From: dvandom@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (David VanDomelen)
Subject: LNH: Electrocutioner's Song Precis
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 03:37:38 GMT

Hit 'n' now if you either don't need to be filled in on the major storyline in 
aclnh, or don't care to be informed.

would ^L if my system accepted it...
















     HALLS JORDAN AND CLICHE DUDE #1  -  PART ONE
     The issue opens with Table scouting through the rubble of Y-Plex Burp's
base.  He finds Plot Error Man, dusts him off, and spirits him away.  Meanwhile
the Z-Team (Mr. Z, TNT (stuff deleted) Tunes, Coach, Mr. World and Trump)
approaches Metropolis.news/Net.ropolis in their pickup.  Meanwhile Halls and
Chiche lose badly at basketball and decide to sneak into LNHQ to get Cliche's
stuff and plant some bugs.  Manga Man follows the pair, reposting back to
Table.  Even more meanwhile, Sig-File Man realizes that Sidekick Man is missing
and assembles a team to find him.  Kinda meanwhile but a little later Sufferyng
isolates the TransMode Virus and prepares to deliver it to Acton Lord (which
one?  We aren't told).
     Above the atmosphere, Mr. Minister creates some overbaked clones of MZL
for his half-baked plan to destroy the LNH and discredit Table.
     Back at the ranch, Table tosses Plot-Error Man into the Auntie_May Chamber
and brings back his dead love, Chair.

     501 BLUES/RATTLER TIDE SPECIAL #1  -  PART TWO
     Rebel Yell awakes with a start, having dreamed the misprinted version of
Halls Jordan/Cliche Dude #?.  After making sure it was only a dream and
checking on where Ultimate Ninja is (he's playing a HoloDecStation program that
seems to be Seize Dangerous...is SD and Imaginary Story? Heh) and finding that 
Sig-File Man took off with a chunk of the team, Reb crawls out from under this 
very messy clause and gets an alert that someone is sneaking into the base.
     FAN.DOM fo the ALT.RA recreates Damn Yankee to destroy Rebel Yell.  Manga 
Man prepares to unleash the Akira Wave on LNHQ but is accosted by PLOT KING 
(perhaps played by CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE) and a really big fight ensues.  Part of 
the Z-Team drives by the battle on the way to City Hall, while Mr. Minister 
unleashes his off-color clones on the city (he shoulda kept them in mylar, eh?)
     Alert of the Z-team and clones (but oddly not of the fight right outside
their base) reaches the LNH.  Rebel Yell and Ultimate Ninja lead two strike
teams to deal with the mess, and in so doing split up the Halls Jordan/Cliche
Dude pairing.

     CRISIS OF INFINITE CLONES #1  -  PART FOUR
     Opening scene, planet H'yyydde'uz (new post-2 1/2 month gap name), we see 
a figure start to emerge from a tube in a ruined fortress.  Then we switch to 
outside the LNHQ, where Manga Man has escaped and lurks in wait for PLOT KING.
While there, he chuckles over how he had fooled the LNH into thinking he was
vulnerable to Robotech videos.  The Plot King sees him (face it, Manga Man is 
not a lurking kinda guy), and a battle ensues, wherein Manga Man pulls out the 
trump card of attacking in Part Four before Part Three is even written.
     Cut back to H'yyydde'uz.  A mysterious figure has emerged, but not 
revealed.  The narrator gives lip service to the MZL and Z-Team plots, then has
an argument with the mysterious figure.
     Cut back to LNHQ.  Sig.Lad gets out of a taxi, fresh from a detour to 
Seize Dangerous.  He is met by Sidewinder (and catches a glimpse of the Manga 
Man battle), then attacked by Sufferyng, who squirts him with TransMode Virus.
     Sig.Lad begins to mutate and Sidewinder attacks Sufferyng but is injured
by the blades on Sufferyng's armor.  RosterwReam sees Sig.Lad and realizes he 
must save him or he'll never get the Roster done.  Sidewinder reappears and 
carries Sig.Lad to the medlab, but accidentally sticks him in Doc Stomper's 
Experimental Gene Scrambler and Random Teleporter.
     Back at H'yyydde'uz, the mysterious figure finally reveals himself and his
teammates...the X-Over Men!

ULTIMATE NINJA #1  -  PART THREE

     Ultimate Ninja has a nightmare about being corrupted by Acton Lord while 
napping in the back of the van on the way to City Hall.  On arrival, he, Typo 
Lad, Halls Jordan, Cheesecake-Eater Lad, Cannon Fodder and Parking Karma Lad 
fan out and look for trouble.
     Meanwhile, Table reveals his insidious merchandizing scheme, action
figures of both heroes and villains, as well as other stuff.  Chair does Jim 
Lee poses.
     Rebel Yell's group encounter the MZL clones who immediately stop rampaging
and want to be taken home, or at least go beat up Table, who they say is behind
all this.
     Searching for SideKick Man, Sig.File Man's group wanders into the 
Big.City Mall.  As they do, Table and Chair sneak out, having delivered the 
merchandizing.  Table and Chair proceed to make most readers gag by using 
cutesy nicknames for each other.
     UN et al find trouble in the form of Coach, the cat from the Z-team.
Coach kills Cannon Fodder, then is punted by UN.  Then the Z-team show up in
new costumes and attack!

HALLS JORDAN/CLICHE DUDE #2  -  PART FIVE

     The Z-team is momentarily confused by their new costumes, but recover and 
prove to UN that all the martial arts in the world are no defense against tasty
semi-automatic death.
     Mr. Minister is revealed to have SideKick Man, and has brainwashed him to 
think he's been brainwashed by Table.  He sends SKM to install a certain 
computer chip in the LNH computer.
     Sig.File Man's group wastes more time at the mall.
     Reb's group fails to find Table's address in the phone book.  Occultism
Kid reveals how he tried to be in both major scenes at once in Part Three, and 
explains the MZL clones as being possibly the result of Mighty Magic (tm).  
Then the MZL clones reveal the address of Table's safehouse.  They attack and 
Table (correctly) suspects that Mr. Minister is behind this.  Meanwhile, Plot 
Error Man crawls out of the Auntie_May Chamber and orders Dominos.
     Z-team give their Secret Origin as an Anti-Ninja (tm) force, and explain 
that they use rubber bullets due to an agreement with the now depleted Ninja 
Union.  Nevertheless, UN is in a coma.
     Time-Waster Lad finds the action figures at KT Toys.  A fight breaks out 
over whose figure looks best.  Sledge Hammer called in to deal with them.
     RosterwReam bitches out Sidewinder for hitting the activation stud on the 
gene scrambler/random teleporter.  Sidewinder leaves, then RwR runs across SKM 
putting the computer chip into the LNH computer, passing it off as a net-access
chip to allow them to play the new LNH computer game.  The two head to the mall
on hearing of the fight.  Squiggy (Mr. Minister's computer) uses the chip to 
remotely activate the base's auto-destruct.
     The X-Over Men arrive at the much-picked-over ruins of Y-Plex Burp's base 
and manage to find the Ring of Retconn where others have failed.  They use it 
to summon Crossover Queen from out of the loop in alt.lwaxana.troi.die.die.die.
     Manga Man finally defeats Plot King by pointing out Occultism Kid's 
violation of linear plot in part 3.  He begins fixing the Akira Wave device 
squashed by a truck sometime between parts 2 and 4.
     The Fan.dom of the Alt.ra is informed by his servants of the new LNH 
merchandise on the market.  He MUST have it.  He takes Damn Yankee with him and
goes to the Big.City Mall to buy a complete set and destroy Rebel Yell if he 
happens to be in the area.
     Meanwhile at his palacial Estate (the Fourth Estate), Acton Lord sips mint
julips and has babes hanging off his arm while he gloats about how well this is
all going.  For someone who has been mentioned only two or three times in the 
preceding four parts, he seems to be behind alot of stuff.
     UN shows up in COMA, and meets MZL-prime, who really is still in a coma.

501 BLUES/RATTLER HIDE #2  -  PART SIX
     Ultimate Ninja, in COMA, faces the Electrocutioner, and finally explains
the series title as he is forced to sing, which he does through the entire
issue.
     RosterwReam is caught trying to go on adventure by List Lad, and kept
back as Sidewinder and SideKick Man leave without him.  Meanwhile,
Multi-Tasking Man finds some glitches in his computer and goes to the main
computer to check them out.  He arrives as the computer is reciting a destruct
sequence and LL and RwR are being clueless.  He stops the sequence by simply
turning off the computer and removing the chip SKM added.
     Fan.dom of the Alt.Ra arrives at the mall, collects Sledge Hammer and
Dori, then buys all the LNH figures and gets them signed before eliminating all
but his own copies of the Fan.dom figure.  He then leaves the story.
     Table sees his Fan.dom figures disappear and realizes he's been rumbled.
     Plot King draws strength from the fact all plot threads were advanced in 
part 5, and counterattacks.
     The group at City.Hall sends a message off to Rebel Yell, who also gets an
update from M-TM.  He orders reinforcements sent to City.Hall.  Then a Dominos 
guy arrives with PlotError Man's Pizza.  Reb gets an idea....
     M-TM then writes out Crossover Queen and the X-Over Men by sending them to
REC.ORG.SCA.  After a moment of silence for Flatulence Lad, he sends 
reinforcements to City.Hall, including Sarcastic Lad.
     Slap.Sig pops in at Mr. Minister's satellite, then leaves.  Sufferyng
broods about his armor, and Fan.dom settles in to watch the fun on wide-screen
high-resolution TV.

ULTIMATE NINJA #2  -  PART SEVEN
     Bambi turns out to not be such a bimbo after all, and sets about draining 
Acton Lord's computer files while he lies drugged.
     UN finds a way to frustrate the Electrocutioner, and since I don't know 
what song he used either, I'm frustrated.
     Cliche Dude actually delivers the pizza, but Lurking Girl lurks in anyway.
     List Lad chews out RwR some more, and RwR sees a few important plot points
on the monitor...if only he could get away to deal with them....
     Acton Lord (apparently the wReamed version) awakens and catches 'Bambi' as
she steals his UNCOMAMZL.ZIP and wipes his other files.
     UN tries to link minds with Reb.
     Luri uses the old Lurk-Knife trick to take down Table and lower the
defenses so everyone can barge in and capture the baddies.  They forget about 
PlotError Man, again.  Maybe it's part of his power.
     Parking Karma Kid finds a use for his power and disengages the brakes on 
the Z-Team's truck.  In the confusion, Halls Jordan snorts a cough drop into 
Z's gun and takes him out.  Then the reinforcements arrive, and the battle is 
quickly over.  Dada Dude chaoticizes Z into a COMA, and Old Comics Man suggests
they get UN to a hospital.
     Acton Lord pulls out Big Guns and tries to shoot Bambi, who is waiting to 
be transmatted out.
     Reb tries to have a tender moment with Luri, but is interrupted by the 
mindlink from UN, corrupted into Barry Manilow songs.  Thus wReam gets back at 
Scav for Part Six. }->
     Z arrives in COMA, and is also forced to sing for the Electrocutioner, 
giving UN's voice a break.
     Bambi stalls with an origin story, revealing herself to be Miss Multitask,
the granddaughter of M-TM, who came back to thwart Acton Lord in this
storyline.  She escapes during an overly long rant by Acton Lord.
     The Big.City Mall is totally packed with kids, and they call for
reinforncements to sign autographs and so forth.
     Reb's group arrives at LNHQ, waves to Plot King, and Contraption Man
introduces Miss Multitask to them.

CRISIS OF INFINITE CLONES #2  -  PART EIGHT

     Miss Multitask is more formally introduced to the LNH, and Manga Man takes
advantage of the presence of time travelers in the plotline to weaken Plot 
King.
     PrimeClone Acton Lord (PCAL) arrives at the HQ of the Acton Lord who Miss
Multitask was infiltrating, and who is revealed to be the wReamed Acton Lord
(wRAL).  PCAL bitches out wRAL for botching things up and begins to shed some
light on all these Acton Lords running around (translation:  dvandom plans to 
go back to just one WC Acton Lord soon).
     In REC.ORG.SCA, the X-Over Men fail to get Crossover Queen to break away 
from the postings, so use the Ring of Retconn to return to Net.ropolis (the 
ring remains on her finger, however) in order to join the ES crossover and gain
the power to free Crossover Queen from her new prison.  The arrive at the 
Big.City Mall in the guise of Rebel Yell and others.
     Sufferyng gets attacked by Sig.pocalypse, who he inadvertently stabilizes 
by throwing Spaghetti-O's at him.
     The imprisoned Z-Team members fail to escape but succeed in getting on 
each others' nerves.  Where is Coach?
     Miss Multitask's nickname, Taskani (which she hates) is revealed by 
Contraption Man.  She then warns the LNH of Mr. Minister.
     PCAL uncorrupts wRAL's files ("some people train, y'know") and then enacts
his plan to put Taskani out of action.
     Sig.pocalypse has pretty much defeated Sufferyng when he is bushwhacked by
Sidewinder...who turns out to be the Golden Age Acton Lord (GAAL)!  GAAL 
reveals that he has been Sidewinder for at least since the Death Of Flatulence
Lad (aha, so he didn't see Invisible Incendiery!) and is about to finish off
Sig.Lad (who has fallen out of the Sig.pocalypse mode) when Plot King is
knocked back into the fight.  Repowered by the conclusion of a long
foreshadowing, Plot King drives off GAAL and Sufferyng before taking Sig.Lad to
the Med Center.
     While that fight goes on, Taskani is suddenly hit by the ULTIMATE LAG!
     Meanwhile, Kid Anarky has just left the Mall when he witnesses it implode
under the critical mass of so many net.heroes (most played by X-Over Men) and
fankiddies.  Everyone in the Mall ends up in COMA, and a hint is given as to
the possible-but-don't-quote-me-on-it Identity of the Electrocutioner.

     Dave Van Domelen, if you actually read this Jim....BOO! }->
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.misc