From: an6814@anon.penet.fi
Subject: Mommy Track rebuttal
Organization: Anonymous contact service
X-Anonymously-To: misc.kids
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1993 18:54:10 GMT

I should not waste my time, but...


> keithg@cnmhnet.UUCP (keith garrard) writes:

In article <1993Jan19.061356.14467@fuug.fi> an6814@anon.penet.fi writes:
>>I'd like to work part-time in order to spend more time with my infant,

>OK.  I'll accept your statement not wanting to start an argument
>about choosing a career versus motherhood.  There is a viable
>alternative for you, however.  Shift work.  I know of several
>people who are doing this, and it works out very well for several
>reasons.  The woman works during the day, while the man takes care
>of the younguns.  Then when it is time for him to go to work, he
>literally meets the wife on the road and switches babies from one
>car to the other.  He goes to work, and she goes back home.  

Not only is this exhausting, it probably wouldn't work with two
professionals, who work 'first shift.'  Not too many bosses will
allow an engineer to work from, say 3-10pm regularly.  It's possible, but
probably less likely than a part time position.

>They each get to spend quality time raising their younguns.  

I'd have to differ here.  There are only 24 hours in a day; I know,
I've counted hoping there were more.  ;-)  Let's say:  8 hours for sleep
for such a busy schedule, and 9 hours (conservatively) for work and
a commute.  That leaves seven hours to do all the housework, take
care of the kids and relax.  There are many things that cannot
be done while watching a child, and having only one parent around
all the time precludes this.  (weekends, yeah, but they are way
too short).

>But let's face it,
>you chose to have the younguns, so you are going to have to sacrifice
>SOMEWHERE, whether it's taking your younguns to a daycare center, 
>or working part-time [if possible] or staying at home and raising
>the younguns and adjusting your lifestyle to a lower income.  

Income is not the point, personal satisfaction and career continuation
are (for me at least).  I pity single moms and poor couples who have
no choice but to work.  I have a luxury--I do not have to work.

Secondly, yes, we chose to have our child, but there were many things
we did not our could not forsee...good day care being ridiculously hard
to find, despite being able to pay well for it...the fact that I would
emotionally resent long separations from my child...I did not foresee 
that.  What about folks with difficult or ill kids, who demand lots
of attention?  This cannot be forseen.

True, children call for sacrifice.  My sacrifice is to work part-time
and have less money and prestige.

>Obviously, these things should have been thought about BEFORE you
>had the younguns, but you now have to live with your mistake.  
>Whatever you do, please do your co-workers a favor and choose one
>or the other.  Don't shortchange them by staying at home when the
>youngun coughs one time, or rush out in the afternoon when the
>school calls to have you pick up the youngun cause he sneezed.  
>Your coworkers deserve to have someone there that they can depend on
>to do their share.

This is flamebait, actually.  Having our child was not a mistake.  It
merely requires that we reevaluate our lives.  These things were thought
about, but people change, and parenthood has changed up.  I don't
think people should be forced to choose between work and family.  It's
unreasonable to think that a person cannot be both a good worker and
a good parent.  Your attitude on children's illness is appalling.
Oftentimes parents *don't have a choice* when a daycare or school
sends a child home due to illness.  They are trying to prevent
other children from becoming ill, and *their* parents from being
called home from work, not to mention sparing the kids' health.
It sounds as if you've got a grievance against some of your coworkers.

Working parttime is doing your share--your share is redefined to be
smaller than your coworkers', and your rewards are smaller accordingly. 
What would be truly unfair is to take on more than I can handle.  That
would be unfair to both my coworkers AND my family.
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Newsgroups: misc.kids