HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: beth@col.hp.com (Beth Vail Jones)
Subject: Re: toy storage
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 20:06:09 GMT
Organization: HP Colorado Springs Division

Our solution to toy "organization" is eclectic, and may not be as
aesthetically pleasing as some people would like, but we're happy.

I have three giant laundry baskets.  Two are downstairs, and one is
upstairs in a closet.  The two downstairs baskets used to keep the
baby's toys (rattles, vinyl books, etc.) separate from our older
child's toys (trucks, shape sorter, plastic animals, etc.), but now they
both enjoy the same stuff so we don't try to keep the toys separate.
The upstairs basket holds some excess toys, which are swapped for toys
downstairs when the downstairs toys get too boring.

The Duplos came in a storage boxes, so those boxes reside in a corner of
the living room.  A couple of other largish toys (fire engine and toy
house) are in a semi-private corner behind the sofa.  The kids love to
go in that corner to play.  I keep crayons in a bin out of reach except
under adult supervision :-), and most of the puzzles are also out of
reach, but handy.

For us, the biggest messes used to come from books being strewn about.
The book shelf was always a mess, due to little hands busily taking ALL
the books out of the shelf.  When we got a new TV cabinet in our living
room, we declared that the bottom cupboards (too hard to child-proof
anyway) were for the kids; one cupboard has the books, and the other
has the stuffed animals.

Beth Jones
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: J.Osborne@cam.compserv.utas.edu.au
Subject: Reluctant pooer
Reply-To: Jo Osborne
Organization: University of Tasmania
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 02:34:26 GMT

What shall I do about my son Jack's 'difficulty'? He's 20 months old and
appears to be trying as hard as he can *not* to do a poo.

It seems to have started about four weeks ago when he got a very sore bottom.
Understandably he hated nappy (diaper, for you lot over the water) changes
because it hurt, and started to stop himself from 'going' - only it *looked* as
though he was actually straining because he would stand quite ridgid and go
pink in the face and watery in the eyes. (Jack has met a potty but isn't
interested in it yet.)

When he hadn't 'gone' properly for four days I took Jack to the doctor who
diagnosed his sore bottom as thrush and gave me some cream to use on it. I also
started him on 'stool softening drops' to help with his apparent constipation.
The cream helped his bottom and the drops eventually cleared out his system,
but three weeks later neither problem is better.

I think I may have a behavioural rather than physical problem on my hands now.
Jack still tries very hard not to do a poo, going ridgid and clamping his
little bottom together when he feels something happening. A little bit comes
out - just enough to aggrevate his bottom and keep it sore. He really doesn't
seem to be trully constipated because the stools that do eventuate arn't hard.
This straining/not straining makes him very unhappy, but at other times he
seems quite happy.

Any suggestions? (And my apologies to Jack for talking about him like this in
public!)

Jo




Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: lcheap@cac.washington.edu (Laurel Cheap )
Subject: Re: Names of teddybears ("Bumbles" explained)
Organization: UW Computing
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 21:48:27 GMT

In article <Yezwxzq00iV0M1dGYC@andrew.cmu.edu> jm5p+@andrew.cmu.edu (Judi Mancuso) writes:
>The Christmas my son Vince was 2 my college roommate came for the
>holidays and brought Vince a soft, biege colored Gund bear.  He fell
>instantly in love with him and christened him "Bumbles"---we were so
>curious as to why he chose that name--we are still not so sure (someone
>told me that some character on "Frosty The Snowman" is named Bumbles). 

Bumbles comes from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special that
is shown on tv every year at Christmas time.  As Rudolph and his
little elf friend (who wants to be a dentist, not an elf) run away
from home to find a place where they will be accepted, they have a
scare with an abominable snowman who kidnaps Rudolph's family
and eventually gets pushed off a cliff by Yukon Cornelius (?), a
prospector.  Yukon and the abon. snowman, thought both to be dead,
show up later (to put the star on the top of the tree at Santa's).
When asked to explain how they survived, Yukon says "Why, didn't 
I ever tell you:  Bumbles bounce!", referring to the abon. snowman.
And they all lived happily ever after, accepting everyone for who
they are, not what everyone expects them to be.

Can you tell that I *love* this story?!  :-)  It's narrated by
Burl Ives who does an excellent job.

*<|:-{}}    <--- santa

Only 45 days 'til Christmas!!!               

-Laurel ("I saw mama kissin' Santa Claus") Cheap          
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Laurel Cheap           University of Washington   lcheap@u.washington.edu
Information Systems    Seattle, Washington  USA   a.k.a. Brendan's mommy
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: yasu@ll.mit.edu (Alan Yasutovich)
Subject: Re: 20/20 and Spanking
Organization: MIT Lincoln Laboratory
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 92 13:55:06 GMT

In article <1992Nov3.110447.13324@sequent.com> newell@sequent.com (Donald Newell) writes:
> I have to agree that Think is the operative word here. My wife is always 
> having kids over for various activities. The kids who are spanked are 
> absolutely the  worst behaved once their parents leave. I've basically 
> come to the conclusion that parents - myself included - are often
> clueless about the behavior of their children when they are not around. 
> Imagine having a 350 lb. weightlifting hells-angel hang around our homes
> telling you us how to behave. I'm sure we'd only need to be beaten up
> once or  twice before we learned not to "defy" his will (or is that mouth
> back, I can never get it straight which ones require we assult our
> children). In any case, I'm sure we would have different behaviors for 
> our protector than for our friends. Its no different with kids.

	I have to wonder if the expression "believe in spanking"
	needs to be qualified/quantified better here.  I can well
	imagine that the kids on the 20/20 thing would act as described
	above.  But *my* belief in "sapnking" does not mean I
	follow my kid around with a 2x4.  It means I believe in an
	"attention getter" whack.


	The problem is the same.  If someone says, "I don't drink;
	I don't believe in it", it means they have some kind of
	internal reasoning that prohibits them from even a taste.

	Just becvause they might say, "Yes, I drink", doesn't mean
	they check into detox every night, either.

-- 
	Alan Yasutovich
	"inquiring  (and nosey) minds WANT TO KNOW!!!"
	I can remember when "safe sex" meant having a padded headboard!!
	Tick Tock.....Tick Tock......Tick Tock .....Tick Tock......
From: dsc@gemini.tmc.edu (Doug S. Caprette Bldg. 28 W191 x3892)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Plain Talk About Spanking (long)
Date: 11 Nov 92 00:33:05 GMT
Article-I.D.: nsisrv.1992Nov11.003305.25064
Organization: NASA GSFC CDP VLBI

In article <7523@tekig7.PEN.TEK.COM> dank@tekig6.pen.tek.com writes:
>Following are a couple of quotes from different posts, admittedly somewhat
>out of context, but they are representative of distinctions I think several
>parents are making that seem to me would be lost on the kids.
>
>One poster says:
>
>>I don't believe in 'punishment'.  That does not
>>mean that I think you can let people (of any age) do things that hurt
>>themselves or others.  And as a parent you have more of a responsibility
>>to prevent a child from hurting people than in other sorts of relationships.
>
>>There are all sorts of ways to do this.  If you need to restrain someone,
>>you restrain them.  If someone is tired and needs a rest, you can remove
>>them from a situation.  If someone has caused harm, you can require
>>restitution, up to the ability of the person to restore what was damaged.
>
>Another poster says:
>
>>However, I don't view such rules, i.e. rules governing
>>safety or acceptable social conduct (can't intentionally harm
>>someone) as examples of parental authority.  Yes, for now, until our
>>son is old enough to understand exactly *why* we have such rules, he
>>is still expected to follow such rules.
>
>I have trouble understanding the difference between punishment and restraint
>or restitution as an adult.

One way to define punishment is the method used in operant conditioning.

If you do something to someone in response to an action on their part, and
they stop doing that action, then what yuou did constitutes punishment.

If you have a child sit in a comfy chair whenever they hit someone and they
stopping hitting people, then sitting in a comfy chair is punishment.

Moreover, I've seen this sort of punishment work extremely well!
From: llf@alice.att.com (alice!llf)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: critical relatives
Date: 11 Nov 92 18:00:59 GMT
Article-I.D.: alice.24153
Reply-To: llf@alice.UUCP (alice!llf)
Organization: New Jersey State Home for Bewildered Kittens

In article <1992Nov9.234640.17487@netcom.com> shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller) writes:
>For those who are having "parental advice problems", is the problem what
>I'm describing above?  If so, has anyone found a way to change things so
>that relatives can provide input while not presenting it in an 
>objectionable way?

Part of my problem is what you've described.  The other part is that sometimes
I simply don't agree with them, and they come from a culture where if you
respect someone, you agree with them.

I live far away from them, so I usually only talk to them on the phone.
Typically, I behave the way I would like to:  I look past the presentation to
the message and attempt to steer the conversation to more neutral ground about
the message.  Using hypothetical examples or examples of people other than
myself helps a lot.

When we're in close physical proximity, it gets much harder to stay calm.
For example, by the end of a 1 week visit, I'm pretty tense.
Then, I've handled the presentation part as follows.
(1) I usually respond to their comments with something relatively neutral,
    like "I see what you mean" or "Oh, I hadn't considered it that way before."
(2) After talking to them, I go to my room and have a temper tantrum.
(3) After my temper tantrum, I spend 2 or 3 days analyzing what they said and
    discovering they might have a good point.  Unfortunately, I do this part
    out loud to my spouse.  Fortunately, he is pretty tolerant.

My sister, on the other hand, handled the whole thing differently.  They had
battles all thru her last years at home about them treating her like an adult.
So rather than getting bad presentation, she gets her messages relatively
"clean".  Her technique makes more sense to me....
I'd recommend that you chose some other "battleground" than the baby to
start working on presentation (or start before you have babies), realizing
that there is a limit to how much they can change presentations, and
you have to change your objections too.

Lynda
-- 
					Member HASA, Atheist-Scum Division
"The One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocalypse" - Terry Pratchet
From: tnzj@vax5.cit.cornell.edu
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Please Don't Spank!
Date: 13 Nov 92 14:12:08 EST
Distribution: misc
Organization: Cornell University

In article <TIGGER.92Nov12153638@satyr.Sylvan.COM>,
tigger@satyr.Sylvan.COM (Grace Sylvan) writes: 
> In article <1992Nov11.092908.15849@vax5.cit.cornell.edu> tnzj@vax5.cit.cornell.edu writes:
> 
>    > Please don't spank! Don't teach obediance!>  
>    > (stuff deleted)
 
> Please, if you want to support parents, make the distinction in your
> vocabularly between PUNISHING a child and DISCIPLINE. It *is* the
> parent's responsibility to monitor their children, teach appropriate
> behaviors, set examples, and *stop* dangerous/inappropriate behaviors.
> Those behaviors *are* all involved with disciplining children and
> helping them to learn self discipline as they get older.
> 
> Remember, when we use the word 'undisciplined' or 'self-disciplined'
> we are not talking about spanking or punishing - we're talking about
> the ability to select and follow through on our commitments/promises.
> When we talk about an adult being well disciplined, we aren't implying
> that he or she spanks or punishes him/herself.
> 
> It is exactly your misuse of the language - equating discipline with
> punishment, and then saying that children don't need discipline that
> gives fuel to pro-spanking arguments. They assume that when you say
> 'no discipline' that you mean that you won't restrict your child's
> behaviors - being overly permissive has been shown (in at least 1
> study!) to be as damaging to the children as being overly authoritarian
> (and punishing). But there is a middle ground, of respect, of
> guidance, of setting limits and following through that can give the
> kids the best of everything - and they'll learn to be responsible for
> themselves and not drive their parents too crazy or be out of control.
> 

	Certainly I would like to support parents!  What precious little
help our society gives towards its children and those who are raising
them.  I feel good parent must do more than take care of his or her own.
Our children have to live with ALL those other children.
	I misuse the language regularly and did not intend to give support
in any way to pro-spanking arguments.  Children certainly need to learn
how to live with others and their interaction with their parents is the
beginning of that process.  I certainly have expectations of my children
and agree with your premises.
	As far as punishment and discipline, they may not be that important.
I feel we as a people view life in terms of what we will not do.  Behaviors,
foods, practices, are excluded.  This carries over into our relationship with
our children.  It isn't what you keep them from doing, it's what you do for
them.  I try to approach my children with a mind to what can I do for them;
what can I add to their lives?  I'm not just supposed to "watch" them and
take corrective steps (exclude behaviors).  
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: petel@sequent.com (Pete Lancashire)
Subject: abuse (was: 20/20 and Spanking)
Organization: Sequent Computer Systems, Inc.
Distribution: sqnt
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 92 17:28:23 GMT

newell@sequent.com (Donald Newell) writes:

>In article <25822@optima.cs.arizona.edu> shack@cs.arizona.edu (David Shackelford) writes:
>>[...]
>>I have had a frightening experience with older children & matches:
>>....

> I had a frightening experience with older children & a playground.
> A six year old was jumping from the top of the slide with my son.
> The other mother came out and started beating and spanking and hitting
> him. His reaction was "Please don't, please, please". 
> That's a DIRECT quote -- I was there.
> Don N.

One of my experiences was being with a 10 year old when he
dropped a can of coke on the floor. The boy went into a fetal
position on the floor, lost colour, body temp. dropped, and
mumbled 'don't hit me, don't hit me...'

Now that I have been studying behavioral science I now know that
the boy went into shock.

Spanking was the method of 'training' in this nice clean christian
sundy school family.

(Sorry, but my internal FLAME thrower is turning on....)

This experience and a couple others is why I'm now involved trying
to help abused kids. I just cant look the other way.

-pete
petel@sequnet.com
From: smt2626@hertz.njit.edu (sylvia gray )
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: First time mother-to-be questions
Keywords: Crib mattresses, Car seats, High chairs, changing tables
Date: 12 Nov 92 18:14:14 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: New Jersey Institute of Technology, Newark, N.J.
Originator: smt2626@hertz.njit.edu



More questions from a first-time mother-to-be,

1. I went around crib mattress shopping (I got a used wooden crib
from a garage sale).  What I say were foam mattresses and coil mattresses.
While I know technically what's the difference is, what is the difference
in respect to the baby?  Is one better for the baby than they other?
I realize that with foam mattresses do 'conform' or 'sink' to the
shape of the sleeper after some time (like years I thought) but since
the baby would only be using it for no more than say 2 years (I know of 
kids still in their cribs who are 2 years old), does it really matter?
Also if the coil mattress is really better (once everyone gives me
their expanations of such), how many coils in mattress?  I say ones
that start around I think 80 coils to 600?

2.  Car seats.  I remember earlier that there were comments about recalls
of the Century car seats.  Which model was this?  When I was looking at
car seats, the better ones seemed to be Century.  Also what am I looking for?
I know some of the common sense stuff like sturdy, adjustable (my 
preference is adjustable from infant to the max if one exists), maybe 
reclinable.  Anything else?  I really would rather spend the big bucks
(within reason) for a good solid seat I buy once (until an accident 
of course).  If this is not really a good idea, tell me.  Should I
get one for the infant then once for an older baby? What?  Once piece
of info that would help is how easy is it to get the baby in and out
of it considereing it would be sitting in the back seat of a hatchback
(we only got one car; the driver's seat is never adjusted).

3. High chairs. I know I need a sturdy high chair.  What are the specifics
I am looking for (I am going to try to get this used).  When I look at a
high chair, I picture the baby trying his darnest to rock it and 
eventually fall onto the floor and all the new high chair then don't
look that great.  Any suggestions?

4. Changing tables.  I want to convert an old wooden dinnette table 
(about 30" X 45") as a changing table.  The changing tables I have seen
have rails and straps.  Ho critically are these?  The rails I can easily
install onto the table, the straps might be trickier.  Comments?

Thanks for everything. PLEASE SEND ALL RESPONSES TO sylvia@maple.njit.edu


		-- sylvia
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: doering@froyo.esd.sgi.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: toy storage
Date: 5 Nov 92 16:38:09 GMT
Article-I.D.: odin.1992Nov5.163809.25071
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

I am looking for suggestions of styles and places to purchase toy storage
systems/toy chests.  Obviously I am looking for something safe and durable,
but since we keep the toys in the family room, the alternative also needs
to be some what aesthetically pleasing.  HELP!!!
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: mbb@keps.kodak.com (Maureen Busch)
Subject: Long-sleeved Onesies
Organization: Kodak Electronic Printing Systems
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 1992 19:12:17 GMT

[Apologies to the select few who saw this the first time I posted it]

I was recently looking for some long-sleeved onesies for shower/baby gifts.
I had some when my now 4YO was a baby, and thought they were great.  I couldn't
find any, and was wondering whether anyone has seen long-sleeved onesies by
Gerber or any other manufacturer.  Are they non-existant or just harder to
find?  Thanks a lot.
-- 
Maureen Busch
Internet: mbb@keps.com	<--note new address!
UUCP: ...!uunet!munsell!cairo!mbb (I think)
DISCLAIMER:  The opinions expressed are mine, not my employer's.
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: yozzo@watson.ibm.com (Ralph Yozzo)
Subject: Re: Age, aging, and appearance
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 14:54:48 GMT
Disclaimer: This posting represents the poster's views, not necessarily those of IBM
Organization: IBM T.J. Watson Research Center

In article <1992Nov11.073109.420@news.wesleyan.edu> RGINZBERG@eagle.wesleyan.edu (Ruth Ginzberg) writes:
>In <3934@wyse.wyse.com> donna@wyse.wyse.com writes:
>> I should be happy that I look so youthful, but what I don't like is
>> everyone assuming that I was a teenage mother.  I also don't like
>
><*chuckle*>  I have the same problem. (Just last night when I ordered a glass
>of wine I got asked if I was old enough.  I'm 40, & have a daughter who's a 
>high school senior and a foster son who's 22 & getting married next weekend.)
>
>I have a standard answer for the folks who say, "You don't look old enough to
>have a child that age!"  My answer is: <sarcasm on> "Yeah, I had th' kid when I
>was only five." <sarcasm off>  Usually people don't realize that they have just
>assumed or implied that you were a teenage (probably unwed) mother until you
>point it out to them.  It DOES get tiresome.
>
>------------------------
>Ruth Ginzberg <rginzberg@eagle.wesleyan.edu>
>Philosophy Department;Wesleyan University;USA

Then again, the person may be sincerely complimenting you.
The person may be trying to say that you carry your age with grace,
dignity, and beauty.  

There is always a bright side, if only one looks for it.

-- 
 Ralph Yozzo (yozzo@watson.ibm.com)  
 From the beautiful and historic Mid-Hudson Valley area of NY state
From: rollo@xylogics.com (Dena Rollo)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: New separation anxiety - help!
Date: 12 Nov 1992 11:04:57 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu


I always pitied the parents at Isabel's
daycare whose kids had problems adjusting,
as Isabel was very comfortable being left, 
and was always smiling and excited to see
me when I returned to pick her up (she started
daycare at about 10 weeks old).

To be honest, I guess I felt superior - like
something about my parenting was enabling her
to deal with separation so well. I was always
careful to say goodbye, and tell her I'd see
her later, even when she was too little to
understand (and even when her teacher thought
I was a bit crazy :) I thought I was doing
everything right.

Well! that'll teach me about complacency in
parenting!!!

For the past 2 weeks, Isabel (now 9-1/2 mos. old)
cries in the morning when I leave (only for a few
minutes - I stay to watch her on the monitor in
the daycare office until she calms down) and
gets absolutely *hysterical* as soon as she
sees me enter the room when I pick her up (she
stops crying when I hold her). She's also been
fussy on and off during the day at daycare,
where previously she was mostly happy.

I know several things are going on: she's at
the classic age for separation anxiety; she's
cutting her first 2 teeth; she's had a cold
and ear infection during this period; and she
recently moved from the infant to the "crawler"
room (a move I feel good about BTW - she transitioned
slowly and seemed to enjoy it until this
behavior started) - the room is smaller, but
there's more stimulation from the other kids.

All of a sudden, I'm one of those parents I
used to pity - I actually cried yesterday
dropping her off, and no longer can just
feel comfortable during the day, knowing
she's happy. Daycare is very good about
giving her extra cuddles and attention, and
about calling if she's seriously miserable,
but I feel so *bad*.

Anyone else go through this? Does is end?

-Dena