From: Albert-Lunde@nwu.edu (Albert Lunde)
Subject: Re: Looking for fun sex games to play.
Followup-To: soc.bi
Reply-To: Albert-Lunde@nwu.edu (Albert Lunde)
Organization: Ministry of Silly Walks
            <20104@castle.ed.ac.uk> 
            <204801@unix.cis.pitt.edu>
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1992 06:17:31 GMT

In article <204801@unix.cis.pitt.edu> was1+@pitt.edu (Scott A Wayne) writes:
>[...]I am a bisexual and haven't had much sexual
>experience with men.  I have had more experience with women.  I am now
>involved in a relationship with another man at the age of 20.  [...]
>If you have any ideas on how to make the ordinary seem extraordinary, please
>let me know.

I'm not really going to answer your question - just sort of react to it -
I'm age 38 and didn't have sex with anyone till about age 23, so I'm afraid
the only advice I could offer to a sexually active 19 year old is to
develop an interest in older men ;-) (insert smilies as needed here.)

[Aside: To the rest of the group - I expect I'm not the only one to come 
out with some delays/detours along the way - I sometimes don't know what 
"stage of life" I'm in - am I in a delayed adolescence, a mid-life crisis or a
second childhood? ;) One problem with being gay/bi and single is that 
there are fewer conventional milestones to look at.]

More seriously, it sounds like you are doing pretty well already - refinements
can wait till you are old and jaded - say age 25 ;-).

Gay/lesbian bookstores have various books on sex technique that go into more
detail (and have better pictures) than I can offer over the net.

One of my personal favorites was "Men Loving Men: A Gay Sex Guide &
Consciousness Book" by Mitch Walker - Gay Sunshine Press 1977 -
but as you can see, this is years old, and I don't know if it is in
print.

Also these days one must update a lot of older books with respect to
safe sex. I recommend "Making It: A Woman's Guide to Sex in the Age of 
AIDS" by Cindy Patton and Janis Kelly - for the basics.  (Yes, it's
for women, but it covers het,homo and bi women, which spans most of
the range of sex acts. Bisexuals can benefit from an "ecumenical"
approach to sex ed.)

I don't know a really comperhensive "advanced" safe sex manual. Even
such seemingly simple things as tips for using cut up condoms or 
gloves in place of dental dams haven't gotten into most literature.

(Federally imposed censorship makes it hard to tell people how to
use condoms in het sex much less mention anything else.)

You might get interesting ideas by reading: "Susie Sexpert's
Lesbian Sex World" by Susie Bright or "The Advocade Advisor" by Pat
Califia. (These are collections of columns so they are not
comprehensive.)

Another thought is to talk with your partner and find out better what
makes each of you "hot".  It's been easier for me to talk in the
abstract than communicate with someone I was involved with.

Play safe, take your time, use plenty of lubrication, relax, and have fun.

Albert "I'm not an old fart, but I play one on the net" Lunde
-- 
 Albert Lunde         | Interfaith  |     *Y*Y*      "A branch on the
 Albert-Lunde@nwu.edu |  Bisexual   |      *Y*        tree of life"
 alunde@nuacvm.bitnet |  Feminist   |.......|.........................