From: hllhar01@uctvax.uct.ac.za
Newsgroups: soc.culture.african
Subject: Re: SADF Admits All - Project Mweene
Date: 18 Nov 92 14:20:43 GMT
Article-I.D.: uctvax.1992Nov18.122043.203292
Organization: University of Cape Town

Gavan Tredoux writes:
> 
> In a shocking development the Goldstone Commission here
> has uncovered a covert plan by shadowy figures in Military
> Intelligence (the infamous "Section Zero" sometimes known
> as "kunsmatig") to infiltrate Afro-American anti-apartheid
> lobbying. 
> 
> Secret files seized at an undisclosed location reveal that
> former CCB "dirty tricks" operative Ferdi "Swart Karwats" 
> Barnard was employed briefly by MI Section Zero to 
> suggest strategies for undermining, among others, 
> anti-apartheid activists abroad, particularly on US campuses,
> who have been widely cited as key players in the
> collapse of the apartheid system and the intellectual
> driving force behind the ANC's economic and social policy.
> 
> One of these projects involved the creation of "dummy" 
> user accounts at US international network sites, to tarnish
> the image of the much feared anti-South African lobby. This
> was sinisterly dubbed "Project Mweene" (apparently a reference
> to aspects of "Swart Karwats" Barnard's sexual persona),
> and involved the creation of advanced mailservers and other
> *classified* equipment. The files indicate remarkable progress
> comparable to the Nazi secret weapons project, with the system
> attaining a vocabulary of some 200 words, although later results
> revealed severe structural limitations, 
> with only meagre consciousness attained.
> 
> Nevertheless, interest from military intelligence divisions in Iraq
> and Chile has been rumoured.
> 
> The shadowy Barnard is widely credited with the success of the
> operation, employing novel techniques learnt while he was employed
> by the "Special Projects" division run by the admin at the
> notorious University of Cape Town (Barnard is a former
> SRC chairman and outgoing treasurer of the coffee club). 
> 
> UCT Administration
> officials denied any knowledge of Barnard's activities,
> and referred all enquiries to the Vice Chancellor, who could not
> be reached at the time of writing, reportedly due to golfing
> comittments.
> 
> In another shocking development, the Duchess of York (popularly
> known as "Fergie") has been romantically linked to P. (Project)
> Mweene. Buckingham Palce spokesman, Brigadier ffoulkes-Smith (retired)
> declined to comment. The brigadier is reportedly a survivor
> of the Isandwala massacre. The Duke of York, contacted on his
> yachting holiday in Carribean, has been quoted as saying
> "that's 197 more words than Fergie could ever master", leading
> to extensive speculation about the state of the royal marriage.
> 
> SAP/Reuter

And here, in the South African liberal press, the scandals continue to break
without any immediate prospect of a respite. The latest disclosures reveal the
involvement of a number of top cabinet ministers and high-up "groot kokkedoor"
army officers in the sinister Project Mweene. In the political collumn of the
Weakly Male, editor Scott Hurzelhaste led an unprecedented attack against the
government and defence force this morning, demanding the resignation of
President French Letter de Klerk and the reinstatement of Stewed Fruit
Saunders' 198 golf handicap.

It appears as though the government invested billions of rands in the Mweene
project, code-named "Operasie kak-praater". Many of Armscor's top management
and most outstanding pimply computer boffins, Hot Scazelscurst alleges, were 
involved in the infiltration of the US academic computer network. The Weakly
Male claims that the orders to tackle the US network with "Operasie
kak-praater" emanated from an orifice on the person of Maj. Gen. "Swart Kat -
You Kicked Sand In My Eyes" Liebenberg. Liebenberg however contends that the
orifice in question wasn't given sanction to issue cammands to the defence
force.

The plan, according to the Meekly Snail article, was to provide a bogus netnews
account to an Armscor designed artifially intelligent computer. After some
time, Military Intelligence (also artificial) had the Mark IV "KAK-PRAATER"
machine installed at a site somewhere in Pittsburgh (exact location subject to
top-priority secrecy regulations). Things went horribly wrong, however, when
the machine (calling itself Makala in an obscure reference to an ancient San
fertility ritual) began bombarding the Amsterdam art markets with fake
Rembrandts, which it had somehow managed to paint itself.

Prince Charles is 104.

Story continued on page 79.
Newsgroups: soc.culture.african