From: ajh@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Alan Hu)
Subject: Re: ...or purple
Organization: Computer Science Department, Stanford University.
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 01:28:15 GMT

In article <1992Dec14.234526.2163@cheshire.oxy.edu> ac@cheshire.oxy.edu (Aileen Cho) writes:
>
	[Aileen's saying she's busy, hasn't had time to respond to the
	 "Admit your racism" comments, and feels that race *is* irrelevant to
	 her dating preferences deleted.
>  Look, I'm no expert on race relations, and I live in LA, and I follow
>the news, and so I know what's going on. But I know what I believe, and
>I know how I was brought up--and I had to _learn_ that multiculturalism
>is still being "learned" and debated endlessly; I had to learn to be aware
>that my ethnicity is an irrevocable factor in the Real World.  Yes, I even
>had to learn to appreciate my heritage.  It wasn't something I ever denied
>because it wasn't something I _had_ to be aware of.  You can shake your
>self-righteous and skeptical heads all you like -- but you see, when I
>was in high school, the circles I moved in had faces of all ethnicities--
>and you know what, it JUST HAPPENED to be that way. Chance and demographics
>determined that my particular community was naturally diverse. And cross-
>cultural dating wasn't a phenomenon.  It was a norm.  YOu can come over and
>take a look at my yearbooks if you like.
>  Oh, but wait.  We must have all been a bunch of self-hating, denying,
>hypocritical betrayers of our respective ethnicities.  I forgot.  YOU know,
>I don't.  Even though YOU don't know the world _I_ grew up in, and really
>have no right to say why _I_ say what I say.  YOu know about my dating
>habits better than I do. Oh yeah. Gee, so sorry. Yeah, I DO care if "He's"
>green, after all. I mean, he might be a Martian.         
>
>  Ain't it a funny world when people actually don't WANT to believe that
>there are places and there are communities where people of different races
>interact with each other according to what they're interested in and what
>personality traits they look for in friends. So sue me for not having been
>persecuted in my childhood because of my ethnicity. 
>  I'll just get off my soapbox now and decide how I'm going to make myself
>hate all Japanese, since it's my "historical duty" and be suspicious of all
>those Great White Hunters who want me to be their rice girl, and run away
>from all those evil black men and Latino gang members since after all, I'm
>showing my self-hatred and lack of honesty by being interested in any of
>them. Never mind that I grew up among them, ran cross country with them,    
>went to school with them. AFter all, it's my obligatory duty to only date
>Asian men, right? OH sure. 
>                                   Cheers.
>                                       --ac
>


Sigh.  Now, it's Aileen, too.  For people who haven't been around this
group as long as I have, Aileen's posted tons of absolutely awesome
stuff before.  I honestly respect her for *living* as un-racist life
as she can, far more than I have achieved.  (BTW, Aileen, excellent
snippet in the WSJ)  But now even Aileen is painting with the broad
brush, implying that all us Asian-American men are racist, that we
don't want racial harmony, that we don't believe in multi-culturalism,
that we deny everyone else's experiences.

Is everyone out there really catching THAT MUCH SHIT from EVERY SINGLE
ASIAN-AMERICAN MAN they've ever met???

For the record, for the nth time, I am absolutely thrilled to see
happy, healthy, caring relationships.  Inter-racial or not.
Gay or straight.  Progressive or traditional.  And I think most
of the long-time netters (including lots and lots and lots of Asian-American
men) would agree with me.  No, we are NOT all evil, racist, reactionary,
pigs trying to inflict vicious guilt trips on "our" (yeah, and we all
think we own Asian-American women) women.

The simple fact, though, is that AAF/WM relationships outnumber
AAM/WF relationships by a huge margin.  (From marriage records,
4:1 in San Francisco, 8:1 in Sacramento)  It doesn't take a statistical
genius to surmise that something very strange is going on.

And then you hear a few (hopefully atypical) white guys saying things like
(quote from Stanford Daily, December 1, 1992) "If you look at the
word `subserviency' in the literal sense, I have to say I find
Asian women to be more so," says "Paul" who only dates Asian-American
women,"They tend to be quieter and they don't contradict me as much,
so it all works out for the better."

And then you turn around and some Asian-American woman is saying
that she refuses to date Asian-American men because they have
lousy table manner.  Or they expect women to be subservient.  Or
they're lousy dressers and have no sense of style.  Or they're
too trendy and materialistic.  Or they this.  Or they that.

And you get the idea that whatever it is strange that's going on,
it's really, really screwed up.

No, this is NOT a call for Asian-American women to only date
Asian-American men; you all have the right to date whomever
you want, just as I do.  No, this is NOT sour-grapes whining;
I'm quite happy with my social life as it stands, thank you.

Yes, this IS a call for the end of the rampant stereotyping of
Asian-American men (and Asian-American women, and white men,
and white women, and African-American men, and African-American
women, etc.).
					--Alan Hu
----------
I am not Arthur Hu.  I am NOT Arthur Hu.  I AM NOT ARTHUR HU.

I am not a neo-conservative writer for AsianWeek.  I did not go
to MIT.  I do not conduct phone surveys.  I am not married.
I do not believe in Dan Quayle's family values.

Arthur Hu is a fine person.  So am I.  We are not, however, the same person.
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american