HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: warton@ssd.intel.com (Peter Warton)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: I am finally posting!!!:)
Date: 3 Oct 92 00:14:04 GMT
Organization: Supercomputer Systems Division, Intel Corp.

In article <1992Oct2.090554.19717@yang.earlham.edu> jennifer@yang.earlham.edu writes:
>O my gost, I am really posting. I refuse to use the anon, because I am 
>tired of pretending.  I am a survivor.  I have been reading this newsgroup 
>silently for almost a year.  I want to thank you all for being there.  All 
>the stuff you write about and talk about has been really helpful to me.  
>If it weren't for this group,  I wouldn't have the strength to post to 
>this group.  Thank you.
>And e-hugs, what a wonderful idea!! How many times have I taken you up on 
>them? E hugs to all of you who have been sending them into my silence all 
>this time.
>Jen
>JENNIFER@YANG.EARLHAM.EDU
>Anybody with replies can send them to me personally if they want, or 
>whatever.  I still don't know that much about e mail and newsgroups and 
>posting and stuff.


I hope that posting will be as comforting for you as it has been for me.
I too read without posting for a long time, and it felt great when I got
the courage up to post.  Welcome, and ehugs for you :-)

-- 
_____________________________________________________________________________
Peter Warton  (the h was dropped    | Against my better judgement (not to
over 800 years ago) 		    | mention the advice of my friends) I
warton@ssd.intel.com		    | speak for myself.
From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: first post
Date: 2 Oct 92 08:28:25 GMT
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

In article <BvE4qJ.2v6.2@cs.cmu.edu>, anonymus+845@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
writes:

>this is my first post to this group.
>I have been reading it for awhile.  I apprectiate
>it being here.

You're nowhere NEAR alone!  :)

>I am just now coming to terms with an abuse that
>happened when I was 6yr-9ys.  I am now almost
>45, suddenly divorced, kids all grown- an empty
>house- I guess that is why all of a sudden these
>things are really getting to me- I was married
>for 22 yrs-  It is very hard just to "take care
>of myself"

Ouch!

>Does anyone else have the problem with relationships
>that I have:   I tend to be very trusting when someone
>starts dating me and after a few dates when sexual 
>relationships start-  I assume that the person must
>care about me and really like me (that's how I justify
>sex- so I won't have to think of it as anything but
>nice) when I find that the man doesn't really seem to
>care all that much (for instance - he is also dating
>and having sex with someone else)  I get very hurt-
>hate myself- think that something is wrong with me
>or the relationship would have worked.

I'm REAL familiar with this problem.  It's part of what I'm trying to cope with
now.  I'll date someone and then find out that they're not really interested in
the emotional part of the relationship, just the physical...

>I would like your opinions- but please no flames-
>I just don't have the energy or the self-esteem
>right now to cope with rejection  :-) sorry!

First, there is no reason for ANYONE to flame you!  This is why we are all
here, to comfort each other, and to be comforted...

Just because the bozo (I'm using "bozo" as opposed to "him" or "her"
intentionally, since I have this problem w/ women, and there is no need to
seperate any 1 sex...) is an asshole regarding sex, doesn't mean that anything
is wrong regarding you.  Or that the relationship could have worked if...  It's
a two-way street, and the bozo needs to do some work too...

+--------------------------------------------------+-------------------------+
|Krikket              | krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us | USnail: 3 Danada Sq. E. !
|a.k.a Doug Krick     |NOTICE: Your Milage May Vary|   Suite 246             !
|Data # 708/665-9732  | #include<std.disclaimers>  |   Wheaton, Il 60187     !
+--------------------------------------------------+-------------------------+
|                What God wants, God gets, God help us all!                  |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: anon-1269@twwells.com (Ransom)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Introduction.
Date: 5 Oct 92 16:12:53 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
X-Email-Accepted: yes

ANON-Mail: yes
ANON-Announce: yes
ANON-Name: Ransom

Hello all,
      I am not a survivor. I am however not the best person at
dealing with my own, or anybody else's problems.

I am writing this because I have a very good friend (platonic)
who is a survivor. We have been friends for about two years and
about a year ago she told me about what happened. I have no knowlage
of the details of her trauma, but I do know that it has screwed
her up badly.

I would appreciate advice either emailed or posted as to how to
be the best friend to her I can. Unfortunatly (from the point of
being a friend) I am male, and she is afraid of all males uniformly.
Can anyone tell me how I can become more trustworthy and help put
her at ease.

I am remaining anonymous purely to protect her. I have no care for
keeping my own identity secret, but as she does not know I am writing
this I cannot risk revealing her identity even indirectly.

I hope this works okay.

Ransom.



--
To use this service, send EMAIL to:
anon-ping@twwells.com  -- test path/get anonymous id
anon-help@twwells.com  -- for an automatically returned help message
anon-admin@twwells.com -- ANON administrator
anon-0@twwells.com     -- anonymous e-mail to ANON administrator
anon-asar@twwells.com  -- post anonymously to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: rbn@sunvis.rtpnc.epa.gov (Bob Boyd)
Subject: Re: ANGRY at my parents *** SPOILER ***
Organization: UNISYS/Environmental Protection Agency
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 17:16:43 GMT

Goldberry,

Great piece of work!!!
--
----

Bob Boyd
In The Here & Now
From: anonymus+845@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: ls testing
Date: 29 Sep 92 17:58:08 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service

ok, one more test- boy what a computer genius!
hope this works

thanks to the people who wrote me- I appreciate your
support
--
To use this service, send mail to (note misspelling, "anonymus"):
Anonymous posting:	anonymus+<name.of.news.group>@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Anonymous mail:		<user's alias>@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Test path/get alias:	anonymus+ping@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Assign nickname:	anonymus+nick@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu	(in Subject:)
Anon administrator:	anonymus+0@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu	(anonymously)
			anonymus+admin@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu	(non-anon)
From: aberson@enh.nist.gov
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: RE: mpd
Date: 30 Sep 92 22:19:50 GMT
Organization: NIST

In a previous article, erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) wrote:
>Uh, "cult abuse"?  I wasn't aware that this was at all the case - the stats
>I've seen say that "cult abuse" and such are very rare, except in the minds
>of those who either have an axe to grind or have something to gain from running
>around screaming "The Satanists are everywhere!"

While I don't think it is very common, there are enough people here in asar
with such experiences to make me believe it does happen.  Perhaps your
axe has gotten a little too sharp lately?

       Sim Aberson   Ft. Lauderdale, FL   aberson%3328.span@sdsc.edu
"It's always Beach Party Barbie, or Malibu Barbie....  That shit does not
prepare you for the true horror of a real woman's life.  Where is Single,
Abused, Trailer-Park Barbie?"             - Roseanne Arnold
From: sfjr@wam.umd.edu (Sherri)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: hello
Date: 29 Sep 92 22:12:40 GMT
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park

In article <BvCIHw.8GE@twwells.com> anon-1259@twwells.com writes:
>Hi 

Hello and welcome.

>This is my first posting.
>Any MPD's out there???  Survivors of cult/ritualistic abuse??
>Is this the appropriate place to discuss it?

Yes, at least three of us currently posting are MPD, and there are others
who haven't posted in awhile yet may still be reading.

Yes to the second question as well.

This is an appropriate place to discuss it, but many of us request that
you
put some sort of warning in the subject line or at the beginning of your
message (or both).  Something like--***discussion of cult abuse in specific
terms***.

People who read asar do so in a variety of moods and settings, and it's good
if subject lines can be used well to alert people that the contents of
your post may contain material that could trigger strong feelings or flashbacks
for a lot of people.  This is what the **spoiler** warnings are for (I just
hate that word, so I recommed differently :).

Once again, welcome...All of us here are glad that all of you are here, too.

Sherri
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: mpd
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:49:30 GMT

Suki (blaze@westmark.Stanford.EDU) wrote:

: In article <1992Sep30.213456.24153@unislc.uucp> erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp) writes:
: >Uh, "cult abuse"?  I wasn't aware that this was at all the case - the stats
: >I've seen say that "cult abuse" and such are very rare, except in the minds
: >of those who either have an axe to grind or have something to gain from running
: >around screaming "The Satanists are everywhere!"
: 
: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH!!!!!!  Sorry, I just had to get that off of
: my chest.  
: 
: 	I'm trying to figure out how to say this without going into serious
: rage here.  You just pushed a button.  ANYONE WHO CLAIMS TO HAVE BEEN 
: SEXUALLY ABUSED SHOULD BE BELIEVED!!!! Excuse my yelling, but statements
: like "except in the minds..." piss me off, because they further disbelief,
: and HURT those who have heard that the abuse was not real.  

<sigh> Here we go again... OK, DIPSHITS, LISTEN UP!  STOP FUCKING YELLING AT
ME AND RE-READ WHAT I POSTED!  Goddamnit, I'm getting real fucking tired of
watching myself and others get their shit jumped because *you* go off half-
cocked and get a button pushed and think it's OK to flame away.  Well, it's
time for *me* to flame!

Re-read what I posted.  Did I say that any survivors were making anything up?
Nope.  Did I *imply* that survivors were making anything up?  Nope.  There
*are* people out there that are exploiting "cult abuse" - like there are folks
behind every tree and rock just waiting to ritually abuse you and your kids
in some sort of horrible satanic rite.    Sorry, folks, but it just ain't so.
Sure, "cult abuse" exists, but it's much rarer than some would have you believe.
As for "well, hey, I know a cult abuse survivor", I submit to you that given
the large readership of asar, you *will* find several folks that have been
abused by a "cult".

You know, if you really want an education as to how the media is blowing this
whole thing right out of proportion, you ought to wander over to alt.pagan
sometime.  Get educated.  Look up the stats.  Talk to the *real* experts in
the field, the ones who have done years of study and research in the field.

Get your facts straight before you want to jump on the "holy asar bandwagon"
of "someone thinks someone implied something - let's go get 'em!".  That shit is
for little kids.
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG     erc@apple.com                801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
From: bill@twwells.com (T. William Wells)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: test/question
Date: 2 Oct 92 15:47:42 GMT
Organization: None, Mt. Laurel, NJ

In article <BvHz6v.8po@twwells.com> anon-1252@twwells.com writes:
: If I am reading a.s.a.r. in nn, and I see an article I want to reply to,
: and I hit "f" or "r", will my reply be anonymous or not?  From what it
: looks like, I would say not.  It seems the only way to post, follow-up,
: or reply anonymously is by mailing to anon-asar (or anon-#### for a
: private reply).  Is this correct?   Thanks in advance.

If you enter 'f' to follow up, your followup will _not_ be
anonymous. It will be posted directly to the newsgroup. This is
true for pretty much every system, though the specific command to
follow up may be different. The only way to do anonymous posting
through twwells.com is to send e-mail to anon-asar@twwells.com.

(Actually, if your system is one where *all* posts to a.s.a.r.
are to be made anonymously, there is a way to make this happen
automatically, provided someone with system administration
privileges cooperates. If this is of interest, drop me a note and
I'll explain how.)

If you enter 'r' to reply, your reply _will_ be anonymous. It
will be sent to the anon-#### address on the From: header line.
Again, this applies to all systems, provided that they have some
kind of reply command, and, again, the specific command may be
different.

(BTW, on many systems, you can post anonymously by replying,
using the r command or whatever, and then telling the system that
instead of sending the reply to whoever posted the message, you
want the reply to go to anon-asar@twwells.com. The specific way
of doing this varies from mailer to mailer but should be
documented somewhere fairly easy to find. If you don't have that
information, send me e-mail and describe your system and I'll see
if I know or can find out.)

---
Bill                            { rutgers | decwrl | telesci }!twwells!bill
bill@twwells.com
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: enigma@netcom.com (Enigma)
Subject: Re: posting and flames
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 23:57:20 GMT

In article <9210012138.AA12138@saturn.upl.com> anonasar@khijol.UUCP writes:
>X-ANON-Version: 0.5
>
>Due to all the flames for innocuous comments posted by Ed Carp and others, I've
>decided not to post publicly anymore.  I am very disappointed in this group -
>instead of understanding and compassion to obviously hurting people, all I
>have seen are flames, insults, and attempts to hurt others.  It just goes to
>show you that the abused really do turn into the abusers.
>
>To drive the point home, I have seen a LOT of abusive posts in the past few
>months; some attacking, some defending points, but all of them have had the
>unique trait of being personally insulting, harassing, and abusive.  Even our
>late colleague Karla Alwan wasn't above such denigrating behavior.  It's
>insulting, it's degrading, and it's abusive.  Since it hasn't stopped, despite
>pleas by calmer heads, I choose to exercise my right of anonymity and go
>underground for a while.
>
>This is starting to resemble alt.flame.  I've seen more name-calling and
>insults thrown around here that I've seen in alt.flame.  For a bunch that
>is supposed to be sensitive to the feelings of other survivors, you are
>suprisingly insensitive, rude, and immature.  Yeah, I, too, have wanted to hit
>Ed Carp over the head a time or two, but Gavin Flowers' posts lately have made
>me want to put my fist in his mouth.  And he isn't the only one.


But don't you see that your post is just more of the same?  You're doing
*exactly* same thing that you're accusing others of.  Maybe they felt the
same way you feel?

Most of us are starting from scratch at learning how to get along with
others.  We're going to make mistakes, and hurt each other.  That's just
how it is.  But the people here are doing the best they can, and as time
passes, I see everyone doing better.  Anyway, I hope you stick around,
even anonymously.  

Holly
-- 
Holly McGrath   <enigma@netcom.com> 
1803 Mission Street, #339          
Santa Cruz, CA 95060              
(408) 479-4072  (voice mail)
From: blaze@westmark.Stanford.EDU (Suki)
Subject: Re: Important ACS update (godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu)
Organization: Stanford University
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 03:18:52 GMT

	Ja Val, Mein Heir...

	Jeez Karl!  I realize that you are running a _service_, and 
that you are doing this out of the generosity of your soul...but
you're sure being a dictator about it....

	I know, I know, it's your right...it's your software...but
I don't think it's entirely up to you to extinguish all of the big,
bad testers in the world.  Generally, other people in the net will
do that for you...but either flaming the tester privately, or
poking fun at them.

	It's like you're assuming that everyone who posts a test 
post is doing it just to spite you, or be annoying.  The reality is,
people are paranoid. There are a lot of people out there who feel
like they have a huge amount to lose should a post accidnetally
slip through and out them.  And until they see it in post, they don't
believe it works.  

In article <Bvo5rB.69H.2@cs.cmu.edu> Karl_Kleinpaste@cs.cmu.edu writes:
>In response to the observed TestPost:RealPost ratio which has been
>close to 30% lately, as well as to the pleas from people inhabiting
>the supported-for-anon-posting groups...

	That is because this is a new service, and people don't trust
it yet...no matter how safe it is.  It's the paranoia again...not you...

>| PLEASE NOTE #2: The ACS Fire Extinguisher has been created.  Users who
>| are observed to post test messages via this ACS will find themselves
>| *plonk*ed.  What does it mean to be *plonk*ed, you ask?  From the
>| jargon file...

	Not real forgiving are you?  Not saying that they will get a
warning, nor a probation of any sort...just into the kill with them.
HMMMPH.
 
>Please note that, as a practical matter, there will be a great deal of
>difference between the likelihood of extinguishment in, e.g.,
>alt.sexual.abuse.recovery (quite low) -vs- alt.sex.bondage (very high,
>probably no forgiveness at all).  I hope the reason is obvious, that
>people in a.s.b are (in general) there for fun, while those in a.s.a.r
>are in some cases trying to stay alive (no exaggeration).

	Oh good, so everyone can direct their tests to ASAR, since
they will assume they are safer there.  Uh huh.  Right.

	Karl, you are technical.  So you know that when you test
something like the anon. post and get your alias it works.  Well, 
reality is tha not everyone is that technical, and even those that
are can be paranoid.  

	If this is the way you are going to run the service, well,
it's your service.  Personally...well, I think you're being a 
little harsh.

		-Suki

-- 
	>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Suki<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
		    blaze@westmark.stanford.edu  or
		 anonymus+284@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: mcmorris@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (brandywine)
Subject: Re: I think it's progress
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 04:35:35 GMT

dear susan and all my ASAR friends

yes, you should tell what you think you can handle telling... until
we, as a nation, as a people and as a culture can say the words,
"sexual abuse" without flinching from pruidity (is that a word) we are
NEVER going to be able to solve the societal problems we have that
tend to CONDONE the behavior of the perps.

I use the same theory about words like condom and AIDS... we have to
talk about them before we can address the issues...

remember this, 30 years ago, you couldn't say pregnant or virgin or
mentally disabled... we have come a long way baby, and we have a long
was ot travel.... let's work on it.... because that is the only way it
will change....

ehugs to all who can take them.....
-brandywine

Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: sdunbar@julian.uwo.ca (Susan N. Dunbar)
Subject: Re: I can't post about me but....
Organization: University of Western Ontario, London
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 22:01:04 GMT

In article <BvGzJ3.318@twwells.com> anon-1016@twwells.com (Prisoner) writes:

>I can't post about me but I can post about the latest verbal
>violence. Maybe if I post on things relatively neutral I'll get
>back to my own stuff....

and pray tell why can you not post about your own stuff ... you can be
anonymous as you have so often told us?  I am confused by your
comments!

>
>Anyone who has been here for anything over six months is probably
>aware that the quality of communications on asar has been
>gradually degrading and that the periods of calm and support have
>become less the norm.

each to his own perception here I do believe ... I have found a great
deal to support me and to help me realize how safe a place this really
is ...yes even the flames are comforting ... they show me that others
loose their tempers ... have their buttons pushed ... by different
things as well as I do.
>
>
>Here are four things to do when posting if you really want to help
>things improve. (There are more but these are the ones that come
>to mind right now.)
>
I  find your including a list of do's and don't to be just the sort of
messages that none of us who are trying to heal really need to have
thrown at us in the manner that was used ...

More than anything else I need to know, in a safe environment, what
others percieve my words to mean ... I used the words in the manner
and with the force that I did or do with every conscious faculty of
mine going for me ... If it hurts let me know ... don't bottle it up
but throw it at me PLEASE ...

>
>Well, I have more to say, but I'll see if this stirs up some
>thoughtfulness....

I do so hope that you are thinking as well ... IMHO ... who gave you
the last word?  ~B-)

>
>Prisoner
>
So why do you consider yourself a prisoner ... does not everyone who
has been reading this newsgroup for the last few months know who you
are?

Also why do you post annonymously?  This does confuse me !

I know that many do post annonymously, as I have and still do at
times, but could you let me know what your personal reasons are for
posting annonymously?

My hurting head and heart is honestly trying to understand ... please
help me to understand !!!

e-hugs to all who wish them and a smile to all who need it ~B-)


Susan
-- 

Susan N. Dunbar,
London, Ontario, CANADA

Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anonasar@khijol.UUCP
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: posting and flames
Date: 1 Oct 92 21:38:04 GMT

X-ANON-Version: 0.5

Due to all the flames for innocuous comments posted by Ed Carp and others, I've
decided not to post publicly anymore.  I am very disappointed in this group -
instead of understanding and compassion to obviously hurting people, all I
have seen are flames, insults, and attempts to hurt others.  It just goes to
show you that the abused really do turn into the abusers.

To drive the point home, I have seen a LOT of abusive posts in the past few
months; some attacking, some defending points, but all of them have had the
unique trait of being personally insulting, harassing, and abusive.  Even our
late colleague Karla Alwan wasn't above such denigrating behavior.  It's
insulting, it's degrading, and it's abusive.  Since it hasn't stopped, despite
pleas by calmer heads, I choose to exercise my right of anonymity and go
underground for a while.

This is starting to resemble alt.flame.  I've seen more name-calling and
insults thrown around here that I've seen in alt.flame.  For a bunch that
is supposed to be sensitive to the feelings of other survivors, you are
suprisingly insensitive, rude, and immature.  Yeah, I, too, have wanted to hit
Ed Carp over the head a time or two, but Gavin Flowers' posts lately have made
me want to put my fist in his mouth.  And he isn't the only one.

Instead of knee-jerk reactions to posts, it would behoove each and every one
of us to stop and take a deep breath before we post.  I've seen too many of
the Suki-type posts of "yeah, let's go beat up on the enemy in our midst".
You can't go after your perp, so you go after each other, like a bunch of
sharks in a damned feeding frenzy.

Some of you honestly disgust me with your lack of humanity and compassion.
--
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