HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ffej@phazer.ksu.ksu.edu (Jeffery Dean Rankin)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Arrival of a Stranger
Date: 14 Dec 1992 16:56:42 -0600
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: phazer.ksu.ksu.edu

    The patrons of Callahans suddenly feel a slight breeze run through the bar
and look around to see where it's coming from.  They all seem to focus their
attention to the center of the room as a blue simmering light appears there.
The light begins to grow and two shapes begin to take form inside the aurora.
The crowd looks on in interest as the light slowly fades away and the figure
of a humanoid and a wolf are left in its place.  The figure is clad in a heavy
blue robe and has the hood drawn over his head hiding his face from view.  Upon
closer investigation you seem to be able to make out two blue eyes glowing
faintly from within the hood.  The figures slender hand rests on the head of 
the grey wolf sitting obediently beside him.  Strangely enough, the wolf's eyes
also have a faint blue glow to them.  Slowly the figure raises his hands and   
draws the hood back to reveal the face of an elf.  His face is long and slender
and has a thoughtful, maybe even sad, expression on his face.  He looks around 
quietly and turns to address the waiting crowd.
    "Hello.  My name is Galan and this is my faithful pet Greywolf.  We have 
heard many things about this place in our travels and decided to come see it 
for ourselves."  He pats the wolf lovingly on the head.  "I do hope that we're
not intruding." 
    He smiles and retreats to a corner table and takes a seat.  Greywolf 
follows him and lies down at his feet.  Galan makes a sign in the air and
mumbles a few words and a spellbook appears on the table in front of him. He
carefully opens the book and becomes absorbed in his studies.




Jeff Rankin <Ffej@ksuvm.ksu.edu>  

I believe that pure sanity is for the totlally insane.  --Jeff Rankin


Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Celebrations
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 07:09:51 GMT

 (Philip J. Comins) writes:
>    Philip takes the Gin drink and carefully brings it over to the Pincushion
>who takes it with glee (I don't know if you were in the mood for this so early
>the morning but ...)
>    "1) Ladies&Gentlemen. It gives me great pride and pleasure to announce that
>it was this man's birthday yesterday and I didn't see anyone posting him a
>happy birthday. I expect you all to toast now.

      Happy Birthday Pincushion ! 

   DJ { who feels like he really needs to get in bed... Later... }

     I'll just take some cough syrup. { I have the flu, its slowly
  going away... } Speaker, your next drink is on me ! { Yes, I know
  what I said... }

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: Re: prejudice
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 06:21:04 GMT

>>>Abner smiles.  "Prescribe?  As in, 'Take two Callahanians and call me in the
>>>morning!'?"
>
>>Danger Mouse looks at Abner. "Something like that, yes. The question is:
>>which two would you take?"
>
>Abner considers for a minute, then decides not to decide.  "Wouldn't be
>politic anyway," he mutters.

"True," Danger Mouse agrees, "if you took ones like kitten and Didi.
They almost never make political comments. If you took Michael and
Mentor, however..."

>"Besides," he says, waking up, "where would I be taking them?  Mars?  Home?
>(No, the two are not the same!)  The Bermuda Triangle?  Disneyland?  A
>desert island?  A dessert island?  And would I be taking them for all they
>were worth, or only at face value?  If it didn't work, could I have a take
>two?  Or ..."

"You could simply take them for a ride. Take your time, take in the
sights. With two patrons, it would have to be a double-take, though."

>Abner then blanches as some of the patrons threaten to take him down with
>pillows, and the pun police threaten to take him in.

"I'e heard of blanched almonds, but not blanched peanuts...."

>Ne-eno switchod tho 'o' and 'e' en yeur koybeard, Dangor Meuso.  Why did yeu
>think semo-eno had?

"Sorry, I think I _did_ mess up the definitions of 'prescribe' and
'proscribe' in my apology post, but not in my original post on this
subject. (Gosh, do any of you remember back to that?)"

>>"I think I've figured out why your machine is named 'wag', Abner...."
>
>"Why?"  (I'm sure your reason has got to be better than the real one ...)

"Well, in Australian colloquial speech, a 'wag' is someone who likes to
joke around, a practical joker, a clown for all occasions. Let's see if
you can work out why that might be appropriate...." <grin>

- Danger Mouse.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: prejudice
Date: 12 Dec 92 03:54:05 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <1992Dec11.163118.22280@netcom.com> henry@netcom.com (Henry Polard) writes:
>In article <1992Dec10.191209.484@data-io.com> li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus) writes:
>>In article <104394@bu.edu> mjmh@crsa.bu.edu (Michael J M Holmes) writes:
>>>"Anyway, he made a really strong case, and no one could
>>>come up with even one counter-example that didn't have
>>>at least some element of pain, or wasn't at someone's
>>>expense or humiliation."
>>"Puns." said Liralen.  "Puns don't have any of the above.
>>I think it's the main reason they're a staple of this Place."
>You mean the dazed people here are not inebriated, but merely
>pun-drunk? It is a point to punder.

Feminabane appears in Big Al's hands and gives Henry a smack upside the
head, softer than he would like.

<bonk>

[Rest deleted in order to save everybody's sanity]
>
>--Henry Polard, the happy sadist.

"I'll say."

Big Al.  No, I didn't hurt him, enough.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk (Alan Ralph)
Subject: Re: Confusion reigns...?
Reply-To: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Distribution: world
X-Mailer: cppnews $Revision: 1.20 $
Organization: Chez MonTemplar, Redunser
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 00:09:58 +0000

In article <1992Dec14.184640.2499@dct.ac.uk> mcspikgfm@dct.ac.uk writes:
>	Melandra looks sadly at the back of her new friend leaving the Bar and
>sips on her drink to regain some composure. Then just as suddenly he runs back
>in yelling "I'm back...I'm Back!!!!!".....at the same time a shout of its a
>girl goes off in the background and a general clamour cause her to shift
>herself in the chair to look behind. BANG....as she slips of the chair and
>lands with a thudding noise on the floor...."oh boy......what a confusion a
>messed up connection can make.......excuse me...what is today......I think I
>may need medical help.....oooowwwww what a headache!!!!!! Well done to both of
>the parties in question.....Rhiannon.....great name......& alfvaen...nice to
>see you again.....Mike!....another....but make it water this time...I dont
>think I can trust myself with anything else!
>
>							mel.

Dunno about confusion reigning, but there's a LOF of fullstops up above. :-)
--
Alan Ralph, AKA Kimberley MonTemplar (when in alt.callahans)
aralph@cix.compulink.co.uk  OR  mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Cominatcha' c/o Demon Internet Services - Internet for a tenner+VAT a month!
Note: redunser is NOT associated with any other site of demon.co.uk
From: jf2z+@andrew.cmu.edu (John Charles Fiala)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: John dashes through.
Date: 16 Dec 92 16:42:13 GMT
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

John dashes through, on her way to the bar.

She grabs an orange juice, and waves to all.

"Happy news, calloo callay!  The VMS account
I am (slowly) learning to use can access alt.callahans.

"Thusly, you haven't gotten rid of me yet!"

"This is one of the last days of this account.  From now on,
assume my mail address to be:
Bonapart@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu"

"Thanks!"

exit john
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Merlinvin finishes delurking
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 12:43:11 GMT

>Feeling in his pocket, he pulls out a stack of ones and goes to the bar,
>with every intention of buying the next round - but he remembers what
>happens to those unwise enough to claim that the next round is on them.
>After some thought, he whispers in Mike's ear; Mike grins and produces a
>tray containing a can of something, covered with a big cloth napkin.
>Merlinvin takes the tray and sets it down in the middle of the room.
>Returning to the bar for a beer, he goes back to the tray and pulls the
>napkin off with a flourish, revealing a can of diet cola.
>
>"Friends", calls Merlinvin, "the next round goes... on my Tab!"
>
>(ducks)

  "Here a duck, there a duck, but Daffy is no where to be seen ! A Tab
 is a <tab-key> for a diet cola is made by Coke ! Is the rain going
 or is it incoming !" Robbie.


    <whoosh !> Peanuts !

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: It's a girl!
Date: 13 Dec 1992 06:01:35 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

brumby@nella7.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara) wrote:

>   At one minute to eight this evening, Friday the eleventh of December,
>Jennifer Rhiannon McNamara was born, after thirty two hours of fairly
>difficult labour by Robyn. At the moment she is in a humidicrib, because
>she found this breathing business a bit difficult for a two and a half week
>premature baby. However, she seemed to have gotten the hang of it when I
>left the hospital.

>   This was the first time in my life that I have cried for joy. I don't
>think I will ever forget it.

Congratulations to you both, and *WELL DONE* to Robyn.  The arrival of new
lives into this world is a truly wonderful thing ... best wishes to you
all.

Splash!

--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
	(aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@murdoch.edu.au)
Organization: Sophomore, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 22:58:57 -0500 
From: Mark Beirne Lively <ml5a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Utopiae (Was: Amanda wants to be a Kesh)
	<Dec14.000411.57819@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU>

Sorry just some random disjointed thoughts on or about this subject.  A
few years back I had a murphy's law calander which had all sorts of
"law" about the universe,  all of them very cynical or silly.  Nost of
them scarily accurate.  One of them was basically a restatement of the 3
laws of thermodynamics.  I can't remember what it was called.  They were
stated as the following.
1)You can't Win
2)You can't break even
3)You can't quit the game.

The next day there was a corralary.

Every major world philosophy is based on breaking one of these threee rules.
1)Capitalism is based on the principle that you can win
2)Socialism is based on the principle that you can break even
3)Mysticism is bases on the principle that you can quit the game.

"Strange Game the only winning move is not to play."
	(Name the character and both of s/h/it's names and the movie and I'll
get you a drink.)
                                        ^^^^^^ Just a little commentary
on the the hir
                                               What ever the other PC
term is. I'm
                                               partial to they singular myself.

--
The writers are gifted.  The story has been lifted -Tiny Toons
Reality is a mild halucinogen and I think its starting to wear off.-Me
ML5A@andrew.cmu.edu Bear aka the Lord High Rulebender
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Subject: Re: Pair-allel Universes
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 03:09:32 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523

In article <1g99q9INNqvj@escargot.xx.rmit.OZ.AU> s903040@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU (Christopher Francis Anderson) writes:
>pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler) writes:
>[a few deletions]
>>"My other peeve with Niven is that he failed to understand Elf's
>>Journal Entries (did he even read them?) and tried to sue one of the best
>>writers of intelligent, well-thought-out erotica on the Net today.

Intelligent, well-thought-out, and Loooong.  I'm a little more busy in my
net.reading.

>>I've read maybe a quarter of the saga (It takes up about 2.2MB of text, at
>>last count--about 4 and a half novels by SFWA standards), and there are
>>no Kzin in it as Niven claims.  Furries, yes; but their origins and 
>>personalities deviate substantially from Niven's Kzin--enough so to make
>>them original, in my thought.

For one thing, you never see Kzin in threesomes with humans and god-knows-
whats.

>>The other Niven concept present is the
>>Ringworld, which isn't (to my mind) copyrightable.

I don't remember that.  Where?  (I thought he just used a planet)

>>A Dyson sphere isn't,
>>certainly; many different writers have those in their stories.  So why
>>get on Elf's case?  Because he writes frankly about sex, and my guess is
>>that got Niven all steamed up.  Fekt."
>>"Comments? Cocoa? Hugs?"
>>He goes to the newly-rebuilt Jacuzzi and dangles his feet in the water,
>>resting.
>Comments: Where can I get a copy of Elf's Journal Entries?

elf@halycon.com.  He'll tell you where the archive site is.
(He's gonna be pissed at me for doing this.  Make sure you include a
"Big Al says hi.")

Big Al.  Giving away other clues...

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Hats
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 06:52:52 GMT

  Hmmm Hats. Here in Mississippi most people who wear hats ware the
ones for their job, or baseball caps.

    In Texas, a man wears his Stetson to the Cafe for lunch and
outdoors. Rain or shine. If an old time Texan is wearing a hat
on the sidewalk, etc. and a lady happens by, he touches the brim
of his hat with his thumb and forefinger like he was about to take
it off and tip the hat. This would be pre-1960. I don't believe
that this is still the fashion, but old timers probably still do it.
He would never wear it inside church. etc., but to a business
meeting is likely okay.

