From: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Subject: Re: Boss Peeve
Reply-To: z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson)
Organization: McOlsen's Lutefisk Burgers -- one served.
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 23:38:24 GMT

jennyg@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Dominque Teton) writes:
>> z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson) writes:

>>	That's strange, I didn't ask for a GIF of your overall physique
>>either.  Perhaps you figure I'd be more than remotely interested in such?
>>Thankfully, I have achieved satisfaction in this area with April, who is
>                                                            ^^^^^
>
>I assume you are referring to *Miss* April, in the sticky old issue of
>Pentohouse you keep hidden under your moth-eaten underwear to warm you
>on could Autumn nights.

	Well, she is still a Miss, thankfully, but I don't think there
have been any pictures published of her.  If there have been, it was
in a tabloid under the heading "Lady Mobbed by Spawn-of-Satan Biker"
or some such.  I have friends who regularly read the tabloids, claiming
they are cheaper than movies or cable TV for entertainment value, so I'm
certain I would have been informed.  As for Penthouse, it's hardly my
type of rag.  I prefer Playboy, since it has decent articles, but if I'm
going for sheer porno there's a Chinese-owned video store about two
blocks away that imports from not only the Far East but also from Denmark.
Now *there's* some trashy porn suitable for framing or donating to a
library once you've changed the mailing label to that of your boss.

	Do moths eat cotton underwear?  I know they eat wool, but who
besides somebody with a name like Petrovich would want to wear woolen
underwear?  It sounds incredibly uncomfortable.

>If you don't believe my testimony, why should you believe any of my friends
>who might post to the net.  The only way to *really* be sure is to come
>to Massachusetts and check 'em out yourself, or send a representative whose
>opinion you respect.

	Sadly, I refuse to enter Massachusetts for several reasons.  The
prime reason is that I don't like their laws.  A secondary reason is that
I don't like their drivers.  Finally, it's too damn far to drive just to
check out a pair of nipples.  Thanks for the offer, but due to circumstances
beyond my control etc. etc...  As for your friends, the hope was that they
could take a picture and scan it in.  This was so thinly veiled I figured it
was obvious.  They still allow cameras in Massoftwoshits, don't they?

>It's just as likely that I'm a *guy* with a beer gut & my jeans hanging
>down to expose the crack in my ass & that I spend my free time drooling
>over Miss April & doing the Funky Chester (twirl, twirl).

	So you look like Geoff, eh?  Geoff, do you have perky nipples too?
How about when you're working on a race car?  Viewing an air show?
Watching Firepower on Discovery?

>As a brief aside, I went to a strip joint a few years back, and there
>was one older chick who had *seriously* given into gravity.  After shimmy-
>ing for a while, which was most entertaining, as her boobs made a pleasant
>"Thappeta Thappeta" sound as they whizzed through the air, she turned around.
>She hooked one drooping hooter under each arm and continued to shimmy.
>Pretty impressive - of course, as I'm only a B-cup, I don't I'll ever reach
>that state.  More's the shame....

	Only a "B" cup?  Damn...  Forget the GIF, then.  Perky nipples or no,
a "B" cup just isn't large enough to make for decent ear-warmers during
the cold evenings of winter around here, and are difficult to get a firm
hold on when making the sign of the tripple-billed salamander. (ob Joe Bob)

	That older woman you mentioned, though, reminds me of some pretty
sleazy strip joints I've been in.  It seems the quality of the tits
is proportional to the distance from the dock when it comes to naval ports.
In any event, I once saw a dancer twist her torso in this guys face, and
her sagging mammaries were going "Thwak!" "Thwak" "Thwak" as they
slammed into the sides of his face and wrapped around his ears.  The next
day he did have some bruising about the face and neck.  I've also seen
dancers with what seems to be only nipples, looking as if something just
over the size of a quarter was inserted underneath for proper proportion.
If I'm going to pay good money to drink beer and watch some tits bounce,
I damn well expect those tits to be observable from beyond the second
row.  Telescopes look out of place in a strip bar, and can interfere with
proper drinking posture.

>Just as well, as it allows the pages of "Hot Pregnant Teens" to dry off
>between spurts.

	This exists?  Where do I subscribe?  If Lockheed would advertise
in it I bet they'd triple their business.

>>>that my nipples are more attractive when erect.  Surely you don't need a 
>>>.GIF to confirm that.
>>
>>	Uhhh, yes.  Yes I do. 
>
>Sorry, babe. I ain't got a scanner.  Doesn't bother *me* none, as I can just
>look down and admire them whenever I want. Hah!

	Oh, sure, *bragg* about your proximity.  See if I care.  Harrumph!

>>Yeah, I need a GIF or a detailed description
>>of your nipples with a yak covered in whipped creme and lime jello in a
>>prominent role.
>
>As I sai, I got no scanner - and it seems as though you've already provided
>a fairly good description yourself, so why should I waste the nets money 
>elaborating on it?  

	Hey, *you* were the one making disparaging remarks about my
imaginative abilities.  Now you think they're fairly good?  Good enough,
probably, but then again I figured Claudio to look like Gene Simmons.

>>	Does this mean you're not going to post it?
>
>I guess not.  I hate redundancy.

	Oh, well.  Hey, I gave it the old college try anyway.  Judging
from the way Iowa State lost to University of Iowa today, I'm doing
above average for a Cyclone.

--
<Dan Sorenson, DoD #1066 |"I see angels on Ariels in leather and>
<z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu | chrome, Swooping down from heaven to >
<viking@iastate.edu      | carry me home."   ---    R. Thompson >
<ISU thinks I need more education, which they provide for a fee.>