From: aag@aber.ac.uk (Angela Gilham)
Newsgroups: soc.bi
Subject: Re: Gender difference?
Date: 17 Aug 92 10:57:21 GMT
Organization: Computer Science, University of Wales, Aberystwyth

In article <1992Aug17.063310.20634@news.Hawaii.Edu> 
johnf@uhheph.phys.hawaii.edu (John Flanagan) writes:
   In article <24891@castle.ed.ac.uk> angi@festival.ed.ac.uk 
   (Angi Lamb) writes:
   >A less obvious gender difference occurred to me.  After i've been
   >vaginally (mine that is) intimate with someone, I am physically aware of
   >the penetration for up to 2-4 days afterwards.  I did a quick survey. 
   >The women agreed.  The men hadn't heard of the lingering effects before
   >and it didn't happen to them. 

   Are you talking about when men are the receptive partner?  If so, 
   that's odd.  I know that whenever I am the bottom for anal sex, I can
   definitely still feel the penetration for a couple of days afterwards.
   If I've just been fucked by someone I really like, I especially enjoy
   still being able to feel them the next day whenever I sit down.  It
   gives me a delicious intimacy to feel as though they are still with me
   while I'm at the office or some other public place.  It's a secret,
   private treat.

Hmmmmm. I'm somewhat chary of getting into this debate, but I'll
dip a toe in anyway. The lingering effects are, in my admittedly 
limited experience (all offers allowing me to widen my data sample
considered on their merits with almost no prejudice ;-) very different
between vaginal and anal sex. I've had problems explaining how
the feelings of penetration differ between the two when describing
some of my experiences, but for me at least, the vaginal penetration
definitely lasts longer and is more intense (although again that 
can be a partner-dependent variable (yeah, I know that's a bit
vague and mealy-mouthed)). The quiet, pleasure filled squirm of
good anal sex, punctuated by the odd rapid dash for the toilet
(unfortunately two floors down at work ;-), just doesn't last as
long.

   >I got to wondering what emotional effects this could have.  I wonder if
   >that explains why men (in general) find it easier to compartmentalise
   >the different parts of their life than women do? If you can feel the
   >physical effect of a lover days afterwards, thoughts of them are bound
   >to surface more readily. 
   >
   >Any comments?

   I _think_ I know what you are trying to say, but could you explain
   more what you mean?

Well, as you yourself commented, when not the receptive partner, most
of the sensations don't last beyond the next shower. It's a bit like
the man rolling over and starting to snore as soon as he's had an
orgasm syndrome, when it takes the woman a good quarter of an hour 
listening to him to come down from her physical high. You can meet 
the man the next day, the next morning over breakfast, in fact, and
whilst he's busy with the coffee and the cornflakes, and as far as 
one can tell, thoroughly unscractched by the whole experience, 
you've still got acheing muscles by the score. It's thoroughly 
unnerving to be confronted by somebody who seems to be getting 
on with life as normal whilst you can't forget about what you've
done for days, because your body keeps on giving you very intimate
reminders. Occasionally I wonder if this is one of the reasons why
women, in general, tend to be slightly more obsessive about
relationships than men.

Mmmm. Rambling again, Gilham, time to get back to the thesis. Sigh ;-(

Ang
--
Angela Gilham. Dept of Computer Science | "You walked out of my front door,
University of Wales, Penglais,          | I wasn't then, but now I'm sure;
Aberystwyth. SY23 3BZ. UK               | I need to be at least 2,000 miles 
aag@aber.ac.uk      +44 970 622433      | away from you!"  --- Erasure
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