HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: IF IT'S NOT SCOTTISH! IT'S CRAP! (was: Re: STOP this crap)
Date: 31 Aug 92 22:53:32 GMT
Organization: laughing box

In article <Btv4I2.Ko4@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>In <p94fafc@fido.asd.sgi.com> cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio) writes:
>
>>that you're white, male, and not poverty-stricken.  You are
>>utterly clueless.  Shut up, listen, and learn something.
>
>who is this? Sheezus, how does one say "shut-up" politely yet bizarrely
>in such a forum? In alt.flame, you flame - in alt.sex, you make fun of
>their lack-thereof... In comp.sys.mac, you make IBM jokes. But, how
>oh how do you tell someone to shut up in talk.bizarre?
>(heh, I'm sure I'll get this answered in spades, just like from my
>last post)
>   Well, in any case, I would never killfile an individual, but I have
>the right to laugh at them. CJ, I would probably forgive your opinions
>if you were not such a ... butthead? But, I have oh-so-much respect

cj a butthead?  <giggle>

>for you since I saw that gif you posted to talk.abortion. That pensive
>shot of you showed me that you're a feminist NOT because men harass
>you, but because men DON'T harass you. I don't know too many

"I do not respect opinions of women who don't look like specimens from
my centerfold collection." -- Steve Franklin

Let's see a gif of you, beauty.

>attractive women who are actually feminists, but clearly that's not something
>you have to deal with. 

First:  you ain't in my killfile now.  posts like yours are
so beautifully ignorant and wrongheaded, they are worth treasuring
to me, at least until more froshlings get their computer accounts
and posts like yours are the majority.

Second:  liberated women have better sex.  It's one thing to simply
cum, but when you have a partner who can relax and not feel guilty
about having sex without making babies, when you both can pleasure
each other and perhaps even orgasm simultaneously, that's when you
get a hint of what making love means.  A woman who you've stimulated
to orgasm becomes so mind-shudderingly erotic that you want to, then
and there, give your life to her and your mutual pleasures.

I thought you might need to be told that.

AjD
no need to thank me.
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: English Usage
Date: 27 Aug 92 11:55:12 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us



glp5941@ultb.isc.rit.edu (Greg Pratt) writes:

#  Iran has been particularly repressive against gays in recent history
#  (possibly due largely to its religiously fundamentalist government). 


What is the purpose of the words `possibly' and `largely' in this
context? Do you mean that the repression might be due to the government
but then again it might be due to something else?

-- Ken "be confident" Johnson


-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: lstewart@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca (L. Stewart -- IS Office 1058)
Subject: spandex(tm) watchdog
Keywords: lycra(tm), contours
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1992 20:49:21 GMT

Steve Franklin stood at the bus stop with a few coins turning in 
his hot, sweating palm. Mother had told him about these large    
vehicles that carried people back and forth. He repeated his
greeting quietly to himself, Hello Mr. Bus-Pilot. I would be pleased
if your fine vehicle might provide conveyance to a predetermined 
location specified in your route mapping, which is freely
available to travellers. 

Steve was excited at the prospect of an unaccompanied journey.
He dreamt of the endless vistas awaiting him beyond the corner
of his street. He imagined the pride of his mother as her weeping
and remorse at his departure turned to rejoicing and rapture at
his triumphant return. He had always been the adventurous one in    
the family. 

After an interminable wait the great machine bore down on him.
His knees met and shook at the size of the vehicle, he could
imagine nothing larger in the world. His fear overcame him at the
terrible noise of the thing and he clutched his ears as it stopped 
beside him. A great breath escaped the machine as its doors swung
open. From the side of the bus a young woman emerged. She wore a  
clinging body suit that shone in the light. Its snugness betrayed
her every curve and Steven was stunned. Barely a moment had passed
when he realized that his bladder felt funny. The driver glared 
down at young Master Franklin, she called to him, "Well."

Steven had taken hold of his naughty peeper, which was swelling
terribly, and cast a frightened look into the bus. There, behind
the wheel sat a lovely young woman. His speech caught in his throat
like a great dane in a cat door. Mr. Bus-Pilot, how could it be?
An almost painful seizure took him and he realized he was gripping
his naughty peeper too tightly and he fell over on the boulevard.
His legs kicked out rigid and his back archerd up out of the grass
as a warmth flooded over him. His naughty peeper made him sticky
and the driver just shrugged, closed the door and pulled away.

Steven returned to the family home. His many brothers and sisters
gathered near the door and Mother had given them each a napkin
to play with. It was a big day. When Steven arrived at the door
he was ushered into the main room and given the central chair. 
From this honoured perch he told the family his tale of wonder
and adventure. Later in the evening he showed his brothers, the
ambulatory ones, his now shrunken naughty peeper and told of the
wonder of its growth.

After many hours of failure and pinching Steven was able to recreate
the experience for his kin. For this he was revered by them as
a heroic champion. Steven was the first of his family to ascend
from the inbred moronic clan to become a fully fledged wanker.
From: joshua@CPAC.WASHINGTON.EDU (Joshua Geller)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: KILLFILE CHECK! Please read!
Date: 31 Aug 92 18:55:44 GMT


   Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
   From: franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin)
   Followup-To: talk.bizarre
   Summary: CENSUS! POLL! 
   Nntp-Posting-Host: ug.cs.dal.ca
   Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada
   Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 14:24:38 GMT


   Thank you for your consideration. Basically, I'm doing a poll to see if
   I'm in your killfill or not. 



you are now.

josh
if there's one thing t.b doesn't need it's yaca.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject:  WHEN I FUCKED t.b PERSONALITY __________, I LEARNED ________.
Followup-To: poster
Summary: ooooo-weee
Keywords: penis,dildo,butter
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 16:41:05 GMT


When I fucked t.b. personality ATA BOY, I learned that bread crumbs dont
stick to a dildo very well, especially when it is being rammed in and out
of an asshole at such a rapid rate.

When I fucked t.b. personality CARASSO, I learned that Iranian terrorists
calling in death threats during the luv making really adds alot to your
partners machismo.

When I fucked t.b. personality RP WHITE, he made me sign a statement saying
I wouldnt tell the Navy.

When I fucked t.b. personality KEN JOHNSON, he wouldnt stop talking about his
daughter.

When I fucked t.b. personality GOOLEY, I learned that fucking a 26 yr old 
virgin is dull as can be.


Betty Dobson
From: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Need telecomm package for msdos Ada
Keywords: LOSER
Date: 26 Aug 92 16:47:53 GMT
Reply-To: rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test
Organization: Monterey Bay Yacht Club, Monterey CA

In comp.lang.ada kiae@chemfp.latg.lv shows us the dark side of the
breakup of the Soviet Union:

)Hello !

)Now I'm  designing   UseNet  mailer  system  with communication facility
)(like BBS). I think Ada with her multitasking  is  a best choice to code
)it. I look a  PD  or SW  telecom package  realizing popular  interchange
)protocols like   Z-modem or  other.  Please,   guide  me in  the   right
)direction, 

Try gun,head,bang.

>-- 
>Alexander Kalinin   /Chemical Fibres Plant, Daugavpils, Latvia/
>e-mail: kiae@chemfp.latg.lv; (01354)42785; fax: (01354)45488
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor,rec.arts.startrek.current
From: sknkwrks@unlv.edu (Scott Alfter)
Subject: Re: STAR TREK PRANKS
Organization: Skunk Works Software Co.
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 92 01:04:30 GMT

In article <RFowler.344@kelvin.jpl.nasa.gov> RFowler@kelvin.jpl.nasa.gov (Robert A. Fowler) writes:
>In article <RANNOU.92Aug27090550@zuse.info.polymtl.ca> Rannou@info.polymtl.ca (Patrick Rannou) writes:
>>Huh, why 36,767 exactly? I've seen this number pop up in other newsgroup,
>
>It is programmer humor, (2^15-1 = 36767  (the largest signed integer on a 
>16 bit computer).

Not quite...2^15-1=32767.

  _/_   Scott Alfter                             Internet: sknkwrks@cs.unlv.edu
 / v \  Call the Skunk Works BBS today!                      Fidonet: 1:209/765
(IIe (  TEMPORARILY OFFLINE    Apple II/IBM
 \_^_/  Ask me about SoftDAC--digital audio for your IIe/IIc! Apple II Forever!
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Attention Earthlings
Followup-To: alt.alien.visitors,talk.bizarre,news.admin,comp.sun.buttfuck
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 14:23:11 GMT


I am receiving channelled messages from YJRCJRDFCBH$#!^@#**, who is running
for president on his home world of Y6^^GFUYH^*&^$$. He asks me to say to you:

   I am looking to come into contact with the earth-human known as
   Georgherbwlkbush. He is known to have visited our planet and picked
   up a rare sexually transmitted disease which makes old white haired
   dumpy earth women seem ravishingly attractive. We believe he is in
   the late stages of this rare disease, and is now criminally insane.

________end channeled message

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: zgilbert@epas.utoronto.ca (Zvi Gilbert)
Subject: Re: Choose a present!
Organization: University of Toronto - EPAS
Date: Fri, 4 Sep 1992 04:04:22 GMT
Summary: SF for the retentive
Keywords: why am i bothering?


I hate to be a DelanyGeek, but...

(Bart Simps.. er.. Oktay Ahiska) writes:>
>"RdC" == Rachel Dafni Christy <rdc@netcom.com> writes:
>
>RdC> IN SOC.CULTURE.JAPAN jwd@briones.ced.berkeley.edu (John Wilbrand
>RdC> Dahlgren) writes:
>     ^^^^^^^^
>to wound the autumnal city. And I thought it was purely science
>fiction.  I have come to

Sigh.

The book is DHALGREN.  The "h" is before the "a".

Why does everybody in the goddamn world make this mistake?

ObBizarre: I told Steven Franklin in private mail to stop posting to
talk.bizarre.  Soon afterwords, he did.  Do I share in the glory?

--Zvi
From: andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: please continue
Date: 3 Sep 92 16:14:53 GMT
Organization: Spider Systems Limited, Edinburgh, UK.

In article <25487@castle.ed.ac.uk> adam@castle.ed.ac.uk (Adam Hamilton) writes:
>In article <1992Sep3.102300.3584@news.acns.nwu.edu> eepmatt@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Matthew Friedman) writes:
>>In article <labagpINNbka@aludra.usc.edu> rone@aludra.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri) writes:
>>>nj:
>>>>He plunged his hands into the vat of teeming lice, then poured them over his
>>>mother, making sure to cover her well.  "Ok, Mum, when you're ready, make sure
>>to put the hat on." He ignited the butane torch and slowly approached the
>terrapin tank.  Carefully opening the lid at arms length he pushed the flame
into his girlfriends highly erotic underwear. "Oh Rodney, you do know how to


-- 
|      Andy Cannon       |"Love is what seperates us from the animals"       |
| Misplaced Yorkshireman |                                                   |
|   Spider Systems Ltd   |"No, what seperates us from the animals is that we |
|  andrewc@spider.co.uk  |don't clean our own genitals with our tongue"      |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: HOOTERS (not hooters)
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 1992 12:27:38 GMT

In <annie.02te@canetoad.UUCP> annie@canetoad.UUCP (Annie) writes:
>Annie:	Grendel, what is the *one* most oft-repeated *silly* word you
>	see on t.b almost *every* day? Thirty seconds or forfeit.

Well, since at least two newbies have crapped on this article, I'll just
point out that it has won the Funhouse Article of the Week award, awarded
every time I damn well please.  It was a real hoot.
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:28233 rec.humor:27495
From: rperkins@astro.as.arizona.edu (Rachel J. Perkins)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor
Subject: Re: STOP this Crap
Keywords: nipple clamps, chocolate, electric current,...
Date: 31 Aug 92 22:43:23 GMT
Organization: University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ

In article <29AUG199223073825@deimos.ucc.umass.edu> s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN) writes:

>	Wow, thanks for setting me straight.  Unfortunately, I didn't see
>my favorite sexually-oriented newsgroup in your list.   I like bush (as long as
>it's not named `George').  I prefer butter-flavored Crisco, bondage, obscure
>industrial bands, weak electric current, chocolate, and computer-literate 
>women named Rachel.  Can you help me out?
>			dylyn



no.

bah.
--
		-just give me what for,
	rachel perkins =  rperkins@astro.as.arizona.edu
      "Chastity..the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions...."
					-Aldous Huxley
From: mikea@zorba.gvg.tek.com (Michael P. Anderson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Scary.
Date: 29 Aug 92 01:40:33 GMT
Organization: Grass Valley Group, Grass Valley, CA



			    PUBLIC  NOTICE


On the evening of September 6, 1992, The Cacophony Society will be holding
their third annual Burning Man celebration in Nevada's Black Rock Desert.
The man stands 45 feet and is made of laminated wood beams and lath. He
is covered with neon and his head is filled with high explosives and 
fireworks. If you arrive a couple of days before, you may participate
in the fill-the-legs-and-torso-with-offerings procedure. Meaningful
offerings are fine. No live offerings will be accepted. At approximately
6 pm there will be a black tie cocktail party. Video cameras are not
required, but to get the full recursive-video effect a ratio of one
camera for every two persons is recommended. As the sun sets, all present
will grab the 400 foot-long hawser and raise the Burning Man from the
desert floor. The 10 drum sets and their drummers will begin their
rhythmic pulsations, aided by those thumping on the skins stretched
painfuly tight across hollowed tree stumps. As the naked, shaved, and
oiled nymphs proceed with the fire dance, you and your fellow Burning
Man-sters will begin to rock from side to side, and when the fire
breather torches the left foot of the Burning Man, you will most likely
let out a scream. Men and women of all ages will enjoy this event;
children are welcome but should be prepared for the bizzare--a solid
Judeo-Christain exposure will surely help keep them from turning Pagan,
if this is something that concerns you.

The Black Rock Desert is located half way between Reno, Nevada and Boise,
Idaho. The closest town is Gerlach. Take I-80 east from Reno, then north
at the Nixon turnoff. Go past Pyramid Lake into Gerlach. The Black Rock
Desert is part of what was once Lake Lahountan, a huge inland sea 10
times the size of the Great Salt Lake. The Black Rock is a desert playa,
80 miles long and 30-40 miles wide. Once you have driven onto the playa
you may point your vehicle in any direction and cruise. The Burning Man
will be located somewhere in the middle, but due to the curvature of
the earth you must be within about 5 miles before you will see the
encampment. Last year there were about 300 people in attendance. Due
to lots of media exposure that figure might double; no problem though,
it's a damn big desert.

Send me e-mail if you would like more information. I saw this for the
first time last year and it was spectacular. I cannot recommend it
enough. 

P.S. There are natural hot springs at the edge of the Black Rock, the
best being Fly Geyser. It was here that last year's Burning Man-sters
retired after the coals were managable (2 am - 4 am) and the rest of
the evening was spent whispering quietly to 100 of your closest pals
in a tub the size of an Olympic swimming pool. I'm tellin' ya folks,
it was like Venus...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rone@aludra.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: figure it out for yourself, college boys
Followup-To: poster
Date: 27 Aug 1992 13:16:05 -0700
Organization: None Whatsoever
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu

In article <1992Aug27.084608.27186@alembic.acs.com> gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte) writes:
>yes, i'm a feminist.  why do you fucking ask?

Oh, go back to the kitchen where you belong.

5150
ack, hell hath no fury like a woman enraged
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA)
Subject: Re: hyping up rp's job title.
Organization: WHorshipers of Lady LibertY (WHoLLY)
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 18:54:07 GMT


drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) writes:

>   SickoWarMongerPigDogLackyOfTheMilitaryIndustrialComplexLordGodDominatorOfTheDigitallyExpressedInFormationallyEnhancedSituationallyExacerbatedDataAcquisitionAndMangulationExpertOfRevisionistIdeologicalDeviationalismAndMorallyQuestionableAssociationOfNonRelateableThingsUnderstoodOnlybyTheDivinelyAnnotedOneTrueBelieverOfTheThreeFistedTalesOfTheOneTrueReligionAsToldByTheSameBlindPeopleWhoLeadTheDeafToSmellSmallFartsGeneratedBySexCrazedWeaslesPostingToUseNetForLackOfTheSeriouslyMeaningFulLifeThatOnlyReall

Anyone got a drieux decoder I could stick in my .emacs file???

FourCupsOfCoffeeAndAllThoseWordsCrammedTogetherAreJustTooMuchForMyCoarsePerception

--

"Life is like a big C program with no documentation"  - Ted Slater

	\\\\\sean/////
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:28320 rec.arts.poems:8543 alt.sex.bondage:16665
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.arts.poems,alt.sex.bondage
Subject: Re: RICHH:  NINJA IN HER BED--VILANELLE
Date: Tue,  1 Sep 92 04:01:48 PDT
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

	On The Occasion Of Having A Good Wank 
	-------------------------------------

i saw the pearl, the pearl behind your eyes
so round, complete and such an opalescence
i moved towards, i rolled in glee divine
to make that pearl behind your eyes all mine

you pulled the mask more tight around your face
i still found joy in such a glowing presence
i saw the pearl, the pearl behind your eyes
i fought with you to make you realise
that far from here, in places of surmise,
lives too a pearl, a pearl behind the eyes 

  
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant | Would You Like Fries With That?                 |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:27149 alt.prose:1141 alt.sex:27436 alt.sex.bondage:16285 alt.sex.stories:1541 alt.butt.harp:193
From: grendel@canetoad.UUCP (Rage y Romance)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.prose,alt.sex,alt.sex.bondage,alt.sex.stories,alt.butt.harp
Subject: Re: RICHH:  TELL ME SOMETHING TO MAKE ME HATE YOU
Distribution: world
Date: 23 Aug 92 23:21:31 EDT
Organization: The Satellite of Love

In article <!2-n==.richh@netcom.com> richh@netcom.com (richh) writes:

Rich, I like you man. No really! I do. 

Yes, I know what you're thinking, I've never met you but I can tell 
from this article I would like you. 

I like you so much I'm to give you one of my special wishes I only give
people I love.

Here it is Rich:
	Rich I wish that you were in a really big, over populated prision
	in the South.
	I wish that in this prison 23 hours out of 24 you spent bent
	over a lice infested cot with 900 inmates, all called,"Bubba."
	lined up behind you.

	The one hour Rich, I mean the ONE hour, were Bubba wasn't 
	teaching how to squeal like a pig you would spend cleaning
	the prison toilet with your tongue.

That's what I wish for you Rich. No, no don't thank me! When I feel
love like this it would be a sin for me to keep it to myself.

Love, best wishes and here's hoping something heavy falls on your
genitals soon. xxxooo

--
"You notice how knees don't bend sideways? | ...uunet!canetoad!grendel
 Here, let me help you with that".         | canetoad!grendel@uunet.uu.net
 		 	        Badger     |
        				   |
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Philippine stories
Date: 3 Sep 92 14:36:57 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

I would just like to say that the nickname of Ferdinand Marcos II
is "Bong-Bong" and not "Bongo" as I had previously stated.

I apologise for any confusion caused.

Jason
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:28706 alt.fan.letterman:199
From: walrus@bessel.umd.edu (Grig Larson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.fan.letterman
Subject: Re: THE CREATION OF ALT.FAN.LETTERMAN
Date: 3 Sep 92 15:06:19 GMT
Organization: Punkadyne Industries(tm)

In article <1992Sep2.072846.3470@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> eodell@nyx.cs.du.edu (Eugene O'Dell) writes:
>In article <1992Sep2.062814.1949@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> mperlman@nyx.cs.du.edu (Marshal "Airborne" Perlman) writes:
>>A simple joke..after all..this was my idea as a newsgroup!
>
>Here's a cookie.  Enjoy!                               
>
>Anyhow, regarding Dave, am I the only one who misses the dropping of 
>stuff off of semi-tall buildings?  Ahh...  those were the days.
>--

Yeah (wistfully sighs)... I miss the steamroller, the hydraulic press, and
a lot of the stupid stunts they used to do.  I still like the show, but the
flavor isn't what it used to be.
 
ObOpenCanOfWorms:
 
Now what about Lettermen getting pissed at Leno, and maybe moving to ABC
next year?  I heard a rumor (oh, TV Guide...) that:

1- Letterman was pissed at Leno getting the slot.  Carson Productions, who
   not only did Johnny Carson, but still does Letterman, had unofficially
   guarenteed that slot for Dave when Johnny left.
2- Letterman's contract runs out in March(?) of 1993.  He has spoken with
   ABC, although no decisions have been released yet.
3- If he does move to ABC and get the 11:30pm slot, Nightline will be pushed
   back.  If this happens, Ted Koppel will leave.  11:30 was guarenteed to
   him.
4- Letterman is very hard to read.  I saw him on the Barbra Walters Special
   a while back.  He seems like he didn't want anyone to know his feelings.
5- Dana Carvey will get that slot if Letterman leaves. (Isn't that special..:)
Some of my comments:

1- Leno's Tonight Show shot down in quality immediately after he took over.
   Now, I know their budget was cut by 60% when NBC hired them after Carson
   Prod left with Johnny, but they could do better.  They went half-Arsenio
   Hall, which makes the Carson veiwers mad, and they will turn it off, and
   the Arsenio fans will watch Arsenio.  They lost a lot of identity.
2- Maybe Leno will do so bad, they'll move Letterman down, but I doubt it.
   I have a feeling they'll replace Leno first.



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