Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: A few Q'n'A's
From: chumphre@comp.vuw.ac.nz (Craig Andrew Humphrey)
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1992 22:12:14 GMT
Organization: Victoria University of Wellington
Keywords: jokes unix funny


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Q: How many software engineers does it take to re-load a printer with line-flow?
A: None..it's a hardware problem.

Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to re-load a printer with line-flow?
A: Fifty...two to hold the printer, and forty-eight to feed the paper through the
   rollers, re-fold it, and place the pile in the stack bin.

Q: Hoeman data base admistrators does it take to re-load a printer with line-flow?
A: Three...one to write the program for removing the paper from its box, another
   to write the program for loading the printer, and another to act as Manager to
   make sure nodbody else tries to load paper at the same time.

Q: How many IBM reps' does it take to re-load a printer with line-flow?
A: One hundred...ten to do it, and ninety to write document number
   PPLI1500747/0002-QA3942, headed Multitasking Electronic Symbol Inscription
   Facility - Papyraceous Replacement of which 10 percent of the pages state "This
   page intentionally left blank".

Q: How many Unix systems analysists does it take to re-load a printer with
   line-flow?
A: As many as you like...they're all virtual, anyway.

Q: Who were the first couple to ever own computers?
A: Adam and Eve...she had an Apple, and he had a Wang.

Q: How many crew members of the USS Enterprise does it take to re-load a printer
   with line-flow?
A: Eight...Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the printer in the
Engerneering Section has run out of paper, Bones pronounces the printer dead,
Scotty discovers that they have no more paper and complains that he can't run his
engines without printer paper and are in serious danger of over-loading, Kirk
orders Chekov to lay-in a course for an emergency stop at the uncharted planet
Alpha Regula IV to procure paper from the natives, whereat Kirk, Spock, Bones,
Sulu and two security officers beam down, only to have the two security officers
killed by the natives and the rest of the landing party taken captive 
...MEANWHILE, back in orbit, Scotty discovers an approaching Klingon ship, warps
out of the solar system to escape detection just as Bones cures the native king
of influenza by giving him a shot of epinephrine, the king being so grateful that
the landing party is set free and given all the fan-fold line-flow 60GSM paper
they can carry....MEANWHILE, Scotty has crippled the Klingon ship and returned
just in time to beam up the landing party.
	They re-load the printer and continue their five-year mission.

Captain Kirk: Can you re-load the paper, Spock?
Spock: Well, Jim, this printer was designed and constructed 300 million years ago
by a totally alien race of methane-breathing, squidlike beings who built it using
technologies unknown to us, and used it for purposes we cannot conceive of, and
then mysteriously vanished, leaving no shred of documentation as to its operation
... it may take a few moments.
-- 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Craig Humphrey.     chumphre@comp.vuw.ac.nz        | The above opinions in no  |
|                    HUMPHREY_C@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz  | way represent those of    |
|Victoria University Wellington,  New Zealand.      | any sane, normal person,  |