HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: 10-word controversial poem
Date: 27 Jan 93 17:01:59 GMT
Organization: Dostoyevskian Characters, plc

In article <C1G41z.2p7@mentor.cc.purdue.edu> aisa@sage.cc.purdue.edu (procrastination) writes:
>In article <1993Jan24.191540.11496@vax.oxford.ac.uk> reese@vax.oxford.ac.uk writes:
>>
>> So,
>> What is so
>> Good about the
>> Grateful
>> Dead,
>> Anyway?
>>
>>Jason
>
>
>not a damn thing, unless you like fat, balding, old fucks, who can't
>play good music to save their wrinkled skins.
>
>c.f.


Well, you can buy high-grade hallucinogens at their concerts for reasonable
prices, or so I hear.

Mark., surely the secret of their popularity
gooley@netcom.com
From: cs360@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Geoffrey William Buhl)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: One word substance
Date: 25 Jan 1993 21:42:34 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: cs360@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Geoffrey William Buhl)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, rjones@itchy.dsd.es.com (Ray Jones - Perp) says:

>
>Ublick.
>
>Or Ooblick.
>
>I'm not sure of the spelling.  I am pretty sure that there aren't many
>substances with such a high 
>
>	(bizarrity) / (accessibility, ease of creation, cost) 
>
>ratio.
>
>For the uninitiated:
>
>	Ublick is usually a liquid.  It's interesting propoerty is
[B>	that when you try to change its shape quickly, it resists.  In
>	other words, you can roll a ball of it in your hands, and as
>	long as you continue to change the axis along which you're
>	rolling it, it will stay a solid ball.  If you stop, you're
>	left holding a liquid.  Or not holding a liquid, really.  
>
>	You can play catch with it, if you're coordinated enough.
>	Catch it with a sort of slap, to harden it, then roll it to
>	reform it into a ball.  Toss it back to whoever.  It goes
>	liquid in midair.
>
>	In a bowl, mix equal parts of water and corn starch by volume.
>	Continue adding one or the other until the contents reach the
>	*weird* point.  This point can be tested by trying to put your
>	finger into the bowl.  If you move slowly, you'll encounter as
>	much resistance as you'd expect from water.  If you move
>	quickly, you should get an inch or so into it before your
>	finger is stopped as if it hit a rock.  If you move very
>	quickly, your finger should bounce off the surface.  If it's
>	too resistant to change, add a little water.  If it's too
>	liquid to allow you to tear off handfuls, add corn starch.
>
>	Cleaning up can be a problem.  If you drop a large amount of
>	it, most of it can be picked up by slapping it and then
>	scraping it off the ground.  Small bits can be left to dry and
>	vacuumed later.  It's not suggested you play with this stuff
>	over shag carpet.
>
>Now, what I'd like to know is an explanation of why it acts the way it
>does.  I'm assuming it's some sort of motion sensitive polymer.  Does
>anyone know?
>
>Ray
>--
>                                          rjones@dsd.es.com
>"If you're not reading tee bee, you're just reading news" - wbiesele
>

Yes, Iknow exactly how it works.  When you try to move it quickly, the
water molecules move away from the starch, and the starch molecules are
left to for a solid.  When the water flow back, disolving the starch again,
turning it into what you could call a liquid.   It is fun stuff though.
Yes, Iknow I used disolved loosly.

Geoff
From: grendel@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (The Termite of Temptation)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Ode to the UPS Delivery Woman
Date: 21 Jan 1993 07:09:07 GMT
Organization: The Church of Pat
NNTP-Posting-Host: 129.89.7.4


Ode to the UPS Delivery Woman
-----------------------------

Oh, you sweet, tender thing
How I adore your lithe, delicate body
As it carries a package of books
Straight to my door
And into my heart.
I long to take you into your brown van
And make love to you amid the boxes and packages.
Alas, it shall never be
As our meeting was too, too brief.
My heart will always leap
At the sight of that familar truck
Traveling worldwide.


Mark "C.O.D." Lippert
From: pjm@isis.cshl.org (Pat Monardo)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: strange advertisement
Date: 26 Jan 93 21:08:12 GMT
Organization: Cold Spring Harbor Labs

In article <1993Jan26.192409.8460@netcom.com> gooley@netcom.com (Mark. Gooley) writes:
>Some years ago there was a magazine ad featuring a portrait-style photograph
>of a Japanese engineer; underneath it was the caption, in large letters,
>"I am you," followed by text.
>
>That, or my memory is playing tricks on me.
>
>If I recall, the text did not adequately explain the caption but ended with
>a repetition of its words.
>
>Anyone else recall this, or am I mad, or both?

yes. but that is a mistranslation. the correct translation is
"I have your job".

-- 
-- Pat Monardo
-- pjm@cshl.org
From: dsc3jfs@nmrdc1.nmrdc.nnmc.navy.mil (Jim Small)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: girl no longer pursued by lesbians
Date: 28 Jan 93 15:13:33 GMT
Organization: Naval Medical Research & Development Command

In article <C1HHs9.5FH@taurus.cs.nps.navy.mil> rpwhite@cs.nps.navy.mil (rpwhite) writes:
>David Lester writes:
>
>>    "[The Athenians] summoned forces from their allies, and these forces
>>     arrived all the sooner because they saw so little evidence of
>>     vigorous action on the part of the Lesbians." [1]
>
>
>And that's why we had to kick them all out of the military.
And that's why we had to lick them all.


-- 
I hate the 3B2
The 3B2 can bite me.
From: nrp@csug3.cs.reading.ac.uk ("Independent direction socks" Neilski)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: 10 word Blues Brothers
Date: 25 Jan 93 16:07:48 GMT
Reply-To: nrp@csug.cs.reading.ac.uk
Organization: University of Reading

Rollin', rollin', rollin',
Rollin', rollin', rollin',
Rollin', rollin', rollin',
Rawhide

-- neilski

-- 
    nuqDaq yuch Dapol?    |  _ __        _          |A wig saved my life once. 
--------------------------| ' )  )      //     /    |--------------------------
    The knuckles!  The    |  /  / _  o // _   /_  o |   Anything is good if    
    horrible knuckles!    | /  (_</_<_</_/_)_/ <_<_ | it's made of chocolate.
From: kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov (Scott Dorsey)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: RFD 2500: Karma and USENET Cosmology
Date: 27 Jan 1993 20:33:35 GMT
Organization: NASA Langley Research Center and Reptile Farm
NNTP-Posting-Host: grissom.larc.nasa.gov
Keywords: Karma, Posting, Poster, Usenet, Cosmology

In article <C1J2pz.5MM@phage.cshl.org> pjm@isis.cshl.org (Pat Monardo) writes:
>With the introduction of Karma into the USENET (UN) community,
>a distinct cosmology will inevitably evolve. The key
>to the orderly evolution of the UN is the proper
>understanding of Karma and how Karma effects
>one's rebirth status in the UN.

Please decrement karma counter.
--scott
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: aaron@atlantis.uucp
Subject: Clearing The Attic
Organization: Atlantis Communications, Edmonton, AB, Canada
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL8]
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1993 03:30:30 GMT


<Imagine my chagrin, just when I had thought my four-word story assignments
were all done, and then I discover, lurking in a mailbox, a request from the
esteemed Curtis Yarvin, using the words

ping-pong paddle
palm lotion
panting
pillory

one of the above objects must be destroyed; two must
become dripping wet.

you have 300 words.

note that palm lotion is already dripping wet.>


Fay carried the last box down from the attic.  She probably had enough for a
good garage sale, but she might as well be thorough.  Besides, she didn't want
to leave too much behind when she moved out.

She stepped on Pallas' tail, and the dog leapt up with a yelp.  "Sorry, girl,"
Fay said.  That dog never learned.  She set the box on the kitchen floor and
looked inside.

More junk.  Of course.  Nothing they had ever missed in twelve years.  Nothing
that Morton had asked for when he left.  Just a bunch of junk, mostly broken.

Well, those old ping-pong paddles looked salvageable.  They hadn't used them
since Morton broke the table, but they were in fine condition, albeit
incredibly dusty.  She dumped them into the pail of water and wiped them off a
few times, then set them on a towel.

Underneath those was what looked like an old hunk of wood.  She pulled it out,
and remembered what it was.  That stupid pillory that Morton had picked up
from that souvenir shop, that had ripped a big hole in the painting she had
bought.  And then he'd just tossed it up in the attic, and they never saw it
again.  Maybe somebody would buy it here.  She wiped it off with the rag.

Pallas lay on the floor watching her, tongue hanging out of her mouth.  Stupid
dog, she thought.  Morton wouldn't even take her when he left.  What the hell
am I going to do with her?

One more thing left in the box.  A tube of palm lotion.  Right--they'd found
out it was toxic, and never used it.

An idea came to her.  With a grin, she tossed it to Pallas.  "Eat it up,
doggie," she said.  Pallas chewed on the tube gladly.


-- 
---Alfvaen(Still looking for "October's Baby")
"I tell everyone a different story...that way nothing's ever boring."              ---Jane Siberry
Current Album--Cactus World News:Urban Beaches
Current Read--Michelle Sagara:Into The Dark Lands
From: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Stop the world, I wanna get off.
Date: 26 Jan 93 23:36:15 GMT
Reply-To: L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk (Lloyd Wood)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.

In article <1993Jan26.165304.13203@black.ox.ac.uk> tbrann@oxford.ac.uk (Tony Brannigan) writes:
>I was doing a practical this morning, when I noticed that while
>longitude extends from 180' East to 180' West, latitude only extends
>from 90' North to 90' South.  What happened to the other 180' of
>latitude?
>I can only conclude the Earth is shrinking :-(
>

Nice to see that Oxford is still the home of Britain's brightest people.
Good luck with your GCSE Geography coursework.
>T
>-- 
>"And soon all of us will sleep under the earth, | tbrann@ox.ac.uk
>  we who never let each other sleep above it."  | u90afb@ecs.ox.ac.uk
>   Marina Tsvetayeva 1915                       |
From: josh@cqs.washington.edu (Josh Hayes)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Easily confused
Date: 21 Jan 93 18:38:29 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: pogo.cqs.washington.edu

There's a discussion in news.groups about a new group that
I persist in reading as

soc.religion.moron

which is, I suppose, not far off....

the doc
--
  Josh Hayes, Quantitative Sciences HR-20 U of Washington
  josh@mowgli.cqs.washington.edu             206 543-5004
     The harvest now is over, the summer days are gone
	     And yet no power cometh to help us
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:46504 alt.prose:1726
From: zgilbert@titan.ucs.umass.edu (Zvi Gilbert)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.prose
Subject: Afternoon Tea
Followup-To: talk.bizarre
Date: 26 Jan 1993 03:07:51 -0500
Organization: crystallized time
NNTP-Posting-Host: titan.ucs.umass.edu
Summary: pathetic fallacy inverted


As I raised the tea to my lips, a high pitched drumming sound 
coming from the cup made me look down.  The tea looked... fluffy?  
And... grey?  Startled, I put the cup down rather sharply in its 
saucer, tipping the milk over.
  
A small and violent storm burst out of the cup in a shower of tiny 
drops.  It was grey, tinged with white, and resembled nothing so 
much as a large baseball made of lint.  It zigzagged around the 
room, wetting the floor in an irregular trail.  Little flashes of 
lightning and high-pitched, soft thunder emanated from the small 
storm.  It slowed down fairly quickly, and started drifting 
between the couch and the easy chair, as if they were the 
boundaries of some tropical zone.  I sighed as water began to soak 
into the Persian carpet.
 
"Dearest," I enquired, pitching my voice so as to penetrate to the 
next room, "were you at all angry when you made the tea?"
 
Eugene emerged from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. 
"Well, not as such, darling... well, perhaps I was a tad miffed at 
what you said about my culinary abilities."
 
"My dear," I said bitingly, "you *have* created a tempest in a 
teapot."
 
His gaze slowly moved to take in the overturned tea things, the 
wetted floor and rugs, and the miniature storm now occupying the 
centre of the room.  "Oh my," he breathed.
 
My heart went out to him then, as an expression of remorse swept 
over his face.  I motioned him forward him with one slender arm.
 
"Eugene, my sweet, it's alright, really.  And you know," I said, 
leaning forward casually and exposing my ample cleavage, "tropical 
storms always did make me... excited."
 
He cocked one eyebrow, and sat down, grinning devlishly.  "Shall 
we pour a cup or two more," he asked, "and perhaps turn out the 
lights?" 
 
And the last scene I will leave you with, gentle Reader, is the 
two of us coupling on the chaise lounge, while several miniature 
storms drift around in the room, occaisionally wetting our 
overheated limbs as they pass over, and several times striking us 
gently with little lightning prods.


--Zvi Gilbert
zgilbert@titan.ucc.umass.edu
From: lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: help groups
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 93 17:43:19 PST
Organization: The Portal System (TM)
Distribution: world

Joachim:
: What we really need is a Deities Anonymous.
: 
: "Hello, my name is Thor, and... uh...  I am a Thunder God."

I agree. They seem to be in a abject state these days, the poor things.

The world could do with a bit of Ancient-Times-style stirring up, as we
all seem to have become so blase' and existential; or at least within the
decadent confines within which I operate.

Thor on hammer percussion bestride The White House, while a minor deity
plays the sax all over the eastern seaboard simultaneously. Well, you
know, that sort of thing. A shake-up, as it were.

Tiddly pom. 
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
| lord snooty @the giant |  inceptus clamor frustratur hiantes             |
| poisoned electric head |              andrew_-_palfreyman@cup.portal.com |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: dnelson@icaen.uiowa.edu (David Nelson)
Subject: the super bowel
Summary: fee fie fo fum
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 10:16:12 GMT
Organization: University of Iowa, Iowa City, IA, USA
X-Newsreader: NN version 6.4.19
Keywords: klatu barada nikto, fnord, Muffy The TriDelt, oralgasm

Peristalsis pondered that his nostrils hairs, upon removal,
varied in hue from tip to stem.  Dick Bigg attended the
semenary, went, then came again.  Assasination is not
assignation is not assonant is not Slick Willy the
Arkansaw Pimp.  We are not not strange enough; when the
going gets tough, the weird turn (plagaristically) pro.

Forsooth, the Grode hath spoken.  Do apply suction to
my crinkled brown sphincter ere the moon phases yet again.

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: an6946@anon.penet.fi (Hieronymous Bitch)
Subject: All Dressed Up
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: talk.bizarre
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 13:18:09 GMT

What do punk porcupines do to piss off their parents?
Spiked hair and studded jackets just won't make it.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
Due to the double-blind system, any replies to this message will be anonymized,
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Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: page@aethelwulf.cs.odu.edu ()
Subject: Short, Shameful Confession
Organization: Old Dominion University, Norfolk, Va
Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1993 15:15:59 GMT



I read alt.flame with Re: in my killfile.


d.
-- 
Obsongquote:  "I crucify my hate and hold the whole world
		in my hands."  --Yes
page@cs.odu.edu
From: operjfw@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Waldby)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: I little poem.....
Date: 22 Jan 1993 21:20:58 GMT
Organization: Computer Science Department at Rose-Hulman
Reply-To: operjfw@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
NNTP-Posting-Host: g222-25.nextwork.rose-hulman.edu

In article <1993Jan21.024600.3889@koko.csustan.edu>  
msmith@koko.csustan.edu (Marlan Smith) writes:
> 
> 
> 		I love you in blue,
> 
> 		I love you in red.
> 
> 		But most of all......... (and then some too)
> 
		I love you fucking dead
From: R.M.Chandler@lut.ac.uk
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: 10-word advertisement
Date: 21 Jan 93 12:22:08 GMT
Reply-To: R.M.Chandler@lut.ac.uk (Richard Chandler)
Organization: Loughborough University, UK.

Lloyd,

	what the hell is all this about ariston, just because they make
	washing machines ...

	o o
	 -
	-_-

	Luv and huggs,

                               Richard Chandler.

Final Year Computing Student  @  Loughborough (Lufbra) University Of Technology

Internet : R.M.Chandler@hpb.lut.ac.uk        Janet : R.M.Chandler@uk.ac.lut.hpb

               These are my views, and I haven't got a funny sig.
From: josh@cqs.washington.edu (Josh Hayes)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: CJ (and others): help wanted!
Date: 21 Jan 93 18:39:45 GMT
Organization: University of Washington
NNTP-Posting-Host: pogo.cqs.washington.edu

Hey, my wife and I are considering buying a house that's 
right behind the Jehovah's Witness hall....it's probably
too expensive unless we can do some stuff that will REALLY
IRRITATE them.

I'm open to suggestions.....

the doc
--
  Josh Hayes, Quantitative Sciences HR-20 U of Washington
  josh@mowgli.cqs.washington.edu             206 543-5004
     The harvest now is over, the summer days are gone
	     And yet no power cometh to help us
From: curtis@cs.berkeley.edu (Curtis Yarvin)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: das orgeltod
Date: 25 Jan 1993 09:31:41 GMT
Organization: CS Dept. Snakepit - Do Not Feed.
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: mamba.cs.berkeley.edu

In article <74296@cup.portal.com> lordSnooty@cup.portal.com (Andrew - Palfreyman) writes:
>moi:
>>and omits the umlaut substitute "e", which is to succeed the "o",
>>in cologne.
>c:
>: not at all.  in fact i fell prey to the infamous umlaut eater.
>: show some mercy to poor little brutalized me, ok?
>: or i'll break all your fingers and throw you in the thames
>
>heheh.
>clearly someone who can dish it out, but can't take it.
>
>i refer to your (absolutely correct rectal-itch satisfying)
>post of late about my dropping of the "r" in a word which,
>nevertheless of my own creation and penned as "malappopiapism",
>was intended as a multilevel and slightly clever pun, of course.

'Malappopiapism' indeed.  I've said it once and I'll say it again -
the word is "malapriapism."  We can't have you Limeys coming over
and mutilating the President's English.  Pretentious gits.

>having taken this in good spirit, i have the pleasure in returning
>the compliment, and what happens?  - a racist outburst highlighting
>my nationality from a member of a multicultural society who is
>behaving like a yahoo nigger, and a threat of an act of vacuous
>violence; vacuous in that, personally having shaken your hand over
>a go board, i am certain that, short of using the steel post, you
>wouldn't get within mewling distance of achieving this.

Hah.  Steel post, huh?  

As most of you have probably not seen this depraved creature I
shall have to explain.  Before that fateful meeting I imagined
Andrew-Palfreyman as a slightly-larger version of Sid Vicious,
except with better dental hygiene.

When I discovered that, in fact, he looked like a fiftyish
Bilbo Baggins visiting the Spanish coast on a packaged football
holiday, the sort of mildly perverted tourist who wears a
Hawaiian shirt and pinches the stewardess' ass, a man
reminiscent of nothing so much as Bob Hoskins in "Mona Lisa,"
well... I wasn't, in fact, shocked.  But I think I may have
snickered a little.

>what you need is a good spanking.

Uh huh.  Yeah.  Yeah, I can see your type being into spanking.
Quintessentially English pastime.  When the rest of the world
has moved on to electric butt plugs, fuzzy-logic vibrators,
and genetically-engineered bull's pizzles, the English will
still be spanking twenty-peso whores in stuccoed motel rooms
on the Costa del Sol.

So much for Empire.

c
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: rjones@itchy.dsd.es.com (Ray Jones - Perp)
Subject: One word substance
Organization: Design Systems Division, Evans & Sutherland, SLC, UT
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 93 21:03:52 GMT


Ublick.

Or Ooblick.

I'm not sure of the spelling.  I am pretty sure that there aren't many
substances with such a high 

	(bizarrity) / (accessibility, ease of creation, cost) 

ratio.

For the uninitiated:

	Ublick is usually a liquid.  It's interesting propoerty is
	that when you try to change its shape quickly, it resists.  In
	other words, you can roll a ball of it in your hands, and as
	long as you continue to change the axis along which you're
	rolling it, it will stay a solid ball.  If you stop, you're
	left holding a liquid.  Or not holding a liquid, really.  

	You can play catch with it, if you're coordinated enough.
	Catch it with a sort of slap, to harden it, then roll it to
	reform it into a ball.  Toss it back to whoever.  It goes
	liquid in midair.

	In a bowl, mix equal parts of water and corn starch by volume.
	Continue adding one or the other until the contents reach the
	*weird* point.  This point can be tested by trying to put your
	finger into the bowl.  If you move slowly, you'll encounter as
	much resistance as you'd expect from water.  If you move
	quickly, you should get an inch or so into it before your
	finger is stopped as if it hit a rock.  If you move very
	quickly, your finger should bounce off the surface.  If it's
	too resistant to change, add a little water.  If it's too
	liquid to allow you to tear off handfuls, add corn starch.

	Cleaning up can be a problem.  If you drop a large amount of
	it, most of it can be picked up by slapping it and then
	scraping it off the ground.  Small bits can be left to dry and
	vacuumed later.  It's not suggested you play with this stuff
	over shag carpet.

Now, what I'd like to know is an explanation of why it acts the way it
does.  I'm assuming it's some sort of motion sensitive polymer.  Does
anyone know?

Ray
--
                                          rjones@dsd.es.com
"If you're not reading tee bee, you're just reading news" - wbiesele
From: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: Mushy_O_Phobic v. CloseAirSupport_O_Phobics
Date: 21 Jan 1993 23:38:33 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Reply-To: an072@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Richard White)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


In a previous article, english@alicudi.usc.edu (Joe English) says:

>
>In article <C169CK.616@tegra.com>, vail@tegra.com (Johnathan Vail) writes:
>|> In article <schnitzi.727451528@eola.cs.ucf.edu> schnitzi@cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius) writes:
>|>> 
>|>>   Hmmm....  Could we say FDR was a phobophobe?
>|>
>|> Could we say FDR was afraid of an international lightbulb cartel?
>|> 
>
>We could, but I wouldn't mention the international lightbulb
>cartel [there is no international lightbulb cartel (tm)] if
>I were you.
>
>Besides, Phobophobe is somebody's moon.  You're thinking of 
>a phoneme.

No, no, no!

A phoneme is the quantum of acoustic energy, regarded as a discrete
particle, used in mathematical models to calculate vibrational
properties of solids.

What your thinking of phenylalanine, a product of X Industries, which
does something nasty to phenylketonurics when they drink Diet Dr.
Pepper.
Xref: sparky talk.bizarre:46509 alt.fan.warlord:10366