From: hopkins@coulin.turing.ac.uk (Don Hopkins)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Stereotypes and bisexuality (wasRe: Coming out to teachers...)
Date: 12 Apr 92 15:36:29 GMT
Reply-To: hopkins@uk.ac.turing
Organization: The Turing Institute, Glasgow, Scotland.

In article <1992Apr12.001550.13799@amhux2.amherst.edu>, twpierce@amhux1.amherst.edu (Tim Pierce) writes:
|> In article <1992Apr10.174216.9178@turing.ac.uk> hopkins@uk.ac.turing writes:
|> 
|> >In high school, when some kid really wanted to insult me, he'd call me a faggot, 
|> >just because it was the worst insult he could think of. But I was *never* accused
|> >of being bisexual.
|> 
|> That's a fascinating point.  I haven't thought of that particular angle.

I with I had thought of Stella's quote back then ("Hey if you want
me to suck your dick, just ask nicely, and I might."). The guy who
teased me the most was *very* cute, and probably *very* repressed,
since he put so much time and effort into calling me a faggot. 

|> >I wonder if that was because nobody knew what it meant, or
|> >that there wasn't a nasty enough sounding word for it,
|> 
|> I'd go with the first one.  A large proportion of heterosexuals I have
|> known -- especially the homophobes -- have not made a significant
|> distinction between being bisexual and being homosexual.  Case in
|> point: one of the charming numbers on alt.flame recently claimed,
|> "There is no such thing as a bisexual. If a man fucks another man,
|> he's a fag."  (These are words from the horse's mouth, I suppose.)
|> Being bisexual _makes_ you a faggot, in their eyes.  To a certain
|> extent, I identify as a faggot for that reason.
|> 
|> Elisa sides with your second suggestion, and I think there's some
|> truth to it: "bisexual" is too clinical a word.  Now that I'm in the
|> hallowed halls of collegedom, I do hear bis occasionally referred to
|> derisively as "switch-hitters," etc.

Another thing about being accused to bisexuality is that it's 
impossible to "prove" you're not bisexual by being involved with
someone of the opposite sex. If somebody calls you gay, the
easiest rebuff is to say "that's not what my [opposite sex]-
friend thinks" (if you're lucky enough to have one). It's rare 
that someone with an opposite sex friend ever gets accused of 
being gay by someone who knows they have such an easy
come-back. So there is pressure on closeted bi's to go out 
with someone of the opposite sex just for that reason, so
they're not rejected from the social scene. I suppose there
are even closeted gays who do that. (But I was so disgusted 
with the high school social scene that I didn't mind being
rejected [well, not too much, eventually]).

So maybe it's not considered "fair play" to accuse people of
being bi, because it's "OK" to be mean to homos, but "known"
heterosexuals have no defense against being called bi, so
it's just not done. Since the only way you can disprove it is
to try it and not like it! ("Oh yeah, I'm not bi -- I slept with
Mike and I didn't enjoy it at all!" How well that would have
gone over in a high school name calling fight!)

|> >or it was verging on a 
|> >complement, or what. 
|> 
|> That's a nice thought!  There are even some monosexuals who consider
|> bisexuality to be a "better" sort of sexual orientation -- the
|> equal-opportunity sexuality, or something like that.  I imagine that
|> being considered bisexual would be a compliment to those people.

It's something to be envious of, if you believe the Woody Allan quote
(about bi's having twice the chance of finding someone). 
But based on my own personal experience, I don't believe it.

	-Don