From: muffy@remarque.berkeley.edu (Muffy Barkocy)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory
Subject: Re: People are People (Re: ISO Bi-Fem and Girlfriend)
Date: 4 Oct 92 08:57:31
Organization: Natural Language Incorporated
	<MUFFY.92Oct1102623@remarque.berkeley.edu>
	<DMASON.92Oct3120231@plg.plg.uwaterloo.ca> <BvL4Gp.4F@world.std.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: remarque.berkeley.edu
In-reply-to: webber@world.std.com's message of Sun, 4 Oct 1992 06:53:12 GMT

In article <BvL4Gp.4F@world.std.com> webber@world.std.com (Robert D Webber) writes:
>In article <DMASON.92Oct3120231@plg.plg.uwaterloo.ca> dmason@plg.uwaterloo.ca (Dave Mason) writes:
>> What I read is Muffy saying, ``I find some people attractive, but I
>>don't usually want to jump their bones until I get to know them a
>>little bit, find them interesting & feel that they find *ME*
>>interesting.''  She's also not usually interested if someone wants her
>>because some tiny subset of her characteristics pushes the other
>>person's button.

>I think that if you read her postings carefully, Muffy says that in
>some way people finding her attractive on first meeting actively
>turns her off.  Presumably this must be only if she believes/percieves
>they find her attractive for the wrong reasons or express it the wrong
>way, since her present SO would not likely have talked with her for
>five or six hours if he didn't find her attractive (to talk to, at
>least) in some way.

That's funny.  *I* think if you read my postings carefully, you will
find that Dave is more correct, although he got the focus wrong.  I do
*not* "get turned off" by people finding me attractive.  Lots of people
have found me attractive and treated me like a real person, and they are
quite interesting.  What I *said*, as Dave has said, is that if that
person makes it clear that they are *only* interested in some single 
characteristic or small set of characteristics, *THEN* I am "turned off"
because, among other reasons, I think they are stupid, and I find a
reasonable amount of intelligence to be necessary for me to be attracted
to someone.  My SO, as you correctly surmise, finds me *extremely*
attractive.  However, he was interested in me as a person who was
attractive, not as a "hot bi babe," "swinger," "great body," etc.

The problem in this thread seems to be that many of you do not believe
that someone would be solely interested in one or two characteristics.
Well, it happens, quite a lot.  Maybe not to *you*, but it seems to have
happened to me and other people in this group.

Once again, just to make my position clear, what I have been talking
about all along is the incredibly nasty idea that women will "make
something scarce" as soon as they find out that someone else wants it.
My original posting suggested that the problem was not some sort of
manipulation on the part of the woman, but disgust on her part that the
other person would be interested in *ONLY* that one characteristic.

Muffy
--

Muffy Barkocy                               muffy@mica.berkeley.edu
~Little round planet/in a big universe/sometimes it looks blessed/
 sometimes it looks cursed/Depends on what you look at, obviously/
 But even more it depends on the way that you see~ - Bruce Cockburn
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory