HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine)
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Organization: Don't blame me, I voted for Bill 'n' Opus
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 20:00:41 GMT

In article <1992Dec21.061820.5101@netcom.com> shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller) writes:
>In article <1992Dec20.003840.24916@cs.ucla.edu> gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec19.224000.28895@netcom.com> aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine) writes:
>>>The counter-problem is that each of us is unique, and we live in a
>>>heterogeneous society where people have different expectations.
>>
>>Even more reason why we should try to negotiate in order that we can
>>come on more common ground.
>>
>If each of us is unique, how in the world does having "default behavior
>patterns" help?  Everyone has different feet, too, and it sounds to me
>like you're advocating something like everyone getting the same shoes,
>because it's so difficult and time-consuming picking out ones that fit
>and look good.

Let's try an analogy: there are certain rules and courtesies when
driving (aka "default behaviors") that make it possible for us to drive
safely.  Nevertheless, each of us still manages to maintain a unique
driving style.

>>>Overall, I think that if two people are getting together on a Date, the
>>>default assumption should be that the asker will pay --
>>
>>Why?

That's a good question.  I think that "asker pays" works best in our
society as it currently exists.  *I'd* prefer to see Dutch as the
default assumption, but I do try to live in the Real World.

>>>but both should
>>>be alert to the nuances of language that will indicate that the other
>>>person has a different default preference.
>>
>>OK
>>
>"Nuances of language"?  In other words, if I say "<sigh> Oh, okay, that's
>fine" you should pick up on that I don't want you to pay, but if I actually
>say "No, but thanks, Aahz, I'd just as soon pay my share" that's not okay?
>
>If you're going to have a default, and that's going to be the rule, make
>it the rule.  If you're going to try to mindread based on nuances in
>someone else's speech, why not just find out?  I'm not talking being 
>pushy or confrontive - just dispelling doubts and making sure the two of
>you are making the same assumptions before you proceed and wind up stepping
>on your partner's toes.

Going back to my driving analogy, you're supposed to use your turn
signals when you want to change lanes.  Many people don't bother,
however.  Nevertheless, you can often tell when a person is just about
to change lanes on you.

I agree that it's good to communicate as much as possible, but there are
so many levels of communication and meta-communication and meta-meta-
communication that I believe it's good to set up default behaviors when
you're first meeting someone.  If you still don't agree with me, take it
up with Judith Martin.
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

Virtual anniversary: 10 days and counting
From: cn573@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Ray Henry)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Beauty is only skin deep (was RE: Females have it easy)
Date: 31 Dec 1992 06:45:11 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


Right on, Dan!  It really irks me off that some (note: I did not
say all) women can play head games and then be hurt that the
object of their desire didn't respond. I remember once when I had
just started dating a girlfriend. Another girl called me up, angry
that I had not asked her out. When I stated that I had no idea she
was interested, she was absolutely shocked! Apparently, it never
occurred to her that if she asked me out, I might say yes.

Granted, this goes for some men too. I say, if you're interested
in someone, tell them. Yeah, you may make a fool of yourself once
in a while, but isn't the end result worth a few moments of pain?

Just my opinion,

Ray
-- 
"The time has come," the Walrus said,"to talk of many things;
of ships, and shoes, and sealing wax,
of cabbages and kings..."
                              --Lewis Carroll
From: dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: SF ISO S*M
Date: 29 Dec 1992 15:49:33 GMT
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: bbn.com

In article <1992Dec28.191904.13752@netcom.com>, aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine) writes:
> In article <ljug3aINN9ep@news.bbn.com> dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
> >In article <75896@apple.apple.COM>, pooh@Apple.COM (Pooh) writes:
> >> 
> >> You're right, Aahz -- shall we try climbing rope at 40 paces
> >> in a.s.b.?  Or winter-issue handcuffs at Dawn?  (Sorry, Dawn.)
> >
> >Don't apologize.  Just let me know when you and Aahz are showing up so
> >I can get my chains polished and oiled.
> 
> Just to set the record straight, I'm not letting those chains get used
> on me.

Well, of course not, silly.  Pooh said that the handcuffs were for me,
after all.  No really, I insist.



Dawn

Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved.
"Folk Song" by Bongwater
From: crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Calendars
Date: 21 Dec 92 14:58:32 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: University of Pennsylvania

In article <lzq1Hj8phb@atlantis.psu.edu> R9S@ECL.PSU.EDU (Roberto G Sung) writes:

>> My guess is that gay men are the primary customers for such calendars.  I
>> don't know any women who truly like them (except as a joke gift), but I
>> know men who do.

>you can't be too serious. good grief! after all these years of feminism
>there are still some women who insist on being sexist. FYI, i for one
>am blind to physical appearances so are most of the colleagues here
>at office. They didn't choose their mates based on the look, as a matter
>of fact they don't do the choosing at all, there are never enough women
>to allow for this luxuary [...] as for the gay men, well, i can't speak
for them. but, quite frankly since they are not game for either you or me,
why should they count as data points?



Thank you, Roberto.  

I have absolutely no idea what you just said, but thanks just the same.


-- 
The trick of reason is to get the imagination to seize the actual world --
if only from time to time.     -- Annie Dillard, "An American Childhood"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lauren Crawford  //  crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ron@turing.toronto.edu (Ron Wessels)
Subject: Re: We're Being Repressed!!!!!
Organization: CSRI, University of Toronto
Date: 24 Dec 92 15:52:43 GMT

drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux) responds to Pooh:
>Notice the Represssion Inherent in the system!!!!
>"Bring out your Dead! Bring Out Your Dead!"
>"Some Watery Tart Lobbing a symatar is not ...."
>"and Now, for something completely different....."

"He's a lumberjack, and he's ok ..."

-- 
Ron Wessels		University of Toronto		ron@turing.toronto.edu
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: was: Women, Cats, & Chocolate
Date: 30 Dec 92 10:58:03 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper

vincent@Micor.OCUnix.on.ca (Victor W. Wong) writes:

] You know, this subject line just gave me the idea for codification
] of LAW No. 5 OF INTERNET POSTING:
] 
] The relevance of a subject line to a posting diminishes exponentially
] with the amount of time during which the subject is discussed.


I don't understand what this has to do with
women, cats Or chocolate?

I thought this thread was about cruxcifying the
ungainly newbies who offend our oldbie sensibilities
about what should be posted to our most treasured
and hallowed personal preserve.

ciao
drieux


-- 
Modern Day Problems:

This is Not a .sigfile addendum to the Post.
You are just reading beyond the edge.
From: tps@jptcs.COM (Tim Sailer)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: This Intelligence Difference Thing
Date: 25 Dec 92 17:17:14 GMT
Organization: JPT Computer Solutions
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]

drieux, just drieux (drieux@wetware.com) wrote:
: 
: WAS: Subject: Re: Women: would you go out with a man dumber than you?
: 
: Ok folks, its time for uncle drieux to explain the facts of life,
: again.
: 
: 
: 1. Never go out with anyone you will have to debrief.
: 
: 2. never get emotionally involved with anyone you will
: have to terminate for reasons of national security.

Does this mean that I have to date someone that is also Q/Secret
cleared? :(

-- 
Tim Sailer
JPT Computer Solutions - SCO Sales/Consulting/Administration and Mangling
PO Box 423 Mt Sinai, NY 11766
(516) 331-9001
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: margoli@watson.ibm.com (Larry Margolis)
Subject: Re: Any Available Jewish Men Out There??
Date: Sat, 02 Jan 1993 17:45:33 GMT
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.16f by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: margoli@watson.IBM.com
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: The Village Waterbed

In <C02Con.3vo@cs.uiuc.edu> gillies@cs.uiuc.edu writes:
>
>I know several people who reject nearly every
>aspect of the religion, except for the principle that they must marry
>a jewish person.  I really would appreciate an explanation for this.

Children.  No way in hell would any child of mine be raised Christian.
--
Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
Xref: sparky soc.singles:34991 talk.politics.misc:65650
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,talk.politics.misc
Subject: That's The Problem with Youth these Days...
Date: 30 Dec 92 11:12:42 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper

markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark) writes:

] gds@york.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
] }Perhaps this is because some of us, instead of accepting traditional
] }roles, have chosen to question those roles and define roles for
] }ourselves more to our liking.
] 
] In article <095M03fBc6=w00@amdahl.uts.amdahl.com> jsp@pls.amdahl.com writes:
] >Jeez, do you think you could be just a little more arrogant about this?
] 
] Somebody's got to be arrogant, otherwise roles would have never come to be
] defined in the first place.
] 
] History demands that roles be periodically redefined and renewed as the old ones
] become dangerously outmoded.  That is the purpose, the perogative, and even
] the duty of our generation.

....They just do NOT have any respect for tradition.


Why when I was growing Up we had Respect for Our
Elders, and the American Way of Life, and Taking
Up arms against a Repressive Regime.....

Now Take These Whipper Snappers Now a days.

They Gots Them No Self Respect,
and they can't even Load a Musket Right.

Wasn't like that when I was growing Up!

ciao
drieux

ps: Pisses Me Off to NO END, that the ancestors
done screwed over My Chances for a Seat in the House
Of Lords by Running Off and Joining some new Fangled
Revolution against the King!!!!!




-- 
Modern Day Problems:

This is Not a .sigfile addendum to the Post.
You are just reading beyond the edge.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: dtasman@NMSU.edu (Dan Tasman)
Subject: Re: Any Available Jewish Men Out There??
Organization: New Mexico State University
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 02:49:44 GMT

In article <4mXLwB1w165w@iowegia.uucp> mine@iowegia.uucp (shelley kitsis)  
writes:

: Michael,
: Thank You! Kevin obviously isn't Jewish, otherwise I know that he would
: not have written what he did! With the world , as crazy as it is today,
: I, personally feel that it _may_ be a little bit easier to live in and 
: raise a family (one that will last, that is) if the couple
: has a solid foundation, and have similar beliefs when it comes to religion.
: I've seen it happen one too many times, with an interfaith marriage, where
: the innocent children are the ones that end up getting the brunt 
: of it (that is, interfaith marriages that don't work out, and they 
: end up getting bounced back and forth like ping pong balls!)
: Shelley

My Jewish dad and my Lutheran mom have been happily married for over 30 years.  
To them, religion didn't matter ... love and mutual interests did.   When they  
got married, the only problems was with my Dad's family, who were put off by  
his marrying a "shicksta" (spelling is probably wrong ... sorry!), Irish no  
less ... oy!  Aside from that, there have been no problems.

As far as being bounced around like a ping pong ball, I was given the  
opportunity to choose my faith, without guilt from my parents.

I find that because of selectivity based on religion, I have a hard time  
meeting eligible single people.  Roughly 40% of Las Cruces is Hispanic  
Catholic, and many have the attitude that the Virgin de Guadalupe would condemn  
them to a thousand years in Purgatory for even considering dating someone who  
isn't Catholic.  Attitudes like that cut down the dating pool signifigantly for  
both parties.  However, being selective about religion isn't something to be  
condemned or flamed.  I'm sure many mainstream Christians/Jews that consider  
themselves open minded would feel uncomfortable dating someone who is a Moslem,  
Jehova's Witness, Moonie, or Fundamentalist Christian.   

--
   Dan Tasman                                       dtasman@dante.nmsu.edu
                                                     molson@rever.nmsu.edu
   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
   "I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree
    Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
                                                                Ogden Nash
Xref: sparky soc.singles:35071 alt.romance:15563 soc.penpals:4957 alt.romance.chat:22536
From: ender@shiva.UU.NET (Pete "Ender" Walsh)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.romance,soc.penpals,alt.romance.chat
Subject: Re: Do you have a good pickup line?
Date: 31 Dec 1992 08:12:49 GMT
Organization: UUNET Communications
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: shiva.uu.net

In article <C046CK.7M7@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>, erisande@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Nowhere Man) writes:
|> [NOTICE: Crude words ahead...]
|> 
|> 
|> Guy: Hey!  How about we go to my house... have some pizza, beer, and a
|> fuck?
|> 
|> Woman: *Grimace*
|> 
|> Guy: What's the matter?  Don't like pizza?
|> 
|> 
|> 
|> 
|> Or something which worked for a friend of mine.  He walked up to a gal
|> and simply said, "Well, are you ready to go home yet?"  She smiled a
|> bit, stood up, and left with him.  (Of course I was left with the tab
|> and no ride home, but hey...)
|> 						Kryst -
|> -- 
|> She's so hot, yet so cold...  That's what I like about her...

Heh heh...  this sounds incredibly similar to a line a friend of mine and I came
up with whilst trying to compose a list of the worst pickup lines of all time.
Here are some highlights from said list:

"Are you incredibly beautiful, or is it just my chemotherapy?"

"Oh excuse me!  I thought you were a moose..."

"Ya know, if we cut your arms off you'd look just like Venus de Milo."

"Your place or my car?"

"Do you always eat like that?"

"Your body is like a haiku in motion."

...and so on...


=============================================-=================================
Ender, Secretary to the President of the RFA | InterNet: ender@triryche.uu.net
	   CoHost of the ARC/RFA BeaChat '92 | UUCP:  {anysite}!triryche!ender
		CoAuthor of Spaaaaace Cadets | UUNet Tech., Falls Church, VA
       & Grace's Big Bro and Official Poster |  The following is umop apisdn.
=============================================-=================================
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.sex,talk.bizarre
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Termination Notice Being Delivered by Other means
Followup-To: soc.singles,alt.conspiracy,alt.sex.game.over
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 06:42:09 GMT

tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode) writes:
] 
] Trygve   (Does this mean we'll have to conduct all massages on a 
]           "knead to know basis"?)

forget about redecorating the bathroom.....

ciao
drieux


-- 
Modern Day Problems:

This is Not a .sigfile addendum to the Post.
You are just reading beyond the edge.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: gt7760a@prism.gatech.EDU (Tri Q. Luong)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: A small question.
Date: 21 Dec 92 21:43:15 GMT
Organization: Georgia Institute of Technology


	I just have a small question.  If a couple break up before and
	get back together again.  What are the chances that they will break
	up again?  Anybody or know anyone experienced this before? 

	Thanks in advance.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                         (:  LUONG, TRI QUYEN  :)              
         Georgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332   
                Return address:  gt7760a@prism.gatech.edu
         >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> AMERICA'S OLYMPIC CITY <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Woman: will you go out with shorter man?
Date: 23 Dec 1992 12:17:23 GMT
Organization: Computing Services Division, University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4

In article <1992Dec13.075628.164795@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.IBM.com writes:
>I'm 5'9".  I dated a woman who's 6' tall for about a year...


How tall was she after the year was over?
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Females have it easy!
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 92 07:06:05 GMT

In article <oneil.725163466@cwis> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
>falk@peregrine.Sun.COM (Ed Falk) writes:
>
>>In article <oneil.724571180@cwis> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
>>|
>>|I'm sure that there are plenty of females in the same position.  While I
>>|was in college, I had a lot of very nice, very funny female friends who 
>>|could not for the life of them get a date.  They were reasonably attractive
>>|women as far as societal standards go.
>
>>Gee, that's awful.  How many and what kind of men were they asking out?
>
>Hey!  These girls were chasing after guys all over the place.  They'd ask
>classmates to come over and study with them.  They'd ask guys to come to 
>dinner in the dorms with them.  I think they made themselves quite available
>for dating.  Unfortunately, most of them suffered from Nice Girl (TM) s
>syndrome, ending up as the "sis" to talk to.

One of the important things to know when flirting shamelessly (in person
anyway) is that, when you're not serious and just doing it for fun, to
put in subtle cues that show your lack of intent (this also makes the
flirting much less threatening if your flirt object would also not be
willing to let things go beyond recreational flirting).  These cues can be
very subtle and still completely effective.

I've noticed that it's not all that uncommon for some people to emit these
cues all the time without being aware of it--indeed, for someone who does
not feel confident about dating situations, it can be a mechanism for
reducing the feeling of rejection, should it occur.  The recipient of this
attention then picks up on these cues (though not necessarilly being aware
of them consciously) and thinks, "s/he's a nice girl/guy, but just as a
friend."

How to determine if this could have anything to do with your friends' 
problems or how this might be addressed, I don't know.  Obviously we 
need some sort of class on the subject to teach us how to recognise
these behaviors and learn to control them.


On a slightly related topic, earlier today I was thinking about the
characteristic of personal "warmth"--that is, the feeling when you are
near someone that they are "warm and cuddly" or "cold and hard" (or in
between).  At least to me, people vary quite dramatically on this scale,
but I haven't been able to determine what characteristics go into 
creating this impression--it doesn't appear to be related to appearance
or anything else obvious to me.  Anyone out there in net.land have any
ideas on the subject?

Trygve
--
Up next:
  IN VGA COLOR:  lots of short, digitized comedy clips, most of which revolve
  around some bit of cultural trivia incomprehensible (or at least not funny)
  to anyone who doesn't regularly wear a pocket protector.
From: schico@PICA.ARMY.MIL (Stephen Chico (CCH) <schico>)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Help, Want Singles Ski Club in Northern NJ
Date: 22 Dec 92 17:57:58 GMT
Organization: U.S. ARDEC, Dover NJ

In article <102842@netnews.upenn.edu> crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:
>In article <1992Dec21.164644.1059@walter.bellcore.com> tjj@nomas.bellcore.com writes:
>
>>Hi, 
>>Can anybody give me the name of a popular singles ski club in New Jersey.
>
>This is the first I've heard that there were any hills in New Jersey. 
>What would these folks do, ski down each other's driveways?  Or are we
>talking about water skiing in the middle of December?

I have heard of High Life Ski Club in Denville, NJ. 
Singles? 
But many people who have time and $s to Ski are single.

We do too have ski places in NJ.  
They are big mountians too, well the lift tickets cost the same as at big
mountians and you get what you pay for. Right?
There is some very challanging skiing too.  The average person density on
the slopes is about 1 person per square meter thus requiring turning ability 
that rivals any olimpic slalom skier. 
Great place to meet people!  One can fall in love in a lift line. 
They even have expert slopes, you can tell cause the signs say so.   

>I know, I'm crabby today.  It's this bronchitis.  Think I'll go home and
>come back when it's gone.

I don't even have bronchitis, just a used lift ticket. 

SteveTheEverVaticEngineer. 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: pw@panix.com (Paul Wallich)
Subject: Re: SF ISO S*M
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 22:35:38 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Trivializers R Us

In article <1992Dec23.182050.29924@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> jwall@nyx.cs.du.edu (Jeff Wall) writes:

>BTW Pooh I don't want anyone running my household or doing my laundry
>(been doing my own laundry for years).  :-)  And Pooh don't ever give up
>your independence, It's what makes us individuals!!!

5.1

paul  who is going home with the fatted goose and no one has
      offered to tie him up. Sigh
From: falk@peregrine.Sun.COM (Ed Falk)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Females have it easy!
Date: 23 Dec 1992 18:42:28 GMT
Organization: Sun
NNTP-Posting-Host: peregrine

In article <oneil.724571180@cwis> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
|
|I'm sure that there are plenty of females in the same position.  While I
|was in college, I had a lot of very nice, very funny female friends who 
|could not for the life of them get a date.  They were reasonably attractive
|women as far as societal standards go.

Gee, that's awful.  How many and what kind of men were they asking out?

		-ed falk, sun microsystems
		 sun!falk, falk@sun.com
	"Towards the end, the smell of their air began to change"
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.romance