From: rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)
Subject: Re: Distress Call
Keywords: Suddenly, the moon blows up.
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 92 04:58:02 GMT

In article <10SEP199215233278@bestsd.sdsu.edu> regan1016@bestsd.sdsu.edu (T. ELIZABETH HARVEY) writes:
>In article <1992Sep10.003609.3184@sequent.com>, rip@sequent.com (Paul T Taylor)                 writes...
>>In article <9SEP199216084304@bestsd.sdsu.edu> regan1016@bestsd.sdsu.edu (T. ELIZABETH HARVEY) writes:
>>>In article <1992Sep9.041827.17514@wam.umd.edu>, hwyman@next05cville.wam.umd.edu (The Hwyman)    writes...
>>
>>**bunch of stuff deleted**
>>
>>>>It's getting late but I don't think I'll be able to sleep much.  And
>>>>if I do, I hope I don't remember my dreams.  They won't be pleasant.
>>>>Well, another nice guy bit the big one.
>>>Oh, don't say that!  I believe that nice guys always finish first,
>>>eventually ...

**bunch deleted**

>>whiners, and unless they can crawl out of there shells, they will
>>always be last.  Until they feel they want to take charge of thier
>>lives and get what *they* want, no one is going to hand it to them on
>>a Silver Platter.
>
>Hmmm ...
><Elizabeth muses, trying not to go off-the-cuff ...>
>Paul, my dear, what makes you think that so-called Nice Guys are whiners?
>INDEED, I put whiners in the same category as jerks, pin-heads, and other
>anal & anal-retentive personalities.

Ok, maybe we need to make some distinctions here.  Obviously what I
term 'NiceGuy' is not the same as you.  There seems to be a group of
'Guys' that are basically loving caring individuals, but carry that to
the extreme where they will do *anything* to not hurt anyone elses
feelings.  They let people walk over thier emotions.  Then they sit
and wonder why no one loves them back.  Another stigma that sticks to
these guys is when they get dumped on it is always, "Your a 'NiceGuy',
but....."


>JUST because a guy DOESN'T go around acting like a blow-hard, with an
>ego-size 3 times the size of his IQ, DOESN'T mean he is some sniveling
>little weasel who can't GET anywhere with women and spends all his time
>boring others by bemoaning in perpetuity over it!

Agreed, but on the other hand, if a guy can't or *won't* make his
needs, wishes or what ever known, not only will woman not be able to
'fulfill' his needs or wished, they will not know what they are.

>And when I wrote that Nice Guys do finish first, eventually, it was as an
>encouragement to Rob not to think that no woman would EVER appreciate him,
>nor to think he has to come on like GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN just get gain
>women's attention ...

I know it was an encouragement, and I think Rob does too.  In all the
discussions about this, (and by the way, if your *really* want to get
into this type of discussion, just drop the words 'NiceGuy' in
soc.singles!  I *guarantee* you will get more than you hope for!), is
that *some* women who were previously attracted to 'Jerks' are now
looking for the 'NiceGuy' they passed up before.  This in itselt kind
of pisses me off.  I mean what was wrong with the other guy in the
first place that they are 'OK' now?  (I use the term 'NiceGuy' here
in what I think you are thinking of, kind, considerate, maybe a bit
shy, basically a good person....).

>And take it from a *Nice Girl*, who's been pretty much *ignored* by guys of
>all stripes, that sometimes, love is a matter of luck ... unfortunately,
>there are those of us in this world who seem to have been born unlucky ...

Do you *really* believe that?  Do those unfortunate enough to be born
unlucky *ever* find love?  Are they doomed to go through life with no
one?  I hope you don't think of yourself in this light!

>>Well, enough of this....  Personally I would not put HWY in this
>>catagory, and you probably weren't trying to.  I think rather he,
>>like most of the guys in this group, is just a normal loving person
>>who has had a nasty experience.  Blahblahblahblahblah.....
>No, I meant what *I* said ... when I call someone a nice guy, it is a
>compliment, and *not* a left-handed one ... and I certainly wish HWY well
>..

Again I will put this in a catagory of not meaning the same thing by
the term 'NiceGuy'.  What you are calling a 'NiceGuy' I was refering
to as the 'normal loving person'.  See what happens when we don't
come out defining our terms?  And I wish Hwy well too, and I wish you
well as well....

*Hugs*

rip(Gawd I love these little discussions!)
Newsgroups: alt.romance.chat