HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: Sarek@world.std.com (Garrett Fitzgerald)
Subject: Re: CaliChat
Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 19:40:31 GMT

In article <vcnm!fl.tyger@netcom.com> tyger@netcom.com (Kitty in the Middle) writes:
>We are still trying to work out a time...it's looking like it will be in Dec.
>sometime unless ex MaineChatters want something out here sooner...:)

I don't think so. :-) If I couldn't afford to go to the MaineChat when
I was going to be in town _anyway_, there's no way I'm going to be
able to afford anything sooner. :-) Still no job--is anyone out there
hiring? :-) 

>   Tyger (Send me your struggling masses, yearning to party...)

Party? Mass? Tyger, I think I want to switch to your church... :-)
--------------------
"I'm sure ye'll blow their minds, Jimmy."

Sarek of Vulcan
a.k.a. Garrett Fitzgerald `:-)
Official Diver of the RFA and 'Chelle's TwinSib

Sarek@world.std.com

Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: jmalone@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Julie Malone)
Subject: Re: Kissin'
Organization: Salter, Inc.
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 19:34:18 GMT

ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-) shares: 


>>and everyone was walking thru congratulating Steven and I....and all the
>>guys were kissing me.  I remember thinking that if it wasn't my wedding
>
>Hey, no problem about all the guys kissing you at the wedding.....as
>long as it's ok that all the ladies get to kiss me too. :)
>
Well, it certainly depends on the kiss, now doesn't it, my Dear?  And perhaps
WHO is doin' the kissin'.  'Corse, I get the prize at the end of the party,
don't I......I get to keep the groom! ;)......so...ok ladies...this is your
last chance to kiss the great Feral Knight/Official Fireside Sex Advisor/
Salty Dog.   Come one, come all.....and bring lots of cash! :)

=========================================================================
 Julie Malone...AKA...		|   "Look into my eyes, you will see
 Grasshopper 			|   What you mean to me
 PR Agent for Blade		|   Search your heart, search your soul
 Member: Romantic Fire Assoc.	|   When you find me there, you'll search
 FUTURE MRS. JULIE SALTER	|   no more....."
 Anyone think I'm getting too   |		Email Welcome
 many titles here?		|	jmalone@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
=========================================================================
From: catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: NCChat and Lady Firebird
Date: 28 Jul 92 23:52:29 GMT
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service

On the subject of Chat stuff, how many people out there are in NC
and are thinking perhaps of setting up an NCChat somewhere in
say, Raleigh or Charlotte?

I'm just curious, and if it seems like there's some interest I'll
see about perhaps working the logistics.

I live near Greenville and I'm going to college halfway between
Asheville and Murphy.

Lady Firebird is a main character in a little known sci-fi book that
I read years ago.  She and I are very alike, down to the very appearance.
I thought the name was cool, and started using "Firebird" as an alias,
but people kept thinking I was talking about the car.  Well, Firebird
was a Lady in terms of aristocracy, so Lady Firebird seemed a nice
distinction.
*I*, however, am well known as being no lady.  Tomboy describes me
better, and Lady Firebird was "a lady in household of princesses"
and not much of a lady either beyond her birth...
She could fly a spaceship and liked to work with her hands.



..Anyone out here read soc.couples?

--Catherine
Lady Firebird
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Clare!!
From: cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Clare West)
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 23:27:41 GMT
Organization: Dept of CompSci, U of Auckland

rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor) writes:
>cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Clare West) writes:
>>I had always wondered what MB (We're talking Michael Bolton here
>>right?) looked like, I didn't realise thats who it was (sorry LisaD).
>
>(I love it when they play right into my hands!)  Well, no, not
>Michael Bolton, actually the MB was for Milton Berle...

I'm bound to be showing my ignorance here but..... WHO?

>Ok, SC, (and I don't mean Santa Claus), coming right up... (actually
>if it looks like Snead (O')Connor, don't be suprised...)~

No not Sinead O'Conner, please, not her.....

clare

-- 
Oh, why didn't I listen when they said "Never do a   |  cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz 
 masters and try to have a life at the same time"?   |  clare west
                 BigSis to Chris, Eric and Kristiina
                    Official Welcomer of the RFA
From: lf@barkley.berkeley.edu (LexicographicalFiend)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Whatsa LexF Like You
Date: 31 Jul 92 08:34:23
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
Distribution: usa
	<3896@blue.cis.pitt.edu.UUCP> <1992Jul31.105935.20414@mixcom.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: barkley.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: kkwwkk@mixcom.com's message of 31 Jul 92 10:59:35 GMT

BDC asks:
>+Lexi(YouNeverWould'veGuessedIWuzCatholic,WouldYa?)Fiend
>Doing in a place like this........

