HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
Subject: Re: Appreciation of the big & beautiful woman
Date: 6 Nov 92 14:53:14 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In article <1992Nov5.233013.25101@news.acns.nwu.edu> beartwo@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Audrey Davis) writes:

>>For good fiction that contains big, beautiful female characters, try
>>reading Naguib Mahfouz's Cairo trilogy:  "Palace Walk," "Palace of
>>Desire," and "Sugar Street."  It takes place in Egypt in the 20s and 30s,
>>and the sexy women are all REAL large.  Very heartening.

>I noticed the same thing when I was in Puerto Rico.  I wear anything from
>size 9 to 12, depending on how it's cut.  I felt self conscious in my (one
>piece) bathing suit, but all the men (my husband included :-)!) kept
>staring at me.  It took me awhile to realize why.

Hi, Audrey.

No offense, but I'm talking about women _much_ larger than you.  In
"Palace Walk," for example, one of the main characters is lusting after
various women who drive him crazy -- all of whom have "voluminous folds of
flesh", tip the carriages they alight from, and weigh around 300 pounds. 
This was a beauty standard in Egypt during that period.  When I was in
Africa, it still held:  I got on a bus once with a bunch of drunk men (I
was the only woman) who didn't even look at me.  I had lost weight due to
illness and probably weighed around 130.  At one point during the trip,
they suddenly started to shout and clutch their heads and pant out the
windows.  We pulled over and picked up a VERY large woman -- yes, the bus
did tip when she got on.  The men were in a state of ecstasy.  She got on
the bus with the most smug look on her face you ever saw, swung her hips,
and settled her ample self down on the seat(s) with a sensuous wiggle.  I
never saw grown men in such a state.



-- 
The trick of reason is to get the imagination to seize the actual world --
if only from time to time.     -- Annie Dillard, "An American Childhood"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lauren Crawford  //  crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
Subject: Re: Appreciation of the big & beautiful woman
Date: 11 Nov 92 00:11:47 GMT
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II

In article <1dn099INNb3e@agate.berkeley.edu> larson@garnet.berkeley.edu (Susan Larson) writes:
>One of the things that has
>annoyed me in the past is that most of the guys I've gone out with are 
>medium sized and would not usually imagine themselves a the "type" to
>go out with large women. 

Every time I hear this I want to say, "Well, I certainly wouldn't want you
do sacrifice your principles for me." Of course, I'm too polite for that.

>It is therefore especially nice to 
>hear from men who like large women also because they _are_ big, not
>despite the fact.

Or who just like them, not because they are big, or in spite of the fact they
are big, but because they are who they are, and their size is just another
data point like their hair or their eye color. It's not ignored, it's not
treated like an illness - it's just part of who you are.

-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
From: crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
Subject: Re: Dragon as role model - an update
Date: 9 Nov 92 16:05:23 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In article <1992Nov6.221123.27424@ucsu.Colorado.EDU> davis@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Barbara Davis) writes:

>I have set up circumstances that have allowed me to talk to and meet a
>number of men the last two weeks.  I went to each meeting open and warm
>and friendly and *expecting* to be liked.  Of the 4 men I met, I am now
>dating 3 of them at least twice a week.

Wow!  That means you're dating 6 nights of the week!  Holy smoke, woman! 
What an enjoyable way to completely lose your mind!  :-)

>I'll post periodic updates of this totally unscientific and very enjoyable
>'experiment' in relating.

No kidding, Barb, this is great.  

Looking forward to those posts.


-- 
The trick of reason is to get the imagination to seize the actual world --
if only from time to time.     -- Annie Dillard, "An American Childhood"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lauren Crawford  //  crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu
From: larson@garnet.berkeley.edu (Susan Larson)
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
Subject: Another Source for Men's Clothing
Date: 10 Nov 1992 01:21:55 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: garnet.berkeley.edu
Summary: address for clothier
Keywords: clothing store, Oakland, CA

Another source for men's clothing is Strom's Big and Tall Clothiers.
They are especially good for sweats and sweaters - though they do not
usually carry 100% wool stuff. Address is :
Strom's Big and Tall Clothiers, 5801 San Pablo Ave. Oakland, Ca. (510) 653.3198
Susan
LArson



Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
From: davis@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Barbara Davis)
Subject: Re: Dragon as role model - an update
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 21:35:57 GMT

crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:

>In article <1992Nov6.221123.27424@ucsu.Colorado.EDU> davis@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Barbara Davis) writes:

>>I have set up circumstances that have allowed me to talk to and meet a
>>number of men the last two weeks.  I went to each meeting open and warm
>>and friendly and *expecting* to be liked.  Of the 4 men I met, I am now
>>dating 3 of them at least twice a week.

>Wow!  That means you're dating 6 nights of the week!  Holy smoke, woman! 
>What an enjoyable way to completely lose your mind!  :-)

Actually, I am managing to have two dates a day on the weekend, afternoon
and evening.  And I am losing my mind and I love it!  I never expected
at 51 years of age to meet *and* date three warm, intelligent, funny, and
caring men who like me so much.  At times it seems almost surreal.  I am
giddy with excitement and flying high.

>No kidding, Barb, this is great.  

>Looking forward to those posts.

Thank you!  Just the encouragement I needed.  More updates as they are
pertainent.

Barb
-- 
Barbara G. Davis                       Internet:  davis@ucsu.colorado.edu
University of Colorado, Boulder 

                   If I don't ask, you can't say, "Yes!".
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
From: formenti@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com (Inge Formenti)
Subject: Re: Can they do this?
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 17:27:23 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Laboratories Palo Alto,CA
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1.4 PL6]

Under the current set of laws (ADA, etc.), I believe a company can only
request a physical after a job offer has been made--and it can relate only
to the physical abilities to perform the essential functions of the job.
Although size per se is not considered to be a disability, the perception
that you are physically incapable of doing a job might entitle you to 
coverage under the law.  See a lawyer if the same dweeb pops up on the
hiring panel!!! 

Inge Formenti
former lurker
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
From: avery@netcom.com (Avery Ray Colter)
Subject: Re: Appreciation of the big & beautiful woman
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 22:42:45 GMT

crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:

<about the perception of wealth>

Yeah, this is true. Especially with the perverse amounts of money I've
heard being spend on weight-loss type things, and the sickening sums
raked in by cosmetic surgeons and the like.

And of course, all the anti-fat sentiment does drive down the price
of high-fat foods, and therefore makes them more attractive to those
on tight budgets. Asking a single mother of 4 to pay twice the cost for half
the calories isn't exactly going to fly real well, by any rational logic.
And with America's poor facing STDs, AIDS, and now a dramatic comeback of
that old favorite tuberculosis, all these goings on about adiposity and its
ills would seem to pale by comparison.

So much the better for me in certain cases. I happen to like dark-meat
of chicken, and so I always chortle at KFC that I pay less for the meat
that tastes better.

-- 
Avery Ray Colter ("Elfcat") - 	avery@netcom.netcom.com (IP 192.100.81.100)
(510) 656-1902 
"Heaviness is the root of lightness; calmness is the controller of haste"
From: mberteig@cco.caltech.edu (Michelle Berteig)
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
Subject: resources for large women
Date: 10 Nov 92 19:38:48 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: punisher.caltech.edu

Hi!

In the latest issue of BBW Magazine, there was an article on
what is available clothing-wise for supersize women (over a
size 26).  The end of the article had a resource list of shops,
places to contact, etc.  I was familiar with most of the things
mentioned there, but even a few were new to me, so I thought I
would mention this so other people out there could make use
of it as well.

--Michelle Berteig
From: Theresa Jarosz Alberti <sapphire@wings.micro.umn.edu>
Subject: Email support for ending compulsive eating
X-Xxdate: Thu, 12 Nov 92 09:07:07 GMT
Organization: Authors with Twins
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d7
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 20:44:28 GMT

Following discussions of Geneen Roth's "Breaking Free from Compulsive
Eating" on alt.support.big-folks, a few of us have decided to start our
own E-mail support group.  

Roth's program for ending compulsive eating and other similar programs
stress self-acceptance, learning to nurture yourself in non-food ways,
eating for hunger and listening to the body. 

If you'd like to subscribe or have any questions, write to:
  
  breakfree-list-request@wings.micro.umn.edu
From: marty@world.std.com (Marty M HaleEvans)
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
Subject: Re: A few thoughts and opinions on BBW and Radiance
Date: 13 Nov 92 17:03:14 GMT
Organization: Cicely Public Access UNIX, Cicely, AK

Hi, Sue --

By and large (no pun intended), I agree with a lot of what you said about 
_BBW_ and _Radiance_. However, I subscribe to both for different reasons.

I discovered BBW first, as a lot of us do, because it's bigger and it's on the 
newsstands. I have a long-term love/hate relationship with it. As you 
noticed, it does miss the point sometimes. The main problem I have with it
is that it tends to be uneven; sometimes it has really great things to say, 
and sometimes it pulls a real boner. I write and tell them when that happens.
The main reason I still love it, though, is for the clothes, of course. Like
any fashion magazine, it shows us some of the possibilities. I *don't* mean
in terms of size, but in terms of clothes, makeup, accessories, and total
look. I've found some of my most powerful mental imagery of how gorgeous a
large woman can look from the pages of BBW. And even though their models are
smaller than I am, they're larger than other fashion magazines, and look to
me more like normal women. (and their *beautiful* cover model for December
is a size 26, complete with double chin) Anyway, like most fashion magazines,
it's geared toward looks and extremes.

Radiance is food for the heart. Now that I've found it, I'd never give it up.
It's angry, joyous, funny, supportive, intelligent. I never read a new issue
that I don't cry over part of it. I learn from it, see women as large as I
am as a rule, find strength from it, and hold my head higher after reading it.
Radiance is like a good friend. But, unfortunately, she can only come and
visit four times a year (which is another reason I keep BBW, which is monthly).
Another thing I like about Radiance is that it talks so much less about
relationships with men than BBW does, and more about the relationships women
have with themselves. Sometimes the former is useful, but the latter is always
useful.

So that's my (long) take on it. I'll keep reading them both, for now.
Anyone else?

Marty

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
"Seems like there ought to be a way we could look each other in the eye
To see we're all in this together, and put all thoughts of victory aside.
Seems like there ought to be a way we could turn this fear into trust;
No matter what you say, there has to be a way --
Every living thing is counting on us."      

Marty Hale-Evans                                 M   @   *   O   %   8   U
89 Mass. Ave., Ste. 199, Boston, MA 02115       \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
From: davis@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Barbara Davis)
Subject: Appreciation of large women
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 23:03:17 GMT

I agree with the posters who say they prefer to be wanted for who they are 
and not because of physical characteristics.  Our physical appearance can
change so dramatically over time.  It would be very unsettling to know that
my relationships were based on something that is destined to change.

I absolutely refuse to devote much time and energy into maintaining a certain
shape or a certain hair color.  I would much rather spend my time learning
to relate to people on a deeply connected level.

Liking me because I am large is just as silly, shallow, and unacceptable as
disliking me based soley on my size.

Barb 
-- 
Barbara G. Davis                       Internet:  davis@ucsu.colorado.edu
University of Colorado, Boulder 

                   If I don't ask, you can't say, "Yes!".
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
From: dce@smsc.sony.com (David Elliott)
Subject: Re: How could you ever trust?
Organization: Sony Microsystems, San Jose, CA
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 92 23:17:43 GMT


In article <1992Nov12.062756.7505@access.usask.ca>, lat22@jester.usask.ca (T'Keela Mahkin Birr) writes:
|> Oh sure, he might say, "I'd love you just as much if you looked
|> different", but where was he when you were large?

Ask yourself "Where was I when I was large"?

Some people are so self-conscious about themselves that they can't
accept that someone else might be interested, and, as a result, let
opportunities pass or prevent them from happening at all.

When you were large, were you going out to the grocery store looking
like you hated the world?  When that not-so-handsome fat bald man
walked by and smiled at you, did you just ignore him?

I know how this can be.  I have this bad tendency to fall for women who
I believe know they can get a better looking man, and I'm not confident
enough in myself to get past that.  If I were to become thin, I might
think the same way as you, but it would be my own fault, not the other
person's.

--
...David Elliott
...dce@smsc.sony.com | ...!{uunet,mips}!sonyusa!dce
...(408)944-4073
..."I take my arms and I wrap them around my art." - F
From: mccall3080@iscsvax.uni.edu
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
Subject: large size models
Date: 11 Nov 92 00:39:54 -0600
Summary: request information
Reply-To: mccall3080@iscsvax.uni.edu
Organization: University of Northern Iowa

        Can anyone tell me of a place that I can contact about modeling for the
larger size women.  I'm curious to see what they are looking for.  What do they
consider a beautiful large women and how often they are used.  I might even do
a paper on it for school
        I would appreciate any information you could give me.
Melissa

Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
From: sue@akix.uucp (Sue Raul)
Subject: A few thoughts and opinions on BBW and Radiance
Organization: ALS Imaging
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 14:32:32 GMT

Hello fellow asbf readers,

First and update: I found BBW in a magazine store yesterday, so
no one has to forward the info I asked for prior to that.  Thanks
to those who already did.

I also found Radiance at a local large-size clothing store.

Having read the two, I found I liked Radiance more.  For one thing,
the models in BBW did not look "large" to me, and it made me feel
like I was "out of the loop" to see a magazine devoted to "bbw's"
that didn't include women who looked like I do.  In Radiance there
were plenty of pictures of women my size, smaller than my size,
and larger than my size. I definitely felt I had a place there.

Second, the articles. In BBW I was pretty annoyed by the "t.v. shows I'd
like to see" article.  These "plots" were supposed to be funny, but they
did not amuse me. They were about food and dieting. Food and dieting.
As if that's all there is to our lives.

In Radiance, there were some incredibly real, touching, hitting home
stories about real life, getting through bad times, succeeding through
the best of times. I especially liked the children's clothing article,
the "woman who was in the hospital after an accident" article,
and the "facing mom" article. These things have relevance and can make a
significant difference in someone's life.

In the BBW article about "BBW's and the Men Who Love Them" there were
at least two stories about a man who hurt a BBW instead of loved one. The
"Hollywood" story and the guy who made his wife diet until they divorced.
This shouldn't have been under "men who love them" but something quite
different.

It seemed like BBW focused more on cosmetics and looks through pictures
and articles about lips, bathing, lingere', fashion, and less about inner
struggles and triumphs.  To its credit, I did appreciate the mattress article. 

Reading Radiance gave me a feeling of finally finding a community I
belonged to (like this group!).  The magazine was so positive and
encouraging.  It was something I wish I had discovered 20 years ago.
I just hope it gets through its financial struggle right now and keeps going.

These have been my opinions after reading one issue of each magazine.
I realize that long-time readers of both magazines might have something
more to add.  No flames, please!  If you agree or disagree with my opinions,
let's hear from you!

Sue
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
From: fi@grebyn.com (Fiona Webster)
Subject: Re: mattresses?  furniture?
Summary: futons 'n' feather beds 
Organization: Grebyn Timesharing
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 17:34:34 GMT

Sue Raul asks about mattresses.

What about trying a futon, Sue?  Futons come in all thicknesses,
and some contain foam inserts for added cushioning.  If you take 
care to flip and fluff them regularly, they usually last at least
8-10 years.  Now that we've discovered futons, my husband and I
will never buy another "traditional" mattress again.  If you want
added softness, you could add a feather bed on top.  I love the
feeling of feathers, so I'm planning to get one myself--as soon
as I can justify the expense.  The nice thing about a feather-bed-
plus-futon arrangement, as opposed to a feather-bed-plus-mattress,
is that the futon is thin enough, you can still fit a regular-sized
sheet over the whole thing.

							--Fiona
Newsgroups: alt.support.big-folks
From: avery@netcom.com (Avery Ray Colter)
Subject: Re: Appreciation of the big & beautiful woman
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 22:34:08 GMT

artemis@netcom.com (Michelle Dick) writes:

>said it was great when indian women moved to London and put on weight
>(they become so much more beautiful), but that he was really impressed
>with large tall women (he rarely saw such in India).

<grin> Oh my, in the perfect place for him to be too, eh?
       All those stout comely redheads of the Isle to gaze longingly at.

-- 
Avery Ray Colter ("Elfcat") - 	avery@netcom.netcom.com (IP 192.100.81.100)
(510) 656-1902 
"Heaviness is the root of lightness; calmness is the controller of haste"
Newsgroups: alt.support
From: dwhitney@hamp.hampshire.edu
Subject: A parent's viewpoint
Organization: Hampshire College
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 00:10:56 GMT

--I posted the exit question first and it was about my daughter.
She seems to be handling things well and taking care of herself by being
cautious.  The man who presented problems has been fired for computer abuse.
Hopefully he will realize if anything happens to her he'll be the first
suspect.

I thank all who responded.

As I read this group, however, I wonder if I'm the only parent on it?

I have the flip side of many mentioned concerns.  Kids wanting to keep
holidays "the same" even though I'm tired of the ritual and would just like
to take it easy and relax.  Thanksgiving I'd like to not cook.  I dearly love
my daughters and grandchildren, but I'm not a "traditional" mother/grandmother.
I work, try to keep up mortgage payments, and deal with crises alone.  I'll
balance that holiday by going to my daughter's (married) and joining in 
the BIG MEAL so another daughter who lives with me can have friends here
and enjoy the day with a vegetarian dinner.

Christmas is another hazzard.  I'd like a tiny real tree, lights outside,
lots of music, good coffee in the morning, and a lazy day.  My daughter
the MOTHER seems to feel I'll be deprived if I don't share the joy of
children on that day.  With 6 daughters I've had enought children's joy to
last thru 2 lifetimes!  There is something neat in the works. All of us
descending on the youngest who just moved into her own apartment!

We'll see what happens.  I just wanted to give one parent's viewpoint.
Sometimes we're ready to give up traditions, holiday involvement that takes
work, and just let it all hang out.  Except our kids keep expecting us to... 
Deb
dwhitney@hamp.hampshire.edu