From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Just One Jammie-jar
Keywords: Sticky, end
Date: 14 Apr 92 20:13:32 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

Convincing me that Edinburgh does sustain life, (B A Page) writes:
>Boys' underwear is SAID to be meant to prevent chafing.  It's really
>meant to prevent nasty accidents involving irate girlfriends and zips.  

I've worn button-fly jeans for ... 12 years?  Actually, if you said
they were meant to act as a first line of defense against splitting
the seams in your jeans the morning after the Beer, Bean, and Broccoli
Fest, I couldn't have argued.

>Girls' underwear is SAID to be meant to prevent chafing.  It's really 
>designed to catch all the drips.  

I thought they were just meant to show nice triangular impressions on
the backside of skirts.  That, and as a deterent to brushing your
teeth when you wander in and find a wad of them soaking in the sink.

Peeve: Women who have less underwear than any other article of
clothing and "didn't want to do a full load of wash just for
underwear" leading to the above situation.

>As I am sure you are both aware,
>you're just being coy.

And of course, for men and women, it's fun to snap entertainingly when
bored.

>I can't think of anything more perfectly designed to produce a barf at
>the climactic moment actually.  Tell me Andy, are you accustomed to
>using vomit as a sexual lubricant?

Accustomed to?  No.  Averse to?  Probably not.  But it does remind me
of a little story ... here we are:

	"Decisions decisions...

	Say that you and a sweetie are hanging out in the tub, and
	have gotten hot and sweaty, but are averse to performing
	Swedish XXX in front of others.  You go in, but find people
	in the sauna, and the undressing room, and the lounge, and
	so seek out the privacy of the restroom.  She sits herself
	down on the throne, spreads her legs, and you indulge in
	some bush duty.  You noticed that it was that time of month,
	but didn't mind that.  Suddenly, however, you find that you've
	sucked her tampon into your mouth!  Miss Manners never told
	you what to do in such a situation, so you ponder the possibilities.
	Gentle readers, just what would you do, especially if this blood-
	bloated visitor from another world in your mouth put your already
	overstrained digestive system over the edge and into reverse?
	We're always told not to flush those period-plugs, so the porcelain
	altar is out, this time.  The "un-sanitary napkin disposal container"
	would overflow.  Suppose that the trashcan was missing?  Would you
	have any choice but to return it to its original location, along
	with some extra lubricant of your own?	What a special experience
	to share and enjoy!
	
	-mr. chunkhead"

>All Jenni needs to cure her of this strange obsession is a night in an
>Edinburgh pub.  

I guess I'm into quoting people today:

"There's nothing wrong with her that a smack across the chops and a
good dickin' wouldn't take care of."  - Geoff Miller

>Of course, Andy, you are glossing over the fact that some of us don't
>swallow.  We bite.  Hard.

So biting and swallowing are mutually exclusive?  Or are we to believe
tales of your exploits and understand that you don't swallow anything
not derived of malted hops?

andy
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The good thing about meeting two Microsoft executives while naked is
you can shake both their hands at once."   -- Scott Griffith
Newsgroups: alt.peeves