HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: nj@magnolia.Berkeley.EDU (Narciso Jaramillo)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: unlikely correspondences. 6.
Date: 25 Jul 92 17:15:54
Organization: Postcarcinogenic Bliss, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: magnolia.berkeley.edu


Dear T-----,

Let's attack Josephine.  Let's come at her sideways, edging around the
building, taking her by surprise when she's at the drinking fountain.
Or let us take a more forward approach, threatening her with a baseball
bat or a large axe.  Alternatively, we could destroy her family first,
or her closest friends.  Any of these possibilities might bear fruit.

When shall we attack Josephine?  Nighttime would be most dramatic, but
daytime would gain us the greatest infamy.  In fact, were we to attack
her immediately after lunch, we would surely appear on the evening
news.  However, other times have their advantages.  At 5 pm we could
bring along some light music to soothe her during the attack.  At 1 am
we could engage in pre-attack festivities without fear of being
noticed.  It is a difficult decision.  I look forward to your advice.

After the attack, we could go anywhere.  I lean heavily towards a
Burger King or an all-night bowling alley; I know you prefer a more
cultured retreat, to a townhouse on the lakeshore or to your rich
uncle's mansion near the mountains--I simply do not agree.  Of course,
Josephine wil never know of our fundamental difficulties in resolving
this particular dispute.  To her, our present and future locations
mean nothing.  She has never seen us, and will never see us again.
Our presence in her life is confined to that one sharp brutal moment
when we launch our offensive against her.

It is possible that she will not understand the significance of the
attack until months or years afterwards.  This is unfortunate but
unavoidable.

I hope you are in good health and able to join me in the attack upon
Josephine.  Please convey my regards and best wishes to your family.


Your friend always,


L-----.
From: josh@cqs.washington.edu (Josh Hayes)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: SSC
Date: 24 Jul 92 21:20:44 GMT
Organization: University of Washington

grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Purveyor of Arcane Knowledge) writes:

>In article <5721@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (R. P. White) writes:
>*Rob Hutten writes:
>*>I just typed ZZ to stop my walkman.
>*
>*Try Control-Z  

>No, that would just put it on pause.  If you want to stop it, use Control-C.

Careful with that. I did that with my discman, sent it
to the background, and haven't seen it since.

I wouldn't mind, but it had my They Might Be Giants disc
in it. Grrrrr.

>Mark "Vaguely MIDI" Lippert 

	-JAH

--
Josh Hayes, Quantitative Sciences HR-20 U of Washington
josh@mowgli.cqs.washington.edu             206 685-2793
Exclaimer: Hey!           Plan: Birth School Work Death
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
Subject: Re: BUSH
From: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)
Organization: The Man With Ten Cats
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 13:49:58 GMT
Reply-To: rmk@rmkhome.UUCP (Rick Kelly)

In article <1992Jul23.150517.15722@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> crussel@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Carol A Russell) writes:
>
>Hi Rick Kelly, et al.  No pretending about history with me.  I know full well 
>that the country's problems didn't begin with Bush.  He's certainly not making 
>any great strides in improving the country, is he?  Or, is it true about 
>George:  "Poor George....he can't help it".  If only I could post with Ann
>Richards' accent.


It's going to take a helluva lot longer than 4 years to make up for the
excesses of the last decade.  Sometime around the year 2000 the country
may be back on an even economic course again.  Bush is probably not the
best answer to the countries problems, but Clinton could very easily make
things worse.  Check out his record as governor.

-- 

Rick Kelly	rmk@rmkhome.UUCP	unixland!rmkhome!rmk	rmk@frog.UUCP
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: elan@tasha.cheme.cornell.edu (Elan Feingold)
Subject: Re: BUSH
Reply-To: elan@tasha.cheme.cornell.edu (Elan Feingold)
Organization: Cornell University
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 22:21:17 GMT



>>Should we vote to keep the status quo (or worse)?  Or vote for Clinton and >>give this country a chance?
>
>Ah, but Clinton _is_ worse. With Clinton in the White House the _world_
>would go to hell, not just the country...
>
>
>Gregg

Well Gregg, that's a solid argument.  I think I'll vote for Bush now :)

--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------|
|  Elan Feingold       |  Chevy Chase after being asked by a Howard Stern |
|  CS/EE Depts.        |  interviewer whether he still wore a toupee:     |
|  Cornell University  |  "Ask him [Stern] if he wants me to put his      |
|  Ithaca NY 14850     |   dentist in a higher tax bracket."              |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: russ@math.okstate.edu (Russ "Random" Smith)
Subject: Re: Short shameful one line bio confession
Organization: Aggie? What precisely is an Aggie?
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 23:12:16 GMT

In <1992Jul28.205334.17934@uwm.edu> grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Purveyor of Arcane Knowledge) writes:

>Once, I seriously considered becoming a clown.  Really.

For ages, I wanted to become a stand up comedian.

-Random
now I sit down all day

-- 
Russ "Random" Smith
+----===Comedy!  Sudden, violent comedy!===-----------russ@okstate.edu--------+
|  Godfather of the Random Gang; Diplomat of the Brotherhood of Evil MUDders  |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: thoth@uiuc.edu (Ben Cox)
Subject: well-kept secret
Originator: btc30679@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu
Reply-To: thoth@uiuc.edu (Ben Cox)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 18:30:27 GMT

In Urbana, there is a parking meter that has a wonderful grape flavor
to it.

--
Ben Cox
thoth@uiuc.edu
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: CREATION OF ALT.NEWBIE
Date: 26 Jul 92 23:52:34 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <1992Jul23.115811.17175@vpnet.chi.il.us> lisbon@vpnet.chi.il.us (Gerry Swetsky) writes:
>In article <5669@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (R. P. White) writes:
>>Gerry Swetsky writes:
>>
>>>    I just noted that the "newsgroups" file, which lists 324 alt
>>>    newsgroups and which is upgraded daily, lists none of the above
>>>    newsgroups.  Why is that?  Could it be because of your apparent
>>>    contempt for alt.config and the net's consensus?
>>
>>Introduction
>>------------
>><The introduction, which Mr. Swetsky obviously hasn't read, is deleted>
>>
>>alt.fan.gooley		Fans of Markian Gooley and his followers.
>>
>>alt.newbie		Alt's answer to news.newusers.*.
>>
>>alt.sex.carasso		Where Carasso's SO is himself.
>>alt.sex.carasso.snuggles	I can't talk, my mouth is full.
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>And there's more, lots more. Can someone explain the concept of anarchy to this little net.hitler wannabbe?
>
>    Obviously reading isn't one of your strong points.  None of the
>    aforementioned newsgroups is listed in "newsgroups", which lists at
>    least 324 other alt groups.  Don't give me any crap.  You've


Oh oh, strong words from Gerry "I fuck Sheep" Swetsky.  I'm sooooo scared

Like we GOD of GODS here at milnet sites really care what a sheep hugger
like you thinks.

>| Home (708)833-8122       vpnet (708)833-8126      lisbon@vpnet.chi.il.us |
>============================================================================


Phone numbers, Now is this convienent or what?

And C.J. thought she       was being cranked
-- 
I love the 3b2
The 3b2 is my friend.
From: jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu (Larry Jewell)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: open letter to Roger David Carasso
Date: 28 Jul 92 03:25:43 GMT
Organization: Purdue University

In article <7927@dirac.physics.purdue.edu> sho@gibbs.physics.purdue.edu (Sho Kuwamoto) writes:
>
>Think globally, act locally.
>Put him in your killfile.
>
Jeez! A CLUE!
'bout time.

OB ^L
nihil qoud tetigit non ornavit

















-- 
#Larry W. Jewell (ex-USN) jewell@mace.cc.purdue.edu                         # 
#"Sunday's horoscope is noteworthy because of its strange, sudden and wholly#
#unpredictable and inexplicable occurrences, affecting all phases of life." #
#--"Your Horoscope," L.A. Evening Herald Express, Saturday, Dec. 6, 1941.   #
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:24068 alt.flame:11544
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.flame
Subject: Re: DON'T POST CROSSES TO TALK.*FUCKING*.BIZARRE
From: demon@desire.wright.edu (Stupendous Man)
Date: 30 Jul 92 15:46:21 EST
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.testicle,alt.flame
Organization: Demonic Possesions, Inc.

In article <3486@atlas.tegra.COM>, vail@tegra.COM (Johnathan Vail) writes:
> 
> every so often some newbie toad-licker wants to be biggest anus over
> all those that have cum before on this froup.

	But find their way blocked by people like you?

> Here is the latest "jewel" who obviously isn't stuffing enough
> chickens:
> 
>        From: jewell@MACE.CC.PURDUE.EDU (Larry "family" Jewell)
> 
> welcome to the kill file: ("From" "jewell" article-junk)

	Ahh, such wit, such intelligence, such...public masturbation!

	Below you will find the Patented[1] Newsgroup  Clearing  Algorithm.

Step 1:	Post many, many messages.  Preferably with similar subject headings
designed to annoy.

Step 2: Watch as all the insecure wannabees loudly announce they are placing
you in their killfile.

Step 3: Followup one of their posts, while keeping the misc.test line as-is,
this will cause the jaded "can't be bothered with your type"s to place you in
their killfile.

Step 4: Denounce any geek leader (e.g. RDC) as the wannabee king that (s)he is.

Step 5: Continue to post with the knowledge that you have elminated 99% of the
wannabee geek-a-zoids who parrot their leaders with misc.test followups, pet
buzzwords, and other tiresome practices from bothering you with their inane
followups.

<Insert Coin>

[1] My lawsuit is bigger than yours, try it bub.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cheating@ccvm.sunysb.edu (cue queue)
Subject: Rictus Hep's matter of pride: He won't settle for 2nd best.
Followup-To: alt.noise,bit.listserv.words-l,misc.misc,rec.arts.poems,soc.culture.usa,talk.bizarre
Originator: cheading@casbah.acns.nwu.edu
Organization: Mollusk Infrastructure
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 17:53:16 GMT

He refuses the $10,000,000 Publisher's Clearinghouse Grand Prize when
he learns that someone else actually had the winning number but failed
to return the order form on time.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton
From: string@wrs.com (String)
Subject: Re: BUSH
Organization: Wind River Systems, Inc.
Date: Sun, 26 Jul 1992 03:02:18 GMT

>>> Are you suggesting that black babies can be killed because they might
>>> grow up to become prison inmates? 
>
>> Please refer to my last follow-up to the same knee-JERK reaction that you've
>> submitted.
>
>Please answer the question directly. Are you suggesting that black babies 
>can be killed because they might grow up to become prison inmates? Your
>last follow-up didn't address the question which I am asking. A "yes"
>or "no" answer would be sufficient.
>
Here it is AGAIN! If you READ the paragraph that follows, you WILL find 
the answer you seek. Here, you start, and I'll help you when you get there,
OK? ok.


The POINT the you can't seem to see is that you want the gov't to regulate
women having babies, however, your beloved republican administration doesn't
want to take care of the infants whose paraents can't or don't want to take
				          ^oops.

care of them. I do not advocate killing anyone. I also don't advocate the
              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
	      did you get that ? no? here, I'll isolate it for you. ready ?

	      I do not advocate killing anyone. 

gov't trying to legislate morality. Ya'll are blinded by xtianity to the
point of insanity.  If ya'll really care about the unwanted children that are
born why don't you crusade for something positive like full gov't funding of
social services for youth, education,, medical care, etc, etc. How about 
jobs and training programs for all the unskilled and unemployed people 
out there. No, ya'll would rather privatize the prison system and incarcerate 
the poor. Entrap them with mandatory minimum sentancing and a phoney "war" on
drugs. IF you where good christians you would be out fighting the WoD, and 
fighting for truth and freedom. Judgement day is going to be very disappointing
for you folks. Your so misguided and paranoid that the Big Guy is going to have
no chioce but to spit you into the lake of fire. :)
As our beloved leader says "SHUT UP, AND SIT DOWN!"

Ok, glad to see you made it to the end. Were there any other big concepts
that you need help with?

>I'm non-religious. I don't believe in a spiritual existence.
>Doug Holtsinger

Thank you for your interest Mr. Holtsinger. I wish you much luck in getting
thru your challenging college career. You know, a more spiritual existence
might help you get thru these tough times. 

peace,
string.

ps. sorry for my horrible spelling. 

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mccall@mksol.dseg.ti.com (fred j mccall 575-3539)
Subject: Drooling and Silverioing all over himself
Organization: Texas Instruments, Inc
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 15:38:27 GMT

In article <nq9i4qc@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@eno.corp.sgi.com (C J
Silverio) writes:

Well, I'll just respond to the bits that show faint glimmers of
intelligence on the part of Mr. Silverio.

>---
>mccall@mksol.dseg.ti.com (fred j mccall 575-3539) writes:
>|>|>streeter@cs.unca.edu (Tom Streeter) writes:
>|>|>|This is rich!  The stuff from talk.bizarre is so profound we have to
>|>|>|look at it everywhere, but heaven forbid anything from another newsgroup
>|>|>|leak into the hallowed spaces.
>
>|Not sure how I can 'agree' with Streeter, since I've never met him or
>|talked to him.  But suit yourself.
>
>Poor Fred.  Fred can't read.  Streeter's post is right
>up there, but Fred can't read it.  Maybe this is why
>Fred can't confine himself to alt.politics.*.  Fred is
>illiterate-- a million monkeys on a million ttys do his
>typing for him.
>
>|>And since swell people like you keep crossposting, it can't
>|>be inappropriate now, can it?
>|
>|My sentiments exactly, but you don't seem to care for the logic when
>|it's applied to you.
>
>Poor Fred.  Fred can't read.  My post is right up there, but
>Fred can't understand it.  I *agree* with Streeter's point--
>t.b is wonderful & profound!  You all want to read it!  I'm
>so happy.  I'm going to have a great time writing wonderful
>little pieces to follow up each Fred post in talk.bizarre, 
>because Streeter said you all want to read them.  Oh boy!
>
>---
>cj@eno.corp.sgi.com	C J Silverio/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720
>"I am going tomorrow where I shall find a man who has not one agreeable
>quality, who has neither manner nor sense to recommend him.  Stupid men
>are the only ones worth knowing, after all."   Jane Austen


Well, I guess that's all the responses that are appropriate based on
the original intelligence of the remarks.  All I can say is his .sig
is appropriate; based on that reasoning, Jane Austen would have LOVED
CJ.









































































-- 
"Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live
 in the real world."   -- Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fred.McCall@dseg.ti.com - I don't speak for others and they don't speak for me.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.politics.clinton,alt.fan.gooley
From: pquince@blacks.jpl.nasa.gov (Peter Quince)
Subject: Re: I LOVE BUSH!!!
Organization: Image Analysis Systems Group, JPL
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 22:09:36 GMT

mge1@cec1.wustl.edu (Michael Gatchalian Escano) writes:

>In article <80dm7nr.rdc@netcom.com> rdc@netcom.com (Bob D. Crane) writes:
>>				   
>>     [cross made up of 'Bush/Quayel 92!!!']
>> 
>	Now, there's a contradiction for you.  
>	

Yes, I have been trying to figure out if the Bush/Quayle cross is a stunning 
and elegant piece of artistic irony.  I could see a canvas version of this hanging 
in a gallery...  

pq


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.alien.visitors
From: chip@tct.com (Chip Salzenberg)
Subject: Re: Ley Linesj
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 14:53:57 GMT
Organization: TC Telemanagement, Clearwater, FL

According to reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk:
>In article <62936@cup.portal.com>, John_-_Winston@cup.portal.com writes:
>> --the Goddess and other planets and other constellations that she speaks
>> to, so when you are looking at these two barbells which are symbolical...
>
>Anyone know what all this rubbish is about?

Better living through chemistry.
-- 
Chip Salzenberg at Teltronics/TCT  <chip@tct.com>, <73717.366@compuserve.com>
   "Do Rush place weird subliminal backmasked messages in their songs to
 compel unwilling geeks to commit evil .sig atrocities?"  -- Dean Engelhardt
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:24002 alt.cascade:1527
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.cascade
Subject: Re: toast
Keywords: M M M M M
Date: 30 Jul 92 18:06:50 GMT
Followup-To: rictus.mortise,hep.cat,alt.jizzm-jazzm-spazzm
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona

In article <5791@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Marmalade.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Marmoreal.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mont Martre.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Monroe Doctrine.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Maroney Award.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mutlu Prize.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Maltese Falcon.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Malpighian corpuscle.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>>Manon of the Spring.
)>>>>>>>>>>>>Man of War.
)>>>>>>>>>>>Mather, Cotton.
)>>>>>>>>>>Mann Act.
)>>>>>>>>>Menarche.
)>>>>>>>>Manny, Moe, and Jack
)>>>>>>>M3 Money Supply.
)>>>>>>Morgan le Fay
)>>>>>Megalomania.
)>>>>Mea culpa.
)>>>Mezzanine Loge.
)>>Mezzo-soprano.
)>Monsieur Beaucaire.
)Moses and Monotheism.
Mead in Valhalla.

>rp -- forgot how this started.

I posted a test message, and inflected "test" into "toast."

				--Blair
				  "...and added some jam."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.sex,soc.culture.british
From: kenj@kambo.corp.sgi.com (Ken ``Blackfur'' Jones)
Subject: Re: Homophobia(was Re: SEX)
Organization:  Silicon Graphics, Inc.  Mountain View, CA
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 17:53:23 GMT

tagg@hg.uleth.ca (Nathaniel Tagg) writes:

>Sodophobia, perhaps.

Fear of turf.

- Ken
From: clifton_r@verifone.com (Clifton Royston)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: One-line bio*: Brad & Janet
Date: 23 Jul 92 01:08:39 -1000
Organization: VeriFone Inc., Honolulu HI

  They conquered, they were seen, they went.



* "One-line bio" [tm] is a registered trademark of Subject Lines, Inc.
  used under license.  Accept no substitutes!

  -- Pope Clifton the Anonymous (and his shamelessly unfashionable .sig)

clifton_r@verifone.com	| VeriFone, Inc. 	| Home: +1-808-521-9073	
Pope, CotSg in Paradise	| 100 Kahelu Ave.  	| Work: +1-808-625-3234	
"Boring .sig, so what."	| Mililani HI  96789	|  & that about covers it...
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Flaming Fred
Date: 26 Jul 92 23:34:56 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

fred j mccall writes:
)>C J Silverio writes:

)>Such a net.citizen you are.  How virile, powerful, and in
)>control you must feel!  I'd like to see you try this in real
)>life.  In fact, I'd pay money to see it.  I love watching
)>rude people getting their craniums downsized to fit their brains.

>I treat people like they act, Mr. Silverio.  It's not a matter of


Reading this, I am reminded of the immortal words of Starcap'n Ra:     

          "You are a stupid asshole.  Shut the fuck up."
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] U Foo")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: blugh
Date: 30 Jul 92 21:09:22 GMT
Followup-To: alt.guiness
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: cass8806@elan.glassboro.edu's message of 30 Jul 92 18:24:41 GMT

In article <cass8806.123@elan.glassboro.edu> cass8806@elan.glassboro.edu (KYLE CASSIDY) writes:
>	Kristin does look remotely Asian, although she is far too tall.

The tallest woman in recorded history was over eight feet tall and was Chinese.

--

                And for to see, and eke for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: milliken@athena.cs.uga.edu (Brewmeister)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Masochists' Bargain Store
Date: 30 Jul 92 20:27:50 GMT
Followup-To: misc.test,talk,bizarre
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens

In article <63085@cup.portal.com> lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:
>Jenny BALLMAN informs:
>: Fries, in this part of the world, are steer/ram testicles.
>
>you know, if ever i were confronted with expert opinion,
>this has to be that moment.

Android, you wouldn't know expert opinion if it rammed you in the testicles.
I believe the delicacy to which the young lady refers is none other than
Rocky Mountain Oysters.  Had some when I was in Colorado.  Went to a party, and
the drunk cowboys who were in attendance were wolfing down battered, deep fried
ram balls.  Let me eat about 15 of them before anybody bothered to tell me what
they were.  Great stuff.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
>| lord snooty @the giant | Would You Like Fries With That?                 |
>| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
>  --------------------------------------------------------------------------


-- 
Copy this .sig and just say noe to big-brother's monitoring of public bandwidth
*Bush Quayle conspriacy JFK cocaine LSD heroin marijuana AK-47 Iran Iraq Libya*
*Sandinista Contras Panama Noriega FBI CIA NSA Secret Service fixed-elections *
*Neil Bush S&L coverup potatoe wiretaps search & seizure bill of rights dead  *
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Homework for Newbies
Date: 23 Jul 92 20:28:58 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

Rigler, ever the helpful gent:
|Oh, nj and I *need* something.  Well, let me just drop the vital 
|scientific research I'm doing and cater to your whims.  Hey everybody,
|millions must starve but at least nj and bc will have their music 
|lyrics.  Always glad to help.  Bread and circuses while Rome burns below.

|I have several priceless Shao Lin scrolls in my possession.  The
|Shao Lin scrolls were always written in ten lines of ten words 
|each, and every scroll contains a deadly lesson.  Here, you can 
|have my least favorite:

Was it just me, or would most people have been more impressed if he'd
actually had an interesting story?

Stick to fighting the heat death of the universe, Rigler. I cannot
imagine you having worse luck at that.

mr HEINOUS
born under punches
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: 100 Word Story
Date: 23 Jul 92 16:54:30 GMT
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

[I apologize profusely for having posted this without line breaks originally.
It might happen again.]

"Prove it," Tim said, handing the blond-haired man a powdered donut.

The man took it, tossing away the piece of wax paper Tim had used, and holding
it with his bare fingers.  Not one speck of powder flaked off.  He took a large
bite, all the way to the center hole.  Still no powder.  Not a single speck was
on his face.  He ate the rest of the donut, and when he was done, his fingers
and face were spotless.  Not even his tongue bore the slightest trace of white.

"You are a demigod," Tim said reverently, kneeling before him.

--
---Alfvaen(a.k.a. Aaron V. Humphrey, Page of Newts)
Canadian Network For Space Research, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
"The bullroarer churns a Moebius strip of sound..."  Anna Amabiaca
Current Album--Depeche Mode:Construction Time Again
Current Read--K.W. Jeter: Dr. Adder