HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: chaplin@keinstr.uucp (Roger Chaplin)
Subject: Another Shenanigan (what else?)
Organization: Keithley Instruments, Cleveland, Ohio
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 14:19:55 GMT

My 10th grade homeroom teacher was a bit slow.  The class quickly
discovered this and some hooligan suggested that everyone make a soft
electric-sounding humming noise.  When the teacher heard this, she got
up from her desk, walked over to the light switch and turned off the
lights.  Immediately we quit humming.  She turned the lights back on,
and we resumed the humming.

She sent one of the students to go fetch a custodian.  A little later
the Head Custodian, Ralph Willoghby, came into the room, and knew
immediately what was going on.  Ralph was a pretty cool and fun-loving
guy.  He looked at the teacher and said, "Lady, there's not a thing I
can do about it."

It was about all we could do to keep from falling on the floor
laughing.

-- 
Roger Chaplin / Instruments Division Engineering / "This land is your land,
chaplin@keinstr.uucp / CI$: 76307,3506          / This land is my land,
#include <disclaimer.h>                        / One of us has a bogus deed
#include "disclaimer.h" /* cover all bases */ / to this land."  - George Carlin
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: Robert.T.Warfield@dartmouth.edu (Robert T. Warfield)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: emergency showers
Date: 10 Nov 92 17:10:25 GMT
 <1992Nov9.205953.23878@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu>
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH
X-Posted-From: InterNews1.0b1@newshost.dartmouth.edu


  I have worked in research for 7 years and all the saftey showers I
have seen have had shut offs.


**********************************************************************
* Arthur, king of the Britons    * King of the who?                  *
* King of the Brittons!          * Who are the Brittons anyway?      *
* I am, you are, we all are the  *                                   *
* Brittons and I am your king!   * Well, I didn't vote for you.      *
**********************************************************************
Robert T. Warfield@dartmouth.edu
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: wayman@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Jeffrey Wayman)
Subject: Re: parking meters
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 22:46:13 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <10NOV199212000296@cc.utah.edu> mgb5528@cc.utah.edu (Beck, Michael Gregory) writes:
>In article <BxIGs0.3Iv@news.udel.edu>, webb@chopin.udel.edu (W Webb Pickersgill) writes...
>{In article <1992Nov9.162310.24258@news.weeg.uiowa.edu> tlund@news.weeg.uiowa.edu (Thomas Lund) writes:
>{>	Ever feel sorry for those poor parking meter cops who have to give
>{>tickets all down that line of cars downtown?  Help them out a little next
>{>time you see them by putting a nickel in every (expired) meter down the
>{>street.
>{>
>{>-o-<<
>{ 
>{	Hate to be the one to break this to you but, that is ILLEGAL.
>{Iv'e heard stories of people doing that and getting tickets and fines
>{and arrested for interfereing with the duties of an officer.  
>{DO NOT TRY THIS.  Hate to hear that someone was arrested from the net
>{because of this post.
>{ 
>{					Webb
>{ 
>  Why is feeding the meter illegal?  I don't understand.  All that you are 
>doing is giving the people who are parked some more time. 8^)
>

I saw a news story about a guy, maybe in Washington DC who runs around
in front of the meter person putting money in the meter.  He then puts
a card under the wiper with his address and asks them to send him a 
donation.  Anyone know the specific legalities of this?

Jeff
From: null@diku.dk (Niels Ull Jacobsen)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: Television Shananigan
Date: 5 Nov 92 15:45:51 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, U of Copenhagen

Well, perhaps this ought to go in alt.folklore.urban, as
it is a friend of my girlfriends older brother (FOMGOB) who claims to
have done it. And it was even an unintentional shenanigan.

He has a TV with a remote control and one evening he and some friends
discussed the range of these things, whether they were blocked by
glass, etc.  Well, across the street was another apartment building
and the couple living one floor lower on the other side had a similar
TV set.  The other apartment was dark and the residents out, so they
figured a little experimenting wouldn't hurt. Well, the window was
opened, the remote carefully aimed and Bingo! On came the TV. 10
seconds later the lights in the apartment were turned on and two naked
people ran into the room, staring at their TV.

   Niels Ull Jacobsen, Dep. of C.S., U of Copenhagen (null@diku.dk)
   Adaz sighed.  "So how long will this journey take?" 
   "A month?" Sutekh shrugged.  "Depends on when the horses die." 
     -- from "Adaz & Sutekh" by Jeff Stehman


-- 
   Niels Ull Jacobsen, Dep. of C.S., U of Copenhagen (null@diku.dk)
   Adaz sighed.  "So how long will this journey take?" 
   "A month?" Sutekh shrugged.  "Depends on when the horses die." 
     -- from "Adaz & Sutekh" by Jeff Stehman
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: hamlet@zeus.tamu.edu (Rosencrantz & Guildinstern are dead!)
Subject: Re: answering machine messages
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 15:22:00 GMT

In article <1992Nov4.124855.60379@cc.usu.edu>, slb1b@cc.usu.edu (Holographic Banana) writes...
>In article <UexiGJW00VB3BDE21_@andrew.cmu.edu>, "Heather J. Dunn" <hd24+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>> 	Someone keeps calling me, listens to my answering machine message-which
>> never changes-and hangs up right after the beep.  So I'll come home and
>> find four or five empty messages.
>> 	This is starting to piss me off. Does anyone have any ideas for a new
>> message that might piss this caller off in return?
>> ~Heather
>> 
>> Hail the mighty gargantuan squid!!
> 
>Loud music in the background, yell "Hold on a sec! Let me turn down the music!"
>After a minute or so, come back and say "Hello?" <pause> "Uh-huh" <pause>
> 
> 
>*beeeeeeep*
> 
>Or one of many variations on this theme. We've got a monster list of answering
>machine messages.
> 
My roomate and I have an extensive list and tape collection of our various
answering machine messages we recorded over the past few years.  Many of them 
involve this compact disc I bought which contains "Fascinating Sounds of the
Animal World".  Examples of our messages:

[Coyote Howling in the Backround]

Me:   It sure is lonely out here on the prairie.
Mike:  Ayep.....
[Pause]

Mike:  Good thing we brought that dawg along wit us.
[Really loud howl]
Me:	Ayep.
[Beep]

Another message:
[Chariots of fire theme playing]

Voiceover:  Mike and Jeff have gone jogging, please leave your name and 
	 	number at the sound of the tone.


Well, that is all for now.


		-Hamlet


Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: cms2839@ultb.isc.rit.edu (a.stranger)
Subject: how to tell who your real friends are . . . 
Originator: cms2839@ultb
Organization: Minimalist Music for Hyperactive Children (MMHC)
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 04:08:28 GMT

				a friend of mine did the following for a
friend of hers as a " birthday presant " :

				this friend of hers was in a fraternity
, and they were having a party that night , partly in celebration of his
birthday . she dressed up , in her words , " as trashy as possible :
thigh - high ' fuck me ' boots , a spandex unitard , *heavy* makeup and
a blonde curly wig . " she then vamped around the party , and secretly
enjoyed their astonishment . finally , one of the frat men could no
longer contain his curiousity , and asked " are you ___'s girlfriend ? "

				she looked at him as if he had just
asked the stupidest question she had ever heard , and said " you don't
have to be someone's girlfriend to fuck them . "

				his mouth literally dropped open . i'm
sure they bugged ___ about it for months . 

				DISCLAIMER : she's really nothing like
this . . . 8^>=

-- 
       @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
       @       "Imagination keeps the shadows away  -  Xymox       @
       @~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@
       @ a.stranger - CMS2839@ritvax.isc.rit.edu - PGP key on req. @
From: varhus@widget.seas.upenn.edu (Kristofor A Varhus)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: naive teacher
Date: 7 Nov 92 01:16:48 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In my sophomore year of high school, I had this french class with an extremely
naive teacher from France.  One day, when she was going to give us a test,
one of my classmates told her that the principal had said that we didn't
have to take the test.  She was somewhat hesitant, but handed out the test
anyway.  After a few minutes, she said she had to go make some copies and left
the room.  Another several minutes passed and the principal came into the
room and asked "What did you tell Ms. _______?!"  Apparently she had gone
down the hall to his office, stormed in and yelled "How dare you do that with
my class!"  She then ran out.  We told the principal what had happened.
He was not particularly happy, but you could easily tell he was trying to
hide his snickering behind his hand.  After he left, we all fell over
laughing.  The teacher never came back into the class to finish with the
test, and she never mentioned it again.

Hahaha.

Sorry about the bad writing.


--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kristofor A. Varhus			|       THIS SPACE AVAILABLE
varhus@eniac.seas.upenn.edu		|        E-MAIL IMMEDIATELY!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: umgyles0@ccu.umanitoba.ca (Gyles)
Subject: Re: car trouble
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Canada
Distribution: alt
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 16:39:20 GMT


One time when I was in a friends car, I put a rock in the ashtray
in the back seat.  I didn't mean any harm by this.  However, my friends
Dad started hearing the rock rolling around in the ashtray and started 
getting really worried.  He eventually took the car to a mechanic, who
not surprisingly couldn't find anything wrong.

Eventually, the Dad found the rock and got *really mad*.  I really
thought this was funny and never admitted being the culprit behind
the rock.

Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: moroney@ramblr.enet.dec.com
Subject: Re: The FINAL WORD on URINAL SHOCKS!!!!!
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 05:17:16 GMT

In article <1dd3bmINNit3@agate.berkeley.edu> dbucher@ocf.berkeley.edu (Daniel Bucher) writes:
>THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE!!!!
...
>The URINE does NOT make the connection between URINAL and PENIS! Urine is 
>NOT a steady stream. If is a procession of DROPLETS and they are quite 
>separated from each other. Here's an experiment by which you can prove this.

It comes out as a steady stream and breaks up into drops if it travels far
enough.  Unless you have the dribbles or something.

If you don't believe me, go piss on an electric fence.

-Mike
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: mcspinks@unix.amherst.edu (Snarfblat)
Subject: Re: Locker wars
Organization: Amherst College
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 02:36:20 GMT

This reminds me of some evil stuff we did to a guy we didn't like. His locker
happened to be next to that of my friend Christian, who masterminded most of 
the evil things we pulled off. Anyway, the guy we don't like will be called 
Dave,because that's his name. The first thing we did was as follows: 
Christian knew dave's combo. We got into school early one morning, opened 
Dave's locker and took out all the books and shelves. I was the smallest so I
got to hide in the locker and wait for him to open it. When he did, I just 
smiled and said "Hi Dave! How are you?" and walked away from the scene.
he flew back across the hall and stuck himself to the wall, about 8 feet away. 
Later, Dave told us his heart had been beating quickly for an hour after the 
incident.
The next one was mostly christian's doing. He planned to evict Dave from his
locker. First he needed school stationary to make it look authentic. Our friend
Eric went into the guidance office and asked for a few pieces of stationary.
The guidance secretary told him to look in the office. He went to the main 
office and said "The guidance lady told me to ask you for school stationary."
He was rewarded with 3 reams of it. Christian typed up a memo stating that Dave
was being evicted for poor locker maintenance and substandard locker 
decorations. (We were always annoyed by the Poison posters he had). He didn't
do anything about it, so christian wrote out a second memo using harsher 
terms. This time he put in a school envelope and put it in Dave's homeroom
teacher's mailbox. When the teacher gave it to him the next morning Dave 
thought it was official. He went to the office and asked about it. 
Unfortunatley the office people didn't play along, but they did get a good 
laugh out of it. Dave felt very stupid after that, which was good because he
was.
Snarf
From: faber@loon.cs.wisc.edu (Ted)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: Fun With Lasers
Date: 6 Nov 92 20:15:52 GMT
Organization: U of Wisconsin Madison - Computer Sciences

ath@linkoping.trab.se (Anders Thulin) writes:

>I have a variation on this 'shenanigan' you might try some other time.
>
>Walk up to someone in the street, stare at him fixedly and whisper
>slowly 'blood, blood, blood, ...'. 

	Or count to ten at a computer.
>
>Anders Thulin 

Hey, if you understood everything I say, you'd be me! --- Miles Davis

-- 
Ted Faber		Figment at Large		  faber@loon.cs.wisc.edu
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." -- Maugham
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: mcrosby@nyx.cs.du.edu (Matthew Crosby)
Subject: Re: Pranks and Jokes FTP site.
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: alt.shenanigans
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 02:14:27 GMT

In article <1992Nov09.205553.31205@watson.ibm.com> jennings@tran.fishkill.ibm.com () writes:
>In article <0_n1bvk@rpi.edu>, johnc@porsche.cs.rpi.edu (John Colasante) writes:
>> 
>> Hi folks, I've been scanning here for a while and there has been some
>> good stuff posted; lots of funny pranks and shenanigans.  For those
>> who are interested, there is an FTP site that has an electronic
>> archive of pranks and practical jokes.  The internet host is
>> FTP site 127.0.0.1.   Under the /pub/pranks directory you will
>> find 2 files, pranks.doc and shenanigans.txt.  Both contain numerous
>> sidesplitting practical jokes and pranks you can play on your
>> family and friends.  Try it out!
>> 
>> John C.
>> --
>
>Hmmmm........127.0.0.1????.......looks like the local loopback to me.........		
That is the idea, silly!  He was trying to perpetrate prank (not really a
shenenigan) number whatever on this group, and you HAD to ruin it!  Sigh.  I
was hoping that *SOMEONE* would post the obvious!

(BTW:  This was a pretty good one.  A little obvious, but pretty good anyway.
Great possibility!  Especially as it actually works!)

--
-Matt
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the net!
mcrosby@nyx.cs.du.edu  -or-  crosby@cs.colorado.edu
From: profesor@bigwpi.WPI.EDU (Matthew E Cross)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: My two favorite (remote and little sister)
Date: 5 Nov 1992 21:30:31 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: bigwpi.wpi.edu


OK, number one:

Pick up remote control, and position finger on button (power button
works well).  Place working end of control in mouth, press button, and
inhale loudly.  Remove remote control, hold mouth closed, then press
button at the same time as you exhale.  If you do it right, it looks
like you held the signal in your mouth (people usually don't look at
the remote).  I had my friend's sister fooled by this for a few weeks
:)

number two:

My little sister found out I was going to the mall, and asked to come
along.  So I took her, and her friend too.  "Meet me at this door at
9, ok?" "OK, Matt".  Meanwhile, me and my friend move my car to the
other side of the mall parking lot.  At 9, I'm waiting at the door
with my friend, and my sister shows up with her friend.  As we walk to
where the car was parked, I tell my sister about this article I read
in the paper about people going to the mall, breaking into cars, and
just moving them around the parking lot.  And then we can't find the
car...  So I go off with my friend and 'look' for the car, and she
goes off with her friend.  I had her running around the _parking lot_
asking people if they'd seen my car!!!! ;) Then, me and my friend
drive up and drive away.  She didn't figure it out until next morning
when I told her! ;)

	enjoy,
	 -matt

-- 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| What's red and invisible?              |      profesor@wpi.wpi.edu          |
|                                        +------------------------------------+
|                   No tomatoes.         |    Make love, not War...           |
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: peter@NeoSoft.com (Peter da Silva)
Subject: Re: a couple of classics
Organization: NeoSoft Communications Services -- (713) 684-5900
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 12:06:33 GMT

In article <1992Nov04.054016.881@microsoft.com> chrispi@microsoft.com (Chris Pirih) writes:
> From the American Heritage Dictionary:

> shenanigan:  1. Prankishness; mischief.  2. Treachery; deceit.

> prank:  A mischievous trick; practical joke.

Oh boy! A dictionary flame right here in alt.shenanigans! Ok, who's going to
throw out the traditional Hitler-and-the-Nazis response?
-- 
Peter da Silva.  <peter@sugar.neosoft.com>.
 `-_-'   "Meglelted mr ma a farkasodat ?"
  'U`    "Zure otsoa besarkatu al duzu gaur?"
Das kann nicht mein Zimmer sein, denn ich atme kein Ammoniak.
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: adwright@iastate.edu ()
Subject: Re: answering machine messages 
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames IA
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 20:59:06 GMT

Anyone ever call a disconnected number and record the message as the outgoing
message? This is not really a shenanigan, but it is a good way to avoid
people you dont want to hear from. Of course your friends will know enough to
wait for the beep.
Allen
From: atario@cats.ucsc.edu (Stephen Wayne Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: Anserphone game
Date: 9 Nov 1992 14:56:45 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: si.ucsc.edu


safarj@aix.rpi.edu (Jonah Emanuel Safar) writes:

>My favorite for  sales oriented calls....

>"Hello, this is so and so from xyz company and we would like you to try..."

>"Sorry, I am a little busy right now, could you give me your home number
> and I will call you tonight about this?"

><Moment of confused silence>

>"But I don't want you calling me at home!"

>"Neither do I."

><Hangup>

Nice ripoff of Seinfeld.  Good shenanigan, though.
-- 
  __     | atario@cats.ucsc.edu | "Oh no!  Toonces, look out!  AIIIEEEE!"  --SNL
 (_      | Delphi:  ATARIO      | "This is only an exhibition.  This is not a
 __)teve | "Happy happy!        |  competition.  So please . . . no wagering."
         |  Joy joy!"  --R & S  |              --Late Night with David Letterman
From: haljibur@coos.dartmouth.edu (Halim F. Aljibury)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: Fun With Lasers
Date: 8 Nov 92 21:05:17 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH

In article <BxD1zE.IFt@NeoSoft.com> peter@NeoSoft.com (Peter da Silva) writes:
>In article <80===bC@engin.umich.edu> ftit@minorca.engin.umich.edu (Sergej Roytman) writes:
>> My friend, you're forgetting one detail: Sweden is rather far from Ann
>> Arbor.  Besides, by the time the laser got to where it could do its
>> dirty work it had spread out too much to look like anything with which
>> you would want to sight a gun.
>
>Wanna bet?
>
>The lasers used in sights are exactly the same ones used in laser pointers.
>Here's two models: handgun model: <1mW, rifle model, <5mW. The laser pointer
>models are all in the same range.
>
>I still think it's a legitimate prank, though.
>-- 
>Peter da Silva.  <peter@sugar.neosoft.com>.
> `-_-'   "Megvlelted mar ma a farkasodat ?"
>  'U`    "Zure otsoa besarkatu al duzu gaur?"
>Das kann nicht mein Zimmer sein, denn ich atme kein Ammoniak.

Well, when a couple of my friends were shining a laser from our 4th floor
window onto the pavement, it made a spot easily 3 inches in diameter. Not
exactly the size you want a targetting laser to be.  The reason the light 
spreads out is because of imprecision in the diameter of the tube.  A thin
lasing tube will produce less spreading, but will not be as bright as a 
thick tube.

And you should have seen those people searching for the window it was 
coming from...We also shined into this guy's room thru the window at 3 in the moring...he climbed out onto a covered walkway with a flashlight to search...;)

Merlin@Dartmouth.edu
From: atario@cats.ucsc.edu (Stephen Wayne Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: Is water balloning a shenanigan?
Date: 9 Nov 1992 12:10:04 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: si.ucsc.edu


pbrown@asparagus.berkeley.edu (Paul R. Brown) writes:

>There
>would be a crowd of people with the aforementioned hairdoos waiting to get 
>into a club, and we'd peel aroud a nearby corner and "drive-by", dousing all
>of their hairdoos with our blazing water weenies.

Of course, nowadays (there's a word for ya), you can get a Super Soaker and
really nail 'em long-distance and even wind up looking like the terrorists
in "Back to the Future" while you're at it (especially in that Vanagon).
-- 
  __     | atario@cats.ucsc.edu | "Oh no!  Toonces, look out!  AIIIEEEE!"  --SNL
 (_      | Delphi:  ATARIO      | "This is only an exhibition.  This is not a
 __)teve | "Happy happy!        |  competition.  So please . . . no wagering."
         |  Joy joy!"  --R & S  |              --Late Night with David Letterman
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Another McDonald's shenanigan
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 08:59:59 GMT

Once up(on a time, a button-and-bumpersticker company (which shall go
unnamed because McDonald's threatened them with a lawsuit)  made
buttons with a smiling Ronald proffering a tray of food and the words
"Eat Shit" in small, friendly letters.

If you ever find one of these buttons, grab it fast, since they
haven't been made for years.
-- 

Kiran Wagle                           <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: gantzm@gantz.bowlgreen.oh.us (Michael L. Gantz)
Subject: Re: The FINAL WORD on URINAL SHOCKS!!!!!
Organization: GantzNet - Bowling Green, Ohio.
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 04:57:01 GMT

From article <1dd3bmINNit3@agate.berkeley.edu>, by dbucher@ocf.berkeley.edu (Daniel Bucher):
> 
> Now i suppose most of you don't have adjustable strobe lights sitting 
> around, so you're just gonna have to trust me on this one. Piss is a 
> bunch of droplets, not a solid stream. No connection can be made through
> the urine from the urinal to the penis. This prank DOES NOT WORK.
> 
> -dan
> 

	What about something with mega-volts that can jump from
droplett to droplett??  Might be a little hard squeezing that Tesla
coil into the Urinal but who knows?


-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael L. Gantz        ! gantzm@gantz.bowlgreen.oh.us ! I know JCL and also
213 Napoleon Rd.        ! osu-cis!bgsuvax!gantz!gantzm ! use Unix.  No wonder
Bowling Green, Oh 43402 ! (419) 353-5029               ! I have problems.
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans