From: eng10161@nusunix1.nus.sg (POON KUM SOON)
Subject: Re: Murphy's Laws on Sex
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 06:47:33 GMT

Tim T. Preston (prestontim@bvc.edu) wrote:
:      Let's see if I can get a thread started here...
: 
:      Following are Murphy's Laws on Sex.  Does anyone else have any other lists
: compiled of Murphy's Laws???  I recall seeing one once on Technology and I know
: that there are a lot of lists out there.  Anyone???
: 
:             -Tim
: 
:  ******************************************************************************
: 
:                                 MURPHY'S LAWS ON SEX
:                                 --------------------
:         
:         1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is 
:         to leave her with no hard feelings.
: 
:         2. Nothing improves with age.
: 
:         3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, 
:         because it'll never be quite the same again.
: 
:         4. Sex has no calories.
: 
:         5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount 
:         of trouble.
: 
:         6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
: 
:         7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think 
:         you've got.
: 
:         8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
: 
:         9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to 
:         get or how long it is going to last.
: 
:         10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
: 
:         11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
: 
:         12. Virginity can be cured.
: 
:         13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops 
:         listening to him.
: 
:         14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
: 
:         15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the 
:         same ones she can't stand years later.
: 
:         16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
: 
:         17. It is always the wrong time of month.
: 
:         18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
: 
:         19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
: 
:         20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you 
:         won't either.
: 
:         21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for 
:         crop failure.
: 
:         22. The younger the better.
: 
:         23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
: 
:         24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that 
:         caused the trouble in the garden.
: 
:         25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
: 
:         27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot 
:         of frogs.
: 
:         28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse 
:         than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
: 
:         29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
: 
:         30. Love is a hole in the heart.
: 
:         31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone 
:         into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on 
:         the moon.
: 
:         32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
: 
:         33. Do it only with the best.
: 
:         34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned 
:         four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
: 
:         35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
: 
:         36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine 
:         women.
: 
:         37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
: 
:         38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at 
:         all.
: 
:         39. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
: 
:         40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
: 
:         41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
: 
:         42. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
: 
:         43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the 
:         women he couldn't.
: 
:         44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the 
:         stick.
: 
:         45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
: 
:         46. Never say no.
: 
:         47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
: 
:         48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
: 
:         49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
: 
:         50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
: 
:         51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
: 
:         52. Love comes in spurts.
: 
:         53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
: 
:         54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other 
:         eight are unimportant.
: 
:         55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
: 
:         56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
: 
:         57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they 
:         fall in love.
: 
:         58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
: 
:         59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
: 
:         60. "This won't hurt, I promise."
: 
: -- 
:  ******************************************************************************
:  Tim T. Preston                     *  Freudian Slip:
:  Box 2654 Buena Vista College       *  
:  610 West 4th Street                *   "That's when you say one thing and 
:  Storm Lake, IA  50588              *    mean a mother."  Cliff (Cheers)
:                                     *   
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:  Internet   :  Prestontim@Snoopy.Bvc.Edu
:  Home Phone : (712) 749-3474
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