From: datasbld@bnr.ca (Datasbuild)
Subject: Re: Stat du jour
Organization: BNR Europe Ltd, Maidenhead, UK
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Fri, 02 Oct 1992 10:28:33 GMT

Jonathan E. Quist (jeq@i88.isc.com) wrote:
: In article <1992Oct1.130241.8433@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil> rdc30@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Code-03 LCDR Michael E. Dobson) writes:
: >In article <1992Sep29.235450.14075@bnr.uk> datasbld@bnr.ca (Datasbuild) writes:
: >>Jonathan E. Quist (jeq@i88.isc.com) wrote:
: >>: In article <1992Sep29.171207.11465@bnr.uk> datasbld@bnr.ca (Datasbuild) writes:
: >>: >Jim Small (dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil) wrote:
: >>: >: In article <1992Sep25.123223.29606@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil> rdc30@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Code-03 LCDR Michael E. Dobson) writes:
: >>: >: >In article <HcNgRB1w165w@mantis.co.uk> mathew sniggers:
: >>: >: >>1% of British men, while making love, fantasize about their wife being
: >>: >: >>responsive.
: >>: >: >>
: >>: >: >The other 99% wouldn't know what to do with a responsive wife if they had
: >>: >: >one.
: >>: >
: >>: >I think I'll ignore this.
: >>: 
: >>: Why?  Because it's too close to the truth, and you don't want to be identified
: >>: as one of the 1%, or because it's too close to the truth, and you don't
: >>: want to be identified as one of the 99%?  ;')
: >>: 
: >>No and no.  My wife was extremely responsive and she liked the way I brought
: >>her responses out.....  oooh...uuuurh...aaaahhh...gasp!
: >>
: >>The smiley was a weak attempt to make a joke about a slur on the collective
: >>manliness of this here Sceptred Isle!  You sir have offended us, take that!
: >>  "Thwak"
: >>(Sound of gauntlet (+6, enchanted) striking weak namby-pamby american cheek).
: >>
: >>It's pistols at dawn for the likes of you, my lad.  Choose thy valet with care
: >>and then get thee to thy bed.  I only like to blood fresh opponents.
: >>
: >You, sir, have made a serious breech of protocol.  As the one challenged,
: >it is I who have the choice of weapons.  I have a fine pair of cutlasses
: >that would suit me just fine.  Pistols are too crude for gentlemen.  My 
: >seconds shall attend upon thee at thy convenience.  I look forward to
: >adding your scar to my collection.  I trust your affairs are in order.
: 
: Lieutenant Commander Dobson, admiral on deck!  I believe if you re-read,
: you will discover that it is I who was challenged.  Ah, a 3-way duel could
: be interesting.  (Duel?  Maybe it should be Triel?)
: 
: And since neither Nick or myself aspires to gentlemanliness, you may use
: both cutlasses (I'm sure they are beauties, too), and Nick and I will use
: the pistols.  I imagine he'll go for the PPK, personally, I'll take a
: Phule Munitions .50 recoilless....  Besides, anyone knows a gentleman would
: use an epee rather than a cutlass.... :-)
: 
: You trust Nick's affairs are in order?  Isn't that what initiated the
: challenge in the first place?
: 
: Have a scar?  Thank you, I'll take a Honduran Churchill.
: -- 
: Jonathan E. Quist                             INTERACTIVE Systems Corporation
: jeq@i88.isc.com  '71 CL450-K4 "Gleep", DoD #094        Naperville, IL
:         There are many things a person should experience in a lifetime.
:        Among them are an infant's mother, and an infant's first cough.

Demn right sir!

Can't have these young whippersnappers causing trouble without teaching them a
lesson or two in the process, can we?  What does he think he is anyway, a 
filibuster?  Mind you, talk about bleedin' sciamachy, it's enough to fenestrate
anyone's gut.....  I think Vickers  make a suitable iron for duelling, mind you
I hope you don't mind if I utilise my second to hold the belt and clear the
blockages.  Could I borrow some water from your spring for the cooling jacket?

WHat the fook was this thread about anyway?  Title?  (Sound of almost middle-
aged, brown and grey haired, 5'6" bespectacled eccentric Englishman looking up
at the top of his Emacs Xwindow..... ) Ah yes, "Stat du jour"  Now how can I 
develop a context for that....  Right, France and Motorbikes...  I really do
enjoy biking in France.  Apart from having to pay for the toll motorways, it
has been great.  Incidents follow:-

Talked to my mate on the 'phone, we agreed to go to Le Mans and he gave me a 
few brief instruction on where to pick him up in Antwerpen.  I set off from
Swindon (England) and made the rendevouz with three minutes to spare.  He was
VERY impressed as I have NO sense of direction (I am famous for it, I was hope-
less as a Despatch Rider!).  We set off for Le Mans and _had_ to go round Le
Peripherie a Paris.  I had been warned off by many people, "Suicide!" they said
"Bollox" thought I and it was _great_!  Rush hour and all.  80MPH+ cages in
most lanes, 90MPH+ bikes down between the middle in classic Euro-Style.  We got
to a junction and stopped (completely fuckin' suicidal) 'cos we didn't know
what West was in French and we were puzzled by the sign which said ouest and 
est.  C'est n pas un problem I shouted in my _best_ French and dug out my 
pocket pocket (read _tiny_) phrase book.  Well, for space reasons, they had 
omitted _that_ particular set of words so we just tossed a franc in the air and
said "heads"  (a French revolution joke!) " for ouest and tails for est".  We
must have got the right one because we got there in the end.

Hurtling around Paris, keeping up with the traffic around the Arc de triomphe
and still managing to get where I was aiming (literally) for.

Pulling wheelies away from the lights and making at least ten moped and scooter
pilots mouths gape (was watching them in the mirror) near Notre Dame.

Racing an Italien ZX10 around and over the Seine.  I won, I was a madder 
bastard.

Getting pulled by Les Flicks after "opening her up" after being a good boy 
through a nice country village and then coming out and taking a gorgeous road 
up the side of a hill in some of the best countryside I have seen.  This was on
the way back from Le Mans, another time, and they had a lay-by _full_ of Brits!
I think they must have been short of funds.  They demanded L90!  I managed to 
get away with giving them L23 and had to borrow money off my sister (pillion) 
to pay for the petrol home.  We missed the Hovercraft (L'aeroglisseur) and had
to take the stinking ferry instead!  Bummer.

Millions of trips from Brussels to England and back, when I was working in
Brussels but left my family in England, entering France near Lille and leaving
(obviously) at Calais.  Nearly always in a mad screaming panic on the way 
there, to catch the Friday evening Hovercraft, read 130MPH for 85% of the way.
Nearly always a relaxed, read 80MPH, journey back to work on the Sunday 
evening.  Got pulled by the Belgium Gestapo one winter.  I saw some Bikes up 
ahead on the Belgium motorway and thought "aha, friends" but when I got close I
suddenly remembered "Oho, Belgium National Gestapo ride BMW R100RTs and Belgian
civvies rarely ride bikes in the winter (bad constitution)"  I slowed down, but
too late for their RADAR.  They waved me into a lay-by and there was a whole
dragoon of the buggers.  About five bikes, three cars, a large van and two 
Range Rovers.  They dragged me off to the back of the van and gave me a notice
which informed me in eight languages that I was Nicked!  I was told to pay a
fine of about forty quid and also told that if I disagreed with this, it would
be doubled!  I didn't have much cash on me (like always, always broke!) and so
they said that they would impound my bike for 48 hours unless I could get some
money.  Much to their surprise (they thought I was a tourist/vandal(!), I 
produced a Belgian bank ATM card and they took me off in a BMW 325i to the 
nearest bank to get their cash.  Incidentally, the car was not only fitted out
with tons of computer equipment, but they also drove it faster than they had 
booked me for!!!  True Bastards!!!!

Hurtling through the French countryside on a gorgeous sunny day on amazing
straight roads where you can see the next three villages ahead, like apples on 
a stick:   =====O===O==O

Coming back from one Le Mans or another, after one of the Jaguar triumphs, and
people coming out from the houses in the villages and cheering you on with 
shouts of Vive l'anglais and Vive le Jaguar and even Vive le Moto!

Etc. Etc.  Etc.


And my stat du jour is sitting here, typing this, wishing that my married
girlfriend was not married anymore, was not on holiday with her husband and 
she and I were trundling around the countryside of somewhere or other (South of
France?) and I was not sitting here, typing this and thinking what I am!!


Nick (the In A Sticky Wicket At The Moment and Confusing Rec.Moto for 
       Alt.Angst Biker)  MAG 73516   DoD 1069

M'Lud.

PS Hello Jonothan. "Let's just nuke the bastard" is, I think, one of the more
   endearing phrases from your country.

PPS At least I managed to mention motorbikes at least once......  Now what 
    about beer and various animals?  Help?  Anyone?.......