From: bole@hmivax.humgen.upenn.edu (Greg Bole)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies
Subject: _Sleepwalkers_ *SPOILERS*
Summary: A completely dreadful movie...
Keywords: The horror, the horror...
Date: 10 Apr 92 19:13:44 GMT
Organization: HHMI/Human Genetics, Univ of Pa.

Menacing vampires, hissing cats, shape-shifting cars, blood and guts.....
Hey!  This must be Steven King's!

I realize that someone has given a review of this film, and they did a 
good job.  But I think they were far, far too kind.  So spoilers ahead,
tho I hesitate to use that terminology, because can a movie this bad really
be spoiled?  But how else could I convince you NOT to see ths movie?!?

If you like your cops dumb, your heroines dumber, and your dialogue dumbest
of all, you may enjoy parts of this film..........nnnaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

The "sleepwalkers" of the title are these unexplained, vampire-like,
shapeshifting, telekinesis-using, invisible-powered, super-strong, unhurtable,
incestuous, joke-cracking, soul-sucking, cat-fearing, feline-demon-type-things.

Some even more wreched bits that stood out amoung all the other wretched bits:

	1) The black cop, with a watch cat in his patrol car?
	   My first thought was also "Tooncis!"  Can y'all say
	   (Repeat after me) "The Black guy buys it!"

	2) A cat hater's dream: cat guts galore, snapped cat spines 
	   lest and right, huge metal traps snapping closed on cute
 	   kittys.  But also a cat lover's dream: Those brave little
	   felines come from the four corners of the Earth to save the
	   day!  They sacrifice all of their little 9 lives to stop 
	   those evil baddies.

	3) During the climactic "Cats kill the demon" scene: Are we really
	   supposed to think that those furry, limp, rag-dolls are cats 
	   hanging onto her body as the baddie flais aroud?

	4) A death scene consiting of a cop getting a pencil shoved 
	   through his ear into his brain, yum!

	5) And best of all, another cop killed by having an ear of corn 
	   stabbed into his back.  Nope, not a sharpened, sun-dried cob!
	   A just-eaten, soft, boiled, piece of golden corn-on-the-cob.
           And even better still: What the demon says after the cob-killing,

	     "No vegatables, no dessert.  Those are the rules!"

But don't get the wrong idea, this movie didn't seem like it was aiming
at camp, at least not most of the time.  Not silly enough to be campy,
too predictable to be suspenseful, too dumb to be scary, this movie is
literally the worst I have *ever* seen on the Silver Screen.

Why don't I come right out and say it: it was worse than _Howard the Duck_.
And I would sit through 10 screenings of _The Lawnmower Man_ before I would
ever see _Sleepwalkers_ again!!!

All this done and said, some of the F/X looked really neat (but were poorly
used in the plot) and the young heroine was one (if not *the*) most gorgeous
women I have ever seen.  What's her name?  It's a shame that she will most
likely never work again.  :^) 


Greg Bole                           Indiana Jones - "Professor of Archeology,
bole@hmivax.humgen.upenn.edu        expert on the occult, and how does one 
                                    say it?  Obtainer of rare antiquities."
                                         _Raider's of the Lost Ark_