From: judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer)
Subject: Re: Baby Cries in Carseat
Organization: Locus Computing Corporation, Los Angeles, California
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1992 20:52:28 GMT

In article <1992Aug28.153604.25559@nynexst.com> clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu) writes:
>In article <1992Aug25.192546.5029@porthos.cc.bellcore.com> jackie8@dasher.uucp (Jackie Brady) writes:
>>In article <1684E6B4C.CREECH@LSTC2VM.stortek.com> CREECH@LSTC2VM.stortek.com (Teresa Creech) writes:
>>>I have a friend with a 6 week old baby boy.  She called in tears last night.
>>>Seems that Charles HATES to ride in the car in his carseat.  He cried all the
>>>way home from the hospital ( 1 1/2 hours) when he was discharged.  He has
>>>cried during almost every car ride he has taken since then (including a trip
>>>from Kentucky to Flordia :^( ).
>>> 
>>
>>I know I'm going to get tons of "*you're* not a parent so you can't
>>possibly know what it's like to deal with a constantly crying baby...etc"
>>responses, but here goes anyway...  When I read of/see parents who hold
>>their babies in their laps (for *whatever* reason) it really gets to
>>me.  There are far too many stories of children in accidents getting
>>thrown right through the windshield or through the window.  Every time
>>I see it I get a sickening feeling in my stomach because the parents
>>should know better, and would have worse problems than constant crying
>>should a car hit them.
>
>  I too get a sick feeling seeing parents holding their kids on their
>  laps.  My husband works in the city emergency room and he's seen
>  kids that should not have died if they were in car seats.  He's
>  very adamant about car seats and nearly had a heart attack when
>  he heard that his mom brought our son out without a car seat.
>  He's had countless arguments with his parents who think it's
>  okay not to use a carseat, until they finally gave in.  After
>  all, it's our son they're subjecting going through the windshield.

I have friends with such a child.  They have the additional problem of having
one of their cars be a truck with little sideways jumpseats that don't hold a
carseat (but are so small the children - 5 and 2 - fit safely in them).  I have
been in the car with this child.  It is NOT easy.  

However, the parents just had the scare of their lives and have now borrowed
our carseat.  The secret is to insist and not let the screaming child out of
the car seat.  I know this is harder than it sounds.  Having once given in it
makes it even harder.

In this story, they were leaving a place the 2 YO didn't want to leave.  He
was buckled into a seat belt in the front and the door to the truck was 
locked.  However, something happened in the back seat and as the mother 
reached behind (the car was not moving) to talk to her older child, the 2 YO 
wiggled out of the seat belt, unlocked, opened the truck door and fell out 
onto the pavement.  He was wearing only a diaper and his back and leg were 
scraped badly.  

As I see it there are two problems at work here.  One is financial.  Car seats
are expensive.  We were able to solve that one for them since Mitchell is
now old enough and big enough to safely be restrained in a regular seat (with
the seat belt size adjuster in place in the van).  The second is harder and that
is convincing, in this case Dad, that the child is not safe unless he is in the
car seat.  Dad's view is, "Okay, we'll try it, but he'll scream and he doesn't
scream if he's not in a car seat so why force him".   

One would think that this recent accident would convince Dad, but he blames it
on Mom for not watching closely enough.  So I understand how people start
thinking like this.  And I agree that they're dead wrong.  But all we can do
is loan them a carseat and try to give them helpful coping hints.  Otherwise,
we end up in the middle of a marital squabble, feed animosity into the 
relationship, and risk a very good friendship that benefits all parties.  I
know it's hard, but sometimes we have to let other parents make their own 
choices.  

Anyone see any other options?
-- 
Judy Leedom Tyrer

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"	- William Blake