From: anon-1214@twwells.com (Just a Anon Poster)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Some stuff
Date: 18 Nov 92 05:09:32 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

>From: anon-1308@twwells.com (Boo-Boo)
>Date: 13 Nov 92 20:17:40 GMT
>
>Hi, everyone!
>
>This is my first time using an anonymous alias, although I've posted to the 
>service before.  I am switching to anonymous because there are some people 
>with net access that I don't want knowing that I'm posting this stuff.  I
>haven't posted in a while, so it's good to see all of you again.

Thank you for posting again!  This has given me the strength do start posting
again too.  I thought that I would be the only person out there who would be
switching TO an anon account, and would therefore stick out like a sore thumb.
(I too stopped posting because there are some people with net access that I
don't want knowing this stuff.)

>I wanted to add my thoughts on suicide.  I have tried to kill myself twice.
>Both times, I changed my mind partway through, and called for help.  The
>reason that I stopped myself both times is that I had a friend kill himself
>when I was 19, and I couldn't forget how shitty I felt when I found out that
>he had killed himself.  He didn't even try to get in touch with me before he
>did it, and I as really angry, and hurt.  I think that he killed himself for
>the same reason that I tried, sexual abuse.

Ouch.  In my case it was an aquantence that tried, rather than a good friend.

>        I gave up suicide as an option for myself a couple of years ago, but
>it is still very hard for me to deal with in others.  It used to be the way
>that I stayed alive.  I had a plan every day for as far back as I can
>remember (8 or so), and I used the plan to tell myself, whenever I couldn't
>take it anymore, I'd check out.  I saw suicide as my reward for fighting the
>bastards for so many years, and I believed that this was my way of taking
>control of my body.

At least you were able to plan.  And you were able to give up suicide as an
option.  I wish I could to the same!

>        The difficult part about this is that I still believe that suicide is
>everyone's right, and that it is the last resort for taking power over my
>life.
>It is not an option for me today, and it hasn't been for a long time, but I
>don't know exactly what to say if someone calls up and tells me that they are
>suicidal.  I don't feel comfortable telling someone else not to kill
>themselves.  I guess that all I can do is tell them how I feel.  I care for
>my friends, and I would miss them if they killed themselves, but it isn't my
>life.
>God, that's hard to think about!

I'll agree with you on all of these points!

>        Oh, well.  Now that I've thoroughly obscured the topic ...
>Take care, and e-hugs to all who want them.
>
>-Boo-Boo

Thank you, and more E-Hugs to all who want them!



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