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Newsgroups: bit.listserv.relusr-l
Date:         Thu, 16 Apr 1992 14:24:00 EDT
From:         "David Shores (Roadman)" <SHORES@DRYCAS.BITNET>
Subject:      Call for descriptions of Nancy's funeral.

Hi folks,
   There were many of us who were unable to attend Nancy's funeral.  I am
requesting that any of you who _did_ go please post your description of the
funeral service for the rest of us who could not be there.  Hopefully from
several different descriptions we can all gain some sense of what it was
like.
   I'm including a log of Amy Grupenhoff's (Fish) description.  I've editted
out several comments that didn't pertain to the description.

================================================================================

Console spooling begun: 14 Apr 1992 - 14:08:05
 * You are now on Channel 525. 3 other users.
 * The topic is: In Memory of Nightfall, Jan 25, 1962 -
 > April 13, 1992..
 <PinkCaddie> Hello Fish
 Hi people...
 I just got back from Nancy's funeral....:-(
 I didn't go to the cemetary; I couldn't...
 <PinkCaddie> How are you, Fish?
 <PinkCaddie> How was it?
 <PinkCaddie> I'll bet it was beautiful.
I'm a bit teary still...trying to hold it together
'cause I'm in the computer room in my department with others
around...
The place was packed...
people were parking blocks and blocks away; the parking lot
was full...the chapel (? whatever the right name is) was
full of people....some had to stand...
 <PinkCaddie> I'll bet you are glad you went.
Yes, I am glad...I didn't have a chance to express my
condolences to the family. I wish I could have done that....
 <Sysprog> Fish: "synagogue"?
Sysprog: well, it wasn't exactly a synagogue...it was in
 the funeral home...but I gather it is strictly for the Orthodox....
Three rabbis spoke...
the first spoke at length about Nancy and all that she
 had accomplished; all that she had gone through...
talked about her children & her husband.....and, I am happy
 to report, about all the people she had touched through
 this network...
He spoke of her friends in Pennsylvania and Tennesee (that
 you, Valdis? close  enough...) and around the world....
Pink:  It was very moving...there were audible sobs...
 <Sysprog> Fish: Hmm.. I'm *almost* in Tenessee...
 <PinkCaddie> Fish: Did someone sing?
Pink:  No, it was an Orthodox Jewish ceremony; I gather they
don't do that...it was a little tough to follow because they
were speaking partially English, partially Yiddish (I think?)
Hebrew?  Heck I don't know...I'm Catholic.
 <Sysprog> Fish: It would be Hebrew.
Moreover, being the bonehead Catholic from the midwest that
I am, I forgot that men and women sit on separate sides....
and I asked some poor guy if the seat next to him was taken!
*grin*  What a goon!  He looked at me as if I had 15 heads and
said (after a LENGTHY pause) 'Aren't there any seats left on the
women's side?'  Boy was I embarrassed!!
I'll never make that mistake again.
 <PinkCaddie> Fish: (*laughs with you*) hell! I didn't know
 > that either
 <PinkCaddie> Fish: That's a riot.
Anyway....he also talked about a bunch of things indicating
how she was planning for the future that were really hard to
listen to...about her upcoming trip to Florida; leaving notes
for Danny about when the bills had to be paid, etc...
and told us that although it wasn't standard practice to tape
eulogies he had taken the liberty of recording these,
so that years from now, when Eric and Jesse are older, they can
listen to them and know what a wonderful mother they lost....
<tears>
The second rabbi was the one who had married Nancy and Danny...
he cried...
 <PinkCaddie> Is Danny Jewish also?
 <PinkCaddie> And how was he holding up?
 <PinkCaddie> Were the boys there?
 <PinkCaddie> (Sorry for all the questions)
Pink: To tell the truth I could barely see....I wouldn't know
Danny if I stepped on him, anyway...
I don't _think_ the boys were there, though...I could be wrong...
I sat way in the back.
 <PinkCaddie> Fish: Hmmm.
 <PinkCaddie> Keep going...tell me about the rest if the service
Okay....the second rabbi talked about how Danny and Nancy were
just building their life together; about how it hadn't been
quite ten years since he married them...about the fact that they
had just bought a house...
these rabbis really seemed to want to make people sob!
 <PinkCaddie> Fish: (*chuckles about the SOB comment*)
lots and lots of stuff about the babies...how much she had
wanted them and how she had suffered to have them....
and told a story about someone burying his 19 yr old son,
saying that he hadn't thought his son had accomplished his purpose
thought he hadn't achieved his purpose in life but that it must
have been so....tying that to Nancy fulfilling a purpose in her
life by  bearing children to carry on....(trying to make some
sense out of it all) and how it was such a shame that a beauty
such as  Nancy was, inside and out,
was being put in the ground...
Ah, I forgot....the first rabbi likened her to matzoh (sp?)...
that bread is full of air but matzoh is solid...
that Nancy was solid, accomplished, and real.
*sigh*  By the time the third rabbi spoke I think my memory
was filled to capacity....I was trying to remember everything
so I could share it with all of you...but I can't really remember
_specifically_ what the third person said...
 |Sign on| Sunset (William T. McSweeny WTM1@PSUVM) on Va_Tech
Hello Sunset *hugs*
 <PinkCaddie> Bill (*hug*)
 <Sunset> hello ppl.. i just spoke with nancy's mom via
 > phone.. she said
 <Sunset> that literally hundreds of ppl were at the funeral
 > service
 |Sign on| Narnia (Gina Gestautas NORTH@DRYCAS) on Va_Tech
 <PinkCaddie> Gina (*HUG*)
 <Narnia> Mac!!  *hugs*
 <Sunset> if ever there were a spirit deserving the kingdom
 > of heaven, it
 <Sunset> is nancy..
People, as I drove away from the funeral home (in tears and sobbing
like a baby, I might add...)
one street sign caught my eye...
just a couple blocks away from where the services were was Sunset Lane...
 <PinkCaddie> Yes. Yes it is Nancy.
 <Sunset> later ppl.. i have to go cry again..
 |Sign off| Sunset (William T. McSweeny WTM1@PSUVM)
 <Narnia> Gosh...  wish I could have been there.  *sigh*
Narnia:  I am very very glad I could be there, and in my heart
I was there representing all of you...so in a sense (however
metaphysical) you were there...
Console spooling ended: 14 Apr 1992 - 14:50:59

================================================================================

   Again, if you were able to be there, please share it with the rest of us.
For those of us who couldn't be there, this means a lot.

Thanks,

Dave/Roadman...
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