HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: slb3y@cc.usu.edu (Punk Rocketeer)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: The Fart in the Dark
Date: 14 Dec 92 10:57:26 MDT
Summary: first-person account
Keywords: excuse me
Organization: Omega:  The Final Solution

In the FAQ we find:
U. A plain-Jane coed is invited to a special night out by a BMOC. As she
   gets ready, has bad gas from lunch. Date arrives before she can get relief, 
   so plans to do so in car before he gets in. She does it,  and quickly rows 
   down window. When date gets in, he says, "I'd like you to meet Tom and Mary 
   in the backseat." ["The Fart in the Dark" in TVH.]

     I heard this story in the first person yesterday from the
alleged BMOC, though he made no claims to being one.  He was persuaded
to tell this story by his ~4YO daughter, while his wife made sure we
knew it wasn't her in the front seat.  Actual tale follows.

     He was in high school at the time, and had a car with a
nonfunctional interior light.  He opened the door for her, being that
sort of person, then went round to put something in the trunk. 
(Exactly what "something" was is not made known.)  When he got in, the
car smelled heavily of perfume, and to the young lady he said
something like, "Oh, by the way, we're doubling with <not Tom> and
<not Mary>."  She blushed heavily, and backseat couple began laughing
quite hard.  For the clue-impaired, the perfume was to cover the odor.

     I mentioned that I'd heard the story as a joke, but never in the
first person.  Teller was surprised to hear that the story existed. 
BTW, he's somewhere around 40, so there's a scant possibility this is
the source for the UL.  I don't doubt his honesty, but hearing the
story told as a firsthand experience is quite a shock.

Patrick "my, what a lovely scent you're wearing" Clark
-- 
Patrick S. Clark | "O come let us adore them.
Email is life!   |  We've quit our day jobs for them."
Usual disclaimer | from "O Come All Ye Grateful Deadheads"
This .sig brought to you in part by the Bob Rivers Comedy Corp.
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31276 alt.folklore.college:3295
From: dkelly@bio3.acpub.duke.edu (Dianne Kelly)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: College Libraries Funded by the Trivial
Date: 15 Dec 92 22:19:14 GMT
Reply-To: dkelly@bio3.acpub.duke.edu (Dianne Kelly)
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban



|> BTW, there is a building at the Lincoln Park Zoo called the Regenstein
|> Large Mammal (or Large Primate) house, which houses apes, chimpanzees,
|> monkies and the like.  

	Have you ever noticed the eerie resemblance between the Reg and the
Regenstein large mammal house?
							Diane Kelly
							Duke Zoology
							(former UCer...)
From: csa09@seq1.keele.ac.uk (Paul Singleton)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Amusing signs
Date: 16 Dec 92 18:17:58 GMT
Organization: Keele University, England

ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering) writes:

> I noticed some weird street signs last summer when I was in Berlin.  
> It was odd, but about one out of every three streets seemed to be
> named "Einbahnstrasse."  I have no idea how Berliners find their
> way around.  Even stranger, the same thing was true in Naples
> and Brindisi, except the common street name seemed to be "Senso Unico."

In Spain I noticed *lots* of direction signs to "Centro Ciudad", although
it's not on the map.  But seriously, I do think that generic phrases should
be displayed in a different font to Proper Names.
From: klg@panda.mc.duke.edu (Kim Greer -- rjj)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: 'Springfield' is NOT a city in all states!
Date: 18 Dec 92 21:39:50 GMT
Organization: Duke University, Nuclear Medicine

In article <lisqabINN7mg@news.bbn.com> pdsmith@bbn.com (Peter D. Smith) writes:
>
>How many of you have heard the rumor that there's a "Springfield" in
>all the states of America?
>
>NOT TRUE!  In fact there are *no* towns that are found in all states!
>This is easy to determine; just get an atlas and start comparing ...

  "Springfield" doesn't come close to some others that can be found in lots
of states.  For example, after just a few minutes, I came up with about 39
states with a "Fairview", not counting Puerto Rico.  Some states appear to
have several.  There's a fair number of "Greenville"'s also.

>(I recommend comparing 'Nevada' and 'Alaska' first; they have hardly
>any towns to begin with).

  When I get some spare time, I think I will get an atlas with Nevada and
Alaska, and try to find a city name that can be found in the most number of
states.

k "What do you mean Atlas shrugged? That's just like him not to care"g

-- 
Kim L. Greer                       
Duke University Medical Center		 klg@orion.mc.duke.edu
Div. Nuclear Medicine  POB 3949		 voice: 919-681-5894
Durham, NC 27710  		         fax: 919-681-5636
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: mkjensen@IASTATE.EDU (Martha K (Puester) Jensen)
Subject: Re: Another University Exam One
Reply-To: mkjensen@IASTATE.EDU (Martha K (Puester) Jensen)
Organization: Iowa State University
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 16:47:47 GMT

When I was in sixth grade (why does this always happen in sixth grade?), 
I actually got a test like that. (Of course it was after the teacher 
had reminded us several times to read the directions)

The instructions were to read all of the questions, and to answer the 
questions in reverse order after reading the whole thing.  Questions
on the test included things like adding horrendous columns of numbers,
writing your name twenty times, going up to the blackboard and drawing
something, etc.  It started out fairly normal but got ridiculous very
quickly.  Of course, the very last question (the first you were supposed
to do, if you read the instructions, ) was to sign your name on the back of the
paper and ignore everything else...  A reasonable portion of the class
actually started to do all of the weird stuff before clueing in...

Martha
From: jane@soave.swdc.stratus.com (Jane Beckman)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Amusing signs
Date: 16 Dec 92 22:52:26 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc., San Jose, CA

>I gotta follow this up, since for 7 years I took Nameless Road to go to work,
>and voted at the Nameless schoolhouse (old-fashioned one-room school) beside
>the cemetary that served the Nameless community.
>
>Story is that the name the community wished to adopt was not OK by the post
>office, so the community leaders got peeved and said, "All right, if you
>won't call us what we want, we'll just be nameless!"  And so they were.

A community near my home town is supposed to be named Harmony
for similar reasons.  The story goes that the town founders
were arguing over what the call the place, and one fellow
stood up and said "Gentlemen, let us have harmony!"  So they
did.

"Don't mention you-know-what when you talk about you-know-who,
Cause he won't know from nothin', and god knows what he'll do!
He'll take you off to you-know-where, for you-wouldn't-know
how long..." --Song on Clancy Bros. album

--
  Jilara   [jane@swdc.stratus.com]

"The field of pseudo-science hasn't progressed much in ten
years, except to gain access to the net." --from ca.earthquakes
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31019 rec.arts.startrek.misc:12594
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: Re: Mnemonics
From: deyoung@acs.harding.edu (Joel M. DeYoung)
Date: 13 Dec 92 21:24:33 -0500
Reply-To: deyoung@acs.harding.edu
Organization: Harding University

In article <Bz4CME.1uJ@gabriel.keele.ac.uk>, csa09@seq1.keele.ac.uk (Paul Singleton) writes:
>"All Silly Tom Cats"
>
>(something in maths - I forget what ...)

             |
             |
    Cosine   |    All
             |
             |
-------------+-------------
             |
             |
   Tangent   |   Sine
             |
             |

It's from Trig.  It represents in which quadrants the following trig values
are positive.  Sines are positive in quadrant I and II, cosines in quadrant
I and IV, and tangents in quadrants I and III.  I was always taught this as
A-C-T-S - had to go counter-clockwise, but it did start in quadrant I.

========================================================================
|| Joel M. DeYoung       |                                            ||
|| <deyoung@harding.edu> |                                            ||
========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Mnemonics & Now - Burning Mines
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1992 23:30:38 GMT

In article <1992Dec20.213630.24661@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:
>wisp@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Wisp) writes:
>>In article <kfAAvdq00gpIEYc0wH@andrew.cmu.edu> "Andrew C. Plotkin" <ap1i+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>>>Excerpts from netnews.alt.folklore.urban: 14-Dec-92 Re: Re: Mnemonics &
>>>Now - B.. Ray Depew@hpfcso.FC.HP.C (724)
>>>
>>>> > topaz
>>>> Corundum.  Rubies, sapphires, emeralds.  NOT Carborundum -- that's a
>>>
>>>Topaz is aluminum silicate, so emerald is probably around the same
>>>hardness as topaz.
>>
>>Hold on a sec. Isn't that like saying that because diamond and graphite are
>>both made of carbon, they must both have the same hardness? Surely it all
>>depends on the crystal structure etc.
>
>				 Corundum and beryl _are_ the
>names of crystal structures. Aluminum oxide is simply an example
>of a compound that has the corundum structure, and emerald is an
>example of beryl.  
>
>Reference: Introduction to Ceramics, ISBN 0-471-47860-1

I was told we wouldn't have to do mineralogy in this group.

Ted "multiple repositories of power" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
From: kristyp@coos.dartmouth.edu (Kristy Patterson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Another University Exam One
Date: 14 Dec 92 21:45:05 GMT
Organization: Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH

In article <1992Dec14.182412.28582@u.washington.edu> nicolett@carson.u.washington.edu (Nicolette Roberge) writes:
>
>I once had a high school physics teacher give a test that started with the
>severe admonition to read the entire test before beginning to answer any
>questions.  The last line on the last page (3 pages?) was to initial the
>last page and sign your name on the front. And to sit quietly until the
>end of the test period. 
>
>Nicolette "he pretty much tested what he taught us" Roberge

In 9th grade, our World History teacher told us that, for the final, we
were responsible for ALL the information in the book.  The questions went
something like this:

1) "Who is the publisher of your textbook?"
2) "What color is your book?"

etc.

-Kristy "it was brown" Patterson


-- 
   +==========================+============================================+
   |Kristy Patterson          |"One more date and we would have had a Greek|
   |kristyp@mac.dartmouth.edu |tragedy on our hands."     -Jeffrey Anderson|
   +==========================+============================Soapdish========+
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: artn@bert.eecs.uic.edu (Stephan Meyers)
Subject: Re: ring-pulls/ cats-eyes
Organization: University of Illinois at Chicago
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 18:55:57 GMT

>>And I understand that the person who patented intermittent wipers is getting
>>rich as he progressively sues and settles out of court with car manufacturers.

	Actually, the story as I heard it was that the case was recently settled
with several automakers as a group, after 30 years of litigation, during which
the original inventor died.  His heirs are rich.
	One of the depressing things about patent litigation, the big horror
story of the little guy versus the big guy.

		sm
-- 
--
Stephan Meyers | artn@uicbert.eecs.uic.edu
(Art)^n Laboratories, inventors of the Stealth Negative PHSCologram
(312) 567-3762
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Conductivity of water
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 06:48:06 GMT

In article <1992Dec14.062534.16455@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com> billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson) writes:
>
>Hm. I would like to watch a certain personage attempt to rearrange those
>diodes.
>
>Bill "Lets stick with the current subject" Nelson

I think he may put up a lot of resistance to that, but then again, more power
to you for trying.

cj "ohms 'R us" l
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Puff the Magic Dragon (was Re: Calvin and Hobbes)
From: derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne)
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 22:56:27 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand

In article <1938@spam.ua.oz> jaskew@spam.ua.oz (Joseph Askew) writes:
>In article <1992Dec9.022526.20525@nezsdc.icl.co.nz> derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec8.050539.20334@news.columbia.edu> lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes:
>
>>Although there is little doubt that Lewis Carroll used opium et al for
>>recreational purposes, they were not illegal and certainly not 'controlled'
>>at the time.
>
>True - even Queen Victoria used cocaine for menstrual cramps. Perfectly
>legal. (She was left handed too - see below)
>
>>The strange, yet internally consistent, Alice in Wonderland was probably more
>>influenced by Lewis' interest in Symbolic Logic.
>
>It was also supposedly strongly influenced by Lewis Carols lefthandedness.
>Although he probably did write with his right hand (as the fashion of the
>day forced lefthanders to do so) he did suffer from a number of complaints
>strongly linked to lefthandedness and more so being forced to write with
>the wrong hand. 

Ah, the old Right brain syndrome.  Similar to the old one about Leanardo Da
Vinci doing all those amazing drawings with his Left hand but the scientific
stuff with his right hand.  Does anyone know if this was true by the way.

Does this mean you can distinguigh which parts of my posts I write with 
my left or right hands.  

ObUL: Curiously most of my name falls into the left hand side of 
the keyboard - sinister stuff really.

Derek "Create dazed wax art" Tearne





Anyway his book is heavily into things that tend to suggest
>he was lefthanded - in particular the reoccuring mirror image motif. It is
>far more likely that a lefthanded person would notice and comment on these
>things than a right handed person. Besides he was a clever mathematician
>and as we all know all the best mathematicians are/were lefthanded (UL alert!)
>
>Joseph Askew
>
>-- 
>Joseph Askew, Gauche and Proud  Barbarian horns draw out the northern wind;
>jaskew@spam.maths.adelaide.edu  Paler than water lies the Thistle Pass;
>Disclaimer? Sue, see if I care  Sky swallows up the road to Kokonor;
>One China One Korea One Eire32  Moonlight, a thousand miles along the Wall.


-- 
Derek Tearne.   --   derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz   --    Fujitsu New Zealand   -- 
 _______
 _______} This is a Usenet condom<tm>.  Roll the condom over the .signature 
	  file before posting to protect yourself from .sig retro-virii
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Subject: Re: Wet Suits and Deep Diving (was UL: Monumental LSD overdose)
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 20:43:08 GMT

Tom.Rettie@p828.f70.n109.z1.fidonet.org (Tom Rettie) writes:

:   bn> is the same. They rely on the poor heat conductivity of water to keep
:   bn> you warm, not on any insulating ability of the suit itself.
: 
: Excuse me Bill, but that's not quite right.  As I pompously expounded in a
: posting elsewhere, a wetsuit works on two principles:  the insulating properties
: of water (the "wet" part) and the insulating properties of gas bubbles within
: the neoprene that the wet suit is made out of.  
: 
: A properly fitted wetsuit is very snug, so that once water enters it, the water
: is warmed by the body and serves as insulation.  Water has a very high heat
: capacity, and is a poor heat conductor.  That part you got right.  The second
: part is air or nitrogen bubbles within the neoprene which also serve to
: insulate.  As you go deeper, the bubbles shrink due to the increasing pressure,
: and the lower the insulating effect of the neoprene.  The effect is very
: noticeable, especially if you are wearing some sort of strap over your wetsuit,
: because as it constricts the straps loosen and dangle.  Eventually, with
: repeated use, the neoprene becomes "crushed" and you have to replace the
: wetsuit.  The thickness of the neoprene very much determines how well the suit
: insulates, a 1/8-inch suit is noticeably less warm than a 1/4-inch suit.

Thanks for the update. I guess I just never noticed, when I was diving.  When
wearing a suit and steel tank, I am just about as close to neutral bouyancy
as it is possible to get. As such, I never needed a weight belt.

: I can also testify that you can see just as many stars during the day as you can
: at night from the bottom of a flooded quarry (almost a well).  

Yeah - I had noticed that myself - especially when the water is cloudy.

Bill
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: schertz@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Sara Schertz)
Subject: Re: Why Not?
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 21:23:19 GMT

stein@erg.sri.com (Bruce Stein) writes:

>When I was in college (a million years ago), I remember a friend telling 
>me of a philosophy class he had where the final was a single question.  
>The prof removed a toy block from the desk and set it down.  The proceeded 
>to inform the class that all they had to do was "prove the block existed".

>One student thought for a moment and wrote briefly and left.  Everyone 
>thought he had no idea and didn't want to waste the time.  According to my 
>friend the only person to get an "A" was the one who left early.  His 
>answer: "what block?".

>I am sure this one was also an urban legend probably passed along by the 
>philosophy professor.

>	Bruce

I heard this one a few years ago, through a FOAF (Actually, he claimed it   
happened to his brother, but I doubt it.). Only variation was that instead
of a block, it was a chair. Supposedly, the brother of my friend was the one
who aced the test by writing "what chair?"

Sara.

in thatk 
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: userDHAL@mts.ucs.UAlberta.CA (David Halliwell)
Subject: Re: Amusing signs
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 21:41:26 GMT

tomj@monster.apd.saic.com (Tom Johnson) writes:

>ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering) writes:
>>In article <guest.724539004@cs.wisc.edu> petlock@turing.org writes:
>>>pt@geovision.gvc.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:
>>>>ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering) writes:

   [a whole bunch of discussion of "one way" in various languages deleted]

>And we musn't forget how many visitors to Hawaii think "Mahalo" means
>"Trash Can".

   How about that major hotel chain in France? Just about every town
or city you pass through has a sign pointing to the "Hotel de Ville"!


Dave Halliwell
Department of Geography
University of Alberta
Edmonton, Alberta
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: leecr@microsoft.com (Lee Crocker)
Subject: Re: dead man's hand
Date: 11 Dec 92 22:49:53 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corporation

In article <garber.9.0@aru.dom.uab.edu> garber@aru.dom.uab.edu (David W. Garber) writes:

Standard dope around poker rooms (where I spend a lot more time
than I should) is that this term for Aces and Eights came from
the hand Wild Bill Hickcock was holding when he was shot at the
table--two black aces, two red eights, and the queen of hearts.

-- 
Lee Daniel Crocker    | Free minds; free bodies; free trade.
leecr@microsoft.com   | Libertarian Party  1-800-682-1776
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:31606 rec.arts.startrek.misc:12854
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: Re: Mnemonics
From: system@codewks.nacjack.gen.nz (Wayne McDougall)
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 13:44:41 NZST
Organization: The Code Works Limited, PO Box 10 155, Auckland, New Zealand

schamber@sciborg.uwaterloo.ca (Sylvain Chamberland) writes:

> In article <6u8mVB1w165w@codewks.nacjack.gen.nz> system@codewks.nacjack.gen.n
> >Only problem is that this is wrong. Pluto is closer to the sun that Neptune.
> 
> You're kidding!!!!!

I'm ALWAYS serious. [Ten points if you can name the source of this 
quote].

> 
> Where did you get that???

It's a well known scientific fact.

> 
> I'm no astronomer, but back in high school, people told me Pluto is the
> 9th planet and was discovered only because of ambiguities in Neptune's
> orbit...

So when were you at school? Certainly the ambiguities prompted people 
to LOOK for Pluto. Whether it would have been discovered anyway 
is unknown. And it was the 9th planet to be discovered [it was never 
lost...], but neither that nor the gravitational influence on Neptune 
dictate that it must be further from the sun thn Neptune.

-- 
  Wayne McDougall, BCNU
  This .sig unintentionally left blank.

Hello! I'm a .SIG Virus. Copy me and spread the fun.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Subject: Re: pencils up your nose
Reply-To: warren@nysernet.org
Organization: Mail to News Gateway at Wang Labs
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 08:10:41 GMT
Keywords: urban legend, suicide

In <Bz3qGn.ID5@news.cso.uiuc.edu> tz10956@meibm17.cen.uiuc.edu (Thomas Zych) writes:
> This is the legendary "exam suicide".

In addition to the suicide's roommate getting a 4.0, anyone sitting next
to the suicide at the exam gets an A in that course.  Even if they handed
in an A+ exam.
-- 
/|/-\/-\       In real life, the Vice President chastises Murphey Brown
 |__/__/_/     for her morals.  Bill Clinton plays the sax on "Arsenio
 |warren@      Hall."  Though "Batman Returns" is fiction, it's not too
/ nysernet.org much stranger than truth - Caryn James, The New York Times
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.science
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Electric Field Question
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 06:11:06 GMT

In article <sf=0Ymu00iUxA4PnZ8@andrew.cmu.edu> "Stephen M. Lacy" <sl31+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>(On another note, where do pigeons go when they die?  I'm assuming that
>there are literally millions of them in places like NYC, yet you rarely
>see a dead one.)  

You ever see a baby pigeon either?  Little is it KNOWN that there
are NO PIGEONS, and all of the uniform pigeons are just a CONSPIRACY
run by the WALT DISNEY corporation.

Ted "waiting for the Duracell bunny to interrupt a Sally Struthers
commercial" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.religion.kibology
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: Counterclockwise Twisters
Organization: Two rooms filled with typography, in downtown Boston
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 07:31:12 GMT

In article <mcirvin.724107548@husc8> mcirvin@husc8.harvard.edu (Matt McIrvin) writes:
>I'm not sure about tornadoes, but *hurricanes* certainly do revolve
>in a hemisphere-dependent direction.  The Coriolis force is not
>insignificant on scales much, much larger than a bathtub.

Tater Twisters revolve clockwise.
							-- K.