Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1992 22:24:11 -0400 
From: "Mark A. Baxter" <mb8p+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re:Agnostics and atheists

   I was just wandering through the net and found this little board. 
Boy, for a board titled "netnews.rec.humour", you sure do whomp onto
some weighty subjects.  I just happen to have two things, 1)an opinion
on agnosticism/vs. atheism and 2)another lonely Friday night.  And
actually it's these lonely friday nights, along with cancer, mental
retardation, and a sudden resurgence of interest in the seventies
(particularly those unattractive polyester outfits that women used to
wear, you know the really garish ones the Cosmo would like you to
believe are hip and sexy rather than just garish) which have contributed
to my agnosticism (you were wondering weren't you?)(Oh, you know you
were)(Ok, fine).  You see it's not that I don't believe in god, I just
don't believe in any of the religions I've come across so far (though
the Church of the Subgenius does have a certain allure...).  None of
them really adequately explain why one of my friends was nearly raped
twice by two different men (she's currently sixteen, we're all hoping
there's a karmic maximum to these things which she has now reached and
now she can look forward to not being assaulted for the rest of her
life, except in her nightmares and memories of course).  (And please, I
don't want to hear about Rabbi Schmertz's latest book "But Really, God
DOES Love You,
And Your Cerebral Palsy Is Just Part Of His Unfathomable Plan").  I do
NOT, however, totally rule out the possibility of a religion which
explains GOD, THE UNIVERSE, AND ,YES, TERMINATOR TOO it's just that so
far the best I've been able to come up with for myself is that either
1)God is not omnipotent or 2)God doesn't have any hang-ups about giving
children leukemia or otherwise handing out terminal diseases like those
cute little sandwiches at parties (I would, but I'm only mortal myself
so I don't have that all-important SENSE OF PERSPECTIVE).

    In closing, I would just like to say two things.  First, it's a lot
easier if you just ignore everything in parentheses the first read
through, they're asides and probably cloud what I'm saying, I just write
like that.  Second, Please don't flame me, or worse, try to convert me,
I've had people who were closer to me (much) and smarter (probably) than
you try already and it would likely irritate me.  A lot.  Please excuse
the fact that this is rife with black humor, only religion gets me like
this, normally I go for a sort of wrinkled and tannned humor (it's much
more lighthearted though still a little dry).  No really, you'd like me
if you got to know me, how 'bout next friday?  No?  Hey, wait, come
back!!   
                                    Love&Hugs, Mark (Much better than
Rum&Coke,    
                                    Mark, and probably even better than
Oreos &        
                                    Milk, Mark, but at Backrubs, Mark you've 
                                    definitely at least broke even)(Told
you to 
                                    ignore everything in parentheses)   
                                               
Mark Baxter              |One is for sorrow,
<mb8p+@andrew.cmu.edu>   |Two is for joy,
ext #4690                |Three for a girl,
                         |Four a boy,
         I               |Five is for silver,
       Have              |Six is for gold,
         A               |And Seven's a secret
      Secret             |Never to be told.
Newsgroups: rec.humor