HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Apartment Peeves
Date: 10 Oct 92 01:28:57 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

hosch2263@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:

>In article <1b3chrINNnpl@agate.berkeley.edu>, henken@ocf.berkeley.edu 
>(Matthew J. Henken) writes:



>> Peeve:  Construction noise from renovation of other apartments.

>        Try living with the #@$$#@ construction.  We lived in the second story
>of a house which the landlord decided to renovate.  He tore out a wall and
>expanded the second floor to be even with the first.  In doing so...

You were lucky :-) What we've got are the Builders From Hell. They claim
that they're only fixing up the pointing on the chimmney stacks, but
from the amount of ye olde Scottish Sonework they're passing down the
scaffolding, they're actually stealing the building piece by piece. 


And very noisily too.  And far too bloody early in the morning what's
more.  And even worse, one day I stay in bed to recover from the general
shit that life throws at me lately, and interrupting my snoozing
somlolesence comes

a
a
a
a
a
r
r
r
g
g
g
h
h
h
h
!
!
!
!
THUD!!!!!


followed slightly later by "I've called the ambulance".

So I get up to the window and look. A builder is lying in the road with
lots of blood pouring from his head. I guess he fell from the
scaffolding. The ambulance people ask him 

a) does it hurt?
b) what year is it?
c) who is Prime Minister this week?

and accept one out of three as representative of the British Public in
your average Poll After Having Collided With A Medium Size Planet.

Of course it was difficult to sleep after that, and since, being a
bunnyhugger, i got sick rather than having an erection, it was difficult
to eat either. You can get to really hate gravity at times.

>He had the nerve to complain about our dirty dishes in the sink.  When I
>cleaned out the sink, I found a six inch spike at the bottom.

My flatmates would be hard put to find the bloody sink as far as I can tell.

>The plasterers did a rotten job.  The woodwork was spattered and we had to
>clean plaster off of our stuff.

Yes well, it's better than having to clean plasterers off the bloody pavement.

>And, to top it all off, he abandoned our apartment's renovation to work on two
>other projects, leaving us with the mess for six months.

I know what you mean. that guy hasn't been back to finish the job after
all the noise he made the other morning.

>                
>        Now we live in an apartment which is not under construction and is
>owned by a different landlord.  The neighbors are even good about the music.

Yep, I figure if they're gonna fall, they should scream in tune at
least. I guess mastering that ol' Doppler effect requires practice though....

>        Kitten

FoFP
From: mzraly@ra.cs.umb.edu (Cheesy Vitriol)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Recipes for the New Depression
Date: 8 Oct 92 03:55:47 GMT
Organization: UMass/Boston Dept. of Math & CS

In article <1992Oct7.174230.7358@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>
>	[ "spaetlese" v. "spaetzle" discussion deleted ]
>
>Peeve': my brain seems to have only 2 language slots: English and
>"other". This leads to interesting situation where I'll use a Spanish
>article with a German word.

My wife is from California, and her ancestry is half Mexican, so it is
common for her to drop the odd Spanish word or phrase, which I pick
up.  I took German through four years of high school, so I've been
known to lapse into the odd German word or phrase, which Stacy picks
up.  So these days we occasionally say things like "was ein pentejo!"
or "si, ich versteh'".

Peeve-and-!Peeve:  Our kids, when we have them, are gonna end up not
knowing what's English, what's Spanish, or what's German.

Extra-Peeve:  Posting software that filters out the all but the first
four lines of a .sig file without asking the poster if he wants to edit
it first.

-- 
Mike Zraly		If you give me six lines written by the most honest
mzraly@cs.umb.edu	man, I will find something in them to hang him.
				-- Cardinal Richilieu
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Blunderation
Keywords: driving, porcelain, bus
Date: 16 Oct 92 15:08:05 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon


(Alexander Vrchoticky) writes:
>andy, 
>so why do you continue to go on about such exciting
>peeve-worthy topics as the various `definitions' of slut, bitch, etc?

I feel shame in the presence of such obvious truth and light.

Just don't get cocky, Alex.  Your goose-stepping ass would make a fine
christmas dinner.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
 Placard:  "Will work for food"
 Response: "Blow me!"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: Bike peeves
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 11:29:36 GMT

 (Bill Berbenich) writes:

>
>Peeve:   The fact that the admiral's stammering may lead some people to
>         believe that his mind is somehow not fully engaged.

My favorite Stockdale quote from the debate was when the moderator
asked the Admiral to lead the discussion on some issue (economy?).

Admiral: "Ughhh....(puts glasses on)...well....(takes glasses off)...
guess I'm out of ammunition on that one."

Peeve: Ross should have promised the Admiral a cabinet position and
picked a rabid attack dog public (non)speaker like the Danster for his VP.

Scott

Opinions are mine, I am not company spokesman.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: corporate slime
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
	<122860044@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> <1992Oct5.144134.6028@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 21:44:30 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.144134.6028@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
      [ ...defense of imagined one-sided attack against "evil corporations"]

    Peeve:  One-sided attacks against "evil corporations."  You know, the
	    ones that conveniently forget or gloss-over the failures and
	    shortcomings of the corrupt labor unions.

    Labor unions serve the worker, corporate management serves the corporation.
    Got a problem with that?

 Not really. But I never said that corporations were evil, so you can put your
 slobber back in your mouth, Bill.

 However, a slimeball is a slimeball wherever he is, even serving as top
 slimeball for a major corporation.

    Peeve:  Big everything. Big business. Big labor. Big government. Big
	    Brother. Power gets abused by Big.

 L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Oh sure, we could do it the _easy_ way. But it just wouldn't be the COWBOY WAY.

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Lou Reed (was Re: credit card peeve)
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 13:44:13 GMT

In article <1992Oct9.213615.5806@twg.com> donp@twg.com (Don Pette) writes:

>
>Lou Reed came out with what I think was his debut album in 1972 or 1973,
>it was called 'Rock-and-Roll Animal'. Probably had the best two lead
>guitarists of the day. On the album there was a song called 'Heroin'
>and there's an urban legend that Lou actually shot-up during the recording
>of the song. If you've heard the song you'd probably agree. If you've
>seen Lou you'd probably agree.
>

Actually, Lou had been singing Heroin for at least six years before that album
came out.  You can find it on the first Velvet Underground album, which came
out in 1967.  The Velvets had been together for slightly over two years,
working as the house band at the late, great Max's Kansas City in New York, 
when Andy "The Ego that Ate New York" Warhol discovered them, stuck Nico in
as a singer & produced the first album. He also sponsored their sensory over-
loaded tour as part of the Exploding Plastic Inevitable.

I, too, regret that I've not seen Lou perform the song.  However, I did see
Penn Gillette do it justice at Maxwell's in Hoboken.  He was MCing a show for
Half Japanese & the Moe Tucker band.  Moe was the drummer for the Velvets,
and was probably the first woman who made a name for herself in Rock and 
Roll doing more than singing, tapping a tambourine against her hip, and 
occasionally getting on the keyboards.  Anyway, the last song of the night
was Penn singing "Heroin" and eating fire.  Or more appropriately, filling
his mouth with Kerosine and flaming out like a dragon.  Something like
this:

And when the smack is in my blood

   <flame>

And the blood is in my head


  <bigger flame>

Well, you get the idea.  I later found out that Moe was very upset by this.
She said "this is Rock and Roll, not a circus."  If you've ever seen tapes
of the Exploding Plastic Inevitable, you'll appreciate the irony of this
statement.

Jenny
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: While driving to work...
Date: 16 Oct 92 21:10:26 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <1992Oct15.113925.8568@cbnewsl.cb.att.com> jlacey@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (james.w.lacey) writes:
>>....
>
>Part of the problem is that, years ago, Massachusetts had the
>unique law that drivers *entering* the rotary had the right
>of way.  The law was changed to be consistent with the rest
>of the states about 10 years ago.

What, still using a rotary? Don't those idiots know about digital
yet?

Peeve: Dumb street construction. 


ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I would
 not be surprised. " -- Dorothy Parker
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: Fix or repair daily
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 18:32:10 GMT

In article <6ykp9==@lynx.unm.edu> jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann) writes:
    [...]
   DogPeeve:  Tapeworms.  Hunters leave little souvenirs, called gutbags,
   behind them.  Elk eat grass, and nontrivial amounts of their own shit,
   and pass tapeworms around like chicken pox at Sunday School.  Dogs
   are lovable but tasteless characters, and chow down on the gutbags
   (when they're not goosing porcupines, or rolling in cowshit or dead
   rabbits).  And thanks to their diligent anal hygeine, a good case
   of tapeworms is forever.  OTC wormers don't touch tapeworms.  Time
   for a 25-mile trip to the vet.

   These supremely evolved ugly bags of mostly ovaries don't kill or even
   seriously bother their hosts.  I'm not sure why the excreted segments
   need to wriggle around, though.  Maybe it makes them more appetizing.

   This really should be in alt.tasteless, but hell, half of that group
   will see it here anyway.

   Jenny

Hey! You got it, Jenn-erator! My vote for Tasteless of the Day..

Cheers.
L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Show me a man who rides side saddle, and I'll show you a gay ranchero.
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Harpoon 'em if they can't take a joke
Keywords: bleeding-heart bunny huggers, water cannons
Date: 16 Oct 92 18:05:00 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <ldrbfmINNo3@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
(Geoff Miller) writes:
>I think guilt and angst would be better spent in worrying about the plight 
>of our *own* species: famine in Somalia, bloodshed in what used to be 
>Yugoslavia, that sort of thing.  Personally, the lower life forms are *way* 
>down on my list of priorities.

