From: scottk@cs.umd.edu (Scott King Walker)
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
Subject: Karla Marie Alwan, wonderful person (was Re: um, so much for mourning)
Date: 2 Oct 92 14:52:17 GMT
Organization: U of Maryland, Dept. of Computer Science, Coll. Pk., MD 20742

In article <1992Oct2.005157.22317@spdcc.com> dyer@spdcc.com (Steve Dyer) writes:
>Maybe I'm missing something, but I have to admit that I am stunned and
>baffled by the almost complete silence to the news of Karla's death
>other than a one day period of comments of the type "we'll miss you,
>Karla--e-hugs wherever you happen to be now".  I mean, it's not as if
>she moved out of state.  Saying nothing isn't enough.

Thank you.  I am not sure quite what kind of response I was expecting,
but I didn't really seem to receive it... or maybe I did.  Most of the
BEST responses were mailed to me rather than posted.... I read them all,
and most of them helped, but I haven't been able to respond to them all.

>Also, does anyone know what happened?  Was this suicide?  An accident?
>Some disease?  

As Bradywine responds later, it was blood clots in her lungs... and I
have included at the end here the message that I wrote and asked to have
sent out to all the people in her .mailrc and anyone who sends her account
mail...  I don't know if that has been activated yet, *I* haven't received
a copy, and I think I am certainly in both her mailbox, and in her .mailrc.

When I am able to, and if I get encouragement to, I would like to post 
what I said at her memorial service....  

>Learning this won't help her, but it might be valuable
>to others here, and not simply as morbid curiosity.  This absence of
>comments seen strikes me as terribly blase, and horribly fatalistic;
>rather out of character of the aims of the group.  (Which is not to
>comment on what HAS been said--those comments are only remarkable in
>a context where NOTHING ELSE has appeared.)
>
>Even if we admit that we ultimately have no final control over what
>happens to others, someone's death in a community, even an electronic
>one, is noteworthy.  And if we can learn from that or simply express
>our sorrow, that's good too.
>
>-- 
>Steve Dyer
>dyer@ursa-major.spdcc.com aka {ima,harvard,rayssd,linus,m2c}!spdcc!dyer

==================================
Dear Friend,

	Karla Marie Alwan died early Friday morning (September 25, 1992)
in Memorial Hospital in Savannah Georgia.  She had gone in a few days
earlier with breathing problems.  They determined that she had many 
blood clots in her lungs.  They were doing everything that they could,
and she seemed to be improving.  After 2 days in Intensive Care, they 
moved her to a regular room.  She liked this and was very happy because
she was able to talk to people on the phone.  She died that night.

	Karla was buried on Tuesday (September 29, 1992) in Bonaventure
cemetary in Savannah.  Her family is looking forward to planting a 
Magnolia tree in her memory.  

	Karla's family would like you to know that she was happy at the
end of her life.  Thursday in the hospital she was happier, and more 
talkative, than they ever remember seeing her.

	I am really not sure what else to say, but you can feel free
to contact me.  My address is scottk@cs.umd.edu, and my telephone
number is (301)384-1568.  I loved Karla very much, and I am thankful
for every moment that we were able to spend together in the few months
that I knew her.  

	Karla had many things that she never got to do... but one in
particular was very important to her.  She wished to make some major
contribution towards the fight against Child Abuse of all kinds.  I
am going to continue this fight that I started with her.  You may do
with this information whatever you feel is appropriate.

Scott King Walker
(Karla's boyfriend)
September 30, 1992
Newsgroups: alt.sexual.abuse.recovery,alt.sex.bondage,alt.personals,alt.personals.ads,alt.personals.bondage,alt.personals.poly,alt.polyamory