From: torsten@cwis.unomaha.edu (Torsten Wesley Adair)
Subject: Re: [9F04] Treehouse of Horror III
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 06:55:45 GMT

Not really.  The 600's are technology.  Occult would either be in the zeroes 
with Big Foot and UFOs, or in the 200s, under religion.

>     ... in Barney's two cameos he *didn't* burp?  {jjw}
> ==============================================================================
> > Popular References
> ==============================================================================
>       Alfred Hitchcock Presents..
>     + A Clockwork Orange
>         - Bart's Costume.
>       Gremlins
>         - the toy shop where Homer buys the Krusty doll.  {kw}

Actually, Gremlins itself is chock full of references.  I think the shop
 refers to a short story about a store that appears out of nowhere, sells 
somebody something very hazardous, and then disappears.  

>     ~ Mystery Science Theater 3000
>         - ``It's evil!  Eviiiiiiiiiiiil!''  (Where have we heard that line
>           before?)  {jjc}
>     + The Twilight Zone: Living Doll
>         - ``My name is Krusty, and I love you very much.'' ..and..
>           ``I'm Krusty the Klown and I don't like you.'' (to Homer)  {jjw}
>       Trilogy of Terror: Prey
>         - Krusty clambering over the edge of the couch with a knife, his
>           maniacal grin revealing triangular teeth.  {ct}
>         - the bathtub scene with Homer.  {ct}

Don't forget Moby Dick.

>         - Homer's ill-fated attempt to get rid of the doll by locking it
>           inside a suitcase.  {ct}
>       Psycho (with maybe a little `Jaws' thrown in..)
>         - the Shrill-String-Knife-Attack-Music(tm) when the Krusty doll
>           raised the knife.  {jw}
>       Love American Style
>         - Krusty with the Malibu Stacey doll -- the framing heart shape,
>           the cheesy music.  {tc}
>       Cape Fear
>         - Krusty belted to the bottom of the car.  (Robert De Niro used this
>           tactic to follow Nick Nolte's family in the remake.)  {pw,hot}
>   ~~~ IT  (stretched reference of the week award)
>         - ``Kiss me, fat boy!''  {dp}
>       Puppet Master
>     ? Ghostbusters
>         - ``Marge!  The doll is trying to kill me, and the toaster's been
>           laughin' at me!''  Rick Moranis?  {ns}
>       Child's Play
>         - Marge calling the toy manufacturer.  {de}

The Muzak on the phone was "Everybody Loves a CLown" (title?)

>       Escape (late 70s' pop hit by Rupert Holmes)
>         - In the personals section of the newspaper.  ("...pina coladas?
>           Getting caught in the rain? Come with me and escape. Box 203")  {ap}
>       SWF
>         - the personal ad below; `Help me escape the clutches of Death.' {jmg}
>    ++ King Kong
>         - Homer reaching into the building to grab Marge -- shot for shot.
>           {kw,jrd}
>       Michael Jackson's ``Thriller''
>         - Bart's hat in the cemetery.  {jw}
>       The Night of the Living Dead
>       Pet Cemetery
>       Plan 9 From Outer Space
>         - ``The Earthlings are totally incapable of handling the zombie
>           attack...''  {rc}
>         - The re-animation of corpses.  {rc}
>       Where's Waldo?
>       My Science Project  {mn}
>       The Tell-tale Heart (Edgar Allen Poe)
>         - in a jar.  {jw}
>       Terminator, Mad Max et al.
>         - The Homernator impassively welding the shotgun.  {dh}
>     ~ The Producers(?) (Mel Brooks)
>         - Principal Soccer's, err, Skinner's head being kicked around by
>           two zombies (``Ow!  Not the face!'' cf: the riot at the end of
>           the movie).
>       Sisyphus (ancient Greek mythology)
>         - ``You <still> pushin' that rock?!''
> >> Mosi Tatupu
> A brief career summary provided by (jpl10@duts.ccc.amdahl.com):
>     Mosi Tatupu was an all-state fullback in high school and then went on to
>     USC and was their premier running back in the late 70's.  Afterwards he
>     joined the NFL and was in the league for about 10 years, last playing
>     for the N.E Patriots.  He retired a couple of years ago.  Mosi Tatupu,
>     he being a native of Samoa, I guess sounds like a tribal phrase if your
>     not aware that it's actually someone's name.
> ==============================================================================
> > Lists
> ==============================================================================
> >> Gravestones during the introduction sequence
> {rc}
>         Drexel's Class  (an extinct programme that used to follow
>                          The Simpsons on the FOX network in the US.)
>         I'm with Stupid ==>
>         R. Buckminster Fuller (with geodesic dome)
>         Slapstick (freshly dug grave, still empty)
>         American Workmanship (which promptly falls apart; and shares a
>           passing resemblance to the collapsing `Taco Bell' monolith
>             from a commercial shown during The Simpsons in the USA. -jd)
> >> The opening credits
> {mb}
> 	Created by              Bat Groening
> 	Developed By            James Hell Brooks
> 	                        Matt Merchandising Groening
> 	                        Somewhat Shocking Sam Simon
> 	Executive Producers     Awful Al Jean
> 	                        Mirthless Mike Reiss
> 	Supervising Producers   Jay Karnage Kogen
> 	                        Weaselly Wally Wolodarsky
> 	Supervising Producer    Ghastly George Meyer
> 	Producers               Vicious Jack Vitti
>         	                Scary John Swartzwelder
>                 	        Jittery Jeff Martin
>                         	Creepy Conan O'Brien
> 	                        Unfriendly Frank Mula
>         	                Really Unruly Richard Raynis
> 	Produced By             Demonic David Silverman
> 	                        Rambling Richard Sakai
> 	Written By...
> 	(Clown without Pity)    Atrocious Al Jean
> 	                        Morbid Mike Reiss
> 	(King Homer)            Johnny Katastrophe Kogen
> 	                        Warped Wally Wolodarsky
> 	(Dial "Z" for Zombies)  Scarifying Sam Simon
> 	                        Vicious Jon Vitti
> 	Directed By             Bloodcurtling Carlos Baeza
> 
> >> Halloween Costumes
> {rc}
>         Homer    as Julius Gaius Caesar
>         Marge    as Cleopatra
>         Bart     as the malchik Alec from `A Clockwork Orange'
>         Lisa     as the Statue of (what) Liberty (means to me)
>         Milhouse as the Flash
>         Martin   as Calliope, muse of heroic poetry
> >> King Homer's luncheon menu
> {hot}
>         Lenny (who used to be one of Homer's co-workers in sector 7G.)
>         Smithers, soon after getting his salary raise from Burns.
>         Shirley Temple (impersonator?)

Looked like Martin to me.

>         Marge's father.
> >> Gravestones in the Pet Cemetery (Dial "Z" for Zombies)
> {rc}
>         Hamster in a exercise wheel
>         Lobster  [Eaten by Mistake]
>         Doggie tomb with a bone-shaped headstone
>         Fish Police (unsuccessful TV show)
>         Capitol Critters  (")
>         Family Dog  (")

All of these are animated programs.  The Family Dog was the only animated 
episode of Amazing Stories, and one of the first (and rare) showings of Tim
(Batman, Betelgeuse, Pee Wee's Big Adventure) Burton's animation (trained at
Disney).  It is available on videocassette, and rivals the Simpsons for
hilarity.  Rumor had it that it was to premier last Spring as a midseason
replacement, but to my knowledge it has not aired.  Anybody out there know
more?
> 
> >> Bart's incantations
>   Instant Zombies:
>         Collin - Rayburn - Nars - Trebek	(game show hosts)
>         Zabars - Kresge - Caldor - Walmart	(convenience stores)
>   SnailSpell:
>         Kolchak - Mannix - Banachek - Dano	(70s' TV detectives)
>   Zombie eradicator:
>         Trojan - Ramses - Magnum - Sheik	(prophylactics)
> ==============================================================================
> > Freeze-Frame Fun
> ==============================================================================
> ==============================================================================
> > Animation and continuity goofs
> ==============================================================================
>     ... the `Dick Cavett Born' news item featured a photo of the adult Dick
>         Cavett.  {jd}
>     ... Snowball died four years ago, but the gravestone lists 1990 as the
>         time of her death.  {jd}
> ==============================================================================
> > References to previous episodes
> ==============================================================================
>   [8F02]  The Monkey's paw.
>   [8F12]  Lisa's Malibu Stacey doll.
>      >> DYN that Malibu Stacey's moved out of her shoebox apartment into a
>         lovely new home?  I (jd) wonder if she's still putting out that
>         feminist newsletter on her little printing press. -jd
> ==============================================================================
> > Reviews
> ==============================================================================
> Dora Kilburn {dk}:  Okay, so it wasn't as side-splitting as last year's, but
>     it was still the best episode this season.  My favorite line had to be
>     when Bart was (politically) correcting Lisa that zombies prefer the term
>     'living impaired'.
> David Hyatt {dh2}:  Loved it, I laughed, I cried, etc.
>     The first of the three stories was definitely the best.  The Homer/Ape
>     story was a little less satisfying -- a lot of great weird stuff like
>     just randomly eating people, but the Homer/Ape wasn't developed well
>     enough.  Was he an ape who looked like Homer?  Or was he Homer, in the
>     body of an ape?  Not enough "ape-like Homerisms" to really round out
>     this big character.  Burns did an excellent job, though.
>     I didn't like the "Evil/Good" switch -- lame!  But the scenes of Krusty
>     with Malibu Stacey were pretty good.
>     Long live the maniacal laughing aliens!
> Joe St. Lucas {jsl}:  After watching the first two segments of the show, my
>     kids thought it should have been a Valentines' Day special -- too much
>     love stuff.  I thought the zombie part was as funny as could be, but the
>     kids said it sucked.  Their ages; 14 and 11.  Maybe we'll see it again
>     next February, heh?
> Mike Hammond {mh}:
>     I though it was kinda ironic that Einstein must walk the earth on search
>     of brains..
> [but not for the same reason you cited; Albert's brain was removed for
> examination on his death. -cjb]
> ==============================================================================
> > Comments and other observations
> ==============================================================================
> James Willer {jw}:  Has anyone else noticed that *every* song Homer has sung
>     this season has been featured in an inane commercial?
>         - Short Shorts (Nair) [9f01]
>         - Georgie Girl (Weight Watchers w/ Ms. Redgrave) [9f02]
>         - Oscar Mayer [9f04]
> Dave Hall {dh}:
>     The 2nd story breaks new ground in prime-time television by actually
>     showing a lead character (King Homer) *eat* several other characters!
> Mike Hammond {mh}:  In response to all those posts speculating if Springfield
>     is in Canada, this episode has now put those speculations to rest.  In
>     one of the skits (the one with the zombies), Bart presents a pre-school
>     alphabet book for his book report, and refers to the last letter of the
>     alphabet as ``zee''.  Well, as every good Canadian knows, the last
>     letter of the alphabet is pronounced ``zed''!  Thus Springfield can't be
>     in Can...wait a minute!  I know!
>     SPRINGFIELD IS IN WINDSOR!!
> ==============================================================================
> > Quotes and Scene summary
> ==============================================================================
> The disclaimer for this year's Halloween special is brought to us by Homer,
> imitating the distinctive outline of Alfred Hitchcock.
> Homer: Good evening.  I have been asked to tell you that the following show
>        is very scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares.  You
>        see, there are some *crybabies* out there (religious types mostly),
>        who might be offended.  If you are one of them I advise you to turn
>        off your set now.
> Homer dares us by flapping his arms and clucking like a chicken.  Someone
> in the television audience does. Marge speaks up from the darkness.
> Marge: Homer!  Did you just call everyone ``chicken''?
> Homer: Noooo.  I swear on this Bible!
> Marge: That's not a Bible; that's a book of carpet samples.
> Homer: Ooooh... fuzzy.
> The Simpson family host a Halloween costume party for Bart and Lisa's
> friends.  Homer descends the stairs, dressed in a toga.
> Homer: Behold mighty Caesar! [sheet catches on a nail]  In all his glory!
>        [kids laugh at the Emperor's new clothes]  D'oh!
> Nelson (dressed as a pirate) watches Martin tiptoe towards him.
> Martin: I am Calliope, the muse of heroic poetry!
> Nelson: No kiddin'!  [punches Martin]
> Bart ``Alec'' Simpson admits to his mother.
> Bart:  [English accent] Stupid party, wish we were trick or treat'n.
> Marge: Now Bart, you can find just as much horror around the house.
> Marge sits in the middle of the front room with a flashlight.  Lisa turns
> the lights out as Marge begins with a scary story about a witch who died
> horribly.  She passes food around to the children that represent parts of
> the witch's body.
> Bart:  Yo, Mom!  We haven't got the eyeballs yet.
> Marge: [aims the flashlight at Homer, who is eating the ghoulish snacks]
>        Homer, you're ruining it!
> Homer: Yeah, well... It was an evil game.
> Marge asks if there are any requests for a ghost story.  Lisa suggests
> ``A Boy and his Doll.''

Harlan Ellison reference?  (Boy and His Dog)  I think so! considering the 
other episode titles.

> Homer: That's not so scary.
> Lisa:  A doll...  From *Hell*!
> Homer: [scared] I'm gonna go to the store...
> Lisa:  [laughs evilly]
> == CLOWN WITHOUT PITY ==
> Bart thanks Grampa Abe Simpson for giving him lots of cash for his birthday.
> Marge wonders where Abe got the money from.
> Abe:   The Government.  I didn't earn it; I don't need it; but if they miss
>        one payment, I raise HELL!

Social Security, for the chronologically impaired.

> Bart:  Hey Homer, where's your present?
> Homer: D'oh!  I mean... *Don't* worry son, I forgot to get you a present.
>        But I swear on my father's grave--
> Abe:   Hey!
> Homer rushes off to the nearest convenient `House of Evil' (your one-stop
> Evil shop).  He asks the owner who appears out of the shadows if he sells
> toys.
> Owner: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread.
>        We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call ``Frogurt''!
> Homer tells the owner that he is looking for a birthday present for his 10
> year old son.  The owner hands to him a talking Krusty doll.
> Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
> Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.
> Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
> Homer: [relieved] That's good.
> Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
> Homer: [worried] That's bad.
> Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
> Homer: [relieved] That's good.
> Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
> Homer: [stares]
> Owner: That's bad.
> Homer: [worried] Can I go now?
> Bart and his friends use the front door to play `Pin the Tail on the
> Donkey'.  During Milhouse's turn Homer bursts in.

and crushes Milhouse between the wall and the door?

> Homer hands his delicately wrapped birthday present over to Bart, who
> immediately renders the packaging to shreds.  After testing the doll (``I'm
> Krusty the clown, and I love you very much.'')  Bart gives his father a hug
> and thanks him for the best birthday present he's ever received.  Abe has a
> different opinion.
> Abe:   [shouting] That doll is *evil*, I tells ya.  Evil!  Eeeeeeviilllll!
> Marge: Grandpa, you said that about all the presents.
> Abe:   [whines] I just want attention.
> Sitting on the couch with a large bowl of popcorn, Homer watches a Kent
> Brockman news report.
> Kent:  And in environmental news, scientists have announced that
>        Springfield's air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly.

Didn't Homer make a comment here?

> Homer starts to play with the talking Krusty doll sitting on the couch next
> to him.
> Doll:  I'm Krusty the clown and I don't like you.
> Homer: Heh heh heh heh.
> Doll:  I'm Krusty the clown and I'm going to *kill* you!
> Homer: Hee hee hee.  Didn't even pull the string that time.
> Doll:  I said I was going to kill you! [points finger] YOU!  Homer Simpson!
> Homer dismisses the doll over the side of the couch, but the doll reappears
> brandishing a large butchers knife.  Homer's screams; the rest of the family
> rush in from the kitchen.  Homer cowers at the opposite end of the couch
> from the doll.
> Marge: Homer, what's wrong?
> Homer: [pointing to the harmless doll]
>        That doll tried kill him!
> Bart:  I'd say the pressure has finally gotten to Dad, but what pressure?
> Homer's pleads go unheeded as his family leave him to be alone with the
> doll.  The doll approaches, laughing sinisterly until the pull-string ends.
> At the doll's request, Homer pulls the string and the the doll continues its
> sinister laugh.  Homer takes a bath.
> Homer: My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R.  My baloney has a second
>        name, it's H-O-M-E-R...
> The doll emerges out of the bath water, welding a miniature harpoon.  Homer
> screams and runs nude through the house; past Marge and her two sisters in
> the kitchen.
> Patty:  There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.
> Krusty chats up Lisa's Malibu Stacey doll.
> Krusty: Hey baby!  Get comfortable.  Relaaax.  It's a little hot for that
>         cheerleader outfit, don't you think?
> Homer enters Lisa's bedroom with a bag, rope, chains and a suitcase.  He
> grabs the doll and drops him in with bag of dirty socks and secures it in
> the suitcase.
> Krusty: You think your dirty socks can stop me?!
>         Well, they *are* making me... dizzy.  Ooooohhh..
> After locking the suitcase, Homer drops it down the Bottomless Pit (``Good
> byeeeee, Dolly.'')  A gangster bids arrivederci to a body bag and throws it
> down the hole.  Another man walks up to the edge of the pit and drops in a
> box of photos.
> Man: I was a fool to think that anyone would want nude photos of Whoopi
>      Goldberg. [pit rejects the photos]  What the--?
> Homer returns home and parks his car in the garage; unaware of the tiny
> passenger strapped to the car's underside.  Two tiny hands cover Homer's
> eyes has he enters the house.
> Doll:  Guess who, Fat boy!!
> Homer: [blinded, bumping around] Marge!  Marge!  Look!
> Marge: [from the kitchen] Oh, my God!
> Homer: [staggering into the kitchen] The doll's trying to kill me and the
>        toaster's been laughin' at me!
> Homers rolls around on the floor and dunks the doll's head in the dog dish
> (``Eeeew! Dog water!'').  Marge calls the number on the Krusty doll box
> (1-900-DON'T-SUE).
> Marge: Your doll is trying to kill my husband!  [pause] Yes, I'll hold.
> Marge lets the Krusty Co. repairman in the kitchen to see Homer on the floor

I think it's the living room.

> with the doll yanking at his tongue.  Picking up the doll, the repairman
> identifies the problem.
> Repair: [pointing to a switch on the back of the doll]  Yup.
>         Here's your problem; someone set this thing to ``evil''.
> Problem solved.  The repairman places the doll on Homer's chest, leaving it
> to confess its love for Homer.  Homer hugs the doll (``Come here, you.'')
> And soon the doll becomes a slave to Homer's every desire.  Homer blankly
> watches the TV as Krusty places a tray of food on the coffee table.
> Doll:  Here you go, buddy.
> Homer: Did you walk the dog?
> Doll:  Yeah, he buried me a couple of times.
> Homer: Yeah, dogs like to bury old junk.
> Doll:  Yeah. [sotto voce] You stupid jerk!
> At the end of the day the doll returns home to Malibu Stacey (in Lisa's doll
> house).
> Doll: Oooh, what a day.  Homer made me give him a sponge bath [shudders]
>       But coming home to you makes it all worth it.
> Stacey's head falls off when Krusty kisses her, but he immediately returns
> it to her shoulders.  With an arm around his partner, the doll is content.
> [End of Act One.]
> Shining a flashlight in his face, Homer bores everybody with his own lame
> attempt at story telling.
> Abe:   Homer!  I've coughed up scarier stuff than that!
> Bart:  Grandpa, why don't you tell us a story?  You've led an interesting life.
> Abe:   [resentfully] That's a lie and you know it!  But I have seen a *lot*
>        of movies...
> == KING HOMER ==
> It was a dark and foggy evening.  Marge approaches Mr. Burns and Smithers
> who stand waiting on a wharf.
> Marge: My name is Marge Bouvier; I'm here about your ad [in the newspaper
>        she is holding]: ``Single white female wanted for mysterious
>        expedition.  Must like monkeys.  Non-smoker preferred''.
> Burns: Well, you'd be a welcome change of pace from the rest of these crude
>        and uncouth sailors.
> On the dock, two of the crude and uncouth sailors (``Aaarrr!'') attempt to
> stare each other down.  Burns turns to Smithers.
> Burns:    What do you think, Smithers?
> Smithers: I think women and sea-men don't mix.
> Burns:    We *know* what you think! [to Marge] Young lady, you're hired.
>           [laughs sinisterly]
> At sea, Marge catches some rays while Karl, Lenny and Charlie admire the
> view from the ship's smokestack.
> Karl:    Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island.
> Lenny:   Yeah, to capture a giant ape.
> Karl:    I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
> Charlie: Candy Apple Island?  What do they got there?
> Karl:    Apes.  But they're not so big.
> Anchored off the shore of Ape Island, Captain Otto hears the natives chanting
> ``HOMER! HOMER! HOMER!''.  He asks Mr. Burns about it.
> Otto:  Hey, who's this ``Homer'' dude?
> Burns: He's either a 50-foot prehistoric ape, or a tourist trap concocted
>        by the Ape Island Jaycees.  Either way, we're going ashore.

For those of you who have not had the pleasure, the Jaycees (Junior Chamber of
Commerce) are an international organization based on community development and
having a good time.  A lot of fun!

> Marge: Am I going too?
> Burns: Of course.  We wouldn't think of going without the bait-- uhh, that
>        is, the bait-thing beauty.  The bathing beauty!
>        [to himself] Heh heh!  I covered that up pretty well.
> Standing before an awesome wooden gateway, the Chief notices Burns, Smithers
> and Marge hiding in the bushes while the other natives continue chanting.
> Chief: Mosi Tatupu!  Mosi Tatupu!
>        (translation: The Blue-haired woman will make a good sacrifice.)
> Marge: What's he saying?
> Burns: He's saying ``We wouldn't *dream* of sacrificing the blue-haired woman''
> Her kind comments are interrupted when the natives grab her, clothe her in
> their traditional sacrificial garments (i.e: skimpy clothing) and tie her
> between two pillars on the wrong side of the gates.
> Marge: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
> Summoned by a giant gong, King Homer calls off his battle with a dinosaur to
> investigate.  Marge screams some more when a giant face stares down at her
> from the treetops.  Nearby, Mr. Burns explains to Smithers the importance of
> the moment.
> Burns: Smithers, this is a golden opportunity!  If we can get him alive, we
>        can put him on Broadway!  Dead, we'll sell monkey stew to the Army!
> King Homer enjoys playing and smelling Marge's hair (much to her liking).
> Mr. Burns instructs his armed men in how to bring down a Homer.
> Burns: Now we don't want to kill him!  Shoot him around the groin and belly!
> King Homer only feels a mild stinging sensation from the rifle bullets, and
> is only mildly distracted when Lenny fires a Chemical-plant-sized cannon.
> After placing Marge safely in a tree, the aggravated ape drops Lenny into
> his mouth.
> Lenny: Hey Homer, cut it out!  Come on!  Quit eatin' me!
> Karl fires his rifle, hitting Lenny in the arm.
> Lenny: [sarcastically] Ow!  Nice shot, Karl!
> King Homer burps after swallowing Lenny.  Mr. Burns tries the sleeping gas.
> Burns: All right, you big ape... Get a snootful of this gas bomb!
> He feebly throws the bomb a foot and gets a snootful himself.  Smithers
> succeeds on the second attempt.
> Burns: Nice work, Smithers!  When we get back, I'm giving you a raise!
>        [King Homer swallows Smithers whole] Oh well...
> Homer is chained and shackled, and brought to Broadway with the `Chubbiest
> Kickline in Town'.  After dancing girls kick their way off stage, one of the
> many reporters asks Mr. Burns a question.
> Reporter: What kind of show do you got for us, Mr. Burns?
> Burns:    Well, the Ape's going to stand around for three hours or so,
>           then we'll close with the ethnic comedy of Duggan and Dirschwitz.
> Reporter: Sen-sational!
> Mr. Burns walks out before the audience.
> Burns: Ladies and gentlemen!  In his native land he was a King!  But he
>        comes before you in chains for your own amusement!  Presenting Homer!
>        The eighth wonder of the world!
> The curtains draw back, presenting a terrified Homer.  Barney (rudely) points
> his finger at the King, amazed at the size of Homer's platform.  Reporters
> start taking photographs; Marge senses the camera flashes are unsettling the
> giant beast.
> Marge: I think you're making him angry...
> Dave:  C'mon, what's he gonna do?  Run amok in downtown Springfield?
> Famous last words -- Homer breaks free of his bonds to scratch himself,
> squashing the reporter.  The screaming crowd scatter except for Barney, who
> courageously offers Homer a peanut; kicking the greedy ape for taking all of
> them.
> King Homer crashes through the wall into an adjoining theater, where Shirley
> Temple is performing.  Homer is briefly charmed by Shirley's singing and tap
> dancing before he swallows her whole.
> In the penthouse suite of the tallest building in Springfield, Mr. Burns is
> deeply shaken by the recent events.  He sits with Marge on a bed.
> Burns: I'm dreading the reviews, I can tell you that.
> An angry eye peeks through a window, and Marge cheerfully waves back.
> Reaching into the room and taking a screaming Marge in his hand, Homer
> starts to climb the building.  Planes are circling above them.
> Marge notices Homer's difficulty in the climbing the building.
> Marge: Y'know, you look a little flushed.  Maybe you should eat more
>        vegetables and less people...
> The exhausted Homer places Marge on a ledge and falls just a few feet to the
> pavement.  A crowd gathers as Burns and Marge approach the body.
> Marge: [feeling for Homer's breath with her hand] He's not dead!
> Burns: No, but his career is.  I remember when Al Jolson ran amok at the
>        Winter Garden and climbed the Chrysler building.

I think he something about AJ not being able to perform in town again.

> Homer: [moans]
> Marge: Don't worry, Homey.  I'll take care of you.
> A newspaper spins into view; the headline reads: `WOMAN WEDS APE'.  At
> church, family and friends of the bride and groom watch as the Beauty and

An usher asks a monkey (?) bride or groom.

> Beast exchange vows.  Afterwards, they have their picture taken.
> Photographer: Folks, if you could just stop cleaning each other for a second..
> Ingrid Bouvier: [worried] Wait, Marge, I can't find your father!
> Marge:  [sees a leg disappear down King Homer's mouth] Oh, Homer!
> [End of Act Two.]
> Instead of candies, Marge brings out a bowl of fruit for the kids.  A
> ungrateful child throws an ashtray at her.  Before she can recover a man
> with his head resting on his chest and blood spurting from the neck stump
> jumps through the front door.
> Man:  Awwwwwwooo ooooooogh!
> kids: [all screaming] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
> Ned:  Hi kids!  Did I scaredly dare you?
> Bart: Nice try, Mr. Flanders.  But I've got a story so scary you'll wet your
>       pants!
> Abe:  Too late. [kids shift away]
> == DIAL "Z" for ZOMBIES ==
> Bart gives a book report during class.  Mrs. Krabappel listlessly endures.
> Bart:  From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, Baby's First Pop-up book is 26 pages of
>        alphabetic adventure!
> Mrs.K: Bart, you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?
> Bart:  Well, most of it.
> Krabappel orders him to find another book to review.  In the school library
> Bart fails to be impressed with the latest `Where's Waldo' book 

picture of waldo standing on a blank page

  (``Man, he's
> not trying anymore!'').  He looks around further and notices the Occult
> section.
> Bart: Gee, I never notice that before.
> Bart enters holding of a candle made from a human skull.  A Time Life book
> flies out from the shelf, striking Bart on the head.
> Bart: [reading the title] Book of Magic and Spells;  Vol.II
> Book: [four apparitions appear] Evil!...EVIL!...MADNESS!...Beware!...BEWARE!
> Bart: Cool!  [slams the book shut]
> Book: Oww!...OWWW!...oww!...OWWW!
> In Lisa's room, Bart eagerly reads from the book of magic while Lisa grieves
> over a photo of Snowball I.
> Bart: Chapter 8; Let's talk zombies.  If a zombie bites you, you'll become a
>       zombie.  You must walk the earth, feeding on the brains of the living
>       until the spell is broken.
> Lisa: [annoyed] Bart, please.  Don't you remember that Snowball I died four
>       years ago tonight?  Run over by the Mayor's beer-swilling brother,
>       Clovos(sp?).
> Bart: Hey, maybe there's a spell in here that will bring her back from the
>       dead?  [Lisa blinks as Bart flips through the pages]
>       Let's see what we got.  How to get your skeletons their whitest.
>       Selling your soul in a buyers' market.  Ahh, here we are; how to raise
>       the dead.
> At the Springfield Pet Cemetery Bart wears a black cape and a Michael
> Jackson album cover as he recites the spell.  Lisa anxiously stares at SB1's
> gravestone.
> Bart: [raising a hand in air] Collin..Rayburn..Nars..Trebek! [lightning]
>       [raising both hands] Zabars..Kresge..Caldor..Walmart!
> As the last syllable leaves his mouth, lightning strikes all the tombstones
> in the Cemetery and Zombies appear.
> Lisa: [staring at SB1's grave marker] It's not working.  [sighs]
>       [notices zombies] Bart! You cast the wrong spell -- ZOMBIES!
> Bart: Please Lis, they preferred to be called the `Living Impaired'.
> In front of Springfield Elementary Groundskeeper Willie pats down the earth
> with a shovel, and is attacked by two Zombies who emerge from the ground.
> On their bicycles, Bart and Lisa ride like the wind as Zombies give chase.
> Zombies knock at Ned Flanders' front door.
> Ned:     Well how'd strangers, what can I do you for?
> Zombies: BRAINS!  BRAINS!  BRAINS!
> Ned:     Well Sui Doloks; you rascal, [chuckle] I thought you were dead.

What is meant by "Sui Doloks"?

> Ned screams as the Zombies attack.  Back home, Bart and Lisa confess to Homer.
> Lisa:  Dad, we've done something very bad!
> Homer: [eating pork rinds, frowns] Did you wreck the car?
> Bart:  Nooo!
> Homer: [frowns] Did you raise the dead?
> Lisa:  Yesss!
> Homer: [more frowns] But the car's okay?
> Kids:  Yes!
> Homer: [relieved] Alright then.
> Martin hears Principal Skinner's voice over the P.A.  Skinner sits in his
> office with his back to us.
> Skinner: Martin Prince; report to my office at once...
>          [turns around, revealing ghastly features] and bring that big juicy
>          chestnut brain of yours... [licking his lips] Mmmmm!
> Homer watches Krusty the Klown on the TV while the rest of the family
> urgently board up the windows.  Krusty stands before a large gift-wrapped
> box that is the first prize in the Krusty Sweepstakes.
> Krusty removes the ribbon and Sideshow Mel pops out; dragging the screaming
> clown into the box.  The studio broadcasts a ``Please Stand By'' card, but

The 'Please Stand By' card shows a drunk camera man behind a camera with a 
bottle.

> Krusty is soon back on the air.
> Krusty: [zombie-like] To enter, send me your parents' brains.  Put your
>         parents' brains on a 3x5 card, and send it to--
> Marge:  [interrupting] Homer, did you barricade the door?
> Homer:  Why?  Oh, the Zombies.. No! [the back door collapses inward]
> Family: [seeing the zombies] Aaaaaaaagggggggh!
> Homer unselfishly offers himself to the Zombies to allow his family a chance
> to escape, but the Zombies ignore him because they couldn't find a brain.
> Homer finds the rest of the family in the master bedroom huddled on the bed.
> Bart:  I thought dabbling in the Back Arts would be good for a chuckle, how
>        wrong I was; I should have never read that book!
> Lisa:  Bart, maybe the library has another book that will reverse the spell?
> Marge: It's our only hope!
> Homer: [cocking a sawn-off shotgun] To the book depository!

Kennedy reference!
> 
> Homer cautiously leads his family to the car parked outside, but is stopped
> by Ned Flanders.
> Bart:  Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!
> Homer: [smoking gun in hand] He was a Zombie??
> On the way to the school, Homer listens to the radio for any news.
> Radio: KZMB, all zombie radio...Grrrrrrrrrr!
> Meanwhile, a flying Saucer hovers above the Earth.
> Alien1: The zombies have the earthlings on the run.
> Alien2: Soon the human race will wither and fold.  Let the earth plunge
>         we've seen on the Observe-a-scope.
> Both Aliens laugh maniacally.  Below, OFF makes their way past a zombified
> Jimbo, Kearny and Dolph as they boot Skinner's head around (``Owww! Careful,
> not the face!'').  Inside the school, Homer blows way a zombie Mrs. Krabappel
> and a few others before finding Barney chomping down on an arm.
> Homer:  [shocked] Barney, not you too?!!
> Barney: I'm not a Zombie, but hey, when in Rome..
> Barney notices a Zombie George Washington staggering about.  Homer blows
> Washington away ..and Albert Einstein ..and William Shakespeare.
> Homer: Take that, Washington!
>        Eat lead, Einstein!
>        Show's over, Shakespeare!
> Will:  [collapsing dramatically] Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?
> In the occult section of the school library, Lisa watches anxiously as the
> Zombies smash their way into the room while Bart searches frantically for
> the book.
> Bart: Kolchak..Mannix..Banachek..Dano!  [-poof- Lisa turns into a snail]
> Lisa: What's wrong?
> Bart: I never realized what a beautiful young woman you've become.
> Lisa: [blushes]
> Bart: Trojan..Ramses..Magnum..Sheiks!
> Brilliant blue light bursts forth from the book, dispersing throughout
> Springfield.  Fearing the enchanted light, the zombies return to their
> graves.
> Zombie1: See you in hell.
> Zombie2: Still pushing that boulder?
> Zombie1: Uh huh.
> Two John Smiths fight over a grave.  In front of City Hall, Mayor Quimby
> addresses the gathering crowd.
> Quimby: The, aw, Zombies that plagued our town are now just corpses rotting
>         in our streets.
> Crowd:  [cheers]
> At home, everything is back to normal.  OFF watches TV.
> Marge:  Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies.
> Bart:   [zombie-like] Shhhhh...T V.
> Homer:  [zombie-like] MAN..FALL..DOWN.....FUNNY!
> Family: [zombie-like] MMMMMM.
> ==============================================================================
> > Distribution notice and Acknowledgments
> ==============================================================================
> This compilation Copr. 1992 Chris Baird; Scene Summaries Copr. 1992 Dave Hall.
> Quotes from The Simpsons are the property of 20th Century FOX Television, and
> the other reproduced contributions belong to their respective authors.  To be
> freely distributed through Usenet or any other associated networks on the
> provision it remains unaltered and is not used to promote a commercial service.
> Significant contributions from...
>  {cjb} - Chris Baird (c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au)
>   {mb} - Mike Berman (MSB101@psuvm.psu.edu)
>   {hb} - Harvey Bornstein (harvey@lugnut.prime.com)
>  {bhc} - Bart Calder (bhc@mayhem.east.sun.com)
>  {jjc} - Jim Campanella (jjc4@po.cwru.edu)
>   {tc} - Terry Carroll (tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com)
>   {rc} - Ron Carter (rcarter@nyx.cs.du.edu)
>  {jrd} - John R. Donald (jdonald@us.oracle.com)
>   {de} - Doug Easterly (hapa@cats.ucsc.edu)
>  {jmg} - James Gouldsbury (jmg20@duts.ccc.amdahl.com)
>   {dh} - Dave Hall (dave@sys6626.bison.mb.ca)
>   {mh} - Mike Hammond (mhammond@bnr.ca)
>   {dk} - Dora Kilburn (kilburn@tomb.cs.wisc.edu)
>        - (jpl10@duts.ccc.amdahl.com)
>        - Rob Lopez (rlopez@loanstar.tamu.edu)
>  {jsl} - Joe St.Lucas (stlucas@gdwest.gd.com)
>   {mn} - Michael Neylon (mneylon@jupiter.cse.utoledo.edu)
>   {ap} - Andy Peters (adpeters@sunflower.bio.indiana.edu)
>   {dp} - David Pochron (pochron@picard.cs.wisc.edu)
>   {gs} - Glen Santos (rsantos@milp.jsc.nasa.gov)
>   {ns} - Norm Schaeffer (hwtx@cornella.cit.cornell.edu)
>   {ls} - Lisa Simpson (lsimpson@glencoe.apana.org.au)
>   {ct} - Carl Tait (tait@cs.columbia.edu)
>  {hot} - Henry O. Tirado (hot@cbnewsb.cb.att.com)
>   {kw} - Karl Wagenfuehr (wagenfuh@huey.udel.edu)
>   {pw} - Pete Wilkinson (dapete@cup.portal.com)
>   {jw} - James Willer (jwlr@okeeffe.cc.rochester.edu)
>  {jjw} - John J. Wood (jojw@uhura.cc.rochester.edu)
> ==============================================================================

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