From: banta@blagg.Eng.Sun.COM (242 lbs before cooking)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Re: Lust from afar
Date: 13 Apr 92 15:43:56 GMT
Organization: Sun, Moon, and Stars
NNTP-Posting-Host: blagg

Fooling nobody, (sonJa Kueppers) writes:

>Try socks from the GAP.  I've had some of my GAP socks for nearly 5
>years, and they have yet to get any holes in them.  (I mean the standard
>GAP socks, not the fancy kind.  The standard ones come in an astonishing
>array of colors, and can usually be found at half price (about $2, rather
>than the usual $4) at the end of the season.

A pretty lame attempt, J.  Creating new personas for yourself, and
*peeving about the same shit* is pretty pointless in my book.  If you
think the ploy of creating a name not begining with J would hide your
fluff, you're mistaken.  And you just couldn't resist that urge to get
a J in there somewhere, could you (see above)?

>AntiPeeve: My most favorite shirt was given to me by an ex-boyfriend
>4 years ago when I didn't have anything to cover myself with at his
>apartment, and it's still wearable.  (In fact, I'm wearing it.)

Cute.  And for her next performance, sonJa will attempt the hair flip
with giggle.  This move has a 6 point degree of difficulty.

>It's even worse when you're a member of a "liberal" student group, such
>as the Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Student Alliance here at PSU.

MOMMMMMIIEEEE! <sniff> They're pickin' on me 'cuz I'm trying to be
politically correct.  Waah!

>(Incidentally, I changed my voter registration from Republican to Democrat
>specifically for this primary.  I'm actually a Libertarian, so I have no
>sincere party affiliation either way.)

Mr. Sorenson:  Please note, the above is an example of the
hillbilly-speak I mentioned in private mail.  To those interested, I
typified hillbilly-speak as enthusiatic and protracted discussions of
the arcane.

sonJa:  Who cares?

>Peeve: When people assume you're being nice to show your solidarity with
>other women, rather than because you're a nice *person*

Check it out!  Another "nice" girl.  Are you, by any chance, a "nice,"
church-going girl that swallows?  How about a nice, church-going,
swallowing-but-never-slurping, white cotton pantied, crisp silk over
erect nippled, lights out at night only, melts for a Scottish accent,
confession every Tuesday girl?

>Example2: Earlier this week, I was in a computer lab, and I helped
>a woman at great length with setting up a table in MacWord.  In the course
>of the conversation, she said, "you're really great.  I think it's really
>important that we women stick together, don't you?"

If that's really a problem, water dissolves most of the bodily fluids
that'll stick you together.  It's obvious, sonJa.  This woman knew
your affiliation with the LGBSA and was interested in some serious
muffin munching.  An attempt to jaw victory from the snatch of defeat.

>Antipeeve: Today's weather was ...
>[4 more lines]
>Peeve: Instead of alternating between days ...
>[2 more lines]

Enthusiastic.  Protracted.  Arcane.

>Peeve2: People who are language weenies like me, except in slightly
>different ways.  :-)

I thought we went over this with you once before, J.  Or do we have to
do it separately for each facade?

>AntiPeeve: That I'm going to experience people having sex in about 48
>hours. ;-)

Are you like gonna be there for the bed-side, blow-by-blow <heh>
commentary and the post-coitus interview?

J: "So it looked like a tough one out there today, Bob.  How do you
feel about your final arc of jism?"

Bob: "Well, <pant> first, I'd like to thank to thank K*Y, Ramses, and
the JCPenney White Sale for making this event possible.  It was a
tough match, but after the foreplay, I really found my groove and
enjoyed when Sally started lapping up semen like a kitten under
a cow's udder."

>(Incidentally, my fiance and I are both 5'8".  I wear bigger shoes, hats,
> gloves, rings, and clothes than he does.  Though in a private setting,
> I look cute in his t-shirts...  ;-)

This mean he won't even stretch out your underthings when he parades
around in them while you aren't there.

>(How do I know this?  Because I was one of the girls he was supposedly
>hitting on.  He told me about it.  I'm pretty sure he isn't romantically
>interested in me; we just enjoy making fun of each other.  :-)

Pardon me.  Your niavete is showing.

drew
banta@abingdon.sun.com
--
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die your    
soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."