From: glenda@grex.ann-arbor.mi.us (Glenda F. Andre')
Subject: Re: Leaving kids alone (was Re: The Schoo Didn't Fit)
Organization: GREX Public Access Unix +1 313 761 3000
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 17:57:51 GMT

In article <1it95eINNqbe@darkstar.UCSC.EDU> haynes@cats.ucsc.edu (Jim Haynes) writes:
>
>In talking about what ages kids can be left at home alone, consider also
>what other activities they can be doing without parents around.  Is the
>age for leaving them at home alone higher or lower than the age at which
>they can go to a neighbor's down the street alone, or to a park alone?
>Or walk or bicycle between home and school unaccompanied?
>Does it matter if it is an only child or if there is more than one?
>On a related note, go to a shopping mall on a busy weekend and note the
>wide variation in (apparent) ages of kids who are or aren't with parents or
>older kids.  I've seen some apparently as old as 12 or more holding
>parents hands, and others apparently as young as 9 or less out on their own
>(in a group of 2 or 3 of about the same age).
>
Damon started walking to school himself when he was 6.  School was 2 blocks
down and 1.5 blocks over (and no major crossings, just a quiet neighborhood).
I had walked him to and from the year before and for the first few days the
second year.  When he first started on his own I watched him for the 2 blocks
down (the turn) and was out watching for his return.  After he showed that he
could do it with no problem I just went out to check for his appearance when
he was a couple minutes late.  We moved in the middle of that year and school
was still in walking distance but involved crossing a major road.  School is
5-6 blocks away.  I walked both ways with him for a month or so, until he
learned the route and decided that he could do it himself.  There is a
crossing guard to cross the major road that causes him to have to walk
an extra 3 blocks.  During that first summer at this school he went to
summer school.  There was no crossing guard so I couldn't see making him
(or me for the first 2 days when I walked with him) walk the extra 3 blocks.
When school started the next fall I couldn't see the sense of making him
walk the extra blocks for the crossing guard when he had been going the
other way without one all summer.  This year Staci has been added to the
formula.  She goes to school in the afternoon.  I (or a neighbor with a child
in her class) walk her to school.  Damon walks her home (at his request).
Next year he will walk her both ways (I go with them the first day).

At 8 he now does simple errands for me.  He often goes to buy a paper on
Sunday morning and occasionaly to get milk or bread or some such.  The
store is about 4 blocks away and involves a complicated intersection
where cars can come from 5 directions.  He felt he could handle it and I
trusted he could.  He won't accept trying something like this unless he
is sure in his mind that he can and I don't push anything major until he
feels he is ready.

I did catch some flak from one of the other mothers in his cub scout den
the night neither his father or I could go with him and expected him to
walk home (from the school, along the same route he has been walking for
2 years now) after dark.  We talked it over before he went.  He is a bit
uncomfortable in the dark but wanted to try.  We encouraged him for the
ego boost he would get when he accomplished it.  She was affronted that
we would even considered it and walked him home (she lives across the
street from the school and wouldn't even consider letting her son walk
that far after dark).  Completely destroyed all the work we have been
doing with him over the last 3-4 years to get him comfortable in the 
dark.  If he hadn't been willing to try, I wouldn't have had him do it.

He has been going down the street to friends since we moved here 2 years
ago with no problem.  Staci often went with him.  She went to Safety Town
over the summer (kindergarteners go to help them prepare for going to
school) and passed with flying colors.  When Damon got the chicken pox
last spring I started letting her go by herself and well.  She is 5.  At
first I watched as she went just to make sure she was following safety
precautions.  She proved she could.  I would let her walk to school
by herself at this point if it wasn't for the major road that she has to
cross, and even that wouldn't bother me too much except that she crosses
during the height of lunchtime and we live within walking distance of
downtown Ann Arbor and the UofM campus.

Glenda Andre' mom to Damon 3/12/84 and Staci 8/22/87