From: sagar@davinci.concordia.ca (Sagar Naik)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: Re: Response to INDIAN MEN and MARRIAGE
Date: 11 Apr 92 22:12:40 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Concordia University, Montreal, Quebec

In article <1992Apr10.144705.15758@gatech.edu> niru@cc.gatech.edu writes:
>
>attitude  of men. In a few words, arranged marriages
>are just more like BUSINESS TRANSACTIONS rather than
>the sensitive and beautiful relationship a marriage
>is supposed to signify. Most people prefer following this
>due to being conventional (and repeat !) not daring
>enough to try something new.

What for is the above pompousness? It reminds me of the following
situation. If I am sick and talk to someone heavily into drinking,
that person suggests me to drink a bit of whisky; if I talk to a 
guy who consumes opium, his suggestion would be to take a bit
of opium, and so on. In other words, as the "fortune" sometimes tells:
"If you have only a hammer, all problems look like a nail."
Why can't people of your ilks see arranged and love marriages are
compelmentary ways to getting someone of one's choice? Why an
arranged marriage is more like BUSINESS TRANSACTIONS? Do you know
that in this country people sign a CONTRACT while marrying?
Do you know that at the time of marriage a contract is signed
to the effect that who will get what in case of a failure, in other
words, if the CONTRACT EXPIRES. ;-)
So, if you sign a contract while marrying, then is not that a
BUSINESS TRANSACTION????? I don't give a damn whether it is a
business transaction or not.....

So, you think an arranged marriage does not signify what you call
"the sensitive and beautiful relationship......"

For most people, marriage is a "once in a life-time" concept, though
some people suffer for no fault of their own...
Whether people are "daring enough to try something new" is their
business.... It is attitude like yours that is, sometimes, responsible
for many a catastrophe in the West. Many people also try "something new"
after marriage...... What do you say??????
 
>Sudha Neelakantan's point that " Indian men are really too
>difficult to date" is basically due to this same attitude.

What is this finger pointing business? There are problems on both
sides. You think Indian women here don't have attitude problems? Huh!!
You want to know? An Indian guy meets/talks to an Indian woman in
a party some night. Next day he sees her on the school corridor, tries
to say hello to her, but most of these Indian women look the other way.
 

>In fact, a netter had actually admitted that rather than
>waste his "TIME, MONEY, ENERGY and EMOTIONS", he might as
>well have somebody arrange it for him. This epitomizes the
>ESCAPIST LETHARGIC attitude to this issue. So what's the
>difference in buying a car and getting a wife (another
>commodity which comes with BONUS !!).

Yes, those were my words. Going for an arranged marriage is not
an ESCAPIST LETHARGIC attitude. Rather, it is a useful alternative
to many many people. Maybe, you have already met your "prince";
otherwise you would not have been writing in such a pompous manner,
rather you would have been waiting for your dad/mom to look for somebody
for you. ;-)
 
Can you elaborate a bit more on your "buying a car" analogy?
It has become a fashion these days........

>IIW.

You are an independent woman??? Why don't you use "burkha" in public so
that you can conceal your identity????


Now a few questions to all these "independent" women in favor or
love marriage:

1. What is the chance of such a woman loving a guy who is less
   educated than her, but is fine otherwise (remove exceptional
   cases like not finding a better one in her thirties)?

2. How many would love a man whose income potential is less than her?

3. How many would love a man whose real income is way below her?

4. How many would love a man who is much shorter than her?????

Many of these so called independent women use double standards. 
If you compare the Indian men and women who come here, you find
that women are in a better position to go for this love marriage.
More man than women. The dice is highly loaded in favor of women.
If there are not many qualified deshi women here, where is the
opportunity for "love" for a deshi man? Why the hell he should go
to a bar to find one and go thru the process of "wasting TIME, MONEY,
ENERGY and EMOTIONS."
Why should he pick up someone from a bar????? An independent Indian
woman does not do that. Or, does she??? 

He looks toward the easier and proven way. Compare it with buying a
car with/wothout BONUS. Who cares??


Sagar

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