From: jefu@akbar.nmt.edu (Jeff Putnam)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Parental Units
Date: 21 Aug 92 14:47:27 GMT
Article-I.D.: nmt.1992Aug21.144727.12410
Organization: New Mexico Institute of Mining & Technology


Well, I just endured a couple of days with my parents and need to
comment on it.  

My folks were driving from Maine to Alabama to deliver a cat
to my sister, then they were to loop through Socorro and up
to Denver where my brother lives.  It was kind of a "We are
coming to visit, be ready."  (Parenthetically, the cat was
lost somewhere in Vermont - I wonder what it had heard about
Alabama.)   And the timing was soooooo convenient.  Its the
week before classes and I have lots to do (like this post
I guess).  

They had told me that they were going to arrive Wednesday and
stay till Friday morning.  This would give me a whole day to
cope which I figured was bearable.  Then a phone call from
Alabama - they were going to show up on Tuesday.  

Tuesday they arrive and now it turns out they are thinking of
staying till _Saturday_.  AAARRRGGGHHHH... We do the cheap
tour of Socorro and environs (the drive to the Very Large
Array radio telescope, the nice mountains out by Pie Town,
the local ghost town -- all the standard tourist attractions),
and somewhere along the line they determine to leave Thursday.
Phew.  

As you have probably guessed my parents and I dont really get
along.  Much of this is their determined reaction to my being
gay.  They know - have known for many years - but they 
continue to not want to talk about it, to not want to admit
it.  Talking about being gay to them usually involves me talking
and them resolutely trying to change the subject, or alternatively,
dead silence on their part.  Another factor is that I am a 
(gasp) liberal and my father is conservative.  (I'm not a
classical sort of democratic liberal, by the way.  I'd like 
to see much smaller government and less taxation - I think 
I'm more of what the fundies would call a secular humanist.)  

Their timing was even more bad than being the week before 
classes.  It was also Republican week.  So, when we saw stuff
on the news about (say) the Buchanan rant, I tried to express
my dislike and even fear of the religious right (religious
wrong is more like it).  Its like talking into a black hole -
the words leave me and disappear without any discernable 
effect on the environment.  And my father believes and repeats 
all the republican nonsense - like them being against taxation
and reducing the budget deficit and .... 

It was a tough couple days, but they did leave early.  And
now, despite the way I felt when they were here, I'm feeling like
I'm not being the son they want, and I'm a bit guilty that they
did leave early.  (Even though they did want to spend some time
in northern New Mexico.)  

And I read posts here about others with parent problems and 
want to do something.  But there doesnt seem to be much to do,
we all need to cope with our parents themselves.  Some of
us are fortunate and have parents that can understand and support
(even though sometimes it takes a while) and some of us are
less fortunate.

It will anger me a whole lot though if the republican 
fascisti are returned to office and I lose my rights or even
my life and I have to contemplate my parents having assisted them
in the process.

--
jefu <=> Jeff Putnam - New Mexico Tech <=> jefu@nmt.edu 
"Overturn the dominant paradigm"