From: ender@shiva.UU.NET (Pete Walsh)
Subject: Re: Distress Call
Keywords: Suddenly, the moon blows up.
Organization: UUNET Technologies, Inc
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 07:45:33 GMT


[Most of Tony's post cut to save space... go back and read it if you haven't]

|> 	The thing is, I shouldn't really be trying to hold on to a
|> memory that is now dead and buried.  It is a trap that is too easy to
|> fall in to.  Yes, with the joy of relationships comes the pain, and I
|> know how it can hurt (I have a divorce pending), but I don't think that
|> I could ever give up on continuing.  I don't think anyone should. 
|> Perhaps I'm just scared that if I ever stop going forward that life will
|> pass me by.  But go forward we must, or all we do is grow stale.

Hmmmmm...  I'd like to pose a question... a serious one [*GASP* Ender being
serious?!].  I often, and I mean OFTEN, here phrases much like Tony's, 
"a memory that is now dead and buried" or some such.  Or "it's the past,
forget it."  But can you REALLY forget something?  I don't mean where you
put your car keys, but something that has a major impact on your life.  I
responded by e-mail to Hwy's original post and told him about part of my
life I won't recount here (due to space), but I was dumped in a rather
ugly fashion by a girl (she was certainly not a woman or a lady) who's
method of delivering this notice was to notify me that she had used me for
six weeks to get her ex to propose to her, which he did at the prom *I*
took her to.  I was crushed...  for a year I distrusted all women, but you
know something...  I *STILL* think about her and part of me still loves her...
oh, not the girl who dumped me...  my image of her, the way she was when she
had me fooled...  Forget her?  Fat chance... never happen... I learned a lot
from the experience, even if it hurt.  To forget it would be like unlearning.

I also had an experience like Tony's, only later in life (after high school)
and I think we could have become more than friends... til her parents up and
moved practically overnight, taking her with them (there's lotsa reasons 
behind this, all of them wrong).  It took me a year to track them down and I
sent a card...  all of my mail got sent back unopened with little notes from
her parents saying that Heather was not to have any contact with ANYONE she
knew from up here...  they were sorry, they liked me, but no exceptions...
I think of her almost daily...  I CAN'T forget... and wouldn't if I could.

I thinkk I can truthfully say that I am STILL in love with everyone I have
ever loved, regardless of the outcome... it may be different now, but it's
still there...  So my question is, can any of you say that you have ever
complete forgotten or stopped caring about someone you once loved?  That
you NEVER think of them (and I mean think of them in a positive manner,
"the good ole days" and stuff)?  Besides...  time tends to polish up
ragged memories and you begin to see things a little differently...

I realize what Tony was trying to say...  you have to move on... it just
hit me and I had to ramble a bit...  Move forever forward...  but don't be
afraid to look back and smile now and again...

|> 	This may sound lame, but you can never know whether any
|> relationship will last, and so you have to enjoy it while you have it. 
|> If it ends, at least be happy for the joy that was.  To want something
|> to last forever is wonderful.  To put too must trust in the belief that
|> it will or must is, perhaps, foolhardy.  Sometimes we taunt ourselves by
|> trying to forsee our lives too far in advance.

I couldn't agree with this sentiment more...  though often it's hard to
live by it until you're a bit removed...

|> 	Maybe none of this helps, and it's all a bit scatty, but I'm
|> sure that you will find that there is still a great life out there
|> waiting for you to live it.

Aye, there's magic still in the world...  You just have to know HOW to look...

|> 
|> 				*brotherly hugs*
|> 							Tony.
|> [Knight Defender of the Grail of Human Dignity]

-Ender
<titles in limbo>
"They say that people live and learn, some people only live and live" - Marillion
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat