From: anon-1154@twwells.com (Chris)
Subject: Thank you, asar
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 21:15:17 GMT

This is a healthy place.  Thanks to those of you who posted to offer support
or suggestions, and to the administrator's assistance.  To anon - (All me of
us), your hugs are accepted and returned.  (What's a multiple?  Like Sybil?)
If so, I can certainly relate to that.  It must take a very strong person,
and a very big reason, to pull it off, then to eventually pull em altogether.
I hope to hear more from you, over the net or one on one, after I've figured
out all the details.  (I've made a few big mistakes posting.  Once, on the
network "Christia," I accidentally posted to the whole group, thinking I was
responding to one lone soul.  And it was personal stuff!)
To Susan, deep thanks for your encouragement.  It's not as hard to bare my
soul under an anonymous id, especially with the spirit of acceptance and
support of this group.  And I think you're right, we need to talk about it.
I believe we can put an end to a lot of abuse by bringing it out in the open.
It might be a powerful deterrent to a potential abuser, knowing one day it
may all come out.
To clloister(etc) No, I'm not married to him anymore, though I confess I did
stay far longer than I should have.  I read that women with a history of
abuse tend to gravitate toward abusive men, and that's what I did.  When I
couldn't stand it anymore, I confided in my (now ex) husband what had happened
to me as a child.  He said he resented getting "used goods" and spent much of
his time punishing me for it.  One day he held me down and forced me to give
him oral sex (flashback!!) and called me a bitch, etc.  Well, after seeing
him have more affairs than I could put up with, after being physically,
emotionally and sexually abused for 16 years, I left him.  It wasn't a total
loss, I have two sons as a result of that marriage.  And I was really proud
of myself for getting up the strength to leave him.  I thought of him, and
all the stuff I'd gone through as a child, and how he picked right up where
they'd left off.  I figured it was a major accomplishment that I was sane,
and I thought - Hey, what's _your_ excuse, fella?  You were born with a
silver spoon, and you're acting crazy!
I've rebuilt my life.  I met and married a really sweet guy and now have a
new baby (well, 2 year old) and am relatively happy, mostly.  It's just that
I deal incessently with self-esteem issues.  I feel like an actress, pretend-
ing to be a normal person.  When I had a perfect figure, I only saw my
faults.  When I'd get a compliment, I argued with it, I couldn't accept it.
It's not so profound as before, but maybe it never really stops completely.
It's really nice to have this group to lean of, confide in, and read through.
The best part is knowing I'm not alone!
To anyone wishing to communicate, my id is anon-1154@twwells.com.
ANON-Name:  Chris
ANON-Mail:  yes
ANON-Ping:  yes
ANON-announce:  yes

Thanks to all, and lots of sunshine, too.

:)  Chris



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