From: iad@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Ivan A Derzhanski)
Newsgroups: alt.atheism
Subject: Re: Top Ten Reasons to Bash Atheists (clarified)
Date: 5 Nov 92 10:24:18 GMT
Organization: Centre for Cognitive Science, Edinburgh, UK

In article <1992Nov1.212909.8657@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu> sfm@manduca.neurobio.arizona.edu (Stephen Matheson) writes:
>I have been harshly rebuked for posting the Top Ten Reasons to Bash
>Atheists, perhaps because this sort of thing is not allowed in
>alt.atheism.

It is not that this sort of thing (what sort of thing?) is not allowed
on alt.atheism.  It is that your _T10RtBA_ was hopelessly stupid.
Sometimes substituting a few words for another few words in a joke
yields another joke, but in your case it yielded nonsense.  Watch.

>> 10.  The same techniques are also good for getting rid of telephone
>>        solicitors.
>> 
> 10.  The same techniques are also good for getting rid of bigots of
>	any ilk.

There is an analogy between the kind of proselytisers we get on
alt.atheism and 'phone solicitors.  If you can argue for a similar
analogy between atheists and bigots of any ilk, fine.  Otherwise you
kill the joke.

>>  9.  Their religion tells them they should struggle with their faith.
>> 
>  9.  Their religion tells them they should hate those outside their
>	faith.

Fundies have a religion.  Atheists, by definition, have none.  So much
for this joke.

>>  8.  It's so amusing to watch their eyes pop out when they find out
>>        you know more Scripture than they do.
>> 
>  8.  It's so amusing to watch their eyes pop out when they find out
>        you know more Scripture than they do.

Just how many atheists' eyes have you seen going out by demonstrating
a more profound knowledge of (presumingly the Christian) Scripture?
(I'm not claiming to know more Scripture than anyone else does, and
yet my eyes are comfortable in their sockets.  But then, unlike many
net.atheists, I have never been religious.)  Joke killed.

>>  7.  Always a great line: I'd rather serve Mammon.
>> 
>  7.  Always a great line: I'd rather serve God.

Go ahead, see if anyone cares.  "I'd rather serve Mammon" does have an
effect on the fundies in the audience.  "I'd rather serve God" doesn't
affect the atheists at all.  So much for this joke.

>>  6.  Jim Bakker is still in jail, and Tammy is still ugly.

I have no idea who J Bakker and Tammy are, but ...

>  6.  Karl Marx is still dead,

... of course he is, as is everyone who has ever died (including Jesus
from Nazareth, in the unlikely event that he existed).  Marxism, on
the other hand, is still alive.

And I know that you're having trouble realising it, but one doesn't
have to be a Marxist in order to be an atheist (though some of us are).

>  and Leningrad is back to St. Petersburg

... yes, what's the point?  That's what Peter the Great called it, so
there is a reason to call it that even if one doesn't believe that there
is such a person or thing as St Peter.  (It is still a silly name.)

>>  5.  Good opportunity to practice finding logical fallacies.
>> 
>  5.  Good opportunity to practice finding logical fallacies.

True in both directions, except there are fewer logical fallacies in
atheists' arguments.  (Occasionally there are some, and then it is
good practice for atheists, too, to point them out.)  We didn't learn
much from this one.

>>  4.  Their tax-exempt churches aren't helping our deficit problems.
>> 
>  4.  Their tax-exempt organizations aren't helping our deficit problems.

This is a US-specific one, so I won't comment on it.  I'd be
interested to hear of a few tax-exempt atheist organisations, though.

>>  3.  You can buy property real cheap from the ones who are sure the
>>        Rapture is coming.
>> 
>  3.  You can learn what a "scoffer" is by asking them what they know
>	about the Rapture.

Rapture is the event that didn't take place on 28 October this year.
Do I get a biscuit now?  You may also quiz me on the basic concepts of
other religions.  Christianity is not the only one around, remember.
So much from this joke.

>>  2.  If we keep making fun of them, maybe they'll just go away.
>> 
>  2.  If we keep making fun of them, maybe they'll just go away.

Go away from alt.atheism?  Don't hold your breath for that.  You'll choke.
Joke killed.

>>  1.  If you invite them into your home, you can make them wet their
>>        pants by drawing a pentacle around them.
>> 
>  1.  If you invite them into your home, you can make them wet their
>        pants by failing to line up with their deranged, bigoted
>	stereotypes.

I'm intrigued.  Pray tell what stereotypes you have in mind, and show
that you fail to line up with them.  Don't worry, I'm not likely to
wet my trousers because of it, but it will be amusing.

See what I mean when I say that you've done an awfully poor job of
making a joke out of another joke?

-- 
 `If ye hiv ears oan yer heid - then use them tae lissen.' (The Glasgow Gospel)
Ivan A Derzhanski   (iad@cogsci.ed.ac.uk;  iad@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu)
* Centre for Cognitive Science,  2 Buccleuch Place,  Edinburgh EH8 9LW,  UK
* Cowan House, Pollock Halls, 18 Holyrood Park Road, Edinburgh EH16 5BD, UK