I made a wrong turn off the New Jersey Turnpike and got thorougly lost
before I knew it.  Then I saw this ImpossiblyGoldenGlow on the horizon
and decided to investigate.  The rest, as they say, is history (to be
rewritten after I'm gone, no doubt 8-).

Oh, I'd try to find my way out of ARCland if I could, but there aren't
any AAA offices around these parts, and the gas stations don't have
maps of the OutsideWorld because, as one proprietor sniffed, "We don't
show people how to return to disconsolance, drudgery and desperation.
It's a matter of principle."  Wow...

Lexi(ButI'llBeLeavingIn27DaysAnyways...ForAWhileAtLeast)Fiend
From: HJ46@lafibm.lafayette.edu (Baboo (Holton, Jeffrey))
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: ALERT ALERT!!
Date: 25 Jul 92 07:31:42 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <1992Jul24.182538.22473@noose.ecn.purdue.edu> lisad@dynamo.ecn.purdue.edu (Lisa Dominique) writes:
>In article <24JUL92.09433091.0015@lafibm.lafayette.edu> HJ46@lafibm.lafayette.edu (Baboo (Holton, Jeffrey)) writes:
>>In article <1992Jul23.233531.6433@cs.aukuni.ac.nz> cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Clare West) writes:

[miscellaneous verbiage deleted]

>>Gosh, rejected from the very place I came for a hug...    :(
>
>Jeffrey, come here.   * Big Warm Bewitching Welcome Hugg *
>
>         Welcome to ARC-Land!!
>
>
>Lis, The Good Romantic Witch


Gosh...how embarassing...


Thank you very much.  :)


--Jeffrey
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: jmalone@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Julie Malone)
Subject: Re: The ARCKissingBooth (was Re: Kissin')
Organization: Salter, Inc.
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 13:21:06 GMT

ssalter@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (-=[SLS]=-) shares: 

>
>Second: I think she is hedging her bets...keeping me on the wire...uh,

Plaaaaace your bets!  To the highest bidder!  The man with the most money,
best job, biggest house, nicest cars, biggest diamonds.....

			*NOT*
>
>Juuuuust Joking Julie!

Of course you are.  I got the most perfect man in the world, why would
I trade that......

>
>oooh, three j's and not even trying!
>S.

Must be a good day....


=========================================================================
 Julie Malone...AKA...		|   "Look into my eyes, you will see
 Grasshopper 			|   What you mean to me
 PR Agent for Blade		|   Search your heart, search your soul
 Member: Romantic Fire Assoc.	|   When you find me there, you'll search
 Searching for Love....		|   no more....."
 FUTURE MRS. JULIE SALTER	|		Email Welcome
 There, how that?		|	jmalone@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
=========================================================================
From: kkwwkk@mixcom.com (TA Shaw)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: To BDC on BDC
Date: 31 Jul 92 11:18:25 GMT
Article-I.D.: mixcom.1992Jul31.111825.21065
Organization: Milwaukee Internet Xchange BBS, Milwaukee, WI U.S.A.


GEMR defends herself:
+BDC, I haven't hit MadDog in a long time with *any*thing, never mind a

YEah, but when you did....boy oh boy......it could be heard 
all the way to B & B Paradise.......*grin*

Bruhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa[no choo(ing)]

BDC
-- 
   "Life is a highway, I want to drive it all night long" 
    Tom Cochrane 
    1983 750 Maximum
    kkwwkk@mixcom.com                 shaw@mixcom.com
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude)
Subject: Teachin' Tyger
Organization: None, today. Thank you.
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 16:54:26 GMT

>>And Eagle cackles back...
>>>>Well, I been gettin lessons of the Tyger.....
>>And, finally, Kitty in the Middle (of what?) grabs 2 pennies and tosses...
>Hmmm...well if you are in Australia, they would have to be King George
>pennies.....

I never knew the old guy wore penny loafers? Or was he just referrin'
to his loyal subjects?  :)  (*NO* offense)

>>>And he learns so well! *winks*
>>Lessons learned well usually speaks HIGHLY of the teacher. *smooch*
>Oh yes, my teacher is the bestest!  =)

No wonder when the words "I WANT YOU TO STAY AFTER CLASS, YOUNG MAN!"
are uttered, you get this wierd smile on your face. Would LOVE to
hear about the homework she assigns...

