X-Prolog:     University Computing Services/Student Data Systems
X-Prolog:     University of South Florida
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.words-l
Date:         Thu, 13 Aug 1992 07:50:06 GMT
Comments:     Converted from OfficeVision to RFC822 by PUMP V2.2X
From:         "Don Moore (813) 974-4078 S/C 574-4078"
 <DBFABAK%CFRVM.BITNET@uga.cc.uga.edu>
Subject:      Taking Names and Kicking Butts

Hello Blue Moon Saloon Patrons

First, that's not the real subject ...just an an old military saying, lets
change that to "Naming Names and Making Peace".  As the "old man" of this
list I have many events in my life to make me the person I now am ...but
still I am not where I want to be ....that is at peace and understanding
with all ...I may never reach that goal...but I'll not stop trying.  I have
lost five of my family...and none by natural causes...all events that molded
my character in the hot crucible of human trajedy.  I am the oldest of five
children - 4 boys, 1 girl.  My youngest brother was killed when he was not
quite 2 - I found him lying in the dirt driveway - his head in a pool of
blood, having been crushed under the wheels of a truck.  Years later it
was hard to understand why my sister ended her life...after all Dad had
forgiven her for the hurt she had caused him...he eventually accepted his
daughter's, barely 17 then, little baby - Dennis, she named it after the
son he lost ...but less than 10 years later, married - to a different man,
which she bore another son for...Donna, still hurting from those years of
guilt, ended her life with a single self-inflicted bullet to her head.
My first wife - an older woman with a ten year old girl ...a result of a
romance with an older, married man - died of cervical cancer after only
13 years of marriage ....and one of her last wishes was for me to seek
forgiveness (for her) from her mother for the grief she had caused.  And
then my second wife - married at 16, 20 + years of miserable marriage,
no children, only child, parents deceased.  Lonely in this world, but
vowing *never* to marry again.  She agreed to marry me on our second date.
Fifteen years later, we were still holding hands and people thought we were
newly-weds - no woman was ever so devoted to me (and that is not a slam at
Joyce - Joyce is a different person, has children, family, etc).  Well
Nadine worried about being left alone again, and on a camping trip asked me
to please take better care of myself (I had been gaining too much weight
again), that she could not deal being alone without me.  I quietly asked the
Lord, that if he could not take us both at the same time, please take her
first.  With no prior history of such, less than 24 hours later my beloved
Nadine died at 2 AM in the morning of a heart attack ...died in a strange
town, no friends, no family, only her devastated husband.  I have, or course,
since then remarried ....I pray that this is my last marriage.  So, now I
find myself again with a young lady to raise ...but is this one different!
She shocks me!  She amazes me!  She frightens me! ....she also loves me.
So, not realizing people could have no way of the disarming openeness
between us, I began relating tales I should not have.  (BTW, I had a three
hour talk with her boyfriend - 17, and who I have not allowed Dawn contact
with at all for several months - it was fast getting out of hand -  while
Dawn was inside worried to death, I was making sure that young man - who
WILL be a fine young man someday - understood my feelings and how he should
treat women, especially my daughter ...it's a long story...but after talk
he told Dawn. who by now was almost a basket case - she really likes the
guy - that I was a nice person, very much like his Dad (who he deeply cares
about) and Dawn simply said thank you and gave me a warm hug - hope I don't
regret my decisions ...but I must give her to opportunity to make mistakes,
and pray that she won't)  Well, this is kind of long winded, but I'm just
about ready to name names.  In all this unfortunate episode, both in my
public and private mail, I have deliberatly avoided using peoples names..
now I will (Carol, I did respond privately to you, but my letter rejected,
said it was undeliverable, no reason ...help!  Briefly, I agree with some
of what you said, but not, all, but said "Carol...can we be friends?")
So here are some names:

abh, Anne, Bandwidth Pig ...guess she hurt me the most.  Anne has been a
patron here a long time and I always thought of her as a friend.  We have
had an exchange privately, apologized to each other, and I am happy to say
we are again friends.

Carol -- I owe her a debt of gritude ...had it not been for her initial
rational post, I would not have known to the extent of the problem.  Still
don't agree with all she says, but feel certain can we reach a level of
mutual respect and understanding ....if I can ever figure out how to reach
her mail address.

Graham ...hey you old cracker...think you need to take a laxative :-)

ggs ... I'm surprised at you...guess I hit a sensitive button.

Rita ...wow...don't know how to deal with her ....seems she goes off like
a firecracker ...and then it's over.  hmmmm, maybe it's dangerous to
play with firecracker's :-)

Any others ...,.I'm not really sure.   Now my most sincere appreciation
to all of those who wrote letters of support ....they are dearly
treasured.

Now if there any of you who still feel strongly agains me ...PLEASE...
write me a private letter ....I will respond to it....may not agree with
you...but I'll hear you out..

To those who my postings have hurt ...please again accept my sincere apology.
While I may again mention Dawn's name (and I already have) it will not be
as in the past.

Bartender, a round of whatever to each person in the room.  Drinks on me.

                            Peace,
                                  Don
Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU