From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Subject: Re: Gay Homophobia (was Re: Too straight looking to be gay???)
Originator: elf@halcyon.com
Reply-To: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Organization: Pendor, UnLtd.
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 1992 12:21:21 GMT

In article <1992Aug20.183940.9395@microsoft.com>
     bobsarv@microsoft.com (Bob Sarver) writes:

>(elf)
>>   I disagree, really... One way or another we have to convince the
>> hets, wherever they are, that we are just another kind of human, just
>> as reasonable as they are.

>Finally.  A small voice of reason.

   Now wait before you say that; I do time for a Speaker's Bureau,
doing "coming out" lectures to classrooms.  I bet you'd probably
identify me as "straight looking."  I tend to be several years out of
fashion, usually a day's growth of stubble on my face.  I prefer jeans
and t-shirt (or collar, if really necessary).  Most of my t-shirts tend
to feature drawings of semi-nude or fully-nude women, mostly because
I'm a big fan of Ken Sample and Brian O'Connel (two artists you've
probably never heard of) and that's what they put on T-shirts (though
if you come back to my place, I'll show you some of Ken's homoerotic
stuff... very sweet.).

   In short, I don't fit _any_ of the stereotypes you find so
distasteful, and you'd probably, at least on the surface, approve.

   I don't want your approval.

   I do this because I want to short out a few stereotypes myself.  I
want to look completely normal, because I'm not.  Period.  I'm
bisexual.  I'm married, I have a wife, and I have a boyfriend, both of
whom I love very much.  I'm also a sadomasochist.  And when I go into a
classroom full of kids to explain what it means "to be me," I emphasize
that this is "just me" talking, and I only represent myself.  You can
ask me questions about how I live my life, but there are two other gay
people with me, and their lives are totally different.

   _I_ am out to educate people; that's my self-assigned role.  I'm
loud, exhibitionistic, and good at public speaking, so I volunteer my
time and so far on five occasions (so far, I've only been at this a
few months) people have asked me to stand up and talk about what it
means to be bisexual.

   [ I should also throw in that it feeds my exhibitionistic streak. ]
   [ Just before someone else does. ]

   I want people to accept me; that's normal, everybody wants to feel
accepted.  I want them, though, to look at me and say "He looks just
like me.  Except he fucks men.  And he fucks women.  And sometimes he
enjoys getting beaten into submission."  I want them to look around
their classroom and realize that any one of them could be just like me.
Or just like some small part of me.  And maybe the nelly, campy (but
completely homosexual... and monogamous) faggot to my right is more
acceptable to them than I am.

   Diversity and integration... "We are everywhere," and the ones they
might like the least look more like them than the ones you fear the
most.

>Elf (is that really your name?) is right; sometimes the minority has to
>(unfortunately) do the education work, because the majority is fat, dumb
>and happy and won't lift a finger to educate itself.

   Write me a check and I'll show you how real it is :-).

>>   Then you want the truth, Bob?  Truth or not, your "handsome,
>>masculine, and closeted" gays are _cowards_.

>No.  They are simply being judicious about whom they associate with.

   I'm sure an ostritch sticking its head in the sand beleives it, too,
is exercising good judgement.

>Elf, do you believe that coming out of the closet can be made easier?
>If you answer "yes", then the next question is:  do we have any
>responsibility to make it easier on people?  To provide them with
>positive role models and an easy path out of the closet?

   Do I believe coming out of the closet can be made any easier?  Of
course.  Do I have a responsibility for facilitating that move?  Of
course.  But I disagree that Tracy Horne is a positive role model and
Harvey Feirstein is not.  They both have their places in the scheme of
things.

   If there _really_ are as many handsome, masculine, and closeted gays
as you claim, why don't you all do yourselves a favor?  Start with
yourself... get a bunch of NCOD cards and hand them around.  On October
11th, you can all come out of the closet, prove to the world that
"[you] are everywhere!" and make the nelly, queeny queers look like the
silly minority.

   But I know which group I'll be drinking with that night.

>If there are actions which obstruct or hinder the coming out process,
>do we continue doing them or do we back off and stop doing them?

   I will continue to act in a manner which I perceive facilitates the
greatest number of homosexuals I have encountered.  In my perception
the actions of The Homosexual Community (tm) does the greatest good for
the greatest number.  And until you can demonstrate that the cause you
champion is more in need of empowerment then the one you denigrate, I
will continue on my present course.

>>Dammit, if you want to be gay and butch, then bloody say so!  Come
>>together as a crowd and prove how you can be "manly" and still take
>>cock up your ass.  Otherwise, go home and cry in your closet.

>Always with you it's back to the sex act.  Not getting enough lately,
>Elf?

   Actually, Bob, no I'm not getting *any* for the next five weeks; I
just got a peircing in my cock, and it's going to be a while to heal.
Needless to say, both my lovers are drumming their fingers, but they're
taking it in stride.  But it's a nice surgical steel ring, and it's
very pretty.  A commitment to Brian, since he's moving away.

   And yes, it always comes back to [a] sex act.  I like being on the
top, I like being on the bottom, and dammit, I like taking it from the
side, too!

         Elf !!!

p.s.  You are correct; the Eagle did burn down a few months ago.  But
if you kept up with the news, you'd know that they're planning on
reopening.
-- 
Elf Sternberg    __   |     I have looked into the abyss, and the abyss
elf@halcyon.com  \/   | has looked into me.  Neither liked what we saw.
elf@polari.online.com |                              - Brother Theodore