I agree.  When I read about crazed environmentalists raiding experimental
labs and destroying things, I always fanatasize about the good they could
do if set loose in a crowd of politicians.

   don
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: The Usual Trivia
Date: 8 Oct 92 19:09:47 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Ant Refuge

Collecting my thoughts:

Peeve: Bicycles and the behavior of adults thereon. Why do cyclists
in Berkeley, who cannot possibly exceed or even meet the 25mph street
speed limit, insist on pedaling in traffic on University Avenue during
rush hour?

Peeve: Power outages. I hate setting the time on all the little
electronic clocks in my place. I also wish I had not lost my watch
in Albuquerque.

Peeve: Too many errands, too little time, no brain space. I drove to
the bank, realized I forgot my wallet and left. The check I needed
to cash anyway was in my pocket and the bank clerks all knew me and
I could have taken care of that errand if I had only taken the two
seconds to check my pockets.

!Peeve: The bank clerks know me. Today I went in and asked them to put
it in savings and I did not have the number, but they knew me and took
care of it.

Peeve: Too much fun, too little time. Two parties on the 17th. Good grief.
It looks like I won't make it to Ren Fair after all. I have hardly even
been in the Bay Area on weekends at all lately with the trips to ABQ &
SD/Mexico.

!Peeve: Spending three weekends out of town and away from housecleaning.

Peeve: Housecleaning at 11PM on a Sunday night to catch up on the cat hair
deposits.

Peeve: I am still not on the damned mailing list. (Remember to CC me guys,
it looks like its a members-only club where if you never married the admin,
you can get in.)

Peeve: Water stains on the ceiling. I just painted the damned thing two
months ago and they seeped right through.


BootThang

-- 
E. Richards  fernwood!autodesk!booter or booter@Autodesk.COM

"A mere corroborative detail to add artistic verisimilitude to
 an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative."
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at (Alexander Vrchoticky)
Subject: Re: Hare Triggers
Organization: Technical University Vienna, Dept. for Realtime Systems, AUSTRIA
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 13:04:54 GMT

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:

>All right, this is an official announcement of the new Bunnyhugging section
>of the Peevetown Inn.  

<snort>

>[...] we open a section of the establishment in
>which they can engage in their foul practices (puffing on Marlboros or eating
>meals which have no FUCKING meat in them), without disturbing the 
>other patrons. 

fat chance. let me tell you, we're *there* to annoy you. all you can hope
for is that i throw my mashed carrots into your face, blow the
last draw of my cigarette into your nose and drop the butt into the
steak pan. all the other things i could think of are decidedly less pleasant.

we're peace-loving, but we've got moulines legumes, and we're gonna 
use them if necessary. you have been warned.

-alex

-- 
Alexander Vrchoticky             alex@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
TU Vienna, CS/Real-Time Systems  +43/1/58801-8168
From: russ@bbx.basis.com (Russ Kepler)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Colourful Money (Re: credit card peeve)
Keywords: Eat Me
Date: 13 Oct 92 16:54:22 GMT
Organization: BASIS International, Ltd., Albuquerque NM USA

In article <1992Oct13.064735.8289@usage.csd.unsw.OZ.AU> allane@earth.gas.unsw.OZ.AU writes:
>PS. What do the German marks look like? They MUST come in pretty colours...
>(which all real currencies do of course).

German marks are not all that colorful - for real color you have to go
to the Netherlands.  Florescent colors, different for each denomination.

-- 
Russ Kepler, Basis International Ltd. russ@bbx.basis.com  phone: 505-345-5232

                 Do not throw rocks at this signature
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Date: 16 Oct 92 21:09:17 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <mhart.719148671@blackjack> mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
>>Peeve: People who speculate, but never take action.  Mike, why doncha
>>just run a vote (forget the CFD): should Jenny G. be declared official
>>alt.peeves ghoddess?
[etc]
>
>If I'm not mistaken, I believe Jenny is already employed as the
>Official Frightener of Tourists and Proprietoress of the Coffee Shop.
>What with all the unemployment out there, it might be perhaps 
>less than fair if Jenny were to be Peevetown Goddess _and_
>OFT&PCS.
>
>Elaine?


There is no God in Peevetown. Besides, its a job you are born to,
not one you are hired as.

So, I must reject any and all applications to deityhood in this
imaginary community invented by a group of malcontents, perverts
and drunks. The highest-ranking person is Geoff, the mayor, and
that is as far as I will allow anyone to rise. (Innuendos not intended,
the only buns I have seen rise lately have been made of wheat flour.)

