HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: reid@ucs.indiana.edu (Frank Reid)
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: sacrelegious filk
Date: 20 Dec 92 21:53:46 GMT
Organization: Indiana University

In article <n1265t@ofa123.fidonet.org> Major.Matt.Mason@p11.f715.n273.z1.
fidonet.org writes:
>On 12/15/92, Frank Reid said to All concerning sacrelegious filk: >
>  FR> "Why's everbody wanna crucify me?"
> 
>OOOOOOOK!  Okay, you have me inspired.
>
>He walks through the Temple
>Cool and slow
>Say, who calls
>Ol' King Herod "Daddy-O"?
>

   Tells those money-changers
   That they gotta go!

>...

>Down on his knees
>Who's that we see?
>Come seven, come eleven
>At Gethesmane?
>
>Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,
>He's so nice, that Jesus Christ.
>He's gonna get nailed, just you wait and see.
>"Why's everbody wanna crucify me?"
>
>(Standard disclaimers apply to my bits.  Frank?  Whaddaya think?)
>
>--- MacWoof Eval:25Oct92

Love it!  Guess we're gonna have to recreate the whole thing!  Lotsa
possibilities!

--

Frank     reid@ucs.indiana.edu
From: Kay.Shapero@f524.n102.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: Mathoms, Gracey?
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 14 Dec 92  08:51:27

On <Dec 13 00:31>, jsl@athena.mit.edu (J. Spencer Love)

 JS>Well, it's interesting to hear about the mathoms at Lee Gold's 
 JS>birthday
 JS>party at ConChord, for which I surely can't take any credit.  I 
 JS>missed
 JS>attending it, or even knowing about it; when was that party?

So did I, alas - it was downstairs and once Vicky went to sleep I didn't want 
to get too far away from the hotel room.  Since the con suite was right across 
the hall, I did the obvious.

Incidentally, Lee has maintained a mathom box at home for years - if you have 
something you don't want but somebody might you put it there - if you see
something you want you take it out. 

--- msged 2.06
From: Dave.Aronson@p11.f120.n109.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: non-holiday song
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 15 Dec 92  14:51:06

 BDS>               Loot and Plunder, Rape and Kill
 BDS>                (tune of Supercalifrag...from Mary Poppins)

Oh!  I'd seen (but not heard) the chorus before, and it scans perfectly to
"Pop Goes the Weasel", at least without the "Oh" bits.  Even the verse can be 
stuffed into it....


--- Maximus 2.01wb
From: Bruce.Lane@f412.n161.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Lyrics Needed
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 13 Dec 92  00:27:01

KS >No - use e-mail.  The thing is copyright and has no business
KS >being broadcast over the net.

    Right. (sheepysh gryn). Please do use NetMail. Copyright problems I can
live without.

==Bruce

---
From: Joe.Bethancourt@f72.n114.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: lords of the dance
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 06 Dec 92  11:41:00

 -=> Beth Diane Garfinkel said to All on 12-03-92  18:58 <=-

 >Could that, by any chance, be the same tune as "Shaking of the Sheets" by
 >Steeleye Span? Scansion looks a lot like it.

 BDG> Actually, "Lord of the Dance" is the same tune as the Shaker hymn,
 BDG> "'Tis the Gift to be Simple," which is also heard in Aaron Copeland's
 BDG> Appalachian Spring:

And there's another tune too....I used it on my recording of the song.

 BDG> If the Steelye Span song is the one I think it is (and which album is
 BDG> that off of, pray tell? I never heard it before!) , well, now that I
 BDG> think of it, they would fit fairly well--or at least, it would be
 BDG> fairly easy to fit the words of "Shaking of the Sheets" to the tune of
 BDG> "'Tis the Gift to be Simple" but NOT the other way around. .

Actually it wouldn't fit "Shaking of the Sheets" all that well, but the
Steeleye Span tune for  S of the S is NEAT....and creepy, too!

