From: c8923075@frey.newcastle.edu.au (Chris Baird)
Subject: [8F24] Kamp Krusty
Keywords: simpsons
Organization: The Ersatz Episode Capsule Co.  (ambiguity intentional)
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 05:34:17 GMT

Was it just our good fortune this episode was shown in Australia
unexpectedly early, an insidious attempt to attract viewers to the
`Home Alone II' special shown afterwards, or just for the opportunity
to crack a weak pun in the promotion?

--
Chris Baird,,  <c8923075@mystra.newcastle.edu.au>
after 1st Dec: <chris@glencoe.apana.org.au>

SPOILERS!

==================================================================== 23-Nov-92
> [8F24] Kamp Krusty
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
The Blackboard:   This punishment is not
                    boring and pointless
                  This punishment is not
                    boring and pointl    - at cutoff.

Lisa's Sax Solo:  upbeat with a funky rhythm. {recycled from 8f11}

The Driveway:  Homer does not shake his fist at Bart;
               says D'oh as Lisa scrapes past;
               and screams `Waaagh!' as the Marge's car closes in on him.

The Couch:  Special cameo appearance by the Flintstones.  Fred, Wilma
            and Pebbles have already taken their positions on the
            couch has the Simpsons rush in.

==============================================================================
> Popular References
==============================================================================
    ? Ren & Stimpy
        - the underwear trick?
   ++ Ben Hur
        - the `Gucci Wallet Sweat Shop' scene; the pattern the kids were
          sitting in, and production being paced by the beating of a drum.
          {bc,ajr}
    + Wuthering Heights? Dr. Zivago? Far From The Madding Crowd?
        - Lisa, dressed in a shawl, handing the letter to the man on
          horseback.  She uses alcohol to pay for the postage.
    + Lord of the Flies
        - kids reverting to using spears and wearing war paint.
        - the burning effigy? (cf: the doomed parachutist)
        - a pig's head (covered in flies) skewered on a stake behind
          Kent Brockman. {bw}
    ~ James Bond
        - the classical villains' escape by hydrofoil.
    ? The 1991 Soviet coup; the fall of Lenin's monument.
        - the Krusty totem pole is victim to the same fate; the way that
          it was pulled down, and flag waving.

>> Scenes so unusual they <just><have><to><be> references..

    ... Ms. Hoover: ``Lisa...you're...hurting me!''
    ... the pose Homer and Marge struck on the picnic blanket.
    ... Bart slowly lifting his head so we can see his face.
    ... the entrance to Tijuana.

==============================================================================
> Did You Notice
==============================================================================
    ... the last day of school was Friday, June 12th. (which is correct for
        1992. -rlg)
    ... the ``Give A Hoot  Wash Up'' poster in the 2nd grade classroom. {rc}
    ... a kid streaking on the bus? {rd}
    ... Martin has pens in his shirt pocket even while on vacation?
    ... Maggie fell once? (at the picnic)

==============================================================================
> Lists and Freeze-Frame Fun
==============================================================================
>> Bart and Lisa's Report Cards
{rlg}

Bart's:          REPORT CARD
        -----------------------------
        SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

        Student:  Simpson, Bart
                -------------------------
            Arithmetic      D-
        Social Studies      D-
               Conduct      D-
               History      D-
                   Art      D-
                  P.E.      D-

Lisa's: All graded with an "A", except for a "B+" in Conduct,
        and she took English instead of History.

>> Inside Bart's locker
{rlg,cjb}
        spent multi-coloured wads of chewing gum
        green moss and coffee(?) leaking in from the above locker
        set-square, protractor
        a disused lunch box being used to grow mushrooms
        pink gook leaking from the lunchbox/fungurium
        a large blue jar
        a woodwind recorder
        a light purple textbook with a Bart skull on the cover
        dark purple textbook
        a book of matches(?) a deck of cards(?)
        miniature football shoe
        a broken slingshot disguised as a clothes line
        a sock w/ 2 red stripes providing for an impromptu pencil case
        banana skin
        the potato(e) Science experiment.
        grey socks with red toes and heels
        another slingshot
        gym shorts with an S in corner

>> Marge's letter

        Dear Kids,
           I hope this letter finds
        you well.  We are doing
        great.  Your father is
        ----------   --------
        in the best shape he's
        been since.... well, ever.
        We miss you terribly.
        I hope these jellybean
        ---  ---------   ------
        cookies will tide you
        over until you get home.

             Love,
                  Mom & Dad

>> Lisa's letter

      .------------------------------.
      | Lisa Simpson            XXXX |
      |                         XXXX |
      | To Mr. and Mrs. Simpson      |
      | 430 Spalding Way             |
      |   Springfield.  U.S.A        |
      |                              |
      `------------------------------'

>> Misc
    - Lottery numbers: 17 32 5 8 47
    - Bart's locker combination: 36-24-36

==============================================================================
> Animation and continuity goofs
==============================================================================
    ... when Lisa was looking at her report card, the writing is pointed
        away from her for a couple of seconds. {om}
    ... as Marge was packing Bart's clothes, they briefly showed a mirror's
        image of Bart, but the image wasn't drawn properly; his leg should
        have been reversed. {so}

==============================================================================
> References to previous episodes
==============================================================================
   [7F08] Bart's Science experiment.  (``June 12th; still just a potatoe..'')

Simpsons Illustrated also consistently mentions the story of the ill-fated
television sit-com ``President Clown''.

==============================================================================
> Lyrics
==============================================================================
>> ``South of the Border''
{rlg} (sung over the closing credits.)                 [Postcards on the edge]

    South of the border,[Krusty buys everyone a sombrero that's way too large]
                                     [the kids (sans Lisa) watch a cock fight]
    Down Mexico way.                  [Bart and Lisa find Krusty on the ground
                                        after he's drunk of bottle of Tequila]
    That's where I fell in love [Bart has `Aye Caramba' tattooed in his chest]
                                               [The kids say Adios to Tijuana]
    When stars above came out to play.  [Krusty runs like crazy after the bus]

    And now as I wander,
    My thoughts have restrained,
    South of the border
    Down Mexico way

    She was a picture,
    In old Spanish lace.
    And just for a tender while
    I kissed the smile upon her face.
    For it was Fiesta,
    And we were so gay,
    South of the border
    Down Mexico way

    (band continues without vocals for ~15 seconds)

    Those mission bells told me
    That I must not stray.
    South of the border,
    Down Mexico way!

    Ole!  (instead of the Gracie `Shhhh!')

==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Larry ? {las}:  I wondered if I would ever pan a show.  Well, I need wonder
    no longer.  Kamp Krusty had a few good gags and a lot of potential, but
    it was often predictable and drawn out.  Also, a lot of the animation
    was not up to par (a few scenes were quite well done, though -- like
    Lisa giving the letter).

    Highlights:
        The couch sequence
        Goodbye scene with the parents
        "I no longer fear hell" - Lisa
        Krisis at Kamp Krusty
            - the play on TV news coverage
            - Lord of the Flies (including the skewered pig)
        Marge and Homer

    Midlights:
        Mail give-out
        Martin and his imitation gruel
        TV Video voice-over

    Lowlights:
        This is already a tad on the analytical...  If you loved this
        show, great.  That makes one of us. :(

Yours Truly {cjb}:  Rushed.  In the past I've attributed poor storylines to
    the unsuccess of a show, but the voice direction for the first part of
    this episode (including that from the usually splendid Ms. Smith) was
    that abysmal, it should accept the responsibility for most of the jokes
    falling flat. If this happens again, I'm buying a tin of red grease paint.

==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
``Leaves of three, let them be.'' is a traditional American camper rhyme to
avoid the Poison Ivy and Poison Oak.  ``Leaves of Four'' is (by popular
opinion) just a typically doofus thing for Homer to say.

Martin Price's Father has dyed his hair (or bleached his face?) since
``Bart the Genius''.

An American being honoured with a Knighthood?  What the hey?

>> The quality of the animation

Raymond Flournoy {rsf}:  I really thought I could see a difference in the
    animation.  From the way the characters moved, to some subtle changes
    in their facial expressions, the show had a somehow different look.
    Was this just my imagination?

John R. Donald {jrd}:  I agree [w/ the subtle differences].  It was very
    cartoon-like, which I guess is an odd criticism for a cartoon.

==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene summaries
==============================================================================
 Mrs. K: Well children, it's the last day of school.
 Class:  *Yaaaaay!*
 Mrs. K: Here are your grades..  [ominous chords from the orchestra]
 Bart:   Oh No!  Mrs. Krabappel, if I don't get a C average, my dad won't
         let me go to Kamp Krusty!
 Mrs. K: Well, it isn't fair to the other children, but alright.
         [replaces the F-'s on the report card with C's]
 Bart:   Much obliged, doll.  [slaps Mrs. K's behind]
 Mrs. K: Heh heh heh..  Oh Bart Simpson, I'm gonna miss you.

 Skinner: [on the P.A] Attention everyone, this is Principal Skinner.
          I trust you all remembered to bring in your implements of
          destruction?
 Class:   [retrieves various deadly weapons from their desks]
 Skinner: Now let's trash this dump!

To Alice Cooper's ``School's-Out-For-Summer!'', for the first time ever, an
elementary school becomes a scene of havoc and mindless destruction.

 Skinner: Somebody put a torch to these permanent records!  Quickly now!

But it was all a dream..

 Homer: Wake up boy.
 Bart:  [groans] Oh.  I dreamt it was the last day of school.
 Homer: Well, it is!
 Bart:  How do I know this isn't some beautiful dream, too?
        [Homer whacks him on the head with a newspaper]
 Bart:  Ow!  You know, a pinch is more traditional.

OFF sit down to breakfast, to their usual `starving jackals' impersonation.

 Marge: Homer, you do remember your promise to the children?
 Homer: Sure do!  When you're 18, you're out the door!
 Lisa:  No, Dad.  You promised if Bart and I got C averages we could go to
        Kamp Krusty.  And with no false modesty, you're lookin' at one happy
        camper.
 Bart:  [sheepishly]  Uh, yeah, well, just remember when you see my report
        card that they've got this whole new grading system this year; it
        now goes D-B-A-C.
 Homer: Now listen boy, we have an understanding and you better keep your
        end of it.  I don't think I'd be any kind of a father if you got D's
        and I let you go to Kamp Krusty.
 Bart:  But Dad--
 Homer: Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for
        it.  Now quiet!  They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Bart and the other children empty their lockers into the hallway instead of
the nearby waste baskets.  Bart opens the combination lock for his (36-24-36)
and sounds of the jungle escape (drums, monkeys, but *no* Kookaburra!)

 Bart:  Uh, let's see what we got here; Ah, my gym shorts!

The material is stiff enough for Bart to fold them into a aeroplane.
In Lisa's classroom..

 Ms. H: Here are your final report cards.  I have nothing left to say to any
        of you, so if nobody minds, let's just quietly run out the clock.

Lisa reassuredly scans through her grades, and is unprepared for her Conduct
assessment..

 Lisa:  [gasp!] I've never gotten a B before.  How could this have happened?!
        I feel so dirty [wipe wipe]  The dirt's not coming off!  Okay; calm
        down; this must just be a little typo.  Heh heh.  Oh Miss hoover!
        There appears to be a mistake on my report card.  You gave me a B+ in
        conduct!?
 Ms. H: Now Lisa, everyone needs a blotch on their permanent record.
 Lisa:  [grabs Miss H's hand]  Perhaps I'm not making myself clear. [angrily,
        squeezing Miss H's hand tighter]  I think you should reconsider!
 Ms. H: Lisa... you're... Hurting me!

In the 4th grade classroom Bart waits impatiently for Mrs. Krabappel to
finish grading his report card.

 Bart:   Mrs. Krabappel, in figuring out my final grades, I hope you'll note
         that all of my textbooks are being returned in *excellent* condition.
         In some cases, still in their original wrappings!
 Mrs. K: Duly noted.
 Bart:   I'd just like to add, as I gaze upon your beauty, I've never seen
         an angel fly so low.
 Mrs. K: Forget it, short pants.
         [dramatic chords has she hands over the report]
 Bart:   Mrs. Krabappel, if I don't get at least a C average, I can't go to
         Kamp Krusty!
 Mrs. K: Have a "D"-lightful summer.  Ha ha ha.

The countdown to the 3pm bell.

 2nd Class: Five!
 Teachers:  Four! [Groundskeeper Willie spikes the punch while noone's looking]
 Otto:      [bus popping a wheelie]  Three!
 Wendell:   [at the infirmary, thermometer in mouth]  Two!
 Nurse:     Don't open your mouth.
 Milhouse:  [head being flushed in the toilet]  One!

The students burst down the doors, but before they can disappear for good,
a teacher properly concludes their education.

 Teacher: Wait a minute!  You didn't learn how World War II ended!
          [class pauses outside, waiting]
 Teacher: We won!
 Class:   Yay!  U-S-A!  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

Skinner and Willie witness a Volkswagon being toppled in the parking lot by
several 3rd graders.

 Skinner: Hmmm, I haven't seen such unfettered hurly-burly since the fall of
          Saigon.  Well William, another school year gone by.
 Willie:  And may I say, a job well done sir!
 Skinner: Well, back to work then.  Make sure to give those toilets a good
          scrubbing.  We want the old girls *sparkling* when I get back.
 Willie:  Aye sir!  [grumps] Auh, you silk-wearin' butter-cup...

On the rambunctious bus trip home, being driven by Otto (who else?).

 Otto: All right!  Three whole months of Spaghetti-O's and daytime T.V.!

Lisa and Bart sit together on the bus.  Bart has a diamond cutter's monocle
in one eye as he performs fine craftwork on his report card.

 Lisa: So, Bart, will you be joining me in the bucolic splendour of
       Kamp Krusty?
 Bart: You bet!  Check out this hand!  All aces!
 Lisa: Ha!  A-plus!?  Oh Bart, why didn't you at least forge plausible
       grades?
 Bart: oh.

Bart is seated on the couch examining his report card when a Kommercial for
Kamp Krusty appears on the TV.

 Krusty: Hi kids!  Only one week left to sign up for the bestest summer ever
    at Kamp Krusty!   [Krusty appears trick-riding a horse]
    Kamp Krusty is built on an actual Indian burial ground!
    We've got archery, wallet making, the whole megillah!  Huh ha huh ha!
    And for you fat kids, my exclusive program of diet and ridicule will
    really get results!  And the best part is, when you come to Kamp Krusty,
    *you'll spend the summer with me*!  Honest Injun!  Hoo huh huh ha huh huh!

Bart resigns to the inevitable and leaves the Den in search of his father,
who is in the front yard mowing the lawn (I thought that was the boy's
job? -cjb), a hose, and a roller-skate (which seizes the rotor).

 Bart:  Well Dad, here's my report card.  I think you'll be pleasantly
        surprised.
 Homer: [incredulously]  A+?!?  You don't think much of me, do you boy?
 Bart:  [almost proudly]  No sir!
 Homer: You know a D turns into a B so easily..  You just got greedy.

 Bart:  So I won't get to go to camp?
 Homer: Now Bart; we made this deal because I thought it would help you get
        good grades.  And you didn't.  But why should you pay for my mistake?
 Bart:  You mean I can go?
 Homer: Yeah.  I didn't want you hangin' around all summer anyway.
 Bart:  Oh, Dad!  You're the best father a boy could ever have!
 Homer: Thanks, son.  Now you've got little hands; could you reach under the
        mower and pull out that skate?

[End of Act 1.  Time 6:48]

Marge packs Bart's suitcase.

 Marge: Bart, where's your bathing suit?
 Bart:  I'm gonna swim nekkid!
 Marge: You're *what*?
 Bart:  Ah sure, there'll be a couple of uptight counsellors who won't dig
        the Bart philosophy, but I feel the human body is a thing of beauty.
        [Homer enters the room in his underthings]
 Homer: Marge, am I crazy, or is my back getting hairier?

Lisa pays Dr. Hibbert a visit.

 Lisa:    Before I go to camp, I'll need boosters for Malaria, German
          Measles, Encephalitis, Hanson's Disease--
 Hibbert: Oh now, I'm afraid what we have here is an advanced case of
          hypochondria.  [lowers his voice]  There's only one known cure,
          [playfully]  A wowwypop.  Huh heh huh ho ho..
 Lisa:    Don't patronise me, Doctor.

The family is seated at the dinner table.

 Marge: It's our last family dinner for six weeks.  But I promised myself I
        wouldn't cry.  [the others chow down in a most.. vocal way]
 Marge: [crying]  Oh, I'm going to miss this.

 Bart:  Hey!  Hands off my pickle!
 Homer: I don't see your name on it, boy.
 Bart:  No; but.. [licks the pickle]
 Homer: Oh yeah?  [dumps pickle in Bart's milk]  Check*mate*!
 Bart:  [idolatrous] Always thinking two moves ahead..

Approximately a dozen parents farewell the campers as they ready to board
the bus.

 Mr. Prince (Martin's Dad): We'll see you when you get back from
         ``Image Enhancement Camp''.
 Martin: Spare me your euphemisms.  It's fat camp for daddy's chubby
         little secret!
 Mr. P:  You promised you wouldn't make a scene.

Marge bids a difficult farewell to Bart and Lisa.

 Marge: [hugs and kisses Bart] Good-bye my special little guy.
        [Lisa's turn]  Lisa, watch out for Poison Ivy.  Remember,
        `Leaves of three, let it be'.
 Homer: `Leaves of four, eat some more!'  Heh heh heh.

The children call out from the bus window.

 Lisa: I'll write to you every day!
 Bart: Don't look in my closet.  In fact, stay out of my room altogether.
 Lisa: If the pets die, don't replace them, I'll know.

The parents watch somberly as the bus departs and disappears down the road;
but when it is *completely* out of sight, however...

 Parents: Yay!  Woo-hoo!  Don't come back!

After a treacherous journey over a collapsing bridge, the bus arrives at the
vacation camp (``KAMP KRUSTY  The Krustiest place on Earth'').  The children
are assembled in front of a stage with a TV and a tall man with black hair.
The TV speaks:

 Krusty: Hi Kids!  Welcome to Kamp Krusty!  Hoo huh hoo heh ha heh!
         I'll see you in a few weeks!  Until then, I turn things over to my
         bestest buddy in the whole wide world, [obviously dubbed]
         <Mr. Black>.  I want you to treat <Mr. Black> with the same respect
         you would give me.  Now here's <Mr. Black>.
 Mr. B:  [turns off TV]  Thank you Krusty, and welcome children.  I am Mr.
         Black, your head councillor.  For the past 15 years I was president
         of Euro-Krustyland [pause] until it blew up.  I'll take any
         questions you might have. [points to Milhouse]  You, and then, uh..
         one more.
 Milhouse: Can we call you ``Uncle Blackie''?
 Mr. B:  No. [to Bart]  Last question.
 Bart:   When do we get to see Krusty?
 Mr. B:  Uhh, he *will* be along eventually.  In the mean time our
         counsellors Dolph, Jimbo and Kearny will be happy to handle any
         problems you may have.  [a long silence. Wendell coughs]
 Jimbo:  Looks like we've got ourselves a trouble maker!

At home, Homer sneaks into the bathroom while Marge is showering.

 Homer: Hee hee hee..
 Marge: You can have the shower to yourself, Homey.  I'm finished.
 Homer: Oh no you're not!  [hops into the shower and they embrace]
 Marge: Wooo!
 Homer: Hee hee hee..

 Jimbo: Here's your cabin.  If you don't like it, T.S.
        [the condemned dwelling is already inhabited by snakes, et al]
 Lisa:  [gasp!]  This is a little more rustic than I expected.
 Bart:  I'm not worried Lis.  Know why?  Because of *this*!  The Krusty brand
        seal of approval!  You can always find it on products which meet the
        high personal standards of Krusty the Klown.

Krusty burns his finger on a clock at the product testing centre.

 Krusty: Ow!
 Guy:    Oops!  I should have warned you; that clock gets *incredibly* hot
         if you leave it plugged in.
 Krusty: That's Okay.  Uhhh, all this stuff is fine.  [looks over to a
         display cabinet of hazardous and defective objects]

Kids sit around a camp fire roasting pine cones.

 Bart:  Don't we get to roast marshmallows?
 Dolph: Shuddup and eat your pine cone.

Kearny throws another rubber tire on the campfire and douses it with petrol.
The next morning, Lisa and several other kids in their bathing costumes
stand at the edge of a pier, looking down at a ragged canoe.

 Lisa:   Uh, are your sure that's safe?
 Kearny: Well it ain't gettin' any safer.

Lisa tries to step into the canoe but the ferocious current snaps the rope
tying the canoe to the pier and smashes it to pieces in the whitewater.
At Martin's heavily fortified ``Image Enhancement Camp'' (the `Chief
Starving Bear Weight Loss Center')

 Drill Instructor: All right, you balls of pan drippings!  I want to see
    Crisco coming out of those pores!  We're not leaving until this
    Christmas *Ham* [Martin] gives me a pullup!

The campers are seated on bleachers at the auditorium to sing the camp song
as Dolph plays the guitar and Jimbo conducts.

 Campers: Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
          By the shores of Big Snake Lake.
          Though your swings are rusty,
          We know they'll never break.

 Jimbo:   Louder!   Faster!
 Campers: From your gleaming mess hall,     [a frog leaps out of Lisa's soup]
          To your hallowed baseball field,  [Fieldsman Bart falls in a hole]
          Your spic n' span infirmary,      [disgustingly old nurse lights a
          Where all our wounds are healed.   match on a kid's plaster cast]
          Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,        [Bart, Milhouse and Lisa run for
          Below Mount Avalanche.             cover from falling rocks]
          We will always love Kamp Krusty,
          A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation,
          All rights reserved!

Pause; then everyone notices a creaking noise...  The bleachers collapse.

In the mess hall.

 Lisa:  You're serving us gruel?
 Dolph: Not quite.  This is Krusty brand imitation gruel.  Nine out of ten
        orphans can't tell the difference.

In Mr. Black's cabin a lavish feast is underway for just himself and the
three counsellors.

 Jimbo: Yo!  Mr. Black!  Another brandy!
 Mr. B: Gentlemen, [toasts]  To Evil!

 Homer: Marge, since the kids left I've lost *5* pounds!
 Marge: Oh, that's wonderful.
 Homer: And look!  New hair!  [tugs at two new strands]  I'm *this* close to
        having a comb-over!  Brooowwwr...  [jumps in under the bedsheet]
 Marge: Hee hee.

In Bart and Lisa's cabin the children lie in their bunks, shivering from the
arctic conditions.

 Jimbo: Lights out, losers.
 Dolph: Yeah, we're meetin' some tail on the other side of the lake!

 Lisa: I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart.
 Bart: We're all gonna die, Lis.
 Lisa: I meant soon.
 Bart: So did I.

[Second Aussie commercial break.  Time 13:01]

At Wimbledon, Krusty enjoys a bowl of strawberries and cream as he watches
the tennis.  (He's got prime seats, too!)

 Krusty: Hmmmm... Strawberries.  Hey!  Lendl!  Choke!  Choke!  Wauuuugh!
 P.A:    Point and game-- Becker.  And will the harlequin in the third row
         please keep his voice <down>!
 Krusty: Oh, sorry folks.  Heh heh heh.  Sorry, Your Majesty.
 HRH ElizII: Hmmph.

Marge reads aloud a letter she's written for Bart and Lisa.

 Marge: Dear kids, I hope this letter finds you well.  We are doing great.
        Your father is in the best shape he's been since-- well, *ever*.
 Homer: [doing one-handed pushups]  Size!  Strength!  Agility!
 Marge: We miss you terribly.  I hope these jellybean cookies will tide you
        over until you get home.

At camp, Jimbo is eating said cookies and reading the letter.

 Kearny: Hey Simpson, tell your Mom her cookies *sucked*!

Lisa composes her own letter to be sent home.

 Lisa: Dear Mom and Dad.  I no longer fear Hell because I've been to Kamp
       Krusty.  Our nature hikes have become grim death marches.

Flashback to hike; Milhouse falls from the line.

 Milhouse: A snake bit me!
 Kearny:   Back in line, maggot!

The kids are sewing wallets as Lisa continues her voice-over.

 Lisa:  Our arts and crafts centre is, in actuality, a Dickensian work house.
 Jimbo: C'mon wimps!  These Gucci wallets have to be on the streets of Hong
        Kong by Friday!

In Bart and Lisa's dilapidated cabin.

 Lisa: Bart makes it through the days relying on his unwavering belief that
       Krusty the Klown will come through.
 Bart: [shivering, monotone intonation] Krusty is coming, Krusty is coming,
       Krusty is coming...
 Lisa: But I am far more pessimistic.  I am not sure if this letter will
       reach you as our lines of communication have been cut.  [Lisa is
       draped in a shawl during a stormy night, finds a man on horseback to
       courier her message] Now the effort of writing has made me light-
       headed, so I close by saying:  *Save us!  Save us NOW!*

Homer and Marge sit on the bed reading Lisa's letter.

 Marge: She complains now, but when we go to pick her up, she won't want
        to leave.

The cabin roof is blown away by the strong winds.  Everyone clings
desperately to a timber to stop themselves from flying away.

 Bart: Lisa, I've been thinkin' it over.  Next summer, I'm gettin' a job.

[End of Act Two.  Time 15:09]

Homer and Marge are picnicking while she enjoys a back massage..

 Marge: Homer, it's getting late; we'll miss the fireworks!
 Homer: [alluringly, as he hold Marge's shoulders] Marge, we've got all the
        fireworks we need right here..

He removes a cover from the picnic basket revealing, yes, fireworks.
Mr. Black stands before the forsaken kids at the auditorium.

 Mr. Black: Well kids, I promised you a little treat in lieu of dinner, and
       here it is.  The man that took an abandoned Mule tannery and turned
       it into a Summer Wonderland; Mr Krusty the Klown!
 Bart: [deliriously] *See*, I told you Krusty would come.. Just like I said!
       He's gonna bring us *food*, and *water*, and *smite* our enemies!

A fat, dishevelled Barney walks out dressed in a Klown suit.

 Mr. Black: Now I must tell you kids that Krusty has laryngitis and a bad
            back, so he won't be saying anything or doing anything.
 Milhouse:  [disillusioned] Krusty looks fat..
 Lisa:   He's really having trouble keeping his balance..
 Ralph:  He's still funny, but not `Ha ha' funny..
 Bart:   That's not Krusty the Klown!!  [children react in shock]
 Mr. B:  Wadda think?  I slapped a clown suit on some wino? [laughs weakly]
 Barney: Yeah Bart, I am so Crunchy the Clown!  [belches]

 Bart: All Right, that's it!  I've been scorched by Krusty before; I got a
       rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty Kalculator
       didn't have a seven or an eight, and Krusty's autobiography was self-
       serving with many glaring omissions.  But this time, he's gone too far!
       WE WANT KRUSTY! [the other children join in the chant]  WE WANT KRUSTY!
       WE WANT KRUSTY!  WE WANT KRUSTY!  WE WANT KRUSTY!  WE WANT KRUSTY!
 Barney: Yeah!  We Want Crunchy!  We Want Crunchy!

Mr. Black turns to the three counsellors and slaps Jimbo for failing to
break the kid's spirits.  The children storm the stage seeking reprisal.

 Mr. Black: To the hydrofoil!

The totem-style Krusty monument at the front gates is brought to it's
destruction.  Bart smashes the lock to the ``Image Enhancement Camp''

 Bart: My chunky brothers!  Gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom!

The fat detainees proceed directly to the kitchen.

 Martin: Oooh!  Sweet, Nourishing Gruel!

Lisa distributes the camper's withheld mail.

 Lisa:    Kowolsky!
 Kowolsky: My Brownies!
 Lisa:    Wiggum!
 Ralph:    A change of underwear!
 Lisa:    Crandal!
 Crandal:  My Insulin!

Bart hoists the black flag of `Camp Bart'.

 Lisa:  Bart, you said you where going to name it `Camp Freedom'!
 Bart:  Naaah..  This has more Zing.

[Third Aussie Commercial break.  Time: 17:22]

 HRH ElizII: I dub thee Sir--
 Retinue:    Urgent call for Mister Klown.
 Krusty:     This better be important.. [listens to message] Oy Gevalt!

Homer and Marge exercise to a television Yoga class.

 Yoga instructor:  Just let your head flop back and forward, your neck
                   is a well cooked piece of asparagus..

Curgim Maragarraba's (?sp) Yoga Party is interrupted for a special news
bulletin.  -Krisis At Kamp Krusty-

 Kent Brockman: Ladies and Gentleman, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan and
     Iraq; and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times
     worse than all of them put together.

In the background, children stand around a effigy of Krusty being burnt at
the stake, chanting ``Burn Krusty, Burn!  Burn Krusty, Burn!''.

 Kent:  A group of school-aged Spartacuses have taken this camp by force.
        Three counsellors are missing, and presumed scared.  [ear-mic
        attracts his attention] I'm being told I can have an exclusive
        interview with the ring-leader.
 Homer: [to himself] Don't be the boy, don't be the boy..

Kent enters the cabinet chamber with a cameraman.  Bart lifts his face into
the light, causing Homer's newly regenerated strains of hair to fall out and
return to his previous physique.

 Bart:  We want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp.
        [covers microphone with his hand]  Can I say `crappy' on TV?
 Kent:  Yes, on this network you can.

Krusty arrives in a helicopter.

 Reporter1: Is it true you attempted suicide when you heard the news?
 Reporter2: Are you and Princess Di `just friends'?
 Krusty:    You people make me sick!  You're vultures!  Where were you when
            I sang at Farm Aid?  Outta my way you parasites!  I said outta
            my way! [punches a TV camera]

He is granted an audience before a sceptical Bart.

 Krusty: I'm no fake!  I'm the real Krusty!
 Lisa:   Oh yeah!?  Who played your daughter in the short-lived sitcom
         `President Clown'?
 Krusty: I don't know her name; but she held up a liquor store last year.

The tribe strip Krusty of his `I got smashed at Wimbledon' T-shirt to make
certain he's not carrying a radio transmitter.

 Lisa:   It <is> the real Krusty!  Look at that pace-maker scar, the cattle
         skull birthmark, and his famous superfluous nipple..
 Krusty: Well, at least you're not has bad as customs.

Bart asks why Krusty gave his support to the Kamp.

 Bart: How could you Krusty?  [smugly] I'd never lend my name to an inferior
       product.

Krusty breaks down..

 Krusty: They drove a dump truck full of money up to my house!  I'm not made
         of stone!

 Bart:   Krusty!  This camp was a nightmare!  They fed us gruel, they forced
         us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by
         a bear!
 Krusty: [horrified] Oh My God!!
 Bart:   Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat.
 Krusty: Was it a nice hat?
 Bart:   Oh yeah.
 Krusty: [horrified] Oh My God!!

 Krusty: Well, I'm going to make it all up to you; I'm going to show you
         kids the time of your life.
         [Everyone is seated on a bus, Krusty is at the wheel]
         Get ready for two weeks at the happiest place on Earth, Tijuana!

Krusty drives the cheering kids through the gates to Mexico.

`South of the Border' is accompanied by photographs from their vacation
until the ending credits.

[End of Act three.  Duration: 20:12]

==============================================================================
> Butchered scenes
==============================================================================
Greg Martin {gam}:  Adding to the list of missing animation featuring in the
    radio and TV promotions but never used in the final airing:

    Marge: I miss the kids.
    Homer: You lie.
    Marge: Well, I feel guilty for NOT missing them.

>> Butchered/Censored in Australia

==============================================================================
> Special Credits
==============================================================================
Written by David M. Stern; Directed by Mark Kirkland.

The Flintstones' cameo appearance courtesy of the Hanna-Barbera
entertainment company.

>> Also Starring

        Pamela Hayden
        Tress MacNeille
        Maggie Roswell
        Russi Taylor

>> Special guest voice

        Marcia Wallace

==============================================================================
> Distribution notice and Acknowledgments
==============================================================================
This compilation Copyright 1992 Chris Baird; Scene Summaries Copyright 1992
Scott Simpson and Chris Baird.  Quotes from The Simpsons are the property of
20th Century FOX Film Corporation, and reproduced contributions belong to
their respective authors.  To be freely distributed through Usenet or any
other associated networks on the provision it remains unaltered and is not
used to promote a commercial service.

>> Significant contributions from...

 {cjb} - Chris Baird (chris@glencoe.apana.org.au)
  {rc} - Ron Carter (rcarter@nyx.cs.du.edu)
  {rd} - Richard Dault (rdault@descartes.waterloo.edu)
 {jrd} - John R. Donald (jdonald@us.oracle.com)
 {rsf} - Raymond S. Flournoy (flournoy@xenon.stanford.edu)
       - Half a packet of icing sugar.
 {rlg} - Raymond L. Gilbert (pi@indiana.edu)
       - Dave Hall (dave@sys6626.bison.mb.ca)
 {gam} - Gregory A. Martin (g-martin1@uiuc.edu)
  {om} - Ocie Mitchell (omitchel@jarthur.claremont.edu)
  {so} - Steve D. Ourada (sourada@iastate.edu)
 {ajr} - Alan J. Rosenthal (flaps@dgp.toronto.edu)
 {las} - Larry ? (schwim@xenon.stanford.edu)
       - Scott Simpson (simpson@bnr.ca)
  {bw} - Bucky Whaley (Bucky.Whaley@lambada.oit.unc.edu)

==============================================================================

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