From: popec@unkaphaed.gbdata.com (William C. Barwell)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Help me People
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 92 01:54:31 GMT
Organization: Unka Phaed's UUCP Thingy, Houston, TX

VETTERS@vax1.elon.edu (Steve Vetter  ) writes:

> I am sort of new to the net and I am constantly hearing about Bob.
> I posted to alt.newbie and asked and they refferred me to alt.slack.
> Now I am even more confused than before.  Please define the following 
> terms:
> 
> 1.  Bob
> 2.  the "slack" in alt.slack
> 3.  Subgenius
> 4.  frop
> 5.  some other word that starts with f 
> 
> A few other questions:
> 1.  It seems to me that this is some type of organized religeon.  Am I correc
> 2.  If yes to the above, it Bob your "God"
> 3.  Someone told me of a book called "Two-Fisted tales of Bob" or something,
>     is this like your "bible"  (assuming the answers to 1 and 2 are yes)
> 
> thanks
> please email me the answers to 
> vetters@vax1.elon.edu
> 
> also please forgive me for being so ignorant, we were all new to the net
> sometime....
> 
> Steve
> 
> --------------------------------------+--------------------------------------
> Steve Vetter                          |  "When I get big, I'm gonna get
> Elon College Computer Consultant      |   an electric guitar,              
> The Metropolis of Elon College, NC    |   When I get real big..."            
> vetters@vax1.elon.edu                 |        --Neil Young  (Live Rust)
> I may very well be getting minimum wage to type this!!!
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>         


J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is just a guy.  Just a salesman.  Only extremely rich 
and possessed of powers beyond the understanding of mere mortals.
  "Bob" was contacted in 1952 by a superior being known to the Subgenius 
Church as "Jehova-1".  Space Alien.  He has been called in the past by 
other  names, Wotan, Yaweh, Odin, amongst others.
  He gave to "Bob" certain information to pass to the Subgenii, that is 
us.  "Bob" is not "God", (any more or less than any of us are that is), 
but is what we call the High Epopt of The Church Of The Subgenius.
(Epopt means initiate in Greek.)
Now, you must understand that you do not join the Church Of The Subgenius 
as such.  One discovers that one is a member of the Church.  You may have 
just made that discovery.
"Slack" cannot be defined.  For Slack, that magical aspect of the 
Universe that we want is different for each Subgenius.  Under the 
guidance of "Bob's" teachings, you will attain Slack Awareness and 
hopefully eventually be able to obtain Slack from the Universe by 
grabbing it by it's balls when the opportunity presents it's self.  If 
you are a Subgenius you may have already have developed a rudimentary 
Slack Awareness simply by possessing the rare Subgenius genes.
"The Church " will help you to sharpen that sense.
  Frop.  Habofropzipulops.  A rare herb, (Not a Drug!), found only in the 
himalayas growing on the dung of Yeti and Bhuddist holymne.  This is what 
"Bob" smokes in his pipe.

Organized.  No, we are a disorganized Church Of Everything In A Whole Big 
Mess On The Floor.  A church for those who need no church.  Leaders fo 
those who need no leaders.  A place to fit in for those who never fit in.

These dear friend, are but a few grains of wisdom off of the Subgenius 
Beach of Cosmic Wisdom.  Surfs Up!

For More information, write P.O. Box 140306 Dallas texas 75214
Enclose $1.00 dollar and ask for Pamplet No. 1.
Or $2.00 and ask for pamplet No. 1 & 2.
Or $200.00 and ask for a full Membership in this justice League For 
Mutants.  Or $20.00 for a membership if you are a student of life.
Or for $200,000 you can by the whole Church.

Or you can go to any BookStore and get them to order you a copy of "The 
Book Of The Subgenius" by The Subgenius Foundation.

Occasionally bookstoes have this book on their shelves.  Usually it is 
put into the Humor section, but this is okay as it save the Church from 
having to deal with religous nuts.  Usually they don't seem to have them 
on stock though, they sell out really fast, mainly to Subgenii who 
eagerly sit on their excremeditation thrones to absorb the teachings of 
the Church, or to horrified Fundamentalists who burn them out of a 
misguided sense of duty.

Hope this has confused you.  Not just a stupid joke, but a whole new way 
of life.

Pope Charles  Subgenius Pope Of Houston.    Salack!

--
popec@unkaphaed.gbdata.com (William C. Barwell)
Unka Phaed's UUCP Thingy, Houston, TX, (713) 943-2728
1200/2400/9600/14400 v.32bis/v.42bis
Newsgroups: alt.slack