From: stcroix@ultra.com (Bill St. Croix)
Subject: Re: Sanctity of relationships
Reply-To: stcroix@ultra.com (Bill St. Croix)
Organization: Ultra Network Technologies
Distribution: usa
Date: Wed, 8 Apr 92 16:28:59 GMT

In article <1992Apr7.174958.28007@cbfsb.cb.att.com> sms@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (steven.m.stein) writes:
>
>Whether enticing a participant in another relationship to persue one
>with you is moral or immoral, in my opinion, is strictly a matter
                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>of personal choice.  Of course, knowning the self righteous and
>opinionated attitudes displayed in this newsgroup by some (and the rest
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>of society), I'm sure you are going to hear from many who think you 
>to be a low life slime if you did.  Others will cheer you on, and
>yet others will condemn the person already involved in the other 
>relationship labeling them as sluts, unworthy, etc......Of course,
>all of these firm and factual "opinions" of what's right and what's
>wrong have the potential of changing 180 degrees if these people were
>ever on the other side of the fence.  But in the meantime, they will
>claim that their way is the right way.  

What makes you think your "opinion" is any better than anyone elses?  I
think that is pretty self righteous and opinionated on your part.  Your
basically saying that people are gonna say either 'go for it' or 'you're
a no good slime if you do that' and that they are "opinionated" because
they do take the same view about this as you do. 

Sure, it is always good to be on the "winning" side in a romance.  But, the
way I determine whether or not I'll do something is to put myself into
the place of that person.  Would I like to have someone persue my SO?  How
would I feel if she left me for someone else?  How would I know that she
would have stayed with me if he hadn't come around?

Personally, I wouldn't want someone to persue my SO.  If she left me for
someone else, I'd be hurt much more than if she just said things weren't
working out and that she wanted to take time off from dating.  It's not
easy to be told that 'you aren't as good as this other person', but it does
and could happen.  Lastly, I don't know if she would have left me on her
own.  But I'd rather her be able to decide on her onw that it was me that
she didn't like (or that we weren't 'compatible' or whatever) than to have
someone else helping her with the decision and having alterior motives.
 
>My advice to you...........do what you feel is right.  If the person
>already involved (whether they be engaged, married, dating,....) is 
>interested in accepting your flirtations, they obviously are for
>one reason or another.  Could be because they are not really happy
>with their current situation, or maybe they just like the extra

If they aren't happy in their situation, then it is time to break up
or get a divorce.  If they want extra attention, buy a damned puppy
dog!

>attention.  Whether they want this to interfere with their situation,
>that's their choice.  If it causes their current situation to end,

What about the choice of the other person that is involved with the
person you are wooing??  I guess their feelings don't matter.  Seems mighty
selfish and inhuman, to me.

>that the chance the chose to take.  If you are willing to put up with
>being juggled with someone else, you decide if it's worth it.

We all know that it comes down to everyones "personal opinion" about
what to do in these kinds of cases.  In these cases, right and wrong are
defined by the person who makes the decision.

Just remember, you aren't the only one that has to live with the 
consequences of your actions.  All the people involved in the relationship
that is broken up (depending on the stage ie married, engaged, dating) are
going to be affected in some way.

	Bill

---
I don't believe in the stars or the planets or angels watching from
above, but I believe there's a Ghost of a Chance, we can find someone to
love and make it last...