From: rick@sadtler.sadtler.com (Rick Morris)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: DOOL: TAN: The SoapBox Platform
Date: 7 Oct 92 16:16:24 GMT
Organization: Sadtler Research Laboratories

Okay, gang.  Here it is.  The article which will push us ahead of
Julie and Doug in the Polls.  The article which will take the attention
away from Bill, George, and H.R.  The article each and every one of
you has been hoping for....Yes, Quince and DaCobb are publishing our
SoapBox Political Platform!  When you go to the Polls November 2,
when you are in the solitude of the voting booth, when it comes time
to (a.  Push the button   b.  Pull the lever  c.  Punch the card),
Do The Right Thing and write in Quince and DaCobb!

--Just a quick personal note:  Over the last few weeks I have had
a lot of contact with the Quince Peel sister.  Let me just say that
I have found her charm, experience, and a kind of folksy wisdom to
be a day brightener on good days, and quite a comfort on some days
when things were pretty bad.  I will be proud to serve in her
Administration as we guide this country through the difficult
times ahead.

Anyway, without further delay,  I present.......

The SoapBox Platform!

-------------------------Here's platform-----------------------------

Statement of Policy:  Consistency in storylines is a major concern of
                      our targeted constituency, the viewers of Days
Of Our Lives (DOOL) who have access to a computer (VODOOLWHATAC).  We
see increasingly, both in our soaps and in Real Life Politics (RLP)
that consistency is less important to The Powers That Be (TPTB) than
the highlighting of the latest issue.  Therefore, Quince and DaCobb
pledge that our Presidency will be committed to ignoring the current
issues, and concentrating on cleanly wrapping up loose ends,
maintaining character development, and including proven characters as
major players in newcomer storylines.

I.  Domestic Affairs

    A.  Economy

	It is obvious that there is a shortage of talented Soap
	writers at the staff offices of DOOL.  It is just as obvious
	that there are many talented writers amongst our constituency
	(VODOOLWHATAC) who can do a better job.  Therefore, it is
	the role of government to increase the quality of life of
	it's citizens by giving those script writers in the
	VODOOLWHATAC constituency jobs writing the soaps, and making
	the current writers take jobs at fast food joints.

    B.  National Health Care

	All citizens of this nation deserve the same right to
	hospitalization as the Horton Family.  See Family Values
	below.  Also, a Carly Manning University Hospital will
	be built on a tropical island, and Carly herself will be
	a frequent guest speaker to train a fleet of
	super-wonder-doctors (SWDs) to care for, uhh, some other
	country's citizens.

    C.  Family Values

	It should be the role of government to trace all citizen's roots
	to the Tom and Alice Horton family, providing all citizens with
	the same rights and privileges to marriage counseling, wedding
	preparation, hospital attention, and homemade doughnuts and cookies
	as the currently recognized Horton family.

    D.  Voter Disenfranchisement

	It surprised Quince and DaCobb that there were not more opinions
	expressed in the initial Soap Box Poll concerning RLP.  Those who
	did inject some RLP are acknowledged and appreciated.  The
	VODOOLWHATAC constituency has a wide variety of RLP opinion.
	What we saw common in all the results was a real desire to put
	mundane RLP issues aside, and to concentrate on the issues which
	really effect our lives such as Soap Opera Storyline Quality, and
	the Quality of the Actors.  This makes us proud to be the
	self-appointed political leaders of the Soap Box Party.

    E.  News Administrator Regulation

	Quince and DaCobb believe that all News Administrators should be
	regulated by Congress to assure that the articles in the
	rec.arts.tv hierarchy is kept a minimum of 5 days (a long weekend
	plus 1) before being expired or purged.

    F.  Station Affiliates Dropping Santa Barbara

	Santa Barbara will not only be picked up by the NBC affiliates which
	dropped it, but will also be shown as reruns on CBS at 11:30PM as
	"Sheriff Castillo"


II. Foreign Affairs


    A.  European Unity

	All European countries should follow France's lead and make
	Santa Barbara their number 1 show.  Julie's "Catch You On The
	Flip Side" grandson Chip will also be the featured star on a
	new soap based in Europe called "London Lives" (LL).  He will
	play a rock promoter turned Psychiatrist.

    B.  Eastern Europe After Soviet Union

	Obviously fertile ground for new and established soaps, the
	opening of the Iron Curtain will provide Doug Williams a
	chance to escape from his Soviet captors to return to Salem,
	do an anonymous leverage buyout of Wings from Julie, then
	give it to her as a present, renamed Doug's Place On The Lake.
	The tearful, happy reunion of Doug and Julie by 1994 is
	Quince and DaCobb's #1 Quality Storyline Priority.

    C.  Ex-Soviet Union

	The establishment of many little countries, now with open
	economies, many without laundry detergent, is in great need
	for Another World, a Proctor and Gamble production.  Their
	slogan:  "Communists are out;  Tide's IN!"

    E.  Far East

	Carly Manning will be sent to China for humanitarian
	purposes - Ours, not theirs!  While there she goes to Tibet,
	takes up a strange Buddist cult, puts a jewel in her navel,
	and last seen on a modest mountain top in the Himalayas,
	driving in circles in a beat up VW bus singing "The Hills
	Are Alive...With the Sound of Salem Jazz In The Park..."

    G.  Mid-East and the New World Order

	Mike Horton will be a featured character on a new Mid-East
	soap opera called "Days of our Lox".  It will pit two
	families, one Jewish, one Palestinian, against Victor
	Hussain.

    H.  Africa

	We will implement the storyline penned so well recently
	by the Furiously Scribbling Guava Shrubbery.
	
	Also, we mention other scenarios penned by Onions,
	Potatoes, and other assorted fruits and nuts not related
	to Africa, but worthy of inclusion in storylines none the
	less.  See the FBSR's writing committee below.

    I.  Non-NBC Soaps

	The Soap Box platform welcomes all comers, NBCers and
	others alike.  We welcome the competition from the other
	networks, and believe that all citizens have the innate
	right to watch other soaps when the writing gets bad
	on NBC soaps.  This right ends, however, when it comes
	to forsaking the USENET posts about DOOL, AW or SB.


Summary:  To repeat, the tearful, happy reunion of Doug and Julie
          by 1994 is Quince and DaCobb's #1 Quality Storyline Priority.
We will bring the power of the Presidency to do all we can, despite
recent rumors of Julie's departure, to assure the citizenry of this
great nation a Soap Opera with Doug and Julie together.  This couple,
along with Tom and Alice, will be featured prominently in all storylines
about characters introduced within a calendar year.  This should
provide:  1.  Quality Storylines
	  2.  Quality Acting
	  3.  Storyline Consistency

Also, a Federal Bureau of Soap Review (FBSR) will be established,
consisting of USENET posters/lurkers to R.A.T.S, who will review
storylines as they unfold.  If, at any time, a storyline strays
from the 3 items listed above, the writers will be replaced by a
writing committee chosen from the Peel/Core families by the FBSR
until a permanent replacement true to the Soap Box Platform can be
found.

----------------End of Platform--------------------------------


There it is!  And since you all are now printing this platform so you
can show it to your friends and fellow voters, I will leave you
and the Press to examine it.  Remember....

Step up on the SoapBox and be heard!  Be part of the Peel Phenomenon!
Quince and DaCobb in '92!

-Core Non DaCobb
-- 
Rick Morris                            Email:  rick@sadtler.com
Sadtler Research Labs, Philadelphia   -But I speak for myself
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Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps