HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: dbj@cs.washington.edu (Dave Johnson)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Can we can the suck-up bit?
Date: 1 Sep 92 18:20:21 GMT
Article-I.D.: beaver.1992Sep1.182021.318
Organization: Computer Science & Engineering, U. of Washington, Seattle

In article <1992Sep1.174241.29665@gvl.unisys.com> liz@prc.unisys.com (Liz Loquacious) writes:
>In article <BtwqIt.DKy@news.udel.edu>, zagar@chester.cms.udel.edu (Randy Zagar) writes:
>|> I don't know about the kids growing up now, but when I grew up in the South,
>|> I (and most everyone else) was taught that being complimentary and openly helpful
>|> and polite was something that everyone should be doing.
>|> 
>|> As far as I can tell, for every offended person (male or female) there's
>|> at least three that are openly appreciative, and another 5 or 6 that are shocked/surprized to find that polite behavior still exists.
>|> 
>|> The odds (as I've measured them) appear to be in my favor,
>
>I'm sure they are.  I've been on the receiving end lately of a neighbors
>generosity.  Since we talked about my not being able to swing paying for
>lawn maintenance he's taken to cutting the portion of my lawn which is 
>adjacent to a lawn which he gets paid to cut and it takes about 20 minutes
>off my lawn cutting time since he now does this.  I'm not offended at all.
>It's tough keeping up this house and yard.  I wasn't a single mom when I
>bought it and I'll be moving eventually to something more manageable
>but for now I really appreciate the help.

Aha!  No wonder the excrutiatingly sensitive James got LJBF'd!
Liz found a lawn-mowing SLUT!

(And I wasn't even around for that thread--it's just such a part
of s.s tradition)
-- 
  Dave Johnson

"You're not too smart, are you?  I like that in a man."
    --Kathleen Turner in Body Heat
From: ucda@toontown.uucp (Chris Andersen)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Exactly what I mean by "unattached"...
Date: 25 Aug 92 15:02:05 GMT
Article-I.D.: toontown.1992Aug25.150205.13112
Organization: The Department For Doing Departmental Things

gds@cs.ucla.edu (Greg Skinner) writes:
>cordelkj@ucunix.san.uc.edu (Kevin John Cordell) writes:
>>
>>I have known a few people that go to these cons (sci-fi) and told me
>>that the reason they do it to meet people, and hope that they score.
>
>I recall some people complaining about people they'd met at cons who
>tried to pick them up.  Their complaint with these people was that the
>only reason they showed up to cons was to pick people up.  I also
>recall some people complaining about other con goers who assumed if
>you showed up you were willing to engage in some physical or sexual
>activity with them (without being asked).

This reminds me of a story from my first year of going to conventions.
I was in college at the time and started attending the on campus SF
club.  One of the other members of this club was another newbie like
myself, but (amazingly) even more socially retarted then myself.
He was planning on attending his first convention (Boskone) that year
and was really excited to go after hearing all the stories of what
happens at conventions.

Needless to say he was a little bit dissapointed when things did exactly
meet his expectations.  In fact, immediately after coming back he signed
on to the local computer forum (a system similar to NetNews) and said,
and I quote, "I just got back from Boskone and I didn't get laid!"  As if
this were some serious indictment against the entire conventions scene.

The thing he didn't realize, and that I didn't realize until later, was
that the stories of things that go on at conventions ARE true (relaxed
sexual attitudes, lots of cuddling, maybe even an occaisional orgy), but
typically these things only occur between people who are either already
familiar with each other, or are friends of someone who is already familiar
with the new person in a scene.

-- 
Chris Andersen (..!uunet!sequent!toontown!chris)

"...the only thing worse than being hurt is being bored." -- Daniel Mocsny
From: jmd@bear.com (Josh Diamond)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: men in their thirties who never dated
Date: 1 Sep 92 20:06:32 GMT
	<JMD.92Aug28132039@lion.bear.com> <1rfn0p_.aahz@netcom.com>
Organization: Bear, Stearns & Co. - FAST
In-reply-to: aahz@netcom.com's message of 29 Aug 92 14:52:34 GMT


In article <1rfn0p_.aahz@netcom.com> aahz@netcom.com (Aahzmandius) writes:

   You really *haven't* been reading soc.singles for the past three years,
   have you?

I don't see a smiley on this, so I'm going to treat it as serious...

My response was not based upon anything which I may (or may not) have
read here in soc.singles.  It is, however, based upon my own
experience.  The story I used to tell was very similar to Craig's.
Fortunately someone pointed out to me how ludicrous it was.

If your complaint is that the "I have trouble asking women out"
question is an FAQ here on soc.singles, that may be -- but in my book
anyone reaching out for help deserves to get some.

Since I posted that message about how I came to be here, and why I
just recently came back, I have been trying to keep up with the
proceedings.  Unfortunately, the number of articles posted daily here
is awe-inspiring.  I have to filter soc.singles quite a lot -- if I
read everything, I'd never get any work done.  Some of us do have to
work for a living (unfortunately)...

On the other hand, if I'm way off base here, and Aahz's post is really
supposed to be a humorous comment, as opposed to serious criticism,
yeah, I hadn't realized how much I missed this mess...

					Later...

						Spidey!!!



--
 /\ \  / /\  Josh Diamond                              		   jmd@bear.com
//\\ .. //\\ AKA Spidey!!!                        ...!ctr.columbia.edu!ursa!jmd
//\((  ))/\\
/  < `' >  \          Beauty is the purgation of superfluities. -- Michelangelo
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Can we can the suck-up bit?
Keywords: encourage friendship?
Date: 1 Sep 92 19:16:06 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

intrigue@milton.u.washington.edu (Angelwing) writes:

>A few bad apples - of
>the feminist type - snarled once too often "I can do it *myself*!" and now
>there's a whole generation of men afraid to open a door for fear they're
>going to get smacked!  

Gee, I hadn't noticed. Lots of men of all ages open the door for me if they
get to it first. (Of course if I get to it first, I open it for them.) 

>Angelwing -  I do draw the line at dropping hankies.

Why? What's wrong with a good duel?

Oh, right, that's dropping *gloves*. Never mind. 

--
Stef             A cat and his owner see a relationship counselor:
stef@apple.com   "He doesn't want you to run the vacuum cleaner or 
                 go out on dates."                      --Nicole Hollander
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: Opinion/insight- becoming friends with an 'ex'
Organization: Clark University
Date: 29 AUG 92 00:18:18 GMT

Hi...  I originally posted this to alt.romance, but just discovered this group 
and, with all the activity here, thought this might be "the place".
---
I'd guess this is a newsgroup without a FAQ, so I'll post this here...  This
is a semibizarre thing going on in my life, and thought perhaps someone would
have experience or insight into the situation...

Eight years ago (in high school) I dated a young woman for a year.  First
serious relationship for each of us, etc, etc.  We broke up peacefully, but
six months later got in a HUGE fight.  Never spoke again after that.

Several years later, a current friend of mine meets someone at a party.  They
become friends instantly.  Turns out this person is the same woman I dated
eight years ago.  As soon as my name is brought up (by my current friend, when
realizing we went to the same high school), she flips out and stops talking to
her.

As it turns out, my ex is now engaged to someone that works with another
friend of mine.  Through the link of common friends, I've learned she is still
so uncomfortable with my "existance" that she doesn't want to persue a
friendship with the woman she met at the party because she and I are (very
good) friends.  Apparently, whatever happened years ago is still bugging her,
to the point she still wants to avoid me at all costs.

I find this just plain wrong.  I don't like to be at odds with anyone.  I feel
this is something "unresolved" that I would like to put to rest.  Bury the
hatchet, etc.  I'm trying to figure out a decent way of approaching the
situation, with a low risk of scaring her away (or getting our common friends
very involved).  My goal is to bring a peaceful end of seven years of (what
seems now like) a very silly fight.

I've written her a couple letters over the years, with no response.

Anyone out there been through a similar situation?  I'd be particularly
interested in the point of view of one who did NOT want to be approached by an
"ex", to get a better point of view on what she might be going through.
Anything appreciated!


/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
|  \  /                                                              \  /  |
|  /  \               From the Desk and Mind of Mitch                /  \  |
|   /\                                                                /\   |
|  \  /                   MCohen@Vax.Clarku.Edu                      \  /  |
|   \/                                                                \/   |
|            Any opinions expressed are clearly someone else's!            |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Powerful forces of nature conspire
Date: 4 Sep 92 18:55:00 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

John Fereira (johnf@Auspex.COM) wrote:
: In article <4130@moscom.UUCP> wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien) writes:
: >John Fereira (johnf@Auspex.COM) wrote:
: |: Dollie and Holmes, the anatomically correct snowpeople, were the results
: |: of a snow storm which resulted in 9 feet of new snow in three days.  
: |
: |Of course that assumes one considers Dollie and Holmes as anatomically
: |correct...  certainly not typical of the species.  'sides, I'll bet you
: |had a hard time making his droop like that... or did you wait for the
: |thaw? :-)
: 
: Droop?  He *was* standing next to Dollie, you know.

Even Dollie couldn't cure that droop.  He gave a whole new meaning to "Mr. 
Floppy".
-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: chibber@doc.helios.nd.edu (bakshi chibber)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: A Lurker's Tale
Date: 1 Sep 92 19:57:54 GMT
Organization: University of Notre Dame, Notre Dame


	I am a single guy, and since discovering the rn utility on

my Personal Iris, I have followed this news group with interest for

about 4-5 weeks. I have enjoyed reading this remarkable display of

social, intellectual and banal intercourse among its various

contributors.

	Once I felt comfortable with the environment of this group

I prepared a contribution of my own to post. There was, however, a

problem, as I had no clue on how to post. Reading through the posts,

I saw that a regular contributor, one Kiran Wagle, provided a phone

number with pm hours. I thought my best bet was to ask Kiran Wagle

how I might join in this discourse. One evening, about 2 weeks ago,

I called that #. A man answered, said yes, that was Kiran Wagle's #,

but that he was out and would be back on monday. I did not pursue

this for a while, until I got to reading Kiran Wagle's disaproval

of the likes of me (Lurker). This time there was a different phone

number on the byline. I picked up the phone and called. A woman

answered. I asked for Kiran Wagle, and she said "speaking". I 

explained my reason for calling ( how to post) and asked if it was

appropreate to call. She said yes, and was pleasent. Told me to 

type "r" and post. I told her I could'nt get out of that thing once

I did that. She told me to contact my sys. manager. I thanked her

and hung up.

	No one, least of all Kiran Wagle, owes me an explaination.

I do'nt think I did anything wrong. The phone# was listed of KW's

free will, and I called. Ten days later the # had changed, and

so apparently, had Kiran Wagle. I have no problem with different 

individuals posting under one name. I do have a problem with

dishonesty. I will wait to post until I sort out this group a

little better. Early in my reading of these posts, I recall some

discussion on whether a certain Linda or Lisa was a man. It is

difficult enough to understand and relate to individuals, without

having to sort out synthetic schizophrenic personalities. I am a

child of my times. It is not my business to judge the world around

me, just to know it better, and to share what I know, hoping that

it may be of some value to others.

	My own feeling is that this is an abberant incident, and 

that the people posting here are quite genuine. As I said in the

begining, I enjoy this news group, and will continue to follow it

(regardless of objections). You all are an interesting bunch.

Go forth & post, as your name is legion, for you are many.( Ignore

the context damit(Gr.). Joke. Its just a joke).

Auf weiderschreiben.
From: wjb@moscom.UUCP (Bill de Beaubien)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Can we can the suck-up bit?
Date: 3 Sep 92 00:01:32 GMT
Organization: Moscom Corp., Pittsford, NY
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL5

: I draw the line at picking up hankies.  I'd miss the opportunity to watch
: you bend over to pick it up.

Ah, but this way you're missing the opportunity of looking up her mini-skirt :-)

: Damn.  I knew this would happend again.  The "should a man open a door for
: a woman" thread has been ressurected.  It's my fault.  I've been a bad boy.
: I'm ready of my spanking now.

Welcome to the great mandella of soc.singles.  What goes around comes around.
And around. And around. And...  or, there are no new threads, only new
posters.

Bill
-- 
"Bless me, Father; I ate a lizard."
"Was it an abstinence day, and was it artificially prepared?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill de Beaubien / wjb@moscom.com
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: SOC.SINGLES
Date: 27 Aug 92 21:02:11 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

ta-vg11@muddnext4.cc.columbia.edu (Vikas Gupta) writes:

>What is this news group about??
[..]
>Please enlighten this lost sole( or is it soul?? (see !! totally lost))

I think the newsgroup you want is alt.bottom-feeders.

--
Stef                 "What would *you* call the creation of the universe?"
stef@apple.com       "The Horrendous Space Klablooie!"             
                                                              - Watterson
Xref: sparky soc.singles:24465 alt.romance:11190 soc.women:16166 ny.general:293 nyc.general:106 ny.wanted:411
From: jpw@lorelei.ece.drexel.edu (Joseph Wetstein)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.romance,soc.women,ny.general,nyc.general,ny.wanted
Subject: Where to go on a date
Keywords: new york, good impression, sos
Date: 4 Sep 92 16:40:47 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: Drexel University, Philadelphia PA

Help! 

Could anyone please suggest some nice places to go on a date in New York city?

Manhattan, Bklyn, Queens... Ignoring the usual touristy things, St. d'liberty,
Ellis Isl., I would like some ideas to help me make a reasonable impression.

I would appreciate any help that you can offer, and e-mail would be great.

jpw@coe.drexel.edu
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: hillnr@hamlet.uncg.edu (Norman Hill)
Subject: Re: Why do the lurkers / so furiously lurk together?
Organization: North Carolina State University
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 16:13:00 GMT

>>Reading soc.singles without posting isn't eavesdropping; 
>Then what is it?

To equate lurking with eavesdropping is absurd.  It presumes that there
is a private conversation - not a public discussion.

-- 
Norman Hill, Systems Programmer        Internet: hillnr@hamlet.uncg.edu
UNCG, Greensboro, North Carolina          Voice: (919) 334-5350

"Nothing is easier than fault-finding.  No talent, no self-denial, no brains
 are required to set up in the grumbling business."   -Robert West
From: sussman@cs.cornell.edu (Stephen H. Sussman)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Why lurkers lurk ...
Summary: lotsa losta postings...
Date: 4 Sep 92 01:25:32 GMT
Distribution: soc.singles
Organization: Cornell Univ. CS Dept, Ithaca NY 14853

Well here's a few reasons why lurkers lurk ...

1) Stubborn refusal to learn the intricacies of emacs makes quoting
   back lines from articles difficult.

2) Inability to keep up the the 200+ postings a day or the 35 
   simultaneous threads.

3) A general distaste for rn and nn combined with a CS Dept. unwilling
   to install gnus on their machines...

4) Lack of anything informative to say...

5) Fear of reprisals from other lurkers who know where I live ...

+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
|  Steve Sussman                              sussman@cs.cornell.edu |
|  Cornell University CS Dept        ssussman@sunlab.cit.cornell.edu |
|Ithaca NYNY                                si6@vax5.cit.cornell.edu |       
+-----------------------------------------------{take your pick}-----+
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: Bathsheba.Grossman@bbs.oit.unc.edu (Bathsheba Grossman)
Subject: Re: Commitment--The C-word?
Organization: Extended Bulletin Board Service
Distribution: na
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1992 21:45:06 GMT

In article <1992Aug26.131222.18582@cbfsb.cb.att.com> jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton) writes:
> Lets go get stinking drunk on tequila. I'll get in a fight. Then
>go home with the homeliest.. err .... I meant tea, a debate and
>perhaps run into a sympathetic young lady.

Light of my life, fire of my loins.  The tip of the tongue taking a trip
of three steps across the palate, to tap at three on the teeth.  james dutton.
My sin, my soul.

'Sheba (apologies to Nabokov)
--
   The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
     North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
        Technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
           internet:  bbs.oit.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: aahz@netcom.com (Aahzmandius)
Subject: Re: Where the best posts come fm & TheWomenWhoLoveThem (On Heraldoo!)
Date: Tue, 01 Sep 92 06:08:35 GMT
Organization: Bill 'n' Opus for Prez
Distribution: na

In article <Btvvon.3v9@iat.holonet.net> cocoa@iat.holonet.net (little 'e') writes:
>
>Just me,
>little 'e'  
>
>(Who is fortunate to have an SO that keeps her from spending too much time
>on the net. Yay!) :)

For some people, it's the other way 'round.
-- 
                         --- Aahz (the *other* Dan Bernstein)
                             @netcom.com 

Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6

So much Astroglide.  So little time.
Newsgroups: soc.singles
From: nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci)
Subject: Re: Can we can the suck-up bit?
Organization: AT&T
Date: Tue, 1 Sep 1992 13:51:02 GMT
Keywords: encourage friendship?

In article <14390@auspex-gw.auspex.com> johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira) writes:
>In article <1992Aug31.183938.25374@cbnewsd.cb.att.com> nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci) writes:
>
>|Come ON!  We're not here to drop our hankies, guys.  And those of us
>|who smoke can light our own cigars.  :-)
>
>Or change their own oil, or build their own house.  Geez, some people try
>to add a little levity to the group and it is turned into a "I can open
>my own door" campaign.  

No it hasn't.  Quite different.  What we have here is any time a man
compliments a woman's contribution, he's accused of sucking up.  Result?
Men will be leery of agreeing with a woman's point of view here because
they don't want someone to accuse them of doing so to win her affectations.
Isn't that rather childish?
>
>Some men actually like to do nice things for people (even if they happen
>to be female) because they get enjoyment from doing nice things for people.
>Some men do nice things for women even though they are capable of doing 
>it themselves.  

OK fine John.  Suppose you go to do something nice for a women because
it gives you a nice warm fuzzy feeling to be a nice person, and some
idiot accuses you publicly of "sucking up."  That OK with you, or don't
you think it just might get a tad bit annoying?

-Nance
-- 
Nance Colucci  *^*^*^*^*^*    o__    *^*^*^*^*  |  Work that body!
att!ihlpk!colucci            _.>/               | Stay fit for life.
                            (_) \(_)
From: dheisler@CERIS.Purdue.EDU (Dave Heisler)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Lurkers...
Date: 26 Aug 92 20:17:19 GMT
Organization: Center for Environmental and Regulatory Information Systems, Purdue University

From article <1992Aug26.192500.21837@cs.hw.ac.uk>, by neilp@cs.hw.ac.uk (Neil Postlethwaite):
> 
> Though one things that put off some lurkers I guess, many of the regulars
> or soc.singles 'old timers' (for want of a better word) seem to have their
> cliques and are always having their little digs back and forth and I guess
> people feel a little left out.
> 
  
      i'll agree this is one reason. and I'll give you
      another,

      you email someone who posts and they never reply.
      (yes, assuming it it got there) 

      CLIQUE, BANG!, GOTHCHA

d
From: stef@Apple.COM (Stef Jones)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Re: Kiran Wagle
Date: 26 Aug 92 18:13:51 GMT
Organization: Apple Computer Inc., Cupertino, CA

pbreton@asylum.UUCP (Peter Breton) writes:

>>>And you might want to ask too: Why the compulsion to sound so
>>>informed, so right and post indiscriminately?

>  To me, this sounds like most of the advice dispensed across the Net
>(you know the saying: with free advice you get what you pay for), and
>as such can be either followed or ignored. What's the big deal?

Oops - Prakash wrote that. You flamed the wrong guy. :-) (BTW, that is why
he is being flamed - because he is criticizing a writing style and attitude 
that he uses to a far greater extent than does the person he is criticizing. 
It's almost irresistible to flame someone who is acting hypocritical.)

>What if Prakash WANTS to read his posts and ALSO
>bitch about them publicly? It's his damn right to do so!!!

And it's the damn right of other folks who read the newsgroup to bitch
about the way Prakash bitches, and to give him advice if they feel like it.

--
Stef                   You've buttered your bread, now lie in it.
stef@apple.com                           --Mixed metaphor hall of fame
From: jm0i@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (JOSEPH ALOYSIUS MCVEIGH)
Newsgroups: soc.singles
Subject: Name That Diamond!
Date: 3 Sep 92 02:56:40 GMT
Organization: Lehigh University

In response to:
>diamond@acpub.duke.edu (Elizabeth Abrams) writes:
>>Actually, 'Diamond Smiles' is a pretty depressing song, and I'm not
>>nearly as depressed a person as I was back when I first selected a
>>userid... anybody got any better ideas?  Maybe I'll just have them
>>change my userid to my last name.  Boring, but simple.


ross@zooid.guild.org (Ross Ridge) writes:
>I'd say keep the name and find a better song.  Maybe Pink Floyd's
>"Shine on you Crazy Diamond", or the Beatle's "Lucy in the Sky with
>Diamonds".

Or get a singer......Neil Diamond? Or there's Michelle Pfeiffer's character in
"The Fabulous Baker Boys", Susie Diamond.

Or do like Mitsubishi....change to Diamante.
-- 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph Aloysius McVeigh | "As an advocate of reason, egoism and capitalism,
jm0i@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu  |  I seek to reach the men of the intellect - wherever
      "N.I.N.A."        |  such may still be found."                [Ayn Rand]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------