HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: frank2@underdog.ee.wits.ac.za (FRANK D N)
Subject: Re: My Testes
Summary: Balls to the plagiarizer!
Organization: Wits Electrical Engineering (Undergrads).
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 15:05:09 GMT

On 7 August I sent a test message to alt.test. It was titled TESTES and read:
.
Testes, testes, one, two, three...
Oh, sorry, only two.
.
I have just found TESTES in *this* newsgroup. Can I be so bold as to presume 
that I was the inspiration for this topic?
--
David Frank       <frank2@underdog.ee.wits.ac.za>
University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jmw1388@ritvax.isc.rit.edu (Jamesa Willer)
Subject: Re: A bet!
Reply-To: jmw1388@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 16:00:06 GMT

You lose.

majes qpq Due to the current economic 'recession', I'm afraid we're
	going to have to fire one of our Pantomime wHorses ...
From: palane@iastate.edu (Paul A. Lane)
Subject: Re: stupid, blood sucking media 
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1992 04:41:08 GMT

In <1992Aug11.162829.22101@news.uiowa.edu> williams@herky.cs.uiowa.edu (Kent Williams) writes:

>1. Bush has dicked lots of women besides the Barb-meister.  He's just more
>discreet than Clinton.  As William Casey (quoted by Ollie North) once
>said, "the first principle of a good covert operation is deniability."

The first point is an interesting, if unproven assertion. The second point
is pure speculation. How do you know if the CC set in Arkansas gossips 
commonly about BC "dicking" everything in sight.

>2. I know fact 1 because Bush dicked the mother of someone I knew in
>High School during the 1980 Republican convention.  It was common
>gossip in my hometown at the time, at least among the country club
>set.

Heresey until she's willing to make a half-mil with the tabloids.

>Bush's overweening hypocrisy is extremely relevant to the election.

Not really. Both sides engage in hypocrisy.

>The man is pathological; he lies even when he doesn't have to.

Yeah. Like saying that he had a tryst would have no effect on the election.

PaL
From: hmiller@lucpul.it.luc.edu (Hugh Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: AN ANAGRAM!!! WE HAVE ONE!!!
Date: 18 Aug 92 05:07:47 GMT
Organization: Loyola University Chicago

In <1992Aug17.103843.1@cc.helsinki.fi> leisti@cc.helsinki.fi (Teemu Leisti) writes:

>In article <92229.212955SML108@psuvm.psu.edu>, SML108@psuvm.psu.edu writes:

>>>>    My favorite is:
>>>>    VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE = CRADLED QUITE A PENIS ENVY.

>>>All of you send Mr. Miller a nice thankyou email note.

>> No no, send Mr. Miller a subpoena for not properly attributing the anagram
>> to Esquire where it orginally appeared (unless of course Esquire stole it
>> from him).

>Oh come ON!  This is Usenet!

    Ahem.  I heard the anagram from a fellow camper at Rock Island State
Park, Wisconsin.  That it had originally appeared in Esquire I did not
know.  In my original post in rec.humor I did not claim authorship.
    But, yo, folks, lighten up.  Y'all are sounding as tightassed as
DannyBoy hisself.

    Anybody see the Repub ("Flogging a Dead Elephant") convention this
eve?  Pat Buchanan running down Bill Clinton for draft-dodging on a
Rhodes Scholarship while the cameras focussed on Danny.  He didn't look
too comfortable, hehheh.  And Marilyn was smiling like Sally Kellerman
with lockjaw.

    -=- Hugh
-- 
Hugh Miller         | Dept. of Philosophy | Loyola University of Chicago
Voice: 312-508-2727 |  FAX: 312-508-2292  |    hmiller@lucpul.it.luc.edu
"Read broadly, think scientifically, speak briefly, and sell the goods!"
            -- Sinclair Lewis, _The Man Who Knew Coolidge_
Xref: sparky alt.fan.dan-quayle:2719 alt.politics.bush:2228
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 09:02:25 EDT
From: <JFL4@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle,alt.politics.bush
Subject: Re: While we're on the subject: Tactical nuclear weapon wanted
Distribution: na

In article <4706@news.duke.edu>, eyc@acpub.duke.edu (EMIL CHUCK) says:
>
>heim@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JOHN HEIM       ) writes:
>:eyc@acpub.duke.edu (EMIL CHUCK) writes...
>:
>:>(I could say First Gentleman Clinton ... First Gentleman Clinton...
>:>but that would be "negative" or "sleazy.")
>:
>:And stupid.
>
>While we're on the subject, this was a quote from an interview from an
>interview Bill Clinton had with Tom Brokaw:
>        (taken from the Washington _Post_)
>"For Bush to attack Hillary is ridiculous. You'd think he was running
>for First Lady instead of for President. And I just don't think it will
>be very persuasive."
>
     Rep. Pat Schroeder, explaining why Bush wouldn't pick a female
     running mate for the 1988 ticket:  "People would say, 'We need
     a man on the ticket.'"

Jeff Luck                              -STANDARD DISCLAIMER HERE-
CES Systems Office               "We're Number One, and there's a lot
Penn State University             of idiots who don't know that...."
JFL4@PSUVM.PSU.EDU                      -George Bush, 11/02/84
From: damiller@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Dale J Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Info wanted on Dan's GPA
Date: 15 Aug 92 14:37:46 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: The Ohio State University

In article <77760@ut-emx.uucp> dbinford@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (David Binford) writ
es:
>The subject says it all.  I'm interested in his undergraduate GPA,
>graduate school, graduate GPA--basically anything in his college
>career.  If you don't know the numbers, please direct me to a source.
>Post or reply.
>--
> __^__                                                                  __^__
>( ___ )----------------------------------------------------------------( ___ )
> | / | John David Binford   | e-mail: dbinford@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu       | \ |
> | / | 2818 Nueces St. #304 | Phone: (512) 478-5116         THIS SPACE  | \ |
> | / | Austin, Texas  78705 | Height: 6'1"  Shoe size: 11    FOR RENT   | \ |
> | / |------------------------------------------------------------------| \ |
> | / |     "If life were fair, the acquisition of a large bosom or a    | \ |
> | / | massive inheritance would have no bearing on your ability to at- | \ |
> | / | tract the opposite sex, and Dan Quayle would be making a living  | \ |
> | / | asking runny-nosed children, `Do you want fries with that?'"     | \ |
> |___|                                                   -- John Cleese |___|
>(__ __)----------------------------------------------------------------(__ __)
>   ^                                                                      ^


I second the request that it be posted for public enjoyment.

thanks,

Dale J. Miller                        | "Has anyone told Bob Dole about the
damiller@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu    |  woman in Russell who talks to St.
Die Macht den Menschen jetzt.         |  Peter in her basement?" - Robert Day
From: pat@sphinx.phys.Virginia.EDU (pat walsh)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Low Wattage (was Re: Quayle for President)
Date: 22 Aug 92 19:37:13 GMT
Organization: University of Virginia Physics Department

Charles (Tarzan) Dillon writes (in response to me):

>>Criticizing the Beach Boys almost did it (this really seemed to tick off
>>the Reagans, especially Nancy...boy, did they have their priorities in
>>order, or what?)...but what finally got him canned was a remark not intended

>But you have to remember, the Beach Boys on the lawn next to the Washington
>Monument would attract the "wrong element". ;-)

>[does "wrong element" sorta imply !(family values) ? ]

>JW and the administration at the time tried to laugh it off by use of the
>"Shot myself in the foot award"  I personally (still) wish it was the
>"shot myself in the head award".

