From: rohwerwd@netcom.com (W. David Rohwer)
Subject: Bimbo/Jerk Definitions (Was:Re: Singles Expo in Palo Alto on 01/23)
Followup-To: soc.singles
Organization: The Tickle Palace - Moonyvale, CA
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1993 22:50:13 GMT


     I have directed follow-ups to soc.singles.

     If I have misinterpreted Ed's queries in terms of humor, then sue
me.

In article <77383@apple.apple.COM> erc@Apple.COM (Ed Carp) writes:
>In article <1993Jan23.103243.29625@netcom.com> rohwerwd@netcom.com (W. David Rohwer) writes:
>
>>     Last night, the 22nd, the Expo started with a Keynote address by
>>Jerry Murray, Ph.D. titled "Avoiding Bimbos and Jerks: How to Pick a
>>Winner in the Dating Game" followed by a Dance Party.  I had a very
>>good time listening to the address and dancing afterwards.
>
>So?  Who here qualifies as a Bimbo or Jerk, according to Dr. Murray?  What
>are the qualifications?   I think you oughta post a transcript as a public
>service to *.singles.
>-- 


     I did not take notes, but I did acquire Dr. Jerry Murray's definitions.
Here they are:

 Jerk:
   1) A Superhuman
      Complex         :  A jerk has a need to feel superior.  He places
                         an overemphasis on masculinity, competence,
                         abilities, and anything that makes him stand out.
                         Because of his need to feel superior he has an
                         almost complete inability to accept criticism
                         from a woman, especially his lady.  When
                         criticized he retaliates by attacking or
                         withdrawing. The woman must be strong enough not
                         to require anything of him beyond his
                         protestations of prowness, and weak enough not
                         to threaten his need to be superior.

   2) Sissy Fear      :  A jerk is always concerned someone my think he
                         is a "Sissy."  He has a fear of vulnerable
                         feelings, such as grief, shame, guilt, and
                         embarrassment.  He even avoids expressing
                         positive feelings such as love and tenderness
                         if he fears their expression will make him
                         vulnerable.

   3) Lord & Master
      Orientation     :  A jerk wants to be Lord and Master of the
                         relationship.  He denies equality between the
                         sexes and has an inability to accept a woman
                         as a partner.  He relegates her to "Trophy"
                         status and thinks of her as a possession -
                         valuable when giving, a nuisance when needing.
                         He treats a relationship as a Sole
                         Proprietorship, not a Partnership.

   4) Bedroom-Kitchen
      Focus           :  A jerk depersonalizes a woman by reducing her
                         value to what she can do for him in the bedroom
                         or the kitchen.  He only sees value in her if
                         she can provide him sexual gratification or
                         aid and comfort.  He is unable to relate to a
                         woman as a whole person and value her as a
                         human being.


 Bimbo:
   1) Value Fluff     :  A bimbo has materialistic values.  She is
                         attracted to a man for superficial reasons
                         such as appearance, wealth, and the degree of
                         excitement he generates.

   2) Sugar Daddy
      Hunger          :  A bimbo feels incomplete, frightened, and
                         inadequate by herself.  She wants a relationship
                         so someone can "take care of here."  This
                         overdependence on a man leads to a failure to
                         develop life skills.  She lacks personal goals
                         and ambition and craves a life of comfort and
                         ease.  She doesn't like to expend disciplined
                         effort or defer gratification.

   3) Sex Appeal
      Addiction       :  A bimbo is addicted to the need to be desirable.
                         This is manifested by an obsessive emphasis on
                         her physical appearance, especially those
                         features which make her "sexy".  Her greatest
                         fear is the fear of losing her attractiveness
                         and being unwanted and alone.

   4) Body Swapping   :  A bimbo is willing to swap her body for the
                         comfort she craves.  She treats her body as a
                         commodity giving it in trade for the favors she
                         desires.  She packages her sex appeal and markets
                         herself as a product then looks for a "buyer"
                         using her body as "bait" to catch a man.

-- 
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