From: derion@VAX309.NOSC.MIL (Toni Derion)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Family:  2 or 3 Children?
Date: 17 Nov 92 00:49:00 GMT
Reply-To: derion@VAX309.NOSC.MIL
Organization: Naval Health Research Center, San Diego, CA

In article <5330001@hpsad.sad.hp.com>, gregs@hpsad.sad.hp.com (Greg Stone) writes:
>I'd like to solicit opinions from you folks about two vs three child families.
>My wife and I are in gridlock about whether or not to add a third child to
>our family.  We've got a 26 month old son, and a 5 month daughter.  Since
>my wife is the youngest of five, and I am the only child from my family, we've
>got different reference points on our "ideal" family size.  At this 
>point, its easy to make/discuss a list of all the obvious reasons NOT
>to have a third child (finances, grey hair, sleepless nights with infants, 
>more loss of independent time, etc.).  But I'd like to get a look at this
>decision from the childrens' point of view.  How would adding another child
>to our family make the situation for the existing two kids better or worse? 
>
>Would those of you who came from, know of, or created two or three child
>families please reply with an opinion of what the pros and cons of those sizes
>were? I realize that sibling individual personalities vary tremendously, but 
>that's ok.  I just need some good inputs realizing that our kids may or may not
>get along with each other down the road...
>
>1) What are sibling advantages or disadvantages of having 2 vs 3 children 
>   in a family?
>
>2) Are there any LESS OBVIOUS parental advangages or disadvantages of having
>   2 vs 3 children from the parents' point of view?
>
>Thanks
>
>Greg Stone 

Greg,

I am the oldest of 3 daughters.  Our current ages are 38, 35, 31.  I can
imagine that how well siblings will get along would depend on their
gender and age differences, so I can only speak for myself, and only
from the child's point of view since I have no children.  I would say
that the main disadvantage of having 3 vs 2 kids is that with 3 you
can have 2 kids exclude or gang up on the third.  When I was single
(not that long ago) my dad took us on a cruise for Xmas one yr.  My
sisters had grown pretty close to one another over the years (they
are more alike and have more in common with each other than I have with
either of them).  They pal-ed around a lot together on that cruise and
I really felt left out.  DOn't get me wrong, I love my sisters, but I
sometimes think that having an even # of kids would preclude situations
like that from happening.

On the positive side, it's fun having more than one sibling, and each
one touches your life in a different way.  And, if I can say it, it is
interesting to see different combinations of your parents' gene pool.
My husband is the oldest of 5 kids and reunions with his family are
always fun. And they have a Round Robin letter that circulates throughout
the family so that they can keep up with what's going on in each other's
lives since they are scattered across the country.  Maybe it's better to
have 2, 4, or 5 or more kids (i.e. not 3) because then the possibility
of one child getting left out of something is much less.

TD
Newsgroups: misc.kids