HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: John Austin <jea1@Cornell.edu>
Subject: Re: "Lost In Space" was better
X-Xxdate: Tue, 29 Sep 92 18: 15:09 GMT
Nntp-Posting-User: jea1@cornell.edu
Organization: BTI
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d9
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 17:08:04 GMT

In article <1992Sep29.142914.12420@cbnewsj.cb.att.com> maurice.burns,
mmb@cbnewsj.cb.att.com writes:
>	I would not pay much attention to this obviously confused person.
>He starts out by comparing Star Trek to Lost in Space, then throws in
>unexplained references to Eightman. For those of you who don't remember,
                           ^^^^^^^^
>he was the Doctors eighth attempt and he named him Tobor, Robot spelled 
>backwards.


Oh, puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeease.    

Eighth Man.



Sheesh.


... and it didn't really need to go to all those froups, did it? 

1234567891123456789212345678931234567894123456789512345678961234567897123456789
John Austin (jea1@cornell.edu)
Grafix 'R Us                                              Just Say No To Perot!
Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research    
123456789112345678921234.sig *still* under construction...961234567897123456789
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: rpwhites worst nightmare
Date: 27 Sep 92 06:24:39 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <6370@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>
>       Twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet.
Twenty NIS agents took turns doing handstands on vmnmdsc.nmdsc.nnmc.navy.mil


-- 
I hate the 3B2
The 3B2 can bite me.
From: mattb@ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Just wondering...
Date: 28 Sep 92 17:15:58 GMT
Reply-To: mattb@olympus.ctron.com (Matt Brown)
Distribution: talk
Organization: Cabletron Systems INc.

(Mark Schnitzius) writes:
>Can someone explain to me where they got the expression
>"shit-eating grin"?  I just don't get it.

That reminds me of a fundementally unrelated story. An officemate of mine's
parents moved to Wyoming, and they took their dogs with them.  They bought 
a ranch house on a mountainside, and were living their retirement out amid
the quiet and the beauty.

Funny thing, though.  Their dogs developed halitosis that would kill a cow.
They couldn't figure it out, because the dog's diet was the same as back
in NE.

Husband decided to follow the dogs around one day.  They ran out the door and 
down the hill to a field, and he followed.  When he caught up, both dogs 
were muzzle deep in a clump of weeds, munching like crazy.  He looked in.

They were chowing down on elk shit.

Gee. Maybe that was related after all.

Matt
Her parents thereafter only let the dogs lick the face of people they
didn't like very much.
From: schin@acs.bu.edu (neil schier)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Nothing else seems to work so here goes!!
Date: 27 Sep 92 22:38:07 GMT
Organization: Boston University, Boston, MA, USA
Originator: schin@acs.bu.edu

Hello


I have been trying with absolutely zero success to find the recent whereabouts
of Vanessa Southern (Stanford '90) and Sarah Roff (Yale '90) I have tried
the alumni association on both campuses, alt.misc.personal and the other 
relevant bboards. 

Does anyone know these two people? If so, please let me know directly.
(617)352-7612  or e-mail
Regards
NEil Schier

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: Dealing with the Ultimate Basis of Proof and Proveability
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 02:36:50 GMT

In <1a82s9INNci@uwm.edu> markh@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Mark) writes:
>In article <1992Sep28.144956.3485@ultb.isc.rit.edu> tjg2946@ritvax.isc.rit.edu writes:
>>>pps: You post a Lightbulb joke and YOU DIE!!!!
>>What is the different between a woman and a light bulb?
>You can turn on a light bulb.
>>(ducking the death threats)
>(May I join you?)

Right.  Who's got the 12GHz horn?
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Pioneers
Date: 6 Oct 92 04:59:10 GMT
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Originator: jcarroll@ferris


In article <BvnMyL.E2w@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>, fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton) writes:
> In <1992Oct4.230018.131@news.Hawaii.Edu> rigler@galileo.ifa.hawaii.edu (80 Hours) writes:
> 
> > "A tight bunch of bastards who want to win while loving each other,
> >  if they don't destroy their knees first, or start sleeping with 
> >  each other's girlfriends."
> 
> >No, that's not right either.  Never mind.
> 
> Well, no, that sounds about right.  Except all our grilfs play ultimate too.
> 
> -- 
> ben                                     fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
>  "A tight bunch of bastards who want to win while loving each other,
>   if they don't destroy their knees first, or start sleeping with 
>   each other's girlfriends." - Rigler, about Indiana Ultimate

oh. ultimate. well, never mind... 


do they have a boomerang team at IU?
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry)
Subject: Help buy me a new car
Organization: UCLA, Computer Science Department
Date: Mon, 5 Oct 92 16:38:27 GMT


  Well, the insurance company decided to total my car, so I need to get
a replacement.  Thus, I am starting the Help John Get a New Car Fund.
I'd really like a Lexus, but I'll settle for another Prelude.  Send
your donations to:

     John Perry
     6082 Dagny circle
     Huntington Beach, CA 92647

And remember, your contribution is completely NON-tax-deductible.  

			John

(maybe if I get Sally Struthers to do a commercial for me)
-- 
v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-
    "Reality is a sandwich that I did not order."
			       Zippy the Pinhead (for president)
^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-^-v-
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams)
Subject: one-line bio...me
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 00:56:33 GMT

refers to all email as pnotes	 

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: wjm@utagraph.uta.edu (William Middleton)
Subject: yowsa
Organization: University of Texas at Arlington
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1992 21:05:38 GMT



sometimes the incricate
complexity is just too much
and i have to burp


bILL
scuze
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Self-reference
Date: 6 Oct 92 13:26:43 GMT
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Once I start editing -- no, censoring -- my writing so that only
that of the most essential nature and quality will be let through, 
it is very natural to me to edit until nothing at all gets posted.

I am only succeeding in posting this because it is 3:25am, I have 
insomnia, and I am drunk.  C'est la fucking vie.  

  vecx  -- Clifton

--
Home: cliftonr@netcom.com     +1 808 521 9073
Work: clifton_r@verifone.com  +1 808 625 3234
Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Whatever flames upon the night/Man's own resinous heart has fed." - W. B. Yeats
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pv@gagme.chi.il.us (Paul Vader)
Subject: Zen and the Art of Mouse Catching (was re: MY MOUSEY)
Summary: Another Inquiry Into Values
Originator: pv@gagme
Organization: Inline Software Creations
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 1992 23:36:03 GMT

[Just about universally loathsome story from A.D. Williams deleted]
>
>On the other hand, if three days haven't passed yet, and you can find the
>tomb they put him in, a 10 minute video could make you rich and famous.
>
>Matt
>No one expects the Rodent Inquisition

I have no reply to Matt Brown's followup post (which wasn't much better than
the original), but I like that last line for some reason. Our one weapon is
cheese. Cheese and lightning fast, whiplike tails. Aiiiiiiiiiiiigggghhhhhh!
...
Yesterday I was at a meeting in a conference room near my office. During
this meeting someone noticed a small furry creature running back and forth
by the bookcases and they yelled in a most stereotypical manner (except for
his gender anyway). You'd be amazed how fast a high-pitched scream of "Eeek!
A mouse!" can clear out a room.

I was one of two people who didn't vacate, and after we kicked the bookcase
I snagged the critter by covering it with a wastebasket as it ran by. I'll
leave out the Keystone Kops bits the other guy and I reenacted while running
under furniture and into each other (with ten people laughing on the other
side of the window) and the five unsuccessful tries before I got my lucky
shot, so I look like a mighty hunter.

With the other guy's help (do you need to know his name is Patrick? Probably
not) I slid a piece of cardboard under the wastebasket and flipped it over.
Nobody actually believed I had caught anything but I'm not taking any
chances at rabies to prove it. Anyway, after this procedure I found I had
possession of a one-inch long (not including the tail) field mouse, sitting
nervously at the bottom of the wastebasket.

This brought everybody back into the room. I showed the little guy (or
whatever; I didn't get *that* close) to them, and was surprised by some of
the suggestions of what I should do with it. For example:
- "Call security!" (Get that mouse on non-disclosure RIGHT NOW!)
- "Throw a trap in!" (we have those charming glue traps placed all over the
   building by Maintenance)
- "Take it home to your cats" (guess who's coming for dinner?)
- "Do you mind if I take that for my snake?" (Yow!)
- "Drop a manual on it" (No small threat around IBM mainframe programmers)

Some of these were said almost in the same sentence as "isn't it cute?" I
disgustedly stomped out of the room to the nearest fire door, wastebasket in
hand, and let the mouse out onto the grass. I suppose this isn't a defining
moment in my life or anything, but for the rest of the day I felt good about
my karmic bank balance. PV
-- 
Paul Vader           Systems Analyst, semi-lurker, Rollerblader,
pv@gagme.chi.il.us   ex-Zen poet, FOAF, and bleeding-heart liberal
From: rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Another flame from Starcap'n Ra   [please be advised that...]
Date: 5 Oct 92 14:52:54 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance.chat
Organization: University of Virginia


 greg@phoenix (greg Nowak) belches forth:

>
>You know, if you poke Starcap'nn Ra in the eye with a sharp stick a
>couple of times, he can actually manage to write a halfway-decent
>post.
>

You know, if you poke greg Nowak in the butt with a big dick a couple
of times, he can actually manage to achieve a halfway-decent orgasm.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: larryh@cabezon.uucp (Larry Huntley)
Subject: Re: Road safety
Organization: Logic Modeling Inc of Beaverton Oregon
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 17:30:23 GMT

In article <1992Sep25.100138.6556@aber.ac.uk> dpl@aber.ac.uk (David Philip Langstaff) writes:

>From the British Highway code booklet:
>
>     Always give way to trains.
>
>I won't argue with that.
>
    At least it wasn't a British Airways booklet.

    - Larry "Here comes the express to Swindon" Huntley
-- 
         (larryh@lmc.com)         | She made champagne out of 7-Up and
     Logic Modeling Corporation   |       cheap wine.  A chemist! 
          Beaverton,  OR          |  - "Earth To Doris" [Was (Not Was)]
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: Re: Parking
Originator: jcarroll@ferris
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 6 Oct 92 22:51:13 CDT


In article <1992Oct06.194206.8214@microsoft.com>, benth@microsoft.com (Ben) writes:
> We're going out for Thai food tonight. One of the restaraunts
> under consideration is near the Kingdome, and the other is
> near the Seattle Center. Guns N Roses, Metallica, and 
> Motorhead are playing tonight at the dome, and Morrissey
> is playing at the center.
> 
> We decided to go to the one near the center, on the 
> assumption that Smiths fans would be easier to
> bully for parking spaces than metal fans.

Bzzzt.

The right answer is, "go to the one at Loehmann's Plaza".

Bellevue housewives are far easier to bully out of parking spots
than either group. In fact, most of them are so fond of you cute
little Microsoft types that they'll voluntarily give up their parking
spaces and insist on buying you cappucino.

btw, go to the dome next time. I have a great secret parking spot up
on Yesler Ave...

Jeff Carroll
carroll@lemon.cray.com
"but how do you tell the boys from the girls?"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: CLASH
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Wed, 30 Sep 1992 17:42:58 GMT

Safe European Home:

Gooley come from Jamaica,
The Gooley can't fail,
Gooley come from Jamaic-,
The Gooley can't fail,
Gooley come from Jamaica,
The Gooley can't fail,
Gooley, Gooley, Gooley Booley, Booley,
The Gooley can't fail,
Gooley, Gooley, Gooley Booley, Booley,
Gooley can't fail,
The Gooley looped and the Gooley shoot,
The Gooley comes and,
Comes back down,
Gooley, Gooley, Gooley Booley, Booley,
Girls are coming,
Not around,
Gooley, Gooley, Gooley Booley, Booley,
Gooley can't fail,
Gooley, Gooley, Gooley Booley, Booley,
Gooley, he can't fail,
Gooley, Gooley, Gooley Booley, Booley,
Gooley can't fail.
Gooley, Gooley, Gooley Booley, Booley,
Gooley can't fail.
Gooley come from Jamaica,
The Gooley can't fail,
Elvis come and Gooley go,
No one knows where policeman go.
--
mr asynchronous                                   kschnitzius@encore.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Subject: Re: 'Bizarre events alarm students'
Reply-To: gary@sci34hub.sci.com (Gary Heston)
Organization: SCI Systems, Inc., Huntsville, Al.
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1992 01:39:10 GMT

In article <1992Sep25.143729.16776@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU (Rob Dobson) writes:
|said she saw an adult male masturbating on a staircase outside the Monroe
|Hill Residential College...the student described the offender as a white

|In an unrelated incident, a man shouting obscenities and brandishing a
|golf club chased first-year student Brenda Queen down Emmit St....

Ha! They only *think* they're unrelated!

X, the plan is working well....



