From: James.Womack@f71.n382.z1.fidonet.org (James Womack)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Deafness and Me
Date: 13 Apr 92 21:20:54 GMT
Reply-To: James.Womack@f71.n382.z1.fidonet.org
Organization: FidoNet node 1:382/71 - BitStream, Round Rock Tx

Index Number: 21101

[This is from the Silent Talk Conference]

from:  Karen Keil
to:James Womack
Me and We and Deafness

[K  Still continued..... Will quote this section again with more
comments....

JW>  I hope your feelings are less mixed now.  Mine were once mixed
too. I used to hate sign language  in any form. I used to detest
deaf people, though I  was deaf myself. Then I discovered both
myself and   my Deaf self, and I love them both. It does not  mean
I reject others, either "deaf" or hearing. It means I'm not ashamed
of who and what I am. It  means I under the "me" better. It means I
accept my  deafness and love  "my people." That I will not  waste
my time and life trying to be something I am   not. I simply am.
And I belong.

[K I don't have a Deaf self.  I have a 'me' self, a personal
identity  that has common elements with other people that enables
me to be part of many groups--family, national,social, etc.  I
identify with  other deaf people and clip out articles wherever I
find them, for  example. the Denver Broncos football deaf black
player Kenny Walker.  I identify with him and root for him because
we have an element in common in our identities--deafness.

Nothing wrong with that. I just happen to share more with Deaf
people than just being "deaf" so this makes me have a Deaf self. It
doesn't mean you have to have the same nor did I state or imply
that. Your "me" self gives way to a collective self in times of
crisis. You label yourself as American or whatever group you
maintain a sense of loyalty to. When it's called upon, believe me,
your "me" yields to the collective "we." It's a big part of our
power sense to survive as a species or establishment(read
nation.).

[K I subscribe to a variety of Deaf publications and magazines not
only to learn more about the Deaf culture, but also to benefit from
the information to make my life easier. For instance, information
about TDDs, relay services, experiences of other deaf people to
show that I'm not alone in experiencing certain things.  For the
same reason,  I joined SHHH to make my life better and more
meaningful.

Nothing wrong with this either. I joined the National Space Society
and the Planetary Society for the same reason.

[K There are many things that could be said or
expressed, but writing this has lifted some of the load off my chest.

I'm glad it did lift a load off your chest, though I didn't write
my post for that purpose. I'm also glad you took the time to
express your position on the areas we are discussing. I appreciate
it.

[K The bottom line is, I'm not a hearing person and will never be
able to do many things  most hearing people enjoy,and I will not be
able to participate fully in their conversations and gatherings.
But, at the same time, I'm not a 'Deaf' person and won't be able to
participate fully in  [the Deaf world unless I learn sign language
and other cultural things.  I'm in between, and the idea of the
Deaf culture to be exclusive' is NOT a wise course to be pursued!

Let's get one thing clear. Being a part of the Deaf Culture IS NOT
TO BE EXCLUSIVE. People who are not a part of it somehow seem to
think their isolation from US grants them authority to define us.
That is an assumption akin to a foreign nation telling Americans
how to vote. We'd raise six kinds of Hades if someone did that.
Despite the fact that our government doe sthat very thing to other
countries. No less so do Deaf people bristle at outsiders thinking
they have authority to define us. We are not exclusive. I have
attended many Deaf Clubs and I always see hearies there. Many are
people who are relatives, yes. But may are also visitors who just
want to learn about the Deaf. We get exclusive only when some
audismistic person shows up and commences to belittle us. If a
person goes about insulting anyone's culture then that culture
group gets hot about it and rightly so. You're disrespecting them
and their way of life. How'd like them to do that to you? Always
such people come telling us or others what we can't do or how
pitiful and isolated we are and so on. We let these people know the
directions to the Satanic Kingdom and be done with them. We neither
want nor need them around us.
I don't think you fit this category. However,
you are assuming a bit much by claiming that being a part of Deaf
Culture means being exclusive. That's false.

[K I'm trying to meet everyone halfway, both hearing, Deaf and
deaf,and the desire of some 'Deaf' people to be exclusive does not
make things easier.

Meeting people half-way is the name of the game in mutual RESPECT
and cooperation. No one, and I mean no one, can ask for anything
more.  When you restate your position to say that "some" Deaf
people are exclusive, that's better. Every group has its eccentrics
and its bigots, but they do not reflect the attitudes of the group
entire. That's what some people insist on ignoring utterly when it
comes to minorities, women,and the Deaf.

[K Enough for now...I said too much!

No you didn't. You handled this the way disagreeing people on STE
SHOULD handle disagreements. You gave a sensible stating of your
position without INTENTIONAL put downs. That encourages me to keep
believing in my philosophy that people can disagree to all Hades
and gone and still be friends. Thank you for reinforcing my faith
in this outlook. I hope you post more.

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