From: jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer)
Subject: Summary Thu 12/31/92
Summary: Unofficial Summary for Thursday, Dec. 31, 1992 REPOST
Keywords: Unofficial Summary Rush Limbaugh
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Distribution: world,usa,alt,na
Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1993 17:34:24 GMT

Unofficial Summary of the Rush Limbaugh Show

for Thursday, December 31, 1992

by John Switzer

NOTE: This is being posted to both alt.fan.rush-limbaugh and
alt.rush-limbaugh and thus you may see it twice if your sysadm
aliases the two newsgroups together. Since most sites don't
support both groups, this double-posting appears to be
unavoidable, however, if anyone has any ideas on how to avoid it,
please let me know. Thanks - jrs@netcom.com.

This unofficial summary is copyright (c) 1992 by John Switzer.
All Rights Reserved. These summaries are distributed on
CompuServe, GEnie, and the Internet, and archived on GEnie (NPC
Roundtable) and Internet (cathouse.aiss.uiuc.edu).  Distribution
to other electronic forums and bulletin boards is highly
encouraged. Spelling and other corrections gratefully received.

Please read the standard disclaimer which was included with the
first summary for this month. In particular, please note that
this summary is not approved or sanctioned by Rush Limbaugh or
the EIB network, nor do I have any connection with them other
than as a daily listener.

******************************************************************

December 31, 1992

LIMBAUGH WATCH

December 31, 1992 - It's now 59 days after Bill Clinton's
election and Rush is still on the air with 546 radio affiliates
and 207 TV affiliates, and his book has been on the NY Times
hardback non-fiction best-seller list for 15 consecutive weeks
and is currently number one on the list.

MORNING UPDATE

<<Today's Morning Update was originally broadcast on Wednesday,
September 16, 1992>>

Update  Homeless         (Clarence "Frogman" Henry, "Ain't Got No
Home")

Santa Monica, like so many other American towns, has been overrun
by the homeless, who have taken over city parks and other public
places with their unruly behavior. The people of Santa Monica,
though, finally got tired of this and they instructed the City
Attorney Robert Myers to start drafting and enforcing laws to end
this usurpation of public property.

Myers, however, refused to draft an ordinance to regulate camping
in city parks and other areas. When the city hired outside
attorneys to draft the ordinance, Myers then refused to enforce
it. The Santa Monica City Council voted 6 to 1 last week to fire
Myers, who is claiming that he was ousted because "I refuse to
compromise my principles and use the power of my office to hurt
the poor people in our community."

Rush replies "No, Mr. Myers, you weren't fired for any liberal
gobbledegook. You were fired because you are wrong."

<<Because Rush is on vacation until January 4th, today's show is
a "Best of Rush" show. The first hour is the first hour of the
show originally broadcast on Tuesday, January 7, 1992>>

FIRST HOUR

Items

o       Rush is a rotten mood. The EIB staff asks "again?" and
"still?" Rush tells them "don't make me laugh! I want to stay
rotten!" Rush warns the audience "it'll be a great show, folks -
stick around; but I won't blame you if you don't!"

o       Rush is tired of hearing conservatives being asked by the
media "What's the difference between you and David Duke?" Rush
has found that Richard Gephardt's position on foreign trade and
import restrictions is almost identical to those of David Duke;
Gephardt is far closer to Duke on this matter than any
Republican.

o       Rush mentions that he is still pushing for the first
woman's holiday to be on Mary Jo Kopechne's birthday, since she
gave her life to keep Ted Kennedy out of the White House. He
recalls the fake ad that appeared in National Lampoon that showed
a VW in the water with the caption "If Ted Kennedy had been
driving a Volkswagen, he would be President today."

VW sued over the ad; however, they now have another problem - the
California man who led police on a high speed chase for 300 miles
was driving a VW Cabriollet. What a dilemma for VW - they have a
great car, one that was stopped only by shooting the driver, but
they can't use the story in an ad.

o       AT&T will be selling picture-phones in April for about
$1500. The scan rate is slow, though, resulting in mildly jerky
movements. Rush recalls that when he was a DJ, he played a
running gag based on picture-phones. For a week he told his
listeners that his radio station was installing some picture
phones.

