From: maus@fid.morgan.com (Malcolm Austin)
Subject: The LaserQuiz Answers!!!
Organization: Morgan Stanley & Co., New York, NY
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1992 06:22:49 GMT


I apologize for my tardiness in posting this, but I've been somewhat
plowed under with work.  

I'm afraid I haven't had time to tabulate and rank the entries I have
received.  I know several people are waiting for the answers, though, so I
thought I'd post them now, even though the results aren't yet ready.  If you
want to know your score, feel free to e-mail a request in, and I will
respond immeadiately.  Otherwise, the scores probably won't get out until
Friday.

Judging from the number of entries received, interest in Round Two was not
as great as Round One.  I guess the additional clues were not as helpful
and/or interesting as I had hoped.  Oh, well.

Here is the complete LaserQuiz.  First I include the two rounds of
quotations, in case you lost them or want to pass them along.  Answers are
at the bottom.

ROUND ONE QUOTATIONS

1-1) "Prisney has already done this?"

2-1) "I'm feeling a little 'anxious', if you know what I mean."

3-1) "How do two porcupines make love?  Very carefully."

4-1) "I think we might begin with the one or two Latin terms."

5-1) "My sensory apparatus reveals to me."  
     "Ah, right."  
     "This is fun!"

6-1) "My conclusion was that this idea was not a practical deterrent 
for reasons which, at this moment, must be all too obvious."

7-1) "C'mon and dress me up in liverwurst and Camembert cheese!"

8-1) "We fight for men and women whose poetry is not yet written, 
but which will presently be as enviable and as renowned as any."

9-1) "Are you having a run on the banks there yet?  Well, it's rather 
brutal here.  We're advising our clients to put everything they've got
into canned food and shotguns."

10-1) "You have the cool, clear eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth."

11-1) "And that is the Specific Theory of Relativity.  Isn't it?"  
      "Amazing, but true."
      "Now then, you have to show me your legs!"

12-1) "Is your heart black and full of hate?"
      "Black as midnight, black as pitch.  Blacker than the foulest 
witch."

13-1) "The war starts at midnight, does it?  We attack at six!"

14-1) "Geez, mon, I'm surrounded by amateurs!  If you want something
done, you've got to do it yourself.  First, we've got to create . . .
the mood."

15-1) "I'll make a good Gordon, Gordon."

16-1) "The steel cube was brilliant?"

17-1) "Dear Avid Fan, Inherit my mantle and surpass my achievements."

18-1) "I'm being followed.  Can you do anything about it?"  
     ["Yes, I can."]

19-1) "Do you remember, when you first came here, how you hated
chickens?  How you were sick when you even saw one?  But all that is
over now, for I have shown you how foolish it was, and your cure is
nearly done.  I have taught you to love chickens, to love their flesh,
their voice."

20-1) "Pays his bills prompty with money earned as a costume jewelry 
salesman, wholesale.  Kept to himself.  None of his neighbors got close
to him or his wife."
      "Yeah, well, I think they missed their chance with her."

21-1) "I am that horror."  
      "It's a bit late for apologies, isn't it?"

22-1) "Some kind of prehistoric throwback of an airfield called 
Edwards.  They got some kind of weird, mad monk squadron up here, 
you know?"

23-1) "Here you are, out in the open, where any hep person knows that 
this one is toting that one around for you.  Are we kids or what?"

24-1) "How long?"  
      "Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months.  Time!"
      "Let me give you a few dollars just to tide you over."

25-1) "The warriors in the head then disperse to form the encircling 
horns, and the enemy is drawn in on the loins, and the horns close in 
on the back and sides."


ROUND TWO QUOTATIONS

1-2) "A film in which you will see the music and listen to the 
drawings!"

2-2) "We've come for your daughter, Chuck."

3-2) "She mates and she kills.  Your question is, does she love?"

4-2) "I ended by falling on my knees and pledging my eternal love.  
And you know that, at that time, and for several hours afterwards,
I actually meant it."

5-2) "Why, that would mean that . . . I really don't know what the 
outside universe is like at all for certain."
     "That's it!  That's it!"
     "Intriguing.  I wish I had more time to discuss this matter."

6-2) "With the proper breeding techniques, and a ratio of, say, ten
females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their
way back to the present Gross National Product within, say, twenty 
years."

7-2) "What other instruments are there, pray tell?  Scratchy violins?
Screechy piccolos?  Nauseating trumpets?  Et cetera, et cetera!"

8-2) "If you men will take no pay, then none of us will."

9-2) "We want to be civilized.  I mean, you take a look at this fellow
here. . . . Now, was that civilized?  No, clearly not.  Fun, but in no
sense civilized."

10-2) "Yet there's that upturned chin, and the grin of impetuous 
youth!"

11-2) "Look, could I explain something to you?"
      "Certainly.  What?"
      "The Theory of Relativity."
      "All of it?"
      "No, just the Specific.  The General Thoery's a little bit too
complicated to go into this late, don't you think?"

12-2) "The creature is crowned with a single spiral reaching like an
antenna straight to Heaven."
      "I get the point, Lord."

13-2) "We're going to teach him Total War."
     ["How?"]
      "Capture him.  War starts at midnight, but we're going to bag
him hours before that.  Nazi methods, you know."

14-2) "What would her father say?  I'll tell you what her father'd say!
He'd say he's going to kill himself a crab, that's what her father'd
say!"

15-2) "It's an electric briefcase.  The lock is electric.  I have to
charge it.  Would you have an adapter?"

16-2) "Chapter One.  He was as tough and romantic as the city he loved.
Behind his black-rimmed glasses was the coiled sexual power of a jungle
cat.  (I love this.)  New York was his town, and it always would be."

17-2) "Momentos for you at Baltimore Central, Left Luggage.  Ticket
number 72683."

18-2) "Didn't you hear what I said?  I want to be taken to police
headquarters.  I'm a dangerous assassin.  I'm a mad killer on the
loose."
     ["You ought to be ashamed of yourself."]

19-2) "I was born without earlobes, a well-known congenital distinction
of Bleuchamp ancestry."

20-2) "Important, huh?"
      "Well, it's probably nothing important at all.  It's just a 
little neighborhood murder, that's all." 

21-2) "Yes, that's it.  It's all right when I hear the music."
      "Since you're undoubtably going to hear the music, it's 
undoubtably going to be all right.  The music is all that matters,
and nothing but the music."

22-2) "This individual combines many of the plus factors that we've
mentioned: uh, ease with flames, comfort at heights, and, uh, agility
in the splashdown phase."

23-2) "The day I can't get along without a press agent's handout, I'll
close up shop and move to Alaska, lock, stock, and barrel."

24-2) "The armor, right?  What'd you get for it?"
      "Two hundred marks."
      "You got robbed.  But that happens"

25-2) "No, thanks, I'm a Boer.  The Zulus are the enemies of my blood."


LASERQUIZ ANSWERS (and scoring notes)

Actors are listed as a refernce only.  Scoring is based entirely on movie
title (3 pts) and character(s) (2 pts, with partial credit sometimes).

1-A) ALLEGRO NON TROPPO -- "Presentatore" -- Maurizio Micheli

2-A) BEETLEJUICE -- Betelgeuse -- Michael Keaton

  Here I was very picky about the character's name, which is spelled
  "Betelgeuse".  This appears written down several times in the
  movie, including, of course, during the closing credits.
  "Beetlejuice" for the character's name was worth 4 points.

3-A) BLACK WIDOW -- "Margaret, Rene Walker" -- Theresa Russell

Not Debra Winger, but the other one.  Not Greta Saatchi, either.

4-A) DANGEROUS LIASIONS -- Viscount de Valmont -- John Malkevitch

5-A) DARK STAR -- Bomb 20/Commander Doolittle -- ???/Brian Narelle

6-A) DR. STRANGELOVE -- Dr. Strangelove -- Peter Sellers

7-A) THE 5000 FINGERS OF DR. T -- Dr. Terwilliker -- Hans Conreid

8-A) GLORY -- Robert Gould Shaw -- Matthew Broderick

9-A) GREMLINS 2 -- Brain Gremlin -- Tony Randall

10-A) HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING -- 
J Pierpont Finch -or- Rosemary Pilkington -- Robert Morse, Michele Lee

  Either character is correct since Rosemary sings the song ("I
  Believe In You") first, and Finch reprises it later.

11-A) INSIGNIFICANCE -- Actress/Professor -- Theresa Russell/???

  "Albert Einstein and Marilyn Monroe" was worth only 4 points,
  since the film goes through considerable contortions *not* to
  identify the characters by name.

12-A) LEGEND -- Darkness/Blix -- Tim Curry/Alice Playten

13-A) THE LIFE AND DEATH OF COLONEL BLIMP -- Lt. 'Spud' Wilson -- 
     James McKechnie

  Since I was depressed that no one at all got this one, I awarded
  the person who entered THE LIFE AND TIMES OF COLONEL BLIMPO with a
  full three points.  At least he had clearly seen the movie,
  arguably the most obscure title in the quiz (at least for
  Americans).

14-A) THE LITTLE MERMAID -- Sebastian (the Crab)

15-A) LOCAL HERO -- MacIntyre -- Peter Riegart

16-A) MANHATTAN -- Issac Davis -- Woody Allen

17-A) MANHUNTER -- "Bill" 

  This one was quite tricky, since the quotation is from the *false*
  ad that the FBI is considering placing in the Tattler, and not
  Lector's real message.

18-A) NORTH BY NORTHWEST -- Roger Thornhill -- Cary Grant

19-A) ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE -- Ernst Stefan Blofeld -- 
Telly Savalas

20-A) REAR WINDOW -- Lt. Doyle/L.B. Jeffries -- Wendell Cory/James Stewart

21-A) THE RED SHOES -- Vicki Paige/Lermontov -- Moira Shearer/Anton Walbrook 

  I was stunned and appalled that no one identified this Powell &
  Pressburger masterpiece.  -5 for *everybody*!  (Just kidding.)

22-A) THE RIGHT STUFF -- "Recruiter" -- Harry Shearer

23-A) SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS -- J.J. Hunsacker -- Burt Lancaster

  Another great movie which went unidentified.  Shocking.

24-A) WINGS OF DESIRE -- Peter Falk/Ex-Angel -- Peter Falk/Bruno Ganz

25-A) ZULU -- Adendorff (the Boer scout) -- Gert van der Bergh

-- 
=Malcolm Austin==w:(212)703-6134====h:(914)633-3966===========================
maus@fid.morgan.com    | Great funeral, Mom, but I've got to motor if I'm
#include <disclaimer.h>| going to be ready for the pa^te'.