From: Jeremy_Reimer@mindlink.bc.ca (Jeremy Reimer)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Please Help (because he really needs some)
Date: 9 Oct 92 08:30:30 GMT
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada
Distribution: world

> Kingsley Morse writes:
>
> Msg-ID: <16150001@hpwrce.mayfield.hp.com>
> Posted: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 23:49:36
>
> Org.  : HP Western Response Center
>
>               Please answer these 9 questions and return.
>
> 1.) Do you think equal rights for men and women is generally a good idea?
> Yes                  [ ]
> Sometimes            [ ]
> No                   [ ]
> Haven't heard enough [ ]
> Other                [X]


I believe any distribution of rights is probably acceptable as long as I
receive more rights than anyone else.

>
> 2.) Are you pro choice?
> Yes                  [ ]
> Sometimes            [ ]
> No                   [ ]
> Haven't heard enough [ ]
> Other                [X]


I'm for retroactive abortion, to apply to all Fundamentalists.

>
> 3.) Are you in favor of adoption?
> Yes                  [ ]
> Sometimes            [ ]
> No                   [ ]
> Haven't heard enough [ ]
> Other                [X]


Any adoption of a new lifestyle is going to be difficult.  For example, to
change from a "Subgenius" to a "Productive Member of a Happy, Healthy
Economy"(tm) will likely involve cutting your head off.  Or, more
productively, cutting someone else's head off.  Adopting a pet, a small rug
or a strikingly-beautiful woman in her mid-thirties may be somewhat easier.

>
> 4.) Do you think men should be allowed to legally terminate their parental
> rights and responsibilities before fetal viability?
> Yes                  [ ]
> Sometimes            [ ]
> No                   [ ]
> Haven't heard enough [ ]
> Other                [X]


I think men should be allowed to legally terminate their parents, their
rights, their responsibilities, and anything or anyone else who gives them a
hard time.

>
> 5.) What sex are you?
> Male               [X]
> Female             [ ]


What?  No "Other"?  I'm truly disappointed.

>
> 6.) How old are you?
> Under 18           [ ]
> 19 to 65           [X]  <- wow, there's a precise demographic!
> Over 65            [ ]


You bleeding ageist!  Such discrimination will not be allowed.

>
> 7.) What religion are you?
> Protestant         [ ]
> Catholic           [ ]
> Jewish             [ ]
> Other              [X]


Well, I was a converted Gimmesomemoneynowist, but then I saw the true error
of my ways and adopted Reimerism, the One True Religion, we worship not BoB
nor SPAM, nor the Holy Caspar the Friendly Ghost, but in fact a Giant Spoon.
Reimerism states "Thou Shalt Basically Stop Messing Around In Other People's
Business And Generally Bum Around And Have A Good Time".


>
> 8.) What political party are you affiliated with?
> Democratic         [ ]
> Republican         [ ]
> Other              [X]


Well, I used to do paid volunteer work for the Standing In The Back Dressed
Stupidly And Looking Stupid Party, but having acquired a dress sense over
many years I now support vigorously the Politicians Have No Real Power Party.


>
> 9.) How many years of education have you completed?
> Grade School       [ ]
> High School        [ ]
> College            [ ]
> More               [X]  (what, no (y/n) prompt?)


More than I ever wanted.


--
Jeremy_Reimer@ |"It turned out, as N-Man discovered later, that the black
mindlink.bc.ca | boat hadn't been after him at all.  It was full of riotous,
---------------| unemployed former James Bond villains enraged at the fall
aka THE JAGUAR!| of Communism in the Soviet Union."
---------------|
Stealth Sig#69 |  --From "N-Man #3: N-Man on Holiday"

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