From: slob@3;5~D8~$0NO}R_ber (Lein Noyuhz)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: YOU paid for it, now YOU suck on it.
Date: 30 Aug 92 01:43:48 GMT
Reply-To: root@uunet.uu.net
Followup-To: alt.fart,alt.bart,alt.cart.dart.tart.start.part.mart
Organization: the DESK of the BOB 9000 Series Computer

I am the one
Orgasmatron
the outstretched grasping hand

ooh, baby.

Now, Dick.

that's a big one you got there!
{
Hmph.

I liked it better when it wasn't as squishy.

Hail! Hail! Hail!

Ich bin ein Berliner!

I am not an animal.

Yeah, suck it baby.

Oop Oop Oop.  Oop.

What is this?

Who are you?

How did you get in here?

Is this some kind of bust?

Just like we're back in the Rusty Nail, eh?

Lemme just pull that out for you.

My EYE, BITCH!

Not so hard.

Be gentle with me.

No!

FUCK NO!

How about a goodnight kiss?

Fuck off, creep!

Does that feel any better?

Was it good for you, too?

FUCK NO!

Sympathy for the Devil.

Qabballistic practices have been used in Rock & Roll ever since
Elvis.

But the PRESIDENT!?!?

Don't fuck with him.

Touch his dick and he's dead.

Of course, Cthulhu could satisfy hundreds of women at once,

so much for pathos.

I need something here.

Jesus Jones and Jesus Christ... Ouch!

I always wondered what you did underneath the trenchcoat, Herr
Doktor!

You FOOLS! You think you have ruined my work!

They said I was mad at the Academy, but I'LL SHOW THEM!

Spread your legs a bit more.

Oh that's much better.


Do you like it when I lick this?

Stop it!

I told you I could make you giggle.

What KIND of snake is that?

He's an idiot.

He plays with matches, and she wanders around in the dark.

You just want to crawl all the way inside it, and if you can't
do that, well, then, just fuck it.

The history of who's fucking who

Oh, fuck.

Did we fuck last night?

I really want to fuck you.

Fuck me? Fuck ME?!? NO, FUCK YOU!!

Ah, fuck off, man.

Fuck this.

Fuck that.

Fuck me the other way.

Fuck me with your tongue.

OK, but Mr. Slippery wants to hitch a ride on the love boat tonight.

Oh christ, is that all you ever think about?

it's bloody lunacy if you ask me.

and they asked me if I could still fuck the young bitches, and I
said "I'm too glad I don't need that shit anymore, now that I'm
so damned old I cain just relax for a bit."

Stop sucking my cock for a minute and listen to what I'm trying to
tell you.

You suck.

You ALWAYS SUCKED.

Before time began,

YOU SUCKED.

Bitches, every single one of 'em.

You just fucking SUCK, is all I can say at this point.

You know that door-to-door salesman that sells vaccuum cleaners?

Well, that's a load of hog's dooey.

I'd piss on a spark plug

would it get you off?

How could it?

YOU STILL SUCK.

How can I put it nicely?

You no allow in heah.  Go away.

And Yet,

YOU STILL SUCK.

Well, I've been thinking.

Can I come in your mouth?

I can't even begin to describe to you just how much

YOU SUCK.

All I wanted was one.

don't touch my ring ding, motherfucker!

Well, I did get to say "Fuck me Raw" on MTV.

Oh, man.

that's twice you couldn't come

third times a charm.

IN YOU FACE, JACK.

No, no, I don't like that at all.

The way IN is the way OUT.

Damn, I really do love you.

YOU SUCK.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Give me another one.

So you were saying that you don't exist.

Could you show me the way to

no fucking way. no fucking way.

Come on, baby, come on, baby.

and then there was light and then there was darkness
and nobod really knew what was happening.

Eating brains, how does this make you feel?

Just for a day, an hour, a minute, for the most miniscule
segment{of human time, PLEASE.

'cuz I can Smell your Braaaaain.

YOU SUCK.

I just want you to know that.

From the bottom of my heart, I really feel that it's best.

Bullshit!  We've never been apart for more than an hour before!

I'll tell you what, right as you're going to come in me, we'll
jump off the side of the building and we'll pump with the
juciest orgasms ever experiences by humans before until we smash
our bodies into the lost misguided mass of blood and flesh that
eternally gyrates and pulsates, pumping semen into the crack of
eternity.

Sound good to me.