From: atario@cats.ucsc.edu (Stephen Wayne Miller)
Newsgroups: alt.shenanigans
Subject: Re: Anserphone game
Date: 9 Nov 1992 14:51:13 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: si.ucsc.edu


n5gax@leo.unm.edu (Duke McMullan (n5gax)) writes:

>In article <Bx2o6F.59y@news.iastate.edu> mandersn@iastate.edu (Mark A Anderson) writes:
>>I worked as a security guard this summer . . . .

>		Cute story deleted

>>What have you done to computer callers?

>This may be moving outside the realm of shin nanny guns, but, well, I just
>hang up on computers.  You can't insult a computer, and I've never been interes-
>ted enough to invest the time to try to screw it up.

Speaking of phone shenanigans . . .

I called up one of those ads in the classifieds that has nothing but a
number to call (I was bored, ok??).  This one offered a guaranteed job at
the U. S. Post Office.  I was surprised to hear an actual person on the
other end, who instantly launched into the most scripted load of crap you
ever heard.  She went on and on for what must have wound up being seven or
eight minutes before she stopped to ask me anything.  At this point, I
simply said, "Uh . . . I think I have the wrong number."  There was a
pause, and I could swear I heard the faintest of sighs; then she hung up.
 They're obvious as hell--
>you can hear the background hisses and clicks typical of a cheap recorder.  Any-


>way, the recording just ignores you if you try to interrupt it . . . like a pol-
>itician.  ;^)

>A live person, now, that's different.  Usually I either tell the salesbug in
>a cordial and courteous tone that I do not accept telephone solitations.  If
>I have a little time to kill, I let the critter get well into h(is/er) spiel,
>and just listen until it winds down.  This normally is followed by a leading
>question, which I do not answer.  I just listen, making no sound.  I usually
>get a couple of hellos followed by a hangup.  On a good day, the hangup is
>preceded by a bit of invective.

>Just last week, I got a call from some concern that was taking some sort of
>a poll.  Feeling beneficient, I answered the lady's questions.  Then she asked
>me if I read any magazines.  I read quite a number, and she voiced amazement
>at the (incomplete) list I reeled off.  Then she explained that for taking the
>time to participate in their poll, they were going to send me a number of
>magazines (she reeled off HER list here) for my enjoyment.

>_Then_ she mentioned that I would need to remit a small amount to defray the
>mailing costs (AHA! said my hindbrain!) . . . only about three dollars and
>mumble cents per week. (Hindbrain says $3.mumble/wk * 52 wk/yr > $150/yr.)

>At this point the silent treatment began.  She made a couple of more remarks
>and waited for my response.  A math type would note the isomorphism between
>my response and the empty set.

>The lady^H^H^H^Hgal said something like "Hello?  Hello!  Mister McMullan?",
>then to someone in the background, "He hung up on me! <interject 2 additional
>female voices, giggling> I wonder how long ago he hung up? <click!>"

>It didn't exactly make my day, but I noticed that the day had become kinder and
>gentler.

>Perhaps she was training additional salesbugs in this Evil Art, I can't say.
>Neither would I expect her to be reading this newsgroup, but just on the min-
>iscule, remote and vanishingly small chance that these words might pass her
>way, I say to you, my dear:   PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!


>Here's a story I heard from a fellow who shipped as a cook on a steamer
>out of Australia back in the 1940's. It seems the mate kept a penguin in
>his room...female, of course. The bird was no more cleanly than the mate,
>and it used to cli{{]{{~~B~~~~~~~~~~~~{{{4{{{{{{{{{{\\\\\\{{\\{\{
>~~~~xx~~x~x~neer had set up for making illegal booze, so the captain
>didn't notice when th [mmate's shoes were left abov~~~~~~~~{{{{~~{~{{
>              






>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~xxxxxxxxx~x~```````````x~X~~~Xxxxxx`x~xx`x`xxxxxxxxxx`
>[mwo of the sailors, blotto drunk, found the captain's
>private stock of rum, and "spiked" it with the engineer's bathtub booze.
>Then the stupid penguin shit in the capt~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~xx~~~x~`
>{4gation, the ship owners decided
>that the captain could, under strict probation, keep his command.



>Well, that's the guy's tale. I don't think I'll _EVER_ believe the bit
>about the broom and the belaying pin!

>						d
>-- 
>	     "Marry a Monkey or Rat late in life.  Avoid the Dog."
>			       -- From a Chinese Zodiac restaurant placemat
>Duke McMullan n5gax nss13429r phon505-255-4642 ee5391aa@triton.unm.edu (for now)
-- 
  __     | atario@cats.ucsc.edu | "Oh no!  Toonces, look out!  AIIIEEEE!"  --SNL
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