From: parr@acs.ucalgary.ca (Charles Parr)
Newsgroups: rec.org.sca
Subject: Re: Murphy's Laws of Combat.
Date: 22 Jul 92 15:01:36 GMT
Organization: The University of Calgary, Alberta

In article <9207201807.AA10520@hp.com> sommerfeld@apollo.hp.COM writes:
>What with Pennsic coming up, this might be a (little) appropriate.
>(anyone want to do a rewrite for rattan combat :-) ?)
>
>			MURHPY'S LAWS OF COMBAT
>			-----------------------
>
>  1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
>
>  2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
>
>  3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
>
>  4. There is always a way.
>
>  5. The easy way is always mined.
>
>  6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
>
>  7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are
>dangerous.
>
>  8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
>     a. when you're ready for them.
>     b. when you're not ready for them.
>
>  9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
>
> 10. If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
>
> 11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main
>attack.
>
> 12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow
>down.
>
> 13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
>
> 14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
>
> 15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
>
> 16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able
>
>     to get out.
>
> 17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
>
> 18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat
>zone.
>
> 19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
>
> 20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.


  Quite a few months ago, I wrote these up for the clinton war,
  and posted them to the net:


  Syr Murphy's laws of SCA combat.


  1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

  2. Incoming arrows have the right of way.

  3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.

  4. There is always a way.

  5. The easy way is always jammed with knights.

  6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on arrows.

  7. Knights and counts are predictable, it's the damned newbies
      that are dangerous.

  8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

       a. When you're ready for them.
 
       b. When you're not ready for them.

  9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.

 10. If you can't remember, the shield wall in front of you is the enemy.

 11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

 12. A seven inch dent in your helm is natures way of telling you to
     lighten up your guage.

 13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

 14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

 15. Anything you do can get you shot, except leaving your archery mesh at 
     home
 16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to reach you and you won't be able 
     to kill him.

 17. Never share a schiltron with anyone braver than yourself.

 18. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you have been flanked.

 19. This is SCA. The general manages a McDonalds, and the guy guarding
     your flank believes Elvis is still alive. The guy on the other flank
     not only believes elvis is still alive, but talks to him at K-Mart.
     ...Good thing there is no steel on the field, huh?

 20. Never forget that your armour was built by the lowest bidder


**********************************************
Modified by Carolus Mediocris...From an original posted in rec.humor.
*********************************************
-- 
Within the span of the last few weeks I have heard elements of
separate threads which, in that they have been conjoined in time,
struck together to form a new chord within my hollow and echoing
gourd. --Unknown net.person