From: clare@nynexst.com (Clare Chu)
Subject: Re: Asian males aren't attractive? (was Re
Organization: Nynex Science and Technology
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 92 14:24:28 GMT

In article <1992Dec11.210306.10986@nas.nasa.gov> choi@win48.nas.nasa.gov (Diana Choi) writes:
>In article <1gaoreINN919@male.EBay.Sun.COM> (defenso libertatis) writes:
>>In article r@mentor.cc.purdue.edu, cogsdell@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (tony c) writes:
>>> Could this have somthing to do with (RACEism) in America?
>>> 
>>> ....Because black men were slaves to white men?
>>> 
>>> ....Because black men have less opportunites to obtain wealth in Amerikkka? 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Suggestions?          
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Thanks!                                  Tony L. Cogdell
>>
>>Tony,
>>
>>Funny you should ask that question too! I also never seem
>>to get a reak answer when I ask certain people why they date
>>this or that group. Did you read my post (kinda long I admit)
>>number 17395?
>>
>>In it I spoke about a question I asked a certain asian females:
>>
>>"Was race EVER a factor in your decision to date a white guy? 
>>If not, why didn't you date a black guy or Latino if race
>>was not really an issue?"
>
>But many of us did.  Right, ladies?  Why didn't we discuss this?  Actually,
>Clare Chu did.  The rest of probably refrained because the subject was AMCF 
>vs AFCM. 
>
>diana

  Because Clare Chu is probably the only lady in this group who
  has dated Black and Latino men.  Nice to know that I "represent"
  many ladies in this group.  The rest probably refrained since they
  can't answer Defenso Libertatis' question.  So I'll answer it for
  them.  You got to make a conscious decision to date outside your
  race, because while growing up, the default situation in your
  mind and your parents' minds is to date your own ethnic group.
  (At least that is how I was brought up).  Defenso Libertatis'
  probably knows about this in terms of heterosexism.  The default,
  the assumed, the given, is that he would date women.  If he made
  no comment, people assumed he would date women.  Same way if you're
  an ethnic minority.  People assume your boyfriend, husband, SO
  is Asian.  (Although these days maybe Asians assume he's White!,
  but most Whites I meet still assume he's Asian).  I get comments like
  wow, a Chinese named Jose!  Right...

  What made me decide to date outside my race?  Lack of opportunity, mainly.
  Since men do the asking, an Asian man has a better chance of controlling
  who he dates because he picks who he asks or doesn't ask.  Since women
  usually don't ask, they only get to choose from the guys who ask.  If
  most of the guys who ask are nonAsian (depending on what neighborhood
  you live in they can be white, Black, or Hispanic), then you pick and
  choose from that group.  If you are determined to date within your own
  race, then you have a LONG wait.  Ask any of my still-single Asian female
  friends.  They ARE the ones holding out for an Asian man.  All the others
  have married nonAsian men, including Mexican-Americans and whites and
  some Blacks.

  Now we come to the answer of Defenso Libertatis' question.  Now that
  we've decided to date outside the Asian (or ethnic subculture) group,
  we are confronted with a choice--- White, Black or Hispanic.  Since
  most Asian Americans live in upscale neighborhoods (or at least the
  ones who post to this net do), then chances are they are more exposed
  to White culture than Black and Latino.  Also the power-structure is
  clearly tilted towards the Whites.  As well as media-biased beauty standards.
  Hey, I used to think my nose was flat.  Now I think theirs are too pointy!
  It all comes from being aware that an American is not necessarily a white
  American.  That the "normal American" is not necessarily one with pale skin,
  pointy nose, hair ranging from blonde to dark brown and overhanging brows
  and deep eye sockets.  How many of us have tried to follow makeup books
  that say, put shadow in crease and wondered, "What crease?"  So naturally
  a lot of us think that to "mainstream" oneself, means to align themselves
  with the white power structure.  So now race and American-style racism is
  playing a role since the Black and Latino man is not viewed as a "regular
  American".  Thus the disparate ratios towards whites.