From: 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.)
Newsgroups: rec.autos.driving
Subject: Re: How To Drive the RIGHT way!
Date: 13 Nov 92 14:35:50 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: The Corporation.

In article <1992Nov12.235151.28508@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>, shultz_ed@macmail1.rtsg.mot.com writes:
> In article <Zyg4TB4w164w@cellar.org> blu@cellar.org (Dan Reed) writes:
>>
>>                   High Speed driving Tips, by Dan Reed
>>                                 (Humor)
> 
> EXCELLENT!!!
	Agreed.  Too bad I see idiots like those described in Dan Reed's
article everyday. 
> However, I have a corollary to rule #1 "Don't ever use turn signals".  There
> are two cases where you may use turn signals.  1.  AFTER you have entered a
> turn lane.  or 2.  AFTER you are at least half way between lanes when changing
> lanes.  In both of these cases, you do not convey any extra information to
> other drivers that they may use to figure out what the F*** you are trying to
> do until it is obvious to everyone!
> 
> -Ed S.
	I have another thing to add to rule #1 (about turn signals) too.

	You shouldn't forget the real reason turn signals are there-to confuse
the enemy (any other unfortunate soul who happens to be on the same road as you
are.)

	If you are turning right, use the left turn signal.  If you are turning
left, use the right turn signal.  If you aren't turning, use BOTH!  Remember,
its you against them and any little bit of stupidity you can employ will help.

        Another thing-since you are so busy, try and do everything you possibly
can do in life in your car.

        Don't just draw the line at eating a Mcdonald's meal while driving. 
Any rank amateur worth his or her weight in salt can do this.  No, move into
the big time.  Start shaving while driving (for you guys, that is) women can do
their makeup while driving.  Come on, what do you think all of those mirrors on
your car are for, anyway?  Safety?  Ha!  It's much better to leave a good
looking corpse...

	More things you can do while driving.  Hey, what you are really saying
here is that you are a time management master.  Don't bother just getting a
cellular phone anymore, get a cellular fax, and an answering machine.  Try and
arrange conference calls while faxing something that is much more important
than everybody else's safety on the road (including yours.)

	Another thing, if you have the dough, buy the most expensive car you
can, preferably a safe one, that way you don't have to "know" how to drive.  
If you have this much dough, believe that ABS means your car can stop from 90
to 0 in under a millisecond.

	Just because you're rich doesn't have to mean you're smart.  So, buy
the ugliest color you can imagine on a car.  

	True idiots don't draw the line of their stupidity by their driving, but
also get dumber when they park their car in the parking lot.  If you have, oh
say, a 1976 Oldsmobile cutlass that's more iron oxide than car, take up four
parking spaces, as you don't want anybody dinging your valuable possesion (like
anybody could tell with all that rust anyway.)

	Try and take up 6 parking spaces if you have an expensive car. 
Although it is noted that some idiot with the 1976 cutlass will park right next
to you, nobody will call you in to be towed because they realize you must have
enough money to buy all of the lawyers in the country, and then some.
	Remember, it's you against them out there.  Get them before they get
you.
-- 

 ______________________________________________________________________________
|Kyle S. Davis				                                       |
|2000HD	1MbRAM//                                Hot VWs               1973     |
|1084s       //  Only Amiga makes it possible,    \/   Take 2 home-   311      |
|Oki 20   \\//   All others make it plausible.   \/\/  They're small.          |
|
|______________________________________________________________________________|