From: anon.33@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: stopping cutting
Date: 5 Jan 1993 14:54:14 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.33@pax.tpa.com.au
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 anon-1498@twwells.com (Sierra) said:

>Subject: stopping cutting
>Message-ID: <C0CFEt.12w@twwells.com>
>Date: 4 Jan 93 18:59:13 GMT

>Hi all -

>I've been reading the recent discussions of cutting with quite a lot of 
>interest (yes, it has a lot of personal application :-().  One thing
>I've found very useful is to make myself wristbands.  I get in moods
>where the only thing I can do is stare at the veins in my wrists and
>think how easy it would be....  My lover cut up a pair of old socks and
>made me wristbands out of the tops of them.  Now I usually have the
>sense to put them on when I start feeling that way, instead of actually
>slicing.  It makes me feel much safer to have the material against my
>wrists; I think of it as a nurturing thing, that I love my wrists (and
>so does she - it helps that the wristbands are a gift from her).

i was told in the hospital to use rubber bands.  they help two ways:
you can feel something, hopefully, and stay grounded and also
you can tug at them in a repetetive way (at least that's what i do
because my cutting is very repetetive and mesmerizing).  Actually,
a third way: i think they help me feel bounded in myself too.

>Lately I haven't been cutting at all, or burning (I keep reminding
>myself that I do have that option, and I have a lighter or two hanging
>out in my room in easy reach, but I haven't been using them).  I have
>been hitting myself a lot; my arms and legs are all bruised. 

i had stopped cutting for a long time, then i started during finals.
but my counselor person pointed out that it was only a brief time
and not nearly as bad as it used to be.  she tells me i have made 
accomplishments.  i wish i knew why that was so impossible for me
to listen to or hear or get past the censors.  anyway my point
was good for you sierra that you haven't cut or burned!!!  especially
when you let them remain options.  wow.  such a test.  i am sorry
you've been hitting...in a weird way though it is kind of not
as bad, not to make it ok or anythiong, oh whatever sorry

>Something
>I use to stop that is that I have a lot of trouble hurting myself in
>visible ways when friends are with me, because I know it makes them feel
>bad.  A lot of times in the past week I've wanted to hurt myself but a
>friend was with me and I couldn't do it.

i cant do it with people knowing either.  and it's weird
having an so now, because he sees parts of my body and
i dont want to add fresh scars to old and have him see.
it makes me feel so horrible becasue it upsets others so much.

>These are just some suggestions; I hope they help.

i like the thought of someone whom you love and who loves you
giving you the wristbands.  kinda double the power

>Take care, all of you.

yea for no cutting and burning sierra, you take care too

>Sierra

>Poohbear - I'm GLAD you're back!

thank thank thank you  sometimes i am glad too
poohbear


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