From: ginger@cory.Berkeley.EDU (Ginger Ogle)
Subject: Summary: You *will* like Little League
Organization: University of California, at Berkeley
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1992 06:03:09 GMT

I want to thank everyone who responded to my post about my kid who
wants to quit baseball because he isn't very good. I appreciated
the words of wisdom from coaches, parents who've been or are going
through this, and from grown-ups who played as kids.

After a talk, we all decided to stick with it. I managed some
feeble practice sessions in the back yard, as recommended, and gave
a pep talk about the team needing him (which it does, to avoid
forfeiting games!) but I think the new cleats really clinched it :)

Last Saturday's game was the low point. He struck out every time
at bat and cried first in the dugout, then all the way home. 
He hasn't had a single hit all summer, he's afraid of being hit by 
the ball, so he ducks, and flinches at bat. Some of his teammates
were giving him a hard time.  I resolved to have other things
planned for the last 3 games so he would "have to" miss them.

But, to my utter amazement, an hour before today's game, he told
me he wanted to go, even though I'd provided him with an excuse
to miss it. He said he wanted to try to get a hit. I have to admire
this kid - I would never have gone back after the disaster of that 
last game. I told him I thought that was a good idea (a lie) and
that I felt *sure* he'd get a hit today, and then added some
mumbo-jumbo about "visualizing a hit" that I think I got from
Jerry Brown. Well, I'll be damned if he didn't get a hit. He
got a double! And ended up scoring! He's been strutting around
here all evening like he's Jose Canseco, and was even nice to his
little brother for two straight hours.  Sometimes it seems like it's 
the kids teaching the parents, doesn't it?

So here is the summary of the replies to my post:

	Number of Replies: 16

	Tally:	Stick it out: 13 * 
		Let him quit: 1
		No position:  2

	* 4 of these advised quitting, though, if things were *really* bad

Reasons to stick it out:
------------------------
- kids need to learn to finish what they start/learn about committment (8)
- kids mature and get better (esp. at baseball) - don't give up yet (5)
- Would hurt his self-esteem/confidence to quit now (2)
- a shame to quit if he loves it just because of a nasty remark (4)
- useful to learn to stand up to teasing (1)
- kids should do at least one sport (1)

Reasons to quit:
---------------
- harmful to force a child to do something he hates/isn't good at (2)
- bad experience being forced to continue as a child (1)
- would hurt his self esteem to endure teasing/continue to do poorly (1)


Comments:
---------

- "I took Kevin to a local batting cage a couple times during the season, and
  it really helped him at batting."

- "10/11 [years] is where the better natural athletes start to shine."

- "Eventually, I came to the realization that no amount of practice would ever 
  enable me to hit a baseball and I wanted to quit because it seemed like a 
  waste of time and I simply didn't like it.  Unfortunately my father had 
  other ideas and I heard all of them (no son of mine will be a quitter, etc).
  Dad basically "forced" me to go to games... It caused a lot of problems 
  between my dad and me for a long time."

- "It seems to depend on the attitude of the coaches and the parents - 
  how much do they emphasize winning and sportsmanship?"

- "The most important thing that children should learn in sports 
  (and this is my own opinion) is that when you make a commitment
  to do something you should do your best and follow through. This is the
  only way to gain the perspective and confidence in yourself that will
  lead to achievement in other areas."

- "Most of the kids that I have coached who have not played well 
  during the season haven't practiced on their own.  Recognize
  where he needs improvement and have a short practice everyday."

- "Hitting a baseball is the most difficult skill perhaps in all of 
  sports and most major leaguers are unsuccessful 75% of the time."

- "I have always complemented them on how proud I am of them for 
  sticking with something that is difficult, and on how "mentally" tough 
  they are.  We have discussed how the the importance of an activity is
  trying it and doing your best, even if it isn't good enough."

- "You may point out that children, especially boys, mature at different 
  rates, and that he is probably someone who will mature later and so
  he shouldn't give up just before his body gets the maturity to do 
  what he wants."

- "Explain to him that unfortunately it's not unusual for some 9/10 year 
  olds to be insensitive --- but that it's the other kid who needs to 
  change, not him. If he really loves baseball... it would be a shame for
  him to drop out simply because of some insensitive kid."

- "I really liked softball and was even the 'most improved' on my 
  team the one year I did play.... But I felt I was so much worse 
  than everyone else that I didn't want to play anymore.  Now I
  really wish I had stuck with it."

- "One game I didn't make him go, I was tired of fighting.  
  But, I did make him finish the season.  I tried to tell him he was
  part of the team, his team needed him, etc. At the end of the season 
  he still had not hit the ball.  He would hit it in practice though.  
  It's really hard to see our kids go thru trials like this.
  I am not going to push him playing ball next year.  I hope 
  he will grow out of it.  He is a good player."

- "Point out the times when he has successfully come back after a
  disappointment. The fact that he is not as good as some of his 
  peers is meaningless if he is not playing merely for the competition."

- "Of course, if the peer pressure is too great, then this may be the wrong
  place for him to play ball. He may hate it more if you make him go."

- "We made him stick out the year, to no great emotional or psychological harm.
  It will be his decision next spring if he wants to play or not..."

- "The fact that excellence (and sometimes mere competence) takes *work* 
  is a hard thing to accept.  Sounds like this is a golden opportunity for 
  your son to learn a valuable lesson doing something he likes to do anyway."

- "My daughter has experienced some of this, and has accepted that although 
  there are some things she does very well, sports is not one of them...
  She still plays the best she can (she plays soccer goalie): 
  she likes to play so she does."
-- 

/* 	Ginger Ogle		ginger@cory.berkeley.edu	
 */
Newsgroups: misc.kids