HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: djoiner@lonestar.utsa.edu (David A. Joiner)
Subject: Re: parrot sketch
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 23:13:29 GMT


>->>->> Pag smurf this is an ex-parrot
>->>->Does it talk?
>->>->Andrew smurf obviously not!
>->>Pag smurf no but the slug does..
>->Lisa smurf I'd like to buy a license for Eric, my pet slug.....
>Pag smurf that'll be 74 pounds please. Otherwise we send round the slug
>        detector van.
dave smurf Just try it you feind!  See if you get past the
salt lick.  Oh my, there goes Eric.
Never Mind.
From: che238n@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Hello?????
Date: 5 Oct 92 09:55:53 +1000
Organization: Computer Centre, Monash University, Australia

Hey Ratboy, where are you?

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Eeek! It's a rat tart! 
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1992 23:54:36 GMT

What's all this then? 

It's Ratboy! Am I back? I believe I am...

And now for something not too different but I've been gone a while and it's a 
little different to me, you see..

Ratboy aka Bally Jerry ...banged my kite right in the how's-your-father...
From: 9035893@ul.ie
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Looking for the holy grail - Isn't everyone ...
Date: 30 Sep 92 12:04:13 GMT
Organization: University of Limerick, Ireland


 I know that there must be fifty posts like this one a month, but if some-one
out there has a copy of _The Holy Grail_ script, could the mail it to me at 
this address.  

 Thanks... 

    Chopper
--
David Knowles             /   |      Demonic frenzy, moping melancholy and
9035893@itd1.ul.ie      (/) --+--     moon-struck madness.
knowlesd@itdsrv1.ul.ie  /  ---+---            - Milton, Paradise Lost
                          . . |  .
                         -----------   This message was dictated.
From: goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: When I was a kid...
Date: 6 Oct 92 13:02:23 CDT
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

In article <1992Oct6.013101.2675@tamsun.tamu.edu>, mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver) writes:
> 
> 
> You know, when I was a wee lad in high school some friends of mine at a party
> started handing around some cheese...and...and I tried a bit...that's all!
> But the next time they started dressing up as mice a bit...and squeeking...
> 
> I was shocked!
> 
> But, eventually, I came to be more comfortable around mice than I was around 
> humans. Thus, I am....Ratboy.
> 
> SQUEEK!
> 
> Check your wainscotting! Ratboy is armed and dangerous! Call the Ratcatcher!
> I'll shoot him! Armed to the pointy teeth, with my best sheep by my side 
> (Basil, you know) I'll kick yer teeth in if given half a chance! Ftang! Ftang!
> 

Ratboy--you really should give yourself up. You know I'm going to
catch you. And when I do, you'll be the happiest--oops, I meant most
unhappy--Ratboy in the whole idea of Rat-opolis. But if you're good,
really good, maybe we could work a deal... 
	Signed, 
		The Other Ratcatcher aka Gina aka a lot of things
>
From: goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: RE: Get the comfy chair !
Date: 6 Oct 92 12:38:59 CDT
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

In article <6OCT92.00455306@vax.clarku.edu>, jsarna@vax.clarku.edu writes:
> In a forthcoming article, goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet summarizes Proust:
>>In article <3OCT92.21402079@vax.clarku.edu>, jsarna@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>>> In a previous article, jwlr@escher.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) 
>>> foams at the mouth and falls over backwards:
>>>>>> **********************************************************************
>>>>>>* The views expressed in this article do not reflect the views of any  *
>>>>>>* organisation or person except my own.                                *
>>>>>>*                                                                      *
>>>>>>* "Did I ask too much, more than a lot?,                               *
>>>>>>* You gave me nothing, now that's all that I've got"  U2               *
>>>>>> **********************************************************************
>>>> 
>>>>>Hmmm. The U2 quote seems rather relevent to this posting, I believe.
>>>> 
>>>>>Ratboy aka has nothing to say.
>>>>James <=== same here
>>> Well, if you held these views up to a mirror, they'd certainly reflect then,
>>> wouldn't they?  HA!!  You never thought of that, did you?  Well, You'd better
>>> think more carefully the next time you write one of those poxy disclaimers, 
>>> eh?
>>> 
>>> 					peace,
>>> 					Fievel
>>WEll now. Rat-bashing are we? What if I claimed to be ineligible to
>>claim the disclaimer that was claimed before I started to claim
>>disclaimers? What if I made sense every once in a while....
>>		Love and all that for those who need it....
>>			Gina
>>> 
> Pardon me, but it's my God-given right to bash rats if I want to!  
> BTW, according to my records, your policy states that no claim you ever
> make will be paid.
> 				piece,
> 				Fievel

Excuse me, Fievel, but I wan tto be the one to bash rats. I hear they
are actually very good in the late night hours...

So you found out that my claims might not be paid...That doesn't mean
I won't get paid, now does it.

Piece?!??  What, are you lonely? 
	What've you got to say NOW????>>>>>>>>>>>Gina 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Subject: new topic
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 04:55:29 GMT

Vote for your favorite a.f.m.per here.

Vote for your top 3 fav's and I will tabulate
the winner in one week......

Just something to still the boredom....

Jester aka vote for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- 
I am the chill that runs down your spine.
I am the surprise in your cereal box.
I am the hair on the lens of your projector.
I am the metal key on the sardine can of justice.
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Jester & Me sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Date: 5 Oct 92 22:03:37 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center

(ratfink) writes:
>>}>}>}>}We Now return you to our regular interruption.
>>}>}>}>yes....it was..so sue me..i kant spel.....
>>}>}>}Right! I'm calling my lawyer! 
>>}>}>whats his name??? and does he like men?
>>}>}Of course not! He likes goats.
>>}>shaved or unshaved????? with or without horns
>>}He likes unshaved real raw dead goat...gotta escape prosecution...
>>so i noticed.....but i will rat to inspector clitoris.
>Hey! Watch it! You're using my species' name in vain!

thats the general idea ya scum....

>>}>}>}>}>quit making fun of me, please guys.
>>}>}>}>}Make fun of you? Never. Your .sig? Sure, why knot?
>>}>}>}>ooo.....you make me so mad..of course you know that
>>}>}>}>this means war....
>>}>}>}Oooooh! We're gonna have another WAR!!
>>}>}>yep...and this time....no guns allowed..only
>>}>}>waterbaloons..
>>}>}Does that include my bazooka too? It looks like a waterbaloon from a distance
>>}>well..i guess...but don't point that thing at me.
>>}Hey! It has a mind of its own...
>>yes..its aimed at my mind..now quit it!!!!!
>Oh. Sorry. Maybe it has *my* mind...

quit letting technology take over your very small mind...

>>}>}>}>}>}Maje S aka Pallindromes 'R Us
>>}>}>}>}>jester squig that it..quit using aka's or i'll have to kill you.
>>}>}>}>}Same J aka Come over here and say that, big boy!
>>}>}>}>Jester squig okkay..but where are you anyways?
>>}>}>}Mesaj <=== I am in Hell, soldier boy!!
>>}>}>Jester squig but I'm not in the army.....
>>}>}Ratboy squid That's no excuse! Now, Private! Kill that buffalo!
>>}>Jester squig Just say no!!!!
>>}Ratboy aka do I have to?
>>Jester squig...err.....no?
>Ratboy octopus ...oh. ok, then.
Jester clam good...now what do we talk about now?
-- 
I am the chill that runs down your spine.
I am the surprise in your cereal box.
I am the hair on the lens of your projector.
I am the metal key on the sardine can of justice.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: and now these massages
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 20:38:12 GMT

>}>}>}>}We Now return you to our regular interruption.
>}>}>}>yes....it was..so sue me..i kant spel.....
>}>}>}Right! I'm calling my lawyer! 
>}>}>whats his name??? and does he like men?
>}>}Of course not! He likes goats.
>}>shaved or unshaved????? with or without horns
>}He likes unshaved real raw dead goat...gotta escape prosecution...
>so i noticed.....but i will rat to inspector clitoris.
Hey! Watch it! You're using my species' name in vain!

>}>}>}>}>quit making fun of me, please guys.
>}>}>}>}Make fun of you? Never. Your .sig? Sure, why knot?
>}>}>}>ooo.....you make me so mad..of course you know that
>}>}>}>this means war....
>}>}>}Oooooh! We're gonna have another WAR!!
>}>}>yep...and this time....no guns allowed..only
>}>}>waterbaloons..
>}>}Does that include my bazooka too? It looks like a waterbaloon from a distance
>}>well..i guess...but don't point that thing at me.
>}Hey! It has a mind of its own...
>yes..its aimed at my mind..now quit it!!!!!
Oh. Sorry. Maybe it has *my* mind...

