HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: gypsy@alembic.acs.com (hippolyte)
Subject: one
Organization: the church of the latter-day polish amazons
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 06:48:13 GMT



ever since i saw the first video that came out for
u2's song "one" -- the one with the buffalo -- i
have been unable to hear the song without laughing
uproariously.  in my head, the lyrics always come
out "two buffalos, tonight, too big, i hope that
they don't bite" and "are you busy playing tuba
for the bison in your head"

m
-- 
"...at night they lurk outside the tall barrier staring with curious
 wild eyes into the flat field, feeling cheated." -- Beryl Markham
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ajd@itl.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Subject: This is exactly what you would be expecting me to do:
Organization: Thehiobnkg
Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1992 21:20:01 GMT


I am spending this sunday afternoon painting a birdcage.


AjD
and then i will put grinch and finch#2 in it.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu (Jeff Davidson)
Subject: latent fears
Keywords: yyeeeeeaaaaahhhh!!!!
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 13:39:20 GMT

Distribution: world


I still have a few bogey men fears left from my childhood. While cabling up a  
lab for ethernet yesterday, I found myself on a ladder, head up in the false  
ceiling, arm into a hole in the wall up to the armpit, trying to reach the  
cable for this bench. I suddenly had the irrational fear that something in  
there was straining to reach my hand and munch down on it.



--
************************************************************************
 the Lost Cause                       jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
(hardwaire guy extraordinaire)       MACTech,NeXTtech; NeXTmail accepted
                      "Everything is relative."
************************************************************************
(almost afraid to see any followups on this one)
From: sho@gibbs.physics.purdue.edu (Sho Kuwamoto)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: the GOP convention
Date: 18 Aug 92 18:06:19 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Physics Department

I was leaving work yesterday (8pm-ish) when a security guard
waves me over.  (Uh, oh... What does he want? Hope he just
wants to check my badge)

"You know," he says, pointing to the TV in his security
booth, "these Republicans are really pissing me off...  All
they talk about is how bad the Democrats are.  If that's the
only platform they have to stand on..."

"Yes?" I ask.

"Why... I wouldn't vote for Bush if he kissed my dick."

Thank you.  Thank you for sharing that with me, Mr. Security Guard.

-Sho
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra)
Subject: Re: The wages of Stupidity are Death
Organization: t.b
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 18:26:08 GMT

vail@tegra.COM (Johnathan Vail) inadvertently writes:
> Again, this time in big letters and quotes:
> 
>  "POSTING TO USENET IS JUST A TOOL FOR MORE QUICKLY
>   EXPOSING THE STUPIDITY OF MAN."
> 
> Q. E. fucking D.


--Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
                        {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
                                          ^---------------The Wrong Choice
                             internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,uk.telecom
From: nigel@cotswold.demon.co.uk (Nigel Roles)
Subject: Re: Obscure and ridiculous fact Number Two (was: National Co
Distribution: world
Organization: Interconnect
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 10:31:17 +0000


In article <7184@skye.ed.ac.uk> ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson) writes:

> -- Ken "historian" Johnson         <--  Anybody know of anyone born in 1343 and
>                                         dying in 6331?
> 
Not yet.
From: sjhancoc@teaching.cs.adelaide.edu.au (Steve J Hancock)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: annoyance +1
Date: 22 Aug 92 23:24:14 GMT

what I think Sho Kuwamoto and Starcap'n Ra are trying to say Mr Heim is

"GO AWAY AND STOP BOTHERING ME"

take the hint and give it up !

                                                        Steve.
--
|               Steven Hancock  (<:->|<-:>)    <aka Gigan>                    |
|---------------   sjhancoc@teaching.cs.adelaide.edu.au   --------------------|
|               The impossible is not as hard as it seems.                    |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: spz@specklec.mpifr-bonn.mpg.de (S.P.Zeidler)
Subject: Re: Hope me helped
Organization: Max-Planck-Institut f"ur Radioastronomie
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 22:53:22 GMT

In <lz#n3_n.rdc@netcom.com> rdc@netcom.com (Roger David Carasso) writes:
>IN SOC.CULTURE.GERMAN 
>zxmkr08@mailserv.zdv.uni-tuebingen.de (Cornelius Krasel) writes:
>)I worked there in the Max-Planck-Institute for Biochemistry for a year;
>)it was real fun!
>I've heard the work at the Max Planck's Institute is very constant.
Constant ? Well, there's still that nasty 50Hz sneaking in from the
power lines, but we are working on that ...

regards,
	spz
-- 
        spz is S.Petra Zeidler  Copyright 1992 S.Petra Zeidler
spz@specklec.mpifr-bonn.mpg.de  
 MPI fuer Radioastronomie Bonn  
    Auf dem Huegel 69, Germany  reading prescription: cum kilo salis
From: tomf@ai.bunny.gte.com (Tom Fawcett)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Homework Assignment: 4 Words
Date: 18 Aug 92 23:40:53 GMT
	<Bt2tqL.JpI@news.larc.nasa.gov>
Reply-To: tomf@gte.com
Organization: GTE Laboratories Inc.
In-reply-to: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov's message of 16 Aug 92 12:37:33 GMT

> >
> >5150
> 
> Isn't that the model number of an obsolete IBM machine?
> --scott

Close.  It's an obsolete card punch that IBM used to make.
It had a completely automatic mode that was amazing.
We used to make hollerith jack o'lanterns.

There's some Van Halen album that has a picture of the old 5150 on the cover,
kind of watermarked or something.  If you look really close you can see it.

-Tom
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.humor,alt.sex,alt.butt.harp
From: haushalt@research.nj.nec.com (Robert C. Haushalter)
Subject: Actually, everything is more complicated
Originator: haushalt@research.nj.nec.com
Organization: NEC Research Institute
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 92 01:55:26 GMT


-- 

	   Robert Haushalter
	   Voice: 609-951-2634
	   Fax: 609-951-2483
From: steve@celia.UUCP (Steve Tyree)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: While we're on the subject: Tactical nuclear weapon wanted
Date: 20 Aug 92 18:57:10 GMT
Reply-To: celia!steve@usc.edu (Steve Tyree)
Distribution: na
Organization: Rhythm & Hues, Inc., Hollywood

In article <4706@news.duke.edu> eyc@acpub.duke.edu (EMIL CHUCK) writes:
>
>While we're on the subject, this was a quote from an interview from an
>interview Bill Clinton had with Tom Brokaw:
>	(taken from the Washington _Post_)

 Tom Brokaw was on CSPAN recently and described the Republican movement
from Goldwater through Reagan and up to today as

    "The Republican Revolution"
 
 I wonder why Brokaw called it a revolution ?  Was he comparing this 
 revolution with the revolution occuring in the statist communist
 countries ? Could he be saying we are revolting away from the Network
 of Elites ?

 Steve Tyree - These opinions are mine and mine alone.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net)
Subject: Re: BEST IN BED
Organization: Computing Something Division
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 02:05:37 GMT

In article <t6!nq#_.chaos@netcom.com> chaos@netcom.com (chaos) writes:
>although it might be a good idea to leave stormwind out of this discussion


hm. stormwind.  That throws a whole new dimension on the curve.
-- 
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.   \  (414)CRUSH-13
T. Flynn's Casa de Interesting: 1755 N Cambridge Ave #306 Milwaukee WI 53202    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: May we have 4'33" of silence please?
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 00:13:01 GMT

In article <BsxD2v.GI3@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>, fulton@copper.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton) writes:
> John Cage: dead at 79.
>
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: My 100-word/4-word challenge
Date: 17 Aug 92 11:23:27 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


Write a 100-word story which ends with the four words `not sleeping only
dead' in that order (but punctuated anyhow). 

-- Ken "facilitator" Johnson


-- 
////  By reading this article     ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////  you accept any and all      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////  challenges herein described ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Perry Mason  ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
From: rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (Michael A. Rigler)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Wishing
Date: 22 Aug 92 02:50:35 GMT
Organization: Sex, Cheese and Rock 'n' Roll

Mark Schnitzius writes:
>I was going to include a list of other topics that you'd miss out on that 
>include the "oe", but that would be too damn obvious.  Let's consider this 
>a newbie trap like the "naked GIF of your sister" hubbub and see who falls
>for it.

You've got a naked GIF of my sister?  Can I get a copy?

THIS WAS TEST OF THE EMERGENCY NEWBIE DETECTION SYSTEM.  THIS WAS ONLY A TEST.
IF I HAD BEEN AN ACTUAL NEWBIE, I WOULD HAVE NOT HAVE STOPPED THERE.  OH NO.
I WOULD HAVE GONE ON TO ASK  "Does she have big hOOters?" OR "Is there an
anonymous ftp site for sister GIFs?"  BUT I'M NOT.  AGAIN, THIS IS ONLY A TEST.

--
Rigler                       "Tremble and urinate before me."
                                                    --Ken Johnson
                                                      (copyright 1991)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams)
Subject: ss consideration
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 01:35:14 GMT

today, I unsubscribed to t.b

yesterday, I caught myself thinking about
buying a television.

the day before, I gave a lot of thought
to the imperial palace in kyoto.

--
"two weeks ago, in tokyo..."

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rdc@netcom.com (Roger David Carasso)
Subject: Re: Any married women out there?
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 01:27:15 GMT
Organization: 'Be at Peace, and Peace will be with you.'

IN ALT.PERSONALS bz175@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Tony Cardon) writes:
)
)Married white male seeking to correspond with lonely or unstatisfied married
)women...  Come on, bring out the wild woman in you and let's have some fun!

$10 + PHONE CALL COSTS to the first person to:

	1) call the operator get the area code for cleveland
	2) call 1-XXX-555-1212 (where XXX is the area code).
	3) get the home phone number for Tony Cardon
	4) Call his wife and read teh posting to her.


match-maker,
match-maker,
make him a dream.

.
-- 
____________________________________________________________
___________________________ If you'd like my phone number,
Roger David Carasso,        please me ask and I will give it,
Celebrity                   so that we may talk about life.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jrobbins@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (Jason Robbins)
Subject: flushing party
Originator: jrobbins@oahu.cs.ucla.edu
Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 92 21:16:24 GMT

At UCLA the engineering society (our student orginazation) is going to
lose its office very soon, which looks very bad for the organization.
In order to say goodbye to our memorable stay in our current fabulous
two level lounge we are organizing a party with an under the sea
theme.  Our current lounge has a large round hole between its two
floors which gives it an observation balcony kind of feel. The
"Vortex" is the organizations informal symbol. SEAS is the School of
Engineering and Applied Science. The following is my bizarre reply to
a mail message about the decorations needed to set the mood:

  Maybe we could hang streamers from the round hole and have them in a
spiral shape in order to produce a whirlpool/vortex effect. It would
be even better if they could meet in the center of the dance floor in
a may-pole arrangement.

  Or pushing that same idea to absurdity/obsencity: lets have the
swirling hole represent the SEAS administration flushing us down the
tolet! The upper floor could be the tank with a big blue bean bag to
represent the cleaner chemical packet. We would of course need a giant
handle which we could take pictures of people flushing (maybe we could
invite the deans for a photo-op!). This would have the added advantage
that we can use the photos to explain to future generations what
happened to our student lounge.

  Just to continue the anology, the hallways of good old Boelter Hall
would be the sewer, we should put out giant stuffed rats. We should
all piss in the hallways since smell is such a strong mood setter, of
course pissing on the deans might make a good photo-op, but the
analogy would be more realistic if they were to piss on us.
Eventually, when our party at the lounge breaks up, we can all regroup
for night swimming in Santa Monica bay!

  Of course, our between song and band break music should include a
flushing sound effect (or something much worse) and the laser light
show should include a giant hand/arm reaching from east to west on the
ceiling over the "bowl" (or something much, much worse).  I will leave
it up to minds less creative than mine to plan the snacks and drinks.

-jason
From: andsol@owlnet.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: L'Avant-Garde
Date: 20 Aug 1992 04:22:59 GMT
Organization: Rice University

In article <1992Aug19.174747.5389@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>, rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
|> 
|> Waaaaaaveeeey           virtual reality forces us to think about what is reali-
|>       Da Smurfs    yes, fred flintsone is really choas@netcom.com
|>   greetingf from the planet X yes X
|> 
|> ARTARTARRTARTARTARTARTARTARTARTART
|> 
|>    Davvvveeeeeeyyyyy
|> 
|> when john cage died i cried prepared tears
|>      tru art forces us to think about what tuna-fish really is
|> satan=Jerry fallwell
|> jerry fallwell=jerry garcia
|> 
|>                        why?!~?!
|>      why not?                         why not?
|> 
|> 

rob  :

    I KNEW e e cummings

    i 
      BLEW 
           e
             e
               cummings

          i ATE e e cummings

and  U ain't no E
                             E
                   cummings

Yrs. Truly,
Andrew Solberg          |"If I were your wife I'd poison your tea!" 
Undying University Mooch|              Anon. Outraged British Woman
andsol@owlnet.rice.edu  |"And if I were your husband I'd drink it!"
Phone:713-529-8627      |              Winston Churchill
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: On Go
Date: 18 Aug 92 09:49:07 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper


which is haiku, 
and which is mere play?
a stone laid.



ciao
drieux


-- 
I Do Not Believe in .sig files
as they are such a Known Waste Of BandWidth,
And Therefore Not a Morally UpRight Choice.
But I Can See the HideousHienousHandOfHeteroSexualityBehindItAll.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com (J H Woodyatt)
Subject: Close To The Edge (100 Words)
Reply-To: bard@cutter.ssd.loral.com
Organization: Abiogenesis 4 Less
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 06:24:45 GMT

I crank the delay up, but I'm already too close to the edge. Hard
to tell which is the musician and which is the instrument here. The
tympanics are all tweaked for varying degrees of bass, because I can
get rhythm out of the sampled insect sounds, but the analog is
completely out of control. Any second the whole fabric is going to rip
and there'll be nothing left. I can hear the bitch whispering to me
too: `Go on. Reach for the acoustic. You know you want to.' The
Martin. She knows I can't resist temptation. I could once.

-- 
J H Woodyatt (a.k.a. Dr. Strychnine)
Space Systems/Loral

"So I've got my eye on you, punk, because I - let's face it - am the
Sole Representative of Law and Justice, nay civilization itself, in
this MY GOD NO.... BASTARDO!  you did it, that's the end, you've
doomed us all..."
                           -- Curtis Yarvin (impersonating Raoul Duke)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov ( Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: George Herbert Walker Bush is from a Planet far far away
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 17:26:39 GMT

In article <1992Aug14.160124.2552@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
>
>I just heard it from my source, who is beaming down radio waves of pleasant
>healing frequencies as well as extensive information and news from the star
>A-13 (as they call it) which is in the constellation Cygnus to us here on
>earth. Anyway, he confides to me that George Bush is an alien, he came here
>after being exiled from A-13. He is a reckless egomaniac, and plans to 
>destroy earth and enslave the entire milky way galaxy.

That's not a star in the constellation Cygnus, that's National Public Radio,
coming to you from Washington DC over your local NPR affiliate.
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bmo1@ra.msstate.edu (Brennan "CrayDeath" O'Keefe)
Subject: Re: English usage
Organization: Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 04:14:55 GMT

Bunu Yazan Tosun (byt@duvar.yazisi.oku) writes:

:Don't you guys have anything else to do?  I mean I started reading
:this group a week ago, and all you people seem to do  is make fun of
:people who haven't as much experience as you.

Yeah, you're right.  Newbies manage to make fun of themselves well enough
as is.
-- 
CrayDeath                     | 
mka Brennan M. O'Keefe        |      This mind intentionally left blank.
internet: bmo1@ra.msstate.edu |
From: rone@alcor.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Non-Existence of Existence (and God,too).
Date: 16 Aug 1992 15:11:05 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: alcor.usc.edu

In article <4048@novavax.UUCP> mitch@novavax.nova.edu (Mitch Silverman) writes:
>In article <1992Aug6.045734.13893@athena.cs.uga.edu> milliken@athena.cs.uga.edu (Brewmeister) writes:
>[500 or so lines of good quotations, deleted]
>I don't know what the fuck that was intended to be... but rest assured, it
>doesn't go appreciated.  I'll download it later, and save it to my
>aphorism collection.  Thanks!

Just don't run your spell checker on it.

5150
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.smouldering.dog.zone
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Der Blinker")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: is this a mid-life crisis?
Date: 21 Aug 92 21:55:21 GMT
	<1992Aug21.023116.21871@uwm.edu>
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu's message of 21 Aug 92 02:31:16 GMT

In article <1992Aug21.023116.21871@uwm.edu> terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net) writes:
>   heh. this is rather humourous, as the guy i tossed my virginity at vowed to

I didn't think that St. Teresa of the Net ever HAD a virginity.

--

                And for to see, and eke for to be seye
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: vail@tegra.COM (Johnathan Vail)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: LSD: the early days
Date: 14 Aug 92 14:17:49 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test
Organization: Tegra, Inc., Billerica, MA
In-reply-to: heim@vms.macc.wisc.edu's message of 13 Aug 92 19:52:52 GMT



In article <1992Aug13.175502.16940@macc.wisc.edu> heim@vms.macc.wisc.edu (JOHN HEIM	) writes:

   In article <l8k97eINNdpm@alcor.usc.edu>, rone@alcor.usc.edu (Ron Echeverri) writes...

   >anagram THIS, Polewka

   I'm not Polewka but if I may...

   THIS anagrams:
   --------------
   HIS T
   'TIS H

   and of course...

   SHIT

Here are some really good ones:

GOD:
----
DOG (xtans don't flame me!!!!!!111)

ART:
---
RAT
TAR
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Subject: Theyre on to us!@!@!
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1992 16:08:30 GMT


Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat
From: diana@wetware.com (CatWoman )
Subject: Re: Monthly warning (was Re: Drivers from Hell)
Organization: Castle WetWare MouseCatcher



] >Second - if someone posts something completely off the wall -
] >especially if the newsgroups line also has either alt.flame,
] >talk.bizarre, or one of a number of the groups who don't care for our
] >style - IGNORE IT!


O NO!@!@@ THEY HAVE FOUND US OUT!!! I GUESS THOSE ROMANCE CHATTERS ARE
JUST TOO SMART FOR US!#@@!@

ps drieux likes to post to a.r.c., no shit.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk (Wavey Davey)
Subject: Interesting                             
Cc: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk
Reply-To: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1992 01:27:22 +0000


A conversation:

Wavey Davey >  I am so drunk I just had sex with the toilet.

Lawny >        Did you fill it?

Wavey Davey > Toilets don't have bones.




                    -------------------------------------
                    -  There is only one Wavey Davey    -
                    -                                   -
                    -      Ooh yeah, bang bang          -
                    -         Sex on Wheels             -
                    -------------------------------------
                    -       49% SON OF A BITCH          -
                    -        51% MOTHERFUCKER           -
                    -------------------------------------
                    -   M-O-O-N that spells Norman      -
                    -------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: boulder blues
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 92 00:34:31 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

I am in Boulder, Colorado.

I am looking for an apartment.

I used to love this town, weird though it is.  {I am told that "Mork and
Mindy" was set here.  That seems suitable.)

Now I believe that it should be nuked until it glows.

Mark., too many slimy apartment agents here have gotten me peeved
gooley@netcom.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk (Wavey Davey)
Subject: Elvis is (2).......                     
Cc: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk
Reply-To: dwindera@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 19:47:20 +0000


Elvis is............

NOT AVAILABLE TO TOUR AT THE MOMENT



                    -------------------------------------
                    -  There is only one Wavey Davey    -
                    -                                   -
                    -      Ooh yeah, bang bang          -
                    -         Sex on Wheels             -
                    -------------------------------------
                    -       49% SON OF A BITCH          -
                    -        51% MOTHERFUCKER           -
                    -------------------------------------
                    -   M-O-O-N that spells Norman      -
                    -------------------------------------