HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: CompuSnobs (was: Hair)
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 92 18:05:21 GMT

In article <1992Nov4.172713.9132@nsscmail.att.com> cel@nsscmail.att.com
(clayton EDward LEIHY iii) writes:
>Just a few minutes ago, I took out my old K&E slipstick, and
>performed the following computation:
>
>       TWO    > PLUS <    TWO
>
>I got a result of FOUR (am I close??)
>
>HOW DID I DO IT? you want to know ---
>
>On the linear scale, I placed the pointer/slider/crosshair directly
>over the Whole Unit "2".  Then, while audibly counting so as not to
>lose track, I moved said pointer an additional TWO Whole Units.
>
>The readout at that point appeared to be FOUR.
>
>DO I WIN ANYTHING??

Feh.  I suppose you would also advocate buying a BMW, in order to use
its door as a bottle opener.

Peeve:  I can't find the Picket & Eckel sliderule that I bought from
        my high school teacher.

     don "my slide rule's longer than yours" baldwin

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: ...what dreams may come?
Date: 11 Nov 92 15:59:39 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

~In article <27942@castle.ed.ac.uk~ fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
~~
~~I've come across a strange new problem: Injuries sustained whilst
~~sleeping. I wake up, my side hurts, and it feels like there's a huge
~~bruise there for a couple of days.

~Shit!  The exact thing happened to me just the other day.  I think
~there's a conspiracy going on.

~Did she steal your TV, too?

No, but I have a surfeit of odd socks.

Peeve: The Twilight Zone


~c


FoFP
                             _ _
    Watch         |\__/|  .~    ~.
     Out          /  o `./      .'
     For         {o__,   \    {
     The           / .  . )    \
   Squirrels!      `-` '-' \    }
                  .(   _(   )_.'
                 '---.~_ _ _|
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Subject: Re: Sony Store Service !peeve is now a PEEVE
Reply-To: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Organization: Do they make a washing powder called Caliban Automatic?
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 21:45:49 GMT

In article <1992Nov5.080323.8636@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>Peeve: Venting my spleen won't make my discman work.

Try shoving bits of tissue in the lid detecting hole.  Worked on mine
when the bit of plastic that's supposed to slot in broke off...
  __                                ____
\/ o\ Paul Crowley pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk \  /
/\__/ "I'm the boy without a soul"   \/
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Australian peeves
From: 9051467f@levels.unisa.edu.au (The Eidolon)
Date: 8 Nov 92 16:59:48 +1030
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Oh look, a lifeform!

In article <lfdeplINNcbk@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>,
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

> But aren't they the same thing?  I thought New Zealand was a state of
> Australia.

It WAS, sorta, until Federtion in 1901. They didn't join because
of the time it took for communication to take place. There have
been some strange rumours about asking NZ if they want to join
again but I doubt it.


Peeve: people who took me so seriously in the Skinhead thing. Sheesh.
-- 
John J McVey, Whyalla, Uni S. Australia    9051467f@levels.unisa.edu.au
Electronic Engineering student & Terror Tekkie!
Any email can be posted unless I state explicitly otherwise.
+-----------------------------------------------------+    ________
|  Obligatory disclaimer: UniSA hates my opinions...  |  \/Darwin o\
+-----------------------------------------------------+  /\________/
An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it. Marquis
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith)
Subject: Re: Driving with Parking Lights!
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 22:00:49 GMT

	Hey, it's the law in Canada - we have daytime running lights on every
car since 1990.  They must be lit when the car is moving.  I was kinda funny
when the family went to the US last summer and people kept telling Dad that
his lights were on.  But I digress.

	What I hate are those idiot drivers that drive with those #%^&%#&%$^
fog lights on.  On clear nights.  With perfect visibility.  If they're so
blind that they need 2 sets of lights to see, *THEY SHOULDN'T BE ON THE 
ROAD*!!!!!!!!  So, as a result, I leave my high beams on when they go
past.  Most of them are too dense to get the message.

	Sean

-- 
Sean Smith - Dalhousie University               Bill and Opus in '92 in the US!
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada                    Don Cherry for Prime Minister in
01SSMITH@AC.DAL.CA or smith@ug.cs.dal.ca	'93 in Canada!
Disclaimer:  These ideas are mine...ALL MINE!!  'Cause noone else'd want 'em.
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Space Age Outerwear
Date: 12 Nov 92 17:58:51 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1992Nov10.184233.8767@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>
>
>I almost laughed out loud when I read about your notion of an overcoat.  
>Finnish army surplus.  My, what excellent  taste in clothes you have.  
[various sarcastic comments deleted]

Overcoats. Let me tell you about overcoats. They are great for shoplifting
in if you are a kid. You can use it as a lap warmer in a cold house. Its
great for spreading out on the grass for a picnic. Its wonderful for 
clandestine gropings in the movie theater. You can sling it over your
shoulders and arch your eyebrow for that theatrical effect. Its good
for wrapping around small humans who need to be cuddled. It looks elegant
even when ratty and beat up. You can toss it to your host or hostess
for a comical effect, especially if the host or hostess pretends the
thing weighs 4 metric tons. If you stay overnight at a friend's house
and s/he does not have enough blankets, you can use your coat. You
can keep kittens in the large pockets. If the pockets are really big,
you can load them with stuff and have your hands free.

Anyway.

Peeve: Folks who dismiss practical clothing for the sake of a cheap
flame on alt.peeves (not alt.flame, dammit)


--
.. Clinton seems to be capable of staying awake for Cabinet
meetings, and his offspring squeezes pimples instead of little old
ladies' savings accounts... - Carol Osterbrook
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (All of our represanatives are still busy; please continue to hold)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: FratBoyz (Was: A quick biology lesson)
Date: 6 Nov 92 05:03:32 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) toasts dac...

OH GOD JENNY, YOU'RE *SO* BUTCH!
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@lurch.twg.com (Jimmy Audible)
Subject: Re: Predator species
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Audible Society
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 19:38:58 GMT


Re predators, in particular raptors, we got lots of 'em along the Pacific
Coast of the Yewessay.

!Peeve: Raptors. Cooper's hawks, redtails, sundry buzzards, turkey vultures,
condors, peregrine and other sorts of falcons, and the occasional osprey. Love
to watch 'em hunt. Downtown San Francisco has a large flock of peregrines
nesting atop the towers in the Financial district. Office workers can watch
'em culling the pigeon population 30 odd stories above ground. Now and then we
spot an osprey or two fishing at Lake Merced, a freshwater lagoon at the
southwest corner of the city. Whoosh! Splash! Flutter! And awaaaaay we go with
a nice fat bass,  up into the pines across the road.

--
Nolan "Man enough to do woman's work" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Don't get jealous, Elaine. Get a dick!" Bill Berbenich, in alt.peeves

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: drinckes@nzl.abk.nec.co.jp (Doug Rinckes)
Subject: Re: fucking BDI motorcycle drivers
Reply-To: drinckes@nzl.abk.nec.co.jp
Organization: Telecommunications Systems Support Centre, New Zealand
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 20:47:02 GMT


In article 5831@catnip.berkeley.ca.us, dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (All of our represanatives are still busy; please continue to hold) writes:
>Scene: moi, driving home in traffic on the Lawrence expressway.  BDI
>	motorcycle driver five feet off of my bumper, bright light
>	shining right in my rear-view mirror.
>I tap the brakes, re-adjust my rear-view mirror, the dumb-assed guy
>is still 5' off of my rear bumper.
>So I do the next thing in my "back off" program: slow down.
>Cars are passing us at about 50MPH [the speed limit].
>I take my foot off of the petal and let the car slow from 40 to 25.
>More cars pass us with plenty of space for the BDI to get out from
>behind me.  
>Guy is still on my bumper.
>I put my foot on the brake, lightly of course.
>Slow to 20.
>BDI motorcycle driver then finally decides to pass me, looking at me
>as if I'm crazy.
>What is he wearing?
>
>	1. a full-faced helmet.  we have a helmet law here in california.
>	2. sneakers
>	3. cloth pants
>	4. cloth jacket

Congratulations.  You found an idiot.  What do you want, a medal?

Would you like all us bikers/motorcyclists to post whenever a car driver
(cager/tin top) slacks us off?

What danger were you in?  None.  What danger was the rider in?  Heaps,
all of their own making, granted.  Here, if you want someone to overtake,
you usually pull over - or is that too obvious?

Chill out dude.

Doug Rinckes  drinckes@nzl.abk.nec.co.jp | My companys opinions are like
TSSC New Zealand    DoD#: 741            | my companys cars - they don't
1976 BMW R100S + 41mm Dell'Ortos         | like me using either of them.

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: Liberal Toadies
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 16:02:36 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <5833@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (All of our represanatives are still busy; please continue to hold) writes:

>thurlow@convex.com (Rob "I flunked Civics class in Jr. High" Thurlow) writes:

>>  Does
>>anyone else get sick to their stomach when they hear Bush whining
>>about Congress not letting him Do Things after being so decisive in
>>the Gulf Conflict?

>Hm, could it be due to the fact that the armed forces are directed by
>the executive branch?

Could you show me where in the Constitution the President was granted
control of the United Nations and the military organizations of other
nations?  I can't seem to find that section.

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"I get so tickled debunking bad personal philosophy." - Milquetoast
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rint69@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (rintoul bradley e)
Subject: Juicy Wuicy Burger
Summary: silly
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 19:46:10 GMT
Keywords: hate

I hate stupid names that fast food joints and other
food serving places give to some of their items. For
example IHOP's celebrated Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n' Frooty
stuff, and many others that I forgot a second after I
ordered it. Anyone with any names they remember that
they felt like a stooge ordering? 

Could be worth a chuckle.

Brad


Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: sick and dying
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 92 22:43:17 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <1992Nov6.010353.26681@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>OK, so I'm not really dying - I just want to... 
>
>After a few minutes of that I was
>weak as a limp dishtowel, and actually had to cancel a trip to the
>shooting range later in the day.
	Wow! This is serious. Can I get a count of how many of you
will be coming into town for the funeral?

-- 
Chris Baldwin                | Once again, Russ has saved the day through the 
baldwin@carina.unm.edu       | proper use of high explosives.  
                             |		 -Dan Sorenson
"Is it just a coincidence that aliens always choose to abduct stupid people?" 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: movie credits
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 21:47:10 GMT

Something which peeves the dickens out of me sometimes is the way movie
credits are presented, over a long period of time, with every Tom, Dick,
and Harry who had anything to do with the movie called out before the
actual name of the movie. Sometimes it takes several minutes to get to the
title.

Why does it peeve me? Well, because I'm channel searching, and I see a
movie just starting, and don't want to dig out the TV guide and look up
the movie name. I'm trying to make a *real time* decision here! So I can
either put down the remote or get back to channel jumping. I need to do
this within the next couple of seconds, if you don't mind.

What's worse is coming across the END of a flick and waiting for the
really long list of credits at the end, including every damn song it had
in it.

BTW, what is it about channel searching that pisses women off so bad? A
woman with a TV remote control reminds me of a girl with a baseball bat -
they just flat-assed don't know how to operate the thing!

Two years after we bought a VCR, the CO still can't figure out how to
program it or even just turn it on to record her Woman Tale on the Woman
Channel. It burns her up, and she keeps asking where the instructions are,
even though she has never even bothered to read them. (It ain't easy being
married to a 'lectronic genius, I reckon!)

Don't get me wrong. I *love* women. I'm just mystified by 'em.

   (..)
    ~~
L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Because the plot demands: an EVIL man!
From: russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: sick and dying
Date: 7 Nov 92 03:57:53 GMT
Organization: /etc/organization

In article <6x+q33p@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
>In article <1992Nov6.010353.26681@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>>OK, so I'm not really dying - I just want to... 
>>
>>After a few minutes of that I was
>>weak as a limp dishtowel, and actually had to cancel a trip to the
>>shooting range later in the day.
>	Wow! This is serious. Can I get a count of how many of you
>will be coming into town for the funeral?

Careful, Baldwin, I'm on some interesting and creative pharmaceuticals
and I  k n o w  w h e r e  y o u  l i v e.

The cold was sortof gone thins morning, leaving an aching band of pain
around my chest from the coughing.  There was some residual pain in my
head, but I figured it was the stress of attempting to edit code in vi
on a 2400 baud line.

By noon the pain in my head was clearly not stress related, and a
secondary infection.  No matter, a bit longer on the psuedoephedrine
and the 'ol sinuses should dry out.  I wandered the town, flushed,
fevered and searching for some AP ammo for a project I'm doing (and
likely made a *great* impression!).  I made it home about 5PM, some 3
hours after I'd called my wife and mentioned that I was leaving the
office and was likely to do a couple of errands on the way home.

I was OK, a bit disoriented (I *like* it that way - 2.5 ton truck with
a normally disoriented driver - typical New mexico).  I headed back to
my study to handle email, read the paper and generally unwind.  All
was well, I was in pain (if a dentist caused my this much pain I'd
kill him in a flash) but I'd had worse - until my wife came into the
study behind me and brutally attacked me.  Well, ok, she actually
started to rub my neck as a kind gesture, but the pain from that was,
well, intense.  A bit worse than the time we rebroke my radius and
ulna and reset them with no anesthetic other than the shock (Ob macho
line).

So, there I sat, reading alt.peeves and in pain (hmmm - not too
uncommon for many readers, I think) and Judy insists on my heading out
to the urgent care folks.  An hour wait, 5 minutes with the doctor and
I'm outta there, clutching in my pain enfeebled hand a magic talisman
for "Amoxicil 250mg <mumble>" and some unidentifiable pain medication
(not class II - damn!) and $34 poorer.

One bright note: I found a relatively new copy of Smithsonian magazine
in the waiting room with the article on Jan Brunvand of the Urban
Legend.  Cute article, I think that the author read the
alt.folklore.urban FAQ and used it as a crib sheet.

I wonder just what and how much I bought on my afternoon shopping trip?

-- 
Russ Kepler, posting from home   bbxrbk!russ@bbx.basis.com
Will hack unix for food
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Medical terminology (was: Peevetown General Hospital: Take 3)
Date: 10 Nov 92 14:19:00 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <BxH7Eu.JuE@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu>, pmmuggli@midway.ecn.uoknor.edu  (pauline muggli) writes:
|> 
|> peeve: nurses/doctors who say, "this is going to sting a little bit."

What the medical person says:              Translation:
----------------------------               -----------

"This may sting a little"                  "This will feel like your skin
                                            has been laid open with a cheese
                                            grater and salt is being rubbed
                                            into it."

"You may feel a little pressure here."     "This will feel like a flatbed
                                            truck loaded with Jell-o pudding
                                            is rolling over your chest."

"You have rolling veins."                  "I'm really getting off on poking
                                            you with this needle until you
                                            pass out from loss of blood."

"Just a minute more..."                    "Our receptionist has asked for
                                            revenge because you took 20
                                            minutes of her time to fill out
                                            your insurance forms. Maybe *next*
                                            time there's an emergency, you'll
                                            think ahead and have your entire
                                            financial history at your
                                            fingertips."

"Let me get the results of this test       "I'm gonna go to lunch and maybe
 and I'll be right back."                   a quick 9 holes of golf. I'll be
                                            back by 3:00."

"Get undressed and put on this gown."      "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
 
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|I daydreamed that I was falling and just before I |
|hit the ground, I fell asleep.                    |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (All of our represanatives are still busy; please continue to hold)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Legends (Was: Harpoon 'em if they can't take a joke)
Date: 6 Nov 92 04:58:41 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:


>	I mean, heck, those cowboy boots & snap shirts...that's
>	standard issue gear from the New Mexico Foreign Image
>	office.

And it's so much easier to wear them after your wife has ravaged you.
-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: President (teehee) Clinton
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 92 14:49:08 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <1992Nov5.100246.26385@merlin.comlab.ox.ac.uk> library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell) writes:
>In article <92Nov04.153415.21346@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
>>Antipeeve: I get to watch the "evil empire" decay and crumble.
>>Peeve: Canada is just a wee bit to close, geographically and
>>       economically, for comfort.
>>
>>Regards, Charles
>
>Didn't I hear on the BBC last week that Canada, in fact, no longer exists?

Probably, but it's more a comment on the reporting standards and
editorial integrity of BBC than anything else.

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Halfwits.
Date: 9 Nov 1992 00:49:40 GMT
Organization: UC Berkeley CS Dept.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

Peeve: Halfwits.

Specifically, the halfwits at ac.dal.ca.  What is it with
this place?  Is it some kind of remedial community college
for the deformed children of alcoholic Eskimos?  What do
they teach, walrus harpooning?

Because when Mikey came on, I thought he had to be the
scunge at the bottom of the barrel.  Someone bribed the
admissions director, I thought, slipped him a couple
of seal livers under the table, and thus are we afflicted
with this helpless reject.

But now we have a couple of other snow apes trying to climb
out of the same pit, and it appears Mikey is a regular
valedictorian.  Of sorts.

I mean, it's understandable that these here Eskimos are unable
to express themselves interestingly, or even grammatically, in
the English language.  That much is expected.  Hell, even most
Americans can't.

But to be able to miss the difference between their posts and
the usual standard of expression on alt.peeves?  This isn't
funny anymore.  We're talking serious _illiteracy_ now.
And, as the National Campaign for Adult Literacy puts it,
"Illiteracy is not a joke."

In fact, it kind of reminds me of the ill-fated Soton net.cabal.

Does anyone know what happened to those guys, anyway?  Have
they finished decontaminating the crater yet?

c
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,talk.religion.misc
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Songs of Solomon Peeve
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 19:02:52 GMT


Recently My Problem Older Woman became TOTALLY confused about
the reason that the Erotica which is the Songs of Solomon was
included in the bible.

After trying to show her that it is a FALSE dichotomy to
oppose Spirituality and Sexuality, as well as resolving
many of the falacious arguments about Pauline Theology,
She concluded that it was Time to Be 'Spiritual' with me.

Sex, Sex, Sex!

that's all they think about.

ciao
drieux


-- 
Modern Day Problems:

just because you may NOT have root on your machine
does not mean I do NOT have root on my machine!!!!