From: w2lee@argo.acs.oakland.edu (Walter Lee)
Subject: Re: Sex and Therapists (was Re: Tough questions.)
Reply-To: w2lee@argo.acs.oakland.edu
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester, MI
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 01:58:40 GMT

In article <1e6nq7INN5t@flop.ENGR.ORST.EDU>, hackbod@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU (Dianne Hackborn) writes:

>One book that I would highly recommend for a broader view of "What
>Is A Transsexual" is:
>
>"The Uninvited Dilemma"  by Kim Elizabeth Stuart
>ISBN: 1-55552-013-8
>Published by:
>Metamporphous Press
>P.O. Box 10616
>Portland, OR 97210-0616
>
>[Yep, right here in little 'ol Oregon. :)]
>
>I got my copy through IFGE.

Yup.  This and "In search of Eve" by Ann Bolin are the most informative books
I've read so far.  And both by GG's!  Who'd figure?

>One very interesting quote (from page 43):
>"Among the male-to-female transsexuals I interviewed, eighty-seven
>percent told me they had some form of sexual arousal when they dressed
>in female clothing, at least at some point in their lives.  Others
>continued to have sexual stimulation until they started taking
>estrogenic hormones."

Also says in there we're a very intellectually sophisticated demographic group. 
Comes from having a rich fantasy life, you know.

>scg@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Kelly) writes:
>>>>Unfortuantely, the psychiatric establishment often makes you do so if
>>>>you want do anything about it. :(
>>
>>>I haven't really encountered that.  I first started seeing a
>>>psychologist while I was home this summer, and I told her up front
>>>that the main reason I was seeing her was because that's what you
>>>need to do to get approval for hormones, etc.  She never made me feel
>>>like I had anthing to prove and allowed to me talk freely about all
>>>of the doubts and questions I had.  [And don't get the wrong
>>>impression about my saying that I was mostly seeing her to get
>>>approval -- I had a LOT of doubts and questions. :)]
>>
>>I'm tempted to take this tack when I go in for counseling (Nov.
>>24th)....  at this point I have pretty much accepted the fact that I
>>am TS and nearly need to determine now what I am going to do about it.
>
>I don't want to give the impression that this was any "plan" that I
>had to make her believe I am TS.  I had decided that telling my
>therapist the complete truth was _the_ most important thing, both just
>in case there was some Major Thing that I was over-looking and so that
>she would actually be able to help me.  It just so happened that what
>I told her _was_ the truth. :)  [At least that was my initial reason
>for seeing her.  There turned out to be a lot of other good reasons to
>see her. :)]

My next shrink will be a shrink who does referrals for the pragmatic reason
that shrinks cost money.  But I have never and will never misrepresent myself
to a shrink.

>>>Actually, when I first started seeing her I told her I was planning
>>>on transitioning during Spring break... then we started talking about
>>>doing it at Christmas break.  However, I realized in a little while
>>>that it would just be too soon and told her that I would rather wait
>>>until spring.  She replied that that was fine, but if I later decided
>>>to wait until summer, "we would have to have a _serious_ talk." :)
>>
>>I want to transition soon (the target I had was May of 1993), but my
>>wife is insisting on a gradual process... so it might be a few years
>>before I can.
>
>"Gradual" all depends on your perspective. :)  I don't know if I'm
>going slow or fast - I'll be transitioning almost exactly one year
>after I was first able to tell someone about myself...  which seems kind
>of fast.  On the other hand, I spent many many years before that calling
>myself a "latent transsexual" [don't ask. :)] and admitting that I'll
>probably "have to do something at some point", but being unable to
>imagine myself ever actually doing this...  At any rate, I'm just
>going at the speed I'm comfortable with.

Oyvay!  I'm all of 27 and still in the nest.  Marginally employed.  Trying to
change my major from Math to C.S. retroactively.  And starting to have doubts
whether that field will ever really open up again.

It seems like anything that's a step toward getting "established" is a step
backward vis-a-vis gender congruity.  And vice versa.

>>>Darn money...  But one day, I promise, I will own a corset. ;)
>>
>>Ooooh, don't tempt me.  :)
>
>Ahhhh... but you can always fantasize... :)

Fantasy is an exercise in frustration...When I indulge in fantasy, I pay the
price in tears  :-(

But sometime between now and XMAS I will own an outfit if not a wardrobe.  Tis
the season to go shopping less conspicuously.

>>>>Oh well.  I just had to reply because I felt such a connection to
>>>>Dianne I couldn't let it go by unsaid.  Long lost sister, maybe?
>>>>*grin*
>>
>>>Perhaps, sis. :)  *hug*
>>
>>You too.  *hugs*  Too bad you're too far away for real ones. :(
>
>Yeah, the Fundamental Problem with the net. :/  *hug*

*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*
*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*
*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*
*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*
*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*
*hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Walter Lee                                          w2lee@argo.acs.oakland.edu

 My dog chases cars.
 The only thing worse than a VAX is a VAX running VMS.
                                                           mucho *hugs* to all!
Newsgroups: alt.transgendered