>}>}>}>}>}Maje S aka Pallindromes 'R Us
>}>}>}>}>jester squig that it..quit using aka's or i'll have to kill you.
>}>}>}>}Same J aka Come over here and say that, big boy!
>}>}>}>Jester squig okkay..but where are you anyways?
>}>}>}Mesaj <=== I am in Hell, soldier boy!!
>}>}>Jester squig but I'm not in the army.....
>}>}Ratboy squid That's no excuse! Now, Private! Kill that buffalo!
>}>Jester squig Just say no!!!!
>}Ratboy aka do I have to?
>Jester squig...err.....no?
Ratboy octopus ...oh. ok, then.
From: Jeremy_Reimer@mindlink.bc.ca (Jeremy Reimer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: You know you're in trouble...
Date: 7 Oct 92 02:36:16 GMT
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada

When the first line of a a.f.m-p post starts with something like:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


--
Jeremy_Reimer@ |"Anti-ninjas were the most feared assassins in the world.
mindlink.bc.ca | Instead of appearing out of thin air, throwing metal stars
---------------| and messing around with bo staffs and numchuks they simply
aka THE JAGUAR!| shot people and then drove everyone mad with pointless
---------------| conspiracy theories for years afterwards."
Stealth Sig#42 |  --From "N-Man #3"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney)
Subject: Re: Short Notice
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 18:01:36 GMT

>>>>>>.>>>>What is Aka.......
>>>>>>.>>>Jamesa aka <--- This is!
>>>No, it isn't!
>>Will that be 5 minutes or the full half-hour?
>That was never 5 minutes just now...
Yes it was... it was just wearing a very good disguise.

>>>>>>.>>Chris <--- I didn't think that the spelling had changed.  Thanks for
>>>>>>.>>informing us all.
>>>>>>.>Jamus <--- No prob. Public Service and all that rot. That rot!
>>>>>>What rot?  It's that smelly, discoloured stuff I just ate. [burp]
>>>>>Hey!! I was saving that for a special occasion!!
>>>>>Now where am I gonna get a Salmon Moose on such short notice?
>>>Salmon Moose bites can be very nasty... A moose bit my sister once.
>>My sister bit a salmon once...
>I bit my sister once...
Atlantic. (or was it twice?)

>>>> I'd rather have mine a plate.  It's so much less messier that way, and the
>>>> short notice is still readable afterwards.
>>>If it's a short notice, you can read it before you put the moose
>>>on it.  If it's long, you cut it into little bits and fry it up
>>>with a little Worcestershire sauce.
>>Well, it's just that (pause) I'd rather eat Johnson, sir.
>But he's not koshir!
Of course he's not. He's Peter. I would have thought you'd know the
crew by now! 

>>>>>>.Chris <--- If it's rotten, throw it out!  Or feed it to Jos.  
>>>>>>Dan <--- Sorry mate, but I can't give it to the Jos as I just finished 
>>>>>>it.  Mebbe we could find some moldy cheese or a bloated carp for the 
>>>>>>little guy, he must be famished.
>>>>>James <=== Nope. Fresh out of cheese. It's not much of a cheese shop is it?
>>>> Meetch aka Finest in the district sir!
>>>Andrew aka it's very clean!
>>James <=== OH! The cat's eaten it!
>Ratboy <--Tell me about it! I barely got away! lost a whisker too!
MSNio >> (00Nio ???)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney)
Subject: Re: Short Notice
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 02:37:58 GMT


>>>>>>>>.>>>>What is Aka.......
>>>>>>>>.>>>Jamesa aka <--- This is!
>>>>>No, it isn't!
>>>>Will that be 5 minutes or the full half-hour?
>>>That was never 5 minutes just now...
>>Yes it was... it was just wearing a very good disguise.
>Ah, I see...well it isn't particularly silly is it?
Well you ain't seen the colour of it's nose yet.

>>>>>>>>.>>Chris <--- I didn't think that the spelling had changed.  Thanks for
>>>>>>>>.>>informing us all.
>>>>>>>>.>Jamus <--- No prob. Public Service and all that rot. That rot!
>>>>>>>>What rot?  It's that smelly, discoloured stuff I just ate. [burp]
>>>>>>>Hey!! I was saving that for a special occasion!!
>>>>>>>Now where am I gonna get a Salmon Moose on such short notice?
>>>>>Salmon Moose bites can be very nasty... A moose bit my sister once.
>>>>My sister bit a salmon once...
>>>I bit my sister once...
>>Atlantic. (or was it twice?)
>Pacific. (I thought it was a baker's dozen)
Nope. Just 12. Are you Hugh?

>>>>>> I'd rather have minea plate.  It's so much less messier that way, and the
>>>>>> short notice is still readable afterwards.
>>>>>If it's a short notice, you can read it before you put the moose
>>>>>on it.  If it's long, you cut it into little bits and fry it up
>>>>>with a little Worcestershire sauce.
>>>>Well, it's just that (pause) I'd rather eat Johnson, sir.
>>>But he's not koshir!
>>Of course he's not. He's Peter. I would have thought you'd know the
>>crew by now! 
>Of course I do! Wait...this isn't the Titanic!
<blub>

>>>>>>>>.Chris <--- If it's rotten, throw it out!  Or feed it to Jos.  
>>>>>>>>Dan <--- Sorry mate, but I can't give it to the Jos as I just finished 
>>>>>>>>it.  Mebbe we could find some moldy cheese or a bloated carp for the 
>>>>>>>>little guy, he must be famished.
>>>>>>>James <= Nope. Fresh out of cheese. It's not much of a cheese shop is it?
>>>>>> Meetch aka Finest in the district sir!
>>>>>Andrew aka it's very clean!
>>>>James <=== OH! The cat's eaten it!
>>>Ratboy <--Tell me about it! I barely got away! lost a whisker too!
>>MSNio >> (00Nio ???)
>Ratboy >>> Seargent
mNSiosdfkjshfjhsakdjfhasjaka
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: parrot sketch
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:55:55 GMT

>> >->>->>->> Pag aka this is an ex-parrot
>> >->>->>->Does it talk?
>> >->>->>->Andrew aka obviously not!
>> >->>->>Pag aka no but the slug does..
>> >->>->Lisa aka I'd like to buy a license for Eric, my pet slug.....
>> >->>Pag aka that'll be 74 pounds please. Otherwise we send round the slug 
>> >->>        detector van.
>> >->N-N-N-Not th-th-th-the SLUG DETECTOR VAN!  {jarring chord}
>> >->Ratboy aka has nothing to fear...unless they take varmints too... 
>> > Well we could send for the RATBOY detector van if you want
>> Would you please? It has been so long since I was detected...I almost
>> forgot what it's like. 
>> >Pag aka no where was that poi*** I had.
>> Ratboy aka it's up there in the cab***.
>Cabana?
>Caboon?
>Cabuta?
>Caboto?
Actually I was thinking more along the lines of cabdriver-with-a-big-arse-and-a-thick-accent-even-an-ambassador-couldn't-understand-and-you-know-he-charges-you-an-arm-and-a-leg-and-how-are-we-going-to-get-there-with-only-one-leg?  

>PKT fnork watchermean, mate?
Ratboy spork NOT THE WATCHERMEAN! AAAAAHAHHHHHHHHH!
From: jwlr@escher.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: and now those massages
Date: 1 Oct 92 20:46:34 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) spits in the face of danger:
>jwlr@dali.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) vomits extrudinous bbody parts:
>}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) leaps onto the tracks and snags the fair maiden just in time to pull her out of the way of the rapidly approaching super-bullet train:
>}>}jwlr@gauguin.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer) writes:
>}>}jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) beats his hairy chess bored:
>}>}>no, please no....i itch all over right now..please now
>}>}><we interrupt for these unimportant messages}
>}>}>jester really liks to itch so please make him suffer in glee.
>}>}We interrupt   ^^^^
>}>}this
>}>}interuption
>}>}to ask the
>}>}burning
>}>}question:
>}>}Could this be a Froodian slip?
>}>}We Now return you to our regular interruption.
>}>yes....it was..so sue me..i kant spel.....
>}Right! I'm calling my lawyer! 
>whats his name??? and does he like men?
Eric Njorl. Yes, on toast.

>}>}>quit making fun of me, please guys.
>}>}Make fun of you? Never. Your .sig? Sure, why knot?
>}>ooo.....you make me so mad..of course you know that
>}>this means war....
>}Oooooh! We're gonna have another WAR!!
>yep...and this time....no guns allowed..only
>waterbaloons..
What about point-ed sticks...

>}>}>}Maje S aka Pallindromes 'R Us
>}>}>jester squig that it..quit using aka's or i'll have to kill you.
>}>}Same J aka Come over here and say that, big boy!
>}>Jester squig okkay..but where are you anyways?
>}Mesaj <=== I am in Hell, soldier boy!!
>Jester squig but I'm not in the army.....
Jamus fnord How about the Navy, then? (in cream sauce)
>-- 
>I am the rain that hits on your cloud parade.
>I am the no. 90 sunstop that will burn your block.
>I am the trim that hedges your clipper.
>I am the throwor that keys away the jail.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: FAQ list
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 07:05:54 GMT

>>>>>>>Question 1		Is Vic there ?
>>>>>>Question 2		Is your refrigerator running?
>>>>>Question 54 oops 3      How does Anne Elk's (not an elk) Brontasaurus theory
>>>>>                        affect SPAM farming in the Congo?  
>>   Question 3b		Whose theory is it?
>>>>Question 4		There is NO QUESTION 4!!!
>>>>Question 6		What are the odds that I am an infinite number of
>>>>			monkeys typing for an infinite number of hours?
>>>>Question 7		How?
>>>>Question 8		Why didn't you include 'Question 5'?
>>>>Question 9		Lemon Curry?
>>>>Question 10		Why did you say 'Good Morning'?
>>>>Question 11		What are you doing with that nectari...URRGH! <thump>
>>> Question 12            Would you like a 16 ton weight dropped on top of
>>>			_you_,Eric?
>>> Question 13		Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
>>> Question 14		Do you want to come back to my place?
>>                                                              Bouncy, bouncy?
>>> Question 15		Do you want to come upstairs...or have you come
>>>			to arrange a holiday?
>>  Question 16		What's that penguin doing on the telly?
>>  Question 17a		What is your name?
>>  Question 17b		What is your quest?
>>  Question 17ci		What is your favorite color?
>>  Question 17cii	What is the air-speed velocity of a sparrow?
>>  Question 18		Could somebody post the script for ****** ?
>>  Question 19		Is your name not Bruce, then?
>>  Question 20		Are you insinuating something?
>   Question 21		Can we borrow your head for a piece of animation?
>   Question 22		Did those feet in ancient times walk upon England's
>			mountains green?
>   Question 23		Did somebody here say "mattress"?
>   Question 24		What do we mean when we talk about things?
>   Question 24a		What do I mean by the word "mean"?
>   Question 24b		What do I mean by the word "word"?
>   Question 24c		What do I mean by "what do I mean"?
>   Question 24d         What do I mean by wasting your time like this?
    Question 25         What does "aka" stand for?
    Question 26         Que?
    Question 27         Is the Third Test in here?
    Question 28         Dinsdale?
    Question 29         What's all this then?
    Question 30         You mean poo-poos?
    Question 31         Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now?
    Question 32         What do penguins eat?
    Question 32a            Henri Bergson?
    Question 33         Is your wife a....a goer?

Ratboy (Mrs.)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: Compliant
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:42:54 GMT

>>>>>All I wanted for Christmas was the red rider 400 air rifle
>>>>You'll put you're eye out.
>>>A rife? What do you want a rifle for? It might bite you!
>>Here! We'll have no rife in here...I just cleaned the floors! ...always
>>bringing in things from the dustbin... 
>Oh, there is a rifle in here... or did I dream it?
...and next time forget the myhrr...i mean myrrh..i mean mhyrr...hymmr...shit.

>>>MNSuuoi
>>Ratboy aka Bishop of Leischter or summat like that...
>No... you're thinking of Bath and Welles.
>MNSio
Ratboy tart...disgusting!

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mfc1493@tamuts.tamu.edu (Michael Frank Caver)
Subject: Re: History of the World ... Television
Organization: ~/lib/organization
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 07:08:05 GMT

>I am desperately trying to find a complete VHS video library of "The History of the
>World According to Television," the pre-Python series on BBC that starred Michael
>Palin, Terry Jones, John Cleese and Terry Gilliam. The premise of the series is that`
>television was around all along and you see various points in history, such as
>"the showers" after the Pelopanesian Wars, and interviews with wounded knights from
>the Crusades.
>The show was highlighted on the 20-year anniversary of Python on Showtime (in the U.S.)
>and that's what started my search.
>Please, anyone who can help? Is there a BBC address I can write to? Does anyone have
>the show on tape? Complete?
>I'm willing to pay, including shipping and handling.
>
>Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody.
>Well ... actually, anybody's help will do.
>
>						Thank you muchly,
>						Saint

I believe you mean "The Complete and Utter History of Britain"...at least
that's what it sounded like form the description...and it only had Palin and
Jones...

                                                Not at all,
                                                Ratboy (St.)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python