From: clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu Ayala)
Subject: Re: Keeping in mind that this is AmeriKKKa
Organization: Nynex Science and Technology
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 13:35:41 GMT

In article <14ktknINNgtu@agate.berkeley.edu> judyy@ocf.berkeley.edu writes:

><sarcasm mode on> Hey, my fellow chinks, japs, yellow peril bananas, and
>orientals, let's forget this race conflict stuff. Racism against Asian Ameri-
>cans doesn't exist! Man, don't we just hate being lactose intolerant, short, 
>and hairless? Don't we hate our jaundiced skin color and lack of a double
>eyelid? Well, I'm gonna let you in on a secret, my brothers and sisters, I'll
>tell you how you can get equality for yourself at the expense of all those 
>other Asian Americans. 

  Oh please tell me.  I hate everything about our barbaric culture
  and face it, our looks are pathetic.  What other Asian Americans???
  I'm NOT one of them.
>
>MARRY A WHITE PERSON! (tip from shchen) 
>
>Then your kids, if they're lucky, will look just like _real_ Americans, and
>you can flaunt your white mate in front of them Asians who are just so 
>pathetic that they can't get one. Ha ha, I got mine, how 'bout you?
>
  I just got the Biobottoms catalog from Petaluma California, featuring
  cute babies galore.  You know what?  If I marry a white and have a
  half-white girl, she'd be a famous model!  Did you see all the Eurasian
  girls they got in their catalog?  I better have amnio done to make sure
  I don't have a boy, because only white boys were good enough to get in
  their catalog.  Boys ain't got no chance unless they're white.

>And if you ever walk down the street, those people won't be callin' you a 
>chink or tell you to go back where you came from (where? Georgia?) because
>you've got your white savior, your white prize! Ha ha, it's that easy to do
>away with anti-Asian prejudice! Yeah, we're White! What are all those Black
>people complaining about? Why don't they just follow our suits and get a 
>White SO too? The more you pander up and flatter White people with your
>lust for them and their looks, the more they'll like you, ya dig? Look at
>Michael Jackson! The whiter he got, the more those white women screamed and
>yelled for him! Don't you want your piece of the coconut pie too?

  Man, it's the AmeriKKKan dream-boat.  Only problem, people might think
  I don't deserve such a prize.  They still might hate me for taking one
  of theirs.  I guess I gotta dye my hair and wear sun-glasses.  
  The future's so white, gotta wear shades, that is, until my eye surgery.
  By the way, where did Michael get that nose job?  I want one too!
>
>Well I could go on, but right now I'm gonna put on my Suzy Wong act and get
>me a white man. There is no such thing as Asian American unity, so why bother
>getting any respect as a group?

  All right Judy.  Don't waste your time posting.  I know a lot of saviors who'll
  be tripping over their feet to volunteer!  Let's just cancel the group
  while we're at it.  The guys can get their Caucasian Female Goddesses(tm)
  and we can sign up for our Great White Saviors(tm).  Gee, I just have a 
  little problem: Does anyone want to take my Puerto Rican PitBull off my 
  hands first? Dang, I knew I should've kept that Icelandic Husky when I 
  had the chance.  I mean White people are just the bestest.  
  And you know why they think they're God's Gift?  BECAUSE THEY ARE!!! 
  Wow! and it only took me 32 years to figure that out.  Thanks Judy!
  You're a true sistah!  Ooops, you mean you have nothing in common with me?
  Sorry...  We be white wanna-bees, ooh, ooh, ooh.

>
>Judy Y. Tseng
>judyy@ocf.berkeley.edu

  Clare Chu
  (for the sarcasm impaired:  geek off!)

Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american