HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder)
Subject: Re: Unlurking Alert
Organization: Brookhaven National Laboratory, Upton, NY 11973
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 20:36:19 GMT

In article <1992Dec10.211512.14692@clsi.COM> kevin@clsi.com writes:

>WHFS: Living in a screwed-up place in a screwed-up time with screwed-up people,
>      does not necessarily mean you are screwed-up.

But it sure speeds the proccess up.


-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gary L. Schroeder  		|  If this .sig causes dizziness or  
schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov         |  vertigo, dicontinue use and consult    
Brookhaven National Laboratory  |  your physician. 
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.men,soc.women,alt.flame
From: rohwerwd@netcom.com (Mr. Tickle Monster)
Subject: Re: Duck and Jive (was Re: Pre-Sex Contract )
Organization: The Tickle Palace - Moonyvale, CA
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 03:56:15 GMT

In article <1992Dec18.234120.50837@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.IBM.com writes:
>In <1992Dec18.085047.23945@netcom.com> rohwerwd@netcom.com (Mr. Tickle Monster) writes:
>>
>>     I would rather die than fuck you.  I saw you at the party and
>>although you are physically pretty, I think that, overall, you are an
>>extraordinarily ugly bitch.
>[...]
>>     Maybe you will get suckers to play your sex games.  And maybe
>>one of those times, you will become pregnant and he will leave
>>you cold and wet.
>[...]
>>     And you lost, bitch.
>
>Please report to james dutton for sensitivity training.
>--

     Just responding in kind after two or three ad hom attack articles by
her.

     If you can get a lot of other people to report to James Dutton
for sensitivity training, then I may, too.

-- 
"Blind faith in your leaders or anything will get you killed." B. Springsteen
                                         +---------------------------------+
  +-----------------------------------+ /  On Vacation:  12/21 to 12/27   /
 /   // Mr. Tickle Monster   // Amiga ++---------------------------------+
|  \X/   W. David Rohwer   \X/  3000  /  Internet: rohwerwd@netcom.COM  /
+------------------------------------+---------------------------------+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: gds@york.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Originator: gds@york.cs.ucla.edu
Reply-To: gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner)
Organization: in your face!
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 20:33:06 GMT

In article <15932@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>I wrote:
>|Well, they have a right to do whatever they want, I suppose.  However,
>|I have a right to express my opinion.  If someone claims that I have
>|no class because I don't offer to pay on a date ...
>That "no class" crack really has twisted the panties of a few net.men
>here. Let's go over the scenario once again. [much deleted]
>The man picks her up and takes her to a restaurant for dinner.  She has
>not selected the restaurant.  She orders as she would normally do, and lets
>say the total bill comes to $60 without the tip.

>The man then asked the woman for $30 but said "I'll get the tip."

>It was the womans opinion that this man has no class and I agree with her.  
>That's the scenario she described and "going out with the homeboys" is not
>the thing.

I didn't see that part of the posting, only text that was included
from that posting, and the original was expired from my machine.  I
personally wouldn't demand that someone I asked out pay their share.
However I won't say that this is cheesy and classless (because after
all, what is chessy and classless is dependent on point of view
regarding etiquette, etc.).  I think as we move forward in time and
turn our backs on antiquated notions about dating, women can (and
should) expect to pay for themselves on a date.

>|I do not see what contracts have to do with a simple act of
>|consideration.
>Have you been following the Pre-Sex contract thread?

Nope.

>The date is supposed to be a romantic (possibly) encounter with
>someone and negotiating how it is going to be paid for sound more
>like a business transaction.  Just what percentage of the tab is it
>necessary for a woman to come up with to avoid hurting your feelings.
>50%,  30%?  Is 15% enough?

Why don't you go back and read what I said, John?  I never claimed
that any % was necessary to avoid hurting my feelings.  I said that
when someone offers to pay a share of their way, or the tip, or for
dessert, or even for next time, it shows that they have consideration
for me.  I might not even take them up on it.  It is just something
that I consider important.

>I would much prefer a "Thank you very much for dinner tonight.  I had
>a wonderful time", and maybe a kiss on the cheek than 25% of the tab and
>a handshake.

You have your preferences, and so do I.  All I'm trying to say here is
that I'm much more likely to be generous with people who acknowledge
my generosity with more than a simple thank you.
From: jsp@uts.amdahl.com (James Preston)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Date: 17 Dec 92 00:01:03 GMT
Reply-To: jsp@pls.amdahl.com
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:

}In article <1992Dec16.014405.5579@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
}>In article <15916@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
}|>In article <1992Dec15.192027.25721@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:

}|>|When I ask someone out, I expect to pay, but I appreciate it when they
}|>|offer to pay part or all of their way, or leave the tip.
}|>Do fill out a Pre-Dinner contract to negotiate percentages before
}|>ordering? 
}|
}|I do not see what contracts have to do with a simple act of
}|consideration.
} 
}Have you been following the Pre-Sex contract thread?  The date is supposed
}to be a romantic (possibly) encounter with someone and negotiating how
}it is going to be paid for sound more like a business transaction.  

Hey John, is it ok for me to say that Greg is devoid of a sense of humor?

--James Preston

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor)
Subject: user query
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 02:05:04 GMT

Would some kind soul who has some proficiency in elm and emacs be
willing to try and answer a stupid user question?  And, yes, I have
asked my sysadm and he doesn't know and it's not in the on-line
manual.

--
              For flavor, instant sex will never supercede 
              the stuff you have to peel and cook. 
                                  -- Quentin Crisp
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: People who give too much in a relationship (was Re: Attraction...)
Date: 11 Dec 92 19:45:45 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

Matt Valentine writes:

>It was the best relationship I had so far.  The  
>only problem was, her self esteem was so low that she constantly made  
>'sacrifices' in the relationship (I never asked her to) to try to offset  
>her imperfections.  After about a year, she told me I was taking her for  
>granted and she dumped me (sob sob).  

How many of you have been in a relationship with someone who made
unnecessary sacrifices of this sort? How soon did you figure out that this
was going on? Did any of you come up with ways to help your SO check 
this tendency? Did it work?

As Matt suggests, there are a lot of attractive (in the broad sense) 
people who have this tendency. Although one can hope that someone will
always know what they want and ask for it, that's not always the case; and
as this example demonstrates, such situations can escalate out of control
and cause the destruction of a relationship that has potential.

Ultimately in a relationship, the goal is for both parties to feel that
they can be themselves and can ask for what they want. But a lot of people
go into a relationship with some other state of mind -- with beliefs that 
they cannot ask for certain things. 

It is up to the individual to change this tendency. But is there any way
for an SO to help? Can you, for example, stick up a red flag when your 
partner seems to be doing this and ask them to double-check whether they 
are being true to themselves?

We all want someone who has their act together in every way. But given that
people of that sort seem quite rare, we'd all be better off in our search
for a mate if we knew some basic ways of helping the imperfect person that
we are likely to find become more comfortable with him- or herself. 

Stef                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
stef@apple.com       It is the time you have wasted for your rose
                     that makes your rose so important.       Saint-Exupery
                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Newsgroups: soc.singles,ba.singles,misc.legal
From: rohwerwd@netcom.com (Mr. Tickle Monster)
Subject: Re: Pre-Sex Contract
Followup-To: soc.women,soc.singles,ba.singles,misc.legal,soc.men
Organization: The Tickle Palace - Moonyvale, CA
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 06:28:41 GMT

