From: uunet!mailrus!gatech!meshugge.media.mit.edu!cindy@ncar.ucar.EDU (Cindy Blank-Edelman)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: feminism callous to men's oppression?  (was: draft issue)
Date: 16 Aug 92 14:41:27 GMT
	<16741aINN3vg@agate.berkeley.edu> <1992Aug11.194012.26556@Veritas.COM>
Organization: M.I.T. Media Laboratory

Robert Hartman writes:

[description of feminist "patronizing" of and insensitivity to men omitted]

> So let me put it out there straight, once again, with no side-issues:

>     On the whole, does feminism concern itself in any way with men's
>     issues?

>     Do feminist women feel any obligation or willingness whatsoever to
>     assist men in dealing with their issues in exchange for the help
>     they ask of men?

> I don't believe that there is an authoritative or comprehensive answer
> to either of these questions.  But I'd be interested to hear what
> individual women have to say about their own views and experiences.

First, I, for one, apologize if anything I have said in these
discussions has been patronizing or insensitive.  I would be interested to
hear via email of any specific instances of my insensitivity.

In answer to your questions:

I believe that feminism is, and should be, concerned with issues as
they relate to and affect women.  That doesn't mean that those same
issues won't affect men, it just means that efforts are focussed on
behalf of women.

I, personally, do feel that I should support men in dealing with their
issues, providing that their issues do not deny me my rights as a
woman.  Like I do with other groups where I am not a member
(African-Americans, gays and lesbians, etc.), I think that my primary
responsibility is to listen and try to understand men's concerns.  I
also try to work on my personal interactions with men.  I do not think
I must give up feminism in favor of a "human" movement, nor would I
ask that men give up a "men's movement".

I think the main problem is one of communication.  When men talk to me
about their concerns or issues (and in my entire life that has only
happened on soc.feminism), I hear them expecting me to give up my
issues because theirs are the *real* issues.  I hear them blaming me
for not working on their issues.  (Whether or not this is what they
are trying to say, this is what I hear.) This all makes me very confused,
because I still feel oppressed as a woman.  *I am not secure enough
with my place in the world to help fix men's place*.  Not right now.
I will support them.  But I am still realizing the issues that face
me, and I have to get through that first.

All this being said, I strongly believe that oppressed groups of
people have an extra responsibility to work against the oppression of
others, because we know how oppression feels, too.  This feeling is
actually from my Jewish background, which has taught me to "be kind to
the stranger, because you too were strangers in the land of Egypt."

All I ask is to be able to figure out my own stuff first.  And I don't
know how long that will take.

--Cindy Blank-Edelman

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