... <<< Tagline deleted by Nat'l Endowment for the Arts >>>


--- WM v2.04/92-0475
From: Charlotte.Jerscheid@f1044.n261.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Rush Limbaugh
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 16 Dec 92  15:36:00

 SS> <We have witnesses who say Richard Sarner spoke to Shadow Spear
 SS> about Rush Limbaugh on 11-27-92  01:10>
 SS-> wouldn't it? Actually I haven't tried to fit it to any music, most of
 SS-> my poems don't fit music.  oh well.
 RS> 
 RS> There's always "greensleeves" and "Gilligan's Isle"... <g>  


 SS> Thanks, but I don't count "Greensleeves" when I am looking for a
 SS> tune, because EVERYTHING can be sung to it.
 SS> I must admit, I never thought of "Gilligan's Island", though it seems
 SS> to be the same type of tune, as "Greensleeves".  ;)
 SS> Shadow Spear

Yup...I tried it.  You can sing the words to "Gilligan's Island" to the tune
of "Greensleeves."  And vice verse.
                                              :-)  csj
.
 
... SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
--- Blue Wave/RA v2.10 [NR]
From: J-Mag@p25.f2000.n106.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: The Lair of Cthulu
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 09 Dec 92  19:28:46

                         The Lair Of Great C'thulu
                         -------------------------

               (sung to the tune of "Chatanooga Choo-Choo")


 Pardon me boy -
 Is this the lair of Great Cthulu?
 In the city of slime,
 Where it is night all the time.

 Bob Hope never went
 Along the road to Great Cthulu
 And Triple-A has no maps,
 And all the Tcho-tchos lay traps.

 You'll see an ancient sunken city where the angles are wrong.
 You'll see the fourth dimension if you're there very long.
 Come to the conventacle.
 Bring along your pentacle;
 Otherwise you'll be dragged off by a tentacle.

 A mountian's in the middle, with a house on the peak:
 A gnashin' and a thrashin' and a clackn' of beak.
 Your soul you will be lackin'
 When you see that mighty kraken.
 Oo oo! Great Cthulu's starting to speak.

 So come on aboard,
 Along the road to Great Cthulhu.
 Wen-di-gos and dholes
 Will make Big Macs of our souls.

 Under the sea,
 Down in the ancient city of R'lyeh
 In the lair of Great Cthulu,
 They'll suck your soul away!

 (Great Cthulu, Great Cthulu -
 Suck your soul!-
 Great Cthulu, Great Cthulu)
 In the lair of Great Cthulu,
 They'll suck your soul away.

(Originally posted by Dave Aronson 23 Nov 91)

- J-Mag

--- GoldED 2.40
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
From: mba@controls.ccd.harris.com (Belinda Asbell)
Subject: Re: lords of the dance
Originator: mba@sp1
Organization: Harris Controls
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 13:12:07 GMT


In article <Bz5wEt.CFD@chinet.chi.il.us>, roper@chinet.chi.il.us 
(Bill Roper) writes:

|> We dance out the window and we fall to the ground.
|> We all go SPLAT and we hear a joyful sound,
|> For the people who were listening know that this will end our song
|> And the day of our dancing now is done.
|>  
|> SPLAT, SPLAT, whoever you may be.
|> This is the force we call gravity,
|> And it pulls on you as it pulls on me,
|> And it pulls us all to eternity.
|> -- 
|> Bill Roper, roper@chinet.chi.il.us


ROFLMAO!

-- 
=============================================================================
Belinda Asbell        +  System Administrator, Harris Controls Division
mba@ccd.harris.com    +      Any opinions presented are mine alone.
  Good judgment comes from experience.  Experience comes from bad judgment.
From: Suzanne.Buck@f12.n312.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Lehrer
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 16 Dec 92  18:24:31

Bob, could I possibly inveigle you into posting YET ANOTHER TIME the "Whatever 
Became of Lehrer?" song.  I loved it, but was stupid enough not to save it for 
a friend who is also fond of Lehrer.

Couldja couldja huh? <g>

SLB


---
From: Dave.Aronson@p11.f120.n109.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: Filking...I'm new to the
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 17 Dec 92  14:55:14

be726@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Joseph A. Ellis Jr.) writes:

 JE> In a previous article, figmo@netcom.com (Lynn Gold) says:

 LG> Guys, GUYS!  You need a few people who play classical string
 LG> instruments so you can have "saxes and violins!"

