From: kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu (christopher zimmerman)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: WWF Royal Rumble - 1993
Keywords: Hey, what's one more?
Date: 25 Jan 93 20:37:29 GMT
Organization: University of California, Riverside

I got up at 7:55, pumped, ready to Rumble.  The car-lag of a six hour
drive from Riverside to Modesto was long forgotten.  I showered and put on
my Fair-to-Flair outfit (navy blazer, Tom Brokaw shirt, nice tie, nice
pants...and tennis shoes), knowing that as a WWF fan, I'd never get to wear
it again.

At 8:30, my good friend (and wrestling mentor) Joe Mendes picked me up, and
we went to Joe's brother Robert's house, where Robert was going to drive us
to Sacramento.  Joe and I had decided to provide each of us with signs.  I
had already decided on "BRING BACK KATO" while Joe went for the cameras with
"GET WELL SOON CRUSH".  After careful deliberation, we put a giant "HUSS" on
the third sign in case we needed to lead a cheer.

By 10, we were in Sacramento.  We stopped at the Buttercup Pantry for break-
fast, and were amazed to see a WWF semi parked at a nearby hotel.  Joe 
suggested that that was the one Vince lugged all the wrestlers around in.

By the time we sat down to eat, an older couple was just finishing.  Both were
wearing Undertaker shirts.  I guess they were bigger fans than us.

We got to Arco about 11, and to our horror no one had been let in yet.  Joe
bought a $5 program, and we sat in line.  We had more fun listening to the
marks behind us ("Yo man, the arm was filled with metal homie...") talk about
Crush.  Joe and I dared each other to start up a "HUSS" chant, but we both
chickened out.

They let us in at 11:45, an hour before the official start.  We had Row A
seats, just to the right of camera range.  We decided we'd wasted a lot of 
time on our signs, but would try to get them on camera at the beginning of
the show anyway.

At 12:45, the Fink came out.  He got an ovation, but not too many people stood.
I was disappointed that they didn't play the national anthem like they did
at the house shows (of course, the last show I attended had Hulk/Piper v.
Sid/Flair as the ME), instead we went right into the dark match.

As soon as "Crank it Up" started up, I let out a loud "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
But it was Jim Powers.  We were expecting some sort of tag match, and didn't
know who was going to crush Powers.  Imagine our surprise, when out came 
Doink with a big cardboard box.

Doink's music is perfect, by the way.  We really thought this could be screwed
up, but it's the perfect carnival dirge.

The match lasted about ten minutes, and ended with Powers submitting to
what looked like a half crab with a twist.  We didn't expect it at all, esp-
ecially what with Powers not submitting to any of a number of more painful-
looking moves.

Doink, alone in the ring, moved to the center with his box.  Carefully he
opened it and raised it above his head.  Quickly, he turned it over, revealing
the contents:  Nothing!  We laughed, the audience booed.

And now, repetitive comments about the entire match.

Beverly Brothers v. Steiner Brothers.  Apparently, people are starting to
notice that The Genius has moved to England.  The Beverlies were better
than anyone expected, which seemed to make the Steiners more impressive.  Of
course, we knew the match wouldn't end without a Frankensteiner.

For the second time, Arco personnel were escorting two women, youngish, dressed
in prostitute outfits, away from close seats to their real seats.  We couldn't
figure out who they were dressed for, although we saw several others close to
the ring.

Martyr Jannetty v. Shawn Michaels.  OK match, although I kept arguing with Joe
about whether Sherri looked better or not (I said she did, Joe was skeptical).
The guy sitting next to me worshipped Michaels...hm.

Bam Bam Bigelow v. Big Boss Man.  Snoozer.  I should've bought some nachos,
but I was expeting an intermission.

Bret Hitman Hart v. Razor Ramon.  We didn't notice Ramon's knee injury, 
although most of the match had Hart "attacking" Ramon's knee.  We cheered
wildly when Ramon got out of the sharpshooter, and Joe got to see Ramon
say "Thassit!"  I wanted to see Hart take one of the moves, but he didn't get
dropped from the corner, and he didn't get slapped in the Razor's Edge.  I
was disappointed.  Also, we didn't know Stu and Helen were in front of us.
And man, does Hart's hot pink not translate to television.

The Narcissist Lex Luger...again, I should've bought those nachos.  I guess
I was hoping to see Perfect come out, but I should have known better.  For
some reason, everybody kept standing and I couldn't see Luger.  The crowd
had worked up a pretty good "Weasel" chant, but by the time the cameras were
rolling it had died down.

By now, we've figured there was no intermission, and no Moon/Taylor match
either, although the program trumpeted it.  There has been no announcement
of the replacements for the Rumble.  For some reason, nobody minds being in
the dark.

Cleopatra had on a great dress, which didn't translate to television, but
then, her cleavage didn't translate to live viewing like it did on TV either.

Flair comes out, and we're wooooing like madmen.  Backlund comes out, and
I'm shocked to hear some cheering, although I'm heartened to hear some
booing too.

Shango comes out, and Flair and Backlund do not seize up, amazingly.  I 
thought it was cool that Flair chucked him instead of Backlund, though.
No one knew about Shango's seperated shoulder, I guess, although it was
mentioned on "Superstars" ("He heeled it himself, with voodoo!"  Right.)

What else...we cheered like crazy for Virgil (for laughs), "HUSS"ed it up
for the Berzerker, and crowed (and we weren't alone here) for Taylor.
The guy next to me didn't know who Max Moon was.  Seeing Moon and Taylor
made me feel cheated out of a match.  We didn't see Virgil get thrown out,
either.  We decided it must have happened when Koko and DiBiase teamed up
(Cool!) to help Perfect out of the ring.  And it wasn't really Lawler...
DiBiase gave Perfect a boot to the head, and Perfect let go.

We were saddened to see Virgil and Koko go at it.  We cheered for Skinner,
knowing he had no chance.  We counted down like maniacs.  You could always
tell when the clock was going to start, because they'd turn on the video wall.

El Gigante was pretty well recognized.  We agreed that the beard was a plus,
but there had to be a better way to put fur on him besides an Ultimate Warrior
body suit.  PLEASE.

The Undertaker got the most deafening cheers, almost as loud as Caesar's theme.

The seven guys teaming up on Yokozuna was up there in the cheers, too.

I couldn't believe the "We Want Bob" chant.  I cheered the Berzerker chairing
him, although I missed seeing them go outside (See: Koko/Ted/Perfect/King).

When Backlund finally DID get thrown out (I decided that Backlund had to set
a new record so next year they couldn't mention Flair), it was about 50-50
cheers and boos.  I almost think Vince's magic is working again.  By the end,
I was rooting for Backlund, mostly because I didn't want 'Zima to win, but
I liked the fact that he could still dropkick after an hour (and 43 years).

We didn't have a clue why Savage tried to pin 'Zima, but we liked the futile
offense nonetheless.

The "USA" chant didn't come through on TV.

I kept waiting for 'Zima to clothesline Caesar, but no luck.

At the end, a herd of Japanese photographers walked by us, we didn't know it
at the time, but those are the same ones you saw at the end of the pay-per-
view shooting pix of 'Zima with Fuji.

Was 'Zima saying "Samoa"?

We had dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Downtown Sacramento, and drove
home playing "Jake the Snake vs. The Million Dollar Man:  The Card Game"

When we got back to Modesto, we borrowed a tape of the PPV, and watched the
whole thing again.  And as if that wasn't enough, Joe and I are going to 
San Jose tonight.  Joe is taking the "HUSS" sign, and I am making a Barry
Horowitz sign which I WILL shove at every camera I find.

Tomorrow:  San Jose, and a Monday Night Raw report.

Christopher Robin Zimmerman
  / kzim@ucrmath.ucr.edu / kzim@watserv.ucr.edu / zimmerma@dimaggio.ucr.edu /