From: mece21x@jane.uh.edu (Yesudas, Michael)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.kerala
Subject: Pendulum and KathakaLi
Date: 27 Jan 1993 13:53 CST
Organization: University of Houston
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: jane.uh.edu
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    

One of the most "traumatizing" facts of life that anyone can face is to sit in
a class in at college after having sat in Malayalam medium throughout the 
entire life. So when I sat for the I PDC class at Mar Ivanios College, I was
really upset at the very first sight of only English letters being written on
the blackboard....

At first it was Mathematics, and the hush-hush sound told me that her 
"pseudonym" was KathakaLi, due to the gestures and histrionics involved in the
exploring the inner labyrinths of Mathematics. Oh, yes it was fun.

"yex squared" (left eyebrow up) plus "why squared" (right eyebrow up) plus
"two yex why" (both eybrows up) eeez equal toooo "yex plus why" the holsquared
(both eyes bulge out)

Aha! This is really true! This is our ancient KathakaLi, I was convinced. And
she went on and on. Luckily for me she used to write all of them on the board.
And I used to ask the next guy, as to what the translation is and then wrote 
it down in Malayalam in very small letters, lest should the other urchins from
big big convent schools see what I wrote and made fun of me. Either way I 
understood very little of Mathematics, all because of the stupid parents. How
do they expect me to study all this, and that sore thought has never got out
of my mind.....

The next class looked more like "Plan B" of the murder plot; which needless to
say that I survived the "Plan A". And then came Physics. Professor T.I.Mathai.
My concept was that a professor should at the minimum have a beard, a suit,
and round glasses, but Professor Mathai, did not seem to any of these.  On the
contrary he was clean shaven, in a T-shirt, and had square glasses. Oh! What
a letdown!

He started. Leave alone understanding, I never even understood that he was
talking in English. I saw the fellow sitting next to me writing the word "heat"
and I also wrote it down. And that was all he wrote. And so that was all I 
wrote too. The fellow next to me was dozing, and so there was no question of
taking down anything from him anyway.

Ah! who is that girl? I forgot! Isn't she looking good? I remembered that 
someone telling me that she was from Canada. Oh, then she must be understanding
all this English so easily. Why didn't my parents go to Canada? At least they
could go to Gulf and send me to an English medium school....

"You stand up!" I understood parts of it, and remembered Thankachan saar telling
us that often in the English class. But I was a little surprised that the next 
part of the statement never came pouring out. "Get out!". Who was he asking
to stand up? Me? No, must be someone behind. The whole class of 80 was looking
at me, and I looked behind me. Nobody! there was no one behind me. The direct
consequence of which would mean that it had to be me. Gosh! I am caught for 
some naughty act. I was not sleeping, the guy next to me was. But he was wide
awake now, and was looking as fresh as the recently caught tuna from Alaska....

"What is law of heat conduction?" (I did not understand that then. I had to
forfeit a large share of my bus fare to con Santosh as to what he said) I
stood up and blinked like a hazard light. And then was the shock. "Chothichadu
manassilayo?" "Manassilayi" I said, to avoid embarassment in front of the
class. "What is it?" Oh, my God! Let me look at the next guy's book! Son of
a gun, the only advance he has made after I saw what he wrote last was that
he had underlined the word "heat"...

"Thanikku entha, padikkaNam ennu vicharam ille?" Mathai.
" " (What do you want me to answer? Will you understand what I am going through)
"Ethu schoolinna thaan varunnathu?" Mathai
"Pattom Thanu Pillai High School" (I hid the original name of KuRavankoNam High
School, lest should the elite crowd laugh)
"Athevida?"
Now I am stuck. Peevishly I said
"KuRavankoNam" (I cursed my parents for assassinating my school education with
that place. The only worse one could be Gundukaad, I thought)
Surprise! The crowd did not laugh. But I could see the sympathy in the 80 pairs
of eyes staring at me. But the most dangerous question was yet to follow.

"SSLC kku ethra maaRku kiTTi?"
I thought for a fraction of a second, whether I should tell them that it is only
242 or not...
"272" I said
"Appo tank vechu kayariyatha, alle?"
The whole crowd laughed. My sleeping friend laughed longer. My heat friend 
laughed in spurts. The Canadian girl (what's her name?) laughed loudly. The 
realization dawned on me that I was being skinned alive by Mathai....

"Useless! Sit down!" Ah! there comes the crumb of mercy.

While sitting down, a voice deep inside me told the other part of my mind,
"Chummathalla IyaLe piLLeru Pendulum Mathai ennu viLikunnathu!"

Sincerely
Michael

			Epilogue

11 years later at the University of Houston, Michael is still hopeful that
some day he will be able to understand the intricate details of Fourier's
Law of Heat Conduction, and has generated 8 programs each of 4000 lines or
so, delving deep into Finite Elements and Jet impingement and Critical Heat
Flux and on and on ...