HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu (have clue, will travel)
Subject: Re: Short shameful confession
Reply-To: jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu
Organization: The Ghost Of Christmas Past Society
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 05:04:37 GMT


kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius) writes:
>jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu (have clue, will travel) writes:
>>I am the romantic equivalent of a backgrounded process.

>A real daemon in bed?

>Ha, ha.  Kill me now.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

that's not what I meant, and it's making me laugh instead of going off and
sulking properly over the events that made me post that in the FIRST PLACE.

look, now, you've gone and ruined a perfectly good angst-fest.

someday, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to have that red light implanted
in my forehead that will flash whenever I'm walking into lines like these.

	     ---jeff "have it circled in the X Industries catalog" c., ncsu 


--
     jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu    \\---//  have clue, will travel.
       ---------------------------------------------------
     It's time to see the world / It's time to kiss the girl
              It's time to cross the wild meridian
  Grab your bag and take a chance / Time to learn a Cajun dance
             Kid, you're gonna see the morning sun... 
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: kschnitz@encore.com (Kevin Schnitzius)
Subject: Re: short shameful confession
Organization: Encore Computer Corporation
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1992 03:19:15 GMT

fulton@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Ben Fulton) writes:
>of a Chevy Cordoba, 

Sorry to be such a pain in the ass, but Cordoba was built by Chrysler and
was appointed with "Richh Corinthian Leather."
--
!cat .signature
From: operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: subjects are very unnecessary
Date: 13 Dec 1992 21:38:35 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: salmon.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

Let me tell you about this guy in my economics class.

He comes in babbling to a friend of his about how the
cubs did this fifteen years ago and how they hired that
guy two years ago and all this and that, and I'm thinking
to myself, how can you fill your head with this shit? I've
seen this guy outside of class, and he doesn't get any 
exercise, let alone play baseball. He spends his life 
talking about other people!

Well, he gets into class, and sits down about 3 seats away.
About ten minutes into the class, I look over, and there
he is, snoozing away. 

And I think to myself, "He sleeps in class, but I tell you,
he sure can talk the cubs."

And then I imagine a cold winter day 10 years down the line,
him sleeping on a silent street corner, juiced up good, and
two fellows walk by. One says to the other, "He may be a 
drunken worn out bum, but I tell you, he sure can talk the 
cubs!"

--
nature forms us for ourselves, not for others;
to be, not to seem.
From: ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu (Arthur Delano)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Damning with excessive praise
Date: 20 Dec 1992 23:32:00 GMT
Organization: finchhaus
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: helen.oit.itd.umich.edu

if it wasn't for the context of the rest
of the article, i would swear that the
author of the following passage was being
sarcastic:

  'The Ramones lyric tack here is a similarly brilliant reduction
and compacting.  Their words made deft use of irony and absurdity to
construct terse epigrams that resonated (again) within the skull of
initiated rockers with a thousand images and innuendoes, often
embracing wildly contradictory stances, which left final
interpretation wholly in the hands of the listener.  Take a song
like "I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You" the first verse of which is
composed entirely of the title line repeated five times over; the
second verse goes, "I don't wanna go out with you" also repeated
again and again.  But periodically Joey stops to ponder: "So why you
wanna walk around with me?" That simple juxtaposition says volumes!
Is Joey being condescending? Is he feeling insecure? Does he fear
rejection? Is he just incapable of entering into a relationship
because of its intricacy -- is he mature enough to engage in any
activity more complex than just to "walk around" the streets and
malls of Queens? Who the fuck knows! But you sure as shit start
wondering from the first time you hear those lines.'

AjD

the author is Howard Wuelfing, the article is "Ramones, when they
didn't suck," and the magazine is the latest issue of _Your_Flesh_,
a damned fine zine.
-- 
                       ajd@oit.itd.umich.edu
    "Whatever makes the most money will happen." -- Eleanor Glyn
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: cj@eno.esd.sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Subject: I am like mister x in that...
Reply-To: cj@sgi.com (C J Silverio)
Organization: SGI TechPubs
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 22:58:11 GMT

---
if I can find the right earring, I will get one ear pierced.
I would love to visit home wearing a single lavender triangle,
but can't justify an ear piercing for just that one occasion.

---
c j silverio
yes, of course it's juvenile provocation-- that's the point
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:42608 alt.prose:1669
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.prose
Subject: _Soviet Military Power in Asia_, Vol. III
Date: 21 Dec 1992 05:42:39 GMT
Organization: UC Berkeley CS Dept.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

It is a thick tome, bound in black cloth.  The title is printed
in gold, small on the spine, large on the cover.  The font is
Roman and faintly antique.  The pages are faintly glossy paper,
thin; they rustle in the hands.  They have acquired the faint
yellowish-grey tint that such paper is prone to, but otherwise
show no marks of age or use.

_Soviet Military Power in Asia_, Vol. III, is printed by the
Defense Publications Agency.  The copyright date is 1963.

No author is listed.

The text, though, has a certain continuity of tone and style.
It contains no jokes, wit, stories, or eccentricities of
language, but occasionally one finds a dry twinge.  Nothing
overt; nothing blatant; nothing that one would notice without
looking for it.  

Yet enough to hint at humanity.  A mosquito-bite humanity; a
scant drop, stolen in secret, with the stealthy grace of fear.
But one cannot quibble with the salamander in such a fire.

It is like finding a rose pressed between the pages.

"The T-34," it notes, "can climb a 45-degree slope, cross
ditches of up to twelve feet in width, navigate in six feet of
water, and move at sixty miles per hour on level terrain.  But,
due to faulty filtering on its air intake, it cannot traverse
a rice paddy."

It is careful to remind us that "since the information herein
provided is not obtained through official diplomatic channels,
it cannot be guaranteed that the location or composition of
forces is reported correctly," and it politely requests us to
"report any more accurate information that may be discovered,
to the appropriate agency of the United States Government."

And it points out that "Vladivostok... is said to be renowned
among the enlisted men for the quality of its beer."

It is difficult to maintain one's fear of history after reading
such a book.

c
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: March of the Newbies
Date: 14 Dec 1992 16:22:29 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov

In article <1992Dec13.221224.25125@scott.skidmore.edu> ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe) writes:
>
> the fact that i have been known to
>glance just a trifle too longingly at a horse's well formed and
>rippling musculature means nothing...nothing...!
>
>			is a horse considered livestock?

You can try, but it's mechanically difficult and I suspect wouldn't be
worth the difficulty.  A friend of mine used to have a thing about horses,
and I have a few cans of Ektachrome Commercial of her and a "friend."
--scott
   (yes, this probably dates the limit of my experience; it's been a while
    since ECO was replaced with the much-improved VNF reversal films)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Re: A Christmas Song / SATAN
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 92 18:44:20 EST
Organization: Zantop World Airways

In article <1gc7icINN7ko@tamsun.tamu.edu> covingc@ee.tamu.edu (Mouse) writes:
>In article <18112@autodesk.COM> grantb@Autodesk.COM (Grant Blaha) writes:
>>Sung to the tune of "Santa Claus Coming To Town"
>>
><Song Deleted>
>>
>>- Purple Tiger
>>  "Chairman Bill is the God of our everlasting destruction."
>
>Ever notice that if you swap the letters in SANTA around a bit, you get SATAN?

Funny you should mention that.  I never noticed until Thanksgiving weekend,
when I bought a 9:30 Club T shirt (described in an earlier post.)  Anyway,
after I got home, I looked at the back of the shirt.  It says "...and remember,
SANTA spelled sideways is SATAN."

I stared at this phrase for a while, thinking, "I don't get it."  I mean,
Santa and Satan?  What's the connection?  Then, suddenly, it hit me.
Really hit me, like a bolt of lightning.  It was an epiphany.  It was 
like I'd been wearing a blindfold all my life and suddenly it was removed.
It was like the feeling you get when you get laid for the first time.
It blew my doors off, man.  For the first time ever, I realized that
Satan is an anagram for Santa (and vice versa, of course.)  Wow.

I'm sure, though, that nobody else who reads talk.bizarre realized this,
and they're all remembering you in their prayers for pointing it out.

ljd
From: mlsa@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (MICHAEL LAUREN SHERMAN)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: __ is the __ of the '90s
Date: 16 Dec 92 04:27:26 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

After reading this damn news group over and over again I have the perfect ----
is the ------ of the 90's:  talk.bizarre is the Black Death of the 90's  why
do I keep reading, same reason I masterbate with a cheesegrater, I like pain.
-- 
my name is mike and i'm a .sig-a-holic, i have been virtually .sig free for
five days now, my life is so much clearer, i pledge to do my best to never
have a long .sig again.  i don't need one because i'm good enough, i'm smart
enough and god darnit, people like me.  ob info: mlsa@lehigh.edu, mike
sherman phone# 758-0207 disclaimer, we don't neeeed no steeenking disclaimer.
From: operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: feelings of power
Date: 17 Dec 1992 06:47:34 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: o233-12.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

whoami commented on the barbaric power experienced
in a pouring thunderstorm, standing or moving.

It's the same with the night, alone in the dark with
the moon the only witness. I'm a hunter, and all fear
lest someone should foolishly tread in my path. Alone
in the night is a feeling of power. Perhaps that's why
I post so many articles on long nights working in the lab

Mist heightens the experience. A warm night with the city 
lights shining and a heavy fog layed out over the land adds
an eerie air to the whole business.

Try it some time - try running alone in the night in secluded
places. Tell yourself that the boogeyman is near, heighten
the fear, and when you finally do see someone, rip that
person's throat out with your teeth. That is the only way to
be safe - who knows how a person might act placed in the
dark alone with you. Your only chance is to strike out first.

Before they get you

--
Don't go to see Passenger 57
It would be better titled
"Find 57 things wrong with this picture"
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy)
Subject: dickless
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 92 07:25:52 GMT


i am listening to dickless right now. so there.
--
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Subject: What I hate
Organization: University of Central Florida
Distribution: talk
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1992 16:39:40 GMT

What I hate is, when you're at a club that's lit by blacklight, making
everybody's teeth look green, and you bring a girl home, and you realize
that _it_wasn't_the_lights_.

----mark
From: berger@andromeda.rutgers.edu (Theresa Berger)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Rictus Hep gets a life
Date: 15 Dec 92 21:29:38 GMT
Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J.

...but plea-bargains it to seven years with parole.  

T.B.
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Will I go to hell just for thinking this?
Date: 19 Dec 92 20:14:36 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
NNTP-Posting-Host: cobra.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <RANJIT.92Dec19004459@unagi.cis.upenn.edu> ranjit@unagi.cis.upenn.edu (Ranjit Bhatnagar) writes:
>
>Granted, the ability to hold a counterfactual to be true for the sake
>of argument is an essential part of human consciousness; however, this
>case, in which the two viewpoints are spontaneously expressed in a
>single utterance, is clearly pathological.

thwap.  THWAP!  THWAP!  NO!  No we do NOT ALLOW PHILOSOPHERS!
No.  No.  THWAP!  Out!  Look - sign - NO DEEP THOUGHTS.  See?
Read, no?  Think joke?  THWAP!  Thwap thwap.  Begone with you.
Begone!  No theory.  Bad theory.  Down theory!  Bad!  THWAP!
Thapawapawap.  Athwap.  Whacka whump.  Whoof!  Now STAY!  Atta.
Atta.  Attadown.  Whump!  That one for lagniappe, eh?  STAY.
Yes.  Staya.  Back when dumb.  Back when dumb like me, eh?
SIT.  Sit boy.  Ere boy.  Ereygo.  THWAP!  Do that because me mean.

c
From: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Tis the season
Date: 17 Dec 1992 17:59:38 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: rpwhite@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


     So I was watching "A Few Good Men" and the scene where Jack
Nicholson's XO does his thing with the .45 reminded me that I only have
one round of ammo at home, and I've been saving that for a special
occasion, so ...
     I saw in the paper where Big 5 Sporting Goods had that CCI Blazer
ammo on sale. The cheap stuff with aluminum cases that cannot be
reloaded. I figured I'd  drop in and pick some up for my upcoming Road
Trip[tm] (LA -> KC). Not only would it provide me with some protection
against carjacking, but it would also provide me some entertainment as I
take the odd potshot at roadsigns while passing through the desolation
of Arizona and New Mexico.
     By the time I had driven to the mall I had talked myself out of it,
thinking I had better be Mr. Good Citizen, at least until after Feb 3
when I have my hearing (San Francisco, if anyone wants to show up and
be a character witness). I had close to a religious experience as I
decided to do the right thing. It dawned on me that God would reward me,
so I went in and spent the money I was going to buy the ammo with on
Keno. I didn't win shit and only wound up getting pissed of by the
throngs of cretins that inhabit malls at this time of year.
     I should have bought the fucking ammo.

rp -- then I could have killed them all.
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy)
Subject: broken...
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix @ U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 92 00:49:12 GMT

but not yet. i have recently ascertained that a large dose of uncertainty
in my life is not only healthy, but keeps me happy. once again i find
myself wondering what a particular woman might think about me. we've done
the coffee shop thing a couple of times but i am still utterly clueless.
i'm sure many of you will be quick to point out that this is not abnormal
but i just thought...oh well, it's useless to try to explain. i'm sure you
all know what i mean, except for you truly clueless fuckwit newbie shits
who just got out of h.s. or some shit. however, i should point out that i
am patient and don't mind playing the waiting game. i'd just like to know
what i'm waiting for, but wouldn't we all. well, i can see this is going
nowhere fast so....seeee yaaaaa
--
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
From: jws5@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JUSTIN WINSLOW SOLONYNKA)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: quotation looking for a context
Date: 17 Dec 92 15:43:02 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In article <Bz4H1H.Jtr@news.udel.edu>, hamlet@ravel.udel.edu (Chris Adams)
writes:
>my first thought was the cat.
>

    Jonathan saw the clocks, some still smoking after the shooting spree that
had gone on but an hour before.  The police had been there already, after a
neighbor complained of hearing automatic gunfire.  "But those weapons are
ILLEGAL," the chief had insisted, but apparently someone had managed to get a
hold of one anyway.
    And Ye Olde Clock Shop had been destroyed, or at least the clocks therein
had been.  In ominous reminding, each clock showed the same time of 9:29,
except that one clock that hadn't worked right since the last of the Knights
of the Round Table had died.  That clock showed 9:31.  The owner of the shop
was a stickler for correct time, and that one clock bothered him horribly, but
the fact that it was an antique caused his wife to insist that it was kept.
    So Jonathan walked into the room, gazing at the grisly spectacle.  He
would later say, "my first thought was the cat," though that was due to
nothing other than a word association game he had played in a previous
incarnation with Sigmund Freud.  He thought that he might write a book about
that, sometime.

***

Merry Whatever, all.  Enjoy the break (those of you who have one to enjoy.)

sol  |  See the cat?  See the cradle?

--
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Angel of Wax")
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: realization
Date: 15 Dec 92 16:06:04 GMT
Organization: Eaters of Wisdom
In-reply-to: gooley@netcom.com's message of 15 Dec 92 03:22:27 GMT

In article <1992Dec15.032227.7937@netcom.com> gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) writes:
>   What I really need is a Boswell.

Mark., I realize you're not going to like this, and I hope you don't
take it the wrong way, but Boswell is the literary figure with whom I've
always most associated you.

What YOU really need is a Johnson.
--
                     'Bah!' said Scrooge, 'Humbug!'
 Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: bc@Apple.COM (bill coderre)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Sioux -- my heart forever.
Date: 16 Dec 92 00:54:49 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc, Cupertino, CA

Some random newbie tries to explain itself:
|Ha!  Someone finally tries to pin it down.  About time.  I concede.  To be
|quite honest, I don't claim to have 'a life' in the sense that most of my
|accquaintances claim to, and I really don't WANT to.  From what I've seen they
|spend most of their time trying to please everyone else so that everybody will

.......blah blah blah.....

|think they have a life.  It's a complete waste.  I'd rather not try to answer
|this post, since there's really no right answer to it.  Anyone who's at all
|worried about whether or not someone else thinks they have a life is never
|going to have a life of their own, and that's really all I can say about it.
|As far as throwing me into your killfile goes...  Well, if you find my posts

........you're getting BORING.........

|boring, so be it.  Anybody who wants to continue reading anything I may be
|crazy enough to post here late at night...  Go for it.  What it comes down to
|is, I'll be here, whether you read me or not.

..............Wait! An insight!

|For those of you who take this sort of thing seriously, I have three choice
|words: GET A LIFE!

You got it, after paragraphs of verbal farts. Don't know WHY these
newbies take so long to learn, but hey, at least some of them are
making some kind of progress.

Just skip the long prelude of malodorous wind next time.

mr HEINOUS
In the words of Marshall Dodge, high master of Down East Sufism:
		     "DONCHA MOVE A GODDAM INCH!"

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: ssamaras@scott.skidmore.edu (susan samarasinghe)
Subject: Re: NEWBIE ALERT
Organization: Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs NY
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1992 18:45:35 GMT







				*kisses*

					the intrepid sioux
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: pfinerty@nyx.cs.du.edu (fun fun fun boy)
Subject: Re: Food, glorious food
X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University
	of Denver for the Denver community.  The University has neither
	control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users.
Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept.
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 92 01:27:31 GMT

In article <1ggc9mINN8uo@uwm.edu> grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (The Crow of Desperation) writes:
>
>In the paper today, I read yet another criticism about MREs (Meals Ready to
>Eat, for the acronymally impairred).
>
>Now, I've had a few of those (I won't say where I got them from, just in
>case the Secret Service is still lurking), and I didn't think they were too
>bad.

the fruit cocktail is not so bad. it's even good dry. 
--
			PJF--->Biochem. grad student
			      PUBLIC ENEMY #1
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: One track mind
Date: 11 Dec 92 18:19:57 GMT
Organization: University of Pennsylvania
In-reply-to: aaron@space.ualberta.ca's message of 27 Nov 92 04:58:54 GMT

In article <1992Nov27.045854.345@kakwa.ucs.ualberta.ca> aaron@space.ualberta.ca (Aaron Humphrey) writes:
>   Even extended ASCII discriminates against Eastern European languages.
>   They won't even do the d with the horizontal bar through it.

That letter (capital edh) is, so far as I know, only used in Icelandic,
which is as far west as you can go and still be in Europe.

One of the Soviet defectors I used to work with in 1988 had spet his
time writing printer driver software before he turned left one day
coming out of the Soviet embassy in Paris and walked to the American
embassy instead of back to his hotel.  It was difficult work, because
the embassy printers has to print in Roman, Cyrillic, Arabic, and
Armenian alphabets.  Apparently they didn't talk to Georgia.
--

	 The worst thing in the world is when records are destroyed
Mark-Jason Dominus 	  			    mjd@central.cis.upenn.edu
From: bhoughto@sedona.intel.com (Blair P. Houghton)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Female Intuition
Date: 12 Dec 1992 23:18:56 GMT
Organization: Intel Corp., Chandler, Arizona
NNTP-Posting-Host: stealth.intel.com

In article <1992Dec12.154430.16377@black.ox.ac.uk> tbrann@oxford.ac.uk (Tony Brannigan) writes:
>"Hi, Mom?"
> "Hello dear, you don't usually ring at his time."
>"I have a major problem." (whinging voice)

No kidding.

Apparently you've been raised as some sort of bell
and developed a lisp.

>"Its about sex."

It wasn't about sex.  You had no problem with that.
It's about cleanliness.  If you'd just been a little
tidier you'd have avoided this situation.

				--Blair
				  "The Doctor Is In."