Newsgroups: bit.listserv.fnord-l
Date:         Tue, 29 Sep 1992 19:38:17 EDT
From:         "Daniel A. Foss" <DFOSS@CCVM.SUNYSB.EDU>
Subject:      ABORTION, failure to use, informed consent of fetus to live

That's the first good question I've heard all century, "When does human life
begin?" Been waiting I [deleted] long time. Turns out this was a mistake, a
stupid, stupid mistake. H760@CPC865.EAST-ANGLIA.AC.UK will tell you, pay no
attention to our former, discharged, Paranoid Research Bureau in Little Rock
AR, compacency in the line of duty, fatuity on her shift, and IRREALITY
IMPAIRMENT, viz., just on account of, they don't *like* you in Little Rock AR
does not mean they are gonna let you *out*, H760@CPC865.EAST-ANGLIA.AC.UK will,
I say, verify that I've been mixing it up with the Physical Anthropologists.
AND was betrayed into the unwholesome unholy bargain basement by the Paranoid
nearest and dearest to me, which as a battle-hardened Paranoid I'd anticipated,
what else could happen, and so the bottoms up linearity is, *Speciation is
Known, scientifically, to have occured* circa 3100 BC according to
Mitochondrial DNA. Eve and I got nothing to do with one another. Eve lives in
Great Neck in Prefix County. Who did not like YOUR BEST SHOT any more than you
did. This word salad will be used for DERRIDA@CFRVM concerning What Is Text
anyhow, as they have never bothered to define distinction between word salad
which you generate by software tinker toy and Text. This is not Text.

Speciation occurred circa 3100 BC. It is Known this corresponds to Unification
of Egypt by Narmer or Menes/Aha under ET guidance by means of genuine authentic
crystals on sale in New Age Chachka Shop, Vancouver BC, as described in 100%
recyclable pamphlet, Alien Erector Set For Great Pyramid. 3100 BC is also year,
according to international superstar Andre Gunder Frank who is to be reached at
GUNDERFRANK@ALF.LET.UVA.NL to tell him how cool this idea is, the World System
got booted. And, weren't this enough, Salman Rushdie said in one of those great
bits of trivia that makes him next to only Pynchon to me as almost Bob Dylan of
the novel that Friday, February 23, 3102 BC was the first day of the Kali Yuga,
that's in Midnight's Children.

Surely this all cannot be an accident. Someone was cribbing.

I can wait until doomsday, and I can prophesy same only for My Kind, N=1, not
for you, that is, Them, and there will be no Human Life gonna begin. We clear?

Hit <clear>.

The Rights of the Fetus are these.

Article I.
No fetus is under any obligation to live, will most of the time die of natural
causes, if They slip a note in there about how bad are conditions Outside. Nice
to know. Five fetuses before me found out somehow and became inoperative. Me,
you can't tell me *anything*. "You don't listen!" "Clueless!" The kindest of
what is said to my face. Still, I resort to External Blame, I refuse to Take
Responsibility, and maintain I was Tricked. Not even I could be so stupid,
remember, I found out by how much my mother lied, that my Full Scale IQ was a
mere 104, only *after* I had the PhD, that it was all Impossible to begin with,
no wonder I can't do math like really *smart* entities like Allan Adler.

Article II.
No fetus, having been apprised that a sibling has been born to a mother, in
especiality a Jewish mother, crazed above and beyond the call of duty, may
lawfully refuse to get born, under penalty of death. The penalty for being an
only child of a Jewish, in particularity a crazed Jewish mother, must be death
for the child, the mother, preferably both, or what follows is much worse.

Article III.
The pregnancy of a male who has been impregnated by any means, however it may
have transpired, may not be terminated for any reason, queasy qualms or
morningsickness on the part of the knockedup parent, the same if not worse on
the part of the fetus, or the Community Service Administration as shall be
established for all perpetuity under the regime to be called New Covenant in
the process vindicating the Lost Cause of 1861-1865 after all this time.

