From: jgould@adobe.com (Jim Gould)
Subject: Sport Stat News (#2)
Organization: Adobe
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 14:44:59 GMT

Howdy,

 Here are some articles from the latest issue of SPORT STAT NEWS. Although
they all regarding the SFL you may still find them interesting.  If anybody
would like to start an SFL of their own, just EMAIL me for the rules.

INSIDE THE SFL with Doug Grismore
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  This year's SFL draft was the first time player salaries and salary 
caps were a large consideration.  Needless to say, the owner's 
inexperience in this type of environment showed blindingly through.
 
 The first round of the draft was a free pick of a rookie.  Many 
standard picks were made in the first few selections, such as Steve 
Emtman and Desmond Howard, both of which have had a significant 
impact on their teams (The Skankadelics and J&J Sissies, 
respectively).  Players like Marco Coleman (Seek & Destroy) and 
Vaughn Dunbar (Cops Want Donuts) are expected to provide big help 
to their teams as well.  Touchdown Tommy Vardell (SWAT) provided 
a BIG spark to his team with a sparkling performance last Monday.  
Beside Steve Emtman's sacking partner Quentin Coryatt (Green 
Machine), the balance of the rookie draft resembles a mishmash of 
folks you never heard of (apologies to offending owners).
 
 Following this, the balance of the salaried draft began.  A trend 
began to develop immediately; salaries for marquee players would 
be mighty high.  A record $90 was paid for the services of Emmitt 
Smith in a bidding war between the Terbinators (now known as the 
EndZoners) and the Budmeisters that was well publicized before the 
draft ensued.  Many other players went for some outrageous dollars 
early.  The misfiring Mark Rypien ("no, a holdout won't affect me") 
went to the O'Town Posse for a whopping $45.  This was stunning, 
but not nearly as stunning as some of the other "bargains".  Dan 
Marino at $55 is rather expensive, but 48ers GM Lisa Salas provided 
one of the most expensive faux pas of the draft by teaming him with 
Andre "someday an Oiler" Rison at $35.  This ties up $90 on one 
active player as well, as Rison has yet to sign.  
 
 There were also some major "steals" in the draft.  These were 
mostly made by GMs like J&J Sissies' John Brand and Green 
Machine's Jim Gould, that resisted the strong temptation to spend big 
early in hopes of some sterling talent later which no one else would 
be able to afford.  Kickers were the most wildly over and underpaid.  
The two best kicking prospects (with an injured Morten Anderson) 
were Pete Stoyanovich and Gary Anderson.  Pete went for $21.50 to 
Cops Want Donuts, while a more patient Seek and Destroy GM Jamie 
Beverly managed to steal Gary for a paltry $5.  Other players 
considered "major steals" include Oilers perennial sack leader Ray 
Childress (J&J Sissies, $6.50), tenacious and continual Pro Bowler 
Darrell Green (O'Town Posse, $6.00), suddenly motivated Tampa QB 
Vinnie Testaverde (Lambs, $5.50), defensive standout and now well-
traveled SFL player Cortez Kennedy (Sugar Long Bombs, $5.50, now 
with Cops Want Donuts), and Herman Moore, the leading wide 
receiver in Detroit's run and shoot (Cops Want Donuts, $5.00, now 
with Seek and Destroy).
 
 Nothing, however, compares with the brilliant game of patience 
shown by Jim Gould of the Green Machine.  By waiting until most 
other GMs had spent all their money to start bringing up players he 
wanted, he managed to obtain SEVERAL talented players for very 
low salaries and STILL have plenty of money for free agent 
acquisition during the season.  Just look at this lineup: WRs Reggie 
Langhorne ($4.00), Floyd Turner ($10.00, now with Cops Want 
Donuts and out for the season) and Eric Martin ($8.00), and major 
defensive stars like Bruce Smith ($14.00), Russell Maryland ($13.00), 
Neil Smith ($1.00) and Jerome Brown ($1.50 in an act of supreme 
kindness).  Plus, a visionary Gould also picked up now-starting QB 
Todd Marinovich for a miniscule $1.50.  Quite a mover, that Gould 
guy.
 
 Other teams distinguished themselves in other ways.  SWAT's GM 
Mark Hagerty and owner Sarah Rosenbaum were incredilby well-
prepared for the draft and proved to be a capable foe during player 
bidding.  Seek & Destroy's GM Jamie Beverly was pretty savvy 
during the draft, but still a little drunk from the awards ceremony 
following the draft.  For a rookie GM, John Brand of the J&J Sissies 
proved that negotiation skills and years of poker playing could come 
in incredibly handy on draft day, and that you can never have too 
many kickers.  In a stand-in role, assistant GM Mark Maxwell 
provided O'Town Posse with the players they really wanted while 
keeping the purse strings in check (except for Rypien, discussed 
above...well, Mike Haynes for $36.50?).  For all their problems 
drafting 49ers, GM Lisa Salas managed to grab some non-Niner talent 
as well in Chris Dishman, Reggie White, and Andre Rison (well, we all 
make mistakes).  With a $90 Emmitt Smith, it was tough for 
Endzoners GM Terry Erb to get going in the draft - and then the bad 
luck of injuries early to both their once-inexpensive quarterbacks 
Jeff Hostetler and Browning Nagle.  Although other draft participants 
provided interesting moments, none were of note to this writer 
(sorry, guys and gals, gotta be more high-profile next year!)
 
 The fallout of this high priced draft is simple - free agents will be 
very hard to pick up.  A last minute rule change allowing GMs to cut 
dead weight in week 2 and free up salary dollars was not well 
publicized, and as a result not all GMs took advantage of it.  The 
trade sharks are also out, so less-than-savvy GM's, beware of the 
injured name player!  Next issue: more "inside news" on your 
favorite GM's, those of the SFL.


FROM THE MANAGING EDITOR
========================

   
owned and coached by Jamie Beverly , enthralled the crowd with 
screams of "RE-PEAT   RE-PEAT"".  Bush and Beverly, clearly 
suffering from their wild night of swilling together, spent much time 
talking about Beverly's sure-fire secret for success and just how that 
philosophy could be adapted to the Presidents re-election campaign.  
The President reportedly claimed, "I can die a happy man now, I've 
met Jamie Beverly", and then allegedly offered Barbara's "services" 
as a token of his undying appreciation for Beverly's winning ways by 
saying "take my wife, please".

  The President went on to liken the stealth-like strength and speed 
of the Seek and Destroy team to our military's surgical maneuvering 
in Desert Storm.  He even went so far as to say that Beverly's trades 
were like "friendly fire, although they seemed harmless enough, they 
nuked the hell out of the other boys".

  Bush continued his tribute to his mentor by lamenting the sad day 
when they lost to the 48ers (reportedly more than one man short of 
a baseball team) and admitted his embarrassment at being a Seek 
and Destroy fan that weekend.  No other event caused Bush as much 
humiliation - he thought - until of course, his compatriot, Quayle 
spelled Potato-e-.  Bush seems to equate that humiliation with that of 
promising the public not to raise taxes.  But enough about Bush....
 
  Bush's and Beverly's weekend ended with a wild night of carousing 
where Bush finally got up the nerve to ask Beverly about the rumors 
of his (Beverly's) Pregnancy, and didn't his mother always want a 
girl.  Beverly countered with a healthy scratch to his crotch, a spit of 
tobaccy and a hardy "Hi-Ho-Silver" and the comment "YYUUUUPP, 
but thayt was 30 laung yyeers ago and naiow it's waiy too late fer 
that 'ol broad ta git her waiy.
 
 In a parting comment before Air Force One was to take the 
President to Kennebunkport for recovery from his wild weekend , 
"Hey Beverly - is your head getting smaller?"
                                                            --Lisa G. Salas

===========================================================================
Edito -in-Cheif           Jim Gould
Managing Editor           Lisa G. Salas
Art Director              Jamie Beverly
Special Projects Manager  Doug Grismore
Ad Manager                Marilyn Flint

Please send letters to the editor to jgould@adobe.com