HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'krikket' Krick)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: icky old men
Date: 2 Oct 92 00:06:47 GMT
Organization: The Meltdown - A Team Star BBS

In article <270nwl#.enigma@netcom.com>, enigma@netcom.com (Enigma) writes:
>In article <Bv5J4F.Ky@acsu.buffalo.edu> v130py5w@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (Renee
M 
>Sparling) writes:
>>**************************************************************************
>>unpleasant things ahead
>>**************************************************************************
>>
>>
>>Yesterday when i was walking past the garage that we live above {me and my
>>SO} the landlord asked me to come in so he could show me something. I said
>>no and he kept insisting.....i stepped in and he grabbed my arm and had that
>>"look" and tried to pull me into the dark corner. I pulled my arm free and
>>he said "I only wanted to kiss you" i said no,no,no i got to get to work and
>>ran to my car
>
>You might want to consider reporting this to the police.  Sounds like
>attempted assault to me.

Somehow I missed the origional of thie message, so I'm commenting to a reply.

DEFINATELY report this to the police, even if it wasn't an attempted assault. 
Do it, even if you live in a big city that is understaffed when it comes to
police help.  This could turn into a dangerous situation, and if you have filed
a report previously it could make a big difference in the long run.

(IE:  In the worst case if something should happen, the police would know where
to start looking, of if you should need to make a crisis call to 911, then you
will have previous reports to the police to back up your story.  Evidence like
this can make a BIG difference.)

I'm not talking as a cop, just a Security Bozo (Err, Officer) who has pulled
numerous shifts with police, and I'm merely relating what I've been told...

+--------------------------------------------------+-------------------------+
|Krikket              | krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us | USnail: 3 Danada Sq. E. !
|a.k.a Doug Krick     |NOTICE: Your Milage May Vary|   Suite 246             !
|Data # 708/665-9732  | #include<std.disclaimers>  |   Wheaton, Il 60187     !
+--------------------------------------------------+-------------------------+
|                What God wants, God gets, God help us all!                  |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 21:50:47 EDT
From: <SCG107@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: MIDTERMS

In article <1992Oct1.185826.29972@news.iastate.edu>, tyau7@isuvax.iastate.edu
(C. Marie Riggins) says:
>
>AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I agree!! I had my first midterm tonight- I HATE PHYSICS!!! But ya know,
it would have been fine if I had been getting any sleep... and I suppose
being able to study would have helped too... My life is NOT supposed to
interfere with my work... I don't really think I did badly, but not as
well as I would have liked, being a definite perfectionist. I didn't finish
the last two questions because I just couldn't do any more.
And just think.. that was my EASY midterm....
But at least I have all of asar to listen to my stress- thanks!!

Sarah
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: PKJAMES@UKCC.UKY.EDU
Subject: Re: Sleep vs. Dreams
Organization: University of Kentucky
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 13:28:22 GMT

In article <Bv9q9D.L2E@twwells.com>
anon-1002@twwells.com (scared) writes:
 
>
>Help.
>Been having some trouble sleeping.....well actually going to sleep. Maybe
>going to bed is better said. I have been going through some rough times lately
>and find myself feeling very depressed. I won't go to bed until I can't stay
>awake any longer or I have to go to work and then I can't go to bed. I know
>this isn't any good for my nerves, but it's almost like I'm punishing myself,
>like I don't deserve to go to sleep. Stupid, huh? Anyway, I finally went to
>sleep today (I'm working a stint on nights so I sleep days) about 4:30 and had
>a dream in which I was molested by a friend's mother. I've never even met this
>friend's mother! This is a really good friend who knows that I'm in healing.
>
>Anyway, so much for an hour of sleep.
>Anyone else having dream problems? Sleep problems? I'm like a little kid who
>just WON'T go to bed once I get to a certain point. After today's dream though,
>I really don't want to.
>
>
>
>--
I'm not a doctor, but from 20 years of experience with chronic
depression, your symptoms sound very chemical in nature and not so
psychological.  Persons who are chemically depressed usually find it
very difficult to go to sleep, feel tired when they're awake, and wake
up early or several times a night.  After years of psychotherapy, drugs,
treatments, you name it I finally gave up on it and just lived with it
when it hit me.  Then one day a general practioner I was seeing said why
don't you try this new antidepressant, Prozac.  I said I've tried them
all they're alwful, and he said, just try it.  Well, it worked just
fine.  My sleep returned to normal and it was just like a miracle.  If
you stay on it for very long it does tend to make you nervous.  I've
been advised it comes in liquid form, and also to take one cap every
other day if that happens.  My biggest clue to when I'm getting
depressed though is when my sleep does what you describe.  You might
want to try it.  It's non-addictive, fairly safe, and doesn't make you
feel high, or dopey.  Just a thought.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: first post
From: anonymus+845@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 12:16:39 GMT
Organization: Anonymous contact service


this is my first post to this group.
I have been reading it for awhile.  I apprectiate
it being here.

I am just now coming to terms with an abuse that
happened when I was 6yr-9ys.  I am now almost
45, suddenly divorced, kids all grown- an empty
house- I guess that is why all of a sudden these
things are really getting to me- I was married
for 22 yrs-  It is very hard just to "take care
of myself"

Does anyone else have the problem with relationships
that I have:   I tend to be very trusting when someone
starts dating me and after a few dates when sexual 
relationships start-  I assume that the person must
care about me and really like me (that's how I justify
sex- so I won't have to think of it as anything but
nice) when I find that the man doesn't really seem to
care all that much (for instance - he is also dating
and having sex with someone else)  I get very hurt-
hate myself- think that something is wrong with me
or the relationship would have worked.

I would like your opinions- but please no flames-
I just don't have the energy or the self-esteem
right now to cope with rejection  :-) sorry!
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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: bob@reed.edu (Robert Ankeney)
Subject: Back to therapy
Organization: Reed College, Portland, OR
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 19:05:59 GMT


     Yesterday I reentered therapy.  But this time, I have a new focus.
I am looking for ways to move on with life.  And start doing for myself
the things I always wanted to do.  And hopefully not feel like my past
is such an anchor holding be back.  My new therapist has retired three
times, and can't seem to stay retired.  She's in her eighties, and has
had 10+ years of work with survivors.  She takes a behavioral approach
and believes it is possible to continue life without the abuse being a
constant problem.
     One scary thing is she wants me off medication.  I've been on
imipramine for almost a year now, but she thinks I should be able to
cope without it.  So last night I discontinued it.  I'll see how I do.
I've never been certain how much if any it's been useful, but I suspect
it's helped a lot with reducing the severity of my flashbacks.  Should
that be a problem, she's open to my restarting.
     Anyway, I'm optimistic.  I have several abuse-related issues to
work on and intend to do that.  But I also want to work on breaking the
binds that have kept me from doing the things I want to do.  Finally
deciding to allow myself to learn to play the piano was difficult, but
I'm enjoying it immensely.  Part of the problem was a fear of failure
and a fear it would get taken away from me or broken if I liked it.
Getting past those fears was difficult.  And they're the same fears
that have kept me from doing a lot of other things.
     I noticed Goldberry mentioned wanting to paint.  So do I!  (By
the way, welcome back, Goldberry!)  I've allowed myself to try it
only once, and I've tried a few drawings with colored pencil.  Though
I enjoyed it, I haven't tried it since.  And I want to do that, too.
Also I want to overcome my fear of water and learn to swim.  Discovering
why I had that fear has helped.  (My mother on a couple of occasions
tried to drown me as a child).  Knowing that makes me able to at least
think that I can swim and enjoy it.
     Anyway, it's a new start.  And it's both scary and hopeful for me.

     Take care, all.
     Robert
From: mcmorris@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (brandywine)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: my post on cult abuse
Date: 2 Oct 92 21:59:12 GMT
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center

I am sorry you aren't going to be reading this ed... perhaps I will
send it to you... but it is a point I think needs to be made

Here at ASAR, we are NOT a crosssection of america. we are educated
beyound the 3rd grade level, if not all formally. we are seeking to
overcome the effects of the abuse... we are trying... and that is
hard.

Perhaps you are right about the opinions of some members of this
group... the 100% right wrong no greys mentality.... but not all...
you accused me of this... and we all go thru that stage it is true...
in your eyes....

but I didn't... I always understood that my perp's had pain... that my
parents were weak and had reasons for their weaknesses. THE POINT IS
NOTHING WILL EVER EXCUSE OR EXPLAIN WHAT THEY DID

and that ain't ever going to change... I am a little tired of being
the understanding one.....

I am not sure I made my point... but I will let it stand...



*****************************************************************
"And I feel it like a sickness how this love is killing me
 but I walk into the fingers of your fire willingly
 and dance the edge of sanity, I've never been this close
 in love with your ghost...."

-_Ghost
The Indigo Girls
*****************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: Started Martial Arts
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 19:54:42 GMT

Tim Guay (guay@fraser.sfu.ca) wrote:

: I started training in Hapkido a few weeks ago, both to get my butt into shape
: and feel safer. For those who don't know, hapkido is a Korean martial art that
: is entirely self-defense oriented (no competitions, no forms) It can best be
: described as a cross between Ju Jitsu and TaiKwonDo. The training is tough, in
: the 'old country' style and has left me feeling demoralized and in a victim
: mode, despairing at ever learning self-defense. Being out of shape and     
: uncoordinated is only part of the problem. The big problem is that I'm too
: passive and have zero confidence in my ability to actually learn this stuff.
: 
: Has anybody out there tried to learn a martial art, and how did you cope?

Being from the "old school" myself, I can understand where you are.  The purpose
of the training is to take away all outer forms of support, so that you can
find that support within yourself and develop that self-assurance and self-
confidence within yourself without having to rely on those around you for
approval or acceptance.  On the street, you're not going to find it, and if
you look for it in the middle of a fight, I guarantee you you're going to
lose.

Persevere.  If your instructor didn't think you had what it takes, you'd
be told to leave.
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG     erc@apple.com                801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
From: anon-1267@twwells.com (Brian)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Abuse and Homosexuality
Date: 6 Oct 92 02:12:10 GMT
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

They say it's generally a good idea to read a newsgroup for a
couple of months before posting.  I'm violating that suggestion;
I haven't been here long.  If the subject of my post is 1) not
germane to what's typically discussed here, 2) irritating to you
(for reasons that will be clear shortly) or 3) similar or identical
to something that you've seen dealt with often enough in the past
that you're sick of it, please feel free to either ignore this or
tell me I should stop typing and be quiet.  

The subject line says "Abuse and Homosexuality".  I'm more
concerned about the latter than the former.

Was I abused?  Sure.  I was 10; he was a 16-yr-old neighbor. 
Things could've been a lot worse than they were.  I don't
remember how long it went on; it probably lasted only two or
three months.  I don't think this is a big problem in my life;
it happened 18 years ago.  It isn't something I think about a
lot. I honestly can't say whether or not it has any effect on
who I am today.  But.  There are some things in my life which may
or may not be related to it.  The most important one is Part II of
the title above.
  
I'm basically, mostly, gay.  And _that_ is why I'm posting this
anonymously.  I am not exactly intending to "blame" this on the
neighbor guy...some of you reading this will no doubt reject that
notion in its entirety, since you believe one's sexuality is
biologically, rather than environmentally, determined.  Still,
there is a correlation between abuse and gayness.  The casuality is
another question. Like I said, I'm not trying to say this is the
only reason I'm this way.

So why am I throwing this out for 15,000 people to read?  Be-
cause I don't want to be gay.  I'm not 100%, but I'm real close
(maybe 80-90%).  To some of you, this may sound like tragicomic
tripe.  That's ok.  If so, just disregard.  But I thought there
might be others like me reading this newsgroup. If so, and if you
have any ideas at all that might help, please let me know.  Even if
you're willing to just talk about this, please e-mail something
off.  I'd like to communicate with someone who knows what this is
like.



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From: cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (cloister bell)
Subject: Re: um, so much for mourning...
Organization: University of Washington
Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 20:00:14 GMT

dyer@spdcc.com (Steve Dyer) writes:

>In article <1992Oct2.232529.2287@u.washington.edu> cloister@stein.u.washington.edu (Jason Black) writes:
>>so what are we *supposed* to say?  this sort of thing leaves me at a loss for
>>words.  

>Exacty what you've said in the rest of your article.  Eloquence is never an
>issue at a time like this.  Hearing nothing (even allowing for the typical
>excuse of not knowing what to say) is terribly painful to those who are left
>with their grief, and even the smallest expression of sympathy or concern
>matters a lot.

well, perhaps it just wasn't *time* yet.  it often takes me a while to figure
out what i *am* feeling.  this is one of those times.
-- 
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
|tactical nuclear sdi stealth nsafood signature.  | cloister@u.washington.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------+---------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1201@twwells.com (Jasmyne)
Subject: to Georges:anon-1262
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 03:14:15 GMT
X-Email-Accepted: yes
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

if you want me to write you via email you have to turn on your email...
any responce i give bounces back.
Jasmyne



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anonymus+845@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu
Subject: lost the message
Organization: Anonymous contact service
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 18:13:24 GMT

can someone help me?  I was reading a post where
someone was talking about going to a Bradshaw
workshop- and was up to the point where they
were telling about the things they like about
the workshop- when I was interupted and accidently
quite - that was the last article and I never got
to finish it- would someone send it to me?

Thank you

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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: why am I confused?
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 21:32:30 GMT

Nancy Lebovitz (nancy@genie.slhs.udel.edu) wrote:

: Also, if you're Americans, you've both grown up in a culture where it's
: assumed that _normal_ people want sex all the time, and it's very 
: important to be _normal_. (I know that there's also anti-sexual condition-
: ing.) 

That's changing.  It's now assumed that men want sex all the time, and women
never want sex.  I've heard too many women complaining that men want it all the
time, and they rarely (if ever) want it - but it could be that most men are
horrible lovers.  Also, there's the communications thing to think about, too -
"if I say I want to be held, he's going to want sex, and that's not what I
want right now."  "She says she wants to be held, but she'll want sex, too."
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG     erc@apple.com                801/538-0177
"This is the final task I will ever give you, and it  goes  on  forever.   Act
happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love,
and do what you will."           -- Dan Millman, "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: bob@reed.edu (Robert Ankeney)
Subject: Re: Identity Crisis
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 16:11:52 GMT


     Thanks for posting, and welcome!  Your post sounds a *lot* like my
first post to this group.  Discovering the truth behind my denial has
been very painful.  I felt like an act, constantly afraid someone would
see through that act to the *real* me.  So I kept up the act, afraid to
let anyone too close, and spoiling that act.  It didn't work.  Since
then, I've been discovering the real me and uncovering the lies of my
past.  It's been hard work, but I no longer recognise the old me.  That
really was an act.  With a fake smile plastered on my face, finding
safety in puns.  And running from my past.  Since I've stopped running,
I've had to look back and face all my old pain.  But it's been so worth
the work.

     Take care and feel free to post!
     Robert

-- 
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Robert Ankeney                 | "Yield and overcome.                |
...!tektronix!reed!bob         |  Bend and be straight.              |
...!tektronix!bob@reed.EDU     |  Empty and be full."    - Lao Tzu   |
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: blaze@westmark.Stanford.EDU (Suki)
Subject: Re: I think it's progress
Organization: Stanford University
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 21:26:52 GMT

Susan,

	I think it's incredible that you had the strength to stand up
to this jerk, and not let him get away with the abuse.  In standing up
to him you arn't letting him continue the pattern, and place you in the
roll of victim.  Congradulations! and give yourself a pat on the back!

Kudos
		-Suki

-- 
	>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Suki<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
		    blaze@westmark.stanford.edu  or
		 anonymus+284@godiva.nectar.cs.cmu.edu.
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: anon-1159@twwells.com (Kristian)
Subject: PAUL  (PKJAMES) from Kristian
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 18:15:10 GMT
X-Email-Accepted: yes
Organization: Anonymous Posting Service at twwells.com

Paul, I  tried  to e-mail you following your post last week, but
received this message from our postmaster:
"Your message could not be delivered to: 

    pkjames@ukcc.uky.edu

Your message has been enqueued and undeliverable for 3 days.
The mail system will continue to try to deliver your message
for an additional 9 days."

I have kept a copy of my message and can retransmit it if you are
able to receive it now.
    "Kristian"



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Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
From: stote@tomcat.den.mmc.com (M. Stote)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Re: Nancy able to love herself : )
Keywords: STRONG EMOTION ALERT!!!!
Date: 2 Oct 92 19:37:32 GMT
Organization: Martin Marietta Astronautics Group


Yeah I know what you mean.  I too over the past month or so am finally able
to begin to love myself.  With me its my teenage child that who's been able
to start feeling loved.  Its real hard for me to get in touch with the younger
one.  

A great big hug !!!   alllllriggghhht !
When I hear any of you guys talking about how good it feels it really gives
me a lift !!

btw my hand is definitely raised.  I don't even shave in front of a mirror
!!! I just realized that, and that its cause I don't want to look at myself
- I just told myself its cause its faster to shave in teh shower!  
Well guess where I'm gonna shave from now on :)

--
Fare Well :)
Mike Stoughton
stote@den.mmc.com
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