HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: ceo@churchy.gnu.ai.mit.edu (Chip Olson)
Subject: Re: someone elses 'interesting' day in Louisiana !
Organization: Spam-On-A-Rope Inc.
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1992 04:26:11 GMT

In article <920729.09165924.026246@USM.CP6> JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE) writes:

>  "Not to change the subject, but I saw this on the news last night.

>The 'gator bit him on the left thigh and started to drag him
>out into the river. He fought with it for 30 minutes with a
>result of the 'gator got away, he got away from the 'gator
>and he has over 200 stitches in his left thigh, right shin,
>and his back. The local Fish & Wildlife Game Wardens have set
>traps for it. He said," I must have surprised it and it
>surprised me back !" Well, I'm about 500 miles from there,
>so I just saw it on the news. It looks like this guy is a
>contender for the 'Best Understatement of the Year' Award."

"I love things like that (no, not people getting chewed up by reptiles)...
heard of a fellow on a construction site who got in the way of a stray
nail from an air-powered nail gun, and didn't notice anything until he
went to take off his hat and found it was nailed to his head.  His comment
was "I've has worse headaches".

"Then there was the crash at LaGuardia (?) awhile back where a plane took
off with ice all over its wings, and skidded into the water.  The rescue
personnel come screaming out there, and one of them comes across a man
staggering up the embankment, dazed and bleeding, and asks him "Are you
from the plane crash?"  "No," says the guy, "I took a wrong left off the
expressway"  I think that qualifies for Stupid Question of the Year."

--
-Chip Olson. | ceo@silver.lcs.mit.edu | ceo@gnu.ai.mit.edu 
"PROUD SPONSORS OF THOSE WHO CARRY THE TORCH"  -banner on US Post Office
across from burned-out block of stores in south-central LA.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: Nightstalker and Shonias about to go Def
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 17:30:52 GMT

In <1992Jul22.071544.12179@ucc.su.OZ.AU> pope@physics.su.OZ.AU (The Nightstalker) writes:

>"Shonias and I are about to go see Def Leppard tonight.  We have 
>front row seats, so I think that we shall be Def by the end of
>the evening.  It is just as well that you don't need to be able
>to hear to read News."

>The Nightstalker reclines in the hot tub and thinks.....

>"Perhaps I should invest in some cotton wool."

kitten pulls out a couple of pairs of earplugs for nightstalker and
shonias.... "sounds like GREAT fun...."
--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: dbriggs@zia.aoc.nrao.edu (Daniel Briggs)
Subject: Dan'l maybe visits downunder?
Organization: National Radio Astronomy Observatory, Socorro NM
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 92 00:17:11 GMT

Dan'l wanders in, looking a little pleased.  "My boss & I decided that it
probably wasn't worth the time for me to bip off to Seattle next week.
*sigh* So I don't get to visit friends there, which is a shame.  Next time,
Liralen.  *But*, I was considerably mollified when he pointed out that IAU
Symposium 158 (Jan 11-15, in Sydney) was exactly down my area of research,
and that we'd work very hard in trying to get me there.  Between the AAS,
the NRAO, and the meeting itself, the odds are very good that I'll get
funding to go.  Heck, I'm about ready to hock my truck, if that's what it
takes.

"It occurs to me that we've got no shortage of astro types in the bar, a
significant subset of whom seem to be local to that meeting.  So how about
it, DM?  Are you and your cohorts going to show up?  Shall we have a brew
and toast the southern sky if I manage to get there?  How about the rest
of the 'stronomers?  Anyone else going to make ther trek?

Dan'l experimentally tries walking on his hands.  It's clear that he'll need
plenty of practice.

-- 
| Daniel Briggs  (dbriggs@nrao.edu)                      |        USPA B-14993
| New Mexico Tech / National Radio Astronomy Observatory |            DoD #387
| P.O. Box O / Socorro, NM 87801   (505) 835-7391        |
Support the League for Programming Freedom  (info from league@prep.ai.mit.edu)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu (Barbara Trumpinski)
Subject: Re: Anti-Freeze/Much too Cold!Sundog, who has been busy wrestling with concepts of creation
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 01:54:05 GMT



>	The Sea Wasp stares aghast at these madmen.

>	"I used to have a reputation for surviving the cold very well.
>However, I remain skeptical of someone walking, UNAFFECTED, for a mile
>through -40 degrees. Wind chill may be different than straight temperature,
>I suppose (and if you walk WITH the wind, you diminish the wind chill...)

>	"And I think it's lunacy anyway. I'm cheering on global warming.
>If another snowflake is never seen in my vicinity, that will be fine with
>me. 

>	"It's EASY to cool off, but once you get chilled it takes HOURS
>to warm back up."


"gosh sea wasp...." kitten is in a SILLY mood...."you must not know
the right people....doesn't take ME long to warm up...in the right
company...}:)"

--
***************************************************************************
conan the librarian a.k.a. kitten           /\ /\  barbara ann 
"my life's a soap opera, isn't yours?"      {=.=}
                                              ~   trumpins@alexia.lis.uiuc.edu 
"perhaps _any_ universe becomes real in proportion 
to the number of people who believe in it and spend time there." s. robinson

Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: mar@physics.su.OZ.AU (David Mar)
Subject: kitten's kindness [Re: The Nightstalker makes an observation]
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 01:52:51 GMT

>kitten draws a deep breath...takes a lot to get our danger mouse
>pissed off...but when he is...watch out!  "david...how about a drink
>and a hug...and maybe some chocolate...let's see if we can salvage
>some of your evening..."

Danger Mouse smiles at kitten. "Thanks... ooomf!!!!"

He is cut short by a low-flying kitten hug-projectile. He tries to get a
few words out before his mouth is stuffed too full of chocolate.

"Sorry if anyone was offended by my rather heated post. I want to apologise
to StM for the low blow I used, implying that he was a liar. Reading his
words in a sensible manner rather than a strictly literal one, it is quite
clear that he never intended to distort the truth. And thanks to the others
here who stepped in beside me to help calm things dowblfglfbmmmfff...."

Finally, kitten has managed to get enough chocolate into DM's mouth that
he can no longer speak. He smiles at her as he chews, and returns the hug.

Mike, efficient as ever, wanders over with a couple of steaming mugs of
hot chocolate (with marshmallows)...

- Danger Mouse.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re:Anti-Freeze/Much too Cold!Sundog, who has been busy wrestling with concepts of creation
From: <JW83HISW@MIAMIU.BITNET>
Date: Friday, 24 Jul 1992 10:29:36 EDT
Organization: Miami University - Academic Computer Service

and evolution while also struggling with a modem that gets fritzy
when it gets hot and humid out, leaps in to defend the pro-cold POV!
     "I wish it was cool/cold all the time!" he says, looking with
longing out a suddenly appearing X-window where snow and ice gleam
on the side of a well-sculpted ski run.  "Everybody gets so tired
and dull when it gets hot out.  People perk up(particularly me!) in
the cold.  You feel more alive, have more energy, and the cleanest,
purest air in the world is air that is breathed on a day when it is
below freezing out!  God, it feels good!"
     Sundog looks over towards the door where his E-skis and poles
lean, snow still melting off of them.  He then grins at the patrons
of the Place.  "I guess everybody has their prefered temp./season,
which is okay, but I'm going to try and show all of the hot-weather
types the joys of cold weather.  Keep an eye for my nest post, which
will be titled "Snow Fantasy".
 
Don't touch that dial!
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: Manx's Toast
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1992 21:05:09 GMT

In article <1992Jul22.165034.906@cs.yale.edu>, lower-tony@CS.YALE.EDU (Tony Lower) writes:
>   "However, this provides a little problem to my first toast.  I
>was trying to figure out one word for 'Compassion to the stranger
>among you, and open armed welcome of a new friend.'  It is a sad
>comment on Anglo-Saxon heritage that there is, to the best of my
>knowledge, no English word for this.  Therefore, I hereby coin an
>appropriate word for this (as is my fashion).  From here on out,
>let callahans (no capitals) denote this set of wonderful feelings.
>
>   "To callahans!"

StM adds helpfully, "To hospitality!  I'm pretty sure there's a word with
similar meaning and Anglo-Saxon origins, but I can't remember it at the moment."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: Lowering StM's confusion re: even more SEA takes a ride.
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 16:48:40 GMT

In article <920728.10005520.025093@USM.CP6>, JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE) writes:
>StM once again looks confused.  "How did you get a copy that was half German and
>half English?  I thought it was either ``Also sprach Zarathustra'' or ``Thus
>spake Zarathustra.''"
>
>   <DJ starts laughing so hard, he almost falls over !>
>
>   "StM, I didn't know I could confuse a kzinti that easily !

If you monkeys couldn't confuse Kzin easily, you'd've never won the wars.

>  "Mike, to lower StM's confusion rate. Lets toss him into the
>pool !" DJ.
>
>  "I'm not going to help you throw a kzinti into a pool !" Mike.
>
>  "Well, it was just a thought, " DJ. :-)

StM offers, "Here, I'll help you."  He grabs himself by the scruff of the neck.
"Now, which way's the pool?"
From: rkoch@lonestar.utsa.edu (Ruth M. Koch)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: The New Kid
Date: 27 Jul 92 21:27:04 GMT
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio

Quoting P'relan:
>I don't know about that one though I do wonder sometimes about the impressions
>you get of Ohio from movies.  Let's see...we have transsexual aliens (The Rocky
>Horror Picture Show is set in Denton, OH - look closely and the newspaper
>Janet's holding over her head is a Cleveland Plain Dealer)...and there's always
>the impressions you get from _Heathers_ ("Mineral water? They were fags!")...
>Unfortunately it tends to be somewhat more normal in RL...

 Sir, I don't know whether to be offended by this or not.

 What does this mean?

 Was your intent to say that Ohio is more open-minded than Brad and
 Janet in _ RHPS_, and the sheriffs in _Heathers_?

 Nathan.
From: rkoch@lonestar.utsa.edu (Ruth M. Koch)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: More of Nathan being Depressed. (feel free to skip this)
Date: 22 Jul 92 21:31:05 GMT
Organization: University of Texas at San Antonio

In article <1992Jul22.181005.5275@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> nev@Turing.ORG (Niles E. VanDenburg) writes:
>Indeed, sometimes the way that I handle the intimidation by others is
>to simply imagine the person taking a crap - preferably one that takes
>forever.  As to feelings of not belonging I must admit to similar
>feelings - many of the people here are (apparently) closely associated
>with academic environments and it has been so long for me that I can
>barely remember what it was like in college.

  *blush*  Um... couldn't I just imagine them in their underwear
  or naked or having an orgasm?  Imagining people on the potty is
  so...I don't know...violating.  Nobody should know what someone
  else looks like at such times.

  (giggle..snort)


>Niles walks over and stands with Nathan offering a hug or a person to
>talk with, or whatever is needed.

  Thanks, hugs are always needed.

  Nathan.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: Responsibilities of Artists (was Re: Pornography and Playboy)
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1992 01:27:23 GMT

In article <1992Jul26.232450.14901@midway.uchicago.edu>, mss2@quads.uchicago.edu (Michael S. Schiffer) writes:
>In article <1992Jul26.214129.12173@midway.uchicago.edu> kwhyte@dent.uchicago.edu (Kevin Whyte) writes:
>>We embrace the idea that seeing both sides of a case argued as well as 
>>possible is a good route to the truth ( look at our legal system ),

>	"Besides, the general esteem in which lawyers are held I think
>reflects the fact that people _don't_ think that it's particularly
>fair to let important questions hinge on the debating skill of a
>professional advocate.  It's simply that no one's managed to convince
>most of society that any other particular method would be more
>successful.

There's a difference between "seeing both sides of a case argued as well as
possible" and "let[ting] important questions hinge on the debating skill of a
professional advocate," especially when the latter is in the context of
a courtroom, where, at least in this country, those who must make the decision
are not able to query those presenting the evidence (I know, technically it IS
possible for a jurist to ask the judge to put a question to a witness, but how
often does that happen?), and where those making the decision are not
conversant with the nuances of rules of evidence.  In such a situation, it's
all too easy (yes, I know it's not trivial, but it's far from impossible, and
as best I can tell, not uncommon) for a clever debater to mislead the jurists
while staying within the letter of the law on evidentiary rules.

For example, in science, at least in the ideal scenario, and largely as
practiced at Caltech, in my experience, when two alternate theories are
proposed which conflict with each other, both sides are eager to have those
advocating the conflicting theory put forth their best evidence in favor of
their theory.  Only by so doing can the two groups design experiments which
will (they hope) prove one theory or the other wrong.  Of course, one always
hopes that it's the other fellow's theory that will be proven wrong.
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pierce@spop.navo.navy.mil (Jim M. Pierce)
Subject: Welcome ! Re: The New Kid
Reply-To: pierce@navo.navy.mil (Jim M. Pierce)
Organization: POPS Operations I/O Operator
Nntp-Posting-Host-[nntpd-1020]: spop.navo.navy.mil
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1992 14:51:52 GMT

In article <bsackste.49@AFIT.AF.MIL>, bsackste@AFIT.AF.MIL (Bernadette M. Sacksteder) writes:
|> The New Kid peers uncertainly in the sudden light after her dark corner. 
|> She clears her throat.
|> "Ahem. Yeah, I'm another unlurker(sp?). There seem to be a lot of us lately. 
|> In Real Life I'm Bernadette Sacksteder, a summer worker at the local Air 
|> Force Base near Dayton, Ohio. I work at a computer help desk, or pretend to 
|> anyway.:-)"
|> She walks up to the bar, pulling a crumpled bill out of her pocket.
|> "Uh, Mike, could I have a Lemon Sling?"

     "Welcome To The Place ! Boss is up in orbit, rollerskating with SEA.
    Would you like some bisquits ?" Robbie.

-- 
jmpierce%usmcp6.bitnet@vm.tcs.tulane.edu <- guaranteed there Wed. only !
Disclaimer: Standard. Recent Album: Muddy Waters:Muddy Waters Live
From: eesshlgb@gdr.bath.ac.uk (S H L G Bisson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Anti-Freeze/Much too Cold!Sundog, who has been busy wrestling with concepts of creation
Date: 28 Jul 92 10:01:17 GMT
Organization: School of Electrical Engineering, University of Bath, UK

In article <1992Jul27.105908.3438@cco.caltech.edu> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:
>Oh, I don't know.  The Eastern Shore of Maryland also has an ocean-influenced
>temperate climate (remember:  We get some of the heat from the Gulf Stream
>before it heads across the pond in your direction).

"Mind you, you do have pretty significant effects due to being attached to a
large continent! The North Sea, despite being not too large, and on the whole
rather shallow, prevents most continental temperatures, and the prevailing
westerlies have their uses... Though a westerly winter gale is one of my least
favourite weather features (unless I'm standing on a sea-cliff, watching the 
waves)."

>>"There's probably a bit of a difference between Durham and Hawaii though,
>>perhaps a bit more rain than you're used to!
>
>I'd find that hard to believe, since some parts of Hawaii have more days per
>year in which it rains than just about any other place on Earth.

"Ah... yes. I knew that. I just didn't remember it... (Not a good excuse, but,
hey, do you remember everything down the pub? :-) All those childhood days
spent pouring over National Geographics, encyclopedias and the Guiness Book
of Records weren't wasted - I made it to school general knowledge champion, and
now no one will play me at trivial pursuit...

"Anyway, I'm British, and we always talk about the weather here...

"Just a quick report for Didi - it's sunny, with a light breeze, and a
scattering of cumulus clouds (you know, the little fluffy ones...). The
temperature is currently about 22 Celsius (so if you shine the LoR in my
direction you'd get to see that rare sight, my legs, as it's shorts weather
there in Bath...)"

---=-
Ignatz Mouse/Simon H Le G Bisson...keep me away from Sf bookshops, by force....
-=---
From: steve@Advansoft.COM (Steve Savitzky)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: The Golden Gryphon Speaks
Date: 24 Jul 92 23:23:40 GMT
Organization: Advansoft Research Corp, Santa Clara, CA

"Glad you liked my music," says the Mandelbear.  "Unfortunately we'll
be out of the SF Bay Area between July 26 and Aug. 10 (visiting
parents in CT), so any party plans will have to be made on somewhat
short notice.  In any case you ought to be able to drive over the hill
to San Jose on Wednesday, which is Grand Central Starport's weekly open
house, and well-attended by Callahans folk.  See you!"
--
\ --Steve Savitzky--  \ ADVANsoft Research Corp \       FREE CYBERIA!      \
 \ steve@advansoft.COM \ 4301 Great America Pkwy \ Committee for a Free and \
  \ arc!steve@apple.COM \ Santa Clara, CA 95954   \  Independent Cyberspace  \
   \__ steve@arc.UUCP _________408-727-3357___________________________________
From: JMPIERCE%USMCP6.bitnet@VM.TCS.Tulane.EDU (JIM PIERCE)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Lowering StM's confusion re: even more SEA takes a ride.
Date: 28 Jul 92 15:01:44 GMT
Organization: Yale CS Mail/News Gateway


In article <9207252213.AA13316@pops.navo.navy.mil>, pierce@navo.navy.mil (James
 M. Pierce) writes:
>     { more. yes, more... }
>
>   <whee> leapfrog over the satellites...
>
>  "How about a change in songs ?" SEA.
>
>  "Okay, what do I have in my suit here, aha ! 'also spake Zarathustra'

StM once again looks confused.  "How did you get a copy that was half German and
half English?  I thought it was either ``Also sprach Zarathustra'' or ``Thus
spake Zarathustra.''"

   <DJ starts laughing so hard, he almost falls over !>

   "StM, I didn't know I could confuse a kzinti that easily ! I can
blame this on someone at work because I could only remember the
'also' and 'Zarathustra' part. They supplied the 'spake' bit,
it didn't sound correct, but I wanted to get the post out as I
was just a little buried under my new work load. Ah well. Since
the version I remember is an instrumental{Ha !} with a choral doing
weird things with their voices, well how could it matter if it was
half English and half German ? Unless, of course, the conductor
hired an orchestra that was half German and half British..."
  DJ decides to stop while he is still behind... :-) :-) :-)

  "Mike, to lower StM's confusion rate. Lets toss him into the
pool !" DJ.

  "I'm not going to help you throw a kzinti into a pool !" Mike.

  "Well, it was just a thought, " DJ. :-)


* <JMPIERCE@USMCP6.BITNET> Jim "NickD." Pierce; Bach. Sci. in Appl. Cmp Sci
* USM Academic Computing on the Gulf Park Campus. Disclaimer: Standard.
* "At least my initials aren't Dan Quayle." me
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU (Speaker-to-Minerals)
Subject: Re: and stuff.. as always..
Reply-To: lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU
Organization: HST Wide Field/Planetary Camera
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1992 04:11:12 GMT

In article <1992Jul29.231200.25916@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, jpalmer@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (John D Palmer) writes:
>In article <1992Jul28.192744.23845@morrow.stanford.edu> HF.TXG@forsythe.stanford.edu (TJ) writes:
>>TJ jumps in: Or how 'bout my favorite...'I see.' said the blind man
>>to the deaf mute, and the man with no legs walked away in disgust.
>>
>
>
>     "One fine day in the middle of the night,
>      two dead boys got up to fight
>      back to back, they faced each other
>      took out their knives and they shot each other
>      a deaf policeman heard the noise
>      and that was the end of the two dead boys."
>

StM places a phone call to RFC, and soon we hear a banjo over the speakers.
Then the vocals kick in, and we hear "Oh, Susanna," with such phrases as "It
rained all night the day I left, the weather was so fine;  it was so hot I
froze to death...."
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
From: pope@physics.su.OZ.AU (The Nightstalker)
Subject: Re: The Nightstalker makes an observation
Organization: School of Physics, University of Sydney, Australia
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1992 01:20:59 GMT

In article <1992Jul20.093409.10935@cco.caltech.edu> lydick@SOL1.GPS.CALTECH.EDU writes:
>In article <1992Jul20.004229.12223@ucc.su.OZ.AU>, pope@physics.su.OZ.AU (The Nightstalker) writes:
>>The Nightstalker is slightly amused.
>>

"The Gospels are eyewitness accounts of what happend, inspired by the holy    
Spirit, and so are literal.  The problem with pi is simply not having the exact
number of decimal places.  As for genesis, that is still open to debate really
isn't it.  Revelation is a vision, and is deliberately written in poetic
language, a style of that era (please speak to literary historians for    
verification), and has phrases that are from the O.T that the readers would
understand.  It is also vague because it is talking about the majesty of God,
which is hard for humans to cope with.  If God spoke to you, would you ask
him for a better life of be awed by His presence.  There is no 'more or less'
with eyewitness accounts, with documented history.  Are you not seeing the
forest for the trees.  You may say it is convenient for me to take what I like
to be what I like, but is is not convenient to pick on decimal places, and 
ignore the love of God?


Flame if you will, who does it show up?  My conscience is clear."



--
The Nightstalker.....




"Though this be madness, yet there is
method in't." - Hamlet act II, scene II
Newsgroups: alt.callahans