From: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Subject: Re: How to Break a Shrieking Habit?
Reply-To: dxf12@po.CWRU.Edu (Douglas Fowler)
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 92 15:02:03 GMT


In a previous article, jean@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Jean Jasinski) says:

>My three year old son has a really annoying habit that we would
>like to break:  he shrieks.  This really high-pitched, hurt the ears,
>headache causing pierce.  He does it when he is happy; he does it when
>he plays chasing games; and he does it when he is angry.  It has caused
>innocent bystanders in the mall (with 30 foot ceilings) to plug their
>ears.
>
>We want it to stop.  We have tried to pleasantly remind him every time
>he does it that he should not scream.  We touch him (get his attention
>and eye contact) and firmly say "No screaming!"  This doesn't seem to
>be working.  If he does it in the bath, we immediately remove him from
>the tub.  The gentle reinforcement method doesn't seem to be working.
>It's time for the haul out the big consequences.  Only problem is,
>what should they be?????  Immediately removing him from the situation is
>not always feasible (middle of dinner at the mall, doctor's office,
>during preschool).  Yet if we delay the consequence (timeout when we
>get home), it doesn't seem to mean anything.  A shriek back at him
>only sends him into hysterics with the words, "You hurt-a mine ears!"
>yet explaining that he just did the same thing to me doesn't seem
>to sink in.  I don't want to spank him.
>
>My son was recently diagnosed with a Sensory Integration problem,
>and his verbal skills are about 6-9 months behind.  (He is in 
>occupational therapy now).  I am never sure how much he really
>understands.  We think his screaming is more of a habit than some
>subtle communication tool.  
>
>Any ideas?
>
     Well, shrieking back would be my first thought; at 3, a lot of kids
would understand - of course, maybe it's one of those things that just takes
a while to sink in.  Maybe next week the connection will just be there, like
magic.  Another thing to rule out is a hearing disorder - if he was shrieking
to see reactionss, but didn't know how painful it was, he wouldn't have
complained about how you hurt his ears when you shrieked back.
     Perhaps you should give this a try:  Establish a set time and place for
shrieking - for instance, he has to be in his room, and it has to be a certain
time of day, like right after lunch or something.  Just tell him that if he
feels like shrieking, he has to wait; he seems to enjoy it, so teach him to just
control himself.  Once he gets that self-control down, make the time a little
less each week; from an hour in which he can shriek to 30 minutes, then to 20,
and so on.  Show him that he can take control of his own desires to shriek
at the top of his lungs.  I read somewhere where parents did this to combat
tantrums in a 3YO - the idea was that the kid had lost control, so they set
up official "tantrum times," and made the kid hold his tantrums until that
time.  They eventually went away altogether, like any bad habit will when you
learn to control it.
-- 
Doug Fowler: dxf12@po.CWRU.edu      :    "Every baby born into the world is
Real home: Canton, Ohio             :  finer than the last."--Charles Dickens
 Trying to follow in the path of our :     "A baby is an inestimable
Lord;anything close will be a success:  blessing and bother."--Mark Twain