From: stabosz@chopin.udel.edu (Rae Stabosz)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: Re: CREMATION
Date: 5 Jan 93 08:07:35 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware
Supersedes: <Jan.5.03.07.35.1993.776@geneva.rutgers.edu>

In article <Jan.3.21.30.49.1993.28033@geneva.rutgers.edu> SECBH@cunyvm.bitnet writes:
>My confusion is based on my involvement in a very distressing
>incident involving the Roman Church and cremation:
>
<story of friend's death deleted. >

>After this was done they proceded to attempt to arrange the funeral.
>The family were Irish Catholics.  The parish priest not only refused
>to allow a funeral in the church, but until shortly before the
>beginning of the wake refused to even come to the funeral parlour
>or to agree to conduct a graveside ceremony.  He finally did
>come to the funeral parlour, said a short prayer and departed after
>very brief and aloof comments to the family.  The burial was handled
>in an equally truncated and rude manner.
>
>It was my understanding at the time from one of his sisters that the
>priest maintained that the family should have sought church permission
>prior to the cremation - I believe that it was said that this was
>granted by one's bishop.
*****

This is a very unfortunate happening and, as far as my experience goes,
is contradictory to the usual practice of the Roman Catholic Church.

Eleven years ago my two year old son died after a sudden illness.  I
had never thought about cremation before but on thinking of how I
wanted to handle his funeral, I realized that if I buried him in the
ground, my active imagination and my active dream life might easily
lead me to have horrid nightmares or waking thoughts of his body
slowly decomposing.  (My faith, of course, had no problem with his
death, but I worried about my mental state.  I had heard all kinds
of stories of mothers becoming crazed in any number of ways after
a child's death.)  To me, a cremation would be like a pure searing
of his earthly body, leaving me to think of him in his new life as
part of the Church Triumphant (as the Roman Catholic Church calls
the saints in heaven).

I had remembered that cremation was okay with the Church, as long as
there was no intention to cremate in order to deny the Resurrection.
I asked the priest who was my friend and who would be doing the
Mass, and he said it would be fine to cremate.  This is what we did.
We held a Memorial Mass for him -- I believe that's what it is called
when there is no body present.  There was absolutely no problem with
the Church.

After Mass, my father's relatives, who are Italian and from "the
old school", questioned me as to why we had had him cremated, and
it was clear that this troubled them.  Perhaps this is where your
friend's priest was coming from, but I think he did wrong.  

Two years later, sadly, a newborn son of mine died also.  We had
his body cremated too, and held another Memorial Mass.

Two years after this, my father died.  My mother told me that she
was happy that I had introduced the idea of cremation, because it
was my father's preference to be cremated but she thought she would
not have wanted to offend his family by being the first to practice
this custom.  My father lived in a different parish from mine but
again, there was no problem from the Church, no difficulties in
arranging Mass for him, no permission that we knew of from the
bishop.

I just know that as far as my experience goes, cremation is not
a problem.

Rae

[I think this discussion is at a point of diminishing returns.  --clh]