From: cblanc@pomoma.claremont.edu (P0ZER N PR0UD!!1!)
Subject: Re: Def of Poser (was Re: Here's one for Suaron)
Reply-To: cblanc@pomoma.claremont.edu
Organization: Pomona College
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 14:26:56 GMT

>POSER -- There are many ways to land oneself under the dread label Poser.
>"artist" to mislead the public.  Any musician who is obviously
>selling out by producing the same music that did the trick last
>time but says, "We really stretched out on this album and tried
>some new stuff," they are a poser.  Any band or individual who
>imitates the behavior or music of another person to ride current
>trends to fame and fortune is a poser.  The first example would
>hold true for Def Leppard, the second for bands like Tuff ( check
>out that album cover, you'll think they're Poison ).  Other types
>of posers include those who misrepresent their musical abilities
>by claiming to perform live but have a tape going in the background,
>posing with instruments that they can't play just to look cool in
>the video, and people who take Rikki Rachtman (sp?) seriously.
>Also, anyone who contributes to the destructive incest taking place
>in the music industry by writing a song with Desmond Child is
>automatically a poser with respect to that song.  Stating that the
>band overcomes musical impasses by asking, "What would Barry Manilow
>do?" automatically delineates the band posers.  (That Manilow comment
>came directly out of the mouth of C.C. of POISON, so they are posers.)
>Keyboards do not automatically make a band poser (listen to Nocturnus)
>if they are used imaginatively, but keyboards are often linked to 
>posers because so many posers have the obligatory piano ballad now,
>bands like Poison, Motley Crue, Warrant, get it?  Posers also
>lean heavily towards the infamous "arpeggiated guitar ballad" a la
>Stairway to Heaven, but with less imagination  ( see NEM for example
>of Metallica posing in this respect, but Slaughter's 'Fly To The
>Posers" remains unsurpassed on the Zep ripoff scale ).  Any band
>that releases a cover as the first single of their album automatically
>becomes poser, as it shows that either the band is copping the 
>sucess of previous bands or has little confidence in its own material.
>Excessive releasing of covers leading to poser status can be seen in
>GNR.  Anyone wishing to add to these poser definitions, feel free,
>and be frank.  Oh yeah, releasing NEM instead of something like
>Through the Never was a poser move by Metallica.
>	Now, there are also posers who are not musicians.  These
>include people who try to look and act like musicians but really
>don't know a damn thing about music.  Anyone defending a poser
>band on the grounds of their integrity is a poser.  Anyone who would
>not run Rikki Rachtman down on sight is a poser.  Anyone who watches
>the Headbangers Ball for any reason other than the triple thrash
>threat and the occasional Pantera video is posing.  Anyone who
>can sit through the pre show music at a GNR show, not even recognize
>Battery or Master of Puppets, then bang their head when Enter Sandman
>comes on is a poser.  Anyone who cannot identify a poser on sight
>is a poser, especially if they say no one can define poser anyway.
>Those of us who have true sight know that posers are the bane of
>music in general and must be eliminated or trained to see the error
>of their ways, because as long as there are poser fans, there will
>be poser bands wasting bandwidth on the Billboard charts.  My
>brother and I and many people we know possess this sight to some
>degree, and can easily tell the difference between old and new
>(poser) Metallica fans, for instance.
>	In closing, it must also be said that musical ability or
>talent has nothing to do with being a poser.  Physical acrobatics
>in no way can be used to determine poser status, as there are
>many poser bands who are reasonably skilled at playing their 
>instruments (Nitro).  Unfortunately, these bands abuse their abilities
>by producing mealymouthed lyrics and derivative music that have
>about as much appeal as a feces Slurpee, IMHO.  If you have read
>this far, you probably will respond to this post by flaming or
>concurring, but I don't give a fuck what you think, cause if 
>I was really afraid of flames, I would be a poser.
>	Well, I hope all of you posers out there are satisfied.  Those
>of us who are not posers have an instinctive knowledge of who is and
>who is not a poser, so we only find defining poser to be a big laugh
>with no practical purpose.  Maybe I will organize this into sections
>and lines so we can quote out of it to clarify someone's allegations
>of poserness.  Ha!

	WEE NEED A FAQ!!1!  THERE IZ 2 MUCH T1ME BEING SPENT 0N THIS SHIT!!1!

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L0RD UV ALL I KAN D0WNL0AD!!!1!

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