From: kk@nic.funet.fi (Kimmo Koistinen)
Subject: Some views about satanism
Organization: Finnish University and ResearcH Network, FUNET
Date: 11 Jan 93 15:51:00


   I have followed this group for few months now, and decided to post something
about my personal views about satanism.

   My first experience with the darker side forces was when I was 14. My life
was quite a mess and before that I have been quite devoted xtian. Thinking 
about those times I can only say that I had no guts to take a firm grip to my
own life, I just followed blindly every word god said. Even swearing caused
me to think about how this person's soul should be "saved" and so on. 

   My parents, especially my father, has studied occult for many years (about
20 now, and knows a lot of things but isn't interested in BBS's or Internet
in general). Those times were hard for me, for all of the prayers I made did
not help me out of the marsh I was sinking into. Secretly I went to study the
mantras my father had, and began to alter them to my own ways. Few days I 
prayed satan by saying backwards some common prayers and replacing "god"
with "Satan". Few days after this I had a quite wierd dream. In that dream I
was standing at the bottom of the stairs and staring at the mirror. Lot's of
smoke was everywhere and I couldn't see what was in the mirror. After concen-
tarating to mirror I at last saw something there - that was me, but with 
horns and trident in hand, pointing at me saying "you belong to me". That
dream was the beginning of the introduction to my darker side. I left god and
Jesus to their own value and prayed Satan every night. 

   More about my life continues, I have to make this clear so people understand
my views and things about life. 

   Depression stroke me very hard and those days I thought about things, picked
up information from many places. I thought a lot of these things and few weeks
ago I came upon a conclusion that made my path clear. 

   First of all, Satan isn't the only powerful force of evil. There is Belse-
bub, lord of lies, Satan, who represents suffering and fire, Lucifer who 
represents enlightement and freedom, and Leviyathan who represents universum
as whole. To reach the point where Lucifer at last brings the light to life and
gives deeper understanding about ways of life and answer to question WHY, 
one must travel through the paths of Satan and Belsebub.

   In my life, Belsebub represented the confusion about what was true and what
wasn't. (about views of what forces are helpful and what are just limiting and
for weak) Satan represented depression. Lucifer represents the freedom from 
strict and life-limiting moral code of christianity, which I have, after many
years of thinking about things I have reached at last. 

   Darkness can exist without light, but light can't exist without darkness.
Ultimately whole universe doesn't work at lower level by the means of human
logic, which can be proved by studying physics. (Quantum mechanics especially)
There isn't straight line between light and darkness. Personally I think that
good and evil are represented in rectangle, which other side is blinding 
bright and other side is so dark, that it is impossible to see things when 
you are there. Both ends limit vision. Between the zones of light and darkness
there is always this area which isn't dark but isn't blinding bright. This is
the zone where I have come in my life. 

  Christian can be emotionally trapped when he is in blinding light, and so
can be satanist, when he accepts to limit his studies about satanism to level
where all his satanistic beliefs limit to drawing upside-down crosses to 
concrete walls. However, satanist is in better position to reach the grey 
zone in life and be free from the emotional trap. Student of white magic 
isn't exactly trying to free himself from this emotional trap but rather 
become one with this brightness/light. Satanist/student of black magics is
(or rather, I am, because I don't know any other satanists but some of the
readers of this area) trying to be in position, where he is free from the
emotional traps and can view universe just as it is, without blinding light
or blinding darkness. 

   Personally I have been in both ends and now, granted by the influence of
Lucifer, I am now advancing towards higher understanding of life. Perhaps
my goal is same as the setians, perhaps not. I haven't so far read their 
ideas with thought, and I am not ready to tie myself up to any organization.

   That's it. I'm looking forward to hear whether here are any other persons
who think like me, or found these thoughts familiar. 
 
  I
  I  - Dominus
--+--
  I 

   
From: Hassan@f88.n106.z1.fidonet.org (Hassan)
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