HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: Nathan.Bowen@mixcom.mixcom.com (Nathan.Bowen)
Newsgroups: alt.sb.programmer
Subject: Multi-Sample Programs
Date: 30 Dec 92 18:36:31 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Milwaukee Internet Xchange BBS, Milwaukee, WI U.S.A.

Does anyone have, or know of, a program that will load many samples into
memory at once, and then allow you to play any given sample at the touch
of a key?  Programs like Digistudio and Whacker Tracker allow you to
load in many samples, select them at the press of a key, and then play
them, but I'd like to press a key (on the keypad, for instance) and
immediately hear that sample.  This is a time-sensitive thing <musical
recordings, and such>... If one doesn't exist, I'll just swim through
this mess of .VOC pascal code I have around here somewhere and try it
myself, but any help would be appreciated.
Newsgroups: alt.sb.programmer
From: bouillin@ntc.nokia.com (Claude Bouillin)
Subject: SBPro+CW4.0
Reply-To: bouillin@ntc.nokia.com
Organization: kpd
Distribution: alt
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 07:35:47 GMT

Does anybody know if SoundBlaster Pro is compatible with Cakewalk 4.0
(MS/DOS version)? Would CW need an extra driver to run with SB?

Thanks for taking of your time.
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Claude Bouillin - (Internet: bouillin@ntc.nokia.com)      Phone 358-0-511 7736
         (X.400:   C=FI,A=Elisa,P=Nokia Telecom,S=Bouillin,Gi=Claude)
 Nokia Telecommunications, PO box 12, 02611 Espoo, Finland   Fax 358-0-511 7432
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: aaront@terapin.com (Aaron Tavistock)
Newsgroups: alt.true-crime
Subject: Once again..
Date: 21 Dec 92 00:03:02 PST
Organization: BBS


                                                                             
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Info or Orders to : Hugo Productions
                    PO Box 641
                    Berkeley, CA 94701
                                                                               
                                      
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: scg@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Kelly Martin)
Subject: Re: Pizza as Taxi
Reply-To: scg@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
Organization: Gender Anarchists United
Distribution: alt
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 12:44:42 GMT

dkgardin@undergrad.math.waterloo.edu (Dan Gardiner) writes:

>Here's one I came up with walking home in the rain from halfway
>across town (don't ask why, it's a long story).  Anyway, go into a
>Pizza place (any one you like) and make a delivery order.  Then ask
>if you can hitch a ride with the delivery guy.  (It may help if
>you're hungry when you do this)

as a pizza delivery driver, i will attest that this won't work with me
unless you tip me damn good (like 100%).  and don't try to just give
me part of the pizza instead; i want money. :)

yes, this happens not infrequently.  your milage will vary.

kelly
--
No responsible person attempts to absolve himself of the bad effects of his
actions by blaming the actions of others.  Irresponsible people, of course, do
it all the time.
	-- Chip Salzenberg (chip@tct.com), news.groups
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: dtasman@NMSU.edu (Dan Tasman)
Subject: Re: Pizza as Taxi
Organization: New Mexico State University
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 01:17:39 GMT

: dkgardin@undergrad.math.waterloo.edu (Dan Gardiner) writes:
: 
: >Here's one I came up with walking home in the rain from halfway
: >across town (don't ask why, it's a long story).  Anyway, go into a
: >Pizza place (any one you like) and make a delivery order.  Then ask
: >if you can hitch a ride with the delivery guy.  (It may help if
: >you're hungry when you do this)

scg@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Kelly Martin) writes:
: 
: as a pizza delivery driver, i will attest that this won't work with me
: unless you tip me damn good (like 100%).  and don't try to just give
: me part of the pizza instead; i want money. :)
: 
: yes, this happens not infrequently.  your milage will vary.
: 
: kelly

I used to deliver for Domino's some years back, and we frequently got asked for  
rides.  Our policy was to turn them down ... you never know what they're up to.   
Big city, you know. :) I'm sure your Luigi's Pizza/Angelo's Pizza/Guido's Pizza  
mom-and-pop place wouldn't mind, though.

A _real_ shenanigan would be to call Domino's, and order a pizza wih the  
following toppings in this order ... onions, black olives, green peppers,  
anchovies, sausage and mushrooms.  I'll let the net find out the colorful  
results of this combination ... 

--
   Dan Tasman                                       dtasman@dante.nmsu.edu
                                                     molson@rever.nmsu.edu
   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
   "I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree
    Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
                                                                Ogden Nash
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: kodak@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Jason 'KodaK' Balicki)
Subject: Re: Snap Crackle Pop
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 04:17:24 GMT

In article <69970003@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com> tonyz@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com (Tony Zugates) writes:
>You're right Jason... I think I mixed up another recipe with 
>something called P-I.. I am not a chemist.. I just got this recipe
>from someone else..there were two I think...           

Two someone elses?

>Anyway, I disclaim any knowledge of anything anywhere for any reason.


--Jason Balicki
kodak@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (not the Jason he was responding too.)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: murraya@ecf.toronto.edu (MURRAY ALEXANDER W)
Subject: Re: more phone phun
Organization: University of Toronto, Engineering Computing Facility
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 08:10:00 GMT

In article <C0407v.27w@world.std.com> mgm@world.std.com (michael g moncur) 
writes:
>bq276@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Michael Seese) writes:
>
>
>>In his article, Craig says he has his answering machine say
>>something like ``The number you have reached has *not* been
>>changed.''
[...]

There have been a couple of good ones on The Simpsons...to paraphrase,

"Joe's Roadkill Restaurant... you kill'em, we grill'em!  Help ya?"
and
"Al's Taxidermy... you kill'em, we fill'em!..."

L.A. Story featured, "Hi, I'm in right now, so you can talk to me
personally.  Please begin speaking at the tone.  <beep!>".

Would everyone ;) please mail me additional amusing lines with which to
answer the phone?

Regards,
Alex
-- 
 __   __ __   __ ______  ______   _____  __    __  _____
 ___ ___ __   __ __   __ __   __ __   __  __  __  __   __           Alex Murray
 __ _ __ __   __ ______  ______  _______    __    _______     Comp Eng 9T3-not!
 __   __  _____  __  ___ __  ___ __   __    __    __   _murraya@ecf.toronto.edu
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: steve@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Steve Stuart)
Subject: Re: Pizza as Taxi
Organization: Center for Biomolecular Simulation, Department of Chemistry,
	Columbia University
	<SCG.92Dec21074442@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>
Distribution: alt
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 00:00:30 GMT

In article <SCG.92Dec21074442@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> scg@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Kelly Martin) writes:
>dkgardin@undergrad.math.waterloo.edu (Dan Gardiner) writes:

>>Here's one I came up with walking home in the rain from halfway
>>across town (don't ask why, it's a long story).  Anyway, go into a
>>Pizza place (any one you like) and make a delivery order.  Then ask
>>if you can hitch a ride with the delivery guy.  (It may help if
>>you're hungry when you do this)

>as a pizza delivery driver, i will attest that this won't work with me
>unless you tip me damn good (like 100%).  and don't try to just give
>me part of the pizza instead; i want money. :)

And depending on the pizza place, it may not work at all.  At
Domino's, the managers (that's who you would order from) wouldn't let
you in the car.  Safety policy, &c.

ObPizzaShenanigan:  Order a pizza from a payphone, complete with
nonexistant, but accurate, address.



-- 
-Steve

echo "a'rfg cnf Crpv | har" | tr '[a-m][n-z] ' '[n-z][a-m]\012' | sort | tr "\012" " " ; echo " "
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: scg@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Kelly Martin)
Subject: Re: Pizza as Taxi
Reply-To: scg@mentor.cc.purdue.edu
Organization: Gender Anarchists United
Distribution: alt
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 03:56:24 GMT

dtasman@NMSU.edu (Dan Tasman) writes:

>A _real_ shenanigan would be to call Domino's, and order a pizza wih
>the following toppings in this order ... onions, black olives, green
>peppers, anchovies, sausage and mushrooms.  I'll let the net find out
>the colorful results of this combination ...

ooh, that's bad.  i though the pepperoni-mushroom-sausage combo was
bad enough.

oh, some places (like the domino's i used to work at) this won't
work... we didn't do anchovies (thank goddess).  you could get the
same result with pineapple instead of anchovies, tho.

(email me if you want to know just what it is he's talking about)
--
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: mgm@world.std.com (michael g moncur)
Subject: Re: more phone phun
Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 05:50:19 GMT

bq276@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Michael Seese) writes:


>In his article, Craig says he has his answering machine say
>something like ``The number you have reached has *not* been
>changed.''

>I'll bet you miss a lot of important messages that way, Craig.
>I hope you're not interviewing for any jobs.

Yes, many a coworker or grandparent can misinterpret a good shenanigan... 
But that's a risk you have to take.
 
I've found that starting the message with a large musical fanfare of some
sort serves to both confuse the caller, and to let them know that it
is really my machine...

-- 
~`~`michael moncur - mgm@world.std.com / sysop@onlybbs.via.mind.org ~`~`

Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: eliot@chutney.rtp.dg.com (Topher Eliot)
Subject: Re: Wrong-Number Phone Shenanigan
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 92 15:42:08 GMT
Reply-To: eliot@dg-rtp.dg.com
Organization: Data General Corporation, Research Triangle Park, NC

|> 	I tried very hard (for the first couple of weeks) to be nice and
|> tell people they had mis-dialed.  Sometimes that worked.  But I would
|> get calls on my machine: people asking me to call them back with the info.

In a book called "Don't get Mad, get Even", this guy said he had a phone
number very similar to a shop that sold fireplace accessories.  He figured
that he spent about $50 worth of his time every ?three months? (whatever)
politely redirecting calls to the shop.  So he sent them an explanatory letter
and a bill.  They ignored him or told him to take a hike or something.
So he started telling all such callers to hurry in, as today was their annual
unadvertised sale for regular customers, everything 50% off.

After a while the fireplace shop caught on, paid him is $50, and he went back
to politely referring people to the correct number.

-- 
Topher Eliot             Data General DG/UX Systems Administration Development
(919) 248-6371                                             eliot@dg-rtp.dg.com
Obviously, I speak for myself, not for DG.
misc.consumers.house archivist.  Send mail to house-archive@dg-rtp.dg.com
"Ask me about my vow of silence."
From: bq276@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Michael Seese)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: more phone phun
Date: 28 Dec 1992 17:56:48 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc4.ins.cwru.edu


In his article, Craig says he has his answering machine say
something like ``The number you have reached has *not* been
changed.''

I'll bet you miss a lot of important messages that way, Craig.
I hope you're not interviewing for any jobs.
-- 

Michael Seese
Cleveland, OH (and darned happy to be here)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: mgoodwin@nmsu.edu (Michael E Goodwin)
Subject: Re: A tall tale shenanagin
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 07:19:58 GMT

Rob,
	Nice one.. *grin* Here's one I like better.

You get all the people together and start telling them of a story they
WON'T believe, that happened to you earlier that day.

	Well, it started out in "Village Inn/insert your fav. family
type food place" and I was eating lunch minding my own business when I
noticed this lady staring at me while I was eating.
	Not really worrying about it, I continued eating, but almost
every time I looked up that lady was staring at me!
	Well about halfway through my meal I had to go to the
bathroom, and as I got up the same lady just stared at me and watched
as I walked to the restroom.
	On the way back to the table she again stares at me, so I'm
getting kind of pissed off, and decide to confront her about it. I
walk over to her table and say in a peeved voice, "Excuse me but WHY
do you keep staring at me?"
	She says" I'm sorry, buy you remind me so much of my son. You
look very much like him and are about the same age."
	Then I said, "Yeah, so?!?!? I don't appreciate you staring at
me while I'm eating, it's beginning to bother me."
	She says, "I'm very sorry, but when I saw you I thought you
were my son."
	Me saying, "SO?!?"
	She says, "Well, he died a few months ago, and I still miss
him. I'm sorry if I was staring, I'll stop now."
	(Me, feeling like scum of the earth) says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I
didn't mean to be so rude towards you about it."
	She says, "No, that's quite allright. Will you do me a favor?"

	Well at this point I just wanted to go back to my table and
finish eating my lunch so I said, "sure why not."
	She says, "When I leave would you say bye mom?"
	I then start to think this lady is crazy, but I just want to
get away from her so I say sure, I'll say "Bye mom when you leave."
And then head off to my table.
	
	Well I'm almost finished and I notice she is done and about to
leave and she looks over at me and smiles. She then heads over to the
counter and starts towards the door and I call out "Bye mom."
	She just smiled and waved at me and left.

	I then start finishing my food when the waitress comes over
and gives me two tickets. I ask her why the second one, and she said
that "my mother" told her I would pay for her meal.
	
	At this point I'm ready to kill this lady and see her just
about to get into her car, so I run out of the store and confront her.
I say, "There is no way in hell I'm gonna pay for your food lady" And
she just laughs at me and says "Oh well" and then starts to sit down
on the seat. I'm gonna kill her and start pulling the seatbelt out
from her hands threatening to call the cops and then proceed to get
her out of the car, so I start pulling on her coat, and then start
pulling on her leg,
	Just like I'm pulling yours!!!  ;-)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: kanderso@reed.edu (Karl Anderson)
Subject: Re: Net Shenanigans
Organization: Reed College, Portland, OR
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 22:48:44 GMT

In article <1992Dec20.215008.3409@sol.ctr.columbia.edu> slb22@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Seth "the Lesser") writes:
>
>Oh, *NOW* I see what "Rascal" was talking about.  When I skimmed
>alt.transgendered looking for any evidence of the proposed shenanigan, I
>automatically hit 'k' for all the usual stupid bigotry that shows up in
>unconventional newsgroups.  I didn't notice that it was all coming from *him,*
>and that that was what he thought was a shenanigan.

Indeed, it is neither a shenanigan nor a prank.  Does anyone think
that the denizens of alt.transgendered were at all confused by
"Rascal's" immaturity?  Did they wonder, "why would anyone do that?"
The actual response on a.t. was "another bigot is harassing us, please
ignore him."

Perhaps the next shenanigan along this line could be the placing of
flaming crosses in certain lawns... "Rascal", if you're listening, be
sure to sign your name prominently so that your neighbors, and the
local police, can appreciate your wit.

k

Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: jks2x@holmes.acc.Virginia.EDU (Jason K. Schechner)
Subject: Re: more phone phun
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 1992 08:12:32 GMT

In article <1992Dec25.000325.15995@dartvax.dartmouth.edu> haljibur@coos.dartmouth.edu (Halim F. Aljibury) writes:
>In article <1992Dec23.122950.4727@verifone.com> rachim_t1@verifone.com writes:
>>When your phone rings, instead of answering it, "Hello?", pick up the phone and
>>make like it's YOU who's calling.
>>
>>sample:
>>your phone rings
>>pick it up and say "Hi, is Bob home?"
>>
>>or "Hi, this is Dr. John's office, I'm calling to confirm your appointment for 
>>this Wednesday"
>>
>>Also, setting good messages on your answering machine can be loads of fun.
>>I recently had my message be:  "Yeello (pause) Hello?  Hellloooo? (tap the
>>machine) I can barely hear you, could you speak up?! (pause) Hey, listen, why
>>don't I call you back on another line, ok? sheeez, damn phone..." 

	This reminds me of something a friend of mine pulled several 
years ago.  We were sitting in his dorm room when the phone rang.  He
picked it up and said "Martian Embasy...... Oh...... Hi Dad".  The
rest of us were rolling on the floor.

-Jason
-- 
"I sneak in my own house... it's 4 in the morning... I've had too much to 
drink... said I was out with the boys... I sneak in my bedroom... slip 
into bed... I know if I wake her, I'll wake up.... DEAD!"
   							-Dave Mustaine
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: djb@geovision.gvc.com (Darren Burns)
Subject: Re: more phone phun
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 21:13:25 GMT

In <1992Dec25.000325.15995@dartvax.dartmouth.edu> haljibur@coos.dartmouth.edu (Halim F. Aljibury) writes:

>In article <1992Dec23.122950.4727@verifone.com> rachim_t1@verifone.com writes:
>>Also, setting good messages on your answering machine can be loads of fun.
>>I recently had my message be:  "Yeello (pause) Hello?  Hellloooo? (tap the
>>machine) I can barely hear you, could you speak up?! (pause) Hey, listen, why
>>don't I call you back on another line, ok? sheeez, damn phone..." 
>>
>>You wouldn't believe how many people kept calling back COMPLETELY fooled.
>>My mother-in-law had a fit, though.
>>
>>jest in fun
>>Rich

Speaking of good answering machine messages (and freaking out your
relatives), I made one entirely by accident.  Since it was actually an
accident, I guess it technically wasn't a shenanigan, but I left the
message on afterward.

What happened was, I was at a friend's place and I called my place to check
for messages.  After entering my ID code, I meant to hit the button to play
back messages but I hit the wrong one -- I hit the button that records a
new greeting message.  My machine actually told me it was doing this but I
wasn't really listening.  So I just sat there for about 10 or 15 seconds,
and suddenly realized what had happened, and said "Oh SHIT!"  Then I realized
I had just sworn into my outgoing message, and said "Oh DAMN!"  Then I
laughed for a few seconds and finished off gracefully with "Um, please
leave a message."

I called back and listened to it, and I found it so hilarious I decided to
leave it on.  My parents were out of town for a while, and when they got
back they called my place and heard this message.  My mother was in a
panic, she thought I was stoned.

Actually I had intended to change the message before they got back, but
I forgot.  Oh well.  Anyway, word spread about this message and soon all
sorts of people, including people I didn't really know, were calling to
hear it.

DB
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: wyvern@iastate.edu (Nuno Bettencourt)
Subject: Re: Net Shenanigans
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, IA
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 20:18:47 GMT

In article <1992Dec20.205817.14461@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> jon@Turing.ORG (Jon Gefaell (KD4CQY)) writes:
>In article <1992Dec20.035206.21289@jupiter.sun.csd.unb.ca> dchiasson@mta.ca writes:
>>
>>A good newsgroup to raid is alt.transgendered. They get pretty irate when you
>>post something in their group. Their responses are good for a laughor two.
>>The takeover is actually in progress as of now. Join in on the fun.
>>							-Rascal
>There is a big diference between being a stupid bigoted prick, and a
>shenanagan. Try again white boy... 
>Oh, and right on the blackboard 1,000 times the folowing:
>two, too and to.

	"right" on the blackboard? *groan* Doesn't "following" have two l's?
	Get a life buddy.

[send all flames/hate mail to jon@Turing.ORG so we can show him how
 pranks differ from shenanigans]


Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: mamacdonald@mta.ca (Steve MacDonald)
Subject: Net Shenanigan
Reply-To: mamacdonald@mta.ca
Organization: Mount Allison U, Sackville, N.B. Canada 
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 14:13:50 GMT

  I am the person who originally posted the "shenanigan" on alt.
transgendered.  AI did not plan on what I had done being posted to 
this group... I suggest that if there is going to be a net
shenanigan, that it not be directed at people who are already
tired of having unwanted posts in their group.  I only wanted to
ctest the reactions of another group to the "net shenanigan" idea
on my own.  I intended no malice and did not forsee that my post
would be considered bigoted or hateful, but then again, I didn't
think it would spread.  If a shenanigan is going to be interpreted
as hateful or malicious, then it really isn't a shenanigan.  If
a net shenanigan is going to occur at some point in time, it
would be best if this situation were avoided.

  In short, please do not follow up on my post to alt.trans.  It
was not meant to be a group effort.

Steve MacDonald
Mt Allison University

Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
From: good@pixar.com ("That Government which Governs the Least, Governs Best." -- Thomas Jefferson)
Subject: Re: more phone phun
Organization: Pixar - Pt. Richmond, CA USA
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 1992 06:20:54 GMT


Digitizing the phone company recordings can make for good message machine
fodder.  After some Mac editing, I constructed the following message for my
answering machine (the phone number here has been altered for my protection):

	"Bee--bee-BEEP The number you have reached, Five Five Five, One Two
	Three Four, has not been changed.  Please make a note of it."

I get lots of hangups.

		--Craig
-- 
	good@pixar.com
	Make Welfare as hard to get as Bulding Permits