HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: erc@unislc.uucp (Ed Carp)
Subject: Re: BROKEN HEART
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Organization: Unisys Corporation SLC
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 00:55:24 GMT

Cynthia Pettit (pettit@cs.unc.edu) wrote:

: There was someone I liked once, and we flirted around.  I still hadn't
: decided if I liked him seriously or not.  One day he told me what he
: felt...  It >forced< me to decide, but I wasn't ready to decide.  It was
: frightening because I didn't know what to say.  

Howdy, Cyn! :)  Um, how did his declaration of his feelings for you *force*
you to decide?  He can't make you do anything you don't want to do, you know.
OK, so you got scared and ran.  Happens to the best of us.  But don't blame
him for what you did...

As for what to say?  Be honest!  "I'm not ready to decide..." or "I don't
know yet - it's too early"...works a hell of a lot better than blowing the
guy off and running the other way...
-- 
Ed Carp, N7EKG          erc@apple.com, erc@saturn.upl.com         801/538-0177
"There is nothing to seek and nothing to find.  You're already enlightened, and
all the words in the world won't give you what you already have.  The wise
seeker, therefore, is concerned with one thing only: to become aware of what
From: marianna@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Marianna Migliaccio)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Childish Guys
Date: 7 Nov 92 19:31:58 GMT
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin TX

There is nothing wrong with holding on to our childhoods.  My twin
sister and I collect Disney movies, watch muppet movies, go to the
zoo, and act childish at times.  Personally, I think in order to
survive in this world you have to through your troubles to the wind and
just have a good time.  I'm not saying you can act childish all the
time, as "adults" we have responsibilities.  Do what you have to do
but enjoy life as much as possible.  We can't ignore the child inside
of us.

About guys that act "childish", as long as you also take your
responsibilities and the women in your lives seriously there should be
no problem.  I met my fiance on a blind date to Disneyland and feel in
love with the child in him.  As I got to know him, I feel in love with
all of him.  But if it weren't for the child in him - who knows - it
was the child in him that caught my attention!

So to all the "childish" guys - be serious when that is required but
be the child that is a part of all of us whenever possible.


Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@nuge101.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: Re: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 13:59:02 GMT

In article <Bx8FBB.D32@news.cso.uiuc.edu>, bzb47596@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Phaedrus) writes:
|> Kyle,
|> you bring up an interesting point, i too have been flirted with and only found
|> out about it later.  sometimes it was things i should have picked up on, but
|> most of the time it was things i don't think i would EVER have interpreted as
|> advances, even if i was attracted to the person.   sometimes, i never even
|> found out EXACTLY what the other person was doing as far as flirting.  this
|> all, of course, makes it hard for me to realize when someone IS interested,
|> when they MIGHT be interested, and how to get across the fact that I AM
|> interested.

  What I want to know is:  Are there many women out there who will just TELL 
you when they're interested, or do most women simply flirt and hope that their
signals (vague as they are) are interpreted correctly?

-- 
Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and terrible
scarcity.
MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for MADD)
From: mlbruce@husc11.harvard.edu (Matthew Bruce)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Long, Complex Question
Keywords: question, adviceI am a freshman here (Harvard). On Wednesday of Orientation   
 Week,So much for romance at that point; roommates/friends offered theA couple 
   of weeks ago, M mentioned to me how, in spite of J'sTonight, (Halloween) M   and her ro
Date: 4 Nov 92 21:52:15 GMT

mlbruce@husc11.harvard.edu (Matthew Bruce) writes:
(Well, nothing the first time, because somehow the entire post got caught
in the "Keywords" section.)

To make a long story short, I met a brilliant, beautiful, sweet girl here.
We hit it off well, but I found out from her (before I'd made any
advances) she had a boyfriend in the Navy whom she planned to marry. Still,
she and I got in one class together, where we always sit next to each
other and talk before and after class. As much as I liked and still like
her, I was content with friendship, not wanting to wreck another
relationship. Then one day she mentioned how two other guys we know were
both coming on to her, even after they knew she had a SO. She mentioned
how she felt as though she wanted some freedom to see people up here,
since she was lonely. Somehow, b/c of the way the conversation went, I
admitted that I myself liked her.
	At her Halloween party last Saturday, she told me that when she
sees her SO this weekend (he's on leave in Chicago) she'll tell him she
wants to see other people (but somehow they'll try to stay together
themselves), and then "officially" be able to have a social life up here.
I'm torn: I want very badly to go out with her, and I don't want to do
nothing and then see her with one of those other two guys, as much as I
like her myself. Then again, I worry about what that would do to our
friendship (which is incredibly solid; it seems as though everything I do
involving her magically comes out right, which is unusual for me :). The
big worry there is that suddenly I'd feel uncomfortable around her), and
worse yet, what it'd do to her relationship with her LDSO (although what
she says to him may take care of that anyway). Anyone have any advice?
	Speaking of advice, I know it's not at all an alt.romance type
question, but anyone know why I can respond to posts without any trouble
but cannot post any original strands without garbling them? If so, what do
I need to do to be able to originate posts? (I have only rudimentary
knowledge of this computer system.)
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
Date: 10 Nov 92 23:18:10 GMT
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II

In article <1dn3ohINN85u@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> aa762@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Babinsky) writes:
>if you ever get over feeling lonely or missing that special 
>someone to share life with?

Yes. It takes time, though. You now have a gap in your life where you used to
have someone, and that hurts. Eventually, though, you get used to not having
them around, whereas before you were used to having them around. 

Give yourself the time to hurt and the time to heal, and don't expect too much
(or too little, for that matter) from yourself. You will be whole again.
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: Childish Guys
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 92 19:04:40 GMT

In article <1da3goINN3ah@agate.berkeley.edu> bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan) writes:
>See emily's post (forgot to quote)...
>So, when is a person supposed to be serious when he/she is normally/
>naturally non-serious?  For example, most of my friends seem to like
>me because I always seem to take things non-seriously (seem is the
>key word here)  I'm generally the happy-go-lucky type, though some
>things taht are serious do 'hit' me as being serious.  However, is 
>there really a way to gauge when to be serious and when to be normal?
>As the original poster asked (I think it was his qwuestion) is there
>some way of knowing when to be serious wihtout seeming fake?
>
I think this really pretty simple. Be sincere when you are expressing
your feelings toward someone you are trying to get involved with, and
be responsible with them. That is, be truthful and act like you are
being truthful when you are expressing emotions that relate directly to
the other person; and when you say you are going to do something with
or for them, then do it. All you really want to do is convince the
other person that they could depend on you if you were in a
relationship, not that you will grow up to be president.

Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: pablo@eye1.cognet.ucla.edu (Pablo Lapuerta)
Subject: Re: H*ll of a situation!
Reply-To: pablo@cognet.ucla.edu
Organization: UCLA Cognitive Science Research Program
Distribution: ca
Date: Fri, 13 Nov 1992 17:58:36 GMT

In article <1992Nov12.163019.1802@ccsvax.sfasu.edu>  
z_arthurjk@ccsvax.sfasu.edu writes:
> I haven't met a nice young woman to have a rewarding relationship
> with in over two years.  Love just isn't on my side.  I'm sort of shy
> around women but I don't think that's the main problem.  People
> have given me a number of answers to this situation.  
> Among them are:
> 
> 1.  I'm too nice of a guy and I should start being more of a bastard.
>   
> 2.  There are no really nice women around anymore.
> 
> 3.  Women think my personality is to good to be true.
> 
> 4.  Because of my good looks and personality, women assume that
>     I'm already taken.(Don't laugh...I've actually been told this
>     by some of them)
> 
> This is one h*ll of a situation to be in!
> What, if anything, can I do to get out of this predicament?
> This is not a joke! I'm serious.
> 
> Jay

I hear the same things.  I think nice guys finish last.  People tell me  
that I should be patient, that eventually kindness and consideration will  
be appreciated,  and the more aggressive, obnoxious, and selfish type gets  
dates but isn't the type that a good woman will marry.  I'm not sure I  
believe it.

Recently someone told me that there are all sorts of wonderful women who  
complain that they can't find a good partner, either.  So I said  
"introduce me to them!"  Nothing came of it.  Where are they?

Pablo
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: IF ANYONE IS GETTING MARRIED
Date: 13 Nov 92 16:57:00 GMT
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <92318.090045WAS104@psuvm.psu.edu>, WAS104@psuvm.psu.edu writes...
>IF any of you are getting married, we can make either rice or birdseed filled s
>achets.  

Trust me ... they hurt when you throw them like that.

>They are handmade from any color lace and ribbon to your specifications.  
>They will be shipped by UPS or by postal delivery.  For further information
>write
>TARA TROVITCH
>572 N. Whyoming Street
>HAzleton PA 18201

alt.romance.commercial ??? Hey, it *could* work. 

I have a 83 Chysler Cordoba for sale ... the back seat is *perfect* for 
romance. If interested, just call BR-549 ... ask for Junior ! :-)


-- Stephen

	Growing up is easier than you think ... one day, you just wake
	up an adult ... and mourn your loss. 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: pablo@eye1.cognet.ucla.edu (Pablo Lapuerta)
Subject: Re: Falling in love via phone?
Reply-To: pablo@cognet.ucla.edu
Organization: UCLA Cognitive Science Research Program
Distribution: ca
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 20:41:08 GMT

In article <1992Nov5.164359.44445@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu>  
sbecker@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu writes:
> 
> I hope all of you folks out there will give me some feedback on the  
situation I
> find myself in.  I met someone via alt.personals (I am somewhat  
embarrassed to
> admit) and we've been conducting epic phone calls for the past three  
weeks. 
> The conversations have heated up, become quite intimate, with each of us
> sharing secret fears and hoped, even having phone sex the last few times
> (blush)
> 
> What I want to know is do you think it's possible to fall in love on the  
phone?
>  Or am I/are we delusing ourselves?  He's visiting me here in Kansas  
from Utah
> this weekend and I'm nervous, anxious, excited . . .any advice/feednack  
on this
> subject?  I'm new to the net and haven't even met *friends* this way  
before.
> 
> Wish us luck!b1

I don't know what the phone sex is about, but whatever the conversation  
entails, he may want to continue more of it in person.  It all sounds a  
bit bizarre.  Is this love developing between you, or is it more an  
adventuresome affair?  Either way, I hope things work out well for you.

Pablo
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@nuge113.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Wedding Vows (was Re: H*ll of a situation!)
Date: 13 Nov 92 16:22:55 GMT
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.

In article <13NOV199209084840@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov>, afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes:

|> If you *are* as blessed as you indicate here, perhaps you're not looking in 
|> the right places ... or sending the right signals. From personal experience,
|> put a wide gold band on the ring finger of your left hand. Quasimodo could 
|> have gotten hit on if he'd been married. 

  Do any of the charming ladies out there have any idea WHY it is that people
seem to hit on people the most that are already taken?

-- 
Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and terrible
scarcity.
MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for MADD)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: rooneyr@woods.ulowell.edu
Subject: disclaimer:attn:lawrence mcilhoney
Organization: University of Lowell
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 1992 19:24:42 GMT

sorry guys ... this thing has been giving me some probs.
I didnt mean to take up so much space....
the computer said it didn't post it when it did... sorry!


Robin Hawkins
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andrews)
Subject: Please help me find a poem...
Organization: CSIRO Division of Mathematics and Statistics, Australia
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 11:12:18 GMT

Hello all, 
   I'd like some help please. About five weeks ago a young
lady posted a poem to this group. Her name, Kezzle, the 
poem: "Men" If you remember, a fairly negative poem about
men.

I replied to her posting, we got chatting, one thing led to
another. We have exchanged copious amounts of email, snail
mail, photos, phone calls, you name it. We are getting along 
very nicely, some might even say we are in love <smile>, but
how to work that out is for another thread!

She live in Melbourne, Australia, and I in Sydney, Australia
A separation of some 750 kilimetres. If that isn't a LDR,
nothing is :-)

She: "Kerryn", S341031@insted.unimelb.edu.au
I:   "Geoffrey" stuarta@syd.dms.csiro.au

We plan to meet in a couple of weeks. I would like
to have a copy of the "Men" poem to laugh over.
Would someone please post it to this newsgroup..

Wish us well!


-- 
             "I do not agree with what you say, but I will fight
              to the death for your right to say it."
                                                (A favourite of "Rumpole's")
/////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Stuart Andrews
stuarta@syd.dms.csiro.au
Opinions posted here are mine and do not necessarily comply with those of CSIRO
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Date: 12 Nov 1992 12:57 EST  
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    

In article <1dn3ohINN85u@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, aa762@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Babinsky) writes...
> 
>It has been 2 months and 10 days since my girlfriend of 3 and a
>half years has broken up with me.  After begging and pleading and
>even calling her about 4 weeks ago (like a dummy), I was wondering
>if you ever get over feeling lonely or missing that special 
>someone to share life with?
> 

{Feeling philosophical at the moment ...}

You *never* get over losing someone you love...

.. you get *around* it and move on, but you don't get over it. If more 
people realized this, relationships wouldn't be entered into so lightly.


If you mean does the pain diminish with time, yes. 

-- Stephen

     Though *believing* in things often wounds the spirit, *not* believing 
     in anything will eventually kill it. Therefore, *dream* ... and accept 
     the costs as reasonable.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Date: Sat,  7 Nov 1992 01:57:02 -0500 
From: Rob Earhart <earhart+@CMU.EDU>
Subject: Re: hugs, kisses and other indoor sports
Organization: CMU

The Golden Eagle writes:
> The other evening, while with my S.O. I realized just how any different ways
> someone can kiss... My question for all of you out there is...  What type of 
> kiss do you enjoy most?  -O.K. so it's an open-ended question... humor me. 
> All other aspects are equal (* the person kissing you is the one person that you
> would most want to be kissed by *) be frank, but please be honest!

  Lots of soft little ones... mostly confined to the facial area, but
occasionally dipping down to the side of the neck for a bit... and
tenderness, gentleness, and trust enter into the equation quite a bit,
as well. Exploratory. Humorous (faking her out, watching her fumble as
she trys to meet the kiss she was expecting that's suddenly not there,
and *then* kissing her as she's trying to recover from embarassment... :)

  (Unfortunately, my own R.P.'s kisses remind me of a gagging goldfish,
and she's definitly not as playful with them (must be the
puritanical/all-girl's-schools upbringing). So it's a pretty good thing
that she's a wonderful person, and her personality easily makes up for
the fact that being kissed by her is a bit boring. :)

  -Rob
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Date: 9 Nov 92 18:54:38 GMT
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA

In article <BxFp60.3vw@news.cso.uiuc.edu> bzb47596@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Phaedrus) writes:
>petitc@nuge101.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:
>
>>  What I want to know is:  Are there many women out there who will just TELL 
>>you when they're interested, or do most women simply flirt and hope that their
>>signals (vague as they are) are interpreted correctly?
>
>Or, are there many women who won't wait for you to do something.  Since I find
>it hard to know when an advance is welcome, it would be nice if a woman would
>tell me.  If I am interested in someone, eventaully I will make a move, weather
>or not i think they are interested.  I would hope that a woman who was 
>interested in me would do the same.  But this is part of a delusion that i used
>to have: that people could actually communicate with one another.
>
Phaedrus:

    It would be easier for you if women would let you know when an
advance is welcome, but I think in our culture, that is an
unrealistic expectation. The best you can expect in this regards is
body language.  Learn to read it, it really is easy.  You can't tell if
someone is 'interested' in you in the sense you mean, but you can tell,
for instance, if someone is ready to talk to you.

    But really, even if you can read minds, you shouldn't dismiss
someone you are interested in just because she is not interested in you
at first.  It takes time to develop an interest in someone, and often
the other person won't even start developing that interest until you
show an interest (this seems to be more likely if you are a man and she
is a woman).

    If you think of what you are doing as an advance, a move, or a
proposition, it is easy to set yourself up for failure by
concentrating on the likely rejection.  If on the other hand, you think
of what you are doing as showing an interest in someone, in the
expectation that it will make them more positive toward you, and the
hope that they will develop an interest in you, you will be focusing
on doing the things that will most improve your chances of success.

    It is unlikely that your attention will be unwelcome if you keep it
from being heavy, and you have the attitude that by showing an interest
you are doing something that is good for the other person, and
something that they should enjoy.  

    Don't put yourself in a position to be rejected unless it will do
you some good, like when you ask for her phone number, or ask her out
on a date. And you should never be in a rush to be rejected. Unless you
won't have another chance, you are usually better waiting until you
think your chances of acceptance are good.

Peace,
Michael.
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Subject: Re: words as an army for love poem - wanted.
Reply-To: oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu
Organization: Montana State University
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 16:41:00 GMT

In article <1992Nov4.072146.22423@newsroom.utas.edu.au>, c.brennan@student.utas.edu.au (chris brennan) writes:
>
>hi ya all,
>
>I'm sure i saw a poem here last week
>which described using words to win
>ones love.
>
>couple of the lines i remember go like:
>'words they enter your heart, with 
> strenght via your ear.' etc. etc.
>
>if anyone has a copy or knows where it is
>could they please email it to me.
>
Me, too, please!  I can't always read this group in a timely manner, and some
things "drop off."  I don't remember seeing this poem, and I love romantic
poetry.

oopcv@trex.oscs.montana.edu


>Thanks in advance.
>
>============================================
>Chris. | email c.brennan@student.utas.edu.au
>============================================