HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: linda@gratton.net.com (Linda Hill)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Question about wedding rings
Date: 13 Aug 92 15:35:30 GMT
Organization: Network Equipment Technologies, Redwood City

>In article <1992Aug7.184523.11942@b8.ingr.com> tammy@b8.ingr.com (Tammy Hurt) writes:
>>In article <1683BD8E.O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU>, O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU (Debbie Adams) writes:
>> I have a question about the wedding rings.  I was told that the wedding
>> band is supposed to be closest to the heart so, therefore, you should
>> put the wedding band on first and then the engagement ring.  My question
>
>The engagement is given to the maid of honor to keep until the rings are 
>exchanged and she will give it back to the bride when she hands her back
>her flowers to her.

This is what I did at our wedding.

linda@net.com (no matter what it says in the "From:" line)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: gjnelson@ee.umn.edu (Grad student Greg Nelson)
Subject: Re: MY BELOVED LIVERPOOL F.C.
Organization: Electrical Engineering, U of MN, Mpls.
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 03:50:39 GMT

Well, why don't you marry the Liverpool soccer team then?
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ccolling@nyx.cs.du.edu (Lady Firebird)
Subject: Re: Question about wedding rings
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 92 03:08:58 GMT

In article <1992Aug7.184523.11942@b8.ingr.com> tammy@b8.ingr.com (Tammy Hurt) writes:
>In article <1683BD8E.O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU>, O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU (Debbie Adams) writes:
>> I have a question about the wedding rings.  I was told that the wedding
>> band is supposed to be closest to the heart so, therefore, you should
>> put the wedding band on first and then the engagement ring.  My question
>
>The engagement is given to the maid of honor to keep until the rings are 
>exchanged and she will give it back to the bride when she hands her back
>her flowers to her.

Actually that's one I've never heard before.  It's been my experience with
friends who get married (those that even have engagement rings...some people
can't afford tham, y'know (: ) that it's pretty much bride's preference. I've
had friends switch their rings after the ceremony, wear it on their right
hand, and one even decided that she was more comfortable wearing her rings
the "wrong" way because it chafed her finger the other way around.  I also
heard of a person switching the rings in the ceremony itself, and another where
the groom removed her engagement ring and held it in his hand while he put
the wedding ring on her finger.

I think it's basically whatever you (as the bride) want to do.

Lady Firebird
--
Catherine G. Collingwood, aka Lady Firebird       NCSSM '92
catherine@lambada.oit.unc.edu  -or-  ccolling@nyx.cs.du.edu
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Imagination is only intelligence having fun."  --Anon.
From: goldberg@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Mark Goldberg)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Ending a marriage
Date: 20 Aug 92 13:45:59 GMT
Reply-To: goldberg@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Mark Goldberg)
Organization: Naval Surface Warfare Center, Annapolis, MD

I experienced this about eight years ago, when my first wife said, "I'm
going away for a while."  There were problems and signs leading up to
this, but it still hit pretty hard.  After a few months, my feelings
imporved as I began to build a new life.  In fact, my only regret was
that the marriage did not end sooner, as I later met and married a special
person and have a wonderful son (no children first time 'round).

I think the most important thing is to seek professional counseling
determine if both really want to end the marriage.  Sometimes, IMHO,
the desire on the part of one or both to end a relationship is a symptom
of other solvable problems.  If those problems are addressed, then a
very painful, difficult, and expensive divorce process can be avoided.
If divorce is the answer, then I think it should be approached honestly
and cooperatively.  There is a practical reason - failure of both parties
to cooperatively end a marriage can result in huge legal fees, which
in turn would consume the assets you are contesting.

Assumeing separation and divorce is the answer, then I recommend that
you have a clear plan in mind - where you will be living, how expenses
will be divided, how joint credit cards will be stopped, etc.  Otherwise,
an emotional reaction of an "injured spouse" can spell financial disaster.

   /|/| /||)|/  /~ /\| |\|)[~|)/~   |   Everyone's entitled to MY opinion.
  / | |/ ||\|\  \_|\/|_|/|)[_|\\_|  |      goldberg@oasys.dt.navy.mil
========Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein=======
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: tammy@b8.ingr.com (Tammy Hurt)
Subject: Re: Question about wedding rings
Summary: Here's where the engagement ring is...
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Fri, 7 Aug 1992 18:45:23 GMT

In article <1683BD8E.O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU>, O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU (Debbie Adams) writes:
> I have a question about the wedding rings.  I was told that the wedding
> band is supposed to be closest to the heart so, therefore, you should
> put the wedding band on first and then the engagement ring.  My question
> is during the wedding ceremony what does the bride do with the engagement
> ring because if she has it on, the wedding band would be in the wrong place.
>  
> Is this true?  If so what do you do with the engagement ring during the
> ceremony????
>  

The engagement is given to the maid of honor to keep until the rings are 
exchanged and she will give it back to the bride when she hands her back
her flowers to her.
From: kenji@reseau.macrofield.or.jp (Kenji Rikitake)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Question about wedding rings
Date: 13 Aug 92 04:46:00 GMT
	<1992Aug6.165752.6308@col.hp.com>
Reply-To: kenji@reseau.macrofield.or.jp (Kenji Rikitake)
Distribution: soc
Organization: Macrofield Corporation, Toyonaka-city, Osaka, Japan
Posting-Front-End: Terakoya-u kaku 2.06 DEBUG 11-AUG-1992

In article <1992Aug6.165752.6308@col.hp.com>
	lpj@col.hp.com (Laura Johnson) writes:
>Hm, everybody else seems to be saying "wear the engagement ring on your
>right during the ceremony" but that's not what I did.

My SO simply took off her engagement ring while in the ceremony to 
avoid confusion.

>Hey, if this is the biggest problem you have planning your wedding,
>you're in great shape! :-)

Ditto.

// Kenji
_.. .   .___ .___ .____ _... _.. _.._ _.._. ...__   _ ___ _.__ ___ _. ._ _._ ._
"Humour is by far the most significant behaviour of the human mind."
                                -- Edward de Bono, "I am Right - You are Wrong"
From: t8914229@phillip.edu.au
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: MY BELOVED LIVERPOOL F.C.
Date: 13 Aug 92 15:59:44 GMT
Organization: RMIT (Bundoora Campus)


	Nothing matters and means more to me in life than MY BELOVED
LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL CLUB (England).  Stuff all the talk about getting
married, having partners, etc.  That's all boring stuff:  if you
support MY BELOVED LIVERPOOL, there is never a dull moment and just
seeing them in action is sheer ecstasy and filled with pride and joy.
The ONLY place in this earth worth visiting is Anfield (home of MY
BELOVED LIVERPOOL F.C.), in Liverpool, England.
	If ever you are ever in need of inspiration, look no further
than MY BELOVED LIVERPOOL.  They  make this world.

	LIVERPOOL F.C. RULES THE WORLD FOREVER AND EVER
	GRAEME SOUNESS RULES ALL MANAGERS

	LIVERPOOL F.C.
	F.A. CUP WINNERS
	1992 (CENTENARY YEAR)


	LIVERPOOL F.C.
	1992/93
From: akcs.xx414@ddsw1.MCS.COM (Ivan Cole Phillips)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: A Question of Everybody (was Re: Any married women out there?)
Date: 13 Aug 92 10:00:04 CDT

My personal philosophy is very unusual.  I am an atheist and a scientist.
I do not believe that there are any moral absolutes.  I am not motivated
by any religious moral imperative.  However, when one
introduces an objective such as a smoothly operating society, certain
"family values" will appear.  I do not believe that rewriting marriage
contracts to permit extramarital affairs will help the nation's divorce
problem.  If people want to modify the typical marriage contract that
doesn't bother me personally, but I don't think it should be encouraged.
It only masks the real problems we have to deal with.
 
The first problem is the realization that marriage (and relationships in
general) takes hard work.  Before marriage, there's very little
compromise
required and both parties need little effort to stay in the relationship.
When jobs, family, and money start putting pressure on the couple, the
marriage will become a more significant task.  Marriage is not an
effortless thing and nobody is "made" for someone else.
I don't wish to write-off those who are in marriages which can never
work;
divorce is sometimes necessary.
 
The second is communication.  I find that the a high degree of
communication is required.  In todays day and age where some men have
trouble just saying "I love you", it is easy to see how far we have to
go.
Couples should be able to talk about sex etc and not feel unreasonable
telling their partner that they will feel awful about say, an open
marriage.
(I don't mean that in the past when the divorce rate was lower, that men
&
women had great communication and wanted to sacrifice for the good of
their partner...it was just social pressure.)
 
Why is making a marriage work important?  Because it is _obvious_ that
broken marriages are generally a destructive influence on society.  We
all
know how children suffer from the conflicts of their parents.  Not to say
that all such children have problems, but I think I'm making myself
clear.
 
Sorry I wrote a whole essay.
 
-Ivan
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ivan Phillips
Grad Student@Northwestern University       i-phillips@nwu.edu
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "thomas miller" <thomas.miller@canrem.com>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: unusual ways to propo
Date: 20 Aug 92 23:48:22 EST
Reply-To: "thomas miller" <thomas.miller@canrem.com>
Distribution: soc
Organization: Canada Remote Systems


      My fiance was aware that she would be getting a ring but did not
know when. I knew if I took her out for a romantic candle lit dinner a 
a fancy restaurant right away she would know what was up. So we went
out for chinese food and when she wasn`t looking I slipped the ring into
her fortune cooky!


                                                     From the keyboard of
                          __                             Tom Miller
  O                      [__]_____________\_______     Toronto, Canada
  |\.______________________#|                   / 
 __\____                   #|_________________/    (I`de rather be ski-ing)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
---
  DeLuxe/386 1.25 #8589          set phasers at "DEEP FAT FRY"
--
Canada Remote Systems  - Toronto, Ontario/Detroit, MI
World's Largest PCBOARD System - 416-629-7000/629-7044
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: elle@kimbark.uchicago.edu (Ellen Keyne Seebacher)
Subject: Re: Hierarchy Of The Giver Away Of The Bride
Reply-To: elle@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 23:42:26 GMT

kevinc@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (kevin.j.coulter) writes:
>Another interesting twist that I saw at a wedding I attended a couple 
>of weeks ago was having both the mother and the father of the bride walk
>her down the aisle.

It might have been a "twist" for this particular wedding, but it's
standard at Jewish weddings for both marriage partners to be escorted
by their respective sets of parents.

--
Ellen Keyne Seebacher            elle@midway.uchicago.edu
From: dennisp@kpc.com (Dennis Preston)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Ending a marriage
Date: 18 Aug 92 17:34:20 GMT
Organization: Kubota Pacific Computer Inc, Santa Clara, CA

In article <23782@oasys.dt.navy.mil> 2753s@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Michele White) writes:
>
>   Hi,
>
>    I am posting for a friend (A female) who is trying to end her marriage.
>She know that if she just comes out and tells her husband that she doesn't
>want to be married anymore, he will just be devastated.  On the other
>hand if she keeps pretending and playing these little mind games, both
>parties will be miserable...........Doesn't anyone have any suggestions?
>
>
>We Need Help!!!!!!!!!


There isn't a good way to end a marriage. Yes, her husband will be devastated,
I don't know of a way to avoid it. Direct communication will lessen the pain
for the future though. I suggest that they see a counselor and work through
this mess together. At the very least, they should feel a sense of closure
to the marriage. Good Luck, They're going to need it.

Been There
From: rutledge@space.mit.edu (Bob Rutledge)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: unusual ways to propo
Date: 23 Aug 92 02:44:32 GMT
Reply-To: rutledge@space.mit.edu (Bob Rutledge)
Distribution: soc
Organization: MIT Center for Space Research
Originator: rutledge@zvezda


jbf@wts.com (Jens B. Fiederer) writes:
>I don't know how unusual this is, but I proposed in a fortune cookie.  I
>took my wife to a Chinese restaurant, and pulled a switch on her cookie.
>The message said "The man with whom you are eating would like to be your
>husband."


thomas.miller@canrem.com (thomas miller) sez:
>      My fiance was aware that she would be getting a ring but did not
>know when. I knew if I took her out for a romantic candle lit dinner a 
>a fancy restaurant right away she would know what was up. So we went
>out for chinese food and when she wasn`t looking I slipped the ring into
>her fortune cooky!

Just last week, the time came for me to "pop the question" to that special someone, and I took her to a chinese restaurant too!  Just after the meal, she went off to powder her nose, as is her custom, and while she was gone, I slipped the entire engagement party into her fourtune cookie, including the caterer!  Imagine my surprise when she popped the whole thing in her mouth and swallowed it!  She has begun to ask questions regarding the whereabouts of her relatives and loved ones....

Bob
From: mary@uicsl.csl.uiuc.edu (Mary E. Allison)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Unusual Ways to Propose
Date: 19 Aug 1992 03:33:11 GMT
Organization: Center for Reliable and High-Performance Computing, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
NNTP-Posting-Host: uicsl.csl.uiuc.edu

jbf@wts.com (Jens B. Fiederer) writes:

>I don't know how unusual this is, but I proposed in a fortune cookie.  I
>took my wife to a Chinese restaurant, and pulled a switch on her cookie.
>The message said "The man with whom you are eating would like to be your
>husband."

Okay -- how did you get the slip of paper into the cookie???

--
Oh, boy.
   --Dr. Sam Beckett, M.D., Ph.D., Miss Deep South 1958

    Mary Allison (mary@uicsl.csl.uiuc.edu) Urbana, Illinois
Catx2 Owned, Square Dancer, Leaper, Ballroom Dancer in training 
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude)
Subject: Re: Ending a marriage
Cc: 2753s@oasys.dt.navy.mil
Organization: None, today. Thank you.
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1992 19:49:19 GMT

 2753s@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Michele White) writes:
>
>   Hi,
>
>    I am posting for a friend (A female) who is trying to end her marriage.
>She know that if she just comes out and tells her husband that she doesn't
>want to be married anymore, he will just be devastated.  On the other
>hand if she keeps pretending and playing these little mind games, both
>parties will be miserable...........Doesn't anyone have any suggestions?

Is there no way to salvage the marriage? Could they _both_ go to counseling
to try and repair the damage? You didn't mention why she wants out, and
it may not be relevant. 

If she REALLY wants out, and there is no possible chance of repairing
what is wrong instead of throwing it away, then she would be better
just telling him upfront. Sure, he'll be devastated. But everyday she
lives in this marriage, when she doesn't want to, is the same as living
a lie. It's hurting both of them to keep the ruse going. Best to just
cut it off now. Otherwise, the pain will be more prolonged.

I have never seen nor heard of an "easy and painless" divorce.
Amicable, maybe.

Good luck to her.

-- 
Puter	puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com	.sig by Generic Labels
(Put irritating title here)		(Put phone # here.)
(Put obnoxious quote here. Please make it as long as possible.)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: dedek@meaddata.com (Mike Dedek)
Subject: Re: Pre-marital counseling
Organization: Mead Data Central, Dayton OH
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 17:34:20 GMT

In article <12AUG199208421845@tm0006.lerc.nasa.gov>, jac0854@tm0006.lerc.nasa.gov (Jennifer A. Corner) writes:
|> My fiance and I will be starting pre-marital counseling next month.  We
|> are both a little nervous about it and were wondering how other couples
|> experiences were - both good and bad. 
|> 
|> **********
|>       Jennifer Corner              
|>  NASA Lewis Research Center
|>       Cleveland, Ohio                   
|> **********

I assume you're referring to "pre-cana."  We did it about a year ago, it was
a one-day 8-hour session instead of the several short sessions.  It was really
not bad, it was good, similar to Ken's reply - some questions that we
answered on our own and then went over together (my wife and I, not the whole
group), and several presentations by clergy and people active in the parish
about sexuality, finances, etc.  I'm glad we did it, we learned some things
and it wasn't too bad.  Of course, if you learn that you and your future spouse
have nothing in common, it might not be fun but better to learn now than
later!

-Mike Dedek

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: Question about wedding rings
Organization: AT&T
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 14:46:35 GMT

In article <1683BD8E.O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU> O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU (Debbie Adams) writes:
> 
>Is this true?  If so what do you do with the engagement ring during the
>ceremony????

The bride usually wears it on her right hand, then places the
engagement ring "above" the wedding band once the groom has put
the wedding band on her finger.


-Nance
-- 
Nance Colucci  *^*^*^*^*^*    o__    *^*^*^*^*  |  Work that body!
att!ihlpk!colucci            _.>/               | Stay fit for life.
                            (_) \(_)
From: rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Unusual Ways to Propose
Date: 17 Aug 92 15:31:17 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)

In article <8020026@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> reykja@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Reykja Sigurdsson) writes:
>> 
>> What are the best proposal stories that you've heard?  There's
>> always the skywriter and buying TV time and leaving the ring
>> in her lunch or something like that ... but have any of y'all
>> ever heard of anything REALLY unusual?
>
>
>
>             How about asking her if she is aware of the tax advantages, 

Don't tell her about "tax advantages", there aren't any.
rf

>cheaper rent, having a man around to lift heavy objects and lots of 
>fabulous sex? 
>
>-reykjavik
>
>> 
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Subject: Diamond deals?
Content-Type: text
Organization: Computer Science, Indiana University
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 92 11:58:04 EDT
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4dev PL73]
Content-Length: 427       


	Just a quick question:  I am embarking on the search for a
diamond for an engagement ring, and I would like to have a few
recommendations as to the best way to get a high-quality stone at
a fair price.
	I don't need to be told about inclusions, color, shape etc.
Thanks, but I know about that.  What is the best way to procure a
diamond at a fair and not exorbitant cost?

	Thanks.

	Jim Acker
	jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov

Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ssimmons@convex.com (Steve Simmons)
Subject: >>>>>> Diamond deals
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 15:04:56 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

Hmmm....

> 
>        Just a quick question:  I am embarking on the search for a
> diamond for an engagement ring, and I would like to have a few
> recommendations as to the best way to get a high-quality stone at
> a fair price.
>

Several suggestions:

 	- Find a friend in the business.  
 	- Go to the diamond exchange in NY if possible. It is on 47th
	  street, east of Broadway and west of Park.  
	- Most women would prefer a prettier mounting than one big
	  rock.  Therefore, several small stones surrounding a medium
	  size rock is better than just one big rock.  A carat of
	  these is cheaper than a one carat rock too. Also, quality 
	  and clarity are not as noticeable in smaller rocks.  
	- In fact, let her pick out the ring. Certainly, it is nice
	  to have a ring ready at the proposal but it is not necessary.
	  It is better to have a ring that she likes than waste your
	  money on something that she does not like.  A 1 carat ring
	  will cost at least $1K and that is with a poor quality 
	  rock.  Most women are not hurt if you set a limit. They better
	  have an idea of what you can afford when they marry you. 
	  It can be just as meaningful to you shopping for the 
	  ring together.  It is not a quick process. ;-)

Thank you. 

						Steve Simmons
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: jbf@wts.com (Jens B. Fiederer)
Subject: Re: Unusual Ways to Propose
Organization: Wegmans Transaction Services
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1992 20:55:43 GMT

I don't know how unusual this is, but I proposed in a fortune cookie.  I
took my wife to a Chinese restaurant, and pulled a switch on her cookie.
The message said "The man with whom you are eating would like to be your
husband."

Jens
From: sbp@cbnewsh.cb.att.com (Sue Price)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Hierarchy Of The Giver Away Of The Bride
Date: 13 Aug 92 16:18:54 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T

In article <20206@optima.cs.arizona.edu> bweiss@cs.arizona.edu (Beth Weiss) writes:
>At Jewish weddings, the groom's parents walk the groom down the aisle,
>and the bride's parents walk the bride down the aisle.  I like the
>symbolism of that, because it shows that both families are supporting
>the new union.

They did this at my brother's wedding in May (in a Presbyterian church.)
I like it for the reason you mention, and also because it lets everyone
be more involved: the mothers had at least as much to do with raising
the children as the fathers did, and the groom gets to come down the aisle 
rather than just seeming to appear out of a black hole.  It doesn't have to 
have the negative sense of parents "giving" their children away; when I do it,
I'll want both my parents to walk with me because they raised me and I
want both them to share in this special moment with me.

-- 

Sue Price
sbp@hound.att.com
From: 2753s@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Michele White)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Ending a marriage
Date: 18 Aug 92 15:04:29 GMT
Reply-To: 2753s@oasys.dt.navy.mil (Michele White)
Organization: Carderock Division, NSWC, Bethesda, MD


   Hi,

    I am posting for a friend (A female) who is trying to end her marriage.
She know that if she just comes out and tells her husband that she doesn't
want to be married anymore, he will just be devastated.  On the other
hand if she keeps pretending and playing these little mind games, both
parties will be miserable...........Doesn't anyone have any suggestions?


We Need Help!!!!!!!!!