HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Subject: Re: uld be a Christian because (30 words max):
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1992 22:58:28 GMT

In article <168C1B94E.CRAAARB@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu>, CRAAARB@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu writes:
>  
> But seriously though, if Lieutenant Wilkes kept 3 Christian nuts busy for 3.5 h
> ours at a time, I have two reactions. The first being that L.W. is a saint
                                                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
I'm already serving as my own patron saint, because a group of people in my dorm
were playing a full scale game of risk, using the whole building.  They thought
they needed someone to volunteer as a corpse to make the game more realistic. 
They remembered that I was off studying in one of the lounges and would
probably be there for a while, so they voted me dead by committee.  

The reason I'm serving as my own patron saint is that they haven't voted me
alive again, but I kind of like it that way.

> and should be commended for keeping them out of the airports where they would
> be able to do some damage. The second, however, is that L.W., you need to get
                                                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> a life (or at least a girlfriend). Maybe try playing Ultimate Frisbee or
  ^^^^^^
> something.
>  
I probably will, starting tomorrow since I'll be graduating for my birthday. 
I'll have much less in the way of a workload and I won't have quick access to 
people like these *sigh*.  But I'll redirect my energies somehow.

							Sincerely,
							Lieutenant Wilkes
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: CRAAARB@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu
Subject: Re: uld be a Christian because (30 words max):
Organization: Yale University
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 92 13:10:38 EST

 WHY YOU SHOULD BE A CHRISTIAN (IN 30 WORDS OR LESS) - BY CAPITAL CRAIG
Like, I think everyone should be really nice to people unless they challenge
your true beliefs and in that case, we'll start a holy war and exterminate 'em.
 
But seriously though, if Lieutenant Wilkes kept 3 Christian nuts busy for 3.5 h
ours at a time, I have two reactions. The first being that L.W. is a saint
and should be commended for keeping them out of the airports where they would
be able to do some damage. The second, however, is that L.W., you need to get
a life (or at least a girlfriend). Maybe try playing Ultimate Frisbee or
something.
 
Yes, it's Ultimate Frisbee, the game of the 90's. Try it -- Bob did. He liked
it. He told me so. After the game, everyone puts a whole lot of natural frop
into their own pipes. Happy Happy Happy. Joy Joy Joy.
 
Capital Craig - Yale University -- No sig file necessary.
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
From: pharvey@quack.sac.ca.us (Paul Harvey)
Subject: Re: Suggestions needed
Keywords: Fnord , Herring , Global Domination, `frop
Organization: The Duck Pond public unix: +1 408 249 9630, log in as 'guest'.
	<1992Dec11.185438.6507@athena.cs.uga.edu>
Date: 11 Dec 1992 23:24:14 UTC

In article <1992Dec11.185438.6507@athena.cs.uga.edu> 
skip@rosalyn.stat.uga.edu (Skip Gundlach) writes:
>In article <T4RJVB4w165w@quest.UUCP> srhqla!quest!kdq writes:
>>kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>>> [discussion of a cubic foot of gold]
>>> >In <ByxL1u.69v@world.std.com> 
kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes
>>>>>Wouldn't it weigh a lot?  After all, on ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton. 
>>>>Er, no, Kibo--an ounce of gold weighs... an ounce. It's just not very _big_
>>> Perhaps I should not have sworn off the use of smileys in my postings.
>>    Which weighs more: an ounce of gold or an ounce of feathers?  An
>>ounce of gold weighs more.
>But only because of the difference in Troy and avoirdupois...

I was under the distinct impression that the climate was near identical
between Troyes and Avoir-Dupois. Or, perhaps I'm mistaking them for the
Langue d'Oc or Rhone or Rhine valleys? In either case, it is a well
known truth that: In Vino Veritas. Now, where did I put that extra
`frop?
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: Dig this (tibetan enlightenment)
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1992 20:57:10 GMT

In <1gnt28INNr19@moe.ksu.ksu.edu> diverson@phys.ksu.edu (David Iverson) writes:

>Here's something cool to ponder.  In Tibetan buddhism you have these crazy
>haired women (demons) called Dakini's and they carry around these really
>nasty knives.  What they do is this:

>Imagine you are a hermit deep in meditation.  When you are ready for nirvana
>a Dakini comes up behind you and chops your skull open, cuts of the cranium,
>takes the rest of your body and puts it into a blender till it is the
>consistency of tomato (e?) sauce, pours it into your severed cranium.  She
>then hands you the brimming cup and orders you to drink hearty, me matey! 
>If you have the detachment to chug it you pass into nirvana.

>I thought it was cool.

You left out a couple of important steps, Dave:

1.  Garnish with orange slices and parasol

2.  Serve with Beer Nuts.


--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
From: ch571@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Cat Fitzgerald)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Jesus is a Mushroom
Date: 14 Dec 1992 15:56:17 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


heretic heretic HERETIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL know that th'Lord gawd ALLMIGHTY is not gark green!!  the majestic
mushroom of perfection, love, and life is LIGHT BLUE, and his tongue
is large, long, and BLOOD RED!!!  It hangs from his exquisite lips as
HE maniacally bounces up and down, attempting to obliterate that evil,
anti-illuminati scum, Commander Keen!!!

Destroy Keen before he gets YOU!!  Just look what he did to the Vorticons.

We have a job to do folks, and by Zarquon, we are READY, WILLLING, and FUCKIN' ABLE TO DO IT!!

say YES with me children, say yes and be FILLED with the glorious 
EYEMATTER of "BoB", for only then shall ye see thy slackless lives
and surroundings for what they are.


----------------------------------------------------------
-
-      "farewell Sandwich Maker.  Life will be much
-       less weird without you."  
-       --Douglas Adams, MOSTLY HARMELESS
-
-----------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
From: dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas A. Dennis)
Subject: Re: Suggestions needed
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1992 19:19:15 GMT
Keywords: Fnord , Herring , Global Domination

In <Bz6Irr.6GA@ddsw1.mcs.com> dattier@ddsw1.mcs.com (David `Whybo' Tamkin) 
writes:

>kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in <ByxL1u.69v@world.std.com>:

>| After all, on ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton.  

>Wow.

>Possible translations into English:

>1. "After all, on ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton [as written]."

>   That's gibberish.

>2. "After all, an ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton."

>   That's errant nonsense.  An ounce, even a troy ounce, is nearly a ton?

>3. "After all, one ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton."

>   That's errant nonsense.  One ounce, even one troy ounce, is nearly a ton?

Thanks, David.  I feel SO much better.

--
>---<

Tom Dennis                  | "I have seen all the works that are done
dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu  |    under the sun; and, behold, all is 
(217)384-2504               |      vanity and vexation of spirit."
From: 1-9939@wwiv.tfsquad.mn.org (Jay Dyson #1 @9939 [SubGenius Minister])
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Ask not and ye shall not be asked!
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 92 04:36:59 GMT

[Regarding]: pink boy
[Recipient]: Please Reply.

* On <Sat Dec 12 07:47:19 1992>, (Russell Uman) #1008 @506 wrote: 

> i've lost my slack, so i know i have it.
> my only question is, now that i've lost it, how can i use it to
> control others, most importantly my brain and my bowels?

     Well, by controlling your bowels -- or, rather, NOT controlling them --
you *can* control others; particularly when it comes to getting them to vacate
a room or elevator you want to yourself.  Sounds mighty Slackful to me.

     And brains?  What good do brains do you today, anyway?  My `Bob', how can
you even handle the pressures of today if you actually have to THINK about
those pressures?  How can you stand the problems if you have to THINK about
them?  And more importantly, you don't use your mind to think about your
RELIGION for `Bob's sake!

     As Dr. Dr. Mr. M.D. David Meyer, HellPope of New York once stated, "Brains
are a great detriment to life...".

     And you didn't lose your Slack, buddy.  It's right where you left your car
keys (or was that your virginity?  I get the two confused sometimes...all I
know is that looking for one of 'em under the sofa cushions is absolutely
fruitless).

                                        Bishop Oskee Boskee [B.O.B.]
                                        `Bob' destined you to read this far.

 We're all here because we're not all there. 
 Dyson's Sphere  WWIVnet @ 9939 
0
Newsgroups: alt.slack
From: idealord@dorsai.com (Jeff Harrington)
Subject: You should be a Christian because (30 words max):
Organization: The Dorsai Embassy, New York's Computer Consulate. +1.718.729.5018
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 19:11:39 GMT

 
Walker Percy, dead Louisiana author said something like 'dis:
 
O.K. you're on a desert island, right, and one day you get a 
bottle with a message in it.  The messages sez:  Help is on its way,
if you believe in it.  So, do you believe in the promise of help or
not?
 
That's the Walker Percy Message in a Bottle Apology for Christianity.
 
Here's what really happens.  You're on a desert island.  You get a
bottle with a message in it.  The message sez:  Hi, we're doing
research on oceanic currents and will send you $3.00 if you mail this
card back to our laboratory.  
 
-- 
Jeff Harrington        
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
From: dattier@ddsw1.mcs.com (David `Whybo' Tamkin)
Subject: Re: Suggestions needed
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1992 03:52:38 GMT
Organization: Contributor Account at ddsw1, Chicago, Illinois  60657
Keywords: Fnord , Herring , Global Domination

kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote in <ByxL1u.69v@world.std.com>:

| After all, on ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton.  

Wow.

Possible translations into English:

1. "After all, on ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton [as written]."

   That's gibberish.

2. "After all, an ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton."

   That's errant nonsense.  An ounce, even a troy ounce, is nearly a ton?

3. "After all, one ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton."

   That's errant nonsense.  One ounce, even one troy ounce, is nearly a ton?

David `Whybo' Tamkin   Box 59297   Northtown Station, Illinois  60659-0297
dattier@{ddsw1.mcs.com|holonet.net}   CIS: 73720,1570   MCI Mail: 426-1818
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
From: holt_c@cubldr.colorado.edu
Subject: Re: Taiwan, Archie McPhee, Hell notes
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1992 07:50:51 GMT

In article <1992Dec16.171942.26511@klic.rain.com>, keithl@klic.rain.com (Keith Lofstrom) writes:
> Hell notes from Archie McPhee:
>  
> WHAT!?!!!  Taiwan ain't 'MERKIN ?  Call in Lieutenant Wilkes!
> 
> "Lieutenant Wilkes reporting, SIR!"
> 
> Lieutenant, secure Taiwan, and make it the 51st state!
> 
> "Yes, SIR!"
> 
> And while you are there, bring back some Kung Pao Chicken, and some
> Hell Notes!
> 
> "Yes, SIR!"
> 
> 
> Whew!  It's so nice to know that alt.slack has its very own obedient 
> and resourceful Lieutenant.  Think of all the wonderful things he will
> do for us once he becomes a General (or is that Admiral?).
> 
Wow!  I wasn't aware of this.  You must have been talking to my subconscious. 
I knew that it tended to carry out various projects, while I was asleep or
daydreaming, with far more efficiency and effectiveness than I ever could, but
I never knew the extent of it.

But if you want to do any more of this, I suggest that you talk to another one
of our operatives here in the Boulder Office, Gunman-13.  Just a few months
ago he took over a neighborhood in the Manila, Pitcairn Island, Easter Island,
and destroyed two factories in Peru and Columbia and a whorehouse in Bangkok
(all owned by Aram Locutis Enterprises, our main enemy).  He did this all in A
SINGLE DAY.  

He did a fine job with this, considering the fact that he was never instructed 
to do it.  We had only told him to guard an island in the South China Sea.  Oh
well, he's good with fire power but not very smart.  Then there was that one
thing he did when a simply asked him to go buy a loaf of bread, but I digress. 
BTW we paid for the damages he did in the two islands and Manila.  

If you're interested in getting in contact with him, the last I heard, he was 
lost somewhere in Turkey.

							Sincerely,
							Lieutenant Wilkes

P.S.	Oh, I forgot to tell you.  "Lieutenant" isn't my rank, it's my first
	name. 
Xref: sparky alt.slack:3438 alt.religion.kibology:5277 rec.humor:36269
From: ltf@ncmicro.lonestar.org (Lance Franklin)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology,rec.humor
Subject: Re: Suggestions needed
Keywords: Fnord , Herring , Global Domination
Date: 11 Dec 92 23:11:53 GMT
Organization: NC Microproducts, Inc.

In article <Bz1z4z.3ME@florence> dpg@cs.nott.ac.uk (`Grave' Dave Gymer) writes:
}In article <ByzA29.4H6@world.std.com> kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
}>Would anyone in the peanut gallery care to suggest an exciting new way
}>to indicate where the jokes are?
}
}How about placing the word `JOKE' in a subtle 9x14 BUAF near each one?
}Subtle but definite.
}
}Or you could include a line/character offset index of the jokes in you
}.signature.

I have found that posting the joke section in Esperanto always works
for me...I've never had a single complaint from the peanut gallery since
I started doing this.


Lance 

-- 
Lance T. Franklin            +----------------------------------------------+
(ltf@ncmicro.lonestar.org)   | "You want I should bop you with this here    |
NC Microproducts, Inc.       |    Lollipop?!?"                 The Fat Fury |
Richardson, Texas            +----------------------------------------------+
From: 1-9939@wwiv.tfsquad.mn.org (Jay Dyson #1 @9939 [SubGenius Minister])
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: No, no, no, no!
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 92 04:30:24 GMT

[Regarding]: Re: You should be a Christian because (30 words max):
[From User]: young#cbnewsh.cb.att.com (young.u.huh) #1005 @506
[Recipient]: No Reply Necessary.

It's simple!

What God wants, God gets...

...God help us all...

                                  
 Dyson's Sphere  Set your modems on stun  WWIVnet @ 9939 
                                  
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
From: rsholmes@rodan.syr.EDU (Rich Holmes)
Subject: Re: Hell notes
In-reply-to: oldman@titan.ucc.umass.edu's message of Fri, 11 Dec 1992 20:18:06 GMT
Organization: Syracuse University
	<Byz2o4.2wF@news.udel.edu> <RSHOLMES.92Dec10132540@rodan.syr.EDU>
	<OLDMAN.92Dec11151806@titan.ucc.umass.edu>
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 92 11:29:24 EST

In article <OLDMAN.92Dec11151806@titan.ucc.umass.edu> oldman@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Tig Stone) writes:

>In article <RSHOLMES.92Dec10132540@rodan.syr.EDU> rsholmes@rodan.syr.EDU (Rich Holmes) writes:
>
>> I have a rubber brain.
>
>	Wow, you really can post well for someone with a rubber brain!
>Har, har, har!  :)
>

Kibo, when you come up with a new way of marking where the jokes are,
*please* do let me know. And even more importantly, make sure Tig
knows.

--
- Rich Holmes
"Grown men, he told himself, in flat contradiction of centuries of
accumulated evidence about the way grown men behave, do not behave
like this." -- Douglas Adams
From: lizi@soda.berkeley.edu (Cosma Shalizi)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: life in suburbia
Date: 12 Dec 1992 04:08:05 GMT
Organization: Campus Crusade for Cthulhu (Berkeley Tentacle)
NNTP-Posting-Host: soda.berkeley.edu
Keywords: geldings suburbia

In article <1992Dec12.010115.25235@umbc3.umbc.edu> gseidman@math14.math.umbc.edu (gseidman@math14.math.umbc.edu) writes:
>In article <1g7fj2INNsgm@agate.berkeley.edu> I wrote:
>>   [Verbiage deleted] I grew up in Bethesda, Maryland, than which there
>>is no urbia more sub. My condolences.
>NOT SO!!! Columbia, Maryland is worse.... have you ever been there? it is a
>suburb lacking a city... oh, pity me, pity me, for I have lived here all my
>life... a car is the only salvation... the slack is lacking, the Columbia
>Mall is the pink of all pinkness in
>YuppieMoneyGrubbingEvilSpamRent-a-CopHighCostLowQuality little booths little
>goddamn booths selling thingies yuppie thingies oh save me....
>I'm done now.
    I _have_ been to Columbia. You _are_ to be pitied. But Potomac has even
less slack. It's one of the places which make you want to drive through
the neighborhood in a rainbow-colored VW Microbus, passing out spray-paint,
_The Anarchist's Cookbook_ and LSD-flavored ice cream to the kids.
	Cosma Shalizi
	In Real Life: lizi@soda.berkeley.edu
	larval physicist
-- 
"I'd love to hold you/ I'd love to kiss you/ I ain't got time for that now."
-Talking Heads, "Life During Wartime"
"Death needs Time for what it kills to grow in."
-William S. Burroughs, "Ah Pook is Here"
Xref: sparky alt.slack:3457 alt.cascade:3605
From: roy%cybrspc@cs.umn.edu (Roy M. Silvernail)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.cascade
Subject: Re: You should be a Christian because (30 words or less):
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 16:28:05 CST
Organization: Villa CyberSpace, Minneapolis, MN

<U19807@uicvm.uic.edu> writes:
>In article <fWqynwn@quack.sac.ca.us>, pharvey@quack.sac.ca.us (Paul Harvey)
>says:
>>In article <Bz0qsv.41C@wrs.com> gak@wrs.com writes:
>>>In article 23836@lobo.rmhs.colorado.edu,
>>eknipp@lobo.rmhs.colorado.edu (Ethan R Knipp) writes:
>>>>Sex is evil-
>>>>Evil is sin-
>>>>sin is forgiven-
>>>>so sex is in!
>>>...and out...and in...and out...
>>honor and offer, offer and honor, ...
>She's a tower of power...in the shower...
I can take about an hour on the Tower of Power...
--
Roy M. Silvernail --    [my machine ] "You can't be serious!"
roy%cybrspc@cs.umn.edu  [my opinions]   "Sure, I _can_...
cybrspc!roy@cs.umn.edu  [my $0.0275 ]     I just choose not to be." -- me
Newsgroups: alt.slack,talk.bizarre
From: jfw@jfwhome.FUNHOUSE.COM (John F. Woods)
Subject: Re: Oswald died today
Organization: Misanthropes-R-Us
Distribution: usa
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1992 16:28:28 GMT

In <D2150040.kpfue1@wildthing.howtek.UUCP> rick@howtek.UUCP (Rick Roy) writes:
>Guns don't kill people,

                         I do.

Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology,rec.humor
From: oldman@titan.ucc.umass.edu (Tig Stone)
Subject: Re: Suggestions needed
Organization: University of Massachusetts at Amherst
	<1992Dec11.185438.6507@athena.cs.uga.edu>
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 20:24:57 GMT


In article <1992Dec11.185438.6507@athena.cs.uga.edu> skip@rosalyn.stat.uga.edu (Skip Gundlach) writes:

> In article <T4RJVB4w165w@quest.UUCP> srhqla!quest!kdq writes:
>>kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes:
>>
>>> [discussion of a cubic foot of gold]
>>> In article <Byy3rq.70z@news.cso.uiuc.edu> dennis@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Thomas 
>>> >In <ByxL1u.69v@world.std.com> kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes
>>> >
>>> >>Wouldn't it weigh a lot?  After all, on ounce of gold weighs nearly a ton. 
>>> >
>>> >Er, no, Kibo--an ounce of gold weighs... an ounce.  It's just not very _big_
>>> 
>>> Perhaps I should not have sworn off the use of smileys in my postings.
>>
>>    Which weighs more: an ounce of gold or an ounce of feathers?  An
>>ounce of gold weighs more.
>>
>>
> But only because of the difference in Troy and avoirdupois...

	You know, I lived in Troy for an ungodly year when I went to
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.  I can attest to the fact that even
if you could get yourself out of boredom and depression for long
enough to contemplate that, you wouldn't want to know the answer.  But
then again, you used to be able to call IPAC for that information...
Before the phone tree.




--
Tig Stone 
(oldman@titan.ucc.umass.edu)
From: 1-9939@wwiv.tfsquad.mn.org (Jay Dyson #1 @9939 [SubGenius Minister])
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Huh...depriving girls, eh?
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 92 04:26:27 GMT

[Regarding]: Re: You should be a Christian because (30 words max):
[Recipient]: Please Reply.

* On <Fri Dec 11 17:09:36 1992>, (Thomas A. Dennis) #214 @506 wrote: 

> >on campus.  Basically they said my sin was not having a girlfriend at that
> >moment in time.  Their actual words were, "You are depriving some girl of
> >yourself."  And I thought I was strange.  Does anybody out there feel that I
> >am depriving them.
> 
> Well, maybe, but I really think that the Church of X should have been a bit 
> more specific... they should have backed up their assertion with a list of 
> EXACTLY which girls you were depriving of yourself, EXACTLY which part of 
> yourself you were depriving them of, EXACTLY which position(s) you should not
> have been depriving them of yourself in [sic?], etc.

     Gee, mebbe they were referring to the rod & staff comforting or something?
I dunno.  The only thing I wonder about is whether their ministers get AIDS
from not washing between hymns (hims).

     Ever irreverent...

                                        Bishop Oskee Boskee [B.O.B.]
                                        My `Bob' wants to kill your mother

       Nemo impune lacessit.    
 Dyson's Sphere  WWIVnet @ 9939 
           [Believe it.]        
0
From: xine@bigwpi.WPI.EDU (the strawberry girl)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: RE: jesus songs
Date: 12 Dec 1992 18:27:45 GMT
Organization: Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: bigwpi.wpi.edu


	[various jesus songs deleted]

	yeah, but the cream of the crop is:

Jesus Was Way Cool
King Missile _Mystical Shit_ Shimmy Disc
 
Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines
 
He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool
 
If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool
 
He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool
 
He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool
 
No wonder there are so many Christians

				--xine, really bored and stuck in her room
				  due to the x, where x>22, inches of snow.
--
xine@wpi.wpi.edu... 
"cos sometimes, i said sometimes, i hear my voice...  and it's been here... 
 silent all these years... years go by, will i still be waiting for somebody 
 else to understand?"		--Tori Amos, *Silent All These Years*