From: earhard@ug.cs.dal.ca (Mark Earhard)
Subject: Re: Females have it easy!
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 18:17:09 GMT

In article <1992Dec19.231742.27850@nmsu.edu> dtasman@NMSU.edu (Dan Tasman) writes:
>I've been lurking for too long ....

Oh oh...  :)      Then again, so have I...
>:  oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
>> JoeMan@ (Joe Tooman) writes:
>
>> Not to bitch or anything, but it seems to me that the female does not have
>> any problem finding a guy anytime she feels like she wants a relationship.
> 
>: Funny.  I thought it was the other way around.  Yes, I *have* had my share
>: of boyfriends in my quarter of a century, but to be honest, the vast majority
>: were during the high school years.  I really didn't date much in college.  I
>: didn't date during my freshman, sophomore, or junior year.  It wasn't until
>: I was a senior that I began to date someone seriously.

Well, I haven't had my share of girlfriends (about 4) in my quarter of a
century, because I didn't date in highschool or until late into university,
though I have dated quite a few poeple.  I'd have to agree with Sharon that
it's a man's world when it comes to dating.  There seems to be a fundamental 
problem with a lot of people's perception of how this "dating" thing works-  
Both sides have limited power, but my opinion is that the guys have the 
odds.  For example:

Him:  I like her, I think I'll ask her out.
Her:  I don't really like him, so I think I'll refuse

Ok, this ends up on her side, BUT...

Him:  I like her, I think I'll ask her out.
Her:  He seems nice, I think I'll say yes.

(they go out and have a reasonable time)

Him:  I don't really think I want to start something with her
Her:  I wish he'd call back...

I would *MUCH* rather be on the aggressive side of the argument- ie it's
my option to ask/not ask, call/call back.

For example-  I went out with this quite nice woman a couple of months
ago, but she really just wasn't what I was looking for in an SO, so
I let things peter off.  I know for a fact that it ended up with
her waiting to see if I'd call again.

The option to do something is IMHO *FAR* more valuble than sitting
by the phone waiting for something to happen.

I think women have a lot more at risk by being agressive than guys.  some
guys just don't like women asking them out (I love it, and have never
refused a woman's invitation)- they don't have the controll over the
situation they feel they need.

>Sorry, Sharon.  I've heard both men and women say it, and with personal  
>experience it's true.  The woman chooses who she wants to go out with.  The man  
>chooses who is going to reject him.

Sorry, I'd say it's a woman who has to make herself charming/available/
desirable enough for the guy to call back.  If she's not attracted to
him, well, hell, what can you do?  Guys have the power of action or 
inaction!

As for phone numbers, while you're sitting on your duff waiting for someone
to ask you for yours, how many are you giving out?

You get as much out of life as you put into it.

Marcus.
-- 
__
Mark Earhard -      earhard@ug.cs.dal.ca -       05marcus@ac.dal.ca
Reclaimer:  GIVE ME THAT BACK THIS INSTANT!      BRING THE NOISE!