HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Hyvvi Hakkapeliitta)
Subject: Re: Shiva Pariah's mysterious .sig
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 19:44:53 GMT
Organization: Deutsche Waffen und Munitionsfabriken

>OK, Dave, I'll admit I haven't been paying very good attention lately.
>But, what the fuck is this in your .sig?

Save 'em, collect 'em, trade 'em with friends.

-Dave
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From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night)
Date: 16 Nov 92 17:22:55 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Seventh Circuit Bound) writes:

>As alien as it might be to you to treat women as intelligent people with
>their own needs and thoughts, I assure you that such behavior is not
>unappreciated.

You obviously haven't met my ex.....

>Peeve/!Peeve: Having law school friends run into your ex-girlfriend.

It depends on what they're driving really, doesn't it?

FoFP

-- 

We wonder why other folks regard computing people as weird while we
persistently refer to small, square objects as "discs".
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Subject: Re: BDIVOs in general
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 03:46:01 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard

Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian writes:

>
>	There is nothing more annoying about a car, to me, than having
>only a speedometer and a gas gauge on the dash.  Dammit, I want a tach,
>oil temp, oil pressure, coolant temp, voltage, amperage, cylinder head
>temp, intake and exhaust manifold pressure if appropriate.

Yes!!!  I've added three gauges to one of my cars, thankful that the
manufacturer made the dash modular enough to provide spaces for more
gauges.

Of the gauges I consider the minimum (coolant temp, oil pressure, tach,
voltmeter [or ammeter], boost/vacuum [if youse got a turbo], speedo, and fuel),
I'm surprised that the "driver's car" BMWs are missing one (either the
volts/amps, or the oil pressure).  The '92 MR2 turbo was also missing one
of these seven.  Sheesh!

One of the ]<00lest dashes and gauge clusters I've seen is on the old
Volvo P1800S's.

-Dave
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Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: Mis-used of turn signals & other stuff
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 14:46:34 GMT

In <By5wyq.G09@nic.umass.edu> jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) 
writes:

>Now Mike LOVES his car.  I'd venture to say he expends more time
>and energy on that car than on his sun.  

Now, isn't THAT a waste... not that many people own their own star in the first
place, you'd think that he'd pay a little more attention to it.  Did it come 
with its own planets?

>Jenny "Call me a cab, thanks" Gutbezahl

Jenny, you're a cab.  You're welcome.
--

Tom Dennis                    |  I looked into the abyss,
dennis@alexia.uiuc.edu        |    and the abyss looked into me--
tadg0614@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu     |      and we both winked.
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Disco Fever
Date: 16 Nov 92 09:36:40 GMT
Organization: Holy Order of Quadra 950 Lust

In article <+!hq02b@lynx.unm.edu> jennyb@triton.unm.edu (Jenny Ballmann) writes:
>Peeve:  as a proto-geek in high school, I wasted my time and money on
>films like _Love and Death_, _Eraserhead_, and _RHPS_.  Movies like
>_Saturday Night Fever_ were beneath me then.

Peeve: *Eraserhead*. I went to a sort of artsy-fartsy college where
everybody (particulary the film majors) *raved* about this flick.
They'd usually show it once a semester with something like *A Clockwork
Orange* or *Brazil* and everybody would crowd 'round to watch.

I never failed to fall asleep. I don't care what anybody says, *Eraserhead*
is a totally fucking boring movie. I don't care if it's art, I don't care
about whatever Freudian or Jungian parallels to life one can draw from it,
it's a goddamed yawn-fest.

!Peeve: *Heathers*. Now *that's* art.

d "fuck me gently with a chain saw; who do i look like, mother theresa?" h
-- 
"Society sucks. Pay it no mind." - Cynthia Heimel
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Burnt Popcorn Peeve
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 19 Nov 1992 22:23:40 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
Distribution: alt
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com




Have you ever noticed that whenever you burn microwave popcorn at the
office, people come from miles around to comment on it?  

I stuck some popcorn in the microwave across the hallway a few minutes
ago, then got sidetracked with an urgent but essentially boring issue.
So by the time I got back to the coffee-and-junk-food room, the micro-
wave was beeping and my bag of popcorn had just started to scorch.  It
was still quite edible, but the smell started spreading as soon as I
opened the package.  It hasn't been five minutes, and already five 
passersby have stuck their heads into my office to joke about it.

I wonder why it is that people feel this is a significant enough event,
in the greater scheme of things, that they must not only devote 
valuable cogitation time to it, but verbal comment as well?  People will
materialize out of the woodwork like wraiths, when the building seemed
virtually empty shortly before.  It reminds me of the equally peevesome 
way that people feel compelled to jokingly ask, "Hey, wanna do mine next?"
whenever they see someone washing his car.


Geoff


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Geoff Miller                    + + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM  + + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
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Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Sweating
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 92 22:01:40 GMT

Well, finally!  After two weeks of continual torture and mental
gymnastics (head games), I have finally managed to wriggle out
from under a mistake I had made.

Some of you may recall my rant from yesterday.  Man, I thought I
was gonna lose it.  Had anyone who doesn't know me looked at me
or approached me, they probably wouldn't have realized how upset
I was yesterday.  So I've cast myself free of that unwarranted
and unwanted burden and I feel like me again.  If you want to
check to make sure, you can feel me too.

I can't believe how much more relaxed I am today than I was
yesterday.  I can only imagine the utter horror that some poor
guy might find himself living if he were to ever marry that
loser.  I am only glad that I denied her my essence, even though
she obviously sensed my power.  (A little ObMovie ref, there, from
Dr. Strangelove which was very thoughtfully broadcast by TNT last
night and which I watched in a semi-intoxicated state.)

I only hope that the break was a clean one.  It all seemed too easy.
I can see myself becoming a stalking victim with this babe.  So...

!Peeve:  Ol' Russ Kepler's around these parts and I just got finished
         talking with him on the phone.  I'll have to take him to some
         decent eatery around here to show him that New Mexico doesn't
         have a lock on that sort of thing.  But that will be tomorrow.

Peeve:   The lines to see Dracula are probably STILL gonna suck tonight.
         (Get it?  HAHAHAHAHA!)
--
No, you do not know me.
Yes, I KNOW I look like someone you know.  - Bill Berbenich, net.hedonist
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: hillman@carina.unm.edu (Dan Hillman)
Subject: Re: Burnt Popcorn Peeve
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 92 21:48:04 GMT
Organization: Holy Order of Quadra 950 Lust

In article <lgo4vcINNdl1@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
>
>Have you ever noticed that whenever you burn microwave popcorn at the
>office, people come from miles around to comment on it?  

That's because (a) they don't have enough work to do, or; (b) they
do not fear for their jobs. Both of these states can be altered.

>It hasn't been five minutes, and already five 
>passersby have stuck their heads into my office to joke about it.

See above.

>I wonder why it is that people feel this is a significant enough event,
>in the greater scheme of things, that they must not only devote 
>valuable cogitation time to it, but verbal comment as well?

This illness is closely related to the one in which the victim must
make comments about the weather, e.g., "Hot enough for you?," "Cold
enough for you?," or, my personal fave rave, "It's really raining
out there, huh?"

>People will
>materialize out of the woodwork like wraiths, when the building seemed
>virtually empty shortly before.

They're not really your office "workers," Geoff. They're supernatural
spectator entities. See Ray Bradbury's short story "The Crowd."

>It reminds me of the equally peevesome 
>way that people feel compelled to jokingly ask, "Hey, wanna do mine next?"
>whenever they see someone washing his car.

<blush> I confess, I did this *once* when my landlord was washing his car.
The cool thing was that he said "sure." The guy actually *liked*
to wash cars. He even *waxed* the thing!  Sheesh.

Dan
-- 
Shirl giggled and handed me something. "A Beretta P92SB," she said. "Ain't
it cute? Holds fifteen rounds, shoots jacketed hollow-points. This week we
tell them they're not in touch with their feelings, next week we blow their
fucking heads off. More coffee cake?"  -- Cynthia Heimel
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (Red Jack)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Halfwits.
Date: 19 Nov 92 23:26:56 GMT
Organization: The San Jose Home for Perverted Hackers

smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:

>In article <5842@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (All of our represanatives are still busy; please continue to hold) writes:
>>smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:
>>
>>>In article <ATAYLOR.92Nov13083841@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
>>
>>>>ObPeeve: hoser halfwits displaying the usual Canuck inferiority
>>>>	 complex with the usual pseudo-cultured Canuck accent.
>>
>>>	Hmf?  This one missed me completely.  As a matter of fact, someone
>>>once commented to me that I sounded like an American.
>>
>>That's because you *are* an American, Shawn.

>	That was below the belt.

Pish-posh.  Too bad.

>>"It's hard to tell Canadians apart from really boring white people,
>>unless they're dressed up to go outside."
>>National Lampoon: "Foreigners and How They Got There."

>	Then we look stylish.  ;)  We might be boring, but would you rather
>be bordered by Libya?  I thought not.

If we were bordered by Libya, then we would have fixed the problem
long ago. The only reason why we have yet to invade Canada is that you
are amusing. Next to Brian Mulroney, even James Earl Carter looks
good, peanut farmer cracker he may be. Why your little country has resisted
becoming the next ten states for so long still puzzles us. If anything
you and your countrymen have persisted in toadying to the various kings
and queens of Britian longer than any of the other subjects of the crown.
Clearly running Canada as a colony was not profitable but the crown
kept it on as a reminder of what their very own citizenry once was.

-- 
"If I had killed her when I had first thought about getting divorced,
 I would have been out of jail by now."
	-- A newly-divorced guy I met at a block party
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.religion.kibology
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: Kibo's .signature
Keywords: I HATE CROSSPOSTERS
Organization: Two rooms filled with typography, in downtown Boston
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 06:05:36 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.202734.9179@news.media.mit.edu> asb@media.mit.edu (Amy Bruckman) writes:
>>_____________________________________________________________________________
>>
>>"100% gist-free!"  -- Amy S. Brockman on Kibo's .signature.
>>                      Compliment... or CONSPIRACY?
>>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>I've made it into Kibo's .signature!  I'm famous!  Kibo, I'm touched--
>you even remembered to spell my name wrong!

You owe me another lunch, now.  How's the paper?  Need more tape?  I can
read you my acceptance speeches...
						-- K.
						I am *not* my .signature
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: esp51@cas.org ()
Subject: Genetic aberations and armchair existentialism, was:Size usurpers
Organization: Chemical Abstracts Service, Columbus, Ohio
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 20:41:09 GMT

 (Eric Minch) writes:
>new pair of blue jeans. My needs are simple: waist somewhere around
>34", length somewhere around 36". This size is *my* size, and I'm happy
>to share it with anybody else who's 6'4" and 195#, male or female. What

In the upcoming 4th Reich, your aberrant specifications will not be
tolerated, you will be forced to amputate 6 inches of your leg.
Seriously though, I also had difficulty finding shirts the right size
at department stores until I stumbled upon the Big and Tall catalogue
at JCPennys.  You call in your order, and the next day it's delivered
to your door UPS, no groping though racks of clothes hoping to find
your size.
peeve: I prefer xl shirts because they are loose and comfortable,
but they are never long enough.  After 2 washings, they shrink lenghtwise,
and therefore won't stay tucked in.  After 4 washings, the hemline(?)
rides about an inch above bellybutton, displaying a crossection of
bulging, pale, hairy flesh, which is nice for autoventilation in summer,
but rather drafty in winter.  Solution: size xlxt.

>Second grade teacher when asked who would care if the universe would not
>have been created: "There are some things we were not meant to know".
>meant to know". (Above accidently deleated)

That's actually a fairly normal question for a second grader to ask,
and I see you got the standard canned reply.  The correct answer is
actually "noone".  Just because the human condition limits our ability
to imagine the universe with out us in it (try it), doesn't mean that
the universe was organized around our mental limitations.

peeve: bible thumpers who won't even take this baby step into existentialism.
Their answer: blind faith in comforting fairytales and an occasional
crusade to disembowel those who don't see it their way.

Scott Park
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Poodleslayer)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: More Officemate Peeves (was: Halfwits.)
Date: 18 Nov 92 21:06:54 GMT
Reply-To: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Menlo Park, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



booter writes:

>Incessant flame wars and driver/car peeves wear thin after a while. 

Okay, then here's something in a different (and I hope, refreshing) 
vein.

I've peeved before about my officemate, but now there's a new facet
to turn my attention to, however unwillingly.

Due to things getting rather busy `round these parts, she's gotten 
into the habit of eating lunch at her desk.  This has the effect of
extending all the previously mentioned peevesome things into what was
heretofore a quiet hour, a temporal oasis of blessed silence and solitude:
she continues to use the telephone (between bites) and to talk to me 
while I'm trying to work and peeve, and people continue dropping by at 
intervals to chat -- particularly this one guy with a John F. Kennedy 
accent who's just about impossible to tune out because he's so loud.

Having lots of visitors in one's office goes hand in glove with having an attractive and sociable French female for an officemate, unfortunately.  ("Out!  Out!  Everybody get the HELL out of here!  Move it! Movemovemovemovemove!")  At least her little friend The Short Chatterbox Feminist got shipped off to Japan for several glorious months, and then 
was relocated to another building when she came back.  

Peeve: compulsive talkers, and verbose people in general.  Loud people,
       too.  (Why are so many people from the East Coast so damn loud?) 


Now for the new, added attraction.  

As I've attempted to make abundantly clear before, I like my officemate
and get along splendidly with her, despite the things she does that I
find peevesome.  But now that she eats lunch in here almost every day,
I've discovered that she gulps when she swallows liquids.  Loudly.  As 
in so loud, it almost sounds like she's doing it on purpose.  It reminds 
me of the sound effects in Three Stooges movies, in fact:  "Ulp, ulp, ulp,
ulp!"  It drives me fucking *nuts!*  How can she not be aware that she's
doing it?

And the frustrating thing is that I can't do anything about it. I'm quite 
an assertive person generally, but even I have my limits and recognize the
need for diplomacy -- particularly when it comes to people I have to work 
with every day, if not bedwetters like Minch.  This makes me even more
peeved.  


Geoff


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     "Anybody can fuck a pig; it takes a Marine to fuck a pig to death."
                                               -- Dan Hillman
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From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Baby peeve - registration of birth
Date: 16 Nov 92 12:31:40 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

Here in Victorian England^H^H^H^H^H^H^HBritain, the powers-that-be demand
that if the parents are not married, then both must be present at the
registration of the child's birth. As I explained at some length, and
at some heat, on the phone to the idiot at the Registrar, this achieves
nothing except exposing a two week old child to nasty weather and germs.

There are, however, two compensatory antipeeves:

#1. The baby will no doubt scream her little lungs out in the Registrar's
office.

#2. The parents must take their own birth certificates along. Since one
parent is Greek, one parent's birth certificate is in Greek. We'll see
how good the registrar's Greek is - I don't think "Two plates of moussaka
and a bottle of retsina" will cut it, heh heh!!




-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

"I have to scan these posts in case Jeremy includes some line
out of context in his .sig" - FriendOfFernandoKhomeini.
From: alrobins@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Amanda Robinson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Courier eeeeeeediot Peeve
Date: 20 Nov 92 03:07:50 GMT
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester MI.

dab@ism.isc.com (Dave Butterfield) writes:
>01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:
>>It's been known to go to 40 below in Nova Scotia.
>
>Is that Fahrenheit or centigrade?

Doesn't matter: -40 degrees Fahrenheit is -40 degrees Celsius.  It is the only
temperature at which they are equal.  Check it with calculator if you don't   
believe me.

ObPeeve: people who use technical (aka "real") terms when they know d*mn well
no one else will know the term.
From: henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING (was Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night))
Date: 15 Nov 1992 18:49:19 GMT
Organization: U. C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
NNTP-Posting-Host: headcrash.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov15.033926.25794@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:
>In <1e4aa4INNn27@agate.berkeley.edu> henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken) writes:
>
>>Peeve:  The false crap people say to be nice.  Shoot straight, Bill. 
>
>Okay.  Henken, you're a dick.

That's better.

Matthew J. Henken
henken@ocf.berkeley.edu
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: And just what the fuck do Canuks know about beer?
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 19:29:59 GMT

In <BxrpIp.8pq@cs.dal.ca> smith@ug.cs.dal.ca (Sean Smith) writes:

>In article <5841@catnip.berkeley.ca.us> dre@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (All of our 
represanatives are still busy; please continue to hold) writes:
>>And where did you get this idea that Canadians know anything about beer?
>>
>>They live in a cold climate and can't brew a decent ale.
>>
>>They get hot in the summer and can't even make a decent lager to drink.

> I beg to differ.  

> Most American beers are available up here for the same price as 
>Canadian beer, but the Canadian beer still outsells the American stuff. 

As if popularity had ANYTHING to do with quality...

 As 
>well, when my father was in New Orleans a few years back, a guy in a bar asked
>him where he was from.  When Dad said Halifax, the guy said, "Oh yeah - that's
>where they make Moosehead," which was a very popular beer down there (or so
>they guy told Dad).

New Orleans has many fine qualities to recommend it, but its taste in 
beverages isn't one of them... any town that would ruin a perfectly good cup of
coffee by putting chicory in it probably isn't the Beer Mecca of America, or 
the South, or even Louisiana.

--

Tom Dennis                    |  I looked into the abyss,
dennis@alexia.uiuc.edu        |    and the abyss looked into me--
tadg0614@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu     |      and we both winked.
From: jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Get outta my face, fuckwit!
Date: 23 Nov 92 11:58:20 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

The purpose of our August Learning Institution is to find out really
fascinating stuff about the Earth we live on. Of course spending a 
goodly amount of time reading the News and corresponding with Mike Holmes
on the pros and cons of mortgage tax relief does not subsatntially advance
this cause. But then neither does buggering around producing silly programs
with fancy graphics and sofistickated interfaces, which bleep and make coffee
while displaying a movie depicting a stroll through all the world's major
art galleries. It's just another form of tossing around. The difference
being that one is being payed for out of the tax-payers' pockets and the
other isn't. So stop bugging me about wasting time, and piss off back to
yer OWN compu-wank!!

More "co-worker" peeves - folk with knackered diskettes who want them
fixed with "Disk Doctor". I bought DD because it was worth #50 to me to
be able to recover from my own dumb mistakes. You made a mistake? Ask
yourself how much it's worth to you to recover from it. #25? Yergottadeal.

But if, in my infinite kindness I DO take your rotten diskette home and 
recover the data, and put it on another diskette, maybe you could think
about maybe returning my diskette to me sometime?

Irately,

-- 
===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

Seen on rec.arts.books "Characters and plot are the exemplar components
of mundane fiction. I do not care to see them at all"
Newsgroups: alt.peeves