From: onr@netcom.com (D. Owen Rowley)
Subject: Re: a lament
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 92 07:38:53 GMT
Organization: Netcom - Online Communication Services  (408 241-9760 guest) 

In article <s0vo4INNs4m@agate.berkeley.edu> kimpl@soda.berkeley.edu (peter lee kim) writes:
>i sit here in my bedroom as my love/boyfriend/lover/friend/partner
>(would that there was truly a single word to describe our loving
>bond) turns in for bed.  i have been reading news, and i am sorely
>depressed at all the hate that is flowing from the fingers of the 
>smallmindedhatefulpeople.

It can be depressing, 
I think we all can relate.
One thing That I like to focus on though is that I believe the intent
of the uglyness is to engender bad feelings in us.
There are some people who feel so bad about themselves, who are so unable to
face parts of themselves, they must lash out at someone else, someone who they 
see as vulnerable. The weird part of Gay-bashing, is that sometimes the 
bad feelings they are escaping are the very things they attack.

I remember an incident from my childhood, when I hung a sign around my uncles 
neck, a sign that read *oddball*.
It was a dumb thing to do, and just one of many foot-in-mouth experiences
I would perpetrate over the years.
He's never let me forget it, and I often am washed with feeings of regret
and shame because I now know I was attempting to draw atention away from myself.I was the oddball, I always was, and probably always will be.
the difference now is that i don't give a fuck if I'm an oddball, and 
rather quite enjoy it actually.

>i lament the fact that they are so determined to paint all of us
>in such ugly colors.  

Colors chosen from the spectrum of their own *filters*.
It is lamentable, but there are better things to do when you're 
tired of it

> they stand there with their eyes seeing
>what they would see, but not what is truly to be seen.  they would
>tell us that we are unhappy, unbalance, and ungodly.  they have
>not even asked us how we feel.  they have not asked who we are.
>they have not seen how we live our lives.  except for what their 
>narrow minds would see, and in doing so, they deny the integrity
>of our lives, they deny our love, they deny our very humanity.

And in so doing deny themselves. people so mired in denial are not happy 
people, their intent is to make sure that others are not happy either.
We are Gay, a word they definitly are not, whatever their true sexual 
orientation.

>we are people.  we stand before the world, not to be judged, but
>to live our lives as we are able.  no more, no less.  we do not need 
>to prove anything to the world, but the blind would have us
>waste our time doing so.  

Right.
I figure its ok to make a little lemonade, but too much can be souring to
the spirit.

>we know the reality of our love and our
>lives.  what needs be done is the healing/opening of their eyes and
>hearts.  we are faced with a fight not of our choosing, but one we
>dare not shy away from.  we do not fight to validate our lives.  we
>do not fight to prove them wrong.  we do not fight to win our place
>in the world.  we fight to open their eyes to the truth that we
>each live daily.  

and that which does not kill us makes us stronger.

>we validate our own lives.  we know the truth.
>we have our place.   deny it as they try.

They deny themselves, 
I figure the best way to deal with that is to affirm yourself.
I particularly liike the way Queer nation says it.

"We're here, we're Queer, get used to it"

when it comes down to any arguments from bashers, this statement makes a
dandy retort.


LUX .. owen

-- 
D. Owen Rowley .. Note this acct is not my primary USENET access
mail gets to me quicker if you send it to owen@autodesk.com

*No matter where you go, there you are.*