From: gac@orion (G. Andy Cordonier)
Subject: Re: American joke (oxymoron)
Organization: Shell Development Co., Bellaire Research Center, Houston TX
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 92 15:28:40 GMT

I've been waiting for Mike Fester to handle this one, but since he's doesn't
seem to be around:

In article <1992Aug31.145217.202595@uctvax.uct.ac.za> rybicki@uctvax.uct.ac.za writes:
>So, chaps - enough of the Polish jokes already!  8-|
>
>Here a sampling of some American jokes (from one who has lived there, milked
wombats?  You weren't in the U.S., you were in Australia.  That explains
a lot...
>
>- their political system: who else would totally paralyse their decision-making
>	bodies for AT LEAST a quarter of the term of each President?

You got it backwards, election year is when the president signs all 
the education, environmental, and social appropriations bills.  The other
three years are restricted to military buildup and international meddling.
>
>- their TV: old-fashioned in technology, lousy in definition, and APALLING
>	in terms of programming (though the Simpsons and the Sinclairs have
>	their moments...second thoughts, ALL programming).
>
I'd think American TV would make a South African homesick:  mediocrity
punctuated by violence and propaganda.

>- their houses: big bad Andrew went huff, and puff, and all the houses fell
>	down...try bricks next time, guys!

Thanks! Good advice!  I guess we need brick cars, trees, and boats, too.
>
>- their education system: you have to teach your kids to read at home, so they
>	can go to school to play!

So that's what you were doing in the U.S.!  Hope you had fun!
>
>- their cars: only good ones are designed in Japan or Europe,
>	then assembled (badly) in the US.

Not true!  I crushed a Honda, two Toyotas, and Mercedes with my (unscathed)
Chevy Suburban on the way to work this morning.
>
>- their culture: seriously, a nation that treats large men who are intimately
>	acquainted with sweat and blood as well as the Yanks do, could give
>	ancient Rome some pointers.

Yeah, those acquainted with sweat and blood don't fair so well in South
Africa, but, heh, it's still sport, eh?
>
>- their sense of sportsmanship: the "Dream Team" - a dream of amateurism?
>	Of fair play?  Of humility?  Or of more money....?

Wisdom from the home of "fair play".
>
>- their beer: much as British beer was once described as warm urine with
>	bubbles, so US beer could be described as cold urine with bubbles

I guess the British beer is fresher.
>
>- their food: best take-out in the world - if you like take-out....  Most
>	popular food in the US: Italian and Mexican and Chinese.  Tells

Hey, I know that place:  Guido's Cantonese Taqueria.  You should try their 
Ptomaine Noodles with Queso de Salmonella, soon!
>
>|  Ed Rybicki                     |    Now you've got the hang of it      |

ObTruth: No matter what other nations may say about the United States,
immigration is still the sincerest form of flattery.



-- 
Andy Cordonier  \ Any resemblence between my opinions and those of my
(gac@shell.com) \ employer is purely coincidental (or is it fate?).
                             \  "Any sufficiently advanced bullsh*t 
                              \  is indistinguishable from fact."
Newsgroups: rec.humor