From: Joe.Bethancourt@p0.f17.n114.z1.fidonet.org (Joe Bethancourt)
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: More obnoxious humor...FILK HUNTING!
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 92 10:20:38 PDT
Organization: FidoNet node 1:114/17.0 - Answering Mach, Phoenix AZ

        RULES AND REGULATIONS: FILKER SEASON AND BAG LIMITS 
                                           -Joe Bethancourt 
 
 1300.01 GENERAL 
 
  1.) Any person with a valid state hunting licence may harvest 
      filkers, except on Argo, where it is, of course, banned. 
  2.) Taking of filkers with traps or deadfalls is prohibited. 
      The use of rare tapes as bait is prohibited. 
  3.) Killing of filkers with a vehicle is prohibited. If acci- 
      -dentally struck, remove filker to nearest bar and proceed 
      to carwash. 
  4.) It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest filkers from a 
      snow machine, skateboard, helicopter, aircraft or spacecraft. 
  5.) It shall be unlawful to shout "new tapes!" "cheap guitars!" 
      "open filking in the ConSuite!" or "free bheer!" for the  
      purpose of hunting or trapping filkers. 
  6.) It shall be unlawful to hunt filkers within 100 yards of any  
      music teacher or school of music. 
  7.) It shall be unlawful to use sheep, bunny-fur bimbos, offers 
      of a recording contract, bottles of Tulley, or $100 bills to  
      attract filkers for the purpose of hunting them. 
  8.) It shall be unlawful to hunt filkers within 200 yards of any 
      bar, topless bar, snack bar or the dealer's room. 
  9.) If a filker is FGoH, GoH or is helping to run the Con, it  
      shall be considered gauche to hunt, trap or possess it. 
  10.) Stuffed or mouted filkers must have a State Department of  
       Health inspection for rabies and other vermin. 
  11.) It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise him or her self 
       as a bunny-fur bimbo, tavern keeper, record company executive 
       or talent scout, or brewer for the purpose of hunting filkers. 
  12.) It shall be illegal to hunt any filker while they are singing 
       on-key. 
 
  BAG LIMITS: 
 
         1.) Unstoppable Rhino-Bard                      10 
         2.) Off-Key Throat Ruiner                        5 
         3.) Interminable Guitar Tuner                    2 
         4.) Mary Sue                            $100 Bounty 
         5.) Ose Horribillus                             20 
         6.) Common Stage-Hog                            10 
         7.) Large-Breasted Non-Rhymer                    1 
         8.) Four-Eyed Nerd                               5 
         9.) Microphone Face-Pusher               $50 Bounty 
         10.) Folkie Re-Tread                             2 
         11.) Three Chord Wonder                  $25 Bounty 
 
  PROTECTED SPECIES: 
 
        This varies from region to region. Ask locally.  
 
        NOTE: Some filkers shoot back. Be prepared for this. 
 
  --------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
   Permission is granted to reprint this article. Send a copy to Joe  
   Bethancourt, PO Box 35190, Phoenix, AZ 85069-5190. 


--  

Joe Bethancourt
Internet: Joe.Bethancourt@p0.f17.n114.z1.fidonet.org
Compuserve: >internet:Joe.Bethancourt@p0.f17.n114.z1.fidonet.org