From: pharvey@quack.sac.ca.us (Paul Harvey)
Subject: Re: Christian Census [LONG! 90 lines]
Keywords: Book of SubGenius, ISBN: 0-671-63810-6
Organization: The Duck Pond public unix: +1 408 249 9630, log in as 'guest'.
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 04:17:51 GMT

In article <gate.67H3qB1w164w@pil.UUCP> root@pil.UUCP writes:
>> or give them a Church of the SubGenius rant.
>Sounds like a wonderful idea to me....
>JW: Hello, we'd like to talk to you about our religion.
>me: Only if I can talk to you for the same amount of time about mine.
>JW: Well, does it involve god and christ?
>me: It may, or it may not...
>and they usually go away, but DO be prepared to talk for 30 minutes about
>your religion if they accept your chalange.

30 minutes? A little tight on time? Busy schedule? No time to hear the
truth? Come in, sit down my tired travellers, let us discuss the Book,
tea and biscuits?, oh let's just dive right into the truth, don't you
think it's time? Let's do it:
[Ref:BofSG]:
The Space Bankers see you .......... 43%!
If it makes any difference, the real meaning of "666" is that it
represents a breakthrough in computer technology that the Xists will
bring: the Trinary Code, which besides the "Yes" and "No" functions of
each basic computer decision, add a "Sort Of" function, [fuzzy logic],
enabling the machines to think more like people do. And this Xist
computer will be either our greatest friend or out VERY DOOM, depending
on US. But WHO CARES if They do decide to line us all up and laser-tatoo
a number on our hands and foreheads? We're already tattooed in ways FAR
more insidious than that. It's not just that number, it's every number.
Sure, electronic fund transfer paves the way for final takeover, but two
thirds of that takeover has happened! All the born-agains in the world
can refuse The Mark, but what good will it do them? They're already
branded. In fact, the cattle aren't even in the field anymore. They're
almost up to the slaughterhouse DOOR! Oh, the AntiChrist will come
alright ... provided by The Conspiracy. He fits into the plant along
with whichever "Jesus" they decide to go with. It's just ONE MORE GAME
... one more group to join that people will think can save them. One
more group to keep them from joining US! Something ... simpler, and
easier to understand. The hopes and fears ... the United Nations, the
World Food Organization, etc, etc, etc, ... that's all two-bit stuff.
It's controlled by HUMANS! We of the True Church would be wringing our
hands if we didn't KNOW the Lord was on OUR SIDE and that the THIRD REAL
JESUS was "Bob's" golfing partner. The causes for paranoia by the
religious right and the superstitious left are two drops in the bucket.
They see only the OBVIOUS things. The subtle controls are really much
worse. For instance, half the people in the US can't control their own
thermostats. The fear of ... of ... well, of the fear has been spread so
effectively that folks are glad to exchange privacy for security. But
it's security only as long as the guards are Good Guys. They've already
restricted ownership of guns (except by criminals, of course) and
they've restricted how much money you can move from one country to
another; they've initiated detention of individuals without a trial (the
psychiatric profession) the coding of all financial transactions, making
certain types of education compulsory or illegal, wage and price
control, manipulation of morals and ethics through pervasive, biased
media ... and all this in the world's more FREE country! Theoretically.
We've seen the others and they're WORSE! People are just starting to
worry about computer control of their lives. Well, it's TOO LATE, IT'S
HERE! 1984 canme and went 20 years ago! And that's why money isn't
nearly as important as SLACK! You can pring or burn money, but you can't
manufacture SLACK! It is the Final Commondity. So They want it all.

We Dare Call it "CONSPIRACY"
"There's something definitely un-American about banks nowadays" -Little
"Bobby" Dobbs at age 10
"The Trilateral Commission doesn't secretly run the world. The Council
on Foreign Relations does that." -Winston Lord, President of the C.F.R.
"We must pray for the fat people ... it's against the Lord to be fat
..." -heard on a Christian radio broadcast
"It'll be the Powers of Good against the Forces of
Good-And-Evil-At-The-Same-Time, and THE TWAIN SHALL MEET, HEAD-ON!
YEEEEEEAAAAAA ..." -Dr. Philo Drummond, 01 on "Bob" vs The Conspiracy
"You know, what really makes me mad ... what really makes me pee ... in
these Zombies nowadays. They don't try. Now when I was a Zombie, we rose
from the grave early in the morning, not at one or two in the afternoon.
And when we ate the flesh of a woman's corpse, we did it with respect
for the woman!" -St. Janor on the Panel Discussion at the 1965 World
SubGenius Revival
If you can't get Slack for yourself, you sure as hell aren't going to be
able to give it to somebody else. And that's just what They've got you
trying to do. You can't think ... everything's gone wrong ... you're so
tired ... the kids are driving you crazy ... your spouse lost another
job and is drinking again ... you're supposed to have an operation and
you don't know where the money's gonna come from ... it just doesn't
seem worth it anymore ... there's no one to talk to ... you don't know
if you can hold up under all this, and you're not sure if you want to
... you're ashamed of the things you HAVEN'T DONE ... you keep thinking
about those pills ... Put a dog in a cage and he'll run in circles. Put
a man in a cage and he'll run for President. AND IT'S THE SAME THING!
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