From: wdo@IEDV4.acd.com ( Bill Overpeck (TE)  )
Subject: Re: Darned Antagonistic Medieval Attitudes 
Organization: Applied Computing Devices, Inc., Terre Haute IN
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 13:27:48 GMT

In <1992Mar24.233410.17612@adobe.com> kendall@adobe.com 
   (Janice Kendall) writes: >
In article <1992Mar24.200900.28907@acd4.acd.com> wdo@IEDV4.acd.com 
   ( Bill Overpeck (TE)  ) writes: >>

>>But I just don't know *how* to demonstrate respect for women, Eric.
>>I try to do and say the right things, but it just seems to come out 
>>all wrong.  My Dale Carnegie course wasn't no help.  Neither was my
>>bottle of Aqua Velva (there's something about an Aqua Velva man).  I
>>eat Certs like they was candy, and my hand is sore from opening doors
>>but it don't do no good.  Once they find out about my medieval atti-
>>tudes, it's goodnight Irene.  Heck, I even bought a dozen brownies at 
>>the NOW Bake Sale to demonstrate my good intentions.  No luck.  They
>>all just glared at me. 
>>
>>I guess you're right; I'll never get me a good woman 'til I learn
>>some modern attitudes.

> If you HAVE respect for women/people, you don't have to TRY to say
> and do the right things, they just happen natrually!

I agree, Janice.  Behavior is the most significant reflection of
attitude.  

> You may well have tongue-in-cheek - but I would like to respond.
> I know that my feminism is driven by a desire to be treated as a
> real person, with real feelings, and the ability to think.  The
> equality that I desire is simply the equal chance to pursue what-
> ever it is that brings fulfillment into my life.  There are very
> real differences between men and women - and I acknowledge and
> cherish those differences.  I don't ever desire to be the same
> as a man.  I love being a woman.  And I love men!
>
> What I don't want is to treated like a "sweet young thang".  I
> don't want to be patted on the head and told not to worry about
> it.  I don't want to be questioned as to why I would want to do
> "a man's job"  (because the pay is much better than a woman's
> job and it's boring, for me, to stay home barefoot and pregnant
> and I'm not good at cooking or sewing...).
>
> I am an individual.  I am a human being.  I do have a soul.
> I am no more nor less emotional and frail than the average man.
> Treat me as you yourself would want to be treated.
>
> My mate and I operate on the basis of, if you see something that 
> needs to be done, you do it.  If you want something, you get it 
> and offer to get something for the other.  Very give-give.  It's
> an extremely satisfying relationship.
>
> Don't you enjoy having control over how you live your life?  I do.
> I'm very glad I did not live in this country at the time when women
> were considered the property of men.

I included your entire text because there's no part of it with which
I disagree.  As you inferred, my post was facetious.

> PS: Opening doors is an example of being courteous.  I don't distinguish
> between men and women here.  I don't understand the problem some men have 
> when I hold open the door for them - they just can't seem to go through it...
   
When I was a child, I was taught that polite men opened doors for women
(I'm 37).  Growing up, I learned to be polite.  Then, about 15 years ago
the rules changed very rapidly.  I have since regretted opening doors for 
cold, glaring women on numerous occasions.  Now, I have no real problem
with changing customs.  But I have a major problem with indignant women
who are too shallow to acknowledge a simple kindness.  Anyway, that's
obviously not you.  If you ever open a door for me, I will go through
appreciatively.

Bill