From: hwyman@next05cville.wam.umd.edu (The Hwyman)
Subject: Distress Call
Keywords: Suddenly, the moon blows up.
Organization: Workstations at Maryland, University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1992 04:18:27 GMT

I don't know where to begin or what to say.  How about my life sucks  
to hell?  Yeah, not good news.

Let's see, today was the first day of classes.  They (classes) were  
okray.  I ran into an old T.A. from last year who said she would  
write me a recommendation should I ever need one.  That was the  
highlight of the day.  Then it went down hill.

See, I had this girlfriend from last semester.  We were pretty close,  
but I had to say goodbye to her because I was heading back to Texas  
for the summer.  Now let me point out that we never planned on  
breaking up.  So I thought about her a lot during the summer.  All I  
could think about was holding her in my arms again and how excited  
she would be to see me again.

I think this is where the problem starts.  We exchanged addresses,  
but I ended up losing hers.  So I waited for her to write me so I  
could respond, but she never wrote.

Three months later, the first thing I do when I get on campus is  
login so I can get her phone number from a file.  I called but as it  
turns out, she went to New Jersey for a wedding and wouldn't be back  
until Sunday.  Of course, I left a message for her to call me.

Well, here on campus we have a voice mail system so you don't need an  
answering machine.  I spent most of Sunday checking the system almost  
every 15 mins to see if Laura had call.  She never did.

Yesterday, I did pretty much the same thing.  I did call her house a  
few times and left messages.  Her roommate told me she knew I was on  
campus, but still no calls.  Last night I called and was told she had  
gone somewhere.  Well, it sure wasn't to the campus or my dorm.

Here's where it gets good.  A number of hours ago, I heard a rumor  
that she was seeing someone else.  I was shocked and disbelieving, of  
course.  But it was only a rumor.  That's what I kept telling myself  
at least.  But yet, things started to make sense.  I was holding a  
bunch pieces to a puzzle that were starting to fit together. 

Two hours ago, I called one of her roommates and confirmed the rumor.   
It seems she is seeing her old boyfriend from high school.

I then went for an hour walk around campus.  I just had to get out of  
that dorm room.  God, I wanted to cry so badly!  Yet, I only had a  
few tears to shed.  This is the second time I've gone away and had a  
relationship fall apart.

Now, I don't know what to feel.  I am upset that I had to learn this  
from friends.  I don't understand we she couldn't tell me.  I thought  
we had more than that.  If she felt that moving on would have made  
her happier, then I feel that she has to the right to explore that  
option.  But she had no right to leave me hanging like this.

A lot of you have seen me mention Cyndy in some of my postings.   
After that ended, after all the pain I went through, I thought I  
could never love again.  A year afterwards, I hook up with Laura.   
Now the pain is back.  If this is the price I must pay each time,  
then I can't afford it.

It's getting late but I don't think I'll be able to sleep much.  And  
if I do, I hope I don't remember my dreams.  They won't be pleasant.

Well, another nice guy bit the big one.

Hwy

P.S. Sorry to be so depressing, but, for what it's worth, I think  
writing                helped.
--

Our house is not a home
And we both felt alone
It seems it is empty now
Worn and broken like our dreams...   

                  -Smithereens
         
 ____________________________________________________________________ 
______
|          /|\              Rain on the roadway,                            
|
|         /   \             thunder in the sky.                             
|
|        /  |  \    ___     The light of day disappears                     
|
|       /       \  |MAX|    from sight.                                     
|
|      /    |    \ |6 5|                                                    
|
|     /           \  |      As the Road opens up in front                   
|
|    /      |      \ |      of my eyes.  The only limitation                
|
|   /               \|      is in my mind.                                  
|
|  /        |        \                                                      
|
| /                   \                           -The Alarm                
|
|-------------------------------------------------------------------- 
------|
|     "The Hwyman"    |  "Only on after dark."                              
|
|  hwyman@wam.umd.edu |                -Outlaw Radio, 101 KLOL              
|
|-------------------------------------------------------------------- 
------|
|  4201 Centreville; College Park, Maryland 20742    phone: (301)  
314-5447 |
 -------------------------------------------------------------------- 
------







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`
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