HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM (Brian Scearce)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: CDs, Pens and Blue Lasers.
Date: 31 Jul 1992 19:42:44 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems
Distribution: world
Reply-To: bls@sector7g.Eng.Sun.COM
NNTP-Posting-Host: sector7g

In article <11477@optilink.UUCP> manley@optilink.UUCP (Dave Manley) writes:
>+ The SONIC CLARITY(tm) CORP., LTD. is an equal opportunity /  +
>+ affirmative action employer. M/F/H/V/HVAC                    +

In article 9318@news.columbia.edu, lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) replies:
> Are you saying that your company gives affirmative action bias to High
> Voltage Alternating Current machines over humans?

HVAC is a well-known USENET acroynm for "hysteric voice/alternating
case".  Posts in this style are normally the product of an insane
mind.  Here's an example of HVAC/MES (multiple exclamation points):

Whoever CONTROLS the ACRONYMS, CONTROLS the NETWORK!!!  THAT'S what
they don't want you to FIND OUT!!!

Brian "NOT many people KNOW this!" Scearce
---
Brian Scearce                               bls@sector7g.eng.sun.com
        The above does not necessarily represent Sun policy.
          It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jfreter@triton.unm.edu (The Myth)
Subject: Re: Bear eats child's face
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 21:15:23 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <25061@dog.ee.lbl.gov> jtchew@csa3.lbl.gov writes:
>
Tumbleweed story deleted

>Dad, ever the spoilsport when this sort of thing happened, patiently
>explained that there would be plenty more where they were going.

That's the truth.  Come out here to the volcanoes on the West Mesa of town.
Climb up to the top (only a 30 meter climb) and get inside of them.  They
are absolutely packed with decaying tumbleweeds.  In fact, I think I
have found the Legendary tumbleweed graveyard. (BTW, the volcanoes are long
ago-extinct).

If it's not an U.L., how about our making it one?
From: manley@optilink.UUCP (Dave Manley)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: A Man, A Woman, A Bed, and Handcuffs (was Anyone heard this one?)
Date: 24 Jul 92 23:47:54 GMT
Organization: DSC/Optilink Access Products

In article <24814@dog.ee.lbl.gov> TWChan@lbl.gov (Terry Chan) writes:
>In article <1992Jul23.95201.7195@ms.uky.edu> fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis) 
>	writes:

>  +I'm sure I read a story last year (here? my mind is a sieve) about a
>  +couple who were engaged in some kind of sex play where the wife was
>  +tied to the bedstead and the husband had some dumb thing or another
>  +put him out of commission. A couple of days of screaming for help
>  +and a lifetime of cringing at the sight of rope followed for the woman.

>  +I could have read it here, but I believe it was in the local paper. 

>Well, there's a line in the FAQ list where there's a woman who's bound
>to a bed and her husband is found in the closet dressed in a superhero's
>costume with a broken leg.

The variant I heard had the husband in a batman suit, jumping up and
hitting his head on the ceiling fan.  Resulting in an unconscious
husband on the floor.  Wife screams.  Neighbors call 911.  A neighbor
heard this from a person she worked with.  Claimed it happened in
a nearby town.

--
Dave "Batman 2, The Sequel" Manley
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jfurr@vtssi.vt.EDU (Joel Furr)
Subject: re: jackalopes driving Cadillacs to Washington DC
Organization: The Ohio State University Department of Computer and Information Science
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 01:58:41 GMT

[Subject: Re: Revenge of the Choking Doberman
[From: jfreter@triton.unm.edu (The Myth)
[Date: 30 Jul 92 00:19:07 GMT
[Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque
[
[>In article <6074@otc.otca.oz> wayner@otc.otca.oz.au (Wayne Robinson) writes:
[>
[>>The type of dog seems to be a regional variation. Every account I have
heard
[>>comming from Australia involves a Rotweiler. These dogs have been involved
[>>in quite a few attacks on kids,in recent years and so is
[>>"more believable" to Australians than a German Shepherd. Does anyone know
[>>what the most popular dogs are in different areas for this story? Perhaps
[>>it really is dobermans (dobermen?) doing the amputation and they are 
[>>feindishly framing the rotweillers...
[>
[
[Well, when I first heard this, it was a Jackalope who'd said "that would
[be in the butt, Bob" while driving on the right after getting the Cookie
[recipe from Craig Shergold.
[

Nope.  Absolutely not possible.  Everybody knows Jackalopes can't drive cars. 
Their legs are too short to reach the pedals.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joel Furr                                                   jfurr@vtssi.vt.edu
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                     soc.culture.usa.appalachian -- vote!
From: dvand@ctp.com (Derek Vandivere)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Cat colouration (was Re: Egg Creams)
Date: 23 Jul 92 14:29:16 GMT
Organization: Cambridge Technology Partners

In article <BrJxrH.1FG@news.cso.uiuc.edu> jvmg9796@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Doc) writes:
>pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:
>
>>ObUL: All 'calico' cats are female
>
>This is correct.  It is because the gene for coloring is on the X chromosome.
>Since male cats have only one X chromosome, they can only have one color.
>(White does not count because it is in biological terms the absence of color.)

Then why does the Vermin (my male (well, he used to be male) cat) have
two colors, one of which has multiple shades?

					-dersk
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Derek A. Vandivere           |dvand@ctp.com|      This space unintentionally |
|Cambridge Technology Partners|(617)349-1278|            left blank.          |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 12:02:17 GMT

In article <cbdm3=l@lynx.unm.edu> jfreter@triton.unm.edu (The Myth) writes:
>In article <1992Jul20.215204.13458@unislc.uucp> dw@unislc.uucp (Dan Wright) writes:
>>: This place that charged for ice the first bucket also had a very cheap
>>: attitute about checkout time: 9:00 AM was checkout time *local* time zone.
>>: The problem is that this hotel is just over the border from Arizona, where
>>: most of the attraction is.  Thus, checkout time for the time zone our
>>: bodies were on was 8:00 AM!
>>
>>Now just a minute.  Hold yer horses.  Utah and Arizona are both Mountain
>>time, so 9:00am Utah equals 9:00am Arizona.  I agree 9:00am is unreasonably
>>early, but the hotel cannot help it if your bodies just flew in from
>>Central time.
>>
>
>Not quite true.  Utah has Daylight savings time.  Most of Arizona doesn't.
>So, it is quite possible that, at certain times of the year, these two 
>places that are in the same time zone will have different times. (How
>do you gramatically handle future-tense sentences dealing with time? Should
>I re-read _Restaurant at the End of the Universe_ to find out?)
>
To help add a few facts, this was Spring 1983.  Daylight Savings Time rules
for that time period for Utah and Arizona can be verified.  They are probably
quite different now, considering we start DST earlier in the year now.  Back
then most of the country was on DST, but Arizona and California were in the
same time zone, while Utah was an hour later.

cjl


Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: ceb@dbrus.Unify.Com (Caroline E. Bryan)
Subject: Re: Left - Right
Organization: /usr/lib/news/organization
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 92 20:50:44 GMT

In article <1992Jul21.153809.26507@public.sub.org> peterk@public.sub.org (Peter Kittel) writes:
>rgm@cory.Berkeley.EDU (Rob Menke) writes:
>>In article <n==mz-f@lynx.unm.edu> jfreter@triton.unm.edu (The Myth) writes:
>
>>   Actually, most of the doors I've seen rotate both ways.  It's just
>>   that we're accustomed to walking in on the right, so the doors
>>   rarely get rotated the other direction.
>
>>Doesn't the placement of the door handle also influence the direction
>>of rotation?  I've never seen a revolving door that had handles on
>>BOTH sides...

I've never seen a revolving door with handles on either side.

>Add to this that supermarkets are always built in a way that you walk
>counterclockwise through them. 

This is false in the US.  The supermarket I go to is most efficiently tra-
versed by starting on the lower left hand corner, going through Produce to-
ward the back of the store, then proceeding boucephalicly (down one aisle and
up the next) through the store until you end up in Dairy at the right hand
wall.  If you must assign a circular path name to that traversal, clockwise
would be the more accurate one.  And nothing in the store layout prevents a
shopper from going straight to Wines and Spirits in the lower right hand
corner once s/he's past the cashiers and traversing the store in a super-
ficially counterclockwise path.

One supermarket in my town has a superficially counterclockwise traversal path
as its more efficient traverse and I've been trying to remember why I find it
so disorienting.  I must conclude that it's because the great majority of all
the supermarkets I've been in in the US during the past 40 years have had
superficially clockwise traversal paths instead.  This includes stores in
northern and southern California, Maryland, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Con-
necticut, upstate New York, and Wisconsin -- so it's not likely to be a
strictly local or a recent phenomenon.

>It's obviously more convenient for an average human.

It's not obvious to me (but then, I'm not average).  My supermarket (above)
has a superficially clockwise traversal path, but the left and right hand
turns during the boucephalous parts probably cancel out each other and any
perceived advantage or disadvantage of starting on the left side instead of
the right, especially if you even more efficiently shop with a list and skip
the aisles that don't have things you want.

In England there used to be a superstition that to circle anything "widder-
shins" was bad luck (you gave fairies and demons power over you or something).
"Widdershins" is defined as "contrary to the course of the sun".  England
being in the northern hemisphere means that widdershins is counterclockwise.


Carrie		ceb@rechenau.unify.com	x6244		---------------------+
|  "Do not overbake."							     |
|		- complete recipe instructions for Missy's Oatmeal Cookies   |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: scm@harvee.billerica.ma.us (S. Mudgett aka little gator)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Anastasia Romanov - Not Found!
Date: 30 Jul 92 08:49:32 GMT
Organization: gators 'r us
X-Version: Rodney's UUCP modules 02/11/90 V1.18


In article <1992Jul29.164213.17295@ccu.umanitoba.ca> ejohnso@ccu.umanitoba.ca
(Eric Johnson) writes:

> According to an AP article, the grave containing the bodies of Czar Nicholas II
> and his family did not contain any bones that could have belonged to either
> his daughter Anastasia or Alexis, the crown prince. Also, the manuscript of
> the chief assassin tells of Alexis' "strange vitality" during the shooting
> and that bullets bounced off the girls' bodies and zinged around the room.
> Apparently there were 8kg of crown jewels hidden in their corsets.
so does this mean they have to rewrite the lyrics to "sympathy for the devil?"
--
-- little gator aka s. mudgett     email: scm@harvee.billerica.ma.us
-- friend of a gator is a friend of mine
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: antunes@astro.psu.edu (Sandy Antunes)
Subject: Re: Sanity
Organization: Department of Astronomy and Astrophysics, Penn State University
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 02:01:09 GMT


Hello.  Well, snopes says:

>I doubt it.  Contrary to most people's perceptions of psychiatric hospitals,
>they aren't allowed to lock people up as "loonies" until they get around to
>declaring them sane.  A hospital can only hold you for 72 hours, if they have
>reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others.  After that 72-hour
>period, they cannot hold you involuntarily without periodically appearing
>before some type of hearing and demonstrating that you remain a danger.  If

Given that all it takes is a doctor's signature to complete the "hearing",
and it is therefore a judgement call by one person as to whether you are a 
danger, I'd say it's still too easy to get locked up.  The definition of
"danger to oneself and others" is in the eye of the beholder.  Once one has
been admitted, "normal" behavior often is misintepreted.  Then again, I hang
out with borderline cases anyway.  One friend was locked up because someone
called a hospital saying she was suicidal, and it took a while for her to
get released as she was "uncooperative" (i.e. kept saying "let me out! It's
stupid to have me here")  Although lacking common sense, she was hardly a
danger (unless looks could kill...)

sandy
alex@astro.isas.ac.jp

ObUL:  If you don't have a witty quote in your .sig, no one will
       recognize nor remember you.  Especially snopes :)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: tad@ssc.wa.com (Tad Cook)
Subject: Re: Modem tax back
Organization: very little
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 17:00:56 GMT

In article <1992Jul25.074742.14411@n3dmc.svr.md.us> johnl@n3dmc.svr.md.us (John Limpert) writes:
>scott@nv10.uswnvg.com (Scott Eckelman) writes:
>>Modems change the usage picture a lot.  When I use a modem, it's almost
>>always for far longer than if I were using the phone to call a friend.
>>If you have lots of customers using modems where they used to 
>>use only the phone, the phone company has to purchase more of that
>>expensive equipment to insure that _all_ customers continue to receive
>>their expected levels of service.  So, more expensive equipment,
>>higher tariffs for service.  But why should a customer who only
>>uses the phone 10 minutes a day subsidize other customers who are
>>using their modem 2 hours a night?
>
>So why don't we have a teenager tax?  There are plenty of people who
>talk for hours at a time.  Let's tax lonely old people who can't get
>out of the house.
>

But there is no "modem tax," nor is one being proposed.  Compuserve
is trying to pull a fast one....getting themselves exempted from
ANY possible charges on ALL future enhanced network services by
labelling it a "modem tax."



-- 
 Tad Cook     |  Phone:  206-527-4089  (home)     |   MCI Mail: 3288544   
 Seattle, WA  |  Packet: KT7H @ N7DUO.WA.USA.NA   |   3288544@mcimail.com 
              |  Internet: tad@ssc.wa.com        or...sumax!ole!ssc!tad
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Jimmy the Greek
Date: 29 Jul 92 17:59:28 GMT
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University

In article <vgdnbryq@csv.warwick.ac.uk> csuah@warwick.ac.uk (~WISP at CU~) writes:
>>
>>There was a local weatherman who was a quick-drawing artist called Tex
>>Antoine for many years.  He is alleged to have said something like "if
>>rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it" as some parable relating to some
>>impending bad weather.  He got a chance to appear on the air again and
>>give a public apology, but was subsequently fired.
>>
>Dumb thing to say, but didn't Confucius once say it?

I think Tex mentioned Confucius, but did it a pidgin-English way, so it was
a double slur.

cjl
From: jtchew@csa3.lbl.gov (JOSEPH T CHEW)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: That pesky jackrabbit with the dynamite gets a friend
Date: 26 Jul 92 06:28:27 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory - Berkeley, CA, USA
Reply-To: jtchew@csa3.lbl.gov
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.254.198
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.3-4   

The mailman delivered into my quivering hands the August issue
of Car and Driver -- and a story that walks, gobbles, and 
explodes like a UL.  William Jeanes, editor, writes on page 9:

     Tuning in my auto-borne wireless the other day, I
     heard a hunting story that may retire any trophy
     given for wilderness tales.  [Another potential
     sucker has gotten wise to ULs.  Spoilsport. -jc]  
     A hunter, having shotgunned an unsuspecting wild
     turkey, placed the unfortunate fowl in the trunk
     and headed home.  In a burst of monumental
     stupidity, he stored his loaded fowling piece in 
     the baggage compartment as well. Unaccountably,
     the turkey revitalized, scratched about in a panic,
     and set off the shotgun.  The explosion destroyed
     the rear seat and sprayed the driver with buckshot.

Joe "And then rainwater came in through the holes, drowning it" Chew
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.books,rec.arts.sf.misc,rec.humor
From: rob@watney.eng.ohio-state.edu (Rob Carriere)
Subject: Re: Agnostics and Athiests
Organization: The Ohio State University Dept of Electrical Engineering
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 05:51:59 GMT

In article <jdecarlo.181.712514213@mitre.org> jdecarlo@mitre.org (John
DeCarlo) writes: 
>Well, personally I think of "atheist" as "a-" "theist", where a theist 
>believes in and cares about the existence of a deity or deities.  Therefore, 
>an a-theist is someone who either actively doesn't so believe, or someone 
>who simply doesn't care.

If we're going to post out of charter, can we at least peruse a dictionary?

Atheist: One who denies the existence of god(s).

Agnostic: One who holds that the supernatural is unknowable.

SR
"Sheesh."
---
From: bradn@tekig1.PEN.TEK.COM (Bradford H Needham)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Barefoot in the park, or anywhere else...
Summary: hookworm, blech
Date: 31 Jul 92 17:37:02 GMT
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Beaverton,  OR.

OK, OK.  For the edification and lurid entertainment of all, I'll post a few
notes about a talk I saw on TV recently.

Local public access cable showed a tape of a guy from the Oregon Health
Sciences Center giving a lecture on parasites.  He's a researcher into the
molecular biology of these little nasties.  To give you a hint of his point
of view, his ending remark was "Now I hope you can see that parasites aren't
as bad as the movies and books portray them -- <smirk> that they're far worse."

This guy had vivid clinical photos of various truly ugly infestations of
humans.  He talked about all those messy diseases I remember from grade-school
World Health Organization films.  Diseases like elephantiasis.  His style
of presentation went something like this:

    Elephantiasis is difficult to treat because it occurs when the infesting
    parasite dies.  Radiation treatment, for example, doesn't work too well
    on organisms that are already dead.  Now, I'm sure you've all heard stories
    of scrotal elephantiasis, where the worst cases had testicles so large
    they had to carry them around in wheelbarrows.  This isn't true.

      <click of slide projector>
      <groans of horror and disgust from the audience>
    
    The case pictured here was even worse.

After talking about all manner of revolting worms infecting folks in tropical
countries (accompanied by equally revolting photos), he got around to hookworm.

Hookworms exist in the USA.  Here's their life cycle:
    The larvae live in soil.
    They burrow through the skin and enter the bloodstream.
    They meander around the body in a disgusting way, traveling from
    bloodstream, to lungs, up the windpipe, down the throat, and into the
    stomach.
    In the stomach and intestines, they grow and reproduce.
    Their larvae exit the body through feces.
    The larvae then lurk in the soil, waiting for the next victim.  They
    can hang around in the soil a *long* time.

So, boys and girls, hookworm is one of the reasons you don't want to fertilize
with just any old feces, you wash vegetables, and you (in places) don't go
barefoot.


Brad "You had to ask, didn't you?" Needham
bradn@augsburg.pen.tek.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.college,alt.religion.kibology
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: College Pranks (Was Re: Vacation Time!)
Keywords: Ditch Day, vanishing room
Organization: Between a rock and a type specimen sheet, Boston.
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 07:15:30 GMT

In article <42xx0yd@rpi.edu> kasprj@rpi.edu writes:
>In article <-cxx5+a@rpi.edu>, nasadk@vccsouth24.its.rpi.edu (Kristopher Martin Nasadowski) writes:
>|> 
>|> One of our buildings had a few 9 floor high stairtwells with nice openings
>|> down them. During the year, the capus security department had to place extra
>|> security in the building because students were prone to throwing things down
>|> the stairwell, ala Letterman. 
> 
> Ah yes, the CII Gravity tests. 
> 
> A few things which I know were tossed down the main CII stairwell:
> 
> - a Courier keyboard (I thought the tube would have been even better)

It made a "fraaaazzzzzz" noise when it got to the end of the stairwell,
I assume?  Followed by "||||" instead of "!!!!".

> - a set of Visor-Gogs with a rock taped to them (they didn't break)

Hey!  I thought everyone KNEW they were INDESTRUCTIBLE!  In fact, I'm
still WEARING mine!

> Some things I'd always wished someone _would_ toss down the stairwell:
> 
> - Kibo

What about Greb Nad and Reicrem Luap?

>     \_| Pro-Change. Pro-America. Pro-Clinton.

Clinton has Ted Danson's hair.  Vote for Kibo!  He has his OWN hair!

								-- K.

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: n9020351@henson.cc.wwu.edu (James Douglas Del-Vecchio)
Subject: Re: catching bullets with the teeth
Organization: Western Washington University
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 19:13:35 GMT

slb3y@cc.usu.edu (Punk Rocketeer) writes:

>salantel@dssv01.crd.ge.com (E. L. Salant) writes:
>> I heard from coworkers, that on tv they showed a man who could 
>> catch a bullet fired from a gun with his teeth.  Supposedly the
>> gun was statically mounted and carefully aimed, and the bullet 
>> would pass through things like a piece of paper or a glass pane
>> to prove it was no sleight of hand.

>fatal.  Or is my mind playing tricks when I recall that within the
>last year someone tried this trick and failed?

I heard an UL type story about a guy who said he was going to do
this, and all he did was kill himself in front of an audience.
Gruesome.

It would be real sick, imo, to do a stunt where one appears to
fire a gun at one's own face at all, as pointing a gun at your
face is about the most stupid thing a person could ever do, and 
not something kids (read monkies) should see.

Pointing a gun at your face is the kind of act that good gun safety 
training will indoctronate a child to never even think about, let
alone do. 

Jim "gun safety" Del Vecchio
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG (Phil Gustafson)
Subject: Re: Mis-applied physics in advertising
Organization: Famed Parquet Floor
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 06:53:07 GMT

In article <1992Jul21.010610.12164@news.columbia.edu> lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:
>
>What was Buster Brown's dog's name?
>

Tige.

Phil "Pluck your magic twanger, froggie" Gustafson

-- 
|play: phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG; {ames|pyramid|vsi1}!zorch!phil                |
|work: phil@gsi; sgi!gsi!phil            | Phil Gustafson                   |
| "Don't believe in ads.  Don't believe in government.  Watch yourself --   |
|  everybody is trying to screw you!"  Bill Gaines, 1922-1992               |