HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: null@diku.dk (Niels Ull Jacobsen)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.college
Subject: Re: Tuition Refund
Date: 25 Jan 93 12:02:21 GMT
Organization: Department of Computer Science, U of Copenhagen

S.A.McIntyre@durham.ac.uk (Scott A. McIntyre) writes:

>I seem to remember at UC Santa Cruz that if your roommate died you
>would receive an automagic pass for the year,

Hmm. Did this depend on how they died? How about if they were murdered?
By their roommate? 

- I heard a voice telling me to kill him! It was the voice of my student
  counsellor. He said it was the only way I was going to pass this year.

Well, people have had stranger motives for murder.

> and if they killed themselves you got something better than a
>pass.  Of course, I could be completely wrong.

>Scott 

   Niels Ull Jacobsen, Dep. of CS, U of Copenhagen (null@diku.dk)
   Adaz sighed.  "So how long will this journey take?" 
   "A month?" Sutekh shrugged.  "Depends on when the horses die." 
     -- from "Adaz & Sutekh" by Jeff Stehman
-- 
   Niels Ull Jacobsen, Dep. of CS, U of Copenhagen (null@diku.dk)
   Adaz sighed.  "So how long will this journey take?" 
   "A month?" Sutekh shrugged.  "Depends on when the horses die." 
     -- from "Adaz & Sutekh" by Jeff Stehman
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.conspiracy
From: beers@cs.uidaho.edu (Robert Beers)
Subject: Re: Hepatitis and Taco Bell Scare.
	<C1A2As.JE5@world.std.com> <4897@moscom.com>
Organization: Idaho Happiness Commune and Espresso Bar
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 16:27:51 GMT
Reply-To: beers@leopard.cs.uidaho.edu

In article <4897@moscom.com> de@moscom.com (David Esan) writes:

   Yup, I watch them make my sandwich with their gloved hands, and then take
   my money with their gloved hands.  Real sanitary.  Good law.  Of course,
   what can we expect from the fools in Albany?

That law doesn't make much sense:  Your hands touched the money, the
worker's gloves touched the money, the worker's gloves touched other
person's food.  Similar laws are intended to prevent cross-contamination
like this.  This law, however, when taken to such extremes, does not.

_Robert Beers_	beers@leopard.cs.uidaho.edu
		rbeers@orizaba.ee.uidaho.edu

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: nolan@twg.com (Nolan Hinshaw)
Subject: Events (was The horse's butt -- err -- mouth)
Reply-To: nolan@twg.com
Organization: Gold Rush Hardware Store
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 20:10:58 GMT


In article <C18H54.LEo@rahul.net>, phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson) writes:
[blah blah blah - sounds like an old two-stroke Saab on overrun]

|>we have trouble hiding the events from Nolan Hinshaw.  New blood is

Hey! Bust it, Watcher! I got this nifty new industrial supply catalog on my
desk, and it has LOTS of nifty implements of torture listed in it, INCLUDING
diode adjusters. I know how to use 'em all!

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson)
Subject: Re: ulegends in the media
Reply-To: lawson@acuson.com (Drew Lawson)
Organization: ACUSON, Mountain View, CA
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 18:25:51 GMT

In article <1993Jan25.013202.27211@nezsdc.icl.co.nz> derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne) writes:

>Derek "Elvis hates birthday parties" Tearne

Yea, but he _loves_ the cake and ice cream.


Drew "They should have chosen the old, fat Elvis" Lawson
-- 
Drew Lawson                      If you're not part of the solution,
lawson@acuson.com                you're part of the precipitate
Organization: Penn State University
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 11:03:34 EST
From: <CSD108@psuvm.psu.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: tuition refund ul?
Distribution: alt

In article <1993Jan21.338.26781@execnet>, al.sorhaindo@execnet.com (al
sorhaindo) says:
>
>Has anyone else heard this corollary to a popular college UL?
>
>
>Not only did I hear their that there was an "official" rule printed
>in the student handbook allowing students to leave if a professor
>was more than 10 minutes late, but that a student could then get
>a partial tuition refund as well!
>
>For example, if your your class was scheduled to meet twice a week
>for 15 weeks you would get back 1/30 of your tuition for each time
>the instructor was absent.

Christ! You should hear some of the stuff people are saying at Penn State.
I've heard that the amount of time you have to wait depends on the "status"
of the instructor. A "Mr./Mrs." gets 10 minutes, a "Professor" gets 15,
a "Dr." gets 20. (Times vary according to who you talk to.)

Needless to say, I think this is bull.

--Craig D.
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: warren@nysernet.org (Warren Burstein)
Subject: Re: Glitch at the Dog Track
Organization: NYSERNet, Inc.
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 04:07:32 GMT

Could it be that the late losers were frantically entering their bets
figuring the computer would reject the bet any cycle, and got it
wrong?  Or perhaps was the clock so screwed up that a normal number of
incorrect bets were entered before the start of the race but recorded
as placed afterward.  If this is the case, the winners could claim
that the same error recorded their bets at the wrong time.
-- 
/|/-\/-\          This article is supplied without longbox
 |__/__/_/        and uses recycled 100% words, characters and ideas.
 |warren@         
/ nysernet.org
From: VBCSC03L@VAX.CSUN.EDU (snopes)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Jesus' Birthday
Date: 22 Jan 1993 22:11:56 -0600
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
NNTP-Posting-Host: cs.utexas.edu

linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden) writes . . .

>> What was the joke meant to be?

>If you are "resurrected" you are "born again" -- you have another birthday!
>So you can sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus on Xmas day and at Easter!

  Peter is without a doubt the smartest person on this network.  Or at least
  the second-smartest person in this article.

 - snopes

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|                                                                             |
| "A few stems of asparagus eaten shall give our urine a disagreeable odor."  |
|                                                                             |
|                                                       - Benjamin Franklin   |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  David P. Mikkelson   Calif. State Univ., Northridge   Northridge, CA  USA  |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From: psraah@uta.fi (Rami Ahonen)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Chinese food
Date: 27 Jan 93 00:13:24 GMT
Distribution: world,local
Organization: University of Tampere, Finland


I heard a story last saturday that sounded awfully lot like a UL.
Let's see what you people have to say....

      A girl goes to Chinese restaurant in Helsinki (That's in Finland
      in case you didn't know!) and orders chicken. She eats and
      leaves the place, but later feels like she's got a bone stucked
      in her throat. So she goes to see a doctor who removes the 
      bone and after having studied it says that the bone is not 
      from a chicken. Later girl goes to the restaurant with some 
      officials to check the place. They found a freezer full 
      of rats. Now the restaurant is closed.
      People who told me the story couldn't remember the name 
      of the place but they said that this happened just few 
      months ago.

I know there are stories about people eating all kinds of stuff, but 
what I'm interested in founding out is that has anybody (hopefully not 
everybody) heard about the bone and the doctor.


rami
psraah@uta.fi
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.california
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Mike Cooper was Jesus' name (was Re: Late breaking potential UL!)
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 00:41:44 GMT

In article <1993Jan23.002235.12276@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai) writes:
>>Captain "Mike Cooper choked a chicken in a barrel" Sarcastic
>
>I heard that some years ago, 60 minutes was doing a story about
>some small time southern crook.  They're interviewing him and at
>one point he says  "That's more fun than chokin' chickens."  All
>the 60 minutes guys are northerners unfamiliar with the meaning
>of the phrase, and they broadcast it, and are buried in mail from
>indignant offended viewers.
>
>Jon "It could have happened." Papai

It did happen -- except that it was in the Wall Street Journal.
The story was recounted in an anniversary edition of the WSJ, and
included names, maybe even the date, and the lovely phrase "unaware
it was a euphemism for masturbation".  The date of the anniversary
issue was some time in the summer of 1989.  I think.  

Ted "Tb" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
From: axl@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Andrew Long)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Guiness Book of World Records (Re: Ankle-slashing Robbers)
Date: 22 Jan 93 13:29:24 GMT
Reply-To: axl@dcs.ed.ac.uk (Andrew Long)
Organization: Department of Computer Science, Edinburgh University

>>>  The _Guiness Book of World Records_ no longer keeps records of young
>>>mothers.

>>record just to make her mark on history.  Sure it's dumb, but it could
>>happen.  As I recall, when the record was there, it was around 8.  Many
>>girls are fertile (or at least menstruating -- I know it isn't
>>identical) by 10, so this isn't too much of a stretch.
                            ============================

Are you sure about this?

:-)


Andy "But who's the youngest father?" Long

-----
"Wake up, smell the cat food in your bank account" TMBG
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.folklore.college
From: thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu (Ted Frank)
Subject: Re: Tuition Refund
Reply-To: thf2@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: University of Chicago
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 05:28:32 GMT

In article <930121205045.34bd@VAX.CSUN.EDU> VBCSC03L@VAX.CSUN.EDU (snopes) writes:
>In article <1993Jan21.338.26781@execnet>, al.sorhaindo@execnet.com (al
>sorhaindo) says:
>
>>For example, if your your class was scheduled to meet twice a week
>>for 15 weeks you would get back 1/30 of your tuition for each time
>>the instructor was absent.
>
> And, if the instructor committed suicide, you got a full refund *and*
> an "A" in the course.

Actually, a friend of mine was taking a course in the UCLA philosophy
department to find that his prof had committed suicide.

Now that you mention it, I should really look into what happened to his 
grade.

Ted "does anyone else out there know Glenn Branch, or know someone who
     does?" Frank
-- 
ted frank                     | thf2@ellis.uchicago.edu 
standard disclaimers          | void where prohibited
the university of chicago law school, chicago, illinois 60637
From: geoffb@coos.dartmouth.edu (Thumper)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: My Federal Agent the Gorilla
Date: 28 Jan 93 18:01:56 GMT
Reply-To: geoffb@Dartmouth.EDU
Organization: Amos Tuck School
Disclaimer: I don't represent Dartmouth and Dartmouth doesn't represent me.

In <C1Izs4.C53.1@cs.cmu.edu> smith+@cs.cmu.edu (Sean Smith) writes:

>Here's the great part: Bernal thought he was purchasing a gorilla, which was
>sitting in a manure-filled crate.  But the gorilla was actually a federal
>agent in a gorilla suit.  The agent stepped out of the crate, identified
>himself as a police officer, and proceeded with the arrest.

I saw that on the national news... my first reaction: He must be one hell
of a poor zookeeper!

-Geoff
--
geoffb@Dartmouth.EDU - Computing Support Consultant, Tuck School of Business

   "A man who envies our family is a man who needs help."
		-Lisa Simpson, "The Simpsons"
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: smith+@cs.cmu.edu (Sean Smith)
Subject: My Federal Agent the Gorilla
Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban
Organization: School of Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 18:38:11 GMT


This one ought to be a UL, but apparently isn't.

Victor Bernal, a zoo director from Mexico, was arrested on 25 January 1993
for buying black-market animals.   This action was part of a sting operation
carried out by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

Here's the great part: Bernal thought he was purchasing a gorilla, which was
sitting in a manure-filled crate.  But the gorilla was actually a federal
agent in a gorilla suit.  The agent stepped out of the crate, identified
himself as a police officer, and proceeded with the arrest.

Apparently this really freaked out the suspect...


Check out the UPI article ``Agent Goes Ape In Smuggling Sting,''
available currently on clari.news.interest.quirks, and elsewhere.

--Sean ``gorilla my dreams'' Smith

******************************************************************************
                         sean.smith@cs.cmu.edu
                     carnegie mellon computer science

          posting from PITTSBURGH, the center of the AFUniverse!
******************************************************************************
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Seven-footers in Volkswagens
Date: 27 Jan 93 02:35:35 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division

In article <727731421.AA08143@csource.oz.au> Terry.Smith@f870.n800.z3.fidonet.org (Terry Smith) writes:
>
> TR> Have no idea about the truth of the UL, but I do know that this gag
> TR> was used in one of the Police Academy movies with Bubba Smith.  He
> TR> tries to get into a subcompact, tears out the front seat, and drives
> TR> while sitting in the back. I suspect this may be the origin.  And as
> TR> you point out, why would anyone want to in the first place?
>
>    ObUl Any skit in a recent Hollywood comedy is 'original'. 

I only just caught this thread now and will assume it is about
very tall men fooling everyone by seemingly being passengers in
driverless cars.

Manute Bol, an extremely tall basketball player was pulled over
once because his seat was so far back that there appeared to be
no driver. The cop thought he was playing a joke, but when he
looked in the car and saw that it was only 'nute, he let him go.


ER
--
Great apes are ok. It's the mediocre apes and the baboons and especially
the lemurs that are trouble.
 	-Henry Troup (alt.folklore.urban)
From: Bruce.Tindall@launchpad.unc.edu (Bruce Tindall)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: parking meter nun smash
Date: 23 Jan 93 15:57:22 GMT
Organization: University of North Carolina Extended Bulletin Board Service

In article <1993Jan23.072626.1271@netcom.com> rchao@netcom.com (Robert Chao) writes:
>Is there anything to do to a parking meter to cough up some time, apart
>from inserting slugs or opening the meter? (I doubt it.)

Paul Newman cut the heads off several parking meters in _Cool Hand Luke_
and in return the judge gave him quite a bit of time.
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
From: jtchew@csa3.lbl.gov (Ad absurdum per aspera)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Blacks on Star Trek
Date: 28 Jan 1993 09:23 PST
Organization: Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory - Berkeley, CA, USA
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: 128.3.254.198
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41    

A year or two ago, there was an overcooked article in the UC-Berkeley
paper by someone who thought blacks weren't visible enough on the
boob tube.  He pointed out that the blacks on ST:TNG all seemed to
be aliens or mutants or something, and that Geordi LaForge was
shuffled out of the bridge crew before long.  

(For the benefit of the three people on the Internet who don't watch 
"Star Trek: The Next Generation," Geordi LaForge is a black space-
navy officer played by LeVar ("Roots") Burton; he's blind and wears 
this vision substitute thingy that looks like a chrome version of 
the Terminator's sunglasses.)

It was an even shorter time until at least one irate correspondent
pointed out that (a) Geordi was less visible because of a major
promotion that required him to be elsewhere, and (b) blind people 
aren't mutants.

What I wonder, though, is when the Anti-Defamation League of B'nai
Brith is going to assault them for either the Ferengi (an alien
merchant race that behaves like an obsolete gentile stereotype/
caricature of Jews) or Mrs. Troi (another alien, the Rich Jewish
Mother from Hell).  I'm sure none of this is intentional, considering
the ruthlessly utopian atmosphere of "Star Trek" old and new, but
I'll bet I'm not the only person who has gotten that impression. 

Joe "Your front-lines correspondent from the Political Correctness wars" Chew
From: booter@Autodesk.COM (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Jesus' Birthday
Date: 27 Jan 93 02:42:38 GMT
Organization: The Autodesk Menagerie - Housecat Division


In article <fYjj0Af@quack.sac.ca.us> pharvey@quack.sac.ca.us (Paul Harvey) writes:
>
>The joke is that Jesus never existed, at least there were no Hebrews by
>that name. It's all an old superstitious myth, some kind of urban or
>even SUBurban legend gone astray, converted into a meme, rather SPOOKY really.
>And I mean that in the kindest way possums.


That's because the name was changed when he landed at Ellis Island.
JC's real name is Joshua Ben Joseph. 

ER
--
Great apes are ok. It's the mediocre apes and the baboons and especially
the lemurs that are trouble.
 	-Henry Troup (alt.folklore.urban)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer)
Subject: Re: Where AIDS came from
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 19:19:14 GMT

In article <gj156879.728154819@cunews> gj156879@alfred.carleton.ca ( gj student 156879) writes:
>The following story was told to me by a friend of mine who says a
>prof told it to him in class.  Whether it is true or not, I have no
>idea.  It would be interesting if it were.
>
>The Prof claimed he had a reporter friend who was on the trail of
>where AIDS came from.  The reporter said that it seemed strange that
>AIDS broke out in Africa and among the gay community of San Fran at
>exactly the same time.  How does such a lethal virus bop about like
>that?

AIDS, however, is suspected of being around a long longer than just
the past 15 years. I remember a news story (and probably still have
it somewhere) about a researcher who remembered a strange case of 
a man dying of pneumonia in the 60s. A blood sample had been taken 
from the patient and stored, and when it was analyzed, it had antibodies
for HIV. I haven't seen anything about this since then (about three 
years ago), though, so who knows as to the report's accuracy.
-- 
John Switzer             | 1/22/93-Scientists report domesticated cats have
                         | smaller brains than their feral cousins. 
Compuserve: 74076,1250   | 1/25/93-LA Times reports Socks is terrified of 
Internet: jrs@netcom.com | President Clinton. Coincidence? You decide!
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: moscoso@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (Innocuous Punch)
Subject: Re: UFOs
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 08:40:24 GMT

VBCSC03L@VAX.CSUN.EDU (snopes) writes:

> derek@nezsdc.icl.co.nz (Derek Tearne) writes . . .

[...]
>>5. Have you ever found puzzling scars on your body?

>  Heck, I experienced all these things on my last flight on Delta Airlines.

> - snopes

...that's the problem with handing out metal forks and knives on a bobbing
   bucket 'o bolts...

--
-ivan, "going through metal detector with my own fork"

		DISCLAIMER:  I don't work for Delta.  In fact, I've never
			     even seen one.  Well, there was fifth grade,
			     but that was something else.  My opinions don't
			     represent those of CCSO, btw...
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Subject: Re: terry awards
Reply-To: lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner)
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 21:39:47 GMT

In article <13080099@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM> rrd@hpfcso.FC.HP.COM (Ray Depew) writes:

>Close.  I understand, though, that the squaw on the hippo hide weighed a 
>whole lot -- as much, in fact as the sons of ...  Keep trying.

Are these WASH'ed hippos?

cj "$10,000 if a hippo pukes on my shoes" l
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: pynq@quads.uchicago.edu (Jeremy Mathers)
Subject: Re: AIDS cases reach 1 million, again....SPY
Reply-To: pynq@midway.uchicago.edu
Organization: D. J. Dougherty & Associates
Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1993 23:23:13 GMT

In article <1993Jan27.151508.6561@pony.Ingres.COM> sweeney@Ingres.COM (Tony Sweeney) writes:
...
>1) [Londoners] when you get the tube in the morning, there is a good bet
>   that someone in your carriage is HIV+
maybe.

>2) Everyone knows someone who is HIV+ [assuming > 175 acquaintances per
>   individual]

This, of course, is nonsense.  Something about assuming a uniform
distribution...

************************************************************************
Avoid reality at all costs.

	- pynq@quads.uchicago.edu, who is still costing the net
	  hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars, every time he posts -
************************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jrs@netcom.com (John Switzer)
Subject: Re: starting a car takes more gas that idling
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1993 17:04:12 GMT

In article <1993Jan21.210843.269@gems.vcu.edu> hleaves@gems.vcu.edu writes:
>People have always told me that it takes more gas to start a car than to leave
>it running. That, suppposedly, is why you shouldn't turn off your engine for a
>brief stop. I can believe that this is true for a very brief idling period, but
>not for any longer times. What would be considered the crossover point, where
>it is better to stop your engine than leave it running? (considering gas
>consumption only, not including engine wear from starting)

When Highway 101 through Santa Barbara used to have stop lights on it,
the lights could take 4 to 5 minutes to turn, so there were signs posted
suggesting that motorists turn off their motors when stopped there. So,
I'd guess 4 or 5 minutes

-- 
John Switzer             | 1/21/93 - Clinton fails to follow through on promise
                         | to have economic legislation ready the day after the
Compuserve: 74076,1250   | Inauguration. Programmers rejoice because he gives 
Internet: jrs@netcom.com | them an excuse to further slip their schedules.