From: scimitar@suction.acme.gen.nz (Robert Singers)
Newsgroups: alt.recovery
Subject: Re: My sobriety date
Date: Mon, 04 Jan 93 01:16:27 +1300
Organization: Barbed Wire Cat Productions

an3203@anon.penet.fi (Andrew) writes:

> I just thought I would provide an opposing viewpoint from
> the others who posted here on sobriety dates (or clean time).
        
        [stuff deleted]
> 
> My sobriety is the result of a loving God, and continuous
> effort.  Neither of which I had at 30 days sober.  Neither of
> which I had at 1 year.  Sobriety takes time.  If the person
> with the best sobriety time was the person who woke up first
> in the morning then the guy who drinks, stays sober a day,
> drink, stays sober a day, etc. would be able to just as easily
> explain to me how to stay sober as a guy who has 25 years.

Sure.  I agree with you.  The reason I posted the question was that 
after a while I found the clean time accountancy became a bit of a trap.  

Today is the important thing.  I stopped going to meetings because I 
found that a large proportion of the group had the attitude "I'm still 
sick until I fix this one last defect" and "you don't know anything 
until you've been clean as long as we have."  This is in a small city 
with a fellowship that had been going for approx two years, and a good 
proportion of it's members had used together.  I have been back a couple 
of times recently and the group has matured with time and it seems a lot 
better.  I'm glad there is always meetings available if I need them.

I used to count my clean time and think about when I would be five years 
clean etc.  Being clean for a certain amount of time started to almost 
become an obssession.  I realised this and started to live for today, 
and just do my program as I needed it.  I went to a meeting about six 
months ago and had difficulty remembering if I had been clean two and a 
half or three and a half years.  I felt good about this because it 
showed me that dealing with problems as my Higher Power bought them to 
me, in his\her\it's time rather than my own had worked.

I have learnt a lot from modifying the twelve step program so that what 
it does works for me outside of attending fellowships.  (Hey man I'm an 
addict I always like doing things my way)  I looked at the steps and 
said what are these doing for me?  How are they helping me to get well, 
and break the chain of addiction that has plauged my family.  Just as 
they say at meetings.  It works if you work at it.  I work my own 
program everyday.  I try for personal contact with my Higher Power as 
often as possible.

I recently decided to see if I could drink without becoming addicted 
again.  I felt I had got my shit together sufficently to not need 
alcohol as a crutch.  Well I drank.  I decided it wasn't such a big deal 
after all.  I didn't fall of the wagon.  I simply decided that I liked 
not drinking.  It's more fun, and it doesn't poison my body (NB: 
drinking soft drinks all night can give you a bigger hang over than 
alcohol - my tip is orange juice and tonic water).

Oh well.  If you decide I'm a heritic you can flame me.  But I just 
thought I'd share my experience.

Robert Singers               | Nothing I say or do should be taken as
scimitar@suction.acme.gen.nz | a reflection of any form of reality or
                             | consensual hallucination.
** It's not my spelling (much) that's faulty.  It's this keyboard! **