From: riggle@adobe.com (Kathleen Riggle)
Subject: Re: 20/20 and Spanking
Organization: Adobe Systems Incorporated
Date: Wed, 11 Nov 1992 22:23:37 GMT

In article <1992Nov10.213616.2227858@locus.com> judy@locus.com (Judy Leedom Tyrer) writes:
>In article <1992Nov10.001634.8940@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov> lauraf@classy.Jpl.Nasa.Gov (Laura Floom) writes:
>>
>>                               .... YOu seem to think it odd that I wonder
>>where David Shackelford is coming from with these posts. I think it is 
>>important. 
>
>One of the problems I have noticed with this group is that we are long on
>memories of inflammatory posts and short on memories of supportive posts.
>Anyone who has been at the flame end of the net will understand what I mean.

Not completely true.  Someone once posted that I should treat my
daughter like I treat the cat; that she was sensitive because we
catered to her and made her that way.  After several more of these
tiring posts, he was flamed.  I don't know if it was that or whatever
was eating him went away, but since then he's been posting very
helpful informative posts.  I'm willing to write those earlier posts
off to being under stress or whatever, since he now seems to really be
wanting to help and give useful information.

>Alan Y has posted dozens of insightful, helpful, contributions to this net,
                   ^^^^^^
>but that one post about leaving his colicky daughter in the bathroom to keep
>himself sane has labelled him forever as a "child abuser" in the eyes of
>the net. 

Sorry, Judy, I can't think of dozens of insightful posts from Alan.  I
can hardly think of one.  But then again, I don't lump David into the
same group as Alan Y.  

> I have such a label from previous flame wars ("Christian bigot" would
>probably be the label, but I'd be guessing).  And now David Shackleford has
>gotten one.

No label from me.  I find you perfectly delightful.  No, really!
Sometimes I read your posts and think, "I can't believe she wrote
that!  I'd never admit to feeling that way!"  Or "I can't believe that
someone thinks that!"  Still, that doesn't keep me from getting useful
information from your posts.  I don't agree with everything you say,
but I never doubt your sincerity.

Also, David isn't a parent.  That doesn't mean his opinion is not
useful; just incorrect.. :-) No, just kidding!  However, can't you
think of dozens of "ideals" that you believed before your kids came
along?  I can.  And how many of them have you realized to be really
naive beliefs on your part once you did have kids?  I didn't even
think there was anything wrong with spanking; but then again, I never
really thought about it; just accepted it.  However, when I became
pregnant and started reading and realizing that spanking could be
harmful to a child, I just couldn't continue to believe that it was
something that I would have to do to my child.

It's a little disconcerting to have someone asked, "Hey, do you have
kids?" because I've seen a lot of good advice from non-parents on this
group and I don't like to see these people scared off (well, not all
of them. :-) ); however, it is also valid because advice from
non-parents is usually just speculation.  It's a fine line.

Kathie

-- 
riggle@adobe.com