HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: atl@suzuki.kpc.com (Drew Lynch)
Subject: Re: Stupid names
Organization: Kubota Pacific Computer
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 23:38:15 GMT


|> >out the window but I can't be bothered to go to alt.flame and that joke was
|> >definitely *NOT* in good taste.

You read this group and expect good taste? Bwahahahahahahahaha!

-- 
+------------------------------+ Andrew Lynch, atl@kpc.com
| Congratulations, Bill and Al | Kubota Pacific Computer Inc. Santa Clara, Ca.
| Now, don't screw it up!      | (408)748-6345
+------------------------------+ Disclaimer: This is me, not them.
From: rcosby@bcm.tmc.edu (Randy C. Cosby)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Summary: Re: Mystery Science Theatre
Date: 26 Jan 93 20:13:48 GMT
Organization: Baylor College of Medicine, Houston, Tx
NNTP-Posting-Host: bcm.tmc.edu

In article <1993Jan19.091201.5066@wkuvx1.bitnet>, futrena@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
> Does anyone else like to watch _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ on
> Comedy Central?  Please repond if you do.
> 
> -- 
Sure,

Try alt.tb.mst3k we talk about it all the time..


Great show!






Coz
From: mwb@wybbs.mi.org (Michael W. Burden)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Mind-reading trick
Date: 25 Jan 93 12:19:10 GMT
Organization: Consultants Connection

In <C1DLJ8.Fov@unix.amherst.edu> mbfeld@unix.amherst.edu (A waste of bandwidth originating) writes:

>Alan Miranda (amiranda@hpcupt3.cup.hp.com) wrote:
>: This should wow your buddies ... it is a series of instructions where the
>: answer to any instruction should be used in the next instruction ...
>[...]
>: I bet you were thinking of a large, grey elephant from Denmark !!!
>Close...I was thinking of a nelephant colored nelephant from england.

>(Actually when I first did this I honestly got a Danish emu, but I don't know
>what color emus are.  They're probably variegated.)

>Marlon

I had a black ostrich from the Dominican Republic.
-- 
+----------------------------------------------------+------------------------+
|             "Let's get DANGEROUS!"                 |  wybbs!mwb@destroyer.  |
|                             -Darkwing Duck         |    rs.itd.umich.edu    |
+----------------------------------------------------+------------------------+
From: df09036@etonic.gte.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Another weird joke
Date: 22 Jan 93 19:57:19 GMT


Q If a submarine lands in your backyard at 12:00 midnight,

  Why would you shingle your doghouse with pancakes ?



A Because icecream doesn't have holes.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: ANSWERING MACHINE MSGS REQUEST
From: dhay@charlie.usd.edu (Dan Hay)
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 20:27:42 GMT
Reply-To: dhay@charlie.usd.edu
Organization: The University of South Dakota Computer Science Dept.

In article <1993Jan15.232125.28465@henson.cc.wwu.edu>, lisac@henson.cc.wwu.edu (lisa m. crown) writes:
>Could someone send me the list of answering machine messages or an
>anonymous ftp site where it is located?
>Thanks in advance...
>
>Lisa Crown
>
internet:  lisac@henson.cc.wwu.edu
Please send it to me too!!!!!!!!
internet:  dhay@charlie.usd.edu
>-- 
>                          --   
>                        ( oo )
>           ----------ooO-(__)-Ooo----------
>
From: stern@herald.usask.ca (Bill Stern)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: A test
Date: 23 Jan 1993 22:51:32 GMT
Organization: University of Saskatchewan
NNTP-Posting-Host: herald.usask.ca
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]
From: R.Dodgin@bradford.ac.uk (R DODGIN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Silly Mr Men
Date: 25 Jan 93 09:57:50 GMT
Organization: University of Bradford, UK
Originator: 91760652@ccw301


 THE ALTERNATIVE LIST OF MR MEN AND LITTLE MISSES
 (Written by: J.Broomfield, R.Dodgin, A.Halsall, E.Kendrick)

1.  Mr Wank
2.  Little Miss Incontinent
3.  Mr Oldgit
4.  Mr MP Bastard
5.  Mr StreetBum
6.  Little Miss Sex Change
7.  Little Miss Prostitute
8.  Mr Psycho
9.  Little Miss Horny
10. Mr leper
11. Little Miss Lesbian
12. Mr Pervert
13. Mr Sperm
14. Little Miss BagWoman
15. Mr Herpes
16. Little Miss Crack Addict
17. Mr Sadist
18. Little Miss Nuclear Protestor
19. Mr Hooligan
20. Little Miss Hooligans tart
21. Mr orgasm
22. Little Miss Shoplifter
23. Mr Jerk Off
24. Little Miss Finger
25. Mr Death-Row-Criminal
26. Mr Anus
27. Little Miss Vaginal Bleeding
28. Mr Bestiality
29. Mr Cheesy Foreskin
30. Mr Vomit
31. Mr Penile Wart
32. Mr Necro
33. Little Miss Cleavage
34. Mr Rectal Bleeding
35. Mr Rapist
36. Mr Shitty Underwear
37. Little Miss Castrator
38. Little Miss Gang Bang
39. Little Miss and Mr Sixty-Nine
40. Little Miss Spontaneous Combustion
-- 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
||  Rich "KHARE" Dodgin      | Too many unknowns in your life ???    ||
||  R.Dodgin@uk.ac.bradford  | Too many onions in mine.              ||
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jim@specialix.com (Jim Maurer)
Subject: Re: James Belushi Films
Organization: Specialix Inc.
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 22:30:22 GMT

tes0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (THOMAS EDWIN SCHMIDLIN) writes:

>In article <C1J3qo.Lx9@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, am49469@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Alexander M
>esin ) writes:
>>I am trying to get a list of movies that Jim Bolushi has played in.  So far,
>                                          ^^^^^^^^^^^
>He prefers James, and I think it's Belushi.

>>I only have five:
>>
>>About Last Night
>>Red Heat
>>Taking Care of Business
>>Real Men
>>K-9

>Mr. Destiny
>Trading Places
>Curly Sue
>There was another one he was in, but the name escapes me.  He played a
>retarded man.  Whoopi Goldberg was also in it.

The Man with One Red Shoe - Also starring Tom Hanks, Dabney Coleman and
			    the lovely Daryl Hannah
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: adam@saki.com.au (Adam Donnison)
Subject: Re: Earthquake Songs
Keywords: music, earthquake
Organization: Saki Computer Services Pty., Ltd., The Patch, Vic., Australia
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 93 03:54:21 GMT

In article <1993Jan20.162438.14262@news.columbia.edu> pw15@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Philip  Wang) writes:
>In article <1993Jan20.144908.13361@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> jbuckner@ringer.cs.utsa.edu (James A. Buckner) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan20.043752.26835@leland.Stanford.EDU> calliope@leland.Stanford.EDU (Joanna Salgado) writes:
>>>Okay, everyone.  What I need is a list of earthquake songs to play
>>>when disaster strikes.
>>>
>>>Examples: "All Shook Up"  Elvis (is alive)
>>>          "I Feel the Earth Move"   Carole King
>>>
>>How about "Pressure" Billy Joel  
>>
>24-7 Spyz did a cover song on a recent EP appropriately called "Earthquake."
>Also, the title track of Gaskin's END OF THE WORLD album.
>"You Shook Me" by Loudness from SOLDIER OF FORTUNE
>"Shake It" by David Bowie (can't remember where it came from)
>"World Eater" by Bolt Thrower from REALM OF CHAOS
>"Suzie Hold On" by Saxon from WHEELS OF STEEL
>That's all I can think of at the moment.
>

Then there's :

"You shook me all night long" - Cold Chisel
"A whole lotta shakin' going on" - Jerry Lee Lewis
"Its the end of the world as we know it" - R.E.M.

-- 
Adam Donnison                                            email: adam@saki.com.au
Saki Computer Services Pty Ltd
93 Kallista-Emerald Road                                   phone: +61 3 752 1512
THE PATCH  VIC 3792    AUSTRALIA                           fax:   +61 3 752 1098
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mei141@cck.coventry.ac.uk (PH)
Subject: Re: Another test
Organization: Coventry University
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 19:24:50 GMT

In article <C1C189.K8s@willamette.edu> bbrown@willamette.edu (Brian Brown) writes:
>>>This is just a test.
>>Is this your best?
>We'll have to see the rest.
Aren't these cascades a pest?

-- 
|   Stephen "PH" Buxton       |   DISCLAIMER:    |    Quote for the Week:      |
|   mei141@uk.ac.cov.cck      |------------------|"Looks like a busy weekend   |
|Aerospace Systems Engineering|Ignore me and you |on the ferries, particularly |
|   Coventry University       |can't go far wrong|Saturday and Sunday" P.Powell|
From: hiester@bach.udel.edu (Jason Grego Hiester)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Steve Wright Quote Request
Date: 26 Jan 93 20:16:16 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware

I remember a little while ago somebody posted a HUGE list of Steven Wright
quotes.  I would really like to get a copy of them.  Could somebody please
either re-post the list or e-mail them to me direct?  Thanks a bunch in
advance.

*****************************************************************************
*  Jason Hiester
*  University of Delaware
*  hiester@brahms.udel.edu
*****************************************************************************
From: engan@vax1.mankato.msus.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Wierd Names
Date: 25 Jan 93 11:58:32 GMT
Article-I.D.: vax1.1993Jan25.175832.2830
Organization: Mankato State University

In article <C1DKHE.DGx@unix.amherst.edu>, mbfeld@unix.amherst.edu (A waste of bandwidth originating) writes:
> 
> Christopher Jon Petit (petitc@nuge111.its.rpi.edu) wrote:
> : bschroeder@desire.wright.edu (Brian Schroeder) writes:
> : 
> : >> How about those fake book names, like: 
> :  Demolition Derbies Illustrated by Carl Wrecked
> :  Biography of Rush Limbaugh by Ize Hitler
> :  Techniques for Winning at the Racetrack by Be Ting Odz
> :  A Guide to Casinos by Iwuz Rich
> :  Garden of Eden by Wanna B. Adam, illustrated by Iwuz Eve
> :  Tourists Guide to New York by Ivebn Robd
> 
> Really...the idea is to come up with a name that not only refers to the book
> title but could also be someone's name.  As a rule, the last name can be
> almost anything, but the first name must be a real first name.
> 
> What's so funny about something like
> 
> Dumb Things to Do by Thissus Stoopid?
> 
> Noone's name is "Thissus Stupid".
> 
> Marlon the ANAL SPOILER
> 
>

What about Innovative Lovelife by Ann Alsex?
From: craa60@vaxa.strath.ac.uk
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Riddles ???????? :-S
Date: 27 Jan 93 11:00:47 GMT
Organization: Strathclyde University VAX Cluster



Does anyone have any idea if there is a newsgroup on riddles. Not brain
basher's. The type you use when your bored at work. The type that makes 
you want to kill the guy for making you look soooo stooopid. e.g.

Q. This guy lives on the 23rd floor of a flat and takes the lift to the ground 
   floor and drives to work. When he returns he takes the lift to the 12th 
   floor and walks the rest of the stairs to his flat. Why?







A. He's a dwarf and he can't reach the 23rd button.

I know it's old but it catches a lotta people out. 
If anyone knows of any group or if anyone else is interested just post them
here, so anybody got any more?

-- 
Martin Kilpatrick	  
University of Strathclyde

		 	"Read it again!" Jim Morrison
From: sth00@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Steve Hedberg)
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 04:01:10 GMT
Subject: Re: practical jokes
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Co., Loveland, CO
Newsgroups: rec.humor





	Something that will provide hours of harassment is to put up
    several for sale adds in the student center or on boards in the
    engineering buildings or any place lots of people walk by offering
    a bike, calculator, computer or some such for a insanely low price
    and his phone number. If it works as well as it did here he will
    get hundreds of phone calls. A HP48sx calculator for around $85.00
    works great!





						Steve

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: wlambert@sioux.ucs.indiana.edu
Subject: Re: testing (cascade starting at TICKLES)
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 23:55:51 GMT

In article <25JAN199312433490@vill.edu> 187646370@vill.edu (TICKLES)  
writes:
* Just trying to see if this posts ok from here. 
It's flying..me, I play croquet and want root beer.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: wlambert@sioux.ucs.indiana.edu
Subject: Re: Subliminal Advertising
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 00:04:01 GMT

In article <C1JBu7.4Gx@news.cso.uiuc.edu> yl44729@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Mr.  
Axl ) writes:
* These messages aren't subliminal!  They are boring!


Some might agree with your position.
However, others may feel that your
undermining their fun is rude and could
take action against your posting.
Usually the people here are peaceful, but when they are
provoked, they can be vicious.

:)
--

 Chris L 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: veen2976@mach1.wlu.ca (veenstra christopher)
Subject: Re: 999,999,999 Green bottles
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 22:08:12 GMT

Mueller Beat (mueller@iwf.mabp.ethz.ch) wrote:
: forest@maths.tcd.ie (Sharon Murphy) writes:
: 
: >engan@vax1.mankato.msus.edu writes:
: 
: >>In article <1993Jan25.175105.4340@bradford.ac.uk>, A.D.Brown@bradford.ac.uk (AD BROWN) writes:
: >>> veen2976@mach1.wlu.ca (veenstra christopher) writes:
: >>> 
: >>>>In article <mPu4uB12w165w@mertwig.UUCP> xyzzy@mertwig.UUCP (Daniel Drucker) writes:
: >>>>>> >>>>>>:>>>>>>> 999,999,999 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>>>>> >>>>>>:>>>>>>> 999,999,999 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>>>>> >>>>>>:>>>>>>> and if one green bottle should accidentally fall
: >>>>>> >>>>>>:>>>>>>> they'd be....
: >>>>>> >>>>>>:>>>>>>
: >>>>> ____________________________________
: >>>>>|                                    |
: >>>>>|    ETC   ETC   ETC   ETC   ETC     |
: >>>>>|____________________________________|
: >>>>>
: >>>>>
: >>>>>> 999,999,985 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>>>>> 999,999,985 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>>>>> and if one of those bottles should happen to fall
: >>>>>> they'd be...
: >>>>>
: >>>>>Come on, cascades don't have to be THIS stupid.
: >>>>>
: >>> 
: >>>>Well, personally, I find this far more amusing than any cascade.  I haven't
: >>>>seen this many people get this annoyed at any cascade yet!  I almost get
: >>>>sick from laughing at all these people telling them to stop.  I love it!  In
: >>>>fact......
: >>> 
: >>>>999,999,984 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>>>999,999,984 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>>>and if one of those bottles should happen to fall
: >>>>they'd be...
: >>> 
: >>> A chain reaction that would cause half the bottles to fall each time
: >>> so:
: >>> 
: >>> 49,999,992 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>> 49,999,992 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>> and if half of those bottles should happen to fall
: >>> there'd be...
: >>> 
: >>24,999,996 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>24,999,996 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >>and if 72.6 percent of those bottles should happen to fall
: >>there'd be...
: >18,149,997 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >18,149,997 Green bottles hanging on the wall
: >and if only those bottles whose masses exceeded, or
: >neared within 0.5%, the breaking stress of the
: >fibres used to support them in such a state
: >of equilibrium... on a tuesday...
: >there'd be...
: 
: 1 green bottle hanging on the wall
: and if one of those bottles should happen to fall...
: 
: there would be nought to end this melodramatic joke.
: 
: zosh
: 
  ZOT!!!!  A rupture in the space time continuum occurs and suddenly there
was....
999,999,999 Green bottles hanging on the wall
999,999,999 Green bottles hanging on the wall
and if one of those bottles should happen to fall
there'd be...

hehehehe.
Chris Veenstra
veen2976@mach1.wlu.ca
From: awilson@kralizec.zeta.org.au (Alan Wilson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Earthquake Songs
Date: 24 Jan 1993 03:07:54 +1100
Organization: Kralizec Dialup Unix Sydney: +61-2-837-1183 V.42bis
NNTP-Posting-Host: kralizec.zeta.org.au
Keywords: music, earthquake

In <1993Jan20.043752.26835@leland.Stanford.EDU> calliope@leland.Stanford.EDU (Joanna Salgado) writes:


>Okay, everyone.  What I need is a list of earthquake songs to play
>when disaster strikes.

>Examples: "All Shook Up"  Elvis (is alive)
>          "I Feel the Earth Move"   Carole King


>Any Suggestions?

How about - Shake, rattle & roll. (Bill Haley)
            Shakin' all over. (Billy Thorpe (I think))

>Thanx,

You're Welcome.

================================================================================
          Alan Wilson                                  Fax: +61-47-314099
     awilson@kralizec.zeta.org.au                    Fido Address 3:713/602
================================================================================
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jvaleu@boi.hp.com (John Valeu)
Subject: Re: Funny Radio station name..........
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 19:24:50 GMT
Distribution: us
Organization: Hewlett-Packard / Boise, Idaho

When I lived in the Bay Area KOME used to be called

"The KOME SPOT on your dial....."


JV
From: lstville@trentu.ca (LYNDELL PHILLIP ST. VILLE)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Earthquake Songs
Keywords: music, earthquake
Date: 25 Jan 93 22:02:00 GMT
Article-I.D.: trentu.25JAN199317024032
Organization: Trent Computing and Telecommunications Department
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1993Jan21.150948.9452@porthos.cc.bellcore.com>, jil@uts.uucp (Jamie Lubin) writes...
>In article <1993Jan21.031055.11923@pony.Ingres.COM> garrett@Ingres.COM (We need stronger death penalties) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan20.043752.26835@leland.Stanford.EDU>, calliope@leland.Stanford.EDU (Joanna Salgado)     writes...
>>>Okay, everyone.  What I need is a list of earthquake songs to play
>>>when disaster strikes.
>>> 
>>>Examples: "All Shook Up"  Elvis (is alive)
>>>          "I Feel the Earth Move"   Carole King
>>> 
>>"Shakin'"  Eddie Money
> 
>Shake Me, Wake Me (When It's Over)-4 Tops
>I Can Never Go Home Anymore-Shangri-las
>Bits & Pieces_Dave Clark 5
>Reelin' & Rockin'-Chuck Berry or Dave Clark 5
>Suddenly There's A Valley-Gogi Grant
>Going In Circles-Friends Of Distinction
>Only The Strong Survive-Jerry Butler
Mix up Mix up - Bob Marley
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: bcollins@utdallas.edu (ARLIN B COLLINS)
Subject: What do you get if .... elephant joke?
Keywords: knock-knock, elephants
Organization: Univ. of Texas at Dallas
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 19:46:42 GMT

In article <21250@ksr.com> tolkin@ksr.com (Steve Tolkin) writes:
>Knock, knock.
>Who's there?
>Elephants.
>Elephants who?
>
>Ella Fintzgerald !
>

   my  'old' favorite:

   what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinocerous[sp?] ??
   ---  elephrino      [hell if I know]
-- 
 Arlin B Collins    Thu 21 Jan   Sun   Civil  Naut   Astro
 bcollins@utdallas.edu   rise:  07:29  07:02  06:32  06:03
 lat N32.9 long W096.9    set:  17:49  18:16  18:46  19:15
Xref: sparky rec.humor:39087 rec.arts.books:26542 alt.horror:5664 talk.bizarre:46715
From: malc@pyramid.unr.edu (Malcolm L. Carlock)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.arts.books,alt.horror,talk.bizarre
Subject: Ta-Dum
Date: 27 Jan 93 20:56:14 GMT
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Xinaian Tourist Bureau

What inspires worship, rips the throats out of priggish governesses,
and races a modified '92 Chevy Lumina?



Sredni Nascar the Beautiful.



What inspires worship, rips the throats out of priggish governesses,
and catches speeders using airborne radar?



Sredni Vascar the Beautiful.



Thank you, thank you.
--
Malcolm L. Carlock                      Internet:  malc@unr.edu
                                        UUCP:      unr!malc
                                        BITNET:    malc@equinox
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mike@is.morgan.com (Michael Lewis)
Subject: Re: Earthquake songs
Organization: Morgan Stanley - IS
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 15:24:59 GMT


"Shake it up" - The Cars
"You ain't seen nothin' yet" - Bachman Turner Overdrive  (while waiting for after-shocks)
From: S.E.Rigden@newcastle.ac.uk (SER)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: THAT THAT THAT THAT THAT ...
Date: 22 Jan 93 09:25:03 GMT
Organization: University of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, NE1 7RU

Hello.

Someone said before Christmas that they knew a sentence with 11
consecutive "that"s in it.
Could you please post it, whoever you are.
Infact, if anyone knows it could they post it.


Thankyou.


 - SER

ObJoke :

Q. How will Kevin Keegan be preparing for the FA Cup final this year?
A. By renting a TV and getting some beers in.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: kadric@faw.uni-ulm.de (L. Kadric)
Subject: Re: Wierd Names
Organization: FAW (Research Institute For Applied Knowledge Processing, Ulm, Germany)
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 15:36:11 GMT

How to become a millionaire by Rob A. Lot
How to become a nun by Don T. McLuv.
From: rrg@aber.ac.uk (Royston Goodacre)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Birdie joke
Keywords: budgie, seed
Date: 27 Jan 93 16:29:24 GMT
Organization: University of Wales, Aberystwyth


Q.  How do you tell when your budgie has had enough seed?

A.  It finally gets pregnant.


-- 

ssome stupid comment by me!!!!
From: lee@equinox.unr.edu (Lee T Grasseschi)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Somalia joke
Date: 22 Jan 93 00:10:04 GMT
Organization: University of Nevada, Reno



I tried to post this joke earlier in the week, with little success.  Here 
it is again:

What do you call a 6'2", 100 pound Somalian?
Moose.


-- 
	Lee Grasseschi				
	University of Nevada, Reno              
	Mackay School of Mines
Newsgroups: rec.humor,alt.best.of.internet
From: bcollins@utdallas.edu (ARLIN B COLLINS)
Subject: Re: This BELONGS here instead!!!
Organization: Univ. of Texas at Dallas
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 03:48:42 GMT

dsghelp@tamuts.tamu.edu (Dilawar Singh Grewal) writes:
>
>The following is an article posted on tamu.forsale. IMHO it belongs here.
>Anybody interested in buying a car with a million miles on it.
>**********************************************************************
>From tamsun.tamu.edu!cfeng Mon Jan 25 12:37:39 CST 1993
>Article: 809 of tamu.forsale
>From: cfeng@cs.tamu.edu (Chao Feng)
>Subject: Car for Sale
>Date: 21 Jan 1993 19:41:54 GMT
>Organization: Computer Science Department, Texas A&M University
>
>
>Hello, folks,
>   I want to sell my car to whom is looking for a reliable and cheap
>car. It is a 1980 Toyota Tercel, 2 door, 4 speed, red color, with good
>air conditionor, stereo radio and tinted windows. Milage: 1,000,500.
>The engine is great, it easily gives you
>30 miles/gal in high way. No leak problems at all, 
>except there is only a small leak for AC which needs you
>charge it a can of refregerant every summer. 
>The car has been well maintained regularly. Good condition is with
>this car. I have no problem to drive it to Houston. As I bought a new
>car, I need to sell it.
>The blue book evaluates it with $850 without
>counting AC. I'm asking for $900 or best offer.
>
><poor guys phone number delete>
>Chao
>***********************************************************************
>
    if the mileage can be verified/validated as true,
    then TOYOTA would likely pay a grand for a 
    testimonial commercial.  They actually solicited for
    500K, 1M  mileage stories a few months ago.
    Might see a dealer.......  worth a few BBQ dinners, perhaps.
-- 
 Arlin B Collins    Mon 25 Jan   Sun   Civil  Naut   Astro
 bcollins@utdallas.edu   rise:  07:27  07:01  06:31  06:01
 lat N32.9 long W096.9    set:  17:53  18:20  18:49  19:19
Newsgroups: rec.humor,rec.humor.d
From: mike@is.morgan.com (Michael Lewis)
Subject: Re: Looking for jokes.
Organization: Morgan Stanley - IS
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 19:04:25 GMT

In article <1k45b6INNnos@uwm.edu>, albion@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Craig T Manske) writes:
|> 
|> I am looking for the following types of jokes.  
|> 
|> Helen Keller jokes.
|> Racial jokes (Jewish, Polish, Black, etc...)
|> No arms no legs jokes.
|> Pickup lines.
|> 
|> The rest I think I can send out for.  Thanx alot.
|> 
|> Albion
|> albion@csd4.csd.uwm.edu

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A couple of Helen Keller jokes:  (They're so old, I can't believe I remember them)

Q: Why is Helen Keller's leg yellow?
A: Because her dog's blind too.

Q: Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?
A: So she can sing with the other one.

Q: What's a cruel trick to play on Helen Keller?
A: Put a plunger in the toilet.
A: Put sern wrap on the toilet.
A: Put her in a round room and teller her to go sit in the corner.


Newsgroups: rec.humor