trophies.  I hate it when people 
overgeneralize...

>She got really upset & told me I was a homophobe & that I'd understand
>if I just got together with a woman.

>So I told her that she just needed a good fuck from guy hung like a horse
>to get the bug out of her ass.

Oh, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny... what you should have said was, "Sounds great!  Mind
if I hit on your next date?  Monogamy IS a tool of the patriarchy, you know..."

>Peeve: people who think it's dreadful to stereotype people who have 
>traditionally had LESS rights than they have, but perfectly OK to 
>stereotype people who have traditionally had MORE rights than they
>have.  i mean, when did rejecting people on the basis of gender or
>orientation become the RIGHT thing to do?

Probably not too long after rejecting people for being melanin-challenged 
became the RIGHT thing to do.  X-reference _Malcolm X_, Nietzsche's line about
the consequences of fighting monsters.

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
Newsgroups: alt.peeves