From: sns@bondi.jpl.nasa.gov (Sam Southard)
Subject: Re: suggested weapons (was: Killing burglars.)
Organization: SAR Systems Development & Processing, JPL
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 16:15:15 GMT

In article <Btwonv.GHw.2@cs.cmu.edu> goddard+@cs.cmu.edu (Nigel Goddard) writes:
>In article <1992Sep1.145552.22352@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov> sns@bondi.jpl.nasa.gov (Sam Southard) writes:
>>This seems quite relevant to misc.consumers.house.  Someone has asked "what's
>>the best gun I can by [there's .consumers.] to protect my house [there's
>>.house]?"  What else does it need to qualify for misc.consumers.house?
>
>In the same vein, can someone tell me the best type and arrangement of
>crystals to get to protect my house from burglars?  There is a huge
>choice out there.  We have two kids, so I don't want anything that
>concentrates energy in the 1-3ft height range.  Preferably the
>spectrum should dissipate at no more than 12 ft. from source to avoid
>zapping passers-by on the sidewalk.  I've been considering agates
>but have heard these have an unbalanced frequency distribution.  Can
>someone comment on this?
>
>Another difficult problem is spatial placement of the crystals.  Of
>course it depends on just which minerals and cuts are used, but the
>general outline is what I want to know about.  I've read that the
>hexagonal tri-phased vector layout is the most powerful, but my
>question is, does it work in a two storey house?

What you really need to worry about in buying crystals for home protection is
the gigawatt laser used to send the beam through the crystals.  You should
be sure to get one which is outside visual frequencies, unless you're a
bleeding-heart liberal pinko commie scum and want to warn the burglar before
he slices himself by walking into the laser.

You also should make sure to avoid specific microwave frequencies so that you
don't end up with an expensive localized humidifier.  Then again, you could
buy a steam turbine to hook up into your power co-generation setup.

And the hexagonal tri-phased vector layout is exactly what you need to split
the beam so you can get it on both floors of a two-story house.

Definatly avoid the agates.  The unbalanced frequency distribution could fan
out the beam and cause collateral damage.

A couple warnings:

(1) Don't use this sort of security system in Southern California, or any other
	quake-prone area, or near active railroad tracks.  The vibrations will
	most likely throw the crystals out of alignment and you'll have a
	powerful laser beam wandering around your house.
(2) Don't use this type of security system in a pyramidal house.  The
	amplication properties of the pyramid will be too much for the
	structure of the house to take.  If you have a stainless steel frame,
	when your house reaches 88 mph in the blast you will be transported
	back to ancient egypt.  Then how will you run your microwave?

Seriously, the poster was asking a very specific question about what kind of
gun and ammunition to use as a home security system (or possibly as part of
one).  That kind of question is appropriate to cross-post to
misc.consumers.home and rec.guns, but probably not talk.politics.guns.  You may
not like seeing the topic (put it in your kill file), but it is quite relevant
to this newsgroup.
Newsgroups: misc.consumers.house
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