From: narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: an idle observation
Date: 12 Jan 1993 07:52:37 GMT
Organization: UH Dept of Math
NNTP-Posting-Host: casc.math.uh.edu

In article <C0p5K7.BIF@cs.mcgill.ca> braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca (The Didi-Sprite) writes:
>In article <1im7pnINN78t@menudo.uh.edu> narxtc@casc.math.uh.edu (Noah Ramon) writes:
>
>[    ]
>
>>You should hear what I did with Jell-o at my Birthday party!
>
>The Didi-Sprite exercises her water-wings and 'flies' over to BiBulb.
>Hovering near his left shoulder she queries:  "Well?"  Then, in true
>spritely fashion, she observes:  "We are waiting, BiBulb!"
>
>----<--<@
>
>The Didi-Sprite
>Montreal * Canada
>
>braley@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca
>didi@geloser.login.qc.ca
>

Awww, come on, be cool! Well, okay... Gather around, children, and listen. 
By the way, those of you who have twitchy psychogastrointestinal systems
may be excused now...

Okay, first a quiz. How many of you have heard of Penn and Teller? That many?
Well, for those of you poor soles who don't know these two, they are
practitioners of guerilla magic. That is to say, they do the tricks that
David Copperfield or Doug Henning would do if they had the intestinal
fortitude. (What is it with me and intestines today? Next stop : Dr. Freud...)
So these two are the ones who have dumped 1000 cockroaches (live) on 
David Letterman - twice. They are the ones who teach you how to stab a fork
in your eye. They are the ones who have the books "Cruel Tricks For Dear 
Friends" and "How To Play With Your Food". They also do stuff like 
support James Randi and other non-weird cool stuff. Penn is the one
who came up with my standard reply to new-agers (with hyphen), "Newage.
One word. Rhymes with 'sewage'." 

Now then, I had a birthday party coming up. My birthday was in September, so
December 19th was the perfect date for the party. I would be 21, counting
from conception. (Thank Malik for that insight...) So we decided to have a 
nice little party. You know, a Beans show with me sweating and screaming all
all through that; some pies; dips, and then it hit me : Jesse told me about 
something that P&T did on some talk show once. It involved Jell-o (tm). 
Jell-o IS a trademarked term, but the story just won't soar with the
phrase "generic gelatin-based chilled dessert". So I thought, and realized 
I needed to have this done, just once, but soon. I then got "How To Play With
Your Food", and saw an actual recipe in there for the Jell-o. (Imagine that. 
Recipes for Jell-o. Instructions are on the box, for Ackwards's sake!) 
I remembered that my friend Mary was going to make something edible for me
on my birthday, but never got around to it. I talked to her, and she was 
willing to try this one for me. I gave her the book on Thursday, and let
her have at it. 

Saturday came, and with it came the party. We went out, picked everyone up
(imagine, if you will : six people in a subcompact car. Two in front and four
in back. Don't try this one at home, kids!), got the pies, and went on to 
Dan Electro's Guitar Bar. Cool. When we got there, Mary was waiting for us. 
She had a heart-shaped mold of _something_, and was being very careful 
with it. I helped her take it inside, and we set up for the show. 

Flash-forward to 1:30 a.m. Show's over, we're all tired and hungry. I get out
the dip and chips, then grin beautifically. We unseat whatever's in the 
mold, and lay it down on a serving tray. I then announced that I would serve 
the Jell-o. I took out my Helvetian Army Knife, and proceded to cut into the
heart. In a truly romantic move, the heart began to bleed - a dark red fluid
oozed forth from the wound, and was running onto the tray. I took my piece, 
dripped a little fluid on it, and swallowed. "Hmm, a bit SWEET, but okay!"
Everyone else is, of course, just looking with this blankly nervous stare at
me, then the Jell-o, then me, and so forth. 

Now, of course, the fluid wasn't blood. That would be too expensive. 
No, this stuff was a Grenadine mixture with cornstarch to thicken it up a bit.
Grenadine, for those of you who are unaware, is the goop that they pack 
maraschino cherries in. I mean, that is SWEET. So naturally, I can't have 
much, and people are interpeting this as "even he can't stomach it - what in 
gods's names is it?"

Well, people begin to take some of it, and we come clean on it. But that has
become the symbol of a good party : something that unites all in a common
thought. The thought that night? It was :

	EWWW! I - OH MY, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! HE'S ACTUALLY - URGGGHH...

That and "Gimme a piece of that pie!"

So you now know of the story of my Jell-o invasion at my party. Come back 
tomorrow, when you learn how dangerous white bread can be to one's
psychogastrointestinal system. (there I go with the intestines again...)

You DID ask, Ma'am!







--
*******************************************************************           
* Noah Ramon - The Bi-Bulb     * Your only limitation is your own *
* Mail to : narxtc@math.uh.edu * imagination - Beans Barton       *
*******************************************************************