From: clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu)
Subject: Re: Call For New FAQ
Organization: Nynex Science and Technology
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 92 12:46:23 GMT

In article <1992Aug14.192232.786@overload.lbl.gov> rhlu@ux5.lbl.gov (richard lu) writes:
>
>
>True, this is the most common one (at least from what I've seen).
>But dontcha HATE it when the AAM&/F's _parents_ are doing the set-up!?
>Try this one:
>  Mom:  Richard?  How would you like to go over to the X's and help
>	their daughter bake a cake?
>  me:  i-don't-think-so (most effective when said as fast as possible
>       or as slow as possible)
>
  Oh, this happens to us too.  Isn't it funny how my family (3 girls 1 boy)
  always seems to get invited to dinner and viola, there is a family with
  (3 boys 1 girl).  The other kids are on their best behavior, wearing
  white pants (did anyone notice that AA boys wear white pants a lot when
  they're little), and we're dressed in our low-rider jeans.  The other
  family's girl is a gracious little hostess and our girls are wild pigs
  gobbling up everything in sight.  Luckily my parents are clueless as to
  why they were invited, thinking it is to meet an old common teacher of
  a common friend of an uncle (etc.)  The food is great, we shock the other
  kids with our language doing our best BEV (black english vernacular).
  My parents get bored of real-estate talk (living in Carson surrounded
  by oil refineries does wonders to your real-estate value), and everyone
  leaves with a stuffed belly-ache.  Just before leaving, the mother of the
  family says, "Drive up and see us sometime, A. and B. would love to play
  tennis with you."  and to my brother, "Are there any Chinese events at
  CalTech?  C. would like to go to some dances."  My dad still can't figure
  out the connection between the guest of honor and himself, and my mom is
  oblivious to the hints, thinking that maybe C. would like to go to
  CalTech to become a future engineer.  Needless to say, we never get invited
  by the same group twice.  :-)
>
>
>>Scene 3:
>
>> 1)  The religious interested AAF will appear very concerned
>>  about your spiritual life.  She'll invite you to the youth
>>   group meetings at her church.
>
>This was one _weird_ deal.  Being the secular dude that I am, I
>admit that I was only there b/c of the free sushi.  :P  I ate so
>much I _could not_ run away.  Met alot of cool people, though.

  This happens to AAFs too.  I was getting invited to Chinese
  Bible Study by three or four different dudes.  I'd always ask
  "What are they serving?"  They always had some food, but I
  liked the spaghetti dinners best because they had Parmesan cheese
  and my dad never let me "waste" Parmesan cheese (we were allowed
  3 shakes).  Of course my parents only let me go if my trusty
  Chinese-American friend Julie did the driving.  Sushi???  Where
  did you get sushi?  
>
>>Scene 4:
>>
>>  1)  The gluttonous interested AAF will frequently talk about
>>    restaurants in front of you.  "I just love Mexican food,
>>      my friends went to the Green Onion and had fajitas.  They
>>	said it was muy excellente."
>
>Ha ha!  If only this scenario happened more often, eh?  But heck,
>how can you be sure that this is a "hint?"  I think I hear this from
>everbody I know!  >burp<  'Scuse me!  8)

  Well I bugged my husband about Mexican food all the time, even though
  we're on the East Coast.  He knows that the best way to cheer me up
  is to get me a burrito.  My son's (18-months) is on this burrito
  kick where he won't eat anything else.  He yells "Bee-oh" in between
  "Moo" (milk) all day long.
>
>
>>Scene 7:
>>
>>  1)  The unbalanced AAF will pronounce that her therapist has
>>    decided that she get out more.  Therefore as part of her
>>      therapy, you, designated harmless nice AA boy, will help
>> 	her to the road of recovery littered with the relics of
>>	ye-many white men.
>>   2)  Run away screaming for the hills.
>
>I hear Saskatchuan (sp?) is a haven for those on the lam from such
>women.  Maybe that's why my bud in Regina is always asking me to visit?  :)

  This reminds me of a distant cousin of mine.  Her favorite line is
  "Hi I'm Germaine and I work for the CIA.  My therapist says that
  I should be assertive and straightforward."  I have many Germaine
  the Germ stories to tell, including the time she came to visit my
  mom and brother and dragged them on a wild goose chase throughout
  L.A. in search of John.  My mom finally handed her off to Aunt Betty
  who helped her trap her quarry.  It turns out that John was just a guy
  she danced with at her health club and made the mistake of giving her
  his number.  Through diligent detective work, the Germ found out that
  he moved to L.A., tracked several of his friends, and even went to
  a department store to interview a former friend of John at the men's
  perfume counter.  

  The Germ's favorite modus operandi is to go to weddings and dance with
  prospective guys.  Then she gets their names and phone numbers and
  does a whole network of friends and family so that the guy cannot
  even get away.  She tracks down his sister's boyfriend's aunt's
  cousin's friend's brother to get information if necessary.  She
  keeps a little book of relevant information about where people live,
  work, whose friends they have, where they hang out, so that even
  moving 3000 miles cross country isn't enough to get away from the Germ.
  Needless to say, after one disastrous visit, the Germ is not welcome
  at any of our homes, and not invited to any of our weddings.  
>
>
>Ya know, I noticed this "3rd Wheel" syndrome ALOT when it came to AA 
>"dating."  It wasn't just an AAF thing either.  My roomate during my
>sophmore year (AAM) literally dragged his best friend with him when he
>went out for his rendezvous.  I thought this was cute  :)  I later was
>told by a girlfriend (she was raised in Taiwan as a kid) that the 3rd
>person was known as the "light-bulb" (a direct translation from the
>Mandarin:  dun (1st tone?) pao (4th tone).  Does this ring any bells?

  Oh yes, that reminds me of the time I was the "light-bulb" for some
  girl playing tennis with some guy.  All I did was run after the ball.
>

  But beware guys:  If after the third or fourth date there is still
  a light-bulb tagging along...  I had this roomate from Taiwan who
  had a friend who was always tagging along.  Anyway this sort of old-fashioned
  nerdy med student with horn-rim glasses used to ask her out.  She
  was the type who felt that it was better to go on a date with someone
  she didn't like than to stay home alone.  So her friend was always tagging
  along.  They used to laugh and talk about the guy calling him
  "shiao(3) pan(4) chiu(2)" (little fat ball).  But they went to all
  the expensive Chinese restaurants.  They were really into getting those
  free meals.  In fact they asked me to come along to run up the bill.
  I said I didn't feel like it and they thought I was stupid.
  They used to go dancing after the meal and guess who did the dancing
  and who sat on the sidelines?  The two girls danced and "shaio(3)pan(4)chiu(2)"
  sat on the sidelines and ordered drinks for them.  One day, I think
  the guy was getting upset with my roomate for bringing her friend along
  all the time.  And it looked like he might call off the dates.  So
  my roommate told me that we were going to (all three of us) fix a
  dinner party for John (the guy).  I thought it was pretty hypocritical,
  but we all went out and bought a lot of food, and then my roommate and
  her friend made a nice dinner.  That seemed to appease John and the
  threesome started going out again.  That was until a white guy came
  along and asked my roommate out.  Suddenly I was left taking all the
  calls and explaining how my roommate was not available anymore.  John
  was very angry and hurt.

  Oh, by the way, all three of them treated me as "The American".  They
  were definitely not AA.  I'm surprised to hear that AsAm people are
  still using "light-bulbs".