From: an5342@anon.penet.fi
Subject: [no subject (Software Swipped from Spuddy)]
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: alt.transgendered
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 19:18:29 GMT



Hi there,
	
	I've been following this newsgroup since it started last year.  I
was so pleased to see the group start, because previously I had no contact
with other CDers at all!

I've decided to post my biography to the net - I expect a lot of people will
relate to it!  If you're not in the mood to stomach it, please skip now. 
Thanks. :-)
 
I a 22 years old student at a University in West London, 
England.  It's not a particular large university, so my efforts at finding a
TV/TS support group didn't go far - I was pointed to the gay/lesbian
society.  Not a good start.  I have always been attracted to women's
clothes, for as long as I can remember.  As a young child, I can remember
thinking "why was I born a boy?  I should have been a girl."  At primary
school, almost all my friends were girls.  At the time it didn't mean
anything significant, but I guess I just couldn't relate to the aggresive,
arrogant male stereotype that all the boys were trying to live up to.
I had big problems at Secondary School.  I lost all my female friends, and
being the shy type, I didn't make many new ones.  I still couldn't relate to
my male peers.  As a consequence I was bullied rotten at school, mainly for
being a "cissy" and also because I refused to play "one of the lads" with
them.  This resulted in most of my school life being spent in depression,
although luckily I managed to drag myself up to get O-levels.

For the first 18 years of my life, I unsuccesfully attempted to repress my
TV feelings.  But sometimes the urges were just too strong to resist - at
the age of 13, I tried on my Mum's petticoat.  The sexual response amazed me
at the time, being the ignorant young person most of us are at 13.  I felt
as guilt as hell afterwards.  In the following years, I tried on more:
Skirts, blouses, tights, makeup etc.  Unfortunately my mum is one of these
people who knows if anything has moved in the house, so all these dressing
sessions had to be planned with military precision! :-)  Luckily I was never
caught.  

When I left home (thank god) to go to university, I no longer had the means
to crossdress, so I suppressed it again, quite succesfully for a while - for
the first time in my life I found I could mix with friends of both sexes. 
At the end of my first year (March 1990), I started going out with my 
girlfriend.  Oops, once again I had the opportunity to crossdress, which
eventually I did.  About 3 months into the relationship I tried to discuss
my feelings with her but she got very defensive, saying that "I want to go
out with a man, not a woman.".  There it stayed for a couple of years, with
me crossdressing more frequently, until it was nearly every time I was
alone!  

Last december, our relationship had reached crisis point.  She was
very wound up about everything I did; I couldn't bare to talk to her some
nights.  I decided enough was enough - I told her about my cross-dressing. 
She told me it was that what was causing the problems.  She was worried I
might turn transsexual, or want to go out in public dressed.  It was very
difficult to persuade her otherwise.  I was very suprised by her almost
complete ignorance about transvestites and transsexuals.  For her, a TV is
gay and camp.  She was also worried that if she incoraged my crossdressing,
it might get out of control and grow into something big.  I had to persuade
her that her denial of it was having a bad effect on me; I was very
depressed and my university work was suffering.  Now, after a long time, she
is finally accepting my crossdressing, even though she doesn't want to see
me while I am dressed.  To all of you out there who want to tell your
partner, I found that I had to break it to her very gently and subtly; It's
very easy to jump to the wrong conclusion and storm out of the room.

The improvement in our relationship was amazing, we hardly argue now and I
feel that the last "barrier" between us has gone; I've purged the skeleton
in my closet! :-)

Well, I guess that's about it, thanks for reading my biography.  I must say
I really enjoy reading all the posts on this newsgroup, and I've met some
great people through it.  Long live alt.transgendered!

Love,

Karen Rose.

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