From: tyadav@athena.mit.edu (Tapesh Yadav)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian
Subject: Re: Friendships
Date: 9 Sep 92 19:32:42 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology

===============================

 To the questions:
>>  Do you mean words/decisions 'about friends' are final? 
>>  I fail to understand you. Why should it be final?
>>  And what do you mean when you  say "final."
>>  Please elaborate. Perhaps, with an example.

 alok@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (alok.vijayvargia) replied:
>
>What I mean is that when a youngster under 18 is seeing some people
>who the parents think are not good influence for him/her, then that youngster
>should stop seeing these people. (Parents decision is Final).
 
 alok@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (alok.vijayvargia) then cross examines:
>No these are not assumptions. Do you think a kid at the age of 12 knows
>what is right and what is wrong about everything ?
>Do you think a parent should wait to tell a kid who eats too much
>candies, to stop eating them, until his/her teeth have several cavities ?
>Do you think a parent should wait to tell the kid who is six not to
>cross that busy road on his/her own, until the kid is hit by a car !
>Do you think a parent should not tell a kid to watch off the drug-sellers
>at the school ? Do you think a parent should not tell a kid to 
>not touch that bottle of harmful toxic liquid in the house ...

 Aren't we loosing the context here?

 Exploring potential friends - the topic of debate here - is different
 from eating too much candies and crossing busy roads and touching toxic
 liquid and....
 This is different because exploring people is like exploring nature, not
 toxic liquids. Toxic liquid can kill instantly; Nature and people can
 frustrate and sicken you, at most. But that is life. 
 You don't always get what you want.

 To digress, if the kid is eating too much candy, check with the doctor
 first (don't TELL him to stop); and stop buying candies. Keep the toxic
 liquid out of reach or may be destroy the toxic liquid; keep your six
 year old within your reach. These things don't need to be argued with 
 the kid. One takes action - Just do it.

 Lets get back to friendships. 


> [arguments about drugs, molestation, porn... deleted]
> [perhaps, we should have another thread debating these]

>Yes, try being a parent for that girl who is going out on that late night
>'date' with that drug dealing, alcohol addicted 'son of a bitch', who is
>looking for some casual sex ...
>
>Tell us what would you do ?
>Sorry I have to be sarcastic and extreme in trying to give the message.

 This hypothetical girl "dating drug dealing, alc addicted s.o.b." has
 much more serious personality and psychological problems than that date.
 Dating and sex (casual or intense) are voluntary acts. And, there are
 reasons to what attracts whom. Find the cause; something more fundamental 
 is going on in the mind of that hypothetical girl. Find those roots. Talk.
 Is the girl finding happiness in such a date, or is she running away from the
 misery named "parents." I don't know. But, I think, individuals have free
 will. Individuals make choices. And individuals have conscious or
 subconscious reasons/values for their choices. Explore there.

 Should we change the topic of this thread?

T.Y.
----
tyadav@athena.mit.edu
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian