From: mark@kraken.ucsd.edu (Mark Anderson)
Newsgroups: alt.psychology.personality
Subject: Re: Friendship and personality
Date: 8 Jan 93 22:23:06 GMT
Organization: W.A.S.T.E.

In article <43140@sdcc12.ucsd.edu> mark@kraken.ucsd.edu (Mark Anderson) writes:
>In article <C0G8K3.92r@utdallas.edu> bcollins@utdallas.edu (ARLIN B COLLINS) writes:
>>   I am an ISTJ ...   With strong N's, I feel like
>>   I am trying to play 20 questions to communicate with them,
>>   I regard myself as a very direct communicator, no prejudice,
>>   emotion or opinions...  "just the facts",  the  N's are always
>>   reading emotions and feelings into my words that ARE NOT THERE!,
>>   and when they speak to me, they are so vague that I get tired of
>>   trying to figger out if they are  "for it"  or  "agin' it"...
>>
>
>
>I'll check the book Type Talk at the office this afternoon
>to see if there is any illuminating discussion in it.  I seem
>to recall a section similar to what you are describing revolving
>around the response to the question "what time is it?".  The
>questioner wants a "3:04pm" response and gets a "Oh, don't
>worry, we're not late" response.
>

Someone who took the test at work and saw that the personality
description fit her to the letter stole off with the book 
yesterday.  I've got it back today. From 


    _Type Talk_, Kroeger and Thuesen

     Sensor: "What time is it?"
     iNtuitive: "It's late!"
     S (somewhat surprised): "What time is it?"
     N (insistent): "It's time to go"
     S (getting impatient): "Hey, read my lips! I asked, 'What 
	  time is it?'"
     N (equally impatient): "It's past three"
     S (exasperated): "Close, but no cigar! I shouldn't have to
          ask a simple question four times to get a close answer."
     N (perturbed, because he belives he answered correctly
       the first time): "You shouldn't be so picky"

     And so it goes with a typical S-N communication problem.
     Remember: Sensors are literal; they ask a specific question,
     for which they want a specific answer.  The iNtuitive, in
     contrast, may find a hundred ways to provide an answer --
     none of which may be the one the Sensor is looking for.


Here is my INFP perspective.  As an ISTJ, you are likely
to have a procedure that you consider the right way something
should be done.  More over, there is only one right way.
(Okay, I doubt you are really that rigid). So while you may 
be a very direct communicator, there is an underlying protocol 
implicit in your commnications.  Until I figure out what
that implicit protocol is, or you make it more explicit, we
are going to be talking past each other.

According to "Type Talk" NT's strengths include the ability to 
speak and write clearly and precisely.  NF's strenghts include 
being articulate and persuasive.  So I think the problems
of communication isn't that N's are terminally vague.

I think S's could make it part of their routine (at least
when dealing with those damn N's :) ) to spell out the type 
of response they are looking for.  Instead of "What time
is it?", maybe "What time do you have on your watch?" would
work.

I think N's could ask to find out the the type of response
that is being sought instead of trying to figure it out.

From experience, I know things go much smoother once some
meta understanding is established.

mark
Newsgroups: alt.psychology.personality,rec.arts.startrek.current