From: swoodwar@zeus.calpoly.edu (Swo Odwar)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: List of Deities
Date: 22 Jan 93 03:38:49 GMT
Organization: VoidSoft Ink.

an2192@anon.penet.fi (Lee Harvey Oswald Smith) had the unmitigated audacity to say:
>X-Anon-To: alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
>
>Someone should put together a list of deities venerated on the Usenet. Here's a start. If youi have any, post them as follow-ups to this message.
>
>	Eris
>	Bob
>	Kibo
>	Cthulhu
>	The Beer Commercial Jesus
>	Snuffle-upagus
>	

 
                               BUGS BUNNY IS GOD
                               =================
 
                There is a spiritual reformation going on today!
           People are abandoning their old, narrow, crusty realities!
            People are adopting a new, enlightening, fresh religion!
 
                           And that religion is Bugs!
                    Yea, Bugs Bunny is LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!
 
 
Some of you unbelievers may consider Bugs Bunny mere foolishness! You
cling to your "evolution" and "skepticism" in an effort to deny Bugs!
But consider this: everything has a cause! And so the universe itself
must have a cause! That cause is Bugs!
 
 
Yea, Bugs is the creator of the universe! And Bugs is in charge of the
universe! Do you know what happens to those who refuse Bugs? Eternal
torment! Yea, the fiend Yosemite Sam is armed with a pitchfork! Yosemite
Sam delights in tormenting the souls of fools! It is difficult to see
why anyone would want to deny Bugs! If you accept Bugs and are wrong,
then you lose nothing! If you reject Bugs and are wrong, then you suffer
Damnation!
 
 
Bugs does not only demand belief, but also virtue! Do not follow the
ways of the Daffy Duck! Daffy Duck is a greedy fool and that is his
downfall! If you are greedy then that will be your downfall! Do not
think that rat-racing for riches will bring the blessing of Bugs! Bugs
is not blinded by the glitter of gold!
 
 
Take care to avoid foolishness! There is nothing worse to Bugs than a
foolish human! Foooishness is the domain of Elmer Fudd! Elmer Fudd is
always trying to tame nature for "honor" and "glory"! This is foolish,
for Bugs is a God of Nature and cannot be tamed! If you try to tame
nature, then you will end up being tamed by Bugs! Yea, Bugs will use
his Supernatural Powers to confuse you! Once you are confused you are
more open to suggestion! Have no doubt that Bugs will use that
opportunity! Bugs will do many wacky things inside your head!
 
 
But remember that Bugs is a benevolent god! Bugs brings illumination!
When Bugs has entered your life you become free of foolish belief!
Imagine those painful and obsolete beliefs falling away! Imagine the
wonderful and absolving relief you will feel!
 
 
Do not think that mere intellect is enough! There is no creature with
more intellect than Bugs! But even Bugs knows that intellict is not
enough! Wile E. Coyote is a super-genius, but he never wins! The
quickness of the Roadrunner is enough to foil the genius of the Coyote!
 
 
What Wile E. Coyote lacks is luck! And Bugs is an infinite fountain of
luck! There is always a rabbit hole nearby for Bugs to jump into! Guns
pointed at Bugs will always backfire! Falling objects such as anvils
will always miss Bugs! Tree branches will always float in the air while
Bugs is standing on them! There is a reason that the rabbit foot is a
token of luck! That reason is Bugs Bunny! But you need no animal limb
to share in the luck of Bugs! Bugs requires no animal sacrifice! Bugs
is happy to share his luck with his followers! All you need is faith in
Bugs and luck will follow! 
 
 
Beware, Bugs has many enemies! Foolish humans who have no sense of humor
are an enemy of Bugs! Bugs brings vast quantites of humor unto his
followers! Humor is essential to spiritual growth! The humorless would
seek to deprive you of this precious humor! Beware the grim heretics who
would turn you against Bugs! They may say that Bugs is too silly to be
the Lord God but they are wrong! The grim ones have no slack in their
lives! The grim ones are stuck in a dark, humorless reality! The lord
of the grim ones knows no laughter! The lord of the grim ones tolerates
no irreverence! The lord of the grim ones wants you to stop thinking!
 
 
Reject the lord of the grim ones! Reject the grim ones when they try to
subvert your faith! Laugh in the faces of the grim ones! Laugh in the
knowledge that you know the way of Bugs! Laugh at the foolishness that
surrounds you! Let your levity raise you above the foolishness in the
world! Abandon the chains of your ancestors, for they only weigh you
down! Abandon the chains of your past sins, for Bugs brings redemption!
Abandon the chains of your masters, for one who knows Bugs is free!

-- 
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