HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: charless@sco.com ("leftist)
Subject: Re: Drivers^H^H^H^Hoids from Hell
X-Mailer: SCO Portfolio 2.0
Date: Tue, 11 Aug 1992 09:26:24 +0000



dac@prolix.pub.uu.oz.au (Andrew Clayton) denounces:

>In article <1992Aug07.124511.527@sco.COM>, charles stross writes:

>> In article <1683BBC4D.M23231@mwvm.mitre.org>  and elsewhere,
>> M23231@mwvm.mitre.org drivels fatuously on about how evil and
>> sociopathic Geoff Miller is for grumbling about slow drivers.
>> 
>> Understand this. I am going to say it once, and once only. V E R Y 
>> S L O W L Y . Right? Now repeat after me:
>                ~~~~~
>Treachery!

We at leftist.revolution.hq agree.

This is evidence of the most sinister kind of counter- 
revolutionary tendency. Comrade Stross -- or should I say, that 
running-dog epigone of rightist evil -- has been under 
surveillance for some time. Evidence against him includes a 
tendency -- hitherto concealled -- to eat with a fork in his left 
hand and to make no less than _two_ "right" turns on his way 
to work each day.

He is most certainly politically incorrect, and will have to be 
terminated with extreme prejudice after a fair trial in absentia. 
As our heroic fighting cadres are currently otherwise occupied
struggling to promote left-handedness in Bosnia, we are considering 
hiring Claudio.terrorist.

---------------------------------------------------------------

WATCH  THIS  SPACE  FOR  FUTURE  REVOLUTIONARY  COMMUNIQUES

---------------------------------------------------------------

Left-handed emancipation is our destiny! 



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All glory to the forces of leftism! Sinister deviationism will be 
eliminated by the heroic cadres of the revolution!
 
leftist@sinister.revolution.hq
From: mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: PeeveFestEast92 - It's Official!
Date: 14 Aug 92 14:36:28 GMT
Distribution: na


We interrupt this peeve for an important announcement!

Saturday, August 22nd, 1992, will be the date of the long awaited,
sure-to-be-peeve-filled PeeveFestEast92.  All peevers are invited.

Since no one has really given me any preferred locations, vis a vis
restaurants or offerings of living space in which to hold the 
aforementioned affair, it will be at the TGI Friday's in 
Greenbelt Maryland, peeving to begin at the bar at 1800.  
Since I suspect that "1800" is in and of itself a peeve,
that means y'all can start bitchin' and peevin' at 6:00 PM.

I will endeavor to bribe the manager to reserve us a large enough,
somewhat secluded table, since they do not normally take reservations.
Because of this, please, Please, PLEASE, let me know, NLT
Wednesday, August 19th, if you will be coming, so I can let them
know how many we'll be.

If you are planning on attending, please send me an email with
your name and how many others will be with you.

Directions to TGI Friday's, Greenbelt, Maryland:

From the south - take I-95 north towards Washington; at the I95/I-495
junction, stay on I-95; continue to Kenilworth Avenue; take the
second Kenilworth Avenue exit (west); continue about 1/2 mile to the
next exit, for Rt. 193; stay in the middle lane of the three
left turn lanes; turn left on Rt. 193; at the next light, turn left;
Friday's will be on the right hand side.

From the North - Take I-95 south; at the I95/I-495 junction, take I-95
south; go 2 exits to Kenilworth Ave (there's only one exit), stay to the
right, and immediately exit; stay in the middle lane of the three
left turn lanes; turn left; at the next light, turn left; TGIF will
be on the right.

If you need hotel accomodations, there are several hotels in the
near vicinity, and bunches more within 15 minutes.

If you have any questions, email or call me at work at (301) 227-1428
between 0600 & 1430, M-F.


--
|   Michael G. Hart                   mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil    |
|--------------------------------------------------------------------|
|     You think _I_ speak for the government or the navy?  HAH!      |
| Aviation, computers, quality improvement, Northern Exposure, money |
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Why can't I work in Europe?
Date: 13 Aug 92 17:16:26 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <92225.19:10:48.093195.K42@vm.urz.uni-heidelberg.de>
K42@vm.urz.uni-heidelberg.de (Monika Best) writes:
>01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>>EmploymentPeeve: It seems almost impossible for a non European to get a job
>>in Europe. I have applied to about a dozen firms in Switzerland and Austria,
>>and I received almost identical letters in return. To paraphrase:
>>
>[...stuff deleted]
>>
>>At least the last batch came in English, and most of them are signed by either
>>a president or a vice president. My rejection letters seem to be improving
>>in calibre. BTW does anyone here read German?
>
>Sure. Don't you?
>
>Believe it or not, a lot of people in Austria and Switzerland even
>_speak_ German! <Gasp!> Has it ever occured to you that your rejection
>letters might have something to do with that fact?

Hmmm, I wonder if maybe sybok actually received job offers; maybe they
send offers to Americans IN German, so that you won't take the job unless
you're capable of reading the letter?!

ObGermanPhrase:  Du haBt (?) schonne augen, meine freundin.

ObPeeve:  Trying to conjugate German sentences, 10 years after the class
ended.
From: pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Why can't I work in Europe?
Date: 12 Aug 92 12:30:00 GMT
Reply-To: pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg)
Organization: Laboratory for the Foundations of Computer Science, Edinburgh U

In article <24771@castle.ed.ac.uk> egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson) writes:
>In article <1992Aug11.174450.6919@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>=>EmploymentPeeve: It seems almost impossible for a non European to get a job 
>=>in Europe. I have applied to about a dozen firms in Switzerland and Austria,
>=>and I received almost identical letters in return. To paraphrase:
>=>
>=>"Gee, you have really good qualifications, and we'd love to hire to for
>=>this job opening we have, that would probably bring to bliss for years to
>=>come, but you don't have a work permit, and it's about as easy to get a
>=>work permit as it is to have an orgy in a convent. Sorry"
>=>
>=>I think this is somehow unfair.

Well, this is undoubtedly an improvement. The above is indeed a
genuine peeve, more or less worth reading. A few more like this and
I am sure Mike will become accepted by our community.

back to JHenderson:
>
>It's not unfair, we just don't like importing pollution in (semi)human form.

There's another problem. Recall that Mike has already revealed that he
is "up to his eyeballs in debt" (or some similar phrase) as a result
of his fratboy ways. Hence if he came to Europe, he would presumably
be obliged to send most of his earnings back to Canada, thus reducing
our money supply. This is understandably unpopular with governments.
Right now I think the only immigrants that the govt. would actually
welcome are those who promise that the first thing they'll do is buy a
house.

Paul.


Voltaire to Rousseau, on reading Rousseau's "Ode a la Poste'rite'":
"Mon ami, voila une lettre qui ne sera jamais recue a son addresse"
From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: RADIO SHACK FASCISM
Date: 19 Aug 92 15:05:35 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

(Reid E. Whitlock) writes:
>"NAME": Joseph Bloh
>"ADDRESS" 123 First Street, Charlottesville 12345
>
>what are you trying to prove --- you knoe that's not a Charlottesville zip 
>code! Look I'm with you on this one, but I have to follow company policy. I 
>have to cancel this sale.

Just for future reference, Joe, 12345 is the zip code in Schenectady,
New York.

Since they're insistant, go in and collect a metric shitload of little
bits off their odd-electronic-parts racks.  I mean a hundred or so.
When he refuses to handle your cash sale without name and address,
leave all the stuff on the counter and exit.

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"If you add a teaspoon of wine to a barrel of sewage, you get sewage.
If you add a teaspoon of sewage to a barrel of wine, you get sewage.
This, my son, is entropy."
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Mechanics and their ilk
Date: 20 Aug 92 17:13:10 GMT
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article 25194@umbc3.umbc.edu, potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
> according to ronnie, communism is dead.

According to most observers, Ronnie is too.

---
Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
        The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
          It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
From: scott@festival.ed.ac.uk (Scott Larnach)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: 18th century peeves
Date: 18 Aug 92 17:49:25 GMT

For historical, literary, and peevish interest. Excerpted from
_Humphry Clinker_  by Tobias Smollett, published 1771.

    [ Dear Doctor ... ] If I did not know that the exercise of your
  profession has habitiated you to the hearing of complaints, I should
  make a conscience of troubling you with my correspondence, which may
  be truly called _the lamentations of Matthew Bramble_. Yet I cannot
  help thinking I have some right to discharge the overflowings of my
  spleen upon you, whose province it is to remove those disorders that
  occasioned it; and let me tell you, it is no small alleviation of my
  grievances, that I have a sensible friend, to whom I can communicate
  my crusty humours, which, by retention, would grow intolerably
  acrimonious.

    ... The same artist who planned the Circus, has likewise projected
  a Crescent; when that is finished, we shall probably have a Star;
  and those who are living thirty years hence, may, perhaps, see all
  the signs of the Zodiac exhibited in architecture at Bath ... the
  rage of building has laid hold on such a number of adventurers, that
  one sees new houses starting up in every out-let and every corner of
  Bath; contrived without judgement, executed without solidity, and
  stuck together with so little regard to plan and propriety ... They
  look like the wreck of streets and squares disjointed by an
  earthquake, which hath broken the ground into a variety of holes and
  hillocks; or as if some Gothic devil had stuffed them altogether in
  a bag, and left them to stand higgledy piggledy, just as chance
  directed. What sort of a monster Bath will become in a few years ...

    Thus the number of people, and the number of houses continue to
  increase; and this will ever be the case, till the streams that
  swell this irresistable torrent of folly and extravagance, shall
  either be exhausted, or turned into other channels by incidents and
  events I do not pretend to forsee. This, I own, is a subject on
  which I cannot write with any degree of patience; for the mob is a
  monster I could never abide, either in its head, tail, midriff, or
  members; I detest the whole of it, as a mass of ignorance,
  presumption, malice, and brutality; and, in this term of
  reprobation, I include, without respect of rank, station, or
  quality, all those of both sexes, who affect its manners, and court
  its society.

If only the entire book were like this, it would be a veritable mine
of peeves. Sadly, the other three characters who write the letters
that make up the book are usually happy with their lot.

S
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Re: Political Peeves
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 92 22:16:19 GMT
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

In article <l94o8hINN6od@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>, banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
|> (Dan Sorenson) writes:
|> >	This reminds me -- I heard part of Reagan's speech, and I laughed
|> >my ass off.  In reference to the "new" democratic party claiming they
|> >were moderates, Reagan said, "And they call *me* an actor!"  I had to
|> >clean coffee off my computer I laughed so hard.
|> 
|> Actually, I liked his line concerning Clinton being a Jeffersonian:
|> "I *knew* Thomas Jefferson, and he [Clinton] is no Thomas Jefferson."
|> 
|> Somewhere in this country is a speech writer that actually earned his
|> pay.

According to today's paper, some of the journalists received some black-
market copies of the speeches, and Mr. Reagan's "Jefferson" comments were
off the cuff.

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|Despite decades of market research, markets       |
|proliferate and there's no cure in sight.         |
+--------------------------------------------------+
From: dac@prolix.pub.uu.oz.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: The declining standards of cinema swordsmanship
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 92 13:06:50 GMT
Reply-To: munnari!labtam!eyrie!prolix!dac
FollowUp-To: alt.peeves
 <92Aug14.015808.25980@acs.ucalgary.ca>
Keywords: 
Organization: More like Dis~, really.

In article <92Aug14.015808.25980@acs.ucalgary.ca>, Charles Parr writes:

> In article <1992Aug11.120435.1542@sco.COM> charless@sco.COM (charles stross) writes:
> >
> >prostration, just like the NBC suits used during Desert Storm -- nobody 
> >could stand more than a couple of hours in a hermetically sealed 
> >rubber or padded iron suit on anything but a temperate day.
> 
>     Yep, the Duke of Suffolk (or was it York?) croaked this
>     way at Agincourt. Not a mark on him, just keeled over in the
>     press and quietly expired.

Hence the term 'suffolkation'.

Peeve: bad puns.

Dac
--
:-)^H^H^H
munnari!labtam!eyrie!prolix!dac      David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
  prolix!dac%eyrie@labtam.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
        dac@prolix.pub.uu.oz.au      I post .
prolix!dac@sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au            . . I am.             +61 6 290 2215
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: microwaving a grape..it DOES spark!
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 92 20:38:25 GMT

In article <adwright.714321019@vincent1.iastate.edu> adwright@iastate.edu ()
writes:
>Another somewhat unrelated but fun trick is to take a fly and drown it in water for a couple of hours. The fly can be blotted dry and covered with salt and intime will be "brought back to life" although he loses his ability to fly. It
>works most of the time.

Hmm, I wonder if this works for cats also...

    don
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Blueberry pie
Date: 17 Aug 92 18:35:57 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <1992Aug14.201132.9008@cs.yale.edu> elliott-bruce@CS.YALE.EDU (Alex Elliott) writes:
>The other day I saw some really delicious looking, plump, locally grown
>blueberries and decided that I absolutely had to make blueberry pie.
>
>The peeve?  I didn't put enough corn starch in the filling.  When I
>cut the first piece, the filling oozed out of the rest of the pie in an
>effort to heal its wound, looking much like a purple slime-like 
>extraterrestrial organism from a B grade science fiction movie.


I had the opposite problem last week. I got my hands on some lovely
apples and wound up with dried-apple and tasty-but-stupid-looking
pie crust.

Peeve: Dried apple pie.

!Peeve: Ice cream solves this problem.

>Peeve number two:  I got a little bit of blueberry pie filling on my
>white shorts.  Now they are white shorts with a small purple blotch on
>the left leg.


Take a fistful of berries and drop them all over the shorts.
Tie-dye is very fashionable this year, at least in SF,CA.


ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't help it, I was born sneering."
			-Pooh Bah
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Drivers From Hell
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 12 Aug 1992 21:26:05 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <1992Aug12.182343.24863@twg.com> donp@twg.com (Don Pette) writes:

>You must elaborate, enunciate, tickle our collective fancies with
>your style and wit. Expound as you would if you were writing a 
>thesis and were four pages short. Even lie, but don't give us dribble,
>'cause there's people here who live to masicate on the tender gluteus 
>of newcomers like you. 


That's right!  We don't want to be teased with unfulfilled expectations,
we want to see the envelope expanded!  I don't want to read insipid,
colorless whimpering -- I want to read something that will make me sit
up and take notice!  Stuff that will reach out and grab me by the
shirt and give me a good shaking!

I also like to be chortled under the testicles.



Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: padutton@wpi.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton)
Subject: Champagne, wine, and beer (was: Re: PRO-smoker's peeves)
Keywords: newbies, champagne, crystal, fonts
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 18:19:02 GMT

In article <41412@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg) writes:
>
>ObPeeve: Champagne. In particular, the snob appeal with which it is
>surrounded. Now I believe that in the You Essay, the word "champagne"
>is frequently used to refer to any sparkling wine, and that is a usage
>that I heartily approve of. Over here however, it must have two
>additional characteristics. (1) It must be produced in the Champagne
>region of France. (2) It must be horrendously overpriced. The cheapest
>is around ten pounds a bottle. The reason why anyone even contemplates
>paying this much for it is not because that is its intrinsic value,
>but because some marketing guru has managed to convince the public
>that it is obligatory for celebrations.


Re number 2, above: EVERYTHING in the UK is horribly overpriced.

Antipeeve: I can't tell good champagne from bad champagne, so it doesn't
really bother me to get the $2.99 (that's about a pound and a half)
bottles of Andre if I need champagne. Ditto for wine. Besides, the
worst champagne is still better than the best beer.

ObOxymoron: Good beer

Peeve: The fact that at most parties, the only alcoholic beverage
	served is beer. 

Peeve: Not liking beer is often seen as a liability. 

I prefer to think that I haven't been brainwashed by beer commercials.

Peter!
From: egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk (JHenderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Brookside
Date: 19 Aug 92 13:34:37 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <9208181038.AA09181@merlin.comlab.ox.ac.uk> Gordon.Riddell@prg.oxford.ac.uk writes:
=>
=>Far be it from me to correct you again but it was quite clearly stated before
=>Margaret attended her papist shrine with the randy Father Derek that she was
=>a good and wholesome Protestant.

I have been informed by a source I trust, namely my little sister, that
Margaret is indeed a Protestant. Happy now?

=>So if we meet behind the bike-sheds be sure and wear your specs or you 
=>obviously won't see me without them.

I'll have to give you a quick whipping to make it home for Neighbours.


-- 
==================================================================
-Jeremy Henderson            |  Une souris verte
 egpv29@castle.ed.ac.uk	     |  Qui courrait dans l'herbe
==================================================================
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Brush with Mediocrity
Keywords: Loser
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 92 15:51:01 GMT

In <1992Aug11.210123.23065@talon.ucs.orst.edu> tim@comphy.physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford) writes:

[Slick Willy comes 'round...]

>ObPeeve: It was not as much like "Dead Zone" as I had hoped.  However,
>when my hand touched his, my vision became blurry, the crowd noise 
>faded away, my mind began to spin, and a vision came to me.  It was an
>image of Bill Clinton, later that night.  He was in his hotel room,
>sitting alone, and he had dry, chapped, red hands.  It was a chilling 
>interlude for me.

Were his pants zipped?

>Although, outside the confines of this building, I've been a life long
>drinker of Coca-Cola, I may have to return to the soda of my grandfather,
>Pepsi.  On the heels of an ad defaming the images of James Cagney and

Your grandfather had an odd name.  Wouldn't you agree, peevers?

>Louis Armstrong, the people at Diet Coke have repeated their sin and 
>compounded it.  They have dug up the corpses of Groucho Marx and (gasp!)
>Cary Grant for spiritual mutilation.  I am revulsed.

This afternoon, when I walk across the street to Coca Cola world head-
quarters, I'll stop by Big Boss Bob's (Goizueta) office and tell him.
For so long now he has been asking me "So, Bill, my man.  What does
fellow peever Tim Mefford think of our ad campaign?"  For so long I
have had to tell him "I don't know Bob.  More JD and Pepsi?"  I didn't
want to come right out and ask Tim, knowing that the answer might have
been forced.

Thank God (the Japanese emperor-god in this case) I finally have an
answer.

>I have previously been annoyed at the omnipotence of sorority types sucking
>like hamsters or hummingbirds at the everpresent soda squirt bottle.  I
>was at a complete loss to understand their "pop"ularity, so to speak.
>Then I considered their utility to their devotees when inverted and filled
>with warm fluid.  It all became clear.  Personally, I would not continue to
>use them for soda, but to each his or her own.

Have you been the recipient of a warm enema from a buxom, attractive nurse?
If not, don't decry that of which you have not partaken.

>ObBob: Rafelson

I already mentioned my ObBob.  And what a Bob he is!
--
"Among free peoples, the open exchange of ideas
ultimately is our greatest security." - President Ronald Reagan
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Why can't I work in Europe?
Date: 15 Aug 92 13:35:33 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <92225.19:10:48.093195.K42@vm.urz.uni-heidelberg.de>, K42@vm.urz.uni-heidelberg.de (Monika Best) writes:
> In article <1992Aug11.174450.6919@ac.dal.ca>
> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
> 
>>
>>At least the last batch came in English, and most of them are signed by either
>>a president or a vice president. My rejection letters seem to be improving
>>in calibre. BTW does anyone here read German?
> 
>Sure. Don't you?

Mais, non, Madam. Je parle seulment les deux langues officieles de mon pays.
Je m'excuse.

Translation: no, Ma'am. I only speak the two official languages of my country.
Excuse me.

I'm just making a point, although I'm going to get flamed for it. Let's face 
it, though, you people would flame me for my looks if you could.
> 
> Believe it or not, a lot of people in Austria and Switzerland even
> _speak_ German! <Gasp!> Has it ever occured to you that your rejection
> letters might have something to do with that fact?
> 

Believe me, I have. I was assured that English and Frence would give me at least
a chance, though.

Mike