From: B645ZAW@UTARLG.UTA.EDU (Stephen Tice)
Newsgroups: talk.politics.misc
Subject: US Election Results (Regional Ministers)
Date: 11 Apr 92 03:03:00 GMT


       ===   Dan Quayle Re-elected as National President   ===

"Vows to continue expert management of the federal Treasury, State, and
Defense Departments. Will gladly leave domestic governance to the newly
elected regional administrators, and stick to global concerns. The late
president Bush would have been proud to see his protege's success."

       ===   Election Results for New Regional Ministers   ===

West Coast     NorthWest      South          New          Florida
(& Pacific)    (& Alaska)     West           South        (& Caribbe)
-----------    ----------     -----------    ---------    -----------
Jerry          Andre          J. Ross        Ted          H. Norman
Brown          Marrou         Ewing          Turner       Schwarzkopf


New            Great          Central        New          New
England        Lakes          States         York         Columbia
-----------    -----------    -----------    ---------    ------------
Paul           Pat            Jean           Mario        Doug
Tsongas        Schroeder      Kirkpatrick    Cuomo        Wilder


It should prove interesting to see which Minister's policies will put
them in the forefront of the pack -- for the next Presidential race.

The "environmental foreign trade protection" policies of Minister
Brown will be hard pressed to show clear "quality of life" improve-
ments over the "Yankee Trader" policies of Minister Tsongas... though
considerable "back door" access to foreign goods will be available via
the Northwest. Northwestern small business entrepreneur's stand to
make a hefty profit from daily commerce with West Coast visitors in
search of "free goods." Minister Brown has said, "It doesn't matter,
they'll have to pay for all the test's to check out anything they
want to bring back anyway, including health check ups." The intra-
national free trade guarantees do not govern health and public safety
requirements of the regions. The state of Northern California is
pushing for a regional referendum to overturn the embargo against Mexico.

Meanwhile, an intriguing counterpoint is unfolding in the new gulf 
islands region, where Minister Schwarzkopf's "Air War on Drugs" continues 
to gain volunteer enlistees with several new regiments of Gray Panthers 
already formed. Minister Schwarzkopf has marshalled near unanimous support
from the largest and most influential sector is the state and southern
islands, by directly catering to the pensioners.

Vice Minister Bill Bennet's new educational inter-network, connecting
Florida's retirees directly up to school classrooms, (via national
computer bulletin board systems), has been strongly lauded as means of
providing meaningful teaching assistance and direct guidance to the
region's children. Besides small monetary stipends for the "Gramps",
this new program offers a way to overcome the loneliness and isolation
that often comes with old-age, while at the same time providing the
lessons of real experience directly back to the next generation. Strong
opposition is anticipated from the National Teachers Union -- who has
endorsed the "classroom communes" program adopted in the West Coast,
New England, New York, and Columbia.

In Columbia, Minister Wilder narrowly defeated challenger Pat
Buchanan, who had garnered support from DC Governor Jackson just
before the run-off. Minister Wilder expressed misgivings with the
bi-yearly relocation of the seat of the federal government, suggesting
an alternate program to connect the Blue Ridge Mountain communities
with DC via mag-lev-rail. President Quayle, responding to Minister
Wilder's proposal, has said he looks forward to living in Denver for a
few years, before the next relocation to Chicago. Reporters overheard
him comment that he's relieved LA was not chosen as 2nd in the
rotation. (LA is scheduled for 6th in the sequence following New
Orleans.) Pat Buchanan authored the move while DC senator.

A final announcement: Congressional Representatives will continue to
meet in joint national session by teleconference from 2-5 pm CST each
day from the regional seats; Electronic Townhall results will be
finalized at such times in preparation for new business each evening.

-- Sdt --    Q: "Huhnh?"   A: Distributed Government.  (-=