From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: Massachusetts (was Re: Boss Peeve)
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: McOlsen's Lutefisk Burgers -- one served.
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 18:04:17 GMT

padutton@banzai.WPI.EDU (Peter Alan Dutton) writes:
> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:

>>I don't like their laws.  For one thing,
>>they refuse to let me carry my ObGun legally, which is a sure sign
>>they don't think the citizens are responsible people.  
>
>Nope, we just don't have enough of the pickup-and-tobacco-chawing-redneck
>crowd that would complain. I mean, why in the hell would one NEED to
>carry a gun other than to keep you cousin Elmer from your sister Ellie Mae?

	For shooting squirrels.  You know, people driving at 45mph in the
passing lane and sporting Oakley Blades.  We like to be polite about
such things, but twisting around and spitting a good stream that goes
<SPLAT!> on their Blades is quite good for stress relief.  So is
ventilating their engine block.  Besides, in Iowa Ellie Maehas been
lifting hay bales and shoveling manure out of the hog shed for so long,
Elmer'd get his ass kicked if she didn't like him.

>What makes this so inane? I'm confused. Do you ENJOY being stuck in
>traffic jams?

	Only when the cause of the traffic jam is a three-car pileup,
one car of which is happily burning, and the other two of which are
spewed out across the roadway while the emergency vehicles sit in
traffic two miles behind me.  That's somewhat enjoyable, since it
is a certainty some Good Samaritan type will do something stupid like
try to put out the flames with his Italian suit jacket.  On the other
hand, the breakdown lane is excellent for passing such incidents,
albeit at slightly less than 70mph.

>>	Actually, I had a great time on the two-lane blacktops that
>>went through what I'm sure they thought was a forest, but had the
>>added excitement of blind driveways every hundred feet or so.  
>
>I suppose it's no comparison to the Great Iowa Woods (sarcasm).

	The Iowa Woods are generally more than four trees deep before
becoming somebody's front yard or driveway.  Near as I can figure,
people planted trees instead of fence posts out there. 

>Are you talking about Mass? Are you actually admitting that there are
>sights here?

	Hey, I'd never seen a "CAUTION: Slow Children" sign before.
I was expecting to see a slack-jawed kid with a Lutefisk-burger
stand on the side of the road.

>>	And just what else, besides the USS Constitution, is there to
>>see in MA?
>
>Pro sports? Beaches? Trees? Good colleges?

	ESPN, a stint in the Navy took care of my desire to see a
beach again -- though the sunlight reflecting off the hypodermic
needles and sewage might be worth a picture, trees are not exactly
a rare thing, and good colleges are hardly what a tourist wants to
spend time viewing -- nerds are common everywhere.


--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves