From: ceb@dbrus.Unify.Com (Caroline E. Bryan)
Newsgroups: rec.gardens
Subject: Re: Christmas tree alternative?
Date: 19 Nov 92 21:56:48 GMT
Organization: /usr/lib/news/organization

In article <1992Nov17.092118.5813@athena.cs.uga.edu> maxfield@athena.cs.uga.edu (Joan C. Maxfield) writes:
>
>OK, I know this is going to sound REALLY odd, but:
>	Does anyone have any ideas for 'alternate' types of christmas
>trees?  ... Daniel, is my fiance...He is a vegetarian.  Can you see
>where this is going?  Daniel doesn't want to "kill a poor innocent
>tree just so we can hang stuff on it"

1.  Tell him the tree is guilty.  If he objects, ask him what he thinks the
tree is innocent of.  His anthropomorphizing is ridiculous; help him to real-
ize it.

2.  Tell him he's a fine one to be worried about killing vegetation for human
use.  Unlike omnivores, 100% of a vegetarian's diet comes from plants that
s/he kills solely for human use.  If he's that concerned about equal rights
for plants, suggest that he stop killing innocent plants just so he can eat
them.

>... He suggests one of those little 2 foot tall K-mart jobs ...

Tell him that what's unjust for a 6-foot blue spruce is unjust for a 2-foot
weed (or lettuce leaves, for that matter).  If he can stomach killing itty-
bitty innocent little baby trees that never got old enough to do whatever he
thinks trees can be guilty of, why does he balk at trees old enough to have a
disreputable past?

> ... Or he wants to buy a live (with root ball) tree.  This is all fine and
> good, except we live in an apartment.  I suppose we could donate it some
> where after.

Tell him that the live tree is an excellent idea (it is), and you will accept
the tree if he takes care of it, and he finds a post-Christmas home for it.
He has the silly objection, let him do the work.  Make it absolutely clear
that you will toss the living tree into the trash, where it will die of
thirst and starvation (and probably wondering what it was guilty of), if he
doesn't find a home for it by a certain date.

If he protests that he's not antropomorphizing plants, ask him:
Does he eat innocent little alfalfa sprouts *while they are still alive*?
Does he realize that the living remains of those poor little innocent sprouts
are attacked by powerful gastric juices and they probably die agonizing deaths
because he can't be bothered to kill them humanely first?  Does he eat
grains -- the the innocent little unborn babies of innocent plants?  Does he
dessicate all the moisture out of the little innocent living bodies of the
innocent little unborn plant babies, then grind those innocent little bodies
into flour and make bread out of them, or boil those innocent little bodies
until they're soft and mushy and eat them?  Yecch!  Give me a tough old
chicken any day -- at least it's probably guilty of fornication, seeing as
there's no marriage among chickens legally recognized in US courts.


Carrie		ceb@rechenau.unify.com	x6244
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|		"Never" is about six months.   -- Charlie Gibbs		      |
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