From: dmf@aber.ac.uk (Darren Michael Forbes)
Newsgroups: talk.origins,alt.atheism
Subject: A Theory of Creation (first draft)
Summary: See abstract
Keywords: creationist God LORD Darwin fish chips wood carpenter
Date: 15 Oct 92 15:43:01 GMT
Organization: University of Wales, Aberystwyth


                        A Theory of Creation,
                                by
          Darren M. Forbes BSc. and Jonathan M. Ashley BSc.
          dmf@aber.ac.uk                     jma@aber.ac.uk

          Communications should be addressed to the authors.


Abstract
--------
A complete grand unified theory of creation is presented to account for the
existence of the universe, the planet Earth, and the observed organic life
inhabiting the aforementioned planet.

Introduction
------------
The theory is based upon the premise that the universe was created by a
singular deity in a period of approximately seven days[1]. This deity will
hereafter be referred to as "God", or "the LORD".

  It should be noted that for the purposes of this paper a day does not
necessarily cover the same period of time as that which would be measured by
observing the duration of a single revolution of the Earth upon its axis.

The theory
----------
The LORD created the universe intact in a period of seven days, including all
species which are currently found on this planet. Contrary evidence was
simultaneously created in an integrated and apparently misleading manner for
reasons yet to be explained, although various hypotheses have been
advanced[2,3].

Results
-------
Measurements were made over a period in excess of 40 days and 40 nights using
standard physical sensations, and preliminary results would appear to confirm
that the Earth and surrounding firmament does in fact exist[3].
A thought experiment was conducted[6], indicating that the participants
existed. We have also directly observed the existence of organic life in
divers forms as predicted by the theory, specifically fish and birds[1,8,9].
Furthermore, much evidence directly contradicting the theory has been
observed, again as predicted[4,5].

Conclusions
-----------
The universe exists and God did it. It is populated by a number of sentient
and non-sentient life forms. The theory is sufficiently flexible to encompass
all observable evidence.

  The authors believe that this exciting new theory merits much further
research and massive funding. In particular, we would like to see more time
spent gathering contradictory supporting evidence, viz. fossils, geological
dating, etc.


References
----------
[1] The Bible
    God the Father, God the Son, et. al., Collins, 1367, many reprints.
[2] Ultimate Questions
    John Feelgood, Christian Evangelical Press, 1990.
[3] WatchTower, vol. 28 no. 7 pp.1-8
    author unk., 1987.
[4] The Origin of Species
    C. Darwin, Oxford University Press, 1883.
[5] Private communication
    The LORD, various dates.
[6] The Critique of Pure Reason, 2nd edition
    R. Descartes, Existential Press, 1904.
[7] Software Engineering Environments, vol. 3
    ed. F. Long, Wiley 1992.
[8] The Beginner's Bumper Book of Birds
    C.P. Larch, et. al., Ladybird, 1972.
[9] Fly Fishing
    J.R. Hartley, Firebird Press, 1989, reprinted twice.