From: pmm7@ellis.uchicago.edu (peggy boucher murphy (you had to ask?))
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Coming out to teachers...
Date: 9 Apr 92 15:39:14 GMT
Reply-To: pmm7@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations

In article <1992Apr6.010303.24382@polari.com> elf@polari.com writes:
>
>>In article <1992Apr3.011356.21929@polari.com> elf@polari.com writes:
>>>   One of my greatest fears is that I am a stereotype.  It doesn't help that
>>>(1) I am a practicing sadomasochist, and just as I'd like to discuss my
>>>homosexual behavior and my community, I'd like to discuss my s/m as
>>>well, and (2) I do have concurrent lovers of both sexes.  

and just what are you a steroetype *of*, elf?  you transcend 
stereotypes!  with a little (or more) of many stereotypes in
one neat package.  such a deal your class is getting.  remember, 
the factthat you only do "1 on 1" and not orgies blows at least
one stereotype to smithereens.  

>   As y'all may have guess, I am not a quiet person.  Not on the net,
>and not in real life.  I worry that I'm the ONLY bisexual in the class
>(Class of 35... 10%... 3.5, so 3 or 4 queer people, but queer HOW?).  I
>DEFINITELY worry that I'm the only s/m'er in the class.

maybe the only one seriously into the scene.  but how about light
bondage?  couples who restrain one or the other, or those who have
fantasized about it?  i'll bet you aren't entirely alone here, 
either.  ;)  

>A few examples from the textbook:
>
>[ From "Homosexuality" (cp 17) ]
>     Some people have a mixture of both homosexual and heterosexual
>     tendecies, so they are bisexual.  Generally, bisexuals would rate
>     from 2 to 4 on Kinsey's scale.  Some bisexuals apparently live a
>     typical heterosexual life with their mates and children, yet enjoy
>     homosexual sex on the side in such places as "tearooms" (public
>     restrooms).
>
>[ That's the FIRST mention of bisexuality in the book.  Not a great
>  first impression, huh?  It suggests that _I_, who has a committed
>  motos mate, fit this description. ]

ACK!  this is *awful*!  certainly would make someone* think twice
before getting involved with one of us!    *someone=monosexual  

>[ Anybody also notice the complete failure to mention women?  Somebody
>  go call Karen and Ailsa... the stealth lesbian is joined by the
>  stealth bisexual woman! ]

actually, it's stealth lesbians, and star wars bisexual women.  you
know, don't really exist, and most people think they never will.  :-/

>     As Kinsey and other researchers have suggested, there are a number
>     of people who are neither exclusively heterosexual or homosexual.
>     They are bisexual, sometimes called "AC/DC" (a term used to describe
>     two types of electical current) or "switch hitters."

oh, ick.  

>     Some bisexuals are men and women who have been exclusively
>     heterosexual before they tried gay sex and found they liked it.  For
>     some, homosexual experiences may have been situational (when away
>     from home, for example).  Some say that they have always had
>     homosexual urges as well as heterosexal ones, so they decided to try
>     it out.  Other bisexuals come from a homosexual life, but want to
>     try out heterosexual sex to see what it is like.  

this is most annoying.  talk about your stereotypes!  i wonder what 
this textbook author would make of all of us who aren't men and don't
fit any of these definitions...

>     People with
>     liberal viewpoints feel that it does not make any difference.  One
>     man remarked:
>          Young or old, male or female, it doesn't matter.  We ought to
>          feel free to have sex with anyone.
>
>[ Sigh.  "Have sex with."  What the FUCK ever happened to love?

really.  sigh.  as a bisexual i am capable of/have fallen in love with
*individuals* of both genders.  

>  Personally, I find the author picking THIS quote out really offensive.
>  Yes, we ought to feel free to have sex with the person of our choice.
>  But I think it more important that we emphasize, as I like to say, that
>  we should feel free to love whomever we wish without regards to the
>  accident of birth known as _gender_. ]

yup.  

>[ And what's this "liberal viewpoint" bullshit?  I don't think I'm
>  liberal... am I? ]

does this perhaps refer to "political bisexuals"?  those who feel we 
all should be bisexuals?  i dunno.  i keep hearing about these people,
but i don't think i know any of them.  and that certainly doesn't 
describe *me*!

>     Most frequently, bisexuals have concurrent heterosexual and
>     homosexual relationships, such as the lesbian who lives with her
>     lover but regularily visits her boyfriend at his apartment to have
>     sex with him.

>[ Most frequently?  Is this true?  Gads, what an example, though...
>  the quote suggests she's "cheating" on her mate.  And don't she
>  and her boyfriend ever go to the movies together? ]

most frequently?  wow, did you hear that gang?  we all most frequently 
have concurrent homo/heterosexual relationships!  pretty wild.  i have
done that, but found it *extremely* difficult, and am not doing it 
now.  this book is full of stereotypes.  

>[ And finally, from the glossary: ]
>
>     Bisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to both males and
>     females.

at least *this* is accurate.  as far as  it goes.  

>(Sigh).  I'm posting another set of major objections
>on this book to alt.sex.bondage, so I can bring up the discussion there.
>At this point I'm basically assembling my war chest, so I can argue my
>standpoint, my legitimacy, to the classroom.  Coming out _is_
>empowering, but it's also frightening.

so true.  (i can't wait to read what the asbers make of this!  tee 
hee hee...)  good luck.  with a text book like this, you have things
decidedly stacked against you.  maybe _bi_any_other_name_ could be 
brought to class, or better yet, assigned as reading?  

good luck!
peg