HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: barth@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (barth.richards)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Oranjelo
Date: 15 Oct 92 17:16:59 GMT
Organization: AT&T


In article <1992Oct10.192355.744@ssc.com> tad@ssc.com (Tad Cook) writes:

>I had a friend some years ago who had a son named Rick.  Not Richard,
>just RICK.  One time she told me that when he was born she had named
>him Star (or was it Star Light?  Star Shine??), but when he was 5 years
>old he told her one day quite emphatically that he was changing his name
>to RICK.  They went to see the judge and from that day on he was Rick.

This sounds suspiciously like a permutation of a story Moon Unit Zappa told
about her little brother.  (I think it was when she and Frank were on
Letterman.)

As many of us already know, Frank Zappa named his kids Moon Unit, Dweezil,
and Ahmet (sp?).  As Moon Unit told the story, Ahmet decided that he didn't
like his name anymore, because the kids at school were calling him "Ahmet
Vomit," so he wanted to be called Rick.  Frank said that was fine, so Ahmet
told everyone he knew to call him Rick.  Unfortunately, the kids at school
took to calling him "Rick The Dick," so he decided that he wanted to go
back to being called Ahmet.

-- 
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
88  Barth Richards                   "Language is a virus from outer space."  88
88  att!ihlpf!barth                            - William S. Burroughs         88
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:25113 rec.arts.startrek.misc:10158
From: tjw@vms.cis.pitt.edu (TJ Wood)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc
Subject: Re: Kirk VS Picard (was "Lost In Space" was better)
Date: 8 Oct 92 02:59:08 GMT
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban
Organization: University of Pittsburgh

In article <1992Oct6.041041.26135@leland.Stanford.EDU>, firestar@leland.Stanford.EDU (Lipton Ann Meredith) writes:
> In article <1433@helena.edsr.eds.com> jle@helena.UUCP (Johnnie L. Eskue) writes:

>>o.... Not to mention that last night Piccard almost lost hand-to-hand
>>with Troi, as an old woman, no less ... 

> Some of us haven't seen that yet ... thank you so much for letting us know.

Yea, thanks a lot.  I had money on Picard.

Terry
-- 
        INTERNET: tjw+@pitt.edu         BITNET: TJW@PITTVMS
"Laugh while you can, Monkey Boy!"                        - Lord "John" Warfin
"There can be only one!"                                  - The Highlander
"There should have been only one. I want my money back!"  - Terry
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Metrification Problems (was Re: "Normal" body temperature)
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 08:56:12 GMT

In article <1992Oct6.194509.10467@newsgate.sps.mot.com> rapw20@email.sps.mot.com writes:
>> 
>I doubt it. More precise, perhaps, but not necessarily more accurate.

This is probably the right place to start a slightly different thread:

Some American countries have misused the Metric System as an excuse to
raise prices.  For example, Coca-Cola formerly sold its product in
64 oz. bottles, but instead started selling 2 Liter bottles which is 
modestly more product, but for more money than justified for the 3.6 oz.
more.  Considering that bottle designs change periodically anyway, and
that label designs are turned over every 6 months or so, there isn't any
justifiable reason for "metricizing" the product.  (Of course I have no
objections to dual-system labeling, or even metric-only labeling, just the
notion of 2. Liters as opposed to 64. oz. or a smaller integer number if you
want to talk pints quarts or gallons.  Besides, Metrics should encourage the
use of the decimal point and more significent digits.)

For many years, car exporters to the US tended to use predominantly compatible
sizes such as 13 mm screws knowing that to the required accuracy, American
tool users could in fact reach for that 1/2 inch wrench.  No one was hurt
by this, but when GM retools the head of the screw to be 14 mm, the cost
rises beyond the effects of other issues.  Simply put, if the Metric system
is so much more accurate, precise, or other alleged desirability, why are we
paying excessively for parts retooled so they can be expressed in minimal-digit
Metric numbers as opposed to merely the documentation costs (if any) for
expressing the same quantities in the M. system.

Industries haven't always fallen prey to this; many printed circuit boards
still use .1 inch-spaced IC packages.  Engineers are willing to give the
Metric equivalent to as many digits of precision are warranted.  (Which isn't
all that many because of the prevailing tolerances, etc.)

For some years, GM was actually stamping "METRIC" on the underside of their
automatic transmissions because of all of these changes, perhaps induced for
all the wrong reasons.  Curiously enough, these same transmissions were also
involved in excessive failures, and were the subject of a complaining study
by Ralph Nader, although not on the issue I raise.  But perhaps, the
metrification represented a short-cut on internal quality of product, as well
as the external justification for higher prices.

Anyone see the piece on recent shock TV about the dangers of the 5,000,000+
GM pickups still on the road which are more dangerous than the similarly
problematic infamous "exploding Pinto" (not KIBO) incidents.  The show 
starts with an exploding Pinto, since they don't have any snuff films or
related shock movies about the GM problem.  (It was on HardCopy or Inside
Edition or one of those fairly recently.)

cj "what happens if a Pinto hits a GM pickup?" l
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Rape movie? (was: "Gang Bang" series)
Date: 8 Oct 92 17:23:42 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA

ras@athena.mit.edu (Richard A Shandross) writes:
: 
: I'll pass judgement and you can flame me til the cows come home:  both are SICK
: and anyone who makes them or gets off on them needs major help.
: 
: Rich

That is just the point. No one has made them, so no one has been able to
"get off on them".  However, you are so certain about you beliefs that I
am sure no one will be able to convince you otherwise.

Bill
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: billn@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com (bill nelson)
Subject: Re: Angels and Pinheads
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Company, Corvallis, Oregon USA
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 22:42:39 GMT

pynq@quads.uchicago.edu (George Jetson) writes:
: In article <1992Oct12.025456.15513@athena.cs.uga.edu> wells@athena.cs.uga.edu (Scott Wells) writes:
: >Papal infallibility -- for right or wrong -- has been invoked twice,
: >if I'm not mistaken. The first confirmed (?) the Immaculate Conception
: >of Mary. This does not mean that she was herself born of a virgin, but
: >that she was concieved without sin. The second preported the
: 
: Most (but by no means all) of us were conceived w/o sin.
: 
: (Let's see...  They were married in June, I was born in April, yeah,
: that should be OK...)

That would depend if it was the April before, or after, they were married.

Bill
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com (Bruce Tindall)
Subject: Re: The End Of The World
Originator: sasbmt@jjoyce.unx.sas.com
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 21:47:21 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: SAS Institute Inc.
Keywords: baptist, apocalypse


In article <1992Oct14.204957.22860@tamsun.tamu.edu>, bpb9204@tamsun.tamu.edu (Brent) writes:
>ipgrier@compass.uwaterloo.ca (Iain P. Grier) writes:
>|
>|It appears that Baptists and some other miscellaneous religion
>|(United Church?) believe that the end of the world is supposed to
>|happen on October 28th, 1992.
>
>The United Church is a pretty good example of a cult.

You're thinking of Sun Myung Moon's UNIFICATION Church, aren't you?

The United Church of Christ is a mainstream Protestant denomination
which, if I'm not mistaken, tends to the left-wing side.  I believe
Jesse Jackson was ordained in the United Church, and I'm pretty sure
that Ben Chavis (one of the "Wilmington Ten", former Prisoner of
Conscience adopted by Amnesty International) was too.  

There are some very liberal Baptist churches, too, though they are
in the minority.  The Binkley Baptist Church in Chapel Hill, N.C.,
recently ordained a gay man (this action got them thrown out of the 
Southern Baptist Convention); their current pastor is a woman.
Both Martin Luther King Sr. and Jr. are/were Baptist ministers;
the African-American Baptist churches in general were among the
leaders in the civil rights movement, as were some predominantly
white Southern Baptist congregations, such as the Pullen Memorial  
Church in Raleigh, N.C., whose former pastor, W. W. Finlator, is the
head of the state branch of the American Civil Liberties Union.  
Pullen's congregation recently voted to "bless the union" of a 
gay couple. 

Baptist liberalism goes back to the 17th century's Roger Williams and 
his colleagues, who were thrown out of Massachusetts by the Puritans,
and set up the colony of Rhode Island on the principle of complete
religious toleration.  They established the Baptist tradition of 
supporting complete separation of church and state.  Unfortunately,
it's probably true that the majority of Baptists in the U.S. today 
are at variance with this tradition -- but by no means all of them.

ObUL: Didn't the Baptists once published a Bible with *3* testaments?
-- 
Bruce Tindall, Core Testing Mgr., SAS Institute Inc., Cary, N.C. 27513
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: nail in Coca-Cola
Date: 8 Oct 92 21:48:15 GMT
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Distribution: usa
Organization: Columbia University

In article <1992Oct08.125630.20234@NeoSoft.com> arielle@NeoSoft.com (Stephanie da Silva) writes:
>In article <7OCT199216324783@jane.uh.edu> vpaf5@jane.uh.edu (Kal) writes:
>> >
>> _My_ navel jelly contains sulfuric, and not phosphoric, acid.
>
>
>My navel contains lint, not jelly.
>
>Perhaps you're thinking of KY jelly?
>
>
>Stephanie "who put this pubic hair in my navel jelly?" da Silva

Sounds more like Koromex.

cj "Which spermicidal jelly tastes like chicken?" l
Xref: sparky alt.folklore.urban:25032 rec.arts.startrek.misc:10141 rec.arts.startrek.fandom:1500
From: dave@frackit.UUCP (Dave Ratcliffe)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.startrek.misc,rec.arts.startrek.fandom
Subject: Re: "Lost In Space" was better
Summary: Where DO they come from?
Date: 5 Oct 92 23:09:17 GMT
Followup-To: rec.arts.startrek.misc
Organization: Data Factory Services, Harrisburg, Pa.

In article <1992Sep30.010604.5451@javelin.sim.es.com>, tpehrson@javelin.sim.es.com (tim clinkenpeel) writes:
> who cares if 'lost in space' was better, in light of the fact that star trek
> is pure lame.  there are so many inconsistencies in the show and the whole
> premise is absurd.  mr. bradbury didn't have much imagination.  

His name was RODDENBERRY! 

If you have to blast ST at least get your basic facts straight. 

> why don't they (crew dweebs) just
> teleport old brains into newly grown young bodies?  

Yeah... right. Talk about pure lame. 

> why does the enterprise
> even have engines; why doesn't it just teleport itself through space? 

Can you can "Energy Hawg"? I knew you could. Besides, it would make the
episodes too short.

> why is
> there only one language spoken in the galaxy -- 20th century english?

You were expecting maybe Denebian or Organian or Arcturian? Well, if
they were part of the Paramount distribution network maybe they'd
consider it. 

> in summary, star drek doesn't even qualify for 'science fiction'.  instead, it
> only reaches the mark of 'beef-brained fantasy hallucination'.

Kinda like your posting, eh?

>       tim clinkenpeel: aberrant analytical skeptical agnostic idealist.
> 		     -- i exclusively represent myself --

Better get new representation.

By the way, I'm enclosing $2.00. Buy a SHIFT key.

Followups-To: r.a.s.m.

-- 
 ...uunet!wa3wbu!frackit!dave -or-                       |  Dave Ratcliffe  |
 frackit!dave@uunet.UU.NET -or- dave@frackit.uucp -or-   |  Sys. <*> Admin. |
 vogon1!compnect!frackit!dave@psuvax1.psu.edu            | Harrisburg,  Pa. |
From: john@csufres.CSUFresno.EDU (John)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Mink boners
Date: 16 Oct 92 01:59:52 GMT
Organization: California State University, Fresno

>>around his neck which looked like a thin claw.  He told everyone it
>>was a mink's dick bone.  He claimed male minks are the only animals
>>which actually have bones in their boners.  The story was, a lady mink
>>
>>I don't believe a boned penis would be selected for and would become
>
>My childhood friend's big brother had a bone he claimed was from a bear's
>penis.  Funny, he said *bears* were the only mammal with "bones in their
>boners," too.
>
>I'm really looking forward to those stories of animals "in the penis."

Well, here are a couple more.  At the La Brea Tar Pit museum in Los
Angeles, they have a bunch of reconstructed wolf skeletons all of
which have penis bones.  It's kind of funny to watch when little kids
ask their parents, "What is that loose bone for?"  Second (and this
has probably come up in this group before), is that whales have rigid
penises as well.  A news story said that an animal rights *activist*
was caught mastrubating a dolphin, the animal was in "classic mating
position," but claimed that it just "looked like it from a distance."


--
+----------------------------+   ||| | || |   
| -John  (The Generic John)  |   ||| | || |   
| john@csufres.csufresno.edu |   ||| | || |   
+-----------"Moo"------------+   666 1 13 0
From: cromar@math.rutgers.edu (Scott Cromar)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Really Bad Sports Teams (was Organ Theft)
Keywords: (a la Bullwinkle) OR...The Well Tempered Clavicle
Date: 7 Oct 92 19:08:29 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis) writes:
> Coach Jeff Davis <davis@keats.ca.uky.edu> Season: 1-5 Lifetime: 1-7

Ha, you think that's bad?  You should have seen the flag football team
I was on my freshman year in college (many, many years ago).  We had
someone sign up for us who was unfamiliar with the rating system the
intramural office was using.  You were supposed to rank your
approximate ability as 1A, 2A, 3A or 4A so that you could be matched
with teams of your ability level.  Our friend was from Utah,
where the high school system is set up with 1A being the best schools
and 4A being the worst (or smallest).  Since we had told her that we
weren't very good, she signed us up for 4A.

Well, the intramural office's system matched us up with the 4A teams,
figuring that we knew what we were doing.  But the 4A teams were
populated by people who were trying to walk on to the college football
team.  We should have signed up for 1A.  We scored negative four
points on the season (two safeties), and typically lost by margins of
from 50 points (when the other team was mericful) to 100 points (when
they were not).

--Scott "I was responsible for -2 of those points" Cromar
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: "Normal" body temperature
Organization: Terry (hon.)
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 21:56:40 GMT

In article <1992Oct13.033512.21199@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au>
ins769v@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au (Veltyen) writes:
>Sea Wasp (seawasp@vm2.cis.pitt.edu) wrote:
>: In article <1992Oct8.004405.21216@nezsdc.icl.co.nz> derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne) writes:
>: >>   degrees C      Meaning
>: >>    -40           -40 Fahrenheit                      -40 F -- BFC
>: 						(Ball-Freezing Cold)
>
>				You can say that again!
Ball-Freezing Cold


>: >>    -20           Very cold				-4 F
>: 			(not THAT cold. REALLY cold doesn't begin until -10.
>: 			  Windchill factor can be a bitch, though.)
>			
>			-20 C _not_ cold. Where do you live. One of the poles?
>			Sheeesh I live in Melbourne (Far South Australia) and
>			we think it's bloody cold if the degrees hit zero (c)
Well, you're a bunch of wimps.  -4F without windchill is pretty cold
(and only pretty cold).


>: >>     40           Very hot				+104 F
>: 			(Unless the humidity is near-0, this is blasting
>: 			 heat. Fatal. Lie around, do nothing, turn the
>: 			 air conditioner up and pray the power stays on.)
>
>			Wimp!

Actually, it's a very nice temperature for a jacuzzi (where the
"humidity" is well above near-0).

Seth "indoors, -20 is Very Cold" Breidbart	sethb@fid.morgan.com
From: cromar@math.rutgers.edu (Scott Cromar)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Fair Use (was Sniff?  Snuff?)
Date: 16 Oct 92 21:23:00 GMT
Distribution: alt.folklore.urban
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

tjw@vms.cis.pitt.edu (TJ Wood) writes:

> BTW: If you got this from CLARINET, beware.  Brad Templeton gets wired
> when he finds out that you've been copying the articles from CLARI to
> USE NET(s).

As I understand fair use, I don't think that he has anything to worry
about.  It was quoted as part of a larger thread, with attribution,
and he can probably make a fair argument that he was excerpting the
article for research purposes.  

If I'm wrong, let me know.  The fair use rules are so confusing that I
sometimes think they were written specifically as a full employment
act for copyright lawyers.  But if you respond, please do so by
posting rather than email.  I imagine I'm not the only one who would
like a clarification.

--Scott
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dw@unislc.uucp (Dan Wright)
Subject: Re: Metrication and "normal usage"
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: SLC
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 19:15:06 GMT

James Harvey wrote:
: Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary (1988) has this to say about the
: pronunciation of _kilometer_:
: 
:      In North American speech, _kilometer_ is most often pronounced
:      with primary stress on the second syllable ...
:                 ...  Most scientists use second syllable stress,
:      although first syllable stress seems to occur with a higher
:      rate of frequency among scientists than among nonscientists.

Profound.  

Apparently the entry in this dictionary did not change at all
in the 5 years between 1983 and 1988 (some guy named Dan from
Salt Lake quoted the '83 edition earlier on this thread).
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: msb@sq.sq.com (Mark Brader)
Subject: Re: Women in groups
Organization: SoftQuad Inc., Toronto, Canada
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 92 04:09:15 GMT

> If you doubt the veracity of this story, hey, this is my *brother* we're
> talking about.

Alt.folklore.urban motto nominee of the week?
-- 
Mark Brader		"Wise wives welcome spring by moving the UNIX"
utzoo!sq!msb, msb@sq.com

This article is in the public domain.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: datri@egsner.cirr.com (Anthony Datri)
Subject: Re: Outlaw Fire NOW!!!!
Organization: Central Iowa (Model) Railroad, Dallas, Tx.
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 03:22:28 GMT

"I'm all ears."
			Ro$$ Perot
From: wells@athena.cs.uga.edu (Scott Wells)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Angels and Pinheads
Date: 12 Oct 92 02:54:56 GMT
Organization: University of Georgia, Athens

In article <tgxz+fn@rpi.edu> kasprj@rpi.edu writes:


> As for your alleged "great of of grief", this seems to be based on the 
>doctrine of Papal Infallibility, one of the most misunderstood doctrines of
>the Catholic Church. Even most Catholics aren't entirely clear about it. 
>Papal infallibility does _not_ mean that every word the Pope speaks is 
>immutable Church doctrine. It only applies to certain statements which the 
>Pope makes _ex cathedra_ ("from the chair"). These statements are, by Church
>doctrine, the direct Word of God spoken through the Pope. A prudent religious
>organization would be _very_ careful about invoking this privilege, and 
>indeed, the Catholic Church has used it very sparingly, and only on points 
>of doctrine which concern the Church itself. As far as I remember, the most
>recent _ex cathedra_ statement made by a Pope was sometime in the sixteenth 
>century, and concerned some obscure point about the divinity of Mary or the 
>saints or something of that nature (I may be mistaken here; anyone who had 
>a more comprehensive church history class is welcome to correct me on
this).

'Fraid there's a time problem here. Papal infallibility became a
doctrine at Vatican I (I like the sequel better ;^)) which met in 1869
and 1870, but was practical in effect much earlier. Probably a
reaction to the papacy's real loss of temporal power about the same
time, with the formation of the Italian state, but I'll defer to
Catholic Church historians on that one. 

Papal infallibility -- for right or wrong -- has been invoked twice,
if I'm not mistaken. The first confirmed (?) the Immaculate Conception
of Mary. This does not mean that she was herself born of a virgin, but
that she was concieved without sin. The second preported the
Assumption of Mary, that is, that Mary did not suffer death and
corruption of the body but was lifted up (by her hoopskirts, we would
say around here) into heaven. Nothing about gays, condoms or fish on
Fridays.

So there.

-- 
Scott Wells                        +  
Internet: wells@athena.cs.uga.edu  + 
University of Georgia		   +
Athens, Georgia, USA               +
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Fine Art {was: A Goofy Question was Re: Flavored Condoms (was: Re: Stupid cop tricks)}
From: andrewb@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Andrew Bevin)
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 92 03:10:13 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand

In article <6OCT199209043007@jane.uh.edu> vpaf5@jane.uh.edu (Kal) writes:
>
>Isn't it a little *sick* that one dog (Goofy) owns another dog (Pluto)?
>
>I think I'll go suggest this in alt.conspiracy, and see what kind of Walt-
>supported-slavery-and-is-in-fact-frozen-with-three-slaves scenario they can
>come up with.
>
>Then again, maybe I won't.
>

Alright since when does Goofy own Pluto!!!

A mouse owns Pluto. < Gee get a check on reality here >



-- 
Andrew Bevin      			                     andrewb@icl.co.nz
SDC, Fujitsu New Zealand                      ## I do not speak for Fujitsu! ##
Auckland, New Zealand   
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG (Phil Gustafson)
Subject: Re: Male Pregnancies
Organization: Where the wolf has slept by the silver stream
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1992 18:48:24 GMT

In article <1992Oct12.015811.27682@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> peterm@cory.Berkeley.EDU (Peter Mardahl) writes:
>
>I've heard stories circulating that men can be artifically
>impregnated.
>
>Does anyone know more details about this?

See:
      Phineas Gets an Abortion
      Rip Off Comix #8

Phil "Hey, at least it's a reference, which is more than anyone else has come
up with" Gustafson
-- 
|play: phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG; {ames|pyramid|vsi1}!zorch!phil                |
|work: (Under Construction)              | Phil Gustafson                   |
|              I'm the cultural elite.  And I vote.                         |
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: rogers@rosencrantz.osf.org (Andrew Rogers)
Subject: Re: ally bad car puns
Organization: HICAM/OSD
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 18:30:34 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.180141.13379@crd.ge.com> joslin_paul@ae.ge.com writes:
>OBscurePun: Motor Trend once wrote about a guy who named his car Tazio. 
>Why? It was a new volare.

For those of you who didn't get this, it's a pun on the Italian race car
driver, Tazio Nuvolari.  Road and Track once ran a photo of a snowbank
with a perfect impression of a 240Z on the side - captioned "Datsun Ice Car".

And a co-worker of mine many years ago named her German-built Ford
subcompact "Uncle Fiesta".

AWR