HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Pizza Brain
From: andrewb@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Andrew Bevin)
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 93 23:41:41 GMT
Organization: Fujitsu New Zealand

In article <C1Axo0.F7E@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> moscoso@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Innocuous Punch) writes:
>meg@syrinx.umd.edu (******** Meg *******) writes:
>
>[...boy takes home bits of brain in plastic bag from science class...]
>>Then his mom came home and made pizza, using that "wonderful little bag of
>>sausage" on it. Unfortunately, she found out that it was cow brain *before*
>>serving it.. 
>
>Well, we asked, begged, pleaded with our science teacher, but no beans.  We
>couldn't bring lab stuff home with us.
>
>  Also, unless this was a fresh brain (which i doubt), the preservative
>  materials would overwhelm the beholder:  Pungent, to say the least.
>
>So I'd tread cautiously over this legend.  Doubt his mother would go any
>further than *opening* the bag...
>
>--
>-ivan		DISCLAIMER:  My opinions on cow-brains do not represent
>			     those of my employer, CCSO...

Don't be so sure!

_Mothers_ seldom seem to give much thought to what is actually in the 
lumps of bio-matter that they claim are pizza's or stew or 'insert your
mothers favoured name for her creations'.

A neighbour's mother once badly cut her fingers while grating the cheese
for macroni cheese. After placing the band-aids on, she continued,
and made macroni cheese with interesting blue swirls through it.

Andrew "got married for food" Bevin
-- 
Andrew Bevin      			                     andrewb@icl.co.nz
SDC, Fujitsu New Zealand                      ## I do not speak for Fujitsu! ##
Auckland, New Zealand   
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: C521832@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu
Subject: Re: Terrifying Twinkies (was Re: The Big Pot of Grease)
Organization: University of Missouri at Columbia, U.S.A.
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 00:22:00 GMT
X-Posted-From: mizzou1.missouri.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

In article <16B601001A.C521832@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu>
C521832@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu writes:
 
>In article <1993Jan23.192438.24256@epas.toronto.edu>
>dschlow@epas.utoronto.ca (Deborah Schlow) writes:
>
>>Howard decided to try a science experiment with the remainder of the
>>cake which we had smuggled over the border. He took a purple frosting
>>rose and put it in a clear plastic  jar with a lid. This jar reposes
>>peacefully in my china closet today, almost six years later. Except
>>for the colors having faded a bit, nothing about that hunk of frosting
>>has changed. Scary indeed.
>
>For about six months I left a half-finished plate of cheese grits sitting
>atop a speaker, just short of the ceiling. Every now and then I took it
>down to check on it. I just got firmer; I don't think any sort of fungus
                      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>or bacteria could survive on a diet of calcified grits.
 
As the author of the above message, I would like to reassure everyone that
in fact I meant to say "IT just got firmer" rather than the simple and
obvious typo that appeared.
 
I have not, nor have I ever been, aroused by a plate of calcified grits.
 
Honest.
 
Rev
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Subject: Re: JHB sighting
Organization: NYSERNet, Inc.
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 02:08:53 GMT

In <68UA021E32Zt01@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com> tjc50@juts.ccc.amdahl.com (Terry Carroll) writes:

>Charter is to alt.folklore.urban as rules are to a knife fight.

The knife fights are more realistic on Lost in Space than on Star
Trek.
-- 
/|/-\/-\          currently in NY until the Jewish Agency tells me
 |__/__/_/        I can go back to Jerusalem (early Feb, probably)
 |warren@         
/ nysernet.org    
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: N.W. Choe <nwc1@midway.uchicago.edu>
Subject: Re: My mother the gorilla
X-Xxmessage-Id: <A78B1B8834017491@sl-mac-17.rh.uchicago.edu>
X-Xxdate: Tue, 26 Jan 93 22:47:04 GMT
Organization: Beaver Consulting Co.
X-Useragent: Nuntius v1.1.1d13
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 23:02:01 GMT

In article <1993Jan19.010855.19412@samba.oit.unc.edu> Bruce Tindall,
Bruce.Tindall@launchpad.unc.edu writes:
>Can some of you AFU'ers involved in the study of non-silicon-based
>life please enlighten us as to the voracity (tm) of the
ObSesquipedialianUL
>"Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny"?  Does it?  Or does the phrase
just
>sound good?

OK- I'll never make it into the FAQ, I'm resigned to that, but maybe
next time around I'll make it into the FAQ for having good research
skills and ready sources of information...

_Developmental Biology_ by Scott F. Gilbert, 1991: (summary mine)
1828, Karl Ernst von Baer, the foremost embryologist of his day says,
"I have two small embryos preserved in alcohol, that I forgot to
label.
At present I am unable to determine the genus to which they belong.
They may be lizards, small birds, or even mammals."

1. The general features of a large group of animals appear earlier in
the embryo than do the specialized features.
2. Less general characters are developed from the more general, until
finally the most specialized appear.
3. Each embryo of a given species, instead of pasing through the
adult
stages of other animals, departs more and more from them.
4. Therefore the early embryo of a higher animal is never like [the
adult of] a lower animal, but only like its earlier embryo.

Of particular interest here is item number three. Looking at a chart
of
quite different animal embryos, the earlier stages look quite
similar.

(Hope this sheds some light on the topic.)
N.W. Choe    Beaver Consulting Co.- Chicago
5454 S. Shore Dr. #318
Chicago, IL 60615     312.702.4605
"Embarking upon the obvious to stumble upon the truth."
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center
Date: Wednesday, 27 Jan 1993 15:29:49 EST
From: <MIWHC@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Chocolate Protein Content
 <1993Jan27.024111.12820@ulysses.att.com>

The FDA's limits on insects and rodent droppings in food are fairly stringent
compared to what other countries allow. An biology experiment in college
had us identify what the "defects" were in a box of number 8 spaghetti.
Anytime a dark splotch was found in a noodle it was isolated and tested/
examined. The results were that the processing to the noodle made it very
difficult to detect what the impurity was. My group could find little
correlation, but the professor -- who was more talented at it than we --
claimed he could match up spaghetti impurities to lab samples of insect
parts and droppings. Most of what he found were mice droppings.
From: system@codewks.nacjack.gen.nz (Wayne McDougall)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Okay, if you're so smart ...
Date: 25 Jan 93 00:10:26 GMT
Organization: The Code Works Limited, PO Box 10 155, Auckland, New Zealand

cindy@solan10.solan.unit.no (Cynthia Kandolf) writes:

> Ted Frank asks:
> >Does pooter meat taste like chicken?
> 
> How do you get meat from a 'pooter?  (One year's supply of lutefisk
> for the best answer.)
> 
African or European?


-- 
  Wayne McDougall, BCNU

"I hate quotations." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Organization: University of Maine System
Date: Saturday, 23 Jan 1993 21:24:11 EST
From: Jason McIntosh <IO10716@MAINE.MAINE.EDU>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject:    TIME and the anti-bill

My roomate just got all excited about this:
He showed me a TIME magazine from a couple of months ago that had Bill Clinton'
s huge mug on it, big enough so that the magazine's title was blocking some
of the president to-be's puffy hair. He SWORE to me that the first time he saw
the cover, Bill's head was in front of the word, and the two crests of the lett
er M gave Bill evil red horns!
He concluded that the publishers let a few issues go past them like this before
seeing what the image looked like and quickly rearranging the graphics.
Hmm.

This sounds like the kind of story someone else has head before...

This is my first AFU post after years of lurking, too. yay.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
          _        _
          \\_-_--/      Jason McIntosh -- University o' Maine
          (c\\  \ /)    io10716@maine.maine.edu
          /     g g       Student, hack journalist, subhack cartoonist,
         |  _ __  __     embittered ex-programmer, Usenet lurker,
          \/ \\v\_\/)     mild mudder, and pundit mac consultant.
              \\_/     Oog, I'ze a wolf o' broken character...
               --        or characters...
        Worgfunk           Need some Wheaties...

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dtj@caffeine.cray.com (Dean Johnson)
Subject: Re: Red Zinger dissolves ancient coffee crud
Originator: dtj@caffeine
Organization: Cray Research, Inc.
Date: 26 Jan 93 16:56:50 CST


In article <lm9jnfINNlmp@exodus.Eng.Sun.COM>, landauer@morocco.Eng.Sun.COM (Doug Landauer) writes:

> 
> So one day he decided to try a cup of Red Zinger tea.  Didn't like it
> at all, and left the mostly-full mug overnight.  The next morning, he
> poured out the cold Red Zinger tea, and the mug was spotless.  I always
> wondered after that what Red Zinger tea does to the stomachs of those
> who actually drink the stuff.

A guy at work called me over one time to show me a styrofoam cup that had it
inside surface pitted by some tea that he had tried. Unfortunately, you don't
see the pitting until after you drink the tea or pour it out. This is why
I drink my cheapy tea out of a quart "Hofbrauhaus Munchen" glass stein. 

	-Dean
From: C521832@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu
Subject: Re: Terrifying Twinkies (was Re: The Big Pot of Grease)
Organization: University of Missouri at Columbia, U.S.A.
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 00:12:29 GMT
X-Posted-From: mizzou1.missouri.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

In article <1993Jan23.192438.24256@epas.toronto.edu>
dschlow@epas.utoronto.ca (Deborah Schlow) writes:
 
>Howard decided to try a science experiment with the remainder of the
>cake which we had smuggled over the border. He took a purple frosting
>rose and put it in a clear plastic  jar with a lid. This jar reposes
>peacefully in my china closet today, almost six years later. Except
>for the colors having faded a bit, nothing about that hunk of frosting
>has changed. Scary indeed.
 
For about six months I left a half-finished plate of cheese grits sitting
atop a speaker, just short of the ceiling. Every now and then I took it
down to check on it. I just got firmer; I don't think any sort of fungus
or bacteria could survive on a diet of calcified grits.
 
Then there's the former roommate who kept reusing the same unwashed pots
every day, and wondered why he had diarreah so often...
 
Rev
From: diverson@phys.ksu.edu (David Iverson)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: John Denver
Date: 28 Jan 1993 16:09:22 GMT
Organization: Kansas State University
NNTP-Posting-Host: bose.phys.ksu.edu


>But for Ronald Reagan's personal intervention, Jonh Denver would have been
>the extra crew member on the shuttle Challenger instead of Crista MacAulliffe
>(sp?)... 

Ahh, I see, so RWR new about the explosion before hand?  Yeah, that makes
sense, I heard that John Denver is a 32nd degree mason. 

-David Iverson
--
diverson@phys.ksu.edu
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: moscoso@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Innocuous Punch)
Subject: Re: The Big Pot of Grease
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 06:25:46 GMT

fehr@ms.uky.edu (Jeff Davis) writes:

>Charles Parr writes:
>>
>>I find it difficult to believe that any inimical bugs would
>>thrive in a *simmering* liquid.

>Bacteria mutate rapidly. Plus, there are bacteria which can
>live at certain pressures at temps well above boiling.


to the best of my knowledge, you'd have to be cooking near some pretty
extreme geographical wonderlands for this to be probable...

ObUL:   famous researcher is soon going to publish a book which was
	composed by a highly-developed culture of hemolytic-streptococcus,
	trained to write in the style of Hawthorne...
	 Yes, that's right, the book's going to be called, 
	 "The Scarlet Fever"

foo!  no flames! ;b  	(or at least, that's what I _heard_...)

--
-ivan 
	  Standard Disclaimers, Temperature and Pressure...
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: cmriggin@iastate.edu (C. Marie Riggins)
Subject: Re: Jesus freaks and the return of the grand patriarch.
Keywords: jesus, 
Organization: Iowa State University, Ames, IA
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 22:42:26 GMT

In article <gkennedy.728166591@cunews> gkennedy@alfred.carleton.ca (Garry Kennedy) writes:
>Upon his recent return from Costa Rica, a friend of mine recounted a
>tale that i had heard repeated in Diane Keaton's documentary
>Heaven.  Although not an uncommon sight while travelling, he ran into a
>wide assortment of Jesus freaks, Mormons, Baptists, and every other
>member of the great lost tribe(s) of Israel.  Interestingly enough
>these modern day crusaders went on at great lengths to remind us all
>that Jesus himself has been reborn.  Living now as a young Indian boy
>in Brixton England, just outside of London, he is currently preparing
>to save all our lost souls upon his graduation.  If anyone can add to
>this i would appreciate it.  I would like to have a few words with the
>young lad myself.  Does anyone know if Jesus would have an e-mail
>account? It would be helpful as my hard-drive is running a little slow
>i could use some help from the big guy himself.  
>
>Gary Kennedy
>gkennedy@ccs.carleton.ca   

Great story for a couple of yuks.  But you must be very careful in who you 
attribute it to.  I _seriously doubt_ that you heard that tale from a Baptist.
Possibly from the Moonies though. ;)

Marie :)
  

-- 
| C. Marie Riggins         | "There is no such thing as a bad boy.  There is 
| Iowa State University    | only bad environment, bad training, bad example,
| cmriggin@iastate.edu     | bad thinking."    --Fr. Edward J. Flanagan
| imyself@cwis.unomaha.edu |                     founder: Boys Town, NE
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: Bambi meets Godzilla.
Keywords: bambi cute roadkill
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 06:15:42 GMT

In article <1993Jan26.015409.18825@netcom.com> jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer) writes:
>In article <1993Jan25.220201.16899@nezsdc.icl.co.nz> derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne) writes:
>>The well known film 'Bambi meets Godzilla' just came up in conversation.
>>
>>You know, the one were Bambi just prances around pronking and saying hi to
>>all the cute animals and then getting squashed underfoot by Godzilla.
>>
>>We were just wondering if it ever really existed.  Who were the producers
>>etc. and how much did it gross (out?). 
>>
>>We feel sure that CJL will be able to supply this information and perhaps 
>>tell us if Bambi tasted like chicken.  If not someone else must know.  
>>
>>Derek "Would this qualify as a snuff film" Tearne

Of course it's a snuff film, since I would rerun the file if my terminal
wasn't on-line.

cj "VT-100's definitely don't taste like chicken" l
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.slack,alt.discordia
From: pharvey@quack.sac.ca.us (Paul Harvey)
Subject: Re: Jesus' Birthday
Organization: The Duck Pond public unix: +1 408 249 9630, log in as 'guest'.
	<schumach.727670389@convex.convex.com>
Date: 22 Jan 1993 19:26:40 UTC

In article <schumach.727670389@convex.convex.com> 
schumach@convex.com (Richard A. Schumacher) writes:
>>>>Well, he was born on Easter, so we'd have to look it up and find out 
>>>>whether it fell in March or April that year.
>>>No - Easter was SET as the date of his resurrection. It has nothing to do
>>>with the supposed birth date. 
>> Uh, somebody didn't recognize the joke.
>Well, that makes two of us. What was the joke meant to be?

The joke is that Jesus never existed, at least there were no Hebrews by
that name. It's all an old superstitious myth, some kind of urban or
even SUBurban legend gone astray, converted into a meme, rather SPOOKY really.
And I mean that in the kindest way possums.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,sci.skeptic
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Primate Speech Research: Bogus?
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 17:59:40 GMT

In article <1993Jan25.165925.1851@netcom.com> jmoody@netcom.com (Jim Moody) writes:
>With regard to teaching language...not speech...to non-human primates, it is
>probably true that many of the claims made were exaggerated, but there are
>one or two interesting results that were, at least, thought provoking.
>One of the interesting results, IMHO, was one in which a chimp used
>language creatively, devising a set of signs "sweet" + "water" + "fruit"
>to represent watermelon, before being given the correct American Sign
>Language version.  Says something interesting about cognitive process
>and the use of concepts.

Or the law of large numbers.

Ted "gee, that wasn't a coincidence" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson)
Subject: Re: AFU West V
Reply-To: lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson)
Organization: ACUSON, Mountain View, CA
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 17:31:12 GMT

In article <1993Jan22.040341.18373@midway.uchicago.edu> thf2@midway.uchicago.edu writes:

>It seems I'll have to hold out for 
>AFU West VI.


Isn't that the one where Kirk and McCoy are sent to the Klingon prison camp?


-- 
Drew Lawson                      If you're not part of the solution,
lawson@acuson.com                you're part of the precipitate
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.college
From: graham@cs.washington.edu (Stephen Graham)
Subject: Re: Tuition Refund
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 93 00:04:11 GMT

In article <1993Jan22.052832.21148@midway.uchicago.edu> thf2@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>In article <930121205045.34bd@VAX.CSUN.EDU> VBCSC03L@VAX.CSUN.EDU (snopes) writes:
>>In article <1993Jan21.338.26781@execnet>, al.sorhaindo@execnet.com (al
>>sorhaindo) says:
>>
>>>For example, if your your class was scheduled to meet twice a week
>>>for 15 weeks you would get back 1/30 of your tuition for each time
>>>the instructor was absent.
>>
>> And, if the instructor committed suicide, you got a full refund *and*
>> an "A" in the course.
>
>Actually, a friend of mine was taking a course in the UCLA philosophy
>department to find that his prof had committed suicide.
>
>Now that you mention it, I should really look into what happened to his 
>grade.

My father was a graduate student in sociology during Spring Semester 1970
at Kent State University in Ohio. After the Kent State Massacre, they shut
the University down and gave students three choices:

1)	Take an incomplete in the course and finish at a later date.

2)	Take a final in the course and have the grade figured after that.

3)	Simply take their current grade in the course.

My father was taking his last required course, statistics, and had gotten
an A on the mid-term by some miracle. So he opted for #3, getting a 4.0
for the semester due to someone's death.

Actually, he would have been on campus that day, fairly close to the
protest site, if I hadn't been sick.
-- 
Stephen Graham
graham@cs.washington.edu	 uw-beaver!june!graham
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.conspiracy
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Hepatitis and Taco Bell Scare.
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 03:55:15 GMT

In article <1993Jan25.224842.28081@cs.ucla.edu> pierce@lanai.cs.ucla.edu (Brad Pierce) writes:
>REVISITING THE JUNGLE
>by Jim Sugarman
>
>A similar streamlined process was introduced in 1984 for chicken,
>leading to greatly increased rates of salmonella contamination,
>reports Tom Devine of the Government Accountability Project, a
>watchdog group working with the inspectors.
>
>In their letter to Congress, the federal inspectors cite examples
>of meat contamination which they previously would have stopped but
>now must let pass, including "an eight fold increase in head
>contamination, whose meat goes into products like ground beef ... ; 
>diseases like measles [and] tapeworms; [and] carcasses which fall
>on the floors ... which have blood, cattle feces, urine, ingesta,
>hair, pus from abscesses, grease, dirt, spit and tobacco [on them]."

Moral is: keep kosher.

(So where's Pat Buchanan telling everyone that their failure to
observe Deuteronomy is causing this "plague from God", as he did
with AIDS victims?)

Ted "shoulda been a schechet" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
From: Bruce.Tindall@launchpad.unc.edu (Bruce Tindall)
Subject: Re: Cuttin' the Rug
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 03:54:29 GMT

In article <1993Jan23.161915.17645@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:
> It is certainly true (or at least folklore) that
>the Amish do this with their quilts.  But because of God, not
>Allah in their case.

OK, thanks, I hadn't ever heard that about the Amish.  Interesting.
And indeed, the Amish don't call the big guy "Allah."  But Jews and
Christians who speak Arabic do call him that.  Source:  "A History of
the Arab Peoples," can't remember the author, but was published recently
and mailed to me because I forgot to send back the book club card.  The
book is in my office, which I don't come within miles of on weekends.

>Jon "Amish, Islamic, sound the same to me" Papai

Yeah, but do any Islamic countries have any towns like the Amish have,
such as Intercourse, Blue Ball, Bird in Hand, etc.?  If you posted the
name "Teheran" to alt.sex.perverted, would they be excited?

--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Subject: Re: Tuition Refund
Organization: NYSERNet, Inc.
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 04:13:07 GMT

nj = null@diku.dk (Niels Ull Jacobsen)
sm = S.A.McIntyre@durham.ac.uk (Scott A. McIntyre)

sm: I seem to remember at UC Santa Cruz that if your roommate died you
sm: would receive an automagic pass for the year,

nj: Hmm. Did this depend on how they died? How about if they were murdered?
nj: By their roommate? 

Only if by crossbow.
-- 
/|/-\/-\          This article is supplied without longbox
 |__/__/_/        and uses recycled 100% words, characters and ideas.
 |warren@         
/ nysernet.org