From: enigma@netcom.com (Enigma)
Subject: Re: Definition of paedophilia
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 92 18:17:46 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <2532@keele.keele.ac.uk> csz55@seq1.keele.ac.uk (Christopher Wrigley) writes:
>
>Subject: abuse and paedophilia
>
>** PRE NOTE **  After I post this and responses to previous posts,
>                I am not continuing this discussion any further in
>                this forum, I feel it is unfair to many. I am posting
>                this only to clear up some loose ends.
>		I am NOT going to reply to any _posts in reponse to
>                this, unless a new group is formed to discuss such
>                issues.  I will only respond to e-mail
>

I understand, Chris.  I'm not posting this to try and drag you into a
debate, but I have a feeling that posting this is in some way necessary
to my healing.

>I have received approx 20 requests to categorically define  paedophilia
>in the way to which I refer.. However, I should note that the Oxford
>English Dictionary does specify 'sexual _attraction' and does not
>mention the word 'abuse' (please correct me if I'm wrong, I don't
>have a dictionary at hand).  I do know that paedophilia does _not mean
>sexual abuse. Paedophilia is a condition where adults are sexually
>attracted to children.    Let us work with my interpretation....
>In laymen's terms okay?
>
>Basically, because paed's are such a diverse group, I have categorized
>them into 'types'. Within these 'types' are many sub categories but too
>detailed to go into here. VERY basically then;
>

>Type '1' - also called the 'passive' paedophile, _is sexually attracted
>to children. However, s/he does not engage in any genital contact. This
>individual is not an offender, s/he is not breaking the law.
>
>Type '1' activities range from kissing (to the extent of normal adults),
>cuddling, and other activities which are not interpreted as being
>'sexual'. This usually occurs when a close friendship has developed/
>matured. These individuals seem to have a strong interest in the childs
>welfare and some are horrified that they are associated with those who
>abuse, molest, and worse. Few in this category may eventually engage
>in sexual activity - perhaps when the child initiated. 

So we're talking here about an adult kissing and cuddling a child 
while being sexually attracted to children.  This is not something which
I feel is okay.  The adult presumably thinks the child is not aware
that something more than affection is going on, but (speaking as
a former child myself) I think that the child could very well be 
aware that something "funny" is going on.  My memories are extremely
fuzzy, of course, and I don't feel comfortable making any accusations
here, but I think this happened to me when I was very small, and
I'm getting a very strong feeling that I knew something was going
on, and it confused and scared me.

I've been wishing I could remember what happened to me, but it's 
really hard.  I'm getting a mental image of a small girl on a
witness stand being cross-examined by a hostile defense attorney:
I don't remember exactly what happened, or who did what, or when
they did it, so how can I make these accusations?  But I'm getting
a feeling that this happened to me, and it was not good that it
happened, that I would be better off today if it hadn't happened.
I think it harmed me.

Maybe whoever did this didn't think I would even know anything was 
going on.  They were wrong.
-- 
Enigma (enigma@netcom.com)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery