From: artemis@cwis.unomaha.edu (Gina Ritter)
Subject: Castle -- Meghin:  "A Cause for Celebration"
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 12:49:15 GMT


	"Awh, Meggie, you can't be leaving already!"  Elo whined.  "The
party's just started!  We haven't even got to do any dancing yet!"
	"I don't feel much like dancing,"  Meghin said quietly.  After
everything they had gone through, what she most wanted was to retire
to her room, have a cup of tea, and get a night of unbroken rest for 
a change.  Elo sniffed at her.
	"Well, pooh.  Be that way.  To think we got ya all dressed up
for no reason..."
	She winced.  "Please, Elotheria.  I'm sorry.  I'm just... not 
up for this.  I have too much to think about.  All right?"
	Elo frowned, then nodded.  "Sorry, Megs.  I thought you were 
feeling better..."
	"I am,"  the young priest said, not wanting to hurt Elo's feelings.
"Just not this--" she gestured at the hall, and all the wonderful happy 
people therein "--much better."
	"Too bad.  Don't care what you say, you could stand some fun,"  Elo
grumbled, and gave her a hug.  "You get some sleep, Meghin, and things
will be *bunchies* better."  She let her go, waved.  "Good night!"
	"Have fun,"  Meghin said, and Elo giggled and bounded away.  She
watched the girl for awhile, moving among the remaining Defenders like
a young careless swan, or an agitated moth.  She hoped Elo would be well
as she turned and left the hall.
	Why was she so worried about Elo all of a sudden?  The Goddess had
not laid Her hand on Meghin, and told her that Elo was her responsibility.  
Yet somehow Meghin knew that she was indeed responsible for Elo now.  Not 
that Elo couldn't take care of herself, but everyone needed help once in a 
while...
	When Meghin had to leave though, she would have to leave.  What
of Elo?  Meghin wondered why Elo was here, rather than in her homeland.  Had
something happened?  Something bad?  She had never asked Elo; Elo always
seemed too happy-minded to dwell on somber things for long.  Would Elo be 
willing to go away with her?  Or was she too happy here?
	But where did Meghin think she was going?  She could not go back
to Noel, after having left him so cruelly.  If it had been she in his place,
she did not think she could welcome him wholeheartedly back.  Even if
she had had no choice but to go.  The Prophecy...
	"Hang the Prophecy,"  she murmured, her feet going noiselessly up
the stairs.  "There is a way around it.  There must be.  Nothing can be
so absolute."
	But she was not sure of that.  Not at all.  She bit her lip and
continued on her aimless way.

				----^_^----

	And so she came again to stand on the Castle ramparts.  All around
was peaceful now.  There were no shrieks of the Dark One's followers, no
cries of pain from fallen Defenders.  The trees below barely stirred their
leaves in response to the faint wind.  Above, the sky was deepest blue, 
pierced by starlight and the globe of the moon.  Meghin leaned her elbows
on the ledge and sighed.  This was so nice, it had almost been worth fighting
for.
	"My lady?  Meghin?"
	She turned.  It was that mage again, hiding in the shadows.  She 
wondered what he wanted.  Was he a follower of the Adversary, sent to observe 
her?  Or just another soul lost in this night of 'happiness'?  "Yes?"
	"You're not at the celebration."
	"Nor are you."
	He seemed to smile.  "Why not?"
	"Not much to celebrate,"  she said.  She looked out into the night,
barely heard the rustle of his robes as he stepped forward.  He stood beside
her now, his face hidden beneath his cloak's hood.  She glanced at him, 
worried.  The Dark One had been vanquished, she told herself, and a minion
of the Adversary would have been unclever enough to have attacked her
outright.  She was safe.  Then why was she so bothered?
	"Not much to celebrate,"  he repeated reflectively.  She shook
her head.  He sounded almost...familiar.  "You are alive."
	"Is that enough,"  Meghin asked.  She looked away fast.  She didn't
even know this man, and here she was, a sworn priest of the Goddess, carrying
on the most thoughtful of conversations with him.  She must be tired indeed.
This seemed almost like the right thing to do.
	"It is enough... for some of us,"  he told her gently, and pushed 
free the hood of his cloak.  She gasped in surprise and blinked at
him.  
	"Noel?  Noel?!"
	He nodded.  "Yes, Meghin."
	She stared.  He looked so sad with his soft brown eyes and lovely
elegant (almost elfish) features.  Much sadder than she had ever seen him.
Her fault.  She had left him...  She whimpered in unhappiness so deep it
was almost pain and turned away from him.  "No.  No... I'm sorry..."
	"Meghin.  Meghin, love, it's all right,"  Noel said, patting her
shoulder.  She shook her head angrily.
	"No it's not all right, Noel!  It's my fault you're so sad!  I
shouldn't have left,"  she sobbed.  "I shouldn't have left you."
	He put his arm around her and she turned to him, ducked against
his shoulder.  She could not believe now she could have left him behind,
Prophecy or no.  And the Prophecy had not been the only reason... She 
had been selfish and scared...  Had been?  Was she not yet...  He stroked 
her hair and she clutched at him, sniffling.  It was not fair to him, he who 
had loved her more than she had cared to know... Did he love her still?  
Could he possibly?
	After what seemed a very long while she stopped crying.  She stood
in his arms and felt almost happy, truly happy, for the first time in 
a long time.  And felt unimaginably guilty.  She had left this, she thought,
and felt like she might cry again.  She had never felt this way with anyone.
And she knew why.  She loved him.
	"Meghin."
	"Noel."
	"Do you...still...care for me?"
	She looked up.  Noel looked terribly uncertain, more like a schoolboy
than a grown shepherd of eighteen.  She smiled at him.  "Yes.  I do."
	"Oh, thank you.  Thank God and Goddess and *everything*."  He held
her away, looked at her.  "I thought you had forgotten me."
	"Never."
	"When you didn't recognize me, I was almost sure."
	"Well, you were being pretty mysterious."
	He sighed.  "Ah, there was that."
	"How did you come to be here, anyway?"
	"Long story.  We should sit."  He shrugged out of his cloak, spread
it on the stones.  She sat down with him, being careful with her dress.  
He looked at her, smiled.  "The dress suits you, Meghin.  Better than the
robes.  You look very pretty."
	"Oh, stop,"  she laughed, blushing.  Elo was right, she *did* blush
lots for a priest.  "Tell me how you got here."
	"All right."  He nodded slowly and began.  "After you left, I was
very unhappy.  But I knew I could not go after you.  I had responsibilities,
and I was sure you would be happier at the Church.  So I went on with
things, not really paying attention or caring very much.  I thought you
would be well.
	"Then I had this strange dream."
	"What was it like?"  she asked, taking his hand in her two small ones.
He looked very worried.
	"It began with you picking berries.  You were wearing your robes
and carrying a basket.  You were singing something but you didn't look happy,
but you looked... content.  Yes, that was it.  As if you knew where you
were was not where you wanted to be, not quite, but it would do...
	"So I thought, 'oh, look, she's all right, you should let her go
now.'  But I couldn't.  I didn't want to.  And I knew everything was not
fine somehow."
	Meghin held his hand more tightly.  She knew how it went from here.
	"And you started back towards the Church.  And it was so pretty, 
all the grasses and flowers so bright, like they had just sprouted and 
bloomed as you walked by.  But I knew something was wrong.  As you started
up the stairs to the Church I wanted to shout at you, but I couldn't.  
You slipped at the doorway and got up.  There was something red, like
blood, all over your hands.  Looking scared, damn it all, Meghin, I never
want to see you that scared again,"  Noel said quietly, "you opened the
door.
	"This... thing had killed all the priests.  It had been looking for
you.  You flung down your basket and charged at it.  You fought and it
tore a long gash down your side...  And that was when I woke."
	"Oh...Noel..."
	"I couldn't stay, not after that.  So I packed up some things,
got Jones, and asked one of your brothers if he could watch my sheep and
lend me horse."
	"Which one of my brothers?"  she asked, concerned.  She didn't 
want anything happening to Noel's sheep.
	"Aebernath."
	She smiled; Aebernath loved Meghin well, and had always been kind
to Noel.  "Good choice.  Ah, I'm sorry, I got you all sidetracked..."
	"It's all right.  So I left, and I had no idea how long it takes
to get from place to place.  Every day I became more and more impatient.
Finally, after about a week, I reached the Church.  The only person there
was a young magician named Fenwyck."
	"Fenwyck?  Fenwyck's alive?"  she asked in amazement.  Fenwyck,
a visitor to the Church, had never failed to cheer her with his jokes
and stories and tricks.  Even if he was a little annoying...
	"Yes, he's alive.  You interrupt lots, yet again,"  Noel
said sternly, but he was smiling.  He rumpled her hair.  "Fenwyck told
me that you had not died, because he had not seen you among the dead.
And that he had noticed your belongings were gone.  So we decided that
you must have left.  First I thought that perhaps you had returned home,
but considering how you had left, I didn't think it too likely."
	"I didn't want them to get you,"  Meghin said softly.
	He nodded.  "I know.  Fenwyck thought that you might have gone
to the closest place to get help.  We set off for the village and must
have gotten lost.  We ended up here instead.  In the middle of the Battle."
	"That still doesn't explain--" She tugged on the sleeve of his
mage's robe.  
	"Fenwyck thought it might be best if I was in disguise."
	That little twit.  She could see Fenwyck now:  'Hey look, Meghin,
it's your intended!  Surprise!'  If she wasn't going to swat Fenwyck a
good one when she saw him again.  "And now you're here."
	"And so are you."  He looked at her fondly, kissed her on the cheek.
"I'm very glad I found you, Meghin.  I was... so... afraid..."
	"I'm all right,"  she insisted, and threw her arm around his neck.
She hugged him hard.  "I'm all right, Noel."
	He laughed.  "Do you think you have cause to celebrate now?"
	She smiled.  "Yes.  Goddess, yes."
	They sat that way for awhile.  It felt good to be cared for like this,
after all this time.  Even if Meghin knew there was something she wasn't
telling him.  It was going to have to wait; she wasn't ready now.  Except
it shouldn't have to wait.  Damn, why was she such a coward... "I love you, 
Meghin,"  Noel said, and she flinched.  "I never thought I would get to tell 
you again."  He slipped his hand under her chin, looked at her intently.  
"You're so quiet, Meghin."
	"Ah..."  She looked away from him before she could tell him.  Faintly
she could hear music, singing, from the celebration.  It was something light
and sad and impossibly beautiful.  He let her go and stood.  He held out his
hand.
	"Come, Meghin."
	"No, I can't.  I don't dance.  I told Elotheria--"
	"You lied to Elo, love, and you know it.  Come,"  he said kindly.  She
got to her feet and took his hand.  
	"Noel..."
	"It's all right,"  he assured, and put his arm around her waist.  She
looked up at him and knew it was.  Why was she fighting so hard, looking
for something to be wrong...
	Because he could die.  She couldn't love him.  She couldn't.
	She had trouble at first, because it had been so long since she had
danced, and she was terribly out-of-practice.  But when she looked at him
and forgot about keeping track of what her feet were doing it was easier.
Like it had always been.  Like she had never been away.  Oh, she wished that
was so.  She should never have left.  But if she hadn't left she wouldn't
have become a priest and wouldn't have met Elo again and wouldn't be dancing
like this with Noel now...
	It was cold this late, very cold.  She stepped closer to him and he 
held her hand tightly.  "Meghin,"  he said softly.
	"Yes, Noel?"
	They stood there silently.  The music carried on, but it seemed a
world away now.  The two of them were all that were, the two of them on
this cold clear night, and that was all.  He bent down to kiss her. 

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Gina Ritter 		     ----^_^----	   artemis@cwis.unomaha.edu
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