X-Envelope-To: AUTISM%SJUVM.BITNET@pucc.Princeton.EDU
X-Vms-To: IN%"AUTISM%SJUVM.BITNET@pucc.Princeton.EDU",
          IN%"Thomas.Mckean@p0.f420.n141.z1.fidonet.org"
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.autism
Date:         Fri, 28 Aug 1992 13:41:00 +1000
              <AUTISM@SJUVM.BITNET>
From:         LNCJB@CC.NEWCASTLE.EDU.AU
Subject:      Re: My Response
X-To:         AUTISM%SJUVM.BITNET@pucc.Princeton.EDU,
              Thomas.Mckean@p0.f420.n141.z1.fidonet.org

Thomas,

Welcome! I had become intrigued about why you weren't on this list previously.
I had seen some of your postings on other lists and knew you to be 'one of
us'. Anyway, I'm glad you're here now.

This is going to be long, so I suppose I had better get on with it. You wrote:-

>  I, too, am a finicky
>eater.  I think this is a problem in the gustatory sense.  The
>thing is, most foods do NOT taste good to me.  There are VERY FEW
>foods I can tolerate to eat.  This is okay, I guess, because I
>also have zero appetite..[..]

My family are finicky eaters, but I wish they did have 'zero appetites'...
I never seem to be able to buy enough of the foods they like to keep them
happy......they have very expensive tastes.:-(

>  I was taking a course in Computer Science.  This particular
>class was prgramming in BASIC.  The teacher wrote some code on
>the blackboard to demonstrate something...  I walked up, out of
>the blue, ERASED a few of his lines of code, and added my own.
>And I said to him, "Look; if we write the program THIS way, we
>can save 7 lines of code!"  And it was TRUE that my way was more
>efficient.  He even admitted it!  But still, he INSISTED that we
>do it HIS way.  I did it MY way anyhow, and failed the course.
>:(  To this day, it confuses me.  If I was looking for a job as a
>programmer, and I used the code HE used, I would NEVER get a job!
>:(

Sounds exactly like something Chris would do. He had to go register for
unemployment benefit yesterday and spent most of his time explaining to
the CES officers what was wrong with the computer software they were using.

>  Re: SPEECH.  For me, there are two kinds of speech.  There is
>"instinctive" speesh, and there is "real" speech.  And the
>instinctive is the natural one for me.  It is the speech my brain
>tells me to use.  But it seems "inappropriate" for social
>situations.  (And all other situations, for that matter.)  So
>what I have to do, when I am talking (and sometimes TYPING), is
>"translate" the speech in my mind before I say it.  See?  I do
>not reverse pronouns, but I use third term a lot.  It is "safer"
>that way.  :)  I can't go around saying things like "Am true
>there" for "that is true" or even "I am going to build dinner"
>for "I am going to make dinner."  See?  Those are two examples.

There are two kinds of speech.....literal and non-literal. Non-literal speech
is something that autistic people have to learn how to use and comprehend...
comprehending is more difficult - we use non-literal speech in the form of
metaphors when we are describing something quite naturally, except it is very
often hard for normal people to understand our metaphors. Our metaphors tend
to be based on different attributes of the objects, than are normally perceived
as being the most striking or important attribute. Pronoun reversal usually
only occurs in our early years, so I not surprised that you don't do it now.
Using third person, is also indicative of autistic children, but I think that's
something that is more difficult to grow out of - I still occasionally lapse
into referring to myself as 'she' or 'Carolyn', although 'Mummy' is VERY often.
e.g. "Ask Tony to make Mummy a cup of coffee?"; "Mum's going down the street,
do you want anything?" - yes, I say this to the boys AND Kevin. I feel like
bashing my head against a wall when I do say this, but it comes more naturally
to me than referring to myself as 'I' or 'me'....perhaps it's just another
manifestation of the 'self/body' problem I have.

>  Allow ME to go on record (however LATE it may be) as agreeing
>with the rest of the people here.  Yes, you r privacy WAS
>invaded.  :(  I am having similar difficulties.  I am trying to
>get the records from the institution where I was for three years.
>They will NOT give them to me.  Mira Rothenberg has volunteered
>to get them for me, and I think I will let her go at it.  :)  If
>anyone can get them, SHE can.  I just wish they would give me
>what is rightfully mine, instead of making me do it the hard way.
>They said they WOULD give me my records, but only if I was
>willing to pay the cost of $0.75 a page.  At *that* outragous
>price, we are looking at over $400.00 for my records!  ARGH!

Yes, it really does stink, doesn't it? Last week on our local news there
was a story of a man who decided to change ENT specialists. He sent $10
to the first doctor for a copy of his records (couldn't have been very
extensive), but when he didn't receive them by the day of his first
appointment with the second one, he went to the office to  pick them up.
The doctor was out (playing golf presumably) and the secretary who had them
on her desk already refused to give them to him. So he just took them. The
next he knew he was up before the court for stealing. Despite the outcome
of the case (I think it was dismissed under Section 556A....which meant he
had to pay court costs but no conviction was recorded), I can't accept that
he did anything wrong, I feel that the doctor should have been the one before
the court for withholding his documents.

>  As I was going through a list of symtoms of Autism one day, I
>found one I had never seen before.  "Unusual Need For Mutual
>Gaze."  In other words, a "vacant stare."  I, too, have this
>problem.  There is something very alluring about the EYES of
>another person.  It is almost as if you can communicate through
>the stare.  Kind of a psionic communication.  Perhaps what we,
>the autistics, are hoping to establish, is a "link" with the
>other person.

I guess there's no doubt about my 'autism' then. I normally 'fix' on people's
eyes so I can 'feel' what they're saying, but if I want to 'hear' what they're
saying, I have to 'stare into space'. From a person's eyes, I can usually tell
if they're lying, exaggerating, etc. Some people can tell this from 'body
language' for me it's the 'eye language'. My penetrating gaze has unnerved
many a 'practiced conman'. :-)

>Thanks to the recent conference in Albuquerque,
>the reports of telepathy among autistics is NOT going to be
>ignored any longer.  The Adriana Foundation is looking into it.
>:)  So are many other people.  I talked to Kristi Jorde long ago
>about Adriana and she brought up the telepathy issue.  This
>really surprised me, because I knew that *I* could do it, too,
>but had NO idea that it was autism related.  We discussed our
>mutual "abilities" (which differ significantly), and Kristi made
>me PROMISE not to tell anyone about the conversation.  Then, at
>the conference, she lifted the promise.  :)  I think that maybe
>in a lot of cases, this is the reason for the "vacant stare."  It
>may SEEM vacant, but it is not.

Yep, 'psychic ability' does seem to be part of the 'autistic condition' - a
few of the others and I have been having private discussions (offlist) about
such things. I guess we still feel a bit weird about having an open discussion
of it just yet though.

>  Finally, I have NO mathematical prowess whatsoever.  :(  How I
>*do* wish I got that with the package!

The only major problems I ever had with mathematics was with mental arithmetic;
mathematical questions written in words; and remembering theorems and formulae.
If I hadn't been so pig-headed, I probably would have given up on it in
primary school...but I developed 'visual' strategies to overcome these
particular problems and then my true mathematical prowess came to the fore.

In a message to Curtis, you wrote:-

>  Regarding Natalie and the personal space, I think I may be able
>to answer this.  I have a VERY strong craving for PRESSURE.  :(
>Also, though, I have an even STRONGER craving for TOUCH.  People
>have told me it is the same craving, but it is NOT.  Yes, I do
>like when people hold me very tight.  But there is a difference.
>You can be squeezed by someONE or you can be squeezed by
>someTHING.  And when you are squeezed by someTHING, you are
>lacking the "magic" of being squeezed by someONE.  There is
>something almost symbiotic about it.  Like you are "draining" the
>someONE of something.  Energy, courage, SOMETHING.  But it is a
>necessary draining.

I think you've described this very well. I, too, like to be squeezed by
a 'warm' person....it is horrific though, if the person doing the squeezing
is 'cold'.....they draw all the energy from you instead, leaving you with
no resistence to these unwanted attentions at all...just a cold horrible
empty feeling.

>Keep in mind, this is a PLATONIC thing.  I have absolutely ZERO sex
>drive.  One of the things that confuses me the MOST in this world is the
>emphasis people put on sex.  I will *never* see what the big deal is.

For me there is nothing nicer than being cuddled by a 'warm, sexy' man.....
then there is a two-way energy flow, but when the energy flow stops, I rarely
give sex a single thought. I never want sex, it just happens. :-)

Carolyn
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