From: ins448c@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au (Andrew Mills)
Newsgroups: alt.prose,alt.religion.kibology.alt.fan.gooley,alt.sex.stories
Subject: Re: Baiting the Abyssmal Quandry
Date: 11 Oct 92 14:51:48 GMT
Organization: Monash University
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]

Matt Welsh (mdw@theory.TC.Cornell.EDU) wrote:
: 
: I took the elevator to the sixth floor of the Electrical Engineering and
: Supernatural Studies building (two closely related fields). The door to
: the lift opened into the fires of Hell, and the little bell "pinged" 
: happily for me. I stepped off and was ushered by none other than Beelzebub
: himself to the gates of Hades, where I was destined to spend eternity.
: And all I wanted to do was grab a quick hotdog at the stand on sixth! Well,
: I was getting a hotdog allright, one with everything on it... Beelzebub
: got a burger and fries and we stood around for a bit, sweltering in the
: demonic inferno, munching on our food with genuine impunity. A horsefly
: landed on the devil's nose, and he brushed it off with a flick of his
: pitchfork, muttering an oath under his breath about "the damned exterminators".
: 
: His best friend, Slippy the Gelatinous Cube, squabbled over and started to
: suck on my foot. I nearly heaved at the sight of the ancient warrior's
: bones locked in the clear gooey mess, forever digesting; I decided to 
: meander off before I joined them with the innards of Slippy. I had but a
: single complaint to deliver to the keepers of the Fire-Pit: which was
: they were not warning children not to dive into the shallow end. After filling
: out the forms in triplicate, signing my soul away to the Bank of Phlegathon,
: and getting the proper stamp of approval in virginal sheep's blood, I was
: ready to move onto the next window. The teller was dead, and obviously
: had been so for the past two weeks or so. Sensing a possible delay, I 
: decided to sit down on the paisley couch to take a load off, only to discover
: that the couch in question had been removed to the offices in Westboro,
: Massachusetts for reupholstry and reeducation. 
: 
: The liberal train of thought carried by most couches these days was enough to 
: boggle any split-brained mammologist... the coup de grace to standard theories 
: of furniture psychology being dealt in favor of this squandring group of 
: davenports. 
: 
: I was but a bird in the mouth of the metaphorical alligator, picking out
: bits of food symbiotically... and yet, I had a certain sense of 
: incompleteness... as if this wasn't all there was to living a happy
: productive life as metallurgist. I was required to contend with my pitiful
: situation, like an itch I couldn't scratch-- like eating half a bag of
: potato chips and still being hungry-- like waking up from the middle
: of a great dream and wanting to continue with the sequel in subsequent nights,
: but not being able to find the right place in the videotape because your
: little brother taped over it with G.I. Joe. My brain was the phloem of
: thought, ideas seeping by osmosis, ever so slowly, into the far dry reaches
: of the cerebrum. Imagination was something like a tiny frosted cake, sitting
: in the open window on a summer's day, growing stale and warm, molding.
: 
: Maybe the cafe was on the fifth floor. After pondering an existence without
: intravenous drug injections, I decided to find the elevator again. Of
: course the sign next to the door said "out of order... go to hell".
: 
: mdw
: 
: -- 
: Matt Welsh    mdw@tc.cornell.edu        +1 607 253 2737
: Systems Programmer, Cornell Theory Center
:   "Yow! Up ahead! It's a DONUT HUT!!"

Excuse me for sounding like a philistine, but:

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS CRAP HAVE TO DO WITH SEX ?

 ___________________________________ _________________________________________
<                                   |                                         >
<                big                |  Young Crone : "How did you know that?" >
<         (aka Andrew Mills)        |                                         >
<                                   |  Black Adder : "Just a wild stab in     >
<         can be found at :         |    the dark.  Which, incidentally, is   >
<                                   |    what you'll be getting if you're     > 
<     big@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au     |    not a bit more helpful !"            >
<___________________________________|_________________________________________>
Newsgroups: alt.prose