HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: coleman@susie.cs.scarolina.edu (Kevin Coleman)
Subject: Re: Leave Barry Bonds Alone!!
Organization: USC  Department of Computer Science
Date: 15 Oct 92 06:28:05 GMT


James Francis Thomas <jt2t+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:

>Over the past few weeks I have read how Barry Bonds doesn't deserve to
>be the MVP because he hasn't performed well in the NLCS.  
>I think that you idiots are all wrong.

>A.  Bonds never gets any good pitches.
>B.  Bonds broke his "slump" with a game winning RBI double in game #5
>C.  Bonds prevented what could have been a big inning for the Braves by 
>  chasing down a long fly ball hit by Gant.
>D.  A team wins and a team loses not individuals.
>E.  The Pirates as a team sucked in their losses.
>D.  There are still two more games to play, and Barry is starting to shine. 

>Based on your arguements over the past few weeks, many of you out there
>claim that Terry should be the MVP.  Maybe we should start a TERRYWATCH
>since he hit a whopping .185(not sure exactly on this figure) last year,
>and I believe he just broke the National League record with the number
>of hits he got against the Pirates in Pittsburgh, not.  I guess its ok
>to slam Barry for not hitting, but when Pendleton goes 1-13 no one seems
>to care.  

>Quit picking on Bonds, unless of course you can play baseball better
>than he, and enjoy the rest of the series.  I would like to see
>Pittsburgh win this thing, but if they don't, I'm not going to blame it
>on Bonds, or any other player on the Pirates organization.  Sure its
>going to be a disappoint if they don't make it to the World Series, but
>its great seeing the Pirates in the NLCS.  This is sure better than
>about six years ago when the Pirates lost 90 games instead of winning
>90. 

>Jim Thomas

While I completely and wholeheartedly agree with every ounce of this, I also    think that people are missing a much more important point:\

		MVP AWARDS ARE _NOT_ BASED UPON POST-SEASON STATS!!!!

They are supposed to _only_ be judged upon their regular-season performance, in
order to be fair to those players that might have had excellent, MVP-type years,yet are not fortunate enough to be on one of the four teams that make it to 
post-season play. So, while you may not like the way Barry Bonds has performed
in post-season games (and I think tonight's performance should shut-up much of
that nonsensical jabbering), it doesn't make a bit of difference as far as the
MVP is concerned. Regardless of how he does in the Playoffs, Bonds was still themost valuable player in the regular season, period. Just look at the numbers.

Kevin
coleman@susie.cs.scarolina.edu

Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
From: tedward@cs.cornell.edu (Edward [Ted] Fischer)
Subject: Re: Designated Hitter Rule (was Australian Novice Asks Dumb Questions)
Organization: Cornell Univ. CS Dept, Ithaca NY 14853
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 16:55:31 GMT

In article <1992Oct13.161634.3979@news.uiowa.edu> saevans@icaen.uiowa.edu writes:
>
>> But does the AL DH rule *require* that the pitcher not bat?  Could
>> either (1) All nine fielders bat or (2) the designated hitter bat in
>> the place of one of the other non-pitching fielders?
>
>The rule as I understand it is that it doesn't need to be the pitcher.  As
>an addendum, the designated hitter can go out and play in the field, but as
>soon as he does this, the team can no longer use the designated hitter for
>the rest of the game.

This is wrong.  It may work that way in college baseball, but in the
majors you can *only* DH for the pitcher.  (The second half is
correct.  The DH can take the field, at the expense of losing the DH
for the rest of the game.)

-Valentine
-- 
Make outs, not walks!					tedward@cs.cornell.edu
Clemens four Cy Young!
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
From: kbos@carina.unm.edu (Kurt "Some Guy" Bose)
Subject: Braves Win, Go to Series against Jays...
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 92 04:04:54 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

Just for the record, I was screaming "Get Skippy away from that ^$%$@ pitcher's
mound"  even before he threw his first pitch.

Goodbye, all.  I'll be back when the woofing dies down.  Say, February?

(No, I'm not a Pittsburgh fan.  It's just that this woofing seems so...rec.
 sport.footballish...)

(In fact, I'm even embarrassed to hear Redskin woofers...)

-- 
Kurt Bose (as in Daisy, not Rose) * kbos@carina.unm.edu * Make outs, not walks!
Keeper of the R.S.BB FAQ, and Junior Stathead {tm} * Maintainer, R.S.BB Archive
Be kind. Don't flame the mediots. * Look, stupid comments are funny!'-R. Lustig
I'd rather see Doug Dascenzo pitch than suffer through John Burkett's batting..
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
From: nissim@mary.fordham.edu (Leonard J. Nissim)
Subject: greatest post-season 1-game come-back (history)
Organization: Fordham University
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 21:50:00 GMT
X-Posted-From: mary.fordham.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: sol.ctr.columbia.edu

After the Blue Jays staged their admirable 5-run come-back in the 8th and 
9th innings (to tie 6-6 after nine, having trailed 6-1 after seven), the 
announcers seemed to make an error in calling it the greatest post-season
come-back ever.  They then correctly said it was the greatest post-season
come-back ever, *in the 8th inning or later*.  If anyone cares what the 
greatest post-season come-back ever was, it was a ten-run inning to come back 
from an 8-run deficit.  The team which achieved this was the Athletics, then 
in Philadelphia; the victims were the Cubs: 

Game Four, 1929 World Series, played October 12, 1929:
                                       R  H E
Chicago Cubs           000 205   1 00- 8 10 2
Philadelphia Athletics 000 000 (10)00-10 15 2

Outfielder Hack Wilson lost two fly balls in the sun to hurt his Cubs' cause 
in that inning.  (But he batted .471--8 for 17--in the series.)

P.S. In game five, the Cubs led 2-0 going into the bottom of the ninth
inning, but the A's scored 3 runs to win the game and end the series, 
winning four games to one.  Do you suppose anyone thought a 2-run lead 
was safe?  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leonard Nissim, notorious Dodger fanatic     (nissim@mary.fordham.edu)  
Disclaimer:  "I speak only for myself."   
World Championships:  Brooklyn-----1955   
                      Los Angeles--1959  1963  1965  1981  1988
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 15:30:17 EDT
From: <RAP115@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: BRAVES (JINX) WILL LOSE

Sorry to all Braves fans, but you can declare the Blue Jays as baseball's
1992 World Series Champions?  Why?  For the past 7 consecutive years, the team
I have predicted to win the World Series has lost, and I have just predicted
that the Braves will win the World Series this year.  So, all you Jays fans,
rejoice.  Consequently, I have correctly predicted the Super Bowl winner the
past eight seasons.  Look for a correct prediction from me in January.
-The expert
perdicter
(in football)
From: rickc@wrigley.corp.sgi.com (Richard Casares)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Re: The origin of the _World_ Series
Keywords: history world series trivia newspaper
Date: 15 Oct 92 19:30:45 GMT
Article-I.D.: odin.1992Oct15.193045.18580
Organization: Silicon Graphics, Inc.

As if the Baseball and Football teams weren't ACTUALLY 
the best in the world.

Maybe the Purtos Rican National team has a chance against the 
Braves, eh?

And how about the London Monarchs.  Much better than the Bills.

And how can the Bulls be called the best?
I think the Ugandan Giants are equal.

Please.


-- 
+===================================================================+
| Rick Casares			            Silicon Graphics        |	
| cubfan@wrigley.corp.sgi.com		    2011 N. Shoreline Blvd  |
| "Just wait till next year."               Mountain View, CA 94039 |
+===================================================================+
From: jmann@vineland.pubs.stratus.com (Jim Mann)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Re: Felipe Alou
Date: 9 Oct 92 15:04:10 GMT
Reply-To: jmann@vineland.pubs.stratus.com

In article <1992Oct9.133329.13264@bcrka451.bnr.ca> jimdean@bnr.ca  
(Jim Dean) writes:
> 
> In article <BvusuA.Dt6@cs.dal.ca>, colin@ug.cs.dal.ca (Colin Edward  
Mac Donald) writes:
> > 
> > 	Does anyone have the carrer playing stats of future NL Manager  
of
> > 	the Year Felipe Alou?
> > 	Did he have any brothers or cousins who played?
> 
> There were three Alou brothers: Felipe, Matty, and Jesus.

Yep, and they made history at one point by all playing in the
same outfield for one game (for the Giants, I think).

Matty was quite a hitter, and played most of his career with the
Pirates. He led the league in hitting once, hitting over 
350.  Now that was a Pirate outfield: Alou in CF, Clemente
in RF, and Stargell in LF.

--
Jim Mann            
Stratus Computer   jmann@vineland.pubs.stratus.com
From: spira@panix.com (Greg "Sarcasm Is A Way Of Life" Spira)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Pitchers' Hitting And Talking
Date: 9 Oct 92 16:46:10 GMT
Organization: Boo!

Figures: I finally end my self-enforced vacation from rsb, and my newsfeed
goes up in smoke.  Anyway , a reminder - all ballots for the rsb major
awards must be submitted by tomorrow, noon.
    
Now on to the show.

First, I made up a list of the best hitting pitchers in the NL this
year.  Ranked by OPS; Minimum 60 at-bats.


Pitcher       At-Bats        OPS
Gooden          72          .644
Hill            62          .577
Glavine         77          .558
O. Olivares     68          .540
Hershiser       68          .523
Fernandez       74          .446
Benes           67          .429
Avery           76          .427
Harnisch        67          .427
Smoltz          75          .422
Maddux          88          .419
Rijo            72          .416
Hurst           69          .400

Second bit of news:  The newest nationally syndicated talk show will be
hosted by none other than that famous underwear salesman, Jim Palmer.
Palmer will host "Living Today," a half-hour weekday lifestyle/talk
show scheduled to launch in national syndication in the fall of 1993.
Living Today already airs locally in Baltimore, I believe, and features
two lifestyle issues in each segment and is shot entirely on location.

Greg 

-- 
 The shot by McCormick is down in front - Rebound      spira@panix.com   
He scores! Harvard wins the national championship!   158-17 Riverside Dr.  
......You know, it appeared to be a harmless play"   Whitestone NY 11357   
     - Tom Mees and Bob Johnson, March 1989      Trial Sigs - Pick Your Faves
From: rinehart@aramis.rutgers.edu (Mark J. Rinehart)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Re: boo jays
Date: 15 Oct 92 15:09:10 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

In article <Bw5CIK.69u@mach1.wlu.ca> bellswor@mach1.wlu.ca (bob ellsworth s) writes:

> let me count the ways i hate you boo jays:
> 
> reason 792: jays fans insist on waving the canadian flag at home/away games
> implying (somehow) that this is a canadian baseball team. WRONG. it is
> an american team. please don't wave my country's flag at you fuckin'
> dome no more.

Well, let's see. Toronto IS in Canada. And the fans that see the games
in Toronto are most likely Canadians (vast majority anyway). It would
certainly make sense that these Canadian fans would wave the flag of
THEIR country. The only thing is that the team MEMBERS are not
Canadian. Are the team OWNER(s) Canadian? Looks like mr. ellsworth
doesn't mind looking like a fool for making such idiotic remarks.

The rest of ellsworths post deleted as an environmental safeguard
against net.pollution.



Mark
From: ch00@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (Chris Hartzell)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Re: The great sports fans of Pittsburgh
Date: 12 Oct 92 15:24:10 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <ceplMna00YV9E1eatH@andrew.cmu.edu>, mn1s+@andrew.cmu.edu (Michael Sc
ott Neiberg) writes:
>KDKA television showed a very interesting stat last night.  In the past
>week the following events have (or will have) taken place in Pittsburgh
>and drawn sell-out crowds:
>
>2 Penguin games: 32,000+ fans
>3 Pirate LCS games: 170,000+ fans
>Pitt-Notre Dame: 50,000+ fans
>
>This means that more than 1 in every 10 Pittsburghers will have attended
>a major sporting event this week.  Think about how many people would
>have to show up for New York or Los Angeles to do the same.  And if the
>Steelers were home they would add another 50,000 to that list.
>
>
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-
>Michael Neiberg              :
>                             :
>Carnegie Mellon University   :  "People think we make $3 and $4 million a year.
>Department of History        :  They don't realize that most of us only make
>                             :  $500,000" - Pete Incaviglia
>                             :
>LET'S GO BUCS                :
>1990-91-92 NL East Champs    :
>                             :
>LET'S GO PENS                :
>1991-1992 Stanley Cup Champs :
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-
>
 Yeah, but why wasn't last night's baseball game sold out???  Empty seats in
 the outfield???  tisk, tisk....
-- 

    ^^^^^Chris Hartzell^^^^^Computing Center^^^^^Ext. 83830^^^^^
From: dcbeck@indyvax.iupui.edu
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Re:Baerga (Piazza)
Date: 7 Oct 92 08:10:55 -0500

I was going to say that Baerga went to San Diego in the Joe Carter for Sandy
Alomar, Jr. deal, but about twenty people beat me to it.

As for Piazza, I saw him play in the PCL against Colorado Springs.  Yes, he had
a good minor league season, but NO he will not be competition for Daulton.  I'm 
pretty sure that Piazza is the godson of Tommy Lasorda.  That would explain the
hype.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Beck
"It's not over 'til it's over."  Yogi Berra

As for Piazza, I saw him play in the PCL against Colorado Springs.  Yes, he had

Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
From: exby@pogo.Colorado.EDU (|J| Exby)
Subject: Re: eck chokes again!
Organization: University of Colorado, Boulder
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 17:22:10 GMT

timl@zulu.mti.sgi.com (Timothy Layman) writes:

>By the way, "choked again"? When did he ever choke before? :^)

lets see, his error allowed the tying run to score the game before.
near the end of the season he blew two save opportunities in a row.
kirk gibson lit into him a few years ago for a big HR.

he's obviously not on top of his control  right now.

>Tim.

::j

Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
From: kbos@carina.unm.edu (Kurt "Some Guy" Bose)
Subject: Re: Random musings upon perusing Baseball Weekly statistics
Date: Thu, 08 Oct 92 07:27:09 GMT
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque

In article <oeosHgG00VooA3DV0N@andrew.cmu.edu> Amit Likhyani <al1x+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>Excerpts from netnews.rec.sport.baseball: 7-Oct-92 Random musings upon
>perusin.. kasper@sscvx1.ssc.gov (2621)
>
>> SS NL           4.59                    Jay Bell 5.07   Offerman  4.23   .84
>
>
>Jay Bell lead in range factor?  I thought last year he was last or at
>least close to the bottom.  That is really weird.

Oh, you probably thought Howard Johnson would post a...oh, sorry, Amit.  :)

Actually, Bell had a range factor of 4.88 last year...

-- 
Kurt Bose (as in Daisy, not Rose) *  kbos@carina.unm.edu * Make outs, not walks!
Keeper of the R.S.BB FAQ, and Junior Stathead {tm} *  Maintainer, R.S.BB Archive
Be kind. Don't flame the mediots. * Look, stupid comments are funny!' -R. Lustig
I'd rather see Doug Dascenzo pitch than suffer through John Burkett's batting...
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
From: tconnors@morgan.ucs.mun.ca (Tim Connors )
Subject: Post League Championship Comments
Organization: Memorial University of Newfoundland
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 17:43:51 GMT

 Just a few comments from an avid fan:
 

-Roger Clemens was insightful with his scouting reports-if you throw
heat. He often said things like "stair step the hitter with fastballs"
and similar fastball oriented comments. I wonder, if Key pitches, will
he listen to Clemens and start whizzing heat? Not to mention also that
Clemens can throw the ball 600mph anyway, unlike mortals... 
 
-McCarver constantly messed up players, positions and teams. For a while
there I thought Maldonado had been traded...
 
-Just to comfort Americans: If we take the WS, remember, you have our
Stanley Cup. :>


-Baseball is a truly exciting game. 

-Jim Leyland, Cito Gaston, Tony LaRussa and Bob Cox are all great
managers. 
 
-Tim Wakefield is probably going to start a "wave" of knuckleballers.
 
 
-The Jays will prevail !!!!


tconnors@morgan.ucs.mun.ca
   Tim Connors
From: walker@eplrx7.es.duPont.com (Scott Walker)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Re: Was Bream Out?
Date: 15 Oct 92 15:49:19 GMT
Organization: DuPont Central Research & Development

In article <1bju8mINN18d@rave.larc.nasa.gov> bandwen@eagle.larc (bando) writes:
>From where I was watching the game (not real close to the TV),
>Sid Bream looked out or very very close to being out at home.
>Is it just me or what?
>   --bando
>
No, he was safe.  The camera view from behind home plate looking down the
3rd base line, shows Bream's foot crossing the plate just before the tag
was applied to same foot.  The ump called it really fast, and then stared
at the plate for about 2 seconds before walking off.  It was neat watching
the replay of Bream's face as he slides in, stops, looks up at the ump,
sees the call, and then raises his arms and yells.  In slo-mo, it's
very dramatic.  Also, during this same camera shot, you can see the Pirate
3rd baseman in the background pumping his fist before the call, thinking
that Bream was out, then the ump making the call, and the 3rd baseman jumping
up and down in disbelief.  Great camera work, CBS.

I also debated as to whether to stay up to watch the end, but I told myself
that I would have killed myself if I woke up to hear the Braves had pulled
it out and I had slept through it.  

Baseball was in it's purest form last night, and no matter who you're a fan
of, you can appreciate the drama and tension of last night's game and be
excited that the seemingly impossible was actually done.  What a great thing,
baseball is.

Scott

******************************************************
Scott C. Walker
walkersc@esvax.dnet.dupont.com

+++The few opinions I express are not the opinions of my employer.
"What's settled down?  Settled down is you get married and then you buy a
house.  You can get a wood house, a plaster house or a stucco house.  
Oh, how you can get stucco!"  - David Lee Roth, on Rockline, stolen
from Groucho Marx.
******************************************************
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
From: jimdean@bnr.ca (Jim Dean)
Subject: Re: Morris pitches to the score? (kinda long)
Originator: jimdean@bcrks81
Reply-To: jimdean@bnr.ca
Organization: Bell-Northern Research
Distribution: na
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 17:50:58 GMT



drw3l@delmarva.evsc.Virginia.EDU (David Robert Walker) writes:
>In 20 out of 34 games, he allowed the other team to score first. The
>Jays were an unbeleivable 13-7 in those games, with Morris going 9-6.

snichols@adobe.com (Sherri Nichols) writes:
> Actually, I've figured the whole Jack Morris thing out.  You see, he's
> psychic; he knows when he gives up those early runs that it doesn't matter.

And you have the statistical analysis to back it up! :-)

I don't think we can let the SDCN's handle this question. On the other
hand, Doc Palmer says economists are lousy are predicting but good at
explaining why something happened. I must admit I've never heard him
resort to "psychic" for an explanation. So over to you, Doc...what's
the Jack Morris thing all about?

-- 
Jim Dean (Internet: jimdean@bnr.ca) +-----+    National Capital Baseball League
mild-mannered computer scientist -->|Phone|--> President. Pitcher. My knuckler?
Bell-Northern Research, Ottawa,Ont. |Booth|    Not too legit to hit!  6-0, 1.99
Phone: (613) 763-2135 Fax: 763-7241 +-----+    Phone: (613) 723-1580
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
From: rskirsky@athena.qualcomm.com (Ray Skirsky)
Subject: Re: Bonds "choke"?
Followup-To: rec.sport.baseball
Organization: Qualcomm, Inc., San Diego, CA
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1992 00:51:43 GMT

In article <1992Oct7.194501.15226@odin.corp.sgi.com> kubey@sgi.com 
(Ken Kubey) writes:
>In article <1992Oct6.184644.22727@sni.ca> dave@snitor.sni.ca 
(Dave Till) writes:
>
>[terrific essay deleted]
>
>>To put it bluntly:  every time we use the word "choke", we risk killing
>>another Donnie Moore.  And one is enough.
>
>I really liked your post.  Very well written.  It made me think a lot.
>
>But, after I while I thought about the other side.
>According to this theory, there should be a lot of guys killing themselves:
>Calvin Schiraldi, Bill Buckner, Scott Norwood, any Florida State kicker,
>Dave Johnson, Serge (sp?) Bubka.
>
>Should we stop chanting "Darrrr-yl" when Strawberry bats?
>Should we never again boo Jose Canseco?
>Maybe we should stop booing bad calls by umpires and referees -
>they might go home and blow their brains out.
>
>I feel bad about Donnie Moore, but the only person to blame is Donnie Moore.

Regarding the effects of "choking:"

 I think you should consider the other side as well, fans who have forgotten
 it's only a game.  Try wearing a T-shirt for the visiting team at Shea, or
 in the bleachers at Wrigley.  I remember seeing a quote from a NFL place-
 kicker--Morton Anderson, I think--who said: "Fans are sick:  I miss a last
 second field goal and some drunk goes home and punches out his wife."
 Or consider some of the flame fests in this--and other--sports newsgroups.
From: erickson@lclark.edu (Scott Erickson)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: The Year of the Great Comebacks?
Date: 14 Oct 92 01:53:45 GMT
Article-I.D.: lclark.1992Oct14.015345.2897
Distribution: usa
Organization: Lewis & Clark College, Portland OR

Hol-ee cow!  I just heard that in the 3rd inning, it's 8-love Pirates!  Can
you believe this stuff?!  And all you Pirates fans were writing off your
team after games one and two. . . shame, shame!

If things go as they are (and there really isn't much reason to think that
they won't), the Pirates will pull even with the Braves, 3-3, with Deciding
Game 7 tomorrow.  Imagine this: suppose the A's beat the Jays in Toronto
tomorrow (which is VERY possible, given the A's raw talent and the Jays'
not-yet-exorcised ability to choke), evening that series at 3-3.  For the
first time ever, it's possible that we have not one but TWO teams who could
come back to win the series after being down 3 games to 1.  I'm sure that's
never happened before.

Just rambling, trying to endure the wonder of it all..

--SE
From: piz@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (G G ZIPFEL)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Re: Was Bream Out?
Keywords: Remember guys, this is *FUN*
Date: 15 Oct 92 20:16:13 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: AT&T

stanm@comm.mot.com writes:
>bandwen@eagle.larc (bando) writes:
>>From where I was watching the game (not real close to the TV),
>>Sid Bream looked out or very very close to being out at home.
>>Is it just me or what?
>
>The lead foot of Bream appeared to tap the plate before Spanky was
     ^^^^

	Is that the lead as in first, or lead as in a very dense, heavy 
	metal? It seems that in Breams case, the later applies more than
	the former.

>able to apply the tag to the trailing leg. At the moment I would've 
>called it an out, but home plate umpire Randy Marsh was in position 
>and made the correct call.
>

	If Bonds' throw wasn't a little up the line, we could have had
	a collision of monsterous proportions! Wouldn't that have been
	a finish? A cloud of dust, a brawl, and two injured players?
	Ty Cobb would have rolled over in his grave with envy.

-- 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
          Zip                  |   Leaves are turning into Blood,           
Steelers in 92, Bubby's Back!  |   Trees a viscous corpuscular flood - me.   
"Anything that travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it"