From: cocoa@netcom.com
Subject: Most expensive meal of my life (was: Re: Picking up the Tab)
Organization: Bourbon Street
Distribution: na 
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 07:27:09 GMT

In article <4c0H03vfc4M800@amdahl.uts.amdahl.com> jsp@pls.amdahl.com writes:
>gds@york.cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
>
>}When I ask someone out, I expect to pay, but I appreciate it when they
>}offer to pay part or all of their way, or leave the tip.  
>
>Another difference in attitude.  It actually bothers me *a lot* when
>someone I take out on a date offers to leave the tip (or, actually I
>should say that it *would* bother me if it happened; thankfully, it
>hasn't yet.  Is this "You get the bill and I'll get the tip" deal
>something new for the nineties that I should expect to encounter when
>I get back into dating?  Frankly, I'd never even heard of that way of
>splitting the cost until this thread.)  And it's not because the tip is 
>so much less than the bill.  Perhaps I'm just hopelessly antiquated, but 
>if I'm treating someone to dinner, I really prefer that they not know how 
>much I'm spending.  To me, it's the same reason that makes most people 
>remove the price tag from Christmas presents.  And for the woman to leave 
>the tip, she kind of has to know the final bill.  By the same token, I
>might add, if someone is treating me, I would never even consider
>offering to leave the tip; it would seem downright rude, almost like
>I was trying to underhandedly find out how much they spent on me.

Having one person pay the bill and another pay the tip, in my experience
is something that is most commonly done between "good friends [tm]" and
SOs who have been dating for a while (i.e. no longer in the "courtship"
stage of a relationship.)  A female friend of mine used to give me a
few dollars when I paid for both our meals.  The reason for it was that
she was a poor student and I was a working woman with a job.  Of course
I could have not gone out with my friend, but that would be boring.
Similarly, a friend of mine who makes 2-3 times my salary (guestimate)
often pays for the major part of the bill when we go out, because he feels
he can afford to do so.

But back to the original title of our post ... the most expensive meal of
my life.  A very nice friend of mine took me to the Bahamas once, courtesy
of his frequent flyer points.  We split hotel costs down the middle and 
treated each other to alternate meals.  While we were there, he managed to
win several hundred dollars gambling in the casino.  And being the sweetie
that he is, he treated me to the meal of my life at a very expensive
restaurant.  We had three people waiting on us, and finshed our evening
with souffles for desert.  I tried to sneak a peek at the bill, but it was
quickly snatched away.  He acted a little bit insulted by my wanting to
see it (mostly just playing though), and would definitely have been insulted
if I'd offered to pay any of it.

Our return trip was made in haste, and I somehow managed to end up with the
charge card receipt for dinner.  It was a grand total of $250, including tip.
If I'd know how much dinner was going to cost, I probably would never have
accepted.  And If I'd seen the bill after dinner, I would have felt horribly
guily at having eaten $150 dollars-worth of food while poor children starve
in africa.  But finding out weeks later, just makes it a special experience,
and a great memory.

Just me,

little 'e'

(And I didn't even *have* to have sex with him :)


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