From: thaaang@cwis.unomaha.edu (John Dorrance)
Subject: Re: WARNING: Stealth African Marauding soc.motss
Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha
Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1992 08:33:46 GMT

anthropo@carina.unm.edu (Dominick V. Zurlo) writes:

thaaang@cwis.unomaha.edu (John Dorrance) writes:

>>Why do people find it hard to understand it when Donald says he has
>>reservations about trusting white strangers when first meeting them?
>>Don't you throw your guard up whenever you run into some guy who seems
>>to be cut from the 'have a beer, watch some football, pork some babes'

> Actaully, no, for me I am completely open and don't hide at all.  

Maybe so. But when confronted with such obviously, hopelessly straight
(and probably clueless) types, aren't you at least more *aware* of your
differences? Aren't you at least *prepared* for them to flaunt stupidity,
and possibly to spew hate when confronted with the facts of your exist-
ance? For your differences to come bubbling up to the surface like
something that matters? You'd have to be really foolish (or at least
*extremely* naieve and unaware of the ways of the world) not to.

>>(find the concept of getting into a closet repulsive? Donald does too.)
> Because I refuse to get in the closet.  ANd I've had my battles as most
>everyone else to show for it.  

Exactly. If you want to be true to yourself you have to be prepared for
trouble because there are too many stupid people in this world who are
willing to hate at the drop of a hat. Once they've proven themselves as
cool, you can relax, but you have to make sure that you're going to be
okay first.

>>(and isn't it annoying when straight friends know you're queer, but
>>choose to make it a non-issue, pretending instead that you're just
>>asexual so they don't have to confront their prejudices? When they're
>>embarassed, but don't really take it seriously when they call someone
>>a queer and you object ('well, it slipped! Please, I didn't mean it
>>*that* way.)? Donald does too.)
> It is annoying, and I don't put up with it. If they can't accept me
>for who I am then they aren't real friends.  My being gay isn't all of me, 
>but it is a significant part of me, and a part I'm happy about.  

Exactly. This is why it can be upsetting for nonwhite people whose white
friends, rather than accepting their differences, decide to discount
that part of their lives in order to make them more palatable. They
think they're cutting their 'imperfect' friends a break, when really
they're just facilitating their own stupidity.

>>John, hippetyhopping along scattering clues for good little boys and
>>girls to find under trees and in tufts of grass
> Well, to also respond a bit to the previous post of your on this, no one
>has told Donald (and I hope you're reading this too DOnald) to suppress
>or get rid of his hate and anger, but to learn how to deal with it and
>use it constructively.

Not. People keep telling him he *shouldn;t* be feeling the way he is
to begin with; that he's imagining all of it (well, maybe not around
him, but certainly it can't be all *that* bad, and don't even *suggest*
that we've done anything wrong).

>And to stop bashing other people willy-nilly.  

Double not. I admit I want to hear more about the specifics of the
creep he bashed (please, Donald. How long, exactly, had this stuff
been going on? Had he ever gotten violent with you before? Where
did this all take place, and why'd you have the bat with you? Did
you get hurt too in the altercation? I'm not asking this accusingly,
I just want to know more of the specifics.), but it sounds to me
like this guy(and some friends)'d been harassing Donald for a long
time. Donald isn't just bashing whites.

>No one has said that racism doesn't exist (unless I missed something) 
>no one is trying to lessen the impact of racism on others, but pointing

'Hey, I'm a (whatever) and my group used to be oppressed, too...'

>out that running around and screaming "Your a racist becuase your so  and
>so...." isn't going to help any and will only turn away people who would be 
>a help otherwise.

I don't think Donald's trying to win friends, here; I think he's trying
to get the people who'll listen to him to confront the prejudices with-
in themselves. It's easy enough to say you don't discriminate, but you
have to dig to find the rotten stuff, and some people just aren't willing
to do that.

>More than one person has suggested professional help,
>but apparently DOnald doesn't want or can't do that, for whatever reason, 
>but I would urge that he does get help, otherwise his hate will consume him.
>I've seen it happen before, especially where I work in a drug and alcohol
>clinic.  It's sad, it's depressing, and it happens.  

I agree with you here. But has Donald explicitly said he won't get
help?

--
John Dorrance * Alleged Homosexual/Shameless Hussy * thaaang@cwis.unomaha.edu

			Dark. Handsome. 6 feet tall.
		  31 flavors? I believe he's got 'em all!