I hereby anoint Carol Osterbrook Postal Inspector based on her
previous flame and advise that she mail a Dobbs Head back to
her Scottish friend, along with a the poem by Angus Podgorny
"Can You Loan Me a Quid 'Til Tuesday" as well as a note advising
his bride its never too late to run like hell.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I would
 not be surprised. " -- Dorothy Parker
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donp@twg.com (Don Pette)
Subject: Re: Recipes for the New Depression
Organization: The Wollongong Group, Palo Alto, CA
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 00:12:27 GMT

In article <knfp3+-@lynx.unm.edu> jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann) writes:
>In article <5lfp3q-@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:
delete...delete


How 'bout this recipe, you don't need food -

1) Inset finger in nose

2) Move around until something hard felt

3) grab under fingernail

4) Eat

For different flavors, use different noses.

Don (going for Mr tasteless '92) Pette
From: mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Evil Author
Date: 8 Oct 92 11:59:45 GMT

In <1992Oct6.141142.3470@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:

>>2 or 3ish in the morning I realize that 
>>I am gonna be really tired when my alarm goes off at 5am, so I'd better 
>>read this next chapter quickly.

Isn't rationalization a wonderful thing?  I've had this same thought
many times.  Sorta like being out drinking, realizing that you've had
enough, and saying to yourself "whoa!  I'm really blotto!  Soons I
finish this one, I'm agonna stop!"  Pfft.  Yeah, right.

>_Red Storm Rising_ 

No doubt, one of his best books, especially for those of us who
love lots of descriptions of high-tech, multi-megabuck weapons systems
that kill and maim.

>Good book.  His later books haven't been as good in my opinion.

Peeve: Red Storm Rising - The Movie.  Rumor has it that they've (who
are they, anyway?) talked about doing RSR as a movie.  Problem is,
for it to be a decent flick, it'd have to be about 6 hours long, and
would probably cost $300M dollars.  But think of the body count!


Peeve: I've started The Sum of All Fears, but just can't seem to get
rolling on it.  Guess I'll take it back to the library and try again
later.


SubliminallyPlantedThoughtProvokingIdea:  PeeveConEast92 - The Sequel?

--
|   Michael G. Hart                   mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil    |
|--------------------------------------------------------------------|
|     You think _I_ speak for the government or the navy?  HAH!      |
| Aviation, computers, quality improvement, Northern Exposure, money |
From: dtrytten@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu (Deborah Trytten)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: (Im)personal stereos
Date: 14 Oct 92 21:37:08 GMT
Organization: Engineering Computer Network, University of Oklahoma, Norman, OK, USA

In article <ldls8iINNkup@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>Personal stereos, known generically in the Real World as "Walkmen," 
>regardless of brand, are in general a Good Idea.  But I encounter more
>and more people who defeat the purpose of this marvelous invention
>by cranking the volume up to a point that I'd assume would be painful
>to the user, and is certainly annoying and distracting to people nearby.

I recall my worst personal stereo nightmare.  As a graduate student, I
was asked to take a make-up test at the same time as a small group of
undergraduates.  One of these little twerps came in wearing a walkman.
It must have been at a mind numbing volume, because I could sing along
from across the room, that is if I hadn't been trying to take a test at the
same time.   I was writing, and trying to decide if I should say something
when the damn thing ran out of batteries.  I was overjoyed!   It was
dead!   About five seconds later, the kid pulls out another set of
fresh batteries, inserts them, and turns the volume up a bit.   
So I decided that enough was enough and asked him to turn it off.
He did so, after giving me an ugly look, and I continued on with my
test.  About five minutes later, he starts snapping a retractable pen.
So I told him to stop it.  And five minutes later he was tapping on
the table.  And I told him to stop it.  This kept on for the better part
of an hour.  I finally finished the test and left (and did quite well on
it, as I recall, particularly considering the circumstances).   

Where do these people come from that they can't stand to have one 
hour of relative quiet?   And, more to the point, how can we send them
back? 

Deborah Trytten
dtrytten@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Glasses peeve
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Distribution: alt.peeves
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 06:42:43 GMT

Well, K-Mart shoppers, you want to know what really torques my mighty jaw?
(Ahh, shaddup. I don't care, I'm gonna tell it anyway..)
  
      (..)
       **

It's having that little screw fall out of the frame joint on my $12
reading glasses! The hell of it is that I can't see well enough close up
to easily put the screw back in. Not without the glasses on.

Then after getting it back in the tiny hole and trying to use my mighty
thumbnail as a screwdriver bit, I finally have to break a razor blade to
make a tool to screw it in. Five minutes later, there's my micro screw
driver set in the desk drawer!

Hear this, o evil universe! I'm damn well going to see! You can't stop me
by pulling screws out of my glasses or making my screw drivers momentarily
invisible! 
       __
      (00)     There! Much better!
       ~~
L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Oh! There's the deuterium.. Now where did that plutonium get off to?