From: olounela@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Olli Lounela)
Subject: A Finnish go song
Organization: University of Helsinki
Date: Fri, 1 Jan 1993 13:24:01 GMT

Hi all.

This is the very first posting of a go song to this newsgroup that I've
ever seen.  About time, too, I'd say. 

This song is _the_ highlight of a long (6 years now?) tradition of
Finnish go songs, and was described by some as "the only good thing of
the European Go Congress 1990 in Vienna", which comes from the fact that
it was created in a flash of inspiration there and then, and first sung
there, but also from the fact that the 1990 EGC was organized in a less
than optimal way (some would say less than satisfactory, or use even
stronger expressions, like 'f*cked up', and not without a reason). 

*** WARNING: everyone please note this song contains things that can be
*** considered insulting.  Read it _ONLY_ if you think you can stand a
*** person who can be considered a go beneficiary insulted.  YES! YOU
*** CAN STILL SKIP THIS! If in doubt, please don't read it.

(Now that I'm through with this warning, I can say more...  :-) Everyone
who's still reading please enjoy this!

An important thing: the people who created this song (yes, there are
more than one) wish to remain anonymous for now.  The name of the author
is a pseudonym, and is actually a joke on a Finnish performer's name. 

Some background: all things in this song are literally true, except for
some wishful thinking for which it was expressed by one of the authors
"we hope it were".  For example the verse about the winner of a
tournament not knowing the rules is a fact: there was an "Ing's Cup"
(actually a round robin of limited invitatory players) in 1990 won by
Rob van Zeijst, and I know for a fact that he did not know the rules, he
had to ask a referee about some certain points of Ing's rules.  In the
very same tournament several games were 'solved' by the ing's timer when
it did not recognize a keypress but continued to take time (in byo-yomi)
and thus resulted in a loss.  (Now that I think of it, it actually must
have been this Ing's "cup" that was the inspiration for the song)

Also, I have heard that the song is no longer accurate: last summer I
heard a rumor that mr.  Ing had given up the counting of fractional
points in a seki (and that's a Good Thing, for some *very* unseemly and
tedious fractions may produce). 

For any lucky souls who have no idea as to why of this song and have had
no experience of these things, I beg you to try and remain that way; I
wish I also was that innocent...  but no, I know all the horrors however
much I wished it otherwise. 

Please enjoy the song:
-----klippeti-----klippeti-----klippeti-----klap-----

	Ing's Timer Blues
	-----------------

Melody: Ghostriders in (of?) the Sky
Words: Vesa-Matti Olli

A game is now in progress and the speed is terrible
the beeping of Ing's hell machine is truly horrible.
I cannot stand the noise of it, that f*cking little clock
as fast as can I play my moves to end this constant shock.

Chorus:	Beep-beep-beep-beeeeep
	beep-beep-beep-bee-eeeep
	Ing's timer blues

Bowls of stones so miserable Ing has invented
the patent of fulfill-Ing stones in widely lamented.
The worst thing one can imagine is Ing's timer hoard
while Ing's beep-beep hell machine is chiming next to the board.

CHORUS

Whenever you hear rattling noise, the Ing's bowl is there
the nightmare of play-Ing with these might be anywhere.
The money there is big and sweet, you just can't resist
otherwise these tournaments would no more exist.

CHORUS

The winner of the tournament does not know the rules
after every single game it's Ing's timer blues;
when fractions of points solve the game, it is not the end,
easily there'll be a fight, even with a friend.

CHORUS

The first time I saw Ing's gadgets, it was a tournament;
after that the booze I take, well, it is permanent.
After tournament I woke, I wasn't feeling well,
the timer was in pieces -- I hoped it was in hell.

Final chorus (*2):
	Beep-beep-beep-beeeeep
	beep-beep-beep-bee-eeeep
	Ing's hell machine

-----klippeti-----klippeti-----klippeti-----klap-----
-- 
	Olli, 3 dan

E-mail: olounela@cc.helsinki.fi           ! .sig still under construction.
Blame me only for any opinions expressed. !  Never you mind, I don't either.
Newsgroups: rec.games.go