From: mreinker@nyx.cs.du.edu (matthew Reinker)
Subject: Help...?
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Keywords: ex-boyfriends
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 93 15:02:31 GMT

Disclaimer:  I'm using my current boyfriend's account to do this, and it
is my problem.  I'd rather not use my name so I'll use "Companion".

THE PROBLEM: I was home recently from college to do taxes(yuck) and went
through what little mail I have there.  Mostly bank statements but then I
got to the envelope that had been left sitting conspicuously on the piano. 
	It was a Valentine's Day card from an ex-boyfriend, to be
truthful, an ex-fiancee. He says he still is always been thinking of me,
he apologized for "whatever" he did wrong in our relationship and he said
something to the effect that he would like to get back together if I'm not
"already engaged to someone else".
	It has been over a year since I broke up with him. I decided that
I couldn't get married and skip college to become a military wife, which
he wanted.  I do want to get married, but I think it would be better after
college. Plus my parents weren't too fond of him, although this was not
the deciding factor in the break-up.
	He and I were "fooling around" but never had intercourse.  I told
him I wanted to wait until we were married, but whenevr it got hot, he
would be begging me to have sex with him. Sometimes, when I'd say no or
stop, he'd be very slow about it and then when we were apart, he'd
apologize profusely, making me feel guilty for not having sex.  I broke up
with him because I felt he was pressuring me, and I did it on the grounds
(I thought) that it would cool us off and then we'd get back together.
	The night we broke up (he also knew that I thought it would be
temporary) he went to my best friend's house and cried all on her and then
made out with her.  She confessed to me and then informed me that he had
been "sleeping around" while we had been dating!  I asked him about it,
and he said it was true, after repetedly denying it. Everyone in our small
hometown knew he was doing it while I was away at college. So I broke up
with him for good, and he immediately took another girl to bed.
	Since then, I've basically said LJBF and forgave him, plus I
developed a loving relationship here at college (a story in itself).  My
ex and I were maybe secretly engaged for a month, and told my parents a
week or two before we broke up, maybe two months all together.  I don't
want to write him off completely, but I'm afraid he's obsessed with me, he
seems to have this thing for dating a girl and getting them in bed, I
broke his record, so to speak, I'm afraid to see him again, because of
what could happen should we end up alone somewhere.
	Gals and Guys of AR, please send advice c/o :
		
		Mattre@linfield.edu
	It would be appreciated, or just post here.
P.S. Yes, my current love knows about this, he sat here to help me type it.

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