To elucidate for benefit of those who tuned in late or missed yesterday's
Episode of Twin Pook, here is the story line as copied from my imaginary
laptop wherefor ballpoint & yellow lined notepaper has been substituted:
>............................................ [My fictitious kid sister Miriam
>was, remember, in Little Rock to sell the Infiniti car ("It's not a car, it's
>it's an aphrodisiac") all over the place hopefully including Governor Bill
>she was to assassinate by turning up the volume on his orgasm from stun to
>kill; Miriam has had silicon with gallium arsenide implants from an AI Expert
>System cosmetic surgeon in Josephson Junction CA. Well, Miriam got knocked up
>and I am to bear her illegitimate child. Not a second too soon at that, for I
>have long maintained that slavery was the only socioeconomic system where I'd
>be allowed to make a living until old enough they'd call me Uncle Rebus, you
>know. Because Governor Bill is going to enslave welfare mothers and other-
>gendered viviaparous parents if he gets in, so he says. WhooooHeeeee!]

[The origins of Miriam go back to 119 Avondale Place, Syracuse NY, when Miriam
sprang full blown from the head of Andrew Pullman self-styled The Grim Reaper
who said, "The trouble with you, Foss, is, you never had a kid sister to beat
up."]

The Grim Reaper, he said the name was for telling Draft Board with successful
4-Ffing, "If I was a baseball fan I'd have changed it to Mickey Mantle." Which
was lies for cheap currying of popularity with Anti-War Movement, this was in
incipient stage of 1969, one year was like another, still is, who cares. I had
this obsessive-compulsive Thing, see, about Truth, on account of I never got to
learn how to do what Eve or Eva, mother of La Princesse Juive Gabrielle, calls
"grown-up things," which is such Thingies like looking like you are working and
believing it even; also, lies. Whatever Dr W says, when he says it, is True,
and she lies and says she believes it for the five seconds it takes till she
*does* believe it, is the secret of successful wifemanship. But this boy could
not, still cannot, learn to lie, thanks to Full Scale IQ of 104, Cerebral
Palsy, lifetime in Solitary, and laziness. So I got this asshole tendency to
get *moralistic* about the Truth.

The Grim Reaper, who was couple years younger, I forget, but my Spiritual
Guide and initiator into Dylan Heremeutics, would raise the Rabinical Finger,
spit out a pistachio nut in the general direction of the bucket, and intone,
"The Truth is True. That's all you can say for it."

The Reaper of the two of us was the Normal one. He had to work at his Deviance.
Which is why it was possible for *him*, not me, to find a wife, "the lovely
Adrienne," he called her, she had these enormous eyes but otherwise skeletally
scrawny, dead, *not* me, who would put in the *work* *work* *work* it had to
take to get him to divest himself of the Deviance so painfully acquired, become
an MWE.

In sociology, MWE is Main Wage Earner who is often found in the same data set
with a PMRCC which is Person Most Responsible for Child Care. 'Tis Quayle's
Will (did I tell you, Dan Quayle is God, well now you know, the idea being,
from my crazy stupid Jewish mother I picked up on that I was God and I am
Retarded and Dan Quayle is at least as Retarded but he has the Force with him
so he is the McCoy) that these be of different genders and Quayle has got
definite ideas which those are on days he can tell right hand from left hand,
but this boy, me, will upset your applecart, dannyboy, Quayle, I mean.

At this time, Andrew Pullman is an attorney employed by the Internal Revenue
Service, and he is very good at what he does, too. Much better than he was as
an epic poet when he wrote Cambyses, King of Persia.

Had a wife and couln't keep her. And another. Anyone who asked, couldn't say
no. Would marry almost anyone, then dropped the almost, and did, twice. And
they even kept my last name, refused to give it back, did not a goddamthing
to earn it.

Look, I got a network to run, this one part of a miniseries, this is all I got
for tonight, all there is ever gonna be lest I sell commercial spot time by
tomorrow morning when It's Morning In America! goes on the air. All the way
whole livelongday throuhg Prime Time, 11 PM news & weather & sports, till we
reach the 11:30 to 1 AM ALPHANUMERICMAN show, I gotta put the programming on
the air so I can watch with my eyes clothed. This Television Network, whose
Flagtaff Station, WTTN@UBVM, Buffalo NY, and many of these same fine TTN
stations, is better than the real thing. I need it.

Daniel [von]Falk[enhausen] Lowenkron