From: jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.rush-limbaugh
Subject: Summary Fri 12/11/92
Summary: Unofficial Summary for Friday, December 11, 1992
Keywords: Unofficial Summary Rush Limbaugh
Date: 18 Dec 92 15:25:40 GMT
Distribution: world,usa,alt,na
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)

Unofficial Summary of the Rush Limbaugh Show

for Friday, December 11, 1992

by John Switzer

NOTE: This is being posted to both alt.fan.rush-limbaugh and
alt.rush-limbaugh and thus you may see it twice if your sysadm
aliases the two newsgroups together. Since most sites don't
support both groups, this double-posting appears to be
unavoidable, however, if anyone has any ideas on how to avoid it,
please let me know. Thanks - jrs@netcom.com.

This unofficial summary is copyright (c) 1992 by John Switzer.
All Rights Reserved. These summaries are distributed on
CompuServe, GEnie, and the Internet, and archived on GEnie (NPC
Roundtable) and Internet (cathouse.aiss.uiuc.edu).  Distribution
to other electronic forums and bulletin boards is highly
encouraged. Spelling and other corrections gratefully received.

Please read the standard disclaimer which was included with the
first summary for this month. In particular, please note that
this summary is not approved or sanctioned by Rush Limbaugh or
the EIB network, nor do I have any connection with them other as
a daily listener.

******************************************************************

December 11, 1992

LIMBAUGH WATCH

December 11, 1992 - It's now 39 days after Bill Clinton's
election and Rush is still on the air with 546 radio affiliates
and 207 TV affiliates, and his book has been on the NY Times
hardback non-fiction best-seller list for 12 consecutive weeks
and is currently number one on the list.

MORNING UPDATE

In an amazing and unbelievable story, it's now become possible
for a totally fictional character to be guilty of sexual
harassment. Shaun Brown, a sophomore in political science at the
University of Michigan, recently turned in a paper on the process
of polling. In the paper, Brown used an anecdote about a
fictional character to make a point. In the anecdote, the
character "Dave Stud" refuses to participate in a telephone poll
because he is "busy entertaining three beautiful ladies."

Debra Meislisch, a teaching assistant who graded Brown's paper,
was outraged. She gave Brown a bad grade, and wrote the following
on it: "This is ludicrous and inappropriate and offensive. It
completely violates the standard of non-sexist writing."

Meislisch then complained to the professor of the class. The
professor encouraged her to interpret these remarks as sexual
harassment and then to take the "appropriate steps." Thus,
Meislisch told Brown that she wouldn't press charges against him
this time, but "any future comments in a paper, in class, or in
any dealings with me will be interpreted as sexual harassment and
formal steps will be taken. You have been forewarned!"

Rush points out that he predicted this kind of idiocy would be
the result of how sexual harassment is now being used as a
political weapon.

FIRST HOUR

Rush tells his faithful listeners that they are truly fortunate
that he is even on the air, given the weather problems that the
East Coast is experiencing right now. New York City's mass
transit is not even running today because of floods and gale-
force winds. In some areas, the rain is being blown so strongly
that it is even parallel to the ground.

Rush did manage to get to Washington last night, though, so that
he could attend one of this year's White House Christmas parties.
He remarks that it's a shame more people don't visit the White
House during the Christmas season because the entire place is
beautifully decorated, and it's like returning to one's
childhood.

President and Mrs. Bush are holding six Christmas parties this
year so as to accommodate everyone they wanted to invite. Of
course the mood this year was a bit melancholy since this is the
Bush's last Christmas in the White House, but the President and
his wife still played the best of hosts, even to the point of
standing in one room for over three hours so that all of the
guests could get their picture taken with them.

People were even getting their pictures taken with Millie and the
other Bush dogs, and Rush enjoyed the evening, which gave him a
tremendous opportunity to see parts of the White House that most
people never get to see. However, getting down there and back
proved to be a Herculean task.

Yesterday afternoon Rush took the Delta shuttle down to DC, and
he never experienced the turbulence he did landing in DC; it was
a "nail-biting landing," and Rush's shuttle barely made it into
National Airport before the airport was closed because of the
winds. Rush didn't realize this, though, until he arrived back at
the airport after the party for his return trip.

Rush saw that all of the flights were cancelled because the winds
were over 50 m.p.h., and so the FAA required the airport to shut
down. Fortunately, Rush always plans ahead and thus had reserved
some hotel rooms for just this sort of contingency. However, Rush
is still wearing the same clothes he did yesterday (and his staff
pays so little attention to him that they didn't notice), because
he arrived in DC with just his wallet and a ballpoint pen.

Furthermore, Rush was able to get only the regular $150 a night
rooms, which, he states, "is so beneath my standards - it was
tough duty!" Room service was so bad that it offered only steak,
prime rib, and club sandwiches, and Rush never eats that "kind of
slop." Rush marvels at how much he had to sacrifice for this trip
because he was "really roughing it."

Rush ended up eating in the hotel's restaurant, and although its
food was fine, a few tables away a "couple of San Diego commies"
noticed him and needled him throughout the dinner by talking just
loudly enough so that he could hear their jokes about
conservatives. Rush, of course, didn't allow these guys to get
his goat and so he refused to respond or even notice them.

Of course, one of these guys had the chutzpah to ask Rush as he
was leaving "I hate you, but my wife loves you, so can I get your
autograph for her?" Rush did not "make gestures" or treat this
guy as he deserved, but dutifully signed the autograph.

Obviously, Rush made it back to New York, but he admits that the
flight back to NYC was worse than his flight to DC. The winds
were still blowing strongly and the rain was coming down in
sheets, and after arriving at La Guardia it took a two full hours
to get to the EIB Building.

Thus, Rush didn't have a chance to freshen up at his apartment
before arriving at the EIB studios, and so he feels "grungy." Of
course, grungy for Rush is still head and shoulders above most
people, but "the second day is the second day." To cap everything
else off, when Bo Snerdley arrived at work, he launched into a
long complaint about how hard it was for him to get to work from
New Jersey because mass transit wasn't working.

Rush notes he could have just shined today's show and let the
staff put on a tape of previous shows or get a guest host;
however, he is dedicated to his listeners and thus "suffered the
hardships of life" to get back to New York. The last thing he
wanted to hear, however, was Bo Snerdley's sniveling about his
"awful" commute.

The rest of the EIB staff start parading in and telling Rush
about the problems they had coming in to work, and Rush replies
"my heart bleeds for you people." He notes that he tried to get
back to work at 8:30 last night, and he didn't make it until
shortly before the show started. He had to endure conservative
jokes, sleep in a regular hotel room, fly coach on a dangerous
shuttle flight, wear the same clothes two days in a row, and
forgo his usual toiletries.

Rush points out he is wearing the worst-smelling aftershave he's
ever worn, but he had to use some of it to keep his face "from
stinging after shaving with the cheap, little disposable razor I
had to steal from the gift shop last night. And then I didn't
have a blow dryer and so my hair is as flat as a witch!"

Furthermore, Rush didn't even have a toothbrush and had to brush
his teeth by putting toothpaste on his finger. "You people don't
know the hardships," he complains. The EIB staff tells him that
they feel his pain, and Rush admits this is a beautiful thing for
them to do.

However, he still thinks that the audience should be thrilled
that he endured "this pain and these hardships" to show up for
work and keep his listeners company for yet another day.

Also, there are some important issues in today's news which need
Rush's attention. For example, NASA claims it has "conclusive
proof" that the ozone hole is man-made and worse than previously
thought. Supposedly, the Antarctica is acting like a giant
whirlpool and is sucking the rest of the world's ozone into it.
However, the Houston Chronicle has a story that claims the entire
ozone scare is a hoax. Rush promises more on this later.

*BREAK*

Items

o       Rush loves winter weather because it promotes coziness,
but at the same time it's a hassle and deals harshly with most
people's lives. He notes that he only got two hours of sleep last
night since he had to get up early to catch the shuttle to get
back to New York. Thus, Rush is feeling giddy, but as usual will
do his best to stay focused on the major issues of the day.

o       Of course, one of the major issues being discussed today
is the disintegrating marriage of Prince Charles and Princess Di.
Rush confesses that he doesn't care about this at all, and for
that matter he doesn't understand why this story has been front
page news. The monarchy is a symbolic thing, and so why does it
matter if Princess Di became queen?

Rush admits that divorce and the breakup of marriage is a sad
thing, but he now has to wonder if he's gotten out of touch with
people. One person explained it to him by saying that this was
important because the British Royal Family is the last great
remaining western tradition.

Rush, though, doesn't think the Royal Families have been much of
a role model for some time, and in fact have been more of a
living amusement park and tourist attraction than anything else.
In particular, the Royal Family has always had "adventuresome
types" who attract public attention. Rush therefore has to admit
that he simply doesn't understand what all the fuss is about.

*BREAK*

On the issue of gays in the military, Rush thinks Clinton had
better get ahold of the gay activists and tell them a thing or
two. The American people are waiting to see what Clinton will do
on this issue, because it will be the first test of whether he
will follow through on all of his various promises.

Many of those who support lifting the ban on gays in the military
claim that it's ridiculous to fear that gays in the military will
pursue or sexually assault other soldiers. However, Queer Nation
just held a "kiss-in" outside of Sam Nunn's office to protest
Nunn's opposition to gays in the military and his firing of some
gay staff members.

Most movements in America are defined by the extremists of those
movements, because those are the people who get the coverage.
Rush, for example, judges feminism by what the feminazis and
other feminist extremists do, while liberals similarly judge
conservatives by what the extremist right wingers do.

Thus, people are going to look at things like Queer Nation's
kiss-in and compare them to the homosexual lobby's claim that
homosexuals are not going to harass or attack others. This is
going to be a problem for Clinton, and he needs to get ahold of
these people and tell them to tone down their demonstrations
because otherwise public support for their cause is going to
dwindle. Rush suspects that this kind of "help" will end up
hurting Clinton.

Phone   Juanita from Placentia, CA

Juanita gives "mucho-megadittos from Rio Linda, CA," given that
"there's not a hell of a lot of difference" between Placentia and
Rio Linda. She would like Rush to comment on Senator Bentsen's
comment that he has been an "outsider" in Washington for the past
12 years.

Rush doesn't think this is true, and he recalls how the Wall
Street Journal reported that there have been two Lloyd Bentsens
during his career - "there have been Bentsens and there have been
Hedges." Rush thinks this is a great line, given that the pre-
Reagan Bentsen was as good a southern "Reagan Democrat" as anyone
could find. After Reagan's election, though, Bentsen turned
around and adopted the liberal Democratic party line of
criticizing Reagan at every turn.

However, Bentsen's legislative actions did not conform to his
rhetoric, and so many think his selection as Treasury Secretary
is a good sign. Rush notes, though, that if Bentsen had been a
Republican he would have already been driven out of the Senate on
ethics charges - he charged constituents $10,000 to have
breakfast with him, he belongs to all-white country clubs, and so
forth. Of course, the Democrats and liberal media don't complain
about this at all.

It is ridiculous, though, for the 71-year-old Bentsen, who has
been in Congress for decades and is Chairman of the Senate
Finance committee to pretend to be an outsider. However, Bentsen
becoming Treasury Secretary is not bad, especially given the
other candidates Clinton could have nominated. Even Jack Kemp
said that it would be a good sign if Bentsen (or Paul Volcker)
headed the Treasury.

Clinton's other appointments, though, certainly do cancel out
much of the good of Bentsen's appointment. Juanita agrees he has
too many socialists, and Rush adds that a telling thing will be
how much Clinton empowers each of his choices. They may be
window-dressing or may have real power, and only time will tell.

Bentsen, though, understands the American economy and knows what
is needed for real economic growth. He's for eliminating or
lowering the capital gains tax, supports investment tax credits,
and so forth. Granted, Bentsen supports higher income taxes on
the rich, but he then is willing to turn around and give the rich
ways to get around them.

It's clear that Bentsen is not as bad as a choice as he could
have been, but it's still business as usual in Washington, DC.
Juanita agrees and says that Bentsen's claim to be an outsider
just rubs her raw. Rush says that Clinton has to convince the
America people that he is following through on his promises for
"change." Bentsen can make a case for being an outsider, though,
given that he has been as harsh a critic of Reagan and Bush as
anyone.

Juanita also wants to ask Rush one thing about his telepathic
orgasm show - "was it as good for you as it was for me?" Rush
admits it was and thanks her for calling.

Phone   Steve from Atlantic City, NJ

Steve is a first-time caller and hopes Rush will give him enough
time to make his point. Rush replies his show allocates time to
callers based on how good each call is. Steve says that he thinks
Rush lost a lot of credibility this week when he said that he
didn't know if homosexuals should be in the military. Steve wants
to know why Rush is so uncertain "on one of the most important
issues of our time."

Rush says that he is not uncertain at all; his comments earlier
this week were to highlight that he was agreeing with the
military experts on this matter. It's the military experts who
should decide this, and they have come out against gays in the
military. Rush doesn't consider the military to be a cultural or
social issue; the military is "real serious stuff" that should
not be controlled by the "pop psychology icons of the day."

Rush also points out that Steve is a liar - he told Bo that he
wanted to talk about Rush's TV show in Philadelphia, but then
switched his subject to gays on military. "You, sir, are
history," Rush tells him, "but after I've answered your
question."

*BREAK*

Rush says some may think he was rude to Steve, but his show does
have rules. Rush does not keep confrontational or disagreeing
callers off the air, but he does determine who will make it on
the air on the basis of what the caller wants to talk about.
People do not have to be dishonest to get on the show, and in
fact being dishonest only hurts one's chances of remaining on the
air.

Rush points out he dealt with the caller's question, adding that
he would have been glad to talk with Steve had he been honest
about his subject.

Phone   Matthew from Sacramento, CA

Matthew wants to talk about something else but first wants to say
that Steve reminds him of how gays have lied to get into the
military - Steve lied to get on Rush's show. Rush doesn't know if
Steve was gay, but he comments that he would have been happy to
talk to Steve about gays in the military had Steve been honest.
Had Steve told Bo his real topic, Bo would have moved him to the
top of the queue because it's hard to get callers who disagree
with Rush.

Matthew agrees, and says that the only problem he has with gays
is that gays congregate wherever they are - New York, San
Francisco, etc. Thus, if gays are openly admitted to the
military, they will probably congregate there and this will deter
a lot of heterosexuals from going into the military.

Rush thinks the latter portion of Matthew's fear may be
justified, but gays may be congregating in the military now
already. He recently was at a dinner party during which this
issue was heatedly discussed, and people's opposition to having
gays in the military ran from Matthew's fear of discouraging
heterosexuals from joining to the fears of infection with AIDS
during war and of having the camaraderie of the military
destroyed.

One supporter of having gays in the military argued that the same
arguments being used against gays were used before World War II
to keep blacks out. Thus, this guy thinks society is just going
through the next level of civil rights advancement. Rush has no
doubts that there have been many homosexual heroes in the
military, but the issue is what will result from the lifting of
the ban on gays in the military.

If lifting the ban on gays reduces the number of volunteers
coming in, then what will the ramifications of this be? These
things have to be evaluated under the idea of finding out what is
best for the military, given its definite purpose. You can't
evaluate this issue under the pop culture of the day, but only in
the context of what the military's mission is.

Many of the people who want gays in the military think it is now
composed of a bunch of "Rambos" who are just waiting for their
next chance to kill people. There may be a very few soldiers like
this, but this is not a description of the vast majority of
soldiers. The generals and admirals in particular are intelligent
and well-read, which can be seen in any study of military
history.

Rush points out that World War II was fought against two enemies
- Japan and Germany - which could have ended the United States.
The same dangers don't exist when considering things such as
whether Marge Schott should remain in baseball after making
racist comments. Certainly civil rights issues are important, but
going one way or another on sexual harassment or having a cabinet
that looks like America is not going to destroy the country.

Not having an effective military could spell the end of the
country, however, and thus the US military must be treated from
this perspective. Rush holds Matthew over the break, noting that
since Matthew was honest about his subject, he should be given an
opportunity to discuss it.

*BREAK*

Rush comments that he may fly to Chicago next week to catch the
last concert of the season by Mannheim Steamroller.

Phone   Matthew from Sacramento, CA (continued)

Matthew says that the California Jobs Journal is reporting that
the state is having economic problems right now because of
defense cuts, excessive business taxes, high workman's
compensation payments, and too many environmental regulations.
These problems, though, are exactly what Clinton's cures for the
US economy are.

Rush says that this is true, but adds that it will be interesting
to see how effective Clinton can be in retraining all of the
military-related workers his added defense cuts are going to
eliminate. Matthew says that California has lost 220,000 such
jobs because of this already, and he notes that the US's last two
major wars were wars staged by Democratic Presidents - FDR
ignored the warning signs that lead to Pearl Harbor and LBJ
allowed the Gulf of Tonkin to happen.

Rush says that JFK has to be given some credit for the Vietnam
War, too - it would be "unfair" to leave him off the list of
Democratic Presidents who started wars.

*BREAK*

SECOND HOUR

Rush comments on how he has been talking about the mayor of
Boulder, Leslie Dirgen, who stated that she was afraid her city
had too many white, affluent residents. Rush thus came up with
the logical conclusion that to balance out white, affluent people
you needed poor, non-white people.

A reporter from the Boulder Daily Camera called the EIB offices
this morning to arrange an interview with Rush, but she has never
listened to Rush's radio show or seen his TV show. She had only
heard, reported through various sources, about Rush's comments on
the Boulder situation; the reporter was also very defensive of
Mayor Dirgen. Rush and his chief of staff rejected her request
for an interview since it would be pointless until the reporter
got some sense of the context of Rush's remarks.

Update  Sexual Harassment         (Frankie Valli, "My Eyes Adored
You")

At the University of Michigan, Shaun Brown, a sophomore in
political science, recently turned in a paper on the process of
polling. In the paper, Brown used an anecdote about a fictional
character to make a point. In the anecdote, the character "Dave
Stud" refuses to participate in a telephone poll because he is
"busy entertaining three beautiful ladies."

This is basically what the story was, but Debra Meislisch, a
teaching assistant, was outraged when she read the story while
grading the paper. She gave Brown a bad grade, and wrote the
following on it: "This is ludicrous and inappropriate and
offensive. It completely violates the standard of non-sexist
writing."

Rush doesn't know what the "non-sexist" standard is, but what
Brown did was certainly not offensive, abusive, or even sexual.
However, the teaching assistant didn't leave the matter at this,
but also complained to the professor of the class. The professor
encouraged her to interpret these remarks as sexual harassment
and then to take the "appropriate steps."

Rush comments in passing that one of the problems of higher
education is that too many professors are teaching less, and
letting their teaching assistants and graduate students take over
far too many of their teaching duties.

Continuing on with this story, the teaching assistant then told
the sophomore that she wouldn't press charges against him, but
"any future comments in a paper, in class, or in any dealings
with me will be interpreted as sexual harassment and formal steps
will be taken. You have been forewarned!"

Shaun Brown was taken aback by this reaction to this paper and
said "I used that example to make a dry subject more interesting
to read. It wasn't meant to be offensive and I don't think it was
offensive." Rush notes that Brown dropped this class, "forced out
by some lamebrain teaching assistant who can't stand the idea of
some fictional man surrounded by fictional women."

Rush points out that this is the kind of idiocy he has been
warning about with regards to modern feminism and liberalism,
where symbolism over substance is the goal. This teaching
assistant has gotten her noise out of joint by a ridiculous
fictional anecdote, and then threatens the student with sexual
harassment charges.

Brown thus is not even going to get an "L" for this class because
he was forced to drop it by this idiocy. This is "pure
psychobabble," and the one thing Brown's actions are not is
sexual harassment.

In a second story, an Ottawa radio station, CFRA, has banned the
song "Run for Your Life" from the album "Rubble Soul" by the
Beatles because a few female listeners complained that the lyrics
promoted violence against women. The offensive lyrics include:
"I'd rather see you dead, little girl, then see you with another
man."

Feminist groups applauded the radio station for its sensitivity
towards women's issues, but Rush wonders how the political
correctness crowd is going to react to this. Certainly, the
Beatles are the epitome of political correctness, given that John
Lennon also wrote the liberal anthem "Give Peace a Chance." Rush
suspects that the PC crowd will put the onus for "Rush for Your
Life" on Paul McCartney.

The manager of the radio station said four callers complained
last Tuesday about the song, and since "this is a very sensitive
issue in Canada" he felt he needed to take action. Rush has to
wonder how many people listen to this radio station - is it such
a small number that a song can be yanked after four calls?

Rush notes with satisfaction that at least the US is exporting
its political correctness idiocy so that it will hamper America's
competitors as much as it has hurt US businesses.

*BREAK*

Phone   John from Philadelphia, PA

Before he gets to his main comment, John first wants to comment
on an inspiration he got while listening to Rush's Bungee Condom
commercial - bungee jumping is a great metaphor for the
Democratic party because you put your life in someone else's
hands and then hope that when you fall you don't hit bottom. Rush
agrees, adding that in bungee jumping when you do hit bottom you
never know it.

John says that January issue of Car Magazine has a story on how
Oregon taxpayers no longer pay the speeding tickets of clients of
the Adult Family Services Department. The state used to pay the
speeding tickets of those on welfare, but no longer does because
"public opinion is against it." Rush has no comment because John
has said it all.

Phone   Tom from Arlington, VA

Tom comments that he just heard La Guardia has been closed, and
so Rush made it back just in the nick of time; Rush says that
things were so bad when he came in this morning, he was surprised
the airport was still open even then. Tom just bought a copy of
Rush's book and hasn't been able to put it down; this is not very
good news since Tom should be reading travel magazines to plan
his honeymoon, but Rush's book has shoved that job aside.

Tom also wonders why Rush's TV show is not in the Washington, DC
market yet. Rush says that EIB is being overwhelmed by calls
about this, and he has instructed Bo not to let these types of
calls get on the air; Bo, however, has sneakily snuck in a caller
on this subject once again.

Rush says that there is no official answer to Tom's question, but
it's clear that if anyone else were hosting a show that was
getting the ratings Rush's show is getting, the show would not
only be in DC but also on the air during primetime. Washington,
DC, though, is really the most out-of-touch place in the country;
the people who live there for any length of time don't realize
what is important to the rest of America.

Decisions in DC are made according to the social and political
scene, and so the general managers of Rush's TV show don't want
to carry his show because they know it means they will be banned
from the DC social scene for at least the next four years.

*BREAK*

More good economic news is being reported - jobless claims fell
to a three year low during Thanksgiving week, while other sectors
of the economy are continuing their rapid growth. President-elect
Clinton, though, still refuses to believe all of this good news,
and even said yesterday that the last ten years have seen
"serious erosion of real income of real wages of real workers."

Clinton still thinks the US is in economic decline, and Rush
finds it interesting that while the press can't wait to give
Clinton credit for the current economic recovery, Clinton himself
is claiming not to see any evidence of any long-term growth.

Of course, Clinton based his entire campaign talking about how
the US has the worst economy in the past 50 years, so he can't
change his mind now. More importantly, though, Clinton and his
economic advisers want a justification for their tinkering, and
Rush hopes that people remembered who warned them of this when
the tinkering starts.

Phone   John from Calumet City, IL

John recalls that he first heard Rush ten years ago on a
Sacramento radio station; John couldn't believe that somebody on
the radio was actually saying the same things he believed in. He
hopes more people like Rush start appearing on the radio, but
Rush says "no, no - I can handle it just fine, all by myself."

John thinks the US definitely has to have a strong military,
especially given the chaos that is resulting from the dismantling
of the Soviet Union and how many countries are trying to get
atomic weapons. John, though, doesn't really know why the US is
in Somalia.

Rush says that he had made a note to himself before the show to
talk about a theory he heard that nobody knows what the US is
doing in Somalia. John says that he's hearing statements from the
Somali warlords about how they are not going to interfere or harm
with the American troops. It seems that these guys know full well
that they just have to wait out the US military, and that when
the US leaves in January, things will go back to the way they
were earlier this year.

Since a government cannot be setup in Somalia by January, John
thus doesn't understand what the point of sending US troops in
there really is. He is also wondering if this mission is being
used as a justification for keeping a strong military, and
whether US officials are looking at Somalia as a new direction
for the US military.

Rush thinks that pictures and television are a major reason why
the US is in Somalia - the starving and dying has been going on
for two years, but nothing was done about it until the pictures
started showing the horror that was occurring. Also, Somalia is a
black nation which means that it has become a cause celebre for
the nation's civil rights leaders - Jesse Jackson, for example,
was happy that the US is "finally" sending its people to save
Africans. People like Jackson aren't pointing out that it is
black people who are killing other black people in Somalia.

There's also the question of "if Somalia, then why not Bosnia?"
One simple answer is that the mission in Somalia is simple - to
get food to starving people. The Bosnia problem is far more
complex and would require a massive invasion that could drag into
a long-term war. The Serbs in particular have withstood 1,000
years of Turkish oppression and are not going to be intimidated
by US air strikes.

The pictures from Somalia show that something needs to be done,
and since this can be done by the US military, Rush really can't
object to it. However, one thing that should be considered is if
this really is the proper job of the US military - is there
another way to accomplish the same objective? Are US troops
really needed to deal with some thugs and warlords?

However, John's comment is correct - unless there is some long-
term solution to Somalia, and the thugs over there are put out of
business, the current military action is just a band-aid solution
that will not last very long after the troops leave. John says
that he has no problems with helping Somali blacks, but he
wonders what kind of good a "60-day publicity tour by the
American military" can really do.

Rush asks who is getting this publicity, and John says that the
US military will certainly come out of this looking good. He
doesn't think Colin Powell and the other military leaders really
want to do this, and Rush agrees. John, though, doesn't think
Powell was involved in this decision - the politicians were. He
thus doubts that the military really planned the Somali operation
for this purpose, but he still doesn't know what the real purpose
and motivation for being over there is.

Rush says that the basic reason for being there is simple - to
stop the genocide of the Somali people and to stop the TV
pictures which are showing this horror. These pictures are truly
horrific and far beyond anything which has been shown in recent
times. America is a compassionate people and is not willing to
sit around and let this kind of atrocity happen.

It really is this simple, but of course people are starving all
around the world, and thus the question has to be asked if the US
should be helping out there, too. And if the US can't help out
everywhere, then that means somebody somewhere is going to be
making value judgements as to the degree of a particular
country's suffering. This is when the debate will really start.

*BREAK*

Phone   Gary from Shreveport, LA

Gary is an accounting major at Northeast Louisiana University at
Monroe, and he is being taught that government spending has to be
increased in order to solve the country's economic woes. Rush
says that deficit spending was a "solution" to many previous
recessions, but the size of today's deficit makes that unwise.
Gary, though, doesn't think covering everybody under health care
is the answer.

Rush says that this is a different matter, and asks Gary if he is
being forced to agree with this. Gary says he is being forced to
learn it, but the mix in the class is about 90% liberal and 10%
conservative policies. Gary, however, spits this stuff back out
on the test in order to get a good grade, but he still stays true
to his conservative beliefs.

Rush asks if the class ever holds any debates about liberalism
vs. conservatism, and Gary replies that there's not much time for
debate during the lectures. The teacher thus simply states that
increased spending and a larger welfare state are the keys to a
better economy. The teacher has even stated that getting rid of
the welfare system will eliminate jobs.

Rush finds this fascinating, especially since Gary is calling
from Louisiana, which is supposedly the home of David Duke and
rabid southern conservatism; however, Gary's call has shown that
the politically correct crowd is still alive and well even in
Monroe.

*BREAK*

Phone   Jody from Oshkosh, WI

Jody and her husband are both students on limited incomes, and
thus can't afford a real fireplace, which is why they think the
fake fireplace Rush uses on his TV show would be a great thing to
have. Rush is incredulous anyone would actually want one of these
liberal, phony fireplaces, but Jody thinks it would give her and
her husband a cozy environment for Christmas.

Rush says that Jody could buy a similar videotape called "The
Yulelog" which not only shows a fireplace, but also includes
Christmas music. Rush promises to talk more about this after the
break.

*BREAK*

THIRD HOUR

Phone   Jody from Oshkosh, WI (continued)

Rush warns Jody that she should ask for these fireplace tapes in
a joking manner, since some clerks may laugh at her. He doesn't
want to dissuade Jody from buying it, though, since this would
"have a negative impact on the economy." Thus, to get a copy of
the fireplace tape, call 1-800-CRACKLE. Rush notes that he
doesn't play the sound of the tape during his show "because it
would be in conflict with me," but this tape does have sound
effects.

Update  Multiculturalism         ("I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing" with Rush's own impersonation of the politically correct
who love everyone except those with whom they disagree)

Rush says this update is not new news, "but a transgramation of
it." Before getting to the update, though, Rush recalls the
"barking dogs" version of Jingle Bells, and thus performs his own
version of this favorite Christmas carol by crinkling his fax
paper. He astounds the nation with his ability to get not only
the rhythm of the song right, but also the tune itself. Rush
notes he has done this live, "without the help of Penn and
Teller, whose latest book can kill you."

Returning to the update, the latest product for the politically
correct crowd is multicultural crayons. Benny and Smith have
created this gift to the world, and the Portland, Maine YWCA is
selling them for $2 a box to support its multicultural support
group's efforts to eliminate racism. Rush bets the multicultural
crowd thinks these crayons are "really great educational stuff,"
since they show how everyone loves everyone else.

Each box of multicultural crayons contains "6 skin tone colors of
the world," plus "black and white for blending." Rush wonders how
Jesse Jackson will feel when he realizes that black is no longer
a legitimate skin tone. The other colors include apricot,
mahogany, peach, tan, and sepia.

Rush wonders where the "peach people are," and the EIB staff
suggests "Georgia." Rush admits that he is not up to speed on
this because he doesn't know where the apricot and sepia people
are either. Rush, however, is not totally politically incorrect
because he does know that the mahogany people are obviously in
the rainforest.

Rush is informed that ABC News has just reported that Bill
Clinton has named four new members of his cabinet. Robert B.
Reich will become Labor Secretary, which surprises Rush; he knew
Reich would be given a prominent job, but had thought the most
likely ones were as chief economic adviser or as head of
Clinton's Economic Security Council.

Donna Shalala, chancellor at the University of Wisconsin, has
been named as head of Health and Human Services; Shalala is a
close friend of Hillary Clinton <<"Hail to the Chief" plays>>,
and thus is one of Hillary's <<"Hail to the Chief" plays>>
appointments. Shalala's appointment is also a bit strange since
she had been rumored to be one of Clinton's choice for Education.

Florida's top environmental official, Carol Browner, has been
nominated for the Environmental Protection Agency, which is good
in one respect - it means the socialist former governor of
Maryland, Madeline Cunan, won't have the job. Laurie Tyson,
economist at ultra-liberal UC Berkeley, will take over the "White
Council of Economic Advisers."

Rush looks at the story again, and wonders if someone at the wire
service is having some fun with their news stories. Rush
theorizes that Clinton may have named his economic security
council after somebody named White, and promises to look into
this rather strange name. At the very least, though, EIB can
order some multicultural crayons and fix the council's name that
way.

*BREAK*

Rush just heard some comments from Clinton's newest appointees,
and he recalls how he predicted that Clinton would appoint a
bunch of theoreticians who have never really worked in the real
world. These people still think socialism is a valid political
system, and that the only reason socialism has failed in the past
is that it hasn't been tried "correctly."

Now, though, the "right people" are going to be in charge, and
since their theories always work in their essays, books, and
papers, they think they can make them work in the real world.
Laura Tyson, Clinton's Chairman of the White Council of Economic
Advisers, just said that she cannot wait to put her theories into
practice.

Rush moans in agony, adding that this is "Limbaugh laying the
trap"; it's almost as if Tyson were a Barbie doll and Rush is
pulling the string to make her talk. Another example of this is
Donna Shalala, Hillary's buddy <"Hail to the Chief" plays>>, who
is going to be Secretary of Health and Human Services. Shalala
said at her press conference this morning "I . . . ."

Unfortunately, Rush has continued on for too long in this segment
and his ever efficient staff interrupts him by playing the
closing segment music. "Ah, darn it," utters Rush, right before
he's cut off by commercials.

*BREAK*

 Rush apologizes for not watching the clock, which meant that his
own show had to cut him short. This, of course, shows that not
even the mighty Rush Limbaugh has the power to violate radio's
rules.

Rush returns to the subject of Donna Shalala, best friend to Mrs.
Bill Clinton <<"Hail to the Chief" does NOT play, leading Rush to
rejoice in his ability to confound his broadcast engineer>>, who
held a press conference after her nomination as head of Health
and Human Services. Rush decides that this quote from Shalala
deserves a reprise of his Multiculturalist Update, and so . . .

Update  Multiculturalism         ("I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing" with Rush's own impersonation of the politically correct
who love everyone except those with whom they disagree)

Donna Shalala said in her press conference this morning that she
cannot wait "to energize the agency to care about the people."
Even Rush is amazed at how right he has been on all of this -
liberalism prides itself on "caring," whether or not this ever
translates into any action. Symbolism over substance once again
rules. Rush knows he shouldn't be telling his audience how right
he is, but if he doesn't do this, who will?

The EIB staff evidently doesn't care because they hit the
gloatometer and cut Rush off. Rush therefore decides to celebrate
Clinton's politically correct appointments by playing EIB's
commercial for Krytel Records' Christmas hit, "Rush Limbaugh
Sings Your Favorite Christmas Hits."

Phone   Dianne from Glastonbury, CT

Dianne is a liberal and was really upset at first when Rush's
show came to her local EIB affiliate because it bounced the local
morning guy into the evening; however, she is a letter carrier
who is out and about during Rush's show, and thus has come to
realize her good fortune. She agrees with Rush on a few things,
such as his comments on Sinead O'Connor and his love for Mannheim
Steamroller.

Rush says he had thought all good liberals knew of Mannheim
Steamroller's music, and Diane admits she had heard the music,
but never before knew who the group was. Rush is glad he could be
of help and provide this service to Diane.

Dianne also hopes she can eventually get on the waiting list to
borrow Rush's book at her local library; she would have bought
the book herself, but she just replaced her home's heating system
and thus is a bit short of cash. Rush admits that heat is a good
thing to have during the Christmas season, although he adds that
his book has a lot of warmth and love.

Dianne voted for Clinton and is happy she did, although her first
choice was Perot. Rush says that Perot is back in the news -
Advertising Age is reporting that Perot wants to do his own talk
show on network TV once a month. Dianne hasn't heard this, but
said that she wanted either Perot or Clinton because she had
voted for Bush in 1988 and was "totally disappointed with him."

Rush agrees that this past election was driven by people's anger
towards Bush, and not many people felt a lot of excitement about
being led by Clinton. Dianne adds that she found it highly
hypocritical for Bush and the Republicans to be expounding family
values, when Neil Bush was so heavily involved in scandals of his
own. Rush points out that character wasn't supposed to have
mattered in this election, but Dianne thinks character mattered
for Bush just because he was making such a big deal about it.

*BREAK*

Phone   Trent from Tampa, FL

Trent gives dittos from Tampa, and Rush asks how Trent, living in
sunny Florida, feels about all the people in the Northeast who
are getting grief from the wind, rain, and snow. Trent admits he
tends to feel pretty smug when he sees the snowed-in roads and
such, but this is also in part because he spent last year working
as a door-to-door salesman in Cincinnati. He notes it's a lot
easier to do that job in Florida during the winter, although he
will go home for Christmas so that he can have a week of snow,
and thus get the best of both worlds.

Trent wants to get Rush's views on the discussions being held
right now on whether major league baseball should remain exempt
from anti-trust laws. Rush says that this is a "toughy" of a
question - baseball owners have had this exemption for decades,
and other major league sports don't have similar privileges.

Trent is interested in this since Tampa has had a lot of
opportunities to get a major league team, but has lost out every
time, thanks in large part to the power baseball's commissioner
and owners have. Rush comments that he had a fascinating talk
last night about this with George Bush, Jr., who is part owner of
the Texas Rangers.

In particular, the salaries of the players are a fascinating
subject since owners of most businesses make far more than their
employees, but this has been turned completely around in
baseball. Owners like George Bush, Jr. are now wondering if they
got into the business on the wrong side.

Trent's phone issues a high-pitched beep, leading Rush to ask if
he is conducting his own test of the Emergency Broadcasting
System. Trent replies no, but his Motorola cellular phone is
supplied by his business, and it has a time limit on the length
of its calls. Before Trent can say anything more, he's cut off,
and so Rush decides he doesn't have to answer Trent's question.

Rush would like to have asked Trent, though, if he thinks the
current problems being experienced by baseball are caused by
their exemption from anti-trust legislation. He admits that he is
torn on this issue because he understands the point of baseball's
exemption from anti-trust laws. On the other hand, it can't be
argued that communities who host baseball teams derive a
tremendous amount of self-esteem from their team and its
performance.

The EIB staff warns Rush that his comment on "self-esteem" makes
him sound too much like a liberal, and Rush wonders if that means
he'll be invited to the Clinton White House. He adds that he was
thinking about that last night when he was walking through the
Bush White House that was decorated in such a perfect, storybook
manner. Will next year's Christmas be the same? Will Christmas
trees be replaced so that the White House will be politically
correct?

Rush admits he's joking, but still it will be interesting to see
what changes Clinton will make. Going back to baseball, Rush says
he agrees with Howard Cosell's opinion on whether baseball should
retain its anti-trust exemption, but doesn't elaborate any
further.

*BREAK*

Phone   Linda from Rock Island, IL

Linda thanks Rush for giving her brain "aerobic exercises" every
day and for letting her laugh for three solid hours. She comments
that she didn't even realize Rush was on the radio until she
started watching his TV show, adding that she has known a lot of
men in her life, but Rush is probably the only one she's ever
listened to. "I could take your brain and bottle it," she states,
but Rush isn't quite sure if this is a compliment.

Linda hasn't read Rush's book yet, though, and wonders if he has
an opinion on euthanasia. Rush replies he is opposed to doctor-
assisted suicide and the whole "right to die with dignity"
movement, which is really about the right to kill. He especially
opposes corrupting the medical community by allowing doctors to
kill people, and he doesn't like how society is becoming too
preoccupied with the "dying process," as Jack Kevorkian puts it.


-- 
John Switzer               | "What we have here is a failure to 
                           | masticate."
Compuserve: 74076,1250     | -- Dr. Clayton "Firebrand" Forrester, after
Internet: jrs@netcom.com   | TV's Frank is unable to eat his 13th turkey.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.politics.clinton,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.homosexuality,alt.rush-limbaugh