From: seid@paxvax.ee.cornell.EDU (Steve Seidman)
Subject: Keeping Females in their place (a la Anne Schaef)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Date: 26 Jan 93 00:03:14 GMT

Continuing with further summary and comments about
the book "Women's Realities" by Anne Wilson Schaef,
we'll focus primarily on her list of coping mechanisms
women have used in reaction to the WMS, and the ways
the WMS operates to "keep women in their place"

WMS = White Male System
FS  = Female System.

I'll just provide a list, and leave it up to others
to fill in the details and add more examples (or counterexamples)
for the benefit of all.


Women are in an inferior position in the WMS (a system of *thought*)
The feelings of inferiority, or inferior position lead to anger and
rage which is dealt with in some combination of the following ways:

-being a super-competant women (escape from inferiority)

-being a seductress (will be sexually cruel to men)

-being ultrafeminine (gains power over men by creating mutual dependency)

-become chemically dependent, or overweight (passive anger w/self-destruction)

-become depressed (depression used as a weapon to make others suffer as well)

        [I have to ammend this that Scheaf had better not be
        talking about "clinical depressions" because it has
        been shown that these sorts of more extreme depressions
        that have a strong physiological (neurochemical) component
        cannot possibly be related a wish that one gains some
        advantage over others by being depressed.  Clinical depressions
        are clearly too painful for anyone to find personal
        gain within it.  I'll give Schaef the benefit of the doubt
        and assume that she used the word "depression" in the
        more ordinary non-clinical sense]

-becomes neighborhood gossip [vents rage by attacking other women]

-becomes "Good Christian Martyr" to atone for "original sin"

She then discusses marriages, and all the problems caused by the
conflict of the WMS and the FS.  She notes that there are some
men who try to break out of the WMS.  It is flatly noted that
"New Age Men are wolves in sheep's clothing" (p. 65)
She says, however, there are growing numbers of men who are
sincerely struggling to break out of the WMS. "These are the
men to watch for." [anyone like that in this newsgroup?? ;-)]

Here's the techniques (called "stoppers") used by the WMS, and
male individuals,  to keep women in their place.

-imply that a woman is sick, bad, crazy, stupid, ugly, or incompetant.

        "You are really off the wall"

        "Where on earth did you come up with that idea"

        "You just don't understand, do you?"

        "You just don't know how things are.."

        "How could you possibly believe that..."

        "You've lost your mind!"

[Schaef misses a key point here in failing to note that these
messages emphasize the word *you*.  Anyone who has gone to business
ettiquete seminars will know what I'm talking about.  All these
statements have been used on me countless times, as they are typical
abuse heaped on *anyone* in an inferior postion]

let's continue with some more "stopper" phrases

-evoke guilt in woman if she talks about issues important to women in general

        "Think of the poor men! They don't have it so good either"

        "Think of all the other needy groups in the world"

        "What about  starving children, orphans, poor people in ghettos..."

-imply that race and class issues are more important than women's issues:

        "Women's movement is a white, middle-class movement, and
        real oppression is economic oppression"

[As I have posted a million times: there are *always* other issues
that are more important than the issue that someone else wishes to
trivialize.  I see this as a typical red-herring argument that has
become so common that on soc.feminism we now see women throwing
this same argument right back at men when men start to talk
about men's issues-tm ; so I'm glad Schaef pointed this one out ]

-if women become too confident and joyful then chide them for this:

        "What are you women so happy about lately?"

[personally, I think this one is rather rare, as we don't live in happy times]

-Great Humanistic leveler; WMS tries to rob women of their own
 experiences by subverting focus to similarities rather than differences.

        "Let's not talk about women's lib; let's talk about human
        liberation instead"

        "There are already too many things that divide us.  Let's
        focus, instead on the ways we are alike"

[I have found this technique common in politics too.  Typical
example would be when talking about past Euro conquest of the NEW
world.  Pawn the whole thing off to a battle between 2 major
conquering empires, neither of which are savory.  Proclaim that
"everyone is guilty", which also is commonly used by Euro's when talking
about WWII.]

Schaef claims that only white men can afford this luxury, since
they do not need to explore differences because they *already*
"run the system."

-call a woman a castrating bitch, dyke, or lesbian.

[I wouldn't want to imply, however, that these things do not exit 8-)]

-Undercut the woman's feelings, in particular:

        "You're so serious these days!  Whatever happened to
        your sense of humor"

-Use the so-called Feminine Mystique against women:

        "You are so mysterious that I can never understand you!"
        (implies "so why bother trying to understand women"

-A corallary of this is to throw a "Cesspool Question" :

        "What do you women *really* want, anyway."

        (obviously this question is too broad to be answerable)

Schaef reccomends the use of this answer:

        "If you ask that question, you will never understand the answer"

[I didn't care for that, however, because I think it unwise to
answer manipulative questions with further manipulation]

There are non-verbal stoppers as well: A hug, feigned sympathy, or an
understanding look can distract from entering a necessary conflict.
Also, touching the opponent first (women in this case) to show
who is in control: a pat on the head, an arm around the shoulders.
Also, calling women by their first name, and putting a heavy
passive hand on their shoulder.

-Turn feminism against women:

        "You are not a *true* feminist"

There are many others, I suppose, but Schaef says the common thread
is that stoppers serve to "reopen a women's cavern and abort her process"p.78.
You'll just have to read the book to figure that one out.

Well, if you have read this far; congratulations!  I'll conclude
quickly and perhaps say more later.


Steve Seidman
seid@ee.cornell.edu
q2tj@vax5.cit.cornell.edu

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