From: madhaus@netcom.com (Maddi Hausmann)
Subject: Re: Dave Barry & Dan Quayle
Organization: Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1992 20:13:44 GMT

jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer) writes: >
madhaus@netcom.com (Maddi Hausmann) writes: >>
>>
>>Over on a.f.dave-barry, Mr. Switzer posits that amazing hypothesis that
>>the Davester voted for Bush.  He used the quote above as his proof.  I
>>should remind Mr. Switzer what Dave Barry had to say about Our Man Dan.
>>I don't have the exact quote, but it was long the lines of:

   * Note tha Mr. Switzer edits the quote out so to avoid any
     proof that the Davester trashed Danoe *

>I LOVE it! You guys are so intent on spewing your venom on anyone or anything
>that even comes close to liking Dan Quayle that you lie and misquote with
>wild abandon, and you don't even bother to hide it. I also love how you
>claim Dan Quayle fans don't have a sense of humor, but then you show 
>how clueless you are by failing to show that you can pick up even on the 
>most obvious satire!

I see no *SATIRE* here.
You have:
     A 1992 RNC brochure
     A Dave Barry column
     A failed president
     An incompetent vice-president
     An attack schnauzer (oh, sorry, same thing)
     Venom in a flash
     Viciousness in your posting
     Vindictiveness in your moral fibre
     A very bad case of projection

There are election stubs here!
There are torn up Bush/Quayle '92 signs here!
There are surly conservatives here!

>What I said in a.f.d-b was not what YOU claim I said but that I was curious
>as to how Barry voted; this was simply because Barry skewered each of the 
>three main candidates, but saved his main barbs for Clinton. And of course,
>Dave has said numerous times "I'll keep Dan Quayle." 

Oh dear.  You're so intent on rewriting history that you ignore the
numerous times Dave Barry skewered the Republicans.  Hell, he skewers
everyone!

>Let me translate that for you, Maddi, since you seem incapable of understanding
>any humor except that which mirrors your own in its venom and vindictiveness - 
>Barry would keep Quayle because he protected Bush against assassination. This 
>is why Barry said he would revise the Constitution (with crayon) to make 
>Quayle the permanent Veep. 

Well, you can say that if you want to, but it doesn't make it true.
I like a good Clinton joke as much as anyone; it's just most of the
True Conservatives don't know how to tell a good joke.  The "Bill
Clinton" statue committee letter that's going around is a rewrite
of the same letter about FDR!  The "Bill Clinton Tax Return" was
done in the '70s.  And the '60s.  Yawn.  The only really good Bill 
joke I heard in the last month was the one about what Ted Kennedy has 
that Bill wishes he had: a dead girlfriend.  Sick?  Of course.  But 
also funny.

It's just that Quayle is so much funnier, and all we have to do is
repeat what he says.  Kind of like dealing with you, John.  All I
have to do is post something and let you froth at the mouth so 
everyone else can snicker.  Wait; maybe you agree with that "The
real Dan Quayle" author who said he was sure the majority of
Americans agreed with him, even if no one here did.  Well, go 
find your majority.  I'm sure it's around here somewhere.  Maybe
in alt.flame.lush-bimbo.

>Well, I understand why you guys are so hysterically intent (pun intended) on
>attacking Quayle - this is all you can do, and you don't have much time left
>to do it. But if you're going to lie and misquote, at least have the courtesy
>to hide it a bit.

Why should we do that?  Can't take what you RNCers dish out, eh?
How's it feel to be a failed poster in a powerless state?

Now that John is done frothing, here's what really happened:

Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
From: jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer)
Subject: Re: Dave on Larry King
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1992 18:54:42 GMT

In article <mjenkins.721748005@cunews> mjenkins@alfred.carleton.ca (Michael Jenkinson) writes:
>In <1992Nov14.033539.27378@netcom.com> jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer) writes:
>
>
>>John Switzer               | "If you ask me, Larry, the Clinton Presidency
>>                           | has failed. What has he done? Nothing!"
>>CompuServe: 74076,1250     | --Dave Barry to Larry King, November 12, 1992
>>Internet: jrs@netcom.com   | (P.S. Impeach Clinton, support the coup!)
>
>If you ask me, the above quote was the funniest thing he said all
>night. I couldn't stop laughing. Best part was, part of me thinks Dave
>was serious when he said it...with his rumored libertarian streak and
>all, I'm sure he doesn't support Clinton.
>
I'd be interested in knowing whom he voted for - in his National Press Club
talk he zinged just about everybody. He answered every question he was asked
with some reference to the "failed Clinton Presidency," and expressed his 
"confidence" that Clinton would be able to instill ethics in the federal 
government and get rid of all the lobbyists. To be fair, though, he also 
mentioned that he thought the blame for Bush's fall was his campaign 
advisers, Wayne and Garth. However, one suspects he might have voted
Republican since he said he would like to amend the Constitution to make
Quayle the permanent VP; this would not have to be a big deal, according to
Dave - "we could just use crayons."

And of course, he really attacked Clinton for daring to bring a cat into the
White House, although his explanation was along the lines of "dogs are stupid
and thus are always thinking you're a mega-genius, while cats actually have
a clue as to how stupid you are." He did bring up a great point - the White
House belongs to the people, so do we really want a cat scratching up all 
the furniture in the Lincoln Bedroom?



-- 
John Switzer               | "If you ask me, Larry, the Clinton Presidency
                           | has failed. What has he done? Nothing!"
CompuServe: 74076,1250     | --Dave Barry to Larry King, November 12, 1992
Internet: jrs@netcom.com   | (P.S. Impeach Clinton, support the coup!)



-- 
Maddi Hausmann                madhaus@netcom.com
Humorist, Satirist, Tech Writer.  Take your pick.

Centigram Communications Corp, San Jose California  408/428-3553