X-Delivery-Notice:  SMTP MAIL FROM does not correspond to sender.
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.seds-l
Date:         Sun, 10 Jan 1993 13:53:35 EST
From:         DJKALMAN@COLOSPGS.BITNET
Subject:      CBL PART 9 (final part)

FINAL COMMENTS ON MY CHRISTMAS BITCH LIST

As many of you may know, I tend to let things slide, and I build up my anger
and internalize it, until I am ready to blow.  Normally, I will quietly sit by
and observe thing until the point when I can stand it no more, and I have to
release it.  Then , I find time to post and get it out of my system.

This is no exception .... many of you read my posting this spring, which was
quite similar, if not as harshly worded.  I do not normally have the
opportunity to send a plethora of messages to SEDS-L, so I tend to send one be
long message, covering everything and anything.

See how SEDS US has been going, I felt that I must address the problems as I
see them.  SEDS can not continue on its present course.  I have dedicated
myself to SEDS's cause.

After much internal debate, i felt that i could no longer remain neutral and
nice, and polite, just to protect feelings.  I concluded that at this time, if
need be, I had to be willing to sacrifice the friendship of some of the
national board, in order to keep SEDS alive ... otherwise irreparable harm
would come to this organization.

I have been harsh to many people.  I hope that these people do not take this as
a personal attack ... I still respect every national board member, especially
Lisa, to whom I have been the harshest.  I though hard about the general
phrasing and mood of this message ... and felt that this is the best way of
communicating the dire straight SEDS finds itself in.  I hope that I can still
be friends, or at least respected business associates, of everyone, after they
are done reading this message.

At different points in our lives, we must decide exactly how we stand, and act,
despite any consequences.  This is one such time for me.  I could have quietly
faded out of the scene, and let UCCS SEDS just die, but my honor would not let
me, and I do care about space.  Maybe if I had posted during the semester,
things would not have gotten so bad.  Maybe I am so paranoid that I am
over-exaggerating the problems.  I hope this is so, but I fear that it is not.

When I dedicate myself to a task, I do so whole heartedly, and little will stop
me.  I honestly believe everything I have written here is for the good of SEDS,
even if it means revealing the ugly truths concerning SEDS.  I admit that there
is more I should have done myself, and more that I can do;  no one individual
is to blame, and every board member can improve on their performance.  I hope
my suggestions may refocus attention on events, and provide a springboard to
corrections.

I wrote the communication bitches on the Sunday before finals (and I was having
some other communication problems with people from CSM that weekend, so this
was extremely poignant).  I spent the entire day of Dec. 23rd writing parts
2-6, and the entire evening of Dec. 24th writing these last three sections.  I
hope that I have put enough humor in this document to make sure it is not too
depressing, but is still vibrant and forceful.  To me, the season of Hanukkah
and Christmas is not all parties, but I time to be introspective, and to
rededicate ourselves to God and our other duties, and to try to be the best we
can be.  It is time to spend with ones we love, enjoying the things we love
(including space), and planning ahead.

I know most people will not read this until after Jan. 15th, but the general
ideas still apply.  Anyone can change, if their heart is willing, and it does
not take a religious holidays to see what one's heart truly desires.  Many
people (our parents, our martyrs/saints, are war heroes) have sacrificed
greatly to help us, and now it is our turn to sacrifice part of ourselves in
order to better all of humanity.  SEDS is but one way we can all do this, and
thus insure the better future of all of mankind.

David Kalman
12/24/92  10:25 PM


PS.  As I stated at the beginning, please post responses to the L, for all to
see and consider.  Strictly personal comments can be sent to:

djkalman@happy.uccs.edu

I did not have a great deal of time to proof read this, so please excuse the
typos ... writing 20 pages of heart-felt words in one days is not an easy task.

Ad Astra, and a Happy New Year
Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU