From: yamauchi@cs.rochester.edu (Brian Yamauchi)
Subject: Re: Asking someone his "nationality" (Today's "Dear Abby")
Organization: University of Rochester
	<1992Jul20.213333.3225@u.washington.edu>
	<1992Jul21.184118.951@mumbo.apple.com>
	<1992Jul21.202036.19814@rice.edu> <24808@dog.ee.lbl.gov>
	<1992Jul23.072717.17394@oakhill.sps.mot.com>
Distribution: na
Date: 23 Jul 92 20:11:29

In article <1992Jul23.072717.17394@oakhill.sps.mot.com> jpak@oakhill.sps.mot.com (Jim Pak) writes:
>I really feel that a lot of times, the question "Where are you from?" directed
>to an AA person is just a lazy way of asking "What's your ethnicity?"

And a lot of times, it means "Where are you from?"

>OK,
>so those people who ask aren't the most semantically correct people in the
>world?  So what?  If they ask *POLITELY*, why not tell them our ethnicity?

Because it reinforces the misconception that those of Asian descent
must be "foreigners" from "somewhere else".  Besides, I'd rather give
the benefit of the doubt to the smart and curious than to the stupid
and lazy...

>Should we give that complete stranger a lecture instead on their "racist" ways?

Not at all -- we should answer the question they asked, not the
question we think they might have asked.

>If the thought of mentioning your ethnicity
>to a curious stranger is truly offensive to you, then just simply say, "I'd
>rather not discuss my ethnicity."  Then, if they really meant where you came
>from rather than your ethnicity, the stranger will simply say something like,
>"Oh, I didn't mean your ethnicity; I really wanted to know where you came
>from", and then you can tell them (unless you don't want to tell them that,
>either).  But to be purposefully coy doesn't serve much purpose, IMO.

This is an amazingly perverse way to answer a question. :-) It forces
people who were being clear to restate the obvious.

It doesn't bother me at all to discuss my ethnicity.  It bothers me
when people make prejudiced assumptions about my nationality...

However, the question "Where are you from?" doesn't offend me at all
-- because I've found that it almost always means "Where are you
from?"

Perhaps it's a result of living my adult life in environments
(universities, Los Angeles, Florida) where the majority of the
population has come from other parts of the country, but I have rarely
encountered a hidden agenda in this question.

I answer, "Ohio".  I've had far more people respond with "I'm from
Ohio too," than "No, where are you really from?"

>And why assume (unless they ask it like an asshole,
>in which case they deserve to get nailed by you) that non-Asians think you're
>not Real Americans[tm], rather than the simpler assumption that they know
>you're American too and meant to ask about your ethnicity but were simply too
>careless to phrase the question precisely?

Why not make the even simpler assumption that they want to know where
you're from?  If they want to know your ethnicity, they can always
ask.

>And in fact, this exact situation happened to me just last winter.  I was
>in a taxicab, the driver was White/Hispanic-looking and spoke with a thick
>accent, and he asked me where I was from.  I simply answered that I'm from
>Texas, but that I was born in South Korea.

Since you were born in South Korea, you can reasonably say you are
from South Korea.  (In the same way that I can say I'm from New
Jersey, even though my family moved when I was three...)  But later
generation immigrants don't have these ties.

>And although I didn't have the nerve to ask
>her, somebody else did, and she answered in the most graceful way that she
>was "Chinese-American," and that her mother was originally from Taiwan.  OK,
>she didn't get asked where she was from; she got asked point-blank about her
>ethnicity.

Which is the sensible way to ask...

>But if you don't, like Huy said, why not be polite instead of coy?

Why not answer the question they asked?  (In an open, non-hostile manner.)

This has three benefits:

1) If the person is asking the question they want to ask, you haven't
insulted them by underestimating their intelligence.

2) If the person is reasonable but being unclear, then they _won't_ be
irritated and will instead continue the conversation -- asking about
ethnicity if they're really interested.

3) If the person asking is stupid and/or racist, it will become
immediately obvious -- because they _will_ be irritated, and you can
avoid wasting your time talking to them.

The vast majority of people I've encountered fall into categories (1)
and (2).

>You're
>not ashamed of your ethnicity, are you?  :-)

Not at all -- just proud of my nationality.  You aren't ashamed of
yours, are you? :-)
--
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Brian Yamauchi				Robotics Applications Development
					Boeing Aerospace Operations
yamauchi@cs.rochester.edu		Kennedy Space Center
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