HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: sanjiv@cse.unl.edu (Sanjiv K. Bhatia)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Need a HUGE smiley
Date: 6 Jan 1993 21:10:42 GMT
Organization: University of Nebraska--Lincoln	
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: cse.unl.edu

A friend asked me for a smiley that fills at least a screen.  Anyone who mails
it to me will have my eternal gratitude (and my friend's too).

Objoke: this posting ;-)

Sanjiv
--
Sanjiv K. Bhatia		Department of Mathematics & Computer Science
sanjiv@redbird.umsl.edu		University of Missouri -- St. Louis
voice: (314)-553-6520		8001 Natural Bridge Road
				St. Louis, MO 63121-4499
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: keith@torme.sharebase.com (Keith Chambless)
Subject: Re: Elvis' Birthday Today!
Reply-To: keith@torme.sharebase.com (Keith Chambless)
Organization: NCR/ShareBase Corporation
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 93 20:40:43 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.135211.25602@wam.umd.edu> puerile@wam.umd.edu (Mohan R. Ramanathan) writes:
>Merry Elvis' Birthday to the Net!
>I was wondering if someone out there knew the lyrics
>to the song "Elvis is Still the King" 
              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Was that a joke?
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust)
Subject: Re: READ MY LIPS (PART 2)
Summary: rec.humor.funny STILL ain't very funny
Organization: Gallaudet University English Department
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 15:34:35 GMT

In article <1993Jan7.142643.26908@rigel.econ.uga.edu>, skip@rosalyn.stat.uga.edu (Skip Gundlach) writes:
> In article <1993Jan6.190954.1@gallua.gallaudet.edu> sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust) writes:
>>In article <19308@mindlink.bc.ca>, Robyn_Clark@mindlink.bc.ca (Robyn Clark) writes:
>>
>>>         I'd also like to thank those of you who made me aware of the group
>>> rec.humor.funny... I have now started reading that group and it is a real
>>> pleasure to know that the next item appearing on my screen will NOT be some
>>> shit that doesn't belong there.
>>> 
>>> 
>>>         News Item:  Dateline Vancouver, BC  July 2, 1992.  The first
>>> confirmed case of aids in a whale has been documented locally.  It appears
>>> the whale was possibly rear-ended by a BC Ferry.
>>> 
>>> 
>>-- 
>>
>>	If this is Robyn's type of humor I can see she will be right at home in
>>rec.humor.funny
>>
>>		Good riddance!
>>
> C'mon, Scott, give the newbie a break!  Just cuz she/he (an assertion
> in earlier commentary to the original post) didn't know about the
> moderated group is no reason to turn on the flamethrower.  Where's
> your compassion (OBJ)?
> 

	I've seen flamethrowers turned on over sillier things than this in my
time on rec.humor. Point well taken, though. Robyn - I apologize for my 
apparent lack of compassion for those poor suckers who are newbies to the 
net. My flame was meant to equally fry the unfunny rec.humor.funny and the
apology herein does _not_ apply to that half of the flame.


> -- 
> Skip Gundlach .nosig (Sorry, that's the best I could do on short
> notice, and I'm not even an electrician...) 
> 
> 
-- 
_______

		Scott A. Rust | "A stupid person can do anything
	 Gallaudet University |           except think."
  sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu |                   Bob Dobbs, Jr.

		   "Why? Why because I laugh."
                                    - Sherwood Anderson -
From: susv2040@altair.selu.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Date: 11 Jan 93 08:27:40 -0600
Distribution: world
Organization: Southeastern Louisiana University

In article <1993Jan9.183537.1168@athena.mit.edu>, dmchamb@athena.mit.edu (Dawn M Chamberlain) writes:
> There was a family of mostly doctors who used to live down the street from me,
> last name Coffin - another encouraging name!  Also, some one who lives in my dorm
> is named Justin Payne.
> 
> Dawn Chamberlain
> dmchamb@athena.mit.edu



My cousin is a gynecologist -- His name?    Dr. Love.


No sig yet--still a newbie.

Linda
SUSV2040@selu.edu

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: fenton@scs.carleton.ca (Greg Fenton)
Subject: Re: Please Submit Elephant Jokes.
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carleton University, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Sun, 10 Jan 1993 08:40:22 GMT

In article <1993Jan9.155423.259@choate.edu> drizzt@spock.uucp (Neela Jacques) writes:
>In article <C0I9y7.At9@acsu.buffalo.edu> C128J8Q7@ubvm.cc.buffalo.edu writes:
>>I'm interested in compiling a list of elephant jokes.  If you have any, it
>>doesn't matter how lame, please submit them.


	Q: what do you do when you come across an elephant?

	A: you wipe it off.

trev a.k.a. tefenton@108.watstar.uwaterloo.ca

> 
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pelton@ecf.toronto.edu (PELTON MATTHEW ALAN)
Subject: Re: Re: RIDDLES (involving no survivors,bears,birds or bus drivers)
Organization: University of Toronto, Engineering Computing Facility
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 20:47:15 GMT

  Funny, I heard that he said, "This is an inuslt up with which I will
not put."

  How about Don Cherry?  He was once admonished for ending a sentence with
a preposition after he said, "Where's it at?"  His response was, "Where's
it at, you asshole?"

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: ramirez@spock.uucp (Andreas Orphanides)
Subject: Re: Test
Organization: Choate Rosemary Hall
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 21:58:29 GMT

In article <1993Jan8.030614.934@atri.curtin.edu.au> clarke@atri.curtin.edu.au writes:
>Alas I must dash, there's a knock at the door.
Use shift-f not f, news poster so poor!


Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust)
Subject: Re: History (was: Seriously, a joke.)
Summary: "It's a Gael thing. You wouldn't understand."
Keywords: Gaelic, Celtic, Garlic, Arctic - It's relative, eh?
Organization: Gallaudet University English Department
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 18:35:34 GMT

In article <C0FMyu.8FG@agora.rain.com>, trifid@agora.rain.com (Roadster Racewerks) writes:
> 


>   [Lots and lots of fascinating *cough* history/opinions deleted]


> 
> Suze
> (Who is *proud* enough of her Gael ancestors to accept them *as they were*
> without bowderizing them out of all recognition, thank you very much...)
-- 

	Maybe I'm way off base here, but doesn't this belong on
rec.family.heritage, alt.my.culture.is.better or misc.test? Unless this was
meant as a joke or something? I guess I would have to be Celtic of something to
understand.

_______

		Scott A. Rust | "A stupid person can do anything
	 Gallaudet University |           except think."
  sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu |                   Bob Dobbs, Jr.

		   "Why? Why because I laugh."
                                    - Sherwood Anderson -
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com ( Phil Mueller )
Subject: Re: New Internet Farsides!
Organization: Intergraph
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 1993 03:38:19 GMT


Two huge cave bears being attacked by a bunch of cave men.  One bear says to
the other: "Crimney!  Seems like every summer there's more of these around."

-- 
Phil Mueller                  Telephone:  (205) 730-3231
Intergraph Corporation        FAX number: (205) 730-3453
Mailstop: GD3000              Internet: mueller@b30news.b30.ingr.com
Huntsville, AL 35894-0001     UUCP address: bogus.dont.use
From: corre@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Alan D Corre)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: interesting christian-surname combinations
Date: 12 Jan 1993 11:08:48 GMT
Organization: Computing Services Division, University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4


The Milwaukee Journal recorded some time ago that a young lady by
the name of Yvonne had married a Mr. Knott.  She now signs her
name Y. Knott?

-- 
Alan D. Corre
Department of Hebrew Studies
University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee                     (414) 229-4245
PO Box 413, Milwaukee, WI 53201               corre@csd4.csd.uwm.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: rlbright@rich.nt.com (Ronald Albright,448-7839,)
Subject: Re: CNN does a piece on Smileys
Reply-To: rlbright@rich.nt.com
Organization: Northern Telecom, Inc.
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1993 21:54:09 GMT

In article 17043@cs.wisc.edu, dws@ssec.wisc.edu (DaviD W. Sanderson) writes:
>In article <swood.726695126@vela> swood@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Scott Wood - EVENSONG) writes:
>>They spoke to a couple of people (one for Carnegie Mellon - not sure
>>where for the other gentleman)
>
>Scott Fahlman at CMU (smiley inventor).  Me at UW-Madison (smiley
>collector).  Note that I posted an article in rec.humor.d forewarning
>people about the smiley story, in case they were interested in seeing
>how the popular media would deal with something so idiomatic to
>computer users.  (I've redirected followups to rec.humor.d where they
>belong.)
>

The Wall Street Journal also did an article on smileys. I can't remember when.
It was a couple of months back.

Ron


Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: johnson@spectra.com (boyd johnson)
Subject: Re: Bumper Stickers
Organization: Spectragraphics Corporation
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 93 18:12:10 GMT

transplanted from rec.humor

>In article <BzoH2G.J9s@utdallas.edu> bcollins@utdallas.edu (ARLIN B COLLINS) writes:
>>  ___________________________
>>  |  I [heart] my cat.      |
>>  |  I [spade] my dog.      |
>>  |  I [club]  my wife.     |
       I [diamond] day mornings
>>  |_________________________|

Effective January 1 Californians can now get personalized plates with
letters, numbers AND symbols.  I don't know all the symbols available
yet.  Anybody know what symbols are available?
How about some cute suggestions for license plates (7 digit max)?
The first two above would fit.

-- 
======== Boyd Johnson    nosc!spectra.com!johnson  San Diego, Ca. ========
From: dhoeferlin@desire.wright.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: alt.ascii-art ?  (was: alt.fan.cows)
Date: 6 Jan 93 19:46:33 EST
Organization:  Wright State University 

              .... NO! ...                  ... MNO! ...
            ..... MNO!! ...................... MNNOO! ...
          ..... MMNO! ......................... MNNOO!! .
         .... MNOONNOO!   MMMMMMMMMMPPPOII!   MNNO!!!! .
          ... !O! NNO! MMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPOOOII!! NO! ....
             ...... ! MMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPOOOOIII! ! ...
            ........ MMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPOOOOOOII!! .....
            ........ MMMMMOOOOOOPPPPPPPPOOOOMII! ...
             ....... MMMMM..    OPPMMP    .,OMI! ....
              ...... MMMM::  oo.,OPMP,.oo  ::I!! ...
                  .... NNM:::.,,OOPM!P,.::::!! ....
                   .. MMNNNNNOOOOPMO!!IIPPO!!O! .....
                  ... MMMMMNNNNOO:!!:!!IPPPPOO! ....
                    .. MMMMMNNOOMMNNIIIPPPOO!! ......
                   ...... MMMONNMMNNNIIIOO!..........
                ....... MN MOMMMNNNIIIIIO! OO ..........
             ......... MNO! II#########II OOOO ...........
           ...... NNN.MNO! . O#########O . OONO NO! ........
            .... MNNNNNO! ...OOOOOOOOOOO .  MMNNON!........
            ...... MNNNNO! .. PPPPPPPPP .. MMNON!........
               ...... OO! ................. ON! .......


	I'm all for the ascii group, I leave this above ascii
on the screen when I leave the vax terminal room.  With the message,
"Use this terminal at your own risk."  Of course to post it I took out
the escape characters that make the eyes blink and the teeth bold.

