From: rmr@acsu.buffalo.edu (Richard M. Romanowski)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: i'mscaredi'mscaredTHEHELLIAM!!
Summary: abc
Keywords: abc
Date: 15 Apr 92 01:19:36 GMT
Organization: UB

This is for everyone who ever feels like:
I'mscaredI'mscaredi'mscaredi'mscared....
and also for Warrior and anyone else who doesn't mind making themselves scary

	Through media, accustom yourself with images of seemingly
unstoppable things:  infantry landing boats rolling ashore and dropping their
prows to disgorge troops, tanks rolling over obstacles, heavy-armored
cavalry charges smashing infantry and horse, goose-stepping soldiers
(or hammers for Pink Floyd fans) moving in sync.  Get a *feel* for the
UNIFIED PURPOSE, the grim unstoppability of these things.

	Then, when you walk somewhere, make your spine straight.  Visualize
a black uniform, polished boots, and perhaps a great big crossed-hammer
armband (again, for Pink Floyd fans).  Don't just walk -- stride because
you have a purpose, you have a mission, and resistance is useless.

	Consider the implacable, calm determination of _The_Terminator_'s
title character.  The cyborg killer is really symbolic of modern man:
the vulnerable bits have been scooped out and replaced with a practically
indestructible robot who proceeds with utter disregard for human intimidation.

	Realize that as a survivor, there are no more terrors.  This especially
applies to me because it's happened over and over again -- progressively 
crushing the weak bits that want to forgive or assign blame.  It is no longer
a question of blame -- it is a question of who must be killed in order that
the cycle of rape may be SMASHED and utterly obliterated.

	We have seen the worst.  There is nothing more.  Death is a mercy 
compared to rape.  We therefore have nothing to fear.  

	If, like me, your first memory of human interaction is being raped,
contemplate that you NEVER were a virgin, that you have no human virtues to
be stained.  You are a changeling, a thing of darkness cast out from the weak
world of humans.  The things that can hurt humans cannot stop you.  You may
feel pain -- your body may experience damage -- but they cannot kill the
Will to Survive;  they cannot kill the Will to Break the Cycle.  All that
is powerful, all that causes the cosmos to be, is Natural:  Rape is Unnatural,
and therefore the whole evolutionary destiny of the Universe is on your side.

	You do not need human allies.  That which is beyond all humanity
will Break the Cycle.  If it is your will to break the cycle, *you* may be
vanquished, but you know that your side will ultimately win.  They may kill
the Survivor, but they cannot kill Survival.  It is better to die than to be
raped:  therefore death is not to be feared -- nor is it to be desired.  If
you are dead you do not know what will happen.  If you are alive you are in
a superior tactical position to break the cycle.


	When you have thrown yourself forward, hell-bent for leather, with
all your being focused on your purpose (which would be Holy, if anything
were Holy) you shall find a dark and unconquerable laughter screaming forward
from you, striking down all that opposes as by a sharp sword proceeding from
your mouth.  The shall pain cease but life shall continue, and you shall know
all the pleasures that mortals may know -- and more -- and yet this shall be
only the crown of your honor, the way-station beside the endless Road that
is the Way, the Truth, the Light.







Luck
Rick