HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: zlsiida@fs1.mcc.ac.uk (dave budd)
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
Subject: Re: British sitcom list
Summary: none
Keywords: none
Date: 22 Jul 92 09:31:46 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre
Originator: netnews@uts.mcc.ac.uk

In article <sooz.711478268@vincent1.iastate.edu> sooz@iastate.edu (Susan F Bradley) writes:

>Concerning the list of British sitcoms which appeared a day or two ago - I 
>think the list maker forgot Emmerdale Farm :-) At least the Swedes seemed to
>think it was a comedy. I spent several months as an au pair in southern Sweden
>a few years ago and the following appeared in the TV listings in the local 
>paper one day:
>         Hem paa gaardet (transl: home on the farm) engelsk komedie serie.
>Well, I racked my brain trying to remember a comedy series which could be 
>titled "Home on the Farm" but couldn't think of one, so I plopped myself down 
>in front of the TV that evening to find out. Yep -- it was Emmerdale Farm!

>Sooz Bradley
>sooz@iastate.edu

you think I'm going to put emmerdale in because of the opinion of a 
vegetable closely related to the mangel wurzel? tsk!

+--Great Quotes of our Time-------------------------------------------+
|        You should never have a hobby that eats                      |
+--------------------------------------Amarillo Slim Preston----------+          
|  Dave Budd, MCC, Oxford Rd, Manchester, England  (44)061-275-6033   |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: KSTE@vm.cc.purdue.edu (Kerry Stephenson)
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
Subject: Re: Blackadder Christmas Carol (long)
Date: 22 Jul 92 07:57:13 GMT
Organization: Purdue University

In article <14drsvINN36r@darkstar.UCSC.EDU>
hermit@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (Ron O'Dell) writes:
 
>>>>Prince:  Absolutely, as long as it's not that terribly depressing one about
>>>>      the chap who gets born on Christmas Day, shoots his mouth off about
>>>>      everything under the sun, and then comes [a crop up?] with a couple
>>>>      of rum coves on top of a [hailing Johnny arumlan?].
 
    I believe what we're looking for here is "a hill in jolly
    Arab land."  But I could be wrong.
 
                                      --KSTE
 
PS:  Is there any way I can subscribe directly to this list
     without having to read it off of the NETNEWS?  When I
     try to reply, the thing won't allow it unless I add more
     text than I am replying to (aren't they clever?)
 
 Help!
 
Xref: sparky alt.comedy.british:1601 rec.arts.tv.uk:4408
From: morris@hssiarl.uucp (Morris Forbes)
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british,rec.arts.tv.uk
Subject: The Goons
Date: 21 Jul 92 17:17:12 GMT
Organization: Hughes Simulation Systems, Inc.

Can anyone help me out - who were all of the Goons??

morris@hti.com
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
From: phz@cadence.com (Pete Zakel)
Subject: Re: AYBS and AYBS Again
Organization: Cadence Design Systems
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 18:59:53 GMT

In article <sooz.711865753@vincent1.iastate.edu> sooz@iastate.edu (Susan F Bradley) writes:
>Yeah - but what I want to know is: is AYBSA any less cheesey than the first
>one?

Are You Being Served? Again (or Grace and Favour as it is known in England) is
at least as cheesy as AYBS, and probably more so.  But it is *delightfully*
cheesy.  I love all the double and triple entendres, including the "pussy"
jokes, and watch the show whenever I get the chance.

   \_\_\_                               \
    \_   \_          \_                 /   -Pete Zakel
     \_   \_  \_\_    \_     \_\_       \
\_\_  \_\_\_ \_   \_ \_\_\_ \_   \_     /       phz@cadence.com
       \_     \_\_\_    \_   \_\_\_     \    or
        \_     \_        \_   \_        /       ..!uunet!cadence!phz
         \_      \_\_      \_   \_\_    \
Xref: sparky alt.comedy.british:1658 rec.arts.tv.uk:4626
From: andy@syma.sussex.ac.uk (Andy Clews)
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british,rec.arts.tv.uk
Subject: Re: The Goons
Date: 30 Jul 92 13:07:47 GMT
Organization: University of Sussex
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

dj@ssd.kodak.com (Dave Jones) writes:
: Interesting things happened when one of the cast members couldn't
: appear.  When Secombe couldn't appear on one occasion they recruited 
: Kenneth Connor [....]  When Milligna couldn't make it one time, Sellers
: just did his voices [...]  But when Sellers missed a show
: once, about 6 actors had to be recruited to fill in!  Obvious who had
: the talent.....

Not at all obvious. Each of the "big 3" had their own particular
talents. Milligan was the creative genius behind the Goons; he wrote
most of the scripts and thus engineered the laughs. He also added his
own brand of weirdness to the shows, even though, as an actor, I
wouldn't say he was top-league. Secombe had his own particular way of
adding sparkle to the shows - his laughter was infectious and he was
a very good ad-libber. Sellers was undoubtedly a master craftsman in
terms of comic character acting (borne out by his success in comedy
films), but to imply that the others were untalented is unfair.



-- 
Andy Clews, Computing Service, Univ. of Sussex, Brighton BN1 9QJ, England
JANET: andy@uk.ac.sussex.syma      OTHER NETWORKS: andy@syma.sussex.ac.uk
From: imc@prg.ox.ac.uk (Ian Collier)
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
Subject: Re: Bill Oddy Single
Date: 23 Jul 92 11:43:59 GMT
Organization: Oxford University Computing Laboratory, UK
X-Local-Date: Thursday, 23st July 1992 at 12:43pm BST

In article <1992Jul22.134933.1970@unix.brighton.ac.uk>, jtb2@itri.bton.ac.uk wrote:

>I was tempted to say - I'll post the words if you'll post the score -
>but I decided not to. Isn't e-mail/news an inadequate medium for
>communication.

No, I don't think it is...      :-)

\input musicnft    % By D Taupin
\input musictex    % from rsovax.ups.circe.fr in [.musictex]

\musicsize20 \hsize10cm
\def\nbinstruments{1}
\signaturegenerale1
\def\freqbarno{9999}
\debutmorceau\normal
\Notes\qu c\enotes
\barre\NOtes\qup g\enotes\notes\cu g\enotes\Notes\qu{gc}\enotes
\barre\NOTes\hup g\enotes\Notes\qu h\enotes
\barre\NOtes\qup i\enotes\notes\cu i\enotes\Notes\qu{ih}\enotes
\barre\NOTes\hup i\enotes\Notes\qu i\enotes
\barre\NOtes\hu{hg}\enotes
\barre\NOtes\hu{gf}\enotes
\barre\NOTes\wh g\enotes
\doublebarre\zsuspmorceau

\noindent\dots\ etc.
\end

Ian Collier
Ian.Collier@prg.ox.ac.uk | imc@ecs.ox.ac.uk
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
From: nik@csunb0.dcs.leeds.ac.uk (Nik Silver)
Subject: Re: AYBS and AYBS Again
Organization: School of Computer Studies, University of Leeds
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 12:22:17 GMT
X-Posted-From: csgi40.leeds.ac.uk
X-Posted-Through: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

In article <1992Jul22.224528.25540@news.unomaha.edu>, mbilunas@odin.unomaha.edu (Mary M. Bilunas) writes:
>A quick note...two PBS TV stations here in midwest have announced that
>beginning the week of July 27 ARE YOU BEING SERVED will be followed by
>ARE YOU BEING SERVED AGAIN each week (Sunday evenings). Perhaps both
>series will also be shown by other PBS stations.

I've always feared British TV getting as bad as it is in the States. Now I
know the situtaion is hopeless. Damn, I feel so ashamed.


-- 
Nik Silver                          "Now, give me the gatekey."
nik@scs.leeds.ac.uk                   "What gatekey?"
                                    "Fezzick, tear off his arms."
                                      "Oh, you mean this gatekey."
                                                   --- from The Princess Bride
From: hermit@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (Ron O\'Dell)
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
Subject: Re: Blackadder Christmas Carol (long)
Date: 24 Jul 1992 04:12:46 GMT
Organization: The Pen
Reply-To: keeper@deeptht.armory.com
NNTP-Posting-Host: ucscb.ucsc.edu


In article <sprooney.711921604@unix1.tcd.ie> sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (George McNoudal) writes:
>>Try "on top of a hill in 'johnny-arab-land'. "
>Or if you want the real version: a hill in jolly-arab-land.

No, it is not `jolly' -- there's no L sound at all.

In hopes of ending this argument:  `Johnny Arab Land' is what is in my
current version.  I never had any question about `Johnny'; it is `hill in'
and `Arab land' that aren't pronounced clearly by Mr Laurie.

-- 
--- keeper@deeptht.armory.com (Ron O'Dell)   Do >not< mail hermit!
					     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: daz@csc.liv.ac.uk (Darren Imrie)
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
Subject: Re: Blackadder Christmas Carol (long)
Date: 24 Jul 92 12:12:37 GMT
 <1992Jul17.125348.7610@vax.oxford.ac.uk> <14drsvINN36r@darkstar.UCSC.EDU>
Organization: Computer Science, Liverpool University
Nntp-Posting-User: daz

In article <14drsvINN36r@darkstar.UCSC.EDU>, hermit@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (Ron O'Dell) writes:
> 
> In article <1992Jul17.125348.7610@vax.oxford.ac.uk> wilcox@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
> >>>Prince:  Absolutely, as long as it's not that terribly depressing one about
> >>>	 the chap who gets born on Christmas Day, shoots his mouth off about
> >>>	 everything under the sun, and then comes [a crop up?] with a couple
> >>>	 of rum coves on top of a [hailing Johnny arumlan?].
> >Try "hill in Jerusalem": it helps if you know the story.....
> 
> While it's possible that what sounds like "hailin'" is "hill in" with just
> slightly odd vowel (but after such a line, such a minor flub is not so bad),
> it definitely is >not< followed by "Jerusalem."
> 
> -- 
> --- keeper@deeptht.armory.com (Ron O'Dell)   Do >not< mail hermit!
> 					     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think it's: `...on top of a hill in Johnny Arab land'.  Johnny Arab land is a term used for Middle East countries.
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british,rec.arts.tv.uk
From: dj@ssd.kodak.com (Dave Jones)
Subject: Re: The Goons
Organization: :noitazinagrO
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 92 13:41:20 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.000436.25011@rdg.dec.com> winalski@adserv.enet.dec.com (Paul S. Winalski) writes:
>
>In article <1992Jul21.171712.19398@hssiarl.uucp>,
>morris@hssiarl.uucp (Morris Forbes) writes:
>|>
>|>Can anyone help me out - who were all of the Goons??
>
>Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers, and, originally Michael Bentine.
>Wallace Greenslade was the announcer.  Ray Ellington (whose quartet provided
>one of the musical interludes each week) did a few bit parts here and there.
>Valentine Dyall, John Snagge, and others had guest appearances occasionally.
>
>--PSW

Max Geldray, a jazz harmonica player, provided the other musical
interlude but rarely spoke.

Milligna wrote most of the scripts but occasional ones were written by
others: Maurice Wilshire for one.

John Snagge was the nearest thing to a '90s News Anchor in England of the
'50s.  His was one of the best known voices in the country, and he had
sufficient clout to keep the Goon Show on the air despite the efforts of
some of the BBC top brass to kill it.

Interesting things happened when one of the cast members couldn't
appear.  When Secombe couldn't appear on one occasion they recruited 
Kenneth Connor of the Carry On films to play the Fool (which was the
essence of the Neddy Seagoon character).  When Milligna couldn't make
it one time, Sellers just did his voices and nobody outside the theatre
noticed until the credits were read.  But when Sellers missed a show
once, about 6 actors had to be recruited to fill in!  Obvious who had
the talent.....


-- 
||))) If you build it                          )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))|
||))) They will cancel it   - Field of Dweebs. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))|
||))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))|
||Dave Jones (dj@ekcolor.ssd.kodak.com) | Eastman Kodak Co. Rochester, NY   |
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
From: winalski@adserv.enet.dec.com (Paul S. Winalski)
Subject: Re: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Reply-To: winalski@adserv.enet.dec.com (Paul S. Winalski)
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation, Nashua NH
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 15:28:10 GMT


In article <Brsns8.q1@news.larc.nasa.gov>,
avik@icase.edu (Avik Banerjee) writes:
|>
|>greetings,
|>	does anyone know where i can obtain a copy of HHGTTG in
|>	the united states? thanks for you help.
|>
Be more specific.  In which format?  The original radio shows?  On cassette
or CD?  The TV series?  The books?

--PSW
From: pm3_norr@csd.brispoly.ac.uk (Paul Norris)
Newsgroups: alt.comedy.british
Subject: Re: Wanted! Name of kids prog!!
Date: 28 Jul 92 15:57:19 GMT
Organization: Bristol Polytechnic, England

In article <1992Jul27.165450.6450@gdr.bath.ac.uk> enpnjat@gdr.bath.ac.uk (N J A Thorne) writes:

}The prog. I'm thinking of was done very much in the Pugwash 
}style (same cartoonist?) but took place in a medieval castle.

Sounds suspiciously like "Sir Prancelot" to me and you're right it
was ny the same people.

Paul

-- 
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
                                            --  Charlie Brown
Newsgroups: alt.suburbs,alt.planning.urban
From: apearlma@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Andrew Pearlman)
Subject: Beachfront
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1992 20:12:41 GMT



By Andy Pearlman
Copyright 1992


                               Beachfront



     The beachfront property was worth millions of dollars.  Palm trees across
the lawn, black marble lawn chairs.  The house was in a neo-futurist style, 
with rusted steel for bones.  The owner was a recluse, having earned his money
in the stock trade and having gotten out.

     Windows were decorated with a sheen of water from the morning rain.
The sunrise turned the house into a blazing red monument to the architect.
Shadows twisted behind the house, marking the time.

     The beach in front of the house was nominally private.  It was rented out
to photographers, shooting models in the sun.  Occasionally set up for the
latest beer and volleyball commercial.  Women with impossible figures in the
currently fashionable bikini.  Men who had the stone cut jaw and muscles to
match.

     In one of the chairs, the owner would come out with a glass of lemonade.
He would watch the perfection of body unfolding into a commercial.  The
drink untouched, the day would go by.  The owner was in his mid-forties with
a once-broken nose adding character to an otherwise unremarkable face.  Finally
at the end of the shoot, he walked back into his house.

     The ritual continued for ten years.  A model named Clarisse walked up
to him one day during the lunch break, salad in hand.  Her hand picked at
the leaves while she walked up to the house.  Sunlight burning into her fair
skin, her blond hair a crown of gold.

     She said, "Why do you watch us every day?"
     He took a drink out of the lemonade and smiled at her.  Emboldened, she
sat down in the marble chair next to him, the stone surprisingly cool to the
touch.
     He said, "To know when to die."
     She said, "Die?"
     He held up the glass and showed it to her.  His face shook, arm muscles
convulsed.  The lemonade fell to the hard ground and shattered.  He fell back
into the chair and didn't move.

     Clarisse Hetfield is a waitress in a run-down restaurant on the strip
near the beach.  Her eyes perpetually red from drink, shoulders slumped, her
name written out in scarlet threat on her blouse.  Blond hair tangled, body
grown soft from neglect.  She remembers the stars in her eyes, all burnt out
now.  Her face twitches when a customer orders lemonade, her hand shakes.

     At nights she walks over to the rusted house, sits on the black marble
chair, and watches the moon in the sky.  Cheap bottle of vodka in hand, she
tries to blot out her memories.  It never quite works.

Newsgroups: alt.prose
From: rauser@fraser.sfu.ca (Richard John Rauser)
Subject: Contact 1-3 reposted
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 01:01:50 GMT


    For the sake of refuting some mistaken criticisms that have appeared
on alt.prose (and in my mailbox), Contact 1-3 has been reposted. Anyone who
cares enough can compare the story to the critique. I'm saying out of it.

--
Richard J. Rauser        "Sonic 2!"
rauser@sfu.ca                 -what Guile says
WNI
From: jpg@bnr.co.uk (Jonathan P. Gibbons)
Newsgroups: alt.prose
Subject: battle clip 1
Date: 30 Jul 92 09:27:06 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Rd, Harlow, Essex, CM19 9NA, U.K.

It comes from a game, the Horete Vendetta.....
Jonathan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


The battle group patrolled the space lanes; two battle cruisers and a single
scout in close formation.  Passive scans waiting for any sign of the enemy, 
never engaging Null drives or sending out active scan pulses.  Silent running.
Invisible to the enemy.

Three Null jump co-ordinates appeared on the passive scanners. The Battle
group went to full readiness, turning as one towards the source.  The scout 
vanished into Null jump.  Its objective to determine the strength and the 
target codes of the invaders. The two remaining Battle Cruisers continued to 
run silently, orienting  themselves in real space for the coming encounter.

A convoy distress signal flared near the enemies location.  The signal
containing the attackers target codes.  Seconds later the scouts reports came 
in - confirming target codes and the latest co-ordinates.  The scout had 
suffered damage though and was disengaging.  Another convoy distress signal 
lit up and the order was given. Both Battle Cruisers sounded battle stations 
and ran weapons checks for a last time.  Their Null drives were engaged and
both ships vanished into Null jump to meet the invader.


--
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  With fearsome eyes and fiery breath the dragon burnt the girl to death
                    -- from "Too Late Saint George"
Newsgroups: alt.prose
From: rmr@sgi.com (selfish meme)
Newsgroups: alt.prose
Subject: Re: In Defense of Contact [was Re: Contact (1-3)]
Date: 28 Jul 92 17:54:47 GMT
Organization: the atrocity exhibition


I'm glad to (finally) see some discussion of a story,
but could you move the thread to alt.prose.d?  That's
where discussions of stories posted to alt.prose
(and any other discussions, for that matter) really
belong.


			Thanks,

			Robert.
From: rauser@fraser.sfu.ca (Richard John Rauser)
Subject: The "Bad Two" reposted
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 05:40:13 GMT



    Upon request from a reader of alt.prose, the "bad two" have
been reposted...the two stories that resulted in my offical banishment
from alt.good.news. The stories are "Danielle" and "Smells Like Free
Spirit." The first examines the role of a victimized woman in modern
society, using a very surrealistic structure. The second concerns a 
religious martyr who accepts execution rather than renounce his country
or his faith. 

     Unfortunately, the deadheads on alt.good.news saw two things: RAPE
(in Danielle) and EXECUTION (in Free Spirit). Seeing as how Dave Sill
is capable of speaking only in short, one word sentences, it is not that
surprising that the meaning of the stories completely escaped him. 

     I wish to thank all those on alt.good.news (there's lots of you) who
have opposed this ridiculous, heavy-handed action on Sill's part (who
then went on to proclaim what a tough net.cop he was) and have given
me support. 

     Finally, for those who are offended by "Danielle" or "Smells Like
Free Spirit", I happily offer "The Adventures of Cuddle Bear and Fluffy
Bunny in Happy Land", in the hopes that even the anal retentive alt.good.news
readers can enjoy a work of fiction. 

 
-- 
Richard J. Rauser       "You have no idea what you're doing."
rauser@sfu.ca           "Oh, don't worry about that. We're professional 
WNI                        outlaws - we do this for a living."
--------
BANNED from alt.good.news! Censorship is alive and well on Usenet!
From: bob_v1@verifone.com
Newsgroups: alt.prose
Subject: <None>
Date: 20 Jul 92 18:34:37 -1000
Organization: VeriFone Inc., Honolulu HI

THIS IS A TEST!
From: duck@pembvax1.pembroke.edu
Newsgroups: alt.prose
Subject: A *SMALL* Story
Date: 30 Jul 92 03:36:15 GMT
Organization: Pembroke State University


  Terry looked up, afraid he might see the sun obscured and the "wooshing"
sound of the air being compressed before he died.  He sighed, though, relieved
- it was just a speck flying high in the air overhead that had momentarily
blocked out the sun - a bird.
  He proceeded on, pausing to find the best way around an out-cropping of
weeds. He had been walking for about two days now and his legs were tired, his
back burned from exposure and his throat parched. Stopping, he looked up and
crept underneath an overhang of rock - wary from walking, tired.
  Is it worth it? Deserting his friends like this just because of her?
  Yes he reminded himself - she's the one for me.
  Still his mind mused over the validity of the argument raging inside his head
- STOP IT!! he mentally screamed, throwing his hands to his head, as if to
purge the tainted thoughts within.
  Kicking sand as he got up, he started walking again angry at himself as he
had dragged this argument within himself for the last 10 miles.
  The air suddenly became thicker and thicker and Terry looked up, afraid yet
knowing what was above as the light became obscured.

------

  Mr. Peter Thalk of 120 Waters Street never knew he had inadvertantly killed
an ant that would have given the colony of ant's over the world the ant's
version of Romeo.

-- 

- Craig Taylor   || Standard Disclaimer Applies (of course!)
duck@pembvax1.pembroke.edu (Pembroke State University)

"I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to
die in."
		-- George McGovern
From: blewis@eniac.seas.upenn.edu (Benn L. Lewis)
Newsgroups: alt.prose
Subject: Re: 100 Words
Date: 27 Jul 92 16:14:25 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania


	Whhewwee!  That was a good one.  I mean, I need another...Cat in the Hat another time Green Eggs and Ham and the Butter Wars and I neeeeeed more, Nowww.  Yeah man, that was so smooth that my toung is flaccid.  It all started when I was a kid-You should never ever give your 9 year old offspring OTC sleeping pills.  My dealer is out of hardbacks and last week he sold his last special edition of the Dr. Suess complete anthology and I've got paper cuts all over my arms and Now I'm GONna have to papercut under



 my toenails. 

BENN!
From: k.c..bennett@madness.network23.com (K.C. Bennett) 
Newsgroups: alt.prose
Subject: QUESTION...
Date: 26 Jul 92 22:33:00 GMT
Distribution: world
Organization: Terminal Madness BBS - Newport, RI - 401-848-9069
Reply-To: k.c..bennett@madness.network23.com (K.C. Bennett) 

        Do you know what "prose" means?  As opposed to "verse"?  Moron.
From: duck@pembvax1.pembroke.edu
Newsgroups: alt.prose
Subject: 100 Words
Date: 23 Jul 92 18:51:41 GMT
Organization: Pembroke State University


  She looked at him, beckoning with her eyes. He hesitated, the provost-marshal
on t.v. had been warning of murder / rapes by young women. Yet he looked over
her body and smiled within, dismissing his previous thought imagining what
might be possible later. 
  She smiled, seeing him won over and held the door for him, his elbow brushing
her shirt and becoming uncomfortably excited he shifted his seating trying to
calm his mind, enjoy the evening and the things yet to come. 
  Leaning over she rolled her toungue kissing him; "Ready?" He nodded. "Good,"
she grinned as the knife was raised. 
Newsgroups: alt.prose