From: cummingc@CS.ColoState.EDU (christopher cummings)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Lawyer Jokes
Date: 12 Apr 92 22:15:54 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Colorado State University, Computer Science Department


                     LAW AS IT SHOULD BE

     One evening after attending the theater, two gentlemen were
walking down the street when they observed a rather well dressed
and attractive young lady walking across from them.  One of the men
turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $50 to spend the night
with that girl."  To their surprise, the young lady overheard the
remark and in turning around, she said, "I'll take you up on that."
She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his 
companion goodnight, the man accompanied the lady to her apartment.

     The following morning, he presented her with $25 as he prepared 
to leave.  She demanded the rest of the money stating, "If you don't 
give me the other $25, I'll sue you for it."  He laughed saying, 
"I'd like to see you get it on these grounds!"

     The next day he was surprised when he received a summons ordering 
his presence in court as the defendant in a law suit.  He hurried
to his lawyer and explained the details of the case.  His lawyer 
said, "She can't possibly get a judgement against you on such
grounds, but it will be interesting to see how her case will be
presented."

     After the usual preliminaries, the lady's lawyer addressed
the court as follows:

     Your Honor, my client, the lady, is the owner of a piece of 
property.  A garden spot surrounded by a produce growth of 
shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the defendant
for a specified length of time for the sum of $50.  The defendant
took possession of the property and, used it extensively for the
purpose for which it was rented.  But, upon evacuating the premesis,
he paid only $25, one-half of the amount agreed upon.  The rent
was not excessive, since it is restricted property, and we ask
judgement to be granted against the defendant to assure payment
of the balance."

     The defendant's lawyer was impressed and amused at the way his
rival had presented the case.  His defence, therefore, was:

     "Your Honor, my client agrees that the young lady has a fine
piece of property, that he did rent such property for a time, and
a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction.  However,
my client found a wall on the property around which he placed his
own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump.  All labor being
performed personally by him.  We claim these improvements to the
property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount and that the
plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of said
property.  We, therefore, ask that the judgement not be granted."

     The young lady's lawyer's rebuttal was thus:

     "Your Honor, my client agrees that the defendant did find a
wall on her property, and that he did make improvements such as
my coleague has described.  However, had the defendant not known
the wall existed, he would never had rented the property.  Also,
upon evacuating the premesis; the defendant removed the stones, 
pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him.  In doing so, 
he not only dragged his equipment through the shrubbery, but left
the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making it
easily accessible to little children.  We, therefore, ask
a favorable judgement be granted."

And...



it was!!!!


--
Chris Cummings
cummingc@beethoven.cs.colostate.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor