From: auer@cs.swarthmore.edu (David S. Auer)
Newsgroups: soc.women,alt.abortion.inequity,talk.abortion,alt.feminism,soc.men
Subject: Re: Back Again To Father Notification...
Date: 5 Nov 92 11:06:40 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Swarthmore College, PA

In article <1992Nov4.202337.826@ils.nwu.edu> lynch@ils.nwu.edu (Richard Lynch) writes:
>In article <3RLSB4B2@cc.swarthmore.edu> auer@cs.swarthmore.edu (David S. Auer) writes:
>>In article <1992Oct29.150706.26091@ils.nwu.edu> lynch@ils.nwu.edu (Richard Lynch) writes:
>>>In article <1ckmjdINN5cp@gap.caltech.edu> peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri) writes:
MLP>A question for those support mandated husband notification:

MLP>Do you think a wife should be required to tell her husband that she's 
MLP>pregnant always, or only when she is going to abort?  I.e., should 
MLP>she have to notify her husband (or former husband) if she plans to 
MLP>carry the child to term?  What if she plans to give it up for adoption
MLP>(so that there's no question of child support)?

RL>>Yes, the *father* should always be notified.

DSA>This sort of dogmatism on sensitive issues is potentially quite destructive.

DSA>Clearly you haven't been following the argument enough.  I meant only that the
DSA>regardless of the abortion/adoption/rear decision, the father should be
DSA>notified.  In other posts, I have regularly and often provided numerous
DSA>disclaimers.

DSA>Should the father be notified in cases of rape, incest, abuse, uncertain
DSA>parentage?

RL>Rape, incest, abuse, no.
RL>Uncertain parentage should be made certain.

DSA>Suppose you marry someone while carrying another man's child.  You and your
DSA>husband know the child is his because the blood test says so.  He meant nothing
DSA>to you but could be a dogmatist like Mr Tochlin.  Should you tell him even
DSA>though it means the disruption of your life, your husband's life and your
DSA>child's life.

RL>I don't know who Mr Tochlin is nor what exactly you mean by dogmatist, so I
RL>can't see what the significance is.  Basically, I'd say yes, but there may be
RL>cases where this would not be my answer.

Did I mispell your name?

DSA>Suppose your husband sexually abuses your older two children and has raped you
DSA>and you are now pregnant.  You fear your husband will insist upon your carrying
DSA>your child to term and will abuse the child once the child is born.  You do
DSA>not have the courage to go to the police and risk humiliation, but you do have
DSA>the courage to go to an abortion clinic so that your unborn child will not have
DSA>to go through what you and your other children are going through.

RL>Fine, have an abortion, but also get some counseling and/or a divorce.
RL>I believe there is counseling available without going to the police.

DSA>Suppose you are 12 years old and your father has statutorily raped you.

RL>Rape has already been discussed.

DSA>These things do happen.

DSA>Here is another instance which might happen:

DSA>You break up with your fiancee after he found out that you had been cheating
DSA>on him.  You do not want to get back together with him or raise a kid.  You
DSA>have an abortion without notifying him.

RL>Inform him.

DSA>Clearly in the above case the man is getting left out of the process.  (Why he
DSA>would want to marry such an immature woman and raise children with her is
DSA>beyond my guessing, but I am told foolish people do crazy things in the name of
DSA>love.)

DSA>One must look at instances leaning more towards the first several cases I
DSA>mentioned and at those more similar to the last example and way them in terms
DSA>of estimated frequency of the former versus the latter.  Bearing this in mind
DSA>one must than guess the relative consequences under father's notification and
DSA>lack of father's notification and then decide based upon a merger of these two
DSA>data which legal set-up is best.  My suspicion is that upon sufficient soul-
DSA>searching you will come to agree with me _against_ father's notification.

RL>No, after sufficient soul-searching I still believe father notification should
RL>be the norm.

In cases of abuse, there is often a lot of pressure upon the woman including
the pressure of reporting the abuse to often callous police and fear of
retribution by the abuser.  Abuse and rape are difficult to establish.  In
such cases father's notification can be tragic.

-dave
Newsgroups: soc.women