HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: claire@chopin.udel.edu (Claire Elizab Barna)
Subject: Re: lumberjack song
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 02:18:13 GMT

In article <1g9u3fINNjs3@ricotta.csv.warwick.ac.uk> mapac@csv.warwick.ac.uk (Mr H M Brown) writes:
>
>
>
>	Could someone please e-mail me the lyrics to the Lumberjack song.
>	Many thanks in advance
>		Haydyn.
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And me too please..Pretty please with sugar on top...It'll be an early
Hanukkah present...				Thanks.
							Claire
						(claire@chopin.udel.edu)



Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mhaitkin@scott.skidmore.edu (meredith haitkin)
Subject: Cheese?
Organization: Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs NY
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 21:13:17 GMT

Could whoever posted the cheese shop sketch post it again, I love
it... I know that I saw it a really long time ago... where did it go..
or better yet.. could the poster send it to me directly?
			Thanks.  Love, Meri
mhaitkin@skidmore.EDU
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Subject: Oral sex &Jester
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 15:53:04 GMT

>>>Gina aka I should know, he did me
>>Jester aka did not..you would not pay for a plane ticket....
>Gina aka I would've if I'd had 1) the time to fly to see you, my love,
>and 2) the money to pay for the ticket (you forgot to pay me again)
Jester aka pay you for sex?? since when????

what i object is automatically being treated like a love slave....
i mean all that oral sex and slapping of sweaty purlent bodies
is enuff to drive a man over the edge.........of orgasmic ectasy....
i mean.....when the sheen of gina`s massive breasts strikes my
eyes..it is like i hear the sounds of Chariots of Fire and
Carme Marina in the backgroud..my soul melts.....my clothes
explode off my body...and..well...you know the rest,....

Jester aka pardon my fantasy.......
-- 
Join the Omnipotent Overlords of the Omniverse today. Add to intelligent    	
political, environmental, and social discussions. Buck the growing trend of 
apathy in the world today, and most importantly have some well earned fun.  
Read all about us on alt.overlords or e-mail : jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu
From: daniel@teer24.acpub.duke.edu (Daniel Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: I'm sorry, I can't say the letter, "B."
Keywords: Bum....Oooohhh what a giveaway....
Date: 14 Dec 92 07:24:18 GMT
Organization: Megalomaniacs Anonymous

What a silly bunt!

T. Daniel Crawford
Center for Computational Quantum Chemistry
University of Georgia
Athens, GA 30602
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: olemo@dhhalden.no (OLE-MAGNUS OLSEN)
Subject: Re: I am not John Cleese.
Organization: Ostfold College
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 15:29:43 GMT

In article <Bz6qIy.IBv@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> formula4@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Formula 409) writes:

>I am most definitely not John Cleese, so you just wasted your time.

Oh shit! Fooled again!!!

=============================================================================
This has been a message from   M A G N U M   of the legendary Basement Brats!
E-mail:     olemo@sofus.dhhalden.no
Snail-mail: Ole M. Olsen, Hovsveien 130, N-1769 HALDEN, NORWAY
=============================================================================
From: mfc1493@tamsun.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: SPAM
Date: 18 Dec 1992 01:32:39 -0600
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station, TX
NNTP-Posting-Host: tamsun.tamu.edu

>>Yes, why is my brain shaped like an "I"?
>Coz you're an egomaniac, jim.
You're dead, jim.

And why was "Mike Palin died" tossed in the spam...I miss something?


>>Eric aka the brain contortionist 
>OSInmn the half-a-bee.
Ratboy aka I bid a quarter-a-bee
From: hnb5164@tamuts.tamu.edu (Heather Noel Bobbie)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: It's Christmas in Heaven
Date: 14 Dec 1992 02:11:33 GMT
Organization: ~/lib/organization
NNTP-Posting-Host: tamuts.tamu.edu

thank you so much for the special christmas greetings.

of course i won't be going to heaven but the sentiment was nice.

leather aka fa la la la <thud>
From: mfc1493@tamsun.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: a response to a mister not-john-cleese-but-formula409
Date: 19 Dec 1992 02:44:34 -0600
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station, TX
NNTP-Posting-Host: tamsun.tamu.edu

>> Someone say "cheese"?
>> This *is* a cheese shop, isn't it?
>It's the finest in all the newsgroups.

Oh...I must be in the wrong place...

>> Ratboy aka *sniff* Ack. Headcheese. Mybe we can use it for animation...
>Eric aka "Do you mind the bazuki playing?"
Ratboy aka It's kinda nice...like that PING! noise...what's a bazuki?







Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: s13989bc@UMASSD.EDU
Subject:  i Don't like Spam
Reply-To: s13989bc@UMASSD.EDU
Organization: UMASS DARTMOUTH, NO. DARTMOUTH, MA.
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 04:36:02 GMT

  Uhh, guys! I have a problem. I don't like Spam, but I DO 
like " potted processed meat food" (actually I saw this stuff in the market right next to the Spam. Imagine my shock:
              GENERIC SPAM!!!!!!! what will they think up next?
Well I'm off to the getting eaten by a crocodile contest. Ta Ta:-)
From: car-a@minster.york.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: traffic lights
Date: 17 Dec 92 14:13:35 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of York, England

I don't like traffic lights ONE BIT.  When I see them I avoid them
at all costs.  I especially don't like red ones.  I have noticed
that there are no red lights on the pavement and so when red lights
appear I drive there.



|*car-a@minster.york.ac.uk*************************BEEP(1,5)*|
From: goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Jester's Forgotten ME?
Date: 11 Dec 92 18:44:56 CST
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

In article <Bz2IEp.8J@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
>>goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
>>jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
>>>>>>>Jester aka who says I do not give credit where credit is due?
>>>>>>Gina aka I do; you STILL havent given me credit for what I did to
>>>>>>you...dont you remember...
>>>>>Jester aka and what exactly did you do to me???????
>>>>You really dont remember? what a shame...
>>>>The romantic dinner in the bathtub full of spam
>>>I hate spam...
>>since when?
> 
> since forever...
> 
>>>>the lemon curry for dessert
>>>I like lemon ice tho...
>>I like you tho...
> 
> then send me a picture..........
 
I tell you I mailed you one already, but since you don't have it yet,
I'll put one in a Christmas card to go in the mail December 14, ok?

>>>>and the next morning.....
>>>when i was gone..like a typical male...
>>And all this time I thought YOU were special; now you are claiming to
>>be typical. Such a let down; I want someone who is unique and
>>outstanding in EVERY way. I'll go cut out my liver now....
> 
> just typical in that way...and that i always fall asleep
> aftr sex.....

That's typical? I thought that was exhaustion due to overexposure to
the elements.

> 
>>>>Gina aka do you still have my, you know, _toys_ that you borrowed?
>>>Jester aka the barbi's?????
>>Gina aka as my heart lies dying on the floor when Jester flung it
> Jester aka I pick it up and kiss it better
Gina aka promise?
> -- 
> Join the Omnipotent Overlords of the Omniverse today. Add to intelligent    	
> political, environmental, and social discussions. Buck the growing trend of 
> apathy in the world today, and most importantly have some well earned fun.  
> Read all about us on alt.overlords or e-mail : jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu
From: mfc1493@tamsun.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Elections II
Date: 19 Dec 1992 02:27:20 -0600
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station, TX
NNTP-Posting-Host: tamsun.tamu.edu

>> So do we REALLY have to wait 4 years for the next elections?
>> I think we need a revolution...a coup...and armed unprising....a beer.
>> Ratboy aka Militant amongst you.
>
>Only ONE beer?

It's not the quantity...it's the size.
Quote from Gina, I believe...

>mac
rat





Xref: sparky alt.fan.monty-python:10024 alt.comedy.british:2760
From: mjackson@gssec.bt.co.uk (Mark Jackson)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python,alt.comedy.british
Subject: Re: Word Association Sketch
Date: 14 Dec 92 13:22:35 GMT
Organization: BT, Software Engineering Centre, Glasgow, Scotland

This, I think, is the definitive version, cobbled together from the various
posts over the past few weeks.

Of course, the best way would be to get John Cleese to do it, but he's just
gone to the toilet with the Oxford English Dictionary, so I think he'll be
quite a while. Here goes...


    "Tonight's the night I shall be talking about of flu the subject of word
association football.  This is a technique out a living much used in the
practice makes perfect of psychoanalysister and brother and one that has
occupied piper the majority rule of my attention squad by the right number one
two three four the last five years to the memory.

It is quite remarkable baker charlie how much the miller's son this so-called
while you were out word associ-asian immigrants' problems influences the manner
from heaven in which we sleekit cowering timrous beasties all-American Speke,
the famous explorer.

And the really well that is surprising partner in crime is that a lot and his
wife of the lion's feeding time we may be c d e effectively quite unaware of the
fact or fiction section of the Watford Public Library that we are even doing it
is a far, far better thing that I do now then, now then, what's going onward
Christian Barnard the famous hearty part of the lettuce now praise famous
mental homes for loonies like me.

So on the button, my contention causing all the headaches, is that unless we
take into account of Monte Cristo in our thinking George the Fifth this
phenomenon the other hand we shall not be able satisFact or Fiction section
of the Watford Public Library-againerly to understand to attention when I'm
talking to you and stop larking about human nature, man's psychological make-up
some story the wife'll believe and hence the very meaning of life itselfish
bastard, I'll kick him in the Balls Pond road."


Quick, somebody archive it.......

MARK-'of the devil' JACK-'and Jill went up the hill' SON-'ny and Cher'

P.S. I was going to add a list of some of the more obscure associations,
but I couldn't be bothered.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: dweldy@digirolamo.ecn.purdue.edu (Dennis E Weldy)
Subject: Re: I am John Cleese
Organization: Purdue University Engineering Computer Network
Date: 20 Dec 92 07:05:38 GMT

I am the second cousin of the man that brought the mail to
the veteranarian of the school teacher that taught a freind
of a man in the Monty-Python crew that John Cleese rebuffed
for suggesting that he use a joke relating a long series of
relationalities. He told the man that such a joke would be
thus so utterly boring that he would have to tell everyone
were it came from and there would be a cry of justice through-
out the world and he would have to kill him.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: mlandaue@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael C Landauer)
Subject: Re: i AM john cleese
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 07:10:30 GMT

croth@scott.skidmore.edu (catherine roth) writes:


>you silly fools.  how could you be so silly as to believe me?  why,
>i'm not even a man!

I didn't believe you because I'm John Cleese.

-- 
Mike Landauer
signature file
From: jwlr@escher.cc.rochester.edu (James Willer)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: a response to a mister not-john-cheese-but-formula409
Date: 21 Dec 92 00:37:29 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York

>>> Someone say "cheese"?
>>> This *is* a cheese shop, isn't it?
>>It's the finest in all the newsgroups.

>Oh...I must be in the wrong place...

Yes, this is abuse!

>>> Ratboy aka *sniff* Ack. Headcheese. Mybe we can use it for animation...
>>Eric aka "Do you mind the bazuki playing?"
>Ratboy aka It's kinda nice...like that PING! noise...what's a bazuki?
Same J octupud A bazuki is a BIG GUN. (stupid git!)
From: jos@and.nl (Jos Horsmeier)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: I'm sorry, I can't say the letter, "B."
Keywords: Bum....Oooohhh what a giveaway....
Date: 16 Dec 92 09:46:58 GMT
Organization: AND Software BV Rotterdam

In article <7937@news.duke.edu> daniel@teer24.acpub.duke.edu (Daniel Crawford) writes:

|What a silly bunt!

But can you fay the letter `K' then?

Jof aka Don't ftare at me like that!
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Thank you to all that sent scripts.
From: english@netlink.cts.com (Steven Foley)
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 92 15:28:59 PST
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

I would like to thank everyone that sent or posted scripts.  I enjoyed 
them and do have copies of them now.  Thanks.  Please dont send any 
more...I have plenty now that everyone sent one.

-Steve

--                    
INTERNET:  english@netlink.cts.com (Steven Foley)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!english
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
From: as010b@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (andrew david simchik)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: IMPORTANT--PLEASE READ!
Date: 14 Dec 92 03:35:23 GMT
Organization: University of Rochester - Rochester, New York


Sorry about the title, couldn't think of an adequate summary.

I'm a student at the University of Rochester, and a member of the
student-run Committee of the Performing Arts.  A subset of us are interested
in doing a sort of Monty Python cabaret, performing Pythonsongs and
Pythonsketches as a sort of variety show.  We have scripts and music, but
what we really need to know is this:

Who do we write in order to get permission to perform the songs and
sketches, and how long will this likely take, and how much will it cost us?

Information is needed as soon as possible.  Thank you very much for your
help.

Drewcifer

PS: please E-mail me if possible, as I don't read this group on a regular
basis.  My address is below my .sig.  Thanks!
-- 
***************************************************************************
** Andrew David Simchik, registered Scorpio ************* SCHNOPIA! *******
***************************************************************************
as010b@uhura.cc.rochester.edu
From: mfc1493@tamsun.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: WHAT??? WHere am I?
Date: 11 Dec 92 22:10:09 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station, TX
NNTP-Posting-Host: tamsun.tamu.edu

Just wanted to post to let all you Nutty Pyhtoners [TM] know that I am indeed
still alive.
And I am indeed still a Nutty Pythoner [TM] myself...

...FINALS SUCK!

Thank you.

And now the news for rats...


Ratboy aka didn't eat any of the delicious cheese - yum yum.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: ptaylor@airfarce.Canada.Sun.COM
Subject: Re: re; re; traffic lights
Reply-To: ptaylor@airfarce.Canada.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 03:34:46 GMT


In article 9EF@umassd.edu, s13989bc@UMASSD.EDU () writes:
>	traffic lights are fun if they are green. I always stop my car
>at intersection when there is a green light just to look at their
>pretty colour. For some reason, the people in the cars behind me
>don't like green as much as I. They always start saying naughty
>things to me ;-( I don't know why, can anyone explain this
>phenomenon to me?

Some people have no taste.  Others just don't taste good at all, even
when served with a white wine sauce (with shallots).  

Yum Yum.

>	 By the way, the green lights one sees when going off
>highway exits are especially nice.

yes, but I try to stay *on* highway exits so that I don't have to be
pulled out of ditches.  

PKT aka a font of good advice.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: damiene@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (Eccles)
Subject: Re: umm....dunno...
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 23:44:41 GMT

af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa M. Stanar) writes:


>In a previous article, mfc1493@tamsun.tamu.edu (Ratboy) says:

>>>	AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The final ingredient for my rat 
>>>tart flambe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>Sorry...I'm not FLAMBEable...(hissssssssss)
>>
>>But seriously, folks...
>>
>>Ratboy aka I'm much better in lupin sauce...just ask Lisa.
>Lisa aka my mother always taught me not to talk with my mouth full
Eccles aka Mine always told me not to talk with my throat cut.
From: mfc1493@tamsun.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: umm....dunno...
Date: 18 Dec 1992 00:27:58 -0600
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station, TX
NNTP-Posting-Host: tamsun.tamu.edu

>>>>	AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The final ingredient for my rat 
>>>>tart flambe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>Sorry...I'm not FLAMBEable...(hissssssssss)
>>>But seriously, folks...
>>>
>>>Ratboy aka I'm much better in lupin sauce...just ask Lisa.
>>Lisa aka my mother always taught me not to talk with my mouth full
>Eccles aka Mine always told me not to talk with my throat cut.
Ratboy aka Excuse me, Eccy. *pushes Eccles' sig aside*
   Umm...Lisa...what type of sauce to YOU prefer?










Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: s14109jo@UMASSD.EDU
Subject: Re: lumberjack song
Reply-To: s14109jo@UMASSD.EDU
Organization: UMASS DARTMOUTH, NO. DARTMOUTH, MA.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 16:09:20 GMT

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>And me too please..Pretty please with sugar on top...It'll be an early
>Hanukkah present...				Thanks.
>							Claire
>						(claire@chopin.udel.edu)
>
MUST BE JEWISH...
From: mfc1493@tamsun.tamu.edu (Ratboy)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Theme song
Date: 18 Dec 1992 00:53:07 -0600
Organization: Texas A&M University, College Station, TX
NNTP-Posting-Host: tamsun.tamu.edu

>The theme to MPFC is the Liberty Bell March, and it's not the national
>anthem of anywhere

Yes it is. I've been to Anywhere and they played it at the baseball game.
Or did I dream it?

Ratboy aka Zzzzzzzzzzzz--hmmm?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: schwarts@cps.msu.edu (Steven Eric Schwartz)
Subject: Re: Anyone have some scripts?
Originator: schwarts@atlantic.cps.msu.edu
Reply-To: schwarts@cps.msu.edu (Steven Eric Schwartz)
Organization: Dept. of Computer Science, Michigan State University
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 09:07:42 GMT

In article <DJOHNSON.92Dec9164710@chiltepe.gac.edu> djohnson@chiltepe.gac.edu (Daniel P Johnson) writes:
>In article <P3wFVB1w165w@netlink.cts.com> english@netlink.cts.com (Steven Foley) whines:
>
>.I know that I probably JUST missed the latest posting of the scripts of 
>.Monty Python movies, so I am sorry for posting this.  I got Holy Grail 
>.from rec.humor not too long ago, but I didnt get Life of Brian or Meaning 
>.of Life.  I dont have FTP access, but I was wondering if someone could 
>.email me with the scrip of Life of Brian and/or Meaning of Life, or post 
>.it if it hasnt been up in a while.  Thanks!
>.Im sorry for sounding stupid for missing the scripts.
>

I am new here and would love some MP scripts. Can anyone help?

-- 
Steven Eric Schwartz            "It's not safe out here. It's wonderous, with
(schwarts@cps.msu.edu)           treasures to satiate desires both subtle and
125 East Wilson Hall, MSU        gross.  But it's not for the timid."
East Lansing, Michigan  48825                           - Q, "Q Who"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: af714@yfn.ysu.edu (Lisa M. Stanar)
Subject: Re: Giant Mutant Cat Animated Skit
Organization: St. Elizabeth Hospital, Youngstown, OH
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 05:32:40 GMT


In a previous article, mfc1493@tamsun.tamu.edu (Ratboy) says:

>>	Could someone please post the "giant mutant cat" animation skit 
>>from the movie "AND NOW FOR SOMETHING REALLY DIFFERENT"?
>>
>>Dale Meier
>
>I'm still waiting for Lisa to show me "Candystriper and The Naught Bits".
>You promised.

*Lisa slips on her red and white uniform and opens her anatomy book....*

>Ratmeier aka Mazel tov!
Lisa aka now, *what* were you saying? *nudge nudge*
-- 
                  "But there are dreams that cannot be
                 and there are storms we cannot weather."
                 
                             Herber Kretzmer              
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: bibroere@sus.edu.eur.nl (hallo test)
Subject: video or laserdisk
Keywords: help wanted
Organization: EUR
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 13:39:35 GMT

Hello montyfans,

Who can help me to find laserdiscs (PAL) of Monty Python (Flying Circus).
I know that there were some titles, but I don't know if they still exist.

I also know that all the movies are available in the shops and that only the
second season is on video. But who can tell me if I can buy the other seasons
on tape (or laserdisc).

Many regards,

Lourens Broere
Wetering Oost 11a
2941 LD  LEKKERKERK
HOLLAND
From: olda@me.chalmers.se (Olof Daunius)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: traffic lights
Date: 18 Dec 92 11:42:13 GMT
Reply-To: olda@me.chalmers.se (Olof Daunius)

In article <724601615.9847@minster.york.ac.uk>, car-a@minster.york.ac.uk
writes:
> I don't like traffic lights ONE BIT.  When I see them I avoid them
> at all costs.  I especially don't like red ones.  I have noticed
> that there are no red lights on the pavement and so when red lights
> appear I drive there.

Good thinking. A word of advice though:

Beware of the vicious 'Keep left' signs.

> |*car-a@minster.york.ac.uk*************************BEEP(1,5)*|

 Olof Daunius: olda@tfd.chalmers.se
rtn
<RTN>
X
x
q

. <RTN>
help
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python