From: grob@chorus.fr (Lori S. Grob)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: What do you do when your child thinks Metallica is cool?
Date: 12 Nov 92 11:31:33 GMT

In article <1992Nov11.204045.12630@wdl.loral.com>, hgs@wdl1.wdl.loral.com (Harry Salvini) writes:
> In article <nestabro.721489742@nova>, nestabro@nova.gmi.edu (Noel Estabrook) writes:
> > 
> > math1rb@jane.uh.edu (92F07486) writes:
> > 
> > > Well what I say is let your kid listen to what they want. Take an interest
> > >in it, after all he'll listen to it just to spite ya. Like someone once
> > >said some of the most christian people they knew weren't Christians.
> > 
> > Yeah, and if he wants to go out and have sex, buy him condomes.  (Yes, I 
> > realize this is sarcasm, and I ask for forgiveness in advance, but 
> > Scripture teaches us to "train up our child in the way he should go", not
> > let him go out and do what he wants, especially if we know it could be
> > harmful.
> 
> A couple of years ago, I attended a seminar about music by Al Minccioni (sp?)
> at a local church (Fremont, CA Assembly of God).
> 
> His talk was very thought provoking in that he mentioned a GAP between the
> "older" and "younger" generations.  If I tell my teenager that he can't
> listen to some particular music, or can't do something, that will generally
> produce some type of rebellion, which won't solve the problem.
> 
> On the other hand, as Noel states, when we "train up our child", that must
> be done while he is yet a young child, not influenced by the "world".
> 
> My suggestion is to go over the music with him/her, reading the words and ask
> the question: "is this what you want to live by?", and if so, discuss why you
> disagree.
> 
> The point is, keep the communication open, don't be a stumbling block in your
> kids mind.
> 
> +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
> | -+-  hgs@wdl1.wdl.loral.com -- Kathy's Hubby & Jonathan's Daddy  O O |
> |  |    BTW: LORAL doesn't have anything to do with my opinions.    v  |
> |  |               I came up with them all on my own.              \_/ |
> +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

I guess there are two aspects to this that come to mind.
When I was a child and young teenager my parents never
censored what I read or listened to. I was and am an avid
reader. I remember a mother of a friend asking, "I hope your
parents don't let you read X?", where X was pretty harmless.
The idea of my parents LETTING or not LETTING me read something
was remarkable to me. The result of this was that I went through a 
short period during my early teens of reading trashy books. But in
general it got boring pretty quickly and I began to read what I
still read today non-fiction, history and classics.

I had a chance to develop my interests and even as a child was
allowed and abetted to take books out of the non-children's part
of the library. So if I got interested in a subject I was free  to
try and follow it up. I also was allowed to read books that were
"over my head". I think that this was very important to me.

The other thing in terms of music is to separate the music from
the lyrics.  Many  teenagers can like a band or a song without
believing that the lyrics represent a worthwhile value system.
Its certainly possible that your children who "like" bands that you
find objectionable fall into  that catagory. They may be more
or less ignoring the lyrics. 

There are lots of examples of rock and folk music that come
to mind where its possible to like the music but not find 
the life style endorsed by the band to be worthwhile. I
suspect that many kids think that its all part of the showbiz
presentation.

After all I love opera and musical theatre, but that  doesn't mean
 that I think any of the characters in my favorite operas
or musicals where leading lives that I would want to lead.

I think that you can explore with your child what they find 
appealing about the music.  You may find that that the things
that concerned you about it are of no attraction to them at 
all.

The important thing is to not make a passing curiousity or interest
that their own good sense will make them grow out of into a major
point of rebellion.
--
L.S. Grob
Chorus syste`mes			phone +33-1-30-64-82-17
6 avenue Gustave Eiffel			fax   +33-1-30-57-00-66	
F78182 Saint Quentin-en-Yvelines	email grob@chorus.fr	
--------