From: udcrusd@meaddata.com (Sylvia D'Cruz)
Subject: Re: More about India
Organization: Mead Data Central, Dayton OH
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1992 20:29:41 GMT
Distribution: soc.culture.indian

In article <1992Oct6.150358.28380@coe.montana.edu>, prem@cs.montana.edu (M.P.Premkumar) writes:
|> Hi nettors,
|> 
|> The truth is people here are over exaggerating the issue very much. Yes, its
|> true that eave teasing is there in big cities. But it doesn't mean that all
|> men are like that. Maybe a few. But the few make their presence felt. One
                      ^^^^^^^^^^^
|> example I can offer in the same lines: The foul mouthing of some "civilised"
|> nettors against some members of the opposite sex. If someone read SCI and
|> decided that all Indian men are like that then will you all accept that ?

In big cities, only a few stay away from eve teasing. For the majority, it is
a game, that starts in secondary school itself. The whistling, the name calling
and the mimicking of feminine gestures. These are some of the minor forms of it.And, guys generally feel MACHO, when they as part of a "guy" gang on street 
corners, start their act on groups of females or women by themselves. And, how
they laugh.... 

And, during holi these eve teasers are really elated, they can target certain 
locations and score a hit with their water balloons and colors.  I think we 
need a law that restricts such activity, to your friends and invitee's in your 
backyard or playground. This is one instance, where traditional customs need 
modification, to suit changing needs.

|> USA is better than India in treating women eh ? I assume people just study
|> and study and don't look around what's happening here. Did any of you see
|> the statistics of sexual harrasment in USA ? Did any of you see the series
|> of women beating cases shown in CNN and other news bulletins ? Based on my
|> observations I think USA treats women very very badly compared to India.

There are no statistics or they are kept to a minimum in India in regard to
most social aspects. Can you quote any statistics of sexual harrasment taken
in the last few years, in India ?  Just because there are no statistics, don't
presume that everything is just great about India. India has a large labor 
force that has a lot of women in it, too. They are paid 1/3rd the salary of
their male counterparts for the same task, and they are taken advantage of -
yes sexually, too. I know cases where the female maids in a household, are
sexually abused by the boss. The press is not muzzled, to the extent it is
in India. So, just because you don't hear of serial killers, incest, patricide
sexual harrassment etc, does not mean it is not happening.

|> Here women are nothing but sex objects to men(most of them). Men stare here
|> also at beautiful women passing all kinds of comments. Whereas in India the
|> teasing stops in the roads here it follows the women wherever she goes. And
|> they get beaten by their husbands(I accept that this is common in India too)
|> and their boy friends. 

Men over here, may glance their way, maybe smile and turn away. But, most of
the men in India undress you with a hard stare and don't even think it is
unpolite and ther gaze follows you till you are out of sight. And, yes, they 
is no smile, just a gaping open mouth. Yes! they stare at low necks, girls in
skirts and shorts. Ahh! but then it is not as common a sight as it is over here.
Maybe that gives them a reason.........

|> Guys here are always looking for women for sex. And most of them do get what
|> they wanted by persuasion or force. Men go to bars to "pick up" girls for the
|> night. The work place is also not so good to the women here. And I can tell
|> for sure that offices in India are much better than here in the USA where
|> women are always apprehensive of what might happen to them.

Sorry to disappoint you pal! I have worked in India, and here, too. I have more
opportunity, here, atleast to reach middle managment, than I have in India. My
personal life does not crop up in job interviews, Performance Analysis, etc. I
have never felt like a sex object at work, or for that matter on the streets.
No, I come to work, get my job done and go home. I have never been apprehensive.

I was more worried going to work in India, never knowing, when there would be a
strike, and lack of transport to get home, the flooding in Bombay, a yearly
episode, and yes being caught alone in the first class ladies compartment, in
a train. Maybe it is a different lifestyle. But, in all honesty, I must say,
I was scared coming home early in the mornings from the computer lab, here in 
the US at school. But, atleast I had at my disposal campus security.

Bars - I think that is mutual, some of the women, too, go over there to get
picked up.

|> The schools are biased towards men here. Did any one of you read the reports
|> about how girls are discriminated in the school education system here ?
|> 
|> So for heavensake don't try to glorify USA and degrade India at every 
|> opportunity. And don't just complain on everything in India without you
|> doing anything to help. [I remember seeing a report that Delhi Women students
|> formed an action group against eave teasing - I wonder how many of the people
|> who complained here did anything of that sort when they were in India].
|> While I accept that women are not always treated well in India I also say that
|> USA is no better.
|> 
|> 
|> Sincerely yours,
|> M.P.Premkumar

I wonder, how many of the men on this net thought, that eve teasing was wrong,
and did something about it. Personally, I think the US is better, because, they
are atleast aware of the problems confronting women in society, today, and are
trying to improve their lot. I can't say the same for India. They are still,
tackling issues like bride burning, widow shunning, female infanticide and 
others. By the time they address issues like sexual harassment at work, equal
pay etc., it  will be a century away. I can't wait that long.

The US has it's problems, and I am not trying to glorify it. I personally, think
the US has more to offer me and my family than India can.

Someone said "Ask not what the country can do for you, but what you can do for 
the country". I considered that, got entangled in communal differences, red tape
and bribes. I am free, now.........

Sylvia D. D'Cruz