HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The Eyes Are Everywhere
Date: 14 Dec 92 12:42:37 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <Bz8ysE.7n1@dcs.ed.ac.uk> pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley) writes:
~Quoting bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Steve Spoogeson) in article <1992Dec12.023626.24072@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>:
~>In <Bz3n45.M4K@dcs.ed.ac.uk> pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley) writes:
~>
~>>>Bum banging.
~>
~>>You were born at the wrong time in the wrong place, Jeremy.  You could
~>>have had a good laugh as people were herded into gas chambers at
~>>Auchwitz.
~
~>What AIDS has to do with Nazism _I'LL_ never know.  But it is the metaphor
~>of choice for the weak mind.  I had expected better of you, Paul.
~
~Yeah, I'd probably have expected better of me too, I don't think I can
~even spell Auschwitz.  It's just a sodding good insult ...

Im gegenteil, mein Freund, it's the most hackneyed of foolish jibes,
lacking even the sting of a dick-size flame.

Incidentally, Alex: I have not, to my knowledge, ever met Paul. The only
things I know about him and his Perverse Practices I have learned in this
Forum, so any comment I might make on the subject is just as relevant to
a world community as it is to the eduni community. That relevance might
be zero, but it's the same zero for everyone.

TrulyUniversalPeeve: Going to the doctors - by the time you've gotten
around to finding a time to go to the doctor,  whatever was wrong with
you has cleared up.




-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

This message cost the net hundreds if not thousands of dollars.
Bloody good value if you ask me.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: this is great!
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
	<1992Dec15.024407.14589@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 23:31:07 GMT

>>>>> On Tue, 15 Dec 92 02:44:07 GMT, bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) said:

Bill> Peeves:  The Encyclopaedia Britannica guy.  The Psychic Friends Network.
Bill>          There are more...

The SNL guy had it right when he said "this guy needs a serious beating".

Peeve: PCs. Not Politically Correct. Privileged Characters. The folks 
       who are not required to use their turn signals. The rules are
       for everyone else..
L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
I saw God. He rides a motorcycle. He's coming back soon, and He's real pissed.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bickham@msc.cornell.edu (Scott Bickham)
Subject: Santa's Little Whistlers
Organization: Cornell-Materials-Science-Center
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 17:35:35 GMT

Peeve: If it's not bad enough having my ears assaulted by Christmas
music when I go shopping for the obligatory presents, the past few
days these same carols are being whistled by several people in our building.
I don't know what it is with these guys - it's obvious that I didn't spend 
most of the weekend here for pleasure, so what makes them think that I 
*want* to listen to their off-key whistling?

Peeve:  Oversalting the roads.  It's unfortunate that so many transplants
to the East Coast from other countries such as China and California
don't bother to learn how to drive on ice-covered roads.  As a result,
the city is forced to pour copious amounts of salt and sand on the roads
to prevent accidents and lawsuits because these BDI's think the best way
to stop on ice is by slamming on the brakes.  I thank them from the
bottom of my heart for the film of slat covering my car and for my rusty
exhaust system.

!Peeve:  At least the holidays will give me a chance to get my car on
the open road and away from stoplight ridden city streets.

Scott
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: this is great!
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 02:44:07 GMT

Peeves:  The Encyclopaedia Britannica guy.  The Psychic Friends Network.
         There are more...
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:18398 alt.angst:4854
From: library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst
Subject: Re: Fuck Christmas
Date: 16 Dec 92 10:16:00 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK
Originator: library@merlin.comlab

In article <1992Dec12.065144.16244@timesink.chi.il.us> harry@timesink.chi.il.us (Harold Platypus) writes:
>In <lier0bINN6p2@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>
>>[tear jerking blithering cropped]
>>>rest of the world still believe... then she smiled and said   
>>>	"Daddy... I Love You"
>>
>>Did you unzip you fly and say "Prove it?"
>>
>You're one twisted motherfucker all right...

I realise it is coming up to Christmas but is there really a need for this
obsequiesness. If you want to compliment Drew I suggest you mail direct rather
than wasting bandwidth. 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: raj@netcom.com (Roger Lee)
Subject: Re: US defeat, again?
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 08:45:13 GMT

In <lii23vINNmum@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>Peeve: News team "happy talk."

!Peeve: Remote control channel changers...
-- 
 /=================================================\
// raj@netcom.com      Missed it by >< That much   \================\
||                                                                  \\
|| How do YOU spell SHAME?  V-O-T-I-N-G- -F-O-R- -Q-U-A-Y-L-E       ||
||                                                                  ||
|| Come one, Come ALL! Come join me in the Church of Appliantology  ||
\\                   L. Ron Hoover                                  //
 \==================================================================/
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Fuck Christmas
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 21:40:58 GMT

In <machala.724349459@delphi> machala@spdc.ti.com (King Mosher) writes:

>>drew
>>banta@abingdon.sun.com

>Peeve: Really stupid dickheads like you who think they know it all.

Oh.  You saw his GIF, then?
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Alvin Dark?)
Subject: More nomenclature (was Bleeding heart liberals)
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Jim Davenport Fan Club
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 18:45:54 GMT


In article <1g8qr8INN57d@darkstar.UCSC.EDU>, carolo@cse.ucsc.edu (Carol Osterbrock) writes:
[stuff]
        Well, actually, there was a baseball team called the
        Bums, in Brooklyn not too long ago.  They packed up and
        moved to LA and changed their name.  

Bums dey wuz, and bums dey still is, in my book. T'row da bums out!
--
Nolan "Play ball!" Hinshaw

Xref: sparky alt.peeves:18351 alt.angst:4811
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst
Subject: Re: Fuck Christmas
Date: 15 Dec 1992 08:29:56 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(F. S. Symington) writes:
>drew you are obviously an ass and don't deserve more attention than
>this:
>	I read a news article from someone that seemed to be unhappy
>    	with the season and I thought I would share a personal
>	experience that would help that person get a better feel for
>	what the holiday spirit is about. Your assault on me was
>	uncalled for and stupid. I wish you luck in life....
>	You will need it.

Let me start off, Sym, by mentioning that I'm in an exceptionally
shitty mood.  A friend, who I was trying to tutor in high-speed
navigation of Sears Point, early-apexed turn two and managed to get
the car to do a full 360 degree rotation around the roll axis when
she hit the tire wall at the exit.  I bruised my ribs and have been
popping Motrin like candy and have had a fucking ice-pack strapped
to my side all day.  That's par for the course.  What really has me
pissed off is that it'll take about a full week of work to get the
car repaired for when it has to be back on track in mid January.

Don, much to my consternation, has already mentioned the tragedy
with my family.  The only redeeming quality of my life is that my
mistress of six years moved in with me after June, Walter, Ted,
and the other kid bit it. (Or maybe Leave It to Beaver just went off
the air, I forget)

So, getting to the dogmeat of your article:  I can't believe the
number of people who accuse Geoff of being unhappy, maladjusted, or
suffering from some other false psychosis.  He needed cheering up
about as much as you need a warm ginger ale enema; that is it would
probably do both of you a lot of good but is hardly a requirement
for a stable life.

What caused me to write is this appalling tendency to recommend to
people that children are the root of happiness.  Just because you're
making up for your shortcomings by vicariously living your children's
lives doesn't mean it'll work for Geoff or for me, or that we're
even interested.

The Holiday Spirit is the most ruthless guilt trip and money grab
the advertisers can come up with.  Your kids will think you're the
scum of the earth if you can't afford every stinking toy they see in
newspaper ads and TV.  They'll treat you with less regard than the
lint they pick from between their toes if you can't cough up the
goods as well as Timmy's parents next door.

My gentle reproach was both called for and erudite.  If you think
you were assaulted, keep pushing your luck.

I don't need luck in my life.  Keen perception and cutting acumen
carry me quite well, thank you.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
 by those who have not got it."
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
From: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (Claudio.Terrorist)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Tea time
Date: 14 Dec 92 08:08:23 GMT
Reply-To: Claudio.Terrorist@ed.ac.uk (Claudio.Terrorist)
Organization: The Tea Party Of The Vicar

Geoff writes:
> 
> Now Celestial Seasonings Morning Thunder, *there's* a tea!  It 

If it behaves like the name says, it should be just right. A good tea
should reach the cup with a thunder which breaks all the glasses within
twenty miles. When you eventually dare drinking the first sip of it,
it completely annihilates the stomach, and replaces the blood with
pure caffeine (or maybe theobromine (sp?)). At which point, you're
ready to read news for 25 days without sleeping. Of course, there's no
reason to do that, as there is a natural interruption for the next
cup an hour later.

> Peeve: It's unreasonably difficult to find, at least in California.  I
> used to see it everywhere back in Hawaii, but here, I have to go to 
> health food stores to buy it.

No, this is not the stuff I mean. Health stores? I dunno California, but
here "health stores" don't have radioactive material.

ObPeeve. Health Stores. 'Nuff said.

Claudio "Just drinking the above mentioned nectar" T.
 
C.T.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Cereal Killer)
Subject: I am seriously pissed off!
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Cereal Killer)
Organization: John Deere Product Development and Pathology Lab
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 17:38:16 GMT

	Now I am fucking torqued off.  Let me set the stage, so to speak,
for this peeve.  I am a night person.  I do not enjoy mornings, and can
quite easily disable all three alarm clocks and never notice.  April does
not quite have a grasp on when I am awake and when I am asleep but looking
like I am awake, so naturally she isn't of great help.

	I had a final exam today at 9:45am.  So, I went to bed last night
at 9:45pm, right after a hot and relaxing shower.  At 1:00am I woke up,
for no particular reason, and couldn't get back to sleep.  This is a rare
happening, especially in the mornings, but I was only able to lay in bed,
breathing and otherwise giving indications of life, yet entirely unable to
sleep.  "Time to study," I thought.

	By 4:15am I was tired again, and went to bed and fell asleep with
no difficulty at all.  Finally, restful bliss.  I just woke up ten minutes
ago.  It is 11:29am, with fifteen minutes left to take that final exam.
Since my apartment is a half hours walk from the classroom, I do not
think I stand a good chance of getting there on time.  In other words, I
somehow convinced April I was awake, slept through my final exam, and
am now thoroughly annoyed at both myself and the world in general.
Personally, I am inclined to blame Mike Holmes, simply because he seems
to be the person to blame for these types of annoyances.

	One side benefit of this posting: it proves I was at home, and
since the professor is a really cool guy he might let me take the final
exam anyway.  Should he want proof that I did not consult with other
students on this exam, the time-stamp above is the proof he needs.  Well,
it isn't really proof, but it's good enough.O

	*sigh*  Coming soon to a news server near you: why final exams at
7:30 in the fucking A.M. are the work of Satan.


--
< Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu viking@iastate.edu >
<  ISU only censors what I read, not what I say.  Don't blame them.  >
<  "This isn't an answer, it's a pagan dance around a midnight fire  >
<   written in intellectual runes." -- Rich Young                    >
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:18419 alt.tasteless:14140
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.tasteless
Subject: Re: Malcolm X
Date: 16 Dec 92 22:53:25 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <lis0vdINN20a@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM writes:
>
>My precocious bulk makes it much easier to give Macaulay Culkin the savage
>buggering that he so richly deserves.


Too late, Michael Jackson got to him first.

Peeve: Michael Jackson. Get a *real* face, man!

ER
--

Heard of any plans for Malcolm XI?
-cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:18236 alt.angst:4739
From: yarvin@cs.yale.edu (Norman Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst
Subject: Re: Fuck Christmas
Date: 11 Dec 1992 14:13:34 -0500
Organization: Yale Computer Science Department
NNTP-Posting-Host: cathy.na.cs.yale.edu

symingto@iti.org (F. S. Symington) writes:
> But what do you tell a 2-year-old about the Tooth
>Fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, etc. when this is what society
>has been forcing for years? Are children still allowed to be kids?
>Or do we force the ugliness of reality on them at age 2 or 3?

The only reason you see it as "ugliness" is that you yourself were lied to
as a child, and thus still would prefer these lies to be true.  The notion
that children are more mentally delicate than adults is not only wrong, it
is the exact reverse of the truth.  Children can take in any version of the
world with perfect equanimity, whereas adults consider anything outside
their own pet notions to be distasteful.

--
Norman Yarvin						yarvin@cs.yale.edu
	"Honesty is the rarest commodity in this university."
		- V. I. Fabrikant, (ex-)Concordia U.
From: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: this is great!
Date: 15 Dec 1992 08:05:36 GMT
Organization: Up the,
Distribution: usa
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: thyphy.physics.orst.edu
Keywords: Losers

In article <1992Dec15.024407.14589@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
|> Peeves:  The Encyclopaedia Britannica guy.  The Psychic Friends Network.
|>          There are more...

Yes, yes, but you have to admit, late night ads are the best.  where
else do you find shows sponsored by *both* the NRA and a Psychic
hotline.  Where else are these shows followed by 30 minute ads for
bald spot spray-paint?  ( I love those spots.  Who says 'The Emporer's 
New Clothes' is fiction?  This is pathetic self-delusion at its best.)

Who but Pat Robertson will give  you the inside scoop on short term 
utility bonds and then cure someone of boils?  Where else will you 
find an anthropological study of male knee-jerk sexual responses (so to speak)
in the form of 900 numbers.

Where else can you see bob Costas relive a lonely childhood in front 
of the television?  You might wonder how that jerk who rear-ended
you last month got his licence out of suspension; every appeal to 
the very dregs of humanity is there for the partaking.

Where else can you see Carl Weathers in _The _Carl_Weathers_Show_?
And of course, late night TV is the home of the naive, condescending,
idiotic Public Service Announcement.  One of my favorite is the BOYS TOWN
hotline.  You're out on the streets, desperate, cold, lonely, hungry,
maybe addicted; you're out on the streets, watching late night TV.
Call us.  You can bunk with Spencer Tracy.  I am rather fond of the
heartwarming PSA's put out by the Mormans, you know, the ones so wholesome
and self-righteous you could choke on sweetness.

Miracle Diets, truck-pulls, self-help/insane-religion handbooks, these are the 
things that make America what it is.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Tim Mefford      | "We should often be ashamed of our very best
                     |  actions if the world only saw the motives 
tim@physics.orst.edu |  which caused them." --La Rochefoucauld
___________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: this is great!
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 03:39:55 GMT

!Peeve:  Jesse "The Body" Ventura.  Whadda guy!  And a former Navy SEAL, to
         boot!

Rowdy Roddy Piper's kinda cool, too.

"This stuff'll make ya a goddam sexual tyrannosaurus, like me!" - JTBV
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Subject: Privileged Characters
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 03:36:47 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Hewlett-Packard

(Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way) writes:

>Peeve: PCs. Not Politically Correct. Privileged Characters. The folks 
>       who are not required to use their turn signals. The rules are
>       for everyone else..


Privileged Characters.  Yes...

The picture: yesterday we got some snow and, with temperatures near 31, the
streets were slicker than seal snot.  This caused cars to spin out and get
abandoned by the side of the road or even in the middle of the freeway.

So about 7pm the snow turned to rain and I was attempting to go through
downtown with about 10,000 other people before it froze into a sheet of ice.
It took about two hours to go a mile and a half.  Everyone was quite polite
and civil about it.  Amazingly, no one blocked the intersections.  Some kids
in a Buick with the rear end raised and with oversized tires thought it would
be helpful to rev their engine, honk their horn, and buck the car, but it
didn't seem to help anyone go faster.

On this one road southbound there was a steady line of cars that stretched for
miles.  Of course, the inbound lanes were clear, as was the center (turning)
lane.  So two of these PC'ers decided they'd waited long enough and pulled out
of line into the turning lane, thereby conveniently passing everyone else.
At some point about a half mile ahead, no doubt convenient to them, they
switched on their turn indicators to get back in line and some people were
naive enough to let them do it.

There's the off-chance that they had some emergency to deal with, but I'd bet
they were just being assholes.

-Dave

                _  O
               {_}/|______                         . ><>
                |(( |   | ))                     .
~~~~~~~~~~~~oo&@+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~v~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:18354 alt.angst:4814
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst
Subject: Re: Fuck Christmas
Date: 15 Dec 1992 09:00:47 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(King Mosher) replies to me, saying:
>Peeve: Really stupid dickheads like you who think they know it all.

Look, Chuckles, don't confuse the fact that I know it all with my
voicing of an opinion.

If some yahoo with a need to demonstrate his semen potency spouts
off about "when" I have kids, I'll hop up on my little soapbox in a
second.  I'm not planning on having kids.  If, for some reason, the
spirits of Ortho-Novum 7/7/7 fail, abortion is still legal in this
country, and barring that, there's only about a jillion people
interested in a white child of two college educated people.

Since my original peeve never made it past the buffer zone you've
encased your brain in (You probably have kids, don't you?), let me
be more explicit: CHILDREN ARE NOT A FACTOR IN ALL DECISIONS MADE.
Life is not prime-time TV, and some really grisly things happen in
the world.  I want to be a part of that.

So stuff your muling little cretin in a Cone of Silence that they
will later resent you for, but don't expect the world to genuflect
at your whim.

Thank you, and good night.

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
 by those who have not got it."
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: I want to grow up and be a manager
Date: 18 Dec 92 22:15:36 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <1992Dec16.211112.3268@wetware.com> drieux@wetware.com
(drieux, just drieux) writes:
>It took me a whole Whopping 7.35 minutes to ask one of
>my posse to get me those specific numbers to establish
>that the MangementDroid was Several Letters Short of a Klue.
>
>Would shooting this MangementDroid be considered
>'discharge of a firearm into a public nusance'?
>
>or
>
>'a waste of good ammunition'?

Depends on the ammunition that you used. .45 would probably be a waste but
.32 would be just about right.

   don
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:18349 alt.angst:4809
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst
Subject: Re: Fuck Christmas
Date: 15 Dec 1992 07:17:40 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

In article <1992Dec11.205543.892@twg.com> nolan@twg.com writes:
>|>drew you are obviously an ass and don't deserve more attention than
>  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The word you were searching for, FS, was "punctuation."  To wit:
"drew you are obviously an ass and don't deserve more *punctuation*
than the average two year old comprehends"

And I noticed you stayed true to your word.  More later.

>Son, you're new here. Looks like you haven't lurked long enough. So I gotta
>clue for you! Peevetown ain't a nice place. Thar's mean folk here who'll be
>glad ta rip ya a new rectum fer no good reason. Thar's peevin' goin' on here,
>and gratuitous vicious flamin'. Keep up with it or git out.

Nolan, go sit in an iron lung, acquire a pacemaker, have a complete
transfusion, and whatever other steps are necessary to GET A LIFE.

If you were a practioner -- no, scratch that -- even a dabbler in
wit, I might have an iota of tolerance when you go out picking
fights for me.  Your entire gig is to say "Watch out or Banta's
gonna get you."  Fuck off, twink.

drew
banta@abingdonl.sun.com
--
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
 by those who have not got it."
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.angst