From: jakhan@iastate.edu (Javed Ahmed Khan)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.islam
Subject: RE: Why Muslis are allowed to keep up to four wives at a time
Date: 21 Nov 92 22:36:57 GMT
Reply-To: jakhan@iastate.edu (Javed Ahmed Khan)
Organization: Iowa State University
Apparently-To: soc-religion-islam@beaver.cs.washington.edu
Status: OR

In article <722382740@flounder.cs.duke.edu>, P5SY%UNB.CA@UNBMVS1.csd.unb.ca
(P5SY000) writes:
" [Moderator's note: This subject has been discussed on SRI with varying
" amount of zeal at different time. Please keep your responses scholarly
" and polite]
" 
" Polygamy
" 
" Polygamy is another safety valve which operates when necessity warrants.
" According to the Islamic concept, it is meant to be a precautionary measure
                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
" against lust.
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^




Is this reason given in the Quran or has it been concocted by scholars to
justify its validity ?

And why is it assumed that women are incapable of lust?




" In fact, this subject should have been dealt with under the chapter
" concerning "Peace in Society" as it is more pertinent to the society though
it
" has much to do with "Peace at Home". The individual, the household, the
" society and all of mankind are inter-linked and interdependent according to
" the Islamic concept.
" There is a lot of misinformation about polygamy in Islam. People often
" contend that polygamy can be a menace to the soundness of the society. And
" how much control does polygamy, as authorized in Islam, require to
" prevent its abuse?
" Obviously, all aspects of social behavior require legislative intervention to
" prevent abuse of rights, except tor polygamy as it is a social institution
" which automatically regulates itself. It is a practice that does not exist
unles
" there is a necessity tor it.
" Polygamy should be treated objectively. I cannot understand why
" polygamy has been so avidly criticized in the public media unless one
" construes such unfounded criticism as an attempt to undermine the validity
" of this religion.  One must view polygamy as a valid and time honored social
" institution.
" 
" Communities are composed of males and females. If the number of men,
" who are fit and seeking marriage, is equal to the number of similarly fit and
" willing women, then polygamy becomes practically impossible; for in this
" case every man will not find but one available woman to marry. To have an
" extra wife would mean that there is an extra female who has not got a man
" to marry. This argument is valid whether the number of marriageable
" women exceeds that of marriageable men or when the number of
" marriageable women exceeds that of men who can afford to marry.
" 


Really ? Why have you assumed that more than one women will not want to
marry the same man under Islamic laws of polygamy, irrespective of the fact
that there are other eligible males? Again what happens when males outnumber
females?



" If the number of females seeking marriage exceeds that of the males, a
" distortion results in the structure of the society and polygamy becomes
" justified. The distortion occurs quite frequently where men are more
" exposed to danger than women, as in case of wars. It may happen for
" economic or social reasons as well whereby men are materially unable to get
" married.
" Let us, for example, examine the demographic problem which arose in
" Germany after the Second World War. There was one marriageable man
" (between 20 and 45) available for every three women of the same age
" group. How would the legislator solve this problem, taking into account the
" interests of men, women and society at the same time?
" There are three alternatives:
" 1. Either each man gets married to one woman only, leaving the other
" two women without men, children and homes all their lives, or
" 2. Each man gets married to one woman only, but frequents the other two
" who would not enjoy a family life nor bear children. Even if they responded
" to their feminine instinct and bore children, they would be committing a
" crime as the children would be illegitimate. Mother and child would suffer
" the stigma of immorality and illegitimacy and live under social ostracism.
" 3. Or, some men would get married to more than one woman; thus
" allowing them the dignity of marriage, the security of the family and the
" begetting of children without the taint of crime or the anxiety of sin.
" Polygamy under such circumstances would spare the society the problems of
" bastardy and the sexual offence of adultery. Society would also ha-e the
" chance to correct the imbalance through the new births and thus restore the
" balance as has been observed in periods following wars and epidemics.
" Which of' these alternatives is more useful and beneficial to humanity?
" These are the only alternatives and we have to choose one from among
" them. The problem is to respond to this condition and find a practical
" solution. It seems that in West Germany, where polygamy is prohibited
" socially and religiously, people have sought an appropriate solution to this
" problem and could not find anything better than the Islamic solution, though
" they could not adopt it. It was the women there who asked for polygamy
" and, strangely enough, not the men.



If one were to agree with this reasoning, a legitimate demand could be made
to ban polygamy in peace times when the ratio of male to females is more
acceptable to justify monogamy. 
 


" 
" It may be said that women today can work and earn their living and thus do
" not need men. This is belied by human nature. Women do need men as much as
" men need women. A woman's need is not strictly confined to the need for
" support nor to sexual desireQthough this desire cannot be replaced by
material
" well-being. In the depth of every woman's heart there is a yearning for a
man.
" It is the human need for fulfillment and propagation. Man's need for a woman
" is the same, and it is this natural mutual need which constitutes the
foundation
" of "marriage" among all bisexual beings. This simple fact refutes the myth
" propounded by the materialists who allege that a woman's feeling to have a
" man is due to her desire for support.The man, generally speaking, is not
" economically dependent on the woman, yet he enjoys his accomplishments the
" most when he is beside the woman he loves. Once he chooses his "second half",
" he feels fulfilled. It is the Supreme Will that put this need in the hearts of
b
" sexes in order to procreate life and to urge them towards constructive
" development.


Agreed. There is also the fact that men and women (particularly women) prefer to
maintain a monogamous marraige which you are ignoring and is not taken into
account by the Quran when it legalises polygamy.



" Thus, as long as there are such circumstances that cause imbalance in the
" numbers of the sexes the most noble and effective remedy is to legislate in
such
" a manner that the imbalance is corrected and social proprieties are not
" offended.
" One should ask those who do not heed the simple facts of life if they have
" ever come across a young man who could not find a girl to marry because a
" greedy or lustful or rich man has married that one wife. There are certainly
" some cases where polygamy is the result of desire or sudden wealth or carnal
" lewdness and nothing else. But let me ask if the polygamist has usurped a
" woman from another man or has he from another man or has he found an
" unmarried woman and married her.
" It may be argued that there are economic and social conditions that favor
" some men with better opportunities to procure more than one woman while
" depriving others of their chances. In other words, it may be argued that the
" existence of unmarried women does not necessarily mean an increase in the
" number of females over males, but it may mean that social and economic
" conditions ha-e forced some men and ~ omen to remain single.
" This may be true, and in such circumstances the remedy should be applied to
" social and economic injustices and not to restricting the right of marriage
as
" such restriction would not solve the problem.
" Had Islam been applied, there would have been no social injustices or
" economic discrepancies. By its very nature, it achieves harmony and
" equilibrium in all social sectors, giving ample guarantees for justice to
every
" individual. One of these guarantees is that the wife can reserve the right, in
t
" marriage contract, to prevent her husband from acquiring wives besides
" herself and divorce may be granted her if her condition is not met.
" 
" Islam treats the problem as a whole and not just parts of it. Partial
" solutions are not permanent solutions. In this respect, Islam takes into
" consideration the appetites of some men who cannot be satisfied with one
" wife and will always be inclined to marry another. If such men cannot
" satisfy their desires within the bounds of a monogamous marriage, they may
" resort to some sort of illegal means to satisfy their desires.


Thats absurd. Why doesn't the same yardstick apply to women? I can understand
your view though. In Islamic societies, men are "more equal" than women on
account of the fact that the Quran makes them the leader of the household
and women are expected to be subservient to commands from husbands/males.




" The resulting immorality would upset society, the wife, and her married
" life. Doubts and suspicions would torture her leaving her unable to live
" securely or peacefully.


You dont answer the basic issue here. The wife will be unhappy if she realizes
that the husband is having sex with other women, in effect abusing the sacred
institution of marraige. "Suspicion and torture" are effects of the knowledge.

Instead of solving the basic problem, polygamy only legitimizes the act and
compounds the problem.
 

Why is it assumed that people in general will not regard polygamy in the same
light as prostitution.



" Would it not be better to allow for such unusual appetites by permitting
" an honorable marriage instead of letting men commit sins in secrecy and
" spread lewdness among their fellowmen? In Europe, for instance, polygamy



As I read your article, its becoming pretty clear that polygamy is being
proposed  only to solve the problems of males. The same token is not applied 
to women, which is not very surprising.

  


" is forbidden, but it is an established fact that many men have mistresses.
" Islam could have restrained such natural desires by means of punishment
" so as to force every man to limit himself to one woman. This course of
" action would have been anomalous to the principle of numerical balance
" between the sexes, a principle which society must consider. One may argue
" that if the question is to be decided by the natural process of numerical
" equilibrium, why then has Islam limited the number of legitimate wives?
" This is a delicate question as Islam considers polygamy a necessity which is
" justified by society's need for it. To fulfill this need would hardly require
" more than four wives as it is highly improbable that to correct an imbalance
" in the sexes would require that each male marry more than four. Besides,
" limiting the number of wives implies that license is given for certain
" extraordinary circumstances and is not to be considered a pattern for
" behavior under normal circumstances. Even so, this licence is subject to the
" condition of justice to all wives. God says:
" "But if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with your wives),
" then (confine yourselves to) one only." (Q. IV. 3)
" Justice here relates to the fair and equal provision of sustenance, housing,
" clothing and affection. Yet absolute fairness cannot be expected in the
" domain of love and compassion which is often beyond human control. The
" husband is required not to show his preference to one before the others. God
" says:
" "You are never able to be fair and just between women, even if it is your
" ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether so as to leave
" her (as if it were) hanging (in the air) . . . " (Q. IV. 129)



Isn't there a contradiction in the verses?



" It is wrong to judge polygamy from one point of view. It is generally
" condemned because the first wife would suffer emotionally. Yet, this same
wife
" would not make the same judgment if she put herself in the place of the
" unmarried woman, as she would prefer marriage to an adulterous
" relationship. There are also other considerations which should be taken into
" account when polygamy is seriously discussed. There are cases of ailing wives
" whose husbands are willing to keep them despite their inability to look after
" their households. There are also cases of the sterile wives of whom the
husbands
" are very fond etc.
" By allowing polygamy, Islam aims at establishing peace by allowing for
" different circumstances arising in life. It strikes a balance between the
variou
" inevitable shortcomings and injustices by opting for the most logical
solution
" and the enormous amount of' discussion and criticism has yet to offer a
better
" one.



This article and  numerous discussions that I've had with many muslims (males
and females) have given me an impression that, at the very least, Islamic
culture is very male centered and treats women only in the context of male
superiority.

--Javed.