From: mece21x@rosie.uh.edu (Yesudas, Michael)
Subject: Re: Dowry
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Houston
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 05:20:00 GMT

In article <1992Oct6.210328.14377@adx.adelphi.edu>, dm6674f90@auvax1.adelphi.edu writes...
>Namaskaram ("I'm back!" <--- Arnold alias "Conan the Republican")!
>years. He is not a professional in the sense that he doesn't hold
>a full-time office job. He earns his living as a dance/arts teacher
>and choreographer, teaching resident Malayalees in the U.S. in various
>arts like Bharatha Natyam, Kuchipudi and other numerous South Indian
>Dance forms. Now his daughter, who has never come to the U.S. and is
>currently living in Trivandrum area, is about to get married. The
>daughter based on various astrological/puranic etc. reasons must be married
>to a widower as marriage to any one who is not a widower might negatively
>affect the course of her life.

GETTING MARRIED TO A WIDOWER ITSELF IS NEGATIVE ENOUGH (Unless it is by
free choice) This is called SCREWING UP someone's life basing it on 
superstitions.


> The father is expected to pay a
>minimum 3-lakh rupees dowry.

For a widower??

> 
>	My questions are :
> 
>	1. Why is it that a man who is obviously earning such a small
>	income in the States is asked to pay such a sum? I know
>	personally that he is barely ekking out an existence and that
>	he is greatly worried about his daughter's marriage. He has
>	no idea where he is going to get that kind of money.
> 
>	2. Do people in Kerala really think that just by getting across
>	the seas to the U.S. one is able to earn huge sums of riches
>	and wealth? Are they so blind as to think that there are no living
>	expenses here in the States?
> 
>	3. Is this marriage only to widowers really necessary? Is there
>	really danger for her if she were to marry her someone who is not
>	a widower? 
> 

If facts are as accurate as they are, the astrologer can take a walk. All you
need is a bare minimum courage to take the first step.

>	4. Call me naive, but is this 3 lakh rupees the average
>	amount expected as dowry in Kerala?

There cannot be an average estimate for this. From hearsays and rumors my
experience says it is around 2 to 3 lakhs.

> 
>	5. Can somebody please give me some serious suggestions as to
>	how I can help this poor old fellow out?
> 

I wish I could think of something practical and realistic. But believe me
chances are high that a solution may not exist at all

>Responses to any or all of my questions would be appreciated as I would like
>to provide to myself and to my friend the answers as to what makes this
>dowry thing so ugly.

Nothing but us make the dowry thing. And it could be used for the definition
of ugly.

> 
>						Entha pinne,
>							Njan,
>							Dileep
>	
O, veruthe,
						------	 	 
>********************************************************************************
>* DILEEP MAKKUNI                        |"Don't try to do it, do it!"          *
>********************************************************************************
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|  Michael Yesudas         |  The control of the means of production   |
|  Mechanical Engineering  |  of wealth is the absolute control of     |
|  University of Houston   |  human life itself                        |
|  mece21x@jetson.uh.edu   |                    --   Hilaire Belloc    |
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Newsgroups: alt.culture.kerala