HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: eshafer@starbase.trincoll.edu (Eric Shafer '93)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Organization: Trinity College, Hartford, CT.
Distribution: world
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 01:54:27 GMT

In article <1992Apr7.005929.11543@vax5.cit.cornell.edu> rnjx@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
>The question is this.  Is it ever morally and/or ethically O.K. to actively
>try to woo one member of an existing relationship from that relationship so
>that you may start one with her/him?  Under what circumstances?  How about
>pursuing someone who's engaged?  Where do you all draw the line?  If it isn't
>O.K., would you still do it anyway?

	I think I'll be going against popular opinion, but, two things:

1) People do not leave relationships without reason.  In short, one
does not lure another away unless the other is looking to leave.

2) I also question if ethics is a personal choice.  Yes, times are complicated,
but that does not mean that we can all make our own personal choices about 
life.


Xref: sparky alt.romance:6920 soc.singles:10934 soc.couples:2039
From: hevern@cac.washington.edu (M. Hevern)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Date: 10 Apr 92 19:04:37 GMT
Article-I.D.: u.1992Apr10.190437.23097
Distribution: usa
Organization: U.W. Information Systems

In article <1992Apr10.062723.24391@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
> If someone is attempting to woo a woman whom I'm involved with, it's her
> responsibility to decide whether or not to try to get the third party to
> 'cool it.'  If she has decided she wants the third party to cut it out
> and asks me to have words with that third party, only then is it appropriate
> for me to interfere--otherwise, I can only express my feelings and wishes
> about the matter to her, which may include whether or not I would wish to
> continue our relationship if the situation progresses further.

I agree with this line of reasoning. It's so mature, sensible, and fair. My (unspecified diefied entity)! The rehtoric is in decline! What ever will the readership do with out the more flamable posts \:.

-- 	MH
       *--------------------------------*------------------------------*
       | Michael Hevern			| Voice: (206) 685-3229        |
       | University Of Washington	| * "I can't dance...          |
       | Information Systems		|    I can't talk...           |
       | 4545 15th Ave. NE		|    The only funny thing about|
       | Seattle, WA 98105		|    me is the way I walk."    |
       | Mail Stop: JE-41               |       -- Genesis             |
       *--------------------------------*------------------------------*
	Disclaimer: If I said it I probably meant it.  My employer isn't
		responsible for my opinions.
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Do You Remember - early '60s edition
Date: 15 Apr 92 20:17:46 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: AT&T

In article <12445@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>>what about spider bikes with sissy bars and banana seats ?
>>
>I had the neatest bike back then.  It had a four foot sissy bar and butterfly
>handlebars with purple handlebar tape.  The banana seat was mettalic purple
>and was connected to the sissy bar with springs.  The forks were extended 
>about 9". What a bike. 
>
>-- 
>+=============================================================================+
>| John Fereira                Al Bundy for President          

So that's where you went bad. You little trouble maker. I'll bet you
had a flag on your jean jacket, didn't you?
P.S. I'll get your little dog too.
 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: hoff@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Wildfire)
Subject: Re: Ed and Teresa (Carp ????)
Keywords: Let's mind our own business
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 21:43:33 GMT

aatresa@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline) writes:

>In article <15APR199212081014@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov>, afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes...

>Thanks, buddy.  I *really* appreciate it.  But I thought I told you not to 
>be nice to me today??!

>By the way, that abusive mail might be why romance is dead on this planet.  
>I don't think there was anything offensive or objectionable in the recent 
>by-play between several of us, but some one decided to take something that 
>was fun and playful and try to make it ugly.  No wonder we don't feel like 
>trying anymore.

>-- Teresa

In situations like these, I always remember that famous line by my mom.  
If they're making fun of you, being mean, etc, they're probably just jealous!!
After all, you're having a good time getting to know someone, and they're 
just sitting there reading about it.  Maybe if people like him got a life, 
they would find happiness, too.  Until then, just ignore 'em.  What are they
to you anyway?  If he doesn't want to read it, he can put it in his 
kill file anyway......
			-Wildfire-

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: aatresa@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline)
Subject: Re: It's Whine Time Again...
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Yeah, *right* !
Date:  8 Apr 1992 07:59 EST  

In article <ku4b6cINN5gf@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>, erc@pogo.Corp.Sun.COM (Ed Carp) writes...
> 
>No, but I think Ozzy Osborne might have a pretty good shot at it.. :)
>--
>Ed Carp                                      415/336-0797 (work)

Well....welcome back, Ed!  I missed you!  :)

-- Teresa

		Life -- just for the FUN of it!!!!
From: rick@rick.cs.man.ac.uk (Rick Dipper)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: LOVE sucks. No question about it.
Date: 9 Apr 92 12:51:54 GMT
Reply-To: rick@uk.ac.man.cs
Organization: University of Manchester, Dept. Computer Science

In article <1992Apr3.003812.54152@cc.usu.edu>, slsg6@cc.usu.edu writes:
|> OK so LOVE sucks...
|> NO-LOVE sucks even more...

A great musical talent sang ...

"Better to have lost in love than never to have loved at all"

I think you should listen to it.
-- 
RICK DIPPER, Unix Systems Administrator                       rick@uk.ac.man.cs
Department of Computer Science, University of Manchester           061-275-5725
.............................Meemberrr the of Fumblee Ingers Culb..............
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
From: prabal@pons.cis.ohio-state.edu (Prabal Acharyya)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Organization: The Ohio State University, Department of Computer and Information Science
Distribution: world,soc
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 06:11:46 GMT

In article <65041@apple.Apple.COM> stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones) writes:
>In article <1992Apr7.005929.11543@vax5.cit.cornell.edu> rnjx@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
>>The question is this.  Is it ever morally and/or ethically O.K. to actively
>>try to woo one member of an existing relationship from that relationship so
>>that you may start one with her/him?  Under what circumstances?  How about
>>pursuing someone who's engaged?  Where do you all draw the line?  If it isn't
>>O.K., would you still do it anyway?
>>

I think it is nothing wrong in pursuing someone who is already in a
relationship.  Yes, ofcourse it depends on many factors.  I would do
anything only after I know that *other* person well enough.  I come
from a culture where marriages are thought sacred and are assumed to
last forever.  I used to look into a SO-thing in a sactimonious way.
Whenever anybody mentioned to me that they are "seeing somebody" or
let me know about they are in a relationship, I stopped pursuing them.
But that idea chaged over the course of time, when I found out that
the same perosn had broken up and seeing somebody else.  I could have
been the one :-( I knew this person for a long time and found that I
overlooked many clues that she might have been interested in me.


>competition. Maybe I wouldn't trust someone who'd leave their SO for
>someone else (they might do the same to me, right?). Also, I have a

When you trust somebody (especially a SO), you are opening to a
possibility of getting hurt, when they leave.  Even if you start
seeing somebody who is *not* in a relationship they might leave you
anyway.  Trust is something which is like taking risk, and I wouldn't
mind taking risk trying to pursue somebody whom I think would be a
nice person to in relationship with.

So, the answer lies in your morality, and courage :-).  If you are
perfectly happy with someone, even knowing that there is somebody
(your SO's ex-SO) with a dagger waiting for ... :-) its OK.

Prabal.


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Subject: For a new twist....
Reply-To: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
	
	Is it better to be good friends, acquaintances, or strangers
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 92 03:00:54 GMT

when you first start dating?
					Tom
-- 
"I know I'm going nowhere,			Tom Davidson, CWRU '95
"and anywhere's a better place to be."		IRCnick: Cupid	
		--Harry Chapin			MUSHnick: Nicodemus
From: bicker@cbnewsi.cb.att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I dunno....
Date: 8 Apr 92 16:32:36 GMT
Reply-To: Brian.C.Kohn@att.com (The Resource, Poet-Magician of Quality)
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: The Internet

In article <1992Apr8.022354.15655@usenet.ins.cwru.edu> ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson) writes:
>	Seems to me we could all be out with dates now and a real romance.

Hmm...if my math is right you wrote this at 10:25pm Tuesday night.
That's about my bed time on a work night, but if you meant that comment
in general, then I respond, "some of us are..." :>


-- 
Brian Charles Kohn             AT&T Bell Laboratories Quality Process Center
ISO Certified Lead Assessor    E-MAIL: att!hoqax!bicker  (bicker@hoqax.ATT.COM)
    'Hope, not fear, is the most positive advocate of action.' - S.R. Lawhead
                   Stamp Out "SO": "RP" = "Romantic Partner"
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Subject: I dunno....
Reply-To: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
	
	Seems to me we could all be out with dates now and a real romance.
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 92 02:23:54 GMT

What're we doing wrong?
	It's like the blind leading the blind.
	
				*ducking*
				(Forgive me),
				    Tom
-- 
"I know I'm going nowhere,			Tom Davidson, CWRU '95
"and anywhere's a better place to be."		IRCnick: Cupid	
		--Harry Chapin			MUSHnick: Nicodemus
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: hoff@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Wildfire)
Subject: Re: Is this a common thing?
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 03:08:42 GMT

kochmar@sei.cmu.edu (John Kochmar) writes:


>In article <92104.092434RJD118@psuvm.psu.edu>, RJD118@psuvm.psu.edu writes:
>|> She was afraid that, IF she got pregnant, I would help out financially,
>|> whatever she decided to do, but the relationship would basically be over.
>|> She says that most of the guys she knows feel this way.

>Sure, a lot of relationships break up this way.  It's usually a case of
>"I want to date you, and of course I want to sleep with you, but I'm
>not ready for the marriage & children deal, so if you get pregnant,
>I'll pay for the abortion (maybe), but the relationship is over."
>chocolate john

It doesn't always end, but there are other negative side affects.  I know
of one situation where the guy got the girl pregnant, and they decided
an abortion would be best.  She wanted to kind of keep it quiet, but he
was proud of having "been there" for her, and actually told all of their
friends, and even his best friends parents!  Now, IMHO, this was a 
private thing, and not something to brag about.  ("I'm such a stud,
I got my girlfriend pregnant and actually didn't leave her!")  Needless
to say, she was very hurt when she found out, and basically left him.
All of the friends he told, which were initially his, stuck by HER instead...
I guess they thought it was kinda low, too.
			-Wildfire-

 And the seeds of love were sown   <>                   -Wildfire-
 And nurtured with desire          <>             hoff@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu
 And when they started to grow     <>           lmh44500@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu
 They grew like WILDFIRE!          <> Disclaimer:  Who ME?!?!?! (innocent look)
Organization: HAM - Hackers Against MUDs
X-Subliminal-Message: IBM/370 assembler is your friend.
Date: Thursday, 9 Apr 1992 21:03:59 EDT
From: LEANNE CLARK <LEC104@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: JAMIE

JAMIE are you out there????  I love you.
                                     -Leanne
From: grx0262@uoft02.utoledo.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: yoohoo hi
Date: 7 Apr 92 00:14:07 EST
Organization: University of Toledo, Computer Services

yoohoo? hi?
i am sorry?
are you?
???

Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
From: hjanssen@cbnewse.cb.att.com (hank janssen)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: world,soc
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 14:41:59 GMT

From article <1992Apr7.005929.11543@vax5.cit.cornell.edu>, by rnjx@vax5.cit.cornell.edu:
> I put aside my usual role of nitpicker and general pain-in-the-ass to
> solicit the opinion of anyone interested enough to reply.  Email is fine, or
> a regular net-posting, as I think this topic bears enough of an ethical 
> character to be germane to most readers' lives. 
> 
> The question is this.  Is it ever morally and/or ethically O.K. to actively
> try to woo one member of an existing relationship from that relationship so
> that you may start one with her/him?  Under what circumstances?  How about
> pursuing someone who's engaged?  Where do you all draw the line?  If it isn't
> O.K., would you still do it anyway?

NO, how ever you look at it it is morrally incorrect.
And if anybody is warped enough  to  do  it,  he  or  she  should  not
complain if it is done back to him or her.

> 
> I wouldn't say that I'm trying to get advice, because my mind is made up on 
> this issue already.  Yes, this does bear directly on my own life, sadly.  One
> of my undergraduate roommates had a motto:  "Boyfriends are a minor
> inconvenience."  I wish to God I could believe (reconcile myself to) that.
> 
> I thank you from the depths of my heart for any forthcoming replies.
> 
> Jeff
> -- 

Why would you want to reconcile yourself to that.
What do you want to be, a lemming.   :-)

A well, who am i anyway, couldn't pass this one up.....

-- 
---------------------------------------------------+-------------------
                  Hank Janssen  (CPU)              | REMEMBER: 
                  att!ihlpb!hjanssen               | It is better 
			                           |      to burn out,
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles,soc.couples
From: sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 16:58:29 GMT

In article <1992Apr12.063451.9244@ultra.com> stcroix@ultra.com (Bill St. Croix) writes:
>In article <1992Apr9.173110.24380@cbfsb.cb.att.com> sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein) writes:


>An analogy (Steve, you'll like this one...:+)):
>
>Your at work...and you have an interest in a co-workers job (more money, better
>benefits).  You see the co-worker do something less than ethical (stealing
>or whatever) so you go to your boss and tell him.  The guy gets fired and you
>get his job.  Whose fault is it that the guy lost his job?? 
>
>I say...it is MAINLY his fault for doing something so stupid.  But it is also
>your fault because you went and told on him for your personal gain.  You 
>could have gone to him and told him you saw what he was doing and that you
>would tell if he didn't put it back.  The reason that I used stealing is
>because it is generally a *morals* issue.  Many people look the other way 
>when they see something like that happen, many don't.
>
>It may not be a *perfect* analogy (don't worry, Steve will pick it apart), but
>analogies are to represent something with a clear, related example.
>
You're right, this is a bad analogy.  I am not going out of my way
to hinder the already existing relationship by running to the girl
and pointing out all of the bad things her SO is or has done.  I
would have simply expressed an interest in knowing her better.  I see
a BIG difference here.

>>But seriously, if my relationship sucked (and if it did, it would be
>>partially my fault) and she were tempted by the kindness and
>>compassion of another,
>>NO, I wouldn't be happy....but I should have thought about her needs
>>before ****** I ****** (and I can't emphasise the word "I" enough)
>>drove her away.  It's not that the guy took or stole her from me, it's
>>that "I" drove her away.  Understand????
>
>Oh...so you marry a virgin and you are the only one she has ever slept
>with.  Another guy comes along and she sleeps with him. She has a wonderful
>time and "never thought that sex could feel so wonderful" and leaves you.
>That is your fault for driving her away??  No, you'll say it was her fault
>for sleeping with him.  Yes, it is her fault and his too for sleeping with
>him.  



You lost me on this one.  If I was dating someone who slept with 
someone else just for the hell of it, I would end the relationship,
especially with what's out there today.  But it's still not the other
guys fault that she is promiscuous.  

>It takes two to tango!
Exactly, and if one of the two say "NO".....the dance is over before
it even started.
>
>
			Steve
>				
>	Bill
>
From: 01ksdavis@bsu-ucs.uucp
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: a question
Date: 17 Apr 92 03:17:32 GMT

In article <1992Apr12.194459.21493@corax.udac.uu.se>, eva@bill.astro.uu.se (Eva rndahl) writes:
> OK. I'm new to the net, and I'm also not born to the english language. 
> There's one thing that's been bugging me, and I hope someone will help me out.
	No problem.  Tried emailing you directly, but it didn't work. 
> WHAT DOES "SO" MEAN?????
	SO kind of threw me, and then I recognized it in spite of it's lack of
periods (it's an abbreviation for "Significant Other")
> I've been trying to crack that one for days now. Please don't laugh,
> just tell me!
	Not laughing at all, because I don't know Swedish.  Although I can sort
of understand German, I don't believe my grade in this course will match up to
my ability.
> 
> 			-Eva
	Glad to be of service to you, and welcome to the net!

			Kyle
From: erc@pogo.Corp.Sun.COM (Ed Carp)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: And Now for Something Apartly Similar...(kiss!)
Keywords: READ,KILL,READ,WALK THE DOG,READ,GRIT THY TEETH,READ...
Date: 10 Apr 92 23:22:42 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: pogo.corp.sun.com

In article <10APR199208054266@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov> aatresa@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline) writes:
>In article <1992Apr9.213516.8093@metter.fmpmis.metter.com>, virgo@metter.fmpmis.metter.com (Paul "Axel" Virgo) writes...

>>Teresa will kick me in my duff,
 
>Nah, I wouldn't do a thing like that...I'm a lady.
 

That's right ... and poison is a lady's weapon...

Just thought you ought to know :)
--
Ed Carp                                      415/336-0797 (work)

++ UNIX  SysAdmin, Systems  Programming  Services,  Utilities ++
++ and Programmer Productivity Tools                          ++
From: aatresa@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: RE: Normalcy...Why not me?
Date: 6 Apr 92 13:10:00 GMT
Article-I.D.: lims01.6APR199208104451
Organization: Yeah, *right* !
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <3APR92.18494332@vax.clarku.edu>, dzisson@vax.clarku.edu writes...
>Why you should be the appropriate question.  I am not a normal guy either yet I
>seem to enjoy being this weird or strange or whatever.  And most of my
>girlfriends enjoyed the brief example of sponsinaity and crazyness that I
>exhume but they usually tire of it and leave me to my short romances that 
 ^^^^^^
Was your craziness dead?  And did you get a court order?  :)

>don't amount to anything.  As long as you are yourself be happy.  And let 
>other people be happy with who you are!  If you really want to chang
>though...do it for the bestdon't change to be like some one else, change to 
>be happier. Understand?


-- Teresa

		Life -- just for the FUN of it!!!!
From: martin@parst1.uucp (Martin Walker)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Whether?
Date: 7 Apr 92 15:52:15 GMT
Organization: Paradigm Systems Technology

In <1992Mar24.142601.24195@news2.cis.umn.edu> esper@cs35b.cs.umn.edu (Dave Sherohman) writes:
>Yes, love exists.  If you want personal experience, I've found it, perhaps
>twice in my life.  If you want sociological research, it has been found to
>exist in many forms - some researchers say 6, others say 8, still others have
>found differing numbers of forms.  (Oh, in my personal experience bit, I
>meant romantic love (not to be confused with infatuation!), while the research
>section also included such forms as infatuation, friendship, etc.)  

Does anyone actually have any of these studies in electronic form? If so
how about posting - it would make very interesting reading and might just 
provide some of us with a little insight into what makes us tick - God knows,
I could do with some such revelations....

-- 
Martin Walker               |  "One way to stop a runaway horse
Paradigm Systems Technology |   is to bet on him"
Pretoria, South Africa      | UUCP : martin@parst1.UUCP                 
++27-12-342-2835            | BANG : ..!ddsw1!olsa99!tabbs!parst1!martin
From: diana@wetware.com (CatWoman )
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Ed and Teresa  (Carp ????)
Date: 16 Apr 92 17:30:53 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare MouseCatcher

afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes:

] dan@mvaxcs1.cse.nau.edu (Dan McMichael) writes...
] >ppinkard@willamette.edu (Patrice Pinkard):
] >> I think we should let Ed & Teresa work it out between the two of them.  What
] >> do you think?  It doesn't REALLY involve anyone other than E & T. 
] > 
] >I'd say all of this belongs in E-mail.
] > 
] 
] *Personally*, I'm having a great time with this one, and I find it more fun 
] than the Sanctity of Relationship thread which is bordering on `Neurotic 
] Possessiveness' these days. *That* puppy went into my kill file days ago 
] along with the `Romance=Hitler' thread, and, if this one bugs you, why 
] don't you just do a `k' on the subject line ?
] 
Seconded!  This is more fun to watch than either the Cheers
or Moonlighting romances...after all - we "know" these folks!!

Keep it up...errr, ahhh - oh, you know what I mean...

Diana
Xref: sparky alt.romance:6839 soc.singles:10807 soc.couples:1999