From: dtrytten@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu (Deborah Trytten)
Subject: Re: The Next Dog
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 21:10:34 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Engineering Computer Network, University of Oklahoma, Norman, OK, USA
Followup-To: rec.pets.dogs 

In article <kathy_buetow-131092131420@physio103-1.life.uiuc.edu> kathy_buetow@QMS1.life.uiuc.edu (Kathy Buetow) writes:
>In article <1992Oct13.150111.20381@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>,
>glb@uvacs.cs.Virginia.EDU (Gina Bull) wrote:
>> 
>> Early last Thursday morning my 11-year-old Cocker Spaniel, Shelley,
>> died peacefully in her sleep. 

My sympathies.  I've been there.

I don't remember who said it but...
	Dogs don't live long enough.  It's their only real fault.


>> Should we get a dog "just like" the one we had before, or deliberately
>> get one that is different in many respects (in this case, gender
>> and coat) in order to avoid comparisons?
>
>I personally feel that it is a *very, very, very* bad idea to replace
>a loss with a dog "just like __________".  Let me share a little
>story with you..........

... story of an absolute jerk of an owner expecting far too much from
a puppy deleted... 

I must admit that I don't consider this story to be relevant.   Obviously
Bob is an idiot.  I would presume that Gina's husband is not an idiot--
at least until told otherwise :-).  This type of extreme, unreasoning,
irresponsible individual is not an example of a normal person.   As such
they are *irrelevant* to the discussion of what Gina's presumably
caring, loving, gentle husband would do.  

I think that new dogs are *always* compared to old dogs, even if they
are of different breeds.   And as for waiting, this is a very 
personal thing.   I would have to get a new dog immediately if I
were to lose one of "the boys".   The last time we went down that
road, we suffered for five days without a dog.  That was *far* too
long for my family--but it may not be long enough for somebody else's
family.   I remember coming home and not hearing a dog (albeit a
deaf, blind, incontinent, 18 year old poodle) barreling to the door
to greet me--it was worse than the phone call from my parents saying
that the dogs were dead.  :-(   Once another dog was there, it was much
easier for me.  YMMV^1000. 

I also think that getting another dog quickly avoids a very sad
condition that I've seen far too many times: idolizing a dead dog
to the point of abandonment of dog ownership.   I've seen people
who adored their dogs eventually refuse to get another one because
it could never be as good as XXX.   In the saddest case of this, one
of my parents' friends used to carry his dead dog's collar and leash
in his pocket when he would go out to walk but refused to get a
new dog because "it could never walk like Casey".   To which I can
only say "Bull".  I've never known a dog that didn't like to walk
(except my folks' yorkie who is too small to really walk).   He was
just refusing to let go of his grief--and cheating himself out of
another wonderful companion (as well as cheating some dog out of a 
wonderful home).
 
I grew up with a lovely brown poodle.  Five days after he died, my
parents went out and got another brown poodle.   I don't think that
I compare their brown poodle to the one of my childhood anymore than
I compare my shelties to my childhood poodles.   Interestingly enough,
we had this same discussion at the time.  My mother and I wanted to
get a different breed of dog (for all the reasons discussed here).
Dad looked at us with tears in his eyes and said "But all I want is 
another brown poodle".  He was right.  Thank goodness we listened
to his heart.

And Kathy, I think you're a saint for doing that kind of rehabilitation
work.  I admire your patience and kindness.    Hugs, kisses, and milkbones
to Oreo. 

Deborah Trytten
dtrytten@uokmax.ecn.uoknor.edu