From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: weather or not to ski
Date: 21 Jan 93 12:23:09 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Edinburgh University

I had a ski lesson on the plastic slope here last night. It was very
windy and squalls had been coming through all day. Still, the lesson was
prepaid so off I went wearing all-over Goretex (tm).

As expected it was windy. Then some sleet started. That hurts just a bit
when you're standing face into the wind trying to hear the instructor.

Later on we got a little hail, that hurt quite a bit more.

Then, on the way up the ski tow, there wa this huge flash just at the
top of the hill. "What was that?" I thought. "Lightning? That doesn't
happen often at night here, never mind in winter". Then the rumble of
thunder confirmed it. "Cool" I thought "one of Mother Nature's
light-show's, and at night too. Excellent!".

The ski tow stopped though, and they started announcing something on
their tannoy. "What are they saying?" I thought, unable to hear it
properly.

There was  a little alarm bell ringing way back in my midbrain though,
and having litle else to do while I waited for the ski-tow to start
again, I listened. "Look idiot" it said, "that's lightning up there,
heap big spark. And it's close, one-elephant, two-elephant, remember?"

"Yeah, I answered, pretty cool innit?"

- "Conceded, howeverm see those big things there? Those are pylons.
   They're made of metal. Metal conducts lighning."

"Uhuh. Well thanks for the physics intro."

- "It gets better. Those pylons are connected to a wire. Made of metal.
   YOU are connected to that wire."

I begin to see where this is going, but I'm gonna argue anyway.

"Ah, yes, but I'm connected by a rope..."

- "A *wet* rope...."

"....and I'm wearing ski boots. *plastic* ski boots."

 - "Yes, *wet* plastic ski boots, connected to large pieces of metal
   sitting on wet plastic fibres on a very large metal lattice. The largest
   area of metal around here in fact.

"OK. I'll ski down then."

So I get to the bottom of the slope. The tannoy is clearer there and I
hear "Would all skiers return immediately to the bottom of the slope."

So we're all standing down there seeing sheet lightning at the bottom of
the hill. I'm doing one-elephant, two-elephant to figure out how close
the storm is. I'm looking at some woods less than half a mile away.
Suddenly there's this jagged fork of lighning there searing my vision.
Limned against the darkness I see it hit the woods.

Peeve: No trees burst into flame :-(

The crack of thunder arrived almost immediately. Things went very quiet
after that. I was convinced enough. I put down the ski poles (metal) and
got out of the skis (metal) as quickly as possible. The insturctors were
now ordering evryone into the buildings in a much more insistent tone.
I headed for the balcony so that I wouldn't miss any more lighning
strikes.

Peeve: no more.

So 20 minutes later we're allowed back onto the slopes. Serious hail
starts and hurts like hell. It's enough to cover the matting with litle
ice-balls and makes the skiing really smooth (for plastic anyway).

!peeve: They left the tow's on "free passage" after the lesson to make
up for the 20 minutes lost, so I got in some practice while the slope
was running good.

Peeve: There's snow on all the Scottish ski areas but the winds are too
high to go skiing.

FoFP
Newsgroups: alt.peeves