HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Quayle, bullies, 'n things (was Re: Lemon Gin, Rape)
Date: 7 Apr 92 16:22:43 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis) writes:

[stuff about school bullying and "active listening" as a solution
deleted because it's so dumb it caused Geoff to respond....]

>And I couldn't help noticing that this is done " to see if the person has
>done anything to encourage the bullying."  Yeah, right -- it's all the
>victim's fault.  Of course, this provides yet another excuse to avoid 
>addressing the problem at its source with a (hopefully violent) confron-
>tation.  Massive thermonuclear retaliation, that's the ticket.

Yep. To almost quote an all-merkin hero: "I wouldn't advocate
retaliation massive enough to maim to anyone, but it sure as hell worked
for me :-)"

It always used to amuse me when Thatcher and Raygun wittered on and on
about nuclear deterrence and how "it's kept the peace for 40 years". If
they really believed this then why not give some to Israel (woops, they
already have 'em :-) Iraq, Iran, Burma, Turkey etc. That should increase
world peace right away. Then there's the Kurds, ETA, the IRA.....

In fact we shouldn't rest until everyone has their own nuclear grenade
arsenal in order to insure that deterrence finally puts an end to
societal violence :-)

It'd certainly put a stop to school bullying. Hell, it'd put a stop to
schools. 

I bet Thatcher and Raygun would be first in line to say they were just
kidding about how it kept the peace and all......

Peeve: Hypocrisy

>Geoff

Next Week: Thermonuclear War and it's application to solving common
sibling disputes.....
From: egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions
Date: 16 Apr 92 10:10:35 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

In article <1992Apr15.153259.8544@nsisrv.gsfc.nasa.gov> dsc@gemini.tmc.edu (Doug S. Caprette Bldg. 28 W191 x3892) writes:

>The "blame the victim" mentality upsets me to no end.  People have rights.
>People have a right to go out in public.  Daytime nightime dusk or dawn,
>"good" neighborhoods or "bad."  People's rights don't change.  Society,
>has a responsibility to protect people.  Concentrating on the victim, rather
>than the criminal, is irresponsible.

Hear Hear!  That is why I get upset about the police telling me it was
my fault I got hit by a car and therefore I should pay for the damage to
the front of the vehicle.  The fact that I was carried off to the
hospital in screaming agony does not alter their point of view.

Hey!  I had a RIGHT to be standing in the middle of the road!

Babs
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: tim@comphy.physics.orst.edu (Tim Mefford)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Amurrica (was Re: peeve dump)
Date: 8 Apr 92 20:26:44 GMT
Article-I.D.: talon.1992Apr8.202644.23686
Reply-To: tim@comphy.UUCP (Tim Mefford)
Organization: Oregon State University - Univ. Computing Services

In article <31235@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk> pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg) writes:
>
>Peeve: The fact that a nation full of people desperately trying
>to relive the nineteenth century (sometimes A.D. sometimes B.C.)
>still manages to remain an economic superpower and register 
>technological advances.

I'm going to go ahead and point out the hypocrisy of someone from
Britain portraying any other nation as being obsessed with the past.
Explain for me, if you will, why Britain, in this day and age, need
to spend Billions of pounds maintaining a large fleet, dispropotionate
for its GNP to any nation's, if not to recapture the glory of great
Brittania.

>
>Peeve: Reading this newsgroup gives the impression that the above
>nation is full of people obsessed with guns, whose attitude seems to
>be "don't leave home without one". Despite this, there remains some
>semblance of law and order over there, where a state of complete
>anarchy would appear to be well-deserved.
>
      The above nation (that would be the USA) is obsessed with guns.
Lots of people get shot.  A guy just went nuts and had a shootout with
police last month two houses down from a friend's boyhood home in Concord.
(CA)   Anarchy, however, will remain the domain of the UK.  Your soccer
fans require no guns to instill a sense of anarchy wherever they go.
American street gangs, by contrast, may be violent, but they have a 
clearly defined sense of purpose.  Guns, you see, promote order, if not
stability.  People's individual lives may be insecure, but the system
goes on.

ObBob: Hood

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"that's funny. i always pictured alt.peeves as the cowardly lion from the
wizard_of_oz_ and elvira doing it in a '57 chevy.
no wait. that's alt.bestiality.in.a.way.cool.car."  - L. Potler

tim@physics.orst.edu       Tim Mefford
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Smoking Surrogate
Date: 11 Apr 92 23:00:56 GMT
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

potler@umbc4.umbc.edu (Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:

>In article <19951@castle.ed.ac.uk> egev05@castle.ed.ac.uk (B A Page) writes:
>>ObScene:  John Major, wearing a purple lycra posing pouch, going down
>>on Thora Hird

>ok, i give. what's a posing pouch?

It is a thing you put your dick in that holds it up and out of the way.

Since you're wearing sexy clothes, it should also keep it heavy and large.
-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"It's not an adult feature unless someone's gooey at the end."
 -- Bill Hicks
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lawyers not Chemists
Date: 8 Apr 92 21:41:08 GMT
Organization: Autodesk, Inc., Sausalito, CA

In article <1992Apr7.164630.987@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu> sac@gnv.ifas.ufl.edu writes:

[relates story of how a young lawyer has bongo bucks and he does not.]

>coveted degrees. The only problem is that I am the only one who covets
>them. Out of college my first position paid $20K per year. What the Fuck
>is that? Most of my fraternity brothers who watched TV through collge
>made more than that out of college! Now I must listen to my wife piss

I used to work with lawyers. They did get large salaries early on.
Their lives, although enriched with cash, are dull and laden with a
workload that would make an ox stumble. Associates were expected to
"bill" 10 hours a day. That meant that they had to do work that could
be justified to clients for 10 hours, and go to daily meetings, and
go to dull lunches with pompous and drunken clients. They had to fly
to dull locations to read dull documents at the drop of a hat. They
were usually in there on Saturdays. It was an easy weekend if they
only had to be there until noon on Sunday.

SO, although they have lots of money, read your wife the above paragraph.
There were shitloads of broken marriages in this tale. Many attorneys
who cannot keep up with the work and still look unrumpled and professional
got punted out and wound up being DAs, ACLU attorneys and solo practitioners.
I'd rather be poor and happy than work with lawyers again.


>I ask you, where is the justice in this snot nosed ambulance chaser owning
>more before he's thirty than I ever will in 30 years of hard core medical 
>research? If you can prove to me he virtuously deserves all his perques
>I will do just about anything in retribution.

The key word is "research". Unless you are a super grant writer, you
are screwed. If its any consolation, you are engaged in a profession
that saves lives and, at least, have my admiration and a cleaner 
karma.

>Sorry for the monologue, but I have to get the crushing weight of a 
>truely farcicle reality off my chest every once in a while

That's OK. One of these days, I will post my rant about finding my
cat up a chimney. Ever try to bathe a cat named Attila?


Peeve: That medical researchers don't make a lot of money.

SuperPeeve: That lawyers do make so much money.

ER
--
*"I mean it could make a big difference in your life if you thought that 
*you didn't need to depend on some musty old dogma thats riddled with
*translation problems, and started acting from the center of your own being."
*					-Owen Rowley
Xref: sparky alt.peeves:7619 talk.bizarre:10353 soc.singles:10532
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,talk.bizarre,soc.singles
Subject: what should I do?
Date: 7 Apr 92 10:02:48 GMT
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper


Friday I ran into a young lady and asked her for some midol.

the following monday she ran into me and I was complaining
about water weight, feling bloated, and being generally crabby.

Is this something a guy should worry about?

ciao
drieux
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Screams of a billion banshees
Date: 9 Apr 92 15:23:44 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes) writes:

>AntiPeeve: Goretex.

California AntiPeeve: Gottex.

Clear and sunny here.  Had to use the air conditioning yesterday.


-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"It's not an adult feature unless someone's gooey at the end."
 -- Bill Hicks
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: PREscriptions, subsiDIARY...
Date: 9 Apr 92 21:59:39 GMT
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

allane@moon.gas.unsw.OZ.AU.gas.unsw.OZ.AU (Allan Evans) writes:

>1) Beer is not pronounced the same. It is pronounced Bee-ah. There are no words 
>   that end with an R sound in AusSpeak.

Unless they end in a vowel sound and proceed a word that begins in
a vowel sound: "Peetzer iz my favorite dish."

Same thing on Airstrip One.
-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"It's not an adult feature unless someone's gooey at the end."
 -- Bill Hicks
From: tony@mantis.co.uk (Tony Lezard)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Accident prone (was Re: NICKNAMES)
Date: 7 Apr 92 14:35:03 GMT
Distribution: world,public
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.

JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu (Jenni Sheehey) writes:

> ObPeeve: Being accident prone.  Monday, I have a bizarre accident and
> hit my head, and today I turn and bruise my ankle while walking down
> some stairs in a perfectly normal manner.
> 
> RelatedPeeve: My head still hurts.

Hmm... Now I've met a number of people who claim to be accident prone
and judging by their reports, they do indeed seem to have more accidents
than other people.

This makes me wonder exactly what's going on. Are there divine influences
at work with these people? Did they incur the wrath of god in a previous
life?

No.

The reason is very simple.

They are clumsy, and use "accident prone" as both a euphemism and as an
excuse for this.

Peeve: It's no excuse really, unless you're disabled.

BonusPeeve (which might explain the grumpy tone of the above): Draconian
forces from on high have made swingeing cuts to our newsgroups received.
Lost some of my favourite groups like alt.folklore.urban and sci.skeptic.

!Peeve: Managed to keep alt.peeves and alt.tasteless, but I had to struggle.

--
Tony Lezard IS tony@mantis.co.uk OR tony%mantis.co.uk@uknet.ac.uk
OR EVEN arl10@phx.cam.ac.uk if all else fails. Great! Kept my .sig down to two
lines!
From: dmunroe@gollum.wr.tek.com (David Munroe)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Where'd he get his name?
Date: 15 Apr 92 22:20:56 GMT
Organization: Tektronix, Inc

In article <STEINAR.92Apr15113430@faust.solan.unit.no> steinar@faust.solan.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:

>ObPeeve: No one has asked me what Flodnak, Inc., does in weeks.  Could it
>be people are figuring it out...?

Well I saw early on that it was simply your name spelled backwards.  Since
it wasn't "Flodnak A/S", I assumed it was a mythical company (pretty
brilliant, huh?).  With my luck, though, it's probably a center for research
in molecular biology or something.

-Dave

ObPeeve: Marriott Food Services.  Stay tuned for the complete peeve.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Iowegian)
Subject: Re: PREscriptions, subsiDIARY...
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Iowegian)
Organization: Sensitive Guys Martial Arts and Gun Club
Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1992 23:56:09 GMT

geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Tricky Gnosis) writes:
>
>> steveb@cernvax.cern.ch (Steve Bougerolle) writes: 
>
>>Q: How do you tell the difference between a Canadian and an American?
>
>>A: Canadians don't pronounce the 'r' in 'wash.'
>
>Neither do Californians -- dood.

	I've waited and waited, but nobody else has seen fit to explain
the very logical reasoning behind pronouncing "wash" with an 'r' in it.
See, there needs to be a method of distinguishing the intent to remove
dirt from some thing or place.  Consequently, removing the dirt from
your clothing is known as "warshing" them, while watching half of the
topsoil on the back 40 run into the Missouri river is "washing," as in
"Hey Paw, the garden's done washed into the ditch over yonder."  Note
the subtle distinction.  Naturally, this idea extends to other areas,
such as place names.  It's "Washington" monument because it should be
fairly obvious that a white phallic symbol is already free of dirt,
and hence there is none to unintentionally be removed, while the city
is "Warshington, D.C." due to the fact that all citizens wish to rid
the place of dirt and slime (also known as Congress) intentionally,
the fact that this seems impossible notwithstanding.

	So there you have it, the product of several decades of speaking
traditions and half a glass of homebrew on the part of yours truly.


--
<Daniel R. Sorenson   Dod #1066  |If Iowa State University agreed with me >
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu <- work |I'd make $90K/yr.  They don't, I don't. >
<viking@iastate.edu      <- play |"I am *not* goofing off.  I am driving  >
< myself mercilessly in the pursuit of relaxation." -- T. Weeds           >
From: steveb@cernvax.cern.ch (Steve Bougerolle)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Beef(was: Cold Showers)
Date: 10 Apr 92 15:39:00 GMT
Organization: CERN, Geneva, Switzerland

In <x2rj86h@lynx.unm.edu> baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin) writes:

>	Since you eat it well-done you know nothing about beef. You
>are probably an expert in shoe leather and near charcoal, however. 
>The only time a piece of beef should be cooked this way is if it is
>a truely lousy piece of meat and you are trying to cover that fact up.

If a steak is properly cooked (ie well-done) it WILL be juicy and WILL
taste very good.  People like you who equate "well-done" with "shoe leather"
have obviously never had a properly cooked steak.  If you had, you wouldn't
say something so damned silly.

A vulcanised rubber steak is NOT well-done, it is merely vulcanised.  Any
idiot can cook a steak through.  That doesn't mean that the way the idiot
did it is the proper way to cook a steak.

As for your story about the Texan:  Hahahahahahahahah - save it!  All my
family on both sides are ranchers.  One side has been in the business for
75 years, the other for 125.  I've fed calves, branded them, herded cattle,
butchered my own meat, and cooked and eaten literally hundreds and hundreds
of steaks.  Work it out yourself, dude - we eat our own beef to save money.
A steak a week for 20-odd(*) years adds up to a lot of beef.

In other words, I'm not impressed with your third-hand "reflected glory"
story about the Texan.  Not impressed at all.  In fact, it was pretty
pathetic.  Since you have no real wisdom of your own on the subject, please
go away and don't open your mouth until you've improved yourself.

(*) - Although I'm 26 I didn't eat steak till I had teeth, of course, and
 my beef consumption dropped markedly when I moved away from Alberta and had
 to start paying for the stuff.
-- 
_|\ |V| /|_  Steve Bougerolle, U. of British Columbia Physics Dept.
\  \| |/  /   and the OPAL experiment, CERN, Geneva CH
 >_______<    STEVEB@CERNVAX.UUCP  STEVEB@CERNVM.CERN.CH
     !        STEVEB@CERNVM.BITNET  45397::STEVEB (HEPnet)
From: malc@pyramid.unr.edu (Malcolm L. Carlock)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Towns Named After Game Shows (Was: PREscriptions, subsiDIARY...)
Date: 6 Apr 92 07:08:51 GMT
Reply-To: malc@pyramid.unr.edu (Malcolm L. Carlock)
Organization: Xinaian Tourist Bureau

In article <ATAYLOR.92Apr2153706@karnaugh.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
>
><!peeve: that I don't live in a town with a silly name like "Truth or
><Consequences", 
>
>	Europeevers may not believe that name, but it's just
>	up the road. I think it was changed in the 1950's.

Don't forget Santa Claus, AZ, somewhere between Las Vegas (NV) and Tucson.

On the other hand, does this even count as a town?  It's got an Official
Green Sign as one approaches it on the highway, but if I remember right,
all it consists of is one or two buildings surrounded by garden-gnome-type
Santa Clauses and elves, Xmas decorations, fake snow etc.  Fun to drive
past, though.

Peeve:  The place has always been closed down whenever I've driven past it,
	so I've never had a chance to grill the owner regarding what the
	place was all about.  Anyone know?

>	Locally, the town is called "T or C", although some
>	call it "TORC" (pronounced Tork).

I've always wondered about this.

--
ObTerrorWeapon1:  Bagpipes.
                                      .
ObTerrorWeapon2:  Clannad's _Caislean Or_ played at high volume, and with
		  great suddenness, at 3:30 a.m.
--
Malcolm L. Carlock                      Internet:  malc@unr.edu
                                        UUCP:      unr!malc
                                        BITNET:    malc@equinox
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Geographic areas
Date: 8 Apr 92 00:31:55 GMT
Article-I.D.: netcom.=jqj!kn.rickg
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia

In article <ku4940INN5d0@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> Tricky Gnosis writes:

>In article <167C2F918.ELLBRUA@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu> ELLBRUA@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu
>(The Lemming) writes:
>
>>Actually, Walt Disney heard about lemmings' suicidal tendencies and
>>decided to do one of his nature films about it.  He went to Scandinavia
>>and found out that lemmings don't jump off cliffs.  He wanted to film
>>it though, so he made his film crew chase them over the cliffs and filmed
>>that.  Truly horrible.
> 
>Cool!  I liked the part at the end, where hundreds of limp, dead little 
>lemming bodies wash up on shore, gently rolling back and forth in the 
>surf.
>
>But how did they round up so many of the little skcumbeagcs on such short 
>notice?   That's what *I* wanna know!

Mr. Miller, if this has *anything* to do with that science fair project
you have due next Monday, I can tell you right now there's *no* extension
in the cards for you.

And that poster entitled "Squicking: The Aztec Ritual Humiliation Unmasked" 
has already been rejected.

>Geoff

-- 
Rick Gordon       |  "A musicologist is a person who can read music 
rickg@netcom.com  |   but can't hear it." -- Sir T. Beecham
From: sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com (Bruce Tindall)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: QuasiKrautFussing
Date: 15 Apr 92 18:29:46 GMT
Organization: SAS Institute Inc.
Originator: sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com
X-Bytes: 1287

In article <1992Apr14.172536.12678@dvorak.amd.com>, monson@diablo.amd.com (Steve Monson) writes:
>Still, my favorite German word (recalled for these many years since the
>eight grade, where I learned it) is "die Verkehrstreifenpolizistenmutze,"
>(with umlaut-u) or "the hat of the policeman on traffic duty".

Back in the 1960s an Austrian satirical singer (their equivalent of
Tom Lehrer) had a song entitled "Du lieber Donaudampfschiffahrts-
gesellschaftskapitaen" ("You dear Danube-steam-ship-transport-company-
capitan.")  I think this was on the same record as his "Telephone
Book Polka" in which he simply opened the Vienna phone book to the
"V" page and started signing a multicultural hodgepodge of German,
East European, and Italian surnames in alphabetical order.

There really is a Donau Dampschiffahrtsgesellschaft, but I think they
separate the name into 2 words as shown in this sentence.  Still
pretty impressive once you tack "(-s)kapitaen" onto the end of it.

ObPeeve:  Languages (like English) without the guts to string
6 nouns together into one word, or (even wimpier, like Spanish)
that never put lots of nouns in a row and use "de la" and the
like in order to make things clearer.  (NOT.)
-- 
Bruce Tindall, Core Testing Manager, SAS Institute Inc., Cary NC 27513
From: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us (poultry in motion)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Quayle, bullies, 'n things (was Re: Lemon Gin, Rape)
Date: 9 Apr 92 22:26:48 GMT
Organization: The People's Number Four Cat Farm, Berkeley CA, USA

ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering) writes:

>"Frank Mastrioanno, a counselor at Thomas S. Wootton High School in 
> Rockville, MD, trains students in peer counseling in order to deal with
> problems like bullying.

Oh shit, even ROCKVILLE has psychobabble like this in the schools?

No doubt it has been made worse by the ever-increasing amount of required
"low income housing" that the federal gov't has required communities to
put in.  Twenty-five years ago, it wasn't so bad, but it hasn't improved!

-- 
real address: bandy@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice:  lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy

"It's not an adult feature unless someone's gooey at the end."
 -- Bill Hicks
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: rickg@netcom.com (Rick Gordon)
Subject: Re: Gender assumptions
Date: Thu, 09 Apr 92 14:13:57 GMT
Organization: Netcom - SF Bay, Cal Northifornia 
Summary: The English language takes another lurch toward total obfuscation
Followup-To: alt.peeves

In article <92099.222854SEK@psuvm.psu.edu> Sonja Kueppers writes:

> [ ... ]
>AntiPeeve: That I'm going to experience people having sex in about 48
>hours. ;-)

What mean, Sonja?  This isn't one a those virtual reality things, is it?
Hope not.

>RelatedPeeve: That my primary relationship partner lives 4 hours away.

"Primary relationship partner"?  God help us, it's another jackalmouthed
obfuscatory euphemism, and one I've never seen before.  PRP.  Pronounced
in moments of abandoned passion "pirp", presumably.

This sounds like a term an android would use to describe (affectionately)
a sweetheart.

>-Sonja

-- 
Rick Gordon       |  "A musicologist is a person who can read music 
rickg@netcom.com  |   but can't hear it." -- Sir T. Beecham 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@isis.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: Smoking Surrogate
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 92 04:08:03 GMT

JMS111@psuvm.psu.edu (Jenni Sheehey) writes:

>ObWierdness: Really fat people who wear shorts on the first day the
>temperature goes over 60F.  If I weighed, say, 250 lbs, I sure wouldn't
>be rushing the shorts season.  However, I've seen probably four of them
>today in shorts, and they were all female.  Go figure.


That way their largesse doesn't have as much cloth between those velvet
thighs to wear through and chafe on.  Really fat women have darkened skin/
callouses on their buttocks where the skin has chafed together over the
decades.  Same is probably true with their luscious thighs.  Oh baby.
Time to go punish Cap'n Blinky now at the mere thought of it.
--
"Wow!  That was intense!"
"A repo man's always intense." - after car chase with (hispanic) brothers