HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jens@arcadien.owlnet.rice.edu (Jennifer Ann Stacy)
Subject: Re: There once was a man from...
Organization: Rice University
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 9 Apr 1992 20:53:16 GMT


> In article <1992Apr9.201445.21289@cs.tulane.edu>, tcws@convex1.tcs.tulane.edu (Bill Sirinek) writes:
> > In article <1992Apr9.194843.8372@osf.org> bsmith@osf.org (Bruce Smith) writes:
> > >Saw a guy yesterday with a t-shirt proclaiming "I'm the man from Nantucket."
> > >Maybe I should have asked for a demo!
> > >
> > >Bruce Smith
> > >
> > 
> > Here in New Orleans, I have seen several interesting T-shirts...
> > 
> > One person I saw in Shoney's the other night wore a T-shirt bearing 
> > (in HUGE lettering) on the front, "FUCK ME", and on the back it said,
> > "THEN LEAVE"
> > 
> > Then there's a shirt that I almost bought during Mardi Gras....
> > 
> > "JUST DID IT"
> > 
> 
> 
> And, on the Mardi Gras t-shirt thread, there was the one...
> 
> "HELP!  I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T REACH MY BEER!"
> 
> My MOM wanted that when I told her about it...!

jen

-- 
Jennifer A. Stacy                                  jens@rice.edu

            	     Only *how* many days left?
                                  :)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: sanjay@b11.ingr.com (Sanjay Date)
Subject: Re: OXYMORONS - Compiling a list
Reply-To: sanjay@b11.ingr.com (Sanjay Date)
Organization: Intergraph Corp. Huntsville, AL
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 18:59:14 GMT

Keywords

 
|>                 ==========================
|> 
|>        "How come we park on driveways and drive on parkways?"
|> 
|> . . . and the venerable "Military Intelligence".
|> 
|>                    "Fast food is neither."
|> 
|>                       "Jumbo shrimp"
|> 
|>                        "Civil War"
|> 
|>                      "Final approach" 
|> 

WHY SHIP THE CARGO AND DRIVE THE SHIPMENT ?

Sanjay
Newsgroups: alt.sex,rec.humor,rec.humor.d
From: alanchem@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Alan Scott Olson)
Subject: Re: (Don't) Re: KILL the CASCADE from HELL
Keywords: copy followup
Organization: Computing Services Division, University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1992 23:43:56 GMT

In article <1992Apr14.225911.6014@gn.ecn.purdue.edu> constant@gn.ecn.purdue.edu (Tino) writes:
>In article <1992Apr14.205827.15626@colorado.edu> burtonr@qso.Colorado.EDU (Richard Burton) writes:
>>gdkg1346@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Gautham D. Kamath) writes:
>>>randy@rss.dl.nec.com (Randy Bullard) writes:
>>>
>>>>wooledge@ces.cwru.edu (Gregory Wooledge) writes:
>>>>>>> Any takers?
>>>>>>Many Lakers.
>>>>>Danny is a faker.
>>>>Fuck Tammy Fay Baker.
>>>Yuck, may God take her.
>>Suck the blonde cake hair.
>Duck! a load of dripping Nair.
You assholes are not playing fair!
-- 
 ___________/ Alan S. Olson  UW-Milwaukee Chemistry Department \______________
/     e-mail to alanchem@csd4.csd.uwm.edu  OR  alan@alchemy.chem.uwm.edu      \
|          Want some good music?  Check out Milwaukee's own BoDeans           |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: pr_gupta@vax.muskingum.edu
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: RE: Solution to math joke needed
Date: 7 Apr 92 20:51:39 -0600
Organization: Muskingum College


A very simple solution to this is:

In Complex Mathematics, the identity,
     sqrt(a)*sqrt(b) = sqrt(a*b)
does NOT hold true.

Hence the fallacy.

Prashant.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The greatness of Gandhi was his simplicity.

 
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: dmoskowi@jarthur.claremont.edu (Denis/Tesser Morris Moskowitz)
Subject: Re: Wanted: Anagram of George Herbert Walker Bush
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 1992 07:47:21 GMT

In article <1992Apr8.021755.2676@lucid.com> yduj@lucid.com (Judy Anderson) writes:
>
>A few months ago there was an excellent anagram of George Herbert
>Walker Bush posted.  Did anyone save it?  I thought I'd remember it
>(yeah right)...  Either email or post...  Thanks.
>
>yduJ (Judy Anderson)        yduJ@lucid.com      'yduJ' rhymes with 'fudge'
>   Join the League for Programming Freedom, league@prep.ai.mit.edu

I didn't see it when it was posted, I read it in Cosmic Trigger by R.
Anton Wilson.

GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH  ----> HUGE BERSERK REBEL WARTHOG

Enjoy.
-- 
Denis/Tesser M Moskowitz        Jen ferocxa malbona kuniklo; rigardu liajn
dmoskowi@jarthur.claremont.edu  sovagxajn vangharojn, kaj liajn ungojn kaj
This Is Realtime!               lian faldan voston.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
From: tww50239@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Taylor W. Wilhour)
Subject: Re: OXYMORONS - Compiling a list
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 23:53:05 GMT

jxf13@po.CWRU.Edu (John Fischer) writes:


>In a previous article, mparsons@fleming.iaims.bcm.tmc.edu (Mark Parsons) says:

>>
>>In article <1992Apr13.151729.2934@vax.muskingum.edu>, geschwent@vax.muskingum.edu writes:
>>|> 
>>|> I know the flames are going to come, but... 
>>|> :-) 
>>|> 			"Adult Male"   
>>|> :-)
>>|> -- 
>>|> P.K.
>>|> Geschwent@vax.muskingum.edu
>>
>>OK . . ..  
>>
>>	Women/Female drivers
>>	Female engineer/scientist/you-add-your-favorite
>>
>>Back atcha P.K.!!!!!! ;-)
>>-- 
>>Mark A. Parsons
>>mparsons@bcm.tmc.edu
>>

>Hello*  This is supposed to be fun and light-hearted and promoting
>harmony among our fellows and understanding through humor (even
>between the sexes if that's possible) and I'm going to be sick....


>-- 

>John Fischer 

Dear John,                                                               
 I think you're overreacting. The above slams on the sexes seem to be light-hearted enough, and I don't think the authors will be getting flamed for making them(well, not by any reasonable human being that know how to take a joke) So let italone, don't take things so hard. 

								Taylor Wilhour
PS- _I_ laughed
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center
Date: Monday, 6 Apr 1992 11:08:19 EDT
From: Robert Chambers <RMCCU@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: TONGUE TWISTERS***

How about:


   I chased a bug around a tree, I'll have his blood he knows I will


This appeals more to English schoolboys (where I learned it)
From: hacksaw@cellar.org (Hacksaw)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Humor Compilation
Date: 13 Apr 92 01:38:52 GMT
Organization: The Cellar BBS and public access system


 
 
   I have been collecting humor text files since I began modeming some
eight years ago. At present, I estimate my collection to be well over 20 
megs. Sounds good so far, right? Here's the bad part. Most of the files
are large(over 100K), have not been spell-checked or edited to a basic
format, contain bits and pieces of everything, and have not been 
throughly checked for duplicates. Basically, what I have here is tons of
screen imaged/captured stuff that is funny. 
 
   For some time, I have wanted to put together a comprehensive joke 
database on a computer. Or, has this already been done? If it has, I'd
love(make that--I'd kill) to see it. 
 
   Am I alone out here, or are there some others with similiar ideas? Being 
that there is alot of work involved, it would be almost impossible for me to 
take on the job myself(and ever finish it). If you might be interested
in volunteering, drop me some e-mail. Or, if anyone has any suggestions
as to how it should be put together, by all means, send me a message as well.
 
   Volunteers and good suggestions are useless unless people would have an
interest in seeing such a thing. Any comments? From anyone?
 
 
hacksaw@cellar.org
cellar!hacksaw@tredysvr.tredydev.unisys.com
 
PS - If you are interesting in swapping some material, or are desperatly
looking for something... let me know and we might be able to work something
out.
 
Cheers!
 

------
hacksaw@cellar.org (Hacksaw)
The Cellar BBS - (215) 654-9184
Newsgroups: alt.sex,rec.humor,rec.humor.d
From: kuntal@algol.cs.umbc.edu (survivor)
Subject: Re: (Don't) Re: KILL the CASCADE from HELL
Organization: University of Maryland Baltimore Campus, Computer Science Department
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1992 19:55:35 GMT

In article <1992Apr16.162406.20943@schaefer.math.wisc.edu> neergaar@schaefer.math.wisc.edu (Dude) writes:
>ALY101@psuvm.psu.edu writes:
>>In article <1992Apr16.135736.22401@umbc3.umbc.edu>, kuntal@algol.cs.umbc.edu
>>(survivor) says:
>>>
>>>In article <BAGCHI.92Apr15030636@sparky.eecs.umich.edu> bagchi@eecs.umich.edu
>>>(Ranjan Drzzzzt!  Bagchi) writes:
>>>>In article <1992Apr15.063610.4048@ringer.cs.utsa.edu>
>>>mcdougal@lonestar.utsa.edu (Jon . McDougal) writes:
>>>>>In article <1992Apr15.005701.3132@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> sdo@uiuc.edu writes:
>>>>>>>>> Suggestion: alt.cascade, or possibly rec.humor.cascade.
>>>>>>>>> Any takers?
>>>>>>>> Many Lakers.
>>>>>>>Stinky Bakers.
>>>>>>Sorry Fakers.
>>>>>Wimpy Lakers?
>>>>Plenty o' Quakers
>>>poor pun makers !
>>More fun with razors.
>Fire phasers!
hot lasers !
From: amo@cbnews.cb.att.com (arlene.m.osborne)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: TONGUE TWISTERS***
Summary: sheets again
Date: 6 Apr 92 18:09:14 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T

In article <167C02867.NETOPREC@ncsuvm.cc.ncsu.edu>, NETOPREC@ncsuvm.cc.ncsu.edu writes:
> A SHEET IS SLIT, WHO SLIT THE SHEET, WHOEVER SLIT THE SHEET IS A DIRTY
> SHEET SLITTER.
>  
I learned a slightly different tongue twister:

I SLIT A SHEET, A SHEET I SLIT
AND ON THIS SLITTED SHEET
I SIT.
From: bobm@Armstrong.EDU (Bob Matthews)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: OXYMORONS - Compiling a list
Date: 17 Apr 92 17:06:50 GMT
Organization: Armstrong State College, Savannah, GA

Plastic silverware
High-school education
IBM computer
-- 
Bob Matthews  bobm@pirates.armstrong.edu
Armstrong State College     Savannah, GA
Xref: sparky alt.sex:14514 rec.humor:16430 rec.humor.d:1444
From: king_p@hurricane.cs.odu.edu (Paul King)
Newsgroups: alt.sex,rec.humor,rec.humor.d
Subject: Re: (Don't) Re: KILL the CASCADE from HELL
Keywords: copy followup
Date: 14 Apr 92 21:47:20 GMT
Organization: Old Dominion University Dept. of CS, Norfolk VA

In article <1992Apr14.205827.15626@colorado.edu> burtonr@qso.Colorado.EDU (Richard Burton) writes:
>gdkg1346@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Gautham D. Kamath) writes:
>>randy@rss.dl.nec.com (Randy Bullard) writes:
>>
>>>wooledge@ces.cwru.edu (Gregory Wooledge) writes:
>>>>>> Any takers?
>>>>>Many Lakers.
>>>>Danny is a faker.
>>>Fuck Tammy Fay Baker.
>>Yuck, may God take her.
>Suck the blonde cake hair.
Ducks in the long lake swear.


     -Paul
From: auerbach@sleepy.bmd.trw.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Nifty prank
Date: 16 Apr 92 12:53:26 MST
Distribution: usa

In article <1992Apr15.020456.22259@CSD-NewsHost.Stanford.EDU>, amorgan@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Crunchy Frog) writes:
> In article <1992Apr15.013736.16386@athena.cs.uga.edu> 
>   quinby@athena.cs.uga.edu (James Quinby) writes:
>>
>>If you want to scare the living hell out of your favorite unsuspecting DOS
>>user, include an ECHO in their AUTOEXEC.BAT file that says
>>
>>UMOUNT ERROR ON #, NO RING. SEE #700, PORT@
> 
> A Macintosh newbie made the mistake of leaving me alone with his computer
> for 15 minutes.  I altered the startup screen to read
> 
>       Fatal RAM error in
>           000F:34C8
> 
>      Reboot Immediatly to
>      avoid further damage
> 
> He sat there for quite some time, growing more and more panicked, turning
> his computer on then off again.
> 
Another Mac goodie is to create a start up screen with a Mac dialog box that
says:

System Error
Erase disk and destroy Ram?

underneath the message, include the buttons "Now", "Wait 5 seconds", and
"At Random".  Make sure the "At Random" looks like it's been pressed.  Keeps
'em guessing all day long ;)

K
From: v027ef3u@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (TOMASAURUS)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Surrealist Definitions
Date: 7 Apr 92 22:16:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

A sample of definitions from the Surrealist Games Book, compiled and presented
by Alastair Brotchie, Edited by Mel Gooding.

AQUARIUM:  Humid square of requiems.
BELIEF:    Beliefs are ideas going bald.
CYNICISM:  The worm of mockery that spoils the otherwise delicious fruit of 
           complete freedom
DEPRAVITY: Descending the ascending path of pleasure.
ELEPHANT:  Puffed up elf.
MUSTARD:   Produced in 1165 at the request of the anti-pope Guido da Crema,
           who was looking for anti-honey.
PROVIDENCE:  All approved accidents.
REVOLVING DOORS:  Built at the request of the owner of the Cafe Anglais who,
          to honor Evans on his return from Crete, reduced the labyrinth to 
          its simplest expression.
SEX:	  The act of sex is the axis of sects.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom Daniels                      |   It took me all my life, but I finally |	
v027ef3u@UBVMS                   |   realized that the secret to happiness
voice (716)882-2507              |   is sim 
-------------------------------------_____ ====||||///"" ...

Please Pardon Our Mess:  Logo Under Construction.
From: tloftus@pimacc.pima.edu (Imma Maddog)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Incest (Keeping it in the family)
Date: 17 Apr 92 18:44:32 GMT
Article-I.D.: pimacc.1992Apr17.114432.6622

>In article <40129.1049216828@crfm.gen.nz>, clark@crfm.gen.nz (Clark Mills) writes:
>> Incest: The game the whole family can play!
>> -- 
		Gee mom, you're better then sis!

*=====================================================================*
* T.J.Loftus   Systems/Analyst PimaInfo*     tloftus@pimacc.pima.edu  *
*PimaCountyCommunityCollege  Tucson, Az*     vtxmgr@pimacc.pima.edu   *
*Home on the range,land of the strange.*                              *
*=====================================================================*
From: abas@unix.cis.pitt.edu (Jasem Alhumoud)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Woman is like the World????
Keywords: Woman
Date: 8 Apr 92 02:48:19 GMT
Article-I.D.: unix.204561
Organization: Univ. of Pittsburgh, Computing & Information Services


     I heard this joke from my best friend last night, I can't recall
  my best friend name. Any way the joke:



            A Woman is like the World


  At 20 years she is like Africa semi explored.

  At 30 years she is like India warm mature and mysterious.

  At 40 years she is like America technically perfect.
  
  At 50 years she is like Europe all in ruins.

  At 60 years she is like Siberia everyone knows where it is But____
   no one wants to go there.


          Jasem (Dr. J.)
From: j1w@icf.hrb.com (J. Douglas Works)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Oxymorons wanted...
Date: 15 Apr 92 14:53:37 GMT
Organization: HRB Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Apr14.042850.24351@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>, tga20201@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (The Traveller) writes:
> A couple of good ones:
> 
> 	IBM Quality
> 	Working Mac
> 	User-friendly UNIX shell


    	The Bee Gees Greatest Hits



 __^__						 		    __^__
( ___ )------------------------------------------------------------( ___ )
 | / |                                                              | \ |
 | / |          "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."         | \ |
 | / |                                                              | \ |
 |___|                     j1w@icf.hrb.com                          |___|
(_____)------------------------------------------------------------(_____) 
   ^                                                                  ^
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: tarzan
From: <KEMCC@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Date: Thursday, 9 Apr 1992 10:57:42 EDT
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center

Q: what were tarzan's last words?


A: who greased the vine?
From: stevey@cs.washington.edu (Stephen Yegge)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Funny Abbreviations/ Acronyms for Cars...?!?!?!?
Date: 17 Apr 92 02:45:43 GMT
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle

In article <1992Apr15.223409.11909@phillip.edu.au> t9214305@phillip.edu.au (Robert Pascale) writes:
>>> > > In article <1992Mar20.175939.15755@en.ecn.purdue.edu>,  
>> kho@en.ecn.purdue.edu (Ping Phing Kho)  
>>> writes:
>>> > > |> I heard this from a friend of mine who doesn't like his Ford:
>>> > > |> 
>>> > > |> 	FORD = Fixed Or Repaired Daily
>>> > > |> 
>>> > > |> Anybody.... has anymore cute stuff like that?
>>> > > |> Please e-mail them to me (or better... POST IT!!!!)
>> [other stuff removed]
>> 
>> DODGE = Dead Or Dying Gas Eater
>
>FORD  = Found On Rubbish Dumps
>
>(GM Holden for eva! Proud owner of a 5.0 litre V8 gas-gussler)
>
>-- 
>Robert Pascale, B.App.Sc, A.A.C.S, P.C.P      |     / \     | P.O.Box 8084
>INTERNET:   T9214305@phillip.edu.au           |   ( O.o )   | Northland Centre
>COMPUSERVE: 100033,251                        |      -      | Victoria 3072
>PHONE: +61 3 4789644 (AH), +61 3 8692304 (BH) |  Whatever!  | AUSTRALIA

FORD = Fucker Only Runs Downhill

Cheers,

Steve Yegge
stevey@cs.washington.edu
From: chris@iowegia.uucp (Chris Lyons)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Blond Joke (encoded)
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 92 18:31:08 CDT
Distribution: world
Organization: Iowegia Waffle BBS, Clive IA USA, +1 515 226 2156

How does a blond part her hair?

She spreads her legs.
From: walrus@bessel.umd.edu (Grig Larson)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: just seeing if this works
Date: 14 Apr 92 04:01:16 GMT
Organization: Punk Walrus Enterprises, Inc.

In article <1992Apr14.022643.23281@wam.umd.edu> bianc@next00csc.wam.umd.edu (WierdnesS) writes:
>
> 
>
>-- NewsGrazer, a NeXTstep(tm) news reader, posting --
>M>UQR=&8P7&%N<VE[7&9O;G1T8FQ<9C!<9FUO9&5R;B!#;W5R:65R.WT*7&UA
>M<F=L,3(P"EQM87)G<C$R,`I<<&%R9%QT>#DV,%QT>#$Y,C!<='@R.#@P7'1X
>M,S@T,%QT>#0X,#!<='@U-S8P7'1X-C<R,%QT>#<V.#!<='@X-C0P7'1X.38P
>M,%QF,%QB,%QI,%QU;#!<9G,R-"!<"@I[>UQ.1T1O8W5M96YT,2!42$4@3$5'
>M14Y$($]&(%-44D]+15(N=VX*-#(W-B!-)UE6,#4I8#1@/"9$4BDD0C-(0F`^
>M)B@D42$P2C1)6$PJ,BLE43%45V`C*4I7+$)12%P^+R@D+BHC8$9""DU)8%0Z
>M+21@8&`A)R-10%`Y+"4R-D<A15-9/%(Y+48K8$)@1D(Q0%`Y+$8K+$XF)D,Q
>M3$HR+59#*$XK)5(*34DM+D<T*BTJ1S1*54I--DLV*RU*5SQ*53I5.")@(4,H
    [ some interesting stuff deleted for sanity's sake ]
>M+F!#."DB+"11(51#(R9/7BDC(2%@8"%&+3)@(20C0&!@4%!@+$-#/"I4(CI@
>M2",G53-52R9!+3I5-3%@)%TJ6D95.3Q33#0*34HU*$=!4U)$,"0E02@\*5$T
>M021@.5@B16`O)"A`(3PF7&!"529/.E`R+50R,#!2(B0H-%!1(B0P*#I(-`I-
>M)"1-.20L0T`A,RI(4#!-4B0H+20S-D4Q-2<I-$5),DI)25I>*C<Q5$Q!+CY=
>M*S$I2C]9*3\H,%(E*B@T"DTI,C1-+2Y)*C8X2S1)(DE5*CU935)'/DL^05Y)
>M,R@T2C4S)3(U.EXJ53$_*T5234Q40%TX4$(J-DP].5D*34HU)%5:54<Q1D4X
>M.TM9-DT[-S=+-EXE6DHK1S!),EE63C!-/EQ&*CA/,U(Y35\Q)5TU7"TB+4-@
>M*"X[.PI-02=6+#@P6B,F)#E+.5LE6C%.358\/$X[7T0[-BI)+D%#*31-)%XK
>M,#E+.EDX3BDL.5HW4T8S5"\N-B)#"DTH.E9>,R<O.EXD8$9,2D=52DM)-RQ6
>M)2)/5SLG3R]4,#LT(E57(5]#14-&6E@_,5<N0U515U]2-3(I)#(*35-'(E(R
 
Yes? Well what about Dorset? Your theory falls short when presented against
the battle of Trifalgar. But, yes, you are right, that is a very funny joke.
But I don't think many people will get it <it plays "Melencoly Baby" on your
modem noise if you pick up the reciever>.
 
"I wish I had said that..."
"You will, James, you will..."  -- Oscar Wilde

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|\||/ A Punkie (tm) | 
|(o-) Qickie-.sig!  |
| /\                |
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
walrus@bessel.umd.edu
From: jameskau@aludra.usc.edu (James Kaufman)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Request
Date: 11 Apr 1992 00:19:31 -0700
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
Distribution: usa
NNTP-Posting-Host: aludra.usc.edu

In article <1992Apr9.211403.18840@wheaton.wheaton.edu> matth@wheaton.edu (Matthew Hayward) writes:
> Could someone email me the green golfball joke, I would hate to miss out on
> the greatest joke of the century. Thanks in advance. 

Me too, please!  
James Kaufman
jameskau.aludra.usc.edu
Thanks!
From: maineman@connection.EBay.Sun.COM (mike maine)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: NEED EASTER PICS ASCII!!
Date: 15 Apr 92 19:38:42 GMT
Reply-To: maineman@connection.EBay.Sun.COM
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
NNTP-Posting-Host: connection.ebay.sun.com


ANYONE HAVE ANY PICS FOR EASTER?

THANKS,
-MIKE-
From: lvandyke@balboa.eng.uci.edu (Lee Van Dyke)
Subject: Re: sick and digusting sheep jokes wanted
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Organization: University of California, Irvine
Date: 13 Apr 92 15:22:56 GMT

k Eddie Murphy and a Hillbilly named Billy Hill were new pilots for
transporting animals back and forth between the US and Saudi for
desert storm. One day they were heading towards Saudi with a plane
load of sheep out over the atlantic when the engines start to go out.

"Oh shit thats the 2nd engine. Billy Hill get the parachutes !" 
The plane shakes a little and the sheep start baaing.
"Ok but what about the sheep?"

"The sheep! (pause) The sheep? Fuck the sheep! FUCK the sheep!"

"Well, OK, but do you think well have time?"
--
Lee Van Dyke
      lvandyke@balboa.eng.uci.edu,
UUCP: infotec!Infotec.COM!lee@sunkist.West.Sun.COM
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: btd43733@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (BTDonovan)
Subject: Re: Where have all the Apple jokes gone?
Keywords: Apple, Macintosh
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1992 07:47:21 GMT

hucke@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Matt Hucke) writes:

>In article <1992Apr8.135245.28203@escom.com> al@escom.COM (Al Donaldson) writes:
>>In article <1992Apr7.090836.8295@jyu.fi> em@jyu.fi (Erkki Mattila) writes:
>>>I need quickly a few good and relatively short Apple (Macintosh) jokes. 
>>
>>Q - What's the difference between a Macintosh and an Etch'n'Sketch?
>>A - You don't have to shake the Macintosh..

>The best way to accelerate a macintosh: 9.8 meters/sec^2. 

>Mostly Always Crashes
>Maybe A Computer
>Crapple


>-- 
>        Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche.
>                      hucke@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu
>                      Gene Roddenberry 1921-1991

Oh, but we must always remember the quick retort to that comment:

9.8 meters/sec^2 is the ONLY way to accelerate an IBM
-- 
With malice toward none, with charity toward ----------------------------
all, with firmness in the right as God gives |     Bernard T. Donovan   |
us to see the right, let us strive to finish | btd43733@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu|
the work we are in...  A.Lincoln             ----------------------------