From: an2119@anon.penet.fi
Subject: Part II Sex & Love Addiction
X-Anonymously-To: alt.recovery
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 03:21:24 GMT

Sex and Love Addiction:
20 Questions for self diagnosis  (of 40)  continued (21-40)

The following question are designed to be used as guidelines to identifying
possible signposts of sex and love addiction.  They are not intended to
provide a sure-fire method of diagnosis, nor can negative answers to these
questions provide absolute assurance that the illness is not present.  Many
sex and love addicts have varying patterns which can result in very
different ways of approaching and answering these questions.  Despite this
fact, we have found that short, to-the-point questions have often provided
as effective a tool for self-diagnosis as have lengthy explanations of
what sex and love addiction is.  We appreciate that the diagnosis of sex and
love addiction is a matter that needs to be both very serious and very
private.  We hope that these questions will prove helpful. 

21. Have you ever threatened your financial stability or standing in the
community by pursuing a sexual partner?

22. Do you believe that the problems in your "love life" result from not
having enough of, or the right kind of sex?  or from continuing to remain
with the "wrong" person?

23. Have you ever had a serious relationship threatened or destroyed because
of outside sexual activity?

24. Do you find yourself flirting or sexualizing with someone even if you do
not mean to?

25. Do you feel that life would have no meaning without a love relationship
or without sex? 

26. Do you feel that you would have no identity if you were not someone's
lover?

27. Does your sexual and/or romantic behavior affect your reputation?

28. Do you feel uncomfortable about your mastrubation because of the
frequency with which you mastrubate, the fantasies you engage in, the props
you use, and/or the places in which you do it?

29. Do you have sex and/or "relationships" to try to deal with, or escape
from life's problems?

30. Do you engage in practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc., in ways
that bring discomfort or pain?  Do you find yourself needing greater and
greater variety and energy in your sexual or romantic activities just to
achieve an "acceptable" level of physical and emotional relief?

31. Do you need to have sex or "fall in love" in order to feel like a "real
man" or "real woman"?

32. Do you feel that your sexual and romantic behavior is about as rewarding
as hijacking a revolving door?  Are you jaded?

33. Are you unable to concentrate on other areas of your life because of
thoughts or feelings you are having about another person or about sex?

34. Do you find yourself obsessing about a specific person or sexual act
even though these thoughts bring pain, craving or discomfort?

35. Have you ever wished you could stop or control your sexual and romantic
activities for a given period of time?  Have you ever wished you could be
less emotionally dependent?

36. Do you find the pain in your life increasing no matter what you do?  Are
you afraid that deep down you are unacceptable?

37. Do you feel that you lack dignity and wholeness?

38. Do you feel that your sexual and/or romantic life affects your spiritual
life in a negative way?

39. Do you feel that your life is unmanageable because of your sexual and/or
romantic behavior or your excessive dependency needs?

40. Have you ever thought that there might be more you could do with your
life if you were not so driven by sexual and romantic pursuits?


If reading through these questions has brought home to you the fact that
your sexual activity, romantic behavior, or emotional involvements may be
suspect, what now?

First of all, rest assured that you are not alone--that many of us have
lived out addictive patterns highlighted by these questions, and have found
recovery through Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.  If there are regular
S.L.A.A. meetings in your area, attendance at these meetings will bring you
into contact with recovering sex and love addicts.

In the event that you know of no such meetings, we encourage you to write
to:

S.L.A.A.
P.O. Box 529, New Town Branch
Boston, MA   02258

In response we will forward to you whatever meeting information we have for
your area, or the S.L.A.A. contact person nearest your location.

Above all, know that recovery is possible, and that a path to recovery does
exist which can be shared.  
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