HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: lindercs@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU (Galadin (Craig Linderoth))
Subject: A new wizard.
Reply-To: lindercs@HYDRA.ROSE-HULMAN.EDU
Organization: Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 15:46:03 GMT

	Galadin is enjoying his Jambalaya when he senses the presence of some
great magic entering the bar.  Curious, Galadin gets up and walks over to the
doors back into the bar.  Opening the door, he sees a new person walk into the
bar.  Galadin kinda smiles at himself when he sees the attire of this new
person.  He likes a person who appreciates fine clothes and staffs, but the hat
is a bit overdone.  He then watches as the figure introduces himself.  Ah, The
Wizard, I would guess that he is fairly well versed in the magic.  
	Galadin then watches the Wizard set down the crystal ball and leave his
challenge.  This has really gotten Galadin curious.  He walks over to the ball
and looks into it.  He then starts whispering all of the schools of magic that
he can think of.  "Sorcerer, no don't think so,  Conjurer, well, except for
the ball I didn't see him conjure anything, Theurgist, doesn't look the type,
Illusionist," Galadin taps the ball, "no seems real to me, hmmm, Divinationist,
that is what we need, someone to see the future, and the crystal ball is their
item of choice, but I don't think so, an Evoker, well, didn't see him control
any energies but who knows.  Boy, this may take some work, wish he left a
little more clues to work with."
	With this Galadin goes back out to the meadow, but this challenge is
still in the back of his mind.


******************************************************************************
*Craig Linderoth                * Reality is for People who Lack Imagination.*
*Lindercs@Rosevc.rose-hulman.edu*   The Callahanian Protector of People from *
*ChemEng, Rose-Hulman           *    Outrageous Pun Throwers    SPLAT :)     *
******************************************************************************           
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: An Introduction
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 09:55:34 GMT

In article <1992Apr11.083559.8731@midway.uchicago.edu>, mss2@quads.uchicago.edu (Michael S. Schiffer) writes:
>If you still need a historian for the
>Asimov expedition, I can try to fill the bill, as history is what I
>got my BA in and is one of my primary interests.

Stm replies, "I don't recall mentioning a need for an historian, but that's
definitely in order.  Do you know enough about Asimov as well?  I suspect that
what we'll find in the mausoleum are wings associated with the multifarious
(never thought I'd get to use that word) aspects of Asimov, and, as organizer
of the expedition, I'd sort of been planning to break up the party once we
entered the mausoleum, and have each of the specialists report back with their
discoveries in an appropriate wing.

>I'm afraid I'm currently studying to be a lawyer."  Michael looks around nervously,
>uncomfortably aware that recent popularity polls placed lawyers
>somewhere between plague bacilli and members of Congress.

No offense intended, but just to prepare your for your intended career, here
are a few questions (your're eventually going to hear them in RL; it's better
if you already know tha answers):
	1)  What's 12 inches long and hangs from an asshole?
	2)  If you see a roadkill, how do you tell whether it's a skunk or a
	    lawyer?
	3)  Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
	4)  Why is there more of a fuss in heaven when an attorney arrives than
	    when a saint does?
	5)  Why is there a movement to replace laboratory rats with lawyers?
From: erikred@ocf.berkeley.edu (Erik Nielsen)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: RHPS
Date: 7 Apr 1992 05:38:50 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley Open Computing Facility
NNTP-Posting-Host: ocf.berkeley.edu

In article <204443@unix.cis.pitt.edu> seawasp+@pitt.edu (Ryk E Spoor) writes:
>	"I have NEVER understood that Rocky Horror phenomenon.

The giant rolls his eyes towards the skies and mutters softly, "Why does
this not surprise me?"

>but the "experience" is akin to being in a food fight with a roomful of
>five year olds.

"On the contrary, dear sir; how many five year-olds have the incredibly
vernacular vocabulary that gets bantered around the RHPS?  As to the
foodfight part, you obviously forgot to bring your newspaper."

>And the movie, though tolerable when NOT in a theatre
>surrounded by bizarrely behaving fanatics, isn't as good as my favorite
>'cult' film, Big Trouble in Little China. But you know what Jack Burton
>always says..."

"Apples and oranges.  BTiLC was virtually made for home viewing, whether by
one's self or with one's mates.  The RHPS was designed for audience
participation.  It's not a hell of a lot of fun watching Rocky on the VCR
when one knows one will have to clean up all the rice and toast off the
floor afterward.

"Rocky is a chance for people to go out, dress up completely different from
their usual dress, and let themselves go wild.  Social taboos on sex and
foul language go out the door in a wild frenzy of sadistic (and, yes,
masochistic) glee.

"Rocky makes no apologies for itself, and the fans are no different.  If you
don't like it, tough, don't come again.  If you want to let your hair down,
however, this is indeed the place to do it."

So saying, the giant whips off his trenchcoat, revealing a wheelchair and
fishnet stockings.  "Ve've got to get... [the fuck!]... out uv here!"

>Sea Wasp docked, Outring Sector 5.

[Roll-call!]

"Janet!"	"Brad!"		|	"Janet!"        "Brad!"
"Janet!"	"Doctor Scott!"	|	"Janet!"        "Doctor Scott!"
"Rocky!"	"Hunh!"		|	"Rocky!"        "Hunh!"

			"Janet!"        "Brad!"
			"Janet!"        "Doctor Scott!"
			"Rocky!"        "Hunh!"
[General Applause.]

Erik, the BFG

	When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy,
	You knew he was a no-good kid.
	But when he threatened your life
	With a [BALL-POINT PEN!!] switch-blade knife;

	What a guy!  Whoah-oh-oooooh...
	Makes you cry!  Hey-ay-ayyyyy...
	Und... I... did...  [What the Hell's an "und"?]
	Ed-die...

-- 
     "All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
			Roy, _Blade Runner_
Erik Nielsen					erikred@ocf.berkeley.edu
From: ml5a+@andrew.cmu.edu (Mark Beirne Lively)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: More Rhetoric.
Date: 6 Apr 92 16:05:29 GMT
 <1992Apr5.152150.7254@waikato.ac.nz> <204420@unix.cis.pitt.edu><1992Apr6.045000.7255@waikato.ac.nz>
Organization: Freshman, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

>  "If people want to band together to build a society, or keep their
>culture separate, they can pool their resource shares and set themselves up
>in their own little 'nation' (or 'country' or 'state' or whatever). If they
>aren't using more than their cumulative share they are entitled to do this.
>That way if a group of people want to be ruled by a dictator, or practise
>polygamy or whatever, they can leave the dominant society and set up on
>their own."

	This may just be becasue I am an American but something about this bugs
me a bit.  See about 120 years ago we had the bloodiest catastrophe this
country has ever experienced over just such an idea.  The US Civil War
or the War Between the States as its called in other parts of this
nation was about that principle.  It was about the right for whole
groups to break off.  I have no problems with personal liberty but you
cannot have a society break apart.  Time and time again history has
shown that separatism is detrimental.  I support a less restrictive
society but one that is whole and unified.  No matter what group I
decide to put my self in I am a human first last and always.

Note: from message <1992Apr6.052107.7256@waikato.ac.nz> from now on
>these things. Maybe I've misinterpretted you on that point, otherwise you
>seem to understand the system pretty well. Come to that you understand it
>remarkably well for someone who's only heard a sketchy outline.

Thank you.  I do think i understand it.  I just see that a large number
of people will start to move into more meaningless and less productive
jobs which i think should really be eliminated.  I already see this
trend already but there is no easy way to get people out of sales,
marketing, accounting, organizational work, etc. and into design and
production.  i think that your system is admirable and could work but it
strikes me as a pipe dream(no offense intended)  that could work and
whould work but won't because of implentation problems and Major foot
dragging.  You may also suffer some of the motivational problems
associated with Communism/socialism.

Yes now to that bonfire.(of the vanities?)

"Mankind has a exactly one right.  The right to die.  Not die when they
 want to just to die.  All else is privilege or responsibility."
Bear aka the Lord High Rulebender aka (ml5a@andrew.cmu.edu)
From: lynne@statler.tamu.edu (Meredith Lynne)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Calling Ariel and Mathex!!!
Date: 10 Apr 92 05:57:16 GMT
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Organization: Independent Paranoiac

Meredith, now 21 and completely street-legal, pops in
for just a moment to look for some old friends.  
Her eyes widen as just about everybody starts waving,
and she grins.  "Specific old friends," she says.

"I used to converse pretty regularly with Ariel and
Mathex...Remember Cyberia?  Has anybody freed it yet?...
Anyway, somewhere along the line he had difficulty with
his access and I lost touch with him.  Is anybody here
still in contact, and if so, could you get me a SnailMail
address or a phone number?  I miss the silly CyberConsul...

"Thanks, all!  You might also note that the address I gave you
for me as lynne@mace is also invalid now.  lynne@statler is the
only sure way to get in touch with me...

"Enjoy life, grin alot, and that sort of thing!

Love,
Meredith
lynne@statler.tamu.edu

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jpalmer@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (John D Palmer)
Subject: Re: More Rhetoric
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1992 21:33:15 GMT

In article <1992Apr9.045245.24189@cco.caltech.edu> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:
>In article <atterlep.702524824@vela>, atterlep@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Montgomery J. Moose) writes:
>>
>>  Francis, preparing to picnic, says,
>>
>>  "Harry Harrison had the best solution to the problem of money--eliminate 
>>interest.  Money is kept basically the same, but is used mainly in its original
>>function as a barter-equivalent.  People buy and sell as before, but they must
>>do _something_ that someone considers important in order to continue life at
>>their standard of living.  They can no longer make money simply by having it,
>>which would take care of many of the inheritance issues.
>>  "What do you think?"
>

    Hmmm.  I don't think interest is the problem. . . I think one of the 
problems is the horse race, er, I mean the crap shoot. . . Damn!  I mean the
STOCK MARKET.
 
      You know, where people make money, not by producing, not by 
investing, but by 'playing the market'.
 
     Investing in a company is a service.  Buying it's stock in the hopes
that it will go up eventually is a service.  Buying it at 2:00 and
selling it at 2:27 is doing it a DISSERVICE.  You are making the market
a less stable indicator of what the REAL value really is.
 
      There is only one thing that I keep in mind, however, and that is
that I NEVER feel sorry for a person who goes broke in a stock market 
crash when they were palying the market. . . any more than I feel 
sorry for someone who goes broke at a horse track or in a casino.
 
                                                     John

-- 
"Love is cool; I mean, like, really cool.  Like, the coolest thing in
the universe, where, like, people open up inside and show the world how
they feel, and they ain't afraid someone's gonna laugh because they, like,
love themselves already!"  --Personality 42, a generic 60's philosopher
From: aahz@netcom.com (Aahzmandius)
Subject: Re: a weary patron returns
Date: Tue, 07 Apr 92 01:58:30 GMT
Organization: Bill 'n' Opus for Prez
Distribution: world  

In article <1992Apr4.182533.3655@unixland.natick.ma.us> escorpia@unixland.natick.ma.us (Ruth Wallace-Laubinger) writes:
>
>"Thanx, Mike. Um, if you happen to see Gray Lady or Aahz, would you send 
>give holler?"

Yes, dear, I'm here.  I've even got a treat for you: a mug of rich hot
chocolate laced with Truffles....
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

Mothers are inventors by necessity
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: tjlee@iastate.edu (Tom Lee)
Subject: Isaac Asimov
Originator: tjlee@pv740b.vincent.iastate.edu
Organization: Seven Wishes Lamp Co.
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 22:46:01 GMT

	The spotlight of your attention returns to Tom, who got a drink
last night, but is only now walking away from the bar and toward the
chalk line.  For some reason, nobody's bumped into him or anything, as
if he's only there when your attention is too.

	He holds his glass aloft, and says, "The science fiction books I
remember reading when I was little were _The Forgotten Door_ by
Alexander Key, _Lost Race of Mars_ by Robert Silverberg, those 'Space
Cat' books that I don't remember who wrote ...."  He pauses for breath.

	"... and _Lucky Starr and the Moons of Jupiter_, by Isaac
Asimov," he finishes with another sober pause.

	"Since I met him through his writings, I've read and greatly
enjoyed a lot of his stories.  There are a lot of them I have yet to
read.  But now there will be no more."  He says this last somewhat
forcefully, as if trying to convince himself.  It seems to work; Tom
looks the sadder for it.

	Glass in the air, he turns toward the nearest window, and says,
"So, Dr. Asimov," to the stars.  "Nothing but my best wishes go with you
to the beyond."

	With his glass still raised, he pauses, then continues,
"Also ..."

	And your attention drifts to another part of the bar, leaving
Tom to continue next time you read a post from him.

-----------------------<| "It's fun to be in the same decade with you."
  <=|- Tom Lee -|=>   -<|  
  tjlee@iastate.edu   -<|  -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
-----------------------<|     (in a cable to Winston Churchill)
From: brumby@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: balrog meets Tizrak !
Date: 8 Apr 92 18:59:15 GMT
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.


   The brumby is actually based on brumbys of the high country where it
does snow in the depths of winter. 

>	Well, you should have switched topics sooner, but alas you did not and
>now it is time to pay the piper as they say.  Watch out Brumby, here it comes,
>SPLAT.

   The brumby looks up and sighs, having decided it's time to face the
music. Some one giggles at the sight of the snow in his forelock.
   "Pipe down! Or you'll be dancing to a different tune. I suppose I
could score a few more but I'd be drummed out of the place."


-- 
     The Silver Brumby of          brumby@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
      the Silicon Plains

      The grass is always greener on the other side of the network.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: Hickory, hickory dock, a cartoon mouse on rock...
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 07:57:15 GMT

In article <1992Apr16.021134.29315@ucc.su.OZ.AU>, mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar) writes:
>DM pauses to marvel at the immense variety of things that humans do for
>pleasure. Perhaps after he returns from his three day Easter bushwalk
>(with both Shonias and the Wizard) he will treat everyone to an Xwindow...

StM requests, "For the benefit of those of us at the antipodes, could you
perhaps enlighten us as to the difference between a bushwalk and `going
walkabout'?  Thanks in advance."
From: ee8net@gdt.bath.ac.uk (Nicki Trasler)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: You are invited to a picnic!
Date: 6 Apr 92 15:25:35 GMT
Organization: School of Electrical Engineering, University of Bath, UK

>  Stumpy wanders toward the french windows and watches as the picnickers 
>prepare their respective feasts. Looking for the simplicity he enjoys at a
>picnic his gaze finally falls on Nicki.

Nicki feels Stumpy looking at her and, turning slightly to face him,
welcomes him with a happy smile.

>  Stumpy makes his way across the clearing to Nicki's spot in the sun,
>"Mind if I join you? There are plenty of flashy menus out here, but this is
>what I call a picnic."

"Of course I don't mind, join me and welcome.  I prefer simple picnics,
myself.  Something that has the right feel to it, not just a candlelit
dinner outdoors, though they too have their place, of course."  She
smiles at him again.

>  Taking the smile as a positive sign Stumpy sits himself down by the 
>white cloth and begins to fill a plate, listening to Nicki's tune all the
>while.
>
>  "I'm afraid my musical talent is limited, but I'd be happy to put off 
>lunch if anyone wants to dance." He turns his eyes to Nicki again, "You 
>play very well by the way, and I'd be just as happy to lie here watching 
>the clouds and listening to the music as anything else. Play on my friend,
>play on."

Nicki nods at the compliment, playing all the while.

Soon after this, she hears Linda's request and, with her on trumpet and
Arty playing his 12-string, plays "The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy of
Company B".  She's not even surprised at the dragon joining in on the
harmonica.

Finishing with a laugh and a flourish, Nicki pauses for just a short
while before playing another tune.  She almost stops when a small blue
firelizard pops into being infront of her.

<<Dart!  Where've you been.>>

<<Here and there.  I figured you'd need an extra voice for that song
you're playing.>>

With this, the blue firelizard perches himself on Nicki's shoulder and
begins to sing with the guitar playing, a gentle, beautiful tune.

Concentrating so hard on playing, it takes Nicki a little while to
notice that someone else has joined in.  Looking around, she spots
Galadin with his keyboard, adding depth to the music.  Gradually, more
people join in, some of them hesitantly, but picking up in confidence.

Soon, the whole meadow is full of the lovely music, changing as
different musicians lead it in different directions, but still keeping
together perfectly.  Above all of the instruments, Dart's voice sounds
clear and high, a perfect descant to whichever tune currently dominates
the music.
From: vad276g@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: A short, uninteresting story.
Date: 2 Apr 92 14:31:13 GMT
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.


   The brumby cannot remmeber whether he's mentioned the origin of his name
before or not.

dapetersen@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu (Toothpick (-:)) writes:

>Toothpick gives Stumpy another hug.  "I wonder who ELSE has a story behind
>her/his nick?!  Anyone?"

   "Mine came from first year Comp. Sci in 1986. I was put on a vax which
was the first multi-user computer I'd ever seen. So after a few weeks we
were all changing our process names to things and I needed an equine name
in a hurry. Since I was reading 'The Silver Brumby' at the time and copping
flack for reading a childrens book, I put the name up. Within a week I had
half a dozen bits of mail asking what a brumby was. So it stayed. Funnily
enough, when I got access here 2 years ago and a modem not long after, I
got mail asking me if my name is based on Elyne Mitchell's books. The
first book is being turned into a movie soon by the way. There was a picture
in the paper of Elyne Mitchell, 78 and still going strong, patting one
of the palomino stars of the movie."


-- 
     The Silver Brumby of      vad276g@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au (till Apr 13)
      the Silicon Plains           brumby@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au

      The grass is always greener on the other side of the network.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: RHPS
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 16:42:09 GMT

In <rrchaINN8jq@agate.berkeley.edu> erikred@ocf.berkeley.edu (Erik Nielsen) writes:

>"Rocky makes no apologies for itself, and the fans are no different.  If you
>don't like it, tough, don't come again.  If you want to let your hair down,
>however, this is indeed the place to do it."

>So saying, the giant whips off his trenchcoat, revealing a wheelchair and
>fishnet stockings.  "Ve've got to get... [the fuck!]... out uv here!"



>[Roll-call!]

>"Janet!"	"Brad!"		|	"Janet!"        "Brad!"
>"Janet!"	"Doctor Scott!"	|	"Janet!"        "Doctor Scott!"
>"Rocky!"	"Hunh!"		|	"Rocky!"        "Hunh!"

>			"Janet!"        "Brad!"
>			"Janet!"        "Doctor Scott!"
>			"Rocky!"        "Hunh!"
>[General Applause.]



>	When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy,
>	You knew he was a no-good kid.
>	But when he threatened your life
>	With a [BALL-POINT PEN!!] switch-blade knife;

>	What a guy!  Whoah-oh-oooooh...
>	Makes you cry!  Hey-ay-ayyyyy...
>	Und... I... did...  [What the Hell's an "und"?]
>	Ed-die...


"ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, eddie." (i always wanted to do columbia, but
i can't tap dance :)

kitten wants to do the time warp with the bfg...
--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 

"kittens today are not properly trained--the way that they were when
victoria reigned." asparagus (gus: the theatre cat)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: deja vu
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 22:20:44 GMT

kitten, who has been drinking dark beer for personal reasons....sits
in a haze at the gateway 2000 crystal scan...the screen is nice but
the keyboard is mushy....

i just had a strange experience...deja vu.  it is mom's weekend at the
university of illinois and the students for environmental concerns are
having an "event"....NOT a protest and not a rally...but bands and
booths.... you all know the drill.  as i was walking across the quad i
was struck by the appearance of the event...lots of tie-die...india
print sheer cotton skirts...lots of hair.  quad dogs chasing frisbees.
Our own rasta james "chef ra" wilson...champaign-urbana's personal
contribution to the 1992 presidential campaign (see april's 'high
times' magazine for details...this is NOT a paid political advertisement.
just another saturday afternoon.  then i listened to the song the band
was playing..."four killed in ohio"...now they were no crosby, stills
and nash...in fact, they weren't born when the song was written.  but
the feeling was the same...i wiped tears from my eyes as i walked on.

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 

"kittens today are not properly trained--the way that they were when
victoria reigned." asparagus (gus: the theatre cat)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: RHPS
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 10:22:40 GMT

In article <1992Apr5.141541.10721@husc3.harvard.edu>, olson@husc9.Harvard.EDU (Charles Olson) writes:
>Castellan jumps up and lines up behind Kitten, also in corset and spike heels 
>(how do people wear these things on a daily basis?! OUCH!).  Fortunately, this
>being VR, it doesn't look nearly as silly on him as it would in RL.
>"As you might guess, I'm also in need of a Rocky fix.  Last I saw it was at
>Arisia back in January, and found that RHPS is improved by seeing it whilst
>three sheets to the wind. 


"No, no, no," StM manages to say whilst lasciviously licking Kitten's ankles,
"drunk is NOT the way to watch it.  You need mushrooms, acid, peyote, or
suchlike."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans