HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING (was Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night))
Keywords: I HATE CROSSPOSTERS
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Organization: International FurHarvester: Combine a Commie for Christ
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 06:17:04 GMT

curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin) writes:

>It is, I will admit, true that I too was considering taking up a
>collection.  However, my thoughts were more along the line of
>getting some of Don's pals from rec.guns together one weekend,
>for an ape hunt.
>
>Or would they do it for free?  Let's have some feedback, Don.

	Where does this Steve Franklin live, and do they have combines
or other forms of Agro-Barbaric machinery? 

--
< Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu viking@iastate.edu >
<  ISU only censors what I read, not what I say.  Don't blame them.  >
<  "This isn't an answer, it's a pagan dance around a midnight fire  >
<   written in intellectual runes." -- Rich Young                    >
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@twg.com (His Majesty, The Policeman)
Subject: Re: Alt.peeves FAQ
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Peevetown SchuetzStaffel
Distribution: alt
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 17:51:28 GMT


In article <28124@castle.ed.ac.uk>, fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:
[inane excreta from transatlantic academia deleted]

Sheesh! Such a waste of bandwidth I've not seen in ages. Get this stuff out of
here and into some other group where it belongs - like news.announce.newusers!

--
Nolan "Ain't got time to FAQ around" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: JENNY'S LESSON IN FLAMING (was Re: the Devil's Day (and the Devil's Night))
Date: 10 Nov 92 21:27:17 GMT
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <BxH1sB.7r0@cs.dal.ca> franklin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Steve Franklin) writes:
>(lesson in flaming follows a sample silly flame from my good friend Jenny)

[For brevity sake - 
	Deleted public service message about date rape.
	Misogynistic rant deleted.
>   So - for your pleasure, the FLAMERS GUIDE OF THE MONTH is yours to mosey 

>over. Read it, or ignore it, but feel the wrath of USENET if you ignore this
>plea for your rubbish to cease!

[Over 100 lines of pompous verbiage deleted for sanity's sake.]

Peeve: People who crosspost stuff into alt.peeves, alt.flame,
alt.evil, alt.sex, alt.fan.warlord.

MorePeevesome: People who propagate the stuff even further to show
everyone he is trying to make a point.

Peeve: Any kind of "fan".

Peeve: People who have probably been on the net since the beginning of
the semester and feel they are so darned knowledgeable of USENET culture
that they are entitled to give everyone else lessons in deportment.
The only people entitled to give lessons on net.deportment are Brian
Reid, Erik Fair, and maybe sometimes Chuq Von Ronspach. Maybe.

Peeve: People who use the ratio of male to female posters on the net as
a way to bludgeon the few female posters on the net in a sheer hissy
fit of sexual jealousy. No wonder there are so few women posting on the
net - we get greeted by frustrated men angry at all the attention we
get. Do you think we *like* living in Testosterone Land? Its like another
planet in here!

Peeve: Spokesnerds. Feh.

ER
--

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
.. Clinton seems to be capable of staying awake for Cabinet
meetings, and his offspring squeezes pimples instead of little old
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: diana@wetware.com (CatWoman )
Subject: Re: I told you so!
Organization: Castle WetWare MouseCatcher
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 13:08:40 GMT

nolan@twg.com writes:

] diana@wetware.com (CatWoman ) writes:
] 
] |>Subject: Congratulations!
] 
] [Jeremy's announcement of his recent state change deleted]
] 
] |>And all the other stuff that goes with it!!
] 
] Aha! There she goes being NICE again. Ptooie! We CrustyOldFarts are gonna eject
] you from impolite society if you keep this unbecoming behavior up. You've been
] warned.

Hah!  Shows how little YOU know!

This isn't alt.tasteless, so I refrained from
mentioning all the "other stuff" that goes with
having a baby.

Diana
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Annoying people
Date: 10 Nov 92 02:19:17 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard



The most peevesome people can be found in restaurants and those talking on
car phones.

Although the most obnoxious experience in a restaurant is the Howling Infant, 
there is another offender: the noisy eater.  There are several varieties of
these.  One is the guy who sounds like he's trying to eat his plate.  From far
across the room I can hear him gnashing on his plate with knife and fork.  In
fact, most of his dinner time is spent doing this; the fork only occasionally
darts into his mouth.  These people should always be given a paper plate and
plastic utensils.

Another is the guy who talks with his mouth full of food.  When you hear him,
you can just tell his mouth is crammed with food.  If you're really unlucky,
you can see him and he probably chews with his mouth open.

Another group are the ice-chewers.  They usually order some sort of rabbit
food and then spend the next two hours drinking water and chewing on the
ice.  I used to have a guy that sat behind me at work who'd go to the Coke
machine, press "#" for "extra ice" and then spend the next hour swishing it
around and chewing on it:

	shish-shish-shushh, poc!  gnrrkk-glggg-knkkk! shish-shish-shushh,
	poc!  gnrrkk-glggg-knkkk! shish-shish-shushh, poc!  gnrrkk-glggg-
	knkkk! shish-shish-shushh, poc!  gnrrkk-glggg-knkkk! shish-shish-
	shushh, poc!  gnrrkk-glggg-knkkk!
		 \
		  \___ (a GeoffSoundRendition describing the impact of the
		       paper cup on this twerp's desk)

Then there are the Almost Finished.  These people actually finished eating
some time ago, but now decide to spend twenty minutes doing something really
annoying such as tapping coins or keys on the table while they talk.  Or,
better yet, one of them stands up next to your table and remains standing
there talking to the other person still sitting.

!Peeve: women don't seem to have these annoying habits

				* * *

Phones and phonophiles are peevesome enough, but when you put a phone in a
car being propelled down the freeway at 70+ mph, just stay clear.

I see this guy in a Chevy Corsica.  He's lowered the car, put fancy wheels
on it, a dumb vanity plate, and "sporty" trim.  He looks like a yuppie manager
type because he's very overdressed and flashing gold trinklets.  OK, so this
guy is practically *reclining* in the front seat of his car -- I can see that
he's not short, but his head is barely above the window line.  His left hand
is holding the phone (notice the gold Rolex) and his right hand is waving about
wildly.  In the span of a few seconds, his facial expressions recreate all of
those in Die Fledermaus.  He is not looking at the road or traffic, but sort
of staring up at the sky.  I hope that when Father Darwin calls on this guy
that no one else gets hurt.  I'd sure like to have a PhoneZapper that would
kill these things with a huge EMF pulse as I go by.

-Dave
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.sex
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: <None>
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 92 16:48:00 GMT

In <1992Nov13.005847.1@fnalc.fnal.gov> birmingh@fnalc.fnal.gov writes:

>         ObIrrelevantTangent: the above album is fairly decent thrash-type
>    metal. Ice-T really surprised me with this one.

I don't remember whether I posted it here or not, but I actually had a chance
to meet Mr. T (first name ICE).  He is a neighbor to a friend of mine out in
El Lay, as it turns out.

One day I'm out walking my buddy's two Dachsunds, Bart (after Simpson) and
Belle.  Bart is a frisky young buck who loves all people but HATES all
other animals and will attack any animal of any size.  Belle was getting
over a ruptured disc and could just pretty much manage to drag her hind
legs when I wasn't carrying her.  Bart, on the other paw, was one of those
dogs that is always straining at the leash.

So here I am, walking down the street, just a block up from Spago and at the
corner of the condo building where MTV gave away Axl Rose's condo in a
contest.  Belle wants down so she can finish pushing out a loaf from her
partially paralyzed sphincter, so I obliged her.  At that point, my
concentration is on her when Bart BREAKS AWAY in a barking frenzy and starts
running toward a pit bull just up the block.

So I left the cripple-dog where she was and took off after Bart.  I was
able to grab his leash as he was within about 5 feet of the pit bull.  But
I noticed that the pit bull had run and was cringing behind his master.
His master was instantly recognized by me as the one, the only Ice-T.

So, Ice-T's first words to me as I look at him, then at his dog, "That's
a real fierce dog you've got there!"  We got talking and I told him that
it wasn't my dog, but a friend's.  His dog and Bart had apparently met
before, as I found out.  We couldn't chat long, though, as the dogs were
getting restless in their own respective ways and I was becoming
concerned that Belle, the crippled dog, might drag herself out into the
street and in front of a car.  We parted company on friendly words.

Not a peeve, so what?
--
No, you do not know me.
Yes, I KNOW I look like someone you know.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Subject: Re: Two bacon
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agro-Barbarian)
Organization: International FurHarvester: Combine a Commie for Christ
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 07:30:43 GMT

henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken) writes:
>New International (hah) House of Pancakes ad:  "Two eggs, two bacon, ..."
>
>Two *bacon*??? 

	I see you are from Berkeley.  Let me set your mind at ease.
Those of us who kill and eat animals invariably do so without the
use of excess verbiage, since that would only rile the silly folk who
think this sort of death and dismemberment unnecessary.  "Two bacon"
sounds a lot better than "two strips of pork flesh taken from the back
of a hog while said hog squealed in pain, arteries spurting blood and
the skin peeling back over the twisting, frightened animal like the
skin of a large, bloody grape."  Trust me (ObMovieReference), in a
small state like Iowa we take our marketing of dead, charred animal
flesh seriously.

--
< Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu viking@iastate.edu >
<  ISU only censors what I read, not what I say.  Don't blame them.  >
<  "This isn't an answer, it's a pagan dance around a midnight fire  >
<   written in intellectual runes." -- Rich Young                    >
From: library@comlab.ox.ac.uk (Gordon Riddell)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: "Impact"
Date: 6 Nov 92 09:55:39 GMT
Distribution: alt.peeves
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK
Originator: library@merlin.comlab

>Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al Crawford) writes:
>> 
>> Third and final peeve - yeah, I know I only said two, so what? This coming
>> Thursday is Guy Fawkes Night here in the UK upon which we either (I'm never
>> entirely sure) commemorate Guido Fawkes attempting to blow up the Houses Of
>> Parliament or the fact that he was caught and burnt or whatever. This is
>> usually commemorated by building big bonfires (which get rained upon) and
>> setting off lots of fireworks (which either got rained upon or go off in

Guy Fawkes Night is when we celebrate his capture and subsequent execution.
As a Cafflick ol' Guy wanted to escape persecution by blowing up a Scotsman,
James the VI (of Scotland) and I (of England).

Apparently in some of our more enlightened communitities the "Guy" is an
effigy of the Pope.
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Space Age Outerwear and a challenge
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 92 18:27:35 GMT

In <1992Nov12.153339.8829@ac.dal.ca> 01sybok@ac.dal.ca writes:

>This from a man named "Bill". 
>Mike

You learn fast, my northern neighbor.

Now that we have dispensed with the formalities, why don't you just post
your picture to the net?  Out with it!  Let the people decide!

Besides all of that, I need a good picture to glue onto the hockey puck
in my office.  Caught it barehanded the other night at an Atlanta
Knights game.  And where the hell in Canada is Moncton?  I'm guessing
that its somewhere in Quebec.

!Peeve:  minor league hockey - the action is in-tense, eh?  And Geoff,
         how 'bout them Sharks?

Pecksniffianly,
  Bill  William, actually.  The name of a prince.
--
No, you do not know me.
Yes, I KNOW I look like someone you know.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: nolan@lurch.twg.com ()
Subject: Re: Pavlov's Lab Supervisor
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Office of Proper Political Beliefs
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 17:54:47 GMT


In article <lfj5ejINNg5i@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM>, Mr. alt.tasteless spills the
beans:

Geoff, you sound like you need a haircut, leaning a bit farther to the left
than usual as you are in this article. Hop over to the barber yesterday!

--
Nolan "Man enough to do woman's work" Hinshaw
Internet: nolan@twg.com			Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197	
"Anything that disorients you is good for you"  Tiny Doctor Tim
"Illiterati non Carborundum(tm)" Mise me fein
"Grab Dick and come on down"  Don Pette
"You can't combat illiteracy with soap" Jenny Gutbezahl, alt.peeves
"Boy, was I in for a dose of reality." Randall K. Abler
"... necrophilia doesn't really hurt anybody."  Rick Gordon
"Well, first of all, your stance is too wide"

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Predator species
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 16:12:27 GMT

In <1dni5rINNe9e@agate.berkeley.edu> henken@ocf.berkeley.edu (Matthew J. Henken) writes:

>Peeve: I wasn't anywhere nearby when Curtis went on his rodent rending rampage.

Ya know, the timing of Mr. Yarvin's rodent rodeo is impeccable.  Yes, ma'am.
It simply cannot be pecced.

Yesterday afternoon, I wandered out of my palacial offices and up the center
hallway of the building.  At the end of the hallway, I noticed a crowd
gathered by the picture windows which are actually an entire facing on the
building.  There's a rather large tree outside that window, some deciduous
variety is all I know.

In the tree was a predator species.  No, some loony EE hadn't climbed into
the damned thing.  In the tree was a full-grown hawk, the origins of which
are unclear but which appear to be such that the hawk (a peregrine fALLcon,
said some) was captured in the wild and brought to this urban area to
predate upon the pigeons which dwelleth here.  And there are (were???) MANY
pigeons in the area.  They roost and nest in the facade of the building
where I have my palacial offices.

Oh, the fun we had watching the hunting rituals of the hawk.  A few days
ago one of our professors saw him/her capture and ritually consume a
brown squirrel.  Yesterday, I personally observed the hawk as he captured
two pigeons on the wing and then proceeded to defeather them, then
gut them alive.  All the while, the pigeons squirmed, flapped, wiggled,
or otherwise made it known that their life force was still within them.
All the while, the feathers wafted off into the breeze, landing in an area
not to far away.  This all occurred over a parking lot and in front of many
spectators, indoors and out.  One woman damn near got a gallon of hawk
guano on her VW Beetle/Bug.  It just missed her car but provided a nice,
slippery puddle for anyone who would walk past.

What a peevesome moment it was when darkness fell and we could no longer
go check on the hawk.  He's not around these parts this morning, but has
apparently moved on for the time being.  He's probably dining on
squirrel today.  The squirrels live in a different part of campus for the
most part.  A shame, really.

god, do I love nature!  I expect the animals rightsists will be having a
sit-in to protest the hawk's predatory and species-ist actions.

So, Iowa Dan, you got many hawks out that way?  What a show!
--
I'd rather be in an office than a pillory,
George can screw Barbara, I'm voting for Hillary
-seen on a women's bathroom wall in a Santa Cruz saloon
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Scoring Points?
Date: 6 Nov 92 13:41:28 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

donp@twg.com (Don Pette) writes:

>last night as I was dropping off my (possible) future love recepticle, 
>she said this, "You are definately scoring points with me, bye".

>Scoring points? What the fuck is this, I was under the impression
>we were dating, not playing cribbage.

No, no. This is definitely what the world needs. There a millions of us
out here trying to deal with what's dubiously known as "the fairer sex"
who are constantly faced with the question "What the fuck did I do NOW??"

Clearly what is needed is a points sheet. Two points for holding doors,
three points for not swearing for the entire evening, sixty-three points
for getting whatever it was she wanted without having to ask (yes, we
ARE supposed to be telepathic, I'm pretty sure of that one).

Naturally there'd be negative points for coming home blind drunk,
getting into bed without warming your feet first, not shaving, and
eyeing the boobs on the blonde next door.

With this kind of system, women could be required to carry their own
personal scorecard and we'd all know what the hell we were about. If our
point scores got dangerously near zero, they'd be permitted to stage a
walkout, go on a sex strike, or sit in a dignified silence spitting out
the word "nothing!" when asked "what's wrong?". 

I can see the flaw in this system though. The little darlings are not,
and never have been, consistent. One day you can be dragged back home
and have your clothes torn of for a marathon session of bouncy-bouncy
and the very next day the same person will be in a bad mood because "all
you want is sex..."

I'm telling you, they don't think like normal people...

Mike "hoping to get an asbestos suit for xmas" Holmes

obpeeve: I have to scan these posts in case Jeremy includes some line
out of context in his .sig
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,talk.politics.misc,talk.abortion
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: Clearly WrongHeaded Thinking
Followup-To: soc.singles,alt.sex
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 18:23:23 GMT

zursch@whizkid.wpd.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide) writes:
] 
] Absolutely. Bill Clinton is going to be looking for a good, cheap, clean
] war to prove his mettle to the people. 
] 
] I think your frostbitten asses are due for a good whacking. 

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!!!!!

The USA will NOT INVADE CANADA in some blatant
MachoTestosteroneLadenDickWavingFest!

We Need to come to the Aid of the Decent People of Canada
who are Tired of Suffering under the Bondage of the 
Socialist Oppressors and Cultural Myopialists!

The Liberation of Canada is a Part of Our God Given
Destiney, and Holy Obligation!!!!


ciao
drieux

ps: since, as anyone familiar with the antiabortion debates
can tell you, Candadians are Really Potential American Citizens
as they could become them... Thus the Liberation of Canada is
merely a Matter of Protecting the Rights of American Citizens
from the Evil Socialist Cabal Of Oppressors!!

obPeeve: These WimpLiberalToadies who can not see the
Divine Obligations so Clearly Set Before them....


-- 
Modern Day Problems:
Hickory, Dickory, Dock - Three Mice Ran up a Clock
The Clock Struct one, 
and the Other Two will be Upgraded In the Next Release.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Peevetown General Hospital: Take 1
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia
Date: Wed, 4 Nov 1992 23:49:19 GMT


Saturday afternoon I felt a little roughness at the back of my throat,
a scratchy spot that portended a minor headcold to come.  I haven't
had a cold for a couple of years, but it always starts this way for
me: scratchy throat, a little extra mucus in the nose the next day,
sneezing and coughing the next, then two or three days of recovery
during which my voice drops an octave in pitch, then it's gone.
"What a nuisance," I thought.

The next day I was sneezing and blowing my nose all day, my chest felt
full of something ugly, my temperature broke through 100F, I was
approaching miserability.  I lay down in the early evening to take a
nap, gathering my meager disease-fighting reserves.  I had taken a
few Safeway-brand pseudoephedrine tablets to combat the fluid buildup
in my head, and the drug, weak as it was, made me drowsy.

I woke up with a cough, triggered by a bit of mucus burbling up out of
my bronchi, tickling my throat.  I felt the mass of horrible stuff shift
a bit at the top of my chest, making me think that, at least, this
cough will do some good.

What it did was shut down the airway to my lungs.

I jumped out of the bed and tried, soundlessly, to breathe, but nothing
came in.  I tried to force air out (maybe I've blocked up my throat with
a huge glob of goo, I can force it out like a piece of unmasticated
meat needing the Heimlich maneuver), which worked to the extent that air
which had been in my lungs was now out and about, but the passage inward
was still blocked tight.  I tried to relax and not do anything foolish,
but at that moment I was running out of ideas and I truly wanted to
breathe.  With short, shallow contractions I was able to squeak a small
amount of air in, then out.  A little more, a little more easily with
each inspiration, until I could breathe, moaning and choking with each
breath to be sure, but not asphyxiating.  My heart was pounding, sweat
sheened my face.  It had taken less than a minute, beginning to end.

My wife had heard the last part of this gruesome exercise and was
standing in front of me asking questions.  Not getting any sensible
answers from me, she called the hospital emergency room and told them
to get ready for a customer.  We argued over the necessity for this
trip for the correct amount of time, then left the house without
turning out the lights or putting the cat out.  We would be right back,
after all.

Next: A short examination becomes complicated by events.


-- 
Rick Gordon      | "She Broke My Heart So I Busted Her Jaw" 
rickg@netcom.com |   --- One of those country songs you never hear anymore
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: False economy
Keywords: we don' need no steenking compensators!
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 92 15:45:59 GMT

In <lg57l1INNrp3@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:

>Have you ever noticed that when people buy a newspaper at a vending machine,
>they never want to take the top copy?  I don't understand this -- like you
>said, it's as though they fear it has cooties.  Another weird fetish I've
>noticed is the way some people won't answer a phone in mid-ring.  They'll
>place their hand on it, but they won't actually lift the handset until the
>pause between rings.


From Bill's Book of Common Fetishes:

"Never take the top newspaper from the news stand.  It is the most likely
to have been ripped or to have inserts missing.  The papers underneath
are protected by the ones above them, except for the last one which often
is nasty, having sat on the ground in its bundle before being placed into
the news stand.  Avoid the bottom one if you can by taking the nice one
from the door."

"Never answer a telephone in mid-ring.  Your caller will get an ear-full
of loud ringing from your telephone bell.  Ouch!"


Look for Bill's Book of Common Fetishes, a fascinating compendium of
the foolish and the fancy.  Coming soon to a bookstore near you.
--
No, you do not know me.
Yes, I KNOW I look like someone you know.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves