From: alizard@pil
Newsgroups: alt.pagan
Subject: That Real Old Time Religion (2 of 4)
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 92 01:19:38 PST

I was singing Hari Rama              We will pray with those Egyptians
With my friend the Dalai Lama        Build pyramids to put our crypts in
'Til they dumped us in the slammer   Cover subways with inscriptions,
But that's good enough for me        which is good enough for me.....!

One-eyed Odin we will follow      We will pray to Zarathustra
And in fighting we will wallow    And we'll pray just like we usta
Till we wind up in Valhallow      I'm a Zarathustra boosta!
Which is good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

Hare Krishna gets a laugh on         I'll arise at early mornin'
When he sees me dressed in saffron   When the Sun gives me the warnin'
With my hair that's only half on     That the Solar Age is dawnin'
But that's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!

We will sing a verse for Eris           Of Great Murphy much is spoken
(Golden apples for the fairest!)        For his Law shall not be broken
Though she sometimes likes to scare us  It's not pretty when he's woken
But she's good enough for me!           Things go wrong for you and me!

We will sing for great Diana         If your god of choice is Squat
Who will teach of love and honor     Well then trendy, man, you're not -
But you really gotta wanna!          But you'll get a parking spot!
'Cause she's tough enough for me!    And that's good enough for me!

We will venerate Bubastis            Call Him God, or call him Allah
'Cause my cat walked up and ast us   The priest will take your dollah
(Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!)     Easy living from -your- follah-
But it's good enough for me!         -wers, but sorry, -not- from me!

I'll sing some songs to Lilith,      Now Danae was sweet as flowers,
Not so young, and not so girlish,    She was into golden showers;
and She's always PMS-ish,            And that showed her Zeus' power
but She's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

And what about this Bacchus,         Diana is a little spikey
Who lives just to raise a ruckus?    And she is a little dyke-ey
Loosens women so they'll f*** us,    You don't have to be a Psych-e
Well, that's good enough for me!     To know that's right for me!

Lilith wears a lacy nightie        That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers
And She is a little flighty        Fighting demons in his callers
She will get you all excite-y      Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS!
She's wet-dream enough for me!     And that's good enough for me.


  "That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

With the aid of my athame           Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan,
I can throw a "double-whammy"       He's too square to be a pagan,
(And can slice and dice salami!)    Let's all vote for Carl Sagan!
So it's good enough for me.         He's good enough for me.

We will worship with the Fundies       L. Ron Hubbard liked precision
With their itchy hair-shirt undies     And he founded a religion
If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy,"     That has caught a lot of pigeons
Then it's good enough for me!          And it's good enough for me!

We will worship Holy Ford              We will worship with the witches
Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord               'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches
But the Alphas might get bored         And they scratch us where it itches
A Brave New World for you and me!      And that's good enough for me!

There are those who follow Crowley     Some folks pray to the Orishas
Tho the stuff that he held holy        Tho their humor can be vishas
Turn your your brain to guacamole      When they grant your stupid wishas
But he's good enough for me!           But they're good enough for me!

There are those who scream and hollar  There are those who worship Satan
And get hot under the collar           And are just anticipatin'
For their god, Almighty Dollar,        Armageddon's conflagratin'
Who is good enough for me!             That ain't good enough for me!

There are those who worship no gods     Some folks worship the Kachinas
For they think that there are low odds  Some folks worship the Kachinas
That the god-seers aren't drunk sods    They look like "deus ex machinas",
But they're good enough for me!         But they're good enough for me!

Some folks worship all of Nature            We will read from the Cabala.
Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher        Quote the Tree of Life mandala
They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher  It won't get you in Valhalla,
And they're good enough for me!             Yet it's good enough for me.

Some folks pray to the Great Spirit   There is room enough in Hades
Most folks just cannot get near it    For lots of criminals and shadies
So they hate it and they fear it      And disreputable ladies,
But it's good enough for me!          And they're good enough for me.

To the tune of Handel's "Largo"      Praise to Popacatapetl
We will hymn the gods of cargo       Just a tiny cigarette'll
'Til they slap on an embargo         Put him in terrific fettle
And that's good enough for me.       So he's good enough for me.

We will drive up to Valhalla         We will all bow to Hephaestus
Riding Beetles, not Impalas          As a blacksmith he will test us
Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles"     'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
And that's good enough for me.       So he's good enough for me.

We will sing of Iluvatur,             We will sing of Foul the Render,
Who sent the Valar 'cross the water   Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender
To lead Morgoth to the slaughter      In his cave in Kiril Threndor--
And that's just fine with me.         They're both too much for me.


                  (more)



  "That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

We will sing the Jug of Issek,         Of Lord Shardik you must beware;
And of Fafhrd his chief mystic,        To please him you must swear;
Though to thieving Mouser will stick,  'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,
And that's good enough for me.         And that's good enough for me.

You can dance and wave the thyrsos     Let us celebrate Jehovah
And sing lots of rowdy verses          Who created us "ab ova"
Till the neighbors holler curses,      He'll be on tonight on Nova
And that's good enough for me.         'cause he's good enough for me.

We will go to worship Zeus           Let us sing to old Discordia
Though his morals are quite loose    'Cause it's sure she's never bored ya
He gave Leda quite a goose           And if she's good enough for ya
And he's good enough for me.         Then she's good enough for me.

We will sing a song of Mithras       Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu
Let us sing a song of Mithras        Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you
But there is no rhyme for Mithras!   Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you
Still he's good enough for me.       And that's good enough for me.

We will go to worship Kali           Let's all listen up to Jesus
She will help us in our folly        He says rich folks like old Croesus
She'd be quite an armful, golly!     Will be damned until Hell freezes
And she's good enough for me.        And that don't sound good to me.

Let us watch Ka.ka.pa.ull            Let us do our thing for Eris
Frolic in her swimming pool          Goddess of the discord there is
Subjecting chaos to her rule         Apple's golden, it's not ferrous
And that's all right with me         And that's good enough for me

Of the Old Ones, none is vaster
Even Cthulhu's not his master
I refer to the unspeakable *-----*  (well, do YOU want to say it?)
and that's good enough for me

Let us worship old Jehovah          Let us sing for Brujaria
All you other gods move ovah        Though the blood's a lot less cleaner
Cause the one God's takin' over     It's not Christian Santaria
And it's good enough for me         So it's good enough for me

Timmy Leary we will sing to         We will worship Sun Myung Moon
And the things that he was into     Though we know he is a goon.
(Well, at least it wasn't Shinto)   All our money he'll have soon.
And that's good enough for me.      And that's good enough for me.

We will pray to Father Zeus         We will go down to the temple,
In his temple we'll hang loose      Sit on mats woven of hemp(le),
Eating roast beef au jus,           Try to set a good exemple [sic],
And that's good enough for me.      And that's good enough for me.

We will finally pray to Jesus,      We will all go to Nirvana
From our sins we hope he frees us,  So be sure to mind your manners
Eternal life he guarantees us,      Make a left turn at Savannah
And that's good enough for me.      And we'll see the Promised Land.


                  (more)

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