From: nvonstein@memstvx1.memst.edu
Newsgroups: rec.pets.cats
Subject: Re: help!!!
Date: 11 Jan 93 22:51:01 GMT
Distribution: rec.pets.cats
Organization: Memphis State University

In article <SBILES.93Jan10171640@dante.nmsu.edu>, sbiles@nmsu.edu (Susannah E Biles) writes:
> 
> Help kitty friends! I need a lot of advice and facts/figures.
> 
> Background:
> me - Susan, 23, female, single, college grad student, live with sister
> and two cats (both male,neutered, under 2 yrs). Very emotional, lack
> of logic in my reasoning.Have been owned by up to 5 cats at a time 
> since birth.
> 
> boyfriend - 24,  male, single, college grad, lives w/ mom, very analytical
> and logical,  NEVER EVER HAD A PET IN WHOLE LIFE.
> 
> us - been dating for 2 years, never lived together.
> 
> problem - his lack of understanding of the importance of pets in pet
> lovers life. Of course that is rather an understatement. He says they
> are cute, they can be fun. Hates the smell, the 'inconvenience' of
> cleaning litter boxes, feeding etc. etc. Doesn't understand the
> emotional connection. "It is just a CAT" (heard that before?)
> So...how did I end up with him? Good question. The cats were not a
> problem in the beginning. I hadn't realized the extent of his "just
> putting up with them" until recently. Now it has almost gotten to the
> point that I have to choose between them. My cats are extremely
> important to me...my boyfriend is extremely important to me. I can't
> fathom giving my cat away for him! I can't fathom giving up my
> boyfriend for them!
> After major arguments the past few days, and after him demanding a
> logical argument for the cats, NOT an emotional one, and me being able
> to do this to an extent until I was in hysterics and him finally
> conceding and maybe realizing a little bit of how important they are,
> we are at sort of a compromise. BUT, he still has a MAJOR problem with
> my seeming to hold cats in a higher regard than humans. He is just not
> a pet owner and he freely admits that and in the past two years has
> tried to understand, and adjust. BUT he is a bit on the anal retentive
> side, wants to be a doctor and is VERY clean. Hates the idea of cats
> walking around in a human living space.
> *sigh*
> Well, I guess I just want advice from any of you who may have gone
> through this with a loved one, a significant other, and what
> solutions, compromises you made and if they worked.
> 
> As far as the facts and figures I wanted....well, he is of the idea
> that he can get diseases, or sick from a cat. Is this true? Does
> anyone have any documented evidence on one side or the other? I don't
> mean deathly illnesses, he isn't that silly, but he doesn't want to
> even get a common cold from a cat. ( I know..then he should live in a
> closet where he is in contact with no one , and nothing, right? Well,
> he sees it as "it isn't realisitic to try to control the people 'out
> there' but I can control my environment 'in here'") Does that make
> sense? 

I expect that he will be exposed to more diseases by his patients than he will
any cat.  His environment will be full of it, unless he is planning to be a
psychiatrist or some other 'hands-off' specialty.  

Just wondering.  Don't know what else to say other than relationships are hard
sometimes.  

Nancy

> I know..I love my cats..throw the bf out, right? Well,
> unfortunately  the relationship has gone far enough that I am at an
> impasse. The only solution is to convince him to like my kitties, or
> accept them. And if I can get a few facts to atleast show him that he
> doesn't have to fear disease, then I am one step closer to happiness.
> 
> Sorry this was so long and melodramatic, but if anyone can help, I
> would appreciate it alot!
> 
> please reply via e-mail or posting - sbiles@dante.nmsu.edu
> 
> Thanks
> Susan
Newsgroups: rec.pets.cats