From: jurista@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.jurista)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Little Boy/Old Man
Summary: Origin, and a joke
Date: 15 Oct 92 17:02:00 GMT
Organization: AT&T

The "Little Boy/Old Man" scene someone posted a while back where a boy
complains that he can't do what the big boys do is actually a verse from
the song "Man Smart, Woman Smarter".  I don't know who wrote it, but
it's been performed by (first) Harry Belafonte and the Grateful Dead.

And, since I suppose I can't very well post without including something
remotely funny, here's a (long, old) joke:

A man walks into a bar and sits down.  After ordering a beer, he says
to the bartender, "How'd you like to make some money?  I'll bet you
fifty bucks I can bite my eye."  The bartender figures no one can bite
his eye, so he says, "OK, you're on."  The man takes out his glass left
eye, puts it in his mouth, and bites it, then pops it back in the socket.

The bartender can't believe he fell for it, but he pays the man and goes
about his business.  A few minutes later, the man at the bar says to
the bartender, "How'd you like to make that money back?  Double or 
nothing I can bite my other eye."  The bartender watched the man walk
in without a cane or guide dog, so he figures they guy can't have two
glass eyes.  "OK, I'd like to see you do it," he says.  The man takes 
out his false teeth, puts them up to his right eye and closes them on
the eye, then puts them back in his mouth.

The bartender is really grumbling now, since he's out $100.  About an
hour later, the man at the bar speaks up again.  "How'd you like to
make your money back, bartender?"  By this time the bartender's wary
for tricks, so he says, "What's your game?"  And the man says, "I'll
bet you double or nothing that if you put a shot glass on the other 
end of the bar, I'll stand on this end and piss into that shot glass
without missing or spilling a drop."  The bartender knows that the guy 
has had a dozen beers, and he hasn't seen him go to the bathroom once in all
that time.  He figures that the guy must have a full bladder and be 
really drunk; thus he probably couldn't even piss into a urinal at
point-blank range, much less a shot glass twenty feet away.

"OK, go ahead!" says the bartender.

The guy gets up on the bar as the bartender sets a shot glass at the
far end.  He unzips his fly and starts to piss - all over the place!
It's on the floor, the stools, all over the bar, but not a drop in
the shot glass.  

The bar's a mess, but the bartender is happy because he's won the 
bet and is getting his money back.  So he is smiling, whistling, and
laughing as he cleans up the bar, wiping it happily starting at the
end where the shot glass was.  As he gets down to the end where the 
bettor is waiting with his money, the bartender notices that the
guy is also smiling very broadly.  "I can't understand why you're
smiling," says the bartender.  "After all, I just got all that money
back from you, so I'm happy, but you have to part with it, so what
are you so happy about?"  

The man at the bar says, "See those three guys crying at the corner table?"
The bartender looks and sees just that.  "I just bet them $500 I could piss 
all over your bar and make you wipe it up with a smile on your face!"

---
Hope it was worth it!

Jim