What I found perhaps most interesting about the whole incident (and what I
meant by having their priorities in order) is that Watt was a man who was
already known for his outrageous statements, none of which seemed to bother
Reagan until he criticized the Beach Boys, of whom the Reagans were apparently
big fans.  This was well expressed by an editorial cartoon at the time (sorry,
I don't remember the cartoonist), which I'll attempt to describe from memory.
It was a four-panel cartoon.  In the first panel, Watt is shown making one
of his famous remarks, like "There are two kinds of people in this country,
liberals and Americans" (paraphrase -- I don't remember these quotes
verbatim), while Reagan looks on with a sort of detached, grandfatherly
approval.  In the second panel, Watt is saying "It's not important to preserve
our natural resources since the Lord will be returning someday soon anyway",
with RR again looking on with grandfatherly approval.  In the third panel,
Watt is saying something like "My opponents are just a lot of environmental
extremists", while RR still looks on approvingly.  In the fourth and final
panel, Watt says "The Beach Boys are un-American", to which an angry Reagan
responds, "What a stupid thing to say!"

Well, maybe you had to be there.  But it WAS a funny cartoon, and it did
beautifully capture the irony of the situation.

- Patrick Walsh
  University of Virginia Department of Physics
  pw@virginia.bitnet, pw@virginia.edu, pat@gomez.phys.virginia.edu
From: DSTEPHEN@cmsa.gmr.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Dan on Spotted Owls
Date: 20 Aug 92 17:59:44 GMT
Organization: GM Research Labs

From the Detroit Free Press, Wed., August 12, Names and Faces Column, Page
8F (used without permission; note blatant liberal bias):

"Speaking of Dan Quayle, our nation's finest incumbent vice-president said this
week that a bald eagle in the hand is worth two votes for George Bush.  After
lambasting Democrats for protecting spotted owls at the expense of poor,
defenseless lumber companies, he explained, 'Obviously, you take the bald eagle
and things of that sort, of course you're going to make sure that they are
saved and that they can live and you're going to take every precaution that you
can.  But others--we just need a little flexibility.'"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: uday@adobe.com (Uday Kurkure)
Subject: Bush's Grandson's Speech
Organization: Adobe Systems Incorporated
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 17:46:19 GMT


      It was very strange that Bush's grandson would
      get so much prime time on the national television to 
      eulogize his family member. I'm for the family values;
From: leisti@cc.helsinki.fi (Teemu Leisti)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: AN ANAGRAM!!! WE HAVE ONE!!!
Date: 17 Aug 92 08:38:43 GMT
Organization: University of Helsinki

In article <92229.212955SML108@psuvm.psu.edu>, SML108@psuvm.psu.edu writes:

>>>    My favorite is:
>>>    VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE = CRADLED QUITE A PENIS ENVY.

>>All of you send Mr. Miller a nice thankyou email note.

> No no, send Mr. Miller a subpoena for not properly attributing the anagram
> to Esquire where it orginally appeared (unless of course Esquire stole it
> from him).

Oh come ON!  This is Usenet!

--  Teemu Leisti  /  U. of Helsinki, Finland  /  leisti@cc.helsinki.fi
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: glass@adcalc.fnal.gov (Michael Glass)
Subject: Re: Deficits
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-a4  
Reply-To: glass@adcalc.fnal.gov
Organization: Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory
Distribution:  world
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 00:25:44 GMT

[Long discussion of $400 billion proposed 1993 deficit omitted]

Not to disagree with any of Mr. Charlie's arguments, but I wish to
point out that $400 billion works out to approximately $1600 per capita
deficit.

In the end, $6000 may be closer to the truth anyway.  The actual deficit
has always far exceeded the proposed in recent years, so that if Bush
is *proposing* $400 billion, we can assume the reality will be much worse.

Furthermore the Republicans have traditionally been the most creative
in their attempts to reduce the yearly *reported* budget deficit, the
number which appears in the newspaper at budget-making time. 

My recollection is that it was Nixon who decided to add Social Security
to the budget totals, because the SS trust fund was running a positive
annual cash-flow, even though this money is in fact separate from the
general revenue and expenditures.  Also, who can forget Bush's
insistance that S and L bailout money be "off-budget," so it wouldn't
be subject to Gramm-Rudman limits, and wouldn't show up as part of that
year's reported deficit. 

-- Michael Glass
   glass@adcalc.fnal.gov
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: garrett@Ingres.COM (QUOTE OF THE YEAR)
Subject: Re: Molly Ivins strikes again
Summary: 
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 20 Aug 92 01:17:25 GMT

In article <19AUG92184323@adcalc.fnal.gov>, glass@adcalc.fnal.gov            writes...
>     On this afternoon's NPR national call-in show, Molly Ivins said she
>had noticed that the Quayles always look so *familiar* as a couple.  Dan
>Quayle resembles princess Diana, and Marilyn Quayle looks like prince
>Charles.
> 
>-- Michael Glass
>   glass@adcalc.fnal.gov

Does anyone know where Princess Di and Prince Charles have been the last
few days?
We may have run across the biggest incognito scandal since the Superman/
Clark Kent one. This one would have the element of cross-dressing too.

Garrett@Ingres.com
From: jsa5+@andrew.cmu.edu (Joshua M. Sabloff)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: PLEASE MOVE ABORTION DISCUSSION ELSEWHERE THANKYOU
Date: 19 Aug 92 14:14:26 GMT
Organization: Information Networking Institute, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

Excerpts from netnews.alt.fan.dan-quayle: 19-Aug-92 PLEASE MOVE ABORTION
DISCUS.. Alex Bunker@physun.physi (716)

> How did
> this looney right fringe party grab hold of power in such a large
> advanced nation I really do not know!

Ummm.... the magic of Pat Buchannan?  Dan Quayle's plastic harido? 
GHWBush's "vision thing"?

-Josh Sabloff (jsa5@andrew.cmu.edu)
"Now go away before I taunt you a second time-a!"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: williams@herky.cs.uiowa.edu (Kent Williams)
Subject: ABORTION
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 15:10:26 GMT
Organization: University of Iowa, Iowa City, IA, USA

All right, I'm the last person to act as net police, but

PRO-LIFE BUTTHEADS!!!!! GO AWAY!!!!! FUCK OFF!!!!

Go crawling back to alt.abortion and take your worthless,
god-created-the-world-in-seven-literal-days reductionist idiocy with
you!  Get a life!  Stop trying to run everyone else's!  If you want to
be pro-life, make a big pot of chili and take it downtown to the can
collecting homeless people, or go teach teenage mothers how to feed
their children, but GET YOUR PIMPLY WHITE ASSES OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!

I feel better already.


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: coolidge@speaker.wpd.sgi.com (Don Coolidge)
Subject: Re: Danny's gray sideburns: fake?
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 92 18:35:50 GMT

In article <Bt8sv7.9xL@scd.hp.com>, dianem@boi.hp.com (Diane Mathews) writes:
|> >>>Danny's gray sideburns look fake to me. Has anyone else noticed this?
|> >>>Is this an attempt to appear more mature and distiguished by dying
|> >>>his hair gray?
|>  
|> >> Am I the only one who thinks J. Danforth would look particularly cool with a
|> >> neatly trimmed beard and new-age pioneer ponytail?
|> 
|> Oh, oh, and some small roundrimmed glasses. Yes!

Wow! He'd look just like Peter Fonda! Wouldn't he love that!

Let's get him a chopped motorcycle in redwhiteandblue, and a
buddy with long hair and a fringe jacket...Dennis Hooper,
where are you! :^)

Version Number 2: Well, at least we now know for sure that
there's at least *some* grey matter around his head...:^)

Don Coolidge
coolidge@speaker.wpd.sgi.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: bunker@physun.physics.mcmaster.ca (Alex Bunker)
Subject: Re: Double messages on abortion
Organization: Dept. of Physics & Astronomy, McMaster University
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 18:37:45 GMT

In article <1992Aug21.180614.109@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> bsc7@po.CWRU.Edu (Bradley S. Corsello) writes:
>
>In a previous article, jsa5+@andrew.cmu.edu (Joshua M. Sabloff) says:
>
>
>>> it's fascinating to imagine
>>> somebody Quayle can pick for his running mate who would cause us to say we
>>can't impeach Quayle, we'd only get you-know-who.
>>
>>Ummm...  "Don't kill President Quayle, you'll put Pat Buchannan in office!"
>
>And who would President Buchannan pick?  Adolph Hitler's corpse???
>
>-- 
>Brad Corsello (bsc7@po.cwru.edu) 2L Case Western Reserve Law School
>"The Fanaticks have always had a way of affecting to run into Per-
>secution, and count vast Merit upon every little Hardship they suffer."
>^ J. Swift.  "Factum clarum, jus nebulosum."  Rex v. Haddock.


nope! Quayle/Buchanan 96-2004
      Buchanan/ROBERTSON (Pat and Pat) 2004-2012

Have a nice next twenty years Americans!
(I can see a somewhat hefty increase in the population of Canada
coming)

Alex 
(the social-democratic secular humanist)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: dks@MIT.EDU (dks)
Subject: I'm confused again: why bash Jack F. Kemp?
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 20:50:34 EST
X-Received: by usenet.pa.dec.com; id AA25543; Thu, 13 Aug 92 18:14:07 -0700
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X-To: alt.fan.dan-quayle.usenet
X-Command: Send_AEvt(doAutoForward)


jmk@cbnews.cb.att.com (joseph.m.knapp) wrote:
  >
  >And if (or when) they lose the presidency, their plan is to 
  >purge all the "liberal" elements that have contaminated the party, and 
  >re-emerge in 1996 conservatively correct, with Jack F. Kemp leading the
  >charge. Yes, it will be nice to have another JFK in the White House.


To which dowzycki@andromeda.rutgers.edu (Ken Dowzycki) responded with the
quality of political analysis that we have come to expect from brain tumors:
  >
  > JFK was an amoral piece of shit that couldn't keep his pants zipped.
  > The media keeps digging up his dusty bones on any opportunity including
  > the last time he boinked Marilyn.


I think Ken is obviously wrong on *both* counts because:

  1. Jack F. Kemp is a good man who is always immaculately attired.
  2. The Quayles' marriage is as solid as the rock between Dannikins' ears.

I do wish Ken would post thoughts rather than ejaculations.  Research has
shown that hormones are no substitute for neurotransmitters.  In aiming for
an expression of pure and unadulterated malignance, he has only succeeded
in making himself look utterly ridiculous.


Dhanesh
From: sg@monsoon.com (Sunil Gupta)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Double messages on abortion
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 92 13:56:51 EDT
Organization: Monsoon Software, Inc.

bunker@physun.physics.mcmaster.ca (Alex Bunker) writes:

> Well done you win the prize! You actually found the one man who could make
> Quayle unimpeachable. I have this unpleasantly clear image inside my
> head of a Quayle/Buchanan 96! lawn sign and bumper sticker bedecked with
> stars and stripes. If this ticket gets elected I leave the continent!
> (Actually I don't think I would be safe ANYwhere on the planet.

Ha! I have that one beat: Quayle/Robertson. Pat Robertson's convention
address made Buchanan's seem like a paean to gay rights and cultural
diversity. This combo seems more plausible, as there exists a great
anitpathy between Quayle and Buchanan, not to mention the fact that
Robertson was a frequent guest in Quayle's box. But who know -- perhaps
it will be Pat & Pat in '96!

Sunil Gupta
Monsoon Software, Inc.
sg@monsoon.com
From: fledgist@weber.ucsd.edu (Fragano Ledgister)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: AN ANAGRAM!!! WE HAVE ONE!!!
Date: 18 Aug 1992 19:58:29 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego
NNTP-Posting-Host: weber.ucsd.edu

In article <1992Aug18.144956.23709@nic.umass.edu> s5202734@titan.ucc.umass.edu (s5202734) writes:
>    Many years ago, isaw the following anagram (I don't recall the source, so
>no attribution):

Dick Cavett.

>
>   Spiro Agnew <===> Grow a Penis
>
>  What is it with veeps & penises (penii?  penia?)
>
>     Jenny Gutbezahl
>


Do penes have veeps?
-- 
____________________________________________________________________
Dawn over the dark sea brings on the sun;                      
She leans across the hilltop: see, the light!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: alexo+@cs.cmu.edu (Alex Orenshteyn)
Subject: Re: Pro-golf, anti-intelligence, and indifferent to everything else
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 11:32:34 GMT

06In article <J3FsPB1w164w@mintir.new-orleans.la.us> elendil@mintir.new-orleans.la.us (Edward J. Branley) writes:
>dks@athena.mit.edu (dks) writes:
>
>> In article <12643@hans> hans@Software.Mitel.COM (Hans Johnsen) writes:
>> >Quayle, of course, has no idea what an abortion is. I would describe
>> >him as Pro-golf with a strong tendency to anti-intelligence.
>>
>>
>>         "Show me a man who plays a good game of golf, and
>>            I'll show you a man who is neglecting something."
>>
>>                                      -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
>>
>>
>>         "Anyone who knows Dan Quayle knows that, given a choice
>>            between golf and sex, he'll choose golf every time."
>>
>>                                      -- Mrs. Marilyn Quayle
>>
>>
>>
>> Dhanesh
>>
>> PS: Guess what I think Dannikins is neglecting...
>
>Ever taken a real close look at Marilyn?  I'd take up golf too.
>
>
The way they got married is probably interesting too. I bet Marilyn told
Dan that he got her pregnant by standing too close to her in the super-market
express-lane. Since Dan did not know any better, he did the "family values" 
thing and married her. He is still thanking Gods that his children look more
like his vacuous self than like Marilyn's racing dog look.

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
From: bsc7@po.CWRU.Edu (Bradley S. Corsello)
Subject: Re: Double messages on abortion
Reply-To: bsc7@po.CWRU.Edu (Bradley S. Corsello)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 92 18:06:14 GMT


In a previous article, jsa5+@andrew.cmu.edu (Joshua M. Sabloff) says:


>> it's fascinating to imagine
>> somebody Quayle can pick for his running mate who would cause us to say we
>can't impeach Quayle, we'd only get you-know-who.
>
>Ummm...  "Don't kill President Quayle, you'll put Pat Buchannan in office!"

And who would President Buchannan pick?  Adolph Hitler's corpse???

-- 
Brad Corsello (bsc7@po.cwru.edu) 2L Case Western Reserve Law School
"The Fanaticks have always had a way of affecting to run into Per-
secution, and count vast Merit upon every little Hardship they suffer."
^ J. Swift.  "Factum clarum, jus nebulosum."  Rex v. Haddock.
From: DSTEPHEN@cmsa.gmr.com
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Danny's gray sideburns: fake?
Date: 19 Aug 92 16:29:13 GMT
Organization: GM Research Labs

In article <57290001@hpscit.sc.hp.com>
evan@hpscit.sc.hp.com (Evan Whitney) writes:

>
>Danny's gray sideburns look fake to me. Has anyone else noticed this?
>Is this an attempt to appear more mature and distiguished by dying
>his hair gray?
>

This is the kind of issue we should be considering at length on alt.fan.dan-
quayle!

I have also been contemplating this important question while watching the
republican convention with the sound turned off.  If he is dying them, it would
be in the grand tradition of fascist republicans--remember all the black shoe
polish Reagan went through while he was president?  But if I were Our Boy's
fashion advisor and personal style consultant, I would tell him to leave it
alone.  It's not making it. If they are graying naturally, then God--who by
all accounts is, in fact, a conservative republican--is playing a cruel trick
on him.

Am I the only one who thinks J. Danforth would look particularly cool with a
neatly trimmed beard and new-age pioneer ponytail?