HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: beh10@duts.ccc.amdahl.com (Barry Holsinger)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny Names
Date: 6 Oct 92 21:18:26 GMT
Reply-To: beh10@DUTS.ccc.amdahl.com (Barry Holsinger)
Organization: Amdahl Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <1992Oct2.150349.1261@news2.cis.umn.edu> hansen@deci.cs.umn.edu (David M. Hansen) writes:
>In article <1992Sep30.224044.27506@newshost.unh.edu>, jss@kepler.unh.edu (Spectre) writes:
>|> In article <1992Sep25.205126.13293@spectrum.xerox.com> eradm@brahms.Berkeley.EDU (Erik Radmall) writes:
>|> >
>|> >A public park near Rexburg, Idaho: Beaver Dick Park (I've actually been there!)
>|> 	In Avon Colorado, there is a Liquer store that is wonderfully named:
>|> 				Beaver Liquers

A filling station in Piketon, Ohio:  Pee-Pee Gas.  You can buy a bumper sticker that sez
     "I filled up with PEE-PEE gas."

--
Barry Holsinger       | I ain't git'n et by no gators to make my wage!
Sunnyvale, CA         | There are better ways to make a buck in dis
beh10@DUTS.amdahl.com | nutty town!!  -Ralph Snart
From: sweide@uceng.UC.EDU (Steven Weide)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Purity Tests STOP!!!!
Date: 14 Oct 92 16:25:28 GMT
Organization: University of Cincinnati, Engineering College

In article <1992Oct13.165820.25527@ultb.isc.rit.edu> kak6279@ultb.isc.rit.edu (K.A. Kirchoff) writes:
>Would you ALL please STOP asking for the DAMNED purity test!?!?!?!?!
>If I hear another PURITY TEST request, I'm going to personally fly to
>where you live and cut off your privates!!!!  And someone who's got the
>damn test, post the mother.  I'm too tired of people asking for them,
>OK?
>Is it too much to ask for?  I know it's kind of funny NOT to post it,
>but it's ruining the damn net.  And to all you freshmen who reallllly
>want it, why do you want a 5,000 question test?  If you can answer three
>a minuite (sp but who cares) at 20 seconds each, that's 
>1666.6666667 minuites, or 27.77777778 hours.  If you spend that long
>trying to find out what your girlfriend has done, she DESERVES to leave
>you!!!
>
>										FireMAN
>

Please add me to the list of people who want a purity test, preferably
the 10,000,000 question one.              can't have fun with the net,
who can you have fun with (well yourself but that's a different conversation).
                             Steve
From: tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Bumpersticker
Date: 9 Oct 92 03:31:25 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <2609@tymix.Tymnet.COM>, filfeit@rael.Tymnet.COM (Fil Feit) writes:
>Seen in Tacoma Park, MD:
>
>Pot is a herb.
>Bush is a dope.
>
Another bumper sticker:

PICKARD/RIKER IN 92

-- 
+ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - +
|         ///   ///    ///////                 -=FORTY-TWO=-                |
|        ///   ///   /////////         We *ARE* The meaning of life!        |
|       //////////  //   ///     << TMA4@LEHIGH.EDU -=- SES3@LEHIGH.EDU >>  |
|      //////////      ///           Terry Auspitz        Sarai Spohn       |
|           ///      ///            Stephanie Ridley       Matt Peck        |
|          ///     ////////      << SLR7@LEHIGH.EDU -=- MRP2@LEHIGH.EDU >>  |
From: Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Bumper Stickers
Date: 16 Oct 92 17:43:06 GMT
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Distribution: world

From a recent issue of the Vancouver Sun, an article entitled, "Pull Up A
Bumper And Read Awhile."

- Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
- We're saying together for the sake of the cats.
- It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
- My karma ran over your dogma.
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
- It's a bad as you think and they are out to get you.
- Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
- My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh,
       I'm going to miss her.
- I is a college student.
- Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
- Beer isn't just for breakfast anymore.
- Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
- Eschew obfuscation.
- Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
- It's lonely at the top but you eat better.
- Don't steal. The government hates competition.
- Is there life before coffee?
- Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
- Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.
- Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
- The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
- I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
- My other wife is beautiful.
- Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- Geez if you believe is honkus.
- Save British Columbia, when you leave take someone with you.
- I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
- If money could talk it would say good-bye.
- When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.
- Just when you think you've won the rat race, along comes faster rats.
- If's it's too loud, you're too old.
- Wink. I'll do the rest.
- The worst day at the lake is better than the best day at the office.
- Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
- Exxon suxx.
- Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.

... and then there was the personalized licence plate on the car travelling
down Georgia Street in Vancouver. The driver was quite obviously a Priest,
and he must have had a great sense of humour.  The plate read, "RYTHMN".
From: g88d4938@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MR GE DOYLE)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
Date: 6 Oct 92 12:15:27 GMT
Organization: Rhodes University, Grahamstown, South Africa

In article <1992Oct5.180043.12897@menudo.uh.edu> cosc184z@menudo.uh.edu ((COSC148O) 92F00761) writes:
>From: cosc184z@menudo.uh.edu ((COSC148O) 92F00761)
>Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
>Date: 5 Oct 92 18:00:43 GMT
>In article <g88d4938.17.718125216@giraffe.ru.ac.za> g88d4938@giraffe.ru.ac.za (MR GE DOYLE) writes:
>>In article <1992Oct1.185854.12811@welchgate.welch.jhu.edu> davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi) writes:
>>>From: davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi)
>>>Subject: Re: cascades, and how to avoid them purple
>>>Date: 1 Oct 92 18:58:54 GMT
>>>In article 2674@mprgate.mpr.ca, dyck@mpr.ca (Trevor Dyck) writes:
>>>>In article <18589.2ac98f5c@ecs.umass.edu> rajain@ecs.umass.edu writes:
>>>>>In article <1992Sep30.011320.15121@schbbs.mot.com>, CENG51@maccvm.corp.mot.com (Craig Witkowski) writes:
>>>>>>>In article 6740@newshost.anu.edu.au, herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriks
>>>>>>>>> titus@coombs.anu.edu.au (titus chiu) writes:
>>>>>>>>>> herm@coombs.anu.edu.au (Herman H. Fredriksson) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>> rdippold@cancun.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN) writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>Avoid cascades -- end all your lines with ``purple''!
>>>>>>>>>>>"Bug" won't rhyme, but do you think "burp"'ll?
>>>>>>>>>>Cant find a rhyme, why not ask Steve Urkle?
>>>>>>>>>And get him to sing the Yankee Doodle!
>>>>>>>>gotta say finding a rhyme is a battle!
>>>>>>>And take the choicest cuts of cattle!
>>>>>> In your car blast Heavy Metal
>>>>>First, I got a score to settle $
>>>>Since when does "settle" rhyme with "purple"?
>>>Does purple rhyme with apple?
>>What about apple and settle?
>Does anyone have an orange?
What rhymes with orange?
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.fan.warlord
From: pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin)
Subject: Re: GREETS
Reply-To: pt@geovision.gvc.com
Organization: Not officially GeoVision Systems Inc., Ottawa, Ontario
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 02:01:58 GMT

karol+@pitt.edu (Filip M. Gieszczykiewicz (fmgst+@pitt.edu)) writes:
[8 lines of quoted text]
>	DON'T REPLY TO THIS ACCOUNT. REPLY TO "fmgst+@pitt.edu".
[6 lines of original text]
>	DON'T REPLY TO THIS ACCOUNT. REPLY TO "fmgst+@pitt.edu".
>-- 
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>DO NOT REPLY HERE. REPLY TO "fmgst+@pitt.edu". THANK YOU. If that doesn't work,
>send that e-mail to "fmg@alpha.smi.med.pitt.edu". Looking for donations of 
>parts for a home-built airplane: engines, Al tubing, canvas, bolts, prop, etc!

You get the impression that we shouldn't reply to this guy, or something.
Too bad he's never heard of the 'Reply-To: ' header.

I, for one, would pay good money to see this guy's first flight in a plane
made entirely of donated materials.

-- 
Paul Tomblin, pt@geovision.gvc.com (Not an official spokesman, blah, blah...)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Engineers aren't as smart as they like to be told they are." - told to me
 by Heather Killam the co-op.  (It sounded funnier after a lot of beer!)
From: scsd1055@altair.selu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: **National Emergency**
Date: 16 Oct 92 17:58:56 -0600
Organization: Southeastern Louisiana University

>From: "Harold S. Lessure" <hl0t+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes->
>Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 10:06:26 -0400 
>
>In President Bush's closing remarks he (astutely) asks:                
>[...]
>    Who has the perseverance,
>                the character,
>                the integrity,
>                the maturity to get the job done...!"
>
>The ANSWER is obvious...    Dan Quayle!       

	That's the best JOKE I've heard in a while.  Old DQ sure has become
a cancer on old George's rectum...
	Maybe Perot can take some of those 'precious pieces of clay' and
mold George a running mate.

bill p.
From: chorley@vms.ocom.okstate.edu
Subject: Re: <None>nun and noone
Organization: OSU College of Osteopathic Medicine
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 15:04:36 GMT

In article <4656@equinox.unr.edu>, arnold@pyramid.unr.edu (Bruce M Arnold) writes:
> In article <1992Oct5.200519.1807@ucbeh.san.uc.edu> sauerm@ucbeh.san.uc.edu writes:
>>I am so horny!!!!!
>>
>>
>>I am a single white female withlarge breasts please write me!!!!!!
> 
> I'm from Dayton, and don't worry, there are no good looking girls in
> Cincinatti anyways...
> 
> "'RUCE"

Sorry, I am mildly dyslexic and until my therapist pointed it out to me I
thought you said, " I am female with large single white right breast" which 
I thought was a waste.
From: ms0a@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (Michiyo Shinoda)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: 10,000 QUESTION PURITY TEST--PLEASE READ !!!!!
Date: 13 Oct 92 03:41:49 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

Might as well...

I want one too.  But anything over 500 questions would do.  Someone e-mail me
a purity test please!

may
-- 
                              ms0a@Lehigh.edu
                                             +
                                             +
                                  *****      +
                                **     **    +
                               **  ^_^  **  +
                                **     ** +
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
From: ara@wam.umd.edu (Ford Prefect)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 01:07:47 GMT

>> >>Patrick Jordan                      |          _
>> >>CSIRO Division of Radiophysics      |        // \   I am not a number,
>> >>NSW, Australia                      |       /( 6 )  I am a free man.
>> >>pjordan@rp.csiro.au                 |      () \_/
>> >>----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>> >                                               /|\
>> >Is this an old fashioned bicycle, or is it      |
>> >the freely swinging 'Mr. Limpy' with the        |
>> >numeral "6" tattood on his left plum?   >>>-----
>> >
>>  I thought it was either a Hand Grenade or a Perfume sprayer
>
>No, the first answer is right. It is a penny-farthing bicycle (I've oftern
>wondered what these are called in America, where I suspect they did not have
>farthings - or am I wrong about that).
>The bicycle and the quote are references to "The Prisoner" a bizarre English
>TV series from the 60's with Patrick McGoohan.
>
>Be seeing you!
>
>Patrick.
 
Well monitarily we dont have farthings in the US of A but a lot of it
goes on when the President speaks.  <----<<< Joke, ha ha ha

I have been watching the Prisoner on the Sci-Fi station on cable
You seem to have forgotten to add the canopy on top of the Bike.

-ara
From: la@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Lewis Alderton)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE !!
Date: 13 Oct 92 10:50:10 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Edinburgh

In article <190390001@hpubvwa.nsr.hp.com>, guyh@hpubvwa.nsr.hp.com (Guy Hyde) writes:
> |	In rec.humor, hoefer4739@iscsvax.uni.edu writes:
> |
> |
> |            Just a response to the request for dyslexic jokes.
> |
> 
> 
> Hi, I'm lsydexic.

Does that mean you can't spill ??

-- 
+------------------------------------------------------------+
|                           |                                |
| Lovely Louie              | No matter how evil a man is :  |
|                           |                                |
| la@dcs.ed.ac.uk           | He was innocent at birth.      |
|                           +--------------------------------+
|                           | Koretoshi Maruyama.            |
+------------------------------------------------------------+
From: arnold@pyramid.unr.edu (Bruce M Arnold)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: <None>
Date: 16 Oct 92 02:55:53 GMT
Reply-To: arnold@pyramid.unr.edu (Bruce M Arnold)
Organization: University of Nevada, Reno  Department of Computer Science

In article <1992Oct5.200519.1807@ucbeh.san.uc.edu> sauerm@ucbeh.san.uc.edu writes:
>I am so horny!!!!!
>
>
>I am a single white female withlarge breasts please write me!!!!!!

I'm from Dayton, and don't worry, there are no good looking girls in
Cincinatti anyways...

"'RUCE"


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hart@dicktracey (James A. Hart)
Subject: Re: .sig file
Organization: TRW Inc., Redondo Beach, CA
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 23:48:28 GMT

tma4@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (TERRY MICHAEL AUSPITZ) writes:
: The net is cutting of my last 2 lines. Anyone have any suggestions?
:     -TMA
: -- 
Try a .sig that doesn't waste so much bandwidth! 8-).
--
Name:        Jim Hart    N6JSS
InterNet:    hart@donald.etdesg.TRW.COM 
                         I'd rather be LANDSAILING!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: al@escom.com (Al Donaldson)
Subject: three more weeks
Organization: ESCOM Corporation
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 20:48:44 GMT

News report today that the AIDS activist group Act Up held a protest
at the White House today.  According to the report, they attempted
to encircle the White House with a red ribbon and they marched and
shouted "Three More Weeks...Three More Weeks."

The reporters didn't notice this, but after a while, George 
had enough of this and rolled down his window and yelled back 
"Make a Will...Make a Will."
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes,alt.folklore.computers,aus.computers
From: roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle)
Subject: Re: Thoughts
Organization: Johns Hopkins University
Date:  9 Oct 92 20:41:35 GMT

pjordan@rp.CSIRO.AU (Patrick Jordan) writes:

>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Patrick Jordan                      |          _
>CSIRO Division of Radiophysics      |        // \   I am not a number,
>NSW, Australia                      |       /( 6 )  I am a free man.
>pjordan@rp.csiro.au                 |      () \_/
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                               /|\
Is this an old fashioned bicycle, or is it      |
the freely swinging 'Mr. Limpy' with the        |
numeral "6" tattood on his left plum?   >>>-----
From: john.fix%hardgood@philabs.philips.com (John Fix) 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: GREETS
Date: 7 Oct 92 11:43:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Hardgoods East BBS - Eastchester, NY (914) 961-8749
Reply-To: john.fix%hardgood@philabs.philips.com (John Fix) 

TO: mrp2@lehigh.edu



Hey there Matt!

What's the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk
in the road?


There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

{ba-dump}
                                                                         
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rkrishna@quest.ece.uc.edu (r krishnan)
Subject: Mum-in-laws (was Re: Brigham Young (was Woody Allen))
Organization: Unversity of Cincinnati
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 10:29:38 GMT

>Managing all those wives is one thing, but what I would like to know is how
>he managed all those mother-in-laws.
>-- 
>Glenn Wallace					comp_oper@darwin.ntu.edu.au


Of mother-in-laws : here's a good one i heard a long time back -

Cannibal #1 : I just don't like my mother-in-law @#$*!

Cannibal #2 : Ha! Next time try with some salt and pepper!

Any more cannibals / m-i-l jokes ?


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: chrism@haida.mentorg.com (Chris McCabe)
Subject: Re: Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Originator: chrism@haida
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 18:24:21 GMT
Organization: Mentor Graphics 
Keywords: 
Followup-To: 


  In Oregon, just outside of Portland is a sign that reads :

        BORING
      OREGON CITY
      NEXT RIGHT

  There is a town called "Boring" near the town of "Oregon City" (the
end of the Oregon Trail).


  -Chris
-- 
Chris McCabe        chris_mccabe@mentorg.com | Opinions expressed here may not
Mentor Graphics Corporation   (503) 685-7000 | be those of Mentor Graphics and
Member of Technical Staff - Core Engineering | probably not those of the Pope. 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rahul@ece.scarolina.edu (Rahul Sharangpani)
Subject: Re: Bathroom graffiti
Organization: USC  Department of Computer Science
Date:  9 Oct 92 20:14:22 GMT


speaking of bathroom graffiti, here's another gem i
came across the other day.
"why fart and waste it,
when you can burp and taste it?"
From: bacchus@mcl.ucsb.edu (bacchus@mcl.ucsb.edu)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Joke from English Prof.
Date: 16 Oct 92 07:26:39 GMT
Article-I.D.: mcl.bacchus.719220399

Heard this in a 600 person lecture from the professor:
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Fuck
Fuck who?
Fuck whom.
From: sjb@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Stuart Bobb)
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 19:27:06 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: American joke (oxymoron) - offensive to americans (rot 13)
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Fort Collins, CO, USA
Newsgroups: rec.humor


Kevin D. Quitt writes:

> Those aren't the funny ones.  Try:
> 
> 16.5 feet = 1 rod
> 5.5 yards = 1 rod
> 320 rods  = 1 mile
> 1 acre = 40320 sq ft.
> 1 acre = 4480 sq yards.

I'm fairly sure the above figures for an acre are wrong.

  1 acre = 4840 sq yds
  1 acre = 43560 sq ft

Or so says my dictionary.

The "acre" is a teensy bit less bizarre than you might think.

1 acre is technically (as I remember from my childhood on the farm) 1 rod
wide by 1/2 mile long.  (16.5ft * 2640ft = 43560 sq ft).  Now, why is a rod
16.5 ft long?  Sure "beats" me.  *ouch*

Of course, for most non-farming purposes, something 16.5 feet wide and 1/2
mile long is not a very practical way to visualize a chunk of land.  :-)

Stuart Bobb
sjb@fc.hp.com

Gee, I wish I could add a good joke here --  How about a bad one instead?

Q: What do you call a _really_ tall guy with no arms and legs who can be
   used to measure farm land?



A: Rod
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: s7356911@deimos.ucc.umass.edu (DYLYN)
Subject: Re: Anyone Else?
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 05:41:00 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.213356.1536@cnsvax.uwec.edu>, oconnenr@cnsvax.uwec.edu writes...
>How many other people have encountered someone on their way to an
>anarchist convention.  That one REALLY confused me.  Still does.
> 
>-Neal
	Actually, the last big anarchist get-together was referred to as
the ``Anarchist Un-Convention.''  (Ya see, it's not that we don't believe
in organization, as long as it's voluntary;  it's coercion that we oppose.)

					dp

_/\  /\ dp == dylyn (aka, d prosser) == S7356911@UCSVAX.UCS.umass.edu  /\
   \/  \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  \/~~~
	``Shit happ++ATOH
NO CARRIER
From: polecat!steve@cacti.mcws.fidonet.org
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Fanning the Flames of Hate
Date: 14 Oct 92 10:30:33 GMT
Organization: The Wacko Family, Tujunga CA

anonymous writes:

> In article <1aig23INN6n2@roche.csl.sri.com> boucher@csl.sri.com (Peter K.  
> Boucher) writes:
> > In article <1992Oct1.183434.11252@welchgate.welch.jhu.edu>,  
> davidk@welch.jhu.edu (David Kitaguchi) writes:
> > |> In article 1996@newstand.syr.edu, hlow@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Handel Low)  
> writes:
> > |> >
> >>>Cascades are stupid (don't you dare).
> >> I am not wearing any underware...
> > Dan-Quayle-level spelling, but do you care?
> I've seen this before, I don't know where.
If I see it, i'll try not to stare.


______________________________________________________________________________
    Steve                              polecat!steve@cacti.mcws.fidonet.org
          Free your mind- and the rest will follow...- en Vogue 
              Yes, I've had the odd complaint- 
                          But on the whole I've been a saint - Ursula
_______________________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: Wanted:  Deep Thoughts List
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 19:45:27 GMT

In article <70303@hydra.gatech.EDU> gt5576b@prism.gatech.EDU (Joe Bleazard) writes:
>
>	I deleted my file of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.  Could someone
>please e-mail me a copy of the large file?   gt5576b@prism.gatech.edu
>
>	Thanks
>
>	Joe.
>  
ME TOO!

Here we go again...

Ratboy
From: baptiste@bnr.ca (Michael Baptiste P275)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: practical jokes for students
Date: 14 Oct 92 14:10:00 GMT
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, BNR-RTP

In article <1992Oct14.102741.18898@csd.uwe.ac.uk>, wj_wigna@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Ebeneezer Goode) writes:
|> 
|> I need some practical jokes to be played on a load of students, anything
|> will do as long as I get loads of suggestions I'll be OK. Needed by next
|> week if poss.
|> 
|> Bill

This one works on heavy sleepers.. Take newspaper or saran wrap which
is queiter and cover their door with it attached to the door frame
Leave above a one foot opening at the top.  Now use lots of those
styrofoam peanuts used in shipping and fill the space between the door
and the paper/plastic.  It's quite a sight when they open the door 
half awake.

Mike
From: ms0a@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (Michiyo Shinoda)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: WANTED: Hacker Test
Date: 14 Oct 92 22:53:25 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

what's a hacker test?
-- 
                              ms0a@Lehigh.edu
                                             +
                                             +
                                  *****      +
                                **     **    +
                               **  ^_^  **  +
                                **     ** +
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca (Denis Beauregard)
Subject: Re: Questions of the Universe
Organization: Institut de recherche d'Hydro-Quebec, Varennes, Canada
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 18:35:55 GMT

In article <80234@ut-emx.uucp> yaron@anchor.as.utexas.edu (Mr. Sheffer) writes:
>In article <1992Sep17.063754.9499@newshost.unh.edu> ss1@kepler.unh.edu (The Rink) writes:
>>The big-bang theory was created.
>
>Nope, the Big Bang is based upon OBSERVATIONS of the expanding Universe.
>On the other hand, the God concept was created by Man, ie no observations
>support it.

Great, but what will say the theists?
1) The Man was created by God
2) The Man concept was created by God
3) The Man was created by God concept
4) God and man were created in Godmanchester (a place in Southern Quebec
probably named from a place in England).
5) Billy Goodman is a creator
6) All the above, but replacing Man by Human.

-- 
  \_\    Denis Beauregard  *  internet:beaurega@ireq.hydro.qc.ca
 /   \   Genealogiste des familles : Beauregard/Jarret/Jarest/Vincent
J   __>  Un Quebec renouvele dans une Amerique renovee
\_.-===  Non a une entente au contenu indetermine'   Mon opinion ? Non !
Newsgroups: rec.humor