HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Humor (was prejudice)
Date: 13 Dec 1992 23:25:55 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: phakt.usc.edu

In article <1ginpiINN5vp@newsman.csu.murdoch.edu.au] keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!) 
]pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler) 

I said:

]]"Plus, I think some people *deserve* pain and humiliation.  Some deserve
]]*Plenty* of it.  

Splash! said:

]Uhhh ... I disagree.  I don't feel that _anybody_ deserves pain and
]humiliation ... they might create it for themselves, but not deserve it,
]no matter how much they inflict it on others.  IMHO, of course  :-)

Impu-Sebek shrugs non-commitally (sp? I think I'm missing a t, but I'm not
sure).  "I guess I'm a little more vindictive, Splash.  There are people
in the world who are truly evil, truly beyond understanding.  I suppose if
I glory in their pain (which, again IMHO, they richly deserve), I am evil
in turn...but I never claimed to be pure in any sense.  I'm a composite of
blacks, whites, and greys.  Subject to change without notice."

"Ekho?  I would appreciate your input on this, if I am not unduly disturbing
your game.  I believe you know about vengeance, and conflict."

Impu-Sebek goes to the bar and gets a cockroach from Mike.  For those who
haven't heard of this, it's equal parts coffee liqueur, tequila, and vodka
(you can substitute gin, but it alters the taste--some don't mind, some
can't stand it), served with a glass straw and set on fire.  The 'correct'
way to drink a cockroach is to slurp it down with the straw before the flame
goes out, as Impu-Sebek demonstrates.

"Cautionary note: Three of these have been known to put six-feet men with
good tolerances out for the evening.  So get a desig. driver before trying
out this delicacy."

He grins wolfishly.

"Worth it, tho."

]]Impu-Sebek sits down, waves to Mike, and starts discussing his bar tab in low
]]tones.  He looks like he could use a loan.

Splash said:

]Now, about that tab ... might I help?
]
]Splash!  (poor in RL, rich in VR!)

"Looks like Mike and I have worked something out--but thanx anyway.  I was
really venting my frustration at money-troubles in RL; nothing critical, but
annoying.
"Hell, I'm a college student; my room and board are paid for, and that's all
I *really* need to survive...incidentals (like travel, dating, & such 
amenities) are what are going to be beyond my scope for a while...but I'll
live.  Bleah."

		th' wordster
		Impu-Sebek
-- 
Your fingers weave quick minarets      |"They robbed from the rich...and gave
Speak in secret alphabets	       |to the CRIMINALLY INSANE!" -- R&S
I light another cigarette	       |Legalize the weed NOW! CANORML
Learn to forget...                     |email: pechever@usc.edu (changing soon)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk (Mary Branscombe)
Subject: Re: humour=pain & life=imitation. (was Re: prejudice)
Reply-To: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 14:06:00 +0000


"Life is Pain, highness. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell 
you something."
MaryTail (Mary's MerryTail) has just shown Ignatz Princess Bride and 
is wedging another quote in, but....
"I remember a story (dunno where dunno when) that said that no-one 
could *invent new jokes because all humour was fixed and (?) given by 
aliens? Maybe Asimov? (Ignatz! Kitten! Help! What am I talking 
about?) The counter example ther was puns and the story claimed that 
puns are not really *funny*. They are groanable....  Tall tails and 
shaggy dog stories are the sme - incongruity, irony and the 
countering of expectations... different kind of humour from slapstick 
or from the *superb* critique of programming languages I saw today. 
That wasn't a personal attack, but it was based on ridiculing the way 
programming languages do certain things... if the programming 
languages were ethnic groups, it would be a collection of irish 
groups. A lot of humour is about making you feel good by making you 
feel superior or included in a social group rather than being 
excluded into anomie where you aren't grouped with people. Humour 
seems to me to be like poetry, it's based on shared references and 
shared experiences and it *says something you would say yourself if 
you had the words... it's about hitting nails on the head 
(irrespective of who's head the nail is on....) 
it's rarely *funny to see someone do something nice unless they're 
doing something inapproriate.... does anyone get belly laughs from 
seeing someone give someone they care about flowers? So much comedy 
and particulary satire and parody is invective... vicious or gentle, 
pointed or apparently harmless.... 
no conclusions at all about this *grin*"
MaryTail waves her merry tail, which is pink and blonde today to go 
with black leggings, black Tshirt and a big black and fuschia leather 
jacket with padded shoulders


+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| Organisation: Me? You're joking, right?   |maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk |
|                                           |maryb@cix.compulink.uucp  |
|I know I type "teh" for "the" My fingers have their own accent ;-)    |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Winter's here at last :-) (was Re: Summer's...)
From: olson@husc8.harvard.edu (Chip Olson@somewhere.out.there)
Date: 15 Dec 92 00:49:48
Organization: Spam-On-A-Rope Inc.
In-reply-to: keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au's message of 15 Dec 92 01:45:00 GMT

In article <1gjdasINN6up@newsman.csu.murdoch.edu.au> keulen@csuvax1.csu.murdoch.edu.au (Splash!) writes:

>
>"Yipe!  Aaahhhh!  Ooh, that's better ... thanks Castellan."  The snow
>melts and evaporates within a matter of seconds.  "Ah well, it was nice
>while it lasted ... any more of that snow?  Actually, if you have enough,
>I haven't been skiing in some time  :-)"

Castellan nobly resists the urge to bury Splash in the stuff.  "We just had
the Great Nor'easter of '92 come a-rolling through... how much snow do you
need?"

--
-Chip Olson. | olson@husc.harvard.edu | ceo@{gnu.ai,silver.lcs}.mit.edu 
"These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break. These days
you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face... And when you 
do you'll know how it was meant to be..." -10,000 Maniacs, "These Are Days"



Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: second thoughts about a friendship
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 17:23:41 GMT

>Taldin's been listening quietly to this discussion for awhile...
[ snip snip ]
>"Sorry for not being more coherent.   But I just figured I'd mention
>that I've been where your friend is- self-deprecating and self-pitying.
>There is hope- and it doesn't have to be you."

  "Its real nice over here in the hot tub. Finals week, and other things, 
can cause alot of tension so I think more of us need to realx more often. 
Now if I had time to do this in RL ! " DJ.

     I hate the 'flu !

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: The end is nigh...sort of
From: pcahn@eagle.wesleyan.edu
Date: 18 Dec 92 04:38:45 EST
Organization: Wesleyan University

Rounder bursts in, looking rather harried.  His hair is wild 'neath his cap and
his clothes are dissheveled.  His eyes look slightly glazed.  "Mighty fine,
Mike, how about an Irish Creme, no, no alcohol, mebbe a coffee, no...OK make it
club soda, with a lime.  And make it a tall one."

Hey everyone!  Here I am writing writing the last paper for an undergraduate
class.  (I just have to finish my senior essay in the spring.)  Well, clearly
I'm not writing it, rather I'm procrastinating, something I do quite well.  I
have to turn in a 15-20 page research paper a mere thirty-six hours ago. 
(Mebbe the Doctor or Dalek can help me with that.)  You know, one of those
things that theoretically I had all semester to work on, while in practice I
put it off until reading week.  On Monday, all that I had was some newspaper
articles and theoretical readings from class.  Then I discovered three journal
articles on a related topic, so now I have some substance to work with.  Still
not satisfied with that, I went to find the book that came out of all of the
research in the journals, and it's on order.  That means that it will be here
sometime in January, long after I've finished the paper.  Well, regardless of
that, I'm not going to finish tonight, so I better tell the prof what's up in
the morning.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There, now I feel better.  I guess I ought to get to sleep, so I can be
presentable tomorrow.  (Not only do I have to see this prof, but I have to
explain to my dance prof why my partner and I didn't complete our outside
assignments, and I have to go to a holiday party with people from my summer
job.)

Rounder drains his club soda.

"To <<VERY>> peaceful holidays"

<<CRASH>>

Rounder
patrick cahn
PCAHN@wesleyan.edu
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: yho@bmerh806.bnr.ca (Yue-shun Ho)
Subject: Re: On shoes and ships and sealing wax, and other sundry things
Organization: Bell-Northern Research, Ottawa, Canada
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 92 20:51:01 GMT

In article <921215103230.20213402@FSU1.CC.FSU.EDU> LALFORD@FSU1.CC.FSU.EDU writes:
>
>"A few points that I would like to make, while I have your attention.  One 
>is that someone else can host the annual (well, sort of annual) New Year 
>Pizza Party.  The VPM is going to be two years old, and the party does seem 
>to be a good thing for those who stay around computers between Christmas 
>and mid-January."

Oh yes, and since I won't be around the net at that time, will someone please
  reserve an ice-cream pizza for me until I return?  Please?

yue-shun, toronto, ontario 

 
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: Re: RIP
Keywords: more
Organization: Data I/O Corporation
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 20:18:28 GMT


In article <Bz4KGA.BvA@news.cso.uiuc.edu> trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu
(Barbara Trumpinski) writes:
> kitten, tears streaming down her face, sends her glass after liralen's
> and holds  out her arms for a hug...

Liralen hugs her back gently, and some of the patron's might be shocked to
see that her eyes are completely dry.

She then turns back to the crowd.  "I have..." Liralen's smile goes
crooked, "I need some help.   I have a friend who is dying of cancer.  He
has a wife and three kids.  He will be gone in the next month or two, if
not before Christmas, even.  Anyone have any *good* ideas about what a
group of 25+ friends might be able to do for him and his family before he
goes?  I *really* could use some ideas.  We're all in too much shock to
really think of anything at the moment."

> "one of the young men who works for me is going to his third funeral
> this semester...he is from east st. louis, and black...he came away
> to college and his friends stayed behind...and they are dying
> violently. 

> why?  such a waste.

"Because they're black." says Liralen a touch remotely.  "Because there is
no where else for them to be, nothing else for them to do, no one to
emulate and no one to help them."  This time the smile is pure chrome.
"They aren't rich enough to have alt.callahan's."  

Then, seeing the hurt she causes, Liralen sighs, "It's the city, kitten.
Of the dozen friends I had from the SE side of San Diego, only four are
still alive.  Drugs, dealing, drive-by shootings, died in jail, suicide.
Because a gang is the only family they know, the only men they can look up
to.  It's changing, but too slowly for this generation to thrive or even
survive, on the most part.  Wheither or not someone is 'Right' has no 
meaning when there's a bullet to back the argument up."

"It's funny, I feel a little bit hollow in all this grief that's coming
right at this time.  I'm the only one that's dry eyed at work.  I'm the
only one that talks about it in something other than a hushed whisper.  I'm
the only one that asks, 'O.K.  Now that we *know* he's going, what can we
do to help the family with the transistion?'  Everyone's looking at me like
I'm something strange.  Maybe I am."  Liralen's smile doesn't come close
to her dark eyes, "Maybe all that death when I was younger makes it easy
for me to accept that people die and other people go on."

She looks at her hands and says quite calmly, "It's a gift I'd rather not 
have..."
-- 
Phyllis Rostykus     | "... and how you feel can make it real  | - _US_
aka Liralen Li       | Real as anything you've seen            |   Peter
li@inigo.Data-IO.com | Get a life with this dreamer's dream."  |   Gabriel
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: RIP
Keywords: more
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 14:55:07 GMT

Liralen writes:
>She looks at her hands and says quite calmly, "It's a gift I'd rather not 
>have..."
     
   "Give him Christmas early ! Let him have that joy, " DJ.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
From: HC61@lafibm.lafayette.edu (HC61000)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Dalek
Date: 17 Dec 92 18:01:48 GMT
Organization: Lafayette College
Originator: news@lafcol

Thought: How can the Dalek make a toast?
Someone better find a spare waldo.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk (Alan Ralph)
Subject: Re: Dalek has entered the building
Reply-To: mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Distribution: world
X-Mailer: cppnews $Revision: 1.20 $
Organization: Chez MonTemplar, Redunser
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 00:05:42 +0000

In article <1992Dec14.222954.18495@husc3.harvard.edu> djsnyder@husc10.harvard.edu (David Snyder) writes:
>The Dalek will be more than happy to remove his weapon arm, but will require
>some assistance as his other manipulator isn't up to the task.
>However, as having only his suction arm and eye stalk makes him feel
>unbalanced, he will require a new appendage.  He kindly (kindly for a 
>Dalek that is) asks for suggestions that fit the spirit of the Place.
>
>The Dalek

Well, considering the number of puns flying around, a high-velocity peanut
dispenser would be a good start... :-)

--
Alan Ralph, AKA Kimberley MonTemplar (when in alt.callahans)
aralph@cix.compulink.co.uk  OR  mtemplar@redunser.demon.co.uk
Cominatcha' c/o Demon Internet Services - Internet for a tenner+VAT a month!
Note: redunser is NOT associated with any other site of demon.co.uk
From: pechever@phakt.usc.edu (The Heckler)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: So much for dramatic exits.
Date: 11 Dec 1992 21:53:42 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: phakt.usc.edu

In article <1992Dec11.041557.21233@atlantis.uucp] aaron@atlantis.uucp writes:
]There is a bit of an embarrassed cough and Alfvaen shimmers back into
]existence, a look of relief on his face.  "Well, that wasn't very long, was
]it?
]
]"At suppertime tonight, I got a phone call from a guy named Dan Berry.
]Sherwood, the sysadmin at Space Physics, put me in touch with him, because he
]runs a UUCP site called Atlantis off of his home NeXT, from a feed at the
]University.  And he was receptive to the idea of giving me an account...  So,
]boom.  I had an account.
]
]"So here I am, back again.  I'm not quite sure how email to me works...perhaps
]those more knowledgeable about UUCP sites could say.  But I think that bouncing
]it off of uunet.uu.net will work, or for that matter bouncing it off
]ualberta.ca somewhere.  My feed won't be instantaneous, either, but still
]better than nothing.
]
]"There are still a bunch of old messages from Sep. 3-9, Oct. 14, and Nov. 18
]on disk here, as well as more recent ones from up to a week ago.  Very strange,
]if you ask me.  I hope those aren't all the time the newsfeed's been
]functional here...but, then, beggars can't be choosers.
]
]"Hey!  I'm back!  My anticipated bout of with newsfeed deprivation is cut
]quite short!  Whee!!!!!"  Alfvaen goes into a jig of glee and celebration, and
]only stops when he snags a glass from Mike, chugs it and holds it high.  "To
]Usenet and UUCP!"  The glass crashes into the fireplace and explodes in blue
]flame.  Denizens of the Place wrinkle their noses at the smell of ozone...
]
]--
]---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
]Current Album--ABBA:Super Trouper
]Current Read--Poppy Z. Brite:Lost Souls
]-- 
]---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
]Current Album--ZZ Top:Greatest Hits
]Current Read--Poppy Z. Brite:Lost Souls

Impu-Sebek gapes at Alfvaen for a full thirty seconds, then slowly begins
to collapse.  Concerned citizens rush to his inert form, then realize the
moaning noises are actually braying laughter.

"BWA-HA-HAAAH!!!"
"HAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!"
*snicker*
"HAHA!"
*chortle*
*sniff*

"Ah.  Ooooh...that's rich...after all the drama I go through, posting
drawn out farewells, and everyone in the Place toasts you...you're BACK??"

Impu-Sebek runs up to Alfvaen, dumps a mug of cold cocoa all over him, and
hugs him.

"Welcome back!"

Impu-Sebek
damn that was funny

-- 
Your fingers weave quick minarets      |"They robbed from the rich...and gave
Speak in secret alphabets	       |to the CRIMINALLY INSANE!" -- R&S
I light another cigarette	       |Legalize the weed NOW! CANORML
Learn to forget...                     |email: pechever@usc.edu (changing soon)
From: ml5a+@andrew.cmu.edu (Mark Beirne Lively)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Utopiae (Was: Amanda wants to be a Kesh)
Date: 13 Dec 92 20:36:08 GMT
	<Dec13.051252.71586@yuma.ACNS.ColoState.EDU>
Organization: Sophomore, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

Excerpts from netnews.alt.callahans: 13-Dec-92 Utopiae (Was: Amanda
wants .. Alan Smith@lamar.ColoSta (1000)

> "SO," Those who had fallen asleep suddenly snap awake, their note-taking 
> instincts coming back, "Call For Discussion: Favorite Mythological areas and
> cultures.  Where, Who, What.  Give virtues.  For extra credit, create your
> OWN area."

My fantasy land.  hmm, perhaps sort of an old west sort of thing or the
space westerns, or what it is all based on the tales of Knights errant. 
The virtues protection of the weak, rehabilition or destruction of the
opressors, honesty, loyalty, and helpfulness towards those in need.  All
I want is transporation, a good friend (preferably female) and a sunset
to ride into.

> Big Al wonders if anyone had listened.

I did.

--
The writers are gifted.  The story has been lifted -Tiny Toons
Reality is a mild halucinogen and I think its starting to wear off.-Me
ML5A@andrew.cmu.edu Bear aka the Lord High Rulebender
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: rcb33483@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (ArchTeryx)
Subject: Re: Aye, there be Dragons... 
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 15:57:39 GMT

youngj4@rpi.edu  writes:


>'to the Little_Blue critter who's made sure I'm never alone
> in this world.  This is two; may there be many more,
> Suds.'

>'But big little blue dragons do.   Thanks for being here,
>Suds.  Thanks for choosing me.'

><< The dragons know. >>

>'Aye...
>  
>  ..happy birthday, Sudrith!'

>>> CRASH! <<

><< Reverse telepathy. :P >>

ArchTeryx smiles, and cannot resist taking time out of his busy finals week
schedule to wish Sudrith, a dragon he has known for a very long time (along
with his Rider), a happy hatchday!

He gives the big blue head a hug and an eyeridge skritch, then does the same,
in slightly different form, to his rider. :>

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R. Cody Buchmann                             ^.^  
  "ArchTeryx"                          "Hiss!  You *deliberately* dodged!" 
email: rcb33483@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu       "But Sire, I...please..." 
       rcb33483@sumter.cso.uiuc.edu    "Stop snivelling and stand still!!"
                                       *thwap!* -- Robin Hood
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: dbriggs@zia.aoc.nrao.edu (Daniel Briggs)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Skydiving, a poem for Tom
Date: 17 Dec 92 11:13:08 GMT
Organization: National Radio Astronomy Observatory, Socorro NM

[It's worth another look through]

In article <1992Dec15.191235.19200@e2big.mko.dec.com>
  pel@maximo.enet.dec.com (Phillip E lujan) writes:
>
>SKYDIVING
>
>To be set free of
>the heavy load of
>gravity; carried into
>the sky and cast out, like a
>fledgling eagle from parents' nest:
>
>Then, as leaflike you
>drift earthward, for the
>moment featherlight; touching
>a cloud, knowing it's wetness
>as you would know your lover's touch:
>
>Seeing mother earth
>rushing up at you,
>yet you take time to wonder
>at her beauty; emerald
>and azure mingled with the browns:
>
>The glory of flight:
>Falling free, outside
>the boundaries of the world
>until at last, slender cords
>jerk you safely back to yourself.
>
>Sean Roberts

Thank you, Sean.  I really encourage you to post this on rec.skydiving.
If you like, I'll do it for you, but it would be a nice way to introduce
yourself.  :)  Someday, I hope that you can see for yourself how close
you came.

Cheers, and thanks for Tom Piras, too.

Dan'l

-- 
| Daniel Briggs  (dbriggs@nrao.edu)                      |  USPA B-14993
| New Mexico Tech / National Radio Astronomy Observatory |      DoD #387
| P.O. Box O / Socorro, NM 87801   (505) 835-7391        | 
Support the League for Programming Freedom   (info from lpf@uunet.uu.net)
From: jane@soave.swdc.stratus.com (Jane Beckman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: It's a girl!
Date: 18 Dec 92 00:06:59 GMT
Organization: Stratus Computer, Inc., San Jose, CA

Jilara raises her glass.  "And to the Mothers, who do all the
work, while the infant gets all the glory!"  (She has noted
that this was a LONG labor.)

--
  Jilara   [jane@swdc.stratus.com]

"The field of pseudo-science hasn't progressed much in ten
years, except to gain access to the net." --from ca.earthquakes
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk (Mary Branscombe)
Subject: Re: Dalek has entered the building
Reply-To: maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 16:46:00 +0000


Hello Dalek...
I think you may find that that long tube sticking out will work just 
like my mum's new milk frother... just suck instead of blowing!
Can you fire peanuts out of it? 
Mary and a merrytail
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+
| Organisation: Me? You're joking, right?   |maryb@cix.compulink.co.uk |
|                                           |maryb@cix.compulink.uucp  |
|I know I type "teh" for "the" My fingers have their own accent ;-)    |
+-------------------------------------------+--------------------------+

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu (Jimmy Malcolm Pierce)
Subject: Re: Special Limited Offer!!!
Organization: University of Southern Mississippi
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 14:20:48 GMT

kitten writes:
><CRASH!!!!!> kitten sends her glass flying after c+'s...."hooray!
>sometimes this Place is the only thing that has kept me going!  shared
>pain, shared joy...a chosen family...i love you all..."

   <crash!!> DJ, Linda, and Robbie.

-- 
         Jim Pierce Bach. of Sci. in Applied Computer Science USM 
             jmpierce@whale.st.usm.edu  Disclaimer: Standard.
                   Video. Cher: Love and Understanding.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans