HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: doehr@magellan.den.mmc.com (Brett B. Doehr)
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Organization: Martin Marietta Astronautics Group
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 21:00:35 GMT

In article <1992Nov19.172423.1866@vela.acs.oakland.edu>, alrobins@vela.acs.oakland.edu (alrobins) writes:
|> 

-- 

Obviously, you are referring to the song "Sounds of Silence" by
Simon & Garfunkel.  I always sort of liked it, myself.  8-)}

---------------------------------------------------------------
| Brett B. Doehr           Martin Marietta Astronautics Group |
| Voice: +1-303-977-1504   P.O. Box 179  Denver, CO 80201 USA |
| Fax:   +1-303-977-1530          Internet: doehr@den.mmc.com |
|    "What's wrong?!  I'm used to being the weirdest guy in   |
|     the room, and suddenly I'm not even in the running!"    |
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: jmatthews@uswat.advtech.uswest.com
Subject: Re:  Worst Song and Lyrics
Organization: U S WEST Advanced Technologies
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 16:36:38 GMT

>In general I would nominate anything from the Disco era,
>but how about that song Superfreak?

Gee, I don't know about that...  that song is a disco "classic".  Plus, it was
remade by MC Hammer, and helped turn RAP, previously popular only in urban
areas into "mainstream".  Can we nominate something (even if it's bad) if it
has that kind of history?  It's kind of like "You Ain't Nothing But a Hound
Dog" - i think that song is horrible, but after all, Elvis is Elvis...  and
Rick James is to disco what Elvis is to Rock, in some people's opinion.

















--jaye
________________________________________________________________
The opinions expressed here may not even be mine... 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: entrpoop@access.digex.com (Dexter Medley)
Subject: Re: The Absolute Worst Song of All Time.
Organization: Express Access Online Communications, Greenbelt, Maryland USA
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 00:23:33 GMT

hilary@netwise.com (Hilary Lane) writes:

>>Ain't No Sunshine, which boasts this chorus:

>I sent this one in, too, only I didn't know the name of it, nor did I know
>the artist. Glad you knew (I just gave him the gist of the song, saying there
>were 47 "I know"s in the lyrics).

By Bill Withers, a very popular song covered by zillions of performers in
fields from folk to country to blues to jazz.  BTW, the passge you quoted
is just that, one passage - *not* a chorus. I would venture that it's
possible to find some people who don't like essentially any song you
can name, but IMHO it's pretty tough to lump "Ain't No Sunshine" in with
dreck like "My Boy Lollipop" by Millie Small, "The Function at the Junction"
by Shorty Long, and my personal favorite, "Running Bear" by Johnny Preston
(and I've been flagellating myself for decades over that one, 'cuz it's
the first record I ever bought, and I hated it!)

-- Larry


Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: isaacman@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov (Subvert the Dominant Paradigm! (301) 513-7769)
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.4-b1  
Organization: NASA/GSFC-Laboratory for Astronomy and Solar Physics
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 12:57:00 GMT

> 
>Another baddie was the old "I've got a brand new roller skate and you've got
>a brand new key." It included such lyrics as "I don't go very fast but I go
>pretty far." Again, it was done in a sickly sweet cutesy style, though I forget
>by who.
> 

It was done by "Melanie." (Remember her?  No?  Lucky you.)
From: sueba@pogo.wv.tek.com (Sue Bartlett)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: Sending a letter to Dave regarding exploding objects
Keywords: exploding animals
Date: 19 Nov 92 01:40:22 GMT
Reply-To: sueba@pogo.wv.tek.com
Followup-To: alt.fan.dave_barry
Distribution: usa
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Wilsonville,  OR.

In article <Nov17.172946.60122@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU> wallsj@CS.ColoState.EDU (jeffrey joel walls) writes:
>In article <mjenkins.722015858@cunews> mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson) writes:
>>I told Dave it would have been much funnier if his assistant had exploded.
>
> No, it would have been funnier if a giant weasel had exploded! <G>
>
No, it would have been much funnier if the wand had turned into and
animal and THEN exploded.  In his hand.

-Sue

-- 
--------------------------------------------
Sue Bartlett  (sueba@pogo.wv.tek.com)  503-685-3706
Tektronix, P.O. Box 1000, MS 63-356, Wilsonville, OR 97070
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson)
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 21:33:17 GMT

In <1992Nov20.162024.21088@gtech.com> lmf@gtech.com (Linda M. Easterbrooks) writes:


>No, has too many different words in the lyrics.  How about the one 
>'Na, na,na,na,na, na,na,na,na, na,na,na,na,na,na'

The Land of A Thousand Dances?

No way! Dave uses that song in his column all the time (wasn't it the
song the Rockbottom Remainders performed?)

I think he'd be insulted if we suggested it! :)

Michael
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: lmf@gtech.com (Linda M. Easterbrooks)
Subject: Re: worst song & lyrics
Organization: GTECH Corporation, West Greenwich, RI
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 16:20:24 GMT

In article <sf30H1W00iV006ToQ9@andrew.cmu.edu> Matthew A Kagle <mk52+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>Personally, I would vote for "Da doo doo doo, Da daa daa daa" by the Police.

No, has too many different words in the lyrics.  How about the one 
'Na, na,na,na,na, na,na,na,na, na,na,na,na,na,na'

(Is that a Ted Nugent song?)  
I am just amazed at the VARIETY in the lyrics!


-- 
lmf@soft.gtech.com          GTECH Corporation        ... But don't blame
                               55 Plan Way           GTECH for my thoughts,
Linda M. Easterbrooks    West Greenwich, RI 02817        (or lack of!)
From: libwca@emory.edu (Bill Anderson)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics
Date: 21 Nov 92 00:59:25 GMT
Organization: Emory University, Atlanta, GA
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3

libwca@emory.edu (Bill Anderson) writes:
: doubt, "Sometimes When We Touch", by Dan Hill.
: X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3
: 
: Bill  

Oops.  Screwed that up, somehow.  I meant to point out the
indisputable fact that the song listed above is, by far, the
worst song ever recorded.  Only "Run, Joey, Run" even comes close.

Bill
From: dlp5@po.CWRU.Edu (Daniel L. Price)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: Does anybody post DB-articles here?
Date: 22 Nov 1992 01:59:25 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: dlp5@po.CWRU.Edu (Daniel L. Price)
NNTP-Posting-Host: thor.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, larsa@colargol (larsa) says:

>
>Well, I am a Dave Barry fan, and joined this group because I don't know where to get Dave Barry articles... I got some on disk at home, and of course I want more...  Just name it and I will post the ones I have...  Well, where can I get articles written by Dave Barry? (I'm not living in USA... In Norway, so they are not published in magazines or papers...)  Any FTP-sites keeping them, or will I see some posted here???

  Do you get Clarinet News?  Barry is on clari.feature.dave_barry
If you don't et it, tell your sysadmin to subscribe to it.

  --Dan


---------------
  Claimer:  The above are not my opinions, they are policies of Case Western
Reserve University.  All complaints should be sent to President Agnar Pytte,
at dlp5@po.cwru.edu  (Of _course_ that's my account, do you think I'm dumb?)

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: cbaxter5@mach1.wlu.ca (colin baxter F)
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
Organization: Wilfrid Laurier University
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1992 05:17:42 GMT

>|> MacArthur Park, by someone waaay back (late 60's maybe?), and popularized
>|> 	by <cough> <gagh> Donna Summer. Who the heck would put a cake in
>|> 	the rain, anyway?
>|> 	My nominee for the most idiotic lyrics.
>
>Wasn't this popularized by Anne Murray?  And what _were_ the actual words
>to the aforementioned cake-in-the-rain

Someone left the cake out in the rain,
And I don't think that I can take it,
'cause it took so long to bake it,
and I'll never have that recipe again ........

Colin Baxter - Plattsville, Ontario, Canada!
From: dran@spectrx.saigon.com (Dran)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Larry King Show
Date: Sat, 14 Nov 92 19:46:22 PST
Organization: SPECTROX SYSTEMS (408)252-1005 Silicon Valley, Ca

        I missed the interview on the Larry King Show! (I was
out of town)  Did I miss anything really important?  Has he
announced yet that he's running for president?

--
dran@spectrx.saigon.com (Dran)
SPECTROX SYSTEMS +1.408.252.1005  Silicon Valley, Ca
From: libwca@emory.edu (Bill Anderson)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics
Date: 21 Nov 92 00:56:59 GMT
Organization: Emory University, Atlanta, GA

doubt, "Sometimes When We Touch", by Dan Hill.
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL3

Bill
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer)
Subject: Re: Dave on Larry King
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 18:54:42 GMT

In article <mjenkins.721748005@cunews> mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson) writes:
>In <1992Nov14.033539.27378@netcom.com> jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer) writes:
>
>
>>John Switzer               | "If you ask me, Larry, the Clinton Presidency
>>                           | has failed. What has he done? Nothing!"
>>CompuServe: 74076,1250     | --Dave Barry to Larry King, November 12, 1992
>>Internet: jrs@netcom.com   | (P.S. Impeach Clinton, support the coup!)
>
>If you ask me, the above quote was the funniest thing he said all
>night. I couldn't stop laughing. Best part was, part of me thinks Dave
>was serious when he said it...with his rumored libertarian streak and
>all, I'm sure he doesn't support Clinton.
>
I'd be interested in knowing whom he voted for - in his National Press Club
talk he zinged just about everybody. He answered every question he was asked
with some reference to the "failed Clinton Presidency," and expressed his 
"confidence" that Clinton would be able to instill ethics in the federal 
government and get rid of all the lobbyists. To be fair, though, he also 
mentioned that he thought the blame for Bush's fall was his campaign 
advisers, Wayne and Garth. However, one suspects he might have voted
Republican since he said he would like to amend the Constitution to make
Quayle the permanent VP; this would not have to be a big deal, according to
Dave - "we could just use crayons."

And of course, he really attacked Clinton for daring to bring a cat into the
White House, although his explanation was along the lines of "dogs are stupid
and thus are always thinking you're a mega-genius, while cats actually have
a clue as to how stupid you are." He did bring up a great point - the White
House belongs to the people, so do we really want a cat scratching up all 
the furniture in the Lincoln Bedroom?



-- 
John Switzer               | "If you ask me, Larry, the Clinton Presidency
                           | has failed. What has he done? Nothing!"
CompuServe: 74076,1250     | --Dave Barry to Larry King, November 12, 1992
Internet: jrs@netcom.com   | (P.S. Impeach Clinton, support the coup!)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: mem@mv.mv.com (Mark E. Mallett)
Subject: Re: Is Rockbottom Remainders Out?
Organization: MV Communications, Inc.
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 18:49:30 GMT

In article <1992Nov17.164346.7726@netcom.com> jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer) writes:
>I've been searching around town for the Rockbottom Remainders video and haven't
>found anything but a bunch of blank stairs from uncomprehending store clerks. 
>Has anyone actually gotten their hands on this yet?

I've had it for a couple of weeks now, and frankly it's not what I was
hoping for.  It's snippets of songs interwoven with interviews of the
band members.  Had I known that was what it was going to be, I doubt
I'd have spent the money.

-mm-
-- 
Mark E. Mallett  MV Communications, Inc./ PO Box 4963/ Manchester NH/ 03108
Bus. Phone: 603 429 2223    Home: 603 424 8129     BIX: mmallett
Internet: mem@mv.MV.COM  ( uucp: ...{decvax|harvard}!mv!mem )
Looking for news and mail in southern NH / northern MA?  Try MV!
From: briand@tekig5.pen.tek.com (Brian D Diehm)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
Date: 16 Nov 92 19:31:03 GMT
Reply-To: briand@tekig5.PEN.TEK.COM
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Beaverton,  OR.

>Blasphemer! You're actually gonna nominate Minnie Riperton's "Loving You"
>as one of the worst songs ever? I bet she's turning in her grave.
>
>The woman had a 5-octave voice, dude! (I am not making this up.)

So? Barbra Streisand has a wonderful voice. She has rarely chosen, however,
to use it to produce music.

I have to agree with the original poster. Had I remembered this one on my own,
it would have scragged whatever else I was considering. In fact, it now has.
This song was all time bad.

Another baddie was the old "I've got a brand new roller skate and you've got
a brand new key." It included such lyrics as "I don't go very fast but I go
pretty far." Again, it was done in a sickly sweet cutesy style, though I forget
by who. Similar style to the one originally mentioned. Same era. Bad. Dumb.

But hey, just my opinion, eh?
--
Brian Diehm
Tektronix, Inc.                (503) 627-3437         briand@tekig5.PEN.TEK.COM
P.O. Box 500, M/S 19-286
Beaverton, OR   97077
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson)
Subject: Sending a letter to Dave regarding exploding objects
Organization: Carleton University
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 15:57:38 GMT

I'm shipping off another letter to Dave today, with some articles on
exploding things. I thought I should let you all know so you can watch
for my name in his column <g>

Two of the articles I wrote for the Winnipeg Free Press last year,
regarding teddy bears being given out by the Salvation Army. A woman
called the newsroom and said she was told the bears would explode.
Aww-right! I said to my editor, "This sounds like it belongs in a Dave
Barry column." So my editor told me to call Dave up and get a quote!
(I did, but I only got the machine. He never called me back. Oh well).

In the end, the bears only let off a puff of smoke when you installed
the batteries. No exploding bear bits. :(

The other article is from yeterday's Ottawa Sun. A magician was
injured over the weekend when his magic wand exploded. I told Dave it
would have been much funnier if his assistant had exploded.

;"Now I will saw my lovely assistant in half."
 <saw> <saw> <BOOOOOOOM!>
 "EEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!"

I also asked Dave to pop up here and give us repeated convulsions with
his mere appearance. :)

Michael
From: v068ky46@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (John J. Atkins)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: worst _album_ suggestion
Date: 21 Nov 92 21:07:00 GMT
Organization: University at Buffalo
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

OK, how about an album that has, in every song, three of the worst 
things ever to appear in music? these are:

1. broadway show tunes
2. disco
3. Ethyl Merman

I'm nominating _The Ethyl Merman Disco Album_ . It's absolutely horrible,
and was a serious attempt at music! I mean, if Saturday Night live 
did this one, I'd be rolling on the floor, but to hear Ethyl Merman
sing "there's no business like show business" in disco form? Fortunately
I've only run into two proud owners of this gem in my life. 

						John
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: alrobins@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Amanda Robinson)
Subject: Re: my vote for worst song
Keywords: c&w browne vote
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester MI.
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1992 00:36:04 GMT

Sam Saal writes:

>For worst overall song I voted "anything by Garth Brooks."  I'm sure
>I'll get flamed by all the yaahoos that have made country music the
>most popular music (shudder) in the US today.

Let's get one thing straight-- Garth Brooks is not real country.  Garth
Brooks is country the way rock fans think it should be.  I am a country music
fan, and I HATE Garth Brooks.  And for the record, country always has been
one of the most popular genres of music in the US.  But nobody would admit
it until Brooks (and Randy Travis and ...) came along and made it "cool" to 
be country.  Don't worry, it'll die out after a while and the world will go
back to normal.  Maybe Garth Brooks will even cut some good songs...

Garth Brooks fans, flame away.

Amanda.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: doehr@magellan.den.mmc.com (Brett B. Doehr)
Subject: Re: Dave in Phila. paper?
Organization: Martin Marietta Astronautics Group
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 15:52:49 GMT

According to the FAQ, he can be found in the following:
  Philadelphia Daily News, Tuesdays, w/ JeffMacNelly's cartoons
  Philadelphia Inquirer, (occaisionally) Inquirer Magazine

Don't know if these are still correct, but if they're in a FAQ,
they gotta be good.  8-)}

---------------------------------------------------------------
| Brett B. Doehr           Martin Marietta Astronautics Group |
| Voice: +1-303-977-1504   P.O. Box 179  Denver, CO 80201 USA |
| Fax:   +1-303-977-1530          Internet: doehr@den.mmc.com |
|    "What's wrong?!  I'm used to being the weirdest guy in   |
|     the room, and suddenly I'm not even in the running!"    |
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: frisch1@athena.mit.edu (Jonathan Katz)
Subject: Worst Song and Topic!
Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 20:34:09 GMT

People:
I don't know how anyone else feels about it, but please STOP posting your opinion
about the worst song(s) ever.
I read this newsgroup to find out info about Dave Barry, not to find out
everybody's opinions about stuff.

If you really care that much, send Dave Barry mail with your vote and then maybe
you won't feel the need to share your opinion with all of us!

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer)
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 18:25:58 GMT

In article <Bxx5GJ.1KL@acsu.buffalo.edu> camdna@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu (Darren Natale) writes:
>I fifth the nomination of Minnie Riperton's "Loving You" as worst song
>of all time. I suggest the following as runner's up:
>
>Muskrat Love, by America (?), and popularized by (for those tender
>	of stomach I suggest not being reminded of this.....) the
>	Captain and Tenille!
>	My nominee for the "Song Most Responsible for Broken Radios."

Hey! This song should at least be praised for inspiring the classic
"Chipmunk Love," which is all about how good chipmunks taste when 
you slice, dice, and fillet them. It shows up on Dr. Demento every 
once in a while.
-- 
John Switzer               | "If you ask me, Larry, the Clinton Presidency
                           | has failed. What has he done? Nothing!"
CompuServe: 74076,1250     | --Dave Barry to Larry King, November 12, 1992
Internet: jrs@netcom.com   | (P.S. Impeach Clinton, support the coup!)
From: ejon@ll.mit.edu (Eric Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Re: The Worst Song Survey and Dave by e-mail
Date: 23 Nov 92 17:42:10 GMT
Reply-To: ejon@ll.mit.edu (Eric Jones)
Organization: MIT Lincoln Laboratory



In article <1ej29gINN35l@horus.ap.mchp.sni.de>, mike@horus.ap.mchp.sni.de (Mike Hoffmann) writes:
|>With all the hubbub about the Big Survey now, it seems that many people
|>have overlooked some interesting little remark of Dave's. For in that
|>one column he wrote:
|>
|>---
|>	And it's not just the public. It's also the media. I put a message on		|>	The Miami Herald's newsroom computer system, asking people to nominate
|>			   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|>	the worst rock song ever, and within minutes I was swamped with
|>---
|>
|>Now, doesn't that mean that the Herald at least has an internsal e-mail
|>system? How big is the step to start a collection and give them a modem,
|>a leased line, whatever and get The Funniest Man in America (or the known
|>Universe) on to the Internet?
|>

	I dunno...if internet access affects him same way it does me, he
wouldn't have time left to write any articles.  Could we deprive ourselves
so?
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: jac@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (John Clear)
Subject: Re: Worst Song and Lyrics Contest
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1992 09:17:48 GMT

In article <1992Nov21.190904.10271@u.washington.edu> behs@stein.u.washington.edu (Jon Martin) writes:
>Yo! You all are forgetting all about the recent barrage of musical
>crap to hit the airwaves! My nomination for the worst song ever is
>   "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus

	I had the misfortune of hearing an Alvin and the Chimpmunks cover of 
"Achy Breaky Heart" a few months ago on some local station.  It was extremely
PAINFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>For worst lyrics, I'd have to nominate this:
>   "Jump" by Kriss Kross

	What lyrics???  The only word in the entire song is 'jump', and that is
what they should do.  The guys across the hall from me last year played that 
song everyday on repeat at full volume for most of second semester.  ARGH!

Spacey

-- 
John `SpaceCadet` Clear -- jac@mentor.cc.purdue.edu, clearja@sage.cc.purdue.edu
PP-ASEL   C/LTC, CAP-NYW                                 
"When you think how well basic appliances work, it is hard to believe 
anyone ever gets on an airplane" -- Calvin and Hobbes
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 15:30:38 EST
From: <GEM116@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Small emergency backup dog

I am new to this newsgroup, and I must say that I am glad there is an entire
organization devoted to the appreciation of DB and his humor.  By the way, I
must agree that Dave's article on his security system was the funniest Dave
I have read in a while.


-Greg

GEM116@psuvm.psu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: rao@moose.cccs.umn.edu (Rao Akella)
Subject: DB in SF Bay Area (was: Re: worst song & lyrics)
Reply-To: rao@moose.cccs.umn.edu
Organization: Colon Cancer Control Study, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 20:54:03 GMT


In article <1992Nov19.032702.9254@leland.Stanford.EDU>, trump@leland.Stanford.EDU (Michael Jason Lewis) writes:
> 
> P.S.  Anyone know if the Man is coming through the SF Bay area?

An alert reader tells me he's going to be reading at some bookstore in Corte
Madera in Marin County on Thu, 19 Nov sometime in the evening.

And me stuck 1500 miles away.  I must've sinned big time in my previous birth.

-- Rao Akella    <rao@moose.cccs.umn.edu, rao%moose@umnacvx.bitnet>

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry