From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: RIP
Keywords: more
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 19:19:42 GMT

Sorry, I've been... sigh... it's *hard* answering some of these; but all
the advise everyone's been giving *has* been helping.  I know I haven't
answered everyone's notes, but I have been appreciating all the help and
love... and I want you all to *know* that.

Liralen

In article <1992Dec15.180320.11830@news.Hawaii.Edu> mwasson@uhunix.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu (Michael Wasson) writes:
>Then he walks over to his friend and solemnly offers a hug. "Oh dear,
>Liralen, this one's hard. The thing you *don't* want to do is get
>everybody over to his house only to have them sit around acting sad
>and weepy, like a wake before he's gone yet.

She accepts the hug quietly, just wrapping her arms around him and enjoying
the feeling of being safely held for a moment amid someone else's warmth
and concern.  Then accepts the hot mocha gratefully, sipping the warmth to
fight the cold inside.

>"Diamanda Galas may have put it best, with a line about 'smiling, crying
>faces who in mourning now have come to pay their last respects.'"

Liralen nods.

>"What is his medical condition? Is he at all mobile? Maybe all his
>friends could take him somewhere, to visit a special place that he
>loves, maybe somewhere outdoors. (Tho' then there might be a 
>problem with winter weather? Sorry if I'm a little out of touch 
>being in Hawai'i.) Is he religious? Could everyone organize a
>Christmas eve midnight mass or a Channukah observance or whatever's 
>appropriate? If something like that would have meaning for him.
>Any other suggestions from our fellow Callahanians?"

She sighs, "They give him about a week or two, so he's too weak, really to
go anywhere.  And, you were right about visitors and stuff, I've talked
with the others about organizing visits and support and cards and stuff.
And he's too weak and the family's too messed up to really cope with a
huge party and such.  The season celebration's going to be a quiet one,
and for the weeks that are left, we're thinking of just having a different
family bring a meal each day and having visits with that, too."  

Liralen smiles at Gecko Boy, "Great advise from your experience about the
visits, we needed to know that, becuase I know we might have just gone in
enmass once or twice instead of spreading it out the way we are now without
it." 

>"No, Liralen, you aren't at all strange. This is a totally normal
>reaction -- one I had when my father & his boyfriend got sick --
>You're just having a response in a time of crisis that you focus
>on the immediate details and what needs to be done *now*. Just
>remember that after this is all over it may suddenly hit. Or it
>may hit you six months later."

She sighs, "Yeah, you're probably right.  I just can't and don't feel that
way, right now."  She grins a lopsided grin, "Yeah... too much planning and
*doing* to be done."

>Gecko-boy takes her hand in his scaly one and gives it a quick squeeze,
>his eyes glittering. "<sigh> Dear Liralen...."

Liralen laughs softly, not unkindly, "Thank you.  Like the others, I'm
rather glad that you can cry for me, while I really can't."  She offers him
another hug.
-- 
Phyllis Rostykus     | "... and how you feel can make it real  | - _US_
aka Liralen Li       | Real as anything you've seen            |   Peter
li@inigo.Data-IO.com | Get a life with this dreamer's dream."  |   Gabriel
Newsgroups: alt.callahans