From: pwg@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Paul Goldberg)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Sod The Public
Date: 13 Apr 92 16:58:28 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, University of Edinburgh

In two recent articles ,!Al has peeved about a couple of topics,
which, despite being superficially unrelated, can in fact both be
placed in a broader context where they are seen to be symptoms of the
same malaise.

In article <31431@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk>, Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al
Crawford) writes:
>
> For no particular reason, the bogrolls (and their dispensers) in the gents
> toilets nearest my office have been replaced by something called a "Cresta
> Toilet Tissue System". This is characterised by a) a stupid name (no doubt
> the cleaner must now be referred to as a Cresta Toilet Tissue System Tissue
> Replacement Technician" rather than as "the woman who puts new loo-rolls
> in") and b) an equally stupid design.
      [details, and excellent ascii graphics deleted for brevity]

      [...]
> The other peeve is that this thing is *complex*. In the past there were
      [...]
> open the bloody thing and only a trained Cresta Toilet Tissue Systems
> Tissue Replacement Technician can get at the rolls and replace them.

Hold that thought.

Now, about five years ago I read an excellent article in a magazine,
which was either The Listener or The Spectator. It concerned the "Sod
The Public" (STP) syndrome which was (and is) spreading over Britain's
large companies and institutions. It refers to the phenomenon of an
institution implementing an apparantly gratuitous change which will
adversely affect many people in some small way, without consulting the
public, in part because such a change is in fact highly unpopular with
the public, usually for good reasons. The article gave about a dozen
examples illustrating this process in action. I cannot remember any of
them, but this doesn't matter since so many new examples are
constantly forced on our attention. (The best one to date is surely
British Telecom's replacement of about 95% of the beautiful Gilbert
Scott red telephone boxes with ugly modern ones. More locally, we have
Edinburgh University's futile "Corporate Identity" logo, which cost
about L50,000 to design, forced down our throats.)

STP is mainly a penny-pinching philosophy. The change is wrought to
save the institution concerned a small amount of money at the expense
of unpopularity and widespread minor inconvenience. However there is
another important tenet of this philosophy, one that is more sinister.
This is the desire on the part of the institution perpetrating the
offence to cultivate public dependence on its employees or those of
associated establishments. In the case of !Al's example cited above,
this is what is chiefly in evidence.

The aim of replacing the conventional bogroll dispenser with the
modern gadget is to make it impossible for users to move toilet paper
from one cubicle to another. Such a capacity would, you see, lead to
them having some kind of power over the system. Furthermore, users
would be able to (shock! horror!) replenish the supply under their own
initiative. As a result, we now have a system whereby a cubicle can
become unusable until such time as a Replacement Technician sees fit
to restore an exhausted supply, and worse, a user may fail to identify
an empty dispenser until he reaches the point in his mission when
usage is indicated. Moreover, as has been pointed out in this forum
already, these gadgets are liable to malfunction.

Another example of the drive to cultivate dependence is the demise of
the 2CV. This classic car had such a simple design that anyone brought
up on Meccano (or some similar mechanical toy) could carry out
non-routine maintenance operations such as replacing a door. A couple
of years ago Citroen stopped manufacturing this model, despite the
fact that it was still profitable, and now, like all the other car
manufacturers, seek to cultivate our dependence on overpriced garages.

Consider !Al's other peeve.

In article <31551@skye.dcs.ed.ac.uk>, Not_Al_Crawford@ed.ac.uk (Not Al
Crawford) writes:

> ObBusPeeve: Today it's a local holiday in Edinburgh. Since next week has
> the various Easter holidays in it, a lot of places aren't taking the day
> off. I'd guess that somewhere between 60 and 70% of the workforce are still
> at work. So *why* did the bus companies decide that a Sunday service (i.e.
> one bus an hour if you're lucky) would be sufficient at rush hour? I've
> never seen queues like the queues I saw this morning in my *life*.

That's STP from Lothian Regional Transport. Granted that this
feckless, self-serving organisation hardly needs the postulation of a
hidden agenda to explain its manifold deficiencies, but a fairly
convincing one comes to mind. This is that it exists to humiliate
those citizens who for one reason or another don't use a car. Now,
when I were a boy, admittedly in a different city from this one, buses
had conductors. This enabled passengers to get on the bus in civilised
manner without fumbling for change, and sped up the service. More than
10 years ago, I saw a conductor providing change for a 20 pound note,
while these days no change is given. Because this process smacked too
much of civilisation and threatened to bolster the self-esteem of
bus travellers, it was abandoned. Buses today *aim* to cater to the
losers of society who can't use a car, which is why at least 90% of
bus travellers wouldn't be the sort you would like to see in charge of
a car, being either:
  a.) drunk
  b.) too old to drive competantly
  c.) too young to drive legally
  d.) dogs
  e.) people who have lost their temper
  f.) former inmates of mental hospitals closed down under the Tories
The bus driver usually falls into at least one of these categories. An
obvious conspiracy with the supporters of the "great car economy" (M.
Thatcher). Which does not these days include the 2CV.

yours peevishly,
Paul.

"All candidates of the Natural Law Party have demonstrated greater
orderliness of brain functioning, as indicated by increased
EEG-coherence, and greater command of Natural Law indicated by their
improved mind-body co-ordination in their achievement of Yogic Flying.
We recommend that the voters of each constituency demand comparative
brain functioning analysis from the candidates of other parties."
  - from the manifesto of the Natural Law Party, April 1992