From: donb@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin)
Subject: Dac Dac, the boring fruit, the more you read, the more you boot
Organization: TOSHIBA America MRI, South San Francisco, CA
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 93 00:22:11 GMT

A confused Dac writes:
>Followup-To: alt.i.have.been.buttfucked

I know son and I'm sorry.  If you stick more to the sidelines maybe you
won't get hurt so much.  Now pass me the Mazola, I feel that urge comin'
again.  What sound does a pig make, Dacky?

>> I left you hanging.  Get it?  HANGING?!

>No doubt indentation is a painful facet of life for the
>trepanised likes of Donny Boy Baldwin.

Great, I'm sure a spelling flame is on the way next.

>> >Do you have an excess-semen recepticle next to your newsreading

>> Yes, I do have an excess-semen receptacle in my office, my testosterone-
>> challenged friend.  You see, unlike you, I produce prodigous quantities
>> of ManlySecretions; these secretions have to be relieved in some fashion

>Without wanting to be WantonlySexist, a relationship is an
>excellent way of relieving those pressures, little hormone addled
>Don.

I think you've been reading a bit too much Doctor Ruth, Dac.  I'm already
in a relationship, Dac m' boy and a most excellent one at that.  It was the
EXCESS semen I was talking about venting into a cup.

>Peeve:  Not being able to manage it more than three times in an
> 	average day.

Well I'm certainly impressed.  Isn't it hard for you to sit down, though?

>> and since there are no wooly mammals around here, I collect them in a
>> cup.

>Woolly mammals?  If you're collecting them in cups, then they're
>called _gerbils_, Don.  Perhaps you were mistaking them for
>Mammoths.  They're generally called 'Sir'.

Uh, yeah.  I'm sure there's a point hidden in their somewhere but I wasn't
able to find it.  Since the bestial love receptacles I've been using haven't
exploded, they probably aren't gerbils.

>> I mean, you don't actually think we _read_ that crap do you,
>> biting our fingernails as we worry that we might've slipped from
>> a 75% originality ratio to 69%?

>Oh, really Don, I don't give a fuck. I post statistics because it
>pleases me to do so. I do it because I want to. If you think
>they're just a vast waste of space, then killfile them. Or me.

No, seriously, why don't you try a little experiment:  stop posting the
statistics and see if anyone complains.  I'm curious...

>*I* don't have anything resting upon acceptance within a froup,
>fuckface.  If I wanted sycophantic toadies, I'd write cloying
>saccharine laced missives to alt.callahans, and bask in the glory
>of weak minded fools, living in someone elses adventure
>playgound.

You know Dac, we've been kicking over the idea that maybe you and, say,
Nolan should be encouraged to post to a different group.  Call it something
like alt.peeves.farm-league.  Just a thought...

>> Feh.  At least here in Amurrica we're ALLOWED to own guns and use them for
>> self defense.  

>Feh indeed.  In Australia you're allowed to own guns.  There's
>just these laws against using them to shoot people.  Apparently
>you yanks are so trigger happy that there are 20,000+ deaths a
>year by shooting.  In Oz the figure is less than 100 people
>killed per year.  Do the calculations for killings/year.
>20,000/250,000,000 = .008%.  In Oz the ratio is 100/20,000,000 or
>about .00045%

>A couple of orders of magnitude less of a problem.

Bogus analysis, little man.  Hell, the US is a horribly violent place but
to say that guns are responsible for that is simplistic and absurd.  Our
rate of murder by garden hose is probably higher than your overall murder
rate.  Also, half of those 20,000 people you listed were suicides, fools
who failed Father Darwin's little test and frankly they don't count.  Also
a gun is about the only weapon that an elderly person or a woman can use
to defend themselves successfully against an adult male.  Also, the parts
of the country that have traditionally had the highest murder rates have
also traditionally had the harshest gun control laws.  Out in Iowa, anyone
who has no criminal/psychiatric record (and is of age) can buy a gun and
most do; the morder rate is very, very low.  NY City and Washington DC
make it almost impossible for ordinary people to get guns and their crime
rates are through the roof.

Ask Dianne Feinstein how she feels about guns and she'll say that no one
should have them...despite the fact that she's had a concealed handgun
permit since about 1980.

Feh.  Fools and hypocrites abound...

     don