From: starkid@ddsw1.MCS.COM (Lance Sanders)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps
Subject: AMC: Godzilla Speaks Update (c) 921211
Date: 13 Dec 92 21:35:42 GMT
Organization: EnviraForm


       "'Ya know, there's not a day goes by that I don't remember
        taking 'chicken fingers' to some woman...strange......
        ...maybe I should cut back on the vino..."

                   ---"Ted", staring in the mirror and talking to
                       himself while shaving; Flashback City


   Let's face it, guys: our girlfriends, wives, SO's, BH's...mistresses, 
whatever... are real-l-ly going to be "whacking our (chest) nuts" over
this "Tad is back in town!" thing for the next couple of weeks. Only one 
solution --- take the offensive. Make her chicken fingers from scratch and 
show her how much you care! 

                         CHICKEN FINGERS MACHO
                         ---------------------

(1) Rent an "Arnold Schwartzenegger"-type commando outfit. While you're 
    out, pick up a live chicken from a butcher shop, and a sledgehammer.

(2) Hide the chicken someplace (depending on where you live, this may
    prove a true test of your creative abilities).

(3) On the chosen day, give your SO a bubble bath. Take her downstairs,
    and gently cradle her in her favorite chair next to an ice bucket
    containing a bottle of Dom Perignon. Load the day's AMC episode into
    the VCR. Go into the kitchen and change; break out the chicken and
    the sledgehammer.

(4) Charge into the living room, announce "Dinner is served!", release the
    chicken and hunt it down! Come on, get that thing!! KILL IT, KILL IT,
    KILLLLLLLLLLL ITTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

(5) Exit with dignity as your SO shows both you AND the chicken the front 
    door.

                 Next week: Tad's Favorite Cookie Recipe



(c)

        ***  Godzilla Speaks Update --- Friday, December 11, 1992  ***
             ----------------------------------------------------
                             Brought to you by:
       
                 SINEAD'S PHOTOGRAPHY - NYC/PARIS/PEKIN, IL
   "If you're not satisfied, we'll tear it up and replace it on the spot."


                                 FTD Day
                                 -------
 

                                Storylines
                     (ranked by relative superiority)
                     --------------------------------

[A]     Edmund The Marick transports to Brooke's doorstep, whips out
        a pair of kneepads, and tries to get down to some serious,
        INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH begging.

[B]     The Three WeirdWindTeers (Edmund/Angelique/Dimitri) bury Helga.

[C]     Joe, Ruth, and Dr. Blue Jeans gang up on Igor chez PVH, and, in
        the name of Mona, collectively boot his tired a** out of Dodge.

[D]     Tink takes Junior back to Dix and Brian.

[E]     "Ted", in NYC, and  p.o.'ed over not being able to hook-up with
        Dimitri, threatens to return to California.



        Music Videos
         of the Week:   "In Bloom" --- Nirvana
        ------------     Great B&W video; a "really big shew" combined w/
                         archival '60's footage.

                        "Fantasy" --- Miles Davis (compilation)

                        "Joey" --- Concrete Blonde
                         Nice neo-Angst stuff.

                        [Slobbering all over myself, awaiting the US release
                         of Shakespear's Sister's next video. ...pant...pant]



Storyline [A]:
-------------

   Late night. Chez Brooke. Ding-dong! Edmund. Brooke (seething): "Well, 
well, well; if it isn't 'Mr. _Marick_'". [Not a good start; break out the 
Band-Aids]  She lets him in, and the begging begins:
 
   E: "Thanks for letting me in; I couldn't wait for morning..."
   B: "'Impulse Control' was never your best event, was it?...why don't we 
       skip 'the small talk' and get to the main issue? How are YOU??...
       ...you've done it!...and I've seen you sacrifice every human tie you 
       ever had in your LIFE!"
   E: "I never sacrificed my tie to you."
   B: "Don't make me laugh."
   E: "...I never stopped loving you or wanting you in my life.."
   B: (flinging him away) "YOU DON'T _HAVE_ A LIFE!!...you gave it away for 
       a shot at 'MarickHood', and, hey; it paid off! Does being a Marick 
       give you an inner glow?...is it joy?...and hope?...is it a 
       bottomless well of comfort to you??!"
   E: "No."
   B: "No?! No, of COURSE not! That was MY job, _wasn't_ it??!

[Medic! OTF! Pack it in, brother; you're not going to make any headway 
  _tonight_...and maybe not for the next month or two... :)]

   E: "I love you."

   Brooke hauls off and blams a humongous open-handed slap across his face!

   B: "YOU _LIAR_!!!...you never loved me! You _used_ me! I was handy to 
       you!...you woke up in the middle of the night covered with sweat, I 
       was there to soothe you back to sleep!...good 'ole Brooke at 3:00 in 
       the morning, chasing away the shadows..I was your like your own
       personal 'nightlight'...you know the problem with nightlights, 
       Edmund? People don't need them in the daylight, do they?"

[She's on a roll...and for a Pulitzer Prize winning writer, Ed ain't 
 exactly putting on a definitive display of Begging, is he? ;))]

   B: "...what are your dreams like, now, Edmund? Sweet and blissful?"
   E: "No, and they never will be unless you come back to me."

[Now THAT'S more like it! _Talk_ to her! Rub a shoulder! Look at her lips!
 Get in there and fight like a man!]

   B: "...let you back into my life??! I'd rather throw myself in front of 
       a moving train!"

   Short story? More Grade-C begging from Ed, more Grade-A daggers from 
Brooke. She kicks him out. Grovel City for the next three weeks, cadets.
And then?...
                       [Mr. Robinson accent: ON]
           Can you spell "caboose"?  I knew that you could.
                           [MRob.acc.: OFF]

   TurboLawyer stops by in the am to "proxy-beg", and to plead with her 
not to throw her relationship w/Ed away, but it doesn't have an immediate 
effect. 



Storyline [C]:
-------------

   Joe (in the company of Ruth and Steven) suggests to Dimitri that he go 
home, get some rest, and wait for the hospital to inform him when E shows 
any change in condition. Igor plays "X blocks the square", declaring he'll 
stay and see any change for himself. Joe: "What if the very sight of you 
sets her back even further??". Brrrr. 
   Assured they'll call if anything happens, Igor blows Dodge.

   Next am, Joe, Ruth (mourning the fact that it's Tad's B-day) and Dr. 
Blue Jeans receive summonses to testify on behalf of (get a grip) Adam (!) 
at the custody hearing. 



Storyline [D]:
-------------

   At the Chandler's, Junior wakes up after a nightmare, is walked 
downstairs by Winnifred, and declares flat-out to Tink and Pops that he 
wants "his mommy and Brian". Face broken. Adam tries to put up a fight, but 
Hayley ignores him, and takes the kid home to a somewhat shocked Dix and 
Jethro X (in their bathrobes after a living room couch whappa-session). 

   Next am, Brian, still at Dixie's, receives a summons for the custody 
hearing. Bri takes Jr. to school, and Dix pulls out an old pix of Tad from 
a linen drawer and mourns a bit.
   Chez Chand., Adam gives Tink heck about taking Jr. to Dix. She counters 
with an instant (and on-target) psychological analysis, charging that Pops 
is jealous of Brian, and will hurt everyone involved trying to shoot the 
boy down. 
   Adam transports out, and drops by Dix's to check on Jr.; she begs him to 
settle the custody thing out of court. 
   Brian drops by Adam's to thank Hayley.



Storyline [B]:
-------------

   Angel kicks Jack out of Weirdwind, in order to make peace with her 
memories (and bury her mother) alone, but not before "Ted" calls again, 
trying desperately to reach Dimitri [so far, Angel, Lucy, Igor's NYC 
offices and PV Hospital have fielded calls - the man wants to talk 
business, dammit! :)]. The Lique-ster suggests he "keep trying". 

[On the other end, The Tad-meister gets off some trademark barbs about Igor 
 and the WW estate, while chatting with his employer/patron (Barbara Rush,
 who BTW, would make a GREAT "Alexandra Spaulding" (GL) )]:

   "...why would they name a pile like that after a 'leather bar' on
    Sunset Blvd. ??..." (on Angel) ...that was the 'keeper of the moat';
    they're busy converting to electricity...either that, or Marick is
    running around the driveway w/ a candelabra, trying to scare the hell
    out of stranded motorists..." ]


   In the am, Ed joins Angel and Dimitri, and they say their goodbyes to 
Helga before sealing her in the mausoleum. Dimi starts "The Lord Is My 
Shepard" prayer, Ed continues ("...tho I walk through the valley of the 
shadow of death...") and Angel concludes ("...and I will dwell in the House 
of the Lord..."). 
   Personal remarks follow: D. talks about how "Helga opened her heart" to 
him in his childhood, and he thought of her as his mother from that day 
on...wishes he had had time to "pull her back into the light". He forgives 
her for the suffering she caused. 
   Ed (addressing her as "Hellcat"), states that everyone has had enough of 
revenge and vendettas, declares it's time to "break the cycle" and "take 
the high road". He forgives her as well: "Wherever you are, you're off the 
hook."  :) 
   Angel: "...when did our dreams turn into nightmares...(sobbing)...I love 
you, mama, and I always will...(they all join hands)...Goodbye, mama - be 
peaceful, at last."

   Back in the house, Angel has Lucy bring down her wedding dress (the one 
she had on when Helga wheeled her out at "The Ball"), with plans to burn 
it. Ed takes another call from "Ted", who, tired of getting the runaround 
from Dimitri, spins around [WOAH! Face Shot! 00:56:32 See: The Tad Lotto - 
Grand Prize Winner] and declares to his patroness that maybe they should 
pack it in, forget the whole thing and blow Dodge. 


CLIFFHANGER!




GEnie's Peek At The Soaps
-------------------------

***Soap Opera News 12/11/92***


The Big Payback! (or: Assault On The Good Ship Lucci)
-----------------------------------------------------

*ABC has flatly denied the rumor that Catherine Hickland will join her 
*husband Michael E. Knight on "All My Children" and was part of the deal 
*Knight struck to return to the ABC soap as Tad or is it Ted?
*
*Hickland previously appeared on the now-canceled soaps "Texas" and 
*"Capitol." Though ABC has been vociferous in their denials of this deal, 
*you can expect that the talented Hickland may appear on one of the east 
*coast soaps, simply because of her talent and ability. 


Everybody Say Goodbye To Miss Francis --- Again.
------------------------------------------------

*On "Loving," Jeremy can't stop worrying that Ceara is in danger.
*Meanwhile, Ceara arrives at the Corinth airport. 


On The Bubble
-------------

*Brian thanks Hayley for her helping bringing Adam Jr.
*to Dixie when he needed his mother. 

*Adam kisses Gloria passionately when he learns that
*she and Stuart are engaged. 

*Jack blasts Dimitri and Edmund for hurting the women in their lives.


Rankings
--------

[(c) All My Features, Inc. 1992]

 1 "The Young and the Restless"
 2 "All My Children"
 3 "As the World Turns"
 4 "General Hospital"
 5 "The Bold and the Beautiful"
 6 "One Life to Live"
 7 "Guiding Light"  [ED.: Yeah; _right_...]
 8 "Days of Our Lives"
 9 "Another World"
 10 "Santa Barbara"
 11 "Loving"

---------
Lance Sanders
starkid@ddsw1.MCS.COM     "Weren't we married in a previous life?"
GE Mail: L.Sanders6          ---One of the best pick-up lines from Tanqueray's
Vox: (312) 667-5958             2nd Annual Survey of 1,000 Bartenders
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps