HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: res_ewv@exodus.valpo.edu
Subject: Re: Ethnic Food (RHF)
Organization: Valparaiso University
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 19:52:59 GMT
X-Posted-From: exodus.valpo.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

In article <S4c0.1c33@looking.on.ca>, gnb@bby.com.au (Gregory Bond) writes:

[Note:  This was originally ROT13ed in RHF]

> I went to an African restraunt last night.  It was a pretty cool
> place.  You sit in a sand pit for three hours and then someone drops a
> bag of wheat on your head.
> --
> Selected by Maddi Hausmann.  MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com
> Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.
>
> If you don't know how to decode this, ask a fellow reader at or near your site.
> DON'T ASK ME.  You take full responsibilty for decrypting the joke, and you
> give up all right to complain about its offensiveness if you do.
> If you MUST complain, look or ask for the RHF offensive jokes policy sheet.


Why in the world does Maddi find these hunger jokes so offensive.  Some of the
Somalia ones were, but this is no where nearly offensive as some things I've
seen on RHF.  Of course, Maddi's sense of humor leaves a lot to be desired.


 Eric Vaandering        Valparaiso University        Valparaiso IN, 46383
 E-Mail:                RES_EWV@exodus.valpo.edu     RES_EWV@VALPO.BITNET
 ____________________________________________________________________________
 Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
 I think I've forgotten this before.
                                 -Steven Wright
From: panton@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (Thomas panton)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: ACCOUNTING JOKES
Date: 16 Dec 92 01:59:29 GMT
Organization: Cybernet BBS, Boca Raton, Florida

hello out there.  i was wondering if anyone out there has some good 
accountant jokes.  i myself am an accounting grad student, which may be 
considerred a joke by some.  i appreciate any jokes.  thanks in advance.
        tom :)
        Panton@cybernet.cse.fau.edu
From: v140pxgt@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Car Acronyms
Date: 12 Dec 92 03:20:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <10DEC199212191291@jane.uh.edu>, st1ns@jane.uh.edu (Ault, Russell W.) writes...
>I've been trying to come up with something truly derisive for
>Volkswagen (I figure that since they can't get their act together
>anymore, they deserve all the bashing I can give them) but I
>haven't come up with anything sufficiently nasty and accurate.

A few weeks back (in fact, more than a month ago) I offered "Very Worthless"
I know it's not much, but it's a start.

>  My wife went to Harvard and all I got was this lousy .sig!
>      Russ Ault, aka st1ns@jetson.uh.edu 
>      (For the moment, anyway.  I reserve the right to
>       polymorph myself into something more formidable.)

								Dan Case
From: pgunterman@desire.wright.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Simpsons program
Date: 18 Dec 92 13:53:51 EST
Organization:  Wright State University 

In article <1992Dec15.165704.28145@burrhus.harvard.edu>, glazier@isr.harvard.edu (Andrew Baker Glazier) writes:
> sorry, that should be /pub/simpsons
> -- 
> "A horse! A horse! Somebody give me a horse, man, because|glazier@ 
> I come to bury this dirtball, not to praise him. Whaddya |harvard.isr.edu
> think I am? Whether it's nobler for the mind to make people suffer with all
> these totally outrageous arrows arrows for a fortune, or what!" -- D.R.
           
Hey! A D.R. and Quich fan in America, no less!!!

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: akp@cns.nyu.edu (Prashanth Kumar A.K.,Rm 1010)
Subject: Re: Test
Reply-To: akp@cns.nyu.edu
Organization: New York University
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 13:19:38 GMT

In article 133234@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu, cej0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (CHARLES EDWARD JAMES) writes:
> In article <1992Dec18.143400.6456@bmerh85.bnr.ca>, coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr.ca (Dav
> id Smith) writes:
> >In article <1992Dec18.020436.2148@news.arc.nasa.gov> nicholso@pioneer.arc.nasa.
> gov (Melvin H. Nicholson YBH) writes:
> >>In article <BzF6E3.Lp7@cck.coventry.ac.uk> cei352@cck.coventry.ac.uk (The Frea
> k) writes:
> >>>In article <1992Dec17.102719.13134@bsu-ucs> 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu write
> s:
> >>>>In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Rich
> man) writes:
> >>>>> In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@euler.Berk
> eley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
> >>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Tw
> yman) writes:
> >>>>>>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas
>  Orphanides) writes:
> >>>>>>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron H
> uang) writes:
> >>>>>>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (
> Vilas Khare) writes:
> >>>>>>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
> >>>>>>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
> >>>>>>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
> >>>>>>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
> >>>>>>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
> >>>>> This is starting to make me snore.
> >>>>is this the rec.humor people adore?
> >>>Or is it porn,which is hard core.?
> >>Haven't when been through all this before?
> >No, have some BEER and let me pour!
> Why have one when we can have four!
Please Mr.CHARLES EDWARD JAMES- not more!
Post I did,a little before,
(about an hour before,not more..
oh, the time difference-it makes me roar!)
requesting that that be the final score.
that did you miss or plain ignore?
And now, bear me, without rancour,
and pray,please dont be sore,
that from you I snatch the floor,
to make, as I hoped before,
(trying, hoping not to spill blood and gore)
a fervent plea,to all once more,
to not make this rec.humor.bore.
and this to progeny,thro' time's pore:
thus folks, in the days of yore,
we sat and spun folklore.
and no, I shall not contribute anymore,
lest people think me a boar,
to hog the space and bore.


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: keith@torme.sharebase.com (Keith Chambless)
Subject: Re: Invisible ASCII
Reply-To: keith@torme.sharebase.com (Keith Chambless)
Organization: NCR/ShareBase Corporation
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 92 16:47:23 GMT

In article <BzC5CI.JKz@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu (John Mechalas) writes:
>
>Read the subject again.  It's invisible ASCII.  Can't you see it?  ;)
>


Yes, I see it! It's the American Standard Code for Invisible Information.

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mam@jcnpc.cmhnet.org (Mike A. McAngus)
Subject: Re: FUNNY !
Organization: Homebrew Virtual Reality Labs
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 22:52:05 GMT

Why is this in rec.humor?
-- 
(mam@jcnpc.cmhnet.org) I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the 
whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law
respection an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise 
thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between church and State." Jefferson
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash)
Subject: Re: unisex restroom symbol needed for New York Thruway
Reply-To: bcash@crchh410.BNR.CA (Brian Cash)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 23:53:31 GMT

In article <1992Dec13.091602.1855@lub001.lamar.edu>,
lairdpg@lub001.lamar.edu writes:
|>In article <bd#24yj@rpi.edu>, fitzgb@mml0.meche.rpi.edu (Brian
Fitzgerald) writes:
|>> According to today's Albany Times Union, "If you've been wanting to see
|>> one of the lavish new travel plazas on the New York State Thruway but
|>> have no plans for a road trip, never fear.  The newest souped-up rest
|>> area -- the 10th of 26 being redesigned -- opens today.  ...  restrooms
|>> are now equipped with self flushing toilets, automatic faucets and
|>> diaper changing stations.  There is also a private, unisex restroom
|>> where children or people with disabilities can receive assistance from
|>> a traveling companion."
|>> 
|>> I used a self flushing urinal at the new rest area on my way back from
|>> Thanksgiving break.  An infrared sensor detects when you have moved
|>> away, and flushes the urinal.  Does this mean that if the urinal
|>> doesn't flush, then your presence was unnoticeable? :-)
|>> 
|>> Here are the standard restroom signs (sort of).  Evidently, New York
|>> will be needing a unisex restroom sign.  If you have any ideas for 
|>> the new unisex restroom sign, post them here.
|>> 
|>>                    XX                                      XX
|>>                   XXXX                                    XXXX
|>>                   XXXX                                    XXXX
|>>                    XX                                      XX
|>>                  XXXXXX                                    XX
|>>                  XXXXXX                                   XXXX
|>>                  XXXXXX                                  XXXXXX
|>>                  XXXXXX                                 XXXXXXXX
|>>                    XX                                  XXXXXXXXXX
|>>                    XX                                      XX
|>>                    XX                                      XX
|>> 
|>> Brian
|>
|>Brian, How about just drawing a circle with a hot-dog in the middle.   It
|>could be used the same way - The buns and then the dogs.  But then... Hope
|>some hungry soul don't go rushing in thinking it is fast food stand!
|>
|>----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|>Grady Laird               Internet: lairdpg@lub001.lamar.edu
|>Standard disclaimers apply!   My opinions only!
|>----------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                         

How about:





                     XX
                    XXXX
                    XXXX
           XXX    X  XX   X   XXX
             XX  XXXXXXXXXX  XX
              XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
               XX XXXXXXXX XX
                  XXXXXXXX
                    XXXX
                    XXXX
                    XXXX
                    XXXX

Brian /-|-\
From: mark@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (M.C. Rendina )
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Rubber jokes
Summary: I need 'em
Keywords: Don't be silly, wrap your...
Date: 13 Dec 92 19:00:28 GMT
Article-I.D.: ux1.Bz7ot7.HEB
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana

I remember back in the dorms, someone down the hall had a listing of rubber 
jokes... stuff like 

"don't be silly, wrap your willy"... 
"before you hump, wrap your stump..."
"before you whack 'er, pack your ??er"...  

Anyway, they got stolen (big surprise) before I got a copy of them, but they
were damn funny and I was just trying to remember them the other day.
I'm sure someone on this net  must have them... can anyone please send them
my way?  Thanks a kajillion!!


=====================================================================
Mark Rendina                                    o        ___ __        
jedi@uiuc.edu               __/\o_     __o     < \        |  | \  |
University of Illinois               _ \<_    _/\         |  |_/  |
                                    (_)/(_)     /   Just  |  | \  |
Xref: sparky rec.humor:36385 soc.culture.soviet:11036
From: muh@physics.Berkeley.EDU (Yury M. Mukharsky)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,soc.culture.soviet
Subject: Re: some Soviet emigre restaurant jokes
Date: 14 Dec 1992 18:16:54 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: physics.berkeley.edu

In article <gDyoVB1w165w@bwalk.dm.com> dlv@bwalk.dm.com (Dimitri Vulis) writes:
>
Kto nibud' znaet, gde vzroslo eto blednoe chudo? Na prostorah Oklahomschiny ili
na pomoikah NYC? Ili on vse zhe sam sebja sechet?

Yury M.
From: babar+@pitt.edu (Jonggu Moon)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: someone finish these songs
Date: 17 Dec 92 14:12:11 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh


Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost ripping off your nose
... ?

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells Robin Laid an egg.
Batmobile lost its wheel and the joker ran away.
... ?



I hate those normal xmas songs. Sung so normally with normal
background music and normal scenery and normal stupid little
smiles on everybody's stupid heads.

I am a graduate student so for several years in a row
during the most stressing parts of end of semester and
final exams, the radio would play these songs over and over again.

So now, due to the pavlov conditioning, everytime I hear a
normal xmas song, my body responds with tension and anxiety
and a sense of hopelessness as if I'm about to have a final exam soon :(

thank god xmas comes only once a year.

I heard that psychologically, for every year it takes to 
condition a pavlov response, it takes half a year to de-condition
the subject. 
So after I'm finished with school for real, it means it will take
3 or 4 years until I can feel at ease and relaxed listening to a
xmas song. :(

- jon
From: petitc@nuge106.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Why Women Like Trombone Players
Date: 16 Dec 92 21:19:03 GMT

v140pxgt@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case) writes:

>In article <_6l2cdc@rpi.edu>, petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes...
>>(This is somewhat 'dirty' so stop now if you don't like slightly off-color
>>jokes)
>> 
>>Know why women like trombone players so miuch?
>> 
>> 
>>Because trombone players have something that's always long and hard.

>I thought it was because they could do it in seven positions...

  When I told someone this joke, he thought the answer was:

Because trombone players know how to slide.
-- 
Now on sale, in Aisle 5 of the Divine Supermarket---Lives, and Clues.  Buy
yours now and avoid the rush!  They make great Christmas gifts!
Cynicism is only realism projected into the future.
If your fondest wish is to fly, don't draw up plans for flippers.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gambrose@engr.UVic.CA (Gene  Ambrose)
Subject: blonde joke
Reply-To: gambrose@engr.UVic.CA
Organization: University of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 02:16:37 GMT

what do you call six blondes in a Volkswagen?





































Farfrumthinken.


nuk nuk nuk

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: srmaygar@eos.ncsu.edu (STEVEN RICHARD MAYGAR)
Subject: Re: AGGIE
Originator: srmaygar@c00517-118rd.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: srmaygar@eos.ncsu.edu (STEVEN RICHARD MAYGAR)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 22:40:22 GMT


>        Please excuse my ignorance, but who or what is an Aggie?


An Aggie is a student or a person who goes or went to Texas A&M University.  In
Texas, many people pick on Texas A&M as a laughing stock.

Stallion

Because they are!!

GO NCSU!!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: comptec90071@camins.camosun.bc.ca
Subject: funny riddle
Organization: Camosun College
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 02:56:12 GMT

A long time ago in the mystical land of Tridd, there lived a bunch
of people called (appropriatly enough) Tridds. One day a travelling
Rabbi happened to stop in the main city of Tridd. That day, the mayor
of Tridd came up to the Rabbi and asked if he could help vanquish this
snow monster that resided on top of a nearby hill. The Rabbi said that
he couldn't help them in that way. SO the next day, the mayor and 25% of
the village climbed the hill to defeat the snow monster. Unfortunatly, the
snow monster just kicked the Tridds back down. The following day, the mayor
and 50% of the village climbed the hill, but the same result happened. So
the next day, the mayor pleaded and begged the Rabbi to help them. The
Rabbi agreed. So, all of the village and the Rabbi went up the hill. The
evil snow monster kicked all of the Tridds down the hill, but didn't even
touch the Rabbi. So the Rabbi asked the snow monster "Why didn't you kick
me down the hill along with the Tridds?"
To which the snow monster replied.....
 
 
 
      "Silly Rabbi, Kicks are for Tridds"
 

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sundaram@me.uta.edu (Ravi 'Kity Bum' Sundaram)
Subject: Re: More Puzzle
Organization: none
	<1992Dec14.173241.3487@sunova.ssc.gov>
	<1992Dec14.194648.19327@bmerh85.bnr.ca>
	<1992Dec15.011229.2206@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu>
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 18:06:48 GMT


>   In article <1992Dec14.194648.19327@bmerh85.bnr.ca> coop1d11@bmerh301.bnr.ca (David Smith) writes:
>   >Jesus Christ, a Catholic Vampire, a locksmith and a dromedary enter the Chemist's
>   >one Thursday afternoon to buy a package of Rothman's.  A beautiful young woman
>   >attempts to get the camel to lay down but fails.  She walks off in a huff.  Jesus 
>   >asks the clerk for some Rothman's and a 44-piece socket set.  What was the
>   >color of the pharmacists left elbow?
>
>In article <1992Dec15.011229.2206@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu> ece_0273@bigdog.engr.arizona.edu (Christopher Aguilar) ANSWERS:
>   The pharmacists left elbow is RED.  This is because all pharmacists
>   stand on a really high platform making them have to look down on the
>   customer.  The pharmacist had been bending over the counter all day to
>   help people, so they were red from being rubbed raw.
>   --
>    Christopher Aguilar			Yo camino por la vida,
 

	No it is Green.

	Why?

	Why not?

Ravi
From: murali@chuck.polymer.uakron.edu (Murali Cotah)
Subject: HELP!
Organization: Institute of Polymer Science, University of Akron
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 23:29:35 GMT

Keywords: 

>ObJoke:
     Q:   How do you change a blonde's mind?
     A1:  Blow in her ear.
Tim Hollebeek 
>
"Blow in her ear ...!" 
My ... thats pure skill!!!
cotah
From: j4jbail@srv.PacBell.COM (Jack Bailey)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Airline acronyms and names
Date: 16 Dec 92 01:24:47 GMT
Organization: Pacific * Bell

>>>ALITALIA
>>>
>>>Always Late In Transit, Always Late In Arrival
>>
>>DELTA: Departures Extra-Late, Tardy Arrivals
>>
>>PAN AM: Pilots Are Not A Must
>
>TWA - Travel With Arabs
>
>that's why I fly Delta-
>
>Don't Even Let Them Aboard.
>

LUFTHANSA

Let Us F*ck The Hostesses And Not Say Anything

-- 
J.J.Bailey	j4jbail@srv.pacbell.com
Contractor	510.823.6453
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hayashi@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Warren Bocho Hayashi)
Subject: WANTED: David Letterman Top Ten Lists
Organization: Computer Science Department, Stanford University.
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 02:28:37 GMT


	 Can someone please mail me a list of Letterman's Top Ten for ....
Thanks in advance.

Warren
hayashi@xenon.stanford.edu
From: epoe@raven.nevermore.deadpoets.com (Edgar Poe)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Test
Date: 17 Dec 92 18:25:27 GMT
Organization: Dead Poets Society

In article <1992Dec17.102719.13134@bsu-ucs>, 01jmbrown@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu writes:
|> In article <1992Dec17.003955.27658@spock.UUCP>, gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Richman) writes:
|> > In article <1992Dec11.232428.9398@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> xiaohan@euler.Berkeley.EDU (Xiaohan Yun) writes:
|> >>In article <1992Dec7.232807.15638@spock.UUCP> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Twyman) writes:
|> >>>In article <1992Dec7.225159.15483@spock.UUCP> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides) writes:
|> >>>>In article <1992Dec6.212621.12609@spock.UUCP> bane@spock.uucp (Cameron Huang) writes:
|> >>>>>In article <184434@pyramid.pyramid.com> vkhare@misdev.mis.pyramid.com (Vilas Khare) writes:
|> >>>>>>.this is a test message, please ignore.
|> >>>>>You are a dork, and your post's a bore.
|> >>>>Read alt.test for tests galore.
|> >>>I hope this cascade doesn't go on much more.
|> >>But you know that you are telling a forklore.
|> > This is starting to make me snore.
|> is this the rec.humor people adore?
But not as much as I've loved Lenore...
From: fmg@alpha.smi.med.pitt.edu (Filip Gieszczykiewicz)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: 2 original (??) jokes and a skit
Summary: r.h.f rejected it! + rip on Billy
Date: 20 Dec 92 07:45:19 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Distribution: usa
Organization: Medical Informatics


	Greetings. 

	JOKE: (election time)

	Before the 1992 presidential election, I always replied, "Bill and
	Opus in '92" as to who I was going to vote for... well, it seems
	Bill DID win... ACK!!! PTHHHH!!

	(Off topic, is it only me or has anyone else noticed that if you
	misspell "Clinton" you get "Clit-on" Maybe that's where all his
	problems "stem" from... ho hum...;-)

	OBJ1: (In the Christmas 'vein') (NOT original)

	A store-owning jewish father takes his little son to his store
	after the holidays and says, "Look at all the [empty] shelves,
	we have a friend in Jesus!". harhar

	OBJ2: (this should be a skit for SatNiteLive, akin the Fun Ball ;-)

	"For those who have to endure long trips with the family after
	pigging out on food... Introducing the NEW, the IMPROVED
			BUTT-PLUGS(tm)!!
	They come in a variety of colors and sizes to comfortably fit
	everyone baby Joe to Grandma Ann. Beautifully styled from pure 
	latex rubber, they provide lifelong(*) service and complete 
	protection from embarrasing leaks. BUTT-PLUGS(tm) make excellent 
	Christmas gifts for those who have everything!

	(*) If BUTT-PLUGS(tm) every fail, there is no need to send them in, 
	we will gladly replace them - no questions asked! "

	Copyright 1992 by Filip Gieszczykiewicz
-- 
+------------------------------------------+----------------------------------+
| Filip "I'll buy a vowel" Gieszczykiewicz | Best: "fmgst+@pitt.edu"          |
| "If I feel that I've made this world a   | Or: "fmg@alpha.smi.med.pitt.edu" |
| better place, I will die content." - Me  | Ftr wnr f TLJ Rsrch!             |
From: keven@csugrad.cs.vt.edu (Keven Ring)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: West Virginia
Date: 15 Dec 92 02:22:40 GMT
Organization: Virginia Tech Computer Science Dept, Blacksburg, VA

mike@wilma.ssc.gov (Michael A. Bodie) writes:
> 
> If Virginia is for lovers, I'm from Missouri.

Well, seeing as ONE of the state mottos for VA is the above mentioned, I will
assume you are from Missouri.  Since that is the case, COULD YOU EXPLAIN ONE
OF YOUR STATES MOTTO'S FOR ME, in particular, the one the goes:

Missouri:  The Show Me State.

What the hell is there to show in missouri?  

Yes, I have been there, so y'all from missoura that wanna go a flamin me can
go right ahed.  "Show Me" whatcha got.


> 
> =========================================================================
> Put this in your mouth and repeat after me. | mike@wilma.ssc.gov
> Wallamalloo, wallamalloo, wallamalloo.      | Disclaimer: 
> --Australian Proverb (slightly adapted)     | Me? I didn't say nothing.
-- 
+-----------------------+"Frank-n-furter, it's all o-ver
|Keven Ring		|your mission is a failure. Your lifesyle's too extreme
|keven@csugrad.cs.vt.edu|I'm your new commander - You are now my prisoner
|VPI & SU		|We return to Transylvania.
From: prem@prem.lbl.gov (xyz)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: oh, no, not the good stuff..
Date: 15 Dec 1992 00:31:27 GMT
Organization: Human Genome Center at LBL
Distribution: world
Reply-To: prem@prem.lbl.gov (xyz)
NNTP-Posting-Host: prem.lbl.gov

 In article <1992Dec13.165441.13997@escom.com>, al@escom.com (Al
Donaldson) writes:

 |> But they didn't take any of Dylan's own famous recordings, instead, 
 |> the police spokesperson said, 
 |>
 |>	"The vandals took the Handel"

	And the thought of the burglars coming Bach 
        must have left him feeling pretty Lisztless.

	Prem!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: klewis@AFIT.AF.MIL (Keith A. Lewis)
Subject: Your mother is so fat..........
Organization: Air Force Institue of Technology, WPAFB OH
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 15:36:14 GMT

Listen to these jokes.


Your mother is so fat.....they use the elastic from her underwear as a 
bungee cord.


Your mother is so fat......she irons her clothes in the driveway.


Your mother is so fat......the department stores won't sell her an "X" 
T-Shirt because the helicopters will mistake her for a landing mark.



If ugly was bricks........your mother would be the Empire State Building.



Your mother is so old.......when Moses parted the Red Sea, she was on the 
other side.


Your mother is so old......she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.




there is more where that came from.   If you need more mother jokes please 
e-mail me.



]
keith


Newsgroups: rec.humor