From: scottk@cs.umd.edu (Scott King Walker)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Martial Arts and Karla (was Re: Thanks, thoughts & requests)
Date: 8 Oct 92 23:57:54 GMT
Organization: U of Maryland, Dept. of Computer Science, Coll. Pk., MD 20742

In article <1992Oct6.163213.16329@SSD.intel.com> warton@ssd.intel.com (Peter Warton) writes:
>In article <Bvp5t7.K78@twwells.com> anon-1241@twwells.com (Goldberry) writes:
[ Lots Deleted for bandwidth...]

>>As a last example: I have had sort of wanted to start martial
>>arts training or get into boxing (properly coached these seem
>>like very good outlets for physical aggression, and I know have
>>loads of that, even if it's buried pretty deep right now), but I
>>have felt that I'm not ready for it yet.  I think that these
>>might well be a part of my healing some day, but that day has not
>>come yet.
>>
>
>I studied martial arts for about two years before I got into recovery.  I
>found myself being quite aggressive and I think it was good for me.  One
>bad side effect was that at night I would have Karate dreams and I ended
>up scaring my wife (then girlfriend) rahter badly.  I actually kicked her
>some nights.  I am ashamed to admit this, because I really *hate* to hurt
>people, especially her...:-(
>
>A big ehug for you Goldberry.
*hug* for both of you.

I am not sure how many people here know this, but Karla is a black
belt in Karate, or Tae Kwon Doe (sp) in particular.  This was not
a secret, but she just may not have mentioned it.  (For newcomers,
Karla, also a survivor is my recently deceased girlfriend, see other
articles, or ask someone else about all of that.)

It has been mentioned by a few helpful people that when I feel ready,
I might want to start doing more things that actively remind me about
her, that would be good for me at the same time.  I had never thought 
of myself as "good enough" physically to do something like that, but 
if I don't do it now, I won't ever be.  Anyway, I am feeling kind of
inspired and I just might do it.  It kinda feels like Karla would like
it if I did.

Karla started her training (we decided together) for two reasons.
First, to get out of the house and away from her mother, and secondly
to protect herself from her brother who would beat her up.  (Who 
started taking Karate lessons, and this was her excuse to get started.)

I am not ready to start quite yet, but I may be starting before the
semester is over.  A friend, also my Research advisor, has been thinking
of starting (again, but it was a long time ago for him) and he kind of
needs a push.. but he wants to start.  And I want to see what this is
all about.  It appears that it was very good for Karla, and maybe it
can be good for me.

Any thoughts or e-hugs gladly accepted.  If your name is Karla, the
same goes, but please sign off with more than just your first name..
it flips me out too much somtimes.  

$----------------------------------------------------------------@
The Name is King, but "Your Majesty" will do just fine, thank you!
Scott King Walker  <--  scottk@cs.umd.edu  <--  scottk@eng.umd.edu
Blessed Be the World.  Merry Meet,  Merry Part,  Merry Meet Again. 
And just WHO is this "Merry" person anyway?  Blessed Be the Earth.
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