From: David Douglas McCallum <kcjonz@wam.umd.edu>
Subject: HARPUA!! The lyrics...
Reply-To: kcjonz@wam.umd.edu
Organization: The Internet
Date: Tue, 13 Oct 1992 03:51:16 GMT

Well, IUve never seen anybody here on the .net
post a transcription of this crazy tune/story,
although thereUs plenty of evidence to suggest
that there is a significant cult following within
the Glide population. So I transcribed it!
 
The song part of the tune doesnUt vary all that
much from version to version, but the story
contained within certainly highlights different
aspects in each telling that IUve heard. This
transcription was based on my favorite rendition,
from the Wetlands, NYC 6-9-90. I *LOVE* FishmanUs
additions to the narration (seeing them in print
doesnUt do them full justice) and things get truly
chaotic as Jimmy tells why he named his cat...why
he called it...WHY IT HAS THE MONIKER OF...
 
well, you know...or if you donUt, then read on and
pick up a version of this song (I obviously
recommend THIS version). I hope you enjoy!
 
DMcC
 
HARPUA
 
"This next song is a story...and as with all
good stories, this story begins with an uhm-pa-pa"
- Trey, Molly's, Boston, 11-3-88
 
Uhm-pa-pa uhm-pa-pa uhm-pa-pa uhm-pa-paaaaa
 
Fat sweaty bulldog
Stood in the sun
Stone village swamp man
Slow motion run
Tender poled police walker
Precious birthday fudge
Swamp night and bull nail
Walk-a-dun-dun
 
Me and Harpua
We couldn't care few-a
It happens all the time
We beat Okimo
 
[Repeat Chorus]
 
Hot licker stone jack --> (licker=liquor?)
Bitter toothless flesh
Shabby pimple chin-slime
Evil milky rash
Me and Harpua
Spastic dead-eyed hound
Oozing dreadlock skullcap
We're coming to your town
We'll help you party down
 
[Chorus - 2x]
 
Spoken by Trey [with asides by Fishman]:
 
Once upon a time
Far far away from here
There, in a small town...a small town...
small town...small...
 
And on the outskirts of this town there lived a
mean, nasty, furry, ugly hound named Harpua.
Harpua roamed the outskirts of the town every
day  and he'd walk around looking for a little action.
 
So of course this day was no different from any
other day and here we start the story and we see
Harpua walking around on the outskirts of town
near the forest kind of at the edge of the forest
and he's walking in toward town...Harpua walked
toward the town...innocently... 
 
And meanwhile in the town...in a whole different part
of the town there lived a young boy all alonein a
suburban neighborhood and every day he'd sit in his
room and sit on his little couch [AND SMOKE POT!]...
he'd sit on his little couch and he'd listen to his
stereo...and he'd lay back and he'd look down next
to him and he'd pet his favorite little [DOG!] furry
little...oh, he loved his little...furry...thing that
he pet every day while he listened to his stereo
[while sitting on the couch] he'd pet his furry
[thing on the couch] his furry...
 
And he looked down and he said "I love to pet you,
my little furry...thing that I ... I love you so much that
I decided to name you this name that I love and so
I named you...I love you so... that's why...that's why
I pet you every day...that's why I named you...that's
why when I first got you and I knew how much I
loved you...I decided that I'd give you the name of...
the moniker of...I'd call you...your name is...
I DECIDED THAT YOUR NAME WOULD HAVE TO BE...
I'D CALL YOU...YOUR GOING TO BE CALLED...
I THINK YOUR NAME...I CALL YOU...
YOU'D GO AS...AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
 
POSTER NUTBAG!!!!!!!!
 
Poster Nutbag sat on the couch next to Jimmy...
Poster Nutbag, the furry little kitty-cat Jimmy's pet
sat next to Jimmy and he looked up at Jimmy...and
on this particular day Poster Nutbag decided to go
for a little walk so Poster Nutbag got up and walked
toward the door and Jimmyy went to the door and he
opened up the door and Poster Nutbag went outside
and he started walking across the yard..and he walk
onto the sidewalk and he started walking innocently
down the street and he walked down the street and
suddenly he found himself wandering...
into a new part of town that he'd never been to...
 
Let me take you to...FUNKYTOWN
Let me take you to...FUNKYTOWN
Let me take you to...FUNKYTOWN
Let me take you to...FUNKYTOWN
 
And when he got there he was walking along
and suddenly he rounded a corner and in front
of him he saw...he saw Harpua...Harpua, the
ugly dog from the beginning of the story...and
they looked at each other...tension filled the air...
there was going to be a nasty fight...Harpua saw
Poster Nutbag and began to growl and let a
hungry drop of saliva fall onto the floor...
Poster Nutbag coiled his body into a deadly arch...
the fight was about to begin...ARGAAAAAAAA!
 
Look, the storm's gone...
 
Dad [Page? Mike?]: Jimmy...
Jimmy [Fish]: Yes, Dad
D: Jimmy, I have some bad news...
J: What might that be...Dad?
D: It's about your cat, Poster...
J: You wouldn't be talking about Poster Nutbag,
   now would you?
 
YOUR CAT DIED!
Poster is dead
Poster is dead
Poster's SO dead
 
How about a goldfish?
 
     I don't want a goldfish
How about a goldFISH?
     I don't...want a goldfish
How about A goldfish?
     I don't want...a goldfish
What do you...what do you...what do you...
     I want...
What do you...
     A dog
     A dog
 
There's a dog in the station
With an ugly mutation
And it needs lubrication each day
 
There's a dog in the station
Contemplating rotation
As a form of recreation and play
 
A dog
 
There's a dog in the station
With a bad reputation
It's a sign of the nation's decay
 
But the dog in the station
Doesn't need a vacation
As the people rush by dressed in gray
 
A DOG
A DOG
A DOG!!
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