From: sheehan@pagosa.scd.ucar.edu (Tim Sheehan)
Subject: Re: Rape in any form ...
Organization: NCAR/UCAR
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 23:25:17 GMT

In article <1992Jul23.175429.11674@brtph560.bnr.ca>, kimmyd@bnr.ca (Kimmy Posey P920) writes:
 > Rape is rape is rape.  It is an absolute.  To fantasize about rape is always
 > the prelude to the act.

True.

 > ...
 > It doesn't change the fact that anyone who fantasizes about rape
 > is a potential rapist and should get help before it's too late.

I think this is a dangerous attitude. For one thing, virtually everyone has
fantasies that, if carried out, would break the law and devestate others. Whenever
I'm driving and a pedestrian illegally walks in front of my car, I fantasize about
running over him. When another driver cuts me off, I want to ram his car. When
someone insults me, I fantasize about beating him up.

Have I ever carried out any of these actions? Of course not. To do so would hurt
someone else, and the guilt would hurt me, too. Part of me wants to hurt people
who make my life worse, but the larger part of me doesn't want to hurt anyone.

Why do I have such fantasies? They are born from the urge to do these things.
From something deep inside me that says "hey, let's run over that asshole."
Fantasizing about doing so is the way my mind lets me enjoy that experience
without actually hurting anybody. Having enjoyed my fantasy, the urge to hurt is
gone.

If you tell me that I should not have such fantasies, and I believe you, then
where does that leave me.? I can feel guilty for having them, which will make me
miserable and may lead me to deeper psychological problems. I could deny my
fantasies and leave my urge to hurt unsatisfied. Doing this may allow that urge
to grow so strong that I cannot supress it and I end up actually hurting someone.

If you prevent those who have an urge to rape from fantasizing about it, then the
urge to rape may grow so strong that it is carried out rather than defused through
a fantasy. A pressure cooker without a relief valve will explode.


 > But I have seen people suggest that
 > viewing rape scenes on film is just peachy!

I find such scenes revolting, whether they are meant to be or not. Just as I find
scenes of violence revolting, too. This certainly limits the movies and television
shows I watch. 

However, someone will offended by virtually anything that is put out in the media.
I have no desire for others to tell me what I should be able to see, hear, think,
or feel. And I don't want to tell others what they should, either. The fact that
some people are allowed to find pleasure in something I find revolting is part of
the price I pay for living in a mostly free society. I try to change people's
tastes and beliefs through education and discussion rather than legislation.


 > And others who view rapists as
 > poor little innocent people who are just deeply disturbed.  Gimme a break!

I haven't seen any posts that describe them quite in those terms, but I agree with
your opinion here. Anyone who rapes is a monster and should be prevented from 
having the opporunity to rape again.

 > 
 > I neglected to mention people who fantasize about being raped.  All I can say
 > here is that I feel confident that if such a person could add to that fantasy
 > the physical, emotional, and spiritual trauma suffered by a true rape victim,
 > the 'fun' would go out of the experience pretty quick.

Fantasies are not supposed to be miserable. I would bet that virtually all people
who have fantasies about being raped are appalled by the reality of rape. The 
fantasies serve to explore the thought of being raped and to defuse any urges to
be raped.

 > 
 > Got anymore comments bright boy (girl) ?
 > 
 > KimmyD

-- 
-Tim-

P.S. I am sorry for all the grief you are feeling in your present situation. I,
like many others who read and post in this group, know about the pain rape causes
from our experiences in the real world.


sheehan@ncar.ucar.edu