HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com (Craig Becker)
Subject: Re: pre-teen sex play
Originator: jlpicard@woofer.austin.ibm.com
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 15:07:28 GMT
Reply-To: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com
Organization: IBM Object Technology Products


janem@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com (Jane Marcus) writes:
> While I'm sure this activity falls into the normal category, I think
> that it's important to discuss it with your sister-in-law.  It's hard
> to tell from your description what the kids were doing and how much they
> were acting as partners.  When there are sex partners involved, then
> it is imperative that talks about AIDS and safe sex begin if they have
> not already.  Parents are often the last people to see their kids as
> sexual beings, and your sister-in-law needs to be alerted to the fact
> that its time for some serious sex education.  Unfortunately, the
> thread of AIDS makes it unwise to ignore evidence of sexual play.

While I can understand your concern about AIDS and all, I don't
think this is particularly good advice. The boys in the original
post were, what, 11 years old? And while you could argue that kids
are having sex earlier&earlier, I would counter-argue that telling
an 11 year old boy's mother that you saw him engaged in sexplay with
one of his male friends would be _A LOT_ more harmful than helpful...
as one poster previously mentioned, this sort of thing is really 
common at that age (I did it myself), but it's not the kind of thing
a parent wants to be confrontational about (unless the kid starts 
doing it at the dinner table or something)(even now, at my advanced 
age of 33, I'm mortified to think of how my mom would have reacted
if I'd been caught; probably would have warped me for life).

Perhaps a "stealthy" approach would do the most good: instead of
"You know, I saw your son engaged in mutual masturbation with his
friend William", how about "You know, your son's 11 years old now...
I read something somewhere about how that's about when boys start
discovering their sexuality etc. With AIDS and all, maybe you and
his father should consider having "a little talk" with him about
sex."

Craig

Not the opinion of my employer.
-- 
-- "You will have the tallest,    Craig Becker, Object Technology Products --
--  darkest leading man in               Internet: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com --
--  Hollywood."                     IBM TR: jlpicard@woofer.austin.ibm.com --
--   - Merian C. Cooper to Fay Wray               VNET: JLPICARD at AUSVM1 --
From: lauraf@classy.Jpl.Nasa.Gov (Laura Floom)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: RECIPES NEEDED FOR FUSSY EATERS
Date: 22 Jan 1993 04:26:16 GMT
Organization: Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, CA
NNTP-Posting-Host: classy.jpl.nasa.gov

In article <C18Eq5.1CH@srgenprp.sr.hp.com> brett@sr.hp.com () writes:
>Nancy M. Schnepp (ns@bohr.physics.purdue.edu) wrote:
>> I have two fussy eaters, ages 7 and 11.  I am very tired
>> of the spaghettios or macaroni and cheese suppers.  
>
>I realize this may sound a bit cold, but is there anything wrong with giving
>them what everyone else is having and if they don't want it they go hungry?
>
>I'm not suggesting you give it to them cold for breakfast, they just don't
>get any snacks or treats until the next scheduled meal.
>
>Hunger can be a good motivator to eat.  Besides, I doubt any kid in modern
>developed country is going to suffer any physical harm from missing a
>few dinners (and a kid in a famine area isn't going to be fussy about what
>he/she gets to eat).
>
Everything that is served in our house is something that both my husband and
I like. It makes sense, we both decide on the menus, and share in the cooking
and shopping. My son doesnt really have the same input (he isnt quite 3). I
am trying to envision a scenario where I decide to cook something for dinner
that my husband doesnt like, and I know that, but refuse to consider it in 
the meal plan. Nor, would I allow him to go to the fridge and get something
that is more palatable to him. Doesnt sound like a good idea. 

Trying to apply the same thing to the kids, the alternative would be to only
serve things that they approve of. That isnt a good idea, cause there is a 
limit to how much 'kid' food, most adults are going to tolerate. The things
kids do like tend to be simple to prepare. I honestly dont see a problem in
considering thier needs, as well as the parent needs when planning meals. That
of course is assumning that the kids arent being unreasonable about their
requests.

Laura Floom
From: bh437292@longs.LANCE.ColoState.Edu (Basil Hamdan)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: More humorous developmental milestones
Date: 26 Jan 93 18:10:56 GMT
Reply-To: bh437292@lance.colostate.edu
Organization: Engineering College, Colorado State University

In article <1993Jan25.204819.864214@locus.com>, judy@locus.com (Judy Tryer) writes:
|> Creative:
|> 	By age 3 your child should have colored at least one wall and
|> 	some irreplacable piece of clothing with permanent magic marker.


ARRRRGHHHH.  My daughter made the cut just this past weekend at 34 months
when she coulored my favorite shirt with a shiny orange marker.


|> Verbal:
|> 	By age 4 your child should know exactly which bad word should not be
|> 	said in front of which grandparent and test the theory to be sure his
|> 	parents aren't lying to him.	

I wanted to ask about this one.  What is the best way to handle bad words ?
should I make a big deal of them, or ignore them and hope she will "forget".
Somehow, the surrounding culture seems to reinforce their acceptability

Basil

|> -- 
|> Judy Leedom Tyrer
|> 
|> "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"	- William Blake
From: tbachman@hamline.edu. (Toni Bachmann)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: stepparenting
Date: 27 Jan 93 21:46:32 GMT
Organization: Hamline University, St. Paul, Minnesota. [The Little U]

In article <1993Jan27.194914.15578@chpc.utexas.edu> jbyrd@chpc.utexas.edu (Jan Byrd) writes:
>
> and one of the many things he did 
>right was he didn't REQUIRE his stepchildren to call him "Dad", much as 

I am a step-mother to three boys (who live with us) when we got them, they
were 3, 4, 6 years old - we had a long drive to pick them up (4 hours)
and about 1/2 way home they asked me if they could call me mom - that is
the ultimate "acceptance" in my book - I also knew them quite well by the
time we got custody.

Toni
Organization: Student Employment Office, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
From: valjorge@leapyear.EBay.Sun.COM (Valerie Jorge)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: FAQ on Sibling Spacing
Date: 21 Jan 1993 23:36:38 GMT
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Mt. View, Ca.
Distribution: na
NNTP-Posting-Host: leapyear.ebay.sun.com

Can someone send me the FAQ on sibling spacing?
I can't get mail to the person who keeps the FAQ.

Thanks

Valerie
From: biddleco@mizar.usc.edu (Susan Biddlecomb)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Cute things they say (3 y.o.)
Date: 21 Jan 1993 09:27:34 -0800
Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: mizar.usc.edu


Angelica often acts up when I get home from work. Her dad insists it's 
intentional, I figure it's because she's tired. She often gets a short
stint in the 'tantrum room' or sitting still on the bed in the evening.

Last night, we had an unexpected urgent plumbing problem which required 
me to hold up the sink basin (sans pedistal) while Angelica's dad fixed
the pipes. Angelica kept trying to wedge herself between us, move the
stool I was bracing my leg on, etc. so she could 'help'. Repeated requests
to stand behind up went ignored, so I finally told her to go sit on the 
bed and watch TV until we were done fixing the sink.

In a perfectly innocent voice she said, "But mommy, I wasn't _trying_
to be bad!"

(Proved her daddy's point pertty well .....)

Susan
From: llk@pyrxbooter.eng.pyramid.com (Lynn Lassalle-Klein)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: FAQs for New Parents-to-be
Date: 20 Jan 93 19:13:02 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Pyramid Technology

I just found out I'm pregnant (my husband are I are THRILLED --
it's our first baby), and I'd appreciate receiving and FAQs that
might be helpful at this stage.  

Lynn
Newsgroups: misc.kids,sco.kids
From: romal@sco.COM (Romal Levy)
Subject: Driving to Tahoe
Organization: The Santa Cruz Operation, Inc.
Distribution: ca
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 19:40:12 GMT


Hi Folks,

I'm going to be driving from Santa Cruz (Monterey Bay area)
to Tahoe this weekend with my 3yo.  (Daddy's coming this
time, too.)  Can anyone suggest places to stop along the
way to break up the drive?  We'll be taking 880 to Livermore
then cutting over to Sacramento, then on to Hwy 80.

Does anyone know of a Burger King or McDonald's along the
way with a play area?  Any other interesting stops?  Please
send email -- I rarely have time to read news anymore.

Thanks!

Roma
romal@sco.com
From: larrabee@cse.ucsc.edu (Tracy Larrabee)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: A few facts about circumcision
Date: 22 Jan 1993 00:38:08 GMT
Organization: University of California, Santa Cruz (CE/CIS Boards)
NNTP-Posting-Host: arapaho.ucsc.edu

In article <1993Jan21.210044.26429@news.acns.nwu.edu> connie@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Constance Stillinger) writes:
>In <1993Jan21.162656.6962@cbnews.cb.att.com> lib@cbnews.cb.att.com (Lib) writes:
>
>>In article <1993Jan20.202617.2000@news.acns.nwu.edu>
>>alper@sushi.psych.nwu.edu (Theodore M. Alper) writes:
>    >>
>    >>2) Anecdotal evidence seems to indicate that, in later years, my son 
>    >>   stands a better chance of finding others willing to perform oral sex 
>    >>   upon him should he be circumcised. ...
>    >>  
>>Run that by me again. You're saying that there are a reasonable amount
>>of women who, assuming they are at a level of involvement with a man
>>that they will consider fellating him, change their minds based on the
>>fact that a guy is uncircumcised? Does anybody else think that?
>
>*Lots* of women I know think so.  But the percentage goes down
>somewhat if the guy in question has just stepped out of the shower and
>you know he's cleaned under his foreskin.  Not the usual context for
>sex, though.
>
>Love conquers all but the gag reflex.
>

Why am I doing this?  Sometimes I have no sense.  But here goes:

Are these women just imagining things, or have they actually been with
uncircumcized men?  Thinking back to my single days... I had partners
both cut and uncut, and although I was at first kind of put off by the
first uncut guy, I quickly learned that there was no problem.  In
fact, lots of things were mechanically easier.  I developed the
opinion that if most men had had no foreskins thousands of years ago,
nature would have selected for the men who had them because they would
have had more women seeking their attentions.  (Ok, that last was
tongue-in-cheek because no sensible person selects a mate based on
such a thing, but a little over-statement to get the point across
seemed in order.  I understand it is an opinion, and I know various
other women hold the opposite opinion.)

Personally, I have no desire to harass others for practices they see
as vital to their religious lives.  I don't want to ever argue with
anyone else who decided to circumcise his or her son.  Likewise, I was
pretty offended by a family friend who wanted to imply that I was being
irresponsible by not having my son circumcized (so, are all the other 
doctors in the western world irresponsible?).

--
Tracy Larrabee		larrabee@cse.ucsc.edu
From: scott@Apple.COM (scott douglass)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: What kind of car do you drive/3 kids
Date: 26 Jan 93 08:14:18 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

>In article <SKATZ.93Jan21124023@kariba.bbn.com> skatz@bbn.com (Susan Katz)
>writes:
>
>   > What kind of car do you drive with 3 kids--all of whom are in
>   > car seats?  There will be 2 Fisher Price carseats and a century
>   > infant seat (rear facing).  Other car concerns are price and
>   > repair record.
>

We have the same thing -- two in F-P's and one in an infant seat.  Actually,
she's outgrown that and is in a borrowed 5-pointer but anyway....

We tried a lot of cars and the only one that worked was the Taurus/Sable
wagon.  The Volvo almost fit three seats, but they banged together
when you shut the door and I could just imagine the baby screaming
every time!  The Sable wagon has room to spare, plus the way-back
seat for friends.

We didn't liek vans for many reasons, not the least of which was that
most don't have three across the middle -- you would have to split
the kids between the middle and back.

		--  maggie

PS  Chack consumer Reports.  I think it does pretty well.

-- 
				--scott douglass
Any opinions above may be mine and are not necessarily those of Apple Computer.
domain: scott@apple.com  UUCP: {nsc, sun, voder, well, dual}!apple!scott
CSNet: scott@Apple.CSNet  AppleLink: Douglass1
From: b97289@asbt01.gedlab.allied.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Arizona Ashma Attacks "4 yr old"
Date: 26 Jan 93 12:59:53 -0700
Distribution: na
Organization: ASAC, GED, Phoenix, Az

My 4 year old boy has had ashma for about 2 years now and i was just
>>>>
         
thanks for the reply, i tried to reply via mail but i don;t think it got
through, the one thing i haven't done is check into a allergist, or should i
exspect my doctor to recommend one ? if my boy's asthma was really serious 
shouldn't my doctor of told us of his conditions ,at the least ? i just saw in
the news that the big cities are now explaining that the "brown cloud" that
hangs over the city, is one of the major factors to the increase in everybodies 
health problems, i hope you get better.....have fun......
From: babb@k2 (Scott Babb)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Girls names - "M"
Date: 27 Jan 93 18:40:05 GMT
Organization: Lockheed Sanders
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]

I knew a lovely young lady in Hawaii named Mailia (my-LEE-ah).
I also knew a Hawaiian gril named Maile (MY-lee).
You would probably find many Hawaiian "M" names for maybe-daughter.

--
   Lockheed Sanders may disagree so these are solely the opinions of:
             Scott L. Babb - babb@rapnet.sanders.lockheed.com
              "We didn't inherit the Earth from our parents,
                   we are borrowing it from our children."
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: mwalker@taimyr.Colorado.EDU (Marilyn Walker)
Subject: Short-term babysitting in Norway and Sweden
Organization: University of Colorado at Boulder
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 20:54:06 GMT

I am thinking of making a business trip to Uppsala, Sweden and Oppdal, Norway
in May or August, at which time my son Daniel will be 6 or 10 months old.
I plan to spend about one week in each place.  In Sweden I will be editing
some materials, and in Norway I will attend a meeting.  I read the recent
summary about meetings with interest, as I often travel to give papers.

My question today is about obtaining child care in those localities.  Are
there agencies that can arrange care, and if so do you know the approximate
cost?  Can most large hotels arrange babysitting?  Any advice or information
that you can give would be greatly appreciated.

Marilyn Walker
mwalker@taimyr.colorado.edu
From: atwater@cgl.ucsf.edu (Susan Atwater)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Things They Say (three years old)
Date: 25 Jan 93 18:58:21 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: UCSF Computer Graphics Lab
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]

My three-year-old son and I were in the car, when I noticed the smell of
skunk.

"I smell skunk!" he said.

I do too, I replied.

"Somebody's cooking some skunk!" was his conclusion.  

What a thought!
From: lynnef@tekig1.PEN.TEK.COM (Lynne Axel Fitzsimmons)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: More humorous developmental milestones
Date: 26 Jan 93 19:33:46 GMT
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Beaverton,  OR.

In article <1993Jan25.204819.864214@locus.com> judy@locus.com (Judy Tryer) write
s:
>Creative:
>       By age 3 your child should have colored at least one wall and
>       some irreplacable piece of clothing with permanent magic marker.


Brian ""decorated" one wall of his room when he was 3 or 4.  I finally got
tired of scrubbing the crayon off and just left it.  He is 6 now, and
when HE gets tired of it, he can scrub it off and we will repaint.  (He
will probably want something other than crayon design wallpaper borders
marching around his room also).
--
Lynne Fitzsimmons		lynnef@tekig1.pen.tek.com

"Second star on the right and straight on till morning" - Barrie, Pan, Kirk
From: janem@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com (Jane Marcus)
Date: Tue, 19 Jan 1993 16:13:05 GMT
Subject: Re: pre-teen sex play
Organization: HP Fort Collins, Co.
Newsgroups: misc.kids

While I'm sure this activity falls into the normal category, I think
that it's important to discuss it with your sister-in-law.  It's hard
to tell from your description what the kids were doing and how much they
were acting as partners.  When there are sex partners involved, then
it is imperative that talks about AIDS and safe sex begin if they have
not already.  Parents are often the last people to see their kids as
sexual beings, and your sister-in-law needs to be alerted to the fact
that its time for some serious sex education.  Unfortunately, the
thread of AIDS makes it unwise to ignore evidence of sexual play.

my 2 cents,
Jane Marcus
jane@apollo.hp.com
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: carnes@ico.isc.com (Steve Carnes)
Subject: Re: Baby Bath Frequency (was Re: Starting bedtime rituals (Was: ...)
Organization: Interactive Systems Corp., Boulder CO
Distribution: usa
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1993 23:47:17 GMT

Greta (16 mos) gets a bath *every* night.  It's part of the evening ritual
for both of us: she gets wet and clean, and I get wet.  But we also play,
make a lot of noise, and use the time to learn things.  She knows all the
parts of her face, plus her belly and toes, and has begun the process of
transferring water from one cup to another.  To alleviate dry skin,
afterwards I put baby lotion on her legs and arms and we run a Bionaire
humidifier in her room all night long.
-- 
Steve Carnes       carnes@ico.isc.com        uucp: {ncar,nbires}!ico!carnes
   "Rock gives reality to the otherwise abstract notion of transhuman
    time." - Edward Abbey
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: AMY.UHRBACH@OFFICE.WANG.COM ("Amy Uhrbach")
Subject: reading, giftedness, etc.
Organization: Mail to News Gateway at Wang Labs
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 18:19:08 GMT

Regarding Kenneth Staffan's post on a linguistically advanced child and Grace
Sylvan's response:  I agree, you DO need to pay attention to this kind of
observation about your child (although you may not like the word gifted).
The good news is, by age 2+ there is a clear correlation between advanced
facility with language and high intelligence (but NO correlation between
average and slower language learners either way).  The not-so-good news is you
have to watch out for your child's responses to kids who aren't as verbal.  I
and now my son have the same issue.  I was very verbal, and had a hard time
with peers who couldn't follow my reasoning or vocabulary.  My friends were
always older, which wasn't so great in grade school (but now is fine - my
husband is older, too :-)).  Alex tends to get very frustrated when kids are
less verbal, or ignores them when they don't understand him.  A developmental
evaluation (for other reasons) pinpointed another issue - he understands
concepts and especially rules precociously, and gets very upset when other
kids don't play by them!  He IS different in these ways, and ignoring that is
not going to help him deal with himself and others.  Gee, I hope he does
better at that than I did! :-)

Also be aware that a very verbal kid is expected to be bright (by teachers,
etc.).  This could affect the self-esteem of kids who aren't as quick in other
subjects as their verbal skills leads the teacher to think they should be.

It all depends on the kid's personality too.  The more easy-going, the better
a child may cope with this, I think (neither I nor my son is exactly
easy-going).  The degree of precosiousness also matters.  We had to switch
nurseries for Alex last July because he had no one to talk to except adults,
and it drove him to stop interacting with other kids.  At age 2 1/2 then, his
language skills (except pronunciation, which was a year advanced) were tested
at the 5+ level.  He still won't play with kids who can't converse, but at
least with some real peers now, his social skills with kids have developed.
BTW, he IS with kids his own age, which I feel is very important.

So revel in whatever your child's talents are, and help them keep gifts
positive.
Newsgroups: misc.kids
From: day_kevran@tandem.com (Kevran Day )
Subject: Re: mini-pills and nursing
Followup-To: misc.kids
Organization: Tandem Computers, Inc.
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 00:31:09 GMT

In article <1jkchcINN6nl@male.EBay.Sun.COM>, valjorge@leapyear.EBay.Sun.COM
(Valerie Jorge) wrote:

> I got my first period (while exclusively nursing) exactly 4 months
> after my son was born.  I too am curious about others.  I was hoping
> it wouldn't return for a while longer.  What has been the experience
> of others?  Was is similar or different for subsequent pregnancies?
> 
> Valerie

After having my son, nursing exclusively - 3.5 months.  This time,
nursing exclusively - 2 months  :-(!

Kevran (mom to Jason - 2.5YO and Kylie 3MO)
day_kevran@tandem.com
From: linda@linda.intel.com (Linda Harbin)
Newsgroups: misc.kids
Subject: Re: Leaving kids alone
Date: 21 Jan 93 18:39:59 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp

In article <cathe.727486523@xanadu>, cathe@xanadu.ucsb.edu (Cathe Gordon) writes:
|> On a related subject, I'm curious at what age people feel
|> that their own kids are "old enough" to do something very
|> responsible at home alone or perhaps away from home.  It
|> seems as though times are very different now from when I
|> was a young teenager (only 16 years).  When I was 13, my
|> mother thought I was old enough and responsible enough to
|> travel to Denmark (I used babysitting money to fund it
|> completely) on my own to visit my penpal for 2 months.
|> I can't imagine MY child (well, they're not quite teenagers :-)  )
|> doing that these days.  Have the times just changed or are
|> children being raised to be less responsible, do you think?
|> Of all the children and young adults over 10 that I know, only
|> one seems as responsible as the many teens when I was a teen.
|> 
I remember over 30 years ago, my sister, brother and I (sister was 5, I was
6, and brother was 8) went to my grandparents house via Greyhound bus by 
ourselves.  The trip was about 1.5 hours.  The bus made stops, but no changes.
We were given instructions NOT to get off the bus until we saw Grandma and
Grandad at the destination bus depot.  Everything SHOULD have been fine; but
the bus broke down half way there.  We were determined not to get off the bus
but after a short time and after the temperature in the broken-down bus reached
over 100 deg, the bus driver and an elderly grandmother-type lady finally
convinced us to get off the bus and go into the depot where it was cool.  This
elderly lady took us under her wings the remainder of the trip.  

The normal 1.5 hour trip took over 4 hours.  When Mom did not get a call from
Grandma that we had arrived safely at the time she expected, she panicked and
started calling my Grandparents (who weren't home because they were at the
depot waiting for us).  Everything turned out ok, we finally arrived safely,
and had a great 2-week vacation with my Grandparents.  

I have often thought of sending Andrea (7-yrs) to my brothers via bus (no train
or plane service to the small town where he lives) so she could spend a week
with her cousins, but I hesitate sending her all that way by herself.  I
consider her responsible but I don't know if she is THAT responsible to travel
hours on a bus by herself.  I try not to be too protective over her (her
father is protective for both of us :-)) because I want to her learn what the
real world is like and learn to take care of herself.  If it weren't for the
crazies in this world, our life would be a lot simpler!


***************************************************
	Linda Harbin       Hillsboro, Oregon 
	503-696-2261       linda@littlei.intel.com
***************************************************