From: elise@ticipa.pac.sc.ti.com (Elise Wade)
Subject: Re: "Love" Triangle
Organization: Texas Instruments
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 17:41:44 GMT

In article <1992Aug22.001142.6865@cco.caltech.edu> hough@seismo.gps.caltech.edu (Susan Hough) writes:
>In article <1992Aug21.183707.1943@ticipa.pac.sc.ti.com> elise@ticipa.pac.sc.ti.com (Elise Wade) writes:
>>
>>Interesting, Susan.  What kind of work load does your social services
>>have?  The folks around here seem to be fairly decent, but they are
>>definitely overloaded.  I mean they have families with *real* problems,
>>physical & sexual abuse, drug addiction, abandonment, etc.  I cannot
>>see the rather mild case of imposition on the neighbors as being in
>>the same league with the types of cases CPS usually works on.
>
>If the first social welfare agency that you call is overloaded with
>*real* problems, you don't suppose there's a chance that they could
>still provide helpful alternative places to contact, do you?  Maybe
>they know about Headstart programs.  Maybe they know about a local
>family support agency (there was one in the town that we used to
>live in).  I'm not involved with the case currently under discussion
>here, but I was involved with something that at least sounds
>very similar.  The problem in the latter case went much, 
>much deeper than a "mild case of
>imposition on neighbors".   

Actually, I think the kind of help you are looking for really isn't
available through social services.  One of the women in my Sunday
School class used to be a social worker.  (She quit to stay home
with her first child about 5 or so years ago.  Still does quite a
bit of volunteer work.)  Her days were *very* full.  When they were
answering phones (and they *had* to spend part of the day making visits) 
their lines *always* were backed up.  The calls were things like:
  * I have a little boy here, his mom had been missing for 2 days
	and his grandmother (where I used to take him when this 
	happened) died last week.
  * The lady next door left her kids with out a baby sitter again,
        and one of them is trying to set fire to my garage.
  * I lost my second job and am running out of money.  I can't
	take care of my kids now, I need to put them in foster care.
Not to mention the calls from the county hospital reporting *clear*
cases of sexual abuse, nor the phone calls from parents who were
abusing their kids & afraid they were going to kill them.  Drug
addiction and alcohol abuse also factor into a great many of these
calls.  And, its probably only gotten worse since she quit.  

Anyway, amoung all these kinds of calls, you, Susan, are going to call
and say something like:
	My neighbors keep using me as a free babysitting service
        while the mother cleans house and the father plays video
        games all day.
Yea, right.  I suspect that most days you'ld almost be hung up on. 


>
>>parenting courses on their own if they wanted.  The social workers
>>who come to help families have *major* disasters to deal with --
>>like say alcoholic parents who have trouble staying sober & holding
>>down jobs.  These social workers don't have the time to work with only
>>mildly disfunctional families --  & frankly should be spending
>>their time with families who must have the help to survive.
>
>If you'd seen the effects on this 8-yr old girl that we dealt with,
>I wonder if you'd be so quick to describe the family as mildly
>disfunctional.  Again, the point here is that a social welfare
>agency should be aware of the support services that are available
>in a community and of the options that might be appropriate.  If
>Head Start isn't appropriate, maybe something else is.

The problem here, is that you are recommending a course of action
which you are really very uninformed about.  Sure the family could 
use some help.  Its hard to suggest places to go which are available
nationally.  But, locally, surely its pretty obvious.  Here in Dallas,
for example, there's a service called the "pediatric hotline" where
one can call with questions on a child's physical or mental health.
These folks have the time, the expertise and the knowledge to make
useful suggestions in a case like you describe.  
>  
>>Well, not only do I think it inappropriate to call CPS in such a case,
>>I suspect it could do far more harm than good. (Assuming we aren't talking
>>real neglect, just some boorish imposition on the neighbors.)  For one
>
>Go back and read the original posting.  The kids were wandering over
>to the neighbor's house at every opportunity because Dad was glued to
>video games and Mom was apparently too busy to do anything with them
>either.  In our case, this 8-yr old girl was routinely left in the care
>of here mummified grandmother who provided no supervision at all.  Now,
>how do you define real neglect?  Maybe the social welfare workers will
>indeed tell you that their hands are absolutely full with life-and-death
>cases, but at least you can call them to scope out the range of 
>support services that might be available.  

No maybe about what kinds of cases social services has. Really.  And, yes
compared to the average case, what the original post describes is
pretty mild.  The children aren't in danger.  And, an 8 year old is
probably going to be OK with out supervision you approve of.

>
>>that family ends up with a "record".  This is unfortunate and varies
>>from state to state, but its like giving someone a bad credit rating
>>-- only much worse.  No wrong doing ever has to be shown.  These laws
>>need changing, but its a fact of life now.  Thirdly, since CPS deals with
>
>This may be true, but are you really arguing that no level of parental
>neglect warrants intervention as long as the kids are clothed and fed?
>At what point _would_ _you_ define emotional neglect?

Its *not* a question of "emotional neglect".  As long is a child is clothed,
fed, receiving a reaonable amount of needed medical attention, not being
abused, not in a dangerous situation, attending school (where the age is
appropriate), and not displaying behavior which would be a danger to the 
child or others -- government intervention is trully uncalled for.  
All the children described in the posting are reasonably certain to grow 
up to be fairly functional adults.  (Maybe neurotic or self-absorbed or 
lacking really good parenting skills -- but those kind of things can be 
fixed.)  Social services exists to provide a relief of last resort.  
Attempting to use it otherwise is not going to help anyone.

> 
>Sue
>

Elise.
Newsgroups: misc.kids