From: akhanna@hamp.hampshire.edu
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Why you won't DANCE.(was a.s.a.r.).  Groove on.
Date: 28 Jan 93 20:46:49 GMT
Organization: Hampshire College
NNTP-Posting-Host: hamp.hampshire.edu

In article <1993Jan22.163438.17846@news.cs.brandeis.edu>, st891487@pip.cc.brandeis.edu writes:
> In article <1993Jan19.204710.2964@infodev.cam.ac.uk>, gdb15@grebe.cl.cam.ac.uk (Guy Barry) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan18.220831.13448@dcs.qmw.ac.uk> arodgers@dcs.qmw.ac.uk (Angus H Rodgers) writes:
>>>
>>>What I *really* fear is being expected to be able to dance. I'll just
>>>have to hope that someone will get me really drunk, and force me onto
>>>the floor ... I'll rephrase that ... oh, never mind.

>>  No, no, no, you've all
>>got to get together in a room with some awful thump-thump-thump racket
>>going on and shake yourself about in the most visually unappealing
>>fashion you can think of.  And you must at all times behave as though
>>you were the only person on the dance floor.  You mustn't look at
>>anyone, or touch anyone, or interact in any fashion.  

I think this is the most enjoyable and most beautiful way to overcome
shyness on the dancefloor.  Just go nuts, and ignore everyone.  On the
other hand, it is incredibly fun to disgust people.  See
that row of people staring at you from the edge of the floor.  See them
appraise you.  Are you attractive, or not?  Give 'em a wink and start
moving.  Just a little at first, so you look like you're not going to
REALLY dance.  You're just going to stand there, shifting your weight to
the beat.  They think you're just going to blend in.  However, you're
wearing something that is going to interest someone.  It's inevitable.
We all wear little flags of some sort.  Someone is going to look at you
and see your earring(s), shirt, shoes, nosering, etc. and wonder, `Gee, s/he's
wearing a _________.  I wonder if s/he is the answer to my dreams, my ultimate
ideal mega fantasy-come-true.  Or maybe s/he will just have sex with me.'
Yeah, well, you're not going to play their game.  That song comes on
that you've been groovin' on lately.  You can't help it.  You start 
moving a little more.  Maybe close your eyes, or face away from the
spectators.  Feel the beat push into your ears, feel it penetrate your body.
Now, you have no heartbeat.  Your heartbeat is the beat of the music.
Maybe you're not exactly "one" with it, but damn, that song makes you
wanna MOVE.  Go to it.  Accidentally, you are moving to the music.  You
can't help but enjoy it.  As you become more comfortable, you move even
more, throwing in a little head swing or putting your arms up in the air.
There, that got their attention.  `Boy, s/he's really groovin to that
song', think the onlookers.  This makes you more attractive.  It really
does.  I don't know if you are interested in this effect, but at some
point, it will be obvious to others that you are enjoying yourself.
It's fun to be attractive to others.  But sometimes, you just don't want
to be judged like that, just physically.  It's rather repulsive the way
that person is looking at you.  Leering, perhaps, with a sick perverted
smile on his/her face.  One option is to move to another part of the
dancefloor.  With a graceful leap, you can land yourself far far away
from that awful smile.  Yes, this part of the floor is alright.  All 
these people over here didn't see you fall when you tried to pirouette
in your platform shoes.  You're like a new person!  Yes, you can be anything
you want, over here.  Oh, the next song is good, too.  Yay!  Cause you're in a
dancin' groove.  But oh, no.  The people over here also notice how
well you flow with the music.  They're staring, and staring is rude.
You can almost read their minds as you glance over, trying to make out
their faces amidst the smoky haze.  They're undressing you with their
eyes.  Yuck!  Gross!  Perverts!  (Unless they're attractive to you, in
which case.....skip following section.)  OK.  This is just getting too
much.  You're trying to enjoy yourself and these leering perverts are
ruining it.  OK.  Here's how to rid yourself of unwelcome sex-stares
from people who expect you to be beautiful and attractive.  Ha ha.
First, as you dance, let yourself lose the beat.  Hey, where'd that beat
go.  It's gone.  You are just in your own rhythm, occasionally coming 
back in, but not really.  Yes, you are definitely not with the beat.
Of course that's cool for you, cause you're in your own world.  How
good it feels to let go of even the beat.  Well, now you just look a 
little sloppy.  The spectators wonder if you know you're not in sync
with the synthesized techno "drum".  Oh ho.  Of course you know what 
you're doing.  You know exactly what you're doing.  Show them by 
dancing crazy, like the above person suggested.  Fling yourself about,
stick out in all directions.  Accidentally step on people and ignore
their hostile stares.  Continue grooving.  Get on the actual floor, or get  
close to it.  Spread out, take up as much room as possible.  Sure, you're
attracting attention.  At this point, who cares?  Yes, let them see
that you will not be their cute little stereotype, or their sex god/dess.
You are a human being, and you are UNattractive, at least to those
fools.  Add drama by sticking your finger up your nose.  (This works
very well for women in many situations, while being sexually harrassed
by men--on the street, etc.)  OK.  Now those drooling smiles and 
appraising gazes have turned to expressions of shock, disgust and fear.
Oh what pleasure, how satisfying it is to look around you now.  You
most definitely are not measuring up to other people's standards.
Quite the opposite.  In your magnificent power, you have taken their
expectations and turned them into fear as you embody what disgusts
them the most--a human being.  OK, OK, so some people really are
beautiful.  I'm not saying that being human means being ugly.  I'm
saying that being human means being yourSELF, not someone's favorite
ideal.  Hey, bonus:  there are gonna be some people who will recognize
that you have been having fun, and they might think you're even more
attractive for expressing yourself the way YOU want to.  
So, while this turned into more than advice for people who don't like
dancing in public, it can still be used widely all over the world.
An important thing to remember is, just DO WHAT FEELS GOOD.  If
people don't like it, too bad!  Who cares!  Do you want to know someone 
who writes you off cause you're not a crazed dance god/dess?
Of course, being often times a crazed dance goddess myself, I am
past that point of shyness.  But occassionally I do get self-conscious.
It is at those times that I remind myself that other people's
opinions mean nothing (unless they're good).  Go with friends.
Be crazy together.  Have *FUN* !!!
                      
                            Avani
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