From: kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu (christopher zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Prime Time Wreslting - 4/1/93
Date: 6 Jan 93 01:48:07 GMT
Organization: University of California, Riverside

The last WWF Prime Time Wrestling Report, for the show broadcast on the USA
Network 4.1.93

After a final look at the obsolete opening credits (Bye Piper, bye Duggan, fare
the well LOD, See ya Perfect pencil throw), we see our hosts, Bobby "the Brain"
Heenan, Vince McMahon, and Gorilla Monsoon in a minimalist studio.  Once again
Vince reminds us that starting next week, we will get to watch "Monday Night
Raw," live from Midtown Manhattan.  And, once again, we are reminded that Bobby
Heenan will not be a part of the new show.

Our first "memorable moment" from PrimeTime history is a segment from "The Bobby
Heenan Show," where a rather large, bellydancing woman massages Jamison by
walking on his back.

The Headshrinkers v. The Miracle Jobber Combination (All commentary by Gorilla
Monsoon and Bobby "the Brain" Heenan)  For those of you who forgot, the MJC is
**EL** Matador and Virgil, who come out to Virg's music.  The first two minutes
are spent with the commentators telling us how great Carlos Colon is (he's in
the Rumble Royale, you know).  I was convinced, he's gonna win, boy.  Santana
and Samu start.  Lockups, breakups, although Santana does get to kiss the
canvas.  Staredown.  Heenan thinks that the Headshrinkers are THE #1 team, but
since they can't get the belts until a face team has it, I don't think he'll be
tested on that theory.  Lots of hip tosses from Tito and back to the staredown.
Arm wringer by Santana, tag to Virgil, arm wringer continued, tag to
Santana...see a pattern?  Double elbow and cover for zero.  As Samu slaps
Santana to shift the momentum, we take an ad break.  Interestingly enough,
during an ad for "Dr. Mario" Nintendo cartridges, we see a man with a shrunken
head singing to us.  Hmmmm.  When we return (at the exact same moment in the
match!) both men tag and Virgil takes command against Fatu.  Virgil gets a
crucifix for 2.  Back suplex by Fatu and the tide turns.  Chokeholds, munch on
the skull.  Fatu runs Virgil into his partner's head.  Tag.  "Reverse thrust
kick."  Commanding wrestling until Samu misses a move and meets the cornerpost.
Tag to Santana, who does that house afire bit until, just before the flying
forearm, he has the nerve to bounce off the ropes next to Afa.  Trip.  Of
course, the referee missed it taking care of an illegal Samoan.  After beating
on Santana for awhile, Fatu gets hit in the head, but quickly recovers before
Tito tags.  Virgil comes running out, causing the ref to turn his back (yes,
friends, Virgil still hasn't learned) but instead of the double team, Samu
clobbers his partner by mistake.  Santana gets the tag, and it's Virgil's turn
to be the house (on fire).  With both Samoan's in, Virgil slams both heads into
the canvas.  Oops.  They get back up instantly.  Virgil slams both heads into
each other.  Double oops.  Both Samoan's simultaneously head butt Virgil, and
that's about it.  For some reason, Santana was way too far off to save his
partner.  One finishing move later and it's done.

Vince reminds us about the Rumble Royale prize, the winner faces the Clown at
WrestleMania 9 for the WWF Title.  Heenan says it would be a safe bet that Ramon
will hold the Title at WM9, and Vince and Monsoon try to twist this into a
non-endorsement of Ric Flair.

Memorable moment:  In the old West, some bandits blow up Bobby Heenan with
dynamite.  He isn't amused.

Terrific Terry Taylor v. Dale Wolfe.  Taylor looks just about ready to steal
Horowitz' pat on the back, which he better not.  Lots of that good mat wrestling
stuff, which I couldn't appreciate as the commentators kept blathering on and on
about RR.  Wolfe does a Spiccoli job, allowing Taylor to do lots of moves,
including the "halfplex nelson," a suplex r.s.p-w needs to add to the list.
Listen to that audience crow.  Oh yeah, Taylor remembers the powerbomb, too.

WWF Mania ad.  "100% caffeine free!"  You know, at 10 in the morning on
Saturday, I WANT caffeine.  This isn't a selling point for me.

Heenan's "Narcissus" bit is run without an "Update" bumper.  It IS only an hour
show, after all.  Who is Narcissus?  Lex?  El?  Del?  Who cares, we'll know in
three weeks.  We go straight to Mean Gene Okerlund with the RRR.  Main event,
mention of (although not shown on PrimeTime) an Owen Hart job.  Vengeful Bret
Hart interview.  He's in trouble now.  Rumble participants are: Savage,
Undertaker, Money Inc. (interview--hey, what pals!), Perfect, Backlund,
Berzerker, Yokozuna, Tatanka, Flair (interview), New:  "The King" Jerry Lawler
(who was entered by virtue of his victory against....no, by virtue of his
performance in his match against....hey, why IS he in there?), Earthquake,
Carlos :, Crush, Papa Shango, and Rick "The Model" Martel.  New Match:  Steiner
Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers.  Steiner interview, see their match report for a
review.

Promos:  ICOPRO (Hart), WWF Figures, Slim Jim (Savage)

Vince mistakenly includes Duggan in the RR roster as he mentions everyone in the
Posters Magazine as participants.  The hosts debate whether Yokozuna will be
thrown out, and how.  Don't think we're being set up for a Yokozuna win.
Earthquake is mentioned, however.

Memorable moment:  Captain Heenan invites Monsoon aboard his yacht.  Listen for
the reference to Ravishing Rick Rude.

Shawn Michaels v. Skinner for the Intercontinental title.  Hey, another
heel/heel matchup!  I guess it doesn't matter who the champion is, every three
months or so Skinner gets an IC title shot whether he deserves it or not.
Michaels has a new (red) cow suit and appears to have re-tooled the belt.
Canned crowd chants "Marty...Marty..." and, for an encore, gives Skinner the
face treatment.  Michaels' style and finesse aren't much compared to Skinner's
power.  Michaels' flop is also subpar this week.  If only Skinner had done the
ALLIGATOR neckbreaker instead of that other one he did...sigh.  Michaels gets a
clean pin (surprise!) for no reason at all, and to make it even better, Skinner
is right next to the ropes when it happens.  I hate to say it, because I love
seeing face/face / heel/heel matches, but Michaels/Brunzell on Wrestling
Challenge was a better match for me.  Weird huh.

Memorable moment:  Hart does some painting, and so do the Nasty Boys, who
graffiti a Rockers portrait.

Sean Mooney tells us we can get MNR tickets just about anytime we want.

Vince gives us one more MNR plug while Heenan vows to be on the show.

Memorable Moment:  Andre the Giant coaxes Heenan into a little grape stomping.
Funnier than that "I Love Lucy" episode.

The Steiner Brothers v. Red Tyler and W.T. Jones.  Gee, GREAT music.  Hey, did
you catch that little smile between Rick and referee "Blind" Bill Alphonzo,
former WCW co-workers?  Heenan starts in on Rick's "earmuffs."  Between this
inset interview and the RRR interview, I think all WWF watchers were
well-introduced to that heartfelt, winning interview style which so enthralled
WCW viewers.  Is it just me, or does Scott say "Beverly Brothers" like that one
guy on the Fat Albert cartoons?  Lots of neat moves, ending in a 911 (or so I'm
told).  Oh yeah, there's also a Clown in the audience.

Promos:  GI Joe, Slim Jim (AGAIN?), "T2" Nintendo cartridges

One more MNR plug and out comes Jamison with an award for Heenan.  It's a corn
cob, "for the corniest guy on televison."  Heenan runs offstage and vomits.

What a striking ending.
What a way to go.

Zimmerman's index:
Crush/Clown feud buildup:  0.
Mention of Slam Jam:  0.
Alleged chance of wrestler with punctuation mark for last name winning RR:
1/30.
Real chance of wresler with punctuation mark for last name winning RR:  0/30.
Mention of Ultimate Warrior:  0.

Next Week:  Back "home" for me, and better formatting for you.  And, the first
"WWF Mania" report!

Christopher Robin Zimmerman              =I have my Royal Rumble ticket=
  / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu / zimmerma@ucrengr.ucr.edu /
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling