From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Qui est le plus MUSHY?
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 00:10:12 GMT

julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright) writes:
>kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (the guy with the funny name -- heh heh) writes:
>>julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright) writes:

>>>And a good way to start being a jerk is to make a lot of 
>>>unfair and unflattering generalizations about women.
>>How about fair and unflattering generalisations?

>I haven't heard any in this thread yet.  But I admit that's a matter of
>opinion.  I do agree that many women go out with people I think are
>jerks, as do many men.  But it isn't at all clear to me that they go
>out with those people *because* they're jerks.  In most cases, I think
>they try desperately to ignore their partner's obnoxious qualities in
>order to put up with the things they like.  (Or they just may not have
>the same ideas of what a jerk is as I do, in other cases.)  

>>>I always wonder when I see these "I'm trying to be a jerk so I can attract
>>>more women" posts: just what sort of women do you think you're going to
>>Presumably, the women among his friends whom he is attracted to, but
>>who scorn him while complaining incessantly about the jerks they're
>>dating.  He figures that in order to date those people....

>... he has to become a jerk, so they will go out with him and complain
>incessantly about him?  
Exactly!  Now he has a date.  And besides, they complain bitterly
about all their boyfriends.

>Ah, it all becomes clear.  I hope this is not everyone's idea of romantic
>happiness, however, and I don't think it's yours either.

Well, no, it isn't mine.  But if he thinks this will get him dates,
I'm not just going to refrain from knocking it--I'm going to encourage
him to do it, because I think if he's not getting dates he should try
_something_.  I don't expect it to work.  But if it does, that's fine
with me.  And if it doesn't he's learned something.

>In another post today (in the How Important Is Being IN-LOVE?
>thread), you said (heh -- thought no one was paying attention :) ):

Well nobody ELSE pays attention to me around here.  
(Which is probably for the best of course.)

>And if it's a question of whether to just *act* like a jerk, well,
>again, all the points above still hold, except that now she'd be
>valuing him for something other than what he really is, which is still bad.

Acting lessons.

>>>Maybe you should try cultivating some patience instead.
>>Naw.  I want it NOW.  
>Well then, who knows, you might get lucky.  :)

Oh really.  Do tell.  
Maybe I shouldn't sign up for those acting lessons after all.

>>>Sometimes you have to wait for the good stuff.  Life's like that.
>>And sometimes the good stuff never comes or comes but once.
>>If you find it, remember that you are exceedingly lucky.
...And act to gain and keep it or it might slip away forever.

>>Lorises are cute.  But do they have the right work ethic?
>No, that's probably why they're not used to teach geography.  
>But they do know how to kick back and enjoy life.  :)

They certainly do.  Slowly and snuggly.

-- 
"The world is empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers, and cities;
 but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us,
 and who, thought distant, is close to us in spirit,
 this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden."...............Goethe
-- 

Kiran Wagle                           <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.singles,talk.politics.misc