From: fofp@castle.ed.ac.uk (M Holmes)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: Lost George
Date: 1 Oct 92 10:58:15 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Edinburgh University

A special rewrite of "Lost Johhny" for the US Election.

With apologies to Lemmy Kilminster.


Lost George
-----------

with apologies to Jill, who did this for the UK election....


Lost George
===========

You only get a single chance
The rules are very plain
The truth is well concealed to ensure
Others get the blame
And you know what really gets them
Cheering from afar
Is tired old jokes and homilies
From a faded movie star

And up there in the White House
They're trying to make us scream
By stealing from the carcass
of the old American Dream

Could you find some cocaine
Just across the street?
Lost George is in here
playing Trick Or Treat

The time has come for you to choose
You'd better get it right
Republicans with bright white teeth
Are getting real uptight
They speak of Family Values
And Jesus Christ their Lord
And worry about communists
In Uncle Sam's back yard

And in the inner cities
The sound of shots still rings
While the governor of the state
Is cutting the purse strings

Run and fetch a senator
For God's sake make it brief
The folks who own the S&L's
Are craving tax-relief

Now Bill he looks so genial
And you know he really tries
But every time he gets his say
It's obviously lies
About Jennifer and MaryJane
And how he didn't inhale
And how he went to England 
Instead of Vietnam or Jail

And here inside the voting booth
If the choice is what it looks
You might as well have just stayed home
Than voted in more crooks

Run and fetch your credit card
You'd better make it fast
The whole damn nation's deep in debt
So spend while it still lasts 


and for those who ain't Hawkwind or Motorhead fans, Lemmy's version:

Lost Johnny
===========

You only get a single chance
The rules are very plain
The truth is well concealed inside
The details of the game
You can see it coming
You can hear it from afar
It's pale and it flickers
Like a faded movie star

And up there in the castle
They're trying to make us scream
By sticking thumb tacks in her flesh
And cancelling the dream

Can you find the valium?
Can you bring it soon?
Lost Johnny's out there
Baying at the Moon

The time has come for you to choose
You'd better get it right
Berlin girls with sharp white teeth
Are waiting in the night
But you oughta really get some
It surely can't be hard
There's always trouble waiting 
When you leave your own back yard

And underneath the city
The alligators sing
About how the puppets cannot dance
Since someone cut the strings

Run and get the morphine
For God's sake make it brief
Lost Johnny's out there
Looking for relief

Now Simon looks so evil
And you know he really tries
But every time he makes a play
That vital number dies
And Sally buys her underwear
From a store where no-one goes
She makes it big in photographs
On the strength of what she shows

And here inside the waiting room
The radio still screams
And we're all taking Tuenol
To murder our young dreams

Run and fetch your credit card
Try to make it quick
Lost Johnny's out there
Trying to turn a trick
From: jqtaylor@hpdmd48.boi.hp.com (John Quill Taylor)
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 1992 20:37:21 GMT
Subject: Just Wondering...
Organization: Hewlett Packard - Boise, ID