From: bruce@tcom.stc.co.uk (Bruce Munro)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.soccer
Subject: Happy St Hotspur Day!!
Date: 14 Apr 92 12:25:37 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe, New Southgate, London.

Lest the forces of darkness (Arsenal fans) around the world should try
to forget the significance of today the glorious 14th of April, I thought
I should remind everyone of the triumphant victory by St Hotspur over
the evil Gooners of Highbury.

Exactly one year ago today, the evil Gooner forces led by the bestial
Red Anthony, who'd recently escaped from the dungeons of Chelmsford Castle,
appeared to well on the way to stealing the Holy Grail of Football, the
legendary League and FA Cup Double. As chance would have it it fell to
their greatest enemy, the pure and noble forces of Hotspur led by the
noble Mabbutt, and including the perfect knight Sir Lineker, and the
clown prince Gascoigne, to defend the greatest prize of all. Though
they had been sorely tested in many battles including that with the
mighty griffon of Midland Bank which had left them reeling mightily,
they arrived at the battleground of Wembley knowing that the pure in
heart and early ball to feet must surely triumph over the evil of the
offside trap and long hoof from keeper of the goal.

So, at midday on the 14th, the forces met on the green at Wembley Castle
with their supporters arrayed around the mighty battlements roaring
encouragement to their champions. And lo! After five minutes of battle
did St Hotspur receive a free-kick some five and thirty yards from the
Gooner goal. It was left to the clown prince to work his magic against
the evil spells of the magician Seaman, keeper of the Gooner goal.
Prince Gascoigne struck the ball cleanly and sweetly, and it did swerve
past the hastily assembled wall of Goons, and it did hurtle swiftly and
truly unto the top right hand corner, past the despairing hand of Seaman,
unto the goal that his spells had protected so well before this day.

The supporters of Hotspur were mightily pleased and danced joyfully upon
the battlements above the Wembley portcullis. Not quarter of a score
minutes later were the Gooner forces dealt a shattering blow that laid
waste their supporters and raised the supporters of Hotspur to heights
of ecstasy previously unknown in Northe London. As before the Clown
Prince was involved, this time weaving patterns of great trickery
amongst the Gooner defences causing great consternation and confusion.
The ball was sent to the middle where the Perfect Knight Sir Lineker
was able to thrust it into the net of Seaman.

Later in the first half of the contest the faith of the Hotspur supporters
was tested greatly when the Gooners notched one goal back when Sir
Bignose scored a goal against the Viking hero, Erik defending the
Hotspur goal. However, the Hotspur supporters were not fazed, and did
continue to roar forth their encouragement from the battlements. And such
a roar it was that the Goon supporters could do little but cower down
and wonder at the passion and strength of heart of their rivals. Through
the second half the forces of darkness did surge forward using their
foul machinations, but no breach could they make in the defences of
Hotspur. Then the Perfect Knight again took the field with a daring
attack directly into the heart of the Gooner defences. Red Anthony was
left as if standing still, Sir Lineker struck a shot that was sweet and
true and did pass straight through the hands of the magician Seaman.

Now did the craven supporters of darkness begin to sneak and crawl from
battlements back to lick their wounds in the dark places from which they
had ventured. And at the end of the battle the forces of darkness were
vanquished and the Double wrested from the hands of the Gooners, and the
supporters of Hotspur did celebrate mightily and didst consume much mead
and all and did sing songs and ballads in honour of such a great
victory. Such a great victory as will be talked of in the taverns of
North London and whenever folk gather to talk of football.

Amen.

-- 
Bruce Munro.  <bruce@tcom.stc.co.uk> || ...!mcsun!ukc!stc!bruce
BNR Europe Ltd, Oakleigh Rd South, London N11 1HB. 
Phone : +44 81 945 2174 or +44 81 945 4000 x2174
"There are no strangers, only friends we don't recognise" - Hank Wangford