HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel)
Subject: Re: CRAPPY JOKE
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 20:09:55 GMT

In article <92311.123732RK0VSANU@MIAMIU.BITNET> <RK0VSANU@MIAMIU.BITNET> writes
:
>What's brown and sounds like a bell?
>
>Dung.
>
>If you have enjoyed this joke and would like to hear others, just let me
>know.  I'd be only too willing to supply you with the worst jokes on
>the face of the planet, a planet which we Americans will place in the
                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>hands of one Bill Clinton, a man who supposedly will make a BIG difference
>in the next four years.  Utter bullshit.

Right!  As if "we Americans" own it!
Be careful when you criticize America's future President.
Remember that it's unpatriotic to criticize America's
policies ( Republican rhetoric for this past election - not
mine ).

Anyway, I liked the joke (even this time around).

obbadjoke: Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
           A: It was dead.

-Mark
From: andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Deer Jokes
Date: 12 Nov 92 11:52:13 GMT
Organization: Spider Systems Limited, Edinburgh, UK.

In article <BxH8H5.5Ky@inews.Intel.COM> edunn@gomez.intel.com (Edward Dunn) writes:
>What do you call a deer with no eyes?
>No Idea     
>
>What do you call a deer with no eyes and no penis?
>No Fxxxxxx Idea

What do you call a dead deer with no eyes ?

Still no idea.


-- 
|      Andy Cannon       | Sweater, n:                                   |     
| Misplaced Yorkshireman |            A garment worn by a child when its |     
|   Spider Systems Ltd   | mother feels chilly.                          |     
|  andrewc@spider.co.uk  |                     ......And Still the Moon  |    
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: tripunit@jovial.cs.psu.edu (Mahesh V Tripunitara)
Subject: Re: Modern times
Organization: Penn State Computer Science
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 22:41:36 GMT

And from the The Daily Collegian, State College, 10/14/1992 :

Police Log : Animal Complaint -

Andrew Griffey of 741 W. Whitehall Road reported that a squirrel,
whose midsection was bare of fur, was jumping around his porch at about
6:48 Monday evening, State College police said.

The animal was gone when police arrived.

				***
Mahesh.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: ALKIE'S TWIST
From: millerd@brandonu.ca (Dazzle)
Date: 11 Nov 92 22:11:54 CST
Organization: Brandon University, Brandon, Manitoba, Canada


TO FULLY UNDERSTAND THIS SONG YOU MUST SAY THINGS LIKE 26 AND 66 REALLY FAST
(LIKE AS IN ONE SYLABLE),  ALSO IT MUST BE SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "THE TWIST"
ALSO "*" MEANS A BETWEEN THE LINES "GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG"

ALKIE'S TWIST!


COME ON BABY, LETS GO GET PISSED
COME ON BABY, REALLY FUCK'N PISSED
TAKE THAT BEER, AND CHUG IT LIKE THIS
*    (GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG)

CHORUS!

TAKE THAT 26, AND CHUG IT LIKE THIS!
*           (GL GL GL GL)
DOWN ANOTHER, AND WISH YOU HAD SIX!
TAKE THAT BOTTLE, AND CHUG IT LIKE THIS!
*       (GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG)

CHORUS!

GET A 66, AND CHUG IT LIKE THIS! *
STAY OFF THE FLOOR MAN, ITS LOOKING REAL SICK!
BE DAMN  CAREFUL NOW, CAUSE YOU'RE REAL PISSED!


CHORUS (YES ITS HERE)
-
COME ON BABY, LETS GO GET PISSED! *
KEEP ON DRINKIN, TILL OUR EYES TWIST! *
COME ON BABY, LETS GO GET PISSED!  *


ANOTHER FINE BARD'S TUNE FROM:
 SIR GRAY OWL AND HIS FINE SQUIRE DAZ


HEARD IN A SMALL TOWN DURING OUR GREAT ADVENTURES:

"GEE, IF HE PEELS POTATOES WITH HIS WIFE'S RAZOR HE MUST THINK ITS REALLY NEET"



Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: comptec90012@camins.camosun.bc.ca
Subject: Re: JACK AND JILL 
Organization: Camosun College
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 17:55:19 GMT

In article <tyler.brown.63@EMCB.CC.UTAH.EDU>, tyler.brown@EMCB.CC.UTAH.EDU (TYLER JAMES BROWN) writes:
> In article <1992Oct30.222129.2669@brandonu.ca> $ennsnr@brandonu.ca (To be average scares the hell out of me) writes:
> 
>>A jack and jill joke:
> 
>>Jack and Jill went up the hill
>>To smoke a little leaf
>>Jack got high,
>>Pulled down his fly,
>>and Jill said "Where's the beef?"
> 
> Jack and Jill went up the hill
> to have a little fun,
> Jack and Jill forgot the pill
> so now they have a son.

 Jack and Jill went up the hill
 each with a buck and a quarter,
 Jill came down with $2.50
 F*cking sl*t

comptec90012@camins.camosun.bc.ca      |  <include std_disclaim.h>
Greg W Burnham Victoria, B.C., Canada! |
________________________________________________________________________________
     'There's only one differance between people who have a tattoo and
	those who don't...  People who have a tattoo don't care if you
	have one!'

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mbfarah@isluga.puc.cl (MIGUEL BRAXTON FARAH)
Subject: The HACKER TEST v1.1
Organization: Pontificia Universidad Catolica de Chile
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 16:49:11 GMT

Hi everyone again! I've decided to publish version 1.1 of The Hacker
Test myself - the changes will be the following:

1) questions will be numbered in hex - just as it should be...

2) the 0x200 questions will be now 0x200 and not just 0x1FD (remember
   the bug I published?).
   I've decided already what the three new questions will be, but if you
   think that you've got a good one, mail me so I can see it.

3) a history addendum will be added (I hate those morons that change
   things and then don't say who are).

I'm gonna publish this on Thursday 12 (at morning). Remember to mail
me fast!

--
MIGUEL FARAH F.         | Swirdy rd im zrmdsyhr rdvoyp | Vini, vidi, vi
mbfarah@isluga.puc.cl   | rm ytrd ofopzsd fogrtrmyrs u |
                        | oy od rmvtuqyrf. Frvuqjrt oy | E pluribus UNIX
#include <disclaimer.h> | smf upi eoaa hry im qtrzop.  |
From: doug.hewko@synapse.org (Doug Hewko) 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Favorite Quotes
Date: 9 Nov 92 06:26:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: SYNAPSE BBS - GATINEAU, QUEBEC - 819-561-4321
Reply-To: doug.hewko@synapse.org (Doug Hewko) 

From: doug.hewko@synapse.org
To: mattb@ssc-vax.boeing.com 

MB.I'm trying to compile a list of all time favorite quotes
  .to include in a customized fortune/motd program, and I'd
  .like to hear some of the favorites from the net.
  .Thanks

I would have to say that my favorite quote (there are many which I 
thoroughly enjoy) would be:
  "Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity, and in 
cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigors of 
the mind."
  ..the quote was by Leonardo Da Vinci

Not sure if this is helpful, but for some reason I paraphrased that 
quote into:
   "The mind is like a body of water.  Left unused it becomes stagnant 
and dies (and is worthless), but through constant use it supports 
abundant life (and is the most valuable thing in the world)."

               Doug
---
 . 1st 1.01 #574 . There is no such thing as accident; it is fate renamed.
                                                                   
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mzabel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Mark A Zabel)
Subject: Re: limmerick
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 17:03:59 GMT

In article <1992Nov11.204429.2481@wlbr.iipo.gtegsc.com> sievert@wlonex.iipo.gte
gsc.com (Glen Sievertson) writes:
>There once was a woman named Jane
>With a soft and pliable brain.
>When she went to the pool
>At her junior high school
>They used her to plug up the drain.

There once was a woman named Jane
Whos face was exceedingly plain
But down in her cellar
She was a real live-heller
So the boys came again and again
From: gt4719b@prism.gatech.EDU (Dave Frascone)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Cucumbers better than men
Date: 9 Nov 92 19:42:06 GMT
Organization: Georgia Institute of Technology


Could someone please e-mail me the list of "why cucumbers are better than men"


Thanks,


Dave
-- 
gt4719b@prism.gatech.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: 10 reasons why girlfreinds are better
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 92 16:39:11 PST
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b) writes:

>  10 REASONS WHY GIRLFRIENDS ARE BETTER THAN COMPUTERS
> 
>  1. Girlfriends are cheaper to maintain than computers.
Wrong.
> 
>  2.  Girlfriends can become older, but never obsolete.
Oh yes, they can.
> 
>  3.  Computers cannot iron your shirts or make your food.
Neither can she.
> 
>  4.  Cum makes keyboards SOO sticky - and you can't wash them.
Sure you can.  Don't you ever wash that thing?
> 
>  5. Girlfriends function very well during main current breakdowns.
Obviously your girlfriend has never broken a nail.
> 
>  6. When a girlfriend makes an error, it is not ALWAYS your fault.
Not according to her.
> 
>  7. Girlfriends does their own  routine maintenance.
Yeah, right.  "Now I'll never get the smell off those fish."
> 
>  8. Girlfriends' memories do not get accidentally erased.
True, unfortunately.  "You never remember... You said... blablabla"
> 
>  9. Even if you have been awake all night with your girlfriend,
>      your eyes are not necessarily red.
But your nose is.
> 
> 10.  Computers are totally boring in bed.
You have no imagination.
> 
> 
> -- 
> Terje Johansen at Trondheim College of Engineering, Norway.
> 
> Bury me deep. The next generations will be hungry.


--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
From: Mark.Olsen@f550.n635.z3.fidonet.org (Mark Olsen)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Purity Tests
Date: 3 Nov 92 11:57:02 GMT

PD> Ebeneezer Goode (wj_wigna@csd.uwe.ac.uk) wrote:
PD> : 
PD> : I am sending out a request for the named tests, as I have some friends
PD> in 
PD> : Oxford who are almost 'dying' to do them.
PD> : 
PD> : Please send any of these tests to wj_wigna@uk.ac.uwe.csd OR me at
PD> Oxford

Check out alt.sex ... (well not as such), they keep copies or will at least tell
you how to get them... 

cheers...

Mark Olsen
`````````

~~~ TM-QWK GS 0.6 [NR]
 * Origin: Empire BBS +61(3)592-5662 (3 lines) (3:635/550)
From: perry-ethan@cs.yale.edu (Ethan Perry)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: candy bar joke?
Date: 12 Nov 1992 00:53:17 -0500
Organization: Yale University Computer Science Dept., New Haven, CT 06520-2158
NNTP-Posting-Host: peacock.zoo.cs.yale.edu

In article <1992Nov10.202936.17131@menudo.uh.edu> st186@Elroy.UH.EDU writes:
>Has anyone got a copy of the candy bar joke-story about how Mr. Goodbar
>slips his Butterfinger . . . and they have a Baby Ruth?  I'd like a copy
>of it--haven't seen it in years.
>Thanks.
>David
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>	                       ST186@JETSON.UH.EDU
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>		
>		There is a fine line between reason and insanity.

	One Day Mr. Goodbar wanted a Bit O' Honey, so he took Ms. Hershey 
behind the Powerhouse on Clark and 5th Avenue.  He felt her Mounds, and that
was sure Almond Joy and it made his Tootsie Roll.  She screamed "O'Henry!" as 
she squeezed his Peter Paul and Bag Nuts, "You're better than the Three 
Musketeers"  Soon she felt Chunky, nine monthes later she had a Baby Ruth

	Steven
	

Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.folklore.computers,alt.cascade,alt.best.of.internet
From: terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: 10 reasons why girlfreinds are better
Date: 12 Nov 92 20:42:57 GMT
Reply-To: terjej@edb.tih.no
Posting-Front-End: Winix Conference v 92.05.15  1.20 (running under MS-Windows)


 10 REASONS WHY GIRLFRIENDS ARE BETTER THAN COMPUTERS

 1. Girlfriends are cheaper to maintain than computers.

 2.  Girlfriends can become older, but never obsolete.

 3.  Computers cannot iron your shirts or make your food.

 4.  Cum makes keyboards SOO sticky - and you can't wash them.

 5. Girlfriends function very well during main current breakdowns.

 6. When a girlfriend makes an error, it is not ALWAYS your fault.

 7. Girlfriends does their own  routine maintenance.

 8. Girlfriends' memories do not get accidentally erased.

 9. Even if you have been awake all night with your girlfriend,
     your eyes are not necessarily red.

10.  Computers are totally boring in bed.


-- 
Terje Johansen at Trondheim College of Engineering, Norway.

Bury me deep. The next generations will be hungry.
From: stein@hal.nta.no (Stein Kulseth FBA)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Yet Another Indian Chief Joke
Date: 5 Nov 92 15:45:19 GMT
Organization: Norwegian Telecom Research

The indian chief was in town for supplies, among other things he wanted
some toilet paper [BTW, maybe it's called 'tissue', well you know what
I mean...]

"Well this here," says the storekeeper, "is really nice. It's soft,
multilayered, and has beatiful pictures of exotic flowers."

"No, cost too much ," said the chief.

"Well, this is our economy toilet paper, it has only one layer, no
pictures, but you'll get along nicely with it."

"No, cost too much," said the chief.

So the storekeeper thinks real hard, then he goes away and comes back
with a huge roll of brown, hard toilet paper.

"We don't have much demand for this," he says, "so it took me some
time to find it, but this you can get real cheap."

"OK, me buy," says the chief, pays and leaves.


One week later, he returns with the paper and want his money back.

"Well, now," says the storekeeper "aren't you satisfied with your
toilet paper?"

"This not toilet paper," says the chief "This John Wayne!"

"John Wayne?????"

"Is rough, tough, and takes no shit from indians!"

-- 
stein.kulseth@nta.no (Norwegian Telecom Research)
   'When murders are committed by mathematics, they can be solved by
   mathematics. Most of them aren't, and this one wasn't'
   - Nick Charles (Dashiell Hammett's "The Thin Man")
Xref: sparky rec.humor:33685 rec.humor.d:2641 alt.folklore.computers:16174
From: tck@bend.ucsd.edu (Kevin Marcus)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d,alt.folklore.computers
Subject: Re: base -2 arithmetic (was: Re: Trinary)
Date: 12 Nov 92 21:08:54 GMT
Article-I.D.: network.1duh56INNdu2
Organization: Linguistics Department, UCSD
NNTP-Posting-Host: bend.ucsd.edu

In article <3ug2TB6w165w@mertwig.UUCP> xyzzy@mertwig.UUCP (Daniel Drucker) writes:
>souva@aibn58.mpifr-bonn.mpg.de (Ignatios Souvatzis) writes:
>
>> Base -1 might be trouble, but...
>> 
>> You CAN built base -2 arithmetic. 
>> 
>> 0	0
>> 1	1
>> 2	110
>> 3	111
>> 4	100
>> 5	101
>> 6	11010
>> 7	11011
>> 8	11000
>> 9	11001
>> 10	11110
>
>No way. Base means how many different symbols are used, and thats still 2 
>symbols, 0 and 1. Anything less than base 2 is impossible as there is no 
>contrast. 
>
>Daniel Max P. Drucker            | #define SLOGAN Hey! Lets port it to COBOL!
He wasn't even counting in base two correctly....

0      0
1      1
2      10
3      11
4      100
5      101
6      110
7      111
8      1000
9      1001
10     1010
...  Hey, I who says you can only count to 10 on your fingers?  I can 
count to 1,023 with my hands.  Include my toes, and I can go up to a meg
:)
hahah.
From: Alexander.Schwallbach@thedump.UUCP (Alexander Schwallbach)
Sender: FredGate@thedump.UUCP
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Date: 07 Nov 92  16:01:34 EST

 SA>     - Where the men are men, and so are the women
 SA>                                 Isn't that supposed to be

No.... auctly that's what we hope for ><GRIN><



Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: "Christopher E. Hagen" <cehagen@apricot.ucs.indiana.edu>
Subject: I need Bar-room antics!!!!!
Summary: I need bar room antics!
Keywords: Help!
Organization: Computer Science, Indiana University
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 21:31:34 -0500

   I'm looking for cool bar room antics....

 specifically, really cool and funny things you have seen Bars do as
a gimmick or something........

-chris
-- 
* Chris Hagen   "<risco"  *MAIL ME ANYTIME!*         cehagen@ucs.indiana.edu *
* 409 E. 16th St.       The love you take is equal to the love you make      *
* Bloomington, IN  47408                               (812) 334-3098        *
From: labaks@emory.edu (Abraham Song)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: I have Monty Python Scripts!
Date: 7 Nov 92 02:18:51 GMT
Article-I.D.: emoryu1.1338
Organization: Emory University, Atlanta, GA
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3

Dudes and Dudettes!!!! 

I have Monty Python Scripts!!!!


I you want them then just e-mail to me at
labaks@emoryu1.cc.emory.edu

Thanks!
Abraham K. Song, the Doctor
From: alpet@ocf.berkeley.edu (Alex Petrushko)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: No Talking Allowed
Date: 9 Nov 1992 21:53:16 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
NNTP-Posting-Host: whirlwind.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov9.154551.22550@cs.hw.ac.uk> adrian@cs.hw.ac.uk (Adrian Hurt) writes:
>In article <27164@dog.ee.lbl.gov>, prem@prem.lbl.gov (R. Shirdi Prem) writes:
>> In article <1992Nov2.192023.28119@ultb.isc.rit.edu> akn8257@ritvax.isc.rit.edu writes:
>> >       2
>> >Now   x = x + x + x + .... (x times)
>> 
>>	If you're adding "x times", x can only be an integer, 
>>	ie not continuous.
>
>Not true.  Let X = 1.5 :
>         2
>        X  = X * 1 + X * .5
>           = X + v
>
>          2
>       1.5 = 2.25
>           = 1.5 + 0.75
>
>which means
>         v = 0.75
>         v = 0.5 * X
>
>Proof that the original equation also holds when X = 1.3 is left as an
>exercise for the reader.
>
>
>-- 
> "Keyboard?  How quaint!" - M. Scott
>
> Adrian Hurt			     |	JANET:  adrian@uk.ac.hw.cee
> UUCP: ..!uknet!cee.hw.ac.uk!adrian  |  ARPA:  adrian@cee.hw.ac.uk

I am sorry if the answer has already been posted but in case it
wasn't here it is:















 The dilemma can be solved if you would look at the step 
 when the derivatives of both sides are taken. However, the derivative
 of a sum total is not equal to the sum of the derivatives of its 
 components. I.e., (x^2)' is not equal to (x+x+...x (x times))',
 because (x^2)=(x*x) => employing product rule, you get x*(x)'+ 
 (x)'*x = x*1 + 1*x = 2x, not 1*x, as you would have if you would
 differentiate the sum.








Alex.






-- 
"I know that I work for Time-Warner, one of the main purveyors of evil
 in the universe.  The way I see it, sometimes you have to rot the
 infrastructure from within." -Al Jourgensen

Xref: sparky rec.humor:33403 alt.folklore.computers:16016
From: osiris@ucrengr.ucr.edu (Mark Radleigh)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: News of the Weird, again
Date: 11 Nov 92 00:02:02 GMT
Distribution: usa

In article <1992Nov6.070146.4624@verifone.com> darrin_d1@verifone.com writes:
> Another good story from the San Jose Mercury News "News of the Weird".
> 
> The Memphis (Tenn.) Zoo recently kicked off "Dinosaurs Live" - an exhibit of
> computerized, mechanical replicas of the creatures that became extinct.  As  
of
> early September, according to zoo official Ann Ball, six people had asked for
> refunds for the $2.50 admission price upon learning that the exhibit did not
                                                           ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> feature real dinosaurs.
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 

	Now THAT's a fine example of 6 people with brains.  They must of 
graduated from my high school.              
-- 

Mark Radleigh
osiris@cs.ucr.edu
Send Flames to: satan@hell.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: NO FLAMES PLEASE!
From: millerd@brandonu.ca (Dazzle)
Date: 11 Nov 92 22:06:26 CST
Organization: Brandon University, Brandon, Manitoba, Canada

JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL
BECAUSE THEIR CONTRACTOR TOLD THEM TO!
JACK BANGED JILL FOR HIS FILL
AND THE WRITTERS ROLLED DOWN THE HILL WITH LAUGHTER?



JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL 
TO FILM A NEW WAVE PORN-O
JACK COULDN'T GET STIFF
JILL WAS LOOSE AS A SKIFF
AND NOW THEY'VE GOT NO SHOW!

JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL
TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN!
JACK LAID JILL AND JILL LAID JACK
NEED WE SAY MORE?


JACK AND JILL WENT TO SEE BILL\
HE WAS SUCH A GOOD FLASHER
JACK WANTED TO BASH HER
BUT NOW HER BUSH IS FLAT!


