From: Hal Muskat <hmuskat@igc.apc.org>
Subject: HUMOR: I intro'ed Clinton to KGB
Followup-To: alt.activism.d
Originator: rich@pencil.cs.missouri.edu
Organization: ?
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 22:11:06 GMT

/* Written 12:14 pm  Oct  9, 1992 by hmuskat@igc.apc.org in igc:pn.opinions */
/* ---------- "MUSKAT: I intro'ed Clinton to KGB" ---------- */
How I introduced Gov. Bill Clinton to the KGB.

One rainy day in the late '60's I was walking the streets of
London looking for an anti-American demonstration. They weren't
hard to find in those days. Americans, with the help of Russian
espionage agents were leading demonstrations in foreign capitals
all over the world. All you had to do was look for a hippie and a
guy following him. They were all over the place.

I was with a wonderful, multi-lingual Russian woman I had met the
night before in Trafalger Square who was involved in a Lebanese
hash smuggling operation that was being financed by the Israeli
Secret Police with American script issued by MACV in Vietnam.
We called it, Light At The End Of The Tunnel Money.

Rasha & I were sitting in a Bimbo Hamburger place when Bill
Clinton and a few buddies wearing jeans & Oxfords came in looking
for action & burgers.  Rasha & I recognized a few of the guys from
previous anti-American demos and introductions were made. She
asked me to move aside so Bill could sit between us. She was
obviously taken in by his wavy locks and throaty voice.  And,
being the highly trained espionage agent she was, could tell he
would amount to something. This was before Hillary and Bill was
just another student unable to inhale when Rasha covertly slipped
off her underpants and stuffed them beneath his dayglo t-shirt. He
then took his draft notice and rolled it up into a ball and gently
placed it beneath between her breasts underneath her t-shirt. The
last I saw of Rasha she was leading Bill up to the loft we had
shared just a few hours before.

I thought she was KGB cause she was really into sex. In American
high schools, we were taught that Russians were just communists,
interested only in some manifesto or something having to do with
burying us, and with no interest in culture, romance or sexuality
that didn't have anything to do with the space program.

For the rest of my stay in London, whenever I saw Bill, he was in
Rasha's company. Sometimes, there would be several folks in dark
raincoats following them but Bill seemed not to notice or care. He
was totally taken in by Rasha's long legs which were not hidden
very well by her mini-skirt. I thought he was the total southern
gentleman, opening the taxi door for her and squatting down to
help her pivot around in the seat.

She would whisper things in his ear. I overheard once as she
passed the bowl. "Bill," but it sounded like Beale, "You are
patriot, yes?"

"Why, yes, Rasha, I am a patriot," he replied earnestly and
unequivocally.

"And you oppose your country's war in Vietnam?"

"Yes, I do Rasha. Wanna have sex again?"

"Yes, Beale, I do, but I must recruit you also."

"I will do anything for you Rasha. For whom are you recruiting? I
won't go in the army & forget the reserves and the guard. That's
for rich kids like that Quayl guy up in Indiana who wants to be a
politician. His father could have gotten me into the Indiana
Guard, but I'm a Rhodes Scholar and Danny said they didn't have
those in Indiana. Anti-American."

"It does not matter for whom I recruit," she replied, expertly
parroting his speech patterns for which she had been trained.
"Would you like to come to Moscow and meet my sisters?"

"Do they like sex too?"

And so it came to pass that Bill Clinton, soon to be Governor of
Arkansas and President of the United States of America accompanied
Rasha to Moscow where he met her sisters and what ever red
bloodied American now knows as truth, was trained KGB without his
knowledge and sent back to London, seat of international protests
against the American war in Vietnam to organize other students.
During this period he was also trained by Rasha in statesmanship
in preparation for his foray into electoral politics.

That's why Arkansas has been a commie satellite all these years
and how Bill Clinton lost the war in Vietnam.