From: adam@wam.umd.edu (Adam L. Greenberg)
Subject: Re: love
Summary: I had to put my two cents in. 
Organization: THE GARY ALLEN SHOW! / WMUC Radio
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1992 05:13:51 GMT

In article <92308.181634CCS105@psuvm.psu.edu> <CCS105@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>From my past f-ups and by watching people, I have come up with the following
>list, as I see it.  By no means is this the compleate list, but it is a
>starting point.
>
>1. You can't make somebody into something they are not, despite how hard you
>   wish to believe it in your hart.But remember that people can change, in
>   time.

Not true.  You CAN teach your partner how to be an EXCELLENT lover. :-)

>2. If you have a problem , don't be stubborn, because your partner can do the
>   same, and then you get nowhere.

How true.

>3. Don't lie about emotion.
>

How true.

>4. Learn to laugh when you are with someone.
>

EXTREMELY True.  I'd say what I lack in looks (well, I'm not lacking THAT much,
Jeez!...) I make up in personality.  Easily a sure winner with either gender.

>5. Kill your ego trip.
>

Hmm.  Sometimes it adds to the whole joke of the night.  But you have to play
it off the right way, making a joke of the whole thing and OF COURSE not 
seriously having an ego trip.  Make it obvious that you're mocking it or
you'll fuck it all up.  I think you get the idea.

>6. Put everything you got into your sex life
>

Not true.  Make sure you put at least 50% into the sex life of the person
whose sex life you're trying to make it into. :-)

>7. Be yourself, if you don't like yourself, then change yourself, but don't
>   whine about it.

How true.  Who gives a flying fuck?  Just be yourself and GUARANTEED someone
will like you.  Even loosen up a bit and it'll be that much better.

>8. Always find time to talk, and accept that your not perfect.
>

Moi, not perfect?  YOU must be mistaken.  NOT!  Talk AND listen, though.


>9. If you don't know what the hell your talking about, how can you be right?
>

It's easy.  Get a radio voice and you're set. :-)  Works except in the most
technical of cases.

>10. Accept it if you are wrong, but don't get defensive about the whole thing.
>

How true.  No one wants to talk to a stubborn, arrogant asshole.

>11. Try new things.
>

See my comments on #6.

>12. Think before you act.
>

Sometimes you just have to DO IT, though.

>13. Dont define love as a material object
>

No, that's cheap sex that's a material object.

>14. Know what your getting into before going into a relationship.
>

Yeah.  If you're both only in it for cheap sex, then it should be understood
that way.  Don't let either of your emotions fuck it up unless BOTH of your
emotions fuck it up, in which case you can then go to a relationship.

>15. listen to what your s.o. tells you, don't ad-lib meaning.
>

How true.

>16. Learn to forgive.
>

Well, my SO at the time screwed some guy in Florida over winter break and
didn't even bother to tell me until about four months later...when he was
on his way to her house (while I was there).  I cringed, left, let it slide
and gave her the guilt trip for about a month after that.  He didn't touch
her that night (thank God) but we've been broken up now for well over
a year...and to this day I remind her that I haven't forgotten that time.

>17. Don't be afraid to speek from the hart.
>

I think this is supposed to be HEART, but sometimes you gotta speak from
the groin, too.

>18. Those who are afraid to be held or seem to show no emotion could be
>    considered as cold for some reason or another.  don't give up on them,
>    give them some time to come around.
>

Some people are just shy.

>19. Don't force your views and opinions on others, but don't always give in,
>    you'll know when you need to make your point.
>

'Nuf said.

>20. Never have more than one lover at one time.
>

But if you can juggle them around well enough and like to live on the edge,
then power to you.  Just be safe.


>21. Don't use people.
>

See my comments to #14.


>22. Know yourself, know your s.o.
>

See my comments to #16.

>23. have some personal time for yourself, and have some time with you s.o.,
>    you need to have a balance.

That same SO wanted me to come over all the time and didn't give me room
to breathe.  That's why she's an ex-SO.

>24. live life, enjoy it like a your favorite beverage.  NOTE: living life
>    does not necessarly mean you have to do wild and crazy things.

Yeah, but sometimes they're fun.

>
>25. Let your s.o. know your feelings, in an appropriate way, but make sure they
>    understand your message.
>
>26. Don't try so hard to find someone that it is apparent, and don't crush
>    their style.
>
>27. Unless you want a child, do not screw without some form of protection.You
>    do not need 28 days of worry, belive me...it's not worth it.

Amen.

>28. If you don't understand your s.o. talk to them, don't shut them out.
>
>29. Don't just assume things.
>

NEVER assume anything.  It's not worth it.  See also #27.


>30. Donate to the Chad Smith foundation, my livelyhood is a terrible thing to
>    waste.  Ok...maybe we shouldn't include this one...well...in other words,
>    watch out for fake people, and fake love.

I'll just leave this one alone.

>31. REAlIZE that you don't love someone for thier mistakes, (unless you admire
>    them for making mistakes) but you love then for who they are, not the
>    bad things about them.

True.  And get to realize the little things you love about them, like the
freckles right on his/her cheeks that you can barely see unless you're up
close and personal...and other assorted things like that mushy stuff.

>32. If you are bored, do something interesting.  Don't just sit around and
>    watch tv, unless your not really watching the tv......

Hmm.  You can read books, listen to the radio, or in my case, BE ON the radio,
cook, clean, walk, jog, run, drive, whatever.  Or you can fuck around with
the computer and take almost an hour to respond to someone else's article :-)

>33. even if you hate your s.o.'s family be nice, even if his/her family is
>    full of idiots. They will come around in time, hopefully.

And if they don't, well then that's life.  It's your SO you're in love with,
not them.

>34. Always kiss your lover on the neck, unless they don't like that kinky stuff
>

THIS IS KINKY?  I guess the inner thigh is out of the question...

>35. Don't put yourself down too hard when you screw up.  Accept that you
>    screwed up, and go on. Carrying stuff inside you is detectable.

Just don't go around thinking "Jeez, did I fuck up!"  Get on with your life.

>36. Your concerns don't necessarly come first.
>
They may be good, but not the most important.

>37. Don't hit your s.o. or agitate him/her mentally.
>

Enough said.

>38. Try to feel and enjoy what it is like when your s.o. is around. You should
>    be able to feel something there, as in the other person makes you whole, or
>    other such expressions.  Maybe you won't always have this feeling, but that
>    doesn't mean that you don't love your s.o.
>

Just think of what it's like when he/she ISN'T around.  If that's better
than when he/she IS around, he/she should be your EX-SO.

>39. Don't meet somebody and screw them just to satisfy your hormones.
>

You have no sense of adventure.  This is okay to do with friends, but can
sometimes lead to major emotional problems when the two of you decide you
really do love each other after all these years and will probably get
married.

>40. Use common sense, accept facts as well as have a positive attitute toward
>    the impossible.  Have dreams, and desires, fullfill them.

I couldn't agree more.

>Smitty.

Campus Celebrity Gary Allen
Yes, people really DO shout my name out their dorm room windows as I pass by.