From: mcs@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu (Marc Silver)
Newsgroups: alt.politics.clinton
Subject: How To: Becoming a Member of the Media Elite
Date: 9 Sep 92 09:53:31 GMT
Organization: pure chaos

Fellow Americans!

Tired, are you? Of the ceaseless onslaught of the liberalfascistreactionary
news media, with their ever wearying and stultifying rhetoric,
of baseless lies, meanderings, uselessisms, and tripe?

The ones who refuse to protray YOUR candidate of choice, in the rosy,
benevolent viewframe, that she/it/he truthfully deserves?
(and at the same time, pretending that the Enemy, the arch
RepubLibertariDemocrayfish itself, is truly the candidate of Change,
Miss American Pie, and Nice Things, when we all Know what they _really_ are.)

How does one become a Media Elite, and wield the great, mysterious powers
cast hither?

In the best tradition, of the Media, one would go to school for several
years, studying all about how journalism works, cultivating one's
writing skills, finding a grunt-level job at a newpaper, or some other
essential media institution, and slowly work one's way upwards,
writing, writing, and kissing appropriate appendages of one's superiors.
This may take a Long Time; in fact, it is intended to.

But, my Fellow Americans, and Friends, it need not be the _only_ way
to advancement, in the Forces of the Elite.
Enclosed, is a short guide, on how you yourself might join their
ranks, and easily become equal to any, wielding all the awesome 
media powers, within your own bosom/torso/cephalus/(phallus?).

1) Find yourself a Media Construction Tool.
	this is the first step, and depending on your desired
	means of media penetration, the most difficult,
	or the most easy. if you wish to directly influence
	the highest echelons immediately, you may 
	a] Hijack a radio station (temporary, most likely)
	b] form your own pirate station (until the FCC catches you)
	c] Hijack a TV station (possibly also temporary)
	d] broadcast your own pirate TV station (good luck)
	b and c may require some technical assistance.
	stay tuned, for further Postings (and send me Bail Money:)
	or, of course,
	d] move on to step 2)

2) Realise that you already Possess an MCT of your very own
	you are typing on it. it may be helpful to note,
	which variety of the Tool you may Possess,
	be it MacIbmCrayAmigaBlackbox; though it should not
	Matter, for the purposes of this Excercise.

3) Compose Your Thoughts
	consider just what it is that you mean to say, what it is
	that the Media Elite have neglected to say, that you Know
	so very desperately needs to be brought out into the Open.

4) Begin Typing
	actually, at this point you probably should return to 
	step 3), because you probably havent composed your
	Thoughts well enough, perhaps because you havent 
	spent Several Years practicing using your Brain
	as the Media Elite mean to have done.
	However, since you are goign to be a Media Elite
	Yourself soon enough, and since you have Already
	Proven your mental acuity by reading, and Contemplating
	USENET, you may as well begin.

	(typing in ALL CAPS, or using a truly massive Typeface
	 may help Prove your point (as usenet postings have shown us))

4) Stop Typing
	you have to, eventually.  Know When to Say When.

5) Start The Printing Press
	a) find the ButtonSwitchKnob that turns the Printing Press ON
	   if the press does not belong to you, it may already be on,
 	   in which case, move to c)  or else it may be off, in which case
	you may need to Hijack a Printing Device. (see following report
						   for methods of Hijacking
						   Printing Presses, Radio
						   Stations, and TeleVision
						   Stations)
	b) Realise that you Already Possess a Printing Press
	   (you may not, but if you have any sort of device
	    connected to the Media Construction Tool, which 
	    acts in the same General manner as a Typewriter,
	    then you are OK. Otherwise, Hijack one. (see following report, etc.)
	c) find the Button on the side of the keyboard, labeled  
	   PrintScreen, or the bitmap icon with an Image of a Printing Press
	   on it, or a switch that will Transfer control of the Printing
	   Press to teh MCT, and push/press/pull it
	d) repeat as many Times as needed, to print as many copies 
	   of the Document as are needed for your purposes

6) (whew)
	Take your completed Documents, as distribute them as far
	and as Wide as you find useful. Post them anywhere you Can.
	Put them on bulliten boards, telephone poles, walls, 
	Police Vehicles, Farm Animals, and any other Place
	you can think of, where someone might see It.
	If you are industrious, you might print Several copies
	of a Very long Document, and actually sell them 
	on the Street to Unsuspecting Media Dupes (the People
	who fall Prey to the Media Elite.  You of course, 
	as Intelligent as you are, have never been a Media Dupe)

7) CONGRATULATIONS!  
	you are Now a fully fledged member of the Media Elite,
	and endowed with all the privilidges heretofore accrued;
	(the rights to Tell people in Print, and en Masse what 
	YOU think, etc.)

	you are only 70 years behind the rest of the worldwide 
	Media Establishment.  Considering 6000 years of development,
	its not half bad.

	Use Your Powers Wisely, and with Good Judgement;
	you, after all have the same responsibilities
	to be objective and honest and truthful, as you
	have expected them to be; though you Know you are
	better than they.

Thank You, my Friends and Fellow Americans, and ? Bless You.


:Marc Silver (818)363-4340 /mcs@gnu.ai.mit.edu,  masilve@eis.calstate.edu     :
:Physicist/Musician/Geek  /fifteen billion years of evolution and dragon magic:
:perpetual student, UCSC /to produce a cosmos forever beautiful; a fraction of:
:Santa Cruz, Terra, Sol /a heartbeat to see the cream pie flying in your face :
 
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