HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: bur@ultisol.gsfc.nasa.gov (MAC)
Subject: Re: stopping the plague
Organization: NASA/GSFC code 923
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 02:58:55 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.234532.9626@nmsu.edu> sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA) writes:
[stuff deleted]
>There is a difference between demeaning a group and making a joke about
>Republicans.  


I have no joke here, I just like saying the joke is on the Republicans.


Ta-ta for now,
M
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: I hate that.
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 14:43:01 GMT

So I'm all ready to go down to Calgary to meet Los Bros Hernandez.  The job I
thought might interfere was given to someone else, without even giving me a
chance to embarrass myself at the interview.  And my wife took the day off, so
we were all set to go down there.  I anticipated some trouble finding the comic
shop, since I've never driven in Calgary to speak of, but nothing further.

The goddamn motherfucking car will not start.  Well, no, it starts once, then
stalls.  Then it starts again and stalls.  And then it fails to start again.
After an hour of trying, I give up.

So I stayed home and played SimEarth all day instead.  And reread all my old
Love And Rockets.

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"I'm a few bricks short of a load, but a full load always hurt my back."
   ---Barenaked Ladies
Current Album--Eight Seconds:Almacantar
Current Read--Evelyn Waugh:The Loved One
From: tomf@gte.com (Tom Fawcett)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Logical conclusions
Date: 15 Oct 92 22:35:25 GMT
Reply-To: tomf@gte.com
Organization: Downsize Inc.


People who attempt suicide -- those who are unsuccessful --
often describe the attempt as a kind of logical conclusion.
The intensity of the act orders their thoughts and they see all
the events of their life as having one purpose, all playing
a role in bringing them to the point of suicide.  Even those
for whom it was an act of desperation feel that it was
somehow predestined.  One of the first things you have to do
to help an attempted suicide is convince them that this is not so.

The woman received a pig's liver, transplanted onto her own failing
liver.  She was a woman in early adulthood.  The papers talk about
how unusual it was that a pig's liver was used.  Most people think
of her only as a radical long-shot medical experiment that failed.
She probably didn't drink heavily.  Her death was a tragedy, but an
understandable one.  No one really expected the operation to work.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: HowDoYouDoIt? (Was: Contest Time Kiddies)
Followup-To: alt.peeves,alt.nonsequitor
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 17:42:39 GMT

<In article <1992Oct10.215018.6653@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:

<   Well the biggest difference between Geoff and Myself
<   is that He can NOT pronounce his NAME, and I CAN.

	Ok, how do *you* pronounce Geoff's name, AnDrieuxieux?
From: mattb@ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: you may now drink champagne on me
Date: 5 Oct 92 18:15:27 GMT
Reply-To: mattb@olympus.ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

(D. Glenn Arthur Jr.) writes:
>Some time back I had an idea for a scene in a science fiction movie.

>A car pulls up to the curb and parks.  The driver, wearing a helmet
>and leather jacket, flips a switch on the steering wheel, and the
>car shimmers and fades, to be replaced by a motorcycle.

More like too little, too late. A couple of Bud Light commercials beat
you to the screen (Beer truck mutates into Can-Am race car,etc.). Your scheme
would be a great solution to the urban parking problem, though.

It would also be fun if you could flip a switch and have your vehicle turn
into a companion of your current preference. 

Matt
(I must have seen that Gap jeans commercial too many times.)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mneeley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Neeley)
Subject: apology (Re: How long has it been?)
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 19:17:57 GMT

I am truthfully sorry for cross-posting this thread to a.r.c.
I should have known better.  My punishment, as you can see,
is to be subjected to their mindless drivel until the thread
dies down.  I shan't do it again.

	Mark

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box)
Subject: Re: Whats the point???????
Followup-To: misc.test,misc.jobs.offered,talk.bizarre
Summary: i am really stupid
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Keywords: die die die die dye
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 18:42:07 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.160511.570@dct.ac.uk> mcsbc3ktp@dct.ac.uk (Kirk Potter) writes:
>Can anyone tell me why BIC byro pens have a little hole in the side of them??
>
>#############################################################################
># Kirk P at D.I.T. (Dundee Institute of Technology, Dundee, Scotland, U.K.) #

	i would assume the little hole is to prevent the formation of a
vacuum as the ink leaves the pen and marks the page. however, in your
case, the small hole is for you fuck and screw all your live long days you
ignorant bastard. piss off.  ciao, etc.

--
	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
               "i am such a stupid,ignorant son of a bitch.
                           please kill me now."
               me, last month when i had a cc.utah.edu acct.
From: Julian (NB Forever)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Serene display of bushes
Date: 11 Oct 1992 20:40:04 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: waldbyjf@nextwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: o233-18.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

disguises the steel knife with the camouflage handle as it hurtles into
the side of your vision and then on into the side of your body.

Twisting cold steel between your ribs pierces at your stomach, your
appendix contracts. Cold cold steel running with warm warm blood.

Collapse into the bushes, where your body is dragged from view and again
the scene returns to peacefulness. Beautiful bushes and trees with 
leaves turning to red.

--
Blue water sleep death
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: Debate
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 17:15:16 GMT

In article <1992Oct14.131013.22904@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:

>Was anyone else hoping Quayle and Gore would actually get into a fistfight?

If they did, who would the Secret Service arrest?

-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"...I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down, then I
thought 'One of us is in real trouble'." Davey Allison, re: a 150MPH crash
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Imminent dearth of Usenet predicted (Re: jws & "new light")
Date: 8 Oct 1992 04:50:38 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc4.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton) says:
                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>J.S. Bach had 15 kids.
>And one hell of an organ, apparently.

 bhoughto@sedona.intel.com -- anagram (@=a)
************************************
   Bach's tool, in one tough dame!
************************************

-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: heim@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JOHN HEIM	)
Subject: Re: election
Organization:  University of Wisconsin Academic Computing Center
Date:  7 OCT 92 14:37:30    

In article <1992Oct4.005426.1@cua.edu>, 43wendel@cua.edu writes...

>Rush Limbaugh for president
   of the "Rush Limbaugh Fan Club"

JGH
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Obviously not fans of Rush
Date: 14 Oct 92 18:42:30 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <1992Oct13.232905.4446@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box) writes:
>>I hope you're kidding--this is alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, not alt.fan.rush
>>The crossposting problem gets out of hand here :)
>>
>>Simon
> 
> 	WAY TO GO RIGLER!  what a loser. he fell for it hook line and
> sinker!  i laughed aloud after reading this!
> --

How old are you?

Ace

> 	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box)
Subject: my furnace
Followup-To: alt.job.gooley,to.wasatch,talk.bizarre
Summary: it sure gets cold at night
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Keywords: ice
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 92 17:31:33 GMT

ya know, at night when it gets cold and my furnace is not working it gets
sort of cold inside my house. cold. the furnace works, it's just that the
pilot light went out. the pilot was only lit for three days and ten it
goes out. what the hell. if i were indeed capable of relighting the pilot
things wouldd not be so bad. however, try as i may, i cannot get it to
light using the instructions provided. this would not be so bad if we had
a maintenance person who cared that we are freezing at night. so, it takes
about four days to have the light relit. right. this time i told the guy
to leave directions on how he exactly relights the pilot so that i might
attempt to do so as well if necessary. i have this weird feeling that i
was doing everything right but for some reason it just won't work for me.
it doesn't really matter to much as long as i get some heat and i don't
have to freeze in the morning. oh joy. have a lovely warm day. ciao etc.


--
	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
               "i am such a stupid,ignorant son of a bitch.
                           please kill me now."
						          "React with this!"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton)
Subject: Re: the second presidential debate
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 14:21:28 GMT

In <1bl6ovINNbqi@terminator.rs.itd.umich.edu> ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano) writes:

>his wasn't as long
>as mine, but that's
>not what counts.

PonyTailSizeWars.  I defy you.

-- 
ben
fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
This article is shareware.  If you like it, please send me $20.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jra@lawday.DaytonOH.NCR.COM (John Ackermann)
Subject: Re: richh misses his big chance
Organization: NCR Corporation - Law Department
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 13:08:41 GMT

gypsy@alembic.acs.com (drunk in the snow with a gun) writes:

>richh is in town this weekend, so i was
>going to take him to the tastee diner for
                          ^^^^^^^^^^^^
>dinner.  but now i'm not, because richh

Would that be the famous 29 Tastee Diner in or near Fairfax?

Had breakfast there, sorely hung-over, the morning I got married.  Great
eggs, strong coffee.  The waitress had a tatoo on her arm that said:  
"Born to Raise Hell."

I was polite, and left a generous tip.
-- 
John R. Ackermann, Jr.        Law Department, NCR Corporation, Dayton, Ohio
(513) 445-2966		      John.Ackermann@daytonoh.ncr.com
Packet Radio: ag9v@n8acv      tcp/ip: ag9v@ag9v.ampr [44.70.12.34]
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: my mission
Date: 16 Oct 1992 07:57:37 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Oct16.054457.8777@news.Hawaii.Edu> rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (80 Hours) writes:
>
>I suddenly remembered the Alamo, and Sancho Panza's reign of terror.

What a black day that was!

Fortunately, the brutal caudillo was gunned down a week later,
while gazing at the apparently-mesmerizing sight of a Texas
windmill farm just south of modern-day Austin.  After his
humiliating defeat by the forces of Sam Houston at the battle
of La Mancha, he had fled for Mexico on a burro, disguised as a
migrant farmworker.  But he ran afoul of the intemperate
windmill farmer, who mistook him for a Salvadoran refugee, and
slew the unfortunate dictator before he had the chance to show
his forged green card.  

As Panza died, he was heard to utter the words, "Ah, Dulcinea!
Que dolor!  Los gigantes me han matado!", which most linguists
think to be an obscure incantation in the Veracruz santeria
rites; though some disagree, pointing out that some records, of
dubious authenticity and chronology, show Panza's Minister of
International Trade and Technology to have been named Rafael de
Dulcinea, and suggest that Panza was referring to the ill-fated
Mexican analog to the Manhattan Project, Proyecto Gigante.

c
From: by712@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Mark E. Bradley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Please Help
Date: 8 Oct 1992 17:53:11 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
Reply-To: by712@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Mark E. Bradley)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc4.ins.cwru.edu



In a previous life, kingsley@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com (Kingsley Morse) says:

>              Please answer these 9 questions and return.
>
>1.) Do you think equal rights for men and women is generally a good idea?
>Other                [/]

Define "generally" in the context of what other officer might have turned the
tide against the South.  Also, I have no need to diet and I don't trust any
artificial sweetener so I waive my rights.  My mom loves it tho.

>2.) Are you pro choice?
>Other                [/]

Currently I'm unemployed.  I'd like to find a job that allows me to program
C and X on Unix machines.  Keep this crap off misc.jobs.wanted.

>3.) Are you in favor of adoption?
>Yes                  [/]

My future mother-in-law has adopted two boys, Darrell and Deandre.  They are
cute and fiesty and pronounce "truck" as "pwuck".

>4.) Do you think men should be allowed to legally terminate their parental
>rights and responsibilities before fetal viability?
>Other                [/]

I think Divorce Court is a truly tasteless show.

>5.) What sex are you?

I am not a sex.

>6.) How old are you?
>19 to 65           [/]

I can't be more specific than this.

>7.) What religion are you?
>Other              [/]

I am not a religion.

>8.) What political party are you affiliated with?
>Other              [/]

Any party where the candidates use the end of a sentence to put a prepositione
at.

>9.) How many years of education have you completed?
>Grade School       [ ]
>High School        [ ]
>College            [ ]
>More               [/]

All the above, plus nursery school, kindergarten, and a summer class.
My SA

BREAK IN 9
]LIST 10

10  RETURN

]GOTO 10


"GRRAB AHOLD MATEYS--"
From: by712@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Mark E. Bradley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Short Shameful Scavenge
Date: 8 Oct 1992 18:21:37 GMT
Organization: Rabbits for Pets or Meat
Reply-To: by712@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Mark E. Bradley)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc10.ins.cwru.edu



When I take chicken out of the oven I spend 10 minutes scraping and eating
the drippings.

When I make pork chops I eat all the kron*chiz first.

Crumbs ALWAYS take precedence over the actual meal.


"WHY?  BECAUSE IT'S THE LAW, THAT'S WHY..."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mbur@nyx.cs.du.edu (MAC)
Subject: Re: stopping the plague
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 23:25:10 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.183730.17444@Princeton.EDU> greg@phoenix (greg Nowak) writes:
>In article <1992Oct7.072903.13144@news.Hawaii.Edu>, rigler@galileo (80 Hours) writes:
>}	What I'm trying to say is:  You're boring, Greg.  You don't need to 
>}tell us the sky is blue over and over again.  Why not tell us something we
>}don't know because we never thought of it (because it's not even conceivable)?
>}We're here to blow off steam because its the only place on Earth you can do 
>}it without getting your ear pinched by your mother or Tipper Gore.
>
>Oh GOODY. Can we go back to talking about ABORTION now?
>
>}                  "I flamed Greg Nowak"  <--->  "I shot Jesse James"
>
>This is a CLUE. This is a genuine CLUE. Had this been a test...


Is it just me, or is Nowak just like the little, dirty faced, snot nosed kid
at the playground who wouldn't shut up until you threw him on the ground,
gave him a weggie and stuffed dirt in his mouth?  Nowak, several t.bers
have given you a weggie.  Learn from the kid at the playground.


TTFN
M - Please pass me the Horn antenna.
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Short, shameful tourism
Date: 16 Oct 92 14:04:17 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


Today I set my watch by the one o'clock time signal from the Nelson
Monument on Calton Hill. 

-- Ken "no-one came near me" Johnson       <-- local joke




-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
From: dfqfrby@shoes.BELL-ATL.COM (Connor)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Date: 7 Oct 92 15:25:48 GMT
Organization: Bell Atlantic NSI

In article <1aikh1INNn4p@fido.asd.sgi.com>, cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:

> ---
> I would really like to have an LSD flashback.  I keep 
> listening to "St Elmo's Fire" hoping for one.  It would 
> be transcendent and luminous and electrical and moving
> and wonderful.  Just like the original.
> 
> Free fun, I say.
> 
> I would particularly appreciate it if it happened during
> a product release meeting.  I consider this wish to be a 
> sign of mental health.
> 
> ---
> c j silverio
If you really wanted one you could have it. You don't even 
have to have done LSD (like Jimi says...not necesarily stoned)
You just get into a kind of Zen relaxation and realize 
everything is an illusion... the only reality is in your
interpretation. However you must remember that is your reality
not necesarily the next entities.
From: chrisl@sancho.sybase.com (Xian the Drive)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: What wonderful responses (was Re: Tsk, tsk class)
Date: 12 Oct 92 15:48:31 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.143410.3393@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil>, rdc30@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Code-03 LCDR Michael E. Dobson) writes:
		{deeee-leted}
|> 
|> Mike "and I thought you guys at least would get the joke" Dobson


OH YES THAT IS VERY LOGICAL MISTER `RDC30'<---!!!

HA HA HA ROGER DAVID CARASSO I GET YOUR VER CLEVER JOKE NOW BY.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mbur@nyx.cs.du.edu (MAC)
Subject: Re: Dave Winder
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 14:48:59 GMT

In article <3118@evil.demon.co.uk> satan@evil.demon.co.uk (satan) writes:
>
>
>Dave Winder is of the devil, I am the lord god Satan and David is my child.
>
>
>+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
>|.nemA                                |   6   |                        | 
>|live morf su reviled tub             |   |   |  Ye are of your father |
>|noitatpmet onti ton su dael dna      |   |   |  the devil, and the    |
>|su tsniaga ssapssert ohw esoht dna   | 6 | 6 |  lusts of your father  |
>|sessapsert ruo su evigrof            |   |   |  ye will do.           |
>|dna daerb yliad ruo                  |  ===  |                        |
>|yad siht su evig                     |   |   |  St. John 8:44         |
>|nevaeh ni si sa htrae no             |   |   |------------------------|
>|enod eb lliw yht                     |       |  Internet Email;       |
>|emoc modgnik yht                     |  DIE  |                        |
>|eman yht eb dewollah                 | JESUS | satan@evil.demon.co.uk |
>|nevaeh ni tra ohw rahtef ruO         |       |                        |
>|----------------------------------------------------------------------|
>|                           |  M          M          M          HATE   |
>|  N          NAZINAZINAZI  |  O          O          O          HATE   |
>|  A          A             |  L   JESUS  L   JESUS  L   JESUS  HATE   |
>|  Z  hitler  Z   loves     |  E   !   W  E   !   W  E   !   W  HATE   |
>|  I          I             |  S       O  S       O  S       O         |
>|  NAZINAZINAZINAZINAZINAZ  |  TCHILDREN  TCHILDREN  TCHILDREN  HATE   |
>|             N          N  |                                          |
>|    you      A   666    A  |------------------------------------------| 
>|             Z          Z  |                                          |
>|  NAZINAZINAZI          I  |  I AM SATAN AND I AM GOING TO FUCK YOU   |          
>|                           |                                          |
>+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
>



Cut it out Wavey.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mneeley@nyx.cs.du.edu (Mark Neeley)
Subject: Rictus Hep gives his one-line bio
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 92 21:23:57 GMT

"Been there, done that ...IN BED, and that's why I had to kill them all."

	Mark

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: wolf@cheshire.oxy.edu (Clinton Richard Wolf)
Subject: Musicians Duet Better...
Summary: And other tales of courage... 
Organization: Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA 90041 USA.
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 23:07:28 GMT

                 SIMPLE TWO-STEP GUIDE TO TALK BIZARRE
                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

1. Look at article.

2. If articles header includes more than one newsgroup, or has ANY mention of
politics in it, hit 'j'
   Do the same for any article longer than a page or any article dealing with
train rides...

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Clint, taking steps to preserve lunacy against the forces of reason...

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre