From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Subject: Re: What to do with a late talker?
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 21:03:36 GMT

In article <TIGGER.92Aug24204942@satyr.Sylvan.COM> tigger@satyr.Sylvan.COM (Grace Sylvan) writes:
>
>I have known a few kids (mostly boys) that talked LATE. One who used
>less words at the age of 2 than he did at the age of 1. He
>communicated just fine, and sometime around 2.5, he exploded with
>words, sentences, and quickly caught up to my early talking daughter.
>
>I also know a boy who's about 3.5 who doesn't speak very well, but he
>seems to communicate fine, and the kids don't seem to have any
>problems playing with him.
>
>Since I have seen some 'late' bloomers (around 2.5 or so) I would not
>want to start any speech therapy around that age, I would just let it
>be. Each child does things on his/her own schedule, and there have
>been quite a few studies that have shown that doing something early or
>late seems to have very little impact years down the road.
>
>Communicate with the child using big words and full sentences - don't
>assume because the child doesn't speak the words that the child
>doesn't *understand* and that the child isn't learning.
>

I think this is well and good regarding calming us parents of late talkers
as far as the futures of their children are concerned.  However, as with
many situations in childhood, it doesn't help relieve the day-to-day
difficulties of living with a late talker.

For example, even though Erin has doubled her vocabulary, she still does
not use words to communicate.  She SCREAMS when she wants something.  The
problem with this is that if you are holding her when she screams you will
be deaf for a full minute afterward.  If you have a headache, are tired, or
in anyway not your full patient self, the impact of that scream is, well,
debilitating.  (Thank GOD she's the most adorable cuddly little creature or
we'd have killed her by now).

I know what Erin's problem is.  I understand why she isn't talking.  I even
see that we may encourage her by playing the parent guessing game while
she's screaming in order to get her to stop.  We've tried several times not
doing this and, unfortunately, it feels too much like child abuse to refuse
to give her what she needs just because she won't use words to communicate.
So, knowing we'll end up either feeling like abusive parents and giving in 
(which I think ends up being worse in the long run) we just guess what it is 
(cereal?  hot dog? bread? juice? etc.) and give it to her.

So, I don't know about parents of other late talkers, but I could sure use
some practical advice for daily survival until she starts using words to
communicate.  Actually, we're surviving.  I'd like advice for being in a
state that is somewhat better than just surviving this phase.  Should we
try to second guess her before the screaming starts?  Should we buy ear
plugs?  

Any other parents of late talkers know what I'm talking about?  It's incredibly
frustrating for the parents.  I guess this is my punishment for not having
had a colicky baby ;-(
-- 
Judy Leedom Tyrer

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"	- William Blake