From: michael.polymenakos@factory.com (Michael Polymenakos) 
Newsgroups: Soc.culture.greek,soc.culture.turkish,soc.culture.europe
Subject: Inside information from the M.U.T.L.U project.
Date: 3 Sep 92 19:17:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Invention Factory's BBS - New York City, NY - 212-274-1243v.32bis
Reply-To: michael.polymenakos@factory.com (Michael Polymenakos) 


Another news clipping from BYTEWEEK:
  ANKARA, TURKEY 8/4/92. Reported by Ella McCoos.
  While the official reaction is to deny the reports about the existence
  of an AI (Artificial Insulter) program code-named M.U.T.L.U.,
  this reporter has managed to locate and interview one of the
  developers of the MUTLU project. Mr. X (as we'll call him), of the Turkish
  Institute of Really Neat Electronic Stuff, met with the reporter
  at an Ankara McMustafa fast food restaurant yesterday. The following
  conversation took place:

  Q: When did the MUTLU project begun?
  A: In 1987, it became apparent the MARTILLO (Major ARTIficial Lie
     Listing Organism), the Ministry's bionic project, was ineffective.
     MARTILLOs central processor was only partially human, but that was
     still a liability, as the system frequently faltered. We decided
     to create MUTLU, and take MARTILLO off-line as soon as possible. This
     has been achieved, although MARTILLO is still connected to USENET as
     a contigency back-up.

  Q: Where is the MUTLU project located?
  A: I honestly do not know. While working on MUTLU, on my way to
     work every day, I was tied up and blindfolded, and then placed in
     the trunk of a 1978 Ford Pinto. I was told that if I leaked out
     any information, arrangements would be made for the Pinto to
     be rear-ended.

  Q: What is the running platform for MUTLU?
  A: You realize that we could not have dependent on any of the major
     existing platforms for a project of this importance. DOS and
     Windows are run by well known Turk-haters, after all if you
     type "HBM" in the Wingbats font in Windows, them message is
     "I'll shove a finger down your hole, you blowhead".

     IBM OS/2, MVS or VM are similarly useless. The nickname "Big-Blue"
     and the striped blue IBM logo are obvious references to IBMs
     servititude to Greece, whose national color is blue, and has a
     striped blue flag.

     UNIX is also a cry for Turkish genocide. UNIX is an blatant
     acronym for UNIted with the cross (X), a clear reference to the
     Greece/Makarios conspiracy for Enosis.

     Don't forget about Apple. Their use of Greek imagery in
     the Mac OS (after all "ICON" is Greek for "image") completes
     the conspiracy triangle of Greek, Armenian and Russian
     Operating Systems.

     MUTLU is running under the OSMAN (Operating System for Malicious
     Accusations and Name-callings) computer architecture. In this
     innovative computer design, transistors are replaced by millions of
     whirling dervises, which rotare clock-wise or counter-clockwise,
     indicating 0 or 1. The system takes up a lot of space, but is completely
     bug proof, as the dervishes are obligated to bathe daily.
     We are currently running OSMAN at 4 MIPS (Malicious Lies Per Second).
     OSMAN/OS is fully mutluuser and mutlutasking, and can service hundreds
     of transactions per minute, for as long as they all conform to the
     OSMAN protocol.

  Q: When was MUTLU completed?
  A: The basic system was complete by late 1988, but the system could not
     go into full production until the SHAW (Spurious History Automatic
     Writer) component was completed in 1990. Once armed with SHAW quotes,
     the runs of MUTLU were highly successful. The original AT&T posting
     mechanism soon proved too vulnerable to protests from the outside, and
     was replaced by the ANADOLU component, which listens to no-one, and
     is virtually indestructible. MUTLU output volume has been steadily
     increasing ever since.

  Q: Netters looking at MUTLU output are very perplexed by the cross-posting
     lists used. Can you explain those to us?
  A: Oh, that's very simple. CAGLAN (Cross-post in All Groups, Lists And
     Nodes) determines the cross-posting lists with a simple algorithm.
     All messages are cross-posted to S.C.Greek, Turk and Europe. Messages
     containing any references to Cyprus are cross-posted to S.C.Soviet.
     Messages whose CRC is an even number are cross-posted to S.C.JEWISH,
     except on Italian national holidays or if the msg-id is a product of 3.5.
     Every message containing more that 54 occurances of the letter "H" is
     also cross-posted to a number of Enet groups. Finally,
     every posting that contains an even number of lines, and whose
     reading level is between 3.43 and 3.76 is cross-posted to news.sysadmin.
     Other randomly selected groups are then added to ensure a minimum of 8.
     Special care is taken to ensure that any reply appears in at least one
     more newsgroup than the message being replied to.

  At this point in the interview, a green Ford Pinto parked outside the
  McMoustafa restaurant. Mr X quickly tried to hide his face with the
  burger-wrapper, which unfortunately still contained a burger with
  special sauce. He then walked out of the restaurant, and proceeded
  to enter the trunk of the Pinto, which then sped away. We have not heard
  from Mr. X since, but we will continue to look for more clues regarding
  the previously secret MUTLU project.
  Reporting exclusively for ByteWeek,
  Ella McCoos.

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Newsgroups: soc.culture.turkish