-- 
Puter	puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com	.sig by Generic Labels
(Put obnoxious title here)		(Put phone # here.)
(Put irritating quote here. Please make it as long as possible.)
From: jon@ccl.umist.ac.uk (Jon Wells)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Catherine a sexy name?
Date: 29 Jul 92 14:50:07 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre

In <1992Jul28.234355.27470@samba.oit.unc.edu> catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes:

>but enough of that.  I don't know how the discussion
>of Catherine as a sexy name got started (was it me?
>*hope, hope*) but I can say from experience that Catherine
>is not a sexy name, and all of its nicknames are worse.
>It's just a name that people can get cursed with.

>Besides, no one's ever written a poem or a song about
>Catherine, though all you Amandas, Joannas, Sarahs, and
>such are so lucky...

Well from MY experience, Catherine is a very sexy name. I guess it just
depends on the Catherine in question. Both of the Catherines that I can
immediately think of are 'well horny', and thought of the name conjours
(sp?) up thoughts of these two delightful women (one of whom I am engaged
to, the other I ogle at in the pub as often as possible!!!!). Maybe I'm the
only person in the world who thinks like this - maybe there are other sexy
Catherines out there who make us men think 'RRrrrrrrrrrr!'...

Love 'n' kisses  (girls only, I'm afraid) (no sexist flames, please)...

Jon
jon@ccl.umist.ac.uk
From: lf@barkley.berkeley.edu (LexicographicalFiend)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Lee Groves Exposed!
Date: 31 Jul 92 16:58:44 GMT
	<1992Jul31.181151.5630@news.acns.nwu.edu>
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: barkley.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: velour@casbah.acns.nwu.edu's message of Fri, 31 Jul 1992 18:11:51 GMT

Say 'Chelle...

>Subject: Lee Groves Exposed!

Speaking from a [LF does a QuickCheck at his Crotch] male perspective,
I'd wanna be able to *see* exactly who I'm dropping my towel for.  Of
course, Lee's probably got a whole different set of ideas.  8-)

'Chelle remarks:
>Lee reveals:
>>If she sees this remark she'll kill me, but I didn't go to the
>>boink because I was saving my money for Michelle's first visit.
>>She was *really* pouting about it, too.  --didn't talk to me for
>>quite a while.  Left me with a lecture about being unable to
>>cope with mature women.
>Maturity is subjective.

Eh?  I thought it was the objective.  8-)  [LF's grin fades as 'Chelle
draws out from the KitchenCabinet...]

Oh no, not the CausticClause!!  <SLASH>  YEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWW!!!

>>Just 20 years.....   *tee hee*  :) :)  (Did I really say that?)
>Yeah, you did, and can we stop talking about this now?  

Why?  What's so distressing about the subject of age, unless...[LF's
voice trails off in thought.  'Chelle watches him nervously.  LF
begins wandering down the hall to the FamilyRoom, opens the
FamilySafe, pulls out 'Chelle'sDocuFolder and begins searching for her
BirthCertificate.  'Chelle takes off down the hallway, plowing
straight into her BigBro and sending documents flying.  The BC, alas,
lands in the fireplace and immediately ignites.  LF takes a while to
recover from the ConcussingCollision.]

<oof> Well gee, 'Chelle, if you didn't want me to know about it, why
didn't you just *tell* me?!?!  8-)

>>Now I'm going to have to go back and read the boink report to see
>>what you were guilty of...
>I have a feeling the NM report is toooooo long to read!

I doubt it.  I could've sworn NM couldn't read or write...8-)

Lexi(WhoseEntireBodyIsACaffeineFactory[*])Fiend

[*] This fact, of course, has interesting implications for BloodBanks
    and FutureMates alike.  8-)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: hi all...
From: cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz (Clare West)
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 04:33:15 GMT
Organization: Dept of CompSci, U of Auckland

catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes:
>in case y'all didn't see my whine, I'm here.
>and involved in an LDR like a lot of people, so I understand.

[Sorry I've been such a bad host this last little while, I assure you
my welcoming will improve *honest*] (do you think they bought it?)

	  Welcome to ARCland, The Happiest Place On The Net!

*WELCOME HUGS*

clare

-- 
Oh, why didn't I listen when they said "Never do a   |  cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz 
 masters and try to have a life at the same time"?   |  clare west
                 BigSis to Chris, Eric and Kristiina
                    Official Welcomer of the RFA
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: lisad@dynamo.ecn.purdue.edu (Lisa Dominique)
Subject: Re: Hello (turn your radio on ...)
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 20:05:43 GMT

>>erisande@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Kryst the Philosopher) shares: 
>>
>	Yeah, I mean it all right...  Lis IS a cute one...  ;)

Such a lovely compliment!  And from such a very handsome
man too!  Thank You.  Cathy is a lucky lady!  :-)

** Hugs ** to you, Erin!  Looking forward to the wedding! 
I hear you are going to be "THE" photographer!  :-)


Lis, The Good Romantic Witch
President of the Romantic Fire Association
Like a Diamond, Her Life has Many Facets

p.s.  Heaven is a *Hug* and a *Smile*
      the Joy of Music and the Beauty of Silence
From: HJ46@lafibm.lafayette.edu (Brother to Many (Holton, Jeffrey))
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: RE: Catherine a sexy name?
Date: 29 Jul 92 12:32:30 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <1992Jul28.234355.27470@samba.oit.unc.edu> catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood) writes:
>Besides, no one's ever written a poem or a song about
>Catherine, though all you Amandas, Joannas, Sarahs, and
>such are so lucky...

I wrote a pointless little song once called "Kathytown."

Of course, I would have the misfortune to plan my studio session
for the day AFTER we broke up.  (I.E., it's an okay song, but was
recorded with very little feeling.)  [It wasn't my idea...I planned
the session a week in advance.  She called the relationship off with
no advance warning at all.  What was I supposed to do?  Not record?]

--Ba(What?MeWorry?)boo

P.S.  No, it never quite made it on the radio.  It wasn't even worth
copyrighting.
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: jcr@mbunix.mitre.org (Rogers)
Subject: Re: What can I do? Who can I turn to?
Organization: The MITRE Corporation, Bedford, MA
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 13:38:04 GMT

Damien,

I missed your original post but have gathered some of the details from
responses here. I can't offer much advice, but I can offer sympathy.

My parents had abusive episodes in their marriage, nearly always brought
on by my father's drinking. I am 32 now (God!), and my father's been dead
for seven years, but many scenes from those periods are burned into my
brain and they'll always be there. I'll never be able to forget being in
my room upstairs, hearing their fighting below me, followed by the slap
of fist on flesh, the thump of body hitting floor, then me running out
of my room to find my mom lying on the floor near the foot of the stairs,
whimpering like a wounded kitten, my father standing over her. I, too,
reacted by jumping in and yelling at my father. In fact, on that occasion
I threatened to kill him if he did that again. And I remember the look on
his face when I said that, a look showing his own pain and frustration and
guilt.

My parents never sought professional help, and I was just a kid, I didn't
know what to do. I suppose that all contributed to my viewing college as an
escape of sorts, a path out, and then to my looking for a job in a totally
different part of the country. I feel pretty much at peace with it all
now, but it still affects me. Probably its biggest effect right now is
it gives me a tendency to fear, or at best be ambivalent about, relation-
ships. I certainly never want to be in one that goes like theirs did!

Someone talked about conselling, Lisa D. I think, and I second everything
she said, but would like to add that you might wish to consider it for
yourself. Even if it can't help your mother right now, it might be a big
help for you! And the healthier *you* are, the better you'll be able to
help others.

Best of luck,
              Jeff R.
From: catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu (Catherine Collingwood)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: the G word
Date: 31 Jul 92 04:20:08 GMT
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service

it's not George.

THEspian, you're welcome to tell them, but remember this: you better be GLAD
you're 200 miles from me and my rickety car!
I'm regretting making that statement in the first place, but now that the can
of worms is open it can't be closed, can it?

Catherine can be a sexy name when it's said right, but how many
of y'all guys out there have dated a Catherine or a Katherine or
a Kathryn long enough to say it like they like it?

--just thoughts.


Catherine G. Collingwood, aka Lady Firebird 
catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu --or-- ccolling@nyx.cs.du.edu
"Imagination is only intelligence having fun."  --Anon.
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: velour@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Michelle Wiener)
Subject: Re: lost & lonely
Organization: Northwestern University, Evanston Illinois.
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 15:43:53 GMT

Kryst the Philosopher writes:
>velour@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Michelle Wiener)
>
>>especially in grade school when everyone called me "Mitch" except the boy I
>>had a tremendous crush on who always called me Michelle... *sigh*  I loved him
>>for that.
>
>	Sorry.  I didn't know you cared.  I wouldn't have stopped if I
>would have known.  ;)  [Hysterical Laughter]  I need a drink.

And make it a double!   "Didn't know you cared..." I was SOOOOO obvious in
grade school it wasn't even funny.  Writing notes, always contriving to sit
next to him (which was tough, because all of my friends had crushes on him
too)... having my best friend call him up with me on the line and have her ask
if he liked me  ("as a friend..").  *sigh*  Thank God I learned some subtlety
in high school!!

Michelle

Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: swalter@nyx.cs.du.edu (DreamWeaver)
Subject: Re: To Chivalrous Lis protecting Knights
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 23:49:14 GMT


BDC asks:
> Dreamweavere writes:
> >Jes call me the Don Quixote of the Dreamer Set :)
> Well I ain't Jes, but can I call you Donny???

Well ::DW reads his failed attempt at a southern drawl and chuckles:: ...
you can call me Ray ... or you can call me Jay ... 

-DreamWeaver
From: lf@barkley.berkeley.edu (LexicographicalFiend)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: The ARCKissingBooth (was Re: Kissin')
Date: 29 Jul 92 08:12:01
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
	<LF.92Jul28180119@barkley.berkeley.edu>
	<1992Jul29.080959.15135@cs.aukuni.ac.nz>
NNTP-Posting-Host: barkley.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: cwes1@cs.aukuni.ac.nz's message of Wed, 29 Jul 1992 08:09:59 GMT

Clare enthuses:
><clap> <clap> <clap> *loud applause*

<blush><bow><bow> Thankee kindly...

Never really liked writing NeoMedieval stuff -- didn't think I could
get the nuances quite right.  Glad to have been mistaken...8-)

>LF - you never cease to amaze,

[A startled LF frantically looks around, belatedly realizing that he
is trapped in a maze of dark twisty passages, all slightly different.]

Lexi(HALP!)Fiend
From: HJ46@lafibm.lafayette.edu (Brother to Many (Holton, Jeffrey))
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Catherine a sexy name?
Date: 30 Jul 92 12:12:28 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University
Originator: news@lafcol

In article <jon.712421407@ccl.umist.ac.uk> jon@ccl.umist.ac.uk (Jon Wells) writes:
>
>Love 'n' kisses  (girls only, I'm afraid) (no sexist flames, please)...
>
>Jon
>jon@ccl.umist.ac.uk


AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!

*Jeff runs cowering in homophobic fear until he realizes, "Oh, he *did*
specify a gender there.  Phew...."*

No problem, Jon.  ;)  <---- no, I am not winking at you in *THAT* manner

---J.

P.S.  As long as I'm here...can you do me a favor and hold these arms
behind this person's back for a few minutes...I'll be right back.
From: kkwwkk@mixcom.com (TA Shaw)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: To Chivalrous Lis protecting Knights
Date: 27 Jul 92 11:28:51 GMT
Article-I.D.: mixcom.1992Jul27.112851.4196
Organization: Milwaukee Internet Xchange BBS, Milwaukee, WI U.S.A.


DreamWeaver asks:
+Alright, BDC ... you've placed everybody else in the ARC as far as
+particular characteristics ...
+ ... where the heck am I?
Denver maybe????

+ (and don't you dare say Planet O ;)
Planet Eau (Sorry local humour)
How about Planet Eye or was that Aye.......

I guess a couple questions have to be asked:
1) Are you gentleman?
2) Are you willing to be someone's champion?

Depending on your answers, I think I can place you....


But wait there's more......

BDC
-- 
   "Life is a highway, I want to drive it all night long" 
    Tom Cochrane 
    1983 750 Maximum
    kkwwkk@mixcom.com                 shaw@mixcom.com
From: lf@barkley.berkeley.edu (LexicographicalFiend)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: I Am Still Around :)
Date: 22 Jul 92 10:16:41
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
	<LF.92Jul20234126@barkley.berkeley.edu>
	<1992Jul21.225453.4519@sequent.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: barkley.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: rip@sequent.com's message of Tue, 21 Jul 92 22:54:53 GMT

Rip chuckles:
>LF puns:
>>Copping a feel again, aren't you?  I just don't understand how you can
>>get away with impersonating a Highway Patrol officer.  [Audience
>>groans loudly at the TrulyHorrendousPun.]
>Har har, hardy har har, har har har.... it *is* to laugh...
>Yes ma'am, it *is* a breathelyzer...

Oh really?  What are *those*, condensation sacs?  8-)

>>And so it is...what the *heck* are you talking about???
>Last night during our little 'chat' you used both of these phrases at
>one point or another.  You really must come up with some new
>matterial, my friend... :-)
 ^^^^^^^^^
OK, how's about the following put-down line?

Ma'am, that's a nice boson you've got there.  Is that real or a gluon?

(Non-ParticlePhysicsPractitioners can stop scratching their heads now. 8-)

Lexi(QuarkOfFate)Fiend