 JE> Sorry, Lynn, I'm sure you're a nice lady and all,
 JE> but I'm a very strong believer
 JE> in non-violins. I won't string you along. I don't fiddle around.

Normally I'd join in, but I'll bow out this time.  Don't fret over it, at
least not enough to go nuts and jump off a bridge.  (Then again, many of us
wouldn't have the gut to do that.)


--- Maximus 2.01wb
From: Major.Matt.Mason@p11.f715.n273.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: Harmonics On Guitar..
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 12 Dec 92  17:58:34

On 12/10/92, David Hungerford said to All concerning Re: Harmonics On
Guitar..: 

  Ut> Ironically, I have heard that the people who bought it made the same
  Ut> mistake, i.e. they thought they were buying the Tower Bridge.  (Runs
  Ut> and hides from imminent kabong.)

Say, if they wrote a filk about the mistake, would the section without words
in the middle of the song be the London Bridge bridge?  (g, d & r)

-MMM-

--- MacWoof Eval:25Oct92
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
From: rafe@cix.compulink.co.uk (Rafe Culpin)
Subject: Re: Pentatonic
Reply-To: rafe@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 23:10:00 +0000

Correction to my previous post: Pentatonic membership rate goes up to
25UKP on 1st Jan 93. This will also be the on-the-door rate. So join
now at 18UKP folks!

Rafe


... He's metabolically challenged, Jim!
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
From: mvp@netcom.com (Mike Van Pelt)
Subject: Re: All these x-mas filks are
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 01:08:13 GMT

In article <n11dct@ofa123.fidonet.org> Harry.Smothers@f281.n120.z1.fidonet.org writes:
>Oops.  I beg forgiveness.  I already posted this one, and referenced 
>Murray Porath as the author, but did not receive permission.

Silly you.  Murray is (*gasp*) LAWYER.  

-- 
Mike Van Pelt          | What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth?
mvp@netcom.com         | Judging from realistic simulations involving a
                       | sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we
                       | can assume it will be pretty bad. -- Dave Barry
From: Major.Matt.Mason@p11.f715.n273.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: All these x-mas filks are
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 17 Dec 92  20:40:20

On 12/13/92, Harry Smothers said to Major Matt Mason concerning All these
x-mas filks are: 

  HS> Somebody, I believe it was Murray Porath, already has something
  HS> similar on a OVFF tape of many years ago.  (Great minds think alike. 
  HS> So do we.) This is the way I remember it, since I can't find the tape
  HS> right now...
  
[0mitted]

  HS> Apologies to whoever might be out there and noticed my horrible
  HS> spelling of the Nichiren Shoshu chant, but at least I only did it
  HS> once.

(snicker) Not bad, though.

-MMM-

--- MacWoof Eval:25Oct92
From: Scott.Malcomson@f110.n114.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: All these x-mas filks are making
Date: 10 Dec 92 03:50:00 GMT
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992


 Major Matt Mason denied allegations of involvement with Mike Liebmann over
All these x-mas filks are making:

 MMM> When what to my wondering 
 MMM> Eyes should show up
 MMM> But a little chihuahua
 MMM> in a large coffee cup...

 MMM> (Anybody wanna finish this?)

You got it, bubby.

He ranted and shouted
And crack-ed his whip
At the large cat that pulled him
Who seemed quite the dip.

Rapid as slugs, this kitty he came
The chihuahua, he screamed, and called out his name:

"Hey, STEEMPY! You sack!
 You sick little monkey!
 Your breath is horrid
 And your armpits are funky!"

"We gotta get all of
 These toys to the kiddies!
 So move your fat TAIL,
 You big stupid kitty!"

"I got rounds to make!
 And cookies to scarf!
 I'll have so many cookies
 That I could just barf!"

My jaw was agape!
I could not believe
That Santa was a dog
I could fit up my sleeve!

His suit, it was tiny
His cap, like a cone
He dropped off the toys
And made for the phone!

I backed up the hallway,
Had just about fled,
When he looked right at me
And waggled his head.

For a moment I stood
Still as a rock
He ordered a pizza
While I was in shock.


[Okay, I'm burnt out for now...who'll finish off this loathsome filk, hmmmm?]


---LCD

... AHHH HA HA! I'll GET you, my pretty, and your little pterodactyl too!
--- Blue Wave/QBBS v2.10
From: Joe.Bethancourt@f72.n114.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: scadian children...
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 10 Dec 92  15:57:00

 -=> Shirley Smith said to All on 12-08-92  19:53 <=-

 SS> Just curious, has anyone heard Jim Croce doing the Ball of Kerrymuir??
 SS> Great drinking song, Heavy Scottish accent.  Also The Scotsman by Dr.
 SS> Demento  himself (I think)....great tunes!!

Heh! "The (Sleeping) Scotsman" is written by Mike Cross.....& if you want
"The Ball of Kirriemuir (aka Ball of Ballyknure)" I have a collection of
over 300 verses for it...all capable of removing paint!


... * <-------Tribble  @ (----------Tribble in a whirlpool
--- Blue Wave/QWK v2.10


--- WM v2.04/92-0475
From: Harry.Smothers@f281.n120.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: All these x-mas filks are
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 14 Dec 92  11:47:00

 On 12-11-92 Mary Kay Kare wrote to Sherman Dorn... 
 
 MK> And I just remembered that last year about this time we ran across a 
 MK> new Tom Lehrer song (at least one we'd never heard before) about 
 MK> spending Hannukah in 
 MK> Santa Monica.  JOrdin has a tape of it around, but it's never been 
 MK> transribed. So what am I offered to transcribe and post? 
 
All I can find to offer is eternal and undying gratitude.  I'd offer 
money, but I would then not be able to pay the rent...  PLEASE??? 
 
... OFFLINE 1.41 * Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?? 

--- DCQwk/T.A.G.  1.5
From: Major.Matt.Mason@p11.f715.n273.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Mathoms, Gracey?
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 12 Dec 92  18:17:47

On 12/9/92, Pete Granzeau said to Allan Burrows concerning Mathoms, Gracey?: 

  AB> Pardon, please; what is a "mathom"?
  AB> 
  PG> Something out of J. R. R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings".  I won't look
  PG> it up, but it's something like a useless present for a party.
 
As I recall, it's a present that never gets unwrapped, but is given back and
forth to various people over the years...I think somebody wrote a sea chantey 
about the custom once, called "Forty Mathoms Down" or something like that...
(grinning, ducking and running)

-MMM-

--- MacWoof Eval:25Oct92
From: Joe.Bethancourt@f72.n114.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: even more neo-pagan stuff
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 11 Dec 92  17:04:00

                                *

              YE CHILDREN ALL OF MOTHER EARTH
                                     -Ellen Reed
          ( Tune: "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear")

Ye children all of Mother Earth
join hands and circle around
To celebrate the Solstice night
When our lost Lord is found.
   Rejoice, the year has begun again
   The Sun blesses skies up above
   So share the season together now
   In everlasting Love!

                                *

                    GLORIA
                      -Ellen Reed

           Snow lies deep upon the Earth
           Still our voices warmly sing
           Heralding the glorious birth
           Of the Child, the Winter King
              Glo -- ria!
              In excelsis Deo!
              Glo -- ria!
              In excelsis Dea!

           Our triumphant voices claim
           Joy and hope and love renewed
           And our Lady's glad refrain
           Answer Winter's solitude
              Glo -- ria!(etc.)

           In Her arms a holy Child
           Promises a glowing Light
           Through the winter wind so wild
           He proclaims the growing Light.
              Glo -- ria! (etc..)

           Now the turning of the year
           Of the greater Turning sings
           Passing age of cold and fear
           Soon our golden summer brings.
              Glo -- ria! (etc..)



... UNIVERSE.DAT not located, suspect All


--- WM v2.04/92-0475
From: Snake@f113.n106.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Baaaaad karma
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 17 Dec 92  09:30:15

 -=> J-Mag after the arraignment hearing said to Kirby Wallace <=-

 >> Everyone please give me a hand (pun) in completing my list
 >> of top 40 all time favourite Leprosy hits:

 J-> Leprosy
 J-> All my skin is falling off of me
 J-> I'm not half the man I used to be
 J-> Since I contracted leprosy.

 J-> (to the tune of "Yesterday")

Why it has to go
I don't know
it sloughs away...
Once my looks were swell
Now my smell
Keeps girls away

Leprosy
All my digits rotted off of me
I'm not handy like I used to be
Since I contracted leprosy

Why they had to go
I don't know
They're gone my dear
Now I've only stubs
More like clubs
To wipe my rear

Leprosy
Oozing pustules burst all over me
I'm insensitive as stone you see
Since I contracted Leprosy

From whence comes this flow
I don't know
And couldn't say
Please, my friend don't gag
Take this rag
It's your sachet

Leprosy
All I once held dear deserted me
But I've little left to lose, you see
Since I contracted Leprosy
Since I contracted Leprosy


Copyright '92 Snake  boy, oh boy do I hope my karma is up for this...
Feel free to use it, just speak well of me and send good thoughts...


... Headline: World Health Org. studies show cases of Leprosy falling off!  



... Pseudonym Force II-- Donna. Harry returns. She's packin' and has PMS!
--- Blue Wave/Max v2.10 [NR]
From: figmo@netcom.com (Lynn Gold)
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: My last two songs...
Date: 20 Dec 92 21:44:09 GMT
Organization: The Burn the Candle at Both Ends Club

In article <n1277t@ofa123.fidonet.org> Harry.Smothers@f281.n120.z1.fidonet.org writes:
>On the recording I have of "Temperature of Revenge" Tom makes a couple 
>of comments on Julia's feelings about his song - that might be the 
>in-joke ... Don't buy "Who Let Him In Here" unless you can't get a copy 
>of "Songs By Tom Smith" -- the latter tape has all the songs on the 
>former and more (actually, Songs By was sort of a demo tape recorded by 
>Tim Ryan). 

I'll bite...where can I find "Songs By Tom Smith?"

--Lynn
From: Mary.Creasey@f524.n102.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: Philadelphia filksinging
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 14 Dec 92 10:35:55

Also, get in touch with Carol Kabakjian; I was at what was [I believe]
the first housefilk in Philadelphia, back about April '89 (I was in
PA for mundane schooling); Carol was one of the organizers. I believe
Rich [her husband] reads this echo on Opiophile Opus.
Carol's also the editor of _Philly Philk Phlash_, which (alas) 
seems to have suspended publication.


---
From: Uucp@ofa123.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Re: Rush Limbaugh
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 18 Dec 92  13:22:18

From  ucivax!pathmac.med.cornell.edu!cumc.cornell.edu!phydeaux
From: phydeaux@cumc.cornell.edu ("The person your mother warned you about" )
To:   filk@ofa123.fidonet.org
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 16:07:49 EST

In message <3730.2B316BAD@ofa123.fidonet.org> "filk.ml-error" writes:
> 
> 
> Send replys to: Richard.Sarner@f236.n271.z1.fidonet.org
> 
> SS->    Thanks, but I don't count "Greensleeves" when I am looking for a
> SS->    I must admit, I never thought of "Gilligan's Island", though it
> 
> It's a short cut, but it works till you settle in on a more permanant tune.
>   Singing Rush to Gilligan's Isle might imply he's sinking. <g>  

We should only be so lucky!

Just imagine the Rush Limbaugh Marching Cadence...the troops are assembled,
and the sargeant barks out, "Right!  Right!  Right-right-right!"



--
Dave Weingart   KB2CWF      In the event I am captured or killed, the Cornell
phydeaux@cumc.cornell.edu   University Medical College and the Office of 
phydeaux@src4src.linet.org  Academic Computing will disavow any knowledge of
                            my opinions.


