From: mhk@HQ.Ileaf.COM (Mark Kaepplein x1517)
Subject: Re: Hetero/bi/homophobia (Was: Lesbian denial)
Reply-To: mhk@HQ.Ileaf.COM (Mark Kaepplein x1517)
Organization: Interleaf, Inc.
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 16:46:28 GMT

In article <1992Jul28.214715.4145@dsg.cs.tcd.ie> cjmchale@dsg.cs.tcd.ie (Ciaran McHale) writes:
> In <1992Jul28.174859.7324@HQ.Ileaf.COM>
> mhk@HQ.Ileaf.COM (Mark Kaepplein x1517) writes:
> >Its usually feelings incongruent with one's identity that provoke such
> >violent actions.
> 
> I hate it when people pull broad, sweeping statements out of thin air.
> (Why do I hate this? Because too often they are incorrect.) Would it be
> possible for you to either back up this claim or restrict yourself to
> arguing from personal experience?

OK, here's one: I've had this image of myself as a good and honest guy.
Then I ended up doing technical network consulting and design in a
presales environment. There was conflict between  necessary behaviour in
a sales environment and me thinking of myself as a good, honest guy.
I modified my self image, allowing for exaggeration and shading of
truth in sales situations...until I got my next job. Actually, modifying
my self image was very freeing. I was then allowed to get into, enjoy,
and (allow myself to try and) succeed as a slimy salesman.

I was quite unhappy in another job because I would not modify my self
image. I was doing post-sales support for buggy network products. The
company was very interested in building short term sales and new
products (so the president could make a tidy sum when the company got
sold). They didn't want to spend any money to fix problems and support
the customers who bought the crap. If I had changed my self image to
allow stringing along cusomers without ever getting working products
to them, I could have been happier there. Instead I was in conflict
with the behaviour the company wanted and my identity.

So, imagine identity hell: A born and raised fundie who's having strong
homoerotic feelings, who God, the church, all his friends and family,
and the 700 club have said are *wrong*. Does he give up his religion
because he's been lead to believe that Christianity and homosexuality
are incompatible?  You know the picture.

Now picture the lesbian who has struggled so hard to come to terms with
and establish an identity as a lesbian, complete with a community of
friends and "family". She's having heteroerotic feelings. Does she
give up her identity and risk losing her friends and family?  Its
a lot like the fundie's scenerio, except she's probably already
given up the fundie church and her friends are a bit more accepting.

The fundie's identity is the only one he's known, while the lesbian's
was hard earned. In either case, giving up the current identity is
hard. If the lesbian community was more inclusive of bi women, adding
shades of grey, then that community's identity would be less clear.
That weakens it. Without homophobia or aids, there would be less for
the gay community to rally around and there wouldn't even be an act-up.
Real or imagined enemyies give groups strength. Khomeni's was the US,
the US's was the USSR, Hitler's was the jews, Greenpeace's is polluters
and whalers, and many have straight white men. Our's is intolerance.

Which all bring me to another point: I don't think bi's will ever have
a community as strong as gay communities. The identity is not as
focused, and the enimies are less clear - who is "us" and who is "them"?
Even speaking with a bisupremist attitude, I think bi's do dilute
gay communities. Ironicly, its tolerance that defocuses group identity.
A strong group identity depends on individual identies kept in line.

Done rambling,
Mark