From: mlsa@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: \*\*\* The Chicken \*\*\*
Date: 20 Nov 92 19:55:33 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <Bxv23B.HKq@max.physics.sunysb.edu>, swongta@csws13.ic.sunysb.edu wri
tes:
>Why did the chicken cross the road??
>
>----
Dice: To suck my dick, What can I tell you -OOOOOOOOOOH

Eddie Murphy: To get to the fucking other side

>Walt Whitman:  To cluck the song of itself.
>
>Jack Nicholson:  'Cause it (censored) wanted to.  That's the (censored) reason.
>
>John Paul Jones:  It has not yet begun to cross!
>
>Ralph Waldo Emerson:  It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
>
>Aristotle:  To actualize its potential.
>
>Roseanne Barr:  Urrrrrp.  What chicken?
>
>Pyrrho the Skeptic:  What road?
>
>William Shakespeare:  I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off
>a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.
>
>Thomas Paine:  Out of common sense.
>
>TS Eliot:  Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.
>
>Groucho Marx:  Chicken?  What's all this talk about chicken?  Why, I had
>an uncle who thought he was a chicken.  My aunt almost divorced him, but
>we needed the eggs.
>
>Karl Marx:  To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.
>
>Mark Twain:  The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
>
>Mr. Scott:  'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly.
>Ah canna work miracles, Captain.
>
>Robert Frost:  To cross the road less traveled by.
>
>Sigmund Freud:  The chicken was obviously female and obviously
>interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a
>phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.
>
>William Wordsworth:  To have something to recollect in tranquility.
>
>Caesar:  To come, to see, to conquer.
>
>Bill the Cat:  Oop Ack.
>
>Rene Descartes:  It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.
>
>Zsa Zsa Gabor:  It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs,
>which thank goodness are good, dahling.
>
>George Bush:  To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.
>
>Epicurus:  For fun.
>
>T.S. Eliot revisited: Do I dare to cross the road?
>
>Howard Cosell:  It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
>events to grace the annals of history.  An historic, unprecedented avian
>biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement
>formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable
>occurence.
>
>Salvador Dali:  The Fish.
>
>Lee Iacocca:  It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road.
>
>Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.
>
>James Tiberius Kirk:  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
>
>Ernest Hemingway:  To die.  In the rain.
>
>Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross.
>If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost.
>The chicken would be lost!
>
>Socrates:  To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.
>
>The Sphinx:  You tell me.
>
>---
>from the December 1989 issue of the Calvin College Dialogue.
>
-- 
MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN
758-0207
MLSA

"I really do appreciate the fact you're sitting here, you're voice sounds so
wonderful but your face don't look too clear so barmaid bring a pitcher,
another round of brew, why don't we get drunk and screw?"- J. Buffett
Newsgroups: rec.humor