From: pjself@bsu-cs.bsu.edu (Beverly Crusher)
Newsgroups: soc.women
Subject: Thoughts on Sexual Harassment
Date: 8 Jan 93 13:32:12 GMT
Distribution: soc.women, soc.men
Organization: Dept. of CS Ball State University Muncie IN

(THIS MIGHT *SEEM* LONG, BUT IT READS FAST......)
My SO and I were eating pizza last night and discussing the events
of each other's days when I brought up a subject that had been
addressed on the Faith Daniel's Show (Hey, I'm on vacation....).
They were discussing the fact that even 11 and 12 year old girls are
beginning to file sexual harassment charges on fellow male students.
One boy had exposed himself to a girl on the schoolbus; his lawyer nor
the school's lawyer would appear (surprised?), but they did send the
show "statements" to be read.  The boy denies it, and the school thinks
that "too much is being made out of the situation."  Another girl had
to suffer through insults and unwanted invitations to sex because she
was "more developed" than her peers.  This followed her to high school
where she was known as being "an easy lay" and called other names that
related to the smell that lingers after love-making.
(Okay, now that those of you who missed the show have some background...)
What's really going on here?  10 and 11 year old boys are _sexually_
harassing girls at their school?!  Seems crazy, right?  I can tell you
first hand that such things do go on...and worse...even right down to
the grade schools.  I am a teacher-to-be and witnessed such things at
the Jr. High where I did my student teaching.
Here are my thoughts on the matter....
Many boys in this country do not have full-time in their lives the most
important role model they should have     THEIR FATHERS! (No judgement call
here; just stating a fact). They are then left to seek other male figures to 
learn from (mothers can do a lot in the education of boys, but there are
some things that they themselves seek from outside the home because they
witness it in other boys).  Mom's boyfriend or father, or the boy's uncle
or brother sometimes falls into this category, but most often, it is their
peers and male teachers/principals/counselors they turn to.  So, let us
take for instance some of the name calling....  If Mr. Jones hears Billy
refer to a girl in a less-than-respectful way while standing right next
to him - and does NOTHING to correct that behavior - Billy will soon begin
to think to himself that such behavior is acceptable because no one stopped
him.  And as seems to be human behavior, things esscalate from there.
Something else is involved here too....  Many teachers who do take the
time to call Billy's parents to tell them of his behavior receive road-blocks
of the worst kind:  1) Denial ("*MY* son would never say/do such a thing
to a girl."; 2) Apathy; 3) "Yeah, yeah, okay...I'll talk to him." (if he's
still up at midnight when I am finished doing all of my paperwork I 
brought from the office....).  So even if a teacher (male or female) calls
about a child's behavior, many boys aren't corrected and continue.

But what I think a lot of this comes down to...at school, at home, at
work....is that some boys are not taught (and so as men don't have) to
have  *RESPECT*  for girls/women.  Doesn't it?  Would you consider a
"feminist movement" to be a basic search for some respect, just COMMON
COURTESY...oh, but I can't use the words "feminist" and "movement" together
because instantly the males I am trying to talk to have images of what
they call femi-nazi's in their heads and tune me out.  I am not talking
about radical changes in the world and vocabulary - just some courtesy
not to be called "sweet trick" (I have a name, thanks); to have a guy look me
in the eyes/face when he talks to me, and not talk to my chest; to be safe
enough to walk down a street without being pinched or whistled at or
propositioned ... or worse ... raped; to have equal opportunity for a job
if I have the skills necessary and the ambition to apply for it; to be
promoted if I am deserving; to make equal pay for equal work; to have a
child and not lose my job over it; to live a free and fulfilling life
however I choose (as long as I don't murder, steal, or do anything else
that infriges severly on other's rights :).  Is THAT really too much
to ask?  I don't believe that everyone in the world has to be my best
friend and that I am qualified for every job...I just want to be treated
with some courtesy and respect.




Lady Shakespeare
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