From: fredw@mks.com (Fred Walter)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Various ramblings...
Date: 17 Aug 92 22:56:08 GMT
Organization: Mortice Kern Systems Inc., Waterloo, Ontario, CANADA

kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
>As has been pointed out numerous times already, I think I ate my foot
>when I said that most women require the guy to have money, and pointed to
>the "financially stable" requirements so often seen in personals.
>It was pointed out that they're more likely looking to avoid freeloaders.
>But it does make me wonder: are there so many freeloading guys out there,
>who would use and abuse the resources of the lady like that?  So many that
>"financially stable" is seen in almost every personal ad written by a
>female?  If so, why don't they just say "no freeloaders"?

Because they'd rather say something positive "financially stable" than
something negative "no freeloaders" because they'd rather be perceived
as positive thinking gold-diggers than as negative thinking women who've
had enough problem relationships in the past to make a special note of it.

Like, if you were posting a personals add, would you write :

	"No violent and/or psychotic mental cases need apply."

or would you write :

	"healthy, both physically and mentally is a must"

>It has been pointed out to me, via email, that one of the possible reasons
>I have so much trouble getting dates is my overwhelming concern for
>correctness, and that this concern is so obvious in my postings that it
>may have blown any possibility of meeting potential partners through the net

Don't worry about this. Some people realize that the net persona can be
very different from the real-world persona. Plus your articles are expired
so someone that starts reading next week won't know anything about you.

>Approaching a woman I find attractive without
>knowing what I'm doing is an excellent way of getting the lesson again.
>Before you say that there's not much to lose in that, consider that I
>managed to lose a job that way

Well, now you know. Don't approach women where you work for relationships.
You have too much to lose. (Or you could only work in places where you
won't be tempted IE. all the women are either married or 10-15 years older
than you and look like your mom. Not that I know anyone working in such
a place, no sir, not me :-)

>At least I haven't gotten myself killed yet.

Optimist ! :-)

>So I don't believe in any sort of afterlife, nor do I believe in any
>sort of universal justice.  This has two primary effects: it means that
>I'll go to very great lengths to prevent harm to myself,

Prevent physical harm... but how do you (emotionally) feel about yourself ?
(I've been in situations where I did something that could have resulted in
 my being physically harmed, but not doing anything was leading to emotional
 turmoil which was not going away, so I decided to take the risk to
 clear up my mental state).

>I have only a very small window of opportunity to get things right.

Huh ?

>I can't get things right unless I do the right things, and I can't do the
>right things unless I know what I'm doing, and that means I have to be
>*correct*.

And you can't really know what you're doing unless you have experience at
it. And you can't really have experience at it unless you've done it.
And ... opps, this seems to be a circular argument that is getting nowhere...

>I hit junior high school, at which point everyone becomes mean for some reason

Kids don't become mean, they always are mean. Emphathy is something that
many children lack until they've matured to some extent.

>but it's going to require me to work 60 hours a week instead of the current
>40, so it's not a raise or anything, just a greater work opportunity.

That's some great work opportunity... NOT. 60 hours a week plus commute time
plus sleep time plus eating/bathroom time = not much time to do personal-type
fun stuff. There's a point to it if you really enjoy what you're doing, or
it'll only be for a short period of time; otherwise you'll burn out.

>From the point of view of a potential mate, this probably doesn't look
>very promising.  :-(   I'm holding my own, but it's not easy.  I have
>some money to spare for putting into a relationship, but not a lot.

Do you have the time to put into a relationship ?

>physical condition, which for me is relatively poor 6'3" tall, weigh 220 lbs

Are you close enough to work to try bicycling to work ? Or do you do anything
that could (with some change) be made into exercise ?

You know, for someone that has difficulty trusting, telling the world
(ok, only 90,000 people, but still that's alot) so much about your personal
life and finances seems ... trusting. (I would never post my salary to the
net; heck I won't even tell most of my friends how much I make, even though
some of them are really hurt by my refusal. Though why they should care about
my income is beyond me).

	fred
-- 
Disclaimer: everything I write is my *personal* opinion and does not represent
or reflect the opinion of the company which employs me.
Newsgroups: soc.singles