Newsgroups: bit.listserv.autism
Date:         Wed, 11 Nov 1992 09:12:39 EST
              <AUTISM@SJUVM.BITNET>
From:         Daniel Mont <D6M@CORNELLA.BITNET>
Subject:      parent-teacher conference

Well, here's the next segment in Alex's kindergarten saga....

We had our parent-teacher conference on Monday and there is good news
and bad news.  The good news is that we had our best interaction with
Alex's teacher to date.  We feel that she is beginning to know Alex
much better but more importantly she seems to be making a big effort
to understand him and try to develop strategies to help him.  She
also wrote down what we wanted and seems willing to ask for things
we want...to a point (I'll explain below).  The other good news is that
we were very pleased with the speech teacher's goals and strategy for
meeting those goals.  Alex is in a three day a week, 1/2 hour, take
aside program with two other boys.  Alex is working on conversational
and social language skills, and the other boys are working on different
skills.  In essence, they take turns modelling for each other.  Alex
likes this time a lot.  It is very structured, he is very engaged, and
we are happy because he is getting some positive social interaction.  The
same is true for his twice a week, out of class reading enrichment program.

The problem is we still feel that many opportunities to help Alex develop
socially in the larger groups, more free floating time periods (like
the playground) are being missed, and will continue to be missed without
an aide.  Alex's teacher feels he does not need an aide, that he is not
that far out of line with other kids and he does have interactions with them.
We have never seen this. We do not know what level these interactions have been
and our observations (me once for a little while, Nanette for one morning, and
the birthday parties Alex has attended) do not confirm this.  Again, we are
wondering if not "too far out" means he is not a discipline problem.

Anyway, as I have stated earlier we have the right to demand an aide. It
turns out the funding for this is supposedly not available (even though it
is in his IEP) and if we did get an aide it would almost definitely
not be full-time (full-time was not specified in the IEP although we
did discuss that at the meeting -- though we did say our goal would be
to phase out the aide over the course of the year).  Alex's teacher was
not clear what we would want the aide to do.  When we explained how we
thought an aide could function to help integrate Alex into social activities
and facilitate his development she did seem persuaded that an aide could
be useful.  She, however, has another idea.

Alex was given a Key Math test. His skills were measured at the fifth grade
level. He just turned five years old last month.  The school is very
excited (we are actually a little scared) and focuses on his precociousness
more than his problems (one administrator suggested moving him into the
second or third grade...can you BELIEVE it! Fortunately his teacher said
absolutely not, she recognizes the need for him to be in kindergarten
and work on his social skills and wants him removed from the kindergarten
class as little as possible...thank heavens we don't have to fight
*that* silly battle). Well, it turns out there is an untapped source
of money from Project Opportunity to provide in-class mentors for
academically advanced students.  The idea being that a teacher comes
into the class and works with Alex on academic subjects. The benefits,
as the teacher sees them, of this program are (1) he is not completely
removed from the class, (2) it will be more possible to get a better
trained aide via this source of funds, (3) the aide might be able
to spend more time with Alex than an aide from special ed funds, (4) Alex will
be engaged and challenged. Many of Alex's problems are exacerbated when he
his bored.

There is validity in what she says.  Our hope is that this mentor could
also be trained to deal with Alex's social problems and even though on
paper she is supposed to only work with academic issues that she sees
her role more broadly than that.  To ensure that we want a more defined
list of social development goals placed into Alex's IEP.  Anyway, we
have yet another meeting on Monday to discuss the mentor option, the
aide option, and Alex's social goals.  I'm hoping we can come to an
agreement.  The unfortunate thing is that Alex's teacher and I think
the psychologist think that Alex is just a socially backward genius and
that left alone he will develop OK. They doubt the autism label.  We will
go get an official diagnosis, but more importantly we just want to have
the right program at school.  We believe 100% that Alex is autistic; it
explains so much about him to us. Also, we have seen where he has come
from and we know the inordinate amount of work we, Alex, and his
previous teachers have put in to get him as far as he has gotten socially.
It is not just going to happen.

Anyway, Alex's precociousness is a two-edged sword.  On the one hand, it
makes the teachers excited and interested in his case.  It also
raises our hopes that he will have the ability to (1) support himself when he i
s older, and (2) find things that make him happy (he LOVES math).  On the
other hand, I think people are going to continue to say, "What's the
big problem. I mean, your son is five years ahead in math and reading.
What's the worry?"  They think we are being overprotective and
selling him short.  We think they still don't fully understand who
Alex is.  I must say that I am very confused and my emotions range
from being excited and hopeful to worried, scared, and confused.

I only wish I could spend a day inside Alex's head so I can understand him
more and his needs and desires more. Alas, that will never be.