From: payman@hardy.u.washington.edu (Payman Arabshahi)
Subject: Re: emtehAneh rAnandegi #1.... 
Reply-To: payman@u.washington.edu
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 20:12:49 GMT


Common sense answers to pressing questions! :)

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emtehAneh rAnandegi #1:

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1.  mafhoomeh rangeh ghermezeh cherAgheh rAhnamA-ee cheest?

       alef -  ehteeyAt va kam nemoodaneh sor-at ast.
       beh  -  tavaghof va eesteh kAmel ast.
       dAl  -  harkat va hagheh oboor ast.

1) The mafhoom is very clear: Look around and if no cars
   are approaching, or are doing so at low speed, then
   cross the red light.  If you don't do this you will be
   cordially reminded by a fellow Tehrani driver, (usually
   the one behind you) to "get it moving"!  This reminder
   is usually in the form of a number of loud honks and,
   if that doesn't work, personal persuasion which takes
   place through some shouting (very polite at all times,
   usually the driver recites love poems of hafez for you).

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2.  hengAmeh pArkeh otomobeel dar kenAreh kheeyAbAn hagheh
    taghadom bA vaseeleyeh naghlee-ye-ee ast keh?

	alef -  zoodtar beh mahal reseedeh bAshad.
        beh  -  bA harkat beh jelo mashgooleh pArk kardan bAshad.
        dAl  -  zemneh harkat beh aghab mashgooleh pArk kardan bAshad.


2) This depends on whether you are parking your car at
   a public place or your own designated parking
   spot (Designated Parking Spots (DPS) are easy to spot:
   They usually have a polite reminder of the terrible
   things that could happen to a car that parks there,
   the most favorite terrible thing being flat tires,
   and it is usually you who put this notice there, so
   you read it and feel proud of being so brave and feel
   good of having actual control over at least one aspect
   of your life, namely a piece of asphalt. Of course you
   have to be very firm about this warning and puncture the
   tires of any wheeled vehicle that parks there, even 
   your own from time to time, so the spot gets a  good
   "reputation", if you know what I mean.
   
   Therefore,  if you are parking you beloved car at
   your DPS, then obviously that spot is yours by 
   definition and any soul even looking at the shadow
   cast by that spot does not have the "hagh" to anything
   in this life! So, park to your heart's content. Now, 
   if you are parking your favorite four- wheeled
   vehicle at a public parking place (defined as any spot
   not demarcated by barbed wire or warning signs of
   imminent explosion of car upon parking), then, believe
   it or not the law is still on your side and "hagh-e
   taghadom" is always by you, since 99 times out of a
   hundred you really need that spot so that you can 
   park your car and engage in some life saving activity 
   such as haggling over the price of a watermelon at 
   the fruit seller across the street.

   So all this thing about "harkat be jello" and
   "harkat be aghab", these are all meant by edAreh
   rAhnAmA-ee va rAnandegi to confuse you in this
   exam. In other words, this is a trick question
   so be careful.

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3.  gharAr dAdaneh vaseeleyeh naghleeyeh dar ekhteeyareh shakhseh
    fAghedeh govAhinAmeh?

        alef -  mamnoo ast.
        beh  -  mojAz ast.
        dAl  -  agar mahArat dAshteh bAshad mAneh-ee nadArad.


  
3) Again this depends on who this "shakhs-e fAghed-e
   govAhinAmeh" is. Is she/he your mother in law or father
   in law to be? Then the answer is clearly yes, since
   people who had enough mahArat in bringing into this world 
   the man or woman of your dreams or nightmares, surely
   have enough mahArat to take your car out for a ride
   to BAbolsar. In other words, evaluation of "mahArat"
   has to take place in your brain by answering the
   following simple questions:

   a) Is this person bigger or stronger than me?
   b) Can he/she seriously impair my health?
   c) Can he/she cause other physical/mental damage to
      me or my family or the shohar-khAhar of my wife's
      best friend's second cousin's nephew?
   d) Can he/she be of any use to me, like getting a
      signature for a telephone line to be installed
      in 1997?
   e) Should I be nice today?
   f) If I am nice today, do I have enough insurance to 
      pay for recovery of  the car from the bottom of Karaj Dam 
      should the need arise?
   
   and similar questions ...
  
This informative one on one program has been sponsored by
AAA (emdAd-e otomobil-e iran) and Pepsi, the choice of the
revolutionary generation.


-Payman
Newsgroups: soc.culture.iranian