From: pww@bnr.ca (Peter Whittaker)
Subject: Re: sidebar re 401
Organization: Bell-Northern Research Ltd., Ottawa
Distribution: can
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1992 15:24:01 GMT

In article <1992Aug12.141713.3887@bmerh85.bnr.ca> 1596118@x400gate.bnr.ca writes:
>Now for the kicker.  I was born and raised in Ottawa and when I'm out
>with a group of friends they're always amazed that someone actually still
>lives here who was born here.  Seems to me, its not the "Ottawa" drivers
>that are so bad its the large diversity of driving practices that people
>from other cities and countries bring with them.  Everybody expects things
>to be the same everywhere.  Compare Montreal and Toronto, both big cities,
>both have different "common" driving practices.  Mix them all together and
>it spells Ottawa.

Hmmm....

Common driving practice, Montreal:  fast, safe, threatening for
pedestrians, cooperative (as long as you drive quickly and safely,
Montreal drivers will make room for you, move over for you, etc.).  Not
for the squeamish, the faint of heart, the bureaucratically rigid, or
the risk avoider.  If Hamlet had had a car, he would he have been
killed driving in Montreal.  Also not for those who do not know were
they are going.

Things Montreal drivers know how to do:  merge, yield (only to those
drivers who meet the cooperation proviso above), pass, park (in spaces
physically smaller than their vehicles), control their vehicles at any
speed.

Accidents in Montreal are caused by:  inadvertent lapses of attention
(at these speeds, a blink will kill), visitors who have yet to adjust.

Common driving practive, Toronto:   act like the roads are not filled
to capacity, and like everyone will defer to you, since you're a
Torontonian god-on-earth.  Drive poorly, but well enough to survive.
Complain a lot, but never about your commute; in fact, make it sound
like a three hour commute is a thing of pride, not an idiocy that any
sane person would avoid.

Things Toronto drivers know how to do:  get were they're going,
tolerate crammed roads, meditate while driving, find the world's
cheapest parking space within walking distance of wherever, yield,
avoid construction, drive (albeit slowly) in the worst ice and snow.

Accidents in Toronto are caused by:  roads being used at 100% capacity
and beyond.

Common driving practice, Ottawa:    ignore all other drivers, all
driving laws, signals, signs, traffic obstructions;  drive as slowly as
possible in any 100km/h zone, as quickly as possible in all other
zones;  pay as much attention as possible to kites, birds, children
playing harmlessly on second story balconies;  stop for pedestrians, no
matter how fast you're going, no matter who's got the right of way, no
matter what you will do the rest of the traffic, even if that
pedestrian is only thinking about setting foot on the pavement.  Decide
that you want to take the upcoming exit at the last moment, while you
are in the left-most lane:  accelerate until you are within one
car-length or less of the car in front of you, cross all lanes between
you and the exit, ignoring all other cars (they'll brake in time...),
and brake violently as soon as you are in the exit lane.  Remember to
avoid signalling any intention;  if you do signal inadvertently,
remember to leave your signal until you reach your destination.  Run
red lights, jump start green lights, ignore yellow lights.  Above all,
never take an alternate route, no matter how badly the main route is
blocked up, under construction, flooded, etc.

Things Ottawa drivers know how to do: .  Sad, isn't it?

Accidents in Ottawa are caused by:  boneheads.  For purposes of this
discussion, boneheads are all Ottawa drivers who do realize how bad
driving in Ottawa really is.

No :->

pww

Xref: sparky ont.general:1532 can.general:3950 soc.culture.canada:5694 ott.general:790