From: mine@iowegia.uucp (shelley kitsis)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Any Available Jewish Men Out There??
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 92 15:24:48 CST
Distribution: world
Organization: Iowegia Public Access Usenet/UUCP, Clive IA USA.

sharon@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Sharon Curtis) writes:

> In one article, Shelley wrote that she wanted an eligible Jewish man
> 
> In another article, Tim wrote (amongst other things):
> > Well, call me crazy Shelley, but did you ever consider dating someone
> > who, (GASP), wasn't Jewish?
> 
> In a further article, Michael wrote:
> > Tim, stuff it.  Didn't you read what she wrote?  Her religion forbids it.
> > You can call religion an archaic basis for mating, but the majority of
> > the world happens not to agree with you.
> 
> In a further article, Tim wrote:
> >Ohhhhh, stuff it huh!
> ...
> >Second: So if you met a wonderful ethnic woman whom you loved very
> >       much, and couldn't live without, you would pass her up on
> >       religious grounds?
> 
> 
> For goodness, sake, Tim! (and anyone else who thinks that religious
> beliefs are irrelevant to relationships)
> Try learning a little something.
> 
> It is vitally important that for two people in a committed relationship,
> their religious beliefs are compatible!!!
> 
> Some combinations of beliefs won't have much trouble, like for
> example I imagine the following combinations are ok -
> Agnostic-Agnostic
> Atheist-Atheist
> Agnostic-Atheist
> Christian(Methodist)-Christian(Baptist)
> 
> but for others it can create *terrible* problems in a relationship!
> I don't have much experience of things from the Jewish perspective,
> but I have some from the Christian perspective.
> I know a couple that had compatible beliefs when they married,
> but the woman became a Christian so that they had a
> Christian-Atheist
> combination, which was the precipitating factor in their divorce.
> As a Christian, the woman put God first, and her husband second.
> The man wanted her to put him first, and God second.
> VITAL CLASH OF BELIEFS!
> If both are Atheists, then that's fine, cos they don't believe in
> God anyway, and if both are Christians, then they both put God first.
> 
> There can be problems from religion even if couples have the same
> belief. Take the example of two atheists, one of whom is a 
> Jew by *race* (note being descended from Abraham and believing
> in Judaism are two different things), and the other is a Gentile.
> Even though the couple's beliefs are compatible, I understand that
> the Jew could come under tremendous pressure from the family
> to marry another Jew.
> 
> So yes, sure, you can date people of whatever religion you like,
> but if you know that relationships with people of certain religions
> would not work out for you in the long term, then maybe you had
> either better avoid dating these people, or prepare yourself
> for heartbreak if you date one and fall in love and come up against
> religion problems.
> 
> Shelley is actually being pretty sensible!
> 
> Someone mentioned "core beliefs". I think that what I've said above
> about compatability is relevant to core beliefs in general.
> 
> Sharon

Hi Sharon!
Thank you for straightening Tim out! (maybe I'm out of place here; 
everyone has a right to his/her opinion!)
It was refreshing to receive some positive feedback from a female!
Although there has been a lot of posts from men, you're the first 
female that has responded. From what you wrote, I know you know 
where I'm coming from! My brother justed recently divorced...they 
were married for 9 years and tried everything to make it work. She 
was Christian (born again yet!), but had agreed before they had 
children, that they would be raised in the Jewish faith. I don't 
think I have to elaborate on what has happened since they 
divorced. The children are the innocent ones...yet they are the 
ones that suffer the most! Not to mention how confused they are 
now! The little one (my 4 yr. old niece) was visiting her father 
(my brother) a couple of months ago, and out of the blue, started 
singing a song about Jesus. I can't describe how devastated my 
brother was. Joshua is the oldest (7 Yrs now), and just beginning 
to understand....in fact, he never wants to go back when 
visitation is up every 2 weeks! He is the last of the Jewish 
bloodline in the Kitsis family (being a boy, of course...to carry 
on the name). My father passed away 3 and 1/2 yrs ago of renal 
failure, but he went in peace, knowing that the bloodline would 
continue with Josh.....it was very important to him! (maybe it has 
something to do with his parents....they were very strict 
Orthodox. They came over from the old country (russia) to escape 
the programs!
Anyway, just wanted to let you know how much your post meant to 
me!
"Happy New Year!" (and a healthy one!)
                   Shelley