From: ngivler@bbn.com (Noelle Givler)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: birth announcement (easy birth stories)
Date: 28 Aug 92 17:26:01 GMT
Reply-To: ngivler@spca.bbn.com (Noelle Givler)
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Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman Inc., Cambridge MA
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Christine's request - 

>...I'll be a first time mom in
>January, and have read and heard my share of horror stories, so
>please do post your "easy time" birth story.
>     Christine
>     mom-2-b in Jan. '93

inspired me to add to the 'labor was not the worst experiance of my life' 
thread.  I'd like to preface the birth story by adding my own observations on
the psychology of birth stories.

While I was pregnant, I heard all about 40 hour labors from hell, last minute 
c-sections or even worse c-sections following a 40 hour labor. With one 
exception, everyone told me that labor was unbelievably, incomprehensively 
painful - I was told that I could not even begin to imagine it.  The 
implication was that only superwomen managed to have a drugfree labor. 

The one exception only did little to dispel my anxiety. One of my aunts had all 
5 of their children at home - the last two were delivered by a neighbor who's 
previous experience with birth was limited to cows and horses.  My uncle was 
out farming and made it back in time to hold a newly washed baby. I had no
illusions of being in my Aunt's class.

As it turned out, I had a relatively short and easy labor.  It certainly wasn't
painless but it was never unbearable.  I screamed some, moaned some, and 
concentrated on breathing.  I never got past the upper chest breathing - none 
of the pant twice, blow three times, etc.. that we'd practiced - but I was 
able to focus all my attention on breathing in and blowing out. (My husband 
said that he could tell when the contraction started because I seemed to go 
into a trance - staring off into space and oblivious to everything).  I never
felt overwhelmed. 

The contractions themselves felt like the cramps which accompany diarrhea. The 
sensation (if not the intensity) was very familiar and I found that familiarity
quite reassuring.  After all, I'd lived through quite a few bouts of diarrhea.
I suspect that I would have found it much harder to handle a pain which I had
not experienced before.

After my labor, I found that I was not comfortable sharing my experience with
others.  When friends talked about their labors, I listened to grueling horror
stories and kept quiet about my own labor.  It seemed rude and insensitive to
discuss my experience in the midst of such unanimous recalled suffering.

By not speaking up, I'm afraid that I've only reinforced the perception that 
labor is unremittingly awful for all women.  I do not mean to dismiss the pain
which other women have experienced.  But I do think it's important to let 
expectant  mothers know that labor may not be as bad as they've anticipated. 
I was lucky - efficient contractions, baby positioned correctly, managable 
pain - but you may be lucky as well.

If you've stuck with me so far, birth story follows -

I woke about 12:30 a.m 5 days before my due date with what felt like very mild
diarrhea cramps.  I lay in bed for about 1/2 hour before I realized that the
cramps seemed to be occurring at pretty regular intervals.  I got up, borrowed
my husbands watch, and started timing them.  I stayed up for about an hour,
timing contractions and watching an old movie - the contractions varyed from 5
to 7 minutes apart and lasted about 1 minute.  Since  nothing much seemed to be
happening, I went back to bed and dozed 'till about 4. 

At this point the contractions were strong enough that I needed to breathe
through them but they were still 5 - 7 minutes apart.  In between contractions,
I packed my bag for the hospital, sent email to the folks at work, and read
everything I could find on early labor. (No, I do not have an abnormally high 
tolerance for pain. At the point, the contractions were simply not very 
debilitating.)

My husband got up at 7 and we discussed calling my ob. Because she had been
quite a pill through out my pregnancy - no sense of humor and a real gift for 
making all of our questions seems incredibly stupid- we were unwilling to call
her 'prematurely'.  She had specifically told us to wait until the contractions
were 3 minutes apart and we were nervous about looking like overanxious 1st 
time parents (Sticking with her through the pregnancy was a big mistake on our
part. If you're not comfortable calling your doctor to ask a 'stupid question',
change doctors.)

We decided to go for a walk instead. Because my contractions were not getting 
closer together, we were concerned that I might be having a false labor.
According to our books, walking was a sure way to distinguish between
real and false labor.  If the contractions got closer together, you had the
real thing.  We walked about 2 1/2 miles.  The contractions got somewhat
stronger - towards the end I could no longer walk while the contractions were
occurring -  but stayed 5 to 7 minutes apart. 

At this point, we decide to brave my ob's scorn and call her anyway.  It
was about 11 a.m.. I explained that I'd been in labor since 1 a.m., that
contractions had been 5 to 7 minutes apart the entire time, and that I was still
pretty comfortable breathing through contractions.  She mentioned that this
sounded like it might be a false labor and told us to come to her office once 
the contractions got 4 minutes apart.

Shortly after we hung up, the contractions got much more intense (still 5
minutes apart) and I started to feel nauseous. I switched to midchest breathing
which kept the pain at bay but did nothing for the nausea. I tryed different 
positions - leaning against the wall, on all fours, leaning against my husband -
but nothing seemed to help. At this point, I told my husband to call the 
doctor and tell her that we were coming in.  

Of course, you're all saying "nausea = transition = get to the hospital now".  
We were so fixated on monotonically decreasing contraction intervals as the 
primary indicator, that this didn't occur to either one of us.  (Do we sound 
like engineers?)  My labor couldn't be getting serious because my contractions 
were still 5 minutes apart.

After packing himself a couple of sandwiches in preparation for the long haul
at the hospital, my husband loaded my bag and me into the car and we started
off.  It was the 2nd longest ride of my life. Contractions were now 4 minutes
apart and were very intense.  My husband was too busy driving (and trying to
keep his panic under control) to really help me breath.  What I found even more
worrysome, however, was that I was losing control of my hands.  They had curled
up into half closed balls and I could not open them. (I later found out that 
this is a common side effect of hyper-ventilation). In between contractions, I 
kept busy being an obnoxious back seat driver - Boston traffic is a very 
effective distraction.  

We reached the doctor's office and my husband helped me to the examining room.
Luckily, the doctor didn't keep me waiting.  A quick internal exam and she
announced that I was 9 cm dilated.  I was elated and relieved - I'd been 
mentally prepared to find that I was 3-4 cm. This meant that the labor really 
was almost over.  She told me that she'd call the hospital and told my husband,
who'd just finished parking the car, that we should go directly to the
hospital. (She was afraid that my husband would panic if he knew that I was
9 cm.  I couldn't keep the good news to myself, however, and my husband 
managed to keep his panic under control.)

I waddled back down to car (alarming several pregnant mothers who shared the
elevator by breathing through 2 contractions) and we started off on the longest
ride of my life. The hospital was less than a mile away but the city was
working on the roads.  It took us 20 minutes to get to the hospital - most of
it spent 3 blocks from the hospital and unable to move.  I was wondering if we
could bypass the traffic by driving on the sidewalk.  My husband was 
frantically trying to remember all he read about delivering the baby yourself.

We finally reached the hospital and thanks to the ob's call, I was able to
waddle directly to my labor & delivery room.  (They had a wheel chair ready to
me but after sitting in the car, the last thing I wanted was to sit again.)  At
this point, the contractions were 2 - 3 minutes apart but I was still able to
breath through them pretty effectively - particularly if I standing.  As they
were helping me undress in the ldr, I had a contraction which felt like the
beginning of a bowel movement.  I told them that I had to push.  The midwife
told me to  pant through it and they helped me onto the bed for an
internal exam.  I was 10 cm. dilated and she told me to push anytime I wanted. 

My husband tells me that I had an external fetal monitor on but I don't
remember that.  I do remember a blur of extreme pain (pushing was much worse 
than the transition contractions) and all too brief intervals of rest.  It was
too late for any sort of medication so I knew that pushing my child out was 
the only way to stop the pain. I have no idea how many contractions I pushed 
through, I do know it took about 1/2 hour. 

When my daughter finally made her appearance, we discovered why the pushing had
been so painful. Her right arm was wrapped over to top of her head and touching
her left ear, effectively increasing her head circumference by several cms.  I
also had a fair amount of tearing as a result.

Dad held the baby (I felt too weak) and we all cooed at each other for about
1/2 an hour.  Laura was an ad agency new born - pink perfect skin, round
head, cute little pug nose - looking like she'd just effortlessly sailed 
out the birth canal and into the world.  The midwife tryed to stitch up the 
tears in the ldr but they was too deep to repair with just local anesthetic.
So after 30 minutes of family bonding, they wheeled me off to the o.r. while 
Dad and Laura stayed in the l.d.r.  I ended up with a spinal anyway, it just 
happened after the birth rather than before.

I'll second Audrey Ishizaki's comment that 

>None of the birth stories I had read, or classes that we had taken had
>prepared me that my baby might come really fast.  I had expected a really
>long process, so we were unprepared.

To that I'd add that our classes concentrated far too much on the the length of
time between contractions.  This was a totally meaningless indicator in my
case.  By the time my contractions were 3 minutes apart I was well into
transition.  If there is a next time, we're leaving for the hospital the
instant I feel my first contraction.  


Noelle Givler (mom to Laura Eleanor Green. 1 year old on September 5th)