From: rkruger@triton.unm.edu (robert c  krugerttr)
Newsgroups: alt.support
Subject: Re: How to become free of need for relationships?
Date: 17 Oct 92 01:31:59 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

Hello alt.support,                   

	I have been watching discussions for a while and finally decided to
post.  I too am finding that my relationships are becoming very oriented 
to a search for a SO.  Presently that desire to have a signifigant other
is possibly wrecking a friendship (I call it that reluctantly).  As unbiased
as I can I will try to recant the situation of my 'friendship'.

	During Xmas break of school last year, I was at a Village Inn Rest.
drinking tea with my friend Peggy.  Up walks an old classmate, Amy, and says
'Hi.'  She's obviously stoned, and is giggling/swaying due to the effects of
the marijuana.  Peggy and I said hello, and after a few words being exchanged
of the intoxicated state she's in, I said that I would come back and sit with
her until she felt better after dropping off Peggy at home.  I returned, and
we sat discussing what she was feeling, problems of her relationship with
her 'boyfriend' etc... At about 2:30 I went home, and she stayed a little
longer, then went home.  I returned to College at Drake U, with the knowlege
that I was going home in a few weeks due to low grades.  I returned home
to Albuquerque about 4 weeks later and called Amy.  We on occasion would go
do things together like see movies, drink coffee at V.I, Etc...  She tended
to call me up to do things, rather than I call her, each time she called she
said something along the lines of, 'Justin's out, Maria is busy, Jenny is
grounded, I'm bored, so I thought you might like to do something.'  I kinda
find this insulting, maybe I'm wierd but it just glares of 'You're not very
important to me'.  So, after a while of this next major situation occurs
 I stop by her new apartment and we talk for a while,  I say "I got stoned
the other day, my FRIEND had some pot and gave me a deal on it"  (notice we
both don't typically do get stoned, so no being judgemental on that note pls)
"So, what would you like to do, catch a movie, or meet my FRIEND?"  I thought
it was QUITE obvious that I was talking about buying some pot, apparently she
didn't.  She said she wanted to meet my friend, so I took her to buy pot.
big upsetting deal with said FRIEND when we had no money, she says take me
home, I can't believe you thought I would do something like that.  screams
at me for being so just like all her friends when she thought I was special
and reams me for the entire ride home.  So, about 2 wks pass and she calls
(I didn't call her during this time)  OH, BTW all during the entire time
we went out, she kept saying "I just want to be friends" as emphatically
as the person who claims there's nobody in the closet to hide someone there
So, I end up going over to her apt.  I bring up the fact that every time we
go drink tea, I listen to her problems, and I do things to help her have
a good time, yet she never does that for me.  I say that I thought she wanted
to get pot, and it was a breakdown in communication.  Perhaps this is the
first real talk we'd had.  She said she didn't like me coming by without    
calling, so I said I'd try to call whenever I could before stopping by.
I added that I hated the way she said fifty people were busy, so I thought
of you.  So, we agreed, smiled, and I left.  1.5 wks later she calls, and
we return to the old going out and seeing movies.  (come to find out, every
time she calls is due to an upsetting situation with a friend -- breakup w/
boyfriend, boyfriend leaving, spat with best friend etc..)  So, One evening
I'm at her apt, and she's very tired.  I notice a book about everything a
woman needs to know about being a woman.  So, I open and read, there's quite
a vivid description of sexual intercourse/romance, and it gets us on the
subject.  I end up getting her permission to give her a massage, and did
so.  Apparently I have above average skill at massage, and she enjoyed it
thoroughly.  She seemed scared about the way things were headed, so I let up
and said that 'You body is purring like a kitten, but you are kinda scared
about this situation' so, we discussed it a little and she claimed a yeast
infection kept her from even thinking of sex w/ someone.  I said fine, 'as
you wish' etc.. and gave her a have a nice evening massage, and left.  That
thurs my parents gave me free tix to a symphony, so I called Amy. I left a
message that the volume of her recording was quite loud.  I called a second
time, left a message saying I was just hoping to catch you.  I called a
third time, and she said 'I'm on the other line with a friend' (which she
said somewhat emphasizing friend)  I said 'how long should I wait to call back'
she said 'I'm going somewhere in a minute, so don't'  Friday, I call her at
work,seeing as I STILL havent had the chance to ask her to the symphony.
she's busy, and her sis takes a message.  Amy calls me back, and bitches me
out saying I'm scaring her by calling so much, and says her neighbor saw me
come by  which I didn't call before doing,  Can't do the concert thing, busy.
So, I feel like shit, and end up calling her later asking her to do things
about three times as of late, and she's always busy, and says to make an
appointment for a month from now, partly in jest.  So, there's my situation
as of this moment.  I personally think I want to tell her to screw herself
yet she's the only woman my age I know.

Rob    

P.S. I don't know how to edit previous lines on this editor easily, so excuse
the non flowing nature, and the lengthyness.
Newsgroups: alt.support