From: sgauch@ccs.northeastern.edu (Susan Gauch)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Nighttime Potty Training - Followup
Date: 2 Sep 92 21:15:42 GMT
Organization: College of Computer Science, Northeastern University
Originator: sgauch@damon.ccs.northeastern.edu

Here is a summary of responses to my question re my daughter (3.6)
being potty-reliable during the day, but still using a diaper at
night.  As expected, she was not alone, but there weren't that many
responses of parents with similar concerns.  One parent even mentioned
that her pediatrician had never had anyone ask about diapers large 
enough to hold a whole night's production!  Gee, my next door neighbor
has a 5 year old boy in diapers at night, I can't believe that
the doctor hasn't heard of it.

Other than basic support, the suggestions were basically
1) To consider limiting fluids at night.
   - Laura still drinks a bottle of milk before bed.  It's her only
     milk so I've been tempted to keep the bottle.  However, when she
     starts pre-school next week I think I'll make losing the bottle
     part of the rite-of-passage.  I've managed to convince her to drink
     milk during the day because "the doctor wants her to."  That worked
     like a charm.

2)  Wake her before we go to bed to use the potty.
    - I don't like this idea because I've heard it makes them dependent
      on being woken rather than on waking themself.  Also, Laura is
      a HEAVY sleeper (which I believe is the main cause of the problem).
      She is not easy to wake, and cries when she is woken.  I can still change
      her diaper when she's asleep without her batting an eye.  Her baby
      brother wakes if I so much as open the door to peek at him.

3)  Put her to bed naked below the waist.
    - I like this one.  This is how we achieved day-time training.  We did
      it one night with success (YEAH!) but the next night she wet the
      bed (BOO!).  In spite of my encouragement, she doesn't want to try
      again just now.  I will wait until the bedtime bottle is gone and
      try again then.

Here are the edited e-mail (names removed) I received:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
 My son is 3 years and 6 months old.  He is daytime toilet trained,
and he stays dry through his afternoon nap, but at night we put
him in a Pull-Up.  I've wondered the same thing that you've asked
the net - am I holding him back by putting him to bed in the
Pull-Up?  Would you mind sending me a summary of the responses
you get?  Thanks!


---
My son also is discouraged because he has been daytime potty trained
for over a year, but still wets his bed at night.  I have asked many people
about this, and basically hear that some kids just can not stay dry at night
until 5 or 6.  We have tried some things to help our son feel better so he
won't be so frustrated:

1.  We use the disposable pullups at night.  At first, they did not hold
enough, but they really help him feel like a "big boy" since they look like
underpants and he can use them completely on his own.  He would NEVER take
off his diaper to use the potty ... too much trouble I guess.  He does
use the potty with his pullups on though (SOMETIMES in the middle of the night)

2.  Before we switched completely to pullups, I discovered that our son
was wetting in his diaper before he even fell asleep.  We started an incentive
system where he would get a sticker the next morning if his diaper was dry
when he fell asleep.  I would check before I went to bed.  When he stopped
wetting his diaper so early in the night, we were able to use the pullups since
there was not so much to hold.  Possibly your daughter is doing the same
thing???

3.  There is a book called "All By Myself" (I think that is the title). It
is about a girl who learns to stay dry at night.  For some reason, just knowing
that it can be done helped my son feel better.  I would recommend looking for
it at the library.

Good luck .. I will be anxious to see what other people suggest too!
\

---
My daughter was also about 3 1/2 and still wore a diaper at night.
Although she was consistantly dry during the day, we still put a
diaper on her before going to bed.  She was always very wet in the
morning and I was beginning to despair that she wouldn't ever
learn how to sleep through the night without a diaper.

Yes, always insist that she use the toilet before going to bed.

With my daughter, I began to feel that putting a diaper on
her at night was giving her permission to not use the potty.  She
knew she could just go in her diaper.  The real turning point was
when I bought her some Little Mermaid panties (she loves Little
Mermaid) and she didn't want to take them off to put on her diaper
before bed.  I just let her keep them on and told her to use the
potty if she had to go.  Well, it worked like a charm.  My husband
was very skeptical, but she got up later that night to use the
potty by herself.  I realize that this may not work with Laura,
but there may be something that will make her really want to stay
dry.  Sarah never needed a diaper at night after that point, and
has always been able to get out of bed and use the potty by
herself.  Needless to say, I was so proud and pleased.

I think Laura must have the ability to wake herself up
when she needs to use the potty.  If she can nap for 2-4 hours
without wetting the bed or couch, then she should be able to sleep
through the night, or at least wake up when she needs to go.  I
knew Sarah was ready because she always took a nap and rarely wet 
the bed.

I have read on the net that other parents resign themselves to
waking up their kids in the middle of the night to let them use
the potty.  If you are able to wake up at midnight-1:00 or so, you
could wake Laura and have her pee then.  Perhaps that would help
her to wake up on her own when she needs to go.

Good luck.

---
The daughter of a friend of mine started sleeping with no diaper, no
underwear.  That helped her because she woke up as soon as she started
to wet.  

You also might want to try putting her in cloth diapers during the
night.  I truly believe that leaving disposable diapers on kids reduces
the incentive to toilet train because they're comfortable and
dry-feeling even after they've wet.  I have heard that those Pull-Ups
are the worst and don't work at all, for that reason.  I don't have
children of my own, however, so I'm basing this only on what others have
told me.

If you haven't already, you might want to wake her before you go to bed
and have her go then.  It'll be a pain for you, but it might save you
from changing sheets constantly.  

Does limiting liquids after dinner make any difference in how much she
wets?  I certainly wouldn't refuse liquids if she asks, but maybe not
offering or not having a cup around all evening might make a difference.

Good luck!


---
My son was 4 in July and still cannot stay dry at night.  I had used cloth
diapers but had to stop since the diaperwraps were no longer big enough.  We
switched to PullUps since they seemed to fit better than the largest plastic
diapers.  Most nights the PullUps are OK but some mornings the bed is
soaked.  At his 4YO checkup I asked my pediatrician how to encourage him
to stay dry at night.  Her advice was to talk about it a lot and remind
him that he could wake up and use the bathroom at night.  She also suggested
to limit his liquids at night.  This was really bothersome since part of his
routine is to have a drink before bed.  That first night was horrible - he must
have woken up 10 times to ask me why he couldn't have a drink.  Needless
to say we gave it up and he is still using PullUps.  I can't wait until
he can go all night.  But each morning the PullUp is soaked.  He really
wants to be dry as he has asked to go without just as your daughter has.
I just keep remembering that he won't go to college in PullUps!!

P.S.  I asked my pedi what she recommended for diapers since it seemed that
the plastic ones and the diaperwraps were not large enough.  She told me that
no one had ever asked her before.  Kind of hard to believe?!

---
      Hi. I am going through this right now with my son. Exact
  same problem. Exact same approach. He sleeps like a log. I have
  thought of trying to use the Pull-Ups, but they are more expensive,
  and as long as the diaper fits, my friend advised staying with
  that. My nephew wore diapers until after age 5, I need to ask my
  sister-in-law where she got them. Anyway, please either forward
  or post any responses you get.
-- 
Susan Gauch
sgauch@flora.ccs.northeastern.edu