Newsgroups: bit.listserv.cinema-l
Date:         Thu, 15 Oct 1992 22:09:06 CST
From:         "Dick Clawson, S.J." <CLAWSON@LOYNOVM.BITNET>
Subject:      Winds of Something:Review

Here we are pals and gals on the free roamin' prarie of Debateland, where
the women are smart, the children nurtured and the men all wear rep ties.

The good governer from Arkanasas, who is so confident of victory that he
has already contracted a fleet of towtrucks to haul his junked car collection
to the White House lawn, stated that the winds of freedom were a-blowin' all
over the world, well, folks (to borry a Texan form of colloquial address) I
definitely detected some winds blowin' all over that stage.  The problem,
freedom doesn't smell like THAT!  Yes, I cry verbal flatulence when it is
served!  If I were to equitably review this debate I would need to call up
my Sunday night review and change a word here and there, lighten up a little,
not obnoxiously drive certain points home, yet not change the basic content.
I would then expect you to be grateful to me for introducing this same crap
in a new format!
      BUT NO!  I cannot abandon my bulletin-board integrity THAT easily.  I
didn't sit through a 1 & 1/2 hour session of Deja Vu (I know, that isn't
what Deja Vu really means, but isn't that what politics is all about?) I
didn't...etc...Deja Vu in order to leave the mansion on St. Charles Ave.,
cross traffic and fight my way through desperate C.P. majors trying to
finish midterms only to say I have nothing to say.  I made copious notes
during the debates (what are copious?  more than for my History of Philosophy
course this morning, and we're talkin' Aristotle!) and i have now decided to
disregard them for fear  fo being too  unbiased.  Yes I am biased, I hate
 them all.  I'd vote Libertarian if I knew what the candidate's name was.
(O.K., I wouldn't actually vote Libertarian, I'll probably write myself in)
Anyhoo,  J.R.,  I mean H.R. brought up an interesting tidbit about the debt
(besides the fact that it is 4 tril.)  According to the non-political experts
that surround the billionaire, we (the people) go a billion dollars deeper
in debt every day!  He pointed out that during the course of the debate we (the
people would go $50 Mil deeper in debt.  I am inspired, theoretically, every
 minute that I spend typing this review sinks us more than $500K in debt.  I
personally hope to make this at least a $20 million review,  hey if I really
feel spleeny, maybe even $30 mil. and I can assure you all, I'm plenty full
of it tonight and i feel that i could make this a 35, no make that a 40 Mil
review!  And when you add the time that you all will spend reading, printing
and sharing this posting, we could easily making this THE MOST EXPENSIVE
REVIEW IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.  What power! How Thrilling!  O.K., lets get
mean...
    H.Ross, looking like the symbol for "in stereo" that showtime uses before
 a feature presentation, seemed very comfortable in his spiffy med. gray,
he was relaxed and collected as he explained how much of his own money he was
spending in order to NOT get elected.   He looked bemused as he described the
"Big Sucking Sound  DOWN THERE"  perhaps that was Clinton's "Wind of Freedom"
blowing somebody, I mean somewhere.  An interesting note on "Perot" as far
 as cognates go, in Spanish "pero" means but, and "perro" (with rolled R)
means "dog"  Hmm...let's see...but,dog,but,dog,but,dog...DOGBUTT!!! the secret
is finally revealed, and you heard it here first.  H. Ross Perot is, in all
actuality, the selfsame Alien which He accused of screwing up the economy, and
who simply used poor judgement in selecting an "American" moniker.  When Ross
wasn't plugging his info-mercials (tune in tomorrow on NBC to see my 'Merican
as apple Pie Charts!) he was spouting "$4 trillion national debt, $4 trillion
national debt!"  I don't know about you folks, but I thought that intense
fascination with one object was indicative of Autism...(no condemnation of
Autists from me yall, I don't mean to impugn their reputation by comparing
them to the candidates)  Well enough for now, but more later on the would-be
imaginary candidate...
     Bill Clinton, by referring to some of the sexist cracks made by his
wife, daughter and mother proves to the world that his eyes are NOT the
only place where Clinton has unsseemly bags.  (O.K.  I know I'm opening
myself up for using the term "bags" to refer to women but, A) It was used in
the interest of humor, and B) It is one of the milder words I can summon
up in ref. to Hilary.)  Bill has a solid argument against line item vetoes.
He certainly has a lot to fear if the president can cut out that which is
"Pork Barrell"!  (I wonder if Bill has tried Seldane (TM) an excellent
allergy medicine that won't make you drowsy, or at least putting cucumbers
on his eyes...)  Another good hair day for slick willie, although I simply
cannot accept the hair over the top of the ear, what kind of drugged-up
hippie-freak does he think we want in the Oval office?  The answer is..
we only want the BEST drugged-up hippie-freak in the...wait a minute...
Poor Bill, he looks like a character from DICK TRACY, that big ol' head
and that little face, and those Beady eyes... I am still trying to figure
out how he is planning the 200K unemployed defense workers to work on
high-speed rail or waste elimination programs.  Does he believe that because
someone is an electrical engineer, they can leap gaily from field to field
like the fry guy at a fast food restaraunt?  I tried to understand it from
 a personal P.O.V.  I am a musician, at times I've played bassoon in a
professional capacity...by Clinton's standards, if there is a glut of Bassoon
players and i find myself left out by lack of demand, because I am a musician,
I can step in and play bagpipes because there is a definite need for pro-
bagpipers, boy, I always wanted to play the bagpipes!  Wild Bill also stated
that he was concerned about the economy because at the turn of the century
Baby-Boomers (Clinton specified himself in this category) will be retiring
and he doesn't want to be left in the cold.  Hmm...good point Bilbo Baggins,
but tell me, who got fat during Reaganomics?  Who got the T.V. shows? Who
is getting inummerable analogies to mid-life crisis in todya's cinema?
The Baby Boomers!  You've gotten and are getting yours love-children, at
least Perot and Bush are concerned for the grandchildren.  Hmm... what's that
big sucking sound I hear?
    Mr. President three-initials-before-his-last-name Bush will probably
turn into a prince when Bar gives him a smooch tonight.  I say that because
he was toadying to Perot throughout the debate (I know that my friend Ross
will agree...)  Perot had shake some seriopus boodie to avoid the pursed
 lips of our Commander in Chief.  (If you all are expecting some cheap gag
about the big sucking sound down there, i'm afraid you'll be dissapointed!)
The smouldering Bush was warm tonight, he got the best line of the night
when he described the Clinton White House as the "Waffle House".  Poor
George probably had to go potty mighty bad because he kept checking his
watch.  Either that or he was upset 'cause he was missing THE SIMPSONS.
While the Tazmanian Devil, I mean Ross Perot, claimed that he would work
gratis, I mean, what's $200K per annum for him?  George quickly claimed that
he wouldn't give up his compenasation, somehow blaming Bar.  Of course, they
are only worth about $65 mil, so they need every penny...

HERE ARE THE STANDINGS:
     (NOTE: RDC news services conducted a poll and the results reflect
            100%  percent accuracy)

Ross Perot stands the shortest, Bush the tallest and Clinton in between.

HIGHLIGHTS OF DIALOGUE FROM THE DEBATE:

Q:  What will you do to get guns off of the street?
     Perot:  "I'll pay $1,000 dollars apiece for 'em"

Q:  What will you do if social security, pension and Medicaid go bankrupt?
    Bush: File chapter 7
    Clinton: File Chapter 11
    Perot: File chapter 13, and change my mind, then pay for it out of my
           Christmas club account, then change my mind again, then quit.

Q:  Which minority figure could you envision in the White House?
    Bush: Colin Powell
    Clinton: He's never played golf with a minority, so he's not at liberty
             to name one right now.
    Perot: Bill "Mr. Bojangles" Robinson, or Inez, his most trusted housekeeper

BEST STORIES/IMAGES FROM PEROT:

The middle eastern countries going to Russian "garage sales" to get great
    prices on used military weaponry.

The story of the Texas boy who had a prizewinning chicken and who missed
    65 excused days of school to attend livestock fairs.  Happy ending, though
    the lad returned to school after the chicken lost its feathers.
     (*Hey, I couldn't make THAT up*)

That it costs more to send someone to jail than to Harvard... Hmm...I bet you
could get a great football team out of San Quentin...

for those of you who didn't suffer through tonight's debacle, you're lucky!
No mud wuz slung, and that's all we really want, isn't it?  Well, I'll
keep slinging whenever a cheap shot comes open!  This was a kinder, gentler
debate, with controlled tempers and very little "character" issues.  I only
heard "tax & spend" and "trickle down" once each tonight, but basically it
was the same as last Sunday and will probably be the same as the next.  At
this point it doesn't seem like anyone is going to screw themselves royally
in the next couple of days.  How depressing.

THE WINNER:
                   Carole Simpson, the intrepid moderator.  She managed to
avoid any similarity to Oprah while still assuring that race and gender
issues were addressed, albeit briefly and incoherently.

THE TWO STUPIDEST COMMENTS:
                          Georgy-pordgy,  he first stated that "portable"
was a "big word".  Excuse me George but in this world of "portable" CD
players, computers, televisions, FAXes, and buildings where elementary
students invariably take at least one class, i don't think that the average
viewer is beneath the concept of portable.  Even road crews are familiar
with Porta-Potties...Secondly...."some of you may remember the riots in Los
Angeles earlier this year..."  And what riots were those George?  $700 mil
in damages to downtown L.A......nooooooo......no, can't say i remember.
PLEASE!

Ahora, mis amigos (y amigas) esta es todo.
RDC,SJ
P.S. Am I expected to watch the Perot programs?     -Dick