HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Calmly, breathing deeply....
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 19:23:06 GMT

In <1992Nov18.025507.1200@dg-rtp.dg.com> cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:

>Peeve: Dalhousie and their discovery of this group.

I'll tell ya, it must be the nippy air and snow up thataway.  Or maybe being
on an ISLAND, which I think Nova Scotia is, isn't it?

Proximity to the Moosehead factory is also a likely factor.

Well, I am about to the point where I am gonna drop dead if I don't get some
skiing in!  I couldn't go last year at all because I got sick between
quarters, but now I've got that out of the way for this year and I am really
gonna be into it.  I just hope there's enough snow at Tahoe.  A few years ago
I used to go skiing every weekend.  Now I just get two weeks out of the year.
That's a real peeve.

The anti-peeve here is the fact that when I do finally get onto some snow,
I have so much damned fun I can't stand it.  And dammit, I'm the best
skiier I know!  Skilled, fearless, and willing to go into the Jaws of Death
or some other (appropriately) dangerously named trails, that's me!

You know, I am getting excited just thinking about it.
--
No, you do not know me.
Yes, I KNOW I look like someone you know.  - Bill Berbenich, net.hedonist
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: My dear officemate
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: All he wants is a little piece
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 19:01:25 GMT


In article <1992Nov17.014611.20694@twg.com>, donp@twg.com, The Cross I Must
Bear defecates:

	A Peeve Poem
	------------
	        By Don Pette
	
[GACK! I can't repeat this material]

It's not his socks that're the problem, it's his warped sense of fashion in
general.  He dresses like a hybrid of Surfer, Punk, Noid, and Joe Kool:
snakeskin boots, floral baggies, and nifty sweaters for instance. And there's
the 4-wheel drive trucklet which has probably never left the pavement, and the
phantom batches of homebrew, and...

I repeat, his only saving grace is his grandfather, the Master of Pickling. If
it weren't for the bounty the lad brings to work I'd eject him and his Sun
from the cave and work in peace. Hold it! I'd keep the Sun and upgrade it.
Don'd still have to go, though.

--
Nolan "Man enough to do woman's work" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	

Xref: sparky alt.peeves:17278 rec.motorcycles:39586
From: library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,rec.motorcycles
Subject: Re: BDIVOs in general
Date: 18 Nov 92 11:20:51 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK
Originator: library@merlin.comlab

In article <lgifagINN8b8@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>
>
>Gratuitous roadhogging is worse, because it creates the conditions under
>which people are tempted to tailgate.  Roadhogs and left-lane bandits
>deserve to be run off the road, pulled from their vehicles and summarily
>disembowled.
>
>Geoff

I knew I was doing something wrong but I blame my driving instructor (well
three instructors actually) cos they kept telling me "drive on the left".

And they wouldn't listen when I'd say 

"But Geoff Miller tells me I'd deserve to be run off the road for that heinous
 crime."


Gordon
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 14:17:47 GMT
 <Bxv3BG.EAH@nic.umass.edu>
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00 beta rel2

In article <Bxv3BG.EAH@nic.umass.edu>, Jenny Gutbezahl writes:

> In article <lgh9bpINNcmu@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM> banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking) writes:
> 
> >
> >Nope.  You talk too much.  Shut your trap, bitch.
> >
> >Dan is basically looking for a woman that knows when it's time to
> >talk and knows when it's time to suck.  If you *ever* think it's
> >time for the former, you're wrong.
> >
> 
> Actually, I wasn't talking when I posted the message to which you are
> responding.  I was typing.  I touch type.  So I don't even need to turn
> my head to face the keyboard.

Ye ghods.  Jenny, that sort of dimwit pedantry went out with
75baud teletypes!  Get a grip, woman!

> Being a fairly well-coordinated type, I'm quite capable of
> doing two things at once.  In other words, it's possible for me
> to post a retort and suck AT THE SAME TIME.

Cry? Prevaricate? Masturbate? People who say "I can do multiple
things at once!" are a source of constant amusement for me. As if
they were ultra-coordinated masters of the universe. Sheesh, the
average housecat can do two or more things simultaneously. This
sort of ability isn't something to gloat about.

Now if you were stating; "I can cook for four, do the housework,
watch television, read four books and a teledex, talk on the
phone, whilst posting on Usenet, and running in my new
skin-massage unit", then there might be something to ooh and ahh
about.

> Jenny "Making the most of my new status" Gutbezahl

Your current status could be coelesced down to "Lost and
bewildered in Usenet"

Sounds like barrels of fun.

I'm happy for you. Truly I am. 

<sheesh>

Dac
--
dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
From: jdare@math.rutgers.edu (James Ananda Dare)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: alt.peeves protoFAQ
Date: 16 Nov 92 03:35:07 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

In article <Bxq6ED.C3s@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu>
pmmuggli@midway.ecn.uoknor.edu (pauline muggli) writes:

>>Announcing - the great alt.peeves faq competition.
>i did like the protoFAQ.

Could somebody repost this or e-mail it to me?  I seem to have missed it.

Thanks,

--
            Jim  "Squick you and your little dog Toto, too!"  Dare 
                            jdare@math.rutgers.edu   
                    -------------------------------------
                    "Tastelessness is the spice of life."
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Re: Broken hand peeve
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Clinic for the Cerebrally Challenged
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 22:12:10 GMT


In article <1992Nov16.172704.1522@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
[injury story deleted]
|>Anybody else here ever hurt their widdle hand like that?  An impact
|>injury, I mean?  Ow!
One fine summer day, five days before the start of my senior year in high
school, (many years ago) I dropped a verrrrry heavy piece of equipment on my
left great toe. The impact split the toe as if it were a grape, popped the
nail off (quite cleanly, right at the cuticle) and broke the last bone
lengthwise about halfway down. I bled a bit (gotta clean out those foul germs
and cetera). The pain was juuuust bearable without OTC analgesics. The family
doctor said it would have hurt worse if the nail hadn't come off - pressure
buildup underneath and all that.

Details of the injurious hardware, for the nerdly - hit N now if you don't
care


The location was the family's equipment rental agency. We had several
industrial tractors which had trailer hitches on the rear-mounted Fresno
scrapers and used these tractors as tugs to move wheel-mounted equipment
around the yard. I was hooking up a sturdy 85CFM rotary air compressor (Leroi,
a fine brand if ever there were one); I was pullllllling it toward the ball on
the Fresno, and it was going the other way. The tongue was made of channel
iron about 9 inches deep; the bottom front corner of the tongue caugnt my toe
right at the base of the nail! The grape analogy describes the way the flesh
of the toe looked immediately after the impact

--
Nolan "Man enough to do woman's work" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING
Keywords: I HATE DICKHEADS
Date: 17 Nov 92 07:59:27 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

Proving he's good for something, (Steve Franklin) provides this
lead-in line:
>       I almost lost it when this drunkard asked me "Heh, buddy, how's the
>       weather up there".

Having been asked this question a few times, I've determined the
*right* response is "It looks like rain." immediately before
spitting on the top of their head.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
".....what I was encouraging women to do is to
get a life, not necessarily a career. I think
a career is a poor substitute for a life."
                                               -- Germaine Greer
From: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Claudio peeve
Date: 17 Nov 92 00:35:58 GMT
Reply-To: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Organization: Do they make a washing powder called Caliban Automatic?

In article <1e8hvdINN8er@agate.berkeley.edu> curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:
>	Wherefore art thou, Romeo?  Where the fuck, eh?

Peeve:  People who don't know what "wherefore" means.  Almost as bad as
"Lead on, Macduff".  No, worse.
  __                                ____
\/ o\ Paul Crowley pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk \  /
/\__/ "I'm the boy without a soul"   \/
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: What the road to hell is paved with
Date: 20 Nov 92 22:43:22 GMT
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA

In article <1992Nov20.181018.25334@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu
(Bill Berbenich) writes:
>!Peeve:  The right of the states to self-determination.  That's why there
>         ARE states, so all the similar bigots can congregate with others
>         of their kind.

The only problem is, then they breed...

        don
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: And just what the fuck do Canuks know about beer?
Date: 21 Nov 92 01:55:54 GMT
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article MB2@news.cso.uiuc.edu, dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis) writes:
> As if popularity had ANYTHING to do with quality...

S'amatter, son?  Don't you believe in DEMOCRACY?

---
Brian Scearce                                           bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
              The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
                  "You can't fit the truth on a t-shirt, man."
                                 "That'd fit."
From: egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Running out of petrol (was Re: Car peeve)
Date: 23 Nov 92 18:14:21 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <g0qqgh#@lynx.unm.edu> hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman) writes:

[Sad story about running out of fuel]

This reminds me of the first time I came up to Edinburgh, driving a
minibus which 

a.  was guzzling fuel and
b.  had a faulty fuel guage.

Unfortunately, because of circumstance [b], we only became aware of
circumstance [a] when the fuel guage finally came to it's senses and
told us that we had approximately 2 thimblefulls of Diesel left in the
tank.  At this point it was 12.30 am and we were driving through
Northumberland, the only deserted bit of England left.

We managed to crawl to Dunbar* when we finally came to an ignominious
halt outside a late-opening chinese take-away, which we foolishly
approached in the hope for comfort, food and civilisation.  We totally
failed to realise that Dunbar on a Friday night shortly after pub
closing time becomes mysteriously tranformed into a suburb of Beirut.

We locked ourselves into the minibus with our chips and watched in dazed
disbelief as bottles, cans, shop windows, vomit and cars were hurled
between rivalling factions, all wielding their haggis suppers and making
the air blue with their ancient, petrifying battle-cry;

"FuckinEnglishWankersDon'MessWi'MePal"

We were finally rescued after having made a brave dash for a nearby (and
subsequently extinct) phone box.  Our gallant cavalry whisked us away at
4 am.  The battle raged on.

*Dunbar.  By day, a bustling, provincial seaside town 30 or so miles
from Edinburgh.  By night, cess-pit.  

Babs
From: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Is it Naivete, Stupidity or Homophobia? (Re: Recent Peeve
Date: 23 Nov 92 18:00:29 GMT
Reply-To: pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Crowley)
Organization: Do they make a washing powder called Caliban Automatic?

Quoting charless@sco.COM (Charlie Stross) in article <1992Nov23.104800.12663@sco.com>:

If you're going to take the piss out of that great paper tiger PC, at
leasst get it right.  PC and prudery aren't the same thing.

>"FUCK"			printf("[FORNICATE]");
Actually, "fuck" is most often used...

>"PECKER"		printf("[PHALLUS]");
Try "tool of the patriachy".

>"WHORE"			printf("[PROSTITUTE]");
"Sex worker".  Actually this is quite a good term since it's close to one
prostitutes have always used about themselves anyway.  "Carla, she's one
of my friends who works."

>"cripple"		printf("physically handicapped");
"Handicapped" has been out for at least five years; "disabled" was the
PC word 'till "challenged" caught hold.  Try "physically disabled
person".

>"crazy"			printf("emotionally handicapped");
More usually "emotionally ill"

>"deaf"			printf("hearing impaired");
Different; some hearing impaired people can hear a bit.  More usually
"deaf and hearing impaired people" (remember, the longer it is, the
better.)

>"blind"			printf("optically challenged");
"partially sighted"

>"bums"			printf("the homeless");
*NEVER* "the" anything.  The phrase "the homeless" will have PC people
looking daggers at you.  It's got to be "homeless people."

>"slaughter"		printf("put away");
Depends who's doing the killing; I've always thought of "put away" as a
euphemism for the would-be Rambos of this world.

_____                                __  
\\ // Paul Crowley pdc@dcs.ed.ac.uk /o \/
 \X/  "I'm the boy without a sole"  \__/\
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: The Unbearable Shortage of Truly Weird People
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 01:39:20 GMT

I'm peeved because there simply aren't enough creatively weird people in
the world.

Sure, there are BDIs in cars who run over entire packs of cub scouts
because they pounded down a six pack and drove without realizing that
their eyes were closed.  There are weird and creepy people in Milwaukee
who kill other people and then cook them up for dinner.  There are the
people who sit at the back of the bus, muttering about how aliens talk
to them through their shower head.  And there are the people who really
think that George Bush put LaRouche in prison because he was afraid to
face him in a fair election.

But there really aren't enough TRULY and creatively weird people out there.
I want to see more people:
- go on job interviews just to play with the interviewer, wearing their
  clothes inside out and carrying resumes written in purple crayon.
- put the baby silhouette from a box of huggies up as their target at the
  range and shoot at it.
- do Quasimodo imitations during design reviews, walking crookedly around
  the room while drooling out the words "Sanctuary!  Sanctuary!"
- walk up to a traffic cop and ask if he knows what the "wherefore" line
  from Romeo and Juliet REALLY means.
- drive around town in a car with the license plate "EVIL 1", a black Camaro
  with tinted windows and little purple duckies stenciled on the doors

I know for a fact that there are some such delightful people out there,
making it all bearable by pointing out what a joke life really is.  But
there sure aint enough of them out there and that REALLY peeves me!

ObNightmare:  The fear that Dan Quayle might have been such a person who
took weirdness to a level too high for me to appreciate.

   don
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first
female reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was as
succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before."
        - F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
From: tim@comphy.physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Take up a hobby, instead
Date: 20 Nov 1992 06:18:03 GMT
Organization: Up the,
Reply-To: tim@physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
NNTP-Posting-Host: physics.orst.edu
Summary: You can't even make music without gutting a cat
Keywords: Losers

In article <1992Nov20.010222.20405@igor.tamri.com> donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:
>In article <17958@autodesk.COM> booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards) writes:
>>Men don't care as long as they "get some".
>>Women care a lot more about how their partners behave than men do.
>>Men don't want to think about it, as long as they "get some".
>
>Elaine, surely you're too intelligent to really BELIEVE in such a
>simplistic explanation.  I mean, the idea that men are only out to
>"get it" is about as on-target and thoughtful as my saying that
>women are only out to find someone with Ross Perot's bank account

In this ever so Pollyanna Climate in which we live it has become unthinkable
to state certain things just because they are not the way we would like
things to be, never mind that they happen to be facts.  (Save the reality
is all a matter of perception arguments.  According to Dwayne the crackhead,
I may very well have wings, but my "flight" off the roof will still be over
in 4.5 seconds)

One example is to say that a woman is behaving erratically because of her 
period.  The overwhelming majority of women that I have known have, at most,
become irritable, and understandably from what I hear.  A small minority,
whether it be due to poor diet, heredity, or whatever, become irrational.
Some women that I've known have gone back on every thing that they had said,
done, or worked for in the preceding 27 days.  I regret that this happens.
It is unfortunate that many men will use this as a default excuse to blame
women regardless of the circumstances.  Nevertheless, it still happens.

As stated above, the male stereotype is loud, aggressive, and a hounding 
plague to most women.  Well, face facts, testosterone, the hormone that
causes most masculine traits is toxic.  It destroys nerve cells.  Aside 
from this, male hormone levels fluctuate also, and when the testosterone 
gauge pegs out at saturated, the so-called rational sex is about as capable
of objective thought, and as well behaved, as a rabid dog.  

Grudging !peeve: The recent release _Of_Mice_and_Men_, left me feeling as if
                 I'd been hit in the stomach.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      Tim Mefford       | "If you pick up a starving dog and make
                        |  him prosperous, he will not bite you.     
  tim@physics.orst.edu  |  This is the principal difference between
                        |  a dog and a man." - Mark Twain
________________________________________________________________
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Dalhousie anti-peeve
Date: 16 Nov 1992 16:18:57 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <28192@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson) writes:
>
>/.dal.ca/h:j

No.  Oh no.  That is simply NOT the solution.

The day I have to start using a killfile in this group
there'll be polar bears gamboling on Lucifer's throne.

c
From: kilroy@acme.gen.nz (earthbound misfit, I)
Subject: Re: People who say they'll do you a favour (favor)
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 92 02:59:28 GMT
Organization: ACME BBS - Public Access Usenet, Palmerston North, New Zealand

library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell) writes:

> donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:
>
> >What's a courtesy light?  We USAns have two kinds of ligts in our cars:
> >map lights and high-beams-from-hell, which we use to blind obstinate
> >slowpokes and send them over cliff edges to a fiery death...
> 
> I suppose it would be what you there critters would call a map light. But we
> Brits being a kinder, gentler set of folks call they courtesy lights. Maybe
> because they come on automatically when one opens a car door to let someone
> see where they are about to sit. See courtesy!

Bizarre. We refer to those lights inside the car as "inside lights". I
appreciate that such jargonified technowank terminology may be confusing to
those foreigners who've devised kindler, gentler nomenclature for their
automotive light fittings, but I've always liked it. 

						- k
-- 
Craig Harding            kilroy@acme.gen.nz             ACME BBS +64 6 3551342
"Jub'er lbh pnyyvat n obmb?"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: larry@peak.psl.nmsu.edu (Evil Engineer doin' it the Cowboy Way)
Subject: Re: Doggie-blow
Organization: New Mexico State University, MetaPhysical Science Laboratory
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 09:01:48 GMT

In article <92320.222044LXP111@psuvm.psu.edu> <LXP111@psuvm.psu.edu> (Long Phamdo rocking PSU) writes:

   It's bad enough when a dog comes up to you and sniffs your private, but
                                                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^
Strange. I always called mine the General. Now I guess I understand why..

   when he starts licking and playing with it ... UGH (The only person I 
   know who would like this sort of thing is Madonna..I'll pass).

Reminds me of the story about the two fellers watching a dog licking his
er.. private[s]. 

The first feller said, "Damn. I wish I could do that."
The second feller said, "That dog'd *bite* you.."

So. You know Madonna, eh? 
Tell me. Is she as nasty in person or is Elaine right?

L.
"Yeh, Buddy..            | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)|  _~~_
 I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory        | (O)(-)
 Right HERE!!"           | New Mexico State University          |  /..\ 
 (computer THIS!)        | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003    |   <> 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs..
Revered, now I live on. O did I do no evil, I wonder ever.

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dinn@ug.cs.dal.ca (Michael 'Moose' Dinn)
Subject: Re: Landlord Peeves!! (was Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING)
Organization: Math, Stats & CS, Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS, Canada
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 00:20:31 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.190711.15799@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
>>This was not a problem until I needed to relieve myself if that god-awful
>>can of lemonade I drank that morning. Venturing into the washroom, there
>>resided a hole about 4 inches in diameter, of which I had no hope of hitting
>>unless I laid on top of it.
>Ah, yes!  The famous "Italian toilet!"  (No offense, please, ObTerrorist?)
>I hadn't realized those had made their way west this quickly!

I've heard things like this about Europe. Seems they may actually be true,
Hmmmm. I wonder if Curtis struck Europe some time ago and is now coming to
North America to plunder our toilets?

> Now I just realized something about Moose.  If I was in the nicknames 
> business, I'd have called him "Gunga."  But maybe that's too obvious.  

harumph. Michael 'Gunga' Dinn. Nah. Doesn't sound right. Although I have
been called Michael 'Octopus' Dinn by a girl I know.

> Anyway, all I know is I don't wanna piss off somebody with a nickname 
> like Moose.  I have seen a few Mooses in my day and they are all quite 
> large and threatening.  Good nose tackle material.

Large? yes, that I am. Threatening? Not really. I'm quite harmless, unless
you get me really pissed off (a feat accomplished by only one person so
far...)

--
 Michael Dinn, CS Student | dinn@ug.cs.dal.ca | Use your modem! (902) 461-4773
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,rec.motorcycles