HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: greg@phoenix (greg Nowak)
Subject: Re: stopping the plague
Originator: news@nimaster
Reply-To: greg@phoenix (greg Nowak)
Organization: Baguette Research Systems Inc.
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 15:16:33 GMT

In article <1avfs9INNp9m@overload.lbl.gov>, inspecti@ux7 writes:

}i think we're taking this from the wrong direction (no offense, greg).
}see, instead of something as definite as a horn antenna, we need somethin
}which communicates this thought: "as a concerned citizen, i feel that 
}perhaps you have not thought out your political philosphy all the 
}way through.  i would suggest that you look over the policy and 
}history of both parties with a critical eye for the flaws and short-
}comings of both parties (in full parity), and then make your
}decision as to a political party.  perhaps you may even decide to 
}register as an 'independent' which would give you the leeway to vote
}for whomever you felt was best able to fufill the position, regardless
}of political affiliation."

Beautiful. I agree with all of it. It's a message I would have no
problem spreading myself, keeping in mind of course the strict laws
about minimum distance between campaigners and polling places. 

}fortunately, i have this engraved in bas-relief, reversed, on the 
}face of my mattock.

As long as you don't smash people while you're registering them to
vote, fine.


                                 greg
From: small@boole.seas.ucla.edu (James F. Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,ucla.rumor
Subject: Re: Name that Government Agency
Date: 14 Oct 92 01:27:38 GMT
Followup-To: ucla.rumor,talk.bizarre
Organization: Laserama: Programming and Civil Insurection Division

In article <Bw0npL.Gop@usenet.ucs.indiana.edu> you rambled on about:
)In <1992Oct11.040627.28690@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil> dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small) writes:
)
)>It's time to play, name that government agency.
)
)Well, given a choice, I would probably NOT name it:
)
)nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil
)
)which sounds like you have a serious speech impediment.  ucla.rumor left
)in the Newsgroups: line, just to bug 'em.

Lord knows we can always use more traffic on ucla.rumor . . . 
-- 
DoD# 2024   -Aluminum that is . . .    | If it's good enough for airframes,
                                       | it's good enough for my EX-500.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: prob@700.org (Pat Robertson)
Subject: Sin
Organization: 700 Club
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 14:27:17 GMT


Talk.bizarre is not about being "bizarre", or even about talking.

It is a froup whose goals are to encourage geeks to ignore their jobs,
kill their computers, become communist needle-sharing gay junkies, and
practice withcraft.
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Cognitive Science Conference
Date: 7 Oct 92 10:10:49 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


In article <10940@scott.ed.ac.uk> pgconf@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (CogSci
Conference Admin) writes:

#  		     5th Annual Conference of the
#  		     Centre for Cognitive Science
#  		       University of Edinburgh
#  	  Cognitive Science Seminar Room, 1 Buccleuch Place
#  
#  		      Thursday, October 8, 1992
#   ...
#  
#  Scholium:
#  4:00--4:30	Geoff Goodhill (CCS)
#  		Pornography--its Effects on Men


The details of this lecture just cried out to be crossposted to
talk.bizarre.  I leave the witty rejoinder follow-ups as an exercise to
the reader. 

-- Ken "text book example" Johnson

-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Subject: Re: Transporter Technology
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 00:03:36 GMT

In article <67498@cup.portal.com> lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:
>In sci.physics, Dan Frezza, having been to the movies way too often, wonders:

Often?  Seems more like a dire
case of couch-denebianism, to me.

>: This may sound far out, but does anyone have any information on current
>: research in Transporter Technology, ie, the technology used on Star Trek?
>: It seems to me, that if the law of physics holds, ie, "matter cannot neither
>: be created nor destroyed, but transformed into energy of another form", that
>: this technology, although far out, is not impossible.
>: -- Thanks!
>
>Hey X - A volunteer! A Volunteer!
>I'll bring my flytrap.

I have on my desk a device which will
be the prototype of a primitive form
of this technology (I know this; they
told me it will be that it had been
this way).

The basic idea is to break a person (or
suitcase) into its constituent parts --
quarks, gluons, antimames -- then encode
the organization and interaction of these
parts in a form transmittable as simple
data.

The basic problem at this point
in history is the lack of bandwidth.
We will soon (ca. 2050, according to
the chart) develop mega-channelled,
hyperspatial transmission methods
which will allow the operation to
commence essentially in parallel.

What I've developed as of now is a pro-
forma demonstration of the process.
(I did it mostly so I can tell DARPA that
I've already got it done so they can give
me money to do it so I can divert it to
further study and experimentation--SEE?
my graduate education DIDN'T go to
waste...)

The apparatus is like a large
window-screen strung with fine (~16um)
carbon-steel wires through which we press
the item we desire to transmit; then we
rotate the (now julienned) item 90
degrees and press it through again to
give uniform (now diced) peices.  Below
the apparatus are a carefully arranged
series Federal Express envelopes.  They
are numbered and stacked so that they
may be reorganized accurately when they
are received at the destination (in these
trials that's the office next door; we
use the FedEx envelopes only to meet DoD
specs for one-door-away shipment; as I
said, this is a pro-forma demo, and we
can wave our hands over the part where
the packages would actually be handed to
a secretary, thence to FedEx, thence to
the secretary next door, for reconstitution;
we dispose with the secretaries as well;
well, not really; we've used three in
(partially successful) test-runs as, for
avoidance of a litigable word, "cargo").

Because of the simplicity of the
dissolution and transmittal methods, we
create no bounds on the reconstitution
method (which isn't part of our proposal,
actually).

				--Blair
				  "PSU students are welcome
				   to visit X Laboratories at
				   any time; just present your
				   diploma and transcripts to
				   the guards at the door and
				   you'll be given a tour of
				   an appropriate facility.
				   And don't forget to wear
				   your Spock ears!"
From: chrisl@sancho.sybase.com (Xian the Drive)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Dancing Barefoot
Date: 6 Oct 92 13:51:20 GMT
Organization: silk, soft runner


I watch her when she's sleeping.

Her eyes are closed and relaxed.

Her hair is spread across the pillow, soft.

Her lips pout, slightly, like she's thinking about a kiss.

Her body curls up naturally, for warmth and comfort.

She looks so beautiful, so sweet.

She doesn't hate me when she's sleeping.







+------------+ "This woman                    literally
|    xian    |      Felt she                had a hook in her head."
| ----<--<@  |
+------------+	                  -throwing muses
From: ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk (Ken Johnson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: wanna light?
Date: 7 Oct 92 16:09:09 GMT
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Organization: Bugs-R-Us


I tried this on my amazing new sparcstation IPX.

        wyre%  have you got a light?
        No match.
        wyre%

-- Ken "although it does not catch fire on request it is still the
   fastest machine in the Institute" Johnson


-- 
//// Advice to dieters:         ////  Ken Johnson, A I Applications Institute
////   Never eat more than      ////       80 South Bridge, EDINBURGH EH1 1HN
////   you can carry.           ////                 E-mail ken@aiai.ed.ac.uk
////              -- Miss Piggy ////     phone 031-650 2756  fax 031-650 6513
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton)
Subject: Re: : We have arrived!!
Organization: Indiana University
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 16:49:17 GMT

In <1b5kufINN7ql@skat.usc.edu> echeverr@scf.usc.edu (5150) writes:

>Sound advice is to be heeded, flames are to be ignored,
>for this froup's future is at stake, and we easily get bored.

I RESENT THIS PERSONAL ATTACK UPON MY MANHOOD, AND REQUEST THAT YOU DO NOT
INDULGE YOURSELF IN FLAMES, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DIRECTED AT
ME PERSONALLY.  PLEASE MAINTAIN SOME RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S POINT OF
VIEW!




ben - not a macro, but maybe it should be

-- 
ben                                     fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu
 "A tight bunch of bastards who want to win while loving each other,
  if they don't destroy their knees first, or start sleeping with 
  each other's girlfriends." - Rigler, about Indiana Ultimate
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Subject: Re: ALT.FONDLE.VOMIT
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 04:32:20 GMT

alt.fondle.vomit is for discussion of the meta-modernist musical group Fondle
Vomit.  There was a big argument in alt.config over whether or not they should
call it alt.music.fondle-vomit or alt.fan.fondle-vomit, but the original group
had already been created, and it's nigh-impossible to delete an alt. group.


Besides, Fondle Vomit has broken up by now.  Half of the members went on to
form Frequency Button, which is pretty straightforward and boring rock, but
the other four went on to become Paranoia, and put out a bunch of awesome
albums, of which their latest is "Leather Watch Under The Stars."  Chauncey
Pest, the lead singer, is dead, but he still churns out some fine tunes.

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"Does it ever seem like the brain disorders you have just aren't enough to keep
 you amused anymore?"  --Dr. Strychnine
Current Album--Neil Diamond:Stones
Current Read--Charles de Lint:Drink Down The Moon
From: nj@magnolia.Berkeley.EDU (Narciso Jaramillo)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: room
Date: 12 Oct 92 10:41:06
Organization: /home/auspex/b/bair/nj/.organization
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: magnolia.berkeley.edu


A lone light bulb swings on its electric noose.  Dust fights dust in
complicated, swirling battles.  The floor, already fragmented,
dissects itself further with large lightning-bolt cracks.  The
pipes sing three Gs above middle C, trying to shatter the windows,
which burst inward, embedding their shards in a rotting sofa.  The
door slams and falls to pieces.  The walls are senseless with rage.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Subject: Re: Name that Government Agency
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 15:54:08 GMT

>>>2.) How did you get a newsfeed at a yacht club?

I hope that you told them all about how they can join the club, too!  Especially
about that four-year free membership offer!  How can they refuse a deal like
that?  I'm sure that no matter where they are, there is a recru... er... club
membership office somewhere.
--scott
   (whose father said unkind things about Navy officers)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gj156879@prince.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879)
Subject: disapointed in lack of love.
Summary: Lack of it.
Keywords: Love.
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 01:40:46 GMT

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, might as well go eat germs...
Big fat icky ones, itty bitty skinny ones,
making me more manipulable by mind control...
 
"You will read talk.bizarre..."
 
I WILL READ TALK.BIZARRE.

"You will enjoy the company of herring."

I WILL ENJOY THE COMPANY OF HERRING.

"You will enjoy top 40 dance floor hits."
 
I WILL... No!  No!  AUGH!
 
"Listen to your master!  Watch Cosby reruns!"
 
NOOooooo!   <sounds of a garbage can being hitten with a hockey stick>
I will be me!  Block out the mind control!  I must find a cabbage!
 
<Sounds of a weasel being *loved*> 

I must be a deviant and block out their infrastructure!
 
<sounds of ninjas eating their own livers...>

<Sounds of kiwis being mushed into toothpaste...>

<sounds of brains being puree'd at high speed...>
 
 
                                        Nik
                                  THIS IS NOT MIND CONTROL.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: short shameful confession
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 16:06:14 GMT

I backed my car into a low-hanging tree limb.

I put a tiny but noticeable dent in the trunk lid.

Mark., Ste. Terri will tell you all about my expert driving
gooley@netcom.com
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: satan@evil.demon.co.uk (satan)
Subject: Dave Winder
X-BBS-Msg-Type: E
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 1992 16:11:47 +0000



Dave Winder is of the devil, I am the lord god Satan and David is my child.


+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
|.nemA                                |   6   |                        | 
|live morf su reviled tub             |   |   |  Ye are of your father |
|noitatpmet onti ton su dael dna      |   |   |  the devil, and the    |
|su tsniaga ssapssert ohw esoht dna   | 6 | 6 |  lusts of your father  |
|sessapsert ruo su evigrof            |   |   |  ye will do.           |
|dna daerb yliad ruo                  |  ===  |                        |
|yad siht su evig                     |   |   |  St. John 8:44         |
|nevaeh ni si sa htrae no             |   |   |------------------------|
|enod eb lliw yht                     |       |  Internet Email;       |
|emoc modgnik yht                     |  DIE  |                        |
|eman yht eb dewollah                 | JESUS | satan@evil.demon.co.uk |
|nevaeh ni tra ohw rahtef ruO         |       |                        |
|----------------------------------------------------------------------|
|                           |  M          M          M          HATE   |
|  N          NAZINAZINAZI  |  O          O          O          HATE   |
|  A          A             |  L   JESUS  L   JESUS  L   JESUS  HATE   |
|  Z  hitler  Z   loves     |  E   !   W  E   !   W  E   !   W  HATE   |
|  I          I             |  S       O  S       O  S       O         |
|  NAZINAZINAZINAZINAZINAZ  |  TCHILDREN  TCHILDREN  TCHILDREN  HATE   |
|             N          N  |                                          |
|    you      A   666    A  |------------------------------------------| 
|             Z          Z  |                                          |
|  NAZINAZINAZI          I  |  I AM SATAN AND I AM GOING TO FUCK YOU   |          
|                           |                                          |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mmr@asgserver.canberra.edu.au (Micheal Rainford-Watson)
Subject: Re: Frightening Halloween ideas wanted
Organization: University of Canberra
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 92 02:31:50 GMT

* Wrap lots of high voltage wire around the room to form a coil. Then strap
yourself to a large magnet and float around the room.

* When the door slams behind then hookup the mains to the door handle so no
one leaves early. Note: We don't do this often in Australia because it tends
to kill people ie 240V 50cycles per second, but your power might be different.

* The 'Lords prayer' playing backwards...

* Drive around the streets and collect all the dead pets you can find (knock
on doors if you have too) and scatter them around the room (or strap magnets to
them).

Remeber you need to envolve all of your guests senses, not just sight.

-- 
Micheal Rainford-Watson        _--_|\   E-Mail: mmr@asgserver.canberra.edu.au
Administrative Systems Group  /      \  Phone : +61 6 201 2397
University of Canberra        \_.--.*/  Mail  : PO Box 1 BELCONNEN ACT 2616
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^v^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: idealord@dorsai.com (Jeff Harrington)
Subject: IdEAL ORDER Psychic TV and You
Organization: The Dorsai Embassy +1.718.729.5018
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 1992 17:10:36 GMT


Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gmr6139@ultb.isc.rit.edu (G.M. Richard)
Subject: Ascii Text Graphics
Summary:  4 + 4 + 4 + 4 = 10  (only in Hex!!)
Originator: gmr6139@ultb
Organization: Rochester Institute of Ascii Text Graphics
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 22:16:49 GMT

)                   ...  :``..':
)                    : ````.'   :''::'
)                ..:..  :     .'' :
)               ``.    `:    .'     :
)                  :    :   :        :
)                    :   :   :         :
)                    :    :   :        :
)                     :    :   :..''''``::.
)                      : ...:..'     .''
)                      .'   .'  .::::'
)                     :..'''``:::::::
)                     '         `::::
)                                 `::.
)                                  `::
)                                   :::.
)                        ..:```.:'`. ::'`.
)                      ..'      `:.: ::
)                     .:        .:``:::
)                     .:    ..''     :::
)                      : .''         .::
)                       :          .'`::
)                                      ::
)                                      ::
)                                       :
)                                       :
)                                       :
)                                       :
)                                       .


pretty cool.  What do you think of this?

           .________._____________.__________
          /|________|_____________|_________/|
         / /        ',_   ,   _,  '        / |
        / /   `'   . (_}-   -{_)   .   ~  / /'         o
       / /   .   \____/   .     \____/   / /        o 'O`  
      /|/   ,    /`  '\     `'  /`  '\  /|/       /'|` ^
     / |           ,    `'         "   / |       /  ^   
    / /'  .  `'       .    .   "  .   / /'     o/__,    
   / /       .   \______  _          / /       '' ``   
  / /    `'    .  ||  ||\(_}  `' .  / /
 |_/_____.______________.__________| /
 |/______|______________|__________|/
 '       '              '          '


-- 
  _  _                __                         gmr6139@ultb.isc.rit.edu
 /| /|  __  _/__/_   /__) ' __  /_  __ ,_  __/  gmr6139@george.cs.rit.edu
/ |/ |_/-/__/__/____/ \__/_/___/ /_/-/_/__/_/  gmr6139@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
____________________________________________  gmr6139@ritlav.isc.rit.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rdc@netcom.com (MR. COMMUNIST)
Subject: Re: To my net.friend
Organization: Soviet Socialist Society, Incorp.
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 01:11:13 GMT

IN ALT.PERSONALS rflopez@paradyne.com (Bob Lopez) writes:
)
)
)This is to that very special someone (you know who you are)!
)
)
)		        .     .
)		    ...  :``..':
)		     : ````.'   :''::'
)  		 ..:..  :     .'' :
)		``.    `:    .'     :
) 		   :    :   :        :
)		     :   :   :         :
)		     :    :   :        :
)		      :    :   :..''''``::.
)		       : ...:..'     .''
)		       .'   .'  .::::'
)		      :..'''``:::::::
)		      '         `::::
)		                  `::.
)		                   `::
)		                    :::.
)		         ..:```.:'`. ::'`.
)		       ..'      `:.: ::
)		      .:        .:``:::
)		      .:    ..''     :::
)		       : .''         .::
)		        :          .'`::
)		                       ::
)		                       ::
)		                        :
)		                        :
)		                        :
)		                        :
)		                        .
)
)   *     The Cisco Kid    *


Gooley, you old dog you.  Congratulations.

DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, I CALL FOR THE CREATION OF 

	alt.sex.crisco.kids


roger, cherry coke


-- 

IVAN IQTOVITCH,		"WORKERS UNITE  OVER IMPERIALIST PIG"
COMMUNIST PARTY,		--IVATOLI STEPHANIVIC,
MUSMAK DEVISION			  BRAVE MARTAR
From: inspecti@ux7.lbl.gov ()
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: BoB teCh movie
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Date: 7 Oct 1992 18:35:51 GMT
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory, Berkeley
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: ux7.lbl.gov



mike jittlov would HAVE to do the special effects.  it's important.

now all i need is a screenplay...

inspecti babewe'lldolunch

Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:33681 rec.arts.startrek.current:15152
From: gordon@sneaky.lonestar.org (Gordon Burditt)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,rec.arts.startrek.current
Subject: Re: MORE STAR TREK PRANKS
Date: 9 Oct 92 20:30:18 GMT
Organization: Gordon Burditt

>In one of the ST:TNG books (I can't remember which), Riker rigged
>the transporter such that some particularly hated Starfleet Academy
>professor got to his destination *in the buff*.

Why stop there?  As a Starfleet Academy joke, suppose someone arranges
that Wesley arrives at his destination with green hair, female sex
organs, nude, and VERY pregnant with a bowling ball?

					Gordon L. Burditt
					sneaky.lonestar.org!gordon
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,talk.politics.misc,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.politics.elections,alt.politics.clinton,alt.politics.bush
From: garrett@Ingres.COM (FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS VOTE REPUBLICAN)
Subject: Re: Family leave farce (was a most pressing COncern)
Summary: Flame war!  
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Keywords: 
Organization: ASK Computer Systems, Ingres Product Division
Date: 9 Oct 92 04:09:39 GMT

In article <1992Oct9.031829.28728@ringer.cs.utsa.edu>, kjurena@lonestar.utsa.edu (Keith R. Jurena)               writes...
>In article <1992Oct9.000734.26998@u.washington.edu> sieferme@carson.u.washington.edu (Eric Sieferman) writes:
>>In article <1992Oct8.195203.15406@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> kjurena@lonestar.utsa.edu (Keith R. Jurena) writes:

>>How nice that you have worked for so many kindly ol' employers.
>>In the real world, there is no shortage of employers who
>>are more than ready to dismiss employees for any number of
>>reasons, only one of which is the well known "bottom line".
>>Were you watching any of the news stories in recent months
>>of people who were fired merely for asking for leave for
>>family emergencies.
> 
>That is what the ACLU is for, but I understand that the majority of people
>holding such voiltle jobs don't bother to further their knowledge on such
>matters.  Like the employer is required to give one weeks notice.

I'm an ACLU member, and I can inform you that the ACLU does NOT
have the resources to pick up even a small percentage of the number
of cases that you are suggesting they take on. Also, the law you 
are referring to does NOT exist in most states. Perhaps you should
do a little research first. 
>>
>>The last time I was laid off from a job, I was given
>>ONE HOUR'S notice; not a lot of concern for my family here.
> 
>Looks like this person has no spine to stand up to the boss.  Typical democrat.
> 
When you are getting handed a pink slip, it's a little late for that.
BTW, are you stereotyping someone you don't know again?
>>
>>>When 75% of the jobs are in small businesses, imposing such legislation
>>>will only result in greater unemployment.
>>
>>The family leave bill exempts small businesses.
> 
>Compared against IBM, most companies are small businesses.
>>
And most businesses would've been exempt. Thanks for reaffirming that.

>>And, I'm sure a family leave bill will be brought back soon for
>>consideration by Congress, and sent on to President Clinton
>>for approval.
> 
>Pipe Dreams 101.  Must have been his favorite class.
>>
Obviously, current events aern't your favorite class.

>>| Eric Sieferman            |    sieferme@u.washington.edu          |
>>| U. of W., M.C.I.S.        |    (206) 685-3104                     | 
> 
-Garrett
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre