HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: MAHER@agvax2.ag.ohio-state.edu (Cynthia Maher)
Subject: Re: When did you feel "grown-up"  (was: Re: maternity linger
Organization: The Ohio State University - OCES
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 10:14:12 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.24

I think the first time I really felt grownup was when I was 23.  I was in a
carryout buying wine, and I had a friend's eight-year-old daughter with me.  I
had *never* bought liquor before without getting asked for my i.d.  However,
this time the clerk said, "Oh, I know you're over twenty-one, with a daughter
that old."  (I would have had to have been 14-15 when I got pregnant!)

Of course, at 36 I still don't feel old :).

Cindy
From: peac@sybase.com (Jeff Peacock)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: praise vs encouragement?
Date: 12 Oct 92 15:55:32 GMT
Organization: Sybase, Inc.

In article <9210061531.AA01468@fieser.brynmawr.edu> chirlian@fieser.brynmawr.edu (L.E. Chirlian) writes:
>
>	I've been thinking about this subject (praise vs
>encouragement) recently.  I feel that it is important to do things for
>personal satisfaction and not just because someone says "good job".
>This is not a really big issue for me directly yet, but I can see it
>coming up really soon.  I'm interested in hearing how other people
>handle encouragement/praise.
>	Thanks for any info....
>				Lisa
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Lisa Chirlian                                  chirlian@fieser.brynmawr.edu
> Department of Chemistry, Bryn Mawr College, Bryn Mawr, PA 19010
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Theoretically I agree, but it also burns me up when I work hard on something,
or even just consistently do a good job, and never hear a word of recognition.

My wife is working for someone who seems unable to use the word "like", she
will spend a week incorporating his suggestions and ideas into a document
(she's a curicullum consultant for software firms in the SF area) and then
meet with him to review progress.  When she asks him if he thinks the document
is shaping up the way he wants it to he says "Well, I certainly see a lot of...
changes."  If this guy ever has kids they're going to be seriously messed up.

Everyone deserves a little recognition from time to time, especially during
the learning process, so this applies to kids more than anyone.  I think that
being internally rewarded is a better buffer against negative feedback, than
it is a substitute for positive feedback.


-Jeff
===============================================================================
ADVISORY:  Any use of this information, in any mannner whatsoever, will increase
the amount of disorder in the universe.  The reader is warned that this process
will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe.  No responsibility will
be accepted for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
===============================================================================
From: IO81409@MAINE.MAINE.EDU (Ailsa N.T. Murphy)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: When did you feel "grown-up" (was: Re: maternity lingerie)
Date: 8 Oct 92 21:56:25 GMT
 <1992Oct2.180749.29872@alw.nih.gov>
 <1992Oct3.005322.21451@sqwest.wimsey.bc.ca> <1992Oct5.145251.13425@sq.com>
 <6OCT199210193592@eldyn.gsfc.nasa.gov> <srb-081092161635@tarma.jax.org>
Organization: University of Maine System

well, i've been doing my own groceries since i was 20, so that
didn't do it.  i had friends be pregnant and give birth while
still in high school, so having katy didn't do it.  i still can't
drive, so a driver's license didn't do it.  and i've been paying
rent for years, so that didn't do it.

what did?  buying school clothes.  i rememebr my MOM buying school
clothes for ME, so if *I* am buying school clothes, *I* must be
a grownup now!  wow!  it was quite the rush, too!

                                                   -ailsa
======================================================================

Amazing how long it takes the CAPS office to delete accounts!  B)

ALL MAIL TO ailsa%ailanth.uucp@wang.com, please...
From: janem@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com (Jane Marcus)
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 16:51:29 GMT
Subject: Re: Thanks for the NE Picnic!
Organization: HP Fort Collins, Co.
Newsgroups: misc.kids

My thanks too to those who organized and hosted the picnic!  It was fun
and I was glad to meet those with familiar names as well as the lurkers
out here.  My only problem was not enough time to talk with everyone,
so I hope there will be a next time!

Jane Marcus
jane@apollo.hp.com
From: mdf0@GTE.com (Mark Feblowitz)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Attention Deficit Disorder Resources
Date: 13 Oct 92 22:51:46 GMT
	<1992Oct7.120925.12713@ll.mit.edu> <16889@pitt.UUCP>
Reply-To: mfeblowitz@gte.com
Followup-To: misc.kids
Organization: GTE Laboratories Inc.
In-reply-to: geb@cs.pitt.edu's message of 9 Oct 92 17:31:04 GMT

In article <16889@pitt.UUCP> geb@cs.pitt.edu (Gordon Banks) writes:

   In article <1992Oct7.120925.12713@ll.mit.edu> yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich) writes:
   >	Why is it that people are not willing to accept the experiences
   >	of others as being real?
   >
   Because some people have given evidence of being irrational, unreliable and
   or biased observers or otherwise cognitively impaired.


And some totally rational people - even those who are compulsively
rigorous in their scientific method - throw reason and/or objectivity
to the wind when they or their loved ones become acutely or severely
chronicly ill. Whether spurred on by severe pain, prolonged sleep
deprivation, or desperation to find a cure, the rational mind fails
(at least part of it) and objective help is required. The damnedest
thing, though - confidence in objectivity/rationality doesn't seem to
be altered!
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mark Feblowitz,   GTE Laboratories Inc., 40 Sylvan Rd.  Waltham, MA 02254
mfeblowitz@GTE.com, (617) 466-2947, fax: (617) 890-9320
Xref: sparky misc.kids:25650 soc.singles:27377
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: misc.kids,soc.singles
Subject: Re: BARBIE DOES IT AGAIN!!!!
Date: 9 Oct 92 15:22:28 GMT
Followup-To: misc.kids
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Oct06.012015.23329@CS.ORST.EDU> keeneye@CS.ORST.EDU (Eileen F. Keeney) writes:
|There are over 200 phrases (I don't recall the exact number)
|"Math class is Hard" is one of those phrases, a few others are
|more career oriented such as "I want to be a doctor".

Could be worse. She could say "I want to be a lawyer".

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira     | Auspex Systems | "Auspex does not share my opinions.  |
| johnf@auspex.com | Santa Clara CA |  So Why am I still working here?"    |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: phil@lotatg.lotus.com (Phil Ritari)
Subject: Re: 92 Re: Names (don't do this to your kids)
Organization: Lotus Development Corp.
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 92 18:55:16 GMT

In article <SHAFER.92Oct6153914@rigel.dfrf.nasa.gov> shafer@rigel.dfrf.nasa.gov  
(Mary Shafer) writes:
> On 6 Oct 92 21:10:36 GMT, kassover@rumsey.crd.ge.com (David Kassover) said:
> 
> David> Ah, I believe that was Major Major Major, who was promoted from
> David> lieutenant through Captain in record time.  Needless to say,
> David> Major Major Major Major had not the slightest chance of a making  
Colonel.
> 
> There was indeed a Major Major here at Edwards AFB once.  At the same
> time we also had a Captain Marvel.
> 




The sister of a friend of mine is Doctor Doctor.
Newsgroups: misc.kids,alt.postmodern
From: marcy@sqwest.wimsey.bc.ca (Marcy Thompson)
Subject: Re: BARBIE DOES IT AGAIN!!!!
Organization: SoftQuad Inc., Surrey, British Columbia, CANADA
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 19:02:58 GMT

In article Richard Carlson writes:
>
>I am not trying to "blame the victim." I am looking for victim
>characteristics -- which, like some varieties of defenselessness,
>may clearly imply an obviously blameless victim.

You keep saying this, and people keep telling you that what you post
sounds like you are trying to "blame the victim".

It is possible that you aren't caught up in a blame the victim attitude.
I'm willing to take your word for it. But it sure seems to me that your
postings appear to say otherwise. Lynn tells you about how she used
to be beat up regularly, and you want to know what it was about her
that made other kids feel like hitting her.

Even if it didn't occur to you when you wrote those words that she
(and others) might interpret them as blaming her for having been
bullied, you really ought to be able to get the point when many,
many people tell you that they interpreted your words to mean just
that.

You keep posting disclaimers about how you aren't trying to blame
the victim, and then you keep asking the victims of bullying what they
were doing to cause the bullying. Maybe you should spend some time
thinking of a new way to ask the same question, a way which won't
make the questionees and the auditors of the exchanges feel that you
are doing some victim-blaming.

Finally, I think it's more important to work out ways to stop bullying
children from bullying than to try to figure out what victims can do
to be less victimlike. In the school I attended, you were a target for
being bullied if you wore homemade clothes. At Alison's school, a homemade
dress is a status symbol, and kids who only wear storebought clothes
are targets for teasing and bullying. Go figure. 

Marcy

-- 

Marcy Thompson		
  SoftQuad (West)			
    marcy@sqwest.wimsey.bc.ca (preferred) or marcy@sq.com
From: haynes@cats.ucsc.edu (Jim Haynes)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Names (don't do this to your kids)
Date: 17 Oct 1992 01:09:36 GMT
Organization: University of California; Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: hobbes.ucsc.edu


In article <3880@bcstec.ca.boeing.com> gentry@bcstec.ca.boeing.com (Tim Gentry) writes:
>
>I'm quite sure that this has achieved the status of urban legend, but my
>grandmother _really_did_ attend school with two sisters, Ima and Ura Hogg.

Really?  Really, really?

Ms. Ima Hogg is a well-known historical person whose father was Governor
of Texas.  I don't have dates and all that readily at hand to quote,
but I've seen his portrait in the Texas State Capitol and I've seen
articles about Ms. Ima in various magazines.  As I recall her mother died
young and she was a sort of substitute First Lady of Texas.  At least
this Ms. Hogg did not have a sister name Ura.
-- 
haynes@cats.ucsc.edu
haynes@cats.bitnet

"Ya can argue all ya wanna, but it's dif'rent than it was!"
"No it aint!  But ya gotta know the territory!"
        Meredith Willson: "The Music Man"

Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: kati@glnserv.UUCP (Lady Dragon)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: How to get daughter more career-minded?
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 08:45:48 CDT
Organization: Vermi-net, Houston, Tx. 77098

> >>>We have a 4 years old daughter who is really bright.  ...
> >>>
> >>>Then, a few weeks ago, I took her to the doctor for her regular
> >>>checkup.  On our way back, I asked her: "Do you want to be a
> >>>doctor when you grow up?"  Her answer shocked me.  "No," she said
> >>>"I want to get married."  "But you can be a doctor and get married
> >>>too" I tried to tell her that there is really no conflict here.
> >>>"No," she said "I want to be a mom and have kids."  "But you can
> >>>be a mom, have kids, and be a doctor at the same time." I was trying
> >>>my best to explain to her.  "No," her voice became lauder "I don't
> >>>want to be a doctor.  I want to get married when I grow up."
> >>>

I'd suggest seeing about getting her into Girl Scouts or checking with
girl groups. One of the main things GS stresses is giving a girl options
on whatever career/s are available to her. We try to build a girl's self-
confidence and independence and show her as much of what's out there as
we can. Also, many people do not yet know that GS now begins with Kind-
ergarteners called Daisies.




* * email address: nuchat!xcluud!glnserv!kati * Houston, Texas, USA, Earth * *
From: julian@frey.lbl.gov (julian cortella)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Summary: places to live in the USA (ratings)
Date: 15 Oct 1992 18:34:35 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory, Berkeley CA USA
Reply-To: julian@frey.lbl.gov (julian cortella)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.128.81
Summary: Life in Oakland

In article <1992Oct15.165558.16275@nas.nasa.gov> choi@wk59.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi) writes:

>>15. Oakland
>
>I don't understand how Oakland can be #15 in 1992. They're setting a new record
>this year for murders ...158 so far.  This is more than last year with
>2 1/2 months more to go.  Low crime rate must not get much weight.  Also with
>California budget cuts, schools and libraries are taking quite a beating...
>and isn't unemployment in California around 10% ...huh?
>
You know what, I agree.  And I've lived in Oakland for ten years now.  If
anything, life has gotten worse, much worse in my opinion.  We are taxed
to death to pay for various natural disasters, skyrocketing crime rates,
and a myriad of other things.

Housing: average 3 bedroom home will run you $275,000.
Crime: see above mentioned murder rate.  We don't have problems
       with the L.A. gangs coming up here.  They're afraid of the locals.
Schools: On the verge of bankruptcy.  Less than 5% can qualify for 
         UC admissions.
Arts: Our symphony went bankrupt a few years ago.  I guess we can always
      go to San Francisco.
Recession Proof: I think alameda county had a 12% unemployment rate last month.
Weather: Ok, the weather's pretty good.

Geez, I guess I should move.  :-)      (actually, I will in January)

-julian
From: jean@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Jean Jasinski)
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 20:04:42 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: places to live in the USA
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: misc.kids

Some of the factors used in computing the livability index are:
taxes, percentage of students that graduate high school, average
real estate price (as well as how well the real estate values hold),
health of population, size and diversity of industry in the area,
unemployment statistics.

The number one place to live was Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  My
homeotown of New Britain, CT moved up from dead last to second
or third from the bottom. :)

Jean Jasinski
From: nadja@jetsun.weitek.COM (Nadja Adolf)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: BARBIE DOES IT AGAIN!!!!
Date: 13 Oct 92 00:09:30 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <ki2isB1w165w@depsych.Gwinnett.COM> rc@depsych.Gwinnett.COM (Richard Carlson) writes:
>
>There could, and probably should, be a whole thread on this point.
>Is it an old wive's tale that kids who fight back never get picked
>on, or is that moderated by how well you do it or how hard you
>hit?  What does "do it better" mean in this context?  Did you ever
>land a punch?  Did they have any force behind them?


Yes, it is an old wive's tale. I was routinely pounded on (although I did
permanently deter one bully) because I was visibly of mixed race and 
came from a lower socio-economic class than my classmates. I was also
noticeably more intelligent. In fact, one of the kids used to pound on me
for 'thinking I was smarter than whites', i.e, by getting the top scores
on tests.

I did get the bullies to leave me alone in junior high and high school by
letting my grades slip down.

-- 
The Earth Pig Bourne....

nadja@node.com (prefered email address)
nadja@weitek.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: betsy@HQ.Ileaf.COM (Betsy Mandrus)
Subject: Re: IV or not to IV (was Re: Last week was certainly eventful!)
Reply-To: betsy@HQ.Ileaf.COM (Betsy Mandrus)
Organization: Interleaf, Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 18:55:58 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.161723.21342@cadreor.cadre.com> evelyn@cadreor.cadre.com (Evelyn Mast) writes:
> When I was in labor (in a Kaiser Hosp.FWIW), they kept on insisting
> that I should have an IV.  It was very important to me that I go
> through labor, as much as possible, naturally and without medication.
> I refused to allow them to install an IV.  They said "you need fluids",
> and I said "I am getting plenty with the ice chips" which I sucked down
> after each contraction.  I just said "NO".
> 
> Become informed and decide on what your own personal limits are.
> Everyone is different, and each birth is a different situation.  Certainly
> a hospital will have things set up for their own convenience, and
> they have their own routines.
> 

There is such a thing as going too far. If the nurses are saying you need
fluids, take the IV. Fluids are not medication and do not make your childbirth
less natural. I agree that an IV as routine is not needed; most modern hospitals
don't do it. However, if you are getting dehydrated, you can develop a fever
(as I did my first time). If my fever had stayed over 101, my baby would
have been put in the special care nursery, something you DON'T get a vote on.
If I hadn't been flooded with fluids via IV, my fever would have stayed up,and
I would not have had my baby with me until probably a day after the delivery
so they could check him for infection. (fever was 100.6 at delivery! whew!)

It is good advice to say "become informed." I think it's bad advice to say
don't take an IV to prevent dehydration because you want to go "natural".
From: hough@seismo.gps.caltech.edu (Susan Hough)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Having more than 2
Date: 13 Oct 1992 22:42:53 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: earth.gps.caltech.edu

In article <1992Oct13.162057.19644@random.ccs.northeastern.edu> sgauch@ccs.northeastern.edu (Susan Gauch) writes:

>impossible.  However, I imagine that the oldest starts spending more
>time with friends or with her own pursuits, leaving (hopefully) time
>for number 3.  I just love babies (and I'm pretty fond of kids, too!)
>and don't really feel "finished."

When I had two, I said, "enough", but in the back of my mind I wasn't
completely reconciled with that thought.  Now that I have three, I
say "enough", and I mean it.  I couldn't have faced the prospect of
3 under 5, but my eldest did get considerably more independent around
age 6-7, and her relationship with "the baby" is almost more of
second Mom than of sibbling.
 
>I'm contemplating a larger age gap (4-5 years)
>between number 2 and 3.  Basically, Laura and Brian are developing
>a good relationship and I don't want to disrupt it by having another
>baby that ends up close to Brian and leaves Laura in the lurch.

Sorry to break this one to you, but close relationships have been
known to disintegrate as sibblings get older.  My first two (also about
3 yrs apart) got along great until the younger was 2-3--at this point,
the baby brother suddenly became a "pest".

>Anyway, I'd love to hear from others who had more than 2 while
>working.  I would expect it to be more work than 2 (I'm not a fool)
>but did it disrupt family harmony?  Any thoughts on spacing?

Adding a third does mean more work, and more trouble finding any
time for oneself.  My husband sometimes does the grocery shopping with
the older two kids, for example, leaving me not by myself for an hour
but with a toddler.  But in some ways, it improved harmony--both my daughter
and my older son now have a sibbling with whom they (so far!) get along well.
That gives everyone more potential in-house playmates, and less demand
on parents to provide entertainment.

>Am I out of my mind?  

I won't touch that one; if you are, you aren't alone

Sue
From: kati@glnserv.UUCP (Lady Dragon)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: When did you feel "grown-up" 
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 08:49:24 CDT
Organization: Vermi-net, Houston, Tx. 77098

holly@mailhub.scf.lmsc.lockheed.com (Holly Wise) writes:

> In article <1992Oct7.145223.1@sscvx1.ssc.gov> willis@sscvx1.ssc.gov writes:
>
> When I looked in the mirror and saw a strange resemblance to my mother.
> Actually I didn't feel grown-up, just old.
> -----
I think I first felt like an adult when I was walking my infant daughter in
front of the junior high school I had attended. When a group of kids on the
sidewalk saw me coming, one of them said "Let the lady pass." and they moved
out of my way.




* * email address: nuchat!xcluud!glnserv!kati * Houston, Texas, USA, Earth * *
From: jgj@ssd.csd.harris.com (Jeff Jackson)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Rubbing backs to put children to sleep
Date: 12 Oct 92 19:38:59 GMT
	<1992Oct9.200745.21071@ast.saic.com>
	<1992Oct9.230957.4543@sqwest.wimsey.bc.ca>
Organization: I would rather be windsurfing.
NNTP-Posting-Host: rcx1.ssd.csd.harris.com
In-reply-to: marcy@sqwest.wimsey.bc.ca's message of Fri, 9 Oct 1992 23:09:57 GMT


> All 5 had
> laws requiring resident camps (ones where the kids sleep there) to
> provide "rest hours" for *all* campers, up to the age of 18. 
> The laws were (except in NH, where it was part of the child labor act)
> part of the health codes that camps had to comply with.

Well, I sure wish those laws applied to us adults too!  i know I could
use one after lunch.

--
============================================================================
Jeffrey Glen Jackson  _|_Satan jeered, "You're dead meat Jesus, I'm gonna
jgj@ssd.csd.harris.com |     bust you up tonight."
x5120                  | Jesus said, "Go ahead, make my day."
                   ~~~~~~~~~ -- Carman, "The Champion"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Am I the only person that thinks Perot looks like a Ferengi?
From: millerj@belize.crd.ge.com (Julia K. Miller)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Midwife info/Food and Fluids in Labour
Date: 13 Oct 92 12:30:26 GMT
Reply-To: belize!millerj@steinmetz.UUCP (Julia K. Miller)
Organization: GE Corporate Research & Development

In article <718610411.F00001@monly.wlink.nl.wlink.nl> Johannes.Beekhuizen@p5.f112.n100.z60.wlink.nl (Johannes Beekhuizen) writes:
>Hello christine.m.dakes,
>
>On Tuesday October 06 1992, christine.m.dakes wrote to All:
>
> cmd> Just a question from a soon-to-be-first-time-mom:
>
>Good luck and good health with it!
>
> cmd> Is vomiting while in labor a given?  Does every woman throw up during
> cmd> labor?  Also heard that one's body eliminates wastes out of both
> cmd> ends while in labor.  True for everyone?  Is this the body's natural
> cmd> response, to get rid of foreign material in the body to have the most
> cmd> room in the body (stomach and intestines) for the actual pushing
> cmd> and delivery?  Seems like a good theory to me....
>
> ...
> But the evening before our first was born, she had a heavy diarrhoea, which
> we attributed to eating too many young leeks. Although I didn't suffer from
> it. Could very well point to your theory of trying to eliminate wastes.
>
>
>Regards,
>
>       Johannes (friends call me Hans).

	Our lamaze coach said that you often get diarrhea (sp?) right before
you go into labor.  She said that if you felt constipated when you get to
the hospital, you should ask for an enema (sp?).  This was due to the fact
that a stool blockage in the rectal tract would be in the way of the baby
as she/he journeys out.  She also recommended that you get up and go to
the bathroom every hour during labor.  She said you would be much more
comfortable if the baby isn't pressing against a full bladder as it drops
down.  So, it seems like your body knows its better to get rid of any stools
and helps along.

Julia
From: erik@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Erik Lode)
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 18:02:24 GMT
Subject: Re: When did you feel "grown-up"  (was: Re: maternity lingerie)
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: misc.kids

paula@helix.nih.gov (Paula Moore) writes:

> Anyone else have these "I guess this means I'm a "grown-up" " experiences?

  After I bought a house, I was filling in the university change-of-address
forms yet again, and I suddenly paused when I realized my local and
permanent addresses were the same.
Newsgroups: misc.kids,soc.culture.asian.american