-- 
Gary Heston    SCI Systems, Inc.  gary@sci34hub.sci.com   site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
"When we talk...7% of communication is conveyed by meaning of words, 38% from
intonation, 55%...takes the form of visual cues." John Walsh, Compression Labs
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: CJ's opossum
Date: 29 Sep 92 19:28:52 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
NNTP-Posting-Host: 192.26.79.24

---
kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius) writes:
|>cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio) writes:
|>Name our opossum.
|Kent.

That makes the voting overwhelmingly in favor of "Kent"
as an opossum name, with "K*nt" as a loving nickname.
(All arguments for "/dev/null" work equally well as arguments
for "Kent".)

---
c j silverio
hoping my cats don't decide to get involved
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Subject: ssc/book recommendation
Organization: UC Berkeley CS Dept.
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 02:51:09 GMT

The title of my last post was thefted from a Geoff Ryman
novella - "Love Sickness, or Living in the Pit."

To make amends I will tell you all to go out and buy it at once
- it is qooler than Jesus.  And it makes Chip Delany look like
Dr. Seuss.  Nuff said.

c
it's the first half of _The Child Garden_.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail)
Subject: Re: Safety First
Followup-To: talk.bizarre,misc.test,rec.sports
Organization: Tegra-Varityper, Inc. Billerica, MA
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 15:48:30 GMT



In article <1992Oct5.161129.23779@cs.ucla.edu> jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry) writes:


      In the past three weeks, I've recieved three injuries in three different
   sports.  For this reason, I've decided not to take up bunjee jumping at this
   time.


I just heard that they want to rename the Tobin bridge the "Stuart"
Bridge after Charles Stuart who pioneered cordless bungee jumping
there.

He was also very active in using cell phones to further racial
tensions in the city.
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: they have arrived
Date: 5 Oct 1992 00:28:14 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: adder.cs.berkeley.edu
Summary: o i am so full of hate.
Keywords: more losers

In article <1992Oct2.031033.21469@fcom.cc.utah.edu> Phil Farmer writes:
>
>from the obviously large increase in bandwith here at t.b. it has become
>evident that the newbies have arrived in force. apparently, the reason they
>did not show up sooner [...]

"They"?

c
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: H. ROSS PEROT'S HOME ADDRESS
Date: 1 Oct 92 23:58:44 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <9209291748.AA05515@quaestor> carasso@inference.com (C A R A S S O) writes:
>
>I got the following by logging into a database of tax records.  I can
>get practially anyones records, property descriptions, lawsuits,
>businesses, etc.

I wanna log into a database of tax records . . . . .

meta X enable-whine
-- 
I hate the 3B2
The 3B2 can bite me.
From: reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Question about unsolicited Internet Email.
Date: 6 Oct 92 14:28:56 GMT
Organization: Oxford University VAX 6620

In article <Bvny8C.K0t@portal.hq.videocart.com>, kdenning@portal.hq.videocart.com (Karl Denninger) writes:
> In article <6488@ac13.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@ac13.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>>crj10@phx.cam.ac.uk (Clive Jones) writes:
>>
>>>I believe the UK powers-that-be might do something about this incident soon...
>>
>>I suppose it is too much to hope for that they would take the U.K off INTERNET
>>so that people like Clive would no longer get their little feelings hurt
>>by an incident like this.
> 
> Overheard:
> 
> "snip!".  
> 
> "Heh... was that the UK fiber cable carrying the Internet feed?"
> 
> "Yeah, I think so.  Let's wait and see...."
> 
> 24 hours passes
> 
> "Must be - I don't hear as much noise now...."
> 
> :-) :-)
> 
> (Obviously, this is my personal opinion :-)

... And thank you, Karl for sharing it with us.  Why don't you
go away and brush your teeth with aspic until you can post an
interesting article containing no, none, null, zilch, zero, nought,
0, smileys.

And please, for all our sakes, have a nice day.

Jason

> --
> Karl Denninger 		Inet:  kdenning@hq.videocart.com
> VideOcart Inc.		Voice: (312) 987-5022
From: terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: direct quote
Date: 7 Oct 1992 00:41:14 GMT
Organization: Computing Something Division
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4

In article <Bvoprs.Gzu@news.cso.uiuc.edu> thoth@uiuc.edu (Ben Cox) writes:
>****'s response was "what, was there a movie called just ``Rock 'n'
>Roll High School?''  ``And it had the Ramones in it?''".

I was co-news editors with the daughter of the man who wrote Rock n Roll
High School



and she even sided with me during the ugly board of directors split.
pity she went to the bathroom and they ignored her vote.
-- 
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.   \  (414)CRUSH-13
T. Flynn's Casa de Interesting: 1755 N Cambridge Ave #306 Milwaukee WI 53202    
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mlegare@wetware.com (BoBteCh)
Subject: Re: Name cj's opossum
Organization: sulphur & oxygen
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 06:19:25 GMT

lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:

] um.
] um the opossum.


as in "What the hell is that?"  "Um, the opossum."

BoB
teCh
me wife suggested "nasty creature which is going to turn up with rabies one day"
but it doesn't SING..
From: cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: how to make ideal pioneers
Date: 29 Sep 92 01:43:20 GMT
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
NNTP-Posting-Host: eno.wpd.sgi.com

---
So, what's the point of all this faith-mangling end-prediction
stuff?  Why do the JWs do it, despite repeatedly getting it
wrong, and despite some clear scriptures about no one knowing
the day & the hour and thieves in the night and so on?  Good
question, and it has a good answer.

If the end is so near, wouldn't you rather be PREACHING, and
SAVING people?  If the end is so near, you'd have to be pretty
stupid to get MARRIED and have KIDS, right?  Single people serve
Jehovah more single-mindedly, you see.  Single people aren't
selfish.  Single people are blessed-- see all those nice
scriptures by the nice ascetic apostle Paul saying so?  (The
authentic Pauline letters are full of disturbing messages
promoting sexual abstention-- so disturbing, in fact, that later
Christians found it necessary to forge some more letters from
Paul with a more traditional sexual message.  But I digress.)

One JW book (the one my father used to call "Your Youth and
Welcome to It") warned mysteriously that masturbation would
spoil you, and you wouldn't enjoy sex in marriage.  (Yeah, I
suppose that finding out about the clitoral orgasm would tend to
make women expect more than the old in-out.)  In another lovely
passage, a married woman admits that she expected bells &
lights, but sex was actually not all that much fun.

Don't get married!  
You youth-- masturbation is ikky!  
You can't date until you're ready to get married!  
No sex outside of marriage!
Premarital sex inevitably ends in VD, pregnancy, and unhappiness!
College is BAAAAAAD.  You'll learn WORLDLY PHILOSOPHIES
    and be TEMPTED to have SEX.

I would really hate to grow up gay in a JW household.  Oh my.

At age 18, JW kids are either so frantic they get married anyway,
or the propaganda has taken.  They've repressed their sexual
energy.  And they're ready to PIONEER!  Yes, they're ready to
put on their suit & tie (demure below-the-knee skirt for the
sisters) and go knock on YOUR DOOR!  Full-time!  100 hours a 
month!

What else can they do?  Poor things.

---
c j silverio
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: sabbott@nmsu.edu (SDA)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.smouldering.dog.zone
Subject: Recollections of Lady Liberty--Interlude--
Date: 28 Sep 92 21:44:48 GMT
Organization: WHorshipers of Lady LibertY (WHoLLY)



I don't know how much longer I can hang on. If it weren't so tragic it
would be funny. I mean, when you look up there you see these big
spikes sticking out like ice picks or something, like you could just
offhandedly toss your jacket over the pointed end and it would hang
there forever, waiting for you. But when you've crawled out there to
the end (don't look down!), gripping the green shaft of that spike
with your arms and legs, you find out (too late!) that it's not like
that at all.

The thickness, the sheer girth of this spike really takes you by
surprise. It's hard to hang onto something this wide when you're
crawling out, and even at the very end you can't get your arms around
it. And if you offhandedly tossed your jacket over the pointed end, it
would be snatched away in an instant, one volley between the freezing
wind and this relentless gravity, and it would spin crazily all the
way down to land without a splash in the gray-black Atlantic.

And now I'm like that jacket, my instant spent, just waiting to fall.
I can't feel my fingers anymore, they're just too cold. My arms are
killing me from holding on. And the wind, so cold, blowing up and into
my untucked shirt. I've tried three times to swing my right foot up
and over the top of the spike, but it's just too wide. Tried and
failed three times, and I haven't the strength or even the will to try
again. Flipped over the edge by the cold wind, like a turtle on its
back with no way to right itself. The Great Lady powerless to help me.

I will let go now, secure in the knowledge that I went out on the
proverbial limb for the greater glory of Lady Liberty. I close my eyes
and smile as I cartwheel into the void. So nice to relax my arms...

<ted, the muse having not left him...>
--

"Life is like a big C program with no documentation"  - Ted Slater

	\\\\\sean/////
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre