From: cortese@skid.ps.uci.edu (Janis Maria Cortese)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: men crossing the street at night to avo
Date: 6 Jan 1993 00:02:49 GMT
Organization: University of California, Irvine
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: remarque.berkeley.edu
Originator: muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu

In article <1id49bINNbo9@agate.berkeley.edu> andyw@meaddata.com writes:
>In article 1i5etpINNgmd@agate.berkeley.edu, gds@FICUS.CS.UCLA.EDU (Greg Skinner) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec31.220108.22376@informix.com> Robert Hartman writes:
>>>Well, insofar as it is customary for men to avoid frightening each
>>>other when out and about at night--unless they're looking for
>>>trouble--this helps other men spot the loonies and take evasive or
>>>defensive action in plenty of time.  So while it doesn't completely
>>>eliminate the risk, I think it helps.
>>
>>It has never been my experience that men cross the street, or for that
>>matter, move away, when they are approaching each other late at night.
>>In situations where I felt threatened, I moved away or crossed the
>>street.
>
>I'd have to agree with Greg here... I've never heard of someone crossing
>the street so as not to intimidate someone else... I have only heard of it
>in response to being intimidated.
>
>Seems kind of silly to me... if I were a woman and a man crossed the street 
>to obviously avoid me, I'd probably either confused or insulted.  And if I

I'm not interested on metting friends for life when I'm walking to a bus
stop; I am just going goggle-eyed trying to keep tabs on people to make
sure that they won't sneak up on me and try to assault me.  I can handle
the (nonexistent) social rejection implied, and frankly wouldn't give a
damn.  

Besides, "if I were a woman?"  Sorry.  

>were a black woman, I'd probably assume that it was someone who was 
>stereotypically afraid of a black face.

I'd breathe a sigh of relief that they weren't out for me.  Again, I
really don't give a damn about having people walk on the other side of
the street from me when I have to get to a bus stop or parking lot.  I
can assure you that I am not going to go into spasms of depression and
sniff my armpits if a man walks on the other side of the street or just
tries to avoid me very late at night.  The most prominent emotion I will
feel is relief.  I'm far too busy protecting myself and growing eyes
out the back of my head to worry about making friends. 

>It is an interesting subject, what do most women feel is appropriate 
>behavior... turning your head and ignoring a person is pretty cold and
>rude, crossing the street seems insulting, and obviously, saying "yo mamma, 
>lookin fine tonight" is not appropriate either.  

Hopefully, you are capable of more than just these two simple emotions
when you are meeting a woman.  Either let the door slam in her face or
drool on her shoulder?  Not much room for emotional expression, is
there?

Again, I really do not care about meeting people and striking up
conversations with total strangers when I am walking to a bus stop; I AM
JUST TRYING TO GET THERE WITHOUT GETTING ASSAULTED. 

>I typically either nod my head in greeting, or say "good evening" or
>something like that.  

Then, evidently you ARE capable of something in between total rudeness
and drooling testosterone-spurting.  Why do you assume that crossing
the street when walking past a woman late at night is rude?  You aren't
being introduced to me at a party, or bumping into me at work and
spilling my coffee.  Walking around late at night for women is a time 
to be afraid, not strike up new social avenues and meet people.  

Hopefully, human behavior is able to adapt to the situation at hand;
that is what is so remarkable about H. sapiens.  What is rude when you
meet someone at work, indoors, with all the lights on, is not
necessarily rude when a woman is walking across a parking lot and
looking in all directions to make sure she isn't going to get killed.
Evaluate the situation, and act appropriately.  The world isn't
constrained by an "ignore her/drool on her" bipolarity. 

Regards,
Janis C.  


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