HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: maslak@unix.SRI.COM (Valerie Maslak)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Help with a present
Date: 15 Oct 92 21:29:26 GMT
Organization: SRI International, Menlo Park, California

Bryan,

You have the right idea.
If your friend realy cares for you, you don't have to give her
presents all the time.....and it may even be a bad idea to get into
the habit of her expecting you to come up with something new and
wonderful and more expensive every time.

But people being what they are, we all like to feel appreciated.
So it is nice of you to want to show your friend how much you care.

Right now, my SO is away on a long-term assignment, so we keep in
touch by mail and fax. I fax him jokes. I send him care packages
of books, magazine and newspaper articles, tapes I've put together
of our special songs, and small "goodies" that he can't otherwise
get, like pocket-sized kleenex packs, and sugar-free bubble gum.
He always says that when he opens his packages, he knows I still
love him because I've clearly been thinking of him.

So I would say, take that as your clue. A book, a picnic in the
park, a special dinner or dessert you made yourself, a book of "coupons" for
hugs to be provided when needed, all of these are good alternatives
that don't break the bank.


Valerie Maslak
From: jaker@csugrad.cs.vt.edu (Jake Rose)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Interfaith marriages????
Date: 11 Oct 92 18:56:32 GMT
Organization: Virginia Tech Computer Science Dept, Blacksburg, VA

IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU writes:

>hi!
>I was wondering of all you netters out there....
>Do interfaith marriages work?  (I mean, between different
>denominations of Christianity???) How do you make them work?
>What if your spouse is intolerant of any religion but his own, and
>bashes your church and refuses to allow you to attend it?  What do
>you do then?

Between different Christian denominations?  That's not interfaith,
really.  Most Christians believe at least similar theologies, and
should be able to resolve differences fairly easily - I have
relatives who have accomplished the far more difficult combination
of Christianity and Judaism, so it's quite possible.  The question
is the people involved.  If he is so intolerant that even another
Christian church won't do, you're going to have problems, obviously.

The most important thing in a relationship for each individual is
not to lose sight of who you are.  If getting married to someone is
going to force you to sacrifice your dreams or beliefs unwillingly,
it's probably not for you.

>Please help...I need advice!

>THANKS>..................Me.
-- 

Wulf                    |"Did you make mankind after we made you?"
jaker@csugrad.cs.vt.edu |			--XTC, "Dear God"

-- 

Wulf                    |"Did you make mankind after we made you?"
jaker@csugrad.cs.vt.edu |			--XTC, "Dear God"
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: 7011_5620@uwovax.uwo.ca
Subject: Couple seeking couple for fun times
Organization: University of Western Ont, London
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 16:21:36 GMT

I'm looking for a couple to spend some interesting moments with me and my
girlfriend.I'm 24 and my girl friend is 19.Call Jim at (519) 439-1652


Serious calls only please.
.
From: jm5p+@andrew.cmu.edu (Judi Mancuso)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Birthday Present
Date: 9 Oct 92 06:35:12 GMT
Article-I.D.: andrew.cepNWUe00iV041a65A
Organization: Student Employment Office, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA

Okay, Nick, you said wild--
How about a budoir portrait of yourself.  Budoir is a nice way of saying
"nude". Actually, it is a bit different than that.  Women have them done
more often than men but gee, I would have loved on of my then-fiancee
(now husband) when we were living far apart.  Most of these portraits
are pretty large (to hang in a bedroon or budoir) and not extremely
revealing--they are pretty tasteful, actually.  You don't have to have a
painter do it--actually a good photograher (a friend, perhaps) could do
it for you and take it to a quality developer to blow up then have it
mounted and framed.  Like I said, they really can be done tastefully.  I
am imagining an outdoor (near water perhaps) scene.  I think this is a
wonderful, wild, loving gift and sure to be remembered.   Enjoy. Judi
Organization: University of Maine System
Date: Saturday, 10 Oct 1992 13:55:43 EDT
From: <IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Interfaith marriages????

hi!
I was wondering of all you netters out there....
Do interfaith marriages work?  (I mean, between different
denominations of Christianity???) How do you make them work?
What if your spouse is intolerant of any religion but his own, and
bashes your church and refuses to allow you to attend it?  What do
you do then?

Please help...I need advice!

THANKS>..................Me.
From: andy@pangea.Stanford.EDU (Andy Michael USGS Guest)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Procreation?
Date: 12 Oct 92 02:56:56 GMT
Organization: Stanford Univ. Earth Sciences

In article <1992Oct11.185724.6922@infonode.ingr.com> greg@cherokee.b23b.ingr.com (Greg Moritz) writes:
>I was having a bit of a chat with my sister recently.  I was saying that
>in my social circle, most men were not particularly interested in having
>kids, and the ones who had them, had them (in part) due to the insistence
>of the woman.  However, my sister said that most of her friends who had
>kids had them at the insistence of their husbands.  Furthermore, those
>men were happy to take care of the kids (all aspects) anytime that they
>were home and available to do so (suprising).
Not sure who the instigators are but your last sentence hardly
describes equal parenting.  Being happy to take care of the kids when
you have to be at work is what it is all about.  Doing it when you
happen to be at home is hardly an equal share.

>Also, on a related note, are there many folks out there who don't desire
>children ... ever?  I just don't understand the instinct to have one (or
>more).  I realize people *do* have that instinct.  I accept that.  It's
>just that I don't.   I could see myself participating in a big brother
>type of thing, but if I can avoid it, I would like never to have one of
>my own.
>
>My feelings have been described as immaturity by some, but I'd like to
>feel that I am not alone here.  Others say that I will someday change my
>mind, but they have been telling me that since I was 20 (thirteen years
>ago).
Well you, me, and my wife are all about the same age and it doesn't
seem like any of us are all that interested in having kids.  Sure, we
love and enjoy being with our 11 (soon to be 12) nieces and nephews
and a few honorary nieces and nephews but so far we are quite happy
without any of our own after 7 years of marriage.

Andy
From: peri@cco.caltech.edu (Michal Leah Peri)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Engagement Rings (Where to buy)
Date: 16 Oct 1992 19:02:37 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
NNTP-Posting-Host: sandman.caltech.edu

sleight@blackbird.larc.nasa.gov (David W. Sleight) writes:

>I am planning on buying an engagement ring for my girlfriend
>in the next month or so.  I have already started to look at
>jewelry stores in shopping malls and discount places like
>Service Merchandise and Best.  Service Merchandise and Best
>sell rings at 30% below the ring's appraised value. I think they
>give you the appraisal when you buy the ring.  What about jewelry
>stores - do they give you some certificate of the appraisal
>or quality of the ring ?  How close is the price of rings in jewelry
>stores to the ring's appraised value?  What are the different levels of 
>quality in a diamond ring ?

The best place to buy your ring is from the wholesalers in LA or NY.
What you save on your ring (30-50% of the retail price) will probably
pay for your trip.

Before you buy any diamond ring (were you planning on getting a diamon?)
get a pamphlet on the four Cs:  Cut, Clarity, Color, Carat weight

Go shop around, decide what you like, decide on a budget, and then
shop around some more for the best deal.  

One more work of advice:  she'll be wearing the ring, so make sure
she gets one that *she* likes.  One of my worst experiences was
when an ex-boyfriend surprized me with a ring I truly disliked.  It
was at a dinner party with a half-dozen friends looking on.  I didn't 
want to embarass him by telling him that I hated the ring, but I just 
couldn't bear to wear it.  I thought it showed a lack of respect on 
his part that he would pick out some jewelry without consulting me,
and then expect me to wear it every day for the rest of my life.

						--  Michal


Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: kalia@next04epsl.wam.umd.edu (Atul Kalia)
Subject: Re: What adjectives do you think best describe romantic jealousy?
Organization: Workstations at Maryland, University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1992 03:04:00 GMT

In article <1992Oct5.234328.7537@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>  
baltman@prodigal.psych.rochester.edu (Brian Altman) writes:
> I am putting together a survey on romantic jealousy. I'd like to include  
a
> part where I'd have 10-20 adjectives that people commonly associate with
> romantic jealousy and their feelings. A couple of examples I can think  
of
> off the top of my head are: angry, upset, lonely. I'd like to get a few
> from a few dozen people so I can compile a list of the most common for  
use
> on the survey.
>  
> The survey will be completed in around 2-3 weeks and I will be sending a
> paper version to hopefully a few hundred people. It will consist of  
around
> 35 quick "check the box" questions, and 2 or 3 write a sentence or two
> items. I will include a self addressed stamped envelope with the survey
> (which can also be faxed back). I'd like to get responses of people from
> every sexual orientation and age. My only requirement is that you  
currently
>  
>  
> are in a relationship with a "significant other" in some way for over  
two
> weeks.
>  
> SO. Please help a poor soul earn his degree and volunteer.
>  
> If there are not many volunteers I will implement an incentive raffle.  
Each
> person returning the questionaire gets 1 chance to win $50. If I do have  
to
> do this, the people who volunteer (and return) the survey before I do  
this
> will recieve 2 chances vs. one for those volunteering later.
>  
> Thanx a whole bunch :)
>  
> P.S.- all you have to do to volunteer is e-mail me your address; I will
>       acknowledge you within 24 hours for the most part.
>  
> P.P.S.- all volunteers' results and data will be kept strictly  
confidential.
>         your results will be assigned a code based on your sex and  
sexual
>         orientation, at which point your name will forever be removed  
from
>         the data. I will keep a seperate list of names and addresses so
>         that I can later contact you and let you know about the results.
>  
> -Brian

Anguished,  
languished,frustrated,angst,raged,outraged,depressed,disgusted,dismayed,  
disbelief ,amazed,bewildered,surprised,shocked,curious(yes!),hateful,  
loathsome, dejected,rejected,


Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: O1ADAMS@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU (Debbie Adams)
Subject: Re: Interfaith marriages????
Organization: The University of Akron
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 07:02:24 GMT

In article <92284.135543IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU>
<IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> writes:
 
>hi!
>I was wondering of all you netters out there....
>Do interfaith marriages work?  (I mean, between different
>denominations of Christianity???) How do you make them work?
>What if your spouse is intolerant of any religion but his own, and
>bashes your church and refuses to allow you to attend it?  What do
>you do then?
>
>Please help...I need advice!
>
>THANKS>..................Me.
When you say intolerant of ***any*** religion I think that is a serious
problem.  I was just recently married, but before we got married my husband
and I attended different churches of different faiths.  We decided that
bottom line was that we did not want a divided house.  His parents attend
two different churches of two different faiths and there are some problems
but not to the point where they feel they must split up.  My husband and I
decided to visit and search for not only a church but a faith that we both
felt comfortable with and felt happy with.  We were very blessed because it
didn't take us very long before we found one.
 
I think you and your spouse should have discussed this before marriage because
could be a serious problem.  But no matter what be patient and don't lose
faith.  Pray about it.
 
Good luck to you.
From: jbuck@forney.berkeley.edu (Joe Buck)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Interfaith marriages????
Date: 11 Oct 1992 20:47:44 GMT
Organization: U. C. Berkeley
NNTP-Posting-Host: forney.berkeley.edu

In article <92284.135543IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> <IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> writes:
>hi!
>I was wondering of all you netters out there....
>Do interfaith marriages work?  (I mean, between different
>denominations of Christianity???) How do you make them work?

Well, that depends on many things.  I was raised a Catholic and my wife
was raised a Presbyterian, but since neither of us now practices our
religion and many of our objections to the various churches are similar,
there isn't a problem, of course.  I think that similar values are far
more important than similar denominations.  For more devout people, the
problem depends on how different the two branches of of Christianity are;
some are only slightly different (e.g. Catholic and Episcopalian), some
are radically different (your typical liberal mainline Protestant vs
strict fundamentalist).  You also need to talk about how you will raise
the children; sometimes interfaith marriages sail along fine until the
issue of which faith the child is brought up with rears its ugly head.

>What if your spouse is intolerant of any religion but his own, and
>bashes your church and refuses to allow you to attend it?  What do
>you do then?

"Refuses to allow"?  The problem here isn't "how to make an interfaith
marriage work".  It's more like "what to do about an abusive, controlling,
bully of a spouse".  Wives are no longer considered the property of their
husbands, subject to being ordered about, although some of the more
conservative sects of Christianity still preach otherwise.  If it matters
to you to go to your church, go to your church with or without your
husband's permission.  And if he cannot handle this, well, at the risk of
sounding hopelessly un-cool, it may be time to ask the old Ann Landers
question: are you better off with him or without him?



--
Joe Buck	jbuck@ohm.berkeley.edu
From: shannah@netcom.com (Teri Miller)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Wedding "parties"
Date: 16 Oct 92 20:51:26 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest)

In article <1992Oct16.154046.22515@netcom.com> rfelix@netcom.com (Robbie Felix) writes:
>I am thinking of having a luncheon at my house for my department to
>celebrate the marriage with me and my fiance. I would make it clear
>that it is absolutely NOT a solicitation for gifts but that because I
>had to the limit the wedding size so severly ( and because I consider
>them all my friends) I wanted an oportunity to celebrate with them.
>
>I wonder if anyone has done anything like this or how people deal with
>this problem. I really hate to hurt anyone's feelings and feel that
>there must be someway to include them without inviting them to the wedding.
>
Well, this sounds very much to me like a wedding reception.  I have
read in Miss Manners' book that it's perfectly acceptable to have more
than one reception, especially if there is some sort of reason why one
reception won't do (as in your case, with the limit on numbers of people).

I can't imagine anyone would be insulted to be invited to a reception.
Especially one as nice as a luncheon in your home.  My advice would be
to go ahead and do it - I'm sure your department would appreciate it.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: vinlai@cbnewsb.cb.att.com (vincent.lai)
Subject: Re: Birthday Present
Organization: AT&T
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 13:28:52 GMT

From article <1b1s20INNo9k@oak45.doc.ic.ac.uk>, by cs5@doc.ic.ac.uk (Nick):
> 
> You seem like a very helpful lot. Perhaps you could help...
> My girlfriend's birthday is coming up soon. Sure, I'd love to take her out to a
> romantic dinner and all that but she lives thousands of miles away (sigh!). I
> had a dozen roses delivered to her last year so she'll be expecting something 
> else this year! Any suggessions? The wilder, the better!
> --
> Nick

I came across a mail order place (USA) that delivered panty roses (the
rosebud being the actual panty).  IMO, I would not recommend buying
a dozen black panty roses, but I the red ones could be a turn-on.

Anybody know of this place?  What's the number?

--------------------------------------------------------------------
"Mom, we're hungry!" - Bud Bundy          "Why tell me?" - Peg Bundy

Vincent Lai
vlai@attmail.com
vinlai@cbnewsb.att.com
wcmnja!lai@somerset.att.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------
From: cma@cbnewsm.cb.att.com (christine.m.dakes)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Wedding "parties"
Summary: sounds great, I did it
Date: 16 Oct 92 17:24:59 GMT
Organization: AT&T


Your idea sounds great to me.  My husband and I had a very tiny/intimate
romantic wedding, the only people there were our parents and my grandmother
(the only living grandparent).  For us, our wedding was perfect.
We each have large families.  After the wedding and honeymoon, we had
a big bash picnic at our house for family and friends, and I do mean
*everyone*.  Partly catered, partly homemade stuff.  Definitely no
solicitation for gifts, just wanted everyone to join us to celebrate our
marriage.  We even had a duplicate wedding cake there (a bigger one,
of course) and used wedding/bridal paper plates etc etc and decorations.
(My sister did the same thing after her surprise elopement, that's
where I got the idea actually).
 
Anyway, it was great for us and everyone.  And with
11 kids under the age of 10, it was lots of fun, no worry about being
dressed up or having to behave or be quiet, just a casual fun picnic
party.  Everyone liked it, no one was "offended" by our wedding plans.
In fact, I would say our arrange worked out best.

So yes, I agree with you, sounds like a great idea, go for it, no
one should mind or be offended (and if they are who cares and what
kind of friend are they anyway?).  And in fact, some might like it more,
and be relieved at not being "obligated" to give an expensive gift or
buy a new dress, whatever.  Seems like the ideal and most "fair"
solution for you.  Besides, it'll be fun, more enjoyable, less worries
and hassles.

Christine
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: geog421@matai.vuw.ac.nz
Subject: Re: Help with a present
Summary: RE: Surprise
Reply-To: The Kiwi connection
Organization: 	Victoria University of Wellington,  NZ
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1992 07:04:36 GMT

In article <1992Oct10.183340.6364@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>, bwwoodco@nyx.cs.du.edu (bryan woodcock) writes:
> Hello, I am a 19 years old and am deeply in love (I guess you would call it
> love considering that I have never truly felt this way before). My
> girlfriend is 18 and we are in college (so we are broke). I am looking for
> a GOOD present to give her for our two month anniversary (I know two
> months doesn't really count). I gave her six red roses for our first month.
>     
> I really love this girl, and I want to surprise her, please please help
> me!!!!!
> 
> Bryan wayne Woodcock


Buy her a $2000 diamond, as you pass it over drop it on the ground. When she
bends over give her a big surprise.

Your Kiwi connection>
From: cheryl@drutx.ATT.COM (FriersonCL)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Interfaith marriages????
Date: 12 Oct 92 19:23:14 GMT
Organization: AT&T, Denver, CO

In article <92284.135543IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU>, IK20050@MAINE.MAINE.EDU writes:
> Do interfaith marriages work?  (I mean, between different
> denominations of Christianity???) How do you make them work?
> What if your spouse is intolerant of any religion but his own, and
> bashes your church and refuses to allow you to attend it?  What do
> you do then?

Excuse me, but why in the world would you want to marry someone who
"bashes your church and refuses to allow you to attend it"??????????
Dump him, he's a loser, and, if you actually believe that your husband
should have the right to allow or disallow you to do something, you
need help.




Organization: Student Employment Office, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Date: Wed,  7 Oct 1992 15:58:54 -0400 
From: Judi Mancuso <jm5p+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Re: Wedding anniversary

Rajiv asks for romantic ideas for his wedding anniversary....

Kidnap your wife.   Literally go and get her, put a blind fold on her
and take her away.............. Use your imagination.  Be sure to pack
some champagne.  Enjoy!  Judi
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: greg@cherokee.b23b.ingr.com (Greg Moritz)
Subject: Procreation?
Reply-To: greg@cherokee.b23b.ingr.com (Greg Moritz)
Organization: Dazix, An Intergraph Company
Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 18:57:24 GMT

I was having a bit of a chat with my sister recently.  I was saying that
in my social circle, most men were not particularly interested in having
kids, and the ones who had them, had them (in part) due to the insistence
of the woman.  However, my sister said that most of her friends who had
kids had them at the insistence of their husbands.  Furthermore, those
men were happy to take care of the kids (all aspects) anytime that they
were home and available to do so (suprising).

What is the experience of netters out there on this issue?  Who is the
'instigator' of the 'fruitful multiplication' going on that you see?

Also, on a related note, are there many folks out there who don't desire
children ... ever?  I just don't understand the instinct to have one (or
more).  I realize people *do* have that instinct.  I accept that.  It's
just that I don't.   I could see myself participating in a big brother
type of thing, but if I can avoid it, I would like never to have one of
my own.

My feelings have been described as immaturity by some, but I'd like to
feel that I am not alone here.  Others say that I will someday change my
mind, but they have been telling me that since I was 20 (thirteen years
ago).
From: kms@adpgate.UUCP (Tina Sansom)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Help with a present
Date: 13 Oct 92 23:52:37 GMT
Article-I.D.: doral.1626
Organization: ADP Dealer Services R&D, Portland, OR

bwwoodco@nyx.cs.du.edu (bryan woodcock) writes:
: Hello, I am a 19 years old and am deeply in love (I guess you would call it
: love considering that I have never truly felt this way before). My
: girlfriend is 18 and we are in college (so we are broke). I am looking for
: a GOOD present to give her for our two month anniversary (I know two
: months doesn't really count). I gave her six red roses for our first month.
:     
: I really love this girl, and I want to surprise her, please please help
: me!!!!!
: 
: Bryan wayne Woodcock

Sorry to repeat all this, but it was short.

When my boyfriend (hate that word, but can't think of another) and I got
together, we were broke and terribly in love too--

He gave me a wonderful gift.  A quiet evening at home in a box.  (We had
a long distance relationship at that time.)  He gave me a good book (your
choice--His was _Illusions_ by Richard Bach), a tape of good music (again,
your choice--I got Peter, Paul, and Mary, which I love), some time (a bottle
of thyme from the grocery store), a friend to enjoy it with (a stuffed Pooh
bear that is still on my computer at home), and a candle in a holder.

It was wonderful, and now that we're together for three years, richer, and
living in the same place, it's still the most thoughtful gift I've ever
received.

Good luck coming up with your own variation of the above.  I also have a
cassette tape I treasure of songs that are special to us, that he made
for me.

--Kristina