HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Anti-Freeze/Much too Cold!
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 21:58:25 GMT

Alfvaen listens with a fair amount of disbelief to Sundog's post.  (Okay, reads
it, whatever.)  He checks the email address again, and the sig.  No, Miami for
sure.  He then goes up to Sundog and says, "So what are you doing in Florida?
And where do you get your extensive knowledge of subzero temperatures?

"Obviously you're more fit to be a Canadian than DM is, the wimp who can't
handle 10 degrees Celsius..."

--
---Alfvaen(a.k.a. Aaron V. Humphrey, Page of Newts)
Canadian Network For Space Research, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
"The bullroarer churns a Moebius strip of sound..."  Anna Amabiaca
Current Album--Squeeze:Babylon And On
Current Read--Barry N. Malzberg:Overlay
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mss2@quads.uchicago.edu (Michael S. Schiffer)
Subject: Re: A return
Reply-To: mss2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 04:45:06 GMT

In article <1992Jul20.221931.197@doc.bmd.trw.com> dirbze@doc.bmd.trw.com writes:
>In article <1992Jul20.061006.1914@ucc.su.OZ.AU>, mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar) writes:
>>> [kitten:]
>>>"of course you guys think anything below 50 farenheit is COLD....."  :)...
>> 
>> Danger Mouse is silent as he works out the conversion...
>> "Ten Celcius! That's not cold! That's _freezing_!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

>Dirbze looks up, a little confused...
>"Ten Celsius is freezing???  I thought Zero Celsius was freezing!!


	"Yeah!  How do you like those durn furriners?  Not only do
they adopt these newfangled measurement systems, but any time it looks
like we might figure it out, they go and change it on us.   Makes you
a bit... suspicious, doesn't it?  I mean, next thing you know they'll
tell us that a meter is _really_ half a mile, or a gram is _really_ a
measure of volume!  They'd almost convinced me, but now they've tipped
their hand.

	"Okay, admit it.  There's really no such thing as a "metric
system"-- it's all just random numbers you pretend to use to confuse
us, like those alleged "other languages" that people claim to speak.
As if everyone doesn't speak perfectly good English (albeit with an
accent) when we're not around, just like we see in the movies!  Well,
you can be quite certain I won't be fooled by this metric nonsense a
_second_ time-- that's for sure!"

:-) :-) :-)

MIchael
-- 
Michael S. Schiffer, LHN, FCS	"Workers of the world, forgive me.
mss2@midway.uchicago.edu	 You had more to lose than I thought."
mike.schiffer@um.cc.umich.edu	 -- Karl Marx (1990) as imagined by
mss2@usite-next.uchicago.edu     Jim Koncz (konc@midway.uchicago.edu)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: joint post on discrimination, long!
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 00:05:57 GMT

In article <1992Jul23.195605.19127@news.iastate.edu>, SG.MML@isumvs.iastate.edu (M. Loughin) writes:
>>I think you're wrong there (or, more accurately, I think you're right, but not
>>the way you intended to be).  Comparing the way Caltech faculty and students
>>behave on a basketball court to the way I've seen other men behaving on the
>>basketball court, and assuming that a similar relationship holds when they're
>>playing volleyball, I'd expect that the behavior of most men toward other men
>>in a volleyball game would be much the same as the behavior you described
>>of men toward women, with the following exception:  I wouldn't expect to see
>>one man virtually push a better mail player out of the way so he could hit the
>>ball;  I expect to see him actually push a better player out of the way.
>
>Yes, I've seen such behavior on the basketball court.  But
>volleyball is a much more civilized game (except in the back yard).
>I am talking about organized, league competition.

Ah!  There's the difference.  I was talking about typical non-league volleyball
games I've seen at Caltech.  They weren't very organized.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: HF.TXG@forsythe.stanford.edu (TJ)
Subject: Re: and stuff.. as always..
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 18:53:51 GMT

In article <1992Jul30.173411.20071@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca>,
aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey) writes:
>rowanf@crc.ricoh.com (Rowan Fairgrove) writes:
>: Gypsy walks over to the chalk board to view Manx's
>: Tom Swifties.  My in-laws are all crazy about this
>: form of word play.  Let's see.  She leans down and
>: adds another line below Manx's
>:
>: "We can tie up at either pier", said Tom, paradoxically.
>:
>: If this goes on, I will probably remember others...  Say,
>: Mike, better make sure the peanut supply is topped up!
>
>Alfvaen wonders that no one has come up with his favourite...
>
>"This bouquet's missing a flower," Tom said lackadaisically.
>
>--
TJ groans, "That one was literally painful...MIke, hurry up with
those peanuts!"
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: More of Nathan being Depressed. (feel free to skip this)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 23:20:16 GMT

nathan:

>>  I'm feeling like I don't belong in.  Mostly what I feel
>>  is intimidated by the other Callahaners.
>>

john:

>       Hmmmm.  It's taken me days to get to replying to this, and I am still
>not sure how to reply.

>     If you don't feel like you are the best or brightest debator on 
>Callahans, you shouldn't worry.  I don't think I've ever seen Didi debate
>people on anything, yet she seems to be well loved by all.

>     And if you can't make the most beautiful posts, either to sing your
>happiness to the world, or to cheer up that person you know is unhappy,
>well. . . there's a mule I'm fond of quoting who says the following:
>    "Well, I'm not very bright, but it seems to me that, while there's a 
>strongest person on a tug of war team, if you take  away ANYONE from the 
>team, they still lose."

>      Dunno. . .sometimes, you CAN take th weakest person from the tug of 
>war, and they'll win. . . but sometimes, you need every pair of hands you
>have!  And that's why you shouldn't despair on things like that.

>      I dunno.  You may not be able to speak beautifully (*I* can't) or
>argue well (I can, once in a while) or even be funny and vivacious. . . 

"john...you were doing just fine till you got to the last sentence
before this one...you have a way with words that is unlike anyone
else's ....and it IS beautiful..."  

>      But you can love.  And I never know of a time when when a little more
>loving wasn't appreciated.
> 

"amen"...

kitten hugs john...and nathan too...

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mdm@sparc2.Prime.COM (Michael D. McAfee)
Subject: a really silly post
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 18:24:38 GMT

The dark elf goes up to Nightstalker:

	"'stalker.  'stalkayyyy.  'stalkster.  The 'stalkmeister.  Senor Stalkos.  Baron von Stalkheim.  M'siuer de Stalkaire.  Doing the stalk thing.

	"'stalker."

[I'm sorry, but I was in a really silly mood.  Smileys where appropriate.]

Michael, the Silly- I mean, the Chaotic
disclaimer: 	every day and in every way, my employers are happy that I don't speak for them
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: The New Kid
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 01:49:50 GMT



>> The New Kid peers uncertainly in the sudden light after her dark corner. 
>> She clears her throat.
>> "Ahem. Yeah, I'm another unlurker(sp?). There seem to be a lot of us lately. 
[   ]

>Tigger, having come out of nowhere from somewhere [hmm.. I like the paradox
>there], grins.

>"Aha, another southwestern Ohioan!  We'll take over yet."

kitten raises her eyebrow at this .... although tigger "might" be right...

>"Welcome to the Place, Bernadette.  I hail from Hamilton, OH, land of the
>stupid exclamation point.  Currently, I am loafing here, waiting for school to
>start again in fall... back to the university we go."

>"Have a hug, even, if you're the hugging type!  Though considering what
>happened last time I offered a new person a hug, perhaps I shouldn't do that,
>but what the heck!"

"yes, new kid...."  kitten giggles...."tigger gives GREAT hugs...ask
kateri...ask toothpick....heck, ask anybody..."

>Steve is for some odd reason in a good mood this evening, although he does not
>know why.

>"Bye folks!"

"oh, steve-tigger...you just got here...don't go away yet..."

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: Yet another sleepless night
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 02:58:55 GMT


>>
>>kitten looks down off the top of a mountain of soap boxes...hoping
>>somebody will catch her if she jumps.

TJ:

>I'm here, I'm here...Oh dear, just a thought,I haven't worked out in
>a while so while I may not be able to catch you I will at least
>provide a soft cushion for you to land on :>

>I just wanted to say that I agree...Abner, you must do what you
>think is best for you, however I wouldn't leave home without one
>personally. (it's snuggled in my wallet right next to the
>'buy-two-get-one-free' card I have for the place I buy my hair dye)
>I don't sleep around, especially with someone I just met, but ya
>never know what could happen...besides, a woman friend of my mom's
>was raped fairly recently and she was able to talk him into letting
>her put one on him, you can't do that if one isn't handy.

>TJ braces her legs and puts her arms out. "Ready Kitten?"


"ready, TJ..."  kitten hops down and trys to land as soft as
possible...not wanting to squish TJ...

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: telsor@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Robert Morieson)
Subject: Re: The brumby is foaling better
Organization: Monash General Access UNIX System
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 07:42:54 GMT

In article <1992Jul20.200726.29557@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au> brumby@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara) writes:
>
>   "I know. That's the problem. Everyone around me thinks this is wonderful.
>I have two prospective grandmothers and a potential great-grandmother all
>telling me how wonderful this is. But all I can think of is the fact that
>I don't have a job, and I am going to have about 3/4's of my second degree
>finished at the end of this year. And if I don't get a job by the end of the
>year when Robyn has to leave hers then we are really in trouble. And I
>don't know if I can cope with being a father. I seem to be the only person
>who is acknowledging the fact that there is a down side to all this. The
>way everyone else is bouncing around being so happy is driving me round
>the twist."
>   The brumby takes up his glass again and drains all of it.

Could this be because those around you know you well enough to realise
you'll make a very good father and believe in you?
Or amybe I didn't want to stick the booty in?

>   "Ahh well. We've already had the inevitable round of jokes about
>The Cosmic Froggy being about to spawn, that being her usual net.name. She
>just tells people that the tadfoal is due after Christmas."

This means no more 'golden gelding' lines, right?

>   A few nearby patrons moan at that one.

We have not yet begun to pun! ( good think that I like peanuts )

>   "Hey, she said that when it starts kicking she's going to start referring
>to the 'wumpus womb'."

I think it would be arrownious to pun about this one, I save all the 'hunt
the wumpus' puns for Robyn.

>   "I just wanted to abort any wombers."

I was just allowing a pregnant pause before I started.

>   The peanuts start to fly. The brumby ducks behind the hot tub.
>   "Hmmm, this placenta lot better than the last one. Okay, so I was 
>laboring for that one. I can't conceive of any better ones though. But
>egg me on, I'll see if I can carry this one to term."

O very nice set of puns.
Surely it set the seed of an idea in your mind, gestate a little longer
and it'll grow. 

>   The brumby retreats from the hail of peanuts.

And Telsor eats them all.
-- 
God is real, unless declared integer.
Telsor@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
Robert Morieson
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: brumby@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara)
Subject: Re: Political Humor - Duck!
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 18:02:53 GMT


   The brumby's ears prick up. Puns are returning to the place.

telsor@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Robert Morieson) writes:
>brumby@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara) writes:
>>telsor@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Robert Morieson) writes:
>>>ajm@wag.caltech.edu (Abner J. Mintz) writes:
>>>>A supporter of H. Ross Perot is a Perogie!
>>>Does that mean his supporters are exercising their Perotgative?
>>   The brumby ap-Perot-ches Telsor.
>>   "Such a Perot-chial attitude Telsor"
>>   The brumby rears up, executes a neat Perot-ette, and leaps away.

>How ina-perot-priate 

   "Oh stop your Perot-nial winging Telsor."

   :-)


-- 
     The Silver Brumby of          brumby@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
      the Silicon Plains

      The grass is always greener on the other side of the network.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: A return
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 12:59:52 GMT

In <1992Jul22.000452.17506@ucc.su.OZ.AU> ablanch@physics.su.OZ.AU (Shonias) writes:

>>>>"the BEST way to feel is WITH YOUR HANDS....!"
>>> 
>>> DM grins.
>>> "Indeed...."
>>
>>Indeed!  Just watch what you touch... especially if it's _cold_!

>"NO! Especially if your *hands* are cold!"

>Shonias

"does DM have cold hands?  }:).....i am totally crushed..."  giggles
kitten... 

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: c1b6898@ender.tamu.edu (Yber / Carl Brown)
Subject: Re: Strange Question  (was Responsibilities of Artists...)
Summary: Physics Warning!
Keywords: No Way in Hell
Organization: Texas A&M University
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 18:05:02 GMT

In article <4qmmmvm.aahz@netcom.com> aahz@netcom.com (Aahzmandius) writes:
>On the other hand, let us assume that we're inside a metal spaceship,
>which could vibrate in response to the shockwave.  How big an explosion
>would be required for us to hear then?
>-- 
>                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
>                             @netcom.com 

You can't get a big enough explosion.  No way.  Look at it this way (check
my math, DM), if you have 1 molecule/cubic meter, the mean-free-path (the 
average distance a particle can travel before it his another particle) is
4x10^19 meters.  Now sound travels by particles bumping into each other,
and when the particles that were agitated by the explosion start to move,
they will have to move 4200 light years before they hit another particle to
transmit the sound (on average).  Given this, there is _no_way_ that you
are going to get enough particles together to transmit anything.

Thanks for the idea, though.  I've been having fun figuring it out (I 
thought the same thing at first, then I started looking at the math.)

Yber

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite)
Subject: Re: Ramda and Cameron - Naughty Naughty
Originator: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 12:49:01 GMT

In article <1992Jul28.024906.19724@crash.cts.com> jhitch@crash.cts.com (Jeffrey Hitchin) writes:
>	After Cameron sees Ramda make fun with the Sprite clothes, 
>Cameron starts to giggle.  He wanders over to the meadow where Didi
>has covered herself quite eloquently with Nathan's help.
>
>	"So, Didi-Sprite," he says, "I guess that was the top story
>in the nightly nudes?"
>
>	Somehow, peanuts fly through the X window and forces Cameron
>to jump in the lake to get away from them.  He climbs out, dripping.
>He then sees Ramda holding a basket of peanuts.
>
>	"Ramda, you GIT!"
>
>	"Tee-hee-I'm-just-a-rolypoly-teddy-bear!" 
>
>	Grant walks in to separate the two bears should the need arise.
>He dries off Cameron and warns him again against making ludicrous jokes
>like that, but he expects that Cameron isn't listening.

The Didi-Sprite does her best imitation of a mournful groan:  "I expect
that Cameron isn't listening either, Grantkins!  You know how it is
with teddy-bears!"

All the while, in her heart of hearts, the -Sprite is *hoping* Cameron
isn't listening!  "Pun away, Cameron!"  she thinks, "What's Life
without an excuse to bury you in peanuts!"

"Umm, Grant?  How's breakfast coming?  I am starving!"

----<--<@

The Didi-Sprite
Montreal * Canada

braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca
From: seawasp@vm2.cis.pitt.edu (Sea Wasp)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Breakfast is Served!!!
Date: 21 Jul 92 18:28:43 GMT
Organization: University of Pittsburgh
Originator: seawasp@pmax1.cis.pitt.edu

In article <1992Jul21.151737.2426@cs.mcgill.ca> braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite) writes:

	The Wasp has wandered out to the meadow, where he sees a huge buffet
laid out. Seeing that everyone is gathered around the Sprite, he realizes
that all this food must be lonely...

>"Well, Kitkat!  What do you think?  We have raspberry pancakes;

	"Raspberries? Hmm. One of my favorites." **schlump plop clink**

>Blueberry waffles; back bacon, strip bacon, pork sausages, all
>beef sausages, pure maple syrup; French Toast; fresh guernsey
>butter;

	"Oh my. Waffles.... lemme get a couple of those... and bacon,
sausages, french toast... plop a little butter here..." *tklingk shossh
flump squidge plopp*  "Ahh, and SYRUP! Can't forget THAT..." **SHLOOSH!**

	*Chomp chomp gulp* "mmph... great... Wonder why no one's stopping me?
Usually someone's saying 'pig' or 'wait for everyone' or something... Oh,
well, let's continue..."

 fresh baked home-made bread; coffee cake; cinammon rolls;
>all varieties of danish;

	"A little buttered bread... coffee cake, love it. Cinnamon rolls, too."
*munch munch gulp slurp...* 

	*SIR   YOU ARE GAINING WEIGHT*

	"Shut up, Fritz. A feast like this is only rarely seen... I'm virtual,
anyway."  *klink* "Boy, *mmph glp* I love cheese danish..."

 fried eggs; scrambled eggs; omelettes;

	"Ah, a touch of ketchup on these eggs... is that a FLUFFY omelette
I see? Yum!"

>oatmeal; Red River cereal; grits; granola; rice crispees; corn 
>flakes;  and the usual variety of dried cereals ... including 
>grape nuts for our tinman; coffee, tea, and Guensey milk from this 
>morning's milking; cream; sugar; artificial sweetener; pink and white
>grapefruit juice, cranberry juice; orange juice; and here comes
>Mike with the tray of Orange Juice and Champagne Cocktails ...
>have I forgotten anything?"

	"And a bowl of granola,.... Ah, and Alpen, over there... and
some Frosted Flakes (extra sugar, please)... Cranberry juice, tooo!"

	The Sea Wasp, now being followed by at least seven floating
plates all stacked to their limits, settles down to gorge himself, 
blissfully unaware of the crowd nearing him...

>And with that, Didi skips over to SEAWASP, gives him her Happiest
>Birthday Hug and Kiss while the entire company breaks into a chorus of:

	The Wasp returns the kiss (Would YOU turn down a lovely Sprite??
[no one start talking about Coke or Seven-up, either, or I'll give you
a POP!]), and grins widely.


  (someone suggests eating)

	"Thanks, I think I will..." *burp*
>		   HAPPY BIRTHDAY,  SEAWASP!

	Thanks, muchly! And MANY thanks to those who sent me personal
greetings as well, especially to those that my return-thanks bounced
(Jesse@amdahl being one)...

	By the way... this is a special birthday for me... since
I am

		THIRTY

	Today.


                                 Sea Wasp
                                   /^\
                                   ;;;
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: HF.TXG@forsythe.stanford.edu (TJ)
Subject: Re: Pepsi Drinkers Unite! (was Re: Snow FantasyAnd now, back to the show:
Organization: Stanford University, California, USA
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 18:35:07 GMT

In article <Bs2xK8.3G5@news.cso.uiuc.edu>,
trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski) writes:
>
>
>>>"dear speaker....no offense...but you are loony..."  kitten grins and
>>>offers him a hug...to show she is teasing....
>>>
>>>"cold it okay up to a point...even snow (I HATE ICE...the only good
>>>ice is in small enough cubes to fit into a pepsi glass)
>>                                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>nathan:
>
>> Hooray!  Someone else who isn't afraid to admit to drinking
>> pepsi, and doesn't use coke as a generic word for cola.
>
>> (BTW, kitten sorry about the pipes, glad you hooked up with
>> TC because of it.  See, cold weather has it's uses. )
>
>
>"thanks nathan....yes...i prefer (diet) pepsi....but i can drink diet
>cherry coke...i have never been fond of "southern champagne" (RC)
>however..."
>
>kitten offers to let nathan sip from her pepsi and bacardi...
>
>"yeah...t.c. just got lucky....:)
>
>
>of course, that is only the story of how we ended up living
>together...the story of how we met is great too...."
>
TJ hops up to the bar and slaps a dollar down, "Mike...a Pepsi
please." After recieving her drink, she curls down on the floor in
front of Kitten and says "Kitten, tell us a story..."

>***************************************************************************
>conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann
>"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
>                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu
>"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion
>to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson
>