Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Different Cultures & Dating (religon = nonfactor)
From: peregrin@husc13.harvard.edu
Date: 5 Jan 93 11:04:45 EST
Organization: Harvard Business School

In article <1993Jan4.153744.1667@athena.mit.edu>, rcmarab@athena.mit.edu (He Whose Name Is Not Spoken) writes:
> I'm not sure if this belongs here, but this is something of which I've 
> always been curious...
> 
> Would people care to chronicle their experiences, if any, on interracial
> relationships?  I'm talking about everything - interactions with you/SO,
> reactions from parents, friends, etc.

	There should be a newsgroup alt.romance.inter-racial.  It's difficult
to give an answere to this in under 20 pages. :-)

My experience:  I've dated black, jewish, and korean women. I am hispanic
(chicano).  I've had three long-term relationships (1+ years) with two
black women, one which lead to marriage and divorce.  No racial issues
involved in the divorce.  My parents are "inter-racial" too.  Mother is
very fair, blond from central Texas, and my father, very dark Yaqui indian
features, inches from the Mexican Border.

The Parents (Family) Issue:  Depending on whether you value the opinions
of your family, this may or may not be an issue.  Since there are two sets
of families involved, chances are that this is an issue.  And chances are
that at least one side of the family will not be supportive.  And the true
issue is support, not approval.  I've learned that relationships that lead
to marriage benefit from the support of both families.  However it is not
essential nor required; only "benefitial".

The Friends Issue:  For the first time, both of you may see an uglier side
of your friends that you never saw before.  Luckily, my experience (and
from what I've observed of others) this is not a big deal.  No point in
having friends that are jerks anyway.

The Cultural Issue:  Actually, this isn't much different than developing
the same skills as an international traveler would have.  You stop pre-judging,
you assimilate somethings and put up with others.  This is no different with
learning to deal with another person's personal habits (toilet seat, dirty
clothes, snoring, purchasing habits, etc.).

The Expectations Issue: This is how each of you perceives your role in a
deep relationship.  I suggest you figure this one out fast.

The Environment Issue: What part of the country are you from?  What part of
the city are you from?  Learn which streets are safer to walk down together
as a couple.  I've undergone teasing and taunting from each race in some
parts of Boston.  Society is getting better, but it isn't perfect.

Well, I suggest you bring up more specific things you want to know about.

-James
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| James Peregrino                        |       peregrin@hbsstg.harvard.edu |
| Programmer/Analyst                     |       PEREGRIN@HULAW1.BITNET      | 
| Science & Technology Interest Group    +-----------------------------------+
| Harvard Business School                | "Watch This Space for More	     |
| Boston, MA 02163                       |  Information."		     |
| Voice:(617)495-6307 FAX:(617)496-5265  |  				     |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+


Newsgroups: alt.romance,alt.romance.chat