--- Squish v1.01
From: Pete.Granzeau@f236.n271.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Filking The Taglines
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 13 Dec 92  10:59:00

BL>Hi Scott!

BL>SF>       I had thought of doing one to Waltzing Matilda along the lines
of:
BL>SF>
BL>SF>Stealing the taglines.
BL>SF>Stealing the taglines.
BL>SF>Stealing and laughing uproariously.
BL>SF>
BL>SF>However while I know the melody to the refrain I don't know the
BL>SF>melody to the verses.

BL>You may or may not know that "Waltzing Matilda" is the national anthem
BL>of Australia.  So, you could try borrowing a record of national anthems
BL>from the library.  Alternatively, I know of a few programs that display
BL>the flags of the world and play the country's anthem.  You might find it
BL>on a local BBS.

BL>Good luck with the song: "Waltzing Matilda" is a great tune for
BL>this sort of thing!

You could always try "Nine Miles from Gungadai", or "The Wild Colonial
Boy".

I thought they picked some patriotic song for their national anthem?

--- FMail 0.90
From: Shadow.Spear@f236.n271.z1.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Rush Limbaugh
X-Sender: newtout 0.02 Nov 17 1992
Date: 14 Dec 92  11:10:00

<We have witnesses who say Richard Sarner spoke to Shadow Spear
about Rush Limbaugh on 11-27-92  01:10>
 SS-> wouldn't it? Actually I haven't tried to fit it to any music, most of
 SS-> my poems don't fit music.  oh well.
 RS> 
 RS> There's always "greensleeves" and "Gilligan's Isle"... <g>  


	Thanks, but I don't count "Greensleeves" when I am looking for a tune,
because EVERYTHING can be sung to it.
	I must admit, I never thought of "Gilligan's Island", though it seems
to be the same type of tune, as "Greensleeves".  ;)

Shadow Spear



... I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!
--- FMail 0.90
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk,dc.general
From: electro@access.digex.com (Gary Ehrlich)
Subject: It's Snow Joke!!
Summary: Don't Drive and Instafilk!
Keywords: new song, snow, driving, DC, incompetence
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 02:06:42 GMT


Well, spent two precious hours of my life yesterday (thurs.) stuck
on I-95 South between Columbia and DC, thanks to the *light* snow that
sent the entire Baltimore-Washington area into it's usual winter panic.
(except for me, of course, *I'm* the son of a Brooklynite and a 
Buffalonian, so I can handle snow.  Anyway, while stopped on the snowway,
I did what any self-respecting filker would do.  I went into instafilk
mode.  The following is the result:


                       Winter Traffic Jam
               (Tune: "Winter Wonderland", trad.)
               Lyrics: Gary Ehrlich [ (c) 12/92 ]

Out the window I see the white stuff
And I know driving's gonna be rough
I should be at work
But I'm stuck here with these jerks
Crawling through a winter traffic jam

Oh the snow is coming down now
And the bridges all are iced now
And I can't help but grin
As drivers curse, skid, and spin
Crawling through a winter traffic jam

Maryland's a pretty state to drive through
Except on days when it begins to snow
Then all the local drivers start to panic
And I start to wish I lived in Buffalo

Front wheel drive puts me at ease now
I've got a car that's Japanese now
And with four wheel drive
I'm sure to make it alive
Crawling through a winter traffic jam

Finally make it down to work
And the office is still all dark
But I can play on the net
'Cause noone else is here yet
They're crawling through a winter traffic jam

I will still get my 40 hours
The firm will pay me lots and lots of dough
Then I'll take a week off and fly south
Somewhere warm and far away from all this snow

Now I've driven to my girlfriend's
And I'm praying we get snowed in
We'll make a fire and tea
And curl up, glad as can be
We're not crawling through a winter traffic jam


-- 
     ELECTRO   | Gary J. Ehrlich           | "Real filkers don't document;
    E_____     |                           |  if it was hard to write it   
   E           | electro@access.digex.com  |  should be hard to scan" 
  ELECTRO      | G. EHRLICH on GEnie       |