From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Picking up the Tab (was: Re: What is gold-digging?)
Date: 15 Dec 92 22:35:56 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <1992Dec15.190223.22158@cbnewsk.cb.att.com> krw@cbnewsk.cb.att.com (keith.r.smith) writes:
>In article <15904@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:

|>I can't believe this.  Three knee jerk responses in a row.  Look at the
|>first five words of Lauren's article (If a man asks me out).  It looks to
|>me like Lauren is describing a "traditional" date, in which case traditional
|>values should hold.  If *I* ask a woman out for dinner (which I assume
|>we're talking about here) I will *at least* offer to pay.  I am probably
|>going to choose the restaurant, or at least give the woman a choice of places
|>to go, in which case I am not going to expect the woman to pay.  Not even
|>half.  I am asking her out and treating her to dinner. 
|
|John,
|Please be advised that I am well-aware of the traditions here, being a
|life-long citizen of this country.  I am simply questioning the built-in
|assumptions _behind_ the tradition.  An answer like:
|
|	"But this is how it has _always_ been done."
|
|does not "cut it" with me.... you have to do better!

Fine.  However, I live with it and you bitch about it.  Which do you think
is more attractive?  If I ask a woman out for dinner on a "traditional
date" I am doing so because I want to get to know the woman better.  I am
asking for the pleasure of her company and the chance to display attractive
qualities that I might have, one of which is my generosity to those that
I care for.  I think that treating someone to dinner at a nice restaurant 
providing interesting conversation, and generally pampering someone is
a pretty nice thing to do.  I figure that women like nice things done for
them instead of getting stuck with a bill when they didn't expect it.

|When you go someplace with one of your homeboys, who pays?

Depends on the occasion. 

|Does it matter who invited who?

In the case of the "traditional" date, absolutely.  

|Also, wherein did Lauren _specify_ that it was "traditional", or a "date"?
 
She didn't explicitly say it was a traditional date, but I read "being asked
out by a man that she didn't know well" as a traditional date.  You seem
to have interpreted it differently since youv'e equated what Lauren has
described with "going out with the homeboys".

|>If she asked me out
|>it might be different.  This is different than, say, asking someone to meet
|>me after work for a couple of drinks.  Of course in that case this would
|>probably take place in a bar and she'd just be a cheap, sleazy, hussy anyway
|>and it wouldn't make any difference if I had and class. 
|>
|Are you sure that a "smiley" is not appropriate here? 

Probably, but I rarely use smilies.  I don't believe in them.  Unfortunately,
I was making a reference to a thread in ba.singles which I was informed that
only "cheap, sleazy, hussy's" could be found in bars and not RealWomen(tm).
He didn't use a smiley when he told me that either nor did I need one to 
recognize the satire.  You probably would have caught the reference had 
you been reading ba.singles.  Then again, maybe not.

|Have you never met
|a female-just-friend-co-worker after work for a coupla' drinks?

Yes, but she wasn't a co-worker.

| Was she a cheap, sleazy hussy?

No, she paid her share for the drinks.

| Is she reading this?  :-)
 
Probably, and I suspect I'm about to get a phone call.

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: soc.singles