HDTenEightyP/NetNews huggingface dataset:
From: behnke@FNALF.FNAL.GOV
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: >>>>>> Sex After Marriage
Date: 29 Dec 92 15:42:09 GMT
Reply-To: behnke@FNALF.FNAL.GOV
Organization: Fermi National Accelerator Lab
NNTP-Posting-Host: fnalf.fnal.gov

In article <ssimmons.725638448@convex.convex.com>, ssimmons@convex.com (Steve Simmons) writes:

> her physical ability to have sex (it may hurt her)

 Ask your wife if this is the question.  If it does hurt during sex, have her go
to the doctor for a Human Pappiloma Virus (HPV) screening.

 I say this since my wife and I had the same problem.  *HOWEVER*, IMHO, go to 2
different doctors and compare results.  My wifes test supposedly came back
OK one year (or so we were informed via postcard from dr.), but the next year
the dr. wanted to do a followup to the previous years "abnormal" reading.  She
immediately consulted another dr. (a female this time) and was informed that
she had the beginnings of cervical cancer.  Luckily, it was caught in time, but
having kids got real tough due to the incompetence of the cervix.

 To let everybody know, my wife is pregnant now (due 4-12-93).

Mike "I don't care what it is as long as it's healthy" Behnke
                                                                
My opinions are my own, and MOST of them don't mean a thing !

mb
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Sun, 27 Dec 1992 23:53:08 EST
From: K. Roper <ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: help! worried about friends...

It sounds to me like your friends' insistance that everything
  with them is *right* is really a statement about anything
  opposing them being *wrong*.  That is, they feel this stunning
  need to -believe- in this relationship to escape something else
  (current family life, whatever), and are blinded to suggestions
  that might allow reality, in all its ugliness, to intrude.

Everyone needs a dream, but ... uhhh ... this ain't it.  This relationship
  sounds like an elaborate form of escapism, IMHO.  It's a nice place
  to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there (I did; I moved).

Suggestions?  Sorry, but they're probably not going to listen.  The
  fantasy is too attractive and too compelling.  The only that will
  break the spell is reality, and that takes time.

When the couple is that age, I view a union as a "practice marriage."
  Some folks aren't going to do it for good reasons until the second
  time (dare I say third?), even if they just renew their vows.


Kim
From: mbreen@sdacs.ucsd.edu (Michael Breen)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Showers with SOs
Date: 30 Dec 1992 23:43:02 GMT
Organization: University of California, San Diego
NNTP-Posting-Host: sdacs.ucsd.edu

My SO and I rarely shower together, as she's a night shower person
and I a morning shower person.

When we do (usually on weekends) it does seem to provide an opportunity
for some  "growing closer".

One of our plans for our "dream house" is a large bath with two shower heads,
so we can enjoy the "growing closer" without the jockeying for position
that occurs in our too-tiny single-shower-head bath.

Michael Breen
singing and philosophizing
("everything's better when wet")
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: how to get to root of strange behavior
From: <JPWJJ@CUNYVM.BITNET>
Date: Saturday, 26 Dec 1992 23:15:01 EST
Organization: City University of New York/ University Computer Center

LISTEN, RAW. DO YOURSELF A BIG FAVOR AND DUMP THIS GUY. NOT ONLY DOESN'T HE LOV
E YOU BUT JUDGING BY WHAT YOU WRITE HE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN LIKE YOU. DON'T LE
T HIM TREAT YOU LIKE THAT. WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, WHY DON'T YOU READ "THE BEAUTY M
YTH" AND THEN CHARLES BUKOWSKI'S "HAM ON RYE." AFTER THAT, DROP ME AN E-MAIL AN
D WE'LL SHOOT THE BREEZE.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: ssimmons@convex.com (Steve Simmons)
Subject: >>>>>> Sex After Marriage
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1992 14:14:08 GMT
Organization: Engineering, CONVEX Computer Corp., Richardson, Tx., USA
X-Disclaimer: This message was written by a user at CONVEX Computer
              Corp. The opinions expressed are those of the user and
              not necessarily those of CONVEX.


Yes, you do have a problem and both of you should seek counseling from
someone who is closer to both of you.  The counselor does not have to be
professional but it should be someone whom you both can trust.

The problem is not sex.  If neither partner wanted sex, then there would 
not be any issue if there was still love between the two of you. 
The problem is simply that one partner is not meeting the other's partner's
expectations.  Sex is a partner's obligation during marriage (both husband
and wife).  Once every few months is way below the average for people in 
their thirties.  

The reason can be your sexual attractiveness, her physical ability to have
sex (it may hurt her), or her sexual appetite.  The reason must be identified. 
Otherwise, you both will build resentment to each other. 

Personally, I think that your wife is just drained and stressed out 
emotionally.  She has just been moving things off her platter, like her 
job.  When did you both go on a vacation by yourselves???   Does she have
any outside interests that are for fun???   Maybe, a part time job outside
of the house will build diversity and interest into her life.... 

Thank you. 


						Steve Simmons
From: fsquared@eff.org (Fawn Fitter)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: commuter marriages?
Summary: need help w/ article on commuter marriages
Keywords: commuter, marriage, LDR
Date: 29 Dec 92 19:22:33 GMT
Distribution: ne
Organization: The Electronic Frontier Foundation
Originator: fsquared@eff.org

I'm working on an article on commuter marriages for the Boston Herald's 
career section.  The piece is due Jan. 11, so if you plan to respond, please
do so BY E-MAIL no later than Jan. 5, thanks!

Basically, I'm looking for married couples who are separated because they
work in different cities (one of which must be in the Metro Boston area).
How do you make your marriage work, or do you?  What are some of the issues
you have to deal with?  How do you plan to resolve the separation, or are
you perfectly happy with it?  If you have been in a commuter marriage in the
past but aren't any longer, how did you deal with it -- compromise, job-
hunting, divorce?  

Again, the article is due 1/11 and will run on 1/18.
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: jsmt@troi.cc.rochester.edu (Julia Smith)
Subject: Re: clarification (was Re: how to get to root of strange behavior)
Organization: University of Rochester (Rochester, NY)
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 92 19:29:25 GMT

In article <16DEC199215303639@vax2.concordia.ca> rwarren@vax2.concordia.ca
(Rosemary from Montreal) writes:
>>DUMP HIM.
>yep, i've heard that from just about everyone.  one person started off 
>saying "don't dump him" but then seemed to change their mind partway 
>through.  i guess when i first met sunday he reminded me of me with my last 
>sweetheart:  so starry-eyed innocent, wanting to spend as much time 
>possible with their beloved, wanting to hear their voice and see their face 
>constantly.  some of the things he's said to me i've said, word for word, to 
>other people!
 
Ok, here is some practical advice that doesn't have anything to do with
whether or not to dump him:
  
1)  Set yourself a deadline, an EARLIEST POSSIBLE date that you will call him.
   DO NOT CALL HIM UNTIL THAT DAY.  Every time you start thinking about 
   calling him, and you will, look at the calendar and put yourself off.
 
2)  Find something to do which you enjoy.  Even if it is bad for you, do it
   anyway.  This has to be something you would probably never do for yourself,
   but would love for someone else to do for you - give yourself a special
   dinner, treat yourself to a sappy movie that no one but you would really
   get into, do a luxurious bubble bath - something extravagent.  Plan out
   several of these, and put one into effect EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU THINK YOU
   CAN'T KEEP FROM CALLING HIM.  Make these rewards for not calling.
  
3)  Start looking for something to do that will get you out and doing things
   with people.  Try volunteering at a local theater group.  Take a juggling
   class or a cooking class.  Do something where you have to talk to people.
   You can get into this slowly, but do at least ONE NEW THING every week.
  
4)  On the day that you decided you would call him, sit down calmly and make
   a list of everything you want to tell him.  List the good things and the
   bad things.  List out everything that is making you unhappy.  List everything
   you wish would be better.  List everything you want in a relationship.
   Now - do you want to call him or do you want to put it off another week?
   Each time you put it off, you get stronger.  Each time you call him, you 
   make yourself the victim.  

At the point when you start treating yourself
so well that you don't need to be a victim anymore, you will be able to
do what you need to do to make permanent changes in your life.
In the meantime, you need to practice this, because it doesn't come
easy after all the years you have had of treating yourself badly.  Take
it one day at a time, and be patient with yourself.  Things really do get
better!!!
  
--j
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Mother In Laws and Wives
From: miuvdd@lure.latrobe.edu.au
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1992 23:40:04 GMT
Organization: VAX Cluster, Computer Centre, La Trobe University 

In article <1gno0gINN40u@hp-col.col.hp.com>, lpj@col.hp.com (Laura Johnson) writes:
> mperron@abacus.bates.edu (Michael Perron) writes:
>> 
>> 	Is this a dysfunctional type problem or what I'm sure there are some
>> psych people out there?
>> 
> 
> How the heck would we know what kind of problem it is? All you've said
> is that these two people fight. What do they fight about? It's not the 
> case that all women fight with their mothers-in-law, and certainly the
> ones that do are not always fighting about the same things. Let's address
> "why are these two people fighting" rather than some hopelessly general
> sociological issue.
> 

Hear, Hear!  I've have been married almost atwo years now and have established
a good working relationship with my moather-in-law. Any relationship is give
and
take.  I agree toatlly with Laura'a comment above.


Morgana
Organization: Queen's University at Kingston
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 14:48:44 EST
From: K. Roper <ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Showers with SOs
 <92365.220527ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>

In article <92365.220527ROPERK@QUCDN.QueensU.CA>, I said:
>
> Not us.  He sets the water entirely TOO COLD for my liking :>
>

  For the benefit  of all, but mostly the turkey who sent me an
   e-mail directive to compromise with my sweetie, here is J.'s
   response:

"Compromise?!  She's too cold, I'm too hot.  Her parts are insensately
numb, mine are wondering where the nearest glacier is.  Some recipe for
shower romance."

Me again:
  We're happy enough to shower separately and cuddle (et al) afterward.
   We do what works for us.  Compromise?  Why?  There's nothing wrong
   (except with the twit who sent us a suggestion so stupid that it's
   insulting).

Kim
Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: jgacker@news.gsfc.nasa.gov (James G. Acker)
Subject: Re: Showering with spouse/SO?
Organization: Goddard Space Flight Center
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.1 PL6]
Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1992 22:02:36 GMT

anon.208@pax.tpa.com.au wrote:

: I have a question to put to couples, married and otherwise:
: 
: How many of you shower with your spouse/SO?  How often?
: 
: My wife and I shower together regulary, and we're just curious how
: many other couples out there do so.  We did so during our engagement,
: and are continuing on!

	Is it an enjoyable practice, or do you do it just to
save water?  (I'm half-kidding, and I'm getting married in March with
no prior mutual living arrangements, so I just wonder).

	Also, one of my fellow graduate students came to school one
day with a limp.  Seemed he'd bruised his hip when he fell in the
shower.  Another fellow and insightful female grad student asked
"Not enough room for two?"
	"Uh, yeah," he replied.

	Jim Acker
	jgacker@neptune.gsfc.nasa.gov

	Why should I be anonymous?


Newsgroups: soc.couples
From: allen@tessi.com (Allen Warren)
Subject: Re: Can't Let Go of Her
Organization: Test Systems Strategies, Inc., Beaverton, Oregon
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 23:29:09 GMT

Teal <teal@ucsu.colorado.edu> writes:

>	What do I do? I can't let go of her.  She was my first girlfriend and I
>started dating her at 25 but now she has moved on.  I can't accept the
>fact that it's over and I am ruining what little we have left.  Now she
>is seeing someone else and I am afraid of her pursuing intimacies with
>him.  This is causing a severe depression.  What do I do?? I still love
>her very deeply but her feelings for me are fading away. How do I let go?

You wake up one morning and say to yourself, "Hey self, why are you letting
one person control your life?  You control your own life, so let go and realize
that she's gone and NOTHING YOU DO will make her come back to you."  At least
that's what I did.  I *finally* realized that enough is enough.  She didn't
want me anymore and I was letting myself go down the emotional tubes because
I couldn't take no for an answer just because I loved this one person so
damn much.  When I realized that I needed to control my own life and look
out for myself, the healing began.

To this day, I'll always love this person.  She holds a special place in my
heart, but I think of myself and my own survival.  It's very hard to come to
grips with losing someone whom you love so dearly yet this someone doesn't
love you as much.  Just remember that you are your own person and should
never let another take you down.

allen
From: anon.208@pax.tpa.com.au
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Showering with spouse/SO?
Date: 31 Dec 1992 07:30:07 +1030
Organization: PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) - Anonymous Service
Reply-To: anon.208@pax.tpa.com.au
NNTP-Posting-Host: flash.pax.tpa.com.au



I have a question to put to couples, married and otherwise:

How many of you shower with your spouse/SO?  How often?

My wife and I shower together regulary, and we're just curious how
many other couples out there do so.  We did so during our engagement,
and are continuing on!

Apologies for the anonymous posting...my wife insisted.
And many thanks to pax.tpa.com.au for making it possible!


--
** Anonymity & Privacy by PAX - Public Access Unix (Adelaide,South Australia) **

anon.admin@pax.tpa.com.au (a human)    anon.info@pax.tpa.com.au   (for help)
anon.ping@pax.tpa.com.au  (get alias)  anon.key@pax.tpa.com.au    (register key)
anon.###@pax.tpa.com.au   (reply)      anon.post.g@pax.tpa.com.au (post to g)
anon.list@pax.tpa.com.au  (to mailing list)
anon.subscribe@pax.tpa.com.au          anon.unsubscribe@pax.tpa.com.au

For dialup Unix access phone +61-8-235-9010 - online registration.
From: ah190@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Stuart Pearl)
Newsgroups: soc.history
Subject: Need Tuskeegee Squadron Information
Date: 25 Dec 1992 19:22:34 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc10.ins.cwru.edu


I need some information on the Tuskeegee (sp?) Squadron - I
believe it was the first all black, Air Force squadron formed
during WWII.

Specifically:  When was it formed, how many members did it
have, exactly what model of plane(s) did they fly, where were
they based and what sort of missions did they fly?  Any
bibliographic references would also be appreciated.  Thanks
in advance.

-stu
-- 
                   ---===<<< Stuart Pearl >>>===---
                           Cleveland, Ohio
                      ah190@cleveland.freenet.edu
                         --------------------
Newsgroups: soc.history
From: ecl@cbnewsj.cb.att.com (Evelyn C. Leeper)
Subject: Maryland Religious Freedom Act of 1649
Organization: AT&T
Distribution: usa
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 14:08:53 GMT

Does anyone know where I can get a copy of the Maryland Religious
Freedom Act of 1649 (or some name extremely similar to that)?  The FTP
sites that I know of that store documents didn't have it when I last
checked.  On-line would be great, but I'll even settle for a book or
other source (assuming I can find it, of course).

(I would call the State of Maryland but I have no idea what office
to ask for from directory assistance.  Is there a state library?
A state archives?)

Evelyn C. Leeper  |  +1 908 957 2070  |  att!mtgzy!ecl or  ecl@mtgzy.att.com
--
"God does not play dice with the universe."  --Albert Einstein
"Albert, stop telling God what to do."  --Niels Bohr
From: ca855@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Robert Allen Coody)
Newsgroups: soc.history
Subject: The Spanish Vara
Date: 29 Dec 1992 23:21:48 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: hela.ins.cwru.edu


[C.............................
-- 
Robert A. Coody (Juan de los Caballeros)           +
Flagstaff, AZ                                +  +  +  +  +
               "Quien Vivira, Vera"                +
Newsgroups: soc.history
From: briand@anasazi.com (Brian Douglass)
Subject: Re: jefferson question
Organization: Anasazi Inc Phx Az USA
Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1992 18:41:26 GMT

In article <1992Dec31.032239.3040@Princeton.EDU> glhewitt@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Gary Livingston Hewitt) writes:
>This is getting tedious.  Take it to a higher level or take it to email.
>This comment is directed to Mr. Douglass, who is doing an excellent
>impression of a fool.  Please note followups.

Let's see, I'm a fool for defending myself after being accused of
deliberately misleading this group by having originally posted falsely
ordered excerpts.  Excuse me, but that is something MUTLA and the rest of
those signatures in my kill file do with scholarly works, not me.  Will you
be so quick to call David Davidian and others fools when they challenge the 
MUTLA crowd for editorial bias?

Let's see, I'm a fool for exposing that rath never read the article by
Douglas Wilson in question, yet felt qualified to reorder the excerpts to
substantiate the position that the Brodie thesis of a long term, happy
affair between Jefferson and Hemings is still plausible.

Let's see, I'm a fool for demanding (got it right this time) that rath
provide references to substantiate his/her belief that the Brodie thesis is 
alive and well, and not relegated to the ash heap of history.

Let's see, I'm a fool for asking (heh, demanding is more like it) that rath
submit his/her own portfolio as to why his/her opinion should be taken at
face value since no refences have been provided.

Let's see, I'm a fool for publically defending my honor when it is
publically insulted.  Instead Mr. Hewitt thinks I should skulk away to e-mail 
and leave rath's final words as lasting impressions before this esteemed
forum.  Sorry, but I don't let my candidates do that when they run for office, 
I surely won't do it here.

If all this makes me a fool, then I would hate to see what an idiot is.

And while Mr. Hewitt may wish to see this thread on a higher level, I would
remind him that is exactly how it started off.  It was a simple post of
excerpts fully referenced to the source periodical and without any
editorial comment by myself.  And yet I am the one admonished and called fool 
by a so much more thoughtful person than I, while nothing is said about
raths actions after he/she

	1.	commented on
	2.	reordered expressly to change intent
	3.	and questioned the entire thesis without evidence

of an article he/she never read.  If "lowering" this thread means calling
for rath to read an article before editorializing it, substantiating with
references his/her own/Brodie theory, or at minimal providing evidence of
his/her scholarly position, I think it a lowering we could use more of.

>Have a happy New Year!

Cheers!

>Gary
>-- 
>  ++====+========+==========+=======+===++
>  ||    |    Gary| L. Hewitt|       |   ||  HELP!  I've been imprisoned
>  || glh|ewitt@ph|oenix.prin|ceton.e|du ||  by my .signature!  HELP!
>  ++====+========+==========+=======+===++
Newsgroups: soc.history,sci.archaeology
From: wrp@gvls1.gvl.unisys.com (Bill Pringle)
Subject: Re: The Taj Mahal is a Hindu Temple
Keywords: Taj Mahal, Hindu, temple
Organization: Unisys Defense Systems, Great Valley Labs, Paoli, Pa
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1993 02:55:21 GMT

In article <1993Jan3.191744.19846@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> prs9k@brain.med.virginia.edu (Phil Scarr) writes:
>
>What a silly, silly, silly waste of our time.  It's interesting to see
>that Indian historians have to contend with revisionists too.  Gee, this
>couldn't be appearing now because of the recent uphevals in India
>between moslems and hindus, could it???  Just a little hindu attempt to
>rewrite the moslems out of their own history on the subcontinent.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Probably not.  It is, however, posted every few months.  I hope they
type it in each time they post it.  I would hate to think about the
implications of having that entire set ready for posting at a moments
notice :^)

====================================================================
Bill Pringle
wrp@gvl.unisys.com	-OR- ...!uunet!cbmvax!gvlv2!wrp
From: k@hprnd.rose.hp.com (Steve Kao)
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1992 17:57:00 GMT
Subject: Re: Medieval History FTP sites..
Organization: HP Roseville Networks Division
Newsgroups: soc.history

I don't know about FTP sites, but T.E.Lawrence (aka. Lawrence of Arabia)
wrote a book about Medieval castles.  I recently bought a copy at Tower
of Books.

- Steve Kao
Newsgroups: soc.history
From: brekshyn@shearson.com (Bohdan Rekshynskyj)
Subject: Re: Byzantine First Names Needed
Reply-To: brekshyn@shearson.com
Organization: Lehman Brothers, Inc.
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1992 21:18:57 GMT

Pick up the first two volumes of John Julius Norwich's Byzantine History.  You'll have all the names
you'll ever need and probably one of the best written books on the Byzantines in
English.  You can also check Psellus' - A secret history (something like that) for
names in a particular period.  How about "Constantine" for starters, chuckle!

					Bohdan


In article 1h18qbINNscn@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu, cc697@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Eric Oppen) writes:
>
>I would like to know where I would find a list of common given (first)
>names used by the people of the Byzantine Empire, for a writing project I
>am doing.  Anybody with ideas, please e-mail me as well as posting here,
>since I  am not on the net as much as I'd like.
>
>Efkharisto!
>
>-- 
>It is caffeine alone that sets my mind in motion.  It is through beans of
>java that thoughts acquire speed, that hands acquire shakes, that shakes
>become a warning...I am...IN CONTROL...OF MY ADDICTION!
>---From the Minicon Graffiti Wall, 1989(?)










=====================================================================
 
Bohdan Peter Rekshynskyj
 
Consultant                     
 
Compuserve:  72576.1754@compuserve.com


                              
All promulgations are my own.  No corporate entity has authorization
to represent me.
 
Imprimatur.						Nihil obstat.
 
=====================================================================


Newsgroups: soc.history
From: ah190@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Stuart Pearl)
Newsgroups: soc.history
Subject: Mark Twain Mystery
Date: 30 Dec 1992 20:42:59 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
NNTP-Posting-Host: slc10.ins.cwru.edu


We're trying to resolve a classroom debate - where would Mark Twain
have been on Sunday Sept. 2, 1888?  Some folks place him in Europe
on a tour, while others say he was in St. Louis.  Thanks in advance.

-stu
-- 
                   ---===<<< Stuart Pearl >>>===---
                           Cleveland, Ohio
                      ah190@cleveland.freenet.edu
                         --------------------
Newsgroups: soc.history