HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: alt.bbs,alt.bbs.allsysop,alt.bbs.uupcb,comp.bbs.misc,us.legal
Subject: Nintendo v. Bulletin Boards ?
From: jim.wenzel@grapevine.lrk.ar.us (Jim Wenzel) 
Date: 12 Nov 92 10:32:00 GMT
Reply-To: jim.wenzel@grapevine.lrk.ar.us (Jim Wenzel) 
Distribution: world
Organization: The GrapeVine BBS *** N. Little Rock, AR *** (501) 753-8121



Douglas Voss * I recently received  the following Nintendo  news release
               from Arter & Hadden of Washington, DC.
                                 = = =

   As did all PCBoard owners.

Douglas Voss * It is unclear to me how they got my name. I assume it was
               most likely  the fact that I  am a registered owner  of a
               copy of PCBoard.
                                 = = =

   That is  correct. Fred Clark  posted on another  network that it  was
   obtained under false  pretenses and he apologizes on  behalf of Clark
   Development. They have  retrieved the mailing list as  well. You will
   be  getting another  letter from  Arter &  Hadden soon explaining the
   matter as well.

   In addition,  if you wish  to be removed  from this mailing  list Mr.
   Clark stated that you should contact them.

*  Jim Wenzel,  SysOp,  The GrapeVine BBS,  (501) 753-8121  5.6 gigs  *
*  RIME, Use-Net, ForthNet, SmartNet, MetroLink, Intelec , RecoverNet *
*  ThrobNet and MediaNet message echos.  Large IBM, Amiga, Adult and  *
*  Programming file areas. PGP 2.0 public key available upon request  *

---
 * SM 1.06 A0059 * Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffic
                                                                             
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
From: woodc@jacobs.CS.ORST.EDU (Major Havok)
Subject: TBBS info?
Organization: Computer Science Outreach Services - Oregon State University
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 22:18:35 GMT

  Can anyone tell me anything about the TBBS software?  How can I get ahold of
the company/people who produce the software?  Does anyone out there use TBBS?

-- 
+---------------------------+----------------------------------------------+
| Chris Wood                |  "If you can't convince them, confuse them." |
| woodc@jacobs.cs.orst.edu  |                                   -unknown   |
+---------------------------+----------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
From: cblaise@moose.uvm.edu.UUCP (Chris Blaise)
Subject: Re: Bad service BBS's
Originator: cblaise@moose.uvm.edu
Organization: University of Vermont -- Division of EMBA Computer Facility
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 20:02:32 GMT

From article <1992Nov9.001823.13138@eskimo.celestial.com>, by nanook@eskimo.celestial.com (Robert Dinse):
>      I hope that users will bother to look for the groups I mentioned on your
> system and see just how much of a lie it is, because they will find them
> missing.  But they won't find them missing from Eskimo North, which doesn't
> choose to get it's news from a site that censors what it carries.
> 

	Or at least know what they're paying for is not the full usenet
complement.  I'll play devils advocate here.  On the operator's side, I
can completely see the argument for not carrying the alt.binaries.*
hierarcy because of resource restrictions.  On user's side, if these
systems are claiming a full Usenet hierarchy and they don't have (say)
the alt.binaries.* groups, it seems that they're being entirely misleading
to their customers and in my mind bordering on fraud if they don't at
least tell them before the send their money in that they can't/won't get
certain newsgroups based on resources or "system rules" (It's their
system.  If they explictly say that don't want alt.tasteless because
either it doesn't fit in with the theme of the BBS or are simply so
offended by it that they REFUSE to carry it, it's a postion I fully support.)

 TTYL
 Chris
From: tom@spud.kludge.com (Tom Lemos)
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
Subject: Re: TBBS info?
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 92 21:51:55 PST
Organization: T.T.L.F.  San Francisco, CA

rob@skylinx.sa.com (Rob Cartaino) writes:

> woodc@jacobs.CS.ORST.EDU (Major Havok) writes:
> > 
> >   Can anyone tell me anything about the TBBS software?  How can I get ahold
> > the company/people who produce the software?  Does anyone out there use TBB
> > 
> 
> You are talking to an EXTREMELY happy TBBS customer.  If requested, I
> can post a detailed list of TBBS features but I don't have them handy
> at the moment.  TBBS comes in 2, 16, 32, and 64 user versions and when
> they say 64 simultaneous users they MEAN 64 simultaneous user all
> doing high speed transfers or anything else in the system without any
> significant slowdown ON ONE CPU.  You don't need a room full of
> computers.

If you want to check out a 30 line TBBS ... call SF NET Coffee House Network
at 415-824-8747. It's up and humming... and it's not your ordinary TBBS board.
We offer local terminals in various cafes and coffee houses throughout SF and
the greater Bay Area...


Tom@spud.kludge.COM                             Tater Tot Liberation Front
"People should be taught what is, not what should be."    San Francisco,CA
                                         -Lenny Bruce      +1.415.255.8340
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
From: multics@clotho.acm.rpi.edu (Multics)
Subject: Re: Free Internet/Usenet Access (was Re: Modem Madness)
Organization: The Voice of Fate
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 14:32:23 GMT


I've been doing some pricing to see about setting up a public access internet
site in the Albany, NY (USA) area.  The following are the basic costs I've
been quoted:

56K internet connection  $2000 setup + $1000/month
56K line to the provider  $1000 installation + $350/month
Phone lines for dialin (16) about $100/line installation and $30/line/month
with a deposit of about $1000-$1200 required.  ($1600 install and $480/month).
Router and DSU/CSU unit  about $5000.

These are from memory and should be within about 10% of actual numbers.

This gives an installation cost of almost $11,000 and a monthly operation
cost of about $1830/month.

NOTE:  this does not include the computer at my end, power, air conditioning,
maintenance, and other misc expenses, such as postage and billing supplies.
The internet access includes a full news feed and email with no volume 
related charges.
I've tried to include estimates to cover the various sales, use, etc taxes
I'd have to pay.
There is no budgetting in this for any pay for me or anyone else, its all
to cover setup and operating costs.

My best estimate is I would need about 125-150 customers willing to pay
$15 to $20 per month to cover operating expenses and setup costs spread
over a 5 year period.
From: shan@cray.com (Sharan Kalwani)
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
Subject: looking for BBS inthe 313 area code
Date: 11 Nov 92 21:50:40 GMT
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.

would some kind soul please e-mail me the 313 are code list of BBS? 
Thanks in advance!

-- 
Sharan Kalwani, cri, 2000 town center suite 2350, southfield mi 48075 
phone:    (313) 576-3948				(313) 335-5580
internet: shan@cray.com 		uucp:  ...!uunet!cray.com!shan
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
From: P0022@vmcms.csuohio.edu (Chuck Newton)
Subject: Phone Disc USA - access to
Organization: CSU
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 13:18:19 GMT

   Does anyone know of a BBS that has the Phone Disc, USA CD set running.
 It is a phone directory on CD and it has all business and person's
 names, address, and phone numbers. I'm looking in the 216 area code
 if any area code in the USA if fine or any internet system.
 
 Chuck
From: meh0570@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
Subject: bbs in austin TX??
Date: 10 Nov 92 22:52:14 GMT
Reply-To: meh0570@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
Organization: Rochester Institute of Technology


Im moving to austin TX in a few weeks

Anyone got a bbs list for the area  512 area code

Internet access would be nice, and free is even better

(Yeah dream on...)

please respond via e mail

Many thanks

JC
		
			MEH0570@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
			engineering student
			professional daydreamer
			aspiring mad sciencist
			and bad speller.
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
From: ajt@oregon.uoregon.edu (Anthony Tilke)
Subject: test - please ignore
Organization: University of Oregon
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 22:06:12 GMT

This is a test, please ignore
Newsgroups: alt.bbs,alt.bbs.internet,alt.bbs.unixbbs
From: fng@fraser.sfu.ca (Fung Yee Selinia Ng)
Subject: Info needed. URGENT!
Keywords: friendships
Organization: Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C., Canada
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 22:41:11 GMT

Hi, there.  I don't know if this is the right place to post it, but we
are doing a group project on computer mediated communication and we
need some help from you.  Could you please LIST THREE (or more)
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ONLINE FRIENDSHIPS AND OFFLINE FRIENDSHIPS?

We are looking forward to hearing from your responses.

Responses please send to fng@sfu.ca

Super thanks.
From: Robert.Presland@f101.n101.z101.fidonet.org (Robert Presland)
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
Subject: FIDO CONNECTIONS
Date: 5 Nov 92 23:50:11 GMT


 > From: larry@gator.rn.com (Larry Snyder)

 > neta@iat.holonet.net (Gregory Giagnocavo) writes:

 >>To get connected  to FidoNEt, you shoulld go through a fido board that is

 > Get connected to FidoNet to use internet email?

 > Sounds rather backwards to me.

Well, I'm from Fido first and foremost, but I enjoy most of what Internet has
to offer (I have all but ftp access from work).  I just recently added news to
my fido-style BBS and find that many users find it enjoyable, but on to the
point...

As someone else has pointed out, Internet access is offer costly and
restricted.  Fido is free.

I imagine in a few years there will be little problems in going from one to the
other to a thrid etc, all the while each maintaining a distinct profile for
each.

---
 * Origin: University Network Support Node (101:101/101)
Newsgroups: alt.bbs
From: larry@gator.rn.com (Larry Snyder)
Subject: Re: PCBoard
Organization: The Gator Conferencing System 219-289-3745 
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 23:30:37 GMT

ac964@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Bruce Kratofil) writes:


>I don't know if there is a demo version of PCBoard available.
>Here are the phone numbers for Clark Development Co.

What ever became of their UNIX release of PCB?


-- 
Larry Snyder                                    internet: larry@gator.rn.com
keeper of the Gator                                  uucp: uunet!gator!larry
Newsgroups: alt.best.of.internet,talk.bizarre
From: mike@elec.canterbury.ac.nz (Cosmik Debris)
Subject: Re: Earth gains a retinue of Mini-Asteroids
Organization: Electrical Engineering, University of Canterbury, New Zealand
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 02:23:10 GMT

This was in alt.sci.physics.new-theories

In article <1992Nov6.042829.3399@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU>, hwong@euler.Berkeley.EDU (Harris Wong) writes:
> Hi,
> 	Where is the boundary of the universe? Is this a meaningful question
> to ask? 
> 	Any comment?
> Harris
> 
> 
> Harris Wong	201 Gilman Hall, Dept. Chem. Eng.
> 510-6420853	U.C.Berkeley, Berkeley, CA94720

-- 
Cosmik Debris --- "I owe money, therefore I am!"
Newsgroups: alt.fan.jimmy-buffet
From: dbn7350@zeus.tamu.edu (NASH, DAVID BENNETT III)
Subject: What the Hell!!
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Texas A&M University, Academic Computing Services
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 02:20:00 GMT


Jimmy Buffet is the greatest party music around...

	Let's take a poll on...
			1) best JB drinking song
			2) best JB album in general (not best hits)
			3) best song to make love to...:}

reply by e-mail...
will post the results

dbn3.

-- one of the best star pilots in the galaxy.\dbn7350@zeus.tamu.edu
-- an enemy of the Ronald Reagan Republicans.\Texas A&M Biochemistry Undergrad.
-- let's get this show on the road. . .\I pay TAMU - I do not speak for them.
<EOF>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.jimmy-buffet
From: wanderer@camelot.bradley.edu (Kevin Murphy)
Subject: Is this group still active?
Organization: Bradley University
Date:  5 Nov 92 00:29:18 GMT


Well, is it?
.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: a.f.m-p FAQ
From: phygod72@nic.gac.edu (Phil )
Date: 5 Nov 92 10:04:20 -0600

} > Question 14b	Bouncy, bouncy?
} 	-----PLaying ball?

Nope.  Pocket pool.

Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (CHESTNUTT)
Subject: Re: Election Results Part #1
Originator: kchestn@c00475-224wi.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 1992 20:46:03 GMT


In article <BxGpps.w7@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>, jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
|> Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
|> Path: taco!rock!stanford.edu!agate!spool.mu.edu!news.nd.edu!mentor.cc.purdue.edu!sage.cc.purdue.edu!jester
|> From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
|> Subject: Re: Election Results Part #1
|> Message-ID: <BxGpps.w7@mentor.cc.purdue.edu>
|> Sender: news@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (USENET News)
|> Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
|> References: >
|> Date: Mon, 9 Nov 92 13:51:27 EST
|> Lines: 21
|> 
|> goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
|> >jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:
|> >>>Congrats to the non-entity winner and he/she/its
|> >>>big busted VP.
|> >>So the prize *does* go to the girl with the biggest tits?
|> >Now Jester. You don't really think that's _all_ I've got, do you?
|> >After all, I'm very talented. In many areas. Try me if oyu don't
|> >believe me.
|> 
|> well...what would my girlfriend say...hm......
|> i mean...what could you do for me that she already can't??
|> hm..eh?? hmm...eh??
|> 
|> Jester aka back from the snow tipped mountains of colorado
|> 
|> 
|> -- 
|> Join the Omnipotent Overlords of the Omniverse today. Add to intelligent    	
|> political, environmental, and social discussions. Buck the growing trend of 
|> apathy in the world today, and most importantly have some well earned fun.  
|> Read all about us on alt.overlords or e-mail : jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu    
|> 
Jester,
nice to have you back.  I need help.  I,m here in the booth, well part of the
time, judging the sleeze contest.  I really have my hands full julgling
these, er, um, women.  And a lovly pair, er, group of women have joined in.
The two front runners are Gina and Leather with honerably mention to lots of
others.  

chestnutt aka its so nice to have a penis
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jsarna@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: DINSDALE????
Organization: Clark University
Date: 12 NOV 92 01:03:39 GMT



.
From: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (CHESTNUTT)
Subject: Re: Election Results Part #1
Originator: kchestn@c00404-346dan.eos.ncsu.edu
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 14:53:32 GMT


In article <sprooney.721376135@unix1.tcd.ie>, sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney) writes:
|> Path: taco!rock!concert!rutgers!jvnc.net!yale.edu!spool.mu.edu!agate!doc.ic.ac.uk!uknet!ieunet!tcdcs!unix1.tcd.ie!sprooney
|> From: sprooney@unix1.tcd.ie (Simon Rooney)
|> Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
|> Subject: Re: Election Results Part #1
|> Message-ID: <sprooney.721376135@unix1.tcd.ie>
|> Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 01:15:35 EST
|> References: <6NOV199221410575@venus.tamu.edu> <1992Nov9.101724.2199@gacvx2.gac.edu>
|> Sender: usenet@cs.tcd.ie (NN required at ashe.cs.tcd.ie)
|> Organization: Room 12, Wicked Wanda's Whip Cellar, Dublin
|> Lines: 22
|> Nntp-Posting-Host: unix1.tcd.ie
|> 
|> 
|> OK... Just to shut peeps up, I've non-consulted with the
|> anti-president of this group, and it's nothingness didn't say
|> anything.
|> 
|> Wot you say we're all joint pres?
|> 
|> (With Leather, Gina, lisa etc. as groupies 8:)... ie. they have all
|> the control over us.)
|> 
|> Actually, FUCK IT!
|> 
|> None of the above sez He wants OISmn to be pres...
|> I say You should all just throw loadsa parties, drink too much, and
|> forget this whole thing ever happened *:)
|> 
|> Do I have a second?
|> 
|> oiSNmn... LETS PARTEEEEE  
|> 
|> (PS. Anyone in Belfast able to give me a bed to sleep on this
|> weekend *:) )
|> 
I second the motion.  I got a couple of bottles of Old Bushmills (every should
be bowing at such an icon) Anyone else up for a chemical labotomy

chestnutt aka I need a drinking partner 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester)
Subject: Jester For Sale!!!!!!!!!!! Auctioning of Jester
Keywords: expensive.........
Organization: Purdue University
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 22:33:13 GMT

Yep you heard it right..I'm for sale...

So post your offers for my body, soul, sex, nifty costume
and whatever else you want to buy from/off/of mine

Court Jester aka wow, I'm full of ideas.....
-- 
Join the Omnipotent Overlords of the Omniverse today. Add to intelligent    	
political, environmental, and social discussions. Buck the growing trend of 
apathy in the world today, and most importantly have some well earned fun.  
Read all about us on alt.overlords or e-mail : jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu    
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: blum@medici.ils.nwu.edu (Dan Blum)
Subject: Re: Jester For Sale--bidder #1
Reply-To: blum@ils.nwu.edu
Organization: The Institute for the Learning Sciences
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Sat, 14 Nov 1992 03:27:25 GMT

I already bid for his soul, and I think that the blow on the head and
the fresh fruit is worth more than what you've got to offer.  I could
be wrong on that though, not having seen it (what you've got to offer,
that is (is cheesy innuendo off-limits now? (of course, somebody ought
to do something about parenthetical comments as well - I never could
stand them myself))).

As for Eccles or whoever it was who gave his soul to Jester - I've got
a good shot at yours already from what I hear, so I can't offer any
more than two bob.  Oh, and a desert boot.  And I get to take your
soul out of the drawer on St. Mungo's AND St. Swithin's Day.

As long as I'm bidding I'd like to know what Jester wants for his
naughty bits.  Incubus is coming over for dinner next Thursday and I
need a nice centerpiece.

Tool of Satan (Souls assessed WHILE-U-WAIT)
From: daniel@acpub.duke.edu (Daniel Crawford)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: I AM SO SICK OF THIS!!!
Date: 8 Nov 92 22:56:39 GMT
Organization: Duke University; Durham, N.C.

In article <1992Nov7.123603.3774@wkuvx1.bitnet> goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
>In article <6777@news.duke.edu>, daniel@acpub.duke.edu (Daniel Crawford) writes:
>> YOU want to complain, look at these shoes, I've only had 'em three weeks
>> and the heels are worn right through.... And I'm tired, and my back
>> hurts, and I'm sick and tired of this newsgroup....
G:
G:What's wrong with
G:my newsgroup? Talk to me; I'll be *VERY* good to you  
G:wink,wink,nudge,nudge. After all, that's why I'm here. Right?
G:
G:		Gina aka VP of the newsgroup, thank you very much

Look, are you _insinuating_ something??

Better, better, but put your hand here and go WAAAAHH!!

T. Daniel Crawford
Center for Computational Quantum Chemistry
University of Georgia
Athens, GA 30602
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (CHESTNUTT)
Subject: talant spotting
Originator: kchestn@c00810-247dan.eos.ncsu.edu
Keywords: sing
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (CHESTNUTT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 17:03:51 GMT


I've got two legs from my hips to the ground and
when i mov'em they walk around and
when i lift'em they climb the stair and
when i shave'em they ain't got hair  <blam>

<Thud>

chestnutt aka starting a new thread....more or less
From: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: A WARNING!!!!
Date: 13 Nov 92 16:19:00 GMT
Reply-To: kchestn@eos.ncsu.edu (KENNETH CHESTNUTT)
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Originator: kchestn@c00808-247dan.eos.ncsu.edu


In article <1du3grINN5m@clover.csv.warwick.ac.uk>, maujs@csv.warwick.ac.uk (Mr J D Morris) writes:
|> Path: taco!rock!stanford.edu!agate!doc.ic.ac.uk!mrccrc!warwick!warwick!not-for-mail
|> From: maujs@csv.warwick.ac.uk (Mr J D Morris)
|> Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
|> Subject: A WARNING!!!!
|> Date: 12 Nov 1992 17:16:11 -0000
|> Organization: Computing Services, University of Warwick, UK
|> Lines: 5
|> Message-ID: <1du3grINN5m@clover.csv.warwick.ac.uk>
|> NNTP-Posting-Host: clover.csv.warwick.ac.uk
|> 
|> 	WATCH OUT - THERE ARE LLAMAS!!!!
|> 
|> 
|> 
|> 
|> 
Llamas are larger than frogs.

chestnutt aka marlin perkins
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: ins450m@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (T.F. Eccles)
Subject: Re: 100 SNUGGLEBUNNIES on the rampage!!!!!!!!
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1992 06:36:11 GMT

jester@sage.cc.purdue.edu (Jester) writes:


>Snugglebunnies*100

Silly jester person has learnt to use cut&paste. Nice to see he
has a new toy.

Eccles  aka Wbbl
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
From: ins450m@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (T.F. Eccles)
Subject: Re: Chemistry (was Re: physics humor)
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 01:13:07 GMT

goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:

>In article <1992Nov2.105206.12246@aber.ac.uk>, aep@aber.ac.uk (Andrew Pagett) writes:
>> 
>> 	In article <1992Oct29.150257.19288@DIALix.oz.au> 
>> 	meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma) did say :
>> 
>> [a little bit thrown mercilessly into a vat of boiling lemon curry]
[stirred up with a sprig of parsely of course]

>> ->[lots and lots of stuff dissolved in a highly toxic solution comprising lemon
>> -> curry, bits of a comfy chair and a Spring Surprise.]
>> ->
>> Wow, what a lethal mixture, sounds like the sort of stuff that you
>> could definitely use as the `universal solvent'
>> 
>> But then what do I know about chemistry ????

i know lots. Do _not_ keep an open flame near pure hydrogen
and oxygen -> leads to no eyebrowss.
>> 
>> ->>So how do you define Gina?
>> ->
>> Meetch aka an unknown quantity.
>> Pag aka well OK, but surely there should be a range in which it lies :)

>Sure, I lie within a range. CAn you find me? 
You up a mountain?
>> 
>> PS, maybe this ought to go to sci.chemisty :)

>NOW WAIT A MINUTE !!!!!
>I'd like to see what you know about interrelational chemistry, as in
>between males and females. As in between you and me. YOu know, body
>chemistry.

> 
> 			 WORKPLACE
> 
> 		    HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS
> 
> 		    INFORMATION  SYSTEM
> 
> 		MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
> 		--------------------------
> 
> 		WOMAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
> 
> 
> 
>     ELEMENT:	Woman
>      SYMBOL:	WO2
>  DISCOVERER:	Adam
> ATOMIC MASS:	Accepted at 55 kg but been known to vary from 40 to 240 kg.
>  OCCURRENCE:	Copious quantities in all urban areas
> 
> 
> PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
> -------------------
> 1.  Surface usually covered with a painted film.
> 2.  Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
> 3.  Melts if given special treatment.
> 4.  Bitter if incorrectly used.
> 5.  Found in various states ranging from virgin to common ore.
> 
> 
> CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
> -------------------
> 1.  Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
> 2.  Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
> 3.  May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
> 4.  Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in 
>     alcohol.
> 5.  Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
> 
> 
> COMMON USES
> -----------
> 1.  Highly ornamental, especially in sports car.
> 2.  Can be a great aid to relaxation.
> 
> 
> TESTS
> -----
> 1.  Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
> 2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
> 
> 
> HAZARDS
> -------
> 1.  Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
> 2.  Illegal to posess more than one.
> 3.  If commonly used for relaxation may produce ankle biters.
> 
> 


						Griffin.
						  _____)
					       <-' (aka James)