HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov (gary l. schroeder)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Date: 15 Nov 92 15:13:37 GMT
Organization: Brookhaven National Laboratory, Upton, NY 11973

In article <amymw.721677596@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu> amymw@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu (Amy Wisotsky) writes:

>A new boy/girlfriend can be found when the person is ready to find
>one.  It depends entirely on the person in question.  I know people
>that have started relationships within the same week, and others who
>are still hurting almost a year afterwards.  I think part of it
>depends on the length and intensity of the relationship that ended.

Well, I'm glad to hear that relationships are so easy to stumble upon at
Brandeis, Amy.  There's a lot of people out there that are "ready to
find one", but are still alone.  Consider the possibility that you don't
live in a college atmosphere anymore where you're surrounded by nothing
but people of your own age group that you're constantly interacting
with.  That's the great thing about college, isn't it?  It's just a big
pool of people that you can go out with on the weekend.  Well, after
that artificial world ends, your friends might find it difficult to
meet someone new within the week.

-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gary L. Schroeder  		|  
schroede@bnlux1.bnl.gov         |        It's a pomaceous life. 
Brookhaven National Laboratory  |
From: marcia@netcom.com (Marcia)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: H*ll of a situation!
Date: 16 Nov 92 23:12:34 GMT
Organization: The Dolphin Conspiracy, Phase II

In article <14NOV199215211819@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov> casey@stars.gsfc.nasa.gov (Sean Casey GSFC (301)286-4558) writes:
>Hey, let's get a consensus on this. Is this what you gals really want?

Consensus? In romance? It is to laugh...

When it comes to something as personal as finding someone to be intimate 
with, there is no consensus....people want things that are so fundamentally
different because people are so different to begin with that there cannot be
consensus. I know that what I want is not what my best friend wants which is
not what my friend from high school wants.

The good side to all of this is that there is in all probability someone who
is wants what you have. The challenge is to find them all ;-).
-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcia Bednarcyk                                  ADDRESSES: marcia@netcom.com
"Sweaty Snugglebunnies."                                     mlb@cisco.com
From: cpluis@cats.ucsc.edu (Mulatto)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: I'll Call You
Date: 24 Nov 1992 04:07:14 GMT
Organization: University of California; Santa Cruz
NNTP-Posting-Host: mingong-ws-2.ucsc.edu



hey cheryl,  when a gus tells you I'LL CALL YOU they mean it.  moat of the time.
but you see, swhen friends come over and stuff, they get preasure not
to go out with the same girl every night..... that's my case...
Every time I tell a girl that I'll call her I do.. but I sometimees feel that if 
Icalll her too often, i feel like i'm bothering her, so I never call after 
a date,  but I do call her.
cp
From: afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Won't have Sex with a Fat Guy
Date: 16 Nov 92 21:33:00 GMT
Distribution: na
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <25742@sybase.sybase.com>, mysti@sybase.com (Mysti) writes...
>In article <2NOV199211402970@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov> afdenis@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison) writes:
>>
>>Reality is a misnomer anyway. Reality is simply a perception-bubble each 
>>one of us creates, and then lives in. 
> 
>Tell that to the gravitational force of the Sun, bucko :)

There *is* no gravity .... everything sucks ! :-)

>Really, reality may be in corners here and there unknowable, and 
>divergent realities may be difficult or impossible to reconcile, but
>some things are *much* more likely to be true than others.....

I hear no *certainty* in this assertion. In many relationship scenerios, 
especially in male-female interaction, there *is* no crossover in the 
perceived realities of the two people involved. Watch an episode or two of 
`People's Court' and see how divergent descriptions of the same event can 
get. Sure, sometimes one party is lying, but often you can see the shock on 
the face of someone who *knows* that it happened the way they described it, 
but hears witnesses to the contrary. 

>It's a pain in the butt judging those shades of grey, but ya just gotta
>knuckle down and do it sometimes......

One also needs to recognize when the square peg will whittle down to a round 
peg with a diameter that *still* exceeds that of the round hole. 

-- Stephen

	Growing up is easier than you think ... one day, you just wake
	up an adult ... and mourn your loss. 
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: c60a-gx@danube.Berkeley.EDU (Jeffrey Twu)
Subject: Re: HELP: Sucks to be me!!!
Organization: University of California, at Berkeley
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1992 05:37:57 GMT

johnwu@netcom.com (John M. Wu) writes:
>In article <4f47rne00iV4E6d9cR@andrew.cmu.edu> David-Hyung Suk Kim <dk3y+@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>>my predictions were wrong.  I mean she does hang around with this one
>>guy constantly.  But according to some of her friends, he is not her
>This is a VERY BAD sign.  I had something similar happen to me and my 
>worst nightmare came true.   She did like the guy she hanged with a lot.

I have to disagree here.  If a girl simply hangs around a guy a lot, that
could possibly mean that she likes this guy a lot, but it doesn't
indicate that they're romantically involved.  I have many female friends
which I hang around a lot with (and certain ones that seem to consume a
lot of my time).  However, all of them are simply friends; I'm not
romantically interested in them, and <they> know that they're not
romantically interested in me--at least, for the moment.

>>Because I think too much of her and I try to force the relationship. 
>>Based on my past experience, I get into the relationship easier if I
>>don't force it.  
>>But I still don't know why she is trying to avoid me.  I would

Personally, I think it's always best to approach someone on an 80%
freindship basis.  Some girls are scared off by "strong" signals (either
because they're insecure with their own thoughts, or because they're
disinterested in a relationship, or because they just broke up with
someone, or because they're parents aren't allowing them to, or because
they were never involved in a relationship, or because they're lesbian,
OR because they don't like you-- YOU JUST DON'T KNOW!).

In that sense, I think it's always best to get to know the person as a
<friend> before you throw some signals.  That way, you'll know her well
enough to predict why she's doing/saying something, as opposed to being
just left to your own anxiety-laden analysis.  (Well, since it's quite
rare you'll even know EVERYTHING about an SO, you'll still be far less
anxiety-ridden than if you didn't know her at all.)

Hope this helps...

Jeff.
+-Just remember:------------------------------------------------------------+
|	Take it easy.							    |
|		...and don't forget that human touch.	   	            |
+<c60a-gx@danube.berkeley.edu>_________________________________<Jeffrey Twu>+
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: weaver@jetsun.weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)
Subject: Re: Plea
Organization: WEITEK Corporation, Sunnyvale CA
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 19:03:26 GMT

In article <22517@drutx.ATT.COM> kath@pico.dr.att.com (54626-LeeK(DR1971)210) writes:
>In article <1992Nov18.010332.12466@cs.uwp.edu>, itzenhui@cs.uwp.edu (Steve Itzenhuiser) writes:
>|> 
>|> I am only 24 years old, but believe in previous lives (though I do not
>|> know what they were) and believe that I know a lot about this world
>
>	This is your first incorrect assumption, that you know alot about this world...
>	From your spelling of the word bizarre (below, spelled bazaar - a flea market)
>	to the inconsistent stance that you know so much because of your understanding
>	of yourself vs.  the fact that you say you become absorbed into a woman.  People
>	with a strong sense of self (strong understanding of self) do not become 
>	"absorbed into" other people.  
>
I have to disagree with this last statement. Yes, people with a strong
self-image do not get "absorbed into" other people. But people with
good self-understanding do all sorts of things. Self-image and
self-understanding are two different things. Having a strong self-image
can interfere with self-understanding, because your self-image is an
idealized version of yourself, not a realistic one.

>	Maybe you should take a little time out and learn more about the world, about
>	yourself, about your insecurities, which are displayed in your arrogant and
>	pompous rattlings, before you attempt a relationship.  
>
What better way to learn about the world than to 'attempt' a relationship?  I think it 
is a bad idea to wait thinking that more experience in other areas will help you with
relationships. It will, but a faster way to learn about relationships is to have one.

Michael.
From: helie@bach.udel.edu (Ray Helie)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Does Anyone Get over Being Lonely
Date: 16 Nov 92 05:57:40 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware

You might want to get the song "Make It Happen", by Mariah Carey,
and play it until you can't stand it any more! It will definately 
help you focus on moving on (well, it helped me, anyway  8-)

As far as ever getting over being lonely:  In a way, you must, 
or else you may never be capable of creating a healthy attitute
geared towards supporting a healthy love.  Good luck!


Ray  8-)

**********************************************************************
   Ray Helie         8-)                   University Of Delaware
   [helie@bach.udel.edu]                   Newark, DE
**********************************************************************
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: bross@spartan.ac.BrockU.CA (Brian J Ross)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: Dept of Computer Science, Brock University
X-Newsreader: Tin 1.1 PL4
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 22:12:37 GMT

kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com (Kevin Brown) writes:
: Well, I haven't posted in a while (you can tell, right?  :-).  There's good
: reason for that:  my plan worked.  I now have a girlfriend, and am *quite*
: happy.  This looks to be a long-term thing, because we get along
: *incredibly* well.
: 
: You gotta love it when you hit a home run the first time at bat.  :-)
: 
: [details omitted]
: 
: -- 
: Kevin Brown					kevin@nuchat.sccsi.com

Well, after reading Kevin's postings for a number of years, this
particular post of his is one of the best things I've ever read on 
the usenet.  Kevin, way to go!  

(Kevin, you realize of course that you have now climbed to the ranks of
experienced advice givers. This is a solemn responsibility.)

-- 
Brian Ross                         "How do we arrange lures in our tackle box?
bross@sandcastle.cosc.brocku.ca     From left to right, according to size and 
                                    frequency of use." -- Anal-Retentive Chef.
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith)
Subject: Re: Being Alone?
Organization: Gagging Sloth Records
Distribution: usa
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1992 15:02:14 GMT

In article <oneil.721965040@cwis>, oneil@cwis.unomaha.edu (Sharon O'Neil) writes:
|> smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith) writes:
|> 
|> >In article <parker.721669946@uars_mag>, parker@uars_mag.jhuapl.edu (Kirsten Parker) writes:
|> 
|> >|> I too am new to this news group so hi, y'all.  I was ungraciously dumped
|> >|> by my boyfriend of three years about four months ago.  And I can tell
|> >|> you I plan on being "independent" for at least year before I'm ready
|> >|> to set myself up for rejection again.
|> 
|> >Unfortunately, there's just no way to schedule these things. In fact, it 
|> >usually seems to occur when you're explicity planning for it *not* to happen!
|> >So watch out!

|> But I understand your feelings very well: I'm a little hesitant right now
|> and I think it's because I fear rejection again.  It's a natural fear and
|> very real.  And, also, there's nothing wrong with working on independence. 
|> I think it's important to be happy with yourself first before foisting
|> oneself on another human being.  :-) :-) :-)
|> 
Absolutely...contrary to what many believe, there are actually *benefits*
to being single and unattached! :-)  Someone made a good point the other
day though...if you get *too* comfortable with the single life, and too
good at adapting to it, you can find yourself in state where you just never
date and don't really care. Which is probably something that will be regretted
a little while "down the road."

jds

***************************************************************************
                               * Health and knowledge and wealth and power,
Jeff Smith                     * Passion and poems and sex
smith@fl08-g.comm.mot.com      * I wear a smile like a leather glove,
                               * I won't shut my mouth for less.
                                                - shriekback
***************************************************************************
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14326 soc.singles:31277
From: johnf@Auspex.COM (John Fereira)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: 19 Nov 92 21:41:21 GMT
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: Auspex Systems, Inc.

In article <lgnjnfINNldj@news.bbn.com> dhardin@spcink.bbn.com (Dawn Hardin) writes:
>In article <MARTINC.92Nov18222436@hatteras.cs.unc.edu> martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin) writes:
|>
|>I would like to know more about these zerbit's though.
|
|A zerbit is when one takes a baby, pulls its undershirt up to bare its
|chubby little stomach, puts one lips onto bare stomach, and says "BLLLBPTH!"
|The baby then squeals with joy, and rips a handful or two of hair out to
|show its appreciation.
|
|I suppose you could do it to older people to, but they probably won't squeal
|and as far as I'm concerned that's the whole point.

They will if you do it right.  

-- 
+==========================================================================+
| John Fereira        | Auspex Systems | "Ask me about my vow of silence." |
| johnf@auspex.com    | Santa Clara CA |                                   |
+==========================================================================+
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: puter@orphan.nashvil.ingr.com (PuterDude)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: Intergraph
Distribution: na
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1992 16:02:39 GMT

 jjd1@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (james.j.dutton) writes:
> prauda@dol-guldur.hut.fi (Kristiina Prauda) writes:

>>Cleared anything? :-)
>
>Yea my stomach. =:)

Now it matches the head. 8=)

-- 
(Puter is a deranged individual at puter@no1home.nashvil.ingr.com)
A chase always involves two parts: first breaking contact, second the retiring
action to divorce oneself from the incident.		-- Robert A. Heinlein
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: prauda@dol-guldur.hut.fi (Kristiina Prauda)
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Organization: Helsinki University, Finland
Date: 17 Nov 92 22:00:38 GMT


Juha Taina (taina@cs.helsinki.fi) asks:

>In <13NOV92.21925419.0026@lafibm.lafayette.edu> CE42@lafibm.lafayette.edu (CE42000) writes:
>>>I too am new to this news group so hi, y'all.  I was ungraciously dumped
>>Hi! *hug* and welcome to ARC!
>
>I'd like to ask why people share *hugs* and *kisses* on the net.  What
>is the value of them?  Would you also hug and kiss a stranger in real
>life?


I wouldn't, but then again, I'm a Finn as well as you. :-) And because
of that, can't much speak for most of the people on this net. It's
just one of those cultural differences. 

But there is also a difference between people who write on the net and 
people you meet in the street: for one, the passers-by don't come to you 
to ask advice on their love lives... :-) The net is more like a group of
people who share some things - interest in the computer networks, in
computers in general, and in groups like alt.romance, interest in the
more romantic side of life. When you post, you are in a way seeking a
place in that group, and the hugs are a way for people to show you that
they welcome you and hope that you will feel comfortable and realize
that they truly wish to support you - if only by words from the other
side of the world. 

And this is even more literally true of alt.romance.chat, the group
where these posts seem to have appeared (I do not remember the 
specific posts myself, but ARC means alt.romance.chat - by someone
who has already been reading it for a while). ARC is more or less
just a group of romantically inclined friends, who send *hugs* and
*kisses* to each other all the time, because they would probably give
them to each other in real life, as well (and have really done so, 
from what I hear about the various ARC Chat meetings...). In such an
inside group, it is even more important to make new posters feel 
welcome, which is why the hugs and kisses for them, too. 

Cleared anything? :-)


Kristiina 

Xref: sparky alt.romance:14336 soc.singles:31303
From: martinc@hatteras.cs.unc.edu (Charles R. Martin)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: 20 Nov 92 00:49:09 GMT
	<1992Nov18.130850.24192@dgbt.doc.ca>
	<1992Nov18.182113.20746@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com>
Followup-To: alt.romance
Organization: UNC Department of Computer Science
In-reply-to: smith@comm.mot.com's message of 18 Nov 92 18:21:13 GMT

In article <1992Nov18.182113.20746@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> smith@comm.mot.com (Jeff Smith) writes:

   Hmmm...the last time I tried walking up to someone, rubbing up against
   their leg and putting my nose in their crotch, I getsmacked. Maybe that
   was the wrong approach?

Nah, some people just don't like dogs....
--
		Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/martinc@cs.unc.edu
     Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
	    3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
     "Oh God, please help me be civil in tongue, pure in thought, and able
      to resist the temptation to laugh uncontrollably.  Amen." -- Rob T
Xref: sparky alt.romance:14254 soc.singles:31108
From: tipping@phys.ksu.edu (Tracy N. Tipping)
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
Subject: Re: net.hugs?
Date: 18 Nov 92 16:27:43 GMT
Article-I.D.: moe.1edqtvINNjq
Organization: Department of Physics, Kansas State University, Manhattan KS, USA
NNTP-Posting-Host: bose.phys.ksu.edu

In article <Bxvxyx.Mqq@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU> stuarta@syd.dms.CSIRO.AU (Stuart Andrews) writes:
>
>Try <kiss>, <smooch>, <zerbit> (don't ask!), <sigh>, <laugh>, <confused smile>
                       ^^^^^^^^

I've had zerbits too.  They're great with milk.

Tracy

--
=====================================================================
tipping@phys.ksu.edu              |			"I got half."
tipping@ksuvm.bitnet		  |			 -Marc Troike
=====================================================================
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles
From: thurlow@convex.com (Robert Thurlow)
Subject: Re: net.hugs? (apology)
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1992 02:04:29 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.

In <5=31hhf@rpi.edu> petitc@nuge104.its.rpi.edu (Christopher Jon Petit) writes:

>  Ok.  I am very sorry that I am an annoying little pain in the ass with no
>social life and very few friends.  Also, I am sorry that I accused people and
>flamed without reason.  Yes, I get no caring from people, so I have to take
>whatever I get.

If you say so.

>  I HAVE NO ****ING LIFE!! OK!! YOU HAPPY?!?

I'd be happier if you were a rational human being who didn't go ballistic
over such a mild article.  You know, one who could be trusted to not kill
himself if someone tells him his fly is undone.

>  You are much better than I---I am a wuss who should be shot, if murder were
>legal.

You're not worth the bullet, especially if you're going to do this to
yourself when people challenge something you say.  You'll self-destruct
in no time the minute you hit the real world.

Rob T
--
Rob Thurlow, thurlow@convex.com
"I get so tickled debunking bad personal philosophy." - Milquetoast
Newsgroups: alt.romance
From: mcohen@vax.clarku.edu
Subject: RE: fliriting and not knowing it (was: Re: Question For Guys)
Organization: Clark University
Date: 20 NOV 92 21:19:38 GMT

In a previous article, dswt@bnr.co.uk (Stewart Tansley) wrote:
>In article <20NOV92.00324238@vax.clarku.edu> mcohen@vax.clarku.edu writes:
>>In a previous article, ph2sct@sdcc14.ucsd.edu (Dzu Nguyen) wrote:
>>>well folks, since we are on this topic...what are some common
>>>flirting actions that some of you use? i'm curious
>>> 
>> [Stuff deleted]
>>Smile a lot.  And what I've found very important - touch, touch, touch.  
>                                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>Do *not* do this in the UK or else we will kill you. Yeurgh. :-)
> 
Oh, how depressing!  You people take romance lessons from Chuck & Die? :-)


/--------------------------------------------------------------------------\
| > <    Mitch Cohen * Multimedia consultant * MCohen@vax.clarku.edu       |
|  ^          Any opinions expressed are clearly not my own.               |
|  v     I'll come up with something intelligent to put here later.        |
\__________________________________________________________________________/
From: afdenis@lims01.lerc.nasa.gov (Stephen Dennison)
Newsgroups: alt.romance
Subject: Re: Getting Married: Grounds for Insanity Plea?
Date: 17 Nov 92 18:27:00 GMT
Organization: Ancient Souls Inc.
News-Software: VAX/VMS VNEWS 1.41

In article <1992Nov17.023513.7617@informix.com>, bradl@neptune.informix.com (Brad Levy) writes...
>Original poster:
>>>it's the way he leaves rings on the coffee table with his beer cans. 
> 
>Cheryl:
>>
>>So, give him a coaster.  :)
>>
>>
>>IMHO, people expect too much.  A good marriage is a truckload of work and
>>effort and never a day off.  But if you're in love, you'll do it gladly.
>>
>>Cheryl
> 
> 
>I think Cheryl is right.  Its an attitude.  If you look on every nit-pick as
>an excuse to dislike your spouse, or move apart from your spouse, the
>marriage will end up in the dumps.  But if both people love each other,
>and know how to communicate with each other, they look for solutions (sometimes
>as simple as a coaster :-) ) to the problems, and with each "problems solved
>or overcome" grow closer, instead of apart.  Its not easy, but can be very
>rewarding.
> 
>-Brad

Far be it from me to pee in the punch, but while *both* of the above 
posters are correct... (a marriage *does* take constant attention, and nit-
picks *should* not be grounds for divorce) ... there are *some* differences 
that cannot be resolved by `a little more work' or `a little more love'. 
Love does *not* conquer all... much... perhaps even *most*, but not all.

Just a small dose of reality, at least from within *my* bubble. 

-- Stephen

	Growing up is easier than you think ... one day, you just wake
	up an adult ... and mourn your loss. 
Newsgroups: alt.romance,soc.singles