From: Bucky.Whaley@launchpad.unc.edu (Bucky Whaley)
Subject: The Wrath of Moe 
Summary: When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna...
Organization: The Lutefisk Watch, Psychotic Young Mice Research Team
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 20:12:14 GMT

Since Moe is to epithets and threats as Itchy is to knives, guns,   
bombs, trains, and any deadly instrument at hand, I submit for your,
um, enjoyment a list of his responses to Bart's crank phone calls:

[list o' pranks taken from the FAQ]

>3.8)   What phone pranks has Bart used on Moe of Moe's Tavern?
>
>         7G03:  Hey, everybody, I. P. Freeley!

                 Listen to me, you lousy bum.  When I get a hold of 
                 you, you're dead.  I swear I'm gonna slice your heart 
                 in half.

>         7G06:  Hey, everybody, I need a Jock Strap.
                 [should be:  Hey, guys, I'm lookin' for a Jacques
                              Strap.]

                 It's you, isn't it, you cowardly little runt.  When I
                 get a hold of you, I am gonna gut you like a fish 
                 and drink your blood. 
          
>         7G01:  Is there an Al Coholic here?  ... and ...

                 Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass [?].   
                 If I ever find out who you are, I'll kill you.

>                I wanna see Oliver Klose-off.
                 [should be:  Call for Oliver Klose-off.]

                 [no response from Moe]

>         7F11:  I wanna Seymour Butts.

                 Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket.  When I
                 get my hands on you, I'm gonna poke out your eyeballs
                 with a corkscrew.

>         7F14:  C'mon, one o' you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual.
          [should be:  7F15]

                 You rotten little punk.  If I ever get a hold of you, 
                 I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face
                 off.

>         7F22:  Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?

                 Listen to me, you little puke.  One of these days I'm
                 gonna catch you and I'm gonna carve my name on your 
                 butt with an icepick.

>         8F08:  Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!

                 [no response from Moe because Hugh Jass takes the call]

>         8F09:  Come on guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?

                 Listen, you.  When I get a hold of you I'm gonna use
                 your head for a bucket and paint my house with your
                 brains.
                  
>         9F06:  Where can I find Amanda Hugginkiss?  ... and ...
                 [should be:  Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?]

                 You little s.o.b.  If I ever find out who you are,
                 I'm gonna shove a sausage down your throat and 
                 stick starving dogs in your butt.

>                Hey, everybody, put down your glasses.  Ivana Tinkle!

                 [no response from Moe]


Cheers!
 Bucky "Bartenders Do It 'Til You Barf" Whaley


Try a Disclaimin' Moe's:
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