From: mh5r+@andrew.cmu.edu (Mary Hart)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Inform teacher of problems?
Date: 6 Sep 92 20:05:49 GMT
Article-I.D.: andrew.geehIR600VAxQ7H9F3
	<65392@cup.portal.com>
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

My 8 year old son has had the opportunity to go to a school for 1st and
2nd grade that I thought was a pretty extraordinary place.  It is an
open school, with small (10-12 kids) classes, lots of hands-on
activities, individual attention, working at one's own pace,  a lot of
tolerance for children who are other than "average", and a lot of
positive feedback for the kids.

I would have liked the school no matter what, but it turned out to be a
particularly good fit for my son.  Since he always had trouble sitting
still, I thought that if he went to a more traditional school, he would
literally be labeled a behavior problem for those sorts of behaviors,
and that things would go downhill from there.  He also is very bright,
but his capabilities were uneven- good in math/science/social studies
(as much as 10 years above grade level, according to his CAT tests), but
having problems with reading and with the fine motor skills needed for
writing.  The school did a good job challenging him in some areas, he
got special help in reading via the county, he loved school and felt
good about himself.

It began to be obvious that there was probably some sort of problem that
we needed to know more about that was causing him to have reading
writing problems, so he went for testing this summer.  The psychiatrist
who did the testing found three problems: some sort of learning
disability (further testing was recommended to figure out exactly what
it was) that was causing him to have problems with reading and writing,
ADHD, and Tourette's syndrome.  The first two I expected; the third was
a complete shock, but actually explained a lot for me. (Tourette's is a
disease in which the child or adult exhibits various kinds of tic-like
behaviors; verbal and/or motor.)  The effect  of this on me is that I'm
encouraged to cut him a little more slack; there is less of his behavior
that is under his control than I had previously thought.  I know we can
have some limited gains by employing behavior modification techniques
and emphasizing the positive; that won't take care of everything,
though, and I know that we don't want to punish those behaviors that are
out of his control.

Anyway, my almost-worst nightmare has come true; he can't return to the
school.  My son's father, from whom I'm separated, took us to court in
order to transfer my son to the public school that was local for him. 
If we had actually seen the judge, it probably wouldn't have been
allowed.  However, his father subpoenaed the principal of my son's (old)
school to court, which incensed her so that she refused to have him back
in the school.  (I was very disappointed in her response, and she will
not reconsider.)

So now my son is starting school in a traditional classroom with 28
kids.  He's back to the beginning of the third grade math book.  But
that's not what concerns me most.  I've always felt that my son would
have trouble managing in a traditional, highly structured class because
of his inability to sit still (which I now know has multiple causes.) 
The psychiatrist who evaluated him also felt that if he switched
schools, he's end up in an LD class or class for kids with emotional
problems.  I've also recently heard a nightmare story about a child with
problems similar to my son's, different school but same school district,
whose teachers insisted that the child was a "behavior problem" with the
end result being that the boy is in an LD class and has very low self
esteem because of the teachers' handling of him.

So I'm not sure what's going to happen.  I've tried to be positive for
my son's sake; I've gone and met the teacher and the principal; I'm
going to volunteer in the school (not in my son's classroom).  What I
haven't figured out is whether to share the evaluation report with the
teacher.  My feeling is that, without an understanding of what's going
on, the teacher is going to come down hard on him (it's hard for me
sometimes, and I know what's going on!)    All the feedback that I've
gotten from everybody, though, is that I should not.  The principal,
with whom I did share the report, insisted that I not tell the teacher,
as my son would then be "labeled" as having certain problems, when
maybe, if he just went into class without the teacher expecting any
unusual behavior, he would do just fine.  (I don't think that's what's
going to happen.)  So I'm really undecided about whether to let the
teacher know that certain problems have been identified, and they are
things that are largely out of my son's control, or wait and see (but
what's going to happen to him while we wait and see what happens?  And
what if he does  become a "behavior problem"?)

Thanks for any ideas-

Mary Hart
mh5r+@andrew.cmu.edu