From: earhard@ug.cs.dal.ca (Mark Earhard)
Subject: Re: Any Available Jewish Men Out There??
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 20:07:23 GMT

In article <1992Dec30.143458.1789@flint.comlab.ox.ac.uk> sharon@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Sharon Curtis) writes:
>In one article, Shelley wrote that she wanted an eligible Jewish man
>In a further article, Michael wrote:
>> Tim, stuff it.  Didn't you read what she wrote?  Her religion forbids it.
>> You can call religion an archaic basis for mating, but the majority of
>> the world happens not to agree with you.
>
>In a further article, Tim wrote:
>>Second: So if you met a wonderful ethnic woman whom you loved very
>>       much, and couldn't live without, you would pass her up on
>>       religious grounds?

This is a good point, but the answer is maybe.

A good friend of mine (jewish) married a non-jew, and from the time she
told her parents untill her first son was born she was exiled from
her family.  In her case Mr. Wonderful made it worthwhile (She was 
kosher orthodox), but in other cases, well...  YMMV.

>For goodness, sake, Tim! (and anyone else who thinks that religious
>beliefs are irrelevant to relationships)
>Try learning a little something.

You can lead a horse to water da da do do dowop da da...

>It is vitally important that for two people in a committed relationship,
>their religious beliefs are compatible!!!
>[examples of possible combinations deleted]

Only after experiencing it myself did I come to this conclusion.  You
may not think there would be a problem between two non practicing 
people (Jewish/Christian/Whathaveyou) but let's mention the word "KIDS"
and all of a sudden we've got a lot of small arms fire going on in a
very tight space.  There's nothing like an inlaw-inlaw war over religious
soul claims.

Can you say "Tension"?  I knew you could :)

>Jew by *race* (note being descended from Abraham and believing
>in Judaism are two different things), and the other is a Gentile.

Actually, Abraham's kids turned into Jews, Christians, Muslims,
and a host of other flavours of ice-cream.  But we digress :)

>Even though the couple's beliefs are compatible, I understand that
>the Jew could come under tremendous pressure from the family
>to marry another Jew.

I'll "This is very true" once again, simply because it is.

>Shelley is actually being pretty sensible!

If shelly feels strongly that she wants to have a Jewish
home with a Jewish man, then this is perfectly sensible.  If she knows
that she will be unhappy if she cannot get the religious fulfillment
she wants in her life from a non-jew or a converted man, then why
would she sacrifice her beliefs to conform to these ideas of the 20'th
century?  I always thought the beauty of the 20'th century thought is
that we should be able to be what and who we wanted, not just like
everyone else (Unless of course we wanted to be like everyone else).

I thought all the religious stuff was bunk, but after being in a
relationship that could seriously have resulted in mairrage I must
say it plays a more important role in my life than I thought...

My problem with inter-mairrage does not come from my religious beliefs,
but the fact that I am a Jew, and if I have children with a non-Jew
my children may not be part of something I am (Religion is passed
on through the woman in Judeasm).

Marcus.
-- 
__
Mark Earhard -      earhard@ug.cs.dal.ca -       05marcus@ac.dal.ca
Reclaimer:  GIVE ME THAT BACK THIS INSTANT!      BRING THE NOISE!
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