From: harp@netcom.com (Gregory O. Harp)
Subject: Re: Sexuality
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 23:39:22 GMT

smithw@col.hp.com (Walter Smith) writes:

>wgb3@pyuxf.uucp (25336-buoni) writes:
>> 
>> My guess is that what is being sought is acceptance, not tolerance.  The 
>> problem is that living a gay lifestyle is not OK (my values).  That is not
>> to say that homosexuals are inherently evil, but that God did not intend us 
>> to function this way.  Nor did he intend for us to be sexually active 
>> outside of marriage, indulge in "immoral" behavior, ....  

>Which makes me think of something that was said last week about the issue 
>of 'sexuality'...I get the impression that the lesbigay posters view the 
>majority of straight people as sexually repressed, and that a lot of the 
>straight posters feel that lesbigay people are generally more concerned 
>with the issue of sex; sex is more 'important' to them than to straight 
>people.  Are both of these views just overgeneralizations, or is there 
>something to either/both? 

It's an overgeneralization.

I'm straight and I think that most straight people are sexually
repressed.  I'm not promiscuous.  I'm monogamous, and I wait until I
have an established relationship before I have sex with that person.
I've practiced safer sex from Day 1.  The difference between most
straight people and myself is that I'm not afraid of or uncomfortable
with sex.  I overcame the "Sex is a horrible, dirty thing that you
only share with the one you love" message that confuses most children
in the U.S.

In my opinion, the reason that lesbigay people have the reputation
they do is because most straight people think that the outspoken ones
are the only ones out there.  Hence, straight people think that
lesbigays are promiscuous.  In reality, gay/bi men don't appear (to
me) to spend any more time thinking/talking/whatever about sex than
straight men.  I can't speak for the women in this case.  What most
straight people don't realize is that their neighbor, coworker, or
whomever is gay, simply because they don't exhibit the gay
stereotypes.

Surprise.  10% of the population is lesbigay.  That means YOU (meaning
everyone reading this) work with, go to school with, etc., lesbigay
people and you don't even know it.

>> These are my beliefs.  I don't expect you to adopt them, nor do I expect you to
>> accept them.  All I ask in return is that you give me the same respect in
>> return.  In my view, teaching my children views which are in direct conflict
>> with our (my wife and I) values is a violation of this respect. 

The problem here is that in respecting your views, others' views are
ignored.  You must respect theirs as well.

The teachings of YOUR God conflict with the views of billions of
people on this planet.  What gives you the right to force them on
others?  You may say that you are not forcing these views on anyone,
but the default in this country tends to suit your views, so you
simply don't notice.

If all semblence of sexuality (hetero, homo, or bi) could be removed
from schools, along with religion and race, only then would it suit
everyone's views -- in effect by suiting none and allowing for
personal views to be taught in the home by the parents.  Last I
checked, the parents were supposed to be the ones responsible for the
child in the first place.  When did that change?

However, removing all of these things from the school environment is
impossible, and IMO, not the best solution anyway.  Instead, we have
to teach children (at home and in school) to feel free to have
whatever views they (or their parents) wish, but to learn and
understand that others don't necessarily share those views, and that
they should not be persecuted for that reason.

In the case of sexuality, we must stop teaching by default that
homosexuality and bisexuality is wrong.  If you want to teach your
kids this at home (or hand them off to the church like so many
parents) that's fine by me.  Just don't be surprised when their
opinion is in the minority.  Also, don't mourn when a percentabge of
them who discover that they are lesbigay rebel against their families
or even commit suicide because their lifestyles are "wrong".

In other words, you're perfectly free to burn you own bridges.  Just
don't do it for everyone else.
-- 
-----------------Greg-Harp----------------harp@netcom.com------------------
  "I think I've reached that point / Where every word that you write /
  Of every blood dark sea / And every soul black night / And every dream
  you dream me in / And every perfect free from sin / And burning eyes /
  And hearts on fire / Are just the same old song" -- The Cure