From: guest@chopin.Physics.McGill.CA (Muhep Guest account)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: The Definitive STAR TREK Parody Chapter 16 (DS9)
Date: 24 Jan 93 20:16:33 GMT
Organization: SOCS, McGill University, Montreal, Canada


                     The Definitive STAR TREK Parody

                                Chapter 16

                                 Answers

It was indeed Ambassador Spock who had spoken.  Despite the fact that
the Excelsior's sensors had shown that there were no survivors and 
despite the fact that he was last known to be on Romulus many sectors
away, he was here.  He wasn't alone either.

"Fine time to talk about logic, Spock!  Can't you see the man's upset?"

"Admiral McCoy?!" exclaimed O'Brien, now doubly surprised.

"Not now, Bones, I think Spock's onto something."

"Admiral Kirk?!!"  O'Brien was now sure he was seeing ghosts.

"Indeed, Admiral.  As I was saying, their behaviour was quite illogical
indeed."

"Get to the point, Spock!" insisted McCoy.

"But that is my point, Doctor, simply that none of this makes sense."

Kirk nods, his lips pursed.  "I see," he says, unpursing his lips.

"What?  What do you see?" asked O'Brien.

Kirk explains.  "It's like the time when Spock, McCoy and I were camping
on Earth.  Our trip was cut short because Spock's brother had 
commandeered the Enterprise."

"Except I don't have a brother," added Spock.

"So, you see, it never happened," Kirk said in conclusion.

O'Brien couldn't believe what he was hearing.  "What's this got to do 
with the Cardassian attack?"

Kirk gestures in reply but McCoy interrupts.  "Allow me," he said moving
forward. "It's Miles, correct?"

"Yes," said O'Brien, wondering how he'd know.

"Your bed is over there, right?" McCoy asks O'Brien.

"Usually," he replies noting that what was his bed is now a split 
mattress on a bent frame.

"You must be feeling tired."

"Admiral, really ..."

"Young man, look at yourself: are you fit to carry on the way you are
right now?"

O'Brien suddenly became aware of how sluggish his motion was, how he 
barely moved his legs when he walked.

"It's alright son, I'm a doctor.  You just lie down over there and 
everything will be alright.  I promise."

O'Brien doesn't believe him but moves toward his bed anyway, following
his suggestion.  He feels as though he is floating on air and when he 
settles into bed, it is surprisingly comfortable.  Everything seemed to 
go black.


O'Brien wakes with a start, disorientated.  Everything seems wrong.  No,
he thought, not wrong: everything seems right!  The bed, the room, 
everything is back to normal.

"It was all a dream: the Cardassian attacks, the Borg, the Excelsior, 
all of it was a dream."  O'Brien then becomes aware of a strange sound:
it is the sound of running water; Keiko is in the shower.  Suddenly, the
water stops running and Keiko's head emerges.

"Oh, good, you're awake," she says.  "Could you be a dear and throw the 
towel to me?  I left it on the bed."

O'Brien does so and Keiko reaches out and grabs it.  Water drips from 
her upper torso onto the floor.

"You're wet," O'Brien says.

"Of course, silly!  That's why I wanted the towel," she replies 
proceeding to dry herself.

"No, I mean you're *very* wet."

Keiko smiles slyly.  "Oh, you like that, huh?" she asks discarding the
towel and moving toward the bed.

"Yes, I do," he answers quite sincerely.  "In fact, all of a sudden, I 
feel very much awake."

"Is that so?" she asks rhetorically, sitting down on the bed beside him.

He looks into her eyes.  "I love you, Keiko," he says with unmistakable
adoration.

"I love you too, Miles," she says, gently removing O'Brien's uniform.

"You know, Keiko, being here isn't so bad as long as we're together."

Keiko smiles.  "In a moment, you won't care where you are at all."

                                 THE END

Martin Phipps
SCAVIE AWARD WINNER
LOULA@hep.physics.mcgill.ca