HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: goodbye..
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 17:43:52 GMT

Well, peevers, I have a doozy of a peeve for you.

Today we finally had to say goodbye to a sweet loving soul, our 15-year
old Dobie "puppy", Pepper. For months now Gail and I have known that we
would have to put her to sleep before the weather got colder. But bringing
ourselves to this final act of kindness has been so hard. This morning we
had to finally go through with it.

Her life enriched us greatly. She was beautiful, both in the physical and
spiritual sense. In every way she was an ideal pet, a member of our
family, with her fine personality. 

Poor BK, our 9-year old cat, loved this dog so. He and Pepper were the
always best of friends, and I know he will soon be grieving her loss too.

So, we all three have to say: 

	Goodbye, our precious Pepper. We will never forget you.

L.
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Hare Triggers
Date: 9 Oct 92 20:25:54 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Oct9.062206.11854@netcom.com> rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon) 
writes:

>Peeve: Missing asterices to match. 
	        ^^^^^^^^^


You did that on purpose, didn't you?



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: /home/ludviga/cindy/.organization
Date: 7 Oct 92 22:18:13

Tim Mefford writes:
>Obpeeve: I've managed to disgust myself with my own cooking.  In an
>experimental venture, I attempted to wing, so to speak, a dish of
>chicken parmiagiani.  So simple it couldn't go wrong, I thought,
wrongly.
>It just tasted bad.  The group has been somewhat boring lately anyway,
>someone should post some recipes that actually work.

Rice-thingie
------------

Cook up about 2 or 2.5 dl of rice, following the directions on the
package.  While that's boiling, fry up some ground beef (1/4 kg).
Grab anything that looks good and dump it into the frying pan shortly
before the ground beef finishes cooking.  I like a can of corn and a
small jar of spaghetti sauce, plus spices varying according to how
much i care what my breath smells like in the morning.  Mix into rice
when finished.  Serves two, one if you're extremely hungry.

Now, if you want a recipe for pained whale... i could probably ask
around...

ObPeeve: This is the only newsgroup where i feel safe joking about
whales.  I have never eaten whale in my life, and frankly i'm not
that interested.  When i think of whales i think of lamp oil, and that
stuff they throw up that used to be put in expensive perfumes.  Not
food.  However, when the Norwegian government announced whaling would
be permitted again, i started to get hate e-mail simply because i have
a Norwegian e-mail address.  Feh.

Now i know what i should have done.  Mailed back a recipe for reindeer
steak.  (Available on request.)

-Cindy Kandolf
 cindy@solan.unit.no
 Trondheim, Norway



Xref: sparky alt.peeves:15611 misc.misc:3531
From: dave@frackit.UUCP (Dave Ratcliffe)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,misc.misc
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Date: 13 Oct 92 22:39:51 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Data Factory Services, Harrisburg, Pa.


 In article <BvtF6L.KKF@encore.com>, dlwilson@fenix.encore.com (David L Wilson) writes:
 > > mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Bones") writes:
 > >> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
 > >>   One of these days I am
 > >>   going to go on a rampage and start shooting people who say "filming" when
 > >>   they are referring to videotape.
 
 > >    But it'll have to wait, because you're still busy rubbing out the
 > >people who ask for a `head of cabbage' in the greengrocer's.  Has anyone
 
 > And don't forget those illiterates who say "nucular".  Die rat bastard!!
 
 These are the same people who, when they were younger, would go to the
 local music store to buy the latest record 'alblums'. 
 
 Why can't Johnny read? Hell! He can't spell either!





-- 
 ...uunet!wa3wbu!frackit!dave -or-                       |  Dave Ratcliffe  |
 frackit!dave@uunet.UU.NET -or- dave@frackit.uucp -or-   |  Sys. <*> Admin. |
 vogon1!compnect!frackit!dave@psuvax1.psu.edu            | Harrisburg,  Pa. |
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Hare Triggers
Date: Fri, 09 Oct 92 06:49:20 GMT
Organization: Elvis posting from home

In article <1992Oct9.031325.12488@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>In article <1992Oct8.234220.641@wetware.com> diana@wetware.com (CatWoman ) writes:
>>A TestosteroneMeasurementDevice is sold on the open
>>market under the name of a Remote Control Unit.
>
>*Mine's* programmable.  Nyah!


Oh yeah? *Mine* has to be beaten to work. So there!

-- 
We've replaced the fine baby Jesus we normally use with Folgers crystals.
Let's see if they notice the difference.
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Assorted peeves (collect 'em, trade 'em with your friends)References: <1992Oct6.161131.1689@nlm.nih.gov> <1992Oct7.085804.7994@ac.dal.ca>
Date: 8 Oct 92 17:31:33 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



!Peeve:  Any posting from Mike Sybok can be *counted on* to bring Curtis
         out of the woodwork.  


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,misc.misc
From: Blair.Haworth@bbs.oit.unc.edu (Blair Haworth)
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Organization: Extended Bulletin Board Service
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 13:57:15 GMT

In article <1992Oct11.220632.21494@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:
>
>Yes, illiterates like Jimmy Carter, who has a *degree* in "Nucular
>Physics*, so he says.
>
>!Peeve: *Nobody* from Georgia really talks like Jimmy does.  Dunno where
>he got his accent, but it ain't from Plains, Georgia.
>

Probably the poor bugger distorted it himself at Annapolis, unsuccessfully
trying to standardize his speech from self-consciousness at standing out
in a sea of conformist authoritarian Yankees, many of whom could make him
drop for twenty for talking funny.  Actually, accusing him of saying
"nucular" is a bit of a canard; he used a unique phoneme-cluster of his
own, something like "nookier" physics. 

Peeve: Disappointment that I couldn't study that in college (for credit)
drove me to the liberal arts. 

--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  bbs.oit.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Stop Me if You've heard This one...
Date: 14 Oct 92 11:24:38 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper

cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:
] 
] Actually, drieux, Norskies tell more jokes about Swedes than they
] do about Finns.  
] 
] Peeve: Swedish jokes.  They're a rehash on the same old tired
] ethnic joke themes everyone tells... but there are a few low-watt
] bulbs around here who expect me to split my sides laughing at them.


What is the difference Between a Nice Norwegian Girl
and a Swedish Girl?

The Swedish Girl Not only Knows what sex is,
she enjoys it Too!!!!!!


Ha! HA! HA! HA!

Is Old Standard Funny One from St.Olaf College,
High Upon the Hill.....

And We Got Last Laugh On Norway, we sent the
President of College there as Ambassador from USA!!!!!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

He Was Sparkingling DimBulb as College President Too!

ciao
driuex

ps: I would Like to apologize to the Swedish Girls
out there who Know it is Not True, and have been
the Brunt of this Brutish Joke for Years.



-- 
Modern Day Problems:
In any case, don't give up, just type slower :-).
Chimo
Bob.
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: Thu, 08 Oct 1992 11:42:35 GMT
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00 beta rel2

In article <1992Oct8.010638.7439@usage.csd.unsw.OZ.AU>, Allan H. Evans writes:

> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
> >
> >ObPeeve:  I have a coffee maker in my palatial penthouse offices.  Sometimes
> >          I'll make a pot (Maxwell House Columbian Supreme - the best!) 
> 
> Uh, Bill, have you ever tried buying whole beans from a coffee shop and 
> grinding them fresh? Comments like this remind me of someone talking about
> cheese:
> 
> --- Have you tried Kraft Cracker Barrel? The best!
> 
> Methinks Tasmanian King Island chedder might have an edge. As a matter of

Now whilst I still haven't forgiven Al for being a thickheaded
Canadian [:-)^H^H^H], I cannot jeer at his choice in cheese.

Most King Island creams and cheeses are pure ambrosia.

Have you tried King Island Camembert?  Bloody terrific stuff.
Nuked in the microwave for no longer than 35 seconds [on medium
setting], and then cut up into chunks as desired, spread, oozing,
onto [large] Carr's Table Water crackers.  If you're feeling
piggish, some pate could be allowed to share the same plate, but
not too much pate.

Lasts about 2.5 minutes if you're careful. :-(

Peeve: The expensiveness rating of King Island products.

Dac
--
dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_

** NOTE ** my mailfeed is currently UP!
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Subject: Re: Self-Assembly (was Caffeine and mornings)
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Organization: International FurHarvester: Combine a Commie for Christ
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 03:37:44 GMT

In article <1992Oct9.210452.14285@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:

>Sure - got their catalog right here.  Dragon's Breath: $16.95/3
>rounds.  As long as I'm placing the order, how about some flares at
>$8.95/5 or some boomers at $9.95/10?  There're also some heavy rubber
>slugs at $8.95/5 or some non-lethal Zytel rounds at $14.95/5.  
>Ahhh, here's one to get the ol' testosterone flowing: "The Shredder"
>"Dozens of razor sharp tacks blast out at a very high velocity which
>virtually guarantees there to be no response from a perpetrator."
>
>Kind of makes you proud to be an American.  Or something.  I guess.

	A while back, on sci.military or perhaps rec.guns, I told of
trying the old trick of loading a 12ga shell with dimes.  As I'm sure
somebody of Russ' stature will be certain to have access to a shotshell
reloader, he may give it a try and report his findings too.  The test
volunteers were rats at a local grain elevator near a landfill.  There
were lots of them.  My friends and I shot off about 20 rounds, and
discovered that at ranges over about 15 feet the target often escaped
unscathed, though occassionally gutted.  Below this distance, the
rat was instantly transformed into a pile of fur and a large stain.
It sort of reminded me just how Yankee ingenuity helped tame the savage
continent that was America.


--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ljz57640@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Laura0003 )
Subject: Re: Cowardly Jesus Freaks (deh130@psuvm.psu.edu this means you)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 04:21:25 GMT

bls101@deakin.anu.edu.au (The New, Improved Brian Scearce) writes:


>Why is it that whenever I post something to alt.peeves which even vaguely
>takes the "Lord's" name in vain or fails to honour "Family values" that
>Jesus freaks feel compelled to respond?
>Their e-mail messages (they never have the courage to post their opinions)
>invariably begin by saying "I don't want to preach but...", after which
>they preach at length.  Their homilies usually take the form of scolding me
>for not being grateful for all I've got but instead being selfish and
>inconsiderate.  They chide me for bitching and complaining instead of being
>thankful for all the things they believe their god gave me.

They're insecure... plain and simple.

>HEY, get a CLUE!  I was posting to alt.peeves, not
>alt.looking.on.the.bright.side, not alt.being.grateful.for.what.you've.got.
>No, I posted to ALT.FUCKING.PEEVES!

Ooooh... not just peeves.... but FUCKING peeves!  Hmmm... if all my peeves
were fucking peeves, then I would have more children than anyone else on this
planet (or other planets, for that matter)!

>These e-mail messages are invariably full of grammatical errors and
>spelling mistakes.

Peeve:  I absolutely cannot STAND people who don't know how to spell things
	correctly (ok, so I'm anal-retentive so sue me).  It makes a mockery
	of the English language...

>                    They also display the sender's lack of ability to use
>basic tools.  In a feeble attempt at anonymity they don't sign their name
>but fail to correctly edit their messages headers so their return address
>remains.  They also never seem to have grasped the simple notion of hitting
>a return at the end of every line.  They are plainly and clearly terminally
>clueless.

Face it... they're stupid.  The world is full of STUPID people.  You can't
escape them... they're everywhere; at work, in class, on the bus, in your 
face, underfoot... all the @#!&* time!!!  ARRRGH!!!  I want to kill them all.

>Peeve:  Why isn't evolution removing these fucquestaynes from the gene
>pool?

Because there's just too MANY of them to keep track of them all!  Just when 
you think you're rid of them all, you turn around and there are more!  ARGH!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Laura J. Zurawski              |   "L'enfer, c'est les autres"
ljz57640@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu      |
Juni@uiuc.edu                  |                       --Jean-Paul Sartre
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 20:58:26 GMT

>Kiran Wagle writes:
>>How plebeian.
>>This is a bloody _whale_ i bought; all you can do is stir-fry the bugger?

cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:

>are frying and stewing.  Seems to me the stewing leaves more room for 
>creativity - preferably with other foods which have been deemed too
>"cute" to eat.  Take a big pot out and have a picnic the next time
>Greenpeace demonstrates in your area.  

Heh.  And what shall we put in this pot?  Rabbit tenderloins, that's
for sure.  Reindeer meat?  They're even cuter than Bambi.  And we can
serve it in a sea turtle shell with a puff pastry crust made of bear
fat.  (Since bears taste like fish, this would go with the aquatic
motif.  (I'm told the best pie crusts are made from bear fat...))

>>In Finland, I'm told, you can get reindeer and cloudberry pizza.

>Cloudberries on pizza?  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!

Mmm, sounds like my kind of food.

>Peeve: Cloudberries, or rather rabid cloudberry fans.  I have tried

I've never tried them.  Feel free to ship me your next bountiful
harvest, along with a reindeer steak or two.  I'll make em into pizza
and invite you over for something else.  Do you like squid?  That
makes great pizza, with red and yellow bell peppers and garlic.

-- 

Kiran Wagle                           <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Just Wondering...
Date: 13 Oct 92 18:03:35 GMT
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 92Oct7215548@solan10.solan.unit.no, cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:
> Me, i have broad shoulders to start with.

Well of course you do.  And I have man shoulders.

Peeve: tautological postings.

---
Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
        The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
          It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.nonsequitor
Subject: Re: HowDoYouDoIt? (Was: Contest Time Kiddies)
Date: 14 Oct 92 13:05:52 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper

ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:

] <In article <1992Oct10.215018.6653@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
] 
] <   Well the biggest difference between Geoff and Myself
] <   is that He can NOT pronounce his NAME, and I CAN.
] 
] 	Ok, how do *you* pronounce Geoff's name, AnDrieuxieux?

correctly,

how else?

ciao
drieux


ps: its that time of reality when suddenly you
notice italics showing up in a TERMCAP entry
that knows no daigoes.....


-- 
Modern Day Problems:
In any case, don't give up, just type slower :-).
Chimo
Bob.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Nominations are in order (was Story: choose the proper weapon for the job)
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Peevetown PAC
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 21:13:59 GMT


In article <1992Oct6.162741.24335@cas.org>, esp51@cas.org () writes:
[news article deleted]

I proudly nominate Scott Park for Peevetown Dispatch editor-in-chief!
The cat has a nose fer nooz.

--
Nolan "Adjust the FAX, ma'am" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"Texas is like an old woman's pussy.  Everyone knows its down there but
nobody gives a fuck."  - Overheard on CB radio, compliments of 
	bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: idjits
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 14:08:26 GMT
Distribution: world,local
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <ldbe6iINNf2h@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>Nice tits.  Wanna screw?

Why, Geoff, they told me you'd play hard to get...

Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Cleanliness is next to the soapdish over there (Was Re: Chunderation
Keywords: driving, porcelain, bus
Date: 14 Oct 92 20:54:34 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <Bw2Muu.tq@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>In article <ldksaaINNep4@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>>(Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:

[rant rant, froth froth and a couple of silly spelling flames.]

>>>So calling literate people illiterate makes you feel that your doing your
>>>little part to keep the world clean?  
>>
>>Exactly.  They can either be cleaned up to the point they're
>>literate or they should be discarded and buried.
>
>Cleanliness is next to literacy???  Hmmm, you've been reading too much
>about the unwashed masses.  You see, Andy, you can't combat illiteracy with 
>soap.  Hard to believe, I know, but true.

Peeve: Pissing contests. We are here to complain, dammit.

ObSnottyQuote:
"Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are
more deadly in the long run."

			-Mark Twain

My take is leave them alone and let them be stupid and dirty. If someone
wants to wallow in the filth of illiteracy, let that person wallow. If
someone wants to be literate, I would be happy to escort that person
to a library and help fill out the library card.

Peeve: Telling people how to think doesn't work. They always have stupid
ideas of their own.

Peeve: People telling me how to think. No thank you, my brain is fried
on enough bad liquor and trash fiction as it is. Its a wonder I can
tie my shoelaces, let alone read Dorothy Parker and nod vigorously.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I would
 not be surprised. " -- Dorothy Parker
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Bicycle Peeves
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 92 05:08:22 GMT

In <ldpdp9INNshb@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>!Peeve:  Immediately after the end of the debate, as the camera pulled back
>a bit from the moderator to reveal the crowd, I saw The Billster himself.
>No lie -- several rows out, stage right.  Congratulations, Mr. Berbenich;
>you can now say you've been on national television.

I believe that was right before I got into a rather loud exchange with some
of the Bush/Quayle goon-squad over the economic failures of supply-side/
trickle down economics.  As is usually the case, they blamed the deficit
on the tax-and-spend crowd.

Tax-and-spend liberals, borrow-and-spend Reaganites.  They both love my
money.  The liberals spend the money I just earned, the Reaganites spend
the money I will earn.

Did you happen to notice if I was scratching my butt?  The entire audience
had to be in our seats an hour ahead of the debate and we were forbidden
from leaving our seats during the debate and they wouldn't let us out of
the place until all of the candidates had left.  As a result of having to
sit for two-and-one-half hours, my butt/bum was asleep.  As a result, I
rubbed it a lot when I could finally stand.

ObPeeve:  Being made to stay seated for two-and-one-half hours.  I felt
          like I was back in 2nd grade.

ObGun:   I'm a real H&K MP5 fan.  Imagine my thrill when the wind blew
         back the jacket of an agent of a certain federal agency and I
         caught a glimpse of one in a shoulder sling.  This was from
         less than two feet away.  I believe I gasped audibly.  I am
         certain that I had an erection.
--
"Yes, he really said that!"