From: dave@silver.sni.ca (Dave Till)
Subject: Re: Why aren't there more baseball player actors?
Organization: People Wondering Who Is Inhabiting Todd Stottlemyre's Uniform
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 15:58:09 GMT

In article <31AUG92.14181014@vax.clarku.edu> hhenderson@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>There are such a lot of ex-football players who turn into actors
>(alleged actors, that is).  Alex Karras, Dandy Don Meredith, etc. etc.
>and let's not forget that brilliant thespian Fred Dryer.  How come
>there aren't any ex-baseball player actors?  There's Bob Uecker
>I suppose, but other than that I can't think of anybody.
>
>A sportswriter friend of mine has a theory about this.  He says
>that baseball players are much, much stupider than athletes in
>other sports (even hockey!  I was surprised at that) and therefore
>are too dumb to be actors.  Any comments?

But... the best baseball players are good actors!  Consider:

- The "phantom double play":  with a runner on first and a fly ball to the
outfield, many double-play combinations will fake the double-play throw
and pivot, hoping that the runner will be decoyed into trying to take out
the infielder at second.

-- The "who, me?" tag play:  This one is often seen when a runner tries
to go from first to third.  The third baseman will just casually stand
around the bag, hoping to fool the runner into thinking that no throw is
coming in.  If the runner is fooled, he will stroll into the unexpected tag.

-- The "I got it!  I got it!" diving catch:  whenever an outfielder traps
a ball, he will immediately raise his glove in the air, bearing the
ball triumphantly.  If the second base umpire is not paying attention,
an out might be awarded.

-- The "It got me!  It got me!" pseudo-HBP:  a batter brushed back from the
plate will sprint off to first, clutching some "injured" body part,
hoping to intimidate the plate umpire.

-- Related to the above is the "of course it was ball four" bat toss
on the close pitch.  This tends to backfire, as the plate umpire is more
than likely to call a strike out of spite.

-- Good catchers know how to "frame" the strike zone to make close pitches
look like strikes.

-- Outfielders who have lost track of a fly ball will sometimes settle under
some spot in the outfield and pretend to have things under control.
This may intimidate any existing baserunners.

-- Veteran pitchers often know just how much they can use body language to
complain about calls not going their way.  The usual approach is to stand
motionless on the mound for a few seconds, receive the ball, and wearily
trudge back to the rubber.  The overall effect is of resignation rather
than indignation:  "Oh, well -- *sigh* -- I guess I gotta throw another
strike.  Such is life."

[Actually, I suspect the reason that football players become actors is
because they are, well, big and rather distinctive.  Baseball players, out
of uniform, usually look like ordinary people.  Gaylord Perry, when he was
active, used to be able to walk the streets unrecognized, because no one
thought that a professional athlete could be 20 pounds overweight and
going bald.]
-- 
--Dave Till ("dave@silver.sni.ca", or try "dave@snitor.uucp"; as a last resort,
try "dwtill@watyew.waterloo.edu")  * My Canada includes the World Series. *
"Take it from me, a veteran.  The indicators of mental health in this country
are sleeping habits, hair length and beards." -- from *Whale Music*
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball