Newsgroups: alt.child-support
Subject: Re: child support probs
From: lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 11:08:34 PST
Organization: The Old Coot's (Spare) Almanac

jim@jimmc.chi.il.us (jim mcnicholas) writes:

> grease@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca writes:
> 
> > Hey dickheads (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)...with regards to Lisa and her
> > little girl`s pony
>
>         [lots of stuff deleted]
> 
> > So quit pining for your lost loves and get a job...
> > ...miserable, sorry, pathetic excuses for parents.
>
>         Ya know It's funny when someone has no idea what they're 
>         talking about it sticks out like a sore thumb, eh!!
>         Dickhead, oh that's intelligent, deprived (depraved)!!

Jim,

No question Gary's post was anything but intellectual. I don't believe
it was intended as such. Personally, I felt he wasted a good opportunity
to contribute a different perspective that we hear little of on this net, that
of the "step-parent".  Oh well, it was his nickel, I guess.

>         Listen you, I know what it's like you obviously don't and 
>         obviously you're not a NCP, so shut the fu*k up!!
>         I pine not for any lost love!  I am a great parent, ask 
>         my kids. I would like to suggest you for 3 months without 
>         warning, put 60% of your net away after you get your check!  
>         Live on what's left, sure you might have to sacrifice but 
>         that's not the point, remember what happens to the man is 
>         unimportant!  Even if it means bankruptcy you don't matter, 
>         Then 3 months down the road recieve a bill for horse boarding, 
>         which you can't pay!!  Try all this on 30,000 dollars a year!!  
>         Then maybe you'll have walked in someone elses moccasins. Til 
>         then keep your hypothetical crap off the net dweeb!

Gary knows far too well about the inequities of situations like ours. He
knows that since we've been together, I've worked an average of 50 -80+
hours a week, been "On-Call" 24 hrs./day, and the most I've made for that in
one year is $19,846.58(gross).  He also knows that my ex's worst year since
we split up (NET) was $34,764.87, with an average NET over the past 4 years
of $45,346.00/year.  My average net (working full-time) for the same period,
is $17,750.16. If I thought I'd be any good as a crane operator, trust me, I'd
be one (or a pump truck driver, my ex is both)!

Gary was in animation for 10 years before he moved in with us. Its a very
"on again, off again" business, and he could no longer afford to have an
unstable, unpredictable income. He had averaged a net income of somewhere
around $15,000/yr. before he left animation, working when it suited him,
which was good enough for him as a carefree bachelor.  Now he works 9 - 5,
5 days a week and should realize an annual net of about $18,500.00, next year.
 At least its consistent...

Now, Gary has given all but his cigarette money to helping provide for children
that he loves dearly, though they're not his. If he stays with me (and I believe
he will), he will never be able to have children of his own.  As a result of his
making the daily, basic needs of my children his first priority, he is now about
to have his wages garnisheed by the Dept. of Sec. of State, at $500/mo., for an
 outstanding  student loan he's been unable to pay adequately as a result of
his commitment to paying for things like dental bills for the girls...on our
combined incomes, there simply isn't enough to go around.  As Gary's only
realized full-time, permanent employment since Sept. 1st, we've got a ways to
go before we see any break in our combined debtloads.

Having candidly given you all of that info' to do with as you will, remember
that at least 2X a month, the girls' non-paying Daddy comes along (sometimes in
his friend's plane and takes them skiing or what-have-you. If you average out
what payments for support he's made over the past  year alone, it works out to
$125.83/month. With an average net mo'ly income of around $3778.00, my ex is not
so hard done by!(Admittedly, he's made less $$$ this year, but then, he's been
working under the table, so who knows what he's really bringing in?)  His
 Ordered Child Support amount is $750.00/mo., plus $150/mo.
into a trust account for the girls' future (college, etc.). Those amounts were
the ones HE (my ex) came up with as reasonable, and to which I agreed. This
would leave him with a net after child support, of $2878/mo., for just himself...
That's more than Gary and my net incomes put together, and out of which we must
provide for 4 people!

Bankruptcy?  Yeh, we know all about it. I was advised to file bankruptcy last
July, by the gov't run Debtor's Assistance Branch here. When my car got
repo'ed, I decided to try to tough it out and not declare bankruptcy. With
the current garnishee notice re: Gary's student loan, we'll both be filing
by the looks of things.

 imagine that taking responsibility for ones own life, I'd like to go to
 france for a week, don't have the money so I don't go!  Not that I'm deprived
 it just isn't in the budget. poor babys!!
> 
The only one who's not taking responsibilty here is the girls' father. "Poor
Baby" indeed!  Looking through his current Affidavit here, ah, let's see...
Oct. '90; net income? $4098.86; C.S. paid? $475.00 (hey, that was a good one!)
April '91; "    "   ? $3353.08; C.S. paid? $230.00
July '91;  "    "   ? $3624.81; C.S. paid?  NIL
April '92; "    "   ? $3109.72; C.S. paid? $230.00
July '92 ; "    "   ? $2653.00; C.S. paid? NIL
 (The above  months I'm picking at random...)

Let's compare, ok?  Oct '90 net (mine); $1474.00
                    April '91 net     ; $1536.00
                    July '91 net      ; $1649.00
                    April '92 net     ; $1572.26
                    July '92 net      ; $1604.00
            
The point is, Gary's ire and fire is quite understandable, if misplaced here,
I think. He has no objection to, in fact, is quite willing to help feed and
house the girls. The fact that he and I have both found this often very hard to
do, while managing other old, accumulated debts (like his student loan), while
"Daddy" refuses to even send $10 for a school field trip, etc., can build up some
serious resentment after awhile! And Gary's  living with me has not altered in
any way, my ex's unwillingness to pay C.S....he refused to contribute any
meaningful/court Ordered amount long before Gary came along.

$30,000/year? Try netting well under $20,000 and having to use that for
supporting children who aren't yours, and whose own father, who makes
at least triple your income, merrily plays but won't help pay!

I'd be most interested in hearing from step-parents out there in situations
like ours.  Gary's post was a knee-jerk response to the tiresome flaming
that had been tossed my way for some time, on this net...it didn't help
his cause much, no doubt, but it was made in defense of myself and for
that, I appreciate his support. Hopefully, next time he'll be a lot more
eloquent and less inflammatory.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Lisa

lisa@oneb2.almanac.bc.ca (Lisa Lambeth)
                  The Old Coot's Almanac
               Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada
                    Courtesy the old coot hisse'f!