From: nikita@russia (John R. Hardy)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Greetings
Distribution: world
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 92 12:36:50 GMT
Organization: Hardy & Assoc.

I am going to post this with my name, because I am now, not affraid
of anyone knowing what I've done.  I would ask that I not be slammed 
for the act of cruelty I commited.  Although I understand that you have 
that right.  I am here to learn and help if possible, not to be a problem.

Dear Hide and Seek,
        I am very sorry to hear about your abuse.  As mentioned above
I am not a victom, I am an offender, or otherwise known as a "perp".
Without the therapy I have been going through in the past 2 years, I would
never have even signed up for this group.  I raped a young woman at a
party one night, and I had made a lot of thinking errors that allowed me
to commit that horrible crime.  I am writting to you to say that there are
a lot of individuals that live very productive lives after having been
abused.  And there are just as many individuals that just fall apart, and
don't seem to be able to make it back up.  I don't believe that this is
entirely anyones fault.  I believe it is up to the person.  My self, I 
would have never gotten back up after what I did.  My guilt would have 
killed me.  And I have a right to feel guilty, YOU DON'T.  Victoms of abuse
are just that, VICTOMS.  Knowing what to do must be a very hard thing for
you.  I am glad that the young woman that I raped pressed charges.  I
don't know though how that would affect your family, and if you would be
willing to go to that extent to fix a problem in you family.  I would almost
guarante(sp?) that your father knows that what he did was wrong.  In my 
experience, I was told by the court that I was to pay for any therapy that
my victom went for.  I wasn't so thrilled about that then, I am very willing
to do so now, and yet she had only 3 sessions right after this occurance,
and I by law/probation, cannot contact her (for obvious reasons) to see if
she would like more.  Therapy has indeed helped me very much.  I can feel
again, I can think about others now, and not just myself.  I signed up
for this news group, because I never what to impose the kind of pain I
caused with my victom, and all of the other secondary victoms.  Does this
sound like rambling?  I don't want to do that.  I am hoping that this might
give you some idea's from a "perp" on what can happen, and the healthier 
thinking that can come from therapy.  Whether it be for yourself, or all
of your fathers victoms, and him self.  There is a reality that things
don't always work the way we want them, I don't know and I won't pretend 
that I know what this might do to your family.  If you tell a therapist or
psycologist what your father has done, I'm sure by law, that they would
have to report it.  These are only things to consider.  I hope that if you
or others have any questions that you ask.  I am not here to make fun of,
make rude comments, or dispute that abuse is horrible.  I am here to make
sure that I, myself am keeping intouch with what I did so that I never
hurt another again as I did.  Also so that I might be some help, if possible
to those who need to know what might happen, or what the "perp" has
learned, if any.  My therapy has been indepth, to say the least, and I'm 
glad.  I am almost complete with my manditory therapy, and I have been
thinking on becoming a therapist for those who have molested, or who have
been molested.  I care, and I hope you believe it.


                          John R. Hardy
                       73 W. 6905 S. #13 F
                        Midvale, Ut. 84047
                       email:  russia!nikita