HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: The_Tea_Which_Will_Drink_You@ed.ac.uk (Ob Tea)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Date: 7 Oct 92 18:44:30 GMT
Reply-To: The_Tea_Which_Will_Drink_You@ed.ac.uk (Ob Tea)
Organization: The Exploding Hot Drink

In article <BvrKwD.Kpr@dcs.ed.ac.uk> Monsieur Not Al, Cordon Bleu Masterchef writes:
> 
> Spaghetti Surprise
> ------------------

I thought the recipe contest had finished. Here is a revised version of a
recipe I didn't post yesterday but some people has read nevertheless.

Enjoy!

Spider Flapjack With Green Mould Topping
------ -------- ---- ----- ----- -------

Ingredients:

2 Flapjacks.
1 JCMB Giant Spider, dead and crushed.
Chicken Stock.

Method:

Take one flapjack, rinse thoroughly and leave wet. Deposit in a dark
corner of your office and forget about it. A good place for that is
the "Outgoing mail" tray, where nobody will touch it.

Wait one year. You can safely use this time for other jobs, like
reading news.

After one year, take the flapjack, scrape off any remaining edible bits,
and put in a food processor with the chicken stock. Mix well, puree or
do whatever you fill like doing.

Take the spider, and leave it on the worktop. When it starts moving, kill
it a second time. Repeat as needed. When you are positive that the spider
is dead, put in the food processor with the rest of the thing and mix well.
Pour the results on the second flapjack.

Serving suggestion:

Wrapped in clingfilm, sold at 42p.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, that was a joke. Here's the real recipe.

Claudio's Tea
--------- ---

Ingredients:

1 recipe quantity Spider Flapjack With Green Mould Topping
1 pint boiling water

Method:

Powder the Spider Flapjack With Green Mould Topping. Pour boiling
water over it. Stir well.

Serving suggestion:

In a cup.

--
The ObTea
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Meeting Rah-Rahs
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Distribution: alt
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 92 20:20:21 GMT

Something possessed me to look at the path that Geoff's posting had taken
in order to get to me here.  The damn thing went all the way to German and
Austria before making it back to the site here, a mere 3 states away from
California!

Peeve:  That some lousy European computer gets mail before mine does.
        (Probably even a 'Merkin computer, that one in .de!)
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Freshers
Keywords: Lala la, lala lala, lala la, lala lalaaa
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 22:44:08 GMT

In <+sgp57p@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:

[re: Babs]

>Is she still *alive*? She hasn't posted since mid-summer. She wasn't killed
>by a large rock falling off a shelf or anything?

I have been concerned about her absence here.  And as I read the different
recipes posted here I started to wonder where Alex "The Lemming" Elliot
has scurried off to.
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Freshers
Date: 12 Oct 1992 17:46:38 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: moccasin.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <26794@castle.ed.ac.uk> tjc@castle.ed.ac.uk (A J Cunningham) writes:
>
>suspect that some of Mike's rantings might be right on the mark. This is
>very worrying and is keeping me awake at nights. 
>
>!Peeve: Any book by Hunter S. Thompson or P. J. O'Rourke.

!Peeve: Any book by Hunter S. Thompson, P. J. O'Rourke, or Cactus Ed Abbey.

Born peevers all.  They missed their shot at the bullseye but
we must salute them for what they might have been.

c
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Chunderation
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 14:36:59 GMT

In article <ldjtsoINNbdk@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
>(Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>
>>"less than a restaurant owner"?  
>
>"You're something *other* than a restaurant owner."
>
>Sheesh.
>

"Sheesh"?  For someone who makes such a fuss about one little dropped "o",
you sure get upset when someone calls you on a minor semantic point.  You
never struck me as the dishes-it-out-but-can't-take-it-type.  Please
prove to me that you aren't.

>>But Andy, honey, it seems that my posts make YOUR stomach churdle, YOUR
>>temples throb, YOUR bunions ache and YOUR teeth grind.  
>
>Exactly.  That's why I write about it here.
>

So what's your complaint?

>
>What a shameless flirt you are.
>

I ne'er pretended to be aught else.  Besides I sort of view those sweet little
flames of yours as being the electronic equivalent of the snowballs that Calvin
is always lobbing at Susie Perkins.

I think it's sweet, really I do.....

Hugs 'n' Kisses,

Jenny

-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Chunderation
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Date: 13 Oct 92 06:07:21 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Matthew J. Henken) writes:
+ I write:
+>(Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
+>>>Ok, so you're more than a student.  You're still less than a
+>>>restaraunt owner, which was my point.
+>
+>>"less than a restaurant owner"?  
+>
+>"You're something *other* than a restaurant owner."
+>
+>Sheesh.
+
+You were right the first time.  

I know.  I wasn't correcting myself.  I was phrasing it in terms
that could easily be understood by even the simplest readers.  The
"sheesh" was an attempt to make that clear.

Sheesh.

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
  What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth?  Judging from
  realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a 
  common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
                                                 -- Dave Barry
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Rewriting History
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 19:38:33 GMT

In <1992Oct9.065727.14197@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:

>	ObStory: a great aunt of mine spent several years in a Mexican
>jail for smuggling ammunition through the country for some revolution.
>Eventually, she was released.

I must admit, that sounds like a great aunt to me!

Woe be unto me.  My parking lot is being snarfed up by the stupid pack-
journalists of the American popular media.  Satellite trucks, camera
trucks, production trucks, all sorts of shit.  It won't be gone until
sometime on Wednesday.
--
"Yes, he really said that!"
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:15642 alt.politics.correct:5686 talk.religion.misc:18285
From: jk@panix.com (Jim Kalb)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.politics.correct,talk.religion.misc
Subject: Re: Esoteric Skinhead O'Connor (Was stuff about Mac D's)
Date: 14 Oct 92 14:36:03 GMT
Organization: Institute for the Human Sciences

In <92282.110029SECBH@CUNYVM.BITNET> <SECBH@CUNYVM.BITNET> writes:

>In regard to Sinead O'Connor's tearing up the Roman Pontiff's picture
>in television:  The fact is that the pope claims to be the head of state
>of a foreign country - as well as a religious leader - he and his
>outraged followers had better get used to the fact that in this day
>and age his secular position alone makes him fair game . . .

Don't understand -- are you saying that S. O'C. tore up the Pope's
picture because of something the Pope had done in his capacity of head
of state?  What could that possibly have been?
-- 
    Jim Kalb (jk@panix.com)
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Bike peeves
Date: 16 Oct 92 08:27:26 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <1bi6pfINN5qv@agate.berkeley.edu>, curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

> Bah.  Mountain bikes are for weenies.
> 
> This is not the expression of some arbitrary and infantile prejudice of
> mine, but a scientifically proven fact.
> 
> The Mountain Bike, you see, is the perfect '90s example of a
> Consumer Trend Run Amuck.  About ten years ago, some mentally
> disadvantaged folks in the High Parts (tm) decided that, for
> whatever ungodly reason, they'd like to be able to climb
> mountains on a bicycle.  

!Peeve: Watching these people try to take on the Cabbot Trail, a trail in the
Cape Breton Highlands with hills so steep *CARS* have trouble cresting the 
hills; I'm pretty sure even a Range Rover would have serious trouble. They
take on the Cabbot Trail, and the Cabbot Trail usually wins.  



Mike
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Chez Nips Announce a birthday party
Date: 9 Oct 92 15:07:31 GMT
Organization: Chez Nips, Your First Choice for dining in Peevton

It is my pleasure as Chef to announce a party, held in honour
of our beloved Booter. As she apparantly loves Bunnies, we
have selected a special RabbitFest menu.

                   Lapin Tartare
           
               Provided prechopped by our supplier,
               Iowa Dan the Combine Man, this savoury
               dish features fine ground rabbit, lovingly
               molded into lovely scenes of destruction.
               Served with Chipped Pheasant and a lovely
               Mayonaise made according to our special recipe.

                   Mr Bun en Flagrante Delectable

               Two fine plump rabbits, guaranteed lead-shot
               free (we used steel shot to ensure maximum
               enjoyment), and roasted with a crust of fine
               herbs. Re-dressed in their fur, the two 
               happy bunnies will be presented in tableaux,
               doing what bunnies do best.

                   Rabbit Stew

               We ran out of bunnies, so Geoff has killed
               his officemate, and we'll use her instead.
               We are sorry for this inconvenience, but
               hasten to assure you that seasonings and
               recipe have been carefully adjusted.
               "Tastes just like chicken", really.

                   Cream of Rabbit.

               Served with shaved chocolate, the whipped
               and sugared cream is a light finish to your
               perfect meal.

         Dancing and liberal bashing to follow

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Re: Pained Whale?
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 11:26:50 GMT

>Peeve:  Too many damn posts about the structure and workings of Peevetown.
>       Get a grip.  It's a cute joke, for about 17 seconds.
>
>Peeve:  Somehow, I've become some sort of net.cop.  Christ.

Yeah, really.  When I'm scanning through a newsgroup and find something
which doesn't interest me (recipes), I immediately skip to the next
article.  I find the Peevetown fantasy a useful tool to poke fun
at the conservativemachokillkillkill mindset which is so often
displayed here.  If you don't like Peevetown articles, then skip them.
Other wise f**K off and die.

Peeve:  Berkely net cops, who after studying their asses off for
6 years find the only job they can get is tongue flossing the
butt crack of a Stanford or Harvard mba.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Story: choose the proper weapon for the job
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 11:31:01 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.044027.2097@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian) writes:

>
>	Once again, Russ has saved the day through the proper use of
>high explosives.  Thanks, Russ.  I was so looking forward to quaffing
>one of Jenny's special drinks, too.  It would have been a crying shame
>to have been forced to drink in such close proximity to liberals.
>

Okay, that's it.  I've decided to enforce a strict "If you eat here,
you must do at least one jell-o shot" rule.  Of course, I won't use
Jell-o, I'll use Knox gelatin, as Jell-o contains no animal by-products.

Hopefully, the idea of getting drunk off of congealed vodka that was once part
of a living, breathing cretaure will be enough to keep them damned bunnyhuggers
out of here.
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: Nominations are in order (was Story: choose the proper weapon for the job)
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 92 14:07:24 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203

In article <Bvv3uC.4n9@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:

>Jenny G proprietoress of Peevetown's favorite greasy spoon, where you can  
>        pick up your copy of the Peevetown Dispatch, or have some of Chef
>        Charles' Bunny Surprise.  Drop in, y'all here.

Sometimes called "The Dahmer Special". The chief suprize about
Bunny Suprize is the absence of any rabbit or rabbit-products
inside.

Regards, Chef Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 92 18:17:31 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <mhart.719167214@blackjack> mhart@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
>In <92Oct15.153606.23253@acs.ucalgary.ca> parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr) writes:
>
>>None of them had double jointed hips. Are double jointed hips as
>>interesting as I suspect they could be, Michael?
>
>If you can visualize as depravely (depravidely?) as I, than you may 
>have a proper appreciation of the possibilities.
>
>Well, let's just say that the presence of those double jointed hips
>made certain positions, um, interesting, and allowed the development
>of variations of those positions which had previously been 
>unattainable.  As a teaser, she could lay flat on her back, and
>put her feet flat on the wall behind her, one foot on each side of 
>her head.

Mikey, this is just *flexibility*...Which is desirable indeed,
but hardly doublejointedness. I think we need a better example.

Or shall I simply (and for the first time) shout:

GIF GIF GIF!

No point really. Can't use them anyway...

Regards, Charles
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: (Im)personal stereos
Date: 13 Oct 92 15:53:54 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <OKES.92Oct12140758@SunLab44.essex.ac.uk> okes@essex.ac.uk (Oke S) 
writes:

>Peeve: the guy two machines away from me has a personal stereo. Unfortunately
>he also has an impressive set of headphones which are at this moment hanging
>round his neck as he is being shown how to play xpilot. This, however, does
>not count as a valid reason for him to turn the bloody thing off. 


Personal stereos, known generically in the Real World as "Walkmen," 
regardless of brand, are in general a Good Idea.  But I encounter more
and more people who defeat the purpose of this marvelous invention
by cranking the volume up to a point that I'd assume would be painful
to the user, and is certainly annoying and distracting to people nearby.

There's no accounting for taste, of course (that's "De gustibus non est
disputandum," Tim), but I'm at a loss to understand why anyone would
want to inflict such aural assault on himself -- particularly while
trying to read, or to perform some other task that requires at least token
concentration.  I see a fair number of these people in bookstores,
interestingly.  I also encounter quite a few idiots wearing the things
while riding bicycles or driving cars.  But the All-Time Hall Of Famer
was a guy I saw walking along the railroad tracks in downtown Mountain
View while listening to a Walkman.  The guy has probably been Darwinized
by now, of course.


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,rec.hunting
From: fiddler@concertina.Eng.Sun.COM (steve hix)
Subject: Re: Story: choose the proper weapon for the job
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
Date: 7 Oct 92 09:43:15 CDT
Originator: hunting@osnome.che.wisc.edu
Keywords: elephant, HE, m203

In article <1992Oct6.084200.28006@doug.cae.wisc.edu> dnewcomb@whale.st.usm.edu (Donald R. Newcomb) writes:
>In article <1992Oct5.075404.9512@doug.cae.wisc.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>>	A friend of mine was a Force Recon Marine during the Vietnam war.
>>During this time period, his company was ordered to serve as instructors
>> [...snip!...]
>>Marines and squad members.  The 5.56 NATO round the M16 uses is just
>>not considered heavy enough for hunting elephants.
>
>First, in Vietnam the round would not have been 5.56 NATO as that round,
>based on the SS109, was not adopted by NATO until years after the Vietnam
>War ended. 

On the other hand, the .223 used in the M16 (even then...) is as close
to the NATO 5.56 as makes no never-mind.

>Second, you would be surprised how small a round can kill an
>elephant. One of the most popular calibers used by commercial elephant
>hunters in Africa was the 6.5 mm Dutch Manlicher. This round is about
>the same as the 6.5 Carcano or 6.5x54 Manlicher Schoneauer (sp?). 

What's the weight of the 6.5DM slug?  A 6.5x54 is also going to have a
lot more charge behind it than the 5.56x45, isn't it?

The 6.5mm is about .256".  Something like a .243 is supposed to have a
lot more punch than a .223 for hunting, no?  (And a number of states
don't allow .223 for deer hunting.)

>The round was used for "brain shots" to assure a quick and humane dispatch.
>It was true, however, that the hunter would have a double barrel 
>elepahant gun ready, just in case.

In the Marine's case, they just went for the elephant gun first.  :}

--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Of making many books there is no end...  |  What's wrong with chasing 
                       -- Eccl. 12:12    |  nebulae till 3 am?  |-(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Xref: sparky alt.peeves:15320 misc.misc:3474
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,misc.misc
Subject: Re: Japanese Tourists ate my building.
Date: 8 Oct 92 21:37:51 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves,misc.misc
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



In article <BvtF6L.KKF@encore.com> dlwilson@fenix.encore.com (David L Wilson) writes:

mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Bones") writes :

>>   One of these days I am
>>   going to go on a rampage and start shooting people who say "filming" when
>>   they are referring to videotape.

>    But it'll have to wait, because you're still busy rubbing out the
>people who ask for a `head of cabbage' in the greengrocer's.  

What's wrong with that?  You mean you can have a head of lettuce, but 
not a head of cabbage?  What else would you call a unit of cabbage? 
A pair of cabbage?  A bunch of cabbage?  A lid of cabbage?


>And don't forget those illiterates who say "nucular".  Die rat bastard!!

There ya go.  And also the ones who say "reeletter" and "asterick."


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Hare Triggers
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 19:36:02 GMT

In article <17744@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:

>
>By the way, tomorrow is my birthday, so be nice to me.
>
>

All right, this is an official announcement of the new Bunnyhugging section
of the Peevetown Inn.  This operates sopmewhat like a smoking section.  Due to
pressure from people with habits & beliefs that offensive to most thinking
people (smoking or bunnyhugging), we open a section of the establishment in
which they can engage in their foul practices (puffing on Marlboros or eating
meals which have no FUCKING meat in them), without disturbing the other patrons

However, since I've decided that Elaine is the only bunnyhugger I like, this
section only seats one. and that one seat is on permanent reserve for Booter.

In Booter we trust, all others eat meat - The Peevetown Inn Motto




-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is Jenny Gutbezahl @ Univ. of Mass, Amherst
****************************************************************************
These opinions are all mine.  Flame all you want, I'll make more
From: 01sybok@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Religion & Such
Date: 12 Oct 92 11:41:47 GMT
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

hosch2263@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) writes:
>>cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:
>> 
>>>
If it hadn't been for him, Christ would have probably been
>>>just another little-known philosopher in a small corner of the world.
>>>
> 
>         This is true enough.  If you had told the Romans or the Greek that
> writings from a second rate hill tribe (Hebrews) were going to form the basis
> for the world's major religion, they would have called you crazy.

Before or after they threw you to the lions?

>  That's how Martin Luther got into religion. His 'miraculous' experience
> was with a bolt of lightning.

I imagine he spent the rest of his life waiting for the other show to drop.

>         Please tell the Roman Catholics this.  I grew up one, and like most of
> them, quit when I got older.  

Easy club to get out of, eh?

Catholic schools are intolerant and nothing short
> of brainwashing.  And if you think that's bad, you should be at a Roman
> Catholic wedding.
> 

Or a Roman Catholic funeral "Why are you crying? You should be HAPPY god
hauled your father's/mother's/friend's ass up to heaven!"


Mike