From: chawla@wam.umd.edu (Jay Paul Chawla)
Subject: Me, Jay Paul Chawla
Organization: University of Maryland, College Park
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1993 03:18:29 GMT

I am overwhelmed by religious fervor!  I am reborn, or re-pre-teen'ed,
in the Net!  Now you all must see what God has shown me.  It's very
bad, and I'm very proud of it, so I hope you all will humor me.  I'd
better post this before I realize I'm making a fool of myself, but I
never will, the years are fading away, I have completely forgotten the
intense shame of being me!  I'm cool again, lalalalala, I know you are
but what am I?, I'm not listening I have my hands over my ears
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala I can't hear a word you are saying!

Well, I've completely redesigned my .sig for the new model year, and
let me tell you: boy am I going to be popular in '92!  Your eyes will
pop out of your head once I've learned how to put those funny commands
that make the screen go boldface or underlined or whatever, into my
signature.  You will notice that my, Jay Paul Chawla's, name appears
only three times in my current signature, but soon it will appear
cleverly overlaid on the cool text lots more times, so my name can
appear ten times total, making me ten times as cool as most of you,
and exactly forty times cooler than Kibo, whose name only appears 1/4
of a time, except when he prints his whole signature, which he'll
never do again because he knows that I'll just append his signature to my
signature with all the "Kibo"'s, even the ascii-pic ones, changed to
"Jay" and then I'll print every single letter of my signature on
everything I post, breaking the net before HappyNet is ready to take
over the load.  I might add that including Kibo's .sig would also give
me room to overlay my name about 1000 more times than I do currently,
but I would have to convert all the white space to periods so you
could see it better.  I'll have to write a program to do it, but
that's okay; like all cool people, I like to "say it with C code."
Then I'll get a shorter name so I can become even cooler.  Maybe I'll
shorten my name to zero letters so I can be infinitely cool and
infinitely advertised without even posting a thing!  Or maybe I'll
break into Net Headquarters and in all the Usenet articles I'll
replace-string "Kibo" with my new 50000-character signature.

<boldface ascii-pic signature overlay will look like this>
........*...*......*...*......*...*......*...*......*...*......*...*......*...*
.........*.*........*.*........*.*........*.*........*.*........*.*........*.*.
...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*...*..**..*..
...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*...*.*..*.*..
...*.****.....*.****.....*.****.....*.****.....*.****.....*.****.....*.****....
***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*..***..*..*....

"I had to become infinitely cool because that's the only way I could
be even cooler than myself." -- Jay Paul Chawla (quote soon to appear in
lots of signatures near you, maybe even YOURS!)

--
******JAY*********   ****JAY PAUL CHAWLA****  **J**A**Y**!**!**!** | THE "IBO"
LEWD, CRUDE, AND IN THE NUDE!  I'M NOT A HIGH SCHOOL KID ANY MORE, |IS SILENT!
^I THINK THIS LINE WILL GET ME WOMEN (1-301-935-5846)! SO WATCH OUT!BANDWAGON-
^JUST KIDDING!  I THINK *THAT* WITTY AND CLEVER LINE WILL GET ME WOMEN!!EER!
NOW CALL ME AND TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED MY ARTICLE SO MUCH THAT YOU READ ALL THE
WAY TO THE END!!! NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!!!!!
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology