HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: wish me luck
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 18:30:35 GMT

In article <LABTB4FX@cc.swarthmore.edu> chorwit1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Cathy Horwitz) writes:
>Hi,
>I'm new to this board, but I thought I'd share my (I think) very
>romantic idea.  I have never asked out a guy before, but I am VERY
>interested in someone.  I don't know his name or anything about him.  There
>is little chance that I will meet him if I don't approach him.  So... I am
>going to find out his name and mail him an anonymous letter asking him to
>meet me for dinner at my dorm.  Do you think he will come?  (To the guys)
>What would you think if someone did this to
>you?
>
Hi, Cathy.

That does sound romantic, but I do not think it is practical.  If that
had happened to me when I was in college I would probably not
shown up. Some people are more adventurous than others, of course. Some
people want to know your whole life story before they will date you,
others don't even need to know your name.

My idea of a more practical approach would be to make sure you meet
'casually', and then later call him up and ask him out.

I think the best way to meet him would be to have a mutual friend to
arrange an activity for a small group that would include both of you.
If that is not practical, almost any sort of meeting will do, since all
you really need to do is exchange names and make some small contact
so that when you call him up, he will remember who you are.

Good Luck,
Michael.
From: weaver@kuttner.sfc.sony.com (Eric Weaver)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
Date: 17 Nov 92 23:31:48 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: SONY Advanced Video Technology Center San Jose, CA USA


"I'll call you" is masculese for "goodbye."

Sometimes it's masculese for "go away, little girl."
-- 
Eric Weaver  Sony AVTC  677 River Oaks Pkwy, MS 35  SJ CA 95134  408 944-4904
& Chief Engineer, KFJC 89.7 Foothill College, Los Altos Hills CA 94022
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 18:15:42 GMT

In article <lgl06rINNqsi@news.bbn.com> dhardin@spcink.bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
>In article <1992Nov17.194033.20468@informix.com> bradl@neptune.informix.com (Brad Levy) writes:
>>
>>Similarly, alt.romance is a place where most people
>>have agreed to be safe for open expression (kind of like a some church
>>groups). 
>
>In that case, cross-posting to soc.singles is probably a *BIG* mistake.
>We're not very safe.
>
>>I feel I've gotten to know a side of a
>>number of regular posters here - Dawn, Mysti, Jason, Diana, Stephen, Ed,
>>Stewart, Michael, Mike, and others, from what they've revealed of themselves
>>in their posts.
>
>I guess there must be a different Dawn posting over there.

Yea right. :-) :-) :-) Bwahhaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
and in such good company.
 
================================================================================
 Ipsissimus of the Inner Order of Sesquipedalian Fruitcakes 
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: I can't see any in the immediate vicinity...
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 17:01:21 GMT

In article <722088311.28355@minster.york.ac.uk> aaron@minster.york.ac.uk writes:
>Kevin Brown (kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com) wrote:
>: I started working out. I also decided to be very aggressive in approaching 
>: women.
>
>  I would have thought a muscular, agressive man approaching a woman would 
>  have been intimidating and counter-productive. 

Um, well, it takes a while to become muscular, and I'm not there yet (give
it about 8 more months).  In any case, the women weren't/aren't going to
approach me (muscular or not), so it's not like I had much choice in the
matter.

> I suppose being stronger
>  makes it easier to drag them off by the hair though. :-)

Gee, how did you ever figure out how I got my present girlfriend?  I must
admit, it was a bit simpler that way.   :-) :-)


>		Aaron		aaron@minster.york.ac.uk


-- 
Kevin Brown					kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com
This is your .signature virus: < begin 644 .signature (9V]T8VAA(0K0z end >
	    This is your .signature virus on drugs: <>
			Any questions?
From: michael@gandalf.moria (Michael Haardt)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: what kind of flowers indeed
Date: 21 Nov 92 17:46:32 GMT
Reply-To: u31b3hs@pool.informatik.rwth-aachen.de (Michael Haardt)
Organization: An old and gray machine, somewhere in Moria.
Return-Path: <u31b3hs@pool.informatik.rwth-aachen.de>

In article <924318124352@ibm3090.bham.ac.uk>, gandalf!Famous (Composer) writes:
> Flowers are all well and good but they wither and die, just like love

When a flower gets dry, it doesn't mean that it is dead.  You will still
keep it in mind, as you remember when and from who it was given.  Just
like love ... :)

Apart from that, there is a dry single red rose standing in my room.  I
could not throw it away after it got dry.  Guess if I am in love ... :-)))

Michael "root"
--
"root and Twiggs are a wonderful tree" (tm) root & Twiggs since 8 months :)
From: aarons@yang.earlham.edu
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: chocolate zrbrts, or Re: net.hugs?
Date: 18 Nov 92 19:25:00 GMT
Organization: Earlham College, Richmond, Indiana

In article <1edqtvINNjq@moe.ksu.ksu.edu>, tipping@phys.ksu.edu (Tracy N. Tipping) writes:
> In article <Bxvxyx.Mqq@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU> stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andrews) writes:
>>
>>Try <kiss>, <smooch>, <zerbit> (don't ask!), <sigh>, <laugh>, <confused smile>
>                        ^^^^^^^^
> 
> I've had zerbits too.  They're great with milk.
> 
> Tracy
> 
> --
> =====================================================================
> tipping@phys.ksu.edu              |			"I got half."
> tipping@ksuvm.bitnet		  |			 -Marc Troike
> =====================================================================

Or chocolate!
Bwa!						Aaron Geestock

P.S. I didn't post this to soc.singles!!!!!
-- 
Aaron G. Stock          |          Ace Pumpkin
aarons@yang.earlham.edu | Peter Gabriel Fan and Abalone Player
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drawer 1735	 |"And in this moment, I need to be needed
Earlham College	 | When my self-esteem is sinking, I like to be liked
Richmond, Indiana| In this emptiness and fear, I want to be wanted
47374		 | 'Cos I love to be loved, I love to be loved" -Peter Gabriel
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: my opinions only
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 18:14:05 GMT

In article <lgnjnfINNldj@news.bbn.com> dhardin@spcink.bbn.com
(Dawn Hardin) writes:

>A zerbit is when one takes a baby, pulls its undershirt up to bare its
>chubby little stomach, puts one lips onto bare stomach, and says "BLLLBPTH!"
>The baby then squeals with joy, and rips a handful or two of hair out to
>show its appreciation.
>
>I suppose you could do it to older people to, but they probably won't squeal
>and as far as I'm concerned that's the whole point.

I also disagree.  I guess we'll just have to test this out at the boink...

Seth	(Then there's the friend who used to do that, followed by biting
slightly and claiming "I'm a naval destroyer".)	sethb@fid.morgan.com
From: smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: Gagging Sloth Records
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 18:21:13 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.130850.24192@dgbt.doc.ca>, michele@dgbt.doc.ca (Michele Guillet) writes:

|> I agree with you. I think we forget easily that touch is needed, 
|> infants that aren't held don't develop normally. It is sad when the
|> house pet gets more attention and touch than the people living there.
|> I have notice that friends who comes to my house will almost always
|> pet my dog but often will not hug me or kiss me. Of course, my dog
|> is hard to ignore, she makes it clear that she wants and expects
|> a pet. I learned from her to ask for hugs and kisses, know what,
|> I am getting a lot more since I started asking.

Hmmm...the last time I tried walking up to someone, rubbing up against
their leg and putting my nose in their crotch, I getsmacked. Maybe that
was the wrong approach?

jds

***************************************************************************
                               * Health and knowledge and wealth and power,
Jeff Smith                     * Passion and poems and sex
smith@fl08-g.comm.mot.com      * I wear a smile like a leather glove,
                               * I won't shut my mouth for less.
                                                - shriekback
***************************************************************************
From: keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Is it just me....
Date: 16 Nov 92 23:19:52 GMT
Organization: California-Nevada Methodist Homes

In article <1992Nov13.153229.22308@panix.com> jis@panix.com (Jack Szwergold) writes:
>Is it just me, or is it harder to meet people nowadays (for men and women)
>Is this due to health risks (AIDS and the such)
>Is this due to lack of stability in the country as a whole? (I know this
>I'd like to hear some other thoughts on this......

I think it's harder to meet because most women have been forced to
operate under a state of paranoia, to some extent.  They have to
treat any man who approaches them with kid gloves.  This is due to
the instances of Date Rape and the issues of sexual harrassment.
In the old days, people met at the office.  The percentages of
people who met and married at the office were high.  We've all
seen the surveys.  Nowadays, if one is at the office, just saying
hello to a lady can be misconstrued as sexual harrassment.  If
a guy has an attraction to a lady, if he says hello to her, and
she has no reciprocal feelings whatsoever, she may even get
offended that he even said hello to her, and she could then
complain to the boss about the "guy over there" who is bothering
her.  He then gets written up or worse, fired for sexual harassment
when all he did was say "hello".  So when one writes off 
trying to meet someone at the office, the pickings become
slimmer, due to time constraints.  Also, the lack of stability
in the country does have something to do with a difficulty in
meeting a mate as well.  We are a mobile society, and by 
moving around a lot, we aren't able to develop the relationships
that can lead to permanency.  With the economy the way it is, 
people who have jobs are working longer hours, thereby making
their time for interaction go down.
--Keith

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: petitc@nuge103.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit)
Subject: A Question
Reply-To: petitc@rpi.edu
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy, NY.
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 17:38:04 GMT


  I have a simple question:

  If you _knew_ you had to break up with your SO, no way out, would you want
to have an exact date, or not?  And what would you do before the imminent
breakup?

-- 
Trust:  A very precious social commodity, due both to high value and terrible
scarcity.
MATWDTM:  Mothers Against Teenagers Who Drink Too Much (failed name for MADD)
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
Date: 17 Nov 1992 13:45:43 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.41

In article <00963A4C.F93ABC60@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>Okay, guys.  What does "I'll call you," REALLY mean.  I'm fairly sure it's a
>handy exit line that doesn't really mean anything, and I don't expect much
>whenever I hear it.  But I'm wondering if there are any tips on how to tell if
>a guy's just saying it or he really means it (aside from the obvious, i.e.
>waiting for the phone to ring).  How often have you said it, intending to call,
>but then changed your mind?  And why?

I've never done this to someone in this particular context (chance would
be a fine thing! (Oh shut up moaning Stewart! Sorry. :-))), but I'm sure
I understand much of the problem. I've certainly done it with friends &
acquaintances, on phone, letters & email. I view it as embarrassing, but 
normal (but then again, I am a wannabe biker bastard from hell! ;-)).

It's 3 main possibilities:

1. The most common & obvious is as you've already spotted (but perhaps not
   *accepted*) is that it is just a handy throwaway line for the heat of
   the moment as a nice thing to say -- think of it as a nice light compliment
   which doesn't have a literal meaning. It's just saying "I enjoyed my
   time with you enough to say something pleasantly innocuous that's a
   cliche that everyone says".

   *IT OFTEN, PERHAPS *NORMALLY*, DOESN'T MEAN WHAT IT LITERALLY SAYS*
   *IT'S A CLICHE WHOSE MEANING IS LARGELY LOST*

2. The person who currently holds the initiative (the one whose expected
   to call) is put under (a little) stress, and outside the heat of the moment,
   there's a good chance they'll feel less confident to call you "in the
   morning" (to use a cliche). This can get serious if the man is a wimp like
   most :-), as you start to worry about calling, this makes you hesitate,
   time moves on, you get more worried, you feel guilty about the delay,
   you worry more... etc. And you never end up calling at all, or if the
   person is important enough, you call eventually in a few months.

3. They forgot. :-)

Well, that's what I think. However, if I was on the receiving end, I'd feel 
pretty miffed too! :-) I think it's a generic failing of *people*, not just
men.

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Help, I need advice...
From: jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner)
Date: 17 Nov 92 01:21:33 EST
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

csr4@po.CWRU.Edu (Christopher S. Redding) writes:
> 
> 
> I just developed a very close friendship with someone that I am
> very interested in, but there is a problem. 

who'd ah thunk? :^) sound familiar anyone?

> I have already attempted to become romantically involved with her, 
> but she politely told me she...

don't say it! don't...

> ...liked us better as friends even though she was interested herself.

well there it is.

> The reason why she did not want to start a relationship was because 
> she abruptly ended one about 3 months ago for no specific reason, 
> and she still has this other person in her heart. This other guy is 
> dating someone, and he treats her like yesterday's trash, but there 
> are sometimes when she REALLY hates him, and there are sometimes 
> when she doesn't know how to feel about him. How can I persuade her 
> to put this other guy out of her mind? She will not start a 
> relationship on such shaky grounds. If I can do that, how do I tell 
> her how I feel, already failing once? Please send me advice, or 
> post it here. Thanks in advance.

take this for whatever you think it's worth.

- you cannot persuade her to put this guy out of her mind. there's
  no way to do it.
- until she -does-, this is one very dangerous woman to try to get
  involved with. people with unresolved relationships in their pasts
  generally aren't ready to start building new ones.
- it would be a bad idea to tell her how you feel.

what -can- you do?

not much that will change her. you do have control over your own actions,
and coincidentally enough, that's probably the approach that will work
best.

- continue to be her friend.
- try not to get involved with her personal life too much. listen a 
  lot. don't offer too much advice, because your judgement is most 
  likely clouded. this is something she needs to get over on her own.
- keep your distance. balancing friendship and this point will probably
  be the most difficult part. don't let her take you for granted.
- try not to take this too seriously. don't get into a situation 
  where you 'need' her. that's pathetic, not at all the way you want
  to look (or BE).
- think about yourself first. she very well may not be the one you're
  looking for. if she's not & you make her your life you'll lose bigtime.
  if you concentrate on making -yourself- into what you'd like to
  be that will help you for the rest of your life, no matter who you
  end up with.

no guarantees, but it worked well enough for me. only 25 more days...

jason

--
  "More life, more love, more freedom, more choice!" - MORTAL, Painkiller
`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu ,`,`,`
From: aland@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Alan D.)
Subject: Re: First date on Friday the 13th
Reply-To: aland@cs.brandeis.edu
Organization: As little as possible
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 04:55:30 GMT

jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu (jason 'Think!' steiner) writes:
>spp@zabriskie.berkeley.edu (Steve Pope) writes:
>> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>> >Ok, I had a first date on Friday the 13th.  Is this a good thing?
>> How are we supposed to know?  You tell *us* whether it was a good thing!
>oh wow! my SO & i had our first 'real' date on Friday the 13th as well.
>didn't even think about what that was supposed to mean. was too happy
>with (barely) getting tickets to see Dracula. (good movie. go see. twice.)

I had a job interview on Friday the 13th...  I _THINK_ it went well; I
should find out this week... ;)  Not very romantic in & of itself, but
if I get the job my girlfriend will be happy ('cause it means I will
definitely be staying in the area after grad school... *grin*)...

	-=Alan
From: martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: 19 Nov 92 03:24:36 GMT
	<Bxvxyx.Mqq@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU>
	<1992Nov18.172758.24014@beaver.cs.washington.edu>
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: dbj@cs.washington.edu's message of 18 Nov 92 17:27:58 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.172758.24014@beaver.cs.washington.edu> dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson) writes:

   Soc.singles, on the other hand, is a fairly 'gropey-snarly' group
   filled with nasty, bitter people who like to pick on anyone who
   says anything remotely cute.  E-mail/news tends to be quite nasty
   in it's nature between everyone.  People are just as obnoxious and
   cynical in person.

Thank god.

   >There are lots of other <affectionate actions> or just <actions> too..
   >
   >Try <kiss>, <smooch>, <zerbit> (don't ask!), <sigh>, <laugh>,
   ><confused smile> <smiles>, <laughs till he cries>, <giggle>,
   ><strange look>, <here we go again look>...

   Here on soc.singles we tend to use other expressions, such
   as <snarf>, <gag>, <SNORK>, and <*barf*>.

I would like to know more about these zerbit's though.
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: dks@sr.com (Dave K. Sprow)
Subject: Re: Plea
Reply-To: dks@srhqla.UUCP (Dave K. Sprow)
Organization: Silent Radio, Los Angeles
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 20:33:38 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.010332.12466@cs.uwp.edu> itzenhui@cs.uwp.edu (Steve Itzenhuiser) writes:
>
>I am only 24 years old, but believe in previous lives (though I do not
>know what they were) and believe that I know a lot about this world--the
>way it works and why things happen when they happen, etc.  My
>understanding of the world lies in my understanding of myself.  This may
>sound truly bazaar to some of you, but I know that there are others out
a            ^^^^^^
Let me guess... you were a merchant in the Middle East somewhere

>there like me and my friends--you're not alone.  However, out of all the
>knowledge that I have gained over the X-amount of life times that I have
>been on this earth, I can not, for the life of me understand LOVE!!!
>I am now interested in one particular woman (who I really hope doesn't
>read this).  She is intelligent and wise (a combination hard to find), and
>also quite stunning.  She has expressed interest in me, though I don't
>know to what extent, though that in itself can keep me in check for some time.
>My biggest problem, however, is that I become very absorbed into a woman
>and thus become anxious.  I don't know what to think when she does this or
>that, I don't quite know how to act and react.  I know that I should be
>myself, but I do so much want to be with her but I do not want to push her
>away.  I become quite stressed.  Do I relax, do I tell her of my anxiety,
>or what?  I would really appreciate a bit 'o advice.
>
Well, you sound insecure to me and that's not bad, but not particularly fun.
You're letting her dictate the "terms" of things without even letting her
know there *is* a "game" afoot.  Just ask her out, tell her you're interested
in her and see what she says.  Rejection, if it happens, ain't *that* bad.
'Course it does tend to put a damper on the fantasy part :-)

If you're becoming "absorbed" by her, well, that's not a good dign, IMO.
But *fanasty* has the abiliity to do that.  Get back to 'reality', i.e.
more down to earth.  Just *talk* to her and tell her you find her ______
(your choice) and say you'd like to spend some time getting to know her
better.  Might as well.  If she is or becomes interested in youm then
fantasy can become reality (which is *much* more fun, IMO). If not, then
you can get with your life and find someone else.  No one person is
the "all".              

>
>"If there's a new way, I'll be the first in line."
>				-Dave Mustain
>

David S.


Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 92 11:28:06 GMT

In article <31517@hydra.Helsinki.FI> taina@cs.Helsinki.FI (Juha Taina) writes:
>In <13NOV92.21925419.0026@lafibm.lafayette.edu> CE42@lafibm.lafayette.edu (CE42000) writes:
>>>I too am new to this news group so hi, y'all.  I was ungraciously dumped
>>Hi! *hug* and welcome to ARC!
>
>I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net.  What
>is the value of them?  Would you also hug and kiss a stranger in real
>life?

Why not?  I've licked whipped cream off a few strangers (and enjoyed it);
I don't see how hugging them could be much more outre'.

Trygve    (I am very picky, however--I don't lick just any stranger.) 
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: University of Hawaii, Dept. of Electrical Engineering
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 08:38:48 GMT

In article <1e6khkINN9s1@FUNCTOR.SYSTEMSZ.CS.YALE.EDU> loosemore-sandra@cs.yale.edu (Sandra Loosemore) writes:
>
>The main problem I've had with meeting guys at work lately, though, is
>that these days all the ones in my own age group seem to be married
>already.  I'm not sure if that's Yale, or just me getting old and
>decrepit.  :-(
>
>-Sandra the cynic

That seems to be the case no matter where you go in the public scene, the
good ones are taken and it DOES make you feel a little older especially if
you are single and work at a university where very few are even close your
own age but certainly look available.  The frustration of all that I said
brings out the devil character on your shoulder saying to go for them all
and age tells the little trickerster to go on his own.  And I agree with
relationships in the same area of work.  If you get into those, you BETTER
be the boss.

David holding his own

Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles