From: hira@cme.nist.gov (Ron Hira)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian
Subject: Re: Desi friends
Date: 29 Jul 92 13:38:35 GMT
Reply-To: hira@cme.nist.gov
Organization: National Institute of Standards and Technology

In article <MSANGHVI.92Jul28185204@cs.ulowell.edu>,
msanghvi@cs.ulowell.edu (Mehul Sanghvi) writes:
|>From: msanghvi@cs.ulowell.edu (Mehul Sanghvi)
|>Subject: Re: Desi friends
|>Date: 28 Jul 92 23:52:04 GMT
|>
|>To: 
|>In article <bjag-270792123108@owl.ls.nwu.edu> bjag@nwu.edu (Bharathi
Jagadeesh) writes:
|>
|>   In article <1992Jul21.140936.5716@iscsvax.uni.edu>,
|>   shangari9701@iscsvax.uni.edu wrote:
|>   > Who is not against the arranged wedding "bull shit"? Excuse me for
|>   > the profane language. I would like to get some response from
anyone. Their
|>   > likes and dislikes about the ARRANGED WEDDING..  
|>
[Materiel Deleted]
|>   Needless to say I also think people should be allowed to find their own
|>   mate, if they want to, and that by no means should parents force _their_
|>   religion culture or language on their children's choice of a mate. But if
|>   the child agrees, there's nothing wrong with arranged marriages. 
|>
|>   Bharathi Jagadeesh                 bjag@nwu.edu
|>
|>
|>yes i agree with Bharathi (spelled it correctly didn't i?? :) ). If
the man and
|>the woman involved agree then there is nothing wrong with arranged
marriages. 
|>The only situation i can think of in which i would be opposed to the
idea of an
|>arranged marriage would be one in which either party was forced into
it by the
|>respective family. i had a friend who met her future husband through her 
|>parents, they went out for a while (about 5 months) got engaged and married 
|>another 4 months later. they are both happy. sometimes arranged
marriages work
|>and sometimes they dont, just like love marriages do, but an arranged
marriage
|>has IMO a slight advantage that some commonality has already been found 
|>between the two people, while in a love marriage you have to find that.
|>
|>======================================================================
==========
|>Mehul "raja lakhan" Sanghvi    | University of Massachusets at Lowell,
CS Dept.
                                                             
Well, the problem that I see with arranged marriages is that it sometimes
precludes any chance of meeting a spouse other ways. There are plenty of 
men and women who fully expect to have arranged marriages but are at the
same time playing the dating field. The problem arises when the person 
cannot tell his or her family that he or she is dating someone. There is 
plenty of pressure within american society to have a girl/boyfriend at all 
times, and many of the people who want arranged marriages want to have it
both ways. My guess is that most of the men have a much easier time telling
parents that their dating someone than women. 

These observations are from an experience that I had with a woman who wanted
to have her cake and eat it too, and she did at my expense.

BTW, I see no problem with arranged marriages in general, (after all that's
how my folks met) but I do have some reservations with an institution when it 
becomes inflexible. 

Ron
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-indian