HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: mss2@quads.uchicago.edu (Michael S. Schiffer)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Gift Story
Date: 15 Sep 92 04:27:24 GMT
Reply-To: mss2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago Computing Organizations

In article <1992Sep14.215614.17692@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca> aaron@space.ualberta.ca writes:
>mbr2@quads.uchicago.edu (Curious Of All Natures) writes:
>: Relevant to this is a story I remember my mother telling me long long
>: ago.  Sorry I haven't retained the flowery prose, all I ever remember
>: is the gist and the symbolic stuff.  (surprise, surprise)
>: 
>: 
>: Two young lovers.  Innocent folk, romantic, very very poor.  His one
>: treasured item of value was a gold-plated pocket watch.  Hers was her
>: long, silky smooth beautiful blone hair.  
>: 
>: Christmas comes.  Neither have any money to spare to buy presents.
>: So... he pawns the watch to buy her a lovely comb.  
>: And... she sells her hair to a wigmaker to buy him an ornate
>: watchwinder.

>: A terribly sad and ironic story, yes?  No!  How wonderful it was for
>: each, to discover that the other loved them SO MUCH that they would
>: sell a most treasured belonging for their beloved's happiness.

>Alfvaen nods.  "Gifts of the Magi, O. Henry.  I always found it terribly sad
>and ironic, myself, but your interpretation throws a new light on it.  I love
>irony, myself, though...

Then, of course, there's this version:

"'The Gift of the Magi' by O. Henry:  Once upon a time there was a
couple who loved each other very much.  The woman knew that what the
man wanted more than anything else in the world was a new chain for
his fine gold watch.  The man knew that all the woman wanted was combs
for her lovely golden hair.  But they were poor and the times were
poor, and they knew that the only way to get what they wanted was
through sacrifice-- or deception.  The woman stole her husband's gold
watch and pawned it,  using the money to buy seven fine combs.  When
the man found out what she had done, he borke each comb lengthwise,
then chased the woman about the room and hacked her hair off with a
straight razor.  'Ha!' he said.  'Now I can sell your hair to the
wigmaker and get back my watch!'  'Wrong!' she said.  'Your watch has
already been sold.  My hair will grow back, but your watch is gone
forever!'  The End.

-- From "Sex Lives of Superheroes" by Stephen Gregg.  (A play which
had a brief run in Chicago last summer.  The quoted character has the
obsessive habit of rewriting love stories so they have unhappy
endings.)

Michael

-- 
Michael S. Schiffer, LHN, FCS	"Indeed I tremble for my country
mss2@midway.uchicago.edu	 when I reflect that God is just."
mike.schiffer@um.cc.umich.edu	 -- Thomas Jefferson, Notes on
mss2@usite-next.uchicago.edu     Virginia (1784)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mdm@sparc2.Prime.COM (Michael D. McAfee)
Subject: east is east, and west is west
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1992 20:39:10 GMT



		The dark elf enters Callahan's and notices a critter
	runing around the tables.  "Oh, cool!  An ocelot!"  He reaches
	down to scritch it behind the ears.

		He then listens to the discussion on cardinal directions.
	"Should we bother with eastmost and westmost points?  I mean,
	no matter where you are, there's something to the east and
	something to the west.  But you can't get any more north or
	south than at the poles.  Eastmost and westmost are probably
	meaningless on a global scale.

		"So I nominate myself as eastmost Callhanian on the
	North American continent (unless there's anyone more east than
	Boston)."

		The elf suddenly has that sinking feeling that he's just
	let another silly thread loose in the place.

	Michael, the Chaotic
	disclaimer:  someday, this post will be used as a model of how
			opinions are not shared between posters and
			employers
From: JBrandt@AAA.UOregon.EDU (Jay Brandt)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Ocelot pun
Date: 15 Sep 1992 00:48:38 GMT
Organization: University of Oregon, Architecture

<Thyra speaks up from her table as the puns about ocelots begin to fly
about the place.>

Here's one! When two Ocelots dance, it's -Oscilation_, right?

<She ducks under the table and shifts to the shape of a white small persian
kitten, with a black velvet bow around her neck. She's a harder target to
hit that way, and who'd really want to hit such a cute kitten? She jumps
into StM's lap and starts to purr.>

:-)
<Jason>
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: The Nightstalker returns (and delurks)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 11:22:40 GMT



>The doors of Callahans fly open, and a familiar figure in black leather
>enters with a grin on his face.  The Nightstalker has returned!  He makes
>his way to the bar and orders a VB (Australian beer).

[   ]

>"For better or worse, I am back.  It is funny, I live (during the day that is),
>on the floor under Shonias and DM but hardly see them these days.  Hi there
>you two, how are things.  Hi Carole!  The woman with *the* most exciting dress
>sense.  Where is my little Didi-sprite??  Hi there Stumpy, good to see you in
>RL.  Hi everyone!"

>The Nightstalker makes the old and worn path to the chalkline, and raises his
>glass.

>"To Callahan's, a little bit of home in the maze of VR!"

><crash>

kitten rises up and stretches (almost time to go out and chase a bus)
and gives nightstalker a big hug...."welcome back."

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: scottm@intime.intime.com (Scott Michel)
Subject: Re: libertarianism
Organization: -- J/24 -- Racers Home for Programmers
Distribution: alt
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 18:06:22 GMT
	@stratus.SWDC.Stratus.COM>
	<a9tn++=.aahz@netcom.com><kiran.716375575@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
	<SCOTTM.92Sep14100805@intime.intime.com>
	<0ehStPu00VpeQvkV4q@andrew.cmu.edu>

In article <0ehStPu00VpeQvkV4q@andrew.cmu.edu> Mark Beirne Lively <ml5a+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:

   Organization: Sophomore, Mechanical Engineering, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Path: intime.intime.COM!netcon!ucla-cs!usc!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!cis.ohio-state.edu!news.sei.cmu.edu!fs7.ece.cmu.edu!crabapple.srv.cs.cmu.edu!andrew.cmu.edu!ml5a+
   Newsgroups: alt.callahans
   Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 10:08:27 -0400 
   From: Mark Beirne Lively <ml5a+@andrew.cmu.edu>
   References: <1992Sep7.1202.14332@dosgate> <1992Sep7.191655.6834@cco.caltech.edu><8289.3569
    @stratus.SWDC.Stratus.COM> <a9tn++=.aahz@netcom.com><kiran.716375575@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu>
	   <SCOTTM.92Sep14100805@intime.intime.com>
   Distribution: alt
   Lines: 29


>I'm not so sure that the 'public' cries out for more regulation, just those
>who are in "responsible" positions (and wanna-be's) who cry out for it. It
>definitely comes about from two attitudes. One is that people cannot be
>trusted to take care of themselves, as if we've not been able to do that for
>the last 25,000 or so years. The other is that we can create a Utopian
>universe. A case in point is obstetrics in Los Angeles County. According
>to UCLA, the reason why doctors are leaving obstetrics in LA is the number
>of liability and malpractice lawsuits. People actually believe that the
>reason why their baby is not perfect is that obstetrician botched the delivery
>and caused the imperfection. Not that it's not possible, but only in a very
>small number of cases. Another good example is when something good goes
>bad, especially if it's a chemical.

	   I have an interesting idea of how to help keep the costs down for
   things like this where there is rampant undeserved malpractice cases
   causing soaring healthcare costs.  Imagine an insurance company coving
   both malpractice and health care.  The payment for the malpractice
   insurance could be cheaper prices for the patients of the insuraance
   company.  There would be a large number of doctors under this plan so
   there is still some choice for competence, and maybe make some
   restrictions on who could get in.  The doctors are happy because they
   don't have to deal with expensive malpractice insurance and the patients
   get cheaper medical care.  And if there ever is a lawsuit, the insurance
   company is the only one who is going to be paying out easing the law
   fees and simplifying arbitration.

   Intellectual Detrivore
   Bear aka the Lord High Rulebender aka (ML5A@ANDREW.CMU.EDU)


This assumes that in a large insurance company that the left hand knows
what the right hand is doing. Besides, you'd be surprised at the number
of insurance companies that offer both health and malpractice. I don't
know any of the statistics relating to ratios between number of malpr-
actice and the number of physicians and number of healthcare subscribers.
Usually these two divisions in the insurance company are seperated, and
as as easy as it is to say, "Well, they should talk to each other", they
don't. Nice idea, but just wait to you hit the real world! (I forgot,
I'm in a virtual one right now.)

-scottm, still contemplating "BlueSmoke the Druid"
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.COM (Gillett, David)
Subject: Re: Libertarianism
Reply-To: dgil@ipsaint.ipsa.reuter.COM (Gillett, David)
Organization: Reuters APL Software Division
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 12:19:56 GMT

     I realize I'm a little late commenting on this, but I can't help observing
one odd point:  After StM carefully lays out the definition of a "common good"
(and I have very little disagreement with *that*), he then essentially asserts
that a public-sector judicial system for the redress of grievances is somehow
*not* such a "public good".  I'd appreciate if he could elaborate on his
reasoning....
                                      Mentor the Sage

-----------Message forwarded from IPSA Mailbox-------------
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE)
Subject: re: Rain !! =)
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 06:36:04 GMT


 "Well Spacey, I'm glad to hear you made it okay.

  The problem in Florida was caused it seems by second-rate
building materials. It is the law that houses in Florida be made
to certain standards, they weren't. Here, a coastal house must be
hurricane insured before you can move in. We live about 2 miles
from the coast, about 25 feet above sea level, and have to only
carry a regular house insurance with flood insurance. I believe
houses south of the railroad tracks, which are built up about 15-18
feet and work as a sea break, hurricane insurance can cost quite
a bit. Actually there is a 'step' sea break, but a tidal surge
would only slow slightly, the railroad bed is the better stopper
of tidal surges.

  I heard earlier that 5 people had been killed in Kauai due to the
hurricane. On the Gulf, several people usually die from heart-attacks
brought on by extreme worry as the hurricane comes ashore.
I know my adrenalin starts flowing quite fast as a hurricane gets nearer.

    Later !" DJ.

  { In Florida, the FBI is investigating the wrongful use
    of sub-standard building materials. Like boards with too
    many knots in them, or nail guns for major structual areas
    in a house, or too much sand in concrete, etc... }


* <JMPIERCE@USMCP6.BITNET> Jim "DJ." Pierce; Bach. Sci. in Appl. Comp. Sci.
* USM Academic Computing on the Gulf Park Campus. Disclaimer: Standard.
* "I'm a computer operator and I'm Ok !" me.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans,alt.individualism
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: Libertarianism
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 15:22:34 GMT

In article <BuApsM.AH5@well.sf.ca.us>, dasher@well.sf.ca.us (D Anton Sherwood) writes:
>In article <1992Sep8.065034.20117@cco.caltech.edu> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:
>>
>>I named a few and gave arguments as to why they could only be provided by a
>>central government in a previous post.  If you don't understand why the free
>>rider problem implies this, then tell me why you disagree with what I posted
>>and I'll try to make it clearer to you.
>>
>>These services need not be provided by the same entity.  They MUST be provided
>>by entities with coercive powers.  Do you really want more entities with
>>coercive powers than the minimum necessary?
>
>Public broadcasting is a good example of the free rider problem.  And yet it
>keeps going.  (Yes, a tithe of its budget is coerced.  But if there were no
>taxes, the same money would buy more.)
>
>I'm sorry, the only one of your examples that I remember is streetlights.
>Grovel grovel.  I've heard that many lighthouses (a classic "public good"
>example) used to be money-makers, but know no details.  Presumably the story
>wouldn't have reached my ears in the same way if the lighthouses earned
>their keep in the same way as those in, if I haven't got my yarns mixed up,
>"The Most Dangerous Game".

Please note that in the post in which I gave examples, I noted that there were
two outcomes possible in situations where the free rider problem applies:
	1)  The matter in question is important enough to some subset of the
	    population that they'll fund it themselves.  This results in
	    an efficient allocation of the resource, but whether the resulting
	    distribution is "fair" is open to question.  In this situation, the
	    government has no business interfering;
	2)  The matter isn't important enough to any subset of the population
	    that they'll fund it out of their own pockets.  However, each
	    subset of the population would prefer that the resource be provided
	    if they had to pay only their pro-rated share of the total cost.
	    In this case, one needs coercive power to enforce the contract that
	    will make everyone better off by providing the resource.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: brumby@nella10.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara)
Subject: Re: Never Never Land pt2
Organization: Monash University, Melb., Australia.
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 1992 09:30:04 GMT

   The brumby hears himself mentioned and wakes up briefly.

lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals) writes:
>In article <brumby.715832691@nella11.cc.monash.edu.au>, brumby@nella11.cc.monash.edu.au (Stephen McNamara) writes:
>>   The brumby stands close to the fireplace, steaming slightly as the
>>spring rains evaporate from his coat. After a while, he stretches, turn
>>half around, and lets his considerable equine weight fall to the floor. He
>>rests his nose on the floor and closes his eyes. Soon, his ears start to
>>twitch. He is dreaming.

>StM looks very concerned.  "Horses usually sleep standing up.  When they decide
>to collapse, it's generally a sign of trouble.  Brumby!  Are you OK?  Are
>horses from Oz that different from US horses?"

   "Well, actually all the horses I know spend most of their sleeping time
standing up, and some of it lying down. This is because horses can't dream
when they are standing up. Things get a bit difficult if you start twitching
in your sleep while you are supposed to be standing."
   "And I am in a certain amount of trouble, nothing I can do about it here
though."

   The brumby sighs and dozes off again.


-- 
     The Silver Brumby of          brumby@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
      the Silicon Plains

      The grass is always greener on the other side of the network.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE)
Subject: re: ...Feather's real appearance
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 07:31:36 GMT


 "Well Feather, Welcome to the Place. I understand your problems with
vi. The editors available in Unix is one of the things I don't like
about that system. Ah well, I have had to use *worse* editors, but not
recently. I do like Xrn in a Sun's X-window system, much easier to
answer email and posts than what I presently am using... mumble.

  Sorry for the digresion there. Welcome Feather and Welcome back
all of those returning Patrons of the Place ! "

Recent Video; Cher:Love and Understanding.
    Dreamy Jim

* <JMPIERCE@USMCP6.BITNET> Jim "DJ." Pierce; Bach. Sci. in Appl. Comp. Sci.
* USM Academic Computing on the Gulf Park Campus. Disclaimer: Standard.
* "I'm a computer operator and I'm Ok !" me.
From: eesshlgb@gdr.bath.ac.uk (S H L G Bisson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Mudder... Mudder... (Speak up man, I can't hear you!)
Date: 11 Sep 92 11:48:56 GMT
Organization: School of Electrical Engineering, University of Bath, UK

In article <n092at@ofa123.fidonet.org> Wales.Larrison@ofa123.fidonet.org writes:
>   Nobody's seem the school colors - obviously they're infrared and
>ultraviolet. :-)
>   There were four dorms when I was there; North Dorm, South Dorm,
>East Dorm, and West Dorm.  They've since added two more; obviously
>they're Up Dorm and Down Dorm  (or is it Color and Charm?). :-)
>  

The Cartoon Mouse looks up.

"Hmm... I always thought the American educational system had a touch of
strangeness. Nothing over here could top that... I suppose the dorm mascot
is a duck, and the motto is "Quark! Quark!". I suppose those puns are a
little weak, and possibly forced, but it's hard to get a spin on a topic,
whilst completly ignoring its gravity. There's some sort of symmetry involved,
but I'd better stop before I walk over a planck of my own making..."

Ignatz has been reading a book on Quantum-electrodynamics.

---=-
Ignatz Mouse/Simon Bisson...watch out for the bookshops, they're getting sneaky
-=-----
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE)
Subject: re: The Nightstalker returns
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway
Date: Tue, 8 Sep 1992 14:10:10 GMT


"Welcome back Nightstalker !" DJ.

"Yes, welcome back Nightstalker and everyone ! " Linda and Robbie.

{ My connection has been flaky since the hurricane, I hope this makes it. }


* <JMPIERCE@USMCP6.BITNET> Jim "DJ." Pierce; Bach. Sci. in Appl. Comp. Sci.
* USM Academic Computing on the Gulf Park Campus. Disclaimer: Standard.
* "I'm a computer operator and I'm Ok !" me.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE)
Subject: re: Fritz Leiber RIP
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 06:02:16 GMT


  "Thanks for the info about Tor Books Jake. I'll buy your next drink.
 Mike, here's a dollar for Jake McFarland's next drink. Sigh, but
 true no one can replace one of the greats... " DJ.


* <JMPIERCE@USMCP6.BITNET> Jim "DJ." Pierce; Bach. Sci. in Appl. Comp. Sci.
* USM Academic Computing on the Gulf Park Campus. Disclaimer: Standard.
* "I'm a computer operator and I'm Ok !" me.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: gryphon@openage.openage.com (The Golden Gryphon)
Subject: Re: Approriate Gift
Organization: Open Age, Inc.
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1992 15:16:22 GMT

<JDK116@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:

>"My question, to all around, is rather simple (or so I think). I trust you all
>will provide interesting and useful responses. You've provided myself and
>others with adequate counsle in the past and I'm sure it will continue. Ok,
>Let the games begin! My question is:

>      What is an appropriate item as a pre-engagement gift/ring/token?"

"Being in that engagement stage myself I would think that money would be
best.  Unfortunately my relatives are all sending picture frames!  Oh
well, You can win'em all."

The Golden Gryphon welcomes Jack back, and offer to buy him a drink.

-- 
The Golden Gryphon 				gryphon@openage.COM
Solve a man's problem and he has 1 less.        No incumbents in 92.
Teach a man to think, and all his problems are less.
Openage - The Premier SCO UNIX integrator in the Washington D.C. area
From: aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Cardinal Points
Date: 8 Sep 92 02:51:51 GMT
Reply-To: aaron@space.ualberta.ca
Organization: University Of Alberta, Edmonton Canada
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4

Alfvaen looks up from the atlas he just checked.  "Yup, just confirmed my
suspicions.  Edmonton is just as far north as Manchester.  But somehow I don't
think that Manchester is getting anywhere near the dump of snow we got this
weekend...well, no.  Edmonton didn't get any.  But _south_ of Edmonton, we got
a fair bit of snow.  They had to postpone the big Bryan Adams et al. festival
outdoor show they were going to have down in Big Valley...although the nearby
businesses don't really mind.  But the weather certainly did not cooperate on
Labour Day this year...

"Anyway--we've established Damien as the southernmost, in Tasmania.  And I'm
farther north than anyone south of Manchester.  ;-}  But how do we define east
and west?  Are we stopping at the International Date Line each way?"

--
---Alfvaen(Canadian SF Quasi-Activist)
"What have I done to piss the gods off?"  ---Terence Trent D'Arby
Current Album--The Rainmakers:The Good News And The Bad News
Current Read--John Updike:Rabbit, Run
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au (Agamemnon)
Subject: Re: A timid entrance
Organization: University of Tasmania, Australia.
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 12:23:44 GMT

clhoerth@david.wheaton.EDU (Cathe L Hoerth) writes:
>	There is a brief commotion by the door of the Place as an ocelot
>dashes in between the legs of an exiting patron (much to that patron's
>discomfort, but it can't be helped) and runs across the room.  Onlookers
>have the impression of a flash of yellow and black as she darts under
>Nick's chair and huddles there, panting a bit.  Her tail is poofed out
>to bottlebrush size, which on 25 lbs. of jungle feline is pretty
>impressive, but for the most part she just looks scared.  As she peers
>out from under the chair, her liquid black eyes and trembling whiskers
>seem to say, "Oh dear, perhaps I have made a terrible error, but I am
>small and alone and shy.  Be nice to me, scratch behind my ears and give
>me affection... and maybe a dish of milk, but I'm broke."  Amazingly
>expressive whiskers, nu? 

Gunnar appears from a corner gives Mike a dollar and asks for a dish of 
milk. After Mike hands over the dish. He squats down beside Nick's chair
and puts down the dish. As the feline appears out from under the chair.
"Welcome, little one."
Reaches down and scratches behind her ears.

Bye for now from the southernmost bar member.
Gunnar.


--
`Of COURSE I was glad to get rid of him, he's flipped. He's got mad droid
disease! He kept waving a banana in front of me and calling it a femalE
aardvark'  --Red Dwarf, "Camille" 
Damien Saunders (Gunnar Njalsson [SCA]) Email: u906451@bruny.cc.utas.edu.au
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Newsgroups: alt.callahans

In alt.callahans, lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals) writes:

> 	2)  This guy's qualified to help decide public policy
>Now, some of us see a bit of a problem with espousing both 1) and 2)
>simultaneously.  Of course, those with a more socialist point of view claim
>that people like me, who say that someone incompetent enough that I have to
>support him is too incompetent to be allowed to vote, are social Darwinists and
>evil.  I say that people who take that attitude are stupid and unfit for
>survival.

And I say that I am quite convinced you would look lovely and numinous
in jackboots and a monocle.

doug