Organization: Penn State University
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 20:51:49 EDT
From: Tim Bieling <QAA@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.christia
Subject:    An appology (re: homosexuality discussion)

To all Christia members -

I want to sincerely appologize to all of you for parts of my replies
in this discussion which sounded like I was making personal attacks,
being intolerant, etc.  If I sounded like I hated some of you because
of what I said, I sincerely regret that you felt this way.

I know some things I've said were rather harsh, but in no way did I want
to make personal attacks - if what I wrote was interpreted that way,
I am truely sorry.

Some points:

o A discussion on any topic can't boil down to an "right-wrong/yes-no"
  type of volley.  Such an exchange solves nothing and only causes
  tempers to rise.  (I got caught by that and regret that it happened)

o A discussion means that those involved are willing to listen to alternate
  points of view.  Since the very fact that there are scholars looking
  at Bible and issues concerning homosexuality, I don't see it as something
  so cut and dry as some people have expressed.

I promise to avoid slinging any flames in the future, but I hope that
everyone contributing to the discussion will avoid a response of the
kind "It's a sin.  God said it.  I believe it.  Case closed."  (something
I did see posted to netnews this past spring)

Now - some of my reactions to what I've seen written by others, and some
background on me (which might be repeated) so that you know where I am
coming from.

I was raised in a fairly large Catholic family (one of six kids), and tho
I attended public schools, all of us attended "sunday school" every sunday
morning, followed by a traditional Mass.  Dinner every night included
saying grace by one of the kids, special prayers (and Bible reading) on
holidays, etc.  I felt it was a very positive influence in my life.

Since I grew up on a farm (with all the typical chores, etc), there was
little regular outside influence or interaction with others than members
of my family.  (School was about it)    Yet, at an early age (about 8-10)
I felt "different".  I didn't understand that feeling and I didn't feel
I could describe it to anyone.  I brushed it off as part of growing up.

To make a long background short, I did date women and prayed that the still
strong feeling would go away - it didn't.

What was that feeling?  When I was young, I couldn't describe the feeling,
but when I was older (High School, etc), that feeling became more clear -
something inside me made it clear - I felt a natural attaction to other
men.

Nothing helped me change that feeling and only when I accepted and
trusted my feelings did I finally feel a peace within me.  Another
conflict started to stir within me - the conflict of "christian beliefs"
and my feelings, so I abondoned the taught "christian beliefs" because
my inner soul told me I was right, and that "they" were wrong.

My recent writings on 'christia' come from seeing the seemingly intolerant
and ignorant posts as of late.  Most of all, I beg for acceptance and
blessings on my planned marriage to another man (tho at this point, the
whole ceremony will be symbolic).

I want to thank you all for understanding where I come from - and again
I want to express my sincere appologies if previous posts of mine have
offended anyone.

I look forward to a continued positive conversation in this area.

-Tim
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