From: ka@wan.inf.rl.ac.uk (Khalid Akram [Lahori])
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: Respect for women in India/Pakistan/Anywhere: a solution
Date: 13 Oct 92 14:22:54 GMT
Reply-To: ka@wan.inf.rl.ac.uk
Organization: SERC Rutherford Appleton Laboratories

Hi,
I've been following the debate discussion about how women are treated in India and
the US. Most people have complained that there is abuse of women in both countries
in the form of verbal abuse, and in the UK certainly, women can be subjected to 
physical abuse (such as being fondled without permission (office, factory, bus stop)).
Even being "eyed up" lustfully, whistled at can be regarded as ill treatment. And
unfortunately the ultimate abuse is rape.

Now many people have said that it is wrong and that something should be done
about it. But not a single person has proposed a solution. What can be done to change
the attitude of society? Does the answer lie in government laws, religion, 
constitution or elsewhere? And the problem is getting worse every year, not better.
I should point out that the situation is much the same in Pakistan BTW.

I'm just going to (hopefully briefly) put forward the Islamic solution; without the
intention of insinuating that this solution is better than the Hindu/Brahmin/atheist
solution. I am going to present it with the hope that people will discuss what it
lacks and perhaps come up with a better one from different systems. So here goes:

The Islamic solution to the ill treatment of women
__________________________________________________

In Islam a female is either your wife, sister, daughter, niece, grandaughter, mother
or some other type of relation. What ever she is, she is someone who should be
respected; Islam requires this. Any female that one does not know or is not related
to, one is not allowed to even come into contact with. It is 'haram' and therefore
sinful for a muslim man to look at the midsection of a females body (unless its his
own wife), clothed or unclothed. Islam does not say that sex is dirty or bad or that
lust is dirty or bad. Sex is good, natural, fun, a gift from Allah (SWT) to be
enjoyed : BUT ONLY WITHIN marriage. Anything outside marriage is forbidden.

Islam places responsibility upon the man to behave respectfully towards women, if
he does not then he will be accountable for his actions and may be punished in this
world or the hereafter (spend time in hell). Islam also places responsibility upon
the woman, basically women are commanded not to dress in a way that is "sexy". That
is do not dress in a way that will cause men to lust after you. This is considered
bad. And similarly, the woman will be held accountable for her actions if she does
dress sexily. So if both man and woman *believe* that it is wrong to eye up/slander
the opposite sex, and they *believe* that they will be punished if they "touch up",
rape, abuse women and children then they will be less inclined to do it. Indeed they
will try not to do it.

A man asked the prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) for permission to fornicate
(have sex outside marriage). The prophet (pbuh) asked the man whether he would like
it if other strange men wished to fornicate with his mother, sister or wife. The man,
shocked, replied, "No, indeed". The prophet (pbuh) then pointed out that he should
not commit this sin either.

This type of thinking is instilled in men and women in Islamic culture. A man does
not want to mess with other women because he would not want other men messing with
his wife/sister/mother/daughter.

I'll leave it there. Any mistakes in my interpretation of this is my fault. I am not
a scholar in Islam and any corrections would be appreciated.
____________________________________________________________________________________

Another topic that should be raised is WHY do men behave in that way? here's my
hypothesis:
We (men) are being hit by sexy images almost 24hours a day. every television
commercial, every advert in a magazine, every drink(pepsi/coke), all items
are sold with SEX. A sexy woman with a bikini has to be involved in everything.
Also: pornography is freely available, in video and magazine form. There are
groups which deal with child pornography. All of this material is available
in Pakistan/India. Couple this with a lack of religious/moral/ethical education
(because the education system is secular and does not produce people with
humility, but rather people who know about maths, physics, biology) then it is
easy to see why men have become sex crazed and regard anything in a skirt/Shalwar
Kameez as game. I'm not justifying it or saying that these men have an excuse for
their behaviour. THEY DO NOT. But society should recognise that all men CANNOT 
control their sexual desires, some of them feel the need for an outlet when they 
are constantly bombarded with semi-clad Dimples and Sonams (know what I'm sayin'?)
This outlet takes the form of: eyeing up girls, whistling at them, pinching them,
trying to "chat them up", rape, an interest in porn, child-porn, prostitution,
singles bars, child-prostitution, women-trade, the Devidasi syndrome,
drink .......... etc, etc, etc.

The way to prevent this is to curb it, to restrict it, encourage sexual
urges to be released through marriage. There is a market in this "selling sex"
trade, the west knows this, but because it is too greedy and wants to make money 
out of it, the West refuses to acknowledge that it is making society rotten.

Before some clever Tom/Dick or Patel says to me, "Pakistan is a muslim country,
why does it not work there then?" Let me answer this: Pakistan is not being
run under Islamic principles, nobody (99.5%) is practicing the way, they are
too influenced by the Western system. The Islamic solution would solve the
problem if only people (including all those in the muslim wordl) adopted
Islam as a way of life rather than just in name.

Your views please. I want to hear alternative solutions for solving mens
behaviour.


"Hindu, muslim, sikh, hisai, sub ko mera salam."

Khalid
ka@uk.ac.rl.inf

The views expressed here are mine, just mine, all mine ... and nobody elses.

BTW: Has anybody seen Bill Hicks sketch of "This is the ad they'd like to do!"