From: Larry Margolis <margoli@watson.ibm.com>
Subject: Re: Various ramblings...
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 03:42:11 GMT
Reply-To: margoli@watson.IBM.com
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: The Village Waterbed

In  <1992Aug14.231331.4309@menudo.uh.edu>  kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
>
> Remember when Larry Margolis said ...

No.  :-)

> I believe very strongly that one cannot be happy for very long
> living a lie, that knowing exactly how the real world works and where you
> stand with respect to it is mandatory if you're to get anywhere in it.

On the other hand, taking something apart to determine how it works runs
the risk of breaking it.  If you enjoy something, you have to balance your
desire to dissect it against the risk of losing it by doing so.

> Approaching a woman I find attractive without
> knowing what I'm doing is an excellent way of getting the lesson again.

There's not much to lose in that...

> Before you say that there's not much to lose in that,

.. *provided* you don't go too far.

> consider that I managed to lose a job that way,

If I recall correctly, you were told by management to stay away from her,
and yet you persisted - entering a restricted area in the process.

> This was, of course, because I didn't take the hint of disinterest

It was more than a hint.  Hopefully, you've learned.

> Anyway, I learned from junior high, high school, and college that people
> will take advantage of you if you let them.

Many will.  Some will not.

> (for instance, I don't trust anyone to drive my car).

(Me too.)

> This will probably present considerable difficulty in a
> relationship, where such trust is required.

I've found that driving a stick shift tends to take care of this.  :-)

> I learned that people don't like other people who are somehow different from
> them.

This is a generalization.

> I learned that people don't like people who are particularly smart

People don't (generally) like people who try to show off how smart
they are

> and who ask lots of questions.

or who pester them.

> I learned that people are cruel.

Another generalization.

> But worst of
> all, I learned that people were unfathomable:  I couldn't figure them out.

Maybe you need to do more studying.

> So here I am today, alone as usual.  The only way I can learn things is
> by examining my surroundings and deriving information from my observations.

So everything you learned in school was in a lab; you derived nothing
from books?

> That's why I can't "use the Force".  It's why I'm "cold and calculating".
> It's why I can't read people.  It's why I can't use so much of that good
> advice that you guys have been giving me (and why you're probably so
> annoyed with me for saying, so often, "yes, but" :-).  It's why I *depend*
> on being correct, and thus why I'm so concerned *about* being correct.

Yes, but...  This doesn't mean you *can't* use the advice.  You might stop
worrying about being correct and just try some of it to see what happens.
Do the experiment and find out what the results will be.

> From the point of view of a potential mate, this probably doesn't look
> very promising.  :-(   I'm holding my own, but it's not easy.

Practice makes perfect.  But finding a mate won't mean that you won't
sometimes wind up holding your own anyway.  :-)

> only ones that arent't is my interest in cats, but there's little to talk
> about there,

Why?  Lots of women like cats.  If you see someone interesting in a pet
store, asking them a question about cats might be a good way to strike up
a conversation.  (And remember - you're asking as an opener, *not* because
you want to learn something about cats, so the question can be silly,
trivial, or something to which you already know the answer.)

> and my interest in music (jazz in particular), which also
> yields little to actually talk about.

Do you ever go to jazz clubs?

> one is into ballroom dancing, and he knows a few people,
> but has not offered to introduce me

Are you interested in meeting any of those people?  If so, are you going
to wait for him to offer, or have you considered *asking* him to introduce
you?

> ... value physical condition, which for me is
> relatively poor [6'3" tall, weigh 220 lbs. which is *not* muscle.

If you wanted to, you *could* do something about that.

> Hmm...this isn't nearly as long as I expected.  :-)

Could that be part of the problem?  :-)

Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
Newsgroups: soc.singles