From: kannan@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Kannan Subramanian)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian
Subject: "Dream Team" Excesses
Date: 15 Sep 92 16:24:04 GMT
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO  80523


Clarification :  As reported before in the archives, there are two 
		 Ramesh-es in circulation on the Front Range. Possibly
		 four. For brevity, but clearly not for clarity, they
		 will all be referred to henceforth as simply Ramesh. 

		 Disputes as to which is 'the' Ramesh and which is 
		 the 'other' have not been settled at the time of
		 going to press. 

	                   Some "Dream Team!"
		           ------------------

Sometimes, you wanna go where everybody knows your name. At the James Pub in 
Boulder, Colorado, (as on SCI) it helps if your name is Ramesh. Here everybody
knows Ramesh. The other name that is well known in these parts, as you've
probably guessed by now, is Ramesh. If your name is not Ramesh, it is usually
forgotten quickly, because after all, as you've just confessed (and due 
credit to you here), it is not Ramesh. 

"Hey Ramesh!" says Angelo (the manager), who, if you're not careful, will
pull up a chair and take off on his never ending tales of scuba diving in the 
South China seas. (Once that happens, there's no stopping him.)

"Hey Angelo" says Ramesh cautiously, in a tone which conveys to the dullest 
intelligence that monologues on scuba diving, whatever you might say, are an
over rated pastime. The message between the syllables is quite clear. 
No Angelo, not tonite. 

"Hey Ramesh!" continues Angelo undaunted. 
"Hey Angelo" says Ramesh (the other one). "Table for five, possibly seven"
he adds crisply. 

Minutes later, the rest of our party arrives and somehow there are eight 
of us hollering for food and spirits in the smoking section. Some SCIers 
and some seers. 

"Paul" says Paul Icarus Chemmanoor as I shake his hand assuring him that
it is nice to meet him. And Rajan Parrikar announces that he is Rajan 
Parrikar. The air is thick with sounds of introduction and the blur of 
handshakes and at this point, Ramesh forgets his name and announces that he
is Kannan. Nobody is more surprised than I, for when I last checked, it was
not his name but mine. That this was happening before the first swig of the 
evening did strike a chord of alarm in me. 

After a round of bass ale and lemon shandy, I call it quits and remove the
car keys from Ramesh's possession. Paul meanwhile is only getting warmed up.
"This is too funny!" he says in his prelude to funny story # 167 and proceeds   
to make several expansive remarks about something or the other. (After the 
first 166 times, I begin to see a pattern in this whole thing. Turns out,
that's his favorite expression.) SCI, BJP & George Chacko figure in the 
yarn somewhere. Ram Lakhan also finds mention. Meanwhile Rajan is stuffing his 
face with a vegetarian sandwich as are we with artichokes or something. 

Ramesh, is guzzling steadily. Ramesh (the 'other' one) is also steadily guzzling
and enthralls us with tales of his youth. "Do you know," he says with a 
faraway look in his eyes, "when I came to this country, there was only one
breakfast cereal available?"

"Which one?" we ask in (breathless) unision. 

"Cornflakes" is the wistful verdict, and we are all very impressed. 

"When did you come here?" asks Kartik, (joined by Anurag), who have been
here for five months only (on a "software project.")

"Oh, I am a 'Mayflower' desi!" says Ramesh, with nonchalance calculated to 
raise his stock higher while not treading too hard on our inexperience. 

Tall tales are then told about Madurai and Kerala in turn, in an attempt to
figure out which one of the two is the 'real' center of the universe. I sneak
in my favorite story about how some cops once searched my car for bazookas.
Rajan demands to know what, if anything, is wrong with starting a Hindu 
university. Ramesh orders more beer. (Paul ends up drinking it.) Ravi chips in
with stories of Nigeria, Virginia and Non-Linear Control. 

By 0130 hours, chaos reigns. I forgot to tell you that Ramesh quit smoking. 
Ditto with Ramesh. Both, however, refuse to follow this path of abstinence on
the matter of singing. As in bursting into song without warning. As a direct
consequence, of course, untold grief results. Ramesh could not sing to save 
his life. Armed with the terms "Mohanam" and "Kalyani", (& strictly nothing but
these), he is not only our resident classicist, but also seeks to identify
and reproduce these strains with a flourish and abandon that are hard to
match. 

Future visitors to the James are likely to be accosted with the query,
"Singing or non?" and if you're one of them, instead of blinking sheepishly, 
I suggest that you shake your head firmly. "Nyet!" is the correct response 
to that one. 

                          -- x --

PS - The blue Mazda that sped into the night, however, was a singing section
     to beat all. For a less sanitized version of the night's excesses, apply
     in triplicate to either Icarus or Mahadevan Ramesh. For quick service,
     do not staple the contents. 
Newsgroups: soc.culture.indian