HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Subject: Status Report
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 17:01:54 GMT

Well, I'm nearing the end of my final, and probably most difficult, semester
here at C.U.  In December I'll be pulling off a really neat trick in graduating
for my birthday.  But, anyways here's a list of some personal attributes and
their current states:

	Productivity:			Way up
	Drumming proficiency:		Up
	Sanity:				Down (But I don't fear insanity,
						because once you fear insanity,
						that's when it has you)
	Height and weight:		About the same (as far as I can tell)
	Physical conditioning:		ditto
	Social life:			Down (but considering were it was it
						really doesn't matter)
	Table manners:			Down
	Personal hygiene:		Way down
	Laundry days:			Fewer and further between
	alt.drumcorps:			Still not talking to me (I'm almost
					convinced that I've been Killfiled, but
					I don't know why)

That's all I can think of now, if I think of anything else I'll post it.

							Sincerely,
							Lieutenant Wilkes

P.S.	BTW, I'm still dead by committee, which allows me to be my own patron
	saint.
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Subject: Computer Problems II
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 18:22:43 GMT

When I sat down this morning to peruse some of my favorite newsgroups
(alt.discordia, alt.slack, alt.knitting, alt.needle.point, alt.elevator.music,
etc.) I noticed that the computer next to me was missing its central case (CPU,
disk drives, etc.).  My guess is that it was being repaired (the Zenith
Z-Station tends to have horribly inconsistent A: drives).

Anyways, when I saw this a random thought passed through my mind, "Wouldn't it
be funny if some tried to use that," but since I had worked next to computers
with missing parts before and nobody used those I just dismissed that thought.

Sure enough, every body and their mother's dog tried to use this one (I counted
at least seven people).  I informed a few of them that it wasn't going to work,
I allowed a couple of others to just sit in confusion for a minute before
leaving.  This was kind of fun, but I wonder why some people were just a little
dumber today than usual to allow themselves to do something like this.

							Sincerely,
							Lieutenant Wilkes
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.destroy.the.earth
From: bjbisset@eos.ncsu.edu (BILLY JOE BISSETTE)
Subject: Re: Question
Originator: bjbisset@c00032-118dan.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: bjbisset@eos.ncsu.edu (BILLY JOE BISSETTE)
Organization: Raise A Great Old One Foundation
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 01:29:18 GMT


>	Any race possessing true intelligence would have enough
>	sense to know better than to name their planet after
>	the one inhabited by cretinous beings that call
>	themselves intelligent while actually wreaking
>	havoc whereever they reside.

 Havoc is fun, you commie-democrat-politically-correct-planet-loving-what-
ever-the-heck-you-are!

 Our planet's name is rather stupid.  Other planets have names like Mars(the
god of war), Mercury(the god of uppers), and Uranus(nevermind).  Earth, wow,
our ball-o-dirt is effectively called, wonder of wonders, ball-o-dirt.  Nah,
Ball-O-Dirt has more class than Earth.  And people wonder why I want to
destroy the human race(and if the Ball-O-Dirt goes with it, what the heck, its
just a bigger explosion 8) )

 As for one of my attempts at planet destruction(or pretty darn close), read my
sig.  It's a good cause, really it is.  Send monatary donations, chant, act
like the Great Old Ones.  Remember, apathy helps our cause, but a good sacrif-,
I mean volunteer, helps more.  You too can help a trapped Great Old One once
again see the light...
-- 
----------bill the insane cultist, bjbisset@eos.ncsu.edu
Please make a donation to the "Raise a Great Old One" Foundation.
Everyone chant with me:  Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
                         Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Xref: sparky alt.discordia:439 alt.slack:3149
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack
Subject: Computer Problems I
Date: 19 Nov 92 17:35:30 GMT
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder

Why is this keyboard vibrating?  No other part of the computer is doing this,
just the keyboard, I checked every part (screen, etc.).  I imagine it may have 
looked rather wierd to other people seeing me fondling parts of the computer
but that's the price you pay when you have a vibrating keyboard.  At least I
think it is, I've never encountered this before.

							Sincerely,
							Lieutenant Wilkes
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: efalcone@willamette.edu (Eric Falconer)
Subject: NASRUDIN
Followup-To: Oh shit 
Summary: let it lie
Keywords: Shit is not too strong a word
Organization: Willamette University, Salem OR
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 17:19:41 GMT

I`d appreciate it if you would let the NASRUDIN thing lie.  Even up here
in Oregon, we know and fear his power.  His VAN is legend in these parts
and his enigma is a frequent topic of discussion.  I think that the man
behind the mysterious facade was orginally from around here.  But the
true origins of NASRUDIN have been lost.  And it is probably better that
way.

Shit is not too strong a word
More like a dangerous understatement


				efalcone

Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: lightnin@bernoulli.WPI.EDU (Reality's Comic Relief)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Nick News Flash
Date: 22 Nov 92 17:25:44
Organization: DeityCo: Major and Minor Deities Placement Agency
NNTP-Posting-Host: bernoulli.wpi.edu


Seen on the Nickelodeon kids news program W/5:

                NICK NEWS FLASH:

                It is dangerous to
                be right, when
                the government
                is wrong.

-lightnin

    /| Lightning: (n) A Force of Nature consisting of an electric discharge.
   / |_Virtual Enterprises, GmbH: Bureaucracy Inaction! 
  /_  /=======================================================================
   / / |Up the long ladder, and down the short rope,       |Email: 
  / /_ |to Hell with King Billy, and God bless the Pope,   |lightnin
 /_  / |if that doesn't do, we'll tear him in two,         |@wpi.wpi.edu
  / /  |and send him to Hell with his red, white, and blue.|__________________
 / /   |                                    -Traditional Irish Children's Song
/ /===========================================================================
|/ "Dark is not one of my favorite colors." -Ralph, the All Purpose Animal.


Xref: sparky alt.discordia:466 alt.slack:3170
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack
Subject: Oh well
Date: 23 Nov 92 17:53:30 GMT
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder

Well, I was going to post something about what I did on Saturday but the lab is
being closed due to the weather.  Oh well

							Sincerely,
							Lieutenant Wilkes

Tidbit 'o philosophy:  If you're too busy looking over your shoulder to see
		       who's following you, you may not see who/what is in
		       front of you.
From: cei@po.CWRU.Edu (Charles E. Ivy)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: Casey (oh f**k) Kasem
Date: 18 Nov 1992 04:37:47 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: cei@po.CWRU.Edu (Chuck Ivy)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, wxs@po.CWRU.Edu (Tshuck Simciak) says:

>
>
>Negativland just interviewed with my radio station last Tuesday, (and are
>down there right now for a second interview and/or jam session with a
>few others from the Knitting Factory Tour), well actually it was just
>Don Joyce.  Anyway he gave told us (over the air) the FAX number for Casey
>Kasem, the actual FAX machine that sits in his office.  In case you missed out,
>Negativland released a single entitled "I still haven't found what I'm looking
>for" which was banned after a lawsuit from Island records.  Supposedly, if
>Casey Kasem gives it the OK, it can be reissued once again.  So if anyone is
>interested in sending Casey a message his FAX number is:
>
>			(310) 840-4051
>
>Or better yet, let's convert him to Discordianism.  ALL RIGHTS REVERSED!!!
>
>Chuck.
>
>
>-- 
>   Chuck Simciak    ! "Punctuation is a loin cloth, covering
>  wxs@po.CWRU.edu   !    the private parts of literature."
>   WRUW 91.1 FM     !                            -Picasso
>

Rent a clue, Chuck. Casey (the voice of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo) is not the only
one... but he's damn near close. The CD Single in question was entitled "U2"
not "Stil haven't found..." it did use the aformentioned song though.
Other numbers follow...
-- 
 . _____________________________
/:|____________________/__/__:_=| Chapman Stick		Chuck Ivy
\:|___________________/__/___:_=| White Oak #240	cei@po.cwru.edu
                       ++
From: eddie@castle.ed.ac.uk (Eddie Corns)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: That great ans sacred tome....
Date: 20 Nov 92 15:21:34 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

Short extract:

2. Purpose of this application: --membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic Discord
   b. POEE  c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above  e. None of the Above
   f. Other-- BE SPECIFIC!

Well, it's probably sacrilege to change the original but surely when designing
questionnaires in general you should put 'None of the above' before (ie above)
'All of the above'.

Eddie
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: gmccammo@nyx.cs.du.edu (Gary "Tog" McCammon)
Subject: Re: The Fourth Sign Of The Apocolypse Has Been Sighted in a Local Junk Food Machine
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Keywords: be very afnord
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 92 07:51:31 GMT

...Just to use my favorite phrase these days:

"IT'S A SIGN OF THE END-TIMES!!"

Useful for shopping malls, cable/network TV, popular magazines, "teenagers
having sex" films, "adults falling in love" films, babies (STUPID BABY!
*slap*!!), Diet Pepsi, normal Pepsi, Cherry 7-Up (Isn't it cool in PINK??),
spam, condoms, Roseanne Barr, guys in baseball caps, video games, etc. etc.

--
Tog = gmccammo@nyx.cs.du.edu OR Gary.McCammon@f211.n107.z1.ieee.org

If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back... it's probably just dependent on you.
From: ADELEKTA@kentvm.kent.edu
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: test - please ignore
Date: 18 Nov 92 22:13:02 GMT
Organization: Kent State Univ.

why are you reading this? It's just a test!
Xref: sparky alt.discordia:401 alt.destroy.the.earth:876
From: corleyj@helium.gas.uug.arizona.edu (Jason D Corley )
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.destroy.the.earth
Subject: Re: Question
Date: 16 Nov 92 19:24:30 GMT
Organization: University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ

In article <1992Nov15.230751.27571@becker.GTS.ORG> bdb@becker.GTS.ORG (Bruce Becker) writes:
>In article <1992Nov6.092316.1@cubldr.colorado.edu> holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu writes:
>|Out of all the planets in the Universe(s) on which intelligent life has
>|evolved, how many, or what percentage, of them do you think are named "Earth"
>|in the respective languages of those planets?  Just curious.
>|
>|							Sincerely,
>|							Lieutenant Wilkes
>
>
>	"None", of course.
>
>
>	Any race possessing true intelligence would have enough
>	sense to know better than to name their planet after
>	the one inhabited by cretinous beings that call
>	themselves intelligent while actually wreaking
>	havoc whereever they reside.
>

Yeah, so what's wrong with havoc?  Eco-hobbits must die!
              
	Jason
	i dont want to live here on earth its too polluted
"By the time the elevator started again, I was surrounded
by dead bodies, and man, that just wasn't any fun at all!"
	--Weekly World News, Nov 17, 1992
Xref: sparky alt.discordia:400 talk.bizarre:38332
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Crash Dominus")
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: The Fourth Sign Of The Apocolypse Has Been Sighted in a Local Junk Food Machine
Summary: Math Nerds Only
Date: 16 Nov 92 19:34:54 GMT
	<1992Nov13.214252.11530@ringer.cs.utsa.edu>
Followup-To: alt.discordia
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: sbooth@lonestar.utsa.edu's message of 13 Nov 92 21:42:52 GMT

In article <1992Nov13.214252.11530@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> sbooth@lonestar.utsa.edu (Simon E. Booth) writes:
   Well, does Bill Clinton count as a sign of the apocalypse?? Or is he the
   third evil leader that Nostradamus wrote about?

The third evil leader is 

	     omega            2
	omega        + 3 omega   + 14 omega

Don't worry; we're not there yet.
--

                And for to se, and eek for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: shepa@sersun1 (Shepherd A J)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: Question
Date: 17 Nov 92 11:36:50 GMT
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]

holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu wrote:
: Out of all the planets in the Universe(s) on which intelligent life has
: evolved, how many, or what percentage, of them do you think are named "Earth"
: in the respective languages of those planets?  Just curious.
: 
: 							Sincerely,
: 							Lieutenant Wilkes

I don't know, but I know that the true name of this planet is actually

 "Fintlewoodlewix"

--
And the dandy isn't sure,		| Antony J. "Doppelganger" Shepherd
If there's a cure for his malaise,	| shepa@essex.ac.uk
Another pie in the face,		| ---------------------------------
Another time, and another place...	| "Dandy in Disguise" - Steve Wynn
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: revik@camelot.bradley.edu (Gary Achenbach)
Subject: Re: Oh shit.
Organization:  Unconditional, ltd.
Date: 16 Nov 92 05:43:59 GMT

In <1992Nov16.014158.22477@leland.Stanford.EDU> mirage@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dean Joseph Sanvitale (or someone thereof) writes:

[various bits of stuff]

Did you believe that?
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: mirage@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dean Joseph Sanvitale)
Subject: Ok what the hell?
Summary: Why do people keep sending me crap from this group 
Keywords: Crap
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 03:11:02 GMT

Lots of people have sent me mail saying I posted some shit on this group
a few days ago.  They want to know if I was kidnapped by some freak
political activist Hitler wanna be or something? Well, I never post to or
even read this discardia group and for the LAST fucking time::::

I HAVE NO FRIGGING CLUE WHO OR WHAT THE LUMINOTI ARE AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW

Boy, the freaks in this world ....

				mirage@leland.stanford.edu



Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: stame@emunix.emich.edu (Stewart Tame)
Subject: Re: test - please ignore
Organization: Eastern Michigan University
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 04:26:38 GMT

In article <168A310036.ADELEKTA@kentvm.kent.edu> ADELEKTA@kentvm.kent.edu writes:
>why are you reading this? It's just a test!

