From: ksouth@iguana.dsd.es.com (Kerri South)
Subject: Re: Juggling Work and Family -- long term effects?
Reply-To: ksouth@dsd.es.com
Organization: Evans & Sutherland Computer Corp.
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 92 21:59:18 GMT

In article <Bw8DEA.KMH@apollo.hp.com>, betsyp@apollo.hp.com (Betsy Perry) writes:
> 
> 
> In article <3411@isgtec.isgtec.com> mike@isgtec.com (Mike Sellers) writes:
> >I don't mean to suggest that Ms. Houge is wrong (obviously she and her
> >husband are doing what they have to just to get by), but I have long 

Look, I don't even think all the defensive discussion is necessary. I'm a 
woman who does not want to/could not stand to/can't afford to stay home with my
child. My husband does not want to stay home either. I believe parenting is
no more nor less the mother's responsibility than the father's. I seriously
doubt our nation can afford to have every family keep one parent at home to
care for the children. That many fewer adults working means that much less
money taken in taxes means increased federal deficit. That many fewer adults
working means no way can we compete with other nations of the world. Forcing
one parent in each family to stay home means lots and lots of talent and
people-power wasted.

Most of all, I seriously doubt our economy will ever be healthy enough again
for one-wage earning families to be able to live decently. I really doubt
that that kind of economy is self-sustaining. Okay, the post-war economy
supported stay-at-home mommies, but that was a special case kind of economy.

If my child suffers from being with a caregiver a large portion of 5 days
per week, tough. If society suffers because of the way children are parented,
then society needs to work hard at finding ways to make it easier for parents
to nurture their kids AND work full-time. How many companies offer childcare
on the premises so that parents can interact with their children several times
throughout the day. NOT MINE! The answer is not for parents to stay home 
because someone thinks THAT will lead to happier children. The answer is for
all of business and society to start taking working parents' needs seriously
and to find ways for them to successfully combine parenting and work. We can
certainly thank Pres. Bush for vetoing the family leave bill (NOT!)

Also, as a devoted feminist, I absolutely believe that women will never
achieve equality until everyone creatively seeks
to find solutions to help moms and dads combine parenting and working with
no resulting detriment to the children. Until that happens, too many people
will think of moms as the primary caregivers, too many people will blame
working moms as the culprit, too many moms will take the mommy-track because
THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE in their minds. Women will never achieve pay equity.
They will always earn less than men, so when they decide one parent should
stay at home, it will always be the woman, and people will continue to think 
that only the woman can be the primary caregiver. GIVE ME A BREAK! The vicious
cycle is obvious. The only way out that I can see if for women who want to
work to do so. I refuse to buy into today's system. I want change and I think
the world will be a better place when it happens.


-- 
Kerri South, Evans & Sutherland Computer Corporation
Design Systems Division, P.O. Box 8070, 
Salt Lake City, Utah 84108        (801) 582-5847 
INET: ksouth@dsd.es.com