From: suhre@meltami.dsd.trw.com ()
Subject: Untitled
Originator: suhre@meltami.dsd.trw.com
Reply-To: suhre@meltami.dsd.trw.com ()
Organization: TRW Space & Defense
Distribution: alt
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 00:22:34 GMT


=====Begin post for Adria=====
     Gosh, look at all the controversy.  If someone makes statements
without quoting published backing, they are told by some that it will
not be considered valid unless they list the sources.  Those who list
sources are told by some (and usually the SAME ones as before) that
it will not be considered valid unless it is from personal experience.
     This is the exact way the AA members hurt potential AA members.
They say *this is what worked for me* and if the newcomer says that
s/he doesn't know if it is possible, they are told that if it is
not done that way, the newcomer will go out and end up drunk and/or
(depending on the severity of the specific dogma of the area) dead
from drink.  I was threatened with this same thing.  Also, the old-
timers get a kick out of telling a newcomer how long they will
last without drinking before going out--a self fulfilling prophecy.
     The book AA talks about the flexibility of the program.
Joe & Charlie talk about the flexibility of the program and how
adherence to THE way of doing it is different for every person.
Listen to the tapes of Joe & Charlie.  Read the appendix of the
AA book.  Read the footnotes.  I will not tell you what edition
it is in, but in one of the editions of the book it says that
5% of the ppl going to AA will stay sober and in the program.
If you read the AA approved literature...books, pamphlets, etc.
you will discover that as of the late 80's, 10% of the population
was thought to be alcoholic by nature.  If you ask at an
Alcoholism Council (you know...a place where dry drunks go to
get help) they have non-AA-approved literature estimating that
as 20%...a number uniform throughout every country, culture,
and color.
     I belong to a group with a supposedly lower alcoholic
rate than most...even quoted in literature as such.  This is,
however, not true.  If you ask the leaders (or the recognized
leaders) of the people, you will get a much different answer
than the real one:  no one wants to admit that their group
has a problem.  Especially Jews for whom most of the religion
is based around drinking Manochewitz wine and occasions to be
able to drink said brew.  No one who sanctions the activity
which starts at birth (bris for males) willingly admits that
it is a problem.  The REAL numbers speak differently.  More
than 20% of Jews are alcoholic--they don't belong to the
synagogue because the money for memberships is put to drinking.

     People who claim to be alcoholic who went to AA for a while
but decided that controlled drinking was what they were after
and are happier that way:
1.  Best friend Bina...went to college together.  Violent drunk.
    Tends to destroy walls, oak doors, things like that.
    While in AA couldn't get a job, had a bad marriage to
    an abusive addict which she was told by AAers was more
    her fault because of her personality.  After leaving AA
    and doing controlled drinking, she was able to get a job
    teaching.  Her husband ran away with someone half her age,
    and his entire family supported her, she divorced him and
    was able to keep the house, his grandmother sent her the
    monthly checks she used to send him and sent him nothing.
     She restricts her drinking to places where it is safe
    to do violent things.  She is happier drinking in this
    limited way than not drinking.
2.  Previous sponsee of mine.  Limits herself to 4 glasses
    of whatever (4 cans o' beer, 4 glasses o' wine, etc.)
    ; She is happier this way because she likes the taste
    of the stuff and this way she can taste it without
    getting drunk from it.

     I cannot drink this way.  I need full abstinence.  I was
a drug addict and alcoholic by the age of 2.  When I started
drinking I was unable to stop--I didn't like it, I didn't
like being drunk, but I needed it to survive on a daily basis.
I too, like these others, am an alcoholic.  My problem with
drink is different than theirs.  For me, AA was what I
needed at first.  Now it is only harmful, not AA itself,
but the people and their sick dogmas and demented deviation
from the program as it was written.
     If my sobriety were so tenuous as to be dependent on
missing 1 meeting as AA HERE dictates, I would be in serious
trouble.  But I have a life.  I have a life not based on
alcohol.  I have a life not based on the pain caused by
alcohol and alcoholism.
     I am happier NOT drinking in any way.  I envy, at times,
these people I know who can drink in a controlled way.  But I
will NEVER tell a newcomer that AA is THE way to get sober,
nor will I ever tell a newcomer that abstinence is the only
way to become a happy recovering alcoholic (happy drunk?).

     Thanks for letting me share.  I applaud Richard Carnes.
                   ---Adria (dog@cornellc.cit.cornell.edu)
=====End post for Adria=======
-- 
Maurice Suhre
suhre@trwrb.dsd.trw.com
Newsgroups: alt.recovery