From: rick@sadtler.com (Rick Morris)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: Re: DOOL: TAN: Multiple Responses
Date: 19 Aug 92 12:37:15 GMT
Organization: Sadtler Research Laboratories

The Quince writes:
>Guavita replies:
>>     Hmmm....Does this mean that when I get married in November
>>I'll lose my sense of humor?  Cory, let's call it off! :-)
>>I'm kinda curious about this remark, Rick.
>>

I seem to occasionally lose messages.  I missed this one or I would
have replied sooner...

>Guavita, my dear, it's amazing what a little piece of paper hanging on the
>wall can do to some relationships.
>          ...
>There are a lot of factors that come into play when a relationship takes any
>turns at all.
>

I used to have a joke about a relationship before and after marrage.

SHE (gently caressing his neck with both hands):  "Oh I like your friend!
     Oh I think that's soooo cute.  Oh, have another beer.  Oh, I like
     that music you listen to also!"

SHE (the grip tightens):  "Oh lets get married.  Of course you can have
     your friends.  Of course you can keep your bottlecap collection..."

SHE (after marrage and the grip is stifling): "Oh you don't want to visit
     that friend, do you?  He's such a bad influence.  Oh throw out that
     old desk you brought from home.  We can buy a new one.  I threw
     out that old bottlecap collection.  You never look at it!"

What happens is that the new partner (and I speak from a male perspective
here.  I'm sure it works both ways) gets jealous of the life before
her.  If the history didn't include her, she wants it OUTTA THERE.
Marrage requires a commitment BY BOTH PARTNERS to
   1)  Give up what was yours alone.
   2)  Accept what was hers/his alone.

So, why do marrages fail so often today?  Men REQUIRE their women to accept
them WITHOUT CHANGE.  "I ain't changing for NO CHICK, man!"  Men on the
other hand require the woman to change.  Many women won't stand for it
anymore.  I hope you, little shrub, demand respect from this guy you are
marrying.  Don't let him get away with any of this male stuff like
requiring you to have dinner on the table after you worked all day just
like him.  Like not helping clean the house.  Like demanding his night
out with the boys while you have to stay home and watch the kids.
And that goes for the rest of you out there.  It changes after marrage.
The grip gets real tight, and it's for the rest of your life.  Like
The Quince says, that piece of paper really makes a difference.

On the other hand, I'm coming up on anniversary #10.  I lived through
the above senerio.  And survived.  And survived 2 infants.  And right
now the marrage is better than ever.

Okay all you R.E.M. fans, hold your ears...

At this point Barry Manalow's "I Made It Through The Rain" takes on
a whole new meaning.


>I just noticed that you referred your question to Rick......I hope you don't
>mind a little input from another......I just figured you wouldn't :-)
>

I don't mind.  Please, jump in anytime.  (I tend to talk myself into
messes sometimes!)

-Rick.

PS.  Talking of "I Made It Through The Rain", remind me to tell you
     my philosophy of adolesence someday.  It's a good one!
-- 
Rick Morris                            Email:  rick@sadtler.com
Sadtler Research Labs, Philadelphia   -But I speak for myself
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