HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jeffo@uiuc.edu (J.B. Nicholson-Owens)
Subject: Re: Ron Popeil and the Cocaine Woman on healthy food additives
Reply-To: jeffo@uiuc.edu (J.B. Nicholson-Owens)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 04:15:23 GMT

Philip A. Petrocelli writes
> EASILY!!!!  That liquid smoke shit must take five years off your life 
> as soon as u get it to the CHECKOUT COUNTER!!!

I've been told that Liquid Smoke is "A natural product produced by  
condensing the smoke from burning green hickory wood."  However, since  
most areas are polluted with automobile exhaust and industrial smoke  
waste, I'd say that what is condensed from these trees goes into the  
Liquid Smoke bottles, and thus makes Liquid Smoke not something totally  
natural.

However, the Ronco ad does say that brown sugar is a suitable  
replacement for Liquid Smoke.  Yet, even if the brown sugar you use is  
100% natural, there are plenty of "unpronounceables" in the soy sauces  
sold at my local grocer, so I'd guess that there's some unnatural stuff  
in the soy sauce used in the ad.
-- 
-- Jeff (jeffo@uiuc.edu)
-- NeXTmail welcome
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: millerje@CS.ColoState.EDU (Jeff Miller)
Subject: Blueblockers (was Re: topics for discussion)
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 04:25:44 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Colorado State University, Computer Science Department

Has anyone ever bought these? Do they work as good as those people (and the
SF cable car company) swear they do?

-- 
 _____________________________________________________________________________
|                                                                             |
| "Nuke the unborn gay whales!" |  millerje@cs.colostate.edu  |  Jeff Miller  |
|_____________________________________________________________________________|
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: gerald.b.ross@um.cc.umich.edu (Gerald Ross)
Subject: Playboy's Hot Air Balloon Videos
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.14 by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: gerald.b.ross@um.cc.umich.edu (Gerald Ross)
Organization: University of Michigan Math Dept
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 21:29:09 GMT

I saw a new one (for me that is) this morning. It was
Playboy's "How to Make Love Kit" or something like that.

For 3 easy payments of $19.95 you get 2 VCR tapes:
        "The Secrets of Making Love"
        "Playboy's Art of Sensual Massage"

A bottle of cheap perfume and some fragrant slippery
stuff you're supposed to rub on your partner's (boy if
you are a girl. Girl if you are a boy) body.

The excerpts from the tapes (edited for TV and FOR ADULTS
ONLY) show happy, fit couples engaging in spontaneous
playful flirting, nuzzling and rooting. The announcer
said the tapes are produced in the "Playboy Style".
To me this means gravity defying, volley-ball like, silicon
filled orbs of the non-moving variety.

I think maybe this package is aimed at male consumers ;-).

The host of the show said that you are supposed to
watch these tapes "with someone you love". But, the voice
over at the end said it's ok to watch them alone.

--
==============================================================
=
= Gerald Ross
=
=     ...It's 1992.  So where's my jetpack?
=
==============================================================


Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: gerald.b.ross@um.cc.umich.edu (Gerald Ross)
Subject: Flowbee Flowbee, Who's got a Flowbee?
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.14 by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: gerald.b.ross@um.cc.umich.edu (Gerald Ross)
Organization: University of Michigan Math Dept
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 19:31:08 GMT

Anyone got a Flowbee? Do they work (wok)?

--
==============================================================
=
= Gerald Ross
=
=     ...It's 1992.  So where's my jetpack?
=
==============================================================


Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: q482@hosp.med.umich.edu (AV)
Subject: Re: topics for discussion
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.14 by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: q482@hosp.med.umich.edu (AV)
Organization: University of Michigan Math Dept
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 21:32:53 GMT


>    If you can think of any more,
> please post them, I'd like to keep
> track of as many of these things
> as possible...


What about Auri?  You can set it on fire!
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 19:22:34 EST
From: <ESV@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: Re: topics for discussion
Distribution: na
 <1992Nov18.023144.23470@samba.oit.unc.edu>

In article <1992Nov18.023144.23470@samba.oit.unc.edu>,
Eli.Mantel@launchpad.unc.edu (Eli Mantel) says:
>
>This group is already 3 days old, and (at least here) we only have two
>articles.  There should be plenty of stuff to discuss here:
>
>        Has anyone compiled a canonical list of "Amazing Discoveries"
>         episodes?

Well, its been a little while since I've had cable
(TCI and I had a biiig argument, TCI won...)
so these are coming from memory:

       Auri  (now available in Walmart)
       Finish 2000
       Picture This
       The "Electric Dynamo"
       The furniture stripper stuff
       The math wizard and his tapes
       The fake stain glass stuff
       The "poofy clothing" kit

       and who could forget:
       Didi Seven
       BlueBlockers
       The SnackMaster
       The "Hand Hammered Wok"
       The "Jet Stream Oven"
       The Food dehydrator
       The Bamix (aka The Daily)
       The Flowbee

       Some oldies but goodies:
       The original Ginsu knife
       The new and improved Ginsu 2000
       Popeet (food storage containers)
       Armour Kote II  (non-stick cookware)
       Multi Wrench (replaces those Gotcha! wrenches)
       The Vitamix (mmmm, vegetable soup and then
                    home-made ice-cream with only
                    a quick rinse in-between)
       NuVinyl and NuFinish
       The Turbo Jet car washer
       Tarn-X
       Various Cubic Zirconia jewelry
       Various vinyl repair kits

       some real oldies:
       The RONCO in-the-egg scrambler
                 smokeless ashtray
                 automagic record vacuum
                 glass froster
                 automagic potato peeler

   If you can think of any more,
please post them, I'd like to keep
track of as many of these things
as possible...

Andrew Coll       ESV@PSUVM.BITNET
                  ESV@PSUVM.PSU.EDU
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: tjf2b@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU (Timothy Fox)
Subject: Re: hair cut machine (was Re: Blueblockers (was Re: topics for discussion))
Organization: University of Virginia
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 00:04:11 GMT

lagman@CS.ColoState.EDU  writes:
> In article <1992Nov18.153314.10921@mcs.anl.gov> hoffberg@medusa.aps.anl.gov (Mike G. Hoffberg) writes:
> >When I first saw Wayne's World, I thought the hair cut machine was
> >really funny.                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> 
> 	That would be a "Flowbee", and yes, this is my absolute
> 	favorite infomercial.  I have this fantasy of ordering 
> 	one, throwing a party and cutting everyone's hair, then
> 	returning it for my money back.  I haven't seen Wayne's
> 	World - how do they use this in the movie?

Wayne and Garth host an episode of "Wayne's World" (before
the show is bought and corrupted by Rob Lowe, the Evil
Television Producer) in which the featured guest is the
inventor of the "Suck Cut." It's a dead-on parody of the
Flowbee, except it looks like the Suck Cut is a more
sophisticated device -- the business end of it is HUGE
and apparently quite heavy, so one would assume that a
Suck Cut user need not own the canister vacuum cleaner
necessary to operate a Flowbee.

The inventor applies the Suck Cut to Garth's shaggy head 
(much to Garth's vocal dismay), and Garth appears to be
in great pain as his hair is pulled into the machine.

When the inventor looks pointedly at Wayne, who is
gleefully watching the spectacle, Wayne has to agree:
"It sucks, and it cuts," he says to the camera with 
classic infomercial sincerity.

The inventor is then dismissed from the set, looking
confused. He is unaware that he's been made the brunt of
a joke in front of thousands(?) of public access cable
viewers.

Tim
--
					    Timothy Fox |
			tjf2b@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU |
				     tjf2b@Virginia.EDU |
							|
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: pugh@pico.math.ucla.edu (David Pugh)
Subject: Re: Tom Vu - the Godfather! Sender:  olaf@casbah.acns.nwu.edu
Organization: UCLA Mathematics Department
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 23:08:12 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.224222.3026@news.acns.nwu.edu> olaf@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Jeffrey William) writes:
>Hey, is Tom Vu still running those ads?  I haven't seen one in years it seems
>like, and I'll be home next week-end, so I can cable all night long looking
>for him?

The last I heard he was being investigated for possible fraud. Don't know
what came of it. He was quite a guy.

"Look at your life. You're in a dead end job working from 9 to 5 for
nothing. You have two choices in life. Carry on as you are or BE LIKE ME!!
Learn how to make money. Come to the Tom Vu seminar."

Classic stuff.

Did any netters ever go?


--
|-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-|
   David Pugh,  UCLA,  CA         |     Hot Dog, Jumping Frog
   pugh@math.ucla.edu             |     Albuquerque  -  Prefab Sprout
|-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-|
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: wab@well.sf.ca.us (Doc Benzene)
Subject: Re: jet stream oven
Organization: Hell Hole, Inc.
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 08:23:43 GMT


I want to know just *how fat* that guy is who sells those
things.  I mean, if it cooks food so fast 'n tasty you turn
into a bloated pig, I don't want one.
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: Eli.Mantel@launchpad.unc.edu (Eli Mantel)
Subject: topics for discussion
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 02:31:44 GMT

This group is already 3 days old, and (at least here) we only have two
articles.  There should be plenty of stuff to discuss here:

	Has anyone compiled a canonical list of "Amazing Discoveries"
	 episodes?
	What are the best cable channels and times to watch for
	 infomercials?
	Product reviews of infomercial products
	Knockoffs of infomercial products available in your
	 local drugstore:  Are they any good?
	Infomercial personalities
	Tips on getting paid for your suggestions to infomercial
	 producers
	Infomercials in eastern Europe
	Tripartite conspiracy to control infomercials: real or imagined?

Folks, this is only the tip of the iceberg.  Let's get our act together
and use plenty of network bandwidth to discuss this vital aspect of our
culture.
				Eli Mantel (eli.mantel@launchpad.unc.edu)
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
From: wkirkpat@javelin.sim.es.com (THE Wademeister)
Subject: Hero Worship
Reply-To: wkirkpat@javelin.sim.es.com
Organization: Evans & Sutherland Computer Corp.
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 18:23:21 GMT

A.Robbins in infomercial GOD
                        -wade-
-- 
"If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure"..V.P Dan Quayle....... 
 Let me say I am some say anyway a vary poor speller, I know what you are..... 
thinking,gee I hardly noticed but its true....|\\w//|.........................
.............OWNER..GRAVE DIGGERS.............................................
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 11:48:39 EST
From: Rami Zwick <R1Z@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.infomercials
Subject: Discussion group about advertisement?

Anybody knows of a form to discuss advertisement in general? (alt.tv.ad??)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rami Zwick                                    Tel: (814) 865-9306
Department of Marketing                       Fax: (814) 865-3015
The Pennsylvania State University             Bitnet:   R1Z@PSUVM
University Park, PA 16802-3007                Internet: R1Z@PSUVM.PSU.EDU
From: sichase@csa2.lbl.gov (SCOTT I CHASE)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.dinosaurs
Subject: Re: Barney and Friends
Date: 16 Nov 1992 12:39 PST
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory - Berkeley, CA, USA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.254.197
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    

In article <1992Nov14.180811.10571@umbc3.umbc.edu>, cs202144@umbc8.umbc.edu (cs202144) writes...
>> Does anyone know if Barney and Friends will do a live show.  My 4 1/2
>> year old son just loves it.  He can watch 6 or more episodes on tape
>> every day.  There is so much Barney merchandise on the market, so I'm
>> wondering if there is a live tour.  Thank you very much.
> 
>Pardon my ignorance, but since this is a Dinosaurs sub I hope you don't mind
>if I ask who the heck (or what the heck?) is Barney?

Obviously a man/woman without children...

Barney is a purple dinosaur who stars in a PBS show for children in the U.S.
He's the latest craze for the under 7-years-of-age crowd.  I think that the
original poster was confused by the name of this group, and thought that we
would all know the about Barney.

-Scott  
--------------------
Scott I. Chase			"It is not a simple life to be a single cell,
SICHASE@CSA2.LBL.GOV		 although I have no right to say so, having
				 been a single cell so long ago myself that I 
				 have no memory at all of that stage of my 
				 life." - Lewis Thomas
Newsgroups: alt.tv.dinosaurs
From: kenk@sdc.com (Ken Konecki)
Subject: Re: Barney and Friends
Organization: Systems Development Corporation
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 17:21:51 GMT

In article <1992Nov14.180811.10571@umbc3.umbc.edu> cs202144@umbc8.umbc.edu (cs202144) writes:
>> Does anyone know if Barney and Friends will do a live show.  My 4 1/2
>> year old son just loves it.  He can watch 6 or more episodes on tape
>> every day.  There is so much Barney merchandise on the market, so I'm
>> wondering if there is a live tour.  Thank you very much.
>
>Pardon my ignorance, but since this is a Dinosaurs sub I hope you don't mind
>if I ask who the heck (or what the heck?) is Barney?


He's a stuffed toy Dinosaur in a day care center that comes to
life and entertains the children.  The show is aired locally on
our PBS station.  As the original poster mentioned, it's quite a
popular show.

Cheers,
    -Ken K
-- 
Ken Konecki
e-mail:kenk@sdc.com    -or-    ...!uunet!tellab5!sdc!kenk
"Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery"
Newsgroups: alt.tv.dinosaurs
From: bturner@hpcvusc (Bill Turner)
Subject: Re: Barney and Friends
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 21:25:34 GMT

> > Does anyone know if Barney and Friends will do a live show.
> 
> Pardon my ignorance, but since this is a Dinosaurs sub I hope you don't mind
> if I ask who the heck (or what the heck?) is Barney?

"Barney and Friends" is a children's show, featuring Barney, a dinosaur.

Unfortunatly, this group is set up for discussion of the TV show
"Dinosaurs" (the Disney/Henson show on ABC) rather than generic TV
dinosaur shows.  Simple names provide simple problems.

[Obligitory "Dinosaurs" posting:  What did people think of the last show
(where Robbie was dating Richfield's daughter)?  I think Robbie's come
up in the "picking up girls" world, the pet shop was a great idea....
And I liked the "Parental Radar" that Richfield had ("the latest in
technology for overprotective parents.").]

--Bill Turner (bturner@cv.hp.com)
HP User Interface Technology Division, Corvallis
From: CCS105@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.meditation.transcendental
Subject: 1000 leaf locust.
Date: 23 Nov 92 20:41:45 GMT
Organization: Penn State University

I have a 1000 leaf locust pattern...this seems strange for a 22 yr.old..
It seems strange to me...My question is, what to do next...what does this
mean...I have been in yoga for a while...and by no means am I a master...
yet anyway...heck, i still cant do some of the moves...
let me know your feelings on this.

smitty
Newsgroups: alt.meditation.transcendental
From: tse@foolish.apple.com (Gary Tse)
Newsgroups: alt.rodney-king
Subject: Re: he deserved it
Date: 19 Nov 92 18:38:43 GMT
Organization: Raoul Duke School of Pharmacology and Journalism

In article <1992Nov18.102911.16922@hellgate.utah.edu> galt%peruvian.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu writes:
>In article <92322.215152U53487@uicvm.uic.edu>, <U53487@uicvm.uic.edu> writes:
>>They [the police] shot
>>him twice (maybe 3x?) with a damn tazer!  I horse wouldn't be conscious after
>>that.  
>
>This is something I keep wondering about...  The cops and a bunch of other
>people keep saying that King was shot wth a tazer 2-3 times and that that 
>would knock a horse out.  Somehow this is supposed to show that King was
>mean and violent or superhuman.  One of the cops said that it proved King
>was on PCP.  Wait a minute here...  The way I understnd it, the effect tazers
>have on you is a completely physical effect, going straight to your nervous
>system.  PCP alters your perceptions, but can't keep you moving when your
>nervous system has shut down.  Being mean and violent is a state of mind and
>shouldn't matter if your nervous system is shut down.  
>
>It would seem to me that this suggests that the tazer did not function
>correctly or was used incorrectly, or possible King was protected by thick
>clothing.

I haven't seen this mythical preamble to the Rodney King beating tape.
Several people have claimed that King survived being hit with a tazer a
couple of times.  Is that true?  That would be pretty impressive, if it
were true.  So is it reasonable for a policeman to be worried facing
such a person?  Is it reasonable for 5 policeman to be worried?  For 20
policeman?  (I would imagine the police care much more about injury
among their own ranks than the capture of (let alone injury to) Rodney
King.  Is *that* a reasonable attitude?) Is it reasonable to expect the
police, after witnessing King's alleged feat of endurance, to be able to
appreciate the difference between the psychedelic effect of PCP and the
physical effect of tazers?  Remember, things were happening in
real-time, and they did not have minutes, let alone days or months, to
consider the difference.  If the police were actually convinced King was
in some enhanced physical state from the effect of drugs, is it then
reasonable for them, with their vast superiority of number, to subdue
King in such a vicious manner?

(Me, I think King must be Superman.  King was really pushing the car
when the police clocked it. :-)

-- 
Gary Tse, tse@Apple.COM		"The fascination of what's difficult",
(408) 862-5452  		    The wish to do what one's not done before,
				Is the proper card to show at Heaven's door.
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Tuesday, 17 Nov 1992 21:51:52 CST
From: <U53487@uicvm.uic.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.rodney-king
Subject: Re: he deserved it
 <BxMBBD.34s@ulowell.ulowell.edu> <1992Nov13.073818.28622@ugle.unit.no>

In article <1992Nov13.073818.28622@ugle.unit.no>, pasand@Mari.Unit.NO (Per Annar
Sandaune) says:
>
No, the violence is justified by HIS violence.  I'm sick of all these damn
whiners saying the police shouldn't have acted the way they did.  They shot
him twice (maybe 3x?) with a damn tazer!  I horse wouldn't be conscious after
that.  Of course, it would have been a whole hell of a lot easier if they had
just shot him -- there woulnd't have been as much whining.
>In article <BxMBBD.34s@ulowell.ulowell.edu>, mryan@cs.ulowell.edu (Mark Ryan)
>writes:
>|> >Just out of any curiousity, have any of you reading this ever
>|> >seen the whole tape?  If so, can you post a response?
>|>
>|>
>|> I have seen the whole tape and agree that the police were well within there
>|> rights.
>|>
>|>
>|>
>
>
>Then I guess that the kicking and beating in one part of the video is
>outwighed
>by the non-violent part of it??
>
>THAT IS NO EXCUSE.
>
>
>
>
>Sandis,
>
>Norway
Newsgroups: alt.rodney-king
From: galt%peruvian.cs.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu (Greg Alt)
Subject: Re: he deserved it
Date: 18 Nov 92 10:10:40 MST
Followup-To: alt.rodney-king
Reply-To: galt%peruvian.utah.edu@cs.utah.edu
Organization: University of Utah, CS Dept., Salt Lake City

In article <1992Nov17.222502.24276@athena.mit.edu>, grisha@athena.mit.edu (Grigory Golberg) writes:
>In his article, Greg Alt (or is it Greg Ctrl? :-) writes:
>Very funny. I personally think that the police *should* be given more 
>rights. Why is it that this whole bunch of liberals out there screams
>and shouts if a lowlife like king is even touched - I am not talking
>even about the attempts to *restrain* him - but when a cop dies
>protecting their lives (which are probably not worth it) from a 
>bullet or a knife of some creep, no one is making a big deal out 
>of it?

What you want to give to police is not "rights" but powers.  By giving
police new powers, you are giving more power to the government, and
taking away rights from everyone.  What new powers do you want to
give to police officers?  And remember, in a free society where 
everyone is innocent till proven guilty, cops generally only associate
with "innocent" people.  If you give police expanded powers to beat or 
kill people, those powers will be applied to people like you as well
as the "creeps" you spoke of.

Why do I make a bigger deal about cops killing civillians than civillians
killing cops?  Because a cop is being paid with my tax dollars, and
because bloodthirsty civillians are much less dangerous than bloodthirsty
cops.  

If a bloodthirsty civillian tries to attack me with a knife, I have 
the right to defend myself.  If a bloodthirsty cop attacks me,
I have two choices, let him kill me, or defend myself.  If I defend
myself, I will be charged with killing a police officer and likely
be given the death penalty.  Since I have no ability to physically
defend myself against a cop, it is necessary to defend myself by 
limiting police power.
Newsgroups: alt.rodney-king
From: dash@skyy.NoSubdomain.NoDomain (O.P.P)
Subject: Re: he deserved it
Reply-To: dash@skyy.b30.ingr.com
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 22:18:41 GMT

In article <BxMBBD.34s@ulowell.ulowell.edu>, mryan@cs.ulowell.edu (Mark Ryan) writes:
|> >Just out of any curiousity, have any of you reading this ever
|> >seen the whole tape?  If so, can you post a response?
|> 
|> 
|> I have seen the whole tape and agree that the police were well within there
|> rights.
|> 
|> 
|> 
   Of course, as defined by our Supreme Court Jurist Clarence Thomas,
   they were probablly only trying to extract a confession. 
   Cruel, and unusual, nah....


   And as for that poor shmuck in Detroit who got himself killed by the
   police,  Why didn't he pull his drivers license out with two fingers 
   instead of his whole hand.  Police get killed every day with thrown 
   plastic driver's license i.d. cards....  Of course, I wasn't there, 
   so the COPS will no doubt say he was resisting arrest.  

   NOTE: They made sure no video cameras were around this time.
         were around this time..



                                         O.P.P
Newsgroups: alt.rodney-king