From: pmmuggli@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu  (pauline muggli)
Subject: my categories of rape (was Re: Date Rape and its aftermath)
Summary: categories meaning type not punishment deserved
Originator: mdtll@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 16:45:31 GMT
Organization: Engineering Computer Network, Univ. of Oklahoma, Norman, OK, USA


1.  walk confidently, stay out of bad areas, learn self-defense
2.  walking confidently is fine but what about date rape?
3.  don't drink or go to frat parties or back to the guy's apartment.

that interchange got me thinking and now i'm going to take it one step
further.  (apoligies for making your posts (and you know who you
are :-) that simplistic.)  i'm also not including rape of
children, rape where one person is unconscious, or any other one
person incapacitated whether it be mental handicap or other
forms covered by law.  i hate to use the terms, but i'm
addressing every day ordinary rape, not the fringe cases.

finally, these are *my* perceptions of what the general public
thinks.  i'm asking if other people agree/disagree.  before you
ask, i have no studies to back any of this up, as i said, these
are my perceptions.

i think of (adult, female) rape in 3 categories.  not as far as
punishment goes, because i don't think the setting the rape took
place in matters.   but in terms of acceptance/blame by society.

category 1: stranger rape.
  this can happen in a woman's home or in a dark alley.
  physical violence may or may not happen, but the emotion of fear
  is present.  the victim is random.

  in past times (of which i am by no means an expert), rape of this
  sort was the woman's fault for letting herself become "unpure"
  or "unfaithful" to a husband.  in more recent times, however,
  this type of rape generally brings no or less blame to the female.
  blame occurs by some when she was wearing "suggestive" clothing or
  was drunk.  (i.e. she "asked" for it.)  the presence of bruises
  showed that "at least she fought".  prostitutes also seem to be
  considered differently - i.e. the attitude "how can you rape a
  prostitute?"  

  whether in past times or present, *some* people consider the
  woman to be damaged goods and may wonder if it was her fault.
  exceptions seem to be nuns, old women, children, and a woman
  who was beaten black and blue (she tried to fight).  the
  number of people who feel this way about stranger rape is/has
  grown less as we understand rape more.

  when people talk about rape prevention *many* are discussing
  this type of rape.  i.e.  walk confidently, don't wear
  suggestive clothing (this one i don't agree with but it is a
  cure some people advocate), carry a gun, self-defense, etc.

category 2: date rape.
  this category has gotten much attention in recent years.  the
  people involved barely know each other.  they may be dating
  for the first time, meet at a party (fraternity), etc.  people
  typically think of this happening to college (or other young)
  women.  it may or may not include physical violence.  

  recent cases: mike tyson and w.k.smith. (one convicted, one not)

  this may be a very hard case to win in court.  many times
  there are no bruises (i.e. she wasn't raped 'cause she didn't 
  fight) and there is no question of whether the two had sex.
  it is the argument over whether the women wanted sex then and
  revenge now or didn't want sex then and wants justice now.

  this is the area where people tend to blame the victim.
  whether because of where she was, what she was wearing, or
  if she was drinking.  even in cases where there is a
  conviction (mike tyson) people still wonder why the female 
  was, to put it bluntly, stupid or acting stupidly.

  rape prevention in this case consists of the don't wear
  suggestive clothes (i still don't think this belongs here, but
  it *is* advocated), self-defense, don't drink, don't go to
  parties, don't go to the man's house, self-defense.  i don't
  add carry a gun, because of my perception that people think it
  isn't acceptable to shoot a date.

  most of the prevention tips boil down to (in my mind), don't
  trust.  or the alternative stay at home.

category 3: aquaintance rape.
  i use this term here, even though in actuality date rape is a
  subset, because i couldn't think of a better term.

  what i include in this category are relationships that go
  beyond "date."  this could include family, neighbors, long
  time friends, and long term "dating" relationships.

  this category doesn't seem to be addressed very often, and
  like the others may or may not include physical violence.  but i
  feel, as in any rape, fear is an element.

  in this category there is a range of "how can a husband rape
  a wife?"  to "they've been having sex for years, so it can't
  be rape."

  blame may or may not be there.  this category is different, 
  because these are people you know and have a relationship with
  many of the advocated prevention measures make no sense here.
  for example, trust, clothing, drinking, being at the man's
  home and parties.   
 
i personally feel the second and third categories are many of
the unreported rapes.  in the second category because of shame,
guilt, a feeling of stupidity, fear of being blamed, fear of
being damaged goods and fear of not being believed.  with the
third category, all of the above and add a love and or loyalty
to the person.  it may be the husband who is the breadwinner, or
a person you have lived with for many years.  there may be a
fear of destroying the family.

i also listed the catagories in the order they are because of
the general acceptance/knowledge/known prevention techniques
of people.  most people accept category one as rape.  category
two is in what i call the learning stage people are discussing it,
learning about it, trying to understand it.  there is by no means a
consensus about the topic, whether it is rape or not, and
prevention techniques.  women in category two are beginning to
tell their stories.  category 3 everyone knows exists, but seem
to avoid.  there are no clear cut prevention techniques - as a
matter of fact, many of the ones generally talked about would not
work.  in my mind it is a category that will only get better if
attitudes towards "what a woman wants" change in the general public.
as a side note, as of last year, it was still not explicitly against
the law in oklahoma to rape your wife.  this is against the law in
many states no matter how hard it would be to prove.

as i said before, these are *my* perceptions of what the general
public thinks.   you can agree/disagree, but as perceptions,
they are neither right or wrong.  i think sometimes when people
post here, they are talking past each other, because they are
thinking of different types of rape.

i'd like to hear other's opinions.

pauline

Newsgroups: talk.rape