HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Short shameful relief
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 18:35:35 GMT

grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Blood Clot Boy) writes:
>Finally!  Someone on "Studs" who is older than I am.
>Mark "Lord of Bulges" Lippert 

Dear Mark,

With your disingenuous taste in television, I kindly implore you to 
become the discerning factor in my viewing habits.  Please find it in 
your heart to guide my mind through the maze of television programs by
recommending a visual fare for your humble apprentice.

Yours numbly,
--
mr asynchronous                                   kschnitzius@encore.com
From: dnwangus@flash.LakeheadU.Ca (Dave Angus)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: S S C
Date: 7 Nov 1992 21:52:08 GMT
Followup-To: comp.dcom.modems
Organization: Muppet Labs

I still think SSC stands for Super Serial Card


--
Dave Angus                     +         "Kundalini wants his hand back"
dnwangus@flash.lakeheadu.ca    +
From: ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: highway riding
Date: 5 Nov 1992 21:18:15 GMT
Organization: political finchhaus
NNTP-Posting-Host: helen.oit.itd.umich.edu

>In article <Bx80xK.AH8@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> ata@sage.cc.purdue.edu (ata boy) writes:
>>In article <rv81hbg@zola.esd.sgi.com> cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
>>> They cut me off so they could change three lanes in one swerve.
>>
>>I'll be working on my aim.  Next time I won't miss.
>>
>>ata boy

oh, okay.  i get it now.

it is a capital offense to publish a threat of bodily harm against the
president of the united states, but it's okay to publish threats
against other people.  this classless society never ceases to
amaze me.

/: *ata@:h/j

Is it legal for me to threaten to killfile the president?

AjD
-- 
                      ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu
"The drazy hoops, the drazy hoops! It's the blimp! The blimp!" -- DvV
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Quatloos
Date: 9 Nov 1992 03:47:00 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <BxF9C3.4I0@rice.edu> caz@owlnet.rice.edu (HWRNMNBSOL) writes:
>
>The 'Yarvin'.

Well, you've got to admit it sure beats the shit out of "HWRMNMBSOL."

c
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (The Steel General's Batsman)
Subject: Re: the FBI is after me, really
Organization: Cappo Ferra 6
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 04:01:45 GMT

aaron@space.ualberta.ca writes:

] Agent Cooper (cooper@fbi.gov) wrote:
] : pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box) writes:
] : :
] : |>A user on your system is utilizing your mail to commit a federal
] : |>offense. I am sending a copy of his correspondence to the FBI.
] : |>You should take action to prohibit this person from utilizing your system.
] : :
] : |>I have sent this letter to the FBI. Seriously. I hope that you will
] : |>understand that your suggested actions are not only unacceptable... 
] : |>they are illegal.
] : :
] : |so, anyone ever have the FBI chase after them for a usenet posting. [...]
] : :
] : |[...] oh, this was in response to an ulta-sarcastic
] : |posting about bush which i would love to repeat to you in person. [...]
] : 
] : "Ultra-sarcastic posting"? Too late to wimp out now commie libertarian
] : hippy fag boy. I's a comin'...
] 
] My gosh, Cooper really >was< taken over by the Black Lodge.
] 

no.
i know agent cooper.
i've worked with agent cooper.
that
was no

... don't tell me NOBODY thought of this.
From: crisper@deeptht.armory.com (Crisper Than Thou)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Cats and Dogs
Date: 10 Nov 92 02:42:26 GMT
Distribution: talk
Organization: The Armory, Santa Cruz (crisper@armory.com)

In article <NEILSON.92Nov2112428@seoul.mpr.ca> neilson@seoul.mpr.ca (Robert Neilson) writes:
>
>>	CATS				DOGS
>>
>
>Eat their owner if owner         Protect their owner, even
>dies without feeding them.       after he/she kicks off.
>
	The above statement about cats vs. dogs is not true. I refer you
to POST-MORTEM PROCEDURES, a forensics handbook which contains, among other
things, the photograph of a man's face. Said man died at home and his corpse
lay with naught but his faithful "protecting" dog for company for a few days.
Said dog has made said man's face resemble something akin to raw hamburger.

>
>--
>=======================================================================
>Robert J. Neilson 		 Voice:    (604) 293-5414 
>MPR Teltech Ltd.		 FAX:      (604) 293-5787  
>8999 Nelson Way,		 Internet: neilson@mprgate.mpr.ca  
>Burnaby, BC, Canada, V5A 4B5 	           uunet!ubc-cs!mprgate!neilson      
>=======================================================================

	--The Elder Dan
	"Okay, bomb. Arm yourself."

Not that a cat wouldn't do the same thing
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh)
Subject: Re: Short Shameful Confession
Keywords: smirk, sexual
Organization: Cornell Theory Center
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 01:28:51 GMT

andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon) writes:

>I talk to strangers and pet strange dogs.

I talk to strange dogs and pet strangers.

mdw

-- 
Matt Welsh    mdw@tc.cornell.edu        +1 607 253 2737
Systems Programmer, Cornell Theory Center
  "She's like jelly roll, like sculpture!"
From: heim@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JOHN HEIM	)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Huh
Date: 12 Nov 92 19:49:32 GMT
Organization: University of Wisconsin Academic Computing Center

End groups, action (<CR> h p q g): g rec.nude

Group rec.nude, action (<CR> b c d g h n p q u): ^
rec.nude access prohibited.

Group rec.nude, action (<CR> b c d g h n p q u): g rec.humor.funny

Group rec.humor.funny, action (<CR> b c d g h n p q u): ^
rec.humor.funny access prohibited.

Group rec.humor.funny, action (<CR> b c d g h n p q u): g alt.sex

Group alt.sex, action (<CR> b c d g h n p q u): ^
alt.sex access prohibited

Group alt.sex, action (<CR> b c d g h n p q u): g alt.meridith_tanner.hairy.douchbag
No such group as alt.meridith_tanner.hairy.douchbag

Group alt.sex, action (<CR> b c d g h n p q u): q
End groups, action (<CR> h p q g): g

Closing News server connection...
205 zazen closing connection.  Goodbye.
From: grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: three (3)
Distribution: na
Date: 6 Nov 92 22:50:59 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <92Nov6.090323est.47521@neat.cs.toronto.edu> fpitt@cs.toronto.edu (Francois Pitt) writes:
>  three
>
>  3
Three
Three hippies in a tree.
Three kitties under me.
Three tities on a flea.
Three plagues sent unto thee.

Note: Be aware I am really ill and have been taking many drugs
while washing them down with 151 proof Cruzan Rum.
This is not an apology this is merely a statement in truth.
While I am speaking the truth, between my sneezing and coughing,
I would like to say this is talk.bizarre.
Talk.bizarre.
Talk.fucking.bizarre.
Not talk.politics.
Not talk.bush
Not talk.misc.
Not talk.clinton

FUCKING
TALK
.
BIZARRE.

I am ill. Ill, ill, ill and for 3 goddamn days since the fucking
election I have been treated to the biggest bunch of electronic
finger pointing and "Nanny-nanny-boo-boo-we-won and waa-waa-you'll
be-sorry" bullshit I have ever had the misfortune of being forced
to PAY to have imported into my computer.

Send each other mail, post to the political newsgroups
or make it bizarre.
Bizarre.
Fucking
Bizarre.

I'm sick.
All I have is this or spanish television.
While spanish television is entertaining I like bizarre better
than entertaining.

Talk
.
Bizarre.
Got it?
Good.
If you don't I'm going to find you and cough on you.

--
"So, be a good little bunny rabbit and give | ...uunet!canetoad!grendel
 me your brain."                            | canetoad!grendel@uunet.uu.net
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] The One True Cross")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Best Thing About Being an Amoeba
Date: 10 Nov 92 18:36:09 GMT
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom


Your favorite science fiction novel is _Solaris_, by Stanislaw Lem.


--

                And for to se, and eek for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.cesium,alt.non.sequitur
From: mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU (Matt Welsh)
Subject: Re: My Favorite Molecule (or, Short Shameful Addiction)
Organization: Cornell Theory Center
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 04:43:47 GMT

In article <BxA03y.3qH@cantua.canterbury.ac.nz> mike@elec.canterbury.ac.nz (Cosmik Debris) writes:
>
>It looks like chewing gum to me!
>
>-- 
>Cosmik Debris --- "I owe money, therefore I am!"

Yer damn close, and no, it doesn't have cesium. Besides, Cesium and I 
talk a lot (a LOT, trust me) and he (she? it?) said it was okay to post
this query to alt.cesium. So chill.

mdw

-- 
Matt Welsh    mdw@tc.cornell.edu        +1 607 253 2737
Systems Programmer, Cornell Theory Center
  "She's like jelly roll, like sculpture!"
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:37385 rec.arts.books:19746
From: francis@oas.stanford.edu (Francis Muir)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.arts.books
Subject: The wonks are in: what do they read for fun?
Date: 9 Nov 1992 17:18:06 GMT
Organization: Stanford Exploration Project
NNTP-Posting-Host: oas.stanford.edu

Anything about Angels or Malcolm X.

							Fido
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com (Gerald Oskoboiny)
Subject: Vending machines are out ta get me
Originator: gerald@gerald
Date: 11 Nov 92 21:28:15 GMT
Reply-To: gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com
Organization: November is seafood month
Keywords: smirk, original

I just went to buy some M+Ms from the vending machine. All I had was a
loonie (dollar coin, you don't have them in them States), and the
machine said "exact change". Well, it didn't _say_ exact change, but it
certainly hinted at it. Just my luck, M+Ms are 90 cents. So, I put the
loonie in the "coffee" vending machine, hoping to make change (they
never return the loonie, they always give quarters, etc). I pressed
"coin return", and it only gave me 40 cents back, and sat there looking
smug, waiting for me to buy a "coffee". So I got one, and went back
downstairs to get more money.  I got 90 cents and got my bonbons.

Speaking of bonbons, I really think Americans are deprived (ssc: the first
first time I typed that, it came out as "depraved"--Freud strikes again).
They only get English on all their packaging, while everything here is
bilingual, even the cereal boxes. I can't count all the free gratuits
I've had in my cereal, when most Americans have never even seen a gratuit.

Gerald, the cunning linguist
From: dnwangus@flash.LakeheadU.Ca (Dave Angus)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: bathrooms 2
Date: 12 Nov 1992 04:46:59 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Lakehead University, Thunder Bay, Ont., Canada

Before I discovered Talk.Bizarre [TM], I used to look for the stall or
urinal with the best grafitti.  Now, thanks to Modern Technology, I can
read the same High Quality Literature on a Computer Terminal.

Now, if they only had VT100's in the washrooms (instead of in the
computer labs).
--
Dave Angus                     +         "Kundalini wants his hand back"
dnwangus@flash.lakeheadu.ca    +
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Blood Clot Boy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: What are the best grad schools for AI?
Date: 12 Nov 1992 00:20:59 GMT
Organization: The International House of Secretions
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4
Keywords: chuckle

In article <gerald.721503495@gerald> gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com writes:
*carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso) writes:
*        ^^^^^^
*>carasso,
*
*You know, your average baby can't pass the Turing test.

How about a Volkswagon?  An average one I mean.


Mark "Straight man to the stars" Lippert
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: DATE CALCS (mon - sun)
Date: 8 Nov 1992 20:02:31 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc4.ins.cwru.edu



####################################################################
   mmddyy                         .   backwards
             4                    .           
   110992 = 2 x 7 x 991           .   299011 = PRIME !! 
             2                    .              
   111092 = 2 x 27773             .   290111 = 19 x 15269 
             3                    .            
   111192 = 2 x 3 x 41 x 113      .   291111 = 3 x 23 x 4219 
             2                    .            
   111292 = 2 x 27823             .   292111 = 17 x 17183 
             5    2               .                 
   111392 = 2 x 59                .   293111 = 7 x 13 x 3221 
             2   2                .             4
   111492 = 2 x 3 x 19 x 163      .   294111 = 3 x 3631 
             3                    .             
   111592 = 2 x 13 x 29 x 37      .   295111 = PRIME !! 
####################################################################
-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: Re: CARASSO WILL RETURN (but as who?)
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 14:42:35 GMT

I wrote:
>Carasso is making annoying calls (consisting of incoherent noises) to
>me at my office.
>
>If he keeps it up, I'm gonna sic US West on him.  Heh heh heh.

Those were feedback noises, I think: he wanted a recording of my voice.

He ended up getting the one of me saying my own name (part of the
voice-mail setup here).

It's now been posted.  I had a sore throat when I made it and sounded
especially dorky.

Mark., I am Carasso's reason for existing, I sometimes think
gooley@netcom.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: eric@Turing.ORG (Eric Prestemon)
Subject: Re: The greatest country in history
Organization: The Turing Project, Charlottesville Virginia.
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 19:08:01 GMT

In article <1992Nov4.171854.25440@ncar.ucar.edu> ilana@kiowa.scd.ucar.edu (Ilana) writes:
>"Maybe what we should do," I said, "is have a law.  When a new president
>gets elected, he has to rip out the heart of the previous president,
>and eat it raw."
I like this idea, because Nixon would be the only President in recent 
history to survive the presidency.

Just a polite reminder: All-caps is kind of annoying. Tone it down, Ilana.
-- 
Eric Prestemon (ecp2z@virginia.edu) 
"Jesus saves! Gretzky steals! Gretzky scores!"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: pjf debacle
Keywords: poor pat
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 18:36:51 GMT

In article <1992Nov12.034027.13566@news.acns.nwu.edu> cbyars@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Chene Byars) writes:
>for anyone who's interested in an update; the feds showed up in happy valley.
>patrick is in sante fe, though they may have followed him there.
>some very scary men in grey suits and sunglasses have been hanging out it the
>lobby of my building. people are worried and slightly annoyed.
>is our government incredibly paranoid or justifiably cautious?
>either way, it's weird having these men wandering around. 

The Uniform Secret Suits Service is noted for its':

	Paranoia

	Disrespect for citizens' rights

	Hypertension

	Excessive armament

	Little lapel pins (watch the next tv footage of the Prez; see
	  all those people with little round pins on their lapel? USSS.)

	Absolute lack of a sense of humor

	Tendency to extreme overreaction

	Tendency to wave around the above mentioned excessive armament
	  at every loud noise

	Lack of reservations about abusing its' authority, including to
	  the point of shoving around a White House staffer in the 
	  Presidential party, in front of the news media, on one occasion.

Oddly enough, someone I went to school with joined the USSS. Maybe I'll
have a chance to chat next year at the reunion....


-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"Data sheet: HSN-3000 Nuclear Event Detector. The [NED] senses the gamma
radiation pulse [from a] nuclear weapon." As if we wouldn't notice...
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Blood Clot Boy)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Short shameful relief
Date: 7 Nov 1992 07:19:41 GMT
Organization: The International House of Secretions
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4

Finally!  Someone on "Studs" who is older than I am.


Mark "Lord of Bulges" Lippert 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.rush-limbaugh,alt.politics.clinton
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (big daddy hate box)
Subject: a retraction
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 92 17:23:28 GMT


i hereby rescind and retract all statements made by me regarding the
president and other elected officials. the post was made at a time when i
was quite happy that clinton had won. in my usual sarcastic manner i made
a suggestion that i thought was an example of extremism and which i
consider a form of humor. unfortunately another individual took my posting
as a threat to the president and other officials. this is not the case. i
should hope that everyone who reads this sees that my intent with the
previous posting was merely to cause a stir on the group alt.rush-limbaugh
and alt.politics.clinton, and as humor on talk.bizarre. 

						regards,

						pat finerty
--
	     PJF--->BIOCHEM GRAD. STUDENT--U of UTAH oh yeah 
               "i am such a stupid,ignorant son of a bitch.
                           please kill me now."
						          "React with this!"
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Interfaith marriages
Date: 8 Nov 1992 01:16:59 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <BxCs2K.2uG@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM> jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
>
>The obvious answer is to have a SubGenius minister perform the ceremony.

Or a rabbi.

Come armed; you never know, and it is encourageable to
deliver others from temptation.  You don't want to
wake up with a Mag-Lite-shaped dent in your head and
your bride in the slave markets of Tangier.

As the Talmud says, "If your friend shows you a knife,
show him your sword."

c
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: silver@xrtll.uucp (Hi Ho Silver)
Subject: Re: Vogue/Vanity pictures (was: who is madonna?)
Organization: What you won't find on my desk.
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 02:27:28 GMT
Followup-To: alt.fan.madonna,misc.test

Sayeth mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus):
$    In other circumstances, I would agree with you, but please reassure
$me on one point that has been troubling me: How can you be so sure that
$Madonna is human?

   Well, she boinks like a human.

silver "though she doesn't talk like one"
-- 
|I know that sometimes my jaw clicks when I eat.  Void where prohibited.|
|Have you seen this boy?  Lust never sleeps.  I say hurl.  Honey, I'm   |
|home. _________________________________________________________________|
|_____/ silver@bokonon.UUCP    ...!{uunet|becker|xrtll}!bokonon!silver  |
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: The Reformation
Summary: Things that make you go "Hmmmm..."
Date: 13 Nov 92 19:28:08 GMT
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5


  We just bought our daughter a copiously illustrated children's 
encyclopedia -- The Random House Children's Encyclopedia, to be precise.

  My wife was flipping through it, and came to the page entitled "The
Reformation."  The illustrations include a picture of a battle scene
from the Thirty Years' War with soldiers stabbing and clubbing people
in the streets.  The picture is helpfully captioned:
    "Battle scene during Thirty Years' War"

  In the background, people are being thrown out of a window.  This is
clarified with a line running to the following note: 
    "People were thrown out of windows during the war."

  -- educationally, Clifton

--
Home: cliftonr@netcom.com     +1 808 521 9073
Work: clifton_r@verifone.com  +1 808 625 3234
Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Have a revelation, the first one's free/Soon to be addicted to eternity" - HMR
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: josh@cqs.washington.edu (Josh Hayes)
Subject: Re: highway riding
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 23:01:27 GMT

This calls for 

JAH's Law of Freeway Driving:

If you leave adequate distance between your vehicle and the
vehicle in front of you, someone will put their vehicle into
that space, requiring you to back off, so someone can put
their vehicle into THAT space, requiring you to reach 
behind the seat and get out that bazooka that you've been
saving for just such an occasion.

Even in Seattle this happens. But only at around ten miles
an hour.

	-JAH
--
Josh Hayes, Quantitative Sciences HR-20 U of Washington
josh@mowgli.cqs.washington.edu             206 543-5004
     Don't you know that it's different for girls?
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The greatest country in history
Date: 6 Nov 1992 02:58:55 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Last of the Dinosaurs") tells some blockhead:
>
>Maybe you ought to take your own advice, blockhead.

"Blockhead."

I never understood the attraction of that word.

I mean, "shithead" is clear.  "Fuckhead" is not, but pointed enough.
"Dickhead" has pleasing double-entendres, but boils down to the same
thing.

But "blockhead"?  What does it imply?  Where are the
insinuations?  What do you see when you dream of blockheads?

For me, it's the wooden alphabet blocks I used in daycare.
A selection of letters on each side, painted and relief-cut.
As I recall I rather fancied the 'Z's.

It mounts on the neck with a swivel ball-and-socket joint.
Full mobility.  You can switch the forward character with a
quick push, a tug, a turn.

Like a Radius Pivot.

I must admit that I find the idea rather attractive.

Perhaps, in some future day, when prosthetic technology has
advanced beyond its present primitive state, I too may become
a blockhead.

c
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: John Austin <jea1@cornell.edu>
Subject: Re: zippers
X-Xxdate: Thu, 12 Nov 92 19: 08:11 GMT
Nntp-Posting-User: jea1@cornell.edu
Organization: BTI
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d9
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 19:03:03 GMT

In article <1992Nov12.173309.28672@ncar.ucar.edu> Ilana,
ilana@kiowa.scd.ucar.edu writes:
>I just noticed last night that my fake Gore-Tex pants that I wear
>on my ride to work have a double zipper on the pocket, the kind that's
>on sleeping bags so you can open them from either the inside or the
>outside.  
>
>It's nice to know that if I ever get accidentally zipped inside my 
>pocket that I can get out by myself.
>

Just out of curiousity, does the other side of the zipper become useful if
you turn the pants inside out into the pocket lining?  I recommend trying
this sometime when you are not actually wearing the pants.

Helpfully,

John Austin  jea1@cornell.edu

no sig
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: richh@netcom.com (richh)
Subject: Re: City Driving Observation #27
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 01:00:48 GMT

In article <MJD.92Nov10132907@saul.cis.upenn.edu> mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] The One True Cross") writes:
>
>    In fact, the lights turn out to be timed for *all* sufficiently
>great speeds S that exceed some minimum magic value.  You can prove this
>rigorously, but it's quite clear: If you go fast enough, you can zoom
>from one end of the city to the other before *any* of the lights have a
>chance to turn red.
>

But had my friend said *that*, he wouldn't have been at all funny.
Merely pedantic.

RICHH
--correct, but pedantic

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: grahame@demon.co.uk (Grahame Davies)