From: aatresa@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (Teresa Kline)
Subject: Response to Ed (was RE: SO search)
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Yeah, *right* !
Date: 10 Nov 1992 09:20 EST  

It is my guess that, since my name was quite prominently displayed in this 
message, Ed was trying to draw me out.  Well, I'm here.  And I have a 
few things to say.  All those who can't handle a strong response to Ed, 
please hit 'n' now.  

>How can you give anyone else something you do not first yourself posess?
>It's true that you can only love another to the extent that you love
>yourself.  If others do not love and respect you, it is because they do not
            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>love and respect themselves - they cannot give what they do not have.  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This is patently false when given as an absolute, as you have done here.  
It could also be because "they" feel them *unworthy* of love and respect.  
For example, I do not love *or* respect Charles Manson, G. Gordon Liddy, or 
any number of other people.  On the more personal level, I do not love *or* 
respect my perps.  I *do* love and respect myself, at least to a greater 
extent than I used to.  And even if I come to love and respect myself fully, 
with no reservations, there will *still* be people that I do not love *or* 
respect.

>Being loved by another has as much to do with the other person's self love 
>as it has to do with who you are.

To say that this is an absolute is poppycock.  It *might* have something to 
do with it in *some* instances.  Not always. 

>Besides, "whatever you think I am, or want me to be, I am."  Others can only
>see you through the filtration of their own experience.  Teresa may think I
>am an ass****, but that's because she can only see me in relation with what
>she has been through, and what she feels for herself.  

Ed, please do not presume that you know me *or* what I think.  You know 
neither.  You do not have my experience (not being a survivor yourself), 
and have no conception of what I think or feel.  Even if you *were* a 
survivor, your presumption of knowledge would still be false.  My 
experience does not match any other survivor's.  

If you are *really* interested in knowing what I think, I'll be happy to tell 
you.  I think you place yourself too far above us with your pronouncements on 
asar, telling us how recovery *should* be done, and YOU ARE NOT A SURVIVOR.  
At least, not as far as you've told us.  I find it difficult to 
understand why it is that you believe you know what we should think, feel, 
and do.  And, when someone questions what you say, you go on the attack 
instead of trying to explain further.  In other words, it *appears* as if you 
feel that you know everything there is to know and have no need to explain 
yourself to others.  Since we are survivors and you are not, it would seem 
that perhaps we know more than you about survivors' issues, and that you 
might learn more by *listening* to us.  IMHO.  

>Stephen, on the other hand, may see me as a loving person, but (again) that's 
>because he sees me in relation to what *he's* been through.

Could be.  Why don't you ask him?

-- Teresa

		Life -- just for the FUN of it!!!!