From: shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
Subject: Re: <None>
Date: 14 Sep 92 19:56:00 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)

In article <1992Sep14.115355.14319@doug.cae.wisc.edu> kolstad@cae.wisc.edu (Joel Kolstad) writes:
>In article <1992Sep14.061325.1@happy.colorado.edu> ajmorrison@happy.colorado.edu writes:
[reformatted to fit]
>>
>>Well, I just thought I'd jump in here. Something that my current 
>>boyfriend says that annoys the hell out of me... "Amy, I like you 
>>for who you are and not what you look like... but have you ever 
>>looked into Weight Watchers?"  Well, he quit mentioning it after 
>>I told him he could accept me the way I am or get the hell out of 
>>my life. My two cents...
>
>I agree with you that it sounds like your boyfriend is acting like a jerk,
>but you might want to consider that just maybe he is concerned about some of
>the nasty physical problems that go along with being overweight and really
>not concerned about your physical appearance...
>
If he's concerned about physical problems, why is he suggesting 
Weight Watchers? Mea culpa to those out there who love Weight
Watchers, but honestly, of the people I've known on Weight Watchers,
none, repeat, none of them have kept the weight off when they left
the program.

I know one man who is going to the gym 3 or 4 days a week, eats no
breakfast, has a very very small salad for lunch, and eats spartan
dinners most days (his *splurge* for the week is to actually go and
eat sushi.  Plain fish and rice, and that's his SPLURGE!) and still
has trouble keeping the weight off.  He was on Weight Watchers, got
down to his ideal weight, then went off for a few months.  Last I
knew, he was back on, and I believe he was planning to be on for the
rest of his life.

What has Weight Watchers done to his metabolism that he has to eat
so sparingly?

I also find your comment about "nasty physical problems that go along
with being overweight" a little presumptuous.  Tell that to my friend
who has been overweight for most of her life, and gets very very ill
if she tries to get down to a "normal" weight.  Her doctor put her on
a diet based on the assumption that she "should" be thin, and she got
thin, all right, and was sick about 50% of the time.  

Normal weight varies from person to person.  For at least two friends
of mine, being about 80 pounds over the weight charts is normal and
healthy.  For me, it is not.  I was thin most of my life, and being
heavy is hard on me, because it is not normal for me.

If the original poster's boyfriend were able to pressure her into 
joining a weight-loss program, and get her to be thin, would he really
be doing her a favor?  What if she's one of those folks for whom being
"overweight" is actually normal and healthy?  Is he going to be happy
having a girlfriend who is thin, but is sick all the time?  How would
she feel about it?

Personally, I think my husband's attitude is the best.  He finds that
he loves people for who they are, and if they are large, he loves them
as their large selves.  What's important to him is how they interact,
the fun times they have, the basics of their personalities.  He doesn't
hassle me about my weight.  He cares about my *health*, and when there's
a problem, he tries to help me fix it.  If it meant that I needed to
remain 80 pounds overweight for the rest of my life, I honestly think
it wouldn't faze him.
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