From: barrett@scooby.cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.advocacy
Subject: Re: Amiga sightings and other things BLAZEMONGER-y
Date: 11 Nov 92 04:16:06 GMT
Reply-To: barrett@scooby.cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett)
Organization: BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED

[Someone whose name has been lost to the mists of time sez...]
>>>Well, I failed to recognize the hidden talisman on level 56,703 of
>>>BLAZEMONGER, and now my k,n and q keys are permanently disabled.

	Just buy a new computer, and the problem will go away.  Simple!

>Quoth gerald@seas.gwu.edu (Gerald G. Washington):
>> I have yet to try BLAZEMONGER--I don't think my old A500 could take it.

	Don't worry about it.  The outer casing will heat up a little,
but as long as you don't touch it, or put it on top of anything (like
a desk, etc.) there's no problem.

>> (Although I hear that a computer is not actually needed to play...)

In article <1992Nov10.185157.2835@TorreyPinesCA.ncr.com> jgrimm@TorreyPinesCA.ncr.com (Jeffrey Grimmett 9999) writes:
>This is true.  Almost any household appliance will work.  However, I have
>found a bug.  Be very careful around the kitchen appliances.  I tried using
>it in a toaster and it got confused looking for the "newKikiEffects"
>hardware register and welll....
>
>well, the eyebrows are growing back pretty evenly, so no big deal.

	People, people... don't call it a BUG unless (A) you are ABSOLUTELY
SURE, (B) you can REPRODUCE the problem consistently, and (C) you ENJOY
being torn apart by the "Customer Service" attack otters.

	If you would stop SNIVELING for a minute and turn to page mmxvii of
the Preface in your BLAZEMONGER Guidebook, you'll see that it states QUITE
CLEARLY that you should "never, never, NEVER attempt to run BLAZEMONGER on a
kitchen appliance unless you are prepared to suffer the consequences."  Even
the ULTIMATE PROGRAMMERS at BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED cannot anticipate all
the bugs and flaws hidden in your toaster, electric cheese de-icer,
knockwurst inflater, or other forbidden products lurking in your home.

	Also, to quote from the warranty, chapter LXI, section 19.2:

		"Only BLAZEMONGER-approved appliances should be placed
		within a 20-kilometer radius of the BLAZEMONGER game disk.
		The ONLY approved appliances are:  Commodore Amiga computers
		and peripherals, "Model T" automobiles, electric circular
		saw blades of at least twelve thousand meters in diameter,
		and "My Little Pony" dolls with the heads ripped off.

		"Placing any non-approved appliances in the vicinity may
		cause unpredictable (well, unpredictable to YOU) game
		behavior, strange weather patterns, nuclear fallout, and/or
		the end of the universe as we know it.  And, God forbid, if
		you actually attempt to LOAD the executable image into a
		non-approved appliance, it might do something REALLY nasty."

In other words, be glad it was your EYEBROWS and not your NOOKERS, lad.

	I hope this little reminder will help a few other BLAZEMONGER owners
avoid a terrible mistake.  Remember:  it is a PRIVILEGE, not a RIGHT, to
play BLAZEMONGER.  (See chapter 912 of the Guidebook for details.)  If
you ABUSE the privilege, BLAZEMONGER might abuse YOU!  So just be nice,
enjoy the game, and don't try any FUNNY STUFF with your executable.

	(Um.... Well, there is ONE non-approved appliance that, when
BLAZEMONGER is loaded into it, begins spewing out solid gold coins.  But
don't try to find out which one.  It's too dangerous.)

	(Heh heh.)

                                                        Dan

 //////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
| Dan Barrett -- Dept of Computer Science, Lederle Graduate Research Center |
| University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA  01003  --  barrett@cs.umass.edu |
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---
Copyright 1992 by Daniel J. Barrett.  All rights reserved.
This article may be freely distributed as long as it is distributed in its
entirety.  It may not be included in any publication without the written
permission of the author.  So nyaaah.