HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: swood@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Scott Wood - EVENSONG)
Subject: CNN does a piece on Smileys
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester MI.
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 19:45:26 GMT

I happened to have CNN on this morning as I was getting ready for
work.  I was startled to notice that they were in fact doing a news
bit that lasted for upwards on 4-5 minutes on the notorious smiley!

They spoke to a couple of people (one for Carnegie Mellon - not sure
where for the other gentleman) in regards to the significants of a
smiley in an electronic media where the faceless email message is
king.  They also went on to show a few more of the more popular
smileys including the following

	:-)	Good old smiley we all know and love
	:-(	Frowney
	*:o)	Bozo the Clown
	7:-)	Ronald Reagan
	@:-)	Smiley with a cool hair-do
	)-)	Smiley in need of a hair-cut
	B-)	Smiley wearing shades
	:-P	Phpthtphtph!!!

(forgive me if I missed any of the ones that they showed)

All in all it was an interesting little piece which I found quite
amusing but not really so enlightening since we all have known them to
be very useful from time to time.

I should warn you all however that they are going to be doing another
piece next week on the wonderful little gifs and jpgs that are
floating around on some of the more steamy binaries groups we all know
and love....

swood
	
-- 
 All Month  Rabbit and Crow are legal to hunt all month in Michigan
  Jan. 09   Opening of Michigan Canada Goose special late season
      (Southern Michigan Game Management unit only w/stamp)
         <<<<<<  Only nine months until bow season!!! >>>>>>
From: gtr0@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (GLEN TORLEIF RYEN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Occupations/Names (was interesting christian/surnames
Date: 13 Jan 93 00:39:39 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1issrdINNah@calamari.hi.com>, rogers@calamari.hi.com (Andrew Rogers)
 writes:
>Normally I'm not especially interested in foreign names that just happen
>to be meaningful in English, but I couldn't resist this:  The manager of
>Hitachi's FORTRAN development group is... Mr. Goto.
>
    I saw a really hysterical typo in my local paper a few days back.  They
were reporting on a tennis tournament somewhere that was won by a Swede named
Brent-Ove something (sorry I don't remember his last name).  By dropping that
'r' in the wrong place, they printed his name as "Bent-Over."  I'm sure he
would have really appreciated that.

Glen Ryen
Lehigh University
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: skip@rosalyn.stat.uga.edu (Skip Gundlach)
Subject: Re: Rudolf's nose is dimming
Organization: UGA Statistics Department
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 16:44:12 GMT

In article <1993Jan7.152024.21496@b30.ingr.com> mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com ( Phil Mueller ) writes:
>In article <8344@lib.tmc.edu> drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan5.194100.27704@b30.ingr.com> mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com (
>>Phil Mueller ) writes:
>>>In article <8312@lib.tmc.edu> drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez)
>>writes:
>>>>"Only fools are positive." - Moe Howard
>>>"Are you sure?"
>>I'm positive!
>"Only fools are positive."
What about cathodes? (OBJ if Rudolph's nose is electric...)
-- 
Skip Gundlach .nosig (Sorry, that's the best I could do on short
notice, and I'm not even an electrician...)
From: sh09@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (STEVEN HIGGINS)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Scientist, Physicist and an Engineer
Date: 10 Jan 93 16:12:21 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University


    The setting....
    A football field

    In one end zone....
    A Scientist, a Physicist, and an Engineer

    In the other....
    A Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Beauty

    The mediator:
    OK, now the object of this experiment is to reach the Beautiful Girl in
    the opposite end zone.  During each turn taken, you are allowed to advance
    1/2 the distance to the opposite end zone.  Do you understand?

    Engineer nods.
    Physicist nods, perplexed look on his face.
    Scientist shakes his head.

    Mediator:
    Then let us begin.  Asks first question of Engineer, who gets it right,
    and advances.  Asks Physicist another question, he gets it right, and he
    advances.  Asks Scientist, who says "what's the point, I'll never get
    there if I may only move 1/2 the distance to the goal.  That's empirically
    obvious.

    Mediator:
    Asks second question of Engineer, who gets it right, and continues on.
    Asks second question of Physicist, who says "what's the point, I've proven
    experimentally that I'll never get there if I may only move 1/2 the
    distance to the goal at a time.

    Mediator asks more questions of the Engineer, who keeps advancing.
    Finally, the mediator asks "Don't you know that you're never going to get
    to the end zone?

    Engineer:
    Well, I figure that if I keep plugging away at it I'll be able to get
    CLOSE ENOUGH!

    :-)
-- 

~Steve
sh09@lehigh.edu
From: A.M.Salt1@lut.ac.uk
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: The Blue Golf Ball Joke.
Date: 11 Jan 93 15:49:56 GMT
Reply-To: A.M.Salt1@lut.ac.uk (Honey Monster)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.


 
 When recently widowed an elderly woman decided rather than pining for her lost  one, she should go out and find herself a new life. She chose to take up golf
 and took daily lessons with the local club's instructor. She soon learned 
 which end of the stick to hold and why avoiding the sandpits was a good idea.
 It was in one of these bunkers that one day she noticed a small round blue 
 object. "What's this?" she asked her coach.
  " It's a golf ball," he replied," Some people like to play throughout the 
 winter, so they use a blue ball, which shows up better in the snow."
  As the days and weeks passed she struck up a friendship with a more
 experienced golfer. It was during one of their, now regular, rounds that she 
 asked " When winter comes, will you be playing with blue balls?"
  "No," he replied, " I'll just wear an extra pair of trousers."


 A dull joke, but then again so is the " Which side of the road is best " 
 debate, which is a bit redundant for me anyway, as a lot of the local roads are single width only.
From: georged@astro.ocis.temple.edu (MR.BREEZE)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: SEND ME Ethnic jokes
Date: 10 Jan 93 12:49:26 GMT
Organization: Temple University
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]

Dear friends, I am producing the Comparative guide for Minority/Ethnic Jokes.
Please send me all jokes you might know and I would like to ask the 
gentleman who posted "Ethnic jokes"(I think his name is DAY...or Hay/I'am sorry)to send me this list again.Please label your header as ETHNIC.
					
						Thank you
						George Dimitoglou

PS:Please don't hesitatae to send anything even if it is ooffensive.Myself,
   as a minority(Greek) find that ethnic jokes for every race or group are
   parts of its cultures' unique caracteristics....
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mleipe@bnr.ca (Mike Leipe)
Subject: Re: scientist joke list
Keywords: mathematician, physicist
Reply-To: mleipe@bnr.ca (Mike Leipe)
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd.
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 93 13:22:07 GMT

In article <randal.726793422@dapp>, randal@cs.UAlberta.CA (Randal Peters) writes:
|> jake@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Chris Jacobsen) writes:
|> 
|> >> mueller@iwf.mabp.ethz.ch (Mueller Beat) writes:
|> >>i am looking for a list which contains jokes about scientists of the
|> >>typus : 'a mathematician, an engineer and a physicist...'
|> >>zosh
|> 
|> Read this one on here a while back. Thought it was worth repeating.
|> 
|> Q. What is the worst thing about buying a Mathematician's product?
|> 
|> A. The 100 page Proof of Purchase that comes with it.
|> 
|> 

Not exactly the format you requested, but one of my faves anyway:

What's the difference between a mathematician and a physicist?

If a physicist wakes up in the middle of the night to find a fire raging
in his home, he gets up, finds a fire extinguisher, and puts the fire out.
If a mathematician wakes up in the middle of the night to find a fire
raging in his home, he gets up, finds a fire extinguisher, and goes back
to sleep, satisfied that a solution exists.

(Told to me by a mathematician in the presence of a physicist.)

MIKE

-- 
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Mike Leipe             | "This world is a comedy to those that think, a     |
| S/W Designer           |  tragedy to those that feel."                      |
| Bell-Northern Research |                              - Horace Walpole      |
| Ottawa, Canada         | ---------------------------------------------------
| (613) 765-3206         |             My opinions, not BNR's                 |
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mei141@cck.coventry.ac.uk (PH)
Subject: Re: Rudolf's nose is dimming
Organization: Coventry University
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 19:03:58 GMT

In article <1993Jan5.194100.27704@b30.ingr.com> mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com ( Phil Mueller ) writes:
>In article <8312@lib.tmc.edu> drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez) writes:
>>"Only fools are positive." - Moe Howard
>"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive"
-- 
|You have been reading a PH posting.  These opinions are not his but that of a|
|        small penguin that sits on his shoulder and talks to him             |
|         Mail him at Coventry University : mei141@uk.ac.cov.cck              |
From: Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: The door
Date: 8 Jan 93 08:22:33 GMT
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada

So... who wuzit?
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: martin@cs.curtin.edu.au (Martin Dougiamas)
Subject: Re: TV axioms
Organization: Curtin University of Technology
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 05:30:08 GMT

chenault@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Bill Chenault) writes:

>jimlynch@netcom.com (Jim Lynch) writes:
>>All-purpose TV axiom: The last 5 minutes of any tv show will tell the entire
>>story. Further, that last 5 minutes will always be the most entertaining.
>>Note: allow at least 10 minutes between the end of the show and the (half) hour
>>for commercials.

>There is one more fundamental TV axiom, that is never violated:
>The pure drivel will drive the ordinary drivel off the tv set.

Of course this is US television you're talking about.  

ObJ:
 McEnroe was asked recently whether he preferred grass or astro-turf
 to which he replied...
 
 "I don't know. I've never smoked astro-turf!"
--
Your eyes are weary from staring at the screen.  Your eyelids feel very heavy.
You feel sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. Close your
eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt
otherwise.  When you awake you will follow up this post and enthusiastically
agree with it.  Then you will send all your money to martin@cs.curtin.edu.au.
From: Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: FETLOCK
Date: 8 Jan 93 08:20:54 GMT
Organization: MIND LINK! - British Columbia, Canada

Would you be so kind as to share this obscure piece of trivia with the rest
of Western Canada (and the rest of the net)?
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rog@Ingres.COM (Roger Taranto)
Subject: Speaking of stupid commercials...
Organization: Ingres Corporation, a subsidiary of The ASK Group, Inc.
Date: 4 Jan 93 09:21:39 GMT

Have you seen the commercial for the new champagne
from Tott's called "Blanc de Noir"?  It shows a group
of people oohing and aahing over the name without a
clue as to what it means.  Are there really people
who believe that if it has a French name it must be good?

-Roger
rog@ingres.com

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gumby@spock.uucp (Danny Richman)
Subject: Re: TEST! Ignore..(Cascade)
Organization: Choate Rosemary Hall
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 22:42:42 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.214205.11275@choate.edu> dsohl@spock.uucp (Daniel Sohl) writes:
>In article <1993Jan8.174128.10060@choate.edu> kurgan@spock.uucp (Andrew Twyman) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan8.173658.9896@choate.edu> dsohl@spock.uucp (Daniel Sohl) writes:
>>>In article <8792.12049@stratus.SWDC.Stratus.COM> bruce@godzilla.swdc.stratus.com (Bruce Overby) writes:
>>>>In article <1993Jan5.182314.25897@choate.edu> ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides) writes:
>>>>>In article <1738@anon.smurf.sub.org> 328@anon.smurf.sub.org (Anonymous User 328) writes:
>>>>>>This is a test is a test is a test is a test...
>>>>>Why don't we all just give it a rest?
>>>>It seems one more moron's escaped from the nest.
>>>I think the original post was a jest.
>>Oh boy, a thread.  I think they're the best.
>Do you have something to get off your chest?
Hey, This is more than I can digest.
-- 
                                              gumby@choate.edu

 -My name's Gumby damnit! Not Gum! It's Gumby!
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com ( Phil Mueller )
Subject: Re: Rudolf's nose is dimming
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 19:41:00 GMT

In article <8312@lib.tmc.edu> drg@biomath.mda.uth.tmc.edu (David Gutierrez) writes:
>"Only fools are positive." - Moe Howard
"Are you sure?"

-- 
Phil Mueller                  Telephone:  (205) 730-3231
Intergraph Corporation        FAX number: (205) 730-3453
Mailstop: GD3000              Internet: mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com
Huntsville, AL 35894-0001     UUCP address: bogus.dont.use
From: cpsigd01@ulkyvx.louisville.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Towns Renamed, was Re: Seriously, a joke.
Date: 11 Jan 93 18:17:04 GMT
Organization: University of Louisville

In article <7JAN199315490087@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov>, scridd@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (JEFFREY RIDDLEBAUGH) writes:
> In article <1993Jan6.163329.14562@nwnexus.WA.COM>, pyotr@halcyon.com (Peter D. Hampe) writes...
>>trifid@agora.rain.com (Roadster Racewerks) writes:
>> 
>>>(People who object to such things so strongly remind me of the jerks who are
>>>re-naming a whole batch of American pioneer towns from things like "Poverty
>>>Flats" to "Mira del Mar" (200 miles from the sea) because it doesn't sound
>>>"nice" for the new developments they're pushing... The hell with history if
>>>it doesn't all happen to be "nice", and Politically Correct"!  )-:<
>> 
>>>What kind of people are we if we can't look our history in the eye, so to
>>>speak, and take from it what we need and chuckle at the rest?
>> 
>>>Suze
>> 
>>why right here in beautiful Oregon (where I no longer live due
>>to assordid reasons) there were serious proposals to rename
>>Whorehouse Meadows to Naughty Girl Meadows, and Bullshit Creek
>>to something sissyfied.
>> 
>>Of course Millersville (just N of Albany) _used_ to be 
>>Murder Creek until Immense Chemical Co with Defense Contracts
>>got a variance in the 60's.
>> 
>>Not to forget Sucker Lake.
>> 
>>chus
>>pyotr
> 
> Some Maryland Eastern Shore communities:
> 
> 	Present Name		Reputed Former Name
> 
> 	Deal Island		Devil Island
> 	Dames Quarter		Damned Quarter
> 	Rhodes Point		Rogues Point
What about Buck Snort, TN
or Bean Blossum, IN
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: a-scotth@microsoft.com (Scott Hysmith)
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Date: 12 Jan 93 03:23:34 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corp.
Distribution: usa

> >In article <1993Jan9.183537.1168@athena.mit.edu>, dmchamb@athena.mit.edu (Dawn M Chamberlain) writes:
> >> There was a family of mostly doctors who used to live down the street from me,
> >> last name Coffin - another encouraging name!  Also, some one who lives in my dorm
> >> is named Justin Payne.
> >> 
> >> Dawn Chamberlain
> >> dmchamb@athena.mit.edu

There is a dentist in the Seattle area whose sign reads simply:
 
 DENTISTRY - Dr. Pain

Also seen in the Portland area, an Oriental food restaurant named
Hung Far Low.

more later...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott Hysmith     | a-scotth@microsoft.com     | "May joy and 
5201 150th Pl. SW | raksasha@rdwarf.eskimo.com |   innocence prevail!"
Edmonds, WA 98026 |----------------------------|   - from the movie "Toys"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't think this organization really gives a wet slap about what
 I say out here, but I suppose I should make the standard disclaimer
 noises anyway...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Organization: Freshman, CIT general, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 21:15:57 -0500 
From: Jason Paul Togyer <jt3y+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
	<1993Jan9.031305.10884@pony.Ingres.COM>

>From: garrett@Ingres.COM (WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS)
>Subject: Re: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
>Date: 9 Jan 93 03:13:05 GMT

>In article <1993Jan8.112850.7152@gw.wmich.edu>, 123paszek@gw.wmich.edu
writes...
>> 
>>The scene is an autobahn somewhere in Germany.  A shiny new Mercedes is
>>driving along at a steady 100 km/h.  Suddenly, a small Mini-Cooper drives up
>>next to it.  The Mini's driver rolls down his window, and starts yelling
>>"Hey, do you know anything about the Mini?".  The annoyed Mercedes owner
>
>[stuff deleted]
>
>>"Good! Can you tell me where the hell is the second gear on this thing?"
>>
>This joke is straight from an old rock-n-roll song (different cars).
>
>>M.M.M.P. @  Western Michigan University
>> 
>-Garrett

The song is "Beep-Beep" by the Playmates, and the cars are a Nash
Rambler and a Cadillac.

("He rolled down the window, and yelled for all to hear:
("`Hey buddy, can you tell me how to get this car in second gear?'")

*******************************************************************
Jason Togyer, Civil Engineering, CMU (Carnegie Tech), Pittsburgh, Penn.
"It's broccoli, dear."
"I say it's spinach, and I say to hell with it!"
--'30s NEW YORKER cartoon caption by James Thurber
*******************************************************************
DISCLAIMER: I'm completely insane, and take no responsibility for my actions.
  For that matter, neither does any organization I'm involved in.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: nittab@aix.rpi.edu (Bhima Nitta)
Subject: Re: Left vs Right 
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 09:25:30 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.234031.17257@pony.Ingres.COM> rog@Ingres.COM (Roger Taranto) writes:
>In article <1993Jan5.230157.3691@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au> s9000289@csdvax.csd.unsw.edu.au (Cameron Hooper) writes:
>>Here is proof that it is natural to drive on the left hand side of the
>>road.
>
>And then guns were invented.  Since it is easier to fire across your
>body and most people are right-handed, if you want to shoot someone

...why is it easier to fire across the body ? I don't see any ergonomic
advantage...I have a vague memory of an explanation for driving on the right 
side, but this isn't it.

>coming from the other direction, you'd better be riding on the righthand
>side of the road.
>
>-Roger
>rog@ingres.com

Bhima <nittab@rpi.edu>





"Smile ! Tomorrow is going to be worse."

Newsgroups: rec.humor
Newsgroups: rec.folk-dancing

Does anyone know whether the dance database set up a year ago is still
functioning, and if so, how to get hold of it?  The address I have is:

	boris@uhunix.uhcc.hawaii.edu
	Boris Goldowsky

I tried it, but the mail bounced.

Susan
____________________________________________________________________________

                _              Software Engineering Systems Division
     __ ,_ _  _/_'                                            /\  /\
  ,__\'_/ ) )_/                Hewlett-Packard Company       /  \/  \/\
                               3404 E. Harmony Road, MS 7   /   /    \ \
                               Ft. Collins, CO 80525
                                                               __o
  Susan Marie Frontczak  susan@fc.sde.hp.com  (303)-229-2569   \<,
_____________________________________________________________()/ ()_________
From: sutin@ra.UCSC.EDU (Brian Sutin)
Newsgroups: rec.folk-dancing
Subject: Re: Footwear and floor wear (was Re: Footwear for dancing)
Date: 8 Jan 1993 19:06:02 GMT
Organization: Lick Observatory UCSC
NNTP-Posting-Host: ra.ucsc.edu

In article <MfHOD9q00iV041jGM5@andrew.cmu.edu> dp2p+@andrew.cmu.edu (Denys Proteau) writes:
->From: saxe@src.dec.com (Jim Saxe)
->>I forgot to mention nails.  Some kinds of shoes have the heels held in
->>with finishing nails that are driven in flush to the bottom of the
->>heel.  Flush, that is, until the heel starts wearing down faster than
->>the nails.  Also, some people like to use those little plastic things
->
->
->About 3/4 of a year ago I bought a light weight type of capezio jazz
->shoes with heels like this, and in less that 1/2 year of heavy use the
->nails started to protude.  I don't wear them anymore and am slightly
->surprized that people are recomending capezio's so highly on this
->network... Am I the only person here that this has happened to?
->   Denys

Nails are the standard method for attaching leather to soles, since both
leather and nail metal are softer than most walking surfaces.  Unfortunately
wood is harder than leather but softer than the nails, so they do not wear
down.  After the nails start to stick out, just put the inside of the shoe
over the back of a wooden chair and hammer in the nails with a countersink.

Brian Sutin				sutin@lick.ucsc.edu
Lick Observatory, UCSC			Santa Cruz, CA 95064
    Fred:   "May I rescue you?"
    Ginger: "No, thank you.  I prefer being in distress."
Newsgroups: rec.folk-dancing
From: jb@world.std.com (Joel L Breazeale)
Subject: Re: Contralab (was Re: Over-60s WSD-style Contra Dance in SF Bay Area?)
Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 08:02:58 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.180414.29971@cs.sfu.ca> dyck@cs.sfu.ca (Michael Dyck) writes:
>In article <C0IoBt.KHs@world.std.com> jb@world.std.com (Joel L Breazeale) writes:
>> I am a member of Contralab, but am not really sure if there is a
>> parallel to MWSD (Callerlab).
>
>So what *is* Contralab?  What does it do?
>
It says it is, "The International Association of Contra Callers."  The reason
you haven't (likely) heard about it is that it is mostly associated/advertised
in the Modern Western (club) Square Dance scene.  As I said, there is some par-
ticipation contemporary traditional callers (contra callers who are members of
the Country Dance and Song Society).  The Contralab callers are likely MWSD
callers who are looking into contras -- they'll likely use records instead of
live music and already have a turntable.  I'd love to see more traditional
callers help them understand live music; they do mention it and use it, but
more could be done.  I'm not really sure Contralab will openly acknowledge
an active, growing contemporary traditional dance scene -- then again, CDSS
doesn't mention them either, they are, "Aware of them."

The dues for Contralab are pretty low (can't remember -- maybe $10).

While you are at it...  You might as well check out the Lloyd Shaw Foundation --
it is interested in Traditional Western Squares.  They are also into records,
but also have some appreciation of live music.

Someday I should put together a list of organizations.  [Hey Helena, how about
LEGACY?  8-)]

--Joel
jb@world.std.com