From: prmader@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (MICHELLE MADER)
Subject: Early Puberty (summary)**LONG**
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: NASA Lewis Research Center
Distribution: usa
Date:  4 Jan 1993 17:39 EST  

Back on Dec. 16 I asked for comments/suggestions/advice from
anyone who's had experience with a girl entering puberty (onset
of the menses) at ages 9 or 10, in preparation for what I
believe is going to be the case with my daughter.  I asked for
experiences from the standpoint of the girl herself & relatives
of the girl.

Thank you for the many responses.  I learned a lot.  One thing
which was not mentioned but I thought of later was keeping it
from her younger sister (who let me know at dinner each day
which of the neighborhood girls had started wearing a bra.)

Here's the summary.  It has been paraphrased and repetetive
comments deleted.  Also, due to the nature of the subject, I
have not included direct attributes.  If someone would like
their comments attributed, E-Mail me and I'd be happy to go back
and do it.

**************************************************************

My mom's best friend had her period at age 9 back in the '30s.
Since girls usually reached puberty later back then it was a
shock.  My wife was also early and it made her uncomfortable.

When I was in 4th grade some boy classmates teased a girl
with larger breasts.  You may want to prepare your daughter
for this.

You may want to tell your daughter she's lucky but not
necessarily superior to classmates.

I was early & very pleased but it's probably different for boys.
****************************************************************

I was 9.5.  I didn't know what it was and was REALLY bummed
when I found out.  The gradeschool bathrooms didn't have
doors on the stalls or "supply" machines so I had to use
the teachers' bathroom.  Whenever I got caught in there I'd
get my favorite teacher to explain for me.

Talk to your daughter about what will happen.  Tell her about
the different kinds of supplies she can use.
***************************************************************
I had early puberty and it was VERY traumatic.  My mother didn't
talk about it just gave me some booklets from the doctor.

I was very ashamed and afraid.  I was teased about my breasts
and hated them.  Also, I didn't know about tampons and couldn't
go swimming.  I was too embarrased to tell anyone why.

You can really help your daughter by treating this as a rite
of passage rather than something shameful.
**************************************************************
Not only did I mature early, I was an early entrant in school
and was younger than all my classmates.

I didn't want to wear a bra but other girls pressured me to so
they'd have an excuse to get one.

Carrying the supplies in school was a problem.

Contact your school nurse/health coordinator to find out if
they have supplies available & help plan the logistics of
the first period.
*************************************************************
I grew up in a household of all women.  My mother was a little
too open about sex and I was teased a lot when I didn't know
something every one else knew.

I had my 1st period when I was 10.  I didn't tell my mother
(or anyone).  My next one came while I was at camp, so I could
write to my mom about it.  She was very upset about not being
there for me & made a bigger deal of it than I would have liked.

I recommend a book called "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret"
by Judy Blume.

>(Poster's Note:  Another good book is called "Period.)

Don't decide ahead of time what your daughter's reaction will be.
Let her know where you keep the supplies in case she doesn't want
to come to you for them.  Keep a box of pads in the house in case
she's uncomfortable using tampons.
****************************************************************
When they start early it means you will be dealing with an
emotional, highly reactie and moody adolescent (early, too!).

Get her a training bra if she doesn't already have one.

Talk to her about how her body will change and about mood swings.
Let her know that this is normal.  (You might tell her what
you experience.)

She may also get teased a lot, about bust size and about carrying
a purse in elementary school.

>(Poster's note:  All children in my daughter's school carry a
backpack, so I hope we can avoid the purse issue.)
*****************************************************************
I had early puberty.  I was already wearing a bra when I started
my menses.

I grew up on a kibbutz in Israel.  We shared bathrooms and
shower rooms with boys.  Our parents did not live with us.
We were all ignorant about puberty.  I was very ashamed at
having to dress in front of boys and thought there was smoething
wrong with me.

I was not prepared for the pain and discomfort, the occasional
accidents, or the fact that vaginal secretions increase and have
a stronger odor (which gave me the reputation for being "dirty").

Talk to your daughter and EMPHASIZE that what she'll experience
is normal.  Mention some of the lesser know things (like the 
secretions).
**************************************************************
I did not know about menses or the facts of life.  When I started
I was told to put on this thing but not told why.  My mother
thought my sister told me and my sister thought my mother told me.
*****************************************************************
Starting early caused my to develop much earlier than others.  It
made me appear older and I did get unwanted attention.  I soon
realized that many people were interested in me for the wrong
reason.
****************************************************************
I started menstruating in elementary school.  The bathrooms
had no trash cans.  I had trouble keeping track of my cycle.
I was mortally embarrased about the whole business.  The
worst was an accident on a camping trip which was obvious to
everyone.

Give your daughter a calendar and talk to her about how to
keep track.
***************************************************************
Help your daughter figure out how to carry supplies in school
without drawing attention.

Get her everything she needs before she needs it, including
a razor, shaving cream, deoderant, etc.

Try to get her in the habit of taking care of her skin now.

Try not to make a big deal out of stuff like buying the first bra.

Buy her a book on the female body that focuses on changes at
puberty.

Make sure there's a good heating pad in the house.

Respect her privacy but try to answer all her questions (even
the unasked ones.
Newsgroups: misc.kids