HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: hagop@edison.seas.ucla.edu (Hagop D. Janoyan)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: communication
Date: 10 Jan 93 22:33:23 GMT
Organization: SEASnet, University of California, Los Angeles

In article <Jan.7.11.17.36.1993.25752@presto.ig.com> stuczyns@presto.ig.com (Martin Stuczynski) writes:

>If they can't even scribble a couple sentences on a card and drop it
>in a mail box are they worth keeping as friends?

Good question...

I've also tried to maintain contacts with many people I've never met before.
(ie. pen-pals)  At first, they seem so interested in writing, but eventually
they never write back, or worse, they write you two sentences after you've
spilled your guts to them.

It's the same here on the net...although I've never had the problem with the
people on this newsgroup.

I don't have an answer to your question, but from my experience, I never 
spend time writing back to people who write me crappy, short letters.  Some
people only seem interested in writing "I'm okay here, school is fine, nice
classes, don't have much more to say..."


-- 
Hagop Janoyan
hagop@seas.ucla.edu
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: dsmither@alfred.carleton.ca (Diane Smithers)
Subject: Re: Back To Work Angst
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 00:47:11 GMT

>>>In article <dsmither.726269830@cunews> dsmither@alfred.carleton.ca (Diane Smithers) writes:
>>>>I am feeling better
>>>>lately in this city I moved to (Ottawa, Canada) to begin this degree
>>>>(that can only be referred to as the City That Fun Forgot), but
>>
>>>Unlike sunny tOOson and National Lab sites (as I've read),
>>>Ottawa has the distinction of being close to Fun places.
>>>I am sure that this makes it all the worse if you can't escape.
>>>So close and yet so far (and all that).
>>
>>How do YOU cope?

>The question pre-supposes that I am coping.  To pose a rhetorical 
>question:  if I were, what would I be doing in alt.angst?

Ok.  Understood.  Although I guess in all fairness to me, I
would tend to think that people must use these groups for all
different reasons besides just fucked-up-ed-ness (e.g. 1. simple
voyeurism; 2. related to #1, to fairly dispassionately check out how
they cope relative to others (and with what), a function previously
filled by an advice column; also 3. as seems to be the case, as a target
for much unresolved nonspecific hostililty).


Diane.
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Tuesday, 12 Jan 1993 08:41:28 MST
From: <IDJMW@ASUACAD.BITNET>Jo (just me)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: General Theory of Depression
 <1isorl$los@agate.berkeley.edu> <1993Jan11.234156.17518@leland.Stanford.EDU>

the worst part is, abuse and manipulation go hand in hand. you are manipulated
into thinking that you deserve to get beat up, that when you get slapped
around that it's your fault, that you "asked for it," that you "made him"
do it. and, from a logical viewpoint, this seems to make sense. i mean, why
would you continue to be treated in such a manner otherwise, believing
at that time, of course, that people are basically decent and don't treat
each other in such a manner. part of the "problem," if you can believe
it, in growing up in a supportive loving family, you aren't prepared for
such a dysfunctional and irrational situation.

that was my mistake, i fear. trying to deal with him as a rational adult.
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: toj8j@fermi.clas.Virginia.EDU (prufrock)
Subject: Diet Coke Angst (was Re: New Year's)
Organization: University of Virginia
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 05:35:00 GMT

In article <1im23dINNjc4@uniwa.uwa.edu.au> teik@gu.uwa.edu.au (Teik Oh) writes:

> [...]   Anyway, I was working 15+ hours a day around the
>silly season mostly spent in a hot kitchen and moonlighting mucking around
>with DSPs and electric guitars and mostly getting by on Diet Coke (tm) 
>_taste of a new generation_ (at least that's how they sell the crap over
>here). Coke's actually quite good 'cos the caffeine is not at a sufficiently
>high concentration to like make you sick but just enough to take the edge off
>lethargy. [...] 

Quick RumorAngst...  Various scurrilous sources suggest that Diet Coke may
lead to sterility in males.

I don't make 'em up; I just reports 'em.

--prufrock (toj8j@virginia.edu)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: No meaning
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1993 16:44:00 GMT

In <SBATE.93Jan4091800@mary.atl.ge.com> sbate@atl.ge.com (Stephen) writes:

>In article <86112@ut-emx.uucp> llama@tramp.cc.utexas.edu (sine nomine) writes:
>> there isn't a direct correlation between suffering and nobility.
>> i admire people who know that life sucks and insist on enjoying it anyway.
                                 ^^^^ 

>Do you feel the same way about people in abusive relationships,
>dead-end jobs, self-destructive chemical dependencies, etcetera?  All
>these situations "suck". Should people just insist on enjoying them
       ^^^^^^^^^^ 
>anyway? I don't think so.

Life = situation(s)?  _I_ don't think so.  I enjoy certain aspects--situations,
if you will--of my life very much, and others not at all.  Even though most of
the situations that I might find myself in at the moment suck, the rest of them
pay for it all.

Splitting nits and picking hairs like mad,

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: ericm@microunity.com (Eric Murray)
Subject: Re: Lack-of-angst angst
Organization: MicroUnity Systems Engineering, Inc., Sunnyvale, CA
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 00:51:12 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.001833.25865@mdd.comm.mot.com> rudoff@mdd.comm.mot.com (Doug Rudoff) writes:
>
>A few days before New Year's Eve I decided to have party. About 25
>people showed up and overall it was a success. After living in Seattle
>over three years I have a good set of friends and a decent social
>life. And I've had an SO for about four weeks and things are great.
>
>So now I no longer have lack-of-social-life angst and
>lack-of-relationship angst. I do have I-hate-my-job angst (you try to
>do major editing and compiling work via modem with a computer in
>Paris. And I can accidentally create Parisian-taxi-cab-driver angst by
>sending cabs to random addresses in Paris as I test things). But
>overall, I really have nothing to complain about and I'm reasonable
>content.
>
>But I have this inkling of a feeling that all this is as sturdy as a
>house of cards waiting for any pertubation to cause collapse.

Aha!  You're discovered the "there's something wrong with my life and
I won't rest until I discover what it is" angst.

>Most of the time I don't think that way. But I still read alt.angst,
>maybe for a refuge for times past or maybe to prepare myself if things
>fall apart or maybe to read about other people's angst to remind
>myself how good things are now for me or maybe ...

Or maybe because you're not really HAPPY unless you're SUFFERING!

Have a MISERABLE DAY!


--
            Eric Murray                 ericm@microunity.com
In this game, the winner is also the loser, and the judge's decisions are final
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: machala@spdc.ti.com (King Mosher)
Subject: Re: Books & MY New Year's
Organization: Texas Instruments
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 16:34:25 GMT

bucknerb@bnr.ca (Brent Buckner) writes:

>In article <1993Jan10.210039.21088@blaze.cs.jhu.edu> callahan@biffvm.cs.jhu.edu (Paul Callahan) writes:
>>I like analogies.  I like metaphors too.  

>No, that's not it.  You like similes.  You _are_ a metaphor. :-)
 
now I'm angsting. why does everything have to be more complicated than
it actually. why have similies _AND_ metaphors? jeez, they're basically
the same thing, just one's a subset of the other. oh, well. as they say
why ask why?
--

     Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me.

Chuck Machala-Semiconductor Process and Design Center-Texas Instruments/Dallas
From: markp@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (Mark A. Pitcher)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: General Theory of Depression
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 93 12:12:57 EST
Distribution: world
Organization: darkpark

pmarlowe@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (philip marlowe) writes:

> > 	Actually, I've seen that some women make up sexual abuse
> > stories to get sympathy. After all, how can we _not_ believe
> > them? One girl I knew ALWAYS had an abuse story about a
> > previous boyfriend -- fortunately I knew the boyfriends and her
> > enough to know the BS she spewed. 
> 
>  Yeah, but it's a fine line...I mean, the "she must be making it up 
> because the perp. is such a nice guy!" attitude has lead to a LOT of 
> bullshit. Just look at Freud's similar "reasoning" behind the Electra 
> Complex...

	But in this case, I knew both parties very well. After
all, she pulled the same stunt on me (only it backfired -- ha
ha).  This is a personal story -- not a generalization. 

> 
> 
> > 	Another girl I know called every _bad_ sexual experience
> > a "rape". If she didn't enjoy sex -- she was raped. 
> 
>  Yeah, another danger, but I'd say it's the exception. Which means that 
> either you disbelieve the majority, who HAVE been assaulted, or believe 
> the liar, who's probably out to ruin a bad lay...

	The point is... Who do you believe? Should you believe
anyone? Sure it's a nice feeling to think you're sensitive
towards womens issues, but on the opposite of every story is a
man who's being persecuted. Do you REALLY think that 75% of men
are abusive towards women? 


> > 	I question anyone with such a story, which is too bad
> > because obviously some people have serious problems.
> 
>  Understandible, but not an attitude I care to take. Especially since I'm 
> not a judge, and don't have to make any earth-shattering decisions based
> upon such questionable evidence. I choose to believe with quiet, marginal 
> skepticism.


	I prefer total skepticism. Somethings not right, and I
not about to conform to the pressures of society just because
there may be a "minority" (is that the correct term?) involved.





------------------------------------------------------------------darkpark BBS
markp@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (Mark A. Pitcher)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: machala@spdc.ti.com (King Mosher)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: Lack-of-angst angst
Date: 12 Jan 93 16:10:11 GMT
Organization: Texas Instruments

parkhugj@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Gregory J Parkhurst) writes:

>I've decided that happiness is fundamentally unstable.  

_life_ is fundamentally unstable, which is about the only thing that makes it
worth living. when you are happy all the time, the happiness tends to become
presumed and you lose sight of what you actually have. until it's gone. 
it's the highs and the lows that give some perspective to your life. some 
understanding. I can chop up my life into distinctive segments when I was
a totally different person depending on the situation that presented itself.
how I dealt with each situation and its affects (e) on my psyche define _me_.
i tried to explain this to a past SO who was always bitter about me having
been previously married. i tried to explain that she probably wouldn't have
loved me if she had met me before I was married because I was a totally  
different person. it was the miserable existence I had when married that 
taught to appreciate and and strive for The Good Life [tm] (whatever that is). 
Although I have failed miserably in this endeavor... well, I guess I've have
given up. hence I'm reading alt.angst :)
--

     Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me.

Chuck Machala-Semiconductor Process and Design Center-Texas Instruments/Dallas
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: llama@tramp.cc.utexas.edu (sine nomine)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: people make my brain hurt.
Date: 6 Jan 93 04:28:29 GMT
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Rob Dobson (rwd4f@poe.acc.Virginia.EDU) wrote:

: They DO understand this instinctively, s.n. However, its just not that
: fucking easy. It requires some effort on your part. You cant just
: run away when you want, and then when you need some attention burst
: out of your bubble and expect friends to jump forward to greet you.
: Do you really expect that any friend, no matter how true would
: expect nothing from you, no effort, no support, while giving you
: as much as you need? Even a dog wont do that (but he'll come close).

hmmm. i guess what i meant was more that there are people in my life
i'm intensively involved with and sometimes the things they want from
me leave me too drained to do the things i want/need to do, and i wish
i didn't feel guilty at drawing lines and saying "this is what i need
for me, and i'll take care of you when i've taken care of me." like
right now, i'm into a labor-intensive project, and when i'm actually
doing the work i can't do anything else. but when i get done with a
section and need to unwind, it's good to have people to do it with. i
still want to be there for them, but right now i have to be a little
selfish about when i do it.

and i guess i do think that in a solid friendship you can have short
periods where one person or the other doesn't give an equal share.
it's only a problem if it turns into a habit.

--
sine | deb
"i want to believe in the terrible truth, in the beautiful lies
 i'd like to know you, but in this town i can't get arrested" -- crowded house
From: rperkins@astro.as.arizona.edu (Rachel J. Perkins)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: General Theory of Depression
Date: 11 Jan 93 15:12:38 GMT
Organization: st. alfonso's pancake breakfast

In article <Z1Z7wB2w165w@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca> pmarlowe@noncomf.tdkcs.waterloo.on.ca (philip marlowe) writes:
>> ObAngst: Every woman I've ever had more than a superficial 
>> conversation with has related a tale of sexual abuse and/or
>> rape. I think the statistic "one in three women" is, unfortunately,
>> too low. Another "image appreciated in our society" would appear
>> to be that women are punching bags.
>
> Right on! I thought that *I* was the only one to notice this, and I 
>never know how to react. I mean, such a "confession" has so god damn many 
>aspects...on the one hand, they're giving you a sign of trust by telling 
>you something painful and private, but on the other hand, there always 
>seems to be some psychological undercurrent which I can never quite 
>grasp. Almost...I dunno...like they take some kind of perverse pleasure 
>out of showing their scars. Or are trying to let you know that they're 
>strong enough to get past something like that. Or testing to see how you 
>react to such a horror story. Or something.
>
> I pride myself on understanding women more than a lot of guys do, but 
>THIS...no dice. Help a guy out, ladies?

well, i think in my case, it's some of all of those. i don't really know
if i take 'perverse pleasure' in telling someone i trust about my experience,
but i wouldn't put it past me. but it is true that the way a man reacts to 
hearing about the abuse i've dealt with tells me a lot about what he is like
deeper down than he can show most of the time. it is true that i have survived
what many haven't. i feel as though i almost deserve something for that. not 
a medal, or an award, but the respect and concern of the man i choose to be 
with. the ideal response for me would be a man who would never feel short-
changed if i don't feel like having sex, who would understand that my night-
mares are not because of him, but who would be sensitive enough to know that
i need him to treat me almost as if they were, as if he were sorry for an
act which he didn't commit. not that i blame all men for what happened to
me, that would be ridiculous, and not that i expect you all to be sorry for
what one man did. but tenderness, true tenderness comes only when you really
understand. and understanding takes more than just listening, sometimes.

bah.
--
		    -just give me what for,
	rachel perkins =  rperkins@astro.as.arizona.edu
      coed naked internet grep! always keep your link up!
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: tullfan@leland.Stanford.EDU (Richard Thompson)
Subject: Fuck Middle Class Existence
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 93 08:40:42 GMT

Anyone wanna know the primary source of my angst?  Well, I'm telling you 
anyway!

I was raised by musicians--touring musicians to be exact.  One step above
being raised by wolves on the social acceptability ladder.  Anyway, as a child
I would often ask my parents to stop moving around and get a nice suburban
life so I could be like everyone else around me and maybe fit in a bit.  So 
they did this.  I watched my father set aside his roaming ways and settle
down into a 8 to 5 so I could have a house, a tv, a happy dog, a sturdy 
fence, a cat.  He got a fucking mortgage and self-righteous neighbors out of
the deal.  I watched this life style kill him (literally).  I watched my dad
put over a decade of his life into the system--taking the shit from superiors
being a good little middle class guy--all for me--only to have the system 
turn around and fuck him over.  And now I'm at school where everyone talks
about their suburban concerns, their suburban dreams, their suburban 
neighborhoods and their suburban shopping sprees and I just can't relate.  Yet
I feel each day takes me closer to the very thing that I hate.  Middle class
people have more [stuf] than 90% of the people in this world--but at what cost?
Dreary, drab, boring, loss of soul.  Are they really so well off?  I have
yet to meet a middle class person who is happy--distracted perhaps--but not
happy--or honest--or open.  But what's the alternative? Also, I certainly 
wouldn't want to raise children in suburbia--look at what the contradictions
can do to someone--look at the insecurity it breeds. Look at how it kills
creativity--making people think they can't create.  How can I work, when
i have no desire to reap the "rewards"  I don't even know what I want.  

Maybe I'll buy myself a nice VW bus...that would be nice.

On the road to nowhere  (hoping I don't find ozzy at the end),

rich.

-- 
"For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain,
     and big words Bother me."
	-Winnie-the-Pooh
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: bucknerb@bnr.ca (Brent Buckner)
Subject: Re: Back To Work Angst
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ontario, Canada
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 21:34:58 GMT

In article <dsmither.726713231@cunews> dsmither@alfred.carleton.ca (Diane Smithers) writes:
>Brent Buckner writes:
>>Diane Smithers writes:
>>>How do YOU cope?
>
>>The question pre-supposes that I am coping.  To pose a rhetorical 
>>question:  if I were, what would I be doing in alt.angst?
>
>Ok.  Understood.  Although I guess in all fairness to me, I
>would tend to think that people must use these groups for all
>different reasons besides just fucked-up-ed-ness (e.g. 1. simple
>voyeurism; 2. related to #1, to fairly dispassionately check out how
>they cope relative to others (and with what), a function previously
>filled by an advice column; also 3. as seems to be the case, as a target
>for much unresolved nonspecific hostililty).

So much for dodging the question; a thoughtful reply to a rhetorical
question deserves better.

In September I'll be turning my life
upside-down as I leave the workforce and move to pursue MBA studies in
in another hotbed:  London, Ontario.  In the meanwhile, I lead
a dull life and consume escapist entertainment as a coping mechanism.

-- 
at Bell-Northern Research
voice:        (613) 765-2739
Canada Post:  P.O. Box 3511, Station C, Ottawa, Canada, K1Y 4H7
I do not claim that BNR holds these views.
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Monday, 11 Jan 1993 10:12:14 MST
From: <IDJMW@ASUACAD.BITNET>Jo
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: Fuck Middle Class Existence

I watched the middle-class suburban existance kill my father also.
watched him cash in his retirement to escape the 9 to 5 routine, to
buy a small general store along the mississippi river, even as i tried
to talk him out of it, tried to tell him he was buying into an existence
that ceased to exist decades ago. watched his self-esteem and health
crumble as the profits for the store did. watched him dwindle away
to nothing and die as surely as the store slide toward bankruptcy.
bought myself that VW bus, got out of a marriage doomed to send me down
the same suburban spiral, and intend to raise my child MY way.

she's a tougher kid than i was, she doesn't worry about whether she
fits in or not, she brags to her friends about her hippie mother,
and helps me paint flowers on the bus.

my grandchildren will probably be fucked up.

j.
Organization: Arizona State University
Date: Monday, 4 Jan 1993 16:23:58 MST
From: <IDJMW@ASUACAD.BITNET>(just me)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: The eternal questions...
 <1993Jan4.222706.9883@organpipe.uug.arizona.edu>

crash and burn from the start has always been my motto too, rachel...

i feel as if i owe it to them to be my rude and obnoxious twisted self
right up front... they may as well know the truth right off, why
trick them into thinking i'm a nice person?

lately, tho, they've been flocking around anyhow, no matter how awful i seem
to be... must be the phase of the moon
......................j.
Newsgroups: alt.angst
From: cblanc@pomona.claremont.edu (Heathen Undergarment)
Subject: assassination chtulu gonad flora munster junkpot jesus president egg
Organization: Ouphilia, Inc.
Date: 10 Jan 93 21:46:33 PST


but what do _sheep_ want?

who gives a damn?  they're there, perfect for us angstridden gentlescum yet
again scarred by the devoid ambient needles of amerikan dating & the entire
loneliness thing.

fuck humanity.  lonely i can take.  i have no rock 'n' roll band, but i have a
fast right hand.  fuck humanity.

fuck humidity, for that matter.

but it remains in relationships that most can't understand what they want or
where they are and so the entire thing becomes an exciting and painful exercise
in confusion, something often enhanced by bold promises & hopes.

smack's better.

so what do them sheep want?  well, damnit, they're all consenting, which is
good enough ...
From: coury@duke.edu (L.A.Coury)
Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Re: Proof
Date: 10 Jan 93 22:15:26 GMT
Organization: Department of Chemistry, Duke University, Durham, NC 27706

In article <1993Jan10.185635.3143@csd.uwe.ac.uk> ma_blase@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Fox) writes:

>The one thing I find hardest to obtain is proof.  
>...it's almost impossible to be one hundred percent 
>certain that you are being presented with
>a representation of actuality.

Maybe "100% certainty" is a myth, a theoretical construct;
like a frictionless surface or absolute zero.

>  Suppose someone tells you something.  You now have that
>information present but you do not know if the thing you were told was
>the absolute truth or a misrepresentation by that person in order to
>throw your perception of a given set of items or events.

Even more angstful is the realization that there may well be
no such thing as "absolute truth" and that the other person
may not be deliberately misrepresenting the situation, that's
just how s/he sees it.  The fact that human beings can communicate
on any level at all sometimes seems like a miracle.

coury@chem.duke.edu
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Language is a virus from outer space."
	- William S. Burroughs
Newsgroups: alt.angst