From: Chuck.Lavazzi@bbs.oit.unc.edu (Chuck Lavazzi)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: How To; Becoming a Member of the Media Elite (repost)
Keywords: elite (you too!:)
Date: 12 Sep 92 03:40:33 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Extended Bulletin Board Service


	Once again, a true mutant springs up in the midst of pinkness.  This
was originally found on alt.news.media; it don't get much pinker'n that!

In article <1992Sep11.001840.1180@mintaka.lcs.mit.edu> mcs@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu (Geek of Geeks) writes:
>Fellow Americans!
>
>Tired, are you? Of the ceaseless onslaught of the liberalfascistreactionary
>news media, with their ever wearying and stultifying rhetoric,
>of baseless lies, meanderings, uselessisms, and tripe?
>
>The ones who refuse to protray YOUR candidate of choice, in the rosy,
>benevolent viewframe, that she/it/he truthfully deserves?
>(and at the same time, pretending that the Enemy, the arch
>RepubLibertariDemocrayfish itself, is truly the candidate of Change,
>Miss American Pie, and Nice Things, when we all Know what they _really_ are.)
>
>How does one become a Media Elite, and wield the great, mysterious powers
>cast hither?
>
>In the best tradition, of the Media, one would go to school for several
>years, studying all about how journalism works, cultivating one's
>writing skills, finding a grunt-level job at a newpaper, or some other
>essential media institution, and slowly work one's way upwards,
>writing, writing, and kissing appropriate appendages of one's superiors.
>This may take a Long Time; in fact, it is intended to.
>
>But, my Fellow Americans, and Friends, it need not be the _only_ way
>to advancement, in the Forces of the Elite.
>Enclosed, is a short guide, on how you yourself might join their
>ranks, and easily become equal to any, wielding all the awesome 
>media powers, within your own bosom/torso/cephalus/(phallus?).
>
>1) Find yourself a Media Construction Tool.
>	this is the first step, and depending on your desired
>	means of media penetration, the most difficult,
>	or the most easy. if you wish to directly influence
>	the highest echelons immediately, you may 
>	a] Hijack a radio station (temporary, most likely)
>	b] form your own pirate station (until the FCC catches you)
>	c] Hijack a TV station (possibly also temporary)
>	d] broadcast your own pirate TV station (good luck)
>	b and c may require some technical assistance.
>	stay tuned, for further Postings (and send me Bail Money:)
>	or, of course,
>	d] move on to step 2)
>
>2) Realise that you already Possess an MCT of your very own
>	you are typing on it. it may be helpful to note,
>	which variety of the Tool you may Possess,
>	be it MacIbmCrayAmigaBlackbox; though it should not
>	Matter, for the purposes of this Excercise.
>
>3) Compose Your Thoughts
>	consider just what it is that you mean to say, what it is
>	that the Media Elite have neglected to say, that you Know
>	so very desperately needs to be brought out into the Open.
>
>4) Begin Typing
>	actually, at this point you probably should return to 
>	step 3), because you probably havent composed your
>	Thoughts well enough, perhaps because you havent 
>	spent Several Years practicing using your Brain
>	as the Media Elite mean to have done.
>	However, since you are goign to be a Media Elite
>	Yourself soon enough, and since you have Already
>	Proven your mental acuity by reading, and Contemplating
>	USENET, you may as well begin.
>
>	(typing in ALL CAPS, or using a truly massive Typeface
>	 may help Prove your point (as usenet postings have shown us))
>
>4) Stop Typing
>	you have to, eventually.  Know When to Say When.
>
>5) Start The Printing Press
>	a) find the ButtonSwitchKnob that turns the Printing Press ON
>	   if the press does not belong to you, it may already be on,
> 	   in which case, move to c)  or else it may be off, in which case
>	you may need to Hijack a Printing Device. (see following report
>						   for methods of Hijacking
>						   Printing Presses, Radio
>						   Stations, and TeleVision
>						   Stations)
>	b) Realise that you Already Possess a Printing Press
>	   (you may not, but if you have any sort of device
>	    connected to the Media Construction Tool, which 
>	    acts in the same General manner as a Typewriter,
>	    then you are OK. Otherwise, Hijack one. (see following report, etc.)
>	c) find the Button on the side of the keyboard, labeled  
>	   PrintScreen, or the bitmap icon with an Image of a Printing Press
>	   on it, or a switch that will Transfer control of the Printing
>	   Press to teh MCT, and push/press/pull it
>	d) repeat as many Times as needed, to print as many copies 
>	   of the Document as are needed for your purposes
>
>6) (whew)
>	Take your completed Documents, as distribute them as far
>	and as Wide as you find useful. Post them anywhere you Can.
>	Put them on bulliten boards, telephone poles, walls, 
>	Police Vehicles, Farm Animals, and any other Place
>	you can think of, where someone might see It.
>	If you are industrious, you might print Several copies
>	of a Very long Document, and actually sell them 
>	on the Street to Unsuspecting Media Dupes (the People
>	who fall Prey to the Media Elite.  You of course, 
>	as Intelligent as you are, have never been a Media Dupe)
>
>7) CONGRATULATIONS!  
>	you are Now a fully fledged member of the Media Elite,
>	and endowed with all the privilidges heretofore accrued;
>	(the rights to Tell people in Print, and en Masse what 
>	YOU think, etc.)
>
>	you are only 70 years behind the rest of the worldwide 
>	Media Establishment.  Considering 6000 years of development,
>	its not half bad.
>
>	Use Your Powers Wisely, and with Good Judgement;
>	you, after all have the same responsibilities
>	to be objective and honest and truthful, as you
>	have expected them to be; though you Know you are
>	better than they.
>
>Thank You, my Friends and Fellow Americans, and ? Bless You.
>
>
>(note to the smilily challenged; insert as many colon/parenthesis figures
> as needed for optimal chewing satisfaction)
>
>:Marc Silver (818)363-4340 /mcs@gnu.ai.mit.edu,  masilve@eis.calstate.edu     :
>:Physicist/Musician/Geek  /fifteen billion years of evolution and dragon magic:
>:perpetual student, UCSC /to produce a cosmos forever beautiful; a fraction of:
>:Santa Cruz, Terra, Sol /a heartbeat to see the cream pie flying in your face :
> 
>
>


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