From: djw@wang.com (David Weinstein)
Subject: MORE Rules to Live By....
Organization: Wang Labs, Lowell MA, USA
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 16:18:31 GMT
Summary: Drive Your Karma, Curb Your Dogma ! :)


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Drive your karma, curb your dogma
Swami Beyondananda's Guidelines for Enlightenment


1.   Be a Fundamentalist - make sure the Fun always comes before the
     mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be
     canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are
     put in the material world is to get more material. Have a good
     laughsitive twice a  day, and that will ensure regularhilarity.

2.   Remember that each of us has been given a special gift - just for
     entering. So you are already a winner!

3.   The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is
     where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way,
     if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can change the
     channel.

4.   Life is like photography, you use the negative to develop. And, no
     matter what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you
     - He's just not ready to make a commitment.

5.   It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought 
     particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition
     called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And
     when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach
     in Swami's Absurdiveness Training class: "Don't get even, get odd."

6.   If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly
     live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That
     way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with
     each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all
     the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.

7.   I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if 
     you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find
     a fault, just don't dwell on it.

8.   There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train
     the world, and we'll never have to change it again. 

9.   If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad
     news and some good news. The bad news is - there is no key to the
     Universe. The good news is - it has been left unlocked.

10.  Finally, everything I have told you is channelled. That way, if you
     don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not
     bureaucracy. So you don't have to go through channels.
    
                                                       Steve Bhaerman
                                                   Lite Headed Productions
                                           5114 Bancones Woods Dr, #307-126


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