From: cloyce@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Lemon Merchant)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime
Subject: Re: Ranma 1/2 movie script (Loooong)
Summary: Here it is!  Anybody care?
Keywords: Ranma girl boy funny ha ha ha
Date: 9 Nov 92 20:16:46 GMT
Followup-To: rec.arts.anime
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin TX

In article <1992Nov7.150516.22533@bilver.uucp> alex@bilver.uucp (Alex Matulich) writes:
>
>In previous articles, a bunch of people write:
>
>>>>Please send me a copy of the Ranma 1/2 movie scripts for the First movie and
>>>
>>>Send them to me, too, please!
>>
>>If you're sending out copies please include me.
>
>Enough of this!  Somebody just POST the thing!!  Please?
>(spiffy .sig deleted)

Well, you asked for it, and here it is!  I didn't do it (I haven't even had
time to read it), so I won't take any credit/blame/flames.  So, please!  
No more "Me, too" articles.  If you know of anyone who misses this,
can't/won't FTP, and still wants one, I will mail them.

Enjoy!  The script begins here:
-----------------------------------------------------------

                           RANMA MOVIE
                TRANSLATED BY KENSKAA L. TAKAZAKI
Happozai: A BIG CATCH!  A BIG CATCH! HA HA HA HA!!
Happozai: There you are!
Happozai: A Bra, a Bra!!
Screams: A pervert! KIYAAAAA!!
Happozai:  Who's there?!
Happozai: Ha I've found you!

                             (song)

SOH UNabiki:  Bingo!
Happozai:  Hmm, where did she go?
H.  Something fishy here...  SWEET!!
Happozai:  How uncareful.  I must take these to a safer place!
Ranma:  What are you doing?
Happozai:  Er.. picking up something I dropped.
Ranma:  Something you dropped eh?
Happozai:  Hey Ranma, long time no see.  If you want some, I'll split my share!
Ranma: No thanks!
Happozai:  How about Akane's?  Can't resist that offer, can you?
Ranma:  Who would want that ugly girl's underwear?
Akane:  Who's ugly?!
Akane:  I can imaging Happozai stealing underwear, but you?  How dare you!
R+Happozai:  WAAAAAA
Ranma:  What were you listening to?  I was only trying to protect your under..eh?
Akane:  So you've finally shown your true identity.  No Excuses!!
Ranma:  WAAAAA
Ranma:  GiGi, come back here!
Akane: Ranma!
Nabiki: Don't those guys ever grow up?
Ryoga:  Where am I?
Happozai: Being chased by two lovely girls!  I must be famous!
Ranma: Stop squirming around and give yourself up!
Akane:  You give yourself up!
Ryoga:  I'm beginning to hear Akane's voice in my head...
Ryoga:  Wait a sec?
BANG
Ryoga:  That was unmistakably, Ranam and Happozai!
        How dare they treat me like this!
Akane: Come back here!
Akane: Ryogakun, I'm sorry!
Ryoga:  By the looks of this, something must have befallen her.
        I must protect her from those idiots!
SPLASH
Happozai: HA HA 
Ranma: You come back here!
Ranma:  Alright, take this!
Happozai:  A free ride!
Ranma: That monster jiji!
CRASH
S:  Ni hau, Ranma! Today nice day.  We go on date!
Ranma: Ride on the sidewalk, Shampoo!
S:  No worry little thing!
SPLASH
Ranma:  YEOWWWWW
Ranma: I'm not an instant noodle!
Akane: What are you guuys doing?
SPLASH
Ranma:  WHY MEEE?
Kuno: Pony tail girl, come into my arms!
Ranma: Yeah, right!
BANG
Kuno:  A touching love sign.. I approve!
Kuno: I'll follow you to Hell!
Moose: That was Ranma!
Baba: Yes with Shampoo!  What's all the racket?
Moose: ??
BANG
Moose:  Ranma, how dare you mess with my Shampoo!
Baba: I don't know, but this will be fun!
Ukiyo: Wh-What's going on?
Tsubasa:  Ukyo, long time no see!
Ukiyo: Who called you!
BANG
Ukiyo: Shoot, that was my sign!  Wait!
?: Pony-tail girl.  She brings back memories.
Azusa:  Charlotte, Charlotte!  Come!
? :  Wait!  Stop!
Azusa:  Charlotte!
Y:  Ho Ho Ho !
CRASH!
Store clerk:  Robber!
Happozai: If you want revenge, my name is Saotome Ranma!
Happozai: Now that I'm done with snack, back for lunch!
Happozai:  Ranma, long time no see!
Happozai:  What's this, a marthon event?!
Ranma: Who d'ya think caused this?  IDIOT!!
BANG
Laichi: I've finally found you,  Happozai!
Ranma: Jiji, do something about this!
Happozai:  Idiot, it ain't that easy!
Akana:  It's all your fault, Ranma!
Ranma:  Well you don't listen till the end!
Akane: You even hugged Shampoo!
Ranma: Can't you act a little cuter than that?
Akane: Saying that won't please any girl!
Ranma: An ugly girl like you?
Akane:  Say that again?
Ranma:  With pleaure!  Ugly, ugly,  AAAAHHH?!
Genma:  Kasumi's cuisine is always delicious!
KAkane:  Oh, please!
SOH UNabiki:  Saying that won't improve things.  
KAkane:  When are those guys coming home?
Genma:  Oh, they'll smell the food and come back!
BANG
SOH UNabiki:  Ranma, Akane, I demand an explanation!!
Nabiki:  You don't need one..
SOH UNabiki:  What in the 
Ranma: Wh- what the
SOH UNabiki: An elephant?
KAkane:  How cute!
Baba: I sense a great power in this elephant observing that it was that huge figure!
Akane:  Get off!
Ryoga:  Akanesan, are you OK?
Akane: A circus girl?
Laichi: That a boy, Jasmin!
Laichi: I've finally found you!  Take responsibility!!
Akane:  A scroll?
Laichi:  It has been a family treasure!  Happozai, give me back my happiness!
Laichi:  Listen to my--Ah!?

                         (ship appears)

Ranma: Who are you?
Kirin: I'm the head of the Seven Gods, Kirin!
Laichi: Prince!
Akane: Huh?
Kirin: The time has come for me to finally claim my bride!
Laichi: Prince!
Laichi: Prince!
Kirin: Who are you?
Laichi: Huh?
KI: I have no need of you.  You don't have the scroll.
Nabiki: Hey, Akane!  Ain't that the scroll
Akane: Huh?
Kirin: Ebiten!! (name of one of the gods)
Ebiten: ??
RY+Ranma:  Akane!  Akanesan!!
Ryoga: Akanesan!
Ranma: You! Let her go!
Kirin: How dare you come aboard without an invitation!
       Take the wrath of the Seven Gods!!
BANG
everyone: Ranma!!
Kirin:  Once the scrolls become one, this lady shall become my wife!
Akane: Excuse me!
Ranma: Wait!  It ain't over yet!
Ryoga: How dare you treat me like this!
SOH UNabiki: Akane
Ryoga: Akanesan!
Akane: Ranma!
Laichi: Prince!  Prince!
Shampoo: Ranma, you okay now?  Ranma?
Ryoga: Who the Hell were those guys?
Moose: He mentioned something about the Seven Gods?
Ryoga: Ji-san, you must know somthing about this, eh?
Happozai: What are you talking about?
Ryoga: Shut up!  It's written all over your face!
Baba: The Seven Gods are said to dwell up in the Chinese mountains at Nekokonron!  
But why have they suddenly come down?
Happozai: I guess I must confess.
Happozai: It was when I was 18 and training hard.
Happozai: I was heading into a dilema.
Villagers:Poor girl, she's to be sacraficed.
The Seven Gods are ruthless.
They want to unite to conquer the world!
Happozai: How dare they kill for greed! Unforgivable!
Genma: My Gosh!
SOH UNabiki: So the Seven Gods are out to conquer the world!
Happozai:  Therefore, I set out to steal the scroll.
Happozai:  Because I goofed,  I got injured and couldn't move.
Happozai:  It was then when I first saw her.  She was nice and modest.
Happozai: ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING?!!
Nabiki: I was listening!
Happozai: Good for you, Nabiki!
Nabiki: So Akane was kidnapped because you stole the scroll!
Ranma: So Akane is to be sacraficed?
Ryoga: I'm going to rescue her!
Ranma: Idiot, it will take you forever to get there.  I'll go with you!
Shampoo: Ranma go, I go!
Baba: Yes, it'll be a nice oprtunity for you revisit the home country.
Moose: If Shampoo goes, I'm going!
SOH UNabiki: Thank you Ranma and everybody.  This is the strength of friendship!
SOH UNabiki: What about you guys!!
Happozai: OK, OK, We'll go!
Ranma: OK guys, let's go!!
KAzusa: Yes, but how?
Ranma: Uhh, ...dunno!
Kuno: Leave it all to me!
Nabiki: Hey watch it!
Kuno: You shut up!
Kuno: Taking you to China is no problem!
Ranma: Kuno!
Ryoga: Hey you're nice guy after all!
Kuno: No problem!  OK, let's go!
Kuno: Straight Ahead!
Ranma: I knew this was coming!
Happozai: I wonder about Akane.  I miss her so much!
Ryoga: Hey, Jiji!  Whats that you've got?
Happozai: Her bra!
Ryoga: You scum!  I'll kill you!
Ranma: Hey stop it! We'll sink!
Ranma: I knew this was coming!
Happozai: A free ride, a free ride!
Ranma: We're saved!  Help Us!!
Ebiten: As a humble servant, I have brought you the princess!
Kirin: Well done!
Akane: What's the deal here kidnapping me.  I demand an explaniation!
Ebiten: Watch your mouth!
Kirin: Never mind!  She's to be my bride anyway.
Akane:  BRIDE?!!
Ebiten: Yes.  It is a tradition that the bearer of the
        scroll must become the bride of the prince.
Kirin: Come, let us create a sweet home and live happily.. right, Ebiten?
Ebiten: Right!
Akane: What are you guys saying?
BANG!!
Bishyamon: Kirin!
Ebiten: Hoow dare you?
Akane: Whoops,  I must have overdone it!
Bishyamon: How dare you, little girl!
Akane: Hey, wait!
Akane: Hey wait!
Akane: Where am I?  Looks like a storage room.
Akane: Rice and pickled vegetables?
Akane: Is this how you treat a bride?!
Genma: sign (This is Animal Week)
Ranma: Damn it!
Kuno: Pony tail girl!
Ranma: KIYAAA!  A CAT!!
Laichi: Kiyaaaa!
Ranma: C'mon!  Let us on!
SOH UNabiki: ??
Genma: Yeah, yeah!
Laichi: SHUDDUP!!
Laichi: Your'e in no position to argue when you've stole my prince!
Happozai: I agree!  Let's forget them and get married!
Laichi:  It's all your fault!
Laichi: Oh!  Just when I thought things were on the role, I get turned down!  I'm so 
unfortnate!
Laichi:  Are you guys listening?!!
Laichi:  Why me?
Happozai:  Let's have fun!
WHAM!!
Everyone:  Yeah!  Do it!  Kill it!
Happozai:  How dare you treat me like this!
Laichi:  KIYAAA
Happozai:  Oh no, the boat will sink!
Ranma:  It's your fault!
Laichi:  Take responsibility!
Kuno:  Why me?
Laichi:  Because I rescued you from drowning!
Laichi:  All calm?
Ranma: Yup!
Laichi:  No more water leaking!
Ranma:  Why did you come to Tendo Dojo in the first place?
GRAB
Ranma: Wh-what?
Laichi:  Will you listen to sad story?
Ranma:  G-go ahead!
Laichi:  It's been six years since then...
Kirin:  Well have you made up your mind?
NAkane:  What's this?
Kirin:  Breakfast, ofcourse!
Kirin:  Not eating?
Akane: Not hungry!
Kirin:  That's not good.  Someone, bring the medicine!
Akane:  Not that!  How in the world can you guys
        mange eating the same stuff each day!
Kirin:  Yesterday was cabbage pickled vegetables right?
Akane:  I'm saying don't you eat something different?
Kirin:  What other pickled vegetables do you want?
Akane: No!  I mean like hamberger or fried eggs..
Kirin:  Fried Eggs?!!
       (in japanese fried eggs is literally 'fried eyeballs'  it's a pun)
Ebiten:  There is nothing but rice and pickled vegetables abord this ship!
         So you better get used to it!
Akane:  Hmphh!
Ebiten:  What's that atitiude!
Kirin:  What a spoiled girl!
Akane:  I can't stand it any more!  Same stuff over and over again!
Ranma:  So marriage is guaranteed if you find the scroll?
Laichi:  But bad things kept on happening to me.  Fire, attacked by pirates...
Ranma:  So how did you get the scroll?
Laichi:  My grandmother told me that Happozai gave it to her.
Ranma:  You came all the way for that?
Laichi: Yes!
KIDS:  Look, a show!
SOH UNabiki:  But how did the scroll become a symbol for happiness then?
Ranma:  How should I know?
Ryoga: In order to get rid of it,
       Happozai mst have told a lie saying it was a symbol for happiness.
Shampoo: ???
Happozai:  Well at least I'm forgivin.
Laichi:  Who said I forgave you?!
Akane:  I'm scared.
Akane:  So here it is!
Akane:  Ughh!
Ranma:  Hey, chill down!
Laichi:  Jasmin, what's wrong?
Laichi:  Oh my!
Kirin:  What's the noise?
Kirin:  Hey, those pots!
Akane:  Stay back!  Or I'll pull this lever!
T1+T2:  No, don't!
Ebiten:  If you do, all the pickled vegetables will fall from the hatch below!
FKirin:  Do you hate me that much?
Akane:  Not you, but the diet you guys eat!
Kirin:  Hands off!
Kirin:  Stop this nonesense!  Are you telling us to eat just plain rice?
Akane:  Idiots, I'm saying there's other stuff you can eat!
Akane:  Go ahead, try!
Kirin:  What's this?
Akane:  My specialty...
Akane: Are ya gonna eat it or not!
Kirin:  OK!
Ebiten:  Prince!
Kirin:  Don't move!
Kirin:  Incredible!  So this is other food than pickled vegetables!
Akane:  You get my point?  There's other stuff that's delicious!
Akane:  What's wrong?
everybody:  Prince!
Kirin:  pickled vegetables!
Akane:  pickled vegetables?
Ebiten:  How dare you poison him with that stuff!
Akane:  That was my specialty!
Ebiten:  Throughout the centuries,that's all we're able to eat!
Akane:  What?!
Kirin:  pickled vegetables!
Akane:  Wait a sec!
Kirin:  pickled vegetables!  Quick!
Ebiten:  Prince!
Akane:  Will this do?
Kirin:  Akane!
Kirin: Put back the lever!
Ebiten:  Y-yes!
Laichi: Quick before we lose sight of them!
Ranma: JIJI, Help us!
Happozai:  Look!
WAAAAAA!!
Everyone:  Akane!
Laichi:  Prince!
Laichi:  Prince, are you ok?
everyone:  Akane!
Ebiten:  Prince!
Ryoga:  Akane-san!
Kuno:  Two beautiful women kidnapped at the same time!
Happozai:  Akane, Ranme, Lunch,  take me with you!
G+SOH UNabiki:  You wish is granted!!
everyone: Prince!
Ebiten:  Wait. What's this?
SOH UNabiki:  FIRE!!
Ebiten:  An intruder!  To your stations!
Ranma:  Hey release us before ya go!
Happozai:  How dare you treat me like this!
Happozai: Oh yeah!  Lunch, Akane, Ranma!!
Happozai:  Oh!  Pretty sister!
Shampoo:  Give back Ranma!
Kuno:  And Akane and the pony tail girl!
Ebiten:  Youv'e gotta kill us to get them!
Everyone:  Let's go!
Ranma:  Akane, you ok?
Akane: Ranma! Huh?
L :  Prince...
Moose: No way!
Laichi:Prince!
Ranma:  Hey!
Akane:  Hmm, I see!  So that's it!
Ranma: Oh, yeah, speak for yourself!
Akane:  Huh?
Ranma:  Your taste for guys has grown pretty bad.
2Akane:  Well at least he ate my specialty!
Ranma:  Oh, is that why he looks so ill!
Akane:  What?  Say that again!
Laichi:  Prince!
Laichi: Prince, are you ok?
Ranma:  This so happens to be his bride.
Akane:  What?
Ranma: I guess your fun is all spoiled now. Too bad!
BANG
Ranma:  What the heck?!
Kirin:  Wh-where am I?
Laichi:  Prince!
Kirin:  Who are you?
Laichi:  I'm the real owner of the scroll.  I'm the one you're supposed to marry!
Kirin:  My bride is nobody but her!
Laichi: No!
Ranma:  Hey, what's with this bride buisness?!
Kirin:  It's by tradition that the owners of the scroll
        make a life long commitment to each other.
Ranma:  I didn't mean that!  I won't allow that to happen!
Kirin:  What?!
Akane:  Ranma.
Kirin:  I don't need your permission!
Ranma:  Well she's my fiancee!
Akane:  Ranma!
Kirin:  Fiancee? Don't joke.
Ranma:  I'm not lying!
Kirin:  But you're a girl!
Ranma:  Wha..er..whoops.
Akane:  Idiot!
Ranma:  But still I forbid you to take her!
Ranma:  If you do...
Kirin:  If I do.?
Ranma:  If you do I'll..
Kirin:  If you do you'll..?
Akane:  Ranma!
Ranma: I'LL POISON YOU ALL WITH AKANE'S SPECIALTY!!!!!!
Akane:  RANMA YOU IDIOT!!!!
BANG!
Kirin:  We're off!
Ebiten: Kirin!
Ryoga:  I've got you now!
BANG
$Benten:  Let's put an end to this, shall we? 
BANG
Moose:  Shampoo!  WAHH
BANG
Ranma:  This is terrible!
Kirin:  Ha, what imbeciles!
WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
Kirin:  Come, Akane... AHHH
Akane:  You ok?
Laichi:  Don't let go!
Ranma:  Damn it!
Akane:  I'm sorry for all the trouble.
Kirin:  It's not your fault.  Don't worry.
Akane:  It is my fault!
        I thought it was a lousy diet so I made you try other foods.
Akane:  But that was my opinion.  Besides, my cuisine is awful!
Akane:  I'm really sorry!
Kirin:  That's ok.
Akane:  Eh?
Kirin:  It's useless to think about the past.
        What matters is that you did it for me.
Akane:  Kirin
Kirin:  I'm happy.  Nobody has been ever thoughtful to me.
Kirin:  Please, marry me..
Kirin:  Akane!
Akane:  Sorry but I..
Kirin:  You long for the so called Ranma eh?  HA HA that useless idiot, Ranma?!
Kirin:  I'm the one who's most suitable for you!
Akane:  Ranma will come.. to get you back!
Kirin:  Rather to get you back, no?
Kirin:  But I won't let you go!
Kirin:  If he does, we shall have a duel over you.
Akane:  Ranma will win!
Kirin:  There is no term 'loss' for me.
        When Ranma loses, you promise to come with me!
Akane:  Fine!
Kirin:  As soon as we arrive at Nekokonron, we'll be ready for him.
Ranma:  Ji-san.  Is that Nekokonron
Happozai:  Yes, that rock marks the place!
Ranma:  What's that!?
Happozai:  Hey, stay calm!  WAH!
Kirin:  Come!
Ranma:  Umphh!  What a ride!  Hmm?
Ranma:  A Tower up there?!
Happozai:  That's the main castle where we must head to!
Ranma:  What!?  Then Akane is--WAH!
Ranma:  What's this?
Happozai:  A rock..
Ranma:  I mean this!
Ranma:  What in the...Laichi, read it!
Laichi:  'There will be a wedding with Prince Kirin and Tendo Akane.  All visitors, i
nvited and uninvited,  please go through the gates.'
Ranma:  So this is a challenge to a fight eh?  Fine with me!
Laichi:  Hey wait!
Happozai:  Go Ranma!  This will test your strength and ability.  But you must defeat al
l the gods in order to get through.  Wait.. that means  ....
Happozai:  Benten-chaaaann!
Bishyamon:  Here comes the scumbags!
Bishyamon:  You'll never get past the mighty Bishyamon!
Ranma:  Ugg, looks like a toughy!
Happozai:  Get out of the way!
Bishyamon:  Eh?
Happozai:  Benten is all mine!
BANG
Ranma: Good work, ji-san! We'll go ahead!
Ranma:  What's this?
Ranma:  Does that mean 'come in'?  Fine deal!
Laichi:  Wait!
T1:  Ha!  I have you!
T2:  Hmm, nice move.
Ranma:  You the guards?
T2:  Ah, the guest!
T1:  Yes, the guest!
Ranma:  Hmphh.  Excuse me, but I'm getting through if you don't mind!
T1:  What a noisy fellow. 
T2:  Oh well.. let's play with him.
T1:  Row 14!
Ranma:  A huge 'go' stone?  (a marker for Japanese othello)
T1:  Precisely!  This whole gate is a 'go' board.  Row 13!
T2:  Row 16!
T1:  Row 3!
BANG
Ranma:  Thoses bastards!
T1:  That's right, run while you can!
T2:  And when you run out of space, it's the end of you!
Ranma:  Space?!  That's it!
T2:  Hey, he disappeared.
T1:  Where did he go?
Ranma:  Heh, your tactic has one major weak spot!
        Once a space is occupied, it can't be used.
        Therefore the more you occupy, the more space I get!
T1+T2:  Oh No!  He's right!
Ranma:  I have you now!
CRASH
Ranma:  Ha, now it's broken!
T2:  How dare you!
CRASH
Ranma:  Heh, two down!

                        Laser Disc Side B

Ranma:  Where's the guard?
Ranma:  Oh a free pass!  Ehh...
Ranma:  He's huge!
Laichi:  Bigger than Jasmin!
Laichi:  Jasmin?
Ranma:  What the!
Laichi:  Looks like they've become friends..
Ranma:  Which means we can get through!
Laichi:  Jasmin, keep him company!
Kirin:  So beautiful!
Ranma:   I have need for another guy ahead so let me through!
Benten:  What a child..Your no match for me.
Ranma:  Oh yeah?  Come down here!
Benten:  I'm the guard and you'll never get by me!
Benten:  ??? (a name for her weapon spell)
Benten:  The more you strougle, the tighter they get!
Akane:  ARGGGGHH
Benten: Do you now know my strength?  Go home and I'll spare your life!
Ranma:  No way!
Benten:  !
Ranma:  I'll get through even if it means death!
Benten:  Too bad.. Then DIE!!!
BANG
Ranma:  Wh-at?
Shampoo:  You ok, Ranma?
Ranma:  Shampoo!
Benten:  You idiots!
Shampoo:  You, I kill!
Ranma:  Shampoo!
Shampoo:  Ranma go!  
Ranma:  Thanks!
Benten:  Wait!
Shampoo:  You mine now!
Benten:  So be it!
Ranma:  Shampoo!
Laichi:  Ranma, let's go!
Ebiten:  I commend you for making it up to here.
Ebiten:  But I won't let you through!
Ranma:  I've got no time to waste!  Make way or die!
FIGHT
Laichi:  Ranma!
Ranma:  This is nothing!
Ebiten: Good!  The fun has yet to come!
Ebiten:  You're pathetic!  It's a wonder you made it up to here!
Ebiten:  But now you die!
BANG
Ebiten:  Who dares?
Ryoga:  Ranma, leave Akane up to me!
Ranma:  Ryoga?
Ebiten:  No one get's by WAH?!
Kuno:  YA YA YA YA YA !! Where's Akane?!
Ebiten:  How dare they use me as a door mat!
Happozai:  Akanechan!!
Moose:  Shampoo!  You'll be ok!
Shampoo:  Aiya!  Me here!
G+SOH UNabiki:  Akane, here we come!!
Ranma:  H-how did they get here?
Ebiten:  N-nobody get's past by  ..(clunk)
Kirin: You must rejoin the two halves of the scroll.
Kirin:  It will signify our commitment.
Kirin:  Here!
Kirin:  Now rejoin the two.
Kirin:  Why do you hestitate?
Akane:  Ranma, aren't you going to come?
Ryoga:  Akanesan!
Akane:  Ryoga!
everyone:  Akane!!
Akane:  Everybody!  Ji-san, where's Ranma?
Ryoga:  Give back Akane!
Kirin:  How dare you intrude a holy marriage!
Laichi:  What's that?!
Ranma:  Damn it!
Akane:  Father, oji-san, Ryogakun!
Kirin:  Aren't you glad thatwe've got rid of the pests?
Akane:  Glad that my father and friends got knocked out?!
Ranma:  Wait on sec!
Akane:  Ranma!
Ranma:  So we finally meet!  Finish buisiness, shall we?
Kirin:  You can not defeat me.
Ranma:  Yeah, we'll see!
YAA
Ranma:  My punches aren't goin in!
Kirin:  Your attack is useless!
Akane:  Ranma!
Ranma:  Why aren't my punches hitting him?
        Is there some kind of invisible wall?
        What's all these marks on my hands?
Ranma:  Chopsticks!  So that's what he's using to catch my fists with!
Akane: Stop!  Or else Ranma will-
Ranma:  Shut up!  This no place for a girl!
Akane:  What?!  I'm worrying for you!  You'll get killed!
Kirin:  That's right!  So stay back!
Ranma:  My blows are useless.. which means..
Kirin:  Ranma, let's stop the child play.
Ranma:  Something that he can't grasp with his chopsticks.
Kirin:  With my method, I'll send you to Hell!
Ranma:  But what can't he grasp?  Huh, sweat?  That's it!
Kirin:  Get ready, Ranma!
Ranma:  Get ready yourself!
CRASH
Akane:  Ranma?
Ryoga:  What?!
Kirin:  So you've finally accpeted defeat?
Ranma:  Not really.  On contrary, I now can go past your guards!
Akane:  This is hot water?!
Ryoga:  Idiot!  He used his last bit of strength to make that hole!
Kirin:  Impressive strength.  But I'd like to see you get past my guard.
Ranma: Sure!  Just you wait!
Ranma:  Improvised Attack!!
Kirin:  Hmph!  what improvised atta-
BANG
Kirin:  What?!
Ryoga:  One to the body!
Kirin:  Hmphh that was sheer luck!
BANG
Kirin:  Impossible!  How is he able to!
Ranma:  Surprised?!  Take this!
BANG
Ryoga:  I get it!  Ranma drived the water with his fists like a water pistol!
Moose:  It's like trying to catch noddle soup with chopsticks!
SOH UN:  Good job, Ranma!
Genma:  Ofcourse, he's my son!
Akane: Ranma!
Kirin: I've never met a guy like you.
Kirin:  In this case, I shall fight with all my strength!
Kirin:  ?? (name of weapon)
Ranma:  Dragon Hurricane!!
Kirin:  What?!
BANG
Kirin: I, the prince of the Seveb Gods losing to this scum?!
Ranma:  Yeah!!
Ranma:  What?!  What?!
Laichi: The scroll!!
Ranma: Akane!
Ranma:  Shoot, my body can't move freely!
Ranma: Hey give Akane back!
Kirin: No!  She's tp be my bride!
Kirin:  The Scroll!!
Ranma:  Akane!  Akane!
Ranma: Gasp, that was awful!
Akane: Thanks for coming to rescue me, Ranma!
Ranma:  It's nothing!
Laichi:  Here, the important scroll.
Kirin:  Thanks.
Kirin:  Akane , I've learned a lot from you, thanks!
Akane:  Oh, it's nothing!
Kirin:  Ranma, I've never met a person like you.  It's my total loss.
Ranma:  That means you've given up Akane?
Kirin:  The scroll was more important to me than Akane.
        Therefore, You're the man suitable for her!
Ranma:  Laichi, what are you going to do from now?
Laichi:  I'm going to start all over again.
         Hopefully find a real prince riding on a white horse.
Ranma:  What was in the scroll anyway?
Shampoo:  Let me see..
Shampoo:  The secret of the Seven Gods..
          How to make delicious Seven God Pickled Vegetables?!!
Shampoo:  Once the scrolls are united, this should made as a symbol for bonding.
          First, the groom washes the vegetables.  Then the bride seasons it.
          Then together, they add the soy sauce...
Happozai:  Shampoo, you have such a cute voice.
Ryoga:  Hey, jiji!  What danger to the world?!  What sacrafice?!\
Moose:  The scroll is a mere recepie!
Happozai:  Hey, but it was a great training session, no?
Ranma:  What training session?!!
BANG

                            END SONG

Akane:  A month after, they sent this picture along with the pickled vegetables.
SOH UNabiki:  Bingo!
SOH UNabiki:  But Saotomekun, you should have gone to the Junsenkyo while we were at 
China!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
END!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Ut!" - FC
-- 
Cloyce D. Spradling       | *He's* the Keeper of the Cheese.  I'm just
cloyce@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu | the Lemon Merchant.
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime