Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.misc
Date: Tue,  6 Oct 1992 15:56:23 -0400 
From: Harith Jameel Alkhafiz <ha09+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: LNH:  Enter...Kid Kirby!


   From the Mighty Fourth World he came.  Written with the pompous,
polysyllabic prose of Lee (Stan, not Jim or Jae) himself, drawn in the
inimitable style of Jack "King" Kirby, possessing the ability to warp
perspective and foreshortening to their ultimate potential.  This...is
his pulse-pounding premiere appearance...

   Kid Kirby flew through the void, enrapt in the act of reading comic
books.  "Ah, to soar unfettered through the cosmos, bathing in the heat
of stars both aborning and dying...but, hold!"  He produced a strange
device with no apparent controls, or functioning parts, for that manner.
 It did have a screen, though, surrounded by zig-zagging lines and
seemingly extraneous shapes.
    "What villiany is this?!" he asked, his disgust _very_ apparent. 
"It seems that I must once again return to the sphere of my birth, for
it is in danger, peril most grave!"  With that, Kid Kirby bagged,
boarded, and sealed his precious comics (so they stay nice and readable
for years and years:-).  "I must warn them of the coming of...YOUNGSTUD
THE RAVAGER!"

    Hyperspace.  It sang to him, as if drawn by a master (it was :-),
yet he reluctantly left it behind as he entered Earth's atmosphere. 
"Many have rendered Earth artistically since the ending of the Kirby
Age, yet is shines as a jewel in the crown of the queen that is
reality."  He produced another Kirby device and fiddled with it.  "The
sub-spatial tridetector has located a concentration of super-powered
individuals, individuals who will, nay, who _must_ defend their world,
or it shall surely cease to be!"

Legion of Net Heroes Headquarters:

>Marvel Zombie Boy...came hurtling from the skies, aflame,
>crashing into the swimming pool.
>  "Marvel Zombie Boy!" someone screamed.
>  Lurking Girl dived in after him, then suddenly realized she couldn't
>swim (she sure did look good wet, though - what they could see of
>her).  After the Legionnaires hauled their two members out of the
>pool, Yell looked over the Zombie.
>  "Is he... dead?"  someone asked.
>  "I'm afraid so."
>  "Oh, no."
>  Yell looked up.  "Oh, don't worry.  He's always been that way."
>  "No, don't you remember?  He became Fan Boy the Image Idiot and that
>other dude for a while."
>  "Don't remind me."  A groan escaped the Zombie's lips.  His eyes
>flew open, and he grabbed Yell by the collar.
>  "You must... stop him.  Terror from the stars!  Insanity...
>Gauntlet!!!"  He sagged back down.
>  "Who?"  Rebel Yell demanded.  "Who is it?"
>  But Marvel Zombie Boy had sagged back into unconsciousness.
>  After they had put MZB in their medi-lab, Rebel Yell went for a
>walk.  He looked up toward the heavens.  Suddenly, the stars no longer
>seemed as friendly as they once had.
>  Great, he thought.  All we need is another dangling subplot with a
>shadowy master villain.
    "You are the hero known as Rebel Yell?"  Kid Kirby asked as he
stepped from the shadows.  Any normal person would have been at least
slightly apprehensive of a stranger approaching him decked out in armor
like some new god.  Rebel Yell just shrugged.  Maybe he'd spent too much
time around Super Apathy Lad.
    "Yeah, that's me," he replied with a Southern accent so perfect that
it couldn't be transcribed.
    "Look to the stars!" Kid Kirby cried, pointing to the sky and
stretching perspectives so that his arm seemed to span a few hundred
yards.  "Doom comes from the stars, and it's name is...YOUNGSTUD! 
Prepare yourselves-"
    "Hold on a second," Rebel Yell interjected.  "We can only handle one
cosmic storyline at a time, so your problem'll just have to wait on the
dangler list for a while.  When is this "YOUNGSTUD" getting here,
anyway?"
   "I-I don't know," Kid Kirby replied.  "He's supposed to be here next
week, but he's always behind schedule, so it could be months from now."
    "Good.  We'll pick up that storyline later.  For now, fill out this
application and follow me.  I have the feeling that the more members we
have when this Insanity Gauntlet thing comes to a head, the better."
    Kid Kirby shrugged, produced a highly augmented, barely
recognizeable nuclear-powered alphabet inducer and began filling out the
LNH membership application.

###
9 9
 -

Jameel
Physicist-At-Large, a.k.a. Kid Kirby

P.S.  The sampled bit is borrowed from barnejd@wkuvx1.bitnet.  I thought
that it'd help me get into the continuity more easily.



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