From: dvandom@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (David VanDomelen)
Subject: LNH: The Sound of Clashing Metal - a story in two Actons
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 03:46:38 GMT

     In the HQ of the LNH, P.C.Man clashed vehemently with MacLaughlin Man over
just about everything from the Perot economic plan to snausages.  Then P.C.Man 
glanced over to see Lurking Lass become the Lurking One!
     Excusing himself (as if MacLaughlin Man would even notice if the target of
his rant left), P.C.Man ducked behind a potted plant and activated his remote 
teleporter to avoid being spotted by the genuine article, P.C. Person (aka 
Multiculturally Senstitive Deconstructionist Human Animal of Spandex).
     Arriving at one of his secret bases (one of the orthonormal ones), he 
stripped off his concealing suit and revealed himself as Acton Lord!!!
               *              *              *              *
     Meanwhile, at another of his secret bases, Acton Lord frowned.  If the 
readings on his screen were correct, the reactivation sequence had gone wrong, 
and now there were several active copies of him on the net, each slightly 
different.  For example, one copy with a slightly wrong costume and really 
gross taste in pizza was currently menacing Ultimate Ninja, and yet another was
attempting to infiltrate the LNH.  Whether there were others out there or not 
was a question he could not answer...for now.  As far as he could tell, he was 
an uncorrupted copy, which was good, since he could set about trying to fix 
other inactive copies from his own matrix.
     Then a window popped up on his screen indicating that the orthonormal 
secret base was occupied.  Enlarging the window (he had learned a few tricks 
from battling Multitasking Man), he was able to ascertain that it was the Acton
Lord that was trying to infiltrate the LNH, and betray it from within.
     He stood and tapped the "A" on his chest, saying "Base R-4" as he did so.
One orthogonal transform later, he was in the other base.
               *              *              *              *
     Back at base R-4 a few seconds prior to the last line, Acton Lord cursed 
the fates.
     "Damn!  If only P.C.Person hadn't decided to join!  Granted, I made a 
mistake in calling myself P.C.*Man*, but with those chowderheads I could have 
covered quite easily if the genuine article hadn't shown!  And now there's too 
many members for me to try another one.  Especially since Contraption Man 
warned them of a traitor.  If onl...What the hell are you?!?!" he exclaimed as 
the otehr Acton Lord reconstructed from the other base.
     "I am Acton Lord...or rather a copy booted up when the original was 
defeated in the Kinda Big Darkness Saga."
     "What copies?  *I* am Acton Lord, the one and only!  The original!"  As if
to prove his point, he fired off twin powerbeams at his double.
     "Absolute certainty misleads absolutely," quipped Acton Lord as he 
corrupted his double's powerbeam into incoherent light.  "Obviously, Sig Lad's 
meddling affected your memory as well as your judgement."
     "How did you do that?  I was never able to corrupt powers...I can just 
make variants of Acton's Law and fire powerbeams!"  said the puzzled Acton 
Lord.
     "Ah...I see the problem.  You're a copy from between LNH #249 and #250, 
and we didn't actually gain the power enhancement/corruption ability until the 
lettercol of Suicide Squid v23 #14.  My file was updated after that issue, so I
have the greater power."
     "Maybe...or maybe you're a clone that later gained neato powers and I'm 
the original, socked away for a while, who never gained those powers."
     "But that would contradict the Kinda Big Darkness Saga wherein it is the 
original Acton Lord that gets killed, and only then are the clones activated.  
And the message on the screen of my computer in Base C-1 only displayed one 
activation date."
     "Well, you can never trust artists to get continuity right.  But in any 
case, you could probably whup my ass so I'll go along for now and try to 
backstab you later on.  Okay?"
     "Sounds like good solid plot material.  Especially since my plan requires 
that I be betrayed if the LNH is to beat me."
     "Cool beans.  What plan?"
     "Well, I realized that your initial plan was a good one, if badly 
executed.  I propose another shot at it."
     "But it won't work again (see above)!"
     "Ah, but you see, you just solved the problem yourself!  We are 
net.entities.  We are bound only by filing restrictions, and not by normal 
causality.  If you change a file from two days ago, you have changed the 
history of that day.  With a little intrusion program left behind by Netlurker,
we can do just that."
     The two then huddled together over the computer screen, and the letterer 
obliged by having the words become little scribbles with only occasional 
legible ones like "and then" or "perfect disguise".
     "It is finished!" proclaimed the post-Squid Acton Lord.  "I have 
corrupted and enhanced your powerbeam power into something unrecognizable, and 
if you just put on this costume, I'll pop you back into time."
     And with a flourish of net.SFX, the line appeared back in a previous post 
about Cheezar, right after he demonstrated his powers to the Handi-capable 
Cannon Fodder,
>"Whoa, who forgot to flush!" asked <name deleted here for security and plot 
>purposes> from the kitchenette.

     Dave Van Domelen, yes the title of this is a pun on a Marvel Villain
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