From: runner@carina.unm.edu (Paul E. Ford)
Subject: Re: Mea Culpa
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 92 13:16:03 GMT
Organization: Society for a Saner Hamlet

In article <jpynh=f@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:
>In article <1992Sep13.003208.20233@bbxrbk> russ@bbxrbk (Russ Kepler) writes:
>
>Chris, having done such a stellar job of directing us to Russ' 
>(!Peeve) shooting range the weekend before, rode shotgun as 
>Navigator, and Paul kept company in the back with the Black Widows. 
>Well, okay, there weren't any, actually, but claiming that there 
>were was fine entertainment. ("Jesus, Paul, look out!") <Heh heh 
>heh>

Ahhh..  but Dan, you forgot to mention the two occassion (within the
span of one week) upon which you tried to kill Chris and I -- there
may have been a third, but we'll get to that.

Failed attempt#1 : Whilst en route to the aforementioned !Peeve (ie the
place of firearm discharging), Dan blindly drove over the bridge across
the freeway and was about to forego the required (?) stop at the stop
sign when Chris (though nearly worthless as a navigator) pointed out the
oncoming vehicle on the feeder road to the right stopping Dan mere feet
from killing both passengers.

Failed attempt#2 : A mere six days later, while cruising down I40 on the
way out to Sandia Crest for the 2.5 hr search, Dan "innocently" decided to
change to the middle lane, signalled the change, and began to make his move
into the lane of choice.  Milliseconds later, from the back seat comes a
screech (yours truly), while simultaneously from the passenger seat, Chris
babbles incoherently while gesturing out the driver-side window where all the
world could see the large, towering semi was also making its move into the
center lane.  Agian, we had narrowly avoided death and dismemberment at the
hands of Dan "Deathdealer" Hillman as he nonchalantly returned to the lane
of origin.  Why "Deathdealer" you may ask.  What else would you call someone
who blatantly tried to kill you *twice* within 7 days, *and* keeps pet
black widows at his home as well as in his car?  Hmmm, makes you wonder whether
Booter's black widow was a plant by Deathdealer....  Now, the only thing I
couldn't discern from the failed second attempt was why Dan was willing to
take his own life on this occassion, that is until I thought back to the
previous night, and what I believe to be...

Failed Attempt#1.5 : Dan's True Form -or- The Vacuous Go Hungry Again

It was a dark Friday evening (as evenings in September are wont to be) as
the four intrepid peevesters hit the town for a night of drinking and
debauchery (drinking anyway).  Elaine had just returned from the Road Trip
to Hell (TM) and had apparently instigated the plan.  Of course, since Dan
is the party animal of the group, the selection of drinking establishment is
left up to him as we all pile into the StudlyBooterTealWheels (TM) after a
brief stop at the Frontier for a bite to eat.  Where does Dan lead us?  To the
Monte Vista Firestation, one of the refuges of the Vacuous Denizens of the
City of Pain and Death.  That's right, the place was packed wall-to-wall with
Young-Yuppies-to-Be.  Given that Dan was the only one of us who was anywhere
near being dressed to fit in, obviously he is the YYB agent in Peevetown, tasked
to bring innocent peevesters for the ritual brain-sucking and creation of new
Young-Yuppies.  Luckily for us, we noticed the subtle feeling of our brains
being sucked through the various openings in the skull and left the vile
place before any irreparable damage was done.  I am now fairly certain that on
our way out of the Yuppy Den as we passed through the small gathering of
Adult Yuppies at the restaurant downstairs, Dan received the telepathic
message from his brethren that he must kill us, regardless of the cost.  This
begs the question, is Dan one of the "friendly" aliens visiting Claudio, an
enemy alien who was sent to thwart the efforts of Claudio's visitors, or
*just* an agent of the evil forces lurking in the darkest depths of our
society?

>
>For anyone in Peevetown doubting the New Mexico peevers' powers of 
>self-restraint, please be advised that when we first found Russ on 
>Sandia Crest, he was near the edge of a rather high cliff.

!Peeve : seeing what little we did of the airshow at Kirtland AFB while
sitting near the edge of said cliff.

Peeve : no apparent death and destruction at the airshow, at least not that we
saw.


pef
-- 
pford@boa.cs.unm.edu (Paul E. Ford  -- CS Grad Student)
alt.peeves official "Player of Bit Parts" and "Yes Man"
"You just wanna see me drag my hooters through my barbeque..."
	--Booter on Dan's suggestion to lean forward when eating