HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: bell-peter@yale.edu (Peter Bell)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: john hiatt
Date: 13 Dec 1992 13:26:36 -0500
Organization: Yale University Science & Engineering UNIX(tm), New Haven, CT 06520-2158
NNTP-Posting-Host: minerva.cis.yale.edu

here are the christams carols I'm particularly fond of this season....

Well, Harry had a good job working for the secret service
He had a wife and kids at home who made him awful nervous
He'd never done a damn thing you could call experimental
And he had this aching feeling that his life was accidental

So one day he burned his pinstripe suit and leather shoulder holster
He snapped a polaroid and made a giant WANTED poster
He took it to the print shop and ordered up a thousand flyers
Then he walked next door to the laundromat and blew his brains out in a dryer

And the tag on his toe read Death by Misadventure
Ain't that some way to go?  Death by Misadventure

Now Harry's wife Estella took the matter rather lightly
She could have cried and cried but then her looks might've come unsightly
So she thought about her wardrobe and how much it was outdated
And how this trumped up family thing was vastly overrated

The kids both turned against her and took to drugs and stealing
Some junkie killed them both for two dime bags that they were dealing
And sitting home alone one night disgusted by it all
She blew the sole survivor off with ninety nembutal

And the tag on her toe read Death by Misadventure
Ain't that some way to go?  Death by Misadventure

(death by misadventure)

It was champagne parties and sweet love scenes
Now it's warm beer at midnight, and girlie magazines
I stack the empty cans up like a freshman in school
It's the kind of thing you're into when you ain't nobody's fool

I got my socks in the oven, something's growing in the sink
I can't begin to face the day without a couple of drinks
Ain't had a decent meal since you made me cry
Well I used to be your lover but now I don't even try..
(I don't even try)

When you're paper thin, yeah, read all about it
When you were out of luck, well, luck was doin' alright
Now you're paper thin, yeah, they can see right through ya
You just cut your little finger on the edge of the night
(chorus from paper thin)

Happy Holidays, to one and all;  God bless us, every one

Peter
bell@minerva.cis.yale.edu
From: tjones@orville.psu.edu (Brain Drain)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: ...oops ( was Re: "methods" list
Date: 14 Dec 92 03:39:33 GMT
Organization: The Leaking Spinal Fluid Co.

In article <1992Dec14.031642.20239@udel.edu> tjones@orville.psu.edu (Brain Drain) writes:
>heh... then kali could get her head on a silver platter.
>
figured id correct this now before i get mail about it... i misread her .sig:
thought it said head, not heart.  i *REALLY* need to get my eyes checked or
something.  

feh.
-- 
Thomas H Jones II                             "Hmm... that wasn't at all what I
      aka.	                                            expected." --me
	thj@csn.org or  tjones@orville.psu.edu or tjones@vivaldi.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe)
Subject: Re: Kavorkian (sp?) in the News
Organization: Pegasus,  Honolulu
Distribution: world,local
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 92 09:06:39 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.052951.18948@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu> vance@lpl.arizona.edu (Vance Haemmerle x4021) writes:
>In article <1992Dec15.191650.24140@pegasus.com> alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe) writes:
>>I see that Kavorkian assisted two more people in the past few days..
>>and I think they were women..in fact..I think all of his "assists"
>>have been women..interesting..i mean that they have only been women.
>>
>
>  Probably because men would like to do it themselves.
>
>--
>Vance Haemmerle                         vance%toyvax@arizona.edu
>Tucson, AZ                             vance@vips.lpl.arizona.edu
>          * It's my party and I'll die if I want to *

Interesting..i saw an interview after I commented on this and a reporter
asked him the same question..he said it was just a coincidence..two men
had arranged for him to assist..but they died naturally..Kevorkian..said
it had been his experience that women seemed more honest about their
feelings and wishes..


-- 
**************************************************************************
"I don't ask for much..just your heart on a silver platter;-)"
						-Kali
**************************************************************************
From: megazone@obsidian.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Mark, we could use the hanging height list about now...
Date: 14 Dec 1992 10:58:26 GMT
Organization: WPI USAF -- United Society of Animation Fans
NNTP-Posting-Host: obsidian.wpi.edu

In article <1992Dec14.031642.20239@udel.edu> tjones@orville.psu.edu (Brain Drain) writes:
>as this distance is dependent on hangee's mass and tissue strength, the
>optimal drop mentioned for #2 is only an average.  see the specific equations
>that apply to determine your optimum.  after all, if you dont want it to be

The proper drop heights have been posted here in the past, unfortunately I
didn't save them.... Mark, do you still have them kicking about? I only have
the Foucault's Pendulum bit from the novel....

###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################
From: pacomius@maths.uwa.oz.au (Chris Smith (with the beard))
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: famous suicides
Date: 16 Dec 1992 10:33:06 GMT
Organization: The University of Western Australia
NNTP-Posting-Host: madvax.maths.uwa.oz.au

cjones@physci.ucla.edu (Chad Jones) writes:

>Alan Turing, who was instrumental in cracking the Nazi's codes in WWII,
>was sentenced to hormone therapy for his homosexuality.  This is not the
>most pleasant thing to go through, and he couldn't handle what it was
>doing to him.  So he ate a cyanide-laced apple.

Great concept, how about cyanide-laced toffee apples

Where can I get some of that cool CN stuff ?

Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: EUCLID@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu
Subject: a parody
Organization: C.C.S.O.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 21:22:16 GMT

[Shamelessly reproduced without permission from Z magazine. Author is James
R. Leong]
 
Award-winning novelists Ollie North & Marla Maples bring you the Epic Novel of
the Future.  The Book many people are calling the Sequel to the New Testament!
 
CAPITALISM  THE FINAL FRONTIER
 
It is 2029 A.D.  President Dan Quayle serves his Seventh term as President of
the United Free Trade Zones of America.  It is a World created in Quayle's
image.  Wholesome, privately owned, and Free of the dreaded Liberal Cultural
Elite!  Every man, woman, and child may be unemployed, but proudly owns a copy
of William F. Buckley's controversial essay "In Search of Anti-Semitism".  It's
the Society we've longed for!  Perhaps it's the End of History!
 
But now, shocking revelations that Ayn Rand was actually a welfare bum, leave
Quayle in deep despair.  Swallowing a lethal overdose of Gore Vidal Brain
Pills(tm), an Angel of the Lord appears, and says unto him "Danforth, thou hast
gained the whole world and many men hath profited.  But thou hast not conquered
All of God's domain!"  Quayle looks to the stars above and giggles for forty
days and forty nights.  "This is enough to shake a man out of his natural
moronic stupor!" he might have thought, if he only had a brain.  Quayle's
religious advisors meet at the White House, to give God the ultimatum: Hand
over the entire Universe to private enterprise or else!  And God said "Or else
what?"  Quayle replies "Or else I'll press the Button and Send thy people home!
"  It's the Oral Roberts routine! The Ultimate Showdown!  Will God render unto
Caesar what ain't his?  Will President Quayle 'Press the Button' if God doesn't
comply?  Will Pat Robertson have to get rid of God since God is a leftist-
Buddhist Valley Girl?!  Read the Book that Everybody's reading!  Capitalism.
The Final Frontier.
 
[comments from reviewers]
I can't recall reading a book so important, then again I can't recall if I
read it.--Ronald Reagan
 
It's 2029 and I'm still in search of Anti-semitism!--William F. Buckley Jr.
 
Thank God you haven't found it!--Rabbi Hillel
 
How did that Rabbi get in MY ad?!!!--Pat Robertson
 
Sure, those Gore Vidal Brain Pills(tm) are illegal, but I had to keep hope
alive!--Marilyn Quayle
 
CAPITALISM- THE FINAL FRONTIER- 2097 Pages Paperbound $22.95
 
--------------------------
[enjoy.      euclid]
 
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: tjones@orville.psu.edu (Brain Drain)
Subject: random acts of cruelty
Followup-To: rec.sports.skiing
Summary: wintertime fun 
Keywords: frosty the snowman, was a...
Organization: The Leaking Spinal Fluid Co.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 03:19:34 GMT

in the spirit of the season, i practiced a random act of cruelty.  :)
starting this past thursday and continuing through to saturday evening, it
snowed here in good old pennsylvania.  perhaps you heard about this
monstrosity of a winter storm on the news or witnessed it first hand.  any
way, we got like 3 to 4 feet of the white stuff.
snow is such a wonderful vehicle for abuse.
we were in the process of building a snow man when we noticed something odd:
two guys had built a snowman in their roommate's parking space.  curious, we
strolled over.  asking what was what, we were informed that their roommate was
gone and going to remain so for quite some time.  the four of us came to the
conclusion that it would be humorous to see this person's reaction to having
his spot blocked by a wall of snow.  so, instead of building our snowman in a
field, we built several side by side, blocking the spot.  
needless to say, upon his return, the person was quite perplexed.  he first
tried bashing through with his car, but we'd reinforced with packed snow.  i
think his roommates finally took pity or he threatened them with bodily harm.
either way, i later saw the three of them digging with shovels to clear the
spot.
in retrospect, i wish we'd have used the snow to sculpt a car shape.
then the guy might have called a towtruck out to have the "car" removed...

any way, though its not strictly suicidal (unless he would have been some huge
guy with a bad temper) it just seemed appropriate to post this as an antidote
to random acts of kindness.

anyone got similar stories or ideas?
-- 
Thomas H Jones II                             "Hmm... that wasn't at all what I
      aka.	                                            expected." --me
	thj@csn.org or  tjones@orville.psu.edu or tjones@vivaldi.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe)
Subject: Valley Girls again!
Organization: Pegasus,  Honolulu
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 19:01:34 GMT


Darn..I did it again..hit the wrong key..meant to include Joe's post for
clarity..

Anyway..it seems to me he said..that he cannot relate to people have
have had everything done everything..etc....sort of Valley Girls..

There are some even *I* cannot relate to..but you cannot imaggine how
lonely it is to always be given "things"..and not having and
the glow of happiness of a imagined proud parent..when yothe u graduate from
college..and they are too busy doing some dumbass things to attend..and so
they send you money or things..

And..what's even worse..you were dumb enough to tell alllll your friends that
your father was coming and you give a big party ..etc..and he is too busy..a
and sends champagne..

or what about this..you've gone unconcious from some odd reason and are in
the hospital and they fear the worst and you regain conciousness and make it
and then the nurses all come in with a big fruit basket sent to them by your
father for taking such good care of you and he never shows up..he's *busy*
and the fucker doesn't even have to *work*!

You don't think that's lonely?  You don't think it hurts to only have
things and no warmth?

Hmmm I seem to have fallen into a rant..not that *I* would know about any
of the above;->..

:wq

-- 
**************************************************************************
"I don't ask for much..just your heart on a silver platter;-)"
						-Kali
**************************************************************************
From: megazone@buckaroo.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Mutilation
Date: 15 Dec 1992 22:52:32 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
NNTP-Posting-Host: buckaroo.wpi.edu

wave of mutilation (U.K. Surf)
by the pixies 

cease to exist, giving my goodbye
drive my car into the ocean
you'll think I'm dead, but i sail away
on a wave of mutilation 
a wave
wave

i've kissed mermaids, rode the el nin(~)o
walked the sands with the crustaceans
could find my way to mariana
on a wave of mutilation
wave of mutilation
wave of mutilation
wave

wave of mutilation
wave

###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################
From: wilsonandrew@bvc.edu
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: LIFE ROCKS!
Date: 18 Dec 92 03:01:24 CST
Organization: Buena Vista College, Storm Lake, IA

Yeah, Shit, life is good. 
Aint it?
But perhaps I just overheard this while listening to some sportos having a 
conversation while I sat by myself in the student lounge and munched greasy 
pizza, trying to ignore the obnoxious soap-opera christmas specials blaring 
on the t.v. who's controls are too high up for me to reach....
Perhaps life aint so grand, after all.
I seem to have lost perspective, 
being in a strange land alone lo these many months (no Heinlein anologies, 
please)
I seem to be losing myself slowly, becoming something else that I don't 
particularly like too awful much.
Which is actually a good thing...
Because when I kill myself, I won't really be killing myself at all, 
but this asshole loser I've become
but that would be murder, wouldn't it?
So. The only problem remains is how the task will actually be performed. 
I figure, the messier the better. 
A nose-dive off a sky-scraper?
A sabot-round to my face?
A nice, warm acid bath?
I was thinking of setting up a shotgun so that the goop inside my head gets 
neatly blown onto a specially prepared canvas. I'll leave a note dubbing it 
art.....
The nicotene idea sounds pretty cool.
I'm not too keen on pain, actually. 
And I hear nicotene poisoning is pretty painless.
But drinkin' a shitload of water to kill myself actually sounds cool.
And nobody could really call it suicide.
When they find my bloated corpse, they'll just say:
"Gee, I guess he was really thirsty."

Xref: sparky alt.suicide.holiday:3042 alt.angst:4755
From: ogorman@unix1.tcd.ie (Lucifuge)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday,alt.angst
Subject: My contribution....
Date: 13 Dec 92 16:52:22 GMT
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin

....to the festive spirit:

There is no hope. Kill yourself now.

(but get someone else first).

I'm off to Cork...life sucks...actually it should be fun...yes I'm
fantasising...don't even *think* about disillusioning me...

Anyway, merry christmas.....

ahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahaha!

...for sure. 

Ollie/lucifuge...

--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
  The Lord is my Shepherd............................but I'm not a Sheep
-----------------------------ogorman@unix1.tcd.ie-------------------------
From: MANNONEN@SARA.CC.UTU.FI (Mannonen, Jukka)
Subject: Re: famous suicides
Organization: UNIVERSITY OF TURKU, FINLAND
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 05:43:35 GMT
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.23

In <seaverw.81.0@columbia.dsu.edu> seaverw@columbia.dsu.edu writes:

> Well, since someone's already used Sylvia Plath, here's an alternate 
> literary name: Hemingway.
> 
> Also Abbey Hoffman. And who was the actress in the '30s or '40s who flung 

And Virginia Woolf.


Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: sjb@unislc.uucp (Steven Backus)
Subject: Re: Chicken & Egg bullshit... my favorite dilemna...
Reply-To: backus@math.utah.edu
Organization: irc addicts incorporated
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 20:30:10 GMT

In article <42383@sdcc12.ucsd.edu> jfriesne@sdcc13.ucsd.edu (Jeremy Friesner!) writes:
>Y-aack!  I see people around me in very intimate relationships,
>I hear about them from friends and on the net, and I want something
>like that so bad it hurts.... and of course I'm afraid that 
>wanting it so badly is going to interfere with my actually getting
>it... I'll probably come across as desparate or weird to anyone
>who might be interested in me!?  (Come to think of it, I already
>come across as weird, and kind of like it, so desperation is
>the problem).
>
>Any comments, or advice?  Mostly I'm just ranting and raving...
>
>Jeremy

  As someone who is in the exact same position I feel qualified to reply to
this.  Somehow we have to be content with our lot.  Only by being happy with
what you have can you project qualities that others will want to be around.
I wish I could give you specific advice as to how that's accomplished
(haven't had much luck myself, and being alone at this time of year sucks).
All I know is you've got to have hope.  Sooner or later someone will come
along that you're interested in.  You must look desirable to them or
you'll be alone forever.  Lie to yourself about being happy for the time
being, maybe something will happen in your life that will make the lies come
true.

Steve
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: cjones@physci.ucla.edu (Chad Jones)
Subject: Re: famous suicides
X-UserAgent: Nuntius v1.1
Organization: UCLA Physiological Science
     <1992Dec14.054335.16223@polaris.utu.fi>
     <1992Dec14.181910.7749@burrhus.harvard.edu>
Date: 15 Dec 92 07:43:50 PST

In article <1992Dec12.084507.24246@leland.Stanford.EDU> Dwight Joe,
underdog@leland.Stanford.EDU writes:
>(1) Alan Turing -- considered by many to be one of the founders of
>                   modern computer science (suicide by cyanide)

Alan Turing, who was instrumental in cracking the Nazi's codes in WWII,
was sentenced to hormone therapy for his homosexuality.  This is not the
most pleasant thing to go through, and he couldn't handle what it was
doing to him.  So he ate a cyanide-laced apple.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chad Jones                 | Do I need someone here to scold me or do I
Network Manager            | need someone who'll grab and pull me out of
UCLA Physiological Science | this four poster dull torpor pulling
cjones@physci.ucla.        | downward?                 -- 10,000 Maniacs
Newsgroups: wpi.students.vox,alt.suicide.holiday,rec.arts.poems,alt.personals
From: alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe)
Subject: Re: Kittens - C&C Welcome
Organization: Pegasus,  Honolulu
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 18:38:52 GMT

In article <1992Dec11.043428.202@news.Hawaii.Edu> deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett) writes:
>In article <1992Dec10.193223.27013@pegasus.com> alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe) writes:
>>>
>>>That's ok..now we can have more suicides..like the Lady of Shailot (oh god..I
>>>know it is spelled horrible;-)...we'll (the romantic ones)..will kills ourselves
>>>and float down the river to land at your house...ha..however will you explan
>>>it?;->
>>>
>>
>>Arrrrgh..look at those typos..it should be "horribly" and explain!
>>
>>I may have to claw myself if I don't quit being so hasty..!
>>
>
>Oh, don't go do that.  It sounded a little cute the other way.  Gotta have some
>style to romantik konvesachuns.
>
>dB		"donna ass me, I neva explan anythin"
>
>
>

(grin)..ha..now it's hard to make a typo!..;->

-- 
**************************************************************************
"I don't ask for much..just your heart on a silver platter;-)"
						-Kali
**************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: alto@pegasus.com (Andrea Ostensoe)
Subject: Re: famous suicides
Organization: Pegasus,  Honolulu
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 20:53:10 GMT

In article <seaverw.83.0@columbia.dsu.edu> seaverw@columbia.dsu.edu (W. A. Seaver) writes:
>In article <1992Dec14.181910.7749@burrhus.harvard.edu> glazier@isr.harvard.edu (Andrew Baker Glazier) writes:
>>From: glazier@isr.harvard.edu (Andrew Baker Glazier)
>>>
>>Sycophant! Abbie Hoffman DID NOT commit suicide!
>>           ^^^^^
>
>Ay pardon for the spelling--that is one of those names that tend to come 
>out unconsciously that way--but everything I heard indicated it WAS suicide. 
>Can anyone help clear that up?
>
>--Dharma Bum
>----
>"Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?"
>    --On the Road

Oh yes he did..I guess it was spelled Abby..I didn't notice..and I thought
we didn't remark on each other's spelling..

I still have the article or rather the whole magazine as he was on the
cover..he left a note and everything....and I recall that it made me sad
because he gave up..let the turkeys grind him down..and I think a ladylove
had left..really..it know it hurts..but I hate seeing something like that
push someone that I considered a progressive thinker..go down..

however..I shouldn't say these things..everyone has their own private
hell..

                      
-- 
**************************************************************************
"I don't ask for much..just your heart on a silver platter;-)"
						-Kali
**************************************************************************
From: megazone@obsidian.WPI.EDU (MegaZone23)
Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
Subject: Re: Mark, we could use the hanging height list about now...
Date: 15 Dec 1992 19:16:15 GMT
Organization: WPI USAF -- United Society of Animation Fans
NNTP-Posting-Host: obsidian.wpi.edu

In article <1gjhsdINNdip@life.ai.mit.edu> mjs@Gnu.ai.mit.edu (The Lord of the Damned) writes:
>p.s. Damn you MegaZone, you dragged me out of lurk-dom.

Sorry about that... I saved it so I don't have to do it again...

>p.p.s. Knowledge is not good nor evil, it just is, the uses of Knowledge
>may however be judged by the human standards of good or evil. 

And who are we to judge actions of others by our standards? I disliked being
judged, and yet I judge. Seems a common fault.

>p.p.p.s. For future reference MegaZone, i do not capitilize my name because

Noted, sorry about that...

###############################################################################
# I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity.  Use your mind, think! #
#Email megazone@wpi.wpi.edu  Moderator, WPI anime FTP site 130.215.24.1 /anime#
###############################################################################