KNOCK KNOCK!
NOBODY HOME!\


KNOCK KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
GUESS WHO?
YES
WHO?
GUESS WHO!
WHO?
RIGHT!
WHAT?
NO HE PLAYS FIRST BASE!
WHO
YEA RIGHT!
NO HE PLAYS LEFT!
I THINK I'M GOING CRAZY!!!
NO, HE PLAYS SOCCER!
(FIGURE THAT!)


ANOTHER FINE BARD'S TALE FROM:

SIR GREY OWL AND HIS SQUIRE DAZ



-- 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

|-------\       /------\      |----------|   
|  ----  |     / /----\ \     |________  |
| |    | |    |  |    |  |            /  |
| |    | |    |  |____|  |           /  / 
| |    | |    |          |          /  /
| |    | |    |  |----|  |         /  /
| |    | |    |  |    |  |        /  / 
| |    | |    |  |    |  |       /  /
|  ----  |    |  |    |  |      |  ---------|
|_______/     |__|    |__|      |___________|


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mxg5077@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Subject: Re: Mommy Mommy
Reply-To: mxg5077@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 03:50:44 GMT

	A purely immigrant joke:
Kid: Mommy, mommy, how far is America?
Mommy: Shut up and keep rowing.

- Bystander
From: aas7@po.CWRU.Edu (Andrew A. Spencer)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: joke...
Date: 9 Nov 92 01:28:09 GMT
Reply-To: aas7@po.CWRU.Edu (Andrew A. Spencer)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc5.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, rhorwood@nyx.cs.du.edu (lucifer) says:

>
>
>A Man is driving home from work one day,  and he see's that a fun fair
>has been set up at the side of the road near his home.  He decides that
>
>his son would probably enjoy going, so he informs his son of the news.
>HIs son is over the moon, and asks his dad if they can take the new car.
>"Can we go in t' prefect dad?" he says looking up (he is a small boy)
>"Well....I  donn't know son, I'm taking you to the fair..."
>[thinks about it for a bit] "well, alright"
>So they get into the car, and drive off to the fair...
>upon arrival at the fair, the little boy spots the ferris wheel.
>"Dad," he says "What's that?"
>"It's a ferris wheel son, a ride you go on.."
>"can I have a go dad?" he asks
>"well i dont know son, I've taken you to t' fair, youve had a ride in 
>t' prefect" [thinks again for a bit]  "Well, alright"
>So his son gets onto the ferris wheel, and is having the time
>of his life.  Finally it comes to a stop.  The father is about to leave
>and the son sees the side shows.
>"dad, what's this,m"he says , pointing to the shooting gallery
>"It's a shooting gallery son, you have four shots and if you hit
>a duck with all four shots you win a prize"
>"ohh- can I have a go dad?" he says, with his eye on the prizes.
>"Well, i don't know son, I taken ye to the fair, youve had a ride in t'
>prefect, youve had a ride on the ferris wheel" [thinks, noting that his son
>is perhaps getting a little cheeky, spending all his money] "well, alright"
>BANG BANG BANG BANG !. the smoke clears, and all the ducks are down.
>He's won a prize, and it's an enormous white bear
>"What are you going to call it son?" says the father.
>SOn thinks for a while....
>"Umm, Toss" he says.
>"That's a rather strange name  son.." says the father.
>But try as he might, the boy insists on calling the bear "Toss".
>When they finally get back to the car, they find that "toss" is 
>too large to fit in the car, so they tie him to the roof.  On the return
>journey, the car passes under a low bridge, knocking the toy of the
>roofrack.
>Son turns round and says with dismay "DAd, TOSS 'S OFF"
>"Well I don't know son........."
>
>
>Please excuse my lack of typing skills and editor use.  I have used
>telnet to get her, and it's too slow to bother          ^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
har!..nice one!

 

>Rich.
DREW
-- 
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????-----whatever!
From: dfm2@jaguar.uofs.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re;Life 3.P II.iii.v
Date: 6 Nov 92 21:09:47 GMT
Organization: University of Scranton

>There is no limit to the amount of people can do if they seek the credit
>                                    -Anonymous
(paraphrased from memory)

O sure that's easy for HER to say!!
Newsgroups: rec.humor