From: goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python
Subject: Re: Chemistry (was Re: physics humor)
Date: 7 Nov 92 18:25:18 GMT
Organization: Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, KY

In article <ins450m.721098787@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au>, ins450m@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (T.F. Eccles) writes:
> goffgb@wkuvx1.bitnet writes:
> 
>>In article <1992Nov2.105206.12246@aber.ac.uk>, aep@aber.ac.uk (Andrew Pagett) writes:
>>> 
>>> 	In article <1992Oct29.150257.19288@DIALix.oz.au> 
>>> 	meetch@DIALix.oz.au (Mitchell Brandsma) did say :
>>> 
>>> [a little bit thrown mercilessly into a vat of boiling lemon curry]
> [stirred up with a sprig of parsely of course]
> 
>>> ->[lots and lots of stuff dissolved in a highly toxic solution comprising lemon
>>> -> curry, bits of a comfy chair and a Spring Surprise.]
>>> ->
>>> Wow, what a lethal mixture, sounds like the sort of stuff that you
>>> could definitely use as the `universal solvent'
>>> 
>>> But then what do I know about chemistry ????
> 
> i know lots. Do _not_ keep an open flame near pure hydrogen
> and oxygen -> leads to no eyebrowss.
>>> 
>>> ->>So how do you define Gina?
>>> ->
>>> Meetch aka an unknown quantity.
>>> Pag aka well OK, but surely there should be a range in which it lies :)
> 
>>Sure, I lie within a range. CAn you find me? 
> You up a mountain?
>>> 
>>> PS, maybe this ought to go to sci.chemisty :)
> 
>>NOW WAIT A MINUTE !!!!!
>>I'd like to see what you know about interrelational chemistry, as in
>>between males and females. As in between you and me. YOu know, body
>>chemistry.
> 
>> 
>> 			 WORKPLACE
>> 
>> 		    HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS
>> 
>> 		    INFORMATION  SYSTEM
>> 
>> 		MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
>> 		--------------------------
>> 
>> 		WOMAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>     ELEMENT:	Woman
>>      SYMBOL:	WO2
>>  DISCOVERER:	Adam
>> ATOMIC MASS:	Accepted at 55 kg but been known to vary from 40 to 240 kg.
>>  OCCURRENCE:	Copious quantities in all urban areas
>> 
>> 
>> PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
>> -------------------
>> 1.  Surface usually covered with a painted film.
>> 2.  Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
>> 3.  Melts if given special treatment.
>> 4.  Bitter if incorrectly used.
>> 5.  Found in various states ranging from virgin to common ore.
>> 
>> 
>> CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
>> -------------------
>> 1.  Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
>> 2.  Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
>> 3.  May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
>> 4.  Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in 
>>     alcohol.
>> 5.  Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
>> 
>> 
>> COMMON USES
>> -----------
>> 1.  Highly ornamental, especially in sports car.
>> 2.  Can be a great aid to relaxation.
>> 
>> 
>> TESTS
>> -----
>> 1.  Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
>> 2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
>> 
>> 
>> HAZARDS
>> -------
>> 1.  Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
>> 2.  Illegal to posess more than one.
>> 3.  If commonly used for relaxation may produce ankle biters.
>> 
>> 
> 
> 
> 						Griffin.
> 						  _____)
> 					       <-' (aka James)
> 
no, I'm not up a mountain. I'm rather down-to-earth. Now that you
displayed a chemical knowledge of a woman, can you give a physical
description? Of me? No? Well, then, why don't you invite me down to
your lab and I can educate you in the properties of a really dangerous
and extremely enduring specimen of a beautiful female that makes all
the others turn green?
						Gina, no aka necessary
Newsgroups: alt.fan.monty-python