From: zlsiida@fs1.mcc.ac.uk (dave budd)
Newsgroups: rec.org.mensa
Subject: How I joined Densa and found true happiness
Date: 15 Oct 92 11:50:09 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre


            How I joined Densa and found true happiness

Densa got mentioned somewhere on the net, probably rec.org.mensa, and 
it was suggested that the whole thing was a joke and that there was no 
such organisation.

I vaguely recalled having seen an ad for it, and my office-partner
affirmed that the UK satirical magazine Private Eye had, at least once,
carried such an ad.  I asked him if he could find it, and after searching
through nearly a year's worth of PEs he did.

The address was given, and I sent off a stamped self-addressed envelope.
I began to think it had been just a joke, but after about 4 weeks I got 
the following flyer through the post:

DENSA     16 Connaught Street  London W2 2AF      {that's in the UK btw}
Dear...............
Densa people don't know what they're doing.  Wrong!  Densafolk know 
exactly what they're doing.  It's the other people who don't know what
we're doing, so they think we're stupid, just because we refuse to 
believe everything we're told by so-called 'experts' on TV, radio and 
in the newspapers.  How on earth do they 'know' better than the rest of 
us?  Who appoints them to tell the rest of us what to do?  Densafolk 
have had enough of it and are now coming forward to be counted.  Someone 
has to make a stand against all this 'expertise' in politics, education, 
etc.
So come and join us.  Life membership of Densa, for which you receive 
your Certificate of Densanity, badge, membership card, Densawallet in 
quakeproof Densarette, plus the unique Densil (the unleaded pencil) costs 
five pounds plus 1 pound fifty pence post & packing.  You can order the 
wonderful Densa T-shirt for eight pounds plus 1 pound fifty pence (p&p) 
or you can get everything for twelve pounds fifty pence plus one fifty 
(p&p).
It is your duty to join today to restore some common sense to this country.
Regards from R.McGedden


At this point I thought to myself:  some fun stuff and a fun Tshirt.  Just 
got my Grade3, I can afford it, even if it's a ripoff and I never see my 
money again.

So I sent off the cheque....it said allow 10-15 days on the form.....

5 weeks later I was convinced it was all just a joke, as they hadn't 
even cashed the cheque.  But eventually, with a note apologising for 
the delay, it arrived:

Certificate of Densanity
  37.5x26 centimetres (or 15.5x10 inches to you).  NB non-standard frame
  size!  Nice gothic script, reads:
  Densa
  This is to Certify
  <name written in in rounded script in red>
  The above named, of whose I.Q. no account has been, or will be taken, 
  and who has demonstrated a lifelong disregard for contemporary views 
  on intelligence, has indicated to the Board of Densa outstanding 
  eligibility for membership by his/her possession of a brain totally 
  devoid of cerebral activity.
  Witness hereof: R.McGedden
  <and signed and dated {September '92 Year 2:Anno Densae} by him>
  <and a copyright notice>

Badge
  A 1 inch diameter button badge with a line drawing of a cartoony type
  face in the centre (not much hair, sticky-out ears, surprised/perplexed
  crossed eyes, mouth in a pursed "oo-er" position), DENSA at the top in
  rounded cartoony type characters, and at the bottom the slogan "You know 
  it makes sence" - yes, sence not sense.

Membership card
  Slightly larger than a credit card, the Densa cartoony style logo in 
  orange printed sideways at one end, a space for the name, and the 
  following text in a rather attractive script:
  DENSACARD
  Possession of this card exempts the holder from any consequences or
  penalties arising from or caused by any act of stupidity or negligence
  on the part of the cardholder.
  In other words, the cardholder is not responsible for any of his/her
  own actions.
  Densacard is recognised in several places.

Densawallet
  Densarette turns out to be a new word for plastic, it's just a simple
  4 pocket credit/id card holder.

Densil
  Looks like a pencil, feels like a pencil, smells like a pencil, even
  tastes like a pencil....but it's unleaded.  It doesn't write - the 
  'lead' is just some black paint.  It has the words
  The Densil    Unleaded Pencil   from Densa       on it, and also
  the name of the owner and date of joining.

Tshirt
  Well made white 100% cotton Tshirt printed with:
  DENSA      in red in those cartoony rounded letters about 2.5 inches high
  YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENCE in black about 0.5 inches high
  Founder Member (black, caps 0.625inch, Times Roman font??)
  cartoon face, 3.75inch, diff to one on badge, more hair, diff shaped ears
  showing more detail, eyes looking to left, wild grin. 
  MY I.Q. IS ALMOST 100%   (Elite font?? slightly italicised, 0.625inch
  high except I.Q. and 100% which are bigger)
  and very small:
  I'm a dumdoo salesperson
        I seldom do
     THE MISHU GAS CO
         (TOKYO)

So there you have it: how I joined Densa and found true happiness (aka a 
nice Tshirt and some nutty bits'n'pieces)
And it wasn't till somebody said "what's his name" and I said it out loud
that I realised  R.McGedden is a soundex match for  Armageddon
It was at that point I knew I REALLY qualified for membership!

If anybody else feels like buying the Tshirt etc, the address is above, 
and the prices.  Outside UK, probably best to write checking prices first.

Next Mensa meeting I go to (could be a while, I've only been to one in 
about the last 10 years), I'm going to wear that Tshirt and see if they 
beat me up.....
More likely they'll all rush out and buy one.


              Have another day    [Armageddon, the musical] 
  Dave Budd, MCC, Oxford Rd, Manchester, England   (44|0)61-275-6033  
Newsgroups: rec.org.mensa