From: jj@alice.att.com (jj, curmudgeon and all-around grouch)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: 20/20 SPANKING COMPLAINT
Date: 8 Nov 92 21:45:58 GMT
Article-I.D.: alice.24117
Reply-To: jj@alice.UUCP (jj, curmudgeon and all-around grouch)
Distribution: usa
Organization: NJ State Home for Bewildered Terminals

In article <1992Nov07.022104.2223051@locus.com> judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer) writes:

>What bothers me most about this whole discussion is the way people throw
>accusations back and forth at those who disagree with them.  This is
>a prime example.

>Non-spanker: 	Parents who spank do so because it is more convenient
>		to resort to spanking than to use alternate methods of
>		discipline.

>Spanker:	Parents who don't spank do so because it is more convenient
>		to allow your children to run wild than to take the time
>		necessary to spank them.

>I contend that there is an enormous amount of disrespect on both sides of
>this issue and, frankly, I think people in both camps should be ashamed of
>themselves.  I think there is no excuse for accusing people who differ in
>their opinions of being bad, lazy, or inadequate parents.  
Boy, oh Boy, did you say a mouthfull!

>I think you should all have a time-out and stop posting until you are 
>ready to be civil!    

Hear, Hear, Hear!

I'm really sick of seeing the various ad-hominem and discounting
behaviors on all sides by people who are referring to ethical
and moral bases for their positions.

I can't imaging anyone arguing from a high-and-mighty moral
point of view after portraying a person who has said they
might spank a child under some circumstances as an all-around
child abuser who is too lazy to "do it right", nor can I
imaging anyone arguing from a high-and-mighty ethical viewpoint
after proclaiming "unspanked children run wild".

Lookee here folks, some kids are very sensitive to what their
parents want and how their parents feel, and some have
rebellion as the first thought in their heads from beginning of
day to sleepy-time-crib-tantrum, and that's because the KID
is wired differently.

What works for one kid may not work at all for another.  

Different cultures expect different behaviors.

Blanket condemnations have no place on any side.

There is certainly a line between spanking and abuse, and between
disipline in occasional incidents involving safety related matters,
and constant beating.

I think everyone needs to understand that.

-----Obligatory Kid Contribution-----
Personally, I dislike violence, and we haven't had to use
any, other than grabbing the runaway rabbit a few times to prevent
charging off somewhere dangerous.  With this kid, the lesson
sticks.  We don't restrict her unless it matters, and
she seems to be somewhat surprised when we do, and
that makes it stick. I've seen other kids who it wouldn't
stick for, and who might need some physical reminder. 
I'm glad ours doesn't.
-- 
Extremism *Copyright alice!jj 1992, all rights reserved, except transmission
   in the    *by USENET and like facilities granted.      Said permission is
  defense of     *granted only for complete copies that include this notice.
 liberty is no vice.  *Use on pay-for-read services specifically disallowed.