From: cooper@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (Ralph 'Hairy' Moonen)
Subject: Alarm clocks & Guns 'n Roses
Organization: AT&T
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 13:46:24 GMT

In article <29618@castle.ed.ac.uk>, fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
> >I am a night person.  I do not enjoy mornings, and can
> >quite easily disable all three alarm clocks and never notice. 

So what's this gotta do with guns 'n roses I hear you ask. Well, lemme 
explain. First thing, I have that problem too, I just don't even notice
it when I switch off the alarm clock. This causes me to be late at work
*every* day. Luckily I've adjusted my schedule to this irritant little trait
of mine. 

ObPeeve: Guns 'n Roses. Need I say more? OK, ok, I'll elaborate. Apart
	 from the fact that these gibbering defectant-gene-infested
	 sad excuses for a life-form proclaim to produce something
	 they actually dare to call 'music', they are conspiracy. 
	 Yes, a conspiracy by the governement to take away all our
	 nice young girls. You see, they have hired a team of brilliant
	 mind-control scientists to influence our young girls to go
	 around wearing skull-toting pieces of fabric wrapped around
	 their head to obscure the nice hair that lies beneath. While
	 in the process of this walking around, they also have been 
	 brain-washed to cry out obscene things like 'I want to lose
	 my virginity to Axl Rose' (BTW: Axl Rose is of course an 
	 anagram of 'Oral Sex'). No I'm not jealous, just peeved.
	 The sad thing is they also bought mega-time on MTV to 
	 propagate this brain-washing scheme, and I even know some 
	 boys who have fallen for this obvious attempt to control the
	 world. I say BOYCOT GNR! And to top it off, they should be
	 banned from all performances, MTV, 7-11, music stores and
	 every radio station, they should also be sentenced to 
	 mandatory PC-hair-do courses. All girls should be required
	 to hand in their GNR CD's and Albums to their local 
	 psychotherapists, and shouls undergo exstensive re-socialisation.

OBantiPeeve: Yes, I bought a GNR CD. Now don't flame me, because it had
	     two distinct advantages.: When hooked up to my stereo-timer,
	     it was loud enough to actually wake me up. I know Metallica
	     would have better but the second advantage of GNR is that
	     it is *SO* awful that I just have to get out of bed to
	     put it off. This worked fine until I started waking up in 
	     my own puke, caused by the fact that my unconscious mind
	     wanted to object to the 'music'. Not surprisingly, I stopped
	     that practice when my girlfriend started complaining about
	     having to refresh the sheets every day. I now have *the*
	     perfect solution to my alarm clock problem, although it won't
	     be a long lasting solution. I just moved to a new place, and 
	     now livenext door to a big supermarket that starts unloading 
	     their  good at 07:30 in the morning. I can't get away from that,
	     so I just get up. I will of course get used to it, so this 
	     might not work for a long time. Oh, and the GNR album I
	     sent to the museum for later display as evidence that our
	     society has nearly come to end. In 200 years, they'll
	     all be looking at the CD and saying "How did it come so far...

--Ralph