     I was taught to always rise when a woman older than myself
entered the room, or a woman of say, 'over 40ish' as a sign
of respect. Some real old timers will put their jacket back on
if a woman walks into the room. 

     Much of this, in the present work environment, has much
fallen by the wayside. Few people jump up in the computer lab
when a woman enters...

    Later, Jim.
 
-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
From: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: AAAARRRGGGHHHHH
Date: 16 Dec 92 08:09:00 GMT
Organization: SOCS - Mcgill University, Montreal, Canada
Originator: braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca

In article <ice9.29s1@hotcity.COM> ice9@hotcity.COM (Jeremy Dragt) writes:
>AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH
>The door burst open as Avec Chapeau storms into the room screaming to
>Mike,"Give a sacrifice Mike and make it a double .....But make it a virgan I
>got a twelve page paper to write on creativity and chaos science." 
>Mikw tosses it to him as Avec makes a screaching stop on the chaulk line, flame
>shooting out from under his Nike's.
>  TO BEING BACK, GOTTA GO, NEWS AT 11
>  <KER-SLAM>
>  Avec Chapeau tears out  of the bar leaving only the bewildered patrons
>(except perhaps didi sprite who might remember me) and the smell for burning
>two year tennies.

Hearing her name mentioned, the Didi-Sprite looks up from her pile of
research, and in a tone of bewilderment, asks Kitten:  "Who was that
strange hatted man?"

----<--<@

The Didi-Sprite
Montreal * Canada

braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca 
didi@geloser.login.qc.ca
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Newbies on the March
Date: 21 Dec 92 18:16:12 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au

ajm@wag.caltech.edu (Abner J. Mintz) writes:

>Michael Schiffer says:
>>I don't require that everything in my life be made rational (if I did, I
>>wouldn't be a citizen of the last non-metric country in the world :-) )

>Abner smiles.  "After many years of being a chemist and a physicist, I've
>become less and less able to use the English system (even the English don't
>use it anymore!) ...  The only English units I can grasp mentally are inches
>and feet ...  and I prefer centimeters and meters!  It's really bad when you
>have to convert weights to metric in your head ..."

Splash listens and nods. "Australia is a strange case ... weights
(particularly birth weights, for some peculiar reason) are _always_ quoted
in imperial (although the official weight is metric).  Most people
still only know their height in feet and inches.  Certainly most hardware
items are described in imperial measures, although that's starting to
change over now.  But considering we've been metric now for ... about 20
years? ... it's kinda odd.  I wonder how long England will take to get
over imperialism (in more than one sense :-)  ).

 
--
		Splash!		*To love is to LIVE!*
   (aka Mike van Keulen -- e-mail: keulen@csuvax1.murdoch.edu.au)
From: olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Chip Olson@somewhere.out.there)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: "Humor" and real humor
Date: 14 Dec 92 13:42:14 GMT
 <1992Dec7.160717.27779@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca><1992Dec7.123710@twinpeaks.gsfc.nasa.gov><1992Dec12.203642.20710@wam.umd.edu>
Organization: Spam-On-A-Rope Inc.
In-reply-to: amanda@wam.umd.edu's message of 12 Dec 92 20:36:42 GMT

In article <1992Dec12.203642.20710@wam.umd.edu> amanda@wam.umd.edu (Me again) writes:

>I find myself doing that so much!  Leaving the room because a tv character
>is about to be embarrassed.  
[..]

>The strange thing is, i've heard that sentiment (about the unbearableness of
>tv humor) on the net before... and almost nowhere else... there is some weird
>common denominator at work, like some fraction of the population too small
>to meet each other in daily life is finding itself in cyberspace.

"Yup, count me in.  I don't know how to define it, cross-purposes or whatever,
but it's something I can't stand to watch.  Of course, my other problem with
TV is that my tolerance for stupid ads is about zero, and I find about 98% of 
TV ads to be stupid."

--
-Chip Olson. | olson@husc.harvard.edu | ceo@{gnu.ai,silver.lcs}.mit.edu 
"These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break. These days
you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face... And when you 
do you'll know how it was meant to be..." -10,000 Maniacs, "These Are Days"
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jpalmer@onetouch.COM (John Palmer)
Subject: Re: seduction
Organization: MCS/OneTouch, Inc.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 22:08:43 GMT

pope@physics.su.OZ.AU (The Nightstalker) writes:

>In article <ByrnqD.7s0@news.cso.uiuc.edu> trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski) writes:
>>
>>kitten has yet another topic for discussion....seduction music.
>>
>>"i know it is different for people in different age groups....and/or
>>dependent on what is popular...but what kind of music do you chose to
>>"set the mood", so to speak?

     For me, actually, ANYTHING that can evoke feeling is good. . . I play by
feeling.  Simon and Garfunkel are good, especial on a first listen to someone
with poetry in their soul.

    The Indigo Girls are also pretty good, and I have several mix tapes now
that I sometimes use. . . and I think I've used Sinead O'Conner. . . But I
won't use her on any good catholics anymore. . . 

>"I worry about you kitten!  Well, I don't seduce, well not anymore.  But I
>would say the best music is generally something the other person can relax to,
>and that you can relax to as well.  I like Mozart, Enya and Clannad when my
>better half is around for a quiet evening of chatting and D&M."

    I dunno Nightstalker. . . if you've got a lady, that's the BEST time to do
a 'seduction', depending on your use of the word.

    For me, an initial seduction is a setting the stage for emotional
involvement, forcing events to bring us to a head; either we try to be together
or we let ourselves fall apart. . . this level of seduction is simply a means
of forcing her to see me as a sexual being, and past that, may have no sexual
content.  (ie, an 'initial seduction' is where I force her to see me as a
possible lover, even if we do nothing more than kiss and hug in the
relationship)

     Again, for me, subsequent seductions are simply an attempt to get us to
fall in love all over again; with or without sex, the seduction itself is the
fun part.  (Not that *I* am knocking sex, heaven forbid!)

    Maybe there's a better word for this than 'seduction'. . . but I haven't
found one.
(Hmmm.  One book I read mentioned that the author told a female friend that he
was going to do a chapter on seduction and arousal. She said 'good, which are
you going to cover first?'  Until that time, he thought they were one and the
same.  THIS shows what I'm trying to explain about seduction.  Seduction has a
bad rep anymore.)

                                                     John
-- 
John Palmer					jpalmer@onetouch.COM
Columbus, OH					...!uunet!onetouch!jpalmer
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mwasson@uhunix.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu (Michael Wasson)
Subject: Re: Chess match
Organization: University of Hawaii
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 22:07:59 GMT

(Damien)
>>Before exams I was playing a game of chess against a friend of mine Delroy,
 or
>>Del for short. The game was said to be the battle of the incompedants by both
>>of us the game was won by a checkmate by me with a Queen and King verus a 
King.

(Splash)
>Chuckle - sounds like the way I play chess ... unfortunately I couldn't
>find a partner who played the same way, and I was continually defeated
>soundly.  Needless to say I found the game quite boring after a while, and
>haven't played in years :-)

Gecko-boy laughs.  "Heh! Me too ... it once took the combined intellect
of my best friend and myself to defeat the Atari 2600 at chess ...
yes, we found the 2600, at 2K of memory, to be a formidable opponent. :-)"

"Of course," muses the lizard, "it *did* use psychological warfare. It
didn't have enough memory to think and maintain the screen display at
the same time. Whenever it was the Atari's turn, random, blinding
colors would flash while it decided its turn. When the board came
back, we couldn't always tell what its move had been! Plus our brains
got pretty fried watching those colors..."

"In any case, I still prefer a good game of _Creature that Ate 
Sheboygan_."


The Geck' 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Wasson                     | "It could be you. It's a sky-blue sky. 
mwasson@uhunix.uhcc.hawaii.edu  | Satelites are out tonight."  
University of Hawai'i           |                          (Laurie Anderson)
      -and-                     | "Live for today, scheme for tomorrow!"
Fat Messiah Games               |                         (my friend Sheryl)
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