From: emery@tc.fluke.COM (John Emery)
Subject: Letters to Tom [8 of 10]
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1992 20:08:33 GMT


Unseen by Sally, though she could sense them, the same little quartet
of demons still lurked about, watching her, looking for opportunities.
They had followed her everywhere she went, and could pass through any
angelic hedge because she carried them with her.  Despair was enjoying
his job less and less; the more Sally continued in her quest, the
less of his poison he could sow in her mind.  Fear had had much to do
and a lot of fun doing it, and was glad to have those rosters along,
but Death and Insanity were getting frustrated.  Sally had found some
new purpose somewhere; Death was no longer welcome in her thoughts,
and her thoughts were becoming too clear and rational for Insanity
to scramble. 
 
All four reached out for her, but at the moment there was nothing to
grab.

Sally closed her duffel bag, leaving the rosters hidden and confined.
"Not now, rosters; I'll deal with you later.  I don't want to feel
sick, I don't want to struggle.  Just give me a break.  Let me rest
awhile."

The demons slinked away to wait.

She grabbed her notebook and pen, and hopped into the bed again.  "Good
feelings, don't go away.  Let me meet with you awhile, study you,
figure you out; let me think things through."

She began another letter to Tom Harris:

"I'm working my way through Psalm 119, and if I understand the message
correctly, there are at least two absolutes being presented, two things
I can know for sure:
  1) There is a right: to obey God's laws and follow His ways.
  2) There is a wrong: to disobey God's laws and not follow His ways.
How am I doing so far?  I hope you're keeping up, because now it's 
going to get tougher.  Psalm 119 also talks about two human conditions
that are the direct result of the two absolutes:
  1) Do what is right, and you'll be happy and blessed.
  2) Do what is wrong, and you'll be put to shame.
Now is that simple or what?  Too simple, I suppose; too basic to be
believed and accepted by people like me who insist there is no reality
higher than themselves.

But, Tom, I do believe I have been put to shame.  Even the vicious, cutting
remarks of an enemy, Professor Lynch, make that clear to me.  He was
trying to destroy me, I know, but there was nothing he said that wasn't
true.  I couldn't argue with him.  The truth is, my life is in ruins.

But can I accept the Bible's explanation for it?  Dare I trust this Book?
If the Bible is trustworthy, and if I did choose to believe it, then I
could, once and for all, determine who and where I am: in the wrong, 
outside of God's favor, put to shame.

Not a comfortable thought, but at least I would have an immovable rock
under my feet."


Despair flopped to the floor beside the bed, holding his stomach and
moaning.  Death and Insanity weren't feeling very well either, but 
took it out on Despair.

"You're losing her, leech!  You're the one in charge of this mission!
Do something!"

Fear volunteered, "Perhaps I could think of something to frighten her."

Despair hissed at him, "You've done that, and driven her closer to the
truth!"

Sally felt sleepy at last.  For now, her questions were resolved, her
thoughts recorded, and she could rest.  She set the notebook on the 
bedside table, put all the pillows aside except one, and clicked off
the lamp.

As she lay there in the dark, she noticed how peaceful she felt.  This
was the first night in a long time that she did not feel afraid.  Instead,
she felt...what was this?  Hope?  Yes!  This had to be hope.  It felt
so foreign, so different.

Out of her distant past, she could recall once again those old feelings
and thoughts from Sunday school: I want to be good.  I want to do good
things and love God.  I want Jesus to come into my heart.  

She fluffed her pillow and let her head sink into it. Hm. Jesus.  Now
what does He have to do with all this?

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