From: shoop@horton.farsef.com (Dan Shoop)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.douglas-adams
Subject: "How to Leave The Planet" - Definitive Answer
Date: 10 Nov 92 20:45:21 GMT
Organization: FARSEF -- The Far Side Expeditionary Force


"How to Leave The Planet" FIRST appeared on the back cover of the first
Hitchhiker's record, which was a remake of the first 4 episodes of the
radio series for commerical sale. This is not to be confused with the
cassettee tapes of the Radio Series off BBC. This record predates all of
the other mentioned sources where it appears by a considerable amount of time.
The US release (Hannibal Records, NYC) has a copywrite date of 1982, but the
record back mentions that it was released in the UK at the same time as 
the first book (which covers the same material), which was the fall of 1979.
This is *well before* any of the dates of any of the stuff your lot has
mentioned by a couple of years. /More Than Complete.../ was published in
1989, a *full* _ten years_ after the record.

Zarquon's Knees, I bet most of you don't even realize that the books were
written *after* the Radio Show! (And are inferior IMNSHO.)


The record back reads as follows:

+++++++++++++++++++++++

SOME INFORMATION WHICH MAY CONFUSE YOU:

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy itself has never been published on this
planet.

It is not, in the long run, a viable financial proposition.

In the long term, nothing on this planet is a viable proposition for reasons 
which the contents of this record album should make clear.

If you wish to avoid the events on this album, this is what you should do:

1) Leave the Earth as quickly as possible.
2) Do not procrastinate.
3) Do not panic.
4) Do not take the Whole Earth Catalog.

How to leave the planet:
1) Phone N.A.S.A. (tel: 713-483 0123). Explain that it's very important that
   you get away as quickly as possible.
2) If they do not cooperate, then try to get someone at the White House
   (tel: 202-456 1414) to bring some pressure to bear on them.
3) If you don't get any joy out of them, phone the Kremlin (ask your overseas
   operator to connect you with 0107-095-295-9051) and ask them to bring a 
   little pressure to bear on the White House on your behalf.
4) If that too fails phone the Pope for guidance (tel: 011-39-6-6982).
5) If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain
   that it's vitally important for you to get away before your phone bill
   arrives.

Although the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has not been published on
Earth, stories concernin the Guide have been circulated under that title.

These first began to appear as a series of BBC radio programs in England in
March 1978. The first series consisted of six programs, of which this double
record album represents the first four.

These are not the recordings which were originally broadcast, but wholly new
recordings of substantially the same scripts.

This is four complex reasons of copyright.

If you wich to understand these reasons, then you should first limber your
brain up on a little gentle quantum theory. Work out Relativity. Try to pump
up a Unified Field Theory. Take a short cooling rest. Now you should be ready
to tackle copyright law, but probably are no longer interested in it.

Later that year, one more episode was recorded and broadcast, commonly known
as the Christmas episode. It contained no reference of any kind to Christmas. 
It was called the Christmas episode because it was first broadcast on 
December 24th, which was not Christmas day.

After this, things began to get increasingly complicated.

In the fall of 1979, the firts Hitch Hiker book was published in England,
called The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It was a substantially 
expanded version of the first four episodes of the radio series.

At roughly the same time, this double album was first released, which was a
slighty contracted version of the first four episodes of the radio series.
[They had to take out Marvin humming Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here, 
changed Ford and Arthur's conversation before being thrown out the airlock,
reworded the mice negotiating with Zaphod over Arthur's brain, and re-did the
whole first episode, getting rid of Lady Cynthia and doing a far better job.]

In January 1980 five new radio episodes of the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the 
Galaxy were broadcast on the BBC, bringing the total number up to twelve.

In the fall of 1980 the second Hitch Hiker book was published in England. It
was a substaintially reworked and re-edited version of episodes 7,8,9,10,11,
12, 7, and 8 (in that order) of the radio series of the Hitch Hiker's Guide 
to the Galaxy. In case this seems to straightforward, the bok was called
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Meanwhile, a series of six tv shows of Hitch Hiker was made by the BBC, and
first broadcast in January, 1981. This was based more or less on the first
six radio epsidoes (in other words, the book was called The Hitch Hiker's
Guide to the Galaxy and the second half of the book called The Restaurant at
the End of the Universe). [sic]

In the summer of 1982 a third Hitch Hiker book was published in England, 
called Life the Universe and Everything. It was not based on anything already
heard or seen on radio or television. In fact it flatly contradicted episodes
7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12 of the radio series. These episodes, you will remember,
had already been incorporated in revised form in the book called The Restaurant
at the End of the Universe.

Many people are increasingly of the opinion that the impending demolition of
the planet earth will clear up a lot of confusion.


In case of doubt, confusion or alarm, touch this panel.

    +---------------------+
    |      Hi There       |
    |                     | (sissors showing "cut")
    |                     |
    +---------------------+    

At times of stress it is often reassuring to make physical contact with 
friendly objects. This panel is your friend.


+++++++++++++++

So there you have it.

This thread is finished. Done. And good riddence.

-dhan



FARSEF | The                                  Dan Shoop
       | Far Side                             shoop@horton.farsef.com
       | Expeditionary                        ATTnet:          201.612.0895
       | Force                                PagerNet: 800.225.0256 #92664
                                              Snail:   127 E Prospect 07463

         "The great machine reneweth the ages..." - Nostrodomus
            "You don't really think he meant computers?" -ds
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