From: yarnot@babbage.csus.edu (Jan Yarnot)
Subject: Re: Developmental Milestones: Survey/AND gifted education
Summary: Two different subjects, I got carried away, so sue me.
Organization: Moi?
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 93 00:19:35 GMT

The books just state an average, not to worry.  Back in the dark ages of fall,
1977, I took the 6-month-old Resident Expert to England.  RE was sitting, 
chipper, ahead of the books and her siblings (as #5, she rarely does anything
first.  For a looooong time I had to remind myself that while *I* was bored with
whatever stage she was going through, for HER it was the first time!), and in
fact, by 9 months she was walking and climbing and making me crazy... the sibs 
all walked at 13-14 months, and I swear had obtained some sense in the meantime.

But to my point.  RE and I visited an old friend (#1's first teacher, in fact)
and her son was 3 months older and still needed to be propped with pillows when
he sat.  My little monster was poking at him, generally beating up on him,
and definitely was way ahead of the two of them.  

So in summer 1990 they came for a visit.  Stephen was a very competent teen,
and talked coins and stamps with my two-years-older son and the Japanese kid
we had visiting, and the RE was at camp and missed it all, but you certainly
couldn't have known what a vast difference there had been 13 years before.  It
evens out, not to worry.

Now, I sent the RE to a gifted program, but that is a different thread.  I will
add, though, that many folks try to make you feel guilty if your child is more
able academically, and what helped me was a friend at church, who pointed out
that they sent their slower child to a special school where she could get 
special help, that if the RE were retarded I would demand the best for her,
and just because the RE was different in another direction, that shouldn't
make me embarrassed or ashamed.

Oh, heck, I've jumped into it, I'll continue.  The Rapid Learner programs (which
are being gutted for lack of funding) were terrific.  I remember one day (I was
a computer volunteer) when the music teacher was there, and the kids wanted to
try different instruments with one song.  She encouraged them.  They were 
encouraged from grades 2-8 (RE is in a Catholic, all-girls (thread *3*!), school
now) to invent, work with each other, synthesize differently.  One of the good
things about being in a "different" class was that they all found something they
weren't as good at as one of their classmates.  The class the RE was in was won-
derful, though I heard that the class ahead of hers had some kids who thought
"I'm smart, I'm special, you can't make me do anything" with parents ditto.
Our group was grateful they were being challenged, and I don't think any of the
kids had a swelled head. (RE had a hard time in 4th grade.  For some reason the
teacher thought she should do her homework, and she was kept after school and
actually got a C- once.  And she learned to do her assignments.)

Both Rich and I were at the tops of our classes, and both of us lost university
scholarships through inability/lack of willpower to study.  We made sure our
kids knew this.  I've always told them (especially the RE, who makes me feel
like a hen trying to raise a duckling) that having brains is no big deal, it's
what you're given.  It's what you *do* with them that matters.

Oh, I meant to mention... one of the slogans posted near the door of the second
grade RL class was "smart kids strike sparks off each other."  They did.

Yes, every child is gifted, and I believe that.  I remember when I was tutoring
in the parochial school and the 4th grade teacher had a kid she picked on... 
well, I had seen the kid run two or three miles for his sister at a jogathon and
I mentioned it in class, what a great runner he was.  Teacher hated it, but the
kid just grew two sizes.  He still couldn't read in 4th grade, but what a 
sweetheart!  Academic ability is not the only measure of a person... but OTOH,
I do think those who have it should be encouraged, not bored.

(Wait, there should be a step down from this soapbox?)

--
---Jan Yarnot, net.grandma.-- | When you go out into the world,
			      | watch out for traffic, hold hands,
                              | and stick together.
CSUS depends on my every word.|             --Robert Fulghum    
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