HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: becki@Ingres.COM (Rebecca E. Tants)
Subject: Re: Good Sex or Good Food (was Re: "Cheating")
Reply-To: becki@squid.ingres.com (Rebecca E. Tants)
Organization: Ingres, The ASK Group
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: 7 Jan 93 18:11:33 GMT

Chris Andersen (ucda@toontown.uucp) wrote:
:   1. Every sexual experience you have from this point on will be as
:      good as it can be.  It could be compared to a spiritual experience
:      everytime.  However, to get this you would have to eat at McDonalds
:      for the rest of your life.
:Or 
:   2. Every sexual experience you have would be bland at best.  Just
:      a series of manual actions from which you would derive no real
:      satisfaction.  However, in exchange you would be able to eat, for
:      free, at the finest restaurants in the world, at any time you want,
:      for the rest of your life.
: 
: Which would you chose?

I suppose if it were McDonalds, I could deal and definately choose the
good sex.  Of course, if it were 'hummus-r-us' i'd have a little bit
more of a problem....

then again, i've gone through long periods of my life where i've dealt
with bland food, bland sex, or both (not to mention the rather extended
self-inflicted period of no sex), so i doubt either would kill me.....

Becki

Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: becki@Ingres.COM (Rebecca E. Tants)
Subject: Re: Jealousy...
Reply-To: becki@squid.ingres.com (Rebecca E. Tants)
Organization: Ingres, The ASK Group
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: 7 Jan 93 18:08:45 GMT

Kateri/Mary Anne (moh2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote:
: I'm not going to get jealous.  I'm not.  I'm not.
: 
: Sigh....have you folks ever noticed that sometimes this stuff is a
: little bit harder to practice that it is in theory....?

Interesting - My new SO and I were discussing the polyamory issue last
night - he and i both came into this with secondary relationships (with
others who had primaries) and fell into being primaries to each other
VERY quickly.  so we were talking.  and i realized for the first time in
my adult life that i WASN'T jealous of anyone he was involved with.  I
was confident in my place in his life and the fact that if that changed
he'd tell me.  i didn't need to be jealous.  it was incredibly liberating.
my secondary (i just don't know better terms for  this stuff) had previously
made me VERY jealous when he announced that he'd fallen madly in love with 
someone else only a month and a half ago.  i realize now that that jealousy
came from not being secure (in that case rightly so) about my position in 
his life and my importance to him.  whereas with my new SO, it doesn't come
up.

Maybe you need to think a little in that area....

(btw - to finish the story a little, getting involved with my SO was the
best thing i've done for this secondary relationship - there's no more 
jealousy or bad feelings - we're both ecstatic for each other!)

Becki
From: ptd2@po.CWRU.Edu (Palmer T. Davis)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Time to Intro Finally.....
Date: 8 Jan 1993 05:32:19 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: ptd2@po.CWRU.Edu (Palmer T. Davis)
NNTP-Posting-Host: thor.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, mort@quads.uchicago.edu (Dave 'Mort' Mortman) says:
>
>	name's David Mortman, 5'8", medium length darkbrown/black hair
>getting loner, brown eyes, single but involved, and bi.

Mort!  Hey!  Welcome!

>Finally decided to post after meeting
>one of the founder's of alt.poly(Joe) over break hear in Chicago.

*sigh*  I seem to have missed out on Joe's US tour; if anyone reading
this runs into him before he leaves, say hi to him for me....

-- PTD --
-- 
Palmer T. Davis      ___
<ptd2@po.cwru.edu>   \X/   cthread.  cthread_fork().  Fork, thread, fork!
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: ucda@toontown.uucp (Chris Andersen)
Subject: Re: Jealousy...
Organization: The Department For Doing Departmental Things
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 16:35:25 GMT

In article <1993Jan7.022830.6473@midway.uchicago.edu> moh2@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>I'm not going to get jealous.  I'm not.  I'm not.
>
>
>
>Sigh....have you folks ever noticed that sometimes this stuff is a
>little bit harder to practice that it is in theory....?

Noticed?  I'm *living* it nearly every day of my life.
-- 
Chris Andersen (..!uunet!sequent!toontown!chris)

"...the only thing worse than being hurt is being bored." -- Daniel Mocsny
Organization: Fifth yr. senior, English, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 16:35:43 -0500 
From: "David F. McWade" <dm3o+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Grammar flame
	<43309@sdcc12.ucsd.edu>

John E. Clark writes:

>+Cannot we use the pronoun "they"/"their" instead of "sie"/"hir"?  Using
>+the latter group of pronouns actually makes what you are trying to say
>+much more difficult to read.
 
>This is not 'grammar', this is coinage and usage...
>(Personally, I think 'Sie und Hir' will go the way of 'He-cow' of
>the 19th lingual Carrie Nations).

You are right, of course.  This should give you an idea of the kind of
education
us English majors are getting at Carnegie Mellon...

i is a college student,
dave
From: wa137@sdcc12.ucsd.edu (john e. clark)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Grammar flame
Date: 11 Jan 93 05:34:36 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego

In article <sfHxKDO00VpCMnp0ho@andrew.cmu.edu> dm3o+@andrew.cmu.edu (David F. McWade) writes:
+Cannot we use the pronoun "they"/"their" instead of "sie"/"hir"?  Using
+the latter group of pronouns actually makes what you are trying to say
+much more difficult to read.

This is not 'grammar', this is coinage and usage...
(Personally, I think 'Sie und Hir' will go the way of 'He-cow' of
the 19th lingual Carrie Nations).
-- 

John Clark
jclark@ucsd.edu
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: BARANSKI@veamf1.nusc.navy.mil (Jim Baranski)
Subject: Re: Good Sex or Good Food 
Organization: Lanman Hill, Norwich CT
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 93 21:15:18 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.20

RE: good sex or good food; pick one...

What about oral sex?  Does it taste good? :-> Does that include mother's milk?
:-)

Definitely sex...

Jim.
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: john@n7kbt.rain.com (John Opalko)
Subject: Re: e-mail bridge to alt.p?
Organization: Two strange people in Forest Grove, OR
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 01:57:39 GMT

I guess it's time to ask again.  I was just about to fire up an anonymous
contact service for alt.p when Karl unveiled his godiva server.  I decided
not to bother because I felt his system was superior to mine.  Now that
godiva has gone by the wayside, is there still interest in an ACS for alt.p?

-- 
John Opalko			Somewhere in the foothills of the Coast Range,
john@n7kbt.rain.com		Forest Grove, Oregon, USA

		"Fast; cheap; correct.  Pick two."
From: thom@access.digex.com (The Elf-Lad)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Jealousy...
Date: 8 Jan 93 21:50:39 GMT
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt MD USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: access.digex.com

cascio@garnet.berkeley.edu (Jamais Cascio) writes:

>The second situation is one that is often brought up-- different rates
>of outside activity.  My wife is a beautiful young woman; I'm a guy.
>My wife gets a lot of outside attention (from both men and women-- she's
>bi), whereas it comes more slowly for me.  What I find is not that I'm
>terribly jealous of any particular person that she's fond of, but the
>mass of people.  It's not that I don't want her to have what she has,
>I just want to have it, too! Ach...

<giggle> Noted. My SO was very much in the closet when we met nearly
a year ago. Since then, I've encouraged him to meet new people, start
attending his local gay social functions, explore polyamory, etc.

Now all of a sudden he's highly in demand; though I'm adorably 
cute :), for some reason I don't often get the usual sorts of
expressions of sexual desire from other people, the expressions
he's elicited from several folks recently.

But it's ok. I'm happy at home on the computer, or reading, and able to
rest, and I'm happy because there are other people who see the positive
things in my SO that I do. 

-- 
Thom Watson                         elf-lad@access.digex.com
"What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?"
 --U.K.LeGuin                 S8 b g/+ l/- n+ o+ x a+ u v j++
From: Elise@p19.f341.n282.z1.tdkt.kksys.com (Elise)
Sender: FredGate@tdkt.kksys.com
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: "Cheating"
Date: Sun, 03 Jan 1993 22:42:00 -0600

 AL> lesbian-oriented enough. So I doubt there is an 
 AL> anti-male or anti-het message in this song; I think 
 AL> she's just talking about messed up relationships 
 AL> generically. 
 AL> I can't think of good examples of the kind of song you 
 AL> refer to (though they may exist), the best that comes 
 AL> to mind is the closing chorus of some humorous song: 
 AL> "I've given up steak for tofu and I know I can't go 
 AL> back" (might be "Piney Creek Woman" by Betsy Rose and 
 AL> Cathy Winter) 
 AL> Or Malvina Reynold's song "We don't need the men". 
 AL> (but she herself was het.) 
 AL> 
   Aw, c'mon!  How about that wonderful song by Two Nice Girls (they're a trio,
or maybe there's four now) with the chorus that goes:
 
   "I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer
    My life was so much simpler when I was sober and queer"
 
   ...and the neat lines about "There are certain thrills that lesbian love
simply cannot supply/Like paying for abortions from sperm gone awry."  We had a
serious many-thousand-person singalong going on that at the Winnipeg Folk
Festival a few years back.  It's way twisted sarcasm, and worth learning.

From: Elise@p19.f341.n282.z1.tdkt.kksys.com (Elise)
Sender: FredGate@tdkt.kksys.com
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: "Cheating"
Date: Sun, 03 Jan 1993 22:35:46 -0600

 D> In article <725616049.AA00762@tdkt.kksys.com> 
 D> Elise@p19.f341.n282.z1.tdkt.kksys.com (Elise) writes:
 D> > Some lesbians seem to have a deep fear that being 
 D> fucked will turn them
 D> > straight.

 D>   Sounds more like a male heterosexual fantasy than a 
 D> lesbian fear to me...

 D>  -- d

   Well, I do hesitate to mention it in a newsgroup with a high number of het
male readers, as it might feed some prejudices, but it is a topic that a number
of lovers of mine (lesbian) and I have discussed in depth, and I quote them. 
It's not a positive thing; they (and I) see it as more internalized homophobia,
and also internalized woman-oppression, which happens when even we disbelieve in
our own power to define ourselves sexually, or to hold the interest and heart of
another woman.
   Hope that clarifies. As I said in the original post, I do not consider sexual
identity something that can be washed away by a squirt of semen.
From: cyberoid@stein.u.washington.edu (Robert Jacobson)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Jealousy...
Date: 9 Jan 1993 18:21:40 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: stein.u.washington.edu


I'm not in a position to know (yet), but I suppose the issue of
jealousy, truth, etc., gets a bit harder when children are
involved.  Suspiciously few message posters mention this issue,
but I suppose that being left home to change diapers can dampen
one's enthusiasm for a mate's going out on external liaisons.

Or am I (pardon the pun) all wet?

Bob
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: mbr2@quads.uchicago.edu (Curious Of All Natures)
Subject: e-mail bridge to alt.p?
Reply-To: mbr2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: Universtiy of Chicago
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 22:17:19 GMT

I myself don't know of another way to post by e-mail, but I know that
someone's set up an e-mail posting demon for alt.callahans, so I'm sure
it would also be possible here.  Anyone know how this is done?


-Matt Ryan, connectivity is better than ice cream,
mb-ryan@uchicago.edu                Curious Of All Natures
==================================  ====================================
If I'm dreaming, never let me wake. You'll never see the end of the road
If I'm awake, never let me sleep.   When you're traveling with me.
               -old chinese fellow                        -Crowded House     
==================================  ====================================
From: thom@access.digex.com (The Elf-Lad)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Jealousy...
Date: 7 Jan 93 16:11:17 GMT
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt MD USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: access.digex.com

moh2@quads.uchicago.edu (Kateri/Mary Anne) writes:

>I'm not going to get jealous.  I'm not.  I'm not.

>Sigh....have you folks ever noticed that sometimes this stuff is a
>little bit harder to practice that it is in theory....?

My boyfriend and I, who met in February 1992, have a polyamorous
relationship, at least in theory. Neither of us have actually gone
out with anyone else since we met, though we've made it clear that
the option is available.

Tomorrow night, he has a date. I'm joyous. I'm really very happy
for him, and in fact I've pushed him to go through with it. Until
it actually occurred, I had no idea whether or not I'd be jealous.
I thought that I wouldn't, being the person I am, but you just never
know until the situation occurs. I'm pleased to say that I'm not in
the slightest jealous, and I'm actually very pleased. He's only been
out of the closet since I met him, and hasn't had much contact with
other gay men, so this is a pretty big step. We've noticed, though,
that even with other gay men, the concept of polyamority is tough
to explain. I don't think the other guy particularly approves--
he told my bf he's a "one-man man."

This whole experience has, in truth, made me feel closer to him than
I did before. (Hugs, hon!)

-- 
Thom, the Elf-Lad                   elf-lad@access.digex.com
"What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?"
 --U.K.LeGuin
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: sthor@ctp.com (Sarah Thornburg)
Subject: A word of thanks..
Organization: Cambridge Technology Partners
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 22:24:53 GMT

I just wanted to say a public thank you to everyone who responded to my
earlier post about the Mormon church.  I was too wrapped up in life to even
reply to most of you I think, if any!!! (I can't remember) before I took my
annual vacation, so I apologize.

For any curious about where my search has taken me?  It hasn't.  I'm still
in square 1.  Trying to avoid the situation.  I'm into polyamory.  I am
bisexual.  I am loved by God.  And that's that.  I probably will not
convert, but I probably will remain somewhat involved in the community.  I
will probably bring any future children I have up in their church, because I
really like a lot of the family values, etc.  But hope that I can
indoctrinate my children with more liberal attitudes than the church too.

But thanks for taking the time to respond.  i appreciate it.
And I am feeling much better than I was a month ago about it.  Or I don't
care anymore!

*Sarah*  :)
-- 
Sarah Thornburg                    | "Love that dirty water.... 
Cambridge Technology Partners      | Boston you're my home." 
sthor@ctp.com                      |   
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine)
Subject: Re: Good Sex or Good Food (was Re: "Cheating")
Organization: Don't blame me, I voted for Bill 'n' Opus
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 19:46:11 GMT

<grin>  The ProblemOlderWoman would probably be unhappy, but not
terribly surprised, to learn that it took no thought to decide in favor
of the food.....
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

Virtual anniversary: 6 days ago
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: moh2@quads.uchicago.edu (Kateri/Mary Anne)
Subject: Jealousy...
Reply-To: moh2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 02:28:30 GMT

I'm not going to get jealous.  I'm not.  I'm not.



Sigh....have you folks ever noticed that sometimes this stuff is a
little bit harder to practice that it is in theory....?

 - Kateri

-- 
i thank you God for most this amazing
day:  for the leaping greenly spirits of the trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes		 - e.e.cummings
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: h431@quads.uchicago.edu (heather e blair)
Subject: Re: mono with poly partners?
Reply-To: h431@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 20:05:28 GMT

In article <C0o81p.AGo.1@cs.cmu.edu> drake+@cs.cmu.edu (Drake) writes:

[I wrote:] 
>>So now I'm wondering, might I be a monogamous person who is happiest with
>>polyamorous partners?
>
>A girl I know has those feelings also.  She is seeking a monogamous
>sexual relationship while still having polyamory.  Just so you know
>that other people feel the same way.

Hmm, does that mean that she wants to have more than one lover but would
like them to have her as their one-and-only?  Is she then, the complement
(sp? - my speling sux) of the situation I proposed?  Or by "still having
polyamory", does this mean a basically monogamous relationship that is
"open"?



-- 

- Heather Blair       h431@midway.uchicago.edu
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: apl@world.std.com (Anthony P Lawrence)
Subject: Re: Good Sex or Good Food (was Re: "Cheating")
Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 00:26:00 GMT

I'm a guy who lived on peanut butter sandwiches (breakfast, lunch
and dinner) for 4 years.

Bland food? McDonalds?  No problem.  I'll choose sex.  But if it's
Roy Rogers, I've gotta think about it.

		Tony   apl@world.std.com

Lawrence & Clark, Inc		(617) 762-0707	(206) 323-2864
Xenix/Unix support,etc 	 	 Boston		 Seattle
       Kevin Clark is embarrassed by most of what I say.
From: mort@quads.uchicago.edu (Dave 'Mort' Mortman)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Time to Intro Finally.....
Date: 7 Jan 93 23:02:29 GMT
Reply-To: mort@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago

Howdy folks,

	name's David Mortman, 5'8", medium length darkbrown/black hair
getting loner, brown eyes, single but involved, and bi. I've been
reading and lurking since post #1. Finally decided to post after meeting
one of the founder's of alt.poly(Joe) over break hear in Chicago.
Until later.

David "Mort" Mortman				      mort@midway.uchicago.edu
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Education is like sex, when it's good, it's very very good, and when it's bad,
it's better than nothing  -unattributed
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no
longer be fanatasies - Fran Lebowitz
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Choices...
From: patrickm@netlink.cts.com (Patrick McKinnion)
Date: Fri, 08 Jan 93 00:00:42 PST
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

   People -
   re a choice between a life with good sex and bland food, and bland sex 
& good food, my choice would be for the first.    I can tollerate blah 
food, and have in the past.   But blah sex always leaves me feeling 
empty, alone, and failed.   I don't think I could tollerate that !
   Love making is far more than just exercise, but a celebration of 
emotions.    Food, while nessasary, can't provide that.
   My choice, for what it's worth.....   :)
            - Patrick

               Patrickm@netlink.cts.com

--                    
INTERNET:  patrickm@netlink.cts.com (Patrick McKinnion)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!patrickm
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: ucda@toontown.uucp (Chris Andersen)
Subject: Good Sex or Good Food (was Re: "Cheating")
Organization: The Department For Doing Departmental Things
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 16:54:45 GMT


Here's a little intellectual exercise which I think might illustrate
something of what I've been trying to say: given the choice between
a life filled with good sex or a life filled with good food, but not
both, which would you chose?

To be more specific, your choices are:

  1. Every sexual experience you have from this point on will be as
     good as it can be.  It could be compared to a spiritual experience
     everytime.  However, to get this you would have to eat at McDonalds
     for the rest of your life.

  2. Every sexual experience you have would be bland at best.  Just
     a series of manual actions from which you would derive no real
     satisfaction.  However, in exchange you would be able to eat, for
     free, at the finest restaurants in the world, at any time you want,
     for the rest of your life.

Both of these assume that your desire for the thing you give up (good sex
or good food) would still continue, even though you could never satisfy it.

Which would you chose?


(Yes, I know this is an artificial choice.  But just play by the rules
and seriously think about which one you would choose.)
-- 
Chris Andersen (..!uunet!sequent!toontown!chris)

"...the only thing worse than being hurt is being bored." -- Daniel Mocsny
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: Grammar flame
Date: 12 Jan 93 01:44:25 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

"David F. McWade" <dm3o+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
|> 
|> Cannot we use the pronoun "they"/"their" instead of "sie"/"hir"?  Using
|> the latter group of pronouns actually makes what you are trying to say
|> much more difficult to read.
|> 
|> Using the plural in the singular is becoming much more commonplace anyway.

In alt.polyamory it could become confusing if one used "they/their" to
refer to a single person. Readers might not be sure whether the situation 
being discussed involved one person or several.

--
Stef                 In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a 
stef@apple.com       sentence with words in the proper order then 
                     why can't he?                         /fortune
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
From: kamal@specialix.co.uk (Kamal Mortoza)
Subject: Re: Choices...
Organization: Specialix International, London
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 17:06:35 GMT

patrickm@netlink.cts.com (Patrick McKinnion) writes:

>   People -
>   re a choice between a life with good sex and bland food, and bland sex 
>& good food, my choice would be for the first.    I can tollerate blah 
>food, and have in the past.   But blah sex always leaves me feeling 
>empty, alone, and failed.   I don't think I could tollerate that !
>   Love making is far more than just exercise, but a celebration of 
>emotions.    Food, while nessasary, can't provide that.
>   My choice, for what it's worth.....   :)
>            - Patrick

Well - my diet for the past five months has consisted of Tuna, plain pasta,
egg-whites, plain jacket potatoes, undressed salads, etc. My sex life has
been pretty blah lately too. I think I've been short-changed or something..:).

Kamal

>               Patrickm@netlink.cts.com

>--                    
>INTERNET:  patrickm@netlink.cts.com (Patrick McKinnion)
>UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!patrickm
>NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
-- 


=============================================================================
			|