From: garrett@Ingres.COM (It's not what you got, it's what you give)
Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
Summary: 
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 10 Nov 92 04:12:53 GMT

In article <1992Nov4.151015.15305@dsd.es.com>, pmartz@dsd.es.com (Paul Martz)                             writes...
>In article <1992Nov4.092000.15635@iitmax.iit.edu>, granben@elof.iit.edu (Benjamin Granzeau) writes:
>>Here's the post revised:
>>|>>>>>>|> >>>>>>>>Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!
>>|>>>>>>|> >>>>>>>Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....
>>|>>>>>>|> >>>>>>HA! _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex Sinclair! Top THAT!
>>|>>>>>>|> >>>>>I'm running NextStep on Atari 2600 Video Game System. 
>>|>>>>>>|> >>>>Just last night I was able to get Windows to boot on my Sears PONG game.
>>|>>>>>>|> >>>I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer on my Game-Boy.   
>>|>>>>>>|> >>>I just installed a 10 Gigabyte Drive to handle all the replies!  However, it
>>|>>>>>>|> >>>only runs at 230,000 Baud due to the large drive slowing it down.
>>|>>>>>>|> >>I fear I will not be getting news any longer...  The batteries on my  
>>|>>>>>>|> >>calculator-watch are running out.
>>|>>>>>>|> >My calculator-watch is solar...  And if I turned off the lights, NO-ONE would
>>|>>>>>>|> >be getting news...
>>|>>>>>>|> feh. I'm so slick NASA just awarded ME the TERADATA contract to run on my
>>|>>>>>>|> TV remote! They liked my proposal mainly because I'm ALSO able to shoehorn
>>|>>>>>>|> in the TEXAS SUPERCOLLIDER computations between commercials!
>>|>>>>>>|> Beat THAT!
>>|>>>>>>Well, well well. SSC calculations, huh. I built a system out of 2 inches of wire,
>>|>>>>>>3 pennies and a AA battery that does realtime calculations of particle vectors
>>|>>>>>>during the Big Bang. A complete simulation of the first 2 years of the life of
>>|>>>>>>the universe, accuarate to the theoretical limit, takes about 5 seconds.
>>|>>>>>And you guys think you are so great.  I just spent the last half hour getting
>>|>>>>>X11 to run on slide rule.  I am still having problems connecting it to the net
>>|>>>>>around here, but I would welcome any suggestions.
>>|>>>>So what!!! I'm running Xinitrc, TWMRC, Internet, and 27 muds off of a paperclip.
>>|>>>>Not to mention the fact that I am designing a new form of television with 7000
>>|>>>>pixiles based off a piece of tissue paper.  Next!!!
>>|>>>Man, that's baby stuff.  I'm running a particle accelerator utilizing anti-
>>|>>>matter-matter reactions in my doorknob, and calculating everything in the
>>|>>>fourth dimension using a single dip switch and a large glass of water.
>>|>>Yeah, I remember back in elementary when I needed to have water
>>|>>in the glass to make it work too.  Try a little harder, you can
>>|>>do all of this with just mildly humid air.
>>|>Air?  Water?  Glass?  I see you're stuck in the first 100 elements like
>>|>the rest of these jokers.  When you start using real elements, like..say
>>|>...Pentium..let me know..then we can talk. :)
>>>Do you mean that you're still using matter to create your computers? REAL systems
>>>are built purely out of energy. Every time I need to use my energy system, I go
>>>outside, call down a lightning bold from a cloudless sky to charge it up, and I'm
>>>ready to go
>>I'm running this newsgroup on a dead body.  It is easy to use the neural network
>>on it and make responses by my roommate interesting.
> 
>I'm running an Einstein-calibur artificial intelligence off of a piece
>of dog shit and a bloody Kotex pad I found in the gutter.

I guess you would call that a happining piece of shit. :-)

(O.K. so it wasn't that funny)

>   -paul	pmartz@dsd.es.com

Newsgroups: rec.humor