Note:  This ascii creation is not mine, but since I received it in a 
       large file full of similiar pictures, of which very few had credit
       given for the creator, I know not who originally created it.

|============================================================================|
| It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home     |
|                               for Dinner!                                  | 
|============================================================================|
| David Hoeferlin              | Disclaimer:  This University has everything |
| Wright State University      | to do with my shrinking wallet, but         |
| Electrical Engineering       | nothing to do with my Opinions, Actions     |
| dhoeferlin@desire.wright.edu | or even my Education.                       |
|============================================================================|
From: john@newave.newave.mn.org (John A. Weeks III)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: smiley story to air on CNN
Date: 10 Jan 93 03:24:42 GMT
Organization: Newave Communications, Ltd, Lake Wobegon, MN

In <1993Jan8.172535.8086@cs.wisc.edu> dws@ssec.wisc.edu (DaviD W. Sanderson):
> As a matter of (possibly) general interest, I thought I'd let you
> netters know that CNN is scheduled to air a story on smileys.

I saw it on CNN Headline News at about 1:27AM this morning (Sat Jan 9).

The clip was about 2 minutes long.  CNN generally has two different versions
of their human interest stories, a 20 or so second version, and a 2-3 minute
version.

-john-

-- 
==============================================================================
John A. Weeks III		(612) 942-6969		    john@newave.mn.org
Newave Communications, Ltd.			    ..!uunet!tcnet!newave!john
From: fox@rei.com (Fuzzy Fox)
Subject: Re: Cows
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 18:04:58 GMT
Organization: Recognition Equipment, Inc.

Joel, I think that this is a perfect time for you to create the Cow
Humor Mailing List, and you are the perfect moderator for the job.

-- 
#ifdef TRUE        | Fuzzy Fox (a.k.a. David DeSimone)       fuzzy@netcom.com
#define  TRUE   0  |
#define  FALSE  1  |  "911 Emercency Rescue Service - Can you hold, please?"
#endif             |
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: dave@dhcs.demon.co.uk (Dave Hodgkinson)
Subject: Re: alt.ascii-art ?  (was: alt.fan.cows)
Organization: IISC, dept of hackery.
	<1993Jan6.194633.6453@desire.wright.edu>
Apparently-To: mail2news@news.demon.co.uk
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1993 14:21:57 +0000


Along those lines, I seem to remember (erroneously?) that there was a
pbm filter that converted to ASCII. Is this true?

Dave - not a fan of ASCII art. Give be 24 bits any day!

-- 
Dave Hodgkinson | Nearest thing to a Chief Wizard at IISC | +44 71 628 6960
S:10 I:17 W:8 D:14 C:13 Ch: 15      About to die: daveh@cix.compulink.co.uk
            Direct, to my desk, three times a day ... dave@dhcs.demon.co.uk
   This message brought to you by the most excellent Demon Internet Service
Xref: sparky rec.humor.d:2899 soc.religion.quaker:387 soc.culture.celtic:8585 soc.culture.jewish:24687
From: ray@philmtl.philips.ca (Ray Dunn)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: History (was: Seriously, a joke.)
Date: 7 Jan 93 05:09:19 GMT
Organization: Not Philips.

In refd article, trifid@agora.rain.com (Roadster Racewerks) writes:
>You know, Ray, I really can't take your reply to my post very seriously...
>
>You ask how I can believe stereotypes were once "Valid" (I don't think I used
>that word) without believing they are true, nowadays.
>
>Very simple. As times change situations change

The words you used were:

 >Although we nowadays are taught to be more careful about stereotypes, they
 >do often have some foundation in fact if you go back far enough.

and were followed by (questionable) explanations justifying (or, if you
will, showing the factual foundation of) the stereotypes of Scots, Quakers
and Jews.

An argument that suggests an idea "has some foundation in fact", is an
attempt to show that the idea is justified, has some validity.

You missed the point of my objection.  I'm fully aware of the various
aspects of human nature, Scots or otherwise, which cause stereotypes to
arise.  However, _justifying_ the validity of those stereotypes.  even
when you say they are no longer valid, is to suggest that generalisation
_per se_ is valid.

You went out of your way to try to show how at one time they had
"foundation in fact" when actually, all stereotypes are meaningless,
replacing the real facts about specific groups or individuals by the
standardized generalization.

It's only if you believe that stereotypes are applicable that the
possibility of being offended arises.

>And if you think all the prejudice against "Wild Scots/Irish" was Victorian,
>I suggest you read a better quality of history text in future.
>[long lecture deleted]

Thanks for the history lesson and long list of anti-Scot prejudices (not
held by you, I hasten to add), but where do you get the idea that I don't
believe these existed, or that many of them go back a long way?  If you'd
actually read the paragraph:

>>There's no evidence that the Scots sterotype for stinginess is based on
>>anything other than it was cultivated by Scottish Victorian music-hall
>>artistes as part of an otherwise artificial personna.

you'd see my comments only referred to the one particular attribute that
the joke referred to.
-- 
Ray Dunn at home        |  Beaconsfield, Quebec  |  Phone: (514) 630 3749
ray@philmtl.philips.ca  |  ray@cam.org           |  uunet!sobeco!philmtl!ray
Xref: sparky rec.humor.d:2886 soc.religion.quaker:379 soc.culture.celtic:8540 soc.culture.jewish:24563
From: ray@philmtl.philips.ca (Ray Dunn)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: Seriously, a joke.
Date: 5 Jan 93 03:01:13 GMT
Organization: Not Philips.

In refd article, nelson@sun.soe.clarkson.edu (Russ Nelson) writes:
 >ray@philmtl.philips.ca (Ray Dunn) writes:
 >> There was a couple of things mildly offensive about the post.  The first is
 >> the motive of the poster - he chose his newsgroups cross-post list with at
 >> least an attempt to be controversial, if not deliberately offensive.
 >
 >No, it's because I enjoy a joke made about any particular groups that I
 >belong to.  Perhaps I shouldn't impute that enjoyment to others...

Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Russ.  I must say you're the very
first celtic, jewish, quaker funny-man that I've had the dubious pleasure
of meeting! 

 >> The second is the subject line.  Either the poster was trying to be clever
 >> and actually imply that he was serious, or he was falling into the trap
 >> that somehow you can be as offensive as you like so long as you protest
 >> that you're really only trying to make a joke.  I've never understood that
 >> concept, it's like smiling as you stick the knife in, and expecting the
 >> recipient to be happy too.
 
 >Perhaps you're reading this in rec.humor (followups are now to rec.humor.d),
 >but the subject line was intended to alert people to the presence of a joke.
 >I suppose I could have been less clever and simply said "Joke", but that
 >wouldn't have done much for the readers of rec.humor, would it?

Let me see now, I'm not quite sure that I get this... for readers of
rec.humour you wanted to imply "serious", but for the other groups "joke"?

Ah well...  (:-)

Seriously though, if something has to be _labelled_ as a joke to let people
know its nature, it's probably not worth bothering about.

To me it was actually neither offensive nor funny, just tired.
-- 
Ray Dunn at home        |  Beaconsfield, Quebec  |  Phone: (514) 630 3749
ray@philmtl.philips.ca  |  ray@cam.org           |  uunet!sobeco!philmtl!ray
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: comptec90012@camins.camosun.bc.ca (Greg W Burnham)
Subject: Re: Purity Tests (Re: alt.ascii-art ?)
Followup-To: alt.config
Organization: Camosun College
Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1993 16:30:16 GMT

In article <21074@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu>, ez026992@snagglepuss.ucdavis.edu writes:
> Could someone please e-mail me the 100 question purity test,
> the one I've seen isn't TOO harsh, no 'have you had
> sex underwater while drinking tequila question'.

Me too, please.

comptec90012@camins.camosun.bc.ca      |  <include std_disclaim.h>
Greg W Burnham Victoria, B.C., Canada! |
________________________________________________________________________________
			Tiu na xinq.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
From: hiscrp@nuscc.nus.sg (C R Pennell)
Subject: Re: History (was: Seriously, a joke.)
Organization: National University of Singapore
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1993 23:01:06 GMT

hoosiers@carson.u.washington.edu (Mary Loveless) writes:
: In article <1993Jan8.042125.29122@lut.ac.uk> L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd
: Wood) writes:
: 
:  >Sitting in silence KILLS newsgroups. 
: 
: Is it possible that an individual can take time for meditation before
: speaking in a group situation, including a newsgroup?  There is the
: possibility that within each of us is the inner light, our connection to
: the greater whole.  The purpose of sitting in silence, whether alone or in
: a group situation, is to allow the centering down process to take place,
: to reach *below* the first reaction to another's ideas, for that deeper
: connection, and then, if moved, to speak from that connection.  
: 

. . . . . . . . . [            ]  . . . 


Richard Pennell, History, NUS
From: Steve.Lake@brunel.ac.uk (Steve M Lake)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: rec.humor.funny.NOT
Date: 6 Jan 93 09:59:15 GMT
Distribution: rec.humor.d
Organization: Brunel University, West London, UK

After all the discussions about rec.humor.funny, I would like to propose that
it's name is changed to rec.humor.funny.NOT, as I think it's more suitable.

If you DO want to post to rec.humor.funny, and you want to guarentee that
it's sent, here is a list to help you

1: Make sure that it's topical, so that by the time it's posted it's
   about 6 months out of date

   2: Make sure it's an ancient English joke so that the American moderator
      won't have heard it

3: Do a song parody (as previously mentioned)
4: Make sure that only about 1 in 10 people actually find the joke funny.

Hope that is of interest to someone. #

- Steve Lake & Andy Taylor
- No offence to rec.humor.funny, but lets face it, it's not.
D
Xref: sparky rec.humor.d:2901 soc.religion.quaker:388 soc.culture.celtic:8598 soc.culture.jewish:24721
From: hoosiers@carson.u.washington.edu (Mary Loveless)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d,soc.religion.quaker,soc.culture.celtic,soc.culture.jewish
Subject: Re: History (was: Seriously, a joke.)
Date: 7 Jan 1993 17:21:14 GMT
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
NNTP-Posting-Host: carson.u.washington.edu

In article <1993Jan7.050919.10331@philmtl.philips.ca>
ray@philmtl.philips.ca (Ray Dunn) writes: 

>In refd article, trifid@agora.rain.com (Roadster Racewerks) writes: >>You
know, Ray, I really can't take your reply to my post very seriously... >>

A couple of comments about this thread:  1) jokes can bring enlightment
and new thinking through laughter, or they can rehearse an oppressive
attitude, helping to keep it in place. 2) a time of sitting in silence and
speaking from the heart would work well, even in a newsgroup.  Each of us
has a right to our opinions; does the growth and change come from
responding point by point to another's ideas or does it come from reaching
within ourselves to find the courage to say, as best we can, what we know,
inspired, one would hope, by that connection with the inner light that
comes with silence. 

Mary Loveless  hoosiers@carson.u.washington.edu
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All of my opinions are self-righteously my own and **certainly** have
nothing to do with the University of Washington.

*"Too much of a good thing can be *wonderful*."  Mae West
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: GRS03109@CONRAD.APPSTATE.EDU (*GRS9999102)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: purity test?
Date: 13 Jan 1993 04:27:23 GMT
Organization: APPALACHIAN STATE UNIVERSITY
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: stat.appstate.edu
X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.24

Could someone tell me where I can obtain a copy of something called
the purity test?  It comes in varying lengths.
Xref: sparky rec.humor.d:2918 soc.religion.quaker:413 soc.culture.celtic:8680 soc.culture.jewish:25051