From: mitcheec@ctrvx1.vanderbilt.edu (Elliott Mitchell)
Subject: You probably missed this
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Organization: Vanderbilt University
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 13:58:00 GMT

AP-Republicans-Out                                                          

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                                                        ! GENERAL NEWS !    


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                              Limbaugh, Ailes make surprise announcement
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(New York City) -- Long time Republican strategist Roger Ailes and Rush
Limbaugh, author of the best-selling book "The way things out to be" held a
joint news conference this morning to announce that they are both
homosexual and plan to be wed.

Ailes, holding a copy of Limbaugh's best-selling book, "The way things out
to be" described the decision as "difficult, yet necessary."  Saying also,
"drapes were cleaner, easier to breathe, amazing results from the first
day" he admitted that, in fact, most hard-core Republicans are closet gays
that have yearned to be free for the past 12 years."

Holding a copy of his best-selling book, "The way things out to be", in his
formerly nicotine-stained fingers,  Limbaugh admitted that although the
recent Democratic victory in the presidential election had come as a great
shock, that both he and Ailes took it as a sign from God that, quote
"things had loosened up in this country to the point where we could finally
unmask ourselves."  Limbaugh also reported "Wow, Spanish is easy!"

The happy couple told the assembled reporters of gifts they have given each
other to celebrate the occasion:  Limbaugh, author of the best-selling
book, "The way things out to be" gave Ailes a specially-tailored shirt that
sports a custom collar large enough to be buttoned around Ailes' neck. 
Holding a copy of Limbaugh's best-selling book, "The way things out to be"
in his hand, Ailes described the relief he felt at actually being able to
wear a tie again.  For his part, Ailes presented Limbaugh with a copy of
the best-selling book "The way things out to be," for his collection.

Asked about their future plans, Limbaugh and Ailes said they would
honeymoon on a tramp steamer, describing the difficulty they would have
occupying a berth in the same standard size stateroom at the same time.
Following their return to New York, Ailes described their plans to create a
child saying, "we have so much to give."  When pressed on the question of
how two gay men would be able to create an offspring, Limbaugh, holding a
copy of his best-selling book "The way things out to be" in his formerly
nicotine-stained fingers answered, "Liposuction."  Adding, "after all, how
much television can we watch?"

APTV-11-10-92 0804CST<                                                      





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| Elliott Mitchell
|  Peabody College at Vanderbilt University
|  Nashville, Tenn. Home of the Grand Ole Opry
|  IN: mitcheec@ctrvax.vanderbilt.edu | BN: MITCHEEC@VUCTRVAX