HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dmarcher@acsu.buffalo.edu (Dave Archer)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Alarm clocks & Guns 'n Roses
Date: 31 Dec 92 17:58:07 GMT
Organization: UB

In article <1992Dec16.134624.20090@cbfsb.cb.att.com> cooper@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (Ralph 'Hairy' Moonen) writes:
>So what's this gotta do with guns 'n roses I hear you ask. Well, lemme 
>explain. First thing, I have that problem too, I just don't even notice
>it when I switch off the alarm clock. This causes me to be late at work
>*every* day. Luckily I've adjusted my schedule to this irritant little trait
>of mine. 

Same here too.  Luckily the combination of setting the
clock ahead 9 minutes and keeping the snooze timer set at 4
minutes is enough of a mathematical challenge that I'll
have to wake up to figure out how long I can delay waking
up.

Unfortunately, that only solves the problem of waking up,
and not actually getting out of bed.  For awhile I tried
setting the radio to a C&W station, and while it worked,
people at work started commenting that I was grumpier than
normal, which is quite an accomplishment.

Now I just have the alarm set 2 hours ahead of time and
usually end up getting bored with thinking about getting
out of bed and actually get up before it's too late.

ObPeeve:  Being a night person in a day people's world.  

Night people of the world unite!  We shall abolish the 9-5
'normal' daytime working hours and force THEM to stay in
bed until noon.  Fast Food restraurants will be mandated by
law to stay open until 6am, and all info-mercials will be
restricted to the hours of 7am - noon.

Yawn.

---
 Note: I do not represent my employer or school, & sometimes not even myself.

  Dave Archer  |  Internet: dmarcher@acsu.buffalo.edu
               |    Bitnet: V116KZND@UBVMS
               |     GEnie: D.ARCHER
               |   Prodigy: Surely you jest!
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Morning Thunder Tea
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Organization: Shaque D'Amour
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 92 18:10:58 GMT
Expires: Mon, 18 Jan 93

Based upon its good reviews here, I have been drinking this stuff for
two weeks now.  No coffee, just Morning Thunder.  IT'S GREAT!!!  I
gave some to my boss, who only drinks this black Irish tea.  I am
still awaiting his opinion of MT.

Definite not-peeve, that Morning Thunder!  "An Exhilarating, Robust
Blend of Fine Imported Tea and Brazilian Mate'"  Best thing is, my
supermarket carries the stuff, so that was my first and last stop!
(A Kroger store, if you must know)

Ye-haw!
  -Bill
From: cress@cardinal.ksu.ksu.edu (Garrett C Cress)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Why me!
Date: 21 Dec 1992 16:28:26 -0600
Organization: Kansas State University
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: cardinal.ksu.ksu.edu


In article <Yrqas*NJ0@prolix.apana.org.au>, dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton) writes:
>So I get an article accepted by the moderator of rec.humor.funny,
>and it gets published in that newsgroup on the SAME DAY as one
>from Steve fucking Franklin.
>
>Sheesh.
>
>Dac
>--

This is just stunningly relevant.

Garrett

Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: mzraly@ra.cs.umb.edu (Michael S Zraly)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: People Who Think I Have Nothing To Do
Date: 30 Dec 92 09:17:52 GMT
Organization: UMass/Boston
Originator: mzraly@ra.cs.umb.edu

For some reason lately people where I work overnights have taken to the
assumption that, since I am working overnight, I have nothing to do.
In two recent cases, I have been told that I "might as well" do X
because, "it's not like you have anything else to do" or, more
aggravating, "at least this will fill some of your time".

I told the second offender that I was quite capable of filling up my
time, thankyouverymuch.

What makes people assume that just because my work is slow (overnight
security) I don't fill it up (with studying, peeves, etc.)?

-- 
Mike Zraly		The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away
mzraly@cs.umb.edu	with it.	-- Abbie Hoffman
From: igb@fulcrum.co.uk (Ian G Batten)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Cold weather peevette
Date: 21 Dec 92 12:28:51 GMT
Organization: Fulcrum Communications

In article <29764@castle.ed.ac.uk> jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson) writes:
> This morning my car door locks were completely frozen solid -
> and my de-icer was inside the car. It's enough to make you
> blame Mike Holmes!!

!Peeve: my lock de-icer was in my jacket pocket.

Surely all you people up north must know about dealing with cold cars?

ian
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: baldwin@carina.unm.edu (Chris Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Bleeding heart liberals
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 92 14:29:39 GMT
Organization: Atheist for the Development of a Better God

In article <14Qas*tL0@prolix.apana.org.au> dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton) writes:
>> Got a volunteer for the part of utter reprobate in mind, dac?
>
>Both the Baldwins.

	Huh? Hold on a minute. <flip> <flip> <flip> Umm...let's see here...
repro...reproach....reproachful...Ah! Reprobate. <mumble> <mumble>  Hey! I 
resent that! Well, not really. I suppose the part about "A person damned;
a lost soul" prolly even applies.

Yeah! Utter Reprobate and damned proud of it!

-- 

"My essential point is that the First Amendment does more for men
than it does for women by protecting speech that supports patrimony"
  -- Law Prof. Mary Becker, U of Chicago Law School
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Swearing
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 08:28:20 GMT
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00

In article <lk14rmINNrje@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>, 242 lbs before cooking writes:

> (Andrew Clayton) writes:
> >I left out 'banta', 'richh' and 'kebbin' on purpose.
> 
> Your hero worship is touching, but misguided, none-the-less.

If it _were_ hero worship, then I would totally agree with you.

Since it wasn't, you can go squick a blender [which should be
'on' in 'obliterate' mode.]

> created for yourself, but we're just ordinary *people*, dac.

You? *People*?

More like AlienLifeFormsWithSeverePersonalityDisorders in
Drieux's _Lexicon of Life_ [Doubleday, ISBN 666-3141492654]

> >!Peeve: Usenet access from home
> 
> Anti-peeve: 38.4 Kbit PPP connections at home.

I hate you.

Peeve: People with excellent network connectivity from home.

Dac
--
dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
                    <Using ARN on an Amiga 4000. Yay!>
From: banta@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Map *this*!
Date: 29 Dec 1992 18:37:06 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: abingdon

(Robert O'Brien) writes:
>cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy) writes:
>>The first question that I heard was "What does a cartographer produce?".
>>This received 4 dull, blank stares until the buzzer sounded and the emcee

So what *does* a cartog ...

>Peeve:  The near certainty that two or more "persons" read this and then
>	sent email to the poster asking for the answer to the cartographer
>	question.

Uh, nevermind.

Peeve: Having a 10 day break, and I'm sitting here with a sore side,
uanble to do any serious wrenching.

Anti-peeve: Renting _Buffy, The Vampire Slayer_.  I don't know what
I expected, but movie wasn't any of it.  We're talking serious,
campy entertainment with a followable plot.  Perfect for those
couple hours on the couch, waiting for the alcohol and ibuprofen to
kick in.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
 by those who have not got it."
                                -- George Bernard Shaw
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Subject: You can run, but you can't hide
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1992 18:44:45 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard


Finally it makes sense.  This weekend it occurred to me where I'd seen
Bill Berbenich before; it also explains why he's been expecting a payoff.
The clue is that he said everyone thinks they've seen him before.  Well,
they have.

Bill Berbenich is Lee Harvey Oswald.

!Peeve: the movie "Hoffa" - the "hunting scene" is hysterical.

-Dave


       -v--
    -v-- .                                                            ,'':;'';
                                                                     ' ,;*o   '
                _  O                                                  ;'  \\
               {_}/|______                                                 \\
                |(( |   | ))                                             ___\\_
~~~~~~~~~~~~oo&@+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'~~~~~~
From: geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: People Who Think I Have Nothing To Do
Followup-To: alt.peeves
Date: 1 Jan 1993 05:40:07 GMT
Organization: La Petite Squickerie du Geoff, Mountain View, Ca.
NNTP-Posting-Host: purplehaze.corp.sun.com



Tangentially related peeve: People who don't believe me when I say
I'm busy.  Especially those who reflexively say, "Well, *make* time!" 
when I tell them I don't have time for something.  I like to think 
there's a particularly fetid corner of Hades reserved for their 
kind.



Geoff "read my lips" Miller

--
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller			+ + + + + + + +        Sun Microsystems
geoffm@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM	+ + + + + + + +     Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.fan.furry
From: dmunroe@vcd.hp.com (Dave Munroe)
Subject: Re: Quicksilver virus on furry Muck
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 00:44:28 GMT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard

	[ 995 lines of crap deleted ]


Here's an electrodollar, go buy yourself a clue:


         ____________________________________________________
        |,---.        ) ALT.PEEVES of USENET (          ,---.|
        |) 1 (        `====---    _   ---===='          ) 1 (|
        | \ /                    | |                     \ / |
        |  V      ,-.            |-|                      V  |
        |        ( D )          _|-|_         good  for      |
        |         `-'         _(_) (_)         O  N  E       |
        |                    (_) | | L_.       c-l-u-e       |
        |      M21141815E    '      (_  \                    |
        | / \               (        /  /                / \ |
        |( 1 )                                          ( 1 )|
        | \ / ---==<  E L E C T R O D O L L A R  >==---  \ / |
        |____________________________________________________|


-Dave
From: revenge1@ac.dal.ca
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: As I look around me I see... PAPER!
Date: 21 Dec 92 10:35:50 -0400
Organization: Dalhousie University, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

Well, it looks like this is my last peeve of the year. In fact, this might 
be my last peeve ever.

Now stop that cheering, all of you! I'm not pulling a Jimmy Stewart and
doing a swan dive off the Halifax-Dartmouth Bridge, no matter how some of you
may wish for it.

No, indeed. I have finished my degree here at Dolthouse, and am about to 
start another at a new university. I am not sure if this particular university
will get alt.peeves. This is in and of itself peevish, but I'm not going to 
dwell on it, since I think I figured out a way to keep my old accounts here.

I have a peeve of a different colour, and it's one some of you share with 
me. I am moving.

Now, the actualy move isn't going to be all that bad, since I have a friend with
a truck, and two more who will help me. The trouble is in the packing.

As I sift through the things I own, the papers, the photographs, the 
floatsom and jetsom of 21 years of life, one things keeps running through my 
head...

"Jesus Christ! WHY did I hang on to all this JUNK?"

Class notes from high school, papers I didn't like writing, VERY old bills, 
phone numbers for people I don't remember, headphones that I broke YEARS ago!
WHAT on EARTH possessed me to hang on to all this JUNK? This is stuff with NO 
sentimental value, NO monetary value, and I can't imagine the Statute of 
Limitations applying to ANY of it. So I came up with a theory:

Old papers, like fine wine, are something we all hang on to for YEARS.
We let them age in a dark room somewhere, then when the time is right, we open
their containers, peruse the contents, and dispose of them sutiably.

All right, so this isn't much pf a peeve. Life's been going reasonably well
lately. I'll let you know when the other shoe drops.


Enjoy your Midwinter Solstace...


Mike
From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Cold weather peevette
Date: 21 Dec 92 14:34:56 GMT
Organization: Edinburgh University

jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk (Jeremy Henderson) writes:

>This morning my car door locks were completely frozen solid -
>and my de-icer was inside the car. It's enough to make you
>blame Mike Holmes!!

Just pee on the lock! The temperature differential will fix things. If
you can't go, just look for one of the unemployed and co-opt them into a
service industry.

>p.s. - I know I repeated a Xmas peeve - but it wasn't original
>the first time either ;-(

Yep, it's that time of year when you hear The Slade and Jeremy comes out
with old peeves again.

>===Jeremy Henderson===jeremy@castle.ed.ac.uk=          

FoFP
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Miss Quotes (Was: Misquotes (Was: Work peeves))
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<1992Dec18.113544.9626@cs.umb.edu> <1992Dec19.092332.10682@cs.umb.edu>
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 16:15:25 GMT

<In article <1992Dec19.092332.10682@cs.umb.edu> mzraly@ra.cs.umb.edu (Michael S Zraly) writes:
<   I said
<   > [...] Can we just say that he'll beat James Watt's
<   > "a black, a cripple, and a Jew" and be done with it?

[More Watticism's deleted]

<   At least two of us must be wrong.

	Not necessarily; the FormerSecAg may have emitted
	the UnPC comment more than once in more than one way.

<   Peeve:	I goofed.

<   Peeve:	No easy way to look up the correct quote from work or home,
<	   and I really don't feel like searching through the old
<	   newspapers at the school library.


	Obviously, the CORRECT quote is the one which involves
	oversized footware, a drunken kitty-kat and a warm
	restroom.


ObPeeve: the dearth of colorful scoundrels such as the FormerSecAg
	 in public life; it's a given that we'll have Politically
	 Uncorrect Double-Plus Ungood types in the government,
	 but do they all have to be as *BORING* as Senator
	 Packwood?

ObPeeve: Wilbur Mills is not only dead, he's not a Senator
	 anymore, either.




Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.tasteless
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: A Definite Not-Peeve, involves money
Followup-To: alt.peeves,alt.tasteless
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 93 01:16:44 GMT

In <1993Jan3.230146.20731@igor.tamri.com> donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:

>In article <1992Dec22.022033.16692@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu
>(Bill Berbenich) writes:

[dave writes about the Billster]

>>>I think
>>>he's bumped someone off.

>>Pish posh!  It is still just in the planning stages at this point.  We'll
>>all know when it has happened...

>Uh Bill?  Hoffa is already dead.

Good!  I've been working hard to build a track record and someone else has
taken notice of my work finally!  But I am also not one to rest on past
successes.

Back to the old grind, the old ball and chain,
  -Bill

P.S.  Watching "The People Under The Stairs" just now has given me some good
      ideas.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,soc.singles,alt.religion.computers
From: drieux@wetware.com (drieux, just drieux)
Subject: effective use of language in professional email
Organization: Castle WetWare Philosopher and Sniper
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 09:49:51 GMT


people often ask me how to effectively use our
native tongue to communicate important ideas in email
and I thought I would share a piece of useful email
inregards to clarifying the generated data for a
network availability graph.

Notice how a Meaningless string of Technical Jargon has been effectively
translated into the ProperPresentationForm to be promulgated
in the Appropriate Mangement Information Distribution Mechanism.

{as a matter of privacy I have deleted specific names,
as well as gender_based_pronouns. As This does come from
actual interoffice email. }

[[
[[8>After spending all afternoon in <person>'s <typeof> code, I have fixed the 
[[8>problem which was causing the availabilities to show up as 82% instead
[[8>of 100%.  The data from 1300 <DDMM1> through 1700 <DDMM2> (today) will
[[8>be corrupted.  I think I will murder <person> for <hir> part in all of this,
[[8>but don't let it get around...
[[8>
[[8>Yours on all fours,
[[8><other_person>
[[8>
[[
[[bottom line:
[[
[["'a system enhancement to the network monitoring tools'
[[facilitated a non_positively interpretable variance in the
[[apparent network availabilty data, as can not, at this point,
[[be eliminated from the currently gathered data, but does not
[[provide an operable truth within the present understanding of the
[[context of the actual situation when viewed pro_actively."
[[
[[Or did I miss something?
[[


ciao
drieux


-- 
Modern Day Problems:

This is Not a .sigfile addendum to the Post.
You are just reading beyond the edge.
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Re: not a holiday peeve
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 92 22:42:39 GMT

Russ, it was the fault of the evil firearm/ammo.  Remember that, eh?
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
Subject: Keep the penguin or choose door #3
Date: Sun, 27 Dec 92 22:51:07 GMT
Distribution: alt.peeves
Organization: A Suffusion of Yellow

Peeve: Game shows.  Somebody *must* watch these, or they wouldn't
       proliferate the airwaves so much.  The only semi-decent one on the
       air is "Jeopardy", and Alex Trebek is such a smarmy, pseudo-
       intellectual that he makes the show unwatchable.

I was visiting friends over the holidays and some game show was on the box
featuring college kids going at it hammer-and-tong (I use "going at it" in
terms of competing, not what college kids *claim* to be doing so much of).
The first question that I heard was "What does a cartographer produce?".
This received 4 dull, blank stares until the buzzer sounded and the emcee
gave the answer.  The next question was "What color are smurfs?".  Four
voices sang out "blue!" in unison.

Peeve: That someone who is actually admitted to a college in this country
       doesn't know what cartography is, but instantaneously knows about
       smurf melanin attributes.  When smurfs sunburn, do they turn
       purple?

+--------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran, Data General Corporation, RTP, NC   |
|cochran@dg-rtp.dg.com                             |
+--------------------------------------------------+
|"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch."      |
|                                   --Lily Tomlin  |
+--------------------------------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.peeves,alt.religion.santaism
From: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
Subject: Re: Santa Claus
Organization: NMSU Computer Science
	<1992Dec22.164817.22823@nstn.ns.ca>
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1992 20:25:23 GMT

<In article <1992Dec22.164817.22823@nstn.ns.ca> dc_ags@ac.nsac.ns.ca (Don Christie) writes:

<In article <BzCzKv.58M@bailgate.gpsemi.com>, dcoyle@holly.gpsemi.com (Diarmuid Coyle LDC X2414 AKA "The Terminator") writes:
<>
<>WHAT you mean Santa Claus is NOT real!!??

<What do you mean `what do you mean'? 

   What do you mean, "What do you mean `what do you mean`?"?

   ObPeeve: Some folks will probably claim that sentence isn't *CLEAR*.


<Santa Claus and Jim Bakker should be
<locked in the same damn cell... after all, they did the same thing: bilked the
<public...



	   You're gonna get coal.....
From: dac@prolix.apana.org.au (Andrew Clayton)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Sox, Dimes and Launderettes
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 05:23:45 GMT
Organization: More like Dis~, really.
X-Newsreader: Arn V1.00

In article <18106@autodesk.COM>, Elaine Richards writes:

> Needless to say, I have perfected the art of laundry life. I have one
> month's worth of socks and underwear. I only go once a month at 8AM

Sheesh Elaine, after one month, doesn't the aroma of unclean
clothing festering in a container, start to get a teensy bit
noticable?

> put one load per dryer, set it on "FRY", and am out in 15 minutes.

However, 15 minutes to do one entire month worth of washing! I am
suitably impressed.

Fortunately for me, my partner and I employ someone to come and
do the major housework AND the washing, twice a week! This is a
mega non-peeve!

[Except when I am home on the day(s) that the hired help are in
town, and then I get really pissed off at having to move from
room to room, getting out of the way of them doing their thing.]


Dac
--
dac@prolix.apana.org.au              David Andrew Clayton.           // _| _  _
dac@prolix.sserve.cc.adfa.oz.au      Canberra, Australia           \X/ (_](_](_
                    <Using ARN on an Amiga 4000. Yay!>
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Re: Bleeding heart liberals
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 92 21:08:12 GMT

In article <14Qas*tL0@prolix.apana.org.au> dac@prolix.apana.org.au
(Andrew Clayton) writes:
>> >Sometimes it would be a lot of fun to see some utter reprobate
>> >get his or her just desserts, with a few well placed swipes, from
>
>> Got a volunteer for the part of utter reprobate in mind, dac?
>
>Both the Baldwins.

Here, I have some just desserts for YOU Dac...starting with
some of my special whipped cream.  Bon appetite.

    don "master bates" baldwin
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Whenever someone tells you you won't need a gun, you better
 bring one along."  -  Robert Mitchum as PI Philip Marlowe
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Baldwin  -  Software Engineer  - e-mail to:  donb@tamri.com
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich)
Subject: Hawk/Falcon peeve
Organization: University of Denver, Dept. of Math & Comp. Sci.
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 92 04:06:55 GMT

You remember my tale of the hawk about a month and a half ago?  That bird
was great.  It warmed the cockles of my heart to see nature at work.
I felt like digging up father Darwin for a brandy!

Well, I haven't seen the damned bird in over a month now.  The pigeons
are all gone, too.  But the squirrels prosper.

Peeve:  Missing raptors.  They hook your heart and then they leave.

*sniff*
  -Bill
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
From: proterin@nmt.edu (Paul Rotering)
Subject: Re: Rhino virus peeve
Organization: New Mexico Tech
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 09:50:34 GMT


z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu (Dan Sorenson -- Agroignoramus) writes:

>bberbeni@nyx.cs.du.edu (Bill Berbenich) writes:

>>That brings to mind a question that I have never gotten a good answer to --
>>What is the difference between horns and antlers?

>	Antlers are branched horns.  Thus, if you find a deer with no
>branches on his antlers, they are really horns.  If you find a cow with
>a split horn, it is really an antler.

This would be correct but for two small errors.  Cows don't have antlers and
deer don't have horns.

Obpedantry:

Horn growth is limited to three groups - bovines, giraffe(s) and the American
antelope.

Male deer, elk, moose, and both sexes of reindeer and caribou grow antlers.

Horns consist of a bone core covered in a keratin sheath, while antlers
(when fully developed) consist entirely of bone.

Antlers are shed.  Horns are not.

So if you find a deer with no branches in his antlers, he's probably a
yearling or it's sometime between the end of the rut and the beginning of
summer.  If you find a cow with a split horn, you probably only grazed it
and need to swing that combine around for another run.

-Paul