HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: Morrisa_Sherman@autodesk.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: best in bed
Date: 18 Aug 92 18:50:00 GMT

Among the good rules are, anything I have to say that put's a re: in the 
subject line is not really worth saying.  But it's my birthday, and 
today I am on vacation from my rules, and this topic amuses me greatly.   

As to the suggestion that we place all the t.b women in bed and let us 
fight it out, no problem here.  Dibs on the spot between Saltgirl and 
Gypsy.

And if Drew Barrymore can somehow read this, Drew, you are so hot. Get 
in the car, little girl, I'm a friend of your mother's.  

As to who is the best lay on t.b among the women, no idea, but I bet I'm 
the noisiest.  

Among the men, I would have to definitely say that it isn't nj.  Nope.  
Not by any stretch of the imagination.  Don't let my satisfied grin fool 
you; it's an act.  Nor the way I cannot keep my hands off his luscious 
frame, I just do that to make him think I still want him.  Really. I 
can't bear the sight of his exquisite face. No, I can't. I just want him 
for his money. You don't want to bother to try him out.  Honest.  He is 
not in the slightest bit fabulous. He is nowhere near delectable, or 
magnificent, or delightful. I can quit any time I want to.  I have been  
known to go 3 minutes at a time without thinking of him.  He's not worth 
it. Unh uh.  Nein. Nyet.  You wouldn't like to sleep with him.  He's 
just my cross to bear, so pity me.

A related opinion: A sun, Sho, Ranjit, and Mr. X are all dreadfully 
cute, yes they are, oh indeed, and the best hair award is a definite tie 
between Corey Liss and James Woodyatt and their respective long, silky, 
golden tresses, with second place going to bc's rich, dark, curling 
locks and honorable mention to Drieux who's face and head are a 
continuous, wrap-around, tangling jungle o' auburn.  

Morrisa 
(There will be no Re:'s in my headers until my next birthday, honest) 
Sherman, MorrisaS%Autodesk.com

Everybody Sing!  Yom huledet sameach!  Yom huledet sameach!   Yom 
huledet shel Morrisa!  Yom huledet sameach!


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Subject: Re: LSD: the early days
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 92 02:46:43 GMT


In a previous article, rone@alcor.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri) says:
                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>anagram THIS, Polewka

 rone@alcor.usc.edu --
***************************
  USE, Corporal Dunce!!!     (@=p)
  U need crap colours!!!
***************************
  READ, raucous clone!!!     (@=a)
***************************

-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.alien.visitors
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: George Herbert Walker Bush is from a Planet far far away
Followup-To: misc.misc,misc.jobs.offered.entry,misc.test,alt.test
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 16:01:24 GMT


I just heard it from my source, who is beaming down radio waves of pleasant
healing frequencies as well as extensive information and news from the star
A-13 (as they call it) which is in the constellation Cygnus to us here on
earth. Anyway, he confides to me that George Bush is an alien, he came here
after being exiled from A-13. He is a reckless egomaniac, and plans to 
destroy earth and enslave the entire milky way galaxy.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov ( Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: best in bed, best in space, best for the needs of his countrymen
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 23:07:51 GMT

In article <OSA.92Aug16203547@wilbur.unh.edu> osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:
>
>   Right down the street from where I live is Domino's Pizza.  Did they
>   used to be DG? 

I suspect so.  This would explain why I opened an Eclipse S/140 the other
day and found an old pizza inside.
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Jeff Davidson)
Subject: Go to the State Fair
Keywords: buns
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 13:36:34 GMT

Distribution: world


I just got into work. We have the ability to pick up Q-95 out of Indianapolis  
over the cable TV wire. What are they talking about? --- the State Fair.
It seems that if you go to the State Fair here in Indiana, you can get a free  
prostate exam. The mind boggles at the thought of the appearance of the booth.
--
************************************************************************
 the Lost Cause                       jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
(hardwaire guy extraordinaire)       MACTech,NeXTtech; NeXTmail accepted
                      "Everything is relative."
************************************************************************
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@netcom.com (richh)
Subject: Re: Go to the State Fair
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 92 05:43:46 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Keywords: buns

jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Jeff Davidson) writes:

>It seems that if you go to the State Fair here in Indiana, you can get a free  
>prostate exam. The mind boggles at the thought of the appearance of the booth.
>--
Done that.
All during the exam, the doctor's hands were on my shoulders.

I'm going back...

RICHH
--well, heck, everything *tastes* mormal
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:25836 alt.elvis.sighting:18
From: mdm@austin.ibm.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.elvis.sighting
Subject: Re: GOOLEY: I SAW ELVIS
Date: 12 Aug 92 17:18:06 GMT
Reply-To: mdm@shanghai.austin.ibm.com (Mike Manning)
Organization: IBM Austin (AIX Development)
Originator: mdm@shanghai.austin.ibm.com


  Imaginative!  I rather enjoyed reading it.  Thanks.
-- 
 Mike Manning                  Internet: Coming soon!
 AIX Development               IBM Net:  mdm@shanghai.austin.ibm.com
 Austin, Texas                 VM Net:   Are you kidding?
 DISCLAIMER: My views are seldom shared by anyone and certainly not IBM.
From: rxkgre@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au (Geof Evans)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: So who's the best writer here?
Date: 15 Aug 92 18:09:08 GMT
Organization: RMIT Computer Centre, Melbourne Australia.

mattb@ctron.com (Matt Brown) writes:
>I spew crap all the time.


>>                       -------------------------------------
>>|>                     -  There is only one Wavey Davey    -
>>|>                     -                                   -
>>|>                     -      Ooh yeah, bang bang          -
>>|>                     -         Sex on Wheels             -
>>|>                     -                                   -
>>|>                     -------------------------------------
>>
>And a damn good thing, too

>Now, back to the original question:  Who is the best writer here?

<<<* I'm surprised you had to ask.............777777777    

-- 
  ___________________________________________________________________  
|| Geof Evans                 | DOMAIN: rxkgre@minyos.xx.rmit.oz.au  ||
|| Melbourne,Australia 3000   | Tel: +61 3 663 3663		     ||
||   If they *really* wanna know...tell 'em that God was drunk.      ||
||___________________________________________________________________||
From: rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Michael A. Rigler)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: fraternitis
Date: 22 Aug 92 03:25:43 GMT
Organization: Sex, Cheese and Rock 'n' Roll

Jonathan describes his gullible brother:
>you may think i am cruel, but i have a generous side too.  so, in the
>spirit sharing, i will take a few requests.  what shall it be next?
>schistosomiasis?  a rare hemoglobinopathy?  or perhaps a nice,
>inoperable brain tumor?

Well, you might warn him about the danger associated with swimming in 
bodies of fresh water throughout the world.  Yes, I'm talking about...

                    ...the dreaded amoeba.  

If you get even one amoeba up your nose, there is a good chance it will
discover the most nutritious supply of protien available:  your nasal
nerve.  And when amoebae eat, they multiply, and then it is too late.
The voracious colony will feast its way up the nerve and into your
brain.  Soon, the entire surface of your tender cerebrum will be coated 
with an ever-thickening paste of ameobae.  Death is inevitable, but
only after an extended period of indescribable pain and madness. 

Actually, this is all true, but it should still be good for a gag.
Tell your brother the next time you go camping together.  Hope this
helps.

--
Rigler                       "Tremble and urinate before me."
                                                    --Ken Johnson
                                                      (copyright 1991)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: I have one extra ticket for the They Might Be Giants show tonite
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 20:14:35 GMT

osa@wilbur.unh.edu (Oktay S. Ahiska) writes:


>I have an extra ticket for the They Might Be Giants show at Avalon,
>(Boston MA) tonight at 7pm.  I paid $20 for it, but the first one to
>send me e-mail or call me at 603-862-4335 (leave msg if nobody
>answers) gets it for $15. 

Pathetic.  I see Oktay is trying to get people to pay attention to
him in more subtle ways than putting 'Send me mail send me mail send
me mail' in his .sig.  Making up stories now!  Get a life, man!

mark
From: grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Fuck this moralizing bullshit
Distribution: world
Date: 21 Aug 92 23:32:31 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <1992Aug21.145309.2257@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>FUCK THIS MORALIZING BULLSHIT!
>
>No more arguments about whether smoking is "only" self-destructive, or is
>actively stoooopid.
>
>T.B. is not about morality,health, lifestyle choices, or any of this shit

Damn straight!!! I agree, every time someone smokes in my office I don't
lecture them. Fuck that shit! I just stand there laughing and say, "Can
I have your shit when you're dead?"

You know what? I reeeally mean it.

I love you man. It's honest, down to earth statements like that me want
to go out buy the biggest God damn blunt $25 can buy and get totally
fucked up.

GOD BLEEESSSS AAAMERICA!
MY BONG SWEET BONG!
GOD BLESSSS AAAMERICA!
MY BONG SWEEEEET BONG!

"Wow, that hippy must be really out of it?"
				Young Ones  
--

"So I'm minding my own business...no, really. | ...uunet!canetoad!grendel
 And I see him, the HIM in big impressive     | canetoad!grendel@uunet.uu.net
 letters. And he owns me, I mean the way      |
 pigeons own N.Y...damn I'm had again."       |
From: rdc@netcom.com (Rachel Dafni Christy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: SUBLIMINAL THOUGHTS
Date: 21 Aug 92 00:56:32 GMT
Organization: 'Ex-Biology Grad Student, Student of Life.

IN K12.CHAT.SENIOR Steve.Strom@f57.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Steve Strom) writes:
)
)Hey Jenny!

(cute name.  probably got a tight ass)

) So Taco Bell is the main hangout over in Plainfield, huh?  

(very hick town.  i could be the tough wild out of town kid.
and win the hot small town girl.)

) I go to this place called Tommy-T's, and play pool 

(that'll give her the tough guy image of me)

)My car, the one with the boomin' system...

(show her that i have a car.  that's its got a cool stereo.
chicks dig stereos.  we could fuck in the car.  i'm a genius.)

) I gotta go, I have some more messages to reply to.

(show her that i'm not dependent on her.  i've got other chicks.
chicks dig that independent thing.  that rebel attitude.)

)
)Steve

Steve.  Ricko Stevo Swavi.
-- 
____________________________________________________________
___________________________ If you'd like my phone number,
Roger David Carasso,        please me ask and I will give it,
Celebrity                   so that we may talk about life.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov ( Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: Handwriting (was: Spelling Flame)
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 17:20:34 GMT

In article <yBZFPB9w165w@mantis.co.uk> mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk> writes:
>
>Well, pardon me, but apart from sticking them in your ear (or someone else's)
>the only use I can think of for cotton buds is cleaning the heads of cassette
>decks.  Perhaps I'm just not imaginative enough.  I'd love to know what the
>manufacturers think they're for.

They are great for cleaning the heads of 1/4" tape decks, and also for the
2" decks.  Unfortunately they aren't much good for 8mm decks, 4mm decks, or
most video decks because the heads are so small and the cotton gets caught
around the end (but they are okay for 2" quadrature scan video decks, which
have a greater tilt to the drum and much larger heads).

Oh yes, and they're quite fine up your butt, too.
--scott
From: state@sargent.cs.unc.edu (Andrei State)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: My brunch w/ St. Terri & Mark Lippert
Date: 13 Aug 92 03:12:20 GMT
Organization: The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

rdc@netcom.com (Neub E. Imegront) writes:
>
>)St. Terri showed me photographs of famous t.b people.  
>
>I take it that she didn't show you the picture up her dress of her
>panties that I took with her camera?

No.


Andrei
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gmw1@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Gabe M Wiener)
Subject: Re: THE DAN QUAYLE DICTIONARY
Reply-To: gmw1@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Gabe M Wiener)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 20:13:21 GMT

In article <86642@netnews.upenn.edu> crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:
>In article <1992Aug20.111807.8856@techbook.com> dant@techbook.com (Dan Tilque) writes:
>>
>>Has anyone else noticed that whenever someone uses the word "potato" on
>>the net these days, they *always* make some kind of reference to
>>Quayle's gaffe?
>
>
>Noe.

Speaking of "noe," the other day I saw someone wearing a button with a 
photo of Quayle covered by one of those red circle/slash strikeout symbols,
and under it

			     Just Say Noe

And then there's the voter registration posters that the democrats have
been putting up.  They read:

			 Don't forget to vot.


--
Gabe Wiener - Columbia Univ.     "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings 
gmw1@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu       to be seriously considered as a means of 
N2GPZ in ham radio circles        communication. The device is inherently of
72355,1226 on CI$                 no value to us." -Western Union memo, 1877
From: grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The wages of advertising are death
Distribution: world
Date: 20 Aug 92 00:07:24 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <1992Aug19.160303.28242@terminator.cc.umich.edu> ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano) writes:
>     THANKSGIVING DINNER
>
>                  And then -- for diges-
>                  tion's sake -- smoke
>                  a Camel right after
>                  the soup.
>
>                    joy Camels -- every meal-
>                    time -- between courses
>                    and after eating -- and
>                    you can lean back in
>                    your chair feeling on
>                    top of the world.

kills stomach worms, umm camels.

--

"So I'm minding my own business...no, really. | ...uunet!canetoad!grendel
 And I see him, the HIM in big impressive     | canetoad!grendel@uunet.uu.net
 letters. And he owns me, I mean the way      |
 pigeons own N.Y...damn I'm had again."       |
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Once in sync, always in sync
Date: 23 Aug 92 02:40:50 GMT
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us

In <larne.02oa@canetoad.UUCP> larne@canetoad.UUCP (Larne Pekowsky) writes:
>Yeah, that's typical.  Everything I like I discover when it's about to
>die (Sandman), once it's already dead and gone (Galaxy Express 999),
>long after it's glory days are over (Genesis, arguably talk.bizarre)

As a safety prcaution, the glory days of talk.bizarre were carefully scheduled
for sometime during the Late Jurassic, in order to ensure that no one with a
working terminal would be able to mar them.
From: gj@comlab.oxford.ac.uk (Craig Shergold)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re:  X-Directory
Summary: Ever wanted to say ``Distribution: steam newsreaders only''?
Date: 13 Aug 92 15:25:44 GMT
Organization: National Association for the Advancement of Contagious Diseases
Comment: of course they won't see this either...
X-Current-CD: Digon Hen i Yfed, Mynediad am Ddim

Fed up of technogeeks with horrendously over-engineered threaded newsreaders?
Post self-referential articles and they won't even know you're there.
It probably breaks some newsreaders too.  Serve them right for 
being too clever.  Why should I post to people who do not                  /
have to wade through things the hard way as I do?                         /
A fan of the fair Helen and steam newsreaders.                           / g
From: heim@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JOHN HEIM	)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: annoyance
Date: 21 Aug 92 16:38:10 GMT
Organization: University of Wisconsin Academic Computing Center

In ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes...

>heim@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JOHN HEIM	) writes:
>> >> HEIM'S LAW OF TALK.BIZARRE ETIQUETTE: Everyone is fair game in t.b
>> > 
>> >     HEIM'S LAW my (laughed off) ass.  If you
>> >weren't such a fucking newbie you would already
>> >know everyone is fair game in t.b.  
>> 
>> Didn't I just say that?
> 
>     Oh Christ, this one's slower than I originally
>thought.

You gotta be kiddin' me.

I was thinking the same about you.  

>     The point, Mr. Heim, is that everyone is
>and always had been fair game in t.b long before
>you felt the need to declare a HEIM'S LAW to that
>effect as though you had either the standing to
>do so or the brains to have discovered the
>concept before anyone else in the first place.

Do I really have to explain this?

What I meant Mr. Ra (can I call you Starcap'n?), was the following:

HEIM'S SECOND LAW OF TALK.BIZARRE ETIQUETTE:  I reserve the right to 
state the obvious.

>> >And you
>> >wouldn't be culling the newsgroup for
>> >submissions to rec.humor.
>> 
>> What the heck are you talking about?
> 
>     What I am talking about, Mr. Heim, is that
>you are judging Sho's posting as though it were
>a candidate for rec.humor, which it most assuredly
>isn't.
>
>     And at the risk of offending Sho, who
>generally finds anything even vaguely sycophantic
>written about his work to be embarrassing and
>distasteful, but who nevertheless does enjoy
>a well-crafted flame:  What I am talking about,

You call this a well crafted flame?

>Mr. Heim, is that while they do have little
>snippets of humor, those snippets comprise but
>a small portion of the mosaic of thought and
>dimension that are Sho's postings, and hence to
>say they are "not funny" is to betray a completely
>shallow reading of same.
>
>     In the final analysis, Mr. Heim, what I am
>talking about is that you have yet to demonstate
>qualification to so much as carry Sho's jockstrap,
>let alone offer criticism of his postings.

You've got too much spare time on your hands.

John G. Heim                                 Email:  heim@macc.wisc.edu
From: mrx@sgi.com (you: coma: marilyn monroe)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The course of evolution
Date: 13 Aug 92 18:15:57 GMT
Organization: the atrocity exhibition

kenj@kambo.wpd.sgi.com (Ken ``Blackfur'' Jones) writes:
>*I finally gave in and bought SimEarth [...]

>Oh, I got that.  Every time I play, I feel a little bit like mister x.
>Especially, when I get bored and bring on an earthquake or radically
>change the tilt of the planet's axis.
>
>
>Mark "While wearing the official t-shirt" Lippert 


you too, eh?

i'm still working on the interface to the
giant orbiting induction coils.


		mr x

		appletalk won't cut it
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Subject: Re: I resolve...
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 17:59:09 GMT

In article <4300@inca.comlab.ox.ac.uk> gj@comlab.oxford.ac.uk (Craig Shergold) writes:
>(                                 "Where's my fucking broker?"
>
>So that's what they call pimps in the colonies.  So inventive with language.  g

Love them soft-newline editors.

				--Blair
				  "Hey, Craig, are you still
				   collecting cinderblocks C.O.D.
				   for the Guinness Book of World-
				   Class Stupidity?"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Subject: Re: George Herbert Walker Bush is from a Planet far far away
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 92 06:02:29 GMT


In a previous article, rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) says:
                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

>...(George Bush) is a reckless egomaniac, and plans to 
>destroy earth and enslave the entire milky way galaxy.

 rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU -- (@=t)
***************************************
  4-F, I decide t' go up cravin' war!
***************************************

-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
From: rdc@netcom.com (Roger David Carasso)
Subject: Re: I like hot women who wear the following!
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 01:56:42 GMT
Organization: 'Be at Peace, and Peace will be with you.'

IN ALT.PERSONALS jfcst7+@pitt.edu (Joseph F Castagnino) writes:
)Hello I am posting because I am looking for sexy women who like high heels,
)and or boots.  And also like leather clothing. If this describes you and you
)would like to find out more about me give me a buzz.

HOW ABOUT IT CJ?
-- 
____________________________________________________________
___________________________ If you'd like my phone number,
Roger David Carasso,        please me ask and I will give it,
Celebrity                   so that we may talk about life.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: john@lightning.mmm.ucar.edu (John J. Allison)
Subject: contents of my office bookshelf
Organization: STORM Project Office, NCAR, Boulder
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 21:33:12 GMT

Bottom shelf:
  4 inches laser-printed source code (mine)
  1 inch laser-printed data files (mine)
  UCAR Benefits notebook
    (But, both of us are Student Assistants and so we don't get benefits.)
  UCAR Policies Manual/NCAR Procedures manual

Next shelf up:
  _A_Pratical_Guide_to_the_Unix_System_, Second Edition,
     by Mark G. Sobell (mine)
  _The_C_Programming_Language_, by Brian W. Kernighan
     and Dennis M. Ritchie (mine)

Next shelf up (my office-mate's):
  Norton Utilites 5.0 box
  Logitech mouse/Microsoft Windows box
  _Elementary_Numerical_Analysis_, Third Edition, by Conte and deBoor
  _Algorithms_, Second Edition, by Sedgewick
  _FORTRAN_77_, by Meissner and Organick
  _Object-Oriented_Programming_with_the_X_Window_System_Toolkits_,
     by Smith
  MS-DOS Version 4.0 books published by Dell

Next shelf up (still my office-mate's):
  Empress: 4GL, Vols 1 and 2
  Empress: SQL, Vols 1 and 2
  Empress: Host Language Interface, Vols 1 and 2
  other Empress books
  a stack of about 20 3.5" floppies

Next shelf up (still my office-mate's):
  about 8 inches of old, unread _PC_Week_ and _Unix_Today_ newspapers

Top shelf (unclaimed):
  empty

"Roof" of bookcase (unclaimed, but not a real shelf):
  empty

-- 
----\
-jja
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre