HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 23:52:59 EDT
From: S. Wukovitz <SXW103@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: a doomed relationship?

In article <1992Sep30.215945.13983@resumix.portal.com>, ganz@resumix.portal.com
(Jonathan Ganz) says:
>In fact, when we parted after talking for oh so many hours, I got
>the impression that I could have kissed her goodnight if I had
>tried. We were a few feet apart as we were saying goodnight and
>our eyes sort of locked for an indescribable moment.
>
>So, all this seems rather idyllic (even more so now that I've
>written it down), but that still leaves me with some sort of
>strange paranoia. I've had a couple of long-term relationships
>but I've never felt anything like what I feel about her. I can't
>stop thinking about her (and, no, I'm not just thinking about
>sex :). I'm concerned that I'll do something silly and scare
>her off or that she doesn't have anything like the feelings I
>have for her.

Obviously no two romantic situations are exactly the same, but
I can at least relate the following story:

When my fiance and I started going out, for the first two dates
there was absolutely no physical stuff--we seemed very much to
click as far as all the other stuff went, though.  Apparently,
as we were saying goodbye on the second date, there was a moment
very much like the one you describe, at least from his point of
view.  I had no clue that he wanted to kiss me goodnight, and
so apparently (from his point of view) sort of brushed him off
at the end of what had been a very interesting and wonderful
evening.  The next time we got together, he happened to be
sitting in a chair typing (we were composing a joint post to
some newsgroup) in front of me...timidly (I was rather shy back
then) I reached out and sort of half-massaged his back.  Things
picked up from there, on the next few dates.

The point is that when he thought I was brushing him off at the
end of date #2, he began to strongly believe I was only
interested in him platonically, and (as I later found out)
resolved that if I didn't show any visible interest on the next
date, he was going to stop trying.  Which would have been a
horrible mistake...

I guess the lesson, at least in our case, was that we both
should have been more assertive about how we felt.  I don't
know if it applies to you and your friend, but perhaps it is
at least something to think about.

Hope it helps...

-Stephanie Wukovitz
steph@math.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: soc.singles
From: parks_typ@med.wcc.govt.nz
Date: 2 Oct 1992 03:58:07 GMT
Reply-To: parks_typ@med.wcc.govt.nz
Organization: Wellington City Council, Wgtn, NZ
NNTP-Posting-Host: blade.wcc.govt.nz


Speaking of petersizewars,  I heard a slightly humorous joke on the radio this
morning:

What's a Peter Pan?

A washbasin in a whorehouse.



hyuk!  



Rachel                           "Supergoof!"
                                    -  -
                                    O  O
                                      >
                                     \_/
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie (Emma Williams)
Subject: Re: The Engaged Psychobitch from Hell Syndrome
Organization: Trinity College, Dublin
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 17:02:03 GMT

In <thurlow.717559811@convex.convex.com> thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow) writes:

>In <ewillims.717417667@unix1.tcd.ie> ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie (Emma Williams) writes:

 [re:polyamory.......]

>>	I also have to add that if this sort of relationship is
>>fairly commonplace in the states, I have to say that I begin to 
>>understand why your divorce rate is so high.

>This sort of relationship is rare as hen's teeth, but divorce rates
>are through the roof anyway.  You desparately need another hypothesis.
>(I have a few, but they're mine, and I don't want to share!  :-)

	I feel the same way about a lover...
I have one and he's mine and I don't want to share :-)


    ____________________________________________________________________
    |   Emma Williams            | Folk sover ellers ikke godt op      |
    |   ewillims@unix1.tcd.ie    | ad en sultan tiger!                 |
    |				 |    Steen og Stoffer :->             |
    |____________________________|_____________________________________|

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: eleanor@cbnews.cb.att.com (eleanor.j.evans)
Subject: Re: Good movies ...
Organization: AT&T
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 1992 14:54:17 GMT

