From: skinner@sp1.csrd.uiuc.edu (Gregg M. Skinner)
Subject: Re: I'm God. (long)
Reply-To: g-skinner@uiuc.edu
Organization: UIUC Center for Supercomputing Research and Development
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 13:57:02 GMT

In light of the criticism that most "evidence" for "Jesus" comes from
believers, I'd like to repost something that appeared in
rec.humor.funny a few months ago.  My intent here is simply to provide
food for thought.  The article is long, but humorous.

[Begin article]---------------------------------------------------------
Reposted with permission from misc.headlines

From: alu@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (Alan Lustiger)
Subject: THE "STATE" OF IDAHO: THE CASE FOR OPEN DEBATE
Date: 20 May 92 15:15:40 GMT

THE "STATE" OF IDAHO: THE CASE FOR OPEN DEBATE

If you would ask any schoolchild how many states there are in the
United States, you will get the same answer: 50. Fifty states
in the Union. It is simply an accepted "fact." If you would
disagree with this supposed "fact," you would be branded insane
or worse.

However, mounting evidence shows that there are in fact only 49
states in the US, and the "state" of Idaho is a baseless myth.

We have been trying to distribute and publish this information
for over *two years*, but our scholarship has not been given
any respect. We have been censored, vilified, ridiculed and
spat upon by the "traditional" geographers and historians, but
WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED! 

All we ask is that the existence of the state of Idaho be debated, 
as every other historical and geographic "fact" can be debated.
Time after time, our opponents have refused to debate us on the
FACTS. This alone should tell you something about the people who
support the "existence" of this "43rd state."

Please read the following evidence VERY CAREFULLY, and you will be 
astonished at the veracity of our cause. 

THE POPULATION MYTH

Do you know anybody from Idaho? Do you know anybody *who knows
anybody* from Idaho? According to the 1990 "census," there are
over one million (1,000,000, or 1 x 10^6) people living in
Idaho. But if there are so many Idahoers, where are they?

Some people have come forward and claimed that they were born
and raised in "Idaho." But *every single person* who made this
claim have been shown to be frauds and charlatans. These "Idahoan
wannabes" are invariably inconsistent with each other about the 
size (in square miles or square kilometers) of "Idaho," about
various town and village names, and even about the names
of "Idaho's mighty rivers." 

THE SIZE FARCE

According to traditional geographic sources (created entirely
by people who believe in the existence of Idaho, and probably
the Tooth Fairy, also) the "State" of Idaho is more than twice
the size of Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, 
Connecticut and Massachusetts *combined.* Isn't it strange that
a state with such vast land resources has so few people?  And
even of you look at a map (created by the Idaho-centric 
cartographers) the "State" of "Idaho" is dwarfed by its much
larger neighbor, Montana. 

SATELLITE EVIDENCE

Recently declassified weather satellite information, showing
the entire continental United States, shows absolutely *no
evidence* that there is any state where "Idaho" is supposedly
located. Noted experts in the field of interpreting these
pictures unanimously agree that, from outer space, it is
impossible to determine the borders of this elusive "state."
Yet meteorologists and cartographers routinely overlay
these satellite pictures with the outline of states that
would seem to indicate Idaho's existence.

PHOTOGRAPHIC "EVIDENCE"

Many people, skeptical of the clear evidence that Idaho
does not and never did exist, point to photographs that they've
seen in encyclopedias and postcards seeming to show parts of the 
state of Idaho. 

It is important to note that a photograph without a caption
is often meaningless. A picture of people in boats surrounded
by mountains could have been taken in Colorado or Nevada, 
but when the holy *caption* says that this is a picture of
the "Salmon River" in "Idaho," gullible readers tend to
swallow this information whole *without any further examination.*

We have examined literally hundreds of these "photographs," and
the ones that are not outright fakes are all clearly taken in
other parts of the nation.

ASK THE JAPANESE

It is well known that Americans are woefully ignorant about
geography, which is one reason why it is so easy to fake an
entire state here. Not surprisingly, most of the effort to
create the illusion of Idaho has been expended in the USA.

But if you would ask a typical Japanese or French schoolchild
about what he/she knows about Idaho, you will usually get a
blank stare. People who are much better at geography than 
Americans have never heard to this "great state." 

THE POTATO MYTH 

Any given supermarket in the United States has sacks of potatoes
clearly marked "Idaho Potatoes." People make the assumption, that
when they are buying these potatoes, that they were *grown* in
the "state" of "Idaho." 

Actually, "Idaho" is a type of potato, just like "McIntosh" is
a type of apple. The FACT is that *many* states have potato crops,
as well as foreign countries, and potatoes that say "Idaho" on
them are no more from Idaho than Baltimore Orioles all come 
from Maryland.

SO, WHAT'S THERE?

Nothing. THERE IS NOTHING THERE. We have been so brainwashed
by the traditional mapmaking community to think that if Idaho
doesn't exist, then there must be some sort of vacuum there
instead. This is nonsense.

The very shapes and positions of the states, and indeed of
every nation on the planet, is only known through "information"
provided by cartographers. It is akin to asking "if Santa's
house isn't at the North Pole, then what's there instead?"

THE CARTOGRAPHER CONSPIRACY

The *only evidence* that there is a state called Idaho comes from
maps. Everybody has maps, in almanacs, in encyclopedias, and
on the walls of every elementary school classroom in America.

Astonishingly, *over 99%* of all maps are created by *cartographers!*
If any clearly defined set of people would control any other
important industry to that degree, everybody would be up in arms
about the undue influence given to a meager few. However, for
some reason, Cartographers are immune to such criticism. Any
mention about the Cartographer influence over the mapmaking
industry (and, as a natural extension, OUR VERY THOUGHTS!) is 
dismissed as "lunacy." 

As an indication of how insidious is this influence, just think:
have you ever questioned a map? Maps, being graphical objects,
require much less effort to assimilate into our very psyches. 
Behavioral studies show that people can much more readily understand
maps than printed descriptions of geographical areas; in fact,
the images on maps tend to go directly into the subconsciousness
of Man (Homo Sapiens) without the critical thinking that accompanies
reading. In a very real way, Cartographers are the *real* Thought
Police. 

But they do not work in a vacuum. There are much too few of them 
to do their real damage unaided. Mapmakers have conspired with the
editors of almanacs and encyclopedias to create a fantastic illusion
of space where there is none, people where there aren't any, and 
ski resorts where none exist. 

ONLY THE BEGINNING

This is only the tip of the iceberg. We have much more material
on this conspiracy, and we have yet to uncover one iota of evidence
that Idaho has ever existed. All of the so-called "evidence" is
a mixture of falsifications, coersions, lies and exaggerations.

The Cartographers would like nothing better than to silence us.
If you do not see any more postings on this subject, then you 
have clear evidence that their Conspiracy of Silence on Idaho 
has succeeded, and that Freedom of Speech has been curtailed by
the Cartographical Thought Police. 

What can you do? All we ask is that you be open minded. Of course,
you cannot trust any of the second-hand evidence that you would
find in libraries, maps (!), airline schedules or street signs.
All you can trust is what we have written here. We are confident
that once you evaluate all of the valid evidence, you will be
angered by this conspiracy, and motivated to do something about
the scum who perpetated this hoax. 

{ed A parody of holocaust revisionism, if you didn't notice.}

---------------------------------------------------------------
I hope that you have found the above interesting.  
               		Alan Lustiger AT&T Bell Laboratories ERC, Princeton, NJ
--
Selected by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Do not use the old site of "looking.on.ca" please.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.

[End article]-----------------------------------------------------------


--
Gregg Skinner       I do not speak for any organization.

Newsgroups: talk.religion.misc