From: diana@wetware.com (CatWoman )
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Various ramblings...
Date: 26 Aug 92 15:02:21 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare MouseCatcher

dy@depsych.Gwinnett.COM (Dr. Yes) writes:

] fredw@mks.com (Fred Walter) writes:
] 
] > kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
] > >Yes, clearly.  So the question is: how do you do things intelligently
] > >without appearing to be intelligent?
] > 
] > Be quiet about it. Don't be showy about it. Don't talk about how hard
] > something was - people who know about it will know how hard it was, and
] > people who don't know about it will just think you're bragging.
] > 
] > Don't talk about technical stuff around people you know are *not* technical.
] > A lot of them would feel stupid and think you were a show off.
] 
] I may be wrong on this but my take is that visible intelligence
] has become socially acceptable.  If you look at movies and sitcoms
] from the 50s it was apparently necessary for intelligent males to
] look like one of the guys.  Intelligent females were supposed to
] hide their brains.  {rest deleted}

I think that what Fred is saying is essentially what you are
also saying here - the difference is that what Fred is saying
is that while you don't want to act stupid about things now
(Gee - poor little me could NEVER understand what goes on 
under that Great, Big Hood - it takes a MAN to do things like
THAT...gack) - you also don't want to cram your knowlege
down others throats.  

Two incidents come to mind here - a couple of days ago I
was in a Sporting Goods store, looking at shoes, and the
sales folks were helping a father and son looking for
hiking boots.  They were trying to sell the man hiking
SHOES.  The boy was no more than 13, and I know that joints
and bones are still growing at that age, so I quietly asked
the man if it was HIKING, or BACKPACKING that the boy would
be doing.  And then recommended that for backpacking he 
should get boots with ankle support.  It was a topic I have
some knowledge of, so although I was reluctant to get in 
the middle, I thought I could help.  I HOPE I didn't come
across as a smart-alec know-it-all.

The other incident was a recent gathering where there was
one person who - no matter WHAT was talked about - knew
better than everyone else, AND let them know that he knew
more than they did.  Even to the point of where there were
reasonable options on the topic, he was CERTAIN his way 
was the best.  The first instance was informative, the
second was a bit irritating - by the end of the gathering,
it was enough to make you stop saying anything because 
you KNEW you'd get contradicted.

So the idea is that you gauge your audience, and talk at
the level they understand (you can tell this by watching
if their eyes are glazing over, they're getting restless,
watching for ANY excuse to go somewhere else, etc.)

Kevin - I'd STRONGLY suggest you find a local race-course.
Your knowlege of cars is impressive, and even if you 
can't race right now, you CAN be part of the scene.  You
could even find someone who DOES have a race car and 
offer to be part of the pit-crew.  And guaranteed, any
women you meet there are going to be interested in the
cars also - and you'll have a ready-made topic of
conversation.`

Diana