From: scott@bbx.basis.com (Scott Amspoker)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Congratulating (het) parents on their new baby
Date: 22 Dec 92 19:30:15 GMT
Organization: BASIS International, Ltd., Albuquerque NM USA

In article <Bzo2DH.DFx@cs.columbia.edu> ji@cs.columbia.edu (John Ioannidis) writes:
>[het couple wants a medal for making a baby]

You touched on one of my occasional ponderables.  Do you want this to
be a serious thread or can we have some fun and blow off steam?

>So here are my questions:
>[...]
>2. Is there something intrinsic to be proud of on the part of the
>father? The only thing he has proven so far is that he has a working
>reproductive system.
>
>3. WRT #2 above, is the father being congratulated on his bedroom
>prowess, and the mother on being fertile? (Of course, it could be
>congratulating the father for putting up with his wife, and the mother
>for actually going through the trouble of having a baby, but I somehow
>doubt that this is the case).

Male heterosexual pride is an enigma.  Since heterosexuality is supposed
to be a natural, inevitible thing (like breathing), why would a heterosexual 
feel like he/she accomplished something by copulating and making a baby?  
Certainly, the female endured tremendous physical stress throughout the
latter part of the pregnancy.  But what about the male?  Well, we occasionally 
get little revealing tid bits from the heterosexual community (with the 
homophobes being their primary mouthpiece).  First is the common claim that 
sexual orientation is a chosen thing.  (Actually they claim that 
homosexuality is chosen.  However, if you can choose to be gay then you 
can choose *not* to be gay which means that sexual orientation is chosen.
Keep in mind that "choice" implies different things in different contexts.)  
On the other hand, homosexuals (with rare exceptions) believe that sexual 
orientation is innate.   Why can't homos and hets see eye to eye in this 
issue?  The answer is simple, each side is speaking from its own unique 
perspective.   Homosexuals know that *their* orientation is innate while 
hets know that *their* heterosexual orientation is not.

Next data point:  Being raised in a society where heterosexuality is
crammed down our throats from cradle to grave and homosexuality is
practically kept invisible, homosexuals still grow up as homosexuals -
without any encouragement to be homosexual.  Yet when someone proposes
bringing homosexuality into the open and educating people about it
we hear the 'phobes rant about how this will promote homosexuality.

Final data point: Het men act as though mating was an achievement of
some sort.  This would imply that they had to work at it in some way.
Attracting a female is rather simple actually and even homosexual men
find women coming on to them without even trying.  So what did they
have to work at?  Why would they rather "be with the boys" than be
with the little wife?  What exactly is "male bonding"?  (It sounds like a 
pack of dogs running around sniffing each others' buttholes.)

Let's summerize:

    1. Heterosexual orientation is the result of deliberate, conscious
       endeavor (i.e. one definition of "choice").

    2. Heterosexuality requires full institutionalized support with 
       complete suppression of homosexual ideas.

    3. Het men want to be congratulated for achieving heterosexuality.

I think what we have here is a concept of a natural, default homosexual 
orientation and the question of "choice" to accept the orientation or 
work at suppressing it in favor of acceptance in society.  When one meets 
with a level of success at this all-consuming process it is understandable 
that he will want his dues, an announcement in the newspaper, his special 
rights and priviledges, or at least a congratulatory greeting card.

P.S. - I said let's have some fun.  Of course I believe in *true* Kinsey 0's 
and 1's and wish them great, hot sex with their opposite gendered partners;
free of anything to prove or wear like a badge.  As they know, sex is its 
own reward.

-- 
Scott Amspoker                       |    
Basis International, Albuquerque, NM |  Too bad ignorance isn't really
                                     |  bliss.  Then it could be outlawed.
scott@bbx.basis.com                  |
Newsgroups: soc.motss