In article <1992Dec17.234601.11522@asuvax.eas.asu.edu> ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes:
>In article <71914@cup.portal.com>, DeadHead@cup.portal.com (Bruce M Ong) writes:
>> >LM> Fer crissakes, if you feel that way, why not just get a
>> >LM> vasectomy??
>> >It's not that simple, Lana.  *David* may not want children (perhaps never),
>> >but a vasectomy might be a bit TOO extreme, especially if he should decide in
>> >the future that he wants to have a family.
>> >
>> 	WHAT? You mean he is gonna change his mind later on, at a point in
>> his life that he wants to take new circumstances into consideration???? 
>> Isnt that like lying to himself? He hates being lied to, I hear. 
>> 
>> 	:-)
>
>     What a singularly stupid remark to make, Bruce.
>Or is that smiley thing supposed to excuse you?
>
>--Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
>                        {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
>                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
>                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu


-- 
                                         +---------------------------------+
  +-----------------------------------+ /  On Vacation:  12/21 to 12/27   /
 /   // Mr. Tickle Monster   // Amiga ++---------------------------------+
|  \X/   W. David Rohwer   \X/  3000  /  Internet: rohwerwd@netcom.COM  /
+------------------------------------+---------------------------------+
From: martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Abortion
Date: 12 Dec 92 03:15:35 GMT
	<228@cnmhnet.UUCP>
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP's message of 11 Dec 92 18:04:33 GMT

In article <228@cnmhnet.UUCP> keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard) writes:

   In article <1992Dec9.220244.6416@cbnewsi.cb.att.com> gadfly@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (Gadfly) writes:
   >> Is abortion wrong?
   >Discussing it in this newsgroup is!

   No Gadfly, it isn't.  

Yes, Keith, it is.
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Size 8? (Re: What is NOT attractive to "SINGLE" men)
Date: 16 Dec 92 16:26:14 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Dec15.203753.9339@netcom.com> cocoa@netcom.com writes:

|Or perhaps by standing on a man's ribcage while wearing spike heels that have
|the plastic heel peice gone, so that the nails are sticking right into the 
|man's flesh.  And then walking up and down his chest a few times.
|
|Just me,
|
|little 'e'
|
|(Still working out my "moving" agressions),  (Hi Beth!)

Hi, e'. Remind me not to ask you out the next time you move.

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
From: souchay@CAM.ORG (Francois Souchay)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Woman: will you go out with shorter man?
Date: 15 Dec 92 02:33:43 GMT
Organization: Communications Accessibles Montreal, Quebec Canada

In article <1992Dec14.190135.11276@b8.b8.ingr.com> larry@b8.b8.ingr.com (Larry Billings) writes:
>In article <Bz7Cn3.5Kt@CAM.ORG>, souchay@CAM.ORG (Francois Souchay) writes:
>> Gotta go now, time to find something to make some girls' eyes light up.
>What's that?  Cattle prod?  Tazer?  :)

Jeez, get greeted by Stef into the newsgroup, and *look* what happens.

>> I get nieced in 5 days, can't wait!  
>Yea i've heard that "she's my niece" story before.  :)
>Larry
>
Heh. 

Ok, YOU try keeping up with an 8 and a 6 year old. This I do only for
family :-). 

Francois, still blown away by this uncle concept.
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Am I banished?
Date: 15 Dec 92 02:05:03 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <liq025INNa0n@news.bbn.com> kgorman@bbn.com (Karen Gorman) writes:
>In article <lipoeqINN7nq@news.bbn.com>, dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
| 
||> Hee hee hee.  I might have to be drugged to *get* married again 
|
I saw a good quote a little while a go in another news group that I though
that Dawn and others might like. (substitute husband for wife if appropriate)

   I still miss my ex-wife
   But my aim is getting better.

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: larry@b8.b8.ingr.com (Larry Billings)
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Organization: Intergraph
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 13:29:30 GMT

In article <92350.203417SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>, Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA> writes:
> *sigh*
> actually, make that a *heavy sigh*
> 
> Why does there have to be one standard way to approach this negotiation,
> so long as everyone knows there isn't one standard way to approach this
> negotiation?
> 
> I mean, I'm seen a couple flip a coin for the bill.  One lady I went out
> with, it was a case of who could pounce on the thing first (as a game,
> not a serious run over the waitress behaviour.)
> 

Did you then have to wrestle her for it?  Could be a FUN game.  :)

> The One Right Way To Apportion Payment When Asking Someone Out will
> have to remain elusive for awhile.
> 
> Graydon


-- 
Larry

             This .sig file has been purposely left blank.
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 12:53:41 EST
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Kissing Frogs
Distribution: na
 <1fu1r8INN2la@golem.wcc.govt.nz> <1992Dec12.004306.23870@netcom.com>
 <7894@news.duke.edu>

In article <7894@news.duke.edu>, diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) says:
>
>This reminds me of something one of my friends (one of my MALE friends,
>mind you) says about men.
>
>"All men are either clueless or assholes.  If you meet one who seems
> to be neither, he's probably an asshole."
>
>Hi, little 'e'!
>
>                                --Beth
>
>diamond@acpub.duke.edu| We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn
>Elizabeth S. Abrams   | them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress
>                      | but the memory of the smell of smoke, and the
>                      | presumption that once our eyes watered. -Tom Stoppard

Oh, drat.  Yet another data point that sugguests I really *am*
an alien.

Graydon
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.women,soc.men,ba.singles,misc.legal
From: kevin@rotag.mi.org (Kevin Darcy)
Subject: Re: Pre-Sex Contract
Organization: Who, me???
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 00:45:10 GMT

In article <ByLr9B.E3A.1@cs.cmu.edu> Deborah_Brown@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu writes:
>
>So now there is an unplanned conception.  The man who wants to enforce
>this contract is saying: "here are your two choices. abort, or relieve
>me of all responsibility in the matter."  Well, _I_ will not agree to
>abort.  While I have mixed feelings about whether it should be a
>"choice" for a woman to get an abortion or not, I can tell you that
>_my_ choice would be NO.  Furthermore, I would be very troubled by the
>fact that the man who proposed this contract would find it so easy to
>suggest that I abort the fetus, the conception of which he was EQUALLY
>responsible for.  Sure, he's entitled to his opinion. And I'm entitled
>to conclude that this sort of man is NOT the type that I will care to
>sleep with.

Okay, so don't sign the contract. But why would you deprive women who
WOULD abort under those circumstances, from being able to sign a contract 
guaranteeing them a subsidy of those abortion costs from the man?

								- Kevin
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Date: 17 Dec 92 19:50:02 GMT
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <4beZ032cc4EN00@amdahl.uts.amdahl.com> jsp@pls.amdahl.com writes:
>johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
|
|}In article <1992Dec16.014405.5579@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
|}>In article <15916@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
|}|>In article <1992Dec15.192027.25721@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
|
|}|>|When I ask someone out, I expect to pay, but I appreciate it when they
|}|>|offer to pay part or all of their way, or leave the tip.
|}|>Do fill out a Pre-Dinner contract to negotiate percentages before
|}|>ordering? 
|}|
|}|I do not see what contracts have to do with a simple act of
|}|consideration.
|} 
|}Have you been following the Pre-Sex contract thread?  The date is supposed
|}to be a romantic (possibly) encounter with someone and negotiating how
|}it is going to be paid for sound more like a business transaction.  
>
|Hey John, is it ok for me to say that Greg is devoid of a sense of humor?

Be my guest, James.  Put half a smiley on it though.  

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith)
Subject: Why spoil a friendship?
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 18:45:44 GMT
Keywords: as seen in alt.romance

I just saw this in alt.romance...........................
====================================================================

>Article 27623 of alt.romance:
>Newsgroups: alt.romance
>From: panlilio@acs.ucalgary.ca (Victor P. Panlilio)
>Subject: Re: The Scariest Words In The World?
>Summary: Cop-outs and brush-off tactics of the immature
>Date: Sun, 06 Dec 92 06:29:12 GMT
>
>In article <c60a-gx.723531535@danube.Berkeley.EDU> c60a-gx@danube.Berkeley.EDU (Jeffrey Twu) writes:
>
>About not wanting to "spoil" a friendship with "romance"....
>
>>I remember a year ago, I was talking with this girl, who commented on
>>this belief.  She wasn't using it as a dump line on me, but instead asked
>>"Don't you think that if a relationship doesn't work out between [very
>>good] friends, it'll never be the same between them again?"  Then she
>>added, "I've known some people who hardly ever speak to each other
>>again..."
>
>>What do you think?
>
>Just another sign that there are very few *true* adults around...
>
>VERY FEW people are highly-evolved, at least to the point where
>they are able to nurture a friendship, allow it to blossom into a
>romance, and if the romance fizzles or fades or sputters, return
>to a cozy, nonpossessive, life-affirming friendship. *VERY FEW*
>people are capable of the kind of life-affirming co-nurturance
>that lies at the heart of ALL healthy relationships. We live in a
>world of easy credit and disposable connections, where commitment
>is a threat to the pursuit of instant self-gratification, where
>the word sacrifice does not ring a resonant chord with most folk,
>where all the talk is about codependency and dysfunctional people
>and wounded inner children and toxic parents and addictive social
>systems and pathological behaviours and whatnot -- the self-help
>section of most bookstores offers panaceas for every affliction
>that besets the human psyche, or so it would seem nowadays...
>
>I think VERY FEW people understand that love is an act of will.
>We may not choose whether we shall be attracted or not to some
>people, but we can certainly choose whether or not to love them.
>
>There is a difference. A BIG one. But most people don't know it.
>That's because the only growing up most people do is to acquire
>the cynicism of embittered old age, rather than retain a certain
>type of childlike, spontaneous wisdom into their "adulthood."
>
>This is why human evolution is so slow, in some ways...
>
>Victor


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.)
Subject: Re: Over 40 and single....Anyone that "OLD"?
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 92 12:10:42 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <1992Dec17.192523.7970@netcom.com> aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine) writes:
>In article <1gpnecINNqe7@mirror.digex.com> huston@access.digex.com (Herb Huston) writes:
>>In article <3b+rr8q@lynx.unm.edu> blowfish@carina.unm.edu (rON.) writes:
>>}r. (a 28 year old generation X baby-buster child, and proud of it :)
>>Let's see:  1992 - 28 = 1964, which was the final year of the baby boom.
>Depends who you talk to.  I've seen it placed anywhere from '60 to '65.

Actually, I'm only 27 (02/12/65). Mis-keyed the age there.
r. (almost 28 :)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: csw3503@u.cc.utah.edu (csw3503)
Subject: Is there an FAQ?
Keywords: frequently asked questions
Organization: University of Utah Computer Center
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 07:34:19 GMT

Subject says it all--"Is there an FAQ?"

(Couldn't find it in this newsgroup.)

Thanks for any help.


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kevin@clsi.COM (Kevin Cameron)
Subject: Re: Surrogate companion
Originator: kevin@dubhe
Reply-To: kevin@clsi.com
Organization: CAD Language Systems Inc.
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 21:46:44 GMT


In article <1992Dec17.174336.12046@cheshire.oxy.edu>, ac@cheshire.oxy.edu (Aileen Cho) writes:
> 
>   After reading various threads, I wuz inspired to throw out some stuff:
> --Anybody else suffer from the "understudy for the part" syndrome? 

Is this for a play or a film ?

Anyway, I'm afraid I've been typecast, and there isn't a part for me }:-)

Kev.

-- 

WHFS: Living in a screwed-up place in a screwed-up time with screwed-up people,
      does not necessarily mean you are screwed-up.
Newsgroups: soc.singles