HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: souchay@CAM.ORG (Francois Souchay)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 18 Nov 92 02:30:15 GMT
Organization: Communications Accessibles Montreal, Quebec Canada

In article <1992Nov17.083848.23732@news.Hawaii.Edu> deb@spectra.eng.hawaii.edu (David Barrett) writes:
>In article <1e6khkINN9s1@FUNCTOR.SYSTEMSZ.CS.YALE.EDU> loosemore-sandra@cs.yale.edu (Sandra Loosemore) writes:
>>
>>The main problem I've had with meeting guys at work lately, though, is
>>that these days all the ones in my own age group seem to be married
>>already.  I'm not sure if that's Yale, or just me getting old and
>>decrepit.  :-(
>>-Sandra the cynic
>
>That seems to be the case no matter where you go in the public scene, the
>good ones are taken and it DOES make you feel a little older...

Well, I avoid that problem by moving away when a suspiciously large
percentage of my acquaintances start getting married & having babies.

Nothing like being a hightech nomad. (1/4 smiley). 

Of course, seeing my nieces (8 & 6) _really_ makes me feel the weight
of time. 

Francois.
From: caldwem@atlantis.CS.ORST.EDU (Twiggs)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: LDR Contest!
Date: 22 Nov 92 14:20:30 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Outreach Services - Oregon State University

steve@rmit.edu.au (Steve Iatropoulos) writes:

>In article <199211090210.AA00671@mihi.une.edu.au> jbell@mihi.une.edu.au (Master of Puppets) writes:
>>From: jbell@mihi.une.edu.au (Master of Puppets)
>>Subject: Re: LDR Contest!
>>Date: 8 Nov 1992 20:11:20 -0600

>>zyang@nyx.cs.du.edu (Zhaohui Yang):
>>> scott@ssvs.gsfc.nasa.gov (Tom Scott) writes:
>>> 
>>>>I'm more a reader than a writer, but here's a quick start for a thread:
>>>>Who's got the longest? (Oops, obsede', that sounds like alt.sex material)
>>> 
>>>>Some lines I've noticed since finding a.r:
>>>>mvb@po.CWRU.Edu (Michael V. Barreca) says:
>>>>>Great, now I'm depressed. (my girlfriend lives 300 miles away)
>>>>stuarta@syd.dms.csiro.au (Stuart Andrews) says:
>>>>>She live in Melbourne, Australia, and I in Sydney, Australia
>>>>>A separation of some 750 kilimetres. If that isn't a LDR,
>>>>>nothing is :-)
>>well, I live in Armidale, NSW, Autralia
>>and the woman I love, who does not love me anymore
>>lives in Bloomington, Indiana, USA

>>is that far enough???


>>--
>>/------------------------jbell@mihi.une.edu.au--------------------------\
>>| Strange how laughter looks like crying with no sound, | Justin Bell   |
>>| Raindrops taste like tears without the pain.          | +61-67-72-6247|
>>\-------------90 Taylor St., Armidale, NSW, 2350, AUSTRALIA-------------/


>Ok beat this:
>	1 yr LDR from Melbourne to Denny, Scotland...

>Never ever ever again....

>Steve
>steve@rmit.edu.au
ok dont know if we can beat that but i am in Albany Oregon USA and he is in
Aachen Germany we have known each other 1 year and in love 8 months now
this is over 5000 miles and that is far enough i fell in love with my best
friend and he is still my best freind *hugs* Michael see you soon .....guess what *smiles* 
to all the LDRs hang in there love knows no bounds its the strongets force,
there is only time is against you and that goes away fast remember the moon
you look at on you end of the world is the same they look at the sun that
warms you also warm them just at a different time is all  if its worth 
having its worth a little pain just think of when you are together hand in
hand smileing at each other :)

Love you Michael see you on IRC *big hugs*

Twiggs is caldwem@jacobs.cs.orst.edu (root and Twiggs are a wonderful tree)

Thanks to the internet we all get time together and faster 

Mary aka Twiggs 
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14086 soc.singles:30803
From: taina@cs.Helsinki.FI (Juha Taina)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 16 Nov 92 13:08:25 GMT
Organization: University of Helsinki, Finland

In <JULIE.92Nov14210234@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu> julie@cucbs.chem.columbia.edu (Julie Wright) writes:
>amymw@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Amy Wisotsky) writes:
>>A new boy/girlfriend can be found when the person is ready to find
>>one.

>Wow!  It's that simple, huh?  :)

No, it's not.  I wish it were. :) The general opinion is about that
the secret is to meet as many new people as possible and eventually
someone special arrives.  This sounds good, but it's not a working
solution for people who tend to spend time alone or are somewhat shy
to talk to strangers.  Oh well, perhaps they aren't ready to find a
new boy/girlfriend then.

-- 
Juha Taina  taina@cs.helsinki.fi  Phone: +358-0-708-4247
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu (Billy H. Chan)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Though I have released you
Date: 18 Nov 1992 10:31:02 GMT
Organization: U.C. Berkeley, CS Undergraduate Association
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Nov17.193935.1@ntc02.tele.nokia.fi>
 nagji@ntc02.tele.nokia.fi writes:
	I'm posting this on behalf of a special friend

This Poem's very true, if it's original, congratualate the
author for me.  (Brings back some memories)

	Though I have released you

	-----
	In my mind, in my heart,
	I have let you go.
	I will never understand
	what caused things to go awry,
	unless someday, 
	you choose to tell me why.
	But I have let you go anyway,
	Because I must.  

In general, how does someone find out what really went wrong
in a relationship?  I mean, does one go and ask directly?  How
do you think the other person would feel if asked such a direct
question?  I know it depends on the situation, but let's kill the
disclaimers and just present what we think are the 'average' or
usual answers/reactions/etc.

	But this does not mean that
	I will stop caring.
	I can never do that, 
	though it seems to be something
	that you are capable of.

How -does- one stop caring (or is this that same question on the
other thread about getting over a failed relationship (I've lost
that thread somehow))?  If you broke up with someone (I don't know
the reason and will not supply one), how would you react if you know
or found out that the other person still cares alot for you?  What
if you don't care about him/her anymore, how would you react?

	No.  I have let you go,
	I have purged the painful
	memories from my heart.

	I am certain now, that
	to you, I have become
	nothing more than
	a dusty, tattered memory.
	A yellowed, fading page,
	stuffed in the back
	of a junk drawer.

	I too, am putting away my 
	memories. 
	It has taken me longer,
	because my caring runs deep
	like a vein of gold in rocky ground.
	I am slowly putting away 
	the painful memories.  
	In time, I will discard them. 

	But there is one set of images 
	I will never discard: 
	The softness of your touch. 
	The sound of your laughter.
	The sparkle of mischief in your eyes
	when you smiled at me.

	Though I have released you,
	Though I no longer need you,
	These are memories which rarely
	occur in one's lifetime.
	Memories to cherish.

	These I will keep,
	Close to my heart,
	
	Always.

(sorry for quoting the whole poem, but in case someone missed it the
first time around, well, there it is again) (Note: poem indented to 
appease my stupid Pnews program (which doesn't allow me to write less
than I quote)
-- 
----------------------------------------------------------------
Billy H. Chan 	<bhchan@ocf.berkeley.edu>   "Life: a strange new
Just Babbling   <bhchan@soda.berkeley.edu>   state of confusion"
Disclaimer 1:   I'm actually a really nice person. (sorta) :) ;)
From: pm3_norr@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Paul Norris)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
Date: 17 Nov 92 22:26:23 GMT
Organization: University of the West of England, Bristol

In article <00963A4C.F93ABC60@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
}Okay, guys.  What does "I'll call you," REALLY mean.

Don't know Cheryl, you tell me!  It's a line that gets used by women as well.
The last young lady that I took an interest in to the extent of actually 
forcing out the words "What are you doing this weekend?" said she'd check her 
diary  and get back to me - she didn't.

}  I'm fairly sure it's a handy exit line that doesn't really mean anything, 
}and I don't expect much whenever I hear it.  But I'm wondering if there are 
}any tips on how to tell if a guy's just saying it or he really means it

That's a good one.  In the above it was probably being used as an "easy"
letdown (I still see her about at work and we're still friendly), but my
experience doesn't hold out much hope for it to be much other than an "out".

Paul


-- 
Remember.  A Dragon is for life.
Not just for Hogswatchnight.
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: sethb@fid.morgan.com (Seth Breidbart)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: my opinions only
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1992 00:25:15 GMT

In article <7067@news.duke.edu> diamond@acpub.duke.edu
(Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
>In article <oneil.721965040@cwis> oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:

>>Well, not quite, but I find that things happen when you least expect them
>>to happen. 
>
>This is the understatement of the week.  Last year during an eight-week  period
>starting sometime in October and ending about two weeks before Christmas,
>EVERYONE wanted to go out with me (well, okay, actually a fairly small 
>subset of everyone- felt like everyone, though) right while I was trying
>to figure out whether or not to go to graduate school, and I nearly 
>experienced a total breakdown.  It's nice to be popular, but there's such
>a thing as an embarassment of riches.

>Of course, such situations never last.  Sniffle.  Sob.

And, of course, given the workings of Murphy's Laws, that period was
when you had 5 term papers, 4 finals, a job, and the flu.

Seth		sethb@fid.morgan.com

Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: scythe@hardy.u.washington.edu (The Grim Reaper)
Subject: Re: Plea
Keywords: love=fear?
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 02:01:28 GMT

In article <00963CC9.28D2E000@Msu.oscs.montana.edu> oopcv@Msu.oscs.montana.edu writes:
>In article <1edhgoINNj9t@bHARs12c.bnr.co.uk>, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) writes:
>>In article <1992Nov18.010332.12466@cs.uwp.edu> itzenhui@cs.uwp.edu (Steve Itzenhuiser) writes:
>>>
>>Still, you sound nice enough, and are reacting just like everyone else
>>(ie. you're scared shitless of the woman of your dreams -- well, it's
>>normal in *my* book! :-)) and if she is, go for it!
>>
>IS it truly normal to be scared to death of the man/woman of your dreams? 
>There's a guy who practically gives me panic attacks, and for the life of
>me I can't figure out *why*.  Is this the reason?  TELL ME!!!

Sounds pretty normal to me.  In general, you're scared of people 
that you're fascinated by, because you're afraid of embarrassing
yourself in front of them.  Of course, people you aren't in love
with can also scare you, such as big burly guys with sawed-off
shotguns =)


 +---------------------+-------------------------+
 + HIC IACET ARTVRVS   + The Grim Reaper         +
 + IN INSVLA AVALONIA  + SCYTHE@U.WASHINGTON.EDU +
 + REX QVONDAM REXQVE  +-------------------------+
 + FVTVRVS             +
 +---------------------+
"Though I respect that a lot,          They Might Be Giants -  
 I'd be fired if that was my job,           "Birdhouse in Your Soul
 For killing Jason off
 And countless screaming Argonauts"
From: pm3_norr@csd.uwe.ac.uk (Paul Norris)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Getting Married: Grounds for Insanity Plea?
Keywords: Off Your Rocker
Date: 17 Nov 92 22:20:28 GMT
Organization: University of the West of England, Bristol


 alex@mentor.cc.purdue.edu ( ) writes:

[Travis' request for good reasons to marry...][munch][burp]

}     I'm hoping that this is nothing more than a very cynical joke.
}If it is, it's a very sick one.   But you wanted three good reasons,
}so here they are.

No, I think he's genuinely, if slightly cynically, enquiring.

}1)  It gives one a good excuse to live in the same house as your SO.

These days, who needs an excuse?  If you love one another, want to be
together, want to share the downs and mundanities as well as the ups and 
special occasions all you need to do is decide to move in together.

}2)  Marriage shows that you love your SO enough that you are willing
}    to commit your entire life to them, making the bond between you
}    that much stronger.

This I tend to agree with, but as others have pointed out, divorce rates
show that an awful lot of people make that commitment and regret it later.

}3)  It gives one a personal captive audience for any and all cynicism
}    which one chooses to spew from that time forward.

Same reply as for point one  :)

}The Idea behind marraige is that two people are willing to work
}together, in order to share their lives together with some sort
}of greater emotional attachment.  If you are unwilling to work
}at problems, don't get married.  For those of us whose relationships
}are based on trust and understanding, there is nothing wrong with it.

The idea behind committing to live together is to share your lives and grow
with each other by so doing.  For those who have relationships based on trust
and understanding  etc...


}>So, seriously, folks:  Why the hell buckle yourself into a social
}>straitjacket you'll (statistically) probably want out of a few
}>years down the road?

}Simply because most people on this newsgroup have no wish to be, or
}intention of ever becoming, a statistic.

But that's the whole problem.  *Nobody* has any intention of being a 
statisitc, but statistics are made up of what happens to individuals, 
everything form divorce rates, to causes of death to market share for
the latest brand of breakfast cereal.

}  Face it, nothing's ever set in stone.
}We choose what happens in our lives, and if you choose not to 
}make your own choices, then you will indeed wind up as a "statistic".
}Live your life, and you'll be too busy having fun to worry about
}some pathetic number.

But statistics come from lots of people making their own choices - and 
sometimes having choices made for them (I don't intend to end up as a cause
of death statistic, but sooner or later I will...)  After all, if everybody
made the same choices, life would be very boring   ;)


Paul


-- 
Remember.  A Dragon is for life.
Not just for Hogswatchnight.
Organization: Sophomore, Chemistry, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 01:45:07 -0500 
From: David-Hyung Suk Kim <dk3y+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: HELP: Sucks to be me!!!

I'm new to this group and I may need some help.  Here's the story.
I go to the church once a week and I met this girl there.  When I first
talked to her, she seemed very pleasant and honest.  The second time I
talked to her I called her up and I asked her out  but she told me that
she had a paper to write.  But she said maybe next time.  When I was
about to hang up my phone, she started making conversation.  This
continued for about a minute and eventually she hung up.(we said bye) 
My plan was to ask her out again on weekend this time.  Since the only
time I usually see her is in the church, I was going to ask her out when
I meet her there.  Unfortunately she didn't show up on that day.  The
next day I was eating at the cafeteria with my friends and suddenly she
walks in with another guy and sat down on another table with their
friends.  But the problem was that as soon as she sat down to face me,
she got up again and sat down on the chair across from her.(her back on
me)  I was very curious and surprised why she did such a thing.  Ever
since this experiment, somehow I got this feeling that she was tring to
avoid me or something.  The thing is she was the one that approached me
in the beginning and I had the feeling that she liked me.  But I guess
my predictions were wrong.  I mean she does hang around with this one
guy constantly.  But according to some of her friends, he is not her
boyfriend.  I really don't know what's going on.  
I think it's true that relationship develops when you don't try hard. 
Because I think too much of her and I try to force the relationship. 
Based on my past experience, I get into the relationship easier if I
don't force it.  
But I still don't know why she is trying to avoid me.  I would
appreciate your advice and comments.

DAve 

Xref: sparky alt.romance:14140 soc.singles:30926
From: jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton)
Subject: Re: net.hugs? (apology)
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: na
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 22:04:45 GMT

In article <23NOV199216392515@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov> afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes:
>
>>No s**t.
>
>I guess *that's* a matter of opinion...
 
 What does no suit have to do with this?
 
>
>
>Joo guys ever notice that your group name is an oxymoron ? If you were 
>sociable, you wouldn't still be single now would you ? 
>
>:-)
>
>-- Stephen

and everybody posting to a.r. is romantic and they just post to hear
themselves read. K:P
 
================================================================================
 Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. DoD#564. There ain't no more.
================================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: andrew@idacom.hp.com (Andrew Scott)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Reply-To: andrew@idacom.hp.com (Andrew Scott)
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, IDACOM Telecommunications Division
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 92 21:14:19 GMT

I'm not sure who to attribute the following quote to.  Something got lost
in the deep chain of references.

>I don't think it's a good
>idea to be alone too long.  I know a awful lot of men and women who've done
>such a fabulous job of adjusting to singlehood that they no longer date, simply
>because it's too much trouble and they can't be bothered.  Literally.

What's wrong with that?  If they're doing a "fabulous job" and are
comfortable with their new lives, why question their choice of not dating?

A year and a half ago I separated from my wife.  We had been married for
5 1/2 years and dated for 4 years before that.  Since then I've had to
adjust to singlehood also, and its been a worthwhile (but painful) experience.
I've learned a lot about myself and I've done many things I would not have
had the chance to do otherwise.

I haven't gone on a date since then and I don't intend to.  Perhaps it's
"too much trouble" for me also.  However, I made the choice to look after
myself and I think I'm doing a reasonable job of that.  I don't need another
person to complete my life.  I'd rather become a whole person by myself.

There is nothing wrong with being single!

-- 
Andrew Scott                    | andrew@idacom.hp.com
HP IDACOM Telecom Division      | (403) 462-0666 ext. 253

It ain't no sin to be glad you're alive!  -- Bruce Springsteen
From: dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I know she takes me for granted, but...
Date: 17 Nov 92 19:24:18 GMT
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, London Road, Harlow, England.
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.199.202.41

In article <1992Nov16.182214.24828@jetsun.weitek.COM> weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver) writes:
>In article <1e5d68INNgue@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> ch617@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Brad Hill) writes:
>>
>>[Deleted stuff about friend who Brad wants to get closer to]

>[Deleted stuff from the ever excellent net.god Michael]

I can't add much to the good advice posted by Michael and the others, but
I just wanted to say that the same happened to me as Brad. However, things
went on further in my case.

Eventually I became more and more frustrated with "not getting anywhere",
and I tried to address this by being more direct about how I felt about
her. Big mistake. It was also awkward because as I wanted to get closer,
for unrelated reasons (I think) she wanted to become less close. More
problems.

In the end, we had a few "difficult talks", and finally, when I couldn't
take it any longer, I decided she couldn't have any more of me, my time or
my attention. Now I avoid her. She didn't want a total breakup, but it's
tough.

I'm not happy. I still really like her. It hurts. It's a pain. But she 
doesn't deserve me. And she's not gonna have me.

Do *you* want to get like this, Brad? Nah. Find someone else to lust
after, not this unobtainable selfish one-way friend.

===========================================================================
Stewart Tansley     | BNR Europe Limited              |  'Be cool, or be
                    | London Rd, Harlow, CM17 9NA, UK |    cast out...'
dswt@bnr.co.uk      | +44 279 429531 x2763 (ESN 742)  | Subdivisions, Rush
===========================================================================
  'You know how that rabbit feels -- going under your speeding wheels...'
===========================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: eda735a@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au (P.E. Mazur)
Subject: Re: Becoming attracted to friends
Summary: yup
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 1992 10:52:47 GMT

In article <11NOV199218080865@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov>, casey@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov (Sean Casey GSFC (301)286-4558) writes:
> In article <1992Nov11.194310.12209@oswego.Oswego.EDU>, DUDE@OSWEGO!UB! ( ) writes...
> >friend that I am very much attracted to. We met last spring and kept in
> >touch over the summer through letters. During the summer she began to date
> >someone else, but that relationship crashed with the coming of fall. At the
> >moment I know she isn't seeing anyone and we spend all are time together.
> >We go out every weekend and yet our relationship has remained purerly on
> >a platonic level. I know she has some feelings for me yet she seems very
> >much afraid of commitment. I am aware that she has had very poor experience
> >with dating and she tells me that although she's attracted to me,she feels
> >much safer as just friends.
> >  There are many things that stand between us. Our political view are com-
> >pletely opposite and we are from different religious backgrounds. She
> >worries that relationships hinder independence, while I think they make
> >a person more free.
> >  She was beaten as a child and her father abandoned her, Thus she is in
> >a way distrustful of men.
> >  On the other hand, as friends we could not be closer. I still want more
> >from the relationship. The only thing I can do is continue to be there for
> >her and to show her that I truly care. I hope that in this way she will
> >eventually see that I am not a threat to her. Perhaps someone out there
> >on the net will have some useful advise.
> > 
> >  I would like to mention that I'm not just trying to get her in the
> >sack. She is an important person to me and when I say more out of the
> >relationship, I am more concerned with emotional love than physical. I
> >desire a permanant relationship.
> 
> 
>   Sounds like you a getting ready for the big fall there. I'd be
>   ready for some hard times ahead. Cause when she's ready to fall
>   for somebody else, you can expect to feel like yesterday's
>   newspaper.
> 
>   SC (just my opinion)
> 
Agreed!  As I posted previosly here, this combination of mixing frienship
and love is like drink driving.  It's something you learn sooner or later...
but it's a damn painfull way to learn from experience.  *sigh*
				- Shem
From: yucao@cco.caltech.edu (Yu Cao, aka Bobbo)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: A Question
Date: 16 Nov 1992 07:38:18 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: jomby.caltech.edu

In article <l0t1a#b@rpi.edu> petitc@rpi.edu writes:
>
>  I have a simple question:
>
>  If you _knew_ you had to break up with your SO, no way out, would you want
>to have an exact date, or not?  And what would you do before the imminent
>breakup?
>

If it is anything like my last experience, I would break up right away.
For me there actually was a date that we knew beforehand, but we lingered
several weeks after that, which only added to the pain.

--B
-- 
Yu Cao 					yucao@cco.caltech.edu
Caltech 103-33                          
Pasadena, CA 91125