From: russw@cs.utexas.edu (Russ Williams)
Newsgroups: alt.transgendered
Subject: Receiving a hostile reaction to crossdressing
Date: 27 Jan 1993 00:24:41 -0600
Organization: Great Northern Hotel
NNTP-Posting-Host: im4u.cs.utexas.edu


Well, the inevitable (I suppose) finally happened; I got a really
hostile negative reaction while crossdressed.

Saturday night I went out CDed for the 6th time.  (If I keep this up,
I'll soon pass the milestone of not remembering how many times I've
done it!)  I went to a rave with my girlfriend & a male friend of ours.
We had a fine time dancing and hanging out until 2 or 2:30am, then
decided to go hit a 24-hour restaurant that's pretty mellow and
has a diverse alternative clientele.  (Kerbey Lane on S. Lamar for you
Austinites.)  There was a crowd, we waited a while and finally got
our table and ate, all with no problem.  I was wearing a neat black
off-the-shoulder cotton dress that looks vaguely vampire/witch (I
originally bought it back in October and used it during Halloween
week) with black hose and heels.  The unusual part :-) is my beard;
makes it immediately obvious I'm a guy in a dress.  So we're leaving,
paying at the cashier, when 2 skinheads notice me and start saying
"that's a guy" "sick" etc.  I didn't notice them at first -- I think
the evening had gone so well that I was completely oblivious to the
idea that people might have a negative reaction.  My girlfriend
noticed them first and asked "why are you all saying that stuff?" and
one raised his fist and chanted "White Power!"  Weird!  One never
knows what to do in situations like this... we decided to just leave
and not get further entangled with the pair.  As I walked past, the
drunker of the two pointed in my face and said "You're a sick
motherfucker!" then paused, obviously waiting for a reaction.  I
briefly pondered whether to reply in kind (which seemed
unconstructive) or with a cleverer insult (which would have been lost
on his alcohol-fuzzed brain) or what, and instead just casually
remarked "You're a friendly dude..."  He stared a moment then punched
me in the arm, whereupon I said "Oh, that's real mature" and we left. 
It clearly bugged him that he wasn't going to get a fight, because a
moment later he started to run out after us, but his friend grabbed
him and pulled him back in.

That was the end of the incident, but I've been thinking a lot about
it ever since.  Naturally, I think of all sorts of things I wish I'd
been clever enough to say or do at the time.  And for the first time
it struck home that public crossdressing is actually dangerous; I
mean, intellectually I know that a guy in a dress is more likely to
be a target of hostility, but to actually experience it personally is
something else.  I have no doubt that if I'd met them alone on a dark
street, instead of a crowded well-lit restaurant, they would have
earnestly tried to beat me up.  I'm angry that immature bigoted jerks
like that think they can hassle and punch a complete stranger who's
done them no harm.  I'm also certain that the incident will not
change my habits; to quit crossdressing would be to grant victory to
those hateful idiots.  I'm also uncertain what to do in future
similar situations: there are conflicting priorities.  In terms of
personal safety, it is probably best to try to ignore such bigots and
get out of the situation quickly.  In terms of the greater social
good, one could argue that it's best to calmly confront them as my
girlfriend did, asking why they are bothered and demonstrating that
just because one is nonstandard doesn't mean one is not a real
human being.  This of course increases one's chances of getting
punched in the face, or worse.

I'd be quite interested to hear about any similar incidents other
folks have had, and thoughts on methods of dealing with the
situation.

(On a tangent, I should mention that of course not all skinheads
are obnoxious bigots.  Indeed, when I first saw this pair but before
I realized what they were saying, it didn't occur to me that they
would act that way, since we'd just spent hours dancing with a
wide variety of friendly folks, many of whom looked similar to
these guys.)

(Oh, another tangent: by coincidence, the rave was at the Acropolis
club which has a unisex bathroom; that provided some interesting
pseudotransgenderish experience :-)

Russ
Newsgroups: alt.transgendered