From: deviass@ecf.toronto.edu (Deviasse Robert)
Subject: Re: Shhh (ARC) Attack
Organization: University of Toronto, Engineering Computing Facility
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 19:17:13 GMT

In article <93008.103209IDJMW@ASUACAD.BITNET> <IDJMW@ASUACAD.BITNET>Jody Namio writes:
>geez, guys....
>
>my "angst" isn't necessary directly related to the status of, lack of,
>or departure of an SO in my life. sometimes it is. sometimes i don't
>know if i ever want an SO again. sometimes i feel such an ache for
>lack of an SO its a physical pain. thats the way it goes, i guess.
>i wish i could be more optimistic about having another person in my life,
>or about another person WANTING to be in my life. that's the part i find
>hard. if another person wants to be in my life, what's wrong with him??

What's wrong with him? Why must there be anything seriously wrong with him?
Well, you must have something to offer (no I don't mean that). You must have 
some dreams, skills, interests, and other beautiful qualities that someone 
else would like. Don't sell yourself short. We are all unique, and we are
all special and we all have different needs. There must be someone out there
with needs that complement your gifts, and vice versa. But first you have
to have faith in yourself. How can you "convince" someone else of the
special person you are if you don't really believe it? You have friends.
They see something special in you, and some day, you'll meet that special
person that will also see it also. It just takes time.

>
>moved to arizona from minnesota almost three years ago to be with
>someone who, when i got here, decided he didn't want to take the
>responsibility for having got me here. decided that it was okay to
>ignore me and treat me like an afterthought but show up at the door
>a few times a month for a physical part of a relationship. i sent
>him away. met and fell in love with someone i still have feelings for
>but have been treated in ways by this person that causes me to no
>longer trust him, trust his actions, trust the things he tells me
>or trust him enuf to tell him how i'm feeling. don't know if that
>trust can be rebuilt or rekindled, or whether its just gone.
>
>had a date here and there with new people i've met, but have come
>to the probably erroneous conclusion that these were the types of
>guys that think its okay to take a woman to dinner or a movie, then
>try to jump her bones before she leaves the car. i can live without
>that. i can live alone with my cats the rest of my life before
>putting up with that.
>
>heavy sigh
>
>thanks for listening. i'll stop whining now.....

It's not whining, it's just opening up. You have to deal with the
present before you can dream about a future. You've been hurt and
need some time to heal from your wounds, but by no means give up.
As I said before, I've never been in love, but I'm a very idealistic
person and there were times when my ideals have been smashed into a billion
pieces. I can tell you that it's not fun. But there has always been
something I could take out of it and still keep my enthusiam for life.
You've learned some lessons from you mismatched relationships. You've
at least learned what does not work. Don't ask me what does work, I don't
know past what my ideal tell me should work. But I do know that the only 
way to find it is to look and always keep the faith.

>
>Jo
>"Can't stop the habit of living on the run"
>
>

Take care
    Robert

-- 
/-------------------------------+---------------------------------------------\
| Robert N. Deviasse            |"The things that are not easily attained,    |
| EMAIL: g2devi@cdf.utoronto.ca |    are the things we cherish the most."     |
+-------------------------------+---------------------------------------------/