HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Wax")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: cathy's response to sioux's flames
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:18:40 GMT
	<MJD.92Dec12143627@saul.cis.upenn.edu>
	<1992Dec13.155344.2809@cnsvax.uwec.edu>
	<BzA8Ks.Doq@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM>
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM's message of 15 Dec 92 04:02:47 GMT

In article <BzA8Ks.Doq@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM> jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods) writes:
>   That's assuming that mjd and the chainsaw don't find him first.

    Yeah, right.  Like I'm really going to schlep out to nowhere'svill,
Wisconsin, just to chop up someone I'm never going to hear from again.
There are plenty of people right here in beautiful Philadelphia to chop.
As greg nowak once told me: ``You must learn the principle of sufficient
force, Grasshopper.'' The whirling, rotating blades of my tumescent,
throbbing KILL file are sufficient to remove Joachim from my life
(there's that word again), and no metal things are necessary, or
warranted.  

I possess:

	8lb Sledgehammer	(`Jasper')
	Machete			(no name)
	Wood Ax			(`Paulina')

    As yet, I do not own a sledgehammer, but it seems to me that using a
motorized tool is unmanly---you ought to put some muscle in sweat into
your work, dammit---not to mention less horrific.

    Come to me, my children, for I care not whether you have a life; all
I want to devour is your personality.
--
                     'Bah!' said Scrooge, 'Humbug!'
 Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: Dealing with toots
Followupsto: talk.bizarre,misc.test
Organization: University of Central Florida
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 13:42:04 GMT

john@little-jimmy.cs.unlv.edu (John Kilburg) writes:

>A friend in high school showed me a little trick which we called
>a 'Fart Cup':

>When you are about to fart, cup your hand over your asshole and hold it
>there until the farting is over.  Quickly close you hand.  Now place
>it over someone's nose.  The results speak for themselves.

>							-john

>p.s. It really works.  Even on yourself.

The John Kilburg School of Humor:

1.  Ever see a match burn twice?
2.  Shirt's on fire -- now it's out!
3.  Pull my finger!

Now hit 'U'.

----
mark
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (The Crow of Desperation)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: It all evens out
Date: 16 Dec 1992 04:37:00 GMT
Organization: The Church of Pat
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4


Last week, my boss went on a cruise, where she saw Cathie Lee Gifford and
Cody.

This makes up for the fact that she didn't get me the picture of the ship's
bartender standing behind the bar, pointing both fingers at the camera.


Mark "I know someone who sat next to Charo in church" Lippert 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: alt.good.news (Short Shameful Conception)
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 04:38:53 GMT

In <1992Dec14.170124.5413@spider.co.uk> andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon) writes:
>Its my duty as a complete and utter bastard.

It has been brought to my attention that the good people of England
have seen one more season of this fine series than I have.

And that, you see, is why I had to kill them all.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ilana@kiowa.scd.ucar.edu (Ilana)
Subject: Tanka
Organization: NCAR/UCAR
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 18:34:39 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.164522.10011@netcom.com>, cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton) writes:
> 
> For those of you who are getting sick of haiku, or just want a product with
> a little more room, try your hand at tanka.
> 
> A tanka follows the syllabic pattern 5-7-5-7-7.  That is, it's like a
> haiku with two more seven syllable lines stuck on the end.  

Soldier without gun
Not even a bayonet
Reaches out his arms
Alas, his sad stabs and bangs
Flattened by tanka tanka.

Ilana
cherry blossoms fall

-- 
/\    "I'm only a human girl person.  I ain't always perfect."--Rambling Rose
  \_][ <--NCAR Ilana Stern dod#009 r.b. cliff swallow ilana@ncar.ucar.edu    
      \______________________________________________________________________
From: echeverr@scf.usc.edu (5150)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Bad News
Date: 16 Dec 1992 19:46:30 -0800
Organization: The T.B Pantheon
NNTP-Posting-Host: girtab.usc.edu
Keywords: godh00d

In article <1992Dec16.080743.1866@wetware.com> mlegare@wetware.com (Dr. Robert (BoB) Tech) writes:
>If you're reading this right now, you're a God.  
>Right Now.  Officially. 

Shit.

Y'know, if i'd been notified, i would've asked to be a Demon.

Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.

>I suppose most of you are going to laugh this off,
>but I really would recommend nailing down Your 
>Place In The Pantheon soon.  I suggest you pick one
>specific thing and stick with it, instead of trying
>to be Everything To Everyone, like those Greek Gods.

Every Yuppie out there must be ecstatic over having Specialist Gods.


5150
god of perfect sanity, morality, and utter predictability
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: You guys let me down
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 01:44:44 GMT

In <BzGMvu.401@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> ata@sage.cc.purdue.edu (ata boy) writes:
>Over the summer I talked with a guy who tried to convince me that political
>correctness was a plot to silence those who disagree with the democrat's
>party line. By ostracizing those whose opinions differ on issues like
>abortion, feminism, homosexaul rights, etc most people would be convinced not
>to take a stand on these issues. I disagreed with him.  I told him that
>political correctness was about tolerance, and those who practice it would
>allow someone to differ, even if they personally thought the opinions expressed
>were way off base.
>I made a bet with this guy that if I were to post a number of "politically
>incorrect" articles on the network that there would not be a major effort
>from the political correctness crowd to silence me.
>Today I had to concede defeat and pay the guy $100.

Boy, the excuses some people will come up with to cover having been seen
paying for a blowjob.
From: ranjit@unagi.cis.upenn.edu (Ranjit Bhatnagar)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Holy Guacamole I'm Engaged
Date: 19 Dec 92 05:59:08 GMT
Organization: Ng!
In-reply-to: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu's message of 17 Dec 92 19:06:38 GMT

mjd:
>annie:
>>engaged
>why?

Orbital mind control lasers?

	-r.
	 (it was JUST a sugGEStion...)

--
"Trespassers w"   ranjit@grad1.cis.upenn.edu	mailrus!eecae!netnews!grad1!...
	The surface of the water where they move swiftly about in curves.
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: so far
Date: 16 Dec 1992 18:39:21 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <1992Dec16.075341.1686@wetware.com> mlegare@wetware.com (Dr. Robert (BoB) Tech) writes:
>
>the door is made of a dark wood.  looks older than me.

heh.  heh heh.

you goin' be seein that door in yo _dreams_, boah.

don't ask.

c
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Subject: Re: fun military secrets
Keywords: the big *KA-BOOM*
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 16:15:00 GMT

In article <1gsnblINNjh9@master.cs.rose-hulman.edu> jdavidso@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu writes:
>After all, no one ever said nuclear war was civilized.

Nuclear war is civilized.

There, I've said it.

Mark., gosh!
gooley@netcom.com
From: jvogel@math.rutgers.edu (jeff vogel)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: If you can't get a mouthful of clitoris...
Date: 15 Dec 92 20:54:47 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

Try one of those tiny bay scallops. Bout' the right size, and with some 
imagination, you can have yourself a good old time.

					- Jeff Vogel
					Rutgers math
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rejuvinate your youth. 
From: mike@elec.canterbury.ac.nz (Cosmik Debris)
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 01:36:46 GMT
Organization: Electrical Engineering, University of Canterbury, New Zealand

These are the ingredients of these chinese pills my oriental doctor gave me:

  Radix Ginseng
  Cornu Vervi parvum
  Testis et Penis Equus asinus chinensis
  Testes et Penis Canitis
  Hippocampus
  Gelatina Nigra
  Radix Angelicae Sinensis
  Poria
  Herba Epimedii
  Cortex Ciniamomi

I am seriously worried about some of these.
They don't seem to have much effect but I kicked the shit out of the bathroom
door this morning!

-- 
Cosmik Debris -- "You are what you eat"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cpl1@kimbark.uchicago.edu (M. d'Nereverri)
Subject: Re: March of the Newbies
Summary: periodicity == 4.5 yrs
Reply-To: cpl1@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: The Lunatic Fringe
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 21:22:54 GMT


re this entire thing with this samarasinghe person:

is anyone else suddenly strongly reminded of the Cindy [tm] Wars?


M.
"the only REAL Cindy[tm]"
From: ranjit@unagi.cis.upenn.edu (Ranjit Bhatnagar)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Top Ten Rejected Pictionary Questions
Date: 19 Dec 92 05:15:46 GMT
Organization: Ng!
In-reply-to: jvogel@math.rutgers.edu's message of 18 Dec 92 19:22:47 GMT

11. Grappling with chickens.


--
"Trespassers w"   ranjit@grad1.cis.upenn.edu	mailrus!eecae!netnews!grad1!...
	The surface of the water where they move swiftly about in curves.
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: syrupy holiday movies (was: this may be angst, I think)
Date: 15 Dec 92 20:08:42 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

DominusL
|    Over on 22nd and Walnut is a snooty oriental rug store, Davis &
|Nahikian.  There is a narrow parking lot next to it, and there used to
|be a particularly onerous sign in the lot that said

|		K E E P   O U T
|		    unless
|	     you have business with
|		DAVIS & NAHIKIAN

|    It was with even greater relish that we learned that Davis and
|Nahikian was going out of business because Old Mister Nahikian had
|DROPPED DEAD.

It is a MORAL IMPERATIVE that you steal the sign. You MUST.
If nothing else, I will buy it from you.

mr HEINOUS
but remember, if any of the IMF team is caught or killed, the
From: hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: uwec power loss
Date: 20 Dec 92 19:43:52 GMT
Organization: University of Wisconsin Eau Claire

In article <1992Dec19.213322.13672@asuvax.eas.asu.edu>, ra@asuvax.eas.asu.edu (Starcap'n Ra) writes:
> hirschgm@cnsvax.uwec.edu (that Joachim thing) writes:
>> Our sysad has placed the following announcement in everyone's login:
> 
>      Fuck off, geek.
> 
> --Starcap'n Ra       {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
>                         {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
>                                           ^---------------The Wrong Choice
>                              internet: kennedy@asuvax.asu.edu

Just stop reading 'em, fuckup.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: zgilbert@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Zvi Gilbert)
Subject: Dyslexia
Organization: crystallized time
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 06:39:06 GMT


     "I have reverse dyslexia," she said.
     We were talking and holding hands in the front seat of her parked car.
I brushed aside her hair. "What the heck is that," I asked.
     Her eyes opened wide, intent.  "You know how some people have trouble
distinguishing letters from other letters, and it gets all jumbled, you know,
regular dyslexia?"
     "Yeah yeah," I said, "One of my exes was."
     She tilted her head towards me.  "Well, for me it's really easy to see
words, everywhere, even where there aren't any."
     "Where there aren't any," I repeated.
     "Yeah."  She turned away from me.  "Look at the dashboard."
     It was an old car, and the dashboard was brown cracked plastic.  She
pointed: "Look there at the edge, near the glove compartment?  That says," she
squinted, "C-I-R-C... um 'CIRC' L-E and then oh! 'DRAGON L.'"
     "What?  Where,"  I asked, looking where she pointed.
     "Or maybe 'CIRCLE DRAGON L.'  Hmm.  And underneath, upside down is
written T-Q-A-S-T... oh, I get it!  'TOAST.'"
     I looked at her.  "'Toast'?"
     "Yeah."  She glanced at me sideways.  "You don't think I'm weird, do
you?"
     I grinned at her.  "So cracks and wrinkles become letters for you?"
     "Mmm."
     "Can you read hands?"
     "Hands?"
     "Yeah, you know, our palms are all full of..."
     "SHIT!" she said, "I never tried that!"  She grabbed my hand, and stared
closely at the palm, touching it lightly with one finger.
     "Oh... wow... O- um 'ORANGE' here, and there T-H- 'THE PIN'... hee hee... 
and Z-A-L-L..."
     "'Orange,'" I whispered. "I wish I could see like you do."
     She licked my palm, gently. "'s okay.  I like reading your hands."


--Zvi
zgilbert@titan.ucc.umass.edu
"There is no need to stop with one cat or two or three, etc."
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C.J. Silverio)
Subject: Re: 6 hours later, off th fuckin wagon
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com
Organization: SGI Late Night Binge Whingers
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 06:38:54 GMT


In article <BzC44F.2I8@cantua.canterbury.ac.nz>, mike@elec.canterbury.ac.nz writes:
|This is not bizarre nor in the least bit interesting. Leave now!

*plonk*
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Hmmm....
Date: 17 Dec 1992 14:07:31 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <71867@cup.portal.com> lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:
>: Hmmm, my ENGLISH-GERMAN, GERMAN-ENGLISH dictionary has no translation
>: for gullible.
>
>And, _Nota Bene_, that Zulu possesses no word for MOSFET.

No, there is one, and it translates as triode-with-very-low-B+.
--scott
   (or is that JFET?)
From: larryh@cabezon.uucp (Larry Huntley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: I would like to formally euologize
Date: 11 Dec 92 17:00:33 GMT
Organization: Logic Modeling Inc of Beaverton Oregon

In article <1g5a0fINNmcj@rave.larc.nasa.gov> kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey) writes:
>In article <1g3op9INNcd2@uwm.edu> terri@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (St Theresa of the Net) writes:
>>In article <1992Dec9.023840.21080@scott.skidmore.edu> ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe) writes:
>>
>>>will not be gone so easily. i think this newsgroup could use a woman's
>>>touch. so could all of your pathetic cocks.
>>
>>>					sioux
>>
>><snort.>
>
>Was that penis envy?

    Difficult to say, really.  It might have been an offer for a free
    touch to all the no-life computer jockeys, but then what of us who
    have lives and may not be jockeys?  I get the feeling that I would
    prefer the touch of CJ or St. Terri or any of the other t.b women
    over that of sioux.
   
    I guess all will be revealed when we see the next of her.

    - Larry "Hold it right there.  Now hold it right over here." Huntley

    (attrib: Firesign Theatre)

-- 
         (larryh@lmc.com)         | I'm going to the love-in to sit
     Logic Modeling Corporation   |    and play my bongos in the dirt.
          Beaverton,  OR          |        - "Flower Punk", Frank Zappa
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: latarra@camelot.bradley.edu (Lisa Ehren)
Subject: Re: quotation looking for a context
Organization: Bradley University
Date: 12 Dec 92 02:29:40 GMT

In <Bz4H1H.Jtr@news.udel.edu> hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams) writes:

When I found my father with gaping slash marks, dead, in the middle of
blood-matted tiger-fur, 
>my first thought was the cat.
--
He got up from the couch and stared out the window at a far-off place
inside himself that she couldn't see.

Fuzzies for anyone who wants them - New shipments every Thursday.
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: guns
Date: 11 Dec 92 23:36:19 GMT
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

Thomas Burkholder (burkhold@next.com) wrote:
: Guns?  Guns don't kill people- it's those damn bullets!
: 
: -can't take credit; Lorie is more bizarre than I.

  More bizarre than you?
  Oh, imagine our relief.  
  Try very hard, now.  

  -- Clifton
--
cliftonr@netcom.com     Home: +1 808 521 9073  Work: +1 808 625 3234
Clifton Royston, Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Have a revelation, the first one's free/Soon to be addicted to eternity" - HMR
From: andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: March of the Newbies
Date: 15 Dec 92 11:50:10 GMT
Organization: Spider Systems Limited, Edinburgh, UK.

In article <1992Dec13.221224.25125@scott.skidmore.edu> ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe) writes:
>
>			is a horse considered livestock?
>
>						sioux

Not if it's dead.

-- 
    |      Andy  Cannon      | From a Vision of Reality,        |
    | Misplaced Yorkshireman | Comes my Nemesis of Faith.       |
    |   Spider Systems Ltd   | But is Everything so Different ? |
    |  andrewc@spider.co.uk  | And Still the Moon......         |
From: andrewc@spider.co.uk (Andrew Cannon)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Sara Toga #2
Date: 14 Dec 92 13:08:52 GMT
Organization: Spider Systems Limited, Edinburgh, UK.

In article <1992Dec11.183246.6664@scott.skidmore.edu> ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe) writes:
>
>    i want to slowly take off your clothes, and lick you, slowly,
>carefully, teasingly, from your toes, up your legs, your chest, your
>ears, until you are writhing in unbearable passion. like a good dog
>should. 
>

Damn, where did I put that shaggy dog outfit....

Has anyone else ever had the urge to dress up as a large dog and bite the
postman ?
-- 
    |      Andy  Cannon      | From a Vision of Reality,        |
    | Misplaced Yorkshireman | Comes my Nemesis of Faith.       |
    |   Spider Systems Ltd   | But is Everything so Different ? |
    |  andrewc@spider.co.uk  | And Still the Moon......         |
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jcarroll@ferris.cray.com (Jeff Carroll)
Subject: shopping
Originator: jcarroll@ferris
Keywords: kill file 
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 16 Dec 92 01:45:36 CST


Tonight at the mall I was caught in an evolving door.
From: cap@mb5000.anes.upmc.edu (chris pilewski)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Needed: Tacky X-mas gift ideas for my Boss
Date: 14 Dec 92 21:43:55 GMT
Organization: UPMC

Hi,

It's December 14th; an d I'm fresh-out of ideas!  That's why I need some tacky Christmas gift suggestions from "talk.bizarre."  The way I see it, if your reading this group, you've got the ideas I need.  (Nothing personal.)

I have already thought of "Mr. Microphone," (too common), An Ant farm (Mrs. Boss would *love* that one), and "X Set to Music" (delivery impossible before X-mas). Please Post your suggestions!
From: jws5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JUSTIN WINSLOW SOLONYNKA)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: A Christmas Song / SATAN
Date: 16 Dec 92 03:06:22 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <1gle89INNmsa@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Rich
ard White) writes:
>
>>JUSTIN WINSLOW SOLONYNKA says:
>>This is perhaps due to the fact that the computing center
>>insists on putting our realnames in capitals JUST TO ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF
>>ANY OF US THAT HAVE THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF CREATIVITY!
>
>Send me $20 and I'll tell you how to fix that.

Mr. White - How about this:  You just tell me how to fix that damned capital
letters thing, and I'll start posting things more interesting than, say, oh, I
don't know, Sioux.

sol  |  Jesus was a plumber
-- 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: mrx@sgi.com (cloaking the constant k)
Subject: Re: I am like mister x in that...
Organization: the theory that jack built
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 21:36:27 GMT

cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton) writes:

>>  For several months, I have been trying to talk myself into
>>getting an ear pierced, possibly multiply...

hmm.

since this the title of this thread
may have caused some confusion, i'd
like to clarify my own situation.

yes, i wear an ear adornment.

no, my ear is not pierced.

the steel of the device interpenetrates
my flesh on a molecular level.


		mister x

		hope that sets the record straight
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: YOU POISONOUS LITTLE ICE DWARFS, YOU!
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 08:05:30 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

An enraged Swiss lurker in sci.cryonics writes:

: OK, all of you want me to die.
: You even doubt my intelligence.
: I have to doubt yours.
: 
: But why are you so angry?
: Did I insult your irrational belief system between pseudoscience and
: pseudoreligion?
: I hope I won't have to meet you in hell.
: Will you melt in the purgatory, you funny frozen meat?
: 
: Farewell and: don't freeze to fast!

					--@lS: Purveyor Of Fine Meats
From: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: fun military secrets
Date: 20 Dec 1992 05:11:36 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: al037@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Dave Polewka)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc10.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) says:

>Nuclear war is civilized.
>There, I've said it.

It's legal, too.  Gee.


-- 
=======================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=======================
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cliftonr@netcom.com (Pope Clifton)
Subject: Re: Bad News
Organization: t.b, t.p.d, & a.d
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 23:12:56 GMT

I was really thinking about putting in for God of Procrastination,
but I didn't want to rush into it, and while I was waiting someone
else jumped in there.  Maybe they can be the God of Mild Procrastination.
Besides, I am sure there is some other net.god or net.goddess out 
there who is _still_ agonizing over it and therefore deserves the
job much more than I.

So, I will be God of Minor Epiphanies and Partial Satoris, also
worshipped as the Patron of Transcendently Bad Poetry.

That ought to keep me more than busy enough.
  -- Clifton

--
cliftonr@netcom.com     Home: +1 808 521 9073  Work: +1 808 625 3234
Clifton Royston, Pope of the Church of the Subgenius in Paradise
"Have a revelation, the first one's free/Soon to be addicted to eternity" - HMR
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: SWANSONG.....
Date: 14 Dec 1992 05:31:19 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
NNTP-Posting-Host: alfalfa.intel.com

In article <1992Dec14.012413.3377@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy) writes:
>please flame the shit out of me for this. since when do i have a right to
>spout such drivel? huh? 
>			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
>			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1

#1e+36, perhaps...

PJ Finerty, the only person I know of ever to be so
socially inept as to get in actual trouble over something
he posted to the net...

Not even Carasso...

				--Blair
				  "Carasso, Carasso everywhere;
				   Nor any spuds to peel..."
				   -What can happen when you mistake the word
				    "crystal" for "albatross" in your "Shirley
				    McLain's Guide to New-Age Spirituality
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: john@storm.ofps.ucar.edu (John J. Allison)
Subject: overhead conversation snippet
Organization: UCAR Office of Field Project Support, Boulder CO
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 20:06:59 GMT

on a CU-Boulder sidewalk:

Business major pretending to be in Computer Science:
(I could tell by his imitation Fortune 500 outfit)
 "I'm going to run two businesses---my computer
  business and a fishing business!"

Friend: "Yeah, then you can have your PowerBook and your powerboat!"

Me: plonk

not really bizarre, but PowerBook is a trademark of Apple Computer, Inc.
-- 
, jja
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre