From: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Subject: Re: helping kids fall asleep
Reply-To: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Thu, 23 Jul 92 02:02:56 GMT


In a previous article, smb@ulysses.att.com (Steven Bellovin) says:

>Any suggestions on how to help a child (just about 3) fall asleep?
>That is, he can be very tired, we'll go through all the rituals, and
>put him in the crib -- but he suddenly gets charged up, and we'll hear
>him singing, talking, playing, calling out to us, inventing the need
>to go to the bathroom (and we're working on toilet training, so
>we can't treat that one the way we treat other stalls...), etc.  He'll
>regularly stay awake for well over an hour after we put him down.
>And it's not that he isn't tired -- he is, and it's often a major battle
>to wake him in the morning.  Naturally, that leaves him grumpy and
>cranky.
>
>Yes, we've read Ferber; I've even been known to cite him on occasion
>on the net.  For a week or two after our vacation (which involved a
>shift of many timezones), he was fine -- he'd fall asleep quickly, wake
>up on time and happy, etc.  Now he's reverted to his older schedule,
>which leaves all of us unhappy.
>
     First, I would ask if he knows a little while before he goes to bed -
say, 30 minutes before.  It's been the experience in our family that
kids need time to wind up or down for things, and so telling them when
it's b minus 30 :-), then 15 minutes till helps.  Have that period 30
minutes before be the start of storytime or whatever.
     Does he like redaing?  Maybe you can say: "You must be in bed on time;
if you are, you may read in bed for 15 more minutes before we come
in to turn off the light.  Otherwise, the light is off right away.  Then,
enforce - it'll take a while, but it could easily work, because now you
have defeated the stall by *allowing* him to go to bed but not try to
go to sleep right away.  I used to fall asleep with a book laying on my
chest quite frequently.
     For when a child is older (3 is a bit too young for them to realize
how today's actions affect tommorrow, though this part of the
cognitive development comes somewhere around 3.5), you can say:
"for every minute you're late going to bed one night, you go that much
earlier the next night."  My Aunt Cyndy has found this to be very effective
starting around age 3.5.
     Finally, except for the needed potty time, don't give in to the stalls.
When telling them it's x minutes till bedtime, say:  "This is your last
chance to get a food order in before bed," or something like that.  Oh,
and my cousins and I always had cups of water we could drink from if
we woke up thirsty.  Just another way to defeat a possible stall before
it starts.
     Forgive me if any of this repeats other posts, but I'm posting right
away to avoid taking time to read everything and hiking up my modem
bill.
-- 
Doug Fowler: dxf12@po.CWRU.edu      :    "Every baby born into the world is
Real home: Canton, Ohio             :  finer than the last."--Charles Dickens
 Trying to follow in the path of our :     "A baby is an inestimable
Lord;anything close will be a success:  blessing and bother."--Mark Twain