From: doug@eng.umd.edu (Douglas N. Cohen)
Subject: alt.persoanls.* FAQ
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 10:42:51 GMT
Organization: Hah!  we don't need no steenkin' organization!
Summary: 	the FAQ, ma'am, just the FAQ.....
Followup-To: 	doug:  < doug@eng.umd.edu > : < doug@lpf.umd.edu >
Keywords: -=-=-=-< what you always never wanted to know >-=-=-=-
Cc: doug@eng.umd.edu


> what is a FAQ? 
     there are a number of questions that a new reader to alt.personals.*
might have about the newsgroup(s) and how they are run.  even 'old-time'
 users of the alt.personals group might run across some confusion every
now and again.  there then arise a number of frequently asked questions
on the net about these things.  that's what this list is - answers to
those Frequently Asked Questions.  please - if you have a question, look
for the answer in here first before posting to the net as a whole.  do
not mail questions to the administrator of this list, they may be discarded
un-answered.

> the list:

> Frequently Asked Question List.
> the contents of this list:
> what is alt.personals.*?
> what is a personals/personals ad?
> who can post to the alt.personals.* group, and how?
> '.sig' and sig-files
> what is acs (anonymous contact service)/and anonymity in general?
> what do all those abbreviations mean?
> other popular abbreviations.
> what are the guidelines for alt.personals.*?   
> where to take discussions instead of alt.personals/alt.personals.ads:
> why don't i get all those groups/how come i can't get *.* group?
> posting style.
> other questions.

> what is alt.personals.*?
     alt.personals.* is a hierarchy of groups, at this time, consisting of 4
groups, (alt.personals and alt.personals.ads, alt.personals.bondage and
alt.persoanls.misc,) where people can meet people, electronically.
in the beginning......
1st there was alt.personals.  its original purpose was a place on the net
where anybody could place a personal ad.  its gone a bit beyond that in its
current incarnation, and there is a lot of discussion about single people and
about people who place personal ads, and general observations, criticisms,
and a general forum for people to interface, as well as personal ads.  since
it is an 'alt' group, it has no official charter, only some guidelines.  those
guidelines are below.  it is not moderated, meaning, there is no one in
control of the posting other that the 'net.gods' who own the machines, and
your local systems administrators, who are responsible for their newsgroups.
     at some point in mid 1992, traffic on the alt.personals group had become
so great that the 'noise' to ad ratio caused enough discussion that someone
created an alternative 'alt.personals' group, dedicated strictly to ads.  while
the idea was motivated by the highest of idealism, the new group,
alt.personals.ads soon turned into a duplicate or redundant alt.personals.
all that applies to alt.personals also applies to alt.personals.ads.
     there is a specific group, called alt.personals.bondage.  this is still an
alt.personals.* group, however it is aimed at the specific needs of a specific
group of people.
     in addition, there is alt.personals.misc, a group specifically for the 
continuation of discussions that may appear on the alt.personals.* groups,
yet not be appropriate for continuance there.

> what is a personals/personals ad?
     from webster's ninth new collegiate dictionary and collegiate
thesaurus  (1st digital edition):

   1: of, relating to, or affecting a person: PRIVATE <done purely for
        personal financial gain>
   2a: done in person without the intervention of another; also: proceeding
           from a single person
     b: carried on between individuals directly <a personal interview>
   3: relating to the person or body
   4: relating to an individual or his character, conduct, motives, or private
        affairs often in an offensive manner <a personal insult>
   5a: being rational and self-conscious <personal, responsive government
          is still possible PJohn Fischer>
     b: having the qualities of a person rather than a thing or abstraction <a
          personal devil>
   6: of, relating to, or constituting personal property <a personal estate>
   7: denoting grammatical person 

   personal n

   1: a short newspaper paragraph relating to the activities of a person or
        a group or to personal matters
   2: a short personal or private communication in a special column of the
         classified ads section of a newspaper or periodical 

     while all the meanings could technically apply, and i, myself, have even
justified certain posts that way, the generally accepted  notion of a
'personals/personals ad' is most appropriately, for our purposes, the noun,
definitions 1 & 2. (for all intents and purposes, we are a 'periodical')
     while may times it is impossible to control the urges, given many strong
provocations, try to keep in mind the general purpose of the group.

> who can post to alt.personals.*, and how?
   anyone with the proper access to internet/usenet, via a machine that 
carries the specific newsgroup to which you wish to post, (and assuming
you have posting privelege on your machine), can post.  such priveleges
are just that, a privelege.  *NOT* a right.  abusing the privelege can
result in loss of access, loss of account(s), and various legal civil and 
criminal proceedings.  most unfortunate, should you end up there.  it
generally depends on the offense, the intent, the systems administrator
whom you may annoy or anger, and or any superiors (such as your boss)
who may not appreciate your 'representation'.
     generally, internet or usenet sites are of three origins:  public access
systems (pay to play), universities and educational institutions (by far, the
largest group) , and large and small private corporations.  it costs someone,
some where, *REAL* money to carry and maintain a site, and it isn't wise to
upset these people.  generally, they don't care what petty things occur on the
net, but should a problem come to their attention, they may well question their
support, and this usually means a set of very unfortunate circumstances.  this
is a thing generally to be avoided.

     usually, a large system with newsgroups is running something like 
'readnews', and when you first start reading news, you get a one time 
synopsis of 'how to use' readnews.  while new to a system or program,
often, such details sail right by, and after a while, you might forget.
     on UNIX systems, there is a command called [man].  it is a manual
entry call command, and when followed by a command, (ie., readnews)
it will look up the information on that command in the 'on line manuals.
in ULTRIX, a similar function exists also called [man].  VMS uses the
[help] command, which give you the help tree.
     things you may wish to learn about is the posting procedure for you
on your machine.  each system is a little bit different, although the are
many identical features.  you may wish to familiarize yourself with the
editor, as well as the posting procedure.  this saves major headaches
later.
     basic posting procedure on UNIX and ULTRIX systems is going to 
start with the command [Pnews].  you will then be prompted on a
number of things; which group(s), the subject, the distribution, article(s)
you wish to include, etc..  learn to use your editor.  cut down on 
un-necessary verbiage.  (ie. trim your article)  don't use all caps.  (this
is generally taken as SHOUTING! and is very annoying to read.  try to taylor
your line length to the standard screen width, so that words don't wrap in the
middle.  *USE A SPELL CHECKER OR EDIT YOUR WORK* before you send it out!  there
are few thing more irritating (or amusing) than a horribly mangled post.  it can
lend some rather amusing factors to an otherwise irritating post, but generally,
it is a sign of poor technical and language skills.
     after you have edited your fields, the body of your text, and (if you are
advanced enough) your 'sig' (that clever little 40 line thing that follows
some posts), then you are ready to send it out.  once it is sent, there are 
ways to retrieve it, but it still gets out a little way before you can stop it,
so, be sure you mean to say what you say, *before* you hit that 'send'
key.

> '.sig' and sig-files
     speaking of those 'clever little 40 line things...'  they are called sigs 
or signatures.  for most systems, you create a file (using an editor) that you
call '.sig'  (the '.' is important), in your 'root' directory.  in that file
you put a clever saying or some clever ascii art, or a combination of the two...
whatever you like.  you then save it.  depending on your system, you may have
to logout, then login again for it to become active, but in any event, whenever
you post or email something, it gets appended.
     however, when posting to the net (as in a newsgroup) it is generally not
polite to get too carried away with these .sigs.  try not to let them get too
long, possibly limiting them to maybe 4 - 6 lines.  there is no rule, but it is
the 'nettiquette'.
     also, be careful how you delineate it, as some posting software will
clip it right out.  also, you may not want it to go out when you post 
anonymously, as there may be those who know you by it, or can trace
you through it.
     what i like to do is to have a few files with different sigs in them, and
in my editing mode, i use a pipe or tilde sequence to append them where i wish.
this avoids sending them out automatically when i don't mean to, or accidental
duplications and only costs a few keystrokes.  your mileage may vary.....

> what is acs (anonymous contact service)/and anonymity in general?
is there a way to post anonymously?
     no.  a person with enough knowledge of systems, and having some skills
with hardware can get into anything/anywhere.  this requires *some* special
knowledge and access, but not all that difficult a thing to learn.  (for more
more on security matters see alt.security, and a couple of other groups, and
you will be appalled at just how easy it is!)  a reasonable 'rule of thumb' is
"don't send out anything you don't want everyone to know!"
ACS:
     there are a lot of myths and misconceptions regarding the alt.personals.*
and the acs and their relationship.
     acs is *NOT* a part of internet or the alt.peersoanls.*, except in that it
sits on top of the group.
what is acs?
     acs means 'anonymous contact service' and it is a service provided by
a person or persons who donate their time and machinery/system to the general
public, or specific aspects of the public.  it is a method by which the general
poster will *MAIL* his/her post to a specific address, and certain software
modifies the headers, and keeps track of where it came from, assigns an
an anonymous number or name, and then sends the post back to alt.personals.*.
     there are at least 5 different anonymous services in use, that i know
of, and 2 are on alt.personals/alt.personals.ads, one is on alt.personals.
bondage, one is on alt.sex.bondage, and i have another.
     *NOTE*  you are completely at the mercy of the person or persons running
the service (regardless of what they say) and if they wish to discriminate or
not discriminate in any way, it is their service and they can and do run it
anyway they wish.  they *also* must take the legal and administrative headaches
that can go with running such a service, and that alone has been the major
downfall of many acs services, in the past.  they also have access to that
complete data bank of names and addresses.  you are putting your trust in the
person running the service.  however, things can happen.  systems go haywire,
and strange things occur.  even recently.  'caveat emptor' or let the buyer
beware!
     i do not post anonymously.  it is a personal choice.  to me, it is less
honest.  there are those out there who have legitimate work concerns, or
certain sexual practices they would rather not have others know about. 
however, there is a major potential for abuse by users.  we have seen it quite
recently in the alt.personals.*.  there are no 'net.police', and  we have to
watch ourselves.  harassment, practical jokes, blackmail, and other abuses can
too easily occur.  be careful about what you say, and to whom.  once out there
in the public domain, it becomes public property, for better or worse, and
there are those who are all to ready to shut down an open system like this.
don't let it happen because of you.
     anyone who has a machine, and the software, can run an acs.  it is NOT a
part of the alt.personals.*  this is a common mistake.  it is overlaid on the
system, and you need not use one, if you do not wish to.  simply post directly
to the alt.*
     in order to use an acs, you must mail to the address provided by the acs
service, (generally in their acs FAQ or how to post to ACS, which, like this
FAQ, comes out periodically)  read the instructions provided by the service
you chose, and then carefully follow them.
     if you should wish to start your own acs, write to me, and i will provide
you with the address of the authors of three versions of the acs software that
*i* know of.  most likely, they would be more than happy to send it to you, as
they did for me.

> what do all those abbreviations mean?
a.p/a.p.a/a.p.b - alt.personals/alt.personals.ads/alt.personals.bondage
"*" is generally a wildcard and is used to mean "anything" as in;
     alt.personals.*, where "*" could mean "ads" or "bondage" or "d"
"d" at the end of a group (ie. alt.personals.d) will generally refer to
     "discussion"  or a place where discussion is appropriate
usually, the abbreviations for people are in groups of 3.
the first is status, the second race and the third sex.
usual status abbreviations:
S - single, M - married, D - divorced, G - Gay, Bi - bisexual, L-lesbian
C - couple
usual race abbreviations:
W - white, B - black, A - asian, I - indian
(although not a race: sometimes  J - jewish, C - christian)
usual sex abbreviations:
M - male, F - female, I - idiot (non-specific gender)

often, people posting use the wildcard '*' in place of any of the above.
this means that the person does not care about that preference.

Some examples:
SWF - single white female
BiWM - bisexual white male
GBM - gay black male
S*F - single "any race" female
etc.

> other popular abbreviations:
ISO- in search of
SO - significant other (lover, spouse, etc)
MOTSS - member of the same sex
MOTAS - member of the appropriate sex
MOTOS - member of the opposite sex
TV/TS - transvestite/trans-sexual
S&M/B&D - sadism & masochism/bondage & discipline
BTW - by the way
IM(NS)(H)O - in my (not so) (humble) opinion
FYI(A) for your information(amusement)
SF - san francisco
RTFM - read the f***ing manual
ESADMF - if you don't know what it means, don't worry about it!

> what are the guidelines for alt.personals.*?
     since the purpose for creating the group was for placing personal ads,
it is greatly preferred by many of the readers of alt.personals.* that you
only place personal ads there, and keep the discussion portion out of
alt.personals.* and put it in its appropriate group.  a vast number of
people ignore this, but since alt.personals.* is neither chartered nor
moderated, you can post just about anything you want.  the usual USENET
guidelines and regulations exist, of course, the main one here being do not
post any advertisements for products or services, only personal ads.  this
leads to the question of "what, exactly, is a personals?"   i will deal with
this question later.  postings seeking illegal substances or activities is
also frowned upon.  posting obvious slander or harassing messages is frowned
upon as well, and can lead to some very nasty legal consequences, in certain
situations, while posting someone's private e-mail without their permission
is a breach of "nettiquette", and considered very bad manners.
     some specific guidelines for alt.personals.* exist as well.  probably the
most important one, especially in a group like this, is to not post anything
derogatory concerning a person's sexual preference or habits.  this group has
men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men, women seeking women and
bi's seeking either, as well as married individuals seeking additional partners
or groups, and couples seeking the same.  if this bothers you, the general
recommendation is that you don't subscribe to this group.  if you do subscribe,
please don't harass other posters on the basis of sexual preference, or
morality.
      other guidelines include not posting EPS, TIF, GIF or JPEG (picture)
files.  postings containing foul or abusive language are not good, and "flames"
are asked to be directed to alt.flame.  discussions are going to occur, but if
you are looking for a specific group for discussions, please look at the list
below.  it isn't a complete list of groups, (i have over 2,500 available on my
machines, and some have more) just some groups that might be of interest to
alt.personal.* readers.  you should (but not always) find a more open audience
to discussions about particular topics in those groups than in alt.personals.*.

> where to take discussions instead of alt.personals.*:
discussion over alt.personals posts issues:  alt.personals.misc
talking about singles and singles issues:  soc.singles
  "       "   couples' "  couples   "   :  soc.couples
  "       "   men      "  male      "   :  soc.men
  "       "   women    "  women     "   :  soc.women
  "       "   gays     "  gay       "   :  soc.motss 
looking for pen-pals:  soc.pen-pals
s&m or b&d:            alt.sex.bondage
flames:                alt.flame
test posts:            misc.test
erotica:               rec.art.erotica
sex stories:           alt.sex.stories
sick humor:            alt.humor.tasteless
gifs:                  alt.bin.* (where "*" is the specific type)
                                               or alt.gifs
bigoted, morality bashing, preaching of any kind, unpleasant and
otherwise inappropriate stuff :             dev/null

> posting style:
     everybody has their own unique personality, and it is generally
recommended that you try and bring forth this personality when you post a
personal ad, if you are looking for best results.  important factors to
consider for your ad -
 - your age and the age range of people you are seeking.
 - your physical location and geographic region from which you are seeking
     contact.
 - your interests and what you find interesting in people
 - your intent - pen-pals, friends, possible relationships, just talk, whatever.

     posting ads blatantly looking for sex are generally ignored, but not 
always and a good number of them are hoaxes, so use caution or common sense
when either posting or responding to an ad looking for sex.  there is an old
saying,  "if it looks too good to be true, it probably is..."  or "caveat
emptor!"

     if you are a woman posting either a personal ad or a general post, be 
prepared, as female posters generally receive a pretty good response.  don't be
surprised if you receive over 100 pieces of mail in response to a personal ad.
be prepared for that.  also be prepared for some of them to be less than 
literary.

     If you are a man posting ISO a woman, don't be surprised if you get very
little if any response.  the key is to be persistent and original.  read the
group a while to get the feel of ads - you'll notice that a lot of them start
sounding the same rather quickly.  try to imagine yourself as a woman who has
respond to your ad - would you respond to yet another boring or crude post or
to an ad that shows some originality and personality.  its been 'proven' that
original and lively posts get the best responses.

     it is generally a buyer's market, and it seems that the women are in the
buyer's position.  while it may seem that there are not many women out there
posting, that can be rather deceiving.  there are *MANY* more men and women out
there who are watching or 'lurking', than who actually post.  often a clever
post will draw a response.  more often than not, the reason that you may not an
immediate response is because of your post, not because there is no one out
there.
     in brief, originality will go a very long way for you.

     if you think that you will go out and find your 'wet-dream' situation,
through posting on the net, then serious re-alignment may be in order.  while
it might happen, the reality is that if you are having personality problems
connecting with people in person, the net *IS NOT* going to solve them.  you
will still have to deal with other persons, and eventually, you will have to
face and deal with your problem.

     don't whine and snivel how there are no good women or men out there in 
'.net-land'.  1, it isn't true, 2. nobody wants to listen to you whine.  try
looking at yourself realistically, and changing yourself/post first.

     harassment happens.  generally by males who haven't learned the trick
of living in a mixed gender group yet (an unfortunate fact the rest of us have
to deal with).   be wary of what you say/write and to whom (regardless of your
or their gender) as all the people have to judge you on is your post/response.
	there are ways, quite legal, to deal quite effectively with harassment
situations.  examine your post or replies.  if you are satisfied that you are
reasonably blameless, collect your notes and posts, and any mail from the
harasser, and save them in a file.  as your systems administrator what you can
do, or the best way to procede.  another thing is to send a note to his/her 
sysadmin, (usually the staff or postmaster@the.home.machine of the harasser),
along with a copy of the posts.  this usually will have the desired effect.
if, unfortunately, you have to take it further, talk with your sysadmin, as to
what s/he suggests is the best form of legal action to persue.  always start
with a polite, yet firm request that s/he discontinue all further
communications.

> other questions:
why isn't there a soc.personals?
     every so often, there is a proposal and then a vote on splitting the
alt.personals groups into categories, but the votes have so far failed.  there
is currently no proposal on the discussion table for creation of a
soc.personals, so you all just have to get along.

where can I go to find help about USENET?
     try news.announce.newusers for helpful posts about the USENET system.



History of Alt.personals FAQ:
original: 25-May.92(rON. blowfish@carina.unm.edu)
update  : 02-Jun.92(rON. blowfish@carina.unm.edu)
admin passed on 02-Jun.92 to (doug. doug@eng.umd.edu)
revised 92-11-10(doug. doug@eng.umd.edu) 


	this has been a public service message.....
	and, as always, i am/at:

             doug:  < doug@eng.umd.edu > : < doug@lpf.umd.edu >

           -=-=-=-=-=-=-< a ghost in the machine >--=-=-=-=-=-=-

           "now, as we drift a little further down the stream,
                was it all, what it seemed?
            was it true, was it real, or, just a dream?
                when you wake up you may find
            that you're not where you left yourself!"

                         justin hayward/john lodge: the blue jays
Xref: sparky alt.personals:21978 soc.penpals:3638