From: kgatling@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Keith E Gatling)
Subject: Re: Homeschooling?
Organization: Manlius Pebble Hill School; Dewitt, NY
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 92 23:26:35 EDT

Okay, let me clear a few things up.  Just because I loved school didn't mean
that I had a totally blissful, trouble free existence.

First of all, I was one of the two skinniest kids in my class, and so Nancy
(the other kid) and I were always being beaten up on by someone.  It was
sort of like odd even rationing...if it was an odd day, it was my turn to be
victim, if it was an even day, it was Nancy's.  I hated those months that
had 31 days.

I was also one of the class nerds, which brought its share of abuse, but
maybe I was a little advanced for my time in my thinking, because while I
was going through all this I figured that in a few years the very kids who
were picking on me would realize that I had it right all along and I'd be
vindicated when they eventually changed their ways.  Turns out that my
sister met one of the kids who used to pick on me years later...  he's
become an engineer.

I also learned a few things from being picked on.  First of all, I learned
that you have to learn to solve some of your problems yourself, that the
more you drag your parents into it, the more problems you'll have until the
rest of the kids know that you're able to stand on your own two feet.  This
is something we're going to explain to our kids when they want us to get
actively involved in solving a problem they're having with some other kid.

Another thing is that while many people who know me now have a real hard
time believing this, I was exceptionally dweeby when I was a kid...you know,
the one with the bookbag, did all the extra credit questions, and didn't
have a social skill in the world.  I think that as a result of being picked
on by other kids for being so dweeby, I eventually learned what does and
doesn't work in life, and that book learning isn't everything.  There was
one kid at SU who made me think of what I might have been had I not been
cured of excessive dweebiness, who refused to come out of his very small Mr.
Peabody world and deal with the rest of us on a normal basis.  He couldn't
understand why, despite having a technically great resume, no one would hire
him for a student consulting position...he couldn't seem to grasp the fact
that he had no social skills or that they were at least as important as the
technical skills.  And this kid came from the Bronx...I wonder how he
survived (maybe they just thought he was too weird, and left him alone).

No...I'm not sure I want a totally threat-free environment for my kids.
They have to learn to deal with life's challenges, and the fact that life
isn't always fair or nice.  Okay, so I don't want them somewhere where
they're in constant fear for their lives, but the occasional bloody nose is
a part of growing up and learning how you should or shouldn't react to a
certain situation.

The grade school I went to was tracked, so we had four of each grade.  As a
result we had an interesting caste system.  Remember I told you that Nancy
and I were alternate victims?  Well this only applied to our particular
class.  Only people in Miss Murphy's class could pick on us.  If someone
from any other third grade were to hassle us, the very bullies in our own
class who would normally pick on us would come to our defense because we
were one of them.  Sort of like brothers and sisters...they'll snipe at each
other until some outsider gets into the act...then they're a unified front
against the third party.

No, my school experience wasn't always blissful and trouble free...but I
loved it anyway...and can't imagine it any different.

--
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* Keith E Gatling                                  kgatling@mailbox.syr.edu *
*          Opinions?  I've got plenty of them.  Just ask my wife!           *
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Newsgroups: misc.kids