From: tang@akofin.enet.dec.com (Gabe Tang)
Subject: Re: Education and the Single World
Organization: the vms company
Date: 11 NOV 92 11:28:35 EST


re: (H. Allisson Roome) ..........
>I have a question for you all -- how important is formal education
>versus native intelligence and self-education in those that you are
>romantically interested in?
>Here are a couple of scenarios:
>1.
>  You meet someone who is articulate, well-informed, and
>  knowledgeable on several diverse subjects.  After spending some
>  time with them and getting to enjoy their company how do
>  you feel about pursuing them as a romantic partner given that:
> 
>  A) They have a significant amount more formal schooling (ie,
>     degrees) than you.  

	Significant?! Oh well.....okay. I'd think she'd be a professional 
	student if that were the case, but it would be okay. Does she have
	a job? any income at all? or is an heiress?  :-)

>  B) have approximately the same amount of education as you

	fine.

>  C) they have never finished college (or for the younger readers
>     high school).

	That okay too. If I married her and she wanted to get a degree, I'd
	send her off to school. If she didn't, I'd send her off to work! ;^)
	If she wanted to raise a family....then who needs a degree.  8-}

>Do any of those scenarios affect your willingness to date that
>person -- especially given that you already like them.

	Of course it does. The totality of the person is considered beyond
	just the one aspect of education or intelligence. Several other
	major considerations are but not limited to physical looks, income 
	generation, material assets, lifestyle, familial backgrounds and 
	traits, life ambitions/goals/expectations, and maybe even a distinct 
	tolerance/warmth/affection/love for me!  :-)
	That is, while there may be some weakness in one or more of these
	aspects, they would/should be offset in one or more of the other 
	factors. But, given that I have considered the overall person and 
	still desire to commingle with her I suppose the most important at
	that point is the last one.....................................
	that she have tolerance/warmth/affection/love for me!  Let's face it,
	if there's no interest, it doesn't matter how intelligent she may
	be.............she couldn't have been that smart for rejecting me! 8-(

>2.
>  You meet someone who has a difficult time expressing themselves,
>  isn't aware of the world beyond their immediate sphere of
>  influence, and appears not to know an awful lot about
>  much of anything (except perhaps a narrow area). After spending
>  some time with them and getting to enjoy their company how do you
>  feel about pursuing them as a romantic partner given that:
> 
>  A) They have a significant amount more formal schooling (ie,
>     degrees) than you.  
>  B) have approximately the same amount of education as you
>  C) they have never finished college (or for the younger readers
>     high school).

	Well, if she's a good learner.....I suppose I could impart some of
	my knowledge on those areas she is lacking in.  ;^p
	....or maybe introduce her to some things she hasn't done much of....
	lately........ ;^))

>Do any of the above affect how you relate to the person as a
>potential romantic interest?

	And just what do you mean by "romantic interest"? If it's just the
	physical aspects you want, then probably no man is going to be 
	stopped short by a woman's limited field of interest if her physical
	assets are desirable.  :-}   But, if you are asking would there be
	any longevity to such a relation, it would probably be no, unless
	the man didn't care about her range of knowledge. Actually, since
	this is probably close to the norm, tell her to go out and meet 
	any average guy off the street, he probably won't care what she
	knows or doesn't know, as long as she is compliant and can keep
	him satisfied in those limited ways that he enjoys her company. Now, 
	what she sees as desirable in that sort of arrangement is beyond me, 
	but unfortunately, I believe the majority of relations out there are
	closer to that than not. eh...oh well....   :-I

>3
>    Now, what if the person in the first scenario never finished
>    college and the person in the second has a PhD.  Which one
>    would you date?  Why?

	Again, nobody of a rational mind with a view toward a prolonged
	relation would look at just the 1 factor you have selected. And
	even if they were to, viewing either case as a deficiency is merely
	temporary as either could be corrected/improved by time, money and
	learning. If a decision were based solely on your hypothetical
	proposal, ceteris paribus, then a rational man would probably be
	looking at only a short-term affair, not an extended relation. And
	given this, a rational man would choose the one that he enjoyed
	being with better. Remember, ceteris paribus, if they both walk like
	a duck and talk like a duck, I'd pick the duck that cuddled up better!
	.......hypothetically speaking, of course.  ;-)))))