HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: carasso@Turing.ORG (Roger Carasso)
Subject: ARABS AND CAMEL
Organization: The Turing Project, Public Access Internet Host
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 20:49:32 GMT



FOUND IN TIME MAGAZINE FROM 1962:

 The Sheik is also a connoisseur of camel's milk -- his only drink --
and can tell by the milk's taste what the camel has been eating and
where it was in the desert.  For the best milk, he explains, we feed
camels on sea mangrove and dried fish.  This gives the milk a slightly
fishy freshness we appreciate."  Shakhbut once owned a Cadillac, but
when it finally broke down he just abandoned it.  Now he makes his
state visits in a bone-jarring Land-Rover, but without enthusiasm.  "I
did all my traveling by camel in the old days," he sighs, "but now I
have to go by car because if the ruler went by camel, people would
think it peculiar."



carasso,
mooooo
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Wax")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: I am like mister x in that...
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:23:56 GMT
Followup-To: home handyman magazine
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: cliftonr@netcom.com's message of 15 Dec 92 03:35:54 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.033554.24426@netcom.com> cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton) writes:
>      I suspect that fish hooks are not hypoallergenic.

So?  Electroplate them.  

You won't find THAT project in ``Home Handyman'' magazine!
--
                     'Bah!' said Scrooge, 'Humbug!'
 Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Fan Mail I have received
Date: 15 Dec 92 11:02:17 GMT
Organization: Spider Systems Limited, Edinburgh, UK.

From: jacksonk@cs.rpi.edu
Subject:- Flush Flush Flush (He's using a mail kill file)
> I'm sure your message was witty!  I thought I heard the computer chuckle
> before it deleted it (though it usually laughs at human stupidity ;^)

This guy is doing the electronic equivalent of putting his fingers in his
ears and shouting "I CAN'T HEAR YOU !!"

Sad really, I was enjoying the argument. I declare myself the winner.

	   Andy
-- 
    |      Andy  Cannon      | From a Vision of Reality,        |
    | Misplaced Yorkshireman | Comes my Nemesis of Faith.       |
    |   Spider Systems Ltd   | But is Everything so Different ? |
    |  andrewc@spider.co.uk  | And Still the Moon......         |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Detachable Penis
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 02:26:20 EST
Organization: Zantop World Airways

This is for the guy who heard King Missile's "Detachable Penis" and
didn't have time to transcribe the lyrics.

    I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
    And my penis was missing again.
    This happens all the time.
    It's detachable.
    
    [background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
    
    This comes in handy a lot of the time.
    I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
    or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
    But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
    and the next morning I can't for the life of me
    remember what I did with it.
    First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
    So I called up the place where the party was,
    they hadn't seen it either.
    I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
    'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
    But not this time.
    So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
    I called a few people who were at the party,
    but they were no help either.
    I was starting to get desperate.
    I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
    It makes me feel like less of a man,
    and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
    After a few hours of searching the house,
    and calling everyone I could think of,
    I was starting to get very depressed,
    so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
    Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
    where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
    I saw my penis lying on a blanket
    next to a broken toaster oven.
    Some guy was selling it.
    I had to buy it off him.
    He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
    I took it home, washed it off,
    and put it back on.  I was happy again.  Complete.
    People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
    but I don't know.
    Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
    I like having a detachable penis.
    
    [background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
     a while, then out]

No, no, don't thank me.

ljd
getting kinda tired of typing "detachable penis"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: thoth@uiuc.edu (Ben Cox)
Subject: Re: short shameful, sorrowful confession
Originator: ben@ipoint
Reply-To: thoth@uiuc.edu (Ben Cox)
Organization: Ancient Illuminated Sears of Bavaria
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 22:50:39 GMT

csuley@cs.cornell.edu (Christopher Suley) writes:

>I'm going home for Christmas break tomorrow, so I was deleting some old
>files from my account.  My dead.article file was over 100k, and most of
>it was aborted talk.bizarre posts.  And each one of them deserved to be
>deleted and forgotten.

Good idea.
From: operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: rooster
Date: 17 Dec 1992 06:57:23 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: o233-12.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

I really am at least 10% normal in person, it's just that I've
been locked up in this coop for so long. Haven't seen a hen
for a year and a day.

--
operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Single Berkeley or Oakland woman, 18-38 wanted for dinner.
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 19:19:26 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
  <1gj21cINN7an@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> <BzD76F.52@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil>

: You know, I bet even Gooley could get laid in Somalia.

Depends what you mean by "laid".

The best I'd predict would be a desultory dry lick, 
or perhaps the opportunity to penetrate spiderwebs.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant |  Would You Like alt.tasteless With That?        |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Subject: this week, 2
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 21:50:58 GMT

---
I just had dim sum for lunch.  It's the second nicest 
thing which has happened to me all week.  The first nicest
thing was also food-related.  Luis, Lance, & I ate at Pearl's
Oyster Bar in Palo Alto last night.  I ate a lot of oysters 
and drank several pints of beer.

Other than those two incidents, nothing nice has happened
all week.

---
c j silverio
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe)
Subject: Re: NANA MOUSKOURI....
Organization: Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs NY
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 22:14:14 GMT



  oh my. read the livestock posts. they will turn you off to nana any
day. 
					sioux

ps. i'm getting glasses just like nana's....can't *WAIT* !
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu (have clue, will travel)
Subject: Short shameful confession
Reply-To: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu
Organization: The Ghost Of Christmas Past Society
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 14:53:31 GMT


I am the romantic equivalent of a backgrounded process.

		
                	jeff "SWM, 22, desires to meet stack pointer" c., ncsu.


--
          jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu : have clue, will travel.
       ---------------------------------------------------
     It's time to see the world / It's time to kiss the girl
              It's time to cross the wild meridian
  Grab your bag and take a chance / Time to learn a Cajun dance
             Kid, you're gonna see the morning sun...
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (The Crow of Desperation)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Oooo baby
Date: 18 Dec 1992 03:20:07 GMT
Organization: The Church of Pat
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4

In article <1grfl8INN4ak@uwm.edu> terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net) writes:
*
*I love Star Trek men!
*
*Greasy haired men who live in thier basements get me hot.  Glasses a plus!

See what happens when you leave your terminal unattended....


Mark "With me in the room" Lippert 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: hayrides
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 22:17:22 GMT

Grain alcohol and a tractor-pulled cart full of hay.

Who thinks these things up?
--
!cat .signature
From: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: the caffeine gods have spoken
Date: 17 Dec 92 10:16:55 GMT
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

There's one Vivarin laying here.  At least, that's what Mike said it is.  He
also said it's the equivalent of about 3 cups of coffee.  I think Vivarin is
like a religion to him...  I've seen him, late at night, in a dark corner of
the office, hunched over a terminal wolfing the stuff by the box.  As he does
it, he mutters strange things in Latin.  Then again, maybe that's just the way
he is when he's coding.

					--Joachim
From: dnwangus@flash.LakeheadU.Ca (Dave Angus)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Bad News
Date: 18 Dec 1992 08:55:15 GMT
Organization: Lakehead University, Thunder Bay, Ont., Canada

Whatthehell; I read the post, therefore I am a God, 
so I'd better choose my specialty.

I am Bondo, the God of Rusted-out Pickup Trucks.

--
Dave Angus                                   "Kundalini wants his hand back"
From: ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra)
Subject: Re: Context in search of a quote
Organization: t.b
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 20:09:58 GMT

jws5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JUSTIN WINSLOW SOLONYNKA) writes:
> Inane, huh.  How about this for a quote: "TALK.BIZARRE - where unless you've
> been an outstanding member since the beginning of this universe, every single
> thing you write will be ripped to shreds and you will have to wear a flashing
> neon sign on your head that says `NEWBIE`."

     Not so.  Richh arrived in this newgroup a little
over a year ago and posted a Karen story.  He had
never posted here before.  And he never had to wear
a flashing neon sign on his forehead that says "NEWBIE".

     Unfortunately, Mr. Solonynka, you do have to
wear a flashing neon sign on your forehead that says
"NEWBIE."

--Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
                        {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu
From: ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Marketing Trends which must be encouraged
Date: 19 Dec 1992 07:28:53 GMT
Organization: finchhaus
NNTP-Posting-Host: helen.oit.itd.umich.edu

In article <75700@apple.apple.COM> bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre) writes:
>TOGO's is now selling a turkey, stuffing, gravy and cranberry sauce
>sandwich.
>
>What more need be said?

"Buzzy's of Boston"

AjD
-- 
                       ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu
    "Whatever makes the most money will happen." -- Eleanor Glyn
From: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: use your MIND
Date: 15 Dec 1992 03:02:34 GMT
Organization: Computing Something Division
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4

In article <TOMF.92Dec14191935@ai.gte.com> tomf@gte.com writes:
>From rec.games.abstract:
>> The scene is a dormitory room (20x20).  ALL the furniture has been moved
>> to the walls.  The floor is soaked.  The windows and doors are all locked
>> from the inside.  A college student is hanging from the rafters by a long
>> belt.  How did this person die?  Was it murder?

1) Dorm rooms are never this large, asshole.
2) This was on Car Talk (Cah Tahk) just two weeks ago.


I win.

-- 
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.   \  (414)CRUSH-13
T. Flynn's Casa de Interesting: 1755 N Cambridge Ave #306 Milwaukee WI 53202
From: rct@fulcrum.co.uk (Richard Taylor)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: In Search Of
Date: 18 Dec 92 15:26:41 GMT
Organization: Fulcrum Communications

In article <1992Dec17.012959.29616@athena.mit.edu> dschmidt@athena.mit.edu (Dan Schmidt) writes:
>
>So I was trying to think of the most long-winded sentence in a pop
>song.  Strings such as the Police'
>
>  "I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing, I can't, I can't, I can't
>  stand losing, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing you"
>
>have been proposed, but currently I think that the prize goes to the
>Buzzcocks'
>
>  "Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love, in love with
>  someone, ever fallen in love, in love with someone you shouldn't have
>  fallen in love with, fallen in love with, ever fallen in love with
>  someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?"
>

How about Warm Leatherette by The Mekons (not the cover version by "There but
for the Grace-of God-Jones go I"). It was the first record on the Mute label.

It mainly consists of two words - "warm" and "leatherette" in complete
monotone, backed by the two electronic chords.

Put this on an automatic turntable, and go mad. Someone did this at a party
about 13 years ago (when it first came out) and I still haven't forgotten
waking up the next morning to hear it still playing.

Regards,
============================================================================
Richard Taylor                  DoD #981                 (rct@fulcrum.co.uk)
   Heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
============================================================================
Fulcrum Communications Ltd., Fordrough Lane, Birmingham, B9 5LD, ENGLAND.
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Wax")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: realization
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:08:53 GMT
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu's message of 15 Dec 92 16:06:04 GMT

In article <MJD.92Dec15110604@saul.cis.upenn.edu> mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Wax") writes:
>   What YOU really need is a Johnson.

Er, um, no pun intended.  Really.

Oh dear.
--
                     'Bah!' said Scrooge, 'Humbug!'
 Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: I can hear them...
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 21:30:27 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.083617.18313@news.Hawaii.Edu> rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Killing Pace) writes:
>I'm currently observing at the VLA.  It's a blast!  Twenty-some-odd giant 
>antennae stretched across several kilometers of desert floor in a 'Y' 
>shaped pattern, are all slewing in perfect synch to track my objects as I 
>sit here sipping bad coffee and catching up on t.b.

 [ VLA = Very Large Array, an astronomy thing ]

>I would like to have a time-lapse video recording of the array elements 
>being moved along their railroad tracks, from the smaller 'B' configuration
>to the larger 'A' configuration that I needed for my project.  If this event 
>were filmed from the heights of the nearby mountains, it might resemble the 
>eye of some huge metallic insect reacting some new stimuli.  Dilating, fo-
>cussing, resolving...


It's all fake.


X Industries has been supplying the data feed for years.

All that software? It's the last 5 years postings from alt.romance.chat,
converted to hex. The graphics are an Apple ][+ (they couldn't get funding
for a real workstation).


-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"Data sheet: HSN-3000 Nuclear Event Detector. The [NED] senses the gamma
radiation pulse [from a] nuclear weapon." As if we wouldn't notice...
From: covingc@ee.tamu.edu (Mouse)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: A Christmas Song / SATAN
Date: 12 Dec 1992 08:23:40 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University
NNTP-Posting-Host: ee.tamu.edu

In article <18112@autodesk.COM> grantb@Autodesk.COM (Grant Blaha) writes:
>Sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Coming To Town"
>
<Song Deleted>
>
>- Purple Tiger
>  "Chairman Bill is the God of our everlasting destruction."

Ever notice that if you swap the letters in SANTA around a bit, you get SATAN?
    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: merlyn@digibd.com (Merlyn LeRoy)
Subject: hort hameful confeion
Organization: DigiBoard Incorporated, Eden Prairie, MN
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 06:01:47 GMT

My '' key doen't work!

---
Merlyn LeRoy
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: Edmonton....ITV.....Is it to have DS9R
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 04:05:46 GMT

In <1992Dec12.034207.4257@cs.mun.ca> darrenj@nadine.cs.mun.ca (Darren Jacobs]) writes:
>	Does anyone in Edmonton, Alberta know if ITV is going to carry 
>the Deep Space 9 series in January?

No, it won't, but I can get you a deal on DSM IV.

>If your wondering why someone from Nfld is asking its because its the only
>station carried on cable here that shows TNG.

From what I understand of Newfoundland, I do not wonder at all why someone
from there is asking talk.bizarre about some goddamned TV show.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy)
Subject: Re: A Christmas Song / SATAN
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 23:55:21 GMT

In article <1gc7icINN7ko@tamsun.tamu.edu> covingc@ee.tamu.edu (Mouse) writes:
>In article <18112@autodesk.COM> grantb@Autodesk.COM (Grant Blaha) writes:
>>Sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Coming To Town"
>>
><Song Deleted>
>>
>>- Purple Tiger
>>  "Chairman Bill is the God of our everlasting destruction."
>
>Ever notice that if you swap the letters in SANTA around a bit, you get SATAN?

	NO. now please shove your head into your rectum and kindly fuck
	off. this has been a t.b. welcoming committee message. have a day. 

--
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: boutell@isis.cshl.org (Tom Boutell)
Subject: Re: One of my lamer moments to date
Organization: Cold Spring Harbor Labs
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 14:04:38 GMT

Well said.

I had the extreme good fortune of two intelligent parents
who were in a reasonable facsimile of a decent relationship with
each other and still are. This is probably why I don't see every
relationship, public or private, as a shootin' war, though I have
been asked to accept that interpretation by others.

This is probably why I don't do well at (serious, not talk.bizarre 
flame-level) "us and them" interpretations of things: I listen to people 
tell me how George Bush is less than human, fundamentally evil, etc. etc.
etc., and though I disagree with 90% of what the man has done this
sounds like utter nonsense to me, because he's obviously human
and, like most (though not all) humans, probably means well
and is convinced he is doing well. When I listen to a self-
proclaimed "liberal" disclaiming the inhumanity of a conservative
I begin seeing the speaker as just another selfish animal
(or dragon, as you put it), using a "liberal" worldview to
achieve its selfish ends. I need a little more proof of inhumanity
than a different set of decisions on the issues. People who
disagree with us, or people we see as misguided, need to be
answered aggressively and publicly, and if they threaten our
physical well-being that violence may need to be answered
as well; but if we give up attempts at dialogue we may as well
admit we are what we see them to be: less than human, robots
designed to carry out a specific "evil" mission, contemptible.

-T

-- 
Tom Boutell, boutell@cshl.org

Clausthaler is the best non - alcoholic beer in the known universe.
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Wax")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Sioux -- my heart forever.
Date: 15 Dec 92 15:50:39 GMT
	<MJD.92Dec13134135@saul.cis.upenn.edu>
	<1992Dec14.123944.2814@cnsvax.uwec.edu>
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu's message of 14 Dec 92 18:39:44 GMT

In article <1992Dec14.123944.2814@cnsvax.uwec.edu> hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu writes:
>  I concede.  

What a shame.  I was hoping, against hope, that when pressed to the
point, you would turn out to be something other than a whining,
no-account loser who spends all his time railing against people who
ridicule him and others for not having anything to say, but who doesn't
actually have anything to say.

>   GET A LIFE!

This, after a whole post about how it doesn't mean anything?

I think that about sums it up.

*plonk*
--
                     'Bah!' said Scrooge, 'Humbug!'
 Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: short, shameful confession
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 05:11:50 GMT

I wait impatiently for rec.humor.funny to present my contribution.

Mark.
gooley@netcom.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com (Gerald Oskoboiny)
Subject: Re: something you should know...
Originator: gerald@gerald
Date: 17 Dec 92 22:05:36 GMT
Reply-To: gerald@torolab4.vnet.ibm.com
Organization: Ministry of Noises
Keywords: hate

In talk.bizarre,alt.good.news,misc.test,rec.pets,misc.jobs.offered
bspencer@cs.mcgill.ca (Brian SPENCER) writes:

>pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy) writes:
>>it makes me happy to know i could easily hate all of you for no reason
>>what so ever. is that good news (to me) or what! have a hate filled break. 
>
>People like you aren't usually worth the effort but I'll make a special
>exception. My advice to you is get your bicycle seat fixed NOW.
>Obviously, riding on a metal post has made you exceptionally crabby.


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                                  INSERT COIN 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: Re: EARN MONEY STUFFING STUDENTS
Organization: Netcun Online Cunnilingus Services (408-241-9760 login: licker)
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 18:52:44 GMT

In article <BzIIxA.GJw@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> ryno@sage.cc.purdue.edu (POOH BEAR) writes:
>	If you are interested in earning a great supplemental income,
>        stuffing students as a taxidermist, send a SASE to :
>
>			STUDENT STUFFERS
>			348-3 W. Oak St.
>			West Lafayette, In.
>					47906
>
Mark., a slight modification or three
gooley@netcom.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre