HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: John Cleese sex life rumours?!
From: djohnson@gutenberg.gac.edu (Daniel P Johnson)
Date: 26 Aug 92 17:57:06
Followup-To: alt.fan.monty-python
Organization: Fallen Prey to Entropy
In-reply-to: brein@gpvax.jpl.nasa.gov's message of Wed, 26 Aug 1992 16:09:07 GMTLines: 27

In article <brein-260892090707@128.149.100.144> brein@gpvax.jpl.nasa.gov (Barry Rein) writes:

.One of the British tabloids is being sued for libel by John Cleese over
.rumours they printed about his sex life.  What were the dastardly lies they
.printed?

Allegedly, Dear Ol' John liked to fool around with..uh.. shall we say,
Baked Goods.  A Jelly doughnut was not only a tasty meal, but also
bloody good time for Johnny-boy, and he was once caught in a cheap
hotel under an assumed name in bed with an underage Eclair.  At this
point the British press, aka The Mighty Heralds of Truth, did some
serious investigating, and they found out that "John Cleese" is
actually a clever disguise used by Vinnie Lambroghini (a notorious
Siscilian Mafia-guy) so that he can move about Europe from Duncan
Doughnut to Duncan Doughnut without anyone suspecting him.  Finally,
it came out that "John" had murdered 23 young Cub Scouts who were
delivering Cinnamon rolls to their scout meeting, and he stole and
used their uniforms to elude capture.  Crossing the border into Libya,
he became a high level spy for Momar Quahdafphiey, and personally
passed on all the British and American nuclear and chemical-weapons
secrets to the terrorists of the world.  In his most dastardly action
to date, "John the 'Boston Strangler' Cleese" used a stolen HAM radio
to broadcast troop movements and vital secrets to marauding Aliens
from the planet Zort, resulting in the complete annihilation of the
human race.

Dan aka Thank god for the press!!
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Yet Another Entirely Useless Post.
Date: 27 Aug 92 15:10:26 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center

I woke up this morning and what did I see?
A man aiming a assault rifle at me.
I looked him in the face I looked him in the eye
He gave me a smile and said goodbye.
He blew off my head, to never-never land.
Now I haunt his friends at his command.....


Splatter the Walls
Blown Down The Mini-Malls
Human Heart Explodes
In my pie-alamode....

Chainsaws of love
Cutting up a white dove
I can't take this anymore
I have to go buy a whore

Adoph Hitler was my friend
I was with him to the end.
My name is Satan
Don't think you can be escapin'



Jester aka lyrics..more lyrics......
-- 
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
to reform.
		-- Mark Twain
From: jwlr@gauguin.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: What is this, a cascade?
Date: 3 Sep 92 02:57:50 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

>>>>>}>}>One-third the size of its bum if it's got three buttocks!
>>>>>}>}A bird with eyes like a plum, and it's got me colcuts!
>>>>>}>My gun within a sum equals my dead mothers in Colsax.
>>>>>}*sigh* Some heathen with a gun took my head waiter's handbag.
>>>>>*fart*-exsqueeze me...I shot the waiter with a hypodermic
>>>>*belch* Bugger off! I couldn't eat another bite!
>>>*aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhchoooooooo* I think I'm allergic to it!
>>*kaploooooeeee* Ms. Niggerbaiter's exploded!
>*splat* *splat* *splat* Oooh look!  It's raining niggerbait!
*squish* *squish* *squish* Was that a puddle of niggerbaiter or
do I have to get my feet oiled again?

>>Ratboy aka Right! This has gone far enough!
>Meetch aka No it hasn't.  I can still see it.
James aka Well, then you must not be doing it right!
From: jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Comfort
Date: 31 Aug 92 20:27:41 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

In <ins450m.715249353@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au> ins450m@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au (The Wiseman) mumbles:

>Doo wa diddy 
>Diddy dum
>diddy doo.

>I think there's something in that for all of us.
There's nothing in that for ME!!
(I'm still lookin' fer monetary appreciation!)

>The Wiseman
James wow the Fairly-Intelligentman
From: Robert.T.Warfield@dartmouth.edu (Robert T. Warfield)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: REQUEST for Meaning of Life song
Date: 30 Aug 92 22:54:52 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH
X-Posted-From: InterNews1.0d56@newshost.dartmouth.edu

Yes, here it is! What you've all been waiting
for------------------------

THE SONG!!!!!






Whenever life get you down, Mrs. Brown,   
And things seem hard or tough.               
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,   
And you feel that you've had quite enu-hu-hu-huuuuff!

Just - re-member that you're standing on a planet that's evolving 
and revolving at 900 miles an hour,
It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned,
the sun that is the source of all our power.
The Sun and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
are moving at a million miles a day,
In the outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour,
of the Galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Our Galaxy itself contains 100 billion stars,
it's 100,000 light-years side-to-side,
It bulges in the middle, 16,000 light-years thick,
but out by us it's just 3000 light-years wide.
We're 30,000 light-years from galactic central point,
we go round every 200 million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
in this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
in all of the directions it can whizz,
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light you know,
twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
how amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
because there's bugger all down here on Earth.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jlindqui@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (A Conrad Bain Wanna-Be)
Subject: Re: THE COMFY CHAIR????
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 04:45:47 GMT

grada@columbia.dsu.edu (Alison Grad) writes:

>I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...
#include "CRASH!"
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
Our supreme weapon is fear and surprise...
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jason A. Lindquist                 University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
jlindqui@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu
jasonl@gagme.chi.il.us    (Vacation only.  Mail here gets bounced to UIUC)
From: jwlr@gauguin.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: What is this, a cascade?
Date: 3 Sep 92 02:54:23 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

>>>}>}>One-third the size of its bum if it's got three buttocks!
>>>}>}A bird with eyes like a plum, and it's got me colcuts!
>>>}>My gun within a sum equals my dead mothers in Colsax.
>>>}*sigh* Some heathen with a gun took my head waiter's handbag.
>>>*fart*-exsqueeze me...I shot the waiter with a hypodermic
>>*belch* Bugger off! I couldn't eat another bite!
>*burp* I fart in your direction, you son of a no good person.
Ah, yer mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries,
you stupid french son of wombat!
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma)
Subject: Re: AKA
Organization: DIALix Services, Perth, Western Australia
Date: Tue, 01 Sep 92 06:29:13 GMT

>>>Someone please let me in on this aka thing.
>>>(NO, I dont have a sense of homur.bork.bork.bork)
>>Okay. You're in on it.
>>Jesam aka Never too busy to be cryptic for the uninitiated
>BTW... Who gave this Jim bloke an aka licence... He's misusing it!
Can't misuse wot you 'aven't got!

>aka nS
>oinm..?
Meetch aka License to akakakakakakakakakakaka!
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: tvilla@tartarus.uwa.edu.au (Tim Villa)
Subject: Re: Young Ones question
Organization: University of Western Australia
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 08:40:29 GMT

00njhavert@bsu-ucs.uucp writes:


>	Okay, this isn't a Python question, but I figured this would be
>the best place to ask it. So there ya big poof!
>	What are those quick flashes of things in the various Young Ones
>episodes? Those subliminal message-like things. Anyone understand what I'm
>talking (or rather, typing) about?

>Sir Nicholas the Mad

Yeah I've noticed them too. The one that springs to mind is the guy
poking out his tongue and the bird. No idea what they're for. Just to
generate conversation I expect ;)

Tim

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: lmasterm@cs.ulowell.edu (Lisa Masterman)
Subject: Re: PS
Originator: lmasterm@bigmax.ulowell.edu
Organization: University of Massachusetts at Lowell Computer Science
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 20:43:42 GMT


In article <22AUG199217033108@venus.tamu.edu>, mfc1493@venus.tamu.edu (Ratboy) writes:

|> >>We need a band name...
|> >How 'bout "Dead Herring" ?
|> Hmmm. I was thinking more along the lines of "Comatose Broccoli"...

How about "Vermillion Kumquat?"  No, wait, that's my friend's name...

|> >>Ratboy the Tone-Deaf
|> >Meetch aka *ding--ding ding ding ding ding ding ding* I see watcha mean..
|> Ratboy the Ding-Deaf
-- lisa aka the Chartreuse Celery Stick
From: jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: toast..err.. TEST
Date: 25 Aug 92 20:59:05 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

In <1992Aug19.140153.19360@DIALix.oz.au> meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma) makes 'scritchy-scritchy' noises:

>jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier) writes:

>>In article <DJOHNSON.92Aug16142128@gutenberg.gac.edu> djohnson@gutenberg.gac.edu (Daniel P Johnson) writes:
>>|
>>|This is a test to see what the result will be.
>>|
>>|Dan aka Gettin' a might bit sick of havin' all o' my posts rejected.
>>|(grumble grumble)

>>Ooooouuuhh! Dannyboy! You're back! Finally! Yes! Yes! We can hear you!
>>You're comin' thru loud an' clear! Oooh, Dannypoo I've missed you so
>>much! No one has missed you so much as I did! Well ... maybe Michael
>>did ... or Eccles, or maybe Jester. Yes, I think Jester missed you
>>more than I did. And ...[Ll]isa and Chris and  ... Yeah, I think
>>everbody missed you more than I did <thud> ...

>>Jos aka Who, by Jove, is this silly man?
>Meetch aka Who are *YOU* to call this man silly ?
smaJe aka It's the BISHOP!!
From: che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Philosopher's Drinking Songclose
Date: 31 Aug 92 11:54:26 +1000
Organization: Computer Centre, Monash University, Australia

In article <92243.170439MDS128@psuvm.psu.edu>, MDS128@psuvm.psu.edu writes:
> Does anyone out there have... What am I saying?!?  :)
> 
> Would someone who has the Philosopher's Drinking Song please send me a copy
> or post one?  I'm currently in Philosophy course that has a private newsgroup,
> and posting that song is too tempting.  Unfortunately, I erased my old copy.
> 
> Thanks,
> Mike Smith

Emmanuel Kant was a real pissant
 who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
 who could drink you under the table
David Hume could outconsume
 good ol' Friedrich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
 who was just as schloshed as Schlagel
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
 bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill of his own free will
 on half a pint of brandy was particularly ill
Plato they say, could stick it away
 half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
 Hobbs was fond of his Dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
 "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes Socrates him self was particularly missed
 A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed. (Oi!)


Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jwlr@okeeffe.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: love........
Date: 27 Aug 92 13:25:48 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

In <1992Aug20.125633.27491@ulowell.ulowell.edu> lmasterm@cs.ulowell.edu (Lisa Masterman) drools:


>In article <5790@m1.cs.man.ac.uk>, bane@vtx.ma.man.ac.uk) (M i c h a e l ;-) wri
>tes:

>|> |> Chris aka I think that I'd rather have the garden shed.
>|> AKA Michael. I think that I'd rather have the brownie

>I think I'd still rather eat Johnson, sir...
He's not Kosher, I know, cause I looked all over his body and
couldn't find a little 'K' or 'P' anywhere on him!

>--lisa aka still no sign of land...
James sls Chairman Mao is not in this scene!! Shove off!
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jtaylor@seq.uncwil.edu (J.T.)
Subject: Re: Hmm...I like this, please explain
Organization: Univ. of North Carolina @ Wilmington
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1992 01:16:00 GMT

sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney) writes:

>Hmmm. We'll have to think up a nice initiation ceremony... anyone
>got some boiling marmalade, a scythe, and a big bottom?

You've got to be kidding!!...you can't mean that!!!!!
Your going to use...MARMALADE?!?!?!?!  


>Well, yes... it's silly anyway. (It comes from the immor(t)al Jos)
>>
>>Silly is all that it is.  And you can't use it without a licence, else we
>>taunt you endlessly, untill you lay huddled in a corner, begging for mercy!
>NO... 2 things.. taunt you endlessly, until you lay huddled in a corner, 
>begging for mercy AND hang you over a pot of boiling marmalade, cut
>off your testicles with a garden impliment, and roast them over an
>open fire.

uh oh.  We have a conflict.  Normally I'd be more than happy
to oblige ya, but i'm a donor...and I don't think it would be nice
to rob some needy eunuch of some of my ..... better parts.

>>Chris aka A nice guy.....most of the time.....
        ^^^
I definately need one of those....someone hurry up and give me
one...or I'm likely to try and forge it.

>Um... WHEN?
>MNSi? Oh.
JT ___ *sigh* I'm stoking the fire...just in case.
From: jwlr@okeeffe.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: PS
Date: 3 Sep 92 13:37:51 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

In <1992Sep1.133937.3840@newscan.canada.sun.com> ptaylor@airfarce.Canada.Sun.COM  writes:


>sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney) enunciated:
>> 
>> >>>PKT aka rather fond of......large briefcases.........
>> >>Well I know Ratboy's secret... he's really a big pri..
>> >Right! One more quip from you and you're nicked!
>> Why did the tacheon cross the road.
>> Because he was on the other side.

>BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
>	I don't get it............

That's quantum humor, for you.  You never know if a joke is funny
if you get it, and you never know whether or not you get it if you
know it's funny.
"Groucho's Uncertainty Principle [GUP]"

>> 
>> >>MS? Oh gawds... I never wanted to do these anagrams anyway. I really
>> >>wanted to be... a KSM!
>> >>noi.
>> 
>> >Ratboy aka *sniff*
>> MNSio... you know you shouldn't use that stuff, RB... flour isn't
>> good for you.
>Ratboy, here buddy, use my shoe (8 1/2).  It's MUCH better to sniff from.

>PKT aka {shhhh.....watch!!!}
Jmase aka {it sounds like that Highlander is ticking...}
>___________________________________________________________________________
>Peter K. Taylor			||	Grab your egg-and-fours and	
>right hemisphere, 		||	let's get the bacon delivered!
>leftoverture,			||			mpfc
>Markham, ON, Canada		||-----------------------------------------
>				||           (so much for Pathos!)
From: jwlr@okeeffe.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Lumberjacks
Date: 26 Aug 92 16:39:42 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

In <1992Aug20.042422.2960@ultb.isc.rit.edu> jmw1388@ritvax.isc.rit.edu (me) doodled:

>Oooh, I've got Blue Meanies too!!
>Do you know how to get rid of 'em?? (besides all that *bloody* singing?
>I *hate* *bloody* singing!!)

>Ah, well hear come the Vikings ....

>sameJ wiw I'm running out of Clever Anagrams (tm) and I lost my Append button!

maJes aka Nevermind! I was restored by the Great Wizard ....

			TIM !!!
From: bane@vtx.ma.man.ac.uk (Mr. Magic)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Can I just interrupt here for a second...
Date: 25 Aug 92 13:29:55 GMT
Reply-To: bane@vtx.ma.man.ac.uk
Organization: Magic Michael's Mushroom Factory.

In article <guest.10@sofus.dhhalden.no>, guest@sofus.dhhalden.no (.GJEST) writes:
|> Can I just say that this is the first time I've posted to this group this 
|> term?
|> 
|> Magnum


No. Now you had better unsay it.... go on now


Michael ... then I'll I'll I'll grab my....
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney)
Subject: Re: AKA
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 07:38:38 GMT


>>>>Someone please let me in on this aka thing.
>>>>(NO, I dont have a sense of homur.bork.bork.bork)
>>>Okay. You're in on it.
>>>Jesam aka Never too busy to be cryptic for the uninitiated
>>BTW... Who gave this Jim bloke an aka licence... He's misusing it!
>Can't misuse wot you 'aven't got!
Exactly... who wants to be in the firing squad?

>>aka nS
>>oinm..?
>Meetch aka License to akakakakakakakakakakaka!
<MSNio... ditto. aka I'm only using this coz I've got it.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: 00124961@ysub.ysu.edu
Subject: Re: AKA
Organization: Youngstown State University
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 22:10:16 GMT

In article <gunnarh.5@dhhalden.no>
gunnarh@dhhalden.no (GUNNAR HORRIGMO) writes:
 
>
>Someone please let me in on this aka thing.
>(NO, I dont have a sense of homur.bork.bork.bork)
Chris aka Well, bugger off, then!
From: ptaylor@airfarce.Canada.Sun.COM
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: PS
Date: 30 Aug 92 03:41:44 GMT
Reply-To: ptaylor@airfarce.Canada.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems


mfc1493@zeus.tamu.edu (Ratboy) writes:
> >|> >Band name? Um... the Leprous Hell-Wombats from the planet Norman!
> >|> Is this Frank's planet?
> > 
> >THIS IS NOT FRANK'S PLANET!!  This has nothing to DO with Frank!
> 
> What about George, then? I hear he's got a nice little plant over near Luton.
> 
> >|> Eccles aka The Lore-Bringer
> >-- lisa aka that's a mighty big IF...
> Ratboy aka you think *that's* big...look at the size of my...briefcase.
> 
Oooohhh! Nice briefcase, sailor!!

PKT aka rather fond of......large briefcases.........

___________________________________________________________________________
Peter K. Taylor			||	Grab your egg-and-fours and	
right hemisphere, 		||	let's get the bacon delivered!
leftoverture,			||			mpfc
Markham, ON, Canada		||-----------------------------------------
				||           (so much for Pathos!)
From: tbs@login.dkuug.dk (Torben B. S|rensen)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: More dead birds or comedians
Date: 2 Sep 92 19:56:29 GMT


Well, it certainly does look like the Usenet Killer Rabbit ate most of
my last posting, so here goes (again):
On the BBC World Service I saw a little amusing skit going something
like this: A bird enters a shop which is in turn run by another bird.
The customer bird has a cage in its hand - well, under the wing, I
suppose. Customer bird says:
- I want to complain about this comedian you sold me (shows cage)
- Well, what's wrong with him?
- He's dead!
- No, he's not. He's.... pausing.
- What?
- He's pausing between jokes. Oh - HA HA!
- What is it?
- He just told a joke
- No, he didn't!
- Yes, he just told a very funny joke...
And so it went on for some time. Sorta reminds you of something, don't
it? Wish I knew who did it, the rest of the programme wasn't very
funny, though.

Torben aka tbs@login.dkuug.dk
From: mfc1493@venus.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Can I just interrupt here for a second...
Date: 29 Aug 92 20:52:00 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

>>>>Can I just say that this is the first time I've posted to this group this 
>>>>term?
>>> 
>>> You're very silly, and I'm not going to read you.
>>> 
>>But it's my only line!!!
>>
>>Andrew aka shut up you silly bitch, it was only a bit of fun!
> 
>I'm sorry, but I don't quite follow your banter. Could you type it slower?

Banter's not the same if you type it slower, Squiffy.

>eric aka the 'alf a bee
Ratboy aka Is the third test in here?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@venus.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Subject: Re: What is this, a cascade?
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 10:24:00 GMT

>>>}>}>One-third the size of its bum if it's got three buttocks!
>>>}>}A bird with eyes like a plum, and it's got me colcuts!
>>>}>My gun within a sum equals my dead mothers in Colsax.
>>>}*sigh* Some heathen with a gun took my head waiter's handbag.
>>>*fart*-exsqueeze me...I shot the waiter with a hypodermic
>>*belch* Bugger off! I couldn't eat another bite!
>*aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhchoooooooo* I think I'm allergic to it!
*kaploooooeeee* Ms. Niggerbaiter's exploded!

Ratboy aka Right! This has gone far enough!


Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney)
Subject: Re: AKA police.
Keywords: Numatic.
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 01:53:08 GMT


>>Alright. It hhas come to my attention that the illegal use
>>of aka's has been running rampant on this board. I can say that
>>the only legal way to obtain and aka license is to e-mail one
>>jesterr@sage.cc.purdue.edu and pledge your eternal life and soul to him.
>>or just mail huge sums of money....either idea will work.
>OR for a small fee, I can forge you a pirated one, like mine!!
Is this a grapefruit I see before me? 
Hark! What light from yonder Watermelon breaks?
Now is the Elderberry of our discontent!
A Horseradish! A horseradish! My kingdom for a horseradish!
Virtue? 'Tis a fig!
Sorry... got a bit carried away and all that rot. Jolly bad show if
I do say so myself. Just trying to bring a bit of culture to the old
chap! Pretty spiffing, eh?
Now... where was I? Oh yes. Um....
'Allo 'Allo 'Allo. Wot's all this then?
Oh. He's buggered off. So he has, he's scarpered!

>>now if you don't get that legal license...I will have to be forced
>>to do something drastic...like......
>[empty threats crushed by 200 ton weight]
Um... boil your bottom, you son of a silly person?
I could even bottom your boil. 
Or prick your boil (so long as I'm sure to get that one wrong.)

>>Jester aka how do you like them apples eh?
>James aka I can defend myself! I have point-ed sticks!
IOSnm... Yes, but do you have a licence to use it?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@zeus.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Subject: Re: New Band Line-Up
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 04:05:00 GMT

>>Bass guitar                  --   A couple of Simons (why not 2 bassists? Never
>>                                  been done)
> 
>Yes it has.
> 
>Steve.
> 
>p.s. I haven't posted here for so long because I think most of it is shite now 
>and you've all lost the point of real python.
> 
Did we ask you? I honestly can't remember...not since I had me brain out.

Ratboy aka Huh?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: ins450m@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au (The Wiseman)
Subject: Comfort
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 08:22:33 GMT




Doo wa diddy 
Diddy dum
diddy doo.

I think there's something in that for all of us.

The Wiseman

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma)
Subject: Re: What is this, a cascade?
Organization: DIALix Services, Perth, Western Australia
Date: Wed, 02 Sep 92 02:47:49 GMT

>>>>}>}>One-third the size of its bum if it's got three buttocks!
>>>>}>}A bird with eyes like a plum, and it's got me colcuts!
>>>>}>My gun within a sum equals my dead mothers in Colsax.
>>>>}*sigh* Some heathen with a gun took my head waiter's handbag.
>>>>*fart*-exsqueeze me...I shot the waiter with a hypodermic
>>>*belch* Bugger off! I couldn't eat another bite!
>>*aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhchoooooooo* I think I'm allergic to it!
>*kaploooooeeee* Ms. Niggerbaiter's exploded!
*splat* *splat* *splat* Oooh look!  It's raining niggerbait!

>Ratboy aka Right! This has gone far enough!
Meetch aka No it hasn't.  I can still see it.