Newsgroups: bit.listserv.cinema-l
Date:         Thu, 8 Oct 1992 12:52:49 BST
From:         Kerr Avon <lcc@WIN.ICL.CO.UK>
Subject:      Re: southern comfort/haggis

BTW, Sue (and other CINEMA-Lers), this topic originally started over on FILM-L
(with a discussion of the film _Whisky Galore_), and Scott accidentally
transferred part of it over here.  I am cross-posting to both lists...

>From: Gayle Gleason <ST402486@BROWNVM.BITNET>
>
> Oh no, Liam is quite right!  The poor little haggis beasties have been
> hunted almost out of existance.  You see, the simple, peace-loving animals
> are quite specialized and well designed for grazing on the hillsides of the
> Scottish Highlands.  They have four legs, but their left legs are shorter
> than their right legs.(or is it the other way around?  I can't remember.
> I suppose there are both right-legged and left-legged hassis', although
> I've never seen either.)
> Anyway, this allows for easy grazing and walking around the Highlands.
> The only problem is that it is VERY easy to catch one!  You just chase it
> the opposite direction that it was designed to walk!

Thanks Gayle.  I was beginning to wonder about my foreign cousins, who
wouldn't believe in real haggis.  I didn't mention the stuff about
the specialized evolution, since that tends to make people (who are already
a little skeptical) think you are making it all up!  However, here is
something I sent to a natural history list a while back:

----

Some more strange animals, of which people are not generally aware:-

The Haggis:  A small animal which lives near the top of most Scottish
	     mountains.  It's right legs are shorter that the left ones,
	     enabling it to run clockwise roung the mountain-top at
	     great speeds.  It is a stupid animal, though, and if it
	     tries to run anticlockwise, it overbalances and rolls down
	     the mountain.  It lies, stunned, in the valleys, whereupon
	     hunters capture and kill the animal, and sell it at inflated
	     prices to tourists, claiming that it is a great delicacy.

  \       ------                 \           ------
   \     / o  o \                 \         /      \
    \   /    >   \                 \       /  / \   \  _____\  (Topples over
     \  \  \___/ /                  \      \  WWW   /       /   and rolls down
      \  \______/                    \      \______/            the mountain)
       \  l   l  Correct              \      l   l  Incorrect
Mountain\ l   l  (Front       Mountain \     l   l  (Rear
  Side   \l   l   view)          Side   \    l   l   View)
          \   l                          \   l
           \  l                           \  l
            \ l                            \ l
             \l                             \l
              \                              \
               \                              \

The illustrations are obviously greatly exaggerated and simplified, but you
get the idea...
----

So, CINEMA-Lers and FILM-Lers, let me clarify.  _Yes_, there is a
haggis substitute made from sheep offal.  However, this is not a _true_
haggis.  And like I said, the real haggis is dangerously close to
extinction.  So next time you have some haggis, make sure you ask whether
it is real haggis, or haggis substitute.

>But I LIKE to eat haggis, with plenty of Islay malt scotch to wash it down!

There's no accounting for taste...
					Liam.
					====-

     KERR AVON    |   Work: ICL,   * "Go to hell, Avon!"
 aka Liam Cairney |Reading, England* "Probably."
  All e-mail to:- | Home: Glasgow, *    -- Servalan and Avon
lcc@win.icl.co.uk |    Scotland    *          (Blake's 7)
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