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Date:         Mon, 14 Dec 1992 11:04:00 -06
From:         Dana Rollins <ROLLIDE@AUDUCADM.DUC.AUBURN.EDU>
Subject:      DUMB BLONDE JOKES

>
>                The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes
>                --------------------------------
>                           Revision 7.0
>
> 1.   Q:   What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
>      A:   Gifted!
>
> 2.   Q:   How do blonde braincells die ?
>      A:   Alone.
>
> 3.   Q:   How do you brainwash a blonde?
>      A:   Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
>
> 4.   Q:   What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
>      A:   Artificial intelligence.
>
> 5.   Q:   How does a blonde part their hair?
>      A:   (Action of scissoring legs apart)
>
> 6.   Q:   Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
>      A:   Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
>
> 7.   Q:   What was the blond psychic's greatest achievment?
>      A:   An IN-body experience!
>
> 8.   Q:   When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
>      A:   After a dye job.
>
> 9.   Q:   Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
>      A:   It swells at night.
>
> 10.  Q:   Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
>      A1:  She'd just dyed her hair.
>      A2:  She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it
>           blown around too much.
>
> 11.  Q:   Why do blondes wear their hair up?
>      A:   To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
>
> 12.  Q:   Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
>      A:   You can park in the handicap zone.
>
> 13.  Q:   Why is a blonde like a turtle?
>      A:   When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
>
> 14.  Q:   A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
>           She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
>      A:   The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
>
> 15.  Q:   What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
>      A:   Humpme Dumpme.
>
> 16.  Q:   Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
>      A:   She liked kids...
>
> 17.  Q:   How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
>      A:   Shine a flashlight in their ear.
>
> 18.  Q:   Why do blondes like lightning?
>      A:   They think someone is taking their picture.
>
> 19.  Q:   Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
>      A:   It takes too long to retrain them.
>
> 20.  Q:   Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
>      A:   They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
>
> 21.  Q1:  How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
>      A:   There's white-out on the screen.
>      Q2:  How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
>      A:   There's writing on the white-out.
>
> 22.  Q:   How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
>      A:   She has a checkbook.
>
> 23.  Q:   How can you tell when a FAX had been sent to a blonde?
>      A:   There is a stamp on it.
>
> 24.  Q:   How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
>      A:   By the buckle print on her forehead.
>
> 25.  Q:   How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
>      A:   He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the
>           impression in her forehead!
>
> 26.  Q:   How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
>      A:   She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering
>           what she did with her pencil.
>
> 27.  Q:   What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress
>           (reading her nametag) ?
>      A:   "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
>
> 28.  Q:   How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
>      A:   By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
>
> 29.  Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
>      A:   You only have to punch information into a computer once.
>
> 30.  Q:   What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
>      A:   You don't know how much either of them mean to you until
>           they go down on you.
>
> 31.  Q:   What did the blonde think of the new computer?
>      A:   She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....
>
> 32.  Q:   Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
>      A:   (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
>
> 33.  Q:   Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a
>           flat forehead?
>      A:   Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
>
> 34.  Q:   How do you kill a blonde?
>      A:   Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
>
> 35.  Q:   How do blondes pierce their ears?
>      A:   They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
>
> 36.  Q:   Why don't blondes make Jello?
>      A:   They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into
>           those little boxes.
>
> 37.  Q:   What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of
>           their head?
>      A:   All you can eat, under a buck.
>
> 38.  Q:   Why don't blondes eat pickles?
>      A:   Because they can't get their head in the jar.
>
> 39.  Q:   Why don't blondes eat bananas?
>      A:   They can't find the zipper.
>
> 40.  Q:   A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should
>           cut it in six or twelve pieces.
>      A:   "Six, please.  I could never eat twelve pieces."
>
> 41.  Q:   Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
>      A:   They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
>
> 42.  Q:   What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more
>           attractive?
>      A:   Her ankles.
>
> 43.  Q:   What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with
>           PMS?
>      A:   Lipstick.
>
> 44.  Q:   Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
>      A:   Because red means stop.
>
> 45.  Q:   Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
>      A:   Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
>
> 46.  Q:   Why don't blondes use vibrators?
>      A:   They chip their teeth.
>
> 47.  Q:   Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
>      A:   From eating with forks.
>
> 48.  Q:   Why do blondes wear panties?
>      A:   They make good ankle warmers.
>
> 49.  Q:   Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini
>           skirts?
>      A:   Cause their balls show!
>
> 50.  Q:   What do blondes do for foreplay?
>      A:   Remove their underwear.
>
> 51.  Q:   What's the mating call of the blonde?
>      A:   "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
>
> 52.  Q:   What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
>      A:   (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
>
> 53.  Q:   What's the mating call of the brunette?
>      A:   "All the blondes have gone home!"
>
> 54.  Q:   What's a brunette's mating call ?
>      A:   Has that blonde gone yet?
>
> 55.  Q:   What's the mating call of the redhead?
>      A:   "Next!"
>
> 56.  Q:   Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax
>           now in effect in Canada)
>      A:   Because they can spell it.
>
> 57.  Q:   What is 74 to a blonde?
>      A:   69 plus G.S.T.
>
> 58.  Q:   Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
>      A:   Toes go in first.
>
> 59.  Q:   Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
>      A:   Tits go in front.
>
> 60.  Q:   What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
>      A:   "Have another beer."
>
> 61.  Q:   What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ?
>      A:   Pack their lunch and send them to work.
>
> 62.  Q:   What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
>      A1:  Introduces themself.
>      A2:  Walks home.
>
> 63.  Q:   Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
>      A:   From crawling across the street when the sign said
>           "DON'T WALK".
>
> 64.  Q:   How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
>      A:   Fertilised.
>
> 65.  Q:   How does a blonde like her eggs?
>      A:   Unfertilised.
>
> 66.  Q:   What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
>      A:   Opens the car door.
>
> 67.  Q:   What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
>      A:   Locking the car door.
>
> 68.  Q:   How do blondes turn the light on after sex ?
>      A:   Kick open the car door.
>
> 69.  Q:   Did you hear about the blonde who was disappointed when
>           she got her driver's license?
>      A:   The instructor gave her an "F" in sex.
>
> 70.  Q:   Why do blondes like tilt steering?
>      A:   More head room.
>
> 71.  Q:   Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
>      A:   More leg room.
>
> 72.  Q:   What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
>      A:   A blonde going through a flashing red light.
>
> 73.  Q:   Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
>      A:   In case she locks the keys in her car.
>
> 74.  Q:   What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
>      A:   It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
>
> 75.  Q:   Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
>      A:   To turn the blinker off.
>
> 76.  Q:   What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
>      A:   An Air Bag.
>
> 77.  Q:   Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after
>           a blonde drives a car?
>      A:   Cause she blows the horn!!!!!
>
> 78.  Q:   Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
>      A:   She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
>
> 79.  Q:   What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
>      A:   Bucket seats.
>
> 80.  Q:   What do Blondes say after sex?
>      A1:  Thanks Guys.
>      A2:  Are you boys all in the same band/team?
>      A3:  Do you guys all play for the Swans?
>
> 81.  Q:   What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
>      A:   Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks,
>           four bucks.
>
> 82.  Q:   Why is a blonde like a door knob?
>      A:   'Cause everybody gets a turn.
>
> 83.  Q:   Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
>      A:   'Cause she's been laid all over the country.
>
> 84.  Q:   What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate
>           before having sex?
>      A:   Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
>
> 85.  Q:   Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
>      A:   *Who cares?*
>
> 86.  Q:   Why do blonds have orgasms ?
>      A:   So they know when to stop having sex !
>
> 87.  Q:   How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm????
>      A1:  She drops her nail-file!!!
>      A2:  Who cares?
>      A3:  She say 'Next'
>      A4:  The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder
>      A5:  He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes
>      A6:  The batteries have run out.
>
> 88.  Q:   Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
>      A1:  They can't remember the number.
>      A2:  She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
>
> 89.  Q:   What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
>      A:   "Thanks for the refill!"
>
> 90.  Q:   What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's
>           ear?
>      A:   Data transfer.
>
> 91.  Q:   Why do blondes have more fun?
>      A:   Because they don't know any better.
>     *A:   They are easier to keep amused.
>
> 92.  Q:   How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
>      A1:  "What's a lightbulb?"
>      A2:  One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
>      A3:  Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
>
> 93.  Q:   What's a blonde's favourite wine?
>      A:   "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
>
> 94.  Q:   What do you call a basement full of blondes?
>      A:   A whine cellar.
>
> 95.  Q:   What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents
>           occur around the home?
>      A:   She moved.
>
> 96.  Q:   What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
>      A1:  They both have a black box.
>      A2:  Both have a cockpit.
>
> 97.  Q:   What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
>      A:   Not everyone has been in a 747
>
> 98.  Q:   What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth?
>      A:   Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
>
> 99.  Q:   What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>      A:   "Are you sure it's mine?"
>
> 100. Q:   How do you get a blonde pregnant?
>      A:   Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
>
> 101. Q:   How do you get a blonde to marry you?
>      A:   Tell her she's pregnant.
>
> 102. Q:   How do blondes get pregnant?
>      A:   And you thought blondes were dumb.
>
> 103. Q:   What will she ask you?
>      A:   "Is it mine?"
>
> 104. Q:   Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart
>           blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10
>           bill.  Who picks it up?
>      A:   The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa
>           Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
>
> 105. Q:   Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
>      A:   To see what was on the other side.
>
> 106. Q:   What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
>      A:   Pull the pin and throw it back.
>
> 107. Q:   Why do Blondes take the pill?
>      A:   So they know what day of the week it is.
>
> 108. Q:   Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
>      A:   Because it kept falling out.
>
> 109. Q:   But why do brunettes take the pill ?
>      A:   Wishful Thinking.
>
> 110. Q:   Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
>      A:   Because her boyfriend was also blond!
>
> 111. Q:   If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who
>           hits the ground first?
>      A:   The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
>
> 112. Q:   What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
>      A:   Her IQ goes up!
>
> 113. Q:   What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
>      A:   A blonde parade.
>
> 114. Q:   Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
>      A:   You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
>
> 115. Q:   What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
>      A:   Butter is difficult to spread.
>
> 116. Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
>      A:   You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
>      A2:  There is no difference. They're both round and have
>           three holes to poke.
>
> 117. Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
>      A:   They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
>
> 118. Q:   What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
>      A:   Bigfoot has been spotted.
>
> 119. Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
>      A:   It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
>
> 120. Q:   What's the difference between a blonde girl and a blond guy?
>      A:   The blonde has the higher sperm count.
>
> 121. Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
>      A:   Not everybody has been in a limo.
>
> 122. Q:   What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe
>           of sly pygmies?
>      A:   One's a bunch a cunning runts ...
>
> 123  Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
>      A:   You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
>
> 124. Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
>      A:   Your job still sucks after 6 months.
>
> 125. Q:   What's the difference between a blond having her period and
>           a terrorist?
>      A:   You can negotiate with a terrorist.
>
> 126. Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
>      A:   The shopping trolley has a mind of its own!
>
> 127. Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez Canal?
>      A:   One's a busy ditch.
>
> 128. Q:   What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
>      A:   A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
>
> 129. Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
>      A:   In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while
>           a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
>
> 130. Q:   Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
>      A:   Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it
>           won't follow you around for a week.
>
> 131. Q:   What do blondes and cow-pats have in common ?
>      A:   They both get easier to pick-up with age.
>
> 132. Q:   How did the blonde die drinking milk?
>      A:   The cow fell on her.
>
> 133. Q:   What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
>      A:   The more you bang it the looser it gets.
>
> 134. Q:   What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
>      A:   They're both empty from the neck up.
>
> 135. Q:   What do blonds and spagetthii have in common?
>      A:   They both wriggle when you eat them.
>
> 136. Q:   What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
>      A:   They both have black roots.
>
> 137. Q:   What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a
>           recent car crash) and a blonde have in common ?
>      A:   Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.
>
> 138. Q:   Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper?
>      A:   So she could lip read.
>
> 139. Q:   How do you drown a blond?
>      A:   Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
>
> 140. Q:   How do you drown a blonde?
>      A:   Don't tell her to swallow.
>
> 141. Q:   Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool ?
>      A:   Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
>
> 142. Q:   Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
>      A:   Too many blondes were drowning.
>
> 143. Q:   Why do blonds have square boobs?
>      A:   Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
>
> 144. Q:   How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
>      A1:  10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
>      A2:  Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
>
> 145. Q:   Why don't blondes double recipes?
>      A:   The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
>
> 146. Q:   What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
>      A:   Proofreading.
>
> 147. Q:   Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
>      A:   For throwing out the W's.
>
> 148. Q:   How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
>      A:   She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
>
> 149. Q:   How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
>      A:   The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
>
> 150. Q:   Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?
>      A:   They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.
>
> 151. Q:   What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.
>      A:   If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
>
> 152. Q:   What's the Blonde's cheer?
>      A:   " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..
>           I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
>
> 153. Q:   Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
>      A:   Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
>
> 154. Q:   Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
>      A:   She kept having affairs with men!
>
> 155. Q:   What does a blonde owl say?
>      A:   What, what?
>
> 156. Q:   How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
>      A:   She threw it off a cliff.
>
> 157. Q:   How does a blonde kill a fish?
>      A:   She drowns it.
>
> 158. Q:   Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her
>           jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
>      A:   Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
>
> 159. Q:   What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
>      A:   "Nice tits!"
>
> 160. Q:   How does a blonde high-5?
>      A:   She smacks herself in the forehead.
>
> 161. Q:   How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
>      A:   Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
>
> 162. Q:   Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
>      A:   Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
>
> 163. Q:   Why do blondes have legs?
>      A1:  So they don't get stuck to the ground.
>      A2:  To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
>      A3:  So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
>
> 164. Q:   Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn
>           around and come home?
>      A:   It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking
>           was a television.
>
> 165. Q:   What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
>      A:   The Blonde!
>
> 166. Q:   How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
>      A:   Flattered.
>
> 167. Q:   Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
>      A:   They always forget the 11 in 9-1-1.
>
> 168. Q:   Did you hear about the blondes who froze to death at the
>           Drive Inn Theater?
>      A:   They went to see "Closed for the Season"
>
> 169. Q:   What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked
>           up by 'the fuzz'?
>      A:   'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'
>
> 170. Q:   What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
>      A:   An interpreter.
>
> 171. Q:   What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
>      A:   A mental block.
>
> 172. Q:   What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
>      A:   A wind tunnel.
>
> 173. Q:   What do you call 25 blondes on top of each other?
>      A:   An air mattress.
>
> 174. Q:   What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
>      A:   A dope ring.
>
> 175. Q:   What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ?
>      A:   Sweet Fuck All...
>
> 176. Q:   What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
>      A:   Frosted Flakes.
>
> 177. Q:   What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
>      A:   Air bubbles.
>
> 178. Q:   What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
>      A:   Frosted Flakes.
>
> 179. Q:   What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
>      A:   Last year's hide-and-seek champ.
>
> 180. Q:   What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
>      A:   A Space Invader.
>
> 181. Q:   What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
>      A:   Branch Manager.
>
> 182. Q:   How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
>      A:   She fell out of the tree.
>
> 183. Q:   How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
>      A:   Wave at her.
>
> 184. Q:   What do you call a smart blond?
>      A:   A golden retriever.
>
> 185. Q:   How do you check a blonde's IQ?
>      A:   With a tire gauge.
>
> 186. Q:   How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
>      A:   A 69 interrupted by a period.
>
> 187. Q:   What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of
>           Cheerios?
>      A:   "Oh look!  Doughnut seeds!"
>
> 188. Q:   Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
>      A:   They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
>
> 189. Q:   Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow ?
>      A1:  So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
>      A2:  So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
>
> 190. Q:   Why aren't BLONDES good cattle herders?
>      A:   Because the can't even keep two calves together!
>
> 191. Q:   Why don't blonds breast feed?
>      A:   Because they always burn their nipples.
>
> 192. Q:   How did the blonde burn her nose?
>      A:   Bobbing for french fries.
>
> 193. Q:   Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
>      A:   To cover up the valve stem.
>
> 194. Q:   What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
>      A:   Spot.
>
> 195. Q:   What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
>      A:   Air Supply.
>
> 196. Q:   What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
>      A:   The back of her head.
>
> 197. Q:   Why do blondes drive VW's
>      A:   Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!
>
> 198. Q:   How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
>      A:   Tell them a joke on Friday night !
>
> 199. Q:   Why did God create blondes?
>      A:   Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
>
> 200. Q:   Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
>      A1:  So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
>      A2:  So that when they're on the train they can tell
>           if they're going to work or coming home.
>
> 201. Q:   Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?
>      A:   A blond electrician
>
> 202. Q:   Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
>      A1:  So brunettes can remember them.
>      A2:  Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
>
> 203. Q:   Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde ????
>      A:   She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!
>
> 204. Q:   Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
>      A:   Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
>
> 205. Q:   What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
>      A:   A thought.
>
> 206. Q:   Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
>      A:   Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
>
> 207. Q:   Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage
>           aisle?
>      A:   She realized she gave her last blowjob.
>
> 208. Q:   Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her
>           husband's car?
>      A:   She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
>
> 209. Q:   Why did they call the blond twinkie?
>      A:   She liked to be filled with cream.
>
> 210. Q:   What did the blonde do when she got her period?
>      A:   Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
>
> 211. Q:   Why do blondes have periods?
>      A:   They deserve them
>
> 212. Q:   What did the blonde say to the physicist?
>      A:   "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission!  What do you use for
>            bait?"
>
> 213. Q:   Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
>      A:   Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
>
> 214. Q:   How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip
>           cookies?
>      A:   You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
>
> 215. Q:   How do you drive a blonde crazy?
>      A:   Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.
>
> 216. Q:   How does a blonde hold her liquor?
>      A:   By the ears.
>
> 217. Q:   What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her
>           thoughts?
>      A:   Change.
>
> 218. Q:   How does a blonde moonwalk?
>      A:   She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the
>           floor!
>
> 219. Q:   What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
>      A:   A brain tumor.
>
> 220. Q:   Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
>      A:   Because you don't have to marry them for sex!
>
> 221. Q:   What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
>      A:   Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced
>           to do...
>
> 222. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see
>      where the sun went ? It finally dawned on here.
>
> 223. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw
>      a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute,
>      she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
>
>      On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
>      "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she
>      had cleaned 43 restrooms.
>
> 224. How about the suicide blonde,
>      she dyed by her own hand.
>
> 225. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.  The brunette
>      says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops,
>      looks up, and says, "Where?"
>
> 226. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up
>      to observe a bird flying overhead.  Suddenly, the
>      bird drops a load when it was directly over her.
>      The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth
>      open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"
>
>      Or: "Good thing that cows don't fly."
>
> 227. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the
>      wrong way on a one-way street.
>      Cop:      Do you know where you were going?
>      Blonde:   No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the
>                people were leaving.
>
> 228. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
>           "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
>           "Driver's licence? What's that?..."
>           "It's a little card with your picture on it."
>           "Oh, duh! Here it is..."
>           "May I have your car insurance?"
>           "What's that?..."
>           "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
>           "Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
>           The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde
>           exclaims:
>           "Oh no, not another breathanalyzer test!"
>
> 229. Hubby:        As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then
>                    we could do without the ironing lady.
>      Blonde Wife:  Well if you would learn to Fuck me properly we could
>                    do without the gardener.
>
> 230. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
>         Brunette:  Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
>         Blonde:  That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
>         Brunette:  My god! I had no idea he was that good.
>         Blonde:  ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
>
> 231. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of
>      them decides to call 911:
>       Blonde:   We need help. We're three blondes changing
>                 a light bulb.
>       Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
>       Blonde:   Yes.
>       Operator: The power in the house in on?
>       Blonde:   Of course.
>       Operator: And the switch is on?
>       Blonde:   Yes, yes.
>       Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
>       Blonde:   No, it's working fine.
>       Operator: Then what's the problem?
>       Blonde:   We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and
>                 we all fell and hurt ourselves.
>
> 232. What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
>      Her husband is out looking for the other man.
>
> 233. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead,
>      and a blonde.  The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and
>      estimated about 20 miles to shore.  So she announced, "I'm going to
>      try to swim to shore."  So she swam out five miles, and got really
>      tired.  She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired
>      to go on, so she drowned.
>
>      The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made
> it.
>      I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and
>      starve." So she attempts to swim out.  The redhead had a lot more
>      endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even
>      got tired.  After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she
> drowned.
>
>      So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it!  I think
>      I'd better try to make it, too."  So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles,
>      15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island.  The shore was just in
> sight,
>      but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!"  So she swam back.
>
> 234. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when
>      the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull
>      you finger out, I'll sink?"
>
> 235. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down
>      and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."  The other blonde looks
>      and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."  "No.
>      Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one
>      half hour later they were both killed by a train.
>
> 236. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what
>      was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her.
>      Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about
>      the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and
>      suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook"
>
> 237. A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven.   When she got to the Pearly
>      Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into
>      Heaven, you have to pass a test."
>      "Oh No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.
>      "Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter
>      The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
>      "That's interesting...  What made you say that?" said Saint Peter
>      Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me!  Andy talks with me!
>      Andy tells me..."
>
> 238. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of
>      their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
>
>      Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
>
>      Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting
>      to rain and the top is down!
>
> 239. Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out
>      a book called "How to Hug"?  Got back to the dorm and found out it
>      was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...
>
> 240. A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":
>           "I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!"
>
> 241. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the
>       bartender:
>      Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
>      Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
>      Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
>      Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
>      Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
>      Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
>      Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
>      Bartender: "What's a 15?"
>      Blonde: "7 and 7"
>
> 242. A painting contractor was speaking with a woman aobut her job.  In
>      the first room she said she would like a pale blue.  The contractor
>      wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out
>      "GREEN SIDE UP!"  In the second room she told the painter she would
>      like it painted in a soft yellow.  He wrote this on his pad, walked
>      to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  The lady was
>      somewhat curious but she said nothing.  In the third room she said
>      she would like it painted a warm rose color.  The painter wrote this
>      down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
>      The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
>      "I'm sorry," came the reply.  "But I have a crew of blondes laying
>      sod across the street.
>
>
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