From: sbiles@nmsu.edu (Susannah E Biles)
Newsgroups: rec.pets.cats
Subject: help!!!
Date: 11 Jan 93 00:16:40 GMT
Distribution: rec.pets.cats
Organization: NMSU Computer Science


Help kitty friends! I need a lot of advice and facts/figures.

Background:
me - Susan, 23, female, single, college grad student, live with sister
and two cats (both male,neutered, under 2 yrs). Very emotional, lack
of logic in my reasoning.Have been owned by up to 5 cats at a time 
since birth.

boyfriend - 24,  male, single, college grad, lives w/ mom, very analytical
and logical,  NEVER EVER HAD A PET IN WHOLE LIFE.

us - been dating for 2 years, never lived together.

problem - his lack of understanding of the importance of pets in pet
lovers life. Of course that is rather an understatement. He says they
are cute, they can be fun. Hates the smell, the 'inconvenience' of
cleaning litter boxes, feeding etc. etc. Doesn't understand the
emotional connection. "It is just a CAT" (heard that before?)
So...how did I end up with him? Good question. The cats were not a
problem in the beginning. I hadn't realized the extent of his "just
putting up with them" until recently. Now it has almost gotten to the
point that I have to choose between them. My cats are extremely
important to me...my boyfriend is extremely important to me. I can't
fathom giving my cat away for him! I can't fathom giving up my
boyfriend for them!
After major arguments the past few days, and after him demanding a
logical argument for the cats, NOT an emotional one, and me being able
to do this to an extent until I was in hysterics and him finally
conceding and maybe realizing a little bit of how important they are,
we are at sort of a compromise. BUT, he still has a MAJOR problem with
my seeming to hold cats in a higher regard than humans. He is just not
a pet owner and he freely admits that and in the past two years has
tried to understand, and adjust. BUT he is a bit on the anal retentive
side, wants to be a doctor and is VERY clean. Hates the idea of cats
walking around in a human living space.
*sigh*
Well, I guess I just want advice from any of you who may have gone
through this with a loved one, a significant other, and what
solutions, compromises you made and if they worked.

As far as the facts and figures I wanted....well, he is of the idea
that he can get diseases, or sick from a cat. Is this true? Does
anyone have any documented evidence on one side or the other? I don't
mean deathly illnesses, he isn't that silly, but he doesn't want to
even get a common cold from a cat. ( I know..then he should live in a
closet where he is in contact with no one , and nothing, right? Well,
he sees it as "it isn't realisitic to try to control the people 'out
there' but I can control my environment 'in here'") Does that make
sense? 
I know..I love my cats..throw the bf out, right? Well,
unfortunately  the relationship has gone far enough that I am at an
impasse. The only solution is to convince him to like my kitties, or
accept them. And if I can get a few facts to atleast show him that he
doesn't have to fear disease, then I am one step closer to happiness.

Sorry this was so long and melodramatic, but if anyone can help, I
would appreciate it alot!

please reply via e-mail or posting - sbiles@dante.nmsu.edu

Thanks
Susan