From: Dean.Heather@f301.n670.z3.fx.cec.edu.au (Dean Heather)
Newsgroups: aus.jokes
Subject: more bloody jokes
Date: 8 Apr 92 10:55:00 GMT
Article-I.D.: csource.702816137.F00007

DRINK DRIVING JOKES...by the way some of these are true
stories


A man was charged with drink-driving, he fronted
up to the court and explained to the judge that if he lost his
licence, he could lose his job, the judge explained to him
that there was alternative transport available and stated that
there was too much traffic anyway.  The man replied saying
that he was a bus driver.

This is a racist drink driver

South africa also has it's drink driving problems
A white man was driving towards Pretoria, a town in Sth
Africa,  ( where else ? )..he knew he was pissed when he come
across a bretho, so he stopped his car about a half a mile
before the bretho and slid into the passenger seat, when the
cops come up to him , they asked where the driver was, he
explained that the driver was black and when he saw the white
cops , he took off,...being white they believed him.

A drunk driver ran into an elephant that had escaped from a
touring circus, when the cop asked how he could have hit it,
the man explained that he had been seeing animals all day and
this was the first one that had been real.

An english lad, just after he had passed his drivers licence
was pulled over for drink driving when he was seen swerving
all over the road waving to his friends, he explained to the
judge that the charge was unfair because he was not used o
drink driving as he had just got his licence.

This is a true story:

A new jersey man accused of drink driving and violently
resisting police, which he denied, was not helped by his name:
George Lush.

A Yorkshire man was found sitting in his car at a pub, his
eyes were glazed and was talking to himself in a slurred
voice, he refused to take a bretho and blood test, the judge
dismissed the case when it turned out that the man owned the
pub.

This is a good one: it's also true

Driving along the pacific highway in California or Australia
or Tasmania who bloody cares, A young couple on their first
date were attempting to prove that it was possible to make
love at 110 k\ph and to also prove that drinking too much
alcohol doesn't impair the male libido.

Meanwhile . in a highway patrol car parked off the road, a cop
was trying an experiment of his own, how long can a cop sit
still in a baking hot car..? He was on the point of giving up
when the vision of a car hurtling past with writhing limbs, he
pout on his siren and gave chase.
The man heard the siren and immediately panicked, Disengaging
himself from his lover he put his foot down and at the first
opportunity turned off the highway, "we'll change seats. I've
had too much to drink" he commanded, his girlfriend tried to
protest. " don't argue" he insisted, "just switch"

The next experiment was to see how fast they could get changed
and change seats, it was just completed as the cop car pulled
up. The cop was hot, tired, pissed off and very crabby, He
demanded to know why they had raced off, The man lied by
saying that they were not supposed to be together, the
policeman could smell alcohol and was certain that the man had
been driving when he saw them go past, but how could he prove
it ?.

" would you mind turning the engine off young lady" he asked ,
she seemed to take a while to find the ignition keys but this
was no grounds for a charge, the cop asked a more direct
approach, " how old are you young lady" the girl replied with
a blush and low voice " fifteen" " fifteen " the cop shouted,
" you need to be a little older than that to drive in this
state"...the passenger who was the young man shouted also in
horror, " you told me you were seventeen"..

That was a true story too he he he
thats all for today.

 * Origin: Tassie DataBank Line #3, D'bridge Tasmania 1300mb V32 (3:670/301)
Newsgroups: aus.jokes