He then surreptitiously checked out a saleswoman at Gambles and
called her while on the air. He managed to convince her that he
was using a picture phone by using a spy in the store. He then
told her that he needed some slips for his girlfriend and had her
hold them up to the phone.

Rush continued the picture-phone gag for weeks, and even had a
female friend call up pretending to be a disbelieving caller who
then screamed in "horror" when Rush told her what she was and was
not wearing while in her bedroom.

Anyway, AT&T's phones only work if one is on both ends, so it's a
minimum $3000 cost. However, the added dimension of pictures
means that some new etiquette will have to be developed for
talking on the phone;

*BREAK*

Items

o       73% of the American people believe that JFK's
assassination was a conspiracy and that the truth has not yet
been told. Rush points out that a conspiracy can exist with only
two people, but he believes that the real forces behind the
assassination were Castro and the mob. However, Stone's theory is
just a bunch of "bunk" and is based on his own hatred of America.
However, to put this in perspective, "72%" of Americans still
believe Elvis is alive.

o       Another postal worker has run amuck - a New York postal
worker was accused of maiming a cat and was found guilty of
"disorderly conduct." He's suspected of having harmed perhaps 100
missing cats. Rush warns that America should watch out for this
guy if he gets fired, and he suspects that there is a lot of idle
time on postal workers' hands. This is not to say that there
aren't great postal workers, because they are out there; however,
"facts are facts, and curiosities are curiosities."

*BREAK*

Item

o       Rush will be appearing tonight on Charlie Rose's PBS
show. However, the show is local to New York. Rush will be on the
second segment.

Phone   Adam from Greenville, SC

Adam is at present unemployed and thinks that Rush's show should
be played in unemployment offices, because it would inspire
people and make the time pass more quickly. Adam also has an idea
about a food product that is related to condoms, and which was
inspired by the McJordan burger which is sold in Chicago
McDonalds.

Rush screens the call first. Rush calls the idea "absolutely
sick," and although he's laughing heartily at it he isn't sure he
can play the idea on the air. The EIB staff encourages Rush to do
it, and so Rush issues a warning - if you're easily offended
about condoms and food, turn the radio off <<or skip past the
next paragraph>>.

Rush admits that this idea will come in the midst of the lunch
hour for many people, and so he begins a five second countdown,
again warning those who might be squeamish that they should tune
out. Adam then says that if he had a fast food restaurant, he
would sell a "Johnson Weenie," and you would get a free condom
with purchase. His slogan would be "it's not the magic that's in
the weinie, but what's on it." Rush thanks Adam for his
contribution to the show.

*BREAK*

Phone   John from Sioux City, IA

John is also unemployed - he graduated from college in 1990, but
has had only a temporary job in his chosen field of accounting.
Rush tells him that the changes in the tax code will make sure
that accountants will always have a job. John also thinks that
since the Japanese have shut American products out of their
markets that the US should restrict Japanese products.

Rush reads part of the Japanese prime minister's welcome to Bush
in which he says "it's about time we reward this friendship [with
the US]." John thinks that the Japanese will simply say that they
intend to open their markets, but will drag out negotiations for
years.

Rush asks John what he thinks he should do to stop this - opening
the Japanese markets doesn't guarantee that the Japanese will buy
American products. John, though, thinks that it's not the
Japanese market that's important, but the US's and that the US
should close off Japanese imports. Rush tells John that "you
should like David Duke" - he then realizes that this accusation
would be a "great way to kill this idea" of closing off American
markets. Rush tells John that the problem in America is that
American consumers perceive Japanese cars to be of better
quality; also, though, the Japanese simply do a better job
marketing than American companies.

Rush also says that Gephardt has been on television all week
saying false things - for example, Gephardt claims that the US is
selling cars well in Europe, but this is not the case. US exports
to Europe do not have that big a market share and Rush will share
this information during the next hour.

Rush lets Bo do another Rush III video commercial, and once again
does voice-overs saying "It's better than Dances with Wolves,"
"Better than Platoon," and continues with the name of every movie
Oliver Stone has made. Rush ends up with the subliminal
imperative "Buy the tape."

*BREAK*

Phone   Glen from Las Cruces, NM

Glen gives "superlative dittos from the economic armpit of the
nation." Glen wants to talk about the state of the economy and
mentions a study that revealed the Las Cruces job market came in
third in the state, but did so without any increase in jobs. Las
Cruces simply kept its jobs while other cities lost thousands of
them.

Rush mentions an article given to him by Bo that was in the Los
Angeles Times - "The Rich Got Richer in the '80s." Rush reads the
article, though, which reveals that the middle class shrank
because more people moved into the upper classes. This study is
from the Cato Institute and disproves the myth that the middle
class suffered because more of them fell into poverty; Rush
praises the results of the '80s and points out "that you have to
create wealth before you can redistribute it."

*BREAK*

<<The second hour of today's show is the third hour from the show
originally broadcast on Thursday, May 28, 1992>>

SECOND HOUR

Items

o       The May 17th issue of the Houston Post reports that when
Perot <<"When Johnny Comes Marching Home" starts>> took his
signature petitions to Austin, TX, he and his supporters took
along 90 boxes labelled "Perot - Now There's a Choice." However,
only 19 boxes actually contained the 200,000 petitions, while the
remaining 71 boxes were just for show. Rush is "certain" that
Perot meant no deception, but just ended up with excess boxes and
decided not to let them go to waste.

Roger Ailes commented that he saw Perot being interviewed on TV;
during the interview, Perot brought out a sheaf of papers from
his safe and says "it's all right here - it's over for George
Bush." Perot didn't let the reporter see the information, though,
and instead put it right back into his safe. Rush calls this
"pretty slick."

o       George Will has written a column about Perot. <<And the
music still continues - it is starting to take its toll on Rush,
though. The song breaks Rush's train of thought, and he asks the
staff to turn it up. As they do so, he starts singing along.>>
Will's column should say "Rush Limbaugh said this two months
ago." Will writes that if a President is inadequate, then the
country goes into stasis, if not outright decline. He says that
Bush is a mediocre President, but most US Presidents have been
mediocre.

What's new this year, according to Will, is the notion that the
country can be held hostage by the lack of genius in its
President. Will says that the country's perception of genius in
Perot is "pathetic," and he refers to Perot as "that political
inkblot." His main point is that many people are taking
themselves out of the equation when they try to make the country
function.

Rush said this on the MacNeil/Lehrer show <<music stops - phew>>
in March; he stated that he was amazed at the hope that people
were putting in their politicians. He pointed out that no
politician or policy was responsible for reviving the economy and
ending the recession. It was the action of the people themselves
that fixed the economy.

The real troubling thing is that many people feel impotent until
their candidate becomes President. They have abandoned self-
reliance in favor of becoming serfs to the federal government.
Rush recalls that the people have been most inspired by those
candidates who promise to reduce the influence of the government,
and to get it out of the people's lives.

Update  Animal Rights         (Andy Williams, "Born Free" with
gratuitous sound effects)

Once again, man has been subjugated to the "rights" of animals.
Rush recalls how a couple of years ago, an Idaho town of 24
people was destroyed to make room for a new highway. Now, though,
a 90 home luxury home development in Hurricane, UT has been
stopped because five rare male desert tortoises have taken up
residence in the area. The turtles, which are looking for mates,
cannot be touched or moved under the terms of the Endangered
Species Act.

Rush hopes that this Act is either modified or allowed to expire.
He wonders how the scientists know the tortoises are looking for
mates; and if they are, then why are the animals doing it in a
group of five? A survey was done two years ago however, and no
tortoises were found.

Rush bets, though, that if this were a public housing project,
the turtles would have been squashed under a bulldozer in no time
flat. However, it does seem obvious to him that the tortoises had
to have been somewhere near, given that tortoises are slow-moving
creatures - "they just don't show up overnight." He doesn't
understand why the animals can't be picked up and moved to the
other side of the road.

*BREAK*

Rush thought he understand the New York crowd who is promoting
condoms in schools, but now he isn't sure. Yesterday, the NYC
school board voted 4 to 3 to change the sex education curriculum
so that abstinence is stressed as the best protection against
AIDS whenever the disease is discussed. Rush thinks that this is
an obvious point that really doesn't need to be debated.

The narrow margins of the school board's vote, though, along with
the opposition of Chancellor Joseph Fernandez, makes Rush wonder
what the pro-condom forces' real agenda is. Fernandez claimed
that stressing abstinence will turn back the clock on the AIDS
programs already implemented. He said "I beg the Board to think
about what they are doing here because this will undermine the
program that we have put in place. We have a quality program and
this is just going to go against it."

Now that the board has approved the proposal, every discussion of
AIDS will have to emphasize abstinence over safe sex. Rush
wonders what is wrong with this - the schools are not prohibited
from teaching about condoms or safe sex. Complaining about the
teaching of abstinence is like complaining that kids in drug
classes are told not to do drugs. This simply doesn't make any
sense. Rush used to think that he understood the logic and agenda
of the pro-condom crowd, but now he believes that he was too
lenient; the opposition to abstinence is "hideous."

Mike Mamone and Bo Snerdley suggest a possible reason for the
opposition to teaching of abstinence: Fernandez obviously
believes that AIDS was created by the CIA to destroy blacks, and
thus teaching abstinence is using reverse psychology. By teaching
kids not to have sex, they will go out and have it more often,
and thus catch and spread AIDS more rapidly. Thus, Fernandez is
only opposing the evil policies of "Ronald Reagan, George Bush,
Daryl Gates, and Rush Limbaugh."

Rush sighs and comments "I've got a great staff here, folks."

*BREAK*

Phone   Rodney from Glendale, CA

Rodney wants Rush to untie the other half of his brain to deal
with his question. Rodney first heard about tax reform via a flat
tax and national sales tax from Pat Buchanan. Next, Brown
mentioned the flat tax, but "he was way out in the weeds about
it." Rush comments that Brown "was right at home." Rodney has now
seen an article in Time magazine which reports that the "alleged
candidate" wants to get rid of the IRS and start "with a clean
slate." He wonders if this is going to be a real issue.

Rush says that if anyone really thinks that the IRS is going to
be abolished, he will call the "men in the white coats" to pick
them up. Rush does not need to untie the other half of his brain,
though, to deal with this question, which he calls a "good
question." This issue is one major reason why the House of
Representatives has to be given a thorough cleaning in November.

The US Tax Code is the biggest source of power for Congress, and
it is used primarily for the redistribution of wealth and to
change the social architecture. Rush asks if Ross Perot <<music
starts>> will be able to go to Washington and getting any of his
proposed changes approved by the current House of
Representatives.

Even if Perot wins really big, and he has an unshakable mandate,
he will still face a huge battle with the current Congress.
Rodney agrees, but thinks that the operative term is "current";
if a bunch of new members are elected, that should have an
effect. Rush agrees, but points out that even if Dan Rostenkowski
doesn't come back, there will still be liberal Democrats in
charge of the House.

He points out that liberal Democrats are empowered by having all
the more people dependent on the government and its give-away
programs. The tax code is the most powerful tool that Congress
has to stop prosperity and create more dependence. He points to
the 1990 Budget Deal which severely deepened the recession and
created the largest budget deficit ever.

Everything revolves around money, and people no longer get to
keep as much as they used to. Thus, Rodney is in effect expecting
liberal Democrats to disempower themselves if he is expecting
major, voluntary changes in the tax code. If this is ever going
to be done, it will take a fight.

Rush would love to see the tax code changed and simplified.
However, realistically not even Perot <<music starts>> can do
this by himself. This is why he encourages Perot's supporters to
also focus on Congress as well as the Presidency.

Rodney agrees, and he asks Rush who is charge in the EIB offices
since Rush has asked his staff to stop playing the song, yet they
continue to do so. In his best Perot voice, Rush says "we're a
united team here, a united effort." Rodney asks if Rush dies, is
there a vice president who can take over; Rush responds "no,
there are only a lot of people who think they can do this job."

Phone   Bob from Stuart, FL

Bob asks Rush about the liberal bias in education, and why any
intelligent, upwardly mobile person would choose education as
their career? Rush has wondered about this whenever teachers go
on strike; teachers know that they aren't going to get rich when
they enter the field, and thus why do they go on strike?

He thinks, though, that teachers have a mixture of motivations -
some people are really good at teaching and are dedicated to it;
others couldn't figure out any other major; some people love kids
and want to be around them.

Rush is not certain if the two situations are similar, but when
journalism students are asked why they are in school, they reply
that they want to make the world a better place. When asked why
they choose journalism for this effort, they say that journalists
have the responsibility to ensure justice throughout the world.
These people don't view journalism only as reporting the events,
but also affecting and guiding them. For example, Time magazine
has not only been reporting on the Earth Summit and the
environment, but they have become advocates because "the
environment is so important." Time's subscription numbers fell
accordingly.

Rush asks Bob if the thinks a similar thing is going on in
schools - are these teachers going into the profession so that
they can influence kids to become "good commie-libs?" Bob thinks
that this does happen, and he doubts that anyone could talk to
any group of people without putting their agenda in, at least
partially.

Rush interrupts Bob because "a major event" has occurred that
will shock and sadden his audience. Rush sighs and says that the
mountain gorilla Mrithi, who was the star of the movie "Gorilla
in the Mists," has been killed by gunfire in Rwanda. Diana E.
McMeekan, president of the African Wildlife Foundation, said "he
was the first gorilla who has ever touched me."

Rush hates to have to share this horrible news, and the EIB staff
does their part to show the anger among the world's animals by
cueing up sounds of animals screaming their outrage - wild pigs
grunting, dogs barking, horses neighing, cats yowling, and
monkeys doing whatever it is that monkeys do.

Rush bets that the animals are burning down the forests in
Rwanda, and are claiming that Daryl Gates was responsible. They
undoubtedly will ask for help from Maxine Walters and Jesse
Jackson. The World Wildlife Fund allegedly said that the gorilla
was the first gorilla victim of the battle between the Rwandan
government and the LAPD. Rush hasn't seen any comment from
Sigourney Weaver, but he is interested in hearing what she has to
say when she learns that she was not the star of the movie
"Gorillas in the Mist."

*BREAK*

Phone   Bob from Stuart, FL (continued)

Rush apologizes for interrupting Bob, but Bob understands that
this was an important story. Bob thinks that the people who go
into teaching inevitably interject their own opinions, and he
thinks that standards have to improve in order to attract better
people to the profession.

Rush says that it's obvious that bias in teaching happens in
college, and many parents are worried about this in their
elementary and high schools; this is one of the reasons home
schooling is getting more and more popular. Parents don't like
teachers telling their children that if their dad gets fired,
they'll become homeless and have to live under a tree in Santa
Barbara.

Phone   Susan from Halstead, KS

Susan wonders if Rush is really as arrogant as he seems. Rush
replies that he's not arrogant, but only confident. He asks her
for a few examples, but she is too nervous to immediately reply.
Rush comments that he will send her a Rush Relaxer, and will talk
to her after the break.

*BREAK*

Phone   Susan from Halstead, KS (continued)

Susan thinks that Rush is arrogant because he's always claiming
to be the first person who says something, but he's ignoring the
fact that his listeners may already be thinking the exact same
thing. Rush admits that Susan has a point, and he decides to be
"piercingly honest" - he is very proud of his show and his
performance on it. During the past two years, he has been
incredibly accurate in his comments and predictions, yet nobody
in the regular media is mentioning his accuracy. Perhaps what
Susan considers to be arrogance is only Rush's own insecurity.

Susan says that this may be possible, but will have to think
about it some more. Rush encourages her to do so as "things are
not what they seem." Rush, though, is serious about this point -
"I'm proud and I want people to know, and I figure that you won't
know unless I tell you - who else will?"

*BREAK*

<<The third hour of today's show is the first hour from the show
originally broadcast on Wednesday, June 10, 1992>>

THIRD HOUR

Items

o       Rush is in a bad mood today - not only does he have to
deal with idiots, but he's on drugs because of the pain from his
dental work. He also can't stand being confronted with
incompetence, especially when people say they will do something
and don't follow through. The EIB staff wonders if Rush is
talking about them, but he says no, it's not them; the staff
issues a collective sigh of relief. From the hints Rush is
dropping, it appears that he is angry with his "tofu-tongued
computer consultants."

o       Rush didn't get around yesterday to mentioning Brazilian
Indian chief Paolino Payakin <<note - if this name is spelled
correctly, it is only by the grace of a kind and merciful God>>,
who has been praised by environmentalists as the savior of the
planet Earth. Payakin is now being sought on rape charges, and
Rush promises to explain more during today's show.

o       Pat Robertson, in what is good news for liberals, has
decided not to buy United Press International because "the
economics do not make good sense." Rush wonders if the liberals
who now work at UPI will breathe a sigh of relief and say "now we
don't have to worry about a religious conservative owning our
organization; instead, we can start collecting unemployment."

This is timely news because Congress has passed its third
extension of unemployment benefits, at the tune of $5.8 billion;
this, of course, violates the 1990 budget deal since it is
spending new money. Rush has no doubt that the unemployment
program is founded on good intentions, but over time it keeps
growing and growing until a new dependency class of people are
created. Supposedly, Congress' latest action is only a one-time
extension of benefits yet it is the third time such a "one-time"
extension has been passed.

o       Corporate America can expect its first increase in
profits in four years, according to a survey of 50 economists
done by Blue Chip Economic Indicators. Profits are expected to
jump 16% this year. Rush attacks these businesses for having the
insensitivity to have profits while people are still out of work.

This news coincides nicely with the news about pay parity between
blacks and whites in Queens. The media, though, is ignoring this
positive news and instead concentrates on negatives. Part of this
negativity, however, is due to this being an election year, and
as such the incumbent President is always attacked by reports on
how bad the country is doing. Bush, however, should be stressing
the positive news.

o       The pregnancy of a Filipino man that was widely reported
last month has turned out to be a hoax. Rush didn't believe the
story, thus confirming the accuracy of his instincts. The
Filipino man, who was a gay nurse, has since disappeared; a full
medical exam of the man wasn't even performed before doctors
"confirmed" his claims.

Rush comments on the gullibility of people, and contrasts this
story with the story that many other people believe - that a
groundswell presidential organization can instantly appear after
somebody appears on a talk show on cable TV.

o       The Super Soaker Water Guns are now considered a hazard
by many people. The water guns, which are air powered, have been
involved in a number of real shootings - kids get the wrong
people wet, and they respond by shooting a real gun. Thus, many
people are now calling for a ban on water guns; Rush says that
this clearly illustrates why water should be a controlled
substance, since it is "obviously" such a danger to innocent
people. The National Water Rifle Association, though, is not
going to allow water gun control because "guns don't squirt
people, water does." Water is therefore the problem.

However, some proponents of the water gun ban contend that these
squirters look "too much like real guns"; Rush "agrees" - "every
gun is day-glo orange or bright red or bright yellow, with huge
bulbous water tanks on top. I've seen them every day." Rush was
even in a convenience store once when it was held up by a Glock 9
millimeter with a water tank on top.

However, since this problem is especially bad in New York City,
Rush thinks he should do something to help the city, to give
something back to the city that is his home. Rush and EIB
therefore have decided to offer an amnesty program to encourage
kids to send these dangerous weapons to EIB, which will then keep
them off the streets. These programs have worked in Los Angeles
and St. Louis, and almost have worked in NYC, so Rush announces
his own program:

He will give out a Rush Limbaugh signature mug for every Super
Soaker turned into the EIB offices by Friday. This valuable mug
is, of course, more valuable than cash, and Rush has not doubt
that this deal will meet with tremendous success. An EIB staff
member comes in with an "elephant squirt gun" and he has a great
time squirting his microphone and members of his staff.

*BREAK*

Items

o       Rush plays some new bumper music and remarks that it
reminds him of the fall of 1982, when he ended up at a
Renaissance Festival with his fiance. Rush didn't particularly
enjoy standing being outdoors in the heat, but there was an NFL
players strike going on. Rush hopes that the rest of his new
bumper music brings back memories "as happy" as that one.

o       One of the many controversies going on about the
Democrats' upcoming national convention next month concerns a
replica jersey worn by former NBA player Bill Bradley which is
hanging in Madison Square Gardens. Some Democrats are concerned
that this will give Bradley an unfair advantage in the quest for
the Vice Presidential nomination; or, should Clinton somehow slip
up, Bradley might even be given an unfair advantage for the
Presidential nomination. Thus, the Democrats are trying to get
the jersey pulled down during the week of the convention.

Rush says that it is amazing that the Democrats are even
considering the possibility of having Bradley on the 1992 ticket,
as either President or VP. Bradley is just as dull as Clinton,
and barely won his Senate reelection race.

*BREAK*

Phone   John from San Francisco, CA

John hasn't been able to listen to Rush for two years, but he
thinks Rush has become "Bush Limbaugh" and has "sold out to the
administration." John feels that Rush is now so rich that he's
become alienated from the 40% of his audience who is going to
vote for Perot <<music starts>> and "knock the pants off of Bush
and all you administration lackeys - the once maverick, the once
advocate of every Reagan Democrat in the nation, you've sold out
to the Bush man. And I'm here to call you back into the fold,
Rush, and tell you not to underestimate the power of Perot."

Rush is amazed that John hasn't listened to his show for two
years, yet believes that he has Rush all figured out. John still
thinks that Rush is now a Bush flunky; even though Rush hasn't
publicly committed to Bush, he still hammers on the point that
Bush's Supreme Court appointments are a reason to keep the
current administration.

Rush admits that he believes the most important issue to him in
this election is the current culture war. Even if the country has
all the experts it needs to solve its economic problems, the
country still requires a fundamental underpinning of morality and
values; otherwise, all will be in vain. Democracy must be based
on an understanding of what is right and wrong.

John thinks Perot's town hall shows how far ahead of his time he
is right now; it would allow the nation's morality "to be
contained in the individual voters - the way to do this is
through the churches and civic groups." Rush strenuously
disagrees, and says that morality cannot be defined by the
individual. John claims that this was the way the nation was,
before its current institutions, by electing local leaders.

Rush says that this is not what John is talking about - an
electronic town hall has nothing to do with electing leaders, but
with individuals voting on the legislation. The US is not a
democracy, but a representative republic. John laughs
sarcastically and says that he's disappointed how Rush has
retreated from conservative issues.

Rush tells him that Perot is no conservative, and John agrees.
However, he is willing to support Perot because he is concerned
about economic issues and is willing to accept the Supreme Court
as it exists today. The most important problem is the deficit,
and Perot is willing to make this his number one issue. John
would rather trust Perot than the "old cog, Bush."

Rush doesn't disagree that economics is the driving issue of this
election, but this is nothing new. Economics have always driven
elections. But why should Rush have to support Perot just because
40% of the electorate is supporting him? Why should Rush be any
less of a revolutionary just because he is not getting on the
Perot bandwagon?

John thinks it sounded that Rush was mocking Perot's supporters
yesterday by reading the excerpts from the Bob Morris column.
Rush states that just because he read a column does not mean that
he agrees with it all; the main point of Morris' column was his
comments about how Perot's campaign could not have happened
overnight.

Even though Morris ridiculed Perot's supporters, Rush has not; he
has made a point of not making fun of Perot's people, and has
gone to great lengths to do just the opposite. John accepts that,
but thinks that it doesn't matter whether Perot had has campaign
planned for years or not; the most important thing is that a lot
of people are liking what he has to say.

Rush wonders what Perot is saying, and John replies that Perot is
saying that he's an effective leader, who has achieved success
through strong motivation, team building, hard work, and
integrity. Perot has demonstrated his ability through his own
companies, through his involvement in Texas politics, and with
his highly visible rescue of his employees who were stuck in
Iran. This, for a lot of people, is enough; a lot of people don't
want any more specifics than this. Rush agrees that many people
do not want specifics, and that Perot may suffer a drop in
popularity if he does get more specific.

*BREAK*

To promote his amnesty program for Super Squirters, Rush plays a
new public service announcement:

"New York City - murder, drugs, crime. Now a new menace is
stalking the streets of the Big Apple - high-powered, fully
automatic assault squirt guns. On every street corner, even the
youngest child has access to a wide range of water weaponry. From
tiny, easily concealable 79 cent Saturday Night Special Squirters
to 30 dollar state-of-the-art aquatic armaments like `the Super
Soaker.'

"There is no reason for the average citizen to own a squirt gun
that can be loaded with over two liters of water. There is no
legitimate sporting purpose to such a weapon. Now, in its
continuing effort to keep America safer and drier, the EIB
network offers its `Squirt Gun Amnesty Program.' Send your Super
Soaker to the EIB Network, c/o Rush Limbaugh, 2 Penn Plaza, New
York, NY 10121, and you'll receive in return a Rush Limbaugh,
14-carat gold-lettered signature mug. Another public service of
the EIB network."

Rush again comments that this offer is good only on Super Soakers
received at EIB by this Friday. He wants this to happen quickly
so that no Democrat gets squirted during next month's convention.
In addition, to show EIB's compassion, concern, and quest for
peace, EIB is going to fill the Super Soakers with water and send
them to drought-stricken Sudan, which is experiencing a civil
war. The Sudanese can therefore replace their weapons of death
with Super Soakers, and quench each other's thirsts as well as
transform their land into a paradise. Rush asks "what more could
a network do?"

*BREAK*

Phone   Richard from Milledgeville, GA

Richard thinks Rush has missed the politically correct solution
to the water gun problem. The problem is not similar to gun
control; instead, kids are involved and they are going to do it,
no matter what anybody does. Thus, schools have to make squirt
guns safe for these kids by providing Bungee model condoms for
each and every squirt gun, up to and including the Super Soaker.

Rush says that the problem with this is that the schools are out
of session right now - how are the condoms going to be
distributed? Richard suggests that "Water Gun Nation" could stand
on street corners and hand out the special condoms. Rush thinks
that the Water Gun Coalition to Unleash Splashes would be a
better choice for this job. Richard agrees and adds "we don't
want the Democrats getting soaked - it's supposed to work the
other way."

Rush likes that type of thinking, and says that he hadn't
realized how far-reaching the problem really is. He thanks
Richard for bringing these aspects of the problem to his
attention, and thinks he may even have to bring in Squirt Up to
help him with the logistics of all this. Of course, this program
must also be exported to Japan so that liberalism can ruin their
businesses as much as it has those in the US. Obviously, the idea
should be "make them all wet, all the time."
-- 
John Switzer               | "What we have here is a failure to 
                           | masticate."
Compuserve: 74076,1250     | -- MST3K's Dr. Clayton "Firebrand" Forrester, 
Internet: jrs@netcom.com   | after TV's Frank is unable to eat his 13th turkey.
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,talk.politics.misc