From: lkue0103@rz.uni-hildesheim.de (Lars Kuehn)
Subject: Re: Analverkehr, Maenner
Reply-To: lkue0103@rz.uni-hildesheim.de
Organization: Universitaet Hildesheim, RZ
Distribution: world
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 14:47:56 GMT

Hi there,
 zum Thema Analverkehr kann ich zwar aus eigener Erfahrung nichts sagen,
doch das alt.sex-FAQ ist sehr informativ in dieser Hinsicht (und nicht nur
in dieser). Ich habe den Teil ueber Analsex einfach mal an mein Posting
hinten dran gepackt (gehoert es da nicht auch hin? :)) ).


In article 3148@horga.ruhr.de, christa@horga.ruhr.de (Christa Keil) writes:
>Sollte ich nun sagen, das es fuer Informatiker dann absolut typisch
>ist das sie asexuell sind  und das einzige Verhaeltnis was sie bis
>zur Rente haben, das zu ihrem Computer ist ??

 Ich habe einmal in einer Statistik gelesen, dass in der Computerbranche
zehnmal so viele (latent) homosexuelle Maenner herumlaufen als in der gesamten
Mode- und Kosmetikbranche. (an die Quelle kann ich mich leider nicht mehr
erinnern. :( ). 
 Dass Informatiker so einen asexuellen Ruf haben, kommt, denke ich mir,
wohl daher, dass sie in einem sehr ratio-betontem Beruf arbeiten und auch
schon lange gearbeitet haben (wann fangen heute die Kiddies an, vor ihren
Kisten zu hocken?), so dass sie nicht so viel Zeit auf das Erlernen von
einem bewussten Umgang mit ihren Emotionen haben und deshalb sich auch selten
in die Gefilde der Emotio begeben, die mit denen des Eros doch sehr dicht bei-
sammen liegen. Sie reden meist ueber Computer, lesen Computer-buecher und sind
so hinter einem Schutzwall vor den "Normalbuergern", der sie einerseits vor
gefuehlsmaessigen "Angriffen" behuetet, andererseits aber auch von eben diesen
verstaendnislosen Buergern abschottet, so dass diese mit Computerfreaks und an-
verwandten nichts zu tun haben (koennen? wollen?). 
 Auf diesen Lernrueckstand in Sachen Gefuehl fuehre ich auch zurueck, dass es
sehr wenige Informatiker (Ausnahmen bestaetigen gluecklicherweise die Regel)
gibt, die zu ihrer Homosexualitaet stehen (oder vielleicht ueberhaubt davon
wissen? Die versuchen es dann lieber (vergeblich oder unbefriedigend) mit
Frauen, da sie sich die eigene Einstellung nicht eingestehen (is ja pfui und
alles schweinekram!), und sie lebten ungluecklich bis an ihr Lebensende...),
dabei sagt die Statistik doch, das etwa jeder 10. Normmann starke homosexuelle
Veranlagungen hat, wie hoch muss dann erst die Zahl bei meinen Kommilitonen.

 Ich will mit diesem Artikel nicht allzusehr verallgemeinern, doch in meinem
Semester zumindest laufen recht viele "Gefuehlskrueppel" (allgemein, nicht 
speziell homosexuell) herum, denenmit den richtigen Erlebnissen (nein, ich meine 
jetzt nicht gerade Sex! :) )eine voellig neue Welt, naemlich die ihrer eigenen Gefuehle, geoeffnet werden koennte.
 Ich will die Leute auch nicht verdammen, auch wenn ich teilweise ein paar
harte Vokabeln benutzt habe.
 Und ich will mich auch nicht ueber meine Kollegen und Kommilitonen stellen,
ich merke, dass ich selbst auch Probleme habe, mit meinen Gefuehlen klarzu-
kommen (und immer in den unpassensten Momenten *schnief* ), und ich hoffe,
dass sich die schwulen Leser nicht durch meine Begriffe gestoert fuehlen, wenn
doch, dann flames nach /def/null...

tschoe, Lars

+----------------------------------------------------
| "Es gibt kein Problem, was man nicht / Lars Kuehn  \_______
| mit dem Rosenkranz loesen koennte." / voice: D-05121/157241\______
|      -Der Glanz dieser Tage-       / lkue0103@rz.uni-hildesheim.de\
+-------------------------------------------------------------------/


So, und hier folgt das repost aus dem alt.sex-FAQ. Viel Spass!

---------schneid----------cut--------schnippel----------reiss-----------beiss----


c3-3. What should I do to make (the first attempt at) anal sex easiest?
   
   Compiled, edited, and reorganized by adchen@phoenix.princeton.edu
     with material from (stsou@hpcupt1.cup.hp.com (Sharon Tsou), KAT,
     clw5@po.CWRU.Edu (Christopher L. Wood), kwatsi@athena.mit.edu 
     (Atomic Playboy), and rpeck@jessica.stanford.edu (Raymond Peck)

   STRETCH FIRST

   The key is to attempting anal sex is two-fold:  stretching exercises and 
   relaxation.  This is to accomplish two things:

     1) to get your virgin ass used to something inside it, and 
     2) to get your ass used to something as large as your partner's cock.

   Stretching exercises will give you a chance to learn the needed relaxation 
   for the first attempt.  The faster you learn to relax the muscles involved,
   the easier it will be.  You can use either a dildo or fingers for the
   stretching exercises.

   
   USING A DILDO 

   These are available at just about every adult bookstore and many
   mail-order places (see question c2-6).  Once you get one, you should 
   just practice using it.  You'll probably find it easier to at least use 
   some lubricant, at least on the first couple inches of it (more on this
   later), as well as on your asshole, and a little inside your anus. 

   This is to make the penetration much easier. The actual penetration of 
   the head of the penis is probably the most difficult part, which is why 
   a dildo is more realistic, and you should most likely spend a fair 
   amount of time getting used to it.  This can either be just inserting 
   it up to the head, then pulling it out and putting it in again, or 
   completely inserting it, and then removing it.  You should do it enough 
   until you get to the point where you feel pretty comfortable with it. 
   (Well, as comfortable as it can be.).

   There are two steps to practice insertion with the dildo.  First, you want 
   to insert it the "normal" way, moving and rotating the dildo around to 
   find the most comfortable position for you.  Do it this way, so that you 
   know which ways are more acceptable, and which ways are more difficult or 
   feel a bit painful.

   When you have this down, you want to repeat the "exercise", only now 
   trying to keep the dildo as stationary as possible, moving your ass and 
   body to facilitate its entry. This is a better simulation of when he 
   really tries to penetrate you, because (especially if you're on the bottom 
   and he's on the top) you really can't expect to be able to reach around 
   and move his cock to where you want it.  You're going to have to be able 
   to adjust your body to his thrusts. I really can't tell you the best way 
   to do this, although doing it in whatever position you expect to be in 
   with him (on your stomach or back, for example) would probably be the 
   best way to also practice it.


   USING FINGERS

   All you need are your or your partner's fingers. Of course, you can't
   have long nails.  You start out by slowly pushing one well-lubricated
   finger (index is best and hand lotion or vaginal juices work fine).

   Slowly move this in and out, gradually pressing more against the walls 
   of the anus. Since an "anal virgin" will probably be nervous about this, 
   his/her anal muscles will tend to contract, causing pain. So it helps if 
   he/she/you (I'll use 'she' from now on) reads, listens to music, or 
   masturbates so her mind will be off her anus. After the muscles loosen 
   up, put another finger in along with the first, and then keep moving 
   them the same way. Eventually, add a third, and, usually, by the time 
   you can put four fingers in comfortably, an average sized penis should 
   be able to fit (although keep in mind most penises are *longer* than 
   fingers, so you may not be able to push it in as far). 


   THE REAL THING
 
   USE A CONDOM AND LUBRICANT

   When the time comes that you do have anal sex with him, I would
   recommend having a condom. I think we all know the potential dangers of 
   sex (especially anal sex) when not using one, so there's no real 
   explanation needed. 

   They also help reduce the mess (although if you go to the bathroom before 
   this, and wash your ass with a wet rag, the inside of your rectum will be 
   quite clean, and you should be able to put a finger in it without it 
   picking up any solid particles), and you can have anal sex with a condom 
   on, then pull off the condom and have vaginal sex. Remember to urinate 
   before getting buttfucked, because this position puts pressure on the 
   bladder.

   The next item is a good lubricant. I always use it with my one inch 
   thick dildo, so I have to think you would definitely need to use some 
   with a much larger real cock. While Vaseline is okay to use when practising 
   yourself, it is unacceptable to use when using a condom, since it will 
   start to break the latex down. KY is usually the preferred choice.

   Lube up both the outside of the anus and the penis shaft (very important!).
   Any lubricant that is condom compatible is ok, that means water-based.
   So do not use vaseline, baby oil, or cold cream.  Use KY Jelly, AstroGlide,
   HR, or PrePair.  PrePair is a good one because it contains nonoxynyl-9,
   which is a spermicide that also can kill many bacteria.  Spit is also
   a viable lubricant, provided that you keep replenishing it.  It
   evaporates more readily than other lubricants, especially during lengthy
   (ho ho) sessions, so you'll have to be aware.


   GOING FOR IT:  take it *slow*

   Okay, now that we've got the preparatory details out of the way, it's
   time to enter.  You should proceed VERY slowly.  Place the head of
   your penis against the anus, and then, apply a SMALL amount of
   pressure so that the penis enters very slowly.  It is important to
   maintain control on entry because if you apply too much pressure and
   the anal muscles just 'give way' it could hurt like hell.  Once you
   two become accustomed to doing this, it will become much easier.

   Getting inside may take anywhere from 15 seconds to 15 minutes.  Don't
   be impatient!  If you push too hard or go too fast, you can tear her.  
   This isn't really serious, but it'll surely end you fun for the day!  She
   may want you to ease up on the pressure at times to allow her body to get
   used to the opening.  When she gives you the go-ahead, it often helps to do 
   a bit of short stroking, starting with ~1/8" and going to maybe 1".  When 
   you start to slide inside, she will most likely open up and relax better.

   Don't start out thrusting, just gently move back and forth, or just get 
   it inside and rest it there until she's used to it. 

   This is the most important part for her comfort and pleasure.  Basically, 
   you apply a bit of pressure, and as she relaxes she will let you in.  
   Sometimes the act of her "pushing out" (like defecating) will relax her 
   sphincter.  After you become more used to it, a slight (~ 1/4") pumping 
   of the pressure will let her open up faster.

   Sometimes she will find it painful for you to go in all the way:
   it's similar to hitting the cervix.  Don't go in all the way! 
   Just be very gentle at bottom of the stroke 'till it eases up.

   After a while, if she is properly relaxed, you should not need to be
   gentle: you can pump away with mad abandon.  In fact, some find this
   most stimulating.  I pump all the way in, and then all the way out,
   pulling completely out of her for a moment (although not too long, 'cause
   she'll start to contract right away).


   OTHER STUFF

   Never switch orifices (i.e. going from anal to vaginal play) without 
   carefully washing with soap and water.  Bacteria from the colon can cause
   nasty vaginal infections.  If you are using sex toys (dildos or anal plugs)
   cover it with a condom first, so you can simply pull off the condom and
   put on a fresh one to use on another orifice or another partner, provided
   that you don't have contaminated lubricant oozing all over the place.

   You may or may not be need some type of pillow. This is basically to 
   prop under the ass or lay under the stomach to make the angle of 
   penetration a little easier.  Whether you need this will depend on 
   where you have sex (it may be impractical to bring one, or the positioning 
   may be good enough already).

   If you are into learning from pornography (and if you just want a good
   laugh ;-)) I would suggest that you check out Hollywood Video's "The
   Best of Caught From Behind: Part II".  It's very pornographic, very
   informative, and very funny.  It's up to you though.


   POSITIONS

   As for positions, it's usually easiest for insertion (unless she's 
   *really* excited!) in the spoon position.  This also gives you access 
   to easily stimulate her in other ways.  Be careful not to transfer anything 
   from the anal region to the vagina: this can cause infections.  I usually 
   keep a set of fingers or a hand "clean" for this purpose.  This is also, of 
   course, important for non-intercourse anal stimulation, such as cunnilingus 
   with some fingers rubbing, some inside her vagina, and some in her anus.  
   Keep those fingers partitioned!

   We usually switch to "on the knees-face in the pillow, her pressing hard
   on her clit and pubic bone", to avoid severe abrasion burns!  ;-)  Spoon
   position allows her more control over initial insertion, while the other, 
   well, it has its own advantages!

   The other positions, after initial insertion, to face-to-face, with her 
   legs on my shoulders.  This really allows some serious depth.

   The position depends largely on how well you two fit together.  If you 
   are tall and if your SO is short, you might want to try having her lie 
   flat on her stomach.  You could also have her lie on her back with her 
   knees drawn up.  In this situation, it might be a good idea to place a 
   pillow under her buttocks (depending on what the two of you like).  If 
   dimensional factors permit, she could also be on her hands and knees.  



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