HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Strange Place Names (English)
Date: 27 Jan 93 19:15:22 GMT
Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA

gavin@info.nara-k.ac.jp (Gavin R. Brock) writes:
> 
>   In Scotland too there are some rounded mountains like this on the Island
>   of Jura. Their called the "Paps of Jura", paps being ancient Scottish
>   (Gaelic maybe :-) for tits.
> 
>   So a Scottish friend of mine said anyway, ;-)
> 
>   Gav.

Hence, Pap Smear?

--                    
INTERNET:  tumidity@netlink.cts.com (Joel Garry)
UUCP:   ...!ryptyde!netlink!tumidity
NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: umwawry1@ccu.umanitoba.ca (Brian Frank Wawryk)
Subject: Re: list request
Keywords: list,help,driving
Organization: University of Manitoba, Winnipeg, Canada
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 04:40:48 GMT

>moi aussi

>(I WANT IT TO!)

bosaifn lsafnbod dasr fawrk noddestra ki!!!

(Fuck off with the me too's!!!)

        ----------------------------------------------------------
       /\ \\\\        **** \   Brian F. Wawryk                    \
      ///\   \\\\    ****   \   University of Mantioba             \
     /////\     \\\\****     \   Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada         \
    ///////\       \\\\       \   e-mail: umwawry1@ccu.umanitoba.ca  \
   /////////\     ****\\\\     \                                      \
   ----------\   ****    \\\\   \   "Give it all you got...            \
              \ ****        \\\\ \    then borrow from your neighbour." \
               ----------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: rec.humor,aus.jokes
From: bobk@gibdo.engr.washington.edu (Bob)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: waxwork clinton
Date: 23 Jan 1993 07:24:56 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: gibdo.engr.washington.edu

mlsdb1sab@dct.ac.uk (Steven Byers) writes:
| I was watcing the news last night and they were showing you the new waxwork
| model of bill clinton.
| 
| 
| 
| is it just me or does the expressin on it's face look like someone just
| shoved a sausage up his bum

  That is just his expression when he tries to look "presidential."
  Check out this week's TIME magazine -- it's the same look.  He is
  trying hard to look like John F. Kennedy, but he really looks like
  he's got something shoved up his butt.

  By the way, Clinton and his gang of yuppies are mad at you Brits.
  They think you supported Bush during the election.
  ==

  Bob
From: nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Smiley anyone?
Date: 22 Jan 93 09:38:38 -0600
Organization: Memphis State University

In article <1993Jan21.235806.5350@cs.wisc.edu>, dws@ssec.wisc.edu (DaviD W. Sanderson) writes:
> In article <1993Jan20.121339.29406@bernina.ethz.ch> mat14@tarski.math.ethz.ch (MathLab 14) writes:
>>I don't know if this is the right newsgroup but I am searching for any
>>kind of smiley's.
> 
> My smiley program (containing the largest and most comprehensive
> collection of smileys ever posted) was most recently posted in
> comp.sources.misc, volume 23.  See your nearby comp.sources.misc
> archive site to obtain it.
> 
> Or, wait for my smiley book, to be published by O'Reilly this spring.
> 
> The comp.sources.misc index line:
> 
> v23i102   smiley/part01      smiley - smiley server, version 4, Part01/01
> 
> Here are a few anonymous FTP sites and paths:
> 
> wuarchive.wustl.edu:
> 	usenet/comp.sources.misc/volume23/smiley/part01.Z
> ftp.uu.net:
> 	usenet/comp.sources.misc/volume23/smiley/part01.Z
> 
> Ask your system administrator if you don't know what anonymous FTP is.
> 
> DaviD W. Sanderson (dws@ssec.wisc.edu)
> 
> 	"The Noah Webster of smileys is David Sanderson"
> 		- The Wall Street Journal, 15 Sep 1992

David we are all just so proud of you. Now, why don't you take the next
logical step and quietly start collecting ASCII art for you next project.
Can I emphasize the word quietly?

-- 

oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo
oo1oo     Binary 4s all around.  And a "bit-bird" to you too!     oo1oo
oo1oo   ------------------------------------------------------    oo1oo
oo1oo    Some people don't know the difference between a grin     oo1oo
oo1oo    and a grimace.  /s/Dennis (nealhd@memstvx1.memst.edu)    oo1oo
oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: Read this in case of fire.
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 16:05:24 GMT

In article <1993Jan26.194206.9458W@viper.edb.tih.no> terjej@edb.tih.no (Terje Johansen,o90b) writes:
>In article <JIM.93Jan25145209@fuji.eng.yale.edu>, jim@fuji.eng.yale.edu (James J. Szinger) writes:
>
>
>>In article <del.727947858@hawk> del@hawk.adied.oz.au (D Elson) writes:
>>
>>
>>In case of fire do not use elevators.
>>
>>Use water.
>There's a hole in the bucket.
Well, fix it.

> 
>-- 
>Terje Johansen at Trondheim College of Engineering, Norway.
>
>War isn't fought to decide who is right
>   but who is left.


-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH5/2453
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-9163
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com (Larry Gilmore)
Subject: Re: Read this in case of fire.
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: TRW Systems Engineering & Development Division, Carson, CA
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 20:42:25 GMT

In article <82034@hydra.gatech.EDU> gt4278b@prism.gatech.EDU (Jensulu) writes:
>>>>In case of fire do not use elevators.
>>>>
>>>>Use water.
>>>There's a hole in the bucket.
>>Well, fix it.
>With what shall I fix it?
With a straw.

-- 
Larry A. Gilmore             Internet: gilmore@venice.sedd.trw.com
TRW SEDD, DH5/2453
P.O. Box 6213                Phone:    (310)764-9163
Carson, CA 90746             Fax:      (310)764-3946
From: lee@bigvax.alfred.edu (Mike Lee)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Don't touch that dial (was Re: Funny Radio station name..........)
Date: 28 Jan 93 00:41:59 GMT
Reply-To: lee@bigvax.alfred.edu

In article <1993Jan25.134557.28543@bmerh85.bnr.ca> mleipe@bnr.ca (Mike Leipe)  
writes:
# In article <C1Bv21.HqH@news2.cis.umn.edu>, rgeorge@barracuda.micro.umn.edu  
(Rogers George) writes:
# |> [stuff deleted]
# |> at the univ. of Minnesota, the campus radio call letters are derived
# |> somehow from the campus the station's at. So, at the main campus we have
# |> (boooo-ring) KUOM. But those lucky folks up at the University of
# |> Minnesota, Morris campus have...
# |> you guessed it...
# |> KUMM.
# |> According to an ex who dj'd there, there was a sex & bondage - themed
# |> program.
# |>  
# |> rgeorge@staff.tc.umn.edu
# |> 
# 
# When I was living near Penticton, British Columbia, ten years ago, they
# had a radio station called CKOK.  They *never* "pronounced" it over the
# air, though...

If you live in the Bay Area (in California) then you must be familiar
with the radio station KOME.
Well, several years ago the radio station had an ad about not turning the
dial, you know, the regular "Don't touch that dial, we'll be right back."
Anyway, this radio station's ad said, "Don't touch that dial, it has KOME
all over it."

--
You know what would make a good story?  Something about a clown 
who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad.  Also, he has 
severe diarrhea.

                         Jack Handy

judson@watserv.ucr.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: blevenso@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Bryan D Levenson)
Subject: Re: The Cascade that didn't fall
Organization: The Ohio State University
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 15:15:52 GMT

In article <1993Jan27.140650.8144@cbfsb.cb.att.com> sas@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (s.a
.sullivan) writes:
>In article <JANECZKO.93Jan27082510@csd630a.erim.org> janeczko@csd630a.erim.org
 (Mike Janeczko) writes:
>>In <C1H86o.MwK@news.udel.edu> wilhited@brahms.udel.edu (Douglas Ben Wilhite)
wr\
>>ites:
>>>The cascade that did not fall began with an orange.
>>But little did you know about the rusted door hinge.
>>alas I got drunk, I was on a binge....
(Oy! There doin' it again.)
(Now I want to cringe.)
From: stern@herald.usask.ca (Bill Stern)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Another test
Date: 23 Jan 93 23:00:23 GMT
Organization: University of Saskatchewan
NNTP-Posting-Host: herald.usask.ca
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL7]


This is just a test.
From: idh@nessie.mcc.ac.uk (Ian Hawkins)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Stupid names
Date: 21 Jan 93 21:52:38 GMT
Organization: Manchester Computing Centre

In article <30560@castle.ed.ac.uk> robinv@castle.ed.ac.uk (Robin Vickery) writes:
>In article <C14qqy.Aoy@ccu.umanitoba.ca>, ebrahim@ee.umanitoba.ca (Mohamad Ebrahimi) writes:
>|> 
>|>    The most stupis name I have ever heard is the British Shetland Islands, which by
>|>    the way, these days are real " Shitland "!
>
>
>Funny, very very funny, christ you have a wicked sense of humour don't you.
>I havn't had such a good laugh since Exxon Valdez. I mean a catastrophic
>environmental disaster covering one of the richest habitats in Europe is 
>definitely the most sidesplitting hilarious joke. what I find funniest of all though is that the company owning the tanker was American.
>If you find what happened to the shetland isles amusing then why not post
>your views to alt.sadism.
>ok so I'm pissed off at the moment and my sense of humour is temporarily
>out the window but I can't be bothered to go to alt.flame and that joke was
>definitely *NOT* in good taste.
>	-rob
>
> _____    _____    _____  
>|  _  \  |     |  |  _  \    Rob Vickery - rmv@uk.ac.ed.dcs        |||||
>|     <  |  X  |  |  _  <                                         ( o o )
>|__|\__> |_____|  |_____/       Murphy was an optimist       --ooO--(_)--Ooo--

The original posting should have gone to wreck.humour perhaps ?.
From: amigan@cup.portal.com (Mike - Medwid)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Somalia Fast Food
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 93 11:01:12 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: na

Have you heard that since all the publicity, fast food joints are rushing
to Somalia?  One's even installing a "crawl-up" window.  
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: wilhited@brahms.udel.edu (Douglas Ben Wilhite)
Subject: The Cascade that didn't fall
Organization: University of Delaware
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 19:44:47 GMT



The cascade that did not fall began with an orange.
From: pv02@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (PETER VOROBIEFF)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Strange Place Names (English)
Date: 23 Jan 93 23:36:29 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <C19uy9.AtL@acsu.buffalo.edu>, v140pxgt@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Daniel B Case) writes:
>In article <45092@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU>, jmcd@cea.berkeley.edu (John McDonald) writes...
>> 
>>Well, i was perusing the latest Europe map sent out
>>by National Geographic.  There's a town about 60km
>>south of Minsk in Belarus called.....Slutsk!
>

I must disappoint you fellow netters. That town is not swarming with the
kind of females the name suggests. BTW, in Russian (or Byelorussian) it
is also a funny-sounding name, to some extent, as one of the meanings of
"slutchatsya" is "to copulate". However, the other meaning is "to occur".
 ^^^^

-- 
---
Thus spake Kalmoth the Dreaded, Bane of the Forests of Gnoy.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: jil@uts.uucp (Jamie Lubin)
Subject: Re: Earthquake Songs
Organization: Bellcore, Piscataway, NJ
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 93 15:09:48 GMT
Keywords: music, earthquake

In article <1993Jan21.031055.11923@pony.Ingres.COM> garrett@Ingres.COM (We need stronger death penalties) writes:
>In article <1993Jan20.043752.26835@leland.Stanford.EDU>, calliope@leland.Stanford.EDU (Joanna Salgado)     writes...
>>Okay, everyone.  What I need is a list of earthquake songs to play
>>when disaster strikes.
>> 
>>Examples: "All Shook Up"  Elvis (is alive)
>>          "I Feel the Earth Move"   Carole King
>> 
>"Shakin'"  Eddie Money

Shake Me, Wake Me (When It's Over)-4 Tops
I Can Never Go Home Anymore-Shangri-las
Bits & Pieces_Dave Clark 5
Reelin' & Rockin'-Chuck Berry or Dave Clark 5
Suddenly There's A Valley-Gogi Grant
Going In Circles-Friends Of Distinction
Only The Strong Survive-Jerry Butler
From: gk@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Gavin Kerr)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: list request
Keywords: list,help,driving
Date: 22 Jan 93 19:53:59 GMT
Reply-To: gk@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Gavin Kerr)
Organization: Laboratory for the Foundations of Computer Science, Edinburgh U

In article <21599@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu> ez000345@othello.ucdavis.edu writes:
>
>Hello:
>
>A while back someone posted a copy of the excuses people gave for accidents
>that they had, but I can't find my copy.  Could anyone email me or post 
>it?  
>
>The excuses were like: "He didn't move, so I hit him"
>		       "I swerved to miss the dog and hit the pedestrian."
>
>Thanks!  (there was a couple pages of them)
>
>--Val (valuck@ucdavis.edu)

moi aussi

(I WANT IT TO!)

Gav : gk@dcs.ed.ac.uk  gk@castle.ed.ac.uk  gkerr@nyx.cs.du.edu

*******************************************************************************
Is this going to involve RAW human ecstasy?
*******************************************************************************
From: clark@kiwi.gen.nz (Clark Mills)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: This is a test
Date: 25 Jan 93 11:35:05 GMT
Organization: Household UNIX, Auckland, New Zealand
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

david@shakala.com (David Pratt) writes:
>>>>>>>>This is a test.
>>>>>>>Be my guest.
>>>>>>cascade fest
>>>>>Surely you jest.
>>>>Is that your BEST?
>>>Give it a rest.
>(sigh) Such a pest.
A pest I detest.
From: sme3@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (SCOTT MATTHEW ESTRIN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Misc Traffic Rules
Date: 23 Jan 93 18:21:51 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1jqsajINNgoo@flop.ENGR.ORST.EDU>, bosticj@storm.CS.ORST.EDU (Macro..
<Jason Bostick>) writes:
>
>
>This is Wrong
>>Red means stop.
>>Green means go.
>>Yellow means... ACCELERATE!!!!!!!
>Yellow means....Go real fast.  (in calm voice) Jeff Bridges.."Starman"
>
Ordinarily that is correct... and I see you've been watching your old movies.

But what does red mean at 3:00 am where there is not another car in sight?
-- 

---
This is my signature file.  D'ya like it?  Huh?  Huh?  Do ya?  Do ya?  Huh?
                                                    -sme3@Lehigh.EDU
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: pw15@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Philip  Wang)
Subject: Re: Fortunes for cookies wanted!
Keywords: Fortunes - fortune cookies
Reply-To: pw15@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Philip  Wang)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 02:29:09 GMT

In article <bbrett.727921653@morgan> bbrett@morgan.ucs.mun.ca (Betsy Brett) writes:
>
>I am making fortune cookies for a party this Friday.  I'd like some
>funny fortunes to put in them, and my list is rather limited.  Any and
>all (even crude) are welcome.  It will be a small party, but a wide
>range of personalities.  Thanks alot!!!
>
Well, how juveinle do you want it to be? Or do you want sophisticated humor?
Not fortune cookies, but back in high school on Valentine's Day we had these
candies that were shaped like "hearts" with messages on them like "Hot stuff"
or "Be my valentine," etc. and so we rubbed them off and with a red pen wrote
"Go fuck yourself" and things of that nature. What was cool was when people 
didn't read what we wrote but just popped the candy in their mouth. Very
sophomoric but entertaining at the time.

wei hao
Wang Wei Hao                            E-mail at pw15@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu
"I have loved, I have lost, I have killed those who have loved me so. I have 
 learned, but at what cost, Lord, I don't know... I'm living on borrowed time"
                       - Diamond Head, "Living On Borrowed Time"
From: jrobert@lab4.smcm.edu (Jess Roberts)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: vacation idea
Date: 27 Jan 93 18:15:54 GMT

here's a great idea for a vacation business...(no flames)
 
You know how they have fantasy baseball camps where you go spend a week with all your favorite old-timers, and learn a game you love from the people that do it best?  Well, why not take out two birds wi 
 
th one stone?  Your wife wants that fur coat for Christmas, and she's been nagging yu for a vacation for weeks...come to our place, and your worry's will melt away like snow...That's right, at Club Club, you not only learn the intricacies of clubbing seals, you learn the history, clothing, equipment, and mystique that makes clubbing baby seals the family fun that it is today.  Your week will include:   
	Three meals a day of freshly caught dolphin (we wanted tuna)
	A warm cozy cabin, heated with nature's finest, coal
	Elegant Feather beds (Do-Do)
	Creating and customizing your own implement 
		(ivory, or amazon wood)
	Training with the world's best clubber, Akahito Toshi
	Boat cruise on one of our fine Exxon vessels
	Make your own coat day
Give us a call!
1800-VALDEZ1
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: hloedolf@cs.sun.ac.za (Hans Loedolff)
Subject: Re: As much use as..
Reply-To: hloedolf@cs.sun.ac.za
Organization: Stellenbosch University, South Africa
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 14:27:46 GMT

Alan Wilson (awilson@kralizec.zeta.org.au) wrote:
> mitchell@helios.usq.EDU.AU (leslie mitchell) writes:

> >How about:   As useless as an ashtray on a motorbike.
> >--

> Or what about:

> As much use as a box of matches in the desert.

Look, I'm actualy only testing the "follow up" command...

OJ:

As much use as government in Africa.

(well, anywhere)
From: mwilson@csugrad.cs.vt.edu (Zaphod Beeblebrox)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Earthquake Songs
Date: 21 Jan 93 23:09:20 GMT
Organization: Virginia Tech Computer Science Dept, Blacksburg, VA

In article <1993Jan20.212753.9403@gossip.urich.edu> carrdavid@urvax.urich.edu writes:
>>Okay, everyone.  What I need is a list of earthquake songs to play
>>when disaster strikes.
>>
>>Examples: "All Shook Up"  Elvis (is alive)
>>          "I Feel the Earth Move"   Carole King
>>
>>
>>Any Suggestions?


AC/DC   She shook me all night Long.



-- 
| Mike Wilson | You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.         |
|   Va Tech   | If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.    |
|  UnderGrad  | You can choose from phantom fears, and kindness that can kill |
|Comp. Science| I will chose a path that's clear, I will chose Free Will.-RUSH|
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sabinemd@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Michael Sabine)
Subject: joke
Keywords: joke
Organization: Purdue University
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 18:20:11 GMT

   What do you call a room full of women half with PMS and half with
   yeast infections?

	    A wine and cheese party.

					 - Mike

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu (Scott A. Rust)
Subject: Re: Cascading
Organization: Gallaudet University English Department
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 15:53:24 GMT

In article <29877@ursa.bear.com>, young@gummi.bear.com (Eric Youngblood) writes:
> Marc Siegel (smarc@mas.uucp) wrote:
> : splummer@abacus.bates.edu (Sarah Plummer) writes:
> : > Can I request all cascades that end up being started from test files or
> : > other things, be sent to alt.cascade?  I don't think they belong on
> : > rec.humor, because I don't find them funny.  I'm sure I am not the only
> : > one.  Please don't do it anymore.  Thank you.
> : Squeeze bone through it, Denny Moore. Skank you.
> Jeez, phone Kuwait, maybe war. Spank you.
Please, hook the bait, cold and poor, Wank you.



_______           

		Scott A. Rust | "A stupid person can do anything
	 Gallaudet University |           except think."
  sarust@gallua.gallaudet.edu |                  - J.R. "Bob" Dobbs

		   "Why? Why because I laugh."
                                    - Sherwood Anderson -
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: mpeever@uvphys.phys.uvic.ca (Mark Peever)
Subject: Re: Jim Bolushi films
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.3-4   
Reply-To: mpeever@uvphys.phys.uvic.ca
Organization: UVic, Physics & Astronomy, Victoria, BC
Distribution:  world
Date: 27 JAN 93 17:02:08    

>In article <C1J3qo.Lx9@news.cso.uiuc.edu> am49469@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Alexander Mesin ) writes:
>>From: am49469@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Alexander Mesin )
>>Subject: Jim Bolushi films
>>Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 20:03:59 GMT
>>I am trying to get a list of movies that Jim Bolushi has played in.  So far,
>>I only have five:
>>
>>About Last Night
>>Red Heat
>>Taking Care of Business
>>Real Men
>>K-9
>>
>>I am sure there are more, but I can't think of them.  I home some of you
>>can help.  Thanks a lot
>>.
>>
>The Principal


Once Upon a Crime
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: rdippold@qualcom.qualcomm.com (Ron Dippold)
Subject: Re: clinton likes monty python ?
Organization: Qualcomm, Inc., San Diego, CA
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 18:48:48 GMT

bongo@DIALix.oz.au (John Bongiovanni) writes:
>In <2412@blue.cis.pitt.edu> babar+@pitt.edu (Jonggu Moon) writes:
>>On NPR's show "Fresh Air" a guy from SNL pointed out that
>>the band played the theme song to Monty Python's tv show
>>as part of the prelude to Clinton's taking the oath.

>It's called "The Liberty Bell", which suggests other possible reasons.

A pronounced sense of irony?

-- 
The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't.
From: wolvie@cybernet.cse.fau.edu (christopher motherway)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Stone-Age Prenuptuals
Date: 25 Jan 93 18:25:01 GMT
Organization: Cybernet BBS, Boca Raton, Florida

The local newspaper, the Sun-Sentinel, recently posted a little tidbit in 
Sunday's Lifestyle section about an interesting event which will happen 
on ABC's prime time on Feb. 7th.  The article read that, after all this 
time, Pebbles Flintstone and Bamm-Bamm Rubble are finally going to get 
married!  It went on to state that Pebbles (who, BTW, was sporting a 
short-haired look in the photo of the article) is an assistant to an 
advertiser and Bamm-Bamm is a auto mechanic.  Athough this sounds a 
little too much like the Amy Fisher story, I'm sure this marriage will be 
the wedding of the century (40000th Century B.C., that is!).

But, what if it isn't?  What if the long-lasting relationship is ripped 
by marriage problems?  This is your assignment:  Put together some 
clauses for a pre-nuptual agreement between the future Mr. and Mrs. 
Bamm-Bamm Rubble.  Hell, include Fred, Wilma, Betty, Barney, Dino, Hoppy, 
even Gazoo into it.  And, most importantly, make it FUNNY!!!

BTW, if anyone else caught sight of a similar article announcing the 
engagement, let me know.  I wanna see if South Florida news writers are 
the only ones who actually gave a shit about this!

Chris Wolvie

----------
Abba...Dabba...Goo!  --  Pebbles' first words.
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: Chris@sound.demon.co.uk (Chris J Lamb)
ReplyTo: Chris@sound.demon.co.uk
Subject: Re: Uses for a ZX81
Distribution: world
X-Mailer: cppnews $Revision: 1.19 $
Organization: Sound & Vision BBS (UK) 0932 252323
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 22:38:05 +0000


In article <C1903H.C2L@brunel.ac.uk> Steve.Lake@brunel.ac.uk (Steve M Lake) writes:

>Hi, I'm looking for some new uses for a ZX81. I've got a few, but i'm
>sure that you lot can come up with much better ones.
>
>The ones that I have are :
>
>A doorstop
>A Bootscraper
>A Frisbee
>A Cheese board
>A Computer........NOT

Here's an old one we spectrum owners used to love.


What's the difference between a shoebox and a ZX81?

A ZX81 has wires coming out the side of it.


O--------------------------------------------------------------------------O
| "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." |
|                                     - Inigo Montoya "The Princess Bride" |
O----------------------------------O----------------------------O----------O
|InterNet - Chris@Sound.Demon.Co.Uk| QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM |Chris Lamb|
O----------------------------------O----------------------------O----------O
| Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones    |
| neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh,      |
| because what is that thing.                                              |
O--------------------------------------------------------------------------O
Newsgroups: rec.humor