From: tim@ear-ache.mit.edu (Tim Wilson)
Subject: "Cheepnis" (was Re: mystery TV series (was Childhood Misting))
Followup-To: alt.tv.mst3k
Keywords: imagine a world without poodles
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
	<Dec.28.18.45.19.1992.17249@pilot.njin.net>
	<karpen-311292113012@shiva4175.nrl.navy.mil>
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 14:44:38 GMT

In article <karpen-311292113012@shiva4175.nrl.navy.mil> karpen@nrlfs1.nrl.navy.mil (Judy Karpen) writes:

   < some stuff, and then ... >

   Hey, anyone remember the Frank Zappa song about cheapness? Very apropos for
   MST3K! What's the title?

   Judy Karpen                "pushing back the frontiers of science"
   karpen@nrlfs1.nrl.navy.mil 

Cheepnis 
by Frank Zappa
(C) 1974 Munchkin Music (as of 1974), used without permission
on *Roxy and Elsewhere* (which Ryko has probably re-released on CD)

(_<stuff>_ = bold font <stuff>, spoken)
(<STUFF> = all caps <stuff>, recorded at half speed, so you
   get that cheepnis kind've chipmunk effect, unless it's
   just there for EMPHASIS)

I ate a hot dog
It tasted real good
Then I watched a movie
From Hollywood

(repeat)

Little Miss Muffett on a squat by me
Took a turn around, I said:  _Can y'all see?_
The little strings on the Giant Spider?
The Zipper From The Black Lagoon?
The vents by the tanks where the bubbles go up?
(And the flaps on the side of the moon)

The jelly & paint on the 40 watt bulb
They use when the slime droozle off
The rumples & the wrinkles in the cardboard rock
And the canvas of the cave is too soft

The suits & the hats & the tie's too wide
And too short for the scientist man
The chemistry lady with the roll-away mind
And the monster just ate Japan

_Ladies and gentlemen,
_The monster,
_Which the peasants in this area call FRUNOBULAX
_(Apparently a very large poodle dog)
_Has just been seen approaching The Power Plant
_Bullets can't stop it
_Rockets can't stop it
_We may have to use NUCLEAR FORCE!_

HERE COMES THAT POODLE DOG!
BIG AS A BLIMP WITH A RHINESTONE COLLAR
SNAPPIN' OFF THE TREES
LIKE THEY WAS BONSAI'D ORNAMENTS ON A
   DRY-WOBBLE LANDSCAPE
KEEP IT AWAY!  DON'T LET THE POODLE BITE ME!
WE CAN'T LET IT REPRODUCE!  OH!
SOMEBODY GET OUT THE PANTS!

_The National Guard has formed up at the base
   of the mountain
_And is attempting to lure the enourmous poodle
   toward the cave
_Where they hope to destroy it with napalm
_A thousand of the troopers are now lined up
_and are calling to the monster...
_Here Fido
_Here Fido
_Here Fido_

GOT A GREAT BIG SLIMEY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HEAVY THING
GOT A GREAT BIG POODLE THING
GOT A GREAT BIG HAIRY THING

(repeat)

_C'mon!  Everybody!  Let's go!
_Get the distilled water!  Get the canned goods!
_Get the toilet paper!  You know we need it!_

GO TO DA SHELTER
MY BABY, MY BABY,
GO TO DA SHELTER
GO TO DA SHELTER

(repeat)

Little Miss Muffett on a squat by me,
Can ya see the little strings danglin' down
Makes the legs go wobble and th' mouth flop shut
An' the HORRIBLE EYE, HORRIBLE EYE, HORRIBLE EYE
Go rollin' around

Can y'see it at all
Can y'see it from here
Can y'laugh till yer weak on yer knees
If you can't, I'm sorry 'cause that's
   all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please
Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know
I need a little more cheepnis please

(etc. repeats)


--
Tim Wilson
tim@ear-ache.mit.edu
mit-eddie!mit-athena!tim