From: hoza@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (HOZA MARK R)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dan-quayle
Subject: Re: Quayle Quotes: some of these are real good
Date: 13 Apr 92 13:11:56 GMT
Article-I.D.: ucsu.1992Apr13.131156.26977
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder

mllee@amherst.edu writes:

Galen, I thought that you might enjoy this.  There is a news group just for
Quayle stuff (Quayle-bashing, perhaps?).  I got a good laugh out of these, 
then I thought about who this idiot is, and maybe it's harder to laugh.  I
cannot believe that this man(?is he human?) is _The_ Vice President of the 
United States!  Unbelieveable.
See you later, 
Mark Hoza


>Here are some Quayle quotes, though I can't credit the person who originally
>compiled them all.

>Quotes from your bud and mine, Dan Quayle

>Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more stable peace, a better
>prospect to denying the ones who enter conflict in the first place
>to have a reduction of offensive systems and an introduction to
>defensive capability.  I believe that is the route this country
>will eventually go.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>Mars is essentially in the same orbit... somewhat the same distance from the
>Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals,
>we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If
>oxygen, that means we can breathe.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific.  It is IN
>the Pacific.  It is a part of the United States that is an island that
>is right here.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle,
>                   Hawaii, September 1989

>What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind.  Or not to have a mind
>at all.  How true that is.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle winning friends while
>                   speaking to the United Negro College Fund

>You all look like happy campers to me.  Happy campers you are, happy
>campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you
>will always be.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, to the American Samoans,
>                   whose capital Quayle pronounces "Pogo Pogo"

>Quayle stumbled in response to a question about his opinion of the
>Holocaust. He said it was "an obscene period in our nation's history."
>Then, trying to clarify his remark, Quayle said he meant "this century's
>history" and added a confusing comment.  "We all lived in this century,
>I didn't live in this century," he said.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work toward the elimination
>of human rights.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising that there are many voices
>to be heard here. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans... I have heard a
>single voice.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
>democracy - but that could change.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president,
>and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, to the Phoenix Republican
>                   Forum, March 1990

>It's rural America.  It's where I came from.  We always refer to ourselves
>as real America.  Rural America, real America, real, real, America.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>Target prices?  How that works?  I know quite a bit about farm policy.
>I come from Indiana, which is a farm state.  Deficiency payments -
>which are the key - that is what gets money into the farmer's hands.
>We got loan, uh, rates, we got target, uh, prices, uh, I have worked
>very closely with my senior colleague, (Indiana Sen.) Richard Lugar,
>making sure that the farmers of Indiana are taken care of.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle on being asked to
>                   define the term "target prices."
>                   Quayle's press secretary then cut short the press
>                   conference, after two minutes and 30 seconds.

>I not going to focus on what I have done in the past
>what I stand for, what I articulate to the American people.
>The American people will judge me on what I am saying and what I
>have done in the last 12 years in the Congress.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could not have prevailed
>without them in 'Red Storm Rising'.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>The US has a vital interest in that area of the country.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle Referring to Latin America.

>Japan is an important ally of ours. Japan and the United States of
>the Western industrialized capacity, 60 percent of the GNP,
>two countries. That's a statement in and of itself.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>Who would have predicted... that Dubcek, who brought the tanks in in
>Czechoslovakia in 1968 is now being proclaimed a hero in Czechoslovakia.
>Unbelievable.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle
>                   Actually, Dubcek was the leader of the Prague Spring.

>May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world.
>                -- The Quayle's 1989 Christmas card.
>                   [Not a beacon of literacy, though.]

>Well, it looks as if the top part fell on the bottom part.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle referring to
>                   the collapsed section of the 880 freeway after
>                   the San Francisco earthquake of 1989.
>                   [this may be a joke; the source is unclear.
>                      but it's still funny]

>getting [cruise missiles] more accurate so that we can have precise
>precision.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle referring to his legislative
>                   work dealing with cruise missles

>I can identify with steelworkers. I can identify with workers that
>have had a difficult time.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle addressing workers at
>                   an Ohio steel plant,1988

>[I will never have] another Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy,
>Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy Carter grain embargo.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle during the Bentson debate

>Certainly, I know what to do, and when I am Vice President -- and
>I will be -- there will be contingency plans under different sets of
>situations and I tell you what, I'm not going to go out and hold a news
>conference about it. I'm going to put it in a safe and keep it there! Does
>that answer your question?
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle when asked what he
>                   would do if he assumed the Presidency,1988

>Lookit, I've done it their way this far and now it's my turn. I'm
>my own handler. Any questions? Ask me ... There's not going to be any more
>handler stories because I'm the handler ... I'm Doctor Spin.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle responding to press reports
>                   his aides having to, in effect, "potty train" him.

>I would guess that there's adequate low-income housing in this
>country.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>The real question for 1988 is whether we're going to go forward to
>tomorrow or past to the -- to the back!
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity,
>family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988

>We'll let the sunshine in and shine on us, because today we're
>happy and tomorrow we'll be even happier.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988

>We're going to have the best-educated American people in the
>world.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

>This election is about who's going to be the next President of the
>United States!
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988

>        Don't forget about the importance of the family. It begins with
>the family. We're not going to redefine the family. Everybody knows the
>definition of the family. [Meaningful pause] A child. [Meaningful pause] A
>mother. [Meaningful pause] A father. There are other arrangements of the
>family, but that is a family and family values.
>        I've been very blessed with wonderful parents and a wonderful
>family, and I am proud of my family. Anybody turns to their family. I have
>a very good family. I'm very fortunate to have a very good family. I
>believe very strongly in the family. It's one of the things we have in
>our platform, is to talk about it.
>        I suppose three important things certainly come to my mind that we
>want to say thank you. The first would be our family. Your family, my
>family -- which is composed of an immediate family of a wife and three
>children, a larger family with grandparents and aunts and uncles. We all
>have our family, whichever that may be ... The very beginnings of
>civilization, the very beginnings of this country, goes back to the family.
>And time and time again, I'm often reminded, especially in this
>Presidential campaign, of the importance of a family, and what a family
>means to this country. And so when you pay thanks I suppose the first thing
>that would come to mind would be to thank the Lord for the family.
>                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

> ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---   ---
>Newsflash  X/X 1992     Newsflash

>St. Louis, MO  --(UPI)-- Vice President Dan Quayle today visited St.
>Lous, MO, which bears a heavy population descended from German
>immigrants.  In order to show support for the newly-unified country of
>Germany, fatherland of many in the audience, he repeated John F.
>Kennedy's words of support 30 years earlier, but this time in English,
>"I am a Jelly Doughnut!"  Political commentators agreed that something
>was lost in the translation.  Dan Quayle explained his remark by saying
>that he had been told that those who lived in central America enjoyed
>jelly doughnuts.

>Good for many laughs!!!

>-Mike Lee   mllee@amherst.edu