From: rpowers@panix.com (Richard Powers)
Subject: Re: My turn to rant.
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1992 06:44:07 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: PANIX Public Access Unix, NYC
Keywords: life sucks

In <9NOV199218544448@cc.utah.edu> rsr4936@cc.utah.edu (Reay, Robert S.) writes:
>In article <1992Nov7.093155.21596@panix.com>, rpowers@panix.com (Richard Powers) writes...

>{Why exactly am I still here?  What do I think I can salvage out of this
>{miserable thing I call a life?

>I hate to tell you this, Richard, but you are depressing the hell out 
>of me.

This *is* a.s.h. we're talking about here.  You're suprised something
posted here is depressing?

>Let's see all the things you think aren't worth living for:

>{Friends?
>{Romance?
>{Family?
>{Work
>{School
>{Recreation time.  (Not-work, not-school)
>{Learning  (Maybe should have been under "school"- but maybe not).
>{Material possessions.
>{God/religion.

>It seems to me (IMHO, of course) that you spend much time looking for 
>things wrong with life in general.  There will always, ALWAYS, be 
>stupidity, hate, wrong, etc. wether you look for such things or not.

I think you're missing the point.  That list wasn't of things I find wrong
with life.  It was of things that people traditionally say are the things
to live for, and how they are lacking.  (At least in my life).

>{So.  Why do I continue through my mothers death, my best friends mother
...

>I can certainly understand your misery.  Instead of pity, let me tell 
>you that I've experienced much of what you describe above, and many 
>other things as bad.  I have lived under the same conditions as you 
>for most of my 23 years, yet I am really a happy person.  I only 
>subscribe to this group to remind me how bad things could get for me 
>if I would let them.

>I have developed some tricks to fight my own personal blackness, maybe 
>some of them would apply to you.

>	Look for the positive.  Trust me, there is also good in the 
>                world.

But not enough.  And its not often very evident.

There are some times I can see the positive.  _Sometimes_.

>	Laugh at everything.  The most miserable years of my life were 
>		in Jr. high school.  I tried not to smile, or laugh at 
>		anything, the reasoning being that if people noticed 
>		how miserable I was, they would sympathize.  Yeah, 
>		right.  Becoming able to laugh at my own pain and make
>		light of suffering made all the difference.

Funny thing is (strange-funny); I think a some people think I'm a fairly
happy person.  When interacting with people, it doesn't take much to bring
a smile to my face.  (Unless I'm in a particularly foul mood).  But that
smile doesn't mean much.  It doesn't go very deep.  I guess you could say
its like I have a low tolerance.  I so seldom have reason to smile that it
doesn't take much to bring one on.

>	I' m  sort of ashamed at my last trick.  It involves finding 
>		someone more miserable than you and saying to yourself
>		"Gee, I'm glad I'm not that person!"  It helps to find
>		someone that deserves to be as miserable as they are.
>		The saving grace of this trick is that it forces you 
>		to think about the things you have that others do not.

This is something I cannot/would not do.  One thing I do feel good about
is how I treat other people.  This may make me a "nice guy" (the type who
finish last), but thats who I am.

>Some (or none) of these might help.  I feel that just posting here 
>helps (it always feels good to talk.)

Thats why I posted in the first place.

>Rob

Rich.


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