From: efb@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Fred Byon)
Subject: BubbleGum Trek Part 3.2 - The Final Battle (continued)
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 02:17:53 GMT

PART 3.2: THE FINAL BATTLE (CONTINUED)

SYLIA:  Well, I guess I can be conceited for once in my life...am I a 
genius or what?  (chuckles)

LINNA:  Okay...now how is this "war game" going to work?

SYLIA:  The object is to "kill" your opponent.  Needless to say, you don't
actually get killed; remember, this is ONLY a simulation.  We will both have
100% simulated shield power and it will go down every time you get hit by
something.  We will both have all available weapons in our disposal, and you may
use whatever you have at your disposal.  You may NOT, however, come into close
physical contact with your opponent; any contact that is initiated will cost
shield power.  Also, you may not leave the imaginary five kilometer radius from
the ship; this will also cost shield power.  Any questions?

LINNA:  I think I understand.

SYLIA:  You realize, of course, that it's not going to be easy to defeat
me.

LINNA (smiles):  Well, there's always the...first time.  Never underestimate
the quickness of Linna Yamazaki!

SYLIA:  But this is a brand new hardsuit you're wearing.  And since I 
designed it...

LINNA:  So you have an advantage over me.  Big deal.  Like you said, we've
faced the odds before.  And I intend to...um, kick some feminine ass.  Now...
no more talk.  Let's get it on.  (somewhat hungry look on Linna's face)

SYLIA:  Ready?

LINNA:  As ready as I wanna be.

SYLIA:  Go!

(At that instant, Sylia fires a simulated phaser beam and it hits Linna
squarely on her hardsuit chestplate.  Linna notices that her shield power
dropped to 82 percent.  She then uses her impulse power to hide behind the
Knight Saber ship.)

LINNA:  Clever, clever.  Maybe a bit devious too.

SYLIA:  Well, aren't you going to come out of there?  Certainly you're not
going to chicken out already.  (chuckles)

LINNA:  Chicken?  Well, if I'm the chicken...

(Just then, Linna goes at warp speed under the Knight Saber ship and fires a
photon torpedo at Sylia.  Sylia tries to get out of the way but is nailed on
the shoulder)

LINNA:  ...then you must be the turkey.

SYLIA:  Hmmm...you certainly still have a lot of your old skills.

(Linna stops herself and faces Sylia once more)

SYLIA:  But try to dodge this!

(Sylia fires another phaser beam but Linna manages to dodge it somehow)

LINNA:  Ha!  Gee, you must be getting old.  You're probably hiding all that
grey hair.

SYLIA:  But I'm just warming up!

(Sylia uses her warp speed and fires a photon torpedo of her own.  Linna tries
to duck but it hits her in the helmet)

LINNA:  Lucky shot...(thinks of a word) bitch!

SYLIA:  Hey, who are you calling a...

LINNA:  Catch me if you can!  Computer, three quarters impulse power!

(Linna zooms off.  Sylia engages her impulse power and chases Linna)

SYLIA:  So you're going to play cat and mouse with me, eh?

LINNA:  Oh really?  Who's the cat?

(Linna disengages and uses her warp capability again.  She goes under Sylia
who is still in impulse and nails Sylia on the leg with a phaser beam)

LINNA:  Well, I guess I am.

SYLIA:  Ever watch those "Tom and Jerry" cartoons?

(Sylia recovers quickly and hurls another phaser blast.  It hits Linna on
the back.)

LINNA:  Aaack!  Caught me asleep!

SYLIA:  Now I've got you! 

(Sylia fires another torpedo but Linna netralizes it by firing one of her
own torpedoes)

SYLIA:  Nifty move.  But can you handle this?

(Sylia fires a barrage of phasers at Linna.  Linna successfully manages to
dodge most of them but is then nailed on her thigh) 

(Linna notices on her helmet faceplate that her shield power dropped twenty
percent)

LINNA:  Huh?  I'm down to thirty-three percent!

SYLIA:  Try adjusting the magnitude of your fire...whoops, I shouldn't be
telling you that...

LINNA:  Hey, NIFTY IDEA!

(Linna fires a barrage of your own.  Sylia goes between the phaser fire
and avoids most of it, but is then nailed on her rear end.  Sylia's shield
power drops to 45 percent)

SYLIA:  So you think you can pull of the...BIG upset here? 

LINNA:  Yeah!  Eat some stardust, you...

(Just then, Linna is kicking into warp again)

SYLIA:  Well, guess again!

(Before Linna's engines roar completely to life, Sylia fires at the tiny
nacelles and nails one of them)

(Inside Linna's hardsuit, the faceplate viewscreen indicate "Warp Engines
Offline")

LINNA:  Dang it!  And I'm losing shield power fast!

SYLIA:  Prepare to die, female scum!

(But then, Linna locks on target some more phaser fire and yet another
torpedo.  Both nail Sylia dead on.)

(Sylia then notices that her shield power is down to eight percent.
Meanwhile, Linna positions herself opposite Sylia on the other side of
the Knight Saber ship.)

LINNA:  This is it.  It's been nice knowing you, Sylia.

SYLIA:  Yeah.  Too bad you'll be going to heaven first...

(Several minutes pass in the stalemate.  Neither woman appears to be ready to
take the initiative)

SYLIA:  Come out of there, you chicken!  BAWK BAWK BAWK!

LINNA:  GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!

(Just then, Linna takes a lunge over the Knight Saber ship, while at the
same time, Sylia goes under it.  They both fire at each other at the same
time and they both score direct hits on each other.)

(Once again, they are opposite each other, with the ship between them)

SYLIA:  What?  I'm out of shield power!

LINNA:  Eeek!  Likewise!

SYLIA:  Whoever scores next wins... 

(Sylia and Linna stare at each other, helmet to helmet)

LINNA:  Bitch!

SYLIA:  Scum!

(Linna suddenly makes a jolt around the Knight Saber ship.  Sylia holds her
position.  When Linna makes the turn, she fires two torpedoes, while at the
same time, Sylia launches another barrage of high-degree phaser fire)

(Both women manage to avoid the first round of fire, but both are then hit
on the side of their helmets with their respective fire)

(Both women recover, but the message "Winner Linna" pops on both of their
viewscreen helmets)

LINNA:  I WIN!

(A slow motion replay appears, indicating that Linna's fire found its mark
a split second before Sylia's)

SYLIA:  Oh darn!

LINNA:  Linna Yamazaki---champion of the universe!  Good match, nevertheless.

(They shake hands)

(Later, they return back to the Knight Saber ship and change into normal
clothes.)

LINNA:  That was fun!  I liked being your enemy for once.  Sure don't want
to make it a habit, though...

SYLIA:  Yes, I must admit, it was...fun.   

LINNA:  But somehow...

SYLIA:  Hmm?

LINNA:  I almost got the impression...you were just...easy on me on purpose.

SYLIA:  Easy on you?

LINNA:  You seemed to be a bit...slower than usual.

(Sylia raises and eyebrow and smiles)

LINNA:  Oh, come on!  You WANTED me to win, didn't you?

SYLIA (laughs lightly):  I'll never tell.

(SCENE:  Another location in outer space.  The Borg ship remains stationery.
Inside the ship, Largo is making adjustments to various members of the
Borg.)

BORG:  AS YOU MAY BE AWARE, WE ARE STILL MAKING AN ANALYSIS ON WHO AND WHAT
YOU ARE.

LARGO (groans):  Well, what else do you need to know?  We have a lot in
common.

BORG:  CORRECT.  HOWEVER, AN INORGANIC SHOULD NOT SHOW ORGANIC BEHAVIOR.
ORGANIC BEHAVIOR IS...

LARGO:  ...is IRRELEVANT.  Yeah yeah yeah, I could have guessed.  You know,
your dialogue is getting too predictable...

BORG:  ONLY THE BORG SHALL DETERMINE WHAT THE BORG WILL SAY.  

LARGO:  And Largo shall determine what Largo will say.  Can't you guys use
pronouns more often?

BORG:  YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN BE INSUBORDINATE...

LARGO:  Okay okay!  I'll shut myself up.

BORG:  WE HAVE DISCOVERED THAT YOU HAVE ACCESSED THE BORG'S MANUVERABILITY
OF THIS SHIP, ALONG WITH SOME OTHER SECONDARY BORG SYSTEMS.

LARGO:  That's not my fault.  You ALLOWED me, remember?  I wasn't ready to
face...that "irrelevant" ship you were referring to a while ago.

BORG:  AFTER ANALYSIS, THE BORG...WE ARE MUCH STRONGER THAN THE BLUE
IRRELEVANT SHIP.  THEREFORE, YOUR ACTIONS WERE DEEMED IRRELEVANT.

LARGO:  Maybe.

BORG:  WE HAVE A POSITIVE CONFIRMATION.

LARGO:  But are you sure about that?

BORG:  THE BORG DOES NOT BELIEVE IN UNCERTAINTY.  UNCERTAINTY IS...

LARGO:  DON'T SAY IT!  The reason why I'm asking is because...I am familiar
with the persons who control that "irrelevant" ship.

BORG:  WHY ARE ORGANICS RELEVANT TO YOU?

LARGO:  Because that ship represented a force that foiled me zillions of time
some three hundred years ago.

BORG:  THE BORG DOES NOT COMPREHEND.

LARGO:  On Earth, back when I was still an...organic, I wanted to rule the
Earth.  The "stronger force" that stopped me from doing so was a group
of cybernetic young women.

BORG:  A GROUP OF ORGANIC-INORGANIC BEINGS?

LARGO:  Uhhhhh....well not exactly.  They were called the Knight Sabers, a
powerful mercenary group that were always OUT to get me.  They ARE organic;
they just were a guise that is inorganic.  Their powerful hardsuits always
managed to find a way to destroy my boomers.  I'm not too sure what their
REAL names are, but I am familiar with...their leader.

BORG:  WHAT RELEVANCE DOES THIS HAVE?

LARGO:  It's relevant to ME, you...oh, well anyway, I, um, LOVED this person
back in the 21st century, and I kinda wanted her to be my bride so that we,
um, can BOTH rule the earth together.  But obviously, she didn't want to;
I killed her father, who was one of the architects of boomer technology, and
as a result, I gained access to boomers.  She didn't like it, and you can
guess the rest of the story.

BORG:  IF YOU ARE INORGANIC, THEN YOU SHOULD NOT BELIEVE IN LOVE.  LOVE IS
AN EMOTION.

LARGO:  I can't help that!  Come on, I don't want to argue about this again...

BORG:  YOU ARE STILL VERY INCOMPREHENSIBLE.  WE INTEND TO MAKE A FINAL
ANALYSIS OF YOU, IMMORTAL LARGO, LATER.

LARGO:  Oh, do what you have to!  But are still on the same side, aren't we?
I hope you understand why I turned this ship around when...

BORG:  YOU STILL DO UNEXPLAINABLE ACTIONS.  THAT IS IRRELEVANT.

LARGO:  It's not easy to defeat the Knight Sabers!

BORG:  THEN YOU ARE WEAK.  WEAKNESSES ARE IRRELEVANT.

LARGO:  Don't we all have weaknesses?

BORG:  YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN MAKING BORG LOGIC INFERIOR.  THE BORG IS NOT WEAK.

LARGO:  Well, I found out that the Enterprise destroyed one of your
previous Borg ships!  So there! 

BORG:  ILLEGAL ACCESS INTO BORG SYSTEMS IS IRRELEVANT.  MAKING BORG LOGIC
INFERIOR IS IRRELEVANT.

LARGO:  Look, can we stop this argument?  Take a look at what I've done to
some of your Borg...

(Shot of Largo's brand new "BoomerBorgs")

BORG:  SOME OF OUR BORG MEMBERS INDICATE INCREASED POWER TO BORG INDIVIDUALS.

LARGO:  See?  These boomer outfits will make you STRONGER.  And assuming 
that you weren't, um, weak in the first place, this will make you virtually
invincible.

BORG:  THE BORG IS...IMPRESSED.

LARGO:  Glad to hear it.  I hope that this will...straighten out our 
differences.

BORG:  HAPPINESS IS IRRELEVANT.  HOPEFULNESS IS IRRELEVANT.  EMOTIONS ARE
IRRELEVANT.

LARGO:  Oh, geeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz.....well, isn't being impressed
an emotion?

BORG:  YOU ARE MAKING BORG LOGIC INFERIOR...       

LARGO (large groan):  Okay okay...but can we still agree on one thing?

(pause throughout the ship)

LARGO:  The Knight Sabers are...irrelevant.

BORG:  AGREED.

(SCENE:  Enterprise, Ten-Forward Lounge.  Priss is at the bar.  She offers
her empty glass to Guinan for a refill)

GUINAN:  If memory serves correct, you've been here all day.

PRISS (hiccups):  Yeah, so what?  What does it matter to you?

GUINAN:  In the past, if a crewmember stays here for more than two hours,
then that's a sign that something is wrong.

PRISS:  Oh, so you're a psycho like Counselor Toy?

GUINAN:  Um, that's TROI, Lieutenant.

PRISS:  Whatever.  This ship is filled with looney people...

GUINAN:  To answer your question, no, I am not a psychic.  My race is
more similar to humans on Earth rather than Betazoids, only with a longer
life span.

PRISS:  Really?  You sure look like some actress I saw a LONG time ago.
There was this movie called "Sister Act" and one of those nuns look just
like you.

GUINAN:  Well, I don't think I've ever been an actress before.

PRISS:  Oh, sorry.  I think her name was "Whoopie" something...

GUINAN:  Mind telling me what's on your mind?

PRISS:  Yes, I do mind.

GUINAN:  I promise I won't tell.

PRISS:  Think I care? 

GUINAN:  I can help.  I've been beneficial before to many other crewmembers,
not to sound arrogant of course, but...

PRISS:  Look, to be honest with you, people with purple-colored hats REALLY
can't help me.  Now could you just refill my glass and leave me alone,
please?

GUINAN:  Very well, very well.  You know where to find me if you need me.

(Priss sneers)

(Guinan comes over and refills Priss's glass and tends to other business) 

(We now see Commodore McNickol and Riker enter Ten-Forward)

RIKER:  So you've known Admiral Bennett Kyson before?

MCNICKOL:  Uh-huh.  I had to put up with him some eight years ago.

RIKER:  What happened?

MCNICKOL:  Before I transferred to the USS Akagi, I served under Kyson 
on the USS Hong Kong as a Lieutenant.  Yeesh, Kyson sure was a JERK! 
He kept blaming everyone on the bridge even when the smallest things 
went wrong.  And one of the funnier things about him is that he kept speaking
fluent Japanese all the time.  I think one of his favorite phrases was
"baka", which meant "stupid" or something like that.

RIKER:  He speaks Japanese?  A name like "Kyson" sounds pretty caucasian to
me...

MCNICKOL:  I think he is.  As with my distant relative Leon McNickol, Kyson
was one of those..."American-like" people that grew up in Japan.  I think
his family background had a pretty bad temperment, and it sure shows.  Frankly,
I'm really suprised that he's an admiral now.  I feel sorry for all those
people who work for him at Starfleet Headquarters.  I'm certainly glad that
I only had to put up with him for only a month.  My time on the Akagi were
certainly among the greater moments of my life.

RIKER:  Think you might become an admiral someday?

MCNICKOL:  Sure like to take the test sometime, but I think it's still down
the road for me.  I already have the honor of being one of the younger
commodores in Starfleet, and I don't think I could become an admiral just
like that.  Also, I've never had my own command, which hurts, and I
certainly don't have any ambitions of attaining it.  I'm pretty happy the
way I am now.  Being a historian is a lot of fun, collecting rare planetary
artifacts and stuff like that...

RIKER:  I think you would make a good captain of a starship.

MCNICKOL:  Maybe.  But I prefer being a follower than a leader.  Hasn't that
been the case for you?  You've been executive officer on the Enterprise for
almost five years, right?

RIKER:  Well, I did take command of the Enterprise during the first Borg
invasion.  

MCNICKOL:  But that was just one time.  Didn't you turn down three commands or
something like that?

RIKER:  Yeah yeah yeah.  Are you trying to rub it in or something?  Okay, I
admit it.  I'm too attached to this ship.

MCNICKOL:  Like a fly caught in superglue, eh?

RIKER:  Well, I wouldn't call it that, but...

MCNICKOL:  Frankly, if you did accept a command, I bet you'd be the next
James Kirk of Starfleet.

RIKER:  Oh, please!  I've heard THIS comparison before...

MCNICKOL:  I think Picard should be an admiral soon.  He's been commanding
starships for some twenty five plus years.  I've heard zillions of stories
about his exploits on the Stargazer.  And I think he probably had a full
head of hair back then.

RIKER:  Um, don't remind him about that if you ever bring this up to him...

MCNICHOL:  Why not?  Is he used to having no hair now?

RIKER:  It was on the Stargazer that his first officer Jack Crusher was 
killed and Jean-Luc was partially responsible for it.

MCNICKOL:  Jack Crusher...where have I heard that name?

RIKER:  He was the husband of Beverly Crusher, the Enterprise's chief medical
officer.

MCNICKOL:  Ah, okay.  Okay, so there were a few...DARK moments.  But seriously,
if Picard was promoted to admiral and you were offered command of the
Enterprise, would you take it?

RIKER:  I...I'm not sure.  Geez, that hasn't happened to me yet so...

MCNICKOL:  Well, anyway, I'll let you ponder on that.  In the meantime, I'll
go mingle with some of the other crewmembers. 

RIKER:  Very well.  I have to meet someone here anyway.  See you later.

(Riker sits down at an empty table and waits for someone.  McNickol then
notices Priss at the bar)

MCNICKOL (taking a seat):  Well, hello there.

PRISS:  Um, hi.

MCNICKOL:  You seem rather lonely.  Are you off duty now?

PRISS:  No, I've been RELIEVED of duty.

MCNICKOL:  Relieved of duty?  How?

PRISS:  I don't wanna talk about it.

MCNICKOL:  You know, I somehow got the impression that I've...known you from
somewhere.

PRISS (looks at McNickol):  Um, you...kinda look like someone I know...

MCNICKOL:  Um, what's your name?

PRISS:  Priss.  And yours?

MCNICKOL:  Commodore Jeff McNickol, Federation historian and second-in-command
of Starbase 214.

PRISS:  McNickol...

MCNICKOL:  You've heard my name before, I take it?

PRISS:  I knew someone with your last name a...LONG time ago.  But I sincerely
doubt he's related to you.   

MCNICKOL:  What was this...McNickol like?

PRISS:  A real...TOUGH guy.  Always dedicated to what he enjoys to do.  

MCNICKOL:  Which is...

PRISS:  A...police officer on Earth.  I used to be a singer, and he was a
big fan of my singing.  We became, um, good friends.

MCNICKOL (in his mind):  Could he be referring to...Leon?  Nah, I doubt it.
This woman has to be 310 years old or something if she was alive in the
21st century...(to Priss)  So have you seen this...McNickol lately?

PRISS:  Nope.  I haven't seen him for...quite some time now.  I guess we've
...lost contact now.

MCNICKOL:  Oh, I see.

PRISS:  But somehow...you remind me of that person.

MCNICKOL:  Really?

PRISS:  You seem to...have that same eye color as he did.  What
a...coincidence.  But he had jet black hair...

MCNICKOL:  Hmmm...well, I, uh, guess he isn't related to me then.  (In his
mind)  But somehow.......

(Meanwhile, Riker is with another woman at his table.  He then notices Priss
at the bar.  Riker smiles at Priss and eyeballs her attentively.  Priss
turns away.)

WOMAN WITH RIKER:  Will?

RIKER:  Oh, um, sorry.

WOMAN WITH RIKER:  Oh, so the rumors I've heard are true, huh?

RIKER:  What?  I don't understand.

WOMAN WITH RIKER:  Don't give me that.  You are the James Kirk of the 24th
century and you don't want to admit it.  Good day, Commander.

RIKER:  No, wait!  Come back!

(The woman stands up and leaves the lounge)

(Back to Priss and Jeff)

PRISS:  Oh, jeez.  I kinda figure that the "bearded one" would starting
drooling over me.

MCNICKOL:  You don't like Commander Riker?

PRISS:  Well actually, he kinda DOES look cute...but somehow...he doesn't
seem to be right for me. (pause)  Um, do you want to know something?

MCNICKOL:  What?

PRISS:  You seem...to be more my type.

MCNICKOL:  Eh?  You're in love with me already?  But we've just met!

PRISS:  No no!  It's not like...THAT, or at least not now.  But maybe we can...
um...get to know each other or something?

MCNICKOL:  Hmm...it's been a while since I've last dated, but I'd like to try
it.  When do you want to do it?

PRISS:  How about tonight, in the...holoduck?

MCNICKOL:  Um, that's HOLODECK.

PRISS:  Well, I ALMOST got it right.

MCNICKOL:  Okay, sure.  2000 hours okay?  I might have to do some business 
with Captain Picard this afternoon so I won't be free until this evening.

PRISS:  Fine.  I'll suprise you.

MCNICKOL:  Oh boy.  I like this already...

(SCENE:  Nene's quarters.  Counselor Troi is having a mandated counselling
session with Nene)

TROI:  I don't know...it seems that we're really not getting anywhere here. 

NENE:  To be honest, I really don't know what to tell you.

TROI:  You've been a really eager crewmember ever since I've...known you,
and yet you've been...screwing up all the time.

NENE:  Perhaps I use my talent at the wrong times?

TROI:  That MAY be the case.  Maybe a Galaxy class starship isn't right for
you?  The option of transferring to another class is still open if you wish...

NENE:  I really...don't know.  Of course, Starfleet wasn't meant for everyone.
I guess it takes a...certain kind of person.

TROI:  But you certainly have the potential to make it in Starfleet.  I
sense that your main problem is that you can't seem to...do things or the
RIGHT things at the right times.  (pause)  Nene, could there be...something
that you're not telling me?

NENE:  Um, what gave you that idea?

TROI:  Yesterday, on the bridge, I sensed that...that blue colored ship had
some kind of...MEANING to you.  Maybe this is a bit extreme, since it's 
unlikely that you know anyone on that ship...

NENE:  Uh, well, I guess it is...unlikely.  Heck, who could I know on that
ship?  (grins)  

TROI:  At least it's been...easier to deal with you.  Your friend, Priss, 
certainly has an...attitude problem.

NENE:  Sounds like her, all right.

TROI:  How long have you two known each other?

NENE:  Long time.  Kinda amazing we became friends in the first place.

TROI:  Has she changed at all while you've known her?

NENE:  Hardly.  She bitches and complains all the time.  Um, why do you ask?
     
TROI:  My counseling sessions with her has progressed a...LOT slower with
her than with you.  

NENE:  I think Starfleet is a brand new experience to her.  She's not used to
people ordering her around. 

TROI:  I sensed that from her.  But as a counselor, I can alleviate whatever
problems you might have with senior officers.  Normally, I cannot disclose
what happens during my appointments, but since you know Priss better than I
do, I can make an exception.
      This afternoon, I decided to see her personally in her quarters for her
mandated session, and she was certainly...unwilling to talk.  She used a
number of...four-letter expletives at me and walked out.

NENE:  She's really hard to deal with, Counselor.  She's led a tough life.

TROI:  Apparently.  Her previous sessions have been the same way.  Some of the
other crewmembers have told me that she's been...living in Ten-Forward now.
Somehow I'm ALMOST convinced that Starfleet is simply not right for her. 
Unless she ceases to have this...attitude problem with the senior officers,
I don't think any Federation starship would be appropriate for her.

NENE:  So when are you going to talk to Picard about us?

TROI:  I intend to give a final analysis to the Captain within the next few
days.  But first, I'd like to have some more sessions with you, if that's
okay with you.

NENE:  Well...okay.  But Priss is going to give you the same old bitching and
complaining...

TROI:  I'm aware of that.  She will be a tough case.  I'll check my appointment
calendar and see if I have any open hours and I'll get back with you.

NENE:  Fine with me.

TROI:  Good day, Ensign.

(Troi gets up and leaves)

NENE (in her mind):  I hope she didn't figure out that I'M one of the Knight
Sabers....

(SCENE:  Holodeck three, 2000 hours.  Priss is at the entrance, punching in
some commands into the computer.  Wesley Crusher is walking on crutches.  He
notices the transparent white dress Priss is wearing)

WESLEY:  Who are you going to hurt now?

PRISS:  What?  (turns around and sees Wes)  Oh, it's you.

WESLEY:  Let me guess.  You're going to entice Commander Riker and strap him
to chains.
    
PRISS:  No, not quite.

WESLEY:  Then what?

PRISS:  None of your business, punk!

WESLEY:  Maybe not to me, but I'm sure Lieutenant Worf might be interested
after what you did to me the other day.

PRISS:  All right, if you really want to know, I'm having a date in the
holodeck--see, I SAID it right this time--with a Commodore McNickol.

WESLEY:  And you're going to wrestle him afterwards, right?

PRISS:  Hey, get out of my face before I decide to break your OTHER leg. 
 
WESLEY (whisper):  What an assh*le...

(Wesley heads down the corridor) 

(Moments later, Commodore McNickol appears in dress uniform) 

MCNICKOL:  Hello.  My, what a nice dress you're wearing.

PRISS:  Thanks.  

MCNICKOL:  Is this dress the suprise?  It sure, um, REVEALS a lot of...

PRISS:  Yeah yeah.  Don't mention it.  No, this ISN'T the suprise.  It's
coming later.

MCNICKOL:  Oh, okay.  Gee, I can't wait.  So what setting did you choose? 

PRISS:  I had my friend jot down a program on this piece of paper and I'm
programming the computer now...okay, I think I'm done...

COMPUTER VOICE:  PROGRAM FIGURATIONS COMPLETE.  YOU MAY ENTER WHEN READY.

(Priss and McNickol step into the holodeck)

(They see a very beautiful jungle with branches and green vegetation 
everywhere.  A waterfall and lake is also there, along with a small table
for two.)

PRISS:  This jungle is called the...Jalara Jungle or something like that...

MCNICKOL:  The Jalara...?  Ah, I've been here before.

PRISS:  You have?

MCNICKOL:  This jungle is located on the Federation planet Betazed.  It's
a very nice jungle.   This sure looks just like it all right.

PRISS:  Oh, I see.  Is there anyone from...Betazud that you know?

MCNICKOL:  That's BetaZED, Miss Priss.  Well, no, not until now.

PRISS:  Not until now?

MCNICKOL:  Not until I met Counselor Troi from the other day.

(They sit in the small table)

PRISS:  Troi?  Oh, that bitch...

