From: dzeigler@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (Daniel R Zeigler)
Subject: Taming the Tongue and Controlling the Keyboard (2)
Summary: Application of Matthew 18 to Flaming
Organization: The Ohio State University
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 18:17:40 GMT


Dear Christia-ns:

On Monday I tried to apply Ephesians 4:29 to our communication via the net.  
Paul's exhortation for us is to make every word count towards edifying the 
church.  Hope that passage was beneficial for you to think about, as it was for
me.

Here's a second principle for our prayerful consideration.  This one is
straight from the lips of Jesus of Nazareth:

     "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just
     between the two of you.  If he listens to you, you have won your
     brother over.  But if he will not listen, take one or two others
     along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony
     of two or three witnesses.'  If he refuses to listen to them, tell
     it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church,
     treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector." (Mt 18:15-17)

Not all of this passage applies directly to Christia.  Christia is not, of
course, a church, or even a para-church organization, so we shouldn't treat it
like one.  But let's do apply those principles in our churches!  Sometimes a
brother or sister offends us.  Jesus instructs us to approach him or her
directly and discreetly, with humility and vulnerability, and with a heart set
on restoring the relationship.  How often we leapfrog past that step--and the
next--and go straight to "informing" the church.  Gossip never restores a
broken relationship; slander of a brother in sin rarely leads him to
repentance. May none of us ever be overcome by evil in this way.  May we
overcome evil with good!

But there is a way to apply at least one part of Jesus' teaching here directly
to our relationships on Christia.  We could call it the "Just Between the Two 
of You" principle.

What I mean is this.  Suppose someone posts an article you disagree with.  (It
has been known to happen * occasionally *, hasn't it?)  How do you handle it?
I'd suggest the "Just Between the Two of You Principle" makes the decision
simple.  You have the choice between replying publicly, on the network, or
privately, via e-mail.  If you feel you have something worthwhile to say about
the * content * of the offending post, go ahead and submit it to the list.
(But let's let Jesus be Lord of that decision; it may be He wants us to remain
silent sometimes--you know, "slow to speak and quick to listen?")  But if you
feel you need to address a personal exhortation or challenge to the offending
party, why not take care of that business "just between the two of you?"

For example:

Joe@heresy.state.univ writes: "I think Gnosticism is great.  There's so much 
esoteric wisdom to learn that orthodox Christians won't teach you.  And
besides, since I realized that my body doesn't effect my spirit, I've had all
sorts of guilt-free fun ... " And so on.

You might wish to respond * publicly * on the net:

"Recently we read an article advocating Gnosticism.  I have some grave
concerns about that.  I'd like to share with you my insights, based on the book
of 1 John ... "

* Privately *, you may wish to correspond with Joe via e-mail:

"Dear Joe--I'm afraid for your spiritual condition because of your dabbling in
Gnosticism.  It could separate you from Christ!  Please read my posting about
the subject and let's talk about it soon ... "

But suppose you post that to all 100 or 1000 of us that read Christia.  You 
have violated the principle of "just between the two of you."  You've backed 
Joe into the corner, and he will probably respond with a flame! (He might even 
regard it as guilt-free fun.)  Unless you exercise extreme self-control, you 
might be drawn into a flame war in short order.  And even if you don't, a 
weaker brother or sister on the net may be caused to stumble.  It will be 
partly your responsibility if that happens!

"Just between the two of you" means that we need to keep the public things 
public and the private things private--for the sake of maintaining peace in the
Body of Christ and for the sake of winning over an erring brother in a much 
more effective way.

Please consider this principle.  I've got one more passage to share regarding 
"flaming"--but it will have to wait a few days.

Grace and peace to you!
Daniel
Comments: Gated by NETNEWS@AUVM.AMERICAN.EDU