From: mba@controls.ccd.harris.com (Belinda Asbell)
Subject: Re: Itemized accounting of child support
Originator: mba@sp1
Organization: Harris Controls
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 14:54:07 GMT


In article <1993Jan6.215457.15658@porthos.cc.bellcore.com>, smile1@dancer.cc.bellcore.com (gray,david l) writes:
|> >If a parent and one child live in a house, it would make sense for the 'cost of
|> >keeping roof over kid's head' to be half of what rent or mortgage payment or
|> >whatever.  Same with utility bills and food bills (although food bills may need
|> >to be adjusted for teenagers :)

|> I strongly disagree.  Both my ex-wife and I now own houses.  I pay for mine
|> and she needs to pay for hers.  If my children come to visit or stay with
|> me in the event of her death my mortgage will not change, the heat will stay
|> the same, trash collection witll still cost $29.00 a month and I will still
|> have to vacume the floor.  I will still be cooking dinner every night for
|> myself and my new wife and all I will really do is cook 2lbs of fish instead
|> of one pound.  I do not expect to get paid for it either.  

It is true that the mortgage will not change when getting the kids *IF* you have
a sufficiently large house.  

However, not everyone lives in a house.  Not everyone can afford to.

Having children necessitates greater living space than not having children, and
there is a difference in rent between a 1-bedroom apartment and a 2-bedroom one.
 
|> In my own case I would hate to see my ex-wife and I get into a stupid war
|> over gas money and paying her mortgage.  A lawyer would have a field day
|> with it.  We would both end up broke and his children getting the money.
|> 
[deletia]
|> 
|> We should never micro-manage an adults money.

|> Dave

You are very fortunate, Dave, to have an ex who can act responsibly.  Agreed, not
everyone should have to itemize things. 

But not everyone acts as responsibly as you and your ex seem to do.  And that was
why this whole debate started...because NCPs were frustated with their children
wearing fleamarket clothes and eating weenies and beans while the CPs took
vacations and bought expensive cars with the money the NCP was sending *for the
children*.  And with such a large chunk of money being sent to the CP unaccounted
for, the NCP can't afford to remedy the situation themselves.

Now unless there was some weird incestuous relationship going on, the CP is *not*
the NCP's dependent child, and thus should not be spending money meant for the
children on themselves while the children starve.  We learned to remove price
tags from toys and clothing when sending gifts to the children because their
mother would otherwise take them back to the store, get the money, and buy
clothes at the fleamarket for much less, keeping the rest of the money.


But enough ranting and raving.  My point was that if an adult refuses to behave
in a responsible, adult manner, they cannot be trusted with adult
responsibilities without measures being taken to ensure fulfillment of
responsibility.


-- 
=============================================================================
Belinda Asbell        +  System Administrator, Harris Controls Division
mba@ccd.harris.com    +      Any opinions presented are mine alone.
  Good judgment comes from experience.  Experience comes from bad judgment.
Newsgroups: alt.dads-rights,alt.feminism,soc.men,soc.women