From: gordon@Stars.Reston.Unisys.COM (Del Gordon)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.brewing
Subject: Real People Drink Real Beer
Date: 26 Aug 92 19:17:40 GMT
Reply-To: gordon@owl.stars.reston.unisys.com.UUCP (Del Gordon)
Organization: Software Technology for Alternate Reality Synthesis (STARS)

/-/ello:

        Since there's been some discussion recently on the
  sociological aspects of brewing (thereby implying beer drinking) I
  thought you might enjoy this excerpt from a book by the composer
  Frank Zappa.  I found it amusing.

        I don't completely agree with Zappa's opinions.  I think he
  should try homebrewing, that might alter his views about beer.  It's
  that mass-brewed Currs/Buttwiper stuff that has all the top-secret
  psycho-chemicals in it, not our homebrews.  For me, homebrewing (and
  drinking my homebrew) doesn't make me want to march; it makes me
  want to bake some bread.

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 Except from: 
    _The Real Frank Zappa Book_, by Frank Zappa, with Peter
    Occhiogrosso, Poseidon Press, New York, NY, 1989; (pp. 230-231).

 Note: The square brackets in the following excerpt are Zappa's, not
       mine.

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        I have a theory about beer: Consumption of it leads to
 pseudo-military behavior.  Think about it--winos don't march.
 Whiskey guys don't march, either (sometimes they write poetry, which
 is often more horrible, though).

        Beer drinkers are into things that are sort of like
 marching--like football.

        Maybe there's a chemical in beer that stimulates the [male]
 brain to do violence while moving in the same direction as other guys
 who smell like them [marching] -- "We, as a group of MEN, will drink
 this refreshing liquid, after which we will get together and beat the
 snot out of that guy over there."

        Beer seems to produce behavioral results which are
 psycho-chemically different from those produced by other alcoholic
 beverages.

        Alcohol (the part that `gets you drunk') is only one
 ingredient.  There are other things in beer, and those [herbal and/or
 biological] components could affect the [male] brain, creating this
 violent tendency.

        Go ahead and laugh.  One day you're going to read about some
 scientists discovering that hops, in conjunction with certain strains
 of `yeast creatures,' has a mysterious effect on some newly
 discovered region of the brain, making people want to kill--but only
 in groups.  (With whiskey, you might want to murder your
 girlfriend--but beer makes you want to do it with your buddies
 watching.  It's a buddy beverage--for buddy activities.)

        Think about it: ``Who IS this `Mr. Coors'?  What does HE do
 for a `good time'--and why does a man who owns a beer company need a
 `top-secret security clearance'?''  Did you see him during the
 Iran-contra hearings?  He has a top-secret security clearance.  Do
 the guys at Anheuser-Busch have the same clearance?  And when you see
 a beer commercial, besides the `buddy pitch,' don't they also throw
 in a little jingoistic, bunting-encrusted, flag-waving hoopla--the
 all-American beer syndrome?  Every major industrialized nation has A
 BEER (you can't be a Real Country unless you have A BEER and an
 airline--it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some
 nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need A BEER).

        I think the mutant behaviors exhibited by people `under the
 influence' should be studied more closely.  Gin drinkers, for
 example, are a breed apart.

        People choose an allegiance to a certain beverage.  Like
 bourbon guys--they're bourbon guys and that's it.  And scotch
 drinkers?  Forget it.  They don't want to know from `pink gin.'

        In contrast to Mr. Beer Guy, picture a guy who is religiously
 devoted to _Chateau Latour_.  Is he marching?  He ain't marching.

        --Frank Zappa, 1989

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    \/      \/      \/   Del Gordon  gordon@stars.reston.unisys.com    |><-
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.brewing,rec.food.drink,dc.dining