Newsgroups: bit.listserv.politics
Date:         Fri, 24 Jul 1992 12:51:33 EDT
From:         Tim Johnson <ST402711@BROWNVM.BITNET>
Subject:      Re: pavlov's dog vs. schrodinger's cat

Gary starts warily:
>"Hey, uh, is this thing on?  Um, I just wanted to say that Tim is correct
>in saying that it's not true that the cat is both alive and dead, and that
>it involves a superimposition of states which include the 'live cat' and
>'dead cat'.  In one possible universe or eigenstate, the cat is still
>alive, but in another equally probable universe, the cat is dead.  So, the
>cat is *neither* alive *nor* dead - rather, it is a combination of all
>possibilities.

but then, growing bolder despite murmuring and shuffling off-stage, adds:
>".... By opening
>the chamber, or making any determination of the cat's condition, the collapse
>of the wave function is brought about - the ambiguity represented by a
>superimposition of different states always collapses into a single actuality.
>The fact that quantum mechanics is not currently able to give an account for
>this collapse is seen by Tim and many other physicists as a sign that quantum
>theory is incomplete, although that is not the only conclusion that has come
>from this fascinating paradox.

and finally, seeing movement from the corner of his eye, shouts as he
flees the stage:
>"Now, you'll have to excuse me...I must be running..."  (Gary ducks as two
>spin doctors try to gang tackle him, and he sprints off the stage into the
>street, pursued by Tim, more spin doctors, knowledgable high school
>geometry teachers, and scads of physicists, while it starts raining cats
>and dogs, and Neils Bohr walks by muttering something about maps...)

Tim returns to the stage with a battery of spin doctors (actually, they
are spin 1/2 doctors) in a small orbiting cloud around him.  After some
consultation, he turns to the mic and begins:

  "Um, my running mate was actually reading off a flashcard from Mrs. Smith's
second grade class.  She apparently wrote one set of correct statements
about quantum mechanics and one set of incorrect statements about quantum
mechanics.  Gary's slip-up is perfectly understandable (besides, there are
some folks in England who actually do subscribe to the explanation of
quantum mechanics which Gary mistakenly and mechanically read from the
treacherous card).

  "I'd like to remind the audience that Gary is perfectly well aware that
the *cat* is either alive or dead in this universe, and that there is no
actual collapse of wave-function upon viewing the cat.  You see, just
because the mathematics of quantum mechanics doesn't allow us to select
a single state doesn't mean that in reality the object exists in a super-
position of states.
  "While this issue of collapsing the *theoretically* existing super-
position of states has never been adequately addressed mathematically,
no one should mistake that for implying the existence of objects in our
universe which occupy a superposition of states.

  "Oh, and before you folks from the press go home, I have some pictures
here of Mrs. Smith's son engaged in some very unsavory activities.  Most
of them illegal in the majority of the 50 states.  I recommend the pictures
with the boy scouts and the rubber chicken in particular."

  And with that, H Tim Johnson clears the stage and pulls the plug.  A quick
call to G Gordon Liddy (Mr. Johnson's campaign advisor) and the squad of
cuban emigres armed with rifles and tranquilizer darts under the command
of Jim fade into the evening to hunt for the missing E Gary Olson.

                                    -H Tim
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