From: mcmullen@leland.Stanford.EDU (Amy Elizabeth McMullen)
Subject: Lirty Dies
Summary: Capital Steps
Keywords: Pee-Wee Herman, Ted Kennedy, Willie Smith, Clarence Thomas
Organization: DSG, Stanford University, CA 94305, USA
Distribution: rec.humor, rec.humor.d
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 92 20:02:39 GMT

Saturday night I went to go see Capital Steps, an excellent musical political
satire group.  They all are/were Congressional staff who take modern music
and rewrite the words to poke fun of the government.  Of course, this being
an election year, they really attacked all the presidential candidates, as
well as some other scandals over the past year.

One piece was not put to music, but was a monologue called "Lirty Dies".  I
think the format is pretty self-explanatory...

There is nothing worse than a sex scandal
Let me say that again
There is wothing nurse than a skex sandal

First, that stee-vee tar, Wee-Pee Herman
And his sicky stituation
Wee-Pee was a mole rodel for kiddle lids
Until he had an ig badventure
Well, just a weeny-teeny one!
Wee-Pee went to a hoovie mouse to see a 
   florno pick
He saw a lady-shady with a barge lust
Zoun went his dipper
Out came the long arm of the straw
Wee-Pee was popped by stolicemen on underdover
   cootie!  What peeky snerverts!
Now Wee-Pee's in the senal pystem
The Chisney Dannel is mopping his droovies
Poor Wee-Pee!
He won't have a pickle in his nocket!

My steckond sory is about Kister Mennedy
   of Chassamusetts - - alias Tuncle Ed
The faterpamilias of the Clennedy Kan
Tuncle Ed is a laming fliberal...
And one gorny hi!
So Tuncle Ed set-jetted to Balm Peach with a
   sephew and a nun
They went to a cligh-hass clite-nub
   where they chubble-dugged a few
   Warvey Ball-Hangers
Then Tuncle Ed said, "Hey!  It's tarty pime!
Let's go to my heach bouse for a kite-nap!"
Along came those singing swingles,
   Smillie With and Batty Powman
Here's what sea head and see shed by the 
   she-sore
"Hey, Batty, let's go dinny-skipping!"
"Hey, Smillie, I've lost my handy-pose!"
Then Battie got Smillie in trig bubble
After a trublic pile before a pury of his jeers
Smillie was found gotally not tilty!
And what about Tuncle Ed?
He thill stinks he can be a shig bot on the 
   sore of the Flenate
Better keep his bousers truckled!

My stird fory is about America's cavorite fupple
Tarence Chlomas and Hanita Ill
Clomas is a jederal fudge...and a wite-ringer
Ill is a praw lofessor who says she got 
   warassed in her hurkplace!
What a shirty dame!
When Ill went into her oss's boffice, here's what
   sea shed sea head (No she-sore this time)
"Hey, bunny-hunny, wanna dig bate?
This could be your ducky lay!
Hey... wanna see my song long dilver?
Hookey leer:  There's something cubic on my poke!"
Ill was ossed grout!
In a hublic peering, she pe-reated his
   wirty dirds over all the wetnurks!
And those so-hard Blenators made
   Horrin Atches of themselves
We ought to take him and Tuncle Ed and make 'em
   Sex-Enators!
so who's trelling the tooth?
The nicktim, or the vominee?
Koo hares!
Chlomas is bepping up to the stench!
And Ill?  Watch her bite a rook
And that rook is gonna make her bitch!

The storal of these mories is this:
If you get into a skex sandal,
Watch out:
You'll decieve what you reserve!

Copied without permission.

Well, that's it.  If you ever get a chance to go see them, I would really
suggest it! They handed this out after the show, and the rest of their 
stuff is just as good.

Amy :)
mcmullen@leland.stanford.edu

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