From: rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Michael A. Rigler)
Subject: [KQ] Thk [ScrRam] Tag Team Beer Wrestling
Organization: Ministry of Marqaha
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 02:18:22 GMT

Chrs:  KronQuestors

Sambul moans and backs away from the frothing sheet of beer which dances
before him with malice, while around him, the whimpier patrons of the 
Scrappy Ram choose the better part of valor and seek egress from the 
building via any available means.  The giant, however, is neither afraid 
nor superstitious.  He moans merely because he is a deaf-mute.  He backs 
away from the Beer Elemental out of giantish common sense.  If anything, 
he is confused.  Should he defend the bar against this wet thing?  Or 
scoop up Verdigren and split?

He spares a quick glance at his boss, who lies stunned nearby.  Sambul 
flashes a gesture in sign language.  But Verdigren does not see --

                        * Ker - SLOSH!!! *

-- a split second is all the furious Elemental needs to lash out at 
Sambul's head with a foamy pseudopod.  The wallop connects squarely 
with the giant's massive stomach, and he reels backwards with pin-
wheeling arms...back, back, back * KRASH * and comes to rest in a pile
of broken furniture.  A weaker being would have been bodily pitched 
across the room and knocked senseless or killed outright.  But Sambul
recovers almost immediately.

Unfortunately, while giants are great at throwing boulders and the
like, they are, in general, not able to stand up very quickly, espec-
ially when they have become entangled in chairs and tables.  This giant
is no different.  For a few vital moments, his massive arms and legs
churn frantically, like pistons gone haywire, but he succeeds mainly 
in grinding more of Verdigren's furniture into matchsticks.

During this spectacle, The Beer Elemental strains forwards, chomping
at the bit, and sends a snakelike stream of beer gushing along the 
floor.  The small stream rolls up the giant's neck and flows in
through his mouth and nostrils with some force!  For a second, Sambul
pauses in surprise, wide eyed and sputtering.  Then he rolls over and
attempts to staunch the stream by clamping his mouth shut and batting
at it with his huge fists.  He quickly realizes that his strength is 
useless against sentient fluid -- the beer keeps getting through, and
he is drowning.  Undismayed, he switches strategies and begins drinking 
the beer down his gullet as only a giant can drink...

"SSSsss...K'tha!  K'tha!  Rath-nak Pullith't  I'zn!  K'tha!..."

The lizardman on the bar clamps his will on the Elemental he has conj-
ured.  He has no wish to kill the giant -- especially not by drowning
him!  That is no warrior's death.  And the giant isn't even armed.
He only intended to make the mob back off, which they have been kind
enough to do.  And now, in the aftermath, he finds himself wondering
how he can expend the fury of the Elemental in some harmless fashion.

It has been a long time since Thk has conjured a low-order elemental 
from the Plane of Water, and for damn good reason.  The entities tend
to be fiesty, difficult to control, and typically outraged at the ind-
ignity and pain of being plucked from their homes, cloaked in water 
(or beer) and made to perform arbitrary tasks.  They are oh so stupid,
too.

Right now, this one wants to kill somebody, and if it is not Thk, then 
Sambul.  Thk closes his eyes and concentrates harder...

                            -= SLICE ! =-

"SSSHHHaiiEEEEGH!"  Thk falls to the bar top, clutching his bleeding
calf.  Before him stands that gnome/lizardman waving a bloody axe in 
his face and emitting some munchkinish whine about "This'll teach you 
to ignore me blah blah blah..."

Then the gnome/lizardman transforms into a copper dragon, destroys
more of Verdigren's property, and flies out through a hole in the 
roof.

"Psh-yeah right!"  THk thinks, disbelieving.  The wounds on his calf
disappear as if they have never been.  The hole in the roof is mended.
Even the memory of what just happened is gone.  Thk stands up.

                       * Ker - SLOSH ! *

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Rigler    (aka 'Thk')    [ADMIN: ANOTHER POST TO FOLLOW IMMEDIATELY]