From: glp@fig.citib.com (Greg Parkinson)
Subject: Re: Introduction
Originator: glp@merlin
Organization: Citibank IBISM
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 20:44:18 GMT


In article <1992Aug20.054754.250@spdcc.com>, dyer@spdcc.com (Steve Dyer) writes:
|> In article <1992Aug19.134931.592@fig.citib.com> glp@fig.citib.com (Greg Parkinson) writes:
|> >Lovegod, affected by Rob Bernardo's death and wanting
|> >to reach out to other people in this newsgroup, posts
|> >a message which might have been a little naive in 
|> >its presentation.  He gets a "how nice for you"
|> >response.  It was undeserved and unfeeling.
|> 
|> Yeah, I think that's been said a few times by now.  Hey, it was sharper
|> than I'd go for, but in the big scheme of things it seemed rather
|> mild.  Or, as Jess would put it: "tart".  Let's just say I've seen a
|> lot worse from other people who never receive any comeuppance.

The fact that worse has not been criticized says
nothing about the criticism of this particular 
example.  And it may seem merely "tart" to you,
but I have a strong feeling that to someone who
doesn't know what all this stuff means it would
have had a much harsher sting.
|> 
|> >|> >Because bitterness and blase cruelty are ugly.  
|> >|> Oh, please.  Arne's comments were about the mildest form of
|> >|> "cruelty" I can imagine.  It's preposterous to describe them
|> >|> with these words.
|> >Steve, you've proven you have a singular idea of
|> >what an appropriate response is to someone who posts
|> >something personal. 
|> 
|> Greg, that was underserved and unfeeling, but I forgive you because
|> we're dear friends.

What I'm referring to is your response a while
back to Sim's posting about his mother.  I'm not
talking about the points you were trying to make,
I'm talking about the fact that you didn't seem
to think that you were being overly harsh - 
not the consensus opinion by any means.

I didn't mean it as an insult, just a statement
of fact.  It's like, I have some wonderful friends
whose idea of fashion is a bit off - so when 
they make comments about my clothes I take what
I know about them into account.

|> >|> >Arne, you're a smart, witty, worldly person.
|> >|> >I don't understand why you find it necessary 
|> >|> >to be so toxic to people who really don't deserve it.
|> 
|> Did you say "toxic"?  Not the t-word.  Next we'll be hearing the
|> r-word.  And I DON'T want to talk to your inner child.

Please.  I spent the weekend with a doctor friend
and his friends.  It's common in their vocabulary,
and I'm pretty sure it doesn't come from psychobabble.
More likely the meaning brings up images of festering
wounds.  Is "toxic" a newAge word?  

|> >It makes me angry that among the (large n) number
|> >of people who read soc.motss there are now some 
|> >people who have been trying to screw up the courage 
|> >to post, to talk to other gay people, other lesbians, 
|> >and now maybe won't - because they see soc.motss as
|> >not just an angry place, or a place with high
|> >standards of thought (and grammar), but a
|> >mean and unfriendly place.
|> 
|> I think you're about 6 years too late.

That may be true, and I may be having a huge fit
of optimism and naivete.

|> >Right, they should just get over it, get out of the kitchen if you
|> >can't stand the heat, this is Usenet and not the real world, blah,
|> >blah, blah.  I'm only responsible for what *I* post and what I
|> >contribute to this newsgroup, and I like see postings from people
|> >saying "I'm just coming out and I've learned a lot here and I just told
|> >my best friend and everything is getting better."  It may not be
|> >sophisticated or witty, but it makes me feel good.  If that means I
|> >have a bug up my ass then I guess the description fits.
|> 
|> Ah, I see.  References to Ethel Merman are keeping people from
|> coming out.  Greg, have you met Sargon the Butch, yet?

Fuck you too, dear.  Cheap shot, and you know that's
not what I'm talking about. 

Perhaps I'm a bit testy because of Rob's death - it's
a little too close to home right now.  

Perhaps I'm disappointed that someone would commemorate 
Rob's death by being nasty to someone else looking for 
help in dealing with it.  That's a new feeling for me
here, and I don't care for it.

-- 
Greg Parkinson                  Phone: 212-657-7814  Fax: 212-825-8607
Citibank,111 Wall Street        E-Mail: glp@fig.citib.com
New York, New York  10043
The opinions expressed are my own and not those of the big 'ol bank.