From: ALI00BAW@UNCCVM.UNCC.EDU
Newsgroups: alt.parents-teens
Subject: Re: My daughter needs to be more assertive (II)
Date: 21 Jan 93 23:24:57 GMT
Organization: UNC Charlotte

In article <dlhanson.33.727635371@nap.amoco.com>
dlhanson@nap.amoco.com (David L. Hanson) writes:
 
>
>In article <1993Jan20.201519.640@news.wesleyan.edu> RGINZBERG@eagle.wesleyan.edu (Ruth Ginzberg) writes:
>
>>
>>Rachel's goal in life is total self-abnegation.  She wants to be a housewife,
>>because she thinks that's the most "selfless" thing she could do.  This is in
>... [much deleted]
>>She wants to be a housewife.
>>She wants to be the one who's always at home, always giving of herself to
>>everyone else and never considering her own needs.  Never even HAVING any
>>of her own needs, if she had her preference.  Totally "at others'
>>service" (husband,children, neighborhood children, & God -- she's very
>>into Turning Herself Over to God's Will, being God's servant, etc.).
>>
>
>Bravo, cheers for this young lady! A woman who desires to stay at home
>and do the most important work in the world (nurture and care for a family)
>is hard to find in this generation.
>
>I often read Proverbs 31:10-31 to my sons (ages 10 and 12) to show them
>the womanly qualities that God wants their wives to have.
>
>Here are verses 10-15:
>
>"A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies."
>"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."
>"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
>"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands."
>"She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar."
>"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and
>portions for her servant girls."
>
>And verses 28-29:
>
>"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises
>her:"
>"Many women do noble things but you surpass them all."
>
>We contrast that to the wife described in Proverbs Chapter 6.
>
>Proverbs 6:11 "(She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home;
>now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)"
>
>Signature follows:
>"Jesus saith unto him, I am THE way, THE truth, and THE life: NO MAN
>cometh unto the Father, BUT BY ME"  John 14:6
>=========================================================================
>David L. Hanson       Internet --> dlhanson@nap.amoco.com
>Amoco Corporation     X.400    --> A=attmail,P=amoco,S=Hanson,G=David,I=L
>Any opinions expressed are my own!
Read it again.  The wife in Proverbs is a successful businesswoman.
 
There is nothing wrong, however, with a woman--or a man, for that matter--
wanting to be a nuturer.  HOWEVER, particularly in the woman's case, on
the basis of statistics alone she is likely to be left a widow, and
given the way society is now going, she might be abandoned/divorced.
(After all, in this case the girl's father did it to her mother, and
do not young women tend to be attracted to men who remind them of their
fathers? [And men their mothers, for that matter.])  If she has no
education or training or marketable skills, what is she to do if she
is left alone to take care of not only herself but any prospective
children?
 
All that being said, I do agree that the mother here, with the best
intent in the world, IS pushing a little too hard.  There might be
some basis for compromise.  Perhaps if the girl hears some advice
about her future coming from someone else, e.g. a teacher, a
guidance counseler, a pastor she might be willing to listen more
to such a person EVEN IF THE ADVICE IS THE SAME AS WHAT THE MOTHER
IS SAYING.