From: gowda@essex.ecn.uoknor.edu (M.V.Rajeev Gowda)
Subject: Ajeet to the nation's rescue!
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 17:51:45 GMT
Organization: Engineering Computer Network, University of Oklahoma, Norman, OK, USA


The recent misc.news.southasia headline: "Election
Commission Recognizes Ajit Faction" must have mystified
one and all.  Here is the real story behind that
astounding headline:

{For those who came in late or are new to the Ajeet genre,
 or who can't follow the Hindi dialogue, I can post a 
 translation, assuming this post doesn't generate the kind
 of flames that greeted my last (misguided?) attempt at humor.
 No more sarcasm from me!}

The Scene:  Ajeet's den.  Our beloved underworld don,
Ajeet is in his state-of-the-art jacuzzi/hot tub with
his beloved Mona.

Mona:		Daarling, Hindu Raashtra hote to hamaare
		Maikal, Tony, Raabert sab ko kya hoga.

Ajeet:		Sirf naam badalna padega, Mona daarling.

Mona:		Aur naam badalte to?

Ajeet:		Maikal ka naam Mahakali banega, Anthony ka
		naam Ananthony, aur Raabert ka Baabu

Mona:		Par aise hotey to dialogue mein kuch ruchi
		nahin rahega

Ajeet:		Usme kya daarling, agar desh Hindu raashtra
		bante to usme ruchi kidhar dhoondoge?

Mona:		Aur BJP/VHP log kahte hain ki hamaare Muslim
		bhai sab deshdrohi hain.

Ajeet:		Bhilkul bakwaas. Doosre log bhi kah sakte hain
		ki BJP/VHP log sabse bade deshdrohi hain

Mona:		Par woh kaise ho sakta

Ajeet:		Kyonki BJP/VHP ke thoda funds us log se aata
		hain jo Bharatiya citizenship chhodkar
		Amreeki citizenship liye hain.

Mona:		Par woh family aur professional reasons ke
		liye citizenship doosra kiye hain. Woh abhi
		to Hindu hain.

Ajeet:		To kya daarling, Raja Jaichand bhi family aur
		professional reasons ke liye Mohaammad
		Ghori ko madad diya na!

Mona:		To ek doosre ka patriotism question karne
		mein kuch phaayda nahin, daarling?

Ajeet:		Theek kahi.  Is desh ki dharti pe jo paida
		hue woh saare Bharatiya hain.  Jo uska kaam
		se desh ki pragati badta hain aur garibon ke
		muh mein roti daalta hain, woh hain asli
		Bharatiya 

Mona:		Tum Hindi phillum hero jaise baat kar rahe ho
		daarling

Ajeet:		Jab desh aise paristhithi mein aata hain to
		humko bhi hero banna padta hain.  Mera bhi
		conscience hai na

Mona:		Haan.  Lekin BJP/VHP log aise kyon karte hain?

Ajeet:		Kyonki uske chaddi khaaki aur dil khaali

Mona:		Aur agar Hindu rashtra aate to scheduled
		caste logon ko kya hoga?

Ajeet:		Hindu rashtra mein unke progress aur two
		thousand years behind schedule ho jayega

The cellular/speaker telephone rings:

Ajeet:		Mona daarling, tum nahaate raho, jusht
		another bujiness call

Raabert:	Baas, maal nahin aaya

Ajeet:		Kya, Versova Beach jaake torch se aan-aaf
		signal nahin diya kya?

Raabert:	Beach jaa nahin saka, baas.  Mumbai mein
		bandh hai, curfew hai

Ajeet:		Yeh galaata kaun kar sakta?  Tony aur 
		Michael ko aane ko bol

Raabert:	Baas, mere khyaal mein in sab mein Bal
		Thakre ka haath hain

(Michael enters and Ajeet puts the phone down)

Ajeet:		Michael, tum Bal Thakre ko lekar cricket 
		team mein daal do aur usko bowling de do
		
Michael:	Aur kya baas

Ajeet:		Aur usko batao ki Pakistan ke bowler apne	
		taang ko crease line ke baahar rakhte hain

Michael:	Lekin kyon baas

Ajeet:		Pakistani log aise karte to Thakre bhi aisa
		karega

Michael:	To kya hoga baas?

Ajeet:		Woh Bal Thakre se No Bal Thakre ho jayega!

(Raabert has just arrived)

Ajeet:		Haan Raabert, Prime Minister ko fiddle bhej
		diya kya?

Raabert:	Kis liye baas?

Ajeet:		Kyonki PM ab Nerosimha Rao ban gaya hai.

Raabert:	Bhilkul baas, jab desh jal raha hai woh
		sirf fiddle hee kar raha hai

Ajeet:		Aur second fiddle Chavan ko bhej do

(Tony rushes in breathlessly from the computer room)

Tony:		Baas, abhi abhi misc.news.southasia mein
		headline dekha ki "Election Commission
		Recognizes Ajit Faction"

Ajeet		Par woh Ajit Singh ka faction hain na?

Mona:		Daarling, tum jaanta nahin ki tum bhi Ajit
		Singh hon

Ajeet:		Woh kaisa ho sakta daarling?

Mona:		Singh ka matlab hai simha aur ...

Ajeet:		Saara shahar mujhe lion ke naam se jaanta hai!

Tony:		To party platform main likh sakta hoon, baas?

Ajeet:		Nahin, woh kaam sirf hamaare Madrasi dost,
		Mani se hee ho sakta

Tony:		Lekin kyo baas.  Main achcha likh sakta hoon

Ajeet:		Chhup.  Agar tum likhte to woh party
		tonyfesto ho jayega!  Sangarsh ke liye
		prepare kar lo.

Mona:		Achcha kiya daarling. Agar secular log desh
		bachaane ke liye aage nahin badte to tum hee
		desh ki aasha ho!

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Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian,alt.hindu