In article <1992Oct2.174532.235874@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu> jm0i@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JOSEPH ALOYSIUS MCVEIGH) writes:
>
>The ultimate date movie now in theaters.."The Last of the Mohicans."
>
>Lots of action, great scenery, a hero and a heroine, drama, good guys and bad
>guys, redemption of a quasi-bad guy, reasonably faithful to its literary basis,
                                                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Piglet
Xref: sparky soc.singles:26566 soc.couples:3836 soc.women:17103 soc.men:16996
From: wrat@unisql.UUCP (wharfie)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,soc.couples,soc.women,soc.men
Subject: Re: NEED IDEAS FOR FIANCE'S XMAS GIFT!!!
Date: 28 Sep 92 12:38:13 GMT
Reply-To: wrat@unisql.UUCP (wharfie)
Followup-To: soc.singles
Organization: UniSQL, Inc., Austin, Texas, USA

In article <92269.161744IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU writes:
>Hi!  I'm looking for ideas on what to get my fiance for Christmas. Here's 
>what his interests are:  Sports, music, religion,travel, computers, romance.

	Get him a musical microchip-operated football that's been sent
to Rome to be blessed by the Pope, and gaze longingly into his eyes when
you hand it to him.


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: edb51@hp825.bih.no (Christian Stange)
Subject: Re: The Engaged Psychobitch from Hell Syndrome
Organization: Bergen College of Engineering, Bergen, Norway.
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 07:50:20 GMT

Hey! There is a wonderfull BIG world out there, with loots and loots of
boyz with the same opinion!
Tell you what we do :
	You stay on your crusade (actully i envy you ,couldn't stand the 
	thougth of one week without sex, and haven't meet anyone i would
	trust to rise a child) and tell us about your sucsesses and
	failurs, BUT NEVER EVER propose it AS THE ONLY RIGHT WAY!!

I get sick & tired of people telling me all the stupid things about poly
rel. because "friend of me tried it" or "GOD doesn't like it" or even 
"I tried it and didn't like it" (You may be a part of the problem here)

It usually works or it doesn't ; same problem as you can get in any sort of 
relationships. "My dog doesn't understand me!" :-/


You seem to be on the right track to a nice life. Just go get it!



###
  				      EMail :  edb51@hp825.bih.no
Hey ! I DO see the problem!! 
But lets be honest here,
DO I SEEM TO CARE ???
From: brentaa@ac.dal.ca (brent, eh?)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: question on "true" love
Date: 2 Oct 92 15:57:30 -0300
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

In article <l4=p0qg@lynx.unm.edu>, sdavey@triton.unm.edu (Sean Davey) writes:
>   the quick version of this question is does anyone out there believe in
> true love?
> that way.  I find, to my utter dismay, that it feels like I will never feel
> that way again.  I tell myself that it's up to me whether or not I can love
> that much again.  So where does this leave "true" love?  How much of love is
> in our own heads?  (btw, sorry if this is a FAQ)  What differentiates people
> who are more or less loving than others?
> 
> 	Sean

	The truth is that you will not feel this way again, but that is not
necessarily a bad thing....You said that you loved her more than visa versa, 
which is typical of many first loves, and does not really fall into the 
category of True Love[tm].  Undoubtable you were in love, but True Love[tm] 
means that she would feel the same about you.
	Every time you fall in love it is unique, different from the last.
It will happen again, and it might just be in your head, the only thing to do
is enjoy it while it lasts, and try to learn something from it if it doesn't.
	Your last question would take a 24 page book to adequately explain, 
and while I'd love to give it a shot, Star Trek is on in an hour, and it
wouldn't be right if i missed it........;-)

					Counsellor Brontosaur Troi




Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle)
Subject: Re: Beyond Cinderella
Organization: Indiana University
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 06:34:23 GMT

shenning@hardy.u.washington.edu (Susan Hennington) writes:

>book is that if you follow her advice (set out as a 6 week plan) you will
>be on your way to finding the man of your dreams.  I figured, what could
>it hurt, if nothing else it will force me to do something rather than just

Heh.  Just post to and read the net.  *smile*
-- 

Kiran Wagle                           <kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 19:42:32 GMT

In article <1992Sep28.190952.28341@cbnewsd.cb.att.com> nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci) writes:
>intellectually because letting your body go to hell is stupid.  It's
>superior morally because you are going to be alive and well and contributing
>to the lives of people who love you instead of having an attitude like
>"eh, so I die, who cares" or, in the case of pregnancy, you're going to
>give the developing person inside you the best possible chance for a
>healthy life.
>
>Plus if you DO get sick or need surgery or something, the healthier
>you are, the quicker you will heal.  :-)
>
>>    Your humble servant,
>>                  Jimmy cracked corn.
>
>Oh lighten up, Dutton !  :-)

 SHRRRIIIEEEKKKKKK. Ye have besmirched the religion of Edification.
 Yay shall ye be smoated from the right hand of Eddie.
 To atrophy the body is the moraly correct way to show the
respect that is Ed, the Ed man, The big whammer jammer.
Eddieee. Eddiiieeeee. Edddieeee. Kumba ya my lord Kuuumbiya, Oh Eddie
Kuumbiya.
 
 To waste bandwidth is the first sign of edification worship.
 HHHhuuuuuuiiiiiyyyuuummmmmmmmmm.
 
================================================================================
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: hoyle@beaufort.sfu.ca (Michelle Hoyle)
Subject: Re: Dating an older woman
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 03:10:04 GMT

malak@grebyn.com (Michael Malak) writes:
>In my opinion, it is necessary to distinguish between the man being
>older and the woman being older, for the reasons of safe fertility.  For
>the woman, it is until 36-40.  For the man, it is until he dies (we
>should account for the positive economic and pyschological impact of
>having a living father, so we should take 65 (retirement) - 22 (kid's
>college graduation) = 43.  That's 3 to 7 years that the man is allowed
>to be older under the constraints of intending to raise mutually-
>conceived children, *assuming* that you wish to maximize the number of
>care-free years you have without children.  (I do, which is why I assume
>it; I did say this was my opinion).

Maybe it's because you're going against the flow?  I know that I tend
to go for men older than myself and thus neither myself nor the man
have a problem with the "safe fertility" period.  Maybe you should be
looking for women not quite so old if you think that this is a problem.

>This puts me, personally, at a severe disadvantage.  At 24, I seem to be
>getting along only with women 31 - 35.  I don't want to be forced to
>have children in the next 3 - 5 years!  I'm not ready!  I wish this safe
>fertility thing didn't exist.  That is why I'm passing up many lovely,
>older women.  The people my own age that I respect are few and far
>between, but I haven't given up yet.

How about other women out there?  Do most of you prefer men who are
older than you, don't care, or prefer younger men?  Please answer in
e-mail and I'll summarize the results for the newsgroup.
  
And for the men, write me whether you prefer older women, younger
women, or don't care.  

Both groups please include your gender and your age.

Michelle -- The Quirky Blonde Sysop
 @The Human Impact Lab (HIL-Vancouver)
  CA (604) 251-7677


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: hays@TECHNET.NM.ORG (Larry 'Purple' Hays)
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: Thu, 01 Oct 92 23:58:20 GMT
Organization: New Mexico Technet   Albuquerque, NM
Distribution: na
Reply-To: hays@TECHNET.NM.ORG

In article <5683@news.duke.edu>, diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:

>ANYWAY.  Anyone out there got any good techniques for soliciting backrubs
>from total strangers?  This life of solitude and studious labor I'm leading
>seems pretty cool so far, except that when I'm under stress I don't
>get tension headaches, I get tension backaches.  

You might try coming to the balloonboink. . .

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Larry 'Purple' Hays                                      hays@technet.nm.org

                         Bananas AND backrubs?????
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: mel@niblick.ecn.purdue.edu (Meloney D Cregor)
Subject: Re: Adventure on the docks
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 04:42:46 GMT

In article <85_pyx@lynx.unm.edu> hays@TECHNET.NM.ORG writes:
>>plane ticket over on the bookcase and Larrybabe 
>
>Larrybabe.  I like that.  Somebody tip this woman!

Thanks.  You guys aren't the only ones who can suckup ya know.

>You can stay up all night (a personal fave) or you can miss the mass ascension

Well, that depends what I'm being kept up for..or with.

>(also a personal fave, but not recommended if you've never seen one.)

True, and I haven't.

>Didja say 'hi' to Elvis?  How is he?

Pale.

--
 Life is exactly what you make of it, always has been, always will be.
                                          
                                          --  Grandma Moses
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: hoyle@beaufort.sfu.ca (Michelle Hoyle)
Subject: Re: Dating an older woman
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 03:03:07 GMT

>I think that it's not so much a question of age as of life stages. If
>you go with someone significantly older, they are more likely to have
>been through certain formative experiences already (which can be either
>good or bad) and are probably at a different stage in their career
>(which can be bad, especially if you're just starting out and the
>career gets in conflict with the relationship). One of you may be
>ready to settle down and the other not. (My own experience: five
>very interesting years with a woman 8 years older, who is now married
>to someone 16 years older than she is.) IMHO it's not so much the
>age difference per se as the idea that both members of a relationship
>should be adults of vaguely equal standing. That's what sometimes
>worries me when I see significant age differences.

>paul

Life stages?  Equal standing?  How do you measure something like 
that?

On the other hand, I think that you might have something with your
"equality".  For the most part, I don't feel very comfortable with
people who are near my age.  The simple reason behind this is that
they are not, to my mind, as mature/serious as I am.  They appear to
be children worried not beyond their decision of what to wear on the
morrow, whereas I am their parent concerned with finances, rent, and   
coping with a job and studies at the same time.

Legally, anyone over the age of 18 (or 19 in some provinces) is an
adult, but being an adult is a state of mind, not a state of
physiological being.

Michelle -- QBS

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: jkd2886@usl.edu (Davis Jason K)
Subject: Re: Asking advice
Organization: University of Southwestern Louisiana
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 04:20:55 GMT

In article <_-+p=rg.barry@netcom.com> barry@netcom.com (Kenn Barry) writes:
>In article <117@cnmhnet.UUCP> keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard) writes:
>>it is a generally accepted Psychological Theory, that 
>>Public Displays of Affection [PDA] are a symptom of insecurity
>>on the part of one or both of the parties involved.
>
>	The problem with too many shrinks is that they're crazier than
>their patients.
>
>	Affection is nice, in public or private; what's to explain?
>
>						Kayembee
	Thank you Kayembee!  I do appreciate all the opinions from the
psych. majors and practicing psychs., but has anyone who is debating what
holding hands anywhere means thought that it is just very nice to hold the
hand of someone you care for, to feel their fingers wrapped around yours,
to feel the touch of their skin on yours.  I think the generally used term
here is "love".  Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I've always believed.
	My biggest problem here is the fact that I put my arm around her, or
try to hold her hand, and she shrugs it away while looking around, as if
she were making sure nobody saw.  I confronted her with it today, and don't
know what is going to come out of it.  Maybe nothing.  Maybe I need to find
someone more like me anyway...  Oh, well...I guess I'll find out....


							Jason


Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA (Andreas  Tovornik)
Subject: Re: Dating an older woman
Reply-To: atovorni@engr.UVic.CA
Organization: University of Victoria, Victoria, BC, Canada
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 92 03:59:31 GMT

In article 14501@nmsu.edu, dtasman@NMSU.edu (Dan Tasman) writes:
>I've been a lurker so far, so I thought I'd add my two cents.
>
>My ex-girlfriend was three and a half years older than me, and she cited that  
>as one of the reasons why we weren't compatible when she broke up with me. (The  
>relationship lasted nine months).  She also said that because of her higher  
>professional status (she's a lawyer, I'm a city planner) with a higher income,  
>it wouldn't work out in the end.  

That age thing has happened to me too. She was a graduate student and I was an
undergrad. She thought that she could get away with being a bitch because of 
her "superoir academic credentials." She was also 3 and a half years older
than me. She thought that because I was younger, she could try to do what
women always try to do. Change their lovers. Since I wouldn't change, she
used age, academic credentials and anything else she could think of as an
excuse to break up. I told her that my character and personality were not
made of modelling clay, and that that was the reason. She shut up because I had
struck a chord. Two years later, I met her somewhere. She looked terrified
because the last time I had seen her, her insecurities were exposed. It looks
like insecure women try to change their mates in order to make themselves
happier. All it does is piss off the man. When he gets pissed off, she breaks
off with him and uses excuses to hide her vulnerability. The excuses are her
shield against the truth.

>I hope this is the exception rather than the rule.  Has anyone ever had an  
>older woman/younger man or girl-makes-more-money-than-the-guy relationship go  
>bad for just that reason?  Is it fairly common?

I think I've hit on the real reason behind the excuses, and yes, it is common.

Andy.

IGNORANCE disclaimer applies.
From: "will sahlein" <will.sahlein@channel1.com>
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: want adventurous woman
Date: 5 Oct 92 14:07:37 EST
Reply-To: "will sahlein" <will.sahlein@channel1.com>
Distribution: soc
Organization: Channel 1 Communications

Warm, bright, communicative, sensual, attractive WSM 55 seeks similar
woman.
--
Channel 1 (R)   Cambridge, MA

Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein)
Subject: No One Lives in ARKANSAS ?
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 16:46:50 GMT


Shocking!  I "posted a post" the other day about taking a business
trip to Little Rock early this month and asked for suggestions on what
to do during my time off.

N O T    O N E    R E S P O N S E   from anyone in the whole state of
Arkansas.  California had many responses when I went there, so did
Chicago, Ohio, Alabama, but none from Arkansas.  Guess everyone there is
busy offering Clinton a helping hand.  Now I understand.

But I might be there for a month.  Well, I've managed quite well before
on my own, just thought I'd take a chance.


					Steve
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Philly Boink Announcement
Date: 1 Oct 92 15:01:55 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T

In article <BvFtDH.DEE@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> kiran@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu (Kiran Wagle) writes:
>>>I don't like to loose more'n a couple hundred.
>
>wtr@mitre.org (Bill Ralston) writes:
>>A couple hundred sisters!!! Right on!!! Or did you mean a 
>>couple of hundered bucks...  
>>aw heck, save yourself some trouble.  Just send your seesters to
>>Philly with the money, you'll never see either again anyhow, heh heh heh.
>
>Heh heh heh yourself.  Seth and I will have to drop over and clean
>your clock.  We'll both take your money, but Seth can have the
>seesters all to himself.  *smile*
>

 Well I'll be there sat. Tickets bought. Max might play and that makes 5.
 4/5 = poker. Who's bringin chips.
 I suggest we start either early or late. For mingeling purposes.
 Shebaleba (assuming her bachelorette pad) never gave the go ahead????????
 
================================================================================
 Ipisissimus of the Inner Order of Sesquipedalian Fruitcakes - IIOSF XOX Dawn
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
From: fy03+@andrew.cmu.edu (Francis J. Yenca)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Love crazed pilot and probably a Nice Guy too.
Date: 26 Sep 92 04:40:56 GMT
	<1992Sep25.142737.27912@news.acns.nwu.edu>
Organization: Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

Max explains:

>Good quote but in this case I'm betting the guy deliberatly ran himself out
>of fuel so that when he crashed he wouldn't ignite. Crazy does not mean
>stupid. I bet that within his system of logic he was doing everything

in this case, it was still stupid.  just not fatal.

>"right" and felt completely justified in his actions. You don't manage to
>fly your unpowered plane right into the front window of your pregnant 
>girlfriend's house without some careful planning.

and damn good execution!

Frank
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: kevin@clsi.COM (Kevin Cameron)
Subject: Re: Marriage
Originator: kevin@dubhe
Organization: CAD Language Systems Inc.
Distribution: soc.singles
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 13:57:20 GMT


In article <BvB9Au.uo@inews.Intel.COM> gbennett@frx781.intel.com (gbennett) writes:
>
>I would like to pose a hypothetical question to any single willing to
>respond.  Here it is:
>
>   Would you be willing to give up a career, a new home, and a new car
>   for an everlasting and loving marriage?
> 

I presume you mean: will one give up their's for the sake of the other's.

i.e. I have a career a car and I did have a home, will I sacrafice my career
     and maybe have to give up my car 'cause I can't afford it anymore, for
     a woman who has a career somewhere I can't get a job?

     - Yes, I probably would, though 10yrs would be enough - "everlasting" is
       hard to believe in.

Kev.
-- 
Kevin Cameron          CLSI, Suite 100, 5457 Twin Knolls Rd., MD 21045, USA
kevin@clsi.com         Tel: (USA) (410) 992 5700 (- 5709) X229
uunet!clsi.com!kevin   Fax:       (410) 992 3536
----------------------------------------------------------- Reality Is virtual
Newsgroups: soc.singles