HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What is NOT attractive to "SINGLE" men
Date: 12 Dec 92 20:09:43 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright) writes:

>It's extremely common for women to feel that
>their weight should be under their control and if they were really
>_good_ people, with any sort of self-control, etc. etc., they'd be thin.

_The_Beauty_Myth_ by Naomi Wolf has a lot of flaws, but I really like one
thing it points out: in the past couple of decades, there has been a
switch from feeling guilty about being sexual to feeling guilty about eating.
If you listen to conversations about food with this in mind, it's amazing
what they sound like. "Ooh, I was so *bad*, I ate a piece of chocolate 
decadence. But I just couldn't help myself." Even the name of the food 
sometimes ties in with the theme.

>I think that if you let her set the agenda, there isn't anything you can
>do to overcome her evaluation of herself.  Replying "there's nothing wrong
>with your hips" just doesn't cut it when she can see for herself that 
>most people think Cindy Crawford's are nicer.  

Let me ask you this: are you as critical about the appearnace of your female
friends as you are about yours? Or do you look at your friend's thighs and
say, "Well it looks nice on her, but it looks awful on me?"
 
Part of the way I overcame my negative ideas about my appearance was to 
look at other women and realize that I thought other women with the same
sort of body as mine looked OK. I just didn't think was OK for *me* to 
look that way. Once I figured this out, I realized I was being silly, and
I became more satisfied with the way I look.

--
Stef                     "The force of gravity on the moon is a fraction of
stef@apple.com            the gravity on the earth, so the moon would not be 
                          able to attract the pen to inself.  Rather, it would
                          only be able to suspend the pen."
                              --The Pen Is Mightier Than the Moon Hall of Fame
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: rohwerwd@netcom.com (Mr. Tickle Monster)
Subject: Re: Truth/Psychiatrists and homosexuality.
Organization: The Tickle Palace - Moonyvale, CA
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 08:52:58 GMT

In article <1992Dec11.060413.1531@sol.UVic.CA> atovorni@engr.UVic.CA writes:
>
>[deleted]                  ()
/deleted/

-- 
                                         +---------------------------------+
  +-----------------------------------+ /      Not a net.personality      /
 /   // Mr. Tickle Monster   // Amiga ++---------------------------------+
|  \X/   W. David Rohwer   \X/  3000  /  Internet: rohwerwd@netcom.COM  /
+------------------------------------+---------------------------------+
From: tps@jptcs.COM (Tim Sailer)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: What is gold-digging?
Date: 16 Dec 92 19:24:20 GMT
Organization: JPT Computer Solutions
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]

F. Karner (frank@austin.ibm.com) wrote:
: 
: Kind of reminds me of my ex's (your money is OURS, but my money is
: MINE) "equitable" distribution of paychecks.

Your's was like that too? 'Things that make you go HMMMMMM.....' :)

-- 
Tim Sailer
JPT Computer Solutions - SCO Sales/Consulting/Administration and Mangling
Port Jefferson Station, NY
(516) 331-9001
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.abortion.inequity
From: kevin@rotag.mi.org (Kevin Darcy)
Subject: Re: Choice as a Reason for not having a relationship(was: Pre-Sex Contract)
Organization: Who, me???
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 19:06:16 GMT

In article <1gpcbcINNbtg@gap.caltech.edu> peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri) writes:
>Will Steeves <goid@zooid.guild.org> writes:
>
>>"Any woman [or man] who feels
>>this way, [fill in the blank], is NOT someone whom I
>>would want anything to do with".
>
>>I guess that the point which I'm making is that if you're willing to 
>>condemn a man who choses [fill in the blank]
>> you should also be as willing to
>>condemn a woman who make the same choice, as well.
>
>>Mind you, I am *not* saying that you *should* condemn either one, but at the
>>same time, realise that both have made decisions which would possibility affect
>>the hopes and dreams of another person.
>
>If more people would communicate honestly these sorts of ideas before
>(or instead of) sex, the world would be a much happier (although perhaps
>hornier) place.

So you approve of a verbal contract, but not a written one? Is that it?

Seems like a rather arbitrary distinction...

								- Kevin
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: What is gold-digging?
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 21:56:37 GMT

In article <101671@netnews.upenn.edu> crawford@ben.dev.upenn.edu (Lauren L. Crawford) writes:
>
>Would someone define gold-digging?
>
>If a man asks me out, and I don't know him very well, I assume he's
>paying.  If he doesn't, he's got no class whatsoever, IMO.  Frankly, it
>hasn't happened to me (though it did happen to a friend of mine).  
>
>If it's not a first date, I'll usually offer to pay my way, depending on 
>the guy -- some guys would rather _always_ pay; others like to split the 
>bill.  Usually, though, I end up with guys who, if they ask me out, plan
>on paying.  In those cases, I'll usually offer to leave the tip or buy
>dessert.
>
>I imagine it would be different if I asked a man out, but that isn't my
>style.  
>
>Now that I've been seeing someone for over a year, we rarely do the
>traditional "date" thing; I'll pay for lunch this time, he'll pay next
>time, I'll cook, he'll cook, whatever.  Occasionally we still do the
>formal "date," we go somewhere special and he pays.  Otherwise, whoever
>happens to have money at the time pays, or we split it.  
>
>So, would any guys out there in net.land consider any of this 
>"gold-digging"?  I'm honestly not very familiar with the term.

Not in my mind--what you've described above sounds perfectly reasonable,
though I do know a fair number of women who prefer to pay their share on
a first date (cuts down their date's leverage in case things go a direction
she doesn't want).  

Personally, I would define 'gold-digging' as something far stronger:  dating
someone primarilly for the purpose of spending that person's money rather
than your own and using dishonesty and/or manipulation to achieve this end.
Usually, this involves things like jewelry and automobiles rather than 
dinner; if the worst that someone did was never to pick up a dinner check,
such a person might qualify for 'sponge' but not 'gold-digger.'

Oddly enough, the few people I can recall meeting who seemed to fit this
description were male.

Trygve 
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: bgarfink@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (beth diane garfinkel)
Subject: Re: Abortion...man's choice part 2
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 21:56:55 GMT

In <1992Dec10.084545.1@ulkyvx.louisville.edu> tegarr01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu writes:

>I think the people of the net should read my post as many times as it takes
>until they understand what is going on.

>In no way is the person in the post avoiding responsibility.  He is just trying
>to prevent a life from being lost.  You must consider his situation.  The
>male's say is the last taken into account in this situation.  The lady in no
>way showed any regards to his feelings.  So, why should he accept her decision. 
Now, wait a minute.  You're oversimplifying a more complicated situation
than that. . . (or is that overcomplicating a more simple situation than
that?) The decision at hand is, to abort or not to abort.  This HAS to
be her decision.  She may have considered his feelings in the matter and
decided that they were not strong enough reasons to chose not to abort,
but if she's only considering the two alternatives, she must ultimately
make her own choice. And she certainly has every right to decide that
her life takes precedence over the potential life of her as yet unborn
child.

>By not paying for the abortion he is doing what he can to avoid what he does
>not desire.  Responsibility he does not lack.

"To avoid what he does not desire" is just a synonym for refusing to
take responsibility. . .but you said it, I didn't.

Beth
-- 
"This must be Thursday.  I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
	-Arthur Dent, on being told that the Earth is about to blow up.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: cocoa@netcom.com
Subject: Re: Kissing Frogs
Organization: Bourbon Street
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 21:03:41 GMT

In article <MARTINC.92Dec14202234@grover.cs.unc.edu> martinc@grover.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>In article <1992Dec14.162348.10685@netcom.com> cocoa@netcom.com writes:
>
>   In article <MARTINC.92Dec12161427@hatteras.cs.unc.edu> martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
>   >Maybe you're just clueless.
>
>   And that makes you what Charlie?  Just what *does* that make you? :)
>
>I'm not sure, actually.  I've just been suffering from the delusion that
>*I* might be the person Beth was talking about ....

Suffering from delusions, eh?

So tell me *Dr.*, is that your medical opinion?  Next thing you know, you'll 
want to prescribe birth control pills for that. :)

Just me,

little 'e'


-- 
*  *  *    Chocolatier at Arms, and Castle Wetware Liason            *  *  *
*  *  *    e-mail: cocoa@netcom.com   -    voicemail: 415-337-4940   *  *  *

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: People who give too much in a relationship (was Re: Attraction...)
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 16:41:29 GMT

In article <1992Dec11.224119.11412@cbnewsk.cb.att.com> krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith) writes:
>Hi Glen,
>I had one like that too.  I had to leave her because:
>
>	a) she wouldn't do anything to advance herself
>	   (if she went to school, she would drop out because her knee hurt,
>	    if she got a job, she would quit because her back hurt,
>	    she claimed to be allergic to most everything on the planet,
>	    she was _at least_ 60lbs overweight, 5'2" and 200+ lbs 
>	    [which _had_ to be aggravating her knee/back problems if
>	     they were, in fact, real] and yet, refused to train/diet
>	     to get herself to a healthier weight)
>	b) she would plan out _my_ free time for days in advance
>	c) she had "one tantrum too many" in my apartment
>	   (I mean the screaming, stomping, door-slamming,
>		falling-down-on-the-floor type fits :-(  )

Seesters?
 
================================================================================
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Subject: Re: What is gold-digging?
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 00:41:23 GMT

In article <8fKV03UOc35G00@amdahl.uts.amdahl.com> jsp@pls.amdahl.com writes:
>This is a prime example of why so many men today are so confused.  To
>some women, if the man doesn't pay then he's got no class.  To other
>women, if the man does pay then he's not treating the woman as an equal.

Women are just as confused. If the guy wants to split the check, is it 
because he wants to start off as equals, or is it because he's just cheap?
(Men can be "goldiggers" just as much as women can.)

Personally, I've always felt that the person who asks should be prepared to
pay. And when I have asked, I have paid. I've even paid for both of us even
when I haven't asked, just because I enjoy treating someone to a meal. I also
enjoy being treated. This is what is meant by equals to me - we are both
capable of giving and receiving.
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: larry@b8.b8.ingr.com (Larry Billings)
Subject: Re: Over 40 and single....Anyone that "OLD"?
Organization: Intergraph
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 21:55:19 GMT

In article <1992Dec14.211229.25807@cbnewsk.cb.att.com>, krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith) writes:
> Louise Billi writes:
> >
> >Over 40 (just a tad) women have a terrible time of it.
> >Men in that age group are all looking for the young "Tenderoni"
> >to make him feel like a kid again.  Can't men realize that 
> >most younger women see them as either a "Father Figure" or
> >a "Sugar Daddy"?  Is that what they really want in a mate?
> >
> >And it is sad today that wrinkles on a woman mean she is OLD, 
> >yet on a man, they add character.  This 'youth oriented' 
> >culture leaves the over 40 woman out in the cold.
> >********************************************************************
> 
> Louise,
> Wherein is it written that an over-40 woman must set her sights on
> over-40 men only?  If you keep your eyes open, you just might find
> that there are younger men about who may find you attractive.
> 
> Keith R

A very good female friend of mine worried about turning 30, so I sent her 
a birthday card which said: Outside-Studies show that men are finding older
women to be attractive and desirable.
Inside-Unfortunately, men now consider age 30 to be older.

I think she is still waiting to pay me back for that one.  :)

Larry
From: souchay@CAM.ORG (Francois Souchay)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Kissing Frogs
Date: 13 Dec 92 03:30:21 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Communications Accessibles Montreal, Quebec Canada

In article <7894@news.duke.edu> diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
>In article <1992Dec12.004306.23870@netcom.com> cocoa@netcom.com writes:
>>One of my best friends sent me a wonderful card with a very similar sentiment.
>>It read:
>>"What's the difference between a Nice Guy and a Jerk?"
>>"Nice Guys become Jerks later on."

>This reminds me of something one of my friends (one of my MALE friends,
>mind you) says about men.
>"All men are either clueless or assholes.  If you meet one who seems
> to be neither, he's probably an asshole."

Odd, neither my male nor my female friends fit within this clueless/asshole
probability density function.  Of course, the men under 30 tend to take
equality as a given, as opposed to the mid-thirties who need a bit 
of education. 

Maybe I just have good taste in friends, but generalizations like this
only raise the level of tension between men & women, rahter uselessly IMO.

Mightn't it somewhat more useful to concentrate on analysing socialization
in the last decade of the 20th century instead of casting out easy slogans?

Besides elizabeth, he never stated what category *he* belonged to. Hmph.

Francois.
Xref: sparky soc.singles:34240 alt.romance.chat:22091 alt.romance:15413 alt.personals:24590
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.romance.chat,alt.romance,alt.personals
Subject: Re: The TygerBoink Committee would like to thank you
Date: 18 Dec 92 01:23:51 GMT
Followup-To: soc.singles
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <92352.123544AZLMH@ASUACAD.BITNET> AZLMH@ASUACAD.BITNET (Lisa Mae) writes:
 
|You didn't ask. *wink* 8-)    Besides, I didn't kiss anybody.  I just
|*hugged* some people and slapped one person(Rip), and Started and Finished
|a *tickle* war.  It's too bad DK couldn't come.  You could of seen all the
|squirming forms trying to avoid the *tickling* fingers. *grin* It was fun.
|
|Lisa Mae (Ariel)
|I'm sending this to all these groups, but I mainly only read Alt.romance.chat
|so if you want to catch me, that's where I post the most. *grin*

Who would have guessed?
-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 15:55:44 EST
From: Graydon <SAUNDRSG@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Am I banished?
Distribution: na
 <1992Dec10.195742.3919@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> <lihhdqINN76a@news.bbn.com>

In article <lihhdqINN76a@news.bbn.com>, dhardin@bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) says:
>[renaisance weddings]
>
>What a fabulous idea!  I've been wondering how I was going to manage
>to sneak a pagan wedding in without freaking out the mutant's parents
>(an ex-priest and an ex-nun no less.)  Now if the situation should ever
>happen to happen, I've got a framework to start with.
>
>This also has the added benefit of seeing the groom in tights.  (I wonder
>how many tranquilizers I'd have to slip into my sweetie's coffee before
>I could get him to dress up like that and if he'd be able to stand up and
>say "I guess so" at the appropriate time.)
>
>Dawn
>
>Joseph Campbell gave me hope and now I have been saved.
>"Folk Song" by Bongwater

Depends - do you want him to wear one of those ridiculous padded codpieces,
too?  :]

You could always do a Saxon wedding - less obviously wierd clothes,
and very easy to slip the pagan elements in.

Middle-class Renaisance stuff might me much easier to get him into -
not so fluffy and frilly.

If all else fails, hire female friends to drool on him during the
fitting parts, in the hope of bolstering his self confidence.

Graydon
From: huston@access.digex.com (Herb Huston)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Women, Cats, & Chocolate
Date: 20 Dec 1992 14:20:57 GMT
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, MD USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: access.digex.com

In article <1992Dec17.143646.10954@dgbt.doc.ca> michele@dgbt.doc.ca (Michele Guillet) writes:
}In article <1gpoduINNqva@mirror.digex.com> huston@access.digex.com (Herb Huston) writes:
}>There are two breeds of cat that can be suitable for folks with allergies.
}>The Cornish Rex lacks guard hairs (it's sometimes called the Poodle Cat),
}>and the Sphynx is almost naked.  The latter cat was bred in Canada, too,
}>so I'm surprised that your allergist was unaware of it.
}>
}My allergist wasn't that keen on me getting a pet, to be frank I think
}he tought I was completely nuts.
}
}Allergies to cat are most of the time allergies to the saliva 
}in addition to the hair.

Well, I probably should have said "... that can be suitable for some folks
with allergies."  A downside to these two breeds is that they're still rare
and therefore quite expensive.  Also, they're rather high maintenance pets
since the Cornish Rex probably needs human assistance with its grooming, and
the Sphynx needs protection from cold weather.

[I'll be taking a one-week vacation starting today, and I will not be checking
either email or Usenet while I'm away.]

-- Herb Huston
-- huston@access.digex.com
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: Attraction -> Acquiantance or vice versa?
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 04:25:27 GMT

In article <1992Dec11.164539.2073@cbnewsk.cb.att.com> krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith) writes:
>
>  I also know that there is not a "snowball's chance
>in hell that I might become sexually attracted to any of my men-friends,
>nor they with me.

Hmmm...of course you could be in for a surprise someday....

>  I believe that platonic relationships work best when
>they are between (among?) people who could not imagine being romantically
>involved with each other.  Therefore, if I am looking to spend time with
>a platonic friend, I would just as soon hang out with one of my homeboys.

Well, people are different--myself, I find that some of my most enjoyable
platonic friendships are with former lovers and many others are with
friends that, had things been a little different, could have been lovers.

I always figured that emotional closeness and communication was
desirable whether or not you're exchanging bodilly fluids with
someone.  (And it seems kinda silly to reject half the population as
potential friends because of the configuration of their genitalia.) 

>Taking all of this into account, the only time that a man can really/"legally"
>spend time with his female friends is when he is SO-less.  When a man is
>SO-less, he really wants to rectify that situation as soon as possible,
>therefore, he is not going to spend loads of time hangin' out with a woman
>who has absolutely no designs on him, nor he for her, unless, maybe she
>is one of those "rare birds" that will actually introduce him to one
>of her girlfriends (fat chance!).  Then, of course, if girlfriend is interested,then _she_ will make heavy demands upon his time.

Gosh, and here all this time I'd been thinking that having fun together was
a sufficient reason to spend time with friends....

Trygve
From: martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Size 8? (Re: What is NOT attractive to "SINGLE" men)
Date: 13 Dec 92 22:05:56 GMT
	<MARTINC.92Dec12161240@hatteras.cs.unc.edu>
	<1992Dec13.080112.67513@watson.ibm.com>
Distribution: usa
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: margoli@watson.ibm.com's message of 13 Dec 92 08:01:12 GMT

In article <1992Dec13.080112.67513@watson.ibm.com> margoli@watson.ibm.com (Larry Margolis) writes:

   In <MARTINC.92Dec12161240@hatteras.cs.unc.edu> martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
   >In article <7895@news.duke.edu> diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
   >   Thanks, Charlie, you're a sweetheart.   However, I think I'd rather sit on
   >   his ribcage for a few hours.
   >
   >Yeah, that's what you say -- but do you ever offer to sit on *my*
   >ribcage for a few hours?

   You want her to sit on your *ribcage*?  Face it, Charles...

So far I've not gotten any better offers....
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: margoli@watson.ibm.com (Larry Margolis)
Subject: Re: Giving and Receiving
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 04:15:20 GMT
Distribution: na
News-Software: IBM OS/2 PM RN (NR/2) v0.16f by O. Vishnepolsky and R. Rogers
Reply-To: margoli@watson.IBM.com
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: The Village Waterbed

In <1992Dec15.144343.158@cbfsb.cb.att.com> jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton) writes:
>In article <1992Dec15.102722.17472@rs6000.bham.ac.uk> pickerig@eee.bham.ac.uk (Guy Pickering) writes:
>>If you give someone little presents, what do you give and what do
>>you like to receive?
>
>Thread is a good gift to receive.

Actually, it appears as though Guy has just given us a new thread.  Thanks!
--
Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), margoli@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: Re^2: Truth/Psychiatrists and homosexuality.
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 17:12:05 GMT

In article <4313@novavax.UUCP> grohol@novavax.UUCP (John Grohol) writes:
>
>I go to a graduate school that is currently training over 300 students
>for their doctoral degree in psychology. I can assure you, and everyone
>else out there, that what we do in therapy is not to "focus on dogma,"
>nor ignoring the client's concerns.
>
>-John

Well John how does it make you feel when I say "Purple". What do you think
about colors? How was your childhood? I mean was it happy? Did you
feel as though you had a productive childhood? How does it make you feel
when I say "Red". 
 
You may think I'm kidding but I'm actually conducting therapy and I would
never ignore my clients concerns. Even if they thought they new better.
 
================================================================================
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
                                 doh#0000000005
================================================================================