HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: caz@owlnet.rice.edu (HWRNMNBSOL)
Subject: Rictus Hep, P.I. (Continue Or Die)
Organization: Rice University
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 05:54:46 GMT

It was one of those nights.  Or days.  Nights or days, who cares, I didn't.
We'll say it was at some point in a standard diurnal cycle, and leave it
there to rot with the apples in the fallow orchards.

The light seeped through my blinds like semen through a faulty IUD.  I had
a buzz on my head like the first day of boot camp, and even a slug of Scope
couldn't chase the little green men away.  I kicked my Vans up on the 
chiffarobe and whistled softly through my buttocks.  What a day.  Or night.
Whatever.

My name's Rictus Hep; I'm a Private Dick.  I'm also a detective, and I
resent the implication.  My office fronts on 64th, backs onto 16th, and
kind of sidles past the Battery.  I smoke, wear a trenchcoat, and whack
off to Body Electric.  I carry a gun, but it doesn't work.  That's OK, 
'cause neither do I: I'm a Private Detective.

I was just settling down for a little nap, having burrowed deep into the
cool mud at the banks of Lake Victoria, when SHE walked in.......


-- 
HWRNMNBSOL
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Domestic appliances
Date: 11 Jan 93 15:16:42 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: William's Wonderful Wonky Widget Warehouse


In article <1993Jan9.203639.10772@lut.ac.uk> L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd
Wood) writes:

#  As an experienced programmer of washing machines, dishwashers and
#  fridges, does anyone know where I can find a newsgroup where I can find
#  items of interest relevant to this?
#  [...]
#  Will I have to start alt.fan.kettle or similar?

Comp.sys.acorn was created especially with you in mind.



-- 
Son, all the pretty, intelligent, healthy     #    Ken Johnson, AIAI,
young women are taken. It's a basic rule of   #    80 South Bridge, Edinburgh
the universe, and if you don't like it, go    #    Tel 031-650 2756 
somewhere else.        -- my dad  1906-1992   #    Fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,misc.jobs.offered,misc.test,rec.humor,rec.pets
From: shawn@thor.atd.ucar.edu (Shawn Copeland)
Subject: Re: INTERESTING RABBIT FACT #1
Keywords: slaughter all rodents
Organization: National Center for Atmospheric Research
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 01:47:29 GMT

In regard to the keywords, I have to point out that rabbits are not rodents.

They're lagomorphs.

So are pikas.

And you can't imagine how long I've been waiting for an opportunity to
tell someone that.
-- 
	Shawn B. Copeland
	National Center for Atmospheric Research
	NCAR  Mail Stop MAR, P.O Box 3000, Boulder, CO 80307-3000
	Internet: shawn@thor.atd.ucar.edu
                  shawn_copeland@ncar.ucar.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: adw3345@ultb.isc.rit.edu (A.D. Williams)
Subject: Crow and Red Squirrel
Originator: adw3345@ultb
Reply-To: adw3345@ultb.rit.edu ()
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 00:25:06 GMT


 One day, Crow was hungry and he had no food to eat. Crow was lazy
and did not want to hunt. Crow then flew to Wa-He-Na-He, or Red
Squirrel. "Red Squirrel", said Crow, "let us have a feast! I have a
medicine pipe so we may smoke!" Red Squirrel agreed to the feast,
and he hunted a buffalo with his bow. Red Squirrel also hunted deer
and he had his women clean and scrape the buffalo and to clean and
scrape the deer. Soon, Crow came to Red Squirrel's camp. Crow had
a medicine bag. "Let us feast," said Crow, "and then we will smoke
the medicine pipe!" So Crow and Red Squirrel feasted. They ate the
buffalo and they ate the deer. "Let us smoke the medicine pipe!" said
Crow, and he took out the pipe from the medicine bag. Red Squirrel 
took out his tomahawk and killed Crow by smashing in Crow's head.
"I'm sorry," said Red Squirrel, "but I don't smoke."


                                               Derrick
                                               Paleface Unix Hacker


-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Derrick Williams   Rochester Institute of Technology | Insert snappy  -
- adw3345@ultb.isc.rit.edu     Computer Science        | quotation here -
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.arts.startrek.current
From: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk
Subject: Re: STAR TREKKIN'!
Reply-To: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 93 18:20:28 GMT

I prefer the original unadulterated lyrics.
In the video.
I'm of the MTV generation.

L.
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: cool town
Date: 13 Jan 1993 00:26:04 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
NNTP-Posting-Host: stealth.intel.com
Keywords: blarp

In article <1993Jan11.213606.10341@black.ox.ac.uk> thchemb4@oxford.ac.uk (Tom Weston) writes:
>The following list of the most popular newsgroups in oxford was
>posted locally,

Thirty years from now, will our president-elect be
a Rhodes Scholar with experience on talk.bizarre?

				--Blair
				  "A chill just ran down my spine,
				   checked its split time, and
				   hobbled off for a cup of java
				   at the local McDonald's..."
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Kellogg's patent toasted anti-masturbation enema
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 93 19:28:22 GMT
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
X-Newsreader: rusnews v0.98

kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
> I don't think you realize the sheer brilliance of this.  The originators
> of many breakfast cereals took wheat scraps that would otherwise be discarded,
> toasted and puffed them, and then sold them for a premium.  They marketed their
> waste products as exclusive merchandise.  This is entirely an American concept.

Oh yeah?  What about Marmite?


mathew
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rvacca@vyasa.helios.nd.edu (robert vacca)
Subject: Re: Well, I'm back.
Organization: University of Notre Dame
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 18:03:21 GMT

In article <C0JyBJ.854@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil>  
dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small) writes:
>
> Acually, Mr White is no longer a member of the Cabal.  His membership 
> was terminated when pictures of him, his daughter, and a llama were 
> discovered . . .                                         ^^^^^

	I first read that as Ilana.

---
David Vacca, Just an Excitable Boy.

 [I could tell you where to send replies, but then I'd have to kill you.]
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Know Your Enemy
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 18:03:59 GMT

caz@owlnet.rice.edu (HWRNMNBSOL) writes:
>I possess one notable non-redneck quality, and that is my devout and undying
>hatred of all things equine.
>                                               The constant jogging and 
>bouncing in the saddle had slowly but surely weakened Man's groin, and each
>generation lacked a little more virility than the last.  

Penis Envy.
--
!cat .signature
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy)
Subject: cat tanka
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,rec.pets,alt.prose,misc.misc,misc.test,alt.job.gooley
Summary: i need therapy
Keywords: carboxyhemoglobin
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 93 07:59:51 GMT


				cat tanka

			did you see that cat?
		  dark brown stripes from head to tail,
			and eating that mouse!
		  surprised me it could catch one,
		     it seemed so lazy and fat!


ok, so it's corny as shit, but that's the way it goes folks...
--
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: new!  from Mattel!
Date: 4 Jan 1993 13:35:35 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <ueekvlc@zola.esd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>
>Crash-Test Rock Star!  Complete with chartered plane, which pops
>apart into over one dozen pieces, and smashable Marshall amp.

CJ, this is the only funny article I have yet seen this year.  Thanks.
--scott
From: IO10712@MAINE.MAINE.EDU (My Baloney has a first name.....)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Hey you froonting turlingdromes...
Date: 11 Jan 93 20:50:28 GMT
Organization: University of Maine System

Everyone do me a favor! Pleeeeease
It's my best friends birthday (or rather, was) yesterday. Send him
a birthday greeting! Make it as long and rude as i know you people
are capeable of. Trust me, he's the type of person who'd think it
hilarious to find a letter in his mbox from some person he doesn
't know saying "Happy birthday you smelly chicken shit, i hope that
boil on your bum stops leaking!" or something. It can be creative,
it can be just "Happy birthday." But please, just send him one!
He had a yucky day and i'm trying to do something to make him
happier. :)
Thank you, bless you, good day.

                      /-----------------------\
                      |Yeah, i know, it's not |
                      |    much of a sig.     |
                      |io10712@maine.maine.edu|
                      \-----------------------/
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aad@siemens.com (Anthony Datri)
Subject: Re: Kellogg's patent toasted anti-masturbation enema
Organization: Siemens Corporate Research, Princeton (Plainsboro), NJ
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 17:01:13 GMT

>> toasted and puffed them, and then sold them for a premium.  They marketed their
>> waste products as exclusive merchandise.  This is entirely an American concept.

>Oh yeah?  What about Marmite?

Not to mention haggis...
-- 

======================================================================8--<
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879)
Subject: How many dead gurus do YOU need?
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 15:34:55 GMT

Surrealism sucks.
 
I mean really, how many of you out there plow through that 487 line
message that starts off with:
 
"The ringtailed fetal chimpanzee smotted his enemies with fudge..."
 
None of ya!  Especially when the bloody thing has no paragraphing, and
is just this great big lump of text sitting on the screen.  Hack it up
into paragraphs, wouldja?  How the hell do you expect anyone to read
that stuff without going:  "Hmmm...  I think not..." and type: "n
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn" until their fingers bleed?
 
Sometimes, instead of typing N, I just bang my head against the key
board.  It make a lovely sound, and the fish come out of my innards
and devour my eyes and it takes hours for me to find my contact
lenses.
 
Shut up.
 
Further more, some of the short shameful confessions in here just flat
out suck.  I mean, some people have no idea what SHAME is.  Shame is
suddenly farting in class, but it wasn't a fart, it was diarrea
(there's an h in that word somewhere...) and you spend the rest of the
class reeking of poo and it's a 4th year seminar course and that
blonde girl you want to screw so badly is looking at you like you're
some sort of deviant.
 
Little does she realize that this state, although shameful, fills you
with an undying erotic lust and your glands are swollen in your shorts
to the size of a rhino horn.  She staring at you thinking "What a
geek!" and your squirming in your seat, smearing your fecal matter all
over your ass, drooling inside, staring at that blonde womans horrible
padded bra, thinking "Boy, would I like to rip off THOSE nipples while
she whips me repeatedly with a tire iron".
 
You laugh now, thinking what a fine joke but what man wouldn't pay
hard cold cash to be sodomized by a kimodo dragon?  Hell, if there
were such a service I'd be first in line waving a fistful of twenties
screaming: "DO ME FIRST YOU BIG GREEN FUCKER!"
 
But I digress.
 
                                                  Nik
                      Some days it just doesn't pay to log on.

Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:43856 misc.test:14912 rec.pets:4242
From: bur@ultisol.gsfc.nasa.gov (MAC)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,misc.test,rec.pets
Subject: Re: Rabbit pneumonia
Keywords: Rabbit pneumonia
Date: 7 Jan 93 17:18:51 GMT
Reply-To: nobody@nowhere
Organization: Yes.

In article <1993Jan6.172448.18309@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
>IN REC.PETS tcm@moscom.com (Tom Maszerowski) writes:
>>
>>  Last night my big mini lop Buttercup died in my arms at the animal
>>emergency clinic, cause of death was respiratory and cardiac arrest.
>
>I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE THE YOUNG GIRLS SING,
>I WRITE THE SONGS OF LOVE AND SPECIAL THINGS,
>I WRITE THE SONGS, I WRITE THE SONGS.
>
>   LAST NIGHT MY BIG MINI GERBIL BUTTERLOVE DIED IN MY ANUS AT THE ANIMAL
>EMERGENCY CLINIC, CAUSE OF DEATH WAS SUFFOCATION.
>
>

Genius, sheer unadulterated genius I tell you.
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: DRINK IT ALL: One Awesome Calorie
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Date: 12 Jan 1993 19:19:11 GMT
Organization: PETA (People for the Evisceration of Tiresome Activists)
Distribution: world
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com


boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell) writes:

>Clausthaler is the best non - alcoholic beer in the known universe.


Saying "good non-alcoholic beer" is like saying "good case of the clap."


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller			+ + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM	+ + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Sibyl Waugh)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: observations of my fellow victims
Date: 6 Jan 93 03:45:03 GMT
Organization: Brize Norton School of Experimental Theology
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

Let not young souls be smothered out before they do quaint deeds.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: "A.J. Janschewitz" <p00258@psilink.com>
Subject: Re: INTERESTING RABBIT FACT #1
Organization: Performance Systems Int'l
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 19:05:51 GMT
X-Mailer: PSILink-DOS (3.3)

>DATE:   Fri, 8 Jan 1993 01:47:29 GMT
>FROM:   Shawn Copeland <shawn@thor.atd.ucar.edu>
>
>In regard to the keywords, I have to point out that rabbits are not rodents.
>
>They're lagomorphs.
>
>So are pikas.
>
So is Rush Limbaugh.
From: operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Short shameful confession
Date: 11 Jan 1993 00:04:52 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: g310c9.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

In article <1993Jan8.180456.11581@ncar.ucar.edu> ilana@kiowa.scd.ucar.edu  
(Ilana) writes:
> The other night I tried to wash the rear windshield of my car.  I'd
> forgotten it was about zero degrees F.
> 
> I got what I deserve for such braindeadness.
> 
> Ilana
> ice is harder to see through than dirt, anyway.

That's what rear defrost is for. Or had you forgotten about that too?

--
operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The effect my signature has on women
Date: 6 Jan 93 18:50:11 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: William's Wonderful Wonky Widget Warehouse



When I last changed my .signature I got E-mail from three different
women, all of whom claimed to be pretty, intelligent, healthy and not
taken. 

All three were from the US.

Ken Johnson




-- 
Son, all the pretty, intelligent,      || Ken Johnson                           healthy young women are taken.         || A I Applications Institute
It's a basic rule of the universe,     || 80 South Bridge                       and if you don't like it,              || Edinburgh,  Scotland   EH1 1HN
go somewhere else.                     || Phone 031-650 2756   Fax 031-650 6513
               -- my dad  1906-1992    || E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
From: gj@prg.oxford.ac.uk (Hugh Neek)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: short shameful confession
Date: 13 Jan 93 03:45:03 GMT
Organization: The United Nations Tie-Dye Commission for Refuse and Disease
X-Mailer: mail-news 2.0.3

It is almost twenty-five years since I last drank some Irn Bru; and the
shop from which I bought it has closed, perhaps for lack of my business.
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Xmas report
Date: 7 Jan 1993 23:48:08 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
NNTP-Posting-Host: stealth.intel.com

In article <C0HMn6.7xs@encore.com> dlwilson@fenix.encore.com (David L Wilson) writes:
>Last weekend my mother discovered her mother's 1911 Colt .45 ACP pistol.
>It apparently has not been cleaned or fired since the 30's.  I cleaned
>it, and this weekend we are going to the Delray Shooting Center to blow
>off a few boxes.

What's the serial number?

				--Blair
				  "My M1911's bigger than your M1911."
From: cd517@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Douglas J. Narby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: ANYONE LOOKS GOOD IN JEANS
Date: 6 Jan 1993 08:16:09 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: cd517@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Douglas J. Narby)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston) says:

>In article <72497@cup.portal.com> lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec28.000206.29242@netcom.com> richh@netcom.com (richh) writes:
>|>I look *tough* in jeans.
>|Rick Kelly:
>|: To look really *tough*, wear slightly baggy regulation prison jeans.
>|  To look really *tough*, scrub the crotch with a large rough brick.
>
>To look even tougher, *pound* the crotch with a large rough brick.
>
>To look so tough *nobody* will mess with you, pound the crotch with
>a large rough brick while you're wearing them.
>
>
To look so tough that everyone will want to mess with you, stuff the
brick in your crotch.
-- 
sig? what .sig? Us academic types can't say anything in 4 lines!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu (have clue, will travel)
Subject: short, shameful confession
Reply-To: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu
Organization: The Ghost Of Christmas Past Society
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 14:46:38 GMT


I'm seriously considering buying the new Go West album.


				---jeff "as if my aBBa collection wasn't
					  bad enough..." c., ncsu.

--
     jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu      \\              To KLH:
 "I don't know where you took   --=--      Love ya, Katya!
 me, but I didn't want to leave."   \\  have clue, will travel.
       ---------------------------------------------------
From: tomf@gte.com (Tom Fawcett)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Two Churchillian quotes (how big is the Internet?)
Date: 12 Jan 93 17:22:32 GMT
Reply-To: tomf@gte.com
Organization: GTE Laboratories, Inc.
In-reply-to: ag786@yfn.ysu.edu's message of 11 Jan 93 06:41:09 GMT


> >* In a message originally to All, Derek Andrew,,, said:
> >DA>	The sun never sets on the Internet.
> >
> >DA>			- Winston Churchill
> >
> >DA>	There will always be an Internet.
> >
> >DA>			- Winston Churchill
> >

"I am glad to have visited talk.bizarre once, so I shall never
have to do so again."

			- Winston Churchill
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: 100% Weird
Keywords: TNT does it again...
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Distribution: na
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 04:58:23 GMT

In article <1993Jan9.190448.12190@clipper.ingr.com> kontos@clipper.ingr.com (Thorne Kontos) writes:

>     Queen of Outer Space - starring Zsa Zsa Gabor...
>     Check it out next time its on, you won't be disappointed...
 
In the movie, does she get away with slapping the guy that pulls 
her over for speeding? After all, when you're queen, you can do
these things...


-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"Data sheet: HSN-3000 Nuclear Event Detector. The [NED] senses the gamma
radiation pulse [from a] nuclear weapon." As if we wouldn't notice...
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: INTERNATIONAL FAT.BOB (FDT.BOI and FIT.BOF)
Date: 12 Jan 93 13:43:19 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: William's Wonderful Wonky Widget Warehouse


In article <C0nF6G.LxJ@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM> jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM
(John F.  Woods) writes:

#  Does anyone have the 800 number for the PLO?

0800-GUN-BANG perhaps?

Ken Johnson




-- 
Son, all the pretty, intelligent, healthy     #    Ken Johnson, AIAI,
young women are taken. It's a basic rule of   #    80 South Bridge, Edinburgh
the universe, and if you don't like it, go    #    Tel 031-650 2756 
somewhere else.        -- my dad  1906-1992   #    Fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: snow, snow, and more snow
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 01:42:30 GMT

lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:

>The news here in Northern California has headlined on a mother and
>baby who spent 8 days in a snow cave in the Sierras while hubby went
>tramping about to look for help. They all survived, despite having had no food.

>Disgraceful behaviour. Totally neglecting the esteemed Donner Pass tradition
>for people marooned in winter in the Sierras, nobody ate anybody. Pfooee.

Actually, in the tradition of The Grapes of Wrath, she breast-fed the baby,
and in the tradition of The Young Ones, they ate snow.  Still, the baby
did look pretty meaty.

--mark
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Men are pigs, part two
Organization: University of Central Florida
Distribution: talk
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 14:30:11 GMT

My girlfriend is going away for the semester.  Just last
week we had this conversation:

She: "You're going to have to get me something to keep
me company while I'm away."

Me: "What, you mean like a vibrator?"

She: "No, you creep, I was talking about a stuffed animal!"

Men, you see, are pigs.  This was a week ago.  There is still
a bruise on my arm.

--mark
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Thought
Date: 6 Jan 93 12:30:43 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <NF2wwB3w165w@mantis.co.uk>, mathew@mantis.co.uk (mathew) writes:
> What would the post office do if you changed your name to "Par Avion"?

Find someone called Mar Avion to hook you up with?

Jason

> mathew
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Dave Polewka - talk Bizarre's very own twonk. Anagrams.
Date: Fri, 08 Jan 1993 12:28:54 GMT
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00

				Blazon twelve awkward prokaryote knives. 
	
			Provoke newlywed: Alvarez Watkins Bartok.

		Revved protozoan walkway wrinkle basket.

 	Skywave wizard, vernal network bookplate.

Newark wizard Krakow, velvety tablespoon.

	Walkover swanky privet, zealot breakdown.

	Invoke westward, walkover krypton ablaze.

	Evzone breastwork, kidnap, revolt, walkway.

Windbreak Krakow wallop evzone travesty.

	Velvet protien Krakow awkward lazybones.

		Walkover krypton baklava Windsor tweeze. 

			Bronze swanky talkative walkover powder 

				Kowalski tweeze network, Pavlov barnyard
	
					Tarzan windbreak walkover spooky twelve 
		
					Krakow davenport bovine seltzer walkway 

					Byzantine walkover, Krakow wolves depart 

			Bronzy Kankakee swallow viewport advert 
	
		Partook awkward velvety swanlike bronze 

	Awkward invert Lorenz skywave bookplate 

Breezy walkover, awkward soviet plankton 

	Swanky teakwood prevent Brazil walkover 

	Ersatz Knowlton baklava keyword preview 

	Lawbreak: ersatz velvety napkin woodwork 

		Bonanza twelve pervert workday Kowalski 

			Awkward blazon keystone privet walkover 

	
Dac
--
dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
                    <Using ARN on an Amiga 4000. Yay!>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre