HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: chrz@tellabs.com (Peter Chrzanowski)
Newsgroups: misc.kids,alt.kids-talk,alt.parents-teens,misc.education
Subject: Re: welfare (was: Minors right of access to contraceptives?)
Date: 16 Apr 92 17:59:59 GMT
Followup-To: misc.kids
Organization: Tellabs, Inc.

In article <shqksINNq3t@agate.berkeley.edu>, bh@anarres.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Brian Harvey) writes:
> 
> It's absolutely true that the people on welfare tend to have kids on welfare.
> should make sure that nobody starves.  That's why people are "paid to have
> children"--so that the children don't starve.
> 
> Only to people who want to blame the victims is this complicated.
> 
> P.S.  I know this is way off the original topic but I just couldn't let those
> other posts stand without comment.  Sorry.


Obviously what's simple to you doesn't seem so simple to others.

I'd be happier if the welfare began at child zero, with an increment of zero
for each additional child.  If the payment were enough to support several
children then children wouldn't starve.  Those who had zero children would,
of course, have money to spend on something else -- job training or school,
perhaps.

Assuming the taxpayers could afford such a burden.  Before you start making
sure nobody starves you've got to have the wealth to support them.
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: mwalker@taimyr (Marilyn Walker)
Subject: Seeking natural fiber maternity clothes
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 19:06:44 GMT

I am looking for a catalog that carries moderately priced, attractive, 
maternity clothes, primarily made of natural fibers.  I became very 
discouraged after looking through store racks of mostly polyester 
blends with very little selection.  In a mid-size city we have only a 
few stores that even carry maternity clothes.  Wearing polyester 
feels like dressing in a plastic bag to me, and add that to being 
pregnant during the summer....

Any suggestions, information (besides making my own clothes - I'd 
never finish before the baby came) are most welcome.
From: hwolkowi@orion.waterloo.edu (Henry Wolkowicz)
Subject: cold sores, toddler
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 15:53:26 GMT


It seems that our (18 month old) toddler has contracted cold sores. We
have had someone come into the house to help out and care for him when
we were at work, and this seems to be where he caught it. He is now
developing tiny white spots on his lips. (It seems that my wife and I
may have caught it as well.) The cold sores first symptoms are like a
severe cold with flu and sore throat. We now have to worry that he does
**not infect his eyes**. The only medication we have found is one that has
not yet been tested for infants. So we are not sure how to proceed. How
can we prevent the spread of the infection when the sores break? I
understand that yogurt might help. Are there any other strategies?
    Thanks for any help. Please e-mail answers if possible.
-- 
Henry Wolkowicz; Department of Combinatorics and Optimization;
Faculty of Math.; Univ. of Waterloo; Waterloo, Ont., Canada  N2L 3G1 
(519-888-4597 office; 746-6530 FAX; switchboard 885-1211)
{hwolkowicz@orion.uwaterloo.ca;  na.wolkowicz@na-net.ornl.gov}
From: ahelmers@umiami.ir.miami.edu
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: At what age is day care appropriate?
Date: 9 Apr 92 15:25:20 EDT
Organization: Univ of Miami IR

In article <1992Apr8.184317.16465@news.iastate.edu>, mjkugel@iastate.edu (Michael J Kugel) writes:
> I recently read of a study which concluded that women who work part
> time are the happiest.
> 
> 

Yep, that's me and that's true!  I won't claim total credit for my situation (a
VERY wonderful pro-family boss who literally changed university policy for me
gets that honor)  BUT I would have to say that this option really does give one
the best of both worlds.  I am home with my children enough to feel that I
really am giving them the benefit of a full-time loving parent and I also get
enough time spent with adults to guard against going completely bonkers from
spending all my time with my children...:)

The only downside is that I get insulted by remarks from BOTH sides on our
semiannual daycare-v-stayhome wars here on the net:  how dare you say that moms
at home are dummies?  and what the hell do you mean that working moms don't
love their kids?  :) :) :)

Ann Helmers
From: las@ai.mit.edu (Lynn Stein)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Newborn advice/anecdotes wanted
Date: 9 Apr 92 13:46:48 GMT
Reply-To: las@ai.mit.edu (Lynn Andrea Stein)
Organization: MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory

Some good friends of mine just had her first baby (one week old
tomorrow).  The mom is having a particularly rough time of it and is
getting somewhat depressed.  She has lots of `official' advice (from
MDs, nurses, books, etc.) and some informal advice (I have a 2yo and a
-2mo), but I think one thing that would be particularly helpful for
her is stories of ``I've been there'' or, even better, ``yeah, I'm
there right now/was there last week.''  I'll describe some of the
particular situation below.  If you have something comforting to say,
please email me and I'll pass it along to my friend.


One of the biggest traumas now is breastfeeding.  The mom has cracked
nipples and an engorgement problem on one side.  She has been waking
the baby to feed, although I've lately encouraged her to stop that or
to lengthen the intervals (had been every 2 hours, was 4 last night,
might not be waking her at all by now....).  She says it takes 1.5
hours to feed ``because the baby is not very interested in latching
on''; again, I'm hoping that longer periods will allow the baby's
appetite to build more.  

As of last night, the mom was seriously contemplating switching to
bottles of formula.  She says she can't stand the thought of giving up
breastfeeding, but she can't stand the thought of breastfeeding even
more.  She also says that labor was easy compared to this.  [Note:
Please don't bother to send flames about choice of feeding method.  I
will not pass severely negative comments along.]

Other issues are of course the lack of sleep and general physical
stress of having just delivered/having a newborn; plus the general
feeling of ``not wanting to screw this up'' and the implicit belief
that everyone else got the instruction manual or is otherwise better
prepared for parenthood.  On the up side, the baby seems to be a good
sleeper, so constant crying is not (yet) a problem.

Again, I think that the mom is less in need of advice (of which she
has too much, all contradictory, of course!) and more in need of
general support.  Helpful hints are always welcome, but stories of the
utter chaos that accompanied your first week(s) would probably be more
helpful at the moment.  And if we can get the mom to laugh, so much
the better!

Thanks for your help!!!!

                                          Lynn 

                                          las@ai.mit.edu

p.s.  For you repeat parents out there, is it any easier for #2?
Keeping my fingers crossed....


Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: judy@disk.uucp (Judy Meredith)
Subject: Any Grandmothers here?
Keywords: children & Grandchildren
Organization: Digital Information Systems of KY
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1992 11:40:14 GMT



I have been reading this newsgroup for awhile now and unless I missed some I
haven't noticed any Grandmothers in on this newsgroup.Hope I'm not the only
one. I would like to hear other Grandparents thoughts and ideas of their
children & Grandchildren. As for myself I am a 48 year old Grandmother that
is VERY Proud of my Grandchildren and naturally enjoy them ALOT more than
I could ever imagine. I have four Grandchildren: Jarrod age 6,Amber age 2,
Jordan-whom we lost a year ago to SIDS at 9 weeks, and the lastest-Joshua
5 months. As for myself I tend to think at times that my daughters aren't
raising my Grandchildren right,but then I STOP and think MY Mother thought
the same thing.:) So I try to back off and tell myself like me when I was 
raising them they are doing the best THEY know how just like I did.And hope-
fully learn from the mistakes I made and try NOT to make them with theirs.
I would like very much to see other Grandparents thoughts and ideas on their
goodtimes & bad times with their children and Grandchildren.At the present
time I have a daughter that has the two small boys that is going through a
Divorce and I would like to help them all through this and not make it worse
for them. Being a Mother when my Daughters hurt I hurt and being a Grand-
mother when they hurt I hurt even more! Any Thoughts or suggestions on this
from anyone would be appreciated.

Judy Meredith


judy@disk.uucp


-- 
_______________________________________________________________________
 "Don't hurry, don't worry, and don't forget to smell the flowers."
                    --- judy@disk.UUCP ---
_______________________________________________________________________
Newsgroups: misc.kids,alt.kids-talk,alt.parents-teens,misc.education
From: gilham@csl.sri.com (Fred Gilham)
Subject: Re: Minors right of access to contraceptives?
Organization: Computer Science Lab, SRI International, Menlo Park, CA.
	<1992Apr14.200059.27588@cs.wayne.edu>
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1992 00:17:31 GMT


Marissa Harrison writes:
----------------------------------------
You seem to be against the idea of handing out condomns.  This is an
issue that affects you and everyone.  Our children our contracting the
AIDS virus through sex and are passing it on or dying.  How would you
suggest that we get the situation under control, by telling them to
abstain??
----------------------------------------

First, there's no evidence that AIDS is being passed around in the
schools.  Recently there was a controversy about this, where someone
had apparently found AIDS in some schools (or HIV positive students,
or something).  I seem to remember that there were allegations of
fraud and the person resigned, but I'm not sure.  At any rate, I would
argue that the problem of AIDS does not exist in the schools at
present.

Second, even if the problem did exist (and the problem of VD has
existed for many years now apart from AIDS) it still does not justify
bypassing and undermining the relationship between children and
parents.  By handing out condoms to children whose parents don't want
it, schools are taking upon themselves parental responsibility.  Will
they deal with the pregnancies that result from failure of the condom
method?  Will they deal with the moral fallout that will result?  Of
course not.  They will be done with the kids in a couple of years --
or sooner if they drop out because they're pregnant.

I would say that any such program should only be pursued in the
context of parental involvement.  Also, I would argue that any such
program OUGHT to counsel abstinence as the preferred method of dealing
with sex for reasons both medical and emotional.
--
-Fred Gilham          gilham@csl.sri.com
From: sst@athena.mit.edu (S. Tucker)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Phone Ettiquette
Date: 15 Apr 92 00:53:17 GMT
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology

In <15156@optima.cs.arizona.edu> bweiss@cs.arizona.edu (Beth Weiss) writes:
>Presumably, you do know your spouse better than anyone else does.
>How many teenagers think mom/dad know them better than their friends?
>
>To take this one step further, what about siblings answering the phone
>when it's for another sibling?   Is it any of Susie's business which
>girl just called her brother?  Or any of Joey's business who just
>called his sister?

I support letting these decisions be made individually by Joey and
Susie.  Each has at least three options: please ask who's calling,
please don't ask who's calling, or ask if you feel like it.  I also
recommend telling them that some people (like me[*]) may find it
rude to have the answerer screen their calls unexpectedly.

S. Tucker

[*]  even though I'm one of the few people who _likes_ the use of
answering machines as call screening devices!  I'll do further
replies on this subject, including those to strom@watson.ibm.com
(Rob Strom) and davem@mcs213k.cs.umr.edu (Dave Mentis), by email,
since as Beth mentioned it isn't really a misc.kids topic.
Xref: sparky misc.kids:12714 seattle.test:53
From: wyle@bernina.ethz.ch (Mitchell Wyle)
Newsgroups: misc.kids,rec.travel.seattle.general,misc.consumer,misc.consumer.house,seattle.test
Subject: tips on living in the Seattle area
Date: 10 Apr 92 09:37:20 GMT
Reply-To: <wyle@inf.ethz.ch>
Organization: Swiss Federal Institute of Technology (ETH), Zurich, CH

Hello

We hope to move to the Seattle area and would therefore like to gather
information about it:

Could you please give us some information about:

1.  Day care and schools

2.  Parks, playgrounds, outdoor activities and sports

3.  Housing (prices for a 5 bedroom house)

4.  General cost of living (food, used car, insurance, etc.)

5.  Climate and scenery

6.  Crime

On March 5th I asked the net for information about the SF bay area and
received many replies.  If you would like a summary, don't hestitate to
mail me.
From: stb@hplb.hpl.hp.com (Stephanie Bodoff)
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 14:31:11 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: At what age is day care appropriate?
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Laboratories, Bristol, UK
Newsgroups: misc.kids

In article <1992Apr03.234858.952904@locus.com> judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom
Tyrer) write:

   I am certain that this will generate flames, but it is nonetheless how I 
   honestly feel about this topic.

   Children are not "possessions" to be enjoyed at the whim of the parent.  They
   are not "pets" who are available for lots of love and affection at the 
   convenience of the parent.  Children are human beings who demand an enormous
   amount of time, love, and affection from those who brought them into the world.
   As the child grows, they become more and more involved in the world and the
   time demands of the parent diminish.  (For example, school takes a considerable
   amount of their time, then there is scouting, sports, peers, etc.).  HOWEVER,
   the first five years of a child's life are CRUCIAL to the well being of that
   child.  The most important job a person will ever have and the biggest most
   critical responsibility a person will ever know is the care of the 0-5 YO so
   that this human being has the requisite basis for a happy, fulfilling life.

   So, finances aside, if you cannot take 5 years out of your career and whatever
   personal satisfaction that gives you to devote to the upbringing of another
   human being, then, IMO, you should rethink having children.  It is one thing
   to HAVE to work.  It is quite another to choose to work at a time when your
   children need so very much of you.  


Well, you anticipated some flames, so here goes ...

I'm getting very tired of these not so subtle intimations that parents who
use daycare are treating their children as pets. Especially from someone
who has previously admitted that she couldn't stand staying at home all day
with her children. In addition, I recall a remark to the effect that the
person who is staying at home with her children (her husband) is "straining
at the bit" to return to work with the youngest child still several years
away from going to school. I wonder what sort of unconscious message gets
sent to these kids every day. 

No, I agree with Elise, that supreme parental sacrifice, with the attendant
guilt trips that get laid on children, is not really in the child's best
interest. On the contrary, I think they might even be better off with
someone "who often doesn't speak the native language" but actually loves
caring for young children. Since neither you nor your husband really enjoys
the job of full-time childcare, maybe you should have thought twice about
having children.

Stephanie Bodoff
From: poon@hpcc01.corp.hp.com (Vivienne Poon)
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 21:11:43 GMT
Subject: Re: Starting Kindergarten
Organization: the HP Corporate notes server
From: X045KF@tamvm1.tamu.edu (Kimberly Faircloth)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Working full-time out of choice
Date: 17 Apr 92 01:43:54 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University

In article <1992Apr15.122009.18316@gvl.unisys.com>
paula@prc.unisys.com (Paula Matuszek) writes:
 
>Before we panic all the parents with toddlers :-)
>
>I have the joy of living with three counter-examples to that
>statement.  My 17-, 15-, and 13-year olds are all caring, considerate
>people who understand that I am also a person and also have needs.
>
>Most recent case in point--I worked late last night.  When I got home
>my 15-year-old son (who is on spring break, and was therefore up
>late), told me to go sit down while he made me supper, then came and
>kept me company while I ate.
>
Looking back on my teen years, I wasn't a bad kid.  I never caused my
parents the trouble that my peers were causing for their parents.  I was
very sympathetic towards my mother at that time b/c she was going through
hell with my father(even though I love them both!)  I respected their
wishes as parents and therefore, I was trusted much more than I ever
saw for any other teenager.  As I told a friend of mine "As long I did
what they asked, I could do whatever I wanted."  What an oxymoron!!!  But
it basically was true.  As long as I called them to tell them I was fine,
I was allowed to stay out later than most of my friends.  But, I credit
that to the wonderful mom that God blessed me with.  She was always there
for me.  I could tell her ANYTHING (though that's changed just a little since
I've gotten older). And I know that if ever I did something wrong, she would
be there and I wouldn't be apprehensive about telling her either.
 
 
Kimberly Faircloth                |x045kf@tamvm1.tamu.edu
Users Consultant                  |kdf8236@tamvm1.tamu.edu
Texas A&M University              |kdf8236@zeus.tamu.edu
(409) 845-8956
"But Soft!  What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick!
           and Juliet is out cold..."
From: lamping@parc.xerox.com (John Lamping)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Side effects of pregnancy (was Re: more on gestational age)
Date: 11 Apr 92 20:39:43 GMT
Organization: Xerox PARC


This is Anne Paulson posting from her husband's account (we lost our 
net feed :( ):

cathl@odin (Catherine Lyman) writes:
 
>> mylene@swanee.ee.uwa.oz.au (Mylene Pijpers) writes:
>> |> I was advised not to drive during my last 6 weeks. 
>> |> Because the pregnancy affects your reaction-time. 
>> |> This is very important when you drive a car, less important when
>> |> you ride a bicycle, but certainly something to keep in mind.
>> 
>6 weeks! What did you do? How did you get to work?

BZZT!  There are other ways of getting to work than driving.  
I've bicycled to work, carpooled, taken a taxi, swum, rowed,
taken a train, taken a subway, walked.  I have never driven to work.
I live in California too.

> (Of course, this
>reaction is colored by living in suburban California.) 
>I would imagine that an 8-month pregnant woman is safer driving
>a car than riding a bike!

Depends on the woman.  I rode my bike every day during my pregnancy,
and never drove a car. (Yes, never.  And I don't drive now either,
although I do have a driver's license now... somewhere.)  I don't think
I was unsafe at all when I was riding.  I suppose my center of gravity
was a little higher, but it happened gradually, so I didn't notice.  Like
most other pregnant cyclists I know, I switched to the mountain bike in
my second trimester because of the upright handlebars.

-- Anne Paulson
annep@momenta.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids,alt.kids-talk,alt.parents-teens,misc.education
From: rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix)
Subject: Re: Minors right of access to contraceptives?
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 92 04:00:00 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <1992Apr15.023051.28468@ddsw1.MCS.COM> zane@ddsw1.MCS.COM (Sameer Parekh) writes:
>
>	I was planning on asking people about this...
>
>	My high school I am *sure* will NEVER give out condoms.  Thus, I
>thought, maybe *I* should start such a program...  I would take donations,
>buy condoms, and make them available for people to use.. I will also mention
>failure rates and related stuff...  (And of course, safer forms of sex which
>do not involve coitus.)
>
>	What does everyone think of the idea?  (Don't worry about the
>administration yelling at me-- I can handle them--what about other factors,
>such as whether people will be willing to donate money, whether it will be
>abused, etc...)

I think it is a great idea.

Some kids will get the condoms to look at, to show-off, to play with.
Many teenagers have never met a condom up close. 

If you can save a single life it is well worth a little abuse. If you
saw a person in a burning building would you call the fire department?

It's kinda the same thing :-)

If ya need a donation to start this, send a notice when you get your
non-profit status formalized and I will send a check.

I love to hear about people who care enough to do something!

rf

>Sameer Parekh zane@ddsw1.MCS.COM zane@infopls.chi.il.us| 
>ap.3684@layout.Berkeley.EDU ___________________________/
>___________________________/ STOP The War on Rights
>Restore liberty in the United States - Vote Libertarian 1992
From: X045KF@tamvm1.tamu.edu (Kimberly Faircloth)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Working vs. Staying home
Date: 11 Apr 92 05:14:46 GMT
Organization: Texas A&M University


  First of all, I want to apologize for what was taken as a personal attack
in my follow-up for "Working full-time out of choice."  I let my emotions
take precedence over my *usually* rational reasoning this morning.  I don't
have children (go ahead and flame away that I don't know what I am talking abou
t etc and that I think things are so cut and dry).  I'm 21 and working on
finishing up my Bachelors and being certified to teach.  I have had experience
with children; so I know the idealistic ideas DON'T work.  But when it comes
to the topic of children (and I have seen all kinds), my reasoning goes out the
window b/c all I can think about is the welfare of that child.  I won't apologi
ze for that. I apologize that I didn't make myself clear on where I stand and
as a result, made totally uncalled for personal attacks.  I do want to have
children, whether that comes true or not depends upon my boyfriend, who at
this point DESPISES children (don't ask me how I could love someone like that,
I am still asking that myself *smile*).  However, the question still exists abo
ut whether I will quit teaching for a few years to be with my child or if
I'll just take the normal maternity leave and find someone who'll love my
child ALMOST as much I will. (I don\'t think anyone could love my child more
than I, just b/c of what I said earlier about having to face the fact that
I may never get  that joy that so many of you are so lucky to have in your
lives.)
 
Well, now that I have told you my whole life story...(not quite, but let's not
overdo it)...I think it's time to go to bed.  Once again, I apologize
to anyone I might have offended. Good night.
 
Kimberly Faircloth                |x045kf@tamvm1.tamu.edu
Users Consultant                  |kdf8236@tamvm1.tamu.edu
Texas A&M University              |kdf8236@zeus.tamu.edu
(409) 845-8956
"But Soft!  What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick!
           and Juliet is out cold..."