From: jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl)
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Organization: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 11:40:56 GMT

In article <1992Sep12.034347.9993@news.iastate.edu> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Jenny Gutbezahl) gives it the ol' college try:
>> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:
>
>>>	Posting a GIF would allow unbiased confirmation of your attractiveness
>>>claim, you know.
>
>>Actually Dan, I made no claims to my overall attractiveness
>
>	That's strange, I didn't ask for a GIF of your overall physique
>either.  Perhaps you figure I'd be more than remotely interested in such?
>Thankfully, I have achieved satisfaction in this area with April, who is
                                                            ^^^^^

I assume you are referring to *Miss* April, in the sticky old issue of
Pentohouse you keep hidden under your moth-eaten underwear to warm you
on could Autumn nights.

>I do note
>that you don't offer the testimony of others to substantiate your claim,

If you don't believe my testimony, why should you believe any of my friends
who might post to the net.  The only way to *really* be sure is to come
to Massachusetts and check 'em out yourself, or send a representative whose
opinion you respect.

>so I must accept the possibility that your name really is Bertha, and

Hey, if I was gonna lie about my name, do you really think I'd pick
something as unwieldy as Gubezahl?!?  No way, Jose, I'd be posting as
Dominque Teton or something.  Geez, you're paranoid.
>that you drive a minivan to work because that's the smallest vehicle
>with enough cargo capacity to haul your fat butt around in.  Mind you,
>this is only a possibility.  For all I know you might also sport a longer
>mustache than I. 

It's just as likely that I'm a *guy* with a beer gut & my jeans hanging
down to expose the crack in my ass & that I spend my free time drooling
over Miss April & doing the Funky Chester (twirl, twirl).

 None of this has anything to do with your perky nipples,
>or so you claim.  Hell, they might be of the inverted type and be poking
>twin points into your sweater just inside the shoulder blades.

Now THAT is an interesting image. GIF GIF GIF my friend.

  Details,
>supposed-woman, we need details!  You might think attractive nipples
>reside on a breast that hangs just slightly above the knee and has all
>the firmness of, say, a rubber band.  You don't toss your tits over your
>shoulders to get them out of the way, do you?  Can you use your breasts
>as ski poles, with those pert nipples substituting for the little point
>on the end of the pole?  Can you pick up litter with them, and with a
>deft twist send the litter and breast into a burlap bag slung from your
>shoulder (probably creating a rain groove even as I type this)?

As a brief aside, I went to a strip joint a few years back, and there
was one older chick who had *seriously* given into gravity.  After shimmy-
ing for a while, which was most entertaining, as her boobs made a pleasant
"Thappeta Thappeta" sound as they whizzed through the air, she turned around.
She hooked one drooping hooter under each arm and continued to shimmy.
Pretty impressive - of course, as I'm only a B-cup, I don't I'll ever reach
that state.  More's the shame....

>
>That I am not multi-orgasmic, at least not within very short periods of
>time, is a major peeve of mine.
>

Just as well, as it allows the pages of "Hot Pregnant Teens" to dry off
between spurts.

>, but only stated
>>that my nipples are more attractive when erect.  Surely you don't need a 
>>.GIF to confirm that.
>
>	Uhhh, yes.  Yes I do. 

Sorry, babe. I ain't got a scanner.  Doesn't bother *me* none, as I can just
look down and admire them whenever I want. Hah!

>Yeah, I need a GIF or a detailed description
>of your nipples with a yak covered in whipped creme and lime jello in a
>prominent role.
>

As I sai, I got no scanner - and it seems as though you've already provided
a fairly good description yourself, so why should I waste the nets money 
elaborating on it?  

>	Does this mean you're not going to post it?
>

I guess not.  I hate redundancy.I hate redundancy.I hate redundancy.I hate redundancy.I hate redundancy.I hate redundancy.I hate redundancy.

Jenny G
-- 
***************************************************************************
jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu is    :  "It just feels right"
      Jenny Gutbezahl @          :    -the fine folks at Mazda
    Univ. of Mass, Amherst       : 
Newsgroups: alt.peeves