From: tilden@venture.ksu.ksu.edu (Tilden-Master of Illogic)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: You Might Be Considered a RED NECK if....
Date: 10 Nov 1992 15:47:12 -0600
Organization: Kansas State University
Distribution: world
NNTP-Posting-Host: venture.ksu.ksu.edu


In article <1992Nov9.192507.11679@bsu-ucs>, 01ksdavis@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu (Rebel without a clue.) writes:
>In article <1dkejpINNcvj@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, aas7@po.CWRU.Edu (Andrew A. Spencer) writes:
>> 
>> In a previous article, mike@mote.Berkeley.EDU (Mike Friedrich) says:
>> 
>>>In article <roelle.719516754@uars_mag> roelle@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Curtis Roelle) writes:
>>>>chorley@vms.ocom.okstate.edu writes:
>>>>
>>>>>In article <92290.091108DXS8@psuvm.psu.edu>, Danette Smith <DXS8@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>>>>>>  1.  Your front porch collapses and you kill more than 6 dogs.
>>>>>>  2.  You've even used lard in BED.
>>>>>>  3.  You think potted meat on saltines is a HORS D' OEUVRE.
>>>>>>  4.  There is a stuffed possum mounted somewhere in your house.
>>>>>>  5.  You consider a six-pack & a bug zapper as quality entertainment.
>>>>>>  6.  Less than half the cars you own run.
>>>>>>  7.  Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling
>>>>>>      the state trooper to kiss off.
>>>>>>  8.  The primary color of your car is "Bondo"
>>>>>>  9.  You honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive
>>>>>>      tongue gestures.
>>>>>> 10.  Your family tree doesn't fork.
>>>>>> 11.  You've hollered "ROCK THE HOUSE, BUBBA" during a piano recital.
>>>>>> 12.  Your mother has never been involved in a fist fight at a high school
>>>>>>      sports events.
>>>>>> 13.  You've even barbecued SPAM on the grill.
>>>>>> 14.  Your neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lighting.
>>>>>> 15.  Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
>>>>>> 16.  The rear tires are twice as wide as your front ones.
>>>>>> 17.  You consider "Outdoor Life" as deep reading.
>>>>>> 18.  The diploma hanging in your den has "Trucking Institute" somewhere
>>>>>>      on it.
>>>>>> 19.  Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
>>>>>> 20.  You've even worn a tube top to a wedding.
>>>>>> 21.  You think "DOM PERIGNON" is a Mafia leader.
>>>>>> 22.  Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening
>>>>>>      on the lube rack.
>>>>>> 23.  You think a VOLVO is part of woman's anatomy.
>>>>>> 24.  You've been too drunk to FISH.
>>>>>> 25.  You've had a rag for a gas cap.
>>>>>> 26.  You've even used a Weed Eater inside.
>>>>>> 27.  You have shackles on the rear of your car.
>>>>>> 28.  Your idea of sexual foreplay is telling you female partner "GET YOUR
>>>>>>      CLOTHES OFF B*TCH".
>>>>>> 29.  You wear white socks with black pants and have a car with a rebel flag
>>>>>>      in the back.
>>>>>> 
>>>>
>>>>>30. Your brother-in-law buys a new home and invites you over to help him 
>>>>>take the wheels off
>>>>
>>>>>31. You think of a family gathering as a good place to meet babes.
>>>>
>>>>32.  Your mother-in-law is your daughter.  (think about that a minute...)
>>>
>>>33.  The sign, "Say no to crack" reminds you to pull up your pants in the
>>>     back.
>>>
>> 34. You own a tricycle with a gun rack on it.
>> 
>> 35. You've ever made love in a satellite dish.
>> 
>> 36. One of your sister's educational goals is  to graduate before becomming 
>>          pregnant.
>> 
>> 37.  You had to open the door to turn on the light after having sex.
>
> 38. Your family tree looks like a telephone pole.
>> ***************************************************************************
>> contrary to popular opinion, all rednecks are NOT married to their sisters
>> and have seen a UFO.....I'm just dating myne and couldn't swear it wasn't
>> a weather baloon!
>> ****************************************************************************
>> police officer to man in truck:
>> 
>> 'scuse me sir?..do you know why i pulled you over?
>> 
>> well..no, i don't need a cold beer, and i don't think you need another one
>> either!
>> 
>> well, sir..it's about that veeHICul yer towin'...
>> 
>> no sir, it's not illegal to tow a boat, but we do require that it be on a 
>> trailer!
>>  
>> could you ask yer friends to get out of the boat, sir?
>> 
>> hell, i don't car if the fish are bitin'!
>> you lost yer skiier a mile back!

Field sobriety test?  I won't pass. I didn't study!!!

>> *************************************************************************
>> 
>> email any response to aas7@po.cwru.edu
>> thanx
>> (no, it's not original..so what?)
>> DREW
>> -- 
>> ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
>> ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
>> ?????????????????????????????????-----whatever!
>-- 
>
> ______________________________________________________________________________
>|Kyle S. Davis