From: mmoss@csws5.ic.sunysb.edu ()
Subject: STORY: Journal of the Idiots, Chapter 3(b)
Originator: mmoss@csws5.ic.sunysb.edu
Organization: State University of New York at Stony Brook
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 23:36:33 GMT


Remember, kiddies, this is a continuation of part A of chapter 3. It was a very
long session, so it was broken into two parts.


-----------------
Chapter 3, Part B
-----------------

From last time, the characters were unable to decide how they could get out
of the city alive and unseen, so they decided to risk staying for a while, in
hopes that Battia's information was purely rumor. Noname heads off, going
to the school where she originally studied, in hopes to find an old teacher
who remembers her and won't turn her in. As she leaves, her face shifts once
again to someone else.

Battia leaves, in hopes to find more information, such as how much time they
have before they must leave. With a grim look on her face, she departs.

The guards about town don't seem to be actively searching for the escaped
prisoners. Battia attempts to gain more information by walking up to a guard
and speaking to him. The guard looks straight out.


Battia:		Hello. Nice day, isn't it?

Guard:		Grr.

Battia:		I heard about the prisoners escaping last night. Do you think
		they'll be caught?

Guard:		Naw, don't worry 'bout it. No trouble.

Battia:		So you caught these troublemakers?

Guard:		Nope.

Battia:		Well, I wish you luck. (she leaves)

Guard:		Stupid wench...


Meanwhile, Noname has reached her school of magics, in search of Professor
Strider Schnitzel. The school is quite different from when Noname last
attended. The school has grown quite a bit, and there is now a wall circling
the complex. Noname has approached the front gate, which is no longer a gate,
but a simple archway. A cheerful looking guard, not quite as heavily armored
as the other town guards, quietly watches the entrance.

As Noname tries to enter the place, she is held back by some invisible barrier
and she cannot pass through the archway. Confused slightly, she steps back and
calls out to the guard.


Noname:		'Lo there!

Guard:		G'day.

Noname:		I'm looking for Professor Strider.

Guard:		(not thinking a common wench could be...) You're a student of
		Professor Strider???

Noname:		No, I'm the apprentice to a former student of his. I seek his
		audience.

Guard:		You may speak with him if you can enter.

Noname:		I can't. I seem to be unable to enter. I simply seek to speak
		with the professor.

Guard:		You can speak with Professor Stider only if you are inside.


Frustrated, Noname starts trying every conceivable way to enter locked places
as described in any player's handbook. She takes a couple steps left, and
facing the wall, steps forward. One point of damage from banging her head into
the wall.


Noname:		I don't suppose you could call Professor Strider to come here?

Guard:		You obviously haven't been here before, so I must inform you
		of the one rule. It's very simple and not meant to be harmful
		in any way. It is: in order to talk or study in here you must
		be in here. Call it a test if you will. It has discouraged
		many a fine folk before you.


Noname pauses to look at the situation again. Then, after muttering a few
words, she becomes invisible. Then she turns into a hawk and flies up above
the walls. She still can't get it. She flies backwards and can't get in.
Coming back down and turning back into an elf, she walks backwards into the
arch and cannot get through.


Guard:		Nice trick. Cute how you changed into a hawk.

Noname:		(still invisible and wondering) Yeah... yeah... isn't it?


At this Noname cancels all her spells, and appears as she truly is.


Noname:		I say, this place sure has changed a bit.

Guard:		Yes, this is a recent addition. Allows us to be a bit more
		selective in our students.


Noname puts her equipment down and tries to walk through. (bounce) She walks
around to the sides of the places, tries walking throuh in a couple of places.
Doesn't work. She goes back to the front arch, stands on her hands, tries
to go through, bounce, falls, ouch. She tries jumping through the arch, bounce,
fall, ouch. She closes her eyes, boune.


Godzilla:	Ho, ho ho... old Jedi mind trick.


Meanwhile, it is now about 1:00 pm in the afternoon. Battia prepares to leave
to find some general equipment.


Kyo:		(still in a bit of pain from before) Can you find me a healing
		potion?

Battia:		I'll get you a healing potion, just reimburse me later.

Godzilla:	Fish! (he also points to his uncovered sword)

Kyo:		He seems to want a scabbard.

Battia:		I'll try. (she leaves)


Battia leaves and wanders for quite a while, looking for a general store.


Godzilla:	K-mart.

Kyo:		Magic potions, $3.99.

Godzilla:	Blue light special!


She cannot find a 13th century K-mart, but first finds a small weapon shop.
A burly man steps away from an anvil and walks to the street table.


Shopkeeper:	Whaddya need?

Battia:		I need 10 arrows, one scabbard, and healing potions.

Shopkeeper:	Does it look like I sell healing potions? You want weapons?
		I got weapons.....

Battia:		Ok, a scabbard and 10, no actually, 20 arrows.

Shopkeeper:	Scabbard and arrows would be 6 guilder.

Battia:		(looking around) You got any short swords?

Shopkeeper:	I got a nice one here. (pulls a recently finished one off the
		back table) This is one crown.

Battia:		Fine. (hands him 1 crown 6, way too much for what he got)
		I wish you well. (she leaves)

Shopkeeper:	Hey Chris, we made a killing today! Those stupid bastards....


Battia returns and gives the scabbard to Godzilla. She happens to notice that
Kyo's facial hair has grown completely back.


Battia:		Looks like you need another shave.

Kyo:		Huh?

Godzilla:	(happy) Battia.

Battia:		Godzilla.


Battia heads back out in search of healing stuffs. She quickly finds one
selling potions. She heads to the first one. A man stands behind a street
table covered with bottles of all shapes and colors, holding liquids of
equal strangeness. He looks like.....


All:		Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious!

Battia:		G'day sir.

Shopkeeper:	(in a bad Irish accent) G'day. What would you be needing?

Battia:		I need some magic potions; specifically a healing potion.

Shopkeeper:	A healing potion, eh?

Battia:		Four of them.

Shopkeeper:	Four healing potions, eh? That would be 100 crown.

Battia:		100 crowns? I would say 20 crowns.

Shopkeeper:	Bye-bye!

Battia:		60 crowns!

Shopkeeper:	Bye!

Battia:		85 crowns!

Shopkeeper:	Try 95 crown....

Battia:		90 crowns!

Shopkeeper:	Fine! 90 crown..... (he takes out four bottles) The money
		please....

Battia:		(checking her pockets) Whoops! Only 30 crowns...

Shopkeeper:	(upset a bit, takes back the bottles)

Battia:		Ok, how much for three?

Shopkeeper:	80 crown!

Battia:		That's still too much..... how much for just one?

Shopkeeper:	(sigh) 40 crown.

Battia:		How about 20 crowns?

Shopkeeper:	20 crown? It costs more than that measly sum to make! Look, I
		can be parting with it for 35 crown. No less.

Battia:		I can only give you 25 crowns.

Shopkeeper:	Sorry, can't do for 25.


Battia gives up and leaves. She quickly is able to find another store of
potions.


Battia:		G'afternoon sir.

Shopkeeper:	Yes! Whaddya need??

Battia:		I just need....

Shopkeeper:	We got potions! Lots of potions! Red potions! Green potions!
		Blue potions! Purple potions! Phials of healing liquids and
		LOVE potions!.....

Battia:		Healing potion! I need a healing potion!

Shopkeeper:	.....lots of love potions, philters, drinks. Whaddya need??

Battia:		I need....

Shopkeeper:	Need something to give you luck? Strength?

Battia:		HEALING!

Shopkeeper:	Do you need some POISON??!?

Battia:		I need a HEALING POTION!!!!

Shopkeeper:	You need a potion to be fixing that limp of yours?

Battia:		Yeah. (hoping for a healing potion)

Shopkeeper:	You do? Well, we don't have any. Sorry.

Battia:		So, in other words, you don't have any healing potions at all.

Shopkeeper:	Oh, healing potions! Yeah, we got healing potions. Lots of 'em.
		Yup yup yup ......

Battia:		All I need from you is one potion.

Shopkeeper:	Ah. 50 crowns. It's... ah... very nice one.

Battia:		50 crowns? Does it work?

Shopkeeper:	Oh, it's worth it. 50 crowns.


Battia shrugs and leaves. She gives up heads back. Since then, Kyo has turned
invisible and left to do the same thing. Kyo notices Battia heading back.


Kyo:		Hey, Battia. How much were the healing potions?


Unfortunately, Kyo has forgotten where he was. The crowd surrounding him
begins screaming and running, wondering where this voice from nowhere has
come from. Several run towards the guards in desperation. Battia steps into
a nearby place to keep away from everyone, and Kyo, still invisible, heads on.
The guards come back and dismiss the people back to normalacy.

Battia has stepped into a bar, and looking for some more information about
their situation, goes over to the bartender to see if he knows anything.


Bartender:	Oh, just the everyday buying, drinking, eating, selling.
		What more could you expect?

Battia:		I'm just wondering more about those escaped prisoners.

Bartender:	Really? I didn't know that. Thanks for the info.

Battia:		(a little frustrated, she leaves for home)


Meanwhile, back at the school, Noname once again dons her guise as a common
wench and prepares to leave. It is late afternoon, and she is tired from trying
all afternoon to get in.


Guard:		Leaving already?

Noname:		Yeah... I'm afraid I ought to. My master won't be pleased
		about this.

Guard:		Too bad. So simple too.

Noname:		I'm sure it is, but...

Guard:		Well, good luck.


Noname leaves.


At about the same time, Kyo, unseen, is looking around the magic shops. He
finds a dark corner and turns visible. However, he is wearing a large cloak
to hide some of his more distinctive features. The common folk tend to move
away from him as he moves down the streets. He moves to a table with several
bottles on it.


Kyo:		I was a victim of a magical experiment. I would like a
		healing potion. How much for a healing potion?

Shopkeeper:	Healing potions, huh? You know, we got some love potions,
		luck potions, green potions....

Kyo:		I WANT A HEALING POTION!!! ARGH!!!

Shopkeeper:	No.. no need to get furious. We got lots of potions....

Kyo:		And I want a fuzz-buster potion?

Shopkeeper:	Huh?

Kyo:		I got a beard all over my face!

Shopkeeper:	(yells into back) Hey Chris! Bring out that potion of
		face-stripping!

Kyo:		Face-stripping!???!?

Shopkeeper:	(turns back) Now, you need a healing potion. 50 crowns.
		It's a very good healing potion.

Kyo:		How 'bout a price of 30?

Shopkeeper:	Good year, too.

Kyo:		How about a price of 30?

Shopkeeper:	30 crowns won't get it.

Kyo:		How do I know it works?

Shopkeeper:	Guaranteed or your money back, here at Crazy Eddie's!

Kyo:		Thanks, I'll be back....


Kyo leaves, and heads down the street to another shop. He enters, leaves. Goes
to another one. He tries several potion shops. Until.....


Shopkeeper:	(in a sort of Mexican-Cajun accept) Now, whatcha be needin'?

Kyo:		Healing potion.

Shopkeeper:	Wha?

Kyo:		Healing potion.

Shopkeeper:	Speak up!

Kyo:		(grabs the man's ear) HEALING POTION!!!!

Shopkeeper:	AAAWWW!!!! Not so loud, man....! (pause) Ok, we got a healing
		potion, a very nice healing potion.... 45 crowns.

Kyo:		45 crowns?

Shopkeeper:	Best healing potion on dissa side of da city.

Kyo:		The guy next door had it for 40, and he claimed his was better.

Shopkeeper:	Aw... I try his before, and his ain't worth nuthin'.

Kyo:		Yeah? Well, my brother tried yours before and it didn't quite
		work.

Shopkeeper:	Oh, you gots one already? Very nice one....

Kyo:		(arghs) Well, I heard that the going rate was for 30... You're
		a ripoff.

Shopkeeper:	No no no... like I said, best potion on dis side of da city.

Kyo:		What guarantees me that this is the best potion?

Shopkeeper:	Whaddya talkin' about, "gar-un-tee"?

Kyo:		You guarantee that this is the best in the city?

Shopkeeper:	Whaddya talkin' about gar-un-tee?

Kyo:		That's what you said.

Shopkeeper:	Naw I didn't. I did not make any gar-un-tee.

Kyo:		Then why do you say this is the best one?

Shopkeeper:	Because it is, I know. I know, man, its da secret ingredient.

Noname:		Tabasco?

All:		(die laughing)

Shopkeeper:	Now, do ya need a potion or what?

Kyo:		Not at that price.

Shopkeeper:	Eh... 'ell, I do hope ya have a nice day.

Kyo:		Thanks...


Kyo leaves and looks around to find another store. It's getting pretty late in
the afternoon, and Kyo's mighty upset at this point. It takes him a while to
find another one, however, down a side street, he finds a table covered with
bottles filled with all sorts of colored liquids. A man stands behind it with
his back to Kyo.


Kyo:		Uhm... I'm looking for a healing potion.

Shopkeeper:	(turns around) Ah yes, healing potion. Let's see.


The shopkeeper examines several bottles finally picking up one in each hand.
He first points to the one in his left hand.


Shopkepeer:	Well, this one here works well. It's 20 crowns.

Kyo:		20 crowns.

Shopkeeper:	(about the other bottle) Or, we've got this nice one here. Very
		strong one, it's 80 crowns.

Kyo:		What's the difference?

Shopkeeper:	Well, I'm glad you asked that. The 20 crowns potion will heal
		you a little bit. The 80 crowns potion, though.....

Kyo:		.... will heal me completely?

Shopkeeper:	Depends on how hurt you are.

Noname:		Depends on what you looked like before the accident.

Kyo:		What do you mean by a little? The 20 crowns one...

Shopkeeper:	Well, if you're hurt a little bit, it heals a little bit.

Kyo:		And if you're hurt a lot?

Shopkeeper:	It heals a little bit.

Kyo:		In proportion?

Shopkeeper:	Well, it varies from dosage to dosage.

Godzilla:	Mayyy-be something bad. Mayyy-be something good.

Kyo:		How about this: I take this potion and give you at least 5, and
		I'll pay you the difference what I think it's worth, and how
		much it cures me.

Shopkeeper:	(angered) Yeah, use my potion, then you run off, and I'm stuck
		with just 5 crowns!!!

Kyo:		(shows him 20 crowns) Look, I have it here. You'll get at least
		5 crowns, and if I feel it's worth it, I'll give you the rest.

Shopkeeper:	Oh, believe me, it's easily worth 20 crowns.

Kyo:		That's your opinion, not mine.

Shopkeeper:	Well, I don't give up my potions.

Kyo:		The money's here, so if I do run away, the money is yours.

Shopkeeper:	Well, if you take the potion, the money's mine.

Kyo:		No.

Shopkeeper:	Then you aren't taking the potion!

Kyo:		Fine... bye!


Kyo is quite tired from wandering the streets and yelling at shopkeepers, so
he heads for Kyato's place.

At this time, Noname has given up on trying to enter her old school. She dons
her magical disguise and starts walking away.


Guard:		Leaving? Well, g'evening to you, m'lady. I hope you do come
		back and try again.

Noname:		(frustrated) Well, I may.


Being late in the evening, they settle down to eat and sleep, with only some
recent wisdom from Kyato on their brains.


Kyato:		Shit happens. Go to sleep.


-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matthew David Moss				mmoss@ic.sunysb.edu
	"Chaos is fun. Order is for those       mmoss@ccmail.sunysb.edu
         don't know where there things are."
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp,rec.games.frp.misc