From: EMN002@email.mot.com (Mary Beth Northrup)
Subject: Re: "Missing out" (was. re:  Justin...)
Organization: Motorola, Inc. Plantation, FL
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 16:59:26 GMT

In article <eaa-010992102358@smac-eaa.doc.ic.ac.uk>, eaa@doc.ic.ac.uk (Liz Attree) writes:
> 
> 
> On reading various responses to Justin's birth story, some people have said
> that they felt they "missed out" on the experience of giving birth by
> having C-sections or epidurals.
> 
   (deleted)
> 
> So many people say there is nothing more fulfilling than having a vaginal
> birth and pushing your baby out in to the world.  If I am lucky enough to
> have a second, I wonder if "missing out" first time round will make me
> refuse an epidural again, just so that I can experience childbirth.  I
> would hate to be in a situation where I got frightened by the pain and then
> found I was too far advanced to have any pain relief.  I'm not hugely brave
> and would not like to anticipate giving birth without knowing help is
> available if I couldn't cope.  Or is it really that important?  Isn't
> having the child in your arms afterwards fulfilling enough, however they
> made their entry into the world?  
> 
> Anyone have any thoughts on this?
> 
> 
> 
> Liz Attree (eaa@doc.ic.ac.uk)
> 
> 
I can really appreciate the feeling of "missing out" My story is -- 

I felt absolutely great my entire pregnancy and was your
typical low-risk first-time mom. However, my due date came and went - and 
no baby! Biophysical profile was fine 1 wk after due date, but was 
"unsatisfactory"  12 days post due date. So my OB sent me to the
hospital for a stress test. They decided to keep me and induce labor. Not
long after the pitocin drip started (mild contractions 5 min or so apart,
not painful), the baby's heartbeat took a nosedive down to 60 beats per min
and stayed for a few minutes while everyone worked frantically to get it back
up. My Dr. started talking C-section then, but since everything stabilized
decided to try inducing VERY slowly and monitor the next morning as it was
getting late.

They kept me on the monitor all night (I sent my husband home to sleep) and
about 5:30 am the baby's heartbeat dropped again for about 5 min (not related
to a contraction). His heart rate came back up finally and stabilized and
I was prepped for an emergency C-section. I begged for an epidural so I could
be awake and they tried one, but it didn't take. So, I ended up with a general
and missed the whole thing! (Sean's Apgars were 8 and 9, he was perfectly 
healthy with no sign of distress) My recovery was uneventful, I was up and
around the next day and discharged within 3 days.

Even though it's been 14 mo, I still feel greatly disappointed that I missed
my son's birth. I had read everything I could get my hands on during my
pregnancy and was really psyched up for a minimal intervention birth. I even
wrote up a birth plan to give to my OB. But, when the time came, everything
was taken completely out of my control. Of course, the baby's health is of
paramount importance and I am very happy that I have a perfect, healthy,
and beautiful son. Yet, I still have very mixed feelings about the whole
experience. I still wonder if the C-section was *really* necessary (I read
later that the hospital I delivered in has a 40% C-section rate!) I'm
disappointed that my body didn't do what it was supposed to do (ie, go into
labor!!). Yet, what would have happened if the hospital staff hadn't been so
on the ball? Would Sean have suffered oxygen deprivation that could have
caused some sort of brain damage, or worse? Fortunately, we'll never know.

If/when we have a second child I very much want the experience to be
different, but am not sure just what I could do differently (except go to a
another hospital!).

Sorry this is so long, it feels good to get it off my chest.

Mary Beth Northrup
(mommy to Sean, 14 mo)