From: c8923075@cc.newcastle.edu.au (Chris Baird)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.simpsons
Subject: [8F18] A Streetcar Named Marge,,
Summary: The long-awaited Simpson episode summary!
Keywords: simpson episode summary capsule
Date: 9 Oct 92 19:10:24 GMT
Organization: Club Simpson Intl.


Maybe this will partially explain why I've been able to participate in
the discussions from last week's episode..

All the kudos should be forwarded to Dave Hall, for providing the
incentive, the influence and the vital Quotes&Scene Summary section.
But of course, ``You people are the Stars!''

(..and I believe Raymond would be one of the last to complain about
imitating the `look and feel' of his Capsules :)

--
Chris J. Baird, Esq.  <c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au>

                            S P O I L E R S !

================================================================== 10-Oct-1992
[8F18]  ``A Streetcar Named Marge''                     Written by Jeff Martin
                                                        Directed by Rich Moore
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Blackboard:  ``My name is not Dr. Death''
              ``My name is not Dr. De   '' - at cutoff

 Lisa's Sax Solo:  ...

 Driveway  : Homer says `D'oh!' when Lisa scoots past.
             Homer says `Wooh!' when the car closes in on him.

 Couch     : The couch swallows the family whole, and changes into
             a smiling multi-armed monster.

==============================================================================
> Did You Notice?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   ... Bart and Lisa playing "footsie" on the couch.
   ... The objects Maggie used as a substitute for her pacifier?
       A crayon, a block, and a BART DOLL!!!!!!!
       Not surprisingly she promptly yanked each out of her mouth...
       (Mark Bendiksen, cb366@cleveland.freenet.edu)
   ... At the rehearsal in Flanders' home, Ned has a BIG cotton gauze
       bandage on his right shoulder.  Marge was really into her part!
       (phredd@casbah.acns.nwu.edu)
   ... Barney and Moe helping with the ropes for Marge's descent into madness.

Raymond L. Gilbert (pi@bronze.ucs.indiana.edu):
   ... The guy in the bear suit and several trapeze artists during the final
       curtain?

Dave Hall {dh}:
   ... Mr. Sinclair wore something different each time we saw him?
   ... Chief Wiggum came to the audition in uniform?
   ... The old bullet wounds on Apu's body?
   ... Otto removed his shirt without disturbing his earphones?
   ... Maggie watched, with fear, Ms. Sinclair sitting in front of her
       at the play?

==============================================================================
> Popular references
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  + Oh, Calcutta!
      - The inspiration for the name.
        (Which infamy recalls as the first nude musical.)
  + ``Dance of the Sugarplum fairies'', from Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite.
      - Maggie playing the xylophone.
  + Ayn Rand
      - `Atlas Shrugged', `Fountainhead' and `The Virtue of Selflessness'.
  + The Great Escape
      - Maggie being confined to `the box' and playing hand-ball.
      - The music playing in the background.
  + The Birds
      - Homer tiptoeing through the room full of Babies.
      - ...and the several Babies perched on the shelves.  (David Serchay)
      - Hitchcock's walk-on cameo with two dogs on a leash.
  + A Clockwork Orange
      - ``A pain in me Gulliver/Golova''
  + Citizen Kane
      - Homer blowing on a theatre program torn into little ribbons.
        (cf: Joseph Cotton watching the horrible opera debut of Kane's wife.)
    Peanuts (Charles Shultz's comic strip)
      - A kid with a blue security blanket (cf: Linus Van Pelt)
        (J.P. Robertson)
      - A toy grand piano -- just like Schroeder's.  {jpr}
    Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
      - Lisa at the dinner table. `Big Daddy...'  {rlg}
    Wizard of Oz
      - Miss Kansas' hat.  {rlg}
    Life In Hell
      - The pop-up book.
  ~ Aliens
      - Homer's footsteps as he goes to collect Maggie.  (Tim McGinnis)
 ~~ Papillon
      - A influence during the Great Escape sequence?  (Tom Hove)
 ~~ The Brood (A David Cronenberg horror film.)
      - Maggie being rescued from a room of sleeping (zombie) children.
        (Rob Harris)

   Generic references:
      - The tryout scene (`All that Jazz', `Chorus Line').
      - Maggie's McGyver-esque plan to obtain the keys.

>> Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite

Maddi Hausmann (madhaus@netcom.com):
    Maggie was playing "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" from Tchaikovsky's
    _Nutcracker Suite_.  You might remember it from _Fantasia_.

    I busted a gut laughing at that; Maggie picks up a complicated classic,
    and Homer tells her to shut up, after ignoring Marge's repeated
    attempts to tell him she's auditioning for a play.

>> Hitchcock?

Bob Knight (bob@yenta.alb.nm.us):
    According to my copy of _Hitchcock/Truffaut_, Hitchcock's walk-on in
    _The_Birds_ was with two little dogs on a leash, just like immediately
    after Homer & Co. left the Ayn Rand School for Tots.

>> Ayn Rand?

No, it is not an anagram for ``Any Darn..''

J.D. Baldwin {jdb}:
    Ayn Rand was a "philosopher" who claimed that a complex system of
    epistemology, aesthetics, ethics, metaphysics and politics could be
    derived from the simple, "self-evident" proposition that A == A.  Her
    philosophical system is widely regarded as "right-wing," whatever that
    means.

Tom Hove (thove@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu):
    Several people have mentioned how the Ayn Rand School for Tots looked
    like a Frank Lloyd Wright building.  I think the actual model for it
    was the school Wright designed at Taliesin, outside of Spring Green in
    Wisconsin.  Cool territory, but don't go there to take a tour.  The
    prices are outrageous!

==============================================================================
> Lists and Lyrics
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mostly provided by Raymond L. Gilbert {rlg}:

    The contestants of the Beauty Pageant:
        Kentucky     -  Horse w/ jockey
        Vermont      -  Pancakes w/ syrup pitcher hat
        Maine        -  Lobster
        Alaska       -  w/ oil pipeline
        Idaho        -  Still a potato(e)
        Texas        -  Oil geyser w/ barrel & boots
        Illinois     -  As Abe Lincoln
        Kansas       -  Twister, house, and witch(!)
        S. Dakota    -  Mt. Rushmore
        N. Carolina  -  Cigarette thru middle
        Indiana      -  Indy 500 track

    "Oh! Streetcar!"  A Musical.
     The cast:
        Helen Lovejoy  as  Stella
        Apu            as  Steve
        Lionel Hutz    as  Mitch
        Otto           as  Pablo  (substituted at the last minute)
        Marge Simpson  as  Blanche
        Ned Flanders   as  Stanley


Leila Johannesen (ljohanne@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu) and
(ah.pbl@forsythe.stanford.edu) provide us with part of the lyrics
to Janis Ian's ``At Seventeen''.

    I learned the truth at seventeen,
    that love was meant for beauty queens,
    and high school girls with clear skin smiles,
    who married young and then retired.

  (chorus)
    We all play the game, and when we dare, we cheat ourselves at solitaire,
    Inventing lovers on the phone, repenting of the lies untold (?),
    who call to say come dance with me, and murmur strange obscenities.
    At 17...

==============================================================================
> Freeze-Frame Fun
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People in the audience {dh}:
    - Sanjay (?)
    - Abe Simpson
    - Patty and Selma
    - Ms. Sinclair

Dave Hall suggests everyone should freeze-frame the look on Marge's face
as she threatens Ned with the broken bottle.  Who said OFF didn't think
evil thoughts?

==============================================================================
> Animation Goofs
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All courtesy of Dave Hall {dh}:

    - The VCR on top of the TV wasn't shown in the close-ups.
    - During the Pageant, Maggie only appears for that one scene with the
      toy xylophone.
    - Marge was carrying a purse when she walked across the Den, but not
      in later scenes.
    - As seen from the front of the stage, Ned is standing besides Otto;
      but from behind, there's nobody near Otto.
    - It was nighttime when Homer went to pick up Maggie, but inside the
      daycare the windows depicted a day view.
    - The salt-shaker vanished from the dinner table.
    - The ventilation duct crossed the path of the window. (So much for
      Frank Lloyd-Wright..)

==============================================================================
> References to previous episodes
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   [8F01] Roweena; Skin care consultant.
   [8F06] Apu's bullet wounds.
   [8F08] Dreaderick Tatum.
   [8F14] Maggie's allergy to strained peas.

==============================================================================
> Considerably Mixed Reviews
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott Amspoker (scott@bbx.basis.com):  All in all, I thought the episode
    was average at first.  However, today the episode is still with me for
    some strange reason.  The more I think about it the more I like it.
    I'll have to watch it again.

J.D. Baldwin {jdb}:  "A is A."  I thought I was gonna die.

Scott Borders (sborders@nyx.cs.du.edu):  I thought it was one of the best
    episodes I have ever [seen].  Groening is not afraid to assume that his
    audience is well-read and intelligent; I find that refreshing.

John R. Donald (jdonald@us.oracle.com):  I agree, references for their own
    sake add nothing to the show, like a meaningless guest appearance
    (Sting, Magic Johnson).  However when a guest voice is incorporated
    into the plot well, and the references are not just references but are
    actually satire, then this device works - it wasn't funny because it
    was a reference to Ayn Rand, it was funny because it was an Ayn Rand
    Day Care Center - it wasn't funny because Marge was in 'Streetcar', it
    was funny because it was a musical version.  As far as the plot goes -
    it was great - back to the basics, back to simple family issues, which
    turn out to be funnier than plots that are too contrived.

John Heidemann (johnh@ficus.cs.ucla.edu):  This was definitely one of the
    best shows in quite a while.  Although the "Streetcar" plot was nice
    (especially the upbeat ending in the land "before the Superdome"), the
    star of the show had to be Maggie in the "Ayn Rand School for Tots".

Ed A. Mills (eam@gumbee.mlb.semi.harris.com):
    These "let's mimic a popular movie" themes in The Simpsons are growing
    a bit tiresome, don't you think?  The episodes are starting to seem
    like those silly books with hidden pictures:  Find a "banana, turtle,
    spoon, potato, blah blah.."  ``A Streetcar Named Marge'' was like:
    Find a scene from "The Birds, The Great Escape, A famous play, blah blah.."

Bucky Whaley (bw462@cleveland.freenet.edu):
    The whole idea of doing Streetcar as a musical in the first place
    cracks me up.  And that closing number was completely loony.

John J. Wood (jojw@uhura.cc.rochester.edu):
    With the exceptions of the Maggie subplots, and Homer at the candy
    machine, last night's episode was boringly mundane.  Granted, those who
    enjoy Streetcar would have enjoyed it more, but the third segment was
    too...*cheesy*.  For the second straight week in a row, no Burns,
    Smithers, Itchy & Scratchy, etc., and the plot was unexceptionally thin.
    A yawner!

Max Ziff (max@gargoyle.uchicago.edu):  I was disappointed by this episode.
    "Oh, Streetcar" _was_ a funny idea, but the execution seemed to lack
    real comedic inspiration.

==============================================================================
> Comments, questions, and other miscellany
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bucky Whaley (bw462@cleveland.freenet.edu):
    The song the contestants were singing was Janis Ian's (sp?) "At
    Seventeen," one of the most painfully confessional hymns to female
    teen-aged angst ever recorded.

Maddi Hausmann (madhaus@netcom.com):  The bouncing "You can always depend
    of the kindness of strangers" number fit right in with the beauty
    contestants singing "At Seventeen."  And remember, the director *hated*
    banality (maybe that's what that "I hate New Orleans" intro was all
    about).

Michael McCarty (macster@iastate.edu):
    My advice to you is to SEE these movies/plays/books/etc. and then go
    back and watch the episode again.  I think you will find the episode
    1000% funnier.  The movies/play/book mentioned are some the greatest
    productions ever made and they are certainly worth seeing or reading.

Ross A. Stapleton (stapleton@misvax.mis.arizona.edu):
    Who was the Indian in the audience?   He was too thin to be Sanjay,
    but we haven't heard of any other relatives.

Scott M. Glazer (glazer@cs.cornell.edu):
    I thought ``A Streetcar Named Marge'' was one of the best Simpsons
    ever, except for:

    a) Second-rate animation, and
    b) A lousy, too-quick ending.

    Problem (a) I can live with and adjust to, I guess... Seeing the folks
    of Springfield move about in a herky-jerky, first-season manner hurts a
    little, though.

    Problem (b) is nothing new in the Simpsons.  Frankly, I'm used to it.

Mark B. Bendiksen (cb366@cleveland.freenet.edu):
    The one line last night that kept me in stitches for several minutes
    was dimwitted Otto's comment from the audience:

    Sinclair: You, the audience, are the real stars!
    Otto:     COOL!

    Having Apu sing was a good idea.  Where else but on the Simpsons would
    you find a convenience store clerk moonlighting in a wretched musical
    adaptation of _A Streetcar Named Desire_ and singing a song which
    rhymes "floozie" with "newsie"?

Ian Nathanson (cs922094@ariel.yorku.ca):
    Maggie spoke!  Maggie spoke!  On [the] ``Oh Streetcar!'' episode she
    sighed "Oooooohhhhh!".  The gods have given Maggie a voice.
    Who's doing that sigh, BTW?

==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene summary
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer, Bart and Lisa watch the `Miss American Girl Pageant' hosted by Troy
McClure.

   Live, from Nevada, it's the Miss American girl pageant.  Brought to
   you by Meryl Streep versatility-- Smell like Streep, for cheap.

As Troy introduces the contestants, Marge enters from the Kitchen, holding
out a Krusty Brand TV dinner.

Marge: Kids, I won't be home tonight so I'm leaving you some low-cal
       microwaveable TV dinners.
Lisa:  [uninterested] Huh.
Bart:  [unconcerned] Okay.
Marge: I'm auditioning for a play.  It's a musical version of ``A Streetcar
       named Desire''  Isn't that exciting?
Kids:  [not a peep]

McClure continues.

   If you ask me, they're all winners.  We will be cutting our first 40
   contestants right after this...

Marge sits down on the couch besides Homer.  She reads from a book while
the rest of the family watch the Pageant.  On TV, Troy takes a minute to
introduce the distinguished panel of judges.

   Skin care consultant, Roweena...
   Syndicated columnist, William F. George...
   Token Black panelist, Dreaderick Tatum...
   and Mr. Boswell, the man behind those infamous worst dress lists.

Troy:     Mr. Boswell, could you give us a sneak peek at this year's list?
Boswell:  Memo to Goldie Hawn, cheerleading tryouts were 30 years ago,
          let's grow-up shall we?

The television audience gives an obviously prompted round of laughter.
Bart also thinks Boswell is funny.  Marge tries again.

Marge:  I haven't been in a play since high-school, and I thought it
        would be a good chance to meet some other adults.
Homer:  Sounds interesting.
Marge:  You know, I spend all day alone with Maggie and sometimes it's
        like I don't even exist.
Homer:  Sounds interesting.
Marge:  Mmmmm!  [and indignantly leaves the room]

Troy McClure announces the Pageant's five finalists.  Homer gives his own
assessment.

Troy:  Ms. Montana.
Homer: A beaut from Butte.
Troy:  Ms. South Carolina.
Homer: Nuthin' could be finer.
Troy:  Ms. Delaware.
Homer  Gee [pause] Well, good for her.

Marge starts practicing for her audition on the piano in the front room.

Marge: La-la-la-la...
Homer: [yelling] Marge, keep it down in there!
Marge: Homer, my audition is in half-
Lisa:  [excited] Hey look!  It's last year's winner, Debra Jo Smallwood!

Debra Jo Smallwood wears a crown, a red low-cut dress & earrings to match
her hair (which is cut short), and a push button nose.

   Tonight, my reign is Miss America Girl comes to an end.  And I would
   like to apologize one last time for my unfortunate remarks at the
   United Nations.

Maggie begins to play ``Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies'' on a toy
xylophone, and Homer yells at her to cut it out.  Marge walks by,
dressed to go out.

Homer: [dominantly] And where exactly are you going?
Marge: [stops, eyes in the air] I'm auditioning for a play.
Homer: [mock surprise] Well, this is the first I heard about it.
Marge: I told you several times, it's a musical version of ``A Streetcar
       name--
Homer: [interrupting] Excuse me, Marge, I think that if you told me,
       I'll would have remembered.  I mean I'm not an idiot.
Marge: Mhmm, well I thought I told you.
Homer: Kids, back me up.
Bart:  [not really listening] He's right, Mom.
Lisa:  [not really listening] Sorry.
Homer: [revelled] Match point, Homer.
Marge: [faintly] I'm sorry, honey.
Homer: That's okay, were none us perfected.

At the Community Center, various people turn up for the auditions.  Chief
Wiggum exercises his larynx (``Ma-me-ma-mo-mu'').  Marge is surprised to see
her neighbour, Ned Flanders, also attending the audition.  Behind them,
Jasper (in thighs) is limbering up his body.

Ned:   [chuckle] How'd do, neighbour!
Marge: Hi, Ned.  I didn't know you were an actor.
Ned:   Oh, indeedly doodly.  I've been in Streetcar once before--I played
       Blanche Dubois.  Just part of going to an all-male school.

Mr. Sinclair, a short, fat guy with little hair on top, barges into the
theater.  He is wearing a long loose shirt that goes past his knees, and
sandals on his feet.  He introduces himself by yelling..

   Halloo!  I am Lou Allen Sinclair.  I've directed three plays in my
   career, and I've had three heart-attacks.  That's how much I care--
   I'm planning for a fourth.

Marge is worried and considers if she should have taken up calligraphy
classes instead.  Wiggum soothes her, ``Oh, forget about it--that Mr.
Takahushi is a lunatic.''.  Mr. Sinclair commands them to shut-up.  He
continues:

   I'm not an easy man to work for.  While directing `Hats off to Hunka',
   I reduced more than one cast member to tears.  Did I expect too much
   from fourth graders?  [holds up a newspaper clipping] The review:
   `Play Enjoyed by All', speaks for itself.

Mr. Sinclair instructs all those auditioning for the role of Stanley to take
off their shirts.  Reluctantly, they do.  He inspects each bare-chested male
until he comes upon Otto.  He gasps at the ghastly Heavy-Metal tattoo
etched across Otto's chest.  Otto thinks Sinclair likes it.

Otto:     Hey man, If you like that, you should see my butt!
Sinclair: [to Ned] You!  You're my Stanley.
Ned:      Hot diggly!  [laugh] How'd about that, Marge.
          Lil'o Stanley me!  [laughs] Stella.  STELLA!

The auditions continue for the role of Blanche.  Mr. Sinclair is
disappointed with the candidates, and conveys his feelings by shouting
at the would-be stars, including Marge.  Disillusioned, Marge walks off
to find a telephone.

Mr. Sinclair shouts at the ladies some more:

   You're all terrible.  What you ladies don't understand is that Blanche
   is a delicate flower being trapped by a clout.  Oh forget it!
   Just strike the set, clear the stage, this production is--

He stops and listens to Marge talking on the telephone.  Marge speaks with
a slight waiver.

Marge:    Homey, I didn't get the part.  You were right, outside interest
          were stupid.
Sinclair: [gasps] Wait a minute!
Marge:    Ah huh, I come home right way. [pause] Allright, I pick up a
          bucket of fried chicken, extra skin, rolls, Chocolate cream
          parffa--
Sinclair: [grabbing the handset and shouts] Stop bothering my Blanche!

[End of Act One]

The family sit down for breakfast.  Marge tells the kids about getting
the part in the play.

Marge: [excited] I play an aging southern beauty who's driven to insanity
       by her brutish brother in-law, Stanley.
Lisa:  [impressed] Wow, my mother the actress.  I feel like Lucy Arnes
       Luckenbel!
Bart:  Are there any giant talking robots in this play?
Marge: Mmmm, I don't think so.
Homer: [barks] Bart, don't ask stupid questions!  [turns to Marge]
       Is there any frontal nudity?
Marge: [eyes in the air] No, Homer.

At the Community Center, the cast members sit in a circle and introduce
themselves to one another.  Marge has brought Maggie with her.

Helen:    My name is Helen Lovejoy, and I'd be playing Stella.
Apu:      I'm Apu Mahasapeemapetilon (?sp!).  I play Steve.
Otto:     My name is Otto, I'm playing Pablo.
Hutz:     Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.  I'm filing a class action suit
          against the director on behalf of everyone who was cut from
          the play.  I also play Mitch.
Marge:    I'm Marge Simpson, I'd be playing Blanche.  I made some peanut
          butter brownies for everyone.
Sinclair: [eating a cookie] Well, would anyone else like a bite of banality?
Wiggum:   I would.

Later, Mr. Sinclair coaches Ned (sans shirt) and Marge through an important
scene.  Maggie is sitting on the bed, placed on-stage.

Sinclair: [waving his hands about] Stanley?
Ned:      [eagerly] Yeah?
Sinclair: You-you're pulsing with animal lust.  You take Blanche and you
          fling her roughly to the bed.
Ned:      Roger Dodger. [approaches Marge]

Ned really gets into his role.  He seizes Marge and throws her to the bed
and jumps on top of her, growling fiercely.  Maggie takes this opportunity
to crawl up to him and remove his eyeglasses, placing them on her own face.

Ned:      [getting up] Ohhh, isn't that cute--me without a camera.
Sinclair: [furiously] Here, my sister runs a day-care center.
          [hands Marge a business card]
Marge:    Mmmm, I guess a few weeks wouldn't hurt her.
Maggie:   [looks around, bug eyed]  -suck!-

In Ms. Sinclair's office at the `Ayn Rand school for Tots', Marge discusses
Maggie (who is sitting on her lap) with Ms. Sinclair.

Marge:       Maggie is allergic to strained peas, and she likes a bottle
             of warm milk before nap time.
Ms.Sinclair: [authoritatively] A bottle? [laugh] Mrs. Simpson, do you
             know what a baby's saying when she reaches for a bottle?
Marge:       Ba Ba?
Ms.Sinclair: [pointing her finger] She saying `I am a leach!'  Our aim
             here is to develop the bottle within.
Marge:       [unsure] That sounds awfully harsh.
Ms.Sinclair: [standing up from her chair] Mrs. Simpson, I don't like to
             toot my own horn, but with the only day-care in town that's
             not currently investigation by the state..
Marge:       Oh. [looks at Maggie]  Well be a good girl Maggie. [kisses her]

After bidding Marge goodbye, Ms. Sinclair takes Maggie's pacifier away,
telling her that they're not allowed.  She locks it away with all the
other children's pacifiers in a locker.

At the Community Center, Ned & Marge rehearse while Sinclair watches.

Ned:      Your a dame and I'm a fella.
Marge:    [listlessly] Stanley, stop, or I tell Stella.
Sinclair: [yelling] Passion, Mrs. Simpson, anger--this man disgusts you.
Ned:      All I want is one embrace.
Marge:    I'll twist this bottle in your face. [fails to smash the bottle]
Ned:      [chuckles] Here, Marge, let me--I hate to be an armchair Blanche,
          but I give it one of these [breaks bottle] There, there's the old
          face shredder.
Marge:    [shocked] Oh!
Sinclair: [angrily] Mrs. Simpson, if you've set out to push the vile to
          the tip of my throat, mission accomplished. [sigh]  I am--I'm
          going to crawl into bed with a bottle of Aimarito.  Good day.

In bed, Homer plays a hand-held computerized bowling game while Marge
memorizes her lines.

Homer:   [excited] Easy, easy, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.  D'oh!
Machine: -7-10 spilt-
Marge:   [putting the script down] Homer, could you run lines with me?
Homer:   Make Bart do it!
Marge:   It'll just take a sec.
Machine: -Gutter ball-
 Homer:  [angrily] D'oh! You see Marge, when you're off in your little
         world, you forget [pointing to the game] that people have
         problems too.

At the Ayn Rand School for Tots, Maggie desperately misses her pacifier
and tries some poor substitutes.  She gives up, and with the help from
some of the other babies, attempts to regain her pacifier.

The babies build a mountain of toys to reach the locker's vent opening.
Maggie finds she can't get the large part of her pacifier out, so decides
since she's came all this way to at least give it a few quick sucks.

The toy mountain falls away, leaving Maggie suspended by her teeth for a
few moments.  Ms. Sinclair enters the room to find Maggie amongst the
toys, ``Don't like to nap, hey?  We have a place for babies like you--The
BOX!''.  She picks Maggie up and lowers her into a play-pen by herself.
Maggie is handed a ball by one of the other babies, and bounces it against
the side of the play-pen.

At the Community Center, Mr. Sinclair continues coaching Ned & Marge.
Marge has trouble relating to Blanche.

Sinclair: [massaging his forehead] Allright, let amateur night in Dixie
          commence.
Marge:    [raising a bottle above head] I'm sorry, Lou Allen.  I just--I just
          don't see why Blanche should shove a broken bottle in Stanley's
          face?  Couldn't she take his abuse with gentle good humor?

Sinclair massages his forehead some more.  Homer enters the room jangling
his car keys.

Homer:    Marge, your rides here.
Marge:    [angrily] Homer, it will be just a few minutes more!
Ned:      You're a dame and I'm a fella.
Marge:    Stanley, stop, or I'll tell Stella.
Sinclair: [yelling] Marge, Marge!  I'm asking for white-hot rage,
          and you're giving me a hussy fit.
Homer:    Marge, can I get some change for the candy machine?
Sinclair: [grabbing into a pocket] Oh Here!  [throws coins to the floor]
Homer:    [collecting the coins] Hey, there's some quarters in here.
Marge:    I just don't see what so bad about Stanley.

As Mr. Sinclair tries to explain why to Marge, behind them Homer has
trouble getting the candy.  Homer works his frustrations out onto the
vending machine.

Sinclair: Stanley is thoughtless, violet and loud.  Marge, every second
          you spend with this man, he is crushing your fragile spirt.
          You can't let that happen.
Homer:    [yells, then kicks the machine. candy spills out onto the floor]
          Woo hoo!  Come to papa.  [gathering the candy]  Marge, I'll be
          in the car. [exits]
Ned:      All I want is one embrace.
Homer:    [honking carhorn] Marge, move it or loose it!
Marge:    [infuriated, she grabs the bottle] I twist this bottle in your face!
          [breaks bottle and lunges towards Ned]
Sinclair: [joy] I've done it again.
          Ned, you're suppose to overpower her!
Ned:      [struggling] I'm trying, I'm trying!

[End of Act Two]

The family is having dinner at home.

Homer: Salt me.
Marge: [Southern accent] Here you are, Homer.
Homer: What the?!  Why are you talking like that?
Marge: [Southern accent] The play's tomorrow night.  I've got to stay in
       character.
Lisa:  [Southern accent] Hey, mom, would it help if I talk like this, too?
Marge: [Southern accent] It might.
Bart:  [English accent] And I'll talk like this.  Bob's your uncle, mate.
Marge: That really doesn't help Bob.
Lisa:  [Southern accent] Big daddy, would you mine passing a Little'ol
       biscuit?
Bart:  [English accent, leans towards Homer] Can I slug off school
       tomorrow?  Got a pain in me gulliver.
Homer: [holding his face with both hands] I'm living in a coo-coo clock!
Marge: [notices the time] Oh, see you later, kids.  I've got to rehearse
       with Ned.
Homer: But Marge, what about dessert?
Marge: [at the doorway] For God sakes, you can pull the lid off your
       own can of pudding! [exits]
Homer: [angrily] Fine, I will. [picks up a can of pudding]

Homer goes to open the pudding can, but the pull-tab snaps off.
He eyes the tiny ringlet..

   Waaaa!  Oh, no!  My pudding is trapped forever!
   So, I can open my own can of pudding can I?  Shows what you know, Marge!

Homer walks outside holding the can of pudding, and looks up to Ned and
Marge rehearsing in a second story room.  He yells out to Marge.  Inside,
Marge ignores his cries.

Marge: Keep yelling you big ape.
Ned:   Aren't you being a little hard on old Homey?
Marge: [enraged] Ommph, forget about him!  Let's rehearse the bottle scene.
       [grabs a bottle, smashes it, and points it towards Ned]
Ned:   [chuckles weakly] Let's not say we did.

In bed, Marge mumbles her words from the script.  Homer is content playing
with the hand-held computerized bowling game.

Homer: [without looking up] So what time does this play start?
Marge: [muffled] Why, are you going?
Homer: Well, I gonna go, don't I?
Marge: I'm sure you wouldn't enjoy it.  There's nothing about bowling in
       the play.  Oh, well, there is.
Homer: Probably not much of it.
Marge: Why can't you be a little more supportive?
Homer: [puts down the game] Cause I don't care, okay.  I can't fake an
       interest in this, and I'm an expert in faking an interest in your
       kooky projects.
Marge: What kooky projects?
Homer: [waving his hands about] You know, the painting class, the first-
       aid course, the whole Lamaze thing.
Marge: Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?
Homer: You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt your feelings.  Good night
       [snores loudly]
Marge: [frustrated] Mhmmm!

At the Ayn Rand School for Tots, Ms. Sinclair checks her charges before
leaving the room.

   Play nicely little humans? Good, good.  [sees Maggie]  Hello Maggie.
   [under her breath] Poor little dumber.

As soon as Ms. Sinclair leaves the room, Maggie enters McGyver-mode.
Utilising a Krusty doll, a clothes hanger, two baby bottles, a dart gun and
some string, she sneaks into Ms. Sinclair's office through an air vent.
Having relieved Ms. Sinclair of her keys, Maggie liberates all the pacifiers
stored in the locker.

Homer and the kids drop by to collect Maggie before going to the play.
He screams at the sight of a roomful of pacifier-sucking babies.  Quietly
and carefully, Homer retrieves Maggie and cautiously leaves the same way.
Safely outside, Homer comments ``O-o-o-oh, babies!''

Mr. Sinclair gives a pep-talk to his actors before the play begins.

   Perhaps they're all a little mad, we who don captive bells and tread
   beneath the proscenium arch.  But tonight, you will all be transformed
   from dead-eye suburbanites into white-hot grease fires of pure
   entertainment!

Mr. Sinclair substitutes himself into Otto's role because he's not quite
working out (``Drag!'').

The Curtain opens with Wiggum in front of the SuperDome.  Homer and the
kids are seated in the audience.

Wiggum: Long before the SuperDome,
        Where the Saints of football play,
        Lived a city that the Damned called Home,
        Hear their Hellish Rondelet...

        [the set transforms into a two storey New Orleans saloon]

Cast:   New Orleeeans...
        Home of pirates, drunks, and whores!

        New Orleeeans...
        Tacky, overpriced, souvenir stores!
        If you want to go to Hell, you should make that trip
        to the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississippi!

        New Orleeeans...
        Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile!

        New Orleaaans...
        Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul!

        New Orleeeans...
        Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank!

        New Orleeeans!

[Thanks to Ron Carter and Bucky Whaley for the transmutation]
[Bruce Watson:- I used to live there.  It isn't <that> bad.]

As the play continues; Homer, who is bored beyond endurance, blows on his
torn theatre programme.  Marge enters the play.

lady:          What's the matter honey, are you lost?
Marge/Blanche: I'm looking for my sister, Stella.
Lisa:          It's Mom!
Homer:         [looking up] Huh?
Marge/Blanche: My name is Blanche Dubois.  I thought my life would be a
               Mardi Gras... A never-ending party... [pause] Ha!
               I'm a faded Southern dame without a dime...

The Steve & Blanche scene:

Apu/Steve:     I'm collecting for the Evening Star.
Marge/Blanche: Come here...  I want to kiss you, just once...
               Softly, and sweetly... on your mouth.

               [Apu walks a few steps towards the audience]

Apu/Steve:     I am just a simple paperboy,
               no romance do I seek...

               I just wanted forty cents,
               for my deliveries last week...

               Will this bewitching floozy,
               seduce this humble newsie?

               Oh, what's a paperboy to... [pause] Dooo?

              [Apu walks back to Marge where they kiss]

Later, Ned (as Stanley) yells his throat out:

   Stella!  STELLLAAAA!
   Can't you hear me YELLA!
   You're puttin' me through HELLA!
   Stella...  STELLLAAAA!

Blanche takes a flying leap into madness, complete with strings attach.
In the audience, Bart is impressed.

Bart: [his eyes following Marge] Wow, she can fly!
Lisa: [sighs] I think it's suppose to symbolize her decent into madness.

The Grand Finale:

Marge/Blanche: Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of
               strangers...

Cast:          You can always depend on the kindness of strangers...
               To pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers...

Marge/Blanche: Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret...

Cast:          A stranger's just a friend you haven't met...
               You haven't met...STREETCAR!

                        [CURTAIN]

The Kids cheer wildly for Marge.  On stage, the cast give their bows.
Marge is given a standing ovation.  She sees Homer's downcast face.
Mr. Sinclair runs out on stage, throwing kisses to everyone, yelling
``You people are the stars!'' In the audience, Otto takes it literally,
``Cool!''.

Afterwards, the family wait back stage for Marge to change.  Lisa helps
Bart to fly (``Hey, look at me, I'm Blanche Dubois!'') until Marge arrives.

Lisa:  [excited] Mom!  [lets go of rope]
Bart:  [getting up from the floor]  Way to go, Mom!
Lisa:  Everybody was cheering for you.
Marge: [sighs] Almost everybody.
Homer: Kids, wait in the car.  I want to talk to your mother about this
       play thing.
Bart:  [nudging] Look'n for a spot to find with the Muses, Huh governor?
       [clicks cheek]
Homer: Shut-up Boy!
Homer  [turning to Marge]  Marge, you were terrific!
Marge: [unconvinced] Oh come on, Homer.  By the end you were so bored,
       you could barely keep your selfish head up.
Homer: I wasn't bored, I was sad. It really got to me how that lady here,
       Hump, you know which one I mean, you played her.
Marge: Blanche!
Homer: Yeah.  How Blanche was sad, and that guy Stanley should have been
       nice to her.
Marge: Yeah?  Go on.
Homer: I mean it made me feel bad, the poor thing ends up being hauled to
       the nut house when all she needed was for that big slob to show
       her some respect.  At least, that what I thought--I have a history
       of missing a point of stuff like this.
Marge: No, Homer, you got it just right. [hugs Homer]

Outside the Community Center, Homer and Marge holds hands.

Homer: Hey, you know, I'm a lot like that guy.
Marge: Really?
Homer: Yeah, like when I pick my teeth with a nail and stuff.
Marge: Well, maybe just a little.

Marge kisses Homer.

[End of Act three]

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> Distribution notice
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``The Simpsons'' Episode Summary #8f18, Copyright 1992 Baird-Hall Productions.
No distribution in a public forum without permission (or we break thumbs!).
Standard intellectual property rights apply.

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