From: marlowe@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu (Amanda T Marlowe)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: Re: AMC: When she says "no" . . .
Date: 28 Jan 1993 15:08:02 -0500
Organization: Homewood Academic Computing, Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, Md, USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu

In article <9301272125.AA05258@deepthought.cs.utexas.edu> IRPROB@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu writes:
>
>Am I the only one concerned with the Gloria/Adam storyline and its
>implications?  How many times in yesterday's show did Adam suggest that he
>and Gloria get together?  How many times did she vehemently say "NO!"?

NONONO, you are NOT the only one... this drives me CRAZY... it drove me
crazy when Dimitri did it to Erica, and it drives me crazy now that
Adam is doing it to Gloria. 

>And how many times did he say she'd eventually cave in to his demands?  How
>are his statements and demands any different from Will's?  Does it make it
>any better that we "know" she really wants him, too?  I mean, I thought "no
>means no" - should that be "no means no, unless you know she *really* wants
>to"?  For this reason, I'd really rather they drop the Adam/Gloria
>storyline.  I doubt they'd have her be a rape victim again, and I'd really
>rather they not encourage the "no means yes" mentality.

From my own experience, "No" means nothing at all to a good number of men.
Perhaps "no" followed by "And if you don't get out NOW I'll call the police"
with one hand on the phone and the other on the 9 button, or "No" followed
by a good kick where it would hurt most MIGHT get the point across to these
guys I knew, but I'm not so sure. Unfortunately I never had the guts to try
it....

I want Gloria to stand out against Adam. I was in a VERY similar situation
at one point: He was attractive, and he was pushy, and he didn't take
NO for an answer. I caved in, and it was with out a doubt the worst
decsion of my life. Would that be called "date rape"? I don't know...
"Technically" I said "yes" in the end, but I never wanted to. It was
just much easier (I thought) than to keep fighting him...

And the guy involved would probably be completely flabergasted to find
out I feel this way about him...

>
>It seems that on the one hand, we're telling people that the woman has the
>ultimate veto power, yet in "entertainment", we're told that often when the
>woman says no, she really means maybe or yes.  And half of us *want* Adam
>and Gloria to "get together".  I didn't (save her for Tad after he and Dixie
>are through), and I especially don't want Adam and Gloria together after
>yesterday's scenes.

Yes, the "entertainment" does foster ideas like this. My husband took to
forcing my head back so he could kiss me. I told him I didn't like that,
it made me tense and nervous. Being the sweetie he is, he stopped immediately,
but said he started doing it because he had seen it done in several movies
where the women seemed to think it was "romantic." Well, he now knows
*I* find it threatening, not romantic, and has stopped. Was I "overreacting"?
<I don't think so, but I'd be interested if others do :} >

>
>Rob. Taylor


And Rob, Yes I do know not all men are jerks :) Most of the men I've met
recently haven't been. But unfortunately a lot are. And most of them
don't know they are, or that what they do could be considered offensive,
or illegal, or whatever, because they just don't really think about it
at all. This is the saddest thing about this whole topic. This is the
thing that needs to be changed, and discussions like this one help
do that....

Off the soapbox now...

Amanda
-- 
**** Amanda Marlowe		"Son, Son, I admire your sincerity. Always be
     marlowe@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu   sincere whether you mean it or not." 
****                               -The Reluctant Cannibal, by Flanders&Swann
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