From: ck10322@china.medtronic.com (Cameron Kaszas)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: Adultery, non-marital sex, and forgiveness
Date: 25 Jan 93 04:57:52 GMT
Organization: Medtronic, Inc., Minneapolis, MN

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> I have a question about what I see as an apparent contradiction regarding
> adultery (I apologize if this has been discussed before).  The OT position
> is clear in the Commandments, but in the NT where so much emphasis is put 
> on forgiving and forgiveness, Jesus Himself said that the only grounds for
> divorce was adultery.  But how can a Christian ask that his/her trespasses
> be forgiven as those who trespass against him/her if they won't forgive 
> his/her spouse (even for adultery)? 

	The Christian should still forgive the spouse.  Can't one
        forgive, yet at the same time discipline the unfaithful spouse?
        And maybe the unfaithful one doesn't want to accept forgiveness
        and repent.  The forgiving one has done all that is asked of
        him.  He shouldn't have to try to continue living with the unfaithful
        who is not willing to their half to make the marriage work, should he?

> If we should judge not lest we be 
> judged, how can we say that an adulterer is any worse than any of us?  

	They're not.  We've all committed sins that are just as
        atrocious viewed through God's eyes.  Of course, it is human of
        us to rate sins in order of their sinfulness, and we can 
        conveniently put some of the ones that we know we'll 
        never commit (like homosexuality, for example) in the serious
        range.

        And there is a difference between "judging" and pointing
        out sin.  We are not to turn a blind eye to everything just
        because we are all sinners too. 

> What about not casting the first stone?  What am I missing here?  

        Jesus also commands us to discipline and point out
        sin (especially that of fellow Christians) when they have gone
        astray.  But this is totally separate from forgiving them
        if they have hurt us.  God disciplines us, but he also 
        forgives us.

> That also raises the issue of non-marital sex.  Can a Christian say 
> with clear conscious to a potential spouse, "I can't marry you because you 
> had sex with your high school honey/ex-fiancee/whatever".
> If we are 
> taught to forgive then we should also forgive them that, shouldn't we?
> You might say a *true* Christian would wait for marriage, but we also
> know the flesh can be weak, people are sinful (willingly and unwittingly)
> and people make mistakes.  What about someone who is new to the
> faith and truly regrets their past?

	Anyone who realizes that they made a mistake and is truly sorry
        and honestly tries to stop committing the sin is forgiven
        by God, and should be also by Christians.

	I don't see that this is necesarrily related to a personal 
        decision to marry that person or not.

> Suppose your spouse had an affair; could anyone, in good faith, say 
> "Well, God can forgive you, but I can't"?  I suspect at first I'd hardly
> react in a Christian manner, but isn't forgiveness fundamental to the 
> Christian faith even in the case of adulterous behaviour?  

	Yes!

	But realize that sin has consequences.  God forgives our sins,
        but I don't expect that he will always remove the consequences  
        that our sins may have caused us.  The consequences may be 
        divorce, no marriage, AIDS, etc. We have to live with those.

        Of course the eternal consequences of sin God will take care of!

Cam Kaszas
ck10322@medtronic.com