From: ALI00BAW@UNCCVM.UNCC.EDU
Subject: Re: Male Men Bashers
Organization: UNC Charlotte
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 16:35:03 GMT

In article <1993Jan21.154913.15976@aston.ac.uk>
evansmp@uhura.aston.ac.uk (Mark Evans) writes:
 
>
>Eric Pepke (pepke@dirac.scri.fsu.edu) wrote:
>: Check followups.
>:
>: In article <1993Jan17.014306.7372@adobe.com> kendall@adobe.com (Janice Kendall) writes:
>: >OK.  Let's define what "nice, sensitive guy" means...
>: >
>: >I am a woman and I wanted a "nice, sensitive guy".  I've dated self-centered
>: >jerks and as I matured and came to care more about my own "quality of life"
>: >(yep - it's, arghhh, SELF-ESTEEM!), I quit seeing the self-centered jerks
>: >as better-than-me-and-therefore-desirable, and saw them as self-centered
>: >jerks not worth wasting my time on.
>:
>: Thanks for saying this.  It is consistent with my experience.
>:
>: The reason I set the followups the way I did is that I want to talk about
>: the message that men get.  The message is this:
>:
>: 1) If you're a self-centered jerk, you'll get plenty of dates.
>: 2) It you're a nice, sensitive guy, you may at some time acquire a long-term
>:    partner who may or may not stop dating self-centered jerks.  In the mean
>:    time, you might as well watch Popeye cartoons to see what your forearms
>:    are going to look like.
>An assumption here that everone wants a long term partner..
>:
>: This is generally called the "nice guy syndrome."
>:
>: -EMP
>
>--
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Mark Evans                                   |evansmp@uhura.aston.ac.uk
>+(44) 21 429 9199  (Home)                    |evansmp@cs.aston.ac.uk
>+(44) 21 359 6531 x4039 (Office)             |
 
The Popeye reference is good.  Look at the pattern in many, if not most,
of the Popeye shorts: Olive dumps P. for Bluto, not realizing that under-
neath his outward charms he's a rotter; when she DOES realize what a bad
lot he is she screams for P., who gets soundly thrashed before he eats his
spinach.
 
There was a drawing I saw in the New Yorker[?]: a woman says to her date,
 "Roger, you're so sensitive, considerate, gentle and kind; too bad you're
such a wimp."
 
I remember in High School and College guys like me, who were taught to treat
young ladies as though they were Countesses at least, couldn't get the time
of day, while the football players whose thumbs were scarcely opposable had
HAREMS.  I'm 33 now and my self-confidence around women is still at a very
low ebb because of painful experiences of that sort; I'm not the only one, I
know.
 
Ladies, be honest about what you want.  Don't SAY you want one kind of man
and then GO WITH another.  If you don't like Neandertals, the next time one
comes on to you, send him off 'with a flea in his ear;' if you like gentle-
men, remember that Queen Elizabeth walked on Sir Walter's COAT, not on Sir
Walter!  Just because I'm too much the gentleman to dot you one doesn't give
you the right to treat me like something the cat dragged in.
 
 
 
Another Rust-Belt Yankee Exile in Charlotte!
 
Any opinions expressed are mine, not those of the Atkins Library.
 
Bruce Alan Wilson ali00baw@unccvm.uncc.edu
Newsgroups: soc.men