From: ce425@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Danny Z. Clark)
Newsgroups: alt.surfing
Subject: Wave Heights
Date: 3 Sep 1992 21:55:05 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc5.ins.cwru.edu


I tried to post this yesterday, but it didn't go (at least I don't
think it did.  Soory if you get this twice.)


Due to the confusion in how to measure wave heights,
the United States Government is looking into the matter.
Below are transcripts of the first meeting that were
smuggled out by a close personal friend. 

			DannyZ
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Official Transcript from the Senate Sub-committee
on Wave Heights. The meeting was called to order at
9:30 am. Committee members present:

Jim Paymemore-D Utah,
Frank Swindle-R Ohio,
William Huckster-D Maine

Paymemore: Lets begin this meeting by introducing our 
expert witnesses that have kindly given of their time to 
be with us today. From Hawaii we have Kiko Kamahana, 
from San Calamity California we have Jimmy X and from 
Cuckoo Beach Florida we have Jon Ronny. Senator Huckster, 
could you bring us up to speed on the problems you see it. 

Huckster: Well the problem is there is not a standard way to 
measure wave heights. A 2 ft wave in Hawaii might be called 
a 4 ft wave in California and a double overhead monster on 
the East Coast. 

Swindle: How could this be? How many ways can there be to 
measure a wave?

Huckster:  Why don't we let our experts explain how they 
measure  waves.  We will start with Mr. X from California.

X: On the west coast we measure the wave by how high it is 
from the top to the bottom just before it breaks. We judge 
the height by comparing it to the oil platforms just offshore.  
Another method we use is by how hard it is to find  a parking 
place. For every five minutes you look for a place to  park, 
add one foot to the wave height. 

Huckster: Very good Mr. X, now lets hear from Mr Ronny 
from Florida.

Ronny: The right way to measure wave heights is with a 
ruler. Usually a one foot ruler will do, but during the Hurricane 
season we pull out the old yard stick. You just walk out into 
the waves and stop when your ankles get wet. Then push 
the ruler as deep into the sand as you can. Then just step back 
and wait for the next set wave to come crashing in. If the 
wave covers the ruler, then it was over one foot. Any thing 
else we measure in inches, although I heard that some guys 
in Virginia Beach were using the metric system, with wave
heights in millimeters. 

Huckster: Well that's very interesting, now Mr. Kamahana, 
will you bring  us up to speed on the Hawaiian method of 
measuring wave heights ? 

Kamahana: The right way to measure waves is from the 
back of the wave.

Swindle: How do you do that when you can't see the back 
of a wave ?


Kamahana:  Well,  we  don't actually measure the back of 
the  wave,  we  use something called the inverse haole 
formula.  The formula is 1/H * 50 =  wave height, where 
H = the number of haolis out at our local brake. 

Huckster:  So  let me see if I got this right, if there are 
50  haoles  out, then 1/50 * 50 would equal a 1 ft wave.

Kamahana: You got it bro, and if there is only 2 haoles 
out, we have a 25 ft monster! 

Huckster: Well then gentlemen, as you can see we have 
a problem as to  which of these methods if any should 
be adopted as the official wave height index. 

Paymemore: I move that we adjourn this meeting and 
re-convene in Hawaii next week for an extended stay 
so that we study the problem first hand. 

  
Swindle: I second the motion, this meeting stands 
adjourned.
-- 
             I Speak for everybody