From: reynard@susie.cs.scarolina.edu (John Reynard)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball
Subject: Re: Amazing METS Update
Date: 12 Apr 92 01:25:48 GMT
Organization: USC  Department of Computer Science


chen70@wharton.upenn.edu writes:

>FAN MAIL:
>Rubahadas (reading message): &%$@#%$!!!!  Who is the idiot who stated that
>Greg Maddux is better than any of the Mets' starters??
>A^2:  I think it was Dan Quayle.
>Rubahadas:  WRONG!  Guess again.  We're talking serious lack of intelligence
>here.  Perhaps even a schizophrenic living a double life, in which one 
>reality DOES include a Greg Maddux who is more talented than 
>any of the Mets' starters. 
>A^2 (sighing in desperation):  Uh.............A Chicago windbag.
>Rubahadas (a la Ed McMahon):  Yes!  You are correct sir! 

>NOTHING PERSONAL!  JUST KIDDING!!


>Bang!  Smack!  Crash!  Thump!  Crack!  Thump!  Thump, Thump, Thump...

>The preceding noises are:

>a)  a secret audiotape released by the alleged rape victim of Dwight, Vince,
>and Daryl in Dwight's apartment last spring

>b) Jim Essian's whirlwind "gopher ball" waltz through the clubhouse after
> the lowly Phils soundly defeat the Cubbies and prematurely eject 
>superstar (NOT!) pitcher Mike Morgan and making Danny Cox(sucker) look
>like a winner, which is quite tough to do.

>c)  the sounds at Busch Stadium, where the Cards (especially Agosto) were
>kind enough to pitch a little batting practice today to the MIGHTY METS.
>Donovan "I wanna go back to AA" Osbourne and Juan Agoing-Agoing-Agone Agosto
>allowed the METS to round the bases faster than the town whore.

>THE CORRECT ANSWER IS...need we even say.  If you think it's A, learn to
>read the papers, you illiterate fools! (That team lawyer we were telling you
>about is THAT good).
> 
>By the way, you heard it here first.  ANTHONY YOUNG will be the ROOKIE OF
>THE YEAR.  Despite suffering from control problems, lack of normal velocity, 
>and 2nd base umpire Frank Pulley's pathetic attempts to distract him, he
>was still able to pitch decently and nearly blank the quickly folding Cards.

>Surprise!  Surprise!  HOJO took the first step towards his defense of the
>NL home run crown with a popup to center field (bleachers).  JUNIOR NOBOA
>is awesome. All of a sudden, he's got New Yorkers reminiscing about another
>late bloomer boomer, a certain HOJO.  

>By the way, notice how the METS are focused on the intangibles of the game;
>the baserunning clinic they put on today won't show up in the boxscores,
>unless you're counting wins.  Sadly, the Cardinals, who have such a weakling
>lineup that they must manufacture runs themselves, could take a few tips
>from the MIGHTY METS.

>By the way, who the h*ll are the Cardinals kidding with this rotation?
>Deleon is good, but Bryn Smith is a softie (and as deceptive as a pitching
>machine).  Osbourne was a joke today, and despite his being drafted in the
>first round, I was not impressed with him in AAA, and he is obviously
>Bush League material.  Omar Olivares thinks he's pretty good, especially 
>after Saberhagen, but then I know a lot of fat Penn chicks who think the 
>same thing after waking up next to my alcoholic roommate after a night of 
>debauchery.   
>   Humbly Yours,
>          Rubahadas and A^2

If the Cardinals suck so bad, and the Mets are so Mighty and awesome how come
thet split the series with each team getting humiliated once?
Question is rhetorical because the answer is obvious, you have read the 
NY Daily Journal for the last few months and have eaten up all the lies and
propoganda just nicely.  Thus you think that even though this bunch of guys
hasn't shown anything yet that obviously they are gods and the NL East should 
bow down and worship their mightyness.
Whoops new update the lowly and young "team of scabs" Expos have defeated the
"mighty" and incredibly good Mets.  How long can such a good team continue to
lose?  Oh yeah it was Ken "I'm not Bob Gibson damn it" Hill who did it too.

Get a life and realize that the Mets have about the same chance to win the NL
East as everyone else except the Cubs this year.  Thus they could very easily
equal last years fifth place performance.

Sincerely awaiting your ranting reply,

John

Go Expos

Go Delino
Newsgroups: rec.sport.baseball