From: sfjr@wam.umd.edu (Steve Russell)
Subject: Just Bitching
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 16:19:23 GMT

Im not sure why Im posting here.  I guess I just wanted to get something off
of my chest and this seems like a place where the incident Im talking about
might be relevant.

I recentley replied to a post about a Star Trek(new) episode where the ship's
doctor falls in love with a being who uses humanoid bodies as a host for it's
end when the parasite is forced to swithch to a female body at the end of the
show.

The person who posted this claimed that the character of Dr. Crusher ended
the relationship because she couldnt get past her "homophobia"

In my reply I defined (correctly?) homophobia as a "fear or loathing of 
homosexuals".  I added that having watched the episode in question I didnt
think the doctor feared or hated her exlover now, just that she was hetero-
sexual and the relationship couldnt be that anymore, which is regrettable,
but okay.


  This post reminded me of an incident I had at work that I never quite
resolved my anger about.  A coworker of mine who I think was experimenting
with bisexuality kept propositioning me, sometimes in humorous manner and
sometimes in a serious manner.  He had to have propositioned me at least
10 consecutive times.  Each time I gave him a polite, though albiet cryptic
"No Thankyou, I think you are a nice guy, but those arent my tastes"

   The last time this happened, a young radical lesbian coworker of mine was
present.  She sighed, and even growled at me.  She then made several comments
to the effect that I was being homophobic and something short of a monster.
I resented this intensely.  I felt like she was stepping over who I was,
which was all the worse considering the amount of unsolicited preaching she
had the habit of doing about tolerance for lifestyles apart from the norm.
  I had or tried to have conversations with her before about related matters.
Basically, Im a white mainstream hetero male who dosent care how anybody
lives as long as they dont try to make an undeserved problem for me.  I
feel that a lot of my coworker's radical ideas have validity and a place, but
being who I am Im not ready to jump on the bandwagon to live a life apart
from the masses.  When ever I expressed this view to her I got the impression
she was interpeting as "go to hell pervert".  That either I should experiment
with homosexuality, read as much fem literature as I can stomach or be labeled
as a homophobic white male oppressor.  In other words, either you are TOTALLY
a part of the "soloution" or you are very much the problem.

   She couldnt seem to accept the idea that a person could have homosexual 
friends, be in general tolerant, have no interest in being a homosexual,
not have an overpowering interest in homosexual politics, AND NOT be
homophobic.

  This, and her intolerance of what I felt was just me minding my own
business made me very angry.  Thankyou for reading this, because now that
I dumped it out I feel less angry.

  If anyone would like to give me thier opinions about this I think it would
be interesting.  Do people out there feel there is more to the definition
of homophobia then hating or fearing homosexuals?  Is the concept of someone
who has no problem with homosexuality, but has no desire to be one or immerse
themselves in the politics credible to many of you?

Thanks For Letting Me Rant

Steve R

own parasitc body.  Dr. Crusher falls in love with this being, but the relationsh
A
own parasitic body.  Dr. Crusher falls in love with this being, but the         
Newsgroups: alt.politics.homosexuality