From: hmuskat@igc.apc.org (Hal Muskat)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: How I Introed Clinton to KGB
Date: 18 Nov 92 22:19:00 GMT
Nf-ID: #N:cdp:1453700018:000:3925
Nf-From: cdp.UUCP!hmuskat    Nov 18 14:19:00 1992


From: Hal Muskat <hmuskat>
Subject: How I Introed Clinton to KGB


How I introduced Gov. Bill Clinton to the KGB.

One rainy day in the late '60's I was walking the streets of London looking 
for an anti-American demonstration. They weren't hard to find in those 
days. Americans, with the help of Russian espionage agents were leading 
demonstrations in foreign capitals all over the world. All you had to do was 
look for a hippie and a guy following him. They were all over the place.

I was with a wonderful, multi-lingual Russian woman I had met the night before in 
Trafalger Square who was involved in a Lebanese hash smuggling operation 
that was being financed by the Israeli Secret Police with American script 
issued by MACV in Vietnam.

Rasha & I were sitting in a Bimbo Hamburger place when Bill Clinton and a 
few buddies wearing jeans & Oxfords came in looking for action & burgers. 
Rasha recognized a few of the guys from previous anti-American demos and 

introductions were made. She asked me to move aside so Bill could sit 
between us. She was obviously taken in by his wavy locks and throaty voice. 
And, being the highly trained espionage agent she was, could tell he would 
amount to something. This was before Hillary and Bill was just another 
student unable to inhale when Rasha covertly slipped off her underpants 
and stuffed them beneath his dayglo t-shirt. He then took his draft notice and rolled it up into a ball and gently placed it beneath between her breasts underneath her t-shirt. The last I saw of Rasha she was 
leading Bill up to the loft we had shared just a few hours before.

I thought she was KGB cause she was really into sex. In American high 
schools, we were taught that Russians were just communists, interested only 
in some manifesto or something having to do with burying us, and with no 
interest in culture, romance or sexuality that didn't have anything to do with 
the space program. 

For the rest of my stay in London, whenever I saw Bill, he was in Rasha's 
company. Sometimes, there would be several folks in dark raincoats 
following them but Bill seemed not to notice or care. He was totally taken in 
by Rasha's long legs which were not hidden very well by her mini-skirt. I thought he 
was the total southern gentleman, opening the taxi door for her and squatting down to help her pivot around in the seat. 

She would whisper things in his ear. I overheard once as she passed the 
bowl. "Bill," but it sounded like Beale, "You are patriot, yes?"

"Why, yes, Rasha, I am a patriot," he replied earnestly and unequivocally.

"And you oppose your country's war in Vietnam?"

"Yes, I do Rasha. Wanna have sex again?"

"Yes, Beale, I do, but I must recruit you also."

"I will do anything for you Rasha. For whom are you recruiting? I won't go in the army & forget the reserves and the guard. That's for rich kids like that Quayl 
guy up in Indiana who wants to be a politician. His father could have gotten 
me into the Indiana Guard, but I'm a Rhodes Scholar and Danny said they 
didn't have those in Indiana. Anti-American."

"It does not matter for whom I recruit," she replied, expertly parroting his
speech patterns for which she had been trained. "Would you like to come to 
Moscow and meet my sisters?"

"Do they like sex too?"

And so it came to pass that Bill Clinton, soon to be Governor of Arkansas and 
President of the United States of America accompanied Rasha to Moscow 
where he met her sisters and what ever red bloodied American now knows 
as truth, was trained KGB without his knowledge and sent back to London, 
seat of international protests against the American war in Vietnam to 
organize other students. During this period he was also trained by Rasha in 
statesmanship in preparation for his foray into electoral politics. 

That's why Arkansas has been a commie satellite all these years and how Bill 
Clinton lost the war in Vietnam.
Newsgroups: rec.humor