From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Duck and Jive (was Re: Pre-Sex Contract )
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 93 03:39:41 GMT

In article <1993Jan4.011649.17077@zooid.guild.org> Will Steeves <goid@zooid.guild.org> writes:
>margoli@watson.ibm.com (Larry Margolis) writes...
>
>>Please report to james dutton for sensitivity training.
>
>Who is James Dutton?

Who is james dutton?  Indeed, that's quite a question:  sure, we all know
james as "Mister Sensitivity" and as the soc.singles storyteller who
brings us the most poignant tales that illustrate true human feelings and
give all of us a deeper understanding on the human condition, but how many
of us really know james dutton the person?  How many of us can truly say
that we've had the chance to luxuriate in the warmth of his incredible
empathy and understanding, to feel ourselves grow as human beings just 
listening to his words of understanding and compassion?  Who else among
us is so sensitive that he develops sympathy cramps just from knowing
that someone else had to sit through "Ishtar"?  Who else is so sensitive
that he was personally responsible for the phrase "not a dry seat in the
house"?  (Don't worry--New, Improved, Extra-strength Depends have cured 
this problem.)  Who else is so sensitive that he develops sympathy "being
yelled at by a judge" pains just because his ex-wife neglected to pay child
support?

Well, stay tuned, because after this commercial break, we'll be showing
you a recent documentary filmed about james, an ex-cheerleader, and what
they did with a couple of marked-down "cops and robbers" costumes and
twenty pounds of bulk Jell-O.

Trygve
--
Headache #14:  Tax audit
Headache #17:  Landlord threatening eviction
Headache #24:  Divorce and custody battle with spouse who has just
               decided to become a born-again christian
Headache #25:  Door-to-Door salesmen
Headache #31:  Lover leaves you for twit, jerk, or major home appliance
Headache #33:  Someone else's car in your parking space
Headache #43:  Resource not available.  Hanging up.
    
      Real headaches don't each quiche--and they don't go away when
faced with a couple of measly little 200 milligram aspirins.  When
you've got a headache that's bigger than a pair of tiny pills,
Bufferin just isn't going to do the job.  Extra-Strength Excedrin
won't be enough.  Your headache will just laugh at a couple of
Tylenol.  And don't even talk about Midol.  There's just one headache
pill strong enough to take care of a real headache:
    
              New, Improved, Ultra-Strength Anvil!
    
Not 350 milligrams, not 500 milligrams, not even 1000 milligrams, new,
improved Ultra-Strength Anvil is a full 260 Kilograms--strong enough
to mash even the toughest headache into an unrecognizable pulp!
    
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