MCNICKOL:  A bitch?  Surely you wouldn't call her that!

PRISS:  She's just one of the many looney people on this ship.  

MCNICKOL:  Miss Priss, you have to realize that everyone in outer space
isn't always human.  I mean, Betazoids are humanNOID, but they are capable of
do things that humans can't.

PRISS:  Like what?

MCNICKOL:  They can sense thought perceptions.

PRISS:  Oh, that explains why she's always "feeling" things out of me.  
She's like, "Duh, I sense a great deal of emotional stress from you."  What
a psycho.

MCNICKOL:  Are you having problems with other officers on this ship?  Is 
that's why you've been relieved of duty?

PRISS:  Okay okay, I admit it.  Maybe I'm not used to being bossed around.
I've never been part of a military organization until now.

MCNICKOL:  Actually, Starfleet is NOT a military organization.  The primary
purpose is space exploration.  What got you into joining in the first place?

PRISS:  Earth was super-boring.  But now I kinda wish I was back on Earth.

MCNICKOL:  You know, being bossed around is not easy to live with.  But
through time, you'd get used to it.  Trust me, being insubordinate isn't going
to help the situation any.

PRISS:  I dunno...maybe I'll quit as soon as we get back to earth.  That
bald-head guy says I'll probably be...terminated as an officer anyway.

MCNICKOL:  Bald head...oh you mean Picard.  You mean there may be no chance
for you?

PRISS:  Maybe, maybe not. (sighs)  Um, shall we get our food now?

MCNICKOL:  Oh, sure.  But...where is it going to come from?  The lake?

PRISS:  I programmed some Starfleet admiral to be our waiter, and he's going
to bring out our menus.  Computer, um, bring out the waiter.

(A holographic Admiral Bennett Kyson comes out of some bushes wearing a tux.
 He has two menus in hand)

MCNICKOL (looking strange):  HE'S our waiter?

PRISS:  Uh, yeah.

ADMIRAL KYSON:  Welcome to the Jalara Jungle. (hands the menus to Jeff and
Priss)  What would the mademoiselle like to order?

PRISS (looks over menu):  Hmmm...I'll take the baisted salmon.

ADMIRAL KYSON:  Ah, an excellent choice.  Too bad the monsieur here cannot
make such good choices.

MCNICKOL (somewhat angry):  WHAT?  I beg your pardon?

PRISS:  Hey, c'mon!  What's wrong?   

MCNICKOL (calming himself):  All right, I'll take the grilled steak suprise.

ADMIRAL KYSON (sarcastic):  Ah, just what I expected.  A LAME choice. 
For what I understand, the suprise in the steak is our "secret toxin" steak
sauce and personally I think you deserve it.

MCNICKOL (really angry):  Why you...!!!

PRISS (holds back the commodore):  Jeff!

ADMIRAL KYSON:  Thank you for your order.  I will have your dishes ready in
a few minutes.

MCNICKOL:  Oh god, Priss, you've just made my worst nightmares come true.

PRISS:  How?  What does he have to do with...

MCNICKOL:  I served under that creep on the USS Hong Kong.  He was certainly
the biggest-ass Captain of all of Starfleet during that time.  You sure did
a pretty good job programming him right.

PRISS:  Huh!  So obviously you've had problems with senior officers too!

MCNICKOL:  Yeah, but I think my situation is...kinda different that yours.

PRISS:  How?

(Just then, Admiral Kyson comes back out with two dishes)

ADMIRAL KYSON:  Here is the baisted salmon for the Mademoiselle...

PRISS (receiving plate):  Thank you.

ADMIRAL KYSON: ...and your dish, Monsieur.

(McNickol notices a bunch of snails)

MCNICKOL:  Hey, I didn't order this!  What the heck is it?

ADMIRAL KYSON:  Um, my apologies, monsieur, but I'm afraid that we are out
of the "Grilled Steak Suprise".  I figured that "Escargot Supreme" would 
certainly be more fitting for you. 

MCNICKOL:  "Escargot Supreme?"  What is this, a joke?

ADMIRAL KYSON:  But of course!  You were one of the most LAMEST Starfleet
officers I've had to put up with.  This dish exemplifies how...SLOW and
PROCRASTINATING you REALLY are.  

MCNICKOL:  Yeah, well you're one of the STUPIDEST captains I've served under!

ADMIRAL KYSON:  You always showed up late for your shift, and I was really
sick of it!

MCNICKOL:   Well, it was YOU'RE idea to take a "short cut" through the dense
asteroid field on Galara IV and I said, "No, don't do it!".  But did you
listen to me?  Of course not!  You always took my opinions for dogma! 

ADMIRAL KYSON:  BAKA!  That isn't true!

MCNICKOL:  Bullsh*t!  You even recorded it on your log, you dog brain. 

ADMIRAL KYSON:  You are slow and indecisive, you dork!

MCNICKOL:  You are stupid and fat, you donkey ass!

ADMIRAL KYSON:  How dare you call me that!

(Admiral Kyson hits McNickol with his serving tray and starts to walk off.
McNickol tries to grab him but Priss holds him off)

PRISS:  Jeff!  Please!  Don't ruin this evening.  I think I can live without
violence for once, especially since...I'm with someone now...

MCNICKOL:  Oh, I'm sorry.  Hmmm...Computer, freeze program!

(The holodeck program freezes.  Admiral Kyson freezes in place.)

PRISS:  What are you doing now?

MCNICKOL:  Wanna see something funny?  Computer, resume program and have
Admiral Kyson jump into the lake.

(The program resumes, and Kyson turns around and
dives head first into the lake.  Kyson can barely keep his head over the
water.  Over at the table, McNickol is cracking up)

ADMIRAL KYSON:  HELP! HELP! HELP!  I can't swim!  Help me, you poor excuse of
a Starfleet offi...

MCNICKOL:  Now computer, have Kyson drown.

(Kyson's head goes under the water level and that is the last thing we see of
him.  McNickol laughs.  Priss chuckles as well.)

PRISS:  Okay, so what makes...your grudge with him any different from mine?  

MCNICKOL:  Oh, well the difference is that I normally wouldn't reveal personal
feelings right at the person I'm having problems with. 

PRISS:  But you just did there.

MCNICKOL:  That's different.  He was just a holodeck projection.  The real
Admiral Kyson is on Earth, from what I understand.  Priss, the point I'm 
trying to make here is that if you have ill feelings about someone, just keep
it to yourself.  Or if you need to talk about it, talk to someone else.  
I'm not suggesting to talk behind people's backs all the time, of course, but
do you understand what I'm getting at?

PRISS:  But it seems that...everyone is giving me a hard time.

MCNICKOL:  It happens.  It happens to everyone, no matter what starship you
serve on.  We've all had those days.  Here a basic rule of thumb you might
want to remember: if you're polite to others, they'll be polite to you.
Or perhaps being polite is...hard for you?

PRISS:  I've been polite to people before!  Back in Mega-Tokyo, I was polite
to...some people.

MCNICKOL (in his mind):  Mega-Tokyo.  Funny, that's where Leon lived too.
What a coincidence...(to Priss)  No, Priss, you should try to be nice to 
everyone you meet, even if that person seems to be a..."bitch".  Of course,
you can't be nice ALL the time, but it's good to try.

PRISS:  I dunno...maybe I've been...too nasty sometimes.  Maybe if I knew
my parents better...

MCNICKOL:  Are they back on Earth?

PRISS:  Um...they're dead.

MCNICKOL:  What happened?

PRISS:  Got killed in an earthquake.

MCNICKOL:  Sorry to hear that.  Perhaps that explains your...demeanor?

PRISS:  Maybe.  I grew up in an orphanage afterwards.  If I was reared like
everyone else, well, I don't know...maybe I'd be the sweetest person 
around.

MCNICKOL:  You know, I think you have the potential of being the sweetest
so-and-so around.

PRISS:  Oh, jeez.  Give me a break!

MCNICKOL:  Really, Priss!  You have the good looks and everything and you'd
be perfect if you had the right attitude to match.

PRISS (sighs):  Well....do you really think so?  I mean, I've never really
given it much thought before...

MCNICKOL:  Of course.  And I think you can make it in Starfleet too.  You
just need to be more polite, that's all.

PRISS:  Gosh, I just don't know...

(Soon they are eating.  Priss finishes her salmon while Jeff has trouble
shelling the snails)

PRISS:  That was good.  Tastes generic, but...

MCNICKOL:  Hmm...this snail gunk isn't that bad.    

PRISS:  You know...(looks at Jeff eye to eye) you sure remind me of...the
McNickol I knew.

MCNICKOL:  Um...how?

PRISS:  You seem to be just like him in...many ways.

MCNICKOL:  Like....

PRISS:  The way you talk.  You're ARE very...NICE.  Dedicated to duty...
persistent in everything...I mean, it's like I'm talking to another him.

MCNICKOL:  Um...did you...LOVE him?

PRISS:  Gosh, I don't know.  I mean...it felt good hanging around him.  But
I don't think we've been in...love or anything.

MCNICKOL:  Where is this McNickol now?  Have you two kept in touch?

PRISS:  No, it's been two years now.  To be...honest with you, he's in...
another place now. 

MCNICKOL:  Do you miss him?

PRISS:  Kind of.  But now as a Starfleet officer, I can...meet people who
can relate to my feelings, although so far it hasn't really turned out
that way.

(Priss looks at Jeff.  Jeff looks back.  They slowly smile at each other)

MCNICKOL:  Well, this sure was an...interesting evening to say the least.
I guess I should head back to my quarters now...

PRISS:  No, wait.  I haven't given you my...suprise yet. 

MCNICKOL:  Oh, yeah.  Okay, I can stick around longer.

PRISS:  Remember when I told you I was a singer?

MCNICKOL:  Oh, you're going to sing a song?

(Priss nods)
 
MCNICKOL:  Well, what are you going to sing?

PRISS:  Have you ever heard of...pop music?

MCNICKOL:  Pop...oh you mean popular music, like rhythm and blues and stuff
like that...

PRISS:  Kind of.  When I sang back in Mega-Tokyo, there was this one song
that...somehow meant something to me, but I didn't know why...

MCNICKOL:  Were you really a good singer?

PRISS:  I suppose.  I got a handful of fans.  The one McNickol I knew...was
one of those fans.

MCNICKOL:  And that's how you met? 

PRISS (nods):  But since you're a lot like him...I guess I can sing this for
you too.  Now part of this is in Japanese...

MCNICKOL:  Should I get my universal translator?

PRISS:  No no.  I think anyone can understand this song.  It's called 
"Hurricane Live 2033".

MCNICKOL:  Oh, it's a weather song.  Wow...

PRISS:  No no no!  It's a love song.

MCNICKOL:  Love song?  Okay, I'm listing.

PRISS:  Computer, give me a cordless microphone, please.

MCNICKOL:  Hey, now that's what I call being polite.

(Priss smiles.  The mike materializes in Priss's hand.  She then stands up
and lets her dress flow)

PRISS:  Computer, run "Hurricane Live 2033" program.

(Soon, the setting changes to outer space.  It appears that Priss, the
table, and McNickol are floating in thin air)

PRISS:        	Searching for the whereabouts of my interrupted dream
		That kept on running down the stormy highway
		Bitter spirits letting fly
		At my back with all the lies

		(Big City, Heart To Heart)
	        Everyone's a lonely child lost in love
		(Big City, Day By Day)
		Tears only shake sleepless hearts

		Tonight (Hurricane)
		I want (Hurricane)
		To tell you I love you
		Tonight (Hurricane)
		Feel it (Hurricane)
		Right on your bare face (Touch!)
		(Give me touch!)

		Arashi no Highway hashiritsuzuketa
		Togireta yume no yukue sagashite
		Nigai maboroshi subete no uso o
		Senaka de hajikitobashite  
		Big City Kodoku na Heart To Heart
		Minna ai no mayoigo 
		Big City Namida wa Day By Day 
		Nemuranai omoi o yusaburu dake
		Konya wa Hurricane
		Konya wa Hurricane 
		Anata ni Hurricane 
		Tsutaetai no Loving You...  
		Konya wa Hurricane 
		Kanjite Hurricane 
		Sugao no mama
		Touch!
		Give me touch!  
		Give me touch!  

		Darts of words only coincide
		I cannot share your heart's pain
		Kotoba no Daatsu nageau dake ja
		Mune no itami wa wakariaenai

(As Priss sings, the background shifts from shots of 21st century Mega-Tokyo
outer space, Earth, and the Enterprise.  McNickol appears very moved by
Priss's singing.)  

		I want you to tell me what it is
		That is causing your eyes to cloud over
		Big City Heart To Heart
		Tiring of dancing in the tattered, broken night
		Oshiete hoshii nani ga anata no
		Hitomi o kumoraseru no sa 
		Big City Chigireta Heart to Heart  
		Yoru ni odoritsukarete  

		Big City Day By Day
		I waited anxiously for a little playful warmth
		Tonight Hurricane
		I want Hurricane
		To tell you I love you
		Tonight Hurricane
		I want Hurricane
		To hold you once more Touch! Burning Touch!
		Big City Utsuro na Day By Day
		Sasayakana nukumori machikogareta  
		Konya wa Hurricane
		Anata ni Hurricane
		Tsutaetai no Loving You...  
		Konya wa Hurricane
		Moo ichido Hurricane
		Dakishimetai Touch! Burning Touch! 

		Big City Heart To Heart
		Everyone's a lonely child lost in love
		Big City Day By Day
		Tears only shake sleepless hearts
		Tonight Hurricane
		I want Hurricane
		To tell you I love you
		Tonight Hurricane
		Feel it Hurricane
		Right on your bare face Touch!
		Tonight Hurricane
		I want Hurricane
		To tell you I love you
		Tonight Hurricane
		I want Hurricane
		To hold you once more Touch! Burning Touch!
		Give me Touch! Burning Touch!
		Big City Kodoku na Heart To Heart  
		Minna ai no mayoigo
		Big City Namida wa Day By Day
		Nemuranai omoi o yusaburu dake
		Konya wa Hurricane
		Anata ni Hurricane
		Tsutaetai no Loving You...  
		Konya wa Hurricane
		Kanjite Hurricane 
		Sugao no mama Touch!
		Konya wa Hurricane
		Anata ni Hurricane
		Tsutaetai no Loving You...  
		Konya wa Hurricane
		Moo ichido Hurricane
		Dakishimetai Touch! Burning Touch! 
		Give me Touch! Burning Touch!

(McNickol appears impressed.  Soon the "Hurricane Live" sequence ends and
they are back in the Jalara Jungle)

PRISS (wipes her brow):  Well, what do you think?

MCNICKOL:  Beautiful.  And I hardly know any Japanese to boot.

PRISS:  You like it?

MCNICKOL (nods):  I LOVE it.  I got the feeling that you were trying to tell
me something....

(Suddenly Priss's comes eye to eye with Jeff)

MCNICKOL:  Um...were you?

PRISS (dreary eyed):  I don't think I'll ever meet another like you...

MCNICKOL (gets the idea):  Oh, Priss...

(They kiss passionately)

MCNICKOL (breaking the kiss):  But what about the...other McNickol?

PRISS:  Screw him.  I have you now...

(They kiss again)

PRISS:  Wanna go for a swim?

(Priss gestures to the Jalara Jungle lake setting)

MCNICKOL:  Swim?  But my trunks are back on Starbase 214! 

PRISS (slyly):  Trust me.  You won't be needing 'em.

(SCENE:  Picard's quarters, 2340 hours.  Picard is getting ready for bed when
his door chime goes off)

PICARD:  Come!

(Worf comes in still in uniform)

WORF:  Captain, I am...sorry to disturb you, but I have received a subspace
message that appears to be of great significance.  I have loaded it in your
terminal.

(Picard sits in his desk and turns on the terminal.  The familiar UFP logo
first appears and then this text:

		GREETINGS FROM THE WILD SIDE, STARSHIP ENTERPRISE.
		PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DESTINY AT HEADING 314 MARK 115
		AT 0730 HOURS.  BE THERE OR BE DEAD.

				LARGO
				PRESIDENT OF THE GENOM CORPORATION

PICARD:  Mr. Worf, when was this received?

WORF:  Five minutes ago, sir.  It is apparent that this could be a trap.

PICARD:  Agreed.  Alert all staff members that we will have an emergency
conference at 0630 hours, tomorrow morning.  I also want Commodore McNickol
to attend the meeting as well.  Take ALL security precautions deemed 
necessary.

WORF:  Aye, sir.

(Worf leaves.  Picard stares at the message, wondering what to expect.)

(SCENE:  Outer space, Knight Saber ship.  Sylia is reading something off
one of the control panel viewscreens while Linna is sleeping)

SYLIA:  Linna!

LINNA (waking up):  Huh?  Wha?  Are we back in Kansas yet?

SYLIA:  Take a look at this.

(Linna stretches and groggily comes over to the panel.  She reads the message
Largo sent to the Enterprise)

LINNA:  Largo's going to make his first move, all right.  So when do we try
to stop him?

SYLIA:  From our current position, I think it will take us at least fifteen
minutes at warp five.  Let's not get there until around 7:35 in the morning.

LINNA:  Okay.

(SCENE:  Borg ship.  Largo is making final adjustments to his BoomerBorgs.)

LARGO:  Almost ready!  In just a matter of hours, the Starfleet flagship
will be destroyed and the entire universe will be at their heels...to me!

BORG:  ONLY THE BORG SHALL RULE THE UNIVERSE.

LARGO:  Oh sorry.  Forgot to include you guys.  Okay, ME and YOU will rule
the universe.

BORG:  ONLY THE BORG SHALL RULE THE UNIVERSE.

LARGO:  Hey, wait a minute!  I thought we still had a deal here!  I mean, you
guys are certainly not fun to hang around with, but...    
  
BORG:  WE HAVE YET TO COMPLETE OUR REEVALUATION OF YOU, LARGO.  WHEN ANALYSIS
IS COMPLETE, WE WILL MAKE A FINAL DECISION.

LARGO:  Oh, please!  Can't you guys try to understand or something?  I created
what could be the most powerful boomers I've ever had in my possession and
you guys continue to complain...

BORG:  THE BORG WAS NOT CREATED BY YOU, LARGO.

LARGO:  Well, the boomer hardsuits you're wearing are!

BORG:  CORRECT.  HOWEVER, CENTRAL PROCESSING IS STILL CONTROLLED BY THE BORG.

LARGO:  Right.  I'm gonna trust you guys in controlling the "BoomerBorgs"
when we attack the Enterprise.  Do we have a deal?

BORG (brief pause):  DEALS ARE NORMALLY IRRELEVANT, BUT...

LARGO:  Good.  Trust me, you guys will like me again when we take control
of Starfleet and the Federation.  (lets out evil laugh)

BORG:  LIKING-NESS IS IRRELEVANT.

LARGO:  Umm, hey that sounds gramatically incorrect...

BORG:  GRAMMATICAL ERRORS ARE IRRELEVANT.

LARGO:  Forget it.  I'm not gonna even argue with you guys.

BORG:  FORGETTING IS IRRELEVANT.

(Largo just shuts himself up.)
  
(SCENE:  Enterprise Ten-Forward lounge, 0615 hours, stardate 45895.2.  The
bar is empty, except for Picard, Guinan, and Priss.  Priss and Picard are
sitting on opposite ends of the bar.  Guinan comes over to Picard)

GUINAN:  Why are you up so early?  Normally staff meetings are at 0700 hours,
right?   

PICARD:  There is a matter of importance that needs to be discussed, and it
can't be at our normal staff meeting time.  I just wanted a quick little
something to eat before...

GUINAN:  It's this Largo character, right?

PICARD (sighs):  It's getting harder to hide anything from you now.

GUINAN:  Actually, I've...heard it through the grapevine, as the old cliche
goes.  Would a French croissant be...okay for you?  (pause)  But then again,
you'd eat anything from France.  (smiles)

PICARD (smiles back):  Of course.

(Guinan hands Picard the croissant.)

GUINAN:  One question...did the Borg return after that initial contact from 
the other day?

PICARD (not wanting to ask how she knew that):  No.  Why?

GUINAN:  Perhaps it's possible there's a...joint power being formed here.

PICARD:  A joint power?  Collaboration?  A...conspiracy?

GUINAN:  Largo is a machine.  And so is the Borg.

(Picard gets the hint)

PICARD:  Then if that's the case...

GUINAN:  You would have a LOT to deal with.

(Guinan walks away.  Picard ponders the thought.)

(Guinan now approaches Priss)

GUINAN:  And why are you up so early?

PRISS (groans):  I can't sleep.  Is that a problem for you?

GUINAN:  Well, no...

PRISS:  If you REALLY want to know, I had a...MAJOR date last night and I think
I have a MAJOR hangover and a MAJOR headache.

GUINAN:  Well, if memory serves correct, there is an old Earth remedy called
"aspirin" that can help that.  I believe that the replicators can give you
a bottle of...

PRISS:  Well, I'm too lazy to get a bottle, so why don't you get one for me?

GUINAN (not wanting to argue):  Very well.

(Guinan goes to the bar's replicator and produces a bottle of aspirin and hands
it to Priss, along with a glass of water)

(We now see Commander Riker and Commodore McNickol enter Ten-Forward)

MCNICKOL:  Do you always come here in the morning?

RIKER:  Actually, I usually don't come here in the morning.  But then again,
I normally don't have staff meetings at 0630.

MCNICKOL:  Those thirty minutes make a big difference?

(they sit)

RIKER:  Well, no, but why take chances?  Wouldn't hurt to have something to
drink before having an...earlier-than-usual staff meeting.

MCNICKOL:  Yeah, I'd like something too, especially after last night...

(A waitress comes over.)

WAITRESS:  What would you like gentlemen?

MCNICKOL:  Cup of coffee.

RIKER:  Prune juice.

(McNickol looks at Riker funny)

MCNICKOL:  Prune juice?

RIKER:  Mr. Worf has a...STRONG liking for prune juice.  I just want to give
it a try.

(The waitress comes back and hands Riker and McNickol their beverages.  
Riker drinks his prune juice in one gulp while Jeff sips his coffee.)

RIKER:  I guess only a real Klingon would know why this is a warriors drink.

(McNickol smiles)

(Riker then notices Priss at the bar and smiles.  Priss notices back.
McNickol changes the expression on his face.)

MCNICKOL:  Um, COMMANDER.

RIKER (turns around):  Something wrong?

MCNICKOL:  I should've guessed.  You've been spying her all this time, have you?
  
RIKER:  No, not spying, but...

MCNICKOL:  Cut it out.  She is my flame.

RIKER:  What?  You're in love with a crewmember?  Wow, love at first sight...
(Riker laughs)

MCNICKOL (angry):  IT'S NOT FUNNY, COMMANDER.  Leave her alone.

RIKER:  Well, sorry.  Okay, she's yours.  I'm not gonna argue with a senior
officer.  But you sure seem to be just like me.

MCNICKOL:  And in what regard?

RIKER:  For me, when women..."fall in love" with me, they suddenly become
your enemy.

MCNICKOL:  Hey, I'm not that type of person!

RIKER:  Humph.  How do *I* know that?  Then explain why you've been single all
your life.

(Picard notices Riker and McNickol at the table)

MCNICKOL:  Commander, my personal life is none of your business unless I want
to discuss it!  You better realize that I outrank you, and if you keep this
up...

RIKER:  You don't even serve on this ship!  You hardly know a thing about me!

MCNICKOL:  Oh, yeah?  Well, I heard that you have masturbation fantasies about
Counselor Troi...

RIKER (red-faced):  WHAT!  Who told you...

(Riker is about to grab Commodore McNickol's uniform when Picard comes over)

PICARD:  Um...gentlemen, my sincere apologies about whatever...DISCUSSION you
were having, but the board meeting is coming up in five minutes, so if you'd
like to come with me...

(As they leave Ten-Forward, Riker and McNickol glare at each other)

(Main Conference Room.  Picard, Riker, Data, Worf, Troi, Dr. Crusher, LaForge,
amd Commodore McNickol are seated around the table)

PICARD:  All right, first things first.  Mr. LaForge, status of engineering?

LAFORGE:  All systems back on-line, Captain.  Turns out that the sudden
Borg attack also did a number on the navigational deflectors, so we had more
work than expected. 

PICARD:  Strength of shields?

LAFORGE:  All shield systems have been strenghened, particularly around the
warp nacelles.  I THINK Largo will have a tougher time shredding us to
bits like he did with the Mega-Tokyo, but there's certainly no guarantee.

PICARD:  Definitely.  Especially from what I heard from...Guinan at Ten-
Forward.

RIKER:  Guinan?  What does she know?

PICARD:  She suggested that it's possible that the Borg and Largo might be...
one.

TROI:  But aren't the Borg somewhat...DIFFERENT that these boomers?

WORF:  They are both machines...

MCNICKOL:  Correct.  I think on that basis either the Borg...assimilated 
Largo and boomer technology...or perhaps even working side-by-side, since
Largo isn't really...organic anymore. 

DATA:  Commodore McNickol's theory is plausible, Captain.  The past behavior
of the Borg indicates that any ORGANIC race is...irrelevant to them, but an
inorganic race might be...pleasing to them in some way.

DR. CRUSHER:  And those coordinates that Largo wants us to go to weren't too
far from where we encountered the Borg ship...

PICARD:  Which raises the next question...should we go to those coordinates
that Largo requested?

TROI:  We have no choice, Captain.  Cosidering how...ruthless this Largo may
be, he'll just search the entire universe for the Enterprise.  And if we...
"play chicken", it would possibly endanger any other Federation starships
or even entire galaxies.

MCNICKOL:  So apparently, no matter how we look at it, Largo will try to
find a way to win power, whether it's through this Federation ship or any
other.  I guess it's all on your shoulders now, Captain.

PICARD:  I really don't know what to expect at this point, especially when
you have to cosider the possibility of a Borg/Largo collaboration...

LAFORGE:  I've done everything I can, Captain.  I guess we'll just have to
wait and see...

RIKER:  Wait...what about the Knight Saber ship?  We still don't know what 
side they're on or whether or not they're going to come back.

MCNICKOL:  Hey, what do you mean, "what side they're on"?  I told you!  They're
on our side!  Huh!  I thought you paid attention during these meetings...  
    
RIKER (terse):  Of course I do!  What are you getting at?

MCNICKOL:  Well, maybe you should stop...GAZING at Counselor Troi...

(Troi appears shocked)

RIKER:  Why you....!

(Riker is about to hit McNickol when Picard gets between them)

PICARD:  Let's save these...personal differences for later, shall we?  
Commodore, Commander Riker is right.  We still have no definite information
whether or not these...Knight Sabers can be trusted for sure, and it's highly
unlikely that these Sabers are the ones from the 21st century.

MCNICKOL:  You're right, you're right.  But somehow, if you say that you've
seen their ship before, then how could they NOT be the Knight Sabers?

WORF:  Possibly...a new breed.

TROI:  I sensed a...driving need out of that ship somehow...

PICARD:  A driving need?

TROI:  Vengeance.  Vengeance for...something.  Since Commodore McNickol
mentioned that the Knight Sabers were out to get Largo, perhaps their
motivation is...vengeance.  Possibly vengeance over Largo.

LAFORGE:  And if that's the case, that might explain why that Knight Saber
ship attacked...the Borg. 

MCNICKOL:  So perhaps Largo IS part of the Borg. 

PICARD:  Then if these Knight Sabers are these punishers you described 
yesterday, why must they be secretive?  I'm still not convinced that they're
"amongst the good guys", so to speak.  And there is still no explanation for
the unprovoked attack on the ship. 

MCNICKOL:  Mistaken identity, perhaps?

LAFORGE:  We need to get going now.  The chorometer reads 0645, and it
will take a good 40 minutes to get to those designated coordinates at
maximum warp.

PICARD:  Are all mediunits standing by, Doctor?

DR. CRUSHER:  All ready, Jean-Luc.  Ready for the worst, whatever that may
be.

TROI:  It's almost inevitable that we'll have...an encounter with them in
some way, shape, or form.

PICARD:  And I still wonder what kind of confrontation it will be...

(SCENE: 40 minutes later.  Picard, Riker, Worf, Data, and Troi are at their
respective positions, while Commodore McNickol is about to enter the 
turbolift) 

MCNICKOL:  Nice bridge. (to Picard) Captain, if you need me, I'll be in my
quarters.

PICARD:  Um, Commodore, I need you now.

MCNICKOL:  Why?  This is YOUR ship, isn't it? 

PICARD:  Since you probably know these boomers a lot more that anyone else  
in Starfleet, your input may be appreciated.
   
MCNICKOL:  Okay.  I haven't been part of the action for a while anyway, so...

WORF:  Captain, we have reached the designated coordinates.  There is still no
sign of the Borg ship or any machine-like beings.

PICARD:  Take us out of warp, Ensign.

(Ensign Ro presses some helm keys.  The Enterprise's warp engines disengage)
 
RIKER:  I guess all we can do now is wait.

MCNICKOL:  And fantasize about women?  (laughs)

(Riker starts to lose his patience further)

PICARD:  Commodore, that really isn't necessary.  You're now the ranking
officer on this ship and I'd appreciate it if you would behave like one as
well.

MCNICKOL:  Sorry, sorry...  

(Suddenly, Worf's console blips)

WORF:  Captain, a cubicle ship has entered this sector.

RIKER:  The Borg?

WORF:  Positive confirmation.  It is en route to intercept the Enterprise.
There are no signs of hostility at this point.

RIKER:  Our hypothesis might be right...

PICARD:  We shall see.

(Borg ship.  Largo is smiling as the ship approaches the Enterprise's position)

LARGO:  The USS Enterprise.  What a nice ship.  Too bad it's going to be
sheet metal within a few minutes, unless they decide to surrender...

BORG:  FEDERATION STARSHIPS ARE NOT MADE OF SHEET METAL.  THERE ARE LARGE
DEPOSITS OF TITANIUM WITHIN THE HULL...

LARGO (angry):  Oh, WHO ASKED YOU?!!      

BORG:  ONCE AGAIN, INSUBORNDINATE BEHAVIOR IS FUTILE...

LARGO:  Oh, good!  Apparently you're vocabulary is expanding!  You didn't
say "irrelevant" that time...

BORG:  WE ARE WARNING YOU.  DO NOT...

LARGO:  Okay okay!  In a few minutes our...differences aren't going to matter
much anyway.  Open a hailing frequency for me.

(Enterprise bridge)

WORF:  Captain, we are being hailed by the Borg ship.  There is a living...
being that calls himself...Largo.

RIKER:  This is it.

PICARD:  Open hailing frequencies, Mr. Worf.

(The viewscreen is filled with Largo's image.  In the background, Picard
sees the interior of the Borg ship along with Largo's new BoomerBorgs)

PICARD:  This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise.  Are you
the entity known as...Largo?

LARGO (onscreen):  Of course.  I see that all of Starfleet have heard of me
now.  (chuckles)

PICARD:  You are currently wanted for trespassing Federation space and the
wanton destruction of a Federation starship.  Please surrender at this time
or face the consequences.

LARGO:  Why, Picard, what gives you the idea that you can tell me what to do?   I'm sure you realize what you're going up against here.  You've met my...um,
friends, the Borg, have you?

PICARD:  I am well aware of the Borg.  I repeat, you're options are...

LARGO:  Oh, come on!  Why make it difficult for yourself?  It's pretty 
obvious that you are undermatched for us.

PICARD:  We have defeated the Borg before and we are prepared to do so again!

LARGO:  Really?  Well, first of all, why would you want to defeat the Borg in
the first place?

PICARD:  That is such a ludicrous question!  

LARGO:  Are you sure, Picard?  From what I understand, you were named...
Locotus, by this machine-like race.  Now why would you want to destroy YOUR
own kind?  (evil laugh)

TROI:  Captain, he's playing a mind game with you.

PICARD:  The Borg is NOT of my own kind.  I am flesh and blood, much like
all the other humans on this ship!

LARGO:  Well, at one time you weren't.  And as you probably guessed by now,
neither am I.

PICARD:  We already guessed that.  So you ARE a machine.

LARGO:  Of course.  Formerly flesh and blood, but now...a lot stronger...
and perhaps even invincible.  I'm sure all of you on your ship know what 
awesome power I now hold.  Too bad no one in Starfleet knows what boomers
are.  Really Picard, there's no way you can beat me.  It seems that...only 
I know the "ins-and-outs" of this fine creation, these boomers.

MCNICKOL (stepping up):  That's where you're wrong, machine-breath.

LARGO:  What?  Who is this punk that defies me?  Wait...I have a feeling that
I've seen you before...

MCNICKOL:  Commodore Jeff McNickol, Starfleet Historian and Second-In-Command
of Starbase 214.  I have data files that tell ALL about you and the Genom
Comglomerate.  And as you may have guessed...my great-great-great-great 
grandson was someone who probably wanted to kick your ass.

LARGO:  He worked for the AD Police in Mega-Tokyo, I take it?

MCNICKOL:  You got it.  I'm sure Leon was proud of what he did, and I'm sure
he regretted what SHOULD have been.  Namely, the end of your tyrannic 
behavior.

LARGO:  The AD Police was no challenge for me, Commodore.  And if 
the United Federation of Planets do not surrender to me within five
minutes, neither will Starfleet.  (to Picard)  Those are your options, 
Captain Picard....or should I say, Locotus?  Hmm...Locotus sounds better
than Picard...

PICARD:  We are NOT going to surrender.  It is apparent that you intend to
suffocate the entire universe if we do so!

LARGO:  Oh, so you can read minds too?  Are you sure your nervous system
isn't connected to Borg intelligence still?

(Meanwhile, the Knight Saber ship has "sneaked up" from behind the Borg ship
Cut to inside the KS Ship)

LINNA:  Oh god, that Borg ship looks bigger that I originally thought!

SYLIA:  We got our work cut out for us, for sure.  I have a feeling that
Largo has something...in store for the Enterprise.              

LINNA:  Have anyone detected us yet?

SYLIA:  Not yet.  You better suit up now.

LINNA:  Am I going to fight alone?

SYLIA:  I need to figure out a way to Nene and Priss out of the Enterprise
somehow...

(Back to the Largo/Picard conversation)

PICARD:  You got...(tries to think of something) one hell of a nerve.

LARGO:  Why thank you, Captain!  I have the exact same sentiment for you
as well.  From what I understand, previous captains of the Enterprise were
stubborn, obstinate...and you certain fit the bill. (pause)  Well, it is
apparent that I have to get my glory the hard way. 

PICARD:  You are NOT going to get any glory, Largo.

LARGO:  Hah!  Take a look at this.

(The Enterprise's viewscreen is filled with a picture of one of Largo's
BoomerBorgs.  We still hear Largo on audio)

PICARD:  What the hell...

DATA:  It appears to be a combination of a Borg individual and a...boomer-
being.

LARGO:  Ah, it turns out that your crummy android does have intelligence
after all.  Yes, he is correct; this is my brand new 24th century creation,
the BoomerBorg.  He is a combination of one of the thousands of Borg you
see on this ship and a custom-made boomer outfit.  He certainly looks...
admirable, don't you think?

PICARD:  And this one...BoomerBorg is going to crush the Enterprise?

LARGO:  Oh no, Picard.  I have about 270 of these beauties waiting in the
wings to attack your starship.  You already witnessed what my boomers
did to the USS Mega-Tokyo, and I'm sure it's well beyond the imagination of
any living organic in regard to what these babies can do.  So...are you
ready to die or surrender?

(Silence around the bridge as all the Enterprise bridge officers glance at
each other)

PICARD:  We will do what it takes to defeat you, Largo.

LARGO (sighs):  Very well, Picard.  I tried to save your crummy miserable
lives but I guess death doesn't mean anything to you.  Initiate attack
sequence at...

FEMALE'S VOICE:  Yo, Largo.

LARGO:  What?  Who said that?

BORG:  IMMORTAL LARGO, THE BLUE IRRELEVANT SHIP HAS RETURNED.

(Enterprise bridge)

WORF:  Captain, the Knight Saber ship has returned.

(back to Borg ship)

FEMALE'S VOICE:  You know, I think you've never heard my voice before, but I'd
like to conjure up some old memories from 320 years ago...

(Cut to the exterior of the Borg ship and we see Linna in hardsuit positioned
behind the Borg ship.  She locks on a phaser and it finds its target.  Sparks
fly as the Borg ship rocks.)

LARGO:  Ah, the Knight Sabers have returned!  Split formation!  Attack the
woman and the Enterprise!

(Suddenly, Largo's BoomerBorgs emerge from the Borg ship.  Half of the 
formation takes off for the Enterprise while the other half heads of Linna)

(From Linna's viewscreen, Linna notices the multitude of BoomerBorgs)

LINNA:  Oh, f*ck...

SYLIA (from Knight Saber ship):  Use whatever you can!  Don't leave your
guard for a second!

(Linna fires a phaser beam at the herd of BoomerBorgs.  They find their their
target as some of them disintegrates)

LINNA:  Eh?  That seemed too easy...

SYLIA (from the KS ship):  Linna!  Behind you!

(Another flock of BB's come right behind Linna and start to strangle her.
Linna uses all her might and manage to get free.  She fires another beam and
destroys them.)

LINNA:  There must be something defective about these "BoomerBorgs" if they
keep falling apart...

SYLIA:  Keep an eye on your built-in radar!

(Linna takes a look and more BoomerBorgs appear from all directions.  They
all lock on phasers.  Linna winces in pain as she is hit in all directions.
She then fires back and nails some more BB's)

(Linna's viewscreen indicates that she is down to 58 percent)

LINNA:  Help!  Sylia, I can't handle this all by myself!

(More BB's approach Linna)

SYLIA:  Hang on, Linna!  Remeber, KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!  (to her onboard
control panel)  C'mon, what frequency is it....

(Back to the Enterprise bridge.  The bridge crew witness the BoomerBorg's
fight with Linna)

PICARD:  Commordore, aren't there supposed to be...FOUR of these Knight
Sabers?

MCNIKCOL:  That's funny...Lieutenant, how many persons were in the Knight
Saber ship?

WORF:  Two, sir. 

MCNIKCOL:  I guess the other Knight Saber is still in there, but yeah, there's
SUPPOSED to be four of 'em....

WORF:  Captain, the BoomerBorgs have surrounded the ship!  They are being
detected on both bows.

RIKER:  Shields up!  Red Alert!

(Red alert goes off)
(Shot of the Enterprise being surrounded)

PICARD:  What is the size and description of the armada?

DATA:  There is a contingent of 102 of these BoomerBorgs, each being powered
by the metallic polyhydrydes of each boomer suit, and they are all still part ofthe collective mind of the Borg. 

WORF:  They are locking on phasers!

(The BoomerBorgs fire.  The Enterprise rocks)

WORF:  Shield power down to 72 percent!

PICARD:  Fire back, Mr. Worf!  Ensign Ro, set coordinates to 001 mark 3 at
one half impulse!  Engage!

(As the Enterprise attempts to escape the entrapment, the big E fires back and
some BB's get wiped out.  At the same time, the remaining BB's fire again and
manage to hit the Enterprise's warp nacelles )

(Cut to the Enterprise's engineering section, where sparks are flying and 
crewmembers fleeing.  Geordi LaForge finds himself on the floor)

PICARD'S VOICE:  Damage report, Mr. LaForge!

LAFORGE:  I think the shields manage to hold that time, but I dunno if we can
take another blast like that!  There may be some systems going offline here...

(back to the bridge)

PICARD:  Mr. Worf, find ALL sources of power you can find and divert them to
the shields!

WORF:  Aye, sir.

MCNICKOL:  Are we just trying to make us a harder target to shoot at here?

PICARD (nods):  But we cannot play "cat and mouse" forever....

(Back to the Knight Saber ship.  Sylia is still trying to contact Nene and
Priss.)

LINNA'S VOICE:  Sylia!  Hurry!  These guys are a lot tougher than I thought!

SYLIA:  Hang on, Linna....I think I got it!

(Back to deck 5 of the Enterprise.  Priss is walking down the corridor and
notices the dotted red lights flashing.  There are also crewmembers running
back and forth)

PRISS:  Eh?  What's going on...

(Nene quarters.  The door chime goes off)

NENE:  Come in!

PRISS (entering):  Why is the ship on red alert?

NENE:  I think we're being attacked by the Borg!

(Ship rocks)

NENE:  Well, now I'm certain!

PRISS:  You think Sylia and Linna might be here too?

(Suddenly, Nene hears a crackle)

NENE:  What was that?

PRISS:  Sounded kinda...electronic or something....

(The crackle noise sounds again.  Nene then notices her communicator pin
on the bedside desk)

NENE:  It's coming from my combadge!  This could be some type of
static interference...

PRISS:  Or perhaps someone's trying to...talk to us?

(Nene gets the notion.  She picks up the communicator and taps it)

NENE:  Um, hello?  Ensign Romanova here...

SYLIA'S VOICE:  Nene!

NENE & PRISS (same time):  Sylia!  What's going on?

SYLIA'S VOICE:  Largo is teamed up with this...Borg race and he's attacking the
Enterprise with these..."BoomerBorgs"!

PRISS:  BoomerBorgs?

NENE:  Sounds like some kind of combo boomer/borg being...if that's the case,
then...they're practically invincible!

SYLIA'S VOICE:  Is there any way you two can get out of the Enterprise?  I
brought your hardsuits....

(their eyes light up)

NENE:  There's the transporter...

SYLIA'S VOICE:  Do it!  There's no time to waste!  Stingray out!

PRISS:  Let's go!

NENE:  Not so fast!  We can't beam out of here with the shields up and 
there's no way in the world O'Brien is going to let us out of here....

PRISS:  Okay, so what do we do now?

NENE:  Um, can you do an imitation?

PRISS:  Huh? 

(Transporter room three.  Chief O'Brien is checking over his console when
the intercom goes off)

PICARD'S VOICE:  Uhhhh.....Picard to fat O'Brien!

O'BRIEN:  "Fat O'Brien"?  Uh, go ahead, Captain!

PICARD'S VOICE:  I am ordering you to go back to your quarters and, uh, tend
to your pregnant wife!

O'BRIEN:  Sir, I thought protocol says we are to remain at our stations during
red alert!  And Keiko isn't pregnant right now...say, are you all right, 
Captain?  Sounds like you have a cold...

PICARD'S VOICE:  YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS, DUMB-ASS!

O'BRIEN:  Uhhhhhh.....YES SIR!

(O'Brien shrugs and leaves the transporter room.)

(Meanwhile, Nene and Priss run down the corridor to the transporter room.
A still-disabled Wesley Crusher is right in their path)

WESLEY:  Ma'am.  (nods to Nene.  Nene nods back)

(Suddenly, Priss rams into Wesley and knocks him to the floor)
 
PRISS:  Outta my way, punk!

WESLEY (on the floor):  You bitch...I'll get back at you somehow...   

(As C. O'Brien enters the corridor, Nene and Priss sneaks into the transporter 
room behind O'Brien's back)

NENE:  That was the most DUMBEST Picard imitation I've heard!  "Tend to your
pregnant wife?"

PRISS:  Who give a f*ck?  Try to operate this whatever-you-call-it, Nene!

NENE:  Okay, here goes...

(Nene manipulates some keys.  The transporter viewscreen comes on and they
have a view of the Borg and Knight Saber ship)

NENE:  Okay, I think I got the coordinates!  I managed to do a two-second
shield override so that we can beam over!  I hope this works...

(Nene sets a timed transport.  She steps over to the transport pad and they
both beam out)

(Back to the Enterprise bridge)

MCNIKCOL:  Captain, we can't be the victims forever!  We need to be the
aggressors!

PICARD:  Agreed!  Mr. Worf, lock...

WORF:  Captain, shield power has been lost!

RIKER:  What?  How?

WORF:  Now shield power has been returned!  There is also transport activity
at Transporter Room three!

DATA:  The system override also originated from Transporter Room Three,
Captain.

CONTINUED IN PART 3.3

"BubbleGum Trek" Copyright 1992 Byon Productions Inc.  All rights, lefts, ups
and downs reserved.
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