From: zagar@chester.cms.udel.edu (Randy Zagar)
Subject: Re: single men
Reply-To: zagar@chester.cms.udel.edu
Organization: Marine Studies, University of Delaware
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1992 18:03:38 GMT

In article 26893@cbnewsd.cb.att.com, nance@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci) writes:
>
>When we are little wee bearn, our first bond is with a woman.  We
>grow in her body, we are born through her vagina, and we nurse at
>her nipple.  Biology, like all primates.  But humans also have emotions
>that start at God knows what stage of development but probably sometime
>before birth.
>
>We form emotional bonds, and the first one we form is with this body
>we have contact with that's providing us with all kinds of neat 
>sustinence.  It's our mother.  As children we can still be cuddled
>and nurtured by this woman.  But then when we mature into adults to
>start the cycle of life again, the sexes split.  The young men change their
>nurturing point from one woman (mother) to another woman (mate).
>
>With the young woman, it's a little more involved.  She must not only change
>her nuturing point away from the mother, but she must learn to be physically
>intimate with a man.  Once this is done, she has then bonded with BOTH
>sexes and knows both type of intimacies.  It's biology, it's life, it's
>the planet.
>
>It's also why two women can bond closer than two men (ie, arms around each
>other, hugging, dancing together, etc.) and nobody will bat an eyeball about
>it.  It's also why a preponderance of people think that lesbian scenes in
>porno movies are erotic, but homosexual men getting it on is a turn-off.  And
>it's also why having fathers do the nurturing is something fairly new (it
>didn't start until the Cro-Magnon era) that some people *still* view a
>little cockeyed.
>
>I think the answer to the WHY!!!! question can be found in your high
>school biology and family psychology books.  Women bond with their same
>sex from birth; men don't.  Now that more and more fathers are taking an
>active part in the birthing and bonding process, this might change and
>all you guys who really want to might raise sons who can hug and dance
>and have sex with other men and the whole world will be Disneyland. 
>                      (_) \(_)                           

I take it then, Nance, that your argument is a biological one.  I, on the
other hand, think that the source for this is cultural and not biological.

In case anyone's interested, there's a very good book on male/female 
conversational styles.  It's called 'You just don't understand: Women and
Men in conversation" by Deborah Tannen.  Definitely lots of good food for
thought in this book.

-RZ



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| Randy Zagar                            Get your priorities straight.        |
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