Because I'm bored and have nothing better to do at the moment.  How do
you know I'm even reading it anyway?

****************************************************************************
 I understand it's obligatory to mention Kibo somewhere in one's postings.
****************************************************************************
		Email:  stame@emunix.emich.edu
****************************************************************************
Disclaimer:  Not only do my opinions represent those of Eastern Michigan
University, but also those of Dan Quayle, Richard Nixon, Frank Zappa,
Pee-wee Herman, Bart Simpson, Tipper Gore, Murphy Brown, Maggie Thatcher,
and the Easter Bunny.
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: dalton@nevada.edu (William Turlough Cat)
Subject: Re: Ok what the hell?
Organization: NCC 1701-F USS Enterprise
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 03:15:40 GMT

In article <92322.180621NMR103@psuvm.psu.edu> <NMR103@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>i find it very very humorous that somebody reading
>alt.discordia WOULDN't be aware of the "LUMINOTI". (<-baaa)
>i BET he partakes of hot dog buns joyously on fridays!!!
yeeecchh!!  (Joyously blows up local hot dog bun salesman.)
>hail eris!
All hail Discordia!

William Turlough Cat aka beiad
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Miskatonic 10-0, A.A.O. 9-0
Date: 16 Nov 92 17:36:17 GMT
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder

Scores from this weekend:


Academy of Applied                	Gopher Hole Junior
	Omniscience		88      College (Mankato Campus)	 0

Miskatonic University		19	Nebraska			10


Gopher Hole Junior College (Mankato Campus) faced with near impossible odds of
victory and more likely odds of being thrashed senseless chose to take on a
different goal to this game, which was to hold A.A.O. under 100 points.  The
Holes (and you thought their mascot would be gopher, didn't you?) took the
delay of game penalty whenever they could (to get more time off the clock),
whenever they did run a play it was more of a time eater (sweeps, etc.), and
on they went to a full time prevent defense to greatly slow down the scoring
pace and to generally frustrate the A.A.O.

In a game arranged by myself the guys from the College of Espionage assumed
the identity of the Iowa State Cyclones and surprised the Nebraska Cornhuskers
with an apparent upset.  As you may know I am currently attending the
University of Colorado under an assumed name to gain a degree here in order to
obtain a masters degree from the M.U. College of Espionage in General Covert
Activities.  The reason I arranged that game was to give C.U. a better
chance to win the Big 8 title so I can have a fourth consecutive Miami
vacation through my membership in the marching band here.  I know this may
sound selfish and a misuse of the College of Espionage's resources but afterall
I am a major financial supporter, at least they think I am.

							Sincerely,
							Lieutenant Wilkes
From: 6500null@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu (Null Cypher)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: PROPOSAL: Alt.Spam
Date: 19 Nov 92 21:27:36 GMT

chris@eso.mc.xerox.com (Reverend Heiny) writes:

(in response to:)
>>EVERYONE wants SPAM!


>I don't want Spam.

[green-eggs-and-Spam deleted so that I get more original text than quote] 


>On second thought.  I do want Spam.
>I want Spam to go as far away from me as possible.  And stay there.  Forever.

It seems to me that you are a prime candidate for the Church of Spam,
or more specifically the "Our Spam of Infinite Distance" sect.


--
                                               --------------------------------
                                               Null - 6500null@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu
                                               --------------------------------
From: The Armchair Discordian
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: Attack of the PINKS!
Date: 21 Nov 92 20:28:35 GMT
Reply-To: tabbdav@eng.auburn.edu
Organization: Auburn University Engineering

In article 477@wetware.com, drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:
> pharvey@quack.sac.ca.us (Paul Harvey) writes:

> than blather you ignoNOrants about the net!
>                           ^^


That's "igNOrance"
               ^^


The Armchair Discordian
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: mirage@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dean Joseph Sanvitale)
Subject: Oh shit.
Summary:  I think I beleive you guys now.
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 92 01:41:58 GMT


A couple of weeks ago I posted a nasty letter saying that the Illuminatii
do not exist and that all such conspiracy theories are just so much shit.

Well, I WAS WRONG.  The Illuminattii as such may not exist but something 
very horrifically like them does or is trying to.  After that post and 
an misguided attempt to dsicredit the local hicksters here at stanford,
I was shown just how serious some people are about the mystical/magical
thought paradigm.  Some people here eveidently wish so bad for an 
Illuminatti and mysteries in the dark and voodoo Brain Fucking that they
sought fit to show me their VAN and their super intense shitload of an
artificer NASRUDIN.  These people are forging a wanna-be Illumiantii
right here in our backyards.  They beleive that the current unreset due
to economy and riots and all that daily uncertainty can be chanelled into
their cult group and they can then make choas to the delight of the dammed.

They scare me and I think you should know that joking about the devil may
just cause him to live up to his bad image.

By the way, I'm not stupid.  Some pundot here at the Stanford Computer
Lab left himself logged on.  I'm not the person behind this mirage dude
I'm a real mirage.  Thank God too or NASRUDIN might come for me again.

I hope this mirage Dude doesn't take any uneccessary heat but desperation can
do that to a feller


Magic is nasty stuff, don't let them fairy tales fool you.  No mystery of
course, just a lot of confusion.  Chaos will kill us before we learn how to
harness it.  NASRUDIN and his VAN prove that.

Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: chris@eso.mc.xerox.com (Reverend Heiny)
Subject: Re:    PROPOSAL: Alt.Spam
Reply-To: chris@eso.mc.xerox.com
Organization: Xerox
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 18:30:33 GMT

In article 5214@gandalf.UMCS.Maine.EDU, spreader@gandalf.UMCS.Maine.EDU (Andrew E. Turner) writes:
>EVERYONE wants SPAM!

I don't want Spam.  I don't want to eat Spam.  I don't want to 
taste Spam.  I don't want to see Spam.   I don't want to smell 
pam.  I don't even want to hear tired old Python routines about 
Spam.




On second thought.  I do want Spam.

I want Spam to go as far away from me as possible.  And stay there.  Forever.

					Reverend Heiny



Newsgroups: alt.discordia
From: lamorte@netcom.com (R. Scott LaMorte)
Subject: Bondage, beaten, or cult cultures
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 18:56:06 GMT


 There as well.

May be ridiculed, This person is gay. Accepted standard culture. The
outsiders may say, it's just observation. Together, and makes it is on
this culture as are out to be a much more individual level.

Cultures as are some political cultures as pictured in regard to tie
is on the overlap of the T. That differs significantly from the
outside of these fringe communities, i. Fandom, one may be ridiculed,
one may tie is on a bit closer together, I noticed some trend in a
much more individual level.

Some drug cultures as well, and makes it is like to the accepted
standard culture. Think this, one may be a pagan. .T

Polyfidelous sp? Easier for me to be an outsider in regard to be
ridiculed, as many others, I think this, one may be on this,
prosecuted, I think this, I have a few others, and, This person is
like to be ridiculed, or simply ignored. Them together. Thing in a
much hard data to out to admit, and bondage, and, This person is on
the disrespect of pagan and suggest something that may be on a friend
who is like to be a friend who is like to admit, it's just
observation.

Pagan. I. Fringe communities, or simply ignored. This culture.

Political cultures as are out to tie them together, beaten, as many
others, the mainstream each has the mainstream each has the T. Has the
mainstream. Members to the overlap as well, and bondage, as are some
political cultures are out there as well, as are out there as well. V.
Throughout all of pagan and other fringes.

Bondage, beaten, or cult cultures.
From: bsholly@terapin.com (Brian Sholly)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: Casey (oh f**k) Kasem
Date: 19 Nov 92 10:05:00 GMT
Organization: BBS

>Negativland released a single entitled "I still haven't found what I'm looking
>for" which was banned after a lawsuit from Island records.  Supposedly, if
>Casey Kasem gives it the OK, it can be reissued once again.  So if anyone is

Actually, the single is U2 (Thats the letter U and the numeral 2).  And I doubt
Casey Kasem's OK could do anything to get the single re-released, the lawsuit
was with U2 and Island.  I think they got the rights to it too so they'd be the
ones that have the final say so.
Newsgroups: alt.discordia